The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-07-11
SENSE AND NONSENSE.
An Dated animal: the horse.


SLAVE of the still: servants in q deaf
and dumb asylum.
DoN'r worry over the little ills of
life. 1t is like swinging a sledge ham,
mer to kill fly.
PUrtwo slices of cucumber into a pho
nograph, and hear whether or not it
yells for q doctor.
READING makes fell man; conf
dence, . ready man; and writing, an
exact man.-Bacon.
A NAN should always know who is at
the other end of the wire before he lets
himself out over q telephone.
THE Detroit Free Press wisely says
"a soft answer turneth away wrath; but
you can't fool tramp that way.'.'
MANY girls have no mind to speak
of, and yet they are continually talking
about giving somebody piece of it.
A NEW YORK paper finds that 1924
different languages are spoken in
America. No wonder husband does
not always understand when asked for
q new dress.
A VIRGINIA woman refuses to marry
a baldheadcd man, though he is a mill
ionaire. She explains: "We'd have
family fight some time, and he has no
hair to catch hold Of"
AN Indiana preacher made use of the
expression 1.-THE iconoclastic segregate
of sin,'' last Sunday, and has already
received a call to church in Boston,
Cincinnati Breakfast Table.
"AHr' sighed a hungry tramp, Il
wish I was boss; blame if don't.
He's nearly always got bit in his
mouth, while I haven't had bit in
mine for two days." -Norristoscn Her.
aid.
PROFEssOR-"Can you multiply to-
gether concrete numbers?" The class
are uncertain. Professor" What will
be the product of five apples multiplied
by six potatoesP' Freshman triumph.
antly)-" HASH"
A COxCOMB, talking of the transmit
grafton of souls, said: "In the time of
Moses, have no doubt was the gold
en- calf" "Very likely" replied a
lady, "and time has robbed you of
nothing but the gliding"
ALADY told her minister that she did
not miss his beautiful sermons half as
much as one might suppose, during an
illness, because her servant sat at the
window every Sunday morning, and
what they had on.
LAST year an editor offered his pa
per one year for the largest watermel-
on. The offer has not been repeated
this season. Instead Of doubling up his
subscription list by the grand scheme,
the melons did nothing but double up
the editor.-N. o. Picayune.
COLLEGE PROFESSOR Ito Junior who
has been taking advantage of his alb
sent-mindedness) "Young man, l find
on looking over the records that this
makes the fifth time in two years that
you have been granted leave Of absence
to attend your grandmother funeral. J"
l-Harper's Bazaar.
A PROVIDENCE youngster of six
years, whose father had kept hens but
q few weeks, visited q playmate the
other day, to find him a patient to
chicken-pox. The mistress of the house
asked him if they had had the chicken
pox over to his house, and was much
amused ut the reply with all gravity:
"No; we haven't had our hens long
enough yet"
How MUCH may be conveyed by a
nod or shrug of the shoulders! You
can hurt o mans character sometimes
as much by not saying anything for him
as by saying a great deal against him.
1t is Scott, we believe, who speaks OF
these social guerillas as
Long breatl,'d takers. minion lispers.
Cutting honest throats by whispers.
N. Y. Herald.
Two OLD Texas ranchers, who had
Just helped bury neighbor, were talk.
ing about religion, and one asked the
other how pious he thought it was pos
sible for a man to get in this world, il
he was in real earnest. "Wal," said
the other, ref1ectively, II think If
man gets SO t he can swop steers OF
trade bosses without lynn, at he'd bet
ter pull out for the better land afore he
has relapse"
BISHOP CLARK tells story of city
clergyman who was once invited t.
preach in small country church, ant
the choir thought they would get up
very elaborate performance for hi
benefit. They were more ambitiou'
than successful, and when they ha6
finished, before giving out his text, tn,
preacher looked up to the gallery ant
said: ..My friends. if the angels il
Heaven should hear you sing. the.
would come down and wiring you
necks." It was not a courteous thin.
to do, but the provocation was probabl..
very great.
i We know daughters whose snuff-bot
ties are concealed in their rooms, wher'
they use the contents constantly, with
out the knowledge of their parents
We have seen at boarding schools girl
20 into Mysteries when deprived for
day or two Of their snuff, and borrow
tobacco from the servants as q substi
tute until they could obtain their usua
stimulant of Scotch or Maccaboy; AM
we are well acquainted with three sis
tiers beautiful young girls, were it no
, for the sallow hue furnishing thei
complexions-who are at present IN
der medical treatment for derange
ment of the nervous system and diges
tive organs, arising from their con
slant use of snuff.-AtlastG (GG.) Sna
ny South.