The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1878-10-16
WIT AND HUMOR.


won at Last'-The shoernaker's money.
AS wall papers come down in price they
go up on the walls.
Remember Lots wife, and avoid letting
anything turn you head.
Would you refer to the religion of the
printers devil" as imp piety?
Why is a woodp pecker like a tramp? An
swer Because he bores for his grub.
When you cut give me good deal, said
the hungry uchre player.-New York Mail.
Dean Stanley sstonished some Bostonians
by telling them that he had never explored
Africa.
About 367 newspapers will remark that
the Afghanistan trouble is ameer trifle.-
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Said the young mans ear to the young
man, (quoting Brutus): Must give way
and room to your rash COLLAR
Counsel TO witness: .ssYou re a nice sort of
fellow, you are!' Witness: I'D say the
same TO you, sir, on'y Pm on my oathln
The washer-woman's motto is soap on.
soap ever" Boston Post. Sometimes it is
''slop on, slop over."-N. n. Reg.
Joint debate: The one held between the
| stoEe-pipe will fit that.-Chicago Journal.
There is a He'll street in Paris. 1t is
| paved in the usual way.--Keokuk Consti-
tuition. With good indentions?-New Ha-
ven Register.
Queen Victoria asked the king of Siam il
he.would like to be decorated, and the old
fellow SAID, "Yes, if you'll take me just as
| Siam. Boston Post
Il
a nearer view of a handsome bulldog, be
must take the chances of his sketching the
dog, or the dogs ketching him.
/ A burglar broke into New Jersey house,
| deVoured quantity OF mince meat and
dropped dead at the gate. Nevertheless,
pass that pie.-Detroit Free Press.
''Dere was only leedle difference be-
tween u.s." sand burly TeutoA, who had
| just Lorsewhipped another. ST vas oxhided
und he vas cowhided-dots all. Puck.
| A justice of the peace of Arizona ruled out
the evidence Of all witnesses, chased both
| lawyers out of doors, knocked the plaintiff
over a bench, and decided mo cause of ac-
tlon."
| An old granger, who came into town to
purchase piano for his daughter, asked the
sgent il he hadn't one with handle IN the
1 q
| while"
They pulled the boots off a man before
| they buried him in Dead W ood the other day,
| causing the local paper to come out in Sc
we're article denouncing "extravagance at
/ funerals"
A clergyman who was recently called up
to hold services in the state prison at SING
| Sing, prefaced his remarks TO the prisoners
by saying that he was glad TO see so large a
number present"
An editor with nine unmarried daughters
was recently made unjnstly indignant by the
misconstruction his contemporaries put upon
his able leader on "The Demand for Men,
Burlington Hawkeye.
Editors like brevity, but a man who was
recently hung in Indiana suited them too
well. He made no remarks about heaven,
| but nodded to the preacher and said: "Pn
see you later" and then the trap fell.
The Norristown Herald wants to send the
| nine-wived man to jail for $50 years, because
| no fair minded gentleman would try to make
| a corner in wives until DR.. Mary Walker and
Mr.. Tilden had each secured one.
A lecturer, addressing a mechanics insti-
| tute, contended that "art could not improve
| nature" when one of the audience set the
! whole assembly in roar by exclaiming,
L
A Chicago girl left Cape May the other day
wearing five different engagement rings.
She goes in for Troy weight instead of love.
This is one of the D-rroy Free Press
weightiest iokes.-New York Commercial
| Advertiser.
Fussy and partially deaf officer, inspecting
stables-"Ah Smith, what on earth have
| yon been cleaning your harness withr'
Smith-"Nothing, sir.' Oficer-"Ah, then
don't de it with that again; see how 1t rots
the leather. Fun.
The cooks in Boston have struck fryer
wages.-Grsphic Their interests were prob
ably at steak.-Boston Post. That is well unz
erstewed.-Commercia Bulletin. The b1si-
ness, in fact, being overdone and good situa-
tions Boston Advertiser.
Feathers will be universally worn this
winter-Fashion Item. If the American
people are going TO take to feathars univsr-
sally they will be tar-nation sight worse
stuck up than eyer.-Philadelphia Bulletin