Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1878-05-24
Humorous.

. Food for .epentance-Mince pie eat
. EN- late at night.
Mr.. Tilda's clay, we are informed,
!, is in the hands of the Potter. So glad
it is not in he hands Of the llndertak-
J. cr
/ There vii be some comfort in listen
ing to the monograph; 1t can't button
hole you and its breath will not be bad.
! a Washington paper says: "This
! Office is clBel for repairs. The Hon.
David Davis dropped in on us yester-
day."
j, The averageage Of circus joke is 100
, years. One ded III Washington, last
week, at the advanced age Of 49,
The differere between n COW and a
mllkman is tht the former gives pure
/ milk. This may be chalked down as a
fact.
A toast at ~ Irish society ut Green
wich--" Here'sto the President of our
society. May he live to ate the hen
that scratches over his grave"
When we wee n boy we were inclined
to the creed tlat muskrat excursion
was the muslratifying sport in the
world Yonker Gazette.
What is the difference between con
gress and u highly educated poodle?
Answer; The poodle can do anything
bat talk.-New York World
Fame Is tardy in reaching some men;
but if the man IS deserving, it is bound
to strike him sooner or later. A Berks
county editor has mad blue and red
canal boat named after him. -N0yYistou,,
| Horah
Old Deacon Dobson always boosted
that he was prepared for the worst, ;"
and his neighbors though he got it when
he married his second wife.
The heaviest snorer we have heard of
is the man up town whose wife woke
him up, during tempest, saying she
did wish lie would stop snoring, for she
wanted to hear the thunder.
He went three squares after what he
thought was II street-car light; and, after
ne got out of breath, he lay down on
the doorstep, Disguised to find out that
it was only II lightning-bug on his spec
tacles.
Impartial minister (who wishes
to know all about his parisionersl-I
"Then do j understand you that your
aunt is on youl fathers side, or your
mother'sY Country lad" Zometimes
one an sometimes the other ceptin
when feyther wnacks 'em both, sir.
When the Pam had glided into what
the reporter usually calls her " native
element" johnny Roach slapped Ruth
erford in the back and cried, "Of
all my beauties, there's the Para-gone!"
They tell of an amateur sportman in
Dayton. Ohio, who, having heard that
there was nm unusual abundance OF
mushrooms in the woods, borrowed Il
dog and took gun and started to kill
some.
Edison's photograph ca.l whistle,
sing howl and jaw, but it can't throw IL
stone ut Il yowing cat on the back fence.
or kick u chrome agent OFT the front
stoop. There is still lots of room for
They are going to have an artificial
Niagara Falls ut the Paris exposition;
but unless an American is charged $15
for looking at it, and has his pocket
picked by II hackman, lie will full to re-
cognize it,
Brown tried to quarrel with his
the other evening. He
married the eldest of seven girls. Said
she, Brown, my boy, I'm not going to
ruin my reputation by quarrellng with
you. Wait till all the girls are married.
At present, as II mother-in-law, I'm only
an amateur"
An innocent young woman entered
dry goods store tho other day and asked
for u pair ofstockings. The clerk polite
~ asked her what number she wore.
Why, two, you fool! Do you think
am centipede, orthat have wooden
leg?"
A lecture on Pompey-Eyeo was an
nounced from tile pulpit OF Kansas
town, and when the lecturer got UP ana
began talking about " Pom-pdy-ee, the
congregation rose up and went to the
doors and demanded its money back.
An Elko Chinaman went home intox-
cated, and was met Mt the door by ms
wife. who dubbed him numerically. A
passer-by remarked; John, your wife
heap fight "Ies, he replied, she too
muchee sabee. she live long side Nell
can woman tlee month
An editor apoogzed to his readers at
ter this fashion: I'VE expected to have
death and marriage to publish this
week, but violentstorm prevented the
wedding, and the doctor being sick him
self, the patient recovered, and we are
accordingly cheated out Of both.
The name of the photograph in Ger
man is Observation-Disclosures