Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1878-04-03
A Bald Headed Man.


i Ifhe man who has u bald head Is TO
be commlserated, ="
0 Every change Of season brings him
! grief In cold weather no has TO seek
refuge by night II nlghtcap in
' warm weather his bald spot II the
L chosen playground aud gymnasium
] for tho flies They hold high carnival
on its polished convexlly, aud turn
NummerSaulls, aud execute trapcze
, movements, aud stand on their heads,
and buzz In q aelfaatisded, secure
sort Of tone as II they were saying to
t their victim, "Slap away, old fellow !
you cant hit rs you haven't got
eyes In tho top your head like us !"
The bald'hcaded man ia a psomin.
cnt object in church, or in crowd of
any kind, where custom DEGREES the
removal OF the hat. One can no moro
avoid seeing his shining Uranium,
than he can avoid seeing a bright light
in dark night, even when he is not
looking at it.
lIc lis always. described rs bald,
headed, Inquire about him Of u
stranger, and he willtell you that "you
cannot miss Of finding Jones--he is
very bald !"
A young man with a baId.hcad, il
he be sensitive, is continually in hot
water When he meets young lady
who takes ais fancy captive, how care
iul he is always to keep his face tow.
ard her. and how the cold sweat of
apprehension istartS out on his tore
head, when she gets behind him, and
he knows her "doye.like eyes Of
heavens own azure" are engaged in
studying his bald spot .
At lectures and concerts particu.
larry at theatres, where the elevation
Of dress circle, lamily.circle and gal.
larry afford such excellent opportunity
for observation, the bald-headed man
is always nervous aud uncomfortable,
lie knows that il the impudent little
gamias in the gallery do not throw
peanut shells at his bald crown, 1t is
not because they do not want to, or
because they do not fully understand
what capital target it would make,
and when the sigglng young lady in
the first circle drops her play-bill on
his head, it is hard for him to believe
it was purely accidental on her part.
And as he sits and revolvcs the
mater over, how indignant he feels
against the fashion which compels 4
man to sit bare-headed in a crowd,
while it allows a woman to invest her
money IN two pounds of chignon, and
an ounce of lace and feathers, by
which all defects in the upper story
are concealed
For if a woman be bald-headed, no
body is the wiser for it, and so long as
the present style of female hair dress
ing continues, it is just as unlikely to
be discovered as the source of the
Nile, or the precise location Of the
poles
Your bald-headed man especially
breads to make calls where there are
children. He does not like 10 be ask
ed, "if he varnishes his head like ma
does her boots" and "it he is not
afraid his brains will freeze" and ''it
he won't let me and Tommy draw the
map of Europe on it cause he's just
to draw maps, and this will
be so jolly!
The bald headed man of old had
rouble with the boys, you will re-
but the young rascals met
With summary punishment, and we
lave no dbubt but the bald-headed
nan of the nineteenth century wonld
eioice ifthere were bears provided to
'at up all the boys who jeer at their
ffiiction We are sure we should, if
We were a bald-headed man - Kate
horn, in N. Y. Weekly.