The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1878-03-26

Slap dash into the water,
And the snakes committed suicide
To save themselves from slaughter!
No wonder that the Irish boys
Are all 50 brave and frisky,
For sure ST, Patrick taught them that,
And the way Of making whisky.
No wonder that the saint himself
Was handy at distilling,
For his mother kept the shebeen house
In the town OF Enniskillen!
Success attend St. Pstrick's fist,
He was saint so clever,
He gave the snakes and toads twist
And banished them forever.
It is sad to see youthful aspirations
crushed. A boy never can conceive OF .
brilliant idea but he gets punished for i
Here is a case in point:
Two men and boy were walking along
John X. street recently, when one OF them
the father of the boy-said:
"How pleasant to my ears is this hum O.
Industry"
$50 il is to mime" replied the other, and
when the boy got chance he asked:
"Father did you mean that pounding
back the,e?'
Eyes, my son." was the answer.
That evening as the father Was seated il
his evening chair, he heard an awful pound
ing in the kitchen, and rushed in to see hi
son belaboring q chair with hammer.
"What on earth does this mean !" III
shrieked 1t the lad.
"The hum of industry, father" was thu
pleasant reply.
The boy was hummed out OF that so las,
that il was over On hour before he could
compose himself to softly inquire OF hi
inner CONSEQUENCES WAS father lyin e
that man, or is night bad time for thu
hum of industry ?'-Free Press.
Romeo and Juliet, according to Shaks
peare, were about rs spooney a couple a
were ever written up. We think all hand
and the cook ought to thank the Burling
ton man for this new rendition:
Romeo. See how she leans her cheek upoI
her hand,
o, that had that diamond on heI
hand,
That l might raise the fair ant
genie vino.
Juliet. All, goodness gracious me.
Romeo. She speaks:
O, 60 on with the chin music, fo
A. glorious to this night, being
Ger my head,
Asi a-e rum-er ah-as Isl
- ~ Hind Of
A kind of a-haw-sort Of bird
like.
juliet. Oh, Romeo, Romeo! What is thy
last name
IT'S but thy name that is my
enemy;
What's Montague. Oh, my, wha
horrid name!
Oh, goodness, gracious me. II
rather die
Than marry a man named Mon
tague.
Couldn't you get the Legislature L
change your last name,
And for that name, which is ~
part of thee.
Take all myself?
Romeo. I'll take thee at thy word:
Call me Robinson, and I'll take you
And all your goods, chattels, man
Ors, rents,
Revenue, real and personal prop
erty, insurance,
Expectations, bank accounts
bonds, coupons, stamps,
Even nickels.
Juliet. Oh Man in the garden! Go way
you naughty man. Who IN
you? How did you get in here
Romeo. Come up the alley, poisoned tb'
And climbed over the back fence
Behold the ashes on my boots
there is coffee grounds
And eggshells on nv Trousers. Il
Your big brother and father a
home?
Jxtiei. II they do see thee, trust me,
They will put an ear on thee.
Romeo. Not much. Mary Ann; say thou
the word,
And I will smear your father.
paste horn one;
One that he will remember, ape
ha, ha!
And weep when he remembers il
Look ut this biceps muscle. There
is . goose egg for you.
juliet q, gentle Romeo.
II you love me say 40, but DOM
step on my bunion.
Romeo Lady, by you blessed moon swear,
That tips with silver all these
fruit tree tos,-
julio. o, swear not BY the moon, the in
constant moon,
That monthly changes in her cir.
cled orb.
Lest that thy love prove Likewise
variable.
Rsm,o. Well then. by Jimminy Pelt. by
dad,
BY hockey, by the long armed spoon
BY jocks,
By thunder, Juliet oh, BY go.h,-
VIVA, shall swear by:
Jr,id. do not swear ut all
Or il thou wilt, swear By thy gra.
cioas self.
Romeo. Well, then. may I be did. dad,
dad dog goned,
Dad hinged to jude; oh. msy Be
Tee totally coz kicked over By .
bull rush.
, Dad slam the gaui dinged dad
Fisted thing to thunder;
(Goes OF after some new swean.)