The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1878-06-15
PASSING SMILES.

SOME mourn more the shame which
sin brings, than the sin which brings the
shame.
"No, ma'am," said grocer to an APP
plicant for credit. al wouldn't even
trust my own feelings"
NAME your horse Jailer, and when he
runs away you can quote line of poetry
to him, viz Stay, Jailer, stay, and
hear my whoap
"YoUR dog, what does he want here2'
inquired dry-goods dealer of GUS
toner, whose big Newfoundland was up
setting things generally. "Muzzlin',"
was the answer.
A DOCTOR says whenever person
sneezes he should take a drink of water
and he will not catch cold. Some men
would rather chance the cold.-Break
fast Table.
A CHEAP way of getting credit for
liberality was devised by the managers
Of fair in Illinois, who offered pre-
MUM for the oldest spinster present.
Of course nobody claimed it.
THE Fat Contributor thinks that tides
were invented by Artistides, and the
Free Press supposes that Aristarchus
finished them up. Such are the melan-
choly results of high.school education
| Courier Journal
WILLIAM came running into the house
the other day, and asked, eagerly,
"Where does Charity begin?" At
home," was replied, Sin the words of the
proverb." "Not by good DEAL" re-
Joined the boy; dit begins at sea
(C)."
"THE girls of our day are very badly
educated" said one of the members of a
committee on education to the Bshopof
Gloucester. "That cannot be denied"
retorted his lordship. However, there
is one consolation, the boys will never
| And it out"
A MUDDY stream, flowing into one
clear and sparkling. for a time runs
along by itself. A little further down,
they unite and the whole is impure. So
youth, untouched by sim may for n time
keep its purity in foul company, but
they finally unite.
SOME people scorn to be taught; others
are ashamed Of it, as they would be of
going to school when they are old; but
it is never too late to learn what it is al
ways necessary to know; and it is no
shame to learn as long as you are
| ignorant that is to say, 80 long rs we
live.
In behalf Of tramps, il is mentioned
that Mr.. Smith, of STAN ord, Conn,
with his wife, got out of bed to answer
to the call of tramp. and that while
they were q ne there fell upon the bed
ma of mastering which would have
probably killed them both had they re-
manned.
A DISTINGUISHED professor of chemis-
try suggests that the nomenclature Of
that science might be drawn upon for
variety of pettyadditionst to female names.
Having himself family Of five girls, he
has named them respectively, ely
cerine. Pepsine, Ethyl, Me hyl, and
Morphia.
DID you ever tug at your whiskers
and mediate upon the tenacity with
which cause and effect have chased
each other through the centuriesf
Green apples made trouble with our
irst parents in the garden, and they
spare not the small boy of to-day
Breakfast Table.
AN editor wrote leading article on
the fair sex, in the course of which he
said: "Girls of seventeen or eighteen
are fond of beaus." When the paper
was issued, he was rather shocked 10 dis
cover that an unfortune typographical
error had made him say: "Girls of
seventeen or eighteen are very fond Of
beans"
A CONNECTICUT lover, young and
enthusiastic, who sang and played for
nearly two hours before the house of his
lady love the other evening, was electro
fied-that is, shocked-after short
pause, by cordial thank you" grace
fully pronounced by the "other fell
low" who appeared at the drawing
room window.
| A DISPUTE about precedence once
arose between bishop and judge, and
after some alteration the latter thought
he should confound his opponent by
quoting the following passage: For
on these hang all the law and the
prophets" DO you not see," said the
lawyer, in triumph, that even in this
passage of Scripture zoe are mentioned
first?'' "I grant you," said the bishop:
"you hang first"
EDIsoN's latest invention, the Nicot-
inograph, will be a blessed boom to
smokers. All that is necessary is to
when the flavor is taken up and pre-
served by the carbon in the receiver,
and by the electric action Of the four
cell battery is capable of indefinite re-
pr duction. Thenceforward it is only
II Al 49, I'll