The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1878-10-27
THE ADMIRfL's RETEyGE.
A Remarkable Narrative or High Life In the
Twcnty-srcond Ward.


THE ADMIR- RETEyGE.
A Remarkable Narrative OF High Life In the
Twcnty-srcond Ward.
Admiral Ioratio Flvmp a venerable old
sea serpent who retired somc fourteen years
ago from active service. is now tho bright par
tcuar beacon light of a West seventy seventh
strrct boarding house, within whose hospitabc
walls he is regarded ma an authority on all sub
iocts. from hash 10 horse marines. devoted
reader OF newspapers. tho Admiral ahsorhs
much valuable information: and inter dinner
lie is sight TO sec ms h. stands. lik" an aniablc
Colossus before the parlor fire. AMI Iiscoursrs
with goOd-humored dignity on the topics If the
dav.
Having undergone much at,rition with this
somewhat aggrayn,ng world, tho Admiral has
discovered that courtesy and forbcarancc are
cardinal virtues. the exercise of which tends
largely 10 smooth the rough places in life,
though while hc is scrupulonsly careful Of the
rights Of others he is not over punctllious re-
rnr'iing his own. Tor he knows that many the
frivolous youngsters he meets on the great
highway may b. sound enough at heart and
lacking only in tho experience which develops
such lofty philosophy rs his own.
But. after all. the Admiral. like most everybody
else. has one little weak point and his j. his
newspaper. He has made n special contract
with u conscientious ncwsdralrr in the neigh
borhood that his paper shall be- delivered on
his plate neatly aud evenly folded. and with
only one crcnso to the page, and that crosswisc
~ tho columns. SO that when he sits down ut the
breakfast table. he sees fair and smooth before
him the whole upper half II tho first page OF
his favorItr paper. tho Brgle. and taxes in NJ
ono Comprehensive glanc" tho story that tho
h.aaA ltf..g toll a. 4 a. Al
fore from New York clear around to Afghan
istan.
At the same table sits another gentleman.
equally estmahc. end. like the Admiral. re-
spected by all who know him. But he too has
his weaS point which crops ont in the borrow
Ing NJ newspapers. He COOS down 10 brrakfist
earlier than the Admiral docs. and before road
ing his own paper. tho CLloaure ho likes to
glance over the somewhat livclicr pages II tho
Bugle. The Admirnls copy is within reach
and. not being burdcnrd with the salt water
hero's over nicely rs 10 folding and -moothnr-.
Mr. Arklcr handles II as he does his own and
looking us though an excited elephant hat
wa'zed on It. The Admiral kept his temper
until ono morning. coming down before his
usual hour. he fOund Mr.. ArSier reading his
paper That gentleman courtrously and
promptly handed 1t over placing 1t before the
Admiral sadly rumplml. and. wurs" than nll.
turned Inside out This Was too muru. The
ola sea horse said nothing bur all the higc
water In his System surg"l To hi, brain. and he
resolved on n desperate deadly rrVongc.
. The next morning Nj. ArSler. not dreaming
would mover intentionally DO. picked W the
nncieni marincr paper and hrgau 10 rend llc
had scarcely looked across th' top of th' page
when NJ teeth were set. his eyes bld2"d iik" nee-
irlc llghtS. ana sarh hair on nus head stood M
ike n telegraph pole. II" had mover s"en 80
much surprising news IN one sheet. Ono head
ing read;
ur,iALr cAr..rrors rut rraRynoar ruD~ix FLOWS Or
"'rN so nr> , M. I",I nv '''r eiy.H r'cS
S S. ~. ~ r y" i ra',s,,, i p lS
,yp HrNpiuD NINA
Another heading was:
ersriSH nToru ~ I'M rratic vEyicr ~ nv rro.
mn SKY . Ar. 'r,L ,,,g S',s ,A,'Tr' 70
rrcn So,rr :. avn. nv voEat ~ or no.
rrr. IS eiss1 TO >AtrosiL rrosrlerrr
And in the very next column:
ooSIlSr,n ..rF1r o, nv rnrirn allroAp. orr,r
.,o,sn ,., o, ' 49,. ~ ,s.iNs- - nnti,i
p,,riNe nt'r an coln ilisyl ni'coyssr Or.
rI"rFrs rNttE "rn'r Ms. An
lrLirp MA 'AaLlssuss ~ rgts-
~ NV ' ~ S.as ry INK NV
wArrHrL airgri
And many other astounding storios Tint
cnuscd Mr.. Arklcr to make IN his MIND lint
tho first thing he should do when h. got
qfaw S 'H %Sd THI Win tb to sn2r9r +" 'Ge
talked nbou, II with everybody hr mot. AMI was
not Mt all SURPRISED g. find eyoryhoiy rs much
sons to whom he told 1t acted. hrihouglt rather
due"rly, ami one man, after listening turned
and then both looked at Mr. ArkIcr ns iihoash
hcy thought there was something WRONG with
As tho lay wore on he discussed with many
persons the marvellons n"ws in the Bugicmutll
along in tho afternoon II WIS generally hc-
Ilcyrd IN ne hnslncsa region around Mr. Ark
Ter stor" that Arklcr hnd gone crazy aud tho
p"rsispnry with which that gentleman re-
turn"dio tho n"ws At last lei n friend To- hurry
M town and lay the fnrts before tho drludrd
attended hundreds II casns where no grratrr
to sworn b"tor" Justice that Arklrr WAS in
sane. and warrant was issued 'nr his cnhlnlit-
mont To the unnlic nsvlum. Tint evening Ms
Arklrr walked NJ broadway. wondering whut
he would ird In tao I1'0ir nest morning. he
wAs scizod by two rough men. who. despite his
protcetntlnns forced him into an am 80 AMI
hurried him on to n madhuusc. thereby wind
INK w in the most tremendously cNtrRnr,linnr;
mnnnrr the most remarkable day Of Mr.. Ark
On the following morning the Admiral found
| his paper fair ana smooth. Arkler was miss
! house There was great rN'ltomrnl. ~ usual,
! inc Admiral WHs appealed L., Grmlomon.'
| \" said, ne j." stood i"lorr III" pnrlur fire.
calm Yourselves. Let NJ TRUST that our friend :
mind IL only temporarily astray, What Is the
nature n his mnnA"
Tho mrss"ngerlold howhc talked mecssantly
| OF things which could not possibly have hap
| pened in thi, active and progressive country.
| Then the Admiral told Of his newspaper cNpc-
| rlrnr". and how he had pad three months ~
his retired pay 10 the rob printer vino Ind pre-
| parod the -nltnd copy uf The HpJ'' wuiri Aral"r
| had rrad and he wound ny hy expressing tun
b"llul that II tru" copy 1T IN" HuJip's is-uu OF
| TINT day were shown Ia the drmrntrd man he
| would lnntnntly come around all fight.
| Tho Admiral's diagnosis aud DEMONSTRATION
| proved correct and Mr.. Arklcr wns speedily re-
stored to Tho boarding house, amid great re-
| loicing. His own copy ot the Btgie began COM
Ing next morning. and Will" he never found in
| nnny news quito 40 marvellous rs that which
! surIrlerd him on the cN"nttul morning vet he
/ dli md 50 much that was brlgl. and Vigorous.
and enlightening that he never regretted his
curious adventure, and never laid it up against
| the Twenty second Ward