The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1878-04-24
AMiseslIareons. g
THE CONUNDRUM F9END.

usual "How're YEP" salutation:
brushed aside pile of exchanges.
took a seat on one corner Of the
editorial table, and with an en-:
couraging smile observed:
Say, I've got an A conundrum
you can't guess in two weeks. I
had big notion to send it to the
Scientific Monthly or the Philadel-
phia Bank Note Reporter, or some
O. them leading journals devoted
to original humor and light lite
rature, but a little reflection told
me it was my duty to patronize
home industry, so I'll give it TO you
for nothin'-not charge you SOL
itary red for it,
And squirting a stream Of to-
bacco juice with unerring accuracy
into a ten-dolIar cuspador in the
northwest corner of the room, he
wiped his mouth on his coat
sleeve and propounded the follow
ing awful conundrum
"Why-which-that is, what is
the difference between the widow
Perkinson and her daughter Sal
lie? Now ther!'
"About seventeen years, per-
haps," we ereplied at random, with
out susperding work on labored
and convincing editorial on GLOW
the Turks Might have Whipped
Russia"
"Oh, pshaw, mol" he growled ;
':you couldn't guess it in two
months and it is easy enough,
too, when you know the answer.
One"
"One has a husband and the
other wants one," We again ven
tured.
"No-Great Caesar, no +" he howl
ed 10 a tone Of disgust. "Don't
believe you would stumble on the
right answer in two yea"
"One," We interrupted again,
''is a widow and the other is a
wee dear"
"There you 60 again !" the tone
of disgust considerably deepened.
"You can't guess it in seven
yea"
zone mourns for a late husband
and the other mourns because her
husband is late-coming," we es-
sayed once more.
"Julius Antony, no !' he fairly
shrleked, seizing our shears and
fercely impaling severalexchanges
to the table. "It's a boss conun-
drum, and you might guess for
seventeen years, and you-''
"What was the front name OF
the widows dear departed ?" we
asked, becoming interested in the
iend's conundrum, in spite Of q
previously formed determination
| to kick him out of the back door
in five minutes out of a possible
six.
"William," he replied, between
his clenched teeth.
"Aha! Now we have q clew to
the answer. Ono has lost her
Will, and the other hasn't lost her
will-by a large majority.
"N-n-n or" be howled, in bold
faced plea caps, which nearly
overturned our inkstand, and made
| the windows rattle. "Great Oh
elisk, man, what a one-hoss con-
undrum guesser you are! III
| tell"
"One is born to wed, and the
other is worn To-"
Before we could finish our
answer-which if we remember
rightly, fits an original conundrum
propounded by every minstrel
troupe in the land during the past
twenty years-the fend slid off
the table as if be had collided
with bent pin, and cried aloud ::
"Why, you darned idiot !you
wouldn't guess it in two hundred
and thirty years. The difference
| between the Widow Perkinson
and her daughter Sallie is"
How old is SaIlie ?"
"-is this: the daughter has
a moire antique dress: but her
mother has q more antique face.
See ?"
x X x x *
We reluctantly confess that the
iend escaped with his life.-Nor-
| ristoa0n Herald.
1t is little troubles that wear