The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1878-05-28
COMICALITIES.

Migrants pangs do filler
But SOON the snmme. time vii. come
And bring the caterpillar.
- Yonhers Gazette.
A NoD-FELLow--A sleepy bachelor.
AN Ontario clergyman offers reduced
marriage rates to clubs Of ten.
"HE lies like bell-punch," is a terri
BILE Virginia smile.
If cigar makes man i'll, will che
root make MANILA?
To Gortschakoff is new English verb.
1t means to hornswoggle.
SEEN by moonlight a Washington
equestrian statue is nightmare Wash
ington Capital.
A THIEF may make bolt for the door
and not be very good mechanic, either.
Union Argus. ..
The lightning-rod swindlers will soon
begin to operate. Spare the rod-but
kill the agent.-DanielsriUe Sentinel.
The Graphic asks if the Sweet Singer
of Michigan "has had that baby copy
righted?"
A MUSICAL Vermont girl is described
by the local critic as sailing her voice
like kite"
A YOUNG blade of her acquaintance
had passed without acknowledging her
bow; her eyes flashed like swords, for
wasn't she cut-lass?
The agricultural papers are already
discussing small fruit-though it will be
months before they will be current to-
pick Graphic. tt
A NEWSPAPER man who breaks the
Sabbath, excuses himself thus: eff
fish are wicked enough to bite On Sun
day, they ought to suffer for it,
A HOUSE on First street, Louisville,
wherein occurred some of the scenes de-
scribed by Mrs. Stowe in "Uncle Toms
Cabin" has just been torn down."
WHAT'S the use of chasing live butter
flies with market basket or fsh-net,
when you can buy brass ones which can't
kick for ten cents apiece?'
A WEST Hill boy wandered into a
Jefferson street drug store yesterday and
wanted to buy ten cents worth of dv
paper TO make kites Of" -Hasckeye.
DARLING, the Mollie Mcguire lust
sentenced at Mauch Chunk, is, not the
"Mollie Darling" referred to in the
song.
JOHN 3. GoUGH's eloquent coat tails
will shortly sail for Europe, and appear
before a London audience. Mr.. Cough,
we understand, will accompany them.
SMALL boy (entering shop)-"I want
pennyworth o canary seed" Shop
keeper (who knows the boy )--"Is it for
your mother?" Small boy (contemptu-
ously ))-"No; it is for the bird"
CIRCUsEs are little backward this
season. Only five of them are the big
gest show on EARTH" Each of the other
six is simply the ''most complete aggre-.
CATION on the road. "--Noristo'on Herald.
AN exchange says: "traces of the
late visit of the horse disease are still
apparent in this vicinity" What has
become of the balance of the harness and
the running gear we are not told.
DURING time of great political ex-
citement DR.. Cheever called on an old
deacon for prayer The deacon said:
" Well, pastor, will, if you insist on it;
but, really, Pm too mad to pray now"
OBSERVATION teaches that there is no
change in the style of ish-bait this sea-
son. The best is procured at the saloons
as usual, and is carried in a glass recep-
tacle, cnt basket shape, and garnished
with cork.
FIRST URcHIN-"W When doctor gets
sick, what makes 'em get another doctor
to give 'em medicine?" Second Ur-
chin-"Cos they can't take their own
medlcine-it's too nasty. They give it
to folks. "-Ksngston Freeman.
"JULIUs, is dat Halafacts reward set
tied YETI" Il dunno, Copernicus, but
1 reckon not, for l 'bserve de hous of
representation is maxim music bout de
preparation for de fshin sea billy.
Y. Graphic
PARTICULAR to hade.-Ofice Page:
Please, sir, was the money you give me
for yer lunch a two-shilln' piece or 'arf
CROWN" Clerk: "Half crown.
Why?" Office page: Coos | gone and
lost it.-fw.my Fo!ks.
WIFE (sarcastically, to husband COM
ing home at five in the morning.
Home already, my dear? Why YOU
are early Husband" Yes my love;
but l didn't care about staying any later;
it was gett; : dull. "-Puck.
In thu Ill watches of the night it is
easy Oh to fancy that one hears the
soft ". ispers of angels telling him to be
good; but jump out of bed and you'll
find it is the hired girl talking from the
window to her fellow below-perhaps
telling him why the Monday washing
was brought in, contrary to agreement.
WATERFORD, N. Y, has the champion
absent-minded young woman. She was
recently married, and few days after
had her furniture insured, but the next
day appeared before the agent and want
ed the policy changed, explaining that
she had forgotten that she was married,
and had had her maiden name inserted
in the policy.
AN agricultural paper gives several
directions chow to tell a good egg"
They are not altogether satisfactory,
however. The quickest and surest way
to tell a good egg is to place it in one
hand and mash itwith the other. If an
odor arises that leads you to believe that
a bone-boiling establishment and Linn
burger cheese factory have telescoped,
the egg is not good and you want to throw
it away and wash your hands. This
method never fails. F.+s.-
The Rev. Mr.. -, after several years
OF married life, was at last blessed, upon
a Saturday, by the addition of a fine boy
to the family-circle, which had hitherto
consisted OF only himself and wife. Upon
the same day, the church at which he
offlciated received a timely and very
much needed donation; over both of