The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1878-05-24
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i thought all you had to do was to lather,
scrape, and talk
That's where you err. We have to listen.
You must sit here for au hour aud keep your
ears open, and you'll wonder all the BARRIERS
are not crazy. Good day, Counsellor
/ looked up and saw a middle aged, bald
headed, fat-waisted looking man in greasy
coat and soiled shirt.
is he Counsellor p
Certainly
Are you paid to advertise himT
4 don't understand you
well, if were to meet you in the cars
or on the street, and salute you with Good
day, Barber, would you like it?'
OF course not
DO you say Hello, Tailor or Good day,
Editor or Take seat, Grocer?
why, no.
well, l thought I'd ask because this
Counsellor and Alderman and Sheriff busi-
ness is rather nuisance. Is that boy learn.
ing his trade here?'
oh, no. This is first-class shop
What do you mean by that7'
'First-class shops never take apprentices
"How do BARRIERS learn their trade?
The young ones practice on hotel porters
country men, and rough fellows who don't
care much how their hair is cut, so long rs
it is cut
What do you pay your head man.
Twenty dollars a week, but he makes
about $25. You see he sells oil and brushes
and gets commission. He's very yalua.
bic man. BARRIERS differ you know
Believing that to be the fact, thought
I'd penetrate the secrets of the craft and
ascertain in what respects the BARRIERS differ.
There are three first-cass shops near The Sun
Office, and have tried them all.
Day before yesterday | went down the
steep steps of one and took a seat in plush
covered chair.
My head ached, and anticipated a gentle
rubbing with pleasure.
A stalwart German seized my head in two
huge hands, apparently all thumbs, aud
settled 1t firmly in the rest Then he vigor-
ously thrust the towel in my face with all
his might and main. With very large
blade he assaulted my beard, resting his big
thumb and finger on my forehead, my chin
my cheek, and occasionally grasping the
whole of my nose.
Being done he pounded my face with a
wet towel, patted my cheek until my head
was sore, and then, with a jerk, told Inc to
sit up.
/ gently demonstrated that there was no
actual need for so much energy, but it made
no difference. For ten minutes he poun ded
banged and bruised me 80 that finally, in
desperation, cried out Stop
As a brakeman on coal train he would
be invaluable, but as a barber he is first
class nuisance.
On Saturday | ventured into number two,
and after waiting half AN hour was shown
a chair covered with plush, aud facing an
elegant mirror
A bohemian barber, whose hands were
redolent of Havana cigarettes from Crosby
street. smiled under his greasy moustache,
and remarked that it was line day.
told him what | wanted was fine
shave.
He lathered me very well aud whistled
Marta Marta under his breath then he be-
gan to shave.
Does the razor suit you?
No answer-silence-sha
Your hair and beard seem strong, but
thin did you ever try Hairoline?'
No misunderstanding
Shall cut close 2?
l would like more shaving and less con.
versation, if It's all the same to you. BY the
way, why is it that you BARRIERS always talk
so much?'
TO please the customers. | always talk
one customer fast asleep. He likes it,
Has he been in to.day?'
Not yet, sir
We'll, won't you keep the little batch you
have prepared for me until he comes in? II
may add zest to his nap
| laughed to myself, but the barber was
angry.
Presently brisk, bustlng mau came in
Good day, Alderman said my man.
'Ah, Adolf, how are you ?
No answer-sience-sh
Why don't yon answer him9' ask
ell.
Answer who?
The Alderman. He inquired after you
health
oh, he was only passing the time O
day
He is not an Alderman. Why do yo
call him so p
i know it. He ran for Alderman, and W
always call him so. He likes it. We hav
to humor our customers, you know. Shall
give you touch of bay rum?'
Yes
lie took down the bottle marked Charlie
q. Ogilbee' and dowsed me thoroughly wit
its contents. Then he began to pat m
head and face. ] begged him to rub m,
and not to pat me. He said he would, br
he didn't.
After was well drenched with Ogilbte
bay rum and dried with Adolf's towel, sa il
isn't that a private bottle p
oh, yes but it makes no difference. W
can fill it up you know
Yes, know yon can but will you9
Certainly. Here, John, don't forget
M
| tle."
AT what hour do you open?'
Seven, sharp.
DO you mean to tell me that people con
to be shaved at that hourY'
"Yes, indeed. In summer the shop is {,
at six o'clock. Those corn crackers won
get shaved at five o'clock if we'd attend
EN-
| re you nearly dana 81