West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-10-05
WAITS AND WnIMS

Inv ItiNon u nON ioNCN n WOOuHAM 10
because IT leaves no chips to pick up
Breakfast 1dbic.
"MY dearest little duck" he muir
INJURED. ooh, don't stuff me like that"
she archly replied
WItEN banks become unsteady even
the dcpOsitor is likely to lose his bal
ance.-Idckea0ck Republican,
DID IL ever occur To you that n gym.
mast wears spring and fall clothing at
the same time NorriStoCH HerGid.
Miss QuIGLEY, the dwarf, says that
she makes money by being small, That
thing is done i'm Romeo every day, and
no comments made cithcr-Romco Ob-
scrrcr.
How quickly youths chin will drop
if you tell him his upper lip is down.
lie wants 10 maintain Il symmetry of
features, you sec-FOHd du Lac Re
porter
UNCERrAINrY is worse than assured
calamity. Hence we always feel bad
when we see boy whrling sling with
three Dornered stone i'm it Breakfast
Table,
BY waiting until the train is fairly
flying along and then splitting out the
window YOU can ascertain wheth
those ON the three or four seats back of
you have handkerchiefs ornot.- Wheel
ing Lc1der.
You can keep bee away from
YOU 10y the use of tobacco smoke, but
bee S always i'm such confounded
hurry that he gots in his work before
you can light your cigar BreakIdst
7dbic.
a WIDOW lady named Mumm has six
children. The eldest n boy, IL named
Macmillan, and the youngest, girl, is
named Minnie. Thus one is the Max
imum and the other the Minimum
Derfer SmjtHs.
n WATERTowN mau was struck dumb
the otner day, while saving wood. Let
H hear no more now, about setting
tranps al this dangerous work. by the
way, what @ pity women can't saw wood
SyrdcU6c TGmcs
A BUFFALO physician recommends
as preventive of yellow
fever, and the BuGalonian8 who used to
sneak in the back door of saloons now
boldly walk in the front entrance -
Norrjsfown HcyaH
elk WALLS" " is authority for saying
pound. We trust hereafter that par
ticular people will not act 80 disgusted
at discovering hair i'm the butter
GowaHdo ERteyprise.
BUTLER may be pretty hard individ-
ual he may have done many things
which Justify the Odium which many
attach TO his name, but no man can come
forth and prove that he ever wrote
poems on patent medicines.-G Graphic.
Tnous'1 come then, sweet one, gontle and petite,
cooing, hmt-born babe-a heavon-aent treas
Al hearts receive you with bound Of JOY,
And beat win hope 70 bring the baby pleasure.
And make life better at It's every turn.
Fulton Times
TiE physicians say IT, is almost i'm
possible for yellow fever " be trasmit-
ted through the mails We may add it
is also impossible TO transmit your ul-
ster through the post-OiIice like love
letter. unless you arc q Congressman
Graphic.
WHEN are the clouds like Jockeys?
When they hold the rains. Why is a
sailors hand like the sky at night2 BE
cause It's tarry. Why is n darkey i'm the
bushes an aid TO n bright understand
ing? Because he is black-in brush .-
Boston BUiietiH.
a DUTcHMAN was seated in shoe
store, trying his best to get his unfairly
like foot into q number nine slipper.
Said hc 10 the clerk. Say, Mr. Clerk,
dis warm ycddcr ish shrinking up der
slippers like ter tuyfel Dond itT
Emir0 G0zcffc
TIE departing summer sojourner at
Newport. or Long Branch, now turns
with n last look 40 The glorious surf, the
grand hotel the biz bill, the many fees,
the polite landlord the persistent
walters, and sighs
when can their glory fade7
Oh. the wild charge they made
-Hqutord Times.
MEMORY and hope are set like stars
above the sOul-thc one shining dimly
through the twilight of the past, the
other lighting the archway of the fu-
ture" You never realize this 80 fully
as when late ut night, iu q strange city,
you forget the number Of the house at
which you are residing. Puck.
lv Europe and America during the
past month fully 10000 people are
known to have perished by the sword.
/ by flood by fever and by railway, coal
mine and steamboat disasters Nearly
/ 1000 have died Of fever in the South,
/ 600 in the Thames steamship collision,
I 400 by the great food at Miskolez. Hun
/ gary, 2SO by the coal mine explosion in
| South Wales, 100 by several railway ac-
cidents in Great Britain, 100 by lake,
/ railway, and other casualties i'm this
/ country, and some 1000 by engagements
/ between Austrians Bosnians, Turks and
! Albanians.-J Utica Hcrald