The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1878-04-13
The Boy Who Advised.

@ The Boy Who Advised.
The architect who plans high front
steps to house is in league with certain
boys who have "large and assorted
stock" of meanness born in their natures.
Proof of this can be found any day in the
week in Detroit, and the latest was
gathered in no later than Saturday at
ternoon. A very nice young man,
dressed in his nobbiest style, and sport
ing q cane which never cost less than a
dollar, walked up the high front steps
of jefferson Avenue mansion and
pulled the bell. It was plain enough
even 10 the driver of a street-car that
the young man had an affection for
some one in that house, and that he was
about to meet his charmer. But it
wasn't SO plain to stub-nosed boy who
was. drawing q picture of an indian
warrior on the flagstones with piece of
indigo. He looked up, quit his work, and
loafing along to the gate he called out /:
$ Them air folks don't want any pat
ent tooth-paste to-day!"
The nobby young man gave sudden
start of surprise, but he instantly recog-
nized the vastness of the gulf separating
him and that street boy, and he did not
reply!
sour folks don't want any clothes
wringers to-day, and you want to hear
mel" called the boy.
The young man heard him. Several
pedestrians also heard him, and as they
looked up the young man wondered
why no one answered the bell.
"I'm telling you fellow up there"
said the boy, !" that we don't keep no
clearinghouse here! If you want
cheap board you must 60 around the
corner and three blocks straight on!
Do you propose to pay in advanced"
As no one came to the door the young
man pulled the bell again.
"I'm telling you that you can't pass
yourself off on us as grasshoppcr suf-
ferer!" shouted the boy. eff you
want some cold vittals 60 around to the
side gate!''
Four pedestrians had halted on the
other side of the street, and the young
man looked down on the boy and softly
said:
"Boy, can you catch 10 cents?"
"We don't sign no petishuns here for
a national monument to the inventor of
the dish-pan!" replied the boy. "What
I'm talking to you is that you want to
60 around to the cook IS door!'
The young man wished wish con-
tanning 4l3 grains fine that the builder
of those high steps had been dead for
40 years, but the door didn't open, and
the boy hung right to him, calling out /:
Hain't been telling you that you
can't get in there! You may be the
private Waterman on this block, but
you can't go around pulling front door
bells and putting on airs! If have to
argy much longer I'll call the police!"
give got a half-dollar here, bOy!"
said the yOnng man as he turned round
"Let's see how it looks" softly re-
piled the lad.
But the half-dollar was at home. The
young man searched for it in vain, and
the disguised boy turned to the men
across the street and called out:
"Isn't it agin the law for fellow to
be taking beeswax impression of
front door-lock in the daytime?''
They started to come over, and the
young man hurried down the steps and
up the street. He gave the boy just one
look. 1t was a look in which railroad
collisions and steamboat blow-ups were
equally mixed and then frosted with a
Bogardus-kicker.
"Oh! We kin wink at me and try to
buy me off" growled the boy, shut
these principles of honesty were paint
ed all over me when l was baby, and
they can't be rubbed out nor bought up
for wealth."
Just then a young lady threw open
the door and smiled and bowed and got
as far as: "Why, Fwed!" when she
discovered he wasn't there. The foot
man was out and she had waited to elk
up" and 'Fwed" had gone. She back
ed in and shut the door, and the mean
boy got down to finish his Indian, NUT
tering:
eff he couldn't raise fifty cents to re-
ward me, how'd he ever manage to git
that gal one o. them cprse;s with a hun
dred and ninety bones in it?''-Detroit
Free Press