The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-10-05
VARIETIES.

JONi Va eOLibOO hCOSi
up.
"A miller has the divine right to
bolt. ........... ...... ...
1t is wise man who know his own
umbrella.
Texan mustangs can kick 1856 times
per minute.
Now prepare for the annual joke
about the stoyepipe.
"A Swiss patent makes the dials of
watches visible at night,
Paint applied to buildings in au
tumn is the most durable.
Prince Henry, of the Netherlands,
is the richest man in Europe.
-Hypocrites are beings of darkness
disguised in garments of light.
Last year the gold yield in North
Carolina amounted to 100000.
The common poke weed has been
found a good material for paper.
Gen. Fremont's beard and hair are
snow-white; his age is sixty-fve.
-Tumors, apparently cancerous, have
been cured by iodide of potassium.
American made cigars are being
shipped abroad in large quantities.
Prussia has what is said to be sure
eXterminator of the Colorado beetle.
The fees of Chicago's Register dur
ing the last Bankrupt day amounted to
100000.
"A mans own good breeding is the
best security against other peoples ill
manners.
All the doors in the Boston school
houses are to be altered so as to swing
both ways.
Policemen may not think the same,
but then they generally club together
pretty well.
"A book is mans best friend, and
the only one he can shut up without
giving offense.
The Sandwich Island Cabinet now
consists of one Englishmen, one Ameri-
can and two natives. ..
If all those who obtain not their de-
sires should die of disappointment, who
would be living upon the earth?
"A Rochester IN. " woman stole
a hat to be married in, because she had
no money with which to buy one.
An efficient, adjustable, anti-pro-
family stove-pipe has been patented and
will be put into the market the coming
fall.
-"I don't like that cat, it's got
splinters in its feet, was the excuse of
a four-year-old for throwing the kitten
away.
If lady runs against you in the
street, apologize. She expects it. 1t
is the custom of the country.
fast Table.
TO work out our own contentment,
we should labor not so much to IN
crease our substance, as to moderate
our desires.
-Tailors sit cross-legged Just to be
obstinate. Any one of them could do
twice as much work with his feet hang
ing off box.
"A new tissue paper of the texture
of cobweb is made in Bavaria. 1t is
used for cleaning silverware, etc., and
is remarkably cheap.
Bleeding at the nose can be stopped
by telling man that his parents were
born in the poorhouse His nose will
stop and yours will begin.
An iron man is on exhibition at
Columbia, Pa, which walks around
circle seven feet in diameter, impelled
by two little engines in his chest.
The original stock of the beet oc-
ours wild on the Grecian shores of the
Mediterranean Sea. 1t also grows wild
in some of the islands of the Atlantic.
Green peat, mixed with a little coal
dust, is being used in the East for heat
ing engine boilers, with saving of 80
from 80 to 40 per cent. over best soft
coal.
The man who will tell lie about
the size of a squash can't be trusted in
any official position. Spot these chaps
and remember 'em at the polls.-Free
Press. re f~e W. rr-e.r
Cleopatra needle has at last been
raised into position on the Thames en-
bankment at London, after escaping
dangers by sea and in the English
courts.
"A man will sit on picket fence all
the afternoon to SEGA baseball match,
but put him in a church pew for three
quarters of an hour and he will wobble
all over the seat.
Nothing makes man so mad as to
get about five blocks away from the
dentists and make the alarming dis
covery that he had the wrong tooth
pulled. -HaaCk-Eye
"A beautiful example of "force of
habit" is to see disciple of Murphy
fill his glass at the hydrant and dream
lily blow the froth off the innocent
water before drinking. ...
Spanking baby in a rude, inso-
lent or angry manner renders mother
liable to prosecution for assault and
battery, according to the decision of
Lafayette Qnd.) justice.
In the rivers of Canada are varie-
ties of fish originally from salt water
which can swim by zig-zag movements
from the bottom to the top of a sheet of
falling water fifty feet high.
Women are worth something in
Idaho, A Mrs. Black, who was thrown
from stage and had her arm broken
wants 100000 damages, and is deter
mined not to take cent less.
The English language cannot be