The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1878-06-29

NJ. Labouchere's London Ihath has more
funny stories in it than all the rest OF the
English papers put together. Here is the
Last: s!The records Of Romsey Abbey show
that the curates in the liyings Of St. Leonard
and st. Lawrence received their titheS in
kind, receiving every tenth COW, calf, and
pig. A rather pompous, tight-laced cler-
gymen was one day called upon to christen
q child, but on asking its name the woman
who brought it said, Il don't know, sir;
it's your child, sir!' My chlld?' exclaimed
he. Yes, sir; its the tenth child, SIR"
"Got-any cow-bells?" eyes; step this
way." .eThose are too small. Haven't you
any larger?' "No, sir. The large ones
are all sold" Rusticus started oil, and got
as far as the door, when the clerk called
after him, ssLook here, stranger, take one
of these small bells for your cow, and you
won't have half the trouble in finding her,
for when you hear the bell you will always
know she can't be far off," The farmer
bought the bell.
Among the Zuus, q nation OF the Cafres,
according to etiquette, the mother-ln-laW
cannot face the son-in.law, but must moe,
or pretend to hide, when she sees him. In
this country the custom is reversed. 1t Is
the son-in-law who does the dodSing.-Ca n-
cinnati breakfast Table.
Snodkins lin trepidation to certain emf
nent professor): 81 beg your pardon, sir.
but have got through your examination ~
Eminent professor (absently but kindly !:
"Oh, yes-yes-very certainly, indeed.
What is yonr name, sir?" (Fact. )-Hd'-
card Lampoon.
A sharp little girl in Chicago got out OF
Datiencc with her bashful lovers Backward
ness, and so brought matters to favorable
climax by saving to him, !" I really believe
you are afraid to ask me to marry you, for
you know l would say y es."
The friction-match folks didn't get Con-
gress to release them from putting revenue
Stamp on each bunch. They may plead and
protest their tax as they will, but the cent
OF the matches will hang around it STILL
LotceN Courier.
"Slary": Yes we will advise you. You
say that yolt are nineteen and rich, and he
is seventy and poor. Well, dear, marry
him il YOU love him; but you know you
don't. Nobody ever heard Of such i thing.
Coarse clothes and humble fare honestly
earned are not inconsistent With the man
hood OF men. 1t is wearing a linen buster
all winter and leaning over free-lunch
table that crushes humanity. -Picay1ne.
Where two or three men are gathered to-
sether the first thing to do is to frame con-
stitution and build couple OF bylaws
PicayUae.
A friend of ours in Worcester county is
sixty years old and has just cut new set
OF teeth. He is q cou1b-maker.-Lo'oeA
Courier.
Mathematics. Freshmen at board. Pro-
lessor: Mr.. E., what have you got?" E..
tinnocently): i've got stuck "-Yase Re-
cord.
We labor under the impression that Mrs.
jerks is bigger man than old Butler
Buffalo Express.
The army OF Pennsylvania has been re-
organized, with one major-general and four
brigadiers to commando icayatne.
When the women get control they will
organize their militia With needle-guns.-
LoeeI Courier.
Does a lawyer use figures OF speech in
summing up an argument ?-C Commercial
Bulletin.
Good buy--two quarts OF strawberries
for d quarter. - .oarell Courier.
Boat-raceg fhis month. June is the month
OF rowses. Neso York Graphic.
Cents OF duty-Those paid at the custom
house.
Photograph is feminine gender, because
ii talk baek. - Boston Post.