The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-02-16
VARIETIES.

burlington, W., mas a twenty-five
pound cat.
The woman question 60 What shall
/ wear next?'
Sure way to turn peoples heads
Go late into church.
A man without an enemy is like
bread without yeast.
Young men should pattern after
pianos-be square, upright, grand.
The Turk is no longer " dreaming
of the hour" 1t has come.
Virginia Senators have reduced
their salaries from $40 to $3.50.
Our troops were supplied with
$177, 444.74 worth of tobacco last year.
To keep moths out of old clothes,
it is recommended to give the clothes
to the poor.
The Germans have given the APP
propriate name of Fern Sprecher to the
telephone.
-Barnum says he has sold since he
began business no less than $83, 000,0 900
worth of tickets.
The days of knighthood have passed
away, yet about every tramp you meet
is incased in coat of aims.
In accordance with his patriotic re-
quest, Virginia negro is to be hanged
on Washington's birthday.
Riches will never take wings and
fly away if you sprinkle a little economy
on its tail. Whitehall Times.
"A child thus defines gossip: Its
when nobody don't do nothing, and
somebody goes and tells of it"
They say that Dr. Mary Walker,
growing extravaganza, talks of trim
ming her pantaloons with old lace.
The dear-hunting season must have
fully set in. Every few days some
lover or other shoots his sweetheart.
The pufied-up egotist who says u
woman cannot do anything as well as a
man has never seen her pack trunk.
Many men who turned over new
leaves on the first of January act as if
they held their books upside down at the
time.
Mr.. and Mrs. James F. Adair, of
Marcelline, H., recently celebrated the
sixty-seventh anniversary of their mar
riage.
-" Reaching after the unattainable"
"A man feeling up under the back of
his vest for the end of parted sus-
pender.
New England maidens of business
like habits tack encouraging sentiments
like this over the parlor door: "Loafing
is not loving"
Remark by a drug clerk: Apothe-
carries are violent men. They get
madden quicker and oftener than any
body | know"
A tramp, on being asked if he had
an occupation, replied that he was a
Journeyman. He journeyed from one
town to another.
After the Selectmen of New Haven,
Conn, had paid a poor woman $549 in
town orders they discovered that she
had 81 200 in the bank.
Up to the present time there has
been a great deal of doubt as to whether
this winter was next spring or only last
Chicago Tribune.
"A young lady in Winneconne, Wis,
refused an offer of marriage on the
ground that her father was not able to
support larger family.
Tobacco was named in honor of it's
discoverer, o. G.. Cabot, brother of
Sebastian Cabot They Just spelled his
name backward. - Graphic.
-''Ma," said a little girl, "what is
all this fuss about trademarks? Is it
the trademarks that make so many
wrinkles in pas forehead?"
Its fact to be commented on that
your rubbers always get mixed up with
those of the rest of the household when
you are in the greatest hurry.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
iliogogo is one of the most contented par
ishes in Wales, but it sometimes COM
plains of our absurdly inadequate al
phabet.
After the first declaration This
is, perhaps, not the first mitten you
have received, Mr.. Brown?' but
perhaps the first you have ever given,
Miss Smith,
Six hours of hard work at stone
breaking, with only two slices of bread,
a bit of bologna and cup of water,
await every luckless tramp who strays
into Syracuse, N. Y.
"A mail-carrier at Springfield, Mo,
has been driven hopelessly crazy by
some thoughtless :" friends, who jest
ingly charged him with stealing pack
age of mail matter.
If you put two persons in the same
bedroom, one of whom has the tooth
ache, while the other is in love, you will
find that the person who has the tooth
ache will go to sleep first
Says the Worcester Press: " Human
jaws sells for two dollars apiece at the
seat of war in Bulgaria, and yet the
American people pay $50 year and
mileage to their Congressman.
Mrs. Hayes doesn't wear low necks,
even for full dress.-Star. She wouldn't
be full dressed if she .-NorriSt0oC1a
Herald. We think she would be fool
dressed if she did.-N y NeaCS.
The difference between noted men
and noted women is said to be that the
men always like to see themselves in
print, and the women prefer to see
themselves in silks and velvets.
Hawthorne said that manual la
Dor was part of the primeyal curse, and
that it brutified whoever had to do with
it." Now we know why the American