davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1878-08-08
THAT BOY.

ON THE FOURTH OF JULY.
Up-well, at midnight, Pm tempted to say
Anyway, hours before break of day;
Waking the house with the fearsome dong
yong"
He can evolve from that old Chinese gong.
aOh day most unmercifulp' frantic, cry,
Uhl it's that boy. And it's Fourth of July!''
Tixz zippl Che-bangli ere one catches ones
"Good sensesl Must l be frightened to
death?'
Tir- ra- ra tat at tat rat plan planli
Three packs Of " pop crackers under q pan
"What will the neighbors Think" wildly
"Think it's that boy keeping Fourth of july"
Mercy upon us! There goes that old fife.
Never did see such a boy in my life.
PH"Yankee Doodle'' him, Hark to those
cheers
Bless me! a body can't hear her own ears.
Harry! come here to me- shrilly cry
| IN teach you how to keep Fourth of JuIy.,
Where is my slipper? I'll stop this, some
how,
Think sIIj i Fl put up with such a row de dow
There he goes, roaring The Red, White and
Blue"
Ny. if only could find that old shoe,
Crack! crack! ker pop!i Faint with terror
Icry,
There II am killed with this Fourth of july"
Just torpedo I've crushed with my heel?"
"Noneed to stamp so hard?' Much pou can
feel
For weak woman's nerves narrowed up in
this way.
! do suppose you'H enjoy this all day
A-a-h! what a smell! | shall stifle and die
Yet, with that boy and his Fourth of July.
ALI the long day goes with clatter and bang;
Night falls, but only to treble the clang
somewhere, towards midnight, that boy bed
ward comes,
Blstered and burned as to fingers and
thumbs
yet, ere he "drops off, perversely he cries.
Wish all the days could be Fourth of JuIys p,
Nary Z. c. Wgets, in YOUTHS Companion.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1878-08-08
A Successful Ruse.

A ssmalingerer' in the British serv-
ice is one who pretends to be sick to
escape duty or punishment, and very
good specimen was developed recently
in the Wiltshire assizes. Charles Neale
had stolen horse, and a long term of
penal servitude was in prospect. The
next morning after his arrest, Neale was
found on the floor unable to move, and
he said that he had injured his spine by
fall. Nine weeks on the savory and
nutritious diet of the infirmary made
him fat and rosy, but still his spinal
paralysis continued. The helpless GRIM
inal was carried into court on pallet
and pleaded guilty, the sympathy for
the sufferer being so great that even the
Judge was moved by it to sentence him
to but II months imprisonment. It
happened, after sentence had been pass
! ed, that the Deputy Governor OF the
Gloucester jail, whose testimony had
been made unnecessary BY the prison
er's plea of guilty, was taken over the
prison by his brother officer. He saw
Neale and recognized him as an old
maIingerer, but as the prison officials
would not believe that he was sham
ming, an electric battery was called into
play. Neale bore its pain as long as he
could, but finally his leg began to twitch,
and when its full strength was turned
on he jumped up as agile as an acrobat
and walked across the prison yard to
get his clothes. His adroitness, how
ever, had already secured him lenien1
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1878-08-08
WIDDER PLIN'.
A Yankee Character Sketch.

When Pliny Fowler departed from
this here world o. mis'ry and wicked
ness" as he called it, he left behind
MN two-treasures shall we sayP Ger
.@lnly one was such, while the other
MS own words shall tell the tale: "The
pesky critters regular drive" But the
PRIDE OF his heart was a magnificent
piece OF meadow-land averaging three
IONS OF grass to the acre. He regretted
saat ne could not take it with him to
snat bourne from which no traveller re-
.arns, and sorely begrudged it to the
"pesky critter " into whose hands it
would surely fall, there being no one
slse to whom he could leave it. But
.nere was no help for it, so one day, af-
vi a lew weeks of sickness, he dreami-
y watched the flies buzzing about the
.ooni lor an hour Or two, and then
ss.opped breathing, his wife meanwhile
uolng up the ''front room' lace curtains.
aalch were the pride of her heart, that
.ney might be 'spic-span clean fur the
,Ma.lefai. nun seein' they'd hev ter be one.n
.s aaen she went into the bedroom to see
aaa ! ns wanted any thing, and found him
asau, she started a little, muttering:
m wen, snumb for It, eff he amt gone!"
. linen she went to the pantry, and took
.so large old-fashioned coppers from
sas sas 'ea-cup kept for ''emptins pennies"
sI aau remarking to herself that she'd
0on asaVin' on 'em fur week back
purpase," she carried them to the
sr. ~ ana placed them on her husbands
sr yrealds. When that had been accom-
H. ansneo T.: 10 her liking, she Strengthened
~, lao nmos, smoothed the bed d.clothes.
as SoAeo carefully under the bed and the
.ha. he@fef' to see that the cat was not
for r,s' snns0 smut the doors quietly, and went
on, eSa .pme ,b OF the neighbors to help s'lay
p;as er Inc funeral was over, Widder
,ra IN as she began to be called. lived
br bSsllquilly for time undisturbed except
sisere,, ere calls of the village gossips. She
a ssyaseasly ~ superintendent the harvesting
nasn 0 customary grass crop, and was
bss.h b.h Pleased to see that it was even
~ ,hsn usnat. Her {. garden sass y
ssaa s.aeu uhder her treatment, and the
sss, aussso crop was by far the best of anv
q sS - The neighborhood.
nov. WOO reason fort, too" sneered her
~ door neighbor, "p'tater. .huos
Eonst Ea.t saour on hers you might saw.
'va NJ. stay nigh her."
hihder Pin wasn't a vixen if she
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1878-08-08
BELLEVUE, La, THURSDAY AUGUST s. 1873

ton with the agility of lawyer, and
said, drawing still closer: Widow, it
is pleasant place. I've been coming
here off and on for quite spell, and it's
about time we should come to an under
standing"
"Well!" said the widow, slowly Bit
ing off her thread and folding her work.
81 think it's bout time we come to an
understandin' too. I've been think
in so ever sense ye began ter Gomez
This is the account she gave Miss
Frisbee the next morning.
"Then that there fule Ludelow want
ed me ter 60 ter Ballville an keep his
house for nothin'! Ter 60 ter Ballville
an not get cent fur workin' all the
rest O. my life! An sez to him, sez
'Ballville be darned! l won't do it,
sez l, 'Mr. Ludelow, yew kin go hum
ter Ballville an stay ter Ballville, till ye
kin find some fule woman ter keep yer
house fur nuthin', Ooa't' He want
ed me not only ter dew his work, but
take care o. that son o. hisn that wants
a slice o. my prop'ty. No! An the
sons older than be. Then I pinted
tew his hat an told him he'd better git
back ter Ballville fore twas time ter un-
chain my dog fur the night, ur he'd hev
ter spend suthin' gittin' his trouzis
mended, seein' he hedn't no woman
bout his house tn work for nothin'.
An he went! The idee o. these here
men thinkin' wimmin III jump at the
chance ter catch hold o. their coat tails
an be drug home acrost lots! While l
hev my senses I'll take care o. myself,
an when | lose 'em l kin go to the
poor-house. But l won't hev no man. -
Springfield Republican.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1878-08-08
THE Duke Of St. Albans, hereditary

The Duke of St. Albans, hereditary
grand falconer of England, is great
goose-breeder and employs a large num-
Der Of gosherds to tend the birds on his
estates. He recently presided at the
payment Of his laborers, and when
Simon Bluff, boy of 10 years, was
called up to receive his weeks wages of
Is pence as gosherd, he refused to take
the money. On being asked the reason
for refusing, he replied, "Why, cause
all the geese on Monday morning flied
away, ahd how could take money for
looking arter birds when there was no
birds to look arterP" This reply SO i'm
pressed the Duke that he at once sent in
his resignation as sinecurist falconer,
even refusing to take the current quar-
ter's salary,
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1878-08-08
PITH AND POINT.

THE hen was the first to set the ex-
ample of laying up something for .
rainy day.
If Noah counted all the animals that
went into the ark, weren't they certain
ly of Noah count.
If heat is mode of motion, why
doesn't Mr.. Edison invent a machine to
utilize this heat by turning it into about
thousand million quintillian horse
power?''-Graphic.
MAN spends about half his time in
searching for the road to happiness, and
when he finds it it proves to be of the
corduroy variety, and terribly out Of re-
pair.
THERE may be nothingi in name, but
initials are ominous. The initials Of
Mr.. Dodd, of Iowa, are D. A. D., and
his wife has just presented him with o
twenty second little Dodd.
A FARMER in Warren County writes
to us inquiring what he should get for
kicking cows. You ought to get five
years in the Penitentiary if you kick
them every milking time.-Saturday
Night.
WHEN a bridegroom finds all the
clothes he owns in the world hung one
over the other ON a hook behind the
pantry-door, he realizes for the first time
that the honeymoon is over.-A's-
dreaUs's Bazaar.
WHEN young people play croquet in
the dark it is hard to tell whether it is
light tap Of the mallet or q heavy con-
cussion of the lips that comes hurting on
the evening stillness.-Rochester EG-
press.
"WHY," asks housewife, "does
pork shrink in the cookipgp" Woman,
avaunt! We are too busy trying to find
out why it shrinks in the smoke-house
to answer such trivial question.
kuk Constitution.
"PA, did you ever see the axis of the
earthp'' No, my son." "Why, pa,
amt the axes we chop wood with the
axes of the earth?' ssSmart boy! Did
you hatchet out of your own headp'-
Breakfast Table.
"WERE you ever shot?" asked the
old lady, dusting her glasses and taking
good look at the soldier. "No,
never was exactly" said the boozy war
rior, "but I've been half shot good
many times. ."--Breakfast Table.
AN editor is described as man who
is liable to errors in grammar, tooth
ache, typographical errors and lapses
of memory, and has several thousand
people watching to catch him tripping
"a man of sorrow and acquainted with
grief, poorly clad, poorly estimated,
yet envied by some Of the great men he
has made.
A BASEBALL nine made up of Chi
nese lads who are getting their educa
ton in this country played match at
Hartford, Conn last Thursday. The
following were the names of the players,
with their positions: Chung, catcher;
Kee Yung, short stop; Tsai, first base;
Slang, pitcher; Wong, right field;
Kwang, left field; Chin, third base;
Cheong, second base; Woo, center field.
THE Popular Science Monthly proves
that death by hanging is painless. That
would be well enough if the hanging
could strike man like lightning, be-
fore he knew it was coming. 1t is stand
ing there waiting for the thing to come
to focus that makes it unpleasant.
That is, we suppose 50. Ours has been
very quiet, uneventful life; we were
never hanged, and in fact haven't had
much exciting experience of any kind.
-HaWEeye.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1878-08-08
A Strange Death from Apparent Hydro.
phObia.

The Paris correspondent of the Lon
don Neaos says: A frightful death, at
tributed, and prima facie rightly, to hy-
drophobia, has befallen young, amia-
BILE and accomplished gentleman, who
seemed entering on life with the world
at his feet. M. Cheri Montigny,
son of M. Montigny, manager
of the Gymnase Theater, and the in
comparable actress, Rose Cheri, who, 81
years ago, sacrificed her own life and
saved that of her infant by sucking his
neck when he was attacked with Group,
has died in terrible agony after the bite
of dog. He lived with his father in a
handsome villa with large garden, at
No. IS Rue de la Pompe, Passy. A play
of his, Une lnnocente,' was in the
bills for performance this week. M.
Montigny, 20 years old, was about to
make over the theater to him. A fort.
night ago NJ. Cheri Montigny. coming
home late, received, as usual, a deep
mouthed welcome from two pet dogs in
the coach-yard, one Danish coach
dog, the other large terrier. He was
wont to encourage them to bark and
jump upon him. On this occasion the
terrier, pushing his caresses only a lit
tie farther than usual, slightly bit his
nose. He perceived little blood, and,
on going to bed, wiped his face, and
thought no more of it. Next morning
it was ascertained that the dog had bit
ten several other dogs, and he was
taken to avetrinary surgeon, who did not
suspect hydrophobia, but reported his
death, which took place in three days,
from internal inflammation. M. Cheri
Montigny became uneasy. He conceal
ed the matter from his father, but
bought several medical books, and
awaited with anxiety the fifteenth day,
when he read that hydrophobia would
declare itself. Last Wednesday he
dined with Nine. Judic, looked well and
gay, spoke of the dog biting him, but
showed no uneasiness. On Thursday
he went to the review, and returned with
headache and fever. Next day he was
treated for sunstroke, but on Saturday
he said he knew that he was going mad,
asked an old servant to kiss him for the
last time, begged to have straight
waistcoat put on, that he might harm
no one, and died soon after in terrible
contortions. 1t is very remarkable that
he had no symptom of illness before the
review, and the question arises whether
his imagination, acting on brain dis
ordered by sunstroke, did not make him
fancy he had the hydrophobia. There
is no report Of mad dogs at Passy, and
nothing is said about the Danish COM
panion of the terrier. The France, in.
deed, reports that a groom, who was
also bitten, is at deaths door, but this
is not confirmed by the latest papers.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1878-03-14

A correspondent of the Times, relating the
story of defalcation in ST. Helena, draws
painful picture of the gradual decay of the
island. 1t has been ruined by the Suez Canal
by the use of steam condensers, and by the
improvement in the speed of ships travelling
between Europe and India. The shipmasters
now want nothing, and the revenue, chiefly
derived from customs duty, has sunk to
s13,615. The establishments have been cut
down TO 60, 629, the troops of the line have
been withdrawn, and one-fourth of the whole
population has emigrated, chiefly to the Cape,
while the remainder have been reduced to
the greatest straits. There are now only
1851 males left in the island, of whom l, 154
are children. 1t is probable that the decline
will extend much further, for the cultivatop
have now no motive for remaining, and it is
difficult to see what government could do for
the island, unless, indeed, it could induce the
people to try some new culture. Some very
fine species of tobacco, the cinchona plant,
the opium-yielding poppy, or rose that
would yield oil might give the island an arti-
Gle of export, and so bring back part OF its
prosperity. A few hundred pounds judi
ciously expended ON an anexperimentof thissort
might do more for it than any imperial grant
the local Treasury is likely to obtain, and the
means of making the experiments could
readily be found at the India office.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1878-03-14
No. II
Helena Montana Thursday, March II, 1873

President pro tenn of the Senate, making him
for the time, Vice President OF the United
States. At the impeachment trial which fol-
lowed, Wade came within one vote-that
which defeated the impeachment proceed
ings-of becoming President OF the Re-
public, through Johnsons misdemeanors.
In 1875 the ex-senator participated in
THE OHIO STATE CANVAS,
was leading delegate to the National Re-
publican Convention in 1876, and one OF the
Presidential electors, being afterward chosen
TO convey the State electoral vote to Washing
ton. He was Governor Director of the Union
Pacific Railroad and attorney for the Nor
thern Pacific railroad after leaving Congress.
Whatever faults have been ascribed to
Wade by his enemies, no one has ever ac-
cused him of doing dishonorable act, or
obtaining money by unwarrantable means.
It is related that a man once indirectly or
fered him bribe if he would perform GER
tain deed as legal adviser.
Wades head sank on his breast, and ne
seemed thunder struck. AT length he man
aged to articulate, in deeply humiliated tone
of voice, ''Let me ask you, sir, what you
have observed about me that induces you to-
believe that would do this thing?"
He informed friend, to whom he confded
the story, that he would have liked to have
kicked the scoundrel out of doors, but he felt
too degraded himself, by having the evil propo-
sition advanced to him, to even approach the
fellow with his boot.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1878-03-14
Nasby Moves for II Leather Dollar.
from the Toledo Blade. ]


Wat the Corners want and wat the Corners
must hev, is medium which is more easily
procoored than silver. The remonetizashun
NV silver wood help out the bonanza men, and
them ez hev suthin on wich they kin git sill
yer at the discount it will 60 to, but that don t
do us here in the Corners. For while wus
advocatin the Silver Bill the other day, and
urgin that it wood enable US to pay off our
debts at discount, Joe Bigler kun up, and
sed he:
s'But, Parson, spose you Good pay off at
70 cents on the dollar with silver, wher are
you goin' to git the rs cents p
That remark Nv his opened to me wide
field ov conjectur. Silver won't do for US,
for it has some intrinsic valyoo. The debtor
class wants to be relieved in holez@pOt in
part. We want crl1rency wichss5 5svalea-
BILE to the meanest as well as the noblest. l
sejest leather! Do heer carper say that
other countries won't take leather currency !?
Wat do we, wich are in debt, care about 9TH
er countries? My deelins hev never been in
forrin countries. deel prinsipally with
Bascom, and eff I can hev currency which
will pay him, l don't care for much else.
Wat l want is suthin that will stimoolate
trade here and let me out. That done, every
thing is done so fur as am concerned, and
wat do keer for anything else Nothin.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1878-03-14
rEa;UMSEH SWEARS.
He Gets Mad Over the New Army Bill
and Strikes Out at the congressman.
washington Special, 30th.


Gen. Sherman is very much agitated in
mind over the threatened legislation upon the
subject of the army In an interview to-day
he talked as follows: \
lit is the damnedest piece of nonsense,
and the damnedest piece of Stiffness" said
be. ANY pack of damned fools, or any
one damned fool can sometimes destroy an
army. but it takes the intelligence of Satan
to create one. l look upon it as the damned
est piece of idiocy of the age
do you think it will pass?"
''Pass? No. Congressman are not all
damned fools. But if they pass that bill
they certainly are. If such course We're
proposed in time of war, they would be
whipped before daylight. In time of peace
it NAV do, but how are we to take care of the
thousands of miles of road and border with
a reduced army force?"
"What do you think of the plan to compee!
army officers to wear their uniforms on all
occasions, General ?"
ssIn bar rooms and among Congressman
they should wear citizens dress; but in gar
rison and among gentlemen, sir, they should
wear the uniforms of officers and gentlemen.
Understand me, sir, they should not wear
| their uniforms among Congressman and in
bar rooms, but among gentlemen they should
wear their uniforms"
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1878-03-14

An elaborate series of measurements Of
human legs has been made by Or. j. S.
Wright, of Brooklyn. In the proceedings
of Kings County liedical Society, the results
of the Investigation are very fully given. 1t
appears probable that not over one person in
three has legs OF equal length, and that there
are about twice as many left legs as right
legs of extra length. The average superiority
of one leg over the other is about quarter
of All inch. The inquiry arose from dis
cussion as to the amount that a limb may be
expected to shorten after treatment for frac-
ture of the thigh. The conclusion is, that
the average inequality of the limbs after
good treatment for such fracture, is about
three-fourths of an inch. 1t is not clear how
to utilize moral which DR.. Wight draws
from his observations that it is better to
break the left then the right thigh; but read
ers who propose to break their legs should
take this fact into consideration.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1878-03-14
A Kentucky Meth uSelah.

Having recently paid visit to Grahamton
and vicinity, had occasion to meet William
Blankinship, one among the Oldest if not
oldest citizen in the State, and perhaps few
items concerning him may be of interest to
many readers. He was born in Franklin,
Virginia, in 1865, and came to this State
with Berry Wright about Is years ago. He
has been married three times-his youngest
child being now only five years old-and says
If he should lose his wife he would marry
again. He has never been sick a day, and
scarcely knows what pain is. He is now
able to chop with an ak, and says he could
make his living that way. Though unedu-
Gated, his mind seems very active and strong.
He says he remembers General George Wash
ington-we never thought to ask him about
the hatchet story-very well, Us also some OF
the battles fought. His recollections of early
life seem more distinct than of recent events.
His own story of his age is corroberated by
old citizens, who say that he must be at least
115 years old. If Kentucky has an older
man she certainly has none more vigorous at
his age.-Corr. Meade Record.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1878-03-14
An AnecdOte of Lincoln.

From Noah Brooks "Reminiscences Of Lincoln" in
March Scribner.]
While the ceremonies of the second in
auguration were in progress, just as Lincoln
stepped forward to take the oath of office,
the sun, which had been obscured by rain
clouds, burst forth in splendor. In conver.
sation, next day, the President asked, Ibid
you notice that sunburst? 1t made my heart
jump" Later in the month, Miss Anna
Dickinson in lecture delivered in the hall of
the House of Representatives, eloquently al
luded to the sunburst as happy omen. The
President sat directly in front OF the speaker.
and from the reporters gallery, behind her, l
had caught his eye, soon after he sat down.
When Miss Dickinson referred to the sun
beam, he looked up to me involuntarily, an4
thought his eyes were suffused with mOis-
ture Perhaps they were, but next day he
said, Il wonder if Miss Dickinson saw me
wink at you ?"