The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1878-07-18
HUMOROUS ITEMS.

Ii The Rock OF Ages-The oradles.
A Celebrated Case-The printers.
A Sweet Rascd-The sugar-beet 8
~Eyetinerant people-Tavelling ~oculists.
VIII the ship heel over IL you tow her out
A man may make his / in visible anG
yet see Ii. Alf ah Hi5atC y
A Cigar-Lighter-The boz from which
they took one. EHs agH.G anI q
An honest man is the most lonesome
work Of the Creator. , s.iaf =
The latest mania of pottery decorators ID
to paste pictures IN bald heads and coat
them with varnish. ap9JF
At Detroit, Mercury made q aic transit
without much gloria on Mundi last ds
She: What age do you think I am 2 He,
calamity: / don't know, but you don't look
it-FrenA paper. sH =
Old ACKNOWLEDGMENT was no lover Of card.
playing. The good book says he came down
fiat-footed on '.all-fours."
Dying in poverty" says a modern
moralist, 'is nothing; it is living in poverty
that comes hard on q fellow"
When a Virginia gentleman asks anothe,
to drink he blandly says, " Shall we give
the public debt a lift And they lift.
Bloar, who offered to stake his reputation,
was considerably taken aback by being
asked to bet the drinks or something that
was of Known value.
go out, young man, abe g not here, y
said a Kentucky preacher last Sunday in the
midst Of his sermon, to n youth hesitating
in the doorway. T,
Scene-Central Park station. Enter night
patrolman g Ser(hic)geant, 1 foun' O s'loon
open las night" Sergeant (serenely) 81
see o did"
Have you ever read . The Tale Of q
Bumble-B Bee? asked George of Sarah
Jane. mo-" said she, as she turned the
color of red paint, "but I've felt 'em."
There is no ruth in men," said q lady ;
" they are liz musical Instruments which
sound a variety Of tones " In other words,
madame" said a wit, " you believe that ali
men are Tyres"
Which party is the strongest, the green
back or the pullback ~ WhitehaU Times.
"oh, the pullback has the most followers
and the largest number of papers to support
it."-Norristoton Herald.
A Scotchman asked an freshman. "Why
are half-farthings coined in England :" Pats
answer was, "Togive Scotchmen an oppor.
tunity Of subscribing to charitable institu-
tions.'' ils If .Irtli ,l1i
Awag. upon visiting a medical museum,
was shown some dwarfs and specimens Of
mortality, all preserved in alcohol. "well,'
said he, II never thought the dead could be
in such spirits"
ga newly arrived Chinaman has only
twenty-five letters of the English alphabet
to learn-he Is well acquainted with IT,
Cincinnati Saturday Night. He is also sure
to have Cue in his head.-PAiddelpAia
Bulletin. sr
Ayoung man suffering from "hereditary
govt" said he didn't mind the pain of It 20
much but" said he, 1.-THE thought that
some old ancestor had all the fun Of acquir-
ing this precious heirloom is what. takes
hold Of me-"
A Practical View = Miss G~rabbaule /:
swell, we've made something out Of our
parties, anyway. They left FIVE fans, and
Alice Roseleaf dropped this lovely curl
Just my shade. She won't ask for it, SO 1
mean to keep it-Lampoon.
De big sunfower may rise above
De modest later vino,
An brag about its Sunday clothes,
An put on airs so fine;
But when de winter howis around,
An de snow lies at de doah,
De big ~sunhower, oh whRr am hef
RI De 'tater hcz de foah
A tutor of q college, lecturing q young
man on his irregular conduct, added, with
great pathos The report Of your vices
will bring your fathers gray hairs with
sorrow to the grave" " / beg your pardon,
sir" replied the pupil, my father. wears
n wig"
The Hdukeye Gays that after a man who
has always maintained the highest standing
in the religious community has once run
across the backyard after dusk and tried to
cut the clothes line in two with his chin, he
always has to explain to his Mortified wife
that he got into the habit Of swearing in
the army
When James called up one Sunday night,
Agiow with loves bright flames,
He sought the sofa where she sat,
"Sofa, 80 good,~ said James.
A year thrice told has come and gone,
= With Joys, and hopes, and bother,
Now stands a CRIB where the sofa did,
Says James, a. little father.
You need not be afraid of giving too
much. The old darkey said: "f any oh
you know OBJ any church what died OBJ iiber.
atty, jes tell me whar it is, an I will take
n pilgrimage to it, an by the soft light Oh
de palc moon l will crawl upon its moss.
covered roof an write upon de topmast
single, Blessed am de lead who die in
de Lord.
Sergeant-Major: Now, Private Smith,
you KNOW very wen lone Dut OmcerS and
non-commissioned officers are allowed to
walk across this grass 7" Private Smith i:
'.But, Sefgeant-Major, I've Capt. Graham's
verbal orders to-" Sergeant Major None
o that, sir Show me the captains verbal
orders d. Show Elm to me, sir ?"-Punch.
One of the funniest, most nggrayating ty-
biographical errors OIL record has Just pro-
duced a hurricane. accompanied by thunder
and lightning. inthe office of the Lynchburg
Tfyfnidn. Its editor, on glancing over his
powerful leader, ut the breakfast table on
Thursday morning last, was astonishedb to
find that he was made to say that the farm.
ers would forget their : pantry and nursery
in the excitement of politics. The manu-
script read poverty md misery. ctO
A fiieEd of mine went a few days back
to have n tooth stopped. The dentist ad.
vised him that he had better have the tooth
taken out, and assured him that he would
feel no pain if he took laughing gas. "But
what is the effect of the gas 7 /" asked my
friend. IL simply makes you totally in
Sensible" remarked the dentist ; "you
don't know anything that takes place"
My friend submitted, bnt just previous to
the gas being administered he put his
hand in his pocket and pulled out his
money. !" oh, don't trouble about that
now" said the dentist, thinking he was
going to be paid his fee. mot ut all, "
remuiked the patient; :" I was simply going
to see how much 1 had before the gas took
effect. "1LOndon Truth.
fkgEHtD lHn rvs
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