The crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1877-1878, 1878-04-11
FACTS AND FANCIES.
Tho oorlv bird catches the cold.

Normandy"
A Milwaukee man escaped from fire by
sliding down his ear from the fourth story
of building.
Trees have their time to leavc,-Graphic.
And they never leave without DOUGH-
Courier-J Journal. -,
may have used the word damned"
which is a good word when appropriately
used.-Gen. W. T. Sherman.
"a thousand souls day" are going TO
Kansas. There is another place, not to be
mentioned here, which can beat that
Bob Ingersoll practices on the violin
during his leisure moments. Perhaps that's
why he is an in-fddle.
Preacher to boy in the strcet)-My little
man, is your father Christian: Boy
Yes, sir, but he amt working at it much
lately.
Even if boy is always whistling, Il
want to be an angel" it is just as well TO
keep the preserved pears on the top OF the
pantry.
When tramps refuse to work in Kenosho
they are promptly put in irons, made to
carry sXity.pound weight, and then parad
ed
Kellogg, Roze, and Cary should submit
their opposing claims to some good,look.
ing young man. in the style of the judg-
ment OF Paris
"The Doom of Daizell' at the head of
newspaper article caused a ray of sun.
shine in many an editorial office. But
gloom fell like heavy blanket when it
proved to be merely the title of story of
the revolution.
During the closing days Of the carnival
season, the prince of Wales went to ball
masque which began on Sunday morning
at Paris. London was much scandalized
on hearing the news.
A Baltimore woman pinched a school.
boys arm, and he is threatened with death
from OsteOsarComa in consequence. His
parents refused to have the arm amputated,
as the surgeons advised.
One may study nature all his lifetime
and vet never be able to explain why the
man who misses one step in going down
stairs is certain TO miss three or four more
before he brings up.-Detroit Free Press.
Galveston is perhaps the only city in
the land that can guard herself against
tramps. She is located on an island, and
all she has TO do is to station policemen
at the end of the bridge.
A poor woman coming from a wrecthed
garret in an inland manufacturing town
for the first time to see the seashore, gazing
at the ocean, said she was glad once in her
life TO see something which there was
enough Of.
They were passing by a house even
with the street, when she was hearC to
plead Don't take off your flannels yet,
darling 1t is too early. Don't do it,"
What he said was not observed in the
gloom, he did not do it,-Danbury News.
A Houston Tex couple have been mar.
ried in photographers gallery their por-
traits being taken at the instant that the
spoken. Their two alternatives made
a negative, as it were.-New York World
MARIA" observed Mr. Holcomb, as he
was putting on his clothes, "there amt no
patch on these breechcs yet" 81 can't fix it
now, I'm too busy "Well, give me the
patch, then, an ri carry it around with
me. don't want people TO think | taf-
ford the cloth"
Chicago Times: Muley lIassan is dead.
1t seems but yesterday that we sat down
to a small bottle with him and remarked
that he was in the very glow of health.
Death, oh death how swift and mystcri-
ous are thy comings; how ruthlessly dost
thou rob us of those to whom our heart
clings closest,
Cincinnati claims TO be the Paris Of
America, and the home of art in the new
world. Her citizens express the hope that
one day they will be able TO buy up the
treasures of the Louvre and the Vatican;
but for the present the bulk Of their capi.
tai is locked up in articles of prime neccs-
sity.
Portsmouth, n H., possesses the cham
pion peacemaker Two roosters were hav-
ing royal battle, which bade fair TO end
in the death or utter discontinue of one or
the other, when third rooster stepped into
the ring, seized each in turn by the neck,
gave him good shaking and ended the
| fight.
An individual suffering from dyspepsia
calls at a physlCians house during his con-
sultation hour. The practitioner examines
him and declares: II sec how it is; you
need a good deal of exercise, but perhaps
your business does not leave you time.
What is your occupation 2" II have been
letter carrier for twenty-five years"
The winter past has not been entirely de-
void of good results. Owing TO the alb
sence of sleighing, and the consequent
dearth of impromptu balls in the neigh
boring villages, the young ladies' prayer
meeting has maintained its organization
intact during the season.-Brookvillc Dem
ocrat.
A town in Kansas has been named Coll.
yer after the Chicago blacksmith preacher
of that name. As the founders stood and
gazed at their embryo city, in a moment Of
perpleXity exclaimed: "What shall we call
yerY" And the hills answered back
"Collyer" So that settled it, and will help
TO settle the place.-Chicago journal.
In the spring the maiden's fancy
Turns 10 thoughts of making hay
With matrimonial view, she
Flirteth much and plays croquet
But the young man doth not tumble,
And with mercenary view
He considers that it's cheaper
To pay board for one than two.
-Pittsburg Leader,
Bloggins, who has been 10 one of Cooks
Monday lectures, soliloquizes as he sup.
ports the heaviest side of six-story house:
"If l am to be drunk (hic) tonight the,
beer er (hic) the er beer which is to be
drunk-(ha, hal tha's iunnyD is already
brewed. II the er hic) beer is alieady
drunk, that is, (hic) il the beer is already
brewed, which is to be drunk, amt it my
duty 10 drink it and not let it spoil? OF
course it is." Suiting the action TO the
word he disappears in the nearest saloon
and, in less than three hours after, the su-
blime law of the enternal fitness Of things
is illustrated with force at once compre.
hensive and conclusive.
Ashes as Cattle Feed.
The Maine Farmer says: "One Of