The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1878-07-02
FINE CUT.
Take Small Chews for it Swells'

A steak holder-The gridir6n.
Culivating hops-Learning to dance.
An uneasy resting-place-the seat
of war.
What beats a good wife: A bad
husband.
Saying sharp things-'Speaking
daggers."
Warfare is the worst kind Of fare to
live on.
Lassie-towed-A fellow with girl
on each arm.
The hen becomes rooster when the
sun Cues down.
Worth once made the man. Now
he makes up the fashionably-ati;red
woman.
l. there any English word that con-
tains all the vowels? There Is, UNI
questionably.
"iIere's to internal improvement?
as DObbins said when he swallowed a
dose Of salts.
Which is the strongest day IL the
week /. Sunday, because all the
others are week days.
Son. Of the baker--"I Knead Thee
Every Hour" The first note 81 the
song is dough.
1t is said Truth lies at the l0ttom
of well \ good many people who
seek it fall out of the bucket y"ine
dosn.
| In reply tn the question, ''!i"w lid
you kill 50 many rats, Mike: the
enthusiastic hastily said: Il strychnine
of them ut wanst, sir.
1.-The stone that is ruled gathers M
moss" And happy should it Ike in
consequence thereof. The gathering
Of mois is a proitless operation.
| 4 man in Maine applied for five
gallons of rum tor ''mechaDic;il pur-
pose>." For what mechanical purposes !:
''For raising barn" was the resay
/ \ little girl who was sent out tn
look for eggs came back unsuccessful.
and complained that there were l't>
Of hens standing around doing
nothing.
i Fond father: "Well. nv son. how
, d. you like college: Alma Mater
. has turned out some great men. "
) Young Hopeful Just expelle,h -
, "Yr>, sir she has turned me out
!. \ Hrlgeport man has been twenty
. years perfrcting a machine To- enable
: him To flv over the Niagara Falls. 1t
} would have been cheaper, We think.
! to have taken to the bridge.
Ii you marry between now and tall.
wed "a girl who has million yards Of
pink masvuito bar in her own right.
especially if you contemplate residing
; in New Jersey.
4 woman will face a frownins
!. world and cling to the man she loves
EEs %Sa shr % wear b.tssa s sS:
. behind the style To save the govern
ment.
What's in a name!" The Young
Mans Association Of Albany, New
r York. sixty members strong. has forty
, lai, members. The owners of pull
, backs do most Of the voting and all ol
talking.
e Smith does not think that his daugh
tiers beau should stay SO late in the
I evening. The other morning she was
, prai-ing the young man for his strength
$ of character. YES" said Smith, "ht
has great staying powers
: The phonograph may bottle up the
voice and pass it down to future ages
. but the smile that twists the face of d
man as he seeks solitude aud gaze,
upon his name in print for the first
time will always have To he guessed
, at.
There is no truth in men," said q
!. lady in company; they are like music
al instruments that sound variety oi
tones" ''In other words, madam,
said a wit who CHANGED to be present,
, 'you believe that all men are lvres.
, A little hoy was asked the other day
!. If he knew where the wicked finally
/, went to! He answered: They prac
, tice law spell here. then go To the
L-gi-lature!" 1t was a painful oper
alton for the boy to sit down for q few
days.
One of our Paris exchanges speak.
. OF party that went went out and
|, lunched On the Boulevard. A iSoule
, ward might make a very palaiable
r morsel to Partisan palates. but excuse
Us. please. while yet the kindly boot
, leg sustaineth life.
. Theology gets little mixed up in
the youthful mind. "Who made
: you asked a teacher Of little girl
She answered "God made me tina,
long-putting her hands about twelve
inches apart-''and ! growed the resi-
myself"
II Won have not got q wife 0i your
own to keep you posted on the private
affairs of your neighbors. why. then.
get several telephones. As a rule, one
good brisk wife who takes q pride in
) her mission, is equal to six higl,
pressure telephones.
whats the use of all this sacrifice
Of life, this bloody butchery Of Turk
and Russian? ?" said q Philadelphia
Quaker to Cincinnati hog merchant.
Il don't know" replied the latter
mournfully; pork isn't riz any that
/ can see."
! At the door cf the European Con-
gress: Russian to Turk-''See here,
now. YOU know! We are friends
treaty of alliance-complimeniary
kilograms exchanged. and all that sort
of th;,.., Cn,i1o IN ,,ns, LII.