Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1878-08-29
PaStinle.

Pastime.
A Minnesota woman has lost two
husbands by lightning. She ought
to marry a conductor.
What this land wants." said the
tramp, SIS laws that'll give every fell
low vacation all the year round"
A Utah paper remarks that the
pretty girls in the Territory do not
marry Young as much as they used
to-"
A woman postmlstress in Missouri
is said to have killed herself by over
exertion in reading all the postal
cards that came through her office.
women may not be as far sighted
in business matters, but she can see
fly speck without glasses as far as
man can smell fried onions.-Cin-
cinraati Breakfast Table.
When the nurse brought twins to a
fond husband in Paris recently, he
threw up his hands, shrugged his
shoulders and exclaimed: Every
thing has doubled during the exhibit
tion."
A subscriber wrote TO a journal to
make some inquiries about the next
worlds fair, whereupon the wicked
editor replied that he was under the
impression that the next world
wouldn't have any fair.
"Is Gov. Rice in ?" inquired a seedy-
looking man OF the clerk OF the
Brunswick, Boston, a few nights ago.
"Yes," said the clerk, "yes, he is.
well" said the man, walking out,
I'm glad OF it; it's wet night, and
he might catch cold If he was out"
Uncle Jason asked Spikes one day,
what dat engineer mean by sayin'
dat Use done most sprout into an an
iul?' "Don'taxt me-" said Spike, "ax
him." 1t was subsequently inferred
that he had done so, as he went
around the mill muttering, Oats
no sign of an angul kase a mans
ears look like wings"
The hoy stood squarely the base
Already two were out
The grin that lightened up his face
ShOne round about his snOui.
The boy he raised the ash aloft
And called for one hip-high.
The pitcher put IL in red-hot-
IL hit him In the eye.
Again the gallant youth stood up,
Determined he would scssre;
The next one hit him IN IT, stomach
He playeth ball no more.
Relatives and friends are invited to
attend without further notice.-Bos.
ton Post
The following advertisement is en-
titled to the palm for muddled Eng
lish: @If the gentleman who keeps
the shoe shop with the red head will
return the umbrella OF "a young lady
with whalebone ribs and an iron ham
die to the slate rooted grocer's shop
he Will hear OF something to his adj
vantage as the same is a gift OF de-
ceased mother now no more with the
name engraved on II"
MY son, would you like to steal
one OF those melons?" ~Yes, sir,
was the prompt reply. "You would,
Ell am sorry TO hear that. If you
should steal one OF those melons,
my boy, do you know what the result
might be?" The boy scratched his
head, surveyed the pile again and
answered: Il 'spect the plaguey
things would be green all the way
through.-Detroit Free Press.
The Albany Argus says that a
Boston woman who was remonstra-
ted with by her dentist for allowing
her teeth to become so much decayed
before having them attended to ex-
cused herself by saying that she
never found time to get them fixed.
But" he urged, at would not have
taken long. and you could have come
in almost any time" "Well,' she re-
torted, @Iguess il you had had a baby
every year for the last ten years you
would think 1t was about enough to
tend to-" He admitted 1t,