The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1878-01-03

come ~ Hulfafia. Ahn Turks and huas
slams lam each other. and tho eorrcapon-
dents do the lyin'
Suicide By the uso Of the pistol d solv.
ing the problem Of iiio with tho aid Of
trigger nomoiry.
Weary person on evening visits "Aw,
m just OFT Of sick bed Terrible hoy.
say Mr.. johnson. what ails yer bedT
There are two things which double an
a man with startling rapidity, the misery
Of an uneasy conscience aud the unpaid
interest on promissory note.
Nine men out Of ten. when you run
against them In tho dark. will say felloi
The other ono wall utter tho irat syllable
and lea you 20 complete The word.
A play called tho Colorado Beetle has
been put upon the stage In New England
IL ought 70 run pretty we'll Now won't
somebody bring OUT a Grassope-a7
The leproay among the American Chi.
ueac - SIMPLY a &C. Q. They ere eating
buckwheat all summer. aud tho b ak.
ing out was something new 10 thea.
The Richmond Enquirer pristcd an
aud the next day suspended publication.
Could that have been The GOOD time h
referred TOT
The opulcnt Clinton Courier speaks Of
taxes on the oditof Il faith An editor
with faith enough % make him liable 10
taxation. il to be regarded With awe.
The doctors In indianapolis are quar-.
rHNtnw - LfFHaHNar III a.
last week an undertaken starved 10 death,
and great drstitution and suffering IN
that industry l. feared.
There Is bun saw In Michigan which.
ia Is short Greer OF usefuiress. hrs
sawed of seventy fingers, nine
hands, three a. ns nd pair of legs Eii
Perkins u engaged on The saws biosra.
ply. which he will call Wreck Colloe.
lions Of Buzzy Life"
We have done some awful mean thinrs
IN oar life. but We never we're mean
enough 10 hurt the feelings Of t.srco
women walking abreast on the crossing,
BY stepping OF In tho mud There's
something hul4an left about "a II wo are
In the newspaper business.
Belinda" Of The Boston Globe. say. a
M les her crawl 10 think OF young clerks
trying on young ladies' shoes. "BelinaaT
shouldn't let her thoughts run ia that
direction. And beside. what harm Il
there in 4 clerk trying on . young iady's
shoe The probabilities arc that his
foot l. 20 big that 10 eoaldnt got Ter
shoe on, any yhow-unlcss Il belonged 10
a Chicago young lady.
4 French ehcmiat has succeeded In
producing a paint with which 10 nlumin.
ate tho numbers on q street door al nieht
This u an invention long needed hy frn.
ucmcn whose buaincss requires them %
return home after midnight Ia such a Be-.
fuddlcd condition that they cant hud
their own doors without liFhiinga match.
aud when they have no match they 40
obliged 20 sit on the door step until day.
light, just because The keyholo Il loft.
Tho old gentleman went into lhe par.
Tor tho other night, at The witch ing hour
Of ll.i5 and found The room unliEhtad
and his da Fhlfr aud dear fri "a occu.
pyiug n tctc atele IN the corner by tho
window Evans reline. the oid man
aaiG, sternly. "this l. soandaiouH" "Yea.
papa." che answered swcctly. "it u can.
dlclcsa. because times aro 20 hard. and
lights COS. 40 much, that Ferdinand aud
] said We should try and eot along with
the starlight" And papa turned about
ia apeechloss hmazsment. aud tried %
walk out Of the room through a pannel
In tho wall paper
beautiful girl on West Hin with
silken curll in which tho sunshine soa....
ed 70 have been cntauglcd and held.
with mild. loving blue cyea that opened
wide In sweet surprise. aud melted IN
tears at the voice Of distress. a sensi.
tive lipa that trcmhled aud quive "A
with pain at q harah word, and tender
voice. soit AZ the notss of flutes upon tho
water. got away behind In a Fal.o OF
sroquot last Wednesday. aud when her
brother caught her cheating. she opened
her mild blue eyes Be- surprise aud hit
him such a slap over The oyo with a Gro.
Iuct mallel that he has had 70 wear his
nat pasted on thc back Of BE head with
! wafer ever since. Dear girl
Henry Clay Dean was mover % mad "A
he other day when patent agent noid
aim washing machine for q cider press
When he discovered that be waa the Vie.
i'm Of "scll. the fearful language ha
iacd would have wrecked two o. three
sunday schools What" re soliloquis
.d. what In the dash do I want with a
washing machino2 Why. dash dash itT
wouldn't hnd any use for such a con.
rivanco II were 10 live 10 be a. old a.
dethusalehT = Then ho loaded his shot
,un and started out into the black night.
lul the agent escaped.
We read with alarm that a cat show
ield in Philadelphia last week. there
we're introduced cats with two. throc.
i've and even six legs; cah with two
heads each cats with blue eyes, aud
brown eyes, and black eyes. aud some
having ono eye Of ono color aud tho
lther Of another, cats weighing from
fourteen 10 thirty pounda, cats twenty
Year. old, aud cats feet long IA IA
estimated that in Eve years tho improve.
mcnt IN cats will be 20 marked. that peo.
pic Of the United Statcl will mostly dis
Tor want Of sleep.
That leopard" said Mr.. Middlcrib %
his friend wipcdunig Of Pcoria. ~ they
we're at the circus Friday. "will eat "a
your hand" "PosalbloY said Ar. Wine.
duuks. Pact replied Mr. Middlerib.
Mr. Wipcdunks then laid . piece ol
cracker in his hand and extended Il %
tho leopard. The do ilo animal iumadi.
atcly bit OF the thuiab and two inrcrr.
and expressed n dcairn for more.
There. said the heartlcss Middlcrib. a
knew he'd eat OF your hand. bot didn't
suppose you'd give bin a chance" This
b true story. A. true hs anything
about a circus j.. AZ any rate.
saturday week tho Prco Press had
Robert Lunuie. lato Of Guelph aud Lon.
don. Ontario. commit suicide la New
York oper.. houao. Robert wri.ca fFom
New York aud says be Il It'll living ON
sixth avenue IN that city. and eaptloufly