The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1878-07-26
For the Times.
nIsAPPINTED CANDYDATE--souR GRAPHS,
ETCEcRER.
PUSKINvILL, July forth

kline FREN AN EDITUR IL warnt scken no
offs nor popularity when writ on polyticks an
drawed up my resolution, but then bay sort
blasted ambishun sensation, like rs il haint
4 been treated rite. lowed my writp wud give
me q kline OF literary notiryety, eft nuthin else,
but / hav been lisnin about gatherins an mectns
too see if couldn't heer snmbOdy speakin OF
what crate writer an corryspoudcr Stump
Punkin was, nint heared but ono opinyuu
expressed, an that, too, by one blasted disapin-
ted CANDY ydate, an he Sod he beeved Stump l..
was burned fool. Now mister Editur, this is
| the thanks an the popularity men of sense who
wud save thar kuntry gifts fur thar trubble.-
But feel happy, KNOWN that my kuntry wus
safe, cvin eff the convention adopted reserlu-
tions not quite rs good as mine. Il am afeared
tho that my style of writin is too deep an pinted
| an requires more edicatiou an resarch, pertcal-
ly Enthusiastically, then the mayjerity of MY
more unfawtunate feller citizens is suhjeck too.
| Iknow it wudn't do cnny good fur me too be
| tryin too git poplar now, fur | seed frum the
! Inc. papSr ihat haint no chance fur no oflis,
| sins the convention met, but don't keer a ddhi
| to riprcsent pcpul who amt got sense cnuf 10
vote fur thar best men. Now kline frind don't
| want yu to think that I'm mad at yu, kaso wi
| didn't call special tention too my wrtia in yore
| editorics, mad at my filler citerzens fur not
kckin up big hurrah over me but sum how
| or another, | am in bad 'umor about sum-
| thin but tell yu agin l worn n seekin no
offs, an III jist say this, eff thay oil had nom
ynated me loo went 10 the big convention L
| would had better opinyun of the Judgement of
fthe pepul, an CRATER expectations fur the flu
tur prosperity of our State. l think now that
| it wud be better to change this erlcction biz
| ness round anuthcr way next time. i shall go
| in mex erlection fur to keep all the smart men,
sich as myself, at home, jist fur voting puposes.
l think it mo- impowtcnt, friend Editor, that sich
| men rs me an you an Guvnor Hampton to be ut
| the ballot box than too be in offs. Why, kline
fren, ef sich as us three kumposed the vo,in
| poplation of this State, it wudn't matter sent
| who wus jedgc, jury Legislator, or gunner, or
jdiier. Don't yu sec the pint? Votin orter be
made as honerabul and as highristocratical as
| holden offs, rn then ever6ody wud be 'seekin to
| kquollify themselves fur the bizness.
| Thar is sumthiR about this here erlection biz
nisa that is nifty funny an strange to me. Now
| ererybody goes too the ballot box an votes fur
who he pleases, an generly, arter the ERECTION,
everybody is q grumblin, kase they think them
| what is crected aint fit 10 fill the oflises IN n
mans best trends endurin the erlectiou turns
out ginoraly TO be his wust enemies artcr he gifts
into offs. Thar's pore Hays fur instance. every
body is agin him. and lie an all the pepu', nn
| the lawyers, an the supreme Coat, an Kongriss,
| oil put together, an the constitution, cant tell
wcthur he is president or not, nor wether
this CRATE republick has got emmy president or
! not. Now aint us an the constiushun an tho
guvmeut an pore Hays, in most redicklous
prominence, in the eyes of our ilustrus poster
| ity, etcctrer?
Now, kline Advisur, it seems to me that arler
pepul crlects man too offs tharselvcs, they had
ort too be satisfied, fur who is too blame eff he
| amt fit. Ef am foole enuf too 60 into the
| woods an git pine sassafax wood to mako
| waggin hubs outen, an find out drtcr haze made
EN-, that the wood don't do wuth cent, fur the
| dismiss, who orter be cussed fur being foolc
and not fit fur the bisness. me er tho pine or the
| sassafaX? Kline fren answer that in yorc mex.
will leave the subjick Of pollyticks for
short time an pass to fuc scattrin remarks on
suu,thin else ais,whle Am doing that will
| call yore attention too sum of yore mistakes on
sich like. Now thar is sum thing yu ort not
too do. l motifs that yu ar continnerly cuttin up
at the city of Spottenbug, kasc she Prevailed
on Union to help her xtend that ralc rode
| Mister Editur, yu orten-tu think hard of the
| Sparkinboogers fur harin n sort o contempt fur
| Union folk, kase yu know cfy yu pervail OH emmy
| individual to do sumthin agin his own intrust
| fur yore benefit, and no matter how much good
it may do yu, yu will alters think he is d,nyed
| fule, etcetcrer. Now, kline fren, take my cdvice,
an don't let nobody git the advantage of yu.
Now 1 will say few words about myself be-
fore closin, fur fear that have not sed enuff OH
that intresting ubject. Sum foax may think
| aint much an aint entitled TO ofis-no noiis-
l know in this deliteful world u man aint con-
sidered much Of he don't blow his own horn loud
| snuf too be heared afur off, tharfore will do
so. Sum pepul brag mitely about what they
have dun, but think / have dun sum bully
| Iur instance, St0rteu out In life
| with nuthin (axident frum the result of sum war
or nuther I reckin) an I am now sumthin under
ten thousan dollars in debt, an an by my own
pussonal cxursions, an nobody can't git droted
red outen me nutber. Now who kin beat that
an 30 forth? But am lengthnng too long.
Yourn alters.
SUMP PUNKINS.
p. s. Hows craps?
i p. 8. agin.s Now L m nifty afeard-tho' don't
y kaGS Snapl nta0att II no how.-that yu an menny
Or my ffi6strus felltr citrzens win cum too the
opinyun that L m mad about sumthin Yu will
think that wantid offs in spite Of everything
l have sed but will jist say this much, that /
don't think it wood give me the struts very bad
too okkipy sch Offices once lately filled by
sich rs Cardozeer, June Moblcy, Gleeves, Smnlls,
Hoge, Jedge Wright, a. SIS. Wallace etceterer,
on which the stink, etceterer, amt bin washed
out Of yit, hardly. Now, if emmy boldly is
mad, let em take that. ain't q seekin no offs,
and eff ennybody says am arter offs he is n
nuthcr one, etcetcrer. Friend Editur did think
| would quit without p. s. this time, but 1
must say sumthin else bust-iho amt dis
pinted about nuthin-fur this erlection dismiss
is devil Of thing much so that I can't
stand it.. That's jis how il is Now i jist don't
keer a drot eff wusn't nommynated, an I'll toll
yu why case, twixt us, man, y,l knop, these
days is jest nomm ypated case he is what they
call a udieabie, no& 5ekase he is fit fur the offs,
yu know, but jist kase pepul n ginral thinao
an rs mayjority, haint sense enuf TO appre-