Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1878-07-10


Steam has been defined q /. hr.,
OF water in tremendous penpirstiorne '
Why is fine woman like loco,s
tive?-Because she draws q train o sHs
her, scatters the sparks, and transn a,'sf
the males. p's
1t has been said that fowls ara a.
most economical things farmer o ,ne
keep, because for every grain thew o Gan
q peck. e"e
About three-fifths of the jury trials :.
this country include at least one man ,,' Al ~
the jury who ought to have been ho w
a mule. van
II wish to be friend to the fr;ona
less, father to the fatherless. and :
widow to the widowless," said pnsh;,a a
speaker at recent revival meeting
The man who wants to, can ess;,v Il.
cover now that his wife's health Is foil
ing, and that she ought to visit her child
hoods home during the months of INV
and August.
A Georgia paper advises its subscrib.
ers that payments can be made in
butter, eggs, corn, potatoes, ragged
greenbacks or tobacco stamps-lf nicslr
taken from the boxes"
Wishing to pay his friend comnr
ment, gentleman remarked: az
hear you have a very industrious
wife,
EYES," replied the friend, with
melancholy smile; "she's never idle
she's always finding something for me-
to do"
The rising youth feels the need of an
invention that will instantaneously alb.
sorb a lighted cigar, and save him the
trouble and danger of putting it in his
cos.u pocket when he Unexpectedly
meets either of his parents.
An old farmer lately gave the advice
to his sons: "Boys, don't you ever wait
for summit to turn up. You might
just as we'll 20 an sit down on stone in
the middle of a medder, with pail at.
wixt your legs, an wait for COW to
back up to you to be MIXED"
A reformed strawberry is wanted-js
necessary. Why don't our fruit cultur.
lists grow variety of berry that will act
fair and honest? Not have all the biz
ones crawl on top of the basket, and the
little ones nestle in the bottom. For the
strong to rule over the weak is quite
natural, however.
1T is strange" said a young man.
"that a poorly educated girl stands Just
as good chance Of marrying we'll as
scholarly one"
"Not at all strange" responded lady,
"because the fact is that the young
men are not sufficiently we'll educated
to know the difference"
"Oh, lovew she murmured, as they
wandered through the moonlight; ah,
dearest! why do the summer roses fade?~
He happened to be young chemist,
of a practical turn of mind, and here.
piled, that it was owing to the insult
ticiency of oxygen in the air.
The cobbler's last words: ~ feel
that l aUu1 weaker each succeeding
day, and that l am fast approaching
my end. A few more stitches, and all will
be over, and l shall 60 where there is
rest for the weary sole and every sorrow
will be heeled. Having said aw| he
wished, he calmly breathed his last.
A witty gentleman, speaking Of a
friend vino was Frustrated by illness, re-
marked that he could hardly recover
since his constitution was all gone"
said bystander, L do not see how he
lives at ALL" "Oh," responded wag,
he lives on the byelaws."
At late funeral the undertaken ar
ranged for the husband and mother-ln'
law to ride in the same carnage
"Must l." said the broken-hearted
man, "must l ride with that awful wo
man" II think you will have TO-.
answered the undertaken. "Well
l must, l must" said the stricken man.
"but to ride with her destroys all my
pleasure on this occasion.
A young woman, evidently from
the country" was seen standing WIN d
very perplexed air at one of the lamp
post letter-boxes. She was observeaw
knock several times on the top OF the
iron box, and obtaining no Response
she passed round to the opposite. sac
and raising the cover of the SILT II
which the letters are placed, aapp,nleIi
her mouth to the aperture, ana calleo
out Tor in3 "Can We let me nave
postage-stamp, if we please
An ungallant contemporary 'hus
writes "The modern woman, Nhen
she has nail to drive, doesn't wall S u.
her husband to come home o 'iS
catches hold of the nail as she "oI,o
the hair of recreant son, swings ".
hammer over her head and piuiise
downward. Then she ties up her my