davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25

Borax is used in the washing, but it
is also used IN starch. 1t stitfens the
starch prevents the iron sticking, and pro-
duces finer finish. 1t should be used
by dissolving half a tablespoonful i'll a lit
tie boiling water. aud mixing it with
about three pints of the starch.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25

Food greatly benefits when gwen
properly at the right periods, but to
overieed the baby is to sicken it, and
induce degrees of suffering. DR.. Bulls
Baby Syrup Is the best remedy for the
discomfort arising from overteeding the
baby Price, 25 cents.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25

Why should one suffer for months or
even years with skin diseases when the
use of safe and simple means would
quickly effect cure. DR.. Bulls Blood
Mixture will rapidly cure all skin diseas-
es and prevent their return.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25
WE LAY US DOWN TO SLEEP.

BY LOUISE CHANDLER MoULToS.
We lay us down to sleep,
And leave to God the rest,
Watcher To wake and weep
Or wake no more be best.
Why veN our souls with carey
The grave is cool and low,-
Have We found III. SO far
That We should dread TO go2
We've kis- ed loves sweet. red lips,
And lett them sweet and red.
Tie rose the Wilt. bee sips
Blooms on when he Is dead.
Some faitiul friends we've found,
But they who love us beet,
When We are under ground,
Will laugh on with the rest.
No task have We begun
But other hands can take;
No work beneath the sun
For which We need 10 wake.
Then hold US fast, sweet death.
If 80 II scCmrih best
To HIM who gives us breath
That We should 60 10 rest.
We lay us down TO sleep.
Our weary eyes We close;
Whether 10 wake and weep
Or wake no more, He knows.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25
ALFRED j. HALL.

ATE CIRCUIT AND PROSECUTING Al
s.cord m Laisyette county, snd in all the stale
aud Federal Courts. Criminal law and coiiec-
tious 3 speciality. Reiers by PERMISSION 70 ,ne
Lexington Savings Bank, Hon. John helu'
I;hslrmsu state Democratic Executive Commit
tee; GOV j. W . Stevenson, U. senator iEolh
Kentucky; b. Il. Ireiant, County lieasuFeaII 81
" siI.rIs Sror. janl6-ly
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25

The greatest OF all benefactors will be
the man who invents species Of fever
and ague, that can hitch itself to a dirty
carpet. Whitehall Times.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25
,o,,S yyr.Sn- AESOPHOS RYLASD,
sSnN - Notary Public
RyIAND s. RYLAND,

TTORNEYS AT LAW, Lexington, No.
A once over No. o., Main street Practice
IN ali tne Courts OF Lafayette aud adIac eouh
ti.. IN the supreme Court OF the STATE an u
.Iis;r,rt Iourt OF the United States prompt
St.eu.iou ~ ;anla
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25
MACHINE POETRY.
EY THE YOUNG LADIES OF THE 3. F. C.

lin the romantic town of Lexington was born,
seventeen years ago. the now acknowledged po-
ct laureate. ii. a. W. WI
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25
RRSnY C. WALLACE. "A- ID eiii-
WALLACE s. CHILES.

TToRNElS AND CoiSSkLLoRS Al
"A Law, Lexington, Mo. Ohce, iront room.
the court house. " Iii practice IN the c"ur's ot W
L.fsv.rte and surrounding counties anu aiso IN IN
the supreme court ol tLe state oi aiissouit, ~ ,,
.ths u - Circuit and District courts Ior tue
HL,i.rn District Uf Missouri.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25

A bottle of tlaxseed oil, chalk and vim
egar mixed to the consistency of cream.
should be kept in every house tor burns,
scaldS etc
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25

Quicksilver beaten up with the white
of an egg. and applied with feather
to every crack and crevlce of a bedstead,
is the very best bug preventive.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25

TTORNEIS AL LAW, oS Mo
s,.i.,. No s.n Main street, over lesis bius
store, VIII practice IN the Lafayette anu ano ..,
ing counties. special attention gwen 10 c'hee'
iSn, snd the Investigation oi land tities-
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25

A small quantity OF turpentine added
to stove backing will make the stove
easier to polish.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25

Make a paste of soft soap and emery
for polishing steel.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25
NOT A MISTAKE

TNHAT GROCERIES, DRY GOODS, BOOTS
l. AND SHOES, QUEENSWARE, STONE
W AXE AND NOTIONS, can be bought as low
rs anywhere in the city, at l3l Dutch Row
Five hundred bushels OF dried APPLES and
PEACHES WANTED.
sept23 JOHN X. JORDAN.
LeNing on, No.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25

A few drops of glycerine in a bottle
OF mucilage will cause the mucllage to
adhere to glass when used upon labels.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25
AN ENGLISH TRIBUTE TO ARTlmus WARD.

We find the following In an old scrap book,
without credit:
The venerable Judge John +. Ryland handed
I'D the following poetic gem the other day. with
the remark that he had clipped it from
English paper, and that it was one of the most
beautiful and appropriate enusions he had ever
read. The judge is himself u classic scholar.
being m ore familiar with the dead and living
languages and the general literature of the
world, probably, Than any professional man III
the west. His long life OF toll in the dry de-
tails OF the law has neither quenched nor weak
"ned his enthusiastic love of the beautiful in lit
erature and art.
He Is among the last of class that is fast
passing away-the profoundly learned. high-
Toned. judicial gentlemen of the Old school. At
more than tire. score his mind Is not only full
OF legal lore, but
Stored with the treasures of the tattling W orld,
And with spice of mirth too
May the judge long live to narrate his pleasing
memories oil the past, and To recite, in his own
inimltable manner. the ''rythmical mum bers'
oil which he Is SO good u jadge.
AnrEMus WARD.
Is lie gone to u land of no laughter,
This man that made mlrth Tor rs all
Proves death but n silence hereafter
From the sounds that delight or appal
Once closed. have the lips no more duty,
No more pleasure the exquisite cars
Has the heart done o'eriowing with beauty,
AS lie eyes have with tears?
Nay, II aught be sure, what can he surer
Than that Earth IS good decays not with Earth ?
And of all the hearts springs none are purer
Than the spring of the fountains of Mirth.
He that sounds them has pierced the hearts
hOliOws,
The places where tears are AMI sleep:
For the foam-nakes that dance in iife's shall
lows
Are wrung from lfe's deep.
He came with heart full of gladness
From the glAd-hearted world of the West
w laughter. but with IN a
Spake and Joked with US. not in mere jest;
For the man in our heart fingered after,
When the merrlment died from our ears
| And those that were loudest in laughter
| Are silent in tears.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25

To remove old putty from window
frames, pass red-hot poker slowly
over 1t, and it will come off easily.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25
FARM FOR SALE.

rT'HE undersigned. executor of the last "a,
i Will and testament of jesse Roberts, h
deceased, now oflerS tor sale the home SA
farm of said deceased, situated in Green -
ton Valley, two miles south OF Greenton post
Office. said farIr contains 30 acres of 4 No.
land, $50 acres under fence, balance in timber
barns, apple orchard, peactes pears, &c. Also
good water, both in wells and spring branches.
TERMS:-One-third cash, one third In twelve
months, and remaining third in two years.
For price, and any other particulars, apply TO
SAMUEL w GREASY. Executor.
maylltf Greenton, Lafayette Co., Mo.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25

TTOKNEY AL LAW. VIII practice IN ms
"a Courts Uf Lafayette and adjoining it .ouil,te -
CLAIMS and Investigation Oh titles 10 tea'
e.tst, Office over the Banking House OF " III
Anrri.on iAAAf-if
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25

Chicago Is to have an elopement lnsu-
ance company.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25
ATTOR NEYS.
CHARLES E. STONE.
WILLIAM YOUNG,
WALKER s. FIELD,
axo. >. RATHBCN. J. D. SHE" ALI Il
-nATHRlN s. SHEW
A r ALEXANDER,

a rToKSEYS All LAW, Lexington, Mo W l
n practice IN all the courts oi Inc SiNti @ . ~
ca iryuit and United states courts. fFOhil
Attention given TO COLLECTIONS olhce
ssInteIIiysncer Building front room
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25
- Noon l. H GREEN. C. II. VAN BLARhIS.
T.,ss Missouri New York
HOOD, GREEN & VAN BlARKlN,

DEAL ESTATE A1ENls, Jefferson .tf
II Mo, 10 u general Real Estate business 10
parties desirsus OF selling real estate We oee
leave to call attention TO the Tact thsl one VI
our hr,n is always III the east INDUCING capita!se
TO invest western real estate Our Comin,a
.ions iIc,t No sale no charge. We also orer
for sale line farms IN Missouri, IN various couh-
ties. We sell at great bargains anu on long
lime, part cash, balance per cent interest "e
exchange public lands anu improved real estate
4 Iexns Tor improved farms III Missouri oh
frst class real estate pay part In cash, ehaoitus
nsrt,., deslrous of emIgralIng TO Texas 10 get
their homes while land yet cheap Guides anu
maps sent Tree TO all. Address US al Jefferson
CIV Mo. Reliable agents wanted IN every
county 10 represent Us ~, HSiSi
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25
CATARR
IS IT CURABLE?

S1yHOSE Who havo suffered from the varfon1 and
L compiicate forms OF disease assumed by Ca
tarrh. and have tried many physicians and rene
question with Considerable anxiety. And well they
may for disease that con be mentioned II 30 uni
versaliy prevalent and so destructive to health a.
Catarrh. Bronchitis, Asthma, Coughs, and serious
and frequently fatal affections of tho lunRs follow,
In many Instances, o case OF simple but neglected
Catsrrh. Other sympathetic affections such a.
smell may be referred to minor but nevertheless
serious results Of neglected Catarrh. bad enough
In Themselves, but nothing compared with tho
dangerous affections OF the throat and lungs Likely
f, foil
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25
STRAYED

LARGE WHITE COW, or yearsA
n old; few red spots ON eek and ears ;N~S
tips of horns sawed of. A suitable re-t11ss
ward will be paid for her return to
mayI L. X. SMITH,
AT Smith y Maitland's, Lexington, Mo.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25
A COMPLICATED CASE,

Gentlemen.-My case is briefly as folloys: 1hays
had CAtarrh for ten Year,, each year with increae
ing severity For nine yea1 had not breathed
through ono nostril. had droppinHs In the throat.
take remedy it night before being able TO Lie
1aa sseR and s 5 an Psa an
matter as to injure my sense Of airing and compel
and my thIost before could sleep. Every one OF
these s;ressing symphonic has cisappeered under
RADICAL CURE. My hearing is fully restored. 1
have asthmatic symptoms. no cough. no drop.
better than have been for years. could feel tho
effects OF the CURs on my cppetite. on my ktaneyS:
been done In my case IL wholly tho effect OF the
FIrcBTss. Oct. Il c. d. LAWRENCE
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25
JAMES HI. 1iCHATTON.

a rroRNEI AT LAW, Lexington, No. WILL
"A mr ~tice IN the courts OF Lafayette anu AZ
G1n,ny cnuntIes and IN the supreme Court oi
the STATE. Special attention gwen TO coliectVns.
once IN Dutch Row, near Quaries j 90 :. blus
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25
PACIFIC RAIIRoAD TIME TABIt.


LEAVE LEXINGTON.
accommodation for st. Louis and the
.:..-........-..-..... QUA ny
Express and Mail tor St. Louis, East. 7 90 p. NJ
Arrive AT ST. Louis observation-disclosures. 4 20 A. ID.
ARRIVE.
Express and Mail from ST. Louis, East
and South .............. g AS A. M.
Accommodation from st. Louis, East
G. BEN RUSSELL. Agent.
ST. LOUIS. KANSAS CITY AND NORTHERN
LEAVE LEXINGTON
Trains for kansa, City and West. = AS n
Trains tor ST. Louis East and South. u :l5 u
Trains for Kansas City West. Il Is r III
Trains tor Richmond. d......-............i:45 AS A Nj
ARRIVE AT LEXINGTON
Trains from ST. Louis and all points East
and south .........................S: = 80 4 u
From Kansas City and all points West. 8 80 N
s. f. INGRAM. Agent
WfASDorTE, KANSAS CITY AND SoRTHwKsTERS
RAILWAY NARROW GAUGE.
LEAVE LEXINGTON:
Passenger for Kansas City and west. 200 A. NJ.
ESpress Mail. .........,............. 2:35 p. NJ.
Freight % A. II.
ARRIVE AT LEXINGTON:
Express and Mail from Kansas City
and the west IL Os A. N
Passenger Observation-Disclosures. 5 As r. NJ.
rFeishl -..-'..'..-.-. Az A. NJ
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25
--. ,rp,rS mo L. BCRpES,
Notary Pubic.
BURDEN s. son,

A TTORNEISS Y COuSoELLoiio Al Law
"A Lexington, Mo. Oihce back room over lhs
ir-..Ltuu savings Bank, opposite court hvuse
" M I,raclics IN the state anu tctirfai Coutt
ItvihP 80 ',I,I,... leul1-Sl-
,ou, rrrr FRANKLIN h. TUT,
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25

cURGEON DENTIST a ofice opposite
- the court house. up stairs, LeNing- Q5YS~
Uannsp apr,ly
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25
1T can Be CURED,

TT can be cured. There ia no doubt about it. The
i immediate relief afforded by SANFoRD's RApi.
CAL CURE PoR CArARRH is but . slight evidence o6
what may follow a persistent use Of this remedy.
The hard. incrusted matter that has lodged In the
the liberation snd Inflammation subdued and
healed: the entire ncmbrsnous Innings OF the head
tion that OF powerful purifying agent, destroy
ing In its course through the system tho octd
aisnn fha das;ructiYa aveut In Catarrhal disAa1sA
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25

Indorsed by q Prominent Druggist.
I hereby certify that Mr.. Lawrence purchased
the RADICAL CuRR OF me. and from time to time
made me familiar with his Ibelievs his state
Eent to he true in every particular.
FIICHBuR6. Oct. IL JAS. T. DEEBf.
Each package contains DR.. esnfords Improved
Inhalir Tube and full directions for Its In all
Price. 81. For sale BY all wholesale and re,
states and Cnuadas. WEEKS & POTTER, General
Agents and Wholesale Druggsts, Boston, Aoss.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25
TUTT s. son,

,auS. Trrr FRANKLIN h. TUT,
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-05-25
mn u w MENG.

TF. HASSELL, ID. d. S.-Office over Lin
u rick,s bank, Lexington, Mo. jal4
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-03-06

be open to enable you to see anything.
Set it down in the bedding while you 60
up IN the hay-loft to throw down feed,
and the chances are that your hungry
horses or frisky COWS will kick it over,
as Mrs. OLeary's did in the city of Chi
cago, and set the barn on fire. If YOU
have not a tin lantern, carry q candle,
or open lamp, and use it in the same
way. If the night is windy, feel your
way out to the barn the best way YOU
can and light your candle inside with
matches, and let the match ends take
care of themselves-they are small af-
fairs anyhow. On rainy days make the
barn your rendezvous for smoking and
whiting and talking politics with in
telligent neighbors who have leisure
hours on their hands as you have. Do
not be stingy with your pipes and to-
bacco, and keep plenty Of matches ly-
ing around loose, SO they will be handy
to fire up with. A few social afternoons
spent in this way will, not unlikely, ena-
bic you to get the barn burned.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-03-06
Miss DayenpOrt'S Plea of Guilty.

AS has already been announced, Miss
Emma Davenport, an attractive young
Virginia lady, was recently tried in the
United States Court, at Richmond, Vir-
ginia. She was charged with abstract
ing valuable silk dress and two val
liable packages Of jewelry from the
mail while acting as deputy Postmaster
at Goochland, last Christmas. She is of
good family and very pretty, and there
was naturally much sympathy mani
tested by the crowd assembled in the
courtroom. 1t seems that her lover
was in the courtroom, and that he was
armed with a pistol, with which to
blow out his brains should the sentence
be the Albany penitentiary. But when
the clerk said: "What say you, guilty
or not guilty?" the fair prisoner re-
piled, with a tremulous voice, "Guilty 7"
then there was a scene. With the word
guilty Miss Davenport shrieked, threw
up her hands, and fell back into the
arms of her stalWart betrothed. The
jury were moved to tears, and the
Judge hid his face in his handkerchief
It was half an hour before the lady re-
vived. The court imposed fine of
500, then she tainted again, and the
court adjourned. Miss Davenport and
her lover returned to Goochland the
same evening, where they were imme-
diately married.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-03-06
Old ST on the MOffett RegiSters.

Atlanta Constitution.
Old ST came IN yesterday and wanted
to know
"What do one of desc heah Motif
registurs set yer back?-dat Is, what do
dey cos2"
A Mofett register? Why, man. wha:
do you want to know that for?"
"Ef you'll 'skuse me, dat amt what I
axed yer"
"Well, 1 don't know what they cost.
I don't keep a bar-room Or keep count
of how many drinks take"
Eyes, sab; I know dat; but what |
wants to git at ar de price ob de regis
tur"
"Do you want one?'
"Dat [ does-an' [ wants hit bad"
"What for?"
"Well, eff I on'erstand hit, cherry time
yer turns de crank de bell rings an de
clock wurk counts one?'
"That's about it,"
"Jess so, an dere's er place in dis
town dat needs one Of dem mersheens
wusser dan dey needs er clock liner
hosspitel"
Where is that?"
"Out dar at de church Use heppen to,
boss. You see cherry time dey takes up
de collekshun de plate don't count
'cordin' ter de way de folks seq dey put
in! Dat ar is de pint-do de folks put
in wat dey does, er does de plate. mover
git some Oh de cash mixed up wild his
coat sleebes?'
"Well, what is your plan now?"
:" Hit ar to 'tach de registur ter de
plate an inquire de collector fer ter
turn de crank an ring de bell once for
cherry five cents dats put in de plate.
Den de gas-meter arrangements IL show
jess how much hit orter pan out. Yer
see, dere's some parts Oh 'igion dots
got ter pend on science to help hit keep
strate"
"That's a new kink, ST; but what are
you going to do when they put buttons
in the plate %
"Dar now! Dogg'd eff I'd tho't Oh dat!
Use gotter to go back an mend dat plan
somewhat"
And the old man went off badly
bothered over the problem.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-03-06
Women and TESTS.

The sex-blessing on their honeyed
hearts will forgive wrong, outrage, per-
jury anything but a jest. Break a
joke, light as q water bubble, nay, upon
her cookery, and she declares war.
Somebody's great-aunt, whose heart
had been broken many, many years !;
who had endured wrong, neglect, and
had even smiled upon a husbands vii
lainies, parted from the man upon a
custard. Yes, he flung a joke upon his
wife's pastry. Whereupon that great
aunt said there was limit to wife's
forbearance. and she died upon q sepa-
rate maintenance.
They are shallow thinkers who de-
clare women to be frivolous. Depend
upon it, they take life in earnest. The
delicacy Of the sex makes them shrink
from a jest. Like a small sword, it is a
masculine weapon, and not to be intru-
ded upon their gentle presence. No,
sir, woman may forgive bigamy, but
never joke.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-03-06

A GERMAN inventor has patented an
apparatus assigned to lessen the strain
upon the horse, particularly at starting,
of a loaded vehicle. The traces are
fastened to an iron rod running through
the centre of a cylinder containing
several rings Of gutta percha. When
the horse exerts himself the strain first
comes upon and congresses these rings.
saving his shoulders The German
war department, having made expert
ments and found that the saving Of
force, not alone at starting but during
traction, was at least q third, has re-
solved to employ the attachment in Its
artillery and military trains.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-03-06

George Washington was q brave man.
TO begin with, he married a Widow
Buffalo Express
The name Of Pecci, the new Pope, is
pronounced Petchee-Chicoqo Journal.
Petchee a dollar tisn't.
1t seems to be prevalent belief
that the only way to argue with Bob
Ingersoli is to let him alone.-Bufstb
Express.
An editor publishing long leader on
hogs, a rival paper in the same village
upraids him for obtruding his family
matters on the public.
" l would not live Away" is an old
song; but nowadays, remarks an ex-
change, there are a great many persons
who are trying all ways to live.
Woman has always been more than
match for man. Adam held the best
cards but didn't know how to play them
well.
The man who is honest from policy
needs as much watching as a hive Of
bees just getting ready to swarm.
Mamma" asked precious young
ster at a tea-table the other evening,
after a long and yearning gaze toward
a plate Of doughnuts, edo you think l
could stand another of those fried
holes
Kansas Teacher" Where does all
our grain produce go to-" Boy" 1t
goes into the hopper" Teacher
Hopper? What hopper" Boy
(triumphantly)- Grasshopper p
When Dan Voorhees, went into the
lobby after his silver speech, a not very
pretty lady kissed him. He has been
in the lobby ever since; but lightning
rarely strikes twice in the same place.
-Bufalo Express.
"Do you see any grapes, Bob ?"
Eyes, but there is dogs" Big dogs,
Bob % Yes, very big" "Then come
along-those grapes are not ours, you
know"
Young Green. "Cold, isn't ito"
Young Lady (tired of the subject) $50
you said just now" Y. G. nervously.)
-" Yes, but don't you think it has got
colder?'
A man who lives on the edge of
rocky declivity in the Twenty-frs
Ward has named his goat Oleomar-
garine-because it's kind of butter
strong enough to knock a person over.
- Graphic.
A counsel had mimicked a witness,
who, as a North countryman, pro-
nounced the word "water" as if it had
been WAITER" inquired Of him wheth-
er in his part Of the country they
spelled "water" with two rs? "No,"
said the witness, "but they spell man
ners with two ms"
81 tells yer, breddern, when yer HAIRS
chap torkin zif dere waz only one
highway to hebben, an he was der
kermesh'ner O dat yer highway, yer kin
go peck O. CLAIMS on it dat dar's hill
jis ahead as dat yer warmth dom see,
an faint an upgrade needer." -M.
Vernon Chronicle.
An old Methodist preacher going
around among the members of his
congregation, came across an old lady
in spectacles "Do you love the Lord:".
he asked. ''Well. parson, [ amt got
nothin' agin' him p
Ladies now wear Isle thread stock
ings inside colored silk stockings.-Er.
How the newspapers get all the news
continues to puzzle many readers
Nowistowa Herald We presume the
reporters hang around the skirts of the
town.