The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-12-03
SUNBEAMs.

A grand shell race-the oyster.
A we'll read officer-General newa
The feathered tribes-the Indians.
A home journal-the grocer's book.
Real estate conveyances-Di carts.
The lap of luxury-A cat eating cream.
A speaking likeness-Your twin brother.
GLANDS" that work by time-A clocks.
A Detroit baker wants to know what is
;he greatest knead of the hour.
The girl of the period sits at the window
watching for the coming man.
When man gets bald in Colorado they
say his head has got above the timber
line
A joker challenged sick mans vote at
| a city election on the ground that he was
an i'll legal voter.
The reason why wine is put in mock tur.
tie soup Is probably because wine is q
nocker.
Mrs. Throwcats resides in Columbus,
Ga. If her business is all her name i'm
| plies, she ought to have constant employ
| ment.
Young men who can't or don't want to
| find work may cheer up, Twelve men of
| Titusvlle have succeeded in marrying
| school teachers.
A cockney, In speaking of the decease
of an octogenarian ut Haytl, said:
HE was born at 'Ayti, and died at
heighty.'
| Philosophers say that shutting the eyes
makes the sense of hearing more acute.
A wag says that thisaccounts for the many
closed eyes that are seen in church.
Most Christians consider the Bible more
precious than gold. But they lock up their
slverware and jewels at night and allow
the Word to remain on the parlor table.
An old bachelor said he once fell in love
with young lady, but abandoned all idea
of marrying her when he found that she
and all her family were opposed to it.
Statistics 60 to show that one-haf the
swearing used i'll the management of a
river steamboat will run three dozen rail
way trains nine times as far.-ChtcagO
Journal
Didn't your aunt die rather suddenly p
was asked of a visitor from Maine the
other day. "Why, yes was the drAwled,
out answer, 'she did die suddenly-rathel
for her,"
Some irresponsible journalist is inform
ing the people how to tell a rabid dog.
Well, if he wants to tell Ii rabid dog any
thing he may; but we prefer to communi-
cate with him by telegraph.
"Won't you ladies tell me what your
are talking aboutl' said a fop. Tim all
, ears" One of the ladies looked at him
; sharply, and said: 80 you are; yon ought
never TO get your hair cut"
An American doctor has been giving the
Spaniards kerosene baths to cure 'em OF
consumption, and some of the patients
think they feel a gread deal better than
they did. They will make good lamp
c wicks in time.
Portugal has law by which widows
over 30 years old are prevented from mar
rying again. This is as it should be
When a woman has reached that age she
should put in her time making soft soul
and putting up pickles.
"Do you call that clothes?" said, sternly
d British Customs official to the womal
. who had sworn that there was nothing il
K her trunk but clothes for herself and hus
i band, and as he spoke he pointed to sil
bottles of brandy. Yes" said she softly
'those are his night caps"
r A country damsel, describing her frs
kiss, told her female friend that she neve
J.; knew how it happened but the last thinl
: she remembered was sensation of fight
ing for her breath in hot house full O
I violets, with ventilation checked by blusl
roses and tulips.
Johnny" said sporting father
y "Johnny, what have you got i'll your fist /?
D Two pears" said Johnny. "Goos
hand" said the absent minded parent
: take the pot" then he blushed, and
pointing to brass kettle, he added, "t
e your mother"
$ "Ten dimes make one dollar" said th
schoomaster. Now go on, sir. Tel
dollars make one-what?" "Ihey max
d one mighty glad these times" replied tn
e boy, and the teacher, who hadn got hi
5 last months salary yet, concluded that til
i boy was about right.
. A Frenchman wants to know why plug
u ping a watermelon means cut hole III il
y ! while plugging a tooth is to ill it. Well
- they plug watermelon for fill, and di
q hole in tooth for plug, and you tax
p your choice between coiic and toothache
e Either is very 6llin at the price.
, IT know where there is another arm ju,
t as pretty as this one," said young 0
: Citizen to his sweetheart, as he pinche
It her fair arm yesterday evening. Th
# storm that quickly gathered upon th
r lady's brow as quickly passed away whe
e the Young man pinched her other arm an