The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1878-05-19
THE POET or THE TOME.
How @. wash. Chiid.. A. Va. UtiIi<ss the
Photograph

t-houOWfhph
PHILADELPHIA, May Isl have Just re-
turned from visit to the Public Ledger build
ing. and nm inspection Of the new scientific
appliances introduced thereby g. Wash. Childs.
A. NJ. am deeply impressed with the admira-
BILE manner in which the great obituary bard
has been ahle to utilize tho scientific wonder OF
the day In giving permanent expression to tho
emotions Of his breast in the instant Of its most
tumultuous upheavas.
The Led01's columns are always full OF obit-
uary poetry. and no tG. Wash. Childs. A. NJ
might make great deal OF money by II. but for
the fact that at prcsent-it used to lbs other
wlsc-he only charges for the space occu-
pied by the verse In the Ledoe''s columns. with
noble generosity furnishing tho poetry itself
| priceless as II s--withnut extra charge. But no
| poet can long continue to spin his brains into
verse Mt the rate VI half column per diem.
which is about the average demand for his
| lines. and consequently Mr.. Chil,ls has written
| good many obituaries in the shape of nppro-
! pirate vcrscs"-that is to say. verses couched in
| such general terms that they may bo applied TO
several occasions. and often repeated. with al
| tcrations mnde to suit the age ana sex ana sur
| embalmed When Il special Occasion arises. and
| when Mr. Childs IL in hs private office ana IN
| the mood, he furnishes now composition so
| touching in It's primitive sweetness, 80 impress
| sive in its noble simplicity. that Y Is ~ once
caught up and plagiarzed IN all the obituary
|
| But upon ordinary occasions. when there IS
a degth in, u family anywhere within reach OF
| the Public Ledger one OF the mourners Mt onco
| PUSHES of to the great newspaper establish.
| ment to secure space for the notice in the next
| issue The clerks in the Office understand what
is required OF them. and they take the notice.
| observe tho circumstances 81 the deceased. his
| or her age. residence. Be-. and, making mod
crate charge ttcn cents lincl for the insertion
| md the space occupied. inscribe in rod chalk
under. the death notice cabnistic sign, thus:
-sIepmitying appropriate verses -" by
These prciminarles despatched, the obituary
| Il put upon tho dumb waiter and whrled up
stairs to the composing room. where il falls
| into the custody of the obituary department.
special compostor being detached from the
general stan OF the Office whose exclusive duty
and sacred function it is to set w Mr.. Childs's
verses. This cOmpositor who always dresses
OF inspiring countenancc and Of the most ele-
| waited imaginings, caught from his incessant
lis name is Theophiius Bland. and he does
nothing but take Mr. Childss poetry into his
keeping. set it W. and select appropriate
ries.e In hi" businesses Of selecting he has
acquired singular facility. and. i may
lending obituary poems to tho condition Of
| " fat" and keeps from six 10 seven columns Of
them always ready for service upon a stand
| perfect and so comprehensive that there II
scarcely Christian name OF either sex. or an
| age from birth to one hundred. but he can At
| once lay hands upon the appropriate verses. and
give YOU a,proof Of them Tor immediate com
|
Dearest Willie, thou hast lenus.
Mr.. Bland keeps on hand always one hundred
and NIFTY separate forms. running through the
phadRS from Desrssi A6bs to zs suit Abb
Only persons DEVOID OF reason and reflection
will venture TO call this arrangement machine
poetry. Ii is not that ut all but instead OF that.
the machinery Of poetry, n lalor-saving con-
irivance. rs Legitimate IN its uses and as appro-
PIRATE In its application as that invention OF the
late Hiram Powers for measuring. the human
stature or the mechanical mask of the sculptors
generally for getting the precise lneaments OF
One would fancy that this system was ms per-
feet as could be devised. but have now 70 re-
count to you the melancholy accident which has
recently driven Mr. Childs to bring into his
service the latest and most astounding develop
mcnis Of modern science-to employ the tcle-
phone and the photograph. Theophilus Bland
tho obituary comppSitOr. was absent at fune-
raj. In BANDS absence. tho composition, wnc
does the markets. was appointed to supply his
place. A death notice came up from the coun-
ter Thifn Te99 as 99ws ,co, -
6monihs" and inscribed in red chalk. A. v.
fractions OF figures. and not accustomed to Sc
Letting appropriate verses. read the figures
columns OF fat in hand, made his selections
and set up the notice rs follows;
William "int' ylo',om. aged = years and months
; o Geny to the earth,
After his birth.
, Flsxen his lock.
And iair was his brow.
3 wt'ys no Willie now.
The proof readers and foreman OF the Ledger
office, knowing Bland scrupulous eractness II
selecting and arranging Mr.. Chids's poetry
and aware that all appropriate VERSES arr
tat," took the accuracy Of the notice Tor grant
ed. and the night editor. absorbed by NOR
important matters only scanned the obltuaric
IN the most hurried manner 10 see whether Mr.
Childs had any new verses in them. As tn
above verses were familiar To him. and. indeed
among ms ihVorlte selections, ne naturally rs
sumed that il was all right and So it happene'
| that the notice, as given above, appeared IN TIT
; | next mornings Ledger.
, The friends and acquaintance Of the veneer
able Mr.. William Winterbottom were naturally
incensed. and they rushed to eApostulate VIII
= and demand satisfaction from the innocen
, poet. They said that II was simply an insult 4
!, the memory Of this deceased. after such lon
and useful life. to assert tina: that life had ende
. only season after his birth that they hn
| paid for the insertion OF appropriate vera u
and. instead OF that. had been given tho mos
inappropriate verses IN the world; that 1t wa
genilemen whose head was bald IA a blliar,
. ball and who had worn a velvet skull cap TO
D that to call his brow fair" when his wrinkle
were one of his most noticeable features mus
have been meant for rioaldry hot-hende
o | nephew. a chief mOurnrr and expectant he'll
wrote to Mr.. Chids that he had stout cudse
, ready.
our poet is well known TO be person OF til
I most tender heart. Next to his euilelcssness
: his supreme desire To avoid giving offence I
the susceptbilities OF any person. He mad
: greved relatives OF the venerable William Win
| terbottom. whose grave he promised to suppl
= with the choicest flowers in his conservatory
engaging ut the same time to write copy q
0 new and original varses for his tombstone
q | Having thus pacined the persons injured b
this unlucky contretemps. Mr.. Childs proccede
to guard against future mistakes. He dis
| missed the luckless market compositor repri
4 manded Theophllu Bland frowned upon tn
!, night editor. and gave orders that henceiol
j ward all obituary notcrs should be brought I
G | him to read in proof. His reputation MS n poe
4 as well ns his feelings rs u kind-hearted. wei
~ meaning man. demanded this.
The columns of " fat, were redistrlbute(
10 and for some time. Mr.. Chids himself edite
A the obituary column. which overlooked wit
=, new appropriate verses" OF the loftiest ton
u and most touching sweetness The strain Z
+ this however added to his multifarious Othe
= duties, WAS too much even for tho poets rObu,
temperament and his friends and physician
D warned him that he was breaking down undo
: tho too great pressure. He became abstracte
n and distraught, and 1t was noticed that even
u his moments OF relaxation he would DO mul
u muring new vorses to himself
q Try the photograph" said his physician;
a II you can work that, your verses, Just as yo
. delivered them. will be perpetuated, and theI
J. can be no more mistakes"
i The hint WAS seized upon at once by Nj
II Childss fertile brain. and | am exposing n
" secrets when / inform you that the obltuaI
II department OF the Public Ledger is now run /
rbnnnrrapb autirply Instead Of tla oil