The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1878-05-04
THE MAN WITH A LIVER.


had such pleasant companion on my
way home from Aurora. He got on at
Bristol, and took dinner at the " Cosnopoli-
tam" He sat with me at dinner and didn't
seem to have much appetite. lie groaned
when he took up the bill of fare, and sighed
as he looked across the table at my order,
and then shook his head dolefully and told
the waiter to bring him little boiled trout
will. egg sauces. bit of boiled mutton with
capcr sauce, some roast beef triae rare,
just taste of roast lamb, turkey with cram
berry sauce, mashed potatoes, roast duck
some pork and beans, Boston style, stewed
tomatoes, corn turnips, squash, bit of cold
tongue, some sharp relish, and a cup of cof-
fee. Then he ordered some assorted cake,
cranberry pie, Indian pudding, and ice
cream for desert, and said he felt darned
sight more like dying than eating
If he dies as well as he eats, just imagine,
just think, what glorious, triumphant
death that man will die.
Shortly after dinner the poor man came
into the coach and sat down opposite me.
"Ah" he said, with a deep groan, al
don't know what I wouldn't give if l could
eat like you"
"Sirp I said, in afne burst Of indgna-
ton, for l feared he was going to accuse me
of swallowing my knife every time took
bite of pie, and just made up my mind
that would cut his heart out if he limited
at such a thing
"oh, it's a fact" he replied; al haven't
enjoyed meal for years"
"Was it possible2" I asked in amaze
ment.
"Indced, yes" he said. "I'm all out of
fix, I've no liver at all, to speak Of"
l didn't suppose one liver would be of
any account to him. l rather thought that
if he could get a couple of gangs of livers,
and work them by reliefs, they might be
able to help along, especially if he had
them made of tin. But then he was
stranger to me, so l didn't feel justified in
making the suggestion.
"No," he continued, "my liver is no
more account than lump of lead. sup
pose," he said plaintively, otis as big as
four of yours" o.,
And he looked at me with appealing
glance, as though he expected me to take
my liver out and let him examine it, as
though it were an oroide watch he wanted
to trade for. ..
Now, if there is any thing in this wide,
beautiful world that will make me mad, it
is to have a man who is ailing sit down and
bore me with list of his diseases and de-
tailed description of his anatomical de-
rangements. And the men of free Ameri-
ca, it seems to me, would rather talk about
their perishing livers than their never
dying souls, and it always makes me mad
for man to come at me and burden me
with complaints about the torpidity Of his
liver, as though l were his physician. I
am proud confess to the blindest, densest
Ignorance concerning my own inner life.
don't know whether my liver is round or
shaped like a gun-case, and l don't know
where it is, and I don't care a continental,
although always had the impression that
it was just under the shoulder blades. So
said to the man, with very great enthusiasm:
"Oh, do tell me all about your liver!
should like so to know all about it! am
so interested in such things" r.....
The man seemed little surprised at my
sudden enthusiasm, but he said there was
not much to tell about it, It was as torpid,
he said, as a snake in December.
"Oh, charming, charming!' I exclaimed.
"And is it tame? Do you let it run around
loose, or do you have to keep it chained up?"
The stranger stared and looked as though
he would like to sit a little further away.
He said he didn't just exactly understand
me.
"And how Is your aploen?" I asked
eagerly. and Xpur yputriclaa9 An1 do