The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1878-10-24
ALL SORTS.
IT is mournlul to see man more'n
full IVhHcb0U Times.

IT is mournlul to see man moren
full IlhHcb0H Times.
Ur and down the shingIe goes
Above the seat Of knowledge
This Is the way, the teacher knows
To make boys smart for college.
--HHitpdier Zimmerman,
Az observing politician says that the
difference between those going in and
those going out Of office is mainly this
The former are sworn in, and the latter
90 ont swearing.
Tnn difference between an eXecutione,
and pugilst is simply this; The
former dcvotes himself to taking heads
off men and the latter to putting heads
on thcm.-AJany .jownal
"MR. b, did you say, or did you
not say, what said you said?-heGause
c. said you said you never did say
wha, said you said. Now, if you did
say that you did not say what said you
said, then what did you say?
GYM sorry, Mr. Wilson, to see this
splendid field of potatoes so seriously
diseased, " said a sympathetic INSPECTOR,
"Awccl it's a great pity" replied the
farmer; "but there's comTort--Jack
Thomyon's is no Il bit better"
on, rive us the month with the rolicks1wc II,
That hrngcth the yCllrwSone yam,
That waftpth the breeze Of the brine from adr,
And bcareth tie oyster and clam.
We ycomcn that yowl for the narrowing yam,
We overs that oysters provide,
Ye campers that claw for the cammySOme clam,
'"'' ''''''''' Wy '''.''' ~ Louis JomncL
OVER bridge at Athens, Ga, is the
following: "Any person driving over
this bridge at faster pace than a walk,
shall, if white person, be fined five
dollars, and if a negro, receive twenty
five lashcs-l aIf the penalty to be be-
slowed on the informer."
WHEN would-be-witty paragrapher
falls up against what he thinks is a
funny idea and stopping to sharpen his
rcncil, the idea goes of on visit some
where, and cannot he recalled, he is sorry
he has not been educated for II wood
sawyer BreakjdSt Table.
THE religious papers Of England are
discussing the momentous question,
Ought clergymen to wear mustachcsT'
We tn nix, as cold weather comes on,
they should, and on days of extreme
severity they might add pair Of
trousers and thick yest.-Ha~kcyc.
A FACETIOUs brakeman on the Cen
tral Pacific Railroad cried out AS the
train was about entering a tunnel.
" This is one mile long and the train
will be four minutes passing through
it," The train dashed through into
daylight again in four seconds, and the
scene in the car was Il study Tor 4
painter. Seven young ladieswere closely
pressed by seven masculine arms, four
teen pair of lips were glued together, and
two dozen inverted whisky TASKS
flashed in the air.
"HUMBOLDT saw on the slope of the
Cerra Drda shirt-trces fifty feet high
trees from which the Indians procured
their shirts" A shirttrce is decided
novelty, and if it could only be grated
50 that it would also bear trousers and
vests and coats and boots, Il tree agent
could sell lots of 'em for more than fifty
cents apiece. The owner of several acres
of such trees would have to employ an
entire military company to watch his
orchard when loaded with fruit, or shift
less tramps would rOt it every night.
THE GRAPE.
See the azuIe-tnted grape
Grateful grape
What world Of cOCOSity
The children would escape
Ii by any art Of learning
And by any mode Of turning
They could learn
How to turn
From the grape
As II dang 'cs on the vine
With its entras fell OF wine,
There's detected in its shape
All the horrors
And the sOrrOrs
That betide the hearsc and Grape;
Yet we grapple with the grape
And we grope through all the groupings
OF the gripings of the scrage-
Oh, the grape, grape, grape,
Grape, grape, grape,
Oh the group Of graphing gripngs OF The
grape 81. Louis Journal
A FINE tooth comb has been found in
an old chimney of house in Green
wich, where General Putnam is said to
have resided. The comb is marked "
F., l77S," and the local paper says, t" II
was undoubtedly the property of the
General" The picture this suggests of
the redoutable soldier turning from
the CAPTURE of IIessians to the capture of
other depredators upon patriotic blood,
and then restoring his sanguined uten-
sill to its recess in the chimney corner,
is calculated to recall yididly the primi'
tive and simple manners of " the times
that tried mems souls"-and occasion
ally their caputs.-,Tamtord Adrocdte.
DoN'T take away our pockets, Dame
Fashion," implores lady-believer i'll
them. They are not worn. What then
are we to do with our keys, pencil, and
thimbles? What misnomers, then, are
pocket-boOks and pOcket-handkerchiefs
The masculine portion of the family
have pockets in coats. and vests, 50
many and various that We wonder at
the numerical calculation it must re-
quire to keep track of them all, and adj
mire the skill with which they so readily
find their belongings. Shall we submit
to the inconvenience of having none AT
ALL and be forced to carry purse and
handkerchief for ever in our hands,
which we so often need for other Pui'
poses? 1t is with feelings akin to envy
! that we remember the substantial ca,
pacious pockets of our mothefs sn9
grandmothers, in the good old-iashioheu
davs. Made out Of stout hoiiano, ny
wers fled about their ample WAISTS IA
tho morning, when they rose win the
,a 'nu "io -, begin the labors OF the day.
surelv un In these days of invention and
;mnroyement We may expect equal con
veniences-