The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1878-05-11
mo. q.
All Sorts.

Should You ftli To advertise,
The chances are you'll never rise.
Evening preyers-Burglars.
Cartman's slang-Hire haul.
Blessed are the peas makers.
Beautiful lie of the sear-Whale
oil.
Uneasy rests the head that has no
spring bonnet.
The motto of lovers is, "E, plural
buss, yum, yum!"
The laugh of the farmer-hoe hoe,
hoe--Also, hay +. hay hay!
Food for repentance-M ince pie
eaten late ut night.
To remove dandruff-Go to Arizo-
ma and interview the Apaches.
Slight of hand performance-Not
giving show tickets to theprinters.
A chap who won at cards the other
night trumped the last trick with
a grimace.
Rum Joke. The Centennial of the
battle of Brandywine will be cele-
brated with spirit.
A clock runs faster in cold wealth
er, and You may have noticed the
same thing of your nose.
An itch for office does not always
lead to niche in the temple of fame.
This is humorous q remark.
Isn't it singular, but true, that
Strengthened circumstances do not
tend to make man walk erectg
1t is well enough to give the devil
his dues, but be careful that he
doesn't claim your own soul as part
payment.
The Englith papers call the steam
whistle the american DEVIL We
know better. He is the youth that
asks for copy.
1t is to be hoped that the un-
initiated do not think that the.
quoins used by printers are made of
gold or silver-they are only wood.
Congress has a cemetery of its
own, and, having far more criminals
than corpses, it is strange it doesn't
have penetentiary of its own, also.
Enough says the philosopher,
lis little more than man has,"
but economy is the problem of max
ing what man has suffice for his
necessities.
He who is wise now buyeth his
girls little brother something nice,
and so geteth the little rascal to make
himself scarce whenever necessary
hereafter.
Let's chip in and raise hundred
dollars for the Boston physician
who says that it is unhealthy to rise
before the sun has dIspeiled the
morning togs.
Somebody inquiring at the Spring
field, H., post-Office for letter for
Mike Howe, received the gruff an
swer that there was no letter there
for anybody's COW.
The obituary notice of a much re-
spected lady concludes with-"In
her life she was a pattern worthy to
be followed; and her death-oh, how
consoling to her friends"
An English donkey mot man,
but real Donkey had fight with
n ram. The donkey killed the ram.
This shows that the '.finis" of a DON
key is more powerful than the''pref-
ace of a RAM.
A man on Marlboro street didn't
go home the other night, and when
he made his appearance about break
fast time his wife said that he must
have slept in a cemetery because he
smelt of spirits.
1t is when a man is carrying u
pound of honey on one arm, and a
bag of eggs on the other, and lead
ing bull dog by a string, aud at
tempts to brush fly off his ear,
that he feels no man can be an ex-
pert ut all things.
The happiest moments in a wo-
mans life are when she is making
her wedding garments; the saddest,
when her husband comes home late
at night and yells to her from the
front steps to throw him out some
key holes, assorted sizes.
During the reign Of the crinoline
the following toast was drunk with
"'rhe Press, the Pulpit
aud the Pctticoat--tbe three ruling
powers of the day; the first spreads
knowledge, the second spreads NOR
ais, and the last spreads coIisidera-
bly,"
Recently the local paper at Grass
Valley said: .'fhe preitiest girl in