The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1878-05-15
WIT AND HUMoR

f1codoa y PUP. Pc ..- .
How to make oornerloahna unpopular
CAN IL work, and pay Young men wages for
doing Il.
Tn young lady who wants to drown her
sef about these days should be careful to
bundle up warm and take along q hot brick,
as the water is very cola.
A harrsssed husband thinks IL the dress
maker would trim his wife's dresses less and
the butcher would trim his meat more, he
could meet his obligations better. 2
A Philadelphia shoe merchant wrote to
his wife that he bad become q convert to
cremation, and she said: $50 ahead ; have
your ashes returned @. o. D. to me-" o.
Cleveland young women write comments
on the margin Of the library novels they
read. One emotional creature writes :
"The pangs of love are CRATE / have ben
there my self"
Hearing that the Spitz dog was most lia-
bic to have the hydrophobia, 4 generous
Chicagoan has just presented one Of these
useful and affectionate creatures to his wife's
maiden sister, who lives with him.
A codntryman bargained with q Califor-
mia photographer for q half Length picture
Of himself at half price, and the artist de-
Ivered Q fne view Of the subject from the
waistband down.
A renchman is about opening a "Hy-
mental Academy" in Covington, KY, in
which young ladies will be taught the mar.
riage service, with all the proper sobs, signs
and Mysteries in three easy lessons.
A negro ZELDA COW while q cross-eyed man
was to knock her on the head with an axe.
The darkey, observing the mans eyes, in
some alarm, inquired "You gwine to hit
where you look?" "Yes." "Den," said
Cufee, "hold this COW yourself"
A Newark saloon-keeper separated from
his wife, agreeing to supply her with five
dollars q week but when she dropped into
his saloon with q strange man, a few days
after, and coolly ordered lager for two, it
was too much for him and there was trouble.
As a stern-wheel steamboat was passing
up the Ohio River the other day, o little
girl who was standing on the hotel stoop
nan into the house to her mother, calling
out /: "Mother! mother! come and see this
s~teamboat-its got q hustle on!"
Forty years 6 there was a man in Bos-
ton who had six or seven very c~orpulent
daughters. When asked how many children
he had, his answer was generally something
Of this kind az have three boys and about
thirteen hundred weight Of girls"
The bad women Of Chicago are not afraid
to OWL it. When Moody called for them to
come forth, o thousand females responded.
Had he called for all the blacklegs, not more
than half the Aldermen would have been
present
Once In o great while q mean man sits
down and writes about as follows of De-
troit They do say that a New York nrm,
which shipped q lot of extra large ear-mufs
TO Detroit last week, got them all back by
he next train, with the remark that there
NO call for SO many children's Sizes"
The story that Grace Greenwood's hus-
band has applied for o divorce because his
fellow-clsrks in the Patent Office persist in
him "Mr. Grace Greenwood" is au-
thoritativeiy denied. It is Grace herself
Who wants to be divorced. She took young
Lppinoott, who is several years her Junior,
10 bring up as Q husband. and has been dis
appointed in him.
The paternnl author Of an heiress was ap-
by a youth who requested Q few
moments conversation in private, and be-
gan: ~ was requested to see you, sir, by
POUR lovely daughter. Our attachment"
g Young man." interrupted the parent,
ct don't know what that girl Of !
is about. You are the fourth gentle
who has approached me this morning
the subject. I have given ny consent to
he others. and give it to you; God bless
rou."
A boy came down Linwood Aven6e on
he rush q few nights since, and, in an eI-
manner, said that there were o lot of
lights in the Jewish burial ground. Half a
dozen scientific men, four l~oafers, and q dog
started of to see them. The graveyard was
Is dark as such places usually are. Where
are the lights }" asked a big nan Of the
boy. The y~oungster backed Of to a safe
distance, and yelled out Underground;
they are Israelites!" He then ran for his
life Journal.
AABatcOuo PiuiuocI EhS Ut iubt Deth
discovered, and, Of all the unsupported
places in the world, in Boston. Sent for
Sunday by a resident of the modern
Athens, whose water-pipes were frozen, the
shouldered his Exit" went to the
house and removed the difficulty. But when
he citizen wanted to pay him he firmly re-
fused, remarking that while he could not re.
Iuse to obey such a call on Sunday, as de-
ny often caused damage, he could not con
lcientiously accept money for work done on
hat day.
The merry jingle of the sleigh-bells, says
he Brooklyn argus, the sparkle of the
crystal snow in the lambert light of the
moon, and the confiding creature that
aestles closely to him beneath the buffalo
'obes, tenderiy clasping his left hand in
hers while his right holds the reins, consti-
the winter nights poem that is floating
the doting lovers soul and leave
aim in doubt whether to let go long enough
get his handkerchief out, OF draw his
across his nose.
At youngstown, Ohio, a young man and
young lady have made a bet. The Yin
Iieator says: 1.-THE girl being a Tilden man,
her lover q Hayes man, she made the
following proposition, which was perfectly
legitimate, this being leap year: II Tilden
vas elected, the young man was to marry
he girl. II Hayes was elected, the girl
vas to marry the young man. The couple
ire in q terrible state of suspense. Every
light they each get a daily paper sustaining
heir political belief, and compare notes.
Chau cannof dacide who Ia 10 ma.ru xhial,