Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1878-04-04
Tricks on an Amateur
Bartender.

tured and unsuspecting, but don
, presume too far, or he will be sur
to drop on your little game. Som
time ago Hugh was in Eurekf
Not having anything to do whel
be first arrived in the town, b
wore away good deal of time a
a saloon kept by an old acquaint
ance whom he happened to Gp,
there.
One morning this friend hac
some business out of toxin and go
Hugh to take charge OF the ba
during his absence. Hugh laiC
aside his hat and took up his pc
lsition.
Some person who was in The
saloon when Hugh thus took com
mand went out among the boss
jokers of the town. In pursu.
ance of plan agreed upon the first
customer that arrived said, as be
marched. up to the bar: "Got
any real first rate whiskey?'
''Have l got any good whiskey?
Haven't | I! You don't find any,
thing else passed over this bsr.
Never was finer package of whis
key lugged into Eureka than
what is on tap back in the store
room!"
The man poured out a big horn,
took a light swallow of it and be.
gan coughing. lie ccughed 80
bard that he was obliged to sit
down his glass. he then clapped
both hands upon his stomach and
coughed himself all ahoutthe room
-coughed his hat off and coughed
till he was almost black in the
face--coughed till the tears
streamed down his cheeks-till he
seemed not to have breath left TO
cough more, or utter a syllable,
when he took his handkerchief
from his eyes, shook his fist at
the astonisbed deputy bar keeper
and rushed out of the saloon with
out a word, leaving his glass of
liquor standing on the counter.
Hugh was frightened and bewil-
dered. lie to' k the whiskey bot
tie, held it up TO the light, and
carefully examined it, fearing he
had mnde some mistake. Final
ly, to make sure, he tasted it, and
found it to be whiskey, and pret-
ty fair whiskey, too,
He had but little more than
recovered his usual serenity of
mind when a gentleman c.me in
md said: "Have you got any
good brandy--real, genuine bran
ly-no manufactured stull?3
"Wbat do you take us fol? /
,ried Hugh. "There's not a drop !
1f doctorcd liquor of any kind
lbout this establishment. No
uch brandy as this was ever be-
fore brought to Eureka. 1t cost
S22 a gallon in San Francisco.
is like oil y
The customer poured out a lib
raj allowance, but had no sooner
ttemp.ed to swallow it than be t,
'egan coughing and spat out what
le had taken into his mouth. He
leld both hands to bis cheeks and j
shirltd d round on one heel like a
lancing Dervish, then ran for the
vater pitcher, and finally began
as though he would
ough up bis lungs.
Cough, O ough - hooh hough!'
oughed he. ''Call that brandy"
nd, doubled up like a half open
be coughed himself {
ut of the saloon.
Again was Hugh astounded, 4
nd again be critically inspected
he liquor he had dealt out. He
ras finally convinced that it was
II right, but the fault was 10 the !
'eople = something wrong with {
hem. a ~ s
About the time he had arrived
[ this conclusion a man came in,
nd, spreading himself out before !
he bar to good advantage, said: ]
Have you got good article of
,in--real good, pure gin?' m
"Of course wellaye-never keep .
else. What do you take ,
s lori" and Hugh reached down {
be gin bottle from shelf behind
im with his left hand, while with :
is right he brought Up from un-.