The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-11-13

bow. aud after a smile Of encourage.
ment, began;
IF matters don't mead pretty soon,
III either murder her or take my
own life.'
Domestic trouble, | suppose 2
queried Bijah.
That's it, sir, and I'm getting des-
psrate. / left home thinking I'd
lump from the dock, but / happened
to think OF you, and SO thought I'd
ask advice
Is the bread heavy
Blast the bread ! ! can stand heavy
bread, sloppy tea. raw meat and hall,
cooked potatoes, but | can't nor won't
stand this Internal whining, complain.
log and jawing aroundn
Fellow traveller along the tow
path of Times brosd-gsuge canal,
think ] see the pint. You have been
married about two years.
Not quite
You are fifteen years older than
yo1r wife
'Yes-eighteen.'
'You have a wooden leg, and she
she-r
She hasn't, but | wish she had
two of 'emn
She likes good clothes
'Yon betn
She likes the mad whir of society
SIC bounets, reserved seats at the
opera. IS boots, forty-buttcn kid
gloves and trains on Der dresses "
She does-that's Der TO a dot ?
exclaimed the husband.
And you perfer your home-eyen-
Jag FIRE, newspapers, SLOW sppies,
game of checkers, glass of cider, cat
on the hearth, and so on
That's the sort O. man | am, sir,
and she harnesses me to death. She's
on the trot all day and ou the CAD all
the evening, and i'll demonstrate she
says i want to make a slave and q
prisoner Of her.
Don't you go along with her to
the theatre and parties =
i used to, bat for the last year
she's got awful particular about my
wooden leg says the public viii
think i was shot while stealing
chickens
Does, ,eh ? and you sit al bone
aud keep your heels warm by the
cook stove while she g~alliva1ts.'
The same, sir, and now what shall
/ do about it? Something has got
TO be did, and that right of. III be
hanged to Davy Crockett. if | pct mp
with it another day. You are an
older man than / sm aRd you've bad
three wives to my one, and III do
just as you say about it
Fellow-mau, Won have been wrong
from the beginning slowly answered
Biiah as be looked out Of the window
in a weary way. The msa who mar
ries a woman only half his age is g
d. f. deceived fried cake at the start
Youth and old age don't like their
tsters cooked the same way, aud the
man who saws they do is a forger.
They don't see alike, and it's a cat
and-dog life. Then again, you have
a wooden leg and you should have
married G woman with O glass eve
or a broken nose as an Offset Ia
that case, neither party has anything
to twit the other about. If was to
marry again, bald-headed as ! am. |
should look for q lady wearing No.
10 gloves and No. 9 shoe As an Offset.
Do you love your wife,
well, to be honest about It, ]
don't think either Of us are dying Of
love"
Then, nv friend, you go home
and have o candid talk, divide up the
things aud part good friends. Give
her the largest half, throw 10 some
small change, and see that she gets
home safe to her mother. BY and
by you can quietly secure a bill OF
divorce, get on some store clothes,
and look ont for q woman of fifty who
has the rheumatics so that she can't
CAD"
That's honest, is it ~
Honest IDiun. If you can't live
happy together don't hesitate to live
happy apart. No use in any scandal
or hard words, but divide up and
call it a bad mistake. This killing
ones self on account Of domestic
troubles is all bosh."
That's so, and I'll walk straight
home and begin the dividing up bus
mess. Thank you, Bijah, may your
feet stop growing as a reward for
this
When be had departed Bjah took
a short cut through the alleys, and,
presently gained a position from
whence he could view the house
where the man lived Developments
did not tarry.
The husband had not been in the
house FIVE minutes before be was
suddenly rushed out again, hat and
cane flying. and his share Of the
things, consisting of three dat-irons,
a kettle and two bricks, overlook him
before be could dodge.
so young and so %artless = mused
Bijsh, as be turned away; and yet
that last brick thumped him between
the shoulders just as purity as if I'd
throwd it myself Detroit Free
Press.