The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-04-04
Steady Diet From the Breakfast Table.

Now let us have law to pay the
salaries of county treasurers in silver
dollars.
AN honest man is the most lonesome
work of the Creator.-Rome Sentinel.
Yes, yes-we find it so.
WHAT dull set of fnanciers those
Hollanders arei They haven't had a
bank failure over there for forty years.
WHEN you look around you at church,
during dull sermon, don't you find it
a little difficult to realize that thousands
of people die every year for want of
sleep?
LIFE is not so full of attractions to the
small boy of to-day as it was to his
father. A generation ago there were
nearly fifty circus shows on the road,
bit this year there are only thirteen.
DIR. MARY WALKER knocked cigar
ou6 of mans mouth the other day, and
now she can bang her hat down over
one ear and expectorate through her
clenched teeth whenever she wants to.
"CoLD corned beef is the best for max
ing hash, I" saws cookbook. 1t may be,
possibly, but we dare say, the kind with
potato pairing basis will continue to
hold its own in the orthodox boarding
house.
THE cup of human bliss is about as
full as it can ever become without strain
ing the goblet, when the tiny, bright-eyed
little toddler bids goodbye to gowns
and sashes and finds himself IN his first
pair of pantaloons.
WHEN the scientists get through
quibbling about the number of molecules
in head of cabbage, waiting world
would like to know why it is the woman
who stands in market is always as fat as
a hogshead of lard.
AN agricultural contemporary wants to
know how we can teach boy busi-
ness habits better than by giving him
an opportunity to run a hennery." We
don't know, unless you try swapping
jack-knives and things with him.
A GOOD deal is being said about the
motto on the new silver dollar" In
God we Trust" Origins says, only let
him get his claws on the dollar, and
he won't worry much about the " trust !"
he can shell out the cash as he goes
along.
We see it stated in a scientific jour
nal that every adult man has fourteen
hundred square feet of lungs. Thatmay
be about the right figure, but we can
name people who would walk mile to
4 find chance to bet that the man who
4 sells fish in the suburbs has more than
two thousand.
The man who goes through the world
signing his name with a. cross is ia
vored being in some respects. He never
loses sleep worrying about who wrote
the " Junius" letters, and the hell con.
troversy may have been ended ten years
before he gets taste of it-of the con
troversy, we mean.
The man capable of defrauding q
widow would be guilty of chasing a mos
quito for its fat, says Western editor
We won't contradict, but if all such
would do so, it's the opinion of one
humble individual that the file-voiced
bird of night would soon look mighty
haggard around the jaws. =
ABOUT the first time a young mai
wakes up to the fact that he has made
a fool of himself is when he bends owe
the looking-glass and sets out on littl'
exploring expedition to find out abou
how much of his upper lip has ESCAPED
annihilation by the first encounter of hi
mustache with the barber's dye-stuf. :.
BREHM, the German author, in hi
volume on "Animal Life" devotes six
teen pages to the mouse, and never one
intimates that it will leave a warm mes
in the heart of an old cheese, on tn
coldest night, to eat up a printing -ofic
paste-brush. And yet he has built up
reputation for being thorough and ex
/. haustive.
A YOUNG lady in one of our school
| took Water" as a theme for her com
, position, and filled sixteen pages wit
| what she knew about it. And yet yo
might walk into almost any crow
around dog fight, and pick out men b
their noses, who could exhaust their il
formation on the subject without usin
! over sixteen words.
a THE short skirt for ladies' dresses wi