The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1878-03-21

an aHeu negro utcu ~ AalNmufes re-
Gently. who was Commodore Decaiur's
cook. In other words he was dc caterer
of Decatur
A New York journalist has composed
an Editors Waltz An editors walts
u usually danced TO the tune Of More
Copy. and the music "a generally far.
niahod BY tho devil.
Il want 10 die IN harness" said Alex.
ander n. stephens IL will be a little
difficult 10 end a harness smali enough
for the purpose, but Il shall be done.
A returned missionary was recently In.
vited 20 party. where All the ladies ap.
pearcd In low cut dresses. said be 10
his host. u don't mind u al al I've
spent ten years among the aavages."
A candid Kentucky editor advances
the suggestion that special taK Of si on
each pistol owned ia the State would
beat the bell-punch plan for taxation All
hollow. lie wants 10 tax EN- By the bar
rel, instead Of BY the drink.
George has had a great many poll.
backs IN his life, said the you * vile 20
her lady friend. Yes. ! saw him with
one yesterday" the young wife didn't
know what che meant BY H.
when a devoted wife holds her hus.
band out at arms length By his sore ear.
and siys she woubin't crush = worm. he
realizes. All at ono. how fcarfully and
wonderfully women are made.
She was quoting. There ia more joy
IN. "lea. interrupted Filkina,
more jaw In this house than In the com.
bined show cases Of the BoWory dsntiati :"
An ominous silence has hung up ita foot.
fall on the doormat
Good clothes make more difference
with the worlds opinion thnn a GOOD
many people are willing 10 admit How
do you suppose senator ConklinR wouid
look climbing the heights Of fame vita a
patch on his pantalooun
That's our family trce." said an Arkan-
saa youth. a. he pointed 20 q vigorous
hemlock. "A good many of our folks
have been hung on that tree Tor borrcrin'
horses"
Worth says not ono woman ia ten
knows how 10 sit down on a dress fe
means her own. of courte Any women
can sit down on nnother's In = stage o.
horse car, and do 10 scientifically the
hrat time.
Ma screamed young Matilda spil.
kina the other morning when she eat
the paper ia. Silver Biil has Just passed
the House" q" Has he. my dear 2 replied
Mrs. $. from upstairs. why didn't you
ask him in 2
IL is said that a ministers son Of Wa.
tcrloo. y. y. cast a gloom over an entire
church fair by walking up 70 the grab bag
and prize cake table. aud demanding
that tha game BE- explained 20 him bo.
ioec he bought his chips.
A couple Of fellows who we're pretty
thoroughly soaked with bad whisky. got
into the gutter After noundcrius about
for q few minutes. ono Of them said.
Jim. let's 50 10 another houae-this
hotel leaks"
printer. meddling with tho verdict
of a corouer'a jury. struck out a comma
after the word "apoplrxy." making ID
read thus Deceased came 20 hia death
BY excessive drinking. producing apo
plcxy In the minds Of tho jury"
Prisoner" said one Of the magistrates
u petty session held fow days since
not FAR from Banhuryi prisoner. you are
,harged with aiding and abctting az a
prize fight Please. cir. ] take my Goa.
pei oath didn't bet iarihing upon H."
vas the reply.
A poor old woman who had worked and
.oilod for nearly sixty years. said. II she
didn't think she'd have rcst In the next
world, she'd tio a millatono around her
neck. aud jump into the river. aud 60 10
The bottom and stay there as long as sho
lived
When / die let me be buried within
Inc sound Of the hammer. the clans Of
.hc workshop. the hum Of the mill. saya
.he candidate tn hts speech And then
be- goes home aud sets In the rocking
shair while his wife carries the coal out
Of the cellar 10 set supper with.
A little fellow being told By a young
man 10 get OF his knee. that be Wa too
heavy 10 hold in that way. made quite n
sensation among the persons present BY
yelling back-"foo heavy. hcy9 Sister
Sal weighs hundred pounds more than
!, aud you held her on your knee ior
four hours last night"
Tho last snake story l. 10 the effect
hat p-Fty Of school girls tn Pcnnayl
fania wee attacked By rattlcsnakea. aud
that the girls. % scare the makes. eK.
posed their red skirts upon which tho
reptiles ran away Now let every devoted
wiio whose husband Be- attacked ~
snakes shake her red skirt at them.
10 there ia anything that viii make the
old man think that n aharpera tooth
bites worse than a scrpont'a child. Il il 20
have his daughter beat him out % . dol.
lAr % frame and glaze a Welcome
Home. and then lay 10 on a parior chair.
where he sits down on it Ia The dark
Cats can't live az a greater elevation
than 1900 feet above the level OF the
sea but u a wooishcd vas built 1900
feet above the level % the sea. aud a fcw
iamilic. lived that high in the vicinity.
It is pretty certain that cats wnuld rnt on
top of tho shed 90 howl. or perish IN the
attempt
Montana has a population % 50.ulo.
lnd not one business failure has occurred
during the past year This prosperous
showing is due 10 che fact that when q
man j. on thr verge OF bankruptcy bis
ncighbors take him cut
and hang him o. tree. Thus business
Integrity l. encouraged aud thrift a
A traveller Ia western Iowa while rid.
ing along came 90 a large sign. which i'm.
plorrd him 20 Look out tor the locamo-
tive lie accordingly rode down tho
track foF a better view. and while be was
obhriugiy looking out foF b. it came
alunE llc saw De- but BE- bad 10 80 in
thr ditch aud wait until a freight train
ol thirty seven ears passed by, before ho
could ret back 10 Tho other piece of his
horse.