The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1878-08-20
FOR THE BALD HEADS.

--Amercan beef ami american g,ri,. both look
ing f'r market. cross the ocean by every steamer.
/ The Young s.il.> nj Vas-ar are not sllowe.i TO
have pets within the college other than the r-guisr
professors
II like Ia make >p"n2c-rake.' she said. jnno-
Gently: 1t makes my h.n.is 80 DECENTRALIZATION
Transcript
"A h~pin9 doctor sacrificed the life of y very
thin patient by telling her that . certain food
would make her 9TH thick"
How greedy YOU ar.''' SAID on. little CIR, To
another. Who had tsk.n the best apple Iva tho
dish, ws> going 10 take that
An English paper states tina, '.wom~n are too
much inclined To- touzlr the hair,"a sentiment
that most married men will iu.is r>c.
Perfectly mag" Is the cultured Boston girl =
synonym for Quite toe, awful sweet The Be>-
ton giri doesn't waste her words.
--Sh~ WA. plump and b-auiiful, and he was
Wildly fond of her: she hated HIM, b,it, woman
like, she s,rove ." catch him. He WAS flea.
Whenever Young la.iies learn so To stick pm
IN their spr"n-.trrng that ia wont scratch Iei
lows wrist. there will be more marriages.
The Boston servan, girl esrrles a roll of music
IN her hand she goes out walk aud thousand,
Of people take her ." be an opera singer
The girls ct Tuscola. H.. place a blue ribbon
and a mit;sn ON he table when their lovers come
to- Visit ihein, and say, Choose"
The woman who can dress better than her
ne'ght"rs will always be willing ." defend them
from asper~ions amt forgive what they may say
about her.
No manufacturer has ssNyed the problem why
twelve inches sir comfortably on one side of =
'-ar while the four women on the other are
Obliged To crowd.
BIB. lid YOU ever see Mis-, Simpkins
"Nc." replied Boh. "Row q" you knOw she r.
handsome, them 'Becxuse the Women are
"iSays running her down
--"I,exr me-" said good old la.iy who was un-
able To keep up with her work. 81 shall be- glad
when get into eternity, 80 ~ To have plenty ot
time for every thng.
-"suppo>e should work myself up to the in-
terro2at,on point" said - bean To- his sweetheart.
II should RESPOND with IN exclamation. WAS the
prompt reply.
A Springfield woman, who Wa recently male
a widow, told her husband in his last Sr.,t"s, Il
her scheme for his successor. ,,v A.
prevail The next wedding II to take place before
the hes.
An old lady from the south said she never
could imagine where all the Smiths came from
nj she SAW in New England town a large sign:
| 'Smirh Manufacturing Company
And they we're nj! talking so unlxin.ily ofyou,
dearest Louisa, and" "And what they say
ing ," "saying that you painted your face and
tod them that u was untrue. and that Your color
was only erysipeias.'
A young lady in Sacramento became raving
maniac through taking arsenic to bsautify her
complexion. IL is sur,ni-ed that she Was some
thing OF . lnnatie before she began to use 10.
A widow said to her daughter: "when
You are my age u will b. tine tai enough to dream
Of husband ''Yes. mamrna." replied the
thoughsess beauty, for q second nme.''
Susan h Anthony has declares her Willingness
Ia accept any part in the country which will scepI
her. and the three or four other old MAIDS with
gisnlet enris are holding their hack.
Miss Mary Ellen Chase surely dill no, mean il
when she ~sd that 1here will he three women To-
"ne man in heaven. hecause two ont of the three
women wouldn't accept heaven those terms.
The daughter Of q prominent grocer
walking the beach at Brighton. when she
marked To her companion that when she Was
| walking ON sand she felt rs u she were walking
sugar.
The next invention Ellison is to sttempt ~
machine that will keep woInan's eyes clo>e,
during prayer time in church when friend in the
pew: jim front Of her has n frock.
Two ladies' created sensation at the Eion
and Harrow cricket match At LONDON forth ighs
ago by walking about in white satin costumes.
covered with white lace. the short peftbcoafs
revealing intensely black silk stockings.
-aMlatnre Phryne was making herself eonsps.
nous At the opera by talking loudly TO the two
young men Why asr"m panied her. "What . bat
example, thar woman IL giving her sons said
\ stsye whisper spectator in adjoining bo \.
No further disturbance frOm that source