davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1878-01-19

COMMITTEE NOTICES.
Committee on Mercantile Affairs and Insurance.
The Committee on Mercantile Affairs and Insur-
tnce will meet on Wednesdays, at O'Clock 7. NJ,
1t Room No. 20.
{d%, fRWAso r. Er2H. R. SEArrrr' chairmen.
COmmittee on Commerce.
The above named committee will meet on We'd
nesdayF, at , O'Clock 2. NJ, in Room No. II.
!. j. s. 81 WSinSsiL,ow, WSnsi, chaimen.
COMMITTEE on Railroads.
The Railroad Committee will meet on Thursday
)f each week, at "a o'clock, in the Senate cham.
Der.
w q. DAVIS, ,,,at.,,o0
FREDERIC Kobe, Chairmen'
C0mmiHee on Fisheries.
The Committee on Fisheries will meet in Room
No. Il, on Tuesday OF each week, at O'Clock T.. NJ.
j. IAft' II. KlMnhi1. ivIshi charmen.
Con,mittee on Reform School.
The Committee on Reform school will meet on
Thursday of each week, at 3 O'Clock L. M, in
Room No. is.
PmLANpIn ,ToLMAS, chairmen.
OLIVER NJ. KEY NNOLDs,
Committee on Io,cas.
The Committee on Towns will meet in Room No.
TO- on Friday OF each week, at 2 O'Clock l.. Nj.
JASON HASSEIL, Cb,irpon
JEDEDiAIi q. Larry, !
Commjtee on Lqdiqn 4fairs
The Committee on indian An airs viii meet in
Room No. -, on Friday OF each week, at O'Clock
L, NJ.
l.. W. DRAKE, rh,irncr
R.W. LoKD, N"'' '''"
Commdtee on Ways and Brtdges.
The Committee on ways and Bridges will meet
n Room No. g on Wednesday of each week. at
fN& JAs.P. BLUNT,
COMMITTEE on agriculture.
The Joint Standing Committee on Agriculture
will meet at Room No: Is, on Wednesday of each
week at O'Clock, =. NJ.
RUFUS PRINCE, Cbo,rror
+. Il. PARkHURST, J '''o"'
Committee on Education.
The Committee on Education will meet on Tues.
laws at , O'Clock p. NJ, at the office of the State
sHpernte4 dent of schools.
j. WYMAN PHILLIPS, ! ghotrrDon
GEORGE Il. WEEKS, ! ''
COMMITTEE on claims.
The Committee on CLAIMS Will meet in Room No.
la on Thursday of each week, at : clock P. NJ
until further notice.
q. LEARNED, I ,,hotrr,on
NJ. A. AUsriN, oha'rm'"'
Jodieiary CommiHee.
The Judiciary Committee will meet on Tuesday
and Thursday of each week, at :, o'clock in the
afternoon, in the judiciary room, until otherwise
ordered.
,iTr,3 GTFESLIET nIIsI T. sFrThNs' chairmen.
COMMITTEE on Manufactures.
The Committee on Manufactures Will meet on
Wednesday of each week at room No. III, at
O'Clock 7. NJ.
JOSEPH HORsoN, ,,hoir,ro,
J:R. BODwELL,
Tension COmmi6ee.
The Committee on Pensions will meet on Tues
DAYS at o'clock +. NJ. IN room No. rs.
", F; MOODY, Chairmen.
j. {. HOWLAND, J
Committee on State Lands and State H0qds.
The Joint Standing Committee on State Lands
and state Roads Will meet at the Land O1Ce, on
Tuesday OF each week at two O'Clock p. NJ.
PAHkERP, M BrRLEIdH' Chairmen.
Orangeburg times. [volume] (Orangeburg Court House [S.C.]) 1877-1881, 1878-12-07

The Gentle" women of Utah have
sent Il strong letter to Mrs. President
Hayes agair,t po'ygamy in that Ter
ritory. Some of their facts are these
THAT more of these unlaw iul and
unhulloweG alliances have been con
summated during tn" past year til an
ever before i'll the history of the Nor
mon Church; that endowment houses.
under the name oftemples, are being
erected in different parts of the coun-
try, costing millions; that the Legs
1ature is composed almost c itircly Of
polygamists and members of the Nor.
mon priesthood, and they haze
thrown around polygamy every I'oss-
IDLE safeguard in their power. The
right Of dover has been abolished to
break down the distinction between
the lawful wife and %concuhinc; aud
that the Mormons are rapidly extend
ing their settlements into Arizona,
Idaho, New Mexico and Wyomin T."
Up to date the applications for
pensions on account of the late war
amount, in round figures, to 500 ,00c
100000 of which were made by men
and 240,00G by widows.
Orangeburg times. [volume] (Orangeburg Court House [S.C.]) 1877-1881, 1878-12-07
The State Of South Cul Dina.
COUNTY.

okA NtrEBSl XII \OtNll.
~ C. Il. GLOVER, ESQUIRE, PROBATE JUDGE.
Whereas, George Bolivcr, c.. c. r, hath
made snit to me, to grant him Letters OF
Administration of the Estate and effects Of
John j. Salley, dcccas ed.
These are therefore to cite and admonish
all and singula, the kindred and Cicdi,or>
Of the said John j. Sallcy, late Of Orang.-
burg County, deceased, tina, they be and
appear, before III in lhr Court of Pro 'llr,
to be held III Dram ebnrg, q. H., OH the
9th December next. alter publication
thereof. ut II O'clock in the forenoon, to
show cause f;'ny they have, why the said
administration should not be granted
Given unuc, ~ Hand, III, SIN day Of
october. ammo inpmiiaI 1873
Ills T.. H.. GLOVER,
Judge Of & obale, Orang5urg County.
nov 2 I'd
Orangeburg times. [volume] (Orangeburg Court House [S.C.]) 1877-1881, 1878-12-07
vEGETENE
HAS ENTIRELY CURED Me-
R"sToS. O:t.,'lEa.

-. BOSTON. U:t, lTa.
f4' So Il, ia I"ht"-, ,f:.r h,vi-r a sevsrs
",it'kI ~ Wi".'rirE t''nSl:. wa, l"'i IL 4 fe"hle state
81 t'Hi'h. H"Iii= alsi>"'t ir = friend SHE t-i~d tho
' f"fiiS', and aft.r r-ins u few bottles WAS fully
rrctnr"i Il h"riir.
hay" been "a great sufsr"r FROM Eheama,isu,
i nA'o taken several bottles ~ III. SR1gTfgE for
! as '"'npiain'. rud rn happy tn nay A; has ea,ira.y
cured mo ! have Recommended the rETyrISH tg
others With the SAM" S"",i results. 1t is a sreat
taks ana l can rn-.rfuiiy recommend II.
JAMES MORSE, S5i A.heas Street
Orangeburg times. [volume] (Orangeburg Court House [S.C.]) 1877-1881, 1878-12-07
The State OF South Carolina,
ORANGEBURG COUNTY.

ORANGEBUEG COUNTY,.
by C. II. GLOVER, ESQUIRE, PROBATE JUDGE,
WHEREAS Lawrence ". Whalcy Of
Orangcburg County, hath made suit to me
TO grant him Letters Of Administration of
the Estate and effects Of Jacob q. kcitt,
deceased.
These are therefore to cite and admonish
al and singular the kindred and Creditors
Of the said Jacob G.. Kcitt. late of Orange
burg County, deceased, that they be
and appear, before me. in the Court Of
Of Probate, to be held at Orangcburg, G.. H..
on 9TH December next, after publication
hereof, at III O'Clock in the forenoon, to
show cause, if any they have, why the said
Administration should not be granted.
Given under my Hand, this 2od day Of
November ammo Domini 1878.
LIS. G.. b. GLOVER
Judge of Probate, 0rangcburg Count y.
nov23 Il
Orangeburg times. [volume] (Orangeburg Court House [S.C.]) 1877-1881, 1878-12-07
Rheumatism is a Disease Of the BIocJ.

The blood in this disease. is found 10 cor tain an c.-
,i,-.i from ,s diseased condition to a healthy ei-cn-
!a,.on: lt"sriHE regulates tho bowels which b
very important IN thus complaint. Ono bettlo of
Snset'ne VIII g',. relief: bat, to OBJECT . parmaaeu,
c''r-. u must ba taken regularly, and may tnko
s.y'Ial bottles. especially in cases Of long s,andirT.
SEIErISK Is rold ny oil Druggisto. Try Il, and roSr
Ss'di't vii be the same "a that OF thounnpdn bcicr1
,Sn. who ,ay i" ! never found SO much relief - free9
sive!y OF Bdrks, Roots and IcrGs.
Orangeburg times. [volume] (Orangeburg Court House [S.C.]) 1877-1881, 1878-12-07
Veg /: I line
WILL CURE RHEUMATlSM.
1tcad His Statement:

SrrIN"vALr, Nj. Oc.., L., 1876.
NE. ~. II Srt.FSs.-
.iEr;r :N'r.-tIff'sn years ngo lasi NIL I was taken
r'"E with r!Iuliria'i-in. was unable 10 move until Tic
nrt hpl!. From tIHt time Until 'ilr.u Sr,rs ax0
ilhs ;.l s.fI"-rrl everything With r,"iIns;i. rr,
Sometimes there ""rIii b' seeks n; n inns tina. I
cnnIi not step "n- step; fl"s. attacks were quito
.i'"n. i>iit':''i rv''r!t,inS that \ iuan C"uld. Over
t.f"' years ago last -pr..!s r"ruricn, 81 tAkir1
' E',ErI>F ini followed u up unit! had taken sewers
-, !"s Il v'hti NJ th''im:'ai' since that time.
! hlw - ''i,'-- every "T" inst T., troubled ~i;r
rh"i1itils'Ii u try \T.t FINE. aud nus s.Ecr f--
years ~ ! ,i?," d"n". ms ~'Htc'uurt = gr.ir:DGs
rs lar c. Mr. s'.vr..s is cun"-rit"! -, 80.
Ai.li:lt. j
f.rmofA. Croker i Co. Drussis!. / ApIEsssriua
Orangeburg times. [volume] (Orangeburg Court House [S.C.]) 1877-1881, 1878-12-07

"FEIrrrNC" say. q Boston physiciny "hao na
t1n.i as "a blood purifier; Hearing OF ito ensay Won
urIiui cures, Efter all other remedies had failed, z
genuine merit. Il IS prepared from b.rhs. rests cad
ishinc resulta."
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-02-21
The Lie Gideon Mellea.

Mr.. Welles was native of Connecti-
CUT, and remained a resident OF the State
from his birth Gully l, 1902 to his
death. He edited a Democratic paper
in Hartford from 1926 to 1887; was
Postmaster of that city from 1886 to
1841 held a seat in the State Legisla-
ture for eight years was head of bu-
reau in the Navy Department during
part of Folks administration was one
Of the fathers of the Republican party
helped nominate Lincoln for President
in 1860, and was Secretary Of the Navy
during the entire administrations Of
Lincoln and johnson. Entering the
department. at most critical period, he
succeeded in creating great navy, which
performed some very brilliant service,
besides an immense amount OF hard work
in blockading the whole coast of the
Confederate States. The appearance of
the rebel iron-clad Virginia in Hampton
roads at the beginning Of the rebellion,
where, by most fortunate chance. the
original Monitor met her, effected
complete revolution in naval warfare.
While Mr.. Welles was never credited
with the clustering energy of Stanton,
it is certain that great iron-clad fleets
were constructed with amazing rapidity
under his administration, and that. while
disasters followed the army in rapid sue
cession, most of which were chargeable
to perversity and lack of provision in
the department. at Washington, the navy
was almost invariably found in the right
place at the right time and suffered
comparatively few losses. Without
much of the pretentious self-assertion
which characterized his associates in the
Cabinet, Mr.. Welles performed his duty
to the country faithfully, and admins,
tered his department with as much en-
ergy and at least as great success as was
found in any other branch of the public
service throughout the war If not
what the world calls a great man, he was
at least able, faithful and untiring in
the discharge of a most important trust.
Chicago Times,
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-02-21
Stupid PeopIe.

We are often tempted in moments Of
forgetfulness to overlook the blessings
we owe to stupid people. Apart from
the pleasures we derive from laughing
at them, we are indebted to them for
hours Of tranquil happiness. Making
fun OF them is but q one-sided enjoyment
after all, for they cannot answer back
again, and are seldom good enough even
10 tuEp the other cheek. AS butts,
therefore, they are failures. You can
never calculate how far to go with them.
You may offend with a piece of trihing
banter after your most cutting sarcasms
have passed UNDECIDED. But the stupid
man is the backbone of the nation. He
is the prophet Of conraon sense. I'm
like Charles IT., he never says a witty
thing, but seldom does an unwise one.
His usefulness in the social economy
Of the world has yet to acknowledged,
his place in the order of creation to be
fixed. Yet such people form the bulk
OF every congregation, and down to their
level sermons must be preached. They
constitute the whole body of aggrieved
issl ea-a a 1c~xres a,os7gA E,o y,ol, ~,
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-02-21
Aching Heads and Uneasy Nerves

Are often soothed by Hostetter's Stomach Bit
ters, because that searching corrective com
excitement, which are to be found il the de-
rangement of the stomach, and of its associate
organs, the liver and bowels. 1t is truth
which cannot be too earnestly insisted upon, that
the effect of mere sedatives and narcotics, Like
bromide of potassium, valerian, chloral hydrate
and opium, ia less appreciable the longer they
are used, and that they can never permanently
relieve nervous excitability, because they can
not remedy the weakness and organic derange
ment which lies at tsroots. Hostetter's Bitters,
however, can and does cure nervous m&ladies,
for the reason already stated. Sick headache,
restlessness at night, vertigo, mental heaviness
and depression of spirits as well as the dyspeptic
condition Of the stomach, and torpidity Of the
liver and bowels, which give rise to them, are
entirely obviated by this benign alternative tonic.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-02-21

PHYSICIANS have long prescribed DR..
Graves HEART REGULATOR as a relief and
cure of Heart Disease, for the simple reason
that they have seen its favorable workings in
all the many forms Of disease the Heart is liable
to, and it can truly be recommended as q sci
entifc remedy Tor that dreaded of all Diseases
whose subtle workings are not usually seen I'M
til the patient is beyond ordinary help. Among
the many forms of Heart Disease are Palpita-
ton, Enlargement, Spasms OF the Heart, Stop
page of the Action of the Heart, Trembling all
over and about the Heart, Osslfcation or Bony
Formation of the Heart rheumatism, General
Debility and Sinking Of the Spirits. We can
pronounce DR.. Graves HEART REGULATOR
certain remedy, and advise you to use it.
Send your name to T. E. INGALLS,, Concord, N.
H., for pamphlet containing list of testimo-
malls of cures. etc.
For sale by druggists at so cents and 81 per
bottle
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-02-21
Desperate right with a Bear.

The New York World has thrilling
bear story from Goshen, N. Y. Mr..
John Ackert and three companions start
ed large bear from its nest and brought
it to bay on a ledge ten feet high, where
Ackert shot the animal as it was battling
with the dogs. The other hunters were
scattered about in the woods. Ackert
approached the PROSTATE animal and
shouted for his comrades. The bear was
not dead, and to the hunters surprise
arose to his feet and rushed toward him.
Ackert fred his other barrel, but did not
kill the bear, and in another second was
defending himself In hand to- hand
fight; The crust was so slippery that
the bear had the advantage, as the hun
ter could not keep his feet. and he
slipped and fell. The bear had him in
his embrace in moment. The move
ments Of the combatants had brought
them near the edge Of the rocks. AS the
bear threw his paws about the half-pros-
trate form of the hunter, the latter dealt
it o fearful blow with his hunting ak,
which felled the animal. The ground
was sloping, and the animal, maintain
ing lCs hOld or Ackert, slid toward the
edge Of the ledge, and before it could
get hold in the crust with its claws both
hunter and bear fell over the rocks, and,
striking the icy slope below. shot like a
cannon-bal down the mountain. Two
OF Ackerts companions came out upon
the rocks just as he and the bear went
crashing into the tangled laurels at the
foot of the ridge and disappeared in the
swamp. The hunters we're compelled
to make detour Of half mile to reach
the swamp They found Ackert sitting
with his back against a hemlock tree.
He was covered with blood, and his
clothing hung in tatters. He was alive,
but it was half an hour before he was
able to realize where he was and how he
got there. He remembered falling off
the rocks, starting down the mountain
Rugged by the bear, and crashing down
into the swamp, and that was ali. The
bear lay ten or fifteen feet away, covered
with blood, and dead
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-02-21

satisfy the requirements Of their several
cases. They are the voting power Of
every constituency; they oblige their
representatives to name a party and
stick to it; they pin him, as they say, to
his colors. They insist on defining
everything, particularly matters of opin-
ion, and think, when they have given q
heresy a name, that it is more than half
refuted. Yet they never understand
definitions when they have made them,
and, though they believe blindly in a
form of words, seldom remember it cor
rectly. They are led in politics by cries
and are great on uniformity and uni
forms.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-02-21
To Bonsekeeners.

The attention Of heads of families is respect
fully invited to the superior quality, in every
respect, of DooLEY's YEAST POWDER. 1t is en-
tirey free from adulteration of any kind, and
every package contains ABSOLUTE full weight.
Consumers should bear in mind the fact that a
strictly pure, full weight baking powder, al
though it costs q little more than the adulter-
ated, cheap, light weight, or bulk powders, Is
by far the cheapest, both IN purse and health.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-02-21
A Curious and Desperate Situation.

Curious ana desperate Situation
I5 has been said that extreme peril
and great anxiety have often turned
white in a few moments the hair of
people who have suffered. Ii this be SO,
then it is remarkable if the hair on the
head Of Sap" Hearley is as black as it
FUSED to was. " " Sap is colored b. },
about 90 years of age, employed by :
e. Ell. Welsh, in the little building 4
Baltimore street. He is also engage 10
attend the furnace connected with the
building. Yesterday morning, about
o'clock, while repairing the fire, he con-
Guided to step inside the furnace and
warm his hands before the fire that was
principally at the end opposite the door.
He had hardly entered the furnace be-
fore a violent gust or wind blowing
through the room dashed the iron door
shut with a hideous bang, and fastened
the poor boy in what seemed a sure and
horrible grave, for the flames were spring
ing up rapidly to devour their victim.
The closing Of the furnace door opened
the draught automatically. The doomed
boy raised wall of heartrending des-
pair, but no one heard him. Hopelessly
he commenced. kicking against the iron
door. Desperation put tenfold power in
his leg. He kicked long and well he
kicked hard and true he kicked as NOR
tai never kicked before The door be-
gan t. tremble on the hinges; one more
lunge and it few open. The boy sprung
out headforemost, sailing out into the
room serenely and gracefully as an ar
row from bow. He can point with
pride to that No. 10 boot it was the
thing that did the business. Cama5er-
tzqad Md Alleghaaaiofs.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-02-21

DIR. PIERcE's Golden Medical Discov-
cry will cure a cough in one-half the time ne
cessary to cure it with any other medicine; and
it does it. not by drying it up, but by removing
the cause, subduing the irritation, and healing
the affected parts. Sold by druggists.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-02-21

The Greatest Discovery Of the Age is Dr..
Tobias celebrated Venetian Lnment 30years before
the public and warranted to Diarrhea, Dysentery
Collie and Spasms taken internally; and Group Chronic
Rheumatism, Sore Threats, Cuts, Bruises, Old Sores
and Pains IN the Limbs, Back and Chest externally.
1t has never failed No family viii be without
after once giving it fair trial. Price, 40 cents. DR.
TOBIAS VENETIAN HORSE IMMINENT, in Pint
Bottles. at One Dollar Is warranted superior to AIRY
other. or NO PAY, for the cure Of Collie, Cats Bruises
Cd GcTcs, &c. Sold by ali Druggists DepotI0 Park
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-02-21

GEN. Crook thinks that Sitting Bull
will be compelled to come to the United
States in order TO hunt the bufaloes nee
essary for his subsistence; also, that
there is no possible way Of keeping him
from crossing the frontier. There will
be always more or less trouble TIL Sit
ting Bull is cleaned out.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-02-21

The old life preserver is what they call
Johnsons Anodyne Liniment way up in Maine
where it is made. This name is well deserved,
for it is the best lini1nent in the world. It viii
certainly prevent diphtheria, and win relieve
Group and asthma instantly.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-02-21

EXPOSE THE FRAUD. Patent medicine
vendors are now putting up Condition Powders
in packages as large as a niggerFs foot for Is
CENTS but they are utterly worthless. One
small package Of Sheridans Condition Powders
are worth dray load of them.
Two COPIES of THE CHICAGO LEDGER
sent to any address for five cents.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-02-21

Do YOU want a good Story Paper?
Such is THE CHICAGO LEDGER. Send five cents
for two copies.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-02-21

In France So per cent. of the murders
committed are for money; in Spain SO
Of every 100 murders are inspired by
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-02-21
ANY MAu llE SENSEI

Who wishes to dollars will send for free Price
We sell on trial We pay freight. Be your own Agent
and save commissions-Fve Ton Hay Scales, complete
(none better), $50. Send for free PriceList all size
Scales and judge for yourself. JONES OF BINGHAM
TON, Binghamton n Y
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-02-21
no CONSERVATIVES.

The advertiser having been permanently cured of
that dread disease, Consumption by simple remedy is
anxious to make known his feowsuerers the means
of To all who desire it. he will send copy of the
prescription used free of charged with the directions
for preparing and using the same which they will find
SURE CURE for CONSUMPTION, ASTHMA, BRONCHITIS,
&c.
Parties wishing the prescription will please address
REV. EDWARD A. WILSON,
1874 Penn Street. Wiliamsburgh, N. z.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-02-21
MEXICAN MUSTANG LIalMEN7- =
FOR MAN AND BEAST.
SANlAL- MOQl.

positive remedy for all diseases of the Kidneys
Bladder and Urinary Organs; also, good In
DrOpsical Complaints. Ttnever prOducessickness.
is certain and speedy in its action It fast supereng
all other remedies Sixty capsules cure in six eight
days. No other medicine can do this.
Beware of limitations, for, owing to its great sue
cess many have been offered some are most dangerous
causing piles, &c.
DUNDAs DICK & CO.'S Genuine SQfg Gap
szes. containing OH Of Sandal Wood sold at all Drug
Stores. Ask for circular or send for 35 and 81
Wooster street, Nea0 York.
GNU Nos
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-02-21

THE CHICAGO LEpGER-the best Story
Paper in the West Send five cents and get
two copies.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-02-21
Iss7EIIVI'}IE y!VaB

Buy THE BEST At HEADQUARTERS with the celebrated
PEl5EIAN 4 CoLIENDER COMBINATION CUSHIONS which
will De soo on tables OF my manufacture only future
as will not furnish them to any other manufactures
The finest tables, balls CLOTH cues c at lowest prices
Send for catalogue and reduced pricelist. ri. w.
COLLENDEEl. 1873 Broadway, New York, Successor
1878 to Phelan & CoIlender., 1878
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1878-11-01
4 Very Obtuse Witness.

Thackeray has been police reporting
for the London DiOgenes. Here is {
sample:
Pat Fogarty went all the way from
Manchester to London to thrash Mike
Fitzpatrick, which he did, winding ur
the performance with the assistance OF
an awful horseshoe He was detect.
ed and brought before Mr.. Justice Sim
pleman. A part OF the examination is
annexed.
Court-"Well, sir. you came here
from Manchester, did you?"
Pat Your Honor has answered cor
rect"
Court-"You see the complainant's
head; ii was cut by sharp instrument.
Do you know what cut it
Pat-"Ain't your Honor afther sayin'
that a sharp instrument did?'
Court becoming restive)-"1 see you
mean to equivocate. Now, sir, you cut
that head: You came here to do it, did
you not? Now, sir, what motive brought
you to London?"
Pat-"The locomotive, yer Honor"
Court (waxing warm >" Equivocat-
ing again. you scoundrel (raising up the
horseshoe and holding it before Pat) !;
do you zee this horseshoe, STRIP
Pat-"Is it horseshoe, yer HONOR
Court-"Dont you see it is, sir? Are
you blind? Can you not tell at once
that it is horseshoe"
Pat-"Bedad, no, yer Honor"
Court (angrily)-"No?"
Pat-"No, yer Honor. but can yerself
tell?"
Court-"Of course j can, yon stupid
Irishman.'
Pat (soliloquizing aloud)-"Oh, glory
be to goodness, see what education is,
yer Honor! Sure poor ignorant Great
ure like myself didn't know horseshoe
from mares"