The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-09-05
SENSE AND NONSENSE.
REVOLUTION leads to arnica.

SENSE AND NONSENSE.
REVOLUTION leads to arnica.
AMERICANS eat twice rs much salt -
the English.
ApA1N investment Fifty cents for
tooth-pulling.
THE sea-serpent says he could tail
unfold If he wanted to.
A MAN displeased with the world Is
never satisfied with himself.
CAN you call clerk in an oil-store .
serve-i1e fellow?-St. John Torch.
NEVER ask . young lady why her
back hair does not match that in front.
MANY q man who cannot write his
own name has made his mark in the
world.
WITHOUT big words some people
would find it impossible to say small
things.
LAZY men generally have double
chins. One may rest while the other
works.
How TO get money is one great ques-
ton with the people, but how to keep it
is another.
By rolling all night in hot bed .
man finds his sleep done to turn in
the morning.
The only people who really enjoy
bad health are the dOctors.-TMTners
Falls Reporter.
RUSSIA finds nearly all her dreams of
absolute power in Eastern Europe Dis
realized. Cincinnati Commercial.
YES, the earth is becoming cooler
every year, child, but so awful slow as
scarcely to be perceptible.-Graphic.
AMONG the disagrceable things in
this life is borrowing an umbrella and
finding the owner name on the handle.
"LEr me kick him for his motor" is
what the disappointed stockholders now
say about Keely.-Stan.tord Advocate.
81 FIND your recommendations very
good, Bridget" Eyes, nam, and
now I'll see yours, nam, If you place. +"
WHY is dishonest bankrupt like an
honest poor man? Because they both
fail to get rich.-C Chicago Com. Adver-
tiser.
To THE victors belong about one-six'
teenth of tho spoils. Ill take the other
| fifteen.-Beac0nsfeld, in the Detroit Free
Press.
Wells are not worn by quite young
ladies; they must not wear lace till
they are twenty-onc, or married.-M Y.
Graphic.
BOsTONrANs are not in favor of any.
thing outrc or unusual. They don't
like anything much out of the Common.
l-Graphic.
1T has been decided by a court in
Perthshirc, Eng, in case involving
the legal kinship of relatives, that .
brother is nearer of kin to q sister thar
is father.
SOMEBODY has discovered that when
ever the grain is cut and hauled in thu
tramp makes his appearance on the
stubble and demands work or bread
Brookville Democrat.
The presence of women is supposed
to soften social intercourse, yet tn,
Turks, who do not admit women int,
society, are the most courteous people
on earth.-PaW Mall Gazette.
A MAN is not really consistently fittet
for married life until he can satisfac
torily explain to a woman why it i
that, when off on business, he can new
er get to the station to return until tn,
train has gone.
THE next invention Edison is to at
tempt is q machine that will keep /:
woman's eyes closed during prayer
time, in church, when friend in tn,
pew in front has on a new frock.-
Kingston Freeman.
The "corsage bebe," which, whe1
translated, means the old-fashione'
baby waist which was once so general
ly worn, is again in favor, as well TO
handsome dresses as for the PLANE
ones made of wash materially. Y
Graphic.
MAKING the best of it is good rul,
for everybody. "What is the matter?'
asked lawyer of his coachman. eth
horses are running away, SIR" "Ca1
you not pull them up?'' 81 am afrai'
not" .sThen," said the lawyer, afte
judicial delay, "run into something
cheap"
In the course of street brawl, tn
other day, one of the disputants wa
heard to reiterate, with considerable
profanity. that he might be whipped
but he wouldn't be subjugated. /
seems that he miscalculated little o.
this point, as he was seen the next da,
going to a picnic along with his wife
and actually carrying the baby.--Break
fast Table.
"WHAT is the defendants characte
for truth and veracity?" asked Main
lawyer of witness. oval, now
squire, she alters used me fust rate
Ill be blowed if she didn't. As TO
voracity, squire, why bless you, tina
was her big holt. Why, I've seen tina
air girl eat whole" Here tn
Judge asked the witness if he under
stood the question.
A HERD-BOY, on receiving his wage
from his master, purchased a lantern
The master quizzed him rather sorel,
ON the point, and asked him what HI
intended doing with his lantern. I'm
gaun tae tax it wi me tae coort," wa
the reply. ~ never used tae taxi
lantern wi me tae coort," answered
the master. II thocht sae," muttere,
the boy; Eyer choice shows that"
EXCUSE me, MISS" said a polit.
old gentleman to an otherwise well
dressed young lady on Washington
street, "but are you aware that some
body has jammed your hat quite bad
ly?" Its all right, sir; it's a N,
Yark hat, and the fashion, reptile,
she, with toss of the head, as sh'
swept away, leaving the o. G. lookins
after her with stare of establishment
-Bostos Paper.