The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-05-23
WAITS AND WHIMS.
BEWARE of brandy at five dollars

| SdilOu.
| AZURE way of being miserable is Il
feel blue.
A MAN may make his in visible ant
yet see it.
BEWARE of cigars that are bought o.
a "bold smuggler."
BEWARE of man who travels with {
pair of dueling pistols.
A PRUssIAN officer was recently los
in the crater of Vesuvius.
FIFTY-FoUR railroad companies failed
in the United States last year.
Mr.. DARWIN holds that heavens best
boon to mankind is the baboon.
Ira man has short neck he ought
not to wear standing collar.
/ WHAT'S always in the midst of doubt
and trouble? Why U of course.
BEWARE of a lodging house where
you are treated as one of the family" !"
TROUSERS are worn rather loose, and
cashmere checks seem to be the correct
thing.
THE fellow who returned the compli-
ment was never known to send back any
thing else.
TRYING to admire that which you do
not like accumulates failure and exhib-
its weakness.
BEWARE of a young lady who calls
you by your Christian name the first
time she meets you.
WOMEN are showing good sense in
wearing dresses in the street that do not
require to be held up.
MUTToN-CHoP whiskers are going out
of fashion. Either shave entirely or let
your whole beard grow.
EVERY man coming to an obscure old
age thinks he would have achieved
wealth and distinction if
"YEs," said man, as he bent his ell
bow to raise the twentieth glass of beer,
it is overwork that kills."
BEWARE of wife who talks about
her dear husband" I" and "that beau
tiful shawl" in her sleep.
JUST because a man named Deer was
hanged the other day, an exchange was
moved to say that he died game.
CoLoRED handkerchiefs have gone out
of vogue, but many foreigners still
cling to the serviceable bandanna.
TREES about house may be too dense.
An Italian proverb says that "where
the sun never comes the doctor must"
WoULDsr hear the pun that Hero made,
Embracing on the sand her
Wet lover2 "Sweet Tu-lips" he said,
And she cried, o Leanderl"
The difference between a COW and a
milkman is that the former gives pure
milk. This may be chalked down as a
fact.
A MAN in Somerville, Mass, nailed up
all the outer doors of his house so as not
to be disturbed by visitors while whip
ping his wife.
The fashionable walking coat this
spring is cutaway, buttoned over the
breast. The correct thing is to have
three buttons.
NEVER have your shirts made open at
the back. The fraud is soon discovered,
and they do not set so we'll as the old
fashioned ones.
A PROFESSOR of Bologna claims to
have invented a chemically prepared
bank-rote paper which can not possibly
be counterfeited.
In view of the arrival of the Cimbria
and her cargo of natives of Finland, the
first movement in the Anglo-Russian
war may be the Finnish.
A BILLY-coCK hat has its merits, but,
if you wish to be dressed in the best
style for walking, buy stove pipe, if
you can afford the expense.
If you wish to keep up to the fashion
in the way of boots, buy those which
enable you to walk without hurting
your corns, even if they are large.
CoLoRED shirts will be worn this sum-
mer. If YOU can afford it, have them
made of linen, and not muslin, for mus
lin yields too readily to perspiration.
The enormous increase in the con-
sumption of cigarettes of late, and the
decline in the sale of Havana cigars,
are indications that the times are hard.
WHY shouldst thou fill to-day with sorrow
About tomorrow,
Ny heartI
One watches all with care most true
Doubt not that he will give thee, too,
Thy part
In buying collars take pains, if you
have the money, to get those made en-
tirely of linen. If you are rich the
proper thing to do is to have them on
your shirt,
PEOPLE who are always talking senti-
ment commonly have no very deep feel
ing. The less water you have in your
pot, the sooner does it begin to make
much noise and smoke.
HERE are two pithy sayings from the
Orient: Disgrace is an ill-omened
bird no cage can hold" And again:
Modestv is sweet song-bird no open
cage-door can tempt to flight"
A RHINoCERos started out of Pitts
burg on railroad. track. He saw To-
comotive coming, probably mistook it
for hostile beast, and boldly confronted
it. He was extensively damaged, and
astonished.
IT is to be hoped that Congress will
soon see the propriety of adjourning, to
the end that the telegraphic instruments
needed for the transmission of base ball
news may not be occupied by Washing
ton matters.
THE recently-published report of an
Irish benevolent society contains the
following ambiguous paragraph: Not
withstanding the large amount paid for
medicine and medical attendance, very
few deaths occurred during the year."
A MAN ont West is described as being
so tall that he requires ladder to shave
himself. The same individual never
troubles his wife to sit up for him when
he is out late at night, for he can put his
arm down the chimney and unbolt the
street door.
POETS Corner, Westminster Abbey,
is not quite so much of poets corner
as it is popularity supposed to be. The
remains of Shakespeare, Milton, Shelley,
Byron, Wordsworth, Elizabeth Barrett
Browning, Fletcher, Pope, Gray, Cow
per, Keats, Coleridge, MARVEL, Thorn
son, Collins, Goldsmith, Crabbe, Mrs.
Hemans, Marlowe, Beaumont, Herbert,
William Browne, Chatterton, Hood,
Moore, Southey, Leigh Hunt and Kem-
BILE do not repose there. Burns was
buried at Dumfries and Scott at Dry
burgh Abbey. When one thinks of the