Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-10-23

| UOCOte
One would think in general stagna-
ton everything would be deer. Quite
the contrary.-Boston Transcript
See, mammal" exclaimed a little
one, as puss with arching spine and
elevated rudder, strutted around the
table, "see kitty's eat so much she can't
shut her tail down."
The last reported temperance speech
rebukes those who ''drink to success -
and ''the exercise law" This is q fact;
nor was it from a colOred orator-The
C6ngregationaHa.
".Glass slippers" are announced. It is
| doubtful if the small boy finds so MANY
panes in them as he has discovered in
the old kind. "There is nothing like
leather after all. "-Norristown HeTazd
Rich parvonu. who knows nothing of
painting, to an artist-"How shall [
hang this picture?" Artistic wouldn't
hang 1t If [ were you, but commute its
sentence to solitary Imprisonment for
| life"
Its solemn thought that every time
your heart beats some immortal soul is
born into this world of care and sorrow
and toll and death, and every time
My Grannfather's Clock" is sung, some
being passes away to his eternal rest
burlington HaWkeye
There is o fortune awaiting the man
who lnvents q boomerang bootiack
which you can throw at a cat and have
1t sail back to the window if it misses
the mark.-Bahinoore Neus.
If Mr.. Edison will only invent a pro-
cess for making confectionery out Of SUI
gar, and fivecent cigars out of tobacco,
he will be entitled to niche l. section
A. Temple of Fame.-NeU London TeIe-
gram.
'Mariah Marian. please let me ill.,"
said man to his wife, who was looking
out of the window watching him trying
to open the door with toothpick, |psh
tread ON my key, and it's ali fattened
out. "-Eccha'1ge.
"These Mongolians is improvin," as
the Gold Hill miner thoughtfully re-
marked, the other day, when the China
man quietly blew hole through a
white loafer who had just spit in his
face.-So'a Francisco Ne,0s-Letter.
She handed him q piece of smilax to
admire, and after fond gaze he gave it
back, saying, "YOur smile lacks nothing
in the line of beauty" She tried to
look sad and wondered what it all
meant.-DanielsonviHe Sentinel.
The spirit of emulation in funerals is
IN strict obedience to public sentiment.
Coming from the burial of q friend a Dan
bury young woman said to her mother:
did you ever see such cheap looking
corpse?"-Daabuy Ncms.
The potato bug signs YEARLY as he
commences to dig down through the
six or eight feet of earth under which
he is found all winter by the most en-
terprising liars. Life is not all play
ground even for the potato B1id0e-
port Standard
The art of printing Will never be COM
plete till Professor Edison, or some one
else, lnvents a means Of conveying to
readers ears the shrill whistle that es-
capes young husbands lips when he
first learns that his wife has TWINS
Boston Commercial
One Of the great needs of this country
is vest pocket deep enough to take in
the whole length of the extra cigar, so
man can look his fellow square in the
eye and say, "No, Pm sorry, but this is
the last, and [ nave already had it in
my mouth. . Cincinnati Breakfast Table.
Whenever a man begins to feel that
be is SO great that the country is stand
ing out in the middle of the road wait
ing for him to come by, then it is about
time for his friends to took up some
soft place in a lunatic asylum to Law
him down Cincinnati Breakfast Ia
ole. ..s.r.s.s .s.....,s.s .-...'.ss ~.
Some man with an eagerness for fame
has invented a spring-seat saddle that
will rock a man to sleep on the hardest
going animal. What this country needs
is some kind of a saddle that will hold a
man down on the roof of horse when
he suddenly, and without warming,
points a. the sky with his tail.-Breok-
fast Table.
This is the season. says the Free
Press, 'swhen the GIRL whose stern
father has kicked her lover outdoors,
packs up a few things, writes an eight
page letter to her mother, drops a
clothes-line from her chamber window,
and at midnight, when silence reigns,
raises the sash, sees how dark it is,
and-jumps into bed as fast as she
cam" @
A man, good. broad-hearted, strong
limbed christian man may stand it,
when he can't run fast enough to get
away, to have nine-year old ram help
him, at short intervals, ali the way
across a ten-acre field. and over seven
rail fence. and not get SO very mad
about it, but it does just make his soul
rise within him when the shameless goat
laughing derisively through the fence,
shouts after him in hooking tones,
"Buttin', buttin' who's got the buttin'?"-
Hawkeye, 4-.'.@
An Interesting Theory Developed by the
Wild Geese.
The Virginia City (Nev.) Enterprise