Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1878-04-20
FACTS AND FAYUIES.


VERY few girls can spank pesDsr-
box as it should be spanked. an3 vot
they want to get married and rSiss
families. ~ 'ai'0
Mr.. WHEELER, of New Hamp,bire
who died worth Sll 600, seems To have
been a pleasant sort of man. His viii
says: ExPend it all on my tombstone
SOME girls in Pennsylvania were at,
tackled by rattlesnakes and frightened
them away by shaking their petticosts
Dear, dear why didn't Eve think of
that = Buffalo Express.
SAID young doctor to lady patient;
"YOu must take exercise for your health,
my dear" "All right" said she mi
jump at the first offer" They were
married about six mouths afterwards.
"DoEs your sister Annie ever ssva anv
thing about me, sissy2' asked an anx-
ious lover of a little girl. "Yes.n was
the reply; she said il you had rockers
on your snoes they'd make nice cradle
for my doll"
The first impression that the English
design on the American dollar gives YOU.
is that the eagle has Just been reused
from brown study by "a most awful and
unexpected swipe across the back with
stuffed club Hawkeye,
A YOUNG lady said pretty good thing
the other evening. She had many adj.
mirers among the limbs of the law, and
on being asked how she escaped heart.
whole, said she supposed it was owing to
the fact that in a multitude of ceun-
selors there is safety"
ENVY is the most inexcusable of all
the passions Every other sin has some
pleasure annexed to it, or will admit of
an excuse; envy alone wants both.
Other sins last but for awhile; the
appetite may be satisfied anger RENTS;
hatred has an end, but envy never ceases.
A READER asks US why it is that if
Shakespeare is the greatest writer of
English his style is not more frequently
copied. S'death, pry'thee, out upon thee,
man; hold, we know not, an vet /
charge thee, an thou love me, ah! all!
still, what are you giving usY-r New
York Herald"
ACCORDING to the spring fashion plates,
there is such similarity between the
apparel of ladies and gentlemen that a
married man will want to see red
patch on some of his clothes to avoid the,
blunder of getting on the wrong gar
ments when he gets up first in the morn
ing--if married man ever does get up
first.
AFTER man, who has always main
tained the highest standing in the relig-
iOus community, has once run across the
back yard after dusk and tried to cut
the cloths line in two with his chin, he
always has to explain to his Mortified
wife that he got into the habit of swear
ing in the army, And, very probably he
did, Hawkeye.
NOBODY who is afraid of laughing,
and heartily too, at his friend, can be
said to have a true aud thorough love
for him. and on the other hand it would
betray sorry want of faith, to distrust
friend because be laughs at you. Few
men, | believe, are much worth loving,
in whom there is not something well
worth laughing at,
OFFICIAL POETRY.
THERE have been a good many "sweet
singers " reported since she of Michigan
burst upon a waiting world, but the one
that takes the rag off the bush ia on the
Legislative Record. We find this stanza
scattered through its pages:
The question being,
Will the house agree 10 the bil2
1t was agreed to.
The title was read,
The question being,
Will the house egree - the title
1t was agreed to.
1t looks like poetry, if it isn't and it
has to be set in this shape because the
Record is paid for by the page. and the
shorter the lines the fatter is the con-
tractors "take. ."--- Lancaster Intelli'
! renCer,