The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1878-10-19
The Human Shirt.
New York Paper. ]

1t is manifest that the human shirt
has passed through series of import
ant notifications. The shirt of the store
age did not open-in the sense that the
contemporaneous shirt opens either in
front or behind. 1t had simply large
hole for the reception of the head and
neck, and was devoid of either studs or
buttons. At later period the shirt de-
veloped an opening in front, and little
later studs wherewith to temporarily
close this opening. This type of shirt
was remarkably persistent, and, in fact,
became extinct at about the same time
as the great ark of Newfoundland, or
in other words as late as the beginning
of the present century. In the existing
shirt, which is one of the most widely
diffused of human garments, the front
opening is closed, and an opening in the
back has taken its place. Studs, which
are now useless, exist merely in rudi-
mentary form, and what was once the
horn button of the stud is now merely q
frail growth of spiral wire. What has
produced these successive developments
is one of the most interesting inquiries
which the Darwinian investigation can
undertake.
The first appearance of the shirt with
the opening in front was contemporary,
according to paleontologists, with the
first efforts of man to navigate the
water. In the stone age, boats of any
kind, from logs up to Cunard steamers,
were unknown, but, in course of time,
man began to paddle across rivers, say
from Albany TO New York, on the sim
pie log now in use among Australians
Naturally, he frequently got very wet
and hence it became an object to him to
remove his shirt with ease and rapidity
Hence the front opening was developed
substantially rs it appears in the shirts
of the period Immediately preceding the
stone age.
1t is agreed by all the anthropologists
that the iron age, or the age when flat
irons came into use as domestic weapons
succeeded the stone age. The shirt
bosom naturally followed the introduce
ton of fat-irons. 1t is obvious that no
woman of the period could have pos
sessed fat-iron without wishing to iron
something with it, and the shirt-bosom
was developed to supply the want.
About the same time studs appeared.
They were needed to keep the shirt
bosom closed, so that the owner could
shut himself inside of it with view to
privacy, and were the device of people
among whom needles and thread, and,
as consequence, buttons were un-
known. Thus we can trace by success
i've and well-defned steps the develop
ment of the rude uniformed shirt of the
stone age, which was usually made of
the coarse cloths manufactured of mail
bags and cotton bales, until the shirt
with an opening in front, and ironed
bosom, and three studs--in short, the
species classified by Western paleontolo-
gists, under the name billed shirt -
became the ruling type.
One of our most profound washerwo-
men, who has devoted life time to the
study of shirts, is of the opinion that
the opening at the back of the neck was
| first developed either in Scotland, at
about the period when the Duke of Ar
gyle erected his famous posts, or in
America soon after the early colonists
made the acquaintance of the mosquito.
This theory is ingenious and plausible,
but it is open to the objection that it is
not true. The modern species of shirts
is older than the Duke of Argyle's posts
or the early settlement of America.
Doubtless it was found to be peculiarly
adapted for Scottish and mosquito pur-
poses, and its rapid increase may very
possibly have been effected by counter
irritant considerations, but the latter
were not the cause of the great change
which we are now investigating. We
can, however, confidently assert that
this change took place in this country
soon after its settlement, and in En-
gland soon after the passage of the first
great Reform bill. That is to say, it
took place when demagogues began to
bid for the popular vote. Now, the
demagogue, with a nicely-ironed shirt
bosom could not with any plausibility
represent himself as plain working
man. In order TO do this it was neces-
sary that he should wear a shirt-bosom
devoid of starch and made of coarse ma
terials. Hence, it occurred to him that
were he to wear his shirt wrong side be-
fore, and cut slip in it to simulate an
unironed and unornamented bosom, he
would strengthen his popularity. There,
then, is the origin of the shirt with an
opening behind. With the growth of
popular intelligence its original purpose
has been forgotten, and no one now at
tempts to wear his shirt wrong side be-
fore. The slit by the ingenious dema-
gogue still remains, however, and two
Sits being unnecessary, nature has
closed the front opening and decorated
it with rudimentary studs.
These profound Investigations, involv
las they do prolonged process of sub
tie reasoning, are exhausting, but, in
the cause of science, it is our duty t6
sacrifice everything in pursui. of truth