Mexico weekly ledger., 1878-03-21
DRUMMER'S GAS.
William Blacks "Green Pastures snd
Piccadilly,"

William Blacks "Green Pastures end
Piccadilly.'
We had for our nearest travelling
companions two commerclsl gentle
men of facetious turn, who certain
ly did their best to amuse OR women
folk. 1t was the Lieutenant, OF
course, who made their acquaints nee.
One was a Philadelphian and the 9th
er n New Yorker; but both were i'll
the sewing machine business. They
We're merry gentlemen. They ven
tmed to ask what might he Won
Rosen's line of business-whitc
goods. or iron, or Wr>tcrn produce.
And if il is white goods, what
then = said the eN-soldier. with great
sang froid
"Why, sir, said the Philadelphia
IN. gravely taking out n number OF
carols. ''hecause money is money, and
biz is biz; and you want To know
where to hug cheap. That's Phila-
dephia. surc-the American me-
tropolis he largest city in the world
yes, sir,-eightcen miles by eight
two rivers--going TO have the Cen
tennial-thc best shad--''
He was regarding the New Yorker
all this time.
"Ycs. !" said his cOmpan-
ion, with affected contempt; for We
could see that they were bent on be-
ing amiably funny. IF you want
shad 90 to Philadclphia-and cat
fish, too-cattish suppers at the Falls
only Is cents head. And fresh
butter, TOGO to Philadelphia for
fresh butter, and red birds, and cOun-
try bOard--best country board out
side Of Jersey keep their own cows
fresh milk and all that. But if you
want To trade, Colonel. come to New
York. New York amt no village :,
no one-horsr place; nn pigs around
onr streets. We've got the finest
harh"r. IN the world; the highest
Slecplcs; the tin;s II park the greatest
newspapers; the most magnificent
buildings why, talk about your
Coliseums, and Tuiileries, and White
chapel, and them one horse shows
come and see our Empire City;
Yes; and leave your purse in
Philadelphia before you go!" retorted
his enemy who quite entered
into the spirit Of the thing. "And
ask your friend to show You the new
Courthouse, and tell you how much
that cost, Then let him drive you
up the avenues, and have your life
insured before you start, and show
yOu the ar-and-sand, the husband
molasses pavements. Then ask him
to introduce you to his friend the
Boss, and mebbe he'll tell you how
much the Boss got away with. And
then about the malaria And the
fever and aguei And the smallpox
And people diving off so fast that
they've got 10 rnn spe> >ial trains lor
the corp,es. And the Harlem Flats. -
''Now hire hall, won't you?''
said the knickcrbocler. '.Hasn't
our cat got lou. tail? Why, You
could roll up Philadelphia INTO a bun.
die and drop ii into y hole in Tie Iiar-
lem Flats. But wouldn't mislcad
you-no. sir: if you want water pow
er go 10 Philadelphia and grass
splendid grassland mosquitoes! Tell
him about the mosquitoes! Friend OF
mine in the sugar line married and
went to Philadelphia for his honey
moon. Liked quiet country life
no racket eX Cpt rOOstcrs in the morn
inc the COWS and beauties OF
nature--and took his bride 10 first
class hotel. Fine girl~~been chief
engineer Of donble-stich sewing ma
chine. Well. sir, the Philadelphia
mosquitoes Were alive, you bet. In
the morning he took her TO hospital
she had the small-poX-two
weeks before the doctors could find
it out. The mans life was ruined
yes. sir; never recovered from the
shock: business went 10 the dickens /:
and he ian away and joined the Nor
mons"
''Jined the Mormans cried the
PhiIadelphian. 'Wby don't you tell
the General the story right" Don't
fool the man! Jined the Mormons {!
He threw her into a sugar vat sweets
to the sweet scz he--and married her
mother and went to New York and
was elected Mayor as the friend of
Ireland No, General, if you want
to trade Eith Americans, with white
men, you &C me to Philadelphia We
live cheap and sell cheap; and with
cur new line of steamers, and our
foreign trade
s'Tell him about the canal boots
why don't you tell him about the
three canal boats?'' said the other.
scornfully. "It's fact, General,
when three canal boats loaded with
popcorn and sauerkraut got to Phil
.delphia, the Mayor called out the
militia for parade-yes, sir!-the
own was illuminated-the newspaper,
lad leaders on the revival of COM
nerce, and the people all had two