The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1878-05-04
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

editing paragraph coiuinh 10 Inv 'i""S VA
trick mule in circus-every body thinks II a.
easy Job until getting astradde OF the mule
back
Quite an angry newspaper strife has grown VI
between the Kankakee Fish Committee and Pro
lessor Pratt, of Elgin, over the number OF hsi
supplied the former by the latter. The fish APP
pear to have been healthy and correct as to KIND
only the complaint is that they were short in the
tale Won't the tail grow?
man at Harrisburg, Pa invited his friends
recently, to his "grand annual bawl"' lie ha'
been married eleven years, and has eleven chill
dren.
Young lady rebuking asks us: which IL
worse to lace tight or to get tight"' We give il
up-wc never laced.
This is the season Of the year when carpets ant
hand-organs are turncd.-W Worcester FresS'
A workman, while digging for well in Ches
ter. Pa. found human skull The owner ha;
rot yet turned up.
There is lumber dealer in Utica whose board
bin last week was S32O0-Utica Observer.
Little hoy at the opening of proposed spelling
match: Lets start fair, grandmother. You
take NCDuCDuuDcLLcT anu u tuhc Nhs'
O. Leo Margarine she said,
See how my heart doth tutter.
he lovingly responded
He would have no other butter.
" Y World,
A gentleman named Schectz, living in neigh
boring town, has three grown up daughters, and
when they 20 out on blustery day, they are
called 'three Scheetz in the wind"
leading health journal says: "Ncycr go to
bed with cold feet" If your feet are cold, you'd
better leave them down stairs alongside OF the
kitchen fire when you 20 to bed. Inc advice
given in health journals should DC hcedcd-EL.
Il depends somewhat upon who owns the cold
feet, about being pleasant and healthy to go to
bed with them.
The sweet singer OF Michigan has got new
baby whose hair is like the mothers poetry
LtlHburY NelpS. All yes Rather long, YOU mean.
--Norristo,cn Herdld. Or too thin, probably
Dttrot Free Press. No, no; it's slightly read
i'm. ". Reporter Wrong again. 1t is so soft,
They have a fatal cattle disease in Minnesota
which they call the 'black leg" 1t is equally
fatal in this section, but is not confined to cattle
A man on Marlboro street didn't 90 home the
other night, and when he made his appearance
about breakfast time his wife said that he must
have slept in a cemetery, because he smelt OF
spirits. boston Post.
II appears that the Moses family, OF South
Carolina, abandoned Judaism three generations
ago They left Judaism for Judaism's good.
Some of these times, while DR.. Mary Walker is
climbing around and smashing things, some man
will just haul of and give her the most he-awful
old kick that ever beat in the after guard of a
dual garmature. She needs it, and Gail lIamil-
ton is the man TO let her have il.
Mr. Browning is going to give the world two
new poems in metre hitherto unemployed by
the writer. Water metre that must be.-N J..
RdL Probably u gas meter.
The p. l. man says that George Washington
stood up and told the truth like a little bell
punch"
Here is the worst pun We have seen in six
months. No wonder it has no paternity
In Alabama they chew the tasscls Of the fir
tree rs a substitute for tobacco. Which reminds
Us Of the old adagc, 'Bc fir chcwcrs and you'll
be happy
One who has probably realized thu, solilo-
ouizcs: $40 living wife knows her own value.
Il is only when a railroad company comes TO be
sued that the husband begins To- learn what NJ
treasure he has lo,t.'
That was an ill-timcd request wien DR.. Beech
cr, after disgusting one of his democratic dca.
cons with political speech, called on him for a
prayer. The deacon said: "Wc, pastor, |.
VIII, il you insist ON it, but really Pm too mad
- pray now
What splendid soldier O'Lcary would make
in q retreat!
Even the Dublin T.,cs fails when it attempts
TO initiate the Incompatible &. Washington
Childs as an obituary lyrst;
We all loved johnny Leach
But he glidcd from our reach,
And yankcd himself across the shining river; .
Perhaps he, better OFF,
For he had an awful cough,
and species Of congestion Of the liver.
Don't cmigratc 10 Georgia If you are unhappily (
married 1t takes eighteen months TO get di-
Norcc down there.
An Indiana editor has discovered that quiet
women are feared more than those who bristlc
around and make a big noise. Paste that on the
mirror.
Edison Ia, got his photograph so far along
tLat whenever it yclls out, "Thcrc now"' every
mai tNN Hlll III lut IbbUi tllbN0 w b'Ah
- shield his head and lodges under the table.
The New York World calls attention TO II curl
ous mistake OF the Rev. Joseph Cook, who, in
one Of his recent Boston Monday morning lee
lures, told how, when Napoleon had invested War
and reduced it TO cXtremities, he telegraph
"a % Paris the memorable words, Order rcigns {
u Warsaw" We are afraid, however, the " ord t
F, no nearer the truth than the Rev. Joseph I
when it afirms that the famous dispatch was I
cent by telephone to Athens by the Greek Gcncr-
Al Phogou, Immediately after the battle Of Mara
fa0n, in The year 1891.
4 Plri, letter gives the following exquisite.
touch Of human nature: "a
lD the hospital Of the Infant Jc,u, there i, a \
.te girl Of years, whose leg DR. SantGcr- ,
main Was forced To cut oil 10 save her. y
IA.