West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-06-22
WAITS AND WuIMS.
A BAwL room-Tho nursery.

"TnE warm season Pepper.
CORN Exchange making il into
whisky.
BRINGING matter to light -
Throwing il into the stove.
GAN echo bottled" is the latest de-
scription of the phonograph.
PREPARATIONS for the celebration of
the Fourth of July are in order.
FIVE thousand different species of
birds are known TO ornithologists.
BLENHEIM dogs, beautiful variety
of spaniels, sell Mt fabulous prices.
THERE are seventeen prosperous insti-
tuition for the blind in this country.
HoPs were invented at the same time
the first stumped toe was discovered.
THE great hot-house of the future
will maze speciality of flowers of brim-
stone.
THE introduction Of bells into Chris
tian churches occurred in the year
400 A. -.
TnE supreme court decides that n man
who gets drunk three times year il
drunkard.
WHETHER old age is to be respected
depends whether it applies to men and
women or poultry.
CLOTHING dealers gladly pull down
their vests for the accommodation of in
quiring customers.
EVE never expressed the slightest de-
sire To vote. Mr.. Stanton never thinks
of that fact without tears.
A MAN in Pensacola, Fla, has an
orange tree thirty.four years old, which
has bIoomed the present season for the
first time.
a SAN FRANCISCO clergyman adver-
tised sermon entitled The Boss
Devil of America" meaning intemper-
anCc.
CAPTAIN SYLvANUs BAKER, of Oar.
mouth, Mass ninety-thrce years of age,
is now cutting his third set of teeth, five
of which have already made their APP
pearance.
THE Luxemburgers have cat races.
Cats are taken in bags 10 point two
miles from the city. They are then let
out of the bags and the first reaching the
city is the winner.
PEOPLE snore because they lie with
their heads thrown back, and there is con-
sequently dropping of the lower jaw.
To break the habit, sleep with the mouth
closed and the chin low.
PLEASE take notice that you never
read of breach Of promise suit in which
the mother doesn't seem TO know much
more about the case than thegirl. Key
holes were not made in vain.
THAT awfully wicked man. Judge
Hilton, would not let any little children
come into the Stewart hotel for women.
He was afraid they would tear of the
plastering and jab the furniture.
In Germany fish are not caught for
sport, and the law fixes the size OF those
that need not be returned 10 the water.
Thus, salmon must be sixteen inches
long, perch Rve, and an eel fourteen.
IN THE CIRCUS.
" Here rests his head upon the lap Of earth"
The brave young man that rode he hrindle mule,
He learned, when meek hsinas burst the girth
Too late, the lesson Of Dfe's hmshest school.
Broad culture, 'olld judgment. breadth Of brain,
Thought that has drank AZ the Pierian spring;
Grand depth and height Of culture he must gain
" Who safely rides the trick mule round the ring.
o. HdWkeVe
PoMP, spIendor, parade and tinsel lure
the idle and enthuse the rabble, but
music and banners have lost their charm
10 him who marches behind pigeon
toed man in a procession BTedk(0st
Table.
NEWLY married gentleman of Mrs.
Js5 acquaintance, on being asked the
other day what was the difference be
tween bride and bridegroom, immedi-
ately replied, Why, one is given away
and the other is sold"
THE Japan Herdh says the Japanese
are manufacturing boots for sale in the
United States from leather imported
into japan from this country. The
trade is Of recent origin, but has already
attained considerable proportions.
IT is rather early in the season for
snake stories, but Tecumseh, Mich,
comes 10 the front with good one. The
enormous snake there eats calves, is
forty feet long, has tongue n foot long,
head ten inches broad, body as big as
ba-e-burniDg coal stove.
HARD case who had been discharged
by one Of our city firms for drunken
ness and general wOrthlessness had the
cheek 10 q call upon the managing part
ner the other day and ask for recon-
mendation TO aid him in getting another
situation. He got it, thus" This man
worked fr us two months. He was born
in Ohio" He left for Washington on
the first train Breokfast Table.