National Republican., 1878-09-05

Young fellow, that don't refer 70 his board
ing-house That's Ggurative. You understand
That means that ho Is a-bs Is IA liar and u
thief, which he Is"
The attache being unable to sec 1t In that
light, the visitor resignedly consented to have
the sentence stricken out.
I'VE advise our readers to hold their noses
when they go by him. Now II would DO
impudcnt for us to print that. We haven't
anything to do with our readers noses.
They manage their own noses. If
there is any right guaranteed to an Amcri-
can citizen it is the privilege of supervising
his own nose. II would be an unwarranted
intrusion into their personal affairs on our
part"
suppose you say, Persons who value their
noses would do we'll TO hold them concealed
In their hands when they pass Mr.. SrMKrSs,
as 1t is stated that he has appropriated the
noses Of several people, who carclcssly let
them lie around where he could got hold Of
them"
"Pshaw!" calculated the visitor. "That
amt what I mean. Don't you understand ?
Hold their noses like this-liko folks hold
their noses when they go by a guano ware
house."
| "Oh l sec. Then we had better mako II
read, We arc informed on good authority
that Mr. sINPKISs actually smells bad. ;"
No, no; Jerusalem no, " screamed the visit.
or, In desperation. lie don't smell bad.
Leastwse l never smelled him. You don't
catch my idea. That is figurative.
The attache suggested that IL would be
to use facts and not figures, and In that way
avoid ambiguity, and the author finally con.
scnted to have tho whole sentence stricken
out.
He Is wretched liar and ought to be sent
down by Judge WALTER Now you see you
have made mistake again. There Is no law
In this District against being wretched liar,
and 1t would look foolish for us to recommend
judge to send man down for that.
Send him down on general principles. -
suggested the visitor.
Then We haven't got our eye OH him. We
have TO use our eyes in our business"
That's fgurative,' remarked the listener.
The attache finished intcrlning the manu-
script, and read the paragraph as amended to
the visitor, as follows:
Mr. SiNPkISs OF this city, Il Is alleged obtains a
living from the world without returning a proper
n animal u seldom
met HIS last operation was 10 beat the widow
| MrRPHI, who keeps boarding. house on
Tenth street out Of two weeks board lie Is a
wretched liar, but as there Is no law against lying
Judge Walter ought to send him down on general
priuCiples and let his friends get him out hdbtds
eorpm. In iigurative sense we have our eye on
him.
Itdon't exactly suit,' remarked the visitor,
rubbing his chin, but If you will put 1t in, l
guess 1t will do"
The attache hummed again, and said, when
he came to think of 1t, he did not believe it
could bo published at all.
"Why not?r
"The fact Is IL this was printed Mr.. SIMP.
KINs Is very likely to come up here and want
to fight some one. These fellows always do
want to fight. Little paragraphs like that
make them mad. They are very unreasonable
They don't stop to think that editors don't
care to fight. guess we can't print It,"
Cant PRINT 1t! Do you mean to say that
you are going to sec the widow MURPHY
robbed, without raising your voice In indigna.
tion?'
Tho attache said that he was. And the
visitor. seizing his hat, stopped to remark.
This isn't Western journalism. No, STREE
Out my way papers are glad to get lively items
like that. You can just have my subscription
stopped
He then bolted from the office and left the
attache in a state Of such bewilderment that
he headed an item about the Chinese Embassy
"The Yellow Fever En- Route to the Capital"