Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1878-02-12
From the N. Y. Herald.
Chat by the Way.

From the N. Y. Herald.
Chat by the Way.
During the first year of married life
the wife fills her husbands heart; after
that she must fill his stomach or there
will be trouble. 1l . ="
Some people complain because they
can't find bread for their families; 9th
ers have given up trying to find it and
go to work for it. 9 -
Doctor johnson said thata small boy
could climb an apple tree, fill his pock-
cts and get off with impunity; but the
moment big boy tried to do it the limb
broke, and so did the boys arm and all
the pious people said it was judgment.
The real difficulty, however. lay in the
size of the boy.
Anger sometimes leads one to express
an honest opinion of himself. When a
man said, ''That fellow ought to be kick
ed by mule, and I'd like to do it, he
allowed himself, in the excitement of eX
temporaneous speech, to tell a sad truth.
The suggestiveness of language is very
remarkable. "Who is the head of this
house ?' asked a stranger of diminu-
1--WE SCotcHIudu. Weel, Sii, II yo
bide bit I'll tell We, for Janet and are
going to settle that point" was the an
swer. 1t is an experience through
which every one has to pass sooner or
later. s.f-, III. 81 ,r.-.t .3.s ,,l.
One reason why some men are so in
different about the oft-repeated in
junction to lay up treasure in heaven is
that they can't understand the proprietv
of putting their money where they will
never see it again. "" gag al
AT twenty you know everything; at
thirty you have your doubts at forty
there are some things you don't know
at fifty you are sure only of your ig-
norance; and after that you read Mr..
Beecher's sermon on everlasting pun
ishment and hope he is right.
A bashful man will sometimes get ter
ribly mixed in his speech. A blushing
youth turned from pink to carnation,
and wished himself in an early grave,
| man can tell bigger lie than any
one I know" and then, thinking an
apology necessary, added, "of course,
present company excepted"
| The most harmless and funny animal
in the world is a genuine Irish bull
IA stone coffin? Well, that is, indade.
an improvement, for it will last man
his lifetime"
The literary critics of England make
great sport of Mp. Tyndall. They will
not admit his originality, but insist that
he is a careful student of Professor Dra-
per, of New York, and is little given
to borrowing the arguments Of that
learned gentlemen. Hence the bon mot
that Mr.. Tyndall is very vapory with
out his Drapery.
Some people are not, satisfied with
getting all they want for themselves,
but they try also to keep other folks
from getting their share. We have
watched farmer feeding his pigs, and
have noticed that the most. pigish pigs
not only eat the fastest, but get their
front feet in the trough, and try to spoil
what they can't eat because they are so
full. is.
Free thinking has for its logical re-
suit free acting, An old gentleman once
struck the keynote of the worlds COM
mon sense In this matter. He said to a
visitor. "Do you believe in God, sir?"
The reply was. "God is mere notion
vi SOtfltA SuDtfSGItIOuS nSpplG, WDlCH iutH
of thought have long since abandoned"
every good, sir: and may I ask if you
believe in the Ten Commandments ?"-
mo. sirv was the Ten.y; "thev can be
demonstrated to be the offspring OF q
barbarous age" The old gentleman
rang his bell, and when the servant APP
peared, said, "John stand by the hat
rack until this person goes. Nothing is
safe when man neither believes in
| God nor rne degi|." i'. ''.'~
! IF you want to read something which
you havn't seen for years just glance
over the Sermon on the Mount. ii
, There is significant Spanish proverh
| which says. "Tbe man who on his we'd
RI ding day starts as a lieutenant in the
family viii never get promoted" -
There is an autopsy socseiy in Paris.
and each member agrees to leave his
body to the organization for anatomical
purposes. There is nothing new in this
however, for we know at least dozen
societies in America ia which the mem
,. bers cut each other up before they are
dead ''.ll nj i5fl~As}f 90 -4r1r slil
Theology is greet mystery. and yet
J it has some bottom facts. 'You have
no father and you never heard Of
the Bible" mo, sir" well, where
, do you expect to go to?" II dunno
) I've my way" That's the trouble with
most people
It is the consciousness of ill desert that
makes blow hurt. This is ametaphys-
zeal remark, and we are not sure that
we understand it ourselves still we will
rise to explain. A small boy was being
severely thrashed by the schoolmaster
Instead of whimpering he began tc
laugh. The rod came down with a
little more muscular effort, and although
the boy looked serious for a moment he
soon put his hand to his mouth and
burst out into another suppressed laugh.
; The teacher said, John, why smilest
shoulder and then said, with chuckle,
"Master, you've licked the wrong boy ~
Now we hope our meaning is plain.
Brother Odeii says that ministers are
, knocking the old beliefs endWise. When
he gets hold of text that is as hard as
pine knot he is met by the convenient
assertion that it is all mistranslation.-
1t used to be some comfort to q man to
believe in hell, but now when one dies
he hasn't the slightest idea where he
| VIII SO INT AtUIect is DeiuS. 0IScuSScu
with good deal of heat, naturally, and
everybody of Importance is being in
terviewed, with the hope that he has
some later information. The theology
of the colored race is rather uniquely
put as follows 4.t 10y
Rrudder Beecher says for sartin, an his doctrine
will just spit yer, =te"'
Tho for sure l doesn't know de page from
| 1 which it has been fetched, 81 ~ 81.
Dat We needn't hab no trouble bout the cher
| lastin' future,
Kase faint no matter what yo does yo' nebbel
| will be scotched. 'l' VI ti' 2 5-+J
De Scrlptur don't agree wild him, not eff reads
it right, '-. "
An whar he gifts has 'tlaEity guess he darsn
say;
So I'd ruther walk de narrer path, accofdin tc
my light, "ti
Than hab jolly time of it, an risk de other
way.