The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1878-01-11
"reminiscences by Mark Twain.

"reminiscences by Mark Twain.
AT recent banquet given by the
publishers of the Atlantic Monthly, in
honor of the SEVENTEEN birthday of the
revercd Quaker poet, John Greenlcaf
Whittier, Mark Twain was called on to
"say something" and he discoursed as
follows:
Mr.. Chairman: This is an occasion
peculiarly meet for the digging up of
pleasant "reminiscences concerning liter
AIRY folk therefore, will drop lightly in
to history myself Standing here on the
shore OF the Atlantic and contemplating
certain of its biggest literary biliows, [
am reminded of a thing which happen
ed to me fifteen years ago, when had
just succeeded i'll stirring up little Ne
vada literary ocean-puddlc myself,
whose spumc-fakes were beginning to
blow thinly California-wards. | start
ed an inspection tramp through the
southern mines of California. was cal
low and conceited, and | resolved to
try the virtue of my nom de plume.
very soon had an opportunity. knock
ed at miners lonely log cabin in the
foothills of the Sicrras just at nightfall
1t was showing at the time. A iadetl,
melancholy man of fifty, bare-footed,
opened to me. When he heard nv nom
dc plume, he looked more detected than
before. lie let me in--pretty reluctant
~, | thought-and after the customary
bacon and beans, black coffee and hot
whisky, | took pipe. This sorrowful
man had not said three words up to
this time. Now he spoke up and said
III the voice of one who is secretly suf-
fering: "You're the fourth-I'm n
going to move" "Thc fourth .what?,
said |. ''The fourth literary man that 8
been here in twcnty-four hours-pm a
going to move" "You don't tell me =,
said I. "Who were the others?" "AIr.
Longfellow, Mr.. Emerson and Mr.. Oil
YER Wendell Holmes--dad fetch the
lotw
You can easily believe was interest
ed; l supplicated-three hot whiskies
did the rcst-and finally the melancholy
miner began. Said he:
"They came here just at dark, yestcr-
day evening, and 1 let them in, of
course. Said they were going to Yo-
semitic. They were a rough lot-but
that's nothing-everybody looks rough
that travels afoot. Mr.. Emerson was a
seedy little bit of chap-red-headed
Mr.: Holmes was as big as a balloon-he
weighed as much as three hundred, and
had double chins all the way down to
his stomach. Mr.. Longfellow was
built like prize fighter. His head was
cropped and bristly-likc as if he had q
wig made of hair-brushcs. His nose
lay straight down his face, like finger
with the end joint turned up. They
had been drinking-I could see that.
And what queer talk they used! Mr..
Holmes inspected this cabin, then he
took me by the button-hole, and saws
he:
Through the deep caves OF thought
hear Il voice that sings:
Build thee more stately mansions,
Omy soulv
"Says |, Il can't afford it, Mr..
Holmes, and moreover | don't want
to-. blamed if liked it pretty well,
either, coming from stranger that
way. However, started to get out
my bacon and beans, when Mr.. Emer-
son came and looked on while, and
then he takes me aside by the button
hole and says:
Give me agates for my meat:
Give me cantharids TO cat:
! from air and ocean bring me foods
FROM all zonos and attitudes
Says !, Mr.. Emerson, excuse me,
but this amt my hotel You see il
sort OF riled mel warn't used TO the
way of literary swclls. But went on
a-sweating over my work, and next
comes Mr.. Longfellow and button-holes
me, and interrupts me. SAYS he:
Honor be to Mudjckeewis
ion snail hear how Pau-Puk Kecwis'-
"But | broke in, and SAYS |, Beg
ging your pardon, Mr.. Longiellow, If
you'll be so kind as to hold your yawp
ior about five minutes and let me get
this grub ready, you'll do me proud ;
Well, sir, after they'd filled up / set
out tho jug. Mr.. Holmes looks at II
and then he fires up all of sudden and
yells:
rlash out stream of blood.red wine
, FOR would drink TO other days
"By George, j was getting kind of
worked mp. turns to AIr. Holmes.
and says |, 'Leoky here, my fat friend.
I'm a-running this shanty, and if the
court knows herself, You'll take whisky
straight or you'll go dry Them's the
very words said TO him. Now didn't
want to sass such famous littcry people.
but you see they kind of forced mo
There ain't nothing unreasonable bout
me; | don't mind a passel of guests
a-tread'n on my tail three or four times.
put when 1t comes to Standing on it it's
different, and if the court knows her.
self you'll take whisky straight or you'll
go dry, Well, between drinks they'd
swell around the cabin and strike aiti.
tudes and spcut. Says Mr.. Longfelow:
'This Is the forest primeval'
"Says Mr.. Emerson:
Here once the the embattied farmers stood,
Ana Hred the shot heard round the world
"Says /, 20, black2uard the premises
as much as you want to-it don't cost
you cent Well, they went on
drinking, and pretty soon they got ont
a greasy old deck and went to plaviuy
cnt-throat eucher at ten cents a corner
ON trust. l begun TO notice enmne
pretty suspicious things. Mr. Emci -nn
dealt, looked at his hand, shook bis
head, says
i am the doubter aud the doubt
ana calmly punched the hands and wen,
TO shuiii'nS fora new layout Says he:
They reekon III who leave me ont;
They know not well the subtle WAYS
Keep. pass and deal again"
"IIang'd II he didn't go ahead! o,
no was cool one Well, in about a
minute, things were running pretty
tight, but all of sudden see byy Mr..
Emerson's eye that he Judged he had
'em. lie had already corralled two
tricks and each of the others one. So
now he kind of lifts little in his chair,
and says:
4 tire OF globes and acesl--
Too long the game Is played
aud down he fetched right bower.
Mr.. Longiellow smiles rs sweet as Die
and SAYS:
.rhanks. thanks to thee my worthy friend.
For the lesson thou hast taughtr
and dog my cats, if he didn't down
with another right bower. Well, sir,