Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1878-09-11

Bay windows Nuke good harbors for
little smacks.-Bdt0B Pot.

mosquitoes legs.-ycU Hdten kegssseT.
Song Of the codk-"G Good bye, sweet
tart, good bye."- 8radfotd Breeze.
An of-hand matter-Trying to finger
buzz-saw in mbtion.-C Chicago Nescs.
Young man, inbeginning courtship
he sure you don't write and then 60
ahead.
A young lady has written book call
ed My Lovers 1t begins, of course,
at Chap. 1.
Some people are like green Holsters
they never know when to let 60 when
you shake hands with them.
Nothing makes q baldheaded man so
mad as fly that doesn't know when it
has enough.-B,1hngtosa Hawkeye.
The cool evenings remind us that the
autumn has pooled its issues and the
summer must go."-Lo,0eH Courier.
Miss Miranda Gates, the handsome
and accomplished belle of Niagara, is
said to be a great scold. Beautiful
Gates jawcr- Bu6alo Express.
One paper say that none of the pro-
fessional boatmen can pull sunstroke;
and another responds that that depends
upon the scull.
| Show us the man who never forgot to
mail letter for his sweetheart and we
will show you man who always forgot
to mail one for his wife.
No one has been able to explain why
it is that man feels that he is more
likely to get up In time in the morning
by keeping his watch or clock half an
hour fast.
EYES," said M Irish gentleman at
Long Branch, that lady is very disa-
greeable at table If lived in the same
house with her, Ihe would be the only
one in it, l can tell you"
Ella Mccall the actress, committed
suicide because she heard her lover was
a married man. He has since proven
that he is not Moral: Give fellow a
Camden Post.
If you were to offer ten thousand dol
lars for sewing machine that didn't
take the first premium at the Paris
exposition, we don't suppose you could
get one.-Norriaown Herald.
Said he Matilda you are my dear
est duck" Said she Augustus you
are trying to stuff me-" She was too
sage for him.
This is the season OF the year when
the young man sadly picks the bird
shot out of his legs and declares that
water-melons are unhealthy anyhow.
A clothier has excited public curl
osity by having large apple painted
on his sign. When asked for an ex-
PLANTATION, he feplied: eff it hadn't
been for an apple, where would the
ready-made clothing stores be to-day"
When Bridegroom finds all the clothes
he owns in the world hung one over
the other on hook behind the pantry
door, he realizes for the first time that
the honeymoon is over.
An intelligent and sensitive journal
imparts this bit OF delicate information
to its fourteen millions of readers: "It
is not polite to bite corn from the cob in
the presence OF people who have false
teeth"
A new Duluth, Mimi, ordinance gives
the awful warning that "any COW, of
either sex, hereafter found sporting a
bell or ringing the same within said
limits shall, upon conviction thereof, he
subject to fine or imprisonment, Or both
ut the discretion of the court"
A correspondent of the St. Louis
Globe Democrat tells this story: "An
Irishman, upon his arrival in the United
States, noting the great number of mil
itary titles, exclaimed, "What divil of
a battle has been fought near here,
where all the privates were kilt"
1t was probably a young man from
Middle Haddam who made his first ad-
vent to the metropolis by the midnight
train, and who respectfully asked the
night clerk of the Astor House If it
would be any trouble to Mrs. Astor to
keep him all night. "-Hartford Times.
The Boston Transcript doesn't care a
cent about an Egyptian obelisk: Take
Bunker Hill Monument and give one or
two small boys, equipped with chalk,
access to the whole length and breadth
of its sides, and you will have perfect
representation of the obelisk that Goth
am is signing for
1t is safe to affirm as general propo-
sition that two-thirds of all the miseries
of married life-for married life has its
miseries, though, being divided, they
are not so hard to bear as are the mis-
cries singleness-are traceable direct
. ly or indirectly to the inexplicable but
wholly lneradicable mania on the part
of women Of all conditions and kinds
for making preserves. - Philadelphia
Times.
A bricklayer was one day brought to
the Edinburgh lnfirmary. severely in
liured by Il fall from q hnnsetnn The