West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-04-13
MIR. Lumpkins Seeks Admission TO A
Heightened Boarding House.
lCnelnnati nrcakfa.t rnhl.

Mr.. Lumpkins Seeks Admission 10 a
Heightened Boarding House.
lCinciunSti breakfast Tablet
Mr.. Lumpkins rang the bell, and stood
stamping impat,ently upon the steps for
minute or SO, and then rang il again.
with more determined pull than be-
fore. An upper window was then raised
and he knew that pair of eyes were
peering down upon him from the floor
above. Then followed noise of de-
scending footsteps on the stairway, and
a grimy, sooty servant girl, with drv.
unkempt, floating hair, opened the door
and showed him into dark, chilly
parlor.
Was the mistress at home?
She was-did the gentleman want to
see her?
He did.
The servant then hustled out of the
room, leaving the hall door open. and
galloped up stairs, two steps at a lump.
Mrs. Jelly" he heard her say, "there
are man down stairs as do want to see
you"
A moment later and Mrs. Jelly herself
walked into the room, arrayed in dark
robe with sort of black lace can ON
the back part Of her head, and an old
pair of gloves minus finger-ends on her
hands.
Mrs. Jelly?
The same.
She had advertised furnished apart
ments 10 let, with---with-- board.
She had
Mr.. Lumpkins then intimated with
timidity that he had called in the hone
that he might be so fortunate etc. etc.
Was he married.
He was.
Any children
One.
About what age?
Two years
Boy or girl2
Boy.
Did il creep or walk
IL could toddle some, but preferred to
travel on all fours.
Was it light or dark?
Light-with blue eyes and the love
liest golden hair.
As for disposition, how ?-amiable?
Well, yes; AZ a general thing-ex-
ceptions now and then-but about the
average, perhaps.
All, the wife-Mrs.- Mrs
Lumpkins.
Yes, TO be sure-thanks Was she
that ls-um--ah-was she inclined 10 be
sociable or reserved2
Ot retiring position-somewhat re-
served, should think, especially in pres
encc of strangers.
Was she professor of religion2
She was.
or what denomination
She L.. 4.
ship with any particular church nj pres
ent, but inclined toward the Calvinistic
in her convictions.
Very good. Was she an enthusiast in
dress2
Judging from his file of dry goods
bills Mr.. Lumpkins was under the i'm
preston he could safely reply with a
most emphatic nod.
Did she dress specially for each meal
Well, no, not as n regular thing, but
if the rules of the house required il. the
husband thought she would readily
comply.
OF course, no trouble about reference?
Certainly not--stacks of 'em--a trunk
full if desired.
Thanks. But Mr.. Lumpkins himself
knew that Mrs. Jelly could not long
maintain the present high character of
her oa---ah--um- -establishment--unI
she were somewhat particular i'm the mat
ter Of credentials 10 insure the admission
OF none but first-class parties. She
hoped that Mr.. Lumpkins was q con
servative thinker and not aggressive in
argument, as in that case she feared an
unpleasantness might perhaps arise be-
tween himself and Mr. Ferguson, an old
citizen from Boston, who was soiourninp
with her, accompanied by his charming
daughter. The young lady was very
esthetic in taste, and it was but due
her position and culture that IL should
be understood in the outset that young
Master Lumpkins-the dear child
should not appear at the-ah-um-
table, except in clean pinafore Mr..
Iumpkins could not object TO n stipula-
ton 50 reasonable?
Oh, most assuTedly not.
But pardon the DOS.
sible infeTence--but Mr.. Lumpkins was
aware that the outward observances of
cultured-ahem-w well, in short Mrs.
Bumpkins was a cOnnoisseur i'm table
etiquette, OF course, and fully cognizant
OF how utterly impossible ID was-ah-
um-that is-many pardons, but duty
was, a. he knew, in her position, mex
Orable--tO which was his accomplished
lady the most partial, if she might ask
the knife or fork2
The fork.
oh, JOY! To be sure, she had never
doubted for n moment but-ah-um---
Dir. Lumpkins could appreciate the try
ing responsibilities Of her position. One
other little matter. He was, of course.
prepared TO adhere TO the usages Of polite
society and shell out for his board n
month IN advance?
Quite so; most assuredly: certainly.
10 be sure. He was just that kind Of n
mint
And Mr.. Lumpkins was elected. on
complying with the fornaities, and
eligible for initiation.
SOME Of the monasteries Of Italy and