The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-03-21
How to Catch a LunAtic.

Years ago, when I was a youngster,
] became an assistant Of DR.. b., the
superintendent Of q public insane
asylum-ln what town 1t does not mat
ter; the location don't affect the nara
live In the least.
As in all insane asylums, some OF u
patients were docile and tractable, and
had the freedom Of the house and high
walled garden, while others, being ylo-
lent and dangerous In their madness,
were confined TO their rooms.
Sometimes one Of these last-named
gentlemen would get loose, a fact which
he Immediately announced by breaking
things generally-upon which an
nouncement the doctor would repair to
the spot at which lie was " ~elevating
the ancient Henry" and, advancing
upon him, with a steadfast gaze, would
fascinate him, as a black snake does q
eatbird, and march him of to his room
~instanter. The doctors eye was never
known to fail ; and he impaired such a
portion of his literally charming quail
tiles to my feIlow-assistant and myself,
that we were able to master any ordinary
maniac, although the doctor himself
had TO attend TO the " tough customers.
We had one lunatlc by the name Of
Smith, as tall as Tom Hyer and as
strong as an ostrich, besides being
possessed of as strong digestive powers
as that interesting bird, for he once got
loose and swallowed so many cents that
he ratified when he walked, yet he
showed no injurious effects from the
meal,
He had broken out of his room two
or three times, but had always gone bach
very docilely when any Of us made u
appearance.
Tn e asylum had saloon In the centre
with a door at each end; and one of
these doors required fixing once upon a
time, a carpenter was engaged upon it,
when in trundled Mr.. Smith and quietly
possessed himself of a long, sharp chisel.
When the carpenter looked around, the
mailman gave a grin and a poke of the
chisel at him; whereupon the terrified
man Of chips scuttled out and locked
the door-then, while the enemy was
battering away at it, he rushed around
and locked the door at the other
end.
Having thus Gagged the ostrich, he
gave the alarm; and l, %supposing that
1t was an ordinary case which l could
control, unlocked the door and entered
boldly, whereupon he made a rush at
me, and | incontinently bolted.
The doctor was sent for. He came,
and, after reconnoiteling through the
keyhole, and ascertaining that the ene-
my was at the other end of the room,
he opened the door, and saw at once
that his eye would fail him in this emer-
gency.
Here was apparently a dilemma.
Here was certainly a problem. Giuen:
A crazy individual, strong as a bull,
perfectly uncomfortable, and armed
with a deadly weapon. Required: How
to catch him.
To capture him by force was a diff.
cult and dangerous undertaking, and
TO starve him out would be a tedious
affair.
But the doctor did not hesitate for a
moment.
Alfred" said he, ego down into
the surgery, fill the largest syringe with
hartshorn, and bring 1t up.
caught the idea, rushed down, and
brought back a quart syringe filled with
Observation-Disclosures didn't wantto
kill the man.
Then the doctor, Jones, and myself.
formed an army of invasion. We threw
open the door, and entered in the follow.
Ing battle array:
/, being shortest of the three, march
ed first, holding a chair In front of me
by the back, SO that the legs might keep
of a rush If u pop.gun flashed in the
pan. Then Jones, with the syringe
resting on my shoulder like a piece of
flying artillery.
Finally, In the rear, In the safest
place, like all great generals came DR..
b.
The lunatie sat at the other end Of
the hall on a chair, cycling us keenly
n Savagely. Slowly, very slowly,
we advanced toward him. 1t seemed to
that we were seven miles apart,
from the length of time 1t took to
approach him. The nearer we got, the
more wicked that chisel looked, and the
handle seemed to increase till 1t was as
long as a broomstick. When we got
within a few feet Of him, he jumped up
and sprang at us.
"Fire!" cried the general, from the
rear; and whiz spatter! splash went
the quart Of h%artshorn right bang
into his c%ountenance; down he went
like u log-it would have knocked
down q battalion; and while he was
catching his breath we caught him.