The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-04-27
SUNBEAMS.

Pump-ous sort of fellows-M Milkmen.-
! n Y. Commercial
Those who want everything to be in
apple pie order are usually as short as pie
crust.
A Maine bull recently took al the hair
off mans head. He must have been a
boss barber.
| "Win the coming woman lecture ?" asks
contemporary. If she marries she will.
-No,ristown Herald.
Sixty thousand dollars worth Of stamps
sold ut our Post Office during one week
proves the peoples letter-ary taste.-N 7.
NesOs.
An old maid in the West End lost fa-
vorite cat by death, and she had his skin
stuffed for pillow-a new variety of cat
er-pilar.- -Cmetnaats Saturday Night,
Almost anybody can send boy on an
errand, but only the wealthy have leisure
to spare to wait for him to get back
Rome Sentinel.
/ A woman was offered thousand pounds
if she would remain silent for two hours.
At the end of fifteen minutes she asked,
''Isn't the time nearly up?"
Never accuse laundress of being inebri-
ated because she's 'three sheets in the
wind" She may have three more ironed
and ready to send home.
I A female servant in Dublin has been
sentenced to fourteen days Imprisonment
| for pushing her mistress out of the
kitchen, and calling her "kitchen wal
loper."
The Detroit Free Press informs US
that the mucilage on postage stamps is
made of potatoes and peach brnndy, and
that the more you lick it the more you will
like it.
| P. T. Barnum is not regular jour-
nalist, but he's been around newspaper
Offices enough to know how it feels to
have $4,000 libel suit decided against
him.
1t was Boston man who went home
early in the morning, and meeting the sad,
reproachful eyes of his wife, apologized:
My darling, l think you'll be sorry for
this when you git shober."
A st. Joe editor had an article headed
"What is it we drink? ?" and O rival editor
went over to the nearest saloon and ascer-
tained that it was usually clear corr
juice Chicago Journal.
Women are not very proud of their an.
cestry; not nearly SO much SO as man.
You will find a thousand men named
Adam where you will find one woman
named after her llustrious grandmother
Eve.
"Charles," said she to her Sunday
school class, mention some act of vio-
lence that was inflicted near the sea about
this time" Don't remember any; 'cept
Jonah was whale-laid on the shore. y
Graphic.
In Memphis the Police Department has
twelve officers to thirty seven prjvates
and the Fire Department ten officers tc
thirty-four priyates. The Mayor thinks
that one class ought to be reduced or the
! other increased.
Speaking of riddles, Mr.. JONES'" said 0
Chicago landlord, "can you tell me the diff
ference between q beefsteak and shingle.
mo ~ "Then I'll bron you shinglt
hereafter every morning for breakfast in
stead of beefsteak.
A little man had threatened to horse
whip big man. Whip in hand, he en-.
tered restaurant where the big man was
eating, but after short survey of the back
of his enemy, he retreated, and wher
asked why he had not carried his threa
into execution, he replied, ooh, hang it
that fellow is twice as big as he was yester
day."
''Here's my wife and l." said husband
with much complacency, to his silver-wed
ding guests, "who have been married five
and-twenty years, and in all that tim,
haven't had a single unkind word with each
other" "By Jove" exclaimed one of tht
guests, what stupid time you must have
had of it."
A Boston shopkeeper sued for damages
because his store was shortened 20 feet by
the widening of street, and in the tria
was asked whether he had not thus OBJ
tained better and stronger light. HI
answered that he had. "Then why do you
claim damages ?" Because, was the re-
ply, Gin this locality the quality of goods
sold requires the poorest light"
There are two keepers out shooting on {
Perthshire moor, one of whom was very
large, bulky man, the other being compare.
lively small and puny. The big man go
badly shot, whereupon all his companions
in arms were heard to say by way of sym.
pathy was "Rin, man, rim, an keep rim.
ming, so that we meyna hae to carry ye
far!"
The fve-year- daughter of an Eighth
street family, the other day, stood watch.
ing her baby brother who was making a
great fuss over having his face washed.
The little miss at length lost her patience,
and stamping her tiny foot said: "You
think you have lots of trouble, but you
don't know anything about it. Wait till
you're big enough to get lickin' and then
you'll see-won't he, mamma ?"-C Cincinnati,
BreakfaSt Table.
NATIONS AS LETTER WRITER'S.