The Osceola times., 1878-03-30
Our Grandfather's Days.


warmed grandiathers slippers and put
them on his feet, belated peddlsr came
along with a patent five. barred gate to
sell. The servant told him that the
family was not only we'll supplied with
gates, but that every horse on the farm
had a gate of bis own. The peddler
moved on with a sigh.
The parable Of the peddler and the
five-barred gate" said grandfather,
"serves to show us the inferiority of the
present race of bipeds who infest the earth
to>day and call themselves men, as COM
pared with the rugged sons of toll who
lived in my generation"
"Tell us about them" cried the
children, who had gathered about his
knee.
That's what I'm trying to do, amt
it :" said grandfather, and he glsred
savsgely over the groap Of upturned
faces. Grandfather despises to be inter-
rupted.
"That peddler, if he shows no more
backbone and enterprise at other places
than he did here, will probably pack his
psten. 6ve-barred gate into eternity
without taking an order. After grsdu
ated from college nv parents wanted
me to be doctor or lawyer. They LETT
the matter to me, however, and choose
to introduce into society patent squirt>
car, cockroach and bedbug poison COM
| bined.
"To show the wide difference between
my vigorous style of pushing business
and this go-easy manner of the lstter-day
patent five-barred gate gentry, | will
give you little insight into my style,
in the days when we were young,
Maggie, so to speak,
"The combined squirt can, cockroach
and bed,bug poison, of which was the
sole agent, was an excellent article for
the household, but it required pushing.
| never allowed myself to be put of with
a servants ruse, as was the man with the
| ive-barred gate. sson learned that
success depended on getting in the house
and making n short but eloquent speech
on the merits of the article direct to the
F. family. In those days, as now, servants
were instructed 10 admit no peddlers
| This did not trouble me much, but it
gave me sOme additional WORK. As, for
| instance:
| "When servant would come TO open
the door in answer to my ring, your
grandfather would be on the alert, and,
as soon as it was opened enough to admit
my arm, your grandfather would
reach in, seize the servant by the
throat and drag her out upon the stoop.
There | would explain matter to the
gentle gazelle. | would tell her | was
an officer Of the government, armed to
the teeth. Ia accordance with AL act oi
congress was introducing patent squirt
can, cockroach and bedbug poison COM
bined. | would tell her had not
dragged her out of doors and choked her
until she was black in the face because
loved to do such things. My DISPOSE.
tion is as sweet as the sucking doves.
Anybo in the employ Of the govern
ment could tell her that. 1 was obeying
instructions from headquarters Gov.
ernment appreciated the necessity of
keeping cockroaches and bedbugs in a
state of subsection. As its agent ! am
instructed to enter every house in this
brosd land, peaceably if possible, ,iorcibly
il necessary, and sell the inmates the
wonderful squirt can, etc, at the rate of
fifty cents y can, or three cans 70. 81 with
printed direction on every lalel Then I
would assume fierce aspect and bid her
HE around to the back yard and stay
there until | cOnsummated my trade.
As she shot around the corner my part
ing words always were, And ha.k We
II you make any cutlery or sound any
slarum Of distress, III seek you out and
L Il t,x1I - hN hat H.
forty men here before tomorrow morning
to buy your hide for fish net Then
ysur grandfather would enter the house,
tell the folks that the servant had been
kind enough to show me IN, salute them
right and left and make my pretty little
speech This was always delivered with
such fine effect, together with practical
application of the wonderful contents of
| the can whenever cockroach or bedbug
showed his head, that only failed to sell
my preparation to those families who
intended moving in the spring. and
Cleared 81, 900, 900 in year"
Here grsudfather's head fell forward
on his breast and he began to snore. The
children shook him up, and begged that
he would tell them shout his pretty
speech,
"I'll speech you" shouted grandfather
a. he shook the children off OF him "Tf
you don't mind your business now and
let me sleep when | want to, ri Gu.
every one OF you in 70 shosstrirgs"
After q few minutes had elapsed,
mamma ssid she could not nn lerstaud
bow some people could tell yuea awful
stories - they did, and be able 10 sleep
wink in . lifetime"
Papa aid be supposed they 70. used 70
It. foil City Derrick.