West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-11-16
The Linn street High School.
Breakfast Table

breakfast Tshle.'
Dar's gwine ter be pow'f sarchin'
inquiry 'naugursted roun' heah," said
Mr.. Copernicus, last Monday morning.
as he pulled of his gloves and raped
on the desk for books. " I'm maxim
some remarks, young 'uns, and | want
yer TO ho' de flaps O. yer yeahs i'm per
pendiculous persishion. Stop dat snick.
erin, Ben BlaCkinbox, ies'n I put a box
id five handles 'longsidc - dat sousc
meat on dc side O. yer head Now,
'Cordln' To all de Information which |
has obtained fun de preacher and one ~
dc deakuns, dar was n boy dat longs to
dis school, dat went TO de church Wis
tiddy, and stead O. list'nin' TO de preach.
in as de offspring ob spectacle parents
had orter to do, he 'ployed his time in
fiSin' a pin on dc bench in frunt ob him,
50 dat de pint would hol' itsef UP
straight, and wait fo' de report ob de
committy. An Mr.. Morefuss. de
preacher, say dat jes as he got in de
middle ob de fust hyme, fat woman
cum IN in Il considerable ob hurry an
drapped ersef on dat pin; an he says
dat she seemed To sortcr rise up like "A
stcambote 'splosion had TUX place ondcr
dc bench, an made sev'ral audible re-
marks not 'zactly in 'cordance wild de
sroundinCs, an which 'casioned con
siderbul of an upsturbance. Howsum-
dever onder all de circumstances oh de
affair, de ongodly words oh de sister
was passed ober, and de Deekin spoke TO
me dis mawnin' about il, and lowed as
how Id better pass "A resolution appintin'
mysef an investigator committy, wild
power to SEN fur pussons an papers,
an endeavor, ~ far as in my power lay.
to discover dc lump O. sin dat was de
'casion of all de trouble. DE mmitty
is now organized, an dc investigation
will commence.
" Bill Bosin, whar was you yisti ddy 2'
"Sor?"
" Whar was you yistiddy?'
"MeP'
Yes, you"
IL was out ter Cumminsvillc.
tishin' i'm de canal, and nebbpr caught
muffin but little mud-turkle, 'dout any
tail. And Bill begun TO leak out of
the eyes.
" Datll do; yer needn't to commence
to git mp 'er wet spell here i'm harvest
time. Turn dat book right side up. an
set down ON dat nail kag outer de way.
stan up, Jim ,lohnsing. Whar was you
yistiddyg'
went out to de baseball, an
pccped froo de cracks i'm de fence.
warn't Mt de church tall"
" All right" said Mr.. Copernicus, and
he smiled Just the least bit. Whar
was you, Tom Lukcns? You was at
chu'ch ?'
" No, stree, Bob; 'twasn't me put no
pm ON 'er seat, fIkin prove by Johnnie
Unison dat me an him went way out
ter Mr.. stones orchard and got sum ap-
pies; didn't we, Johunie2'
a" Yes, we did. an OF Stone like to got
us an licked us, an we hid frum him
in gallberry patch, and staid till mos
night"
" Datll do, boys, datll do. Here,
Joe Johnsing, run dis here sprout i'm de
hot ashes and kinder temper it, till git
off my coat and prepar' to rectifv some
op de morris oh dis heah gang. ! kinder
cotch up wild you, boys. jes made up
dat tale bout de woman an de pin, an
] foun' out all bout whar yer was yis-
tiddy. Bill was out ter Cumminsville,
1shin' in de canal on de Lords day, an
never cotch nuthin' but little turkle:
Jim Johnsing he went TO base ball, an
Iommie Lukens and Johnnie Unison
was ne pm, deyseis 70 MIR. Stones APP
pies, and like TO got cotch. All right,
boys, de testimony is all in, an de yer
diets made up. We will now purceed
TO pass de sentence ob outraged law"
And in about minute a sound like
iire-crackers on the Fourth Of July was
heard in the temple Of knowledge, and
a weeping, and wailing, and bowling
like menagerie in Thunderstorm
went out upon the surrounding atmos-
phere, until old Aunt Dinah, who lives
over the way leaned on her scrubbing-
brush and remarked, " Brudder co.
pernicus is 'trely too scvigerous when
he gifts started"