The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-04-04
A Young Mothers Experience.
ONE OF THE PRETTIEsT THINGS EVER
WRITTEN.

Florence Msrryatt, in her novel now
running through the English press, MY
Own Child" gives the experience of
sixteen year-old widow, whose husband
has just died and whose infant was about
to be born. She says
As is customary with young mothers, |
oftener feared that | should die in my
coming trial than live to See my child
grow up and flourish. Any happiness l
might experience in the prospect of it
only came Ivy fits and starts. 1t seemed
too terrible an ordeal to survive, and my
fears were ar times overwhelming. |
brooded over it day after day till my de-
preston was almost habitual, and haunt
ing me even in sleep would cause me to
start up three or four times night,
shrieking for help, and trembling from
head to foot with horror which | could
only feel and not interpret. Had | had
any one on whom to lean in this extrem-
ity should have borne myself perhaps
with greater dignity and trust; but more
than ever did l now feel myself to be
alone. Had Hugh's dear joyous voice
been able to whisper assurance to me,
should have believed and rested on his
word. Had possessed mother to take
me in her arms, and tell me that the JOY
of the possession of myself outweighed all
her pain, might have taken heart from
her example and learned to put my con-
fidence in heaven; but | had no one to
speak 10 on the subject but such as were
less wise than myself. Aunt Tessie con-
sidered II excessively improper that any
one should allude to such thing as a
baby until it had been dressed in Chris
tian attire aud laid in bassinette; aud
Jane, with the horror of the uneducated
of physical pain, and the wonderful Ca
pacity they have for dilating on the ter
rors of situation, so augmented my
vague fea,s whenever | mentioned the
matter to her, that my own sense, small
as IL was, poIuted out the advisaOlllty OF
keeping my thoughts to myself SO
dragged out the weary days alone, and
spring drew nearer and nearer; and if
ever prayed, it was not for protection and
safety and a happy future with my child
but that might die before it ever saw
the light. | was so frightened
1t was the dawn of one of the earliest
weak and exhausted that felt as if were
sinking through the mattresses and the
floor, right, right away into intnity.
Everything about me seemed lar off, as
though | were in a dream. The voices
of the persons who moved about my
room seemed far Off as if | heard through
a fog; and yet | could distinguish each
word they said, and watch, in a kind of
an indist net and hazy manner, the gray
dawn thst struggled through the white
window blinds and fought with the
sickly light OF the candle which DR.. Car
isle seemed To be carrying all over the
room in the most aimless way. | could
trace the unusual disorder Of the apartment
and could zee that the faces which had
been so lnxiously peetlng into mine for
the last twelve hours had settled
down into something like their usual
normal expression again. knew, too,
that my trial was over, and that | had
passed through the gates OF hell into the
calm of heaven; but | was too languid to
think of an ything else. felt as if my
weakened senses were gradually fading
away into Inconsistencies, and all | de-
sired was to be allowed so to fade away,
and never be troubled with pain or pleas
ure or any emotion any more. Even a
loud and energetic squall from the other
end of the room did not arouse me.
"a fine child" said the doctor.
Every fine, SIR" responded the nurse
who had been torturing me for twenty
four hours past with wise saws, question
able Jokes aud worrying attentions, IN
til had begun TO regard her as an ennis
ary of the fiend himself. ~ don't know