The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1878-12-21
BUBBLES.

Some thini, diptheria is of recent
origin. but il isn't. The Baptis.s have lad
the dip theory ever since they started.
The man who had the last word in dis
putting with 4 woman, has advertised to
whistle against locomotive for 4 wager
Monkeys never grow old in expression:
a young monkey looks exactly like his
grandpapa melted up and born over again.
1t isn't such a strange thing after all
that We are becoming nation of drunk AT Is
Too many children are brought up on the
bottle.
-''Oh, for n thouand tongues, she sang
in the church choir. Two hours afterward
one tongue WAS found sufficient to scania.
lize -four fifths Of the women in thres coun-
ties.
A school master in New Jersey sends
MS a poem entitled Lovely Spring" and
asks us "Woud $40 be too much for this -?
No; $40 wouldn't be 4 cent too much
Send along the money.
An lrishman was told by teacher that
his charge for tuition was two guineas
the first month and one guinea the second
Then. be Jiabers," said Pat, I'm beg iii
the second month now"
A person visiting the London Museum
was shown the skull of Oliver Cromwell
at is extremely small" said the visitor
"Oh." said the guide, it was his skull
1hen he wss 4 small boy"
There has been a slight mistake com
mittcd here" observed III. house surgeon
"of no great moment, thought was the
sound leg of Mr.. Higgins which was cut oil
We can easily cure the othe. comes to the
same thing"
=" Pa" said a little boy five years old.
81 saw a lion and a lamb lying side by side
in the meadow this morning" Tut, tut,
James, don't tell such STORIES" said the
father. Z" tell you did persisted the
child al but it was 4 dandelion.''
When a new boy appears al school,
the other boys don't say anything to him
at all, unless ii is to inquire: Say. you,
what's yer name" who's yer daddy
Where 'ye live?' What reader are yer
in?" lis them yer Sunday clothes?'
-"Never kiss young girl if she doesn'
want you to, says an article on the Art
of Kissing" But pretty often when \
girl says she doesn't want you to kiss her
is the very time she does want you to and
you'd better take the benefit of the doubt
We met farmer day or two ago, who
was SO hard pushed that he was ON his way
to pawn his hoe. We told him we were
sorry tn See his case 50 hopeless, "IIope.
less - he exclaimed: Far from it You
know the old motto, 'hoe-pa hope
ever.
A well known local combination Of
black sheep, blackleg and BLACKBOARD was
recently reported TO the government com
mIttee of his club for cheating at cards
lie WAS very much astonished at so frivo
| lous charge. Great heavens" he ex
claimed, Indignantly, =" what do you sup
pose joined your internal old club for -
A Whitehall youngster had just beer
/ given dose Of salts and SIENNA, which h,
took against his will. ~ wish that OLD
| Mis-. Lot had never looked back" he ex
| claimed, making up wry faces. why
| asked his mother. because then there {
never been any such thing as salt and sin
ner to bother US little boys with, was hi
reply.
He was bschelor, had Travelled ex
tensively, and could speak any language
dead or alive. Hierogiyphics were nothing
to him. But when he returned LONE til,
other day aud talked to his sisters baby
and when II cried and was paciied by III
mother, saying, Did his naughty waut,
uncle wuncle com. honey womey anS
scarey my little putsey wutsey,' he jus
leaned over the back of the chair and wept
The day is not far distant when tn,
housewife will glance into the wood shed
and finding that the husband has gone of
without splitting the daily allowance of fuc
will take down the phuuoeraph. howl int
it a voll.y Of epithets that will register l6'
pounds pressure to the square inch on tn,
safety gauge, and then call out IT, her boy
Here. John. go down town aud grind tina
out t. you. darncd lazy old father, and Sc,
that you turn tho crank lively. too"