American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1878-07-27
WIT AND WISDOM.

A FELoN on the hand is wOrse than
ten in the Penitentiary.
CoNrENrMENr Is better than money.
and just about as scarce. ff f.s1n
"WILL you love me when I moldf'
as the loaf of bread said to the house.
keeper. @
SPIDERS ought to be good correspond
ents; they certainly drop line by every
post.
WHEN you strike oil, stop boring.
Many a man has bored clean through
and let the oil run out at the bottom.
NETT in point of meanness to doing
an injury Is to do man a favor and ev-
ery now and then remind him of it.. r1si
AS they passed a gentleman whose
optics were terribly on the bias, little
Dot murmured: IS Ma, he's got one eye
that don't CO., 5-5,.5.s.s...'
( A BOLD fight against misfortune will
often enable man to tide over tight
place and put ruin to flight. You can
make ruin run any time by knocking its
out. s
PROBABLY the Springfield (Mass.>
Republican, couldn't have made q remark
by which more of its readers would have
felt complimented than that g It is .
mark of genius to perspire freely It
was very timely.
THREE green peaches, slice OF wa
termelon, an ear of corn, and pint OF
ice-water taken inwardfy an hour or 50 /,
before retiring, will produce hrst-class
casus belA. So we've been told. ,s,
Mosr any young man can afford 70
wear cane. It is an economical gar
ment; no buttons flying of, no seams
ripping, no rents occurring, nor holes I
wearing though. Long live the invent
or of the cane. - -
THE discriminating biologist of the
Oil City DerrEcs notes the fact OF q wo-
man killing a bear, but it challenges
sstile world to ransack the pages OF his j
tory and show where woman has ever
got away with a niouse."
YoNkERs had Fourth of July ora
tor, who said: ''And while the heart'of
the nation continues to throb, while the
hollyhock Of liberty dissimulates its
fragrance over the aria of our domain,
while the gratitude of the free born tons
of soil-I mean sons of toil-recalis the
heroism of those who bought and He'd
excuse me, 1 should have said fought
and bled-for us, so long will we cher
ish the noble heresy beqneathed to
us by our patriotic posterity. 7 So
xrSa LEAR pEFYING THE STORM.
Blow winds and crack your cheeksl ragei
Blow your bazoo till you can't resti
You cataracts, and hurricanes, spout cfs /
TIL you have drenched our steeples
And made the weather-cocks pray 10 tho
So gods .Hi- 4A-
To send them life preservers or web feeti
You sulphurous and thought-executing hres'
yaunt- couriers to oak-cleaving thunder
bolts,
SINCE my white headi It's nothing but wig
Anyho,.. and cost only two dollars anu my
And thon. all shaking thunder.
strike fiat the thick rotuadity OF the worio'
R-r-rumble thy belly-fuli
Spit fire! spout, raini yea, spout
Like q country school-master
At a Fourth of July celebrationi -
Nor rain, wind, thunder or fire are my daugn-
tiers; -
tax not Won. YOU elements, wish unkindness,
never gave you kingdom. grand piano.
All the pin money you wanted, hne csotness
Nor permitted you to firt with every drum
f.ey
That came to town; you owe me no subscrtp-
lions;
Tbep why let fall your horrible pleasure?
Here stand, your slave,
!. moor. infirm, weak and despised old man
And vet 1 call you serviie ministers
That have with two pernicious daugnters
joined
Your high engendered battles 'gainst q neau
SO old and white as this isl
,Gatpst an old man, subject to rheumasismr
who has been caught out in his best suit
without an umbrellaf
Oh OF tits FOUL