The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1878-04-27
WIT AND HUM0R.

has no feet, yet wears shoes ?-Dust.
THE most powerful of all beauty is tina
which reveals itself after sympathy, and no
before.
VANITY is Ill at ease under Indifference a
tenderness is under q love which it canno
return.
A LADY much given to tattle, said sh,
never told anything except to two kinds o.
people-those who asked her, and thos.
who didn't.
A JUDGE sentencing q man to death, OBJ
served =" Prisoner at the bar, you vii
soon have to appear before another and per
haps q better judge"
Is it not astonishing that men, who hay,
the whole world to conquer, will bottle,
their great heads with the tightness of .
woman's skirts.
A paper says the times are so bad, and
payments SO rare, that the girls complain
that the young men cannot even pay thei,
addresses.
A young lady was asked upon her return
from church last Sunday what the text was,
to which she unhesitatingly replied, Blessed
are tne dressmakerB."
Baxter was on one occasion brought be.
fore Judge Jeffries. Richard" said the
brutal Chief-Justice, 81 see o rogue in thy
lace. Il had not known before" replied
Baxter, that my face was a mirror"
When a couple of young folks, writes a
critic, gets SO they want to waltz all the time
at a ball and have no quadrilles, That's q
sign that they arc never going to stop until
some furniture man is made happy.
Get out ornithorhynchusi The man
departed meekly. who's that ?" inquired
a friend of the speaker. San orinithorhyn-
chus." Flows that?" well, Webster
defines him as a beast with a bill"
A gentleman, on walking out one Sunday
evening, met a young peasant girl whose
parents lived near his house. "Where ara
you going, jenny" said he. Hooking
for a son-in-law for my mother" was tho
reply.
An old farmer said to his sons: "Boys
oont you ever spekerlate or wait for suthin'
70 turn up. You might as well 90 and sit
down on a stone in a medder, with a pail
itw1xt your legs, an wait for a COW to como
back to you and be MIXED"
81 say Jones, how is 1t that your wife
dresses SO magnifcently, and you always
tpPear almost out at elbows 49," You see.
thompson, my wife always dresses accord.
ing to lie FoAet, and I dress according to
my ledger"
1t Is said that the Servian officers are SO
deeply impressed with the reports they have
heard Of the Turkish atrocities. that tbev
Always endeavor to reserve one ball in their
eeVoivers, so as to blow their own brains out
Is soon rs they fall into the hands of the
snemy.
" h a traveller you nave become?" ex.
claimed n Bostonian on meeting an acquaint-
ance at Constantinople. "To tell you the
truth" was the frank reply, "Tm Obliged to
run about the world to keep ahead of my
character; for the moment it overtakes me
1 am ruined"
Fred" said a young man, walking up
State street in Chicago, the other day, after
listening to his wonderful story, "do you
know why you are like q harp struck by
ightning?" "No," says Fred; 81 give it
up" Because a harp struck by lightning
is a blasted Tyre"
CURIosrT1Es.-A fence made from the mil
ing Of q scolding wife. A plate of butter
from the cream of a joke. The small coins
in the change of the moon" The original
brush used in painting the signs of the times.
The hammer which broke up the meeting.
A buckle to fasten a laughing-stock. The
animal that drew the inference. An egg
from a nest of thieves. A bucket of water
from "An's Well"
A gentleman dining with a friend one day,
was struck by the earnestness with which
one of the little girls regarded him. He
therefore took her upon his knee, and began
talking with her. please, sir" said she,
presently, "tell me what's in the house next
to yours? I'd like to see it." "TeIl me,
my little girl, why you wish to know"
Because, sir, Iheard mamma say you were
next door to a brute"
She was languishing upon a sofa, watch
ing him affectionately as he skipped briskly
about the room, putting things in order.
Finally she said, in a low, sweet tone of
voice, George, darling, 1 don't believe you
will ever be n great man." Why so, love P"
he asked, wheeling a chair round on one Of
its legs, and gracefully stroking it with tho
buster. Because great men always have
such lazy, good-for-nothing wives"
DassvruPrelv, tIu FRENCH AMBASSADOR 10
Spain, was telling Henry ". how he entered
Madrid. 81 was mounted on the very
smallest mule in the world" said the ambas-
sador. "Ah," said the king, "what an
amusing sight, to see the biggest MSS mount
ed On the smallest mule :" 81 was your
majesty's representative" was the rejoinder.
Apaper tout West" has the following
notice: "All notices of marriage where no
bride-cake is sent will be set up in small tyne.
and poked in an outlandish corner of the pa
per. Where q handsome piece of cake is
sent, the notice will be put conspicuously in
large letters when gloves or other bridal
favors are added, a piece of illustrative poe
try will be given in addition. When. how
ever, the editor attends at the ceremony in
person, and kisses the bride, it will nave
especial notice-very large type, and the
most appropriate poetry that can be begged,
borrowed, or stolen"
A carpenter who was always proenosticat.
ing evil to himself, was one day upon the
roof of a five-story building upon which the
rain had fallen. The roof being slippery,
he lost his footing, and as he was descend
ing towards the caves, he exclaimed, 'sJust
as l told you" Catching, however, on nm
iron spout, he kicked of his shoes, and re-
gained II place of safety, when he thus de-
livered himself: 81 hIow'd il; there's q