Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1878-08-03

I have q frs~sA. Zoe ssmpkis. hy
n.me- Now, SsmpkIns KEGS . meat
market Nssklng uneemmoo IN the
line of bo.sne>s. bu; :" th<rety hangs
my tale Sampkins had l-cen get
ting svest On . gIIi of late. and had
promised 10 take her 30 m entertain
meat OF some sort. On . particular
evening. and vas Of cour-e in duty
hound 10 put IN an appearance af
the appointed time. Ssmpkins had q
clerk, but it 10 happened that rela-
tive of the clerk took it into his
or her head to he dangerously Ill,
and the clerk had to leave on short
notice, 80 that Simpkins was in o
very bad way Mt his unfortunate
dilemma. Customers thronged in |;
everybody seemed TO have acquired
q sudden and ungovernable appetite
for something substantial. Well,
the long and the short of it was,
Simpkins collared me as I passed his
door. and quietly implored me to
come to the rescue, patting me ia
miliarly on the shoulder, and en-
couragingly exclaiming, There's o
good fellow!" As a lull occurred
Just then, he marched me round in
PRODUCING me to the different varie-
ties of animal delicacies necessary
for the proper equipment OF q butch
er. Now I, be it known. am not
much of gourmond in that line,
and therefore knew much less than
those more fond of animal diet, and
though realizing my incompetency
to fill the post, yet-overcome by
the tide of eloquence-I finally sue
cumbed, and was duly installed be-
hind the counter, in all the glory of
first-class butcher.
Simpkins disappeared with q beam
ing countenance, just as the next
customer appeared, and with as bold
an air as I could assume, I asked:
"What can I do for you, sir?'
The man tersely said, as he dived
after the daily paper lying on the
counter:
"Beef-roasting piece-eight or
nine pounds"
Simpkins had enlightened me as
we'll as time would permit, but be-
ing in a slightly dazed condition, re.
sulting from my novel position, I
really could not tell beef from pork,
and seized upon a good-sized shoul-
! der, weighing fourteen pounds.
Fourteen pounds, SIR" said L;
"you'd better take it all-splendid
beef" I added, in what I thought q
very good tone for on amateur.
"All right" he replied, without
once raising his eyes from the pa
per.
After depositing it in his ample
basket, I forgot all about him, in
waiting on the train that filed in.
The next in order proved to be Q
middle.aged female, who knew the
name of every atom Of flesh in the
store. She did't seem inclined to
hurry herself, and I stood by in ad-
miring awe till she decided upon
taking a few ounces of pork steak.
Sirloin, porter-house, or round ?"
cried I, dim recollection of some
thing Simpkins had said concerning
steak floating through my mind, and
without doubt as to my accuracy,
as I naturally supposed steak the
same in pork or beef.
An uproarious burst of laughter
greeted me startled ears, and the
man with the paper flung it down
and shook convulsively.
Sirloin, porter house, or round ?
Ha! ha! ba!'
After subsiding a little he peered
into his basket, and asked how much
per pourd "that beef" was. I
stammered:
"Six cents cents o pound, SIR"
He handed me eighty -four cents
in currency, and you will al admit
that that was pretty cheap, when
shoulder was fetching sixteen cents
in every other market in town, a. I
aftervard learned. He left, looking
amazingly pleased at something.
After . great deal Of trouble and
confusion I got that lot disposed Of,
when in came little giri shout ten,
Who called for sxnsAgx I mentally
surveyed my lsndlaayis table. where
m .rsicle by that name so@etames
appe~r~a sssm.ins IN . laks of
lsquiA fxs. or little heaps thss sswsvs
r~mzndea me of Cs<szis soxp verr
ps~@~d usA~r the name 81 besegna-
~FrsA er sisred =" Issquised-
II aoEt kneg. she tz8sdly -
pf~A " Mamma o&ly asa ssn-
..e~-
Afs<r es<xhsziznc Sx8pkxns sseek.
xna sss kpazAg ssyskiag tAss qusse
e.ms up se ny sdsas. I - isagtA -
leeasd tke isexs.e bsasgsa fhsre vas.
xsd cs<ssae 90 cd . hssle. snd
/ fnlazng "a sunn1haeA TIE h<x1e oakes
sk.f iocksd % saPsa.rsozs. l slsrss
q I'll zr. ssa fs<gwsel.g 90 vsssh a.
wrssP.sd q up. ssa k&sasd Il % The
E s,~x&~ .-~~a -. $4,000 4asskrnsp a