The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1878-04-27
All Sorts.

not Toe found on the orange peel.
What is the difference between q
belle and burglarf The belle car
ries false locks, and the burglar false
keys.
81 am bound to have my rights"
as the man said to the shoemaker
who had sold him a pair of boots,
both lefts.
When Agassiz was pressed,to de-
liver a lecture for pay, he replied:
II cannot afford to waste my time
for money"
Love is said to be a blind, but
know lots of fellows in love who can
see twice as much in their gals as
kan.---Josh Billings.
A gentleman observing the sign
of "Caswell" upon business estab-
lishment, remarked that it would be
''as well without the C.n
They that be wise shall shine o.
the brightness of the firamment;
and they that turn many to right
eousness, as the stars for ever and
ever.
At a recent dinner of shoemakers
the following toast was given: "May
we have all the women in the coun-
try to shoe and all the men to
boot"
"What comes after T ~ asked O
teacher of small pupil, who was
learning the alphabet He received
the bewildering reply: "You do
to see Liza.
'Lord, make us truly thankful of
what we are about to receive-these
biscuits amt fitten for dog to eat"
is the way q certain Monroe, La,
man asked a blessing.
A little American lad who had
inst commenced reading the news
papers, asked his father if the word
"HOn." preGxed to the name of q
member of Congress, meant "h0n-
est"
A little four year old woke up
very early one morning, and seeing
the full moon from the window he
innocently Remarked: al should
think it was about time for bod to
take that moon in"
"My dear,n said a husband, in
startled tones, after waking his wife
in the middle of night, 81 have
swallowed a dose OF strychnine"
"Well, dear, for goodness sake, lie
still, or it may come ap!"
"Captain," said a son of Erin, as
the ship was nearing the coast in in
clement weather, ''have We an alme-
mix on board ~ "No, / havn't."
"Then, bejabbers, we shall have to
take the weather as it comes"
A cruel joke at the expense of
those ladies who are perpetually
striving to gain hearing in the
in the Press has been going the round
of literary circles, to the effect ''shat
they look much better in muslin
than in print
A widow, being cautioned by her
minister about flirting, said she
knew it was wrong for maidens and
wives to tiirt. but the Bible was her
authority. 1t said widows mite"
She was flirting awfully at last ac-
counts.
'sIt is not our fault" says a Mil
waukee editor, "that we are red
headed and small, and the next
time that one of those overgrown
rural BOOSTERS in ball room reaches
down for our head and suggests that
some fellow has lost rose bud out
of his button-hole, there will be
trouble
A lady who had been teaching her
little four year-old the elements of
arithmetic was astonished by his
running and propounding the follow
ing problem: "Mamma, if you had
three butterflies, and each butterfly
had a bug in his ear, how many
butterflies would you have n The
mother Is still at work on the prob
lem.
"What's this crowd around here
fort" asked policeman the other
night aslIe came upon dozen boys
grouped near the gate of the house
on second street. keep still" re-
piled one of the lads, 'there comes
old John, tight us u brick, and we're
waiting here to see his wife pop him
with the rolling pin as he opens the
front door,"
A farmer on the road between
Charlton and Worcester, Mass, hav-
ing been terribly annoyed with
drnmmers, put up sign: NO sew
ing machines wanted here. Got 0sie.'
1t was no use the next drummer
c,,,,<..I e.. ,aa tha machine S0u1