The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-02-09
His Honor and Bijah.

Good old Biiah has his hours of de-
spondency, as well as Congressman.
He had one of his fits on as the reporter
stole softly in, His eyes had an al
mond shape, his vest was not properly
pulled down, and there was a lump in
his throat as he slammed around and
muttered:
"After I've dropped dead on the
street, and been mopped around in the
mud, and dragged to the morgue, and
kivered up in the ground, folks will be-
gin to feel sorry and wish they had tried
to ease my soothing brow now and
thenr'
Behold how small thing will some
times lift man over fence by his sus-
penders, as it were! The old man was
handed the following letter, received
by the Free Press for him:
ROCHESTER,, N Y, Jan. II, 1878.
ABIJAH Joy, ESQ.,;
Dear Sir-As the Fifth Annual New York
State Grange p of H. is to meet here
on the 22d inst and continue it's session
for several days, it occurred to me (know-
ing that you take lively interest in the
advancement of agricultural pursuits) that
you might be persuaded to attend said meet
ing as self-constituted delegate from Michi-
gan. Enclosed find bill of fare used at the last
annual, assuring you that the next will be
equally elaborate and perhaps some better.
Very truly yours, VIM. HILDRETH.
He was pleased. He tickled his left
ear. Then he changed hands on the
broom and tickled his right. He be-
gan to smile. Then he grinned. Then
he rubbed his bald headas a boy ca
resses a peeled cocoanut, opened his
eyes, and wentinto the corridor saying:
"Now hahn that nice? That meant
for me, certain, and don't believe even
Gineral Grant got an invitation. Now
I'll live on-now I'll cure this cold
now I'll crowd my feet into No. u
boots and suffer in patiencen'
THE NEW CLERK.
Politics is not d" mighty onsartin'' as
many people quote. They are 'mighty
sartinn to leave fellow out in the cold
before he knows it. The old Clerk went
out and the new one came in so softly
that hardly anyone knew it. Bijah was
on the watch, however, and had the
following contract drawn up to be
signed:
l. No lying to each other.
2. No borrowing tobacco.
3. No remarks about feet.
4. No putting tacks in chairs.
5. No lending paper collars to each
other.
6. No borrowing shirts or tooth
brushes.
Z. No bringing strangers in here and
introducing me as the man with the
Iron Mask.
The Clerk having also affixed his sig
nature, the document was sealed and
filed, and the court opened on the case
of
OLIVE JANE DAVIS,
sometimes called 1.-The Tender Violet
of the West" The poor, pale flower
came out with limp, bowed as coldly
as if she had never appeared in court
before, and inquired:
"How long will it take me to reach
Saginaw"
"Sixty-one days." was the prompt
reply to His Honor.
"How?" she inquired after while.
Easiest thing in the world to figure
on, Miss Davis. Let sixty days in the
House of Correction stand for the divi-
dend, and a ride up there in a canary
colored barouche for the divisor. Sixty
days plus one equals"
"Oh, go longr' she interrupted. 81
don't deny that was bit intoxicated
last night, but I've got my trunk packed
for Saginaw, have written that l will
be there to-day, and friends will be at
the depot to meet me-"
"They will meet, but they will miss
thee" was his soft answer. "Some of
your friends will unpack your trunk,
tenderly shake out each garment, and
will sigh as they think of you up there
weaving the cane. No talking back,
now, Miss Davis, but walk in and take
a seat. "-DetroH Free Press.