Middletown transcript., 1878-06-01
Both of the great railroads of Kan

hocKy Mountain region tor health,
pleasure and recreation. Every spring
J these companies employ an accom-
: plished and ready liar to write up the
: country in a book and newspaper
form, for gratuitous distribution over
the East; and the accomplished liar
does his duty nobly He touches up
the beauties of the great plains, with
the boundless herds of fat, sleek cattle,
tended by gaily equipped and dashing
horsemen; he brings out the buffalo
to be hunted while the engine is tax
ing water; he pictures the tourist
walking into" juicy venison steak and
monster vegetables; he tells the con-
sumptives how they will have instant
relief soon as they strike the "invigo-
rating air of the plains and how,
when they reach Colorado, they will
sleep under two blankets, in August,
while their Eastern friends are swelt-
ering through the summers nights with
out the covering of a sheet. Then the
accomplished liar will wind up with a
rhapsody on the GLORIOUS weather."
'the lung-healing air. and the de-
lightful recreation Of jerking up trout
from every stream and shooting game
in every bramble. If the tourist or
invalid is tempted to make the trip, he
will find the beautiful plain,' des-
olate, trceless, sand-waste, covered in
places with gramma grass, sage bush
es and cactus; he will see the herds Of
cattle kicking up clouds of dust, tended
by villianous looking greasers dressed
in blue shirts and brown overalls, and
each one with couple Of pistols as
long as your arm, slung to his belt.
The buffalo will be absent when the
iron-horse stops to drink, but the tour
ist can get off the train and amuse
himself shooting at prairie-dogs; and
at the eating house the hungry travel
er will find, instead of juicy venison,
piece Of ancient sheep or Texan steer,
tougher than a lawyers conscience,
accompanied with vegetables that taste
as "wild'' as the country. Whenthe
patient tourist, who is all the while
looking for something better but find
ing something worse, strikes the Gin
vigorating air Of the plains he will
find it as hot as the breath Of fur
mace and ladened with clouds of dust.
When he reaches Colorado, he will |
sleep under a blanket at night, but
during the day he will, upon the least
exertion in the sun, find himself over
come with the heat and painting like
a tired dog. The trout he will never
find, but the obliging pioneer will al
ways tell him they can be found fifty
or sixty miles up the canyon, and that
they used to be plenty before the saw
mills were started. The only game he
will see, will be jack-rabbits bounding
from the sage bushes. The home Of
the pioneer will probably be hard BY,
and will be a mud hut with single
room, nail keg for a chimney, no
windows, and dilapidated blanket
for door, And this is not all. If
the tourist be an invalid and is suffer-
ing from that dread disease, consump-
ton, he will arrive at the end of this
long and tiresome journey dishearten-
ed, weak and painting for breath and
five to one if he is not boxed up and
shipped back East by express within
two weeks from the day of his arrival. Il
Tho undertaking business is always I
brisk in Denver. But | anticipate. It y
is not my intention to proceed vest
ward faster than the train moves, so I
will return to Topeka and take up the
thread Of my narrative anew. At
Topeka the A. I. & S. F. Railroad
leaves the Kaw and strikes off in a
south-westerly direction toward the
Arkansas valley; and, for consider
able distance, passes through a beauti-
ful, rolling country. IF it were not
for the frequent floods, tornadoes and
camp-meetings, this sec
ton of Kansas would be a desirable
place for the farmer.
As the train left Topeka, a ''pioneer" '
took the vacant seat beside the writer {
and opened broad-side of questions. {
When informed that Colorado was the {
destination, he boiled over with infor- t
nation about that State and said it f
was the "red-hottest place in the I
West. !" He was walking cyclopedia a
md opened his store-house Of knowl- S
edge without price; besides, he was il
going through to Pueblo himself, and Il
wanted to post me. L
"When you get out into Colorady,' t
le commenced, "the most deceiyin' Ii
hing you'll find will be the distances. n
gu see thing an think you're al IS
most on top of it, and the fust thing 81
,ou find out you couldn't walk to it in lt
day. Now thar's Pixies Peak, for 0.
Instance; yon can see it from Las An Il
mas, morn hrndred and fifty miles Il
way, an you wouldn't think it was p
IN hours ride. An Englishman were It
ut to Colorady Springs, last season,
Vhere he arrived at night, an when
e got up in the mornin' he thought gi
le,d llst walk over to the mountains M
etore breakfast to whet up his appe- p
lte a little; but the distance was pI
norm seven miles, and he didn't git
ack for dinner Wall, that English M
IAN was mad, and said he wouldn't WI
e fooled any more in this 'blarsted
ountry,' an the next day when he
'ent out a prospectin' round, he come to
a little irrigatin' ditch about two MT
'et wide; and then that thar Enlish- Co
ian sot down and pulled off his boots
n commenced to roll up his pants. res
was jist comm along thar then, my go
1T, an | seed him, an I said, what We
the thunder are you doin, pard p"
Coin to wade it, said he. do
"Why in the tarnation don't you
mp it?" said I.
"You can't fool me agin in this a I
arsted country" he said, distances me
e too deceivin'. It's river, an I'm thl
ling to wade it." Al