The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1878-05-18

it is because he has been seen with a
girl.
VIRTUE is it's own reward but little
besides, that will buy something, is gen.
orally quite handy.
A MAN named Canarey is in Sing
Sing. An appropriate place for him.
Breakfast Table.
PERHAPS it is wrong to go fishing on
Sunday, but if fish are wicked enough to
bite on Sunday they ought to be made
to suffer for it.
PREFER sense to wit; never study to
be diverting without being useful; let
no Jest intrude upon good manners, nor
say anything that may offend modesty.
A SUNDAY-school boy, of Maysville,
Ky, was asked by the superintendent if
his father was Christian. Yes, sir"
he replied, but he is not working at it
much"
A MISSISSIPPI Judge was just saying
that no one but coward would carry
pistol, when hisown fell from his pocket,
was discharged, and the bullet hit law
yer in the leg.
A YOUNG lady was telling friend
about her brother at college. He has
taken the valedictory," said She In
deed p exclaimed her friend, Do they
ever die of itg'- Breakfast Table. e
THE Belfast (Me.) Journal thinks the
Greenback Club is misplaced, with its
headquarters in a Universalist vestry.
| The Universalists believe in redemption,
and the Grecnbackers do not.
| Worn =, .,,,, bn r.o,., ,,nooas
ness, do nothing that you know or sus-
purest pleasure-do everything in your
power which you are convinced is right.
"WHAR was de sun dis mornin'Y"
asks Rev. Mr.. Jasper, of Virginia.
"Why, dat side O. my house. Whar is
it nowY Why, dis side o my house;
darfur de sun must ha' got roun' it,
an it couldn't do dat standin' still
Wherefur, de sun moves, sah."
FIRST law pill" Jones, most
curious question has arisen lately.
There's a man in Newton, and the laws
such that they can't bury him p Second
law pill earnestly -"V Very astounding,
to- be surel Why, how ON earth can
that beT' First law pill (derisively)-
"Why, he isn't dead yetp
IT is not true that cat always turns
its tail to the new moon. The cat has
no voition in the matter. The moon
attracts the tail as it attracts the tides.
This is what Addison meant when, allud-
ing to the cat, he remarked that "Soon
AS the evening shades prevail, the moon
takes up its wondrous tall
TENNYsoN's new poem, "The Ballad
of the Fleet" must be first class pro-
duction, or the blanketsheet dailies
wouldn't copy it; but if the same lines
had made their appearance anonymously
the probabilities are that verse here
and there would have been copied and
credited to the Sweet Singer Of Michi-
gan"
THE wind is unseen, but it cools the
brow of the fevered one, sweetens the
summer atmosphere, and ripples the
surface of the lake into silver spangles
of b auty. So goodness OF heat, though
invisible to the material eye, makes its
presence felt; and from its effect upon
surrounding things we are assured of
its existence.
A MAN saw ghost while walking
along lonely highway at midnight.
The ghost stood exactly in the middle
of the road, and the wayfarer, deciding
to investigate, poked at it with his UNI
brella. The next instant he was
knocked twenty feet into mud-hole.
Moral-Never poke an umbrella at
large white mule when its back is
turned. f08
A CERTAIN parson, who was also
school teacher handed problem to his
class in mathematics the other day.
The first boy took it, looked at it awhile,
and said, ~ pass" Second boy took
it and said, az turn it down." The
third boy looked at it awhile and drawled
out, 81 can't make it." Every good,
boys" said the parson, we will cut for
new DEAL" and the switch danced
like lightning over the shoulders of
those depraved young mathematician.
-Neao York Star.
EARTHQUAKE.
A giant of awful strength, he dumbly lies
| Far-prisoned among the solemn deeps OF earth;
The sinewy Tandeurs of his captive girth--
His great-thewed breast collossa-mOided thighs,
And arms thick-roped with muscle Of mighty size,
Rfpose in slumber where no dream gives birth
For months, even years, to any grief OF mrth;
A slumber Of tranquil lips caim-lidden eyes
Yet sometimes to his spirit a dream will creep
OF the old glad past when, clothed in dauntless
pride,
He walked the world, unclaimed by tyrannous
powers;
And then while he losses restlessly in sleep,
Dark terrible graves for living shapes yawn wide,
Or city shreks among her tottering towers!
Edgar Faucet.
AN old soldier, relating his expert
ence at temperance meeting in Iowa,
said that one time he got possession of
two kegs of whisky, took them to camp,
put faucet in one of them, and passed
the whisky around among the boys I'M
, til they all got pretty full. About the
time the keg was empty, he said, for a
moment his conscience told him he was
/ doing wrong. He picked up an ak and
knocked the head of the other keg in
and (here he was interrupted by the
| deacons starting the cry of "Amenp'
Thank Godp' "Glory be to Godp)
, After the house became quiet he. con-
tinued: {" knocked in the head of that
| keg, gave the boys tin cup, and told
) them to help themselves" 1t was a
l case of premature enthusiasm, and the
{ wicked scofiers in the audience had their
turn to shout.
WE learn through private letter to
Miss Anna Garrison, from Paisley, Scot