Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1878-02-12

-IPy1aA.
Standing Room for All.
An infidel of the Rob Ingersoll stripe. wss.
from the pressure of his immediate surroNnd-
lngS was verginG towards orthodoxy, uggest-
ca doubts about hell, judgment AMI a hereA-
Ter our pastor opened himself like Jack
knife and submitted few mild remarks bY
way OF reproof, which only served 10 erlsper-
ate the tangle haired disciple of Paine. He
reared and swore. and clinched an argumeui
thus: Why, durn your picture where wia
You have your Judgment day" There isst
Standin room Oh the airrh for all the peopls
Twin and dead. When Gabriel blows his horn
and the people come up to Ice Judged wherein
they Stand' My boy says there's 1000 millisa
people now Twin, and when You count the
dead ones since Adam, where are yer Yos
can't stun none Of yer Jonah and Judgment
day nonsense down me-" Our pastor wasn't
much at figures, and not caring to continue
the controversy. subsidized into his corner aud
resumed the business OF picking Spsaish-
needles out of his coat The gospel woald
have suffered a severe defeat had H. not been
Tor the country Schoolmaster, who had lis
tened attentiyely TO what had been said He
was orthodox and was up Ia figures. Whoa
the blatant infidel mentioned the number Of
the earths inhabitants, the mathematics
maggot began working in the brain OF the
pedagogue. He walked to the end of tue
room where The lamp was, and began To figure
upon the wall. Presently he apnroached the
unbeliever aud asked him how much standing
room would be required 10 accommodate the
present population OF the globe. d" IL would
lake the whole United States" was the az
swer Another said it would take all the
northwestern states. The pastor thought
lney mlSht be huddied together In the two
states of Illinois and Indiana. The company
all laughed at the pastors ignorance. Al this
point The pedagogue, who was an exact mas,
got in his work. He led the way TO the cor
ner. and. lifting the lamp So that ali could see
his figures, made the statement that. allowing
three square feet for each person, the whole
population OF the world conld comfortably
stand together on space ten miles square.
He said he had consulted the best aur horities,
ana The opinion now was that the earth csa-
tanned exactly 1850 go people "Your ten
miles square makes loo Square miles" said he.
"one mile is just $3.50 feet square, and 5,2ss
multiplied by itself gives r, 81 40o square feet
to IN the mile: multiply this by loo and you have
ana divide this by 3-the number of square
feet to each perSon-and you have go Osl, Oee,
the exact population of the earth. A hard
shell Baptist preacher or Congressman Hanna
OF indianapolis, could address the whole as
sembly at once."-G indianapolis NeICs.
Mr.. STURGEON once said in the course Of q
sermon, in his pointed way: There's a MAJ
there who Is a shoemaker. He keeps his shop
open on SUNDAY; and last Sunday he sold goods
that came to the value of ninepence, and there
was feurpence profit out of it," Directly in
front OF the preacher there was a shoemaker
who had done that very thing. He went homo
feeling that there was something mysterious
about the preacher. The next sunday he left
his girl to open the shop, and hid himself in q
corner of the gallery. What was his aSt8nish-
utt
"Ah, sinner, SHINING by proxy is Just aS bad as
SHINING yourself. It's of no use any of you
csming here yourselves, and at the same tine
leaving your daughter 10 keep shop" Ths
terrified shoemaker was now certain that
God voice had spoken TO him. OF course he
reformed. The story was told to Mr.. Spur
geon, who, of course, had known nothing q
the matter, but who believes that the Holy
Spirit inspiyed his words.
MYSTERIOUS DEATH OF WEL-KNowN
CLERGYMAN.-The body of the Rev A. d. Os-
good, OF Lowell, Mass, was found floating in
StoningtOn harbOr, X. L., last Friday after
noon. A cOroners inquest was held, bat al
Journed TO elicit facts from friends in Boston
and Lowell. A mystery is connected with the
affair, as Mr.. OsgoOd had through ticket fer
i'm Boston Thursday Instead of going through
he stopped In Stonington and registered his
name at the Ocean house and requested TO be
called at half-past four Friday morning, a. he
wished TO take the train to Boston. Friday
morning his room was found vacated and So
left to pay the hotel bill. NOmOney was found
on his person and no watch or chain, alth 1ugt
watch key was in his pocket. His vaIise il
missing although the key was found. There
were no marks of violence on the body He
had travelling shawl fastened over his
shoulder and comforter about his neck.
Probably the buOyancy of the shawl kept the
body from sinking. Even his hat remaia eA
on his head, the body floating feet downward.
de was not seen by any one after he retired 10
| his room Thursday night. Ii is not kn0Wa at
what hour during the night he left the hoDal :
He was not seen by the watchman at the depot
The absence OF some facts leaves room fer
various theories. He leaves a son in Boston ,
also preacher, who has been telegraphed 10.