, 1878-03-22
OF FAILURES.

do tell me-" said /, the other even
ing, to friend who was reading-.hor-
Montalized, man-fashion, on two chairs,
"what to write about; something pop
ular; something of public interest"
He stretched himself, put down his
book, looked at me solemnly and grave
ly. and opened his mouth. l expected
10 be overwhelmed with the stupendous.
ness Of the subject he was about to pro-
pose.
He only said;
Nothing is going on now-except
failures; and of course you don't know
any thing about those Then he turn
ed to his book with an air OF having ST.
fenced me SO completely that there was
not the slightest danger of my inter-
rupting him a second time.
"Well, / ought to know something
about failures" thought 1, wrathfully.
81 have heard enough about unpaid
dividends, reduced capital stock, exam
inera, receivers, assignees, creditors, as
sets, liabilities, ten, twenty, thirty, for
ty cents ON the dollar; and If cannot
name correctly all the monetary institu-
tions and mercantile houses that have
failed lately, / at least have observed
he effect OF some Of these failures.
Why, there is Tom, as nearly angelic
AZ any man l ever knew-except the
parson-reads the morning paper, gives
his wife snappish answers, hurries away
from the breakfast. table, and goes off to
business as cross AS the letter K. Such
behavior on Toms part is so startlingly
in contrast with his usual placid, un-
ruffied, sunny-temperedness, that the
remainder OF the family feel their ap-
petites quite destroyed and their men.
tai and moral bases tottering.
Poor fellowl he must have diseov-
cred the notice OF another failure" says
his wife, eItenuatingly; and she search
90 the columns Of the daily. Eyes,
here it is, and in his line OF business,
toe; they probably owe him something" ="
And Harry comes home and forgets to
Hiss his wife and little girl, and says,
when offered the evening papers, that
he is tired Of reading tho papers, that
they have only enc thing in them and
mopes, and neglects his hour of prac-
hce at the piano, and says No-with at
least fifty exclamation points after it
when his wife asks if he can spare her
ten dollars to so shopping with the
next day, and remarks that they may
not have q cent to live upon in few
weeks more, for it is not unlikely that
the business may close up and he be
thrown out Of position.
Will, being newly married, does not
groWl at his wife nor forget to kiss her;
hut he goes about looking a prey to
green and yellow melancholy: he
deVours the papers, and can enumerate
every failure that has occurred between
Canada and the Gulf Of Mexico. the At
lantic and Pacific coasts. If he could
regulate matters according to his ideas
OF 1.-THE eternal fitness of things" he
would terminate all financial difficulties
by grand I" smash-up"-- Just as child
rem always end their stage. coach "
stories; all the failures should happen
at once; and everybody should iail;
ihen ne would inaugurate a plague,
mat should destroy oDe-half the popu-
latisn-including all the lazy, the wick
cd, and the children-aud having done
that, the other half should recommence
business with fair show in the world.
But, as the Almighty has not made him
adeputy'controller in the affairs of this
country, he will probably not have a
chance to " out-Herod HerOd." nor TO
revise financial matters upon his pecu-
Gar basis.
" Failures will go on; and men will
continue to read about them. and growl