Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-11-21
DREAMS.
hr. Bijah JOY Interprets One fer an
#-- Enquiring Female. e-ra
Detroit Free Press

NSi-N,OA 0pO'' -'letutlLl: tAptCl L &c Ilsttl
more dreams than any other baid-head-
ed man in this U. S. A"
Well, I've had Dreams" She con-
tnued, as she bent her eyes on the
carpet. "Ive had such dreams as |
never heard tell of, and being as wo-
man told me that you could advise me,
I've called to talk with you"
Go right ahead on the starboard
tack, madam"
There's a man-there's man COM
ing to our house, sir" she said, as she
partly hid her face.
Comes to read the gas-metre, Isup-
pose? Wei, go on
| He comes to see me-" she said,
giving her head an indignant toss. Il
| might as we'll own up that my face or
form, or conversational powers have
attracted him. Judging fron2 his &C
tons he seems to love me-"
docs, Ell? Has he ever brought
you peppermint drops? Has he ever
read poetry to you? Have you ever
noticed him gazing at the moon like
goat looking up at a bunch of grass on
the caves of a shed?'
Il am satisfied that he loves me-"
she musingly replied, and I con-
| fess -"
!'That you love him p
She blushed.
Which was very. very proper IN her
Same as ever-old, old storv-end
IN the usual Wayne cards." he sighed,
as he shifted the cat so that her yellow
eyes glared across the room at Jug of
sweet cider just brought in bv a farmer.
After he left me last night | had
dream" she said 81 dreamed that I
was trying to darn pair of socks with
a door key for a needle and some tele-
graph wire for yarn. While [ was
trying to mend the holes heard horn
blow, and looking out of the window
saw-what?"
A fish peddler, of course"
No, sirl | saw a two horse wagon
loaded with cofins The dream awoke
me, and [ found myself sitting up in
bed. 1t has worried me ever since,
and want to know if you can interpret
! it." .....
Madame" began Bijah, as he rose
up and smoothed down his head, "you
have come to the right man, and at the
right time, | have never Dragged around
any on my power to interpret dreams,
but being it's you l will say that l can
knock the spots off of any other human
being in this town on the dream bust
ness.
" And you can tell me the significance
of this one?"
q Humph! Should think could! In
the first place you dreamed Of socks.
That's a sign that the woman next door
is jealous because you are better look
ing than she is, and she's been SANDER
ing you"
" She has? Then I'll pull her peaked
nose!" exclaimed the dreamer.
Then you dreamed OF a door-key.
That's sign of an accident. Be CAREFUL
madam, and don't hit the clothes-line
| in splitting wood, and don't go UP on a
ladder over ten or fifteen feet"
Il never, never climb ladder, sill e.
Don't you? So much the better,
But be careful how you go down cellar
during the next few weeks. I allus
back down pair of stairs. That gives
you a chance to die in your toe-naiIs
if you go to fall. Also, don't Jump on
a street-car when in motion"
II never do, sir"
"Then you dreamed of telegraph
wire, madam. That's another bad
sign. Don't go around the back yard
barefooted, or you may cut your heel
on an old bottle and have fatal case
of lock-jaw." .-..-
q go barefooted!" she gasped. -
/ hope not, madam; and if you eat
any peanuts for month, throw the
shucks away. Even if they don't hurt
you there is only two per cent. of nour-
ishment in 'em." 49, .'..-
She looked at him in amazement and
he kindly went on: 81.
YoI heard a horn blow, and that is
good sign. I've known women who
had struggled with cold feet for eighteen
straight years to dream of a horn
blowing and be perfectly cured in five
hours" 81"
"Sir!"
"That's me, madam; and | rejoice
from the bottom of my heart at your
good luck. Then you dreamed of cof-
fms. Did you see any figures on 'em%
~ don't remember"
Well, I s'pose the undertaken will
put enough figures on 'em, for that
matter. To dream of collins. madam,
signifies that you will shortly have an
offer" p. 1"s Es-
Is-that-so?" she softly replied,
blushipg again.
" 1t is, madam. Less than a month
ago a woman came to me who had been
dreaming of collins, and within three
days she had an offer"
" And she accepted him p
g 1t was an offer, madam, to nurse a
woman with the roomytiz-sa salary, S.
per week and found.
"Mr. JOY" said the gentle dreamer,
as she rose up and made a grab for her
train, az shan't go out as nurse-not
just yet"
81 wouldn't either; it's very trying
position, particularly where the patient
is respondent and imagines that you
want to murder her." =
Mr.. Joy, am very much obliged"
"'Tis we1l-'tis well. Good day"
She sailed away, her face as red as a
coal and her nose up, and he sat up
and muttered to himself:
She believed every word of it up to
the offer and just cause | wouldn't
lie about it she goes away feeling dis
persed and put out. That's the way
with 'em-onsartin, unhappy and on
grateful" -''-H r j.
Afflicted Patriots. -
Candidates who recently visited
/ Paradise and Sprin6, city ar az thav