Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-04-08
AgritmltnraI department,
och EESE IT."
WITTY AND HUMOROUS ADDRESS TO
THE DAIRYMEN.

HOu0 uISeioudIy " duu onluoI-I III OHlOh VI
the La Crosse San, delivered the follow
ing learned and instructive address at
the recent meeting of the Wisconsin
State Dairymen's Association:
FelLoso Cream at aonistS: In calling
upon me, on this occasion, to enlighten
you upon subject that is dear to the
hearts of all Americans, you have got
the right man in the right place. 1t
makes me proud to come to my old home
and unfold truths that have been folded
since l can remember. 1t may be said
by scoffers, and 1t has been said to-day,
in my presence, tnat | didn't know
enough to milk a COW. | deny the allie
cation, and show me the alligator. If
any gentleman present has got cow
here with him, and can borrow a
clothes-wringer, | will show you whether
| can milk cow or not. Or, if there is
a cheese mine here handy, | will demon
strate that | can-ramnet
The manufacture of cheese and butter
has been among the earliest industries
Away back in the history of the world.
we find Adam and Eve conveying their
milk from the garden of Eden. in one
horse wagon to the cold spring cheese
factory. to be weighed in the balance.
Whatever may be said of Adam and
Eve to their discredit in the marketing
of the products of their orchard, it has
never been charged that they stopped at
the pump and put water in their milk
cans. Doubtless you all remember how
Cain killed his brother Abel because
Abel wouldn't let him do the churning.
We can picture Cain and Abel driving
muley cows up to the house from the
pasture in the southeast corner of the
garden, and Adam standing at the bars
with tin pail and three-legged stool.
smoking meerschaum pipe and singing
Hold the Fort for am Coming Through
the Rye" while Eve sat on the veran-
dab altering over her last years polon-
aise, and winking at the devil who stood
behind the milk house singing, 81 want
, to be an Angel" After Adam got
through milking he came up and saw
Eve blushing, and he said: MADAME
cheese it" and she chose it.
But to come down to the present day
l we find that cheese has become one o.
the most important branches of manu-
facture. 1t is next in Importance to thu
g silver interest. And, fellow cheese mon
gers, you are doing yourselves great in
II justice that you do not petition Congress
: to pass bill to remonetize cheese
+; There is more cheese raised in this coun
y try than there is silver, and it is NOR
valuable. Suppose you had not eaten
4 mouthful in twenty days, and you shoul
"a have placed on the table before you ST.
q stamped out of silver bullion on on
plate and So stamped out of cheese bul
n lion on another plate. Which would yo1
,. take first ? Though the face value q
- the nine cheese dollars would be 10 pc
;s cent. below the face value of the ten sill
.s yer dollars, you should take the chance
y of the cheese You could use it to bette
,e advantage in your business. Hence
h say cheese is more valuable than silver
and it should be made legal tender fo
all debts, public and private, excep
pew rent.
:, may be in advance of other eminen
- fnanciers, who have studied the currer
~ cy question, but l want to see the tim
~ come, and trust the day is not far di.
tant, when 4l2 IL grains of chees
:. shall be equal to dollar in Goldfish, an
= when the merry jingle of slices of chees
= shall be heard in every pocket. The
every cheese factory can make its ow
~ coin. money will be plenty, everybod
will be happy, and there never will
. war any more. 1t may be asked ho
this currency can be redeemed. woul
u, have an incontrovertible bond, made
lg limburger cheese, which is stronger an
h more durable. When this is done yc
IL can tell the rich man from the poor me-
ty by the smell of his money. Now-a-da
ne many of us do not even get a smell
'e- money, but in the good days which a
lis coming the gentle zephyr will watt to
m, the delicate violet and the able-bodi,
u; limburger, and We shall know tn
~ money is plenty.
The manufacture of cheese is blu:
Jul ness that poor man can engage in.
ol we'll as the rich man. say it witho
CTS fear of successful contradiction, and 81
it boldly. that poor man, with, sa
for two hundred cows, if he thoroughly u
st. derstands his business, can make me
as cheese than rich man who owns thu
RS. hundred oxen. This is susceptible
md demonstration. If my boy showed
ide desire to become statesman, won
it'll say to him: "Young man, get marie
i'm. buy a muley COW, and go to Sheboyg
I'd, county and start cheese factory
ing Speaking of cows, did it ever occur
the you, gentlemen, what saving it wou
out be if you should adopt muley COWS