Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1878-08-19
FARCE or DIPLOMACY.

bis'narck Regulating the Universe : Fool.
ing the Plenipotentiaries.
London Hornet,
SCENE-An ante-chamber Of the con9rea.
Bismarck (alone)-Was fur Elm farce is
dis meeting! Elm congress! Bonner wet
ter! am der congress.
Enter Count Andrassy.)
Ach, lieber Andrassy, you are welcome.
Andrassy-You will not forget, prince, the
promise you have made me?
Bismarck-Are We not both Germans?
Everything shall be done to please you.
What do l care for Schouvalof? He ia a
Russian. For Beaconsfeld? Bah! he ia
elm dummer Highlander. For Waddington?
II me fait pitie. For the Turks? Gott in
Himmel! the Turks do make me sick.
Andrassy-Then I can have Bosnia and
Herzegovina?
Bismarck-With. all my heart.
Andrassy-Thanks, prince /; a bicntot.
= exit Andrassy.)
bismarck .(slone)-Andrassy is a good
man, but he has one little fault-he ia a fool.
Those two provinces, will prove the wedge.
that will once again split Austria into frap.
ments, 80 enlarge my spendid handiwork,
the German empire.
Enter Lord Beaconsfeld.)
" HI- . .a
Milford Bcaconsfield, a salute YOU with
e%ffusion. Ach, MILFORD, you are a kindred
spirit. You do rule England / do rule
Germany. Costa dire, you and lido rule the
world.
Beacons6e!d-Your Highneas ~flatters me.
But I am indeed glad to meet YOU. This is
a most momentous occasion. The congress
lie pregnant with the fate of nations. But
all will go we'll We two ought TO settle
everything to our mutual satisfaction.
Bismarck-Parfaitment. What do / care
for Andrassy? He is not a German; he is
a Hungarian. For W~addington? lie is a
conquered cipher. For the Turks? Bah
For the Russians? Colt in Himmel! the
Russians do make me sick.
Beaconsiield-Then Batoum, Bessarabia,
Bulgaria, the indemnity, Armenia-all,shall
be settled according to my wishes?
Bismarck-Parfaitement. According to
your wishes and those of Milford Salisbury.
Beaconsfeld-Say, rather, according II
mine only. Between you and me, Prince,
poor Salisbury doesn't count.
Bismarck-So he does not count?
Beaconefeld-Not an iota. He is the fy
upon the wheel.
Bismarck do think 20. Colt in Him.
mel! Milford Salisbury do make me sick.
Beacons6eld-We two, prince, are abou,
to regulate the Universe. Au revoir.
exit Lord Beaconsfeld)
Bismarck-So this ia the famous Disraeli
Bah he is Elm Kind, Elm kleines Kind. He
come to Berlin to settle the affairs of Europe.
TO regulatethe Universe +! T will settle him
He shall be like my Lord Salisbury.-he
shall not count. Colt Himmel! Milord
Beaconstield do make me sick.
(Enter ~Schouvalof)
All? S%chouvaloff tell me one thing. The
English are fools, l know ; but still, how
did you persuade Salisbury to sign o
agreement?
Schouvalof-Rien de plus facile, mon
cher. l have no need to tell you how bete
is Milford Salisbury. Put my ideas into his
empty head, and make him think they arr
his own: | persuaded him that the agree.
ment, which was all my work, is really his
own child. This wa enough. LIE jeu etai,
fait. He was never happy until we had both
signed it.
Bismarck-He is a grand imbecile. But
in your hands, cher S%chouvaof, all diplo-
mates Anglais are imbeciles.
Schouvalof-Immense imbeciles. They
do not know how to lie.
Schouvalof-Cest vari. It is extraodi.
nara, but they always tell the truth.
Observation-Disclosures who always tell
the truth! Colt in Himmel! Such diplo.
mates do make me sick.
Schouvaloff-One word about business,
The Congress, of course, is all betise.
Observation-Disclosures. You will pre-.
tend to make great concessions about Bulpa.
ria and the Balkan frontier,-concessions
which, between you and I, could not in any
case have been helped; and you will re.
ceive in return Sophia, Beaserabia, Batoum
You will also be allowed to keep your troop.
in Turkish territory for a whole year: f,
great deal, l need not say, may happen ir
twelve months. The congress will furthe,
leave the question of the indemnity to BIZ
paid you by the Sultan to be settled hereaf.
ter between you and Turkey, This l need
hardly tell a man..like you, mon cher Comte
will always give you an excuse for insisting
on prescribing new remedies to the sick men
While the question Of the Anglo. protector
ate of Armenia, with which we have delu
ded ce pauvre B%eaconsfeld, We will adiour,
10 the Greek Kaleuds. C'est tout, I think
S~chouvaloff- And how will YOU kee,
Milford Beaconsfeld quiet.
bismarck have a Chinese gong in my
country-house at S~choenhausen, Comte
that reminds me much of Milford Beacons
field. 1t sounds very loud, but there i.
nothing in it. I will give Milford Bcacons
field the sound, but not the substance. H,
likes the first, but he is too ignorant of Il
grande politique to understand the second
| will pay him every outward Difference.
will, In words, give way to him in every.
thing; but. in facts. hard facts, l will Civ
him next to nothing. I will keep dinnin,
into his ear that England has achieved
magnificent success. I will tell him tina
she has made Bulgaria end at the foot Q
the Barkan line; that she has restored t
Turkey the Egean Sea; and that she ha
IcOvornS Concfontiuap1o ~, thn D.,I,>.. 4,