The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1878-03-30
All Sorts.
4 strong minded woman will 9
ways be speaker of the house.

ways DC spcaher vi TIC houSo'
Half the discomfort of life is the
result of getting tired of ourselves
Each beau plucks leaf from a &C
quette; so that thorns only remal q
for the husband.
In some of the new styles there -
no change. Poor relatives are GU
the same as last year.
Mark Twain says the Sandwich
Islanders are generally as unletterec
as the other side of tombstone.
Rather than see it neglected, C.
lhriity Eastern farmer is raising po
tatoes on the grave of Tom Paine.
A Tennessee funeral was delyec
for halt an hour to allow q horse
trade. Business before pleasure wa
the motto.
Artificial butter-making has never
proved success. The difficulty lies
in putting in the hairs SO that they
look natural.
A number of Alma (Wis.) sports
men who chartered steamboat to
go hunting, returned with just one
snipe.
There is man in New Jersey
who has not been to church for TWEEN
ty years. He boards at the State
Prison, Trenton.
Avoid annoyance; be cautious and
kindly. 1t is not safe to trample
upon so humble thing as bit of
orange peel.
When we see man begging his
tobacco, we feel like reminding him
of the old adage," that beggeIs
must not be chew -sers.
A young fellow in Grundy equity,
Iowa. wanted to charge his girl 20cts
for his picture, informing her at
the time that it originally cost
quarter.
The best way to play billiards is
to sit in high chair aud make re-
marks, because then you are certain
to win, however the balls may cir
cnlate.
A Brockport man dreamed recent
" that his aunt was dead, and the
dream proved true. He tried the
SAINT game with his mother-in law,
put it didu't.work worth cent.
An experienced teacher says that
it is impossible for Sunday school
scholar. with boil, to satisfactory
fasten his mind down even upon
the simplest exposition of the scheme
of salvation.
At one of the depOts, was a family
of seven nersons, out of money and
not Knowing where to go or what to
do, and they bore names as follows:
.'Hvrtense,; "Viola,r Augustine"
est. Clare,r ''Percival," "Clemen-
tine" and "Flora Belle"
Miss Kellogg says that the Ameri-
can girls have the sweetest voice in
the world. When one of them puts
her mouth to hole in the fence and
"hollers' 10 the girl the next door
to '.frch back them crimping irons,"
it fills the air with melody.
Prudent mother-"Don't look at
Prof. Won Bulge SO, Dora dear, or
people will think you are in love
with him." Dora (who Is inconsola-
BILE for the loss of her darling little
poodle) --'.I cant help it ma; he is
the exact image of poor Mopsym
SIS there any person you wish me
to marry p said wife to a dying
spouse. who had been somewhat of
"a tyraut in his day. "Marry the
devil, if you like" was the gruff re-
ply. mo, | thank you, my dear,
one husband of the same family is
enough for me-"
A man who had saved the life OF
a daughter of a Boston millionaire,
received 81 30 from the grateful
parent. He was so overcome with
the magnificent bounty that he paid
out every cent of it to seventeen or
gan grinders To simultaneously SER
enade his benefactOr.
Maria is very popular name in
Illions. When cat climbs back
fence in ~ well-populated neighbor-
hood and plaintively calls out MA
riarl" twenty or thirty windows
are hastily thrown mp, from which
protrude twenty or thirty female
heads wildly answering what"
. When old Sam, Crowder, down
in Pike, WAS running for Justice Of
the Peace, his wife, in anticipation
of honors in store for her: "My
dear, when you get to he Justice OF
the Peace, what viii be I" YOU
said old Sam, ''why, you'll be the
same old fool you always was"
We al! of us complain Of the short
ness OF time. and yet have much
more than we know what to do