Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-06-19

Pin thou thy faith upon the calico
dress Of the girl who can play "Home,
Sweet Home"
Gone but not forgotten-the hired
girl who put insect powders in the salad
instead of mustard.
Ants are not regarded as being very
ferocious; yet tenants killed the Earl of
Leitrim.
England will depend upon her Sea-
boys and Sepoys. Do you see, boys
Louisville Couraer-Joownal.
Miss Kellogg says that men are fit
only to be squeezed. Ouch Stop That
is, ouch IN. Y. Herald.
If there is anything in this world that
Will make mule laugh his tail off it is
to see man with glass eye trying to
wink it at pretty girl.
While Mr.. Edison is in the inventing
mood, why doesn't he invent a carpet
that will get up and dust Y'-LouismAe
Courier Journal
The wife of a funny man, by acting as
critic, can spoil more good paragraphs
than could a dozen college bred COM
There is something inexpressibly sad
about the music of an organ-while the
collection is being taken up.-Hacken-
sack Republican,.
When the sheriff seizes the contents
ola sample room to liquidate a debt,
can he not be said to have the proprietor
by the hornes ?-Puck.
According to the Scientific american
IN the state Of Connecticut one person in
every S55 Is an inventor. The other
854 wonder if the darned thing will
ork,-Danbauy Neus
Jennie June says that fashionable
bonnnt can be had for a dollar and
half. And SO it can. It is the from
six to twenty dollars worth oftrimming
that strikes the pocket-book in sore
spot.
Hayes is tougher than the old darkey
who was struck by lightning, and who
merely shook himself and said: "Dat
makes three times Ise been hit. and
now [ shouldn't wonder if it huff me
alone"
Giles asserts that the laws are very
unjust. A man can poach an egg and
there is nothing uone about it; but let
him try to poach a chicken-well, Just
let him try-that is all
They were blue-fshing off the coast
of Fire Island, when the fair one of the
party pointed off at a distance and ask
ed: George, what kind of a vessel is
that?" He leaned over, stole a kiss
from her lips and answered calmly,
" that's a fishing smack"
A little boy was passing along the
street with feeble step and face full
Of misery. The good lady stopped,
and kindly inquired what allied him
Don't you eat any cherries" said he.
+ Cincinnati Breakfast Table.
"Beggars can't be choosers," says an
old adage. We take notice that beg
gar got into the hallway the other day,
and chose from the hat-rack forthwith
three hats, one umbrella, and our
best sealskln overcoat. This knocks
the saWdust out of that adage .-Scottish
american.
Sweet melody floats from the rills,
The anemone blows on the hills,
And this is the time
For romance and rhyme
And Sunday-school picnics and pills.
-Wild oats.
On the steps it's nice to listen
While he tells the story old,
Then the loved ones eyes will gIisten,
And she'll catch her death Of cold.
-Ke0kuk Constitution
When Eve brought woe to all mankind,
Old Adam called Ter woman:
But when she Wooed with love SO kind.
He then pronounced it woman.
But now. with folly and with pride,
Their husbands pockets trimming
no lodi ful ofyy
The people call them Whimmen.
We are glad to learn, even at this late
day, that Thomas Jefferson would turn
aside rather than step on humble bee.
He was barefooted when he felt that
way, of course.
Mrs. Brooks, the clutter woman" is
now modelling full length figure of
| Dickens "Marchioness." In case of a
warm spell the Marchioness might "run,
| down" at the heel.
"Brave men, wise men, true men,
shouts the Newark Journal ''to the
front~ Thank you, thank you kindly
Now if the usher will please show US
right up to the orchestra chair.-Bau-
Hngton Haaokeye.
| A Bridgeport man had his wife az
rested for drunkenness. He furnished
| the wagon to carry her to the station
house, and wanted the city to pay for
its use. He was fully as tight as she
was.-Danbauy Ne,cs.
st. Louis Journal: An Olive street
girl who has perfected her musical ed
ucation in Boston, sings most artishcal-
ly such gems as ooh Carry Me Bach,"
"Liszten to the Mocking Bird, nH Verdi
I am Tired Now" "Ifn1n "a lFleWtow,
I'm Af1oat."
A Watertown. n. Y, -, farmer has
posted the following Cawshiin on
his premises: Gallo are notyfde to
keep off these lands, or will be sued
cording to lavs: ylklsy boys not allowed
to cline tbeE tfease aors Tease thar Wig
itbles. P. S.-No bluded stock Ia sail.
B. JoYyNd ,niaN 70 9tiE djroE pa
| Perhaps the meanest thing, sM4 king
,artistically, is the way they run tfK gum
at 3Vassar college ssEum,
for reasons best known to the iacu4y is
LETT off. tile catalogue eand b tkkirls