Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1878-07-18
Josh Billings to the Girls.

Dear girls, are you In search OF hus-
band?
That is pumper, aud you are not re.
quested to say Eyes" out loud, but are ex-
pekted tew throw yure eyes down onto
the earth as though you wuz looking for
4 pin, and reply tew the interrogatory
with kind of draulin sigh.
Not tew press so tender theme until
it becomes thorn in the flesh, we will
presume, tew avoid argument, that you
are on the lookout for sumthing IN the
mail line. Let me give you sum small
chunks ov advice how tew spot yure fu-
ture husband: 49,
/. The man who is jelllus ov every
little attenshun which yu get from some
other Teller, you will find after WI are
married tew him he will luv himself more
than he duz yu, and what yu mistook for
Substitute yu will discover haz changed
to Indifference.
Jellusy isn't heart discze: 1t is q liver
complaint
2. A mustache is not Indispensable; it is
only little more hair, and much like
moss and other excresences-often duz
the best on sile that won't raise anything
else. Don't forget that these things
which yu admire in fellow before mar
riagc yn will probably dislike in a hus-
band after, All mustache will get to he
a very weak diet after long time.
8. If husbands could be took on trial
would probably be returned; but there
don't seem to be emmy law for this. There
fore, girls, WI will see that after WI git a
man you have got to keep hum, even if
yu luce on him. consequently, if yu
have got emmy kold vitles in the house,
try him on them once and while during
securing season, and il he swalers them
and SEE he will take some more, he is a
man who, when blue Monday kums; will
wash we'll.
4. Don't marry pheller who is alwus
tellin how hiz mother dug things. 1t IL
| tew hard to wean yung one.
5. It young man can beat you play
ing on the planner, ana can't hear fish
horn playing on the street without turn
ing summerset OH account Ct the musick
that is in him, say to leave him; he
might answer to tend babe, but if you set
him hoeing out in the garden. you will
find that you have got to do it yourself.
A man whose whole life lies in musick
(and nj t too hefty at that amt no better
than seedlitz powder; but if he luvs to
listen while you sing sum gentle ballad,
vi will find him mellow and not soft.
But don't marry ennybody just for one
virtew emmy quicker than yu would flop
man for just enc fault.
6. 1t is one ov the most tufest things
| for female to be an CID maid successful
Fly. A great many has tried it, and made
bad Job ov it, and had hard time
Every body seems to look upon old maids
as Just they do upon dried herbs in the
| garret-handy for sickness and, Therefore,
gi.ls, it amt a mistake that yu shud he
willing to swop yourself oph with some
true hearted phellow for a husband.
The swop may be good one; but don't
swop for any man who is respectable
just because hiz father IL. You had bet
ter be an old maid for four thousand
years and then join the Shakers than tew
buy repentance 1T this price. No woman
ever made this trade who didn't get 3
phool, a mean kuss or clown for hus-
| band. 'a VS. ~
7. In digging down into this subject,
find the digging goes harder the further
l get. It is much easier tew inform Iyu
who not tew take, for the recon there is
more ov them. - = <,'@%.> - '''',' ..
T don't think you will follow my ad-
livice, if give it: and therefore, Il will
keep it. for look upon castor ola mean
dose to givs and q mean dose to take.
If you can find "a bright-eyed. well bal
lasted boy, who Looks upon poverty az
sass Y az child looks upon wealth--wbo
had rathersslt down on the curbstone Of
the 5th avenue hotel and eat ham sand.
wicb- rather than 60 inside and run in
debt Cor his dinner and toothpick, and.
who is man with that sort of pluck that
mistakes 4 defeat for, q. victory, my tad-,:
vice is to take him body and SOU, snare
him at onst, for he is,atgstray trout q
breed very skarse in our waters. It'd
Take him, say, and bid onto hin IS
hornets bid on, q tree. "a s& ~ III. , ss,
The Indian OF, Brahnin bull, often
called the zebu, extends over southern
Asia and the Eastern Islands, is also,
found in Eastern Africa, sasdsis common
to the northwest. Himaiays. They are
Iyenerated BY the Hindus, who object 10
alaugh tering them, but suae them in har-s