The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1878-09-25
HunOr OF the Day.


Humor OF the Day.
A wit said of piece where the scenery
required to be changed necessarily that
it was "a very moving play"
Gussie-Lizzie darling, why DO you
wear another woman's halr3 Lizzie
Gussie dear, why do you wear another
ca, mean, why do you wear calf's
skin on your hands9
Aunt Mary-Here, Ethel dear, ! have
brought you some honey drops. Mamma
oh, how nice! Ethel must save them
till she has cough. Ethel CATER wait
ing two or three minutes 1--WE got a
cough now.
"Now, then, madame, please look
steadily at this place on the WALL" said
photographer to an old lady, when he
had put her in position and the plate in
the camera. The old lady looked hard at
the spot indicated, then got up and
walked across the floor and infinitely in
spected it, and then, turning to the pho
tographer, gently remarked, II don't see
anything there"
Two Highlanders, killed in primitive
order, dropped inadvertently into an
Episcopal chapel on Sunday, and seated
themselves in comfortable pew. Hav-
ing never been in an Episcopal chapel be-
fore, their establishment cannot be de-
scribed on beautiful symphony being
struck up by the organist. At that in
slant gentleman came to take posses
sion OF the seat, and civilly laid his hand
on the shoulder of one of them, and
pointed to the door. "Hout, tout!" cried
the Highlander, "tak out Donald there;
he be far better dancer than me-"
To know whether garden has been
planted Or not, a paper gives the follow
ing rule: eff one forgets whether beds
are planted or not, a good way to tell is
to turn stray cat into the garden. If
the beds are planted the cat will proceed
to race round and dig into them, and act
as If it had relatives in China whom it
was anxious to get at; while, if they are
not, it will sit down calmly in the path
and seem to be meditatlng on the
progress of missionary work IN Africa. A
cats instinct seldom deceives in this
matter"
The matrons of society are complain
ing of the gross want of politeness ex'
hibited by the young men of the day, who
it seems,a rule, ignore the K. s. w. OF
invitation cards, and leave the hostess in
doubt as to the number of guests she
| may expect. One Of these insolent youths
received neat rebuff when, on drawing
forth as the excuse for not having written
"Oh, you know, now men don't answer"
he was met by the remark, "No, men do
not answer, but gentlemen do"
| The other night two Englishmen enter
ed the pit of German theater, and as
soon as the curtain went up one of them
began to talk to his companion in their
native tongue. Their ne1ghbors prompt
" requested him to be silent. ''Why
should be silent?" asked the unwelco1ne
! visitor. because everybody is here to
listen," somebody replied. "On the con-
trary, I am here to speak," E'That is a
poor JEST" "Not at all. I am an inter-
prefer, and as such have been paid to
translate the piece to this gentleman as it
goes on"
"Throughout the hot and dusty day
The sprinkling sprinkler sprinks its way,
I And sprinkles sprinklings Up and down
The sprinkful precincts of the town.
At crossings sprinkly sprinkled DER;
In vain the sprightly sprinkling boots
Who sees the sprinkler sprink his boots
That sprinkling sprinkler sprinkles on
Until it's sprinkling sprinkis done,
| Nor pauses for a curse or thank
Unless its final sprink is sprank.'
Here is a naval story, not dozen years
old, which reveals the amusing Ignorance
of senior officer in matters outside his
profession. A lieutenant on board al
English guardship applied to his captain
for leave to 90 on shore. It was refused.
He asked again; the same answer, more
peremptory than before. He repeated
his request and asked for reasons O.
refusal. Both we're still obstinately with
held. "But sir" he expostulated, eff
ask for leave, and you refuse it withou
giving me any reasons, I shall walk abou
the deck with stigma on my back" "B.
George, SIR" cried the irate and rathe
unreasonable captain, eff I catch vo7
walking up and down her Majesty's dec]
with any thing but her Majesty's uniform
on your back, I'll have you tried b
= court-martial."
! Just before late thunderstorm a ma
= stepped into telegraph office and re
q quested the privilege Of talking through
, the telephone with his wife, who wa
- visiting the managers wife at distan
% telegraph station. The assistant manage
- granted the request, and the man bega
= operations. He couldn't be prevaile
- upon to believe that it was really his viii
>, who was talking to him, and she SO man
!" miles away. He finally asked her to sa
or do something known to themselve
only, that he might be convinced that
was she. Just then rambling streak {
9 lightning came on the wires, hitting tt
o husband violently on the head, when b
a jumped to his feet and exclaimed" II al
satisfied, all correct"