The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1878-06-22
All sorts.

can make it quail.
The man who cuts across lots is
sort of cross-patch.
A haugmnn's warrant is the most
Objectionable Of nOOse-p papers.
No farmer can pillow a field by
turning it over in his own mind.
Americans are gossd deal like
potato bugs. They 60 to Paris
green.
Cork screws have sunk more peO-
pie than the cork life preservers win
ever save.
A word to topers: Don't complain
SO much of your luck. It's all in
your rye.
"The jg's up!" were the Last
words of the man who died of st.
Vitus' dance.
Do not insult the under man In .
fight by telling him there is plenty
of room oil top.
Can n man fyi asks the New
York Express. Ask some bank
cashier in Canada.
Euthanasia means an easy death;
but youth in Africa means sure
death-for the missionary.
Scientific agriculturists speak of
the "fruit beltn of the South. It 10
where green apples strike the small
boy.
A French dandy had legs so ats
tenuated that the authorities arrest
ed him because lie had no visible
means of support
People who attempt to cut board
ing house pie-crust with fork
should remember that time thrown !.
away can never be recalled
There is a village in Indiana
where the church bell is rung every
day at IL o'clock for the people to
take quinine to ward of chills-
Girls, never marry man who
drinks. 1t annOys him terribly to
have a female smelling his breath
every time he enters the house.
Jones says he bought at restau-
strawberry short cake, but 1t was
mighty hard to recognize it as such.
1t hadn't even strawberry mark to
identify it.
The college student 10 now re-
ducing his flesh and training hard
for the summer boat-raees, while he
sings: "This is the weigh I long
have sought"
A cynical old practitioner says:
"a lady who practices medicine COM
mits two faults-she Increases the
number of doctors and diminishes
the number of woman
A Western writer thinks that il
the proper way of spelling tho is
s'though," and BIO. is ''beau," the
proper way, he thinks, Of spelling
potatoes, is poughteighteanx.
dad, have you ever been to the
museum 7" said ten-year-old. mo
my son." swell, go and mention
nv name tn the keeper, and he'll
take you round and show you every
thing"
He went three squares after what
he thought a street-car light; and,
after he got out Of breath, he lay
down on the doorstep, disgusted to
find out that it was only lightning
hug on his spectarles.
Elizabeth Allen. in a poem asks;
"Oh, willow, why forever weepf
Elizabeth is little mistaken as tn
the facts. 1t isn't the willow that
weeps, it is the boy who dances un-
der the timber end Ut it.
Clocks with photograph attach
ment instead of striking the hour
will call out in the morning, "Hallo,
John, time to get up!" or may very
politely invite "Dear Charles or
"Henry" to go home when l0O'clock
p. m. arrives.
The latest yarn about fast time is
| to the effect that on certain road
Young man put his head out of the
car window to kiss his girl good-by,
when the train pulled out 50 rapidly
that he kissed an old African female
at the next station.
When you find man who claws
over all Of the papers on the desk,
looks through the drawers. searches
every pocket in his clothes and ex-
plores the regions above his ears in
search of hi. led pencil, and finally
finds it between his teeth, don't lend
him money-he is absent minded.
| An Enplish vicar on a Monday
morning was Standing at his gate,
when one of his parishioners arrived
with basket of potatoes. "What's
this 2" said the vicar. ''Plcase, sir
replied the man, "it's some Of our
very best tatuss "a very rare kinds