Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-05-05
Tie FItonogruph in Darlington.


should not go; he could not endure
the lonesome house during her absence.
And then again, he declared that it she
must go he would neglect his Office and
let his business 90 to the bowwows, and
he would 60 with her. At length, how
ever. she persuaded him to be reasonable,
and on her repeated assurance that she
would not remain away longer than three
days he consented to let her go. He
even bought her ticket, and ordered the
carriage and paid for it two days ahead,
lest his resolution should give way and
he should forbid her going from him.
And from that time till the morning OF
her departure Mr.. Barstinglow spoke
in suDdued tones, and moved about with
the air Of a man whose heart was buried
under mountains OF grief.
Before she left the house, Mrs Barsting
low set the phonograph in the sitting
room, behind the clock. Then she kiss
ed her disconsolate husband, and begged
him to preserve his precious life for her
sake while she was away. and then she
was gone.
Every day, during her three days visit
in the Gate City, she received letter
from her mourning husband, begging her
to come back and telling her how lone
some he was without her, and how like
grave the empty house seemed, and how
the hours dragged over his aching heart
with leaden teet. And in three days she
came home, aud filled the solemn house
with sunlight and laughter again.
The evening after her return to Bur
lington she took down the phonograph
81 WONDER" she said, 'what we said
last in its hearing. 1t must have been
something while we were discussing my
visit. Or maybe it has caught some OF
your poor, longing meanings while | was
away
And then she turned the crank
No. cr,aked the phoncgraph, in
tones of hearty reinsurance, "no danger
of that; she is safe in Keokuk for three
days; saw her safely off, myself this
morning. Light your cigar while light
another lamp and make the room look
cheerful"
why exclaimed Mrs. Barstinglow
in a countenance Of amazement, "what
on earth is it saving9"
vi, oOluC uWuSCLoO oOlhC VI Jou1
itors have talked into it some time or
other,' replied her husband, nervoeusly
"people talk all kind of stuff into q
phonograph, you know. They say any
thing for talk"
Mrs Barstlpglow, looking only half
convinced, gave the crank another turn
This is good whisky, Bartsy," ciac-
ulated the machine, very earnestly. "You
don't get it in Burlington, do you."
Mrs. Barstington gave little shrek.
"My DEAR" id her husband, looking
now quite as worried as he had looked
when he was begging her not to go to
Keokuk, put it away; somebody has had
it out in the stable, and it might say
something perfectly shocking, you put it
away"
But Mrs. Barstinglow, upon whom the
spirit Of investigation had descended
with great power: ground away, and the
photograph, in voice marvelouslv like
her husbands went remorselessly on:
Not much; they don't make this
kind now. It's some old Monongahsla
copper distilled, that Mrs. Barstinglow' 5
mother gave her for medicinal purposes
three years ago Fill up, there's plenty
of it, and can replace. it with any kind OF
beverage when it's gone. The old Cir
won't know the difference"
Mrs. Barstinglow felt herself turning
to stone, but the next turn OF the crank
brought out an uproarious-
Ha, ha, ha! Here's to the o. gu
That famed her cheeks into flame.
''For mercv's sake, Malachi Barsting
low she shrieked, what does this
mean?'
Mr.. Barstlnglow now looked as though
he really did wish she had never gone to
Keokuk.
cts Just as tell you,'' be said, with
an effort to look unconcerned that was,
like an humorous book, colossal sue
cess so far as its utter failure was con
cerned, somebody has been talking all
sorts of nonsense into it for talkss sake
How else could it get hold Of such dread
full stuff in our dear little home, loveyY
Mrs. Barstinglow didn't say, but she
turned away and the photograph asked
carelessly:
Throw round for the deal?'~
She thought she would faint but she
didn't, and the pititess machine proceed
ed to remark, with variety Of voices;
" It's my age You'll have to
straddle that blind if you come in
I" Give me two cards. Chip one
III see your little one and raise you a
couple" " Push the bottle this way
Ben Amt you going to stay in
Harry" Cant stay in on pair OF
skies" Call you & Two small pair
king to head' "Tens and deuces
Take the pot" g Barsty, get us some
thing to cat. Old girl left the cupboard
keys, didn't shc?' g Yes; told her | was
gong to keep bach at home, to save ex.
penses and keep out Of bad company
I" Ha, ha, hal! Ho no! ho!!!'
"Oh" yelled Mr.. Barstinglow, unable
to contain himself any longer, while his
wife, more dead than alive, leaned over
the phonograph and ground away at the
crank in dazed kind of way. "Oh
keep it up! That's right! keep her ago.
ing Grind it all out! Confound the
dibolical piece of black art and the vie
assassin that invented it. Keep it up
That's right! Believe senseless dibolica
piece of monstrous mechanism rather thar
your husband. Keep her a-going! KeeE
it up!''
And Mrs. Bars inglow did keep it up
She kept it up and listened to that pho
nograph swear and shout and howl. She
heard # chriak. ooh mvav NV ava I