The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1878-02-28
VARIOUS TOPICS.

VARIOUS TOPICS.
Just as was expected. The s'fern. sprecll
! er'' was altogether too simple an appellatiOn
for the telephone in Germany and so they
have fixed on their handy little name oi
''doppeistahlblechzu which
| is much better suited to their unlimited ia
| cilities for pronunciation over there.
Amherst College has made an economic
al movement. Ten per cent. deduction has
been made in the teachers salaries. By the
way, talking OF Amherst. recalls an act of
noble liberality which the college has lately
done. An appropriation Of 81 1868 was given
to the purchase Of base ball field.
A cheerful real estate sale was registered
in New York Il day or two since. Some
gentleman bought a first rate cemetery all
in good running order. There is no style of
| tenement that has less Troublesome tenants
than good graveyard, and So probably
these gentlemen have entered on safe spec
ulation.
The New Haven School Board is bound to
be up with the times. A system of ten tel :
| ephOnes now connects the public schools
with the board room and superintendent's
office. One OF the more conservative men,
bers OF the board thought it would be better
for the superintendent to visit the schools
personally than to talk to the principals
''through hole
| There is many true word spoken in
joke. At the time that Jenny Lind was
| singing IN America the London Punch be-
gan an article on the subject by saying: ut
appears that songs and pieces OF music are
now sent from Boston to New York by cleo
| tric telegraph" No doubt Punch thought
| this very funny, but time has changed the
SO called joke into a prophecy.
Riding on an ice boat is very exhilerating,
but it is scarcely healthy exercise if car
| ried to excess. A man who was enjoying
sail on the St. Lawrence last week lost con
troll of his ice boat by breakage in the rud-
der. The boat flew along as straight as an
arrow at the rate of a mile minute, and
after going several miles struck an old wharf,
The unfortunate rider was cut in two.
People seem to be always doing something
curious at st. John, New Brunswick. A
young man there was bound over to keep
the peace towards another party, He kept
it. But he also induced his sureties to
thrash his enemy while he stood afar off
and chuckled. There is always way to
perform charitable action, providing the
disposition, and also the person to be thrashed
is there.
Experience is a great thing. An exceed
ingly small quantity OF the article ontbalan-
ces an exceeding large amount Of theory.
Boston man was juror on case where
another Boston man sued Boston City for
injuries he received by falling on All icy
pavement. The Boston Juror was opposed
to the city paying the amount asked, and to
demonstrate the fact that no Boston man
need fall down unless he wanted to, he gave
private exhibition to his friends, showing
how he could walk over that identical piece
of pavement like an upright man. just in
the most interesting part OF the show his
feet suddenly took different directions and
the Boston juror fell, breeking his arm. His
opinions changed.
The people of Cincinnati was shocked and
astonished on Friday morning last. The
good folks OF that city instead Of being
amused by funny account of how police
man was murdered by burglar, were hor
rified to read in their morning papers, that
the tables were turned and poor innocent
outlaw and robber haG been killed by an
unfeeling policeman all because the rufflan
had playfully tried to shoot the policeman.
One of the, papers prints wood cut of the
little bullet which the policeman did it
with. The bullet picture adorns the head
ing as loaded matter.
Kingston, Ontario, Is troubled over
grave clerical scandal. A clergyman there
has done q deed which makes the boldest
hearts of the truly good quake to think
upon. This wicked man breaches over on
Garden Island every Sunday. Instead Of
driving over OH the ice, or walking there, he
actually bucked on skates u week ago and
skated over. 1t is awful to think that such
depravity really exists. Surely that cler-
gyman must know that while it is exceed
ingly innocent to go there shod in leather,
it is desperately wicked to 90 to church shod
in steel. 1t is the awful doings Of this
stamp that appal the really righteous with
the wickedness OF the age.
There used to be beautiful fable about a
boy, who. in order to act the part OF angel
at a miracle play, was gilded. This hap
pened in the middle ages, and as the Gilded
Age was not among the middle ages, the
boy died. The story showed that we should
keep the pores open, but it was so evidently
| in the interest OF the soap man, that the
public always rebelled against the incident.
| A Berlin doctor took the matter in hand and
vanished man, completely covering his
skin. The man remained week in this
| covering and felt no more Inconvenience
than any person would in such tight fitting
suit. So it is likely that if the gilded boy
died it was not because his pores were STOP
ped. but from gold poisoning. or perhaps he
was in favor Of the silver movement, and
didn't want to be a ''gold bug.''
A car for bridge testing is to be purchased
| by the State of Connecticut and it will prob
ably lessen the number OF accidents Of the
Ashtabula order within the boundaries of
that State ut least. The car is to be used
on every railroad bridge in the State at least
twice year. This new invention consists
of an iron tank resting upon three trucks,
the tank capable of holding eighty tons of
water. On the center truck are four hy-
draulic jacks, operated by one lever, and by
these the entire weight of car and.contents
| can be thrown upon the centre truck. In
case weakness is discovered, the floodgates
are opened by single lever, and the water
instantly let off, relieving the. bridge of
eighty tons weight. The car will weigh
about sixty tons, and when the eighty tons
of water are added the full test will be one
hundred and forty tons; this weight may
be lessened, of course, if desired.
An Iowa man has at last struck the correct
method of dealing with cats. Many peo-
pie have spent sleepless hours in the long
watches OF the night trying to solve the
cat-prODlem. It Is true That the young
lady in Belfast, Maine, thought she had
hit on their proper treatment, when she
would entice a number of felines into a
room and then pounce upon one, whirl
che cat around dozen times to excite its
interest in the proceedings and then sud
denly bring proceedings to close by letting
the cats head come in violent contact with
chair. This plan, though good, is neces.
sarily slow, and SO precedence must be
given to the Iowa mans invention. He Sc.
creted ten pounds of a reliable brand OF gun
powder where it would do the most good.
He then induced grand chorus of cats to
collect in the immediate neighborhood by
means of a liberal collation. of milk, etc
An electric spark set off the gunpoweler
The cats left. If il had not been for the
presence of mind of the man we might new.
er have learned the number Of cats killed
However, he took the precaltion to count
thirty one just before the explosion, and il
was well he did so, for no one could max,
out the number by an examination of thu
remnants which were scattered around after
wards.
There is one thing that the government Of
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