The Portland daily press., 1878-04-22
A New Version Of the Old Gospel Of

1t is frequently remarked that the South
wants Norihera energy and enterprise and will
give it royal welcome. All that the South
asks Is that the representatives Of the desirable
elements shall behave themselves and put on no
Northern airs. A young man who yearned for
warmer climate recently went ffom the North
to San Antonio Texas, and oficiated for some
months as clerk in q slight store there. He
was pleased with his reception and Sbelieved
that the work Of reconciliation was going right
on. The people liked him and he liked the
people, particularly young lady of prepossess-
ing appearance aud amabe nature. He
courted this young lady and all was proceeding
as merrily as might be, when there arose q
mighty Texan andopened conversation.
fright pesrt chap you airp said this Texan,
ejectlng good deal of tobacco juice in the
neigbborhood of the young mans boots and
casually lifting into view the handle Of bowie
knife that ran down b is spine 10 friendly
manner, MAKE sweet-lookin' corpse,
wouldn't you?"
''ro what do you refer, my friend?" said the
hansalf- and the noble Texan. "You don't
seem to act freldly, somehow.
"Fhems pretty good close you wear, hey?
Had EN- made in Bostiug, didn't yer? Did
ySA eutoh bhCJ VI kU uOWu dmOuR US IeXans-
wot? We uns Is rough aud tough. Y don't
seem to've heard OF it. We call such garments
as them putin on airs. We uns don't toler-
ate no airs-yon hyar me?"
"Wel. my friend returoed the Northerner,
surprised and grieved to paleDess, "I meant no
offence, l assure | was not aware Of the Gus.
tams of the country. You will forgive me. will
you not? IN tell you what Pll do. I'll pnt
holes 10 the elbows of my coat aud wear a
slouch hat: III cut off the bottoms OF nv
NJ q nnf 49,
garment. I'll throw away nv We, and wear
my shirt open In front aud without buttons
III put holes 10 my ssockings-yes. PIl throw
away the stockings and go without them. Pll
orinR wniskey II You insist on 1t ard chew plug
tobacco and swear like pirate and 90 through
the streets bowling like q wild Iadiau and
letting OF pistols at the peaceful air. Anything
Tor reconciliation, my friend. I'm a peaceful
man aud want no trouble"
Welr said the noble Texan, rolling his
plug renectlVely. shat seems fair. mus say.
Air ye IN earnest, or is your lsngwldge sarcus-
tic! L m partic'lar man, L am, an mean
business"
~ am in earnest, sir" said the Northerner
with sigh of relief Shall We clasp hands
and call it bargsin?
carter sll' said the Texan, "that amt the
PRINT That amt wot come for"
81 see," resumed tn Northsrner in con-
cistory way, Il see You object TO my style
Of Eaglish. IL Is very natural You baven't
oeen used to it. I'll tell what Pil do PIi
adopt your vernscu ar as fast as | eau, and I'll
Kill the language to ths last sy able of recsrsd
correctness. I'l massacre every verb, sdyerb.
noun, pronouu, adjective aud proposition /
come across, aud hang their mangled corpses
on the most convenient tree, a spectacle for
gods and men.
"An' that's fair, too. as fur as it goes" said
tue Iexao, pauslDg to take driuk. "But that
amt the pint. see hysr, strangefl Tnarsa
gal as you've 6tsken a shine to. Sues the pur-
test gal IN San Antony. Hey? Thars the
kind o putin on ais l IN talkiu' of now,
You want ter et that gal alone. W0t?"
Permit me, my friend, r turned the North
erner, suddenly turning pale sgaiD, ''to saw
one word. Let US argue this matter. came