Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-01-09
A SYMPATHETIC REPORTER.
How Young Reporter Sympathized
With an Unfortunate Mother at the
Recent Exposition of Babies Ill New

Rochester Democrat.

paper attended the baby show and in
spected pair of twins. Very pretty,
indeed" he said, with sweet earnestness.
Which is the oldest?'
"Neither !" said the mother, looking
surprised and somewhat angry.
4 observe" ne continued, pointing
at one of the cherubs with his pencil,
"that this little one does not look
well. | trust he has enoughA to eat?"
'He is a girl, sir y replied the mother
with intense dignity. Her diet is
properly attended to, sir p
Yes, Of course" continued the young
reporter, looking more critically at the
child, "Iwas aware of that, I misspoke.
Now don't YOU think that the paleness
of the little thing is unnatural? | would
not insinuate that it has not enough to
eat, but is the food of the right kind !?
Now know that nothing builds up the
system more rapidly than roast beef.
You have heard of the blood-cure, [
suppose. [ would not recommend that
in this case-as yet; but the child
ought to have liberal supply of roast
beef at once"
q do not understand you, SIR re-
marked the mother in a frightened
tone, but in such low voice that the
reporter did not hear her.
"Hah !" said the young man, looking
more closely at the cherub. +" Why,
see here. the little one has no
teeth. This is extraordinary. Born so,
madam %
Eyes. sir" was the reply of the I'M
happy lady as she searched with her
alarmed eyes for the police. ,.r.r-t
s"No teeth" pursued the reporter
musingly, That's very bad, indeed.
l suppose the unhappy child has been
brought here as curiosity. And-by
Jove! 1t has no hair worth mention
ing. Poor thing T. He turned to the
mother and remarked knowingly and
patronizingly, Let us be thankful, my
poor woman, for the progress of SCI
ence and the arts This unfortunate
child can be provided with teeth by the
dentist, and there-there5 are hair re-
storatives. Should the latter fail We
still have switches, and puffs, and that
sort of thing. Indeed my good woman,
take courage It takes a skillful man
to discover what is false and what IS
genuine in the women Of the period;
and we may overlook the comparatively
slight misfortune of your innocent and
still beautiful child. All is well, ina
dame; all Is we'll, believe me-"
He looked with serene wisdom at the
wide-open eyes of the mother. why,
bless my soul |" he added hastily, as he
turned his attention accidentally to the
sleeping blessing 'sWhat's become of
the-the lower limbs of the unfortunate
creature.Y. He placed his hand softly
upon the long white dress, as if it had
been one of his boils. There were two
yards of dress below the waist, and, APP
parently, nothing inside of it. never
saw the like said the young reporter
s'And the little one-what there is of it
seems to be so bright, too. Its
really marvellous. Born so, my poor
woman ?" q
"Ye-yes, sir" replied the mother,
nearly fainting with apprehension. :
"Ah, well, never mind" remarked
the reporter, dashing away o surrepti-
tious tear and turning with philosophic
tenderness to the agitated parent. Ma
ture has so ordained things that what
one never has one seldom misses. How
much better it is that your beloved
child should be born without legs then
that it should live to have its legs cut
off in ave will say III a railroad disas-
ter Think of that, my poor woman,
think Of that. And here comes in the
ameliorating influence of science again.
| dare say you will live to see this child
walk vet. The time will come when
YOU will remember in every prayer
the genius of the inventor For
there are cork legs, madame, there are
cork legs
The child thrust up an exceedingly
fat hand. Dear me p exclaimed the
young reporter. Isis this natural ?"
Excuse me / see how it is. This early
rose, this embryo person, has been
obliged to encounter a wasp's nest
The ways of Providence are past COM
prehension. Now, why should this
precious infant have been subjected to
pains which would make grown per-
son howl? Bless my heart how that
hand is swelled. Some carelessness
here, [ am afraid Tell me, my good
woman, do you ever intrust this sweet
child to the tender mercies Of the hired
girl?''
"No, sir" responded the mother,
something akin to smile curiously
breaking the continuity of her fright
ened expression.
"But never mind" continued the
young reporter brightly. "There are
worse things than stings, | hope. g Let
Us not be discouraged by such slight
rouble as this, madame. A sting hurts,
but it's easily cured. For there is sweet
oil, madame, there is sweet OIL"
The baby awoke with a start and a
Try. The latter made the young re-
porter jump SO violently that he shook
off his eyeglasses. What's that?" he
aid, hastily replacing the glasses and
turning to the gentle phenomenon.
:" Merciful heaven what's the matter
with its face? 1t is the countenance of
an old man-of fiend Observe those
wrinkles, madam. Note the unearthly
look. Is it angry? Is it crazy? Have
[ offended it somehow? l never saw
such look on an alleged human being
before. This is the most extraordinary
mis- fort11De of q y