The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1878-12-05
FLASHES.

With dangers dark ertaSe anu toss
Them ruthlessly!
FLASHES.
A grave digger one who never
smiles.
A ssasouable iashion-pepper and
salt suits.
There's beggary in the love that can
be reckoHed.
A painful parting-with your tooth
at the dentists.
Going the round Of the press-The
girl that. waltzes:
The times that tried mems soles- Pc
destrian contests.
An unpleasant termination the be-
ginning Of the end.
A hen is not joking when she is in
'rnest-not much !
Hypoarites sink into lower abyss
than any other sinners.
The ills that come after death are
caused by the body snatcher.
.All the worlds stage, bot the fare
does not suit everybody.
A St. Louis paper calls the Indians
the "gentlemeu without hats"
An editor never makes statement
without having proof of it.
What aria is full of shakes, quavers
and tremolos the malaria.
All men are not homeless, but some
are home less than others.
In Great Britain S52,42S farmers
own less than an acre each.
The most voluminous Of authors-tht
author of his own misfortunes.
A man in Chicago sold his wife's
dead body to doctor for FIVE dollars.
1t is now we'll known the way to keeE
boys from your apples is to plant pears
The majority of mankind use thei'
first years to make their last mlsera
bic.
Advice to Illicit distillers : Render
unto sellers the things that are selz'
ers.
A Kentucky woman has married o
Mr., Calico-he welded prints, us ii
we're.
There are men so constitutionally
dull that q blister will not make them
smart.
When q man goes out Ct the poultry
business be tears the tattered hen-sigr
down.
Gan cornet players breath be called
a March winds Of course, if he plays
marches
A horrid old bachelor says that po.
litical sauabbles end where matrimonial
one sbegin-whon the "objsc" is
gained.
What gals man who has neither
employment nor fine clothes is to have
some one present him with smoking
gown worth eight dollars.
People who accept bills for their
friends are called "sursties," for this
reason, that in nine cases out of ten
they are called upon for the money.
There is said to be a law in Japan
that any woman who owns cats which
disturb her nelghbors at night shall
work year for the person disturbed.
A dy never appears to such disadvan-
tage as when he is mounted on bis
head in the centre Of your squash pie
rubbing his hind feet together in the
air:
A Nashville belle has feet that do not
match. Both are perfect in shape, but
one is a number ono aud the other a
number seven. She always puts her
best foot forward.
Among the necessities Of the age is a
moustache garter fitting over the nose to
keep the hair on mans upper lip from
crawling to the bottom Of the spoon
every time he attempts to eat soup.
An artist undertook to caricature
some of the new bonnets that are just
making their appearance, but his pic
lures we're such sensible Improvements
on the prevailing styles that he has
given up in despair.
Three years ago young man grad
mated from the West Point Military
Academy and came West. His soul
was flied with grand, lofty aspirations,
and h. sought in the uutroddsn fields
Of activity IN the mighty West room for
his soaring genius to plume Itself for
fight. lie braced his feet as he pre-
pared to shake the globe. To-day he is
the travelling agent for Clucnnaltl
,orsaf factory