West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-03-23
MIRANDA BELINDA'S HUSBANDS


Jedediah Jones had a father and n
mother aud big brother and a little
sister and an Aunt Jane McKinzer.
They all resided i'm little house in the
town of Bumblenox. They worked hard
and were happy. Generally speaking,
the hard-working peopleare the happiest.
But Jedediah got upOne morning with
a new idea in his head. He thought he
would go away from home and see the
world
He went.
He had some cash of his own, and his
Aunt Jane gave him some more.
You see his Aunt Jane was the right
kind of woman to have for an aunt.
Oh, would that there were more Aunt
Janes
Jedediah went to the town of VIM
plebox and he opened a small grocery
store.
And he prospercd.
When he arrived at the age of twenty
five he fell in love with Miranda Belinda
Jenkinson. He loved madly, wildly,
devotedly, passionately, unrestrainedly,
uncontrollably, and in half dozen other
ways.
Some take the love fever calmly and
coldly.
But Jedediah didn't. He had it bad.
He visited Miranda Belinda.
And Miranda visited him.
She bought calico at his store.
And dried beef.
And apple butter.
They chatted pleasantly across the
counter.
And Jedeiah's love continued to grow
until 1T became q perfect hurricane.
He asked Miranda to be his wife
A,,1 4 4 II. 4
she wanted to be shy and reserved, and
she held back i'm a manner
ooh, Jedediah has it come TO this? /
never dreamed of it. Do you really
love me?'
Indeed, indeed, pom my word I dow
And in his excitement he upset keg of
sugar.
You see Jedediah proposed i'm the store,
which, you know, wasn't an appropriate
place.
You are sure you love me?" con-
tinued Miranda Belinda.
Sure? Yes, as sure as the sun now is
shining in yonder heavingsl"
Then I'll be your wife," said Miranda
Belinda, in soft tone, which sounded
like the vibrations of window harp.
am happy man." exclaimed
And so am Ip responded Miranda
Belinda
In the merry month of May, when the
vegetables had commenced to grow, and
the farmers were beginning to think
seriously OF shearing their sheep they
were married.
For few months they seemed to be
happy.
But trouble arose
And Miranda Belinda scratched
Jedediah's face
And Jedediah hit Miranda Belinda
crack with his fist
1t was all about few paltry potatoes.
In preparing breakfast one morning.
Miranda Belinda fried the potatoes to
such an extent that they had a black
appearance.
In fact they were shamefully burned.
Jedediah waxed cross and jawed.
And Miranda Belinda iawed too.
Did her voice sound like window
harp now?
guess not.
They came to blows.
Yes, the truth must be told They
scratched and kicked
Alas alas
And then they separated.
A divorce was obtained, and Jedediah
shut up the grocery and went to his
fathers
And Miranda Belinda went to her
fathers and made preparations toward
winning another husband.
Jedediah's Aunt Jane consOled and
comfOrted him as best she could. She
told him TO keep brave heart and
hunt another wife
She also fed him on the fat OF the
farm
And huckleberry pie.
Jedediah began to feel that he was
himself again, and began TO look around
with the design Of taking another and a
better wife.
But the girls encouraged him not;
they turned up their noses ut him.
Which caused Jedediah's heart 20 sink
Miranda Belinda was more successful
She married a spOOny man.
Ills name was William John Jacob
Jehosaphat Jones.
Another Jones7
Yes another Jones.
For the space of four weeks and three
days they lived happily.
No clouds came, no storms arose.
But at the end of four weeks and
three days q change came.
es, change sudden and fearful.
Inc breeze grew into a storm. and the
storm into a hurricane.
spintered.
And William John, and so forth, was
Miranda Belinda was powerful
woman, and she ruled the house.
Two more weeks passed away, and in