West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-04-13
EVERYDAY SPICERIES.

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EVERYDAY SPICERIEs.
HENS como into the world by the
hatchway. .-Nc'o York Grdphic.
FEBRUARY, March - Camden Post. So
that April May,-OR city Derrick.
The Cincinnati Breakfast Stable is
not a one-horse concern.--OH CITY Der
rick.
WHEN does II man become "burn-
ing" poet2 When he's n versifier.-
NcC York Commercial
TnEbald.headed darkey was not elected
member of n literary club, because he
was black-bald. ."-Hdckensock Rcpubh-
can.
To hit II sleepy worshiper on the head
with n contribution box is merely
bump of benevolence. .-- Ne0 Orleans
I,r1ylmc.
EusEBIus was not the original manu-
facturer of eyeglasses, although his
name is remarkably signifcant.-Nc
York AciCs.
lT is said that one of the bravest Off
GERS in the Russian Army signs his name
with his mark. He must be soldier of
the cross.-Ncio York HcrdH.
WHAT we want to know is, will the
setting up of u wig manufactory i'm the
Indian territory ameliorate the passion
OF the wild red man for scalps2
"a SwEDE has invented machine
that will knit stockings in one piece"
But almost ony person would prefer
stockings in two pieces Worcester Press
In is just as honorable to found
business successfully on credit, as il is to
hold up the top end of ladder by
resting IL against n rainbow Whitehall
Times.
WHY have the funny men of America
been 40 dull this winter2 Answer First
They haven't Answer second-Be-
cause it's been nopun winter. Phild-
dciphia Bulletin.
WE do not think that Solomon, in all
his glory, ever felt so supremely happy
as the man who has just found fifty
cent scrip in the pocket of an old cast
away vest Turner'S Fails Reporter.
THE Bridgeport Standard has an ar
ticle on 4" How to Prevent Hard Times"
We are afraid il is little too late to
prevent 'em. 1t ought TO have been at
tend TO several days ago DdRbwy Ncws
vEREAL WARNINGS.
A zephyr from the southwark
Through the open window blows,
with ita prophecies Of Jessamine,
OF mgnOnette and rose;
But voice from II In calling
Don I leave of your winter clothes"
Through the foilness Of the tropics
In the wings of March ~ set
And the blucbirds and the pansics
Their appointed time forget;
Comes warning with the blandnesa--
Wear your winter nannelH yet"
--NeD FORK Sun
rs there danger of the supply of fuel
becoming exhaustedP P' asks scientific
writer. If he lives i'm n close neighbor-
hood, and don't keep his coal house
locked we should think there is.-- Brook
ellie Democrat.
a PHILOSOPHER says, awe learn TO
climb by keeping our eyes not on the
hills behind us, but on the mountains
that rise before us." Another good way
is TO take n couple rods the start and try
10 beat an enthusiastic bull dog over a
nine-foot back yard fence Worcester
Press.
a POETEss weighing one hundred and
sixty pounds yearns 4" 10 twitter as
bird on some lone spray" When she
gets on spray and begins 10 twitter
there is going 10 be an item for the local
paper, unless the spray is as thick as
an underground gas-pipe. Norristoton
HcrdH.
AFTER the rain one evening q Somer-
set woman found her husband on his
hands and knees i'm the back yard trying
TO crawl through puddle. In tones Of
anguish she asked him what he was do
ing there. SHIP he said, the direct
cable is broke, an (hic) Pm grapplin' for
it.".--Nct0 York Heraid.
A YOUNG man in New York consulted
a fortune teller, and asked what he
should do to succeed "Do right" was
the answer. He did write, his employers
name on the back Of q check, and is now
in Europe, with twenty-five thousand
dollars weighing down his pants
pocket. - Bridgport Standard
ONE OF the arguments advanced in
favor Of changing schOOl-boOks is the
Old-fashioned look the illustrations
present when they become a generation
or two old. There is some logic there,
sure, and we can imagine no earthly
necessity for blighting the lives Of sweet
little children with the knowledge that
their grandmOthers used 10 wear such
excruciatingly horrible pantalets az tho
pictures indicate Cincinnati Bre0kfGst
Table.
NY KINGDOM ~ THE CLOUDS.
I sat end ggzed into the burning sky
Where, like some a dying king, tho parting day,
ln calm majestic prcscienco of decay,
Lighted hs pyfe, that be q king might die.
Aud ], whose thoueht upsoors on wider wings.
Since thy pure toal has brcsthed into my ne
quickeued kiuship with div ner ihings--
builded there, remote from din and strife,
a spacious solitude, where thou and
Might reign, uniroubicd Boy the space of time
How with Thy hoetost wish Inc cloud would thrill,
And, like some sweet, uumedifated rhyme.
Bend win meodiou' impui'e 10 ihy viii
And T. strong fro thy love, unTuaillngly
Would greet The gazo of dread r.ernifv
m ~ EaFfr1 f arltner.
a NEWLY MARRIED Uaubuy man
went home the other evening and found
his wife asleep ON the lounge. lie
knecled beside her and devoured her
with his loving eyes. John" she muir
INJURED i'm her sleep. Yes. my pet
what is itg he whispered, thrilled TO