Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1878-02-02
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.

luz l<ih Pitoo W A'b'''" - - b 49,
seamstress.
A Chicago man named his ninth
child Quit.
Colonel Pound of Dakota has
passed weigh.
The man who had project on foot
went to corn doctor.
o. Lord is the name Of resident
of Oakland, California.
There we're 1, 900 polygamous mar
riages in Utah last year.
A man with cold applied at the
rink for IA sneeZin' ticket.
In Portugal royal edict forbids
widows above fifty to marry.
Motto for defaulting cashier
"a chiefs amang We takin' notes"
Let man restore order within
himself and chaos without ceases.
Miss Weatherhog of Quebec has
just got rid of her name in the usual
way.
Vanity keeps persons in favor with
themselves, who are out of favor with
all others.
Nothing will ever be attempted if
all possible objections must be first
overcome.
The best mathematics-That which
doubles the most joys and divides the
most sorrows.
The first book read, and the last
book laid aside by every child, is the
conduct of its parents.
Indolence Is stream which flows
slowly on, but vet undermiDes the
foundation of every virtue.
Pocket-books for ladies have a
watch set in one side. This is to
show how fast the money goes.
1t has been found that in nearly
every civilized country the tree that
bears the most fruit for the market
is the axletree.
A "blasted Britisher," lately arrived
in Boston, bit off mans thumb. He
came unquestionably from Gnaw
,thumberland.
Mexico is lazy country, but the
sight of drove of Texas cattle will
fill Mexican with the enterprise of
fruit tree peddler.
Senator Oglesby of Illinois has
transferred his affections from the
blood stained greenback to the bat
tered dollar of the dads.
The only thing Sunday school
boy could remember remarkable
about Moses was that he broke all the
Ten Commandments at once.
A young fellow wants to know
show to win woman's love-" Kiss
the baby, caress the cat, and pay
strict attention to the old lady.
Brigham Young, according to the
Spiritualists, is having an aristocratic
time of it in the other world. He has
his birthstone sent to his room.
When man and woman are made
one, the question is, (which one"
Sometimes there is struggle be-
tween them before the matter is set
tied.
"What is conscienceY" asked
school master of his class. "An in
ward MONITOR" replied a bright little
fellow. "And what is a monitors"
"One of the ironclads."
The thoughtful young lover is now
troubled in his mind as to whether he
ought to "chip io" and help buy the
wood to be used in the parlor stove
at the home of his girl.
A young man sent 90 cents to
firm in Michigan who advertised a
receipt to prevent bad dreams. He
received slip of paper on which was
written, "Don't go to sleep"
"No one can draw my husband
out but just myself" she remarked.
1t was subsequently ascertaincd that
he got drunk every Saturday night,
and she drew him out of adjacent
an gin-mill.
"Aren't they nice9" she asked,
pointing to several pieces of deco
rated pottery. "You see I've got the
rage" "Well, WE'LL" exclaimed an
old lady. $50 you've got their age!
How old are they2"
A lassie wrote to young man she
had taken a fancy to, "Come and
meet me in the cleaning, John" and
when the time came John wasn't
there. He subsequently explained
that no couldn't find such place.