American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1878-01-26

the Indian tents. Before one of these
sat crouched the baffied savage, singing
his own death-hymn to the tom-tom.
He complained that he must now say
goodbye to wife and child, to the sun
light, to his gun and the chase He told
his friends in the spirit-land to expect
him that night, when he would bring
them all the news of their tribe. He
swung his body backwards and for
wards as he chanted his strange song,
but never once looked up-not even
when his foe spurned him with his foot.
He only sang on, and awaited his fate.
Then the half-breed bent his head and
spat down on the crouching Sioux, and
turned leisurely AWAY crueller re-
venge than if he had shot him dead.
1t is not given to every one to play
the philosopher, and accept fortunes
bullets and favors with equal placidity.
Horatios are scarce. But there are
plenty of people capable of behaving
like Spartans where the trouble does
not touch their individuality. GLOW
can get out of this? '' asked an En-
glishman, up to his arm-pits in Scotch
bog, of passer-by. 'I dinna think
ye can get DOT of it, was the response
of the Highlander as he went on his
way.
Mistress of herself was the spouse of
the old gentleman who contrived to
tumble off the ferryboat into the Missis-
sippi, and was encouraged to struggle
for dear life by his better-half shouting
g There, Samuel; didn't tell you so?
Now, then, work your legs, flap your
arms, hold your breath, and repeat the
Lords Prayer, for it's mighty onsartin,
Samuel. whether you land in Nicksburg
or eternity ~ tst
Thoroughly oblivious of court man
ners was the red-cIoaked old Kentish
dame who found her way. into the tent
occupied by Queen Charlotte, at a vol
unteer review held shortly after her
coming to England, and after staring at
the royal lady with her arms akimbo,
observed: "Well, she's notso ugly as
they told me she was pa compliment
the astonished Queen gratefully accept
ed, saying: t'Well, my good woman,
am very glad of dat.'' Probably Her
Majesty fergaYe her critics rudeness as
the outcome of rustic ignorance and
simplicity.
There is no cooler man than your
simple, low, While General Thomas
wsts-inspeeting the Notifications of Chat
tanooga, with General Garfield, they
heard some one shout; g Hello, mister i!
You! I want to speak to you'll" Cen
eral Thomas, turning, found he was the
"mister" SO politely hailed by an East
Tennessean soldier.
"Well, my man, said he, "what do
you want with me?''
81 want to get furlough, mister,
that's what l WANT was the reply.
"Why do you want furlough, my
man?'' inquired the General.
Well, want to go home and see
my wife,
"How long is it since you saw herP''
Ever since I enlisted; nigh on to
three months" -s. r 81
''Three months - exclaimed the COM
mander. "Why, my good fellow,
have not seen my wife for three years -
The Tennessean looked incredulous.
and drawled out: g Wall, you see, me
and my wife amt that sort -
The Postmaster-G General of the United
States once received an odd official
communication; the Raeborn Post
master, new to his duties, writing to his
superior officer: &c Seeing by the regu-
lations that 1 am required to send you a
letter of advice, must plead in excuse
that have been Postmaster but short
time but will say, if your office pays
no better than mine, 1 advise you to give
it up" To this day that Postmaster
General has not decided whether his
subordinate was an ignoramus or was
quietly poking fun at him. :
Spite of the old axiom about self
praise, many are of opinion that the
world is apt to take a man at his own
valuation. If that be true, there is a
church dignitary in embryo somewhere
III bAC lOuhS 0O1COA1, WAOoO
Bishop felt it requisite to send for the
clergyman recommending him for or
dination, in order to tell him to keep
that young man in check; adding by
way of explanation: " 1 had the great
est difficulty, sir, to prevent; him exam
lining mel" This not-to-be-abashed
candidate for clerical honors- promises
to be as worthy of the cloth as the Amer
lean minister who treated his village
congregation to one of Mr.. Beecher's
sermons, unaware that the popular
Brooklyn preacher made one of his
hearers. Accosting him after service,
Mr.. Beecher said: q That was fair
discourse how long did it take you to
write it?''5 5 III -
"Oh, Itossed it off one evening" was
the reply. = = I s.
g Indeed!'' said Mr., Beecher. ssWell,i
it took me much longer than that to
think out the framework of that SER
mon.'' i stI.l-5 ~-
g Are you Henry Ward Beecherp'
asked the sermon-stealer. Isl
e I am,'' said that gentleman.
g Well, them" said the other, not in.
the least disconnected, g all 1 have to
say is, that L amt ashamed to preach,
one of your sermons anywhere"
:. John Phenix,'' the American hui
morist, being one. night at q theater,
fancied he saw friend some three seats
IN front of him. Turning to his next
neighbor he said: ''.Would you be kind