The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1878-08-29
DRIC-I-UItAC,

Recipe for whipping Indians
First catch your Indians.
If the clovo smells sweet, must
not the clover smell sweeter
Misery docs not always lovo COM
pany, if the company happens to be
mosquitoes.
Why is dishonest bankrupt like
an honest poor man7 Because they
fail to got rich.
If your foot is asleep, do not be
alarmed tho poet tells us that tho
soul is not dead that slupbers.
An air-tight trunk is tho latest
novelty. Tho key~hole is hung on q
strap fastened to the handlo.-
,Dandazry Neaos.
The power which tho toad has of
initiating his body is q power of
defense, to prevent tho possibility
OF being swallowed by snakes.
The boy who gees a fishing on
Sunday, whom he has been sent to
Sunday school, generally goes q
whaling when he gets homo
The difference between the ordi-
nary seamen and tho captain who
uses the ropes end freely is : The
former tars the ropes, and che latter
ropes the tars.
A devoted husband says the
phonograph is simply q machine
that stalks back" and he has had
one of that kind in his house eyer
since he was married.
Shooting women from cannon is
the new attraction of Paris circus.
They are thrown some thirty feet
and land in q strong netting.
A. locksmith, whose name was
Geese, placed the figures of several
of these birds upon his sign. thus
showing that he was too smart to
be called goose,
The Bible has been printed in
thirty different languages for the
benefit of aborigines of this coun-
try and Of Greenland, British
America and Mexico.
It has been discovered that the
noise made by bees is lament
Detroit Eree Press. Especially
when they use a short-haired boy
for phonograph.-CSasci,a,sati
Conamercial
There are many things which
disconcert the average young lady,
aud one Of them is, while reading
an intensely interesting novel, to
discover that in tho most exciting
part there is chapter torn out.
Making tho best of it is q good
rule for everybody. "What is the
mattor?" asked @ lawyer Of his
coachman. "The horses are run
ming away, sir" "Can you not pull
them up 2" II am afraid not"
"Thcn," said the lawyer, after judi
cial delay-"Run into something
Cheap"
A queer mistake occurred on the
British expedition to Cyprus. Nine
ty mail carts were despatched from
Malta, with bags of tent~pegs in
mistake for Inch pins. The carts,
of course, were useless without the
inch~pins, and the tent-pegs did not
seem, apart from the tents, to be
particularly valuable.
Prof. Haeckel, of Jena, has an-
swered Prof. Yirchow's famous
speech delivered at Munich at t..-
meeting of German naturalists and
Yirchow had denied
that evolution could cyor change an
apo into man. Haeckel reasserts
the possibility, and more than pos
sibility, of that change, and repre-
sents Virchow rs THO ally Of the
Jesuits.
Mile. Dodu, q young telegraph
operator, who distinguished herself
during the Franco German wal by
M act Of courage and devoti on, has
becn decorated with the Cross Of
the Legion of Honor Shut up in a
chamber through which the tele>
graph wires conveying dispatches
to the German army passed, she de-
stroyed the connection at the risk of
her life.
A Frenchman is Interpreting
Indian names. He says the Sioux
Indians namo their papooses after
events happening at tho timo of their
birth. As illustrative of this pecu-
liar trait, Red Cloud is known to
have taken that name from the fact