The Osceola times., 1878-06-08

Yo1 will ck q man across ten acre lot
By the lift Of your foot when its heated red hot!
Far worse than the candidases bu ssing 10 me
Was the petulans buss Of boy hating bee;
Appalling TO men and 10 RODS was the sight
When bare booted boy got a bnmbls-bee ME-.
e-lBurlngton Havksye.
THERE is but one thing that II sure
here on earth, and that is death.
BELIEVE not i'll Of brother till II ia
proved beyond doubt.
ALL sorrows and Joys are but tempo.
rary, so aim higher than them.
An Irish agricultu raj journal adver.
tises q new wsshing.a achine under the
woman" and In Its culinary department
says that potatoes should always be
boiled in cold water"
"THERE Is no truth In men," said q
lady in company; "they are like mu-
sical instruments. which sound varsity
Of tones." "In other words, madame
said wit who chanced to be present,
"you believe all men are lyres."
| A LADY said that this was the finest
compliment which she had ever received:
She was on horseback, and ~ she rode
past an Irishmau who Was standing BY
the roadside she heard him say, "I wisht
/ was in prison for the staling ov ye."
AN old scotchman, on marrying q
very young wife, was rallied BY his
friends on the inequality OF their ages.
She will be near me" he replied, TO
close my Gen." Weel." remarked
another Of the party, "Pve had twa
wives, aud they opened my een!"
THREE little boys on a recent Sabbath
were stopped on street In this city by
an elderly gentleman, who perceived
that they had bats and ball with them.
asked one OF the number this question
Boys, can you tell me where all naughty
boys 70 who play ball upon sunday Z"
"Over back OF Johnson's dam |" the
youngster replied.
al SHOULDN'T think there would be
such word AZ breakfast" remarked
a young liDguist TO his mother. the other
morning. why not, dear!" asked
she. because, ma" replied the boy,
ait amt natural; things never break
fast, they break loose" There was nd
bewilderment OF expression In the face
of that mother, as she gazed speechlessly
upon her precious son.
WE read, with feelings OF horror, that
ladies who do not know how to bake
bread are Learning how TO make terra
Gotta orpaments." This Is shocking, but
4. may also be recorded that gentlemen
| who do not know how to smoke ham
are learning to smoke cigars and mser-
schaums, all over the csuntry, and have
been doing 90 ever since 1t was settled.
Whittier are We drifting:
A DISPUTE about precedence enos arose
between bishop and judge, snd after
some alteration the latter thought he
should confound his opponent by quoting
the following passages: For on these
hang all the laws and prophets" "Do you
not see," said the lawyer, In triumph.
that even in this passage OF scripture
we are mentioned firsts" al grant
you" said the bishop, "you hang first
ONE Of the funniest, moet sggravsting
typographical errors on record has Just
produced hurricane, accompanied by
thunder and timing, in the ofice OF
the Lynchburg virginian. Its editor,
on glsncing over his powerful leader, at
the breakfast table, was astonished 10
find that he was made 10 say that the
farmers would forget their pantry and
purrery" in the excitement Of politics.
The manuscript read poverty and misery.
JAPAN seems to be a country whsre
men never lose their temper, where
women and children are always treated
with gentleness, where common laborers
bow and beg pardon of each other II
they happen TO jostle accidentally, where
popular sports do not inflict suffering
upon the lower animals. where q paper
screen is a sufficient protection against
all intrusion even that Of burglars, and
where cleanliness takes such high rank
among social virtues ~ to be carried
almost to q ludicrous excess '.- Font
nightly Review.
A LATE learned and eloquent blshop
was very anxious to convert PaDee
who was making some stay In London,
and, meeting him on an cccasicn
favorable for private conversstiou, he
opened an attack uron bic peculiar
tenets. al can not think" aid hs,
I" how any man Of intelligence end edus
cation, whose mind has been ENLARGED
BY travel and association With nsa OF
difArent opinions, can voTship cseated
object such - the SUM-" "Ob, ny logd
bishop" returned the parsss. who had
not been fortunate In the weather slnoe
his arrival In the country, "yoa shenn
see Il Won havs No 1dsa uAel l1nGlnne