The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1878-12-19
FLASHES.
4 fli-t-Sofa and no father.

time is 1t
Uneasy lies the head that tells good
many of them.
Everybody laughs at monkey, but
NO ono respects him.
In Georgia many marriages are post
poned until the price Of cotton rises.
Why not call smart dog a clever
man ? We call smart man a clever
dog, you know
The road to ruin is always kept in
good order, and those who travel it pay
the expenses.
About as low down as a man can get
and not spoil, is to live on his wife's
reputation.
He saw a negro smoking new r,eer>
schaum. "Thunder !" lie exclaimed.
Why tho pipes coloring him."
A colorado girl, Miss Eunice Stone,
always kisses the editors she visits. Oh
Eu-nice Stone.
The man who had fat woman for
his first wife is new courting girl call
ed Lena.
There's only one thing stronger than
woman's will, and that's woman's
won't"
Mrs. Partington SAYS the only way
to prevent steamboat explosions is to
make engineers bile the water on shore.
A man named Smith, of New York,
dropped dead on receiving the news
that he had been elected to Congress.
He preferred death to dishonor.
The girls like the new song, "Put
your armor on, my boys" 1t sounds
so much like Put your arm around me,
boys"
An up-back farmer who has four
daughters with steady company"
complains bitterly Of the high price OF
kerosene per gal"
Choya .MinJun is the name ofa pa
per in Japon: We ko not know what
kind of bun a .Minbun is, but We have
often seen dog that would chaw your
shinboue if you fooled with him.
After a long and varied experience
We have come to the conclusion that the
last debt man pays is that which
should have been paid first, and that is
the newspaper account.
"Why, my dears," said an aged spin
stcr aunt to her nieces, I'm shocked to
hear YOU wish for buoyant spirits Girls
should be girls in spirits as well as in
ether things"
"That parrot Of mine is wonderful
bird" said Smithers; che cries stop
theft so naturally thct every time 1
hear it I always stop What are you
laughing at, any way ~
The rage of expensive funerals is
strong even iu death. "Are you pre-
pared for the great change?" asked a
minister of one Of the venerable Smiths.
II am afraid Iot," said John, sadly;
"the means for the occasion are INSULT
cient."
That was q good reply the young fel-
low made at a wedding party the other
might, as he was assisting the ladies to
remove their wraps, and was asked if
he "was ready with his ring" and he
said, "Oh yes; I'm peeiing the bellies
now"
"Sir," said lady to would-be wag,
"your jokes always put me in mind of a
ball." "Of ball, madam! Why so,
pray?" because they never have any
point"
The editor of Republican paper in
Michigan opposed the candidate of his
party for clerk, for which be was set
upon by bis late associates and tarred
and feathered.
An Iowa man, learning that he could
not live many days, willed his property,
amounting to $4,000, to a man and
woman who had been friendly to him.
Be kind to the rich.
A widower had Eve grown daughters,
who wouldn't let him take second wife
He gave up the wife, but bought
savage dog and now won't allow man
to cross his door-sill. Ifhe can't marry,
the girls shan't, he says.
A little boy ran away from home, and
while enjoying himself in forbidden
fields thunder storm came up, and it
began to hail. his guilty conscience
needed no accuser. Running home he
burst into the presence Of his astonished
mamma, exclaiming breathlessly: "Ma,
ma, Gods frowiug stones at me!'
An editor wrote leading article 90
the fair sex, in the course of which he
said "Girls of seventeen or eighteen
are very fond Of beaux." When the
paper was issued, he was rather shocked
to discover that an unfortunate typo.
graphical error made him say: "Girls
of seventeen or eighteen are very fond
of beans" {,