The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1878-01-18
VARIETIES.

The mostest fun for the leastest money
is having pretty girl kiss you on both
cheeks, and then say she thought it was
her cousin Tom.
Athletic sports for ladies-Jumping at
conclusions; walking around subjects run
ming through novel; skipping full de-
scriptions.
-"Aih't it wicked to rob dis here roost,
Jim ~ Oats great moral question
Gumbo; we amt got time to consider now
hand down another pullet."
flake wing 2" said presumptuous
fop to sensible young lady, extending his
bent arm toward her. "Not of gander,'
she quietly replied, and walked home with
her mother.
Never seek to be entrusted with your
friends secret for no matter how faithful
ly you may keep it you may be liable in a
thousand contingencies to the suspicion Of
having betrayed it.
-"Och," said love-sick Hibernian
"what recreation it is to be dying OF
love! 1t sets the heart aching 80 delicate
ly there's no taking wink of sleep for the
pleasure of the pain !"
you say if ole Luciter was to lose his tail,
whar he would go to fine another one p
"Why to de tabern, OBJ course, you ignora-
mus-dat's de only place knows where
they retail bad spirits"
Mrs. Darlington to Isaac "You must
take cabmel, Isaac--you know what
Spokeshave says, "Be thou as poor as snow,
and as cheap as ice, thou shalt not 'scape
calome" Now don't be like the Prodi-
gal Son, Isaac.
"A lady who has great reputation as
a Mrs. Malaprop returned to town the 9th
er day from the continent, and found her
husband away in the country. II really
am the most abandoned woman in Lon
don !" she observed.
"A lecturer remarked, "That the dear
est ship in the whole world was friendship"
Whereupon young man rose from among
the audience, and stated that he knew
another, dearer ship still, and that was
courtship! N. Bile had been de-
PENDANT in claim for breach of promise of
marriage.
-"Brudderin'," said an elderly colored
preacher, in the course ola funeral sermon
over the remains of one of flock whose
head had been caved in by the hind feet Of
mule; "brudderin', - it am pow'ful strange
dat, arter moan hundred years of 'sas
trous Experiment. Il culled pusson should
pussist in 'proachin' a mule frum de r'ar"
Lord Verisopht: "Pray, Mithter Mud
gold, wath not your father soapboiler ?"
Mr.. Mudgold: Eyes, my lord, he was so."
Lord v: What pity you aren't one too !!
Don't you think so7" Mr.. NJ. (after an
interval of a few minutes): "My lord, was
not your father "a gentleman ?" Lord ":
"Yeth, Mr.. NJ, certainly he wath." Mr..
M: "What a pity you aren't one too {!
Don't you think so?" Lord ": "You've
been long time thinking of that Mr.. NJ"
Mr.. NJ: mo, my lord, thought so from
the first time saw you"
The following is specimen tit bit of
scandal, and may be applied to all busy
body slanderers Mother Jasper told me
that she heard Greatwood's wife say that
John Hardstone's aunt mentiond to her that
Mrs. Trusty was present when the widow
Parkman said Captain Harswell's cousin
thought Ensign Dooltittle's sister believed
that old Mrs. Orely reckoned that Sam
Trefts better half told Mrs. Spaulding that
she heard John Bribing's woman say that
her mother told her that she heard her
grandfather say that Mrs. Gardner had two
husbands