Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1878-03-20

1 ~ ef4 fsf x al
Never take : bull bi the horns w.,
man, but take him bi the tale: thesr S
kan let 60 when you want to.-JoM bs
ings.
In reply to the question, evil d
coming man be bald :" the Norr;s,olae
Herald affirms that che generaIlv !;
when he first comes"
Tell your mistress that I've torn ),
curtain" said a lodger to a female A. e
nestle. "Very well, sir: mistress s r
put it down in the bill as extra rent y ''A
An old maid in the West End lbs,
favorite cat by death, and she had IL
skin stuffed tor a pillow-a new v,r;
ETY. Of caserpiIlar.-Cincinnat Suurdo,
Night.
First girl: Did you have pleasar,
ride? Second girl: O! middling. Fin,
girl: What was the trouble? Did WIN
act cross? Second girl, behind her fan.
No, but he hadn't shaved.
A certain little damsel, being apc,.
waited beyond endurance by her bio
brother, fell down upon her knees, and
cried: 80, Lord! bless my brother
Tom. He lies, he steals, he swear
All boys do; us girls don't. Amen"
Every day or two the telegraph an.
nounces that somebody has discovers
a new asteroid. Which indicates cara.
lessness in not sprinkling ashes on the
sidewalk. Berkshire Co urier.
A lazy boy, near Stanwix, has con.
quered the kindling-wood question. H.
just backs his fathers best mule agaipst
the woodpile, and throws the milking
stool at it.-Rome Sentinel
When they get telephones in thu
hotels it will refresh the weary traveer
who is sent up the fourth floor to ST
down quietly and impart to the clerk
down in the Office his private opinion
of that frnctionary's conduct.
When Mr.. Baker took to wife
buxom little dear,
He fenced her in with both his arms
And whispered in her ear:
Now. do promise thee. my love,
Ne'er from thy side to 60;
For like all bakers. little one.
daily need my doe
-Yonkers Gazette
We never realized how awkward
how needlessly stupid, how excessively
and deplorably faulty nature is, 50
strongly as when we reflect on the pain
full fact that she never has been able to
create man that will fit a custom
made snirt.--HaWkeye.
"Sir," said one barrister to another
3" l often meet a servant in the morning
taking two drinks to your room. Do
you always drink in duplicate p "Sr,
replied the other, l order two drinks
every morning, and when have drank
one l feel like another man; then. sir, |
am bound by courtesy to treat the other
man, so drink the second"
A very little boy had one day done
wrong, and he was sent, after maternal
correction, to ask in secret the forgive
ness of his Heavenly Father. His Of
Tense was passion. Anxious to hear
what he would say. his mother followd
to the door Of the room. In lispingG
cents she heard him ask to be mae
better; and then, with childlike Gin.
plicity, he added: Lord, make ms
temper better, too"
Old Lord Elpinstone was asleqa
church, while the minister, q very adit
headed preacher, was holding foA
At length the parson stopped and cna
Waukin, my Lord Aphinstone?" "Tn
no sleeping, minister" But We are
sleepin-I wager We dinna ken what
said last?" aye said, Waukin, my
Lord Aphinstonc" LAY, ay, but
wager We dinna ken what l said afor
that " / wager We Gnna yersel."
The art ofadvertising is being brought
down to decidedly fine point: and
when an agent sends you an inch ad
vertisement to insert at your very low
est rates, and accompanies it with SIX
inch local notice, which he wants put
in for nothing, you can't help but ad-
mire his acreage of cheek" and wish
you had a gun that would shoot hun
dred miles and kill the fellow you are
thinking of, without taking aim.-No'
ristO,rn Herald.