The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1878-04-11

he could make enough off his own drinks
to pay the rent.
The best thing ever said about
war between Russia and England was
the mot of Prince Gortschakoff, who
said: " 1t would be fight between
fish and dog
With what little friction the earth
would reyolye if the suayity of new
beau in the preSencs of the mother OF
his adored would only become epidemic,
- Breakfast Fable.
If the adage ''Love thy neighbor as
myself" were generally carried out, it
strikes us that some people we know
would be dreadfully fond of their neigh
bors.-NeIC York Commercial.
The spring pattern of dresses in
cludes cut-away coat and vest There
hasn't been such striking similarity OF
gentlemen's and ladies' apparel since
the days of Adam and Eve.-BOStOn
Post
An Ohio man (this Is not q political
item) got drunk the other day, caught
his neck between the pickets of fence
against which he stumbled and was
strangled to death Moral: Always
fall against tight board fence.-WorceS-
ter Press.
The Phonograph Age" VIII you
have re cavatina by Patti or re poStilliOn
sonsa by Waciitele'' ''Moye on you
beetle-browed garlic-eater, or I'll call
the police. You're the forty-ninth man
with a photograph that's been here
since daylight" (Artist proceeds to
the next house and strikes up a finale
from Wagner, Photographed at Bay
reuth. )-Cnscinna Commercial.
The Earl of Derby is in looks not
unlike the late Tom Savers. His sus-
penders are never fixed to the proper
height, consequently there is piece off
the bottom of his trowsers, owing to
their dragging. He is slOven. Very
courteous in manner, and when he opens
his thick-set mouth there issue master
pietes Of English composition. His In
come is about 90, 100000 per anhum.
A little granddaughter Of Prince
Bismarck was sitting on the Princes
knee the other day, when he suddenly
cried out, "Oh, uncle, hope | shall be
great man like you when | grow up !"
why, my cbild?' asked his uncle.
- Because you are so gte5t and every
one fears you" Wouldn't you rather
every one loved you?" The child
thought little, and then replied, "No,
uncle; for when people love you they
cheat you, but when they fear you they
let you cheat them"
&c Now, then, state your case" said
Detroit lawyer, the other day, as he
put the fite4dolIar bill away in his vest
pocket. "Wen," began his client
''suppose the man living next door
wants to put a barn right up against my
/ line, coming within two feet of my
house?'' "He can't DO it,, sir. Cam
do any such thing" replied the lawyer
" But want to put my barn right vi
against his line," remarked the client
Oh-ah-yes l see. Well, sir, g
right ahead and put your barn there
All the law in the case is on your side.
-Scene-in horse-car. A little DO.
whispers in his mothers ear sometliin!
to which she says No" The chile
begins to whine, and repeats his request
which is again unfavorably received
Thereupon there is crying and sobbinG
enough to terrify the whole EAR. Tn
gentleman opposite, gentleman who's
every feature beams with good natur
and good fortune, and all the better tina
his teeth are enshrined in the pures
gold, thinks he ought to interpose
"Dear little angel" says he, in pater
nal tone, "why not give him what h
wants? Is it impossible?" absolute
ly impossible" replied the mother
s'And what was it, then, he said?' in
quired the good man, unmasking still
more of his worries He said, Il wan
Monsieur's teeth to play with. ''-PaTi
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