The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1878-06-08
All Sorts.

How to get along in the world
Walk.
Dropping a privateer--Weeping
In secret.
Drawiug-room--A dentists apart
m6nt.
Likely to produce a "smile"-The
bell-punch.
Railroad depose-Turning out the
superintendent.
Dead sea fruit-The apple of .
blind mans eye.
To make n monkey wrench, feed
him on green apples.
Woman tempted man to eat; but
he took to drink himself.
A hanging scrape--Gettiug the
walls ready for repapering.
The scales of Justice are for the
weigh of the transgressor.
When is a young lady like a
whale when she's pouting.
Artichokes are good for rheuma-
tism, and hearty jokes for dyspepsia.
A good school book, like dress
shirt bosom, should he well studded.
"There is q skeleton in every
HORSE" is the way the little boy read
it.
You can't plant cats too early, nor
is it possible to get too many in q
hill.
Song of the Seed for the Season of
the Yearf-"Put me in my little
bedw
"Pm taking cold, you give me
snch u breeze" is the latest slang
phrase.
A little boys first pair of trowsers
always fit, if the pockets are deep
enough. ~
Love is like the whooping cough,
q more dangerous disease the older
you grow.
To the clergy in America--Satan
does not intend to take any vacation
this summer.
On bringing up her boy the moth
er seemed to understand how to raise
her Eoenezer.
Song of the baker-T kneed tlIec
every hour" The first note of the
song is dough.
Elijah was not a vain man, yet
history relates that he was taken up
with his clothes
Zone swallow does not make the
spring." That depends upon how
hot the coffee is.
The best kind of clothes for even
ing wear are bed-clothes, aud you
should get into them early.
Mrs. Darlington, reading of the
strike of the wire drawers, remarked:
"Ah, me, what new tangled things
won't they wear next !"
A GAINESVILLE man has written q
life of the devil. The last three
chapters comprise ten years biog-
raphy of his mother-in-law.
And now they say William Penn
would sit down under a tree with
Indians about him, and, telling them
of the better world beyond the sea,
deal himself four aces and win the
game.
An old lady has become disgusted
with ahnanacs. She says if all the
people in the country were to stop
buying almanacs, "maybe the prin-
tiers who make 'em would put in
some total eclipses of the sun and
moon, and some transits of Venuses
that would be visible here"
The owner of Nashville street
railroad tried to ride on one of his
cars last week for nothing, and the
driver "bouncedr him. The driver,
who had read that story about the
great warrior and the infexible SEN
tincl, expected to be prompted, but
is now looking for job.
1t makes u suffering man awful
mad to he drawn into a discussion
about the RECOMMENDATION of the dol
lar of our fathers, and the "necessity
of an incontrovertible bi-metalic
currency" He may be just BURST
ing with ideas, but the flow of Ian
guage in the title of the bill is what
throws him.
Bishop Ames tells a story Of
slave master in Missouri, in the olden
time of negro yassalage, who said
to his chattel: "Pompy, | hear you
are great preacher" Yes, massa,
de Lord do help me powerful some
times" swell, Pompy, don't you
think the negroes steal little things
on the ulaufatis,u ~ Ise mighty