The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-06-06
a1,ls)I5q5 -
PASSING SMILES.
SOME mourn more the shame which
sin brings, than the sin which brings the

SOME mourn more the shame which
sin brings, than the sin which brings the
shame.
WE esteem others not so much for
what they are worth, as for what they
are worth to us.
No, ma'am." said grocer to an ap-
plicant for credit. .sI wouldn't even
trust my own feelings"
NAME your horse Jailer, and when he
runs away you can quote line of poetry
to him, viz. "Stay, Jailer, stay, and
hear my whoaW
A ASUNDAY-scHooL child, being asked
why God made the flowers of the field, re-
piled, "Please, ma'am, 1 suppose for
patterns for artificial flowers"
"YoUR dog, what does he want hereT
inquired a dry-goods dealer of a Gus
toner, whose big Newfoundland was up
setting things generally. "Muzzlin',"
was the answer.
A DOCTOR says whenever a person
sneezes he should take drink of water
and he will not catch cold. Some men
would rather chance the cold.-Bredk-
fast Table.
THE Fat Contributor thinks that tides
were invented by Artistides, and the
Free Press supposes that Aristarchus
choly results of high-school education
C0urier-Journal.
SEVERAL years ago young man in
New Orleans put sum of money in
savings bank, and forgot all about it un-
til recently, when, after reckoning up
the interest. it was found that-the
bank had failed.
WILLIAM came running into the house
the other day, and asked, eagerly,
"Where does Charity begin?" cat
home," was replied, in the words of the
proverb." "Not by good deal," re-
Joined the boy; 'sit begins at sea
CO.,"
"THE girls of our day are very badly
educated" said one of the members of
committee on education to the Bishopof
Gloucester. "That cannot be denied"
retorted his lordship. However, there
is one consolation, the boys will never
find it out"
A MUDDY stream, flowing into one
clear and sparkling, for time runs
along by itself A little further down,
they unite and the whole is impure. So
youth, untouched by sin. may for time
keep its purity in foul company, but
they finally unite.
SOME people scorn to be taught; others
are ashamed of it, as they would be of
going to school when they are old but
it is never too late to learn what it is al
ways necessary to know; and it is no
shame to learn as long as you are
ignorant-that is to say, SO long as we
live.
In behalf of tramps, it is mentioned
that Mr.. Smith, of Stamford, Conn.,,
!. with his wife, got out of bed to answer.
to the call of a tramp, and that while
they were gone there fell upon the bed
mass of plastering which would have
probably killed them both had they re-
mained.
A DISTINGUISHED professor of chemis-
try suggests that the nomenclature of
, that science might be drawn upon for a
, variety of pettyadditionst to female names.
Having himself family of five girls, he
, has named them respectively, Gfy-
cerine, Pepsine, Ethyl, Melhyl, and
Morphia.
DID you ever tug at your whiskers
and mediate upon the tenacity with
which cause and effect have chased
Green apples made trouble with our
!, first parents in the garden, and they
spare not the small boy of to-day
! Breakfast Table.
r AN editor wrote a leading article on
the fair sex, in the course of which he
said: "Girls of seventeen or eighteen
are fond of beaus" When the paper
was issued, he was rather shocked to dis
cover that an unfortune typographical
f error had made him say: "Girls of
/ seventeen or eighteen are very fond of
b beans"
A CONNECTICUT lover, young and
. enthusiastic, who sang and played for
: nearly two hours before the house of his
: lady love the other evening, was electri-
y fied-that is, shocked-after a short
: pause, by cordial thank you" grace
> fully pronounced by the "other fell
6 low," who appeared at the drawing
= room window.
% A DISPUTE about precedence once
v arose betwee bishop and judge, and
v after some alteration the latter thought
e he should confound his opponent by
l. quoting the following passage: 'For
5, on these hang all the law and the
@ prophets" Do you not SET" said the
n lawyer, in triumph, that even in this
1t passage of Scripture zoe are mentioned
:, frst?' 81 grant you," said the bishop
Ie "you hang first"
is EDIsoN's latest invention, the Nicot
N inograph, will be blessed boom to
L. smokers. All that is necessary is te
r change it once with a ffty-cent cigar
le when the flavor is taken up and pre-
d. served by the carbon in the receiver
RS and by the electric action of the four
t, cell battery is capable of indefinite re
S. pr duction. 1henceforward it is only
4 necessary to supply the machine witt
~ Connecticut leaf and the smoke bear
rs the aroma of choice Havana.
III IN THE APPLE-TREE.
~ Right into the heart of it, why, Robini
Us Why, didn't you know that the apple-tree,
" When she gets her wonderful, fragrant blows
Is real spring-angel in wl.ite and rosef-
(Now hear him singing to mock at meh
n Why your nest is there, you darling Robin,
~, And your little brown lady is in there too
b. Faithl you've an EXQUISITE hrldal,room,
Upon q ground Of celestial blue.
=. Here's to your health, you blessed Robin,
Gu And the next Lest thing it must surely be
ny To being an angel in bliss above.
de To live with your little ones and your love,
a. In the cart Of blossoming apple-tree.
ck -Sprsaofeid Repsblicaa.
He thought to head off the volubl
barber Sitting down in chair he said
"I want a shave, a shampoo, a bath,
yo bottle of hair tonic, one of Florida water
ul a private cup and brush and sticl
M of cosmetique." The tonsorial artis
in was staggered for an instant. but quickl
en- recovering, he suggested that he wa
ng the agent for th~ new patent fexibl
d. steel-wire hair-brush, warranted to kee
Ill