davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-05-16
Beautiful Things in London

LONDON Letter IN Cincinnati Epcuirer
But attend Queens drawing.roorn
once; there you'll see dress, and above
all, diamonds that will astonish Won
Perhaps it Is not generally known that
the wonderful necklace of Marie An.
tslnette, that unsurpassed historic mass
OF glltterlng splendor which was so
costly that it brought about the over
throw OF dynasty, sent Marie Antoi-
nette and the King, as well as countless
others, to the scaffold, and let loose a
revolution. with all its horrors, is now
IN the possession of two or three great
English families, the gems unset and
remounted into necklaces and bracelets
ana haras which figure now at the
generality oftheQueen's drawing-rooms
The bulk of Empress Eugenie's gorge
Gus jewels were bought by English wo-
mel; so will be those of the Oneen
Dowager of Spain, when the sale of her
gems takes place in Paris next month
The other night Lady Cork gave fancy
dress ball-a calico ball. as they call
this kind now, and Miss Stevens, of New
York, appeared as an Indian squaw, her
dress, though composed of calico, being
decorated with hundreds of feathers Of
the costllest kind procurable. Lady
Vaudeville, formerly of Fifth avenue.
Went as an Indian girl, anything but a
simple costume, and wore her fine long
har hanging straight down her back.
The Princess of Wales wore Pompa-
pour in calico, but was resplendent with
thousands and thousands of pounds
worth of diamonds and pearls. The
town is full just now of lovely things.
which will be on exhibition here till
Easter Monday, when they must be sent
to Paris for the opening day. Among
others is a complete set of china-din-
ner, dessert, tea and breakfast-the
finest ever made in England. The best
judges declare the coloring to be indis-
from Sevres blue, while
the landscapes on the dessert plates are
perfection. Let the cost of the whole
tell the rest-more than that really the
figure is 1000 guineas. 1t is for an
Australian millionaire; one who was
eft e7 100000 by, his father. The tea
service so charmed the Queen that she
ordered n duplicate.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-05-16
Manufacturing Soldiers Ont of Boys.

The London Times advocates eniisting
boys of IA to 16 years, and keeping
them In a training school until they
shall have attained sufficient strength
and knowledge of their duties to render
them fit to take their places in the
ranks, appears worthy of serious con-
sideration. Says the PaN-lNoH Gazette ::
& AT the present time, some 5000 boys
are being trained for the navy, and by
far the greater number of the sailors
who now man our men-of-war originally
entered the naval service as boys. The
plan of enlisting boys having, therefore,
answered so well in one service, the
question naturally suggests itself, Why
should not some similar system be
adopted, or at all events be tried. in the
other? At the age of 20, laboring
man has, as it was stated by Mr.. Hardy
in the House of Commons three years
ago, settled down to a particular work;
and, if he is a good man, Of steady
character, he is not likely to be induced
to leave his occupation to enter the
army. On the other hand, parents
are often very much perplexed to
know what to do with lad of Is
VI 10, anu the chairman OF the
industrial school committee, in paper
read at the United Service Institution
in April, 1875, estimates, after COM
municating on the subject with various
responsible authorities, that certainly
5000 lads could be obtained every
year from the industrial schools, work
house union schools, and voluntary
refugees for boys, fit and willing to be
trained and enlist InGermany anoth-
er large school has been lately added to
the establishments already existing for
training boys for the army; and the
authorities, it is well known, depend
largely upon the latter for the neces-
sary supply of non-commissioned
officers for their forces. In England,
also, the difficulty of obtaining an ade-
quate number of properly-qualifed
men for the subordinate grades in the
army is VIGOROUSLY increasing year by
year; and this affords another cogent
argument in favor of, at all events,
giving the plan Of enlisting boys fair
trial. The cost of making the expert
ment would be but trifing."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-05-16
Give the West n Chance.

1t seems that, in the distribution of
clerkships in Washington, Illinois is
far below her quota. She is entitled to
$50 places, and has but 231, being short
159; whereas Maryland has 149 places
in excess Of her quota, and Maine has
81 too many, and several other states
are over-provided. The western states
appear to be all short of their proper
ton under the law. Indiana is def
cient by 113, Iowa by 60, Michigan by
43, and Wisconsin by 40. 1t seems to
US that it would be a proper and pious
thing for the congressman of those
western states to get up on their ears F."
about it, even if the surplus clerks of
My Maryland and Jim Blaine's state
were discharged There is honor, it is
said, even among thieves. But there
has been neither honor nor fair dealing
in tt e apportionment of the Washington
clerkships. 1t is about time this thing
was corrected. Reform is necessary,
Chicago Tribune.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-05-16
The Big Mu idy.''
Burlington Hawkeye.

The dust blows out Of the Missouri
river. 1t is the only river in the world
where the dust blows in great columns
out of the river bed. The catfish come
up to the surface to sneeze. From the
great understanding sandbars ON the
Kansas shore great columns of dust and
sand, about 1000 feet high, come whirl-
ing and sweeping across the river and
hide the town, and sweep through the
train and make everything so dry and
gritty that man can light match on
the roof his mouth. The Missouri
is composed of six parts of sand and
mud and four parts of water. When
the wind blows very hard it dries the
surface of the river and blows it away
in clouds of dust. 1t is just dreadful.
The natural color of the river is seal
brown, but when it rains for two or
three days at a time and gets the river
pretty wet, it changes to heavy iron
gray. A long rain will make the river
so thin it can easily be poured from one
vessel into another, like a cocktail
When it is ordinarily dry, however, it
has to be stirred with stick, before you
can pour it out of anything. 1t has a
current of about twenty-nine miles an
hour, and perhaps the largest acreage
of sand-bars to the square inch that was
ever planted. Steamboats, run down the
Missouri river. So do newspaper cor
respondents. But if the river is not fair
to look upon, there is some of the grand
est country on either side of it the sun
ever shown upon. How such a ri.er
come to run through such paradise is
more than [ can understand. -
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-05-16
Another Senator on a Drunk.

Washington Letter to Burlington (Vt.) Free Press
Last night while riding on an F-street
car, your correspondent was edited by
a conversation between a statesman and
a car-driver. As the car passed the
Ebbitt House it was boarded by dis
tngue military senator. The senator
was, to all appearances, in a state Of
exhilaration, from. what good society
calls good living, but what Mr.. Murphy
calls by another name, and, from sent
ences muttered indistinctly, with eyes
half closed, it was inferred that he was
thinking of what he had recently done
or had yet to do, in the cause of educa-
ton. Suddenly, from lurch of the car,
turning corner, Or from a gesture de-
liyered In half-dreamy oratory, his mil
itary elbow went through the glass win
dow. shattering it into small pieces.
The driver, who is also conductor on
this line, approached him with great
politeness, and said: 81 don't know but
[ may be to blame for this accident, but
L don't think was, and then the COM
pany will deduct half-dollar from my
wages If was to blame, of course,
must lose the money" "Of course you
Were, SAID the senator, but little later,
under magnanimous impulse, he drew
from his pocket 25 cents of the remone-
TIED, and extending it to the driver,
said. "D-n it, suppose we divide, that's
all the money I've got" The driver re-
luctantly accepted the compromise,
when the senator called after him, " I'll
pay you the rest when come this way
again, and resigned himself to the fol-
lowing soliloquy: Ride on these cars
three times day; guess I'll take car
rage after this" Then to the driver:
"Oh! You will know me; you Will see
me when you come 10 the capitol; you
will find me on the floor; guess you will
recognize my face, and getting off at
the Arlington Hotel" Recognize my
face, will you? Well, just take a keen
look at these whiskers, you will recog-
nize me again, [ guess 4
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-05-16
LOST LOTE.
rsan Francisco News letter.

Isan Francisco News letter.
The heart of the simplest woman
Is mystery uErevealed.
And the love that seems transparent
Is most hopelessly concealed.
We care not for love while we have it,
We know not of love till It's lost;
We scatter its treasures broadhanded
Nor reckon the ultimate cost.
Lo! hand comes forth from the shadows
A touch that / knew of old
That could crown the gloomiest faDcies
With an aureole of gold;
And think how that hand so loving,
That craved but to lie in mine,
Oft met an impatient gesture,
Or found no responsive sign.
And from yonder painted canvas
l catch the old, wistful look,
So timidly, mutely jealous
OF the love that gave my book;
And only too well remember
How chafed at the dumb reprOach,
And swoTe that no thought OF woman
Should on my studies eDcrOach.
Was l blind, or mad. or but heartlessI
The face ard the hand are gone,
The light of my life has vanished,
/ am utterly alone.
The brain that her glances kindled
Is blighted anG dead and chilled,
And the gorgeous dreams of the future
Can never more be fulfilled.
| loved as man who is selfish,
She loved in a woman's way;
And mans love compared with woman
Is darkness unto day.
As spendthrift scattcrs his birthright,
| wasted the dover she gave,
And too late find my ambition
Has followed her into the grave.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-05-16
A TRANQUIL Nervous system

Can never be possessed by those whose diges-
tive and assimilatiye organs are in a state of
chronic disorder. Weak stomachs make weak
nerves. To restore vigor and quietude to the lat
ter, the first must be invigorated and regulated.
The ordinary sedatiyes may tranquiIize the nerves
for while. but they can never, like Hostetters
Stomach Bitters, remove the causes Of nervous
debility. That superb invigorant and corrective
of disordered conditions of the aIimentary or
gans has also the effect ofimparting tone to The
nerves. The delicate tissues of which they are
constituted when weakened in consequence of
impoVerishment of the blood, resulting from i'm
perfect digestion and assimilation. draw strength
from the fund of vitality developed in the system
by the Bltters, which imparts the required i'm
petns to the nutritive functions of the stomach,
enrches the circulation, and gives tone and regu-
larltY to the secretive and evacuative organs
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-05-16
The Transit Of Mercury.
New York Word May 9th.

In 1856 NJ. Leverrier. whose discovery
of the planet Neptune at particular
point IN the heavens at particular day
and hour is one of the greatest triumphs
of mathematics, announced to the
French Academy that Mercury was
moving at a rate which could be ex-
planned only on the supposition that
there is a planet yet nearer to the sun.
That planet, about the existence of which
there is as yet much doubt, though the
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-05-16

WHEN a boy throws stone his arm
moves in plane parallel with the plane
OF his waistband. When a girl under
takes like feat, her arm is first held
upright in line with her major axis
and then moved rapidly in a downward
direction. The stone thrown by the
boy has an enormous range, and strikes
the window, the cat, the old gentleman
or other object at which it is aimed, al
surprising long distance. The stone
which the girl attempts to throw de-
scribes brief arc and descends to the
ground few yards in front of her
LOUISVILLE C01yie7-JOu7ndl.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-05-16

FORTUNES in Florida from orange
growing are made as easily, on paper,
as cities are built by companies on
suburban farms. A Mr.. Dewhurst thus
glowingly calculates what his income
will be: He has a 470-acre farm al
Piney Point, and has just planted it
with eighty-four quarts of orange seed,
which are expected to produce 10000
trees. If they bear 5000 oranges each
annually, he will have 2,100. 100000
oranges, which, at the low price of 2
cents each, would give an income of
S42.000,000.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-05-16
HuIllOr.

You cannot always tell by the way Il
person dresses whether his pew is paid
for a.a- :.
Old Nebuchadnezzer was no lover of
card-playing. The good book SAYS he
came down tat-footed on all fours."
A Dutchman being informed that a
certain painting was by Bierstadt, in
quired, " Who's beers dat?"
Why is it that a person, after reading
the medical advertisements in news
paper, involuntarily chances at the col
umn Of deaths Puck
"Can any one in the school tell me
why a ship is called she? asked a
teacher in Il suburban school the other
day. Because she is rugged up" an
swered smart boy in the back row.
A young lady rebukingly asks us:
" (Which is worse, to lace tight or to get
tight ?" We give it up-we never laced
-EEn,ira Gazette.
1t is said that a large share of reputed
Japanese articles are manufactured
in this country. Thus is Japan ruined
by American cheap labor.-Danbuy
Ne,rs.
The photograph is like the small
brother of a young lady. 1t will repeat
everything said in its presence without
regad to blushes.-Breaktast Table.
A female gatekeeper ON the National
pike has. been removed for dead-head-
ing her sweetheart. She never TOLD
her love. Cincinnati Saturday Night.
The Oil City Derrick believes it was
Shakespeare who wrote: r
"ImperiOusCeSar dead and turned to Henry Clay
Might stop hole to keep the wind away
"This is the maiden all foriorn," who
often wished she had ne'er been born,
and turned up her nose III petulant
scorn at the girl who last seasons hat
had worn.-NeW York Neus.
The Cincinnati Enquirer gives an Es-
say on Man," in one canto, as follows:
Mans a vapor.
Full of woes
Starts a paper,
Up he goes.
Irate passenger" Driver, why in
thunder don't you whip up your horses?"
Driver" Well, you see, sir, my dogs
gettin' fat, and he's follerin' behind. Elk
ercise does him good, but ifI drive too
fast he cannot keep up with us. "-Puck.
Order received by rustic dentist,
which says: my mouth is three inches
across, fve-eight inches through the
jaw. Sum humokv on the edge. Shaped
like a hoss-shew, toe forrard. IF you
want me to be more partikler, | shall
have to cum thar" ..-s
A country girl wrote letter to her
lover: Now, George, don't you fale to
be at the singing school tonight.
George wrote back that in the bright
lexicon of youth-Webster's Unabridged
there's no such word as fale.'
The early strawberry at 81 a quart
puts on aristocratic airs, and looks with
scorn and contempt upon hungry hui
mainly. By July he will get down from
his eminence and hide himself between
the strata of 15-cent saleratus short
cake. and howl for customer.-Puck
Bob Ingersoll asked preacher wether
the fatted calfwas male or female. " Fe-
male of corse," replied the preacher,
" for / am now talking to the male"
which was considered an excellent sell
ON the wicked Bob.
Maine husbands come trick on talk-
alive wives. A man tells his wife he
is going to ACKNOWLEDGMENT
tongo fishing. He then requests all
his friends to call at his house and in
quire his whereabouts. When he re-
turns the poor woman is exhausted and
doesn't speak again for month.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-05-16

IT VANIsHErH AwAY.-Do all our
readers understand that the genuine
Chemical Saleratus made by d. B. DeLand
u Co, is never eaten. In the process of
baking it all evaporates, leaving the
bread light and pure. 1t has been inn
ltated, but the counterfeit is not easily
disposed of. Use it instead of Soda or
Baking Powder.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-05-16

PHILADELPHIA capitalists are arrang-
ing to construct pipe lines from the oil
regions to the seabord.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-05-16

SAN FRANCISCO is thinking of organ
lzlng free public library which shall
absorb all the other libraries in the CITY,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-05-16

SWITZERLAND is suffering greatly from
business depression.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-05-16
A Deaf Mans MuSin
New York World.


Words confuse ideas; use as few as
possible.
There is discount on the most per-
feet happiness.
The blush of maiden is natures
signal of warming.
Not one man in thousand marries
the girl he most wanted.
The devil is always ready to give ad-
vice, but he exacts high fees.
There are many moral people whose
virtues somehow seem to be a misfit.
Discomfort is vital element of civ
ilization; without it there would be no
progress.
The quiet fellow in the corner who
lets his revivals do all the talking gener-
ally marries the girl.
Every man coming to an obscure old
age thinks he would have achieved
wealth and distinction if
Let young men be patient in their
wooing, for a maiden's love may be
cold on her lips yet warna in her heart.
If Immediately the cock crew
every time a man lied in these latter
days, what din there would be.
In the quiet of the early morning we
should laden our hearts with kindness
and good will for use during the day.
THE Alpena, Mich, lumbermen say
they have $4,000, 900 feet of logs banked.
1t is said that of the 11S,000, 900 feet of
logs cut upon the Au Sable river, the
past winter, not more than 100000 900
feet have been banked, ard of these it
is doubtful about their being able to run
out above 100000 or 100000 feet.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1878-03-08
wiId Mon.

In tho Island VI Rio there nro wild
men who live in trees and have no
language but cries; aud In Snmatra,
the residents OF palemhang said there
were men who lived In tho forests,
with whom not only tho Europeans,
but the Malays could have no inter-
course. He himself had never seen
one. Yet, strange TO say, they have u
petty traffic with the outer world, yet
not through the medium OF speech.
They live In the woods and live by
the chase. They hunt tigers, not with
the gun, but with arrows, which they
blow out OF tube with such force, and
which are 20 keen OF point, and
touched with such deadly poison,
that II wound Ia almost i'm mediately
fatal.
These tiger sklns or elephant tusks
they bring for barter-no for sale
for they never sell anything, for
money IL about the lost useless thing
they can have. They cannot ent, or
drink II or wear ii But M they have
wants. they exchange; yet they them.
selves are never seen. They bring
what they have TO the edge OF the for
rest, and leave II there, and the Ma
lays come and place what they have
to dispose OF and retire. IL the offer Ia
satisfactory, when they return again
they find what they have brought
gone, and take what Is left and depart.
II not, they add few triiles more to
tempt the eyes Of these wild men OF
the woods, and so at last the exchange
is effected, get all the while the sci.
lers keep themselves invisible.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1878-03-08
VINO Lorru the E,rn, Cent. /.

New York Graphic: Seventy OF
eighty papers have come TO hand this
week inqulring, in II pathetic voice,
who II Is that loses the eight cents
when laboring man takes u ninety
two cent silver piece for u dollar. Now,
this ia the very thing that has puzzled
us. If carpenter receives from the
government u ninety'two cent silver
piece for dollar and passes II upon
his butcher for u dollar, aud the
butcher passes IL upon the shoemaker
for u dollar, and the shoemaker passes
IL upon his landlord for dollar, and
the landlord passes II for dollar upon
the state for taxes, and the state
passes 1t for q dollar upon u mason
Tor work on the new state-house,
and the mason passes 1t for "A
dollar to u merchant for silk
dress for his wife, ana the merchant
passes II for dollar to the custom-
house officer for import duties, and the
United States treasury passes II as a
dollar to u soldier, and the soldier
passes it AS a dollar to the same car
pehter hereinbctore previously mem
toned, we are unable to see who has
lost the eight cents. Happy thought
perhaps the loss fell on some man
who did not get 1t Seriously, the
same man who lost the eight cents
who loses sixteen cents everyItime ho
takes four silver quarters, that have
only eignty-f0ur cents worth OF silver
in them. But, even then, the five-
cent nickels puzzles US. In dol
lars worth of these there is
only nineteen cents' worth OF
metal. Now will some OF the
editors who lie awake nights to figure
such things out please to inform us
who 1t is that looses the eighty-oDe
cents every time q dollars worth OF
nickels ia passed? Who loses foui
cents every time five cent piece IL
paid for glass Of lager or car rider
The little copper cents are even a
greater robbery. We have not the
heart to go into a calculation as to how
many million dollars are wrung irons
the horny. handed bondholder every
day In the passage Of this debased
cent, but 1t Is inconceivable how nm
opponent of the Bland bill can pass
one OF these fraudulent tokens--even
at distance--wi without blushing fol-
the perfidy OF his race.