The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1878-10-17
Jones and the Barber.

Ahi I'm in luck" said Jones, as he
entered the barber shop and found the
barber reading the paper {" won't have
to wait for my next and he tossed his
hat in the corner, and seated himself for
a shave. -.- r.r.
"How is this,'' said the barber, read
ing from paper that marks its witty
column with blue pencil SHY George,
how's this; pretty good take it, and
he read
"'Did you ever see a pump handle
any thing? Did you ever see a witty
cism? Who ever saw dog call her?' ="
and the good barber laughed heartily at
these scintillations of wit, and said that
some of those fellows are most blamed
clever.
Then he turned to the yellow fever
department, and, after reading three or
four dispatches, asked Jones if he
thought the scOurge would reach Oil
City. ..v go Ai-.- "..
Jones said there was a possibility it
would get hereby the middle of the win
ter, and he would like to be shaved and
fixed up before it arrived. %, 81 .f
yawned, laid down the paper, and shut
fled up to the chair. He arranged the
towels about JOneS's neck, felt of his
beard, run his fingers through his hair,
scrutinized wart on the side of his
nose, turned his lower lip down over his
chin, and asked him if he had his tooth
fixed in the Oil Regions or in New York.
Jones answered as hest he could, con
sidering that the barber stillkept his lip
hauled down taut.
After examining the dental work on
the tooth, which he unhesitatingly pro-.
nounced I" a good job" the barber let
go of Jones's lip, and went out to throw
stone at a dog that was barking at q
cat in the back yard. 1-cI 30 a31.a o..
When he came back, Jones said he
would like to be shaved as quickly as
possible, as he was iii somewhat of a
hurry. l..
Certainly, certainly" said the bar
Der, aud he spread the father over
Jones's face, and began to hunt for a
razor After examining several, he be.
gan to slap the strap with one, while he
remarked that fall had probably set in
in ERNEST, and that the baseball fever
was about as bad as ever, etc. Giving
the razor one pull down over the side of
Jones's face, he wiped off the blade,
laid it down, took up another, exam
ined its edge, and whipped the strap
with it as before, asking Jones if he
thought business was really picking up,I
any, and if he thought it would rain.
Jones moved uneasily on the stocks,
and said he was sure there would be al
storm, and he wanted to get shaved and |
have his mustache waxed before the
food came. "'l!oir 90" .H
The barber grew pale around the
mouth, and his lip quivered. g You
said that once before" he remarked,
CURLY. "DoR't say it again, please, or
5here'n be trouble. I'm a gentleman,
when dealing with a gentleman, but | /
know when I'm Instituted, sir.'' --.'
"Well, ,confound it ALL said Jones, i
very muchl out Of patience. 81 came
here to get shaved, and not to be talked
n death ~ Tf.ti lflG 01
go, YOU wantto be shaved, do you?"
the barber, in a rage; "you
ion't want to be talked to death, don't
you? A barber can't open. his mouth,
amt he? o, no, barber is a dOggoned
machine, / suppose, and must move
lbout his work like a wooden Injun in
ront of a cigar store. All right, all right!
-ou shall be shaved and have your mus
ache waxed so blamed fast it'll make
our head ,swim!" .~s-+ '.s.....,..-..
And, buckling down to his work, he
haved Jones in two minutes and half
" the watch, and cut him II times by K
ctual count
Moral-Let barber talk. It is cheap
r than to be kept away from business
or two or three days while you stop
leeding.-OI City Derrick.