Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1878-08-30
F. u N :


How TOOTHACHE PRACTICED IT'S VILE
ARTS ON UNCLE REMUs.-As soon as
Uncle Remus put in an appearance yester-
day morning his friends knew he had been
in trouble. He had red cotton handker-
chief tied under his chin, and the genial
humor that usually makes his aged face its
dwelling-place had given way to an i'm
preston of grim melancholy. The young
men about the office were inclined to chaff
him, but his look of sullen resignation re-
manned unchanged.
But Uncle Remus remained impassive.
He seemed to have lost all interest in what
was going on around him, and he sighed
heavily as he seated himself on the edge of
the trash-box in front of the office. FL
nally some one asked in a sympathetic
tone:
ssWhat is the matter, old man? You
look like you'd been through the mill.''
ssNow you'er knockin' at de back do.
sho. Eff I amt bin thru de mill sence day
7fo' yistiddy, den dey amt no mills in de
lam. Eff wUnner desc yer schurschun
trains had ruined over me couldn't er
bin wuss off. bin trompin' roun' in de
low grouns now gwine on seventy-f' year,
and ain IT, seed no SIGH times eZ dat wat
I done spe'unst now. Boss, is emmy er you
all ever rastled wild de toothache?"
ssOh, hundreds OF times. The toothache
isn't anything"
Den you DIES played round de aidges.
You amt had de kline wat kotch me on de
under jaw. You mOut had gum-bile,
but you amt been boddered wild de tooth
ache. I wuz settin' up talkln' wild my ole
'oman, kinder puzzlin' roun' fer ter see
whar de next MEALS yittles wuz,a gwine
ter cum frum, an feel little ache sort
er crawlin' long on my jaw-bone, kinder
feelin' his way. But de ache didn't stay
long. He sQrter hankered roun' like, an
den crope back whar he cum from. BIN
beby feel i'm comm agin, an dis time
hit looks like he cum up closer-kinder
skummshin' roun' fer ter see how de lam
lay. Den he went off. Presently l feel
Jim comm. and dis time it looked like be
kyar'd de news unto many, fer he feel like
der wuz anudder wun wild i'm. Dey crep'
I'D an crep' 'roun', an den dey crope off.
Bimeby dey come back, an dis time dey
come like dey wuzzen't feared er de sur
roundin's, fer dey trot right up unto de
toof, sorter canine 1t like, an den trot
roun' it, like desc yer circuous bosses. 1
sot dar mighty cam, but 1 'spected dat
sump'n wuz gwine to hap'n."
ssAnd it happened, did it," asked some
one in the group surrounding the old
man.
''Boss, don't you forglt it," responded
Uncle Remus, fervidly. Nv 'en dem aches,
gallopped back dey galloped fer ter stay,
an dey wuz so mixed up dat l couldn't
tell one fun the other. All night long dey
racked an dey galloped, an wen dey got
tired er rackin' an gallopin' dey all closed
in on de ole toof an thumped it an goug
ed at it tell it peared unto me dat dey had
got the jawbene loosened up an waz try
in fer ter fetch it up thru de top er my
head, an out at der back of my neck. AM
dev got wuss mex day. Mars Devenpote
ELLIS, he seed was 'stracted. an git Mars
Eos. Chapman fer put sump'n on it, and
Mars Eos, he lowed dat better have 'er
draw'd, an his wuds wuzn't more'n cole
TO- wunner deze watchyoumaycollums-
wunner deze TENTS men-had retched fer
it with par of tongs wat don't turn
loose wen dey kotch holt.-Leastwise dey
didn't wild me. You oughter seed dat
toof, boss. Hit wuz wunner deze yer &c
prong fellows. Eff she'd crowd wrong
eend out'ards, I'd bin a bad niger long
arter [ jined de chu'ch. You heer my
ho'nW
The little bit of girl wanted more and
more buttered toast, till she Was told that
TOO much would make her sick. Looking
wistfully at the dish for moment, she
Thought she saw way out of her difficult
~ and exclaimed, well, give me annuz-
or piece, and send for the DOCTOR
woman will face frowning world,
ond cling to a man she loves through the
most bitter adversely, but she wouldn't
wear hat three weeks behind the style to
save the Government.