The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1878-01-04
WHIT TINE Rgay.EsT U.gs.
How the fsighteous Gould Not
stand on slippery Places.


parents must have suffered from his in
capacity to thrill them with the crash Of
furniture and the sweet music Of tho tin
horn, we can scarcely feel too thankful
that he is securely buried
Rev. Mr.. Sawyer, Of West Brookfeld
Vermont, possesses a unique treasure in
the person Of q small boy whose invcn.
tive powers and devotion TO bis parents
have rarely been paraleled
In Northern Vermont that peculiar
form of social outrage formerly known
as " surprise party" but iate common.
ly called a Bulgarian atrocity," is still
lamentably frequent On cold even
ing in the first week of the present month,
Mr.. Sawyer and his family were seated
qnietly by their social hearth, enjoying
one anothers society. The clergyman
was reading aloud the Bishops pastoral
letter; his wife was busily calculating
how to cut up her husbands old over
coat so as 10 supply him with a new
waistcoat, herself with a new overskirt,
and Master Sawyer with a new pair of
trousers, while that excellent small boy
was reading the improving adventures
OF an eminent pirate, and wondering
whether be would ever be able to emu.
late them. No, one of the family was
prepared to receive visitors Mr. Sawyer
had onhis dressing.gown and slippers
Mrs. Sawyer had let down her back hair
70 give freedom TO her mental processes,
and Master Sawyer had temporarily
slipped off his trousers 70 supply his
mother with a pattern while she wrap.
ped the hearth.rug about him Sud.
denly and without the loast warning.
more than four dozen people Of all kinds
and sexes, including mer, women. re-
formers and theological students burst
into the room, carrying cake and dav
astation with them. Mas,er Sawyer
fed bowling; the clergyman pushed
back bis spectacles, and tried to smile
chastity smile and his heroic wife
by hurriodly twisting her back hair with
both hands, and holding her comb be.
tween her teeth, managed 70 avoid utter.
ing the welcome which the invaders ex
| pected, but which her conscience forbade
her to express.
The marauders conducted themselves
after the usual custom Of their kind
They conversed with one another with
great hilarity, ignoring the sufferings
of the clergyman and his wife. They
spread their cake apon the table.
and devouring it without plates, scat
tered the crumbs over the new car.
pet. One young mar, having laid
a large piece Of jelly cake on the
sofa, subsequently, sat down on it. After
having reduced the furniture to that
state of grease that it was no longer
safe to sit down, the miscreauts gather
ed around the piano and sang What
Shall the Harvest BE? ~ until Mr. Saw.
yer, mild as he was. regretted that ho
could not take a sharp scythe and reap
an immediate and bloody harvest
While these blooi-curdl,ng outrages
were o progress in the paricr, the good
small boy kept himself carefully ont Of
the room. He was not. however, vast.
ing bis time in idle rage He, too, beard
the melodious inquiries as to the harvest,
and remarked to himself that they would
findjout all about the harvest if they
would only wait few minutes. Mean
while, he was busiIy engaged in carry.
lBg pals of water and omptying them
on the front step AMI along the walk
leading from the front door to the gate.
The night was cold, and the water froze
rapidly. Under his admirable manage
ment the ice acquired an unusually
smooth and slippery character, and
when the work was thoroughly done the
small boy retired to the second story
front window and waited for the sur
prise party to break up.
The moon was at the full, and shone
brightly when the first pair of miscrants
the young man who sat on the jelly
cake and a heavy young lady to whom
he was affianced issued from the front
door and instantly sat down with tre-
mendous emphasis Close behind them
came the rest of the raiders who with
one accord strewed themselves over the
ground, until in some places they were
collected three or four deep The
shrieks of the ladies' and the stronger
remarks of the men filed the air. No
sooner would a struggling wretch regain
his feet than he would sit down again
with renewed violence. The afirighted
clerqvman aud his wife gaZed with won.
der OF the appalling spectacle, and the
good small bay never ceased TO sing
- What Shall the Harvest BE at the
ton of his luugs-interspersing that
stirring hymn with wild whoop
whenever particularly brilliant pair of
stockings waved in the air.
Although only, three persons sustain.
ed fatal injuries, there was scarcely
member of the party who escaped with
out more or less serious wounds, either
of body or clothing. 1t il generally be-
lieved that there will never be another
surprise party in Brookfield, aud it is
under contemplation among middle.agcd