davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08
Twenty Impolite Things.

l. Loud and boisterous laughing.
2. Reading when others are talking.
8. Talking when others are reading.
4. Cutting finger nails in company.
8. Joking others in company.
6. Gazing rudely at strangers.
7. Leaving stranger without seat.
8. Making yourself hero of your own
story.
9. Reading aloud in company without
being asked.
10. Splitting about the house, smoking
or chewing.
IL. Leaving church before worship is
closed.
IL. Whispering or laughing in the
house of God.
IS. A want of respect and reverence
for seniors.
IA. Correcting older persons than
yourself, especially parents.
Is. Receiving present without an
expression of gratitude.
16. Not listening to what one is say
ing in company.
IL. Commencing to eat as soon as you
get to the table.
IL. Answering questions that have
been put to others.
10. Commencing talking before Others
have finished speaking.
| 20. Laughing at mistakes of others.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08
Rosewood.

1t has puzzled many to decide why the
dark wood so highly valued for pianos,
and in these times so cleverly initiated.
should be called rosewood. Its color,
certainly, does not look like that of q
rose but when the tree is first cut, the
fresh wood possesses strong, rose-like
fragrance; hence the name. There are
half dozen or more kinds of rosewood
trees found in South America and in
the East Indies and neighboring islands.
Sometimes the trees grow so large that
planks four feet broad and ten feet in
length can be cut from them. These
broad planks are principally used to
make tops of piano-fortes. When grow
ing, the rosewood tree is remarkable for
its beauty; but such is its value in
manufactures as an ornamental wood,
that some of the forests where it once
grew abundantly, now have scarcely a
single specimen. In Madras the govern
ment has prudently had great pianta-
tions of this tree set out in order to
keen up the supply.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08
Battling with the Winds and Waves.

Some interesting particulars of the
recent disastrous voyage of the ship
Alnwick Castle are given by an English
contemporary. The Alnwick Castle is
fine, large ship Of one thousand and
one hundred tons, and to the strength of
her solid oak timbers must be ascribed
the fact that she did not founder in the
hurricane which she experienced. She
was bound from England to Point de
Gale, with cargo of coal. When she
had been out about one month thick,
black, misty rain came on, accompanied
by a fearful hurricane. For three hours
there was absolute darkness, and the
roar of the sea was perfectly appalling.
Between eleven and twelve o'clock sea
heavily to leeward, and while the men
were working at the pumps the main
mast leaped clean overheard.
Anything more wonderful the Cap
tain never saw, and how the men es-
capped without harm it is impossible to
understand. At the same time the
mizzenmast was carried away about
three feet above the poop deck, and the
ship was helpless log. The Captain,
who was on the poop, was crushed down
by the rigging which fell with the
mizzenmast, and man with less phys
ique would hardly have escaped with his
life. One of the seamen was washed
across the main deck with the spars that
were floating about, and as the seas
rolled off the spars fell on him, crushing
his chest and breaking the collar-bo
The mizzenmast, in falling overheard,
damaged the main pumps so that they
could not be worked. The crew became
panic-stricken, but the Captain, shat
tered as he was, went among them, and
persuaded them to work at the pumps,
and he was obeyed. The greatest dam
ger was now with the masts, which were
battering in the ships side, and had al
ready broken the port lights of the stern
cabin, letting in great volumes of water.
The bolts of the main chain plates
had also been torn out of the ships
side, leaving dangerous leaks.
At this critical time, Captain Yelland,
who had his wife on board, went and
gave her the information of their condi-
ton, which left no hope, and then re-
turned to his work. Two staunch men
undertook to go into the hold to see
what damage the masts and spars had
done to the sides, and they were success
full in plugging the chain bolt holes.
No other damage had been done. The
Captain endeavored to make the ship
steady by launching sea-anchor, by
attaching hawser to the fore-topmast,
which had come down, and for half an
hour the promise was held out that some
rest would be given the men, but then
the hawser parted, and the ship was
tossed about again.
The hurricane had passed over, how
ever, and on the next day the rigging
up of jury masts was commenced, and
the vessels head was put for Table Bay,
which port was eight hundred miles
away. Each day, however, brought
new dangers, as the sea was continually
washing over the main deck; and so
fearfully out of repair has the Alnwick
Castle become, through her wonderful
voyage, that she must remain in Table
Bay nearly two months
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08
FOREIGN SUMMARY.

CARDINAL FRANCHI died at Rome on the
1st Of August. He was born In 1919, and
nominated Cardinal in 1873.
THE Austrian troops crossed the frontier
into Bosnia Monday morning without en-
countering any difficulties. Arch Duke
John Salvador, of Tuscany, at the head of
brigade, has entered Derbend.
THE latest returns from the elections for
members of the German Reichstag show
elected AZ Conservatives, "a National Lib
erals, 10 Progressists, So Utram ontanes, 2
Alsatian Irreconcilables, Alsatian Auto
nomists, 8 Socialists, 8 Poles and l Particu-
larist. Thirty-six ballots are necessary.
THE great event of the year in London
took place on July 8, in reception given to
Earl Beaconsield by the Lord Mayor. A
procession was formed and moved to Guild
hall, where addresses were made by the City
Chamber Committee and Lords Beaconsfeld
and Salisbury.
NJ. FoURNIER has informed the Sultan
that refusal to grant territory to Greece
might cause complications to which France
could not remain Indifferent, and the Sultan
has promised to comply as far as possible
N6ROLldLlOub are sdlu To De IN progress
for the cession of Rhodes and Scio to
France.
A Havana letter says the many emigrants
| returning penniless to Cuba are claiming
protection of the government, and difficult
questions are rising between persons who
reclaim their former possessions and those
who have old credits against them, or arr
actual owners of the property. These ques
tions will have to be settled by tribunals
and will be an obstacle in the way of rapiC
reconstruction.
A SPECIAL to the Globe Democrat from
Alton, ILL.,, says: fThe dead bodies of
mulatto woman named Belle DeBeap, an,
her child, four years old, we found in
cabin in the woods, about thrt miles fror
the city, with the brains of both beaten ou
An old colored man, Tom Bates, the We
mans step-father, and a white man name
vii lam White, were arrested on suspicio
of being concerned in the murder, but 6
last accounts there seemed to be no diret
evidence that either person was guilty
the crime"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08
New Code Of Filtration.
IPuck.1

The systems of fan and handkerchief,
and even of hat Irritation, have been
fully explained to the public at large
but it is strange that the code most gem
orally in use, and better calculated than
any other to express with precision and
accuracy large variety of sentiments,
has never zen completely formulated
for the benefit of those who wish to be-
1t is with pleasure that Puck comes for
ward to present to his readers the fol-
lowing carefully-edited and entirely
trustworthy
= CODE.
!. pulling up the shirtsleeves and
slightly moistening the palms of the
hands" Step over here minute Iwish
to speak to you.
II. "Stepping up behind man, grasp
ing him by the scruff OF the neck, and
advancing rapidly" Please follow me.
III. Putting forefnger to right eye
and drawing down lower lid" Don't
you (or do you) wish you had itf
Nv. "Nonchalantly chucking brick,
or other light object, on top of a mans
tile" Who's your hatter2
V. Taking a mans nose between
your fore and second fingers, and
slightly changing the position of same. %
| address myself to you.
vi. abruptly altering the angle of a
mans coat-tails BY insinuating your boot
toe under them" Do not inger.
VII. Putting the point Of your ell
bow between any two of mans ribs
and jarring his internal economy" We
are observed.
VIII. Doubling up your fist and
placing it firmly upon the bridge of &
mans nose." 1 love you, but not de
votedly or passionately.
TX. "Grasping mans ear between
your upper and lower jaws, and gently
working the jaws" Ny heart is an
others.
x. Lifting another person up il
your arm, and walking in any speciiet
direction" Come with me.
XI. Rapidly removing the chair Of
which man is about to sit down.
We are not entirely sympathetic in ou
objects.
XII. "Taking a brief observation
across kind of impromptu sextan'
constructed of all the fingers of on
hand outspread, the thumb centerin
on the nose" Farewell, this parting
! forever.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

THIS is the reason st. Louis suffered
30 much from the heat during the late
warmth: The city is situated upon lime
rock, and densely built. The rock and
the bricks get heated and make the air
hot. Now, in dry air the perspirstion
from the skin will evaporate. But there
the air is continually moist, and there
fore does not carry off the surplus heat
which comes as perspiration from the
body. Besides, hot, damp air is very
unhealthy to breathe. Then, again, St.
Louis is situated where there is very
little wind to carry away this fatal
atmosphere.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

A BALTIMORE tramp mistook a gospel
tent for circus last Sunday. The Rev.
Mr.. Cummings was leading in prayer,
and all the brethren were on their knees,
when strange figure darted up the
aisle with yell, and, mounting the
pulpit, gave the Bible preparatory
whack, and proceeded to SO quare of, as if
to address the crowd. The effect was
electric. People sprang to their feet
and dozen hands were laid upon the
wild-looking intruder. His shoes and
pantaloons were in bad repair, his hair
was unkempt, and his beard unshaven,
and although he wore coat, there was
nothing between it and his skin. When
he was taken to q police station he was
asked who he was. "Pll tell you," he
exclaimed with energy: "Pm the
devil! Old Nickl 'Flibberty-gibbetl
Mephistophelesl Beelzebubl Bob In
gersoll Hoopla, yere ye are for the
lower regions, get alang" and as he
said this he cracked an imaginary whip
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08
He Wanted an Explanation.

He came into the Sentinel Office the
other day and looked around somewhat
indifcrently. while it was evident that
he had something on his mind. We
waited for him to unbosom himself and
finally gave him an inquiring glance.
Pulling well-worn copy of the Sentinel
out of his pocket, and pointing his fin
ger along the column Of Brevities,"
he asked:
/" What does this here mean-these let
ters, o, Y, B, w, IP'
"Tbat's little dialogue between the
Rome Sentinel and the Rochester Erpress.
Don't you understand it3''
"No."
"You have heard people say OF be-
fore now, haven't your
"Say or"
eyes; when they had become sud-
denly surprised, for instance"
90, yes"
"Well, the Sentinel said o, and the
Erpress asked Y? The answer was B!-
bee. Doyou see?
"No; b double e-let me see; don't
get that quite yet"
Well if man were stung by bee it
would not seem strange if he exclaimed
"! WOulO IL
"No, don't knows 'twould. That's
it. see now. Then, what does the W
stand for?''
"Why, don't you see the interrogation
point after it? The Express asks, did it
| double you? And the answer is, L.;
Did it double you up to have the
bee sting you-that's it eh? Who rep
resents I?'
Il stands for aye, and means yes. Dc
you see?'
Yes-O, Y, B, W, l."
By this time several interested listen
ers had gathered around the desk. The
inquirer folded up his paper, put it il
his hip pocket and went out the dool
with the remark:
"Well, by Jove, some folks will con
jure their brains awfully to get of
something smart"
For five minutes thereafter it woull
have been difficult to determine whethe
a swarm of bees had come in to enter
tain our friends, or whether theatrica
rehearsal was going on. The floor arount
the desk was strewn with strugglin,
humanity, some bowed low with cramps
the reception chair was upset, the inl
bottle was tipped over on correspon
dence from Lee, and the air was fillet
with hideous bowling. Hereafter whel
we explain joke or series Of enigmat
ical puns to an inquirer we shall kno,
enough to take him into the back roor
J alone and fasten the door.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

AT Atlanta, Georgia, Judge has de-
cided that it is legitimate for BARRIERS to
ply their trade on Sunday. People, he
said, might go to church black and soiled
with dust, and might live 80 all their
lives, but he thought that delicacy
of appearance in public was required
necessity, and that the use OF BARRIERS
shop might in some instances be as es-
sential as that of drug store, inasmuch
as health and its requirements often de-
pend on cleanliness OF person.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

THE good wife should resemble three
things, which three things she should
not be like. First, she should be like a
snail, always in her own house; but she
should not be like a snail, to carry
everything she has upon her back. Sec
ond, she should resemble an echo, to
speak when spoken to; but she should
not be like an echo, always to have the
last word. Third, she should resemble a
town clock in keeping good time and
regularity, but she should not be like a
town clock, to speak SO loud that all the
town may hear.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

A MEMBER of the French Institute
has given this test for distinguishing
colorless gems from diamonds: If a
person locks through transparent stone
at any small object, such as the point of
n needle or little hole in a card, and
secs two small points or two small holes,
the stone is not diamond. All white,
colorless gems, with the exception of a
diamond, he held, made the object ex-
amined appear double. In other words,
double refraction, whenever exhibited
by a stone, is proof conclusive that it is
not diamond.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

"IHAvE calculated" said an emf.
nent arithmeticman, "that the average
man speaks three hours a day, at the
average speed of one hundred words
minute, say twenty-nine octave pages an
hour, or six hundred a week; conse-
quently, in the course of year the
average man talks fifty-two large vol
umes." "Sir," said one of the audi
ence, man of scant respect for the sex
to which he owed his mother, "does
your calculation apply also to women ?"
"It does, sir" coldly replied the emil
nent arithmeticman; "all you have to
do is this" and he puts an 0 after the 81.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

THE microphone of itself cannot, of
course, produce sound but what world
of sounds there is at present undistin-
guisbabie by the human ear, which it
makes manifesto The impinging of a
ray of light on any body, the growth of
a tree, the rise of the sap in a plant, the
fight and breathing of minute insects,
the flow of the blood in the veins, the
passage Of the air in the lungs, the
combination of chemicals-all of these
may be rendered distinctly audible to
the human ear.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

TIE young men of this country will
be pleased to know that an Ohio barber
has invented machine by which he can
SINCE off the human hair one thirteen
one-hundredths of an inch closer to the
skull than it is now possible to bring it
with the clipping machine. Any young
man who viii go out into society with
great atstragglinglocks nearly three-eighths
of an inch long strockling down his hack
ought to be ashamed of himself Hack
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

jews Of past centuries have always
been depicted as bearded, and it was
only toward the last century that any of
them shaved. An ancient law forbade
the use Of any metal instrument in re-
moving the beard, and any one desiring
smooth face was required to rasp the
hair with pumice stone. The process
being anything but agreeable, of course
few or none adopted it.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

ALBANY has policeman named Ap-
pie. We take it he is a seedy fellow.
-Amsterdam Democrat. If heisa "seek-
no-further" he is not the man for the
place.-Fort Plain Register. If he is a
northern spy" he must be a good
detective.-Rome Sentinel. If he re.
sembles most policemen in a street fight
he's no slider.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

Ex-BmHoP McCosKREY and wife
sailed for Europe on the steamship
Oder. His ex-eminence looked very sad
as he sat in the deck cabin, conversing
occasionally with few friends who had
come TO bid him adieu. He said that he
was going to see his daughter, and did
not know how long he would be absent
or where he would travel.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

A PAIR of Siberian hares has arrived
at the Jardin d'Acclimatation In Paris.
The peculiarity of these animals ID, that
they are gray in summer and white In
winter. The French naturalists want
to ascertain what effect the temperate
climate of France will have on this
change of color.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

How doth the busy farmer now i'm
prove each shining hour G-Mdyviae Sen
tinel. By sprinkling bugs with Paris
green and drinking cider sour.-Brad-
ford Bseese. Or harvesting the golden
wheat and grinding it to flour.-Ronae
Sentinel
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08
TOPICS OF THE DAY

THE Clan-na-Gael Association of Ct.
Louis have appointed Committee to
raise fund for the defense of those
charged with the assassination of Lord
Leitrim, in Ireland, and have called a
mass-meeting for Monday evening, to
express sympathy for the prisoners.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

JUDGE DAVIS, who is something like
eighty inches around the waist, gener-
ally gives his tailor three months notice
when about to order new pair of
breeches, and by this means prevents a
famine in the cloth market.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

WHEN an English paper captures an
American joke it chops off the head,
chisels out the point, sets it up back
ward, and gives its readers a dish of
wisdom that tastes like fresh meat after
long sea voyage.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08
WHILE Strobel and his wife W

WHILE StrObel and his wife were out
walking the other evening somebody
got into the house and carried off every
stitch of his clothing, including shirts.
at was mighty lucky" said Strobel,
absently; to his wife, as the full extent
of the los came upon them, " that l
happened to have these on-now, wasn't
itP'
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

WHAT an elysium it would be for
some men to live in an atmosphere of
gin. A healthy pair of lungs can de-
YOUR three hundred and seventy-five
hogsheads of air per hour.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

THE account of how titled Russian
lady has discovered to her cost the PEN
alties Of expressing in too emphatic
manner her disapproval of her governess's
behavior, will, if true, convey a curious
idea Of some social customs in that
country. The Princess Manweloff had a
habit of striking her governess, lady
of noble birth, and the latter complained
of her to the local justice. In this in
stance, the law was respecter of per-
sons, and the Princess was ordered
three days detention in her own house.
The governess was dissatisfied and ap-
pealed TO a higher court, which SEN
tenced the defendant to an inprison-
ment Of three months in the common
iail.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

PRESIDENT HAYES is making the
question of Chinese immigration study,
and at the reassembling of Congress will
give his views on the subject in mes.
sage.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

IF any thing could possibly make us
doubt the story of Ananias, it is the
fact that there were no cases of sun
stroke before the investigation COM
mittee.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

A NUMBER of bishops of the Venetian
and the north of Italy provinces have
drawn up "a petition which they have
sent to Leo XIII, asking that a canoni-
cal process may be introduced for the
examination of the virtues and merits
of Plus TX, of holy memory, with a
view to his beatifcation and canoniza-
tion.-Philadelphia Press.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

sAN ANTONIO, TEXAS, has been the
scene Of a tragedy, resulting from a girl
having two lovers. Her choice was
Joe Madrid. The other suitor, Jesus
Zepeda, was wealthy and had her par
ents' favor. She was kept prisoner in
q small, dark room for a month, to bring
her to the desired frame of mind. Then
the two men were brought before
her, and she was told to choose again.
Zepeda displayed two revolvers, and
said that, il she did not accept him,
Madrid must fight duel. Now, her
love for Madrid was strong as ever, but
she did not wish to have his life en-
dangered, and therefore said that she
would marry Zepeda. The marriage
ceremony was performed at once. Or
the following day, unable to bear thu
lot that she had chosen, she shot herself
Then her relentipg husband said IL sh'
should recover he would give her up h
Madrid.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

EVEN butter is not strong enough to
stand the melting weather.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

IT can't be charged that Eve ever
wore kilt skirt.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08

IT is the greatest courage to be able to
bear the imputation of want Of courage.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1878-06-19

in his designs, and so he quietly aban-
doned his notion and did the bidding
of Hayes aud his advisers. However
there was more chance of success in
Grants warlike programme than there
turns out to have been in the Hayes
scheme of intrigue and diplomacy
These things are of interest just a,
this time, affording as they do new
verification of the ancient proverb
that a mans hindsights are always
better than his foresights.
In my dispatches last night was g
brief but comprehensive outline of the
schedule of proceedings determined or
by the investigators. I suppose il
will be three weaks or month before
that part of the inquiry relating tt
the recent Returning Board trials il
Louisiana will be reached. But wher
it is reached you can look out for some
reading that will be decidedly piquant
A. c. B.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1878-06-19

The following letter is selected
from hundreds on Gle In the Office Of
Messrs. Ferslew & Co., Proprietors
of "JuRa1ELEw1cz's Anti RHEUMATIC
MIXTURE" P. 0. Box 1406, New
Orleans:
Mr.. G.. G.. Williams, jackson,
Mississippi, says: II have tried
your "Anti. Rheumatic Mixture.
and I want you to send me another
bottle. Before / took it / could not
walk, and now ] can run like q
horse"