Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1878-11-16
DIR. RlaXer.

Max Adler in New York Weekly.
''He was 20 kind of a doctor for
an almshouse, anyhow" said the
Stewart, referring to the late resi-
dent physician of the institution.
"He hadn't the qualifications"
"How do you mean ,"
"Why, he'd get interested in
novel or something, maybe, and
he'd sit up there in his room and
never go near the paupers. And
I'd ask him if he wasn't going to
see the sick ones to-day, he'd look
up and say:
:" Pm not very well myself this
morning, Jones; s'posin' you just
step over and put mustard plasters
on the entire institution
$50 I'd have to obey orders, you
know, and I'd plaster up the whole
crowd, sick and well, and pretty
soon you could hear those paupers
bowling worse than a menagrie,
and see 'em hopping about as if
they were dancing plain cotilliOns.
But they had to bear it. Doctors
orders, you know; and there he'd
sit and read, and read, and read,
until he found if the heroine got
married or not; and the plasters
couldn't come off till he said so. 1t
was awful J"
"WaS he always that way: >"
"NOt always, of course. Some
times he'd practice on the paupers
to find out the effect of medicines.
One time he l0dled out a bucketful
OF paregoric among the inmates,
and put the whole crowd to sleep
for five days. Never walked up
once. 1t was like a graveyard,
only the snoring. y short time
afterward he gave them ipecac, and
for week there were eighty-tiVe
paupers going around with the
asthma, wheeling like an omnibus
horse with the heaves; and last
September he trepanned three
bald-headed paupers and set door
plates in the top Of their skulls.
Nothing at all the matter with
them, only ne said he thought they
would look nice with lids on the
top of them, and he wanted to
keep his hand in practice for the
operation"
] "Did the victims like it >"
/ Like it? Certainly they didn't.
But he was allowed by the direc-
tors to do what he pleased"
zone time, when he wanted a
bone for something or other, he
took a rib out of the side of tramp
from Mauch Chunk. Said the Oper-
alton was necessary to keep the
man from going into consumption.
He had the rib made up into sus-
pender buttons, | suspect. And he
used To experiment with TRANSMISSION
of blood, too. He would take blood
from an Irisman and put it into the
veins of a German, and rice reTSa,
until the Irishman at last could
sneak nothing but German, and the
i German talked with brogue. AL
WAYS trying some ridiculous plan or
other. / never saw such q man."
"Was he successful in his prac-
tice :'
"That depends on what you call
successful. If a man was real sick
:. and the nurse would 90 for DIR. Bla-
ger, the man would send of a fare
well message to his relations, tell
where he'd like to be buried, say
his last words and make up his
mind for the worst. He'd fit Off
before morning. In serious cases
the doctor was regarded as certain
death around here. | know when
| told the country undertaken that
he was going to leave, the under
) takpr sat down and cried like a
child. Said it wasn't right to take
the bread out of mans mouth in
such hard times as these. He got SO
: much for every burial, you know.
And one of the directors voted
straight along not to dismiss DIR
Blazer, because, the doctor said, there
, were too many paupers, anyhow,
and, if the number could be steadily
reduced by legal means, it would bc
a good thing for the taxpayers. Do
YOU know what / think: / think
/ Pdfather have Asiatic cholera in
nv family than to take DIR. Blazer
as a boarder. It's not half so dead
, ly."
"Why was he discharged ,"
: "Why. I'll tell you. 1t seems
/ that he was partner of one of the
, contractors for furnishing the poo r
, house with Victuals. He kept II
secret: but we all noticed that he
: used to go around with kind of a
: twO-hOrse power, dOuble-acting
stomach-pump. About three days
i'm the week he'd start in Ward No.
: l right after breakfast, and pump
! out every pauper clear through to
: Ward No. s. Consequence was the
inmates would be so raging hungry
, by dinner-tjme that they'd eat like
anacondas. After dinner out'd come