The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1878-06-20
.DRIC-1-BR4C.

tains.
Babies arc described as coupons
attached to the bonds of matrimony.
Truth should not walk SO closo to
the heels of error as to stand q
chance of having it's brains kicked
out.
Men who travel bare~footed round
q newly carpetod bedroom often find
themselves on tho wrong tack.
cam I not little pale 2" inquired
n lady who was short and corpulent,
of a crusty old bachelor "You
look more like a big tub" was the
blunt reply.
"Poor boy !" said a lady, as she
took out her purse to givo the littlo
beggar some change. Eyes, L am q
poor boy" said the young rascal,
squeezing q tear out of his eyes,
''and havo three sick mothors to
support" T." Tho lady put back her
purse, shook her heal, and walked
sadly away
Nothing 50 thoroughly pleascs
man who has learned that q collec-
tion is to be taken in his church on
Sunday morning, and who has con-
sequently been unable to be present,
on account Of severe pain in his
back, rs to attend the evening SER
vice and hear Clergyman announce
that ''as many who desired to give
collection, it will now be repcated.'
A commercial traveller by mistake
handed Il merchant upon whom he
had called portrait Of his be-
trothed instead Of his business card
saying that no represented that
establishment. Tho merchant ex-
amincd it carefully, remarked that
it was fine establishment, and ro-
turnod it to the astonished and
blushing traveller, saying "I hope
you will soon be admitted into part
nership."
Tho other day one of the clerks in
Washington street store found the
porter crammed among the boxes
down cellar, with pom, ink and paper
before HIM "Writing q letter, eli 2"
queried the clerk. Eyes writing to
the old man in Buffalo" He
handed up the half written letter for
inspection, and presently the clcark
remarked 81 see you spell iur
'g-u-g; that isn't right" "Of
course not" replied the porter, ''but
you see 1 am writing to the the old
man, and he always spells that way.
Ii l put tho other e. to it, he would
think L was putting on style over
him and forgetting that I was his
son. He's good hearted and T don't
want to hurt his feelings"
"I never could" he said, the
other evening, while she was
smoothing out tho wrinkles Of his
forehead with the daintiest finger
that over woro plain ring, "I
never could treat you as Mr.. Ben
nett treated Mr.. May" "And why?'
she asked. ''Bccausc," he said,
and it was evident that the effort
was causing him intense agony, "be-
cause dream of my life, I have too
much respect for the laws to fight q
jewel" Then she won't out and
told her father to please come in, as
there appeared to be something the
matter with Alfred. They thought
no would hardly live through it, but
tho doctor bored hole in his head
and stuffed it full Of cotton to re-
lleve the vacuum, and at last &C
counts no was doing better.
Nine Roman Catholic churches
in Philadelphia have been entered
within month by burglars, who
carried off silver altar vessels, the
contents Of poor boxes, and other
portable things worth taking. In
one instance they fired the ediice.
but tho flame was quickly discovered
and extinguished. They also wan-
tonly destroyed vestments in such
a manner as to Indicate that they
were actuated by fanaticism.
A new method of raising church
funds is to hold hug sociables, where
one hug is sold for ton cents and
three for quarter. The old fash
Toned way is best, where two consti-
tute tho sociable and mako it very
sociable. and hugs don't cost one
cent unless the old man happens