The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-02-28
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

| SENSE AND NONSENSE.
SNORING is now politely described as
indulging in sheet music.
MINERS have q superstition that
whistling in mines is provocative OF ill
luck.
A STICK in time saves nine-some-
times when the fire is low.-P0rt Ches-
ter Journal.
EXPERIENCE may be dear teacher,
but she isn't any dearer than a pretty
school-ma' am.
AN able man shows his spirit by gen.
tie words and resolutc actions; he is
neither hot nor timid.
The great question, "Docs it hurt q
man to hang him?" is thus answered:
cit hurts his reputation"
THE days of knighthood have passed
away, yet about every tramp you meet
Is incased in coat of aims.
MAKE no more vows to perform this
or that; it shows no great strength, and
makes thee ride behind thyself.
THE Bishop of the African Methodist
Church of Louisiana warns the negroes
against the Libcrian movement.
A MULTITUDE of laws in q country is
like a great number of physicians
sign of weakness and malady.-I0t-
tatre.
KRUPr, the cannon-maker says: Der
Lordt has been goot to me. He makes
lots of war to help my poor vanity
along"
~ CAN'T undertake, wife, to CRAFTY
all your whims; it would be rs much
rs my life is worth" 30, sir, that's
nothing"
| A CONTEMPORARY asks: "What is
Christianity?" Poor fellow! We sup
pose he can't afford to keep diction-
ary.-N. y. Mail.
| A DELAWARE paper says of man
whose cow died: "Mr. Jones has the
sympathy of the entire community in
this dark hour of grief
PERHAPS there is no significance in
the fact that, of the only two persons
ever born with double tongues, two
were girls. Worcester Press.
AFTER the Selcctmcn of New Haven,
Conn.,, had paid poor woman $54S in
town orders they discovered that she
had 81 900 in the bank.
If you want to be scientific, instead
of telling your friend that his head is
levcl,' simply tell him he is dolicho-
platyccphalic.-C Chicago Journal.
The Italians say that he who offends
never forgives. Tacitus gave the reason
for it. 1t is, he says, because the causes
of hatred are the more violent the more
unjust they are.
truth lies at the bottom of WE'LL"
We have often verified this by looking
down into well and seeing Truth 8
honest countenance in the smooth water.
l-W0rcester Press.
THE Cambria News, having occasion
to speak of the rector of Llanfairpwll-
gwyngyllgogcrtys iliogogogoch, u par
ish in Anglesea, mentions that this is
| merely an abbreviation of the full title
OF the village.
SUNDAYSCHOOL teacher to aston
ished child My dear, every hair of
your head is numbered" Scholar (hes-
itating) to astonished teacher" Pull
out No. s for me, then, please. Port
| Chester Journal.
A LAssIE wrote to young man she
had taken a fancy to, '.Come and meet
me in the cleaning, john" and when
the time came John wasn't there. He
subsequently explained that he couldn't
find such place.
A FARMER of Monmouth County, N.
j., exasperated at the loss of his sheep
through dogs, shot Il dog which he sup
posed to be sheep-killcr. The "in-
telligent jury" has awarded the owner
Of the dog $500 damages.
AN intelligent reader does often find
out, in other mems writings, other per-
F., fections, and invest them with better
sense and higher construction, and more
quaint expression, than the author him.
self either intended or perceived
Montaignc.
The Worcester Press, referring to
the statement that the widow of Presi-
dent Tyler recently appeared in court
as plaintiff in rent suit, says it is re-
proach to the Republic that the widow
Of an ex-Presidcnt hadn't whole suit
to appear in.
AS AN illustration of the deplorable
tendency of this age to the use of
"slang," we quote the following from
the verbatim report of an Omaha
Judges charge: Plaintiff seems to
have got the bulge on the defendant; jury
please take notice. IN. Y. Graphic.
The greatest demand for silver coins
is for the half-dollar. The quarter
dollar is the second favorite, and the
dime is the third and last in the list.
The demand for half-dollars is twice as
great as for quarters, and five times
more halves are required than dimes.
TIE trade in dead dogs is lively in
some parts of Connecticut. Enterpris-
ing youths are collecting the tails and
ears of vagrant CANNES necessary to Sc
cure the 81 bounty. 1t is even said
that these articles Of dog apparel have
already become circulating medium,
and that one cruel father has gathered
enough from his boy to trade for bar
rel of flour. So does Connecticut thrift
make good come out of the dog evil.
ArALE is told of a lot of Chinese
who were engaged to work in shoe
mandatory, in the East, some years
ago, the native hands having knocked
off work because of difference with
their employers about wages. The
Chinese were put into the shop, and in
structed in the details of the labor they
were to perform, and an old shoe with
4 patch on it was shown to them Is a
model. To the surprise of the manu-
facturer the first shoes were exact imi-
tations of the model, including the
patch.
Keeping . Diary.