The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-02-03
NOOK MARRIAGES


newborn mountain State. week OF two
since. Il. b. Mcltoiand, Sd the story goes,
aap,1ty sheriff Of Huerfano county, Col, e.
A. Palmer, agent Ut The Denver and Rio
Grande Railroad, and another gentleman,
who figures as m unknown" were visiting
three yeung ladies' Of the small but rapidly
growing town Of Laveta Misses Kate Lewis,
Addia Patterson and Laura Patterson. Small
talk being exhausted, one OF the men peas
aiatly proposed triple mock martiage-lusc
Tor the fun Ut the thing.
The girls were delighted with the 'dea.
Here was O chance to rehearse that Interest,"
ing ceremony; To prepare themselves TO go
through The real thing with becoming dignity
whenever Providence that is to say, when
ever d young man should propose lheV
la,lehingly agreed TO the marriage and wanted
proceedings To be begun at olce. third
marty. OF rather seventh party, was accord
inpiy sent for TO help along In the fun and
rive the ceremony the appearance OF genuine"
ness aud reality. In few minutes a mild
hammered man. answering To the name OF
Tpllemire, appeared on the scene and cele~
bratsd the marriage at once just as 1t Is
down Iii the books. In q few minutes the we'd
ding was over, and the six pronounced three
The girls laughed heartily over the affair,
and one Of them remarked To Tollemire that
IL was real jolly good joke,
i'Joke,' he answered, "why, It's no Joke
am d justice Of the peace, and you are u
Just as fast married as you can be"
There was chorus Of shiieks OF this news
the young ladies' cried and tainted, the young
men looked silly and Toietnire left the house
hastily, the true situation beginning to dawn
upon him. The shfieks Of the girls brought
the master OF the house, father Of two OF
Them to the parlor; there was swearing and
threats Of shooting; and the three bride
Ureoms sljnked away to their bachelor quar-
tets. not quite certain that they had the best
of the joke.
Az for the young ladies. their wedding night
was most unhappy. They wept for hours
together. TRYING to devise some means of es-
cape from their bonds just forged for them,
and plotting vengeance against these jocular
Young men who had 80 basely deceived them.
SUCH at least, ID The story told by the Col
prado papers. The sequel seems doubtful.
The q,iasi-mock marriage Joke has been quite
MI epidemic during the past year, numerous
cases of Ii have occurred in various sections
OF the country, and people consequently have
had good chance TO study Ii scientifically
This Study will show the falsity of the sequel
TO the Colorado affair.
When rase Of this kind occurred III Troy
New York. some months ago. where a young
farmer went through the ceremony, supposed
mock, Of n marriage, which subsequently,
turned out to be the genuine old article, will
young lady from New York, 1t was explained
that this was universal custom with the
people of Rensselaer, county. A dozen similar
cases have occurred since, In all Of which the
story was almost the same We were treated
In all of them to exactly the same picture %
the unfortunate victim, the poor girl who had
been trapped into this supposed mock mar
riage: her woe and sorrow when she diseov.
ernd II 10 be genuine; her hatred Of the base
wretch who had deceived her; and her firm
determination never to see him again, but t.
procure divorce ut once.
But. II we investigate little further. we
will find that this threatened divorce never
comes, and that the girl finally agreea. after
much entreating. to acknowledge the mar
rage. @
There seemH to be n disposition on thu
part Of the newspapers 10 regard the me,
as deceivers In these cabea, the wornel
ma deceived. This is undoubtedly mis-
take On the subject of marriage man Ii
but d mere infant compared to woman
What man, for instance ever retires to thu
solitude Of his room, or better still. t,
some eequestered and romantic nook, wher,
the ripping brook Ia whispering words o
love and the trees signing sweet melodies
where2 etc; what man La there that secretl,
creeps to this spot to read over to himself tn
marriage service; and what woman has no
done this, appropriately filling the blank
and substituting some favored youth for tina
A. b., who is always taking M. N. for his wife
Why, the Ignorant fellows don't even know
what finger the wedding ring belongs on; at
totally ignorant Of all the traditions Of mar
tiage fetes, and are oonspcuously supertluou
and troublesome at the wedding.
Deceive woman in a marriage particular
iy. la mock-real marriage neverl For
hundred years these mock marriages hav
been the stock trade of those famous scr
blers who fill the pages of the weekly stor
papers with their trash. Mock marriage
that are genuine, genuine marriages that ar
mock are as necessary to u story In the Ledge
a. missing heir or a lost will. And as til
chief consumers Of this sort OF literatur,
which furnishes Byronie heroes at ten cents
number, are girls. 1t ia folly TO suppose any G
the sex Ignorant OF this mock marriage joke
which Is far older than Homer
The true victim OF this joke is the man.
mock marriage that turns out to be genuin
liz extremely popular with girls for man
reasons. Tt is decidedly romantic, far ahea
of an elopement and fully equalling in I,
rnnnra n wedding by tho side af tho s,1ryin
waves or far up amid the drifting clouds. An
then 1t brings the husband to their feet
once He must sue for pardon, must subm
to be abused and threatened and must promis
everything. With these many advantage
that the supposed mock marriage affords, it
no wonder the girls willingly allow themselve
10 bs deceived into them.