The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1878-04-25

A BAsHFUL MANS TROUBLE
His name vas Jacobus; we used to
call him Jackass for short. Heaven
help mo II he should see this story.
Among many of his misfortunes, for
he was cock-eyed, red.haired and
knock-need, he numbered that incon-
yenient ono Of bashfulness. Never
thclcss he was fond Of the ladies, al
though when in their presence he new
or opened their mouth when he could
help It, and when he did used both
hands to help him; in fact he was a
man of great actions
Jacobus, one warm day, fell in love,
he had just graduated 1T college. and
began 10 think he must seek the ladies'
society he was getting to be . man ;
and 1t was manly to have a penchant.
So Jack fell in love with the sweet
est, liveliest, most hoydenish girl in
town, but how to. tell his Lowell There
was the rub. He had heard . good
deal Of language of the eyes and he
accordingly tried that, but when he
looked particularly hard at the win
dow where Emily was in the habit of
sitting, some person on the opposite
side Of the street would invariably
bow to him, thinking he was endeav-
(. oring to catch their eyes. He has des-
pissed eyes ever since then.
AT length Jack obtained an intro
duction through his sister, and with
her he called several times, but she
was obliged to leave the city for q
season, and as each interval only in-
creased his ardor, he determined on
going it alone.
Long before the hour fixed upon by
custom for an evening visit, he found
himself arrayed in his best. Blue coat,
metal buttons, black cashmere pants,
(said pants being little tighter than
the skin), and sp0tless vest.
The Journals Of the day state, as an
item of intelligence, that the thermom-
eter ranged from seventy-five to eigh-
ty degrees. Jack swears it was over
. hundred.
As the hour gradually drew near,
Jack found courage and perspiration
oozing out together and he almost de-
termlned to pull off and stay at home.
He concluded, however, that he would
take . walk past the house and see
how he felt. By the time he reached
the mansion, he firmly concluded not
to 60 in, but on casting his eyes to-
ward the parlor window, and perceiv.
ing no signs, he thought it possible
that no one was at home, and since he
had proceeded so far, he would pro-
ceed further and leave his card. No
sooner determined than concluded.
In reckless moment he pulled the
bell; the darned thing didn't make
such . noise. The door was opened as
IL by magic, and the servant girl po-
liteIy asked him in; Miss Emily was
alone in the parlor and would be de-
lighted to see him.
O, cracky here was q fix. Go in q
dark parlor with pretty girl alone
1t was too late to retreat; the girl had
closed the front door, and was point
ing to the parlor where Miss Emily
was.
Being perfectly convinced that no
chance was left him, into the dark
room he walked or slided. All was
perfect chaos to his eyes for moment
then from the deepest gloom came
forth an angel voice, bidding him
welcome and draw near
To obey the order was but the work
Of . moment, rs he supposed, but he
little dreamed of the obstacles fate had
thrown in his way. He knew full
well that the stream of love had many
ripples, but full grown snags entered
not into his head.
Judge, then, of his astonishment on
being tripped up, almost at the fair
ones feet, by fiat stool with pletho-
ric legs, which chance or a careless
servant had placed exactly Oh the road
to happiness.
Oyer he went, and as the tailor had
not allowed for an extra tension Of the
muscles and sinews, he NOT only pro-
cured tumble, but also a compound
fracture of the black pants aforesaid,
said fracture extending all across that
point which comes in close contact
with the chair.
Having picked himself up as care
full as circumstances would permit, he
at length succeeded in reaching chair,
and drawing his coat tails forward to
prevent . disagreeable expose, sat
himself down with as much grace as .
bear would when requested to dance
upon q pile of needles.
The young lady was almost suffo-
Gated with laughter at the sad misfor-
tune Of the bashful loYer, felt truly
sorry for him, and used all her pow
ers of fascination to drive it from his
mind, aud eventually succeeded so far
~ to induce him to make a remark.
But on this rock he split.
just at that moment she observed
that she had lost her pocket handker-
chief What has become of it? She
was sure she had it when he came in.
It must certainly be somewhere about.
Haven't you got it under you, Mr..
JacobusP
Jack was sure he had not, but poor
Jack In venturiDg an answer, could
not possibly get along without raising
his hands, and of course he must drop
his coat tail. In his anxiety to recov-
er the missing wiper he even ventured
tn inclina hia h0dx ao aa To GET n ulance