The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1878-04-13
WITTICISMS.

|
A VERY little word will sometimes
cause big fight.
Why is a setting hen rarity? Be-
cause it's on nest.
WHY does beating an egg resemble a
revolution? 1t breaks the y(o)lk.
HE but waters his soup who takes
many words to tell short story.
SONG of ladies making their toilet
"Combing-yes, we're combing!"
A MAN at church fair the other night
cried out, Pve got the oyster. Gimme
the prize"
Docs are very faithful; they will stick
to bone when everybody else has de-
serted it.
DON'T emigrate to Georgia if you are
unhappily married. 1t takes eighteen
months to get a divorce down there.
FLIES toll not, neither do they spin,
yet they have the first taste of all the
best gravies in the land.
THE season for fine sunsets is not yet
arrived, but we noticed some very fine
onion sets in market.-OI City Derrick.
The schoolboys in California when
asked, " How is the earth divided" an
swer, "By earthquakes"
THE divorce market must be still easy
in Indiana. A country paper in that
state heads its list of marriages =" Limited
Partnerships"
THE donkey is an emblem of patience,
but if you study him closer, you will
find that laziness is what is the matter
with him.
THE photograph is like the small
brother of a young lady. 1t will repeat
everything said in its presence without
regard to bushes.
A MAN from Floyd visited our sane
tum yesterday who was SO thin that he
could turn a double back somersault in
gum barrel Utica Observer.
"IN selecting husband" said Mrs.
Puffer, above all things choose man
of cultivation" This remark narrowed
the girl to such an extent that she went
off and married farmer.
If the breath exhausted in a two
hours speech on the tariff was compress
ed it would pump out forty-one gallons
of water from a we'll twenty-nine feet
deep.-Detroit Free Press.
Mr. LARKIN TURNER, of Merriwether
county, Georgia, took his first dose of
medicine when he was 100 years old.
Fatal step! He only ten years after
that-Norristoavn Herald
"YoU must pay me five millards of
francs" says Russia to Turkey. "Most
willingly" replies Turkey, "only lend
me ten francs now and add it to the
amount"
A DUBUQUE chemist says he can
make milk "by emulsifying fatty mat
tiers with artificial serum" Milkmen in
the business do it much more expedi-
ciously with chalk and water.
=" EXTREMES meet" in a Salt Lake
high Official who has just married a
mother of so and her daughter of Is.
By the way, what relation are mother
and child now?
A MINISTER did wedding ceremony
cup brown" the other day when he
married Mr.. David l.. Brown, brown
haired youth, clothed in brown suiting, to
Miss Minnie Brown, brown-eyed
maiden, likewise dressed i'll brown.
HORNETS have more fight in them than
anything of their size, but there is no
method in their madness; they will
pitch into meeting house when they are
furious just as anxiously as they will
into sleeping baby in its cradle.
RANDE the Illinois murderer, is as
signed to the horse-collar department in
the state prison at Joliet Mistake. In
the eternal fitness of things it ought to
have been the halter department.-Ne,
York Mail
The Elmira AdUertiser admires ladies
because they can sit bolt upright in
church, looking straight at the minister
through two-hour sermon, and not
move bit; whereas no man could do it
outside of a baseball ground.
AN exchange has this startling piece
of intelligence: Nothing will be worn
this spring by the fair sex, except longi-
tudinal striped hose" We presume this
attractive though somewhat picturesque
costume will not become the rage until
the warm weather sets in.
i DENTIST Ito old lady about purchasing
some false teetb): ''tor mastication,
my dear madam, they can only be sur
passed by nature herself" Old lady
go laws, doctor, | don't care nothing
about the mastication, if can only chaW
with 'em. "-Boston Post.
/ "OH. tell me- gently seraph.
| With those ruddy lips OF thine
Tell me fondly, tell me often.
| That you're NINE, forever minen
J Then she cope cape and nodded,
| linen another cape was born
4 And her very silence answered,
81 am yawn, forever yawn'
pdrn-keT's Gazette
A New YORK clergyman anxiousIv
inquiries: Will heaven be crowded?'
| Considering the fact that the person who
is morally sure of going there has soul
only about the size of warped bean,
there is likely to be room for a large
number of liberal minded PERSONS
Fulton Times.
10. Cook is inspired. There is no
doubt of it. Listen to how he flung
himself in his Monday lecture in Boston:
1t there is any young man in this audi
ence about to be married to a Young
woman of about his own age, that future
wife is now living somewhere upon the
earth! The reconcile proposition par
takes OF the nature of prophecy. It is
not mere coincidence. 1t is real out
burst of the divine fatulence.-N Y
Graphic.