Connecticut western news., 1878-12-04
WIT AND WISDOM.

Fall suits are cut on the buy-us.
 Indians never kiss each other, and, having seen few Indians, we cant blame them.
 The whisper of beautiful woman can be heard further than the loudest yell of duty.
 Show me the size of your chromo and I'll tell you how many pounds of tea you bought.
 One active tongue can keep two ears full all the time and only feel that 1t IS taking healthy exercise.
 There is very suggestive proverb which declares that " There are great many asses with short ears. '"
 -FeIons are differently located. Sometimes at the end of the finger, and not unfrequently at the end of rope.
 Every mans roof covers little cor ner of Paradise, unless he has scolding wife, in which case the climate changes.
 The Parisians have introduced square umbrellas. They'll be just as bad as the other kind-never round when it rains.
 How sure it is that if we say true word. instantly we feel it is Gods not ours, and pass it on-Elizabeth B. Browning.
 A young lady who has young man "keeping company with her who IS employed in telegraph office, calls him "the electric spark"
 It is always safe to follow the re- ligious belief that our mother taught us-there never was mother yet who taught hor child to be an infdel.
 The dying words of President Ray mond ought to be written on the sky (" How easy-how easy it is to glide from our work here to our work there"
 One of Sir Boyle Roche's invitations to an Irish nobleman was rather equivo- cal CT hope, my lord, if you ever come within mile of my house you'll stay there all night.
 The young man who will turn up his nose at cabbage in connection with i oorned beef at cheap restaurant will consume it with efiusion in the guise of pure Havana cigars-three for ten cents,
 As when we are in prosperity we are ready to think our mountain VIII never be brought low, so when we are in adversity we are ready to think our valley will never be filled up. Matthew Henry.
 A New York belle besought her father for new seal-skin sacque. My dear, he responded fondly, but seriously, i've paid over $5, ,5OO,OO to the British Government last Thursday, and can't afford it."
 A man very much intoxicated was taken to the station-house. "Why did you not bail him out?" inquired by- stander of friend. "Bail him out '. exclaimed the other, "why, you could not pump him out"
 The temperate man is dear to the Deity because he is assimilated to him. The first and best of victories IS for man to conquer himself to be con quered by himself is of all things the most shameful and vile.-Plato.
 "Yes," said venerable and benevo- lent. looking old man, "I've always really enjoyed living in an unhealthy climate" "That's queer" said a py- stander. "What's the reasonP VI rather think" responded the venerable and benevolent-looking old man, that it is because I am physician.
 The old negress had philosophic brain and saw far into the significance of this enlightened nineteenth century who said, when some one asked her to define rogue: GA rogueP Wy, press YOU. my chil'n, a rogue is man who steals jest like other folks till he gifts kotched. an de mint he gifts kotched he's rogue"
 The little folks wanted the head of the family to spend the evening with them. Father said he thought of at- tending a meeting. Various measures were discussed for keeping father at home, when Tommy, aged five, addressed his brother, aged seven, as follows 1: "In tell you what we'll do. We'll put a sion on the front door, No admittance to % out of this house nights. :"
 pr. Barton, of Trivoli, has habit of talking to himself when riding along the road. On certain occasion, while indulging in this eccentric habit he was met by friend, and thus accosted: "Hello, Doctor! What the deuce are you talking to yourself for9" The Doctor pulled up his horse and replied l: "For the very reason, sir, that it pleases me to talk to gentleman who is capable of minding his own business-get up, Paul."
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