The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-01-08
The Man Who Talked too Much.

IL
III very softly and, when the girl asked
him what he wanted, he replied:
Corned beef fried potatoes, pickles
and mince pie.''
This is not restaurant; this Is an
ice-cream parlor," she said.
"Then why did you ask me what j
wantedY Why don't you bring on
your ice-cream Y'
She went after it, and, as she return
ed, he continued:
"You see, my dear girl, you must in
fer-you must reason. 1t isn't likely
that would come into an ice-cream
parlor to buy a grindstone, is it You
didn't think L came in here to ask il
you had any baled hay, did you ?"
She looked at him in great surprise,
and he went on:
eff / owned hardware store, and
you came in, / would infer that you
wanted something in my line. would
not step out and ask if you wanted to
buy mule, would ?"
She went away highly indignant
An old lady was devouring plate of
cream at the next table, and the stran-
ger, after watching her few moments,
called OUT
My dear woman, have you found
any hairs or buttons in your dish P'
Mercy, mol" she exclaimed, as she
wheeled around, and dropped her
spoon.
well, I'm glad of it," he continued.
I" If you find any, just let me know"
She looked at him for half minute,
picked up her spoon, laid it down again
and then rose and left the room. She
must have said something to the propri-
etor, for he came running in and ex-
claimed
{" Did you tell that woman that there
were hairs and buttons in my ice
cream ?''
"No, SIR"
"You didn't ?''
mo, sir,I did not 1 merely requested
her, in case she found any such ingre-
dients, to inform me.'
"Well, sir, that was a mean trick.''
| M Sulu CD6 bUTdUReI,
smiling softly, " did you expect me to
ask the woman if she found q crow-bar
or sledge hammer in her cream ? tits
impossible, sir, for such articles to hide
in such a small dish"
The proprietor went away growing,
and, as the stranger quietly slipped away
at his cream, two young ladies came in,
sat down near him, and ordered some
cream and cake. He waited till they
had eaten a little, and then remarked
" Beg pardon, ladies, but do you OBJ
serve anything peculiar in the taste of
the ice-cream ?''
They tasted, smacked their lips, and
were not exactly certain.
"Does it taste to you as if a plug OF
tobacco had fallen into the freezer Y'' he
asked.
"Ah! Bah ~ they exclaimed, and
tried to spit out what they had eaten
Both rushed out, and it wasn't long be-
fore the proprietor rushed in.
" See here, what in blazes are you
talking about 2" he demanded. What
do you mean by plug tobacco in the
| freezer!"
my kind friend, asked those ladies
if this ice-cream tasted of plug tobacco.
don't taste any such taste and don't
believe that you put bit of plug tobac-
co in it."
swell, you don't want to talk that
way around here" continued the pro-
prietor. MY ice-cream is pure, and
the man who says it is not, is bold
liar ~
He went away again, and woman
with long neck and sad face sat
down and said to the girl that she would
take small dish of lemon ice-cream.
1t was brought, and she took about
two mouthfuls, when the stranger in
quired:
" Excuse me, madam, but do you
know how this cream was made have
you any idea that they grated turnip
and chalk with the cream 2"
She didn't reply. She slowly rose up,
wheeled around and made for the door.
The stranger followed after. BY great
luck his coat-tails cleared the door an
instant too soon to be struck by five
pound box of figs, hurled with great
force by the indignant proprietor. AS
he reached the curb-stone he halted,
looked at the door of the parlor, and
soliloquized: ie'
There are times when people should
infer, and then there are times when
they shouldn't suppose II / had
asked that woman If she thought they
hashed up saw-mill In the cream !,
she'd have felt circular saw going
down her throat.n