The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1878-04-17
: NO. 35.
HUM0ROSITIES.
-Washington couldn't tell lie

Washington couldn't tell q lie
when he saw it.
John Bull. please do one thing
nr the other--fght or hire hall.
In Wyoming the proportion of,
is about ten men to two !,
$50 s &
-"Beauty and booty" was the cry
Of the young man who kissed the !.
girl and was kicked By her father. .....,
William Treadway Evergne, Of
New Jersey, changed his name TO, I,
Hank Hogg for the sake Of legacy
of$5o0.
The Friendly Grasp is the pro- !
posed title Of new paper in Boston.
1t will, of course be printed on
hand-press. ..,.. ta h.
els this Alder Creek?" inquired
a tourist of an old man leaning over
a fence. "Yas, dis is all der creek ! !,
knows on" was the reply.
"a woman's stocking" says the
person Of the Sandusky Register who !
calls himsel moral editor, ''is the
hest thing in the world to put silver /,
in"
John Morrissey is recovering.
Death in this case appears to have
thrown up the sponge, The king Of
terrors must be a little out of train.
ing.
He came in cautiously and in
quired, "Can the cackling Of hens
properly be called hen-thusiasm2 p
We stop the press to say that he
sleeps sweetly, With his head still in
soak.
-"Come, don't be timid," said =
couple of foolish snobs. to two me-
chanics, "sit down and make your
selves our equals" "We'd have to
blow our brains out to do that" was
the reply.
"A base, ignoble brute says that
when he sees q woman neither fat
nor fair, but forty, with q cardinal
red plume on her hat, it suggests to
him a life and death struggle be !
tween nature and art, with arton top
by small majority .oaa ia i
--Tention bredderln! De Rev. Dam
Iiel Draper and de Rev: John Jasper
4 will bate the question whedder de
sun devolves roun' de earf or de earf
! aroun' de sun in de open field in
Richmond, virginny, nex' Sunday.
Hyar, 'hyar!
"A young man Of 20 recently took
to wife Pennsylvania widow Of SO,
the sole proprietress Of q couple Of
paying petroleum wells. Of him it
may truly be said that '.he loved not
wisely but too wells.''
"A poetess weighing 100 pounds
yearns to ''twitter as a bird on some
p T.. +
lone spray" When she gets on a
!. spray and begins to twitter, there is
going to be an item for the local pa.
per, unless the spray isas tLick as
an underground gaspipe.
Over a store 10 New York State
is this sign: "John Smith teacher
. Of cowtillions and other dances; gra
mer taut in the neetest manner;
fresh salt herrin on draft; likewise
!, Godfrey's cordial, rutes, sassage and
|other garden truck. N. B. A baw
! on friha mite; prayer meeting chues
. day; also saline singing by th'
= quire."
; The young woman who goe.
, late to church, to attract attention
as she scrapes down the aisle, is |.
}. foolish virgin. The young man VIII
\ plasters his hair down tight to- low
: retreatiug forehead, bridges HIS nos
with eyeglasses and wears q lou
d cane, when he comes late, strike
n attitudes at the door. and s,rides t
,e seat with the proud air Of priz
! mule at a coun.try fair. is snot
d "A Benton county man hid $50
J. 10 the spare room stove. The ne1
g. day his wife's mother came dow
St duri1g his absence for three week
IS visit, and that spare room was warn
= ed up for the first time in three hu,
,g dred years. They say you can pic
N up shreds Of that mans hair an
er clothes where he dubbed himse
be around the country when he hen,
IN of it, anywhere within ten miles
j the house. !.
" -Anecdote Of Che present Pop
in When he was nuncio at Brussels, i
er was invited to dinner party. wher
at q certain free-thinking marqu
20. undertook ia gibe and annoy bin