The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1878-10-31
ALI Sorts Of Paragraphs.

all Sorts of Paragraphs.
| Sow good thoughts and you will
reap good actions.
"A true woman loveth flowers-the
kind the new fall bonnets are trimmed
with.
"A French writer has described
young lady as q creature that ceases to
kiss gentlemen at twelve and begins
again at twenty.
- The true pleasure of temperance,
and the many benefits that follow sobri-
ETY., cannot be imagined by those who
live dissipated lives.
A little girl wanted more buttered
toast, but was told that she'd had enough,
and that more would make her i'll.
"Well," said she, "give me anuzzer piece,
and send for the doctor"
Said railroad engineer to an Irish
man, whose COW had been killed, "But
she didn't get out of the way when
rang the bell" Faith, thin," said Pat,
"ye didn't shtop whin she rang her bell,
naythur."
A Williamsburg man woke his wife
the other night, and, in a startled tone
of voice, informed her that he bad swal-
lowed dose of strychnine. "Well, you
fool" said she, "lie still, or you may
vomit it up!"
"A Dutchman, getting excited over
an account of an elopement of married
woman, gave his opinion thus: "If my
wife runs away nit anoder mans wife, l
shake him off out his preeches, if she be
mine fadder, mine Got!
- Meat can be prevented from scorch-
ing during the roasting process by sim
ply placing q basin or cup of water in
the oven. The steam generated not only
prevents scorching, but makes the meat
cook nice.
A very careful Bridgeport man al
ways carries bottle of whisky in his
pocket as an antidote for rattlesnake
bites. He is now over fifty years old and
has never once died of rattlesnake bite,
and he attributes his escape to tie anti
dote.
1t is estimated by those who are
interested in buying cotton at low
price, that the crop for the present year
will be in the neighborhood of 5,500,00O
bales. Should this estimate prove to be
correct, it will be the largest crop ever
grown. ..,o
Senator Blaine, on salary of s., ono
per annum, and without any other visible
means of support, has accumulated, ac-
cording to common report, about 81 ,0OO,..
600. He is a nice man to talk hard
money to men with no work and empty
stomachs.
- A consignment of one hundred and
fifty live possums was recently received
in Columbia from Walhalla. They ar
rived by the Greenville and Columbia
Railroad, and were consigned to a color
ed caterer OF Columbia, who proposes to
put them up, fatten them, and deal them
out to customers.
"A French scientist, in communi-
cation to the Academy of Science, states
that he was able, afler having we'll inves-
tipated the subject for several years, to
say that all eggs containing the germ OF
males have wrinkles on the small end,
while female eggs are smooth.
- Glib-tongued gentlemen 60 about
the Western States in pairs, representing
to the farmers that they are commissioned
by the bureau of agriculture to obtain
minute statistics. They make many en-
tries in their books, staying to dinner or
over night, insist on paying for their
lodging because they are employed upon
government service, and pass counterfeit
X'supon their hosts, receiving the change
in good money.
In trying to be bitter Mr.. Moens,
of Boston, was bitten. He met Andrew
Bresaut, who carried bag and seemed
to be crazy. Bresant talked senselessly,
and showed that the bag contained gold
coin-S5000 he said. This money ne
wanted to leave with Moens for safe
keeping, but demanded $1,000 in paper
money as security. Moens, ready to
take advantage of the supposed MANIAC,
gave the 81, 900 and took the bag which
he afterward found to contain very little
coin and great deal of lead.
A clergyman says that be once Wis
tied lady Of his parish, who had just
lost her husband, in order to offer heI
consolation, and upon her earnest inqui-
ries as to the reunion of families in
heaven, he strongly asserted his belief in
that fact. When she asked with ankle
ty, whether any time must elapse before
friends would be able to find each other
in the next world, he emphatically said
"No! they will be united at once" He
was thinking of the happiness of being
able to offer the relief of such a faith
when she broke in upon his meditations
by exclaiming, sadly, "Well, his frs
rJc has got him, then, By this time !"
- The San Antonio (Texas) Herald
says: "a few days ago prisoner, with
face on him that excited much remarE
on account of the meanness of his ex'
preston, was brought into the district
court to be sentenced to the penitentiary
for stealing some clothes off line. Al
he was known to be very slippery char
acter, cne of our handsomest and mos
vigilant deputy sheriffs took seat by his
side. After while the prisoner Leaned
over and whispered to the officer
"Won't you do me one little kindness 2
The officer promised to do so with one o
|. the kindliest smiles we have ever seen II
a court house. The prisoner whispered
Then sit little farther off; I'd rathe
pay hundred dollars than have peopl'
take me for a deputy sheriff.
LEMON AND ORANGE.-Dr. Price