The Findlay Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Hancock County, Ohio) 1870-1881, 1878-08-23
Wif and Dnnror.

"Bedad.' md if its nothing We want"
said Pat, ''yell foind it in the bottle
where the whisky was" no.. WI
What did you get?" asked wife of
her husband, on his return from a
hunting excursion of several days dura-
ton. Il got back" he sententiously
replied.
The will of Mr. Land late of Kentucky,
ledyes all his property TO his wife, and
specifies that she can marry again if
she wants to-" And yet people sing of
a land that is flirer than this. -
1t strikes US that in the "bright here
after when the angels sing" there will
be front orchestra chair reserved for
the man who shall have devised
4noiseless drum" rs Christmas present
for boys here below.
An Irishman remarked to a compan-
ion, on observing lady pass, "Pat, did
you ever see so thin woman as that
before?' "Thinl" replied the other,
"botherashuni I've seen one rs thin as
two, Of her put together, I have zsv,
"Thurlow Weed did not even know
Bryant by sight This is quite coin
cidence. We are in the same fix. And
further, we don't even know Anderson
by sight-and don't want to know him
by darn sight-NouristOseB Herald.
There may be beauty in a rose; there
may be rapture in listening to music
floating over silent waters; there may
be loveliness all around, but a man sell
dom pays much attention to them while
he is breaking in a new pair of boots.
\ poor Chicago widow committed
suicide the other day because she
wanted to go to meet her husband"
She is perhaps sorry by this time that
she didn't inquire more particularly
which way he went before she started.
A young lady at ball in Dublin
Castle, displayed her charms so freely
that locker on turned to Chief Justice
Doherty with "Did you ever see the
like of that since you were born?"
aWell," said the Judge, certainly not
since was weaned."
According to that wicked sheet the
Ne,cs Letter, there is girl in Santa
Barbara with such big mouth that the
other day when she smiled at q fellow
on the street, a kind hearted little boy
exclaimed with great earnestness: "LoOk
out Miss, your lids coming OFF, e l-.
A distinguished politician, while con-
yersing with lady the other evening,
became piqued by her attention to q
beautiful dog that was resting its head
confding in her lap and impatently
asked, How is it that q lady of your
intelligence can be so fond of q dog?'-.
because he never talks politics" was
the prompt reply I2A
Edison married a factory girl, ten
minutes after asking her to be his wife.
Then he went down to the factory and
worked all night ON a new invention.
forgetting all about being married till
one Of the boys called his attention to
the fact. He is as absent minded as the
minister who blew the foam off glass
of wafer in the pulpit before taking a
drink.-PcE's Sun.
The story is told of a clergyman that
after preaching an interesting sermon
on THE Recognition Of Friends in
Heaven" he was accosted by q hearer
who said: II like that sermon, and ]
now wish you would preach another on
the recognition of people in this world.
L. have been attending your church
three years, and not five persons in the
congregation have as much as bowed to
me in all that timel" e -.u