The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1878-05-17
SIFTTNGS.

Man proposes but-he is not always ae
cepted.
Will the coming woman lecture? ask
a contemporary. If she marries she vii
-Aorrfs5o1gR Herald.
AGerman being informed that Ger
tain painting was by Bierstadt, inquired
"Who's beers dat ?o
Marry in haste and repent when she has
leisure to go to the opera with the MAI
you Dragged that you had cut out.
Man proposes, but women disposes q
him aud his projects, unless they suit hel
peculiar notions Of domestic economy.
A young lady rebukingly asked US:
(which is worse, to lace tight or to gel
tight ?" We give it up-we never laced
Just imagine forty million excited Eng
lishnen di5coursing wildly about 'tHal-
exander, the hemperor hof hall the Rus
SLAMS
Sammy, my son, how many weeks be-
long to the Year?n "Forty-six, sir. '.Why,
Sammy; how do you make that out p, The
other six are Lent.
"Hag-me-tightn is the name of the new
style ofjaeSet for ladies.
A Missouri paper is credited with sa.
ing that Mr.. Tilden's political career is at
an end, now that his wife has confessed.
Beginning again.-When a man is max
ing love to a widow he always feels as if
he had to begin where the other fellow
left off.
Casting about for a nice, convenient
name for the telephone, the Germans have
at last hit upon "Doppelstahibleehzun-
gensprecher."
When you walk over a newly carpeted
Hoor in your stocking feet you are more
convinced than ever oftbe uneonstitution-
atty Of the income taeks.
A Piute chief owns high silk hat, aud
is 50 careful Of it that, his hut being leaky,
he keeps it covered with skins in a hole
in the ground.
A pair of twins with different birthdays
recently arrived in Brockport, Mass, One
was born five minutes before aud the other
five minutes after midnight.
Speaking Of riddles, Mr.. JONES' said
- G r. - ktsss
difference between a bsefsteak and
shiagle.1 NO y then I'll brosl you a
shiagle hereafter every morning for break
fast instead Of beefsteak.n
A woman was offered a thousand pounds
If she would remain silent for two hours.
At the ead OF fifteen minutes she asked,
"Isn t the time nearly up p
An old maid in the West End lost a
favorite cat BY death, and she had his skin
stuffed for pilIoW-a new variety Of cat
er-pillar.-C CincinFati Saturday Night.
It was a Boston man who went home
early in the morning, and meeting the
sad and reproachful eyes Of his wife,
apologized: "dy darling, I think you'll
be sorry for this when you git shober.
The Detroit Free Press informs US that
that the mueilage on th postage stamps IS
made Of potatoes and peach brandy, and
that the more you lick it the more you will
like it.
A st. Joe editor had an article headed
aWhati Is it we drink :? and rival editor
went over to the nearest saloon and ascer-
tanned that twas usually clear corn juice.
Chicago Journal.
Women are not very proud of their an
cestry not nearly SO much as man. You
will find thousand men named Adam
where you will find one woman named af
ter her illustrious grandmother Ege.
In a concert in Milwaukee a new song,
entitled Always keep smile for mother.
was sung by woman who had rathei
hastily learned the tune, and to whom the
words were unfamiliar. Three sentimen
tai verses were given, and then reading
unsuspieiously from some jokers manu-
script copy she gave very tender express
ion to the following:
Always keep smile for mother,
D. not drain tle festive jug,
Leave enough somehow or other,
Just to moisten her o!d mug.
Touch it lightly, leave some hi
Just a swallow that's the style;
What you'd drink in half minute
i enough for mothers smile.
4 Shot IN lie DARK.