Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1878-03-27
TERMS:
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.
Still waters don't run at all.
A drv Doc--A thirsty physician.

Still waters don't run at all.
A drv Doc-A thirsty physician.
Irredeemabe bonds s-V.ga-bonds.
To sleep 10 your clothes spoils the
nap.
Every town in the country wants
Mint.
One nrmed men always shake with
the left hand.
Hnw.to make Maltese cross
Tread on her tail.
A word I the wise is suffi :ient-
but nobody is wise.
An cd hen d nj prophcsy an egg
till / has happened.
Caotain Hunt 5rubbc is hunting
grub in the English navy.
"Will the coming man drink
-winel" Will the coming duck swiml
The material most used in Texas for
a life-sized bust is quart of whisky.
Some people are like eggs, too full
of themselves to hold anything else.
If were in the sun and y II were
out of it, what would the sun becomel
Sin.
Every absurdi'y has a champion to
defend it, tor error is always talka-
tive.
1t is said our ancestors, the mon
keys, were all educated in the higher
branches.
If money could be borrowed as
easily us trouble, what happy word
this would he.
A London solicitor served writ
on nm actress, tiinging it on the stage
in - bouquet.
General Cushing looks younger
than ten years ago. Years rest light
iy on n Gushing.
An exrited man said "That fellow
ought to be kicked by a mule, and
iii like t0 do it,"
Fond mother-"What would you
do without n mother Tomi' Tom
ADO rs liked, ma"
Are your words of more weight
when you pro-pound anything than
when you announce iR
A Yankee editor in financial arii-
Gle saws: "Money is close, but not
close enough to reach"
Lady-"Sonny, IS there to be u
mum social here to.night2' Boy
"No, num- She passed.
The poets have nothing to fear
from Chinese cheap labor. John
never tackels poetry making.
The people Of this country are 50
confnu ied particular, that they
growl when u Congressman gets
drunk.
The war party in England have
cudgeled Bradlauoh, smashed Glad
stones windows, aud made faces at
Russia.
Ninety years ago there were but
twenty five post-ofiices in this coun-
try, and now everybody wants to be
postmaster.
A doctor is about to run telephones
from his office 10 the residences ot
his patients. Death is being made
earsier every year.
The sun has some very odd ha',its,
tor when it goes earliest IN bed IL gets
up latest, and when it goes latest to
bed II gets up earliest.
A Chicag athlete stands six feet,
weighs 1876 pounds, aud has mus les
of iron, but he isn't able to lift the
mortgage off his house.
They have an oleomnrgarine manu-.
factory in Cincinnati, and the people
are crying for the butter of the dad
,dies-the golden butter.
A German polar expedition will
start two weeks ahead Of Benefits,
lbut Bennett declares that no north
pole which it may discover will be
genuine.
An Indiana court has recently de-
scided that there is no limit to the
number of persons whom a girl may
sue simultaneously for breach of
promise.
A Minnesota girl recently boiled
the clippings from her t,e- e-nails in
some coffee, which she gave young
man to drink in the hope of winning
his affections.
"J"sn," said master to his Oldest
apprentice, "you must occupy my
place while | ann absent" "Thank
you, SIR" replied j ohm, "but Id rath-
rer sleep with the boys"