Litchfield enquirer., 1878-07-18
CLIPPINGS.

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 CLIPPINGS.
 The path of Through the Custom House.
 Chicago has new city diIootury. It is published under the fascinating title, "Delin- quent Tax List 1878." ..
 He whs is best fitted for his proper duties in life is in the very way of preparation for the best dying. -..-# ..lt 7. <
 Seeking the bubble fortune at the canyons mouth" is what they call gold-huntiag out West.
 A Chicago critic on being shown landscape, said :-"Yes, it smells like painting" The artist dropped the curtain. "a.
 Pleasure is merely result We get it when we follow other things and lose it when we seek it for itself.
 "A cock-eyed pelican of perdltion" is what a California editor calls the editor of a discs teemed contemporary.
 Augustus" said Amelia, Chow do oysters get any air to breath when their shells are closed tight ?" 'Bi-valves," murmered Gus.
 "No man will help you as you can help yourself" is an old saying, and the histories of the penitentiaries will attest to the truth of it.
 Tramps please notice. A medical journal says: Eat very little meat this warm weather Ice cream, pure milk, and vegetables are much better"
 Elder Sister-''Oh, you fancy yourself very wise, dare say my dear, but l could give you wrinkle or two" Younger Sister-'.N No doubt-Gnd aae0er miss Mem."
 "What is faith ?' asked Sunday-school teacher of boy scholar. He belonged to baseball nine, and replied, "Betting on left handed pitcher"
 The New Haven Palladium is confident that method of lighting railway cars has been per fected by which friends can he recognized without holding them up to the lamp.
 1T wonder where those clouds are going," sighed Flora, pensively, as she pointed with delicate finger to the heavy masses that floated in the sky '1 think they are going to thun- der," said her brother.
 Acting up to his principles. es.-Gentleman- ''Why man, you've swallowed Lalf a cork in tbat whiskey!" Extra hand-"All right, sor, Pm contint. I've learned to takeiverything in the spirit in which it is offered"
 The just published report of an Irish benev- olent society says: Notwithstanding the large amount paid for medicine and medical attendance, very few deaths occurred during the year."
 "Grasshopper Christians is the latest name for those who are active and prominent in re- l vivals, but in ordinary times seem to be asleep.-TAe CongregationGIist. It is very true that George Washington nev CT told lie, but then his wife never made him say he would spade up the side flower | beds and the verbena mound in the front yarC before he went down to the office. We are apt to complain that our neighbors | do not get the pure liquor of our fathers. But there was Attilius, an ancient Roman general 1 who claimed to have killed snake 120 fee long.
 1 Last year country editor offered hi. paper one year for the largest watermelon The offer has not been repeated this season Instead of doubling up his subscription list bJ the grand scheme, the melons did nothing bu double up the editor. ss.
 Scene (Junior recitation in physics.) Pro lessor B. to Mr. As copper wire, then simple or complex in it's structure %' Mir. A. l Complex, sir" Professor B-"Indeed! O what IS it compOsed?" MT. A-"Usually oi copper and-and-wire, sir"
 One of the London boulevard weeklies give this as an opinion passed upon Mrs .Langtry the reigning British belle: ''She is very hand some; but she always reminds me of Jersey COW, with her creamy face and great black eyes. If she had only black nose the re semblance would be complete" An Illinois freshman has the reputation o having thus outwitted pert senior Seni0r- | 'Do you know why our college is sucha learn ed place ?" Freshman-"Of course; the fresh seniors never take any away,it naturally ac- l cumulates." ee re x l A little daughter of Connecticut clergy man was left one day to .'tend door, anC obeying summons of the bell, she found gentleman on the steps who wished to see he father. "Father isn't in," said she ssbut if i is any thing about your soul can attend t, you. know the whole plan of salvation" | "Pack me upone or two nice books to read, j said Mrs. Jones to her husband just before de
 parting on journey to the country. Jones dit
 so, and the disgust which Mrs. Jones felt can
 not be described when she took out from tn
 satchel to read on the cars, 'Barnes's Note
 on Matthew" ''CicerO's Tusculan Disputs
 tions," copy of ''Livy' with notes, and cook book.
 The records of Ramsey abbey show that tn
 curates in the livings of St Leonard and s
 Lawrence received their tithes in kind, receiv
 ing every tenth COW, calf and pig. A rathe pompous, tight-laced. clergyman was on
 day called upon to christen child, but o E asking it's name the woman who brought
 said; s1 don't know sir: it's your child,7 sir.
 My child ?" exclaimed be- teYes, sir: it { the tenth child sir"
 : "What kind of house will we play" aske
 one little girl of another. s'Oh, play calling, } replied the other. ''Mary, here, she can b } Mrs. Brown and sit on the step, and me an , Julia will call on her and ask her how she i, and how her husband is, and if the baby's gc -sl over the measles, and tell her how nice sll
 looks in her new wrapper and hope it won hurt her much when she has that tooth filled 3 And then we'll say, good bye, Mrs. Browl come and see us some time or other, and brin the children and your sewing; and your such a stranger, we don't see half enough ( i you And then me and Julia we'll courtes ! and walk off piece, and I'll say to Juli, : Did you ever see such horrid old fright ! she looks in that wrapper?' And then Jul she'll say, The idear of anybody having fals } teeth..flledp And then I'll say, Yes, an what homely lot of dirty little brats the young ones of her'n is Let's play it, what ( lyou say2" si.