St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1878-04-05
Squibs.

legalized as circulating medium has
no foundation in fact.-ROme Sentinel.
The Philadelphia Bulletin finds on
one side of the new dollar fat British
girl with a tremendous bang, and on
the other hen flying off her nest
probably frightened by the bang.
The Franking Privilege-The privi-
lege of making you pay my postage
Buffalo Express.
Now plant sparrOws. Plant them
thick and deep, if you would have
rich crop of sparrow grass.-GTdphic.
Baby has begun to learn sacred bis
tory, and begs her papa to ask her
questions, just to see how wise she is.
''Well," said papa, "can you tell me
who Adam was ?o 'sThe father of all
men," "Good; and who was Eve 2"
After a moments reflection: "The
mother of all women"
The George Washington sociable, of
men who could not tell lies, was aban-
doned. The only guests who came
were two insurance agents.-ROme SEN
tiReL.
A news item says that an English
traveller in the Holy Land has discov-
cred Jacobs well. The Oil City Der
rick says: eve are glad to hear it. A
rumor has been aflOat for some time
that Jacob was dead"
Just our luck. Here are S12, 900, 900
left in Holland for the Cronk family i'll
America, and we might have married
Cronk girl once. We really intended
to, but none of her folks would consent
and she would not consent, and as they
seemed to have private sources of in
| f1,a hax Hno
outgeneralled us, and there is another
fortune gone.-ROme Sentinel.
A Vermont man gave his hens by
mistake some unslacked lime the other
day, and they all died. Naturalization
set in at once, you know.-COm. AdU.
1t is easier for needle to go through
the eye of camel than for rich old
duffer to take unto himself young wife
and escape the lunatic asylum WOr-
cester Press.
The Londonderry Journal gives the
following instance of pulpit bull : ga
clergyman preaching a sermon on death
concluded with the following observa-
tion: But even death, my brethren, so
well deserved by mankind for their
sins, the wisdom of Providence has, in
its paternal kindness, put at the end of
our existence; for only think what life
would be worth if death were at the
beginning.n
A little Elko girl surprised a company
of visitors by her knowledge of the
f Creators works. AT the dinner table,
she exclaimed: God made all this big
world in just six days. God made me
and every body else. He made mamma,
too, but he forgot to put any hair on
her head, and papa had to buy it for
her." When the mother got through
r interviewing the young miss, after the
company dispersed, the little one wished
she had been built like Il wash boiler
Elko (Neu.) Post.
A popular doctor of Utica, while es-
b cOrting young lady home the other
S evening, attempted to relieve her cough
and sore throat by giving her a trOche.
e He told her to allow it to dissolve
g gradually in her mouth. No relief was
i experienced, and the doctor felt quite
5 chargrined the next day when the lady
t sent him a trowsers button with a note
4 saying he must have given her the
(; wrong kind of troche, and might need
S this one.
e They have the tallest kind of a sensa-
Il ton at Long Branch. A years-old
!, boy, who had always been deaf and
!. dumb, died on Friday, and just before
u his last breath, spoke for the first time
: in his life, predicting that this summer
e there wOuld not be enough inhabitants
: alive in Long Branch to bury the dead.
Il 1t was hardly worth while to break
i away from his lifelong habit in order
: to be disagreeable.
J." " How is this Professor j. S. New
y, berry charges dollar admission to a
. lecture in which he says he don't know
= where men came from. Col. Ingersoll,
= on the other hand, charges seventy-five
= cents admission to a lecture in which he
tells us he don't know where we are
- going to. Will some savant have the
% kindness to tell us where we are
y y Graphic.
e Among stories told about Ben Wade
o is one to the effect that while in Wash
: ington he was accosted by a smart look
h ing negro boy who asked for money
/ with which to buy his freedom. 81
e never give money to buy slaves,n re-
piled Wade. Some Southern senators
standing near began to smile, seeing
is which Mr. Wade turned to the lad and
l. said: ''Why the devil don't you run
n away Here is ten dollars to help paw
:, your expenses. Now run cut of slavery
is the first chance you get.n The South
ar erners stared and the darkey skipped
is away with the ten dollars and a new
lie idea.