The daily intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Territory [i.e. Wash.]) 1876-1881, 1878-09-23
Irish Humor.

The latter was so fine that its sarcasm
was often unperceived BY the object
against whom the shs Z was directed.
A legal friend. e>.fsmly studious,
but in conversation aotoriously dull,
was once showing of to him his newly
built house The book-worm prided
himself especially On sanctum he had
contrived for his own use, 80 secluded
from the rest Of the building that he
could pore over his book in private
quite secure from disturbance.
Capital = exclaimed the Chief b ~
You surely could. my dear fellow,
read aud study here from morning till
night, and no human being be sny the
wiser
A young and somewhat dull fyro at
the bar pleading before him commen-
ced My lord, my unfortunate client
then stopped. hemmed, hawed. hesi-
tated. Again he began, MY lord. my
unfortunate client = another stop,
more hemming and confusion.
Pray go on, sir said the Chief
Baron. 80 far the court is with you.
In those days, before competitive ex-
aminations were known. men with more
interest than brains got good appoint
nents. for the duties Of which they
were wholly incompetent Of such was
the Hon He was telling Lord Gull.
lamore Of the summary way in which
he disposed of matters in his court.
i say to the fellows who are bother
ing me with foolish arguments that
there's no use Of wasting my time and
their breath. for ali their talk just goes
in one ear and out the other
No great wonder in that, said o.
Grady. seeing that there's SO little be-
tween to stop it,
It was this worthy who, being st q
public dinner shortly after be got his
place. had his health proposed by q
wsggish guest.
i will give you o tosst, he said.
The Hon., and long may be continue
indiflereDtly to administer Justice
At dinner table over the wine Lord
Guillamore was q force, and this is one
of the stories be used to tell with great
applause. 1t was dialogue which he
assert ed he had heard in tho old coach
ing days between the guard Of the
mail and mincing old lady. when
once travelling from Cork to Dublin.
The coach had stopped to change
horses. and the guard. big. red-faced.
jolly fellow. beaming with good humor
and civility, came bustling up to the
window to see If the 'insides' wanted
anything.
Guard, whispered the old lady.
We'll, ma'am. what can / do for you?
Gould you'-in faint voice-'could
you get me glass of waterI'
To be sure. ms'am; with all the
pleasure in lite.'
And. guard. fainter ter-'Td-hcm-I'd
like it hot.
Hot water Oh all right. ma'am.
Why not, if it's pleasing to your
with . lamp Of sugar, guard, dear,
by all manner of means. ms'am.'
And -and-gusrd, dear. r.-as the
man was turning to 60 away-'a small
squeeze Of lemon. and . little. just a
thimbleful-of spirits through it.
Och, isn't that punch ? shouted the
guard. Where was tho use of beating
about the bush Couldn't you have
asked out for o tnmbler of punch at
once. ms'am like . man.
A story something like the following
has been told before. but in its new
shape it will bear repetition. 1t wss
told by Mr.. F., Clerk Of the Crown for
Limerick, who was over six feet high
and stout in proportion:
One day, when driving in the out
skirts of Dublin. they came to long
steep hill. Csbby came down and.
walking alongside Of the cab. looking
significantly at the window. His hon.
or knew very well what he meant but
the dsy was hot and he was lazy and
fat, and he had no notion of taking the
hint aud getting out to ease the horse
while larding the lean earth himself.
At last Paddy changed his tactics.
Making . rush at the cab. he suddenly
opened the door and then slammed it
to with tremenduous bang
What's that for reared Mr.. F.,
startled as the mans violence and the
loud report.
Whist. your honor! Don't cay .
word /! whispered Paddy. putting his
finger to bis lips.
But what do you mean. sirrah cried
he.
Arrah. can't you hush sir Speak
low do. Sure It's letting on !
am to the little mare that yer honor
got out to walk. Don't let her hear
you, and the craythur'll have more heart
to face the hill if she thinks you're not
insidc. aud that 'tis only the cab that's
throubling her.
Baron r. was one OF the most decor
Gus of Judges, but was cursed with .
scspegrace Of q brother. who was .
perpetual thorn in his aide. When at
school he Was ct . sum to do By his
teacher. After an undue delay he pre-
sented himself before the desk. and
held up his slate. upon one corner OF
which was . pile OF coppers.
What is the meaning Of all tins. sir
said the master.
Oh cried the youth. I'm very sor-
ry, sir. but really cannot help 1t. All
the morning I've been working at the
sum. Over and over sgain I've tried.
but in spite Of all l can do q will not
come right. So have made up the
difference in half-pencc. and there II
is on the slate.
The originality Of the device dis.
armed the wrath Of the pedagogue. and
Young 4. was dismissed with bis cnp-
pers to his place. :.
Here however is one told OF MI.
Plunket, the father OF the Lord Chan