Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1878-12-13
CURRENT NOTES.

II is All actual fact demonstrated beyond a
doubt, that the sound of a fiddle in a house
will drive rats away. You see, the rats don't
own any property, and can get away as well
as not. Detroit Free Press.
1t was an odd little coincidence that while
"A Chicago divine was explaining last Sunday
that Jonah had only to scratch the whale
lung with his thumb-nail. in order to get
supply of air, another divine was eXpunging
Jonah, thumb-nail, whale and all, from the
Bible as An exploded fiction. Between such
conflicting authorities there can be but one
rational conclusion, and that is that it would
have been a great deal better for Jonah if he
had done as he was bid, and gone to Nineyeh
nt once instead OF running of to lar,hish
and making SO much trouble. Philadelphia
Bulletin.
For of all the sad words that ever were
written. the saddest are these, II got the
mittcn.
There was a young man in rontoosuc,
Who persistently tried to learn music
lie played, sang and yelled
TIL the mel ghbors rebelled
And murdered this chap of fontoosuc.
-Hd"Geye.
The man who married Mrs Jeiireys Lewis
married her for herself alone. That's the
the reason he got her money out OF the way
as soon as possible II Detroit Free Press.
A Bridgcporter was welded the other eve
ming. and in preparation for the event went
to baker and wanted n cake built. The
bakers trust in the groom was not exactly
founded on rock, and he cautiously requir-
ed him to furnish the ingredients and pay for
the making This was agreed to and the
cake launched on time. Before the ceremo-
ny the happy groom called Tor til" cake and
~, 81 H. tl.tNa1a
was chilled by the cold suspicion of the
baker, who sordidly suggested pay before the
cake went The groom left the cake and SAID
he would call in the morning. lie did not
call and the hcartless baker put up the cake
around which so much OF sentiment and JOY
Gus hope had clustered, iOr II common rattle,
and the groom took chance III 1t, but lost.
He was an ingenious man, however, and
when asked by friends when he should cut
his wedding cake, said he should keep it for
II twelve month. - Bridgeport Standard.
Some years since there was II case in New
Hampshire where train left the falls and
went down "A steep bank. Among the injur-
ed was IA farmer, who soon after received
call from the companys attorney, with n view
to settle The lawyer said he wanted TO do
the fair thing, expressed his confidence that
the injured man would expect nothing more,
and asked what amount would satisfy him.
Lets see, said the farmer, "how far did
fall :" about twenty-six feet, | think, an
swered the attorney. Suppose we saga dol
lar foot z timidly suggested the farmer.
would that bo too high" The case was
settled then and there Boston Trans
cript
The 5-year-old son of family the other
day stood Watching his baby brother. who
was making great noise over having his
face washed The little fellow at length lost
patience. and, stamping his tiny foot, said
You think you have lots Of trouble, but you
don't know anything about 1t. Wait till
you're big enough to get II lickin and then
you'll see won't he, mamma