The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1878-02-20
Items of Interest.
A New York florist exhibits green

A man never uses his thumb.nall for
a screw-driver but once.
Texas editors clamor for the re-estab'
lishment of the NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. de-
linouent subscribers.
A recent poem has the following line:
ga tear danced in her eye" That tear
must have been at the eyebal.
Strawberries fade with the gentle spring,
The ice cream season passes
But after all stern winter brings,
The buckwheat cakes and lasses.
MORTGAGE is Latin word, and means
"death- grip" This is worth thinking
of when one wants to get hold OF your
house.
Customer-"Ha my goods been
sent home ?" Grocer (who has just laid
them on the scales)-"They are on the
weigh, SIR"
"Have the animals sense Of humora"
asks an owish exchange. Certainly
they have. You'll always find that jack
asses are ready to laugh immoderately
at the poorest Jokes.
The model husband has been found IN
Albany. He don't permit his wife to
do more than half the work. She puts
up the canned fruit in summer, and ne
puts it down in winter.
"I say, Jim, if five and half rods
make q perch, how many will make
pickerel 81 "Yeu just tell me, first, it
two hogsheads make a pipe. how many
will make meerschaum ?"
A little girl in Reading, Pa, who was
hit with SNOWFALL by q boy, promptly
tripped the offending youth up ana
rubbed his face vigorously in the snow,
and an admiring bystander, at the clsse,
gave her a silver half dollar.
It is when q dry goods clerk OF ninety
seven pounds weight attempts to help
from a wagon a farmers wife OF 2oo
pounds weight, that the reporter seats
himself contentedly on the curbstone'
and waits for the catastrophe. .-Ronae
Sentinel.
As my wife and at the window one day
Stood watching man with monkey.
A cart came by with q broth of boy
Who was driving q stout little donkey.
To my wife then spoke, by way OF 1oke,
'There'sa relation Of yours in that CARNAGE
10 which she replied, as the donkey she spleo
"Ah, yes, q relstion-by marriage"
Mrs. Dorset, of Minneapolis, has Just
been admitted to practice in all the
courts of the State of Minnesota. She
is the first woman ever admitted to the
bar in that State, the Legislature having
changed the law last winter with special
reference to this case.
One of the most elaborate depart
ments connected with the coming Paris
exhibition will, doubtless, be the Chinese
department. Immense space has been
reserved, upon which will be erected
payilions, bazars and cottages, built at
Wingpo, and transported to Paris In
sections.
The production Of gold in the United
States. anterior to 1858. footed up in
round numbers $3.50, 100000, of which
period the greatest production TOR one
year was SIS, 900, 900, in 1853. From
| 1858 to 1875 the aggregate production
was 1907, 700, 900, making the total yield
by the country, including 1875, $780,
100000.
New York State has reduced her
debt in the past year $12, 900, 900, having
he sinking funds with which to pay Oh
that amount when it fell due. Her
debt has steadily fallen from $52, ,OoO, 0OO
in 1866 to $40, ,O0O,00 now, and will be
entirely swept off within few years.
In the same time the debt of Massa-
chusetts has risen from $19, 1000, 600 to
s35, 500, ,00O.-Spr1ngfeld (Mass.) Re-
publican. -
VIM. Dooley, an amateur detective in
search of two cattle thieves, found them
at church at White Sulphur, KY,
whereupon, pistol in hand, he informed
preacher and congregation that they
were all under arrest. While everybody
looked astenished, he picked out his
men, marched them out of the building
at the muzzle of his weapon, and, turn
ing on the step, shouted to the minister
that he could go on with the beneolc-
ton.
A burning chimney, when the SCOT
has been lighted by a fire In the hre-
place, can be extinguished by shutting
all the doors in the room 80 as to pre-
vent any current of air up the chimney.
then, by throwing few handfuls OF
common fine salt upon the fire in the
crate or on the hearth, the fire in the
Chimney will be Immediately extln-
guished. The philosophy of this is that
in the process Of burning the salt mu
riatic acid is evolved, which is prompt
ex.:nguisher Of fires.
: THE CHILDREN.
All. what would the world be 20 us
II tho children were no more!
We should dread the desert behind us
Worse than the dark before.
What the leaves are to the forest
With light and air for food.
Ere their sweet aud tender Juices
Have been hardened into wood
That to the world, are children;
Through them it feels the glow
or brighter and SUMMER climate
Than reaches the trunks below.
-LonUeuo,o.
While the newspapers of the East are
describing the deeds OF men who wrestle
with bears, who dance for twelve con
; secutive hours, and who perform othe'
feats of skill and endurance, those o.
| the West chronicle the exploits or
more practical nature. Here is one
Weedam of Louisberg, Ky, who has
I husked one hundred and five bushels o.
3 corn in seven hours a Nevada hunter
| who has killed two hundred and seven
teen mountain deer and Il Pacific rail
wav engineer who hasn't missed tnE
since the road was opened-wlth the
! cordwood choppers and the musKfa
. catchers yet to be heard from.
The communists OF the animal worlo
:, are the ants, bees and such creatures
Thev live in communities, in which al
4 Iosssssions are in common, aud all wori
. for the general good. The reason O
l this is supposed to be that the majority
of the members are non-sexual, ana con
, seouently can have no stronger attrac
{ tion for one individual than another. A
the same time they have implanted II
chem an intense working instinct. IL II
obvious, then, that in the absence OF
! similar neuter order among mankind
any attempt to initiate ant society o.
q communism in human associations II
. futile and unnatural.
An Intelligent Horse.