Litchfield enquirer., 1878-07-11

Society of Jesus, is twenty-two years old, and, is young man of very scholarly tastes, who was educated at the Yale College Law School.
 CLIPPINGS.
 Saleratus Smith, nominated for governor of Michigan, is self-raised man.
 A prima donna who lately sang to good crowd in Philadelphia, has gone to Bawlfto more. k s&2 1Iss5 3Je~
 It has been discovered that the man who took look at the 'lay of the land, ]" inspected basket of eggs. @f
 The only way to find out the possibilities of the alphabet is to run over the names in a list of college graduates.
 ''There! that explains where my clothes line went to!" exclaimed an Iowa woman as she found her husband hanging insthe Eable.
 When you hear man braggings about his many virtues, don't let him see where youS hang the key to your hen roost.
 Are you the mate of this ship2' said Ia newly arrived passenger to the cook. 'tNo, sir. I am the man that cooks the mate," said the Hibernian. x-.erv
 '1 suppose" said little five-year-old, in her quiet, thoughtful way, T suppose there are men under ground that push up the flow CTS, don't you, mamma?' sa.2 s@ss
 Two little girls were comparing progress in catechism study: s1 have got to original sin," said one s'How far have you got p "Oh, I'm beyond redemption" said the other. Sitting Bull simply wants territory of his own on the Yellowstone, with Vienna coffee, rolls, with raspberry jam, stewed quail and peach brandy sent up to his room.
 The street of Paris are kept so clean and tidy that the people who are run over and killed do not look so mussed up as New Yorker who slips on an orange peel. s~sN
 Professor "Gan you multiply together concrete numbers ?" The class are uncertain. Professor-"What will be the product of five apples multiplied by six potatoes?" Freshman (triumphantly)-"Hash." 1
 Did you ever dabble in stoeks?'' asked a lawyer of witness who was known to have fled from his native land to this asylum of the free "Well, yes, got my foot in lem once, in the old country" was the reply.
 After all, there is such thing as genuine gratitude in the world This is why, the men whom Grant pardoned for their crimes in. the
 
 advocating his election in 1880. : A sharp little girl in Chicago got out of pa- tience with her bashful lovers backwardness,: and so brought matters to favorable climax by saying to him, 'I really believe you are afraid to ask me to marry you, for you know would say yes"
 What blessing Evarts would have found the phonograbh in the Beecher- Hilton trial. He could have loaded one with 'I object" in the morning, and kept it going all day, there- by saving himself lots of wear and tear. A mild criticism does one good. "What was the sermon about this morning ?" asked a mother of her child "Well, was the reply, ''it was about-let me see-it was about twen- ty minutes too longj that's all l remember,
 At a wedding recently, when the clergyman asked the lady, "Wilt thou have this man to be thy welded husband ?" she with nodes ty which lent her beauty an additional grace, replied, Eff you please"
 Little Binks (to unsteady party who had ldrched heavily against him)-I beg your par don, Pm sure but I'm very yshort-sighted. Dis- sipated stranger-Do' mensh't, shir; Tve met goo many shor'- r'-sighted peoplesh morn; bu' you're firsh gen'ish made 'shlist' 'poligy Snodkns Gin trepidation to certain eminent | professor): ''l beg your pardon, sir, but have 1 got through your examination?" Eminent pro- lessor (absently but kindly); ''Oh, yes-yes- | very creditable, indeed. What is your name, sir" (Fact)-
 The man who carries around the contribu- tion box in church ought to be supremely hap l py; he can see how much every one puts in and no one can tell how much he takes out of his pocket to put in.
 | A little girl was reproved for playing out doors with boys, and informed that, being sev- en years old, she was ''too big for that now. y But, with all imaginable innocence. she replied 'Why, the bigger we grow the better we like 'em."
 When .Roseville man awoke the other morning and caught sight of his wife's keramic l jug all adorned with figures of alligators and serpents and bugs and other things he groaned l inwardly and muttered. By jingo, Pve got
 Beecher laments that 'sThanatopsis'' is only beautiful heathenism." He did not volunteer this opinion during Bryant's life, for that stuI- dy individual might have ventured a compari. son between Bryant's heathenism and Beech CTS Christianity.
 | The Yales were defeated again Saturday by the Haryards at base ball. It begins to look as though Yale will have to go back to educa. tional matters to gain a reputation.
 Professor-'.W What is a monarclly?" Fresh man--'sA people governed by aKing.a Pro fessor-t'Who would reign if the King should diet" Freshman The Queen. .,A Professor -"And if the. Queen should die ?" S Freshman -'The Jack" Correct!
 s'I wish to ask the court" said a facetious lawyer, who had been called to the witness stand to testify as an expert, Eff I am con- l pelled to come into this case in which have no personal interest, and give legal opinion for nothing ?" "Yes, yes, certainly !" replied the mild hammered !, judge; ''giye it for what it is worth"
 They were standing at window. ssIn lock- ing out doors do you notice how bright is the green of the grass and leaves?" asked an eld. erly gentleman of little girl whose home he was visiting. 'sYes, sir" aWhy does it an. pear so much brighter at this timer" he next asked, looking down upon the bright, sweet face with tender interest Because ma has cleaned house and you can see out better" she said. The elderly gentleman sat down. I A Boston man has vest that Fanny Fern made with her own hands. And we will bet a hundred dollars that it never did and never will fit any man in this wide, wide world that they can't tell by it's shape, whether il was originally made for fat woman or a lean man; for man with sway back. or man with hump on his back like camel Wo man, heaven bless her, is the light of our homes, but when she tries to make mans vest, the angels weep. And when she makes a pair of pantaloons for him, the immortal gods just hold their sides and run away out into the woods and roll on the grass and howl 1 A fond father sent his young hopeful of foul into an adjoining room to get book. The boy came back and said it wasn't there tsYe. it is, my son" said the father; sit's on ths table" The boy went back and reported tagain that there was no book there The ia ther got impatient and sent another child fol the book, and in the meantime the mothel brought the book from different room, with the remark, Here's your boeki it was on tn, mantelpiece" The gentleman composed himself bread and about ten minutes after word discovered young hopeful still standine