Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-01-20
THE WRONG UMBRELLA.
An Everyday story.

An Everyday story.
1t is lamentablc that the moral sense OF
mankind takes so little account of the
rights of property as regards books and
umbrellas. Many people who are, in most
respects, excellent members of society
will borrow books without stint, and if
they do not return them minus the covers,
will keep them without compunction,
and when you hint that they have had
them rather long, will mutter, "Confound
the fellow does he think I want to steal
his books?' I have had differences with
my best friends on this score, and have
even been asked whether had not better
fine everybody who retained my valuable
volumes beyond fixed time, as il were
a village library. Such insults have been
born with meekness, because [ have al
ways remembered with remorse how I
once revelcd in the thought Of having
made away with Johnson's umbrella.
The laxity Of public morals in the
matter OF umbrellas is truly awful,
but retribution will sometimes ovcrtake
him who plots against his neighbours
parachute. Let me tell how it overlook
me:
A long time ago was madly enamored
Of Mary Jane Bowlcs. Mary Jane was
what you would call pocket Venus, and
often have been tempted to tuck her
under my arm, like a packet Of sugar,
and fly to the nearest desert island. She
was an artless girl and very fond of So
'ciety-especially the society of young
men with whom was not on terms OF
ardent friendship. l did not blame her
for this, and when she invited me to tea,
and I found that Johnston had also been
invited, my discerning eye observed that
this was not coquetry. but pure exuber-
ancc OF spirits. Mr.. Bowles, noticed,
was of the same opinion, and it was a
great satisfaction to me to have my judy
mont confirmed by so experienced a
parent. Mrs. Bowles, had she been alive,
would no doubt have agreed with us.
l had known Mary Jane since she wore
short frocks. johnson had known her
about a month. It was pleasant to hear
her call me Sam and him Mr.. Johnson,
but somehow the familiarity in my case
seemed to have bred not contempt.-O
dear, no! nothing of that kind-but sort
OF nonchalance OF manner. (How useful
the French language is when one wants
to express a very delicate shade OF mean
ingD But that was her artlessness.
''Dear me, SAM she observed, at the
teatable, "what have you got such long
ace for?"
Johnsons attentions had made me a
little pcnsive.
Something must be long to make up
tor the prevailing shortness,n said.
Johnson was much taller than Mary
Jane. I made note Of that sarcasm
afterward. My impromptus was too often
lost,
don't he impcrtinent, sir! Look into
chat spoon. Your face is exactly like the
reflection you see there--isn'tit Mr.. John
son.
He grinned
1t was then observed for the first
time tho singular breadth Of his visage.
His grin seemed to extend across the
room.
eff Mr.. Johnson will hold the spoon
horizontally, he may admire his own i'm
age | remarked, playfully
johnson grinned again. He was one
of those insanely good naturcd men whom
it is impossible to annoy.
Sam, you are outrageous" said Mary
Jane ''Nlr. johnson and are going to
practice our duet. You stop here and
talk to pa
Mr.. Bowles had to be aroused from the
doze into which he usually dropped after
tea. 1t was in that habit that my pene-
tration had detected his conviction that
Mary Jane was an artless creature.
Pa woke up, and asked me what were
my views on tramways. His compost
ton was fine crustY conversation, and
he disliked innovations. His port wine
was fine and crusty, too; but that is by
the way.
I listened to the duet overhead, and
had Il very distinct idea of what the old
gentleman said, and of what l was saying
myself. cannot sing, but it was not for
that reason that objected to the prepos-
tcrously operate way in which johnson
was conducting himself.
''Tramways, my dear sir, arc, as you so
justly observe. the chief scourge of man
kind. From their earliest times they have
been noted for their hostility to human
virtue, and
II have lands and proud dwellings,
And all shall be thine"
sang johnson, up stairs.
"And it is, as you say, monstrous that
landed proprietors and bloated house
holders should override the popular pro-
test in this matter, especially as we know
that-that for purposes of drainage tram
ways are"
"My dear boy, you are not WE'LL, inter.
rupted Mr. Bowles, kindly. "Have glass
Of Wine"
When I left the house that evening
was thoughtful. 1t struck me that John
son had Mary Jane in his minds eye
could not damage that organ Of vision, SC
decided that nothing would be gained
by hitting him. But something would
have to be done. I wanted to marry
Mary Jane. She WIS charming girl
and her father had little money.
My suspicious about johnson were con
firmed next day I met a lively friend
who said: