Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1878-12-05
HUMOROUS.

England's note to Afghanistan-.eJybos
Emir!''
The sky, unlike man, is most cheerful
when the bluest.
Hungary would be all right were It
not for her miserable Diet.
The business of rag-gathering is pick
ingup.
A. Ward has considerable to do with
this fishery question.
No Irishman has a sinking of the heart
so long as there's bit of Cork in him.
'sI don't like winter,'' said one pick
pocket to another. Everybody has his
hands in his pockets"
Economy is wealth. Even the stove
pipe is coming out with its last winters
SCOT.
AFrench provincial play bill announces
that ssthe roles of thieves will be played
by amateurs of the town.
The manufacturer of a "ay paper"
wrote to publisher asking his terms for
| an advertisement on the hy-leaf Of book
'Look out for paint!'' shouted boy Ia
the gallery of a Chicago theatre when
the hero of the play kissed the heroine.
Would Ex-secretary Fish and the
Prince of Wales be the proper parties 70
adjust the fisheries difficultys
Ypsilanti, Michigan, is one of the few
Of the immortal American towns that
can't poke fun at the Afghanistan war
| names.
A Kentucky editor says that in one
| week he was addressed as Governor" I"
General" ''Colonel," 'sMajor," +" t'Par-
SOM and cold aoss.''
The Grecian Navy is composed entirely
of tug-boats. This is historical. "When
Greeks joined Greek, then was the tug OF
war"
William Angus to sleepy roommate:
"COme, John Henry, why don't you get
up with the lark, as do?" John Henry
grimly; ''Been up with him all night
A doctor went out hunting, and on COM
| ing home complained that-he hadn't Killed
anything. ''That's because you didn't
attend. to your business - said his wife.
"When a mans chin whiskers turn
gray before the hair on his head does, It
shows which part of him has done the
most work" observes philosophical eK-
change.
Said very good old man: s'Some
folks are always complaining about the
weather, but am very thankful when
wake in the morning and find any wealth
er at ALL"
"Doctor, my daughter seems to be go
| ing blind, and she's just getting ready
for her wedding, too! Oh, dear me, what
is to be done?'' s'Let her go right on
with the wedding, madam, by all means.
If anything will open her eyes, marriage
will"
A physician, finding a lady reading
Twelfth Night" said: "When Shakes
peare wrote about Patience on mOna-
ment, did he mean DOCTORS patientsf''
| ssNo," she answered; 'fyou don't ind
them on monuments, but under them"
A Kentucky paper remarks that the
look of intelligence assumed by the young
| LAWYER as he sits in court should be put &
stop to. It is calculated to cause the pre-
siding Judge to lose confidence in himself,
| to make him believe he doesn't know any
thing.
A certain little girl up town lived with
two aunts, one married with a whole lot
of children, and lots of worry and bother,
| and the other single, and having quite
comfortable time teaching school. The
child had eOntrasted the situations, but
was not old enough to understand the diff
! ference in the position Of her two rela-
tives. One day she threw her doh aside,
and assumed an attitude of profound
thought, which was interrupted at last
by the question, 'Fwen, Julia, what ara
you thinking about?'' When the child
let loose a ten-acre lot full of crude phil
osophy by answering: 81 was dnkin'
whever, when crowd up, I'd teat stool
or have baby !''- Cincinnati Times.