Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1878-08-30
First Words Of the Phonogranh.

In all that has been written con-
cerning the Edison phonograph," said
grandfather Lickshingle yesterday, ''the
first words uttered by the machine have
not been mentioned. Mr.. Edison
doubtless has delicacy in giving them
to reporters, but as it is O matter of
national interest, and as 1 was the only
other person present in his workshop at
Menlo Park when the phonograph first
gave utterance, ! feel it my duty to
speak up"
"Why, grandfather, when were you
at Menlo Park? You have scarcely
been out of your armchair in two
years" said one of tlte children.
Without seeming to hear this, grand
father went on:
You know Mr.. Edison worked a
long time at his machine, and met with
many exasperating difficulties. He told
me himself that he had often felt like
kicking the blamed thing into the street.
But he didn't. He worked away at it
night and day, and when anything went
wrong restrained himself as we'll as he
could.
"When he asked me into his shop to
look at the machine, he had no idea it
was as nearly perfect as it proved to be.
He put on a new tinfoil, tightened some
of the screws and things, and explained
to me how he expected it to work after
while. After monkeying around it
for few minutes, he took hold of the
crank and gave it a whirl or two. It
gave screech like Comanche, and we
both involuntarily felt of our scalps to
see if they were all right.
"Mr. Edison was the first to recover
himself, and remarked facetiously that
he didn't know it was loaded.
He tinkered little more on the in
side of the thing, creased the piston or
something. and started her up. The
first turn of the crank brought out in a
wheezy soft of tone:
"fConfound the confounded thing to
contamination and be confounded to it 7
This confused Mr.. Edison somewhat.
and thought he wished he had not in
vited me in. I could see quite plainly
that he had rather it had said something
else, but he was at the same time so
much elevated that it should say any
ohAllS hV utldu ilO W
the crank and the machine continued to
talk. 1t was terrible to hear it. For
Instance:
"Ye blamed old fraud of thing,
amt ye never goin' to talk3 Yer worse
than the Keely motor, and for two cents
I'd throw yer into the riverp
"'What does it mean p I ventured to
ask Mr.. Edison.
"Blest if I can tell, he replied, and
continued to turn the crank.
"'Ify ye don't talk before the Fourth of
july yelled the machine in an angry,
desperate tone; 'if ye don't talk before
the Fourth of July I'll smash We with an
ak and sell ye for old junk, Now, listen
ter me, and it ratified the words out as
if some one was shaking it. I've fooled
with ye about as long as I intend ter,
an the next thing ye know ye won't
know nothin'.'
''Mr. Edison was completely over
come, and leaned up against work
bench for support.
81 took hold of the crank, and turned
it, and the machine yelled at the top of
it's voice:
"'Blame it all, amt ye never goin'
to saya word2 Here I've spent over
$75 on ye, and still yer dumber than a
rotten oyster I'll put on some fresh
tinfoil, file off the dufunny little, an
give ye one more chance! If ye don't
speak up then I'll kick the stuffin' out of
ye, so help me-"
"Here," said grandfather, "Mr. Edi-
son implored me to leave the ma chin
alone, as its language was disgrace to
civilization. oil city Derrick.