Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1878-02-13
Published every Wednesday and Saturday
morning, by
FRANK KENYON.
TERMS:
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.

OdOr is woman's first law.
Parental acres-Father's corns.
Whaling grounds -School-houses.
A capital misunderstanding mon
ey.
Principal meal of the day-Oat-
meal.
Musical execution-Hsnging upon
o note.
A miners lsmentation-Vein ! vein !
give ore.
Not a plain picture-A view of
the Alps.
The young ladies questiou-Is he
,marriedS
Dumb be!les-Presty girls at the
deaf aud dumb asylum.
Difficult man 10 diyorce-0nel
welded to his own ideas.
The most patient objects in the
shane Of humanity-Statues.
Why is a palm-trre hkc-a chronolo-
gerl Because 1t furnishes dates.
The Intermediates fall in Oc-
tober; fall leaves in November.
When is man four-handed ami
MALI When he doubles his fists.
An exchange says that old maids
are now called "left-over women"
How to prevent your hair from
turning graya-Make up your mind
to dye.
When is a dog most like a human
bein9l When he is between man
and boy.
Blind Tom, the pianist, says he can
tell a WON q with snarp nose by tile
sound of her voice.
The persons who most frequently
visit the watering places in the sum.
mer are the milkmen.
In the official list of distin-
guished dead of 1877 we.do not note
the name of single lecturer.
A poor fellow who was compelled
to pawn his watch said that he
"raised the money with lever"
1t may be well to give credit to
whom II is due, but as Q rule one
had better insist on cash down.
When grown-up people predomi-
nate at children's psrty, the assem-
bly, is said to he badly adult-erated.
Brigham Young's tombstone. it is
said, will bear the simple hut appro-
pirate inscription, "Our Husband"
There Is man in Colorado who
signs his name 1T. Pot" 1t is said
that the least thing makes him boil
over.
"Nowis the time for husking bees."
shouts an exchange. All right; if
any one wants tn husk bee ho can
do SO. We don't.
Cooing Is in order before marriage,
but the billing generally comes after
wards-for dresses aud bonnets, ct
cetera, you know.
What we want now is more silver;
we've plenty enough brass lying
around loose in the country and en-
osCsy WV okCDls
Mice can live anywhere comforta-
bly, but in a church; they fat very
tslDwly ip q church. This proves
that they can't I've on religion any
more thap q minister cap.
A notice in a Western paper of q
steamboat explosion, ends as follows:
."The captain swan ashore. sn did
the .chambermaid; shs was insured
for $4,000, and loaded with iron."
An Irishman, seeing vessel very
heavily laden and scarcely above the
waters edge, exclaimed: upon my
sowl, if the river was hut Q little
higher the ship would 60 to the
bottom"
Glass slippers have been produced
at Vienna. Many man when he
reads this will recall the days of his
poyhood, when he would have es-
capped many bodily smart had glass
slippers been in vogue,
Accidents haze become 90 numer-
ous in the Pennsylvania coal regions
that when miner starts to work 10
the morning his wife doesn't know
which t" prepare for in the evening,
bis supper or bis funeral.
Mr.. Co?k has been lecturing ON
"certainties in religion" He seems
~ be just MS sure of some things as
fhe old lady was that her neighbor
PAD ~ . red camel's hair shawl, be-
cause she saw the Eame Of the camel