Connecticut western news., 1878-07-04

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 of head and pluck so commended him te
 his comrades that on the first vacancy
 he was elected captain of the Cross-roadi company. Hitherto our hero had glorie6
 in the gead his principal talk had beer
 of bullocks, and his mind concentrated on making clean furrows. His native
 modesty (the inseparable companion ot merit) might have induced him to shirh the dazzling responsibilities of the posi-. tion, but Jake was in love.
 Melindy was pretty and smart, and a reputed heiress. Consequently our hero had plenty of rivals.
 Jake Swingletree was leaning against a favorite OK, with his arm thrown afectionately across it's broad back. The OK was ruminating. So was Jake, but upon very different subject. "The school of the soldier is also the school of the gentleman. "Yes," he exclaimed, skipping it's shining flank with an energy that made the beast vince" -"yes, I'll be captain if hev to sell brindle to git the fxin's l" | -.
 In due time he had the Guvner's com mission in his pocket, and provided the needful fxin's with iudicious regard both for show and economy. When, at home, he first donned his new regi- mentals, and belted his sword on the wrong side, he began to realize the awkwardness of his position. But nanny and his sisters declared he looked like colonel, and that put him In heart again. So he commenced re- hearsal, uttering words of command and strutting up and down the porch with drawn sword in hand. The household stood admiring and delighted "Now watch me do this," said the captain: "'Tention, company Advance three paces backward march," At the third step the captain suddenly disappeared, the last seen of him being the heels of his boots. The spectators held their breath in amazement. A heavy splash and vocal explosives of a decidedly military character were heard issuing from the open door of the cellar.
 "Good gracious !" screamed the old lady, looking down, "he's fell plump into the sour-tub !"
 Jake marched up the steps looking white all over and thoroughly soured.
 "Why, sonny" inquired she, anxiously, "are ye hurt?"
 "Go in and mind yer business" re- piled the captain. What do women know about war?' a..... ....
 This rather mortifying backset did not cool our neophyte's martial ardor nor check his career of glory. On the ap- pointed day the company was assembled at the Crossroads for instruction and discipline under its new captain. Nothing can equal the agony of green horn in soldiers clothes at his first attempt to drill his company in public, Tn face of all the brazen loafers, giggling girls, critical exempts, and gufawing negroes usually attendant on village parade. e. .f p... il
 The bravery of his cheerful swagger and new regimentals could hardly con- ceal the tremor of our hero's soul. Had it been physically possible, he would at that hour have esteemed it 8 mercy to have been allowed to creep into rat hole. But all the world was waiting, and there was Melindy standing on the store porch laughing and commenting with that impudent counter-hopper.
 Love stimulates courage, and despair sometimes suggests resources. Our hero had marked among the spectators an individual past military age whose critical eye and r1bald tongue he of all others most dreaded. Captain Jack was the martial celebrity of the locality. He was one of the few who could boast of having smelled gunpowder in actual service, and of having "looked in dangers Gorgon face" in the form of a column of British grenadiers.
 The grim veteran received Captain Swingletree's awkward accost with con- temptous and discouraging glance But the words our hero whispered in his ear acted as promptly as did the "open, sesame" of Ali Baba on the stony por- tals of the robbers cave.
 He was commissioned to act as adiu- tant, aid-de-camp, and prompter-in-chief to the commanding officer, and gave his orders in a stentorian voice, '' Fall in, men-fall Ill Come out of that blasted wLiskey shop Music '"
 The drum beat, the fife squeaked, the men with tumultuous hilarity took their places in line, while Captain Jack, by dint of swearing, hourishing his weapon, collaring and hauling them here and there, at length got the company formed; then with salute he delivered it to the captain ill command, and, taking his place by his side, continued to indicate by mods, winks and stage whispers the proper orders to follow:
 Attention Shoulder arms; present arms shoulder arms order arms. Now we'll call the roll," said Captain Jack, authoritatively.
 But Captain Swingletree was getting both red and restive under the undis- guised prominence assumed by his sub- altern, and was anxious to get his com mand beyond the reach of certain eyes, which he felt were critically observing the present performances. So he sud- denly started on his own hook. s'Right face Forward-march P Rub-a-dub- dub, and rub-a-dub-dub. Away they marched like flock of geese.
 Halt stop! you cussed fools P shouted the veteran, in frenzy. "How can men march with ordered arms ?'' M Canfain S rAtorted tri,,nonLo.41-