New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1878-11-27
Mrs. Browns Husbands
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Max Adeler in New York Weekly.

Max Adeler in New York Weskly.
Mr.. Mills, the minister, was q stranger
in the town, and when be was called up
on to visit Mrs, Brown. who had just lost
her husband, and to console her, he went
around t. see Deacon Wilt, so that he
could post himself about the situation,
II understand you to say" said Mr.,
Mills, that Mrs. Brown has been
three times or was it four2'
Il say" replied the deacon, ethat she
was Mr.. Browns third wife, while he
was her fifth husband. But she was the
fourth wife of her second husband and
the second wife OF her first, so that
She" gsya
''Let me see," said the parson, '@the
second wife of her first and the well,
then, three and five are eight, and four
are twelve, and tive are fourteenth I
get the hang Of the thing, Mrs. Brown
has been married fourteen times, and
MIR. Brown was her" HI }ffsjt.tiftf
'No you. don't understand. Brown
was only her fifth husband"
s.Ah, her fifth. But you said she was
the fourth wife of her second husband,
and she had three more, so that--four
and three are seven she must have had
seven husbands, and where are the other
two?"
"Why, don't you see2 Her second
husband was married three times before
he met her. She had boon married
ONCE" l9%
GLOW could she be married only once
before she met him, and vixen she mar
rled him she was his fourth wife, so that
while be had had four wives, she had
only" . n III
"Is this Brown you are speaking OFF,"
''No. no Brown Wss her fifth. BE had
been married twice before. fr.g,
''Her second husband had?"
Il mean Brown, of course. Let me ex-
plain. Mrs. Brown, say, married John,
Thomas, Jacob, William, and Henry,
Thomas married Lulu, Mary Hannah and
Before he married Mrs Brown or
after2"
"Before. Well, then, Brown married
Emma and Matilda, and John married
Agnes. Agnes died and John married
Mrs. Brown. Then John died and Lula,
Mary, Hannah, and Susan died, and then
Thomas married Mrs. Brown. Then
Jacob died and Williams wife died, and
William annexed Mrs. Brown. When
William died Emma and Matilda died,
and then Brown married Mrs. Brown,
Everybody came to Mrs. Brown, you
see!''
II see," said Mrs. Mills. ~ think
grasp the facts. iii go right around to
see herr
Mrs. Brown was at home. And after
abiding to the weather and one or. two
other topics,nMr. Mills said: 5t%
II deeply gTieved, Mrs Brown, to hear
of your bereavement. 1t must be very,
very terrible, even for q person who is SO
used to it, =
$50 used to it! What do you mean,
sir?" @
"Wf y, I merely meant to suggest that
experience cannot reconcile us to these
Affections. But there is this consolation,
dear madam-tim dulls the edge Of our
bitterest grief You wept for John as f
you could not be comforted; but you see
you-"
"John! do not understand you, sir"
'You wept for John, out Thomas came.
When Thomas was taken you thought
yourself utterly inconsolable; but there
was Jacob---hc brought new JOY.
When Jacob was waited to a better land
your heart was nearly broken, but Will
liam healed its wounds; and when Will
liam dritted off into the unknown, Henry
assuaged your grief. Perhaps there are
other Henrys, Williams, and Thomascs
to whom this blessed duty will fall again.
Perhaps ~
you are talking very strangely, sir"
said Mrs. Brown. IN
sob, no; i merely say that now that
John, and Thomas, and Jacob, and vii.
liam, and Henry have been called away
to join Susan, and Hannah, and Agnes,
and Matilda. and Emma, and Lulu, and
Mary, and the rest, there is some hope
that-that --Why. Mrs. Brown, what on
earth is the matter9'
Mrs:,Brown few out of the room with
out replying, and Mr.. Mills, filed with
amazement, went around to ask Deacon
Wilt to explain the MYSTERY.
Il was merely telling her," he said,
ssthat Brown had followed John, and
Thomas, and Matilda, and the others in
to better world, when she z &.
"Good gracious!" khrieked the Deacon;
you didn't=allude toi her dead husbands
and their. wives by those names, did you2'
sOf course. You said that
.Oh, thunder, man! Why, those were
only imaginary names, that used by
way of illustration. Browns first name
was Alcoholics. No wonder she was
mad"
mills groaned and went home ia
dismay. And now Mrs. Brown has left.
his church and gone over to the Episco-
na)ians ia bal married st,on thew