The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1878-05-12
CHAT BY THE WAY.


CHAT By THE WAY.
II man win no, keep his simple word. he'll dodge
his bond II ne can.
II man Is stricken with the mania or speculation
he is very apt at point in hts career, 10 grow
careless and leave or the ''s."
Opera airs in church out Of place. "That's the
organ" eaid the mother TO her liitlc child, who
church the first time. 'The organ : But where
rs the monkey, mother?" asked the child. Then,
when tho latest air from the latest opera rolled
through the building, tho mother whispered she
looked at tho organist 81 him, DEAR but you
can't"
Tho good deeds OF life are the notes o, a beautiful
song which tho angels sing 70 US as VIC walk through
the dark valley OF the shadow OF death.
good name is like the cloud OF incense which re-
mains in the church long sftcr tho fire In the
has gone out
If wants 4 little moro than any Of his neigh
bors have It is hard TO make him happy, but II ne
wants only what ne absolutely needs he DO happy
anywhere.
Unless you manage to enjoy = little tit OF heaven
hore you will not be likely TO have very much Of
hereafter.
One OF tho papers, after commenting in glowing Ian
guagc the splendid oraory Of Rev Or. storrs, OF
Brooklyn, adds that no could say "Remove that
poodle dog from the pew in such way that
every person in the church would DO thrilled.
rho anticipation OF possible or imaginary evils Is
our great bane. An English proverb says, truly.
"Our misfortunes those that never beial
u.s..
Mr. Moody advised his hearers TO .'eschew tobacco
in all iorms.n An iliiterate young man says that he
has faith fully triod to do but It made him
that he would rather DO saved tho only way
10 chew tobacco.
Tho morality OF some people goes just for enough TO
enable them to resist the temptation 10 steal straw
berries unless they nd the sugar and cream
TO them with II is not the appropriation OF what
belong to them, but their inability TO take
exactly what thcy want that seems to trouble them.
This Is boys composition on girls but ne evidently
had mans head on his young shoulders. What he
learned by shrewd observation Others have learned by
experience. Hc says:-.Girls is the only folks that
has their own way every time Girls IL OF several
thousand kinds. and sometimes ono girl can be like
several thousand other girls II she wants to do any
thing This is all know about girls and father says
the less know about them tho better OF am"
There is a genuine ring about this colorcd sermon.
colorca only 10 It's photography. The tinted John
son got hold OF bottom tact on which 10 base his
theory. and II would do harm II II found its why
among the pale faces. "Breddren, my Experience Is
dat amt dc pcrfession OF 'ligion, but do 'casona
practice OF II dat makes 'ceptablc up yondcr.
When yer gifts to de golden gate an Peter looks
right In eye and yor shows him yer long an
says pompous Ike dat yer 'ionged do big 'Pisco
opian Church. do 'Posle III shake hts head an say.
dat amt nun Tor get ycr through But yer takes
oil yer bills under yer arm yer grocer bills yer
rent bills, an no looks 'em an finds 'cm all
csptci. he'll say, Yer titles clcar' an unlock dc
cato am let yer pitch yer for de angels song.
But amt no use irabbci along dat path
less yer can kerry folied up In yer creed, good
Recommendation from yer creditors Hebben Amt
place fur a who has to dodge roun' corner fur
lear OBJ mcctin' who'll fur dat iistlc bill
dat nobber was paid"
There are great many people In this world who,
though not OF IT, tako their look at life through
. glass eye The gentleman who borrows funds Tor
immediate from another mans safe, with the Arm
expectation OF putting the money back when his
speculation in mining stocks turns out vol; tho
cashier who skiituily .rases'' motto from tho
humble TO tho higher srvie Of numerals, aud the
clerk who write his employers name perfectly
that no expert tell the difference, intending to
buy country scat and spend his declining years as
ornament to tho Church, arc all looking through
glass eyes, Better cling to tho old-ashoncd ortho-
doxy, with Its botiomless pit and It's brmstoncits
plain Saxon Tor shonesty and crime-than TO dance
on tho platform with which modern advanced
thought has covered that pit (which It cannot ni up)
q
too much OF glass eye theology morality among
men just now.
The photograph will undoubtedly prove a valuable
invention, but IL must DO confessed that It has its
tragic side Tho fact is Is going TO prove univor-
sui eavesdroppcr and toll somo things which had
better DO kept secret Suppose, for instance. that IL
records tho tondcr vows which lovers whisper, the
BABY talk Of tho FIRST years Of married life, aud that
these records compared with the unromanlic
prose OF after time whom tho dinner Is late the
steak ovcrdono the husband returns In tho small
hours from the club. Suppose, again. that two vis.
In the parlor commenting tho lady OF the
house before she makes her appearance, and then
their delicate 1attcry as she
enters and that In the midst OF tho call the ntoran
phonograph repeats the criticism. The trouble with
that Instrument Is that It's too long, and that
IL can't hold It's tongue IL knows how TO speak but
NOT how TO be dumb. We must either reform or
abolish tue invention The phonograph Is an in
sirument which can be appreciated only by COM
IN unhy which has been deeply affected by Moody and
sankcy.
The Rev. DR. Putnam, Of Boston, who recently died,
was asked In his old age to engage . colleague He
replied, ono, l would rather preach poor sermons
myself than listen 10 them from others and so con-
tnucd - NIL his pulpit until within q very short time
The bepuzzlemcnts OF tho English language must
BIO something fearful 10 a nervous foreigner The
padded cell OF the maniac would DO tho destination Of
any one who attempted to comprehend tho follow
ing
Tho dyer dycs awhile, thcn dies
To aye he's always trying;
Until upon his dying he'd
lilo thinks no more OF dycing.
" through extreme tenactty OF lite bc survives this
ordeal those other lines will certainly mako him con-
template suicide With sigh OF Intense relief IL they
make one ITO tue manner born" dizzy what must be
their effect on ono who taxing his nrss scps
tho quicksaud OF our mother tonguef--
A scribe Tn writing right may wrrs
IL write and still DO wrong;