, 1878-07-20
Miscellaneous.

Maid Of mnncy--a young hrircSs.
The uglirst hood ever worth False
hood.
Washington couldn't tell a lie when
hc saw it.
A fool and his fathers money nre so"n
parted
The man who gives you the slip---ihe
church usher.
Gcorg. Washington was first in war
lccansc he married widow.
Snodgrass, speaking Of that hot place,
calls II that warm by.nnd by.
Envious people punish themselves Tor
bring inferior 10 their ncighbors.
Doctors never allow ducks on their
premises-'hey make such personal re
marks.
It's hardly the thing ,o tell dnmspl
who prihrs herself on the little boot she
wears that she Is large solrd woman
Il has just hcrn discovered that tho
quality Of humor Is not siraincd. This
accounts for It's teo frequent conrscncss.
Nations don't blow around for three
months il they mean fight Come, Vic
tOria, you and the Gar take some suda
water and make up.
A rolite man is one who listens tp
things he knows all about when they are
told by ~ person who knows nothing
about them.
The $50, 900 monument to Gen. John
E. Wool and wife Is soon to be erected
IN Troy. 1t Is to he Of granite, fashion
ed like an ohelisk, and will have an in
scripton by Bryant.
The total length of gas pipes in the
new Opera at Paris is over fifteen and
half English miles; that of the Vienna
Opera Honse, seven and half. Often
times from 2'OO0 100000 gas flames are
required for lighting the stnge alone
A mother was explaining the origin
OF things to her little daughter, IIav-
ing been toll that God made the earth,
the child asked "who made God q
When the mother hesitated n moment
for an answer, the child said . II sup
pose he blissercd right OUT
Napoleon was ono day searching for a
book in the library at Malmsison and at
last discovered it on n shelf somewhat
above liis reach Marshal Money, who
was prcscnt-on" Of the mrgest meu in
the army stepped forward, saying,
Permit me-, sire, am higher than your
majesty" Your are longer, Marshal"
said the Emperor, with frown.
What was your business ~ asked nm
attorney Of u witness in the police court
yesterday. Il was soldering was the
reply What do you mean by soldier
ing ~ "Soldiering,' repeated the wit
ness. We'll, what is a soldier ? thats
Nhnt ! want to know" said .hc attorney.
well said the witness, ~ soldier is
one Of them fellows who gets thirteen
dollars a montlh to be targets fnr Indians
to shoot at"
a man in New Orleans has invented d
process Of manufacturing mirrors wnich
it is claimed is destined to take tho
place OF the quicksilver process. In ten
or iiiteen minutes the substance used in
place OF fquickslyer is made to adhere /,
the glass, and the cost OF the substance
is not more than one tenth that orquick-
silver. Any one can couvert,a piece of
ordinary glass into n mirror alter nc
quanting himself With ehe process.
A sagacious st Louis cat observed
that Two OF her kittens were invariably
saved aad the rest OF them thrown into
The Mississippi Again lvcop,ing hap.
ry mother, she hil twn OF her babies ia
an "nthon'e aud carried the rest in "A
different direction, Investigation prov
rd that She deliberately took them to
the ;iycr aud threw them in, evidently
preicrr'ng To select herself the kittenA
she wi.br,l To- Faar.