davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-06-27
Outdoor Shorts.

The season has now arrived when out
door sports are apropos. The caterpil-
lar has left his den, the mosquito has
turned over in bed and uttered a warn
ing shrek, and big green worms are sky
larking around on shade trees, and
betting on their chances of dropping
down behind mans coat-collar.
An interesting lawn game is played as
follows:
At the supper~table the wife remarks:
"James, I want $40 to fix up my sum-
mer silk. Don't go away without leav-
ing it. %
James makes no reply. but manages to
slip out of the house unseen. He is
stealing softly across the lawn to jump
over the fence at the corner, when his
wife comes rushing out and exclaims:
"James James see here -
He begins to squint into cherry tree
and talk about moths.
"You walk back here and hand over
that cash, or I'll send for my mother to
come and stay all summer p
According to the rules of the game, he
turns and looks at her, and mutters to
himself:
"That Wits me p
"The idea of your skulking off like
that" she continues; when he ad-
vances, hands out the "X," and, if he
can convince her that he had as soon
give her $40 as $40, he wins the game.
Another outdoor game is played be-
tween 10 o'clock in the evening and
midnight, in order to avoid the heat of
the sun. It is played altogether by
married people, Nine o'clock having
arrived, and the husband not having
reached home, the indignant wife nails
down the windows, locks all the doors
and goes to bed, feeling as if she could
smash her partner in a minute and
half. Along about II o'clock Charles
Henry begins to play his part in the
game. He is suddenly seen under the
kitchen window. He seeks to raise it.
He tries another and another, but the
sash won't lift. Then he softly tries all
the doors, but they are locked. The
rules of the. game allow him to make
some remarks at this juncture, and it
generally begins to rain about this mo-
ment AS he gets under the shelter of
the garden rake, he muses.:
''Nice way to treat me, because I
found stranger on the walk with
broken leg, and took him to the hos
pital.'
AS the rain comes harder, he boldly
climbs the front steps and rings the
bell. After about ten minutes the door is
opened, hand reaches out and pulls
him into the hall, and the game goes on:
ooh you vile wretch p
''Jarling, whaz mazzer-whaz IL it,
jarling ?" rr
"Don't darling me. Here it is almost
daylight, and I've shivered and trem-
bled, and brought on a nervous fever
which may carry me to my grave p
"Jarling, I found leg on the side
walk wiz broken man, and-r'
This game is always won by the wife.
Another, and the last outdoor game
to be described here, is called " Waiting
for Her Darling" A woman waits for
her husband to spade up flower bed.
The Eastern question absorbs his whole
time. She goes out to WELD the spade
herself. The game is very brief. She
tries to dig in the spade by pressing
with both feet at once, and when she
gets up and dashes into the house she
realizes that she rolled over three times |
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-06-27

and barked her nose against the iron
vase, and that four carriages were right
opposite the house at the time. She
may have speech to deliver when her
husband comes to dinner, but the hus-
band wins the game-it is SO in the rules.
Detroit Free Press.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-06-27

The Correspondenc5a de EsponG
says that from the beginning of the Gu
ban insurrection up to January last
133, 555 soldiers died in the hospitals
from wounds or disease. and IL, 500 on
tie fields of battle; 37,726 were dis
charged; and about 100000 insurgents
were either killed in battle or shot after
being made prisoners.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-06-27
BATTLES OF LONG AGO.
Trifing Losses in the Continental Wars as
Compared With Those of Later Years.

a
Compared With Those of Later Years.
From the Cornhil Magazine.l
1t was the glorious epoch, that of the
peninsular war Nine-tenths of the
names embroidered in golden letters on
our ree1mental colors were won in the
i've years intervening between 1909 and
1914 The story of that time has still
power to recall to us memories full of
the glories of battles won from Napo-
Icons greatest captains, of sieges in
which the terrible valor of our soldiers
was pre-eminent, of marches and feats
OF endurance never paralleled in our
modern history, before nor since. But.
though the battles of the peninsular war,
and still more the browning victory of
Waterloo, are household names among
us, we have wholly lost sight of a fact
that, at the time, did much to influence
the national Joy over our victories; that
fact was our long-continued failure in
any portion of Europe to oppose the
legions of the republic or empire. On
the coast OF France, in the low countries,
in Flanders, in Sicily, in Corsica, in Ma
pies, at Genoa we had utterly failed to
maintain our own attacks. In Egypt
alone had our land forces been success
full, and in Egypt every element of sue
cess was on our side. From 1893 to 1909
we had not single result to show on
the continent of Europe for the $780,
900, 900 which we had added to the ma
tional debt in that period. Our expedi-
tons to France, Spain, Portugal, Hol-
land, Italy and Corsica had all ended in
complete failure. It was on this &C.
count that the victories of the following
years appeared SO glorious. The nations
faith in its army had reached it's lowest
ebb, and the reaction of victory was pro-
portionately great.
But the greatness of the success in
Spain and at Waterloo did much toward
hiding from view then and since the act
ual losses we sustained. When we here
state that our entire loss in killed in
Spain, Portugal and Flanders, including
all battles, engagements, skirmishes,
sieges, and sorties did not amount to the
loss in killed suffered by the Germans in
the two battles of Gravolotte and Sedan,
we state fact which will doubtless as
tonish many readers. Yet it is never
| theless true. A statement of our actual
losses during the years from 1903 to 1916
inclusive will be read with interest in
these days OF breech-loaders
1903, including Rolica and Vimiera .... 1872
l8O9, including Talavera.. TIT
lSlO including Busaco, etc. :. 159
1oll, including Barossa, Albuera, et'......1 ,40I
| 1872, including Ciudad Rodrigo Badajoz, Sal
amanca Burgos, ETC. IL $3.50
| 1913, including Vittoria, Pyrenees, San Sebas-
tian, Nivelle and Nive. ....................22 34
lol including Orthez, Toulouse ......... 672
1915, including Quartre Bras and Waterloo. 829
1884
But from this total must be taken
l,378, the number of foreign soldiers
killed in our service. leaving 1879 as
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-06-27

AT this season of the year many valu-
able COWS die from what is known as the
!" clover bloat, and it may be we'll to
know some simple remedy. A physi-
clan in Davenport, Iowa, says tlrpen-
tine will cure nearly every case. One
fourth of gill is an ordinary dose.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-06-27
go
But from this total must be takel

I,378, the number Of foreign soldiers
killed in our service. leaving 1876 as
the entire loss in killed during the whole
war in Spain and Portugal, together
with that of Quartre Bras and Waterloo.
Six thousand men killed in the entire
peninsular war Not half the Russian
loss at Eylau, less than the Russian loss
before Plevna, less than half the French
dead at Waterloo.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-06-27

Mrs. ELLA KEATS CRUTcHER, grand
niece of the poet Keats, died recently in
Louisville, KY.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-06-27

| rather agreed with Walta as she stood
in high confusion before me. her ewes
still misty, her sweet lips quivering.
1t was sore wrench to give her up,
but [ was not quite an idiot, and I SAID,
gravely:
"But your father?"
Yes, I know; he III make real storm.
But then his storms don't last long, and
maybe you would tell him that you have
changed your mind. You have, haven't
your"
I" Yes; the last half hour has quite
changed my matrimonial views"
could not help smiling, and the next
momens two arms encircled my neck, a
warm kiss fell upon my cheek, and Nan
ME cried: ~
You are perfect darling, perfect
darling, and I shall love you dearly all
my life"
So when / lost her love gained it.
She fitted away presently, and I gave
myself good mental shaking up. and
concluded my FOOLS paradise would soon
have vanished if I had undertaken to
make an old lady out of Mamie.
Johns wrath was loud and violent.
He exhausted all the vituperative, Ian
guage in the dictionary and then sat
down, painting and furious.
"Come, now" I said, "what is the
objection to young Bruce? Is he poor ?"
No, confound HIM He inherits
The Van Buren press., 1878-10-22
Penalties.

The penalty OF popularity is envy.
The penalty Of thin shoes is cold.
The penalty of tight boots is corns.
The penalty Of baby is sleepless
nights.
The penalty Of 4 pretty cook is IN
empty larder.
The penalty Of godfather 10 silver
knife, fork end spoons.
The penalty Of kissing baby 10 half =
dollar one dollar If you are liberaD to
the nurse,
The penalty of interfering between
man and wife 10 abuse, frequently accom-
panied with blows from both.
The penalty Of remaining single is
having no one who cares button for
you a. is abundantly proved by the state
Tie penalty Of buying cheap clothes IS
the same as that Of going to law--thc
certainty of losing your suit, and having
to pay for it,
The penalty of legacy. or q fortune,
10 the sudden discovery OF q host of poor
relations you never drempt OF, and Of
number Of debts you had quite forgot
ten.
The penalty Of lending is-with book
or an umbrella, the certain loss of it /;
with your name to bill, the sure pay
ment Of it; and with a horse, the lamest
chance Of ever seeing it back again
sound.
The Van Buren press., 1878-10-22
Women's Treatment Of Women.

There is general sentiment that wc.
meu do not stand by each other. ~ men
do by meu that We are envlous narrow
and small, where our sex IL concernedi
thst the greatest obstacles professional
women have to overcome are the prcdju-
dices Of women themselves; that II .
woman commits . fault, nobody 10 %
quick and ready to heap opprobrium upon
her ~ another woman. All this 10. to =
certain extent, unhappily true but it 10 BY
NO means generally true. The fashion OF
women sueering st women 10 passing into
dirseputs; 90 that nowadays, no womaa
Who expects to pass - well bred lady
guilty Of the bad taste Of speaking dis
paragingly or slightly Of her own sex.
Now and then ono does It, thinking there
-sssss 49,. .s-~ sAs s-s.ess. ~ ..>~ - -
doing She can make no greater mistake
Men admire large-mindcdness aud largo
hartedness In women, quite o. much -
women admire those qualities 10 men.
The more strongly aud loyalty women
stand by one another, the more respect
fully they treat and speak Of one anoth-
er.-Msry A. +. Wager.
The Van Buren press., 1878-10-22
Don't Fret.

II you feel mad, let it all out a once
that is, II you can't keep it 10 alto
gether. don't say that you can always
Judging from experience. l have tried
it, aud now and then have succeeded; AMI
now and then I--haven't. But you have
q great many worries, yon say. l don't
doubt It nor do doubt that you need
them. Your patience would not grow il
It we're not tried The law Of muscular
development applies to the vituss. Only
by exercise are they developed. | know
how things in the household, in the store.
and on the farm, will get miexd up. Moth
ing goes right. Nothing comes 70 time.
Work don't get on half ~ fast - IL
should, And-yes; l know all about
it; but nevertheless still say, " Don't
fret"
Ffetting never helps You. nor youe
children, nor your servants. Fretting
never makes the kettle boil quicker, Or
the biscuit bake we'll, or the bank account
grow.
Especially don't fret abont things
ahead.
Sufficient for the day is the evil there
of'-Golden RIle.
The Van Buren press., 1878-10-22
[Vo1. 16.---No. %

some carefully mstured system, which
we cheerfully undertake to furnish Ct
half price. The FIRST step In the right d.
rcction is to cut ofY--stop--your paper.
This will save you $3.50 or e2,00a year.
which, at 10 cents . drink, will furnish
from fifteen to twenty straights''-one .
day for two or three weeks. II yous
trousers need patching where your rud.
der would be located II you were hsh-
ing-snack or an iron clad gunboat, let II
be done with heavy goods Of some d.
verse color; flannel 10 always convenient
and elegant. II the band drops Oh your
WOODEN hat, do not put it back; It looks
farmer like Without Stint your wife's
calico, and your chill ircn's schooling;
these are simply luxuries that can be sa
silly dispensed with. Have rags Of vkri-
ous hues, but never clean ones, stuffed in
I'll your windows whore The glass y bro
ken, bns particularly IN tho front ones.
Sunday mnrnia0 Il 0l4An AnnnOh AAnAnnDhs
your bair. Try to got your whole fsse
washed Mondays and Thursdays; but
this 10 only . suggestion. Don't bother
about your fences. Ir they ars down.
let them get up II other peoples cattle
come in and destroy your crops. shoot
the deprsdstors, and then 60 over and
quarrel With their owners, and wind mp
with $500 law suit Lot your surplus.
fruit rot In the orchard, and leave oil
your plows aud implements out In fur
row OF fence corner during the winter. II
10 always easier 10 buy new ones than
to oil up old ones. Oppose railroads IL
Is 90 much more like the good old styles
10 drive your umbsring wagon over sev.
enty Ave or . hundred miles Of mud.
grubs. rocks aud cling holes. and then Il
caves freight money and the hellabclloo
Of whistles aud depots.
We might give similar rules from now
till the millennium. but these will prohs-
bly, suffice for The present, and No pause
10 receive . grateful peoples maledic-
tions,
The Van Buren press., 1878-10-22
JeHcrson's Ten Rules.

We seldom repent OF having eaten VOC
little. .-..4.s.-
Never spend your money because Jos
have 1t.
Take things always by the smooth
handle.
Pride costs more than hunger. tnirst
and cold.
Nothing is troublesome that We do will
ingly. "A.
Put not of till tomorrow what You can
do to-day.
Never trouble another for what yoa
can do yourself
Never buy what you don't want because
it is cheap
How much pain the evils have cost %
that never have happened.
When angry. count ten before you
speak; II very angry, count . hum
bred
The Van Buren press., 1878-10-22

to reply. The gondolier resumed his
oars and commenced rowing toward the
city.
+" Wonderful mani" exclaimed the
Count, Of last, at 10 pity that such a
piece of skill as that should be forever
lost !"
Have no anxiety upon that point my
lord was the reply in about three
hours that boat and woman will return to
the surface, and shall be- on the spot TO
receive it,
~ do not see," said the Count, uus.
ingly, "why l mistook the figure for Sig.
nora Ludovco 7"
alt is because the figure is perfect
likeness of that lady"
The Count started to his feet, motion
ing to the gondolier to cease rowing. He
then extended bis hand.
" You are not only wonderful gent.
u.s." said he, but | perceive you are Z
f~isnd 4..l ...i..4, 1.-.-..----4--44.-.
"Your father, my lord" responded the
boatman, "sayed my father from An igno
minious death. More over, a. another
reason of my attachment to your lord.
ship, my betrothed is in the service OF
Signora Ludovico, Perhaps"-he added
suggestively--'perhaps. when your lord.
ship weds your ladyship-"
You and tho bride you have chosen
shall not be forgottcnv interrupted the
Count, again pressing the band Of the
bOatman.
4 conclusion, We have only to say that
that the Count Lontano and the countess
are living in elegant style upon the grand
canal of Venice. Each has a faithful aud
confidential servant
As the mystery OF the Esprit of the
LIDO to the generality of the Venetians
il 10 as dark as ever, A few of them,
however, have gained an idea BY seeing
the automston gondolier in the Vatican,
where you may see it at your leisure, the
next time you visit the Eternal City,
The Van Buren press., 1878-10-22

An exchange praises very large egg,
which, it says, was 'laid on our table
by the Rev. DR.. Smith, Brother Smith
seems to be layman as we'll as a preach
sr.
The Van Buren press., 1878-10-22

Seth Green's experiment Of stocking
Lake Ontario with shad has resulted 10
the Matching Of millions Of them; but.
although they were first put there seven
years ago, they do not grow above eight
inches long, and nre not fit for foed,
They furnish excellent feeding for pick
erel and bass. and fishermen complain
that these fish will not take halt a.
formerly, SO stuffed are they with young
shad,
The Van Buren press., 1878-10-22

The Postal DECISION want you
to distinctly understand, SIR" began q
Third street wife as, her husband came
home and tossed into her lap anopen let
ter, addressed to her personally-"I want
you to distinctly to understand that !
read the papers"
do, ell p was the careless reply.
Eyes, sir. do; and know that the
Postmaster general has ruled that hus-
band has no control over his wife's cor
rcspondence. Here. sir. you have, for the
fifth or sixth time opened letter address.
sed to me personally"
Yes, know IT," lie demurely replied
and fer the fifth or sixth time l have
written across the envelope: Opened by
mistaker If that doesn't cover the case
you can appeal! !"
She didn't appeal, but she's going to
rent lock-box.
The Van Buren press., 1878-10-22

When Chinese makes love to q white
girl he doesn't rave about how his heart
pants for her, etc. No, he simply tells
her he loves her better than he does rats,
and she believes him.
Mamma, can't wo have anything
we want ?" Yes, my dears; but be
careful and don't want nything you can't
have"
A greenback orator shouts; Give Va
greenbacks. ere we starvcl' Waiter,
pass the watermelon that way, the wild
eyed son of toll wants nourishment"
Zeb Vance was once asked what he
thought Of the financial speeches Of Mer-
riman in the Senate. He said: p" know
very little about finance; all know is
that it two names 4 sight better, than mine
to get money at bank"
Abba, Iowa, has a 5.year old girl who
weighs 100 pounds.
II names go for anything, the sweet
est girl in America 10 Miss Saccharissa
Sorghum, of kokomo, Ind.
A Cincinnati man is responsible for
the following: Some years ago at the
funeral Of friend, was seated in a
carriage with person who in face car
ried all the habilimcnt Of woe. ! was
not aware he was acquainted with the
deceased. l became inquisitive. Says
I, Are youa relation ?" No" "a
friend p mo" In Yankee fashion, !
said, why attend his funeral and look
so sad p He said, "In fact, ON troub
led with dyspepsia. My doctor advised
me to ride. sm too poor to hire a
carriage, and therefore ride free to fun
erals" A cheerful situation for dys.
peptic, we should say.
The Van Buren press., 1878-10-22

Paris wit "If should marry Eliza
Jane" said the prospective son in law.
IL should frankly confess one thing in
advance-l am Of a rather hasty temper.
and apt to get mad without cause"
"Oh, tbatll he all right blandly replied
the dear old lady; II will 60 and live
with you, and I'll see that you always
have a cause"
The Van Buren press., 1878-10-22

CALI AND SETTLE.
Daily Los Angeles herald., 1878-08-06
An Evening Call.
detroit Fren press.l

"Gem'len,u said Brother Gard.
ner, as he rose up and placed his
hand on a copy of The Great Ora
tors of Maddgascar-"gem'len de
ole woman war out to deliver de
washin' de oder night, an l drap-
ped over to see the Wild Ter John
sing fur few minits. sat down
on de frunt steps in the deepnin'
twilight, an while de skeeters
sailed around frew the sleepy at
mosfere, axed de wi,lder why 1t
was dat de man who does de moas'
blowin' about hard times hez the
leas' to lose by panic; an she
showed de goldfillin' in her tcef cz
she sweetly replied;
"'Misser Gardner, dar will be
tatur bugs jes' ez long ez dar am
taturs.'
"De sof' clouds sailed across the
azure surface of de bewtiful moon,
an 1 axed de widder why the
church preachers stood up in deir
pulpits an wept over the heathens
in China, but forgot to even heave
sigh ez dey passed base ball, dog
hts,jumpin' matches, an naybor-
hood rows on DER way home; am
de widder she shined up her brass
rings with her apron an replied:
Misser Gardner, all butchers
may be honest, but all butcher
scales may not weigh sixteen ounc-
es to de poun'. 1t am powerful
easy fur us to fin fault with Older
peoples noses an jes like US to
forgit dat de ends of our own turn
up"
'I sat dar in de increasin' dark
ness, feelin' a goneness for de want
of sweet turnip to eat, an I aXed
the widder why de man who doan'
mean to squar up wild his grocer
am jes' de chap who finds fault wild
de size of quart measure; an she
lodged pinch-beetle an replied:
'Misser Gardner, dis woruld am
so constitooted dat de dog which
barks de loudest gifts de moas'
bones. Money am powerful good,
old man, but de nex' bes' fling to it
am good pair o. lungs am plenty
o. surface between de eye an de
chimp
"Gemlen, ez soon ez de ice goes
outen de river an l git leetle
time to fink, I'ze gwine to dwell
on sech fots ez de above, an fgger
up couclushuns wild soft pencil.u
Daily Los Angeles herald., 1878-08-06

be succeeded at the California to-
morrow night by Maggie Mitchell.
Haverly's Minstrels also open to-
morrow night at the Bush street
theater.
THE SENSATIONAL AND ILLEGITI.
MATE DRAMA.
Week before last an extrava-
gaDza entitled from "Singapore TO
Suez" held the boards at The
Baldwin. 1t is little on the order
of Jules Verne's Ground the World
in Eighty Days." and only the
thinnest venering covered the stu
pidity and unrealiiy of the piece.
1t was very light of its kind, its
kind is very bad; and it was ver-
liable weariness of tho flesh to sit
it through. 1t was succeeded by
"The Long Strike" u lugubrious
affair founded on the labor troubles
of Manchester, England. This lat
ter was only redeemed by capital
piece of acting by Stoddard, who
personated the eccentric Money
penny. Mr.. Charles E. Locke,
whom Angelef1os will remember
pleasantly, has been running Tony
PASTORS combinations, aud TO good
houses. Locke always is and al
ways deserves to be successful.
Tony Pastor is the same unadul-
tsrated humbug he always war,
and he can still extract the same
amount of applause from the same
class of people as Of gore. He al
ways appears with some catchpen-
ny pieces of doggerel adapted to
each new city he visits, and there
are always enough insane people
to applaui him. His speciality this
time is "Baby Mine" Unless 1
am nightly mistaken, although
his company purports to hail from
New York, 1 recognized amongst
the lady performers Miss Kitty
Henderson, formerly attached TO
Woods Opera House, in your city.
ANGELENOS HERE - APPOINTED
RECEIVER.
Mr.. Ben. Cohn and Mr.. Cohen,
the proprietor OF the Fashion cigar
stand, are here, as are also Mr.. J..
M. Griffith, wife and family, who
are temporarily absent from the
city. Mr.. Griffith is stopping ut
the Occidental. Mrs. J. de Barth
Shorb and family have Joined Mr..
Shorb at the same hotel. daily
meet with Mr.. S.W. Knapp, whom
Angelefios remember pleasantly.
Yesterday Judge Hoffman APP
pointed Mr.. Richard Garvey Re-
ceiver in the Temple & Workman
estate. Mr.. Garvey informs US
that he will leave for the orange
grove city in few days.
J. d. l..
San Francisco, August 4, 1873.