South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1878-02-22
WIT AND IIUMOR


did,. know that you great wise men Xix.
cd good things 50 much 7 Did you
suppose that Providence made all the
good things for foolish little men ?signi.
cantly asked the gigantic statesman.
CURED SY Doc LIVER O.E.-A Jolly
old German, while suffering from a'puI-
'nonary attack. sent for physician. In
short time the doctor called on him,
prescribed two bottles OF cod liver OIL,
received his fee Of So, and was told BY
the German, who disliked the size Of
his bill, that he need not come again
The German, who had not heard tie
doctors prescription very well, sappos
ell tina: he could gcSthe oil and treat
himself. The doctor saw no more OF
the patio mt for some time, but one day rid.
ing past the residence OF the German, he
was pleased To see him out in the gar
den digging Justify. The case seemed
such proof of the value of cod liver
oil that he stopped TO make more par.
ticular inquiries about it.
You seem TO he getting along ve'y
well, said he, addressing the German.
'Yaw. ish well,' responded the fer
mer sick man.
You took as much oil as told you?'
guered the doctor
oh, yah. have used as many rs four
gallons of dc dog liver oil?'
The what2 said the astoandod doc
tor.
De dog liver dat you say shall take
/ have killed NEST every fat little dog
could catch, and dc liver oil have cured
me. Its great medicine, dat dog liver
oilr
The doctor had nothing TO say, but
rode quickly away.
IVA Western editor on entering his
Office and seeing his apprentice boy cut.
ting some queer cnpers, called out to
him:
Jim wha. are you doing on the floor
Why, sir, have had shock
\ shock?'
Yes sir
What kind Of shock?
Why, sir said the lad, gasping, 'one
of your subscribers came in during your
absenGe-said Inc owed for two years
subscription--paid it and also paid a,
mother in Advance
I%'Oh, George I'm ashamed of you
rubbing your lips after that dear little
French girl has given you a kiss. y
I'm not rubbing it out mamma--l'm
rubbing il in?'
Dear exclaimed Mrs. Parting
ton at revival--'how huidly he talks
| always am rcjoced when lie mounts
the nostril, for his cloquencc warns me
in every cartridge of my body.
IG'A man noted for his Il se-fistCd
propensties, was showing and old coin
10 neiehbor, when the latter asked:
Where did you get III? 4 dug it ont
of my garden was the reply. 1t is a
pity that you didn't find it in the ceme-
terry said the neighbor. why so? TX
cd the coin owner. Because you could
have saved the hole so be buried in
~ John remarked Portland par
cnt to his son, There's ten dollars com.
ing to me to-day, and want you TO try
and collect it, 'Ye=, sir responded
John; and he asked, as he glided to-
ward the door, IL the money is coming
to You what's the use oil ne goirg after it.
IV''Taltc dat chalk out ON yo' eyes said
the driver Of milk wagon to gr,u
Of colorcd children on Cottage Hill on
Sunday evening. Don't you, don't
chiG'em,' came the voice Of a fat negro
woman who hal overheard the taunt from
her position on the tack porch De.
low-libcd son ola sca.cock wants to
put il in bis milk
e. Hay We got airy clock 10 SELL
something noicc, for present to mo
sisther" We have all kinds Of clocks,
replied the jewelcr; twenty four hour
clocks and cight-iay clocks, from 81
30 to $500 in price. Here's one that
will suit YOU; Fine French clock
worth So. Divil take yer French clock
Give VS. wan that nc sisthcr kin UNDER
stand whin it s,hr,kcs oil City Der
rick.
For Sale,