davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-10-28


Mrs. Partington is solicitous to know
whether man who dips his can into
tank of water is -tank-erous man.
At a recent dinner of shoemakers, the
following toast was given-"May we
have all the women in the country to
shoe, and all the men to boot"
"Do you love me still 2" Mrs. Harkins
asked, as her husband was attempting to
write an important letter. "Do you love
me still p "Yes, l do" said Harkins;
and it was the emphasis that broke her
heart.
"Did you ever dabble in stocks 2"
asked lawyer of witness who was
known to have fed from his native land
to this asylum of the free. "Well, yes,
l got my foot in 'em once, in the old
country" was the reply.
The time when pious editor is ex-
cusable for knocking splinters from the
third commandment is when he jabs the
wrong end of his penholder in his ink
stand and hastily shoves it behind his
ear without wiping it off.
The postofice department has ruled
that husband has no control over the
correspondence of his wife. But this
decision will not prevent man from
carrying his wife's letters around in his
inside coat pocket three weeks before
mailing.
An lrishman accosted gentleman on
the street late at night with a request
for the time. The gentleman suspecting
that Pat wished to snatch his watch,
gave him stinging rap on the nose,
with the remark, "It has just struck one. Z"
"Be jabbers." retorted Pat, "l'm glad
didn't ask yez an hour ago p
That's very stupid brute of yours,
John," said Scottish minister to his
parishioner. the peat-dealer, who drove
his merchandise from door to door in a
small cart drawn by a donkey; 81 never
see you but the creature is braying."
"Ah, sir" said the peat-dealer, "ye ken
the hearts warm when friends meet"
A darkey was boasting to grocer Of
the cheapness of ten pounds of sugar he
had purchased at rival shop. '.Lei
me weigh the package" said the grocer.
The darkey assented, and it was found
two pounds short. The colored gentle.
man looked perplexed for moment, and
then said "Guess he didn't cheat dis
chile much. While he was gittin' d.
sugar l stole two pair OBJ Shoes"
"Yes, fellow citizens" said a wilc
western orator, with gold at par, green
backs at a premium, the tax taken Of
raw whiskey, our debts all paid. and lib
erty-dear old gal has new dress ant
the American eagle an additional arrow
and fresh olive branch, ask what i
to prevent us from being the creates
> people on earth ? pause for reply.
Just at that point mellow old egg ex
ploded right on the bridge Of his nose
and he added: "The pause will contin
> ne until can bust the stufin' out O. tn
y lop-eared leper that slung that e
Whoope let me at him."
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-10-28

At one of the Whitehall Sunday
schools teacher was instructing her
class about prophets. She finally put
the question, "Why don't we have the
prophets now ?" and asked the boy who
could answer it to hold up his hand.
A little hand Of a six year old boy quick
ly went up. "Well, my little man, why
is it we do not have prophets now ?"
Because. ma'am. my papa says that the
times are SO hard, and SO many men have
gone into selling goods, that profits are
knocked higher'n Gilderoy's kite" The
lad was Immediately presented with a
gum drop, and told to go out and play.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-10-28

The General Wool monument for
Troy, N. Y, that is being quarried in
Maine will be talIest obelisk in the
country. The stone is clear of knots
and streaks, is sixty feet by seven square
at the base in the rough, and when fin
ished will be fifty-eight feet long by six
feet square at the base.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-10-28

BAD CoLDs.-A medical authority as
serts that the severest catarrh cold can
be removed, in ten hours by a mixture
of carbolic acid ten drops, tincture of
iodine and chloroform, each seventy-fve
drops. A few drops of the mixture
should be heated over spirit lamp in
test-tube, the mouth of which should
be applied to the nostrils as volatiliza-
tion is effected. The operation should
be repeated In about two minutes, when,
after the patient sneezes a number Of
times the troublesome symptoms rapidly
diappear.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-10-28
"DEAD ON THE FIELD OF
HONOR,

The terrible news from the infected
districts comes to US with one glimpse
of cheerfulness and hope-the conduct
of the noble men, both white and black,
who have gone to nurse the sick. These
nurses who have gone out of the pure
air of their own homes to the plague
stricken towns, to handle and tenderly
care for dead and dying men who are
utter strangers to them, need a higher
courage than any soldier marching into
the thick of battle. They gain nothing
neither pay nor glory. Their victo-
ries are not watched by proud country
for whose honor they give their lives.
If they die, no weeping nation will.
year by year, hang laurels on their
graves. The Howard nurse is only
mentioned in the papers as "onc of
twenty-five" arriving on such date. or
some in twenty" who are dead. His
name nobody knows. If he falls, his
friends only learn of it because he fails
to return. There is no burst of battle
cry or martial music to cheer his soul
in its last struggle with death {; in the
future there is to be no roll-call of a
victorious army, with the proud answer
to his name, dead upon the field of
honor"
He gives his life for some poor plague
stricken wretch, probably of less value
to the world than himself. in the pois-
oned air of solitary chamber, where
there is none but God to know. He Is
buried hastily in namelesss grave,
with shuddering and fear, and quick
lime is thrown upon his body. This
sacrifice ne makes out of pure love to
God and humanity. and this sacrifice
is now making, not by one man, but by
every one of the nurses sent out by the
Howard Association. Every one of
them carries his life in his hand as he
goes. These men, too, be it remembered
are Southerners, the people whom we
regarded our enemies not long ago, and
we are very apt still to regard as i'm
practicable, idle and quarrelsome. 1t is
worth our while to consider this thing.
The newspapers lately have contained
more than the usual amount of crime
and nastiness. Neither foreign politics
nor our domestic records have been cal
culated to raise our belief in the nobili-
ty of human nature, or to suggest fresh
watchwords of cheer to to the world. 1t
is something to know that in our own
country, among the people of the State
which we have believed given over to
corruption and fraud, noble deed is
done with modesty and silence which
make it all the nobler.
We shall have to accept the truth
that we are made to differ; that while
right and wrong are Interchangeable in
their nature and character, the appre.
hension of them in their concrete and
mixed forms varies. We must differ,
but we need not quarrel, nor impugr
each others motives, nor believe the
world will speedily come to an end
whatever political policy. for time
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-10-28
TITS NOT YOUR BUsIN Ess WHY.

Would you like to know the secrets
OF your neghbor's house and life?
How he lives or how he doesn't
And just how he treats his wife?
How he spends his time or leisure,
Whether sorrowful or gay,
And where he goes for pleasure,
TO the concert or the play?
Ifyou wish it, l will tell you
Let me whisper to you sly
If your neighbor is but civil,
1t is not your business why.
In short, Instead OF prying
Into other mems affairs,
you do your own but justice.
You will have no time for theirs.
Be attentive to such matters
AS concerns yourself alone,
And whatever fortune fiatters.
Let your business be your own.
One word by way Of finis-
Let me whisper to you sly
lfyou wish to be respected.
You must cease to be pry.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-10-28

Paint your bunion-if you are un-
fortunate enough to have one-once or
twice a day with tincture of iodine and
it will reduce it. Wear ring of cotton
or felt round it to keep the shoe from
pressing upon it.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-10-28

A lecturer, addressing mechanics
institute, contended that "Art could not
improve Nature" when one of the audi
ence set the whole assembly in roar by
exclaiming: "How would you look with
out your wig ?"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-10-28

To CURE BILIOUS HEADACHE
Drink the juice of two oranges, or of
one lemon, about half an hour before
breakfast every morning.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-10-28


PRESCRIPTION FOR FITs-For fit of
passion-Walk out in the open air. You
may speak to the winds without hurting
any one, or proclaiming yourself to be a
simpleton.
For fit of Idleness-Count the tick
ing of clock. Do this for one hour,
and you will be glad to pull off your
coat and work like man.
For fit of Extravagance-Go to the
workhouse. or speak with the ragged
inmates of a Jail, and you will be con-
vinced.
For fit of Ambltion-Go to the
churchyard and read the gravestones.
They will tell you the end of man is at
his best estate.
For a fit of Repining-Look about for
the halt the blind, and visit the bed-rid-
den, and afflicted and the deranged !;
and they will make you ashamed of
complaining of your light Affections.
For a fit of Envy-Go and see how
many who keep their carriages are affiict-
ed with rheumatism, gout and dropsy !;
how many walk abroad on crutches or
stay at home wrapped in flannel; and
how many are subject to epilepsy and
apoplexy.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-10-28

A German princess is expected to
live on $4,000 year.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-10-28
SHOT GUNS!

The subscriber offers the remainder
of a large lot Of guns, purchased of the
Government. for the extremely low price
of $3.50. These Guns are the Spring
8: :" s$:'s 's;:; s;; :;; 5::y 5.:!:: 5;:s
percussion lock, black walnut stocks,
and are warranted perfect. They have
been thoroughly tested, aud are reliable
for any distance under 20 rods. Sent
&c. o. D." for $3.50. Address,
G. H. BLAKE, Barton, Vt.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-10-28

Cyrus Card was married recently, and
on his wedding notices were, "No cards. :"
He doesn't know what may happen.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-10-28
DIsREsPECT In THE FAMILY.

One of the greatest evils known in
the family circle is the disrespect so
frequently shown between members, one
to another, in speech. action and dress.
The gruff 'yes'' or ''no'' of husband to
wife, in answer to pleasant query, leads
to unpleasant consequences, and beget
cold. calculating style of address on
either side, which sooner or later is
adopted by the younger members, and
the love and affection which should
dwell within is dispelled like dew before
the morning sun. The Indifference often
shown in little acts of duty, and the
manner in which they are performed,
seem to carry the expression: "I'm glad
that's out of the way; don't trouble me
again." In dress and personal appear
ance, the husband goes unkempt and
unshaven, and the wife slipshod and
shabby. Anything is good enough for
home when there are no strangers about.
Thus are habits of disrespect formed,
and one of the great dangers of home
life bred and fostered. Many of us have
seen the play of "Flannigan's Home" I"
where Pat comes tumbling into the house
at dusk, dumps his hod in one corner,
his hat and coat in another, kicks the
cat through the window. damns Biddy,
swears the grub isn't eft for mon to
ate" and raises general row all round.
It is a good thing for the well-to-do in
life to study the character of the ex-
tremists of the lower strata, and ask
themselves if there is not room for i'm
provement in their own more pretentious
homes.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-10-28

Mrs. Partington is solicitous to know
whether man who dips his can into a
tank of water is a can tank-erous man,
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1878-07-31

haps a supersT Gp1s offering to the
vexed spirit Of tie departed. / had
determined to gol back without being
seen, if possible, and get this watch,
appropriating it, as ! felt sure my
mother would approve, to aid myself
and my friend in our sore need.
The ride seemed long one; the
road wound about in manner had
never observed before, with persis-
tent lodging at the end, that gave
me ample time for revolving ways
and means for carrying out my
scheme, till finally the moon shone
out on the last evolution and leaving
the cars l trudged on foot until the
the sentinel poplars guarding Aunt
Margery's gate with their long black
shadows, came in view.
1t was with beating heart, not
withstanding my bravery, that 1 took
the key of the side door from my
pocket, and entered the familiar dom.
icile at night-fal like shadow.
Itwas easy enough to obtain access
to the inner part of the house from
here, for most of the doors were
carelessly latched, and 1 was not like
ly to meet any servant at this time in
the evening. / remembered q GER
tain wide wiIdow-sill in the hall,
groplng towars which / sat down to
rest myself, with a curiously scared
and haunted feeling, which had not
entered into MY calculations when l
planned this ludacious expedition.
Then, removing my shoes, l slipped
softly through the long, deserted
passageway TO my own room. The
door opened with a treacherous creak
thatseemed bert to betray me. 1t ap-
peared an age before was fairly
within.
ihls was my own pretty, pleasant
little room, the shelter where l had
SO often betakel myself from Aunt
Margery's rasphg voice and incessaia
fault-tinding-vhere / had dree esss
day-dreams ant revelled in nil htly
visions. This cherished and familiar
little nook hadchiIled to me in one
days absence. 1t had given posses
SION to hor(e of shadows that,
moeklng and gsticulating, fitted to
and fro in the Uncertain light. Per-
maps the bree2 blown branches of
the elm outsideplayed me this trick
out 1t confuse' me strangely, and
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1878-07-31


hands down deep into his pockets.
There was none of that CHEEKY
Jingle of small change in them with
which Dick was wont to playfully
salute my ears. This silence was ON
inous. "Where to go to" added Dick
after long and portentous pause.
Going to look for business"
"Ahp
"Dick, how you talk Put your
hat on straight, and walk along.
Everybody is looking at us.
"My DEAR" said Dick, 1acetiousIy,
and laughing now and showing his
white teeth, "that remark of mine to
which youtake exception was prompt
ed by the fact that Pm out of Job
myself. Suppose l was in a quarrel
some mood after l left the old lady,
for when lawyer Gudge set upon me
about neglecting the correspondence,
copying, and the like slavish business
turned upon the old brute, and we
had a blow-up. 1 am out on the
world, dear, with capital of twenty
cents to begin with"
For two homeless waits that sum
was not extensive. l took my purse
out of my pocket, never heavy one ;
but now-O fate 0 evil, careless
fate la hole revealed itself in the
silken tissue, through which had slip
ped noiselessly nursing, n piece OF
gold which | had cherished there,
wrapped in a bit Of paper, for a
twelvemonth.
| looked in my friends face blank
ly, l was no princess it seemed, COM
ing to his rescue with golden gifts.
but an added weight about his neck.
"Dick," l taltered meekly, "rm in.
tending to work for a living"
"Of course" was the answer, 'Inay
/ enquire what at?" +
You know / can do most any
thing, Dick"
Jenny child, said my companion,
looking down upon me benignantly,
and stopping short in his walk, Dick
always awed me when he assumed
this elder brother aspect) Jenny
child, it hard-driven sort of world
you have put your tiny self into-a
place where it is a very hard matter
to geta footing, and where, if your
foot slips you are sure to be carried
out into deep water" Dicks face
darkened as he looked at the tide of
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1878-07-31

preparations fOr her 1nna,+,,,a
waited FOR DicK- Dfck, night
hearted, high spirited, Dick who
had taken up his cap and left after
his last word battle with Aunt Marg-
cry. This blow had taken the sun
shine too utterly out Of my life, and
there, as sat as the window, | men
tally shook my fist at this gibbering
thing, SO sheltered and favored while
he was adrift-where What would
become Of Dick? oh, what would be-
come OF Dick ? The lad had always
had some business in the city that sat
lightly upon him, coming and going
at his leisure; but now for three
whole days mis- face had not tighten
ed the gloomy house. The longing
to know Of his welfare, the yearning
to see him, had grown intense and
intOlerable. And now, rendered ir-
ritable and distraught by my anxiety,
had quarrelled with Aunt Margery
myselt-I to whom her invalid state
had hitherto excused so much, who
had been her patient nurse so long.
and her acknowledged peace-msker
between herself and the impolitic,
outspoken Dick. had fallen from
my high estate; / was an outcast
from tavor-not worth so much in
Aunt Margery's eyes as this leering
old parrot.
Well, | need sacrifice myself no
longer. 1 was free TO 90 away. oh,
how useless, how mean and degrad-
ing, seemed all that ! had suffered
and endured 1t could benefit Dick
10 more, and in his absence, dropped
its splendid apparel of selt-sacritice,
and revealed itself q beggerly and
sordid tameness of spirit.
Outside of this narrow groove
where I had grabbed and vegetatcd,
there was a thrilling, splendid reality
of existence. A sort Of winged feel
ing took possession of me as con-
templsted the possibilities of the fu
ture. The parrot put up his elfn
claw, blinked at me from the corner
of his eye, and cried, "Just so !" as
he Topped back into his open cage.
From the window where that cage
hung Icould see the glowing gardens
and pleasant lawns stretching below,
and in the wistfnl hazy distance the
city seemed to shadow through
the bright, busy city where every one
was astir and at work. Dick was
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1878-07-31

beg your pardon. But Jenny girl
Pve been walking the road till I
couldn't stand it any longer. Thou't
you'd been robbed, or waylaid, or
something"
Propped up on her elbow among
the pillows, Aunt Margery looked
out majestically and interrupted this
TRADE.
fool ?"
Couldn't exactly state tonight.
auntie. Haven't time to analyze. i
only came to look after Jennie. She's
all right, it seems, so I'll bid Won
goodnight"
Dick" said the invalid, SHAKING,
her long forefnger at him authorit.
atively, "you stay just where you are.
l can't do without Jennie, / find
she can't do without you, it appears"
"Of course not" said Dick, DELHI
erately taking a chair. II always
was an appendage of Jenny's you
know, and shall be for the rest of NV
natural life I'm afraid"
=" just SOL" screamed the parrot,
one bright sunny morning, as step
ped down stairs in q floating bridal
veil, and with my mothers watch in
my girdle, Aunt Margery's wedding
gift. Dick was waiting for me below,
with beaming face and outstretched
arms
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1878-07-31
THE FLORIDA AAGRICULTURIsT,

there too, somewhere. Dick did bu
siness easily and irresponsibly as 9
bird. Why should not I do bust
ness ? ! began to take account Of
stock-to make mental estimate Of
myself It is surprising, in this COM
mercial valuation Of ones self, how
percentages shrink. A little hazy
knowledge of history, a little nebu-
lous acquaintance with general litera-
ture, light touch upon the piano
all these things look painfully thread
bare upon close examination, like
stage properties by daylight. 1
could not settle upon any speciality
in which I WIS pre-eminent. I must
leave my future to fate, and / did so
| with the delightful confidence of
youth.
So the early dawn found me at the
garden gate face to face with the
kindling morning, the garden quiet
and odorous. I felt q sort of sinking
at my heart not quite in accordance
with my enterprise. But the hustle
about the depot and all the sights
and sounds of travel, speedily dis
PEELED my grief and once in the cars
my spirits rose to the occasion. Oh,
if I could do something, be some
thing yet and 1 nibbled a bit of cake
by way of breakfast, care free and
happy and confident.
The city was quite inspiring as 1
entered it-so delightfully."- active and
bustling that it took my breath.
People were coming and going pur-
poseful and businessful; everybody
seemed to have his eye on some goal
ahead to be reached by given time.
l only walked leisurely along enjoy
ing the scene, and wondering to my
self if j should know Dick if l should
meet him in the whirlpool, or would
he know me. I
All these faces were strangers'faces.
Of all these people not one had any
interest for me. The gay scene dim |
med for q moment, and for q moment !
felt the chill OF isolation, as the |
crowd swept by. wondered was
Dick as lonely, as wistful, as /. The |
question was answered by sudden |
leart thrill, for there, lusty and ruddy !
stood Dick before me. [
tearsI clasped his hand with I'M I
necessary tervor as / said, ooh, 0icLs
yhere d you come from?" -
"Where did yoas c1nafrom?'S re-
ponded Dick sharpl g. Il
'I-WeN, Richard, / caQls stand /
Aunt Margery any longer-fv c,s.s't d
q. and / have left. R.iahardr,,. -
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1878-07-31
The Rights Of Women.

The rights of women. what are theys
The right to labor, love and pray.
The right to weep when others weep,
The right to wake when others sleep.
The right to dry the falling tear,
The right to 0uell the rising fear;
The right to smooth the brow OF care,
And whisper comfort to despair.
The right to watch the parting breath.
To sooth and cheer the bed of death.
The right when earthly hopes all fail.
To point to that within the vail.
The right the wanderer to reclaim,
And win the lost from paths of shame:
The right to comfort and to bless
The widow and the fatherIess.
The right the little ones to guide,
In simple faith to Him who died:
With earnest love and gentle praise
10 bless end cheer their youthful DAYS.
The right to live for those they love.
The right to die that love to prove:
The right to brighten earthly homes
With pleasant smiles and gentle tones.
Are these thy rightsf then use them we'll
Thy silent influence none can tell;
II these are thine Why ask for more
Thou hast enough to answer for.