The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1878-12-18

BLUEBEARD was locksmith and belle hang
| er.-New York Mail.
To BE or not to be an attorney general, that
is the observation-disclosures. 81
Song of the dry goods clerk-"Swlnging in
delain. "-Satur6 ay Night.
ALL the signers of the declaration of indie
pendence signed their names with quill pens
except one-he signed his Witherspoon.-Bos-
ton Journal of Commerce.
WE acknowledge the receipt of two new
pieces of sacred music. "Fold your arms
around me tighter" and "See that my grave is
not robbed, Boston Post.
"wHAT will you take for ten nights?" tele-
graphed San Francisco manager to Artemus
Ward. Brandy and sugar." was the answer
Louisville Courier. Journal.
THE days are close at hand when 1t is cheap
er for the young man TO pick quarrel with
his girl than buy her Christmas present.
Philadelphia Chronicle Herald.
FROM now till Christmas the women of the
world will make a desperate effort to prove
that all men who say they can't keep a secret
are liars.-Fond du Lac Reporter.
SOUTH AFRICAN proof readers die young.
The last one succumbed to the description of a
fight between the UnabeliniJiji and Amaswa-
zlezizi tribes.-New York Commercial.
take an oath of allegiance to his mother-in-
law. But that is what the marquis of Lorne
did when he became governor general of
Canada.
EITHER marry me or die, said Mr.. Bisbee,
Of New York, to Miss Hunt. She married him,
and thus, says the Philadelphia Chronicle,
did woman's foolishness cheat the undertsker
odt of ajob.
AT sale of antique wares in New York an
old paddock that Noah used on one of the sky
lights of the ark was withdrawn because the
audience were not satisfied of its genaine-s
ness.-BoSton Post.
THERE is one comfort about winter, observ-
ed the Toledo Commercial. Even If a man has
to shiver in the piercing wind without an Ill
ster, his whole frame glows with satisfaction
as he reflects that the poultry man can't pass
a counterfeit spring chicken on him.
THE man who wanted to have Beautiful
Snow" printed, so that he could paste few
copies in his scrap book, got here Tuesday
We did not expect him for some days yet, but
he is buried in the poets corner of Simpsons
alley, just the same-Stillwater Lumberman.
BAD young man of Pleasant street told his
grandmother, whose memory is little lame
that the end of winter was almost here. He
neglected to state which end, and the good old
soul now relates, as her most remarkable ex-
perience, a winter without frost or snow
Rockland Courier.
FIRST class In naturalization many carats
In a yard? How many scruples make one
rood? How many rods make an acher? How
many nails in two feet? How many drachms
make a hogshead? How many grains in one
mill? How many mills make a cent?-and
how many donr?-Utica Observer.
THE lover of the period is gradually improv-
ing. He no longer shoots his sweetheart, but
If shooting is absolutely necessary, and it
generally is-shoots himself or his sweethearts
papa Presently he will destroy himself only,
for his course is onward and upward, and then
the world may hope to have more or less
peace.-Buffalo Express.
A BRIDGEPORT man stopped his paper last
week because it didn't contain a sure cure for
dyspepsia, as usual. The infallible remedy
for consumption was there all right, but by
some accident the dyspepsia cure was left out.
He was awfully indignant, and said he was IS
years old, and had never known a paper to
fail that way before.-B Bridgeport Standard.
AT a social party in Eureka gallant doctor
found patient that he couldn't cure. A lady
seated by his side requested him to pass the
sugar. "You don't need any sugar" he re-
sponded, "you are sweet enough" "Beg your
pardon. DOCTOR" she replied, "but soft soap
isn't as good as sugar for sweetening tea" and
the doctor didn't see any way out of it, not
even by path -ology.-Eureka Leader.