The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-08-29
The Larripurs Undertake to Impress
the People. stF

A few evenings after the Larripurs
had got comfortably settled down in
their new quarters, the old man crawled
into some bran-new soft clothes of a
fawn-colored pattern, put on neck-tie
very nearly as blue as the man who
don't advertise, cooked over his right ear
the first silk hat he had ever stood up
under, and told the old lady he was now
ready to walk out with her and impress
the people. Mrs. Larripur herself was
arrayed in the long coveted kilt
suit, new shoes and lace mitts, to say
nothing of a hat as charming as Moham-
med's glimpse of paradise. She carried
fan as gay as a procession, and a para
sol with a handle as dazzling as hope,
though the sun had been out of sight for
an hour. After lighting stoga cigar,
Larripur posed before the glass until
he struck the exact attitude he wanted
to take along, adjusted his cigar at an
upward acute angle, drew on a pair of
gloves of an emphatic custard pie tint,
picked up a ten-cent walking-stick,
threw back his head, and set off at a
housekeeping gait, with the old lady
little more in his wake than alongside.
i reether think, Hammer, we'll pass
for regular big-bugs most anywheres,"
said Larripur, as man in passing
coal cart stopped his horses and turned
around to look after them.
Yes, it rally pears good deal that
way, Jerry. Don't you see what heaps
O. notice we git from everybody? An
then most all on 'em has TO look back
an take the second squint at us. swan
it makes me most as proud as I'd be if
I was standin' on one foot ridin' a spotted
hoss in circus. Raphe's money is
fetchin' its hundred cents on the dollar
this evenin', ole man, if it never did
afore."
YOU'RE mighty right it is, Hammer,
an / kin blame near feel the bricks
crack under my feet as l walk. Inever
knowed what it was to weigh a ton
afore, but suppose all the solid fellers
| has about that sort of feelin' all the
time. See that little shaver across
there. He's actlly tryin' to git into
my gait, an he don't make bad stag
ger, nuther. Even the children takes
notice of us. b'lieve I'll throw the lit
tie rat quarter" And Mr.. Larripur
smiled SO delightedly that he dropped
his cigar as he dived impulsively into
his pocket for the coin.
can only see them wimmen folks in
the winder yander, amin at us with a
spy-glass," exclaimed the glad female,
as she observed some ladies in an aristo-
cratic mansion pointing an opera glass
in her direction. "Pll bet there'n be
more'n one wet piller in that house to-
night; but it amt my fault, / reckon, if
there amt another sich hat as this to
be found in town. All birds mustn't
spect to have the same feathers, or you
couldn't tell goose from turkey-buz-
zard."
"Anybody could tell by your toggery,
| Hammer, that you was some pumpkins,
but it don't seem to me that you git jist
the right sort of strut for high-toned
4 advertisement. While we're out on the
tramp you ought to keep them blinkers
O your'n hared wide open all the time,
an watch how the b1ue-blooded 'uns
shoves their feet along and carries their
selves ginerally. We're all hunkidory
now on the spondulix question, but tt
make things balance right, we've got tt
have some style. Your weak pint
Hammer, is style. You want to tone W
on that air gait, so't you kin sail along
like nabob, an make people leave
warm grub to come to the winders to FL
their eyes with you. OF course We
can't help what's behind us. We've
been lower'n the off.scourin'so' creation
but we didn't have no money then, an
it wasalT right. Nobody spected nothin
from us. But now the morris in tn,
other box, an we've got a hod to carry
that has bricks in it-that is, I mean WI
must sift our sand to suit the job
plague take it all, you know what
mean. We're up TO the roof, an w
must let people know it, not only by ou
duds, but by our giaera git=up-and-git
don't say it is so, but there is righ
smart chance, Hammer, of you're bein
4 mistook for the cook of some qualit,
family, splurgin' around in the traps O
the missus while the ole gal is galivant
in away some'rs. I'd hate to have any
body think that. I'd sooner they't
pizen both of the dogs. You've got
head with good works in it, mother
though a little slow-goin' once il
awhile. You knowed how to make
livin' in our shady times, an there's n
reason why you shouldn't know how t
make people stand on their tip
toes with green eyes now, if you'll onl
hold your nose up and open your peep
ers. All you've got to do is to be on tn
watch for new p'ints an freeze right
'em when you git 'em in the sack. Mar
dy's for'ard gal, an she'll be lots
help to you, butyou mustn't leave ey
erything to her. Grind your own picl
axe-that is, mean you mustn't expee
to git up the ladder without boostin
Try to feel as though you'd never bee
!, hungry, an walk like you hadn't bee
, used to goin' barefooted. If you coul
: only manage to shorten up them steps
e couple O. feet, an not bend yourse
r over like you was carryin' home TIVE
r week $ wash, it would be the same s
e doublin' our pile every time we took
e sahsay through the streets. An don
let your mouth hang open that wa.
0 either-leastways not till kin git tn;
:: shaggy hole in your head 'livened up
: DlG Will SOue ucW lFoiy' Don "o.i
n as though you was goin' up stairs all tt
t time. You must git over that, or you
) never have a race-hoss named a
y ter you. Stop, carryin' pins in yo'
b mouth, an don't wobble your jay
e around that way so much. There's 10
:, to Parn, but you hain't got nothin' ell
v to do. an you might as well have tt
i fust lesson now as any time. Mopyo1
IS eyes-mop your eyes, quick! Don't f
), heavens sake go to cryin' here on Il
s street. High-toned people never ha
o wet eyes. There-there-that's go'
i ole gal. Here comes quite a crow
e Twist them wrinkles into smile a
If look like an evenin' rainbow to CHI
e with no umberel. Good! Hunk
e Chuck up your chin little higher a
r. show your breas'-pin. Take ket
J. thought Look outl Don't you S
r. them bananner skins? Too late! Doy
it you go, an jist like scrub-woman, t
l. AS awk'ard as COW on ice!
(. wouldn't a. been mortified that way
,r hull box O. Goldfish. You'll stay
1t home arter this till you parn to ke
l. your pins under you"
le A Miss FLAMME is said to he