Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-04-07
Miscellaneous Items.

"Would you like to have some CANDY.
grandma?" eyes, my boy; where is its"
"Why, if you will buy me ten cents
worth, will give you half"
Hearing that Mr. G. F. Train now lives
on piece OF dried apple day, the Buff
falo Express inquiries with intense feeling
"Are our dried apples to be wasted in
this manner?"
At one of the schools in Cornwall. Eng
land, the inspector asked the children IF
they could quote any text of Scripture
which forbade man having two wives
One OF the children sagely quoted in re-
ply the text "No man can serve two
masters"
A poetess weighing one hundred and
sixty pounds yearns :. to twitter as bird
on some lone spray" When she gets ON
spray and begins to twitter there is
going to be an item for the local paper,
unless the spray is as thick as an under
ground gas pipe.-Norristoaon Herald.
After the rain one evening Somer
set woman found her husband on his
hands and knees in the back yard trying
to crawl through a puddle. In tones of
anguish she asked him what he was doing
there. "Sh!" he said, "the direct cable
is broke, an (hic) I'm grapplin' for it,"
-Nep York Herald.
Whatever you do, never set up for
critic. We do not mean a newspaper
one, but in privite life; in the domestic
circle it will do you harm-if you object
to being called disagreeable. If you
don't like any ones nose, or object to
any ones chin, don't put your feelings
into words. If any ones manners don't
please, remember your own.
Mackey, the California millionaire,
came to this country a poor Irish boy.
Stewart, the New York millionaire, came
to this country poor Irish boy. We
might give othe. illustrations, but these
two are sufficient to show that our strug-
Cling American youth made great mis-
take by not coming to this country poor
Irish boys.-Norristoaon Herald.
People are not all made to suit one
taste, rccollect that. Take things as you
find than, unless you can alter them.
Even dinner that is swallowed cannot
be made any better. Continual fault
finding, continual criticism of the conduct
of this one and the speech of that one, the
dress of the other and the opinion of an
other, will make home the unhappiest
place under the sun.
"What is your religion, my friend2"
asked clergyman of tramp with cal
cium nose. "Me2 l belong to the Moth.
marian denomination" "Indeed never
heard of that sect. What are its tenetsl"
earnestly inquired the parson. why,
we believe, ye see, thut-we believe thut
-wall--we believe thut whutever hez
happened wuz to be, whether it comes to
pass or not"
Two religious shepherds, as they appear
to deck-hand on a Brooklyn ferryboat,
may be seen in this word picture: "You
know Talmage, the dominic, don't you?
Well, he's curiosity. He always sidles
on to the boat, and acts kinder modest
like till he meets some one he knows, and
then he talks SO the whole cabin can hear
him. Hes very nice talker, but he
tries to be funny, you know. Beecher is
another talker. Every one knows him,
and he keeps his head bobbing till he
gets through the cabin. He generally
stivers straight through, and if he has
any women folks along they have to find
their own way. When he. gets outside
he talks. Generally somebody speaks to
him, and then he leans back against the
rail and talks