Smyrna times., 1878-12-25
SMYRNA DEL WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON, DECEMBER 25 1878


diality.
"Thank the fatesr' exclaimed to my
worried soul.
filled vcry large dish, heaping it till it
run over, and handed it to him. And
my guest was helped to all had to offer,
one potato, a small piece of bakers bread, |
and tomatoes enough for five people. |
watched him make a beginning, by break |
ing the potato. This was hardbaked, SO |
that when he turned the meat out of the |
thick she'll, had to acknowledge to myself |
that it would not survive more than two |
or three passes of knife and fork. Then |
what should do? What could offer him? |
l watched till l saw his plate empty, |
swept and garnished. Then | said,-
Mr.. S. do take some more mutton"
pretending not to know that he had de- |
clincd it.
! don't know which amused me more at
this point, the embarrassment of the guest,
or Of the host.
:" DON'T AMI haven't thank-I
have had-nOt any more, thank you-l
mean n"-stammered Mr.. S., as though con-
iugating some irregular verb. Very red
in the face he was, and growing more con-
fused every moment.
g You forget, my dear, that Mr.. S. does
biverouS ami | mean that he is not
meat-eat- that he is somewhat peculiar
that he is a vegetarian. That's the word
I'm after" said the kind man Of the house,
likewise very red in the face.
"Ihen have some more bread, | urged,
looking entirely o0livious of the fact that
the slice he had helped himself to was
lying by his plate intact.
He stammered again that he had, and
he hadn't; that he did, and he didn't;
| that, indeed, he was bountifully supplied.
There was now nothing to offer but the
| tomatoes, and there was enough in his dish
for three good eaters But something must
be done to keep the hospitable ball rolling.
SO advanced the general dish of tomatoes,
studlously bent on not seeing his individual
dish, from which he was eating at that mo-
ment. | never shall forget the hunted
look that came into his face. He almost
choked himself in his precipitate explana-
! tion.
But my ammunition was expended.
There was nothing left for me now but to
harass myself about that peach pudding
which was the first pastry Of any descrip
ton had ever attempted. What would it
look like? How would it taste? Would
it shrink by cooking into another little
stingy affair? Would it get done in time
But, at length, dismissed all these an xious
questionings by deciding, that no matter if
it should prove to be the queen of puddings,
that ridiculous vegetarian would no sooner
eat it than he would lizard.
In due time, | excused myself from the
table, as | had no servant, to dish the
pudding | could not if | would, and
would not if could, describe the appear.
ance which that article presented. AT the
present advanced status of my culinary edu
cation, | could tell, if | chose, what the
trouble was with that pudding; but
never will torture could not force the
moiuS operandi from me.
Oh course, | decided against serving the
; peach-pudding. But l had announced {
dessert. Should | return to the dining
room and explain, or abscond and leave
the guest to make another course on toma
toes? Sick and worried as | was, my sens,
OF the humorous suggested at the mOmen
| the anecdote of the English-speakingge gentle
man, who went to dine at hotel wher
;; the blls-ot-fare were in French, and wher
the walters spoke that language. In hi
perpleXity, he decided to begin at the to-
of the sheet, and eat straight ahead, witt
no skipping, until his hunger should be AZ
e peased. He accordingly pointed to tn
l first words on the bill; the waiter re
sponded by furnishing him dish of souI
$ This disposed of, he ordered, in pantomimt
} the second item; the result was a secon
} dish OF soup. This was politely eaten, an
i the third article on the bill indicated; tn
@ smiling waiter placed before the eccentri
IS gentleman a third plate of soup.
o Patience!" thought the guest, when h
had forced the third instalment. L
q begin at the bottom, now, and procee
E. backwards
"This," he said, pointing to the last itel
u on the page. The servant darted away, an
, in a moment returned, and, wonderin
a. doubtless, how the gentlemans dim,
10 could make such a thing necessary,
tremendously deposited a tooth.pick.
u Returning to my dining-room, in a sta
r. of feeling swinging between laughter ar
a tears, l acknowledged the pudding failur
IL and stammered some words of apology
the dinner in general.
ee, "Serves him right |" said the host, talil
ia la my part, and slapping his friend on Il
IL shoulder with the abandon of their be
hood days; "a man who refuses to e
IT. good boiled mutton ought to e''-
. do not know in what dreadful way
te would have ended his sentence, had n
ie- interrupted
'e' "And the man who could invite friel
," to dinner, and then discuss rocks, and
ne plants, and bugs, and snakes, for two NOR
hours in the same house with his wife, q
III not give her warning, so that she mig
:, prepare the fatted calf, to honor -
'lu What would have been the use2" I
d" host interrupted; "he would not ha
'ne eaten of the fatted calf; he would have p
ne ne ferred the husks. Never mind He'll
ell, here to tea, and you may give him so
my Graham mush. We're going out to lo
for crinoids, for an hour or two, and v
ght come back hungry.
Five years later, while on a visit to {
am cinnati, met my first guest. He had
pom forgotten that dinner at my house.
-, I" Here's my dinner for today" he 81
D! drawing from his pocket a little par
>, He opened the paper and showed
~, Graham crakers.
OF "Well, please don't invite me to
, with you," | said.
ace, John Sherman is exceedingly ha
we over the fact that gold is now at par,
rdly his satisfaction is increased by numeI
that kilograms of congratulation, one am
well them being from a Democratic editor
ater Missouri recantng his former declarat
ex. and saying he will rejoice in seeing
the finances of the country permanently es
over lished on gold basis, as he is now
r of vinced that this is practicable.
to ---s>-
rom Four hundred and thirty-one lots of Sc
ted goods were sold in New York at auc
new last Wednesday by order of the collet
was There was a very large attendance
ould about $4,000 was realized, nearly 81
above the aggregate appraised values.
the ---|ss---
Nothing overcomes passion sooner