The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1878-05-11
ALL SORTS.

ton in bankruptcy before il is cvcrlastingly
too late Cincinnati Times.
When David said in his haste, "All men
are liars, he was in such hurry he never
thought Of Mrs. Tilton.-Brooklyn Eagle.
The New England Antiquarian society is
negotiating for Gail Hamilton as pre-his
toric relic New York Tribune.
The Marshal President of France: Is
Colonel John W. Forney, of Philadelphia,
here He is. Then let the exposition com.
mencc to exposish.-Phladelphia Press
A person being asked why he gave his
daughter in marriage 10 man with whom
he was at cnmity, answered: II did 1t ou,
of pure revengc"-Evansville journal.
The lates, style Of kids is the twenty-sey.
en- button gloves, which are Joined back of
the ears, and serve to keep the hair from
tickling the neck. Pittsburg Post.
One reason why the war has been SO hard
on the Turkish people is because the loss
Of one Turkish soldier has widowed an av-
erage Of four wives.---Salt Lake Herald.
II would interview Apollo" says Gath.
"if ] could hold him long enough by the
hair" With Gath clinging 10 his hair what
sweet pair of lyers Apollo would have
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Philanthropis,s would have never worried
an hour over the prospects Of the colorcd
race if they had only paused to reflect how
well heeled that race is.-N. Y. Times.
Lotta cuts off the coupons from 100000
in government bonds every quarter-day. So
much for having shapely pair of intel
lects and an esthetic banjo-San. Francisco
Chronicsi
Stealing coon skin cost a Tennessee
negro two years imprisonment in the peni.
Tertiary. He would have saved time by
coming to Chicago and killing a man.
The woman vino can kick her trail high
enough 10 grab j, in her hand has all the
capital stock owned by Lydia Thompson
eighteen years ago. Perseverance will do
it.-ConTegationalist.
Soap and water and clear conscience is
how Mrs. General Gaines has retained her
youthfulness, That is all the medicine an
editor can command, vet see how rapidly
they sge.-CsHton Mail.
Several wears ago young man in Chicago
put sum Of money in savings bank and
forgot all about il until recently, when, at.
ter reckoning up the interest, il was found
that-the bank had faied.-Chicago In.
ter Ocean.
The new gun invented 10y DR.. McAllis,er,
Of Mississippi, shoots 1000 balls minute
and cIterminates several regiments al a
time. IL takes the medical profession, az
ter all, TO depopulste country y.
sun.
The New Orleans collcctorship is at last
settled. and Packard isn't the man, either.
Lie PinktOn and the rest Of the Louisiana
girls may now begin war on the president,
Fraud fraud Memphis Avalanche.
Who is the Man Of the HOuri" asked
modern poet. We know; the fellow who
keeps dinner waiting minute. (Our wife
told VI that answer. The one We thought
up had something in il about quitting work
prompty.--Buffalo Express.
Barnum. the Snowman, il generally re.
garded as a man who fears no competition
but il is asomev hat signiiican, fact that he
never starts out with his circus and mcnag
erie till the Connecticut legislature has dis
banded for the season. Hartford Courant
Unless the managers at the Paris cxhbi-
tion advertise their programme in the Nor
ristoNn Herald, We cannot promise them
many visitors from this part Of the country
II their old show j. failure. We shall know
st4. .,
Herald.
4 ncwly.arrivcd Chinaman has only
twenty-five letters Of the English alphabet
To learn heis well acquainted with t Gin.
cinati Saturday Night. He is also apt to
be familiar with sea, and is sure 10 have
cue in his head He knows YOU and mos,
likely has seen bce.-Hawkeye.
The eccentric genius who delights in sta
stistcs says that every man cats on an ay.
crage eight bushels Of wheat in the course
OF u year. We could point out men who
consume at least twenty five bushels of corn
in the same time. hu, they don't take the
trouble to chew it.--Elizabcth Herald.
Ministers Of the gospel are slowly but
surely learning the art Of paragraphng.
You can hear more in modern sermon Of
half an hours length than you could in an
ancient one, which occupied two hours in
the delivery, but you don't get as much fire
and birthstone as you used to,--Oil City
Derrick.
Gail HAMILTON wears very light corscts,
and sometimes, a. she looks out Of the win
dow drcamtully at the full noon she turns
smilingiy around 10 see if man really is
there squeezing her, hut her brow resumes
rigidly a. she pcrccivcs il j. nothing hut
the phantom Of her hopes.--Chicago Tri-
bunc.
Edison permitted Gail Hamilton to speak
into his new street phonograph recently.
There was scrccch like steam whistle;
the cylinder made 142 revolutions in a min.
Ute, and tie tiniul was rolled up into bull
let and shot through window, killing
seven head Of cattle in Il distan, field
4 fashion journal says Nothing will be
Worn this summer by the fair sex, except
Longitudinal! striped hose Good bye
We are off 10 the Fiji islands, where the We.
men. in addition 10 II red string around the
left anclc, wear bracelets of sharks teeth
around the the was, and tishbonc in the
nose.--N. Y. Churchman,
ont in Missouri town If nine hundred
inhabitants, there are cighthundrcd members
OF IA total abstinence club and the habit of'
winking when ordering lemonade, has az
/ II