The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1878-12-26
Timothy TilcOmb's Letters 10 Young
Women.

When | Was young mIn, tMemnrE
does not have 10 go 50 far back as II
might To recall that period 0hSPrv-
ed a couple of facts from which ! now
propose TO draw a lesson for your bene-
fit. | observed, first, that yOuhg mar
ried women had peculiar charm for
unmarried young men, and That a
yOHng mans first love WAS almost uni
fOrInly devoted 10 a woman older than
himself. | suppose ] might maine one
young man who was affected in This
way, but what would be the use? lt
Is enough for yOH To know the facts,
and for me Ia explain and improve
them.
A manageable young woman Occu-
pies, or is made TO Ocupy,
a position of peculiar hardship.
Our theory is that a woman should
never make an advance toward the
man she loves and would marry. Such
step is deemed inconsistent with
maiden mOdeSty. | do not quarrel
with this, but the effect las been to
make young women, who possess SEN
sitiVe natures, hypOCriteS. Ii ought
not to do il. but it does. Every modest
young woman, possessing Il good de-
gree Of gumptiOn, plays a part, almost
ALWAYS, when in the society of young
men. The fear is that by some word,
or look, or act, she shall express such Il
degree of interest in a young man as
shall lead him to believe that she is
after him. Young women study the
effect Of their language, they often
shun ciYilities, they put ON an artificial
and constrained style of behavior, for
fear that some ass will miscOnstrue
them, or some gentleman whom they
wish to please will deem them too for
ward; and so become disgusted. The
result is that a man rarely finds out
lther tine best or the worst point Of
} his " ifo's chaTa ster before he maTTieS
| her. Social intercourse is carried On
under kind of protest, which places
every young woman IN 4 position ahSo-
lutelN false before the eyes Of young
men. Many Il mOman owes a life Of
celibacy and disappointment To the
fact that she never felt at liberty 10
act for herself.
With these statements, II rs very easy
To understand the attractions which a
young married woman has for hache-
lOT, and explain the phenomenon of a
young man falling in love with 4 wo-
man Older than himSelf.S q la the first
instance, a married woman becomes
agreeable, because she becomes perfect
ly natural and uncOnstrained, her cir
cumstanceS allowing all the more
grateful forms of p0liteneSS-the cor
dial greeting. the complimentary at
tentiOns, and the free cOnN NeTSitlOn-
without the danger of being miscOn-
strued. In the latter instance. the wO-
man throws off her restraint in the
same manner, because she is the So
ciety of one whom she regards rs, in
reality. Il boy She finds. very much t0
her surprise. that she has won the
bows heart. hut il was the most natural
thing in the world lie had never got
sight at a WOman'S nature before.
The girl with whom h had associated
had always worn mask. The real
heart behind it he had thus far failed
20 apprahend. There Is a very general
impression among young men whose
affections are not engaged, that the
best women are married, and that those
that are left do not amount To much.
They will think differeUtiy some time
or other.
Now nv idea is that the universal
mask-Wearing system should be broken
up. Ii does injustice 10 all parties. II
there is, in society, any poor fool of a
young man whose vanity is 50 open 10
fiattery that 4 young woman cannot
treat him with natural, cordial polite
ness, without his thinking that she
would like Ia marry him. and is trying
| to Pnsnare him. let him think so, and
trust To time and circumstances for
justice. Such men are of too little ac-
count in the world To pay for carrying
a deceitful face, and despOiling the in
| tercOurSe of the Young of its sweetest
| charms. If yOu like the society of
yOHng men. take no pains to conceal
| il, but treat them with frank cOrdiality.
No true gentleman among them will
miScOnStrue YOU. Ii is not necessary
for you to tell them that you calculate
to lead maiden life. They know you
| lie. 1t will not do To indicate to any
man of sense that YOU do not like the
attentions and society of gentlemen.
/ for he knows better. He knows. n
/ least, that YOU ought 10 like them, and
that if you do not, there is something
wrong about YOU. Don't practice
humbug of any kind. 4 man who is
| frank and Open-hearted with YOU. de-
/ serves to be met with a frank and open
/ ~ .NOAlF anu III
/ in every hundred, men will he hOnOra-
! bic and manly with yOu, if You will lay
I aside suspicion, and trust them. If 4
man prove himself unworthy of your
| confidence, You have your remedy. Cut
him, and bring him upon his marrow
bones.
| have given my advice, without
many qualifications. but do not mis-
/ cOnstrue me. l write upon the SuppO-
sitiOn that you have got common sense,
I and know what | mean. Some people,
] suppose, would present you with a
formula BY which To conduct YOUR in
/ tercOurSe with young men. | know a
/ large number of fathers and mothers
who Will think that upon this subject
l ought to guard my language, and he
more particular; but l know very well
| that if You have not sense enough 20
| take this general counsel, and Use ii
/ JudlciOuSly, no qualifications that |
/ could make would he Of any service 10
You. trust yOH. 1 believe YOU are
ElrtuouS young women, with pure
hearts and true intentions; and | know
there Is no danger To you until yOu
cease 10 be such. You have an instinct
Gods word in YOUR own SnulS-that
/ tells YOU when a man takes the FIRST
wrong step towards YOU; and if you do
not repel that step in such a manner
/ that it will never be repeated. do you
suppose that anything | could say Il
You would do any good? | say this
that perfect frankness and cordially
in the treatment of young men art
consistent with the safety Of any tru,
woman from insult or offensive fa
miliarity. Is your father afraid L,
trust you out Of his sight ! am not
/ II were, l would he ashamed To con
fess it, particularly if yOu were =
daughter of mine. / believe in you
and believe, moreover, that if this in
fernal idea that men are your natural