South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1878-05-24

put them on the wrong feet Puzzled
and ready to cry, she made answer.
'Whatll do, mamma? They's all the
feet I've got!
0'Where do potatoes come from?'
asked little five-year-old. She was told
that they grew. and the process Of plant.
ing was explained. But where did the
first one come from?' she persisted.
Her father said he didn't know. Then
she thought for few moments and broke
out with. We'll, suppose they made a
little 'tcenty' one first, and planted il;
don't you papa?' That child knows
just as much about evolution as the
wisest.
WWhen DR.. Chalmers was leaving
the pulpit Of Glasgow for the Moral
Chair of st. Andrews, his friend Saun-
ders begged of him not TO give up
preaching for teaching. Let me ask
you n question: rejoined the Doctor;
does the man who salts pig, or a man
who makes the salt that will salt many
pigs, do the greatest service The man
who makes the salt, TO be sure We'll
I've all this time been sailing the pig,
and now I'm going to make tho salt
Then the sooner you are in the salt
pan, sir, the better -Bap6a (Loalon.)
SPEAK GENTLY.--A loud boisterous
tone shows want of good breeding.
The iirst principle of politeness is To
make those about you feel pleasant. and
rude coarse manner of speaking is an
noy:ng to most persons. A good anec.
dote is related Of man, who went by
the name of "Whispering John" which
was given TO him in ridicule. People
said he talked as though he were bro't up
in mill. One cold morning he walked
into public house, and called out i'm a
laundering tone:
Good morning, landlord how are
your"
Every well, how are your
ooh, I'm well, but I'm so cold, can
hardly talk"
Just then nervous traveller who was
present ran up to the landlord, ex-
claiming Please have my horse brought
as soon as possible.
why, what is the matter?' asked the
landlord.
Nothing" replied the traveller, "on-
ly | want to get away before that man
Maps"
g'You wasn't around when they
dealt out hair, was you?" said red
haired to bald-beaded man in a rail
road car. Yes, l was there, said the
man with a skating rink on the top OF
his head II was there, but they Of
fered me handful of red, and | told
them to throw it into the coal shuttle
to kindle the fire with
GVA little girl had been absent with
her parents TO camp meeting for
two weeks. On. her return her little
playmate, Ella Day, entertained her
by showing her her new playthings. At
night little Mary, in saying her pray
ers, said: "Oh Lord, bless Ella Day.
and make her good girl, 50 can take
all her playthings away from her and
she won't want them back again !"
PATS DREAM "A son OF the Emerald
Isle was observed one morning to look
very blank and perplexed, aud a friend
asked what allied him. Pat said he had
had dream. "A good or bad onc?"
inquired his friend. Pat answered it
was little Of both. Faith. I'll tell We
| dreamed l was wild the Pope. who was
az great jintlcman as any in the dis
thrict, an he axed me would drink?
Thinks /, would y duck swim? And
seeing the craythur, an the lemons an
the sugar on the sidcboard told him I
didn't care if TUX q wee d9ap orpunch"
"CoWld or hot?" axed the Pope. Hot,
yer holiness" I replied and with that
he stepped down into the kitchen for
the biln' wather, but before he got back
/ woke straight up and now it's dis'h-
tressing me That didn't take it cowld."
IVA gentleman from Yorkshire stop.
ping at London hotel entered into con.
versation with one Of the gentlemen
staying there, asking questions about
tue sights Of tic city. After q few min
utes conversation. the latter drew his
cigar.casc, saying 70 the Torkshireman
win you take q cigar sir?' We'll
don't mind if DO was the reply. The
cigar was passed TO him, also the one
which he was smoking for the purpose
Of giving light. lie carefully placed
the cigar FIRST handed him in bis pocket
and took his knife and cut OF that end
Of The lighted one that had been in the
mouth Of bis generous friend and com
mcDccd smoking saying t. isn't often