St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1878-04-12
Squibs.

Weighed and found wanting The
Administration has been weighed in
Howe's scales and found wanting.-
Worcester Press.
An extravagant editor THE editor
of the Rochester Express advertises for
IL cOachman. Extravagant man he'll
be wanting a carriage and horses next.
Buffalo EgpreSs.
Simon Cameron does not find the Ar
kansa Hot Springs as warm for him as
the Widow Oliver made Washington
". 7. Star.
Rande, the Illinois murderer, is as
signed to the horse collar department
in the State prison at Joliet. Mistake.
In the eternal fitness of things it ought
to have been the halter department.
N. Y. Mail.
For the past few days the sun has been
shining brightly in Philadelphia during
the morning, but in the afternoon it
leaves here and goes to Washington to
get stroke at Jim Blaine.-PhiIadeI-
phid Chronicle Herald.
An ''intelligent" auctioneer was SELL
ing a small marble statue, and when
some one in the crowd asked him if it
was sound he confidently replied that it
was Gas good as the day it came out of
the foundry. y."-NorriStOaUn Herald.
Philadelphia has long been sneered
at by the balance of the country, but
now, by heavens she is about to be
terribly avenged. This week she turns
upon the world some $50 young doctors.
philadelphia Chronicle Herald.
By general consent the republicans
-. % IL
the Administration to it's fate-except
when they want friend appointed to
otfice.-BaltimOr Gazette.
One of our senators is about to intro
duce bill declaring that David Davis
(who weighs over 800 lbs.) must either
move little more to one side of the
Senate chamber, or else submit to hav-
ing an aisle cut through him. These
long walks are taking all the stamina
out of our public men, besides using up
much valuable time that might be em-
ployed in attending dog fights, horse
races and quadrOon balls.
Neps.
When the recording angel observes a
minister of the gospel holding a nail
between his fingers while he misses it
with hammer, the trust worthy scribe
drops into Il brown study and pretends
not to hear nything.-Iurner's Falls
Reporter.
A Boston paper says, ga butterfly
was caught at the South End Yesterday >
1t may he safe enough to catch but
terfy at the South end, but when YOU
go to grab wasp you want to catch it
at the nOrtheasterly end, shifting west
| nPl nHS fhn a.
Herald.
cautious man may seek recreation
in toying with the hind hoofs of the alb
rupt mule, but only the most reckless
will follow within couple of rods of
the agile young woman who kicks her
train into the air and catches it on the
fly,
'"This man." said the warden, paus-
ing before the door of Cell Nc. 80, "was
sent here for most brutal assault on
two freshmen at Princeton, where he
was a sophomore. He is one of the
worst characters in the prison. The
cell adjoining is occupied by a man
who was sophomore at Yale. He at
tempted to poison the entire freshman
class; all but seven were saved by an
tidotes. He is In for life. We are
obliged to keep him heavily ironed.
The next cell, No. 90, contains a Har-
ward sophomore, sent up for fourteen
years for putting out the eyes of fresh
man with a red-hot iron. These pris-
oners here having their heads shaved,
arrived from Amherst this morning it
is party of students that burned the
college and tarred and feathered the
president last month. ."-Utica Observer.