The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1878-12-13
DOMESTIC DIPLOMACY.
HOW JONES SECURED THE RESPECT OF
MRS. JONES. ..-...
VicEsburg Herald.

VicKsburg Herald.
Mrs. Jones was standing in her back
yard feeding the chickens, when Stonewall
Jackson came running in, crying as though
his heart would break, and told her that
Bill Brown had slapped him for nothing.
Mrs. Jones never said word, but she grit
her teeth hard and went into the house to
cat cabbage, and chopped it SO fine think
ing it was Bill Browns head, that you
might have sifted it through cobweb.
While Jones sat eating his dinner that
evening, Mrs. Jones told him of the outrage
that had been committed, and asked him
what he was going to do about it. Jones
pondered. Bill Brown was fully twenty
one years old, shining light in the fire
department, pitcher in base ball club,
and had the reputation of being ga good
man." After considering these things
carefully, Jones came to the conclusion
that the best course to pursue was to treat
Brown with silent contempt, and so he told
his wife, adding by way OF parenthesis,
"My dear, such cattle are beneath our no
tlce."
"All right, Mr. JONES'" said Mrs. Jones;
"if you are not man enough to protect
your family, thank God, I've got broth
err and she swept from the room with
a look that Jones knew only too well. He
had seen that look on his wife's face once
before, when he brought a friend home to
dinner on washing day, and he knew it
meant war. There was no help for it; it
flashes upon Jones with the swiftness of
lightning; there would be no peace in the
Jones family until the insult of the morn
ing had been wiped out with blood.
That night the boys were all sitting in
neighboring beer saloon, and its genial
proprietor was telling them what he would
do if he got the nomination for Alderman.
This gentleman, whom we will call Mike,
because that was not his name, was an ex-
prize fighter, could barely write his name,
and was in many other respects especially
qualified for an alderman. He kept good
beer and offered it with that lavish liberal
ity and recklessness for which Vicksburg
candidates are famous. Jones came in,
took his pro rata of beer, and sat himself
down to mediate upon the Brown affair.
At last happy idea seemed to strike him !;
he called for another shoo-ny," and sat
down and rubbed his hands and slapped
his knees in gleeful anticipation.
At last he said to Mike, with careless
air, Mike, is Bill Brown one of your sup
polters? ?"
You can just bet your muckymuck on
that" said Mike "that's boy do stand
solid with
"That's strange" said Jones.
What's strange ?" said Mike, with that
uneasy, suspicious air, SO common among
candidates.
''Oh, nothing" said Jones, mysterious
ly; Il don't think ought to tell.''
"Jones," said Mike solemnly, "lf you
are friend of mine you'll ts!l."
"Well, WILL" said Jones, ''out you
must keep it confidential"
Gall right; 60 ahead" said Mike anx-
iously.
" WE'LL" said Jones, 81 just came from
the Centennial bar room, and heard Brown
say that you didn't know your head from
shotgun that he caught you one day read
ing newspaper upside down; that he'
sooner vote for the lowest down Niger in
the ward than vote for you, and that if y ou
were elected city scrip would 60 down five
cents on the dollar, and the taxes would go
up so high you couldn't reach them with
balloon"
Mike put on his hat and coat and made a
bee line for the Centennial bar room.
Jones went home and sat down on the
front gallery, smoking his cigar with that
peace of mind which only one can know
whose bosom is distended with the proud
consciousness of having done a good ac-
ton.
About half an hour afterward he said to
his wife, who was sitting inside (:
ss Mrs. Jeaes, aen't think BIZ BIZ RB&eFFa Brown
will hit our boy any more"
"Why?"
"Come and see e''
Mrs. Jones stepped to the window and
looked out. They were bringing Brown
home on a shutter, with both of his eyes
bunged up and his nose dripping blood at
every pore.
Mrs. Jones turned to her husband and |
said:
"Darling, can you forgive me P"
Jones drew himself up haughtily and re-
piled, with withering sarcasm:
Mrs. Jones, don't think am able to
protect thus family: you had better sen6
for your brother"
Mrs. Jones was crushed.