The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-02-15
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Victor Hugo favorg woman gulFra,

A man never uses his thuinb-nail for
screw-driver but once.
An exchange says turkeys are raised
best on charcoal We hops to raise
ours on ferk.
England grOwls, but is afraid to get |
up and knock the chip Of Russia's
shoulder.
At . Temperance revival in Clinton,
Iowa, the other day 1853 persons sign
ed the plodge.
Judge Westbroek reminded Utica |
grand jury that church lotteries are as
unlawful as any others.
Gen. Joseph E. JohnBtone is Demo
Garlic candidate fer Congress from the
Richmsnd (va.,) District.
The House Of Representatives Of
Congress has passed a resolution against
any more subsidies. Coed
A man who had scolding wife, be-
ing asked what he did for living re-
piled, that he kept hot-heuse.
An intelligent German thus express
ed his preference for quack doctor II
wouldn't call him av mine cat vas
dead"
A kitten that Is drowned before it
gets its eyes open is saved the pain Of
growing up and getting its tail pinched
BY the wesdshed door.
An old bachelor seeing the words
"familiss supplied" over door of q
shop stepped in and said he would
take wife and two children.
A man in Huron, N. H., has sued
the dilatory lover of his daughter for
$500 for room rent, fuel and lights du-
ring four years of courtshiP.
Tive babies were born at Cheyenne,
Wyoming, the other night, and their
respective parents had only been mar
ried the previous day. This is rushing
business.
An Indian said, when be first heard
it, he was surprised that the white men
killed their Savior, bat since he knew
them, he wondered they did not steal
his clothes.
A. Bosten society resolves that "busi-
ness is piracy, government coercion, and
churches brotherhoods Of thieves"
Wonder what these fellows do for a
liviag snyhowl
4 Chicago man got divorce from
his wife because she PERSISTED in put
ting her cold feet to his back in bed
Wives keep down yeur feet and take
hot brick to bed
A dellar loaned at 10 per cent in
tsrest, compounded annually, viii At the
end of one hundred years, amount to
81 ,174,405 But where in thunder is
fellow to get the dollari
4 school house lot in a New Hamp-
shire district stands in three towns, so
that the pupils sit in Rindge, the
teachers in New Ipswich, and recess
is taken in AshPurnham, Mas.
Teads are getting commercial value
in Europe, some one, probably in the
toad trade, having successfully promul-
gated the theory that if toad has a
weakness it is for Colorado beetles.
The following remarkable entry ap-
pears on the registry list of Stanislaus
county, CAL: "JohE L. Crawford; vo-
ting number, 1913; register namber,
sos; age 90; country of nativity,
England occupation, hog thief
'Seme cOnfounded idiot has pat that
pen where 1 can't find itF grewled a
Radical editor the other day, as he
searched about the desk. "Ah, um, yesi
l thSughtr he exclaimed in lever
key, as he took the article from behind
his ear
A young man just engaged on a
ranch in Turokee, Cal, was set to driv-
ing yoke of cattle, and at noon, when
he wanted to feed them, he was ebserv
cd trying to unscrew their horns IN
order to get the yoke off the animals.
A Fairfield turkey walked into the
house the ether morning, swallowed a
800 bill that the man of the house
dropped on the carpet, all rolled up in
a wad, and with a wild gobble Of
amazemsnt, ran off into the painless
forest to await the passage of the silver
bill.
A lady riding on slow train hand.
ed the conductor halffare ticket for /:
her boy. The conductor looked at the
young Anikim, and said: Rather a
large boy for halffare." eyes," replied
The mother, $50 he is now. It was all
right, though when I bought the ticket;
but you see, he's grown SO much since !
We startedP The conductor passed On.
They have been engaged for long !
lime, and one evening not long since
hey were reading the paper together.
Look, love-" he exclaimed, 'only $20 I
or suit of clethes" els it wedding 1
Iuit4" she asked, looking naively at her c
ever. "Oh, no." he answered, "it's c