Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1878-12-19
WIT AND HUMOR.

Which is better, to die eating or diet.
Crash in the dry goods business--tow-
els.
Fall opening ga dozen raw on the half
shell.
The cloce of the day is too light gar
ment.
The sky, unlike man, is most cheerful
when the bluest
Oh, yes. Edison's light to the eyes is
the light of future daze.
A cold in the head is generally OBJ
tanned by the contract system.
The business of rag gathering is pick
ing up.-Neao Orleans Picayune.
To remove paint fsom door posts Back
up agaist it when tits fresh.
The canvass made by politician may
be for sale.-New Orleans Picayune.
The nearest some men ever come to a
buck-saw is when their teeth are on edge.
The holiday season approaches, when
young man must show his gift enter
prise.
tits quite appropriate that new books on
Pottery should be illustrated with plates.
The fat man who wants to become an
ti.fat should study the architecture of a
lean-to.
The man who pays in advance cannot
be trusted. Let this be warning.-N.
O. Pic.
bouquet is good centre-piece for
the dinner table.-Boston Commercial Bull
liti,.
Whisky is about the only enemy man
has succeeded in really loving an6usg
Meas.
Layman- A man who halts between
two oppinions is lame on both sides of
the question.
With many Of our contemporaries, last
years jokes are this shea's jokes-New
YorA Neaos.
The fellow whe got intoxicated with
delight has been turned out of the tenn
perance society.
Those cordial Michigan lumbermen
are again slspping buzz saws on the back.
~. 2. Graphic.
Economy is wealth. Even the stove
pipe is coming out with last winters
soot.-B0ston Transcript.
A writer may draw on his imagination
for good story but the draft is not al
ways honored.-N. 0. Pic.
"Here lies'-any graveyard will furn-
ish you abundant opportunities to see
how the tom bstones do it.
A Western paper explains. 1t didn't
mean to say that "Mavor Shocks was
tight,' but that he was right.
There wouldn't have been any milk in
the cocoanut if some of our dairymen
had the construction of it.
The only finished thing in connection
with the Washington monument is the
''fund. "--Chicago Journal.
The Press club of Boston have been
enjoying big dinner. il was stuffed
club when the repast was over.
The title of "A. B." is very cheap in
Detroit. 1t has practical significance
there, meaning "a hummer"
Resurrection day will have to take a
back seat unles, this body-snatchlpg
business is stopped.-N. 2. Star.
Which is the oldest, the man who
| asks question or the man who answersi
The man who asks, because he is tine
querist.
The New York burglars and grave
robbers only need newspaper organ tc
secure them firm footing and fair share
| of business.
What is the difference between a Ger.
tain Emperor and drunken man2 Ones
Titus an emperor, the other tight as 8
brick.
"What do you want to shoot quail on
the ground for?" bowls a sporting journ,
al. On the ground that we can't hit am
anywhere else.
p A vlrdant old lady in New JERSEY
thinks the ice crop will be. good this
year, because there hasn't been much
frost to injure it.
The borrowing fiend, who is always q
little short of change, is an enemy tc
whom no quarter should be shown
Neao Orleans Psc0yune. :. - 49,
"Gentlemen, there's no use TALKING. !,
remarked the man to a crowd on a corner
and then he talked away for half an houul
without pause. |.
I Some little time ago Sunset Cox told
the world "Why we Laugh.p Il is now
time for him to finish his job and inform
the public why We weep. al
The upstart that rose to a point IF or.
der after nsittingdown upon the aggressive
end OF pin was assured by the chai1
that the point was we'll taken. -
A thief who fell into a fit Of ABSTRACTION
and gotlost in thought, after wandering
9 while in his. own mind, found himself al
last in the arms Of q policeman. I>.-< =
A hard-money enthusiast SAYS he. neye,
met woman in his life that seemed to
know nything about coins. & He never
NlNEu ~ YorAers Gazette. =.
Wouldn't you cali this the calf Of 4
.ee3" asked Bob, pointing to one of, his
se+her limbs. t.No,n replied Pat, i.."I
i. ,hould sit9Was the leg Of q calf. .~