davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-04-12

forthwith sung to the machine.
Now said Mr. Edison, preparing
to set the cylinder in motion, you
will, think, distinctly hear both
parts Instantly the duet began
and continued perfectly through
two verses and the chorus. Some
times, you know said the inventor
with a merry laugh. rude people
will talk at concerts; suppose we
see If we can produce that effect.
Reversing the cylinder, he then
poured into the mouthpieees q string
of meaningless sentences and ejacu-
lations, occasionallY interpolating q
shrill whistle and q cat call. The
effect when the phonograph again
began to operate was droll and won
derful beyond conception. The
strains of the duet came forth clear
and harmoniously but it was as IL a
riot had broken out In q concert
room.
Can you,' asked the reporter,
looking perfectly aghast at the i'm
perturbable originator of such q con-
trivance, can you account for-for
that, too?'
Oh said Mr.. Edison, with a
laugh, it's very simple; mark well
the vortex of that unprecedented
elimination, when shall mortal kan
decline amid the-but never
mind, let's go to lunch So saying,
the hospitable inventor led the way
to q comfortable feast, and patted
the head of bright little three year
old boy who called him papa with
genuine affection that showed,
though the most remarkable inven-
tor of the age, he is by no means
dead to the less exciting episodes
and habits of q domestic world.
Indeed, this is shown by the COM
Portable brown painted country
house that stands q few rods from
his laboratory or workshop, and be-
Yond which two houses his inclina-
tons, it is said, never lead him.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-04-12
IadOraemenr..

The following old authors should
be profitable to any who are inclin-
ed to indorse the notes of their
friends:
Beware of suretyship for thy best
friend. He that payeth another
mans debt seeketh his own decay.
But If thou can'st not otherwise
choose, rather lend thy money thy
self upon good bonds. although thou
borrow it; so shalt thou secure thy
self and pleasure thy fF1end.-Lord
Burleigh.
If any man desire thee to be his
surety, give him part of what thou
hast to spare If he press thee fur
ther, he fs not thy friend ct all, for
friendship rather chooseth harm te
itself than offereth IL. II thou be
bound for stranger thou art . fool
If for q merchant, thou puttest thy
estate to learn tesWim.-Sir WalteI
Raleigh.
Such as are betrayed by their easy
nature to be ordinary security fol-
their friends leave 90 little for them.
selves, IS their liberty remains evel
after arbitrary st the will Of others
experience having recorded many,
whom their fathers had left elbow
room enough, that by snretyshiH
have expired in dungeons.
Osborn.
Be thou not one of them thai
strike hands, or Of them that ere
sureties for debts. he that is sure
~ for . stranger shai. smart for ie,
aud he that i safet7ship is sare.
Bible.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-04-12

Bertha Won Hillern now wears
white kid gloves while walking.
There are now seventy-two post
mistresses in the United States.
Unrequited love sent 243 persons
to madhouses in England last year.
1t ia not true that PRINCETON stu
dents scalp the Freshmen they kill.
Edison has Invented a swallow-
tail coat that can also be used as q
boo iack.-Graphic.
Three enterprisfng Assumption
Ga men have killed $500 alliga-
tors the past year, and sold the
hides for seYenty-fiVe cents apiece.
sis it possible to fly ?"-Exchange.
If her father wears a No. IL boot,
it is not only possible hut impera-
lively necessary.-Donbury News
How it does take the cOnceit out
of Chicago man to learn that the
Chinese have just got through cele-
brsting their three hundred and six
tieth centennial.
Omaha has noticed that when her
river is muddy her milk and beer
are the same, and she calls it Curl
Gus dispensation of Providence.
Mrs. Cady Stanton, though TWEEN
ty-four years of age, rode sixtY-two
miles in buggy to lecture in St.
Charles, Minnesota. Come TO think
of it the figures are mixed.
Teacher with reading class: Boy
(reading)--''And as she sailed down
the river" Tescher-"Why are
ships called she?" Boy-"Becsuse
they need men to manage them"
For the sum of five dollars, cash
in hand, most any New England
father will sign his name to a certi-
ficste beginning "My daughter snf-
fered with diseased scalp for four
teen years, and obtained no relief
until" etc.
The Queen of England has pre-
BE fer being the mother of three
daughters at a birth. Victoria is
hereby rendered the free use of
these columns to explain whether
she wishes to be understood as en-
cou-sging that sort of thing
cester Press.
1t was about this time of the
year that Eve made the remark
which has been handed down
through so many generations "We
can never be any body if we don't
go to some wateriDg-place, and You
know it, Adam; yet you have the
audacity to sit there and talk of the
hard times"
The short walking dress for la
dies is rapidly coming into use.
Aside from giving It's possessOr an
opportunity to show pretty foot
without q show of it, this sensible
fashion has two other advantages.
1t gives ladies the full use of bath
hands while walking, and enables
them to go home with decently
clean underskirts- two comforts
that a good many of them have not
enjoyed for several years past.
Mr.. Basingbal (city merchanO-
"Most convenient ! 1 can converse
with Mrs. B. just as if was in my
own drawing room. I'll tell her
you are here. (Speaks through the
telephone-) "Dawdles is here-just
come from Paris-looking so well
desires to be-" etc., etc. "Now,
you take it, and you'll hear her
voice distinctly" DawdIes-"Weal
lyP (Dawdles takes it, The voice
"For goodness sake, dear, done
bring that insufferable noodle home
to dinner !"
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-04-12
EmpOrIaa Esusiness Statistics.

EmPOria ssuSiReSs sta aESEIcs.
Emporia is Well supplied with most all
lines of business establishments, and
abundantiy with all kinds of professional
men. The following are the nam lines
of business houses:
Two National and one savings bank,
and one mutual loan ASSOCIATION.
Five dry goods storss, one of which
WHOLESALERS largely.
Twelve grocery stores, and one whole
sale grocery store.
Three hardware and agricultural i'm
plement stores, and one general agent OF
agricultural implements.
Three stove and tin ware stores.
Four clothing stores, and three tailor
shops.
Two book and stationery stores.
Two music stores.
Two jewelry stores, and two watch re-
pairers.
Four boot and shoe stores, two boot and
shoe factories, without machinery, and
six cobblers' shops.
Five barber shops. and one hair drrsser.
Four drug stores.
Two furniture stores and one furniture
factory.
Two queensware stores.
Six millinery stores.
Three harEess stores aud shops.
One wholesale lIqu or store.
Four meat markets.
Three dentists offices.
Two bakeries, three restaurants, eight
hotels, and six boarding houses
Two public halls, and one city library.
Two photograph galleries.
Two marble shops.
Two brick yards.
One express office.
One foundry and machine shop.
Two coal and wood yards.
One gun shop. six blacksmith shops,
one Woodworking factory, and two broom
factories.
Five livery stables.
Two wagon and carriage factories.
Two grist mills, and one saw mill.
Three newspapers (weekly), one real
estate, and one educational paper.
Three job printing offices.
One Normal school, building costing
SO,OOO), three city public school houses,
employing ten teachers and superintend.
emit, nine church buildings and twelve
church organizations, one ODD Fellows
lodge, one encampment, one Masonic
lodge, chapter, commandery. and eastern
star, one lodge Ancient Order United
Workmen, lodge Knights of Honor, one
lodge Knights of Pythias, one grange
and head quarters OF State grange, P. B.
Maxson, See.
Twelve physicians, (two homeopathy,
one oculist, eighteen lawyers, five real
estate agencies, ur grain dealers, one
hide and fur dealer, eight carpenter shops,
one sign painter. six house painters, three
carriage painters and trimmers, Large
supply of carpenters, masons, plasterers,
sc.
One general land office of NJ. K. & T.
railroad, two railroads and depots, and
grading done on third railroad.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-04-12

Drought is the dreadful drawn back
to Australian life. II Is the terror
of the squatter. The New South
Wales Agriculturist, under date OF
January 26, mentions how seriously
it impairs railroad extension. For
age for horses can only be obtained
at prices so ruinous that contractors
will not proceed with work the
completion of which would mean
ruin. "On the CastIeraegh and the
upper Darling the W ork of destruc-
ton by drought is almost compile
ted. Hot winds have set in; herb
age is consumed; the richly erased
plains are now merely level tables
of dusty soil, over which scorching
gusts travel necessarily, while a
hardened sky looks uurelentingly
down on decimated herds and f1ocks
of half-dead wiIhered sheep" Al
such times the settler begins to think
that the moist climate of his native
Britain was not 80 bad after all.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-04-12

lie that waits for repentance waits
for that which cannot be had as
long as it is waited for, 1t is alb
surd for a man to wait for that
which he himself has to do.-Nevins.
There cannot live q more unhappy
creature than an ill-nstured old
man, who is neither capable of re-
ceiviDg pleasures nor sensible of do
ing them to others.-Sir w. Temple.
In youth grief comes with a rush
and overflow, but il dries up, too.
like the torrent. In the winter of
life it remains q miserable pool, re-
sisting all evaporation.
1t IS a great misfortune to haYe 8
fretful disposition. 1t takes the
fragrance out of ones life, and
leaves only weeds where q cheerful
disposition would cause flowers TO
bloom. The habit of fretting is one
that grows rapidly unless it be stern
ly repressed the best way is to look
on the cheerful side of things.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-04-12

Albert Griffin has instituted a new
temperance order. It is called the
Temperance Volunteers of Kansas, is
said to contain the favorable features
of all other temperance organizations,
and TO be free from the objections often
urged against them. The local organ
Izafions are called phalauxes. Pioneer
Phslanx No. was instituted in Nam
haitian last Monday night.
.The longest pole knocks the per-
simmons" cEnclxles the Usage City
Free Press, when announcing 5.204
votes for Ossge City for county seat, q
mejority of / ,457 over all competitors.
The number of votes polied was nearly
s, o00 According to the report of the
state Board of Agriculture 0sage
county had population of 1881 ID
1876 L must have gained popula-
ton Of about q 900 since then.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-04-12

Alex Stephens, of Georgia, has
introduced into the House q bill to
simply authorize, not require, the
adoption of a modified metric, or
decimal, system of weights and
measures. 1t proposes the follow
ing tables:
Measures of Lengths-One humid
red hairs make nail, 100 nails make
q meter, LOO meters make kile.
Measures OF surface = 10000
square meters make great acre.
Measures of bulk and capacity
100 drops make spoon, 100 spoons
make quart 100 quarts make q
cask.
Measures of weight-100 seeds
make 8 corn, 100 corns make 8 nut,
100 Huts make q bipound, or bip,
LOCO bips make ton.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-04-12
VEGETTNE
chIlis. shakes,
FEVER .aND .GGU E.
FAHBORO, n. C., 1878.

TARBoRo, N. c., 1873.
DR. H. r. SFEvEEs-
Dear Sir-I feel very grateful for what your
valuable medicine, Vegetine, has done in my
family. wish to express my thanks by in
forming you of the wonderful cure of my sons
also, to let you know that Vegetine Is the best
medicine ever saw for ChiAs, Shakes. Fever
and Ague. Ny son was sick with measles in
1873. which left him with kfD-joint disease
My SON suffered q great deal of pain, ali OF
the time; the pain was SO great he did moth
ing but cry. The doctors did not help him
particle, he could not lit his loot frOm the
noor, he could not move without crutches.
read your advertisement in the Louisville
Courier Journal that Vegetine was great
Blood Purifier and Blood Food. tried one
on with the medicine, gradually gaining he
has taken eighteen bottles in all, and he Is
completely rettored to health. walks without
crutches or cane. He is twenty years OF age.
have younger son, fifteen years Of age,
who is subject TO chilIs. Whenever he feels
one coming on, he comes in, takes 3 dose OF
Vegetine and that is the last of the chill
Vegetine leaves no bad effect upSn the sys-
tenn like most OF the medicines recon mend
ed for chf1is. cheerfuliY recommend We're.
tine for such complaints. think it Is the
greatest medicine in the world.
Respectfully, MRS. j. w. LLOYD.
YEGRTIHE.-When the blood becomes Hfe-
less and ssagnant. either from change of
weather or of climate, want Of exercise, ir-
regular diet or from any other cause, the
Vegetine will renew the blood, carry on the
putrid humors, cleanse the stomach, regulate
the bowels, and impart a tone of vigor 70 the
whole body.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-04-12
sPECImEN swINDLEs.


ADOA = D0J u O1A
From time to time we hear of the
grossest swindles being practiced on
innocent people in selling bluff lands
in Kansas. Frequently people have
arrived here from some eastern State,
hired team to go out and see lands
they had probably been paying taxes
on for years, bought of some peregri-
mating Kansas fraud, or eastern sharp
er, and after seeing the land took the
next train for the east, utterly disgust
ed, realizing that they had been "taken
in" We are little surprised that any
body would buy land before seeing it
and ascertaining Just what 1t is. There
are plenty of good honest people who
will tell him, Ii he has not the money
to spare for trip ont. We have al
ways advised people not to buy foot
of property in Kansas, or ia fact any
where else, without seeing it. What
would suit a half dozen other men in
succession, might not suit you at all.
On this subject we have a letter
from our friend c. II. Wilmington, who
has been in Lyon county oyer twenty
five years, and knows every acre.Of its
surface better than any other man in
it. Mr.. Wilmington, as usual, express
es himself to the point, and gives sew
eral cases of the most barefaced swind-
ling that have taken place under his
observation
"I am glad to hear that you are go
ing into the land Office business. There
is a good deal of land in the north part
of this county, owned by eastern
people.
1 receive a great many letters inquir-
ing about their lands. Some of them
have got badly swiHdled by buying
land they never saw. will give you
a sample or two. Some parties came
here from Cleveland, Ohio, last fall,
and bought railroad land at 81. 90 per
acre. They then sold the land to par
ties In Cleveland for $40 90 per acre,
part down, balance on time. Three or
four of the parties that purchased said
lands came on with the intention OF
settling, but when they found the lands
were high gravelly ridges, they were
sorely disappointed, and returned, ours
ing Kansas and the man who sold them
the land. One of my neighbOrs paid
81 500 for 800 acres of raw prairie, sit
uated on the divide between this and
Elm creek, before seeing it. It took
all he had to pay for the land, except
the team that brought his family here.
When he saw the land it was not as
recommended to be. He also found
that railroad land adjoining could be
bought for 81 per acre. He went to
work, put up q small house, and is
now renting land of his neighbors on
shares to support his family. l had a
letter the other day from q man in Vir-
ginia, asking me If would accept the
agency of his land, and keep people
from destroying his timber. The truth
is there is not a stick of timber within
one mile of his land. What / wanted
to say to you was this-come out
STRONG in your paper against people
buying land with the intention of set
ling on it, before they see it,"
We have but one thing to aid, and
that is that people ought not to curse
Kan sas because they foolishly permit
themselves to be swindled. They can
not go amiss for good land and good
bargains, and there is no use in being
swindled at all, If a little judgment is
used.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-04-12
The Poor Gentleman.

There are more young American
men in the penitentiaries in this
country learning trades than there
are outside of them. The principal
cause of this is that we are educat-
ing our young men for gentlemen
trying to make lawyers, breaches,
doctors and clerks out of material
that nature intended for black
smiths, brlcklayers, carpenters, tail
ors and other honest "heWers of
wood and drawers of water" It's
8 mistake, and q big one, to teach
boys and girls to believe that to la
Dor is disgraceful, and to do nothing
for q living lie more becoming the
society in which they expect to
move and be respected. Hang such
society! 1t lie rotten to the core to-
day, and there are many mems sons
and daughters who are now being
educated to play the parts of "lead-
ing lady" and "Walking gentleman
in the great drama of life who will
come to q poorhouse or q peniten-
tiary before they have played their
parts and the curtain drops. Go to
work.-LouisYille CourierJourRal
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-04-12
Tine Colorado Cattle Men
Complain.

At the meeting of the Southern
Colorado Cattle Growers Associs-
ton, last month, the President, DR..
John McCaskill, animadverted Sc
verely on the treatment of cattle
shippers by the railroads and stock
yard keepers. The following is an
extract from the Pueblo Chieftain's
report of his remarks:
Cattle had sometimes been kept
twice as long as necessary enroute
numerous where they had been al
lowed to stand five hours on the
side track before unloading. Re-
quests that the cars be sent to the
yards had been met with insolence,
conductors had refused TO stop
trains when cattle got down in the
cars, and stock men had been COM
PEELED to ride in common freight
cars instead of in the caboose. He
also alluded to the outrageous
charges for yardage and feed at
Kansas City. He said if the stock
growers of Colorado put their
heads together they could procure
land in the vicinity OF Kansas City
and build yards of their own, where
the cattle would not be compelled
to wade belly deep in the mud, and
it would be good speculation in
more ways than one, and besides
enable the owners of Colorado cat
tie to protect them against the dan
ger of catching the Texas fever,
which sometimes happen from
yarding them where Texas cattle
had recently been yarded. He ar
gued strongly In favor of the stock
men cutting out their beef cattle at
the spring round-ups and driving
them to some point In Western
Kansas before shipping. Especially
if the railroads did not accord bet
ter terms aud more decent treat
ment to the cattle shippers. His re-
marks in this regard and concerning
the stock yard business were warm
ly applauded, and appeared to be
unanimously endorsed by the meet
ing.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-04-12
CITppTnxs.

The Phila. Record says the head
on the diverse side of the new coin
resem bles Lydia Thompson's. The
disappointment of the Congress-
men probably is that the design
stops with the head.-Wabash Re
publican.
Remember, DIR. Mary Walker,
that the woman who would lift her
hand against man save In the way
of kindness, is wretch whom il
were base f1atterY to call a police.
man.-Utica Observer.
The bowling in a Washington
street house few evenings since
was not owing 10 the de lection of q
burglar, as many of the neighbors
supposed, but resulted from an ex
pedition after pie, pushed by the
head of the family in a cupboard
W here his wife had set a trap &c
catch rats.-Rome Sentinel.
In a restaurant. A gentlemen
and a scrub are seated at the same
table. The scrub is Just flushing
his dinner, the gentleman just be-
ginning his. The ecrub lights q CT
R6E duNL UtO VIZ " CiOQu OF SIuOke
over his coffee. The gentleman RI
ses, and says in the politest tone
excuse me, sir; will it annoy you
if eat while you are smoking ?"-
| New York Tribune.
eff England goes to war;" said an
eloquent man in Delp's barber shop
Yesterday, "our grain exports will
be quadrup!ed-qu anrupIed, sir;
golden stream of wealth will
food our Golfers, and" Here he
glanced into a" opposite mirror and
rec,gaized the features of a man to
whom be lad been owing 50 % for
eighteen months.
"What is your chief consolatson
in life 2" asked pastor of a young
lady in Bible class. The young
lady blushed and hesits ted, bui
said, 81 don't like to tell his name,
but have no objection to telling
where he lives"
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-04-12

REsUMPTIoN.-A report has been
submitted by the House Committee
on Banking and Currency by the
sub committee, consisting of Messrs.
Chittenden and Ewing, who recent
ly visited New York city for the
purpose of ascertaining the present
condition of the Sub-TFeasury in
that city with regard to the amount
of gold held there belonging to the
United States Government and to
others, end with a view of confer
ring with other financial gentlemen
regarding the practicability of the
proposed resumption of specie pay
ments on January next. The fol-
lowing are the substantial points of
the report:
"The bankers were OF the opinion
that resumption at the earliest prac-
ticable moment was not only con-
sistent with the public welfare, but
was of the greatest importance to
the best prosperity of the country ;
also that resumption on the let of
January, 1879, might be made prac-
ticable and safe, If adequate meas
ures should be adopted, but all who
expressed themselves ods this sub
iect were agreed that the plans of
the Secretary of the Treasury were
inadequate, and that if he should
make an attempt to resume on the
Ist of January, under such circum-
stances as were likely to exist at
that time, the attempt would most
probably fail. They were of the
opinion, also, that the remonetiza-
ton of silver had seriously interior
ed with the probabilities of resump-
ton at the time fixed.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-04-12

The housekeepe giVeth cheerful hop,
And VIC hear the musical flippety flop
OF the mostly, misty, madftening mop
And 10, the maddening horrors rush
Athwart eur souls at the soapy gush
OF the slippery, Shiny scrubb.ng brush.
From carly morn to evening gloom
We hear the scratching In ball and room
OF the boisterouS, busily- bobbing broom.
And now there cometh woeful wall
That augurs q centrally gusty gale
From u man with his leg IN scfubbing pal