The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-08-15

| Thanks mainly to a certain MetiS or half
breed in the service of the Hudson Bay
Company, Sioux warrior was found
guilty of stealing Il horse, and con-
demned to pay the animals value by in
stallments, at one of the Company's forts,
On paying the last installment, he re-
ceived his quittance from the man who
had brought him to justice, and left the
office. A few moments later the Sioux
returned, advanced on his noiseless moe
casins within a space of the writing-ta-
BILE, and levelled his musket full at the
| half breeds head. Just AS the trigger
was pulled, the Metis raised the hand
with which he was writing and touched
| lightly the muZzle of the gun; the shot
passed over his head, but his hair WAS
siuged off in broad mass. The smoke
clearing away, the Indian was amazed to
see his enemy still lived. The other
looked him full in the eyes for an in
slant, and quietly resumed his writing.
The Indian silently departed unpursued ;
those who would have given chase being
stopped by the halt-breed with; $50
back to your dinner, ana leave the allalr
to me-
When evening came, few whites, Gu
rious to see how the matter would end,
accompanied the Metis to the Sioux en-
campment. At certain distance he
babe them wait, end advanced alone to
the Indian tents. Before one of these
sat crouched the batlled savage, singing
his own death hymn to the tom'tom. He
complained that he must now say good
by to wife and child, to the sunlight, to
his gun and the chase. He told his
friends in the spirit land to expect him
that night, when he would bring them all
the news of their tribe. He swung his
body backwards and forwards as he
chanted his strange song, but never once
looked up-not even when his foe spurned
him with his foot. He only sang on and
awaited his fate. Then the halt-breed
bent his head and spat down on the
crouching Sioux, and turned leisurely
away-a crucler revenge than if he had
shot him dead
1t is not given to every one to play the
philosopher, and accept Fortunes bullets
and favors with equal placidity. Hora-
tics are scarce; but there are plenty of
people capable Of acting like Spartans
where the trouble does not touch their in
dividuality.
How can get out Of this2' asked an
Englisman, up to his armpits in a Scotch
bog, of passer-by. 81 dinner think ye
can get out of it." was the response of
the Highlander, as he went on his way
Mistress of herself was the spouse OF
the old gentleman who contrived to tum-
Die off the ferry boat into the Mississippi,
and was encouraged to struggle for dear
life by his better half shouting: "There,
Samuel, didn't tell you sol Now, then,
work your legs, flap your arms, hold your
breath, and repeat the Lords Prayer; for
its mighty onsartin, Samuel, whether you
land in NIcksburg or eternity
Thoroughly oblivious of court manners
was the rcd-cloaked old Kentish dame
who found her way into the tent occu-
pied 10y Queen Charlotte, at a Volunteer
review held shortly after her coming to
Eng gland, and, after staring at the royal
lady, with her arms akimbo, observed Z;
"We!l she's not so ugly as they told me
she was.' compliment the astOnished
queen grately accepted, saying: "Well,
my good woman, am very glad Of that"
Probably Her Majesty forgave her critics
rudeness as the outcome OF rustic ignor-
ance and simplicity.
There Is no cooler man than your SIM
pie fellow. While Gen. Thomas was in
speeding the Notifications of Chattanoo-
"a with Gen. Garfield, they heard some
one shout: "IIcllo, mister. You! | want
/ t. speak to you.' Gen. Thomas, turning,
found he was the "mister" so politely
hailed by an east Tennessean soldier.
"Well, my man, said he, what do
you want with NEE
Il want to get a furlough, mister,
that's what want was the reply.
"Why Go you want furlough, my
man, inquired the general.
oval, want to 90 home and see my
wife"
How long is it since you saw herr"
Ever since | enlisted, nigh onto three
months"
Three months" exclaimed the asst N
/ ished commander. why, my good fell
low, have not seen my wife for three
years.
/ The Tennessean looked incredulous,
and drawled out: "Wall, you see, me and
my wife amt that sort"
! The Postmaster General of the United
States once received an odd official com
muuication. The Raeborn postmaster,
I new to his duties. writing to his superior
officer; Seeing, by the regulations, that
| am requested to send you letter of adj
vice, must plead in excuse that have
been postmaster but short time; but
will say ifyour office pays no better than
mine, advise you to give it up" To this
/ day, that Postm 4ster- General has not de-