The Benton record., 1878-06-14

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The New York Herald heads a notice Of
a sermon ON future punishment "Hell
undergoing alterations and REPAIRS
rs it possible to fy?' II her father
wears No. IL boot it is not only possible,
but imperatiyely necessary.
An abandoned wretch affirms that III
engdging wife only ring is necessary
but nothing short of the cash will secure
good hired girl.
The Connecticut man who invented
wooden hams might do a profitable busi
ness here by drying snow and selling it for
salt
Despite the change of water Grant ex-
periences in his travels, his health CON
tinpes good. Probably this is because he
doesn't use water.
Berlin is to have Chinese play-scene
~, dresses and all. Tie text was trans
lated under the supervision of the inter
prefer of the Chinese legation
Spilkins, after having shown his young
est boy how to black his own boots every
morning, remarked that there's nothing
like having 3 little son shine in The house.
The Earl Of Lonsdale, the greatest
3catch' of the day el2O,o0o a ycar) has
been caught by Lady Gladys Herbet'
daughter of the late Lord Sidney Hes-
bert.
A new prison in Concord, N. H., does
not seem secure. A convict i'll one of tie
"strong cells" dug his way through the
wall within an hour from the time ho was
put in.
A new gallery Of modern sculpture, FL
led mainly with notable works of French
sculpture in marble and clay, las been
opened in the Palace of the Luxembourg,
in Paris.
Jennie June says a fashionable bonnet
can be had for dollar and a half And
so it can. It is the from six to twenty
dollars worth Of trimming that strikes the
pocket-book in sore spot.
Fame is tardy in reaching some men,
butif man is deserving, it is bound to
strike him sooner or later. A Berks coun'
ty editor has had blue-and-~ed canal boat
named after him.
A train of cars on the Florida railroad
tie other day passed man on horseback.
ana there was a great hurrahing among the
passengers until they discovered that the
animal was tied TO fence.
The fellow who married her sister te
please his dying wife, finds the wife reeoy
ering, and don't know what to do with The
sister who is now on his hands. That is
what ails German family named suitz
living in New York.
Time is money; but, Judging from the
indolent life led by some persons, we thinl
they would be willing 10 exchange allo-
pathic quantities of time for homeophat;t
doses of money.
An exchange has long and CAREFUL,
written article intended to prove that rum
is slow poison" The writer will have
the sincere thanks Of thousands Of readers
thousands who will be glad to hear thai
the poison is slow.
An editor apologized to his readers af
ter this fashion. 1--WE expected to have q
death and marriage to publish this week
but a violent storm prevented the wedding
and the doctor being sick himself the pa
4 tent recovered and we are aeeordingl,
cheated out of both"
A wag once remarked on seeing friend
after dinner eating a piece Of aneient
cheese, that it reminded him Of Sampson
killing his thousands, and then improved
the parallel by suggesting the identity O
the weapon used.
A man, however innocent he may be
is always inve1oped in thick cloud d
damaging eircumstantial evidence When
he leans up against the hotel corner, care
fully picks out wooden toothpick, and
4 tries tolight it on the top Of 4 glass cigar
case Has0keye.
A Yankee photographer presented 6 re
folver At the head Of a gentleman who VI
sitting for a photograph, with the cheering
remark. "My reputation asan artist j
IT stake. Tf ron don't look smiling I'll