The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1878-01-10

10. 1878.
parts near the wings. So in this case.
When the Manitoban hurled "cOus-
in Fred into the midst of Steb's di-
gestive organs, Bedlam broke loose at
once. ''Our Dan" rushed Savarely
forward and demanded the Manito-
bans reasons for such an act. The
Manitoban knocked him down. The
weak-mlnded man proposed three
cheers for ''our Dam John Nor
rish floored the Manitoban. Then
followed a free fight. The Irish
against the English. Teddy took ad-
vantage of the confusion to hit John
Kennedy resounding wilack over the
head with yard-stick, and then lodged
in among the legs Of the crowd with
John in hot pursuit. Byers. who re-
garded Charley Baker as II sort of ri
val for senatorial llonors. knocked
that worthy gentleman down, under
the pretence that he thought he was
an 1rishman. In the middle of the
crowd the Irish and the English were
| piled on top of each other in inextri-
cable confusion, while from the mass
issued the mingled war cries Of the
nations: erin go bragh'' and "Old
England forever while the Ameri-
cans and Germans stood around and
cheered them indiscriminately. How
the fight might have terminated be-
tween those well matched combatants
it is difficult to say, but in the midst
of the nproar the sound of brass
band was heard. the doors flew open
and the cry echoed through the store:
| Whoever shall these boots displace,
| Shall meet Bombastes face to face,
| Sound, trumpets, sound!"
And hegreat Commissioner of Ag-
riculture marched in, followed by a
negro bearing plate.
whats that - asked the General,
looking at the sqnirming and with
ing mass on the floor.
THAT said Emery, sis the irre-
pressible conflict"
THAT said Lowell. who had en-
tered as spectator lis discussion
Of the principles Of the Peoples Par
ty.'
ssWhat does it all meant asked the
commissioner of Agriculture.
"It means,' said Kennedy. ''that
the Irish and the English are set
tling the question as to who shall
control the Peoples Party
"Come! get up" said the General,
this is disgracefnl." And he pro.
ceeded to disentangle the combatants
and set them on their feet.
| 'sNow," he said. II demand the At
tention of the convention. 1 have
brought here present of iEestimable
value. l concluded to forgive you fol
your incredulity, as to the success oi
!. my great scheme Of crossing the tur
key and the hog, and l have brough,
you one of my $500 kids. 1t isn't oft
en- such set Of God-forsaken hewgag.
as you are can feast on $500 kid
but great men can afford to be mag
unanimous. Sambo uncover -
With this Salnbo uncovered tn,
, plate and disclosed about ten pouud
Of Gark-lOoking meat, ostensibly fresh
and worth about five cents per pound
This" said the general, "is a kid
cashmere kid,-with a pedigree
: Its mother was Susan B. Anthon,
crossed by Bill King; it's grand dan
} was Martha Washington, its gram
sire was Alexander the Great; it
great-grand-dam was DIR. Mary Walk
? er crossed by the Angel Gabriel. It
pedigree does it 60 beyond the Ange
Gabriel"
| ..God knows that's far enough,
growled Lowell. n
And now, gentlemen" continue,
the General, .'having made you thi
1 valuable present, permit me to ash
5 what is all this row about! hav
: not much time to spare. lam bus
making my arrangements to take on
of our Minnesota -four mills to til
q Paris Exposition, and / have eng
/ neers at work to ascertain how mucl
it will cost to move the st. Anthon
water power over there also. So b
ITnick, and let me understand Why tn
} convention has fallen into such III
scemiy disorder. When first locke
in ! thought it was Congress discus
ing Rnthy's policy.
Here our Dan, his frontispiece ba,
ly damaged, stated that the fight ha
commenced by the ManitOban knocl
ing him down. The General Gale
on the Manitoban to explain. TIL;
gentleman. his clothes badly tor,
proceeded as follows:
General" said he. sswe were au
city discussing the principles OF tt
Peoples Party and trying TO agree u
n on platform satisfactory to all Il
diverse interests and nationaliti
represented here, when miserab
little skalawag. q cousin Of this ma
began to boast Of the superiority
the English race and the fnferiori,
% Of the Irish, aud wound up with Il
y slang phrase, 50 often used in Kno,
e Nothing advertisements, mo Iri!
le need apply Now, General, til
e. may seem to you like . slight matte
q But We, Irish, come Of ! race TIL
Q has been plundered and persec
=, ted Tor seven hundred years by f0
E etgners; every acre Of land in o,
~ country has been cOn6scated thr,
y times over BY different English d
g nastieS our language, our lifoFatur
- our religion, our laWD, have been n