Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1878-12-21

Sc, here. areat - eoisg 10 hays
asothss centennial exAibisioa Pssssy
coon?
"what Ne rant, demand the tnaps.
els vosk ssd pay: you do the work ssd
ve tsks IL pay"
Awest Hill vOman calls her Husband
Darkest Hour, because be comes Just
before rorning.
"Whst - yosr 800 doing in the hat
tie Of life" aka the Christian Helper.
Well. he appears 10 be driving rstions
most Of the time. just ct prsseat. thank
you
The paper say that an ''aoudai" vas
born ct the Cincinnati geological gar
dens one day last week. Aoadad? Ha
kind Of On animal OF another nee
partyf
Gold keeps coming down. ve hear,
and really Il must have gone down past
NJ while 20 we're asleep. We must 60
down and eco what he's become Of it,
and what it il doing.
Let every true Republican this morn
ing 60 early-ah, Ne forgot; we're
through With that nov for-how is il
now, do the elections in this country
occur semi-weekly or only four times
month?
People have had their attention and
their charity turned 20 strongly and 80
steadily toward the yellow fever suffer
ers this summer they are in danger OF
forgetting that Maybe Bayard Taylor
hasn't had bite to eat for nearly three
hours.
"Why," asks an eminent professor OF
linguistic science. do not the lower
animals speak," We never gave the
subject very close thought, but we sup
pose it 10 to avoid being called on to
make addresses Of welcome and after
dinner speeches.
Man, once reused to the height OF
determination BY strong resolution and
indomitable will power, can not be
checked in his career. When O man
thoroughly makes up his mind to COM
NIT suicide, for instance, he'll do it II
he dies IL shs attempt.
Some young men on West Hill or.
gNnized q string band last week. They
have only had two rehearsalg, and broke
up cottage prayer meeting, Q debat-
ing club, three whist parties and beer
saloon. The defenceless villagers are
now talking about an Injunction.
The poor, benighted Chinese worship
idols. We suppose, then, they would
gods of the first water; "a yard wide
and all wool, as they say in Kentucky.
Certainly they are about the idolist
things THE fertile country can produce.
One of the amateur dramatic clubs in
Burlington decided to present evil
liam Tell" at private exhibition last
Tuesday evening, but at the last mo-
ment the man who was to play 1.-THE
apple" backed out and. refused to ap.
pear. This broke up the play, and the
club is in despair.
A correspondent wants to know
"What is the singular of measles ?"
Tho spots, woman, the spots; there's
nothing else singular about measles
that we ever heard of. And come to
think Of it. the spots are generally plu-
raj, too. It would be poor, feeble
measle that coldnt raise more than one
spot.
In all of Wendell Phillips talk about
the ''lost arts" he has never word to
say about the art of filing, lighting,
and carrying kerosene lamp without
getting enough oil on ones finger to
taste for week. This art is unknown
to day, and the question is, could the
people who lived before the food do
it?
What made Mr.. Harrison, y the brake.
man, mad was not because the train
ran over him when he fell from the car
and cut great pieces from the calves of
his legs, but because the local paper
called these fragments "veal cutlets,"
and then when he demanded an apollo
gy, it retracted, and called them "pork
chops.
It is rather singular fact, which is
vouched for by several excellent young
men who are sadly addicted to hair oil,
that in years when the bear crop is al
most totsl failure, the supply of bears
grease holds out just as we'll as in good
years, with never cents advance in
prices. They wanted us to explain this,
but we didn't have time.
A mean spirited Ohio man took o
fourteen-pound club with knob on the
bad end, and got his friends to put him
in coffin and place it in vault. BY
the grey of the dawn two solitary fig
ures were seen coming along the high
way into Cincinnati. One of them went
lanely to the Ohio medical college with
lump on his head that lifted his hat
of, and the other went to q quiet home
with spoiled club under his arm and
the glad light of happy smile she'd
ding the light of peace and duty over
his honest countenance.
BEFORE.
Gaily the candidate
6eeketh the bar,
Where thirsty citizens
Throng from afsr.
Singing, 'ln search Of thee,
Hither We come,
Candidate. candidate,
Bet up the rum"
Hank. 'tis the candidate,
HAstsning home;
vainly ths citizens
SEEKING hin, roam.