Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1878-03-07
Vol. XIV. Whole No. 1857. No. 10.
Nasby on Silver.

THE SILVER QUESTION AT THE CORNERS
| -BAsCoM PREPARES FOR THE EXPECTED
RUSH OF SILVER.
amt so certain that | want the silver
bill to pass ez l WIZ. The fact Is, the
thing don't work ez | sposed it wood, and
| amt cleer onto 1t. There is suttle prin-
ciples In these finanshel questions VIII ich
there is9underlying principles wch man
hez got to understand afore he is compe-
tent to set hissef up ez authority.
One thing | am certin nv. Bascom amt
| on fnanseer, nor never will be, and told
him so.
"wat Is fnarseer ?" asked he
"A .finsnseer," sed /, assooming the
look of Dan' Webster. sis man wich kin
pay his debts with nothin-a man wch kin
git suithin with pothingn
The Corners. then, is full NV finanseers,"
be remarkt. bitterly, casting casual
| glance at his slate. wich WIZ list full enuf
to turn over ana oegiu Uu the tvth,r side.
But he hezen't any Nv the science of it.
| | was argooiDg with him the other day In
| favor NV my noshun NV a leather currency,
though / told him silver wuz much the
same thing, and, for example, | would as
SOON that silver wuz to be the currency of
the fucher.
Now, don't yoo see. Bascom, that ef
| twict ez much whiskey. and pay for itF''
How much is twiSe nothn?" wuz the
| unteeling anser Nv the tyrant who holds
| the destiuies NV the Corners In his hands.
That's wot yoor capital hez bin ever sense
| knowd yoo.
"Parson," sed be. II don't see what
| earthly difference It's goin to make wheth-
er silver is currency or anything else.
Howare 700 goin to git silver ei IL is
made legal-tender3 Efsilver waz ez plenty
ez bricks, wat hev 700 got to git any Nv
1t witha "
"Iroo, g. W., wuZ my answer; "but
can't you see that to hev silver wood re-
leeve the dettor class? Even now. afore
1t is legal tender, It's only wuth 81 cents
on the dollar, and. when the country is
| flooded with it, il will so still lower. Then
we-or rather sich NV us eZ hev property
to raise money on-kin pay Off"
"Eggsactly So" retorts Bascom; "you
| kin pay me for the good. honist likker Nv
niue, wich yoo have corsoomed, in coin
wich is less than the dollar you promised.
! All rite. But look here-come in here, all
NV yoo. | want you silver men to know
exactly what you are rnshin' into"
| And this feend led US into the back room
that back room wich contains the sub
sistence NV the Corners. There, in long
rows, WIZ Bascons stock. There, in bar
/ rils, piled one on top Nv another. wuz the
delishus whisky Nv Louisville, NV different
ages, rangln from that NV two weeks old
! to that which he'd jlst left the still, and was
/ scarcely cold yt. There il lay, and 8 my
eye ragged afieckshupately over it. | felt.
| ef | Good hev the drinking NV all that lik-
ker, | wood be content to lay down and
die, when the last drop wuz gone.
! Bascom pnted To an immens tank wIch
! h.h h.,l yyith hir F.aNU xrfF
pipe runnin in from the roof.
II shan't raise the price OF likker, in con-
sekence NV being paid for it in Il depres-
| hiatd currency" sed he.
fell on Bsscon's neck IN an eXtacy NV
delite, while the others shouted 'Rah for
7 Bascom.'
sc. w" remarkt, while tears suffoo
ed my eyes. Il never placed goo much be-
low the angels, but this generus act has
hlsted you hundred per cent, in my esti
mashun. Bless 700, g. W, bless yoo."
But III tell you wat | shei do. DO yoo
see lhaJ laQk: . .asd hss 40 900. .s,u.
That tank will I'll with rane-water."
sed he. The moment 700 git TO payin
me in silver shell take out Nv eeeh NV
them barrils jist eggsackly three and one
hrths gallons Nv liAker, and MI il Hith
| tcdter."
''Merciful hevings!" we all exclaimed,
"and yoor likker so week nowE'
And when silver gifts down to seventy
five cents ON the dollar, | shei take out
twenty five per cent Nv whiskey. and fill
her up with twenty five per cent, Nv wa
ter. And so on down. FL silver goes up,
| shell add whiskey egesackIy in proper
shen. In short, my whiskey is jist agOiu
TO foller currency, and nothifl shorter.
Yoo fellers which work for wages may
swet, but | won't"
But WOOL increase the size Wv yoor
glasses?' sed |.
Not any. But 700 may drink twice ez
many times 10 GIT the same amount Nv
drink ez before, by payin tor eech drink.
And Bascom stalsed hawtily back, and
took his posshen behind his bar.
Their wuz consternashun 10 the Corners
sich ez | hev never seen. Their wnz
hurried cousultashen OF the Deckiu's
house. and seje.ted that we emancipate
ourselves from the dominyun NV this ty-
rant by startn grosery Nv our own. on
the joint stock principle, which wuz
greed to, each man agreein to contrlbbit
ten dollars to the capltie stock, wlch wood
be enuf to buy bafl or two, for a begin
min.
We wuz enthusiastic till we come to
balotin for the man TO Keep the place,
when Ii wuZ found instid OF my bein
CHOSEN yoonanlmously, eZ egyspeetfu 10
be, that every man he'd votid tor hisseif.
Ez not a soul of em would Tecede, the
skeem wuz blocked rite there, and tnelly
he'd to be abandoned, and we went back
to Bascom's aud subnittid. That tyrant
heZ us
Wv course we can't stand llkker dtiootid
in that manner. We are wllin enntf 10 di-
loot the currency with which we pay tor
i likker, but we want our likker full strength.
We coodent help it. but that mite We sign
ed and sent to our representative Il 1e-
moustraucc agin the silver bill. The Cor
ners is now for a honest currency. Wood,
o Wood that we he'd some NV it,