The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1878-08-14
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.

1t go? W.
yum!' -
The man who made a point-The proof
reader. eoo'
The rabbit is timid, but no cook can max
it quail.
4. A grocer both sells his goods and give
them a weigh.
Show may be purchased; but happiness is
homemade article.
Angle-w0rms, for fishing, should be dug tn
day before and left in the grass. e
These are the times that try mems soles
Sole let us be careful Of our shoes.
Two things 60 off in hurry-An arrow dis
belle. -
William Cullen Bryant was precociou
youth, and at ten years of age translated Lati1
poems.
long man trying to whisper to shor
girl resembles the letter walking with ,
period.
Don't put off until tomorrow that which
you can do to- day, unless you are going into
the poetry line.
"A collector Of coins is anxious to get .
dime from the moon after she has changed
her last quarter.
"Loye is an eternal transport" exclaimed
said practical old forwarding merchant
A correspondent wants to know whether
considering the great utility of the ocean
poets are not wrong in calling it 'Waste of
water" - =
Every one should lay up something for q
rainy day. Ii we can't do anything else, q
majority OF us can at least lay up little rheu-
matism. -
An unsuccessful lover was asked by what
m means he lost his divinity. "Alas!" cried he.
i battered her until she got too proud to
I Speaking of dancing, clergyman hits the
nail on the head with the remark that 1neo.
Pc usually 40 more evil with their tongues
than with their toes.'
one Kind word spoken to a tramp NAV
cheer his whole future life. Remember this
when you see him walking off with fifty feet
OF your garden hose. -
An unsophsticated New England CONNER
cial traveller, on reading the sign, s'General
\! Merchandlse," on store, walked in and asked
If he could see the General.
A Chicago clergyman startled his flock a
re" sunday evenings ago by telling them shell
Is not half as fnll of mean men and women as
men and women are full of hell.''
There is fortune in store for the genius
VINO can invent way of carrying home q
mackerel so it will resemble parcel contain
ing twenty-six yards of silk for his dear wife
., ~ ohm, said cockney solicitor to his son.
!, see you'll never do for an attorney, YOU
nave no henergy." ''Skusc me- father" said
Jonn, what want is some of your chickan
ary."
"Oh, yes" she SAID "pm very fond OF little
boys" and as she tripped on string stretch
ed acoss the pavement, she added; 81 feel as
though lcould eat couple of 'em this min
ute, raw
MY DEAR" asked Mrs. J. of her husband
on coming home from church the other day.
what was the sweetest thing you saw in
iaoles bonnets" "The ladies' faces" was the
bland reply. ~ wy
i, Elizabeth Allen, in a poem, asks: "oh viii
low, why forever weep?'' Elizabeth is q it,
t,e mistaken as to the facts. 1t isn't the willow
that Weeps, it is the boy who dances under
the timber end of it.
/. "A man needs to keep winter undershirt.
ian, "hot Scotch linen coat, ulster. mint i'm,
lep, sealskin cap, mosquito net and umbrella
at Dota ends OF tie line to accommodate the
WITNESSES of the thermometer.
A. coxcomb, talking Of the transmigration
OF ,aouls, said: "In the time of Moses. 7 have
no doubt was the golden calf" .sVery
likely" replied lady, "and time has robbed
you OF nothing but the gliding"
Two ancient looking grasshoppers resting
gracefully against fence and anxiously wait
ing the gro With Of the little spears of grain. is
the latest pictorial illustration of that patti
etc song, I'm the wheat bye and bye"
John, did you take the note to Mr.. Jones ",
Yes; but don't think he can read it," "Why
SO, John ?" Because he is blind, sir. While
was in the room, he axed me twice where nv
nat was; and twas on my head all the time.'.
The owner Of a pair of bright eyes saws
that the prettiest compliment she ever re-.
c ..ei came from child of four years. The
little fellow, after looking intently at her ewes
moment, inquired naiyely, "Are your ewes
new ones?'
A steamer plying in California keeps q
Il sheep on board, which goes out on
the gang plank when flock is to be loaded.
70 snow that the approach is safe, and to act
as pilot for the herd, which readily follows
it on to the boat.
j, little girl was reproved for playing out
doors with the boys, and informed that, being
seven Years old, she was "too big for that |
now" But with all imaginable Innocence,
! replied, "Why, the bigger we grow the
The dried kernel Of the cocoanut, called in
the South Sea Islands "copra," is being turn
60 TO new account. Hitherto it has only
oeen used for making oil, but it has been
discovered that after having served that pur-
pose 1t is valuable cattle food
j., - SoAAA Se1o 10 q AuOIt luucpcuUcQC animal
IMAM man. When man comes home at 2 or
o'clock in the morning he slips in as quietly
as possible, but tom cat don't seem to care.
Inc later the hour, and the nearer the house
1t approaches, the louder it yells.
,"Ma, has your tongue got legs?" scot
what; child?" "Got legs, maw Certainly
not; but why do you ask that question: 20
nothing; only heard pa say that your tongue
was running from morning till night.n Then
pa had to take another "running."
Mother Ito sixteen-year-old daughter)-.so
you enjoyed your walk, Kate Did
you go all the distance alonew Daughter
~, yes, mamma, quite alone" Objectionable
Younger Brother-"Then how is it, Kit, that
you took out an umbrella and brought home
a walking-stick?'
A soldier was sentenced, for deserving, to
have his ear cut off. After undergoing The or
zeal, ne was escorted out of the COURTYARD
to the tune Of "Rogues March, He then
turned, and, in mock dignity, thus addressed
the musicians: "Gentlemen, [ thank Won: hut
have no ear for music"
Il The fashion reporter who wrote with refer.
ence to a belle, "Her dainty feet were encased
in shoes that might be taken for fairy boots. .
tied his wordrobe up in handkerchief and
left for parts unknown when it appeared the
next morning: Her dirty feet were eacased
IN shoes thaG might be taken for ferry-boats. !"
. He said the pastry was ever SO much better
made by her hands. This delighted her. But