Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1878-04-25
humorous.

One swallow may not make sum
mer, but too many swallows will GER
tainly make hummer
Dom Pedro is going to knight John
Roach, the shipbuilder. His title will
be Count Roachambeau
"A citizen Of Davenport, Iowa. is
being laughed at for firing at a pigeon
and killing horse in one Of the public
streets.
1t is not necessarily true that
woman is a thief because she hooks her
sisters dress behind her back. Brook
Ign Argus.
Roach, the great shipwright, took
a long look at the President, ana thGI
was heard to mutter that he would
IA Their be wright than to be Presi-
dent.
The Mofett bell-punch has been
used in China for 200 years. - Concord
Statesman And when it came across
it brought Behring'S Traits with it
Graphic.
1t is said that what George Francis
Train saves by his diet Of three peanuts
a week, he squanders on photographs
of himself, hence his ability as an econ
omist is doubted.
Now, Old Paradox is not what YOU
may consider an incorporate man, by
any manner Of means, but he calls on
the old lady once in while for the boot
jack, to draw his hat off with.
Oh, yes,u she said. "I'm very
fond of little boys, " and as she tripped
over a string extended across the side
walk, she added, Il feel as though
could eat couple of 'em now, roasted. -
Before Boston goes entirely crazy
over that female barber, she ought to
pause little between beans and rumin-
ate upon the trouble Sampson got into
by letting woman cut his hair IN.
Break. Table.
"A Florida negro mistook mule
for ghost and poked it with stick.
The verdict recited that he came To his
death by using too short a stick in prob
ing the unknOwabe for evidence of a
future existence.
In this couplet; by the well-known
photographer, William Oldys, truth
and wit are both to be found
. In word and WILL | AN a friend to
you
And one friend OLD Is worth a dozen
new
Lord Dudley was one of the most
absent-minded men ever met in society.
One day he met Sydney Smith in the
street and invited him to come and dine
with him, "and | will invite Sydney
Smith to meet you, > he said "Thanks, -
said Smith, but lam engaged to meet
him elsewhere
Customer to an undertaker) -"For
whom are you making that coffin ?''
Undertaken For Colonel Mink. -
Customer" Why, he isn't dead yet :"
Undertaken No matter. His doctor
told me to get his coffin ready, and |
guess he knows what he is about.'
"A woman has no difficulty in max
ing government official active. All
the postmasters between New York and
Indian Territory have been busy for six
months in looking for two yellow curls
that were mailed from the Empire City
to a lady at Fort Gibson, and never
reached their destination.
The Kissograph,. ga new invention.
will enable lovers to sit ten feet apart
and stealthily indulge in oscuatory ex-
ercises in the presence of the old folks.
This is great desideratum, certainly,
but unless each end of the instrument
is sweetened with some substance forty
degrees sweeter than the best refined
sugar in the market, the kisses will not
taste as good as if the old folks were in
bed or doing in the kitchen. Fathers
and mothers should cut this out and
paste it in their hats. Norristo,on Her
aid.
BANNTNG's BLUNDER. Though once
in the army, General Banning had
quite forgotten that the regulations do
not prohibit the use of Authorizations,
otherwise he would have been spared
ludicrous blunder General Macfeely,
COmmissary General. was upon the
stand, and Banning glowered upon him,
questioning
"'We perceive that the forage of the
Assistant Q. NJ. General is sent to one
Mrs. Carol.
'''Don't know any such lady, said
the Commisssary General.
" Well, here it is, said Mr.. B. open
ing bundle of papers, and pointing
Asst. @. NJ. Gen. IS forage department.
at =. Mrs. Carroll
Oh see, said Gen. NJ, delivered
at the quartermaster's corral
What = said Banning.
1.-The corral, where the public horses
are kept, said Gen. NJ, with curious
twinkle of his eye.
Hush said Mr.. Banning. MY
God | thought that was Mrs. Carroll
don let this get out on me. "
Banning's Macfeelyings can be better
imagined than described, as the novel
lists say.
The other day man who might
have attended Sunday school in his
boyhood days, but more likely deceived
his mother and spent the day in fishing
took home cake of maple sugar. That
can be sworn to. Sa urday inorning he
came down on Woodward avenue car
with cake OF maple sugar. That also
can be sworn to. When he got off the
car and headed for grocery he met the
proprietor at the door, and without a
word unwrapped and held out the cake.
1t weighed about four pounds. Three
or four pieces Of yarn were embedded
in one side, two dried leaves were visi-
Bile on the other side, and part of a
baby's rattle-box had been melted into
the top.
. Pure maple sugar - quietly OBJ