Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1878-03-21
Cable Wheels. Out his PaFnlyzed
Uncle.
By =. Ed"

CaDle mas :. paralNZeu uncle WHO Is 81
rich that it is currently. reported that h
sleeps in a gold bed, and has his bolster
stuffed with diamonds.
!. Consequently. Cable is very attentive t.
his paralyzed uncle, and the other evening
when that gentleman suggested that Gable
wheel him out OH the avenue in his invalid
chair, Cable readily consented.
The invalid chair is a vehicle, the cross
between sulky and sofa, and goes OH
two wheels, while the gentleman on be-
hind propels it. by means of a short handle
in the rear.
Cable got his uncle in and started all
right. pushing the conveyance along with
an air that seemed to say:
IL amt got to do this, oh, no; I'm only
doing it for exercised
1t was nice night, tie stars were shin
ing brightly, and Cables paralyzed uncle
felt joculal.
He asked Cable if he knew that Bar
NUNS big ape had escaped, and wanted to
know why he Cable did not go back to
his cage; said that he delighted to scare
dogs into fits, and would like Cables pic
ture to do it with, and further inquired
why Cable did not get the pilnple planta-
ton on his face tened in.
As Cables paralyzed uncle talks with
the extreme secrecy OF Il fog-horn, the
promenaders on the avenue naturally stop
ped to enjoy the circus, and Cable felt as
though he was having deuce of Il time.
Suddenly they came to a slippery place
on the sidewalk, and Cable sat right down
on the pavement without giving anybody
a chance to blow the dirt away.
But he held on to the invalid chair as he
did so. and the consequence was that his
paralyZed uncle shot out of the chair like
Il rocket, turned treble somcrsault,
waltzed over an ash-boX, and finally sat
down on his head in brick pile.
As he was only paralyzed in the legs, lie
could use his arm, and he did so. too, do
ing his best for about five minutes to bat
ter Cables heart out with bricks.
You lone it on purpose, You IRON
hearted young devil.'' yelled he; '!Set
poor Oil man out here, you big-mouthed
and then try to murder him tor
his money!
Get out, you paralyzed old fraud"
growled Cable, lodging brick: and thus
they kept it up, until burly policeman
came along, torcibly reseated Cables I'LL
lie. and told him that if he didn't shut up
ned put him in a carpet bag and carry him
% the lookup.
"Where shall go:" asked Cable.
His paralyzed uncle hit him in the eye
With qrid of tabacco, told him that he
would surely be hung, and genially re-
luested him to wheel tie invalid chair to
certain hot place unmentionable.
So Cable started up the avenue again.
There was quite a crowd. and seeing what
lie imagined to be a good chance to go
head little, he embraced it.
But as he did so, couple myster;ously
preared before him. having apparently
walked all the way from California to get
n the way just then.
They were spooney couple; he had
list bought her three grey squirrels fried
l box, and they We're so engrossed in
lie mutual discovery that they both had
'eckles on their teeth, that they would
OF have got out Of the way of 4 steam
Tough.
Tie consequence was that the invalid
lair struck them; they both jumped for
re nearest telegraph wire, and finding
lat they couldn't reach it, came down
gain and reposed in the mud gutter. while !
able's paralyzed uncle walked across the /
rect on his lands, and laid down on the : :
iroad track. Q
When he was picked up, and they had S
1t one of his ears in his pocket. ard
onlised that they would send his nose Z
ong by mail if they ever found it, he felt
nd, and desired to mould Cables classic v
rm anew with club. Z
But Cable was wise, and remained hid n
behind beer saloon until his jolly re- n
ion Tented, and so!emnly swore that r
wouldn't kill him until he got home. \,
DIFF they started again, and after going =
tn perfect safety for block. Cable " y
ned to hook at a little daisy who had di
zen him the wink. :,
Of course tie diabolical chair went Il
ray, hit the stand in front of a crockely n
re, and Cables paralyzed uncle prom q
lded out into the air. and took seat on it
: ruins of dozen teacups and soup =,
h. n "a
able took one glance at tie catastrophe OF OF
| busted to the other side of the avenue. pc
ere he held up brick house by leaning 81 al
,inst it, for fear it might fall down and
IT somebody. B
)ut came the crockery man.
lie was big. fat Dutchman, and there
s blood in his eye.
lie caught Cables paralyzed uncle by /,
collar, and expressed a strong desire to
, him to feed the sparrows with.
: on vOs Ollt enough to know better