St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1878-01-25
Squibs.

lake care OF the pennies and the
pounds will be taken care of by some
other person.-ROcheSter Democrat
Experience may be dear teacher,
but she isn't any dearer than pretty
schoolma'am.-OH City Derrick.
The St. Louis Journal calls this
"bric-a-brac, potpourIi, saImagundi
sort of Il winter"
When man has house lot on which
he cannot pay the taxes, lie has Il site
too much.
Why is IA solar eclipse like a woman
Whipping her boy Because it's hid
ing of the sun.
Why is dew like il falling starr One
is mist on earth, and the other missed
from heaven.
They were at dinner party, and he
remarked that he supposed she WAS
fond of ethnOlogy. She said she was,
but she was nnt very well, and the doe
tor had told her not to eat anything for
dessert except oranges.
A train on Il Florida railroad the
other day passed man on horseback,
and there was great hurrahing among
the passengers until they discovered
that the animal was tied to the fence.
There was Il story of soldier in the
army of the Potomac, carried to the
rear of battle with both legs shot off,
who seeing pie woman towering
about, asked, ''Say, old lady, are them
pies sewed or pegged ?"
The ladies are all opposed to the tel
ephone. They don't care to have IA
young fellow whispering in their ears
with his mouth twenty miles away
Funny Folks.
Said college professor to notorious
laggard, who was once, for great
wonder, promptly in his place ut moru-
ing prayers, and at the appointed time
81 have marked you, siI, as punctual
this morning. What is your excuse? %
''S-i-c-k, sir, and couldn't Sleep" was
the reply.
The latest well authenticated Hibern-
icism: A lady in New York who direct
ed servant to take "out and clean the
windows" in an upper story, was in
tensely disgusted when, on making il
visit for Inspection, she found that
Bridget had removed every pane of
glass from the sashes and neatly wash
ed them and piled them on the floor.
JOHNNY ABOUT HITS IT.-The Bos-
ton Post says: A few days ago a teach
ell i'll one of the primary schools was in-
structing her lowest class i'll natural
history. Her subject was the cat and
Its habits, and as she proceeded with
her remarks she was charmed with the
rapt attention of her dimiDutive audit
Ors. After her talk was over she pro-
ceeded to question her scholars in order
to see how much they knew of the sub
Ject under consideration, and many
were the answers-showing that she
had not wasted her effOrt-that she re-
ceived. At last she said to the smallest
of her boys, a little mite with chubby
cheeks and glistening eyes:
johnny, what does your mother
keep a cat for ~
"To lay Kittens was the unexpected
reply.
The questioning for that session came
to an abrupt end.
"A COLORED SKEPTIC.-When schools
were established in the South for the
education of the negro, they were eager
~ patronlzed by the colored folks of all
ages. Coy maidens of thirty and bash
full lads equally old gayly trudged to
school with diminutive primers in their
hands, while the small fry swarmed in
the schoOl-hOuses, and were enthusiasts
tic on the education question. OF Pete,
the subject of our anecdote, it might be
truly written that ''ne'er did pencil
trace winter eye or blacker face.n
His former master, DR.. H, had TAX
en- great pains with him, instructing
duly in reading and writing. In the
fall Pete was to go to school, and anx-
Iously looked forward to it. This was
in 1869, when the sun was in total
eclipse in August. There were all sorts
OF rumors among the colored people
about calamities which would happen
at the time of this phenomenon. A few
days before it occurred the following
conversation took place between Pete
and friend:
pete, did you know dar was gwine
to be 'clipse ob de sun next week ?"
Yes" said Pete, ~ heard de folks
talkin' bout it,"
"Pete, | hear that awful things is
gwine to happen when it comes. Dey
say dat de world is gwine to come to an
end"
Curling his lip in scorn, and fixing his
big white eyes on him, Pete answered.
with contempt, $50 way, niggab.
Don't you know dat school opens in
September How, den, can de world
| come tO an end in 1,,o,,ef 9u IJ..., =