St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1878-11-29
Why Won't the Children Mind

In the days, long ago, Wnen was q
thoughtless and, of course, miserable
bachelor, l was, like all bachelors and
maiden aunts, excessively fond of max
ing sarcastic remarks at the expense of
those among my friends who were
blessed with troublesome children-lit-
tie pests who would not mind, who
would squat, do what one might to the
contrary, and whose fixed purpose in
life seemed to be to make the grasshOp-
per burden and desire to fail. "Wait,"
| said, "till L get married, and have
children of my own. I'll show you
that children can be made to mind as
well as horses and dogs and cattle, and
other intelligent animals; and that, too,
without half the scOlding and punish
ment which you expend, with no other
result than to make your children a
nuisance to themselves and Others" Of
course my friends derided me, and quo
ted that useful proverb about bachelors
wives and old maids children, which
has so often done service on similar &C.
casiOns.
Well, my time came at last. l got
married, and in due course of time be-
came a parent. My children grew and
thrived, and were obedient and didn't
cry. But when 1 invited inspection
from my quondam deriders, and re-
quested them to acknowledge their er-
ror, they all with one accord began to
make excuses, by saying that mine were
exceptionally good children, that cOun
try-bred children were always less trou
blesome than those brought up in the
city, and so forth. So, in a spirit of
mingled philanthropy and self-justifica
ton, make known to the world the
principles by which / have thus far
been guided in the education of my
children, inviting it to read, mark,
learn, and inwardly digest, with profit.
A young child's body develops more
rapidly than its mind. The child can
pile two blocks on top of two blocks
long before it can be made to under
stand that two and two make four.
And, strictly in accordance with this
rule, child learns by experience long
before it begins to be guided by pre-
cept. Tell young child that black
wiser than it was before; but let it
touch the stove and be burned, and the
lesson lasts forever. Who ever heard
of an infant being taught to eat, or tC
crawl or to walk, or to climb by pre-
cept? The boy must go into the water
before he can learn to swim.
The primary education of children,
then, is altogether by experience. Most
people know this truth and disregard it
thoroughly. A child in perfect health
feels desire to be carried, and straight
way behowls himself. Mamma rushes
to her darling, walks up and down
the room with him until her back
is almost broken, and then lays him
down again, only to hear the bowling
break out afresh within five minutes.
''Did any one ever see such a cross
baby What can she do to stop it's
screaming 2" Why, my dear madam,
you're teaching him to cry. Put your
self in his place and, see what les
sons he learns by experience. He likes
to be carried. He screams and he is
carried, Ergo, the sure way to get you
to carry him is to scream. What an
absolute fool he'd be, if he didn't cry,
under such circumstances as these.
Now try my way. So long as the
child is in good health and suffering no
pain, let nothing induce you to carry
him while he is crying. Let him learn
by experience that there is nothing to
be gained by screaming, and he'll very
soon give it up. I've tried it on several
subjects-never mind how maryland
know.
But suppose the little one advances to
that age when, as mothers say, he must
be "taught to behave" Still the same
principle holds good. Experience, not
precept must be his instructor. If you
want him to obey let him learn by ex-
perience that obedience pays better
than disobedience. If you want him to
be quiet and orderly and well behaved,
see that experience teaches him the ad-
vantages of being so.
Don't touch the table," says Mann
ma to little Willie, prancing round the
sitting-room. "Will you mind what l
say 2" she repeats, as Willie lays his in
vestigating hand upon some knick-
knack or other. Crash goes the rare
bit of china or the costly card-receiver
''NOw, you bad boy, go into the corner,
and stop there till l tell you to come
out. That's for disobedience.n Is it
indeed Just dwarf yourself a little,
and get into Willie's shoes, and study
his experience, and see whether it is or
not. He touched the table after you
had forbidden him to do so, and you
simply repeated your prohibition. Ex-
detrimental lesson No. ]: Mamma may
be disobeyed with impunity. He
touched it again, and quite by accident
broke all ornament; whereupOn you
put him in the corner. Experimental
lesson No. 2: 1t is more blessed to dis
hnn To
Deduction, reached by unconscious
mental process: Punishment thing to
be avoided. Accidents are punishable
but unavoidable. Therefore, when you
meet with an accident, lie about it.
And the next time little Willie breaks
anything, if you're not there to see him
do it, the chances are that he'll tell you
lie, and you'll never think for mo-
ment that you yourself have been his
instructor in falsehood.
Once more invite you to try my way.
l aim to impress upon my children that
disobedience is sure to get them into
trouble. l say: "Don't do such a
thing" And when they do it the pun
lshment mot necessarily a heavy one)
follows prompt and inevitably. The
two things, disobedience and punish
ment, are so absolutely connected to-
gether that the child inevitably thinks
one every time it meditates the other.
Why don't child put his fingers into
the fire Because it knows that if it
does it will get burned. And in the
same experimental manner my children
know that if they disobey they will get
punished and they avoid disobedience
accordingly.