, 1878-01-19
Meet NE at the Gate.

Meet tHe az INe Ga1e.
A pale>faced, anxious-looking man,
who looked as though he supped with
sorrow every week, lives out on North
Hill with his wife and seven lovely
blooming daughters. He has, with all
these seven lovely daughters. only one
front gate. and that is what makes him
pale. Las. summer be srent two huns
dred and seventeen dollars repairing
that front gate. putting IN new ones and
experimenting with the various kinds
of hinges, and after all that the gate
swung all through the winter on
leather strap aud piece of clothes lire.
and there was peace in the household,
and the man grew fat. But when the
April days were nigh. it soon became
apparent to the man that his troubles
were at hand, aud anxiety soon drove
the roses from his damask checks. and
robbed his ribs of their substance. He
ked to climb over the back fence to
avoid calling attention to the disrepu-
table. looking old gate, but his self>ds-
NAL was of no avail. One evening his
eldest daughter, Sophronia, said:
''Pa, that horrid old gate is the most
disgusting thing on the street. If you
can't afford to have it fixed. I'd take it
down and put up siile."
And pa only groaned. But an even
ing or so later his youngest daughter
came in and said with considerable
warmth:
''P2! wish you had that beastl- gate
tied to your neck, that's what wish!"
And she dissolved in tears and evap-
GRATED up stairs in misty cloud. while
her sisters followed slowly, casting se-
proachful looks at pa. And the next
evening his third daughter. Azalea came
bouncing into The room about half-past
8 o'clock in the evening. with her gloves
in a condition to indicate that she had
been patting gravel. and said with some
energy. that if pa had no feeling, other
people had. and she wished she was
dead she did. and she hoped that the
next time that pa went ont of that hate
full old gate he'd fall from Arch street
to the bridge. so she did. And the next
time that pa went out of that gate he
found it PROSTATE between the posts,
and saw that the fragile strands of the
clothes line had parted under some ex>
traordinary pressure, and that was what
allied Azalea's gloves. Pa saw there was
nothing Cor it but new gate, and he
groaned aloud at the dreary prospect Of
furnishing gates to support the manly
forms of the best young men in Bur-
hngton for another summer. lie pom
dered, and pondered, and pondered'
He became the confident to carpenters;
he was often seen guiltily showing GER
tain plans to blacksmiths and GINNING
workers in iron and steel. And in due
time he had new gate up, massive
gate, with great posts, ornsmented and
Substantial; and the seven sisters were
pleased. They read on z little brass
plato that patent was applied for, the
words for 130 pounds" but they didn't
know what it meant until last evening.
Last evening the weather, though
sufficiently cool to be bracing, admitted
test of the new gate. A murpur of
voices arose from the vicinity of that
popular lovers retreat as Sophronia
swung idly to and from its heavy frame.
Presently a pale-faced man, who held
his hand upon his breast to still his
beating heart, as he crouched in a dark
corner Of the porch, heard Rudolphus
say:
'.But believe me, Sophronia, my own
hearts idol, between the touches of the
rude hand of ii -"
As he began the word he leaned for
ward aud bent his weight upon the gate
and with sharp click a little trap
door in the side of the post flew open,
aud a many -jointed arm of steel. with
an iron knob as big as Virginia gourd
on the end of it. few out, and with the
rapidity of lightning. hit Rudolphus
two resounding peals between the shout
1ers that sounded like base>drum ex-
plosion.
"Oh. h-h-gosh" he roared. "I'm
stabbed! I'm stabbed" and, without
picking up his hat. fed, shrieking for
the doctor. while Sophronia rushed into
the house crying, PA! pa! pa! Rudolf
phus 10 shotr' and swooned. The pale
faced man said nothing, but shruuk
still further back into the shadow, and
thrust his handkerchief INTO his mouth
to stife smile. Pretty soon he knew
,he voice of his daughter Azalea at the
gate saying good night. But rich
manly voics detained her, and the meas
ured swing Of the gate was again heard
in The distance. Soon he heard Lo>
renzo ssy. - hs made ready to climb
upon the gate: