National Republican., 1878-06-27

l
arises from the reception Of anonymous
notes like the following-pleasant because
such notes give testimony that, in this in
stance, our editorial labors have aroused
the admiration and the ire of some one and
perplexing, because there is no telling who
that some one Is. But the note must speak
for itself:
PREMIUM LIAR.
To the editor Of the Kitchen Organ:
You received to-day the Premium as boss
liar from the association Of liars, now In con-
vention. There was a resolution introduced
IN the convention to ask you TO modify your
| lies as you far exceed any Of the others in the
profession, so that some Of the older members
may catch up with you and because you will
lie on some Gentleman, aud he will give you
Genteel cowhiding, that you 30 richly deserve
You will catch II, mark tho word Of men,
Der Of the order. Your lies are willful and
peremeditated, and they injure your dirty
sheet very much-that Is IL Il can be injured
Now, you look out for the Cowhiding.
BRUTUS JUNIUS.
We have had no idea, since the adjourn
ment Of the Democratic House, that such a
convention as the one referred to by our ad-
miring friend, BRUTUs JuNIus, was in ses-
sion In this country, and we are not certain
about 1t even now, for B. J. may have heard
from the Berlin affair over which our most
earnest admircr and follower, BISMARCK, is
supposed to WELD some influence. Wehave
all along expected to receive some testi-
monial of BIsMARCK's respect, and if "the
convention Of liars now in session" at his
home, and right under his nose has not
been used by him to crafty our expecta-
tions we shall be sadly disappointed, almost
as much 80, in short, as BRUTUs JUSIus
will be should he attempt the "genteel cow
hiding he says we 80 richly deserve:
For the sake of peace and good order,
however, and in the interests of personal
convenience; we respectfully demur against
the member of the order" giving it TO us
except at stated hours. In other words, we
do not want to catch IL" in way that viii
Inconvenience our readers by interfering
with our delightful duty of preparing ma
tutinal mental pabulum for their aesthetic
intellectual appetites We therefore in
form b. Initials that stand for ''bur
Juice" as well as for BRuTUs JUNTUs-that
our reception hours for such visitors as he
would like to prove himself to be are from
ten q. IN. to twelve m. From halfpast one
p. IN. until late into the night and the "wee
"sma' hours ayant the twal," there are sew
eral of us around, more, perhaps, than he
would care to encounter, unless he is de-
sirous of undertaking q wholesale business.
But, on mature reflection, we have de-
cided to decline the Premium awarded to
us 1t does not belong to us. We have
not earned 1t. We have not even
competed for it. 1t belongs down at
the other end Of the Avenue" either 10 tho
chief caterer for the organ of the Insane
Asylum or farther down that thoroughfire,
to red-headed JIM otherwise known as the
Pelican Periurer. As for the cowhiding,
VIC resign that also. 1t should be deservedly
bestowed upon the saltatory SPRINGER,
Sweet Sucker of the Sangamon. Were CAR
TER HARRISON here, we would nominate
him for the honor instead of SPRINGER;
but, alas, CARTER is at home in Chicago,
trying to explain away that vote of conf
dence, respect, admiration and adulation in
and for ex-Doorkeeper Polk. And SAM
Cox has gone away, too; likewise GLOVER.
So SPRINGER must catch it."