davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-01-08
CleraYmen's Anecdotes.

A Il A recent gathering of ministers in
n a neighboiihg town, when their
funny experiences formed the topic of
conversation, one of them, hailing from
Berks county, stated that on a recent
occasion he was engaged to officiate at
the funeral of married lady, and after
the services were over, before leaving,
he took the hand of the bereaved hus-
band TO bid him good bye, and, as was
his custom, offered some words of con-
ISOLATION suitable for so distressing an
event. AS he was about withdrawing
his hand, the afflicted husband, drying
his tears, drew the minister to one side
and in low tone asked whether he
would be at home next Saturday, (this
being Wednesday, The clergyman re-
piled that he supposed he would. But
why do you ask" WELL" said the
now widower, l have selected another
wife and we want you to marry u.s."
The minister remonstrated-said it was
a shame, and that'h would do no such
thing. "Well," said the would-be
benedict, " 1 cannot compel you to do
it, but if you will not somebody else
will.n
OF course this yarn brought out
another that happened in Montgomery
county at funera of wife also, pre-
sided over by another one of the gentle
men present. AT this place the room
occupied by the chief mourners was
divided from the kitchen in which
the cooks were at work, only by thin
partition, and door through this parti-
tion, slightly ajar. Near this door sat
the bereaved husband, stepped in tears
of grief at his great loss. The cooks
outside, as women will, talked of this
and that, pitied the poor man left with
out his help-meet, and finally concluded
that if he could of course in due sea-
son. marry a certain maiden lady,
whose name they mentioned, it would
not be so hard lot for him to bear.
The husband inside the door, who had d
keen ear, heard this planning, and came
out into the kitchen, wiping his eyes,
said: "Yaw, ich hab au shon on de
Betsy gedenked." 6 Yes, too have
been thinking of Betsy already"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-01-08
The best Legacy for Boys.

Every parent Is anxious about the fl-
instinct. But in these days of luxury
and speculation, fathers make fatal mis-
takes in regard to their sons. Even toll
and hardships, by mistaken affection
withhold the discipline that made them
what they are, and which is absolutely
necessary to develop their boys. 1t Is
we'll and wisely said that the best legacy
a man can leave to his children Is the
ability to take care of themselves. Fit
them for active business or useful labor
and you secure for them an income.
This income is as much greater in value
than the same income derived from an
inheritance, as useful business, art or
trade, seems indispensable in these days
of sharp competition and hardships.
And in selecting employment for your
sons one thing should be clearly under
stood-the market is largely over stock
ed with clerks and statesmen who expect
large pay for little work. Success and
affluence must be looked for in other
fields. And those most promising in
good results are identified with the de-
mands, growth and development of the
country, where the profits may be small
but sure. "Small, steady gains lead to
competence and peace of mind" Give
o young man good moral habits, and a
practical knowledge of some useful bus
iness, and the chance is that he will not
be long in working his way into po-
sition where he will realize $1,000 a
year-an amount about equal to the in
terest of $4,000. Now, young man
who thus earns 81 ,000a year is in a far
better position than a thoughtless and
idle young spendthrift who possesses
$4,000, because he is more useful and is
making himself happy instead of mis-
erable.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-01-08

And May withdrew with burning
cheeks and down cast eyes, murmuring
a word or two of thanks to the doctor as
she went.
" Not married to DIR. Lindsleyl" cried
out Eudora Laplace, just three months
afterwards. What that milllner's
girlY"
But she's not a milliner's girl at all,
maliciously retorted Stephana, her sis-
ter. She's the daughter of decayed
gentleman, I'm told, very highly educa-
ted. And tell you what, Eudora, you
lost your chance the day you scolded her
SO about the hat, and he overheard you.
It's your own temper that has done it,
my dear"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-01-08
Plain Talk 10 a Girl.

Your every day toilet is part of your
character. A girl who looks like
" fury" or sloven in the morning, is
not to be trusted, however finely she
may look in the evening. No matter
how humble your room may be, there
are eight things 1t should contain, viz:
a mirror, washstand, soap, towel, comb +,
hair, nail and tooth brushes. Those are
just as essential as your breakfast, before
which you should make good and free
use of them. Parents who fail to pro-
vide their children with such appliances
not only make great mistake, but
commit sin of omission. Look tidy
in the morning, and after the dinner
work is over improve your toilet. Make
it rule of your daily life to " dress up"
in the afternoon. Your dress may or
may not be anything better than calico,
but with ribbon or flower, or some bit
of ornament, you can have an air of
selfrespect and satisfaction that in
variably comes with being well dressed.
Golden Rule.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-01-08

his feet than he would sit again with re-
newed violence.
The afirighted clergyman and his wife
gazed with wonder at the appalling
spectacle, and the good small boy never
ceased to sing What Shall the Harvest
Bep" at the very top of his lungs-in-
terspersing that stirring hymn with q
wild "whoop" whenever a particularly
brilliant pair of stockings waved in the
air.
The icy pavement was strewed with
fragments of teeth, spectacles, coats,
trousers and skirts, and Master Sawyer
picked up enough of copper and silver
change the next morning to enable him
to buy twelve tickets to rattle for u
broken shot gun, and to subscribe hand
somely to the missionary fund.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-01-08
Work Necessary to Happiness.

The man to go crazy is not the one
that has dozen irons in the fire. The
mad-house is often replenished by men
of leisure, who NOPE about thinking of
themselves until reason is dethroned.
Motion is law of the universe. I" From
the particle of dust at our feet to man,
the last stroke of Gods handiwork, all
bear the impress of the law of labor.
The earth is one vast laboratory where
decomposition and reformation are con-
stantly going on. The blast of Natures
furnace never ceases, and its fires never
burn low. The lichen of the rocks, and
the oak of the forests, each work out
the problem of its own existence. The
earth, the air, and the water TEEN with
busy life. The world is animated with
the same spirit. Onward increasingly,
unwearied, age after age, it pursues its
course-itself, with all it contains, q
perpetual lesson Of industry to man.
The joyous song of labor sounds out
from the millioned-voiced earth, and
the rolling spheres join the universal
chorus" Action is indispensable to
physical, mental, and moral vigor. 1t
is law of nature that a certain
quantity is good forman. If we would
have well-developed physical frame
and material good, there must be phys
ical labor. Mental strength and the
exploration of the depths Of philosophy
are the result of ceaseless mental activity
The maturity of Christian character is
reached only by the man who does what
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-01-08
Much Sense and Many P's.

A writer puts a good deal Of good
sense and good many p's in a small
space in the following: Persons who
patronize papers should pay promptly,
for the pecuniary prospects of the press
have peculiar power in pushing forward
public prosperity. If the printer is paid
promptly, and his pocket book kept
plethoric by promptpaying patrons, he
puts his pen to paper in peace; he paints
his pictures of passing events in more
pleasing pictures, and the perusal of his
paper is of more pleasure to his people,
Paste this piece of proverbial philosophy
in some place where all persons can per-
ceive it. Be pleased, ALSO. to ponder
upon it personally, patiently and per-
severingly, and profitably and persist
emily practice its precepts perpetually.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-01-08

his hands find to do with his might.
The true nobility of this world are those
that pour into the current of life the
honest vigor of toll. We cannot honor
too highly the faithful, industrious man,
who by his economy and patient labor
is building up the welfare Of this world.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-01-08
How a Husband was Won.
&C T AM SURE 1 could do that" said

L AM OORE cOulu 40 Jnat, Salu
May Perrian.
She was sitting on an inverted starch
box in the middle of the kitchen floor,
her round chin in her hands, her dotted
cambric dress turned deftly up to pro-
tect it from all possible contact with
dust and Dirt for Miss Perrian spent a
goodly part of her time in that identical
kitchen.
Mark Perrian had been well-to do
merchant once, but unwarily allowing
himself to be persuaded into endorsing
for a plausible villain, he sank almost as
if by magic into the Slough of Despond
which men call poverty. He was not a
man of much courage or endurance, and
consequently he gave up almost with
out struggle, took to his bed, and sent
for doctor.
And May, his eldest daughter, was
left in entire charge of battalion of
young children. Servants had been dis
charged, the big house had been ex-
changed for shabby little tenement in
side street, and all expenses were cur
tailed as much as possible.
But May had all the spirit and ener-
gy that her father lacked, and this she
could have borne bravely enough had it
not been for the ever-increasing heritage
of petty debts that seemed to weigh her
down. She was sitting on the starch
box, with grocer's bill in her hand her
pretty brows knitted ,and her lips pursed
up in mute perplexity, when Annie
Smith came in.
Annie had been seamstress in the
family when they had lived in the big
house, and she had now been promoted
to the position of general assistant in
fashionable millinery. She was taking
home an order, and she could not resist
stopping to exchange greeting with
her young mistress as she came by the
door.
+" Its for Miss st. James, she said.
Just look, Miss = such a love of a
hat.'
Miss Perrian turned the hat around in
her hand, eyed the bunch of crushed
roses, the cloudy folds of tulle, and the
chrystal butterfly that quivered on a
spiral wire on the top
"I'm sure could do that" she said.
+" Deed, miss, and wish you had the
chance" uttered sympathetic Annie
q" For Miss Halwin is ill-the best trim
mer that madame has-and we're dread
full hurried
Could you get one or two for me to
trim ? 1t would be so nice if could
earn little money when the children
are at school,"
"I'll try, miss, said Annie.
And the next night she came at dusk
with mysterious paper box under her
arm, and her face wreathed with smiles.
"There are two of 'em, miss,'' said
she" one chip and one lace, with the
flowers and trimmings in paper. And
if they suit you can have plenty more
to do.'
May trimmed the hats to the best OF
her ability studying over them as if they
had been prize essays or cabinet paint.
ings, OF anything else that required the
deepest thought and the most careful
manipulation, and Madame Denise went
into ecstacies over them.
'She shall trim Miss Laplace's hat
Smith, " said she to the pleased little as.
sistant. And tell her to do her very
best"
1t was piece of pink silk Grape, with
ribbons of the softest sunset hue, and 6
cluster Of delicate spring honeysuckles
that Annie Smith brought round thai
night to Miss Perrian.
Miss Laplace is madame's best Gus
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-01-08

eg AS the word 6 bulldoze" threatens
to become fixture among American
ism, it is well enough to learn its true
origin. The usual mode OF intimidating
colored voters in Felicianna Parish, La,
was to give them dozen lashes with
bull-whip; hence bull-dozen hence,
the verb to bulldoze
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1878-12-14
New Publications.
THE BEST
Il HoNoRED ABOVE ALLli
Europe acknowledge the superiority Of JOhnsons Cyclic
TWO MEDALS AND DECORATION OF HONOR.
hal 10 NJ PhilOrCk.

Europe ACKNOWLEDGES tho VI NS'i''
TWO MEDALS AND A DECORATION OF HONOR
There has been no question as 10 smer1'h"-lPhorlcE
From the Hon. JOHN D. PHILBRICK, LID. Commits.
soner Of the Educational Section OF the International Expo
i66 BouIRvARD MoNr PsRNAsss PARIS oct. a. 1873 Al
WIN JOHNSON ssquDEAS SR am GLAD to inform yog rc
ompense it deserves Bronze Medal has been awarded to
chief There has been no question as 70 It's meIe
"HoNOR TO WHOM HONOR Is DUE"
Exposition IA is Professor A. p arnaEd I L. D. pIesi
Of oaicef Grand Lssion Of Honor for %
From the Rev DE- JAMES NJ King Pastor Of Washing
ton square NJ Church. NewYork:
have spent time anG pains IN looking INTO me eT N
faith and satisfied that the evidences ought TO be CGne
tho oGgh has Tight to the name Of Cycopdla The
cant Be @S G1 w @aaa EGmeR 5Se s a
s Liking ~ fgCsg9 @y gg e pmb hers ongS in can
dor 70 print y sore PCT nSht in BS nteF
est OF the claim Of the otteng Papacy furnish healthy
who are just enG Upon s6s The sPjSy
liberty There Dat one Gyclopcaa for American real:
the book fdr ali readrrs-Appecns New CycIop@dia for
Johnsons has foun place IN my Library because u Is
s sES c sG[rd '0"pr'H'"'''' March i87o
From the Rev Dr WM h TAYL2R TS,or of BTo"d"
attracted 10 J0HNS0%,S NEW 81 c Gf
editors on its epsge now that It ana aaly
fG@@ II the ac that work every worth" Of
the reputation of the wOTkmc There IL evidence tNel
article Of Independent RESEARCH lns.ahhg thOIuusnch
and abuTiou- condensation. In the Theological Department
perhaps the most difficult IN such work 7" haue
tits perfectly fair hoGmg back moth nG which ought ~ non,
put for ard and putting forward nothing "U!Ch
cannot subsauated the DepaTment OF science II ~
superior TO work Of the nj with Wlc am me-
and History frll and mp ra tho r les beng
written truth, and not IL those 81 pa W. II
library in itself and ought 10 be on the table o every s
dent March 90
From Professor r. D. HITCHCOCK. d D., LII ID.
Al WEST TwENuETH-sT., YORK, NAV 3 1873.
president f. a. r. BAENARD- MY DEAR SIR; am lhpN 10
pT. Adams lcttrt the Arpetons haS brth
led and revised nj changes nave peth
made What 10 tie OT letter about cont
pete REPUTATION" Of the charge II Je,uNu has Dten
stricken The Guiding clause OF another sentence abou
Of has been Significantly italicized Ana NJ
another point has been inserted enph'hlLh t'
Adams had not himself examined IN new el-
ton Of Appl CyClopTda but commended only on me
presumption v1l,n had been don 10 mo nh "l
history. Hereafter the letter must be published III ms
published For myself ie bound - say AZ
lave compared 1tOus Of Aprctons CycOpada AMI
have fOu abundant proof IA the edition Las bc,h
Of the Roman athOic
Church against the truth OF hst0 Yours very truly
ROSWELL D.. HITCHCOCK.
~ 1nu>.nN snN II HrnnI Iunns.sL- \ y.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1878-12-14
Mem Publications..
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WILMER & ROGERS NEWS CO.,
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natter with freshness owing its weekly issue ami with
satisfactory completeness attempted Oy no other rb
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