Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1878-06-20

yellow fever IN his clothes, as re-
marked before) 1 deter mined to risk
my life to hear his story.
You see, he went on, when l was
quite young, there was considerable
rivalry in the milk business around
the place where / was brought np, land,
As there was quite crowd of rich city
people spending the summer in the
neighborhood, there was good chance
to make money on COW juice.
Somehow or other there was a re-
port circulated that all the milk and
butter purchased in the place was
strongly favored with wild onions.
Says /, I'll make my mark now; so l
put my little idea into execution.
vas successful, you bet, and nobody
could understand what kind Of milk i
was giving them.
You see, fed the cows on violets,
loleanders, geraneums, ,mignODette, &c,
IN order to get the fragrance of those
flowers into the milk and butter; and,
you bet, got all sorts of pufs, ads,
enc0miums, etc., till couldn't rest. l
made money, too.
You just ought to have tasted one OF
those milk puncbes-yCu talk about
your boss eliyirs,- whoa. jiminyp
Seeing that he WIS completely car
reid away with himself, assured that
1 believed every word he said (Which
was lie), and L should be only too
happy to listen 10 any othef reminis-
cences he might have to relate. This
refreshed him so much that he COM
pletely forgot the COWS and branched
off as follows:
Il once thought that l could make an
independent fortune if l could only
raise fresh vegetables of all kinds in
midwinter. Iknew thai rich people
would pay big prices for anything OF
the kind, 50 ! set to work in good
earnest to ascertain if could bring
my hopes into blossom
His metaphor was amusing.
lsYou see, l selected a good sized
patch behind the house, and about two
feet beneath the surface l laid large
iron pipes about foot apart. A short
distance away had a huge furnace
built, and hired fireman to keep Ii in
full blast all the time.
The steam from-this furnace passed
through the pipes and Produced the
necessary amount Of heat to counteract
the effects of the cold; and the beauty
of the thing was that it made the
things grow quick. You could see the
seeds burst ike percussion caps.
why, used to raise several crops
in one winter. AS soon as I'd get the
thing going, the maple trees would
commence to give syrup, and buds
would burst all around. l tell you /
| just made things howl, and don't
You forget it!' 90
be would carr Y ihething, + interrupts
ed bin by saying: You said the vege-
tables developed very rapidly?'
Rapidly" he responded, with a con-
temptuous chuckle, we'll I think they
did; why, the carrots and turnips grew
so fast under the influence of that
steam, that after they made their APP
pearance above the grounds i used to
be compelled to lay planks with
weights on them over the rows to
keep them from jumping into the air. ,
tRemarkablev l exclaimed.
zone day. he continued, with Iut no,
ticing my interruption, my grand-
mother went Out to take a look at
things, and thfongh her clumslness
she kicked plankOf the last stnrnip
in therow, and .belore sue knew what
was the matter, it flew up and almost
knocked the brains out of her.
1 thought il about time to get away
from this amateur Ananias, but he
anticipated me and said:
. Those were only boyish frivolities;
just wait till tell you about the time
WREN 1 grated wings into pigs, and
had them flying around the house like
pigeons
What L shouted, totally over
come by his utter serenity of counte-
nance; for he appeared to be in dead
earnest.
s'Never mind, then,' he went on,
.pll leave the pigs until the lasi, and
tell you how l found perpetualx mo-
lion. You see, old Dobbin died and
we didn't know what to do, because
we were greatly in need of horsehesh
TO drag stone. We were completely
puzzled at first, but l soon fixed things.
81 got ssTpiece Sof sleadstone beayier
than the wagon and fixed it on the
pole; tIieus1 screwed a huge bar Of
steel on the axle tree 1 40 more than
did this than nkthel6aastone eotnmeD I
ced to draw, and, as if was heavier
Than the wagon, and the steel wouldn't
give, OF course ii hauled it right along.
The day tried the experiment the
wagon was empty with the exception
of myself. 1t increased in speed every
moment, and went so fast that / was
afraid to jump off. Finally, it attain
ed such velocity that couldn't see
the trees. / don't know how far /
went, or bow manylpersons Iran over,
but after / had been travelling about
five minutes the old thing ran into a
stone church and almost killed me.
WAS three hundred miles from home.
AT this moment my friend arrived,
and left the agficulturist. Heseem-
ed disconsolate as 4 badeE him adieu;
but l felt happy at being delivered
from the ordeal of listening to the pig
story which he promised to tell, and
only regretted that when he collided
with the church he Was not summa-
rily mangled beyond repair. % - s.
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