Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1878-04-11
Our; Selected ,StOz'Y.
Adventures Of a Goat in a Garden.

link boys surrounded and caught ali enor
nous, shaggy, strong smelling wicked
looking goat of the masculine gender
turned him loose in Burdock's garden
nailed up the gate, and then went hom
and fiattened their eleven little nose
against the back windtws to Watch 70
coming events.
Before his goatship had spent three min
utes in that garden he had managed t,
make himself perfectly at home, pullin.
down the clothes-linc. and devoured tive
lace collars. pair of undcr-sleeves: and /:
striped stocking belonging to Mrs. B., anC
was husily engaged sampling one of Bur
docks hirtS. when the servant girl cam,
rushing out with q basket Of clothes tt
hang up.
"Thc saints preserve us - she exclaimed
coming 10 full halt, and gazing cpeil
mOuthed at the goat, who was calmly
munching away at the shirt.
''Shew! shew! shcw! there - screamed
the girl, setting down her basket. taking
her skirts in both hands and shaking then
violently at the intrt,der.
Then the goat. who evidently considered
the movement challenge, suddenly drop
ped his wicked old head. and darted at he,
with the force of an Erie locomotive. and
ljust one minute later. by the city hall
clock, that girl had tumbled Il back somer-
sault over the clothes-basket, and was
crawling away on her hands and knees in
search of place to die. accompanied By
the goat. who butted her on the battlefield
every third second.
1t is probable that he would have kept on
putting for the next two weeks it Mrs.
Burdock who had been witness Of the
unfortunate affair. had not armed herself
with the family poker and hurried to the
rescue.
"Mercifll goodness. Annie. do get upon
your teet." she exclaimed. aiming ml,r-
derous blow at the beasts head. and miss
ing it by few of the shortest kind of inch
es. 1t was not repeated. owing to the goat
suddenly rising up on his hind feet. waltz
ing towards her, and striking her in the
small Of the hard enough to loosen her
finger nails and destroy her faith in a glori-
ous immortality.
| When Mrs. b. returned to consciousness
| she crawled OFT from behind the grind
stone, where she had been tossed. and
made for the house. stopping only once,
when tho goat aan,o attnr and hnftad her
head-tirst into the grape arbor.
Once inside the house the door was lock-
ed, and the untortunates sought the soli-
tude of their own rooms, and such COM
forts as they could extract from rubbing
and growing. while the goat wandered
around the garden. like Satan in the Book
Of job. seeking what he could deyOur. and
the eleven little Boblink boys fairly lugged
themselves with pleasure over the perform
ance.
BY the time Burdock returned home that
evening and learned all the particulars
from his arnica-soaked wife, the goat had
eaten nearly all the weeks washing, half
the grapevine, and one side of the clothes
basket.
"Why in thunder didn't you put him
out, and not leave him in there to destroy
everything?'' he demanded in an angry
voice.
Because he wouldn't go, and wasn't
going to stay there and be killed-that's
why" answered hit wife, excitedly.
NV Wouldn't fiddlesticks!' he exclaimed,
making for the garden, followed by the
entire family.
''Get out Of here. you Theft he shout
ed. as he come into the garden and caught
sight of the shaggy and hiyh'y-perfumed
visitor.
The goat bit Off another mouthtul of the
basket. and regarded him with mischiev-
ous twinkle Of the eyes,
you won't go. hey?' exclaimed Bur-
dock, trying to kick a hole in the enemy's
ribs.
''Ill show you wheth-"
The sentence was left unfinished, as the
goat just then dropped Ills head on Bur-
docks shirt bosom: and before he could
recover his equilibrium he had been butted
seven times, in seven fresh spots. and was
down on his knees crawling around in
very undignified manner, to the horror of
the family, and the infinite glee Of the
eleven young Boblinks next door.
look out he don t hurt you - shouted
Mrs b.. as the goat sent him flying into a
snow pile.
When Burdock got his bald head out of
the snow. he was mad all over his clothes.
and tried to clutch the brute by the horns,
but desisted after lie had lost two front
teeth and been rolled in the mud.
..Don't make living show Ct yourself
before the neighbors,' advised Mrs. Bur
dock.
''Come in. pa, ana let him be-" begged
his daughter.
"Golly, dad. look out; he's coming
again ~ shouted his son, enthusiastically.
Then Burdock waxed profane, and swore
three-story oaths in such rapid succession
that his family held their breaths, and
pious old lady who lived in house in the
rear. shut down her window and sent out
her cook to hnnt for policeman or mis-:
sionary.
..Run for it, Dad" advised his son, a
moment later. when the goats attention
seemed to be turned away.
Burdock sprang 10 his feet and followed
his otfspring's suggestion. He was leg
ging it in superb style. and the chances OF
his reaching the house seemed excellent,
when the fragrant brute suddenly clapped
on more steam, gained rapidly, and daIting
between his legs, capsized him into an ash
box.
His family dragged him inside. ano .,ler
candidate for rubbing arnica, and blessed
haven of rest.
The back of the house has been hefmeti- |
cally sealed, and Burdock now proposes
extending an invitation to the militia regi-
ment Of Brooklyn to come down and I rac-
tice craftsmanship off the roof. promising |
to furnish live goat for a target. and