Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1878-04-24

Spoons. So while Wash trod noise
lessly frontward, Simpson stepped
stealthily to the rear. Midway in
the hall they came into collision.
Each felt perfectly certain that the
other was the burglar.
Wash grappled with his antagon-
list instantly. Simpson knew that
death struggle had begun, so he
took hold with all his might. Meth
er had chance to draw his weap-
ons.
Wash strove to throw his burglar
down, and Simpson, perceiving the
game, made a huge effort to pros
trate Wash. They pushed and
pulled. and jerked, and showed, and
painted, humping up against the
wall. kicking up the carpet, and
making such a hubhub that Mrs.
Simpson, upstairs in her room,
screamed with awful vehemence.
After fearful and desperate
struggle, during which Wash had
his coat torn to rags and couple
of handfulls of hair pulled out, and
Simpson had his nose jammed
against n chair until it felt as if it
had swelled TO the size Of water
melon, Wash let go moment to
get his breath. Therenpon Simp-
son made a rush for the front stairs
quietly in the dark, and Wash,
pretty well scared and tired of war,
dashed off up the back stairs, re-
solved to 60 and see why Simpson
didn't come down and help wipe
that burglar out.
AS Simpson got to the landing,
he saw Wash's form, by the dim
light from the bathroom, in the
back entry.
who's that 7" shouted Simpson,
nervously, feeling for his revolver.
"Me, WASH" replied his brother
in-law.
Simpson went to him and said:
"Thunder and lightning, Wash !!
Why didn't you come down soon
err"
"Sooner Why, where've you
been9 I've had the most awful
time you ever heard Of"
"So've l." replied Simpson.
"There's burglar in the house, and
I've been tearing him to pieces"
"You don't sayl Why, my
gracious I've had fight with one,
too; and'I think ! laid him out"
"You did? Where ?"
"Why, down stairs there, in the
front entry"
"Not in the entry, you don't
mean 7"
eyes" said Wash, ain the entry;
nearly banged the head off of him.
Where was your man 7"
"Wby, in the entry, too. Queer
l didn't hear you"
at is queer" replied Wash, "be-
cause ! hammered his nose against a
chair until it must be mashed fiat"
"Whose nose7"
"The burglars; and he tore my
coat to rags and pretty near scalp
ed me-"
"Who did"
"The burglar"
Simpson was silent minute, and
then he said:
"Come here to the light"
They entered the bath room, and
Wash looked at Simpson, and Simp-
son looked ut Wash.
"Wash,' said Simpson.
"What9" said Wash.
"Wash. you're the biggest idiot
in orr State. Hang me if / don't
believe you've been fighting with
me. Look at my nose"
"No! You don't say? Did you
pull out your burglar hair, and
splinter up his coat ?"
"Pm afraid | did, said Simpson.
"Mr. Simpson" said Wash, calm
ly, "If there is bigger fool on the
continent than / am, think | can
lay my hand on the man a party
by the name of Jim Simpson,
Just at this juncture Mrs. Simp-
son flew from her room, down the
hall way and into the bath room
where she fell on her knees, clasp.
ed her hands and shrieked:
"Save me, James, oh save me
save me Don't let me he mur
dered. Don't don't, oh don't ("
Simpson looked sheepishly a
Wash; then, without saying ,
word, he seized Mrs. Simpson b,
the arm. ran her over to her bee
room and slammed the door. The,