The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-03-28
SENSE AND NONSENSE.
A STAPLE article-A paddock.

SENSE AND NONSENSE.
A STAPLE article-A paddock.
SrucK-UP people-Glue-makers.
A RoUsING time-Just before break.
fast.
A CUTTING remark-"Chop the
hash"
DOES fertile brain require TURTLE
covering?-Worcester Press.
SPRING bonnets will be trimmed pro.
fusely with Roman pearl beads.-M Y.
Graphic.
If "the receiver is as bad rs the
thief" how about the Receiver of q
savings bank?
A BRIDGEPORT man, arrested for
striking his wife Mary, admitted that
Mary had little lam.
AN abandoned wretch afffrms that in
engaging wife only a ring is necessa-
ry, but that nothing short of the cash
will secure good hired girl.
A Boston writer, in abiding to the
musical taste of the Hub, says: "Our
ears have been cultivated until they
overshadow our other organs"
A TAILOR. lis years old, in London,
has been married seven times. Darwin
points to him as an illustration of the
revival of the tittist.-N. Y. Graph c
CHICAGO receives ! 200, 900, 900 feet of
lcnber as her yearly average. No
wonder she is bored to death for want
of municipal cash.-Detroit Free Press.
She said: 80 yes, am very fond of
little boys" and, as snowfall stuck
in the back of her neck, she added: 81
feel as though could eat a couple Of
them this minute, boiled"
"NEvER be critical upon the ladies, -
was a maxim of an old Irish peer, re-
markable for his homage of the sex;
"the only way in the world that a true
gentleman will ever attempt to look at
the faults of a pretty woman is to shut
his eyes,"
A SAN Francisco girl spent $1,000
for an outfit to see Europe in, and the
New York Mail says: lit is not stated
whether her father made his money in
the soap business or is a bonanza king.
It is evident that the fool-killer ought
to hurry out to the Pacific Coast as
soon as possible, even though his bust
ness is still pressing on this side of the
mountains"
THE New York Telegram thus
speaks of painted females: "These
nuisances are becoming more intolera-
BILE and numerous than ever. What
do these women mean-many of them
wrinkled and ruddied and old-by
Haunting their features smcared with
cosmetics in full view on Broadway.
and advertising their ugliness and
brazenness to the wOrld?'
A RUN on a savings bank in the east
ern part of Massachusetts originated
in this curious manner: An old lady
went into the bank and asked the
Treasurer to "make up her hook" and
send it to her by mail, meaning that
she wanted her money. He did not so
understand her, and sent only the book.
AS the money did not arrive as she ex-
pectcd, she thought the bank had
failed. She spread the news at once
and the run began.
THE logical capacity is one Of the
most beautiful and touching things to be
seen in the modern small boy. At the
conclusion of Il festival last summer an
excellent teacher, DESTROYS of admins
tering trifling moral lesson, inquired
of the boys if they had enjoyed the re-
past. With the ingenious modesty of
youth they all responded, Eyes, sir. ~
"Then,'' asked the excellent teacher,
elf you had slipped into my garden
s,,Ys 81,
my leave, would they have tasted rs
good as now?" Every small boy in
that stained and sticky company
shrieked, "No, sir!' Why not?''
Cause said little Thomas, with the
cheerfulness of conscious VIII tue, "then
we shouldn't have had sugar and cream
with 'em."
A YOUNG lady Postmistress of Vir-
ginia town recently found herself in a
dilemma. She was invited to ball,
but like Flora McFlimsey she had moth
ing wear. Just at this time she found 4
package in the mail containing Il fashion
ably made silk dress. Tie temptation
was too strong for her powers of resist
ance, and she stole the robe and wore
it to the party. She was arrested and
tried. Her shame and sorrow made
such an impression on the Judge that,
in pronouncing the sentence, he was
affected totears. The sentence was the
l;ghtest in his power to inflict, 500.
This was paid at once, and the young
lady left the room. Her betrothed low
er, to please whose fancy she stole tie
dress, urged the engagement, and they
were married the day after the trial.
THERE are depths to awoman's char
acter too profound for the research of
man. Delicate. timid. shrinking, yet
she possesses a heroism that rises to the
height of grandeur, keenness of per-
ception almost miraculous, and a
promptness in action that is certainly
marvellous. A Danbury lady seated at
her sewing the other evening put her
hand into her pocket in quest Of some
object, when her fingers came in con-
tact with the slippery and repulsive
touch of mouse. There was an i'm.
pulse to scream, but REFRESHING it by .
powerful effort, she jumped up in the
air, overturning the table. smashing o
ten-dollar lamp. upset two chairs, and
Gaping the climax by going over in o
heap under the piano. Her husband,
who was asleep in the next room, was
aroused by the noise and rushed to her
help. "What is the matter?" he de-
manded, as she got on her feet. She
told him. "Why on earth didn't you
call me?' he almost yelled, when he
saw the damage done. 81 didn't want
to disturb you," was the heroic reply.
And then the emergency being over,
her strength deserted her, and she burst
into q flood of Dunburv Nevs.
Texas HOrse.Thieyes.
THE popular fury in rural districts