The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-29
PASSING SMILES.

YOUNG swell: "I should like to
have my mustache dyed" Polite bar
Der: Certainly; did you bring it with
you"
1 NoTIss one thing. The man who
rides on the kars every day is satisfied
with one seat; but the man who rides
once in year wants at least four
Josh Billings.
A LADY, who attended several public
dinners, wants to know why the chair
man can never propose the toasts of the
evening without regretting that it was
not placed in abler hands.
A RIDGEFIELD man has invented
chair which can be adjusted to eight
thousand. different positions. 1t is de-
signed for boy TO sit in when having
his hair cut.-Ddnbary Ners.
A SNOWY, dimpled cloud tossed into
| all kinds of fantastic shapes is an en-
chanting sight. 1t is delicious; but,
at the same time, it can't hold candle
| to plate of fish balls.-Puek.
IT is related of converted gambler
who attended a prayer-meeting which
was held in a gambling saloon that
he wished to cry "Amenp and said
h6uO! 1HlS uSI U0 d
THE Prince of Wales was lately on a
| visit to Bristol. After his departure
the following advertisement appeared
| in local newspaper: " The comb used
by his Royal Highness, the Prince of
Wales, last Friday, is for sale. Apply
to -, hairdresser, - street, Bristol"
AN old Irish soldier who prided him
self upon his bravery, said he had fought
in the battle of Bull Run. When asked
if he had retreated and made good his
escape, as others did on that famous
occasion, he replied, "Be jabers, those
that didn't run are there yitp-N. Y.
Mail.
A DOWNTOWN resident, native to the
land which gave Bismarck birth, re-
marked to young man, supposed to be
seriously attentive to a very handsome
niece, dot fellers' vixed. He's got
um pad. He make dot gal present ov
ring NIT dose acknowledgement
flowers on.''
THERE is something inexpressibly
thrilling in the sound of a bell at mid
night, filling the soul with strange and
gloomy fancies, more particularly if
your mother-in-law said, before leaving,
that if you were not in by ten you
might stay out the rest of the night, as
the door would be locked.
The new style of gents hat is decid-
edly tony. 1t is made of light, gauze-
like material, as transparent as mosquito
netting, and has high, stiff, round top,
through which the head shows. On
bald-headed man the effect is exhil-
arating, reminding the observer of
| uiro oouor ouar haA- of h1lftar
DoG-sELLER-"T That ere hanimaPs
the real stock, mum, and dog-cheap at
five pounds" Young widow" It's
sweet, pretty darling, black and white;
but, in my present state of bereavement,
, you procure me one entirely black.
This will do very we'll for half-mourning
in about six months. ."-English Paper.
A MOMENT
When the lightning flashes by night,
, The raindrops seem
A million jewels of light
In the moment gleam.
And often in gathering fears
} 4 moment of love
To Jewels will turn the tears
That it cannot remove.
| IF. ". BourdiGon
"Now, then, madam. please look
steadily at this place on the wal, )" said
: photographer to an old lady, when he
1 had put her in position and the plate in
the camera. The old lady looked hard
t at the spot indicated, then got up and
a walked across the floor and minutely
q inspected it, and then, turning to the
o photographer, gently remarked, "I don't
see anything there."-M Y Post.
DANBURY rejoices this season for the
e first time in its history in perambu-
. lating ice-cream cart. 1t is conven.
" fence, without doubt. but the cry of the
y vendor after ten p. m. is rather disturb
- ing to the party who is trying to get to
u sleep, as most of us are at that hour
Another drawback, and a mighty seri
:, GUS one, is to have him come around in
~ front of the house of the man who has
:, ten or twelve guests spending the even.
~ - ing with him, and who has only hall
\ dollar in his pocket. To such man
- the cry of the ice-cream vendor, and i
y is unusually loud before such house
:, - is most appalling sound.-DanbaTs
= = Neavs.
al A CLERGYMAN said that he once
10 visited lady of his parish who ha6
r. Just lost her husband in order to offel
/. her consolation, and upon her earnes
n inquiries as to the reunion of families
is in heaven, he strongly asserted his belle
re in that fact, when she asked with anxiet,
st whether any time must elapse befor
ID friends would be able to find each othe
ID in the next world, he emphatically said
n "No! they will be united at once" III
D. was thinking of the happiness of beinl
as able 10 offer the relief of such faith
ca when she broke in upon his meditation
,u by exclaiming, sadly, "Well, his frs
ds a0iite has got him, then, By this tim" i"
ne A SAN FRANCISCO correspondent @
to the Baltimore Sun relates the followin
O. curious information concerning anims
ut superstition: "Mules are much use
no here for pack goods over mountain
impractical for wheels. They are drive
loose, often twenty in lot. To pr,
vent straying, white horse with be
is put in the lead. The herd accept
90 his lead; they listen for his bell an
r never stray. But put colored hors
,1a in his place and he is not noticed. Pr
M any kind of fellow mule there and the
nj treat him with contempt. This dogge
Ia superstition seems founded on som
M as dogma to which all mules are wedde'
We If your team passes, on dark night,
a. white horse at pasture, they are sure
oh snuff ghost, snort, tremble and be OF
l."
mn "SToP that carl" cried old Mr.. Nose
do | gale chasing a flying car up Divisi(