Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-06-27

We are glad to learn, even at this
late day, that Thomas Jefferson would
turn aside rather than step on bum
blebee. lie was bareioo' ed when he
thought that way, of course.
Sidney Smith once rebukeL swear
ing visitor by saying, Let us assume
that everything and everybody are
lalnned and proceed with our sub.
ect.
We heard man complain about the
weight Of his baby the other day, and
to our certain knowledge that same
man used to holl the mother Of that
baby in his arms cheerluily honr after
hour after the parents Of said girl had
gone to bed.
A Kansas school ma AIN has intro.
ducel new feature in her school,
When one Of the girls misses word.
the boy who spells it gets permission
to kiss her. AS result the girls are
becoming very poor spoilers while the
boys are improving.
. a lady said that this was the finest
compliment which she had ever re-
ceived She was on horseback, and as
she rode past an Irishman who was
standing by the roadside, she heard
him say, 1 wish | Was in prison for
he stating OF ye.
Women claim they are afraid Of
nothing, but let one tiny, half starved
wasp loose in q bed room, and she'll
upset furniture, pull pillow slip over
her Uranium, and finally leave the
room and lock the wasp in.
Owing to printers error, circu"
lar issued the other day by Mr.. Fred"
erick Vokes, the great dancer was
made to read Il offer my shanks to
all who have favored me with their
patronage.
A way, upon visiting medical nut
scum, was shown some dwarfs and
some specimens of mortality all pre-
served in alcohol. well, said he, 1
never thought the dead could be IN
such spirits.
The following WAS ssht us by q
Mississippi correspondent as matter
of news, but we have a faint suspicion
that it is u little exaggerated Talk
about running vines Why, there $ a
grapevine down here hat runs 80 fsst
people have TO chase the GRAPES on ~
fleet horse in order to be on hand
when they ripon.
IF you don't have music and a
crack preacher, you cant sell the
pows,' remarked Starlight at the end
of long discussion.
well, growIed old Smashpipcs, If
that's your animus, it's what cali
pewse.lanimus. Come take another'
And they went.
This crematins do not approve
Of said thin married lady the other
day to her companion. Fancy being
burned into ashes and put up like
preserves in a jar. Besides, when J.
die, ! want to be able TO come back
and haunt my husband if he ever
marries again.
A man in Bethlehem, Conn, has
had patented a new instrument for
milking COWS. lie is now thinking
about inyonting another Instrument
which will calm the cows nervous
system while the first instrument Is
being adjusted.
It is these New York City papers
that know all about hens. Ore of
them astutely observes, chickens from
hens yc1 on oats are much more Wig
orous and hardy than those fed on
corn. Chickens from oats or even
cockroaches can be fed on almost
anything without inpajrlng their VI
tality. It's their pedigree that keeps
them up.-Danbury News.
~ genius tON u IJuSI |llteii'2 " l'S
ing for d patent for machine which,
he says. ,.w 1on wound up aud in mo-
ton, will chase q hog over ten acre
lot, catch, yoke and ring him or by
a slight change Of gearing it WI chop
him into sausages, work his brlstes
into shoe brushes and manufacture his
tail into a corkscrcw.
Detroit was visited the other day
by committee Of three citizens who
had been appointed by the residents
of aninlana town to come here, examine
a fire steamer and return and report
on the advisbi.ity of purchasing one
lor home protection. Two Of the COM
mittee were greatly pleased with
ther inspection, bns the chairman
hung off. lie argued that the machines
,,o,n foo ha,vv lurna1 foo nurh fu-