The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1878-11-26

% her to the advertisement headed, "Msn-
hood Restored" They al take it.
-Thi. thing Of running around nights
pays. Since Talmsge took four roads to hell
hey've raised bis salary to $4,000 per
rear. Here ws are, putting il down on the
plain old pike, for dollar day.
Judge Blsct did foolish thing At the
Vanderbilt trial "He buried his face in HE
hsnde." when he knows the grave robbers
20 through stone walls aud iron doors.
Flannel nsctiies are good for rheu-
matism.
So is hemp. Sure cure.
-Consumptives Who come to Kansas
never worry about their lungs. They lei
them take sir Of themselves.
No. its your pocket you've got To watch,
there.
-woman's e.a may be superior to
mans We don't want 40 many yarm. nts
around us that YOU have to s,and Up to
get your hand in the pockst-anJ then not
find what ycu are looking for.-keokak
Constitution.
Aha! Tried il, did you. What we're you
looking for?
Henry Ward Beecher appeared in
regimentsls the other day and rode 81 the
head OF his regiment.
Got regiment Of them now, has he !
Well. look ont for more infantry and in
fanny.
Mary had q little calf, and Yesterday
the calf butied Mary on James street OF
some other portion OF her anatomy, in
Kansas CITY, Kan, causing her TO walk
stifi legged into the domicil. from which
abe presently emerged with an II, With
which she asruck the calf. and the call
died immediately without making any
noise about il. Msry's rotberskinned the
calf With neatners and drspztch.-Kmsus
Gig Tinses
The above Perplexes ~ greatly. We
are not acquainted With Marys anatomy
or any the rest of her folks. but would give
i've dollar bill to know vhefeshout'
Nsrys James street VA. While skin
ming the calf with neatne.s and dispatch
might have answered the purpose. would
aot . sharp knife have done better?
Rev. Webster and Stevens exchanged
pulpit's and congregations Sunday ct u
o'clock. Neither congregation was disap-
pointed so far ~ We ere abe to learn
Holden AdraHes.
Changing pulpits is nothing. It's whe'
they svsp bottles that you hesr Hark iron
the tomb!
The New York pres il drawing in il
horns.
S-sssy, you fellows. ego sIo~. I,s {
loog time between drinks out here.
The Globe Democrm has the Reyabaical
On the hip.
From its columns, sometIn,es. we shOul'
Judge il had been around somebody's hips.
One OF the raciest pieces OF scandal "
&sse heard for many dsy comes to a
direct from Sedalia. High-tonsd respecta
hility il mixed up in il, hat il - none o
our fnneral. We psesume the BAzOOj ant
DsnsoeSas ri dish il up a. choice Sunda,
reading.-J.fason City Tribane.
Hesh! boy hesh! You mustn't tall
about such things. Well let you know sl
about il in time.
The Slim Teacher.
San Francisco Herald
"Mister, NO doubt you have all tn
learnin' that's required in . schoO
teacher, but it wants more than learn
in to make man able 10 teach schOo
in Cranberry Gulch. You'll soon fint
that out If you try. We've bad thre'
who tried it ON. One lays there IL
the graveyard. another lost his eye
and left: the last one opened schOo
and left before nOOn-time for th,
benefit Of his health. He hasn't beer
hack since. Now your re q slender
build, and all your learnin' will only
make it worse, for oil our young folk.
are roughs. and don't stand no non
sense!"
This was what one Of the trustee!
of the district said to my frienC
Harry Flotoe when he made applica
ton for the vacant position Of teacher.
"Let me try. / know am slender
but l am tough and l have strong
will, said Harry.
jest as you like. There's the
school house, aud I'll have notice
given If you want it done," said the
trustee.
81 d." ,aid Harry. land III open
next Monday at 9 .. M"
The notice was given. and there
was good deal of excitement in the
gulch and along the Yuba fats. More
than fifty Young people Of both sexes
made an excuse to drop into the
tavern to get . sight at the fellow who
thought be could keep school in that
district, and many q contemptuous
glance fell ON the slender form and
youthful face of the would-be teacher.
Eight o'clock on Monday morning
came, and Harry Flotoe went down
to the school-house with . key in one
hand and valise in the other.
Ready to slope il he finds we're too
much for him" said . cross-eyed.
hroad-shouldered fellow Of eighteen.
The school house was unlocked and
the new teacher went to the desk.
some Of the young folks vent to see
what he was going to do. though
school was not called.
Harry opened his valise and took
out q large belt. Then after buckling
it around his waist, he put three Colts
navy revolvers there. each Of six
barrels. and . bowie-knife eighteen
inches in the blsde.
Thunder he means business !"
mutsered the crose-eyed chap.
The new teacher now took out q