The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1878-09-09
A man whose every look betrayed anxious
thought knocked softly at Biiah's door.

BY his air
One would know he was
Stranger there.
"Mr. Joy, this country is in an awful
way," he began as he took chair.
Is-that-So?"
..Yes. I can't sleep nights for thinking
OF if, We must save her. We must effect
q compromise between capital and labor,
creditor and debtor, oflice-holder and cleo
tor, and thus save this glorious old nation
from destruction. Tell me what to do,
sir ?"
Biiah looked him over from head to foot,
made mental guess at his age and weight,
and finally replied:
"Mister man, my advice to you is to begin
to lay in turnips, 'taters, and beans for win
ter use and to let this country strictly
alone. It's none O. your business to save
her. sir; none @ your business what be-
comes OF her."
But won't you advise me, sir?"
>"Yes, you bet will! Go home, or some
where, and get on clean shirt! 60 and
get your hair cut and your face washed !
Go and fill up your lankness with free
lunch, and you might hire boy to hoe the
mud off them boots Save this country !!
why, sir, you couldn't save the northeast
quarter Of the southwest quarter OF section
Of mud-hole!"
'AIr. JOY, do deserve this?"
"Yes, aud more, too! There are dozen
more Just like you around town. They are
always talking about this poor country, and
wanting some one to save her, while their
wives and children go hungry for bread and
SILVER all winter for the want OF clothes.
Git right out Of here, sir! Go and wash
UP and then 90 to work When this dear,
suffering country wants your services Pli
drop you postal-card."
"Mr. Joy, won't you let me save this
country?"
.sCan't be patriot?"
.sNo, sir :"
Cant -"
"No, sir!
The man paused for u while, and then in
sad voice he asked:
..Mr. JOY, believe you could lend me a
quarter if you tried awful hard!"
The old man grew black and blue in the
face, but, suppressing his emotions, after
moment he forced smile and replied:
PLEASE come out into the back yard. /
keep my silver buried out there for fear Of
thieves"
He started out, diabolical grin on his
mouth, but the man who wanted to save the
country made sudden break for the street
and got away.--FTee Press.
GA Reader" asks: elbow do you tell
ripe watermelon ?" We don't tell it. A
ripe watermelon doesn't want to be told
anything. lis inherent goodness prevents
it from asking questions. But when a green
watermelon comes into your house you
want to, tell 1t to 'get out" And IL it
doesn't 60, kick it out. NoyTisto,on Her
aid.
Puck has achieved a remarkable triumph,
considering the extraordinary heat ia which
it was accomplished. He had found a
rhyme for window-Which the same Is
"thin dough-" It must have required
Heaven hours labor to g raise that Hourly
rhyme. -NorYisto,pa Herald.
A commercial traveller out west took o
notion to look into the political status OF the
businessmen he met. Among one hum
dred aud five he found only eight Green
hackers iLGdelp hia Press (Rsp).
a mosquito is one Of those unreasonable
creatures that viii strain at q net and sWal-
Iowa quilt. w hecti1lg Leader.
Charles Reade's ID q standing choler.
& Louisville tsestrier-ss Journal.
Just as the elboW's bent, the swig' 81 in-9
ciined. nproved from jBoston Post.