The Portland daily press., 1878-12-28

|
istic. The poets sing OF it. Pallas Athsne
herself invented the pipe, 1t is said, and one
finds 1t easy to believe that the unaying ones
judged that to be the best gift of the gods TO
men. Stupid commentators have held the
pipe to be musical instrument; bat We
have abundant reason to think that the Oh
iect Of its creation was the promotion OF
piety;-the design being that each man
might have portable altar to carry about
with him and burn incense upon to cloud
compelling Zeus. That Is certainly q more
reasonable Interpretation than the old schol-
ars give. Columbus and his Spaniards only
rediscovered lost art, preserved by the
American Indians In their Arcadian SIM
plicity, but taken from the East because Of
Its wickedness. The Spaniards were so good
men that the forfeited secret OF happiness
was restored to them. Yorick has ocular
proof of the prehistoric origin of the pipe.
He has In his possession Q wooden pipe, evil
IDENTITY dug up by Schliemann in the ruins Of
Mycen@. As to its origin there can be no
doubt. 1t is In the shape Of cows head,
Here Bo5bis, ox-eyed Juno, with head and
horns of different materials a. represented In
the gilt stamp on the back Of Schliemann's
book. It Is the veritable Hera.idol OF the
Argives. The material Of which 1t is fash
ioned need not excite our doubts. The fire
within charred and preserved 1t. We are all
familiar with the process Of charring posts 90
that thew shall last a long time. One won
ders that An owl head, Is Athene invented
the pipe and was presumably its patron, has
not been found. But Yorick has faith to be-
lieve that the German explorer will yet turn
up an Athena glaakopis.
1t were long to sing the praises Of tobacco.
Not many nave tried. But the leisurely
prose-writerSSo 1t justice. Who that ever
read Thacke'ay can forget the prominence he
gives to the pipe and the cigar? One some-
times finds difficulty in seeing the printed
page through the cloud Of smoke he raises,
and SO shuts the volume, and falls TO musing'
Tobacco is indeed difficult word to find o
rhyme for; and II we pronounce 1t tebacker
we are not much better of, for about the beat
We can do is Ego slacker," or ''go track her"
or Ego whack her," none Of which are poeti-
cal. In fact the aforementioned Is unpeasant-
ly suggestive Of the police courts. $50
smack herr is more agreeable, but stiu
coarse. 'No lacquer" will do and gives Q
chance to caution people against the use OF
lacquer jars. Lacquer jars ara good. 1t 10
true, but as long Is we have rhyme we viii
not ask for reason. One might say that
Many are the woods that grow precious In burning,
nd
malaccs;
But to better than those my thoughts am turning.
And will chant the praises of the weed terbacker.
but aside from the hideous verse, there are
objections. Myrrh is not a wood, malacca
grows worthless instead Of precious in burn
ing, cypress has quite another association
with ashes, and tobacco Is most emphatieany
not weed. Or one nigh. say
For its merits wide-spreading tree IL should rise,
In place Of the low, modest plant that 1t Ia
The great branches whereof should sweep the blue
skies,
Waiting their perfume to the mansions OF bliss.
This makes one shudder. We can try
again and start Of with
Never lived the man who found as jet
Its equal for our solace Or amusement
and wind up with "smokes or chews sent"
Supposing we drop out Of English rhyme, in
purely friendly way, and listen to German
who sang long ago:
"Tabak ist men Leben
Dem hab' ich mich ergeben. ergeben;
Tabak list nene Lust.
Wei ieber VOLT ich hsssen,
ia, hsssen selbst zines Madchens Kuss."
A little stout, that last. The choir viii
please omit the sixth line. Few Of Us are
prepared to leave father and mother, and low
er too, and cleave to tobacco.
1t is yet question whether rose by any
other name would smell as sweet, but 1t Ia
certain that tobacco sells better under some
names than others. Who can pass q bunch
of cigarettes, labelled "Sweet Puff" without
wanting to buy it? Thousands Of these are
sold on the strength Of the name, yet the cl-
garette is q poor one. "Solace' was q most
attractive label for brand of chewing tobac-
CO formerly much in use. 1t was good to-
bacco, too; but q Detroit mandatory has
nearly supplanted it with the "May-Flower,"
which is even better than its name. "Frult-
cake" always struck chewer's fancy, but
'Navy" is found to be more ''fllin' for the
price," A plug-tobacco, the "Msy-Apple,',
was once in great favor with people who
knew nothing Of pharmacopalas. Who can
resist those promising names "Flowers and
Fruits" or Screen Seal," or 'Old Judgef'
The ''Vanity Fair" is the best of the long-cut
varieties; of medium strength, good body and
delicate flavor. The use Of the mysterious
''Perique" is the dram-drinking Of smokers.
Of the plug-tobaccoes the ''Diadem" Is highly
esteemed, but the "Gold-Bar'' is decidedly
| the best 1t is of this brand that Rossctti
speaks In his poem of The Blessed Damosel,
rather extravagantly calling it "the gold bar
of heaven" and plcturing his seven.starred
woman as leaning upon a stick of 1t. 1t must
have been the larger Of the two sizes, for the
smaller would scarcely sustain so considerable
weight. The poem it would seem was got
ten up as an advertisement Of the wooden
| woman so often seen before tobacconisa'
| shops.