Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1878-05-24
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Items OF Interest.
ing to blows-The fruit trees.

Coming to blows-The fruit trees.
Indians are not at all contagious. They
are very difficult to catch.
When do ones teeth usurp the func-
tions of his tongue1 When they are a
chattering.
Experience is a dear teacher old
maxim. Not half so dear as pretty
school marm.
When is a mad bull as Objectionable
as an absen husband? When it is
getting on towards one.
The Minneapolis fire has raised the
question, ''Will dust exploded" We
have known it to blow up.
Ten per cent. of the husbands income
is what it is legally decided in England
he shall pay for his wife's dresses.
"Brilliant and impulsive people,"
says an exchange, 'have black eyes"
Impulsive people are only too apt to get
black eyes.
The amount of British capital invested
in various ways in the United States
and American securities of all descrip-
tions is roughly estimated at 500, ,000,-
900.
A wit, on being asked what are the
most common monosyllables in the
language answered: 81 don't know; but
the most common money symbols are
I. o. U.
"What are Russia's termsl" asked
visitor, referring to the San Stefano
treaty. "Two dollars year, in adj
vance" replied the abstracted editor
HaWkeye.
While little girl was playing in
graveyard at New Lexington, Ohio, the
other day, she suddenly ran against a
gravestone, which fell over upon her,
inficting fatal injuries.
1876, $52, 10000 worth of raw cotton
and other stuffs, and bought in return
$45, 900, 900 worth of silks, velvets, dress
goods, and other articles.
A man at Evansville, Ind, in fit of
jealousy, cut his wife's eyes with
butcher knife for the purpose of "spoil-
ing her beauty" The unfortunate
woman will be totally blind for the rest
of her life.
When you rut your pen-holder be-
hind your ear be sure that you have the
pen to the front. Ideas of great pro-
fundity are sometimes banished hope
lessly from the mind by failing to OBJ
serve this rule.
In 1877 there were 2,999,67 electors
in Great Britain and Ireland, or more
than one in twelve of the population.
There are about nine million qualified
voters in the United States, or one in
every five of the population.
It's all very we'll to talk about econo-
my, but the difficulty is to get anything
to economize. The little baby who puts
his toes in his mouth is almost the only
person who in these hard times man
ages to make both ends meet.
Scene in car: Seats all occupied.
Lady enters. Elderly gentleman rises.
"Don't rise, I beg of you. much pre-
fer you should keep your seat, sir"
"Should be very happy to accommodate
you, madam; but 1 want to get out
here"
A. B. Robson has probably the larg-
est poultry yards in New York. He
keeps 5000 ducks, 1000 turkeys and
1,20O hens. They consume sixty bush
els of corn, two barrels of potatoes and
other food daily. His fowl house cost
$1,000.
He was fully six feet tall, yet he
Strengthened up and exclaimed: "Talk-
ing of short men, look at me!' and no
one could tell what he meant until he
turned both pockets wrong side out and
gasped "Who is there in the crowd
that'll lend me quarter?"
The Emperor of Austria, on his visit
to Venice in 1876, conferred decoration
upon a colonel of the italian army in
command of the fortress of Mantua
The latter, in accordance with the rules
OF the service, was compelled to accept
it; but few weeks ago, having resigned
his commission, he at once returned the
decoration to the Austrian Government,
saying that he did not wish to hold any
honors from Emperor Francis Joseph,
who in 1852 had caused his brother to
he shot and had condemned himself to
the same death.