The daily intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Territory [i.e. Wash.]) 1876-1881, 1878-01-31
BREvITIEs.
A strong woman: A shop-lifter.

Senator Jones always smiles Blandly
when any one mentions silver.
The Bohemian Girl is thirty -four
years old Isn't it about time to say
The Bohemian Woman
'Hof course there's . bel. Wat would
the halphabet be without helT' That's
what they say in Victoria.
A New York publisher is about to
issue an odd volume entitled "The Sin.
gle Poem Poets"
An investigation shows that one-fifth
of the mixture sold by the Chicago
Dilkmen is milk.
Very few brass bandsh q military
parade can plsy as many airs As the
drum major puts on.
A Brooklin girl has besn arrested for
bnrglary-ss if a young woman had no
right to be out with her jimmy.
Man is an unfortunate fellow. When
he is young the worms bite him ter.
ribly. and when he 10 old and dead they
eat hin up.
Those who accept the Beecher doc
trine that there is no hell are now kick
ing themselves for being good so long.
A little child thinks that God must
be glad when prayer meeting night
comes. cause he hears such lots Of
news
When the landlady discovered that
her boarders were dropping off, the
burthsn Of her song became: Nothing
but leaves
Who signed Magma Chartsr brusque
~ demanded Scotch schoolmaster.
please. SIR said a little pupil, it was
no one
In Switzerland donkeys have bells
on their necks In this country it 10
not unusual to see them with bellies on
their arms.
Some people always laugh when they
are mad. The monarch Of Persia, for
instance. smiles whenever he wishes to
evincs his Shah hgrin.
Among the possibilities of the future
is kissing by telephone. The worst of
it is that you can't always tell who 10
at the other end of the line.
don't like to talk mach with people
who always agree with me. It is anus
ing to coquetts with an echo little
while, but one soon tires Of it, -Carlyk.
Saving bank officials are greatly an
noyed by the daily RECEIPT Of steamship
advertisements. each one clsiming the
best and fastest line to foreign ports.
A lady and gentleman were married
by Mayor Stockley, of Philadelphia,
and Immediately took their wedding
trip to the top of the State House stee-
pie.
An editor. speaking of spiritualism,
says; We don't believe in any medium
except the circulating medium, and
that has become 80 scarce that our faith
in 1t is shaky.'
When a man returnes home 1T night
and kisses his wife with more than or
binary tenderness. she may be pretty
certain that he has been in mischief
joaquin Miller.
Mr.. Eugene Lawrence believes that
the coldness of women's feet is due to
the Vaccinations Of the Jesuits. Mr..
Conkling regards it as the inevitable
results Of the Presidential policy.
In a Russian school the spelling class
wears out new alphabet every week.
Some of the most knotty words are
suoothed of with q jack-plane. before
given to the class.
You don't remember mss Why, YOU
defended me and get me of at the last
assiaes. Thanks to you, have been
able to resume my avocation. Your
money or your life.'
Grace Greenwood WAS standing in Q
Washington horse-car. when q sudden
start Of the car threw her over iuto .
gentleman's lap. when she said. I beg
your pardon, sir; but you see I am .
Laplander.'
A Brooklyn clergyman introduced
special sermon last Sunday as follows:
Brethren. / have been requested to
preach sermon on little things, and
do so willingly, ~ the subject accords
well with my own mind
Tho Dubuque Qowa) Times thus
reports brief street conversation ip
that city, with a change of name only:
"Can you tell me. Sor-r, wher-r Mistress
Murphy livcss' Which Mrs. Mur-
phyS' The one who died last night,
Sor-r!'
4 Brooklyn girl who bad supposed
she had caught rich husband, found.
upon inventory. that he wore hired
jewelry, owed sor his clothes. was
behind on his board, and that he
couldn't lend her five dollars to consult
lawyer about divorce.
While be was counting over the col.
lection money. the deacon ofs Wash-
ingtoo church found an old and faded
piece OF paper which, being unfolded.
proved to be his own nearly. outlawed
note tor $50 and interest, which the
holder. unable to collect, had turned
into the treasury Of the Lord.
His wife caught him with his arms
around the hired girls neck, but his
courage even IN this trying extremity,
never forsook him. II suspected some
one OF stealing tho whiskey on the pre-
serves, Jane. for some time, and OF
course you know her breath would have
told If she was the guilty party"
The latest phase OF filisl affection that
has come to our knowledge was illus
frsted recently by . middle aged man.
who went into ons Of the grocery stores
Of 9 neighboring town and called for
soue OF the poorest tobacco, remarking:
l DO not use tobacco, but want this for
my mother, who loves to smoke.''