Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1878-07-26
Humorous.
As II twig is bent tho boy is inclined.
Nop OnttuN Picuyltac.

u - AtV UFaUN ft6dHltNC,
Servant (afler situation) wv" An do
ye1 40 to Long Branch or Newport
\ For me own part, ! have ne preferences Z
H1rpcr'S Rd,ar,
In the way OF worship in hot weather,
Il man thinks hc Is dong we'll enough
when he allows his wife 10 50 to church.
Wee 0fifuS hcag,Wc,
Jenny, what makes vou such bad
girl%' Well mamma. God sent YOU
\ the best children hc could find, and II
they don't suit you, can't help it,"
Y Nc shan't I've ahl, to get over to bel
gium 10 attend thcsilvcr wedding of the
1 king, but the old rooster has our thanks
I just the same. Boston Poa.
\ hov at school ON being asked To
describes kitten, said "a kitten is re-
marknhlc for rushing like mad nj moth.
lng whatever and stopping before il
gets there .ltag.
Darwin says woman lesca one tenth
Of her time looking for her thimhle.
He recommends that shelf for it be
attached 10 the frame Of the mirror.
| stood in Vcniee, On tho RrtdSo ot Stghs,"
Tue sad aud lmpcCnhuus poet wrote,
Debating whether 10 ~ back aud steal i hnNt,
or skip ny the tollhouSu rs tho swallow Il c
We observe that the Washngtonians
arc teaching the young idea how to
shoot. One little Slrl Of the capital city
has Just succeeded IN shooting another
lutte girls nose oil. BgPdlo t1ptc%,
What this country most needs seems
to hc some SORT sc fruit that will tide
church festivals over the brief interval
between dceayed strawberries andgrnpc
Shot peaches.
One can sit down IN chair oa Concy
Island beach ut ten cents per hour
The object IN sitting down is To pntro-
ni2c n poor but worthy man, who lost
his eye while trying to HEX IL school
teacher Detroit Free Press
American peanuts hnve boon intro
dueed into Southern France. The
Florida cracker foods them to his pigs,
Int the Frenehman makes them into
real olive OIL" which he exports TO
America, where we smack our lips over
il and sny; How strange olives won't
grow in this country. - LolpeR Courier.
Josh Billings, in geological moment
writes "Tho pocullarity of tho fly is
that he returns to the same spot; hut II
is the characteristic of the mosquito
that he returns to another spot. Thus
he differs from the leopard, which does
not change its spot This is nm inn
portnnt fact III natural history
Edison has invented II machine for
oondcnsing tho noise of the elevated
railways Of New York, running il down
Il pipe to the battery, loading it on the
Sound stonmboats and dumping il near
Bratlehorough, VI. Great man. that
Edison The I'rattleborough people
expect to can tha noso and sell il for
Fourth Of July cecbrations.-Ihid-
delpha BaHctin
The seething summer days have come
IN tullrlcst of tho year,
when mortas turn from gin aud rum
10 elnunhue nnd beer;
when apple women AltCs ana lAl
A plague to poor or IlCh
Cnnsptru 10 keep our feelings NJ
The ehOlCrn mofbuA pllch,
Womcn's ewes have become dim over
the needle, womens hearts have been
broken over neglect, womcn's eonsttu-
Llnlln NutGblllDpd HIlItI IlGISlSl'llb VIZ
city, but Of NIL the hnrdships II true
woman has to encounter, there u
nothing tlnt tries her mind, brain and
body more, than the attempt 10 walk
IN rcal fashionable pin 'om
back.
A boy livo years Of age having stolen
IL can Of milk his mother took him to
task, with moral suasion, and wound M
her discourse by saying, What IL tho
world were you going TO do with the
milk was gong To steal dog 70
drink IL, was the crushing reply.
.Tnil 10 bat, the vampire said.
~ iner "a ineD ihu tDGIlnn ntood
Then The pitcher pnteh nnd the catcher euieh
Md the hntttr bnt nv hr onRhiet should
Adown the slope where the fielder fold
iinet hot ia Il ho net wang
Aud atwccu the optics bnng
III hnnnlr0us ns a hoRshcnd bnhR
Yet, sir yelled 4 preacher in =
Dakota church, one Sunday mornings
" there's more lying and swearing and
stcnling aud general deyiltry 70 the
square ineh IN this here town than il
aIl the rest of the American country"
and then The congregation got up and
dumped the preacher out Of the win
dow
Work ON the Boston postofIiee cxten-
oion il progressing slowly, but surely,
Four mason- squlnted over block 81
stone Yesterday for three hours to dc
eide il il was loyel, and then went %
dinner A couple Of men VINO spent
the principal pnrt Of the afternoon il
getting III and out Of their oyeralls, got
~ FAR rs splitting on their hands before
N -. 80 - l.....l. ..lr - ILnn ..ill