West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-01-26
EVERYDAY SPICERIEs.


ROME Sentinel; A neglected wife
may keep her sorrows TO herself, but n
neglected liver will not.
WORCESTER Press: The paragraphers
are all young men. Their wit becomes
bad-in-age If not before.
WORCESTER Press: The impecunious
editor never mistakes the manly tread
of the bill-collector for the stealthy loot
falls of the original poet.
DOM PATT says that ga true inter
viewer is man who puts his own views
in the mouth of the interviewed and
trusts TO God and good luck TO escape
DEATH"
YoNKERs Gdsette: Shakespeare says
the quality of mercy is not strained, but
some kinds are so thin that you couldn't
get anything out of them il you should
strain all day.
FULTON Times: The baby who took
the first prize at the first baby show is
living in Cincinnati. IL is girl and
she has got false teeth, and wart on
her cheek and n mole on her left arm.
THE wrong word sometimes makes a
| silly-bull. - BOstOn Post. And the wrong
mistletoe sometimes makes a silly-buss.
Phitddciphid Bulletin. And in mixing
wine and milk for your brother you
make a silly-bub--G Graphic.
liz lies across tho teachers knee. his brOadesi end
Aud the itneher buckles down to work like Cos
sack Of the Don
| When the voice Of the afflicted arises shrilly--
1t isn't fair haven't got my winter trou.er.
onP --Pwk
on CITY Derrick: Elibu Burritt Is
called the learned blacksmith. We will
not believe he knows any more about
his trade than any other blacksmith,
until we shall have seen him shoe mule
without being kicked in the stomach
nineteen or twenty times.
NoRRIsTowN Herald. A Boston
woman recently testified that man
had threatened 10 take her life, and he
was put under bonds To keep the peace
for six months. The woman evidently
thinking this was insufficient punish
ment, subsequently married him. She
says revenge is sweet.
TRANsvAAL ArgUs: A tramp was
arrested, taken before magistrate, and
sentenced for three months. The JUS
tice, in explaining the sentence, remarked
that, while there was no evidence that
the prisoner had been guilty of any
crime, he thought il prudent TO commit
him, as he had the wild, haggard look Of
a nfan about TO start newspaper.
ROME Sentinel: As year after year
rolls into the great sea of the past, and
man draws nearer and nearer the great
port of death, nc becomes more and more
sadly convinced that red flannel wrap
pers will shrink in spite Of the best eff
forts Of the washeTwoman. This is why
IL is so difficult TO distinguish n last
years wrapper from n coral necklace.
TO 4 COW.
Why, cow how canst thou be 40 satisfied
20 well content with all things here below,
50 unObstrusvo aud 10 sleepy-eyed,
90 meek, 70 lazy, and 20 oawful slowi
Dgst thou not know that everything is Mixed
That naught Is as n should be on this earth,
That gfieyOusly the world needs % be fixed,
| That nothing We can gain has any worth,
That times are hard, that life is full Of care,
- OF sin aud trouble and untowardness,
That Owe Is fO ly, friendship but snareP
Prtti COW, this Is no time for lazinessi
The cud thou chewest isnOt what n soernsf
Get up and moot Tear round and quit thy dreams
ID. H. Pro1dfi
ALBANY Journal: WOodchucks are 4
very curious animal. II is made of hair
and eyes and has two front teeth, and
can see man with gun when the eyes
are shut and bolted. j have seen dog
shake a wookchuck till both we're black
in the face. a wOodchuck can sniyel
up his nose and show his teeth and look
~ hOmely a. / can without trying. They
sit On'one end and eat with the other A
woodchuck can get home faster than a
, gun can shoot. He is round all over
except his feet which are black. Wher
eaten they retain the flavor Of their nests
and seem to have been cooked withou
being pared. A fat wOOdchuck, wher
eaten properly, is no laughin' matter
They come under the head of "domes
tic animals" and their amt no y act
like home when a dog goes for one Of 'em