River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-06-20
mr.. Lockwood's Grievance.

During the last trip took over the
Pacific Railroad. noticed that after we
left Omaha that the man in the seat in
front OF me appeared to have something
upon his mind. He would scowi dread
fully for few moments, then he would
gaze with far away look out of the win
dow; then he would draw hughe bowie
knife from his coat-pocket, and after
strapping it upon his boot, he would run
his thumb along the edge. After scowl-
ing a few moments, more, he would take
out revolver, examine the chambers to
assure himself that they were loaded, NUT
ter few vigorous sentences, and put 1t
away again.
watched him for day or two; and
at last he saw me looking at him. He
said:
81 reckon YOU think am excited about
something's Well I am ] am going out to
Salt Lake to kill man."
SIN Iced How terrible! What's the
matter2n
swell, you see--by the way, do you
know Jim Stebbins?"
"N-n-nol think not
"Well, this is the way it came about:
Twelve years ago Jim and were friends
and when got married jim mad me a
present of the most splendid silver cake
basket you ever saw in your life"
That's not what you're going to Kill
him for is it?'
"Of course not And felt so grateful
that took him by the hand, and said !:
Jim I'll give you cake basket as hand
some as that whenever you're married, as
sure as my names Jonathan Lockwood
Made him solemn pledge, you know"
%Did he marry subsequently,"
"Marrv2 o thunderi Let me tell you:
About year after he went to Utah and
became Mormon. Within month he
sent me cards for his wedding with Han
nah Watson. So went out, bought a
sublime cake basket, and forwarded it by
express, Two weeks later he wrote to
me to say that Hannah's sister, Ethelber-
ia, had been sealed to HIM, and he asked
me out to the wedding"
''Did you goa"
mo; but I sent him another majestic
basket But hardly had a fortnight
elapsed before Stevens telegraphed to me
that as old Mrs. Watson, Hannah's and
Ethelberta's mother, seemed so lonely.
now the girls were gone, he had conclud-
ed to annex, her also. He promised to
send full particulars by mail. That night
a third respondent basket went
West in charge OF the express company"
'You have paid him three to one, thenl"
'Three2 Wait I'LL I get through. Well,
| heard nothing more from him for year
or two, when on day cards came for his
marriage with Louisa G. Carboy. was
pretty poor about that time. and hardly
able to make presents.to anybody, but |
had pledged my word, and so out went
another imposing cake-basket."
"Did he get it,"
"He wrote and said his darling Louisa
thought it was beautiful; and he added
postscript. in which be mentioned that he
had arranged for efecting further con-
solidation on the following Thursday with
Helen Montgomery Bilkersham, relic OF
old Bilkersham, the popular halter"
did you respondi"
81 did. l borrowed some money Of
friend and promptly forwarded the most
stupendous cake-basket could buy.
But at the same time wrote to him and
asked him If he didn't think it was almost
time to knock off. He replied and said he
was sorry had such narrow views of
matrimony, particularly as he had every
thing ready for another marriage on the
following Tuesday with Mary Jane Will
berforce, charming girl with property
''You didn't send one to her, did you2"
"Of course couldn't break my word !
She got the most impressive cake-basket
/ could lay my hands on. Well, Stevens
didn't stop there. That was two years ago.
He has married eight times since, and
have come to time promptly with the
cake baskets. Well, sir. three days ago [
received notice that he was going to mar
ry again"
"Again2"
Eyes, again That, you know, lets him
out! What does the man means Does he
suppose I own a cake-basket factory,
where they turn EN- out with crank
Does he suppose that have mine where
we excavate cakeibaskets by the bushel!
Has he cot an idea that cake baskets grow
on . tree, and all I've got TO so is to
knock 'em down with pole when they are
ripe? Why, he's an unmitigated ass Ana
as he won't let me off from my promise,
I'm going out to massacre him. You I'M
derstandl In less than three days there u
| be a dozen or so widows in Salt Lake GO
| ing to see man named Stevens buried y
Then Mr.. Lockwood turned gloomily
away, sharpened his knife again on his
boot and relapsed into silence.
1t aoas little hard on him, think