Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-10-24

gar, and hye-cent cigars out Of tobacco,
he will be entitled to niche /. section
A. Temple of Fame.-Neav London TeEe-
gram.
''Mariah! Mariah! please let me in,'
said man to his wife, who was looking
out of the window watching him trying
to open the door with a toothpick. "Tsh
tread on my key, and it's all fattened
ont. "-Erchangs
These Moneolians is improyin," as
the Gold Hill miner thoughtfully re-
marked, the other day, when the China
man quietly blew a hole through a
white loafer who had just spit in his
face.-.Sap Francisco Nelcs-L Letter.
/ She handed him piece of smilax to
admire, and after fond gaze he gave it
hack, saying, 'Your smile lacks nothing
in the line of beauty" She tried to
look sad and wondered what it all
meant aniekonuiHe Sentinel.
The spirit of emulation in funerals is
in strict obedience to public sentiment.
Coming from the burial of friend Dan
bury young woman said to her mother:
Did you ever see such a cheap looking
SO4 koS' -DuHOuTy NCUS.
The potato bug signs YEARLY as he
commences to dig down through the
SIX or eight feet of earth under which
he IS found all winter by the most en-
terprising liars. Life is not all play
ground even for the potato-bug.- Bridge
port Standard.
The art of printing vii! never be COM
plete till Professor Edison, or some one
else, invents means of conveying to
readers ears the shriIl whistle that es-
capes d young husbands lips when he
first learns that his wife has twins
Boston Commercial.
One of the great needs of this country
is vest pocket deep enough to take in
the whole length of the extra cigar, so
man can look his fellow square in the
eye and say, "No, I'm sorry, but this is
the last, and nave already had it in
my mouth. u Cincinnati Breakfast Table.
Whenever man begins to feel that
he is so great that the country is stand
ing out in the middle of the road wait
ing for him to come by, then it is about
time for his friends to took up some
soft place in lunatic asylum to lay
him down in Cincinnati Breakfast To-
OLE i
Some man with an eagerness for fame
has invented spring-seat saddle that
will rock man to sleep on the hardest
going animal. What this country needs
| is some kind of saddle that will hold a
man down on the roof of q horse when
he suddenly, and without warming,
points al the sky with his tail.--Break-
fast IobLe.
This is the season." says the Free
Press, "when the girl. whose stern
father has kicked her lover outdoors,
packs up few things, writes an eight
| page letter to her mother, drops a
clothes-iine from her chamber window,
and at midnight, when silence reigns,
raises the sash, sees how dark it is,
and-jumps into bed as fast as she
cam"
A man, d good. broad-hearted, strong
limbed christian man may stand it,
when he can't run fast enough to get
away, to have a nine-year old ram help
him, at short intervals. ali the way
across a ten-acre field. and over a seven
rail fence. and not get so very mad
about it, but it does Just make his soul
rise within him when the shameless goat
laughing derisively through the fence,
shouts after him in hooking tones,
"Buttin', buttin' who's got the buttin'?'-
HdWkeye,