Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-09-15

darkness of hall and rooms, and opened
the kitchen door to be greeted with a
cheerful prospect. The yawping stove
hearth was graced with ashes, as was the
floor around the cat was placidly licking
out the fresh milk standing on the bench
while Patric, with huge scarlet bow in
her frizzled hair was balanced out of the
window flirting with the milkman. I
stood aghast for two whole minutes, and
wondered how had best move, in what
speech and manner I had best address
the strange queen of my culinary realm;
but failing to find any concluded not
to address her at all. but ratified the
door-knob ominously.
''Bless my sowl," she cried, with a
startled jump, "sure an thought it was
the mistress herself, an what do you
want, anyhow"
81 want the cat taken out Of the milk, 5"
I said, regaining my possession and
anger at her impertinence. "What are
you idling out Of that window for! Shut
it and build the fire immediately"
"Shure now,' she cried loudly, with
arms akimbo and face defiant, AN WHO'S
the likes Of yourself, to be bossing me?
if yes wants the fire built yes can build
'sPatric," said with great dignity, 81
want no such airs. I'm your master and
l want that fire built"
My master!" she cried shrilly. SIN
dade an we'll see. hired mesilf to a
swate purity leddy-an' it's not by the
likes Of yes I'll be bossed," and before
my wrathful gaze she founced out 0
sight and stood alone. As first move
I was fail fire, in celebration of which
I stamped across the kitchen, and threw
the cat out of the window, then sent the
milk flying after her. and saw the pan
smash against the pump and bend double,
without feeling. I tackled the stove
after that, but didn't understand all the
knobs and hampers and bay windows of
tin and iron, 50 the fire died away with
out struggle; then opened everything
that had a knob to it and tried it over
4 small blaze crept up and poked its
nose around contemptuously, then turned
a somersault and died, and four or five
sickly puffs Of smoke came and buried
it, after which ] slammed every door and
damper shut, poked III all the paper and
trash I could find, and had just lighted it
with rash haste when | discovered that l
had stuck in the morning paper which
Patrick had laid on the floor. Now, if
there was anything that upset me, it was
breakfast without my paper, so I groaned
in anguish Of spirit. and dived into the
pantry, without knowing what for, but
came out bearing a sugar bowl and a
fork, which l deposited on the table. My
fire was burning with sickly, can't-help-
myself air; it cheered me some, so that l
flew back and forth lively to set the table.
and was comparatively happy until a ter
rible odor began to fill the kitchen
threw open the doors and windows, but
it only increased. Then I stopped in my
operations and began to sniff around.
Finding the teakettle dry solved the mys-
terry, so hastily poured in some cold wa
ter, whereupon the bottom cracked, and
I only saved the life of my fire by jerking
off the thing and burning my hand to q
blister with the hot handle. 1t doesn't
matter particle what I said.
Toddie would have called it "a wicked
swear word," and Kitzie would have
boen shocked byit, but it doesn't matter.
threw it clear across the room, and it
made hole big enough to hold an egg
in the DOR casing. | was discouraged
after that; besides [ discovered, on sur
veying my table, that had put on three
different styles of milk pitchers, four but
dishes, enough plates for regiment, no
castor, and had forgotten to chang. the
fancy damask spread for the one we eat
on. There was only one thing that I was
certain of and that was coffee. We had
made that too often in camp to fail on it
now, so boiled some water in pan and
set it going, then hunted up the ham and
cut off fourteen slices, for I knew / was
hungry, doubtless Kltzie was, and besides
it might shrivel in cooking for all I knew
/ grew less confident when / found that
it took four skillits and two other irons
of some kind to cook. It begun to look
like good deal for two people to eat at
one meal, but still I let it all slzzle away
and went to find something else, for
when Kltzie didn't have variety took
occasion to grumble.
There were potatoes, eggs and pickles !;
yes, that would do; so l took eight Of the
first, ten Of the second, and six of the
third, and clambered upstairs with them
and wondered if I had enough, Kitzie
would laugh if hadn't. Six big pickles
in a cunningly fashioned leaf-shaped dish
looked promising, so 1 put them proudly
on the table and went back to chuck my
potatoes into the oven and my eggs into
some wafer; then the coffee boiled over,
and the ham began to smoke and smell.
I pulled them both off, first taking the
precaution 70 cover my hands, but as the
ham commenced to cool I remembered
that it WAS only cooked on one side, so
turned it over and put it back. After
that there was nothing left to do for a
little while, so sat down in the window
and wished hadn't burnt the morning
paper up; but [ had, and that was the end
Of it, so, to console myself, I went in to
look at the. table again, not that it was so
cheerful looking, because it wasn't; on
the contrary it was dismal, but then it
was finished and that was some consola-
ton. These chilly mornings Kitzie al
ways had bright fire sparkling in the
CRATE, and the fresh sunshine playing
across the table. None Of that was there