The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1878-08-02
A Friendly Talk with Girls.

You asked me the other day, Daisy,
what it was that made our friend, Mrs.
Morningbright, so charming. "Iler coming
into ROOM" you said, sis the coming in
of IA sunbeam" Everybody feels better in
her presence. | agree with you, for too
have felt cheercd and strengthened by an
hour with that lovely lady, whose graceful
presence and cordial words are welcome
wherever she goes
"It's her manner, Daisy, isn't IT, re-
Piled.
And so you have given me my text. 1t
is not possible to over-estimate the impor-
lance Of a polished and winning manner,
provided there he with it something
more" For manner onght always to be
the outgrowth and necessity of character,
never the finish painfully put on from the
outside. 1t is Il thing that ought to begin
with the acorn and go on through the sue.
cessive stages of the tree, till close, fine
grained, smooth and consistent, it is part
of the tree itself Do you know what
provoking piece of furniture that bureau,
was, that used to stand in your room at
S. The least jar or knock, and off would
fall piece ofthe vencering, till, by and by,
what with fractures and repairings, and
places that delied your skill to glue, the
bureau was the most unsightly thing in
the house. But there was the oaken ward
robe in Aunt Pollys chamber, with the
natural polish on it, a solid, stately, sub
stantial structure, Of which the workman
need not be ashamed. Those two pieces
Of furniture have often stood in my mind
for the two great types of character, and
the two schools of manners which they de-
velop: Real and sham. All artificial
manner, whether worn by queen or
servant, i'll so far as it is put on, and fails
to grow from within, is of the nature that
nothing explains better than the expressive
word "sham." All sweet, honest, pure,
characteristic manner comes from the
"real."
Company manners" The phrase re-
minds me OF another you sometimes hear
Sunday religion" 1t is of the very cs-
scnce good manners, that it shall be good
and sweet at home, as it is of the essence
Of true religious experience, that it shall
bear fruit every day. For whom, if not for
the dear ones around the home table, shall
we be courteous and kind For strangers
who meet us and forget us in a moment
us, or our belongings? Yet this is the
plan of those who keep their politeness for
company" The trouble is that in some
moment of forgctiulness that may be found
out, a jar will come and the vencering will
iall--thc studied speech will be forgotten,
and the rudencss which is habitual will
crop out. If anywhere politeness is a duty
and privilege, it is in the home circle
Let the manner there be gracious and
pleasant, and it will be so, without effort,
everywhere else. All real poiteness
springs from loving nselfshness, and in
the lowliest home there is always room for
this.
Emily tells me that she is exercised with
regard to her manner with gentlemen.-
She appears to have an idea that some pc
cuiar grace or dignity is requisite where
the other sex is concerned. My dear child,
your manner in the company of a gentle
man should be precisely the same as in the
company of lady--no more, no less
With both you should be gentle, modest
and refined. No special difference is ne
ccssary. Be yourseli-and don't think
about yourself. Much of the awkwardness
and diilidence which pains ones self and
others, comes from too much thought
about the impression one is making.
1t is the vice of too many young people,
and of their elders too, that, in these days,
enough respect is not felt for the aged and
for those in authority. | say, "lclt," for if
it were felt il would be shown. An aged
person is entitled to seemly tenderness and
thoughtful courtesy from those who are
younger. Nothing sets the stamp of vul-
gar coarscness more plainly on ones breed
ing, to use strong, old fashioned word,
than disregard of the feelings and nfirmi.
ties of the old. SO, Daisy, when I see you
giving your seat in the street car to a thin
ly clad, elderly washwoman, and pressing
it upon her when she hesitatcs, because of
your dainty silk and primrose glove, to ac-
cept it, | say to myself: "Our Daisy is
lady" When in the crowded boat saloon,
you yield your rocking chair to the pale
mother, with the teethng babe in her arms,
| know you have learned the sweetness of
your manner from Him who pleased not
HIMSELF"
There is the secret. We get it from our
dear Lord-his words-hs example-his
lovely life. Study your Bible if you wish
to know where are the springs of all that
is precious in daily living. For "ovc is
the fulfilling OF the law" and a hearty
love for Christ needs must bear such bios
SONS of love to our neighbor as to make
our manner to him warm, earnest, hopeful
and sympathetic BaltimOrean.
"A lady was reading to her four-year
old boy the story of a little fellow whose
father was taken i'll and died, after which
the youngster set himself diligently to
work to assist in supporting himself and
his mother. When she had finished the
story she said, "Now, Tommy, if papa
were to die, wouldn't you work to help
mamma ?" "Why, ma" said the little fel-
low, not relishing the idea of work, "What
for Amt we got "A good house to live
in ?" ooh yes, my child" said the mother,
''but we can't eat the house, you know"
"Well, amt we got plenty of things in the
pantry" said the young hopeful. Seer
tainly, my DEAR" replied the mother, "but
they will not last long-and what then 2"
"Well ma" said the little incorrigible,
"Ain't there enough to last till you get