The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1878-09-26
FLASHES.

The man who stoops from age has
been endorsed on the back by tune.
Never ask young lady why her
lack hair doesn't match that in front.
1t is not polite to bite corn from the
cob in the presence of people who have
false teeth.
DR.. Carver, the shooter, rarely fails;
hut he made happy miss lately. He
married her.
The Germans say that more people
dig their graves with their teeth than
with spades,
Ohio has boy with three eyes. Lord
help the fellow who goes to see that
boys big sisters.
The camp meeting horn which
sounds before breakfast is not the horn
usually taken by sinners.
\ youngster who had been stung by
a.bce, told his father he bad kicked a
bee with q splinter in his tail.
1t is generally acknowledged by
thinking people that the universal bone
of contention isthe jaw bone.
"Weil, there is something in that" !"
as the man said when he tried to pnt
on his boot with a kitten in it..
When Adam was half through nam,
ing his descendants, he got tired, and
said :-"Let's quit, and cali the rest
Smith"
A ouidnunk IL an individual who
goes about stealing other folks time.
and phooling away his own.-Josh
Bf}}mye
Glow greedy you are - said one
little girl to another who had taken the
best apple in the dish ; 81 was going
10 take that"
1t was thoughtful observer who
said that the side>door of a bar-room is
like great many peoples prayer books,
open only on Sunday.
y girl at Waukegan, on the 4th Of
July, swallowed twenty percussion caps.
Her mother reirains froui spanking her
for fear of an explosion.
Men are just like trout--after you
hev hooked them, give the smartest and
biggest of them string enuff and you are
sure Of them,-Josh Billings.
"How came you to have such short
nose ?" asked a city dandy Of country
boy. $50 that would not he poking
into other peoples business" was the
reply.
When it comes to destroying sleep,
COW with bell on will double discount
guilty conscience and beat it ninety
seven points out of possible hun
drcd.
"My son hold up your head and tell
Inc who was the strongest man:" 500
nah !" "Why so ?" "Cos the whale
couldn't hold him after he got him
down."
\ visitor to an art gallery said: 81
like the statoos be.ter'n | do the pic
ters. / kin 60 all round the statoos
but I kin only see one side of the
picters."
The same backache which makes a
boy howl when he's digging potatoes
wreathes his face with smiles when he
slips off the back way to the picnic.
Boys are curious insects.
"Ycs," said an old lady, refectivcly,
''it is now very common to telegraph,
and they say it'll soon be still more
common to telephone, but [ think it'll
always be more common to tell a tb."
A man may blow around on sire 9
corners and last for two or three cam
raigns; but if he ever blows down the
chimney of q kerosene lamp his ac-
count with the world will close immedi-
a,cly.
"What is the national air of this
country:?' asked n foreigner in Wash-
ington. "Ihat'S the national lair" re-
piled nati"e, pointing to the Capitol,
"but the animals are out in the jungle
Just now, chasing voters"
A young man never feels so much in
clined to contribute literally to the cause
of religion as when he accompanies his
Girl to church for the first time, and
finds, when the contribution box is
showed under his nose, he has nothing
ess than half dollar in his pocket.
In Maine man got Too much Of the
ardent aboard; his friends, thinking to
frighten him upon his recovery, placed
him in q coffin to sleep off the effects
Of his debauch. When he awoke and
perceived the funeral receptacle he
sprang out in haste, exclaiming.
"Glory to God ! Resurrection day, and
I'm the first man up
IL