Connecticut western news., 1878-01-17
WIT AND WISDOM.

Fame is the shame of immortality, and is itself a shadow. .v-s.z.4.-s, |,
 -Fun'S advlce to gardeners-To de- stroy weeds, marry widows. 70 ,'sasE 'a, g
 God pardons like a mother, who kisses the offence into everlasting for getfulness. .es f '".ts9
 Fire and sword are but slow engines of destruton in comparison with the babbler. H..' 4 Ev#seah
 An apprentice to merchant tailor sponged dollar greenback to prevent it's shrinkage. +'". fse3 .
 A woman too often reasons from her heart hence two-thirds of her mistakes and her troubles. 4. @'. .. v -Clergymen, like brakemen, do great deal of coupling, but they only couple the tender. .,....
 A New Yorker remarks that Bos- ton girls are not so we'll educated as the boys, but they know more" '.....
 One of our readers up town is sort of subscriber. He takes the paper when the other man is not around. ........ .
 When man has nothing in the world to love, he is then in the best con dition to sacrifice for the public good everything that is his.
 With all his treachery and mean tricks, there's one thing the Indian ought to have little credit for. He never steals an umbrella
 A more glorious victory can not be gained over another man than this, that when the injury began on his part. the kindness should begin on ours. '
 You can get a very good Idea of natural selections" in it's practical workings, by viewing a celery glass after it has been once around the table. "'-r
 A liberated French soldier, who said MacMahon was not wounded ut Sedan. but paid doctor to say he was, has been sentenced to six months imprisonment,
 Rev. Jeremiah Hallock once said to young minister who complained of h1s small salary, "My young brother, per haps it is all that Christ can afford to give you." .f.es. | To know a man, observe how he wins his object, rather than how he loses it ; for when we fall, our pride supports us when we succeed it be- trays us.
 A North Carolina paper speaks of a baby which was born black and subse- ouentl, turned white. In this latitude baby is usually born white and turns to lively yeller. " 'gs
 A new song is entitled, "Trust me Darling, I'll be True" That is what they all say. But don't trust him on short acquaintance. The probabilities are taat he has wife iR another town,
 In answer to the question" Why do young men leave the farm ?" an ex- change replies, "We think it is because farm is cumbersome and inconven- lent thing for young man to take along with him." : .= ,..
 Young man, save the pennies, and you will have some dollars after awhile, and before you have pranced half way around the race-course of life you will find that dollar is mighty good friend to have with you. ...4 .ae...s s,,r.
 "A vote of editors is proposed as to the relative degrees of their animosity against three classes of correspondence: l. People who punctuate with dashes. 9. People who "quote" every phrase they have ever heard before, including all proper names. 3. People who un- derscore all their, so-thought strong points. ra.H..
 Charlie May had been taught by his father that God made all things. He began to inquire in detail in regard to various objects. Coming out one day where his father was at work, he set his bare foot on n thistle. "Oh papa, what is that P' That is thistle, Charlie" Y" "Thistlel did God make 1t g' |" Yes, Charlie, God mnde the thistle" "Well, he whittled it pretty sharp, didn't he" i.a.sf1 sa+''.'
 A little four-year. old girl, being left under the charge of her Aunt Sarah, during the absence of papa and mamma in the West was very naughty the otPer day, and was sent to bed. On saying her prayers, Aunt Sarah was edified by hearing-" Pray God, bless dear papa, dear mamma-and Aunt Sarah, If you have n mind to. But that don't matter much !" This is perfectly true story.
 Sheridan, to test the acoustic quail ties of new theater he had built, desired the carpenter to speak on the stage, while he would go and listen to him from the gallery. "Now, then" sad Sheri- dan, when he had ascended. The car penter responded "I and my mates have been working here for the last six weeks, and we should like to see the color of your honor's moneyl' "That will do," said Sheridan "the acoustics are perfect"