The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-01-03
) WAITS AND wHIMs.

/ BURGLAR proof coffins are advertised
for sale in Fort Wayne.
A HAND-To-HAHD fght-Four aces
against four kings.
| ) If Theodore Tilton makes up with his
wife, will he apologize to Mr.. Beecher
JAMES GORDON BENNET is reported
to be engaged to handsome young
French Countess of Paris.
| "A MALONE, New York, jury found
that man died by the visitation of
God, in natural way or otherwise"
BLANKETS are the circulating me-
dium" " of the natives of Vancouver.
The richest chiefs have them stored by
the hundred.
AsHoRT time previous to the death
of Pongo, the famous gorilla, the direc-
tors of the Berlin Museum refused
! 81, 500 for him. s-ss'l-sS
A FARM hand for harvesting is paid in
Central Italy seven cents a day. and
considers himself alucky man to find en-
ployment at that rate.
CICERO said, "The pursuit of all
things should be calm and tranquil" /"
| He was a great man but we don't think
he understood much about feas.
q VARIOUS plans for the cure Of stam-
mering are going around among the
Newspapers. The groundwork of all of
them seems to behold your tongue.
YE godsl Imagine my surprise
- To Fl d, on coming home last eve,
The neatest thing In pumpkin pies
A gift from charming Geneyieve
The crust was short, and white as snow;
The pumpkin cleaned like golden sands;
The whole presented such show
~ 1t seemed the work of fairy handsl
And when the prize came to eat,
As the bee some new found honey sips,
fancied nothing else so sweet,
Save the nectar of the giver's lips.
DIR. BEvERIDGE, an English naval
surgeon, says that foreign substances,
such as pieces of meat, etc., can be
removed from the throat by blowing in
the ear.
SUSAN" Why, Nellie have you been
visiting in that old-fashioned dress p
Nellie" Yes, my dear; but then, i
have only been visiting old-fashioned
people"
"EMPTY your purse into your head, :"
says Ben Franklin. A general adher-
ence to this advice accounts for the
number of empty heads one hears of
nowadays.
SMITH (after telling Irregular one ":
l assure you, Jones, if I hadn't seen it
myself l wouldn't have believed it.
Jones: Ha-h'm-well, you know l
didn't see it.
SAMUEL WRIGHT, father of Harry
and George, the well-known base ball
players, died in Boston the other day
Like his two SONS, he was an accom-
plished field sportsman.
A GEORGIA Judge lays down the rule
that " to be too drunk to form the in
tent to kill the offender, he must he too
drunk to form the intent to loot"
Better try on insanity with that Judge.
A NEWSPAPER carrier of Baltimore,
eighty-thr years old, thinks theisecret
| of his good health is in confning himself
to one cup Of coffee and one of tea daily.
He has scarcely tasted water for five
years.
THEY say now that when he stays and
stays and when she begins to yawn and
he still looks fresh, she tells him she has
Just been working a pretty motto.
Then she shows it to him. II reads:
"There is no place like home.
MRS. SHADbE, of Guthrie County,
Iowa, has been ina trance for six months
past, only awakening once, in October,
to speak to her family, She is regularly
fed, but gives no signs of knowing or
appreciating what she is eating.
SHE sat by the fire with her sewing,
Stitching as fast as she could,
Putting patch on some trousers
Just where 'twould do the most good.
The clock on the mantle struck leven,
Then twelve then thirteen-then more,
And it got awfully late when the old man
Came staggering In at the door.
awhaz ger up for so late, Ria, darling?
| Have lodzhe-meeting {hic) to attends
Pooty late, amt itf" Stitch, stitch) she an
swered,
\ --Epeaing Wiscolsin. s
| WEsToN's last attempt in England
was to walk five hundred miles in six
days. On the last day he walked only
fifty-eight miles, making four hundred
and fifty-eight miles in all, and retired
amid the hootings of those who had
backed him.
A REMARKABLY phenomenon occurred
near Little Stony Mountain, Monitoba
during late thunderstorm. What ap,
peared to be dense volume of cloud
struck the prairie with such violence as
to make large excavation in the earth
about six feet deep.
BALTIMORE is engaged on big job Of
water-works. A dam on Gunpowdel
River is to be built large enough to SCI
the water back five miles, and then it il
to be carried in tunnel twelve feet il
diameter distance of seven and hal
miles, emptying into reservoir holdin,
10000 gallons. The whole will cos
$4,O00,000.
LAST Thanksgiving Day Jonathan
Anthony, of Sprague, Conn.,, gathered
from one of the trees in his orchard
second crop of apples for this year
The tree blossomed for the second at
tempt on the first Monday in October
There were fourteen clusters on tn
tree, each one containing from three t
: five apples, some of them an inch and
, half in diameter.
: The DRtch, desirous of achievin
s something like their old renown upo
9 the high seas are preparing an Arcti
Y expedition to sail in May next. The d.
: sign is not wild goose chase for tn
!, north pole, but a systematic and INTEL
s gent exploration of a commercial rout
J, to the Siberian rivers. The expeditio
e is fitted out by money obtained by pop,
e lar subscription.