Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1878-11-20
Jones and the Barber.
Oil City Derrick.


Oil City Derrick.
entered the barber shop and found the
barber reading the paper; won't have
to wait for my next" and he tossed his
hat into a corner and seated himself for
a shave.
''How is this?" said the barber read
ing from paper that marks its witty
column with blue pencil. "By George,
how's this! Pretty good, take it," and
he read:
'Did you ever see pump handle
anything? Did you ever see a witty
cism? Who ever see dog call herr"
And the good barber laughed heartily
at these scintillations OF w.t. and said
that "Some of them fellers are most
blamed clever"
Then he turned to the yellow fever
department, and, after reading three
or four dispatches, asked Jones if he
thought the scourge would reach Oil
City.
Jones said there was a possibility that
1t would get there by the middle of the
winter, and he would like to be shaved
and fixed up before it arrived.
The barber said it was a terrible thing,
yawned, laid down the paper, and
shufiled up to the chair. He arranged
the towels about Jones' neck, felt of
his beard, run his fingers through his
hair, scrutinized wart on the side of
mis- nose, turned his lower lip down over
his chin, and asked him if he had his
tooth fixed in the oil regions or in New
York.
Jones answered as best he could. con-
sidering that the barber still kept his lip
hauled down taut.
After examining the dental work on
the tooth, which he unhesitatingly pro-
nounced "a good job" the barber let
go Jones lip, and went out to throw
stone at a dog that was barking at a cat
in the back yard.
When he came back Jones said he
would like to be shaved as quickly as
possible, as he was in somewhat of a
hurry.
Certainly, certainly" said the bar
Der, rs he spread the lather over Jones
face and began to hunt for a razor.
After examining several, he began to
slap the strap with one, while he re-
marked that fall had probably set in
in earnest, and that the base ball fever
was about as bad as ever, etc. Giving
the razor one pull down over the side Of
Jones face, he wiped off the blade,
laid it down, took up another, examin-
ed its edge, and whipped the strap
with it as before, asking Jones if he
really thought business was picking
up any, and if he thought it would
rain.
Jones moved uneasily Oh the stocks,
and said he was sure there would be
storm, and he wanted to get shaved and
have his moustache waxed before the
flood came.
The barber grew pale around the
mouth, and his lip Quivered. "You said
that once before" he remarked CURLY,
Don't say il again, please, or there'll
be trouble. Pm gentleman when deal
ing with a gentleman; but | know when
Pm insulted, SIR"
"Well, confound it ALL" exclaimed
Jones, very much out of patience. ~
came here to be shaved, and not to be
talked to death"
ooh! you want to be shaved, do
your" exclaimed the barber, in rage.
"You don't want to be talked to death,
don't you? A barber can't open his
mouth, can't he? o no! barber is a
doggoned machine, l suppose. and
must move about his work like
wooden Injun IN front of a cigar store.
All right, all right! you shall be shaved
and have your moustache waxed so
blamed fast it'll make your head
SWIM
And, buckling down to his work, he
shaved Jones in two minutes and half
by the watch. and cut him seventeen
times by actual count.
Moral-Let a barber talk. 1t Is cheap
err than to be kept away from business
for two or three days while you stop
bleeding.
\ VALUABLE DIsCovERY.-It is an
open secret that party of about ten
prospectors have discovered a new gold
bearing quartz lead about five miles
from this city, which is said to be Of
immense width. Oae wall rock of quartz.
l. 8, l.