The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1878-08-31
mo. 43.
All Sorts.

The chap with a glass sigh-the
topper.
An appropriate town for saw-mills
-Ripon.
Call for North Pole-ice and arrest
this heat.
The style for warm evenings
stepping out.
Best thing to keep in hot weather
keep shady.
Do not mistake a peanut roaster.
for phonogaph.
Carpets bought by the yard are
worn out by the foot.
'Pve just dropped in." as the fly
said to the coffee.
The hungry man longs to cat and
the glutton eats too long.
A prime minister-The enc who
gives you a short sermon.
A caterpillar improves in morals
when lac turns over new leaf.
Doesn't the baker encourage idle
ness when he makes IA penny loafg
sWhy is a woodpecker ike tramp?
Answer-Because he bores for grub.
-Quilp says its stews-day or fry
day the week round at his boarding
house.
A Hindoo proverb says: "When in
the water don't quarrel with the ALI
gator"
Tt is never too late to mend but
the better was is to avoid getting on
tare.
The golden stare Looking at the
yellow, shining things through q
brokers' window.
An Oil Citizen, formely a sea cap
tain, shook of book agent by yell
ling. "Man over bored !"
The three degrees in medical
treatment-Positive, i'll; compare
tive, pill; superlative, bill.
When a tooth begins to feel as If
there was chicken scratching at ITS
root. it's time to pallet out.
Never shake a live crab by the
RIGHT hand, because it is not nearest
to his heart. Take his left hand.
George Francis Train is now liv-
ing on one piece of dried apple
day. We.are interested in his swell
fare.
When Adam was half through
naming his decendents, he got tired,
and said, .'Let's quit and call the
rest Smith,"
a brave man is one who is not
afraid to wear his old clothes until
he can afford to buy new. All edl-
tors are heroes.
Every plain girl has one eonsola-
ton. Though not pretty Young
lady. she will, if she lives long
enough, be a pretty old one.
It has been discovered that the
noise made by bees is a lament Es-
| pecially when they use a short
haired boy for photograph.
| A Jersey City man was recently
arrested for smacking his wife across
the nose with n red and yellow worst
ed motto bearing the words 'home,
sweet home
A floating paragraph says "the
newest pocket flask is covered with
crockodile skim Will some old
scientists have the kindness to in
form us what pocket flask is
Little Johnny ran into the house
the other day while the mercury
was hngging IS degrees, with per-
spiration streaming from every pore,
and shouted, "Mamma. mamma, fix
me I'm leaking all over
A new clerk in drug store was
discharged the other day because he
didn't know how to look wise, roll
| his ewes. and say ''75 cents" without
turning red in the face as he handed
out little powder that had cost the
concern about two cents and a iiac-
ton. Emotion and business don {
jingle.
| The capers Of team OF mules
hitched to harvesting machine
near st. Louis. recently, were the
means of saving the lives Of five men
who had taken shelter from thun-
der storm. under tree. The mules
began to kick and the men, going
to part them, escaped thuneer-
bolt that sliivered the tree.
Once upon an evening dismal.
gave her kiss paioxysmal. and
rallied her by her name baptismali
precious name loved IF yore. Alb.
she was darling creature. pert OF
speech and fair Ut feature; but.
. ! .-..,. ....,l.I,,ff t...teb lttf- TOR SHIT