The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1878-09-07
NUMBER 81.
. PASSING SMILES.

| NOTIsS one thing. The man who
rides on the kars every day is satisfied
with one seat; but the man who rides
once in a year wants at least four
Josh Billings.
A LADY, who attended several public
dinners, wants to know why the chair
man can never propose the toasts OF the
evening without regretting that 1t was
not placed in ADLER hands.
A RIpGEFIELp man has invented
chair which can be adjusted to eight
thousand different positions. 1t is de-
signed for boy to sit in when having
his hair cut.--DonbWy Ne,cs.
A SNOWY, dimpled cloud tossed into
all kinds of fantastic shapes is an en-
chanting sight. 1t is delicious; but,
at the same time, it can't hold candle
to plate of fish balls Puck.
Ir is related of converted gambler
who attended prayer-meeting which
was held in gambling saloon that
he wished to cry "Amenp and said
Kenop This must be a story.
The Prince of Wales was lately on a
visit to Bristol. After his departure
the following advertisement appeared
| in local newspaper: "The comb used
by his Royal Highness, the Prince of
Wales, last Friday, is for sale. Apply
to -, hairdresser, - street, Bristol"
AN old Irish soldier who prided him.
self upon his bravery, said he had fought
in the battle of Bull Run. When asked
if he had retreated and made good his
escape, as others did on that famous
occasion, he replied, Re jabers,. those
that didn't run are there yitW-N Y.
Nail.
A DOWNTOWN resident, native to the
land which gave Bismarck birth, re-
marked to young man, supposed to be
seriously attentive to a very handsome
niece, " Dot fellers' vixed He's got
um pad. He make dot gal present ov
ring nit dose acknowledgement
flowers on"
THERE is something inexpressibly
thrilling in the sound of bell at mid
night, filling the soul with strange and
gloomy fances, more particularly II
your mother-in-law said, before leaving,
that if you we're not in by ten you
might stay out the rest of the night, as
the door would be locked.
The new style OF gents hat is decid
Gully bOnY. ~ IN uituS VI khaDt-
like material, rs transparent as mosquito
netting, and has high, stiff, round top,
through which the head shows. On
bald-headed man the effect is exhil-
arating, reminding the observer of
wire cover over ball Of butter.
DoG-sELLER-" That ere mammals
the real stock, mum, and dogcheap at
five pounds" Young widow" It's
sweet, pretty darling, black and white;
but, in my present state of bereavement,
you procure me one entirely black.
This will do very well for half-mourning
in about six months. "-English Paper.
MOMENT.
When the lightning flashes by night,
The raindr0ps seem
million jewels of light
In the moments geam
And often in gathering fears
a moment OF love
To Jewels will turn the tears
That 1t cannot remove
II ". Bouydinon
"Now, then, madam, please look
steadily at this place on the wall !" said
a photographer to an old lady, when he
had put her in position and the plate in
the camera. The old lady looked hard
at the spot indicated, then got up and
walked across the floor and infinitely
inspected it, and then, turning to the
photographer, gently remarked, 81 don't
see any thing there."--N Y. Post.
DANBURY rejoices this season fer the
first time in its history in perambu-
lating ice-cream cart. 1t is a conven-
fence, without doubt, but the cry OF the
vendor after ten p. m. is rather disturb
ing to the party who is trying to get to
sleep, as most of us are at that hour.
Another drawback, and mighty seri-
GUS one, is to have him come around in
front of the house of the man who has
ten or twelve guests spending the even
! ing with him, and who has only half
dollar in his pocket. To such man
the cry of the ice-cream vendor, and 1T
is unusually loud before such house,
is most appalling sound.-Danbury
| Neps.
A CLERGYMAN said that he once
visited a lady of his parish who had
lust lost her husband in order to offer
her consolation, and upon her earnest
inquiries as to the reunion of families
in heaven, he strongly asserted his belief
| in that fact, when she asked with anxiety
whether any time must elapse before
friends would be able to find each other
in the next world, he emphatically said,
"No! they will be united at once" He
was thinking of the happiness of being
able 10 offer the relief of such faith,
when she broke in upon his meditations
by exclaiming, sadly, "Well, his first
,oiite has got him, then, By this time r.
A SAN FRANCISCO correspondent Of
the Baltimore Sun relates the following
curious inf rmation concerning animal
superstition: "Mules are much used
here for pack goods over mountains
impractical for wheels. They are driven
loose, often twenty in lot. To pre-
vent straying, white horse with bell
is put in the lead. The herd accepts
his lead; they listen for his bell and
never stray. But put colored horse
| in his place and he is not noticed. Put
any kind of fellow mule there and they
treat him with contempt. This dogged
superstition seems founded on some
dogma to which all mules are welded.
If your team passes, on dark night, q
white horse at pasture, they are sure to
snuff ghost, snort, tremble and be OF. !"
"WHAr is the defendants character
for truth and veracity?" asked Maine
LAWYER of a.witness. oval, now, squire,