West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-03-02
EVERYDAY SPICERIES.

EVERYDAY SPICERIES.
IF the wicked stand in slippery places,
the Fulton Times wants TO know what's
the use of putting ashes ON tho side
walk2
WEST JERSEY Press The fooi seekcth
to pluck n fly from mules hind leg |;
the wise man lettcth the job out TO the
lowest bidder
OMAHA RcpUbHcdn: Does il seem the
correct thing for glcc club to sing un-
der lady's window IA sercnado,
Darling, you are growing oldT'
WORCESTER Press: Truth lies at the
bottom of IA we'll" We have often YER
ificd this by looking down into we'll
and seeing Truths honest countenance
in the smooth water.
BosToN Transcript: The latest and
wickedest ON dit about the clubs is TO the
effect that married lady in this city,
well known in society, but name not
given, has recently fallen in love with
her husband.
BosToN AdUertiser: "Hurrah hur-
rah ~ cried young lawyer who sue
cccded TO his fathers practice. I've
settled that old lawsuit at last" Set
tied itW exclaimed the astonished pa
rent; "why we've supported the family
on that for the last ten years.
EAsToN Fire Press: If there is any
thing that will make the old man think
that sharper's tooth bites worse than n
scrpent's child, it is TO have his daughter
beat him out of dollar 10 frame and
glaze a Welcome Home" and then lay
IL on a parlor chair where he sits down
on 1T in the dark.
Mrs. BROOKS, the butter woman"
is now modelling in Cincinnati full
length figure Of Dickenss March
ioness. - Graphic. She ought TO dress
her in a fulllard, if she is to be n Pork
opolitan. Phiiddelphia Bulletin. Yes,
but she is very prudent woman, Mrs.
Brooks is, not fulI-lard-y. Graphic.
NEW York SIM: A teacher in
Boston school was delighted to see every
child's hand go up in answer TO the
question OF how many had ever heard
of Mr.. Emerson, but her soul sank with
in her when she discovered il was Billy
Emerson the minstrel, whose show bills
had placarded the walls Of the Hub for
several days
BABY's PORTRAIT.
A smooth and shiny head
with tufts Of golden spray
face Of mingled white and red,
With cheeks where dimples play.
Bright eyes that open wide,
The nOsc-a little pug
A mouth where kisses hide,
And twenty pounds 10 hugi
LOUISVILLE COu-icr-,Journ0l: Several
| prominent physicians Of New York de-
| clare that cigarette smoking is very in
! furious. Nothing could be better for
] ta gafy In
| Once let il be thought that there is no
harm in the cigarette, and It's reign
/ would be as ephemeral as that Of the
| late lamented helmet hat.
ONE Of the responsible gentlemen "
WHO were quoted as authority for the
story that n big serpent had been lash
ing river water into foam, and wiping
/ hatboats out Of existence, writes 10 n
/ Louisville paper that he don't want
/ Eny more Letters Published in YOUR
/ Paper concerning the fish stories on me,
some Person has rOte the letter IL signed
my name 10 it," This gentleman uses
capital letters as il the story WAS a
fable.
WHEN a man in a railroad depot
springs skyward with bound that
lOosens the plastering, and makes mo.
tion rs though he was going 20 pull a
revolver aud kill somebody, while he
throws out torrent Of words that leave
taste Of sulphur in his mouth, the
pr0babiiitir are very strong that some
wicked bo, tbIack has picked up tack
and laid DO on the seat point upward
When q woman turns paler than gray
horse, sets her lips like wise, clutche
her dress and arises somewhat precipi
lately, a. she rolls here eyes, and twist
up her face with an expression tha
loosens her back hair, the old man IL
the opposite corner don't have TO b,
told by hi4 wife that the young lady i
thinking the most unutterable thing
! against the originates Of the pinbacl
, that ever found lodgment in the braii
Of mortal being