davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Litchfield enquirer., 1878-05-23
CLIPPINGS.

A settled conviction-Up for life.
 Coming to blows-The fruit trees.
 What beats a good wife? A bad husband. ! Irishmen are considered witty because they're so dry. f
 Never stop to argue the point with an exct- ed hornet.
 To the Fenians-Do not shoot before you get your guns loaded, gentlemen.
 The happiest day in all states is the day on which the legislature adjourns.
 The lightning rod swindlers will soon begin to operate. Spare the rod, but kill the agent. Merrimac has five clergymen, not one mar ried. Probably they are not unitearlans.
 Trout are as scarce as reliable war news and are the foundation for about as big lies. An exchange has contributor who signs himself ''Baron of Branes." He must be.
 The New York Mail has long article on the death of Voltaire. So MT. Voltaire IS dead, is he?
 An Iowa man saw his barn and cattle go up ~ANN-S '->--- w1nd and went after them.
 Bayard Taylor says he can write best on an empty stomach. Nothing more from Bayard s pen before 1881.
 "Go out young man, she's not here" said a K entucky preacher in the midst of his sermon, to youth hesitating in the doorway.
 ''What does el-e-gy mean ?' asked the teacher ''Leg." responded an embryo para grapher. He didu't want any recess.
 Gail Hamilton is after the Rev. James Free man Clark of Boston, and storm signals are ordered out in his neighborhood. Hayes's new secretary of Idaho is named Sidebotham. Why the deuce didn't they name him Sidetopandbotham and cover the whole case?
 "Great Bargains" attract in all weathers,
 "Low Prices" are of reno wH,
 Bat pillows filled up with hen feathers,
 Are gosds that should ne'er be marked "dewn"
 'I told her I'd never smoke another cigar, " he said softly, land 1 won't A pipes plenty good enough for me."-and he gracefully drew match.
 The poor unsophisticated woman that lnno- gently vivifed the dormant spark in the store with a can full of kerosene had probably never read the "Through by Skylight'' series.
 Agents of the English government are in this country buying war horses. If they want to get hold of some A No. 1 chargers we would recommend them to Niagara hackmen.
 A man in Maine applied for five gallons o1 rum for mechanical purposes" "For what mechanical purposes ?" ''For raising barn, wasthe reply.
 A Californian philosopher has extracted the following reply from school-boy to the query 'How is the earth divided, my lad ?" "By earthquakes, Sir"
 The morning bird concerts are now in sue cessful operation. It is very pleasant to be awakened at dawn by the sweet songs of these little feathered warblers, or would be if they came three or four hours later.
 Jennie June says fashionable bonnet can be had for dollar and and half. And so il can. It is from six to twenty dollars wortf of trimmin ing that strikes the pocketbook in g sore spot. ass...ser.ys y
Litchfield enquirer., 1878-05-23

The morning bird concerts are now in suc- cessful operation. It is very pleasant to be awakened at dawn by the sweet songs of these little feathered warblers, or would be if they came three or four hours later.
Litchfield enquirer., 1878-05-23

A Californian philosopher has extracted the following reply from school-boy to the query, "How is the earth divided, my lad d?" By earthquakes, Sir"
Litchfield enquirer., 1878-05-23

Jennie June says fashionable bonnet can
 be had for a dollar and and half And so it can. It is from six to twenty dollars wortf, of trimming that strikes the pocketbook in a
Litchfield enquirer., 1878-05-23

Catching California salmon in Kentucky river does not entitle man to the rank of col onel, whatever the state papers may say. To be real Colonel man must first get himself on the governors staff
Litchfield enquirer., 1878-05-23

A subscriber wrote to a journal to make some inquiries about the next worlds fair, whereupon the wicked editor replied that he was under the impression that the next world wouldn't have any fair.
Litchfield enquirer., 1878-05-23

Mark Twain told newspaper reporter that he was going abroad in order to find quiet place to write, where he would not be disturb ed once day It is singular that it never oc- cured to him to remain at home and secure desk in store that doesn't advertise
Litchfield enquirer., 1878-05-23

The usual number of people went to the circus yesterday ''just because the children want to go. you know" That gxey-headed old lie has done duty on circus day almost as long as the freshest circus jokes have been in use, say million years.
Litchfield enquirer., 1878-05-23

A man in Maine applied for five gallons of rum for mechanical purposes "For what mechanical purposes p ''For raising barn, " wasthe reply.
Litchfield enquirer., 1878-05-23

Agents of the English government are in this country buying war horses. If they want to get hold of some A No. 1 chargers we would recommend them to Niagara hackmen.
Litchfield enquirer., 1878-05-23

'I told her I'd never smoke another cigar, :" he said softly, land I won't. A pipes plenty good enough for me."-and he gracefully drew a match.
Litchfield enquirer., 1878-05-23

Professor eloquently holding forth to the junior rhetoric class. One of it's members, on the back seat, likewise eloquentlv holding forth to her neighbor.) Professor-'1 beg pardon, Miss A., l believe interrupted you" Miss A-"Oh, no, not at all had finished"
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-05-09
A Cheap Commodity.

Advice is cheap, consequently, many
people are fond of giving it away. "If
he had only taken my advice" says Mr..
Wiseacre, things might have been
different. True, they might have been
much worse. For do we not all know,
or believe we know, our own affairs, our
own necessities, our own desires, better
than any other mortal can ever know
them, g ven though that other may be
our most intimate friend? And no mat.
tor how unreserved our confidence, how
frank our admissions regarding the Cir
cumstances in which we are placed, will
there not always be some point or points
on which we cannot be fully explicit to
any human ear? So, even while we i'm
agine that we have perfectly explained
our own position, or haves as perfectly
comprehended the situation of another,
some detail will always be wanting,
whose omission changes the whole case;
perhaps makes the counsel which seemed
so judicious entirely impracticable.
Don't worry yourselves, then, over the
good advice SO often wasted on your
friends, but try to remember that as
you never can occupy their exact stand
point. so you never can be an infallible
judge of their proper conduct. To be
sure, in some cases, your advice may be
necessary; give it then humbly, not ar
rogantly, and be content that it is ac-
cepted even with reluctance; for advice,
at best, is a nauseous pill to swallow.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-05-09
A Pithx nialoeue.

The Raleigh IN. o. Observer has q
strong belief that the regular tramps
securing the country are regularly
organized, that they have general un-
derstandipg with one another, and
make themselves known to each other
by means of O series of questions and
answers. The Observers local paid q
visit, in company with the sheriff, to
the Jail where number of the brother
hood had recently been committed, and
records the following dialogue as having
taken place
From whence came you p
"From town in New York, called
Jerusalem"
"What's your business hereP"
"To learn to subdue my appetite and
to sponge my living from an indulgent
public"
"Then you are a regular tramp,
presumep"
Il am SO taken and accepted wherever
I go?"
"How am I to recognize you as a
tramp2"
"By the largeness of my feet and
general carnivorous appearance.
How do you know yourself to be a
tramp ?"
In seeking food by being often
denied, but ready to try again."
How gained you admittance into
this town."
"By good many long tramps."
How were you received ?"
"On the end of night policeman's g
billy, presented to my head.
"How did the policeman dispose of
you"
"He took me several times around
the town to the south, east and west,
where ne found the chief of police,
mayor and the jailer, where great
many questions were asked"
"What advice did the judge give
you?"
"He advised me to walk in upright,
regular steps, and to renounce tramp
ing."
"Will you be off or fromp"
"With your permission I'll be of
very quick gpick." 49, 49,. -.. ..,.u 0,
"East."
"Of what are you in PURSUIT. ?"
Work-which, by my own endeavors
and the assistance of others, I hope ]
shall never be able to find."
"My friend, you are now at an insti-
tuition where the wicked are always
troublesome and the weary are as bad as
the rest. You will now be conducted to
the middle chamber by fight OF
winding stairs, consisting of five OF
more steps. Instead of corn, wine and
oil-the wages of the ancients-yours
will be bread and water for five days
When your company escape from this
place divide yourselves into parties oi
three each, take bee line for Norfoll
or Richmond, where in winter they
usually run free soup houses, and you
may be pardoned ON condition Of youl
never returning. pointing to the
turnkey follow your conductor ant
fear no dangcr-If you behave your
| ca1f -
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-05-09
N. rbe plnokine bau 70 be endured

ton. The plucking has to be endured
by the victim twice year; that is, the
tail, and the primary wing feathers,
which are the only white ones, are
plucked, and also the secondary wing
feathers, these being the black ones,
which are valuable, but not 30 much SO
as the others. When the harvest OF
plumes has been collected they are
taken into the feather room and sorted
into lots of various qualities. The
white primary rim from under the bird's 9
wing produces the best plumes. These
are frequently sold for as high price as
$125 per pound.
In spite of the difficulties to be con-
tended with, MIR. Douglass has been en-
abled to make ostrich-farming in his
own particular case complete success.
As said elsewhere, there are now at his
establishment about 300 birds, which,
counting both young and old, are worth
about $3.50 apiece. These produce on
an average feathers to value OF $75
per annum. The labor about the place
is performed by coolies, except that
which falls to the lot of the owner and
two or three young men who are with
him and are learning the work under
his instruction, The coolies live each in
his own hut with his wife and family.
They receive sum amounting to ebout
81 per month and rations; these consist
of two pounds of meat and two of mealies
day. He is also given permission to
build his hut upon the place and to
burn his masters fuel. Coffee he may
buy from his masters store, provided he
desires the luxury.-Harper's Weekly.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-05-09
Life.

The general character of life is that of
monotony. Whether we regard the life
Of man, or the life of beasts, we are
struck by the same remarkable fact, that
life, to all outward appearance, is a
monotonous succession of scenes and
movements-all but inehtical. We won-
der how the interest is kept up. But
we never tire of going to bed at night ;
and we are very sorry when we get tired
of getting up in the morning. We
never weary, except with regret, of
breakfasting, dining, and supping and
yet these actions are repeated incessant-
ly three hundred and sixty-fve times in
the year, with renewed excitement on
every succeeding occasion. We take
off our clothes once every day, and we
put them on once every day. We do
this, at nearly the same hour, in daily
succession and when health is good,
the pleasure from 80 doing is not marred
by the repetition of the act for the
ebbing and flowing of our bodily sensa-
tions prepare us, without any efforts on
our part, for all the vicissitudes of our
existence. When hungry, food is agree
able; when weary, sleep or rest is a
treat when warm, the cool air is agree
able when cold, the pleasure derived
from cheerful fireside and comfort
able supper is delicious. The excite
ment is kept up by the contrasts and
we purchase the enjoyment of one
feeling by encouraging the reverse.
With health, and youth, and prosperity,
we should never be weary. 1t is age,
and weakness, and poverty that prepare
us for death and even that comes easy,
upon most men at least, like sleep,
and the heaviness of the heart gives even
the last sleep a welcome.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-05-09
A Brilliant Mans Sad Story.

He came into the editorial rooms of
the Tribune about noon to-day, q poor,
shattered, tattered victim Of rum. He
had been q journalist, published
magazine, been prosperous and success
ful, was a college graduate, had been
successful in business, held public office
in another State and had, between the
ages of sixteen and twenty-eight, lived a
life in itself. He had turned from the
business of publishing magazine to the
travelling representative of Wholesale
liquor house, and the appetite had grown
upon him. Whisky, he said, had got the
better of him, but DR.. D'Unger was ex-
and he had new hope. He wan ed work.
Would the city editor try to find it for
him? He would, but cinchonia must
work its perfect cure first. And then he
told the story of his ill-spent life, while
his nerveless hands and arms trembled
in the tattered sleeves of his faded coat.
He had new hope, he said, and felt that
there was new life dawning upon him.
Beneath his old coat and dirty shirt there
was energy and ability yet, he continu-
ed, if he could only break loose from the
evil that had beset him. Would the
editor like a poem ? The editor would
see after it was written, and then he
scratched off the following in legible
hand:
'Tis dark, stormy night, yet over life's ocean
A meteor bright through the darkness appears
As chips that are saved from the billows' COM
motion,
Or stars that shine out through the hearts 8
bitter tears.
And this bright star will guide me while all else
is f1eeting,
While friendship may change and kind for
tune fail,
AS hope for a home where a bright sun is
beaming,
Unknown to cloud and ne'er swept by a
gale.
To the bright star Of Hope DER my pathway now
beaming.
| guide to my boat over the dark ocean wild,
When I think Of q home where sad mother
dreaming
So often beholds the loved form Of her child.
"ToMMY."
Would the Tribune publish it =? Yes
He would come again and his case would
be examined, and he went out pitiable
specimen of ability, education and ener-
gy prostrated by the excessive use of
quor.-Mnneapolis (Minn.) Tribune.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-05-09

=
A few months, or even weeks since, her
pallid oountenance was the very type of rudy
health delight OF the school and the pride
Of the household. She was always welcome
wherever duty or pleasure led her Diligent,
punctual, and exemplary, in the class room,
obedient and loving at home, she won the
hearts of all. But alas those glowing cheeks
and lips are now blanched by consumption.
The voice once so enchanting in laugh and
song is feeble, husky and broken by hollow
cough. Let us approach her couch and gently
take her bloodless hand in our own. Do not
shudder because Of its feeble passionless grasp.
The hand once 80 warm and plump shows its
bony outlines, while the cords and tortuous
veins are plainly mapped upon its surface.
The pulse that bounded with repletiou, impart-
the system, is delicate to the touch. The en-
ervated heart feebly propels the thin scanty
blood. Must we lose her while yet 30 young
and 30 fair2 No. There is relief. But some
thing more is required than the observance of
hygienic rules, for eRfeebled nature calls for
aid and she must have it. Administer this
pleasant medicine. 1t is invigorating. It al
lays the irritable cough, improves the appetite
and Digestion and sends healthy tingle
through her whole being. The blood is en-
bounds with a new impulse. Her face bright
ens-the blood is returning, her voice is clearer
and her requests are no longer delivered in that
peevish. fretful tone so deadening to sympathy.
Her step is still faltering, but strength is rap
idly returning. Let us take her out in the
warm life giving sunshine. In few weeks
che will go without our aid and be able to join
her companions in their pleasant pastimes and
feel her whole being ''warmed and expanded
into perfect life." The change is so great that
we think she is sweeter and nobler than ever
before. And the medicine which has wrought
this transformation, we look upon as a blessing
to humanity, for there are other loved ones to
be rescued from the grasp Of the insidious de-
stroyer. DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery
has raised her. 1t will raise others.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-05-09
A Dwarf with n Huge Head.

The name of the dwarf is Levi Burd-
sail Hopkins. His father is with him
and attends to the taking in of the quar-
ters of those who come to see his son.
The boy lies upon a short bed, in room
otherwise vacant. He is indeed a mon
strosity. Probably no person with so
large head has ever lived to attain this
persons age, the size being thirty-three
inches-nearly yard. His body is very
small, and seems to have entirely shrunk
away. He has but one limb that he uses,
and that is the left arm. The others lie
as lifeless as so many sticks. They are
insensible to pain of any kind, and never
suffer from cold or heat. The develop
ment of the head seems to be entirely in
the upper region, which gives it the
appearance of pear. The chin and
cheeks are about the average size, as are
also the eyes, ears and nose. The "sweil-
ing" begins just above these organs. and
extends gradually to the top of his head,
which is well nigh fiat. The skin seems
to have been drawn up by the action,
and hence has kept the eyes in quite a
peculiar shape. He sees straight when
he, lying in bed, looks at those stand
ing at the head of it.
"You say he is twenty-three years
old ?" said reporter to the boys father.
"When was he born and where %
"He was born in Worth county, No.,
in 1856"
"Was his head of unusual size when
he was born ?"
"No, but it soon began to grow, and
continued to do SO until the child was
fifteen months of age. While it was
growing there were great seams in his
head, and he cried a great deal. Now
he does not appear to suffer-"
"What are his habits ?"
"They are very few and exceedingly
simple. He has never been able to turn
himself in bed since he was born. Every
want has to be supplied, and he requires
the most watchful care. He seems to
live only in his head and stomach. He
is almost incapable of sensation outside
of his own natural wants. He eats and
drinks with good appetite, and sleeps
about as regularly as other people. His
health has always been good, with one
or two exceptions, when he had chills. .
els he intelligent?"
"Oh, quite 80. He talks and sings
as you can very easily demonstrate by
speaking to him."
The suggestion was adopted, and the
conversation was then carried on be
tween the reporter and the dwarf. HI
speaks with some difficulty, and abou
as intelligently as the ordinary back
woods boy. He is more like child thar
a man, yet lacks the vivacity of child
He enjoys the society of children to {
great extent, and has many of the Gus
toms of children. He has destroyed al
his teeth by eating candy.-Denver zri
bune.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-05-09

Cinnamon who have returned to their
native country, after residence in the
United States, have introduced the
growing of wheat to take the place of
rice as a food staple. 1t is claimed that
with the close care given to agriculture
in that country, the yield seldom falls
below forty bushels to the acre and that
labor is SO low that twenty-five cents a
bushel returns an average profit.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-05-09
FOR THE YOUNG PEOPLE.
VIII Pennies Grow .

Will Pennies Grows
Mr.. Gardener, please to tell ua
How soon will pennies grow2
Alfe has one in his pocket,
Which we are going to SOW.
"He fetched his little spade,
Saying, Oracle, come with me,
We will dig, and plant this money-seed,
And make 1t grow tree.
"We want heap Of pennies,
To help the poor, you know;
SO tell us please, dear gardener,
How soon will pennies grow2"
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-05-09

The killing of a woman in a Woon-
socket Or. l. variety show is an exhibit
ton of workmanship has led to the pre-
sentation of bills in seven Legislatures
forbidding similar performances. In
several cases the proposed law includes
all dangerous feats, such as the use OF
the trapeze and the tight rope; but gen.
orally only shooting and knife throwing
are under the ban.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-05-09
CHEW
The Celebrated
"MAToHLEss"
Wood Tag Plug
ToBAooo.
The PIONEER TOBACCO COMPANY,
New York, Boston, and Chicago.

tie of Johnson's Anodyne Liniment will effec-
tually cure bronchitis, infammatory sore
throat, sore lungs, bleeding at the lungs,
chronic hoarseness, hacking cough, whooping
cough and lame stomach.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-05-09
CONSUMPTION Can Be Cured.

PUIMONA is a certain remedy for the CUBE OF
and all diseases of the Lungs
and Throat. It invgorates the brain, tones up the
syste makes the weak strong and is pleasant 70 take
Proprietor receipt of price. pamphlet containing
valuable advice to Consumptivcs. many certinoetes
ACTUAL CURES and full directions for using accom-
panes each bottle, will he sent free to any address
OSCAR G.. MOSES, y Cortland, Street, New York
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-05-09

The Greatest Discovery OF unc Age is DR.
Tobias celebrated Venetian Lnment 80 years before
the public and warranted to Diarrhea, Dysentery
Ooo, and Spasms taken internally and Oroup. Chronic
Rheumatism, Sore Throats, Outs Bruises, Old Sores
and Pains in the Limbs, Back, and lest, EXTERNAL,
1t has failed No family will be without il
after giving it fair trial. Price, 40 cents. De
TOBIAS VENETIAN HORSE LINIMENT, in Pint
Bottles at One Dollar, is warranted superior to
other NO PAY, for the Of Oolic Outs, Bruises
Old Sores, etc. Sold by all Druggists. Depot-1O Parl
Place New York
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-05-09
"DooIev,. Yeast Powder,,,

Said a lady. S6as made itself Indispensable in
our kitchen. Our biscuit, cake. w flies, muf-
fins, and such like things With ITS AID q. are re
without ii in our family. We have used il for
over fifteen years, and it has never disap-
pointed US yet"
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-05-09

Strong Nerves an Attainubie Blessing.
There are many who have never known the
blessing of strong nerves, having been born
with weak ones Those who have, and, through
disease or some other cause, have suffered a
loss OF nerve power can by contrast, more
fully appreciate the magnitude Of that loss,
The true way to repair it is to invigorate the
system through the medium Of improved di-
gestion, secretion, and the establishment of a
regular habit Of body, three results invariably
accomplished by the use of Hostetter's stomach
Bitters, which insures the thorough conver-
sion of the food into pure nourishing blood,
from which the nerves, in common with every
other part of the bodily economy gather vigor,
the grand prerequisite Of health. The greaI
objection to sedatives and narcotics is, that
they not only exert nc tonic Influence, but are
always followed by hurtful reaction. Such is
far from being the case with the Bitters, the
primary action of which is most salutary, and
whose after effects are beneficial in tue extreme
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-05-09
past eight years:

A lady joked the other day about her
nose, said, 81 had nothing to do in
shaping it. 1t was birthday present. {"
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-05-09
Increase in Agricultural Products.

The following table shows the increase
in the agricultural products and farming
stock of the United States during the
past eight wears: ..t