The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-05-25

-" Sales by candle'' was the method
of sale during the seventeenth century.
A wax candle, about an inch in length,
was set On the edge of knife, and he
that bid most before the candle was out
was the buyer.
The Legislature of Virginia at its
last session passed law making it a
misdemeanor for anyone to pay the
poll-tax of another in order to get his
vote.
The Creston Qowa) Gazette said
Helen Potter, the elocutionist, was
tramp, and Helen went $50 miles only
to find out that that was the way the
energetic printer spelled trump"
Somebody estimates that every man
who lives to be sixty years old has
spent seven months buttoning his shirt
collar. Thirty more years should be
added for hunting up the collar button.
Washington was native of Vir-
ginia and could not tell a lie. The
Moffett bell-punch is also native of
Virginia, and cannot tell lie. There
is similarity here, if you can Ratchet
out.
my dearr' she remarked through
the telephone that ran to her husband S
office, "you ought to be spanked for
not changing your shirt this morning."
The young bookkeeper who received
the message didn't feel like keeping up
the dialogue.
circumstances alter cases. Many
a man who was designed by nature to
sing tenor in a church choir is obliged to
| perambulate the earth and confine him
self to simple melody like " Umbrella
a-a-s and parasols to men-n-n-dr'-
| Rome Sentinel.
-" Who is the Man of the Hour?n
asks a modern poet. We know: the
fellow who never keeps dinner waiting
Il minute. (Our wife told us that an
swer. The one we thought up had
something in it about quitting work
promptly).-HaW6Eye.
The story comes from Deadwood,
| in the United States, that member of
a certain church congregation was
bowie-knifed by Jealous deacon for
putting a counterfeit quarter in the con-
tribution-boX, and the excited pastor,
without leaving his pulpit, shot the
deacon for creating a disturbance dur
ing divine service.-L0ndon Times.
Americas most astonishing exhibit
at the Paris Fair is her preposterous
crowd of Commissioners. In that she
beats all creation. Where other coun-
tries are content with modest half
dozen, she puts in gross. The puny
representation of products for such a
prodigious supply of Commissioners is
Falstatf's pennyworth of bread to an
intolerable deal of sack.-N. Y. Sun.
"A brother of Rev. Henry Ward
Beecher believes himself the possessor
of oceans of personal magnetism, "be-
cause" he told aChicago reporter, " he
once wrote a young lady letter and it
actually her feel sleepy" 1t may
be true; letter from an old preacher
to a young lady may have that effect;
but you bet your magnetic soul, Brother
Beecher, letter to a young lady from
young man of the right age is one of
the wakingest things you ever saw a
girl get hold of.-Hawb-Eye.
"A citizen in want of some flower
seeds was hunting around in the mar
hCu NlClI lc Cdllc upon II
woman surrounded by numerous bags
of seeds, packages of roots and parcels
of sprouts. Madam" he began, after
close look at her face, two years
ago | purchased some seeds of YOU.
You told me to plant them in gravelly
soil, and | did. Not seed came up.
Last year | purchased some more of
you. You told me to plant them in
loamy soil, which | did. Not q seed
came up. Madam, what have you to
say?' She pinched out few seeds,
wrapped them up, and as she thrust
the parcel into his hand she replied:
I'm very sorry-plant them in stiff
clay soiln'-DetrOH Free Press.
HAIL, SMILING MAY.
1t rains all morning and it rains all night,
And it rains all the livelong day;
And it gets up to rain when the stars are
bright,
And it rains when the dawn is gray.
1t shuts up the sun in a chronic eclipse,
And it pours in torrents down the streets:
In the shallowest place you could sail great
ships
And navigate the cutters with fleets.
Hail, thou Aquarius you damp old god,
You ought to be ashamed of yourself;
You had plenty of time to rain all April,
without keeping it up till the middle of
July.*
*There isn't so much poetry in this closing
stanZa as there seems to be in the other two
but there is u laundering sight more truth