The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-04-04
EVERYDAY SPICERIES.

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- s<fta
EVERYDAY sPICERIEs.
A GOOD paragraph needs no blue PEN
Gil mark.-Ro,ne Sentinel.
THOSE men who are of the noblest dis
positions are the happiest when others
share their happiness. ~
BY our Fashion editor: Exchanges
will continue to wear wrappers with
paste ornaments Utica Observer.
NEW LONDON isn't much on states
men, but she produces very good arti-
Gle Of CLAIMS. New London Telegram.
THE season for fine sunsets is not yet
arrived, but we noticed some very fine
onion sets in market. oil City Derrick.
A MAN from Floyd visited our sanctum
yesterday who was 30 thin that he could
turn double back somersault in a gun
barrel. Utica Observer. &. ssls f,.se
The sixteen hundred young women
Of Cleveland who are pledged not to
associate with young men OF convivial
habits, are getting terribly lonesome.
THE man who made the picture of
Lucretia Borgia and the prairie rooster
on the new silver dollar was an English
man named Morgan. Chicago Journal.
- Fond daL Las--l l2eeeszsr observes
that, in the aggregate, Brigham Young's
widows have mourned long time. Yes,
they,waited whole week before going
skating. : .s,s,5s,;.y,s g.,s..5
PEACH brandy is used in making the
mucilage used on postage-stamps, and it
is hardly fair to swear at the postmaster
when your letters miscarry. - Cdtskiu
Recorder.
A DETROIT mule has been named
George Francis Train. The mule, how
ever, can easily be distinguished from
Mr.. Train by the shortness of its ears.
Chicago Times = -
IF the breath exhausted in two
hours speech on the tariff was COM
pressed it would pump about forty-one
gallons of water from well twenty-nine
feet deep.-Detroit Free Press.
In reply to several threatening mes
sages sent in to this Office, we desire to
explain that the man who takes thrash
ings for articles in, this paper is out of
town on furlough. Rome Sentinel.
SHOULD Susan A. Anthony visit one
of our city theaters for an evening she
could go out and truthfully express her
CONVICTIONS by saying: Men want the
ballet. not bread. - Chicago Journal.
MIR. LARKIN TURNER, of Merriwether
County, Georgia, took his first dose of
medicine when he was one hundred years
old. Fatal stepl He only lived. ten
years after that No,risto,cn Herald.
BUNsTED, in the Canadian Parliament,
wants to solve the Chinese question by
providing that no man shall be hired to
work on the railroads whose hair is more
than five and half inches long.-M Y.
Graphic.
| SCRATCH my back, oh brown-eyed Mabel
Throw the buckwheat -four away;
Scratch as long as you are able;
Harder, stronger, that's the way.
| Somewhat higher, little lower,
Closer to the shoulder-bIade;
Digl Good heavens go it sloweri
Murderl Thunderi Come, that's played.
Huntington Haekeye.
DENTIST Ito old lady about purchas-
ing some false teeth +" For mastication,
my dear madam, they can only be sur
passed by nature herself" Old LADY,
40 laws, doctor, 1 don't care nothing
about the mastication, if I can only
chaw with 'em. ~ Boston Post.
For "capital felonn read acapital
fellow, !" says the Indianapolis Sentinet.
This is as bad as the Minneapolis Tribune,
For dirty shirt" read duty .shirk," !"
or the errdtum at the back of one OF 6.
T. K. Jamess novels, for "dumsquizzle"
read "permanence. IN. \. Grdphic.
THE Queen OF England has presented
a Dorchester woman with s3 for being
! the mother of three daughters ut birth.
Victoria ia hereby tendered the free use
of these columns to. explain whether she
wishes to be understood as encouraging
that sort of thing. - Worcester Press.
! A BosroN paper saws: ga butterfly
was caught at the South End Yesterday y
i It NAV be safe enoupn to catch butter.
| fIy at the south end. but when YOU 90 to
grab a wasp. YOU want to catch it at the
northeasterly end, shifting westwardly
towards the head.-Norristo,cn Herald.
| NJ vonn .,orrn onx;onslv
Nn" .in:1I nn s.v.s a.' e. ..s..Sa 80 4 AZ y,
monsdar; tha - Sci s tl,s 10 ,,ersan whc
is morally s sure Of going there has SOU
| only about the size Of warped bean
there Il I;kelv 10 he room for large
number Of liberal minded persons.o
F,1ltom Times ~
a.. /,
a YouHG man w1ises an . ~ say una snds N -
means wen Domalu al J.e'1g Un s,ts I :
ne can not MAKE iriehus. ue "an.S
Know now ne may oxeiuome 1as has pvupmn =.
dlsposltion anu make iss1 s1 t pleasaS nu At,' ~
agre apie Una. aa oansfs sfha WI ~ ,snsI,ad a . :
WAL nlm, m lnsteaa VI Deins lepe.ou ~" |"
now. Inere : oniy Sn. onG Gnanoe roa you
, ySung R.angfass n,apMDs TIM 'Anu'ua
D'e"':'@s' A''0.e =,