The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1878-08-03
All SORTS.

| cJS-EiucTucIEscos
"A street organ, like a Touring
mill, grinds wheatly and by the bar
rel as well.
1t is better to paint cart than
draw barrow. Factf
How to have a lambs tongue
keep it close to beehive.
When acorns are short ont West
the. hogs are put at half mast.
'Boston society calh banged hair
idiots fringe, Says the boston Globe.
A couple of heads of lettuce
When Nellie and Harry concluded
to marry.
One of the best spokes of the Hub
-Longfelloe.
People who walk off on their cara
never get their feet wet unless they
slip into their mouths.
The Russian Hymn s'Kalloff YER
dog" will now be substituted for the
"Watch on the Rhine.n
The evening song of the nightin-
gale is nice, but the morning lay of
the barn door fowl is nicer.
If your foot is asleep do not be
alarmed; the poet tells Us that the
sole's not dead that slumbers.
jeff Davis is warned by the New
York Graphic that ''it docsn't pay to
put new whine into old battles
Talk about the mild counteuance
of the old monksl Why, one way
of recognizing monk was by his
cowl!
Rude. Young men Of the present
day, let nature teach you politeness.
See how fond young trees are Of
making boughs.
When an actor comes upon the
stage. why is he likely to remind
you Of a person peeling onions Fit
brings the tiers to his eyes
If the plan should be adopted of
having revenue stamp on every
cigar what piping times we should
have. ~ ~
A man stepped on banana-peel
the other morning, and promptly
sat down on pint bottle Of yeast in
his pocket. He rose immediately.
They do say that Earl Beacons-
field will marry Queen Vie. Would
jew believe itf Disraeli too funny
to write about,
She was plump and beautiful, and
he was wildly fond of her I; she
hated him, but, woman-like, she
strove to catch him. He was flea.
The Brooklyn Union Argus has
discovered the difference between
the weather and the baby. Zone
never rains but it pours the other
never pains but it roars."
The fact that George Washing
toms wife never asked where he
had been when he came home late
at night. goes great ways toward
accounting for his extreme truthful
ness.
When Abraham Lincoln was
gravely informed by an English
snob that ssno gentleman in England
black his own boots" Lincoln re-
piled by asking, ''Whose boots does
he black 7"
"a basket of champagne!" ex-
claimed country dame. "Why,
declare, now, l always thought
champagne was watery stuff, like;
l never knowed you conld carry it
in basket"
Tommy. do you know that your
Uncle Robert has found beautiful
little boy baby on his door steps,
and he is going to adopt him ~
Yes, mamma, and he'll be Uncle
Roberts step son won't he ~
The basket that yau bring home
from the picnic these days is about
seventeen pounds lighter than when
taken out, but the red ants up our
trowers legs fully make up the de-
felt. Nature abi,ors q vacuum.
An Alabama negro bet that he
could stay in smoked house twenty
minutes and endure the smndge..
Three i,ourse after being pulled out
he revived enough TO say: .'Golly,
but | forgot to shut my mouf."
An art critic ssys: "The price Of
pictures improves with age" Mr..
Falson says this IL not so. He paid
- for chrome six years ago, and
friend told him yesterday that ne
wouldu't give him 90 cents for it.
Mr.. Mackey, Of California, has an
Income of $50, 900 day, but what
good does it do hint He can't
drink over ten glasses Of soda water
per day and he's get tn die on his
merits, the same - the rest Of us.