The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-03-07
Mr.. Janson as a PhilanthrOphist.
breakfast Table, ,

Mr.. Janson. has come to an under
standing with himself on one matter,
and that is that he will walk the streets
with a shaved head and banner in his
hand superscribed "Lunatic," before
he will again endeavor to render kind
ness to drunken man.
One day last weeka man so drunk
that he couldn't look up without falling
down, came Hopping into his place Of
business hurrahing for party by the
name of Hiram, whom he claimed to
have seen. Mr.. Janson felt much dis
tressed to see the man in so sad plight,
as he knew him to belong to very re-
spectacle family. He tried to quiet the
unfortunate inebriate, and persuade
him to lie down in the back room until
he was sobered up sufficiently to go
home. But no, sir; he wouldn't do it.
He was all right, and the man who said
he was drunk was zig-zagaty liar.
He had money enough to pay his way
(pulling out roll of bills) and didn't
ask no favors of anybody. He had
just dropped in to shake hands as a
friend and didn't propose to be insulted,
etc., etc. He then "corkscrewed
around over the room, vibrating from
one article of furniture to another un.
til he stepped on his knee, tripped up
and fell down, striking his head against
a projection, cutting an ugly cash and
knocking himself senseless. Mr.. Jan
son and his assistants bathed his head
with cold water, and in short time re
stored him to consciousness. The treat
ment sobered him little and be begged
Mr.. J. to put him on a street-car anc
send him home. That humane gentle
man took him by the arm and set forth
to comply with the request, but i
proved no easy undertaking. To keel
the man from tumbling down every tel
or fifteen feet was one of the most diff
| cult things Mr.. j. ever tried to do. TIL,
attention elected from the passers-b,
was also very embarrassing to modes
man, and the frequent remarks tina
came to the ear of Mr.. J. convinced hin
in very short order that he was not re
ceiving much credit for being philan
thropic. as.
I" A nice pair, they are," said an oil
lady. Both SO drunk they can hardl.
"Shockingj dreadful!" remarked an
other lady, al she drewin her skirts AM
lodged to one side to avoid a collision
Those beastly men should be taken t
the station-house. People that can
| walk straight shouldn't be allowed o.
| the streets" - s.. : $3.50.
+" How sad-bow disgusting! Oh VIII,
will men make such beasts of them
selves? said silvery- haired ministe
to gentleman at his elbow. s
! "And what hardened, depraved-look
ing wretches they are, toop returne'
his companion. F S g.
Il say, cullyP' roared one bootblacl
to another across the street, "see then
two boozers, will youP' 7-. 81"
"Ho-ho! Watch 'em-see zen
carom on the box. A nice pair to dra,
to, they is" came back from the other
Mr.. Janson's face.was all on fire wit
shame and Indignation. The idea O
his being taken for drunken man
He, one of the staunchest pillars in tn
blue ribbon cause.
By this time they had reached tn
corner, and while waiting for the car t
como up the drunken man slipped lik
an eel from Mr.. Janson, and embrace
the lamp post, resting his chin on tn
letter-box, with his hat showed bacl
hair down over his eyes, tobacco juic
streaming over his chin, and bloc
oozing down the side of his face. II
was sad, pitiable spectacle, and th
heart of the philanthropist ached as b
looked upon the wreck of once brigh
manhood, and thought of the pain an
shame that would come to the wife an
little ones when he arrived at hom,
Mr.. Janson tried hard to break th
mans hold upon the post and get hiI
down to the car, but Ending that hop,
less, he resorted to persuasion. Will
at this stage of the proceedings coupl
of well-dressed ladies swept by, and on
of them remarked to the other in a ton
that reached Mr.. Us ear, and shocke
him to the marrow: gar
"See that poor, miserable drunke
man. Some one has been fighting him.
eyes, and look at that dreadful
looking rowdy trying to entice hi1
away" said her companion. cts m
opinion he'sa terrible rascal, and wants
coax him away into an alley or som
place where he can rob him. I think W
had better speak to the first policema
we see about it. !" z
"Quite right" returned the othel
"That man has hardened, wicked fac'
and looks as though he wouldn't hes
tate to commit any crime"
1 Mr.. Janson didn't wait TO hear an
further remarks, but left the man
take care of himself, and with a crushed
subdued feeling returned to his shol
determined lhenceforth to be seen n
more in bad company under any circun
stances. y s6as