The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1878-07-11
All Sorts of Paragraphs.

- The hen becomes a rooster when the
sun gees down.
Never stop to argue the point with
an excited hornet.
- A.n unpleasant sort of arithmetic.
Division among families.
Man glories in his strength woman
in her hair; and boarding house but
ter sometimes glories in both.
Scientific agriculturists speak of the
fruit belt of the South. It is where
green apples strike the small boy.
Troy, New York, wants ladies'
swimming club. The little ducks Who
could grudge them little dive-ersion?
- "The parting gives me pair" sighed
the man who was combing his hair for
the fnt time after two weeks spree.
- The Hawkeye tells of tramp who
asked for q loaf of bread, plate Of pota-
toes, and a round of beef, to fill long
felt want.
= An old Irishman watching game
of basis ball, was sent to grass by foul
which struck him under the fifth rib.
"a fowl, wuz it? Begorra, I thought it
was mule"
Presence of mind is great thing.
A Floyd avenue man, whose wife was at
tackled by cross dog, promptly crawled
under the steps of cooper's shop, and
did not get hurt at all.
"A Buffalo man dreamed that he was
going over the falls, and he had his wife
BY the throat when he woke up. Next
night she had dream, and broke his
nose q, she struck at an Indian.
-"Do those bells sound an alarm of
fre2" said stranger the other Sunday,
as the church bells were calling togeth-
er the worshippers. eyes, twas the reply,
''but the fire is in the next world.
= Ii. doesn't do any good to 60 to q
picnic and stand on the river bank and
admire the gorgeous sunset; and talk
about tender beauties of Nature to a man
who has just sat down on custard pie.
An exchange very appropriately
says, that "the maa who borrows news
paper instead of subscribing for one, is
The man who will try to crawl over the
wall Of Heaven instead of passing
through st. Peters gate"
The latest yarn about fast time is to
the effect that on certain road young
man puts his head out of the car win
dow to kiss his girl good-by, when the
train pulled out 40 rapidly that he kissed
an old African female at the next sta
l'tion.,-;c ..I 'a9t'. -. ,i.sa,l - E
l.. Olive Logan interviewed Grant in
Paris The other day, and quotes him as
making this reply. to her suggestion about
Thrill term: eff there were no other
obstacle in the way, there Is this very
great one-I am thoroughly tired of pub.
Iic lifesn 2 .;'fi.'" .L.'''i'' '-'iat. ''7' q. .
What glorious world this would
be; if ELL its inhabitants could say, with
Shakespeare's shepherd . "Sir, I am true
laborer: earn. what 1 wear; owe no
man. hate ;ienvy no, mans happiness
glad of ermen's good, and content with
my, farm, ,.., ,;.z,.t
IA big Yankee from Maine, on pay
ing his bill in London restaurant was
told that the sum put down didn't
Include the waiter. "Wal," he roared,
II didrlt eat any waiter, did I 2" He
looked as though he could, and there was
no further discussion.
-. GIten dimes make one dollar" said
the schoolmaster. "Now 60 on, sir.
Ten dollars make one-what?" "Tbey
make one mighty glad these times" re-
piled The boy, and the teacher, who
| hadn't got his last months salary yet,
| concluded the boy was about right.
Ups in the loft the old man kept q
keg of i.he very best. The carpenter who
\ had been working on the first floor was
found in the loft, and he tried to fool the
old gent by saying that lie had "just come
up to measure q rafter." The old man
simply 3inked and said, 'fI think you're
after my measure"
tM-eT All experienced lady observed that
I d goody way to pick out husband is to
see 1hoa' patiently he waits for dinner
when it is behind time. The husband
renarkn that good way to- pick out o
wife is to see whether the woman has
dinner ready, at the proper time: Ladies
! will please. observe.
"A few friends will go and bury US
| affection will rear q stone and plant o
few flowers over our earthly grave; in
a brief period the little hillock will be
smoothed down and the stones will fall
] and neither friend nor strangers will be
! concerned TO ask which one of forgotten
millions of the earth have vanished away
| All the little memorials of our remem.
| berance.-the lock of hair encased in
gold, OF the portrait that hung in our
| dwelling, will cease to have the slightest
value to any living being.
i