Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1878-12-04

lished, entitled Il Book Of Btunders. 1t Is a
republication of a series of papers and letters
sent to the Glasgow Herald, and well repays
perusal. We give few extracts from it.
As specimens of typographical errors, there
are among others the following: By the IN
sertion OF one letter in place of another,
newspaper, not long since, reporting the dam
ger that an express-train had run, in conse
quence of a cow getting upon the line, said:
Gas the safest way, the engineer put on full
steam, dashed up against the COW, and liter
ally cut 1t into cdlUes!" A Scotch newspa-
per, reporting the speeches at a Scott CEN
| tenary meetiL g, made one CT the orators ex-
claim with more truth than accuracy:
80 Caledonia, stern and wild,
Wet-nurse for poetic child"
Never perhaps, was the word "austere"
more msconstrued than in the instance of
clergyman in Lancashire, who got whole
some warning in regard to pulpit articula-
| ton, by discovering in one house which he
visited the day after preaching from Luke
xix. 81, that the servant had gone home with
the impression that his text had been, 81
| feared thee, because thou art an oyster
man. A Hampshire incumbent recently re-
ported in the Pull Mall Gazette some of the
bldnders he had heard made in the marriage
| service, by that class of persons who have to
| pick up the words as best they can, from
hearing them repeated by others. de said
| that in his own parish it was quite the
to say to the woman: with my body
| thee wash up, and with all my hurdle goods
| | thee and thou" He said the women were
generally better up in this part of the SER
vice than the men. One day, however,
bride startled HIM by promising, in what she
! supposed to be the language of the prayer
book, to take her husband: "To ave and to
old from this day fortni't TO betierer horse,
for richerer power, in slgGerness ht alth, to love
| cherries, and to bay" What meaning this
extraordinary VOW conveyed to her own
mind, the incumbent said it baffied him to
| conjecture.
The stories told of the bunders made by
Oxford and Cambridge undergraduates in
! the scripture examination, are almost incred-
| lble. One of these, when asked who was the
| first king of Israel, was so fortunate as to
| stumble upon the name of Saul. He saw
that he had hit the mark. and wishing to
| show the examiners how Intimate his know
edge of the scriptures was, added confiden-
TALLY: saul, also called Paul" Another was
asked to give the parable of the good Samar-
itan. He did so with tolerable accuracy till
he came to the place where the Samaritan
says to the inn keeper; when come again
| | will repay thee" Here the unlucky ex-
aminer added: This he said, knowing that
he should see his face no more!"
| A ludlcrous story is told of a bailie, whose
studies in natural history seem to have been
rather limited. The following case came be-
fore him one day: "a man who kept ferret,
having to go into the country, left the cage
with the ferret In charge of a neighbor till he
should return. The neighbor incautiously
opened the cage door and the ferret escaped.
| The owner was very angry, and bought a
claim against the neighbor for damages.
The following was the decision of the learned
bailie: Nae doot, he said to the man who
open the cage door, but he added, turning
to the other, 'Ye was wraug, too. For why
did ye no clip the brutes wIngs?'"
1t is also told of a certain Glasgow baille
that, when visiting Paris az one of deputa-
ton from Glasgow to Louis Philippe, the
king said, when showing the party through
his library, where he had many of the
very wellP' 80 bless you, yes; bless you
yes, said the bailie cheerfplly, delighted
that something had been mentioned that he
| did know. Yes, your majesty, | know
Milton very well " Milton is little place in
| the neighborhood OF Gasgowli we're just
building slaughter there
An amusing style of blunder is the bull, "
for which the Irish get most credit. 1t was
an Irish editor that exclaimed, when speak
ing of the wrongs of his country: "Her
! cup of misery has been oVerflowing, and is
not yet full," 1t was an Irish newspaper
that said of Robespierre, that /" he left no
children behind him, except brother, who
who was killed at the same time" Irish,
also, was the cornet who, when writing home
! climate IS really enc OF the best under the
| sun, added: But a lot of young fellows
come out here, and they drink, and they eat,
and they eat and they drink, and they die;
and then they write home to their friends,
saying it was the climate that did it,"
Though not so numerous as those of the
Emerald Isle, Scotland Is not without its
specimens of this kind of blunder. Two
operatives in one of the border towns were
heard disputing about a new cemetery, be-
side the railing of which they were standing.
One of them, evidently dishking the conti-
mental fashion in which it was being laid out,
said in disgust:
I'D rather dee then be buried in sic
place" IS Weel, it's the vera reverse WI
me-" said the other; for I'll be buried
naewhere else, if I'm spared"
A story of Dean Ramsay's il gwen of
half-crapked nan in the parish kirk of "Auld
Ayr, = who got his head in between the IRON
rails in front of seat, and startled the con-
gregation by crying out IN the middle of the
sermon; . Murder, murder! nv head IL haze
80 be cuttit aft. Holy minister! Q my head
mauu be cutht aft. Its Judgment for leaving
my cody Mr.. Peebles ibis former MINISTRY
at the Newton" When he had been extrl
Gated and quoted, and was asked why he
put his head there, he said: q" 1t was JUST to
look on WI another tcOnlan ~
Among the instances of blunders from
absence OF mind are the following: 4 clergy
man walking one a:y n toe country, fell INTO
thought. be was so accustomed to ride that,
when he found himself at toll, he stopped
and shouted to the man; Here whats to
paya" ~
PAY for whatf' asked the man.
FOR my horse, said the Clergyman.
''What horsep There's no horse, sir!'
"Bless me" exclaimed the clergyman, look
ing, down between his legs, Il thought was
on horseback"
minded: but he says that once, when calling
IN & friend IN London, and being asked by
the servant: "Who shall say has called?"
he could not for the life of him recollect his
own name, and stared in blank confusion at
the man for some time, before it came hack
to him.
The first Lord I,ytiieton WAS very absent,
y1lnaea. 1t Is declared of him that when
he fell into the river by the upsettiDg
Of a boat at Hagley, he sank twice
before he recolIected that he could
swim. A New York paper gives the
following story III illustration of the absent
mlndedness of the great Jonathan Edwards.
When out riding one day, little boy very
respectfully bowed and opened gate for
him. ''Whose boy are you, my little man ?"
he asked, Noah Olark's boy, sir, was the
answer. On the return of Edwards the same
boy appeared and opened the gate for him.
He thanked the little fellow, and again asked,
Whose 10y are you2" ''Noah Clark's, sir;
the same mans boy was quarter of an
hour ago, sir. ;"
Some blunders arse from misapprehension.
4 bishop of Oxford sent round to the church.
wardens in his diocese a circular of inquiries,
including the question: docs your officiat-
ing clergyman preach the goapel, and is his
conversation aad carriage consistent there:
q
replied: .'He breaches the gospel. but does
not keep carriage"