The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-03-14
WAITS AND wHIMs.

door and does his tasting. ~
SPRING is here, and you had now better
look out for hard winter.
A oNE-LEaeED man was arrested in
Pittsburg for kicking boy.
THE fashionable moonstone is cut to
represent the man in the moon.
SOME people are like eggs, too full of
themselves to hold anything else.
+ A LONDON solicitor served writ on
an actress, finging it in bouquet.
WINNIE REAM's bust of David Davis
is said to resemble the Cardiff giant.
A DETROIT chambermaid calls her
self "t the sheet-slinger of Michigan"
THE material most used out west for
life-sized bust is quart of whisky.
EVERY absurdity has champion to
defend it, for error is always talkative.
HONOR and obey your son and daugh-
ter, that your days may be long in the
land.
WHY do you poke fun at the British
lion? He never hurt you; he wouldn't
hurt fly.
AGAIN it is asked, "Will the coming
man drink winef' Will the coming
duck SWIM?
ARE your words of more weight when
you pro-pound anything than when you
announce it? c 81
The irresolute never prosecute their
views 50 long as they have any excuse
left for delaying.
PURE white damask is preferred for
table linen, as it shows to advantage the
colored china now so much used.
Two breweries in England, it is stated,
consume as much water daily as would
supply town of 5000 inhabitants.
AND after the fire, a still, small voice.
1t is that of the reporter sliding around
| for the amount of loss and insurance.
| ."SAY, pa" asked youngster, inquiring
One day, tell me what is q ring?"
I" A ring" said the parent, admiring, s
Let's see-well-its not q square thing
THE new salary list made by the Mis-
sissippi Legislature gives the Governor
$4,000 year, and the Secretary of State
$4,000.
THE charge is publicly made that
Judge Peck, of Wyoming, appears on
the bench with his hair parted in the
middle.
NEXT to English sparrows there is
nothing that increases faster than potato
bugs, unless it is the interest on an un-
paid note.
Bella Horrida Bella. Darda Nells,
Sofia, Sal Onica, CALI Polly, Bess
Arabia, Sue Ez.
A FROZEN rabbit, placed in the oven
| by Missourian to thaw out, exploded
and tore the oven door off. This is new
feature in rabbit transit.
A GERMAN polar expedition will start
two weeks ahead of Benefits, but Ben
nett declares that no north pole which
it may discover will be genuine.
A YOUNG man about town says his
washer-woman refused him two days
credit, Notwithstanding he trusted her a
whole week with his three best shirts.
WOULD not enter on my list of friends
! Though graced with polished manners and fine
Yet wanting sensibility) the man
Who needlessly sets foot upon worm.
TIE newspaper report that Gail
Hamilton had restored the growth of
her hair by amounting her scalp with raw
onion has raised the price of onions in
Washington.
THE years of old age are stalls in the
cathedral of life in which the aged sit
and listen and wait till the service is
over, when they, with all their heart, at
last, may say Amen.
THE prairie grouse is gradually fol-
lowing the progress of the railroads
from the Nebraska prairies westward.
California's effort to introduce and accli-
mate them has failed.
A SCOTTISH clergyman quoted a text
of Scripture in his prayer, and added,
for the instruction of his audience,
"For that, o Lord, is the correct trans
lation of the passage"
owe had short-cake for tea," said a
little girl to neighbors boy 10 whom
she was talking through the fence. $50
did We" he answered, Every short-so
short it didn't go round"
THE silver dollar is remonetized, and
the flush times have come. How strange
its seems, in an era of prosperity such as
this, to look back on the hard, weary,
grinding times that are gone!
BEEcHER says in his newspaper that
"the intimations of the Bible, so far as
it contains any, are that the departed
| live in close proximity to the earth, and
are cognizant of what is going on"
The celebrated Eddystone Lighthouse
in the British channel, which has buff
feted the waves of a century, will prob.
ably soon disappear, owing to the under
mining of the reef below it by the
waters.
A GENTLEMEN of color in Washing
ton announces that he is the champion
napkin folder, and wishes to make {
match to come off at Saratoga, in JUNE
or July, where he works as waiter in on.
of the hotels.
1ORDER is heavens first law" o.
something that way. Some women con
strue this sentence to suit themselves
and never cease to "order until con
fronted by the inquiry: "Who do 20,
suppose is going to pay for all this"
In the Department of the Puy-de
Dome, Madame NJ, the wife of Colone
in the French army, has been arrestet
t for fraud. Her husband has gone ou
, of his mind in consequence, and her sol
t of eighteen has blown his brains out.
SOME of the English scientific mel
} are disposed to do with the telephone a
they did with the telegraph-claim it a
, an Engliah invention. Mr.. w. 3
l Preece, z. E., has just delivered
t lecture before the Royal Institution, i
/ which he finds that the telephone wa
2 "shadowed forth" by Hooke in 166,
| and practically applied" by Whea
r stone in 1889.
= AN inventor of compound, to
s used as Greek fire." showed the efe,
!. of his invention to President Lincoll
s one summer evening, in the grount
. near the White House. Boards wei
q set up, and the stuff, being thrown upo
d them, burst into flames and burned then
e Lincoln stalked down into the gloon
where the stuff was still smolderin,
pulled up handful of grass, came hac