davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1878-11-05

Tho Umted Slalc7 Econumist SAYS:
co.'s is r. significant fact that nearly an
the fsiiures which occurred frnm the
commencement ui ihe panic oi 'f3 to
the present time were ciured hv excrf-
sive speculation. enragcmeut Boa enter
prises uutsid the proper business n
the parties cnuceIucd, and waste Of
capital consequent ou these iniudicious
operations. e. th 3 siatment there ap-
pears b. o. absolutely no exception. A
few minnr. aud, as We shall assume, in
nocent firms, may have been carried
away and overborno by the failure Of
greater concerns" Aud this excessive
speculation comes Of initiation.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1878-11-05

One Of Peoria's prominent lawyers
went home the other day to dinner, and
found that bis little hoy had his head
clipped IN accordance with the prevail
ING style. Affecting not to notice il,
hc began 10 speak Of wonderful curl
oslty on exhibition ut Washington city,
no the shape II living creature with q
form something like that OF a human
beng It's head was as round az n
pumpkin. ils ears stuck out like clam
shells ora a cocoanut, It's nose projected
IKE a figure four from what seemed to
be its lace, it walked upright, aud it's
head Was covered with growth Of
brstlcs about one-sixteeuih II an inch
.4 l,upth. and for want of better
name the creature had been called the
"What l. It?' And placing his hand
on the boys head. the father said.
"Why. here it is now. Here's the very
,hiug I've been talking about"
The boy replied, as he buttered o
piece Of biscuit. They've got q
blamed sight worse looking things
right here IN Peoria ~
What kind Of a thing is it?' said
the lawyer
ut IS the father of the What Is IT."
retoIted the lad.
The subject was dropped
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1878-11-05
Trouble Ahead.

Tho Wilmington, H.. Aivocsts re-
iaies a singular amusing circumstance
about a lady of that city who applied
Goa divorce aud subsequently made
up" and withdrew the application.
Things not running smoothly, however,
she again fled a petition for divorce.
OIL was once more poured upon the
troubled waters; aud with her liege
lord she started on visit 10 New York,
without, in this last instance, with
drawing the action. As a consequence
the divorce was legally decreed last
week, while the couple, in blissful ig-
uorance Of the fact, are enjoying mari
tai felicity in the highest degree some
where in the Empire State.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1878-11-05

Last Friday night Judge Stacy spoke
to the unterri6ed at the Democratic
club room in this village. Now the
Judge. when he has a subject that Is
inspiring. il generally able to retain
the attention Of an audience. but with
the fossil ideas Of the Democratic party
as subject, ones speech, be he ever
so eloquent. must be necessarily prosy
As the story goes. the Judge was slow.
" working his way along, and, observ-
ing that his audience was getting
sleepy. he suddenly raised bis voice
aud cried. Come over, friends; come
oser!" That was something the Dem
mvs could understand. With one &C.
cord they shook of the fetters Of sleep
grasp their hats and started for
Friends saloon. They thought the
Jndne bad invited them ovc- ~ take 4
drink, and great was tneir disappoint.
ment 10 hear that u was only an invita-.
ton 90 join the Democratic party
Hudson Poet.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1878-11-05
The Romanec OF Arithmetic.

The most romantic OF all numbers is
figure nine, because II cant be multi
piled away, or be got rad of anyhow.
Whatever you do it Is sure to turn mp
again as was the baby of Eugene
Aram's victim. One remarkable prop
erty Of this figure (said % have been
discovered by ". Green, who died 10
1890 is. that all through the multiple
cation table the product Of niue comes
to nine. Multiply by what yol like
and il givus the same rC Mt. Begin
with twice nine, IS; adj the gifts to-
gether. aud I aud S make - Three
three times nine are q: aud and F.
make @. so II goes on up - eleven
TIMES uiue, which gives o. Very
good: add the dIglts; Q aud . ure Is
aud aud s are 9. Going 10 any exten,
1t Is impossi ole 70 get rid II the fgdre
.. Take couple OF instances at uu
dom. Three hundred and thirty-niae
times nine are 3,0jl; add up the 81.
CURES aud they give 9. Five thou
sand aud ,eveHty-OIs time, niue art
a.. 800: the sum ~ these digits i5 81.
aud 2 aud Z are Q. VI. Dc Maiyau found
out another queer thing about this
number, namely, that Ii you take any
row Of figures aud, reversing their or
der, make a.substrati on sum Of It, the
total is sure to make 9. For example:
Take BOIL
Reverse figures T0j
3.3GG-1S. and ] and
s are ~
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1878-11-05

Gen. steadman,of Ohio, one Of the
worst demagogues in the country,
spoke az the Court House last evening
in favor Of the greenbackers. He was
So drunk ulat he did not know what he
vas talking about, and the only reason
he held has small audience together
vas because Of his being drunk. He
told his audience he did not know what
he was talking about, and this much Of
his speech they wsre satisfied was true.
Il Monroe Commercial
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1878-11-05

THrs IS Fam wARSTS0. Mer-
r. it riv uo'icn in the Troy (kan.) }
Chief thn' Whereas, when | am in
E. r...iI.d I am not competent 20 make
acts. an whereas. have been Ia
p aVantage "a on several occ ssions
recently, ia such contracts, i hereby
notify all persons that shall not here
after fulfil any contracts made by me
~hsn dunk"
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1878-11-05

nee y ~ ni a mth NNn hiattfu 70
pond. II gnt fhrre.
hs tie ssg, and lo k y 80 h1s
gt 70 was SO ne4' y
time tlat he wUull not Il i-f lis walk
f. feas s,. (" he hurried back th- -
hr cane II w. l. living h. will ~.
found adv,,cl,iils repeal of the re-
sumption act. lGen. Hawley.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1878-11-05

3,3G6-1S, and / and
s are y.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1878-11-05

The st. Louis Journal says that Mar
BILE is fond OF writing in French. He
always whites "Si fer dos pachees.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1878-11-05

Edward Caldwell and Almina Harris
we're tried at the Eaton Circuit and ac
quilted, IL being shown that Mrs. Har.
ms husband. when she married him,
had another wife. Consequently there
was no legal marriage. Harris sworC
positively to a contrary state Of facts
on the trial, but il was conclusively
shown that he lied, and he was arrest.
ed for perjury.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1878-11-05

Fred. Leader, OF White Pigeon, has
been convicted Of selling liquor 20 a
minor and assessed $50.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-10-17
What is s. Tucking!',

Reno (Nev.) Gazette
A bothered looking citizen came into
the Gazette office yesterday afternoon
and respectfully asked to be let look at
the dictionary. He sat down and
rather anxiOusly thumbed Webster a
while.
"What word are you looking for?' ask
ed a reporter, seeing that the stranger
had failed to strike the trail
"Wel,' said the man in q burst of
confidence, "you see I've only been
married short time, and my wife's
gone up to Truckee on visit, and she's
written to me to look in the bottom of
her trunk for a lot Of 'tucking' and send
it to her. Now, what l want to know
what in biazes as tucking?' 1t amt in
the dictionary"
'Iucking" said the reporter bri5kly,
"why, tucking is the stuff the girls make
by poking a sort Of short-turned fish
hook through a hole and catching the
thread and drawing it back again."
Then the editor spoke up contemptu-
ously, and said that man who was so
ignorant as that ought to hold his tongue
What the reporter had described was
crocheting. Everybody ought to know
what tucking was. The ladies in MAX
ing it used little continuance shaped
like mussel, with thread wound up in
side of it. Tucking could be purchased,
he believed, for 10 or Is cents a yard,
and why intelligent girls should waste a
whole day In making what they could
get for q short bit was more than he
could understand. In answer to ques-
ton from the admiring reporter, the ed
itor said he had been told that tucking
Was used in trimming the under-gar-
ments of the fair sex, but why things
should be ornamented which a fellow
would get licked for trying to look at
or perhaps shot-was beyond his COM
prehension.
The married stranger said the editor
was mistaken: that the article he men
toned was not tucking-it was tatting.
| This he knew for fact.
The editor observed that when a man
came to the Gazette Office for information
the editor, when he gave it, didn't like
to be told he lied. If the stranger want
ed to avoid trouble he had better get out
and 90 to the devil. AS the editor had
grown red in the face and his eyes were
blazing the married stranger coughed
! feebly and skunk down stairs.
In the mean time, what IS " tucking?
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-10-17

cellent IN quality, have a high reputa-
ton, and their merits sell them. They
are produced more cheaply than the
Eastern article, so that Western cream
cry butter, fresh from the churn, drives
out the Eastern farm dairy product,
made at larger cost on higher priced
land, and with more expensive labor
The remedy for the Eastern men may
be resort to cheese-making, until but
ter RECEIVERS proper relative value.
Milk is selling very low in the large
cities, and only nearby diaries can af-
ford to keep IN the business. Those
distant from market are being driven
to the creameries for q profitable outlet
for their product. This is unavoidable;
ana many milk-farmers aud butter
dairymen will follow the example One
caution Is needed: This is u season of
low prices and small pay for labor; it is
indeed "a day of small things" If,
however, quality is sacrificed, the pres
ent low level will sink yet deeper. To
raise the quality Of our product now is
to save and secure our market; and 1t
will be entirely safe to avoid the skim
milk cheese-manufacture, in trying to
get something from both butter and
cheese.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-10-17
COnsUmDfiOn Curpd.

An old physician, retired from practice, having
had placed in his hands by an East India mission
airy the formula of simple vegetable remedy,
for the speedy and permanent cure for consump-
ton, bronchitis, catarrh, asthma, and all throat
and lung affections, alSo positive and radical
cure for nervous debility and all nervous GEN.
plants, after having tested its wonderful curative
powers in thousands of cases, has felt it his duty
to make it known to his suffering fellows. Actu-
ated by this motive, and a desire to relieve human
suffering, will gend free of charge, to all who
desire it. this recipe with fol- directions for pre-.
pairing and using, in German. French, or English.
Sent by mail by addressing with stamp, naming
this paper, ". w. Sherar, 149 Powers Block,
Rochester, y. 7.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-10-17

Rue Polssy, was searched, and in a
small garden a summer-house was in
IN the course of erection. The gate of
the garden was within twenty yards of
where the severed hand was found.
The summer-house was torn down and
the ground dug up. Right under the
building was discovered a rough deal
box in which the remains of the miss
ing girl were found. The body had
been dissected, and the left hand was
missing.
When Place was aware of this dis
covery, he made a confession. The &C
quaintance begun with Madame Blon-
din when employed by Madame Rupert
ripened into familiarity, and, on the
evening of June Marie Youprez
came upon the guilty pair in the midst
Of their sinful dalliance. That same
evening, after Marie had retired and
was fast asleep, Madame Blondin
strangled her in her bed. Next NOM
ing early Place and his paramour re-
moved the body to the cellar, having
got rid of all the domestics for three or
four hours. The body Was dissected
and the pieces were removed by Place.
a few at time, and concealed in the
garden. How the hand had been
dropped he could not tell, but that
very night after the general order for
the search for Marie was issued, Place
removed the last parts of the body, and
with them the hand that was found
soon afterward. Then he put up the
job with Madame Blondin to personate
Marie, and the escape and visit to the
Vouprez's was part of the scheme.
On the trial Madame Blondin posi-
lively denied all knowledge of the
crime, but was unable to explain how
she came by the dress of Marie, which
she was found thrusting into the spout
at the time of the detectives visit.
Both man and woman were convicted,
the woman being sentenced for life and
the man for ten years.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-10-17
ROCK-A-BYE, BABY.

Rock-a-bve. baby in the tree top,
When the wind blows the cradle will rock:
When the bough breaks the cradle will fall,
Down tumbles baby cradle and ALL
Rock-a- bye, baby; the meadows in bloom,
Laugh at the sunbeams that dance in the room
Echo the birds with your baby tune,
Coo at the sunshine and flowers of June.
Rock-a-bye, baby; as softly it swings,
over thy cradle the mother love sings;
Bro1ding or cooling at even or dawn,
What viii it do when the mother Is gone?
Rock-abye, baby; so cloudless the skies,
Blue as the depths Of your own laughing eyes;
Sweet is the lullaby over your nest,
That tenderiy sings little baby to rest.
Rocll-a-bye, baby; the blue eyes Will dream
Sweetest when mdmma's eyes over them beam
Never again will the world seem so fair
sleep, little baby-there are clouds in the air.
ROck-a-bye, baby: the blue eyes will burn
And ache with that your manhood will learn:
Swiftly the years come with sorrow and care,
With burdens the wee dimpled shoulders must
bear.
Rockab bye, baby; there's coming day
Whose sorrows a mothers lips can't kiss away
Days when its song shall be changed to moan,
Crosses that baby must bear all alone.
Rcck-a-bye, baby; the meadows in bloom,
May never the frost pail the beauty in bloom,
BE thy world ever bright, as to-day it is seen,
Rocka-bye, baby, " thy cradle is green.''
London Reader.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-10-17
The Silent Stranger.

A stranger sat in a corner of the Car
hence to New York, in easy attitude,
his feet upon large black trunk. The
gentlemanly conductor, going his rounds
at the first station politely informed
the stranger that the trunk must be put
in the baggage car. To which the stran-
ger nothing replied. At the second
station the displeased conductor more
decidedly told the stranger that he must
put that trunk in the baggage car. To
which the stranger nothing replied At
the third station the vexed conductor,
more imperativelv told the stranger
that he must put the trunk in the bag
gage car or it would be put off the train.
To which the stranger nothing replied.
At the fourth station the irate conduct
or had the trunk put off and left. At
the fifth station the Modified conductor,
addressing the stranger begged him to
remember that he but did what his duty
required, and that he had only done so
after repeated warnings, and that it was
solely the strangers fault. To which
the stranger laconicaily replied: Don't
care; faint my trunk.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-10-17
The Potter Investigation.

The special bent of the American
mind seems to be that of old Si-to in
vestigate. We began to investigte in
1860, and we have been investigating
ever since. We investigated the South
pretty thoroughly then, and now they
have caught the spirit and propose to
investigate us. Investigation, that is a
thoroughly bipartisan, unprecedented
investigation, always leads TO one excel
lent result-the good. the true, is vindi-
Gated, and impostures are exposed.
This is precisely the reason why DIR. R.
V. Pierce invites and urges the public
to investigate the remedial powers OF
his Family Remedies. He knows that
the trial will vindicate all his claims for
them, and all that has been written of
them by grateful patients, who have
been restored to health by their use.
The Golden Medical Discovery and
Pleasant Purgative Pellets are the &C
knowledged standard remedies of the
age for all diseases Of the stomach and
liver.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-10-17
From Acute to Chronic

is an easy stage in cases of dyspepsia. slight
attack of indigestion, especially when there is 4
predispoSitiCL t. digestive weakness of the stom-
ach, mast speedily culmnIte in the more obsti
nate form OF the disease 1t is well, therefore tc
adopt preventive measures early. Although Hos
letters Stomach Bittcrs overcomes, if persisted
in, cases of dyspepsia Of long standing it is obv
ously the part Of wisdom to use it ere the malady
assumes Il chronic phase. This is particularly
true, because as dyspepsia advances, il engenders
constipation undue loosenesS of the bowels
nervous disorder, hypOchondria, sleeplessness
These maades are both prevented and remed ed
them in the outset with the great alternative than
TO wait until they establish firmer foOthold in
the system. Surely the adVisability of this must
be apparent.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-10-17
A Denver Suicide.
Denver Special, 9Th.

Eben W. Keyes, q prominent citizen
of Denver, committed suicide early this
morning by shooting himself through
the heart at his elegant residence on
Broadway, in the most fashionable
quarter Of the city. The news spread
like wild-fire, and surprised every one
except. the few who guessed the causes
that led to the commission of the act.
To most citizens of Denver, Mr.. Keyes
was known only as q wealthy public
citizen, q member of the school board,
an active worker in church and chart
table enterprises, and the last man who
would be expected to take his own life.
Domestic trouble, however, undoubt-
edly drove him to commit the deed.
His wife went east some weeks ago,
ostensibly on visit, but it now tran
spires that she left with no intent of re-
turning, taking with her her own chill
dren and leaving two of Mr.. Reyes by
former wife. All the property was
IN her name, and Mr.. -Keyes was left
not only without family, but measurabIy
destitute, and the modification was too
great for his sensitive nature to bear.
He retired last night, after carefully az
ranging all his personal effects, and was
found dead this morning with a bullet
drought his heart He was formerly
from Boston, but has lived west for
many years. He was man of kindly
disposition, and had many fast friends
in Denver.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-10-17
Be Ye Like Foolish.

"For. ten years my wife was confined
to her bed with such a complication OF
ailments that no doctor could tell what
was the matter or cure her, and l used
up a small fortune in humbug stuff.
Six months ago I saw U. S. fag with
Hop Bitters on it, and thought would
be fool once more. [ tried it, but
my folly proved to be wisdom. Two
bottles cured her, and she is now as
well and strong as any mans wife, and
it only cost me two dollars. Be we like
foolish. H. W., Detroit, Mich.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-10-17

FIRST CLASS PIANOS CHEAP.-We see
from their illustrated and descriptive
catalogue. that the Mendelssohn Piano
Co., of New York. are selling their pi-
amos at prices ranging from $125 to 800.
The Mendelssohn piano has world wide
reputation for its power and rare beauty
of tone. Their factory is one of the
largest and most complete in the world.
The company sell pianos direct to the
people without the intervention of agents
or dealers, thereby saving purchasers
often as much as one half the prices
usually charged. They manufacture the
Grand, Square and Upright pianos, and
are among the very best instruments
offered to the public, though the plices
charged are not one third what other
manufactures charge for no better in
struments than the Mendelssohn. I'm
like some concerns who don't make q
piano at all but pick up old rattle boxes
and advertise them far and near as
"$1 900 pianos" for mere nominal
sum, the Mendelssohn Piano Co. make
all their own instruments and warrant
them. They are not defending scores
of law suits from their customers as
others are, who advertise such wonder
full bargains. See the card Of this COM
pany in another column.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-10-17
Seasoning.
Rare costume-Ar raw silk dress.

Rare costume-Araw silk dress.
Somebody describes a young man
holding an umbrella over his girl as a
rainbeau.
Two Japanese babies are hitched TO-
gether at the shoulders. The mother
rejoices to see them so highly connect
ed.-Grdphic.
1t is a noticeable fact that the ice
man is much more polite and refined
than he was six weeks ago.-Puck.
Many Ohioans don't 60 to college until
after their death. And they get
INTO a pretty pickle too.-Nouristoun
Herald.
Observing a white farmhouse with its
end painted red and yellow, trifer re-
marked, " What a gaybl-ending of col
ors !"-Ne1O York Graphic.
The man who gets up last in the
morning ought to make the best re-
porter, because he always gets the
latest snooze. -KeoSlL6 Constitution.
Did you ever see the expression on a
mans face when his wife says.
" Now, [ want you to stay home to-
morrow and help me paper the walls.
-NelU York Express.
Madam" said certain one to Mrs.
Brown, the other day, you are talking
simply rubbish" eyes, SIR" replied
the ever-crushing lady, because [ wish
you to comprehend me-"
Busness-like Wife," I'm sure YOU
charge too much for your pictures, my
love, beautiful as they are If you were
to ask a quarter Of the price you would
sell twice as many.-Punch.
Teacher-Now what is the meaning
of the word chasm? Pupil-It is an
opening. Teacher-Favor me with an
example. Pupil-The milliners have a
chasm at the beginning of the season.
We cannot endorse the communistic
faction who want to destroy all labor
saving machinery until we know their
views about artificial teeth. We must
draw a line somewhere Stamford Id
UOcdte.
Sunday-school teacher" Which is
the beet, the wheat or the tares ?" Mas
day-school teacher" Why? Explain
yourself, you stupid boy" Master
Hobbs" The wheat gets thrashed, but
tares don't"
The United States army is pretty
busy just now. One of them goes out
to fight 10000 Indians every morning
while the other stays at home and gets
breakfast It's wearing though-on the
army. The Indians don't appear tc
mind it much,-Bridgeport Standard.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-10-17
Banged Hair.

In regard to a certain fashion now in
vogue, a gentleman writes the following
to the Boston V0ma1a's Journal:
Every day, meet in the streets of
Boston, young ladies, who would other
wise look intelligent, reduced to the
appearance of idiocy by peculiar
method of combing the hair down over
the forehead. This hideous deformity
is evidently copied from the patients of
lunatc asylums, and schools for the
feeble-minded. The effect is shocking.
Although not fastidious, shrink from
hideous mask. Is it 4 protest against
being considered strong-minded that
the young women thus assume the
garb of idiocy? [ am told that lady
thus degraded is said to have her hair
banged" But it seems to me that her
sanity must be badly banged to thus
defOrn herself.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-10-17

A CABLE despatch to the Associated
Press says that Mason & Hamlin have
been awarded the highest gold medal at
the Paris Exposition for their Cabinet
Organs. Thirty best makers of the
world were competitors.