The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-02-16

one by drowning, a brother-in-law by
wounds in battle, a husband by stroke
of apopleXy, and a son in the recent
railroad disaster at Tariffville.
The publisher of weekly paper in
Illinois prints in each issue chapter
of the Bible, and, upon being ridiculed
for it by his contemporaries, remarks
editorially: eve publish nothing but
what is news to our readers"
-Cigarette-smoking is INDUCED in
by many young women and schoolgirls
in New York. The thumbs and fore
fingers of a class in a young ladies'
school were examined, the other day,
and only two were found to be without
tobacco stains.
Among the Indian defendants in a
land suit lately brought in San Fran
cisco were Ellen Green, Mary Black,
Jack White, Lucy Red, Flora Pink,
Simon Tight, Bartholomew Loose, One
Cheats, Two Cheats, Square Pill, Round
Pill, Sour Pill, Soft Pill, Hard Pill,
Tough Pill, and Slow Pill
The following correspondence re-
Gently passed through a telegraph office:
81 lent you one year ago tonight
S4.87. If you have not had it long
enough please keep it one year longer"
To this delicate hint this answer was
returned: "Had forgotten it and hoped
you had, Let her run another year.
The great rage just now is to tell
enormous lies about the remarkable
freaks of vegetation in this unusually
mild weather, and the man who tells
the biggest lie carries off the chrome.
Out on South Hill-but we won't try,
it's no use; we never could lie.-Bur-
hngto'o HaaC6-Eye. That will do; you
have won the chromo.-BOst0n Bulletin.
"A writer in the Golden Rule, speak
ing of the ventilation of farm buildings,
declares that 60 some farmers have an
atmosphere in their stables as bad as
that in common SCHOOL, This is al
most incredible. That farmers can
thus be so reckless of the health of their
stock is one of the strangest things in
ature.-COurier-Journal.
Let no one hereafter insinuate that
the teachers institutes produce no good.
At the late Bucks County Institute a
fair-haired, blue-eyed darling of a
teacher of the female persuasion forever
demolished the base insinuation by the
following conundrum: How do YOU
make a Maltese cross?'' Answer
Tread on her tail
"A sad story comes from Texas. A
Miss Moore was preparing for marriage,
and invited friend, Miss Williams, to
assist her. In rummaging through a
drawer an old pistol was carelessly
handled by Miss Williams, resulting in
the shooting and instant death of Miss
Moore. She was buried on the day
that was to have been her wedding day,
and Miss Williams has become insane.
The relative wealth and income of
the three most opulent men living-the
Duke of Westminster, Rothschild and
Mr.. Mackey, the Bonanza king-has
been reduced to figures, as follows:
Duke Of
Westminster. Rothschila Mackey.
Capital f16,000,000 COS f40000,000 G55,000,O
| Per year -. 100000 90 100000 2,750.ON
Per month. 10000 90 100000 20O,OOC
| Per day.. 1900 90 5000 7,GW
Per hour. 900 200 3OC
Per minute. 10
AS, at wedding in Hoyne avenue
the other evening, they We're gathered
around the happy couple (the bride
was widow, congratulating them, an
over-sensitive friend burst into tears
and sobbed: Glow glad L am her poor
dear Arthur is not alive to see this day!
1t would have broken his heart to see
his wife married to some one else. -
Then she went into Mysteries and was
removed, having cast gloom over the
community Chicago Tribune.
Auction sociables have been in
augurated at Waukesha, Wis. After
the company has assembled, the ladies
retire to a private room and don long,
loose dresses and conceal their faces,
and then are brought out one by one
and sold to the gentlemen at auction.
The highest bidder takes the lady, and
so on until all of the ladies have been
sold. After the auction is over, each
gentleman must pay his whole and I'M
divided attention to the lady he has
bought, and the lady must not receive
any attentions from any other gentle
man.
| EVERYBODY KNOWS.
When stars are twinkling bright above,
And crickets cricket in the fens,
And bullfrogs below in their dens,
And gallant Armand speaks his love;
How does Clarissa soothe his throes-
Responsive to his every sigh
The lovelight kindling in her eve?
Why, everybody knows
When those same stars are twinkling bright
And five long, weary years have fled
With aimless legs and dizzened head
Poor Armand hovers round at night
And loud laments his welded woes
Because the door is locked inside,
What soothing gets he from his bride!
Why, everybody knows!
st. Louis Journal.
"A little fellow has just begun going
to the public schools. His mother, to
stimulate him to attention to his les
sons, said to him the other day: " Char
ley, if you study hard, you may some
day become President of the United
States, like George Washington. Who
knowsP' Don't talk to me about be-
ing Presidentr' exclaimed he; "every-
body's going to be President When
we 60 to school the first thing the
teacher does, she calls the names of all
the little boys, and they all say Presi-
dent | don't want to be President -
-" Do you see," the sad officer said,
that woman who has just gone by,
and do you see that thing on the back
of her head and rising like steeple
above itP' The editor saw uNow