The New York herald., 1878-03-10
day St Ignatus' Protestant Episcopal Church, and
will preach morning and evening
CHAT BY THE WAY.

on woman's cheek, II 10 only put on, 1t loses It's
value
1t is argued, and with great plausibty that colum-
bus did deserve the credit he received for dscov
ering America. All he had TO do was TO keep gong
right ahead and he 10 strike II somewhere.
The wonder would have boon II be hsa missed IT,
The poor fellow who heard somebody say that
Heaven helps those help themselves At once took
the hint and helped h,msef to an overcoaI As the
officer escorted him cell he threw bis hands up
in despair and cried, Whats the good OF believing in
relignnS Heaven hasn't helped me Bit"
When . certain minister referred, In the midst OF
eloquent DISCOURSE to the In the church three
gentlemen offered their pews for saie the ground
that he was becoming too personal
"what constitutes tho chief happiness OF your
life :" asked serious Sunday school teacher She
blushcd and then replied at that John has 1t last
liked tho day."
"Mother, does God everything that's donef"
asked little one. Eyes, my DEAR everything" was
the reply; .sbut why do you ask ~" BECAUSE" said
the artess ctild 81 think that say the very least
OF II, II is very inconvenient"
Que difficulty with ministers 10 that they afraid
to give their people the strong meat Of the Word In
these days, when science 10 nuiacturing pemmican
the clcrgymen feed the people something
better than hortaiory mush. II is well enough for
them to mako the ladies' weep. but they must also
make tho men tnink Thero 10 q tearIul amount OF
intellectual carelessness in tho pulpit, falling back
tho dignity OF tho cloth, which may do very we'll
TOR little, which lest long. Brain food s
in tho long run "hearty" food. Joseph Cook has
stung the scientists wasp stngs caterpillar, and
produced contortons and wrthngs untold. He has
proved that thero are blows 10 be given as we'll Us
blows be received. such example is worthy OF
imitation, and If tho clergy we're more on the alert
scientists might be little less sweeping In their
sertons. They are not yet graced by the virtue OF
humility, ana an honest drubbing would do them
good, always provided there is clerical athlete strong
enough TO DO IT, and do II In such fashion that there
should be mistake ABOUT the result
Tho telephone will get US into trouble yet We had
uneasy feeling when It FIRST brought before tho
public aud now we are convinced that there mis-
chief brewing An incloent has occurred In San Fran
CISCO which has redoubcd our Tears and thrown US
into sort o prophetic paroxysm. You know who Is
at your end OF the wire, but you to and out
who is at the end? The husband under the i'm
PRECISION that the attachment is all right, Whispers to
tho wrong lady, "Meet mo by moonlight Alone" and
domestic infelcity Is the result in San Francisco a
gentleman heard mysterious words at his end of the
wire. He knew that he had locked the office up at
the other end Tor he had the key IN his pocket.
Somewhat alarmed he asked, "Who are you3' and
the answer came back, 'You'll know BY and by"
He hurried to the Office and found 1t closed tight He
looked under the tables and chairs and into the
closets, and no ono was discovered. A "mejum" at
declared tnat spirit had spoken, and that the
"by and by" referred 10 was the ''swect by and
by,'' when tho mortal coil is shudled off, For q
little while the operator felt us though he had
taken a Turkish bath, and regarded II as q
direct intmation that tor the sake OF his children
he had better get extra insurance his lite and
mako a settlement with his creditora The Spiritual
lists tho tptoe of excitement, and declare that
the terminus OF every wire Is In the other world. We
Ike modern Inventions, but we mustn't carry this
thing too far Wnen get into sad fx, and the
Chief witness dios whom We run into debt and the
creditor Is .taken off, leaving his books In
venent disorder that nothing can be proved; and
when the good mother-in-law, who has made sit
pins all lie is rest and leaves also. It
will never do 10 have at hand such means Of CON-
muuication. 1t Is eminenty unsafe. Earthly affairs
Will become inextrcab!y mixed unless the tel
ephonc Is denounced, in ecclesiastical phrase, as
suggestion OF tho evil one.
Canon Farrar says that "Hell is temper, not q
place" II he had lived in the same house with per-
whose temper was bad, he would have better
understood that tho fact which he admits Is some
times confined 20 II distinct locality.
When the country is involved In war; some men en-
list because they delight military exctements and
others because they can ind moro peace IN a camp
There Is old English proverb which says. "Our
greatest misforlunes those which boia us
There people who 60 through every flower garden
hunting ior thorns, and when thoy have found one
they smile with grim satisfaction and say, "Didn't l
tell you SOY" II is always 10 bear a real III
than Imaginary one.
TO talk i'll OF Others to lay yourself open to criti
clsm II was John Trumbull who said:-
But iskets contrvs It
AS oil TO miss the marx they drive at,
and though well aimed at uucg or plover,
Bear wide, aud KICK their owners over.
writer in Scribners Monthly has given an elab.
orate article on "How Matches are Made" He gets
the birthstone In the wrong place, however II Is
always ater the match has been made, and the cou-
PIE 1nd Their mistake that the perfume Of sulphur
1. discovered One bit OF wood will make ordinary
match, but the matches made by two sticks
The Eastern question about settled. Russia is to
have her own way and England 10 to stay home and
Keep qu,e Tue latter country shook her fists IN the
face OF tho Russian bear, and at Que time we thought
would throw herself like an avalanche against tue
Czar and utterly exterminate him. But she Is
quiet as u lamb and sits the panks OF the Thames
sucking thumb ike placid child that gets
angry. In The meantime Russia draws her nugor
along the southern side Of the Balkans and says,
.Tnal rs the kind OF peaceI want e., largo piece
OF Turkey" Tho Russian bear has q growing appe-
tte aud knows how tako what she wants. The
Turks are evaporating, and the bcdimmed crescent
will have 10 be taken TO Asia Minor tor repairs The
whole current OF history Is In that direction, and
sistance to late IS folly.
The people who only think that they think, suggests
Joseph Cook, apt TO guess at halt problem and
then multiply " Two, Imagining that thus they get
the whole.
When you sure that you know everything
other people the strange hall ucinaton that
you know nothing. Such is the conIrariness Of tho
world
II It is possible for any to take nap during the
sermon, II Is safe predict that there will be
versious that day discourse that hasn't red pepper
enought IL to keep mans eyes open wont trouble
his soul very much.
There are certain novel experiences which como
unon You euddenlY Ike q aharp pain-na for instnnco