The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1878-09-11
How Il Is!

How II Is,
"Theru's where a man has the nd
vantage. He can undress in u cold
room aud have his bed warm before q
woman has got her hair pins out and
her shoesuntied."
There's how it looks in print, and
this is how it is in reality;
I'm going to bed my dear It's
half-past ten"
Noreply.
"Now, John, you know you're al
ways late in the morning. Doget to
bed!" af5l
@Ycs, in minute, he replies, us he
turns the paper wrong side out and
begins lengthy article headed "the
Louisiana Muddle.p
Fifteen minutes later she calls from
the bedroom:
John, come to bed, and not keep
the gas burning here all night and
nnnrmuring something about the bill
being big enough now ,she creeps be-
stASeent theeeld Sheets, ,s@hile John sits
placidly on, his feet across theTpiano
stool anda cigar,in hismoutl1,-
By.and-by he rises, yawns, stretch
es himself, throws the paper on the
floor, and dseizing the shaker, proceeds
to that vigorous exercise-shaking
the coal stoVe. Just at this stage u
nosaltogether pleasant voice inquiries
"For PHYS sake, amt you ready for
bed, yet?n
eyes, yes, I'm coming. Why don't
you go tosleep and let fellow alone2"
Then he discovers there's coal need
ed. When that is supplied and rat
tied into the stove he sits down to
warm hisfeet. Next he slowly begins
toundress, and rs he stands scratch-
ing himself and absently gazing on
the last garment, dangling over the
back Of d chair, he remembers that
the clock is not wound yet. When
that is attended ohe wants n drink
of water, andawayh he promenades to
the kitchen, r,
OF course when he returns his skin
resembles that of picked chicken
and once more he sits before the fire
for last warm-up. AS the clock
strikes twelve he turns out the gas
and witha Il flop of the bed-clothes and
a few spasnodic shivers, he subsidies
mo, not yet, he forgot to see if the
front door was locked, and another
flop of the bed-cOVers brings forth the
remark:
"Good gracious! if that man ai'nt
enough to try the patience of Johlp
Setting her teeth hard, she awaits
the final flop, with its accompanying
blast of cold air, and then quietly in
quites if he is settled for the night,
to which he replies, by muttering:
Ifyou amt the proyokingest wo-
mani" yu1
''No man willcver prosper whohas
the curse Of ruined woman upon
him. The murderer of the body can
be tried executed by the world'slaws,
but the murderer Of the soul is tried
by heaven 8 law, and the execution
is as sure as divine Justice" Aunt
Betsey said this as she folded the
white hands ofa beautiful girl; and
put white flowers aud green leaves
about the marble cold forehead,
There was a tiny babe beside the girl
mother. The house was hushcd and
there was mourning such as fow know.
Half glad that the mother and child
were dead, the rest of the familymust
perform the last sad Offices Of burial
and bear the family shame. A
haunted housel A ruined homel-
God the architect and man the spoil
or. Thocurs is there, and the deS-
troyer can not escape Womda'S
Jo,un& ,.i
The little bit of girl wanted
more and more buttored toast, till
she was told that too much would
make her sick. Looking wist(ully
at the dish fora moment, she thought
she saw d way out Of her difficulty,
and exclaimed, swell, give me an.
nuzcr piece, and send for the doctor"
--..-----f--a- .,
It is related that a Western tour.
ist, to whom nm Italian monk was
sbowingn-consocmt6 lamp which
had never gone out during Eve CEN
turieo, gave the llamO q decided puff
and romarked with cool conlplaconcy,