The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1878-07-24
what tyic wits Of Paris Find TO Say In
Their Papers.

From the New YORK World.l
1t was in the golden prime OF the good
Louis Philippe. when member OF the
Cabinet sent for an eminent journalist, and
when they were alone said Unto him: g See
here, would you like me to make you
chevalier Of the Legion of Honor
EYES," replied the journalist, eli can
obtain the decoration without having to DO
anything dishonorable."
Well-he didn't getit.
I. Being at cafe and desiring to pay for
his beer, guest gives the waiter 2o-franc
piece. II. The waiter promptly returns
with 10-franc gold piece, and silver Tor the
rest. III. The guest gives him back the 10
franc piece, saving, HGive me two 5-iranc
pieces for that, please" ". The waiter
rings the cold coin on the table, and says
alphabetically, "You know there are so
many counterfeits out these times that we
have to be on our guard"
Two Bohemians, one OF whom is going
to try to get himself asked to. dinner. while
his companion has not even that slender re-
source, meet on the Boulevard, growing
about the hard times.
"You needn't complain" says the Sc
cond, "perhaps you will dine tonight"
cave" replies the other, 81 may, and
vet again mayn't, whereas you know you
won't, and know what to expect, and
that's where you have the advantage OF
me-"
The frightful exactions Of the coachmen
would render industrious the most simple
mortal
On Sunday, at the sortie Of the EXPOSE
ton, q good bourgeois halls 4 coachman,
and asks him, most respectfully, 10 conduct
him to his domicile.
sit will be ten francs, my MASTER" says
the coachman, with touching familiarity.
/ "Ten francSS Listen, my friend: let US
split the difference. You get inside, and
I'll get on the box, and drive you there for
five"
The Colonel, rigid martinez, is sitting at
the window of his room, when looking out
he sees Captain crossing the barrack-yard
toward the gate. Looking at him closely,
he is shocked to observe that, the rules and
regulations to the contrary notwithstanding,
the Captain does not carry sword.
"Captain!" he calls from the window ;
"Hi, Captain; step up to my room for q
moment, will your"
The Captain obeys promptly, borrows a
sword of the officer Of the guard, the guard
room being at the foot OF the stairs, and
presents himself to the Colonel in ire.
proachable tenue.
The Colonel is somewhat surprised to see
the sword in its place, and, having to in
vent some preteXt for calling bis subordi-
nate back, says, with some confusion: II
beg your pardon, Captain; but really Eve
forgotten what it was l wanted to speak to
you about. However, it can't have been
anything very important; it'll keep. Good
morning"
The Captain sautes, departs, returns the
sword to its owner and is making OFT across
the barrack-yard, when he again comes
within the range of the ColonePs vision.
softly to himself, "How in thunder is this?
Dem #. he hasn't sword to his waist";
then calls aloud, ssCaptain Ho, Captain
one moment, please"
The Captain returns, borroWs the sword
again, mounts the stairs, and enters the
ColonePs presence. His commanding oth-
Ger stares at him intently; he has sword,
he sees it; be hears it clank.
"Captain," he stammers, growing very
hot. otis deuced ridiculous, you know,
but-ha! hai-Pd just remembered what J.
wanted to say to you, and now-ha! hal
as gone out my head again! Funny, isn't
itp Hal ha! ha! Losing my memory.
Never mind. I'll think OF it and write you.
Good morning."
The Captain salutes, departs, returns the
sword to the owner, and makes for the gate:
AS he crosses the barrack-Yard the Colonel
calls his wife to his side and says, "See that
officer out there? 2"
Eyes"
Has he got sword on?"
The Coionel,s wife adjusts her eyeglasses
upon him, scans him keeply, and says, = He
hasn't o taste OF a sword. y 4
The Colonel: g That's just where you
fool yourself. He has y ].