Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1878-02-20


+ heaven with nobody but men,
Laughter and applause,
How TO Burn q Barn.
1t ID the easiest thing In the world
It few simple directions arC follow
cd Use an old,tashlOned tlnlanterr
at night, through whose roughly
punched sides only the minimum oI
light eau penetrate, and whose door
must necessarily 10 open to enable
you to sec anything. Set It down IN
the bedding while you 60 up in the
hay lott TO throw down feed, aud the
chances are good that your hungry
horse or friSky COW will kick il over,
as Mrs, OLcary's did in Chicago, and
set the barn on fire, 1t you have moi
q in lantern, carry a candle, or open
lamp, aud use it in the same way
II the night is windy, feel your way
out to the barn the best you can, aud
light your candle inside with matches,
and let the match.ends take care OF
thcmselves--they are small affairs
anyhow,
On rainy days make the barn your
rendezvous for smoking and whit
Ting, and talking politics with intelll
gent neighbors who have leisure hours
on their hands as you have. Do not
be stingy with your pipes and tobac
co, and keep plenty OF matches lying
around loose, so they will be handy to
fire up with. A few social afternoons
spent in this way will, not unlikely,
enable you to get the barn burned.
Never lock barn door. Padlocks
are expensive. and u wooden peg will
keep the thing shut just as we'll as
are poor people constantly on the road
("tramps," they are called by unieel'
ING, well-to-do people, who have
nice, comfortable homes OF their OWN
who need nights lodging as well as
other folks, and who will be attracted
by the hospitable appearance OF an
unlocked barn door. These gentle
men are not, as an average thing, OF
literary turn of mind, but they &c
sometimes carry short pieces o.
candles in their pockets, with which
to look over scraps OF newspapers anc
other things in the interior of barns
where they spend their nights, an'
=, they almost invariably have suppl!
of matches with which to light thel
pipes as they takea "nightcap' smok'
on the baymow before closing the'
gentle eyes in slumber.
Never clean up your barn. 1t in
wolves great deal of labor to b'
particular about a barn--in sweeping
the floor and cleaning up the stalls
and tastidiously disposing OF the rak
', ings and droppiugs, aud odds ant
ends, which accumulate and make
pleasant carpet for the feet ii LEI
alone. All this refuse when it be-
> comes dry is easily ignited, and Offer
handy food for incipient fires, whlcl
, may Le kindled by all ambition
8 match, dropped during the day step
:, ped on as you pass through at night
Do not pay attention to thosehyper
, scientific people, who are everlast'ng'!
,aIking about spontaneous combustion
in haymows. Never mind ii you
hay is wet you do not want to o'
al the year waiting for it to drv.-
= Now it away; tramp it down. let i
3 dry at its leisure; scout at the 'aea o o
moisture setting hay ON fire "A rldi
culous newspaper reporter the o'ne'
day actually printed an item about ar
extra high tide setting a warehouse
on fire, because the water reached
some lime stored in the cellar JUS
as if water could set anything on tire
As with your hay, so with youl
grain. Suppose it is damp, what harm
will it do! Don't fool away YOU
time in drying it put it in the bin
shut it up tight, and go to bed like {
wise mau, without firing yourself with
over-particularity,
These directions, all OF them, OF
part of them, faithfully adhered to
|. will beyond doubt enable you to ge
your barn burned.- Farm & Fireside
A beautiful woman has been de
scribed as the paradise Of the eye aud