The Red Cloud chief., 1878-01-03
HCNOROCA

HUMOROUS.
-Sambo. what Am your opinion OF
ratsy- Why. tink the o dat had
de shortest tail will get in de hole de
quickest
A Sabbath school scholar wss askei
what Adam lost when he fell. and re-
piled: Il suppose he lost hts bal
lance.
The Turkish braid" is the lAies, nov.
city in hair dressing. but the Russian
girls SAY you can't plait on them.
The size Of Paris bonnets Is CROWN
less, but the signs Of husbands grow
larger al the price.
Mrs. Shoddy puckered up her mouth
g~erteelly and told u gentleman that one
Of her lovely daughters Was a -bunet."
and the other = -o.onze."
A witness on the stand. In reply To a
question - to what the character Of Mr..
- was for truth and veraciiy. said
We'll l should say that be handles
the truth pretty cArelessly.-
Eyes. my child. your French teacher
Il hight in saying that stove Is Of the
masculine gender. You know it is a
he-ter.' Wei. yes mother. but it Is shee-
tiron."
my brains are on fire." exclaimed
an excited lady to her husband We'll
my dear" said he unfeelingly. taking a
revolver from adrswer. lust hold still
. minute AID I'll blow them out"
At . Sunday-school. a teacher asked
q little boy IL hs knew what the expires
sion lowing tares" meant. -Courth
do" said he. pulling q part Of his trous-
ers around In front; there is a tare my
mother sewed up; l tared it sliding
down hill"
mo. George" she said in response to
his question, 1T il not true that q string
of new belt buckles in a shop window
would make any woman lose a train
but" she said musingly. sometimes
! she may have to run a little"
silence in the court" thundered a
Kentucky Judge. the other morning
Half a dozen men have been convicted
already, without the Court having
heard a word of the testimony"
There is no rule without an excep.
ton. my son." oh! isn't there. pa? A
man must always be present when he
is being shaved" MY dear" said pa tc
ma. hadn't you better send this child to
bed?"
Young wife. my dear. don't b,
~eternally finding fault with the fashion,
If you don't like the style Of my hair
don't dress yours that way. that's all. II
l was to follow your example l should
have to wear my heir bald.headed.'
Husband colapses.
Children" said a gentleman visitor
in closing his address to an Ohio school
the other day. Il trust you will all ap-
preciate education and cherish and love
your excellent teacher. as / do" Tab
leau with red fire furnished by the pref
ty s~chOOlma'am.
An elderly lady, much interested in
the progress Of events in the east having
hitherto been unable to assign a cause
for the Russo Turkish war, was heard
to exclaim triumphantly. on seeing a
telegram headed From Sophia" "Ah.
l knew there must he a woman at the
bottom Of it."
A Harvard student was called to nc.
count for having publicly styled the
Professor of Hebrew d first class mule
He admitted having made the remark.
but said he intended it As a compliment
Explain yourself" said the professor.
"Why, a first-class mule is necessa
rily a good He-brayist."
A passenger train or an Irish railway
a few days since over An intoxicat-
ed fellow on the track. He WAS 80 in
sensible to the magnitude of his
misfortune as to remark to the guard
as he looked at his own ~lacerated limb
"Arrah. now. this is too bad didn't
mean to stop the train"
A lawyer went lintO a BARRIERS shop
to get a wig. In taking the dimen'
siOns of the lawyers head the barber
exclaimed. "Why, how long your head IL
SIR" Yes" replied the legal gentle.
man, we lawyers must have long heads.
The barber proceeded about his vOca-
ton. but at length exclaimed. "Why, sir,
your head is as thick a. it is long"
A clerical friend urged Whately much
for an opinion as to his reading Of the
church services. and he said at last
well. then, if you really wish to know
what I think Of your reading. l should
say there are only two parts Of the ser.
vice you read we'll, and these you read
faultlessly." Which are they ? "Thev
are Here endeth the 6rt lesson and
Here endeth the second lesson; for
those are the only parts which you read
In your natural voice and manner,
which are very good; the rest il all ar
tifcial."
ITEMS OF INTEREST.