The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1878-09-27
SAYINGS OF THE pARAGRAPuERs.

.#ENW II lg----SfI OF f3IF%3I
"a horse can be educated to smoke
and carry a cane, but he can't stand at
a corner and leer at lady predestrians." !"
No, but asses can.-,S. Louis Tines.
In an exchange we find an article
about a fnother-in.law, and In ibeauti-
full hRruony tho next item is headed,
|TThe Storm Elsewhere. -. Rochester,
n"SpssSS-s QsS"-s dig5l 4bt1ad rgit h.,r lS,as hi
Still another Wisconsin baby has
been born with three legs. Talmage's
salary. VIII be reduced II competition
keeps on In this way.-N. Y. Herald.
The wolf, says tho Russian proverb,
changes its hair every year. The
ladyI,of, the period does better she
changes hers every aftcrnoon.--Ne,c
Rhcen Register.
|Tg A Chicago man had the Jim; jams
the other night and enough snakes
We're found In one Of his boots to start
out seven new circuses OH the road.
This Is reliable.--X. Louis Jo,aTal.
That North Carolina duel between
the Rev. Wade Hill and his son-in-
law, In which the latter was Killed,
is further proof that 1t Is n dangerous
thing to tackle a man who Is trying to
be good.--Det,'eit Free Press. fls.t no,
| Nothing thrills the female clerk in a
\ country postofiice with greater satisfac-
| ton than to get hold of q postal card
contafping 1000 words-that is, II they
are written in R'leglble hand, and tho
i person to whom the card Is addressed
is not waiting for it.-,N. Louis 2Inaes,
r. Violet Fame sings In the London
World, 81 do not dread an altered
heart" No indeed, Violet, an altered
heart is nothing to dread, for you can
easily alter a club to beat It., but an
al tered one, Violet, altered from a ten,
that's what makes your pocket-book
lsick.-B,p2i,.gton Hatck-Eye. ,...
lcountry, saw n turtle for the first time,
land made up his mind to capture it.
The turtle caught him by the finger,
land, holding 1t out at arms length,
he said "FNith, and ye had better
loose the how'll ye have, or I'll kick
We out OF the box ye sit in, be jabers."
The Rochester Democrat speaks of II
town In that State MS s'sleepy In it's old
lage, and no longer vital with the hum
fof traffic or the merry sound OF tho
y stage horse.'' OF course the editor
wrote it astage-horn." 1t is II little
7 singular the compositor should have
I taken 50 many sshorns" Of his own as
TO mistake that of the editor for a
thorsc. .J .,,...,..,.,.
q "A little boy hearing some one re-
mark that nothing was quicker thar
o thought, said, "1 know something
d that is quicker than thought" "Wha
>. Is it Johny?" asked his pa. "Whis
Ting" said johnny. "Whon was il
school yesterday i whistled before
thought, and got licked for ii, too."-
g. Cincinnati Saturday Night. ..'''
- Visitor to Sunday School, addressing
y the chiitircn-What is tho ostensible
IS object of Sunday School instruction
:. No answer. Visitor = What is tn,
I" ostensible object Of Sunday School in
> struction? No answer. Visitor
: What is the ostcnsibIc object of Sunday
2 School instruction Small boy lin F.,
feeble voicc)-Ycs, sir.-Iid6uno. ...
# Philosophers say that closing the
o eyes mako hearing more acute. Cler
!. tgymen, however, should speak louder
q 1t looks rather suspicious to see hall
the congregation sitting with closed
!. eyes, in order that they may the more
, distinctly hear the sermon--especially
I rs many Of them fail to open their eyes
Z when the contribution basket is showed
under their nosc.-No,Tisto'o Jo,ont,l