The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1878-10-17

THE IRREPREssIBLE.-T were all out
at the sprpgs-father, mother and the
five year old boy After an invigorating
bath they went up on to the hill to the
chickens soup spring, and while regaling
themselves with the deligh tful drink, the
little one looked at the bubbling, steam
ing water a moment, and then asked
Mamma, what makes that water boil
so?'
"God does, my SON.
"How does he do it p
ooh he builds big fire under it
docs he build the fire his own sell T.
Yes. | suppose so.
The little one reflected a moment, then
asked:
Mamma, does God kick over the
chairs and swear at Mrs God when he
has to get up and build the fire p
The wife glanced suggestively at her
husband, but his eyes were fixed intentiy
upon some object away down the river
The silence for a minute was absolutely
painful and then the man softly re-
marked:
g never before knew the Humboldt to
be so low at this time o year"
The Rev. Henry Ward Beecher, while
ago went to hotel in a city of New Jer
sey for nights stay. He ordered supper,
and after taking few sips of coffee called
the colored waiter and said Can Won
give me your services this EVENING"
Yes, sah said the waiter briskly The
matter is one OF importance" said Mr.
Beecher; perhaps l had better speak to
the landlord myself about ii. oh, no,
sah.' said the sable attendant, fearful OF
losing the humping. fee that the preach
ers earnestness foreshadowed Il can
give you all the time you need" "Well,
then" said Mr. Beecher, with added so
lemnity, Il want you to sit up with this
coffee. | is so weak it is going to die
OF pathetic silence, and the waiter with
drew.
An irascible old gentleman who for
merly held the position of Justice of the
Peace, was recently accosted in the street
in manner that did not come up to his
honor's idea of the respect due to him.
Young man, said he, 81 fine you twenty
shiilings for contempt OF court" why,
Judge" said the offender, "you are not
in session" This court, replied the
Judge, rs always in session, and conse
quentiy always an object OF contempt"
Like all Rome urchins, Liberty street
youth Just ready for his first trousers, is
familiar with Bible history and careful Of
his playthings. The other day he asked
his mother whether David, who killed
Goliath had taken good care of his play
things. "Oh, certainly" responded the
encouraging parent We'll" said the
mbitious youth, "the reason why asked
was would like to borrow David sling,
if his folks are willing
magazine writer says there is a Ian
guage OF the hair Don't doubt it in the
least AT any rate, we have heard Of tol
erably well authenticated cases where q
single auburn hair on a dark coat cola r
could talk palmer than a guide boaId,
and furnish the material for whole
course OF lectures.
Now then, madame please look stead
lily at this on the wall" said a photo
grapher to an old lady, when he had put
her in position and the plate in the cam
era. The old lady looked hard at the
spot indicated, then got up and walked
across the floor and minutely inspected
it, and then, turning to the photographer,
gently remarked, 81 don't see anything
| there.
A Scotch farmer had determined, in
| spite OF the bad times, to pay his rent, if
it were his last shilling, and, saying to
the factor who received it, 1T is my last
shilling" he threw down roll Of notes
| The factor counted them, and said {:
There is ESQ too much" "Odds, man p
said the farmer. II put my hand in the
wrong pouch
Dear me, what charming little birds
They are perfectly exquisite" They are
not birds my dear, replied her country
cousin. They are butterflies" ''Oh
you don't say so Then these are the
deah little creatures that fly from flower
to flower and gather the sweet yellow
butter that we use. They are too lovely
for anything"
Ma" said little fouryear- II saw
something run across the kitchen floor
this morning without any legs What do
you think it was p The mother guessed
various legless worms and things, and
then gave irup; when the little fellow
said: why, Ma, it was waterr'
1t is not good for man to be alone, un-
| der any circumstances but when he falls
in a ten foot cellar, on his way home on a
dark night, he feels that the companion
ship of even a stepladder would add won
dertully to the comfort of his surround
ipgs
We met farmer, a day or two ago, who
was so hard pushed that he was on his
way to pawn his hoe. We told him we
were sorry to see his case so hopeless
"Hopeless!" he exclaimed; "far from il!
You know the old motto, hoe pawn,
hope ever
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