Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1878-06-14
Humorous.

Humorous.
What beats good wifeY A bad hus-
band.
Why is crow like political gath
erlng? Because he is a caw-cus.
In 1870 the hoop-skirt manufacture
in this country amounted to S5,000,000,
but it has had a "pull-back."
Little notes from creditors
Little bills ON slate,
Make the average bank cashier
Rely potheeate.-DdH .Neps.
Tweed's death does one good thing.
1t takes off about Il million tons of fear
from a lot of New York rascals who
dreaded his blowing on them.-Phiia.
Bulletin.
The Rochester Express wants Edison
to invent something to take the squeak
out of shoes. Better turn his attention
to the COMPOUNDED stairs which give
q fellow away when he comes home
from the lodge.-keokuk Constitution.
Jokes on the diminutive proportions
of the commonwealth of Rhode Island
are frequent. But none of them are
better than what Voltaire said of Gene
va: When | shake my wig powder
the whole republic"
/" Helen" has another baby-a girl.
And John Habberton will please accept
the congratulations of his hosts of
friends in Burlington, and be happy,
even if he can'tname his youngest after
hnr fathor HomL,lto
Young Housekeeper-" ann afraid
those fish ] bought of you yesterday
were not fresh. My husband said they
were not nice at ALL" Brighton fisher
man" Well, marin, that be your fault;
it bcan't mine. I've offered 'em every
day this week, and you might ~ 'ad 'em
o. Monday if you'd looked - London
Punch.
A magazine writer says there is n
language of the hair. Don't doubt it in
the least. AT any rate we have heard
Of tolerably well authenticated cases
where single auburn hair on Il dark
coat.cCllar could talk palmer than II
guide board, and furnish the material
for q whole course Of lectures. -B,euk-
FIST Table.
Two Pennsylvania tramps stopped at
the house Of II lone widow, and one
went IN to beg. Very soon he came
out with u bloody nose and u first-class
black-eyc. Well, did you get any
thing, Jack p Yes" growled the saf-
lcrer, Eve got the Widows might"
A Boston paper reports this sugges-
tive bit Of conversation: Don't you
find that it hurts your lawn to let your
children play on it?' asked friend of
suburban the other day. Yes, )" an
swered the gentleman addressed, but
il doesn't hurt the children"
The gentleman who attracted attcn-
ton in church lust week by crying out,
Holy Moses. had no intention Of dis
tnrbing the congregation. lie had
been lacking down carpets on the day
before, and Just rs he sat down in his
pew he suddenly remembered that he
had half Il paper Of tacks in his coat
pocket. We make this explanation i'll
Justice to his family, who are highly
respectable. -SdH1Wtw L,mbamdn.
Mistress. But | thought you were
very comfortable. Mary Mary: Eyes,
mem, but the young man us keeps com
pany with me thinks there's too many
gentlemen visitors comes here, and they
might wean me from his young atfec-
tions; so with your permission, | will
not be u medium for contention
Lin rural district Of Forfarshire, II
young plowman once went counting on
u Saturday night. In vain he racked
his brain for some interesting topic; he
could call up no subject ut all suitable
for the occasion-not one sentence
could he utter, and for two long hours
he sat on in silent despair. The girl
herself was equally silent; she no
doubt remembered the teaching Of the
old Scotch song. Men maun be the
first to speak, and she sat patiently re-
garding him with demnre surprise. At
last John exclaimed, Jenny, there's
II feather on your apron = Il widna
hae wondered if there had been twa,n
replied Jenny, for I've been sittin'
aside II goose ~ nicht."
Riddv Met.inuiS nj tho phaf npro,harss