The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1878-03-02
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

The kankakec Gasettc devotCs column TO an
uncharitablc critique Of the sweet singer OF
Michigan. For instance, here is how the critic
lays his sacrilcgcous hand on the affecting cicSy
Of Johnny Robinson:
Jonny's brother went to California
For to bring him back again,
But oh! he went too late"
For johnny, in his anxiety to get home, thought
III he came home in a smoking car,
His money would hold out.
But he died on the way home,
all alone,
In a car with no one near"
Now we would like TO know where the conduc-
tor, or brakeman, or the everlasting peanuts"
vast This ought to be investigated,
stupidity, What was there to dctan pea
nuts" or the conductor in a car alone with a
young man so hopclcssly impccunious?
The train between Boston and one Of its sub
urbs on which the school girls ride is called the
"firtation train"
Miss Won Hllcrn says she "hatcs awfully TO
have women kiss her" Sorry we can't agree
with you there, Bertha.
Gail Hamilton began losing his hair and being
advised to use kerosene, soon discarded the
sinking stuff, but by persistent amounting with
raw onion got new, vigorous growth OF a
slightly reddish color.
Is there a helly-Eccy Eychdngc 1w get. So
help us gracious we don't know; we haven't got
one, ANYHOW Ask somebody in Ottawa or Dan
ylc.-ha,4takre Gazette
What kind of religious teaching must that be
that dcudes you with the notion that there is no
hell in Kankakce? You had better join some
other church,
An Ohio schoolmastcr marked pretty girl pu-
oil nine in the examination in chemistry, al
though her real grade was six, and wanted her
10 kiss him as Il rccompensc. She told her moth
or and now the school-mastcr is in trouble
The Chinese in Carson, New, had a ball. Zip
Yong was the belle. At midnight two Cinnamon
entered the hall, seized her, and carried her off
All Song started to rescue her, and was instantly
killed by a pistol shot The belle has not been
found
Ali Senator Burnside is the man! He has an
invention to prevent horse from switching his
'ail over the lines. That's genius, that is, and
let's help to feed the flame.
The Brooklyn Argus wants to annex Canada
''Ou inc SlN, anu lHtll We VAL iou
Of our rascals ut one swoop. Good gracious.
What can they want with four hundred more
rascals in Brooklyn!
Speaking Of the Black Hills editors as poker
players, the Dcadwood Miner says; "lf fence
rail was to be put up as blind, the editors are
50 poor that not one Of them could straddlc it,
Stanley! And what is there to boast of in going
through little strip of Central Africa, compared
with the scientific skill and adroitness Of the
managers of the Frccdmcn's savings bank in $50.
ing through Africa?
"A brick in the wall is worth two in the hat"
SAYS the experienced Worcester Press para
graphcr
AT Rockford" says the Register, 'thc trees
are almost ready to burst into leaf at the west
end" Rockford trees must be peculiar. About
here they generally burst into leaf ut the upper
end
The country Is agitatcd over the question
whether the ground hog saw his shadow Candle
mas day The authorities differ widely, and We
submit the matter TO the Board Of Supervisors
NoJ1DitoE Dam.
Around mere he certainly saw his shadow If he
came out, Us it was a bright, sunny day; but if
be went back again he is having a pretty warm
time OF IT,