Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1878-11-02

Big Words and Gesd ass-ksepins.
A little woman With tsar tssnblins
on The end Of her poss sas bsea valk.
ing up and down the hall for I'm min
utes, and - the last visitor departed
she entered the parlor where BIsh
superintends the operations Of jastice.
sank into the rocking chair and timid
~ asked:
Mr.. Joy. can / trust you?"
Madam. You cam he promptly re-
piled. don't like to hear . man
praise himself, but / believe can 20
to any grocery in Detroit and get
trusted for one dozen clothes pins with
ont having g. leave any security what
ever. nos have in my possession
twenty five cents which we're handed
to me by a stree: car driver to buy him
some tinted note paper, and il I en-
tezzle one cent Of IT I hope to he bald.
headed all nv days. Yes. madam, You
can trust me-"
II l Was married about three years
ago. began the woman, after consider
able hes ta,ion.
Don't doubt il in the least. maiiam,
AMI l suppose it was a case IL love-
1T SEEMED So. Nv husband seemed
TO 'hink everything OF me. and kno~
almost worshippel him. We acre
very. very happy until year ago."
Yes. l suppose SO, madam. AsMil-
ton says:
He called M his birdie--his angel
I thought him the dearest on earth;
And re Ill dane. all niytt NIL hra al A.v
And-and-and 50 forth
"A few months ago." she softly con .
tinu~d. she began finding fault with
me because did not use more big
words in talking. and he said that m
grammar was perfectly awful. Not q
day passes that he does not upbraid
me, and sometimes l even wish / were
dead!'
Madam, does he find any fault with
your cooking?"
mo, not any"
"And in making the bed you don't
get the foot the highest"
"Oh, no."
"And he never finds the buttons off
his shirts-never comes home to meals
aud finds the stove cold, and you Cos.
blppiuS ONoI JIG gaze!
"He never has to wait one minute for
any of his meals, SIR"
"Your husband had no fault to find
for year or two-didn't seem to notice
your lack of big words while the honey
moon lasted?"
emo"
Every we'll, madam, your husbands
coat is too big to fit him in the back.
but l think we can put another on him.
Now, then, will YOU do as I tell you
to?"
''Oh, sir, couldn't poison him
couldn't do such thing!" she ex-
claimed.
"Pizen. madam? Do I resemble
fiend? Do seem like murderer? I
don't want You to kill him, but I want
to help you win back his love and get
his nose down where it used to be.
What time do you have supper"
cat six, SIR"
"Well, you go home from here and
upset two or three chairs in the sitting
room, toss the broom out doors, scatter
the contents OF the work basket AROUND
the house, and make things look as il
there had been o tramp meeting held
there put in just half enough tea,
burn your biscuit, and for sauce cut
up the hardest peaches you can find in
the market. AS he comes home have
on an old dress and your hair down,
and the minute he enters the house
you must remark that the loneliness
of the evening seems to percolate the
entire catastrophe of the hygenic in
f.ence. Big words, you seo-gram-
mar till his hair stands up! If he finds
fault with the supper, tell him that the
encumbranco appears to elucidate the
tarantula, and if that doesn't fetch him
you can continue to affiliate with the
pabnlistic enigma. Give him big words
and bad biscuit-XXX grammar and
sloppy tea-and I'll bet five hundred
bag buildings agin penny whistle
that he'll get up from that table with
his nose as low down as the mercury
in Jauuary.-DotroU Free Press.