Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1878-02-06
A Good Story Told About Alex-
ander Stephens and Bob
Taann1aa

A doctor named ROystOn had sued
Peter Bennett for his bill, long over
due, for attending tie wife of the lat.
ter. Alexander II. Stephens was on
the Bennett side, and Robert Toombs,
then senator Of the United States, was
for DR.. Royston. The doctor proved
the number Of his visits, their value
according to local custom and his own
authority to do medical practice
Mr.. Stephens told his client that the
physician had made ont his case, and
as there was nothing wherewith to
rebut or offset the claim, the only
thing left to do was to paw it, "No,"
said Peter; II hired you to speak In
my case, and now speak,"
Mr.. Stephens told him thero was
nothing to say; he had looked on to
see that it was made out, and it was.
Peter was obstinate, and at last Mr..
Stephens told him to make speech
himself, if he thought one could be
made.
"I WILL" said Peter Bennett, "if
Bobby Toombs won't be toe hard on
me-"
Senator Toombs promised, and Pc
ter began:
Gentlemen Of the Jury-You and
I is plain farmers, and if we don't
stick together these ERE lawyers and
doctors will get the advantage of US.
I aint no lawyer nor doctor, and
amt no objections to them In their
proper place; but they aint farmers,
gentlemen of the jury.
"Now, this man Royston was new
doctor, and l went for him to come
an to doctor my wife's sore leg
And he come an put some salve truck
onto it and some rags, but never done
it one bit of good, gentlemen of the
jury. l don't believe he is no doctor,
no way. There is doctors as is doc
tors sure enough, but this man don't
earn his money; and if you send for
him, as Mrs. Sarah Atkinson did, for
negro boy as was worth $1,000, he
just Kills him and wants pay for it."
81 don't" thundered the doctor.
"Did you cure him ?" asked Peter,
with the slow accents Of judge with
the black cap ON.
The doctor was silent, and Peter
proceeded
hs was Do Al SCAiCilcA Va TIC
jury, we farmers when we sell our
cotton has got to give vally for the
money we ask, and doctors aint none
too good to be put to the same rule.
And I don't believe this Sam. Royston
is no doctor, nohOw."
The physician again put in his oar,
with, "Look at my diploma If you
| think l am no DOCTOR"
ellis diploma !" exclaimed the new.
fledged orator with great contempt
ellis diplomat! Gentlemen, that is a
big word for printed sheepskin, and
it didn't make no doctor Of the sheep
as first wore it, nor does it ofthe man
as now carries II. A good newspaper
has more in 1t, and pint out to ye
that he amt no doctor at all"
The man of medicine was now In O
fury, and screamed out "Ask my pa.
tients If am not q doctor !"
81 asked my wife," retorted Peter
"an' she said as how she thought you
wasn't"
"Ask my other patients" said Doc.
tor Royston.
This seemed to be the straw that
broke the camel's back, for Peter re.
piled with look and tone of unuttera.
BILE sadness:
"That is hard sayin' gentlemen oi
the jury, and one that requires me to
die or to have powers as I've hearu
tell ceased to be exercised since the
Apostles. Does he expect me to
bring the Angel Gabriel down TO tool
his horn before his time and cry
aloud, Awake, ye dead, and tell this
court and jury your opinion Of Roy
stons practice |? Am I to go to the
lonely churchyard and rap on the ST.
lent tomb and say to um as is at last
at rest from physic and doctor bills,
Cit up here, you, and state ii you died
a natural death, or was hurried uI
some by doctors 2" He says ask hi
patients, and, gentlemen Of the jury
they are all dead! Where is Mrs
Beazly's man Sam2 Go ask The
worms in the graveyard where he lies
Mr.. Peake's woman Sarah was atten
ded by him, and her funeral was ap
| p'nted, and he had the corpse ready
Whero is that likely Bill as belonged
to Mr.. Mitchell? Now in glory a
expressin' his opinion on Roystoni
doctorin'. Who're is that baby gal O.
Harry Stephens? She are wher,
doctors cease from troublin' and thu
infants are at rest.
/ Gentlemen of the jury. he has o
chicken enough at my house to pa.
for his salve, and I furnished the rags
and I don't suppose he charges fol
maxim of her worse, and even b
don't pretend to charge for curin' o
her, and am humbly thankful tina
he never gave her nothin' for her in
wards, as he did his other patients
for somethin' made um all die might,
sudden"-
Here the applause made the speak
er sit down In great confusion, ant
: In spite of logical restatement Of th
hV, GnvnA ~ hA lAntA