Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1878-12-28
josh Billings Philosophy.

are more ipklined TO Civ us hredit for
what We are doing, than for what we
hav dun or intend to do.
hAv gotaz mutch reverence az most
pholks, but never could see the neces-
sity ov praying thru mi noze, and un-
derstand how diffikult it il, for the best
ov rs, to carry our Dizziness into our
religion, and keep the proporshun
right.
Yung phools hav been kno IN to out
gro their pholly, but old ones never do.
After man haz made rsputashun,
to prevent infringement, it would be .
happy thing if he could have it pat
tented.
Mi CRATE ambishun il to be an inhab.
liant Ov the whole world, not lokal
denizen, hampered hi petty prejudices,
narrowed down hi mutual Ignorance
and admirashun, to the limits ov town
or city.
The man who will agree to work for
nothing, il the hardest kind ov man
to satisfy. when yu KUN to settle with
him.
hav seen pholks spend all their
principal, and then tri to liv on the in
terest off it. This il gloomy.
virtew, CIV sum kind, il the only ped.
igree thare il, and q man can't transmit
this emmy more than he kan klear con.
shience or sweet bretn.
To let yureself down to emmy mans
level il eazy enuff, but to git bak to
WHARF yu cum from, and not tare yure
c1othee IL n,,re hizziness
Mi sweet youth, yu waz given 2 ears,
and tung, and eyes, for q wize pur-
pose. What do yu suppoze the purpose
waz?
Thare may be persons SO rude az to
be out ov the reach ov politeness, but j
never met one yet.
admire the man who haz got moth
ing else in particular to brag about but
hiz avurdupoize, and robust helth just
az do lusty steer; after i hav seen
him weighed hi Fairbanks, all interest
in him ceases.
Money kan make a man notorious,
but kant make him respectable, but
one-haff the people don't know the diff
ference.
don't suppoze thare il any sutch
thing az perfeckt happiness, and what
little happiness there il, il largely COM
pozed ov this mean ingredient; we are
happy just in proporshun az we hav
got sumthing that others haint got, nor
kant git.
It il dangerous to intrust sekret to
most pholks; they are like dog with
bone in biz mouth-he trots around
lofty, with hiz tale over Liz bak, show
ing the bone to everybody.
Probably the CRATE Successes ov life
hav most often been reached hi knowing
how to take advantage ov our lucky mo-
ments.
like to cum akrost things that
kant komprehend; this satisfys me; how
dependant am upon sum CRATE and
MYSTERIOUS Power.
Mi dear boy, lay this up on yure
upper shelf-if yu hit the Bulls eye
80 times, and miss the hundredth, the
world never forgits the miss, and kant
seem to remember the hits.
hav listened to learned prognostika-
shuns all mi life, and have made several
smart ones miself, and find hi figuring
them all up, that fair artikle Of guess
ing would beat the whole lot.
Menny people are afrade to be natral
for fear they will be called comIaon,
but the truth liz. we are never so strong.
nor SO interesting, az when we are per-
fektly natral.
If it want for the risks, thare
wouldn't be emmy phun living in this
world; ded sure things (enuff of them)
mill don, GRO li1o appv man
Swearing il not only wicked, but a
brutal habit. 1t il the ruffian's vernak-
ular, and the loafer''s argument.
Viii do we all luv little children so
mulch? IL it not on ackount ov their
simplicity? And don't their simplicity,
all ov it, spring from their faith?
It amt after all so mulch what we
enjoy, az what We expekt to, that makes
US happy.
All the most cunning men hav small
beds, so do the cunning animals, the
munky, the fox, the weazel, and the OPP
possnm.
Thars IL one rule which believe haz
no excepshun to it; when q man falls
down on the ice. WHARF the water il an
inch and q half deep, he never feels
proud ov the job.
The man who il able at all times to
hide biz tru karakter haz q CRATE deal
ov virtew in hiz natur, and possibly
CRATE deal ov deviltry-i forgit which.
A fanatick IL party who mounts a
commonplace idea, silks both spurs into
it klear up to hiz heels, and trys to git
q 2-forty gait out ov it.
About one half ov all the trouble in
this world il manufactured to order out
ov nothing, and q large share ov the
other half IL the result ov not knowing
the tru vLiu ov things.
luv o mountain. God made it for
yesterday, for to day. and for the length
ov all time, and man kant make nor
kounter6t one.
It IL one ov the hardest things on
earth for man to learn that he plays
kussid poor game Of whist.
The world haz menny people in it
who are very respektabel simply be-
kauze they are very proper.
A very amuzing kritter to me il .
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