davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04
A.SplSndid Description.

One Paul Denton, Methodist preacher
in Texas, advertised barbecue, with
better liquor than usually furnished.
When the people were assembled, des-
perado in the crowd cried out, " Mr..
Paul Denton, your reverence has lied.
You promised us not only a barbecue,
but better liquor. Where is the liquor ?'
." Therep answered the missionary, in
tones of thunder, and pointing his mo-
tionless finger at the matchless double
spring, gushing up in two strong COL
umns, with sound like shout of Joy
from the bosom of the earth. "Therel !"
he repeated, with look terrible as the
lightning, while his enemy actually
trembled on his feet; there is the
liquor which God, the Eternal, brews
for all His children! Not in the SIM
mering still, over smoky fires, choked
with poisonous gases, and surrounded
with the stencil Of sickening odors and
rank corruptions, doth your Father in
heaven prepare the precious essence of
life, the pure cold water. But in the
green glade and grassy dell, where the
red deer wanders, and the child loves to
play, there God brews it; and down, low
down, in the deepest valleys, where the
fountains murmur and the rills sing
and high upon the tall mountain tops,
where the naked granite glitters like
gold in the sun, where the storm-clOud
broods and the thunder storms crash
and away far out in the wild, wild sea,
where the hurricane howls music, and
the big waves roar the chorus, sweeping
the march of God-there He brews it,
that beverage of life. health-giying
water. And everywhere it is thing of
beauty; cleaning in the dewdrop; sing
ing in the summer rain; shining in the
ice gem till the trees all seem turned
to living jewls; spreading golden veil
over the setting sun, or white gauze
around the midnight moon; sporting in
the cataract, sleeping in the glacier,
dancing in the hail shower, folding its
bright snow curtains softly about the
wintry world, and weaving the many
colored iris, that seraph zone of the sky,
whose warp is the raindrop of earth,
whose wool is the sunbeam of heaven,
all checked over with celestial flowers,
by the mystic hand of refraction. Still
always it is beautiful-that blessed life
wateri No poison bubbles on its brink
it's foam brings not madness and murder;
no blood stains its liquid glaze pale wild
ows and starving orphans weep not burn
ing tears in its depths; no drunkard's
shrieking ghost from the grave curses il
in words of eternal despair Speak out
my friends, would you exchange it fol
the demons drink, alcoholic
A shout like the roar of a tempest an
swered-"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

Miss LOUISE MCLAUGHLIN, of the
Cincinnati School of Design, after
many experiments, has discovered the
secret of the famous Limoges faience, a
recent French improvementin ceramics,
and has been applying it to the ornamen-
tation of pottery at the mandatory of
P. L. Coulter & Co., in this city. A
correspondent of the Gazette says that
the chief difference between this decora-
tion and that of all other kinds of
pottery is the heavy impasto of color
and the great freedom with which the
pigment seems to have been laid on.
The process of burning causes the
various tints to mingle and blend in a
manner which adds greatly to their
softness and beauty, producing acci-
dental effects impossible to obtain in
any other way, Notwithstanding which
there is still an appearance of heavy
impasto preserved, and a loading of the
pigments in the high lights which savorc
very much of the work of the best
painters in oil. Indeed, the coloration
resulting from the glaze is richer thar
the color of any painter whatever.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04
He Coppered.
Detroit Free Press.

The other day when the Silver Bill
passed the Senate, citizen who wanted
a glass of beer entered a saloon on
Randolph-street, threw down a half
dollar and asked:
Heard about the passage of the Sill
yer Bill?"
mot What knows Of" was the calm
reply.
Well, it has passed, and that half
dollar is now worth fifty-five cents"
The saloonist looked hard at the
money, made change very slowly and
asked:
"You heard about de bassage of dot
copper pill, ehf"
"Noi What bill is that9"
at vosh a pill what says dot all der
coppers in der country are wort dree
cents apiece"
He handed out three tens, a nickel
and five pennies, counting each penny
three, and returning, according to the
count, fifty cents. The drinker slowly
scraped the money off the coun
ter, coughed and tried to smile, and al
he slowly sauntered out he was heard
muttering a hope that the Red RibboI
movement would continue to progress
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04
A Darling Old Aunt.

People like to be remembered in wills,
although they did not get much, and
even canes, rings, or few books may
make greatful legatees. Mrs. Ann Drake
Seaman, whose will was proved the other
day, had something better than old tea
pots to leave. She had a round, snug
million of dollars, and must have been
an amiable old lady, for she took care
that as many relatives and friends as
possible should share her money. A will
with twenty-seven bequests in it must
have been made by a kindly testatrix.
She seems to have no children of her
own, but to have been extremely rich in
nephews and nieces, and they each of
them get house and lot; and some of
them gets houses and lots; and some of
them money in the simple shape of
cash. To round all appropriately, the
executor receives the neat sum of
$4,000. Really, that is will which it
would be shameful to disturb. 1t is
crammed full of kindness. 1t is redo
lent of sweet remembrances. 1t is
just as nice as if it founded college or
hospital or library. 1t is much nicer
for not giving the whole of the estate to
one, to the anger and disappointment of
the other twenty-six. There will be no
long law reports in the papers about that
will. The lawyers will not get the large
part of that property. The document
willno add another to the series, already
interminable, of adjudged cases.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

A NEW Pompeii has been discovered
in Italy. At the foot of Mount Gargano
a buried town has been laid bare, the
houses being twenty feet below the sur
face. A temple of Diana was first
brought to light, then a portico COM
posed of columns without capital, and,
finally, a metropolis covering nearly four
acres. The Italian government has
taken measures to continue the excava-
tions on a large scale, and has already
discovered monument erected in honor
of Pompey after his victory over the
pirates. The town is the ancient Sipon.
tum, of which Strabo and Livy speak,
and which was buried by an earthquake
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

The State Geologist of Georgia re-
ports that her agricultural, pastoral,
and lumber resources are equal, if not
superior, to any State on the Pacific
slope, or in the Northwest. She has
water power far more valuable and more
generously difused than New England.
In gold she is equal to California, in
copper to Tennessee, in coal to Penn
sylvania, in iron to the most productive
country, in pasturage to Kentucky, in
soil to Iowa, in lumber to Maine, and in
climate she is better and more unchange-
able than any of them.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

A NOVEL and valuable application of
electricity designed to prevent the posi-
bility Of collisions on railroads, is now
the subject of experiment in the Mar
settles station. 1t consists of an electric
mirror, in which all the movements on a
line 100 kilometres in length are brought
vividly before the eye, and enables the
station-masters to follow exactly the pro.
gress Of every train. BY this means it il
hoped that all accidents resulting from
delays or too rapid runs can be entirely
avoided, and arrangements are being
made for the general introduction into
the stations of the new invention.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

MRS. JUSTICE CLIFFORD, who passes
the winter with her husband in Wash
ington, is slender, erect lady, between
fifty and sixty years of age, has twink
ling merry black eye and dark hair with
scarcely line of silver in it, dresses
plainly, and is loved by every body. The
wife of Senator Davis is her warmest
friend; she is less in size, her hair is a
little grayer, and her eyes large and full
She is a sensible, plain woman, whom
any one would be better for knowing
So says one who knows both.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

Mr.. CAMPBELL, landlord of " The Duke
Of Wellington" Newcastle-on-Tyne,
boasts of being the largest subject of
Queen Victoria. He was born only in
1856, and measures round the shoulders
96 inches, round the waist IS inches, and
round the calf of the leg 35. He weighs
728 pounds. He was brought up a
printer, but compelled from his size to
give up the occupation. His appetite is
nothing extraordinary, and he is a
moderate drinker, but smokes great
deal, to which habit medical cores
pondent of the Lancet attributes his
having rather irregular action of the
heart.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

JOHN RowLANDs was the original
name of Henry M. Stanley, the African
explorer, who since his last expedition
has been receiving so many honors in
Europe. He was born near Denbigh,
Wales, In 1910. His parentage was
lowly, but he was fortunate in receiving
pretty good education when a mere
child. At fifteen he went as cabin boy
on q vessel bound to New Orleans, and
there he found situation in the mer-
camille house of Henry M. Stanley, who
adopted the lad, and bestowed his own
name upon him. Unfortunately the
merchant died leaving no will, and
young Stanley was thrown upon his own
resources. He has since been known by
his adopted name, although on occa
sions when he has revisited his native
place he has been addressed as =" John
Rowlands."
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

LADIES dress is delicate question to
discuss in the presence of members of
the sweet sisterhood, and Rev. Sir
Emilius Bayley, B. D., must be ac-
counted bold man, for he introduced
the subject at the Female School of Art,
London, after the annual prizes had
been awarded. He started out by say
ing that women always seemed to be in
extremes. always contrary to sound
taste. Some years ago, complaints
were made of crinolines, with their ex-
uberant circumference. Now the elong-
alton was in another direction, and gen
tlemen were always in danger of stepping
upon the two ample trains of the other
sex. He thought, too. that high heels
were as inconsistent with good taste as
they must be with comfort. Female
headdresses in the present day were
fairly open to criticism. He hoped the
time would soon come for their emanci-
patton from those coteries of Paris
dressmakers and coffeurs which dictated
the fashions. He did not see why,
when lady found a bonnet becoming
her, she could not 60 on wearing it. He
had heard of husband who, having &C
companied his wife to milliner's, and
ascertained that she was quite satisfied
with the choice of bonnet, told hel
she could not do better than order !,
dozen at once. This last incident seemed
to edify his fair auditors, and Sir Emil
ius stopped short. Itwas high time.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

city, and with statement of the amount of
money then in the treasury, and to what
particular fund the same belongs. 1t shall
be the duty of such Treasurer, in his
monthly report, to state where such money
is thus kept. Section 4. That any City Au-
ditor or City Treasurer violating the pro-
visions of this act, shall be liable to be re-
moved from office in the manner provided
for the removal of officers in the Municipal
Code; and being so removed, shall be in
eligible to again fill such office. Adjourned
until Tuesday afternoon.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04
THE MoFFET PUNCH.

The man who wants his whisky punch,
With crackers and cheese or other free lunch,
Must not complain of the Moffet Bell Punch,
Though it strikes his pockets all in a bunch.
Punches are bully, punches are fine,
If one has the choice of his punch in line
But to have the bell punch whenever you dine
With its silvery clang--Ill have none in mine.
The punch it goeth very queer:
One little clang for lager beer,
For whisky straight two clangs hear,
And 80 it counts upon the ear.
Punch, barkeepaire, punch with care,
At the Moffet Bell Punch of the senataire;
One little punch for the glass of baier,
And two little punches for the corn juice-air.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

SECRETARY THOMPSON, in speaking
of the numerous jokes at his expense,
said: "That of the hatchway was best"
Some one present had not heard it, and
he repeated it: "In one Of my visits OF
inspection IL was said that / was asked
to define the proper dimensions of a
hatchway, and that replied, That de-
pends upon the size of the hen and the
number Of eggs she is to sit on"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

0O0,0O0f.; Italy, 375,OO0, ,OO0f. Belgium
and Holland, 25O,OOO, ,OOOf. Russia does
not figure in this list, and hence the
imperturbable calm of General Ignatieff."
Several papers here, in examining the
question of the pecuniary indemnity to
be paid by bankrupt and dismembered
country, are beginning to cry out against
the French holders of Ottoman bonds
being reduced to ruin.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

A LETTER from Constantinople says it
is not astonishing that General Ignatieff
should pay little attention to the credi-
tors Of Turkey, the debt of which .coun-
try amounts, in round numbers, to $780,
600, ,000f., or f260, 900. The floating
debt is 1900, ,0o0, ,O0Of. the consolidated,
5000, ,00O,0OOf. This latter is thus dis
tributed; England holds 2,25O, ,OOO, ,0OOf. I;
France, 100000, ,0oof.; Turkey, $685.
900, ,ooOf.; Germany and Austria, 500,
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

fired; one ball passed through the sons
heart and another through the shoulder.
With the words, "Oh God, Osgood, am
shot," he fell and instantly expired. In
about minute another shot was heard, and
running into the building the crowd which
had gathered found the old man a sicken-
ing sight. The whole top of his head was
blown off, and one eye hung on rafter
fifteen feet away.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

CoTToN-sEED oil manufacture is be-
coming a marked industry in the South.
There are now seven large mills in New
Orleans, and others at Baton Rouge,
Shreveport, Natchez, Vicksburg, Dallas,
Memphis, Nashville, and even st. Louis
and Chicago. A ton of seed produces
twenty gallons of oil, worth $3.50, while
the refuse cake, worth $40 per ton, is
valuable as feed for domestic animals
and for fertilizing land.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

A WESTERN farmer, being obliged to
sell a yoke of oxen to pay his hired man,
told him he could not keep him any
longer. Why" said the man, "Pll
stay and take some of your cows in place
of money" "But what shall | do"
said the farmer, "when my cows and
oxen are all gomez" "Why, you can
then work for me, and get them back"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

COLONEL PRJEwALsKI, in his recent
explorations in Kashgar, found race
of people very low in the scale of civili-
zation. These were met with on the
shores of Lake Lob-Nor, living in mis-
cradle huts constructed of reeds and
branches twisted together. Their cloth
ing is made of the fbers of kind OF
lake weed, and with their nets and
canoes constituted the whole of their
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04
TOPICS OF THE DAY

A MEDICAL writer says that paralysis
of the vocal organs may be occasioned
by the pressure Of tight-htting collars,
cravats, ETC., on the nerves of the neck.
Hence, he adds, "avoid as much as pos
sible the wrapping up of the throat in
comforters, mufilers, bows, etc. When
once the throat becomes accustomed to
bundling, it demands that the habit be
faithfully persevered in"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

THE New York correspondent of the
Chicago Journal says that more than
twelve years ago he was ordered by the
editor of the New York Tribune to pre-
pare an obituary of Thurlow Weed, who
still lives, but is in feeble health. The
London Timcs's fifteen column obituary
of the great Duke of Wellington was
prepared seventeen years before his
death, receiving annual additions until
he was no more.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

A SPECIAL to the Nashville American
from Huntingdon, states that Elvira,
daughter of Esquire Elijah Scales, in
that place, shot herself through the
heart with rifle, applying her loot to
the hammer.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

IT takes a great many bricks to build
a house; but the more man carries in
his hat, the less he will find his house
a-growing.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

The astute paragrapher goes into the
orphan asylum to hunt wife. Thus
he lodges the terrible mother-in-law.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

PRoMIssoRY notes in Kansas are not
drawn SO many days after date" but
"when / sell my hogs"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04
PASSING SMILES

JUSTICE consists in doing no iniurv
to men; decency, in giving them no
ofense.
CoNcEIT is like the natural oil of the
sea fowls plsmage, which sheds the rain
that falls on him.
IHE greatest genius is never SO great
as when 1T is chastened and subdued by
the highest reason.
FLIES toll not, neither do they spin.
yet they have the first taste of all the
best gravies in the land
The elephant has the least and the
raDplt the most eyes for its size, and the
rats tail is Just the size of its body.
THE roof of the thoroughbred dogs
mouth is always black So is the bot
tom OF the cats foot who is a good
mOuser
THE cuckoo is the greatest economist
among the; birds, she laws her eggs in
other birds nest, and lets the birds hatch
, them out at their leisure.
The serpent and the crab CHANCE their
clothing each year, and the raccoon lives
all the winter long on the memory of
what he ate in the summer.
THE horse always gets up from the
ground on MS forelegs hrst, and the cow
on her hind ones, and then turns around
three times beferes he lies down.
In selecting husband" said Mrs.
Puffer, "above all things choose a man
of cultivation" This remark narrowed
the girl to such an extent that she went
Oft and married farmer.
NEVER be harsh with your children
or servants. Firmness with gentleness
of demeanor and a regard for the feel
ings, constitutes that authority which is
always respected and valued.
RATS have fewer friends and more
enemies than anything of the four-legged
persuasion on the face of the earth, and
yet rats are as plenty now as in the
palmiest days of the Roman Empire.
+" YER go'n to spend every cent what
[ bring yer home fer striped stockings,
an ther amt nothin' to eat in the house,
is what drunken man was telling bar
ber's pole when a policeman arrested
him the other day.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

I" No Cincinnati Exposition this fall, >
10 the verdict.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

A GRAIN elevator that was never
known to pay-"Ol rye"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-04-04

JUSTICE consists in doing no injury
o men; decency, in giving them no
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1878-12-31
Sabbath School Officers.

The Sabbath school of the Presby-
terrain church held its annual election
of officers on Sunday. The following
are the officers chosen to serve during
the ensuing year.
A. G. Hammond-superintendent.
II. A. Linn-assistant superintend-
emit.
A. X. Rex-librarian.
W. r. Grattan-assistant librarian.
d. d. Dare-secretary and treasurer.
Elder p. F. Powelson chorister,
and to chose his own organist.
Before proceeding to election, the
pastor made some remarks in regard to
the long and successful service of Mr..
A. G. Snyder as superintendent, and
that he had requested last year to be
relieved from the duties of his position,
and this year insisted on another name
being substituted for his. Mr.. Snyder
followed in a few remarks, saying he
was gratiied to be able to give the
school into the hands of another In its
present condition. With two bible
classes, one hundred and twenty'three
scholars enrolled in the intermediate
department, and Hfty-three in the in
FAINT department, he felt that the school
was in successful operation. He would
most heartily continue to labor for its
welfare and increased usefulness. After
election of officers, Messrs. Snyder and
Hammond were appointed a committee
to purchase a new library. Satisfactory
reasons were also given for not present.
ing the annual report, which will be
given the school next Sabbath.
The names Of the elected to serve as
officers In the Methodist Sabbath school
are:
W. D. Pease-superintendent.
Job Herrick-assistant superintend-
emit.
John Sterling-treasurer.
John Houghan-secretary.
Mrs. Hattie Durbin-assistant secre-
tary.
Thos. Durbin and H. L. Fisher-li.
brarians.
The officers of the Congregations
church Sabbath school arr:
j. s. MISREPRESENTATION.
G. N. Potter-assistant superintend-
ent.
G. w. Riner-secretary and treasur'
er.
Walter S. Decentralization.
W. II. Harte-frst assistant libra.
rian.
j. g. Pratt-second assistant libra
rian.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1878-12-31

Mr.. w. w. Juukiu, an editor thirty
years In the harness in Iowa, paid q
visit to Cheyenne last week. On his
return home to Fairfield he took occa-
sion to .'write up'' his trir. Af.5r al
luding in the most complimentary
terms to j. W. Hammond, an old &C.
quaintance, he touches up Col. Fisher
thus:
Our dstent,oz e Cheyenne was quite
short. We sav enc person OF our ac-
quaintence-Col.s G. ". Fisher, for
merly editor cf the Oskaloosa daily
Herald, and now q division superin-
tendent on the Union Pacific road. W.
note this position for the encourage
ment of Iowa editors who desire to
disabuse their minds Of the idea that
they are only 6t for newspaper drudges.
Col. Fisher has lost none Of his old
time heartiness, and 1t was a pleasure
to see him looking SO well. He has
been in railrosd business In Wyoming
and Colorado for about nine years, and
he makes an efficient and valuable
officer.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1878-12-31

Lieut.. A. 9. Macomb was incorrect, as
he is with his family In Philadelphia.
INFORMATION was received Of his dan
gerous illness at Fort Fetterman, and
this was followed by a letter from an
officer Of the Fifth cavalry, who stated
that he had died.
Lieut.. W. F.. Halleck, U. 8. A.:
Capt. Herman Schreiner. Ninth caval-
ry: Maj. Frank Larned and Lieut..
Charles Harkins are sojourning in
Washington.
Capt. 8. p. Ferris has returned to
Cheyenne from court martial duty at
Camp Douglas, Utah.
Lieut.. Col. Fred. D. Grant has been
ordered to proceed to Omaha and Camp
Robinson under special instruction.
The wife of Lieut.. Pease, Ninth in
fantry, left on yesterday afternoons
train for Denver. The lieutenant has
gone to take station at Fort Mckinney.
Lieut.. E. L. Higgins, Second artil-
lery, and Lieut.. Morris, Fourth artil-
lery, passed through Cheyenne yester-
day with 10S recruits, intended for dis
tribution among the regiments on the
Pacific slope. The recruits are fine
looking men, and well qualified to do
effective service If occasion should
require.