The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1878-09-07
mo. A..
An sorts.

OpnctuOttu np ionSci W hutttis
He bazzes around, and with a mournful
sound.
Burics himself deep in the butter.
A homely> carl-playcr is plain
dealer.
"This must he looked into,r Us the
young lady said to the mirror.
Although woman's age is unde-
.niably her own, she never owns it.
Young men and green corn always
"oop' better when they get over be-
ing green.
Profitable seaside reading-Hotel
bills. Profitable for tho hotel keep
ers, we mean.
In the palmiest days Of prosperity
Adam did not wear an Overc0at ON
the Fourth of July.
A tack points heavenward when it
means the most mischief. 1t has
many human imitators.
A new song will appear, called
"Put your arms around me pet; for
the old mans eyes are shet."
A lady, joking about her nose,
said, III had nothing to do in shap-
ing it. IL was birthday present.
The young ladies at vassar are not
allowed to have pets within the col
lege, other than the regular profess
sOrs.
The head of Boston man il
broader than it is long. rhis shows
what a bean diet will do for the
brain.
Red is used for danger signals ON
railroads, and it always means
sstop." On mans nose it ought TO
give the same warning.
Lightning rod men are around in
large numbers. just at the time Of
the year, too, when farmers don't
wear good heavy boots.
A San Francisco woman, having
no faith in hanks, carried around
50 400 in her hustle. Thus her in
come was always in arrears.
The papers report that '.Even
horses have persisted from heat du-
| ring the recent heated term The
odd ones probably escaped.
The Empress of Austria wears a
train thirty feet long, and when she
1 walks up stairs tile disheartened
Emperor goes up IN the elevator.
A young mother gives children q
stick of candy, and, to teach them
politeness, says "What do child
rem cay when they get candy n
"MOrew
To get figs from thistles. Reduce
one ton of thistles to seventy pounds
of potash. Then sell your potash
for cash. Then take the cash and
buy figs.
"A schooner of beer for five
cents,n is translated by French
newspaper SO as to read. ain Ameri-
ca you can get boat full OF beer for
five cents
s'Fine nainsook, embroidered,
makes lovely slips for children says
n fashion writer. Orange peel on n
sidewalk continues to be good
enough for men. -
Go west, young man. 1t is q
charming place. Those who don't
| freeze to death in winter get sun
struck in summer. The others get
killed by a tornado.
Parents are never satisfied. In
bathing season the ambitious infant
is thrashed for taking to water, in
later life he is held in whitening scorn
for abstaining from it.
Picnic sandwiches are all right OF
| a picnic, but when they are brought
home from the grove, and trOtted
out on the following six days, then,
indeed, patience ceases to be a vir-
tue. ~
Every once in while we hear of
California woman killing bear.
This is all right. But we challenge
the world to ransack the pages Of
history and show us where a woman
ever got away with a mouse.
I The golden wheat is falling in
graceful swaths before the swinging
cradles of the farmers. The farmer
himself occasionally walks YEARLY
to the black berry bush near the
fence, and takes long pull at the
jug.
| According to that wicked sheet,
the News Letter, there il girl in
Santa Barbar;rwith such big mouth
that the other day, when she smiled
ut a fellow ON tile street, kind
hearted little boy exclaimed with
great earnestRess, ''Look out, miss,
your lids coming OFF,
An editor is pretty certain to lose
"A patron when his foreman iladyer