davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-01-10
Death In His Earorfta Roha.

Inc mortuary statistics Of the whole civil
lzed world show that about one-fifth OF all
maaklno Ole OF consumption alone. and the
number Of deaths due to consumption bears
greater ratio to the whole number than that of
any otner three diseases together. Moreover,
investigation proves that this ratio is steadily
increasing. Its increasing prevalence has led
TO the popular belief that consumption is in
durable. Every year hundreds of these suffer-
efs seek, IN the sunny retreats of Florida or
the dry atmosphere of Colorado. for health.
and ind only grave. The influence of the
atmosphere-the only remedial agent that
either Florida or Colorado can afford the con-
sumptlye-ls at best only pdsEidtipe. The cure
or consumption depends upon two essential
conditions: LIST, the arrest OF the abnormal
breaking down OF the tissues, which prevents
emaclatlon and, I'd, the restoration of healthy
AuulIol1 III order TO stop the formation of
tubercuious matter. Fulfill these conditions
ana consumption is as durable as fever, TO
fulfill these conditions the required remedy
must increase the appetite, favor the assimila-
uon OF food, and enrich theblood, thus re-
tardlng the development Of tubofcles. TO ac-
complIsh this, more powerful Alternative than
Df. plerce's Golden Medical Discovery has
never been discovered. At the same time II
soothes the irritation of the nervous system
produced by violent coughing, which, in it's
turn, so often leads to more serious results.
Inc use or :" e1pectorants' III consumption is
absolutely suicidal. For, while removing the
tubercles already formed, they produce vet
more serious results by infaning and destroy
ing the sound and healthy tissues. ConsurnI-
ton requires a remedy that will soothe while it
relieves; harsh medicines but add fuel to the
flame that already threatens to consume the
system. The Golden Medical Discovery fulflls
these conditions, and has been pronounced the
best remedy yet discovered to alay and arrest
consumption. .
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-01-10

Few people are aware Of the damage
done by wild geese on the wheat fields
in California. They come in myriads,
and pull up the young wheat by the
roots, and eat it, roots and all. It is
stated in the San Francisco Bulletin
that, on one ranch alone, 5000 geese
have been killed this season, and ia the
county of Colusa alone, last season, The
damage done by the web-footed fowls
was estimated at 5000, 900.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-01-10

BURNETTs FnAvoR1NG EXTRACTS are
used and indorsed by the best Hotels, Confec-
TONERS and Grocers throughout the country.
They are perfectly pure, and Of great strength
at once the cheapest and best-a'td received
the highest award at the Centennial Exhibition.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-01-10
HEART Disease, by it's insidious wol

HEART Disease, by it's insidious work.
ings, has brought many persons to an untlmely
grave. The valves and various parts of the
Heart are very tender and easily disarranged,
which in time will become settled Heart Dis
ease,. for the relief and cure of which we offer
you DR.. Graves HEART REGULATOR, a
preparation long and favor ably known in New
Hampshire, where the Doctor practced as a
regular physician. 1t is not cureall, but is g
medicine which goes straight to it's work.
The HEART REGULATOR will assist the
action Of the Heart aud it's continued use will
afford q permanent cure. Send for pam
phlet, containing full description of its mer-
its, to FRANK E. INGALLS,, Concord, n FL. For
sole at SO cents and 81 per bottle.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-01-10
Romantic.

A soldier in C1omwell's army, passing
with his comrades over st. Mary bridge,
Derby, observed Young girl ladine
water from the river. In the spirit Of
frolic and mischief he threw q large
stone, intending it should startle her by
making sudden splash. But il struck
her on the. head, and made q hideous
wound. She fell into the river. The
soldier did not wait to see that she was
rescued. He galloped on, feeling that
he had been guilty of wanton murder
The unknown consequences of his folly
preyed upon his mind. His conscience
wasalways upbraiding him. Years after.
when discharged from the army, he set
tied down in Derby. He took a public
house in Bridgegate, and, after short
acquaintance with woman OF suitable
age, got married. Very soon after he
saw his wife combing her hair. and in
CURED how she got that great scur
which disfgured one side of her head
She replied: "Some wretch Of a soldier
had once nearly killed her with stone.
but II she ever caught that man she
would pay him of for it. IT is not re-
corded how she punished her husband
when he confessed being her assailant.
or how great was his relief when the
haunting thought OF wanton murder
was removed from his mind.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-01-10

PROFITABLE INVESTMENT. One dol
lars worth Of sheridsns Cavalry Condition
Powders, fed to d coop Of thirty hens Will
yield q profit Of 49, besides preventing all
manner Of disease.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-01-10

I HAVE sold Hatch's Universal Cougll
Syrup for four years. I keep In stock all the
cough remedies considered standard in this sec
ton. None sell so rapidly or give such general
satisfaction as "The Universal" Hadn't you
better try remedy that's commended SO highly
by your neighbors?
EDWIN P FAILING, O8wego, M
Sold by J. Block Il Co., Chicago, I'll.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-01-10
By r. E. RoRRINs. Ire

KEEPS SHIRTS.
KEEPS Patent Partly made Dress Shirts best quail
ty, only plain seams to finish, s Tor ST.
KEEPS Custom Shirts to measure best quality for
So, delivered free, Guaaanteed perfectly satisfactory
RED FLANNEL UNDERWEAR
gndershirts and Drawers, best quality 81 so each
White Flannel Undervests, best quality. 81 so EACH
Ganton FLANNEL Vests Drawers, heavy, 75c. each
SWiied Silk Umbrellas, paragon frames S. each
Best Bingham patent protected ribs, 81 each
Circulars and Samples mailed free on application,
Shirts only delivered free. KEEP MANUFACTURING
COMPANY, 1f;s5 and l67 Mercer Street. New York
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-01-10

Wives KNOW hat the Brow OF Care
Is often soothed by delicious supper, TO
which perfect bread, rolls, biscuit, etc, are 80
important. To have these delicate products Of
baking always reliable, the use Of DooLEY 5
YEAST POWDER is very important This article
is amongthe most valuable OF the day in its
bearing On health. 1t is put up in cans always
full in weight.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-01-10

A LIFE SAVED FOR THIRTY FIVE CENTS.
"A lady in Boston had diphtheria and was al
most dead from stranguIation. She was in
stantly relieved and finally cured by Johnsons
Anodyne L}niment. Every family should have
bottle ready for instant use.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-01-10

DR.. DYcE DUoKwoRrH, the English
surgeon, says that alcohol is food, and
that beer is good for almest everybody
to drink; but he advises that alcoholic
beverages be drank only at meals, and
never to excess.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-01-10
Coughs and Colds yield readily to schen

IT viii pay to read advt. Florida Homes T.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-01-10

Coughs and Colds yield readily to schencks
1t heals the soreness, loesens the phlegm, and
pels it from the system with scarcely an effort on
the part Of the patient.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-01-10
SANDAL- WO0[l.

Apositive remedy for al diseases of the Kidneys
Bladder and Urinary Organss also, good IN
Dropsicai Complaints. ItneYer producessicknsas.
ascertain and speedy its action tits fast supersen
all other remedies Sixty capsules cure in six or eight
days. No other medicinecan do this.
Beware Of limitations, for, owing to It's ere4epns-
cess many have been offered; some are most dangerCn
causing piles, &c.
DUNDAs DICK & CO.'S Genuine SET Cap
sa1es, containing Oil Of Sandal Wood. sold al Drag
Stores. Askor circular or send for So aaS 80
Wooster street, Neao York.
GNU. No. 2
yxTTHEN WRITING no aTgvERTTsE Eeg.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-01-10
NORTEt STAR SEEnS.

'lhe further North seeds are grown the sooner tA
product will mature Send for Catalogue of the mos
Northern Seed Farm in America
HO6AARSTkSHG q - ESVRgEs a GySR 81 paDl Ma,
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-01-31
-------------==-
A New Version of the Seven Ages.

Here comes the Oil City Derrick with
the following improvement (O on
Shakspeare's Seven Ages: ''All the
worlds a stage and all the men and
women merely players, some of them
most eonfoundedly bad players, too;
they have their exits and their entran.
ces but large proportion of them
would rather have whisky as a steady
thing. And one man in his time plays
many ports-right field centre field
catcher, short stop, sc. AT first the
infant mewling and puking in ito nurses
arms, and yelling fire; and then, the
schoolboy, with his dinner-bucket, and
whining morning face, creeping like
snail unwillingly to school, with
sheepskin under his jacket; and then
the lover, signing like furnace, with
a woeful ballad fearfdliy and wonder
fully made to his mistresss eyebrow,
and his coat-tail pockets bag with con-
fectionery; then, soldier, full Of
strange oaths and bugs, jealous of honor
sudden and quick in quarrel, seeking
the bubble reputation even at TIE
cannon's mouth, at $l3 month and
found and then, the Alderman with a
bay window on his stomach, full of
wise sausage and other things to eat,
who charges two dollars for marrying
a man and kisses tho bride without leave
or license. The sixth aye shifts into
the lean and slippered pantaloons, with
or without ruflle-, as the case may be;
last scene of all that ends this strange,
eventful history is second childishness
and mere oblivion, sans teeth, sans
eyes, sans taste, sans everything except
wondrous faculty for lying about
the hot summers and cold winters OF
his Younger days.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-01-31
Paper Collars,

1t seoms at last to have been deter
mined what constitutes gentleman.
The managers of Niblo's Theatre in
New York, have given notice that men
and boys without collars will not here
after be admitted to orchestra seats in
that place. This is the first intimation
the public has had that people without
collars are dangerous, or perhaps not
respectable. OF course, it is to be adj
mitted without much hesitation that q
man without a collar does not look so
completely killing as the man who has
the patience and the knowledge to wear
one with becoming dignity, but there
are some people who seem so out of
place in collar that 1t Is uncomfOrt-
able to have them around when they
undertake to wear that ornamental ar
ticle of modern apparel. These will
have to undergo extreme unhappiness
and strike pity to the hearts of all
around them in reaching the orchestra
seats of the New York theatre. A pa
per colarSyill hereafter be a badge of
characterZyou can take box of them
in your pocketand change between acts.
Perhaps the conductor of this theatre
will also require that all the girls on
the stage shall wear so much as a collar
at least, and that will be enough of a
change from what the theatre used to
be to give it ever 50 much more charac-
ter. The public ought to have right
TO demand something.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-01-31

este al ~ said the old man, in accents
of intense scorn. "Steall Why, you
would be astonished to fad how large a
proportion of the travelling public are
internal thieves. They steal the bed
cloths, pillows, boot-jlcks, soap, soap.
dishes-everything, in fact, which they
can carry off, Everybody, steals soap.
We expect that, and don't kick. You'd
be surprised to hear that noted Indiana
politician makes practice of putting
the soap into his valise every time he
pays his bill. He doesn't seem to use
much of it himself, but think he takes
IL home to his children. The first
thing to be done when fellow comes
to the Office to pay his bill is to send the
porter up to his room to see if anything
is missing. When a fellow comes with
his valise In his hand we are unusually
suspicious. The only way to get even
with the thieves Is to keep 'thief ac-
count.'-Whenever anything is missed
| charge 1t up at fair value, and the
next time | catch a thief in the act
make him pay the entire amount or go
to Jail. One day a nice looking fellow
came down with valise In his hand
and inquired the amount of his bill.
The minute l saw him | knew he had
stolen something so | rang the bell and
gave the porter the wink, | pottered
about the books while the porter was
gone, and could see he was getting un
easy. He had notion to bolt, but just
then the porter came down, and saw
by his eye that something was missing.
Jumped over the counter and grabbed
the rascal by the throat. open that
valise, you ID thief says l. He
got very white about the gills and began
to beg. When the valise was opened,
sure enough there WIS a new bed
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-01-31

spread for which had paid So. 'Bill,
says bring me the account | footed
it up, and it amounted to just $57. 'You
pay that, says |, or go to jail He
thought it was ID hard to have TO
pay for other mems stealings, but on
the whole concluded that il was cheaper
than TO 90 TO the penitentiary. Com
pounding felony? Well, yes, II did
have that complexion. But may be 1t
nipped a thief In the bud. The girls
are generally honest, though once in a
while we catch one of them. One time
there was an internal tree peddler
stopped with us, and he had black vest
stolen. | paid him So for it. He de-
scribed it very accurately. There was
dyellOw spot on the collar, where he
had dropped some acid on it, and his
name In full written on the leather
with which 1t was bound at the bottom.
| suspected the girl Mary. We watched
her for week or two, and concluded
we were mistaken, when one day fell
low came Ia with black vest, and there
was round yellow spot on the collar.
1t was Mary's sweetheart. | cOIlared
him. jerked up his vest and found the
name OF the tree peddler on the leather.
He owned up that Mary had stolen the
vest and given it TO him. AT that time
the thief account was only So, and so he
got of cheap"
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-01-31
WHY Mouse Hides.

Some philosophical body asks the
chronological journal, What faculty is
1t that enables mouse to hide so
quickly? 10 which this answer is
given: "In the first place he has no
self-esteem, and therefore has no digni-
ty to consult in his movements; sec
ondly, he has large cautioness, which
makes him cowardly in reference to
danger, which he desires to hide from;
thirdly, he is so small that ideas, such
ms he has, can go to his extremites
quickly and set them in motion; and
lastly, there is so little of him to hide
that room to hide in is easily found"
Now we would like to know what bump
1t is to make him gnaw at our closet
door when all is still at night.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-01-31

In slang, humor or implied fun or
satire of some sort, is more or less an
element. For example, when a gentle
man who is inclined to talk somewhat
tediously upon a subject which he has at
heart, and on which his hearers are not
much inclined to listen, is told to "hire
a hail." he is generally able to see some
satire and the others some fun in the
recommendation Slang has, in many
cases, a pitch and pungency, which
make it not only pardonable, but toler-
able. 1t often expresses feeling, if
not a thought, of the passing day,
which could not be so forcibly expressed
for the day-in any other phraseology.
1t is generally evanescent; but some
times it endures and becomes part of
the recognized vocabulary Of the Ian
guage. For example, the word mob
was originally slang. 1t is supposed to
be a contraction--the first syllable of
mobile UutguS, scOrnful phrase for the
lowest order of common people. Tandem,
also, was originally a slang word. 1t
is Latin for ''at length;' but as applied
to driving two horses at length instead
of abreast, it is just such Latin as nun
guam dnimuS for "never mind"
Another slang word, Sgell, meaning
grand, fine, pretentious, is now per-
ceptibly passing into the recognized
vocabulary of good usage. 1t is very
convenient and expressive word, and is
used now by the best speakers of Eng
lish without hesitation. 1t can hardly
fail to appear in "the dictionary" Of
the next generation.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-01-31
Make-Believe Marriages.

Every few weeks we read in some Of
the papers of a young lady who went
through make-beleve marriage, just
for fun, and was afterwards surprised to
find that she was really married in the
eyes of the law, at least so far as to
make some disagreeable formaltes me-
cessary before she could be married
again. There is, of course, good deal
of romance about these stories, which
the reporters who relate them usually
make the most of, and occasionally, per-
haps, enlarge upon. But that in some
rural communities a make-believe mar.
riage is esteemed the finest kind of en-
tertainment for an evening party, and
that 1t occasionally leads to unpleasant
complications, is sufficiently evident.
Sometimes the make-believe BRIDE
groom insists upon claiming his now
fearful bride, but will consent to aban-
don his claims for a consideration,
Rarely, as In a case recently reported in
New York, he heroically promises to
return in year to claim his wife if she
then be willing, or, if not, to set her
Tree at his own expense. More COM
monty the upshot of the thing is not
romance, but tears and scandal and
lawyers fees. Sympathy would be
wasted on these fools, and it is to be re-
GREETED that mock marriages do not al
ways bring direct and certain retribu-
tiOn of some kind, for young people
might then learn, perhaps, that mar
riage is not good thing to joke about
and that young women who lightly
takes upon her lips, though it be
"only in fun" the solemn words of the
marriage vow, may get herself into
trouble. There are enough real brides
who repeat these words without mean
ing them, or without understanding
them, and learn their mistake too late;
their silly sisters can find something to
initiate very much funnier than this.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-01-31
Soldier Representation In the House of
Congress.

From the Congressional Directory we
gather that the soldiers of the north and
south are literally represented in the
two houses of Congress. There are, i'm
all, lib officers and private soldiers now
representing their states in the legisla-
ture of the general government. OF
these, 81 are of northern birth, SO of
southern, and two of foreign. The Sem
ate has 10 eX-oflicers and soldiers, con-
sisring offs major-generals, 2 brigadier
generals, ! brigadier-general by brevet,
4 colonels, ! captain, surgeon, and |
of no given rank. In the House of
Representatives there are 9S ex-oflicers
and soldiers; 81 ofthese are of northern
birth, and IS of southern, while 2 were
born under other flags. OF these,
attained the rank Of major-generals,
brevet major-generals, 10 brigadier-
generals, 80 colonies, 4 majors, 3 sur
geons, l3 captains, 3 lieutenants, u
rank not stated. In the two houses we
find no less than 3S generals formid-
able array of stars indeed, and il would
almost seem TO justify Dickens criti-
cisms on our universal "titling," did
not so many of their wearers also wear
accompanying scars to show how dearly
their decorations were paid for. Ma
jor-General Gordon, of Georgia, takes
precedence in wounds; he having
been the recipient of no less than eight
Yankee compliments of a destructive
nature; one Of them sabre-gash on
the face, suggests close quarters and
savage intention. The eagles" are
equally represented; there being 81
colonels in the two houses in the
Senate, and 33 in the lower house.
Ohio has the largest soldier represen-
tation of the northern States-l2; l
senator and II representatives, against
10 civilians; while Iowa stands next
with five soldiers out of nine districts.
All the members of the House from
Minnesota were officers in the Union
army. Alabama is the most warlike in
its representation of all the southern
states, both of the senators and seven
out of eight of her representatives being
eX-ofiicers. North Carolina furnished
to the confederate army two majOr-gen-
erals, one brigadier-general, and four
officers of less rank, who are now bet
ter serving their country in Congress;
while they have but three civilian col
leagues. New England sends three
major-generals Burnside, Butler and
Banks, and two ieutenant-colonels-
Joyce, of Vermont, and Blair of New
Hampshire-all distinguished officers in
the Union army. OF the sixty-one
who served in the federal
army, six were born south, fifty-three
north, and two in other countries. Of
the tifty-one members who served in
the confederate army, fifty were born
in the south and one in the north.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-01-31

mere wreck. spine llJuTeu, Ihe! say :
Fell down one of those horrible preci-
pices; and you did not know?'
Lady Bertha wanted to hear no more.
She crept out of the room, and found
her way TO her own, where she might
indulge her emotion without restraint.
Those few words had told her the
whole story. She knew why he had
not returned TO the inn. She knew
now the cost of the snow blossoms on
which she had trampled.
'Oh, Herbert, Herbert!' moaned the
proudest lady in all England. Her
bert, darling, will my whole life atone
in any measure for what | have done (?
If it may, you shall have it5'
Then, with trembling hand, she at
tired herself for a drive, and ordered
her carriage. She knew that Sir Her.
bert Vane would be found at his moth
er's residence, and she drove thither at
once.
1T is Herbert that / wish to see, not
Lady Vane,' she said to the servant,
who stared at her in astonishment.
Give him my card. 1 know he is an
invalid; but he will see me-
In ten minutes more the door of a
darkened room was opened, and she
crept in.
A figure lay motiOnless upon couch,
and two eager eyes looked towards her.
Come close, said a faint voice; Il
am unable to offer you a chair, or even
my hand. Perhaps you have heard
that have met with bad accident?'
Lady Bertha went closer, but she did
not take chair, she knelt beside the
couch, and looked at the invalid as she
had never looked before.
you brave, great-hearted man. she
said, you refrain from taunting me,
from telling me that bade you bring
me the snow blossom! Oh, know all.
1t was in plucking it that you fell. Tell
me, do you hate me for it?'
He smiled tenderly.
Hate you?' he said. Bertha, let me
keep one thought through the dull life
Imust lead. III had brought the flower,
would you have given me the right to
say love you?'.
The proud head bent itself. The
cheek laid against his own.
You plucked the snow blossom for
me, she said. Il have brought you the
mean and miserable reward-myself.
Such as | am, take me. Let me be your
faithful wife, and do all THAI wife may
do to alleviate your sutferings. | offer
myself to you, and if you refuse me
have deserved it,
You know that | lie here helpless
log You would sacrifice yourself to
be nurse to one like me! | love you,
but dare not
But she sealed his lips with her first
kiss.
SO the most romantic marriage of the
year took place, before long, beside Sir
Herbert's couch, and the few guests
gave fearful kisses to the welded pair,
and cried over their fate in reality after
wards. But from the hour when Ber-
rha's lips touched his Sir Herbert seemed
to grow stronger, and by slow degrees
he recovered, not all his strength and
beauty perhaps, but. still so much that
his life is blessing, and to his wife, at
least, he seems the very handsomest of
men.