The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1878-08-14
Sense and Nonsense.
Morning rappers-Milkmen.
Steal WOrks-SaYinrs hanks

Love, ire anu cough cannot De hld zee
Many will give advice; few will give help.
Measure ten times. you can cut onlyIonce.
Aworm on the hook is worth two in the
mud. srst
Our actions are our own; their consequences
belong to Heaven.
There is a boy in Chicago SO bright that
his mother looks at him through smoked
glass.
it cost too much for washing, wearing three
shirts day. B l4st5
Who is powerful? He who can control his
passions. Who is rich? He who is contented
with what he has.
A granger observed q lady kick up her
skirts yesterday, and exclaimed LORI, I've
q cow that can do that!'
One of Jasper's converts is frank enough
to reply; ~ doan know wheddcr pze got re-
ligion or notify me wild chickun!'
What is ,patienc,ee,?n, asked teacher Of a
weary" answered little Scotch girl.
A shopkeeper of great experience says that
however laxative clerks may be during the
day, they are always ready to shut up at
night.
Practical observations by the Worcester
Press: "The pen is nightier than the sword,
but the humble paste-pot is greater than he
that taketh city,
The closest shave in the way of joke re-
Gently, is the observation that the grass is so
short in Colorado, that it has to be lathered
before it can be moved.
One extra stron g-minded woman has re-
| marked that an old bachelor is man who,
through selfish motives, has refrained from
making some woman wretched.
The Detroit Free Press asks: "Are water
melons healthys'' They are not. They are
dropsical, and never attain ripe old age,''
| seldom living over six months.
| minutes after school, and the boy asked her
| to make it half an hour, as he thought she
was the prettiest teacher in town.
beg pardon for stepping on your train,
| said fop at ball; then added, you ought to
have cow-catcher on it." "And would have
caught calf" said the young lady.
! Mr.. Post, of Ohio, aged one hundred
years, is missing from home His friends
should look for him in the dead letter office,
| where he is probrbly held for Post age
Thought I'd leave my measure on your
! mo necessity for that" said the barkeeper;
| I'VE know exactly how much you hold"
! The Russians give their dogs the powdered
! larvae OF the rose-beetle as a preventive for
| hydrophobia. The same remedy is given to
human beings who have been bitten by dogs.
Success in life is very apt to make us forget
the time when we weren't much. 1t is just
SO with the frog on jump; he can't remem-
| Der when he was tadpole-but other folks
can. .t.e #
These are days Of progress. 1t took Moses
| forty years to travel through the wilderness.
| The average bank cashier of to-daY>would
| cover the ground in about twenty -four
hours.
The following sentiment is attributed to
Napoleon Bonaparte: "A handsome woman
pleases the eye, but good woman pleases the
| heart. The one is a jewel, the other a
| treasure"
Angels in the grave will not question thee
as to the amount Of wealth thou has left be-
hind thee, but of good deeds thou hast done
| in the world, to entitle thee to a seat among
the blessed.
II wonder where those clouds are going"
sighed Flora, pensively, as she pointed, with
| delicate finger, to the heavy masses floating
| in the sky, 81 think they are going to thumb
err" said her brother.
Women are not very proud of their ances-
try; not nearly SO much as men. You will
find thousand men named Adam where YOU
will find one woman named after her illustri.
Gus grandmother, Eve,
The ruling passion cropped out in barber,
who while shaving the face of dead man gave
| the corpse the whole history of the European
gress of the rapid transit railroads
A man in Illinois committed suicide by
drowning, lately, in six inches of water He
couldn't have done it alone, but his wife, with
the self-sacrificing devotion and helpfulness
so characteristic of the sex, sat on his head.
Sarah Ann: Oh, amt my brother a clever
boy, Eliza Jane? He's on'y bin to school
two months, an he's got the catechism. Eliza:
Wot's that? Why my brothers only bin to
fyu0 a1xe NIL o3c <1.,,, ooc1o
AS a note of travel-on toot--the remark of
a tramp who was begging something to eat is
one of the best on record. He was SO thin,
he said, that when he had pain he couldn't
tell whether it was stomach ache or back
ACHE. t
The photograph may bottle up the voice
and pass. 1t down to future ages; but the
smile that twists the face of man as he
seeks solitude and gazes upon his name in
print for the first time, will always have to be
guessed at. i'@7
Germantown gentleman has dog that
will not permit him to enter the house if his
wife his out of temper. The animal foresees
slime" between his master and mistress,
and out of consideration for the latter prevents
his entrance.
"And now, young gentlemen, which of you
ets-the champion planet, SO to speak Of our
solar systemY' I can sir. 'Its Saturn"
And how is that. pray? "Why, because he
carries the belt"
whats that?' he asked his landlady, as she
set his cup by his plate. "Cofee," was the
promptrep "Ah," innocently remarked the
boarder, with an air Of interest, land what is it
made of?' And there was silence around.the
table for the space Of half an hour.
One Of the great and lamentable mistakes of
many pastors is in not weaving in" some
thing for the children at every public Sunday
service. AS q rule, every part OF every service
is beyond their reach, whether it be the pray
ing, reading, singing or preaching.
Mrs Dennison, says an exchange. has made
Mine" to purchase Washington residence.
It is not strange; many a woman has made
enough money out Of that husband Of hers to
60 into all sorts of extravagances.
Sunday at home Mamma: snow Jack.
there are ten commandments you have to
keep If you took a thing that wasn't yours
you would break COMMANDMENT Jack
remembering something about some little
darkes): "And then there'd be nine"