The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1878-11-02

BAscoM APPLIES NAsBY's FINANCIAL system,
AND THE LEADING CITIZENS OF THE CORNERS
co THIRSTY.

co THIRSTY.
CoSFEDRIT Y RoADs,
(Wich is in the State NV Kentucky, 7
October 10, 1878.
The October elecshuns aint cz satisfactory
ez they mite hev bin, but they will do. We
hev lost Ohio and Iowa, but we hev gobblcd
mieany and West Virginny. The CRATE coz
OF finanshel salvashen hez not ez yit passed
into triumph, but it hczn't bin killed,
wich is some comfort. There is Wit room for
hope. Wheat hez come own five cents Il
bushel in cousekence of the dismal prospeclk
that therwon't be no European war. and
encourages us. The people neverdid ascribe
the low price Ufprodoose to anything but the
party in power, and This drop eff it protiden-
shelly continues, will make votes for u.s.
The price of prodoose controls great deel
more than any one hczany dee NV. hev
knowd providenshcl potato rot, to elect
Democratic member NV Congris.
Isaker Gavitt Is CROWN daily more
gloomy ez the prospeX NV q gineral Euro
pean war diminishes.
" It's crooel," scz he, with tear in each
eye' "No war in Europe, and I've got ten
hogs with wanted high price fnr This
world is full of disappontnents. don't
suppose pork on foot will be wuth more
than three cents pound, Wat do them
European cabinets niean?"
But this is a diversion.
| supposed that when we he'd isho5d our
fiat money that our troubles wuz over.
supposed that when the Common Council
of the Corners had ishood currency based
upon the good faith NV the Corners. and
had passed an ordinance maxim it legle
tender that everything would 60 along
smoothly, and that the ira NV prosperity
wich we hev all been lookin' for would i'm
meJitly set in. But it don't work. We he'd
expected to be relieved NV our indebtednis
to Pollock ,S Bigler, but unfortunitlv them
disturbers, with fUresite that is feendish,
hev persistehly reIUused the Dimocrisy NV
the Corners credit for many yCers, so that
we don't owe them anything. And Pollock
remarked vishusly that ef we did owe him
anything he wood ez soon take pay in fat
money ez anything else he wuz likely to git
irom us, ez he never expected anything any
how.
But VIC iecidid to git even with him.
went into his store and asked for pare NV
boots.
"All rite," scd Pollock, "what kind NV
money do yco perpose to pay in?-the gor-
ious fiat NV the present or the despised
greenbaek Nv the past?'
"Sir!' ] remarkt impressively, az am
too patriotic not to assist in gittin our hew
money into crkelashun. l shall pay in fat,
of which | hev plenty, and more comm"
All rite, sed Pollock, perdoosn little
strip of leather, " Them is the boots"
But they is not boots" | exclaimed,
"What kin | do with that strip of leather ?"
"Jist as much cz kin with yoor money.
You say that piece NV paper you hev is
money! say that piece of leather is boots
My word is, trust, ez good ez yoors."
And with itendish laff he told Joe Big
Ter to keep an eye on me and turned around
seilin substahshiel boots 10 tigger farmer
which hed Nashnel bank notes.
Sadly | went over to Bascoms, and found
there the entire Corners discussin the finan-
shel styouasheh. There was Deekin Pog-
ram in his old iamilyer chair, there wus Is
saker lyin on his back on a round table
that the citizens play keerds upon when it is
aroused,and Captain McPelter leanin against
the bar, all sighin at the scarsity NV money
and the deprest condishuh NV industry. 1t
wuz site | hev seed a thousand times and
1t meltid me. | determined to demonstrate
that there wuz one patriot that wood respeck
the laws NV his native place, and accept her
currency.
"Gentlemeh," l seq, firmly, "stcp up.
Bascom, set 'em up?"
Bascom he'd ben takih our money for some
days and he'd bin to Louisville for likker.
He got out the bottle with a sardonic grin
that boded lis no good. We each poured out
the likker, however, and placed the glasses
to our respective lips. Immeiitly every man
spitted the likwid out upon the floor.
turned sick, for he'd uncawshusly swaller-
ed q little NV it..
years!
"Whqt does this mean, sir?" l demanded
feercely.
"Don't you like the whiskpv ?" wuz his
anser, ez he glared ftercely at me.
Like it! Like it Why, its water"
Bless yoor sole" replied Bascom, " why
don't yoo say its whiskey? The mint VOC
say it's whiskey its whiskey, You say the
paper yoo want to pay me in is dollar, list
becoz 700 say it is a dollar, and why in
bloody thunder can't yoo make whiskey out
NV water by jest sayin it's whiskey Gentle
tlemen, this is fiat whiskcy and it's the only
kind kin git with fiat money. When YOU
git to payih in the comfortable old green
back or the modest nickle, all rite. III give
yoo the regler old bowel-scorcher. But the
likker Is Guin to assmilate to the money. |
learned that word in Louisville. Ef VOC
want to pay'in fiat money you are goin to
git fiat likker Eff you kin imagine piece
OF paper with your STAINS onto it is a dollar,
you must likewise imagine this hooid TO be
good likker, and vice versy. Parson, this is
all you will ever git with your kind NV
And he leaned back agin his bottles with
a defiant air and We sank back terrified.
Where is the end to be2 don't know.
Oh that Butler would carry Massachusetts,,
and git into power go that his genius Good
solve this problem. Ef Bascom repddiates
the fiat money it Is all over here. PETRo-
" L l.