The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1878-08-11
nrOpOsnls of Marriage.


II does not require n formal asking Of the
momentous question to constitute an offer
Of marriage Probably the majority Of
SWANS do not say in 80 many words will
you be my wife ?" the sweet pact between
The lovers is often made more in the lam
guage Of IN" eyes and of the actions than IN
that Of artlculate speech.
The moment Is fitting. the surroundings
are suspicious. and the hearts Of the pair
beat In unison as their glanccs meet. when
NIL at once they stand revealed TO one
another ~ lover and beloved. They have
no need to ask questions nj that time IL su-
preme elevation. for they know ali they
wish to know without such inquiries. and
spoken words or words which had been pre-
mcditated would seem out Of time, harsh.
coarse. grating, and utterly inadequate To
express the delicious tumult oi their souls
Tho man luay have spent days and nights
beforehand in constructing and polishing
NJ handsome declaration vet when Che
hour comes it strikes him uncxpcctcd-
ly, and he either etammcrs out words
which would Ice mintclligille to any
other bearer than his fair companion or he
only looks what he has To say and gets his
answer in al aVcrted and blu-hing face
timd glance, or a soft pressure of the hand
Aftor it is all done he cares not u whit about
The ways through which the happy end was
reached ho has won, and that is enough.
or course there is such thing as a for
NAL proposal Of marriage, and there are
men who make 1t with all the dclibcration
they would us, If they were transacting any
other important piece If business. But such
tlgUuh fHaV m Ia v.4ts as Ia
Individuals, aud deserve the best wives to
be had. do not make the sort Of lovers viii h
most women prefer little precipitation
even degree Of audacity. and manifest
determination TO succeed by mere force 81
will, are usually more apt t. conquer than
studied argument. II cannot he denied
however. that a cool head IS oftcntlmes a
great help to a lover at the moment of offer
ing himself but he must take care not to
exhibit his -clf-poise too con-picuously, and
must approach the great subject with
manner Of humility, rather than that Of
man who is merely concluding n bargai he
can easily make OF which has been openly
offered him.
But, however people may become engaged
they are pretty sure after the troth ha- hccn
plighted 10 get frequent assurances from
one another Of undymg devotion, and so 10
have no doubt left in their minds about the
Tact. The engagement ring, too settles that
business finally. and both the pair should
be ready to let the botrothal be Mt once
made known 10 all who have a right to hear
of it, II is better for them both that they
should 50 act, for secret engagements are
usually silly on dangerous; and IL Is a very
grave matter for man to ask n woman to
be his wife, not thing for any one 10 do
Tor mere pastimc, without thought OF the
consequences. Moreover, the proper thing
Tor an honorable lover who j. fairly treated
by the girls family, is to ask the old gentle
mans permission TO be received rs his fu-
lure son-in-law, and then to make himself
generally agreeable in the household II Is
y great mistake 10 Ignore the rights aud
feelings OF tn" parents in such matter, for
their i'll will may defeat the purposes Of the
engagement and cause the girl much agony
Neither must the lover grow impat iont when
the father pushes inquiries A. 10 his matc-
rial condition aud business prospects. lie
must make clean breast oi his Affairs, and
not excite suspicion by anything that
approaches duplicity The old gentleman
has right to know all about him, and he
Isn't fit to marry the girl unless he il willing
to tell thc whole story. Mysterious beings
may make very romantic swains but they
almost invariably turn out shabby nus
bands. Therefore the prosaic questions Of
her father are Of tho greatest value to the
girl VINO may have boon dupcd by fraud
1t happens often, too that the quiet
course of friendship between bachelor
and maiden Will at lcugth run into love.
The trouble about affection SO reached. how
ever, is that it may hc felt by one Of them
and not 10y the other, and In most such
eases the woman is tho sufferer The WOE
man waits in vain for the proposal She ok.
poets and to which she f., ready to give
favorable answer and at last sho find, she
has no exchange in kind for her affection.
md perhaps has to trcmblc at the webbing
L! the lrrc-pou7Nc man to another.
This is a bad business, and girls should
avoid getting into such oniauglrmcnts, and
men should not lead them into them. il IS
mean thlng for fellow to pay marked
attentions L. a grl and wantonly tantalizo
her with doubts as to whethor they express
love on not, Yet the woman is often enough
the chief ono to blame in such affairs. for
She encourages the attentions in the hope
Of stimulating the tender passion in the
man. Then if she fails, She has no right to
lind fault with him. The fish didn't bite
that Is all.
A young lady asks our advice about what
-he shall do with young man who fails to
speak up, though rs has had plenty Of OPP
Poitunltlcs 20 exercise his speech, and pre-
IumaQly would &c! an Affirmative alsYey II