Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-10-09
Aids to Digestion.
THE LIGHTNING ROD NAN.

III,
Was sitting by his melon lot.
Three weeks he had his vigil kept
Tasted no food or even slept,
I ct al the while the bad bows crept
Among his melons, where they ate
Enough to XIII ten men, but fate
DEGREES that small boys stuffed di-late.
This maddened farmer, nigh insane,
Thus watched and prayed, but all in vain,
Inc boys preyed tO0-and none were slain.
Just at this awful time there trod
Up to the farmer with nod
An agent for lightning rod.
GOOD morning, sr'' he sweetly spake,
6 My lightning rod you ID better take;
They are the beSt just let me make
80 spare your rods. - the farmer said,
And aimed the gun straight at his head,
lie shot the agent-nOt quite dead.
The bullets fattened at his feet;
he picked one up, and smiling sweet,
Presented it: he ne'er was beat.
Nov. farmer !" said he oh, SO sleek,
"Just buy rod; then you may Wreak t.t.
Your vengeance on the other cheek"
oil city Derrick.
When a man goes out of the poultry
business he tears the tattered hen-sign
down.-Boston Post.
G 1t was before the "joker" was added
to the game of euchre that A. acks was
able to defy the lightning Whitehall
Times.
Some Of the Chinese Embassy wear
outside garm ents of white silk SO closely
resembling night-shirts as to make an
old maid dodge around thc-frst corner.
-Erchaaage. ws7 -7sar- e greg r r.s. h
On the body Of man who was
struck by lightning last week four
autograph albums were found. Cut
this out, young woman, and paste it in
your own album.-Baulington Hauheye.
AT St. Anne's Sunday school in Low
ell, Mass, IN answer to the question,
whit is the greatest church festivalW
a,-littls orphan Of six years promptly re-
spondRd, 1.-THE strawberry festival'
The Indians are really more capable
of civilization than we were disposed to
believe. They have taken to robbing
| trains The first thing you know some
of them will start a savings bank onthe
Boston plan Burlington Halukeye. d.
A nan will brag.- It may be of his
physical powers, his, profound wisdom,
his morality, his depravity, or even his
sicl<nesses, violent cough, sore throat
and all that sort of thing. -Boston
| Transcript. Il
an This is a perilous season for a news
paper 1t is liable to overlook the fact
that one Of its constant readers took the
second prize for crook-neck squashes-
in which event it acquires q bitter enc
my.-Nav Haven Register. . r...,,.J
! The time when a pious editor is ex-
cusahle for knocking splinters from the
! third commandment is when he jabs
the wrong end of his penholder in his
inkstand and hastily shoves it behind
his ear without wi2ing it off, Whitehall
| Times. 4lnyas Eua'D4- -a.HaHi ss#'. ..o
A young lady, hesitating for a word
in describing the character Of a rejected
sutton said * He is not q tyrant, not
exactly ,domineering, K but" o. "Dog- ]
matte" suggested her friend. No, he
has not dignity enough. for that; / think
pupmatic would convey my meaning
admirably"
What a piece of work is man
How noble in reason! How infinite IN
faculties In form and moving, how
express and admirable. In action, how
) like an ANGEL In apprehension, how
like god p And yet, some how or
other, he never looks that when he is
backed up to a peanut stand taking in
a tail-pocket cargo Of peanuts.-Hawk-
eye. WHO'D FE2 goa
The good man slammeth the gate and
banseth the door, and snaketh q noise,
for his heart is without guile and he
feartth not the 'grievous words Of his
wife, put the naughty man shutteth the
gate softly, and stealeth upstairs in his
stocking feet, and stumbleth over the
rockingham, and the last condition of
| that man is worse than the first.-Ec-
clldnN. r-.~wrrRFh q m VIZ /
"Gsm'len," said Brother Gardner of
the Lime Kiln Club, as the members
rose I'D, :'death mus come to all.
We can't escape it by jumpin' inter
Canady, and we can't buy it wild our
wealth. Some Of us will oe hung,
some drowned, some burned UP r. in
barns, some gifts shot by the police, but
it will be death jus de same. Let us
hev our cabins in order, an, let us be
'spectin' a visit from dat 1white-faced
angel who. moves so softly dat men hear
not, an who strikes, SO, swiftly dat men
hev no escape.-DetrDit Free Press. IT
At q recent trial of liquor case the
witness on the stand was under exami-
nation as to what he had seen in the de-
PENDANTS domicile, which he said he
had visited sEa number Of times. "Did
you ever See any spirits there, or any
thing you regarded as espirits?" asked
the presiding Justice. Why, yes-I
don't know but, I have" was the reply
of the witness. Do you know what
kind of spirits ?" Eyes" Glow do
you know" "I kinder smelt it,"
We'll, now," said the judge, straight
ening himself for the convicting
answer which he supposed would be
given, will you please tell me what
kind of spirits it wasp Spirits O.
turpentine' g.
A Beautiful Farm Home.