Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1878-10-25
Mt and Rauor.

The Bulls-John, Sitting, Irish and OLE
in fact the entire family-are getting
bulEgerant.
people, and a swell on the sea sickena
most everybody.
1t is not necessarily true that a woman
IS thief because she hooks her sisters
| dress behind her back.
Mrs. Smith says her husband is like a
taLoW candle, because he always viii
smoke when he is going out.
Somewhere on the ragged edge OF
| Michigan there is town called Bad Axe.
The picture papers have sent for cuts
oft.
! We saw a young man with two heads
on his shoulders the other day, but didn't
consider it much Of curiosity. One be-
longed to his girl.
When Miss 0phelia, at an art exhibit
ton, cast her eyes for the first time upon
| Powers Greek Slave,n she Immediately
exclaimed, How shiftless ?"
How nicely this corn pops" said q
! young man who was sitting with his
sweetheart before the fire. "Yes,D she
responded, demurely, 'it's got over being
green
The heaviest snorer we have heard Of
| is the man up town whose wife woke
| him up, during a tempest, saying she did
wish he would stop snoring, for she
wanted to hear the thunder.
The chronic growler, who lived In q
boarding house, kept the landlsdy in 3
! state of torment all through the holidays
| by always remarking at meal time:
Things are getting tough, tell you"
An exchange says: A Sarnia man bet
ten dollars that he could ride the fly
| wheel of a saw mill, and as his widow
paid the bet, she remarked: William
was kind husband but he did not know
much about fy-wheels.
'Does your sister Annie ever say any
thing about me, sissyF" asked an anxious
lover of little girl. "Yes," was the
reply she said if you had rockers on
one o. IOur shoes it would make q nice
cradle To- my biggest doll"
"Pa," said little boy FIVE years old,
u saw . lion and lamb lying side by
side in the meadow this morning. "Tut,
tut, James. Don't tell such stories" said
his father. Il tell you did" persisted
the child. 'It was dandeion."
A Kansas schoolma'am has introduced
new feature into her school, When
one of the girls misses a word, the boy
who spells it gets permission to kiss her.
As a result, the girls are becoming very
poor spoilers, while the boys are improV..
ing.
A beauty who went to be photo
graphed at a seaside resort, after taking
her seat in the chair of torture, was thus
addressed by the insinuating operator:
Now, miss, you look at me as if Wa
your young man, and you'd met me un-
expected"
A Boston paper says: "a butterfly
was caught at the South End yesterday
1t may be safe enough to catch butter
fly at the south end, but when you 90 to
grab wasp, you want to catchit on the
northeasterly end, shifting westerly
toward the head
aHurrah ! hurrah !' cried young law,
yer who succeeded to his fathers prae-
tice. 'fI've settled that old lawsuit at
lastD Settled it, exclaimed the
astonished parent. "Why, we've sup
ported the family on that for the last ten
years"
Paris has mutual Autopsy Associa-
ton whose members pledge their bodies
for dissection. This corresponds, as
CLOSELY ds udIlO0dLJl6S VIII OCIullb, u
our Old fashioned sewing societies. The
latter, however, cut up characters as well
as bodies.
Two little girls were lately pFattling
together, and one of them said: "We
keep four servants, have got siZ horses
and lot of carriages; now, what have
you got P' With quite as much pride,
che other answered: "We've got skunk
under our barn"
"I call you darling" she said, as she
leaned her head on his coat collar.
"Show your hand" he returned, me-
chanically. The young miss, not under
standing his answer, continued to poker
head against his chin, and he hove ace
high at her uneonsciousness of his mis-
take.
'T don't think you need send Ior me
again. She cannot possibly get better;
and to save you further trouble, I'll Just
write you out a certificate for her burial"
And he did After the doctor departed
the woman got better rapidly. She has
now completely recovered, and goes
about carrying her burial certificate with
her. At least so says the Sheffield Tex
graph
A bite from rattlesnake is sometimes
not more dangerous than a severe cough or
GOLD A wall rnerited ranptation has DR..