West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-03-30
EVERY DAY SPICERIES.


ALMOST anybody can send boy on
an crrand, but only the wealthy have
the leisure 10 spare TO wait for him To
get back.-RORe Sentinel.
A UTICA doctor is about to run n tele-
phone from his Office TO the residences
of his patients. Death is being made
! easier every year Utica Observer.
ONE day the Russians are To have tho
Turkish Navy and another day it is go
ing TO England. 1t is regular navy
revolver.-Cm Cincinnati Saturday Night.
HAVING tried the new "perfumed
ink in making out bills, we arc con-
yinced that it's wicked misnomer--
IT failed tc raise cent? CdtskiH
Recorder.
A WOMAN rarely knows what it is to
yearn after the infinite until she falls in
love, and detects her sweetheart slipping
peanuts into another girls pocket
Andrews' Bdsdr.
A rwo-foot rule c-kecp your feet dry.
--Erchdngc. a threet-foot rule-sleek
up your yard as spring approaches
Boston Globe. A forfeit rule-pay If you
lose - Graphic.
The Ohio House has passed bill TO
allow County Commissioners TO pay
bounties for the destruction of rats,
hawks and foxes Fun for the boys
Now that gentle spring approaches,
it may not be unreasonable To mention
that organ grinders, especially those
who come from New York, can make
from fifteen TO twenty dollars day in
the city Of Commercial AdUer-
tiser.
A DISCHARGE Of buckshot from gun
killed man in the Capital TheateT,
Austin, Texas, and made hole in the
wall. The fresh plaster was cracked in
such n way as TO present the outlines of
n mans face - likeness of the murdered
man, as some say.
SOME people are 10 opposed to picking
out the dry and pleasant spots in this
world, that force of habit will make
heaven drcaTy to them, if they don't
stub their toe and fall into cess-pool
after IT. Peter has admitted them into
the gates IPhtehaH Times.
"SUFFEBfN' galinippersW exclaimed
deacon Nom the mOOnshine regions OF
Kentucky, in one of our hotel barber
shops the other day, as he threw down
newspaper in disgust, John Brougham
calls rum luxury Well, blast my
blue grass What does the man live
on, anyway BreakJaSt Table.
IT may be all right for boarder to
fall in love with his landlady, and she,
if unmarried or widow, violates no
law in returning his passion, but it is
| totally opposed TO all sentiment and
proper appetite TO send him a lock of
| her hair through the medium of the but
| ter or the hash served up for breakfast.
--ThiiadeLphia Post.
! "WHAT," asks recent writer, is
the hardest time in a boys life" Our
! boy says it's when he has 10 temporarily
suspend perusal Of thrilling chapter
In dThe Phantom Cheese-K nife or, the
DabOlical Demon Of Rattlesnake
Gulch," TO 90 down stairs for kindling-
wood to light the fire for the sixth time
that morning. IN y. Commercial.
NEIGHBoR GoUGH.
While passing by the old horse trough
heard hollow, hacking cough,
And, turning met my neiBhbOr Cough
The wind was blowing sw and rough;
said I, " Old fellow, rather toughT 80
| All, yes" wheezed he, It's tough enoughF
lie limped along perhaps a block,
Then said "ShaTp pains afilict my boushi
would we're by some sunny lOughi
"Or managing the we'll -yoked plough,
or resting meath The rustling bOugh,
Lulcd by the gently murmuHng sough
" But vain are al those wishes, though"
QuOth he In accents sad and low
Alas, fear my cake is dOuRhN
With pain / heard my old friend through
And when AT last we bade adieu,
felt his fears would soon prove true.
--BdiGirin's Monthly.
Nor long since n short statement was
made in this paper Of n Confederate
silver quarter-dollar and mentioned IL
was the first we had ever heard Of such
a case. We have received from T. Sid
Jones, of Memphis, Tenn, agent Of the
Miliburn Wagon Company, q note in
which he states he has in his possession
n silver fve-cent piece which he got the
, day after the battle Of Perryville, KY,
October 9, 1862, when he was command
inga company, in the Kentucky cavalry
service. lie thus describes the piece
I'm diameter IL is about half an inch and
Of the thickness of silver threecen
piece. On one side arc stamped around
the margin "A United South" 3" and q
Confederate flag flying from staff, and
? the figures 1861. On the reverse appeal
, fifteen stars around the margin, and ;
. cotton stalk with leaves, bloom and boil
, -Coi,mbUs (Go.) EHquiro.
, 1F ono (says n writer should give M
VI a ~ hi A