Connecticut western news., 1878-06-13
WIT AND WISDOM.

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 "A young man broke off an engage ment because his girl named her pet cali after him, .rr l7aa ] r,1ut .aa boD efat
 A young mans sweetheart having "soured on him." he now calls t'slhsa her his sweet tart. jo.tl ol ts.,E hh9 gud iud .'' Tt is not difficult to do good, for the means are constantly clustering about every mans lips and hands. soi 'adT
 An editor offers five dollars ufor the best treatise on How to make outdoor life attractive to the mosquito.H jI~
 ' Don't spank your children with tho bootiack. Itis too hard to hold. and apt to make bunions on your thumb 4 When you are sick it comes easy to promise all sorts of reformation, and when you recover it is just as easy to for oet them srf ei 4'., iua Nl" s7nd "sauj People generally regard religion as very necessary when one is dying and terribly intrusive and in the way oat all other times. '= Dt h'a" l 500 hnh Y ! To the American boy there is an awful, g majestic difference in the weight between the butt end of tish-pole and hoe-handle. '.I i.,i5 a .,.il v 19ai '9,i
 There are some things that always come up to scratch, and they are the seeds you have planted, when the hens get into the garden, sa ai n.,.5 . ,f8l .,
 An Indiana girl made six hundred dollars last year raising broom corn. How much better than raising family in fear of the broom handle. ,.. of .
 Birds are entitled to justice. 'g When man is indulging in 2 frollc to gay he is " out on lark, "isa libel on thatbird. He is really out on g swallow. sn1is
 1 In speaking of g baby ladies often exclaim "Oh isn't it too sweet for anything?" This is all mistakeF No baby is too sweet for paregoric,n yd They met; that is, she went to the store, | And made him turn his department OCT,
 iTill he vanished behind the goods, and then She pleasantly said she would call again. GA Eureka (Nevada) man thus summarizes his objections to the Moffet bell-punch :: "Who in blazes wants fire alarm turned on every time he takes @ drink P"ay a .'tT .rlrosgqu,f 10
 .a George asks, H How late should young man remain at his sweethearts house ?" Depends entirely upon how early in the evening the old man puts on his slippers. ,5t, H aa1 a s"}I&! .aia
 p A temperance paper-1h The Pledge- printed at Harrisburg, has suspended. l The editor, in his valedictoryy says he cannot live on wind, but must have at least one s' square" meal a week 4i
 -s.11l tell you how it was," said MT. Barelmeyer, dolefully. "When I went into partnership with that feller Skin nim I had the money, and he had the experience, but when we quit, he had the money and I had the experience. I When we are young we waste 3, great deal of time in imagining what we1 will do when we grow older, and when we are old we waste an equally amount of time in wondering why we waited so long before we began to do anything.
 A Germantown gentleman has dog that will not permit him to enter the | house if his wife is out of temper, The animal foresees s'time" between his master and mistress, and out of consid- eration for the latter prevents his en- trance. ., ...t..,...., ..., .,,.r,,
 "A soldier wrote to Chicago pension lawyer to learn whether man who. had been kicked by mule while in the ser vice could secure pension. The law yer replied that if the mule was feeling we'll and had a fair chance he didn't think he could. .s.v. H.,g.,s. sls.5,
 Nothing beats lightning for speed, unless it is the way boy jumps out of bed these mornings, when, after his mother has shouted herself hoarse for him to get up, he finally hears the tread of his daddy's boots upon the lowerstep of the stairs coming up. s,u s4aa3 Time makes all things even.) For ) twenty-seven years Q New Hampshire husband kept taunting his wife with the fact that her brother was once in tiail. , Last week his mother was arrested for setting barn on fire, and his wife sniffs and says, "Nice family you sprung from P a-s.&I +' ~JSa9s -" How did you come to know her ?'' } asked mother of her little girl Aas she saw her bidding goodbye to a poorly dressed child at the church. doof. .tftWhy you see, mamma, she came into our Sun day-school alone, and Imade asplaoe for her on my seat, and smiled and she smiled, and then we were acquainted. '" ' " FLY-TIME. '- Hear the buzzfng of the fly Bumbling buzz! o.e' p7aoi' L| What baleful botherationai sd.
 In its blubbing we descry! h wal
 When the busy day is born, ays6 In the first gray light of morn. a, How it humblcs
 ! As it tumbles '1T''+, '''"- 'S'A
 "E From the cciNng on our fsce; ;p"i T Or, soaring into space, 'a.!3a@s Il ,rst.- How 1t huns, is4gDA
 -. And it drums. H,.- arata,t
 And it bumsl ttg As we sit upright in bed, Or we cover up our head ''3s'-