The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-02-13
SUNBEAMS.
Western Settlers-Six-shooters.

query: "Why do animals fear firef',
Southern professor answers; because IRE
is hot"
Brickmakers die very young; not be-
eauss the gods love them, particularly, but
because there's is such kiln business.
A Nevada girl has discarded her lover
because he refused to drink with her father
adding the cruel words: "Ketch me a
marryin' a man who can't stand drink Of
whiskey!"
"I'd kinder like candy cat," he solilo-
quized, as he surveyed the toys, ian that
'ere tin hoss would just put me on my hind
legs for JOY But gifts nuthin '-nuthin'
but cold ears, shivers and shakes"
An Englishman, who was in the habit OF
distributing his HIS promiscuously, on
seeing the word hotel on a sign spelled
hotelI, soberly remarked that they must
have put another hell on that word since he
went to school.
1t is told for fact that little faxen
haired boy of five years, who had passed
the afternoon at the Boston Art Museum,
looking up in his mothers face, said "If
all the mammas, when they die, turn into
mummies, do all the papas turn into pup
pies!"
"I had nine children to support and it
kept me busy" said Smith to Jones, as
they met, "but one of the girls got mar
ried. Now | have" "Eght?'' in
terrupted Jones. "No, ten--counting the
the son-in-law" said Smith, with a sigh,
which might have been heard atar off,
Scene in debating society: President
We will take the eyes and noes on the
previous question. Member-A word or
two Mr. President: friends Romans, count
rymen! lend me your ears. President
Order, sir! We will take the eyes and noes
first.
An old lady sleeping during divine SER
vice'in church in Liverpool, let fall her
bible with clasps to it; and tue noise
partly awakening her, exclaimed aloud,
"W hat! you've broken another jug, you
slut, have you?"
The cobbler's last words 81 feel that |
,car weaker each succeeding day, and that
| am fast approaching my end; few more
stitches, and all will be over; and shall go
where there is rest for the weary sole and
every sorrow will be heeled,' Having said
apI he wished, he calmly breathed his last.
81 WISH" said the slight and elegant
Mrs. Fitzbob to her friend Mrs. Tigg,
whose embonpoint was strikingly hand
some-"I wish had some Of your fat, and
you some of my lean" "f'll tell you
what is the origin of the wish, - replied the
fair wit; "you think too much Of me, and
too little of yourself.".
Couldn you give me something to do? "
asked poor boy at Michigan shingle
factory, the other day. NO" said the
owner, tive are all full now." The boy
looked sad and was about to 20 away
when bright thought seized upon him
and, turning again to the owner, he inquir.
ed; 'Don't you need boy to test shingles
on?" But even then the lad could get nc
position, for the man had boy Of his own
A man with four wives was brought be-
fore Dutch Justice for commitment or
charge of bigamy. "Four wives! ex
claimed the astonished Hans, " four wives
Dat vos a mast hinocious crime! Dis
charch him at vonst." =" Why" protest
ed the prosecutor, "why discharge hin
when the proof is positive? Will the cour
explain?" " Yes, | explains. OFF he Ii
init four wives he got punishment enough
| lir init Won, und l got doc much bunish
50 ment already"
: A Louisianian caught negro carrying
off some of his fancy poultry the othe
night What are you doing with IN
/ chickens" he yelled. I" wuz gwine te
fetch 'em back, boss. Dsre's nigge
'roun' here what's been 'sputtin' longe
me bout dem chick uns. / said dey wa
, Coaching Chyniz, an he said dey wa
Alabama pullets, and wuz jest takln' Ell
! 'roun' for ter stabblish my nolledge. De
. don't lay no aigs, does dey, boss? Ef de
does, I'm mighty shamed Ell hustlin' Nv Ell
, .roun.' Aigs is sease.
< Some young darkies in Atlanta, Georgia
: were creating disturbance outside tn
< church door on Sunday night. Old s
y came out and said: "Clear On, fun heal
: you chatterin' crows, you.' Amen
5 said boy. Go on, now! | ain gwne te
4 hab no foolin, heah; | set my foot down o
e dat!' continued ST. u hear d yer! Whe
you sot yer ole foot down, hit sounds lik
turnin' ober dry goods box!' rejoined ar
other boy. Yes; an eff | come out da
an fan yor coat-tail wild dis boot, YOU
think dat you is sot down on de forrer
eend OBJ de coides' winter dat we's had hea
-, sence de big snow in 40I' The boys lett.
A man was landed at the ferry dock th
: other day dripping wet and shivering ii
+ the rattle of his teeth could be heard fort
! feet away. When taken into saloon
) thaw out some one passed around the ha
= remarking that tue victim was poor man
/. The man to whom the hat came first calle
: out, '' Where was it that you Fell into til
: riyerY.'' cor the Canadian s;," s;y,. i" wa
the reply. "Then not one cent can yo
+ get from mel" continued the man. It
every true patriots duty to succor thos
: who fall into American waters. but I'll b
hanged if I'm going to help run two couI
!, tries!" And the collection srou2ted t
only four cents. ......
t WHERE THE SUN JUMPS A DAY
Chatham Island, lying off the coast {
: | NJ - n IL >a"Co.4L