The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1878-03-01
VARIETIES.

when does the blacksmith raise O roy
in the alphabet When he makes poke
and shove J.
"A Lowville boy took hot brick t.
bed with him to keep his feet warm
They saved the boy and the house, but til
bed was reduced to ashes.
-Photographer--"Now sir, if you will
look little less as though you had bill
to meet-a little more as though we'd beer
left legacy, you'll get picture"
An editor, speaking of spiritualisn
says: 1--WE don't believe in any medium
except the circulating medium and tina
has become so scarce that our faith in it il
shaky."
"A lazy fellow, falling distance O
nifty feet and escaping with only few
scratches, bystander remarked that he
was "too slow to fall fast enough to hurt
himself"
Prayer is the pitcher that fetches wa.
ter from the brock wherewith to water the
herbs; break the pitcher and it will fetch
no water, and for want of water the garden
will wither.
--"Why, DOCTOR" said a sick lady, "you
give me the same medicine as you are Civ
ing my husband how's that?" "All
right" replied the doctor; "what's sauce
ior the goose is sauce for the gander !"
-"How shall l sell my horse 2" said a
certain doctor to jockey, "his tail came
on In less than six hours after l bought
him." "Sell him by wholesale, for no hon
orable man will retail him." was the re-
ply.
Cordial but equivocal Mamma
Look, Cissy, here is the doctor coming
What favorite he is See, even the lit
tie chickens run to meet him." Cissy-
yes, ma; and the little ducks cry 'quack,
quack ="
THAT mule of yours is fine beast
What do you cali him ?" "Fact." "And
what do you call the other ?" "Fact."-
"What, do you call them both Fact How
IS that ~ ".Why, you see, Facts are such
stubborn things.n
1t was simply an informal affair"
wrote the editor, of a little strawberry par
~ at neighbours house. at was simply
an internal affair."" read the compositor,
and that editor will never get any more
invitations from that quarter.
Doctor, my daughter seems to be going
blind, and she's just getting ready for the
wedding, too Oh, dear, what is to lie
done? LET her go right on with the
wedding, madame, by all means. If any,
thing can open her eyes, marriage will"
"A youngster, while perusing a chapter
Of Genesis, turning to his father, inquired
if the people in those days used to do their
sums on the ground. 1t was discovered
hat he had been reading the passage, "Aud
The sons of men multiplied on the face of
he earth"
discerning child (who has heard some
by papa)-"Are you our new
lurse 7" Nurse-"Yes, dear" Child
Well, then, l am one of those bows who
IAN only be managed by kindness; so you
lad better get some sponge cake and or
lnges at once"
"A tramp walked into bank, and, STEP
Ding up to the counter, said: 'May I ask
'ou question, sir 2" "Yes, but be quick |
bout it," replied the cashier. ~ want to |
inow If all the greenbacks have been re.
ired from circulation" said the tramp.
With very anxious air. 80, no." was tile
eply, there are about three hundred and
ifty millions of them yet" "Thanks.
hanks" said the tramp. with visible
motion. "You take load off nv mind.
t is so long since l have seen one that I
vas afraid they had all been retired.