Stevens County tribune., 1878-10-17
miscellaneous Items.

"Dere was only leedle difference be-
tween us" said burly Teuton who had
just hossewhipped another. "I was OK
hided und he vas cowhided-dot's all."-
Pluck.
They pulled the boots off man before
they buried him in DeadwOod the other
day, causing the local paper to come out
in severe article denouncing ''extrava-
gance at funerals"
An old granger, who came irto town
to purchase a piano for his daughter,
asked the agent if he hadn't one with
handle in the end, $50 we can all give it
turn once in while"
A clergyman who was recently called
up to hold services in the state prison at
Sing Sing, prefaced his remarks to the
prisoners by saying that he was "glad to
see so large number present"
An editor with nine unmarried daugh-
ters was recently made Justly indignant
by the misconstruction his contemporaries
put upon his able leader on "The De.
mand for Men."-BUrIington Hasokeye.
Editors like brevity, bnt man who
was recently hung in Indiana suited them
too we'll. He made no remarks abont
heaven, but nodded to the preacher and
said: ''f'll see you LATER" and then the
trap fell.
the ninc-wived man to jail for $50 years
because no fair-minded gentleman would
try to make a corner in wives until DR..
Mary Walker and Mr.. Tilden had each
secured one.
A Chicago girl left Cape May the other
day wearing five different engagement
rings. She goes in for troy weight in
stead of love. This is one of the D-Troy-t
Free Press weightiest jokes.-Neso York
Commercial AdUertSser.
A lecturer, addressing a mechanics
institution, contended that: cart could
not improve nature" when one of the
audience set the whole assembly in a
roar by exclaiming: How would you
look without your wig2"
Fussv and partially deaf officer, in
specting stables: "Ah, Smith, what on
earth have you been cleaning your har-
ness with?" Smith: Nothing, sir"
Officer: "Ah, then don't do it with that
again; see how it rots the leather
Fun.
The cooks in Boston have struck fryer
Graphic. Their interests were
probably at steak-B0Ston Post. That is
well understewed.--G Commercial Bulletin.
Tho business, in fact, being over-done
and good situations rare.-Boston Ad0er-
tiSer.
They are working political conundrums
at London Minstrel shows. This goes
we'll with the audience. Onn of the cor
ner men asks: "How could you convert
Mr.. Gladstone into Conservative" "The
reply is: "Spin him round and round iin-
til he becomes DizzyW
When Benjamin Franklin arrived in
Philadelphia he calmly walked up the
street with loaf of bread under his arm.
But he couldn't do it nowadays. Some
body would steal his bread before he got
half block away from the heriver.-PASlG-
delohSG Chronicle.
A poem commences, "Under the willows
he's lying" He must be tramp. They
lie under all sorts of trees. One was dis.
CoFoIou lying uuueE du dA1e-Iee tHe OLu-
er morning. The owner of he wagon
made him wheelright round and leave
NorrGstooon Herald.
From Scotland Yard Sergeant: How's
this, Jones2 What do you mean by COM
ing on duty unshaved3" Jones: "I'm a.
CROWN of my beard, sir" Sergeant: {:
"Then you must get up earlier and do it,
Or Or. ANYHOW, you must not grow it
while on dooty."-Fu1eny Folks.
The Chicago Times assert that the pick
pockets who visited the city during the
firemen's tournament have all drowned
themselves in disgust at the discovery
that for three days they have been ope-
rating in community where every man had
taken advantage of the bankrupt act.