Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-11-17
dead mother, and could a-got up then

handkerchief and bowed my nose loud
to keep from cryin'. My eyes is weak
anyway. I didn't want anybody to be a
gain at me a-snivelin', and it's nobody's
business what l do with my nose. It's
mine. But some glared at me, mad as
Tucker. Then. all ofa-sudden, old Ruben
changed his tune. He ripped and rar'd
he tipped and ta'rd, he pranced and he
charged like the grand entry at circus.
Feared to me that all the gas in the
house was turned on at once, things got
SO bright, and ! hilt up my head, ready
to look any man in the face, and not
afcared of nothin'. It was circus and a
brass band, and big ball, all goin' on
at the same time. He lit into them keys
like Thousand of brick; he Civ 'em no
rest day or night; he set every liven joint
in me agoin', and not bein' able to stand
it no lonnger, I jumpt, sprang onto my
seat, and just hollered, go it, my Rube!'
every blamed man, woman and child
in the house stared at me, and shouted
Put him out! put him out! Put your
great grandmother's grizzly, gray, green
ish cat in the middle of next month"; I
says, fetch me if you dare! I paid my
money, and you just come a nigh me-
''With that some several p'llcemen run
up, and had to simmer down. But [
would fit any fool that laid hands on
me, for was bound to hear Ruby out or
die. He had changed his tune agin. He
hopt, like ladies, and tip.toea fine from
eend to eend of the key board. He played
soft and low and solemn. I heard the
church bells over the hills. The candles
III heaven was lit one by one; I saw the
stars rise; the great organ Of eternity
began to play from the worlds end to the
worlds end, and all the angels went to
prayers. The music changed to water,
full Of fellin' that couldn't be thought,
and began to drop, drip, drop, drip, drop,
clear and sweet tears OF Joy fallin into a
lake of glory. 1t was sweeter than that,
1t was as sweet as sweetheart sweetenin'
sweetness with white sugar, mixed with
powdered silver and seed diamonds. 1t
was too sweet. tell you the audience
chcered. Ruben he kinder bowed, like
he wanted to say, Much obleeged, but
I'd rather you wouldn't interrupt me-"
"He stopped a minute or owo to fetch
breath. Then he got mad he run his
fingers through his hair, he showed up his
sleeves, he opened his coat-tails leetle
further, he dug up his stool, he leaned
over, and, sir, he just went for that old
palmer. He slapt her face, he boxed
her jaws, he pulled her nose, he pinched
her ears and he scratched her check till
she fairly yelled. He knocked her down
and he stamped on her shameful. She
beloved like bull, she bleated like
calf, she howled like hound, she squeal-
ed like a pig, she shrieked like rat and
then he wouldn't let her up. He run a
quarter stretch down the low grounds cf
the bass, till he got clean into the bowels
OF the earth, aud you heard thunder gal
lopln' after thunder through the hollows
and caves OF perdition; and then he fox.
chased his right hand with his left, till
he got way out of the treble into the
clouds, whar the notes we're finer than the
points OF cambria needles, and you
couldn't hear nothin' but the shadders of
'em. And then he wouldn't let the old
planner go. He for'ard two, he cross't
over first lady; he balanced to pards; he
chassade right--lett, back to places; he
all hands'd aroun'; ladies to the right;
promenade all, in and out, here and there,
back and forth, up amp down, perpetual
motion double and twisted, and tied
down, and turned and licked and tangled
into forty -'leven thousand mixtery.
And then wouldn't let the old pianner
go. He fetcht up his right wing; he
fetsht up his left wing; he fetcht up the
center: he fetcht up his reservoirs. He
fired by files, he fired by platoons by
company, by regiments and by brigadcs.
He opened his cannon, siege guns down
thar Napo]eons here, twelve FOUNDERS
yonder, big guns, round shot, shells,
grapnels, grape, canister, mortars, mines
and magazines, every livin' battery and
bomb a-goin' at the SINE time The
house tremhled. the light danced, the
walls shuk, the floor come up, the ceilin'
come down, the sky split, the ground
rockt, heavens andsearth, creation, sweet
potatoes, Moses, ninepences, glory, ten
penny nails, my Mary Ann, halleluiah,
Samson IN simmons tree, JeroomsaItm,
Tramp Thompson in tumble cart rood
le-oodle-oodle- oodle- ruddIe-undle- uddle-
raddle addle -addle -addle addle riddle
iddle-iddle-iddle-reetle- eetle- eetle- eetle-
eetle. eetie-p-r-r-r-r-lang! p-r-r-r-r-lang!
per lang, per lang! p-r-r-rr-r-r-lang.
BANG.
with the bang! he lifted hisself body
lily into the air, and he come down with
bis knees, his ten fingers, his ten toes, his
elbows and his nose, striking every sin
gle, solitary peg on that palmer at the
same time. The thing busted and went
off into seventeen hundred and forty two
hemi- demisemi- Quayers, and I knowe'd
no mo-. When come to l were under
ground about twenty foot. in place they
call Oyster Bay, treating a Yankee that I
never laid eyes-on before, and never cx-
pect to agin. Day was a breakin' by the
time l got to The ST. Nich'Ias Hotel, and
pledge you my name l didn't know
my name. The man asked the number
of my. room. [ told him. Hot music on,
he half sAoAJor tsoo!' pointedly did.
A Boa-Colstrictor.