Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1878-12-03

A WOMAN's INGENUITY.-A man
was once walking along the road. and a
woman along another. The roads final
ly united, and man and woman, reached
the junction at the same time, walked
on from there together. The man was
carrying large iron kettle on his back :
in one hand he held by the legs live
chicken, in the other cane, and he was
leading goat. just as they were COM
ing to deep, dark ravine the woman
said to the man II am afraid to 90
through that ravine with you; it is a
lonely place, and you might overpower
me and kiss me by force" IF you
were afraid of that, said the man, "you
shouldn't have walked with me at all :
how can possibly overpower you and
kiss you by force when have this great
kettle on my back, a cane in one hand
and live chicken in the other, and am
leading this goat! might as well be
tied hand and foot?"
eyes" replied the woman ''but if
you should stick your cane into the
ground and tie the goat to it, and turn
the kettle bottom side up, and put the
chicken into it, then you might wick ed.
~ kiss me, in spite Of my resistance. -
Success to thy ingenuity, 0 woman !"
said the rejoicing maa to himself; 81
should never have thought of such an
expedient."
And when they came to the ravine he
stuck his cane into the ground and tied
the goat to it, gave the chicken to the
woman. saying, "Hold it while I cut
some grass for the goat" then lowering
the kettle from his shoulders, impris-
oned the chicken under it, and wicked
~ kissed the woman, as she was afraid
he would.
He DROVE ON.-When Mr. Ballard
kept the Exchange Hotel, Richmond,
Va, before the war, he owned all his
servants, who, in these days were slaves.
Among them was one they called bob, !"
who was a favorite, and was detailed as
valet to his master-one of the most
generous and kind hearted men that
ever lived. Bob, having access 70 MIR.
Billiards. room, lad habit of wearing
his masters Clothes, and when caught
always pleaded as an excuse that nc
''thort massa had got done wild dosa old
clothes.'' and although often threatene ed
with punishment for his audacity, al.
ways escaped by cleverness. One day
Mr.. Ballard and friend were driving
in Richmond anu the conversation
turned upon clothes. Mr.. B. remarke ed
that he had just received from friend
in London q new style of coat that was
predicted would become very popular
While he was talking they reached {
, crowd of negroes in the road, and in the
centre of an admiring circle stood Boil
!; wearing the identical coat that formed
the subject of conversation, and holding
a brace of chickens in one hand and 6
basket of eggs in the other hand. 'Set
here, you black rascal" exclaimed Mr.
Ballard reigning up, and flourishine
the whip above Bob's he'd, chow dare
you wear my new coat?" tsIs dis yer
new coat?" innocently exclaimed Bob
his eyes rolling over and over again in
, their sockets. fore God, Massa Bal
lard, thOrt twas der oneyer done gon,
give me last night for not telling mis-
sus you was out SO late." Mr.. Ballard
drove on.
THE NEWSPAPER BUsINEs Her,
is how brother journalist puts it Wv,
suppose that many people think tina
: newspap r men are persistent duns; lie
. farmer place himself in similar bust
ness position aud see if he would not d.
the same. Suppose he raised one thou
sand bushels OF wheat, and his neighbo
80 H..'u o,'i.e ana I pu t ous.ie', anu IN
dollars or less and tha neiohhor saws. !.
; will hand you the amount in few days
AS the farmer did not want to be small
: about the matter, he says ali right, AM
, the man leaves with the wheat. An
! other comes in the same way, until tn
I, whole of the one thousand bushels o
! wheat are trusted to one thousand diff