The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-01-05
Trouble Made by Interrogation Points.

ITOuDie Maue ny interrogation Points.
JOHN SPEARKINS was reared in Penn
sylyania, and was about as wild colt
as the staid old Commonwealth eve,
produced. He came to Ohio some six
or seven years ago, scattering wild oats
with a lavish hand, but after thor
Ough course of unsatisfying dissipation,
finally came to his senses, and conclud-
ed to turn over new leaf and lead
useful and steady life About two years
ago he married well-to-do widow with
home of her own on Seventh street,
and settled down.
Spearkins had not been home since
his marriage, and last month his mother
thought she would like to see for herself
how John was getting along and what
sort of a wife he had married, so she
picked up and came out to pay him a
visit He was delighted to see her after
so long a separation, and spared no at
tention to make her visit pleasant. But
the fond mother didn't seem to get on
well with her sons wife, and departed
for home far from satisfied with her,
and firm in the opinion that it would have
been much better for John had he re-
manned on the homestead and married
Farmer Barnstetter's girl, Melinda.
Johns wife was heightened daugh-
ter of fashion, and the old lady, being a
plain, supplemented woman, enter
tanned the idea that she was light
headed and stuck-up. The mother-in-
law was an old-fashioned body, of a
type Mrs. Spearkins had never encount-
cred, and she got the idea firmly
seated in her head that she was the
queerest woman she ever saw, and she
didn't like her one bit. The first day
of her stay, Johns mother occupied
in asking the price of pretty much
everything about the house, the wear
ing apparel and jewelry of her daugh-
ter-in-law included. The answers She
received were not as frank and full of
information as she hoped for, but she
supposed that John wife was shy and
backward on account of not being real
well acquainted. The next day she
asked all the questions she could con-
iure up concerning the first husband:
Was he better looking than John? Did
she like him better? Did he have the
smallpox, or was he freckled, or was
it simply dust under the glass of his
picture that made him look so queer?
Was he drinking man, did he stay
out late at nights, or did he belong to the
church? Was he rich before she mar
ried him, or did he make his money
afterward? Did he make it honestly,
or by sharp trading? Did she marry
him for money, for love, or just to get
home of her own? Which one of the
children looked the most like him,
Willie or Madgie? Did she think Willie
was a better name than Thomas Jeffer-
son, and wouldn't Mary have sounded
nicer than Madgie? If she had named
Willie after his father, why didn't she
name the baby John? Were her own
people rich? Did they own the house
they lived in? Did John have to do
anything toward keeping them? How
much? Was it right that he should do
so, and leave his own folks to scratch
for themselves? Was it her fault that
John hadn't been to see them? Did
she call John pet names in private?
Did her first husband have black hair
like John? Were his eyes handsome?
Could he play the fiddle? If John were
to drop off, would she marry again?
Would she go to the expense of mourn
ing? Wouldn't it ease the burden for
John a good deal if she would do her
own washing and ironing? Did she
think as much of her two older children
as of the baby? Why? Did she think
a woman could experience real genuine
love more than once? Didn't she think
a man run good deal of risk in marry
ing woman raised in the city? Did she
think nice woman would go to the
theater? Had she ever been there?
Wouldn't it pay better in the long run
to keep cow than piano? Wasn't it
piece of nonsense, anyhow, to keep so
many nice things in parlor they didn't
use much, when the city was so full of
poor folks? Did they always have fresh
meat three times a day? Couldn't the
children just as well go to the free
school as to have private teacher come
to the house? What was the use of
teaching them Latin and French, any
how, when provisions were so dear?
Was her first husband as good a pro-
wider as John? Was it doing right by
John to keep the other fellows picture
hanging on the wall? Didn't John never
kick against it? Who bossed the con-
Germ, her or John? Did she ever throw
up to him that she owned the house,?
Did they have many spats? Wasn't they
most generally on account of reference
to the past? When a man was dead.
didn't she think he ought to be buried
for good?
And so the guileless old lady kept her
tongue edging along every day during
her stay, with an utter absence of tact,
overturning and turning up things it
would have been much better to leave
undisturbed, and, because the poor, per-
secuted daughter-in-law didn't see fit
to give her an answer to each and every
question as full and concise as a legal
document, she took her departure with
the impression that her poor boy was
tied to the apron-string of woman as
proud as Lucifer and as stiff as hitch
ing-post. Cincinnati Breakfast Table.
The Philadelphia Press says tn =
Grant has gained forty-eight pounds
since he started on his European tour.
The wonder is that man who has
done So much aatinU hoe not cra;,aJ