Connecticut western news., 1878-12-25
WIT AND WISDOM.

Now we say Afghanistan. In a few days it will be Afghan is tanned. There is more active fun in an ounce of kitten than in ton of elephant.
 -Is is possible for man to know his own mind and yet know very little.
 Two feet of hose is considered enough for dancing pumps Boston Transcript.
 -Asharp tongueis the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.- IrUiny.
 He who g1ves aims makes the v,ry best use of his money, unless he puts it into advertising.
 -" Hulloa, Charley Whats the mat ter? Training for race ?" "No, Tom. Racing for @ train '
 A Kentucky iailer diets his prison CTS on buckwheat. We eshould be afraid they would break out.
 The oldest inhabitant cannot re- collect time when there were more "painted women in Washington than now.
 Some people act as though they had been inoculated with stupidity, while others net as though they had it in the natural way.
 The vain man is, after all, the hap" piest. While the rest of us are trying to please others he is perfectly satisfied if he only pleases himself.
 A pretty girl down East is "mind- reader" She said to bashful beau the other night, Claw, 1 believe your going to kiss mel" She was right.
 --"This business is being carried too far," shouts the end man minstrel in his search around the stage; here, some ones stolen nay bones P
 In these days of resumption the Americans are fast becoming people noted for their charity, their generosity and their great love of their specie.
 An old hat that once belonged to Napoleon 1. was recently sold for $35, which is @ good price when we consider that both the Nap and crown are gone.
 -"Be polite, sonny" said the board CT to an impertinent youngster, "be polite, and when she offers you a cup of tea, don't you take cup and sauce 'er. /"
 If "every man is the architect of his own fortune," the most of them had better abandon architecture and go to saving wood.-Binghanepton RepubG- 1 can.
 Domestic happiness depends solely on mutual effort. If you will try to get rid of your temper your wife will proba- bly be induced to keep hers, and you will both have peace.
 -"I wonder, II acle," said little girl, eff men will ever yet live to be five hum deed or thousand years old ?" No, my child" responded the old man, "that was tried once, and the race grew so bad that the world had to be drowned"
 A Gloucester, Mass, somnambulist was awakened the other night by burn ing sensation in the palms of his hands, and found that he was grasping the hot sitting-room stove. He was dreaming that his business place was on fire, and thought he was taking down the shutters.
 An old gentlem an of S4 and his bride, aged S2, entered railway car the other day and took seat by the stove. A youth occupying the seat behind says he overheard the following Old gen. tleman to his bride-" Who's a title lamb ]" Bride" Bofe of us."
 Archie: "Auntie, what's a tor pedo ?" Auntie: Something that blows something up, my love-" Archie: "Then are you torpedo, auntie ?" Auntie "No, my dear. Why ?" Archie Because heard uncle tell ing pa you were always blowing him du."
 Venus is now at her greatest dis tance from us-one hundred and sixty millions of miles-or one hundred and thirty-fiye millions farther away than when she is nearest the earth. This may seem startling, but it is true. She al- WAYS gets as far away from us as she can as soon as Congress meets. And we don't blame her.
 Tn 1856, from the fact that one of the Whig candidates in Atlanta was butcher, the ticket was called "the butchers ticket" The Wings accepted the title, ana printed their tickets in red with big blue hog on each with the in- scription, "Go the whole hogv' and on the day of election the workers turned out in procession, marched to the polls | ..,,oo1;oo o,,d o,,,,ntinu and won the