Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1878-04-10
Hum0rsOme Waits.

The tramp is beginng to weary Of cold
turkey, aud is asking for spring lamb with
mint sauce.
SOMEBODY says that Longfellow is the
best read man in the country. How about
Spotted Tail and Red Cloud
The season for spring chickens has come,
aud old hens that are wise roost high, ac-
cording to the st. Louis Journal,
SPRING poetry may be written on both
sides of a sheet of paper. The waste basket
i, not particularly. o. Picayune.
Ar twenty woman searches for the trail
ing arbutus. At twenty-five she is after
horse-radish. At thirty she digs roots for
her blood Such is gentle spring in the va
rious stages OF the feminine life.-Ddn-
bury Ners.
'TENTloN, bredderen De Rev. Daniel
Draper and de Rev. John Jasper will bate
lie question whedder de sun devolves roun'
de earf or de earf roun' de sun in de open
field in Richmond, Nirginny, mex Sunday.
| Hyar, hyar
No matter how thoroughly you clean the
house, the wife of the next man who moves
in will declare il is not fit for hogs to live in,
and will slop suds around over everything
trying to make it fit for hogs to live in
| Rome Sentinel.
"IM ashamed of the age in which we
| live" said a maiden of thirty-eight. "You
may be ashamed of yours, but I'm not of
mine," replied "a nineteen-year-old COM
panion. And it wasn't much of nose that
went up, either.
A CAUTIOUS man may seek recreation in
toying with the hind hoofs of the abrupt
mule, but only the most reckless will follow
within a couple rods of the agile young
woman who kicks her train in the air and
catches it ON the ily.-Erchange.
A CHINESE legend says that the feet of
every pair to be united in wedlock are from
infancy tied together with an invisible
thread of silk, This is the reason Brigham
Young could not walk until he was fifteen
months old.-Ne,e Orleans Picdyune.
liz appeared TO be almost gone. Rolling
his eyes toward the partner of his bosom,
he gasped Bury me meath the weeping
willow, and plant single white rose above
my head" "Oh, it's no use !" she snapped
out. "Your nose would scorch the roots. -
lie got we'll
AT dinner the host introduces to the fa-
vorable notice of the company a splendid
trutled pheasant, amid murmurs of admir-
alton. Isn't it a beauty 2" he says. "Dr.
So-and-so gave it to me-killed it himself.
"Aw, what was he treating it for ?" asked
one of the guests.
WE read of poor boy in New Bedford
who was washed overheard recently and
killed. We cannot warn mothers too strongly
against washing children overboard if they
would only wash them at home with tepid
water and soap, and dry them thoroughly
afterward, all danger would be averted.-
Ddnbury NetrS.
How is this Professor j. 5, Newberry
charges a dollar admission to lecture in
which he says he don't know where men
come from. Colonel lngersoll, on the other
hand, charges seventy-fye cents admission
to lecture in which he tells us he don't
know where we are going to. Win some
savant have the kindness to tell us where
we are Y-Grdphic.
"WHIcH is the largest gland ?" asked a
Chicago medical professor of the newest
arrival in the class the other day. The
student buried himself in deep and atten-
tive thought for moment, and then bright
ening up suddenly exclaimed, a" The largest
gland, sir is-Enslandl" Then the pro
fessor kindly led him aside, and pathetically
advised him 10 think no more OF medicine,
but to Join minstrel show or enter the army