The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-08-28
SUNBEAMS.'
Lost OF sea-The sight of land

pared to meet an oat
As they passed gentleman whose optics
were terribly on the bias, little Dot mur-
INJURED: 'Ma, he's got one eye that don't
CO."
Dr. Cameron, of Dublin, says that the
secret of female beauty is layer of fat nn-
der the skin. That's why a 250 pound
woman is always handsome.
"Ah," sighed hungry tramp, ~ wish
I was hoas He's nearly always got
bit in his mouth, while haven't had a bit
in mine for two days"
little Irish boy fell down and bit his
tongue. He arose from the ground crying
and sobbing, and said to his brother: 20,
Staphan think will l ever spake"
Any geologist will tell you that every
flint was formerly sponge, and man who
runs free-lnuch trap viii tell you that
sponge" is always 'hard CASE"
Restaurant patron-'T sausages are
hardly up to the mark ?" Waiter-'They
amt, Ell? Well, dye expect Italian grey
hound and thoroughbred Scotch terrier for
two bits I"
An Alabama negro bet he could stay in q
| smokehouse twenty minutes and endure
the smoke. Three hours after being pulled
out he revived enough to say: "Goily, but
! forgot to shet my mouf!'
| A man may make ten dollars in a busi-
ness transaction without going crazy with
| Joy but this can't be said of him, when he
manages to dodge u horse-car conductor
and secures n ride gratis.
Do not triAe with the affections of an
innocent young city girl; do not try to
make friends with mule by squeezing his
hind foot. If you aspire either way
you will find that life is miserable
failure.
An ingenious chap has invented an arti-
fetal honeycomb which relieves the bees
of much work. He hopes to provide
them with neck-yokes and buckets for
carrying home honey. - New Haven
RegtSter.
A fop took seat in railroad car be-
hind young lady, but, on perceiving she
had dog, he moved off with an air of
trepidation. Don't be afraid" she said,
with reassuring tone; ''Jlp won't bite
you; he doesn't like veal"
The things which people are willing to
give US are the things we do not want
When Lincoln was sick with the small pox
he said to his attendant: Send up the
ollice-seekers. At last I've got something
for each one of them.
gentleman carried letter of introduc-
ton from ii friend to stranger. The
stranger received him coolly, and showed
Linn the door. A little investigation showed
linn tAa reason. The letter said: Treat
him like trunp;" but the stranger read
! it, Treat him like tramp"
1t is estimated that there are $4,000
young goats in the neighborhood of New
York, ali Of them ready to eat up fences
on which circus bills are posted or to de-
liver vacant lots from the false jewelry of
old tin cans. Well, goat while your
young.
In Maine man got too much of the ar
dent aboard, and was put into a coffin to
sleep OF the effects of the liquor. When
be awoke he sprang out in hot haste, ex-
claiming, "Glory! Tue resurrection morn
has come, and Im the first man on the
ground "-B0ston Post.
A little daughter of Connecticut cler-
gyman was left one day to tend door, -
and obeying summons of the bell, she
found a gentleman on the steps who
wished to see her father. Father ISL t
in, said she; but if it is anything about
your soul, l Can attend to you. l know
the whole plan of salvation"
A pretty girl stepped into shop where
her spruce young man stood behind the
counter. In order to remain as long as
possible she cheapened everything, and at
last said, Il believe you think am cheat
ing you ?" ''Oh, no, )" said the youngster;
ITO me you are always fair" "Well,"
whispered the lady, blushing, II would not
stay SO long bargaining if you were not SO
dear"
Sunday night conversation; dramatis
persona, a theological student and two
juniors; subject the existence of angels
First junior: '"lAe Bible indorses the
belief in angels; you know the prayer
of one of the apostles. Angels and min
listers of grace defend u.s." Theological
student: "That is not in the Bible"
Second junior: ''Of course it isn't; it's in
the book of COMMON Prayer, and that is
no authority" Universal assent. t.-Hurvayd
Crimson.
A gentleman at Scarborough, after wav-
ing his handkerchief for half an hour or
more at an unknown lady whom he dis
covered at a distant point on the shore,
was encouraged by warm response to his
signal to approach his charmer. Imagine
his feelings when, on drawing nearer, lie
saw that it was his own dear wif-, whom
lie had left at the hotel only short time
before. "Why, how remarkable that we
should have recognized each other at
such distance !" exclaimed both in the
same breath; and then they changed the
subject.