The crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1877-1878, 1878-01-10
LEVITIES.

A beastly galc-Thc martingalc.
The first thing in boot is the last.
True to the last-A well.made boot
A Knight of the bath-Saturday night
A quack doctor is not a duck of q
man,
Fools and their back hair are soon
parted.
A good thing to put in PRACTICAL
young lawyer,
Can marine animals talk?' Certainly
seal skin.
A deaf man must 60 away from home to
hear the news.
How to make catfish-Leave her alone
in room with an aquarium.
Philadelphia has just had cat show
Here cats don't get any show whatever.
May not the venerable editor who pre-.
fers old to new jokes be called an old saw
sage?
Life is made up of sunshine and shad.
Ow'-abOut five shadows to one sunshine.
Josh Billings.
It's a wise child that knows It's own
father, and wise cask of vinegar that
knows its own mother
what an idle fellow you are, Fred You
do nohtRg." "BeCause there's no time to
do dnyhiNgm
He wasn't firstrate French scholar, or
he'd never have said that Tilden's Sam.
singing is all confined to "Sang trdpd,"
Let the whirligig of time spin and spin
until it creates hotboX, and 1t cannot
bring the hair trunk into fashion again.
Hawthorne says; 1--WE live in dead mems
houses" Perhaps we do; but isn't this
preferable to dying in live mems houses -
Some one will soon bring out a volume
and put stop to these silly book titles. 1t
will be entitled; The Fool or the Man
who Buys Me"
If the short man ever feels overcome with
an intense desire to be tall, it is when he
finds himself on the outside of a crowd at
dog fight.
That's bit uphill for me, as the Grip.
pie on crutChcs said, when he came to II
place where the road slopcd upward at an
angle of forty,tive.
1t is not difficult 10 initiate Josh Billings F.;
thus; "Doan't karray aigs in your cottale
pocket. Aigs amt good after they've been
sot on awhile"
The old maxim, abe chastc and you'll be
happy" is contradlced point blank by Il
Black Hills man, who was recently chased
ten miles by party of redskins.
Lady to doorkccpcr Of the French as
ia =, frn, Co.
that the session is entertaining. | will
give ten sous more if they come to blows"
y, is fine conycrsalonaist. "Rcmark," +"
said he, the other day, what is, on this
point, my style of thinking "Ah" said
a bystander tell me your thought, hut
save me from your SWc'
Now does the foolish man dcvour the
cold mince pie before going to bed, and be
fore another sun appear. is surprised to see
green turkeys, clothed in yellow bouScs,
hitchcd to red omnibus.
We here, remarks an exchange, ofsccond
crops Of everything this fall, on account Of
the warm weather, and now a second crop
Of old summer clothes have appeared on
good many persons in this place
Bcggars should not he chooscrs-LairCl
Ccondesccndingly)-"D Do you think that
you could carry home hare, San.
dy" Sandy-"Wccl, Laird, dlnna doot
but could if a had pair o rabbits to bal.
ance wi'"-Judy
Colonel" said Spiccr as long,windcd
individual, with large ears, finally left the
office of the DeaSparc Insurance Compa-
ny, "that man is a donkey 80, no." said
the genial colonel, mot a donkcy-only an
ear relation"
ooh that were the Balkan mountains"
said he. This is, indeed, Il remarkable
wish" replied some one; land why pray,
would you be anything so imnracticablc?' ?'
Because" replied the dead head, "if |
were the Balkan mountains, you see,
could have nine passes"
The professor was addressing the au-
dicncc on the subject of molusks. He
said that an oyster laid one million two
hundred thousand eggs. When" asked
startled searcher after truth, on front
seat about seventeen minutes past p
M, " rctortcd the annoyed professor