West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-11-02
WAIFS AND WHIMS.

TuC only way TO have friend is to bc
one.
"PARLoR matches s"--Courting In the
front room
TUE most perfect type OF "Rweet
home is the beehive.
FINANCIAL views--Looking through
a brokers' window mt the cash inside.
"a PARTING glass Tho maiden's
final look in the mirror at her new hat
FouR mon now living ut CastIeton,
VI, have had between them twenty
wives.
TmE Sage Of Kinderhook says that tho
village girls favorite Roman hero is
Marius.
IL selling sugar, the grocer should al
ways advise his clerk to learn TO labor
and 10 weigh IL.
Az eighty-yoar-old woman Mt Sharon,
VI, is suffering with her second attack
of whooping- cough.
LAWYERS are never more earnest than
when they work with will-that is, IL
the estate is valuable.
TnE Pekin Gazette speaks OF Kung
Too Wiling, about A. ID. 976, M the In
ventor of the telephone.
a WHEELING woman is 40 6eshy that
she cant lean up against anything
lPhcCHng Sunday Leader.
II is easy to pick holes In other poo
Pies work, but IL far moro profitable TO
do better work yourself. nE
INsTRUoTIoNs on the preservation Of
hearing say corners Of towels should be
kept out Of children's ears. as
In you wish TO pay your debts you
have paid them. Your creditors can
not deny that there has been pay-meant.
The darkest moment in msn's life
comos TO him when he finds his tooth
brush imbcdded. in q cake of soap
Puck.
How many amusing and ridiculous
scenes should we witness II each pair of
men that secretly laugh at each other
were TO do 80 openly.
a RHODE ISLAND fisherman claims 70
have landed n turtle weighing twelve
hundred pOunds-but he couldn't have
landed it in his own State.
MAN wants but little here below,
nor wants that little long '--if 1t is the
patronage of man who never pays hiS
debt-.--Fond du lac Reporter.
IF there il one time more than an
other that the iron enters n mans soul,
IL is when he treds on an inverted
carpet-tack PhHd. Saturday EUc. Poet.
WHEN a Nebraska man calls another
n liar, there is no duel over it. The liar
gulps IL down and waits his chance 10
shoot the other mans hogs.-Detroh Free
Prcss.
THE best parts Of human qualities
are the tenderness and delicaey Of feel
ing in little matters, the desire 10 sootho
and please others, the minutiw OF the
social virtues.
A CovEToUs desire in the heart OF
youth is the germ from which may
spring a poison tree, whose atmosphere
j. pestlcntial and the taste OF whose
fruit is death
Love il blind, and that's the reason
why IL can get along with one small
hand-lamp, turned down AZ low as IL win
90, a. well ~ under a blazing chandelier
Of fifty burners.
~ YOU amt an Ohio man you should
be very glad Of IT, True, the Ohio man
gets all the fat Offices, but when he dies
the medical college invariably gets him.
-PhHa. Chronicle.
BROwE paper, IL is said on good au-
thorty, will preserve any thing that Is
wrapped up in IL from the ravsges Of
moths. u is simple preventive, and
one well worth trying.
THE marriage Of their Royal High
nesscs, the Duke Of Connaught and the
Princess Louise Margaretha, Of Prussia,
will be celebrated at 81. Georges Chapel,
7 Windsor, in February.
If isn't ~ much the short weight you
. get at the grocery that aggravates you.
/ It's the recollection OF the cOndescend-
ing. cheerful air with which II was
done. that -Reokuk COnstttUtion.
/ II is said that prairie dogs, which live
/ far from rivers or lakes, obtain their
water by digging wells, some Of which
are Two hundred feet deep. Each vii
/ lsge has a well with a concealed open.
/ ing.
PToPLE are usually not particular
about tho presents they receive but
when 10 comes 10 the gifts Of providence
zach one acts as though they we're ap
pointed a committee 70 find fault
Horidsu Rec0rdey.
AJAX dehed the lightning, according
% the old poets, with considerable sue
cess 10 must be remembered, however
the fluid was not the modern New
Jersey variety. This makes all the diff
ference in the world
TuE corn looms up from the fields IN shocks,
Aut the yOunE man gOeth Tor warmer socks
And the pigeons skim through thear in dOcks.
And hOrsenees hints whnu crow the cocks,
And the merchant salted hs summer stocks
And the white bat Fcttcth host ci knocks,
Sud the small boy Eaveth hig Xmas rookie"
"a .U rffrr anHf
-- Poskera Gcssfis