The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1878-05-31
WHAT THE WITS SAY.
Acorn in the woods is worth ten on

Acorn in the woods is worth ten on tn
feet. - Ktokude Constitution. E7*
| The Catskill Recorder speaks of a bit o
poetry "as placid as aplate of broker
hash.'' @s1 ll2t ~
+" Money" says the Boone Democrat "i'
the missing link between our subscriber.
and the editor s
| Oklahoma, the name of the proposed
new Territory, win be written o. K. fo
short.-Ne'o York Commercial.
"Charles asks !" How do medica
students get their skeletons?" They bone
'em, Charles.-Norristosc Herald.
Mackay, the millionaire, owes his success
it is said, to persistent recognition of the
motto, "Maekay while the sun Shines
lon1erS Gazette. ct 5.yasg g.r rss
The Detroit Free Press cracks lots Of lit
tie jokes concerning its fire.. And it don't
say word about this pi being burnt, either
London Adgertiser.
Mrs. Fremont's daughter, it is SAID, has
the most beautiful hand in America.
"Call" her, somebody, just SO we can see
what she has.--Erehange. 1911, Al.
An Iowa minister is on the way to an im-
mense fortune. He has invented chnrn
which is operated by rocking to and fro in
cushioned m-chair.-C -Courier-Journal.
"The Speaker raped order, the Congressman
When Glover remarked, I'll go fishing for fraud.'
He baited his hook with experts and mousers.
And caught all his friends by the seat of the
trousers."-Nea0 York Tribune.
A sunday-school boy, at Maysville, KY,
was asked by the superintendent if his IA
ther was Christian. eyes, sir" he re-
piled, "but he is not working at it much. !"
We judge that in "scriptural times wo-
men were navigators as well as judges, ru-
lers, &C.; does not the Old Testament tells
US about "the windows cruise. Omah q
Republican. ,..
Why do editors always say "we," asks
an exchange. Well, sir, for the same rea-
son that Frenchman uses that expression
when you ask him if he'll take a drink.
Boston Post. .1
Brigham Young probably left oyer a
million dollars behind him. That means
ninety cents on the dollar for the lawyers
and ten cents for the heirs.-Dstron F%ee
Press.
The streets of Paris are kept SO clean and
tidy that tine people who are run over and
killed do not look as mussed up as New
Yorker who slips on an orange peel-De-
troa Free Press.
A boy in Ohio has three eyes, one where
the left ear ought to be. This is mean.
the boys of other states can't have but two
eyes. Ohio gets everything under the pres
ent administration. Chicago Times.
These are the patheaic last words of the
Worcester Daily Press eve hope the tel-
low that sent us postal card with stop
my paper written upon it win be satisfied
this morning. We study to please"
In the faimished districts in China are
shops where human steaks are dealt out
and in demand, especially, the veal of the
young China. This is the case where the
child is ''fader" (fodder) to the man.-Er-
change.
A correspondent writes us if we believe
that the Marquis of Lorne really writes the
poems that appear over his own name.
We don't know positively but We should
think that man Of Lorne's fortune and
position would employ servant to do them
for him. He probably does Puck.
Sergeant Major: Now, private Smith,
you know very well none but officers and
non-commissioned officers are allowed to
walk across thisgrass ~ Private Smith :
=" But, Sergean.-Major, I've Captain
Graham's verbal orders to -" Sergeant
Major None O. that, sir ! Show me the
Captains verbal orders Show IN to me,
sir I" sg es s-az o.
The recent Sioux war cost the govern
ment two millions three hundred and
twelve thousand five hundred dollars.
And yet, we suppose, If you should put the
whole Sioux nation up at auction, it
wouldn't bring one hundred and fifteen
dollars. Hasekeye. The difference be-
tween the amounts represents the usual
percentage of the Indian agents. You
don't expect them to starve, do you
Cincinnati Commercial e &r