The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1878-09-28
FUNNYGRAPHS,

FUNNYGRAPHs.
A GOOD place for meating-the butch
er's.
A sanctuary craft A blood vessel.
-Keokuk Constitution.
How many mourners are necessary at
the wake of a ship?
DON'T swallow clam-shellsl Even the
S throws them up.
NEWLY married couples should 90
over Mount Washington by the bridal
path.-Bost6n POET.
"CAN stored Urn OF animated bust"
exceed in eloquence the words, " No
Trust?"
MARY had a little lamp,
Twas filled with kerosene,
She blew right down the chimney
And vanished from the scene,
This is the last rose of summer, as the
man said when he got out Of bed on the
morning of August 31st.-Derrick.
WHAT we want to hear is blast
from the horn of plenty.-OU City Der
rick.
So close is the sympathy between
night and day, that after the one falls
the other breaks.-Stany0rd AdU0cate.
Young man, in beginning a courtship
be sure you don't write and then go
ahead.-Stamyord Adr0cate.
Chow old are your asked conduc-
tor of little girl who was trying to
ride on half fare. " am nine at home,
but in the cars am only six and half"
WE have just been thinking how
language came into the world 1t was
during Adam and Ewes first quarrel,
when one word brought on another
Cincinnati Saturday Night.
HERE'S nice little piece of news for
the little folks: "a firm in BeIleville,
H., turns out 10000 gallons of castor
oil every year" - Cincinnati Breakfast
Table,
Mrs. A-"Now, Mrs. B., will you
come and see our apiary? Mrs. b
who has been putting it off all the after
noon" Well, Mrs. A, the thing is, you
know, Pm-I'm rather afraid of mon
keys"
LET a newspaper give a man a puff,
and he accepts it without word; but
call him liar and he is around to speak
of it before daylight next morning
oil city Call.
"IF it was not for the years couched
upon his head" wrote the obituary
writer; and then he got right up and
hOwlcd when the type-setter rendered
it, II it was not for his ears, he could
have stood upon his head"
All" said the fly, as it crawled
around the bottle, q have. passed
through the Matching age, the creeping
age, the flying age, and now / am in the
mucilage, and" there it stuck.-Ke0-
kuk Constitution.
EVERY time man rides on street
car he takes five bricks from the house
he might have in the future. Every
time his wife wants real stylish new
hat it takes five hundred bricks and
good share of the foundation walls.
"THE sun rises in the east" explained
the teacher. " Yes, an there's suthin'
rises in the west, too" chimed in one of
the smaller boys. Well, what is it,"
asked the schOolma' am. Iniuns!"
shouted the urchin.
A SACRAMENTO man intercepted a
note sent to his wife by another man.
He therein discovered that she was max
ing an appointment with t'other. He
simply took her false teeth from the
bureau, put them into his pocket, kissed
the children, went down town and played
several games of illiards.-Herold.
LIGHTNING came very near killing a
tree agent in the state one day last week.
1t hit him three times, and if it had got
another whack at him would have
fetched him, sure. But by that time the
agent suspected what was the matter,
and got away.-Ha1okeye..
AN old Irish soldier who prided him
self upon his bravery, said he had
fought in the battle of " Bull Run"
When asked if he had retreated and
made good his escape as others did on
that famous occasion, he replied, "Be
jabers, those that didn't run are there
yit."
X, A BOHEMIAN who is always on the
lookout for chance to borrOw-francs
till next Tuesday, presents himself at
the door of a rich acquaintance. My
master doesn't receive to-day" says the
servant. "That's all right. | don't
want him to receive. want him to give
Tell him the Shah of Persia wants to see
him."
A GOOD old farmer found himself one
day with his boy at the further end of
the row when the dinner-bell sounded.
Anxious to make every step count, he
commenced to hoe his way back, saying
to the boy as he did so, Thomas, do
you ever thing about dying~ " Yes"
said Tom, F" think | shall die pretty
sooni if | don't have some dinner"
~ AROSE at 6 o'clock this morning,
and see what l found in taking walk
on the highway" said the fond father,
displaying a silver dollar; {" is not that
proof of the ACCESSIBILITY of early
rising?." "No," replied the son. "And
why?" asked the father, just as people
always do in fable end Sunday-schoo
stories. Because the fellow who lost
it." boldly replied the son, "got up to
early for his own good! "-Puck.
! VOLUNTARY assertion should be con-
| sidered as grand evidence of the merits of a
/ remedy. Below is what one person thinks
/ of DR.. Graves HEART REGULATOR as a
cure for Heart Disease:
/ SIRs-Will you please send me bottle Of DR..
/ Graves HEART REGULATOR hy express. l see you
have it advertised in the Times, and can it is
the best remedy for the heart ever offered to the
public. n. HAM, sutton, VT
! Among the many forms of Heart Disease
are Palpitaton, Enlargement, Spasms Of the
/ Heart, Stoppage of the Action of the Heart,
| Trembling all over and about the Heart
| Ossification or Bony Formation of the
/ Heart pbauuatiSm General DphjlitV and