The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-04-11
EVERYDAY SPICERIES.

Transcript.
THE doctor and nervous man
Will never have two creeds; et5sf
For the former needs his PATIENTS
And the latter patience needs.
= s; --Hackensock Republic
CONTRIBUTORS will take notice that
we have already more spring poetry than
we need. What we want is a liniment
that is dead certainty on rheumatism.
Rome Sentiael
THE theory of inevitable equilibrium
is full of flaws The new silver dollars
have been out of the mint nearly
month, and not single one Of them has
as yet found its way into an editors
pocket. - Cincinnati Breakfast Table.
THE proprietor of the Palmer House,
in Chicago, has vegetable garden on
the roof Of his hotel, and when guests
demand rooms near the ground he slows
them away in the attic without a single
twinge of conscience.-N. 0. Picayune.
aMA, are we canibals p asked little
Eighth-street girl of her mother the
other morning. Why, my child, what
do YOU mean9'' "Oh, nothing, only /
heard you say to Bridget, Boy legs for
breakfast. - Cincinnati Saturday Night.
No matter how Thoroughly yon clean
the house, the wife of the next man
who moves in will declare it is not fit
for hogs to live in, and will slor suds
around over every thing trying to make
| it fit for hogs to live in.--Rome Sentinel.
ga VACUUM would be the best place
for a fellow to fall into, wouldn't it,
Bill7 for then, you know, he wouldn't
fall against anything" Yes, he
would, though" stoutly answered Bill
che would fall against his inclination"
WHEN the recording angel observes
minister of the gospel holding q nail
between his fingers while he misses it
with a hammer, the trustworthy scribe
drops into brown study and pretends
not to hear anything.-1wner's FaH
Reporter.
| AT twenty you know every thing, at
thirty you have your doubts, at forty
there are some things you don't know,
| at fifty you are sure of your ignorance,
and after that you read Mr.. Beecher's
sermon on everlasting punishment and
hope he is right.-Boston Courier.
| In the Spring the young mans fancy
| Lightly turns to thoughts of-What?
And the first who dares to answer
= '''''e- : - Nv ~Rorcsstsr Press.
Get your shooting-iron ready
We are tired of worldly tolls
/ In the Spring the young mans fancy,
Turns to find a cure for bells. ,Fss-
A RENSSELAER, (Ind. clerk mesmer-
lied servant-girl, and no one could get
her to her senses again for twenty-four
hours. When she came to she told the
astonished spectators she had heard
all they said, but was unable to do any
thing" The same cid trouble. Every
servant-girl is subject to it.-Rochester
Democrat.
/ AMTTLE boy had one day done wrong,
and he was sent, after paternal correction,
to ask in secret the forgiveness of his
Heavenly Father. His offense was pas
sion. Anxious to hear what he would
say, his mother followed to the door of
his room. In isping accents she heard
him ask to be made better, and then,
with childlike simplicity, he added:
"Lord, make mas temper better, too"
/ Boston Traveller.
How is this? Professor ]. s. New
berry charges dollar admission to a
| lecture in which he says he don't know
where men come from. Ooiouei iheeI-
| sol, on the other hand, charges seventy
five cents admission to lecture in
which he tells us he don't know where
we are going to. Will some sayant have
the kindness too tell us where we are =
Nep York Graphic.
i WHAT blessing the phonograph will
he to editors! The bores can slip right
!, into the phonograph room, and plead
with the instruments, and the editor
can grind it all out afterwards-if he
|, wants to.-Boston Transcript.
Tur l;no
ar1ass,. @ r.. Inv, :, .,uo ,... .,,..n
T. ~ 1o ~aoa, ~ &c { ' Iast = sa+mrJag [ 40 [ sho,ld
IN our Poeh u iass Aa'aiuay' ''10ui'
! nave reau
> "Twitter Like bird on some lone spray,
, :. -o.''a ,:ss oe.s'gi a.,
Ds,na 'nrown .da a. oomp h,r, Mron w;tt III