The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-01-31
SUNBE ANS.
Hand made shoes must be for servants.

Fire escape-the husband who lies ',ad
IN the morning until his wife gets up and
builds the fire.
. A doting mother, satisfied that her child
merited fogging, insisted on its taking
chlorororm first.
: A man used to say to barber, "Thin
out my hair little Wives were moi
, then invented-we mean acquired.
A parrot is said to live 70 be two hundred
years old. A barber does not live SO long,
but he talks more.
my lord, p" said the foreman of Welsh
jury, when giving in the verdict, 1--WE
find the man who stole the mare not
guilty"
A neighboring editor explains that when
he advises his readers to lay in their COAL
he does not mean that they are to sleep
in it.
Nobody can tell how many disputes for
the front side of the bed have been settled
by moving the bedstead in the centre of the
room.
When girl gets mad and rises from q
fellows knee, but thinks better of it and
goes back again, is what they call re-
lapse,
1t may not be 'all of death to die" as
the old hymn puts it; but it is the only
thing about it that gives the undertaken any
satisfaction.
You can't tell mans character by the
way he shakes hands. He may be annoyed
at the tightness of his suspenders, and
hardly grip at all.
A baby at the recent exhibition weighed
only pound and half, and the Worcester
Press says its mother spanked it with tack
hammer.
! Thus, for instance, the heading of mar
rlage notice in one of exchanges reads:
'Rhea-Morse.
what is goddess, pap" asked a very
talkative young lady ''It isa person of the
feminine gender that holds her tongue"
said the old man, severely.
young colored lady of Philadel-
phia, wears shoes seventeen inches long,
and there is so much of her on the ground
that she never gets the dampness out of her
system.
District Visitor (blandly:) "Wel, dame,
and how do you find things now?" Crusty
old Cottager "How do you find things
Why, by looking arter EN-, to be sure"
They can't determine the question in
Schenectady whether Christians should
dance or not, and Christians will, meanwhile,
be allowed to keep time" with the foot
when the fiddle plays.
A Virginia sheriff asked murderer If be
wanted to make speech on the gallows,
and he rp lied: Guess not; it looks like
rain, and don't want to get wet Go on
with the hanging"
A good little boy who was kicked by a
mule did not say naughty words or go home
crying to his mother. He just tied the
mule within five feet of a beehive, backed
him round TO it and let him kick.
Mrs Elderkin, of Cohasset, was baking a
turkey and had returned from the kitchen
to entertain Mr.. Donny in the parlor, whe2
suddenly the servant opened the door and
said Ma'am shall baste the baste.
"Wen, may I hope, then, dear, that at
some future time | may have the happiness
of making you my wife?" "Yes, | nope
SO, Pm sure, she replied, for Pm getting
tired of suing fellows for breach OF
promise"
She was an innocent servant girl, but
she had presence of mind, and when
she broke the stove wrench in attempting
| to shake the kitchen stove she promptly
explained to her mistress, who came in at
that instant, that the cat did it,
Pm waiting meath the window, love,
upon the pOrch's seat; I'm waiting here till
you come down, your own true love to
greet. Don't be too long a-fxin up-for
If | may make bold, amt a-goin' to wait
here long, a-sittin' i'll the cold.
A base, ignoble brute of Oil City says
that when he sees woman neither fat nor
fair but forty, with a cardinal red plume
on her hat, It suggests to him life and
| death struggle between nature and art,
with art on top with large majority.
My friend, have you a snlking wife !?
Don't go and worry on it, but try and use
| diplomacy; tits best - depend upon it.
Don't beg and coax-don't go and write
poem or sonnet; rouse her dropping spirits
| with brand-new winter bonnet.
"A New York Judge has decided that all
the wedding presents belong to the bride
Husbands will have to appeal. The next
4 thing you know, if a pair of broadcloth
| trousers are included among the bridal
! presents, a New York Judge will decide that
4 the wife must wear them"
"Whoa, Emma!" is the English slang at
| present One night in Manchester, when
l Adelaide Nelson was about to take her
poison, as Juliet, gallery god unexpected
/ ly shouted out to her, Whoa Emma y
and she had to whoa in the midst of her
woe, foI the audience roared with laughter.