The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1878-08-02
SIFTINGS.
A righting book-The dictionary

Paying Observation-Disclosures visits
The most popular General-General
Holiday.
Dead see fruit-The apple of blind
mans eye.
When fireman "banks" his fire does
he become banker?
Men who like to have their work broken
up, are said to be GLACIERS.
When is small baby like big bank
er 2-When he is wroth.child.
Strange that landsman generally spars
better than sailor!
It's long lane that doesn't fetch IN
with short turn near country tavern.
Man glories III his strength; woman in
her hair, and boarding house butter in
both.
Why are balloons in the air like vaga,
bonds because they have no visible
means ofsupport.
What is the difference between hungry
man and glutt'n 7-One longs to cat, the
other eats too long.
Al recent church raf1e in Nevada one
man drew crowbar. That's nice kind
-of pry's to offer.-Consm Catl5n.
An aged African, III describing how he
felt when he took hold Of a galvanic bat
terry, said, My voice clung to my jaws
A soldier can smooth his way to promo
eion by scraping close acquaintance with
the right and lett files of his company.
We have young friend who is so co.
piously freckled that be makes . good
thing of it by hiring himself out as grain.
er to the trade"
When you hear them talk Of 'a horse
marine" yon may depend upon it there Is
no reference made to sailor with sore
throat.
The sparrows are all numbered, and SO
will the swallows be when the jingle of the
Noffets register is heard throughout the
land.
When the train stops FIVE minutes for
refreshments at Troy. N. Y, the thirsty
ones all start for their drains, knowing il
to be Troy wait.
A person who had obtained free rail
road pass asked the road agent if "he
could not embrace his wife" Probably, :"
the official answered, "but | prefer to see
hea before pr" nising positively"
Servant ito Irish laborer): "Hera is
some beer, PAT, if you care to have it; but
I'm afraid it's quite dead" Pat: "Oh,
dead, is it Sure, then, darlint, it's I'm
The boy to bury it u
well, Mary, you know if you marry
Terence you Il have to keep a pig and
wash, etc, etc." Mary-"Yis, deed, I
will if | marry Terence, an dirty pig.
too; so go home, Mr.. Kinshild, an tell
Terence | told you SO.
Prisoners in the Connecticut State Pris-
on get reduction in time Of two months
from each year of their term, BY cool he
havlor. This to man serving life sent
ence must amount to considerable at the
end of his time.-Danbury Nescs.
A wicked Connecticut man being recent.
i taken i'll, aud believing he WAS about to
die, told neighbor he felt the need of
preparation for the next world, and would
like to see some proper person in regard
to 1t; Immediately the feeling friend sent
for fire insurance agent.
One was Baptist. and the other was
Congregationalist. The waiter asked them
what they would order. "a little dipped
toast, said the Baptist. "You may give
Tue toast, also said the Congregationalist,
cheerfally; "but doh't dip it--sprinkle
with little butter
A little three year old, whose father did
not use razor, vas recently, while on
visit 10 an aunt, greatly interested in see
ing her uncle shave. After watching him
intently for few minutes, she said, Uncle
what do you do that for7 Papa don't,
wash his face with little broom and wine
it with knife
4 Frenehnan was once sitting By ! hum.
mer at the songs in a theatre "Thp
orufe, the animal, he mattered to him
self. "sir,' said the hummer, do you
mean me p Heaven forbidl'' he replied. |
! am complaining Of the tenor. whose
noise prevents me- from hearing you so
clearly as should have wished"
Two Methodist ministers we're beginning
. revival in neighborhood belonging 10
their circuit. During several evenings
shey were yexea BY the ill-tnanners Of the
audience, nany Of whom walked about in
the midst Of The services, Finally one Of
the two brought the trouble to an end vith
he happy criticism, We are travelling
preachers, my friends, but that il no sea.
son Why ve should hare traYeling con.
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