The New York herald., 1878-03-24

| misc might occur, and they wanted to be on hand.
Riches may afford Delights but certainly this 10 not
OF Ihem. 10 avoid collisions you must die with
properly witnessed certificate IN your hand, to the
effect that you never had ht Of any KIND not oven
| u At OF temper; that you mover moody nor de-
spondcnt; that you never mysteriously locked your
| chamber door and retired from the noises OF the
children with a sick headache, but that you enjoyed
all your ic, and that. indeed, you dieI IN perfect
health Even then Ihere are doubts about having
your will respected. II Is, In point OF iac very
dangerous thing for rich man to die. II has bcon
proved that overy millionaire who has died within
the decade stark mad, raviug maniac, when
| he mado his WILL
Christians have their troubles as we'll as sickness
When We die and 60 to heaven because we haven't
done lots OF things which we wanted 10 do. It will
just cut some Of 10 tho quick to long process
sion OF sinners coming In who won't to theatres and
dances balls, then repented just in the nick
| OF timc.
| Just think Suppose, when once view
Tho heaven l'vo toiiod to win,
A l0t Of unsAved sinners, too,
Comes walHin' grandly IN
| An acts 10 home samc as ir they
Had road their titles clears
An looks at mo, as II 10 say
'Ws're glad 20 soc you herel
As II 10 say, "Whie you havo ben
SO fast to Toe the marx,
We waited tai II raned. AM thcn
Got tickets for the ark!"
The ordinary lS sometimes oeI0ggoo py bn0
use Of largo words II Is supposed In certain circles,
10 be an evidence OF immense mental grasp express
ones thoughts III lengthy polysvlablcs A gontle-
man talking to his drayman about the terminal
facilities O: u railroad, saying that tho corporation
ought offer favorable opportunities to It's EN-.
ployGs, who put TO serious Inconvenience Ia
disposing OF the material which they had conveyed to
the said terminus. The drayman heard him through
with sleepy look, and then replied -'L don't care
nolhin' bout them things, but what want Is
chance to dump my ioad." f''Yes that Is just whit
I've been saying" CALCULATED tho man Of the dicton
ary Tho laborer went away, muttcrug IN soliloQuy:-
"Larnin' is a funny thing II that teller meant dump
my load. why didn't he say soS thought he was
talKin' Greek"
spirituasts have evolved q and startling
characteristic, but one which 10 not likely to DO
tensively initiated They have made all tho details
immortality as clear smoked glass through the
agency OF tho "lujuu" who takes possession OF the
medium and talks nonsense for price; but their
revelations we mad Supposed had made II rather un-
desirable 10 die 1t seems preferable 10 accept the
EXTREMIST orthodoxy a. and prepare Tor warmer
weather than be doomed 10 como back md rap one's
knuckcs sore hardwood tables Tor tho delectaion
OF gulls. Miss Mamie Lee, however-not the Nancy
Leo Of tho sailors yarn, but romantic maioen
| OF the wost-has just "suicided" with the
left word that sho aud Fanny would appear
together at s6anco to be held In Terre
Hautc, and then swallowed the hemlock with q child
like smile. This making appointments to moot In an.
other world and engaging to reappcar on earth at
givon date has an air OF uncertainty which IS not
quite attractive. Mamie may be glad OF IN oppor-
tunity TO wander behind ice cart and cool off, but
the perm may not be given. Lovelorn maidens
can do better than drink henlock, ut least long
there are honest who want honest Wives Scnti-
mental bosh poor foundation either for tho pros
ent or the future.
When we SEQ poor women trying to get a living by
making shirts Al ten cents apiece or teaching In
public school ut hall the salary which tho masculine
gender demands Tor the same work. VIC feel that the
| htlle grl was right who said, al wish God would
| smash me all to pieces and mako me into q boy"
George Muller, the English phianthropist, recently
said tnat II the people would give hi,n houseiu Of
gold he could not be persuaded TO enter theatre.
II wo owned that houscful however, w0 should cx-
pect to live atcr~ard in the pOorhouse II
| made tho offer. George may be q good man, but ior
the sake OF spending whole houseiul Of gold on tho
moor he might be persuaded enjoy tho ''Black
Crook" for evening. These boasts are beautiful
| things AS for ourselves, we couldn't bc persuaded
| TO say a naughty word for pcck OF diamonds SO
| try US and soc.
| Mr. Bercsiord Hopo said that II Parliament should
allow diseentcrs be buried In parish churchyards
Il .swould be virtual recognition Of dissenting minis.
ters us preachers OF the Gospel" Such catastrophe
10 irghtui 10 contemplate. That member OF ''the
Church" should lio IN grave next to the one occu
pied by n man who was only Methodist Is enough to
curdie one's hood. We have received Information
| from an authentic sourcc-Mr. Slade. the medium
| that up yonder the only church recognized Is the
Church Of England. The Wesleyan chapels are all
| outside the city walls
| Certain profound theological questions arc moro
oasy comprohended by ordinary intelligence than by
scholarship. man OF books, not givon to overmuch
faith, said to a coored thinker, ''sam. you tell mo
that We can be In spirit and that the spirit DO
In US at tho same time. Won't you tell mo how that
IL possibioY" You soc. sur dat pokerY" replied tho
tinted member. "Certainy see IT," "Wcll sar, l
puts aat poker IN dc Ore till II gets red hot. Now,
den, what happens sarP Why, do POKER is In do are
and dc IRE s In de poker; don't you see, sarS An
dat 10 what mean by 'llgon."
Stories OF childhood and It's theological speculaons
are always attractive. small boy playing with
thistle, when as natural consequence somo Of tho
spines fastened themselves hand. As he picked
after another ho turned to his father and
said, .'Fa,her did God make cverythingS" ''Ycs my
child every thing" "And did He make this thistle :"
''Yes, whyY" because I'm thinking that Ho whit
tied these prickcrs pretty sharp, that's ALL"
There IL u certain class Of people whom we always
avoii They mean wel aud they are undoubtedly
good, but they rasp you 10 the last point OF cndur
ancc. In our boyhood wo once sa. down, by mistake
| OF course, on ant hill In fcw moments we wcro
| made aware thatthe seat not comfortable. There
wcro ants In our pantaloons In our hair and In our
boots They we're tiny creatures, and pretty enough
| to look at with microscope, but as explorers OF
tho human system, determined TO nnd every crack
and crovcc OF The geography OF tho body, they were
a very disagrceable success. Well, there are some
men who mako you feel as though you had been SIT
| ting on one of these ant hills. You arc bitten and
pinched all Every word thcy utter seems TO have
a ppper Of its own. Tho word ,s according TO them,
all wrong anu society and 80 are politics and so
is religion. II they would only turn round and bite
themselves once Ia a while they would nnd out what a