The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1878-10-31
The Story Of Some Girls.

Girls, it has long been suspected by
deep-thinking people, are somewhat
too numerOus-prObably ia great
many more WAYS than one Whether
there is anything in the American eli
mate, or whether it is the reckless free
dom of the American constitution. or
whether 1t is something else the phi
lOSOpheTS have never even hinted, hut il
must be apparent to anyone who reads
the newspapers that the supply of girls
is considerably in excess of the demand.
So completely is this the case that one
man never has any trouble in going
about the country marrying girl here
and another there and still another
somewhere else, until unthinking peO-
pie would suppose there would be no
girls left after four or five daring kind
of men like this had made their rounds
But that doesn't seem to thin them
out, and in spite of the fact that Il man
i'll New York had dozen or so wives
revolving around him at once the other
day, there are still any number of girls
on hand all over the country, in assOrt-
Ell sizes, varieties and ages.
This truthful story, however. is about
some particular girls that Mr. ErastuS
Bailey Ofsomewhere out in Michigan,
ftiit vT hand. Inerc were sIA Of A.
Bailey'S girls, all daughters, and all
willing to be married, as the old gen
tleman was willing they should be.
He had put them ON the matrimonial
market i'll one sweet bunch, utterly re-
gardlesS of expense in the way Of curl
papers, store friZZeS, hOOkS-and-eveS
and hair-pins; they were displayed be
fore young men and middle-aged men
on all kinds of occasions, but none of
Mr.. Bailey's six daughters fished for a
husband with any kind of luck; not
one of them made catch. Other mems
daughters went off like hot cakes, it
seemed to Bailey, although neither he
nor his girls could see any reason WHY
men should be SO miserably stupid.
Bailey'S girls were everywhere, and vet
no man ever went where they were:
they were offered free of cost to any
body why would take them off the old
mans hands, but nobody seemed to
want cheap girls with red hair and pug
noses. 1t will probably never be found
out how the idea came to strike Mr..
Bailey, but he finally resolved to with
draw his girls from the market, and
give notice that not one of them would
listen to any kind of an offer of mar
rlage. Only philosophers will know
why he settled upon such a remarka-
bic course as this, but he was himself a
philosopher. Mr.. Bailey consulted
with his six red-headed girls and then
went down town and told everybody
that he had put stop to all fOOling
around his daughters; that he had
locked them up, and would stay at
home with club to keep the boys off
if less determined measures failed
The effect was immediate and trench
dOus. In two days some of the boys
began to watch when the old man left
the house, and then they slid in to see
his pug-nOSed daughters, but they al
ways Slid out few minutes before pa
came home. When Mr.. Bailey was
told Of these things he put a paddock
on the gate, and the boys jumped over
the fence, rather liking the romance Of
the thing. In two weeks one the girls
lowered herself from a second story
window, ran off with one of the bows.
Old Mr.. Bailey tore around in Il dread
full way before the public, put some iron
bars across the windows to prevent the
escape of any more girls, and cOngratn- !
lated himself on his cuteneSS. In an
other ten DAYS the second girl had got /
off i'll some manner utterly inexplicable I,
and came back with husband, and Il
third settled herself for better or worse |
with a bank cashier only little while |
further on.
This is all the matrimOny that had /
occurred in that family at last adyices, |
but the old gentleman is waiting with |
abundant hope that the other girls will |
glide nOiseleSsly out through the cellar |
OF fly out the chimney and climb the |
fence and get married. With three |
girls on his hands still he has bought |
4 shot gun and chained an unusually /
ferOciOus dog i'm the back ward and put I
an extra bolt on the back door lie /
gives a regular warning of these things /
all over town every day-and hopes 1
for the worst. Ii will certainly be re- /
allied. for everybody knows. as we'll a. 4
Mr.. Bailey, that when yOu lock up !
there are always lots of /.
people waiting for a good chance To !
break in and carry it off; and this al /
WAYS works the more So with a girl
than anything else. \ man who 4
wouldn't steal your purse doesn't have .
8ny scruples about carrying of your F.
girl. There is probably no moral to /
this story, but it is al enduring lesson .
to all fathers; lock up your daughters. /
-PhjI0. Times.