The Morning herald., 1878-06-07
SUNDCAMu,
Made of awl work shoes.

SoOuuu lAfCotIuSiiO IcICHllOu6s
ASt. Louis woman 'd;ed without mcdi-
cal assistance"
A.! poets and painters tf,,o q hack OF
Niagara Fails.
Who ever heard of a barber taking in
silent partner?- Worcester Press.
The time to buy u new hat-When the
band begins to play.
The latest song out is entitled ''1he Gas
Dill." 1t is sung long meter.
Germans do no fish for sport. -Erchance.
What sort of shad is that?
If I were in the sun and YOU were
out of it, what would tls sun become?
Sin.
Real Estate is higher in the Rocky
Mountain district than in any other part of
the country.
No matter how careful boy may be of
his clothes, he will wear pair of panta-
looms much longer when he is a man.
In reply to the question, GLOW did you
kill so many rats, Mike! 2" the enthusiastic
.hostler said: II strychnine of them at
waust, sir!" ae.,.
Little boy at the opening Of proposed
spelling match:-''Let's start for fair,
grandmother. You take NebucLanezzar
and I'll take cat"
We saw young man with two heads on
his shoulders the other day. but didn't con-
slider 1t much of curiosity. One be-
longed to his girl.
A Nevada politician was elected on the
merits of one single speech. All lie said
was: E'Fellow countrymen, folio" me to
.yonder saloon"
''What does Transatlantic mean, NAM
ma ?" "Across the Atlantic, child. Hold
your tongue, and ask no more questions.
''Then does transparent mean q cross
mamma2"
." A Frenohman says that Americans do
not have handsome chins Foreigners ex-
pect us to be wipipg off our chins all
the time, and yet to keep them hand
some.
Hotel guest on retiring: -'T want
to get up at eight o'clock" Face
tious night clerk Have not got one SIR"
Guest mot got what?" Clerk, IA potato
clock"
"What is tho meaning Of backbiter9"
asked gentleman at Sunday school exaln-
ination. This was puzzler 1t went down
the class until it came to simple urcAin,
who said, "Perhaps it is flea"
A poor actor with book under his arm
was entering pawnbroker's shop, when
he encountered friend, who inquired
what he was going to do. "Only 60
ing to spout Shakespeare" was the
reply.
A little girl who was spending few
days with farmer uncle, visited the barn
yard, and while looking at the well fed
COWS, remarked, "Why, uncle, just see I!
all the COWS are chewing gum, aren't
they?"
A man has just died in Scotland aged one
hundred and seven years. He never
wore a coat, and that fact encourages us
to hope that, with q poor one, we can
suffer along to about eighty. --Ert0Jcp0r
Standard.
In an English court, the other day, the
plaintiff would certainly have won his case
had he not incidently remarked that lie
wouldn't take the throne of England as
gift. That speech foored him in
minute.
May trouble you to tell me the time? ?
''Let he see. When l pawntd my Watcl
it was Just nine by it. Half all hours wall
from 'uncles' here, two glasses of beer
say seven and half minutes each, tina
would be-yes-a quarter to ten exactly !"
A Sunday school teacher was tellln;
her scholars the other Sunday about bat
boy who stole hundred dollars, when she
was interrupted by one of her auditors witt
the query: "And how the dickens did h
get such bully chance!"
A young mother, explaining christening
to her 6ve-year-old boy, told HIM th''
when he was christened he ''would be on
of Gods little lambs" And will L haV
hind legs and go baa?" eagerly asked tn
boy.
Professor: "And now, young gentle
men, which of you can tell me the name o
the greatest of the planets-the champlo
planet, SO to speak, of our solar system
Student: 81 can sir; it's Saturn" Pro
fessor: "And how is that pray? Student
Why, because he carries the belt"
"What's de time O. day, ole oman" sal
colored countryman to Aunt Milly re
Gently, trying to poke fun at the bras
chain that held her front door key aroun
that young lady's neck. Look at til
town clock, chile OATS built for pt
folks. y Vicksbuy Herald.