Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1878-09-12
ODD NOTES.

The tobacco crop in the Connecticut
Valley is remarkably fine.
The last language spoken on earth will
probably be the Finnish.
Cleanliness is next to Goodness, The
yellow fever is next to filthiness.
When banks become unsteady eEen the
depositor is likely to lose his balance.
A person looking at amap of South
America wanted to know who was Minis
ter to Equator.
1t is darkest just before day, but Saubo
says that it is the very time chicken is
the widest awake.
Swell young men have their trowsers to
match the color of the door stoop whers
their sweethearts live.
A New York female came TO her death
through her love of dress. She was COW,
and she ate ahoop-skirt.
Send the Indians ton or two Of penny
whistles, and lets hear no more QE-tsieir
untootered minds.-[Puck.
A Chicago man ylhs56~ died of starvation
was the ownleFF-of ten dollar boot-jack
but !icannot live on boot;jackS.
The Pcayune believes that doctors may
differ as to the nature OF disease, and
yet agree as to the price ofa visit.
Painful question by the Sultan "ls
this Turkey, or is it merely portions Of
England, Russia, Austria and other coun.
tries?"
When an artist climbs over fence to
get a nearer view of handsome bulldog,
he must take the chances of sketching the
dog, Or the dogs kctcbing him.
A horse story in the lie Roy Gazette says
two horses fell over 0atka Falls, q dis.
tance of seventy-fve or eighty feet, and
neither of them permanently injured,
A Pullman conductor upon hearing of
the Angel robbery of Sl20,000, said:
"Pshaw! that's nothing. Well have to
sell only $4,000 upper berths TO make that
up
Are you gong to hang me with that
los chain?' asked victim in Deadwood.
That the current noose," said the mat
ter Of fact executioner. And hence he
hung Keokuk Constitution.
A wild-eyed reformer looked in this
morning with twenty-page article on the
labor question, written on both sides Of
the sheet. The pressmen, who know how
III '''dle forms, laid him tenderly away
Mr.. Lockyel, .2t1n Transcript.
while staying at Lake 't..F. ostronome,
witnessed a water-spout. 1t was -
markable dimensions, and very complete
1t traversed about two mics Of Ea1;e Erie
before bursting, aad wasin full view al
the time.
Juliet-"0h, thwear not by the mool
Romeo tn inconthant moon, but il yot
weally love me, thay tho, but if you loy,
me, and are too modethed to thay tho
squeeth my hand Romeo 80, Juliet
shweat Juliet, my own honey blothom'
squeeth.
Old party lwho has sent for the land
lordl-"Landlord | cant get anything K
eat. Your pretty waiter girls devote al
their time to the good looking young Tel
lows. Haven't you got homely ole
waiter who has lost her taste for beauty?'
-IHarper's Bazaar.
One English school-boy declared that al
algebI3 was q sort of a wild donkey. al
over stripes, and another, beng asked t,
describe the chief source Of revenue in tn
Shetland Isles, SAID that the people &c
quired a prccarlous existence by washing
one another's clothes.
Victoria is reported to have said not
long ago, when she had given an order t.
one of her dOmestics: ii am Queen o
Great Britain and Empress Of India; bu
have not power enough to make one o
my servants put Goals on the fire if she hal
been hired to look after the bed-cham
Der,
/; A Frcnchman wants to know why plug
ging watermelon means to cut hole IL
it, while plugging a tooth is to fill it
! Well, they plug a watermelon for a fill
} and dig hole in tooth for plug, and
YOU take your choice between collie and
toothache, Either is very fllin at tht
price,
A Baltimore lady, who had been exceed
ingly annoyed by boys who rang her door
bell and then ran away, set trap fol
them by which a pail of water was to bt
spilled on the next person who rang the
bell In few minutes her pastor called
and was deluged, but retired without
making visit.
| Twenty gallons of bottled lager beel
were discovered III tent at the Spiritual
ist camp.meeting, at lo'erA APl"0~ IN
Mass, and three men haNbcy Cake; bey
for selling whiskey froSTJ ST 00
Another disturbance ~ ""i U''No'
, nrn ] and evnosrre Of ? on receipt of price, and
; sonating material '''D O'N''
"Sweet. to the D WHISKER DYE"
man on passing thewn, so Gents.