The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1878-12-05
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.

= The way to fame is like the way to
heaven-through much tribulation.
There are many men whose tongues
might govern multitudes if they could
govern their tongues.
= Mr.. Flood, of San Francisco, is
building little unpretentious dwelling
house that will cost s2,000,000.
These United States will come
back from Paris with sos prizes. We
only had some nine hundred exhibitors.
- There are two things young girl
frequently looks for and never wants to
fnd-a man under the bed and hole in
her stocking.
= The Peking Stats -Zeitung prints a
letter from a chinese scholar asserting
that the telephone was invented prior to
1000, A. D., by a resident of Peking.
Small but active bootblack to a
wearer Of thirteens-"Say, boss, let me
black yer boots; do it for FIVE cents an
acre and warrant it done before sun
down."
A placard in the window of a pat
ent medicine vender reads as follows !:
'The publis are requested not to mistake
this shop for that of another quack just
opposite"
An Iowa man, learning that he
could not live many days. willed his prop.
erty, amounting to $4,000, to a man and
woman who had been friendly to him.
Be kind to the rich.
"A widower had five grown daugh-
tiers, who wouldn't let him take second
wife. He gave up the wife, but bought
a savage dog and now won't allow man
to cross his door-s;ll. If he can't marry,
the girls shan't, he says.
Among the peculiarities of courting
in Texas is that the "young feller" is
occasionally asked to step outside the
house and hold an apple or potato for
the girls brothers to shoot at, and it is
considered highly unsociable not to
comply. 1t is equally noteworthy that
the well-to-do young suitor never gets
hit.
- Fitz Hugh Ludlow, in his narrative
of travel in "Tks Heart of the CONT
nent," tells of an accentric genius who
improved on the old yarn to the effect
that "the weather would have been cold
er if the thermometer had been longer"
by saying that he had been where 'it
was so cold that the thermometer got
down off the nail"
"A gentleman being threatened with
an infectious fever, said to his little son,
who in an affectionate mood wished to
embrace him, "You mustn't hug me
you'll catch the fever" Willie, stand
ing back, looked in amazement upon his
papa, who, by the way, is a pattern Of
propriety, and quickly asked, "Why,
papa, who did you hug?"
-aHabit" is hard to overcome. If
you take off the the first letter, it does
not change "a bit" If you take off an
other, you still have "bit" left. If you
take off still another, the whole of sit"
remains. If you take off still another,
it is not ct" totally used up. All OF
which goes to show that, if you wish to
be rid Of "habit," you must throw it
off altogether. -, ;.
IF we die to-day, the sun will shine
as brightly, the birds will sing as sweetly
tomorrow. Business will not be sus-
pended a moment, and the great mass
will not bestow thought upon our mem
cries. "Is he Gead?" will be the solemn
inquiry of few, as they pass to their
work. But no one will miss US, except
ing immediate connections, and in a
short time they will forget and laug as
merrily as when we sat beside them.
Thus shall we all pass away. Our chill
dreu crowd close behind US, and they will
soon pass away. In a few years not a
living being can say, II remember him" "
We lived in another age, and did busi-
ness with those who slumber in the tomb.
This is lifel How rapidly it passes.
"A man living in the country, far
from any physician, was taken suddenly
i'll. His family, in great alarm, not
knowing what else to do, sent for o
neighbor who had reputation for doc
toring COWS. "Can't you give father
something to help him." asked one OF
the sons. "Wa'al, don't know nothing
about doctorin' people" "You know
more than we do, for you can doctor
COWS. Now what do you give them when
they are sick" "Wa'al, I aullus give
cows salts. You might try that on him"
"How much shall we give him?" inquir-
ed the son. "Wa'al, aullus give cows
Jest pound. suppose man is a quar-
ter as big as cow-give him a quarter
of e pound"
Be wise in time and procure DR.. Bulls
1.-l Cu-,c ,,b;ob o. 1wovc cures GOnphS