The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-10-31
PASSING SMILES.


who was too sore, after thrashing, to
sit down In comfort.
Poor fellow He died "wern out BY
too severe mental effort in the study of
how to live without work"
You may talk about the lean and
hungry Cassius," but did you ever take
side view of the man who has run q
store ten years without advertising?
SHE saw morning mosquito on the
cream-white paper of the bedroom, and
crushed him then and there. But she
didn't know he was loaded.-Stan,ford
Adrocate.
MEN may come and men may 90. but
we want to see the man who will come
to town in a two-horse wagon, and not
go to crossing to stop his team
Brookrike Democrat.
AN old hat that once belonged to Ma
poleon l, was recently sold for thirty
five dollars, which is good price, Ger.
tainly, when we consider that both the
Nap. and crown are gone.
EDITORS like brevity, but man who
was recently hung in Indiana suited
them too we'll. He made no remarks
about heaven, but nodded at the preacher
and said, "Fll see you LATER and the
trap fell.
IT is left for futurity to produce two
men who have sufficient Christian grace
to occupy different offices on the second
floor of building, and then not wait
for each other to sweep the stairs
Fulton 7iaaeS,
No man can know all things, but there
are lots of men who think they do.
They are the fellows who give an editor
so much valuable information as to how
to run a newspaper-into the ground
Renneburak Star.
A CHICAGO publisher has issued a
book entitled " How to Become Plump"
The old way, you remember, was to fall
out of a third-story window and come
| down plump. The new method is less
dangerous, but not so certain.
/ THE forest leaves are turning, and
/ the chestnut worms are squirming, as
! the peanut man stands churning them
/ upon fiery bed; and books will soon
! be laden, by every city maiden, with
| leaves which nature made on purpose to
be red Wheeling Leader.
He was something of cynic, and
when he visited the grave of his rich,
but henpecked friend, a few weeks
after the burial, and found there a he
roic-sized female figure in marble as a
monument, he cried out: "Poor, pool
fellow!-ss though it was not enough in
life, here he is held down by a woman
in death!''
You need not be afraid of giving toe
much. An old darkey said eff any oil
you know OBJ any church wat died OF
liberalitv. ies tell me whar it is, an
will take pilgrimage to it, an by DE-
light OBJ de pale moon | will crawl upor
its moss-covered roof an write upon dt
topmost shingle, Blessed am de deat
who die in de Lord"
A CLEVER Tuscaroran was tried al
Elko, Nevada, for cattle stealing. The
jury acquitted him without leaving thu
box, and upon his return home frieno
inquired as to the result of the trial
"No cause of action" said the party
"I merely killed the OK in self-defense
and ate him for spite, and, of course,
was acquitted by the intelligent jury
IT not unfrequently happens, in thi
world of mistakes and thoughtlessness
that a man, even the best of men, ma,
once or twice during long or otherwis
faultless life, kiss his hired girl by mis-
take for his wife. But no man, of age
past or of to-day, was ever known +
kiss his wife under the erroneous i'm
preston that she was the hired girl
Burlington Hankeye.
LINK can be preserved from mold b,
putting a Glove in the bottle" Whel
Mrs. Spriggins, wife of Spriggins, of tn
Morning Auakener, read the above, sh
cried excitedly: "There! now / kno,
what Mr.. 8. always carries cloves in hi
suspecting soul looked as pleased as
she had just heard Of new way Of put
ting up blackberries.
4 PRAYER-MEETING was in progres
in the church in Mount Vernon, Ind
and political procession, mistakin
tho lighted edifce for the hall in whic
mass-meeting was to be held, marche
in with banners flying, to the musi
of full band, and gave three cheers fo
its candidate. The clergyman invite
the politicians to remain for thei
souls sake" but they declined.
, EDISON says it is periodical rathe
than continuous noise that wears upo
; the brain. Correct! We can stand th
[ splash of waves, the jingle of cars, th
S hum Of voices, and the sounds of rurs
: life, but, oh! deliver us from the voun
e man who plays the flute and the wei
S meaning but unhappy female across Il
D way who wants to be "a merry, merr
f zingra. ."-Neo0 York Commercial Adre
). Hser.
/, ANY shortcomings in this paper al
/ to be charged to our liver. Our liver h
e come down on us like q mother-in .la0
o 1t has whooped it up to us like one
e the boys out of sight of the police.
d the silent watches of the night we ari
), and wrestle with it, and cannot prevail
: Some patent medicine advertiser say
) Liver is king He is mighty righ
n Ourliver is four kings and an ace.-Si
,Cdter Lumbermasa.
: WE are glad the circus season is abo
y over. For some time past we have e
1t delinquent tax list on the first page, Il
n proceedings of the board of supervise
r, on the second and third, and circus a
e vertisement on the fourth; but it's g
l. ting to be a little monotonous, and
Is are pleased now to find on the four
Ks page notice of new liver pill, s;
p Of blooded stock, and thanks for pc
|; of apples-HaWkeye.
N Farm Life.
ze 1t is a common complaint that I
as farm and farm life are not appreciat
A. by our people. We long for the MI