The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1878-05-09
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.

| = NOrtn CarOllna mas Lwenty-tnree
cotton growing counties.
-Godliness promotes the material vel
fare of all communities.
| - There 10 said to, be very large fall
ing off in the sugar and rice crops Of
Louisiana this year.
Thanksgiving is good" said the
venerable Phillip Henry to his children;
"but Thanksgiving is better"
Three things that never agree-two
cats over one mouse two wives in one
house; two lovers after one girl.
| -"I am thy fathers spirit" as the
bottle said to the little boy when he
found it hidden under. the wood-pile.
| l.l.- Kindness is the music of good will
to men /; and on this harp the smallest
fingers may play heavens sweetest tune
on earth.
The more we practice virtue theIdear-
er it becomes, as two friends love each
other the more, the more they know
each other.
- Greatness stands upon precipicei
and if prosperity carry a man ever
so little beyond his poise, it ioverbears
and dashes him to pieces.
| = a negro once gave the following
toast: ode late Guberner of de State
him come in wild berry little opposition;
him 90, out wild none at ALL"
= The Democratic State Convention
will be held in Texas June 19. The war
between the Hubbard and Throckmorton
elements is very fierce. e', .,s-
-. Notwithstanding her bull-fghting
proclivities, San Antonio, Texas, seems
to flourish. She has built 552 houses
within the past ten months.
- The number of stamps at work in
the gold fields of Georgia a year ago was
ITO; now they number 273, producing
about $4,000 in gold per month.
| = The Supreme Court of Alabama has
decided that doctor may be summoned
as awitness, and be made to give med
ical opinion without compensation.
| Speaking of dancing, clergyman
hits the nail on the head with the re-
mark that people usually do more evil
with their tongues than with tkeir toes"
Why is q dandy like a mushroom
Because he is, a regular sap-head, his
waist is remarkably slender, bis growth
is exceedingly rapid, and his top is un-
commonly tender. '.;
- The Potomac fisheries are this sea-
son almost an utter failure, not only in
the shad and herring catch, but of rock,
perch and cat fish, all of which are be-
I coming scarce.
--"Have you Chaucer2" asked a
young lady, looking in at book Store.
The polite young clerk replied, no he
never used it but there was tobacconist
Ijust two doors above.
- a tramp called at a house the other
day and asked for something to eat. He
was SO thin, he said, that when he had
pain he couldn't tell whether it was
touch of the collie or the backache.
- Tennessee makes her convicts profit
able TO the State, receiving for her peni-
tentiary lease $40, 900 O. year, and about
$4,000 for expenses of transportation of
convicts from places of conviction to
prison.
"My DEAR" said the sentimental
Mrs. Waddles, "home, you know, is the
said the practical Mr.. Waddles, "it does
cost me about twice as much as any other
spot" - -.
~ Mr.. A. E. Miller, Of Almanac fame,
was SO years old last Saturday, still
hearty and hale. living in Charleston.
Mr.. Miller has been SIS years a Mason,
and is now the oldest living printer in
the United States.
"Wife," said tyrannical husband
to his much-abused consort, II wish you
to make me pair of false bosoms." II
should think" replied his wife, "that
one bosom as false Us yours is would be
sufficient" Exit husband in brown
study. ... a4a
=" "Madam," said cross-tempered
physician to a patient, eff women were
admitted to paradise, their tongues
would soon make it purgatory." "And
some physicians, if allowed to practice
there" said the lady, "would soon make
it a DESERT
-"What's de time O. day, ole'oman?"
said colored countryman to Aunt Mil
ly, yesterday, trying to poke fun at the
brass chain that held her front door key
around that young lady's neck. "Look
at de town clock, chile. OATS built for
po' folks"
No habit is more offensive or more
utterly useless than profanity. 1t never
did any man the lesst good. No man is
the happier or richer or wiser for it. It
commends no one to society. 1t is dis
gusting to the refined; abominable to
the good insulting to those with whom
we associate; degrading to the mind;
improbable, needless, and injurious to
society.
= If death by drowning be inevitable,
as in a shipwreck, the easiest way to die
would be to suck water into the lungs by
o powerful inspiration, as soon as one
went beneath the surface. A person who
had courage to do this would probably
become almost Immediately unconscious,
and never rise to the surface. AS soon as
the fluid filled his lungs, all feelings Of
chilliness and pain would cease, the in
describable semi-delirium that accom-
panies anasthesia would come on, with
ringing in the ears and delightful visions
of color and light, while he would seem
himself to be gently sinking to rest on
the softest of beds and with the most de-
lightful of dreams.
The heat, all through the Southern
Hemisphere and Pacific Islands, the past
three or four months, has been almost
unprecedented. We read of great suf-
fering and even deaths among the inhab-
itants from this cause. All the great
rivers were fast drying up, and stool,
were suffering for water. Their summer
and our winter seem to have been very
similar, though the heat with US has been
more moderate. At Bourke, South Aus
tralia, the thermometer reached 1922 III
the shade on the 18th of January, and in
some parts of the interior it went up to
145o in the sum- We can family realize
such frightful temperature when We re-
member that water boils at 2l20. The
people console themselves with the fact
that heat is not the only thing that has