The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1878-10-31
FLASHES.


Wonderful performance-Eilling {
pig and then curing it.
Nothing has so many ties binding il
to the earth as railroad.
A touching incident-a bee stingins
4 bad boy on the end Of the nose.
There's big difference between din
ner for nothing and nothing for dinner
"Before I'd live on Charity" said
an old lady, "1'd beg my bread from
door to door,"
Trust not horses heels nor dogs
tooth, neither a man who says he'll pay
on Saturday.
Misery does not always love COM
pany, if the campapy happens to be
mosquitoes.
Do the words "frou grave to gay, D
we see in the papers, alludc to newly
made widows?
There is talk of organizing good
mans party. All other sorts Of people
have had q chance.
A puuster challenged a sick mans
vote at an election on the ground that
be was an ill-legal voter.
A man who with bare feet stepped on
q pile of carpet nails, said they re.
minded him of the income tax.
Patience and gsntleuess are potent
and powerful, but they cannot turn a
mill wheel nor break up a setting hen.
The difference between a cow and a
milkman is that the former gives pure
milk. This may BE- chalked down as a
fact.
A brave man is one who is not afraid
to wear his old clothes until he can
afford to buy new ones. All editors are
heroes.
A Southboro Swede Dragged that he
could stay under water half an hour.
At last accounts he had been under
three days.
A famous Irishman thus wrste to
friend: cat this moment am writing
with sword in one hand and pistol
in the other"
A Connecticut woman was appointed
constable tho other day, and the first
thing sbo said was &: Now I shall
catch a man p
"It feels decidedly like fall" said an
old citizen the other day, as his foot
struck piece Of orange peel and his
head struck the bricks.
The young woman who used to sing
50 divinely "Oh, had the wings of a
dove" is satisfied with q chicken leg
now. She is married.
It is suggested that one reason Why
30 many marriages turn out unhappy is
because the bridegroom is never the
"best man /" at the wedding.
Mean-Any father who would 90 out
and put tar on top of his front gate af-
ter dark must be lost to all sense of hu>
manity and ordinary responsibility.
An Iowa minister is 10 the way Of an
immense fortune. He has invented a
churu which is operated by rocking
to and fro in cushioned armchair.
Suppose I should work myself up
to the interrogation point :" said beau
to his sweetheart. {" I should respond
with an exclamation !" was the reply.
A photographer has succeeded in
photographing heart5eats. There are
few who haven't had an extensive prac-
tice IN photographing deadbeats, too.
You may talk about the clean and
hungry Cassius," but did you ever take
q side view of the man who has run
store ten years without advertisings
"Do not marry widower," said the
old lady. "a ready made family is
like plate of cold potatoes" "Oh, I'll
soon warm them over" replied the dam
sci, and she did.
Edison is asked TO invent quart
bottle that will hold quart. 1t seems
simple enough, but it il fact that q
pint and q half is as near as most deal
ers in liquids get to it.
The heaviest snorer we have heard of
is tho man whose wife woke him up
during a tempest, saying she did wish
he would stop snoring, for she wanted
to hear the thunder.
It was q funny but expressive way
the fve-year old had of describing the
decorated military officer be pointed out
to his mother an "the soldier with all
those baggage checks on his coat"
Perhaps the worst thing that has
vet been laid to the Chinaman is that
he is the inventor Of base ball. No
wonder that the people out West shoot
him down like a hog, aud cut of bis
pig-tail after be is down.
An old traveller :ells pretty tough
story about being lost in the woods
with his dog, where he could find no.
thing to eat, and had to cut off his
dogs tail, which he broiled for himself,
and afterwards gave the dog the bone.
We would rather trust q man for hum
dred dollars thhu ID believe that stbry;