Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1878-11-27

"Ah! I'm in luck" said Jones as he
entered the barber-shop and found the
barber reading a paper; "wOn't have
to wait for my next" and he tossed his
hat into a corner and seated himself for
| q shave.
SHOW Is this?" said the barber, read
ing from paper that marks its witty
column with blue pencil; ''by George,
how's this; pretty good, take it," and
| he read:
"Did you ever see pump handle
anything? Did you ever see witty
| cism? Who ever saw dog call her ?'
and the good brroer laughed heartily
at these scintillations of wit, and said
that ''sOme of them fellers are most
blamed clever"
Then he turned to the yellow fever
department, and, after reading three or
four dispatches, asked Jones If he
thought the scourge would reach Oil
City.
Jones said there was possibility that
it would get here by the middle of the
winter, and he would like to be shaved
and fixed up before 1t arrived.
The barber said it was a terrible
thing, yawned, laid down the paper
and shuffied up TO the chair. He ar
ranged the towels about Jones neck,
felt his beard, run his fingers through
his hair, scrutinized wart on the side
of his nose, turned his chin and asked
him if he had his tooth fixed in the Oil
regions or in New York.
Jones answered as best he could, con-
sidering that the barber still kept his
lip hauled down taut.
After examining the dental work on
the tooth. which he unhesitatingly
pronounced "good job" the barber
let go of Jones's lip, and went out to
throw u stone at dog that was barking
at cat in the back yard.
When he came back Jones said he
would like to be shaved as quickly as
possible, as he was In somewhat of
hurry.
Certainly, certainly" said the
barber, and he spread the lasher over
Jones's face and began TO hunt for a
razor. After examining several, he
began to slap the strap with one, while
he remarked that fall had probably set in
in earnest, and that the base ball fever
was about as bad as ever. &c. Giving
the razor one pull down over the side
of Jones's face, he wiped of the blade,
laid it down, took up another, examined
its edge and whipped the strap with it
as before, asking Jones If he thought
business wasreally picking up any, and
if he thought it would rain.
Jones moved uneasily on the stocks,
and said he was sure there would be a
storm, and he wanted TO get shaved and
have his mustachs waxed before the
lood came.
The barber grew pale around the
mouth and his lip quivered. ''You said
that once BEFORE" he remarked curtly.
"Don't say it again, please, or there'll
be trouble. I'm gentleman when deal
ing with a gentleman, but know when
I'm insulted, sir"
swell, confound ir ALL" exclaimed
Jones, very much out of patience, "I
came here to be shaved and not to be
talked to DEATH"
80, you want TO be shaved, do you,"
exclaimed the barber in a rage. "You
don't want to be talked 10 death, don't
you? A barber can't open his mouth,
can't he? o, no, barber Is doggoned
machine, | suppose, and must move
about his work like wooden Injun in
front of cigar store. All right! all
right. You shall be shaved and have
your moussache waxed so blamed fast
III make your head swim!"
And buckling down so his work he
shaved Jones In two minutes and hall
by the watch, and cut him seventeen
times by actual count.
MOral-Let a barber talk. 1t is
cheaper than to be kept away from
business for two or three days while
you stop bleeding.