Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1878-02-16
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.

DC ~suIe youiT FS"l"N@4 49, o.
right.
Russia to Austria-"Whatll you
take2"
Kee,, your mouth shut and you
will NOT get your foot in it.
The hard times are nearly over.
The silver, bill is about t. pass. ID
The spason seems 70 catarrh very
well to the public demand for colds.
"Do they miss you at bame2' he
asked No" she replied, "ihey call
me Sis.
In cnurtino, a young man usually
puts his mustache where it will do
the most good.
Aud now il we could only annex
Canada on the sly. what number of
bank presidents we would bag.
A pint of peanuts will keep George
Francis Trin week. That's why
this countryis down on peanuts.
Happy thought! Englishmen arc
being" Kicked to dea'h bv American
shoes fastened on English horses.
The story that Cardinal McCloskev
married Mrs. Hicks is authoritatively
denied. The Cardinal is still single.
A Danb'rv woman has applied to
be appointed Constable, despairing
Of catching man in any other way.
The Queen to Parliament-"My
lords and gentlemen: want some
fresh stufiing put in that lion right
off" .-.u. -....a --tH.-i
the first hours of slur,ber are the
sweetest II ever man sleeps the
sleep of the just, it is when he's just
asleep. ... ..-.-.. ..
General Grant, while in Eyvpt.
mny be distinguished from the
Sphinx by his having cigar in his
mouth.
The fact that Victora and Disraeli
both want to fight gives color Of
truth t' the story that they are about
to marry.
"What, children Piaying snlfiers
on sunday" "Yrs, mamma: but
We are singing 'Onward, Christian
Soldier ""-t..5t g-4tt. rer
In sannv France the cry Of the
patriots is "Vive Ia r puhliq ie." In
this c'nlniry it is "More WAGES aud
less work"
Somebody thinks DR.. Hollands
last poem j. "almost intoxicating IN
its beauty Z" A sort of Holland gin,
we suppose.
aid H. bu, Know" is The latest
music. "He Does Know" and "Hr's
V"rv Angry Since He Found You
Out" are in press.
"The best wav to cure crying
child" says an'advertisement 'is to
buy baby carrisg".' That's right;
keeo the bawl rrlling.
A hair from the mad dog is said to
cure the bite, aud solitary tress
from the hash will cure n passion for
headed waiter girl.
"Please, sir, give me penny" ~
cant stop; am late nov; have got to-
make a speech to the Society FOR the
Relief OF the Destitute aoy s8e.
Mr.. Brnum's acknowledgment
that ''nnbody Can cheat the Az
mighty" embodies the concentrated
experience Of long and peculiar
Career 511s ~ A II 2oEL8EA
A lady living with her fifth hus-
band, trying to recall an event of
former years, said refiectivelv, "Thnt
must have been two or three bus
bands ago"
One by one the roses fade. 1t is
now boldly denied that the men who
wear long hair are possessed Of any
more talent than those who have it
clipped close d3u0 So % ~
4 lazy fellow once declared in
public company that he could not
find hre,yd for'his family. "Nor l."
replied an industrious man; I'm
obliged 10 work for it.p GH1AA|
Hawthorne said that "m anual labor
Was part af the -primevsl curse, and
. that it bruititied whoever had to do
with it." Can it be possible that
tramps read Hawthorne2
Banks may "brst" and "go up,"
but we.dcfy them to get any Of our
money t, soar with, We deposit our
spare change with delinquent sub
serihers, aud none Of them will ever
90 up. H.. -, s,e. t.~..