The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1878-09-26
PrOverbial Philosophy.

A. 6AN0S AAA0Ay AAVA VNO OAL "u0t knCy
really have with what they pretended 10
have.
A man who is poor and generous has
fewer friends than the man who is rich
and stingy.
So live that when thy summons comes
you won't fear the constable who serves
it on you.
A doctor enjoys bad health without
ever having tried it, though he has the
patience to do so.
Why is q woodpecker like a tramp3
Answer. Because he bores for his grub.
Boston Globe.
There IL lots ov pholks in this world
whose only importance konsists in their
being exklusive.--Billings.
It is the silent watches of the night
that render alarm clocks necessary.-Cin-
einnati Saturday Night.
Any man pays too much for his whistle
when he has to wet it fifteen or twenty
times day.-Saturday Night.
We are never more deceived than when
we mistake gravity for greatness, solem-
nifty for science, or pomposity for erudi-
ton.
There is a sort of constructive consola-
tion in thinking that a great many PEG
pie will freeze to death next winter
N. o. Picayune.
An audience cannot be too thankful
when it hears letter read from states
man instead of listening to an expected
speech.
Alexander the Great used to say that
he was moro indebted to Aristotle for
giving him knowledge than he was to
his father for life.
See how the little busy bee improves
each shining minute :how gayly lights he
on your nose and sticks his singer in it,
Fulton Times.
Envy is frequently the foundation of
false reports. There is jealousy which
renders the success of others a provoca-
ton Of melevolence.
The man who continually does wrong
under the impression that no one will
find it out is simply rubbing his nose
against his own grindstone.
Early to bed and early to rise makes a
man healthy, wealthy and wise; but early
to ryes and tardy to bed makes man 8
nose turn cardinal red.
The heart of many burned out mer-
chant has been hurt by thoughtless insur-
ance companies inquiring into tie cause
of q frc.-N. 0. Picayune.
There wOuldbeless willingness to 20 to
war if the shot of the enemy were distri-
buted like prize money-the largest part
to the higher ranks.
How sturdilY English was the declara-
ton of Goblet: II speak not only that
can be understood, but SO that cancot
be misunderstood"
Cider may be goodtemperance drink,
but I kan manage to git so drunk on it
that I kant tell one ov the 10 command
ments from bye-law or a base ball
klub.- Billings.
All the favorite old infidels aid hum
bugs are just now busy mapping out their
lecture route for next winter, while the
good man is wondering where his fuel is
to come from.
There Is no need of almanacs in this
country. One can tell the approach of
spring and fall by the number of men
who shake hands with him and pick out
luC lal UulCCo LuSy u0uACK u ILL.,
If the man who kills himself on &C.
count of disappointed love could only re-
turn to earth and loaf around until the
nearest daily went to press, he'd see where
he didn't miss making fool of himself.
Young man, perhaps yu had better be
a munky than philosopher; if yu play
the munky we'll, mankind will look upon
themselves az superior to yu, and toss yu
hats and quarters. but if yu play the
philosopher they will konsider yu
superior to them, and shun yu ackordinly.
Billings.
How funnyl If you see a merchant
studying up the sailing days Of foreign
steamers, you form high opinion of bis
business; but if a cashier does it you
draw your deposit from his bank i'll
stanter.--LoseeN Courier.
No man can 60 down into the dungeon
of his experience, and hold the torch of
truth to all the dark chambers aud hid
den cavities, and not come up with a
shudder and chill a. he thinks of the
time when he undertook to talk politics
with the deaf old father OF his frat sweet
heart while the girl was present.