Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-01-02
A Basket Oy TrOOthS.


He whu wood rize in the wurld muszt
pay for the yeazt.
We are dizeazed when we amt eazy.
/ never knu flirt tn be Satisfied, tho
she may hev string ov swine danglin
after her mile long Yet she INT
kontented. Her hart IL like street
kar-alwus room for l more. ..
Eff a man trys tn blacken yure kharak-
ter, blacken yu biz eye.
In fashionable church uptown 800
persons were singln the uther mite, [
am tired of airth O, take mi soul tn
heaven" Sum Teller in the gallery
yelled Fire !" & 800 ov airth-weary
folks roze az | person & made for the
door. They .wuzn't SO tired ov airth,
after al t."--' 81.
Never ledge a man bi the koat he
wears; a sedy koat may kontain tru,
hOnezt man, vile brand nu l may hev
in it a thief or poltishan.
In mi humble opinyun, the man
whum kan iizten with tranquility tn
2 hand-organs & l pianna murderin
muzic at the same time, IL a double
decker martyr, and deserves heaven for
that / feat. -
Eff yu dye yure har, natur will soon
die yu. las tH .-Q T Z
The man whum kan trade horses
without liein about them IL hole-soui-
ed kristyan.
Charity, like justice, shood be blind
but not deaf. $3.50
Never be afraid ov roaring man; he
IL like a barkin dog-no bite in him.
Did yu ever notice peple whu laf the
MOTT belong tn 2 classes: Those whu
hev good teeth, and those whu hev de-
kaed teeth Or none at al.
There are sum people in thiz wurld
whu pretend that they wood rather give
muney tn poor folks than tn give them
old klotz. Bekause," they say, I" it IL
SIGH truble tn HINT old things up" SIGH
folks generally gives neither.
Eff yu hev gave 2 pence in charity in
mistake for l, don't think that yu vii
git credit for the amount which yu gave
yu vii only git credit for the amount
which yu intended tn give, namely,
l cent. sH
Likur hint so much tn blame for ma
kin men drunkards az &re those fellers
whu kals themselves kompanie.
Nothin takes that element kaled 10
quality out ov man so quick as fust-
class mules kick. hev knon kick tn
make man speeches. for over 2 hours.
The meanest kind of a butte IL the
Teller kristened GA spunjer.''
There IL no better cure for a skwolid
man then spruce wife.
Eff man fails in laudable underta-
!, 1o1-o1 i,o,t r., ~,
go, never tant him on account ov hiz
failure; for tn tant man in SIGH a case
IL 100 times worze then failure.
AL things amt sour that are. tart For
instance, yr,oe cd to kno a yung gal whum
waz nifty tar, but not sour. F..
Mi deer friends, i wood kindly admon-
ish yu tn beware Of gluttony. Never
make hogs ov ourselves; be tempera-
ture in all things, especially etin. Take
a lesson from our fust parents, Whu ate
themselves out ov house. & home. Be
ware, or the same fate may befal yu
A warnin in time IL wurth 10000 when
it il tn late.
N. B-The above applys tn drinkin
ALTO.
More hev been put out ov those kom-
Portable quarters by drinkin tn much
then bi ditto in etin.
A gallant Teller, Green by name, says:
"There IL nothin tn be admired az a
soft, sweet voize in woman, EXCEPT her
ability tn take in washin when the hard
times kome arund" SIGH gallantry
shood be admired hi every tru woman,
& in return she shood give SIGH fellers a
taste ov the broomstick, & with the aid
ov policeman, she shood help SIGH tn
git along-to the stete prizen, where the
likes ov him belong
The busy alone are happy.
Yu may think that WI will git the beet
ov sin, but in the long run sin viii git the
beet ov yu.
Gin & water is fust-class drink, pro-
vidin yu leave the gin out.
Nature never made an idler.
The man whum brings up family ov
10 boys, & makes every ov them an
honest man q gentleman, IL far great
er then the man whum takes 100 sites
and kills 10000 men.-Josh Billings