Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1878-07-04
WORKING BOTH WAYS.

| WORKING BOTH WAYS.
When Horatio Flipper and his bosom
friend, Josiah Clemmens, on the same
day, in the same church, married Au-
gusta Lawton and her dearest friend,
lAnathusia Meakim, a contract was
made between the two couples con-
tract entirely Independent of that which
lin the eve of the law they had made
when each answered, Il WILL in reply
to the somewhat inquisitlve question
put by the clergyman in regard to their
future intentions as to supporting, low
ing and honoring each other. 1t was
this: They bound themselves that if
one family had a son and the other a
daughter, that son and daughter, when
they arrived at proper age, should be-
come man and wife. There was moth
ing so novel or original in such an
agreement, if there had been, the par
ties to the contract would never have
made it, for they were neither novel nor
original in anything-they were simply
maudlin with romance, and this cove
nant was merely the effect of which a
strict attention to novels, love tales and
plays was the cause.
So much by way of prologue. Nov
for our story:
Flipper and Clemmens had died full
of years and gout and rheumatism, and
left each large fortune to his wife
They had each left, as well-a child
/ Flipper daughter named Kitty, Glenn
mems a son named Richard, otherwise
Dick. The old men had forgotten long
before their deaths all about the agree
ment on their wedding day, but not so
with the mothers. They had been in
correspondence for the last five years
about nothing else. The children had
now reached their majority, and the
mothers were anxious for the consum-
nation of the plan.s
"Mother," said Dick, at the break
fast table, there's no use urging that
girl Kitty's suit, for VOW will never
marry her.
"Hcw do you know, my son? You
have not seen her for twelve years, and
you might be delighted with her." re-
turned Mrs. Clemmens, coaxingly.
II know 1 shouldn't Dick said
"She was red headed abomination
when she was a child, and I'm certain
she's the same now."
90 Richard!
even if she was as handsome as
Hebe, I wouldn't marry her. I'd feel
disguised the moment l met her, and
so would she if she had any sense
We'd be introduced, we'd look at each
other, and say to ourselves: And this
is the person I've got to marry and
then we would hate each other
i "Well, it seems to me, Dick, that you
might a. least wait until you do see
each other before you make up your
mind. This is too sad,' whined Mrs.
Clemmens, wiping her eyes with her
napkin, and not discovering her mis-
take until she rubbed some mustard
into her blue orbs, which occasioned
the use of her handkerchief In good
earnest-'just when thought l had
such good news for you"
"What is the news?'
"She's coming here
"Who? Kitty Flipper?''
"Yes. received letter this morn
ing from her mother, saying Kitty wo'd
start in day or two.'
80 Lordw groaned Dick. "You
must stop her." he said, seriously. If
she comes, go. know what she'll be;
stuck-up little mink, full of French
airs she's acquired by studying abroad
for twelve years. She'll swear Mon
Dieu,' and mo. fol, and she'll talk about
her naivete, and her gaucherie and her
chic; she'll speak bad French in the
present tense, indicative mode, of the
first conjugation, and she'll commence
all her questions with Esther, ard then
stick like the young man at the Veneer
ing party. I.shan't see her, that's set
tied. Write TO Mrs. Flipper, and say
we are going on visit and we don't
know when we will return; or. better, go
to town, see Mrs. F., explain openly
that I'll never marry Frenchified wax
doll, but that want a wife who knows
how to keep house in order, can cook,
preserve, bake, darn, sew, mend, dust,
sweep, and as the advertisements say,
make herself generally useful. In short,
a woman like my respected ma; and, so
you may kill two birds with one stone,
find cook who can cook and fetch her
back with you"
An idea seemed to strike Mrs. Glenn
mems, and she answered gaily y;ev- b. Z
swell, Dick, everything is for the
best. If you won't marry her, you
won't, so I'll do as you say"
After breakfast she made a hurried
toilet, and took the first train for the
lefty. Toward evening she returned
with as pretty little piece of feminin-
ity as Dick had ever seen withal. The
dainty, curly haired little woman. went
straightway to the kitchen, and then
Mrs. Clemmens informed her son that
she had made matters all right with
Mrs. Flipper, and that the pretty con-
glomeration of muslin, curls, and pink
and white was new cook she had en-
gagged. i--A - = p.
"Ahp' cries the reader, ''you can't de
ceive US; the pink and white little coon
is Kitty Fipper, and three women have
formed plan to catch Dick unawares. u
And the readers are correct, but we vow
, and declare that we never had any in
tention of shrouding the dear girl in
mystery and practieing deception. II
we had-but this is egotism, and we
digress. With the advent of the new
cook came luxuries such as had never
been seen on heClemmens' table before
The cuisine las Dicks Kitty Flippel
might saw was perfect. Richard 6