The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-07-04
The Great Cow Case.
The facts in the case of McGlue versu.

4hO lOuu OVW OooOs
The facts in the case of McGlue versus
Rollins, were these:
Rollins's COW, it seems, while feeding
oil the common, got through place
alleged by the defendant to have been
purposely left open in the fence of Nc
Clues garden. She did some damage,
but was driven out, and when McGlue
demonstrated with Rollins about the
predatory and incendiary tendencies of
his cow, Rollins replied with declama-
tory and unparliamentary language.
Thereupon, McGlue went up and sued
him for trespass, and swore to push the
case to the last extremity. McGlue's
lawyer, Poddery, went right to work,
aud when Rollins heard about it, he got
his lawyer, Hopkins, to bring counter
suit for conspiracy to entrap the cow.
McGlue then told Poddery to open
out second suit for damages done to
eight fence-pailings and a post by Rol-
lins's COW, and Rollins also made fresh
start in another suit against McGlue, in
which he claimed fifteen dollars for the
ruin of his cows horn by McGlue's
grape arbor. This seemed to McGlue
so audacious, that he ordered Poddery
to include in his claim the market price
of four cabbages and a bunch of parsley
that the COW ate. He said he would
have let them go as of no account, if
Rollins hadn't proved himself, such a
conscienceless scoundrel.
But this last movement exasperated
Rollins to such a degree that he went
over and got old Mrs. Muldooney to
make affidavit that she saw McGlue
milking the COW, while it was on his
grounds, in the wash-boiler. Armed
with this affidavit, Hopkins had McGlue
arrested, and he was held in security to
answer charge of petty larceny.
McGlue was furious. He got Poddery
to open out a new suit, based upon the
fact that Rollins's cowhad scared one of
his children into fits, injuring the con-
stitution of the child, and involving
large expenditures for medical attend
ance. But just as the constable was
going to serve the notice, Rollins came
in and swore out fresh process against
McGlue for damages done to the cow by
McGlue's setter pup biting her in the
near hind leg just above the ankle.
Poddery then told McGlue that the
time had come for decisive action; that,
unless justice was a mockery and human
rights hollow sham, he must settle this
man Rollins at once. So McGlue Or
dered new suit against Rollins for de-
struction of his property, in permitting
his COW to rub the whitewash off of the
corner of McGlue's pigsty, and McGlue
said he would carry the case to the Su-
preme Court, if it should be necessary.
Rollins met this assault by putting in
demand for compensation for the hair
lost by his cow by coming into collision
with McGlue's pigsty, and, at the sug-
gestion of lawyer Hopkins, he added a
sworn item, in which he showed that
the digestion of the COW had been per-
manently ruined by the latch of the
pigsty, which was SO loose that it came
off when the COW nibbled it, and was
swallowed. : -
Wnen McGlue called to ask Poddery
what should be done NOW, that eminent
lawyer was out buying house with the
fees that had already accrued from the
great COW case. Hopkins, at that mo-
ment, was paying off an old mortgage
with his fees.
When Poddery came in, he said that
things had now reached a crisis. Nc
Clues clear duty was to throw himself
upon his country, and to stamp out this
fend who was pursuing him with malig-
nant fury.
After talking it over for an hour, Pod
derry took out the papers in another suit
in which McGlue accused Rollins of
breach of the peace in permitting his
COW to wake Mrs. McGlue's baby in the
very crisis of the mumps, by its "moo-
ing;;" and still another, in which Nc
Glue claimed compensation for the
brick which he heaved at the COW, and
for the manual labor expended in the
effort. .-..5.-s.F
Rollins retaliated by arresting Nc.
Glue for corrupting the morals of Rol.
lins's boy, Jim, by the use of profane
and scandalous language while he was
striving to eject the cow.
As soon as McGlue entered bail, he
told the squire that he would call in the
morning to enter suit against Rollins
for permitting his cow to butt.down Nc.
Clues pigpen.
Rollins overheard him, and at once
made an affidavit, stating that the shock
of the encounter with the pigpen had
given the COW brain fever, and SO de.
ranged her mind and unstrung her
nervous system that she was now in the
habit OF coming homeward, up the hill
tail foremost, in such manner as to
excite general derision.
The two suitors left the squire's Office
together. AS they passed through the
doorway Rollins jostled McG elbow
McGlue logged back again, and Rollins
struck him. They clinched.
n