The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1878-06-06
BLOWN Up

4 OF many years Ln6r6 was an luulF-
idUal in Boston who was wel-knoWn
by the name Of Tin Kitchen Willis, and
to explain how this name became at
tached to him is the purpose OF this
brief sketch. Willis was perhaps no
more Of a rogue than many of his neigh
bOrs, but the cloak Of sanctity under
which his operations were conducted
led to deeper elimination whenever any
Of his dishonest tricks we're exposed.
Our hero was a constant attendant
upon all the prayer meetings in the
ne.ghbOrhoOd, and he never failed to
parade his sanctity in and out Of seas
on, exhibiting a phase Of that sort Of
religion which dWells upon the face and
tongue. In short his devOutness was
Of that sort referred to by deacon Fos-
ter, the colOred ''gemman" Of Joy street,
who said the only time he was cheated
in buying sausages, was when the but
cher, a brother church member, pro-
posed to open the bargain by a brief
prayeri
Far be it from US to reflect upon per-
sons who make their convictions a rule
Of action. 1t is those who make a cloak
Of religion who should be held up to
scorn. As a rule a clerical gait and a
professional neckcloth are suspicious,
and it was this very assumption, on the
part Of Tin Kitchen Willis, which made
him especially obnoxious to his dis
cerning neighbOTs. His professions
and his practices were. as. far asunder
as the north and south poles.
Willis had a moderate income from
some source, but no one seemed to
know exactly whence it came. lie
lived with his wife in economical quar-
ters in Curve place, but the couple had
no children. He was a famous faster,
and would sample more goods in a day
than any wholesale merchant in the
city. He would go through Quincy
market, trying the cheese, butter,
apples and fruit of all sorts, until it be-
came a marvel how lis stomach could
hold so much. But the fact was it cost
nothing and formed the chief part Of
his daily diet.
Tin-Kitchen Willis never passed a
peanut stand without stopping and
talking to the veHder, while he de-
vourcd handful Of nuts in the most
careless manner, but he never bought a
cents worth; and so with dates, figs
and raisins in the grocery store. In
short, everything was fish that came
to his net" He was not a subscriber
to any daily newspaper, but somehow
be had them all at home by hook OF by
crook. The fact was, he took very
early morning walk, just after the news
paper carriers had distributed their
lists, but he rarely went twice through
the same streets.
These little amiable peculiarities,
when taken in the aggregate, caused
the sanctimoniOus Mr.. Willis to be re-
garded at last as no better than he
should be, and he became of bad OdOT.
Even by the lOudest psalm singers he
was looked upon askance. His sub
terfuges were too thin.
My dear, said Willis one day to his
wife, ''let us invite your mother and
father to dine"
VERY we'll" said Mrs. W, 4 am
willing. When shall it be?"
Tomorrow, eh?"
"Why not wait until Christmas? that
will only be a week longer"
Good idea, said Willis, "let it be
Christmas Day by all means"
On Christmas Lay, therefore, Willis
invited his wife's parents to come and
dine with them in Curve place, and as
his mOther-in-law1s particular weak
ness was goose, he supplied himself
with a goOd-sized representative of that
species Of fowl, aad make unusual
preparations for a grand, social feast on
the occasion. The old couple lived in
Salem, and came up in due season to
eat a Christmas dinner. AS they kept
no domestic servant, Willis was obliged
to alternate with his wife in entertain
ing their guests, and attending to at
fairs in the kitchen.
This deracted little from the senti-
ment of the occasion, but Willis was in
high spirits, and talked about the inter
est Of the day, its religious and social
ASPECT, and even went 50 far as to quote