Smyrna times., 1878-06-26
What is an Engagement

WlaL is an hngag6ln6nG
What really constitutes a sacred obliga
ton in these matters, and how far gentle
man should consider himself bound is too
nice a subject to be briefly expressed. But
a matrimonial engagement does not consist
of any of the civilties and courtesies of
life which a gentleman may extend to
lady. 1t is not unfrequently the case,
however, that these are mistaken for
declarations, and the announcement is
made at once that such persons are en-
gagged.
Such is the imprudence of friends, and |
frequently of the lady herself, that the |
common politeness and attention which is
ever due between the sexes are construed !
into proposals for matrimony, and man
hears the report of his engagement, while,
as vet, not even a dream of the thing has
passed through his mind. If a man es-
corts lady to the theatre, if he walks with
her in the street, if he occasionally visits
her for the sake of her good society, the
report is not unfrequently set on foot by
some indiscreet friend that the parties are
! engaged.
Neither does an engagement consist Of
any politeness or social intercourse which a
lady may extend to gentleman.
There are young gentlemen, however, OF
such consummate vanity as to suppose that
such treatment is nothing less than the
strongest intimaton of personal attach
ment. If lady so much as looks at them,
they fancy that it must be a love affair.
SMILE a compliment, is set down by such
small souls as the most unequivocal declara-
ton of love. They tell Of the conquest
they have made with an air Of triumph,
and never know their mistake till they
learn it in that reserve and neglect which
their conduct so richly deserves.
Neither does an engagement consist in
any Of those preliminary steps which are
SO important in order to a just estimate of
the character and qualifications of the
person with whom you would be united for
life.
Many persons imagine, however, that
every such step is one of commttal while
the individual is only forming that wise
; estimate, and making those judicious in
vestigatiOns which everyone is bound to
make in this affair, by regard to his own
happiness and that of others, he is con-
E, sidered as fairly committed without the
D possibility Of honorable retreat.
s But this is all wrong, whether it be the
sentiment Of individuals or public senti-
| ment. Without such investigation, a man
e might as well commit his interest in this
t matter to q lady whom he never beheld
o He might as well be betrothed, as heathen
children by their parents, without his con
t sent or knowledge. He might as we'll be
h blindfolded, and rush into a crowd oi
d women and select a companion at random
Parents must suppose their daughter;
y little less than angels, if they expect t.
betroth them in this manner. And i
d young ladies are so superficial in characte
is and accomplishments as not to admit O
e. such honorable and wise scrutiny, the,
Is had better give up the idea Of marriage, ant
d become nuns at once.
10 Neither does an engagement consist il
the most unqualified declaration of love Of
Is the part of either the gentleman or tn
of lady.
k, This may all be, yet no obligations ar
IS assumed-no contract is formed. And ye
,e there are those who suppose that sue
to declarations of attachment impose an obi
So CATION on their friend which cannot be rt
I'd sisted or violated. 1t is true such disclc
e. sure on the part of the gentleman impose
er certain duties on the part of the female
If her circumstances are such as to rend6
N, an engagement impossible, she is boun
d. by every principle to acquaint him i'll
he mediately with the fact, and keep til
be transaction a secret.
re If her circumstances are such as
es render it proper for her to enter into matt
,u. monial engagement, it is proper then tn;
she make his proposal II matter of in
'as mediate and serious consideration. If 81
e's is satisfied with his character, and ente
Ter tains the requisite amount of affection
make their union happy, she has nothir
lid left but to make known to him her a
lie. ceptance Of his proposal.
ler But if, after due consideration and i
quiry, and deliberation, she is conducted
)ut a contrary conclusion, she should lose
,ile time in informing him of the fact, in WI
ve- least likely to wound his sensibilities
his mortify his pride. She will consider
eel too, dictate of modesty and prudence al
nto honor to disclose the circumstance to
ay- living being.
ms, There are many men who make a poi
oor of paying particular attention indiscriu
you nately to several ladies, and when thu
hat marked observances have exposed them
Misrepresentation and calumny, wond
lie. how such could be the result, not meani
ny, any harm, and only intending to amt
We. themselves.
Int There are people whose minds are
cad strangely constituted that they take
ck- pleasure but in mischief, and delight
or torturing the feeling of a brother or fatl
ng? by singing out their female connections
ma the oDleeG OF thelf puOnc hOmagei anu w
ard care not about the misconstructions
e of which they subject their help pless vcti
cad provided they can crafty their whims a
fancies.
}. From whatever cause it proceeds, t
tile effects are the same, and the person W
lng exposes a woman to unmerited ridicul,
md, as contemplate as he is odous and fooli
yeet The character of woman coquette
en- sufficiently odious and repulsive, but wh
the men think proper to initiate the wei
/. nesses and vices of the ladies' they beco
lere altogether contemplate and objectionat
way, -
say More and more the intention to 7
General Grant for third term mantle
THIS itself in various parts of the country. I
ers mention of his name was received W
KIN: vociferous shoutings in the Iowa Republic
t OF State Convention