Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1878-01-08
.nll 80 a re,n Of 80 hno .crtne

Fnll many gem Of rsrcI hue serrne
The dtrk. uniathomcd caves OF ocean tt2fi
Full many a maid who toyed with kerott ne
Has gently cl4mberel up The golden sla'r.
Never put of until tomorrow what you
can pc, some one else to DO to-day.
A muf-a thing that holds ayoung la
dies hand without ,queeziDg 1t
Mr.. Turreen. Of laiianapoli', has Ju,t
20, married. 1. is to br hoped that his
wife is al 10 ike
Fir.t irste iemale-"I'd hate 10 he II
your shoes - Second d!iio-"lod couldn't
get in them
They raise vegetable ~taliow in Austria
ia. There Is where the gardener can
laugh and grow iat"
4 suicide by use Of ,h, pistol il an a.
tempt to solve the prob.em Of hic 10y irig-
gernometry.
flows your husband thi, evening, Mrs.
Quaggs ?" NO improvement, doctor one
way or the other"
The man who goes up a fight Of stairs
three steps at time, Is the ono who gets
rich and dies early.
Never write letters to a widow. She a.
ways takes down the old box and compares
yours with the other mans
4 gentleman, reprlmandlng his little son,
was surprised TO hear the youngster OBJ
serve: Father, remarks are unnecessa-
ry."
The latest style in womens hats Is the
"Cinque Mars" l, would probably sink
Paris to pay for One.-Nashyille Ameri'
can.
Fielding says that ulen like women o.
posits to them. Certainly there Is nothing
nicer. provided there are two Ice creams
between them.
The editor who saw a lady making Tor
the only empty seat in car found himself
crowded out to make room for more inter-
esting matter
\ man GU; in Sac county was gored to
death one day last week by savage cav
The coroner's jury might have brought IN
the verdict, "kinedneSs."
A novel but rather effectual way OF pres
sing autumn leaves was introduced by q
Daaiorth man, who slipped on one, alb
rup;ly pressed hundred Of them.
Blanks for people who want to swear OF
the first of January can be found at this
Office. \ regular justice of the peace Is
connected with the establishment.
A Nantucketer has raised wheat from
seed found in the hand Of an Egyptian
mummy. He is now experimenting with
corns taken from the mummy's feet.
An Englishmsu,recsntIy arrived IN Dos
too, has distinguished huusef By biting a
mans thumb olf We suppose he iaust
have come from Gnsw,humberland.
A Mississippi Granger Is opposed to
railroads. lie says that when ne goes 10
town they bring him home so qui;k ne
hasn't time to &c, sober before he arrives.
why do you use paint p asked ylo-
linist of mis- daughter. For the same rea'
son that you use rosin, papa. "How Is
that p why, TO help NE draw my
beau"
We hear that the weather down south
has become so cold that shoemakers have
given up sherry cobblers. They have be-
gun on the stirrup cup. They awl do
| it.
A reporter Oh Chicago newspaper was
dismissed last week for speaking OF Chi
cago business house 1.-The largest in the
West" instead of 1.-The largest in the
world"
The Herald man intimates that if a
Christian woman could change her sex
she would become he-then. Not so ;
she would merely be converted to pant-he
ism.
The family of an inveterate topper, whose
dial was profusely ornamersed with "Whls-
key-blossoms, refused to longer tolerate
him, as he had become a regular rye
sore.
why" asks medical journal, sis the
sensation of thirst generally felt at the sea-
side ?" Seaside? Ho, no, no May We
ask if the seaside extends clear across
this continent
Enamored writing, master TO young
lady pupil; Il can teach you nothing :
your hand is already very desirable one,
and your Is are the most beautiful L have
ever SEEN"
He gave her hearty smack. Don't
kiss like that" she said, Il want a sweet,
tender pressure when I'm kissed. don't
want any fireworks" He left out the
explosion in the next act.
The woman who hesitates is lost, and
when the country girl looks the second
time at prize package or the vegetable
ivory basket, the peanut conductor knows
he has made a sale.