Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1878-02-02
How to make catfsh--leaye her
alone in a room with an annarinm.

now 70 make cdth5h--le2ye her
alone in a room with an aquarium.
A RARE treat asking fellow about
oncein SIX months to take something"
LIFE is made up of sunshine and
shadow" About five shadows to one
sunshine.
As A rule, the less money you leave
your children when you die, the more
they will have twenty years afterward.
You can get d very good idea of "nat-
uIal selection in its practical workings
by viewing celery glass a ter it has been
once around the table --Hnckege
The art of cOnversation--British tour
ist Ito tellow-passenger, in mid channeD
-" Going across, | suppose" Fellow.
passenger" Yaas. Are you'"-P,mch.
MARK TWAIN says that nothing seems
to please fly so much as to be mistaken
for buckleberry, and if it can be baked
in cake and palmed off on the unwary
as currant, it dies happy,
IT doesn't seem exactly right that a
man should be obliged to walk through
life on two bow-legs just because he in
dulged in the innocent diversion of
suckinghis toes in babyhood.
IT is stated as a solemn truth that
Indians never kiss their wives. All,
human nature is the same, whether under
a white or copper Colored complexion.
But whose wives do they kiss?
THE scientific expedition around the
world, may, perhaps, be able to tell us
when it returns, why a man always takes
off his boots first when undressing, while
a woman begins at her hair.pins.
SILENCE in the courtw thundered a
KENTUCKY judge, the other morning.
" Halt a dozen men have been convicted
already without the courts having been
able to hear word Of the testimony"
II was at the battle of Edge Hill that
Sir Jacob Ashley made his remarkable
prayer: ooh, Lord Thou knowest how
busy must be this day; if | forget
Thee, do not Thou forget me. March
on, boys
A DENTIST tried his first operation
with gas on a robust coored woman.
After she had used up all the gas in the
Office, she wheeled in the chair and
shouted " Hurry up, boss and bring on
another bag of that sweetened wind.'
AN Aberdeen man was telling his symp-
oms-which appeared to himself Of
course dreadful-to a Scotch medical
friend, who at each new item of disorder
exclaimed, Charming Delightful
Pray go on" And when he had finished
the doctor said, with the utmost pleas.
ure "Do you know, my dear sir, yeu
have got complaint which has been for
some time supposed to be extinct? ? | am
so glad"
SOME of those side. splitting witticisms
in congress, which provoke laughter"
and continued laughter" and ere
newed laughter" would create a funeral
gloom if printed in the humorous column
of a daily newspaper. If a congressman
were to get up and read a few pages from
a counterfeit detector, the effort, no
doubt would be profusely punctuated by
daughter" from the membars,-N0rris.
torn Herald.
MANisnot a vain animal far from it.
And yet, when he receives from the
dearest girl in the world q pair Of number
five slippers he gazes complacently at
pair of feet big enough to wear the
HOosac tunnel and murmurs fOndly,
" dear little girl" A sensible Burlington
girl last month presented her sweetheart
with a pair Of slippers he could wear,
They were about eighteen inches long,
four inches straight across the toes, and
had each bay window at the port side
to accommodate the bunions for which
he split his boots. And do you know
that man got so mad he threw the slip.
pers out of the window and hasn't spoken
to the girl since?