The daily intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Territory [i.e. Wash.]) 1876-1881, 1878-11-12

believe one apple iz sweet, and the
one Oh the next tree il sour. / will
bet soverigns on this. but will give
emmy smart professor . span ov matcn-
ed mules who will tell me what makes
them so.
II yu settle with man for so cents
on dollar he il full az apt 10 call va
phool az philantbropis.. Funny,
amt it,
don't allow emmy man to beat me in
politeness; II there IL ono who thinks
he kan do it. let him try it on.
There are but fu men who are az
phoolish az they are thought to be, aud
less who are AZ wize az they think they
are.
The best way to tell q good oyster
from . bad one liz to eat it. The man
who kant tell the difference in this
way amt worth convincing.
What man IL the most afraid ov he
sez he don't believe in; this may &C.
kount for sum mems unbelieaf in
he'll.
Mature abhors vacuum, therefore
she fills SUN heads with sawdust.
The wizest man that the world haz
ever produced died ages ago. and the
biggest pbool asin't been born yet.
Buty il risky prerogative, it hsz
no positive merit. Ov its own, and IL
alwuss surrounded by dangerous para
sites.
1t il only step from the sublime
to the ridikilous, and it iz only the
very wizs who kan take the step. and
get back rgain.
The humility that prosperity array
itself in, il allwuss suspishus.
The hardest dollar for man to get,
il too often the one he needs The
most.
Az general rule judge OF q mans
vii tews, or vices, bI hiz opinyuns ov
ether people.
When a demokrat gifts rich he il
quite apt to wear hiz politikal princip-
les az y kind Of clekshun hollyday
suit.
kno now that / sm getting Old
kno it bi the great spstters Of soft
billed egg that find on my fresh shirt
buzzum after breakfast. and the chunks
of sassaRe. and loose pieces of bread.
and p = ze. that are froliking around
on IT, * mb-cloth at mi feet.
1lem who dies the richest IL the
ont VII, leaves. the most here, and
/! takes tie least with him
Tru philosophy. like tru philan-
thropy, IL work of deeds, not cords.
The vanity ov mankind il enuff to
dam them. even if they waz angels in
every other respekt.
There il lots of people in this world
wEo take joke just az children do
kastor lie, bekause they kant help
It.
The most disgusting kritter of the
whole lot to me IL the one who will
fill himself half full of cheap whisky,
and then insist upon being kon6den-
shall to yu in matters ov no earthly
importance, thus intensifying hiz natrsl
dsmsphoolishness.
When see q man who il over
anxious to prove ennything; am very
apt to think he amt very certain
about it himself.
sumtimes indulge in profanity aud
i wonder at il. for there is nothing
that 90 much regret in myself and
despise in others.
II you want to reduce q child's
genius, set him turning grind-stun
or wedding out onions.
The clever phellow who don't know
how to PLAZA game ov whist. even if it IL
q poor one, IL here on earth under false
pretences.
Men will admit that they are grow
ing old, but never that they are grow
ing phcolish.
l thank god that there is one thing
that money won't buy, and that 10 the
wsg ov dogs tail.
No man ever bekum great simply hi
acksident: acksidents has often opened
the way.
Men ov moderate abilities make the
most plexant companyuns men ov
great wit mite be kompared to great
fre-you kant get near enouf to it to
get warm without getting burnt.
The multitude gaze at the epausetts,
the few at the man who wears them.
Young men. what yu get in this
world yu have got 10 win. and mankind
are hard taskmssters and slo pay.
The great mistake that many folks
make Il. they are kontinually betting
on to morrow and letting to day 90
bi default.
The majority ov the virtew in this
world il negasiff-it il in the hands ov
people who, while they don't do emmy
hurt, don't do emmy good neither.
Most ov us are happy, not % much
bekause We have . horse aud buggy
to ride in AZ bekauss the orher phellow
haz got to 60 on foot.
have seen hipokrits who had reach
cd su,ch perfekshun in the b'zzness
that they could cheat themselves, but
could not cheat emmy boldly else.
people will only spend their time
in doing their duty in this world,
Heaven, and He'll. and hereafter. will
take ksrs Of itself.
Itiz eaxy euuff to learn BY expert
enos. but to profit bi il iz what's the
matter.
have seen men who had worn out
thcir vices, and suppozed ov courzs
that they were living on their vir-
| tues.
IAN not sstonded when | hear that
-, fallen Adam fell, and he Was