The anti-monopolist., 1878-06-06
THE PlINSTERS FIEND.

| OIN0 6TS i6'N6s
met him in the cars on my way
from Albany to the Star Office one day
last week. He was pleasant looking
| old man and his better half sat beside
him. The car was as full as an cleo
tion day politician. and l was com
PEELED to take seat Immediately in
front of the happy couple. There
was something about him, however,
that made me feel sorry right away.
He had more talk in him than a school
boy s head has of something else. and
| had not fairly settled before he
began to unload some Of it:
Nice day =
"Beautiful.
Fearful road y
Fearful.
and he got the wedge in. Oh if I'd
only made believe that | was deaf
and dumb.
I've travelled all ever the country,
and | never saw worse road IN all
my life. Why, the road over the
Rocky Mountains ain t half so rough. ;"
summit BETTER responded.
He looked at his companion. whom
he called Minnie and said:
Funny man! Wonder who It's.
Looks like Mark Twain
Then he paused, and just as | was
bracing up and endeavoring to put on
Twanish look. he continued by
saying:
Around the feet.
This made me mad.
~ aI
States, have youl Then of course you
New York. How IS he getting
along!''
..Oh he Kentucky away as much
whisky as ever.
Much more Florida. in con.
sequence. l supposed, suggested.
Utah thought SO if you'd seen
him when | did,
Here the passengers began to look
somewhat worried, and one OF them
asked the conductor how far il was to
the mex. station. Another ventured
that maybe we weren't going far.
Yes continued the old gentle
man, "he tried to make love to Min
ME when l saw him last.
"Arizona foolin," blushingly re-
marked the old woman.
Minnesota liked it, didn't she
asked. and gave him look that init
mated that | guessed that would set
tie it.
You mustn' call her Minnie. 1t
makes her mad. She'd have Georgia
if she had heard you. She Kansas
back when she wants to.
If it Illinois her, of course III re-
frain,' answered.
Here one of the passengers was car
ried out to the rear platform, and
nine-tenths of the others were tearing
the lining out of their coats for wad
ding to put in their ears.
perhaps Iowa an apology, l con-
tinued.
mo, l guess not" he said. without
moving al eyelash. 1t Texas English
people to understand folks. 1t don t
Il Montana thing. TenCes-see-sary =
Ifelt for my pistol Atthis moment
the cars stopped at a station, and
most of the passengers got out and
waited for the next train. The
majority had their heads tied up. |
was determined to fight it out TO the
bitter end, ifit took every safe in
the Union. AS the train moved out
of the station the conductor came up
to me and asked me TO keep still for
God sake. He said the wheels were
getting weak. and the coal had re-
fused to burn. The passengers had
all departed TO the other cars, with
the exception of six. | here looked
determined. They We're not even
pale. was satisfied to give it up if
he was. Just rs had made up my
mind that the whole thing was set
"Ohio y yawned the fiend. Il am
getting tired of this journey.
Il think it has been pleasant.
Wouldn't Michigan for one hundred
dollars. JerseyF'
Without noticing this last query he
said: Hope We'll meet again.
Nevada pleasanter time. Hope that
Maine never have a worse.
At this point one of the passengers
! fell off his seat. He died in a few
minutes. Before the conductor could
get to the water-tank another had
/ breathed his last. Two of the re-
naming ones were stareing ut each
other: and ii was found they had gone
crazy. The remaining two were deaf
and dumb. grasped my valise as the
train reached Jersey city. and started
for the boat. As | WAS passing ont
Of the door the iiend yelled after me:
Yes. New York and New Jersey
and New Hampshire: I've Rhode
Island and Connecticut. Idaho-le lot
of land in Colorado. ! Missis
The doctor says | shall be better in n
week or so.
] METHODIST MINISTER'S ON convJ.