Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1878-06-13
Miscellaneous Items.

Bob Ingersoll says: "Women has the
right to do as she pleases." Well, wheth.
er she has or not, that's exactly what she
! does-it she's married.
''What is wisdom?" asked teach
er of class of small girls. A bright
eyed little creature arose and answered
Information OF the BRAIN"
The latest style of kids Is the twenty.
seven button gloves, which ale Joined
back of the ears and serve to keep the
hair from tickling the neck.
Oil of eucalyptus is said to be an ex.
cellent local anesthetic. A drop placed
on cotton or wool and inserted in the
cavity will relieve the toothache.
"Beg pardon for stepping on your
train" said a fop at ball; then added,
"you ought to have had cow-catcher on
it, "And I would have caught calf,
said the lady.
A Scottish clergyman quoted text OF
Scripture in his prayer, and added fol
the instruction of his audience: "For that
| 0 Lord, is the correct translation of the
passage"
Octave Feuillet says: "Providence has
| so ordained it that only two women have
a true interest in the happiness of a man
his own r other, and the mother of his
children. Besides those two Legitimate
kinds of love, there is nothing between
the two creatures except vain excitement
| painful and idle delusion."
When Eugene Hale married Miss
Chandler, Papa Zach. Chandler gave
him 100000 for wedding present; and
at the advent Of every grandchild, a check
for 100000 is forthcoming, to be placed
to the credit of the child as nucleus of
its future fortune. Babies are never I'm.
welcome in that household.
! A young and somewhat dull tyro al
the bar pleading before him commenced
"My lord, my unfortunate CLIENT then
stopped, hcmmed, hawed, hesitated
Again he began: my lord, my unfertu,
nate client"--another stop, more hemming
and confusion. pray go on, SIR said
the Chief Baron. So far the Court is
With you"
1t may be all right for border to fall
in love with his landlady, and she, if un-
married or widow, violates no law in
returning his passion, but it is totally op-
posed to all sentiments and proper appe-
lite to send him lock of her hair through
the medium of the butter or the hash
served up for brcakfast.-Ph Philadelphia
Post.
A little boy in Sioux City Sunday
school put poser to his teacher. The
lady was telling her class how God pun.
ished the Egyptians by causing the first
in each household 20 be slain. The little
boy listened attentively, and at the proper
interval mildly inquired:
"What would God have done il
there Lad been twins?"
Gail Hamilton's latest epitome of Mas
sachusetts: That lovely, beloved, bu
exasperating old State, so 'ich and pros
porous and powerful that can shed he1
reformers like water from ducks back,
and sail along steadfast and stately under
slower-bath of selfconceit and wrong
headedness that would sink forty tathoms
deep weaker commonwealth"
One of the most remarkable things in
human nature. however, is this willing
ness OF woman to sacrifice girls life for
the chance of saving the morals of a
scapegracc man. If a pious mother
can only marry her son Beelzebub
to some "good, religious GIRL" the
chance of his reformation is greatly
increased. The girl is neither here nor
there, when one considers the necessity
for saving dear -Edaoard Ey-
gZeston.