San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1878-12-21

were upon one foot; and tho disguised |
victim of the "sell," appealing to his
readers, asked: "Are these subjects
which ought to be discussed in organs
whose duty it is TO mould public opin-
ion" Another worthy, Of whom an
enemy affirmed that he had Just made
the strange discovery that he could wag
his loft ear, did not condescend to i'm
peach the truth of the statement, but
made matters even by declaring the
man who gave it currency had both his
aural appendages under such control MS
to be able to fan himself with them in
hot weather.
An American writer is only too pleas
ed to catch brother tripping. When
one journal talked in its leading article
of "buttered thunder" contemporary
politely desired to know if that had any
affinity to "greased lightning;" forcing
the explanation that by a typographical
error "muttered thunder" was the arti-
Gle intended.
When a Western editor wrote, "We
arc living at this moment under des-
potism," his opponent kindly explained:
"Our contemporary means to say he has
lately got married" A newspaper writ
er asserts that his ancestors had been in
the habit of living hundred years; to
which another responds: "That must
have been before the introduction of
capital punishment" The proprietor Of
a Western journal announced his inten-
ton of spending $50 on "a new head"
for it. Don't do it," advised rival
sheet: "better keep the money, and buy
new head for the editor" that gentle
man being evidently, in its opinion, "a
young man of frugal mental capacity"
as an Oregon journalist delicately term
ed another.
Mr.. Gumbs sought to enlivcn the
good people Of Cambria county, Pa,
through the medium of lively, spicy,
vigorous, fearless and entertaining pa
per called the Cambria Milky Way. He
succeeded in making things lively--very
lively-for himself. In his first number
he called the editor of an older journal
names which we cannot repeat. He
stigmatized the Mayer as corrupt mag
istrate, whose torrents from mental re-
morse were only surpassed by the physi-
cal agony he endured as theconsequence
of his depraved debauchery. He mild
ly alluded to the Postmaster rs an off,
cial Dick Turpin, whose populations
could only be compared to the terrific
robberies committed in times past by
those Spanish buccaneers whom he so
closely resembled in general character;
and finished off by delicately announc-
ing that well-known young lady, in re-
iecting certain young man, had done
the wisest thing possible under the Pc
culiar circumstances of the case. In tho
next issue of the Milky Way its patrons
were informed that the editor had found
it impossible to so out to collect news
items, because the Mayor, the editor of
the Cambria Mercury, the Postmaster,
Alexander Jones, and a number of other
individuals, were sitting on the curb
stone and roosting around on the back
fence with shot-guns and other murder
GUS weapons, and looking as if they were
in earnest! That same night Mr.. Gumbs
slipped down on water-spout and de-
parted for Kansas-more fortunate than
his brother out in the far West, whose
organ, in announcing its own demise,
said: sour editor has lately disappear
ed. According to the latest information
he was last seen under tree, slightly
raised above certain persons who were
pulling at ropc'--a way of stating
| Lynch law that could hurt nobody's
feelings, while. as a friendly tribute to
the departed, it was almost as touching
as the Foxtown Fusilier's: "Wc stop
the press with pleasure to announce the
deeeasc of our contemporary, Mr..
Snaggs, the editor of the Foxtown Flash.
He has now gone to another and better
world. Persons who have taken the
Flash will find the Fttsilier good pa
per.