The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1878-01-03
SMALL CHANGE.

lc WuO Will HOt TedSOu lS DlSOt,
he who cannot is a fool, and he who
dares not is slave.
Punctuation was first used in lit
e.ature in 1920. Beforethattime
wordsandsentenceswereput together
likethis.
"Time fies," suggested She
"Yes," he answered, sadly, taking a
dark object out of the cream, "time
flies were all gone"
If all the year were playing holi-
days, to sport would be as tedious
as to work; but when they seldom
come, they are wished for.
You're a smart fellow" sneered a
lawyer to a witness, the other day.
'Pd return the compliment if l
wasn't under oath," replied the wit
ness.
A Milwaukee dancing master is
about introducing a new dance ex
pressly for fat people. All the per-
formers have to do is to sit on the
floor and kick.
We are not surprised to learn
that when Job had seven boils on
the back of his neck he went along
the street as if he were looking for
a thousand dollar gold piece.
There is nothing that will knock
the ground pinning from under a
mans theological training quicker
than to walk against the edge of a
door in the dark.
Johnny, have you learned any
thing during the week?" asked a
father of a fve-year old pupil.
"Yeth'm," "Well, what is it2"
'Never to lead a small trump when
you hold both bowers"
Young men, steel your hearts
against the lnsidious young woman
who will soon make her appearance
at the church fair and smile on you
and try to induce you to pay 81 for
two cent pen wiper.
A young lady of Clinton, Ill, sent
twenty-five cents and a postage
stamp in reply to an advertisement
of "How to make an impression"
and received for an answer: "Sit
down on Il pan of dough-"
A lady correspondent says that
girls should cease to be kissed by
their gentlemen friends when they
put on long dresses. We never
kissed anybody in our life, but we'd
just like to know what difference
the length of dress makes.
A young man in Maine writes to
ask us if we want to engage "puz-
zle editor" No, thank you. We
have a puzzled editor, and that is
sufficient. He is puzzled to find
out why in thunder people don't pay
for their papers.
A boy undertook to torture a
wasp by touching a lighted match
to its body. The wasp applied its
warm side to the boys hand, and as
it flew away 1t gave the boy these
words of wisdom: "Never try to
beat a man at his own game"
Which.-"Shall try a homeo-
path or an allopathY" "My dear
fellow, it is six of one and half a
dozen of the other. The allopath
kills his patients; the homeopath
lets his die" "Then 1 will call an
allopath-the poor woman will suf
fer less French Wit.
A short-line engineer informs o
correspondent of the Madisonville
Times that a young man with his
head out at the car window went to
tell his grandmother goodbye, and
the train pulled out 50 fast that he
kissed an old negro woman at the
next station.
1t is better than having univer-
sity education, to have the privilege
of holding converse on the subject
of the European war with young
man who speaks of the ''Khah-
deev" and the "Sool-tong," and the
''toot on sombel" of the Roozhian
corps de reserve.
Said a college professor to q no.
torious laggard, who was once, for
wonder, promptly in his place at
morning prayers, and at the ap-
pointed time, 81 have marked you,
sir, as punctual this morning. What
is your excuseT' "S-s ick, sir, and
couldn't Sleep" was the reply.
A little boy was asked the other
day. if he knew where the wicked
finally went to. He answered:
"They practice law a spell here and
then go to the Legislature" 1t
was a painful operation for that boy
to sit down for a few days.
He was about six years old. He
pointed to the face of the dial and
said, "Why, there's another little
watch" l said, "That is called the
second hand. He tossed his head
contemptuously and walked of,
saying, 81 would't own a second
hand watch"