The Osceola times., 1878-11-16
FACTS AND FANCIES.

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DAVID was of short stature. Hence
his remark. 81 said In my haste tall
men are liars"
"HEAyEN lies about us in our inlan-
cy," and we do our lying for ourselves
when we get older.
A CUBIC foot Of standard gold Is worth
S292 500. A cubic foot Of standard sil-
YER is worth $lO,S91.
THERE is no disgrace in being poor
the thing is TO keep 1t quiet, and not les
your neighbor know anything about It.
CALIFORNIA is now shipping her honey
direct to Germany and taking Lin
burger cheese In exchange. Sweets 70
the strong.
If YOU were to offer ten thousand
dollars for sewing machine that did MT
take the first premium at the Paris ex-
position, we don't suppose you could get
one.
The Nation thinks that q part Of the
drill OF every girls school ought 70 %
the reception by q wife In an old gown
to a dinner Of corned beef aud cabbage
of an unlooked-for guest, thoughtlesaly
brought home by reckless husband.
EDITORS like brevity, but . man who
WAS recently hung in Indiana suited
them too we'll. He made no remarks
about heaven, hut nodded to the preach.
er and said, "Pll see you later" and
then the trap fell.
A DYING man in Burlington crawled
out Of his bed, dragged himself 70 the
rocking chair, pulled the tidy down,
rolled It up and sat upon II, and died
with a sweet smile OF triumph lighting
up his face HaWkeye.
THE Chinese Encyclopedia meets .
long. felt want, and no family should b
without it. 1t is published at Pekin, in
five thousand and twenty volumes, and
at the price of seven thousand i've hum
dred dollars is the same a. given away.
:" Get the best"
cit seems to me-" said customer to
his barber, "thst in these hard times
you ought to lower your prices tor shaw
ing" "Csn't do it." replied the par-
Der. Nowadays every body wears such
a long face that we have q great deal
| of surface 10 shave over"
THE melancholy days have come,
| The ,addest Of the year
| When taxes reach maturity
Ana myrisd bills appear,
| When frosts from northern latitudes
| Upon the bretzss hoat,
And siths the editor to think
| He has no oveIcoat.
-Ys~keys 0assas
"LEr us no longer cling to the old
forms,' Gays the Nation. Shake, you
staid old monument of superior respect
ability, shake; we're with you. Bring
US some forms ranging from sixteen 10
nineteen years old to cling to. But We
are surprised to hear the Nation propose
such thing.-Hd,ckeye.
"PM tough cuss from Bitter Creek," !"
il the expression employed by the Plains
despersdo to inform everybody that he
is aon the fght." Farther east the
corresponding member OF society says:
I'm a vol, and this is my time to
howl" In Kentucky he says, I'm .
yard wide, and all WOOL"
A Young clergy man, whose maiden
sisters were "awiully sot" against his
entering the martial stave, kicked over
the traces aud got married. He then
sent friend to break the news gently
to the girls, with instructions 10 open
the negotiations by saying that he was
dead, and then gently work up to the
real fact.
A New HAVEN policeman has de-
vised new kind of policeman's club.
The invention consists of brass cover
iug to an ordinary club, attached to 1t
| l. nd o.1ata1 ~, hIo
wood. II rough should seize it, he
would only get the brass cover, leaving
the policeman ample opportunity to
WELD the club itself.
A PERSIAN populace is not like .
European one In Europe a monarch,
returning to his people after lengthy
VOYAGE, would be received by lsud &C.
carnations OF joy and welcome, but
when the Shah recently landed in his
own deminions, on his return from his
European tour, the people of the towns
through which he passed merely bowed
down their healsin silence.
OF cotton cloth the United States ex-
ported last yea: one hundred and twenty
six million yards, while the amount In
1874 was bat eighteen million. Em.
ployers claim that the earnings Of mill
operatives are higher now than IN 1850,
in proportion to the cost OF living, md
mills are supplying goods at less cost
than 10 that year. Although supplies
cost more and cotton the same, greater
skill and economy, with improved ma
chinery, produce these results.
Two IIrLe boys were put IN the
Holyoke, Mass., jail for stripping lesve.
from tree in the park. Soon aiterWard
the taller heard their icss. Peering
into the cell, be saw both ON their knssa.
40 Lord, please let us out Of this placss
and we'll never do Il again, never,
never" prayed one sobbing. calpsit,
while the other Wa repasting 1hc Loed'e
prayer. Pay hsrds<3 s go - =
them. ard speak yeaf