The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1878-11-23
VARIETY.

VARIETY.
There's only one thing stronger than a
woman's will, an that's a woman g WON'T
The quickest way to reform is for all to run
for Office and each man vote for himself.-Detron
Free Press.
A mark was set upon Cain but the umbrella
was, for some inscrutabe reason, left unprotec
ted Boston Transcript.
have seen men who had worn out their
vices, and supposed of course, that they were
living on their Virtues.-JOsh Billings.
CIeopatra's Needle is in place, and is said to
fit it beautifully with its surroundings. 1t may
be termed q real Mill ft.-AbaHy Times.
A United States Army surgeon had teegra-
phie communication from New Orleans '' fumi-
gated." The operation was successful.
Hail Maine Blaine, Blaine Maine Hale, all
hail Hale, all blame Blaine, Hail-Blaine blame,
all-Oh Hale We cannot get this thing right.
-Cneinnaf' Breakfast Table.
You NAV talk about the '' lean and hungry
Cassius,' but did you ever take a side view
of the man who has store for ten years
without advertising ?-BrOokUiHe Democrat.
Mrs. Az Now Mrs. B., will you come and
see our apiary?'' Mrs. b. (who has been put
ting it of ali the afternoon)-'' Well, Mrs. A.
the fact il, you know, I'm-I'm rather afraid
Of monkeys
A woman may be too conscientious to notice
the style of her neighbours hat, but ut the same
time she can't refrain from indulging In the
deIecta5le pastime Of poking the end of her
parasol through the bars of the monkeys cage
in a menagerie-
Gail Hamilton is nominated for President
of Vassar College. This nomination IS intended
to harmonize the two parties which are respec-
lively insisting that nobody but man and
nobody but woman should be head of that
institution.
Murat Halstead is the father of one dozen
living children. No wonder he every Summer
denounces ice-cream in unmeasured terms.
None of the Misses Halstead are yet old enough
to be treated by young men with slender
,mustaches.
A gentleman, on walking out on Sunday
.evering, met young girl whose parents lived
near his house as Where you going,
Jenny % said he. - Looking for sOn-in-law
for nv mother, SIR was the smart reply.
Jenny, in fact, was going courtIng.
Queen Victoria travels in railway carriage
which cost $4,000. y correspondent of the
Chicago Times says that its windows are shaded
with green silk curtains trimmed with costly
white lace its ottomans covered with cream
coIored silk, embroidered with the royal arms
and monogram in purple and gold and a carpet
which cost over $500 covers the floor.
An old Pennsylvania farmer says: Zone
night mine old dog Bose he howls all the even
ing, and he howls like eyerytings when me and
mine frau 90 to bed, and in the night katrine
she yaks me up and say, Hans, L not sleep pretty
much any, he Bose howls so, vat ish de matter 2
And | say. Somebody will be dead pretty quick
already,-and den we go to sleep init ourselves,
and the next morning look IN mine paper, and,
by jingo, there was man dead IN Cincinnati
Bishop James wit: One day young man
IsNfTz IIn
He had poor time once or twice 1t seemed
that he would break completely down. lie saw
the old Bishop before him, and that made mat
ters worse. % Bishop, what do you think was
the matter with me this morning. L can do n
great deal better than that p =" Quite likely.
Trouble was in your subject. YOU had better
let women alone. l never knew any good come
to a Methodist minister from NEEDING with
other mems wives"
wel-known solicitor who has arrived in
the neighbOrhOOd of the meridian of life has
recently mounted pair of Eyeglasses. An
old friend encountered him in his office, and
noticing the new departure, remarked '' So
YOU have to come to eyeglasses at last ?''
- Well. yes. put them on occasionally was
the reply. Eyes beginning to fail you, eh p
- No, not at all. My eyes are just as good rs
they were when was boy but l don't think
the light is quite rs good - and he smiled as he
said it, and then they both smiled.
- W hen L was IN Arran quite recently, SAID
Mr. SpurgeOn, Il heard ola minister who preach
ed in a certain church, and at the close of the
service, strongly urged to promise for a fu-
ture supply, the collection after his sermon hav-
ing been unusually large. : Dear me- said the
minister with becoming pride, what might your
ordinary collection amount TO p Last Sunday 1t
was twOpence halfpenny, What is it to-day,
then p asked the minister, expecting TO hear 4
large sum. Eightpenee halfpenny, was the re-
ply. Wac is me- moaned the minister within
himself, for gave the saxpence myself
HEE FACE WAS FAuILAR. The English White
hall ReUieI0, after magnanim Ously observing
:. that natural delicacy prompts us to refrain
from telling any anecdotes personally relating to
our august sovereign" goes on to tell this Won
derlul one 80 was ut one of Ii. Z. HIS gar
den parties at Chiswick. A welI-knOwn and
popular NJ. p. (heir to peerage, and at one
time the handsOmest man in the hOuse) who
had ON several occasions enjoyed the privilege of
friendly intercourse with the sovereign, suddenly
espied the Queen, and unfortunately having that
day-as not unusual with him-extended
his study Of the effects of alcoholic liquors too far
for perfect sObriety, boldly and frankly walked
up to her and SAID with genial smile and ex-
tended hand : | really beg your pardOn-your
face is very familiar to me, but ] can't recall
mo