The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1878-04-09
WIT AND HUIoR.

1T
WIT AND HUIOR. ,a
A STONE rolled in camphor gathers no
moths Utica Observer. / ss-xns
be AN old hen don't prophecy d " till
it has happened.--Bi tlings& 10,
A MAN in the south recently ate, for
a wager, a pound Of sawdust. This is
new. way oftaking board.
How to make a Maltese cross-Tread
on her tail.-Philadelphia Ledger.
oman wants but little here below"
and he generally gets,it, too.
The great difficulty in skating is to
m maintain unanimity among your feet.
WE hear Of an exploding dish Of chowder,'
A blown up doughnut and busted cup.
Most everything is dangerous but powder;
But could Guy Fawkes have Bologna sausage up?
-... .-Grophic.
SUNDAY school teacher-Who was the
strongest man? Boy-Jonah; because
the whale couldn't hola him after he got
him down. ri. 4, l., IT =! EFt''.
LIrl lie girl (who loves to drive horses
and play bali -"I wish God would
smash me all to pieces and make me into
q boy" .~. - ''''2f-%, ,%'%s2St
GREE CHops," isa sign hung out by
a Chicago restaurant; and when the Gus
toners apply they are shown to wood
pile and handed an Ak. 50 ~.e"a.2
A QUACK doctor advertised that he
would undertake" to re-hearse more
cures for consumptive patients than any
other doctor in the U. s. Co. 'ar
The noble Briton has been walked up
lust in time to miss the train, and he be
gins to feel pretty mad about it.-Phila
dolphin Times. F1& .. .~
"JoHN," said master to his appren-
tice, "you must occupy my place while
I am absent" "Thank you, sir" replied
John, "but I'd rather sleep with the
boys" :>~;'- baLEZI:5
A LITTLE boy wasasked, the other day
if he knew where the wicked finally went
to. He answered, "They practice law
here a spell, and then go to the legisla-
ture." $3.50:
In the third precinct yesterday,
policeman arrested man who tried to
explain thath wasonly weary" The
policeman explained that there is arrest
for the weary York Herald.
SAID friend to bookseller, "The
book trade is affected, 1 suppose, by the
general depression. What kind of books
feel it most?" "Pocket-books," was
the laconic reply.
"ALwAYs try tohit the nail upon the
head, my boy" said an uncle to his
nephew; but the nephew's little cousin
whispered to him, "Don't hit the nail on
your finger for it hurts awful"
EVERY day or Two the telegraph an
nounces that somebody has discovered a
new asteroid. Which indicates careless
ness in not sprinkIing ashes on the side
walk.-Berkshire Courier.
TOBACCO was discovered three hundred
years ago, but there lives no boy of the
present day who while suffering from
the glory of his first chew, does not
wish its discovery had been postponed
that many centuries in the future.
The other daya little girl of three and
half, while playing with Aunt Alice's
ring, lost it. Both looked for it some
time, without finding it, when, in despair,
the little one said: "Come, auntie, let's
cry"
Two card-playing friends were pass
ing through asspne forest, when one
asked the other this audacious question:
"Why cannot the proprietor Of this for
est fell his own Stimber?' because no
ore is allowed to cut it when it is his
own deal"
| SHOCKS boy heard him say that the &c
WAS money in hens, and he proceeded 10
Investigate the old mans poultry yard.
He had gone through dozen fine specl-
mems when she old gent descended upon
lin, and the boy now wonders if there
j a balm ID Gilead.
/ In a rscent scandal case in Smith
county, Kansas, a lady witness declined
to answer question, and the attorney
! demanded her reason. Because it IS
not fit 10 tell decent people" "Oh,
we'll, Just walk up here and whisper 1t to
the judge" said the attorncy.-0"'"1a
HraM
So long as lhe legs Of the small boy do
not extend higher than his breathing
apparatus ii will be impossible to get him
into pair Of rubber boots so far that he
will not go straightway out and stand In
puddle where" the water will just run
in over the tops of the same WorceSf"
Press.
A vERDANr mother at the Providence
depot, in Boston, set her baby on one OF
the steam-heaters, and, when the young
ster screamed, she made a great search
for " that PIN, A bystander posted her
up before her esteemed progeny was
quite done.
RATHER RouGHsHoD-Little Snob
Qoudly)-" Whose 'orses are these, my
man % Swell Groom (who does not ap-
prove of liberties -" Yours, sir" H.
s." Mine! lYot dyer mean"' Groom
-" Why, sir, i'll m your man these musI
be your 'osses. E{Collapse of little snoo)
London FIN. e..
"IHAvE here" said Mr.. Shacklerole'
holding a tiny bit of perfllmed manu-
script in his hand, 81 have here rather
neat little thing l hit off at dinner
yesterday or the Russian war; the
eastern question; yeast ern; yeast, you
know; see? Yeast, yeast; yeastern
-" (Medical college desiring a fresh sub
ject for dissection, disfgured only by
such bruises as might be occasioned oy
falling from thd top of a mountain, Will
find it to their advantage by addressing
the Hasckeyr.) IA q 'l~,
DR.. MARY. WALKER has been mys-
teriously missing ever since her snub by
the ungallant sshate, but here she comes
again. The Ilaok- Eye man has founa
her: :" DR.. MEy Walker selected
piece Of black and gray striped goods ! =