The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1878-01-24

sPonse Of The Highlander IS be wen, o
: his wAy.
Mistress OF herself wss the spouse q
the Old gentleman who oon.rived 4
tumble OF The ferry boAd into ths Missis,
. ippi, aud was encouraged to struggle 70
I dear life by bic better half shouting
There, Samuel; didn't tell you 20
Now, then, work your legs, Dap you
arms, hold your breath, aud repeat lhr
Lond's Prayer, for its mighty onsartin
samuel, whether you land 10 yicksburI
or elernityi
Thoroughly obvious Of court manner
: was The red cloaked old ken,ish dam,
who found her way into the tent occu
pied by Queen Charlotte, at yoluutee
review held shortly after her coming /,
England, and after staring at the roya
lady with her arms Akimbo, observed
Wen, she's not 80 ugly as they told m,
she wss!-a compliment the queen CRATE
fully accepted, saying: Well, my good
woman, | am very glad Of that. Proba
bly, Her majesty iorgaye her critics yude
ness as the outcome OF rustic ignorance
and simplicity.
There is no cooler man than your
simple fellow. While General Thoma.
was inspecting the Notifications OF Chat.
tanooga with General Garfield, they
heard some one shout; Hello, Mister
You! want to speak to youl General
Thomas, turning, found be was The mis-.
ter SO politely hailed by an East Tennes.
seean soldier.
i Wen, my man, said he, what do you
want with me
want to get furlough, mister, that's
what | want, was the reply.
Why doyou want afurlongh, my manl I
/ inquired the General.
i Wall, want TO go home aud see my
wife,
How long is ii since you saw her?
Ever since enlisted; nigh on to three
months.
Three months! exclaimed the com.
mander. Why my good fellow. | have
not seen my wife for three years
The Tennesseesn looked incredulous,
and drAwled out: Wall, you see, me and
my wife aiu't that sort
The Postmaster General of the United
States once received an odd official com-
munication; The Raeborn postmaster,
new TO his duties, writing to his superior
officer: Seeing by the regulations that
am required 10 send YOU letter Of adj
vice, mnst plead Ia excuse that have
bcen postmaster but short time; but
will say, ii your oflice pays no better
than mine, advise you TO give it up.
10 this day hat Postmaster General has
not decided whether his subordinate was
All ignoramns or was quietly poking fun
at him
Spite OF the old axiom about self praise
many are Of the opinion that The world is
apt to take man at his own valuation
II that be true, there is church digni-
tary in embryo somewhere in the young
deacon, whose examining bishop felt il
requisite to send for the clergyman rec
omnending him for ordination, 10 order
TO tell him TO keep that yonng man in
check; adding by way of explanation:
had the greatest difficulty, sir, to prevent
him examining mel This not to be
abashed candidate for clerical honors
promises to be as worthy of the cloth as
the American minister who treated his
village congregation to one Of Mr.. Beech
er's sermons, unaware that the popular
Brooklyn preacher made one of his hear.
ers. Accosting him after service, M.
Beecher said: That was fair discourse;
how long did il take you TO write IL?
Oh, tossed II of one evening, was the
reply.
Indeed ssid Mr.. Beecher Well, il
took me much longer than that to think
ont the frame work of that sermon.
Are you Henry Ward Bercher? asked
the sermon stesler.
am, said the gentleman.
Well then, said the other, not in the
least Disconnected, all 1 have TO say is,
that | ain't ashamed TO preach one of Your
sermons auywhrre.
We 30 Hot know il Coleman invcmed
the phase, A. c1ol a. cacnniitr; bat he |
makes the lri.hnu Ia iae lieir at Law |
say: These Two mus b;a rich man that |
won't lend aud boiro.ef Tor one is |
trotlihg about in great distress aud /
t'Olbcr stands COO as a cucumber. OIL
tie two, the latter was more likely to /
have been intending raid on another
mans purse, for tie men whose very
trade is borrowing are usually, we might
say necessarily, the coolest of the cool
like Bu5b Dodingion's impecunious sc-
qaainlance, who, rushing ACROSS Bond /
street, greeted Dodibgton with: I'm de- !
lighted to see you, for am wonderfully /
in want Of guinea.
Taking out his parse, Bubb showed |
that it held but hail guinea
A thousand tbanksl cried his torment. /
or, deftly seizing the coin; that will do .
very well for the present. aud then
the couyersation. But az he /
turned TO take leave be inquired By-lhe.
by, when will YOU pay me that balf
guincay
Pay you? What do you mean! ex-
claimed Dodingtop.
Mcau2 Why, intended to borrow 8
guinea Of you have only got half; bnt /
I'm not in a hurry Tor rotLer Name
your own time, only pray keep it ! saying /
which be disappeared around the corner.
John PbGaix, the American hum0ttst, +