The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-08-16
EMPORIA NEW s.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 16, 1878.
Fanniaa.

dnOAOos
"Give us rest " from this turmoil and
"Give us a rest'' from this life's many
..Giye ms a rest'' though man be a bubble,
That's apt to :" bust up" and take tolks
unawares.
''GIve us a rest" and give us a long one,
''Give q rest" that peaceful and fair;
If we must have joy why send us the wrong
Wei pass it along to the man "over there
Give us a rest from this careless endeavor,
To root out the weeds as we toll through
Give us a rest that will last us forever,
Let some other fellow take hold OF the noe
A delicate parcel-A young lady
wrapped up in herself.
Father-Why don't you say grace,
Charley? Charley-Why COS i
don't like the looks of them taters.
There IL no good substitute fur
wisdum, but silence IL the best that
haz been discovered.-Josh Billings.
All the nice boys have their hair
closely lawn moved. 1t stabs the
fles to death and bothers the mos
quitoes.
A Geogia colored man recently
mistook Alexander II. Stevens
shadow for a piece of telegraph
wire.-New York Star.
Satan is good to his own.-Nor-
ristown Herald Glad to see that
you are disposed to be grateful
New Haven Register.
Beaconsfield talking to himself
Eyes, there is something in old saws.
1t is the EARLY bird that catches the
worm.'-Courier Journal.
'Kiss-K kiss is the name of new
song. The author is supposed to
have attended Sunday school pic
mic and watched a game of 'Copen-
hagen
Bismsrck's dog, rejecting: "My
sagacity, 1 perceive, is once more at
fault. Instead of soaring old Gorts-
chakoff ought to have tasted that
yillainous Englishman."
A dreamy writer says it would be
curious to follow a. pound of silk
from its spinning until it becomes q
lady's dress. No doubt; but most
men would prefer TO follow 1t after
it becomes a dress.-San Francisco
Chronicle.
"My dear old fellow, how are
You? Haven't seen you since we
were at college together. What ails
You? You seem sad" ''My friend,
/ am thirty-two; 1 have arrived at
that fatal age when novelist would
speak of me as a young man STILL
Mary Benton, of Elton, Durham,
England, is in her one hundred and
ty-eighth year. She cooks, wash
es, threads her own needle and sews
without spectacles.. What deal of
gossip she must have heard in her
time.-N. Y. Com. Adv.
No man can go down into the
dungeon of his experience and hold
the torch of truth to all the dark
chambers and hidden cavities and
not come up with a shudder and
chill as he thinks of the time when
he undertook to talk politics with
the deaf old father of his sweet
heart while the girl was present.
Gin. Break. Table.
The secret is out. Thousands of
writers have been trying to tell why
the times are hard and business de-
pressed. A writer occupies q COL
umn in one of our contemporaries
and reaches the conclusion that the
whole trouble in the business world
arises from the fact that great ma
ny people have not the money in
their pockets to buy what they
want. This has been a chronic diff
flculty since A. ID. No. l.
Captain Bogardus, in Bells life,
offers to shoot any ten men for
El,000. We trust the money may
speedily be raised. The captain,
doubtless, has some old grudge that
he would like to pay off so it would
be only fair to allow him to select
five of the men to be shot. If allow
ed to select the other five, we will
nominate Eli Perkins, Private al
zell, Segt. Bates, Daniel Pratt, and
DIR. Mary Walker.-Albany Eve.
Journal.