The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-04-18
EVERY DAY sPICERIEs.

Aootl
Together reign above.
EVERY DAY SPICERIES.
A NEAT foot-A cows foot Worces-
ter Press.
MTTTER than the sword Cheese
Courier-Journal.
A FOOL and his fathers money are
soon parted.-Pic. -. z 4
A ROLLING mill-A fight in the gut
ter Utica Herald s''
STILL waters run for fifteen cents
glass; Worcester Press.
No one seems to banker for the, tic
doloureux of our daddies. - Rochester
Democrat. sa.s
THE time to buy new hat-When
the band begins to play Cincinnati Sat
urday Night.
The wise man laugheth at joke, but
the fool goeth off on his ear about it,
Rome Sentinel.
NEVER strike a man when he is down
unless you can't lick him any other
Way Philadelphia Chronicle.
EVERY living thing was put into this
world for some good; even the crow was
not made without caws.-Com. Btiiletfn.
JENNIE Jusr married Mr.. Russ re-
Gently. She was Just before she was
Jennie Russ.-C Cincinnati Saturday Night.
A YOUNG lady rebukingly asks us:
/" Which is worse, to lace tight OF to get
tight7" We give itup-we never laced.
-Elnird Gazette. ss
IT is either great grief or great
ioy that drives men into the lecture field.
Chicago journal. But generally q
great jaw.-C Commercial.
LADIES must not read this: ~ pSsI
pus uAop sd!sdn s!q4 uIn9 U!A uAo4
sIq4 III usmoA GIeAe 4sql 4sq o. IsIlop IeA
lis Asu qo5 ga. A.sM.-Cdmken Post.
THERE is a railroad superintendent
out West who is SO opposed to the pass
system that he never passes q saloon
without stepping in to get a drink
Cincinnati Saturday Might.
AS among the things physically possi-
BILE, it is now considered easier for a
camel to 90 through the eye of a needle
than for rich man to make will that
cannot be broken.-Nesc York Mait.
Z An exchange says that the kingdom
of heaven has a door SO low that all
must stoop to go in. We suppose that's
the reason why "short" man can get
in so much more easily than rich one.
Worcester Press.
BEFORE Boston goes entirely crazy
over that female barber she ought to
pause a little between beans and rumin-
ate upon the trouble Samson got into by
letting a woman cut his hair.-Cincir-
natl Breakfast Table.
= WHEN Jonah interviewed the whale
And haunted his Intervals
As erst 1t is recorded in
The truthfulest Of journals,
What monarch did be symbolic?
a far-fetched joke you'll style it)
It seems to us he might have been
THE public seldom desires to pry into
a mans domestic affairs, but after
regular patron of street car line has
eaten his onions three times day for
about six months, men will begin to in
quire if his potato crop failed. Detroit
Free Press.
RELIGIOUS papers are discussing the
question, How shall we interest the
Young at churchp Offer tickets, good
for admission to the first circus of the
season, to such boys as are most pune
tual and regular in attendance Worces-
ter Press.
WHEN you speak evil of another, you
must be prepared to have Others speak
evil of you. There is an old Buddhist
proyerb which says, He who indulges
in enmity is like one who throws ashes
to windward, which comes back to the
same place and covers him all over"
A STUMP speaker was eulogizing GER
tain general who was q candidate OF his
party for an important Office. On the
battlefield" he said, he was ever found
where the bullets were the thickest." 1t
was afteward learned that on four occa-
sions the officer had crept into the am
munition wagon.
PUNs are plenty just now White
hall Times. Yes, but we haven tn0tlced
that they are excel-lent-Fulto Times:
They are altogether too prevalent, and
not at all opu-lent in wit. The forego-
ing for instance.-Norristoacn Herald.
They are not even sufficiently juicy to be
succu-lent.-Neao York Mail.
sss HEAR the beIl-punch withiss bsais-
| MpBet beIlsf
| o, what slew of revenue their melsdy foretensi
How they jingle jingle, jingle, in the garing air Of
| While the breakers, twain and single,
By the ingle mingle, minge, as he stirs them with
with a spoon, spoon, spoon, spoon,
| Spoon, spoon, spoon, spoon,
i With the circumbobulation Of the spoon.
-E A. p. IA the Graphie.
| A DANBURY boy of a pugnacious turn
was taken to task by his mother for
striking companion. She told him he
must ask the forgiveness of the wronged
one. He went up to him, having his
back to his mother, and whispered
through his clenched teeth: GIVE gel
to ask you to forgive me for hitting you
and you'd better speak right up at onct
that you do, or I'll give you something
to remember" The victim spoke up
Danbary Ne,cs.
THE Washington reporters are telling
in the newspapers that Mrs. Hayes ha
only two spare bedrooms in the Whit
House and thatlately che has many younI
} lady visitors who have not only to doubl
up, but sleep three in q bed. How tn
rascals found this out is very puzzling
IL Mr.. Hayes told it he is very wicked
!, and no one believes that Mrs. Haye
would mention such a state of poverty
Think of three national guests in on
: bed! 1t is scandalous.-Bto Bloomington Ey
) WHAT we need in this country is
: kind of weather that won't ruin tn
: peach crop,-a kind that, with all ou
3 infinite variety, we do not now seem
, have. Very soon after Christmas th