The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1878-10-11
MoNaoE ADVERTISEMENTS.
NTJACHITA LIVERY STABLE,
VALENTINE F. vOGH, PRorRIETqH,
Chr. Third and DeSjard Streets. MoNfocs La
:. :. 9 :. - = - y - =
CHAMBERXAIDS.
An Essay by Mark Twain.

They always put the pillows at the
pposite end of the bed from the gas
burner, so that while you read anu
moke before sleeping Gas Is the anclen.
nave to hold your book aloft, In an
position, to keep tne
light from dazzling your eyes. il.y !
When they find the pillow remOveu He
In the other end of the bed In the lot
morning, they receive not the sueees- res
ton in a friendly spirit, but glorylne to
in their absolute :sovereignty' t anu
MIKE the bed just as it was originally, r.
and ploat in secret over the pang their Il
tyranny will cause YOU.
Always after that, when they nno
Won have transported the pillows, they
nndo your work, and thus DEFY you
and seek to embitter the life that doo
hath given you. :,,..,,arlt
| inconyenient position any other ways,
| they move the bed. 3. -. p
| II Won null your trunk out six incnes i
| rom the wall, SO that the Ito VIII sIay Z;
m when YOU open It, they always
l shove that trunk back again. Iney 10 y
4 II Won want the spittoon In q certain
4 spot, when 1t will be handy, they oon''
il And 60 they move 1t. 10 9s- .l
i They always put you other poow
,,to ;1accessi6le places. They chiefly
lcniov tlepositing them as far under
the bed as the wall win permit. II s
:. BECAUSE this compels you to ger doWn
ia an undignifledi attitude and, MAKE
wild sweep for them In the dark WIZ"
Thev always nut the match box In
. some other place. They hunt up q new
!. place for It every day, and put bottle
or other perishable glass thing, where |
8 the hox stood before. This Is to cause
!. YOU to break that glass thing, cropping
about in the dark, and get yonrse'i
Into trouble. -;
70 the furniture. When you come lns ~
Is night. YOU can calculate on finding the
Z bnreau where the wardrobe was In the
Ae morning. And when you 90 out IN
20 the morning, II you leave the soap
g. hr1shet by the door and the rocking
chaif by the window, when you come
PEI RI, AZ midnight, or thereabout, you
al will fall over the rocking cnalf, anu
1,oal will proceed toward the WINDOW
VS. ksitls sit down In the slop tub. This
clg1 VIII disgust you. They like that.
"a No matter where you put anything.
DO thew won't let it stay there. They Will
of take 1t and move 1t the first chance
nd they get. 1t is their nature. And
ND besides, it gives them pleasure to be
q, Nmean and contrary this way.
g,IiSh They would die II they couldn't bt
MAINS. s..s ~. I..
,EM.I hey always save up the old scraps
OF PN9ted rubbish you throw on tn
noor, Apd stack them UP carefully Q!
COM the tabfN, and then start the fire W.T.
,rty Your valuable mannscrig there is
No mo- on End articataE, scrap that you
o&4he (,reotsdUWn on than any other,
n eatl,elcf you are gradully wearing
esSay ar life out trying to get rid OF, you
fled lay take all the pains you possloly
10 Ian In that direction, but 1t won't ne
ri of any use, because they will always
of fetch that old scrap back and put IL
vt in the same old place again every time.
Nl It does them good.
ne And they use more hair oil than any
by six mon. II charged with purloining
ng the same, they lie about it. What do
IN, lthey care about a hereafter Aosolute'
nut TT Won leave your key In the dool
IN for convenience sake, they will carry
u, Il down to the Office and give 1t to tn
gal clerk. They do this under the VII
we preteice OF trying to protect your pro
cu- ns,rtv from thieves, but actually the.
o}y do IL because they want you to tram
gh hack down stairs after 1t When yo
My come home tired, or put you TO On
no trouble Of sending q waiter ior
or MN something. In which case SUI
hat nose the degraded creatures divide. !,
ncy They keep always coming to mall
Nv; Iup your bed before you get up. tns
uld Destroying your rest and infiicttu
be agony upon you, bat after you GET ~
IS Oh they don't come any more I'LL -
. as next day. 5er g}. 49,,
That Chambermaids are dead to eve
the human instinct.
the have cursed Thorn In behalf OF OF
dues RACED bachelorlom. They deserve
III can get a bill through the Leg
lature abolishing chambermai"s'
49,. mean to do 1t. - .g. . IS
nut, ,s,,, r,.,,,s FAITH. - Eve,
'eeIlo body knows how fond Lord Beacon
~ field is of surprise. One OF the M
W VIZ intelligent Jews I over met with s.
ngton 10Y 1 s.,snr;s.s =, stor., for YOU. and
Justice =, W 80 80 80 ~ HE life