The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1878-06-11

Aud walk of on his ear"
AN Ohio man has a three-eyed baby.
The eyed-dear! Another Ohio mani
with an extra orifce! -Graphic.
CHE parlor is the graveyard of the
house." cries the Rurai New Yorker. At
least, it is as expensive as funeral
COu1ier-Journal.
OLD DEACON DoBsoN always boosted
that he was prepared for the worst"
and his neighbors thought he got it
when he married his second wife.
A DETROIT man jumped into the river
the other day to cure his toothache. He
must have what they call ga jumping
toothache."
HAwKEYE says: "The onion is the
earliest harbinger of spring" It may be
in Iowa, but:in Michigan the whitewash
brush Gays over everything" -DetroH
free Press.
A MEDIUM has just received com
munication from Brigham Young. 1t
states in brief that If he had his life to
live over again he wouldn't be the old
bachelor he was before.
A CORRESPONDENT who says he has
frequently heard or "Tara's hauls" de-
sires TO know if old Tara was 4 bank
president or a Fall River mill manager.
--Commercidj Bulletin.
JENNIE JUNE says fashionable bon
net can be had for n dollar and half.
And so it can. 1t is from six to twenty
dollars worth of trimming that strikes
the pocket-book in a sore spot.-Norris-
torn Herald.
A YOUNG woman in Manchester, n.
H., shivered in a cold closet, with only a
night-dress on, for an hour the other
morning, while a painter grained the
closet door, She had been surprised, and
fled into Che closet as retreat.
A GENTLEMAN who has an unfortu-
nate habit of interrupting when others
are talking was brought up with a round
turn the other evening by victim, who
quietly said EGO ahead and tell your
story. You may forget it."-Boston
Transcript
HAVING heard that Murphy was cur
ing people of drunkenness, a venerable
lady from the old sot was recently heard
to remark: "Sure an Eve often heard
tell in Skihhcreen that bite of cowld
murphy was a good thing to kape away
the taste av it,
THERE was period Of over one thou
sand years in the history of this world
when doors had no keyholes, and citi-
zen could be seen feeling all over the
door without exciting the least suspi-
cion against his local standing. free
Press.
ALLUDING to the remark of critic,
that modern witticisms were "too far
fetched" Jud y innocently suggests that
there "may be a certain element of truth
in this remark when we bear in mind
how many smart sayings have come to
us from America"
QUITE THE CORRECT THING.-Scene,
(Blapham commonly Anglican Priest:
ave had not the pleasure of seeing
your ladyship at church on Sundayn
Lady Blank" Er-no-I was not pre-
sent, butt left my card with the church
warden" -Funny Folks.
A FRANK but ambitious Kentuckian
thus advertses in the local paper of his
town: "Being in close place, and de-
string to pay my debts, and believing
that the Office of assessor would assist me
in doing so, | have concluded to become
candidate"
A Son OF ADAM-Smart boy: "Here
we are, Uncle: But what does 'oug
may pas obleegy de consommy' mean?"
Uncle: ut means one is not obliged
to take anything if he doesn't like, "
Smart boy: "Ah, well. let us 60 to some
cafe where one is 'obleegy de consom.
my "-Pwnch.
WHEN new paper starts out with the
express purpose of filling ga long.felt
want" it fills it from one to foul
months, besides filling the editor with
disgust and his pocket book full of pat
ent medicine orders, and then fills {
space in the graveyard of defunct news
papers-Norr. Herald.
A NEW JERSEY mosquito was captur
ed in this vicinity, which, on being
opened, was found to contain a bras
button with an eagle on it. In the but
ton was found wad OF paper, which
proved to be an order from "Little Mac,
calling for reinforcemcnts.
A YOUNG man from the country Ell
tered the Office of Probate Judge Miller
this morning, and asked for a marriag
license, and the application was tillec
out by l.. W. King, who happened to b'
in the office at the time. Says the would
,, be Benedict to King: "Keep still abou
,, this, for ] don't want it to get in tn
: papers" "What difference will tina
make?" asked King. ooh, goot
DEAL" says the fellow. 81 haven
, asked the girl to have me yet, and if sh
should go back on me it would be al
awful joke on me- Youngstoacn Tn
r bune.-
Y TIMES must be hard in Ohio, judgin,
from the following, published in tn
: Sandusky CO., Register: :" Public sale
: / will offer for sale at public auction OF
e Thursday, the 4th day of April, at l
: O'Clock A. NJ, at my residence on Deca
a tur street, one cork leg, formerly til
S property of John Mulberry, and take,
Y for debt. NJ. Leitz." Possibly, how
ever, it is only Mr.. Leitz who is ambi
tious of advertising himself as " hard
editor.
"WHERE do potatoes come from?
asked little five-year-old. She wa
= told that they grew, and the process Q
= planting was explained. "But wher
did the first one come from?" she pei
y sisted. Her father said he didn't know
: Then she thought for few moments
q and then broke out with, Well, / sur
pose they had little teenty one first
) and then planted it.; don't you, papa?
l The child knows just a much about tn
) facts of evolution as the wisest.
In q barber shon discussion recentl