Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-10-10
A WIFE'S CONFESSION.

did not marry for love. Very few
people do, so in this respect [ am
neither better nor worse than myneigh-
bors. No, ] certainly did not marry
for love; | believe | married Mr..
Cartwright simply because he asked
me.
This was how it happened. He was
the rector of Devotion, and we lived at
the Manor House, which was about ten
minutes walk from the church and
rectory. We had daily service at
Devotion, and | nearly always attend
ed it and it came to pass that Mr..
Cartright invariably walked home with
me. 1t was Il matter of custom now,
and | thought nothing of it; it pleased
hlm, and on the whole it.Was rather
pleasant to me also.
] must confess, however, was rather
surprised when, one morning when we
got TO the avenue which led to the
Manor House, Mr.. Cartwright asked me
to be his wife.
| have never been able to find out
why | said yes, but | did; perhaps [
thought it a pity to throw away so much
love- or, perhaps it was because he was
SO terribly in earnest that | dared not
refuse him; perhaps | feared his pale
face, and his low, pleading voice would
ever haunt me if | rejected his love;
or, perhaps, it was because he only
asked me to marry him-he did not
ask me il / loved him, for / think he
guessed I did not, perhaps it was all
these reasons put together, but anyhow
said yes, and in due time we were
married.
l ought to have been very happy, for
he was a most devoted husband, but [
was not, and though | did not notice it
then, | know now that for the first six
months after our marriage he was not
happy either.
Itwas all my fault either would
not or could not loye him: | accepted
all his devotion to me as matter of
course, but | made no effort to return
il; and | am sure he had found out
that he had made a mistake in marry
ing woman who did not love him.
One morning, about six months after
our marriage, he told me at the break
fast that he intended leaving me alone
for few weeks, to stay with his mother,
who was not very well. He watched
the effect of this announcement on me,
but though | was really displeased,
concealed my annoyance, and asked
carelessly when he would start.
He replied, the next day, if had no
objection, and so it was settled.
He was more affectionate than usual
that day, and was colder than ever; |
only once alluded to his journey; and
that was to ask if | might have my sis
ter Maud to stay while he was gone.
The next morning | was anxious to
avoid a formal parting, so [ drove to
the station with him. As the train
moved off, [ remembered this was our
first parting since our marriage, and |
wished | had not been so cold.
When got home the house looked
SO dreary and empty and there was no
one to meet me; presently one of the
servants came for the shawls, and with
her Nero, Mr.. Cartwright's retriever,
which, when he saw | was alone, set
up q howl for his master. | patted him
and tried to comfort him, feeling rebuk-
ed by his grief as he followed me,
whining into the house Every room
seemed empty, and each spoke of the
absont master. At last [ wandered into
his study, where he spent his mornings,
and liked me to sit and work; and nos
| remembered how often | had excused
myself, saying | preferred the drawing
room, and this reflection did not add to
my happiness.
There was photograph of me stand
ing on his writing table, and another on
the chimney-piece; on the walls hung
x,F, ~, l.
had begged of me when we were en-
gagged; indeed the room was full of little
remembrance of me: opened book
| had given him, and in it was his name
in my handwriting, and underneath in
his own, From my darling wife" l
laid it down with a sigh, as I thought
how carefully he treasured everything
| had ever given him, and how little
care | took of all his gifts to me.
Everything | attempted, everything |
looked at reminded me of his goodness
to me and of my GOODNESS and ingrati-
tude to him. At last | went to bed,
where, after working myselfinto fever
of anxiety lest he should not have
reached the end of his journey in
safety, / at length cried myselfto sleep.
The next morning | went down to
breakfast with a heavy heart, for l
knew l could not hear from him till
the next day; it seemed so strange to
breakfast alone. and Nero appeared to
think so too, for he was most unhappy,
shifting around his masters chair in the
most melancholy manner.
My plate for the first time since nv
marriage was empty, as l sat down to
It, 4,
early rises, always had a little bouquet
to greet me with every morning; fire.
quently forgot all about it, and left it
to be put into water by the servant;
this morning | would have treasured ii
most carefully if he had gathered it.
After breakfast I determined to