Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1878-07-06
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.

NetCI sup w oiSNo sNS f
an excited hornet.
In the Black Hills jack rabbits are
called narrow-gauge mules.
A roomer in the street.-The chap
that always sleeps in the gutter.
Speculation--A word that some-
times begins with its second letter.
Men will give er ormous gifts to
women whom they would not take as
agift.
You have all heard of mummies,
but did you ever hear of a mummy
in-law
The Hawkeye wants to know if
the past tense of stave factory is stove
factory.
Frank Leslie has title-"B. L. T.
Ia" 1t means biggest Literary
Thief in America"
"Beauty and booty" was the cry of
the young man who kissed the girl
and was kicked by her father.
The butcher who sells ox-tails for
SOUP anu CHtNtS bchuo loI uh-
doubtedly makes both ends meet.
Insanity is no cause for divorce in
Wisconsin. They think a man must
be crazy in the first place to marry.
No husband who chews tobacco
will refuse to buy house plants. The
vases are as handy as pocket in a
shirt.
If there is anything more than
another which will quicken a guilty
conscience it is kick from an army
mule.
1t is only long-armed women who
can wear fifteen -buttoned gloves.
The others must learn to suffer and be
strong.
There is no thorn without its rose.
If YOU break your leg the neighbor
women come in and tell you the
gossip.
A barefoot Syracuse girl kicked a
burglar out of house and an OBJ
serving mule went behind the barn
and wept.
The Picayune says that the mind
of the dreamy communist wanders
ou, over the sea Of thought on a
schooner of beer.
brilliant and impulsive people
have black eyes," If they don't
have them to begin with they get
them sooner or later.
The Chicago Journal pithily re-
marks that for the first time in 1900
years scandal -mongers seem to have
become a little tired.
Jonah ought to congratulate him
self on how much safer he was in the
whales belly than he would have
been in an ironclad man-of-war.
Wilhelm to his people-"My child
rem have not done so much for you
as l have wished, but you will ad-
nit as target l have served you
faithfully"
The fact that George Washington's
wife never asked where he had been
when he came home late at night,
goes great way toward accounting
for his extreme truthfulness.
The definition of Webster of
bonnet as "a covering for the female
head" ought to be remodeled into ga
covering for the vision of the man
in the back seat of the theater."
General Beauregard is one of the
judges at the New Orleans baby show;
but how can beau regard fully the
claims of baby if the mother hap
pens to be young and good looking 2
The European Congress wisely de-
cided not to attempt the election of
o suitable doorkeeper. So we shall
not hear Of any fellow writing home
that he is a bigger man that old
Kaiser Bill.
Says colored philosopher: Twen-
ty years ago niggers was wuf thou
sand dollars apiece. Now, dey
would be deah at two dolla's dozen.
It's 'stonishin' how de race am a
runnin' down.
Curious folks in Chicago. A cleri-
cal gentleman in Janesville, Wiscon-
sin, sent to a Chicago bookseller for
Farrar's "Seekers after God" The
bookseller simply wrote back: "No
such persons in Chicago"
1t takes more philosophy to sit
down on tack without swearing
than it does to put up with cold
dinner on wash day without grum.
bling. This item was handed in by
. man who has tried both,