The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1878-10-18

greet me with every morning frequently
| forgot all about it, and left it 30 be put in
water by the servant this morning l would
have treasured it most carefully if he had
gathered it.
After breakfast I determined to rouse
myself and go and visit some of the poor
people of the village, SO l filed my basket
with some litsle delicacies for the sick and
set out.
Wherever 1 went it was the same story,
all held forth on my husbands $ kindness,
for all bad been helped by him in some
way or other, and all loved and respected
him. As listened with burning cheeks |
felt as if | was the only person on earth
who had treated him with ingra:itude, and
was the very person whom he most loved
and cherished.
At last | went home, tired and sick at
heart but there was no oae to notice thai
| was pale and worn Jut, no one to get me
wine or soup to revive me, no one to make
me lie down aud rest, as he would have
done had lie been there. Oh, how | miss
ed him. What a fool | had been! Was
there ever woman loved and cared for as
| have been? Oh why had ever let him
leave me? l was sure he never would
come back. Why bad he gone away?
And conscience answered, You drove
him he gave you all he had TO give, and
in return you gave him nothing but cold
looks and unkin6 words and so he left
you 10 seek love and sympathy from his
mother"
This thought almost maddened me. In
fancy | saw her sitting in my place by his
side, loving and caressing him. as l had
the best right to love and caress ] pic
ttured her receiving tenderly the little low
ing acts | had received SO coldly, and now
| was seized with a Jealous anger against
her. j mentally accused her of estrdnging
my husband from me, as though his heart
was not large enough for both Of Us
When Maude arrived IN the afternoon, I
treated her to long tirade of abuse against
moIhers>in law in general, and my own
in particular, and l vented all The anger [
really felt against myself on the innocent
Mrs. Cartwright.
'Why, Nelly" said Maude, 81 thought
you liked Mrs. Cartwright so much, and
thought her 50 nice, that you even wanted
her to live with you, only your husband
very properly, as mamma says, objected.
$50 did" | answered but | did not
know then thai She would entice my hus-
band away from me in this way or, OF
coarse. | should never have liked her.
''Really, Nell, yOu are very bard on the
poor woman tor, as ! understand, Mr.
Cartwright went TO her of his own free
Will, because she was not well, and he
thought bis company would Go her good, -
said Maude.
Nonsense am sure he would never
have left me alone, unless she had put him
mp TO it," | replied rather GROSSLY.
''The truth IS, Nelly, you are SO much in
love with your husband that YOU are ieal-
ons even of his mother and you arc MAX
ing yourself miserable about nothing -
Why, NJ. Cartwright will be back in a
fortnight, and | dare say you will get a
letter from him every day so cheer up,
and let US 60 for drive" said Maude.
the reins | leaned back and thought of our
conversation. Was she right after all ?
Was | Jealous? Was l really, as Maude
sald, in love with my husband? ? Had |
only found It out now | was deprived of his
company Was this the reason | could
do nothing but inwaTdly reproach myself
for my conduct 20 him ? Aud tie longer
thought, the more convinced l became that
Maude was right, that [ was Jealous and
that l was in love, as she called it,
This knowledge did not make me hap
pier, Cor | no sooner knew loved him than
l longcd 10 tell Eim so, and make up, as
far as | could for all my former cruelty, for
could call my conduct by no milder word
L pas sed sleepieSs night, aud as | lay
awake, l composed various letters of con-
feSsIdn, which | resolved to send the fol.
lluwing day but, when morning came, my
pride stepped in, and l began to feel il
would be impossible to write, and | settled
| must wait till my husband came home
and then tell him how his absence had al
tered me.
l got up early and walked out to meet
! the poStman, so anxious was | to get let
ter from him it was the first [ had ever
received from him since our marriage, and
no girl was ever so anxious for or so pleas
ed with her first love letter as | was over
this.
1t was long letter, full of loving mes
sages aud terms of endearment all of which
cut me to the heart, FOR they sounded like
SO many reproaches; in reality, ! think
there was tone of gentle reproach
throughout tue letter. He gave me an ac-
count of his journey and of his mothers
health, begged me 10 write to him fe @
lines every day, but he said not a word
about returning.
| spent the morning in answering it.
much to Maude's amusement who Of
course, under the impression .hat |
was pouring out volumes of love and COM
plants OF my temporary widowhood after
tearing up about a dozen sheets of paper
at last sent short cold note, and with no
alluson to my misery. The more | tried,
the more impossible | found it to write any
expression of love or peUitence, though
was huugering to do so.
For whole week | went or in this way,
suffering more acutely every day, aud every
day receiving long, LOVING letters from my
husband, and writing short, cold answers.
L lost my appetite, | coaId not sleep at
night, and the torture was enduring made
me look so i'll that Maude became fright
ened and declared she would write and
summon my husband home and tell him |
was pining away for him. | forbade her
doing this sternly that she dared not
disobey me, for | was determined that he
should never hear from any lips but mine,
that at last his hearts desire was attained,
for | loved him.
At last, when he had been away ten DAYS
| could bear it no longer, for felt | should
have brain fever if | wenI on in this way;
So / determined to go on to Melton, where
Mrs. Cartwright lived. and see myhusbaud
/ came to this decision one night, and
went to Maudes room early the mex morn
ing to tell her my intention. / expected
she would laugh at me, but | think size
guessed some hing was wrong, for she
seemed glad to hear it aud helped me to
pack few things and set off in time 10
| catch the morning train.
! 1t was three hours journey. They seem