Connecticut western news., 1878-10-23
WIT AND WISDOM.

When fall comes-fall leaves.
 Current news-Table of tides in the almanac.
 At the foot of his profession-the chiropodist.
 Do you know what the man got who took @ car? He got aboard. .-NoyT. Her.
 Tho worst thing about handsome woman is some other arm than your own.
 A Kentucky woman has married MT. Caico-has welded prints, as it were.
 Sitting bull wants to come back to the States for fresh hair and 0 little exercise.
 -" When there is will there is way" says the provsrb, and the lawyer adds, "to break it."
 -"Dying in poverty" says our cynic, "is nothing, It is living in poverty that comes hard on fellow"
 The busy bumble-bee has gone into its hole for spell, and the busy spell ing-bee comes forth for another spell.
 There is many man strong enough to hold a bull by the horns, and yet not strong enough to hold his own tongue.
 Rather curious, isn't it, that the men who make cider always keep pall of water around the mill to drink from when thirsty.
 -Brizzlszzi is the name of an African King mentioned by Stanley. The Breakfast Table says it sounds like Q mosquito bite.
 The greatest thoughts are wronged if not linked with beauty, and they win their way most surely when arrayed in their fit attire.
 The Richmond Religious O6serUer wants its subscribers who are in arreara to pay up, even if they have to borrow the money to pay with.
 Thou shalt abstain from deceiving others by word or deed. Thou shalt speak no word that is false.- Duun1SU COuuLnttuu1ucuVS.
 Whose will feel the tenderest participation in joy, let him not look at happy children, but at the parents who rejoice to see them happy.
 When usefulness is considered, the man who smokes cigarettes dwindles into insignifcance by the side of the in- diyidual who smokes hams
 A schooner of beer does not seem to be by any means bottomless depth, and yet many brown stone front has tumbled into them and been lost
 An Iowa paper gives thrilling account of the effort of young man to take home Q widow and three swarms of bees at the same time in a wagon.
 Only they who carry sincerity to the highest point, in whom there remains not single hairs breadth of hypocrisy. can see the hidden springs of things.
 Setting out on thy souls pilgrimage, unite myself what hearts thou canst. Know we'll that a hundred holy temples of Mecca have not the value of O heart.
 A Kentucky editor says neighbor of his is so lazy that when he works Tn the garden he moves about so slowly that the shade of his broad-brimmed hat kills the plants.
 He jumped on board the train
 And cried Farewell, Lucinda Jane,
 My precious, sweet Lucinda"
 Alas, how soon he changed his cry;
 And, while the tear stood in his eye,
 He said: "Confound loose cinder!" 7"
 A young man in Hokah, Minn., in published card calls the attention of Q candidate to the fact that he " is owing my mother @ milk bill of $3.50, which he has been putting off for three or four years" A correspondent asks: "I tenderly love a beautiful girl who lives back near the hill in the house with the new porch. Gan any one tell me what will take fresh paint stains out of the foundation of pair of broadcloth pants?"
 A widower had five grown daugh- ters who wouldn't let him take second wife. He gave up the wife but bought savage dog, and now won't allow a man to cross his door-sill. If he can't marry, the girls shan't, he says.
 -" Alexander Selkirk, plaintively re- marked man who had been shinning around trying to borrow some money, "hsd more friends within easy reach than have" And he wept as he thought of the middle of next week, and wished he was in it.
 -"Anything new with you to-day ?" inquired man of his friend who was suffering from inflammation of the lungs. CT should think so," replied the suf- ferer. "What is it?" said the first speaker. Pneumonia" answered tho victim. = Hackensack Repu6licGn.
 The eighth wonder of the world is that fellow will chew dog leg pretzels three weeks old with great gusto in a beer saloon, but will go home and kick the table over and spit soap-suds for on hour if the sponge cake happens to be q little dry on one aide. = WhesJing 6sas- " <1s<stS Yus<s<Iss& ak .sfs