Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-10-27
Hum0r of the Day.

Why should Iadys home dress last
forever!--Because she never wears it out.
You cannot always tell by the way
person dresses whether his pew is paid
The period spent by chicken in the
she'll might be designated as the inter
eggnum.
Why is nail, driven fast into stick
OF timber, like decrepit old mani
Because it's in firm.
Talk about Chinese ways that are
dark! Why, there are over 100 miles of
tunnel in Great Britain.
There is man in Washington the most
powerful in the country. He carries a
horse scar CD his cheek.
Immediately after every hard wind,
farmers come into town with choice lots
OF fresh hand-picked apples.
Mamma, can't we have ANYTHING we
want?" ayes, my dears; but be careful
and don't want anything you can't have"
Mrs. Janville has "put up twelve cans
OF peaches, nine jars of plums, and
bushel OF pears, while her husband has
only ''put up" two stoves and his gold
watch.
You persuade professional musician.
PIANIST or conductor to give popular
music, and then the critics pitch into him
because he 'don't Can't play classical
music"
"Oh, know she loves him." cried the
grief stricken youth. "But how do you
know she prefers your rival?" asked the
friend. "Ah," was the sad reply, ~ saw
her look bias at him.
Passing an automatic buoy which was
blowing its lugubrious note, reflective
Bostonian observed: I'm glad the buoys
have got tooters at last. Their educa-
ton has been neglected"
An old coquette, and one very fond of
her "reminiscences. and censor of all
present fashions and arts, looking into
her glass, beheld sundry wrinkles,
freckles, etc. "Now, here is nv new
glass; said her ladyship, mot worth a
cent. They cannot make mirrors as we'll
as they used to do"
What is an editor? An editors bizness
is to write editorials, grind out poetry,
sort out manuscripts, keep mighty big
waste basket, steal matter, fife other peo-
pies battles, take white beans and apple
sass for pay when he can get it, work
nineteen hours out of twenty -four, and be
damned by everybody-BAzings.
Not long ago, as an elderly couple
were out walking, lady on the opposite
side of the street tripped and fell down.
! The old gentleman rushed across the
street, raised his hat, and offered to assist
her in any possible way. His wife fol-
lowed him across at slow pace, and
witnessing his devotion to the stranger,
she got mad and shook her fist at him.
Its all right-it's all right he
whispered. eyes, know it is" She hotly
exclaimed, "here an unknown woman
stubs her toe, and you pillow across the
street to eat her up with kindness. The
other day whan l fell down stairs YOU
stood and laughed and chuckled and
tickled your ribs. and wanted to know if
was practicing for circusl"
He vas a ':culled tramp" and ap-
preached Captain Jase Phillips as the
train hauled up at Pewee as you de
Capt'in OBJ de kears?' YES" replied
Jase. "Don't want fo' ter hire any deck
hands,duz yea" "Nol I'm not running a
steamboat" "Zack'ly! Mout I ride
straddle OBJ de cow-snatcher to de next
landin'2 Use busted, an long ways
| from home" Sect on! All aboard"
And the negro straddled the cow-snatch-
er. Ed Gilligan pulled out the throttle
wide open, and the train had not gone
more than half a mile, before the engine
has eollided with a COW, throwing it over
fence into corn-ield, and the negro
after the COW. Next day, coming down,
the negro limped up to Jase at the same
depot, and said: "Boss, I didn't ride
fur wild you on that cow snatcher. Kase
you see the cow wanted to ride dar too.
an dar wasn't room TO- boie Of us, so we
got off togedder up here in a co'n-feld
TO- to rest. Denext time rides wild YOU
III freeze to de tail-gate OBJ de wagon
| hits safer.n