Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1878-05-01
NASBY
Goes to Washington to Get an
Office from Khedive Field.
CoNFEDRIT y ROADS,
wich is in the Stait of Kentucky
April %, 1878. y

CoNFEDRIT y ROADS,
wich is in the Stait OF Kentucky
April %, 1878.
On my arrival at Washington I
went to Gen. Fields with all the con-
fidence in the world. he'd with me
enuff credenshals to make me minis
ter to England ef ther he'd bin DIM
ecratic misunderstanding. he'd my
certitikit NV servis in the Looisianer
Pelikins, he'd a statement NV losses
Nv property by Fedrel cavalry, l he'd
sevrel certifikits, written by myself,
NV heroic ackshens after 1 wuz disa-
bled and left the servis, and he'd my
comishen ez Postmaster, signed by A.
johnson, These presentid.
They stumped General Fields, and
likewise the Dimec.atic members
wich is helpin him to dispense the
patronage NV his pssishun.
81 never saw better credenshals,"
sed the door-keeper, "nOr them wich
more entities man 10 considerashun.
But wat kin i do? l hev but one
place left, and the House dassent leg
islate more places tor me to give. [
am in sore distress"
swat kin 700 doo?" asked l.,
know wat yoo kin doc with that wun
appointment !" l sed with great fer
yer, "yoo kin end your suspense and
likewise that NV all other appliance,
by givin il to me. Is ther any more
entitled to it? Did any applicant do
better servis for the Confedracy Is
ther one among EN- wich suffered
more for the Lost Coz than l did
l will assOom the dooties NV the po-
sishun to-morrer."
"My dear sir !" replied Gen. Fields,
~ wish Good show yoo how much !
am greeved, and how much am sor-
ry for yco. But yoo can't hev that
place. l admit the strength NV yoor
claims-I admit the almost over
whelmin necessity for givin it to yoo,
but the fact is, the Northern Dimocri-
cy must hey suthin! We can't ignore
them altogether. Troo, they didn't
fite for us-troo, they went loonatic
and submitted to drafts agin us-troo
they paid taxes with wich to crush
us, but nevertheless they must be con-
sidered. l hey saved this appoint
ment for Northern Dimecrat from
Illinoy, and he must hev it, ez it is the
only one left. Yoo, ez troo Dime
crat won't object to it. Consider my
deer sir, that we must hev the North
ern Dim0crisy to vote with us, that
we may get fully into power in 1880.
We don't like 'em any better than yoo
do, but we must hev 'em. And how
would it look for me to give erery
place l hev, ez DOor-keeper in the
House nv Representatives, to South
ern men! 1t won't do. This wun
place must 60 North. and it shell"
Isaw there wuz no yoose argooin
| with him and reluctantly | walked
away. My hopes Nv a substan shell
livir wuz blocked, and I wuz no bet
ter off than / wuz when i left the
Corners. Gen. Fields remarked, ez I
left, that the Reform House wood
probably make some new places in a
week or two, ez ther wuz q thousand
or more like me wich hedn't bin fixed,
and eff wood wait he wood promise
me the very first under the new
batch.
"Yes!' replied bitterly, "but wat
good will it do me to wait for an ap-
pointment2 The day the new ofiises
is ordered l shell be found in my bed,
ded NV starvashen."
"Trool' sed Fields, s'troo. It's
hard. But stop! hev it. can't
give yoo place, but I'll tell yoo wat
to do! Go to the White House and
show the same credenshels yoo hev
showd to me. Penetrate to the Pres
ident hisself, and see that he hez EN-.
Demand NV him-yoo only rekested
NV me, but demand Nv him-a place
Demand il ez q Confedrit wich suf-
fered, and one wich wants reconcilin.
Shake the entire Corners at him. II
wood be we'll to calsomine yoor nose
before yoo see him, and ef possible
git on q eileen shirt. The Dimecratic
Congressional Committy hev eileen
shirts for sich ez we her to send to
the President for places NV trust
witch we loan eff they kin deposit ,her
valyoo ez secoority for their return
after they git appointments. And
also, restrane yoor profanity eff pos
sible And also, ef possible, remem
Der snatch Nv one nv Watts hymns
The dOckyments yoo hev showd m,
will git wat 700 want from him. Tn,
President is in the consiliatin biz
mis- heavy, and ther amt no reason
why yoo shoodn't hev gorjus place
The era NV good feelin is inauguratit
and the President knows that thel
amt but one way nv conciliatin us
60, my friend, straight to the Whit
House. Wat I can't do for 700, tn
President will"
Il am going TO try it. but must con
fess that hev no idee NV succeediu
The President is mighty forgivin, b,I
possibly he may stop little short "
wat is necessary to consulate me. ii
: may obieck to forgivin us and tho
payin us for the privilege nv forgivis
tBut it can't do no harm to try, and q