West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-01-12
EVERYDAY SPICERIES.

New ORLEANS Picdyune: Fools and
their back hair are soon parted.
Il. |. MAN: Whenever you have ten
minutes to spare go and bother some ono
who hasn't.
BURLINGTON Hdwk-Eye: The name
OF the potato bug, in Germany, is
Piischtendiriwochten bedenach tosch-
ooptenschaillichtheit.
NEW York Commercial Advertiser:
Because your wife is fair carver, it
doesn't necessarily follow that she's n
good help meat, does it2
BEN ZEEN, who is going to enjoy
Floridian winter, drops into poetry as
follows:
20 come with me 10 the aowcry land,
Where the gator sleeps ON the shelly sand;
Where they raise I'm wi ter their garden truck,
And the orange and palm spring out of the muck
Whore they harness mosqu tos to pail their plows,
Aud rattlesnakes draw the milk from the cove"
BosToN TrdUciicr: Several of tho
ladies present at the TwomblyiVander-
bilt wedding, wore sulphur-colored
dresses. Not much out of place at q
matchmaking scene.
New York Commercial advertiser:
The LATEST man, says Mortimer Collins,
live longest. According TO this process
of reasoning, it must be confessed that
centcnarians ought TO be remarkably
plenty.
ANDREWS Bazaar: Professor Todd
pronounces the "petrified man" of
Colorado fraud. III all the " frauds"
in the United States were petrifed
they'd make enough stone to build n
Chinese wall.
NEW YORK Commercial AdUertiser: A
Fifth Avenue young lady has compiled
list Of her gentleman acquaintance,
and entered their names in a handsome
parlor album. She playfully calls it her
"him-book."
ANDREWS Bazaar A would-be suicide
wrote these farewell words to his wife:
"Dcar Mary, when my body Is dragged
out of the river they can identify IL by
the linen patch you put in the seat of my
black cloth trowsers"
WORCESTER Press: A correspondent
asks, Couldn't you in some way come
down on the slippery condition of the
sidewalksW Judging by our experience
about eleven O'Clock last evening, wo
should rather say that we could.
A TRAMP came out the CoIerain pike
muttering soft aud low
"1hey may low about their Music Hall
And their Exposition show
They may brag about their Southern road,
And their Fountain with its spray,
But they aint got any soup-hOuse,
And dom 'tintepd 10 stay"
60 Cincinnati Star
WORCESTER Press: We observe that
n we'll known corset manufacturer places
his monogram conspicuously on the front
of each article. This method Of adver-
tsing is about as unobtrusivc as an adj
vertisement in our evening contemporary
would be.
ONE sentence from q dramatic criti-
cism in the Black Hills Champion One
of the most versatile ladies that ever
graced the Deadwood stage has packed
her kit, lit out from the land Of the
bowling wilderness, and is en- route for
Chicago, where she will claw scenery and
whoop it up on old Terpsishore.
ARABELLA bfATILDA.
would that might breathe her name,
My simple song would grow diyinei
Even as these molten rubles turn
When split for her-tO holy wine.
-T. +. AMrioh.
Now, pray, confess T. b. my boy
Comics u now, while you have time
That Why her name You do not sing
Is best Of reasons-it won rhyme.
st. L0tffs 0iObe- Democrat.
DIR. FooTE's Healh Monthly: In Eng
land when tramp, male or female,
wants new suit Of clothing, he or she
takes lodging in the workhOuse or Jail
for the night, and before morning tears
into small pieces every scrap of clothing
upon the person. The officers Of course
cannot send them adrift in such con-
dition Of nudity, but after providing
them with clean and sufficient clothing
they arc taken before the magistrate and
committed to six weeks hard labor TO pay
for the garments.