Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-06-30

harmony in all further proceedings. Mr..
Thumbledirk viewing these signs of
carelessness with inward alarm, conciev-
ed the happy idea that the baby needed
a change Of position. So he stood it up
on its feet.
It Is unnecessary to tell any mother of a
family that by the execution Of this ap-
pareDtly very simple movement, the un-
| happy man had every thread of that
baby's clother under its arms and around
its neck in an instant. A general but
suppressed giggle went around the room.
Mr.. Thumbledirk blushed: redder and
hotter then ever, and the astonished baby,
after one Mortified look at its strange
guardian, whimpered uneasily.
Mr. Thumbledirk, not daring to risk
the sound of his voice, would have dane
ed the baby up and down, but its little
legs bent themselves into such appalling
crescents the first time he let the cherub's
weight upon them, that the wretched
man knew in his heart Of hearts that he
had forever and eternally most hopeiessly
bowed" them, and felt that he could
never again look a bow-legged man in
the face without spasm OF remorse.
AS for meeting the father Of this beau
tiful boy, whose life he had blighted
with pair OF crooked legs-never, he
would face death itself first. And in
coming years whenever he met this boy
waddling to school on pair Of legs like
ice-tongs, he would gaze upon them as
his own guilty work, and would tremble
lest the wrath of the avengiDg gods
should fall upon him.
Alarmed at the gloomy shadows which
these distressing thoughts cast over Mr..
Thumbledirk' face the baby drew itself
up into knot and walled. Mr.. Thum-
bledirk balanced it carefully on his
hands and handled it, for all the world
as he would ''hett" watermelon In
stantly the baby Strengthened itself ,out
with such alarming CELEBRITY that the tor
tured dry nurse cought it by the heels
just in time to save it from falling to the
floor
"He'll kill that child YETI said the
gloomy woman who talked bass, and
MIR. Thumbledirk felt the blood curdle
in colo waves i'll his veins. By this time
the baby was screaming like caliope,
and the noise added iaexpressibly to Mr..
Thumbledirk's confusion and distress.
He would have trotted the baby on his
knee. but the attempt occasioned too
much comment. The fat woman with
the market basket said:
"Oh.h, the little dear!'
And the short, pretty woman snapped
her eyes and said.
'Oh-h-h! how cruel!'
And the woman in the black bomba-
zine, and the woman in the sun bonnet
said:
"Oh-h-h Just look at him.
And the woman who talked bass said,
in her most sepulchral and penetrating
accents:
"The mans a fool.''
And the baby itself, utterly ignoring
the fact that Mr.. Thumbledirk was la
boring in its own interests, threw all the
distractions it could in the way of furth-
er proceedings by alternately straighten-
ing itself out into an abnormal condition
ofsuch appalling rigidity, that Mr. Thum-
bledirk was obliged to hold it's head tight
! ly in one hand and its hee's in the other,
and then suddenly doubling itself up into
20 small a knot that the poor man han to
hold his two hands close together, like a
bowl, and hold the baby as he would a
pint Of sand, and these transitions from
one extreme to the other were made with
such startling rapidity and appalling sud-
denness, that Mr.. Thumbledirk had to be
constantly on the alert, and his arms
ached so, and he exhibited such signs Of
fatigue and distress that the depot police
man looked in to say to him that if he
was tired out, he would send in section
hand or the steam shovel to give him a
spell
It seemed to M. Thumbledirk that he
never heard SO much noise come from so
small baby in his life. The more he
turned ii around and tossed it about the
more its cloak and dress, and skirts and
| things became entangled around its neck,
and now and then mass of drapery
would get on the baby's face and stifle its
cries for second, but the noise would
come out stronger than ever when the
tossing little hands would tear away the
obstruction. And the louder the baby
screamed the faster the vigorous fat legs
flew kicking in every direction, like
crazy hy-wheels with the rim off. Some
times Mr.. Thubledirk made as high as a
as a hundred and eighty grabs minute
at those legs and never touched one of
them. He was hot, blind and wild with
terror and confusion. Once he tried to
sing to the baby, but when he quayered
out "Hootchy, pootehy, pudden' and
pie, " the women laughed, all but the
gloomyione who talked bass-she SMILED,
and he stopped. He gave the baby his
! pearl handled knife, and the innocent
| threw it into the stove. He gave it his
| gold watch, and it dashed it on the floor.
He gave it his emerald scarf pin, and the
| baby put it into its mouth.
The pretty woman screamed.
The sad woman in the bombazine
shrieked.
The angular woman in the bonnet
yelled, ooh, mercy on us ~
| The fat woman with the market basket
called wildly for doctor
I The gloomy woman who talked bass
shouted hoarsely: @
And Mr. Thumbledirk hooked his fin
ger into that child's mouth and choked it
until its face was purple and black,
trying to find that pin. And Mr.. Thum-
/ 4 Il. II L