davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-12-15
Miscellaneous Items.

A mans food is bol.ed when his wife
locks the cupboard door against him.
She never told her love-but that black
bottle in the cupboard spoke volumes
N. Y. Express.
A man was Boosting that he had an
elevator in his house $50 he has,
chimed in his wife, land keeps it in the
cupboard in a bottle.'
A Grand Rapids man was holding a
woman on his knee when his wife entered
his Office, and now he hasn't got any home
to go to when the lodge is out.
A tramp who received blow from an
Amazonian widow, declared that, until
then, he had never realized the full
significance of the widows smite.
GLOW even that lawn looks, my dear,
said she to her husband as they were TAX
ing suburban stroll. Event" he ex-
claimed, 81 am disposed to think it's
sod"
Madam" said a certain one to Mrs.
Brown, the other day "you arc talking
simply rubbish" "Yes, sir" replied the
ever-crushing lady, "because I wish you
to comprehend me-"
Parson (sternly): "How could you
come to church to be married to man
in such state as that2" Bride (weep-
ing) 1T was not my fault, sir. I never
can get him to come when he's sober2"
A fashionably dressed woman entered
adrug store the other day, and informed
the clerk that her husband had over
| loaded hio CTR ~. =
to get an epidemic to relieve him.
Meeting commercial traveller who
was pretty full of old Robinson county,
Grubbins remarked to his wife, Tight
as drum, amt he2" Worse than that
she replied, he's tight as drummer"
The latest sentimental agony in song
is tender ballad beginning:
"Who will come above me signing,
When the grass grows over me?"
We cannot say positive. who; but if
the cemetery fence is in its usual repair,
it will probably be the COW.
A student in geography having an
swered that the world was round, was
asked by the professor if he could give
some proof. He said he thought nothing
else but the curvature of the earth could
account for people so commonly ana per-
sistently running down their shoes at the
heel.
1t was on the train, and he was trying
to read. There was crowd in the cars,
and among others lady with a very
sprightly little girl that had blue eyes,
head of glistening gold, and an inquis-
tive tongue. She piled him with ques-
tons and toyed with his watch chain.
Tho mother, who was widow, fairly
beamed upon him. He, nervously, to the
mother: "What do call your little darl-
lng2' Widow (smiling): "Ethel." He:
"Call her then" Indignation. Reading
resumed.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-12-15

rich by buying sixteen ounces to the
pound and selling twelve ounces to the
pound. 1t is a poor rule that wont work
both weighs they think.
We know that the brute sees the sunset
but does it feel its pensiveness? -Josepz
Cook. 1t does not, if in the habit of hav.
ing its hay about that time--Detroi
Free Press.
By the use of the microphone you car
hear the rope walk or the butter fly
BostoJ Globe. Or the gum drop.--Fyel
Press. Or the fall or the year. Richmond
(Va.) Baton.s
Some sensible chap says, truly, that a
person who undertakes to raise himself
by scandalizing others might just as well
sit down on a wheelbarrow and under
take to wheel himself
The spirits of the departed must be on
a strike. For several months not a
Characterization" has been reported
from among the prominent Spiritualists.
What's to pay?-Chicago Journal.
An attorney having died in poor cir
cumstances, one Of his friends observed
luaL liz tldu lCiI UuL lew 6ueCCS. llaL
is not much to be wondered at" said
another, "for be had but few causes"
A New York politician-perhaps Ben
Wood--has his life insured for 100000.
How much good this money would do
poor widows in the way OF buying flour
and fuel, and how little good it does any
one now!
Narrow minded men who have not a
thought beyond the little sphere of their
own vision recall the Hindoo saying,
"The snail sees nothing but its own shell,
and thinks it the grandest in the uni
verse;
He had broken his promise to marry
the girl, and her father waited money
consideration to help heal a wounded
heart. The young man SAID he would
consider reasonable proposition. swell,
them, said the irate father, who was
seeking justice for his daughter, young
man, how does dollar and half strike
you?"
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-12-15
A French Paradise.

Moncure d. Conway in Cincinnati Commercial.
Itrequlres little more than twenty
four hours from London to reach Tours,
and yet the differences of all kinds
moral, mental, climatic-are vast enough
to make one feel as if he had gone
thousand miles southwark. The place
where | have the happiness to be guest
is about mile out of the city, and it al
most realizes ones dream of Eden. The
beautiful chateau, fronted with terraces
ornamented with carved stone ratings
and urns filled with flowers, looks out up-
on a garden of several acres whereof every
square foot has made its contribution to
the general glory of summer. The trees
are so laden with fruit pears, apricots,
purple and golden plnms--that their
branches must needs be buttressed
Grapevines festoon every wall as ivy does
in England, and the cluster of various
shades in tint are suspended like tassels
in lovely tapestry; one feels almost
oriental enough to have to compare an
occasional cluster to the Pleiades. The
gold and silver fishes glitter IN their
| fioWer-irlnged marble basin where the
fountain plays. Nearly every tree of
which one ever heard is growing ia
this garden, and their interlacing branch
es frame an endless arch over every
pathway. The trees, flowers, ard fruits
which might be harmed during the win
ter-which it is said visits even Tours
yet flourish gloriously in huge boxes, and
Mignon might have found here the land
where the citron grows. Beneath my
window are the swelling oranges and
lemons, and no end of figs and aloes; and
ii is but for little time in the year that
these need be transferred to the conser-
vatory. A hundred yards in front of the
garden flows the Loire, whose beauty is
congenial with the scene. Amid banks
covered with grapevines as far as the eye
can reach, the crystal river runs over a
bed of sand no trace of slime or mud in
all its neighborhood- on its side we
pitch our bathing tent each morning, and
enjoy its sparkling food beneath over
hanging willows. Yet the sum my friend
pays per annum for his paradise-house
elegantly furnished, large enough for his
numerous family, stables, out houses,
orchards and all, even including wine
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-12-15
A Dissipated Dog.
San Francisco Chronicle

San Francisco Chronicle
In spite of a John B. Cough and a
score ofother eloquent temperance orators,
and in spite of the price of drinks, dog
has so far forgotten his Unborn dignity
and pride of birth as to become intoxicat-
ed. Things of this kind ought, accord
ing to the fitness of things, to have their
origin in the East, and gradually, if at
all, make their way west. But this con-
sclenceless canine is here, and must be
accepted as an established fact. When
he was pup two months old, his owner,
a Fourth street saloon keeper, took him
to his saloon. The little fellow imn4edi-
ately developed passionate fondness for
beer, running to the tin in which was con-
tanned the dripplngs from the beer barrel,
and tapping up the liquid at an astonish-
ing rate. Tie first debaucn had appar-
emily very injurious effect upon him,
and he fell into stupor from which his
master feared he would never awaken
He recovered the next morning, however,
and, Immediately upun awakening, pre-
sumably with headache,lapp VI new
supply Of beer. The saloon keeper, be-
ing man of philosophical and inquiring
mind, rendered the pup little whisky
by way of experiment. The liquid was
swallowed with even keener relish than
the beer had been. A series Of expert
ments soon convinced the owner Of this
dissipated dog that he had liking for
every intoxicating beverage in his satoon,
from absinthe to porter. and so far from
being dwarfed or injured by their use, he
grew larger and stronger every day. On
the morning after spree the dog (named
Whisky straight'O appears morose and
sullen until he has a round or two OF
whisky, when he cheers up wonderfully
and frisks around in the liveliest manner
imaginable. Additional potations, how
ever, change his mood he becomes cross
and quarrelsome, and finally fails into a
condition Of drunken stupidity.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-12-15
Extracts from Shifts History Of Eng
land.

London Figaro.
Edward I. brought the stone corona
ton chair Of the Scottish Kings from
Seone. 1t was in reference to this chair
that the poet wrote something about
uneasy rests the seat that wears a
crown
Charles l. was martyr Of the most
noble description. He was brave, hand
some and kingly man. He was also a
heinous criminal, and sinister, coward
ly, arbitrary tyrant.
Charles II. was chased all over En-
gland, Scotland, and the mountainous
parts of Cambria, now called Wales.
This was before he came to the throne.
After he became king he was not chaste
at all.
Queen Anne had no issue except an
unfortunate one IN her leg, which carried
her off August list, liza.
George III. can hardly be said to have
reigned, he merely drizzled
George ~. was a perfect wreck, he
paid nothing but visits. We are wrong,
he paid the debt of nature June 26th
1880.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-12-15

1t matters somewhat whether Young
lady's uncle is a millionaire or a mission
airy if her lovers constacy is in question.
A German officer who was suffering from
wounds received during the war with
France, was recently sent to village in
the Swiss Canton of Vaud to recruit his
strength. There, he'made the acquaintance
OF a young lady whose parents reside in the
same village and the couple became en-
gagged. Owing to the mildness of the eli
mate the hero soon regained lis health,
and before long an order arrived from
headquarters desiring him to report him
self within a week at Berlin At first his
letters were filled with protestations of the
enduring nature OF his love, but gradual
ly as time wore on, they became less fire.
quent and much colder in tone. Six
weeks had elapsed since be had last writ
ten, when instead of a letter full of re-
proaches, the Lieutenant received tele-
gram from his dear Marie, in the following
words: "Dear Fritz: I have just received
letter informing me that my uncle, who
was millionaire at Frankbar in the East
Indies, is dead, and that I am his sole
helress.' The Lieutenant lost no time.
He set out for the village. The young
lady was overwhelmed with JOY on seeing
her lover once more, but reproached him
for his long silence. Don't let US talk of
it, dear Marie, he replied: s'there is now
no Obstacle to our uoion. The unexpe Ct
ed good fortune which Providence has
sent US has removed the objections of INV
parents to our marriage, for a fortune so
great, so colossal" At these words.
Marie took his hand, said: Fritz, do nol
make fun Of me-" The lover drew out of
his pocket the telegram, asking her
whether she had not written the words,
MY uncle has just died a millionaire at
Frankbar" Utterly astonished, Marie
dropped his hand, and her eyes filling
with tears, exclaimed, '.Dear Fritz, there
is mistake in the telegram. What wrote
was: MY uncle has just died-a n,ission-
are in the East Indies, and the amount
ne has left me is 1876 francs As centimes.' :"
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-12-15
THE FARM AND HOUSE.

Best quality of Baldwin apples are
worth only 81 per barrel, in Maine-and
this includes apples and barrel. Germ is
8 cents bushel at Vlrden, Ill, and hay
$6 and 81 ton at Dubuque, Iowa.
Many mechanics have had their pa
tience sorely tried when pouring lead
around a wet or damp joint, to find it ex-
plode, blow out or scatter from the effects
of steam generated Dy the heat of the
lead. The whole trouble may be stopped
by putting piece of resin the size of a
mans thumb into the ladle and allowing
it to melt before pouring.
Great attention is now being paid BY
the Argentine Republic, South America
to the cultivation of wheat along the river
Plata. There Is every reason to believe
that in few years that region will be one
OF the most extensive grain producing To-
calities in the world. Many Italian,
French, Russian and other settlers are now
breaking fresh ground there.
There are many farmers who have ex-
ira good butter COWS and do not know it.
They have poor pastures in summer, and
no shelter and Indifferent feed in winter.
In the house they have no convenlences
for making butter, the milk is set where
there are no arrangements for keeping it
cool in summer, and in the living room,
exposed to the odors of the kitchen in
winter; and neither the quantity nor the
quality are any index of what COW can
do.-Erchange.
From sunfiower seeds is expressed a
palatable, clear and favorless oil, the
demand for which in Russia is very great.
IL is exported from St. Petersburg at
about S52 per gross ton, and is said to be
extensively used, like cotton-seed oil,
after purifying, for adulterating olive or
salad oil. A considerable quantity is
grown in Russia for oil pressing; the
plant being largely cultivated in Keels
and Podalia, also eastward on the black
sail lands, the stalks being used for fuel.
When we see moving machine Gas we
did several on our way to recent agri-
cultural meeting) left in the fields, I'M
der tree. or some equally exposed stu
alton, we wonder if the laws of economy
are changing, or if the cry of hard times
is not vain delusion; ii would seem as
though the man who will so leave an i'm
portant farm implement exposed to the
sudden and variable changes of the at
mosphere. the effect of which is to hasten
its destruction with great rapidity, has
no right to lift up the cry of hard times.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-12-15

press-is just $500. Fair still vine
(white) costs about eight cents the quart in
any considerable quantity; the finest red
costs II cents the quart. Champagne
ranges from 80 cents the Quart bottle
and 42115 cents to 60 cents-the highest
price. The villas are connected with the
city by omnibuses and tramway. The
city has superb opera-house, one Of the
finest In France; magnificent library,
and perfect market.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-12-15

Breton lace is fast suspending torchon
as trimming for almost every article of
lady's wardrobe.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-12-15

For God has marked each sorrowing day,
And numbered every secret tear;
And Heavens long age of bliss shall pay
For all his children suffer here,
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-12-15

There is a day of sunny rest
For every dark and troubled night;
And grief may bide an evening guest,
But JOY shall come with morning light.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1878-03-20

The lGasiland Review, As copied from
tho Fort Worth Democrat, charges
Governor ThrOCkmOrtOn with having
determined tho location Of the western
branch Of the federal court NJ Graham,
because of hia large land intereat there
We have taken tho palms 10 inquire
into the matter n n, Graham says
Governor ThrOOkmOrl0n has not u
dollar Of interest In Graham, nor, ~
deed, owns an acre Ol land Ia the
county, M that formerly owned by him
NJ Belknap no sold several years ago,
before the reorganization Of the county
80, the story IL u Ganard, u something
ideal tO.ewell the pretenalOns OF East
land CITY, al the expense, IN lhcti or
InyldiOusly, OF Governor ThrOGkmors
ton, one only Of NIL the Texas delega-
ton at Washington who united on
what was dsemed proper locations on
no peraonal or selfish Interest, but from
deliberate conclusion OF what would
be tho best interest Of the district and
Of the state, nor for the favor Of Ora
ham or any other place, Manifsily,
envy, envy In nj the bottom Of the
derOgatOry statement, when truth or n
leaning 10 II would have kept such
u wantOn and outrageous statement
clear ~ the columns OF that paper
which now should promptly accord 10
the governor u statement contrary 10
such aapersive thought and declnra'
tl0n, and such also that may have
copied IT, Grdhdm LGddor.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1878-03-20
TN, Singing Sensation

In the gullot called "heartburn," (why, II IN
impOhHlblo 10 conceive, since the heart las
nothing 10 do with ~ " caused by the
acetOu6 fermentation IN the stomach OF the
food contained In II; by an ovurpluH Of the
gastric Juice, which IN itself a powerful acid
or by th0 unnalnrally AOrid quality " that
secretion Tho ordinary way Of treating
this symptom, for II IN nothing elise, IN 10 ad-
minister bi-oArbOnatG ~ soda, nm hlkali, 10
noulrRllze tho acid. Hut sour stomach can
not bo cured by alknlls, Will h nd 10
weaken the digestive apparatus, A far bet
ter remedy IN llOsiettcr's stomach Blttera,
which strengthens tho cellular membrane,
the scat OF the difficulty, regulates the ilow
OF the gastric aoor iion, improves the quality
n vitlntod, and puts the stomach into good
wording order Perfect digestion iOlowA as
n natural sequence, aud lhoro IN no more
trouble from heartburn or sour stomach,
Tho liver and howe v Rre also thoroughly
regulated by ihlRsOvoroign Alternative.
ulmChgBdNW
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1878-03-20
THE COURTS,

Houston County j. h. Starks
was murdered last week at his house,
near Crockett, by unknown parties. -
William Graham, one of the parties en-,
gagged in thesmurder of W. II. Page
near Augusta in 1878, has been brought
in and lodged in Jail by Messrs f. IL.
Bayne and Joe Long. Graham was
captured on the line of Nacogdoches
and San Augustine counties.
Navarro County Local
option was carried at the VAUDEVILLE
precinct on last Saturday, by vote of
one hundred and thirty,fve tor, and
tiity.iive against the law. Members
of General John B. Hoods Texas
brigade who reside in Navarro county,
will call meeting at the operahouse in
Corsicana, at one o'clock p. M, Saturday,
March %, 1878, to.torm an organization
and to make arrangements tor a re-
union IN July next.
TdrUN County. - Democrat Fort
Worth has mad dogs Load after
load of buffalo hides are daily arriving
from the frontier, - The travel is exs
ceedingly small on the road at present
and the hotels are complaining of mea,
gre patronage. I'VE learn that Mr..
Fish, proprietor of the grocery store at
Clear Fork station, ten miles south of
the city, on the Granbury road, has
forwarded bend to Washington heads
quarters making application for the of,
hce of postmaster at that point.
Parker County Times : Several stock
men passed through here early in the
week for the cattle raisers, convention
in Graham. "A man giving the name
of West Brooks, was arrested by Sheriff
Lindsey, on Monday last, and placed in
the county Jail, on an indictment in
Clay county, for horse Stealing
About five o'clock on Friday morning,
the Sth instant, the residence of John
w Jones, sixteen miles southeast of
Weatherford, on the Clear Fork, was
burned, with all its contents.
Eastldnd Coanty.-Reyiew There ia
unquestionably a good opening in East>
land for grist and Touring mill
The people even in the frontier
counties have begun to take an interest
in politics. IL is believed that this
county will poll eight hundred votes at
the next election.--Mr David w.
of this place, dug up a beet
IN his garden which measured twenty, |
seven and one hslf inches in length and |
seventeen and one-half inches in cir,
cumference. Who can beat thatp !
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1878-03-20
AGreat|nventiOn

And ono OF much benefit to the people at
large, always attracts attention. Ii has
been the history of all trades and branches
of labor that the primitive method OF ac-
complaining the desired end has been quite
laborious, and very slow in Its rusulfs, at
least the history OF well ma Ing seems to
confirm the assertion. First digging with
the pick and spade, then somebody thought
Of boring by hand, but at first the augers
used were crude affairs, and capable of Dor
ing but small hole, supplying a very little
pure water. The opening up of the great
west made the demand for wells 40 great
that within the last two years well-boring
tools have been invented, and the business
has been In a measure revolutionized, and
has become source OF money making
equalled by no other branch where the In,
vestment Is so little. Men are looking now to
where they can get the best machine. Per-
lection has AT last been reached, and we offer
you machine complete in every detail, one
that Ia destined TO live when all others are
forgotten. II lis the only anger ever in
vented with a stone At acnment or an ad-
Unstable head that bores any sized we'll,
from two feet up, without reimers, called
the Centennial Vel .AuQer, paten ed June IL.
1873, and manufactured by D. 4. Hodge, Du.
buque. Iowa. Any one wishing to go into
the business. or trade land, town property
or stock for an anger ana territory, or wan
to travel in this state and sell augeys and
territory on large commission, will please
call on me at the National hotel or & p
Depler at the Planters house. Elm street,
Dallas, Texas, where Will be for the next
thirty days. The auger ia on exhibition. and
Ia running all the time. | will guarantee
any man 10 make as much as $40 per day,
This looks like gold mine, doesn't II nut
II has bern made with this machine day
after day, and will be made over and over
again by many who are lucky enough to 90
into the business. Gov and see me before
IL Ia too late, rs can not stay In this place
but thirty days ID. N. ROOT.
Patentee of said Anger.
N. BIAS have been engaged In The we'll
boring business for the last two years, and
am acquainted with the most OF The aupers
In use, and having run the Centennial Anger
for the last five months, would cheernlIly
recommend II as the most complete, and
best anger In the market Yours respect
iuily, g. L. DEPLER.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1878-03-20

No other medicine In tho world was ever
given such u test Of It's curative qualities as
BoschooH German syrup. In three years
two million four hundred thousand small
bottles OF this medicine was distributed free
OF charge by druggists III this country TO
those afflicted with Consumption, Asthma,
Group, severe Coughs Pneumonia and other
Diseases OF tho throat and lungs, giving the
American people undeniablo proof that der
man Syrup viii cure them. The result has
boeD TINT druggists In every town and VII
lnge In the United States are recommending
II 10 their customers, Go to your druggist
and ask what theyhuow about II. sample
bottles 10 cents Regular sizu 10 cents. Three
doees win relieve any case.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1878-03-20

ors bloom ana unto their sweetest flu-
GRANGE, naturcR healing balm for the cure OF
the lila, aches, palms nnI Irregularities Of
lovely woman, IN found In abundance, De
yelopod by chemistry ana improved by
science, thoHo wonderfully elective elG-
monts, for tho special care of woman and
her diseases, have boen lmpOunded and
offered 10 the afflicted female under the
name OF English Female Bitter NJ one dol
lar per bottle, AZ 1t never. falling uterine
tonic and regulator, they arc unequOlod,
Common " Walker and DR., howell, druggists,
have secured the agency for Dallas.
dlilal.W2t
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1878-03-20
GRANGER HOUSE.
No. 905 Il 007 Main Street, Dallas, Texas

THIS house is new and we'll ventilated,
having southern exposure, and is centrally
located. IL In In charge of Its old proprietor,
y, Sawyer, who never failed to please his
guests. Parties seeking house with all the
comforts OF home, cannot do better than
10 give The "Granger' \ call. Travellers ar.
irving In Dallas, via the Central railroad
can reach this house by taking the Nal,
street no, SO cars, one block south from DIN
pot, The best u bO n day house In tho ciec
BE sure to get on the street cars al tn swift
uno7dsm = SAWyEp