The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-03-21
SENSE AND NONSENSE.
DUMB BELLE-An impossibility.
WHEAT and Turkey fell together.

DUMB BELLE-An impossibility.
WHEAT and Turkey fell together.
THE question of the hour--what time
is itp
THE raan who gives you tho slip
the church usher.
WIGS, in the language of flowers, are
lie-locks.-M. Y. Herald.
A DETROIT chamber-maid calls her.
self "the shcct-slinger of Michigan"
HOOD called the slamming of door
by q person in passion 50 wooden
oath.''
A TnREE-FoOr rule-Sleek up your
yard rs spring Experimentation
| Globe.
THE New York Herald thinks George
| Washington was first in war because
| he married widow.
| CREMATION is the burn from which
no traveller can possibly return, except
in the form of ashes. Chicago Tribune.
| HALF those Londoners don't believe
there is any such word as "obelisk. :"
They have searched the HIS in vain
for it.
| No MAN seems to have more time on
his hands than the one who is asked to
step in and send up the doctor on his
| way down town.-Free Press.
ABOUT three-fifths of the jury trials
in this country include at least one
man on the jury who ought to have
been born q mule.-Dctr0tt Free Press.
A SCORE of full-born Americans will
move three wagon loads Of lumber to
| nj 1xy1, nncI,
offer of fifty cents each would have no
eifect.-Detroit Free Press.
A LIBERrY-srREEr boy, on being
asked by his mother to explain the alb
sence of certain cookies from the pam
try, said she would find them credited
in next years account.-ROme Sentinel.
CAPT. CRAPO, of New Bedford Mass,
says that he is ready to cross the Allan
tic again in a boat six feet shorter than
the dOry he used last summer, if any
one will guarantee to him $1,000.
REV. JOSEPH Cook says that "Dar-
wins hypothesis of pangeneses involves
theses" Very few people supposed it
was as bad as ttat.-Norristown Herald.
A GOOD little boy who was kicked by
a mule didn't say any naughty words
or 90 home crying to his mother. He
just tied the mule within five feet of the
beehive, backed him round to it, and
let him kick.
TIE Salt Lake Utah) Tribune de.
scribes the late Mormon prophets
widows as very old, very fat, and not
very beautiful, and says that, almost
without exception, they manifest an
earnest desire to get married again.
THE day is not far distant when
America, in order to get an intelligent
verdict from y jury, will be compelled
to lock up the jurors with school
master year or two before the trial
takes plaoe.-Philadelphia Chronicle.
A SAN FRANCISCO tailor advertised
that he would make dresses for women,
and fashionable dressmaker, resent
full of the rivalry, advertised that she
would make mems clothes lin the
latest styles at low prices and warrant
cd to fit
"WHAT is a junction, nurse?" asked q
scven-year-old fairy the other day OF
an elderly lady who stood by her side
on a railway platform. "A junction,
my DEAR answered nurse, with the
air of very superior person indeed,
"why, it's a place where two roads
separates"
| A GENTLEMAN saw his little daughter
dipping her dolls dress into q tin cup
and inquired: ''What are you doing,
my daughter?'' "rm coloring my
dolls dress red" "With what?''
"With beer" "What put that foolish
notion into your headP You can't color
red with beer" Eyes, l can, pa, be-
cause ma said it was beer that made
your nose SO red"
| A SYMPATHETIC but inquisitive young
man, who was visiting country pris-
! on, gently asked girl prisoner the
cause of her being in such place.
"Oh," said she, with contemptuous
toss of her head, II stole a water-mill
and got off safe, but, like fool, went
back after the stream that turned it
and was arrested" The sympathetic
young man left Immediately.
A VERY little boy had one day done
wrong, and he was sent, after paternal
correction, to ask. in secret the forgive
ness of his Heavenly Father. His Of
tense was passion. Anxious to hear
what he would say, his mother followed
to the door of the room. In lisping
accents she heard him ask to be made
better; and then, with childlike SIM
| plicity, he added: "Lord, make MAJ
temper better, too"
A VENERABLE sage of the Pluto
tribe of Indians, whose face is familiar
to the majority of the people of Aus
tin, New, and who usually wears di-
lapidated hat, went into the Reveille
office recently with bare head.
where's your plug, John?'' was
asked. The Indian replied, "Me plug
him heap git old; maybeso heap pooty
quick heap brake; me put him in my
wickiup so keep him for Sunday. Sum
i day heap my head put 'em on plug;
heap put 'em on style"
FACTS are facts, even when pro-
nounced by savage lips. 1t was Pc
culiar notion of the Mohawks that
some great misfortune would happen
if any one spoke while crossing Sara
toga Lake. A white woman, who was
ferried over by an Indian, talked all
the way, and on arriving safely on the
further shore rallied her boatman on
his superstition. He simply grunted,
1.-The Great Spirit is merciful and
knows that the pale face woman can
not hold her tongue" and then re-
crossed the lake in silence.
The Treaty OF Peace.
The Treaty of Peace between Russia
and Turkey, signed at San Stefano,
definitely settles the limits of Bulgaria,
Servia and Montenegro. The bounda.