River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-09-12
FEMININITIES.

NOT WuHldu > Iliclt- Ddsc JAIL
Wedding bellies these who have
wedding ring
4 A delicate but not uncommon parcel
A Young lady wrapped up in herself.
Some New York bellies pass t,er leis.
ure knitting socks for gentlemen friends
The next governess of Canada looks
older than her husband, the future gov
ernor.
81 like to make sponge-cake," she
said, innocently: sit makes my hands SC
| clean" Boston Transcript.
She was plump and beautiful, and he
was wildly fond of her; she mated him,
but, woman like, she strovc to catch him.
He was flea
Whenever young ladies learn SO 70
stick pin IN their apron-string that il
won't scratch fellows wrist, there will
be more marriages.
The Boston servant girl carries roll
of music in her hand as she goes out to
walk. and thousands of people take her
to be an opera singer.
The girls of Tuscola H., place a blue
ribbon and mitten on the table when
their lovers come to visit them, and say,
Choose"
vent of the queens daughter Will not
cause extravaganza in equipage OF dress
among the Canadians.
A New York judge has decided that a
| baby carriage is not nuisance in its
natural state, but it can be made one by
any malicious minded person.
The woman who can dress better than
her neighbors will always be willing to
| defend them from aspersions and
forgive what they msy say about her.
A woman may not be able to sharpen a
| pencil or throw stones at hen, but she
can pack more articles into Trunk than
man can in a one horse wagon.
There's no place like home, unless
its some nice young girls home, when
| The old folks are at class meeting and the
match box is ELmira Gazette.
Dear me, said an old lady who was
unable TO keep up with her work. 81
shall be glad when | get into eternity, so
as TO have plenty of tilae for everything"
suppose should work myself up to
The interrogation pointsn said beau to
his sweetheart II should respond with
an exclamation, was the prompt reply.
An old lady from the south said she
never could imagine where / the Smiths
came from until she saw in New Eng
land town q large sign: smith Manu-
featuring Company"
A young lldy in Sacramento became
raving maniac through taking arsenic to
hcautify bar complexion. 1t is surmised
that she was something of q lunatic be-
fore she began to use it.
4 widow once said to her daughter:
when you are my age it will be time
enough 10 dream of husband" 'Yes,
mamma replied the thoughtless beauty,
for second time.
1t was on the train, and the lights
burned dimly, Sad he: "Do 90 ub me?"
said she: 'tEs, ubs Oon Said vulgar
fellow ON seat behind them: "What
are We giving us, taffeyl"
Two lawyers while bathing at St. Croix
the other day were chased out of the
water by shark This is the most fla
grant case of want Of professional courtesy
on record. -San Francisco Post
Susan B. Anthony has declared her viii
lingness to accept any part in the country
which will accept her and the three or
four other old maids with glmlet curls are
holding their ears back.
Miss Mary Ellen Chase surely did not
mean it when she said that there viii be
three women to one man III heaven, be-
cause two Of the three women wouldn't
accept heaven on those terms.
A Springfield woman, who was recent
Iy made widow, told her husband in his
last sickness of her scheme for his sue
cessor, and he gave his approval. The
next wedding is to take place before the
snow flies,
Two ladies created sensation at the
Elton and Horrow cricket matcl at Lon
son fortnight ago by walking about in
white satin costumes, covered with white
lace, the short petticoats revealing in
tensely black silk stockings
The post-office department has ruled
that husband has no control over the
correspondence OF his wife. # re-
quests the postmaster not to place her
letters in her husbands box, 1t is hia
duty to comply with her request.
"She paints beautifully" whispered
young lady to her escort, referring to
stunning belle who had just passed.
"Do you think so2" he answered. 1T
struck me she had put on rather too much
this evening" There was 'ull.
The yeomen of Eliza0eth's reign, of
whom it is boosted that they drew their
bowstrings to their ears and sent cloth
ward, shaft whistling through barn
door at eighty yards, ate meat only about
once g week. and lived the rest of the
time on bread ana cheese.
A mature Phryne was making herself
c, nspicuous at the opera by talking loud
lg to the two young men who accompanied
her. ssWhat a bad example that woman
is giving her sons" said in stage whisper
spectator in an adjoining box. No
further disturbance from thar source.
"What is a junction, nursef'' asked a
7-vear old fairy the other day ofan elder
\ ~ LADY who stood al her side on rail-
way platform. a junction, my DEAR"
answered the nurse, with the air of a very
superior person, indeed, why, its place
where two roads separate
Tell woman that England had
changed to a republic, the Sandwich
Islands had suuk aud Like Erie had
dried up. and she would exhibit half the
interest that wouldn't possess he rover the
statement that something mad At last been
| invented to remove freekles.
The weather is too warm for any fool
ishness in the way of counting. The first
thing some girl knows she will let her
gush get the advantage of her Judgment,
and will put her arms around her fell
lows neck, and there will be only pud-
die of sorghum molasses and some dirty
clothes to tell where the fellow onee sat
= Glasgow (Ky) Times.
4 doctor, while escorting lady home
II one evening, Offered her troche 10 relieve
/ her cough. He told her to LET il dissolve
gradually in her mouth. No relief was
experienced, and the doctor felt quite
ehagrined the next DAY when the lacy
sent him a pantaloon button with mote
saving he must have given her the wrong
kind Of troche, and might need this
one.
Al great man lives in the influence Of bis
ex ample and his teachings. How many
there are who resurTect Franklin In hi
famous maxim, Save pence, pounds
will save themselves, when the church
collector shakes the contribution box o.
basket under their noses
A pair Of very chubby legs,
4 r.. : H. ~fatk s,aa