The Hickman courier., 1878-07-19
WAITS AND wHnDrs.

that what you eat It for, aunty7"
The Highland costume Is getting to
be the rage among aristocratic bellies of
English fancy balIs As one OF the fair
ones pertinently' remarked TO a ,cenho-
rieus critic, "The Importance isn't in
what you put on 50 much as what you
leave Off"
g Minerva sends us poem, in
which the following lines occur: I am
sad and sick and weary. MY life is ebb-
ing away" Instead of sending the
poem to US she should have sent for
physician. Her liver needs fepairiDg.---
TNorristown Herald. 4. f...
.."Captain, we are entirely out Of
ammunition, ,"-said an orderly scfeeant
to his commander on a fsld day. g ss-WhatI
entirely eutof ammunitienT sexciaimed
the captain. " "Yes, entirely outS' was ?
the reply, "Then cease fring,"l per-
emptorily said the captain
--------.y--. ,---- r. :. s.ta4.t = -. .tas>CIf
fres. it is said that, according TO
etiquette, the mother-in-law cannot face
the son-in-law, but must hide, or pre-
tend to hide, when she sees him. In
this country the custom is reversed. IL
is the son>iR-law who does the lodging.
Il Breakfast Table.
Baron Heinchenbach says: AL
ways sleep with your feet TO the equa-
tor" 'Jes so, Baron" replies conyiv-
ial writer, "but when a fellow gets
home at a. m, and sees the bed and
mantelpiece spinning around like bob
bins in mill, bows he goirg to know
where on earth the equator is
MARIA" observed Mr.. Holcomb,
as he was putting on his clothes, {" there
amt no patch on them breeehes yet"
Z" 1 can't fix il now, no way Pm TOO
busy" "Well, give me the patch, then,
and I'll carry it around with me.
don't want people to think ! can't afford
the cloth"
"A reformed strawberry is wanted
is necessary. Why dent our fruit cul-
turists grow a variety Of berry that will
act fair and honest? not have all the
big ones crawl on top of the basket, and
the little ones nestle in the bottom. For
the strong to rule over the weak is quite
natural, however.
What to him was love or hope2
What to him was joy-or care2 He
stepped on plug of Irish seap the girl
had left on the topmost stair, and his feet
flew out like fierce, wild things, ard he
struck each stair with a sound like a
drum; and the girl below with the
scrubbing things laughed like a fiend to
see him come.-[St. Louis Journal.
"A little girl had been absent with
her parents to camp meeting for two
weeks. On her return her little play
mate, Ella Day, entertained her by show
ing her her new playthings. At night
little Mary, in saying her prayers, said-
l." Oh Lord, bless Ella Day and make her
a good girl, 50 can take all her play
\ eN.ssa.ss avay rtvaaa 14vr and she won't
want them back again I"
An alternative Time, 9 p. rn.-
Charles, love, Lady Ledbury is at hom
tonight, and Mrs. Gelasma has concert
and there's the Duchess Of Ipswich's
dance. Now, are we Goine-i- 4l.''75
places OF not? For if we are, it is time
for me to oand dress; and if we are not,
it is time for me 10 put mustard plaster
on my chest, some flannel round my
throat. and go straight off to bed !
"A bright little fellow of four years
whose correctness the father questioned,
asking, off Mary should tell you any
thing that was not 80, what would you
saw ?" answered, "Pd say she told a lie."
off brother should say anything that
was not so, would you think i rightf"
"No, I'd think be told lie." Well,
supposing that you should say something
that was not exactly so; what then ?"
"Td think Ps mistaken"
IF it were not for the style of the
covering of some people, the world would
hardly be awareof their existence. p Cast
upon society without family prestige
short of money and brains, with physi-
cal makeup occupying amedium ground
between the human specie and the ba-
boon, how could they attract attention
except through an elaborate wardrobe,
and a fascinating toilet2 Therefore, as
a rule. saws an old observer, hOmely
people generally dress the best,
"A sensation was produced in the
Beech Street Mission Church, at Pater-
son, N. ]. Sunday afternoon, by large
dog which ran into the church, and,
after running round for while, sought
out the prettiest girl in the congregation
and then sprang on her lap and RBec-
tionately kissed her. The girl had never
seen the dog before, and her astoniah-
ment and fright may be imagined. The
dog was put out of the church several
times.
When the triangle had called the
meeting 70 order, Brother Gardner arose
) with his usual meelness and said !:
"Gem'len, if it wasn't for the wheels on
a wagin de wagin wouldn't move When
2 de wheels am on, den what ?" "GreaseP'
.olemnly exclaimed the old man Toota
5 K-rect whispered the president
softly, rubbing his hands together. We
9 hez de wagin an de wheels. We VIII
e now pass de hat aroun' fur de grease. -
free Press.
II .."Extravagance is the cause OF hard
!. times" said Nevada capitalist. we
= must be more economical. Ten year'
ago 1 commenced working in mil ~
Gold Hill at'a small salary, and IN le',
than year owned the mill and nao
;. some money in bank" "You are right
] responded listener with great eaFpsst
! mess. at il possible for man % lal 2
up $4,000 or 1000 month on SALARY
" = of IS day, but he must be very 80. :,
= uomicaI and have the handling OF 'n'
A. amalgam."
Il An Elizabeth street mule Ncktt
r O.. B. & @ baggage master me ;. o. ~
tn day. The luggage master snln.o - II
IA his hands Oh the mules neck ana q, w y.
~ tts fiIt,,nfd- d SII I- - ~