Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1878-07-03
bill ARP"
An Old Time Humorist Reappears What
Ne Knows About Farming.
ATLANTA, Ga, Constitution. ]

W lllC. IL lllthtS hlC itCi
sortcr independent of my Majors.
They are nifty clever and kind, but
when l AK 'em about this thing and
that thing, | can see a suppressed
smile a playin' around as tho it was
amusin' how little | knowd. You
sec this is my fust year at the bisi.
ness, and all my late friends who
kindly predicted that me and my
folks would perish to dcth by the
fust day of June, has been watclin'
me afIr off, and they arc somewhat
disappointed. We did run alarm.
ingly short Of vittcls, that's fact,
and | rccken they heard of it, for
we havn't been afflicted with com.
pany to any great extent. We've
had hard time of it this spring,
shore. Sweet prospects, sweet birds
and sweet flowers was all around
us, but we couldn't eat en-. Sortcr
like that fellow who writ about wa.
ter-water everywhere but not a
drop to drink.
But | like farmin', nevertheless.
It's an honest, quiet life, and it
does me so much good to work and
get all over in SWEET of perspira
ton. | enjoy my tumble food and
my rcpose. and git up every mornin'
renewed and rciuvcnated like an
eagle in his flight, or words to that
effect. | know | shall like it more
and more, for We have already
passed over the Rubycon and are
beginnin to reap the rewards of in.
dustry. Spring chickens have got
ripe and the hens keep bloomin' on.
Over 200 now respond to my ole
oman's call every mornin' as she
totes around the brcadtray singin'
teheeky, tchecky, teheeky. | tell
YOU she watches them birds close,
for she knows the value Of EN-. She
was raised Methodist, she was,
and many time has watched thro,
the crack of the door sadly, and seen
the preacher helped to the last giz.
zard in the dish. There was "a
chickens, z ducks, ) goslins, II tur-
keys and Z pigs hatchcd ont last
week, and Daisey bad calf and
Molly colt besides. This looks
like business, don't it'll This is what |
call successful farmin'-multiplying
aud replcnishing according to scrip
81 ter. Then we have aplenty of peas
and potatoes and other garden verbs
which help poor man out, and by
the 4th Of July will have wheat
bread and biskit and blackberry pies
and will pass regular declaration
of independence.
Speakin' of potatOes-let me tel
Sou how my Majors watched me. Nc
and the boys was workin' away ~
a patch of rich mellow new ground
down in the bottom, and nabol
called and says he, "What you cal
culatin' on plantin' hcrc~ "Pota
toes,r says |. "Gwine to plant al
this in potatoes:- says he. "Yes,
says |, "and more too. | woult
plant ten acres if | had the seed.
Pretty soon it was narrated all owe
the settlement that l was runhir
nothin' but potatoes on my farm
and it got to Rome that | had plant
ed II barrels and was still at
when the Teller left. And so m.
late friends shook their heads know
ingly and remarked, IL told you sc
He don't know that horses and hog
can't live without corn"
Well, | have planted about te
bushels in the fresh, loose solfon Tn
creek, and nobody ever saw fine
ones or more of EN- to the quantity
| didn't plant 'em in the dark Of til
moon, either. Let the iunatics pr
that in their pipes and smoke !
One of my Majors won'tlay the worl
of a fence unless the moon is ju:
right, and another says he notice
for 40 years that it's nifty apt to raj
sometime within three or four tia,
before or after the moon quarter
"Jesso," says I, ''jesso.'
But they do git the joak on II
sometimes, and l sorter blame yt
with it, Mr.. Editur, for you see L
farmin' accordin' to your schedul
and you don't make things exact
luminous. Fur instance, you 50
that cotton seed was an excelle
fertilizer. Well, had 'em, and
they was a clean nice thing to ha
die, put 'em under most everythil
in my garding. l was a runnin'
yum sets heavy, and one morn
y went out to perusc 'em, and ! s.
the straight track Of big mole
der every row. He had jest hist
'em all mp about three inches.
hadn't eat nary one, and thinks l
myself, he's jest goin' around sm'