The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-06-27
WIT AND HUMOR,

WIT AND HUMOR.
HE hen becomes rooster when the
sun goes down.
PRESIDENTS and Chancellors always
have their little vices.
WHY is the sun like good loafp Be-
cause it's light when it rises.
The spring overcoat, like the OYSTER.
has nearly reached its pawning season.
Mr.. BUDD asked her, "Rose. wilt
thou be mine?" Rose answered. ''I am
sorry it can not be-a Rose can not be
turned into Budd."
"THEY tell me old Skinfint is losing
his sight" "Put up job; he's going
blind to save his dog-tax. Blind mems
poodles are exempt, you know"
"SEE, said sorrowing wife, chow
peaceful that cat anddog are" eyes"
said the petulant husband, "but just tie
them together, and see how the fur will
fyr
WHEN certain minister referred, in
the midst of an eloquent discourse, to
the nave in the church, three gentlemen
offered their pews for sale, on the
ground that he was becoming too per-
sonai.
A MILD criticism does one good.
"What was the sermon about this morn
ing ?" asked a mother of her child.
"Well, }" was the reply, " it was about
let me sect was about twenty minutes
too long; that's all I remember"
"PA," said little boy, years old,
L saw a lion and a lamb lying side by
side in the meadow this morning.
Tut, tut, James. Don't tell such sto-
ries," said the father "I tell you I
did, " persisted the child; 'but it was a
dande-lion."
[Chicago TribuneJ
A shareholder pillow.
The frst tanner-The sun.
A soft's nap-A noodle asleep.
An ice thing-A Polar expedition.
A "clear" case-Jumping a bail-bond.
To make man feel sheepish- Lam"
him.
Bootless attempt Trying to go bare
foot
In writing, millers use foury Ian
guage.
A pair of suspenders-A brace of
hangmen.
A case of suspendered animation-A
man with braces on.
The man isn't very hungry who AYERS
that he is above board.
In very warm weather the schoolmas-
ter is the only man who keeps his collars
straight.
The discrepancy between pepper and
good soil is-One is ground fine, and the
other is fine ground.
The difference between a goose and
some men is, that the goose never gets
into hot water until it's dead.
cincinnati Breakfast Tablet
A nod fellow-A policeman.
A popular field officer-A kernel of
corn.
Hard times-The time to leave our
downy couch in the morning.
Somehow, we do not hear of the
graves of the physicians being robbed.
Mary had little lamb-but it was
very ittle-in her boarding house hash.
There is wonderful power in imagi-
nation, but it gets weak in the knees
when it undertakes to shoulder circus
lemonade.
Sit down and think it over. Did you
ever know little man who could cut
watermelon or make a motion at a
caucus without an air of fussy i'm
portance?
Science is making long strides, and
the present days will be red-1etter days
in the history of human progress. But
we will never be perfectly content un-
til some one suggests plausible ex-
PLANTATION of the fact that hand picked
apples are always plentiest the day after
a storm.
[Chicago Commercial Advertiser
Pattern women-The dressmakers.
The lawyers paradise Sioux City.
A typo who is good pointer is good
setter.
Harmless waves-Those of ladies'
handkerchiefs.
We say "a laying hen, " instead of "a
lying hen," because she is on-nest.
Why is a man with natural footless
leg like mule? Because he is stubborn.
When a man "spits cotton is it
sign he has had to do with any cotton
gin?
The sting of bee carries conviction
with it. 1t makes man ready bee
leaver insects.
The reason why editors have their
manners corrupted is because they re-
ceive so many evil communications.
Twelve youths have been sent by the
Emperor of Morocco to be educated In
France. Though bound in Morocco.
they are to be lettered In Paris.
A thief, in fleeing from his pursuer,
slipped and fell on a piece of ice and
was captured. This is what may be fitly
termed ''stern Justice"