The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-03-21
EVERY DAY SPICERIES.

1Qe nOWeIS OI mtmOfy DcaI lf
The fragrance Of 1t still.'
EVERY DAY SPICERIES.
A cow belle-The milkmaid.-Boston
Commercial Bulletin.
IT's observable that one-armed men
always shake with the left hand.-Com't
Ado.
1T is more blessed to give than to re-
ceive, but it's not so popular.-St Louis
Journal.
GENERAL CUSHING, press item says,
appears younger than ten years ago.
Years estlightly upon Cushing.-Fond
du lac Reporter.
How to keep an umbrella" is the
title of newspaper article. We know.
Dig hole sixteen feet deep and bury it.
Camden Post.
THE Buffalo Espress replies to the
Pittsburg Telegraph's inquiry, Can
two c0i.e5ituto ss>.;s,t y, ins, g Not
unless they happen to be married"
DON'T be afraid to lick on postage
stamps. The printers make their muci-
lage from potatoes and thin it down with
peach brandy.-New Orleans Picayune.
WHAT'S the. difference between cattle
driving and the middle of the month?
Ones the Ides of March and the others
the march of hides.-P Philadelphia Bul-
leta,. 4ilils
THE decoration mania seems to have
had its run, and now some families will
perhaps find time to clean off the front
steps and wash the windows.-Detroit
Free Press. .s.e ez5
ALADY accosted q boy standing at a
gate on Second street with, " Sonny, is
there to be mum social here tonight"
He said, "No, num-" She passed. Mod
SON Courier. a
A SCORE of full-born Americans will
move three wagon-loads of lumber to un-
cover poor old rat, where a cash offer
of fifty cents each would have no effect.
Free Press.
If there is anything that will tempt
paragraphist to swear it is to think up
ioKe bound to convulse the country, and
then forget it before he can write it down.
Boston Post.
CHICAGO revenue officers are beginning
to complain of their inability to tell by
the aroma whether house contains an
illicit still or sleeping Alderman
Brooklyn Argus.
Rev. JOSEPH Cook says that Dar-
wins hypothesis of pangeneses involves
several untenable subsidiary hypothesis"
Very few people supposed it was as bad
as that.-Noristoic Herald. sS.ss
PERSONS contributing spring poetry
will be required to hand in the names of
the friends whom they have selected as
pail bearers,-not for publication, but
as evidence of good faith Worcester
| Press. .isi a4s
! "HAyE you ChaucerT asked a
Young lady, looking in at book
| The polite clerk replied no, he never
/ used it; but there was a tobacaonist's s
lust two doors e.-Commerciai Ad-
uertiser.
IT bothers good many people to tell
whether the landscape painter has de-
generated, or the chrome printer reached
the climax of art. About all the diff
ference there is is in the price.-Detroit
Free Press.
THERE is no grove on earth's broad chart
l. But has some bird to cheer it;
So Hope sings on in every heart,
| Although we may not hear 1t.
And If to-day the heavy wing
i Of sorrow Is expressing,
Perchance to-morrow's sun will bring
ine "e"i' A'A'' PHI Sat. Epes. Post.
GAS amber attracts straw. 80 does
beauty attract admiration" Quite true
but the strains of brass band will pull
a sick woman out of bed, and take the
census of all the children on q street
before the base drummer strikes his
first Breakfast Table.
WHAT'S your occupation, BubP'
asked visitor at the Capitol OF bright
bow whom he met in the corridor. The
, boy happened to be page in the House.
" 1 am running for Congress, sir" he
, replied.-New York Commercial Adoer.
] tiser. ...5sz
LITTLE boy, when your mother surni
3 you across her knee, you're transparent
4 Boston Post. Because, you see, sh'
puts panes into you.-M T. Mail. Ant
1 she takes away your wind-ohl-M Y
i Graphic. Rather an on-kneesy situation
I for the |. b. Xonkers Gazette.
l WHEN Mr. Baker took to wife
A buxom little dear, is
o He fenced her in with both his arms
And whispered IN her ear,
!, "Now do / promise thee, my love,
Meier from thy side to 60;
r For like all bakers, little one,
. / daily need my doe" L.
e -Yonkvs Gazette.
e The killephone is the reverse of tn
telephone; by using it you can avol'
: hearing chatterbox not foot distant
and cats may howl all night on you
8 ridgepole without your knowingit. Evel
o your neighbor's cornet becomes inno1
y ious, and the hand-organ loses its sting
u -Lo,oeU Courier.
{, A LOWELL man who lost his goo
II character some time ago was severel
n hauled over by some ofh former friend
u u / know it, boys. know my character
= gone, lost entirely. And" he adde
J. Father pointedly, " its too eonfounde
le bad. for it was the only one in the plae
sr worth g."-Lo,DeH Journal.
le A CHAP who was collared in Newar
"a ballroom the other evening, waitze
'n down two flights of stairs, and the
TX kicked into the street, was heard to r
70 mark, as he scraped the mud out OF n
In hair, that he would have cleaned o.
the whole ballroom but he didn't lii
to frighten the ladies.--Ncacark Cdu.
sd The languid days of spring make
man feel sluggish. This demands med
cine. and hence we suggest: Sassafr'
ce to cleanse the blood; stepped, raspberl
ry leaves to sooth the stomach; layend
i'll tea to quiet the nerves; sage to thin u
ID tissues boneset to tone up the systeI
rk and pills on general principles.--C'
cago journal,