The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1878-03-21
WITT AND HuM0R+

When a man wants to call puppy
he whistles, but girl just walks along
with her handkerchief floating across
her shoulder.
Indiana has dug up musket sup
posed to have been lost sixty-five years
ago. The owner can have it by paying
for this notice.
Mrs. Moore came naturally enough
by her poetical genius. She is u de-
husbands side.
Many poor families keep a goat. If
they are denied the luxury of bread
they always have their butter.
An old proverb says that 1.-THE anvil
lasts longer than the hammer" This
is probably the only consolation the
under most man in the fight has.
Miss Coleman is the wealthiest lady
in Washington. She is not engaged,
but ever engaging. Fare from Detroit
to Washington, ST..
Archie-''See, old man, how I'm
hunted after; all those are invitations.
Friend-''GOad gracious all Invita-
tions F.! Invitations to what!" Archie
ITO call and settle their accounts"
Now Massachusetts, would do it.
Envying Connecticut of it's nutmegs,
the Bay state proposes, to grow the
umbrella pine--a tree that will leave
early without doubt.
The Deadwood paper admits that
'there are 1000 men in one mine
making 500 a day Very likely But
that isn't enough-it is only cents a
day.
'Tis but a fleeting show" remarked
the marine reporter to the sultan as
they gazed down the Bosphorus from
one Ofthc saloons at the ferry landing,
in Constantinople.
Barnum raised roar Of laughter in
the Connecticut legislative caucus by
saying of his candidate for assistant
clerk that she fought through the war
and was ready to make affidavit that
he killed as many Of the rebels as they
did of him.
Now doth the foolish man devOur
the cold mince pie before going to
bed, and before another sun appears
is surprised to see green turkeys,
clothed in yellow blouses, hitched to
red omnibus.
81 was not aware that you knew
him. said Tom Smith to an Irish
friend, the other day. '.Know him,
said he, in tone which comprehended
| the knowledge Of more than one life.
81 knew him when his father was a
boy
YOU'RE getting great deal of
silver, aren't you!' he said, as he
paid his fifteen cents at the lunch
counter and took half the toothpicks
| in the tumbler. Eyes. hut we re get
ting short of TIMBER replied the
clerk.
A man who had been out nearly all
night told his wife on reaching home
that he had made the important dis
covery that the earth had two moons
as well as Mars. Just before he got
into bed he tried to blow out two
flames Of gas at the same time, and in
consequence his wife places no con-
fidence in his discovery.
A Dilemma: While country par
son was preaching, the chief Of his
parishioners, sitting near, the pulpit,
was fast asleep; wherenpon he said:
"Now, beloved friends. I am in a
great strait; for if / speak, too softly
those at the further end Of the church
cannot hear me, and If talk too loud
! shall wake the chief man in the
parish
4 Vicksburg negro fell from the
deck of 4 steamboat the other day
was sucked under coalbarge, came
up in time to catch his breath before
he slid under raft mile long, and
finally scrambled ashore down at
Warrentown. about seven miles below
with the remark. mo use tryin.' ye
KANT drown a deep water BAPTIST ~