West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-05-25

saw Buah putting Jumps of sugar on a
hill To coax his hay To come up, and
heard him gleefully singing;
"Uh' VINO would be a sailor man,
And sail upon the scar
oh who would drive four-horse stage,
Or would = lawyer be1
OH who would sit I'm Congress-
Or any Office hold,
Instead ot tearing up the soil
lhe-e mornings sharp and cold
Ira la-A,
Ira la-,tc,
\" ono so happy
AZ mc-me-me"
LEAF ron HISTORY.
The first seen Cf Thomas Anderson
was at the corner Of Fort and Griswold-
streets, where he made a bargain with
boot black To show him all existing
relics Of old Detroit. He said he was a
historian, and that he was here for the
purpose of looking up certain points for
another leaf in the history of Michigan.
The boy showed him two or three bust
ness houses which never advertise. n
bucksaw once owned by Gen. Hull. n
man who can remember when the streets
of Detroit were sprinkled, and several
other ancient and valuable relics. and
before and after each relic the historian
took drink. In fact, he seemed as
much interested in the drinks az he did
in the relics. When he had smacked
his lips over the last he said To the boy
Now show me the grave of PontiacW
The boy couldn't do it, because
Pontiac forgot to be buried in this To-
cality, among other good Indians. He
could have taken the historian down To
the market and claimed that fish stall
No. + WAS located exactly over old
tulu L. 1.
boy. The historian was, however, de-
termined to pursue the search alone, and
at an advanced evening hour he en-
gagged in fight with a pedestrian on
GratiOt-avenue because the citizen
couldn't tell him in which end of the
town the battle of Waterloo was fought,
hor point out the monument marking
the last resting place of Paul Jones
Historian, what have you TO say 20
these grave charges" asked the court az
the prisoner stood before him.
" History is history" was the solemn
reply;
=" Yes, and mud is mud. have always
felt it my duty to encourage history and
make it pleasant for historians, but
don't see why they should get drunk
over their researches"
Chapter ~ will consist Of researches
in Detroit-Old fort-reics- grave OF
Pontiac" mused the prisoner as he took
out his note book"
And chapter V will be headed, " How
the author put in thirty days in the De
troit House Of CorTectionW remarked
his Honor a. he waved the man aside
OUR DEAR OLD FLAG.
Timothy ONeil is n patriot. He bas
served in one big war and in about five
hundred small ones. He loves the flag
OF his untry, and he would give his
last chew Of tobacco TO the American
eagle if the bird screamed for il. He
was walking up Grand River-avenue
when he discovered an old red handker-
chief in the gutter
"'Tis the blessed emblem Of me coun-
try which has been kicked into the ditch
IN this degrading mannerr he indip-
nantly muttered as he held IL out al
arms length. "Shall the dear old stars
and the loving stripes Of America be
thus humbled before me eyes? Never
] will shed me bloc frstW
The nearest place was shoe-shop.
Timothy entered IL and demanded why
| the shoemaker had degraded the flag Of
our Union, and the mo he demanded
the madder he got. He finally got up
row, made the shoemaker kiss the dear
old flag, collected n crowd, and walked
of between two policemen, singing:
"Tbnmp' thamp' ihumpl
The b'yes arc marching
Love Of ones flag is all right" oh.
served the court as Timothy faced the
desk, but love Of whisky to boot is a
little too much patriotism"
I'll shed me elbows blood for that
emblem ~ put in the prisoner.
" Yes; just 40. Neverthclcss, when a
patriot can't tell the difference between
an old bandana handkerchief and the
glorious stars and stripes it about time
for him TO go out Of the patriot business.
This country is all right, Timothy. All
our hags are in n healthy condition,
well protected, and you can go up for
thirty days feeling that the Union will
be here when you come out"
IL I'm sint up because T love the
| flag, then, then -r
Then you can go out Of the flag
business, Timothy, and have more time
to love the man who sets up the free
lunches. Trot along, my boy"
"Boss b."
George Jock and IemueI Jones came
out in Indian fle, and George began.
/ Who broke dat pane o. plass9 Well
/ sab, cf ] war % be hung bv de neck for
a hull day an q half, I shud still
/ declar' dat dis Iemuel Jones broke dat
| windy. He's q tricky man. boss"
/ Then Lemuel cleared his throat and
replied
Boss, you axes de GUILD foIkses Of
dis town what dey fink Of dis we're
| George Jock Jist axes 'em. boss an
sec II dey doan' tell yop dat he il de-