Stevens County tribune. (Morris, Minn.) 1877-1880, 1878-06-13
Miscellaneous Items.

Bob lngersoll says: women has the
right to do as she pleases." Well, wheth-
or she has or not, that's exactly what she
d@es-if she's married.
"What is wisdema" asked teach
erot a class of small girls. A bright
eyed little creature arose and answered:
Information Of the BRAIN"
The latest style of kids is the twenty
seven button gloves, which ale Joined
back of the ears and serve to keep the
Z hair from tickling the neck.
Oil of eucalyptus is said to be an ex-
cellent local an9sthetic. A drop placed
on cotton or wool and inserted in the
cavity viii relieve the toothache.
"Beg pardon for stepping on your
train" said fop at ball; then added,
"you ought to have had a cow-catcher on
it," and would have caught caif,'
said the lady.
A Scottish clergyman quoted text OF
Scripture in his prayer, and added. for
the instruction of his audience :: For that,
o Lord, is tho correct translation of the
passage"
Octave FeuiIlet says: Providence has
so ordained it that only two women have
true interest in the happiness of man
his own n, other, and the mother of his
children. Besides those two legitimate
kinds of love, there is nothing between
the two creatures except vain excitement,
. painful and idle delusion."
When Eugene Hale married Miss
Chandler, Papa Zach. Chandler gave
him 100000 for wedding present; and
at the advent of every grandchild, check
FOR 100000 is forthcoming, to he placed
to the credit of the child as nucleus of
its future fortune. Babies are never I'M
welcome in that household.
A young and somewhat dull tyro at
the bar pleading before him commenced:
"My lord, my unfortunate CLIENT then
stopped, hemmed, hawed. 7hesitated
Again he began: my lord, my unfertu-
nate client'--anothers stop, more hemming
and confusion. Pray go on, sir" said
the Chief Baron. SO far the Court is
with you" Il i
1t may be all right for border to fall
in love with his landlady, and she, if un-
married or a widow, violates no law in
returning his passion, but it is totally OPP
posed to all sentiments'and proper, appe,
lite to send him a lock of her hair through
the medium of the butter or the hash
served up for breakfast. Philadelphia
Post.
A little boy in Sioux City Sunday
school put poser to his teacher The
lady was telling her class how God pun
ished the Egyptians by causing the first
in each household 70 be slain. The little
boy listened attentively, and at the proper
interval mildly inquired:
What would God have done il
there Lad been twins"
Gail Hamiltons latest epitome of Mas
sachusetts: "That lovely, beloved, bu
exasperating old State, so itch and pros
porous and powerful that can shed her
reformers like water from a ducks back,
and sail along steadfast and stately under
a shower-bath of selfcOnceit and wrong
medicines that would sink forty tathoms
deep weaker commonwealth"
One of the most remarkable things in
human nature, however, is this wiling
ness OF woman to sacrifice a girls life for
the chance of saving the morals of a
scapegrace man. If a pious neither
can only marry her son Beelzebub
to some "good, religious girl" the
chance of his reformation is greatly
increased. The girl is neither here nor
there, when one considers the necessity
for saving dear Beelzebub.--Edcard Eg-
glest0n.
The spirit of self-sacrifce is one.of the
great beauties of holiness. Husband
yieloing to wife, wife 10 husband
brother to brother; sister to sister:
friend TO friend: in great things, but in
small, especially. First and formost
see that the spirit is with you at home
then carry it abroad into the world. 1t
is spirit that will sweeten happiness
and brighten troubles; and when the
soul is ready TO wing it's flight ito Its
eternal home, it will have the unspeak-
able consolation of knowing that it has
not lived to itself; that il, has left the
world happier and better in some de.
gree than it found it; that it has been
aithfut to its earthly mission.
"Woman can make man better, but sh
has nc special power over brutes; hence
she must first destroy whatever brutalizei
her companion, or she can have over hin
little influence for good. Intoxicating
liquors are, in all countries, her deadlies
foe, destroying her home AMI loved ones
and the susceptibilities of the race of i'm
provement. The present activity of womel
in the temperance reform is, withou
exception, the most hopeful! sign of tn
times But wish they appreciated NOR
than is yet apperent the necessity of pre-
serUtng the fruits Of their la6ors. For, sa
what you will, temperance reforms hay
been spasmodic. Reformed men arous
community and, for avhiie,--it is
Id On of repentance and reforms So fa1
so good. But, during that-tinle the liquo
seller retires to his den and shuts tlIeadoo
only waiting till the excitement sub
sides, and he can come forth again. n =.
A few days ago q petition was filed i
Texas court, ia which the plaintiff wa
an old Mexican woman. The Court, a
usual. wanted security fer cost. 60
Said the lawyer, - She is not require
to give cOst-bond. She is pauper, an
will make an affidavit to that effect
Is Why, she used to own real estate
observed the clerk. @
know she has got nothing now,
retSrted the lawyer.
Have you collected your fee
advanceT'
You bet did"
"Its all right, then; am satisfied ST
is pauper now" sight the clerk.
horrible case of wholesale noisonin