Litchfield enquirer., 1878-08-22
CLIPPINGS.
Not woman's sphere-Base- ball.

A great moral show-the hy )ocrite.
 A delicate pa"cel-A young lady wrapped up in herself.
 A button is a small event which is always coming off.
 An intellectual pauper has appeared in Bos- ton, who can beg in ten different languages.
 Young mother "What do ch;ldren say when they get candy2" Infant recipient of cor eec- tions "More"
 An excited politician to his opponent ''Did you call me fool?" ''No, sir :; 1 nevertwi on facts"
 Yung man, don't be afrade to blow yorrown horn, but don't don't do it in front of the pro- ceshun; go behind and do it.-Josh BiU'n 'ngs.
 That bargain" Butler is after is as elusive as the Governorship of Massachusetts He will capture both at about the same time.
 Mi dear friend as strange az it may seem to yu, mankind had rather see yu fail than suc- ceed, bekause they had rather pity than ad- Ihire.-Josh Bil1ings.
 Lady (giving an apple to little boy) ''Give this apple to the one of us three here whom you think the handsomest." The boy looked for moment at all tree ladies, took the apple; and-ate it.
 Two law .Jers, WI 'le bathing at Santa Cruz the other day, were chased out of the water by shark. This is the most fragrant case of want of professional CO tesy oa eCord.
 Servant (to Irish laborer): 'Here is some beer, Pat, if you care to have it but Pm afraid it's quite dead" Pat "Och, dead, is it Shure, th fl, darlint, it's Pm the boy to bury it."
 St. Louis has carefully preserved '',e names of those citizens who died of sunstroke She doesn't propose building monument over them, but their names wi appear. as usua', in next ye' s q :ectory. The Na.:onal party of Connecticut has even birth to new 'ism"-that the Governu mt shall deal s;e. e.nly with gas monopoies l. it did, this would te the last National Conven- tion.
 English boy was beating donkey un- mercifully, when the minister of that parish, coming up, cens, ed him for his cruelty. 1 le boy resentfully retoited: "Im sure you need na care; it's nane of yorr congregation"
 ''The sun rises in the east" explained the teacher. "Yes, an there's suthin' rises in the west. too, chimed in one of the smaller boys ''Well, what is it ?" asked the school ma'am. 'Injuns, shouted the urchin
 ''The State Prison convicts at Concord, | Mass, observes the Lowell Courier, ''are set ting good example, for two hundred and if ty of them arc thrown out of wock by the late flie, and not word of complaint from eny of them"
 "What is the national air of this country ?'' | asked a foreigner in Washington. ''That's the national lair," replied native, pointing to the Capitol, 'but the animals are all out in the jungle just now, chasing voters" Counsel had been questioning certain Wit. ness named Gum, and in closing he said to 1 him 'Mr. Gum, you can now go off The | judge on the bench gravely added: ''Sir, you are discharged" Of course an explosion in court immediately ensued The clergy of Rochester are trying to bring | about a reform in the matter of extravaganza at funerals, but they will not succeed. People who haven't pound of flour left in the house must have twenty-five hacks at a funeral to hide their poverty.
 There is loud call on Eli Perkins to ini- tate that Illinois lecturer who blew his brains out as part of his entertainment Of course
 
 than he has got. It's the pantomime the people want to see.
 In-subord'nation. English diner( suspicious | ly): "A Id do you stick to the teetotal princi | ples yourself, waiter ?" Waiter: sIn business. yes, sir, alway, g.! In business am subor- dinate to my principals; l; but out of business, sir, it is different-my principles are subordi, nate to me-"
 1 A young man writes us asking if he can ge, | a position as leader of flute band in on, town. When our town becomes afflicted with such a band we shall endeavor to secure or~ correspondent the position to lead ito lead it about forty-seven thousand miles out of town.
 Two Highlandmen. kilted in primitive or. der, dropped inadvertently into Protestant | Episcopal chapel on 8 Sunday, and seated | themselves in comfortable pew. Ha, 'ne never been in an Episcopal chapel before their astonishment cannot be described on a beauti full symphony being struck up by the organist, | At that instant a gentleman came to take nos session of the seat, andcivilly laid his hand on the shoulder of one of them and pointed to the door. "Hout. tout :" cried the Highland. |. CT, 'tak out Donald there he be fa- better dancer than me-"
 The Cf'cago Tr;',uuo, instead of publishing its original poetry, is selling it to those who have occasion to use original verses and do not wish to borrow from fam liar poets The Tribune advertises as follows "Five stanzas each four lines, masculine gender wants to gaze in a young woman's eyes-no color stat ed; general tone cheerful. Thirty decasylla- bles meditations in church; just the thing for girl to send to Sunday School teacher: no denominationalism. Fifteen lines, s.raggling metre: fears his sweetheart has gone back on him, and medtate5 gloom of existence with out her; good thing to dash off impromptu af- ter quarrel; originally addressed to Mary, hnf can also he nSed for SarAhn