The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1878-05-29

asked his Honor as he looked down up.
on the prisoner. .... ......,.,. ...... -,
She's the one who ought to hide
her invidious face in perfdlous shame +
hotly replied the prisoner. 'She wanted
my wealth-she was playing the base
hypocrite !"
"And you wanted her house and
lot ?" 49,. D..
"No, sir calculated to give that
house and lot to the poor as soon as we
were married. Obi the base boss basi.
lisk." ..."
"Did you love her, Mr.. Warner p
:. "I did She was my sunny star my
beacon lightl T 10 dream has been
shattered-the golden sun has gone
down in the darkness of midnight I" III
+ "Well, you'll save heap of pork and
potatoes" sighed the court as he pow
dered up q peanu. shell between hIe
thumb and finger. "You come under
the head of heart broken, and you car
go. You'd better let widows alone afte,
"I will will! If I ever love anoth.
or widow I hope to be spiked fast to the
sidewalk Heaven will reward you for
your merciful mercy toward one whose
bounding nature has been severely
shooken with a shock"
Tread softly, shed tear
Heave one regretful sigh;
We love to-day, to-morrow-wen,
We find twas in our eye.
"sEx E." ..
Johnson McClurg buys potatoes for
thirty cents per bushel and drives around
and sells them out at forty. he was
making sale of peck to woman on
Brady street, and was just remarking
that he prided himself on handling the
plumpest, fattest, mealiest potatoes ever
dug from the soil Of America, when a
man came along and called out that
eight quarts made q peck. The fuss
started right there. The prisoner e1-
planned to his Honor: 49, - :.
"He halted, and sez eight quarts
make peck, and sez I tits SO, and sez 9
you are trying to cheat poor orphan,
and sez I you go long, and sez III not
move till I see fair measure, and sez I
who be you; and sez you are q fraud
and liar, and sez I I'll prove to the
contrary, and sez I'll mop the ground
with you, and sez e."
"That's plenty, interrupted the court,
"Now, then, how many quarts were you
giving her for peck ?"
"Haight, of course"
"Full measure2"
"The biggest kind O. measure, sir. v
"Then what was wrong?"
"Nuthink, sir-only the man thought
I wasn't going to allow for some papers
which had slipped into the measure"
"Ah | the fine is five dollars, Mr.. Nc
Clurg."
"Beside the pounding I got? It's
awful, sir |"
"Can't slave those figures bit. We
give honest measure here"
The prisoner paid his fine and walked
out. When clear of the door he called
back:
"Seven quarts will make a peck with
me for the next year to come T.
NOT A CHARM.
Dennison Cole came to the station and
asked to be sent up.
"Haven't you any work." asked the
court.
"Not an ounce" was the mournful
reply:
"All gone-al gone don't believe
could eat mince pie i I was paid for
it."
".Hyou go up you can't eat any early
onions"
"Never mind-i'm willing to put up
with the sacrifice"
"Root beer will soon be on the fzz
and harvest apples will be seen IN the
land" suggested the court.
What does q weary, fainting man
care for fizzes and roots and beers ?" de-
manded the man.
"But the circus season has opened,
Mr.. Cole"
IT don't care for 'em-I never have
money to CO."
"Don't you love to sit on the curb
stone and see the sprinkling carts 60
past?"
"No."
"Don't sit around the ferry dock to
see heart-bloken girls Jump into the
river?"
"Not 8 sit"
"Mr. Cole, has life no charms for
you?"
"Not one-not as much as you can
put on the pint of hair"
"Well, I'll send you up. They have
new buck-saw and sixty cords of wood,
and you can" .
essay, Judge, I guess won'tgo up 7
suddenly put in the prisoner.
"I guess you will !"
"Judge, I'm off to Canada! I'm in
hurry-I'm-p
"You are booked, Mr.. Cole, AMI
when you reach the last cord of tina
hickory wood, drop me note and sigl
it 'affectionately thine Trot along
my little man. "-Detroit Free Press.