The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-29

ed. The hair 10 question was a
bright red color, and few persons
would have imagnied that It was
dangerous when uneonnected With
its owner. Nevertheless, that SEEM
inely innocent back hair led to a
tragedy that nearly ruined The peace
of two happy aud respectable iam'-
lies.
Messrs Smith and Brown are the
leading citizens engaged in the gro
cerv business in Clinton. They are
men Of great worth Of character, and
have reached middle age without IN
curing the breath OF SANDER. One
evening Mr.. Smith returned from the
store and sitting down at the tea
table. produced q Chicago paper from
his pocket and remarked with much
indignation. that revolving Beecher
scandal has peen revived, and It's
loathsome details-are again poluting
the press and corrupaug the minds
Of the public.
Mrs. Smith replied that il was a
shameful outrage that the papers
were allowed to publish such disgust
ing things. end asked Der husband
which ~ had the fullest account
of the matter. The excellent mar
said that be believed that the y azette
contained more about il thar any
other paper, and thai after tea be
would send one If the boys TO get a
COPY Of &C.. His wife thanked him,
and Wa il the act Of remarking that
be was slgsys thoughtful and con
siderate, when the oldest boy eX-
clsimed, Pa. you've got long red
hair on Faur collar.
A prompt investigation made by
Mr.. Smith confirmed The boys ae-
cusation. There aas "a unmlstesa-
BILE femsle hair on The collar Of Mr.
Smilh'- clar, aud 10 was obfrusiveiy
red Mr. SmilE said that IL was a
very extraordinary Thing, and Mrs.
Smith, also remarkiag, very extraor-
diuary, indeed. 10 a dry, e~arcastlc
voice. expressed deep disgust at a
red barr, aud a profound contempt
To- The nasty creature who wore 1t.
About tbe same hour Mr Brown
was also seated N Bis tea-table, aod
when e~Ddeavorigg 10 excuse himself
t. Ms Brown for having forgot "a
bring home apaper. The lady, after
having expressed The utmost indigna.
lion at toe revival Of the BeecheI
scandal, bad asked for the paper ia
order D. zee who was dead and mar
ried. aud was, Of course, indignant.
because Der husband had not brought
il bone. ia The beat Of the discus
sion she noticed a long red hair on
klr. Browns c~oat-c0llsr, aud, holding
it up before him, she demanded an
explanation. Ia vain did Mr.. Brown
aliege that be had not the least idei
how the hair became attached TO hi'
collar. His wife replied that VIVA
be said was simply ridiculous. Rec
hair don't blow around like thistl,
down, and al your time Of life, Mr.
Brown, you ought TO be ashamed o
yourself The less you say the bet
ter. bul | can tell you that you can
deceive me. I'm not a member o
plymouth Church, aud you can't
make me believe that black is white
Now, both Mr.. Brown and Mr.
Smith are perfectly innocent. o
course, they were annoyed by the re
marks Of their respective wives, but
like sensible men, they avoided any
unnecessary discussion Of the painful
topic. The next day they brough.
home all the Chicago papers that con
tanned any reference to the Beechet
matter, and, as the papers were re
ceiyed by Mrs. Brown and Mrs
Smith with many protestations o
the disgust which they felt at hear
ing even the name OF Beecher men
toned. they naturally supposed tina
they had made their peace. Bu.
marital suspicion once awakened il
not easily put to sleep. While Mr.
Brown was handing his wife the bun
die Of newspapers, she was closely
scrutinizing his cOat-cOllar, and, afte
she had laid the papers on her plat
and told the children not to touci
them, she quietly took two long re,
hairs from her unfortunate busband'
coat, and held them solemnly befor'
his face.
Mary, / give you my solemn word
began the alarmed Mr.. Brown; bu.
be was not permitted TO finish hi
sentence. Don't say one word, ex
claimed Mrs. Brown. Falsehood
won't help you; / am a faithful an
loving wife, and I'll have you expos
ed and punished If there is any lav
in Illinois. Thus saying she gather
ed mp her newspapers aad rushing t
her room, locked herself in. IL wa
not till later in the evening that Mr.:
Smith, ss she was about to turI
down nor husbands lamp, which wa
smoking, perceived that two re
hairs were attached to bis shoulder
She said nothing, but after lawn
them on the table before him, burs
into tears and refused TO be comfort
ed until Mr.. Smith solemnly swor
that be rad not seen a red haired We
man for months aud years, and o
iered to buy her a new parlor csrpC
the very next day.
OF The two ladies, Mrs. Brow
was much the stronger Of the tw
aud more determined. The ne,
evening when Mr.. Brown brough
back from the store no less than fv
or six red hairs on bis coat collal
she broke a pie-plate over bis heaC
and leaving him weltering in drie
apples, put on her bonnet and left th
house. Mrs Smith, on the sam
evening, found four OF the mysteriou
red-hairs on her husbands coat, bI
she RETAINED from violence, an
merely telling him that she woul
not believe in his innocence if
were to swear till he was black
the face, called loudly for her sain
ed mother and was about TO fail
when Mrs. Brown burst into ii
room. Mr.. Smith, ike a wise ma
fed from the scene, and the two ]
die soon con6ded their wrongs
one another.