The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-10-29
SUNBEAMS,
Evening preyers-Burglars.

Out of plsce-Phe discharged convfcA
A scoldins wife will make Q shrew'd
man.
Mr.. Pike il Fish Commissioner at Con.
necticut.
One of the best spokes Of the Hub.
Lopgfelloe.
How to acquire shorthand Fool around
buzz saw. .--GrapAic.
What the milkman never treats you to
A nice cream.
Cents of duty-Those paid at the Gus.
tom House.
Men of letters Corresponding Secrs-
taries and sign painters.
A fellow who cannot write describes him.
self as pen-shunner.
What man must have his glass before
lie can do a days work? A glazier.
Money doesn't make the man, but
twenty shillings make the sovereign.
The Greeks kept no cats, and wore no
boots, hence they had no use for boot
jacks.
Thermometers show man how hot he
is, and cobbler straws tell which way the
wind blows.
When married men complain of being in
hot water at home, it turns out half the
time that it's scold.
A new novel is called, "My Hearts in
the Highlands. That is better than hav-
ing your liver in the hands of q doctor.
A Scotch wit says there is no reasou why
the phonograph should not be spoken of
as ''she." 1t repeats everything.
When you cut out the hotel puff from
the letter of a watering place correspond.
ent, you take that on which the author
lives.
The Smith family has again been heard
from. Betsey Smith, of Kennebunk
Me-, has read her Bible through forty-one
| times
'May doctor consult his wife2" in
quires the Albany Times. He had better,
we think, if he wants to avoid trouble in
the family.-BlfAo Eapress.
An exchange speaks Of a man who
was drowned while attempting to cross q
creek in state of intoxication. 1t is sup
posed the river got too high.
Bees neither hum nor buzz. 1t has been
discovered that the noise made by them IS
a lament. They feel sorry that tney can't
| sting dozen boys at once.
They say you can read mans character
by feeling of his ears, but in trying it on
you are more apt to have him read your
character by feeling of you with his
| boots.
A married man in Newburg has in
vented an India rubber rolingpin that
will roll out the dough very evenly
and yet bend to the head when it
strikes.
The Boston Post asks, ''Did you ever see
a claret punch!" No; but any old sport
can tell you thnt a punch will make the
'claret" flow if properly applied.-N. Z.
Herald.
A Yankee who had won a fat turkey at q
rattle, and whose pious wife was very in
ouisitiye about his method of obtaining
the poultry satisfied her scruples at las
by the remark that ''tAe Shakers gave it tt
him."
A man may think he is serving the Lore
; to rent a hundred dollar church-pew anC
then oblige the deacons to watch his Office
doer for month to collect the bill
!, but he isnt-he doesn't even commences
e TO.
1t is a singular coincidence that whea
ever there is Il pigeon shot or horse tro
in the vicinity the notices on the door
: indicate that all the lawyers are out o
town trying cases, Or else in the superlo
, court library.-New Huven Register.
' Mr.. Hfllgilder went home the other nigh
considerably intoxicated and afflicted wit
/ double vision. He sat for some time wit
h his sleepy gnze riveted on Mrs. Hillgldel
n and then quietly remarked: "Well (hic,
y / hope t'holler if you two gals don't loo
n enough like to be (hic) twins"
y 1t takes drug clerk of broad judgmer
s. and liberal views, and a calm, statesman
r, like control of his feature to know how t
n give citizen the right kind of syrup i
n his soda water when the citizens wife say
If she will take the same as her husband
It Burlington H4wkeye.
). A Frenehman has invented field piec
II which will fire seven times second and
If SO simple that child cannonderstand how
is itzerranged. Yet such a death-deuling ar
n illy-repays the inventor, however much b
;, ;, gets for it. We should be sorry to se
y Dame Columbiad-it to her weapons
It Graphic.
u A neighber wants to know, "What coul
= be smaller than the lining of a thist
seed ?" Well, we suppose if you real
wanted to drew things to u still finer focu