The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1878-09-06
HUMOROUS,

Beaconsfeld's going about London witt
the strut Of q Turkey gobbler.
Russian names are imposing but canno,
be Justly called pronounced successes.
Wonder why it never occurred to Mood,
and Sankey to devote a few years to the
Niagara Falls hackmenr
The ReokuE Constitution suprests to thu
Weather Clerk that q motion to adjourn 4
always in order.
The temperance people ought to brinO
their batteries to bear against the Judiciary.
A full Bench is no uncommon sight.
Don't put on unlimited frills, Beacons-
field. Goodwin Smith declares that the
Berlin Congress was q "burglarious con.
claye." -
"Can love die 2" inquiries Mary e. Nealy
in o recently published poem. It cannot.
though it gets ~dreadfully adjourned occa.
sionally. IS lH1mds s
Never say die" OF course not. IT'S
Just as easy and much more elegant to re.
mark that the vital spark has absented
itself. ri
Warrington Post. We care nothing for a
Thomas Concert" We can near one on
the back woodshed any night without pay
ing a cent.
"A schooner Of beer for five cents " Is
translated by q French paper SO as to read,
In America you can get q boat full Of beer
for Eve cents"
The Fulton Times says that a patch on q
boys trousers is r'something new under
the sol" True, md it shows that the
youngster wasn't reared in affiuence.
Lady Gladys Herbert. ono of the prettiest
women In London, is likewise one of the
~tallest, being six feet in height. A case Of
what's its name sweetness long drawn out.
Mary Clemmer writes that when Winnie
Ream ~buttonholes a man she throws pack
her head, spreads out her face beneath his,
and begins to sob. The man feels himself
. stucco image on the spot. in
1t Is time that the old favorite summer
~conun1rum had its annual airing-what's
the difference between Saratoga and New
port? AT the latter you go into the water,
at the former the water goes into you.
The Baltimore Bulletin records the fact
that Mrs. Mccormick, of the Monumental
City, has just given birth to five healthy
children. We thought that nothing would
beat four Of q kind, but it seems we were
mistaken.
"Why is it, my dear sir" said Wafles'
landlady to him the other day, THAT you
newspaper men never get rich =" 1--WE
do not know" was his reply, Except it is
that dollars and sense do not always travel
together"
The greatest benefactor Of the female
sex on this continent, according to the
Chicago Times, is Judge Grant, of Daven-
port, Iowa. He has adopted seventeen
girls, raised them, and married most of
them off with generous endowments."
$50 you are going to keep a school,
said a young lady to an old maiden aunt.
Well, for my part, sooner than that I
would marry a widower with o children"
Il would prefer hat myself; but where
is the widower ?"
lone who Knows" asks the public
through the Boston papers to suspend judg-
ment on somebody for the present. Well
all do it. Until this heated term ends no
man wants to carry anything IN either body
or mlno reyopd what is absolutely nere,
sary.
A philosopher writing in one of our ex-
changes advises young men to "haye a
system" He speaks the words of wisdom;
but just now, seeing how much precaution
is necessary to keep it in order, n mar is
inclined to wish he could dispense with his
system until the Fall.
We grieve to observe that the amenities
of journalism nave broken out again in the
West. The Bloomington Leader declares
that the Peoria Journal is " as vacillating
as q flea twenty minutes after bedtime"
while the Chicago Tribune calls the editor
of the Chicago Times q pewter ass"
The Le Roy Gazette puts this pointed
question to whom it may concern " Look
here, you vasabond Have you got a lot
of borrowed books thai. should rave been
returned long, long ago?" The vagabond
doubtless has. but il he OF all resembles
his fellow bookks.per in these parts, a
regiment of Moodys and q ton of dynamite
couldn't quicken his conscience. q
Latest World Eablo: A Loquacious Bar
Der being deeilous of replenishing his
Stock of Bears grease, and knowing a
Bank wherein q wild Bear slept, armed
himself with his Razor and proceeded noise
lessly IN tiptoe to the Spot. He was just
about to take the Bear by the Nose and cut
his Throat, when his Professional Instinct
impelled him to asl. his intended Victim if
he would not have q Bottle of Micepherous,
to prevent the falling out of his hair. Thus
appraised of his danger, the Ferocious
Plnntigradc had no difficulty in killing the
Loquacious Barber. No,dl-Go Thou and
Do Likewise.