The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1878-08-09

MINERS at dinner rest on their ores.
MoTTo for the married-Never dis
pair.
A LoNG-HEADED man is not apt to be
head-long.
AN eye-deal waterfall-A cataract in
the eye.
ONE may live in basement without
being in abasement.
BAY windows are safe harbors at
night for little smacks.
DOESN'T the baker encourage idleness
when he makes penny leaf9
AN Oil. Citizen, formerly sea-Cap-
tain, shook off book-agent by yelling,
"Man OVERLOOKED -
WHEN tooth begins to feel as if there
was a chicken scratching at its root, it's
time to pullet out.
A GOOD boy may not become hand
some man, but nice bonnet surely be-
comes pretty woman.
How TO preserve the purity of the
ballot box-Lock the box up in fire.
proof safe and throw away the key.
A ST.. Louis girls foot thoroughly
heated through this summer will be
better than hot brick in bed next win
ter.
EVERY plain girl has one consolation.
Though not a pretty young lady. she
will, if she lives long enough, be pref
ty old one.
RED is used for danger. signals on the
railroads, and always means "stop." On
a woman's nose it ought to give the same
warning.
"WHAT is faith ?" asked a Sunday
school teacher of q boy scholar. He be-
longed to nine, and replied "Betting
on left-hauded pitcher"
"WELL, Jake, how's your brother
Abe getting along?" ooh, first rate
got good start in the world. Married
a widow, who has got nine children"
WHAT is the difference between a
provident widow and wife who talks
about her "iege lord2" One husbands
her means, and the other means her
husband.
cts poor rule that won't work both
ways" is supposed to have originated
with the schoolboy who took the rule
away from his teacher and knocked him
down with it.
"WHAT shall the harvest bee ?" sung
the boy, with the cuticle of the broadcast
part of his back feeling as if 400 Spanish
fly blisters had been applied to the same
spot. Chicago Commercial advertiser.
.'CoME, wife" said viii, 81 pray you devote
Just half minute to mend this coat.
| Which nail has CHANGED to rsnd."
| "'ris ten O'clock" said his drowsy mate,
al know" said Will, " it is rather late,
But it's never too late to mend.'
A GENTLEMAN carried letter of intro
duction from a friend to stranger. The
stranger received him coolly, and showed
him the door, A little investigation
showed HIM the reason. The letter
said: "Treat him like trump" but
the stranger read it, Treat him like
tramp"
GIN saddest when sing" resounded
loudly above the banging of piano at
tuned to woe. eff that's the case, il
seems to me i wouldn't MARBLE quite SO
much, if was her," said the next door
neighbor, as he calked up the crevices
and pushed the cotton further into his
ears. Cincinnati Breakfast Table.
On the Fourth native American was
upbraiding naturalized German for
|
The German replied: "You, sir, are
an American from necessity; L am one
from choice. And besides, sir, when
you came into the country, you hadn't
stitch of clothing to your back, while
1 was comfortably clad" The American
has been thinking about it ever since.
THE boy stood squarely on the base
| Already two were cut
| IN, hat lf.,ht htof fac
| shone round about his snout.
| The boy, he raised the ash aloft
| And called for one hip-high,
| The pitcher put II in red-hot-
| 1t bit him in the eye.
| Again the gallant youth stood up,
| Determined he would score;
| The next one hit him in the stomach
He playeth ball no more.
Relatives and friends are invited to at
tend without further notice.-Boston
Post.
AT an evening party lady was called
upon for song, and began: III
strike again my tuneful Tyre" Her hus-
band was observed to dodge suddenly
and stsrt hurriedly from the room, re-
marking: "Not if know it, she won't.
She belts blue blazes out of me at home,
and stand it like man, but when she
threatens to hit me in a strange house.
and calls me q liar before whole crowd,
I'll run as long as / have spark OF
manhood left"
| Oh for some cool, outrageous spot,
| Where 1t isn't so dog-goned awfuly hot;
| Where the-where the where the-where tne-
Where theft could-where tbe-where-
| Oh for some cool, outrageous spot
Where II isn't so everlastingy hot;
| some place where the-the-the-where the-
Where the-some place where the-some-
To-. .I.xuxr