The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1878-10-24
FLASHES.

4 fraudulent bond-a Tagabond.
The song of the top-Hum again.
The bookkeeper's..is figure head.
TIE best time on record Lunch
time. D..
What playtbiug is above every other ?
The top. >. - -
sopg.ofthe cheese. "Will you love
me when I mold % ~.
The fa7orite flower for fortune hun
ers-Marrygold. --....-- =
The best way to spell a Russian or
Polish namstis to sneeze three times
andsay, 'ski" i & /.
There is man in Washington the
most powerful in the country. He ear
ries horse scar on his cheek.
Who was the strsightest man men.
toned in the Bible ? = Joseph because
Pharaoh made a "ruler'' Of him. D.
Ola barber's shop: that was formerly
o law Office, tho paper says..the people
get shaved there just the same.
Some people are like green Holsters
they never know when to let go when
You shake hands with them.
A mule will behave himself eleven
years and six months just toget one f.
hand shot at o middle shirt-stud. ~.
The brewery Of trouble does not pro.
duce beer. But the imbibiug of too
much beer sometimes brews trouble. g..
The worst thing about mosquito ia
its long soliloquy as TO when and where
he had better settle down aud bite.
Soliloquy by tipler The public al
ways notices when you have been
drinking, and never when you are
thirsty. ...' ........ ~,
Fashionable mother: "Maria, I'm
almost discouraged; how many times
have I told you not to say tater, but
pertater." ....Ha.,.: ......
"A coroper's verdict reads thus: The
deceased came to his death by excessive
drinking, producing appoplexy in the
minds of the Jury
A clergyman writes: "a young
woman died in my neighborhood, ysster-
day while ] was preaching, in beastly
state of intoxication." ..... .....-..
There q man living in Cook county,
Texas, who boasts Of a set Of furniture
made from 4 tree on which bis father
was hung ten years ago. -.....,
. Have you read the tail ofthe BE- n,
bio Bee = asked George Of Sarah Jspe.
NO., she said. turning the color Of red
paint; but I've felt 'en. ..-.... !
A Bowery tailor advertises: 'Gentle-
men furnishing their own cloth will he
trinmed and made to order at the
shortest possible notice" "
a Western paper says "A child was
run over by wagon three years old,
and crosseyedr with pantlets on, VIII ich
never spoke afterwards" ,
"Bedad ! Look at the baste, sid his
two toothpicks stickin' out er his mont !"
was how the 6rst sight Of an elephant
affected Bridget Muldoon.
you want q fogging; that's what you
WANT said q parent to his unruly soD,
4 know it dad, but I'll try to get along
without it, replied the brat. e.
The grand and awful difference be-
tween o tree and bore is-hurtah,
now the tree leaves in spring, and
the bore, why, he never leaves. =,
O'Leary, who won the recent walk
ing match, IS thoroughbred. He is.
said to be a.son Of the Mrs 0Leary
whose COW kicked Chicago into blas les.
A green sportsman, after frui.le
tramp. met boy With tears ln bis eyes
and said, Il say, youDgster, is there any
thing to shoot around here ? The boy
answered, 'Nothin' just bout here, but
there's the schoolmaster t'oher side the
hill. I wish you'd shoot himv
1t is not good for a man to be alone
under any circumstances, but when be
falls in ten-foot cellar on bis way
home at two o'clock in the morning, he
feels that the compauiouship of even a
step-laddsr would add wonderfully to
the comfort Of the occasion.
The time will come when you won't
have to leave your seat at the the
aIre between acts to 60 out and "see
man." Edison is experimenting on
waves of,ight sent through the tele-
phone, and says that "before q year |
will make you see man q thousand
Rihs uway.S