The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-05-23

i
ground that It was not germane to the resOlu-
ton, and would be of no practical effect.
When Mr.. Potter insisted upon the previous
question, the Republican members refused to
vote, thus indicating no quorum present and
voting. The Army Appropriation bill was re-
ported. A bill was passed prohibiting the fur
Their coinage of three and five cent silver pieces,
and declaring subsidiary silver coin a legal-ten-
der in amounts not exceeding twenty dollars.
SENSE AND NONSENSE.
MoRN1NG-RAPpERs-Milkmen.
A MIrBY HARD kAsE "A wormy
cheese.
A LIGHT EMPtoYMENr-The lamp
lighters.
II is fact, that, however good your
clothes may be, they are always worn
out.
GENERAL d. BlLrTY has killed thou.
sands; but General A. Bility never hurt
anybody.
SOME philosophers say that we have
no innate ideas, but no one has vet been
bold enough TO declare that the love OF
gossip is not innate.
A PERSON being asked why he had
given his daughter in marriage to q
man with whom he was at enmity, an
swered, II did it out of pure revenge. -
YOUNG girls have revived the fashion
of wearing their hair in one long thick
braid, tied with a bow of ribbon-ot
course, it is fringed over the forehead.
~ 7. Graphic.
CIOTHEs-PINs can now be bought for
two cents per dozen, and there is no
longer any excuse for hanging linen
pants on the line by a knot in the leg.
Detroit Free Press.
VANCOUVER is the Gretna Green of
Oregon, and is gaining wide reputa-
ton with those who flee there to inter-
view the accommodating Justices of
the Peace who reside close by the lord
~ Columbia.
IT is Russian idea that the Turks
will be more likely to keep the peace il
Russia occupies Constantinople. The
theory is that man down. and under
foot. will not strike out from the shout
der.-M. o. Rcayune.
ORDER received by a dentist, which
says: my mouth is three inches
across, fve-eight inches threw the jaw.
Sum humoky on the edge. Shaped like
hoss-shew, toe forrard. If you want
me to be more partikler, shall have to
cum thar"
The Due de Morny's definition of q
polite man is the hardest to realize of
any ever given. "a polite man." said
he, is one who listens with interest to
things he knows all about, when they
are told by a person who knows moth
ing about them.''
Poor young thing! She tainted
away at the wash-tub, and her pretty
nose went kerslop into the soapsnds.
Some said it was overwork; others,
however, whispered that her beau had
peeped over the back fence and called
out, "Hullo, there, Bridget, is Miss
Alice at homer
WHENEVER q man uses the personal
pronoun 81" too much. it is always
safe to discount his stories about SO
per cent. The pronOun "you" may
be connected with small ventures and
Insignificant achievements, but the pro-
noun 81" is never used except in the
description of immense numbers and
verv heroic deeds.-M. Y. Herald.
SENTENCES must be properly con.
structed if they are to be understood.
A clergyman meant to say that, while
he was preaching, parishioner of his
had died in state of beastly iEtoxica-
ton, and, to draw therefrom a moral
lesson; but he made himself unhappy
by saying: ''And my friends, that man
died while I was preaching in state
of beastly intoxication." His congre-
cation requested him to wear the blue
ribbon, or else to look more carefully
after his commas.
RECENT defalcations in Massachusetts,
have revived the memory of the act by
which the Massachusetts Bank was in
corporated in 1884, and which provides
that If any President, Director, officer
| or servant embezzled or converted to
his own use any of the effects of the
bank, he should be set upon the gal
| lows with rope about his neck, or be
set upon the pillory for the space OF
two hours, should forfeit all his per-
sonal estate and the issues of all his
real estate during life. He was also to
be rendered infamous and incapable Of
sustaining any Office, civil or military.
This shows what was thought Of
breaches of trust in those honest days,
when they were fewer than they are
now.
"WHY, how d'y'de, Mrs. Careful
are all your folks pretty wellp' asked
one neighbOr Of another, q few days
ago. .'Oh, yes, pretty well, thank you
that is, about as well as usual. Father
hasn't been quite we'll since he banked
up the cellar last fall, and overworked
himself; thinks he hurt his side. And
mother has got the rheumatism so bad
she hasn't been able to get down
stairs for week; Matilda Ann has q
slight touch of the diphtheria, 80 the
doctor says; Jimmie can't speak above
whisper. for q sore throat; Susie ID
just getting another rising in her car,
and The baby has had two more spells
OF Group. My husband can hardly do
any work on account Of his sore eyes,
and thought I'd die last night with
neuralgia In my head-but we're all
about as common. How's your folksp''
A NEW YORK Police-J Justice has civ.
en- the average complainant at the Po-
lice Courts an effective lesson, even II
his action came near to condoning a
felony. A man was arrested for steal
ing . lot of lead-pipe from . factory,
and the owner was notified to appear 1t
court. He couldn't attend-his time
was too valuable to waste in prosecut-
ing such petty charge. and a. the
property had been recovered he was
quite satisfied; such was the message
he sent to the Police Court by clerk.
"You are discharged" said Justice
Bixby to the prisoner, "and a. there il
no evidence that this lead-pipe does not
belong 10 you, take it with you" So
the thief carried of the pipe, and the
real proprietor, who had such an imper-
feet idea Of his duties a. . citizen, was
nightly Disguised when his clerk came
home without the pipe.