The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1878-06-22
VARIETY.


several years, permanent dent or hollow IS
produeed in the liver, which may be seen very
phinIy after the woman is dead.
The orphan boy has one advantage over the lad
who Is blessed with full complement of parents
Eis mother can't make him new pair OF
trousers out of his fathers old coat.
's Hey, Tommy - said fve-year old urchin
% another in the street, So we've moved into a
house they call fats, n yer don't have ter go up
sthirs but ride up in the ventilator, n mother
sends all the washing to the foundery. .''-BostOn
Commercial Bulletin.
Mark Twain called his dog Joe Cook because
he could not understand him. But classical
man out in Venice, Illinois, has ehristened bis
cat Othcllo, or the Newer of Nenice.-B0StOn
GLoJe And romantic North Hill man has
named his new girl baby, George Yeliot.-Bur
Engton HGlCkeye.
The name of the phonograph in German IS
unsergehausnekeitigenf phfteichtaunsge-
spreecher. When yeu wind that up on the cylin-
der and leave 1t till It gets cold, and then grind
it out it usually tears the machine to pieces and
strikes the house with lightning g.-BurLngtOn
Harkeye.
a. Ny love- said the Count to his wife, "you
remember the secret that y. coufided to me
week ago? Well, | am now authorized to reveal
it to you.' Thank you for nothing; L don t
bare to hear it, q Don't care to hear it-why?';
s. Because you wouldn't tell it to me then. A
week ago 1t was secret; now it is only news"
GRAY hair is not only honourable, but when it
clusters in snowy luxuriance on the head ola
married man, it is an indication of perfect domes-
hc felicity. When one considers how few mar
ried men there are who have any hair left to turn
gray, when it comes time, what wonder that men
regard gray-haired man with feelings of ex-
aggerated envy and veueration.
- Always keep a smile for mother is the
latest sentimental song published;
Always keep smile for mother,
Do drain the festive jug,
Leave enough somehow other
just TO moisIen her old mug.
Touch it lightly. leave some in it,
Just q swallow, that's the
What you'd drink in half minute
Is enough for mothers smile
The chorus is too long.-Burhngton Ha,okeye
THRILLING y CONGREGATION. Some of the
American preachers of the past have delivered
sermons more startling than edifying, and have
condescended to singular tricks to arrest and
take the attention of the audience. Lorenzo
Dow, one of these preachers, it is said, was on
his way to preach in South Carolina, under
a large spruce tree, when he overlook a
coloured lad who was blowing a long tin horn,
and could send forth n blast with rise, and
swell. and cadence, which walked the echoes of
the distant hills. Calling aside the blower,
Dow said TO him, 80 What's YOUR name sir ~
Nv name-Gabriel, SIR said the brother
IN ebony.
8. Well, Gabriel, have you been to Church
HiII?"
:. Yes, massa, is been dar many time
Do you remember big spruce pine tree
on that hill?"
.sOh, yes, massa, knows dat pine
- Did you know that Lorenzo Dow had
an appointment to preach under that tree
tomorrow ?''
=. Oh, yes, massa. everybody knows that
- Well, Gabriel, | am Lorenzo Dow, and
IL you'll take your horn and go tomorrow
morning, and climb up into that pine tree and
hide yourself among the branches, before the
call your name, and then blow such blast with
your horn as l heard you blow minute ago
III give dollar. Will you do it, Gabriel?'
ssYes, massa, 1 takes dat dollar
Gabriel. like Zaccheus, was hid away in the
tree-top in due time. An immense concourse
of persons, of all sizes and colours assembled al
the appointed hour, and Dow preached on the
Judgment of the last day. By his power o
description, he wrought the multitude up tC
the opening of the scenes of the resurrection
and grand aSsize, at the call of the trumpet
peals which were to wake the sleeping nations
- Them said he, suppose, my dear friends
that this should be the hour. Suppose you
should hear, at this moment, the sound o
Gabriel's trumpet?'' Sure enough at that mo.
ment the trump of Gabriel sounded. TIE
women shrieked, and many tainted the mer
sprang up and stood aghast; some ran; Others
fell and cried for mercy; and all felt for q
time that the Judgment was set, and the books
were opened. Dow stood and watched the
drifting storm. till the fright abated, and some
cred the coloured angel who had caused
larm, quietly perched on limb of the
oruce, and wanted TO get him down tc
him, and then resumed his theme, saying
lrbid all persons present from touching the
T Up there. If coloured boy with a tir
.rn 3an frighten you almost out of your wits
@ will We do when you shall hear the trumpet
.ol. sr of the arch-angel? How will you be
% stand in the great day of the wrath oi
''-NeIo Quarterly Magazine.