Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-11-14

run III the pasture, but every autumn
night should find them comfortably
bedded and fed in the stable. Ingrati-
tude to our fellow men is Justly con-
sldered an odious vice, but is there not
often strong faint of it also in the
treatment of these noble animals, to
whose faithful help in all kinds of
drudgery farmers are deeply indebted
for full barns and comfortable homes ~
Humorous.
The lap of luxury-a cat eating
cream.
The man who has persistently closed
the door all summer now leaves it wide
open.-BostOn Transcript.
Tanning ones self IL like chewing
gum-the more w do it, the more yu
want to.
A Colorado girl, Miss Eunice Stone,
always kisses the editor she visits. OH
Eu-nice Stone.
A man who is intimate on short &C
quaintance is usually "short" on in
innate acquaintance.-BOSon Globe.
Natural When a boarder,
SIX months in arrears, helps himself to
beets.- Stamford Adrocate
Doomed for a certain time to walk
the night. The bed-bug in search of
Observation-Disclosures Chronicle.
Straddling Blind-This phrase prob
ably refers to equestrian exercise on a
sightess horse.-BOstOn Transcript.
Consistency, thou art Jewell" as
the office boy said when he got the
paste the right thickness Boston Tran
script.
Hungry traveler-"First of all. have
you sole? ?" Irish landlady-''A sowl.
is it? Now, do l look like a haste ?"-
Fan.
1t is said of a successful writer
whose verbal promises are very poor:
ellis pen is mightier than his word. -
Brooklyn Union Argus
Mr. Edison is wonderful man. but
we can never believe that mere case
of neuralgia resulted in twelve-pound
boy.-Bu6aIo Erpress.
A patent medicine advertiser saws fat
Is not conducive to long life. That is
SO. A fat hog rarely lives through the
winter.-1airner's Fails Reporter.
There wouldn't have been any milk
IN the cocoanut if some of our dairy
men had the construction of it.-G1s-
ci'anoh Saturday Night.
Hubism us assuredlv intuitive. A
little Beacon street year-old asked his
aunt If she thought he could be as hap
by IN heaven as in Boston.
The wise man placeth the stock of
his gun to his shoulder before he freth,
but the fool looketh down the barrel to
see the ball start.-RODae Sentinel.
She was boss of charity committee,
and naturally took a calico quilt and a
secondhand saucepan to family that
hadn't tasted food for three days.
Are you ready to die?" asks a tract
sent to this Office. No, not yet; we
want to see how Ben. Butler makes it
down in Massachusetts, this fall.-Mas,
SiAon Ohio) Independent.
eve don't know everything" re-
marked the professor, "and we don't
find many that claim to, except now
and then one or two in the sophomore
class"
Scattering person crushing to little
Todger, who has just proposed, and is
waiting for her answer: Was you the
gent, sir, as the steward said was took
bad?"
eyes," said lawyer who was de-
Tending murderer, " the prisoner at
the bar will prove an alibi. Gentlemen,
we shall prove that the murdered man
wasn't there"
Autumn poetry and opinions of emf
nent persons concerning yellow fever,
its probable cause and certain cure,
should be handed in before snow comes
ifintended for publication.-NeW Orleans
Picay.cae.
Parson (sternly)-"How could you
come to church to be married to a man
in such state as that?' Bride weep
ing)-"It was not my fault, sir. | never
can get him to come when he's sober!'
Punch.
A painters apprentice fell off scat
fold with a pot Of paint in each hand.
He was taken up insensible, but as soon
as he was restored to consciousness he
murmured: II went down with flying
colors, anyhow"
"What does transatlantic mean,
mammal" ''Across the Atlantic, child.
Hold your tongue, and ask no more
questions" "Then does transparent
mean a cross mammal" HAS to for
felt her slate, and stand in the corner. J