The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-07-24
TROUBLES or A 70 EFT.
By MAX ADLER.

While Col. Bangs, editor of the Argus, was
sitting in his office one day, a man whose
brow was clothed with thunder entered.--
Fiercely seizing chair, he slammed his hat
on the table, hurled his umbrella on the floor,
and sat down.
Are you the editor y he asked.
"Yes"
Can you read writing ~
"Of course
"Read that, then,n said he, thrusting at
the Colonel an envelope with an inscription
on it.
Oh" said the Colonel. trying to spell
it.
That's not B !; it's an 81 said the
man.
"SP Oh, yes see. Well, the words look
little like Salt for Dinner or Souls Of
Sinners said the Colonel.
No, sir" replied the man, "nothing OF
the kind. That's my name-Samuel HI. Brun-
ner knew you couldn't read. called to
see you about that poem of mine you print
ed the other day on the Surcease of Sor-
row."
" don't remember it," said the Colonel.
"Of course you don't, because it went into
the paper under the title of Smearcase To.
morrow
g A stupid blunder of the compositor's,
suppose"
Yes, sir and that's what l want to see
you about. The way in which that poem was
mutilated was simply scandalous. l haven't
slept night since. 1t exposed me to deris.
ion. People think am an ass. Let me show
you.o
eco ahead" said the Colonel.
'The first line, when wrote it, read this
way:
Lying by weeping willow, underneath gentl,
slope.
:" That is beautiful, poetic affecting. Now
how did your vile sheet present 1t to the pub
licP There it is Look at that Made il
read this way
Lying to weeping widow, to induce her to elope
I" Weeping oidop, mind you A widow
This is too much It's enough to drive any
person crazy"
g ! am very sorry" said the Colonel, "but
-"
+" But look a-here at the fourth verse;" said
the poet. "That's worse yet. What said
was /:
Cast thy pearls before the swine aud lose them in the
wrote that out clearly and distinctly, in
plain, round hand. Now, what does your
compositor do? Does he catch the sense OF
that beautiful sentimept2 Does it SINK into
his soul? No, sir! He sets it up in this
fashion
Cart thy pills before the sunrise and love them il they
hurt
"Now, isn't that cold-blooded outrage on
mans feelingsP I'll leave it to you if it
isn'tp''
cit is hard, that's fact" said Colonel
Bangs.
And then take the fifth verse. Ia the
original manuscript it said, as plain as day
light:
Take away thy jnsling money; 1t is only gtterins
"A man with only one eye, and cataract
over that, could have read the words correct
ly. But your pirate upstairs--do you know
what he did? He made it read
Take away thy jeerng monkeys on sorcy -glandercd
boss.
"By George, felt like Draining him with
fire. shovel was never cut up 80 in my
life."
cit was natural too" said the Colonel.
There for instance was the sixth verse.
wrote:
am weary of the tossing Of the as II heayes
at is a lovely line, too but imagine my
horror and the anguish of my family, when |
opened your paper and saw the lines trans
formed into
am wearing out my trousers till they open at the
knees
"That's little too much ! That seems to
me like carrying the thing an inch or two too
far. / thiuk have constitutional right to
murder that compositor don't youP"
81 think you have"
I" Let me read you one moro verse;
wrote
l swell the flying echoes as they roam among the
hills
And I feel my soul awaken TO the ecstacy that thrills
"Now, what do you s'pose your miserable
outcast turned that into? Why, sir, into
this
I smell the frying shoes they roast among the
bulls,
And peel my soul mistaken TO the erertary wbirs.
"Gibberish, sir! Awful gbberish. | must
slly that man. Where is hep"
"He is out just now" said the Colonel
"C0me In tomorrow"
~ will" said the poet land will come
armed"
Then he put on his hat, shouldered his uin-
brella, and drifted off down stairs.
--~--4Sb-~-
It's 1.-THE Pit.sburg platform'sl charges 4.