The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1878-06-18
COMICALITIES


charming familiarity of Americans"
MERRNAC has five clergyman, not
one married. Singular.
A TEXAS editor asks for vegetables in.
lieu Of spring poetry.--Picayune.
ACORN in the woods is worth ten on.
the feet.-Keokuk Constitution.
"MoNEY," says the Boone Democrat,
els the missing link between our sub,
scribers and the editor.
You cannot always tell by the way a
person dresses whether his pew is paid
for.-Danbuay Nevs.
The watermelon is not yet; but the
pungent radish occasionally scoops in
small and dyspeptic victim.-Puck.
A CONsUMPTIyE wants to know if the
Pullmanairy cars are really good for
lung journeys.
IT doesn't necessarily follow that
hen-pecked husband is rooster. More
likely to be goose.
PEOPLE who attempt to cut boarding
house pie crust with fork should re-
member that time thrown away can
never be regained. City Derrick.
THE prayer of the Norman might suit
the spirit of our own time 1t was
"Kind heaven, I do not ask for wealth;
only to be placed within arms length of
some man who has it."
A YOUNG man suffering from heredi-
tary gout' said he didn't mind the pain
of it so much, "but," said he, "the
thought that some old ancestor had all
the fun of acquiring this precious heir
loom is what takes hold of me-"
CIRCUsEs are little backward this
season. Only five Of them are the "big-
gest show on EARTH" Each of the other
Six is simply t the most complete aggre-
CATION on the road."- Norristown Herald.
ARTISTRY You carried my picture to
the exposition and handed it over to the
managers" Porter" Yes, your honor.
It pleased them. Lord, how they
laughed" --Pmis Journal.
WHEN the royal baby of Brazil cries
his nurse remarks, in pure Castillian,
"Now, you LUZ Maria Philippe de Al
cantara Gastao Miguel Raphael Gonzaga,
you just keep quiet"
WIDOW DoUBLEToN, having read that
"parlor matches" are extremely danger
Gus, has ordered her daughter to take
her beau into the kitchen and do her
counting there Observation-Disclosures
Herald.
A CHINAMAN never gets too old for
kite flying, but when you try to improve
his mind with base ball, he impulsively
hugs his abdomen, screws down his eye,
and says: "Me no can see."
WHITELAw REDS new $4,000 resi-
dence will be provided with range cost
ing over $500. This is to keep him in
hot water the year round.--DetroH Free
Press.
THE discouraged collector again pre-
sented that little matter. Well" says
his friend, "you are round again"
eyes, says the fellow with the account
in his hand, "but | want to get square"
THE fearfully longpedigree of Sir Will
liam Watkin Wynne is posted up on the
walls Of small chapel in Wales, and
wicked tourist who lately came across
it wrote in the middle of the pedigree,
"Here was the creation of the world"
SOME one has discovered that there is
actually law in force which permits
money 70 be carried as baggage. Since
this is the case we may travel considera-
bly, this year. 1t was the supposed alb
sence of such law that kept us at home
so much.-Norristown Herald.
You can't plant cats two early nor is
it possible to get too many in a hill
You may not raise anything else that
season where the cat is planted, but in
the meantime the cat would not have
raised anything either, and that's where
the enormous profit comes in.
A TUTOR of college. lecturing a
young man on his irregular conduct,
added with great pathos, "The report of
your vices will bring your fathers gray
hairs with sorrow to the grave" "I
beg your pardon, sir, replied the pupil
"my father wears wig
Two wealthy wood carvers in Massa-
chusetts have founded home for desti-
tute members of the craft. Why don't
some of our wealthy poets found home
for destitute poets? This could be done
by roofing in one or two continents
Dan6,uy News.
The inventor of the phonograph says
the speeches of our congressman can be
preserved in tin foil and ground ut for
the delectation of future ages. It is 60
ing to be very unhealthy for the man
who does the grinding out one hundred
| years hence.-Norr. Herald.
FIRST law pill" Cad, Jones, a most
curious question has arisen lately.
There's a man in Newton, and the laws
} such that they can't bury him!" Sec
ond law pill earnestly livery as
founding, to be sure! Why, how on
earth can that be?" First law pill (de
risively) FtWhy. he isn't dead yet! "
IN the spring the maidens fancy
| Turns to thoughts of making hay
j With matrimonial view, she
Flirteth much and plays croquet.
J Bat the young man does not tumble,
| A l.