Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1878-04-11
Wit and Hzt7710r.

ural picture Ofa hen. that it laid In hi
drawer for three weeks.
There will always be more or less excite
ment in the household that possesses ca
and back fence, or a poor piano and
good healthy girl.-B,idgeport Standard.
A Keokuk dog fell down the Keokul
savings banktstairs and broke his neck
Served him right for going anywhere neal
a savings bank.
The New York Herald asks if there will
be a Chicago Times in heaven, and Til
Times replies: eff heaven wants the news
there will be-"
hotographer-"Now, sir. if you will
look a LITTLE less as if you had a bill to meet
a little more as if you'd been left a legacy
you'll get a picture"
| ''Advice - said an old man of much ex-
perience. ''Why, l never had any one
come to me for advice, who, before lie got
| through, wasn't willing to give twice as
much as he asked for''
GLOW shall we utilize the Ch;nese?' in
| qlires the California Press. We suppose
it never occurred to the Californians to
petlify the Chinese and sell them for tea
store signs.
Young meh. go w'est. &C, 10 Nevada,
where, when you take girl to spelling
school, you have to ride twenty-five miles,
and she expects you to keep your arm
around her all the way.
''Stop sending me the curycr any more
ass you dident notis the bigg hogg me hus-
band buchered sundy and it don't tit my
pantry shelves cnnyhow." The husb-
no, the "hogg' weighed 3s7.
A Nebraska saloon keeper became so at-
fected by the temperance agitation that he
promised to reform; so he put out a sign ::
Owing to the cause of reform. all fifteen
cent drinks will hereafter be sold Tor ten
cents
Don't try to do too mitch. A Main
street man undertook to make his wife
learn to eat with her forl; the other day,
and now he wears a bcefsteak on his eye.
The pathway of the refornler has always
been a good deal like Jordan.-Bycakfas
Table.
\ narrowing catastrophe lately occurred
in Minnesota. where a lover on a fast train
tried to Kiss his sweetheart from the car
platform, but on account of the rapidity of
the trains motion delivered the OSCILLATION
on the lips of an astonishcd Bohemian girl
1T the next station ahead-Chicuqo ,Jouy-
nal.
Youth (wiiK sad, Iove-struek air): ooh!
wilt thou be mine, my own, dear birdie? |
love you deeply. fondly, passionately, Wild
ly! | cannot live without you. Say. oh.
say thou wilt be mine.'' Maiden with
downcast eyes,: .Adolphus. is there any
thing The matter with my dress: SAW the
Smith girls look at me curiously. Is my
hair all right?'
y brother Of Bishop Clark was one of
the wittiest men alive. 1t runs in the fam
ily. lie once went to one of his parishon-
ers, lady with a prodigious family, which
had recently been increased. AS he rose
to leave, the lady stopped him with, ''But
you haven't seen my last baby NO.
he quickly replied, ''and never expect
to - Then he fled.
A gentleman, who is sculptor in fee
BILE way; was calling on lady The other
evening. ''Hew do you manage to get the
right facial expression ?'' she asked. refer
ring to his statuettes. Every simple he
said. Il read poem expressing the pas
sion | desire to portray; then, as my face
expresses rage or love, plunge headfore-
most into mass OF putty have at hand.
This retains the impression, and there you
are.''
a gentleman from a neiShboring ranch
dropped into the Sheridan dining room
and started for cGhyenient seat. The
polite Mr.. lIurd tripped up behind him
and pulled tie chair back to scat him. The
guest started to another table and Mr.. Hurd
repeated his graceful movement. The
guest again changed his mind and Mr..
Hurd patiently followed him. The guest
blushed and hesitatingly inquired: do
you own all these chairs in this room ?''-
Bismarck Tribune.