davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-01-21
LAUGHTER.

We would rather be poor and merry,
than inherit the wealth of the Indies
with discontented spirit A merry
heart, cheerful spirit from which
laughter wells up naturally as bubbles
in the spring of Saratoga, are worth all
the money bags, stocks and mortgages
in the city. The man who laughs is a
doctor with a diploma, endorsed by the
school of nature; his face does more
good in sick room than pound of
powders OF gallen of bitter draughts.
If things 60 right, he laughs because he
is pleased; if they go wrong be laughs
because it is cheaper, and better than
crying. People are always glad to see
him, their hands instinctively 60 half
way out to meet his grasp. while they
turn involuntarily from the clammy
touch of the dyspeptic who speaks on
the groaning key. He laughs you out
your faults, while you never dream of
being offended with him. 1t seems as
if sunshine came into the room with
him, and you never know what a pleas
ant world you are living in until he
points out the sunny streaks on its path
way. Who can help loving the whole
souled. genial laughter? Not the buffoon
nor the man who classes noise with the
mirth-but the CHEEKY. contented man
of sense and mind ! A good -humored
laugh is the key to all breasts. The
truth is, that people like to be laughed
at in a pleasant manner. not sneered at.
And it is astonishing how frankly the
laughing population can talk without
treading on the sensitive toes of their
neighbors. Why will people put OIL
long faces, when it is so much easier
and more comfortable to laugh ? Tears
come to US unsought and unbidden. The
wisest art in life is to cultivate smiles
and to find the smiles where Others
shrink away for fear of thorns.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-01-21
THE BRIGHT SIDE.

Look on the bright side. 1t is the
right side. The times may be hard,
but it will make them no easier to wear
a gloomy and sad countenance. 1t is
the sunshine and not the cloud that
gives beauty to the flower. There is
always before or around us that which
should cheer and fill the heart with
wamth and gladness. The sky is blue
ten times where it is black once. You
have troubles, it may be. So have
others. None are free from them; and
perhaps it is as well that none shold be-.
They give sinew and tone to life, forti-
tude and courage to man. That would
be dull sea, and the sailor. would
never acquire skill where there is moth
ing to disturb its surface. It is the du-
ty of every one to extract all the happi-
ness and enjoyment he can within and
without him and above all, he should
look on the bright side. What though
things do look little dark ? The lane
will turn, and the night will end in
in broad day. In the long run the
great balance rights itself. What ap-
pears i'll becomes well-that which ap-
pears wrong, right Men are not able
to hang down their heads or lips, and
those who do only show that they are
departing from the paths of true com
mon sense and right. There is more
virtue in one sunbeam than whole
hemisphere of clouds and gloom. There
fore we repeat, look on the bright side.
Cultivate all that is warm and genial
not the cold and repulsive, the darl
| and morose.-THe Interior,
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-01-21


ded to his own ideas.
How to prevent your hair from turn
ing gray.-Make up your mind to dye.
A poor fellow who was compelled to
pawn his watch said that he raised"
the money with a lever.
1t may be well to give credit to whom
it is due, but as rule one had better
insist on cash down.
When grown-up people predominant
at a children's party, the assembly is
said to be badly adult-erated.
Brigham Young's tombstone, it is
said, will bear the simple but appro-
pirate inscription, "Our Husband" =
"You are as pretty as a picture" is
no longer the correct compliment to pay
a lady. Simply say, "YOu remind me
of chrome"
1.-The best way to cure crying child, +"
says an advertisement, sis to buy ba-
by carriage" That's right: keep the
bawl rolling.
Mrs. Shoddy puckered up her mouth,
and told gentleman friend that one Of
his daughters was "blue net," and the
other 'bronze."
A clergyman who was annoyed by
the squeaking shoes of his parishoners
remarked that some people had "toc
much music in their soles."
A lazy fellow once declared in public
company that he could not find bread
for his family. ''Nor L." replied an in.
dustrious man; I'm obliged to work
for it,
The old maxim, "Be chaste anG
you'll be happy" is contradicted point
blank by Black Hills man, who wa:
recently chased ten miles by party o.
redskins.
"Och," said love.sick Hibernian
"What recreation it is to be dying o.
love. 1t sets the heart aching so deli
cately there's no taking wink of sleeI
for the pleasure of pain ?'
Captain" said a son of Erin as
ship was nearing the coast in inclemen
weather, shave ye almenik on board p
"No, we haven't" "Then, be jabers
we will have to take the weather as i
comes"
A dear old lady presented her son
on his departure for sea, with Bible
On opening it during gale, it fell fron
his hands, and out dropped fine tootl
comb and the admonitory book-mark
Search daily"
Some one wrote to Horace Greele
inquiring If guano was good to put O
potatoes. He said 1T might do for thos
whose taste had become vitiated wit
tobacco and rum, but he preferred gra
Wy and butter.
Beggar-woman: please sir, give m
a few pennies. j havn't tasted food mig
onto two days." Philanthropic gentle
man Cant stop; am late now; hav
got to make speech at the Society fc
the Relief of the Destitute"
A dentist tried his first operation wit
gas upon robust colored woman. Afte
she had used up all the gas in the offic'
she wheeled in the chair and shouted
Hurry up, and bring on another bag
that sweetened wind"
"How dare you say that never ope
my mouth without putting my foot i
itY' demanded Brown of Jones. "
hope you will forgive me, replied IL
latter, 'for, when / said that, |, ha
never seen the size of your foot
"Why don't you speak distinctly
cried passenger to brakeman wi
announced the names of stations in q
utterly unintelligible manner. 81 can
understand word you say" "What
that to me ?" responded the brakema
"YOu don't expect to have a fine, Gle
tenor at $50 a month, do you ?"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-01-21
TURKISH PROWESS.

Much has been said during the pres
ent war in praise of the Turks as a
military people and of their fighting
qualities, but the matter was set in its
true light by Sir Henry Havelock, a
member of the British Parliament, in a
recent speech to his constituents. He
said:
"We were experiencing great fuc-
tuation of opinion with regard to the
character of the Turks. Not long ago
they excited general disgust, but the
tide had since turned, and many people
now sought to make heroes of them.
And why Because they had conducted
what certainly was a very memorable,
remarkable, and In some respects, credit
able defence of the position at Plevna.
He would not deny them the benefit of
that; but when we heard people making
heroes of the Turks it should be remem-
bered that they were admirable in the
same way that the bulldog was. They
had great courage and disregard of
death: but when we had said that in
their favor we had said all that could
be said. 1t must be borne in mind that
they were race devoid of all civiliza-
ing elements and if they went out of
that country which they had occupied
for the last 400 years they would not
leave one trace to show that the provinc-
es they had governed SO long were in
any degree the better for their presence.
Looking at their military performances
with strictly professional eye, he con-
fessed he could not see that they had
done anything so very wonderful after
all. They had, at Plevna, held earth.
works which from their strength were
almost unassailable; in these works
they had lived, as it were, in holes, and
! had shot out of them. On the other
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-01-21

A RICH MANS EcoNoMY.-The late
Sir Titus Salt, the famous alpaca man
ufacturer, though immensely rich and
generous, had the habit of economy. He
was already careful not only of his mon
ey, but of such trihing things as blank
leaves of letters, which were not thrown
into the waste basket, but land aside
for use. When he began to make mon
ey he thought of buying himself gold
watch, but he resolved that he would
not buy it till he had saved thousand
pounds. How proud he was of that
watch in his after life ! 1t was worn
bv him till the close of his life. and
when his own hand became too feeble to
wind it, he handed it to others to be
wound in his presence. He had little
knowledge of literature and little love
of it. "His library" as his biographer
records with pride. swas large and we'll
selected ; but his knowledge of books
was limited, and the range of his read
ing confined to religious publications
and the daily press" In his old age
some one asked him what books he had
been reading lately. ALPACA" was
the quiet reply; then after short
pause he added, IF you had four of Eve
thousand people to provide for every
day, you would not have much time left
for reading"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-01-21
A MIsUNDERsTANDING.

A hungry owl on the belrry tower
Sat blinking grave at the rising sun;
"It's shame" he said, "at this early hour
For the sun to get up and nothing done
Watching all night
And never a bite"
A Thomas cat on that break of day,
Hungry as ever a cat could be-
Prowlng around in a gingerly way,
Came to the foot of that tall bellfree-
Prowling all night,
But never bite.
whats up there on the top of the house?
1t looks like a blrd," said the Thomas cat
Something below move like mouse"
Said the owl. ats breakfast; hurrah for that;
Waiting all night,
But at last bite"
"Il go for that bird" said the Tom cat soft.
"I'm after that mouse" said the owl, "down there
The owl went down and the cat aloft
And they met half way on the belfry stair
Waiting all night
Now surely bite.
As both were blind in that morning sun.
Neither the other could plainly see;
"Pst, pst," Kissed the cat. "Kihoot" said the owl
As they cawed for each other quite savagelee,
And with all their might
Tried each other to bite.
Frantic and fierce was the conflict, too,
Fearful the scratches and boots of pain,
Till the owl to lofty beam suddenly few,
Leaving the Tom cat scratching In vain
A terrible fight.
But both got bite.
"This seems" said the owl, "some horrid mistake.
"You misunderstood" said the cat with frown,
"Lets both apology formally make"
Then the owl he wentup, and the cat went down.
Each got bite,
But the kind wasn't right
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-01-21

ed, and some of the people badly bruised
but no one was killed, and our train es-
capped entirely. The Almighty must
have cared for Big Tom, the drunken
engineer. He didn't get bruise, but
was up and across the fields like deer,
screaming and shrieking like mad til
ger. 1t took five men to hold him after
he was run down, and to-day he is the
worst lunatic in the State
''Tom was good fellow" continued
the engineer, after pause, ''and he
used to take his glass pretty regularly.
l never saw him drunk, but liquor kept
working away on his nerves till at last
the tremens caught him. when he had a
hundred and fifty lives behind his en-
gine. He bsoke out all of sudden.
The fireman was thrown off the engine,
all steam turned on, and then Tom dam
ced and screamed, and carried on like a
fend. He'd have made awful work,
sir, but for Gods mercy. I'm trembling
yet over the way he came down for US.
and I'll never think of it without my
heart jumping for my throat. Nobody
asked me to sign the pledge. but l want
ed nv name there. One such night on
the road has turned NE against intoxi-
eating drinks, and now that I've got
this red ribbon on, I can talk to the
boys with better face. Tom is raving,
as l told you, and the doctors say he'll
never get his reason again. Good night
sir-my train goes in ten minutes. >
| Occsdent.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-01-21

When Abraham Lincoln was poor
lawyer, he found himself one cold day at
a village some distance from Spring
field, and with no means of conveyance.
Seeing a gentleman driving along the
Springfield road in carriage. he ran
up to him and politely said: .'Sir, will
you have the goodness to take my over
coat to town for me?' with pleasure.
answered the gentleman. "But how will
you get it again ?" .'Oh, very easily"
said Mr.. Lincoln, "as / intend to re-
main in it, 'Jump in,' said the gen.
tleman, laughing. And the future
President had pleasant ride.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-01-21
THE UNITED STATES LIFE.
SAVING SERVICE.

)
the total number of vessels driven ashore
was one hundred ard thirty-four, hav-
ing one thousand FIVE hundred persons
on board, thirty-nine, or about two and
half per cent, of whom were lost.
The total amount of property saved was
over one million seven hundred thousand
dollars, and the total amount of that
lost, over one million five hundred thou
sand dollars. A brief summary of the
operations of the service since Mr.. S. J.
Kimball took charge of it in 1871 will
better show its usefulness, however.
Four hundred weeks occurred, imper-
illing over eleven million one hundred
thousand dollars worth of property !;
nearly seven million dollars worth of
this was saved, and of four thousand
seven hundred and thirty imperilled
only eight were lost. Two thousand
eight hundred and sixty-seven days of
shelter were afforded at the stations to
nine hundred and forty-nine persons.
During lS7l.72 the operations of the
service were confined to the coast of
Long Island and New Jersey; in 1872
"A they were extended to Cape Cod and
Rhode Island, and in the next year they
were further extended to the limits of
the present districts.
The stations are nearly all alike
simple wooden houses, with steep gable
roofs, the only projection about them be-
ing the lightning-rod, and the only
ornament coat of red-brown paint.
From May until November they are un-
occupied, though all the apparatus is
ready for use; and the rest of the year
each becomes the home of keeper and
six surf-men, who are paid. forty dollars
month, and are chosen for their ex.
perience on the beach. Their duties
are concisely stated in the instructions
of the Treasury Department, to which
branch of the government the Life-sav.
ing Service belongs. During the win.
ter months the beach will be patrolled
by the surf-men every night. The pa
troll will consist of two men from each
station, one following the beach toward
the next station to the right, and the
other preceding toward the next sta
tion to the left, and each continuing his
walk until the patrol from the adjacen
station is met Each patrolman will
carry beach lantern, also red CostoI
hand-light and when an inlet separates
the station, he will exchange signals
with the patrolman on the opposite
shore. On those parts of the coas
where the two adjacent houses can no
be seen from each other, the beach will
be patrolled sufficiently to bring then
in sight three times between sunrls
and sunset. On the discovery of
wreck or vessel in distress, the patrol
man will Immediately burn his red Cos
ton hand-light, both to alarm the station
and give notice to the wreck that succo
is near. then returning to the station
and assisting in the preparation of tn
apparatus. Boats, etc., will be prepal
ed for immediate service. . Wsusam Il
Rideing, IN Harpers Magazine fir Eel
rat0TY.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-01-21
EVERY DAY.

Time is drawing nearer, nearer,
While our heads are turning grey;
Tears are falling on life's mirror
Every day!
Time is closing Beauty's portals,
Flowers are blooming to decay;
Fate is delvng groves for mortals
Every dayl
While our pleasure boat is rolling
Over life's eventful spray,
Funeral bells are tolling, tolling.
Every dayI
While the laurel wreath is shading
Ger the fame-lit brow Of clay,
Sad we see the garland fading
Every dayl
Love, then take your promised treasures,
Fame is dazzling to betray;
Life is fading with its pleasures,
Every day
Hence while all things are declaring
Death a seeker for its prey;
Let us be ourselves preparing
Every dayI
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-01-21

Boston TRAvELLER-PRIcE REDUCED.
"A large reduction has been made in
the price of the Semi Weekly and
Weekly editions of the Traveller. See
announcement in our columns.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-01-21

We need to learn the lesson that this
life is given up only that we may attain
to eternal life. For lack of remember
ing this, we fix our affections on the
things of this feeting world, and when
the time comes that we must quit it,
we are all aghast and terrl6ed.-FulLer.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-01-21

IF a note be lost or stolen, it does not
release the maker; he must pay it.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-01-21

Contracts made on Sunday cannot be
enforced.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1878-06-21

IL Is claimed that Vanderbilt exhibited prcat
nerve and shrewd business saQacity IN the pur-
chase q stocks and railroads controlled by
him. Yet whenever he made an investment
ne received in return an equivalent either as
ne own, or as collateral security DIR. X. v.
Pierce has invested many hundred thousand
dollars ~ advertising, dependiny entirely upon
the superior merits Of his goods for security.
The unparalleled popularity Of his family
medicines, and the annual increase I'm their
sale attesis, ia arguments stronger than words.
OF their purity and efficiency. II the blood be
Impoverished, the liver sluggish, or there be
juniors, bloiches and pimples. DR.. Pierce's
6oiden Medical Discovery will effect a speedy
anu perfect cure. III the bowels be cuneti-
paied use Dr. Perce's Pleasant Purgatiye Pei
let's Debiliiated females, suffering with those
peculiar DRAG gngdOwn sensations and weak
nesscs, will lind DR.. Picrce's Favorte Prescrip-
ton safe and certain remedy Prompt relief
and permanent cure have 50 universally fol-
lowed ~ use, that the doctor now sells Il un-
der positive guarantee.
OAKLAND. Douglass Co., Oregon. Jan q. 1877.
DIR. PIERCE. buffalo. n. ":
Usar Sir Your Golden Medical Discovery
has cured my dau4h liter OF ruitrr. after MANY
had failed. Inclosed please find
Sl.5o for copy Of The Peoples Common
Sense Medical Adviser. With us Il takes the
place OF the family physician.
Yours truly, Aaron ALLEN.
Mt. VERNON Ohio, July 10. 1876.
On PrEucE Buffalo. n. ":
Dedr SL--Four bottles OF your Fayorfe Pre-
scription has entirely cured nv wife. We en-
ployed three different physicians and many
remedies, but found no relief. With thank
ful heart, am,
Ever your friend, ArcusT wARRrSo.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1878-06-21

To BE or Not to BE. ut Il a question
OF importance TO all afflicted creatures.
whether they will be cured OF disease by
remedies which leave long train OF bad a.
ter-effects, or by medicine that strikes At
the cause Of the malady and eradicates II,
without doing any more harm than that much
watery gIIFFoRD's FEBRIFuGH, for the
cure OF al diseases caused by malaria. n 4
palpable, powerful Anfiperiodic and Tonic,
and yet never produces headache, noise in
the ears, deafness, or any OF the evils conse-
quent on the use Of Quinine, Arsenic, etc.
j. Z. RICHARDSON, prop'r,
For sale by all Druggists. ST. Louis.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1878-06-21

the magnitude ~ the thought ~ action and Sine. fei
Ss NV hispnoslh, m4 WI supply ne ~ re 2
eessiuiiJ after the sigor 81 youth Is past
An Fine Mixed Cards, l0c. 25 Chrome. Zoe. !:
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An Mix.d Cards, with name. in case isc. an gold,
- x0c Agnts ontnt Toe. George Turner. Bristol CT
On Mixed Cards, Snowflake. DaInask. &c. no
W. alike with name. l0c J.Mnkler Ca, Nassau Ny
zS fashionable Cards. no 2 alike, withname.
~ lOc. postpaid GEO. REED Co. NassanSx
Or LATEST STYLE Cards, no two alike. with
~ name.iuc ftkLONG COLI NcIark s.. cnicael.
Uto National Copying Co.. 800 W. MzdisoDsi Chicago
COG A WEEK In your own town. Terms ana
wv - ouint Tree Addrs Il Haiiakco. .portiandAie.
FREE Tn n Reduced Price List q Scales.
I'LL ~ 6LI CHICAGO SCALE Co. Chicago. IL
$5A9Ay e :s,! sss mt ZINE AZ! NOVELETTE,.
AA9P a MONTH. AGENTS
WI OLAUdHioS wilson ~ Co. !. c iSsln
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uhuA ~ retail price VI 0oniyfl85 ureAl
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s ssz II o., ss ssr Ii si.a nsz T..
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1878-06-21

NfLHoFT's FEVER ANp A0rE Toxic Chill
SrAE SAFE ANp SthE DIR Nilhcft's Tonic
iscuratiye anil protective II viii curet Ii Island
protect from further attacks III reputation h
established. lts composition l. sinir.. and
scientific II contains 10 poison. M acts
promptly and its effects Are permanent. II A.
cheap, because II saves doctors bills Ifis HARM
less, speedy N action and delightful III H. ~
iccts. Try \ AMI PROVE All that's said WnrE-
LOCK. FINI.AY ~ CN Ptobrictors. New Orleans.
foK SALE ny All. DNiCDIsrs.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1878-06-21
You Slave Never

Used DooLEy's YEAST POWDER get package
The next time you hny baking powder. ana
test y. Alter few trials. We are confident
yen viii give i the preference over IN Others.
tls absolutely pure, every Package l. strictly
iuii weight aud II never fails ia making rolls.
bread, biscuits, calie. corn-hread. wailles,
mullins. AMI all similar art cies, deliciously
light, good, AMI Wholesome.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1878-06-21

WASHINGTON, June G.-Thc investiga.
ton into the alleged louisiana ana Florida
frauds was continued 20 day Mr.. COX. Of the
committee. said be had received from stan
w Mathews the originals ~ the correspond
eLcr between him and James H. Anderson.
NhiNn fne Clerk read Copies Of the NOR.
important ~ the letters had been before pre-
srntcn ~ the committee by Anderson and
A. we're ~ about the same tenor, viz. mr.
gently soliciting MATHEWS 20 secure him an
"nicr, Upon mutton or Ger. Butler a rr-o-
lntinn Was adopted inviting MIR. Matfhrwsto
hpfcAr before the committee aud make any
explanation regarding the correspondence
That be may desire.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1878-06-21

To THE American boy there Is an
awful, majestic difference in weight
between the butt-cnd Of fish pole and
hoe handle.- Syracuse Sunday Times.