Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-01-16
HulllOr.

The COu11e7-JOlu71uls shouts, advertise,
economic, remonetize. The lie land
ise) have it."
Even though we should now have good
Ice Tor skating great many people
would " sit down upon it.
The libel suit against the Philadelphia
ZINES has been Withdrawn, the plaintiff,
Nat. M'Kay, concluding that be will Ma
MKayny thing by prosecuting.
John Habberton, author of "Helen's
Babies" has failed as lecturer. His
liabilities are not stated.
When a New York railroad LAWYER
wants particularly to crush a Supreme
Court Judge, he calls him :" a judicial
hopper
Secretary Schurz says there are a
great many good Indians. 1t may be so,
but all we ever saw were up a tree.
That's the way they bury 'em.
A Boston stump speaker, turned
clergyman, so far forgot himself in open.
ing his sermon in New Hampshire
town as to shout, Fellow Citizens"
America now supplies Europe with
oeef, Hour,, apples, potatoes, butter,
cheese. Who says she may not claim
the proud title Of Fodder-land?"
A Missouri judge recently refused
divorce III case In which the parties had
lived together forty-nine years, on the
ground that it was not right to spoil
golden wedding
He gave her hearty smack. "Don't
kiss like that" she said. ''I want a
sweet tender pressure when l am kissed.
[ don't want any fireworks" He left
out the explosion in the next act
Every drop bran'y drank paid duty
midear." Well what of it?" said his
wife as she pulled off his boots. Then,
midear, amt [ (hic) duty-full nus
band?" She concluded thathe was.
The intention Of the old deacon was
good, but the way in which he worded
his notice was infelicitous. He said ::
"Any members of this congregation
who have left off wearing apparel will
please contribute the same to the DOOR,
A cautious wife refused to permit her
husband to go on a fishing excursion
because he was very apt to get drowned
when he went on the water, and, more
over, he did not know how to swim any.
more than a goose.
"NoW, my boy,' said the examiner.
IF had a mince pie, and should give
two-twelfths of it to John, two-twelfths to-
Isaac, two-tWelfths to Harry, and should
take half the pie myself, what would
there be left /? Speak out loud. so that
all can hear" "The plate" shouted
the boy
I" A New York Judge has decided that
all the wedding presents belong to the
bride. Husbands will have to appeal.
The next thing you know, if a pair of
broadcloth trousers are included among
the bridal presents, New York Judge
will decide that the wife must wear
them.'
To remove freckles let young ladies
battle the face with cologne water
after tea, and about ten P. M. brush both
cheeks, the forehead and chin with a
carefully selected mustache. If this
does not remove the freckles, it will,
under ordinary circumstances, cause
them to be forgotten
A Massachusetts Irishman has his
| honest doubts on the uppermost theo-
logical question His wife died recently,
and mt e ing a friend on the street he
said, despondingly: "Well, the old
woman is gone" Where2' asked the
| sympathizing friend, who had not heard
of her decease. :" don't know, but she
is dead. any how said Patrick.
Rldgewood, n. j., is place where
twins are born upon the slightest pro-
vocation. No real insult is meant by
them. They do not mean to raise a
| mob. But they do insist that when a
Rldgewood fathers partner at whist play
the acc he shall not follow with the duce,
saying, play the twins of that suit"