The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1878-01-15
The Days Of Stage Coaches.

A correspondent tells the following
tale Of the days of stage coaches in Cal
iiornia:
The stage drew up at his rancho one
day with passenger list so bcggarly
that it reduced the smiling Boni6acc to
statc of despair, and to an obtruse cal
culatiou of his profit and loss account.
Among the few dust bcgrimmed pas
sengers that fled in to feast on the
good things on his hospitable board,
was vcrdant looking individual, who
tightly clutched one Of those old FASH
ioned, capacious mouthed carpet-bags
with vast boweled depth, that our
grand fathers used in their journeys.
and that was usually laden with two
shirts and month's luncheon. This
particular carpet bag was notable only
Tor tho apparent extreme paucity OF its
contents, and when our verdaLt trav>
eler SUNK bashlully to the unoccupied
end OF the long dining table, and seated
himself in one of the chairs. he depos'
i,ed his dusty bag on vacant chair at
his side. So industriously did he at
tack the viands before him, that Boni-
face tapped him on the shoulder several
times before he produced a dollar, the
usual price o! u meal.
Your bill is two dollars" said Boni-
face.
Hay T.
"Two dollars, if you lease''
Gosh all mighty, landlord" he ex-
claimed. you don't mean TO say that
you tax a fellow TWO collars fol meal
like this ?"
Our charge is a dollar for every chair
occupied at the table. Your bag mon
opolizcs a seat and the charge for it is
the same as for person"
"But, Jedge, see here, how, the bag
haiu't eaten mouthful."
Cant help that; there are the vi
ands before il, and if it don't partake
oil them, it isn't my fault. Come, sir,
pay over; | haven't tune 10 argue the
matter" :"
WALL" squire, maybe its all right,
but it seems mighty rough on fellow.
Here's your two dollars"
And the owner of the bag sat down
and hastily finished his meal, amid the
audible smiles of his fellow-passengers;
and the very perceptible grin on the
landlords face. His meal done he
turned to his bag, opened it, shook out
the creases and folds, and with provo
king sang .trojd, thus addressed it, loud
enough for all in the room to hear:
81 beg your pardon, Mr.. Bag, fcr
making you wait ior the second table
Aungry, eh? | should rather think
so, with nothing inside of YOU but a
shirt and a paper collar, AMI there isn't
much substance in them. Like roast
beef, eh ? Here's nice piece weigh
luS dozen pounds | guess. Whew
YOU took that in at one gulp and 1t does
not seem to distress You either. Try
breast oflamb? can recommend 1t
Sorry the mint sauce is all out. Biscuit
Yes, here's hull plate full Biscuits
are very trying On ones digestive ma
chinery, they say; suppose you try q
couple of pateluls Of bread on top Of
them. Have a spring chicken? Two
Well. oou are cheeky, but here they
are. You don't wait to pick 'em,
see Some more biscuit? There you
have them"
Suiting his actions to these words
the owner of the bag stuffed into his
capacious interior every edible that lay
within his reach, regardless Of the con
stcrnation depicted in the face OF the
landlord. who rushed up to stop him.
This is robbery, sir, Downright rob-
b,ry r. be thuuderei.gr1 will not
submit to it, -
See here now, squire, just keep coo
and we'll'argue this" calmly replied thc
verdant one, not letting up however
in his occupation Of filling the bag
Didn't this bag pay for squire meal
What is square meal if it isn't to eat "a.
! till one is satisfied? Isn't that so gents!
His fellow pas engcrs, who were roar
inc with laughter, readily nssented.
Now that being the verdict OF tins
Jury. let me tell you Mr.. landlord, tha
this bag amt going to be s''lshed unh
i is chock full I'm its friend, and any
one that intcrGercs with its meal Will get
eternally lammed. -,
lilo meant every word Of it, and the
landlord wisely withdrew, looking
splendid example Of the bitter b'tten'