Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1878-03-14
A Peep of Parker. Paradise
Cincinnati Breakfast Table.
eeGOod r,o,,


Good morin', mann. W., :.
Hotehkiss, I'm told Well. I'm NJ -sS Sir.
mons-Eliza Ann Simmons lT--, IN.
mans name is Dan Simmons he -
the wagon that moved YOU yestards,,
Ike Moffft owns the wagon, and Dan. YOU
see, teams for him by the month. We live
in the drab-colored frame over there. and
this mornin' says to F'lic-my Oldest
girl-says L, 'F'lic, [ b'lieve I'T nut on nv
sun-bonnet and run over and get aeouaint-
ed with Mrs. Hotchkiss,' saws I. sSbe
may feel kind o. lonesome just movin' in
among strangers so, an maybe a little
help about settlin' down would be ac-
ceptable to her. Says she, Mother. I
would, an so I've come over, you see, to
wish you may find it a pleasant home
here in FParker's Paradise, Though how
they come to call this part of the flat by
that name is more'n could ever make,
Iess'n its because old Parker owns the
most of it, an drives everybody out that
don t pony up the rent prompt an sharp.
hope, mann, the worry Of movin' hain't
give you headache, as it most generally
does me-
ssIFs very kind of you," said Mrs.
Hotchkiss, 'Eand I'm sure I'm very much
obliged to you. 1 hardly ever have the
headache, and we have got along first rate
about settling down. Didn't have very
much to settle, for that matter, and so it
wasn't much of job
''I hope you'll like it here,'' resumed
Mrs. Simmons. ''The neighbors are all
poor folks, like ourselves. There's few
of 'em pretty low down, an you'll hear
good deal of disturbance at nights some
times, with drinkin' an caronsin', but the
rest are all civil an try to do something
near right. I'd better caution you, though,
[ s'pose, against Mrs. Slocum, who lives
in the fifth house down toward the fill.
She's the worst poster to borrow and new
er pay back you ever saw. The only safe
way is to not let her get started with you.
She owes me six drawin's of tea, and no
end of starch, soap, coffee, flour, sugar,
butter, and so on, and she never thinks of
bringin' back tub till we send after it,
and then if you don't lend her everything
she wants she goes round talkin' about
you. Take FOOLS advice, and don't have
nothin' to do with her. AM then there's
the plasterer's wife, in that squatty,
smudgy lookin' little brick just over
there, with the gray pants in the broken
winder. She's another pest. If you've
| got any nice clothes, Mrs. Hotchkiss, I'd
advise you as a friend to keep 'em out o.
| sight, or that wOman'll be wantin' to wear
'em half the time. She never has any
thing decent herself, her husband bein'
a no-count loafer-an' it's wonder to
me how they get along at allan so when
she wants to go down town or anywhere
she'll get Mrs. Hedges alpaca, or maybe
| Mrs. Naoger's knickerbocker, Sally Stem
sons hat and Files cloak, an then when
she gets all ready, the way she will strut,
as if she didn't have borrowed stitch, is
the most aggravatin' piece of impudence
| anybody ever saw, less'n it's Jake
Thrum's wife-in the upstairs of the
| j'inin' house. She's the proudest vixen
in the row, an to see her away from home
you'd think her husband was pork-pack-
er, by the way she tiams out. Dress?
Well, 1 should think so. Her clothes is
rally elegant-that is, her outside ones
the very finest. The biggest part of
Jake's wages is packed on her back, while
they live on bread an cracklins nearly,
an there amt solitary thing in their
house [ wouldn't be ashamed to have in
my kitchen, an they amt got even so
much as a scrap of rag carpet on the floor.
EFI'm woman that never NEEDLES with
things that don't concern me, an if you
should live here ten years, Mrs. Hotch-
kiss, you'll never hear me scandalize my
neighbors, but Pm sorry I can't tell you
the same about old Mother Griggs, who
lives with her son an his wife in the back
part of that long broken-backed lookin'
buildin' just as you turn the corner. That
woman has an awful pizen tongue, an
keeps it goin' most seandalous. She talks
about erybody, an is always nosin' an
pokin' around to stir up devilment.
She'll talk to your face as though her
mouth was full of honey, but behind your
back she's bitter as gall. Most everybody
round here is 'fraid as death of her, cause
they b'lieve she's witch, an don't want
to get her down on 'em, for fear she'll
put some spell on 'em, Or make their chill
dren have fits, which she amt bit too
good to do. But see there she comes
now, a hobblin' over on her cane, to see
you, an must run back home, for told
File wouldn't stay but a minute, You'C
| better treat the old woman civil, an keep
on the good side of her, an don't for the
; world give her the least hint that I've
put you on your guard against her. DroI
D over an see me, just as often as you can
t Your chat has been real entertainin' Il
e me, an shall always be glad to see you
u an File will be tickled most to dealt
e when I tell her how cute the baby is
[ don't know as 1 ever saw pearter chill
!; of its age. But must go. Good morn
in"