Litchfield enquirer., 1878-09-26
CLIPPINGS.
A galley slave-a ships cook.

The cucumber does its best fighting after it's down.
 During the seige, Paris subsisted on horse flesh. Now it lives on strangers.
 If Fall Rivers good men are so bad, what must the bad ones be. Kearney's father should have ''pooled his issue, ,"-that is have drownded him. Jupiter is the biggest pill in the planetery box just now, fguratively speaking.> Any man pays too much for his whistle who has to wet it, fifteen or twenty times day. When gamblers fail to agree, they pour Hoyle on the troubled waters.
 The man who dies therichest is the one who leaves the least here and takes the most with him. There are narrow -guage railroads and broad guage railroads, but a mortgage covers them all.
 ''I don't like that cat it's got splinters in his l feet" was the excuse of four-year-6ld for | throwing the kitten away. "Whither thou geest, I ghost" is what | Hamlet said to the naturalization of hls de- parted prOgenitor Glove is an external transport !' exclaimed | an enthusiastic poet. 'SO is a canal-boa said practical old forwarding merchant 'sNothing but leaves" said Eve, pleasantly, when Adam praised the taste shown in her new polonaise.
 o Cincinnati is becoming great musical city. We print this as an inducement for all owners of hand organs to go West. l One of the early Buddhist kings was doubt less given to kissing the wine cup. He was Asoka, and lived 250 years B. c. Ben. Butler boldly announces himself green packer. He does this to draw peoples atten- l tion from their silverware. You may talk about the 'lean and hungry | Cassius," but did you ever take side view of a man who has run store for ten years with out advertising.
 ''The Unkindest Cut of All": The Ma i jor-"Would you advise me to have these few hairs in front cut off?" Haircutter-"U-m Well, sir, should 'esitate before sacrificed my honly tournament! Agricultural papers are always harping on the intelligence of bees, but the drove of mos quitoes which wait at the key hole until the family are in bed are passed over as sighting | ly as you please.
 The communication in which the words Faults as hel" occur is deemed too exciting for this column, and has been referred to our Sunday School man, who has his false, but we love him still.
 There would be more saloons in this town" said native, as the train slowed north through Montgomery, eff it wasn't for one thing" And what is that ?' asked the tourist s'Aint any more houses," replied the native; and the tourist opened his note book and remained ab- sorbed in thought. 1 The town of Albert Lea, Minnesota, has es- capped all the hailstorms and tornadoes this summer, and is far beyond the reach of the | yellow fever; but last week it was visited bv I a young man who is learning to play the tuba. | Up to date there is no abatement of the fear
 full scourge.
 It costs twenty cents to bring barrel of flour from Chicago to Boston, and twenty-five cents to take it from the railroad station to your store or house. This shows that wicked monopolies do not rob the poor man of all the | A teacher in Greenock during the Bible les son, when speaking about Cain and Abel, ask ed one of his scholars, "Where did Gain 20 after he killed Abel?" s'He went to bed sir.
 was the reply. ''Went to bedi Where do you get that information ?" said the teacher.
 Its in the chapter, sir that Cain, after he had
 killed Abel, went to the land of Nod"
 Some people do not understand how news papers manage to print pictures of murderers
 so soon after the murder takes place. Although
 1t is secret of the business, we must be gen erous to our readers and say that all the cuts | of proprietors of patent medicines that come
 into newspaper office are saved.
 Dean Ramsay told story of a young man, sitting opposite to the clergyman, in the front of the gallery, who had been up late on the previous night, and he had stuffed the pack of cards with which he had been occupied into his coat pocket. Forgettingthe circumstance, he pulled out his handkerchief, and the cards flew about the church The minister looked at him and remarked, "Eh, mon, your Psalm bulk has been ill bund."