The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-12-14
VARIETIES.

-Eloping is somebody snatching.
-Skunks never fluctuate in value.
Caution is the father of security.
Hogs are putting on avoirdupois.
Almost time to turn over new
leaf.
Can harbor buoy be called a child
of the sea?
There have been four attempts on
royal lives this year.
doctors have a perfect right to rob
graves. They fill 'em.
"A candidate is never licked when
the voters scratch him.
Many western Pennsylvanians are
emigrating to the South.
The new constitution of Georgia
makes lobbying crime.
-" All the worlds stage" but the
fare does not suit everybody.
Sheffield utilities 100000 shanks
of oxen into knife handles, ETC., yearly.
Hartford, Ind. has public wood
shed wherein tramps saw for susie
nance.
If criminals are to be believed,
none of them ever had an honest con-
viction.
Indians never kiss each other, and
having seen a few Indians, we can't
blame them.
The whisper of beautiful woman
can be heard further than the loudest
yell of duty.
If you wish to be praised die
TGIndge. If you wish to be raised, die.
A. T. Ste0art.
King Humbert was dreadfUlly
CALLED to think that his assassin was
merely cook.
Low roosts and dark nights greatly
tempt the ungodly to eat boned turkey.
-NeW Orleans Picayune.
1t is proposed in Massachusetts to
sell the Hoosac tunnel for $5,000,000
and levy no State tax for ten years.
Passing strange that it doesn't oc-
cur to Judge Hilton to get out habedS
corpus. Calls himself Judge?-PhiIG-
delphia Bulletin.
Mr.. Stewards body will presently
crawl back into its grave, discouraged
by its fruitless efforts to find the New
| OTk OllCe IOrCe.
-" Dipped into weak solution of
accomplishments" is the term now APP
piled to those of our girls protesting to
be highly educated.
Charity covereth a multitude of
sins; and it may not be amiss to remind
our rich people that they, as well as
the poor, need more covering at this
season of the year.
Official statements show that 4,000,-
900 acres of land in the United States
are used for orcharding, and the total
value of the fruit crop is set down at
S1SS, 100000, equal to half the value of
the wheat crop.
Mrs. Bonanza Mackay has sus-
tanned the reputation of America for
extravaganza by expanding something
like $4,000 at the Exposition. She
bought many articles declined by roy
atty as too dear.
"A man in Denver wanted to defraud
his creditors, and so he put all his prop
erty into his wife's possession. They
quarreled, separated, and she refused
to surrender dollar. He surrendered
to death by suicide.
John has five oranges; James gave
him eleven, and he gave Peter seven;
how many has he left?' Before this
problem the class recoiled. "Please,
sir" said a lad, "we always does our
sums in apples"
The expression of boys face at
the end of a straw that lacks two inches
of reaching the cider in a barrel is sup
posed to be the model that the artist
selected in the delineation of Adam
eaving Paradise.
Notwithstanding the low price of
cotton, it is stated that the working
people of southwest Georgia, both
white and black, are, as a general thing,
better off than they have been at any
time since the close of the war
In a certain street there are three
tailors. The first to set up shop hung
out this sign: 90 Here is the best tailor
in this town" The next put up: "Here
is the best tailor in the world" The
third simply had this: "Here is the
best tailor in this street."
The newest fashion of ladies' hats
is just out. 1t is sort of two-story
| iiSiA D iiOou, WIN Oil ONl CJCDlOW vi
one side and squirrels tail on the
other, and is worn on projection of
seaweed about six inches in the rear of
the head.-Cncinnati BreaktaSt Table.
Sheep husbandry in western Texas
has grown at marvellous rate In
1866 San Antonio received but 600, 900
pounds of wool, while in 1877 she re-
ceived 100000. In 1866 there were
shipped from Corpus Christi 100000;
this year there will be shipped $780,
600.
"A fellow by the name of Ephraim
Hazeltine wrote to a downtown book
seller as follows: "Dere sur: if you
hev gut a book called Daniel Webser
on a bridge pleas send me copy by
Pysers express C. o. ID want ter git
it termorer if kin, caus my spelin
techer says l oughter hev it."
Forget thee?'' wrote young man
to his girl" forget theeP When the
earth forgets to revolve; when the stars
forget to shine; when the rain forgets
to fall; when the flowers forget to
bloom-then, and not till then, will /
forget thee" Three months later he
was going to see another girl with a