The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1878-11-06

She must have been a model wife,
too, for it cost Adam nothing to keep
her in clothes.
Still | don't think she was happy.
She couldn't 60 to sewing circles
and air her information about every
body she knew, nor excite the envy of
other ladies by wearing her new spring
bonnet to church.
Neither could she hang over the
back fence and gossip with the neigh
bOrs.
Poor Eve! she's dead now.
And the fashion she inaugurated is
dead, also.
If it hadn't been for the COMPOUNDED
''snaik," perhaps the ladies of the pres
ent day would dress as economically
as Eve did.
But the only place where this prim-
tive style is emulated is in certain
portions of Africa. where the women
consider themselves in full dress when
they have nothing on but a postage
stamp stuck in the center of their
foreheads.
What beautiful example of SIM
plicity of dress is shown some Of the
followers of fashion by that domestic
animal, the cat, which rises in the
morning, washes its face with its right
hand, gives its tail three jerks, and is
ready dressed for the day.
Woman is endowed with a tremen-
dous fund of knowledge, and tongue
to suit. She has the capacity for learn
ing everything she was divinely in
tended to know, and few extra items
besides.
Young ladies take a good deal of
stock in classics, and learn fast.
When you see ayouug lady student
from Vassar, with an absorbed look in
her eyes, and her lips rapidly moving,
you understand at once that she is
memorizing passage from Virgil.
But perhaps larger inspection will
reveal the fact that she is only chew
ing gum.
A woman may not be able to sharp
EN- lead pencil, or hold an umbrella,
but she can pack more articles in a |
trunk than man can into a two-horse
wagon.
The happiest period of a woman's |
life is when she Is making her wedding
garments. The saddest is when her
husband comes home late at night,
and yells to her from the front door
steps to throw him out handful of
keyhOles of different sizes.
There are some real curiosities in
nature. For instance. I once
knew young lady who could eas;l--1
pass another one on the street with
looking around to see what she had
Poor thing! she was blind. -
One of the worst habits a won
can get into is riding-habit. But
not much worse than the modern wa
ing-dress, which ladies persist in we
ing on the street.
When a woman approaches Gro
ing she pauses for one fleeing insta
gives a sudden kick that would fire
envy of a Mexican mustang, and cat,
es her train on the fly.
There is no fun in kissing
when you know you have got to do
and crowd ls standing by to see f :.
play.
The best way is to lie in wait
her, and jump out when she is not
pecting it, catch her around the ne,
knock her down, tear all the gath
put of her dress, pull her hand aw
from her face, sob, don't!" as
press your lips to hers. then 60 off =
quiet place and think of it.
The average age of woman is abb
years.
She never lives to be very old. !;
Some of them look as if they w
we'll advanced in years, but you shot
not Judge by appearances.
you will take the trouble to asl
how old she is, you will get At IT
the real facts of the matter, and dis
cover that she is quite young.
She seldom passes her eighteenth
year. About which time she begins to
tear out certain leaves in the family
Bible.
Scientific men are trying to explain
why woman can't throw stones with
the force and precision of the sterner
sex.