davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28
HUMOROUS.

MISTAKEN lDENTITY.--A young farmer
had been arrested Tor smashing In a
shoemaker.s window and raising a row,
and he claimed thai BiIah wa respOnsi
BILE. He explained 10 the court:
"YOu see, | had a lift put OIL my left
boot-heel at that ERE shop, and he
charged me a quarter. j handed him a
trade dollar, aud he Knocked ten cents
OF for discount That made me hoppin'
mad, but 1 was chokin' IL back when
long came Bijah. He said it was a
cheat and a fraud and he told me TO go
In and smlsh things and he'd back me.
/ said | didn't wantarow, and he called
me a hen turkey aud allowed that |
dasn't smash a 'tater. Them got madden
than ever, went in aud smashed, and
here l am"
81 I'M Bijah, and did you see me
therep" asked the old man.
The prisoner looked him over In the
most careful manner, and then replied /:
"Please sing four lines of Darling,
1 Am Growing DID, Perhaps, | may
recognize you by your voice."
mo need of singing" replied the
court. "Does this look like the man or
notp"
I'D like to have him shut up his left
eye, just as that fellow did," continued
the prisoner. 81 was greatly excited,
but L can never, never forget how that
fellow drew down hisleft eye as he told
me TO go in and unshackle my
strength"
"Is he the n or notP" impatiently
demanded his Honor.
The prisoner walked around Bijah,
carefully examined his heels, glanced
at his bald pate and yellow necktie, and
finally said:
81 don't think he's the man, but he
comes mighty near 1t, though. | think
you'd better send him up for three
months on general principlesi l
81 think I'll fine you about ten
dollars, and you'll have 10 pay for the
window BESIDES" remarked the court,
after the laugh subsidized.
"Whatl And let him 90"
eyes"
''1hen ] appealw
"To whatl"
$40 the Supreme Court at Washing
ton, and | want five of the best lawyers
in this town."
Every well, your appeal is noticed,
and you can go in and sit down and
wait for the Maria"
The prisoner pondered the matter
over and concluded to pay his fine and
then begin suit for $4,000 damages.
''There being no one else there who
knew Bijah, the old a started home,
growing out as he left the station:
"Here I've fooled away a whole hour,
and this was the day l was to show old
Mrs. Jones how to put up castor lie for
winter use." st.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28
Enjoy Life

What a truly beautiful world we live In
Nature gives us grandeur of mountains, glenn
and oceans, and q thousand means for enjoy.
ment. We can desire no better when in per.
feet health but how often do the mai ority Of
people feel like giving 1t up disheartened, dis
couraged and worried out. with disease, wheI
there is no occasion for this feeling, as every
sufferer can easily obtain satisfactory proof
that Green's August Flower will make them az
free from disease as when born. Dyspepsis
and Liver Complaint is the direct cause Of sew.
e~nty-fve per cent Of such maladies az Bilious.
ness, Indigestion, Sick Headache, CostiYeness,
Nervous Prostitution, Dizziness Of the Head,
Palpitation Of the Heart, and other distressing
symptoms. Three doses of August Flower
will prove it's wonderful effect. Sample bot
ties, 10 cents- Try it.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28
DOMESTIC.

WATERPRooYING PAPER.-There Is a
very simple process whereby paper can
be made as strong as parchment, and
proof against all moisture, by dipping
II into a solution Of sulphuric acid,
mixed with half Its weight OF water.
Almost as o as the paper Is dipped
into the solution, IL becomes strong and
heavy, and is quite desirable, 1t Is said,
for all the purposes that sheepskin Is
used, and looks almost as well as that
material. For boOkbindingi 1t has proved
very excellent, and as a covering for
preserves and pickles 1t Is equal to
metal. If the paper is covered with
print, II Is just as easily made into a
thick substance, as the acid defaces all
marks. If you desire 70 waterproof
paper without giving 1t tine character
Of parchment, II a be done by dissolv-
ing a pound and a half OF alum In one
part of water, and adding to 1t four
inc of white soap. 1 have the soap
fine and melt IL in the boiling water,
putting In the alum ut the same time.
Then dissolve six ounces of common
glue, and two ounces OF gum arabic, In
one quart of boiling water, and when
all Is we'll melted mix the two solutions
In a boiling state, and dip In the sheets
OF paper while 1t is very hot. Hang
them across lines TO dry, and then press
them smoothly. Paper thus prepared Is
very desirable for packing away articles
exposed TO dampness, as In a sea voyage,
or for any purpose of preserving goods
from moisture.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28
ANOTHER REMARKABLE
CURE OF EPILEPSY; OR, FALLING FITS,
BY HANCES E%PILEPTIO PILLS.

MONTGOMERY, Texas, june y, Ib5I' :.
To Seth +. HANCk;-A person IN my employ had
been afflicted with Fits, or Epilepsy, for thirteen
years; hU had these attacks at intervals of " TO four
weeks, and oft ntimee several in quick successsOn,
some, lines continuing foo two or three days. On soy.
eral occasions they tasted until his mind appeared
totally deranged, In which state he would continue
for a day or two after the fits had ceased. J. tried sew
eTal remedies presCuibed by our resident physicians,
but without success. Having seen your advertisement
l concluded 10 Try your remedy. i obtained Two
boxes Of yOurPills gave them according to directions,
and they effected a permanent cure. The person Is
now a stout and healthy maj, about 81 years OF age.
AMI has not had a fit since he commenced taking your
medicine, ten years since. He was ny principal
WAGNER aud has, since that time, been exposed 10
the severest Of weather. l have great confidence IN
your remedy, and would like every one wh0. has hits
10 give it a trial. b l.. DRFREEsE.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

Hardening Of Copper and. It's ALLOYS
EveriIt gives the following recipe:
Melt together and stir until thoroughly
incorporated, copper and from one TO
six per cent OF oxide Of manganese. The
other ingredients for bronze or other
alloys may then be added. The copper
becomes homogeneous, harder and
tougher.
Bordr, when treated with glycerine,
gives the green color of boracic acid 10 a
Bunsen flame. De Senior and Mr..
Lowe, by an adaptation OF this fact,
have been able 10 detect one-tenth per
cent Of g~lycerine In beer. .
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28
A Few Proverbs.

Better go round than fall into the
ditch.
Better 60 alone than in bad company.
Be slow to promise but quick to per-
form.
Better go to bed supperless than get
up in debt.
Cut your coat according to your
cloth.
Catch the hare before you sell his
skin.
Charity begins at home, but does not
end there.
Do not rip up old sores.
Doing nothing is doing i'll.
Diligence commands success.
Debt is the worst kind of poverty.
Dependence is a poor trade to follow.
Deeds are fruits-words are but the
leaves.
DO unto others as you would have
them do unto you.
Every couple is not a pair.
Everything is good in its season.
Everybody's business is %nobody's
business.
False friends are worse than open
enemies.
Fortune knocks at every mans door
once at least.
Fire and water are good servants, but
bad masters.
Great barkers are not biterA.v
Great pain and little pain makes a
nan weary.
Give a rogue rope enough and hen
hang himself.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

FOR SEVERAL YEARS / have used DR.. Jlyne's
EXpectOra Z In my family, a d can Jrul ay
that know Of no medicine equal TO II Tor check
ing md curing he ireque II Coughs aud Colds
to which childr n are subject at all seas ms or
the lear. | have also realized great benefit
rom II myself, and have recommended IL 10
others, who almost invariably ha 0 learned 10
value Il. l always prds crtbe IL W the students
under our care. when necessary, and he teach
ers willingly add their testlmony 10 mine In
praise Of this medicine.-J. 8. BdiOdrds, Irfnei-
ial Of Providence ooaE. Sem, East Greenwood. X. 1.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28
JOHN D. wATTLES,
6l0 Chestnut St, Philadelphia, Pa

LEAVES FOR WREATHs OR BAsKETs.-
We know of no nicer plan than to
gather and press then with warm irons
mot too hot), until they are dry. If
not quite dry enough they will curl
Over much; If too dry they will be
brittle. Press them-well-just suffi-
cientlyl After all this is done get your
little brush-a camel's hair brush or a
feather tip-and varnish them. We
think one oak-ball basket, lined with
pretty green moss and filled with bright
leaves, put in tumbleSOmely, would be a
little heart-rest all winter long. If You
have pretty wild moss you can pull it
in shreds, wash, dry and dye it your
selves (using Leamon's green a%naline
dye); but the easiest way would be to
send ten cents TO a first-class florist and
ask him to send a little package by.
mail.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28
Hoonand,. German BItters.

During the warm season the nerves becons
enfeebled and the whole system debiitated.
The stomach loses it's power Of digestion, the
liver becomes congested and sluggish, causing
less malaria ut this season engenders Ggue,
bilious or typhoid fevers, often Of serious i'm
port To avoid these consequences, take,
night and morning, q tablespoonful Of Hoof-
lands German Bitters it is q splendid tonic
and Alternative, that will restore the appetite
and digestion, one the nerves, regulate the
liver and strengthen and build up the whole
system TO withstand the summer heat and all
its baneful Influences.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28
THERE Is A CURE FOR EPILEPSY.

Grenada, Miss, June 80.
sETH S. HANcE-Dear sr You will lind Enclosed
five dollars, which 1 send yon for two boxes OF yOur
Lpileptic Pills. Twas the first person who tried your
Pills in this part Of the country. My son was badly
afflicted with hts for two years. l wrote tor and re-
ceiyed two boxes of your Pills, which he took accord
ing 10 directions. He has never had a fit since. 1t
was by my persuasion that Mr.. Lyon tried your Plils.
His case wac a Yer, bad one, he had hts nearly all his
life. Persons have written to me from Alabama and
Tennessee on the subject, for the purpose OF Hscer'
always recommended them, and IN no instance where
/ have had a chance OF hearing from their effect have
they failed 20 cure. Yours, etc., q. II. Guy,
Grenada, Yalabusha Co., Miss.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

EPILEPSY, or Falling Fits, is such distress
ing malady and one 30 calculated to rob life Of
its comfort and take from the afflicted ones
that feeli.-g of confidence and security which
health promotes, that it is with a feelingo of re-
lief, we read the certificates of those who have
been, great sufferers from this malady, but
whose restoration to health has been brought
about by the use OF "Hance's Epileptic Pills"
Their testimonials will be found in another
column Of this paper, and are worthy Of care
ful consideration.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28
A Reporter Reporting Himself

A. W. Prick, Esq, of the Buentng Bulletin,
Philadelphia, SAYS that after three attacks of
he discarded the Doctors physlc- and resorted
to DIR. Herndon 3 Gypsey's Gift, which entirely
relieved him in two days. Have HIM inter
viewed. 1t Is a new, harmless and powerful
remedy. Sold all over Philadelphia. Send for
circular to J. ]. Gr1ndall, Box $40, P. o. Balti-
mora
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28
Cinnamon Vine!

JAPAN POTATO-Food for the million in
China and Japan; perfectly hardy in any snnil; prop
aqated from fubrrs or from small tails. The bal 8
when fist intr, duced into The United States were
sold at Sl2 per dozen, and tubers from So to $50
tubers 10 cents to 81 each tone and two years ODD
Agents wanted to Introduce the ,esculent every
receipt Of one Dollar, containing ono 2 year old, two
| year old tubors and one doz, bal Is worth So .tOl,
with full descrip-ion Of its properties as an edible
and ornamental climbtr. Address
i. W. BRIGGS, West Malldon, N. Y.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

~STAUNToN( yA) vINDIoAToR oFFIcE-Dr. Q.
W. Benson We lose no opportunity to re-
commend your Celery and Chamomile Pills to
our friends for Neuralgia and Sick and. Nery-
GUS Headache. They act like a charm with us.
"a TINsLEY d MORTON.
Pennsylvania trade supplied by Johnston
Holloway ~ Co., French Richard & Co., Bull
lock q Crenshaw. of Philadelphia
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28
Reliable Dry Goods House.

II you want Silks, Black Goods, Dress Goods,
Hosiery or Dry Goods of any kind below the
market prices, and wish to have the advan-
tage of all the great trade sales, and of losses
made by importers, send your orders or write
for samples to b. F. Devices, 1924 formerly of
1850 Chestnut street. They send out thousands
of samples and ill orders daily from all parts
of the country
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28
A Letter to Sunday school Teachers.

DEAR FRENDs:-MAny OF you are already on
the lookout for the best lesson helps for next
year. 1t is not the purpose OF this letter to
claim that a certain publication is better adapt
cd TO your use than another; but 10 afford you
an opportunity to Judge for yourselves. Prob.
ably the surest way to get what Is best suited
10 your wants is for you TO make a fair trial
now, Of some Of the prominent publications.
While the regular price Of The Sunday School
Times "a sixteen page weekly paper is S2l5 a
year, it will be sent TO new subscribers, on
trial for three months. for twenty-five cents.
The Boston Journal in commenting upon
The Sunday School Times, pronounces it
beyond all question the best paper Of the
kind published IN the country" The Congre-
qdiiOnalisL OF Boston says: 1.-THE Times was
never better than it ia now, and in breadth,
intelligence, variety, and general ability. ii
compares favorably with the leading religious
papers of the lAnd;" while The Independent, Of
New York, calls it, The best periodical Of its
class in the world, with q subscription list
which only two or three OF our religious peri
odicsls can profess TO equal"
1t will be well for you to enclose also, seven
cents for q specimen copy Of The Scholars
Quarterly. This publication has a circulation
Of lao, 900 copies among all denominations.
Specimens Of the Weekly Lesson Leaf will be
sent to you, free, if you wish to see them.
Yours, truly.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

FAIRBANKs & 60. are receiving orders
from every inhabited part of the globe,
and although they made more scales
last week than in any week before, they
have orders for more than iOur thou
sand scales ahead of production.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28
Mrs. General sherman

Says: / have frequently bought Durangs
Rheumatic Remedy for friends suffering with
Rheumatism, and in eUery instance it worked
like magic. Sufferers with rheumatism make
note Of this, and send for circular to Helph-
enstine a Bentley, Druggists, Washington,
D.. @. Sold by all druggists.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

PRESERVATION OF FooDs BY ACETATE
OF Notwithstanding to an English
patent, fresh meat, fish, vegetables etc.,
are preserved by immersing them in a
more or less concentrated solution of
acetate of ammonia, and allowing them
to dry in the air. If the articles are to
be kept for months, or years, they are
packed In cans filed with a solution of
the salt.-The boiling, roasting, etc.,
readily expels the acetate, and the arti-
Giles are said to be free from the sweetish
taste which acetate of soda always i'm
parts.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

liz YOU take one of the new silver half
dollars, pour a little muriatic acid on
the figure Of the eagle, and set IL out in
the sun for twenty minutes, when you
come to look at IL it will be gone. And
the tramp who took 1t will be gone,
alsO.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

"WHAT's that?" be, asked his land
lady, as she set his cup by his plate.
Coffee" was the prompt and decisive
reply, "Ah," innocently remarked the
boarder, with an air of interest, land
what is it made Off" t-
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28
AMOsT REMARKABLE CURE.s

PHILADELPHIA, June p, lbI.
kETH HANcE, Baltimore, Md.-Dear sir seeing
your adNertseusAt, l was INDUCED q Try your Lpi-
leptic Pills. j was attacked with Epilelsy In July,
loo3. lmmediately my physician WAS sunni guel, nut
ho could give me no relief. / then consulted another
physsc.An, but l seemed 10 grow worse. j then trled
the treatment Of aLOther, but without any good eject;
] again returned TO my family physician; was cupprd
anu bled several tines. i was generally attacked
without any premonit ~ symptoms. j hal had from
two tO.tye hts a day, at Intervals Il two weeks. Was
often attacked in my sleep, aud would fall wherever
L would be, or whatever be occupied with and was
severely Injured several times from the tails. i Wa
affected 30 much that 1 lost all confidence Ia myself.
i also was affected In my business, and ! consider
that your Epileptio Pills cured me. In February,
1855, ] commenced TO use your Pills, and only had tive
attacks aiterNard. The last one was April ., 1872,
and they were Of les serious character. With the
blessing Of Providence your medicine Was made the
instrument by which 1 was cured OF that dlHu hslng
%afiietiOn. THINK That the Pills and their good effects
should be made known wi that persons
whU are similarly affected may have the beneht OF
them. Any person wishing further information can
obtain IL by calling at my residence, No. SO Moth
WILLIAM ELDRE.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

A WIDOW in the west, intending to
succeed her husband in the management
of a hotel, advertises that .the hotel
win be kept by the widow of the
former landlord, Mr.. Brown, who died
last summer on u new and improved
plau.'' Ell Ef.-a.G
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

WATER FURRows.-When all else is
done make the necessary water burrows
at once. There may come a heavy rain
the next day and do damage. Disperse
the water in3o several channels, rather
than to permit it to collect in n or
two. When the field is in grass, these
water burrows will be useful in spread
Ing the rain more evenly yer the field.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

Two oil but penniless lawyers who
attended one of our churches recently
were highly pleased with the sermon
and congregation until the pastor asked
the choir to arise and sing, "Come, Ye
SINNERS, Poor and needy" Then,
with a howl that could be heard above
the double bass of the organ, the startled
lawyers arose and fed, declaring that
they'd never again enter the house of
God TO be insulted.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

AS THEY passed a gentleman whose
optics were terribly on the bias, little
Dot murmured: "Ma, he's got one eye
that don't CO."
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

GRAPEs.-1n gathering, use scissors
made for the purpose, which hold the
fruit after it is severed, and avoid the
necessity Of handling, which, by remOv-
ing the bloom, greatly Injuries their APP
pearance and consequently the sale.
Gather in trays OF shallow boxes and
keep In a cool, airy room for a few days,
until the skin toughens somewhat.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

SUCCESSFUL love takes a load off our
heart and puts it on our shoulders.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

WASHING MIRRORS. - Never wash
mirrors with a cloth, but after removing
all dust from mirror or frame with an
old silk handkerchief or feather duster,
dampen an old newspaper, and rub the
surface of the mirror till perfectly clean
and free from spots; then wipe off all
the moisture with a dry paper, and the
mirror will be as clear as glass a be
without notes or streaks, as is the
case when it is washed and polished
with q cloth.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

SEARCHING will discover all things;
and to discover as well as remove i'm
purities of the blood. the best blood
searcher is DR.. Bulls Blood Mixture.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

OUNCE SEED.-Quince seed is good
for sore or inlamed eyes. Take about
one-half dozen ounce seeds, put about
a tablespoonful scalding water; let it
stand till cool, and battle the eyes just
before going to bed and in morning.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

SILIoATE of magnesia is recommended
as a perfectly harmless substitute for the
often dangerously adulterated violet
powder.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

BOILED starch Is much improved by
the addition of a little sperm, or a little
salt, or both, Oh a little gum arabic dis
solved.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

SALT will curdle new milk; hence in
preparing milk porridge, gravies. ETC.,
the salt should not be added until the
dish is prepared.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

The individual chiefly anxious to see
the rule laid down is the %schoolboy.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

KEROSENE will soften boots or shoes
which have been hardened by water,
and render them az pliable "a new.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

YOUNG MEN now wear their hair a la
moved.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

Horse BLANKETs.-A pair of horse
blankets should be found on the premi-
SEES of every man who owns a horse. 1t
Is a barbarous practice to allow dumb
animals to stand uncovered IN the
streets, chilled to the marrow by the
piercing winds of fall and winter.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28
+ 7 S !!
FITS! FITSI FITSi
CURE OF EPILEPsYi OR, FALLING PITS,

Persons labOring under this distressing malay
will tnd Hance . Epilepiic Pills O. BE- tie 0nJ rem
sdy ,Ner discovered for curing Epilepsy or Failing
fis.
The following certificates hould be read by all the
Athlete 1: .hoy are t. every respect true, aud should
they be READ By any one who IL not aiiict. q himself,
name act ~ cutting this 0utah i sending It 10 him
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-11-28

No ONE can develop the grace Of
meekness by listening to crying baby.
Stop its fretfulness by curing the Collie
with DR.. Bulls Baby Syrup.