The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1878-06-27
WIT IN COURT.

Keen and cutting words, or even tri-
fling incivilities, INDUCED in at the exs
pense of counsel, have some times met
with swift retribution. Plunket was once
engaged in case, when toward the end
Of the afternoon it became a question
whether the Court should proceed or ad.
journ till the next day. Plunket expires.
sed his willingness to go on if the jury
would "set."
"Sit, sir, sit, said the presiding Judge,
"not set ;; hens set"
81 thank you, my Lord, said Plunket.
The case proceeded, and presently the
Judge had occasion to observe that if
that we're the case he feared the action
would not clay"
Lie, my lord, lie," exclaimed the
barrister, mot lay ; hens lay"
"If you don't stop your coughing, sir, "
said hasty and irritable Judge, I'll
fine you a hundred pounds" "Ill give
your lordship two hundred if you can
stop it for me, was the ready reply,
Curran was once addressing jury,
when the Judge, who was thought to be
antagonistic to his client, intimated his
dissent from the arguments advanced by
a shake of the head. 81 see, gentle.
men" said Curran, I" | see the motion Of
his lordship's head. Persons unacquaint.
ed with his lordship would be apt to
think this implied a difference Of opin-
ion, but be assured, gentlemen, this is
not the case. When you know his lordN
ship as we'll as do, it will be unnecessa
ry to tell you that when he shakes his
head there really is nothing in it."
On another occasion Curran was
pleading before Fitzgibbon, the Irish
Chancellor, with whom he was on terms
ofanything but friendship. The Chancel-
lor with the distinct purpose, as it would
seem, of insulting the advocate, brought
with him on the bench a large New
foundland dog, which he devoted a
great deal of his attention while Curran
was addressing a very elaborate argu-
ment to him. AT very material point
in the speech the Judge turned quite
away, and seemed to be wholly engros>
sed with his dog. Curran ceased to
speak. "Go on, go on, Mr.. Curran,"
said the Chancellor. "Oh, | beg a
thousand pardons, my lord, said the
witty barrister, " l really was under the
impression that your lordships were in
consultation"
But, perhaps, the most crushing res
joinder ever flung back in return for an
insult from the bench was that which
this same advocate hurled at Judge Rob.
inson,
Judge Robinson is described as a man
of sour and cynical disposition, who had
been raised to the bench-so, at least, it
was commonly believed-simply because
he had written in favor of the Govern
ment of his day a number of pamphlets
remarkable for nothing but their servile
and rancorous scurrillty. At the time
when Curran was only just raising into
notice, and while he was yet poor and
struggling man, this Judge ventured upon
a sneering joke, which, small though it
was, but for Curran's ready wit and
searching eloquence, might have done
him irreparable injury:
Speaking of some opinion of counsel
on the opposite side, Curran said he had
consulted all his books and could not
find single case in which the principle
in dispute was thus established.
"This may be, Mr.. Curran," sneered
the Judge &" but suspect your law lis
brary is rather limited"
Curran eyed the heartless toady for a
moment, and then broke forth with this
noble retaliation
at is very true, my lord, that l am
poor, and this circumstance has certainN
ly rather curtailed my library. My books
are not numerous, but they are select,
and l hope have been persued with
proper dispositions. have prepared
myself for this high profession rather by
the study of few good books than by
composition of a great many bad ones.
1 am not ashamed of my poverty, but |
should be ashamed of my wealth if |
should stoop to acquire it by servility
and corruption. If l rise not to rank, l
shall at least be honest and should |
ever cease to be so, many an example
shows me that an illsacquired elevation,
by making me the more conspicuous,
would only make me the more univer>
sally and notoriously contemplate.