St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1878-10-04
A Fly Mandatory.

A Fly Mandatory.
Flies are artificially prOpogated in
New Jersey near Patterson, where an
association of men have invested capi-
tai, and are running the works to their
full capacity.
Flies are incubated from eggs by an
artificial Matching arrangement, and the
young flies are taught all the deviltry
they know right in the factory. Some
will look on this statement as false, and
wonder why any association of men
should engage in the artificial propoga-
tiOn of the fly. We will explain. 1t is
well known that flies die at the end OF
the season, and if it were not for artifi-
cial propagation, there would be none
the second season. The parties that are
engaged in this industry are also sole
manufacturers of fly paper and fly traps.
We trust that the object is now plain.
In order to sell their paper and traps, it
is necessary to have game to catch.
The gentlemen had engaged largely in
the manufacture of fly paper and fly
traps before they knew that flies only
lasted one season. and after IL year OF
success they found bankruptcy staring
them in the face, us it was probable they
would not sell sheet of paper the next
year. So they organized the "Great
American Artificial Fly Incubating AS
sociation of New jersey" and issued il
million dollars worth of stock.
We have not room to describe the
hatching of flies in the sun, but it is like
Matching chickens by steam. Some OF
the best old flies are kept to lay eggs,
and the eggs are placed on cards and
put into an oven. They hatch out III
twenty minutes, and are ready in hall
an hour to learn the business. First
they are taught to wade in butter, to
swim in cream and to get into things
around the kitchen. Then the young
flies are taken to the dormitory, where
men and and women, engaged for the
purpose, are pretending to sleep. All
old fly and hundred young ones arr
placed in each room, and the old fly
after lighting on shirt bosOms OF female
white goods, in order to teach the young
flies the noble art of punctuation, be-
gins to get in it's work on the sleeper
The old fly, after seating the young
flies on cuffs and collars, calls, "At-
tentiOn ~ and after buzzing arOunO
little, lights Oh the sleeper's nose. Th,
sleeper pretcnds to be mad and slaps al
the hy-this is IL mere matter of form
however, for if the sleeper engaged by
the association kills an old stool fly, il
is deducted from his or her salary. A.
the old fly gets away, the young fiie'
laugh and want to try it themselves
Then the old fly lights upon the lady
sleeper's big toe, and proceeds deliber
ately TO walk up her foot, ankle and calf
occasionally stopping to bite. This il
very trying to the alleged sleepers, caus
ing nervousness and a twitching of I'll,
muscles, but they must not injuTe the fly
The little flies notice everything, ant
after the old fly has caroused around
and tickled and buzzed, then the yOun.
flies are allowed to practice on them
The persons practised on get So a da'
and board, as it is very particular ans
trying situation.
Then comes the expensive business O
distributing flies throughout the cOuu
try. Formerly it was done through
book agents and lightning rod peddlers
but that was found too expensive, $,
the association originated the idea o
sending out regular agents called tramp
to introduce the flies. The first yea
only about 10000 tIamps were sent out
but the business has grown to sucl
huge proportions that it is estimated
that this year the association has Ou
half million tramps, leaving file
around. They go from house to hous
begging, and before they leave the,
manage to drop few flies. Each tram
has il card with Il million young flies OF
it. After he has partaken of his meal
and the woman of the house is out afte
shotgun or a dog to drive him away
he slips his hand up his sleeve ant
tears off a piece of card containing per
haps 10000 young flies and drops it il
the woodboX, or in some cOnvenien
place. That is enough to start on, a
the flies breed rapidly. The next da,
the woman will wonder ''where on airtl
all them flies come from"
The company has distributing point
all over the country, Chicago, St. Lou
is, and st. Paul being among them
where the tramps go once a month 70
a new supply. A card will last tram
thirty days. The introduction of the fl
paper and the fly traps is easier, as th
articles are sent directly to druggists
who sell them to consumers. Stock i
the association is worth an immens
amount, paying quarterly dividend q
20 per cent. The only way that the fl
nuisance can be abated is to kill th
tramps as fast lis they enter a communi
ty, or destroy the manufactory at Ne,
Jersey. The Sun has exposed the he
farious business: now let the peopl
rise up and crush it out of existence
MiI,Oaukee Sun.