The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-10-17
SUNBEAMS.

render.
Suitable uniform for conductors Uni
from politeness.
What popular cry fully describe an in
cipient moustache ?-"Down, in front"
A Whitehall young mans sweetheart
having "soured on him." he now calls her
his sweet tart. Whitehall Times.
A Baltimore man has invented new
paper colllr which he calls the Worm, be-
cause it will turn.
When two girls meet they KISS When
two young men meet, they don't. That
shows who wants kissing the worst.
People who attempt to cut boarding
house pie-crust with a fork should remem-
Der that time thrown away can never be
recalled.
"Whats the matter with your eye, Tom
my ?" 80 it's only been going through
an operation at the hands of knockulist;
that's all"
Old Deacon Dobson always boasted that
he was prepared for the worst, and his
neighbors thought he got it when he mar
ried his second wife.
The man who leaves two-thirds of cigar
in dark nook on the front stoop when he
goes to see his girl will make thrifty hus-
band.
A little boy came to his mother recently
and said, 'Mamma, / should think if l was
made of dust should get muddy inside
when l drink"
The phonograph is like the small brother
of young lady. 1t will repeat everything
said in its presence without regard to
bushes.
Danbury has man who can write
the Declaration of Independence on
wart. He divides with the wart the honor
of the performance. .-DanbuIy Neus.
1t turns out that man in Michigan
who 'Hived forty days on water" had
plenty of provisions in his boat all the
while lie was sailing around the lake.
A strolling theatrical company was at
the dinner-table. A waiter approached one
of the members and said: Soup" mo,
+ sir" replied the guest, "I am one of the
musicians"
Widow DouEleton, having read that
G "parlor matches" are extremely dangerous,
has ordered her daughter to take her beau
! into the kitchen and do their courting there
J.; hereafter.
They tell of an amateur sportsman in
- Dayton, Ohio, who, having heard that
there was an unusual abundance of mush-
rooms in the woods, borrowed o dog
. and took his gun aid started to Kill some.
''England, sir England rules the seas;
:. Britannia rules the waves" pompously
e remarked an Englishman to an American.
v "That's nothing" was the reply, every
Yankee has q notion of his OWL"
1t They don't wait for leap-year in Java,
C but if a young woman is i'll want of hus-
band she places an empty fower-pot OIL
e the roof of the front porch as a sign. II
y some of our young women lived Java,
a wouldn't they put out the pots?
New Curate (who wishes to know al
h about his parishoners): Then do un
n derstand that your aunt is on your fathers
r side Or your motler'S?" Country lad
d ''Zometimes one an zometime the other
, ceptin' when feytler whacks 'em both,
II sir.
II "Have you any boned turkey?" asked {
u hungry customer in Nevada restaurant
The proprietor laid his hand on his revolve
TX and cried, mo insinuations her, young
r man! We're honest here and don't bone
II nothin' !"
The eccentric genius who delights il
A. statistics says every man eats on an aver
a age eight bushels of wheat in the cours
te of "a year. We can point out men who con
is sumo at least twenty-five bushels of corr
in the same time, but they don't take til
y trouble to chew it.-Breay,tst IadLe.
st An English judge was in the habit of in
to terrupting counsel. lawyer who wa
thus annoyed one day said to him, you
as lordship is even greater man than you
is father. The Chief Baron used to undel
We stand me after had done, but your lord
I'd snip understands me before begin.
Two sisters conversing about a concel
b. which had taken place, the younger of til
IS two, who had been present, was asked
n
G. cored. Her youthful fancy must have bee
y drawn in another direction, for she replied
e. "Oh, no; she was in velvet"
They had q panorama at Stamfor
- church. "Where we will all fetch up.
n was the title of one of the scenes, and til
IL exhibitor meant to solemnly exhibit
I'd graveyard as food for moral reflection, br
D. by some accident he showed in scene {
IS the State Jail.
m m,e "John," said a poverty stricken man
IL his son, I've made my will to day.
"Ah /" replied John, ''you were liberal
-. me, no doubt" Eyes, John, came dow
o. handsome. I've willed you the who
i. State of New York-to make living il
at with the privilege of going elsewhere
en- you can do'better."
n When Mr.. Greeley once upon tin
Is, was lecturing in Indiana, in the palmy da.