The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1878-04-02
COMICALlTIBS.

A wELLrKNowN girl of the period
En- Bezzle.
The kind of COW that can travel over
western roads this season is the mud
(s)cow.
Now you may begin to hear the crow
squawk and see the little crocus.-M Y
Herald.
MULES are only $35 in Alabama. Get;
one; it is not good for a man to be alone.
-Worcester Press.
A LITTLE boy asked his father the
other day if the fight between the
BOOSTERS and Turkeys was over.
It is becoming fashionable to spray the
hair with cologne. Let us spray.-N
Y Herald.
LIFE having become a burden to the
Turk, the car says, with sweet Hiber.
MAN accent, Let me Asia all I CAM
Fat Contributor.
The Arkansas Hot Springs were burn
ed. We've been afraid they were get
ting that water too hot.-Philadel1hia
Bulletin.
In the spring the young mans fancy
Lightly turns to thought of-What?
And the first who dares to answer
Will be shooted on the spot.
-.Worcester Press
Mum sociables originated in the bar.
Der shops years ago. The customer has
the mum and the barber the sociable,-
Rome Sentinel.
"FELT slippers" a sign on fremont
row, makes bad little boys tremble as
they pass, they've felt 'em 50 often.-
Boston advertiser.
THE father of this country hasn't
monument yet; but there is a burglar
alarm connected with this tomb Kor-
cester Press.
LITTLE boy, when your mother turns
you across her knee, you're transparent,
Boston Post. Because, you see, she
puts panes into you.-M Y Mail.
We suppose a good many men will
throw up their hats and yell for Joy when
they learn that " the coming bonnet is a
capote of shirred silk with tulle cap
under it."
"THE demand for trade dollars con-
tinues," says an exchange. Well, we
should say SO. The demand for all
kinds of dollars in these parts is away
ahead of the supply.
"WHATs in name? We hear of
new novel called The Missing Will If
the female be of the Rhoda Broughton
advanced female order, the title should
have been the Willing Miss" -Punch.
A HEN-PECKED husband of Brooklyn
says that his wife is a regular " vertigo"
|-Danbury Neacs. Abiding, probably,
to the violent way in which she flies to
his head.-Philaaelphia Bulletin.
WHEN the friends Of Mrs. Jane Smith,
Of Wayne county, Me-, helped her cele-
brate her Goth birthday recently, she
bored them by reciting a poem of 70
stanzas, which she learned 80 years ago
and ought to have forgotten.
VAssAR college lisa sweet place. When
the astronomical class plays billiards, the
girls say, " Now, Louise, caramel on the
red pop corn ball." "There's kiss on
the white" "Pocket Mary's marsh.
mellow, Jennie" Then they all 60 up
into the observatory AID sing, "Treacle,
treacle, little star" -Herald P. l.
LOGICAL conundrum proposed by an
Essex county minister to his children in
vacation, and when he was not well:
eff there had been no cats in the world,
and if the people had called bumble-bees
cats, would there then have been cats?"
SOLIDS: Young lady assistant Cat the
close of the "school treat -"Shall l
give you some more tea, my dear, before
you go7 Or what would you like to
have now?" Sturdy infant Vittles'"
Punch.
WHEN you see a young lady student
from Doric Hall Seminary, with a ab-
sorbed look in her eyes and her lips rap
idly moving, she may be memorizing,
passage from Virgil, and, then again, she
may be only chewing gum.-Stamt"@
Aduocate.
"WHAT is your occupation, bub?
said visitor at the capitol, Of brlght
boy whom he met in the corridor. Inc
boy happened to be page in the house
II am running for congress, sir" he re-
piled. '''s0g!. s%0r
r A GOOD little boy who was kicked by
mule didn't say any naughty words OF
60 home crying to his mother. He Just
tied the mule within five feet OF the
beehive, backed him round to it, and let
him kick.
"rWELL, / swan, Billy" said an old
farmer to an understood nephew VINO
was visiting him, "when you take Oh
that ere plug hat and spit two or three
times there aim. much left Of you, Is
tharW aT.. t s- ls..a
DIR. NEwCoMB says: $50 small is the
earth, compared with the celestial spaces,
that if one should shut his eyes and tlre
at random in the air, the chance Of bring
ing down q bird would be better than
that of comet of any kind striking the
EARTH" M n... t..-,
For guileless innocence the following
advertisement, clipped from the Paris
Figaro, ought to take the palm: "A
young married couple desire to know
lady or gentleman without heirs VINO
would give a fortune to some young
married couple" yr.,
A SAN JOSE lady, who it was supposed
had gone to the theatre, saw her HUSBAND ,
hugging and kissing the servant glrlya
whereupon she knocked him senseits
with a poker, and broke the nose OF Inc
girl. But she had to- pay $500 tor the
fun-out of her husbands money.
Is there a woman in all this broad,
sunny land of ours who doesn't believe
that carving knives were created anu
kept sharp and nice for the sole pur-
pose of splitting kindling and opening
fruit cans?-St. Louis Journal. YES
there are hundreds Of them women VINO
think such knife the only thing ever
invented for gouging grass from between
the bricks in the sidewalk, and digging
holes to plant garden seed.-Norr1sto'0n