Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1878-03-28
HUMOROUS.

Song of the Cincinnatian-Eo,d -.
pork, fry ham coming. 'Ao
Even in times of peace a sola,a. ,,
to be pay-rolled.
General Uneasiness is COMMANDING RI.
situation in France.
The most conservative newspapers tol-
crate aliberal-advertiser
"a Sweet pension-agent, is the wayit
reads without punctuation marks.
New publications-Bat on the Eve.
companion to Watts on the Mind.
Prisoners are the chaps who most earn
estly long for real-ease-y times.
China invited Russia to evacuate Kuld-
scha unless she Knldscha some good rea-
son for remaining.
Queen Victoria gives Indian shawls to
brides she likes. That is better than not
giving them a wrap.
In HaytI Tanis, at the head of 900
men attacks the arsenal at Port-au-Prince.
Black-and-Tan-is better name for him.
When is the best time to read the book
of nature? When Autumn is turning the
leaves.
.sI'm yard wide and all wool" is the
Kentucky way of describing high state
of hilarity.
Fools and their money soon part. It's
worth while being fool to have money
to part from.
A dairyman wishes to sell good milk
route, leading from the stable to the
pump.
An absent-minded Wisconsian threw
his watch into the CRATE and placed his
half-smOked cigar under the pillow.
The horn of the hunter is no longer
heard on the hill. 1t is carried in a pocket
flask.
fellow who wanted to be married
asked the preacher to ''carry the moose tO
Mary
An Irishman, playing at cards, and
finding the pool deficient, exclaimed,
''Here's shilling short. Who put it INF"
Everybody, says an exchange, "likes
radishes in Japan.'' Its mistake. We
don't for one. We like ours here.
The woman who carries pins in her
bosom is supposed to be half-sister to
the man who didn't know it was loaded
Ihave known whisky to make man
generous, but when he got sober again he
would get square with himself by being
meaner than ever.
Six thousand dogs have been laid out In
Chicago during the last three months,yst
no stranger need walk half a block In
that city to get bite.
"Step inside, sir,'' said a conductor to
a gentleman upon crowded car the other
evening. "I'll be jammed if do,'' was
the emphatic response.
We are told that the smallest hair
throws a shadow. And so it does. It
throws a shadow over your appetite when
you find it in the victuals,
The Buffalo Express replies to the
Pittsburg Telegraph's inquiry, ''Can two
constitute riot?" by saying, ''Not unless
they happen to be married.
Appropos of an English lady being
killed riding after the hounds, it may .be
remarked that it is much pleasanter to see
lady making supper rolls than hunting
field rolls.
Chicago revenue officers are beginning
to complain of their inability to tell by
the aroma whether a house contains an
Illicit still or a sleeping Alderman
Brooklyn argus.
A score of full-born Americans will
move three wagon-loads of lumber to un-
cover poor rat, where a cash offer of
fifty cents each would have no effect
Free Press.
Persons contributing spring poetry will
be required to hand in the names of the
friends whom they have selected as pail
bearers-not for publication but as evil
dence of good faith Worcester Press.
It bothers a good many people to tell
whether the landscape painter has degen-
Grated, or the chrome printer reached the
climax of art. About all the difference
there is is in the price.-Free Press
Gas amber attracts straw, so does
beauty attract admiration Quite true;
but the strains of brass band will pull
sick woman out of bed, and take the GEN.
sus of all the children on a street before
the base drummer strikes his first rest
BREAKFAST Table.
But, Paul, how can the spirit be in us,
and we in the spirit, at the same timer
said young man to venerable darkey-
'Oh, dar's no puzzle bout that. Its like
that poker; 1 puts it in the fire, and 1t
gets red. hot. Now, de poker's in de fire,
an de fires in the poker