The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1878-08-28
Mr., Kroeger's Inventions.

I was around at q club-roOm, the othel
night, reading the weekly papers. Jus'
as I laid the last n down, and was
thinking of going home, some one
tapped me on the shoulder, and looking
around, I discovered the genial counter
ance of my old friend Mr.. Kroeger.
He took q seat beside me, and glanced
for q moment at one of the papers.
The article which caught his eye was
an account of a wonderful case of pile
botomy and transmission. Mr. Kroegel
threw the paper down in a frenzy Of en-.
thusiasm, and wiping the perspiration
off his forehead, he c~ommenced:
"Talk about your transmitting one
mans blood into another Why, gosh
blame it, I beat that all boiler when
was young and visionary. I thought
I'd sail in and raise oranges and ban.
anas, and make money. Orange and
banana trees won't grow here; the eli.
mate is too cold. I soon got over that
difficulty, though"
"You did," 1 asked.
"Of course I did. lust had a lot Of
sap out of the orange and banana trees
shipped to me from the West Indies
Then I got a machine and sucked the
sap out of q lot Of oak trees, and forced
the orange and banana sap in it's place,
"You see, orange trees wouldn't live
here in winter, but. oak trees will. Al
soon as the sap got worked through the
limbs, and spring smiled upon the lan6
with flowers and bad poems, these OAK
trees broke out with an orange-blosson
rush, and in the autumn I picked tropi
cal fruit by the bushels. I thought il
would be q good way to utilize trees
which don't bear fruit"
"You have considerable inventive
power, MI. Kroeger. I think you are
one of the most wonderful men living
This notice tickled him.
ooh, yes," he went on pleasantly
"I'm considered some in the invention
line. But that orange business was only
a sort of starter, 80 to speak" -.
"Then you proceeded further with
it2"
IT imagine you are right" Responded
Mr.. Kroeger. "When I saw my sue
cess with the tropical fruit, I got q
phonograph full of music and forced il
up a tree, and that tree would bear flow.
ers of music. As o az it burst into
blossom, it would keep up the most de-
licious strains of music I ever heard
You see, each flower would hold and
play music Just as a shell holds the
sound of the sea.
81 made loads of money on those
flowers. Men used to walk down Broad
way with a boutonniere, playing "Belle
Helene " and "la File de Madame An
got " all the time. Ladies used to wear
these music flowers in their hair, and
when one of them rested her head on
your breast, on o fine summers night, it
was just lovely"
"Wonderful! I calculated.
"And then," he went on, II went to
work and injected pigs blood into an
other tree; and in a few months the
limbs would be hanging down with pigs.
You see, they couldn't root in the gar
den, and we had to hoist their food to
them by means of a sort Of derrick. Yes,
they would hang there in clusters, like
grapes, and grunt with rapture. DC
casionally I would 60 up on a ladder to
pick one. I raised chickens and COWS
on the same principle. I then thought
I'd force stone dust into q tree, and see
if T couldn't raise brown-stone fronts.
I'll tell you about it after I get a drink
of water"
As O as he turned his back to gel
the proposed drink, I got up and quietly
stole away.-Puck.