Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1878-03-30

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Our fire company now being fairly or
ganized we wish to prefer a few
words of advice, which we do without
charge, as follows:
The moment you hear an alarm OF
fire, scream like pair of panthers.
Run any way, except the right way,
for the furthest way round is the
nearest way to the fire. If you hap
| pen to run on the top of a wood-pile
so much the better, you can then get
good view of the neighborhood. If
light breaks on your view, "break'
for it Immediately; but be sure you
don't jump into bow window. Keep
yelling all the time and if you can't
make night hideous enough yourself,
kick all the dogs you come across and
set them yelling too; twill help amaz-
ingly. A brace of cats dragged up
stairs by the tail would be a powerful
auxiliary" When you reach the
scene of the fire do all you can to
convert it into a scene of destruc-
ton. Tear down all the fences
in the vicinity. If it be a chin
ney on FIRE, throw salt down it !;
or, if you can't do that, perhaps the
best plan would be to jerk off the
pump handle and pound it down.
Don't forget to yell all the while, as
it will have prodigious effect in
frightening off the fire. The louder
the better, of course and the more
ladies in the vicinity the greater ne
cessity for "dolngit brown" Should
the roof begin to smoke, get to work
in good earnest, and make any man
"smoke" that interrupts you. If it is
summer and there are fruit trees in the
lot cut them down to prevent the fire
from roasting the apples. Don't for
get to yell Should the stable be
threatened, carry out the cow-chains.
Never mind the horse-he'll be alive
and kicking; and if his legs don't do
their duty let them pay for the roast.
Ditto as to the hogs;-let them save
their own bacon or smoke for it.
When the roof begins to burn, get a
crowbar and pry away the stone steps;
or, if the steps be of wood, procure an
ak and chop them up. Next, cut
away the sh-boards in the base
ment story and, if that don't stop the
flames, let the chair boards on the
first floor share similar fate. Should
the "devouring element" still pursue
the "even tenor Of its way" you had
better ascend the second story. Pitch
out the pitchers and tumblers. Yell
all the time
If you find a baby abed fling it into
the second story window of the house
across the way; but let the kitten
carefully down in work basket.
Then draw out the bureau drawers
and empty their contents out of the
back window telling somebody below
to upset the slop barrel and rain water
hogshead at the same time. Of course
you will attend to the mirror. The
further it can be thrown the more
pieces will be made. If anybody OBJ
jects, smash it over his head. Do not
under any circumstances drop the
tongs down from the second story ; the
fall might break it's legs and render
the poor thing a. cripple for life. Set
itstraddle of your shoulders and carry
it down carefully. Pile the bed
clothes carefully on the floor and throw
the crockery out of the window. By
the time you will have attended to all
these things the fire will certainly be
arrested Or the building be burnt
down. In either case your service
will be no longer needed, and, of
course, you require no further direc-
tons.