davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-03-12
Tricks of an Amateur Bartender,

rT7HE Ncvdda Enterprise says: The
i Hon. Hugh Carlin, of Lyons Co.,
was in Virginia City last week. He is
naturally good-natured and unsus-
pecting, but don't presume too far, or he
will be sure to drop on your little game.
Some time ago Hugh was in Eureka
Not having anything to do when he
first arrived in the town, he wore away
good deal of time at saloon kept by
an old acquaintance, whom he happen
ed find there.
One morning this friend had some
business out of town and got Hugh to
take charge of the bar, during his alb
sence. Hugh laid aside his hat and
took up his position.
Some person who was in the saloon
when Hugh thus took command went
out among the boss jokers of the town.
In pursuance of plan agreed upon the
first customer that arrived said, as he
marched up to the bar Got any real
firstrate whiskey ?"
Have i got any real good whiskey?
Haven't 1! You don't find anything
else passed over this bar. Never was a
finer package of whiskey lugged into
Eureka than what is on tap back in the
store room J"
The man poured out big horn, took
a light swallow of it and began cough.
ing. He coughed so hard that he was
obliged to set down his glass. He then
clapped both hands upon his stomach
and coughed himself all about the room
the tears streamed down his cheek-till
he seemed not to have strength left to
cough more, or to utter a syllable, when
he took his handkerchief from his eyes,
shook his fist at the astonished bar-keep-
er, and rushed out of the saloon without
aword, leaving his glass of liquor stand
ing on the counter.
Hugh was frightened and bewildered.
He took the whiskey bottle, held it up to
the light, and carefully examined it,
fearing he had made some mistake
Finally, TO make sure, he tasted it, and
found it to be whiskey, and pretty fair
whiskey, Too.
He had but little more than recovered
his usual serenity of mind when gen
tleman came in and said; Have you got
any good brandy-real genuine brandy
no manufactured stuffY"
What do you take us for?" cried
Hugh. There's not a drop of doctored
liquor of any kind about this establish
ment. No such brandy as this was ever
before brought to Eureka. 1t cost $50
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-03-12

lsy" The penetrating winds incident to this
season Of the year are severe ordeal for the
lungs. The neglect of hard cough generally
leads to weakness of the lungs, which, not
infrequently, results In Consumption.
schenck's Pulmonlc Syrup will at once re.
lleve and loosen tight cough, and is such an
agreeab BILE remedy that children will take IL
without being coaxed. A cold on the lungs, If
consumption is not already developed, may be
easily mastered by the use of the Pulmonic
Syrup, together with Schenck's Mandrake Pills
to clear the system of the accumulated mucus.
In more serious cases, where the disease has.
become deeply seated, amp the patient suffers
from loss of appetite, weakness and emacia-
tion, Schenck's Sea Weed Tonic should be
used In connection with the above mentioned
remedies, to stimulate the appetite and bring
the digestive powers into healthy action, there
by sustaining the strength of the patient and
enabling him to resist the progress of the dis
ease until the Pulmonic Syrup may perform its
healing and cleansing work.
The use of these standard remedies accord
ing to the directions which accompany them,
cannot fail to produce most satisfactory re-
suits. A letter addressed TO DR.. Sehenck, cor.
Sixth and Arch Sts., Philadelphia, asking ad-
vice, will promptly receive the Doctors per-
sonal attention, free.of charge.
Schenek's medicines are sold by all drug
gists. 10 At
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-03-12

Courage" " said her husband; "they
are trying to batter the door down, but
l hardly think they can do 1t. They can
not so long as the prop holds as well as
It does now"
at is not for myself | fear" she said.
II is for our child, Reuben"
We will do our best to save him. and
our own lives" he answered. Even
though the door gives way, with my
rifle can do much to save u.s."
Once more terrible blow was dealt
upon the door, and at the same moment
a vivid flash of lightning, followed by a
peal Of thunder that seemed to shake the
solid earth. So tremendous was the
blow the savages dealt that the prop
against the door gave way, and fell
from its place, and the door itself trem-
bled as though it was coming down.
The heart of Reuben sank within his
breast. Another such blow must place
them at the mercy of the savages. Only
his rifle would stand between them and
death. But at this moment Providence
interposed its hand. AS though the peal
of thunder had been signal for the
tempest to commence, the rain came
down in torrents. Not knowing the ex-
ecution their last blow had done, the
savages hesitated as the storm broke
upon them.
A little way from the cabin stood a
large oak that the settlers had spared for
its beauty and grateful shade. TO the
shelter of this the savages fed, to wait
until the tempest was over Thus our
friends had respite for time. Hastily
Reuben replaced the prop, and did his
best to make the door secure again.
Ten minutes passed and the rain came
down as though there was second
deluge upon the earth. He heard
nothing of the savages, but he thought
he knew where they were, and that the
attack would be renewed as soon as the
rain had cleared.
Suddenly there came a vivid flash of
lightning, followed by a report that
seemed to shake the earth as though it
was leaf suspended in mid-air. For
long time they sat half dazed and
stunned by the report, and when at last
they were themselves again the rain had
ceased. A bright light shone without.
and Reuben once more gazed through
the crevice to see what it meant.
The oak was riven into thousand
fragments, and its trunk was on fire.
Scattered among the debris lay the
mangled forms of the savages. The
same blow that had blasted the oak had
deprived them all of life.
In after days Reuben and Ruth told
their grandchildren how it was that they
were saved by lightning.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-03-12
RAILR O AD s
PHILADELPHIA AND READING R. R
ARRANGEMENT OF PASSENGER TRAINS.
Novemlber 5th, 1927.


TRAINS LEAVE II HARRISBURG AS FOLLOWS
For New York, at $50 SIC a. m. 2OOp. m,
For Philadelphia, at $40, $40, 945 am.
and 1857 p. m.
For Heading, at $40, $40 o45 a. m. and 200
3.57 and 7.55.
For Pottsville at 500. $40 a. M. and 1857
y. M, and via Schuylkill and Susquehanna
Branch.at 2.40 D. m.
For Auburn via s. & 8. Br. at 5.10a m.
For Allentown, at $40, S.lOa m, and at 200,
The $50, s. 70 a. M, 3.57 and #755 p. m, trains
have through cars for New York.
The $40, $40 a. M. and 200 p. m, trains have
through cars for Philadelphia.
SUNDAYS:
For New York, at $40 a. m.
For Allentown and Way Stations at $40 a. m.
For Reading, Philadelphia and Way Stationsat
LAO p m.
TRAINS FOR HARRISBURG, LEAVE AS FOL
LOWS:
Leave New York, at S.45 a. NJ, LOO, $50 and
las p. M.
Leave Philadelphia, at 9.l5 a. m. $40, and
Leave Reading. at tI.4o, 7.4O, 1l.2o a. m. 13O,
6.l5 and 10. IS p. IN.
Leave Pottsvlle, at 61O, 9.lS AIN. and 4.35
Andvla Schuyll1ll and susquehanna Branch at
SIS a. IN.
Leave Auburn via s. q s. b. at u noon.
Leave Allentown at t2.30 $50, 0.05 a. M, 12.l5,
4.30 and 9.0j p. m.
SUNDAYS:
Leave New York at $50 p. m.
Leave Philadelphia, at 7.20 p. IN.
Leave Reading, at 44O 7.4O, a. m. and 1888
p. m.
j. L. WOOTEN, Gen. Manager
Z. G. HANCOCK, General Ticket Agent.
+DOes not run on Mondays.
*Via Morris and Essex II. r.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-03-12
Always a Chance.

1t is scarcely necessary to remind rea-
sonable men that if they wish to be sad
and sour, to grumble and complain, there
is always chance. Reasons for being
cast down and detected are as plenty as
blackberries in the height of harvest. If
one thing goes right, you may be sure
there is always something else going
wrong; and if one thing is in order,
something else is out of joint, or at any
rate soon will be. The chief difference
in the feelings and dispositions of people
results from the different way of looking
at things. Few nights are so dark that
no stars are to be seen; the thing is TO
look them out and keep your eyes on
them, and make the most of what light
you can discover,
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-03-12
THE SEASIDE LIBRARY.

Choice books no longer forthe few only. The
best standard novels within the reach of every
one. Books usually sold from 81 to So given
unchanged and unabridged) for 10 and 20
cents.
|. East Lynne, Mrs. Henry Wood (Doubld No. )20c.
2. John Halifax. Gent, By Miss MulOck. zoe.
3. Jane EyreBy Charlotte Bronte, Double No. voc.
4. A Woman Halter, Charles Reade'snew novel, 20c.
). The Black. indies Jules Verne's latest. 10c.
:. Last Days of Pompeii, BY Bulwer. l0c
7. Adam Bede. By George Eliot Double No. 20c.
$. The Arundel Motto, By Mary Cecil Hay. lee.
.. Old Myddelton's Money BY Mary Cecil Hey I0c
10. The Woman In White, BY Wilkie Collins. zoe.
II. The Mil on the Floss, BY George Eliot. 20c.
II. The American Senator, BY Anthony Troll
1924 Prncess of Thule. BY william Black. c. zoe.
II. The Dead Secret BY Wilkie Collins. Ice.
Is. Romola, BY George Eliot, (Deuble No) zoe.
f6. The English at the North Pole and Field of
Ice, In one book BY Jules Verne l0c.
4 ~. Hidden Perils, By Mary Cecil Hay. l0c.
,S. Barbara's History, By Amelia B. Edwards. zoe.
l9. A Terrible Temptation, By Chas Reade. l0c.
20. Old Curiosity Shop, By Charles Dickens. 20c
n. Foul Play, BY Charles Reade. lOc.
p. Man and Wife, BY Wilkie Collins. 2Oc
%. The Squire's Legacy, By Mary Cecil Hay. 20c
For sale by all Booksellers and Newsdealers, OF
sent, postage prepaid. on receipt of price by
GEORGE MUNRO. PUBIisHER
r. o. Box 5657. q, %, and 25 25Vandewater ST., NY
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-03-12

u gallon in San Francisco It's like oil -
The customer poured out liberal al
lowance, but had no sooner attempted
to swallow 1t than he began coughing
and spit out what he had taken into his
mouth. He held both hands to his
cheeks and whirled around on one heel
like dancing Dervish, then ran for the
water pitcher, and finally began cough
ing as though he would cough up his
lungs
Ough, o-ough-hoop!" coughed he.
Call that brandyY" and, doubled up
like halfopen jack-knife, he coughed
himself out of the saloon.
Again was Hugh astounded and again
he critically inspected the liquor he had
dealt out. He was finally convinced
that 1t was all right, but that the fault
was in the people something wrong
with them.
About the time he had arrived at this
conclusion man came in, and, spread
ing himself out before the bar to good
advantage, said " Have you got good
article of gin-real good, pure gin Y'
"Of course we have, never keep any
thing else. What do you take us for ?"
and Hugh reached down the gin bottle
from a shelf behind him with his left
hand, while with his right he brought
up from under the bar cooked revol-
yer, which he pointed at the head of his
customer as he placed the bottle before
him, saying, Now, you cough, d-n
you ~
That customer didn't cough.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-03-12
Pennsylvania II. II. Time Table.
NEWPORT STATION.

NEWPORT STATION.
on and after Monday, June 25th, 1877, Pas
.enger trains will run a. follows:
EAST.
Mffintown Acc. 7.32 a. M, daily except Sunday.
Johnstown Ex. 1922 P. NJ, daily g Sunday
Mail, ............ 6.d P, M, daily exceptSunday
Atlantic Express, 954P.M., iag,-daily.
WEST.
WayPass. 9.0S A. NJ, daily,
Nail, -. ....... 2.43 +. NJ. daily exceptSunday.
Mitiiintown Acc. 6.55 P. NJ. daily except Sunday.
Pittsburgh Express lisp. NJ, (Flag)-daily, ex-
cept sunday.
Pacific Express, 5.l7 a. m, daily (hag)
Trains are now run by Philadelphia tme which
is l3 minutes faster than Altoona time, and min
ntes slower than New York time.
j. j. BARCLAY, Agent.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-03-12

a. Harvest never comes to such as
sow not; and so experience will not,
unless you do what God has commanded.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-03-12
customer didn't cough.
Wanted an Even Chance

Wdntbu an EVEN Cnance,
THERE is one figure that stands our
L refreshingly cool and unique dur
ing these troublesome times. This was
John NJ. Dooly, the man who announc-
ed that he would not fight under any
circumstances. He was probably the
most brilliant man produced in that era,
prolific of giants He was the peer of
Crawford on any field, and his superior
in the forum. His abilities were trans
cendent, and his failure to make
national reputation arose doubtless from
no other cause than his refusal to fight
on any and all occasions. A non-com-
batant could not hold his head up in
those turbulent times. Dooly had the
most delicious humor, and sharp
tongue withal He was continually get
ting into trouble because of his satiracal
sayings He was perfectly fearless of
speech. Judge Gresham once threaten
ed to chastise him. Dooly replied:
" You can do so if you like. You'll
get no credit for it, however. Anybody
can do it, and great many have done
it,"
He was once knocked down by man
that he introduced as the inferior judge
of the inferior court of the inferior
county of Lincoln. He called Justify on
the spectators for help, and when res
cued from his antagonist rubbed his
head and remarked, drily:
"Well, that is the forty-second fight
have been engaged in, and if 1 ever got
the best of single one do not now re-
member it,
Poor Dooly's peace proclivities were
fully known, he was challenged to NOR
tai combat by Mr.. Tate, who came to
the field with Mr.. w. III. Crawford as
his second. Dooly accepted the chal-
lenge. Tate had lost leg and wore a
wooden one. When he and his friend
reached the field they found Dooly alone,
sitting on stump.
"Where is your friend 2" asked Craw-
ford, in some surprise.
He is in the woods, SIR
g And will be present in moment,
sir, 1 suppose ?"
eyes, as soon as he can find bee
gum"
May inquire what he wants with a
begun ?''
Why, want to put my leg in it,
DO you suppose l can afford to risk my
leg of flesh against Tate's leg of wood?
If hit his leg, he will get another to-
morrow and peg as away as usual. If
he hits mine, it may kill me or compel
me to stump it like him for the balance
of my life. No, sir; must have a gum.
Then / will be just as much wood as he
is, and we will be on equal terms.'
81 understand you, Colonel Dooly :;
you do not intend to fight"
Why, really ! Col. Crawford, Thought
everybody knew that"
Every well, sir; but remember, Colo
mel, your name in no enviable light will
fill the column of newspaper to-mOr-
row."
" / assure you, my dear sir, had
rather fill every column in every news
paper in Georgia than one coffin"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-03-12
DuNCANNON STATION.

On and after Monday, June 25th 1877, trains
willleave DuncannOn, as follows
EASTWARD.
Mifiintown Acc daily except Sunday at S.l2A. NJ
.Iohnstown Ex l25SP. M, daily except Sunday.
Nail N
Atlantic Express iO.2O,f. M, daily taag)
WESTWARD.
Way Passenger, S.3S A. M, daily
Mail, 2.09P. NJ, ............. .dailyexcep
Mffntown Acc. daily except Sunday at 6l6P.M.
Plttsburg Ex. daily except Sunday lag) ll.3SP. M.
VIM. O. KING Agent.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1878-09-05
Notice Of Foreclosure.

7 hereby give public notice, that | have a claim
BY mortgage upon the following parcel Of Land
situated IN e<ien, - the Ceuasy Of Han cock de-
serloed as follows to Wit; Beginning At the south
east corner OF the house let, occupied by Alobro
a. Ash, on Mrs. ohanuons' line; thence ON the
hne OF said house lot, easteriy eight rods to d.
L. MaIeyis line; thence by said Mareey's line
with the first line eight rods thence northerly
forty rods to the place Of beginning containing
txo acres. .
The said mortgage under ssseAI s,ain Is dat.
ed the 9Th day OF FEBRUARY, A. ID. 1877 and was
given by Alonzo A. Ash. to Leonard J. Thomas
and recorded N the HANCOCK Registyy OF Deeds,
TO me- April ~, A. d. 1871, the said assignme mt
being recorded In said Registry vol. l5s, page 81.
The condition In said mortgage has beea broken
by reason whereof claim q foreclosure of said
mortgage, and give this notice for that purpose
5. X. WHITING.
Hale Emery. Attorneys.
ELLSWORTH, Aug II, lsss 3w34
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1878-09-05
9arm ann floussboIO
Tia As-:--.:cra. s:.z::3-.

Il Is be oming more aud more plain
that for the increasing problems of tAi-
modern age, whose leading Characters
Ii, seems to he unrest. Agriculture pre-
scuts tie most sure and effective so.u-
ton. Attention j. newly directed go
the soil, remarks the New York Erf-
ming Post, "as the safest ohicc, Of labor.
Tie earth ha- not 9 habit Of going into
bankruptcy Il docs not cmlczz.c. II
does not speculate. |. does not neglect
TO pay it, debts. Il makes no rash cx-
perimuts. Il docs no; violate the laws
Of nature, or trg to pu, into their place
tie absurd notions OF drcamers, or the
vj..ainous schemes Of ra-calIy deml-
go-ucs." AL this j. >trih.n-ly true,
and men are beginning to think about
j: as they Aayc nui Leiarc in aa entire
generation. W need but to revert to
the record which shows how fat the
public lands are being occupied. TO YER
ify the assertion. And in New England
!: !, characteri.tically true that men WHO
are weary Of waiting on waning business
prospects are turning TO the land As their
surcst resort.
The reoccupation ana rehabilitation
Of New England farms j, one OF the
most hopeful symptoms Of thi, .gricul-
tural revival. Men are becoming per-
suaded that the land i after all the great
panacea for individual and social iroub-
les. They can see al this very time that
il il were not Tor agriculture the condi-
tion of the country would be greatly
different from what il j., with fewer
prospects Of relief than are now appar-
eut. |, j. this agricultural prosperity
that bears everything else up. Il i that
that gives employment 10 railroads aud
steam lines. Trade and commerce rely
on that alone. In due time it Will be
found to give life aud activity TO the
other kind, OF business, and in fact 10
industry in all il departments. The
tiliiug Of the soil is the last resource of.
the country. We are an agricultural
nation above everything ellie. We
could not today be in any sense a com
mercial nation without agriculture. The
two interests supper: one another, but
agriculture viii always be the founda-
ton one. This generation was never
more profoundly impressed with any
truth in respect to human industry
-nlSS. PioughmGn.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1878-09-05
poetrp.
Shakespeare with Variations.

Friends. Romans. countrymen. Lend me your
ears:
l will return them next saturday. come
To bury Gse.ar. because the times are hard
And his folks can't sford 10 hire an undertaken.
The evil that men DO lives after them.
In the shape Of progeny who reap the
Benefit of their life insurance.
80 let il be with the deceased.
Brutus hath told YOU Caesar was ambitious.
WHAT does Brutus know about il:
Il i none Of his funeral. Would that il were
Here under leave Of Won come to
Make a speech al CasaT's funeral.
lie wa~ my friend. faithful and just TO me;
He loaned ne five dolars once when / was In
spinch,
And signed my petition for "a p0stotli,c.
But Bruiu~ SAYS he was ambitious.
Rrutus should wipe of his chin.
Caesar hath brought many captiyes back 10
Rome.
Who broke rock on the streets until their ran
SONS
DID the general Golfers fIl.
when that the poor hath cried Cesar hath Ncli,
Because Il didn't cost ANYTHING. and
Made him solid with the masses. tChcrr,.
Ambition should b. inside Of sicrner stun.
Yet Rruius Says be was Amhtinu--
Brutu- = liar. and can prove IL.
You all lid see that on the Lupcrcal
! thrice presented him a kingly crown.
Which he did thrice refuse. because il did not
III him quite
Vas this ambitions Yet Bru,us says he was
ambitious.
Bruius Is not only the biggest liar in the coun-
try,
Bot he i, a horse-;hief Of the deepest dye.
Applause.
II YOU have tears. prepare to she'd Them now.
Laughter.
You sl DO know thi, ulster,
] remember the dr,l time ever Gear put 1t on
It was on a summer, evening IN ms tent.
Whh the thermometer registering 'od,s IN the
shade:
But it wa, an ulster to De proud Of.
And cost him seven dollar- at Marcus swartz-
meyers.
Corner Of Broad and FERRY streets. sign Of the
red flag.
Ola Swarlz wanted forty doli4r> for a..
But taally 30 me down 10 seven dollars because
u Wa Gear
Was thi- Ambuiou-' II Bru,u- -ay- Il Wa,
He j. even greater liar than Mr.. TIiton.
Look, IN This place ran Cs>siu, dagger through :
Through thu, the soH-oi-a-sun Of "a Brutg,
stabbed.
AMI when b. i.fu. kei hi, c,lr-cl stool SWAY.
Mar Antony, how the blood Of t.r-ar follow
ci
Cheers. and crjcs OF Give u something
on the Silver Bil."" Hii him again" etc.
! come not. friends, 20 stc4. away yodr hearts.
] am no thief. q Bruju- j..
Brutu> ha, a monopoly IN sill that bgslur>-.
And if hs had hi, desert, be- would he
In The peuitenti4rv. and don't YOU forget IL.
HIND friends. sweet friends, ID not wish g.
II such sudden food Of nu'iav.
AuI - it loaa> lsbf rain.
l4e Iali-tear.r, wi. please Place tLs coffin iu
Tn h.ar>e,
And w viii proceed 20 burr ,S,ar.
Not 10 praise aIn. on Gig Dsrr.r..
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1878-09-05
-onsE.!: se:.ras.

Lemon ,JeHy.-Six ounces OF sugar,
two ounces of butter, three eggs, the
rind OF one lemon, juice Of TWO.
Pound Ginger Brcqd.-Cne cup OF
butter, one cup OF moIsses, one tea
spoonful Of ginger, and one-half tea
spoonful cloves, one-half teaspoonful
soda, three cups OF -four.
Lemon .JeYy Cake.-Three cups Of
flour, two cups OF sugar, one cup of
butter, six eggs, one cup OF sweet milk,
one teaspoonful of soda, two teaspoon
luls of cream of tartar.
Cheese eiiSh.-Four ounces of flour.
four ounces OF cheese, three ounces Of
butter, salt, pepper, and little cayenne;
knead it well together, roll thin, cut in
strips like lady fingers, and bake.
Squash Griddle cakes. Two small
cups OF milk, one cup of squash, after
1t Is strained, two eggs, two teaspoon
iuls OF cream OF tartar, one small tea
~ 0Nha Oiit ttds tNJOAiul VI
melted butter. and a little -four, enough
to make the batter the proper thickness.
&ains.-if you have been picking or
handling acid fruit and have stained
your hands, wash them IN clear water.
wipe them lightly, and, while they are
yet moist, strike match and shut your
hands around it so as to catch the smoke,
and the stain will disappear.
To Preserve Plams.-Put the plums
in bottles, fill up to the neck with cold
spring water, then place the bottles in
copper or large pan, fill half full of cold
water; keep it on the fire till the water
is boiling, then let il gradually become
cold. and put the bottles away in a dry
place; they will keep good all the
winter