Connecticut western news., 1878-07-11
A DexterOus ManipulatOr.

A DoXterOuS Man1pulatOr.
 I think Zephaniah Ham must have heard the story of Uncle Peter's Powder horn. I know he never read it, because reading was not one of his accomplish ments. T ......
 On brisk, crisp winters day, party of men were assembled around the great box-stove in the main office of Eastman's Hotel, at Conway Corner (Shatawque), telling stories. Peter Hines, our old jolly-faced and genial-hearted stage driver-then driving from Conway to Merldeth and Center Harbor-aud told his wonderful story of the boar which he encountered up at Swift River Falls, and the company were laughing heartily, when Zephaniah Ham, native of the soil, and an entirely unique specimen of the geusts homo, offered to tell story on his own account-to relate a most wonderful event that came under his ob- servation. He was told to go ahead, and he went on as follows:
 ''Wal, you see, Peter Hines and me, a year ago last fall, hired old Abbot's hess an wagon. an sot out for Falls Pond, arter trout. Afore we started we got a couple of pint bottles of Hi. Ab- bot, and on the way up we stopped at old Parrish's, and got 'em filled with New Rum. You see Parrish was town agent for Albany, and used to sell about as much liquor as would float schew- ner. --. .r,
 '' Up the river we went-clear away up the Falls, where we hitched the hoss, and then got across the river on some logs that had got iammed iu the jaws of the Falls. At the pond we faound the boat-a great, flat gundalo-and off we showed, and began to fish. At fust we didn't have very good luck. l cotched, p'raps, half dozen beauties afore Pete had bite Ol you shet up, Peter You know I'm tellin' it jest as twas, an I don't want you to put in your oar, ,any- how. We'll, gents, Pete couldn't git 8 bite, so he kept 6 pullin' away at his flask; the fust thing Iknowed he com pletely emptied it to the last drop. And then he wanted some of mine but l got my back up, and told him no. Says l, 'When dinner time comes, I'll give you jest drop. but you shan't guzzle 1t as you have yer own.
 "Wal, Peter were kind O wrathful at that, and I knowed he'd like to have throwed me out O the boat eff he'd a dared to we done it. Howsumever, booty soon he had right smart bite, and I had one at the same time, and as we was both haulin' with all our might, hit my bottle with my elbow, Ind over board it went There was more'n half pint of prime old rum gone to Jericho, and not another drop within six miles, if not more.
 "What should we do? You know what 'tis up in that 'ere pond-haow ole ar the water is. At ten feet ttt1you can see the little fishes and peb 'tIthe bottom jest as plain as day. Il there we saw my flask l O my eyes didn't it look tantalizin' daown thar, so far be- yant our reach.
 "B'm by, says Pete, says he, Look here, Zeph., if you'll give me half of that rum. I'll strip, and go down an git it. didn't believe that he could do 1t, but said that he might try, acd if he made success, half the rum should be his.
 Wal. he stripped m jest no time at all and takin' his own flask Tn his hand. down he went. wondered then what he wanted his own flask for, but I found out soon enough. l looked over, and seed him go down. I seed him spank side O my flask, an seed him pick it up. And then what dye s'pose he did? You'd never guess, of you should guess till doomsday. Wal-I'l tell you-and mind-I tell you it's fact-a right up an down solemn fact And this was it:
 "Thar sot old Pete Hines, flat on the bottom, and he pulled the stopple out O my flask wi his teeth, an then he poured the rum outen my flask into his'n And when he come up he had the face to de. mand full half of what he'd left in my flask; an I had to let him have it but I jest made up my mind, sort O quiet like, at that d be the last time I'd ever go anywhere fshin', or any thing else, with Peter Hines."
 Of course no one disputed the truth of Zephaniah's story.