Mexico weekly ledger., 1878-11-21
ARTEMUS WARD vs.. THE FAT
CONTRIBUTOR.

have been revived by a writer in
Scribner, the Prompt Book is remind
ed of one, as related to him by John
z. Smith, the well known manager
of the ''Uncle Tom" combination.
MIR. Smith was acting as advance
agent for Artemus Ward during the
time he was lecturing on the ''Mor-
mons" and exhibiting his panorama
of Salt Lake City. While on their
travels they came across Mr.. A. Mi
nor Gfiswold, the ''Fat Contributor"
who also had panorama and comic
lecture, and was advertised to appear
in the same town.
The two old friends and celebrated
comic writers enjoyed each others
company, and each one expatiated
upon his success and the attractive
ness Of the show he was running.
Ward inquired of Griswold if his
lecture was fnnny and his il.ustra-
tons good, and receiving assurance
to that effect he next asked Griswold
what his nightly expenses were and
what he could afford to exhibit for.
swell, fifty dollars is good pay
ing house for me- replied the F. C..
''Then," said A. Ward, ''if / saw
fit to pay you $50 you'd be willing to
give your entire show and let me sup
ply the..audienee.'
Certainly 1 would" said Girls
void.
''Done," said Ward, "I'll pay you
$50 and you must deliver your lecture
entire--no cutting. I'll hold the
manuscript, and your minions must
unwind all your paintings and give
the show just as you were before a
regular audience.
''Fll do it," said Griswold, laugh
ing; and the bargain was made.
Upon the night of the performance
Ward called Smith and the attaches
of his combination together, told
them of his agreement, and gave them
directions how to act during the per-
ftgmance, closing with the admoni-
tion that he would discharge any man
Ola the spot who dared to even make
tile least attempt at smile during
Griswold's lecture.
At night Griswold was promptly
athis reading-desk and saw before
him an audience of some II persons
scattered around upon the front seats,
and as he commenced the introduc-
ton of his lecture his auditors all,
save one, drew newspapers from theiI
pockets and quietly began reading.
the only exception being Ward, who
held the manuscript of the lecture to
be delivered in his hand, and satstrict-
ly following it word for word.
Griswold talked on, and the reyer-
beration of his own voice in the empty
hall and an occasional yawn by Ward
was the only notification he had OF
there being an audience present. AT
every joke that fell from Griswold' IS
lips sob or snore would greet the
perpetrator.
After half al hours steady work
the lecturer found his task getting
very monotonous, and offered to let
Ward off for twenty-five dollars if he
would allow HIM to shut up shop
but the unimpressionable Artemus
would not accede, and demanded the
entire performance. Another 81
minutes was passed in the same way,
varled a little by confidential and
mtlttered remarks among the audi
tors about stale jokes and internal
daubs of pictures, until Griswcld gave
up the ghost and begged off, prefer.
ring to pockes all the losses rather
than submit to the torture of lecturine
to such an audience.
The lecturers and their friends re-
tired, and at the nearest restaurant
enjoyed many jokes over the night: