South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1878-03-08

fast asleep; wncreupon he said, Now,
beloved friends. l am in q great strait
for if speak too softly those at the fur
ther end of the church cannot hear me,
and if talk too lond shall wake the
chief man in the congregation
EF Two lrishmen were proceeding in
company to ajailyard to witness all ex,
ccution, when one said to the other: Il
say, Pat, where;wud We be if the hang,
man had his dues?' Sure said Pat,
I'd jist be waikiki down this shtreet all
alone
HAZE HEAP LIKE NIGGER-The fol-
lowing spicy anecdote is told OF the late
John y. Floyd. Secretary of War in
President Buchanan's Cabinet:
His complexion was dark, and his
hair although Of fine texture, very cur
~ clustering in close ringlets all over
lis head. lie always dressed in exceed.
inSly good taste. and sported the best of
broad cloth, so he presented m excep-
tionnlly fine appearance. During the
administration reception was'given ut
the White House to a delegation Of In
dams from the plains, and Gov Floyd
attended, rs Secretary OF War, to receive
the gentle sayages and present the Pre-
s'dent He was arrayed in foil evening
costume, swallow tail, choller and white
kids, in order that the occasion might
he impressive. The Aborigines were
gotten up III the most extravagant dis
play of feathers, paint and gew. gaws.
After the ceremony had been concluded,
Gov. Floyd, by way of advertisement
proudly touched his own manly breast
andrcmarked To- one OF the chiefs in the
usual vemacular:
Me lndian-Nirginia sblood -Poca-
hontas!
The chicf'gazed at him from head.to
foot looking very doubling, then put
ting his hral on the Governors heai {,
an feeling his urls.sgravcly answered {:
No Indian no Indian! Hair heap
like niger"
President Buchanan fairly reared at
the sally, in which Gov. Floyd, who
loved q joke, even at his own expense,
heartily joined. Historians say he ne.
vct subsequently, claimed Indian blood
TRUl.Y LCCKY.-On one .oc the nu-
crous railroads which center,in Mime
apOlis, gang of section men found Il
broken rail the other morning. One Of
the men . son of,Erin,' was told to go on
some distance and flag q train that would
soon be due. while the remainder. of the
men with their hand.car ran back to the
sLalion-Lo procure another rail with
which to repair damages. Pat examine
ed the rail aiteri. his companions had
gone, and then in moment of confus-
jon turned the wrong way and followed
them back towards the station. lie did
not discover his mistake until the train
he had been intent upon tagging, having
safely passed over the broken rail was
laundering at bis heels. Frantic over
his error he whipped out his. flag, and
waving it wildly ut the approaching
train. danced up and down the track
like mad man. The engineer whistIcd
down breaks, the train came to q sud.
den stop. and conductor and engineer
rushed forward to ascertain what tho
trouble was Pat, still waving his FAC
shouted:
Och murther and turf 90 hacl, wit
your thraiu For the love ohiven run
her back quarters O mile 4
rail is bruck cntoirely, ANA suro.it- flag
gin ycz am gill such times rs raypairs
is made
They assured him that II y rail was
broken, bacl, there, they had passed O..
,eri, in safety, and would therefore
proceed
PA, hcayel a great sigh Of relief "a
harcaIizcd the siuation, and exclaimed 4:
Thanks be TO God But wasn't f.,
IoJky / tagged We onyhow
gin the sentence Jones strikes
William asked % school teacher, what
IS .he object OF ,uEss" IIigher'wag
,s and less work. promptly replied the
intelligent youth
zThu czlu.-itc, leading a dog by .
string. loungcd up 90 the tickct-onicc
window Of q railway station & inquired :
Must I-aw- take ticket for apuppy
IIo was naturally both surprised and an.
,yej when the ticket seller answered,
5u q slightly bowi'dcrci tone, after %