Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1878-08-22
VT and HztDzOr.

: How to keep cool-go. to the Nortl,
Poe. 'N
What is it tha, walks with its head down.
ward?. A nail in shoe
Why is a tybe-seiici' like Il cripple. Be-
cause ne can't get along withou: lis stick.
Edgar tawcett wishes. that ..man could
make love like Il bird" He does, sEdy;n,
lie coes-Ake Il goose.-Bu.tnstou Hawk-
than it is long. IhiS SHOWS
diet will do for the train.-Nev Harea
Register.
Old Nebuchadnezzar was mo lover Of
card playing. The good book says he
came down .,at-footed.on ''all iours."
Why is it that person, after reading
the medical advertisements in L newspa-
per. involuntarily glances at the column OF
deaths:
\ Paris doctor holds ''that :; peculiar
condition of the atmosphere may so in
fuence Il man that lie will sCci0 to be il
toNicateG.
1t is a very singular fact that all the shoes
manufactured in the United States, when
they are shipped from the manufactures,
are boX-stoWed.
"A schooner of beer for five cents" is
translated by French newspaper SO as to
read. I'm America you can get u boat full
uf beer tor five ceuts:''
One reason Why more people did not get
, into the ark is u.;t Noah neglected to ati-
ver,isc in tie papers. There is great
moral lesson contained in this fact.
We don't know why it is, but in CON-
mon with other distinguished Journalists,
: we like to locate our jokes as far away
| from home as possible:
, A cotempolary asks: ''Did you ever
!, hear of a striker getting rich?'' Yes, plenty
of them. They were blacksmiths, and at
, ways struck While the ilon was hot.
!, The parson in tic pulpit stands,
! His locks are thin and gray;
J. lie bends lis head, lie clars his hands,
S And springs upon Lis pray:
y Singular. isn't it, that convicts escape
e from Sing Sing right under the nose of the
watchman? And low could they escape
ore1 his nose:
The man Who begins Il newspaper card,
{ NV attention has been called,' is i self
c proclaimed idiot. Men Of common sense
e see things for themselves, and don't lie
e about them.
u Folks who can't understand why robins
are sent to eat.up all the cherries, sii6uld
- can't understand why human beings are
= sent to do the same thing.
The man who carries around the :ontri-
button box in church ought to be supreme
" happy. He can see how Eiuch every
! one puts in, and no one can tell how muclf
Il he takes out-of lis pocket to put in it.
- - NO n,an." says Mrs. Darlington, ''was
~ better calculated to judge pork than my
, poor husband; tie knew what good hogs
II were, for lie had been brought up with tiI
>, from childhood"
a. Wilson, the celebrated vocalist, was up
N set one day in his carriage hear Edinburgh.
" \ Scotch paper. after recording the acci-
", dent, said: I'VE are happy to state he
III was able TO appear the following evening
in three pieces"
m sam, you are not honest. Why do you
st put all the good peaches on the top OF the
81 measure, and the little ones below" ''Samc
ba reason, sab, dat makes de front OBJ your
e- house marble and de back gate chiefly s!op
tie bar'l, sah.''
ed The young man who goes to the barber
re and has his head shaved has y pleasant f,i-
up ture before him. Bank presidents, mil
IS. l;onaire phlanthropists and retired mei'
Is charts are always looking Tor just suc
TO chaps to give them lift.
int IL never sot my mind to writin' p6etr!
1t till two years ago" said Il young rttralist
th fitting back in grocery chair; but the
Fly minute took to goin' with that Joiir.sol
girl, by gosh. l couldn't help it,
1t is a satisfaction to an editor to learn
sometimes, that his licks are felt-even i
he has to read his knowledge on the toe o
ize an infuriated boot.-.St. PaM Dispatci.
nat This is philosophical. The editor of tn
no Dispatch had just been publicly kicked b..
is one Albert Armstrong, Esq, who had
tie grievance.
ne 4 physician in country town, who ha
bic been annoyed by numerous questions cor
uu- cernlNp tHe CONuit.OH Va i l'1ii.CHt, 10
;ell stopped. while on his busy rounds, by
sky man with tie old question: Flows N:
ILL., replied the physician. docs l.
18th keep his bed?' "Ot course he does. ,Yo
the don't suppose he's fool enough to sell III
,;n- bed because he's Ill, do you"
'als A young Oil Citizen calls his sweetheal
Revenge, because she is sweet.-OA Gu
eao Derrick. And the young married man c
nah South Hill calls his mother-in-law Della,
Heo because she is dangerous. - BartingtC
oic- Hatckere. And South End man calls p
'ieii wife Fact, because she is stubborn thin:
ac- boston GEo.e. And fourth wife OF
''''i district attorney calls him Necessity, b
cause he knows no law.--Nett OrteaI
Tines. And Cincinnati man named b
'irG. coachuan Pr0crastnatioi, because he sto
the his watch.-Breakfast ~ '' And Syr
eyes cusc man calls his wife Sluggard, bcca',
idg- she gets mad and gees 10 her aunt evel
easy time he stays OFT to the iodgc.-Syraet'
to Times. And Y onkers man calls ilis Wi
'ood Fraiity because Shakespeare says, 'Fraii,
zen thy name is won;:n. Yoake1s Gaze
ody And !. New York Insurance agent calls !
wife Honesty. because it's the best polio
are -Nesy ForA H-rald.
lie Il -- -->-.<o.-s-------
born Electric Hight grows steadily into pub
lses notice, anil there Is every indication ii
i.,,,. a., shall r..tlly Enow wbct