The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1878-01-16
acknowledgement
, Nan Dreams OF What the After
CHM VIII BE.

ulaCe ~ Tue luIeTHal iesIOu' hnui Soh
!idrrinr how we'll they all agreed upon
mi. point, il was a marvel how long the
Ji.cG..ion maintained. But, as a matter
in which they felt they all had a vital in
tere.t. and Notwithstanding the apparent
b,llnes. with which they asserted their
b+Ii.f in their comfortable creed, a mis-
giving in their inmost hearts impelled
Them 10 back each other up in the way Of
cumulative testimony derived from their
inner consciousness or from scriptnral
quotations. But they were sure there
was no such place-aS absolutely sure as
men we'll can be OH any mooted point.
Except one man.
And be sat there through It all, nod
ding and smiling TO himself with the air
Of a man who is possessed Of some start
ling information, which he will presently
produce, and with ii, knock down all their
arguments and crush the party dumbly
to earth.
Ills time came, and he spoke.
"Thats all we'll enough, boys, and it's
been ~ good as Il sermon 10 hear you but
il won't do. know what Pm talking about
for I've been there" :,
Been there!" from every man, includ-
ing the bar keeper
"That ia, | dreamt ! was there
"Oh ~ amid a general feeling Of relief.
+" dreamt last night | was there. !
any / dreamt it, but it all seemed so real,
int as real as this here room, that il was
lust the same as II | had been there with
hi. identical body and seen it with these
identical eyes,
"And what sort Of a place was iLT
"Wn it hot"
"Was 1t brimsIony 2" -.
The oracle put up his hand 10 compel
silence, and said sOlemny:
You shall hear"
The bar.keeper interrupted here TO say
that under the circumstances he thought
he could stand drinks all round and, no
one objecting, he did.
If dreamed" resumed the oracle AZ he
drew the back Of his hand across his lips
at the conclusion Of the little ceremony,
"that | died, and, after q long journey,
reached the place that you have been talk
ing about. And when l got there you
may believe me when | say that was ns.
tonished to find ilwas IA unlike any de-
scription or idea | ever had Of the place
as il we'll could be. Why, gentlemen,
lust picture 10 yourselves the beAutilulest
and grandest saloon II is possible TO i'm
agine; with n bar in which, in the finest
crystal glass bottles were the rarest and
co.tliest old liquors that anybody ever
laid eyes ON; The ceiling was beautifully
lrescoeL, aud the floor was Of polished
marble: an immense chandelier lighted
up the place until you could see every
nook and corner; all through it were soft
cushioned lounges and chairs upholster'
ed in rich crimson velvet; there were no
doors or windows, but all around the
walls were bright.colored pictures, more
beautiful than can be imagined, and above
some OF them where fancy.worked mot
toes that read Welcome, and There's
no place like like there, you know, and
such; and TO set the whole thing of aud
make it pleasant, the man, or whatever
he was, who seemed TO boss the place, was
dressed all in red aud trimmed with gold
lace, and looked SO good.natnred that one
felt he would take it as a favor TO he
asked 10 put il on the slate Well in
stead OF cold looks and hard words, like
man sometimes gets here, he met me as
| went in, and clapped ME on tue shonl-
er, and said: Jersey, how are you? I've
been waiting for you a long time but l
wasn't worried about you. | knew you'd
get here" Without saying all thought,
| told him l was as we'll rs could be ex-
peCted under the circumstances, and ask
ed him how he found himself. He said
he was all right, aud then went on to say
that this would be my DON forever and
ever, and he wanted TO make it as agree.
able a. possible, and that | muat consider
myself at home. anil that whenever | felt
like taking any nourishment was to
help myself. Then he said that, having
welcomed me, he would leave me, as he
had business in another part Of his estab-
lishment. And he disappeared; just how
couldn't rightly understand; but he
WAS there, and then he wasn't there, and
that's the last / saw Of him.
well, when he had gone, | commenced
examining the place, and thinking. And !
thought, this beats anything | ever heard
Of. This is not like the place I've been
told about, and doubt very much wheth.
er it is the place; there must be q mis-.
take; this Is not hell. | thought | was
dry. So | looked around for u quencher,
aud walked around the bar, saw a glass,
and picked il up-at least | would have
picked itup, only just as | touched i'll got
such u shock, similar 10 an electric
battery, that | thought I'd never be able
10 move again. Ibid get over II, though,
in a few minutes, and thinking TO myself
they're pretty tricky down here, l grab.
nj another ne. And | was mighty sorry
for ii; for \ streak OF lightning couldn't
have served ME much worse. II was a
quarter Of an hour before | came TO my
senses, and then you better believe !
was mighty cautious about what ]
touched next. But l was getting
dryer and dryer, and that made
me more venturesome. So ] tried every
glass, and every bottle, and everything !
could lind, just touching them with the
ends Of my fingers. But they were all
alike; | couldn't take hold Of one oil
them. kept on getting dryer, and the
decSnters sparkled and twinkled in the
light like they were laughing at me-
Finally, when | was about TO give up in
despair, | found away back in one corner
a big decanter that would hold, | sup
pose, a gallon, labeled old Bourbon and
Tiled clear up 10 the stopper. | touched
IT, EurekaI | had found IL at lat-thG
only Thing in the whole place that could
handle. l took hold Of IL carefully by
the neck, carried II out so "a TO have
plenty Of room for u good sWig, threw
my head back, and had just raised the
bottle TO my lips, when tho eonfoundet
thing slipped from my hands and wa
dashedinto athouaand pieces on the floor
Gentlemen, | galed on that fragrant
wreck, typical Of my blasted hopes, and
AL turned away, h~eArtbtoken, | said Il
myself, this is hell.Ip