The morning star and Catholic messenger., 1878-09-15


ie hedged in with jealous care. Anglo
Saxons, and, indeed, all Teutonic nations
began with different notion of marriage
not less sacred, and not less widely differ
] ent from the loose ideas of their descend
ants than those of their Latin contempora
rles, but the sacredness led them to differ
eDt conclusions, ard their instincts to diff
| ferent means of upDOlding marriage. The
| dignity and the responsibility OF the indi
vidual was dwelt upon rather than the holi
| ness of the tie contracted but the object
was the same and the result alike.
A girl of our times looks upon her en-
gagement ss q triumph, and her success az
the climax of o race she has won the fret
prize, she has distanced her competitors,
che carries things with high hand. Duties
she sees none pleasures are the right ol
her position che has In her suitor an es.
cort who cannot rebel, go society has ruled
it, and whom che may exhibit as her pet dog
for the two or three months during " hich
such q species Of engagement usually lasts
She refuses to see that che lie bound to de
fer to his wishes, to study bis tastes, to
learn beforehand to please and to ind oence
him, to find out his peculiarities and ht her
own to them, to win him from any bad
habit or encourage him in any good i'm $.
pulse, to belong to him in nearly all things
as o wife, to begin her holy relations with
him the moment a word binding their hon.
or and conscience has been spoken. On
the contrary, the worldly code reverses all
this. In the case, 80 often and 80 degrad-
ingly known, of man Of some fortune or
position being drawn to admire girl Of
less wealth or station than -himself, how
crineiog the conduct of the girl and her
parents to the yet unsecured "match, j" how
savish her Difference to his wishes, dis
likes, opinions, even moral beliefs, now
trembling her watch of his words, how pn-
firing her assiduIty in all things. He is
4 knrD ly
sense in which these wsrds ever imply
degrading connection. La the case OF
poor man wooipg an heiress Tor IN any Of
the intermediate shades OF intercourse
that can be classed under this head) the
same holds good, and, if possible, is still
more reprehensible. But see the change in
the triumphant girl who has brought the
desirable lover to clear explanation; she
ties him to her apron strings, and parades
her property in the circle of her quaint
ance, to the discomfort and secret shame
of the man. The world sanctions this in
ter rpretation of an engagements, just rs it
does that other shame of society, the cur
gress" of more or less display and dissipa-
ton as a preliminary TO the duties of
home. An unwiser thing could scarcely
be, for if q woman has any unfortunate
towards display, the whirl OF
life that is crowded into the honeymoon
must needs make the new home at first
seem insufferably dull; the temptation is
actually cruel to many young women, and
should not be offered them.
We must not imagine that We have car
ried out to its full development the liberty
in the choice of our mates, to which English
law and custom have always tended; the
present light method of looking on en-
gagements ia an utter abuse thing m
worthy of our serious, conscientious, strict
fhipr fOrpi n thair fppCh-
ing aud tradition. 1t would be pity to
be restricted by such rules as guide some
foreign nations in their ordinary marriages;
itwould be pity even to bind married
women in the matter of property and per-
sonal subjection, as the only recently re-
pealed English laws did but though we
want wise liberty and a protected lati
tude, we ought to show ourselves, as a
body, worthy of the responsibility given us
by this liberty There are, without doubt,
at the present day, almost ss mnny thous-
ands of devoted, brave, Submissive, and
home-ioving wives and mothers ofEoglish.
speaking races, as there ever were, but the
few who are exceptions are more promi-
nent than they were, and more likely to
mislead and tempt weak minds OF their
own eek. 1t is of and to these few that
these few words are said. Who can deny
that in our times there is spirit ofbravado,
of recklessnese, of fastness, which tends to
loosen TlRuClul LleSp JU LuTO" Cu EoeIEaiute,
to overturn barriers, yet not wholly to
overstep the boundary between the proper
and the improper. But this boundary is
| set back as far as any decent woman can
possibly set it without glaringly compro-
missing herself. The "improper" is only
what the laxest moralist cannot choose
but call so, the wise saying that "to the
pure all things are pure" is shamelessly
twisted into permission of dangerous en-
| Iioyment, and an excuse for handling any
amount of moral "pitch." The common
standard of behavior among young people
of marriagesble age, and often of mere
school children, whose premature firta
tions are one of the most painful sigus of
the times, is a very low and despicable
one. Foolish and aimless task, and very
insipid compliments seem the staple of in :
tercourse; an introduction among such
beings means, in their minds, only chance
of a weak, make believe sentimental con
nection, in which the successive stages are
languishing looks, hinted compliments, an
invitation to drive on the part of the man,
and one to tea on the part of the woman
reading poetry aloud and sending in 9
| rboh hrI, In kbot,