Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1878-11-27
RICH MEMS SAYINGS.
A Budget Of Funny Stories of
Gotham MilliOnaires.
Noah's Sunday Time

1 hNk1ulOIIdlTcSs
Noah's Sunday Times.
| Commodore Garrison was warm
friend OF the late Prince John Van Bu-
rem. One summer the Prince, while
| spending the season at Saratoga, was in
want OF Il steady coachman, as Mrs. Van
Buren, was exceedingly nervous. The
Commodore, by way of a joke, sent him
up one of his old sea-dogs, who was
hanging around the office in want of q
| job. The sailor, who was much more
accustomed to steering than to driving
pulled the port rein when he wanted to
go to the starboard side, and as con-
sequence he created a sensation on the
avenue. The Prince, getting impatient
at this performance, stood up in the
carriage and Indignantly demanded of
the cOachman where he had been en-
ployed before. 81 used to steer the
captains gig" replied the man, with a
brogue, san sure, av can steer the
captains gig, why the divil can't drive
your cOach?"
Daniel Drew built church at Carmel,
Putnam county, not far from the spot
where he drove cattle in his younger
days. On tablet above the entrance
Daniel let the world know THAI he was
the founder and builder OF this church.
'Mr. Drew" said an old Methodist
minister to the ci-devant millionaire,
''your church always reminds me of this
couplet from Pope:
He who builds church to God and not to
fame,
Will never mark the marble with his name"
There is wealthy brewer in Mon
treai who built church and inscribed
on it: This Church was Erected by
Thomas Nelson at His Sole Expense
Hebrews, Xxx chapter" Some OF the
Mc(iill College ways got ladder one
night and altered the inscription 80 as
to make it read: This Church was
Erected by Thomas Nelson at his Souls
Expense. He brews (double) XXX"
General Horace Porter, Vice Presi-
dent of the Pullman Palace Car Com
pany, was asked by friend recently if
he had heard any news of Angel, the
defaulting treasurer of the company.
THAT man is fallen Angel now" said
the General, "but wish to heaven he
had never been more than a cherub,
one OF those little fellows all head and
Wlllk, dlll NOu Dtt, TIC NOul'l lltNtf nave
known the use of pockets"
Anthony ]. Blocker, the well-known
real-estate auctiOnOer, was asked recent
ly by Mr.. John Kelly to appraise piece
OF property for the city. When he pre-
sented his bill the Controller demurred
at paying it, remarking that the sum was
quite as much as the salary of one of his
clerks. "Mr Kelly" said the veteran
auctioneer, II am not clerk in my
profession; ana boss" "BOSs" Kelly
laughed, and paid the bill withoutfurther
comment.
Robert Lennox the milkman and liter
airy recluse, has a passion for making
collections OF things, rich and curious.
He has ample means to crafty refined
tastes, and takes great delight in roaming
around Nassau Street among the book
stands, and, in fact, there are few nookes
and corners in this city which he has
not visited. Not very long ago he entered
a store on Sixth avenue and asksd the
person in waiting ii he had any collec-
tons. COLLECTIONS" queried the
shopkeeper with perplexed air, and
then, as an idea struck him, added:
"No, | haven't any, but Joseph Stiner,
who lives on Ninth street has" "What
kind are they" demanded Mr.. Lennox.
"Kind!" exclaimed the man in great as
constituent, "why he is collector OF
taxes" In mellow moments, over the
walnuts and the wine, Mr.. Lennox is
fond of relating this mnecdote.
1t was not very pleasant duty to
have to interview the late Commodore
Vanderbilt, who disliked intensely to
have any interference with his business.
A reporter called one morning relative
to some contemplated change IN the
grade of one of the roads in which the
railway monarch was interested. Good
morning, Mr.. Vanderbilt" said the
scribe with conciliatory smile, full OF
untold sweetness; II have called to
ascertain ii you contemplate changing
the grade of the New York Central?"
The old gentleman turned grimly on
his seat, and reckoning the reporter to
his side, responded "See here, sonny,
it's none of your business" Thank
Won. Commodore gulped the taken
back reporter, who expected good sto-
nv for the paper. "There is no necessity
for thanks; good morning sir! and
with bow. the stately old gentleman
dismissed the scribe, who sought shy OF
ever interviewing him again.
The late Stephen W. Whitney left
such large amount OF property entail
ell in the vicinity of the Produce Ex-
change that that institution cannot find
space in that locality to erect its new
building. Mr.. Whitney was a most
careful man, and brought up his grand
children in the strictest notions OF econ
omv. One of the boys at Lake Maho-
pac, few years ago, went out fishing
with fine red and caught nothing,
while little ragged urchin from the
village, with hickory rod and bent pin,
raised basket of sinners. "My boy,
take warning by this" said the old man,
who was looking on in q reflective mood;
.those with the most advantages often
fail to profit by them" He entailed
his property in such way that ii could
only be devided wnen the youngest
child comes OF age.