Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1878-09-06
f u n 2

with one of those sugar loaf hats, modelled
after Fra Diavolo's in the play no doubt,
came on board the Staten Island Ferry
hoat Wcstfeld last evening. In her train
was a weary looking, middle-aged lady,
whom she treated with condescension and
called stAuntie." After the young lady
had found a comfortable seat in the bow
of the boat she allowed her aunt to take
cam, -sto0 near by. When the boat star
ted she Began systematic method of tor
tnre tewhich the middle aged lady sub
mittd with wonderful ignation.
sss that wa 81, Auntie ?'' she asked,
nothing to the bay.
yes, DEAR said the weary looking la
day
Did the rain made all that water ?''
No, darling"
.sWhy didn't the rain make all that wa
r?''
s:Oh the rain wouldn't fleet it, you
Know"
''Why don't the rain feet it ~
ooh, you can't understand that now"
"Why Can't I understand it ?"
ssNever mind do keep still, that's a
dear; auntie'S head aches."s
''What max your head ache, auntie ?"
''The heat, suppose
"What makes the heat ?''
1.-The srn, of cou1se, DEAR"
What is the sun %
''You know what the sun is well enough,
l shant answer that
The little girl twis' I'd une: sly in her
chair for moment and then burst out
with the question:
'''What makes horses bones ?''
81 don't know" said the aunt, in des-
pairing tone.
Il think they're made out of skin,"
said the little girl with an air of convic-
tion.-"Y es, they're made out of skin an
hair an wool an rubl, r; that's what
hors rs bones is made out Of"
"Yes, dear said shameless won Al.
sIflmy pa sets that bone taken out Of
his leg her give me is watch. Would you
have a bone taken out of your leg,
auntie ?7'
''You ridiculo, child, Of course not.''
"Why not 2"
''Oh, keep still !"
The young woman Il en- ot up and near
ly fell oyer the rail into the water. The
aunt uttered shrek, and the writer,
much against his will, rescued the young
lady.
"Ths nix you sir said the aunt.
What for,'' asked the terrible infant.
''For nothing, said the re-cler.
''Ar ltie did you eyer see little dickey
bird flirt up lis tail an sing ?''
Eyes, dear"
ssWhere 20
81 mean no. dear, Desperately
''Did you ee that colored lady, auntie :?
She had on a fearful pretty hat, ever so
much prettier than yours-I want to 90
home.''
"You mustn't 60 home; mamma IS sick,
and you must go with me"
ssWhat makes mamma sick.;'
'sNever mind, she'll be well again in a
week OF two"
''But | want to know what makes her
sick?''
'sNever mind, de sr."
s'Why ?''-but just then the boat swung
up to her pier 4 Stapleton, and the IN
quisitive young lady and her submissive
aunt disembarked.
JUST THE Satisfactorily morning
man whose very look proved how hungry
and pennil' 5 he was, halted before an eat
ing stand at the Central MARI 1t to let his
mouth water for awhile. The woman
knew his worth, and called:
s'Come ID jogging along! You don It
get any food unle you have the CASH.
''My dear woms ~ he confidently be-
gan as he drew neal sr, IL am not hungry;
I just left the breakfast table, after the
heartiest meal l ever ate l was not look
ing at your eaut full meats, your lovely
cakes, or your rich and and JUICY pies, but
at yourself"
'sWhat were you looking at me for ?''
st YVES wondering" he said, SIT you
were any relation to Lady Glare, of Eng
land. You have the same brown eyes,
same beautiful hair-same sweet accent -
81 never knew her," replied the woma /,
as her face began to clear up.
Didn't, eh ? Well, I never saw two
fac nearer alike in their sweet express
sion. 1 wish had your portraitl painted
on ivory-I really wish had.''
She handed him half pie and piece of
meat and IS he sauntered off she began
hunting around for piece of broken mir
ror.-Detroit Free Press.
''My son, would you like to steal one of
those melon ?'' eyes, sir" was the
prompt reply. you would, Ell! am
sorry to hear flat. If you should steal
one of those melons, my boy, do you know
what the result mlghp / ?" The lad
stratched his head, surveyed the pile again
and answered, 81 'spect the plag uey thing
would be green all the way through !''-
Detroit Free Press.
A girl up toWl who has swivel OF
screw eye, looked SO long and affectionate-
" on gin bottle, that she actually drew
mt the cork An apt instance of the
mower of true love.
When married men complain of being in
,,ot water at home, it turns out half the
time it's scolo.
Dissolute youths are called '''bloods,"