The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-09-21
WHY DID / MARRY.
a Wire,s Confession.

| did not marry for love. Verv few
people do, so in this respect | am
neither better nor worse than my
neighbors. No, l certainly did not
marry for love; | believe married MIR.
Cartwright simply because he asked me.
This was how it happened. He was
the rector of Devotion, and we lived at
the manor house, which was about ten
minutes walk from the church and
the rectory. We had daily service at
Devotion, and NEARLY always attended
it, and it came to pass that Mr.. Cart
wright invariably walked home with
me. 1t was matter of custom now,
and l thought nothing of it; it pleased
him, and on the whole it was rather
pleasant to me also.
must confess, however, was rather
surprised when, one morning as we got
to the avenue which led up to the
manor house, Mr.. Cartwright asked me
to be his wife.
L have never been able to find out
why [ said yes, but l did, perhaps
though it pity to throw away 50 much
love; perhaps it was because he was so
terribly in earnest that dared not re-
fuse him; perhaps feared his pale face,
and his low pleading voice, would ever
haunt me if rejected his love; or per-
haps it was because he only asked me
to marry him-he did not ask me if |
loved him, for l think he guessed did
not; perhaps it was all these reasons
put together, but anyhow said yes,
and in due time we were married.
l ought to have been very happy, for
he was a most devoted husband, bat |
was not, and thought | did not notice
it then, | know now that for the first
six months after our marriage he was
not happy either.
1t was all my fault, | either would
not or could not love him; accepted
all his devotion to me as matter of
course, but | made no effort to return
it; and [ am sure he had found out
that he had made mistake in marry
ing woman who did not love him.
One morning, about six months after
our marriage, he told me at breakfast
that he intended leaving me alone for
a few weeks, to stay with his mother,
who was not very well. He watched
the effect of this announcement on me,
but though | was really displeased |
concealed my annoyance, and asked
carelessly when he would start.
He replied, the nextd day if had no OBJ
lection and so it was settled.
He was more atfectionate than usual
that day and | was colder than ever;
only once alluded to his journey and
that was to ask if | might have my sis
ter Maud to stay while he was gone.
The next morning, | was anxious to
avoid a formal parting, so l drove to
the station with him; as the train moved
off, l remembered this was our first
parting since our marriage, and wished
L had not been so cold.
When l got home the house looked
so dreary and empty, and there was no
one to meet me; presently one of the
servants came for the shawls, and with
her Nero, Mr.. Cartwright's retriever,
which, when he saw | was alone, set
up a howl for his master. Ipatted him,
and tried to comfort him, feeling re-
buked by his grief, as he followed me,
whining, into the house. Every room
seemed empty, and each spoke of the
absent master; at last wandered into
his study, where he spent his mornings
and liked me to sit and work, and now
remembered how often l had excused
myself, saying preferred the drawing
room, and this reflection did not add
to my happiness.
There was photograph ofme stand
ing on his writing table, and another
ON the chimney piece; on the walls hung
two or three of my drawings, which he
had begged of me when we were en-
gagged; indeed the room was full of lit
tie remembrances of me; | opened a
book had given him, and in it was bis
name in my handwriting and under
meath in his own, From my darling
wife" had laid it down with sigh,
as thought how carefully he treasured
everything had ever given him, and
how little care took of all his gifts to
me.
Everything | attempted, everything
looked at reminded me of his good
ness to me, and of my GOODNESS and in
gratitude to him. At last went to
bed, where, after working myself into
fever of anxiety lest he should not
have reached the end of his journey in
safety, l at length cried myself to
sleep. rfE rn uU. .r ..
The next morning 1 went down to
breakfast with a heavy heart, for l
knew | could not hear from him till the
next day; it seemed so strange to break
fast alone, and Nero appeared to think
so too, for he was most unhappy, sniff
ing round his masters chair in the
most melancholy manner.
My plate, for the first time since my
marriage, was empty, as sat down to
breakfast, for my husband, who was
an early riser, always had little bou-
quet to greet me with every morning;
frequently | forgot all about it, and