South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1878-06-21

cral hundred of our subscribers AMI the
editor.
~ Yesterday man waswriting an or
der for few things he wanted, when the
tradesman, glancing at memoranda m,
'wun half pond Of schott,' said, You
didn't spell shot right That's So said
the customer; put on mother t.
CV-A tender-hearted railway cngin.
eer says he never runs over man when
he can help it, because 1t muses. up
the track so.
A fashionable young lady dropped
one of her false eyebrows in q church
pew. and badly frightened ayoung man
next to her who thought it was his
moustachc.
W''What would you call model
Sundayschool?' asked the superinten-
dent of malcontent pupil, who had
threatened TO leave. We'll, one where
they pass around lemonade and cake
every Sunday, and don't have no less
ons..to learn. That's the har-pin Of q
school for me-
GV one CENT ON TIE DoLLhR.-
AS an illustration of the s, irit Of the
times was the following little family
scene, when bright four>year old Kit
tie lady was initiating. her elders by
playing making calls:'
Now, mamma, you be Niheth Donos
an FIJI be Mithcth, Smith, an tum an
make you tall
Mamma-'Very we'll, Mrs. Smith I'm
glad to see you; how do you do, and
how are all your children to,day?'
Totty-rm twite we'll tank YOU,
but the children has all dot the hoopin'
toff'
Mamma-Tm sorry to hear it. How
many children have you, Mrs. Smith?
'rotty-,Oh, has ten, and dcy is
great tyal to me VIII my houslleepin
Mamma-'They must be, indeed. But
how does your husband, Mr.. Smith
do?'
Totty-'IIe's very well, tank you
but he has hal bad dizziness. and he
hath failed
Dlamma-'I am sorry to hear thai
your husband has failed F.; bat you haven't
lost every thing. For see you make
calls in your own carriage?'
Totty-'Oi yes; tecp my tar riage
We have paid one cent on dollar, an
doze right on
The above is a fact.-Bostoa Com
n,eyCiaL BaHetia.
2@y-A Young woman, after receiving
ten notes in as many hours, sat dowl
with fury in her eyes to write an answe
that would wipe out his love making a
with sponge. But the little messen
ger boy softencd her heart by len arking
II you please, mum, don't write any
thing that would scare him so he won
send any more notes cause I'm gettn
five cents every trip this bad weather
lG7A large chicken entered the audi.
tory where the Methodist Episcopa
conference were holding session lht
other day at Atlanta, Ga. The preach
crs made great fun by giving chase
and proceedings were suspended for {
while, but the bird finally escaped un,
der the seats. 1t is very evident that
this was the first Methodist conference
ever held in Atlanta. Where these
conferences arc mostly held the chick
ems roost very high and have never
been known TO take enough interest in
tic proceedings to make n personal
call
E| Mr.. Fitzpatrick selected as the he
70 oil his story n shy young man oil
Scotland, who for fourteen years had
woocd the lassic Of his heart. One
night, Sammy, for that was the young
mans name, called 10 see Fanny, and
there was a terrible look about his eyes
Just as there is sometimes when they've
made mp their minds TO pop the ques,
ton. And Sammy came in and sat
down by the fire just as he had done
every Tuesday and Friday night Tor
fourteen long years, and lie talked of
a