Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1878-03-15
F. u ~ :!

UNCLE REUBEN NEWMAN ON O1Io-
TERs.-Dar is three things dat IS took
with tongs, and but barly three. Dey IS
desc, as follers
l. Fire. NE4ssg
II. Shugar.
III. Oshters.
Fust, fire. SIGH fire as l git desc days
are mostly dis here black coal dat grows Ill
de groun' like sweet taters. And It's nigh
ty sweet, when you kin git nuf uvit. But
dat amt of'n. case you las TO buy it, and
you cant buy 'dout money, and money are
skace. When lived wild my ole lnistis at
Gloster Pint had lite 'ud, and fat pine,
and hick,y, and chips, aid con huss IN a
plenty. and fire didn cos NE nutliin. But
now pays fol bubble han full Nv rock
coal, and glad TO git dat. Sich tongs as
has is desc hans, desc wrinkly ole hans,
and tired nuf dey is. 'Twarn't SO at
Gloster Pint, whar my fire crowd Dove
eroun' and could fotch her down any
time day OF night please. Dem days is
gone. I got no use for fire-tongs ana
skeersly no fire to use 'em wild. Dem days
is gone.
Seckin, shugar. Sich shugar as l gifts
desc days ar mesly brown, and small Nv
its age. at dat. l gifts ten-cent with at
time and not always dat, COZ shugar ar
a cash artickle. White man will trus'.
white man, but no man. white nor black,
>wilI trus' niger fur shugar. Niger got
to 90 wild sour mouf- all de year round, cep-
PIN he ar got de cash down on de nall.
.Twarn't so at. Gloster Pint. Oar de hei'
hans had brown shugar, harf a teacupful
at time, but US house boys got de white
Sugar wuz shugar dem days, | tell you
1t come in loafs, dresJ up in plum cullud
suit like ge t-mun, aud stood up like
man. When We wanted some, we oni rest
him-his skin were daZZliu' WhitC-and
laid him down on his side, chopped Off a
sugardishfull wild caseh nif9 and five.
poun' weight. Dem Wuz de days fur
tongs, silver tongs. Dem days is go,s
SIGH shugar as [ uses desc days [ heist,
into my cup wild desc hams aud [ amt
60 no manner O. use for shugar toncs.
Yes. dem days is gone.
Thurd. oshters. SIGH oshterS as | gifts
desc days is seed oshters, no bigger dan
nv nail, and no count at dat But down
at Gloster Pint and de Seven river oshters
WIZ big as de parm Nv my ham, fat as pos
sums, yoller as COLE, Thick as simmons,
and no 'eend, jes no 'eend Nv 'em. Osfl
tiers wus oshters in dem days. My mout
fa.ely dreens water when | thinks bout
'ern. Ny ole marster used to say dat osh
tiers was salt water tateIs, but, shuh ia
ters. can't hold candle to 'em. Nuthin'
don't compar' wild ZEN. Dey is oshters,
and all other eatin ar trash longsde Wv
'em. Up-country niggers don't like de
looks Nv oshters. but will say dis 'bu!
'em, dat dey is de hardest-face'ted and de
sattest-hearted wurrnms dat lives. Dey
is de mos peaceable cattle Oh de planta
ticn, and gives de least truDDli: You
don't have to fence 'em cut like bully ear
lings. nor cut feed for 'em like horses, nei
ther curry-comb 'em. coZ dey got nary
name nor TAIL You don't have to call
'em up like hogs, becoz whar be is dar be
Laws. and oshter wi,ar he lights dar he
stays. Dey is the onlitst things in dis
warl', ccppin crabs and 'ar'plns, dat has
leds and ope, s like Il took, and till you
dey opens rich. Oar is mo- good readin'
one healthy OSllttI GiidIl Ill d WuUl0 IL
berry Nv books. One goes to de head, but
de uther puvvades de inter sistum.
Oar is three main plain pints bout osh-
tiers, which is desc, as follows tii
l. De eatin Nv EN-.
H. De fleets Nv 'em.
III. De quOntlty Nv en-.
Fust, de eatin. Dey is good anyway you
take 'em, if dey amt split. Eff dey is split,
ughoo! look out, But you kin eat 'em
raw and you kin eat 'em cook ID, you kin
fry 'em, and stew 'ern, and bake 'em, and
brile 'eln. and roas' 'em, and you kin eat
'em friZ. A friz Oshter On stomach dat
is over-het b. sperits is de soothenist surop
in de worl7 and OATS de reason dat white
folks at Chester Pint kin out drink crea-
stun But eat 'em any way and dey 'fus-
es deyselves fl ON eend to eend Nv de con-
secushun like de smell Nv coffee and cab
bage in house; dey runs froni sho' to
siiO' like de Gulp Stream, and dey does
you good all over from Atty to Omegree,
ali but de megree, for oshters is pow'ful
fatt'nin.
Seck'n, de- fects Oshters interferes
wild no man. You let oshter lone, oshter
LET Won 'lone, sertn. OShter never git
after you, bout you git after osnster.
Disasters earns de mine. quietS de mar
yes. settles de stommick, and peacyfes de
sperits. IT'S de Ticker dat you mixes wild
am dat gifts up de fghtin' temper, but you
amt bleest to mix, dough you is pOw'ful
apt to. speshly bout Gloster Pint. But
twarnt de Gloster Pint white folks dat
fotch on de late war. Twas de poke ca
tju' up- country folke bout Rlchmun, dat
pokes dar noses wnar dey got no bizness
and de Whiskey-stillil' tackeys bout Gus
tv county in de Vally. Dey done it, Clos
ter Pint white folks loves to eat osiistels
and 20 to Sleep but when you wakes EN-
too early and dar dander is riz, dey de de-
vii.
Thurd, de quontity. Down in ole Vir-
glny. whar [ wuz bon and raise, dey tell
tne dat not less dan 1000 mllyun Nv bllyun
Nv bushels NV oShterS is drug up 0utln de
water annual per year. Dar's de place for
os,ter tongs In de ole days l had my
own Gunner, my own paddle, AMI my own
tougs; and when wanted oshters | jes'
heistt d em. Dem days is gone. Now /
do,l't heist nothin' but wild desc crooked
ole fl gers, dat's like claws, and can't let
go nuthin' when they gifts holt Nv it. l
wish to de Lord dey WIZ claws Ike a
chicken hens, so dat Wllrn ilt on ASH
hank wiG udder niggers could out-scratch
10 and git mo- cinders dan any EN-.
But Ca S money aud a heap Nv il in i~nl
miiyun, NV biiyuns NV shters in d Vir-
gi,n .Why don't dey tax em like dey tax
III ". i;key deys days? 1t don't benove a
a ,igger like me to keep out Nv dett when
NV hite folks is in debt, and may be
h., tr keep my ole mouf shet, but l jes'
til yer pintedly eff dey'll only tack tax,
'lout de size Nv postage stomp say, n
eyery Iiv.n endurin oshter. ii dey Il do dat,
vhy de Debt done up and gone fore you
te;ch it. Has icy loss dart sense sine Ru
biz, Nulnan ltf Ole Virginny? Pears %
ta me. Tack tax on oshters. But "
ewes is ole and my sig,i ar not w''*t t
VIZ in de ole days. Dem days is past and
cone. Ynu may call 'em. bit le> Won
come. no m IA a niger Ga. 3 sleep in de
edge uv woods, GU may sign Tor EN-,