Smyrna times., 1878-11-06
Chowder.

-NoIlc Od' I"oIs are always TlEht
Centre of grayity-A Quaker meeting
Here's a Utah advertisement: To let rooms for
one gentleman and six wiyc,'
Somebody asks what language will he hpoLcn in
heaven. Why, the dcad language.
BE your own counsellor and have n fool f,r c,ion,
mats what lawyers will tell you.
1t is said that the late cold snap is liable to prove
fatal to the Connecticut nutmeg crop.
Only ring is necessary to engage a wife but moth.
ing short OF cash will secure good hired girl.
man is like an egg: the longer he remains in hot
water the harder he will be when he comes out.
A Western editor offers premium for a tale that
bald. AZ ="
" Free chops" is a sign hung out in Chicago. and
when poor fellow applies, he is shown a wood pile
4 good hearty laugh not only does good to the
hears him.
A Maine editor says that pumpkin grew 50 large
IN that State that eight men could stand round it
NJ doubt of il.
The sheep in the meadow and the axe in the
l2rest contribute each their chops for the support
OF luxurious man.
If you want ignnamus to look up to YOU dress TO
Kill wear watch-seals as large as a brfckbat That
Will fetch him, sure.
What's the difference between sailor shut up in
other can't 80 to sea.
Beer like the flea is subject to hons it is also like
bear, each is u 6rcip; and yet again. it is like
bird, being S1cdl1w
What part in play do drinking men like best?
me me tte, OF course Anybody could guess that
with their eyes shut
A thrifty housewife out in Newton thinks that men
| ought TO be useiul-thcy might as well be smoking
hams as smoking cigars.
An Alabama paper calls its political opponents
the cohorts of the archtiend' That's failure Try
again. Arch hend' is not good.
snodgrass doesn't believe early rising to be at all
natural lie thinks its with men with peas carly
! rising Is u matter Of forcing
1t very common for women to tell us that they
dislike handsome men, but You may be sLre is only
| 10 ugly men that they say So
e. Squire: Now, boys, what's the gender of egg"
sir you cant tell till it's hatchcd."
If there is exasperang object in the world it is
fat easy, sweet-tempered man. who is too stupid to
go into a passion, and is proud of it,
lawyer on Court street found twenty-five dollars,
and returned to the owner SnOdgraSs saws the act
was honorable, but not professional
Kansas teacher" Where does all our grain go?"
| Boy 1t goes into the hopper TeacherE"Hopper,'
What hopper Boy" Grass-hopper"
"I tell you Susan that will commit suicide if you
won't have me-" well Thomas as soon as Won give
me that proof of youraection will believe that you
love me-"
SnodgraSs says a who walks thousand miles,
in Il thousand consecutive hours may be fast man,
but hes no touch to the woman who keeps up with
the fashions.
A fashionable young lady accidentally dropped one
OF her false eyebrows in the opera-boX and greatly
frightened her beau who, on seeing it, thought it
| his mOuStaChe.
Who was the author of thatlittle poem beginning:
'TiS sweet to love but oh! how bitter
To love a girl and then not git herr
-Hdrper'S Weekly.
We were, and you know it.
lady lecturer on The Poetry of the Future -
announced that "t the epic of the coming poet will
throb with the pulse of the cosmos" That sounds
good; wonder what it means.
young miss, in answer to an advertisement,
"HOw to make an impression" sent on her 25c and
received, after days of suspense, the recipe
Sit down in pan of dough"
80" said lady, recently, to merchant, your
| pretty daughter has married a rich husband ~
We'll" slowly replied the father. belive she has
married a rich man, but understand he is very
| poor husband"