The New York herald., 1878-09-29

very fiat this autumn" SWELL" was the rejoiudcr,
sfhere Is pretty brisk business done some do
partmens, but there is class OF books which
are very fiat indeed" Wiling to receive iniorma-
tion from any source the old gentleman raised his
gold specacss TO the top OF his bald head aud said.
"May ask, my friend what class OF books you refer
tor" The iunny man put his hand into his pocket,
drew forth the usual receptacle for spare cash, and
answered, 'rhe pockstbook"
IL good answer and ought not TO be forgotten,
and shows how easily some OF the great provlems
science be disposed OF II you only look them
right Somebody, with bushy eyebrows and fore
head like the aoms OF ST. Peter's, asked, "why
doesn't lightn ever strike twice In the samo
place" Tho savans gave very learned answers, but
little boy who cutting his finger with hts first
jackkne, spoke up bold voice aud sad, 81 know,
mister" Then the company OF gray-naired scientists
looked at the youth with cumulative frown which
would have annihated him but for The fact that
boy is hard thing to kill deep sonce prevailed.
and the little boy saia ''ls because don't need to-
Once Ia enough, and guess II you hit you'd
think so."
How easy II is to spoil poetic rhapsody by CON-
place statement OF fact. lively imag ina
tion and lisped In numbers Tor tbs numbers came but
she had married man who had no more appreciation
OF joke or Ol poetic sentiment than LORD Dun
drsary, and like his otyps he insisted that tho old
adsge '.B rds OF feather aocK toget her, simply
ridiculous, because in tue first place, there couldn't
be number oil birds with only one leather between
them, and because, in the second place, II such
anomaly should occur, entirely
unnecessary to saie that they aocked together
It was utterly impossible Tor thom to n,ck apart
IN the very nature OF thugs. Our frlond
OF the Lord Dundreary type was listening vacaptly
TO the illusions OF hts wife she ases
over tho beauties OF the landscape. AT length she
said, 'My DEAR net those biras the wing beau
uiui?" He turned on her with scientific scorn, and
replied, ''Maria the birds not the wlng that
is absurd very little observation will show you that
the wings the birds" divorce on tho ground
OF fundamental and irremediaole incompat,bihty is
the tapis.
The Detroit Free Press tells OF sad catastrophe In
connection with Contribution boxes We have often
observed that when man intends TO deposit large
sized silver piece he Is apt hold it openly between
MIS- thumb and finger that every may IT, and
TO drop it from convcnisnt elevation into the box
that its jingle may DO heard far and wide.
When, on tho contrary, he intends TO give
only penny, ne keeps It In tho palm OF
his hand. closing MS fingers about It very tightly,
that he may the better follow the Scripture njunc-
ton and not let has lett hand know what his right
hand gives. And wnen he puts the coin with which
he SO reluctantly parts into the box he does not
drop IL from height AS the man with Tho half dollar
does but quietly inserts his whole Ast INTO tho box
and stsaithily opens his fingers and wthdraws
that you really can't toll whether he has put
something taken something out. That the way
in which the churches are supported by generous
public But TO story. AT meeting Of some coored
brethren It decided to tako up q collection. The
president ncluded 10 pass the hat himself, and In
order TO encourage tho others no put IN ten cent
piece. Al the end Of the ceremony, during which
every hand had been In tho hat, tho president ap-
preached the table, turned tho hat upside down and
not his own contribution dropped ouL He
opened hrs eyes with astonishment ana exclaimed,
Fo Lord, but pzs eben loss de ton cents started
widl" Then there CONSERVATION the faces Of
the nj utituds. Who was the lucky manr that was
the question. He could not blush turn pale, for
all were black night II was evidently hope.
less cass ana summed up by ono brother, who
rose In his place and said, solemniy, Dar pears TO
be great moral roun hsan somewhat"