Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-05-29

Our pilgrim fatheIs--The doctors.
- How to get along in the world-Walk.
To make a monkey wrench. feed him
on the first green apples.
The bellpunch noteth even the fall of
a swallow Chicago Times.
You can't plant cats too early, nor is
it possible to get too many in a hill.
To the clergy in America-Satan does
not intend to take any vacation this
summer
Life is made up ov sunshine and
shaddo," says Josh Billings-"abo five
shaddOs to one sunshine"
Bean poles should be planted at once.
They are naturally hardy and can with
stand all the frosts likely to come
Buffalo Express
When you can't count more than one
bald head in the parquet on a spectacu-
lar night you may conclude that the
times are indeed hard
A Sunday-school boy of Maysville,
Ky, was asked by the superintendent
if his father was a Christian eyes,
sir" he replied, but he is not working
at it much"
Mrs. Fortune, of Halifax. has given
birth to twins-girls. OF course. Miss
Fortunes never come singly. Ciracin-
natl Breakfast Table.
When freedom from her mountain
height unfurled her standard to the air,
she little thought that naughty men
would advertise hop bitters there
Worcester Press.
80 for youthW exclaimed the old man
bitterly, as he threw aside the morning
paper, " that I might live long enough
to find out whether it's to be war or
peace. > Cincinnati breakfast Table.
Some people swallow the Graphic &C
count of the phonograph. The fools are
not all dead yet.--Centralia Herald.
That's so just as sure as you live.-N.
Y. Graphic.
oonlight-Leaning on his arm with
her head almost touching his shoulder,
she said "Mr. B., know what makes
you catch cold so easily" "What is it,
-" because SO much of your
body is on the groundW Mr.. B. has Or
dered new shoes.-Anaherst Student.
The question is asked in All the Year
Round, "Shall ladies 90 dressed or I'M
dressed before the queen?" We shall
not answer it; but it is at least desirable
that ladies should not take cold.-Bufa-
10 Express.
A printer was discovered in this office
yesterday wearing pair Of suspenders
and pair of mated socks. This outrage
upon the craft was promptly avenged by
the execution Of the audacious offender.
| st. Louis Journal.
Mark Twain told newspaper report
er that he was going abroad in order to
! find a quiet place to write, where he
would not be disturbed once day. 1t
| is singular it never occurred to him to
remain at home and secure desk in a
store that doesn't adv ertise-NoYrlaoun
Herald
The care with which man parts his
coat tail before sitting down, depends
much on the manner in which his pants
have been patched. If there is red
square sewed on blue background with
white thread, he don't give cent if his
coat tails do get wrinkled. -Keokuk Con-
stitutiOn.
The late Rev. DR.. H, of New Y ork,
had large body and short lower limbs.
He said that when in the cars one day
lady had around her so many children
that she did not know what to do with
them. He asked her to let one Of the
little girls sit with him, as she had her
hands full. The child, after short
stay, returned to her mother, who asked
her why she did not sit longer in the
gentleman's lap. Ma" she replied,
"he hain't got any lap."-Harper for
T,.ne.