davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-02-14

The Scicnetific American is a First class Weekly
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provements pertaining to Textile industry, Weav-
ing, Dyeing, Coloring, New industrial Products,
ing facts in Agriculture, Horticulture, the Home,
Health, Medical Progress, Social Science, Natural
History, Geology. Astronomy,etc'
The most aluable practical, paper, by eminent
writers in all depaIt Itments Of science, will befound
in the Scientific American; the whole presented in
popular language free from technical terms, Illus
trated with engravings and arranged as TO inter-
est and inform all classes of readers, old and young
The Scientific American is promotive of knowledge
and progress in every community where IL crcuates
1t should have place in every family, Reading
year sl.6o half year, which includes prepayment
of postage Discount to clubs and agents Single
coples ten cents. Sold by all Newsdealers Remit
by postal order to MUM CO., Publishers, 81
Park ROW, New York.
PATENTS an,ss In sSnnosSs s,th the ss
Mum & Co. Solicitors of American and Foreis IN
Patents, and have the largest establishment In the
world. Patents are obtained on the best Germs
Models Of New inventions and sketches Examine.
and advice free. A special notice Is made In the
Semitic American of all inventions patented
through this agency, with the name and residence
OF the patentee. Public attention Is thus directed
to the merits Of the new patent, and sales intro
Any person who has made new discovery or In.
vention, can ascertain, free of charge, whether a
patent can probably be obtained, by writing TO the
undersigned. Address for the paper or concerning
MUM &lco., 81 Park Row. New Yo,s
Branch Once, Cor /. d Ith SITS, Washington, D. G.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-02-14
Beatty's s Persor o,gans '...s
ESTABLISHED IN 1856.

ESTABLISHED IN 1856.
Believing it to be by far the best Parlor and Or
chestral Orgon manufactured, we challenge any
manufacturer to equal them. The celebrated Col
den Tongue Reeds in this organ in conjunction with
the Perfect Reed Boards produce sweet pure and
powerful tories. Superb cases of new and elegant
designs, Ministers, teachers, churches schools
lodges etc., should send for price list and discounts
Dealers will find it to their advantage to exam
inc this instrument. 1t has improvements found
IN no other. Correspondence solicited.
Best offer ever given. Money refunded upon re-
turn OF organ and freight charges paid by me DAN
lei p Beatty both ways if unsatisfactory, after
test trial OF five days. Organ warranted for six
no agent. Agents wanted. Address,
DANIEL F. BEATTY,
Washington, New Jersey, u. S. A.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-02-14

and several others. This state is rapidly settling
having double the emigration of any other state in
tho Union over 800 600 last year. This is owing to
the pleasant. healthy climate and fine soil.
Investment in Texas land pay handsomely. 4C
cent lands frequently selling for 81 per acre
within year after location. Considering the risk
and uncertainty of loaning money to individuals,
depositing in banks, we know of no investment
offering the same inducement for safety and profit
buying 640 acres of good land for S250 in of
the healthiest climates in the world and a soil
surpassed. Our office is in the Somerset Press
building, up stairs, where will be pleased TO
see any who may want information.
GREINER & JOHNSON, Agents.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-02-14

The undersigned wishes to announce to the peo-
pie of Perry county that he has started a new
Planning Mill in the old
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-09-25
The Shofguu and the Shofbng.

Gen. Robert Toombs 10 q recent
conversation describing how Geor-
gia had been "regenerated" by the
Democrats, candidly remarked "Our
only safety was in intimidation and
bribery. We had either to do hal
or let the Commonwealth go to the
dogs. 1t was not VIVA. the Radicals
call an argument of the shotgun that
| used 10 my district, but the argu-
ment OF the sho,bag. 1t was unan-
swersble. An old negro named
Isaac helped me oct wonderfully
when first used the shotblg. Isaac
bad belonged to me, and vas willing
to do whatever I told him. The
style in which be dispensed largess
from the shotbag astonished the Fed
eral officials who were watching the
cleo ion, and brought about a whole
some aud decided charge in the pol
tiles Of the colored voter. | never
yet saw a negro that wasn't in favor
of a sound currency and hard m Dney.
But it's too early to be talking about
who saved the State. The Il 'pu5li-
can party was defeated by the men
who stood at the polls early aud late
and brought order out of chaos with
bribery. Yes, sir, bribery pure and
simple. | say it was right
Charleston Nsus and Courier.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-09-25
About Eald Heads

L. has been noted land, it cannot
be deLied, With a great deal # truth
raj gndlinlss and badness 80 over
The earth hand in haud Sitting 10
a church gallery and look
ing over the consre-
gallon, the number Of smooth bald
heads to be seen is oyerpowering.
This is noticeable among every de-
nomination except the Qnakers
who in the first place have no god
illness in their churches, and who
keep their hats on during meeting.
The same thing, though, must be
said of the theaters. Ever fourth
male head is q bald one. Ii it is net
already white and bare, a little
more time will make it SO. And,
after al, some people prefer a perfectly
bald bead to a fiery red one.
A young clergyman was once ru-
med in his profession by a bright red
head, although his own was as black
as ink. In the midst Of a solemn ser.
mon on remembering the Sabbath day
be looked up at the gallery and burst
into q roar of laughter. The con-
%gregatiop, of course, looked around
and saw a youngs.er in the second
row of seats holding his open hands
over q burning red head before him,
and then rubbing bis hands together
8 if warming them.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-09-25
Keep Your Head Up.

Doleful and morose people car be
detected on the streets by the manner
of carrying the head. IL is inclined
forward and has q d~isjointed swing
ing motion. The lace is carried as
if anxious to "get thar" in advance of
the toes, looks awful mournful, and
is generally wrinkled the nasal
organ has q mournful droop, and ap-
pears as if the blood was not allow
ed to run freely down the back OF
the neck, which seemingly gives
the nose such an erysipelatous color
ing, that it is mistake for an indica-
ton of anti-blue ribbon indulgences.
Look up when on the street. Ii
disposed to do otherwise, force the
habit on yourself Of carrying the
head erect, the ewes exalted, and
bent on things above the Sidewalk
cutters There is nothing 50 cheer
ing to be found in studying pave
ments and cobble -stones. Glance at
the tree-toPs, at the sunshine. Light
on the eve always has a tendency to
cheer the mind, because the brain
connects directly with the optic
nerves, and a pleasing effect on them
touches the thought aud eaiigens it
accordingly.
Besides, to carry ones nose high
ia alleged by phrenologists to be an
evidence of self-confdence and indie
pendence of spirit. "As happy as a
co x-boy," is frequently quoted.
These ba~refooted urchins almost in
variably go along with their head
aloft, eyes bent on the horizon, and a
notable characteristic is the propensi-
ty for whistling. The latter is an
other cheerful habit. Whistle lusti-
ly, whilst on oil proper occasions.
1t is on exceptions: a Of a man
who cannot whistle, howage, poor
his musical education may be. The
habit expands the lungs, and gives
the mind an agreeable sensation, and
keeps one from brooding over troubles.
A lady Of considerable fame has paid
whistlers O enlogy by asserting that
she never fears n man that whistles,
because evil thoughts Gnd nc room
in the heart of TIE u who is fond of
such pleasing exercise.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-09-25
Is This Seat Occupied?

Au old but vigorous boxing gen
tleman, seemingly from the rural
districts, got into u car aJd walked Its
toll length without receiving al in
vitstion to sit down. Approaching
one gentleman who had y whole
bench to himself, be asked
is this seat occupied!
"Yes sir, it H." impertilen,ly re-
piled the other.
Well" replied the broad--houl-
dered agriculturalist, 81 will keep
this sea- until the other gentleman
comes
The original p%roprietcf Withdrew
himself haught.ly To u end and
looked insulted. After @ while the
train got ia motion, and still nobody
came to claim the seat, wbereupon
the deep-chested ag~riculturali5t turn
ed and said
"Sir, When you told me this s1at
was occupied you told me q lie. |
never sit heal a liar il | cia avoid 1t
| would rather stand up"
Then appealing to another party,
be said
.Sir, may | sit next to you! You
don't lock like a lar"
We need hardly say that he got
his sea,, ard that the original pro-
uriet r though there wa4 bm,thing
wrorg NIB vi ,gr social sys'em.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-09-25
Natures Freak.

The st Benoit twins are two dis.
tiucL and separate organizations.
They have two perfectly formed and
natural heads and bodies a. tar "a
the last rib. Below that the two
bodies are fused into one. Each has
two arms, but only u leg. When
a pin is thrust into the right leg the
right girl viii cry, while the left girl
continues her previous occupation
generally a broad smile. Other ex-
periments show that each of the twins
is entirely separated from the other,
aud one may be sleeping while the
other is laughing. They have bu.
one abdomen, but the heart and up
per inte5tines in each are separate
and independent.
The twins were born at St. Ben
oft, about thirty miles from Montreal,
Canada, where their parents and
grandparents, who are descended
from the original French settlers Of
the country, have resided for nearly
a hundred years past. They are sew
en- months old, perfectly healthy, and
handsome, and Judging from appear
ances, have the same chance of life
as ordinary children. The parents
have one other child, a girl two
years old, entirely free from Flemish,
and the present twins are the first in
stance ever known OF any "lreak" of
nature in the family. One of the
twins has been christened MARY"
and the other Rosa" Mary is
slightly smaller than her sister and
has a darker complexion. One of the
physicians who examined the twins,
said on his professional honor to q
brother physician. that if they had
been born separately one would have
been a boy aud the other o girl.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-09-25
Profits of Beer BscwIng.

The extent to which beer il used
in this country, as is evinced 10y the
tax collected from il, is enormous. Ii
is estimated that more money is paid
for beer in almost any large city than
is paid for breadstuff.. In New York
The amount il set down by compe-
tent authorities ss not FAR from $780,
600, 900 per sBnum A. at present
constituted the Manufacture Of beer
is very profitable TO the bre ~ers, and
there are many instances given OF
their sudden acquisition of immense
wealth. Jones, now u memter OF
Congress from New Hampshire.
made an immense fortune in the
brewing business in a few years.
George Ehret, of New York, began
with $4,000 ten years ago, and Is
now worth 81, 800, 900 Jacob Hof-
man, who hogan with $1,000 at the
same time, is now worth $780,
600. John Kress, who began
brewing 10 his wife's wash kettle,
without O cent, died about q year
ago worth orer BALI Q million dol
lara.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-09-25
Made u

Saturday forenoon o young man of
about twenty, nearly developed in o
linen duster, was wandering through
the City Hall with bis Mary jane,
and he was several times overheard
to say
MARY, Id die for you-wOuld, for
q fact"
After seeing the various rooms he
left her on the steps while he hunted
around fer q place to buy soda-water.
In crossing the street he wss run in
to by a velocipede, and he got up
yelling like an Indian. The officer
on duty at the hall ran down and ask
ed him if be was hurt.
Hurt |. Pm mashed to kindlings ~
was the reply.
But ! heard you say you were will
ling to die for the girl in the gray suit
up there"
IL don't keer a cent for what ye
heard ~ exclaimed the young man as
he DANCED around on q leg. y
want you to understand that there's
Just as much difference Tween dying
for the gal you love and collidin' with
a two wheeled sulky asthere is tween
a three zen mouth organ and . brass
band of angels / want to begin &
lawsuit right OIL"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-09-25
The President's COnundruns

Why" said Mr.. Hayes, glancing
triumphatly around the table, zig that
shoe (elevating his large foot on the
top of an adjacent chair like the up
per end of my spinal column ?" "Be
cause" said Butler, smiling and wink
ing his eye, sit sustains the under
standing" NO." said Hayes, la
~conically, helping himself TO fish.
Because it's a part of your back
BONE" ,imidly suggested Tecumseh
Sherman, "but ! don't see that the
shoe is" They smiled at his SIM
plicity, and Evarts suggested that it
was "because-because-I can't see
what a foot in, but ! do see why a
mile is-because it's too fur to bray
to vertebra." No notice was taken
of him, and Kearney said he didn't
know what the spinal column was,
but he was "glsd to see the Presi-
dent pool is shoes" well, gentle
men," said Mr.. Hayes, you can't
guess why that shoe is like the top
my spinal column. Why, it is be-
cause it is my dollar obtong-gaiter."
And Dana said il was q very easy
one and be was just going to guess
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-09-25
COnundruWss

Why is dancing ike milk? BE
cnuse il hens the calves.
Whv j. m Engliabmnn like a bee
Because he is ruled by u queen.
What is the best way to curb a
wild young man. To bridal him
What kind of a ship has two mates
aud no captain? Court ship.
Why is a Disseminated man like o
Watchdog? Because be is a %growler.
What is that by losing an eye has
nothing left but a nose? A noise.
What is that which makes every
thing visible, but is itself unseen I!
Light.
WY is a letter like a flock Of
sheep2 B,eaqso it is penned and
folded.
What class Of women are most apt
TO give tone to society? The bellies.
At what time is q cigar like an old
maidy When there IL no match
for it. :
What is the best government
That which teaches US to govern
ourselves.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-09-25
Shinglc Your Own House.

Scene, bsr-room ; time, midnight
Wife: Il wish that man would
90 home, if he's got one to go to-"
Landlord, "Silence, he'll call for
something he's taking the shingles
of his own house. and putting them
on ours"
By this time James began TO come
to his right senses, stretched himself
as if he had just awoke, aud said;
al believe / will 60"
Don't be in a hurry, James," said
the landlord.
"Oh, yes, | must CO." said James,
as he started.
After an absence of o long time, the
landlord met and accosted him with /:
Hello, Jim, WHY amt you been
down to see us 2"
"Why, l had taken so many
shingles of my own house that it be.
gan to leak /: 50 | thought time to
stop the leak, and so | have done it,
said James.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-09-25
C~uri0sities of l.ife.

Lay your finger on ycur pulse,
aud know that at every stroke some
Immortal soul passes t. S Maker
some fellow being crosses the river VI
death aud if you think Of II, We
may well wonder that il should be
80 long before our turn
Half Of all who live, die before
seventeen.
Only n person ia ten thousand
lives to be a hundred years old. and
but one in nine hundred reaches six.
ty.
The married live longer than the
single.
There is one soldier to every eight
persons, and out Of every thousand
born only n~iDety-6se weddings take
place.
If you take O thousand persons who
have reached seventy yeas, there are
OF clergymen, orators. and public
speakers. forty-ihree /; farmers forty
workmen, .birty-three; soldiers thirty
two; lawyers, twenty-nine; probes
sors, twenty-seven doctors, twenty
four.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-09-25
An Irish Legend,

The Irish have a curious legend re-
speeding what ohey call BlGiad ma
oge in other words "The blossom OF
youth" The legend is this: IAN
Irishman at one period went TO Den
mark, where he was Hospitality re-
ceived, much to bis astonishment.
He wal taken into immediate favor
by those among whom be visited
He ives told that in q certain part of
the country of Limerick, from which
it appears he came. there was G crock
of gold hidden under a white thorn
bush in a garden, which was so clear
ly pointed out to him that there could
be no installing the locality. He
was further told that among the gold
was a remarkable circular piece Of
cola with which be should return to
Denmark, but be might become pos.
SCISSOR of all the gold in the crock ex-
cept that particular piece. The
Irishman was obedient to the letter.
He returned to Denmark with the
circular piece, aud kept for himself
all but that. The Danes were re-
joiced. A very aged Dane having been
rubbed with the wonderful circular
piece of gold, at once became young
again, fresh and vigorous as ia the
days Of his boyhood. So with other
Danes, You have brought back said
they, The Blaiad ND oge, the blossom
Of youth and Ireland shall be poor
eyermore.'"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-09-25
ssEatiDg'' Rules.

Never eat when much fatigued
wait until rested.
Never eat just before you expect to
eEgsge ir any severe mental or ply
steal exercise.
Never eat while ia . passion; OF
when under any great mental excite
ment, depressing or elevating.
Never eat Just before taking q bath,
or retiring ct night.
Never eat before regular meals.
Thousands of persons have been pre-
maturely laid in their graves simply
from eating heartily when the system
was not in a condition to properly di-
gest and appropriate the food. When
the system requires food, and is in a
condition to make good use Of it,
it will call for it 10 its own legitimate
way.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-09-25
wedding Ouf the UnproGfaoIe Cows

If a class of farmers need cline up
Oh line" to induce them to see the
road to success, it is the dairymen.
They keep cows for the supposed
profit they bring, and they live in
blissful Ignorance that they are do
ing this work for amusement /; yet
they seldom make an inquiry into
the actual performances of individual
cows. They make no effort to sep
arate the good from the Improbable.
To o large class Of dairymen cow is
a COW, and they do not like to make
an iDvidious discrimination; so they
go on, year after year, keeping cows
that do not pay for the food they
eat. We have often endeavered to
rouse dairymen to the necessity of
testing the performances of individual
cows, or perhaps one-half of the herd,
that do not return compensation for
their food. We have known several
herds that paid so poor Il return, that
the owner became discouraged, and
concluded that dairying must usual
ly be carried on without reasonable
profit but by testing the individual
yield and quality of these herds, it
was found, in one case that the loss
was made on three cows out of
eight, the five paying q reasonable
profit, while the three poor ones sunk
this in another case eight cows sunk
the profit of twenty. There is sell
dom a herd of twenty COWS that does
not contain some that pay a good
profit, a few herds comparatively. Of
that number, that do not contain one
or more that are kept at a loss. The
selection of cows should be cousid-
cred one Of the first practical princi-
pies Of dairying. The COW is the
machine to work out the dairyman's
profit and il he is quite careless in
the selection of this machine he can
not expect success.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-09-25

"Bijab, three days ago my husband
came home cross. felt that same
way, too, and when he found fault
because the water boiled out of the
potatoes, | gave him to understand
that didn't marry him to become
his slave. One word brought on
another, and ! left him."
The plot thickens-proceed."
/ am ashamed of my conduct, and
| think be feels the same, but is it
my duty to go to him and ask his
forgiveness? Nol | never will"
But you like him
Kinder
"And be likes you 7"
"Yes-kinder.n
"And you had a very pleasant
home"
yves"
Madam, tie the strings of your
bonnet in q hard knot, take q snuff
of hartshorn to strengthen your
nerves, and walk right home from
here. Begin grinning as you enter
the gate, jump into the door without
a word, and when you catch sight OF
him picking the carpet tacks out OF
his early supper, with the broom on
the melodeon, the dust-pan on the
center table and the pots and ket.
ties on the woodbox, you call out in
your best way:
Hello, old pard, let's kiss and set
tie for a hundred cents on the dollar /!
He'll break right down like a year
ling calf under o load of grind
stones"
"But be ought to come to me-"
Madam, don't wait didn't l have
three different wives hang of on me,
and didn't they all die while waiting
for me to give in first 2"
lin awful proud, but | like
john" she unused aud she headed
for home as she went out having
agreed to carry out the programme
to the letter.
BLESSED are the-the-what do
you call them feilers 7" said Bijah, as
be looked after her, He'll cave il
she'll feel happy and the song of the
mulberry will WOO them to sleep.
Let's have a rest."-Detroit Free
Press
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-09-25

The high road to independence
lies, for most people through the
narrow gate of economy. 1t is not al
Always a pleasant place. 1t requires
sacrifice but it repays the sacrifice
with interest. There are some who
do not need TO economize-people
with ample fortunes. who are able
to spend pretty much as they please.
The more this class spends the better
for society. What would be
praise-worthy economy for some
would be downright stinginess for
them. Nobody is rich enough TO be
wastefpl, but those who are able
ought to purchase freely tie products
of genius and industry, and thus give
employment to the workers. The
rich err by boarding. the poor by
spending too freely. The road to
independence lies through saving
something Of what is made, not always
in making much. Ii is not only when
the expenses are too great that the
business does not pay. The house
hold is like a business enterprise ; it
is never financially prosperous unless
more comes into it than goes out.
The art of saving consists in buying
well. Il person of limited means
must resist many temptations to buy
things. Too many people make the
mistake of buying a cheap article
instead of a dear one, and imagine
they are economizing. The mistake
is in buying the article at all They
could not afford it, cheap or dear,
and it is n wise rule to buy few things
but good ones. Another essential
rule in the art of saving is eve to
spend money before you get it. Do
without the coveted treasure, be it a
luxury, or necessity, until the money
is in your pocket, and you will know
better how it ought to be spent. Buy
sub stantial things. If the amoant of
money that is verse than thrown
away each year for evanesccnt trifes
and snowy gew-gaws by people in
embarrassed circumstances could be
ascertsined AMI footed up the result
would be appalling. The money is
simply wasted, and the saving Of it
would go far toward putting the
spenders in u comfortable crndi-
fIsu