Connecticut western news., 1878-04-04
WIT AND WISDOM.

Haste trips up It's own heels, 1cttcrs and stops itself.
 Sow good thoughts and you will reap good actions.
 Behavior is a mirror in which every one shows his image.
 -l have been everything, says Sage, and it amounts to nothing.
 -Bashfulness is an ornament to youth, but reproach to old age.
 England anchors before Constanti- nople. Russia hankers after it.
 True happiness costs little; If it bc dear it is not of good quality.
 A Nevada man advertises the loss of round-headed blacksmith's hammer.
 If thou faint in the day of adversity thy strength is small. ll.-Proverbs xxiv. 10.
 -Politeness is money, which enriches not him who receives it, but him who dis penses it. .,..... ...
 The married ladies of Western city have formed "Come-home-husband Club" It is about four feet long, and has brush on the end of 1t. s.a
 The following was the decision in recent colored debate: "De committee decide dat de sword has de most pints and de best backin', an dat de whole ting is about stan of. "
 Life is not so full of attractions to the small boy of to-day as it was to his father. A generation ago there were nearly fifty circus shows on the road, but this year there are only thirteen.
 Little Alice's grandfather is almost @ centenarian. One of her companions one day asked her: "How old is your grandpa ?" "Hush ?" says she. Don't speak so loud. I believe God has for gotten him." ".@
 --One hiring lodging said to land lady, "I assure you, madam, am so much liked that never left. a lodging but my landlady shed tears" Per haps, said she, "you always went away without paying?" ...
 The mother-in-law finds defender in the San Francisco MoiI, which says, eff Adam had had mother-in-law to look after him and his wife, it is more than probable that to this very day we might have been all resident in one gar den." ......
 A philosopher says, We learn to climb by keeping our eyes not on the hills behind us, but on the mountains that rise before us" Another good way is to take a couple rods the start and try to beat an enthusiastic bull dog over nine-foot back yard fence. :
 Tt is human to doubt. Display sign with the inscription, Beware of Paint" and nine men out of ten wlu draw their forefngers across the newly painted surface to see if the sign IS not merely Gan invention of the enemy. The tenth man never learned to read. P
 A southern negro's hymn :-
 If you see Peter asleep at de gate.
 Kase de night befo he was up so lato,
 You needn't 'spect with your load ob sin,
 Dat you'll slip past him and steal right In;
 De angels always acts on dc squar, .-
 J
 There is a Russian proverb which saws that misfortune is next door to stu pidity, and it will generally be found that men who are constantly lamentlng their in-luck are only reaping the conse- ouences ot their own neglect, mlsman- agement, improvidence or want of apph- cation.
 A young man writes to say that he means we'll toward all creation, and yet he can not make friends. He wants to know how he may overcome his peculiar disposition and make it so pleasant and agreeable that others will be drawn to- ward him, instead of being repelled as now. There's only one chance for you, young man-be candidate.
 A physician to an inveterata smoker; You smoke great deal, sir?" "A great deal" "To excess?" "To ex- cess" "And don't you feel the bad ef- fects of itP" "Why, my hearing IS get ting little hard, my sight little de- fective, my memory little treacherous; then, too, in the morning when l awake, my hands are little paralyzed, but in the afternoon use them easily enough. A family is discussing the qualifiea- tons of gentleman who has presented himself as candidate for the position of son-in-law. There is some doubt, mas" much as some one has given the intend- ed the character of spendthrift. In- quiries are made among the tradesmen who knew him. One day the father comes in all radiant. " Make yourself easy, my child, I have seen his washerwoman. He doesn't owe her Q cent. Besides he doesn't pay her more than shilling week"
 A Dutchman being very sick, was told by his doctor not to eat cabbage. He disobeyed his doctor, and to the doc- tors surprise, found him improving. The doctor consequently decided that cabbage was good for everybody that had that particular complaint. Soon after ward an Irlshman and Yankee had the same symptoms. He immediately re- sorted to cabbage as remedy. The re- suit was, both died The doctor there fore changed the reading in his memo randum thus: Cabbage is good for Dutchman, but death to Yankee or Trishman."