The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1878-07-11

in addition, there are book agents.
HOLLAND is a great place for towns
with swear at the end of their names.
Our in the Black Hills tie jack.
rabbits are called narrow-gauge mules.
HAPPY is the man who can lie all day
under shade tree looking for work
| Picayune,
THF phonograph repeats everything
it hears, and will throw thousands OF
people out IF employment.
No one has been able to explain why
il is that man feels he is more likely
to get up in time in the morning by
Keeping his watch or cleck half an hour
fast.
lr Edison would get up little phono-
graph for dollar that would simply
say, "Come around about the 10th, it
would have big sale among business
men.
VAT r monster language" says
Frenchman. " Here ! read in re news
papers aat man commit n murder who
was committed for trial and zen commit
ted himself to a reportair. No wonder
everything in America is done by com
mitee."
On sultry Sunday morning the pas
tors little girl, OF nearly three summers,
became wcaried at the length OF the ser
mon, and in a low tone OF voice, butvery
earnestly, said, to the great amusement
oI those who rat near, Come, papa
that's enough. Let's 90 home
OBITUARY Why is the ben immOr
tai? Because her son never sets st.
4 Louis Globe Democrat. Wrap its little
! pen around it fold its humor On its
,, breast; since we know the Globe has
found 1t, let us give that Joke rest.
Aged sixty.fve years st. Louis Jour
nal.
SHE (bewitchingly)-"Oh Pm so glad
you are going to see me to my carriage,
Mr.. Brown w He thattered) -" Indeed .
And may | ask Why" She-"Oh, be-
cause the girls are 30 jealous, and want
to prove that do not monopoli2e all the
good looking men"
ADVERSELY exasperates iool', defects
towards, draws out the faculties Oi the
wise, puts the modest woman to the
nece. sity of trying her skill, awes the
opuent, and makes the idle industrious.
Much may be said in favor OF adversity,
but the wors. OF it is, it has no trientS.
WwuAr is the difference" said she,
| " Between The moan and YOU
| al cannot tell my treasured one
| said he. with intTest new.
"Ihe difference IL this said she,
| with satire OF lunius,
| "Tha moon hath silvery quarters, love,
While you are lmpecuntNus
, ri N0nkers Gazette
IFAdam could Tor ten minutes come
to lite, would he recognize the old place,
the same old city lots, the same old LEM
: ons, oranges, figs, elephants, snakes, dan
delions, lie plant, peanuts, sas.airas and
, persimmons that be used to name up
and chalk down? All would be gone.
He would recognize naught. But II he
happened to wander into the negro min
l. streis, he would hear the same old joke.
! A STORY they tel! in Europe: :" An
American lady, while at Rome, managed
to secure an invitation to court ball
4 and while there was approached by
Prince Humbert-nOw king-who adj
:, dressed her some polite speech. She did
r. not rise as is etiquette, but, pointing
with her fan to vacant chair near,
said: You must be tired, prince
won't YOU set down and rest your trotters
awhile?'
tie A LADY from Excelsior Mich, re-
y. Gently related her experience III shoe
is ing hens" The object ID to prevent
of their scratching. She makes boot or
g, stocking, of stout cloth, and ties It On
to the feet Then the fowls are let loose
lie into the garden and fields, and they kill
K OF the insects, but do not injure the
e. crons in the least. 1t is amusing TO ses
n them walk, as though they were treadins
of ON eggs, at first. but they soon become
st accustomed 10 1t.
ID In relation to fast setting under diff
10 culties the following story is told by Al
3, old compositor: "You may talk abou
K setting up type in rush and maxim.
u fast time, but when | was young and m
. fingers were nimhle and my elbows lin
ber, used TO be counted pretty goo
compositor | remember tna night /
particular when | set three thoussn
ems an hour out OF bsg by moonligh
T. and had to tsFe every letter to the vi
70 dow to see what it WAS.
M SuBsrRACrED MEErINGs.--The Pres
N dent of the Board "i School Directors
"a one of the rural townships OF COlumbl
a. county, Pa, lately became exercised J
er reference to the propriety OF opening u
or school houses OF the district, for the pill,
pose o. holding religious meetings q
called q meeting o. the ooSaJ " ,b, =
u s. aos.Ob =. ~ .somsd somewhat embarrassed a, 4,
Ice to the proper mode o. ,;a ,,'s ~ PAPER az. anI
he He oslly ~, ''SI In favor v Of .uSsiIacie!
en- wrote, nis', ,.scopd, aIn favor OF sgaia's
ed meet,ns; wssIiu's; !" and requested
at suo-s.IaUihen .~,hsr, Of the board to vote ~
marking.