The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1878-06-11

lage, because We haven't any agency; but
every now and then he bribes some honest old
granger IN another town, by giving his family
some extra work, to buy him some liquor at
MS agency. he is just the happiest fellow
you ever saw while he is drunk, but when he
pegins TO contract he is dreadful miserable,
linen ne wants to initiate again, and thinks IL
ne could keep inflated all the time he should
be happy forever; but reckon he would fetch
up in delirium tremens, and see snakes crawl.
ing round him, just as our Greenbackers will
in reputation and ruin If they don't take q
rest and come down to specie payments between
drinks.
amt quite sure that we sho lldn't have
done better to come down to specie payments
with jerk Just as they did in Jackson's time.
1t would have snapped off a good many more
heads, but it would have been over with, and
not TO be helped, In little time. Perhaps you
wouldn't feel 1t hurt SO much to have your
thumb shipped off with a buzz saw as you
would to have it sklfully removed by Q sur
geon.
1t seems great pity, though, when we ars
almost down to hard pan, and ready to begin to
build up anew and safely, that these Green
hackers should be trying to set back the good
time from coming. 1 can understand why
some OF them want to One of our traders tells
me that he knows we shall have to 90 through
it again it we let up now, but, says he, 81 owe
good deal of money, and if I can't get helped
out must bust up.' He wants somebody else
to pay his debts
Then there is this idea of getting along with
out work, just as If people ever did or ever
could find out the way to do that. One OF our
farmers has got pretty well off on a small farm
by keeping his land rich and putting his work
on TO few acres. The other day neighbor
came over and said to him II wish you would
give me some advice. Here you are getting
rich on this little farm and am getting poorer
every day with five times as many acres right
along side of you. What shall 1 do first?"
Take your arms off the fence and go to work."
said the farmer. He knew it wasn't any kind
OF use to try to teach that man anything, be-
cause he was trying to find q way to get rich
without working. 1 suppose il all the rich
people in the country were kept on bread and
water and tnsir incomes divided among the
people, and the national debt repudiated to
save the interest, we should hardly notice the
difference, there would be so many to divide
among. 1t wouldn't help rs as much az the
difference between good crop and poor one,
which we don't make much fuss about, though
we are always glad to get it.
But there are always some men anxious to
try over again all the old exploded humbugs,
or to invent some new ones like them, Just %
they take patent medicines and keep on dying
Our barber thought once he had invented .
new plan to run steamboats, that would make
his fortune. When he got his boat fixed I
went down to the pond to see 1t. He had .
crank with piston running out through the
stern and board on the end Of 1t. When he
turned tae crank out went the piston and the
board pushed the boat ahead; but the next
turn brought the board back, and back came
the boat. whoa, hishg' said the boys on the
bank, and the barber scratched his head and
pondered over it. That's what he will do after
he gets his greenbacks out aud finds they dom
work the way he expscts. JOHN ALDEN.