Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-07-20
A BREEZE IN CHURCH.
The Scda1uJ Which I0itated the Fashion
d6te C0ngfeDatto" on Ttccnty-Sirth st.
Tphi1adelphia rTimas

Tn" Scdndut Which A1itated the Fashion
dbte C0ngreDatto'. on Ttccnty-SiIth st.
philadelphia Times
The July sun blazed with bright and burn
ing beams on the roof of the fashionable
church on Twenty-sixth street, and not
breath of breeze was astir to wakeR the con-
gregation into life. The atmosphere was
pervaded with drowsiness The preacher
sat himself down heavily in his seat on the
pulpit sofa and wiped his perspiring brow
with huge handkerchief, the gift of some of
the most cody women in the congregation.
81 am hot'' seemed to be stamped all over
him. The warm weather had come on una
wares after the long damp spell, and had
taken the people by surprise. The fans of
the previous season had long ago been
carried out of church and slowed
away, or else had become SO di-
lapidated with a summers wagging as
to be permanently retired from active SER
vice. The flies, apparently aware of the
emergency in which an overheated congrega-
ton found itself, were present in unusually
large force, it being estimated by reliable
church officials, without the trouble of an
actual count, as it was found difficult to in
duce the flies to hold still long enough to be
counted, that there were about seventy-tive
flies in attendance for each man, woman and
child in the sanctuary. These FESTIVE and
unprincipled insects busily buZzed about
the heads of the people, pleasantly lodging
the blows aimed at them with parasols and
hymn books. and We're in no wise discouraged
by their unfavorable reception.
1t was a great relief to the suffering con-
gregation to see that, just at the time when
the costly quartette choir began to render in
an unknown tongue something which was
supposed to be meant for an anthem OF
praise, the sexton and his boy entered at diff
ferent doors, armed with bundles of fans. AS
parched and thirsty travellers in desert
land grasp at vessels of water Unexpectedly
set before them and greedily Stake their thirst
without awaiting the arrival of some learned
chemist to analyze the cooling draught, Sc
did these overheated and perspiring worship
pers unceremoniously reach for the fans a.
the sexton and his boy deposited them two
by two in the pew. The fans, being no
of the old fashioned palm-leaf variety
but of the open-and-shut kind, the
were easily and promptly opened and pu
in service. With eyes lifted towrrd HEAVIER
or rather toward the church ceiling, whic
: intercepted the view of all that to us is EN-
5 blematic of the better land-the peopl
seemed to be gratefully breathing out ben
ediction of thanksgiving as they briskl
kept their fans in motion, and secured a
, artificial breeze which cooled them as efet
tually as if it had been waited directly fror
t the spice bearing shores of Araby the bles
o But all 1T once there was an unlooked-fo
e disclosure. About the time when the noise
: makers in the choir gallery had come to th
= conclusion of their unintelligible exercls
the pastor was giving himself an extra bit {
: refreshment with his fan in view of his az
preaching labors. He had not been neglec
e ed in the distribution, for the sexton's DO.
a obliging lad that he was, had mounted til
e pulpit steps and received from the pastor
:. grateful and approving smile as he hande
~ him one of the fans. While the pastor VIZ
= cooling himself by violently wagggging tn
. fan before him, deacon in the front se
e who was just as violently keeping his ow
g fan in motion, happened to look up to Il
: pulpit. His astonished eyes beheld on Il
le pastors fan, printed in great staring letter
le s.Buy Boggles' Bitters." Without dels
~ he assembled the pulpit steps and quietly e
er changed fans with the Dominic without
to word of explanation. Tossing the ofensi
lie fan in bitter indignation under the pew sec
i'd he seized another one, which was lying on I
1e adjacent cushion, and commenced waving
ne in front of himself. Again he looked at t
= pastor, but what was his CONSERVATION tt
re- time to find that the fan which was ne
IN cooling the ministerial brow was legibly
be scribed. s.Use Slimmins' Soap!' The min
ii ter, who had not noticed either inscriptie
and who was annoyed at having the deac
y rush up to him second time, asked Il
). troublesome official what was the matter WI
= the fans. The deacon answered by spread