The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1878-05-24

'Deputy-we call him Sheriff, and he
likes it. How do you part your hairY
In the afternoon went to the third shop.
and found myself in noisy place where the
silver bill was being discussed by a Catho.
lie priest, a Universalist preacher, Police
sergeant, and a reporter.
The unengaged barber pointed to chair
and took my measure with his coal-black
eye.
Iquietly laid my head on the plush. cover.
ed rest. Here at last, thought I, is silent
barber.
Hair cut p asked he.
DO men put their heads down when they
have their hair cat p asked l..
He moved away with greved look. and
presently returned, stirring the lather in a
gilt edged cup.
He lathered me very we'll ,and closed my
eyes for nap.
is The San making money this year.?
Y Il don't know anything about it,
I thought you owned it, or edited it, or
something
We'll, it's something. Now, keep still and
let me sleep
Il see the President doesn't like the silver
bill.'-
had nothing more to say, but allowed
him to have his own sweet will. believe
he oiled my hair and parted it down the back
blacked my moustache, and trimmed my
eyelashes. He certainly tsld me all about
the circulation of the Times, and some won-
derful improvements in wetting down that
has been invented by young Jones, and al
so informed me that he was to play Claude
Melnotte for the Elite of Brooklyn Sup.
ported by any number of volunteers from the
first families.
William Wilson, an elderly gentleman,
took seat in the chair next to mine, and
the black-eyed barber who had shaved me
tackled him.
Hair seems stiff and thin on top, SIR
Dear me, it is getting thinner
Decidedly. Do you use that tonic?'
Il did for awhile, but / don't think it did
any good
How many bottles p
Only one.'
That won't do. John, get me a large bot
tie of the tonic. There, sir, I'll just give
you good square rubbing and then trim off
the ends. I think you'll find benefit in that
| The old man said nothing but swallowed
the tonic.
He was shaved afterward, and his bill was
1918 OF this fifteen cents was for the shave,
twenty for cutting the ends ofhis few bristles
and the rest for the tonic.
In came an advertising agent, large, jol-
ly fellow, who never had headache, and
knows nothing worse than to wait half an
hour for his dinner. He threw open the
door with a flourish, and brought in two or
three hundred gallons of cold air.
He swept his hat from his head with a
majestic curve, and took up the evening pa
paper with rattle
He told broad stories in a - 'g'fgaice,
al was needed. w H"'N> 20 a.;
He slapped the barber on the back and
asked him how he liked it as far as he had
got.
He spoke to every cne in the shop, got in
to an argument with naval officer on the
| Polar expedition, said that Boss Tweed de-
served to be hanged for going back on the
boys, insisted that Plus IX, had been dead
month before the Cardinals dared allow it
| In ha ol
for Tomorrow said that the silver bill was
a boon to the workingmen and served the
bloated bondholders just right, and sub
sided only when some boys about my size
suggested that he hire a hall in which to
continue his harangue.
My shaver told me he had one regular
custom er who is worth to the shop $500 a
year in shaving, dyeing and manipulation.
His hair is very thin and very gray, yet he
endeavors by careful brushing to hide the
bald spot and by constant dyeing to conceal
his whitening locks. OF course every one
knows it-nobody is deceived. The one
man who profits by the vanity of the old
fellow is the barber. and for the sake of his
business he endures his customers petulance
and puts up with his nonsense.
The funni est work we do said he, is to
shave the boys who come down from West
Point or college. They invariably complain
of their stiff boards demand close shave,
and wind up by buying bottle of tonic to
make their whiskers grow"
But high collars are nuisance, are they?
'Oh, you remember that? Yes, indeed
they are. You see, il put the towel down
the mans neck, it hurts him. If ! fix il
over the collar, he fears that I'll break it
If don't shave down to the Adams apple
he says that am slovenly, and if do | II
in danger of cutting his throat. Take ZEN
by small and large, I'm damned if thos,
high collars amt worse than woman's pa
CODA
Women? Do you attend women?'
Certainly, but there's no money in ii
They're too internal fussy. Last week haC
call in the hotel. / went up to No. l65
Come in and in l went To my surprise
there sat middle-aged woman in whit
sack, little wisp of hair down her back
aud about five pounds of false hair, switch
es, rats and things on the table
She screamed loud enough for the Mayo
to hear.
) Get out, man. What do you want ? VIII
are your
I'm the barber, ma am
Il don't want barber, want ha
) dresser
Il can dress your hair said /, ready
split as looked at the little wisp that shoe
when she bobbed her head at me.
Il meyer heard of such a thing. sha
complain TO Mr.. Freeman
tA,d yho , sa;1J Go NJ E.oo.,o o,