Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1878-04-12
II ~ !!

A JOKE THAT MISSED FIRE.-Cooley's
oldest boy is little too fond OF playing
practical Jokes. The other evening he
went up into the third story back room. in
which the hired man sleeps, and. fixing
stout piece of Irvine to the bed-clothes, ran
it down stairs into his own room, with the
intent to remove the covers from the hired
man as. soon as that individual got into
bed. The Cooleys had Just taken down
their winter stoves, and had the parlor
stove standing temporarily at the head of
the third story stairs. The man discover
ed the string just as he was retiring, and,
comprehending the motive of the intended
trick, he quietly united it, and fastened it
to the stove. The boy had gone 10 bed and
forgotten about the string. About ter
O'Clock Mr.. Cooley, who was up stairs get
ting apples in the garrett, caught his foot
in the string as he was coming down the
steps.
He fell, and pulled the stove after him,
and the next moment Cooley, a pan OF
apples, and about forty pieces of stove,
stovepipe, CRATES, and brick lining, were
rafting down stairs, with noise like
volley of musketry. AS Cooley lay on the
landing with pile of apples and cast irol
beaped upon him, Mrs. Cooley, and the
boy and the servants came rushing out to
ascertain what on earth was the matter.
As they approached, Cooley said:
Terrible, wasn't it? Aw!ullest earth
quake we ever had in this country
''Was there a real earthquake?" asked
Mrs. Cooley. 81 didn't feel it shake
ssDidn't feel il J" exclaimed Cooley,
taking a stove-leg out of his shirt coll.i
and brushing the SCOT from his clothes
"Didn't feel it? Why, my gracious Til.
house rocked like cradle. l expected she'd
go clear over every minute. It's the wors,
shock ever fell. Sent me skipping down
stairs with things rafting after me till
thought the roof had bursted in. There's
something queer about these natural con-
vulsions. The scientific men say that the
shake always moves kinder i'll waves from
east to west, so that if it comes from
hello what's this?" exclaimed Looley, dis
covering the Irvine wrapped around his
leg. ''Who tied that string to that there
stove?''
AS he looked around inquiringly, he OBJ
served his oldest son suddenly mount upon
the banister and glide swiftly down to the
first floor, where he stood wal ing for an
offensive movement on the part of his
father. Then Cooley leaned over the rail
ing, and, shaking his list at him, said:
You wicked little scoundrel! If you
amt candidate for the gallows I'm no
judge. You come up here and go to bed
aud Tomorrow morning iii tan your hide
for you with bed-slat? You mind me?
Ill give you enough earthquake to make
you dance from here 10 the equator, you
tow-headed outcast !"
Then the family went to bed, and the
boy crept softly up The kit, hen stairs,
thinking there was not much fun in such
jokes anyhow.
THE TRUE INWARDNEss OF THE MULE.
ii hear Miss Sally readin' dis morDin
bout man wat got his face smashed wild
a MULE said Uncle Remus yesterday.
II disremember de name, but de paper sed
de mule come mighty nigh gittin' in his
bes' licks.''
''Cadle is the mans name.''
Oats de identikil name. | tole Miss
Sally den dat speck he was wife mai.
an mules sump'n a niger amt got no
biZness foolin' longer, let lone wife man.
W'ite man larn jogserfY, en- rethmetik. tn
all dat, but faint in de co'se er mater fer
i'm fer ter larn der mule. An it's mighty
few niggers that gets mule by heart On
Marster Johns place, in Putmon county,
ploughed a grey mule mighty nigh six
year, an at de ve'y las minnit she fetched
out her hine foot an picked brass breas'-
pin often my cloze. An yit had my eye
peeled fer dat mule eIdurin Ell de Whole
blessed time. Nudder time wuz sorter
STRICKEN wild de pl'u'sy, en- smart Elleck
niger got hotter my mule. He put de
gear on or en- lipt on to Ter back fer to ride
ter de new groun'. He didn't git outeu
de lot gate"
why not? What was the matter?''
fYou ak Mars John, en- he'll tell you dat
right den an dar he los' SEWN hunderd-
dollar niggar."
"How was that?"
''De ex bishun waz mighty private, ItelI
you. Dere wuzzent no great to do. HI.
wuz jes7 fo' day in de mornin'. De over
seer, he WIZ stannin' at the gate watchin'
de hans pass, en- he say he hear a little
noise in de lot like unto somebody scuf-
fin an a scramblin.' Wen he went for
ter zammin inter de racket he foun' de
smart ElIeck 1 wuz tellin' you bout
dubbed up under de troff, mixed up wild
de britchin', an trace chain wropped all
'roun' 'im."
A'Where was the mule?"
s.Oh. de mule! De mule w fas' asleep.
She done gone and forgot all 'bouG de
.musement. 'Peared like it might er hap
pened de year befo' fer all she know'd
bout it,
Was the cOlOred man really dead?"
Oats wat dey said, and he haint never
:sputed it ylt, do OATS on mOre'n thirty
year ago, Don't tell NE! / knows bout
desc mules. Wife folks better keep onten
dere way. an eff a nj yger amt mighty p. >
lite in lis movements dey'ii ketch him. I'm
,er talkin' gospil now"
The other day father gently said.
4sDen't stuff victuals into your mou; h
that way. my son; Oliver Cromw well didn t
eat after ki,at fashion, The boy. after
rendering Coz while, remarked to him.
self. And L DON believe Oliver Crom-
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