The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-13
ike to know, has this to do with the

like to know, has this to do with the
matter in hand?
Everything" said the banker, with a
serious face: that lady, sir, Is my wife.
Those children are mine and hers; and
we are all mutually attaced."
"Pshawr' said the captain, what is
that to meg You should thought of this
before"
81 know that it is nothing to you, sir, -
said the banker, "as you have no wife or
children. / believe / am correct in say
ing that you have no wife or children.
Now then, l ask, do we meet on equal
termsy'
why, no, certainly not" said the
major; "but it is too late to think OF
this on the very ground; it is quite in
formal-this discussion; it is really,
quite, Quite" and hereupon the major
took huge pinch of snuff to fill up his
smile
II warned you TO settle all your at
fairs" broke in the captain, as If a sud
den bright thought had occurred to him
True" said the banker, pointing to
the distant family group, but | could
not settle them. I have settled every.
thing else" The bankers second now
ventnred to observe, that as the captains
second had admitted the parties about
to contend were not on equal terms, they
should be made equal, or as near as pos
sibly so, before the actual commence
ment of hOstilities; and he appealed to
them to do this as linen of honor and
gentlemen"
"Well, there is certainly show of reas-
on, and that sort of thing, in what you
say" observed the major. "But how, in
the name of goodness, is that to be eff
fectedy'
Nothing easier" exclaimed the gent
leman in black. Your friend the cap
tain has an Independent income of fif
teen hundred per annum, and no family
whereas the income of my fried-thOugE
he has some little property-mainly de
ponds upon his own eXertiOns; and he
has wife and three children. Now, il
the captain should shoot him, he ought
to make over five hundred to his family
and thus the parties would be upon
equal terms"
Putting affection out of the question,
added the banker.
The major at this looked blank and
puzzled; the captain all establishment.
1T would only be putting down your
handsome phaeton and pair" rejoined
the bankers second, calmly.
"Oh, sir! all! yes, indeed!" calculated
the captain, reddening up to the ears.
Il
irregular proceeding" said the major
there is no time for it now, as canno
consent to withdraw my principal from
the field without change of shots"
That is not at all necessary" said thu
banker. This gentleman is my attorn
ey." Whereat, on the instant, the little
man in black whipped from beneath hi!
coat deed on parchment, ready filled
up, and wanting nothing but the attach
ment of the signatures.
The captain and the major exchanged
looks of black rage. They saw that, il
common parlance, it was "a SELL" anC
| they began to storm.
"a most absurd proceeding !-mercen
airy propOsal" calculated the captain
Put down my phaeton, indeed? Why
sir, this is beyond joke"
at is, indeed, most serious matter
sirs," said the banker. do you think
sir, whether / would not be Justified il
considering it as something more thai
an absurd proceeding and a pretty
joke to be put down dead here, anC
leave my wife and children to penury?
know very well, sir, you are rare shot
and can snuff u candle with a pisto
bullet. That dexterity l can't pretend
to, so in any case l run the greatest risk
| Yet | am ready to pit my life agains
your phaeton and pair"
The major looked more perplexeC
than ever. The captain more foolisl
and puzzled.
| Again, gentlemen, if should be kill
ed, my wife and children will ABSOLUTELY
need the money; but if 1 kill the cap
tain, his property is absolutely of NJ
sort of use to him after his funeral eX
penses are paid. Nor is my propose
l
ions, men of refined honor and higl
courage have thought they could neve
do enough. When Best shot Lord Game
ford, his lordship, on his deathbed, lief
his antagonist, who was in very poo
circumstances, handsome income, rt
ljoicing, no doubt, that he had lived Ion
enough to do such an act of magnanimi
ty and finished honor. / never fired a
a man as mark in my life; 1 am sur
to be shot. So you see my proposal
only fair one; and as l make it to me-
of honor, expect it to be acceded to-"
ooh, but!-yes, but You, sir!" e1
claimed the captain. Really" intel
rupted the major biting his lips, II real
ly think, that as men of finished honor
we must accede to the proposal"
The banker now fatty refused to figh
on any other terms, putting it directl
to the major as the most refined point G
dueling honor that could be manifesto
on the occasion, till the two officers
though excessively provoked and annoy
ed, could no longer refuse their consent
The parchment was handed to them b.
the attorney, who saw it properly signed
and then the principals took their stan,
at fifteen PAGES distance. --e|
The banker had the first fire. Nc
wishing to be banished from his country
or get into prison, or be tried for MAJ
slaughter or murder, he took very goo
care to fire wide of his mark, and ava
flew his innocent ball, like hummin
bird, across the fields.
Then came the captains turn. Now,
whispered the major, ''aim low; kee
steady-nOw-you'v got him"
Got himr' stammered the captain
his face turning blue, and his jaws fal
ing. Got himi put down my pha-
pay five hundred year for being Gale
u bullet-headed fool, and so prove i
Will you pay the money if / hit him W
Away sped the bullet; but of cours
it did not hit the banker, though
whistled rather too close past the Law
yer's ear, who had forgotten to have
similar agreement for himself in case
accidents. F. @ >--.e IS So +
The antagonists then shook hand
The major withdrew the HonorabI
, Captain Eustace FitZ-Giles from IL
, | field, declaring that Ibis honor was sa
; isfied; !" and the banker went home
his wife and children.
But it is not always that those "mee
inoo Of hnpnr,, On ord