Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1878-04-19

Sarah JOsepha Hale, who has just retired
from the editorship of GOdey's Lady
BOoE) soon after the lambs visit to the
schOol-room. Mary was married many
years since, and lives near Boston. She
says she will come again to the spinning
bee some afternoon. She took in some
of the first fleece of her little lamb, and
it is now for sale at the spinning bee.
When proposing to a widow, Smidg-
kins says, the question whether her first
husband is dead or divorced should be
put as delicately as possible.
The population of California increased.
5y immigration last year, $4,000. The
lasses of immigrants most needed ara
farmers and stock raisers-
A Delaware man had his life saved
from the bullet Of an assassin bya wallet
with $1OO in it. Always carry hun
dred dollars in your wallet.
A correspondent writes, asking for a
'frcmedy for an apple-tree WORM" How
can we prescribe until we know what is
the matter with the Worm2
Josh Billings says he knows people
who are SO fond of argument they will
stop and "dispute with a guide board
about the distance to the next town."
Young men don't waste your time
complaining that the world owes you a
living, but pull off your coat and fax
about and take the living out of the
worlds hide.
Frenchmen of Tours, to his friend
fresh from Paris: "And did you meet
my friend-?" eyes, but saw very
little of her." "Ah She was not then,
in evening dress ?"
A widow once said to her daughter,
"When you are of age it will be time
enough to dream of husband" eyes,
mamma, " replied the thoughtless beauty,
'for a second time"
1t was Midway (Ky.) druggist who
looked through his vocabulary Of oils,
but failed to find any oil of silk, as he
understood his lady customer to say.
She wanted oiled silk.
Four-year-Old, to his mother holding
the baby:-Say, mama, say Eat squawl-
ing little baby seems to sink 'ee's ze only
chile you got I'd give him back
again2 2"-LondOn Paper.
Would you regard this as compliment
tary or prOblematical? "NeIlie, my
little girl, do you like having a ride on
my knee ?" The simple, artless child re-
piled, eyes, papa, pretty well, but not
as well as to ride on the real jackass, ]
mean one with four legs you know"
The father pOndered on that saying, and,
lighting another cigar concluded that
childhood is wise beyond its years.
He was saying, GAS the pearly col
unis of smoke in a winters atmosphere
rises unbroken heavenward, SO my heart
rises to thee. As the sunAower follows
the cruel sun which gives it life, so
my heart follows thine. As the blue
brook runs its uuhindered course to the
sea, SO my soul, in slavery, goes to thee. "
Said she, "Henry, now that we're en-
gagged, will your nail blade cut corns ?"
An Arkansas shotgun is sometimes
more merciful than an Arkansas hus-
band. The other day a rufian, deeming
his longtime bed-ridden wife an incum-
berance, undertook to shoot her, but the
weapon refused to explode. Then seiz-
ing it by the muzzle he was about to
knock out her brains, but it struck on the
head-board of the bed and the contents
of both barrels were lodged in the brute's
body.
A dogfsh became entangled in the net
of some French fishermen near Cape
Adge lately, and after dragging their boat
about during the entire night at the rate
of twelve miles an hour, was finally cap
tured and brought to land. 1t measured
over sixteen feet in length, and weighed
about $500 pounds. It's enormous
stomach contained the head, feet, and
several other portions of a mule, as well
as two halfdigested tunnyfsh.
Recorder Hackett of New York, Occa-
sionally makes some rather blunt remarks
on the bench, as when he said in SEN
fencing q pickpocket the other day;
"The city is full of pickPOckets; they are
in every street. If some one should shoot
down enc of these fellows, when caught
in the act, it would be doing the public
service. 1 would not hesitate, judge as
1 am, to kill such man on the spot. l
want you and your friends to understand
this.
Recently a dress reformer came to
grief in Pennsylvania. 1t seems that
stylishly dressed young lady appeared in
several of the towns of that State, solicit
ing orders for a new style of stocking
which was to do away with garters, elias
tic supporters, and all the other traps and
devices resorted to by lovely woman in
order to keep her stockings up and pre-
vent them from wrinking. Instead Of
the hurtful denominations referred to, she
was to furnish hose which were to fit the
limbs of each wearer perfectly, and re-
uuired only button or two, or here and
there a delicate lacing. Of course, care
full and accurate measurements had to be
made, and the first orders were to be
filed by the New York house for little or
nothing, so as to ''introduce the goods.
The women all tumbled to the dress re-
formers racket, and all kinds OF hoofs
and shanks were measured, and the or
ders engrossed in a little book. Unfor-
tunately, at one of the towns the ere
former" got drunk, and had to be put to
bed by the hotel chambermaids, who dis
covered that she was a man The pO-
lice lost no time in putting the fraud in
Jail, and indignant fathers, husbands,
brothers and lovers have besieged the
bastile and swear they'll have that little
book or the villains blOod-maybe both.
Verify, reformers nearly always have
hard time of it,