The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1878-11-28


the woman blonde Or brunette.
Moses must be mistaken. But, bless
your souls! you've got to believe the
rib story if you want to be saved.
just think of the Judgment Day,
whenever that is. Here's a man says,
Il don't believe all this rib business.
He dies, and goes up to the judgment
seat. The Prosecuting Attorney of
Heaven examines him.
where do you come from?'
sThe earth.'
what did you do there?'
'Well, sir, 1 loved my wife and my
children. 1 made home happy for
them. never cheated a fellow NOR
tai out of cent, but left my family a
moderate fortune earned by honest
labor, and owed no one cent
But how about the rib story. Do
you believe that?'
sWell, no; to tell the truth 1 never
could quite believe the rib story
'To He'll with himl Next. Where
do you come frsm?'
Earth
sWhat did you do there2'
Il was cashier OF a Savings Bank
'Did you ever do any thing wrong p
Well, yes, to speak truly, l didrun
away with $lOO.OOO and my neighbor's
wife, but
do you believe the rib story?'
ooh, yes and do you know I often
wished it had been twice as hard to
believe, so that my faith might have
Deen tested the more
Give him harp
may be damned, but never can
swallow that rib Of Adam's.'
A SNAKE.
Well, let's proceed. Moses says the
Lord placed Adam and Eve in a gar
den, and gave them permission to eat
of all the fruit except the fruit of the
Tree of Good and EVIL. But one day
a shake crept in through the cracks in
the fence somehow and tempted Eve.
The poor woman was not to blame.
Here she was, only day old, and
knew nothing about the earth. She
had never heard of a snake before, and
wasn't surprised to see 1t get right up
and talk to her. Therefore, it wasn't
hard to be persuaded, and she ate and
tell. And God came walking in the
Garden in the cool of the evening. 1t
was too hot for Him in the middle of
the day, suppose. For this disobe-
dience God drove Adam and Eve out
of the Garden and cursed them. With
what2 Why, cursed them with labor.
1 don't believe labor is q curse. On
the contrary, assert that honest Ia
Dor, with love and purpose in it, is
the blessing of life in its truest sense.
But Moses says God cursed Adam and
Eve with labor. Moses was mistaken,
that's all.
THE GARDEN.
What 1 want to know lie, what be-
came of the Garden of Eden? Where
is it? Where was it2 We are told that
four rivers found their source in this
garden, and flowed to the four quar-
ters of the world. No such rivers
have ever been found, though every
foot of the earth, except close around
the Poles, have been explored by ad-
venturous souls since then. Where is
that Tree of Life which heavenly cher
ubim or policemen guarded with fam
ing swords? If Heavens policemen
are after the style of modern police
men, the tree may have been carried
off.
THE FLOOD.
Well, after time the world became
populated, but the people were very
bad. Adam and Eve and Gains ma
lures had gotten out among them all
like leaven in batch of dough. Some
thing must be done. God had lost
control of his creatures. Couldn't do
any thing with them. He seemed to
have lost His grip, and the sons of
God came down to earth, and also be-
came bad. He couldn't ever keep his
boys at home. Well, this must be
stopped. God made up his mind that
his children we're 80 very bad the best
thing he could do was to kill them.
So he drowned all but one. Deliber-
ately drowned them-all but one we
are told. That one was
NOAH,
An old bachelor of five hundred sum-
Mers. Now, if I'd been God I'd have
drowned Noah the first of all, for q
man who lives q bachelor for five hum
dred years deserves to be drowned.
But, somehow, Noah was favored and
told all about the flood that was COM
ing. God related all his plans for the
big drowning, and told Noah he want
ed him to take charge ofe menagerie
which He was planning for the pur-
pose of saving seed. And Noah set
to work building an ark, which was
about five hundred feet long, thirty
feet wide and fifty feet high. This
ark had one door and one window,
for if there was any thing Noah liked
it was plenty of fresh air. Moses said
it took Noah ITO years to build the
ark, though have sometimes thought
Moses was mistaken in the time. 1t
strikes me that some of the timber
must have been rather rotten before
the last coat of paint was put on. Well,
after the ark had been finished Noah
went to work collecting his animals
and things. First there were fifteen
thousand kinds of birds to gather up.
Then there were some five thousand
insects to catch, and animals and fishes
and mammals accordingly. The polar
down to this tropical country especl-