Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1878-12-14

call Of
Time
THoRNE'S SToRy-THE WORLD.
The world was created in six days"
.. Hold on. cried the manager, .'what do you
intend TO relate?'
why replied Thorne al intend to begin at
the creation and give the story OF the world
from the year 10 date
Then we will never get our dinner said
Myers, alarmed at the prospect. You have
no light to tell a story as old as the world"
Wait till you hear my embellishments" re-
turned ThOrne. "Iou wouldn't know that it
was the same story"
helped them out of their dilemma by proposing
that the assembly be spared the infection prom
ised them by Mr.. Thorne. by unanimously eX.
cus1ng HIM both from the penalty imposed and
the relation OF his own version OF the world ana
its story.
Mr.. Thorne was excused.
Stage manager Collins responded promptly.
COLLINS sTORY-A RECOLLECTION OF "oLD''
Most of you boys knew Mexican Buchanan, or
'Old" Buck. as we used TO call him, for you
Travelled with him when he and the Governor
were partners. Well. we've had many a laugh
about Bucks small salaries, but there was one
thing he paid in money and not in promises
The story goes that one of the utility men went
to him one day and said:
Mr.. Buchanan. Id like a little money to-
day: haven't had any money for fortnight"
Buck took out package of currency, and, Sc
Letting twenty-five cent note, said:
There's quarter; don't ask me for more
money. again in a month"; you'll be overdrawing
your salary the first YOU know"
Purcell" called the manager.
PURCELLS STORY-AN EDITORS RETORT
Down in Maine, where / summer, there are
two rival local papers, the editors of which are
constantly spiashing each other with ink. The
ceived from one of the matters, suggested that
his neighbor OF the Sun and Noon had better
''SEOot his dilapidated tile and buy new one, ;"
TO which the Sun and Moon man replied in his
a Is
and we can put it on without folding our ears
over our head. as the Signal man is obliged to-
Jones, who played responsible business, was
the next hunter-actor. He began-
MARY had little lamb
THAT won't do shouted the governor. and
fye others cried in chorus, Cheese it,
He began anew:
THE boy stood on the burning deck''-
And six hunters interrupted him with a ste2
tOrian:
No
IL tell you cOnundrum will You let me
OFF, inquired Jones.
You may tell your conundrum,' said the
manager, in the tones of a judge giving a
ruling.
why am like George Washington"
Because you cannot tell story" il was so
easy that they all guessed it.
come, Mr.. JONES', prompted the manager
hurry up with that story"
But told acOnundrum-yOu told me to tell
it,. eXpOStulated the actor.
And by 50 doing replied The manager,
''haye some claim upon the mercy OF this
court.
Jones pondered for few moments; and then
burst out with some show of desperation.
JONES sTORY-THE TRUE STORY OF TUE CHERRY
TREE.
Before George Washington was Old enough
to be- the Father Of his country and the boys
used to call him Legs and 'GandergOOSe and
snow ball him going home from school and rub
him drift. he lived in the palatial mansion of
bis PARENT. who raised garden truck for the mar
Eet. His dad had large apple orchard, which
he was very proud of, and the old gentleman
used To walk out in ii every morning to see the
peach blossoms and pick the ripening purple
plumbs- one morning he told George, says he:
Look here, young man, if you don't split
YCJlr mother some kindltng wood before night
Ill tan YOU within an inch of your life 1t is our
passion on earth TO work. and when return
from the fox hunt let me see that your time has
been well employed. There is altogether too
much idleneSS In Virginia for the good OF His
MaieStyS Colony.
George didn't want to split wood; he wanted
10 go and play seven up with the boys in the
barn. and he did go. but not until he had taken
the AK andcut down his fathers pear tree which
grew the premium fruit which drew the first
prize at the county fair.
when his I'd come home he licked George
like all possest, because he lied about it. George
got his mad up and went and fought it in the
wars and licked the British, and got TO be Gen.
eral and President. although he was always
sorry that he wasn't pirate
You shall play In two pieces at the matinee
on Washingtons Birthday for that" said the
manager, when he had concluded.
The last man was Props" who sat at the
managers left. The young man suffered. but
managed to make himself understood when
time was not pressing.
PROPS STORy-THE STORY THAT WAS NEVER
TOLD.
/ am the heir of my uncle who is one of the
best StOry-tellerS that ever lived. He writes for
the Ledger; all OF his stories were true-when
they happened. He told me beautiful story
once, and l would tell it to you now, but says
he to me: pete, if you ever tell that story I'll
disinherit you, and wouldn't tell it for all the
world"
..You can fire off them guns yelled the gov
ernOr jumping TO his feet; THAT is the worst one
in the whole cahOOdle,'
THAT Is So, claimed five others.
Ingenious props arose, laid a butt of tree
left by the WOodnen across the barrels Of the
seven guns. cooked them, tied seven cords to
seven triggers. uniting the cords TO single line
which he held in his hand; he laid Hat on the
ground behind big chestnut tree and calling
out, cried:
Lay low
And pulled on the line.
Bang. Whang, bang. bang. wnang
The explosion was deafening, and after the
smoke had cleared away ii was found that the
managers queen Anne flint lock was blown
into SlnithereenS, and the barrel OF property
gun was separated from the stock.
Homeward started the hungry hunters. On
arriving at the hotel, after weary march, the
landlord remarked as they filed In:
Ibid you hear an explosion while you were
in the woods? j think DupOnt's powder mag
azne has blown up twenty-five miles from
here
Tie hunters smiled and said that they had re-
marked Il singular noise.
''What did you get?" asked mine host. looking
at the empty game bags, and seven hunters
with one voice replied:
Tired and hungry
POISONOUS PAINTS AND WALL PAPERS.-Dr. ii.
G. Bartlett. in paper read at the Cheltenham
tEng.) congress OF the social science aSSOcia-
ton. said: Il ntil the autumn of last year was
unable 10 form any accurate idea OF the fire.
quenCy OF cases of severe Illness OccaSiOned by
poisonous paints and wall papers. ! had, 1t is
true, within my own professional experience,
known OF several fearful outbreaks of lead poi
SOnlng among the work people employed in
white lead works, and among painters and
others working in an atmosphere heavily laden
with the Saturnine vapOfS given Off In the pro-
cess OF applying such paint or during It's dry
instances respecting wall papers which were
suspected of being cOlOred with arsenic. in con-
sequence OF Illness OF the type recognized as
arising from these sources But when / was
requested by Mr.. JabeZ IIOgg, the well-known
surgeon and microscopic. to furnish some par
ticularS Of the more striking cases had inveS
tigated, to be laid before the government was
astOniShed TO find that during the last II years
have traced back no less than 1913 cases OF i'll
ness attributable either TO the diffusion OF car
Donate OF lead common white paint or to ar
! sentcal or antimonial cOloring matters in pain,
| or on wall papers. Others have been working
| In the same field OF observation, and OF those
| who have witnessed the danger of permitting
| the use OF poisoning pigments and wall papers
| could mention the testimony OF eminent med
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