Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1878-08-06
Pretty Good Joke ON lack.
.TLynchburo Press

[Lynchburg Press.
We have just been furnished copy |
of the following letters by an esteemed
and hasten to lay them
before our readers for their considera-
ton and edification. "Sallie" is right
smart girl, and we would be pleased to
get hold of some more of har letters to the
Bachelors and assumed LORDS of Crea-
ation," for she tells them few things
worth knowing:
BEDFORD SPRINGS, July 4, 1878.
Mfg Dear lack I've just got a letter
from Sallie, and I tell you she gives you
and I, and all the rest of Bachelordom,
Especially the young men folks) partic-
ular fits. When you once get a woman
up to the going off point you had better
take care. She is worse than a.blunder-
buss, and when she does aim tits hard
to tell who she is going to hit, for, ] be-
lieve in my soul, she can shoot round
corner.
The letter is so good I can't help
showing it. But you must not let liv-
ing soul know, else the boys ill tease
me to death. I all'wus knew Sallie was
clever, but I'll be hanged If / ever
thought she could write anything like
that-and [ sort think now she must
have stole it from Douglas Jerrold, or
some old Magazine. Anyhow, tits too
good thing for you, that's judge, not
to see. And. may be, it may be sort
of guide for you, to keep off the break
ers.
You know Sallie and I have been &C
quainted long time. 1 reckon longer
than we ought to be, without getting
closer, and she has been limiting pretty
strongly to me in that way. But like
yourself am not just fixed to get in
the moose yet-not that I wouldn't like
to be, but the fact is, yon know how
very modest am, and don't like the
idea of making a show of myself in the
church, and the boys making fun and
remarks at my expense. If could get
us, think l could stand it. But there
is nothing that pleases woman so well
as q new bOnnct-a church full of peo-
Pile and minister, and that's what
frightened me.
So you see I had to sorter back out 8
little in my last letter to her. and said
something about gossioing s0onae,a, "anC
that's what's the matter" But here's 6
copy of what got:
l., July LIST, 1878.
Dear Ill hardly know whether
I ought to call you Dear or not, aftel
such letter as you sent me last week.
[ really think you ought to be ashamed
of yourself for treating me in the way
you have done. After keeping my COM
pany and friendship for six long, long
years, and then to tell me about gossip.
ing indeed! You know ] never Cos
siped about you except to praise you.
But I now begin to find out, you are just
like the balance of men-always calling
us women pack of gossips. 1t is the
argument you use against us the often
est, and seem to think you can annihi-
late us with it at pleasure. We are shut
ont by the customs of society from talk
ing about commerce, international pol
icies, politics, hOrse-racing statistics,
rooster fighting, and other hightnned
matter, and we must talk about some
thing-or die.
You men make gossips of us by com
polling us to talk about little things, OF
not at all. How common it is fora young
sprat of a fellow, who has just begun to
feel his mustache tickle, and who has
perhaps escorted his first girl home from
an evening sewing society or party,
to flippantly talk about this. that. or
the other "old maids gossip in the
neighborhood-a sensible young wo
man. no doubt, who prefers to lead a
single life rather than trust herself to
the consolation and support of just such
a milk,and-water compound as he is.
Irespect and honor the marriage state,
but had rather be gossiping old maid
or even tegnaogant one, for my natural
life, and be obliged to drink vinegar
and wormwood for tea, than to join
hands and conditions with one of those
brainless and pen feathery LORDS Of
Creation" whose greatest boast is to
sheer at a woman.
Gossip and small talk are woaian's
privilege. If she NEEDLES with ethics
or affairs of State she is called strong
minded and is Immediately bounced
upon and snubbed without mercy.
Sallie Patterson has alwas considered
it privilege, and also duty, to watch
the proceedings in her neighborhood,
and to know what was going on: and
as long as she has the presence of mind
that she has now, she will watch and
show things up. There is thousan d
little irregularities in every neighbor-
hood that cannot be reached and ven
tilated only by a mild application of
gossip. A woman's gossip is not only
harmless, but is actually healthy, and
stands in the same relation to cruel
SANDERS that men indulge in 80 liberal
ly, as fragrant herb tea does to drench
of calomel and jaIap.
1t is quite common to call liz maiden
ladies "gossipiflg OLD maids" but I am
very certain that smart "old maid" in
any community, one who keeps her
eyes open to the windward of things in
general, is worth more, morally speak
ing, than the best detective you could
employ to keep the young folks out of
mischief, and to make it hot for the
older ones, who always want as much
watching as the young ones do.
Sallie Patterson is not ambitious to be
called Village Censor, but if sharp at
tention to what is proper and what is
improper, and what sinners do, and
leave undone, entitle her to the name
and character of "Village Gossip" she
accepts the title with pride, and will
endeavor to fill the duties of the office
up to the brim. N
I had rather be a gossiping old maid
IAN brawling politician or an idle
shoemaker. / had rather drink tea with
my sisters, and look into the affairs of
the neighborhood. and see if all things
are running straight, than to be cheat
ing somehow in horse trade, or be d
party to frivilons lawsuit, and spend
more money in sueing or being sued, in
drinking whiskey or smoking tobacco
while the lawsuit was going on, than it
would take to dress mans wife in al
paca for three years. 1t is very easy to
call us women pack of tea drinking
gossips; but the men will find out one
of these days that it is lust as easy for
Sallie Patterson to call them-and prove
it too-a pack of vain braggarts Il
Lords of Creation" forsooth! What
a big name for such small package =
Do the men ever gossip?
This is not meant for a conundrum,
but fair question that any one may
answer. |
How many shoemakers have we, who
might be mending the boots or shoes
which they promised to send home a |
week ago, if they did not feel compelled
to spend whole afternoons down at |
Spipe's, the tailor, gossiping about the