Litchfield enquirer., 1878-08-08
CLIPPINGS.


 Charles Reade's is standing choler.
 How to remove the weeds-marry the wid- OW.
 Marry in haste and the old man will relent at leisure ''
 Civil Service Reform should be labeled ''Please not handle"
 ''Man proposes and"-the lady accepts or not, as she chooses.
 Any American now in Paris may we'll say, ''I was a stranger, and they took me in"
 Barnum is training some dogs to play base ball. They are known as the K nine.
 Mr. Stephens being unmarried, ostentatious- ly styles his Georgia home 'Liberty Hall" The head of Boston man is broader than it is long. This shows what bean diet will do for the brain.
 Constituency thou art jewel !" as the can- didate remarked to the convention that nomi- mated him.
 ''I find your recommendations very good, Bridget" "Yes, ma'am, and now I'll see yours, mann, if.you plaze::''
 Miles seems to bag more Indians when he goes on hunt than Howard does, but he doesn't do it with the telegraph.
 The editor of the St. Louis Post says that only good men should occupy official positions and offers to take one himself.
 Eve never took her husband five miles through heat and dust for the purpose of find ing new kind of bug and having picnic.
 A base ball player was never elected to Con- gress. This fact should be strong induce ment for our youth to organize base ball clubs.
 It is remarked of the average Chicago cou- pie: 1.-Two souls with but single thought how to get rid of each other"
 Jeff Davis asserts his unshaken belief in the right of secession. We'll, for heavens sake! why doesn't he secede? Nobody wants him here.
 In St. Leuis every man is afraid of owning that he is Grant man, for fear people will suspect him of being pardoned whisky thief.
 'tA schooner of beer for five cents" is trans lated by French newspaper so as toread, ''In America you can get boat full of beer for five cents."
 An old bachelor said he once fell in love with young lady, but abandoned all idea of marrying her when he found that she and all her family were opposed to it.
 It is not uncommon for St. Louis citizen to get so hot this weather that he has to be sopped up with handkerchief as big as ta- ble cloth and two inches thick, and put into mold to cool off slowly.
 In announcing procession to occur on the following day the priest sad; ''If it rains in the morning the procession will take place in the afternoon, and if it rains in the afternoon the procession will take place in the morn ing"
 "What are you about ?" angrily exclaimed a country editor the other day to his wife, who was touching up her complexion before the mirror. 'Only getting up my'patent outside,' dear," was the reply.
 Some men are always looking for something pointed in newspaper, and yet if their names are used to sharpen the points they are too dull to see where the fun comes in.
 It requires great moral strength and tena- city of purpose to enable man to sleep till seven in the morning when an industrious fly has decided that he had better get up at half past four.
 A New Haven lawyer has been expelled from the bar for ''endeavoring to defeat the ends of justice" If they should do that in every case, there would soon be room for lots of new lawyers.
 The following is what a rural critic found to say about Brignolis singing: ''Signor Brigno- Ii exhibits unusual resonance and power in the crescendo, being perfectly free from the charge of nasality or stridor in the climacteric fi1s nale."
 There is girl in Santa Barbara with such a big mouth that the other day when she smiled 1 at fellow on the street. kind-hearted little boy exclaimed, with great earnestness sLook out, miss, your lids coming off" An exchange encouragingly remarks that the average young man is so unreliable that fathers ought to hide their daughters What the average young man is afraid of is not so much that father will hide his daughter as that he will hide the average young man. <,
 A soured bachelor writes: There was anoth- CT grand goodbye at the cars at Monson the other day.. Two women had taken seats on the depot side of the car when violent peck ing at the window caused them to open it, and wild interminable chatter of kisses fol- lowed of s'Give my love to Sadie, Lyddie, and Liza. Don't forget our ride to Palmer.'' "IeH Henry to write or we'll be mad l" etc, etc. At this Juncture three bachelor passen- gers forced the engineer at the revolver s mouth to move on, and the train started, leaving the separated party in ssthe midst of broken utter
  T. Dewitt Talmage tells how he consoled a friend who had lost all his property: ssI had | very dear friend in one of my pastoral char ges who lost all his property by the trickefy of others, and came from wealth to poverty. I went in and sympathized with him. He said, All gone Oh, no,' said, didn't you build that iron fence around the church :? He said, Yes did With your own money p ''Yes.' How much did you give towards the church when it was being built ? 'Well,' he said, I gave $4,00O, Now said I, those things are not gone, and you have been con l tributing toward every object of benevolence that ever came up, and those things are sure investments" And that friend, his wife, | three children, mother-in-law and three ser wants lived for three weeks on the remem brance of what he had done for Talmace,s l church. Nevertheless the butcher and the baker, when they came to examine into the ''sure investments commended by MT. Tal- | mage, blasphemed and behaved in a very un- | christian way. : Governor Mcclellan of New Jersey upon | the representations of physicians, granted re- prieve on Wednesday to Benjamin Moves, who was convicted in the Essex county courts of conspiracy to defraud and of embedding the funds of the Newark Mutual Life insurance company, and was sentenced to one year and six months in the state prison and to pay fine of $500. The reprieve is for twenty days and it's only effect will be to keep Moves for. that time in the Essex county jail at Newark. He will be delivered at the state prison on Au- gust 13. Governor Mcclellan says that he