The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1878-08-01
WtT ANDHUM0R.

AS tWlS is bent the boy is inclined.
Servant (after situation)----..A An do
yeZ go to Long branch or Newport
For me own part, have no prifer-
enceS -
The World says the deaf mute sig
nal for beer simply repeated for two
beersl is Tapping of the hands cross
ed at the wrists.
Everywhere man is. there is sor-
row.. says an exchange. Which
makes woman always like to be
where there is sorrow, we presume.
\ boy at school on being asked to
describe a kitten. "A kitten is re-
markable for rushing like mad at
nothing whatever.and stopping before
it gets there.
An experienced farmer opines that
tina man who can plow stumpy ground
with pair of lively mules without
swearing is prepared to go through
purgatory with an over coat on.
I'VE never saw a man. says an
steal an umbrella. .3fRen you never
saw IA man whose umbrella had just
been stolen.
We observe that the Washing
tonians are teaching the young idea
how to shoot. One little girl Of the
Capitol city has just succeeded in
shooting another little girls nose off.
\ gentleman who ought to know,
says the reports about the wonderful
cave recently discovered in Kentucky
are greatly exaggerated. 1t is pref
ty little cavern, and that is all.
Emmett, the actor. wrote to the
Clipper that the blow he lately
received OH his nose cured him Of
catarrh, from which he had suffered
fifteen years. and that he thinks his
voice Is improved.
One can sit dOwn.in chair on Coney
Island beach at ten cents per hour.
The object in sitting down is to
patronize a poor but worthy man. who
lost his eyes while trying to lick
school teacher.
Puck Sun: There is nothing that
SO takes the starch out of young
married man. who has been welded
about a year, as to have to go to a
store where there is girl clerk that
he used to keep company with, and
inquire for those large sizes safety
pins.
Josh Billings. in geological
moment, writes: 1.-The popularity Of
the fly is that he returns to the same
spot: but it is Characteristic Of the
mosquito that he returns to another
spot. Thus he differs from the leopard
which does not change its spots.
This is an important fact in natural
history"
A city young lady visiting Bridg-
port. having witnessed the pedestrian
feats Of Miss Won Hitler. started ont
the other evening to walk four miles
in one hour. After proceeding
quarter Of a mile she saw toad in
the road. and with scream Of alright
turned around and retraced her
steps. The best lime was made in
going home.
An old bachelor, picking up book,
exclaimed, upon seeing wood-cut
representing man kneeling at the
feet Of woman. Before ] would
ever kneel to woman would encir-
Gle my neck with rope and stretch
it," And then, turning to a young
woman. he inquired, do you not
think it would be the best thing ]
could dol lit would, undoubtedly
be the best for the woman
Paris has found its absolutely latest
sensation in man who, for cOnsid-
cradle wager. has led on foot, from
Komorantjn to Paris, herd Of fifty
ltHrps fweufy.ffyp 0f each epx
Though the animals had been care
fully trained, he had good deal Of
trouble with them, and usually tray
eled BY night. Encouraged by his
success. he now proposes to conduct
his flock round the exposition 1t the
hour when IL II most throngcd, with