Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1878-02-28

The sun is the oldest and best tan
ner.
Joining the Shakers-Getting the
ague.
A post mortem-Opening a dead
letter.
Every dog has its day, but every
cat its nights.
The lion is the king of beasts, but
the COW is the bos,
In Iowa a good dancer is said to
"throw hefty SOCK"
Jones finds drinking like a fish
makes his head swim.
Never nse a gold snuff-box. Gold
Is not to be sneezed at.
A novel may be very old, but yet
what is old cannot be novel.
You can detect . counterfeit coin
by putting it in water. II it swims it's
bad.
1t used to be thought that the glory
of woman is her hair, but we'll be
switched il it is now.
The less a man knows the higher
he tries to climb on other peoples
ladders.
"Yes," said the old topper, Il always
recognize water when see tit looks
just like gin.'
Necessity is the mother OF inven.
tion." "Only for that" says Pat,
shed be poor orfin. shurel"
An Irish paper advertises, @wanted
an able bodied man as washerwoman."
The young man who flew into a
passion has had his wings clipped.
We were asked, In q long commun-
ication. IF tight lacing is injurious"
or corset is.
There is a town In Illinois where,
no matter what happens, it will be
Joliet.
There Is only one way for woman
to keep secret. That Is to keep it
agoing.
Where everlasting springs may be
found? In an india rubber factory.
A man never knows how many
friends he has until be embarks In the
saloon business and sets a free lunch
A Kentucky telegraph operator is
sued for breach OF promise. He must
have been confidence operator.
A paper says Of a very prominent
militia general that ~his sword was
never drawn but once and then in a
raffie."
1t is suggested that the name of the
Charter Oak Life Insurance Company
ought to be changed to the slippery
Elm.
In New Jersey. when they want to
praise a man, they say, He has such
a mean looking face that fly would
not light on it.
In the picture gallery. Young girl
Say, mamma. when shall we come
to another OF those pictures where /
must shut my eyes?"
Tramps are very fond OF flowers.
and may be found peeping into yards,
inquiring IL the proprietor has ane-
none for poor blind cripple.
1t was Hinsdale, N. H., lady who,
when speaking Of dogs. got the diff
ferent species mixed, and said hers
was rattan" dog.
when ! die," said married man,
1 want to go where there Is no snow
to shovel" His wife said she pre-
sumed he would.
A negro boy In Brooklyn got away
with ten pounds OF food at single
meal, and wept because he was fod-
derless orphan.
Philosophy is a good thing. Phil
Osophy gives "a man cheek enough to
pay one cent for a newspaper, and five
cents for poor cigar.
"The Cir -assians are at their old
trade OF selling their daughters again.
That's very common among parents
In this country also.
Some parents raise children on the
same plan they would a tree, evident
ly thinking that the more they are
sprouted the better they'll grow.
The young lady who said kissing
was like a sewing machine, because 1t
seemed so good, evidently alluded to
a sewing machine with feller.
Never catch me marrying a re-
formed mani" said wise little Chi
cago girl: "when get married 1t will
be to some man who dosn't need
reforming.
loft In the Silly night was the
sentiment expressed by Smiths boy,
after parteking freely Of boiled cab
bage and cucumbers.
The lays Of nightingale may be
very delightful to well-fed man, but
the "lays" Of hen are liked better
by hungry man.
Why is man who spoils his chill
dren like another who builds castles
In the air? Because he INDUCES in
fancy Qnfancy) too much.
The idea OF teaching every girl to
thump piano and every boy to be a
book-keeper. will make potatoes worth