The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-01-19
VARIETIES.


What is slosh? It's snow matter.
Relative beauty-A pretty cousin.
Bridal chambers-Harness rooms.
Behind time-The back of clock.
A quack doctor is not duck of
man.
Russia.
-Jewelry made of tigers claws is
fashionable.
A good-humored laugh is the key
to all breasts.
Home weddings are most fashiona-
BILE these days
The tramp who works has no pro-
fessional pride.
A New York woman has a goose
twenty-five years old.
Brigham Youngs widows are be-
ginning to marry again.
-Hammocks for dolly are the
latest toys for little girls.
Tuscaloosa, Ala, which lies on a
coal bed, has fuel famine.
Song of the Cincinnatians: "Hold
the pork, fry ham comingr'
then, of course, he tells the truth.
"A greenback in Texas is worth five
cents more than a Mexican dollar.
Although woman's age is unde-
niably her own, she never owns it.
A sign of Indigestion" Gone to
dinner. Be back in five minutes
"A new $500 hearse is the latest
feather in the town hat of Suflield, Conn
The English press talks peace, but
the English Government prepares for
war.
How should love come to the door?
Certainly with ring, but not without a
rap.
"A Boston paper calls a man whose
mothers death brings him $50, 200
lucky.
Gen. Sherman can't help Waiting.
His profession is shottish. Cincinnati
Commercials
Only five female Treasury clerks
have thus far succeeded in marrying
Congressman.
"A four-years-old boy in Middle
town, Conn, smokes and swears, Just
like his papa.
The right kind of ham sandwich
is a little lean on the staff of life.-NetU
Orleans Picayane.
The Russians are now turning to
the Gar and with one voice singing:
"HOld the Porter
"A cloth made from the down of all
kinds of domestic fowls and sea birds is
quite the rage in Paris.
Al. Il Il
strokes it, so men lean to the sweet
breath and voice of tlattery.
"A Sunday-school teacher asked the
class the question: ''What did Simon
say?" .'Thumbs up!'' said little girl.
Gen. Sherman gets S1S, 900 year,
besides the blessed privilege of kissing
the girls 1t is very sweet to be war
rior.
Canada buys more American organs
than any other country, and England
and Scotland take nearly all our oil
cake.
1t is claimed that a new singer can
rise one bar, or about two yards and a
half, higher than any other living tenor.
Howl that do for high?
Strawberries fade with gentle spring,
The ice-cream season passes
But, after all, stern winter brings
Our Buckwheat cakes and lasses
An enterprising dentist hangs out
the alluring holiday announcement:
"Have your teeth pulled out for a
Christmas present. '-Hawh-Eye.
"A novel item in Deputy-Sheriff' s
New York courts the other day, name
ly: ten dollars for anxiety of mind.
A lady doesn't want mud to stain
her dress. And, Judging from the way
she carries her handkerchief, she
doesn't want that to stay'n her pocket.
1t is a Ridgewood On. j. boy who
was found by his companions employed
in a greenhouse, and when asked what
he was doing there, replied: " Learning
to be a dollhouse"
The man who comes to the depot
two minutes behind time, and sees the
railway train scudding out at the other
end, derives no satisfaction from the
proverb: ''Better late than never"
-Friend-'' But why, dear, did you
throw over Percy for Harold?" Dear
e Well, you see, H blends with my
initials and makes such much nicer
monogram"
The bald-headed man is in great
demand to act as judge at baby shows.
We have always maintained that way
would ultimately be found to utilize
Worcester Press.
"A little Florida boy taught an ALI
gator to come to the shore and take
food out of his hand. 1t became so
fond of the boy that one morning it
took the food and the little Florida boy
too.
1--WE had short-cake for tea," said
a little girl to neighbours boy, to
whom she was talking through the
fence. $50 did we," he answered;
every short-so short it didn't 60
round"
"A long report of a trial in the San
Francisco Bulletin contains this paren-
thesis: cat this point in the proceed
ings it was noticed that one of the
jurors was asleep, but no one took the
trouble to awaken him.