The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-09-05
WIT AND HUMOR.
A SWEET craft-Courtship.

A SWEET craft-Courtship.
GA CELEBRATED case'-The print
er's.
IT'S wise joke that knows it's own
father.
THERE was row in Boston harbor
last Tuesday between whites and blacks.
The former were beaten-four boat
lengths.
The man who "stopped to take
breath" the other day, took so much
with it that policeman took all three to
the station-house.
A BRIGHT little girl who knows all
about doll anatomy, on hearing that her
grandma had broken her leg, wanted to
know if the sawtlust all came out of it.
A GENTLEMAN who was presented with
an heir, after having had six children of
the other sex come into the family, &C
knowledged that it was great sir prize.
A FRIEND writes that " the mosquitoes
are too thick to sleep much down where
he is" They are too thin to sleep at all
here, or let anybody else that they can
get at.
AN cold maid" of Hoboken asks,
"Who ever saw a man kind ?" The
Philadelphia Bulletin asks, "Who ever
saw lamb chop" The Boston Globe
asks, "Who ever saw hair dye?"
THERE isn't much difference between
an old Roman soldier and cannibal
who has just dined on nice young fe-
male missionary, for the former was a
gladiator, and the latter is glad-he. ate
her, too.
81 SIGH for one glance of your rye"
warbled an impecunious fellow as he
wandered into leading saloon few
days ago. He got but "glance," his
range of vision being suddenly trans
ferred to the outer air.
A YOUNG M. D. who graduated from a
Philadelphia medical college last spring
claims to have discovered an infallible
cure for yellow fever. He says painting
the patient red will keep the yellow in
the fever from showing.
Mrs. HENpEcK-" How stupid that
you can't recollect when Mrs. Maj.
Shouter called!' Mr.. Henpeck-"I-
know it was the day you hit me with the
camp-stool." Mrs. Henpeck- Then it
was on Friday" Mr.. Henpeck-" Oh,
no; that was the day you threw the tea
pot at me"
"MINE's eau de vie," responded pa
tient waiter, as he stepped up readily to
the bar with the three who were invited
to join a newcomer. eyes, and you've
owed V here now these six weeks" said
the barkeeper, "and oughtto be branded
as man that don't pay" And he was
so branded.
GIVE have plenty of fresh salt air here
even our lady boarders wear sol taires
in their ears" said an enthusiastic sea-
side landlord. "Don't say So" said the
press guest; "have you salt-rheum in
the house?" "Yes, sir" said the land
lord, quickly; Z" humorous correspond
ent has it just now"
A FULL. BEARDED young grandfather
recently had his hirsute appendage
shaved off, showing clean face for the
first time for a number Of years. At the
dinner-table his 3-year-old granddaugh-
ter noticed it, gfzed long with wonder
1lS eye, 1uO hudAAJ OJoOItA"oSos OAI0"AN<
father, whose head you got on?"
"SwEErs to the sweet" said young
man on passing the strip to ayoung lady
seated at one of our hotel tables. ''And
beets to the beat" remarked the lady,
showing a dish of that vegetable toward
the young man. For some reason the
observation cast settled gloom DER
countenance that just before was radiant
with smiles. ..- ... ...
HERE is the peroration of an able
counsel's remarks: 81 hope, gentle
men of the jury, that you will not regard
the case for the prosecution as having
been made out. But il, to suppose an
impossibility, you should condemn my
clieIt, let me beseech you to have what
mercy you may have upon this unhappy
man who has never yet strayed from the
path Of rectitude, and only asks your as
sistance to enable him to return to it. 4"
Now DOTH the merry harvester
Whistle the jolly tunes,
The while the gentle bumble-bee
Skips up his 'pantaloons."
Gone after the arn1ca.
-StillacateT L0m,bernoGga.
1oao ;o ob11rob IL Won