The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-05-02
HUMOROUS.

Ill MOKOUS.
The prevailing strawberry mark-sl ,25
per quart.
Kansas is settling up. Go thou and
do likewise.
The Philadelphia mint is the only es-
adjustment that's making much money
nowadays.
TheBurlington HaWkeye thinks Homer
was a Methodist minister, because he
lived in so many cities.
England has a good standing army.
"And the stiller it stands, says the Gar,
"the better it will be for it,"
Mum sociables originated in the barber
shops years ago. The customer has the
mum and the barber the sociable.
Speaking of mysterious disappearances
what has become of the 1890 American
sopranos who have made astounding de-
butts in Italy
Diamonds are getting out of fashion,
and soon there will be nothing to distin-
guish a Niagara hackman from the ordi-
nary capitalist.
What is the difference between our
post office and the church that has the
largest clergyman? One has the post
master and the other has the most pastor.
A woman in Indianapolis has given
birth to triplets three times. The hus-
band gently huns: "Baby mine, baby
mine" And SO she is. A consolidated
Virginia, regular bonanza.
An editors wife never goes through
her husbands other trousers pockets to
strike package of love letters. Editors
are not like the wicked, unfaithful men
of the world-they rarely have the other
tro users.
When the recording angel observes a
minister of the gospel holding nail be-
tween mis- fingers, while he misses it with
hammer, the trustworthy scribe drops
into brown study and pretends not to
hear anything.
THIS conundrum is now in circulation:
''W hat is the difference between potato
and a lemon?' When the questioned
party says he don't know, the other says:
''Then 1 don't want you to buy any
lemons for me-" and then comes the
cha! ha, hal"
"Now, my boy" said the examiner, if
I had a mince-pie and shonld give two
twelfths to Isaac and two-twelfths to
Harry and I should take half the pie
myself, what would there be left? Speak
out loud, SO that all can hear" "The
plate.' shouted the boy.
Baron Hickman says: "Always sleep
with your feet to the equator" Jes so,
Baron. But when a fellow gets home at
one o'clock A. NJ, and sees the bed and
mantle-piece spinning around like bosbins
in a mill, how's he going to know where
on earth the equator is?
You need not be afraid of giving too
much. The old darkey who said, ''if
any OBJ you know of any church wat
died of iberality, jes tell me whar it is,
an I will make pilgrimage to it, an by
de soft light oh de pale moon 1 will scrawl
| upon de topmost shingle. blessed am de
dead who die in de Lord"
The other day such a beautiful young
lady, eyes like midnight, hair like the
ravens wing, brow like alabaster, lips
like coral, pulse like an overland mail
pouch, went into Jefferson street dry
goods store, and asked to see some corn
colored silk. The youngest clerk limped
painfully behind the courier and handed
her down piece of scarlet. 81 said
corn-color," she murmmed. The young
salesman hesitated and fdgeted. "Well,
by dad" he exclaimed, that's the
prevailing color of my corns.' And
by the time the proprietor could hnr-
ry over to ask what was the matter,
she was out of the door and half block
away.