West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-11-02
Doctor Blazer.
Max Adel,r 10 Nv York ws.Ely }

ieioIIlnR 10 the ldte resident physician
oil the institution. He hadn't the
qualifications
How do you meanT
Why, he'd get interested In a novel
or something, maybe, and he'd sit up
there in his room and never 90 near the
paupers And when I'd ask him il he
wasn't going TO see the sick ones to-day,
he'd look up and say:
I'm not very we'll myself this
morning, Jones; s'posin' you lust step
over and put mustard plssters on the en-
tire institution
80 I'd have TO obey orders, you
know, and I'd plaster up the whole
crowd, sick and well, and pretty soon
you could hear those paupers bowling
worse than menagerie, and see 'em
hopping about "a II they were dancing
plain cotillions. But they had to bear
IL. Doctors orders, you know; and
there he'd sit and read, and read. and
read, until he fonnd if the heroine got
married or not; and the plasters
couldn't come of till he said 80 IL was
awful"
" Was he always that wayg'
" Not always, of course. Sometimes
he'd practice on the paupers 10 find out
tho effect of medicines. One time he
ladled out a bucketful of paregoric
among the inmates, and put the whole
crowd 10 sleep for five days. Never
walked up once. II was like grave
yard, only the snoring. A short time
afterward he gave them ipecac, and for
week there were eighty-ive paupers
going around with the asthma, wheeling
like an omnibus horse with the hes yes;
and last September he trepanned three
bald-headed paupers and set door-plates
in the top of their skulls. Nothing at
all the matter with them, only he said
he thought they would look nice with
lids on the top of them, and he wanted
to keep his hand in practice for the
operation"
Did the victims like it?"
Like 1T? Certainly they didn't. But
ne was allowed by the directors IL do
what he pleased"
One time, when he wanted bone
Tor something or other, he took rib out
OF the side of tramp from Mauch
Chunk. said the operation was nee
essary TO keep the man from going into
consumption He had the rib made up
into suspender buttons, ] suspect. And
he used TO experiment with TRANSMISSION
of blood, too. He would take blood
from an Irishman and put it into the
veins OF German, and Uice versa, until
the freshman at last could speak moth
ing but German, and the German talked
with brogue. Always trying some
ridiculous plan or other. | never saw.
such man."
Was he successful in his practice ?"
That depends on what YOU call sue
cesstul. il a man was real sick and the
nurse would so for DIR. Blazer, the man
! cnn1 nfT IN
relations, tell where he'd like to be
buried, say his last words, and make up
his mind for the worst. He'd fit of be.
fore morning. In serious cases the doc
tor was regarded as certain death around
here. know when | told the county
undertaken that he was going TO leave,
the undertaken sat down and cried like
achiid. said il wasn't right TO take the
bread out OF mans mouth i'm such hard
times as these. He got SO much for
every burial, you know. And one of the
directors voted straight along not to dis
miss DIR. Blazer, because the director
SAID, there were too many paupers. any
how, and, if the number could be steady
reduced by legal means, IL would be
good thing for the taxpayers. Do YOU
know what think? | think I'd rather
have Asiatic cholera in my family than
TO take DIR. Blazer as q boarder. IT'S not
half so deadly
Why was he discharged?"
Why, I'll tell you. 1t seems that he
was partner Of one of the contractors for
furnishing the poorhouse with victuals.
lie kept il secret; but we all noticed
that he used to 60 around with kind
/ OF two-horse power, double-acting
/ stomach-pump. About three days in
( the week he'd start in Ward No. l right
after breakfast, and pump out every
1 pauper clear through TO Ward No S.
/ Consequence was the inmates would be
/ so raging hungry by dinner-time that
they'd eat like anacOndas. After dinner
out ID come that pump again, and by
supper-time the inmates would be will
ing to eat paving-stones or brickbats.
they'd be so near starved. And 40 he'd
so on, until the cOmmissary depart
ment ID be bankrupted every twenty
four hours. ] believe that man could
have pumped out the whole Russian
army IN day with that machine. II
used TO turn some of the feebler paupers
nearly wrong side out SO the directors
began to inquire what made the ex.
pebses so heavy, and, when they called
the doctor up about 1T, he owned up.
and Mr.. Perkins said that as three more
weeks Of that stOmach-pump would put
the county treasury into the hands of a
receiver unless it could incur a second
national debt, he thoughtthe doctor had
better 60. 20 he was dismissed"
Left, did he2"
Z" Yes, left And the morning he was
going away he cut five toes off of some
paupers in Ward No 4, and put them
up in alcohol for study, he said and
he gave pauper from Lower Merton
some kind of medicine that threw him
into fits 80 that he's bouncing around
up stairs like an India-rubber ball ever
since. There he goes nowl Hear him
/ III have 20 20 up and sit on him. Have
to do II two hours every day by order
OF the directors. But If ever get hold
OF Blazer III wiring his neck. Pm not
employed here a. kind Of paper.
weight 10 hold down paupers with fits.
hanged If / amp
Then the steward flew up stairs. and
withdrew II Is 10 be feared that the
dea th-rate will suddenly increase at
F Per kiomen, where DR.. Blazer has gone
10 practice
INa race at the late Ballard County
f. lky.( Fair, one Of the jockeys, who was
20. III - 90. L Z