Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1878-05-17
At Plainfeld, n. J., tramps are put to
rnrk cleaning the sewer hasins

The average man measures five feet
three and one-half inches.
Tin choosing a wife, ;" says the Phre,-
0GosaedL Journal, ''be governed by her
@hln- The worst of that is, that after
haVlng chosen wife one is apt to keen
on oelng governed in the same way.
I'm England, the women always pur-
chase the groceries and provisions for
the family; if man should attempt
such thing some housewife would pin
a dish-cloth to his coat tail.
Lady Margaret Herbert asked some
body for pretty pattern for night-cap.
| well, said the person, what signifies
the pattern of a night-capP "Oh ;
child " said she, "but you know in case
of frew
During the recent civil war there
were two volunteers lying beneath their
blankets, looking up at the stars in a
Virginia sky. Says Jack: "What made
you go into the army, TomP' 'eWell." /"
replied Tom, Il had no wife and I loved
war. What made you join the army.
Jack ?' "Well," he replied, .''I had q
wife and loved peace, so went to war;"
An Indian, on being asked what he
did for living, replied, "Oh, me preach. .
Preach" said bystander; 'what do
you get for itP' Sometimes me get
shillin', sometimes two shillin'." "And
isn't that mighty poor pay% "Oh, yes,
but it's mighty poor preaehin'."
"A new story comes from Oshkosh
and the Madison Wis., Journal thus
tells it:-@A lady of color left a pair of
! shoes for repair, and after repeatedly
calling for them and being put off she
'lit down" on the unfortunate son of St.
Crispin and smOthered him with kisses
to the great amusement of his shopmates
The next call brought the shoes.'
A little girl down in Maine was listen.
ing with much interest to the story of
Jonah. When the question was asked,
what should you suppose would be the
first thing Jonah would do after the great
fish threw him upon the land?' she an
swered promptly, 'I sh'd fink he'd go
home quick as he could and get cleaned
up"
Old 81, of the Atlanta Constitution, on
the "no hell" theories: eyer jess make
er niger belebe der amt no herarter.
an see Whar yer comes ter. Ebery
secon' houseYl be er court house, an de
houses twixt 'em IL be jale houses. Hits
moughty hard to keep 'em-strate now,
wild de sheriff an hell ;-bofe fore dar
eyesF'
"A lady resident at Boyerton, Pa, the
other night had a desperate fight with a
mad dog in her bedroom, and finally,
II GT ,e G,1o to-
at him, was pleased to see him disappear.
She awakened to find that it was all
horrid nightmare, but that the room was
wrecked and her teeth shattered beyond
redemption.
"A gentleman married his servant. A
short time after their union they gave an
evening party. Conversation tagging,
silence reigned, when one of the ladies
said, lawful pauseP' The lady of the
house Immediately exclaimed, awful
paws, indeed So you would have awful
paws if you had done the dirty work in
your life that 1 have %
Charity has been covering a multi
tude Of cats in London hovel. An in
spector, in visiting an old woman who
had been for several years assisted by
the authorities, was surprised, at his en-
trance, to see cats being hurriedly pushed
out of the windows sand stuffed into
drawers. An officer who accompanied
the inspector declared that the old
woman constantly kept and fed no less
than twenty cats, an aspersion which she
rejected with great violence, calling the
informant liar and declaring that she
had only fifteen. This number, how
ever, was considered rather too many
for pauper to support, and her name
was taken from the relief list at once.
In Mississippi a patent has been OBJ,
tanned for method of collecting taxes
upon drinks which is far better than the
Moffet or Clarke register. Books of coU-
pons are sold by the State Auditor to all
LIQUOR dealers. When a drink Is sold
the consumer receives a coupon, which
entities him to receive from the State,
in payment of his taxes, one cent. 1t
two drinks are to be paid for he receives
an orange-colOred coupon good for two
cents. If five drinks, a blue paper good
for five cents. Not only does the State
enjoy an income from the tax on drinks,
but the consumer has a reasonable
chance of paying off his taxes with the
orange and blue coupons. The saloons
are crowded at all times with men max
ing out their taxes.
REVERENCE TO AeE.-The wise man
says, 'the hoary head is q crown of glory
when found in the ways of righteous
ness" And so it ought TO be esteemed.
But, somehow or other, it does really
seem that even matured old age does not
command tha$ respect from the young
now which it once did. Even groWn-up
children nowadays, often speak OF
parents. that should be revered, as "the
old man." and 'the old woman" little
imagining how it shocks the moral sense
of those whose better nature and more
refined sensibilities revolt at such I'M
piety, such unfilial ways. Among GER
tain of the ancients, want OF reverence
to parents was accounted among the
greatest of crimes, while lack of venera-
ton even to the stranger who had grown
old, was attributed to lack OF breeding,
And so it should be in this our day,
'fast" as the age is reported to be. Would
chat all our youth might be taught this
lesson, and bow reverently to age!
A prominent church of Syracuse, n.
Y, has been afflicted in its last two pas
tors, one Of whom has deceased, and the
other became disabled by overWork so
that he has sought a milder climate 1or
the winter. One of the brethren, cor
respondent of the absent pastor, know-
ing the anxiety to hear of the minister's
welfare, announced at one OF the meet
ings his latest intelligence just received
but by singular infehcity got the de
ceased pastor's name into the place of
tbe debilitated one. 4 have Just got,'
he remarked, ga letter from our dear
absent pastor, -" giving the dead
minister's name. "He says the weather
Is very warm-indeed, unusually and
uncomfortably wsrm-in that locality"
At this point a general smile, when
could not resist the provocatiOn TO be-
come vocal with the congregation,
brought the brother to pause, and
perception also of q mistake in the nal=
ter of his nomenclature, On see
it is the Rev. DR.. --, our absent I>'S7
tor, whose name meant to giye'
The beautiful golden halr owes its
brightness to an excess q sul ....t ~
oxygen, while black halr OWES ItS yesay
ASPECT to an excess OF carOoh anu = ue-
6ciency of sulphur and oxygen. VAN
ouelin traces an oxide OF IRON IN the lat
ter and also in red hair, The eOlorlng
matter. however, forms bat one portion
of the difference between the soft, luxu.
rant tangles Of the Saxon girl and the
coarse, black locks of the North Ameri-
can squaw. The size and quality Ofeaeh
hair, and the manner in which it Is