The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1878-03-09
VARIETY.

Mr.. Beecher.'' says the Boston Herald.
= ,ur heartfelt thanks are yours. Since hell
abolished we are absolutely happy"
4 The New York Herald heads notice of a
.,mon future punishment s. He'll under
. ng alterations and repairs"
itsl ST. Louis paper says that SO Miss Bella AXE
P Jne of the bellies of southeast Missouri She
ght to marry Jim Aker Jinger.
.IFFTCULTY.-The man who has a pretty,
ling wife doesn't have any difficulty in under
ling how thing of beauty may be jaw
MI 'eF'
IN Indian said, when he first heard it, he was
sprised that the white men killed their Savior
> since he knew them he wondered that they
In t steal his clothes.
The Worcester Press man shudders to think of
time when woman's dress will consist of
81 of black silk which she will carry in her
~ at distance from and behind her.
Doctor, my daughter seems to be going
I'd, and she's just getting ready for the
ding, too Oh dear, what is to be done?"
Get her 90 right on with the wedding, madam,
all means. If anything can open her eyes,
rriage Will"
-sIt was simply an informal affair." wrote the
tor, of little strawberry party at a neigh
fs house. " 1t was simply an internal affair, I"
s as, the compositor, and that editor will never
my more invitations from that quarter.
eGA distressed mother - writes to a newspaper
advice, which she gets thusly: The only
: to cure your son of staying out late o'nights
, break his legs, or get the girl he runs after
your housework-
Waiter What would you be pleased to
Ir, sir? We have potage printanier la
sienne: fricandeau de veau ayec coquettes des
l.. Hahnauf-D
lWeH, give us n pIateful of whichever of
,A's nearest to an Irish stew!
.ine husbands come a trick on talkative
q \. A man tells his wife that he is going to
uatansogowmongotongo fishing. He
s,1 REQUESTS all his friends to call at his house
inouire his whereabouts. When he returns,
moor woman is exhausted and doesn't speak
in for a month.
During the battle of Bull Run, brigadier-
eaeraI discovered soldier concealed in hole
+ the ground, and ordered him to join his regi-
e,nt. The man, looking him full in the face,
ced his thumb upon his nose and replied,
70 you don't old fellow; you want this hole
lrself."
\ thoughtful person thus muses. on the story
Daniel in the lions den " How sad it was
those poor lions, when Daniel was dropped
D their den, to be compelled to 60 shifting
m the calf of his legs would taste, and be
lied the luxury 1t was very rough on them
rs, but it taught them self Daniel"
The latest piece of Eastern music is ' Grease
, GriddIe, Birdie Darling" a toothsome
eIody by the author of 90 Bang the Slapjacka
IT my Forehead, - '' Bring the Soothing Syrup,
Dlly'' and other domestic airs sacred to the
:mory of loves young days. Let US now have
song and chorus on ''Trim the Lampwick
be
dish, - - Knead the Bread, for am Hungry,
some other culinary ditty that will sound
ely in parlor concert
Austin ReyeilIe: The story is told of an old
ly who asked one of our physicians how a
tain patient of his was getting along, and
zen the doctor informed her that the patient IN
estion was cOnvalescent, che said So That e
Ugh. Back yander in the States l knowed two
mmin and crippled boy to die of GONZALES
at. On one of the wimmin it broke out all
er her in a rash, and it struck in, and she
I'D afore you could bat your eye. But she
de beautiful corpse. They make nice corpses
: en- they die of that, don't they, Doc?" The
. Or said he believed so.
20 saw wood saw wood for my dinner % said
tramp, with look of horror. 50 Not much
ont 1t isn't that L object to labor
to no man in respect for the God-giYen priyi-
of earning nv sweat mean sweating nv
!. ugs-that is to say, breading my earn, by
brow of-you know what L mean. 1 am
Hr, nav. anxious to work. Give me some
spread right out here in the snow. Show
b here there is a stone wall to Iay-behind.
hing, but helping in the most distant way to
state the mighty forests of this broad land.
the Almighty mean. 20 gatner moisture and
!. Why, do you know that this continent is
5 ,ed TO become an arid desert if this destruc-
goes on? It's fact, and won't be party
No forests, no rain-eS srything dry
am. [ d, dine the responsi Jility for It. Tell
ou'ye got some coal TO cary in, ana ii see
IN can't sen you boy to d, it, bu. 40 wood
ng for mt. II you please.