Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-04-10
HulDOr.
The silver question is about ore.
Who has lost the EIGHT cents2

Who has lost the eight cents?
Massachusetts wants the Moffett bell
punch.
A county paper in Indania heads list
of marriages Limited Partnerships.
An optlcan in Montreal left six wives
when he died. Specs So Boston Post.
Iowa has restored capital punishment.
westward the star OF hemp-ire takes it's
way Commercial ADVERTISER.
Vests are to be worn by the ladies.
says Harper's Bazaar. Pull down your
vests, girls.
We learn from private sources that
Professor Darwin is DESTROYS of re-
monkeytizing man. Horrible tail
Short dresses, three inches from the
ground, are the latest. Women with
big feet still prefer long skirts, however.
A girl of metal: One with silverv
voice, golden hair, brass in the face and
tin in the pocket being led to the altar.
An editor out West, speaking of a
blind sawyer, says, Although he can
not see he can saw"
They who marry for haits &c -44inu
!
springs of domestic enjoyment.
A Roman candle can be used to shoot
dog out from under barn, but the
barn should be located near an engine
house. Detroit Free Press.
1t is asserted of a Philadelphia that
he died worn out by too severe mental
effort in the study OF how to live with
out work"
There is a merchant in Burlington
who does not take trade dollars. He
doesn't advertise, and nobody ever
offers him any.
The papers say that Miss Cary, the
prima-donna, is going to Florida for her
health. How the duce did her health
get down there?
Somebody remarks that young ladies
look on boy as a nuisance until he is
past sixteen, when he generally doubles
up in value each year, until, like a
meerschaum pipe, he is priceless.
A wife will hardly ever notice whether
her husband has had his hair cut or not,
but let him go home with strange
hairpin in his overcoat and she'll see it
before he reaches the gate.
81 guess you'd build a railroad in
heaven better n you could play on a
golden harp" said Vanderbllt's clair
voyant physician to him. And the
Commodore felt very much hurt at the
expression of such an unreasonable
opinion.
Gentlemen of the Jury" said a
lawyer, 'at the moment the police
men says he saw US in front of the house
which was burglariously entered, will
prove that we were locked up drunk in
the station-house."
"What is your occupation, bub? ?"
said visitor at the capitol, of bright
boy whom he met in the corridor The
boy happened to be page in the house.
[ am running for congress, sir" he
replied.
A German fellow-citizen, recently
imported, attended a concert the other
evening and heard the well-known song,
Is She is Pooling Thee" etc. He i'm
mediately had placard posted up in
his "blace of pisness, No fool here.
! [ will no vomans drust. "--Rocheaer
Democrat.
When you nave seen woman twist
ing up her back hair, and holding
twenty-three hair-pins in her mouth,
while she tells neighbor on the other
side of the street how to make straw
berry short-cake SO the man can't see
strawberry. the secret of Demosthenes'
successful training with the pebbles is
no longer a mystery.
When wife demonstrated with her
husband for staying out late at might, he
retorted: You got me in the way of it.
Before we were married you used to
throw your arms about my neck at
three o'clock and say, "Don't go, darl-
ing; it is early YETI but now if [ hap
pen to stay out till two it is a terrible
affair"
Young man, if she smilse on you
more sweetly than usual-ifshe futters
out to meet you at the gate with new
cordality-if she remarks that eleven
o'clock isn't a bit late'-if she invites
you to call again. with confidential
earnestness- if she says goodnight"
with gentle pressure of her dear little
hand-ifshe does all these things, young
man, be not deceived The strawberry
and ice cream season is at hand.
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