Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1878-08-02
MELANGE.


has generally been observed that pen,
ink, and paper are always stationery.
az do not wish your assertions to pass
for truth, madam. ."-"You can easily pre-
vent it, sir, by repeating them yourself"
Those men talk most who are in the
greatest mental darkness; frogs cease
their croaking when Lights brought to
the water-side.
An Illinois editor says that his party is
on the verge of a precipice, but calls
loudly upon it to march steadily ahead.
He is bad leader.
A short time ago, man became so
completely " wrapped in thought" that
he was tied up, labelled, and sent off ON
the "train of ideas"
That was smart youngster, who, hear
ing his mother remark that she was fond
of music, exclaimed, Then why don't
you buy me drumY
Darling, Kiss My Eyelids Down" is
the latest .'oonshine song, and he kisses
them down and up and crosswise and all
around, and then settles on her mouth as
steady thing.
"I say, jim, +" said one friend to another,
on meeting, "I hear our friend A has
been in speculation heavily. Has he
made anythingPp "Yes," said Jim, che
made an assignment"
The publisher of a neighboring paper
prints in each issue chapter of the
Bible, and, upon being ridiculed for it
bv his cotemporaries, remarks editorially:
ave publish nothing but what is news
to our readers"
An @Out West" editor who has been
threatened with fourteen libel suits has
hit upon an ingenious plan. AS soon as
he writes up his paper he sets one OF his
reporters to work manifolding apologies,
and places one in each subscribers paper.
The Paris Figaro discusses the question
as to whether men should offer the right
or the left arm to ladies at balls and
dinner-parties. It decides in favor of
the right, at least when offered by mar
rieG men, and considers that the left,
being nearest the heart, should be given
only to their wives.
They were contributing towards
fund for the extinguishment- of the
church debt the other evening at a meet
ing of West Newark congregation. I'm
contribute S20," said one brother. "I'l
go $50 better, and make it $780," said
another brother. And then the first con-
tributor, in the excitement of the
moment, said: "I'll call you; what have
you gotF
Nh. John Wanamaker, of Philadelphia,
whose fame as a shrewd business man is
almost national, says, in letter to the
Times of that city, that business that
cannot be advertised in some way is
hardly worth following" He prefers
legitimate newspaper advertising to any
other kind, and evidently knows what
he is talking about. 5tAF'iaIi t4'
-'Pull out, Bill" shrieked an engi-
neer's son to one of his playmates, a
brakeman's boy, who was in Imminent
danger of getting smashed by his moth
eT, who was coming after him, "Get on
the main line and give her steam! Here
comes the switch enginep But before
the juvenile could get in motion, she had
him by the ear, and he was laid up with
hot box. " A,.as..-l t.e .ts
"A Dutchman, the other day, reading
an account of meeting, came to the
words, @the meeting then dissolved"
He could not define the meaning of the
latter, so he referred to his dictionary,
and felt satisfied. In few minutes
friend came in, when Honty said, "Dey
must have VERY hot wedder dere in
New York. I ret al agount of meet
ing we're all de peoples had melted away"
-Timid travellers can avoid all dan
ger by leaving the train, at the station
preceding the place where the accident
Is to happen. Conductors who feel for
| humanity, cannot do better service to
mankind than to have the above hint
printed on their checks. When think
| how many valuable lives might have
| been saved, if the direction given in the
above hint had been followed, OIL how
bad I feell a-
The discovery of the liquefaction of
all gases was made as early as 1923 by
Mr.. Perkins, who in a brief notice in
Thompson's "Annals of Philosophy" of
that year, and in a more elaborate paper,
intended to be read before the Royal so
ciety, and published in '0The Philosoph-
ical Transactions" of 1926, distinctly
claims that he had effected the liquefac-
ton of atmospheric air and other gases.
The apparatus he employed was much
ike that used by NM. Pictet and Gail
etet.
An old darkey who was asked in
| his experience prayer was ever answered,
! replied, "Well, sab, some pra'rs is ansud
and some isn't-'pends on what you axes
fo', Jest arter de Wah, W en- it was mighty
hard scratchin' fo' de cullud breddren.
I 'bserved dat w'enebber pway de Lo'd
to sem one o Marse Peyton's fat turkeys
10 de ole man, dere was no notice took
of de partition but wen l pWay dat he
would sem de ole man fo' de turkey. 6e
matter wus tended to befo' sun-up nexi
nornin', dead sartinp
in The american Naturalia for April
Edwin A. Barber collects further evi-
| dence of the solar worship in North
America. Summing up, he finds vestiges
Of that form Of feti0hism in the ruins of
Toltec and Aztec temples and pyramids,
and in the statues which were placed
within them; in the traditions and OBJ
servances of the semi-civilized tribes at
the present day in the hierogIyphics
and symbols of most of the tribes an
| cient and modern; in the positions of
ruined stone-houses, and in the orienta-
ton of the dead in graves.
fare the children safeT Quite safe
we assure you. They are up in the gar
ret playing hotel fire. Jimmie is the
clerk, and is trying to slide down the
water pipe to the ground. Willie is
guest, hanging to the window sill and
waiting for the flames to reach his hands
before he tries to jump to the shed roof,
two stories below, and Tom is heroic
fireman, and has tied his fish-line around
the baby's body, and is letting it down
to the ground. Oh, yes, the children are
all right Just finish your call and don't
fret about the children.
1t is not gold nor goods, that makes
man really wealthy. The best wealth
is of the heart, an enlightened mind, a
loyal conscience, pure affections. He is
wealthiest who has the largest stock of
wisdom, virtue and love, whose heart
beats with warm sympathies for his
fellow man-who finds good in all sea-
sons, all providences, all men. The GEN
erous man who pities the unfortunate;
the poor man who orders well his life
the loving man who Clipgs closely to
his family and friends; the studious
man who seeks instruction in ell things
are the truly wealthy men.
With blanched cheeks and welled
eyes all Christendom yearns to learn the
number of aDDles Adam ond r. - =: