The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1878-12-07
MY MOTHER-IN-LAW.
A WiFe's Confession.

L
Jo so m This resnect am neither better nc
worse than my neighbors No, certain
did not marry for love l believe i Marie
Mr.. Cartwright simply because he asked me
This is how it happened: lie was the he'
for of Devotion, and we lived at the ManO
House which was about ten minutes wal
ffom the church and the rectory. we ha
daily service at Devotion, and | nearly Away
attended il. and ii came to pass that MT. Carr
wright invariably walked home with me. l
was n matter of custom, now, and though
nothing oft; it pleased him, and on the whol
1t was rather pleasing to me also.
must confess, however, was rather sur
prised when, one morning as we got to the Nv
enue which led up to the Manor House. MT
Cartwright asked me TO be his wife.
I have never been able to find out why sale
YES, but did, perhaps thought it pity Il
throw away so much love; perhaps II was &c
cause he was so terribly in earnest that dare'
not refuse him; perhaps feared his pale face
and his low, pleading voice, would ever haun
me if | rejected his love- or perhaps II was
because he only asked me to marry him-ht
did not ask me if loved him, for think nj
guessed did not; perhaps it was oil these rea
sons nut together, but anyhow said yes, and
in due time we were married.
| ought to have been very happy, for he was
A most devoted husband but was not, and
though did not notice it then, know now
that for the first six months after our marriage
he was not happy either:
1t was all my fault either would not or
could not love him; ! accepted all his devo
ton to me as matter OF course, Dut maze
no effort to return it; and | am sure he had
found ont that he had made mistake IN mar
rying woman who did not love him.
hon al
marriage, he told me at breakfast that he in
tended to leave me alone for a few weeks to
stay with his mother, who was not well lie
watched the effect of this announcement on
me. but though was really displeased, con
cealed my annoyance and asked, carelessly,
when he would start.
He replied, the next day, if had no object
ton, and so it was settled.
He was more atlcctionate than usual that
day, and was colder than ever; | only once
alluded to his Journey, and that was to ask if
might have my sister Maud to stay while he
was gone,
The next morning | was anxious to avoid
formal parting, so drove to the station with
him: as the train moved off, | remembered
this was our first parting since our marriage,
and | wished had not been so cold.
When got home the house looked so dreary
and empty, and there was no one to meet me;
presently one of the servants came for Sthe
shawls, and with her Nero, MIR. Cartwrights
retriever. who, when he saw | was alone, set
up "a howl for his master patted him and
tried to comfort INN, feeling rcbukcd by his
grief, as he followed me, whining, into the
house Every room seemed empty, and each
spoke of the absent master; at last wandered
into his study, where he spent his mornings,
and liked me to sit and work ard now re-
membered how often ] had excused myself,
saying preferred the drawing room and this
reflection did not add to my happiness.
There was photograph Of me standing on
his writing table, and another on the chimney
piece; on the walls hung two or three of my
drawings, which he had begged of me when
we were engaged; indeed the room was full of
little remembrances of me; opened n book
had given him, and IN it was his name in my
handwriting, and underneath in his own,
From my darling wife" | laid ii down with
IA sigh, rs | thought how carefully he had
treasured everything | had ever given him.
and then how little care took of all his gifts
10 me.
Everything attempted, everything look
cd at, reminded me Of his goodness to me- and
my GOODNESS and ingratitude to him, At last
| went to bed, where after working myself
the end of his journey in safety, | at lenght
cried myself to sleep.
The next morning went down to breakfast
with heavy heart, for knew that | could
not hear from him till the next day. 1t SEEM
ed SO strange to breakfast alone and Nero APP
peared to think so too, for he was most unhap-
py, smiling round his masters chair in the
most melancholy manner.
My plate for the first time since my mar
riage, was empty when sat down to breakfast
for my husband, who was an early riser, al
ways had little b0quet to greet me with every
morning; frequently forgot all about 1t, and
lett 1t to be put into water by the servant; this
morning would have treasured it most care
fully, if he had gathered it.
After breakfast | determined to rouse my
self, and go and visit some of the poor people
in the village; 50 | filled my basket with
some little deicacies for the sick, and set out
Wherever | went it was the same story; all
held forth on my husbands goodness and kind
ness, for all had been helped by him in some
way or other and all loved and respected him
As listened with burning cheeks, | felt rs #
| was the only person on earth who had treat
ed him with cruel ingratitude, and ! was the
very person he most loved and cherished.
At last went home, tired and sick at heart
but there was no one TO notice | was pale and
worn out, no one to get me wine and soup to
revive me, no one to make me lie down and
rest as he would have done had he been there,
o, how missed him. What Il fool | had
been Was there ever woman loved and cared
for as had been? Was there ever friend so
ungrateful? o! why had ever let him leave
mey | was sure hc would never come back.
Why had he gone away?
And conscience answered, you drove him;
he gave you all he had to give, and IN return
you gave him nothing but cold looks and I'M
kind words; ana so he left you, to seek love
and sympathy from his mother"
This thought almost maddened me; in fan.
ey ! saw her sitting by his side, loving and
carressing him. as had the best right to love
and carress him; pictured her receiving ten
derby the little acts had received so coldly,
and now ! was seized with a jealous anger
against her. | mentally accused her Of Is
tranging my husband from me, and of trying
10 win his love from me- as though his heart
was not large enough for both of us.
When Maud arrived in the afternoon treat
cd her tn a Ion TRADE of ablse against mother.