The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-03-07
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

1T is \ sweet reflection, in view OF the
situation in the East, that this entire
country is out of the draft.
THE Sultan to Russia and England :
"You go ahead and fight it, now. For
my part, I'm tired" -Butalo Express.
THE Parisians eat 1000 horses per
month. No wonder they should fight
for their haltcrs and hoofs, and all the
rest of the house. -HaWk-Eye.
A NEWSPAPER speaks of Il horse that
eats meat. Jones says that he has new
err seen a horse actually eat meat, but
has seen one running for stake.
A rEsr-CAsE of Virginia bar-keeper
who cheated the Moffet bell-punch, has
been carried to the Court of Appeals,
which affirmed the validity of the law.
O, HEAR We the tramp Of little Greece?
She will not no, she 'front.' have peace!
Her army burns to sta,t the fuss,
Her hOst-nlnc men and an omnibus.
Huntington HaWiEye.
EIGHTEEN HUNDRED revolutionary
ladies have been logged by order of the
Russian Government. This looks very
much like universal SUFFRAGE Chicago
| Tribune.
THE Danbury News wonders why
girls, as well as boys, do not have par
ties on their twcnty-first birthday. 1t
is because their mothers won't let them,
isn't it?-Butalo cypress.
In an old pin-cushion belonging to
the late Mrs. Oliver Jewell, of Cazeno-
via, N. Y, were found $50 needles, ten
worsted needles, eighteen darnine
needles, two tape needles and thirty-fivc
pins.
JOHN CHINAMAN always substitutes
an "r' for "r' in his Mclean speech.
Such linguistic lascal ought not to be
allowed to live on such lations as I've
bled and lice in the land of the flea
Graphic.
A sELF-AsSEETING parishiOncr, who
was trying to browbeat his pastor, said,
" You can't make twice three seven,
not by good deal, great as YOU NAV
link yourself" II can come within
one of it," quietly replied the clergy
man.
a NEW YORK physician, who has
been Investigating the subject, has
made the discovery that mot one per-
son in three has legs of equal length,
and that there are nearly double the
number of left legs longer than they
need be. than there is of the right
A GENTLEMAN having occasion to
call on solicitor, found him in his
office. which was very hot. He re-
marked the great heat of the apart.
ment, and said ut was as hot as al
Oven.' IS So it ought to be-" replied
the lawyer, " for it is here | make my
bread"
BRACKETS on the wall are handy
things. BY hitting them YOU always
know when you reach :hc wall, the,
catch what dust is overlooked by the
picture frames and center table, and
Sundays you are kept out of trouble
mailing up those which have tumblet
down during the week.-Bridgepor
Standard.
els MIR. HUBBELL in?' asked Mr.
Cook of his OLD friends wife, OF whom
he called after they returned from q
short residence in France. mo, Mr..
Hudbell' is not in,'' she replied, with
evident pique, but Mr.. Hoo-belc is in.''
Every well, ma'am.'' rejoined the
caller, "please tell Mr.. Hoo-bele that
mis- old crony, Mr.. Coo-hcok, would like
to see him.
THE State of Connecticut has passed
a new law, law that is designed, &C.
cording to the Boston Globe, to crush
out hydrophobia and diminish the num-
Der of small boys. 1t has been an
nOunccd there that the sum of 81 will
be paid fer the tail and ears of dog,
and fort Lv;tb tLn ,var hoe oor,o,oroo1
Big dogs and little dogs, Spitz, mon.
grel, mastiff and terrier, are all alike
hushing their notes of joy or distress in
speedy death.
A RAGGED. shivering, middle-aged
man called at Il house on Sibley street
and asked for food, but the lady of the
house called out, "Why don't you
work for your food?'' Il would if
knew where L could find work. he
promptly replied. "There is place
down town where you can saw wood
and earn your dinner" she continued.
That seemed to stick him for half a
minute, but he finally said. with great
solemnity, +" Madam, let me state a
parallel case. There is place in
Heaven for you, but you don't want to
die till you are driven right to it,
She pondered over his philosophy for a
few seconds, and then called to the
cook to pass out half loaf of bread
and some meat.-Dctrot Free Press.
A POOR woman lay very ill in her
scantily-furnished home in Sheffield.
The doctor was sent for and came. He
at once saw that hers was very grave
case, and that she had. as he thought,
little chance of recovery even if she
could get the nourishment her illness
required. AS he was about to leave.
the question was put, "When should
we send for you again, doctor?''
"Well," was the reply, as he looked al
the poor woman and then at he1
wretched surroundings. II don't think
you need send for me again. She can.
not possibly get better; and to save you
further trouble I'll just write you out 9
certificate for her burial" And he did
After the doctor departed, the woman
women arc always willful-got bet.
ter rapidly. She has noY completely
recovered, and goes about CARRYING hel
burial certificate with her.-iShetfelO
(Eng.) Telegraph.
If you want success and comfort
with Madeira vines, start them in the
living room at any time from the pres
ent time to the LIST of March, giving
each plant a five-inch pot. Provide a
trellis upon which the plants may
climb, but keep them we'll pinched
back to induce lateral growth, and pre-
vent their running as much as possible.
About the 1st of June turn them out OF
the pots, where they are to grow, will,