The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1878-11-30
VARIETY.

NahlEI1.
IsEvIrABLE-War is inevitable Marriages
still continue.
Young men should take pattern by pianos
be square, upright, grand.
REvESGE-When the Khedive of Egypt has a
grudge against man he marries his daughter
Mr. NettIe was recently married to a Miss
Thorn. That's what you might call " a prickly
pair"
Most kinds of roots and barks are used as med
icines, except the cube and square roots and the
bark of dog
New York ladies are knitting for themselves
long, old-fashiOned purses of rich silk twist,
which are closed by silver rings or slides.
Nor so IGNoRANT.-Our ancestors, the mon
keys couldn't have been so ignorant after all.
They were all educated in the higher branches.
No matter how hard it is to find n rocking
chair during the day, man is sure to fall over
one when he is in search of the match box after
dark
There is something solemn in the tone of a
great bell striking midnight, especially if you
a mile from home, and know that your wife is
sitting behind the hall door waiting for you.
modern poet says. Until the young heart
of woman is capable of settling firmly and eZclu-
siyeIy on one object, her love is like n May
shower which makes rainbows but fills no cs
terms
LIKExEss-The French tramp resembles his
English cousin. Met with the response that
there was nothing for him to do, he answered,
''Oh, madame, if you only knew how little work
would occupy me-"
The London 50 Lancet says q blow on the ear
has often ruptured the drum, and warns parents
against boxing childrens ears. You get
more music out of a child by applying the slipper
a couple of feet below the 90 drum"
A Boston man advertised. % Wanted-girls
to crochet Any girl who submits to that is
likely to be worsted. It's crewel thing, but
then we've heard of chap darnin' his girl
because of the crotchets in her head.
PRoMprrruDE.-A Chicago paper says "Within
FIVE mrutes after the alarm OF fire was given our
reporter was on the ground.'' rival paper OBJ
serves 1--WE have little doubt of it, if he gave
the slightest proyocation to the foreman OF the
engine company.
Ir WOULDN'T SUu.-A woman found house
that pleased her, but the back yard dIdnt give
satisfaction The fence didn't contain a single
knot hole, and she said she WASH t going to break
her neck by climbing on top of an old barrel 10
see what was going on in the next yard.
a Disastrous GHOST INvEsTIGATIoN.-A man
saw ghost while walking along lonely high
way at midnight. The ghost stood exactly in
the middle of the road, and the wayfarer, decid
ing to investigate, poked at it with his umbrella.
The next instant he was knocked twenty feet
into mud-hOle. Moral-Never poke an UNI
brella at a large white mule when Its back is
turned.
IS Put some perfumery on my moustache,"
said young man to the barber, who was giving
a few finishing touches, in popular barber's
shop. 80 Must be going to make a call ?'' said
the roiite tOnsOrial artist. - Yes; going to
drop around to see some folks was the reply.
Going to see one of your many lady-friends,
of course p insnuated the knight of the razor.
Then the young man rose up out of the barber
chair and said, - See here, my friend-do you
suppose put perfumery my mOustache be-
cause I'm going to see man, boy, or an
old woman, or q baby in arms?' The barber
was silenced
When she answered the dOor-bell, yesterday,
she found stranger on the stoOp. he had
bundle in his hand, a smile ON his face, and he
said i
Madame, can l sell you some fy-paper?''
IS Does the paper fy?'' she asked.
No, ma am, but it makes the flies fly"
What do L want the flies to fly for?'' she
asked.
g Every ay,, madam" he was explaining,
when she called out;
- L want you to fly 1 can get along better
uith flies than with agents.
But am not on the fly" he softly pro-
tested.
dew for the gate, the roll of fly-paper flew over
the curb, and news-bOy climed trec-box to
he out Of the muss, and-shOuted
:. She dew, thou hiest, he fled, and believe
the dog got piece of meat with that coat-tail. -
4 MoDERN RUTH.-A pretty story is told in
the Pittsburg Commercial. y young lady from
the South was wooed ard won by young Cali
fornian physician. About the time the wedding
was to come of the young man lost his entire
fortune. lie wrote the lady letter, releasing
her from her engagement. And what does the
dear, good girl do ? Why, she takes a lump of
gold which her lover had sent her in his prosper
ity as a keepsake, and, having it manufactured
s1tp a ring, forwards 1t to him with the follow
5nE Bible inscription engraved in distinct charac-
+ers an the outside :-'' Entreat me not to leave
tbee: ec to return from following after thee; for
vrbither thou goest will 60, and where thou
godgest Eill lodge; thy people shall be my peo-
-IIee and thy God my God; where thou diest
Gsriji die and there will be buried the Lord do
so to me, and moEe also, if aught but death part
sne and thee - We may add concludes the
Commercial, - that fortune again smiled the
,zoung physician, and that he subsequently return
ed TO the South to wed the sweet girl he loved,
and who loved him with such undying affection.
lReader, this is all true. oung ladies who
Il. heroine of this