The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-05-02
EVERYDAY SPICERIES.

EVERYDAY SPICERIES.
BETTER a dinner with green pea soup
where love is, than cold bologna sausage
and hatred Herewith. ~. l. Nan.
THE agricultural papers are already
discussing small ruit-though il will
be months before there will be cur
rent topic. = Graphic.
No, thank you, we don't need cor
respondent at Paris this year. We pay
a young man in. the Office $16 week to
write European letters. .--&. Lostie Jour
nal
CHILDREN, cultivate first-class moral
characters, and then in after years wher
you tell about this winter, people will
believe you-perhaps- Bridgeport Stan
dard.
EMERSON says: A weed is plant
whose virtues have not yet been discoy-
ered." It is clearly evident that En-
erson doesn't chew the " weed. Nor
ristoacn Herald.
A GIRL being bantered one day by some
of her female friends in regard to her
lover, who had the misfortune to have
but one leg, replied" Pooh, l wouldn't
-Aaye man with two legs they're too
comm on
AT twenty woman reaches for the
trailing arbutus. At twenty-five she Is
after horseradish. At thirty she digs
roots for her blood. Such is gentle spring
in the various stages of the feminine
life.-Danbury Neacs.
SOMEBODY estimated that every man
who lives to be sixty years old has spent
seven months buttoning his shirt col
lar. Thirty years more ought to be
added for hunting up the collar button.
Bridgeport Standard.
WHILE man was eating piece OF
pie at Whitehall restaurant, he found
fault because he discovered piece OF
rusty pike in it. But then, what kind
of pie could he expect without pike
rust r. Whitehdll Times.
TILE earth has been so burrowed into
near Virginia City, that the town is said
to be slowly sliding down the face of
the mountain. The inhabitants boast Of
it as showing that the town isn't stand
ing still.-Noracich Bulletin.
THE wonderful success OF the tele-
phone is all owing to the fact that you
can attach one end of it to the mules
ear and swear at him in seven languages
without running the risk OF getting
kicked. Philadelphia Chronicle.
A PROPHET of the name of Bacon has
been makinga fool of himself In Chau-
tauoua County. The people propose to
frizzle him if he don't git up and git.
He was rash man BEFORE but, If he
remains, he will be a rasher.--Ne0 York
Commercial
In an interview printed in another
column, Gen. Shields is said to weigh
one hundred and fifty pounds. He
doesn't look to weigh over one hundred
and twenty, but he carries 80 much
lead that his appearance is deceiving.-
Washington Post.
AT twenty you know everything, at
thirty you have your doubts, at forty
there are some things you don't know,
at fifty YOU are sure of your ignorance,
and after that you read Mr.. Beecher's
sermon ON everlasting punishment and
hope he is right.-Boston Courier.
Away down deep in Jesse Pomeroy's
hardened heart is faint glimmer CT hope
that he will some day be pardoned and
have chance to retaliate on tie editors
who have shown up his atrocities: 1t is
said that he employs good deal OF his
solitude in writing poetry. His sentence
was just.-Breakfast Table.
AN Irish gentleman, well-kpc-
the sporting circles for his -~dn In
costed by frierp = w1s, IVA, was ac-
word -. : .-4au Will pun ~
/" An1 you are riding good horse. .
i, - why should I not ride q good
!. morse p' "Well," rejoined his friend,
"but, will he jump timberl' climber r.
, replied the other. Faith, he'll Just
jump over your head, man, in jifeyP'
, GENERAL GRANTS visit was sue
cess with the Turks at least. They like
a silent man. The less man says, in
, their estimation, the wiser he is. BIZ
Adam choE dkelle," Ia very wise many,
said Pasha to me when speaking Of
Grant. "Did he say anything to you n
"Not word, but he looked wise"
, Foreign Letter.
: In the still watches of the night it il
easy enough to fancy that one hears ths
soft whispers Of angels telling him to b
t coed; but Jump out of bed and you'll
, find it is the hired girl talking from ths
window to her fellow below-perhap
: telling him why the Monday washing
was brought in, contrary to agree
: ment.-Detroit Free Press.
WE learn that as soon as the countr,
becomes quieter DIR. Schliemann will re
/ sumo his excavations at Hassarlik. w,
{ can assure the doctor that the countr,
will not be any quieter until after house
. cleaning time. But il he wants a jol
i in the meantime, he can drop aroun,
and dig out cellar for us. Wages
$3.50 day and find himself. Dali
e Derrick.
On, pshawl Do you know it has jus
8 been discovered that after all saltpete
: is nothing but nitrogen oxidised int
s nitric acid, and that Xylopilin is tn
: substance which gives the violent sbad
n to certain vegetable matters when the.
O are brought into contact with hydro
!. chloric acid? 1t is terrible, the wa,
d heartless, bloodless, pitiless science de
e stroys with iconoclastic hand, the bright
a est dreams and fondest fancies of 70
o mance.-Burdettes Hasokeye.
l. THE cucumber graceth the festal board
AL Enshrouded in condiments rare,
u And the epicure gleefully ruabeth his paunch
d At the sight Of the treasure there.
r The doctor smileth q sad-like smile
!, And giveth crocodile grcan,
And the marble man goeth out the while
d And polisheth up stone.
n The undertaken mournfully asks,
"What will his measure bet
And the sexton marketh q spot reserved" "
If All under the willow tree
IT'S hard the times and tbs scarce the cash
l. And 50 with zestful Joy
g. We welcome watt to the ftful fruit
II That giveth the folk employ.