The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-11-23
Brother Gardeners Lime-Kiln Club.

A letter from Hannah Jones Twist,
of Fairfax, Va, stated that her husband
had been missing for twenty-three years
past, and she had lately learned that
he had been seen in Detroit. If any
member of the Lime-Kiln Club knew
him, she hoped that her husband might
be persuaded to return to his dear wife
and anxious little ones.
"Been gone twenty-three years-anx-
ious little ones-yumn' muttered
Brother Gardner. ''De Secretary kin
reply dat we doan' know de man, an
dat we are not engaged in de pur-
suadin' business"
Treadway Cochin, of Lowell, Mass,
wrote that he was an honest, sober,
Woodworking colored man and wanted
to come West and engage in the manu-
facture of new brand of chewing gum.
Every jaw in the hall began working
as the President rose up to say:
Il doan' know what sort of a market
dis yere am for gum, but RAIDER sus-
pect de supply am ekal to de deman'.
De Secretary will write in answer dat
dis club declines to take emmy RESPONSE
bility in de matter. Dey doesn't agree
to even chew de gum if it am presented
free of cost"
Isn't capital to be encouraged to
locate in Detroit?' anXiously inquired
Waydown Bebee.
Am manufacturers to be turned
from our doahs in dat cole-hearted
manner?h remarked Samuel Shin from
behind the WoOd-boX.
Gem len, it will be time TO work
yer jaws when you git de quid tween
yer teef," blandly replied the Presi-
dent, and several jaws at once ceased
working.
At this juncture the janitor announced
the presence in the ante-roOm of. I'M
proved Slayton, Esq, of Columbus,
Ohio, who had arrived in the city I'M
eXpectedly, and who desired to make
a few remarks for the benefit of the
club. He was brought in, formally in
troduced, and turned out to be an
orator with a strong affection for calico
shirt-collars and green neck-ties.
"Gem'len, " he began, as he extended
his arms and arched his back, "de fol-
lowin' speech will be impromptew,
readin' up on grammar an de spelliu'-
book. l feels proud to address dis
club, whose purceedins am character
| lied by filosophy, chicanery, poetry,
grace, surplus and multiplicashun
Oar is sunthin' about dis club which
minds me of Christopher Columbus an
de fust-class manner in which he dis
covered America. When | read de re-
marks of your President am minded
dat in de year 1929 dar was but free
miles of railroad in dis hull kentry
When | read de names of de many who
petishun for membership l allus think
of Niagara Falls, which, you all know,
am composed of Ian an water. see
each week de name of Pensteck, Bebee,
Shin, Toots, johnson, an so on, an T
go to bed to dream dat Henry Clay has
returned to life an am ashamed of his
speeches. But to return to de main
queshun; Eff de objeck of de moon am
to light de night, why not have moon
all de time? An anodder thing, why
do we all want to be richP | pass from
dat to remark dat no man knows how
to appreciate sickness until he has had
good health. OATS about all, jess now.
Some odder time l may hev de pleas
ure of explainin' to you why Gineral
Washington was named George"
The speech produced very solemn
effect on the club. 1t was fully two
minutes before any one seemed to real
ize that the speaker had finished, and
then no remarks were INDUCED in, ex-
cept by Brother Gardner, who softly
remarked:
"Please SCUM dat triangle and let
de meetin' retroact to its homes. ~
Free Press.