The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1878-07-13
PASSING SMILES.

THE youngster who was sent away
| from the table just as the pastry came
on went sadly up stairs singing, Good
bye, sweet tart, goodbye"
HEAD mantle phrenologist. Salt
| air diamonds-Ocean spray in morning
sunlight. Weather strips-Changing
your hannels for the season.
EDUCATION has no creative power; il
can merely unfold and direct the powers
nature confers 1t cannot make poet
Of horse, nor writer Of an ape.
A GOOD listener-En young
lady: you are fond Of music
colonelY" "Aw--yes, ! think may say
| l like-aw noise of--of any kind"
THERE is a great difference between
what an ambitious man is and what he
aspires to be--as there is also between
what vain man thinks himself and
what he is.
LOVE is deaf as we'll as blind. II it
wasn't, how could the tendrils of wo-
mans affection wind themselves about
the man who talks through his nose2
-Bredktdst Table.
The prayer with which the Rev. DR..
Moore opened the Ohio Convention be-
gan with the words, Grant, we pray
Thee" etc. Whereupon there was great
cheering for Ulysses.
MANY persons consider themselves
friendly when they are only officious;
they counsel not so much that you may
become wise, as that they may be known
as teachers of wisdom.
GA BASKET of champagneP' ex-
~, ,x,nl an ,o,,r%rxy Jo,,,a GWIu ia
clare, now, always thought champagne
was watery stuff, like; never knowed
you could carry it in basket"
"ToMMY, do you know that your
Uncle Robert has found beautiful boy
baby on his doorstep, and is going to
adopt him % Eyes, mamma, and he'll
be Uncle Rob's step son, won't heT'
A CORRESPONDENT writes from Parma:
There's always something to charm
the eye, delight the ear and stir the soul
in Italy. The Introduction of the
scrubbing brush would make it para
disc"
AN orator, who was much in demand
in political campaigns, being asked by
an admirer the secret of his success, re-
Piled, "When / have facts, give 'em
facts; but when haven't, yell and saw
the air."
PROFESSOR" Can you multiply to-
gether concrete numbersW The class
are uncertain. Professor" What will
be the product of five apples multiplied
by six potatoesY Freshman (triumph-
antly)-" HASH
IT takes more philosophy to sit down
L lu, ~
to put up with cold dinner on washday
without grumbling This item was
handed in by man who has tried both.
--BreakJast Table.
EsTHETIc tramps who recognize the
eternal fitness of things when engaged
in passing the time card-playing"
during the balmy spring months, find
nothing so much against the grain as
playing spade"
A ooxCoMB, talking Of the TRANSMIT
grafton of souls, said "In the time Of
Moses, / have no doubt was the
golden calf" every likely" replied
lady, "and time has robbed you Of
nothing but the gliding"
WHEN two boys Of family have gone
in swimming against their mothers ex-
press commands, the satisfaction Of be-
ing able to see the other fellow walled
usually operates so as to soothe the pains
of the one that got it first.
No man can go down into the dungeon
of his experience, and hold the torch Of
truth to all his dark chambers and
hidden cavities, and not come up with
shudder and chill, and an earnest cry
to heaven for mercy and cleansing.
If you are wise man you will treat
the world as the moon treats it. Show
it only one side of yourself, seldom show
yourself too much at time, and let
what you do show be calm, cool, and
polished. But look at every side OF the
world.
A CLERGYMAN, accosted by an old
acquaintance by the name of Cobb, re-
Piled: ~ don't know you, sir" "My
name is Cobb, sir" rejoined the man,
who was about half seas over. O. All
sir" said the minister, "you have 30
much corn on that / did not see the
cob"
In recent trial in England it came
out that economical band leaders were
in the habit of ringing dummy vio-
Inns" in upon the managers The
dummy violin is played with a CREASED
bow by man who knows nothing of
music, and renders no audible sound.
/ SOWING.
A wonderful thing is seed
The one thing deathless foreverl
The one thing changeess utterly true
Forever old and forever new,
And tickle and faithless never.
Plant blessings, and blessings will bloom;
Plant hate, and hate will grew;
You can SOW to-day-t0-morr0w will bring
The blossom will prove what sort of thing
Is the seed-the seed YOU SOW.
The Pickanninies at 6 Fifth Avenue =