Litchfield enquirer., 1878-10-17

"Vat is your nameT inquired a German
 salesman of acustomer. 'sMy name is Cox,'' | replied the gentleman. 'sVell, how vas dot name shbelled ?" asked the salesman. ''Why, Cox, said the customer. ''Oh yah, I see, |" said our friend, as he wrote down C-o-"But won't you please 'del me how you sphen dot 1 We like to sit and listen to church org n In fact, we generally become so interested in l the performance of the organist and so anx- ious about the health of the blow-boy, that we generally overlook the little cross-eyed man who peddles pennies around the congregation on little silver plate with velvet bottom, so people can't hear how many you take off. When John Reeve was playing Bom5astes FusTaso at Bristol, England, upon being stabbed by ArtGromiaus he denied the fairness of the thrust, and, appealing to the pit, said, '1t is not fair, is 1t % A bald-headed gentleman, who probably took the whole representation to be serious, and to whom Reeve directed his glance, rose and said timidly, ''Really, sir, cannot say. do not fence myself"
 There is nothing like making yourself under stood The other evening western gentle man was aceosted by two practising commun- ists, who intmated that they would trouble him for his watch. Heat once explained that AC SdiILCO uAc WdtCA HI HtS ulp-pOCkcJs b1dG It was stem-winder, full-barrelled, and that there would be ''trouble all round" if he was obliged to pull It out. The communists re- 'qnested him to pass onehis way and to keep their share of the watch till they asked for it again.
 One of the speakers at the recent meeting of the British association is reported to have said: ~That animals may possess the moral sense in rudimentary form was illustrated by strik- ing anecdote of a Skye-terrier, who having stolen a outlet off the table and kept it in his possession for a few minutes, was ifhpelled by pure remorse to bring 1t back uneaten That does look like conscience; but lady, hearing the anecdote, quietely asked: sTMight it not be that outlet had too much pepper on it ?''
 The Duke of Grammont entered one day in- tothe closet of the Cardinal Mazarin without being announced His Eminence was anus ing himself by jumping against the wall. To surprise prime minister in so boyish an occu- patton was dangerous. A less skilfnl eourtier might have stammered excuses and retired. But the duke entered briskly and cried ''Ill bet you hundred crowns that jump higher than your Eminence," And the duke and the cardinal began to jump for their lives. Cram mont took care to jump few inches lower than the cardinal, and six months afterward was Marshal of France.
 At the grand court dinner in Brussels in hon. or of the silver wedding of the King of the Belgiansth representatives of the press had to sit in the gallery and see the guests eat Such breach of etiquette is disgrace to the civilization of the nineteenth century, and we are extremely glad now that, instead of &C., knowledging our elaborate-engraved invitation to that dinner by forwarding the king and his spouse a silver teapot, we saved our money and invested it in a wood-saw for GOT wife. When our silver wedding is celebrated, the newspaper men shall sit up at the first table, and the crowned and other big heads of Flu rope shall not even enjoy the satisfaction of looking on.
 '.Is there letter here for me?" asked an. ancient female of a postof1ce employee. h. quiring her name, the obliging clerk answered: ''Yes, ma'am nine cents postage due on it, too" ssYes, sir. Would you be so good as te read it for me ?" The obligng clerk opened the billet, which proved to be eleven pages of foolscap, and after patiently wading through it the old lady drew long breath, and re- marked, "All right, young man, I don't believe 1 will take it." walked out, leaving the aston- ished clerk with the voluminous document and nine cents postage bill on his lilywhite hands.
 When. some years ago, Anson fBurlingame and Cassius M. Clay were stumping in the West, they returned to their hotel after particularly warm welcome one night, and were talking affairs oyer. Suddenly strains of music were heard outside "They are serena make 'em speech" Barlingame stepped to to the window, opened it, and began: "Fel1ow- citizens hardly know how to thank you for this touching proof of your esteem and regard Mr. Clay and myself are indeed grate-" Just at this point voice in the crowd below was heard. saying: "BoYs, that aint the gal in red Let's dust ]"
 Actresses devise most ingenious plans to se- cure free advertising. You never read of an authoress falling down and breaking her nose, or burying pet dog with grave ceremonies, or carrying horse shoe in her pocket in mem ory of favorite horse, or being run over by an omnibus, or travelling with four cats, two dogs monkey and parrot, or narrowly escaping death by drowning, or having ten thousand dollars worth of diamonds stolen every six months or so-you never hear of an authoress, we say, resorting to any of these dodges in or der to call attention to a forthcoming book P.