Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1878-04-05
HERE AND THERE.
TnR IsGLE SIDE.
by HEW AINsLRE,


by HEw ANsLEE.
It's rare to zee the morning breeze
Like bonfire irae the sea;
It's fair to see the burnie Kiss
The liz of the fowery lea;
An fine II is On the green hillside,
Where huns the honey bee
But rarer. fairer, finer far,
Is 'he Ingle SIDE to me.
Glens msy be GIT WI gowans rare,
The birds may ill the tree,
An toughs hae a. the scented ware
That SINNERS growth can gle
But the cantie hearth, whore cronies meet
An the darling o. our e'e,
That makes to US warld complete,
U, the lngle Sides Tor me.
A granger stood curiously watching the
peanut man as he methodically. turned the
crank of his rooster. After expectantly wait
ing until patience ceased to be a virtue. the
unsopbisticated tiller ofthe soil blurted out
"Hullo ! you feller, why don't you play suth-
in?"
Just our luck Here are Sl2, ,000, 900 left
in Holland for the Cronk family in America.
and We might have married Cronk girl
once. We really intended TO, but none of
her folks would consent, and she would not
consent, and as they seemed to have private
sources Of information on the subject, they
finally outgeneralled us, and there Is another
fortune gone.-ROhe Sentinel.
''He wos koind master, he Was. He
thought of me afore he died, and in his will
he said Il leave to my sol William both
them sheep wot was lost last week, if they
gets found, and in case they doesn't, leave
EN- to nv faithful servant Joseph | hopes
they wont get found.
Washington couldn't tell lie when be saw
it.-Oa City Derrick.
William Mustard, of Delaware, has been
appointed an honorary commissioner to the
Paris exhibition. lie should have been ap-
pointed to represent the Sandwich Islands. -
Commercial Bulletin.
This conundrum is now in circulation
What is the difference between potato and
lemon - When the questioned party says
he don't know, the other says Then
don't want you to buy any lemons for me" ;
and then comes the cha ha ha -
The killephone is the reverse of the tele-
phone by using it you can avoid hearing u
chatterbox not foot distant, and cats may
howl all night on your ridgepole lthout
your knOwingit. Even your neigbbors cor
net becomes mnoxious and the hand-organ
loses its sting Lo,ceH Courier
NEW PEoyERBIAL PHILOSOPHY.
At good pennyworth pause awhile. and
see if you can't get the shopman to throw OFF
a little for cash.
Everything is good in its season, except
oleomargarine, which has no season it can
call Its own.
He is not dead who has one throw to cast,
but he dice coon after.
The foot on the cradle and the hand on
the distaff is the sign of a good wife. but We
have our doubts about its being good sign
by which to choose wife. particularly the
foot on the cradle" part of it.
-Four great nephews of the Father of his
country-by the way. what relation does
that make them TO the country want Con-
gress to purchase relics Of them to the value
of s12 600 So it would seem that every ill.,
dustry of the country rs not at a standstill.
Worcester Press.
Up in the loft the old man kept a keg of
the very best. The carpenter who had been
working on the first hoor was found in the
loft end he tried to fool the old gent by say
ing that he had "just come up to measure q
rafter" The old man simply winked and
said, 81 think you rafter my measure"
A ii1I hos been introduced in the Senate
sl 20 form in every town ~ tho State society
Ior the prevention. of horse stealing. If its
DIVISIONS ~ a-ag~ made to include nightmare,
.Sjfsehess, etc, we shall pony up for its sup
port.-Portchester Journal,
poetess weighing l60 pounds yearns ITO
twitter. as a bird on some lone SPRAY" When
she gets on spray aad begins TO twitter
there is going to be item for the local pa
per, unless the spray is as thick as an un-
derground gas piPe.-AorTis sto,oR Herald
A Dubuque, Iowa, man left his home about
eighteen months ago, and previous to his de-
parture buried 81 900 in gold coin in a tield.
having taken the bearings very carefully by
the fence tree and the cupola of a house
When he returned the field had been cut mn
into building lots and the tree cut down, and
it Was not until land surveyor had been
called in and variety of abstruse calcula-
tions had been worked with tho rottinp
roots OF the tree, which were fortunately
discovered in the ground that the money
WAS found.
Cause and Effect. Beauty Still a bach
elor, countr Why do you not marry?-
Count: Veil, it is not Eat am disinclina-
toned but your English mees, she is so
beautiful, and ven see pretty face tie
one knot in my ckpockethandkerchief and
ven re next tie anozer and at ze last, ven
1 shall to marry, it is all knot and no wife =
Funny Folks.