, 1878-03-30

Woodward avenue, having jug
in his hand, and he said to one
Of the clerks:
ri want two pounds OF nails
and"
Next door," replied the
clerk
The farmer entered the next
door, placed his jug on the coun-
ter, and said:
III want a gallon of molasses
and"
"Next door," said the propri-
etor, motioning toffrd the groc-
cry.
The farmer looked at him for
a minute, and then went out and
re-entered the other store again.
As the clerk came forward again
the man with the jug remarked
"Why in blazes couldn't you
have told me in the first place
that l could get the molasses in
here and the nails next door?
What's the use of being so
mighty high-toned about moth
ing.-Detroit Free Press.
A man in Nebraska has pat
ented a new, powerful double
acting salve, which shows power
never before exhibited by salves
OF any kind. The inventor acci-
dentally cut off the tall of tame
wolf, and Immediately applying
some of the salve to the stump
a new tail grew out. Then
picking up the old tail, he ap-
piled some salve to the raw end
of that and a wolf grew out; but
he was a wild wolf, and had to
be shot.
A young man in an Austin. New, barr
ber shop, was particular about having
his moustache nicely perfumed. $50
ing to call on young lady, I suppose?"
the barber asked. The young man with
much dignity replied: "See here. my
frierd, do you suppose I put perfumery
on my moustache because I'm going to
see a mau. or boy, or an old woman.
or baby in arms? Do men gather
grapes of thorns or figs of thistles?"
Midhat Pasha. though mild of man.
ner, is evidently practical man. At
Mrs. Bosthwick's reception in London,
a gentleman recently returned from
Turkey, who had heard there that Su-
LEHMAN Pasha was protege of Midhat's
asked whether he was not we'll acquaint-
ed with Suleiman Pasha. Midhat pom
dered q moment, and then replied, "Yes.
knew Suleiman Pasha very we'll. If I
had been Grand Vizier certainly would
have shot him.
Gen. Comfy must be improving in
health. His constitution was so broken
down when Hayes appointed him Min>
lister to the Sandwich Islands that he
was compelled TO stay in this country
several months - on full pay--to recruit.
Now that he has reached his post, how
ever. be writes back that about all he
has 10 do is to call on the Secretary of
Stale for Foreign Affairs and take
drink.
A recent curiosity Of suicide
was the attempt OF bride to
drown herself in Detroit. She
and her husband were on a hon.
eymoon journey. In railroad
station he petted little child,
and conversed with it's mother;
whereat the young wife became
absurdly jealous, went to the
river, and tried to jump in.
The Collins Brothers, Of Phil
adelphla, the contractors for
Brazilian railroad, and the firm
that sent out the ill-fated Me-
tropolls, desired to employ ne
groes on part of the work;
but an old law forbade the land
ing of negroes in Brazil, and
special permit has just been OBJ
tained from Dom Pedro
Two Holyoke women gave
birth to three babies each on the
same day. One of the fathers
is described as being Gas much
set up as a country store;;" but
the other declared that the
triplets were ''too darned much
of a good thing"
Gamma, dear, if 1 should at
tempt to spell Cupid why
could l not get beyond the first
syllable?" Anna gave it up;
whereupon William SAID, "Be-
cause when I come to u, of
course l can't 60 farther"
A Mrs. Lincoln, of Boston,
keeps a pet African lion and
a lioness, each weighing over
two hundred pounds and roam
ing the house with freedom.
The lioness occupies the same
bed with the lady.
It is q gloomy illustration of the
puny struggles Of humanity against
fate that tho ice harvested by the