The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-04-18
She Wanted Two.

There is no reason why the inventor
Of a remedy to "cure the worst case of
catarrh inside of five minutes" shouldn' t
feel 1t his duty to place bottle of the
same in every PERSONS hand-"price
twenty-five cents; no cure no pay"
Therefore, the long-legged chap who
pulled dOor-bell on John X. street
yesterday had none of that timidity in
his bearing which characterizes rag
buyers, lightning rod men and solicitors
for the fire sufferers. He had a good
thing and he knew it. When the door
opened and a hard-featured woman
about forty years of age confronted him
he pleasantly went to business and
asked -
MADAM is your husband ever trou-
bled with the catarrh 2"
"Can man who has been dead seven
years be troubled with the catarrh :"
she grimly replied.
"But the children are liable to be at
taxed at any hour this season." he re-
marked.
"Whose children?"
"Yours, madam"
81 never had any, sir What brought
you here, anyway! Why do you come
asking these questions ?"
"Madam, have compounded rem
edy for the catarrh. 1t is a good thing.
I'll warrant it to knock any case of
catarrh sky-high in less than five min
utes."
"Well, sir, what is all this to me ?"
"Why, madam-why-" he stam-
mered.
"Do look as if needed any catarrh
remedies ?" she demanded, as she step
ped out on the platform.
"Madam, would not for the world
have you think that thought you had
the catarrh, but l suppose the fair and
lovely can be attacked as well as the
strong and brave"
And what have got to do with all
that rigmarole? Who are you, sir, and
what do you want?"
Madam" he whispered, backing
down one step, 81 have compound
remedy for the catarrh."
"Whose catarrh, sir?"
MADAM. l am selling my catarrh-"
Where is your catarrh-where is
?" she interrupted
He got down on the second step and
softly began:-
"Madam, have sure cure for the
catarrh and l am selling lots of it,"
"Well, what do | care? Must you
ring my door-bell and tell me that you
are selling lots of catarrh medicine ?"
He got down on the walk, clear of
the steps, and he tried hard to look
beautifully around the mouth as he eX-
planned:
MADAM, didn't | ask you if your
husband was ever troubled with
catarrh ?"
Eyes, sir, and didn't reply that ne
was deadP Do you want to see his
grave, sir"
"No, madam. do not. am sorry
he's dead, but my catarrh remedy can't
help him any, Goodby, madam"
T. "Here, sir, hold on a minute!' she
called; "what was your business with
me?"
"Why, have remedy for the
catarrh."
$50 you said before"
81 asked you if you didn't want to
purchase and"
"You are falsifier, sir-you never
asked me to purchase ~
"Do-you-want- bottle ?" he
slowly asked.
eyes, sir, give me two of them !;
here's your money! Next time you
want to sell your catarrh remedy don't
begin to talk about the discovery of
America by Columbus. Here you've
bothered me fifteen minutes and put all
my work behind, and it's good for you
that l didn't bring the broom to the
door" !"
He retreated backward through the
gate, his left eye squinted up and his
mouth open. He shut the gate, leaned
over it and looked long at the front
door. BY and by he said =
"Darn 'em! You can never tell
where to find 'em! !"