Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1878-06-13

Wit and Hzlz,,Oy':
\ bank OF depcsit-A mud bank.
Rejected h.aNiiscript-Notes at nrote

Vp1I ana HUDIO7':
\ bank OF depcsit-A mud bank.
! Rejected h'asiisctipt-Notes at protest
, Pars-nips don't make the old man
vegetarian.
2 For the list OF firms who haven't failc,
+ please see our advertising columns.
Weassspect that war is going to be in
evltable tor several years yet.-B,lfalo Er
: press.
Never strike mai When re is down.
unless you can't lick him any other way.
1.-The older the tree the thicker til,
bark = but the older the dog the thinner
the brrk.
There is no danger of any person starry
ing as long rs they n make both end.
meat.
Do not insult the under man in iioh
by telling him there is plenty of room or
top.
1t appears that Jonah would have lef
the whale several days before he did bu
tll:it lie llatI no umbrella.
The difference between a dull preacher
and man drilling Il rock is that cne is /:
clerical bore and the other is 4 la-boier:
Our ancestors, tie monkeys. couldn't
have been so ignorant. after all. They
were all educated in the high branches.
The average man doesn't want an ele
phant on his hands.-SpriagfeM RepuJH-
can. No; nor on his his toes, either
Boston Post.
There is one class of men who don't
want Congress to adjourn. 1t is the fl-
lows who keep liquor saloons in Washing
ton.
The latest definition of an endorser
''lle is a man who signs commercial
pi!iopena with his friend and gets
caught"
\ bachelor advised friend of his who
was looking for a female partner, to ''get
hold of apiece of calico that would wash.''
~ on cant make twice three seven. not
by a good deal Yes. you can. You
can come within one Of it, The arguing
stopped there.
No wonder a slip is called "shei'' She
has shifts, stays. an apron, hooks and eyes,
pins. caps and ribbons, hoods poppets. and
a husband.
! The pi!onograph is like the small BROTH
er of tuuilg lady. 1t will repeat every
thing said in its presence without regard
to bushes.
Most any one would rather be shot with
a rife than be talked to death by a smooth
bore. II YOU can't see the perfume Of that
mild Witicism, why jest mr;sket.
\ Deadwood paper mentions the shoot
ing OF Chris. Hoffman. Il saloon keeper of
that city. 1t says "he was shot twice in
the abdomen and once in tie barber shop
adjacent
'.lim@ me tight is the latest article of
feminine wardrobe. Painful and shock
ing as it may be to our nervous system
we will do our entire duty in the premises,
ladies'.
England to Rtlssia-''My mother can
lick your father!' Russia '.Yes. but
1856 is no Crimerian to go by. Come
over and see me how. - Detroit Free
Press.
The phonograph MAJ bottle up the voice
and pass it down to future ages; but the
smile that twists the face of a man as he
seeks solitude and g;ises tipon his name in
print for the first time Will always have to
be guessed at,
At the end Of the first year comes the
''cotton wedding," explains lin exchange
And that is not the only thing that comes
at the end Of the first year. Sometimes
poverty comes. sometimes the mother-;n-
law, and sometimes twins.
A leading health journal says: '.Never
go to bed with cold feet If your feet
are cold, you'd better leave them down
stairs alongside of the kitchen fire when
you go to bed. The advice given in the
health journals should be needed:
Several years ago a young niah in New
Orleans put sum of money in savings
bank and forgot all about it until recently.
when, after reckoning up the interest, it
was fohntl that-the bank had failed.
Noiristown Herald: ''Mark Twain told
a newspaper reporter that he was going
abroad III order to find quiet place to
write, where he would not be disturbed
once day. 1t is singular that it never oc-
CURED to him to remain ut his home and
secure desk in store that doesn't adyer-
.ise''
The Nevada man who had seven hOmely
daughters, tor Il box of cigars got the To-
cal editor to publish rumor that lie was
a desperate old niiser who had seven bar
rels of gold buried in his cellar. and all his
daughters were married eff in four months
from that date.