Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1878-05-21
pottrp.
Deacon BGb6it's PhOno0rGph.
BY At woRDES.


He Pernscd the Seieace Monthly and the Review
rainy days;
Had cabinet Of fossils. and some birds securel
stuffed
In hi. wool house chamber study. where his pip
was daily pulled.
1t would make an Old.time farmer stare around a
In a dream
To see the Deacon churu and plough, and cut hi
hay by steam,
Pitch his hay and thrash his barley with mAchin
cry alone,
And cali his help TO dinner with patent telephone
Thus the deacon bought each patent that cOulC
work or walk or sing,
Till he heard the papers raving of the very lates
thing;
A machine to bottle language, or a song, or sigh
or langA.
Then tht deac, Z he got crazy 20 possess phOno
graph.
Why, said he, jes, think OF STORM up for future
generation
par meeting or conference; 'twould be their
salvation,
or good old hymns; these modern ones are jist a.
Thurs no use talkin', must have a patent phon
ogNph.
And no one knows how much It cost-the deacon
had has way
And on Bis study table stood the photograph one
dSy.
The deacon loaded it with hymn, and piOus odds
Then dOnped hi. hat, and sought the street to Cal
in sundry friends.
THE BOTS INTERVIEW IT.
Jehonijao, the oldes; son, had sought his brother
And they called in the hired man to view the new
machine.
They danced and sung, and turned the crank with
uuCOuth song and laugh,
Not knowing OF the my site powers Of thai same
uhOnOgraph.
They could not tell the purpose OF the tin foil on
They threatened Angrily to kick the thing to king
dom come
1T cannot dis. or plant or SOW, or do a single
Then they had a war dance round the room that
made The study ring.
TIA DEACON RETUKSErH.
The deacon found the elder with his work before
But be made him leave his sermon al the forty
And down the street, HE smokinG-cAp disported
His funny asured morning gown spread gaily out
behind.
Together they sought Deacon smooth, man Of
solid sense,
Conservative IN politics. g.on, aud expense;
just The opposite OF Babbit, he stuck 70 good old
AMI he laughed at all the Inventions Of these evil
modern days
But Deacon Rabbit walked cree, with triumph in
his eve.
ale wonlt show EN- an Invention that would make
a'l -kcptt-s fy.
And he told them he had bo,,lel good old" China"
and "MilbAnk"
And he guessed they'd stop TIE r laugbu' when
they hearl h.m turn ,ac crank.
On the table in the stady al so simple Snd serene
stood the very uupreteuuoust and remarkable
machine,
Then The deS s5r esplai1cd to them the diaphragm
Grasred The hAadls, saying promptly, "Ju'' you
hark 70 what's % come
II wonder what the derned old hoE has been a
buy.n' now
The deacon cropped the handle, while the sweat
The thing BE- CUT OF k,lter, but Il guess III Try
agin
20, Ke'sc1, don't you wan, dog'' aud "Beisey
likes her CIV
The elder dopned ms smoking cap and started for
the door,
Bu, Deacon smooth wiDSed slyly saying he would
Ike some more
But BAbbi, gazed on the machine with looks OF
dark despair,
Then said he guessed he q try again; ne knew MS
hymns were there
he grasped the handle armlY, caring nothing FOR
Ofhaifa dozen dancing eends with voices like his
boys;
Or shouted solss in melting tones Of "l'm your
dAr "a f.ne"
And "Wac0p up, my hearty boys" Farewell
% Mary blame
But Deacon smooth had stood il all conservative
and grand
Uutn the war dance came along, and then be rails
Cd his hand
And smote the ph0nogrAPh blow that laid it on
the fOor..
A mass OF wheels and broken springs, thing o;
life 40 more.
The elder he ran down the stairs his fingers 10 his
ears,
Repeating Scripture to himself to quell his rising
And saying mildly to himself. when man de
serts MS sphere
And penetraies 10 hidden h'pgs, bed better stand
in fear
But Deacon Babbit good old man, will raise his
head no more.
lie sits and gAzes sadly at the wreck upon the
floor.
And tries 20 understand in vain without an ex
plAnauOn)
How some way in The management he lost th'
coordination.
The bows =; noou were curious about the new ma
Cuine.
Bat the deacon told them to 'Shut up" with such
u wrainfll mein
That not word leaked out about the fatal morn
inEs spree.
And Deacon smooth, conservative, has scored
victory.