The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-13
SATISFACTION OF A GENTLEMAN.
An OId-Time Story.
ain have Satisfaction =,

surto4t with the air of a man who has
determined on some desperate course,
the offended hero vanished out of the
room He was Immediately observed to
mount handsome phaeton, drawn Dy
pair of smart grays. His tiger leaped
up behind, and the equipage drove on
with furious CHATTER up 81 James street.
"Satisfactionp' of course every one
within hearing knows the meaning OF
the words, when uttered by imam Of
honor and a gentleman" In fashiona-
BILE circles satisfaction" means the
chance of projecting an ounce of lead in
the shape of bullet in some offending
friends body; but the man of wounded
honor is equally satisfied" If his friend
sends the bullet into his own head; and
if his head resists il, then he may thank
the thickness of his skull, rather than
the soundness of his brains. Two men
of honor fall out about the most trifiing
matter perhaps inflamed with wine,
begin TO talk angrily-and one of them
uses an offensive word; instantly the
other calls for satisfaction" The two
'.friends"-call them fools rather-come
out in the cool gray of the next morning
with two other "frfends" equally foolish,
and then, in some chalk-pit or ravine,
each sets himself up as target for the
other. Two bullets instantly speed upon
their FOOLS errand. They miss. Well
the two seconds step up-"interfere TO
prevent further hostilities"-declarin
that their friends "honor is satisfied
and they march off to breakfast, think
ing they have done some valiant feat
or, the balls hit their mark; one, if not
both, lie on the grass; bullet has lOdg-
ed in the spine of one, and another bull
let in the shoulder joint of the other.
Forth steps why man with box of
Il
extracting. or wrenching away of the
little bullets from flesh and bone. All!
with one of them it is too late; he lies
on the ground breathless, his lips apart,
his eyes glazed; he is dead he has his
Observation-Disclosures of a gentleman"
The other, after submitting to the tor
tues of bullet extraction, is borne from
the field on litter satisfied he has
KILLED his man." Such is "hOnOr'' in
the mouths of fools.
But we must return to our story.
Scarcely had the gentleman of wounded
honor rushed out of the house, ere the
friends of the other assembled round
him to ask what is the matter? And
how did you fall out?''
THE matter" said the offending gent
lcman, who sat somewhat stupetied al
the abrupt and threatening exit of his
military friend; "why, the fellow is as
irascible as Il turky cock. We fell into
IL dispute about politics, about which he
knows positively nothing. He became
more and more insolent, and his argu.
ments were at length so absurd, that
could not help bursting out laughing
and telling him he was bullet-headed
fool"
as that all ~ said city merchant
'why, every body knew that long ago"
"Ay, but to tell him of it," said anoth
er; ~ fear mischief will come of it,"
A considerable damp seemed to have
been thrown on the spirits of all the
company, and the circle gradually broke
up. The gentleman who had been the
cause of the explosion, ut length rose
and went home, not Over-free from anXi
ETY.. He now regretted the use oil the
offensive word, and yet he felt that il
had not been undeserved Not being q
military man-for he was u banker in
good business, and with extensive con
nectiOns-he could scarcely define what
the other would do in reference to the
satisfaction" which he had spoken of
yet he had some unpleasant misgivings
about the issue.
The banker was not left long in doubt
Next morning, after an anxious night, a
laundering rat-tat came to his door. I'm
mediately thereafter II gentleman was
admitted. The banker rose up to meet
him, and recognized him for a military
gcntleman-in fact, the major of the
others corps.
II have the honor" said he, "of wait
ing upon you at the instance of my
friend, the Honorable Captain Sir Eust
ace FitZ Giles this letter will explain t.
you the object of my visit"
The banker opened the missive. Ii
was written in a thunder-and-l lightning
hand, and smelt frightfully of gunpOw
der; in fact, there was no misunder
standing it.
II will call upon the captain" sale
the banker. Il will do so at once"
"The usual mode in such matters, a!
you are aware, is to refer me to YOU
friend"
I'm good time, sir" answered tn,
banker; "but first l would see the cap
tain himself"
Very WE'LL" said the major; but tn,
usual course in such matters"
Yes, yes!' said the banker; 81 know
but l wish to see the captain himself"
He will refer you to me-" said thu
major.
VERY well! then shall have tn,
pleasure of seeing you again; y and h
bowed the major politely out.
The banker went straightway to tn,
II am not at all ashamed to confess my
self in the wrong in having used TOWARD
you the expression which has given you
offense. | beg to withdraw it, and
apologize for it with all my heart"
TOO late sir, by Jove too late" sale
the captain, twirling his mustache
You must meet me, sir; nothing shor
of that will do. Had l knocked yoI
down on the spot, an apology Nigh
have been accepted; but did not knOcl
you down, and your apology comes too
late. l refer you to my friend, who i
authorized by ME to settle all necessar,
preliminaries. Name TO him your tim
and place, and go home and settle you
affairs"
The banker was thunderstruck. II
considered with himself for awhile
well, sirl" said he at length, 'if
must be so, meet me tomorrow at tw'
O'Clock, in the large field north Of
Lodge, in the - Road, with you
friend and pair of pistols"
Enough, sir" said the brusque car
tain; and they parted.
The parties were on the ground at tn
time appointed. The captain was az
companied by his friend, the major
The banker was attended by a gentle
man in a suitable black-a very unmil
tary and most civil-looking personagl
AS they approached, the major suddenl
stepped before his principal, and aC
dressing the bankers second, said-"l
was perfectly understood, sir, that pistol
were to be the weapons employed o
this occasion; but here, sir, if mistall
not, you bring a blunderbuss under you
arm"
II beg your pardon" said the othe
drawing the instrument forth; cit is nj
blunderbuss, but a telescope"
''And what, in heavens name, is IL
meaning of thisY hope 1t is not meal
as an additional insult to my principal
"Ohl by no MEANS" said the banke
who proceeded to inform the major
his previous and present readiness
apologize, assuring him that he had j
tended no offense To his friend, the ca
tain, and that he was now anxious to e
plain. The apology was declined as b
fore, and an explanation was demande
I'm the first place." said the banke
II earnestly beg that you, captain, wi
look through this telescope"
"What, sir, Is-Look Though a tel
scopes By heavens, sir, what foolery
thisY'
The bankers second claimed TO |
heard. II insist" said he, THAT this
most serious and important TO my eli
TO my friend"
III Is such breach of all the Gust
mary FORMS" said the captain. "Such
Z. IL u.