The Arizona sentinel., 1878-05-18
ARIZONA SENTINEL.
How Grief--Stricken Parent
Bought a Coffin.


| The customer was strap GER and as he
sat down on a coffin-box he dropped his
arms on his knees, put his fingers togeth-
err, and his head forward in a bargaining
way that forearmed the transfer agent for
the coming struggle.
"pm poor, very poor" the first line of
| skirmiShers in the attack-"Ive scarcely
enough to carry the poor boy home that
his mother may take one last look at her
| idols face"-sniffies making the first col
umn Of the advance corps-"I ask you,
sir, to pity my condition, and do the best
| you can for me-"
That grave-faced undertaken shook the
strangers hand, and in frienzied and pro-
fessiOnal sympathy, and, in husky tones,
said, as he turned a pine coffin to show its
soundness: "Here's pretty one; strong
wood, elegant polish, soft lining, and III
put it, sir, TO you below cost-$18"
Cant pay it, sir, can't pay it'-disap-
pearance of agitation. There's knot
there, and you see the pillow is soiled. It's
too dear entirely"
They fought sharply and fiercely and
the undertaken fell back to fifteen dollars,
swearing it was giving the case away.
"Well, you will pack it in ice for that, l
suppose:" said the generous, grief-stricken
parent.
"Great grave close, no! 1t will cost
three do lars to pack it in ice at the lowest
figure"
Hostilities were resumed, and the fight
waXed hot, but the threat of seeking an
other coffin dealer forced the undertaken
back to fifteen dollars for coffin and pack
ing.
Well" said the poor sufferer, ''rm too
poor to luXuriate in ice, so we won't pack
him. That puts the coffin at twelve dol
lars"
"NO, stree, it DON'T
But you said the packing cost three
dollars, and taking that from fifteen dol
lars leaves twelve dollars"
"But-"
"You wouldn't swindle poor, anguish
smitten father:"-he capped the interro-
gatiye with tears, and the undertaken gave
in.
"The coffin has no handles" said the
parent, blowing his nose.
"Of course not"
Well, can't take it, then"
"Why, man." cried the exasperated
dealer, the handles are worth one dollar
and fifty ccntsn'
"You must throw them in, or I'll throw
up the trade"
But pve already lost five dollars by
this bargain"
Cant help 1t. VIII you not pity my
poverty?"
The handles were thrown in at twelve
dollars for the ring.
The purchaser paused and mcditated,
and the salesman'S face wore puzzled
"what-neXt" look
"Pm too proud, too eXtravagant," mus
ed the parent. "What matter pomp and
show over the dead? Away with vanity!
| won't take the handles" To the under
taker: "Take off $3.50; I won't take the
handles"
"What?" screamed the coffin man.
Mildly and logically the parent put it.:
You gave Inc the coffin and handles for
$12. You said, moreover, that the hand
les, were worth $3.50 I don't want the
handles, and that makes the coffin $1,000
If you say, now, SO for the coffin, I'll take
it." "No!n "Then, adicu, sir, adieu. l
will go where poor smitten father. too
deep in sorrow for business, can find one
who will not take advantage Of his situa-
ton. Adieu, sir"
stop! stop. take it," called the coffin
man. ats ruinous, but you can have it."
Then the parent pulled out his wallet
most plethoric, smiled sadly, and paid over
his SO to the conquered bridesmaid
Memphis Avalanche.