The morning star and Catholic messenger., 1878-09-22

was the only chance of awakening ever 30
faint o response. And now all these eager
words poured out before him, with SO little
thought of himself in them, seemed to MIN, ss
he listened, to swell into river OF souho'
sweeping wider and wider every minute oe-
tween them-so wide, that the s.rong cry FROM
his heart to her to come to him could only
reach her thin and poor, as words spoken al
great distance.
what am telling you," Ellen said at las re-
proachfully, when O pause in her narrative
came, to which he made no response.
thought you would have been a little interest
ed at least. You must have been, if you had
seen for yourself what saw. -,
Tsen John t1rned away from her Be d cover
ed his face with his hands. He bad always
thoug' himself resolnte man, who had borne
and could bssr great deal Of pain without
shrinking, but tie immense disappointment
that the next moment might bring seemed
once. Should be even now abandon his pur-
pose sud give himself little longer time to
hopef For momsnt or two he remsined In
silent struggle with himself.
There was eurprised look on E!Ien's race
when, pale and resolute, b turned back to her
again. 81 beg your pardon" che began softly,
II see you did care very much"
NO" John answered, &" wes not even lis.
tspipg to what you said. You won't be able
to forgive me unless l can make you under
stand how full my heart is of another thought.
dare not call it hope"
Can we have hopes for ourselves jast now =
Ellen interrupted quickly.
"Only of one kind. Yes. let me 60 on; il q
hope is more to US than life and death, We osn
have it even while we are atanding between
the living and the dead. Whatever was hap
pening TO ourselves and other peoplc-if the
world were crumbliDg round u.s. and you and
were left alone, should still wish, as earnest
~ as do now to tell you that love you, and
l should hope as do now that you might fnd
some little help or comfort in knowing of my
love-"
There was moments silence, and as Ellen
did not torn away, but fell into her former
position, leaning against the wall on the
bridge and looking up at him, John took cour-
age and went on.
.'There-the word is said; it has heen on
my tongue q hundred times when I have been
with you. II is a poor word for the feeling
th at has been in my heart ever since the first
moment / saw you. l can't make you under
stand that l know 1 have no words: people
like ne, who thabt aalIy hide their feelings
find themselves spellbound when they would
give their lives to be able to speak out. Per-
haps years of loving deeds might show yon
solnething Of it. Leave to render them to YOU
is what i ask. should not have spoken so
soon if you had been happy bat as it is,
think it better to speak for the chance that the
knowledge of my love may help you through
this dark time, even if it cannot for loDg
while to come win back yoursn
Ellen listened to the end, and then let her
face drop between her hands.
will not you answer me 8 all Z" John said.
Must say 10 you, as yoa did to me: Don't
you care at all for what am telling your"
Then she lifted up tear-wet face.
am 80 sorry, am SO sorry. bow could
you think that knowing that would help mel"
. Don't be so very hard on me ss to say that
it would not help at sll-that you utterly re-
ject what offern
don't mean to be ungrateful."
Gratitude has nothing to do with it. can
bear anything better than that word from you.
1t is not gratitude want from YOU"
"Aud 80, you see, can never give any thing
you care for in return for all you have done
for mamma and the boys, and for forgiving
me, and sgeing on caring for me, after that
time when you must have thought behaved
so i'll. You must really let me go on being
grateful to you for that, for it totfches m ore
than all your other benefits, though know
quite we'll how much you have done for Us a H."
"That's nothing; if it were one kind word,
one hopefnl word from you, would overpsy q
"It is your saying that, makes SO very
unhappy"
:" 1 don't ask for it row, only for leave to
wait on, in hope, for years, till you can give
1T would be csc. Years will only mako
it more impossible for me to give you what
you want. We have to go different ways
Don't you see that it is hard enough for me to
nor. who are beth waiting me to sympathize
with them on different sides, dragging me diff
ferent waysf If loved you,-but l don't
oh! l could not, l could not. Forgive me for
being decided. l don't mean to give you
pain indeed, bat the thought is dreadful to
me"
Every answer bit one mnst give me pain,
and that one yon ~ you CauDot give"
ble,"
Then don't let rs say any more about it."
ITO be continued