Connecticut western news., 1878-06-20
WIT AND WISDOM.
La as a dve-Indiro.

"a
 True as dye-Indigo. " o'a -Headquarters- hatter's store.
 Signs of peace-a patchwork quilt {,
 -The man who knows he knows noth- ing has more knowledge than member {, of Congress. .. aJa oerBG sil
 Some men are 80 awful slow that the s only time they get ahead is when they
 buy a cabbage. a@a3ss se.1slt IA Yonkers horseman calls his latest 1a purchase Regulator, because all the other horses go by him. .@HgrR9s' 14N -Takc at least one good look ct a s cocoanut, young man, before you have your head moved and sand-papered. 'e'ns At Rome do as the Romans do that
 is to say, get hand-organ and sore eyed monkey and start for America. 'y' Two twin brothers are said to be 50 as much alike, that they frequently borrow As l money of each other without knowing it. That was clever boy who said that 0 he liked "good rainy day-too rainy to < go to school, and just rainy enough to
 go fishing ''e ,'7'-
 A saddle horse in the habit of break ing his hitch strap and running away should be called Timon, because Tinnon q tide waits for no man. '' 'si1't' N''N' l -"Surely you must be tired, aunty. I
 cant think how it is you are able to work
 so long" " Bless you, my dear, when
 I onst sits down to it like, I'm just too
 lazy to leave off" ...s,.'. ,,'' l People who attempt to convince
 sewing machine agents that they have not the best machine in the world should l remember that time thrown away can never be recalled. ~ taa; ,,ss,.E Persons who go to Paris .greens' !y l come home looking mighty ''blue. :" The ul visitor is charged ten cents for a match B. and twenty-five cents for candle which g he doesn't use, and other necessaries in | proportion. I, nemaa vu,.i jaaf g1 | -" If you want to sleep we'll lay your ,a feet to the South, says amedical jonrsi nal. If you have big feet we, suppose, q, you have a right to lay it to something, sa but hasn't the poor South had enough d laid to it? u.g. Hasl.slsi sii I..a 83tsE lg l On being asked why he went into !, bankruptcy, he replied :d" Well, my Q liabilities were large, my inabilities 5 numerous, and my probabilities unprom- & ising, and so thought I'd do as my Il neighbors do." a.G i5.I39 ai ia}l l "A door knob fitted to receive and
 exhibit the photograph of the head of
 the house has been invented. They will ! probably have slow sale until families 6 can determine who is the head of the g. house. s1t Hf 'V Ggi7'7a! isoa The sermon of the best preacher in 19 the world will not make as much impress sion upon the congregation as the sud-, den pattering of rain on the window panes of church containing two hum < dred new spring bonnets. sos TrnI | The other day distinguished Gter- ary man was crossing the Boston Com c mon, when a policeman, observing him E treading upon the grass, growled,
 Don't you see that sign, Keep off the 2 grass ?'' Certainly do,"a was the !. reply. "I am doing all can to keepat off!" ~sgss.s e-r,.%.. -s,.,s ,.t,,a,ss.-,y |
 An exchange says that doing busi-
 ness without advertising IS like winking
 at pretty girl with green goggles on.
 But there's some little difficulty about this statement. In the first place man
 who doesn't advertise doesn't do any
 business to speah of, and pretty girls are not in the habit of wearing green gog-
 gles. .,,,s,a
 William Joseph, of Ackley, La,
 while drying his head with towel,
 rubbed off every hair, besides eyebrows,
 mustache and whiskers. It must have
 been a printing office towel. The p. o.,
 towel. it may be we'll to explain, is ire
 ouently used by the foreman to rasp off
 a brass rule when he can't find the file.
 What to him was love or hope2
 What to him was joy or care He stepped
 on plug of Irish soap the girl had left
 on the topmost star, and his feet flew out
 like wild, fierce things, and he struck
 each stair with sound like @ drum and
 the glrl below with the scrubbing things laughed like fend to see him come. d,al, A lady addicted to novel reading wes
 80 forcibly struck by passage which a alluded to the neglect of children and q the sad consequences that she exclaimed, h ,, , without lifting her eyes from her book:
 Henrietta, where is your little sister 2" , "Down stairs, mother" '''Well, my, , dear, run right down, see what she is do1ng, and tell her to stop immediately" !, ? In the course of the season that time has arrived when the young man sits out : on the front steps with the idol of his l soul and talks sentimental slush and t thinks he would be in heaven if he were $ married, whereas the girls old man, who i q has been married for some period, probes around the house with Q kerosene lamp,
 looking for some cold grub for his sup s per, and he smiles a smile suggestiyeof
 sad experiences when he refiectso that he
 was once young and beautiful himself, 3 and as big 8 fool as the young man on
 the stoop.