The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1878-04-18
The Ailing Man.

I had such n pleasant companion
on my way homo FROM Aurora He
got on at Bristol end took dinner Mt
tho Cosmopolitan. He sat with me
a,.dinner, and didn't seem to have
much appetite. He groaned when
he took up the bill Of faro, and sigh
ed as he looked across the table at
my order, and then shook his head
dolefully and told the waiter TO bring
him a little boiled trout, with egg
sauce f; o bit of boiled mntton, with
caper sauce somo roast beet, triilc
rare Just q tasto OF roast lamb ,ur-
kcy, with cranberry sauce mashed
potatoes, roast duck, some pork and
bosns, Boston style, stewed tomatoes,
corn, turnip, squash, peas, q bit OF
co ID tongue, some sharp rolishes, aud
cup OF coffee. Then he ordered
some assorted cake, cranberry pie,
Indian pudding and leo crea m for
dessert, aud said hc fol I o. darncd
gsiht more like dying than eating.
If ho dies as we'll as he eats, just
Imagine, just think what aglorious,
triumphant death that mau will dio.
Shortly after dinner the poor man
camo into the coach, and SAT- down
opposite me.
"Ah," he said, with a deep eroan ;
II don't know what | would give if l
could cat like you"
"Sir," said, 10 q fine burst Of in
dIgnation, for l feared he was goiog
to accuse mo Of swallowing my knife
every timo took bite OF pie, and ]
Just mado up my mind that I would
cut his heart out il ho hinted at such
q thing.
"Ok, it's q fact" he replied, al
haven't enjoyed q meal for years"
"was it possible I" asked in a.
mazemen.. -,
Mndeed, yos," he said, "I'm oil
out of fix. I've got no liver at oil, to
speak Of =.
/ didn't suppose one liver would
be of any account to him. l rather
thought that if no would get q coup.
10 of gangs of liycrs and work them BY
reliefs, they might DO able to holr
him along, especially if he had them
made of tin. But then he was a
stranger to mo, 30 l didn't feel justi-
aod In making tho suggestion.
"No." he continued, "my liver il oI
no moro account then lump Of lead
/ suppose bo said plaintively, "it'
as big rs four Of yours
And he looked at mo with an ap
: pcaling glance, as though he expected
! mo to takc my liver out and lot blu
examine it, as though it were an orc
lido watch he wanted to trade for.
Now, il there is anything in thi
wide, beautiful world that will mak'
I me mad il is to havc man who j
ailiur sit down and boar me with {
list of his diseases and detailed do
scription OF his anatomical derango
, mcuts. And the man Of free Amerl'
r ca, it seems to me, would rather tall
about thoir pcrishing livers thar
their never-dying souls, aud it Away
makes me mad for q man to come t'
me and burden mo with complaint
, about the torpidity Of his liver. "a
though l were his physician. | au
, proud to confess to the blindest, den
sest ignorance con cerniDg my own in
Z ner life. 1 don't know whether m
liver is round or shaped like guu
case, and l don't care a continental
, although I always had tho impress
ion that il was Just under tho shoulds
|, blades. SO 1 said to tho man, will
: great enthusiasm
"Oh, do tell me all about your liv
!. or 1 should 30 like to know all q
bout it. l am so interested in sue
thin gs.'
The man looked a littlo surprised
st my sudden enthusiasm, but no SAT-
there wasn't much to tell about it. l
was as torpid, ho said, as snake
December.
"Oh, charming, char ming I I OK
, claimed. sand is it tamo ! Do 20
: let it run around loose, or do 70
keep it chained up T
Tho stranger started. and locke
: as though he would like to sit q littl
further away. lie said ho didd't ex
actly understand me. !.
"And how is your spleen y l ask
ed eagerly, "aud your ventricIes
!, And do tell mo about your thoraci,
!. duct, and how do you get along will
! your tonsils =? And have you raise
any now bones since | sew you last
! ! and when did you hear from you
! dipbrgam DO tell me oil abou
your viscers, make q clinic OF your
self aud tell me the Chaistian nam
! ! OF your bones aud the appurteuanOe
therc-unto appertaining: Tell me
Bot he got up aud slowly backe
out of the car, aud the conducto
slowly sfterward told mo that th
man With o liver told him that th
: ! man who escaped from the asylum