The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1878-03-22
A NAN WITH A LIVER.
9ne Hawkeye Man Runs Across a!.Fellow With
His Liver Out Of Order.
Bnrdette's Railroad Letter

SA4S szsFS@ wy VI S90eGs
Z a.s
9 Burdettes Railroad Letter
had such pleasant companion on m
way home from Aurora. He got on .
Bristol and took dinner at the !" Cosmopo
itan." He sat with me at dinner an
dion't seem to haze much appetite. Il
groaned when he took up the bill of fart
and sighed as he looked across the table q
my order, and then shook his head dole
iniiy and told the waiter to bring him
iittie boiled treut with egg sauce bit G
ooiled mutton, tri1e rare; just taste @
roast lamb, turkey with cranberry sauce
mashed potatoes, roast duck, some porl
and beans, Boston style stewed tomatoes
corn, turnips. squash, a bit of cold tongue
some sharp relishes and cup of coffee
Then he ordered some assorted cake, Gran
berry pie, Indian pudding, and ice cream
for dessert, and said he felt burned sigh
more like dying than eating. ii
If he dies as we'll, ashe eats. just imagine
just think, what aglorious, triumphant
death that man will die 4z a F
Shortly after dinner the poor man came
into the coach and sat down on seat opro.
site me. E "a q. 6a.#gs .r.~-..
"Ah," he said, with deep groan, 81
don't know what wouldn't give il could
eat like you." sa5 6
Sir ~ said, in a fine burst of indigna-
tion, for feared he was going to accuse
me OF swallowing my knife every time
took bite of pie, and just made up my
mind that / would cut his heart out if he
limited at such thing.
"oh, it's fact, he replied, ~ haven't
enjoyed meal for years." ban sar ..E.
"Was it possible P,' asked in amaze.
menr. .,as.1 -.--6 +.
Indeed, yes," he said. sI'm all out of
fix, I've got no liver at all, to speak Of"
l didn't suppose one liver would be of
any account to him. rather thought if
he could get couple of gangs of livers and
work them by reliefs they might be able to
help him along, especially if he had them
made Of tin. But then he was stranger
to me and didn't feel justified in making
the suggestion. szs-sf..t 49,.
"No," he continued, "my liver is of no
more account than a lump of lead sup
pose" he said plaintively, sits as big as
four of yours sa.. ,-5.za.ey
And he looked at me wi tn an appealing
glance, as though he expected me to take my
liver out and let him examine it, as though
it were an oriode watch he wanted to trade |
for. =.3.-5- ..5. |
Now, if there is anything in this wide,
beautiful world that will make me mad, it
S to have man who is ailing sit down and
bore me with list of his diseases and
md detailed description of his anatonai-
'al arrangements. And the men Of free
America, it seems to me, would rather talk
bout their perishing livers than their
lever-dying souls, and it always makes me
mad for man to come to me and burden
ne with complaints about the torpidity of
lis liver, as though were his physician.
am proud to confess to the blindest,
ensest ignorance concerning my own in
or life. don't care whether my liver is
olnd or shaped like gun case, and don't
narr rnhnra IL jis- and i don't care a eonti-
ion that it was just under my shoulder
ladies'. 30 said to the man with great
nthusiasm:
"Oh, do tell me all about your liver! I
houid so like to know all about it. | am
lterested in such things"
The man looked little surprised at nay
ndden enthusiasm, but he said there was
ot much to tell about it. 1t was as tor
id. he said, as snake in December. +
"Oh, charming, charming" exclaimed.
And is it tanned? Do you let itrun around
rose, or do you have to keep it chained
pY''
The stranger stared and looked as though
e would like to sit a little further away.
[e said he didn't just exactly understand
le. q .ay Ii
"And how is your spleen ?'' | asked
egerly. and your ventricles? And do
sll me about your theorlc duct, and how l.
o you get along with your new tonsils
nd have you raised any new bones since
saw you last. and when did you hear from
our diaphragm? Do tell me all about
our viscers-make clinic of yourself, ,ond
,ll me the Christian name of all yous I.
ones, and the appurtenances thereunto ap-
ertaining. Tell me-. ~. saara..-f Il,
But he got up and slowly backed out Of
he car, and the conductor shortly after.
ards told me that the man with q liver
bid him that the man who escaped from
ne asylum at Jacksonville last week was
, tho roar eoaNh 5E