Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1878-03-15
Cured bv Cremation.

Mrs. Boggs had been under the
weather for two or three days. AT least
she said she was, but these attacks came
rather frequently, Boggs thought, for
when his wife was having one of her
off spells he had to cook the meals and
do all the housework. We don't remem-
ber what particular state the weather
was in this last time, but Mrs. Boggs
was under it, and she was under it very
bad. She even told Boggs that she
didn't believe she was ever going to get
up out of it, and she made an hysterical
request that he bury her in some sunny
spot where the birds might come and
sing to her, and she made him promise
that he would bring flowers once
week and scatter them over her grave.
A dozen times that day was Boggs
called from his work in the kitchen to
bid last farewell to his dying wife,
but still she fingered. He had been
through this experience great many
times before, so he wasn't so much
alarmed as he might otherwise have
been.
That night as he sat watching, like
the affectionate husband he was, at her
bedside, she saw that he was deeply
enSrOSSeu III II DOOk.
What book are you reading, dear?"
she family asked.
"a railroad guide, my love-" was
the reply.
"What do you want with railroad
guideP' she inquired.
81 want to see how far it is to Wash
ington, Pa, and how the trains rum"
said Mr.. Boggs.
She would have asked him what he
had to do with Washington, Pa, but
he got up and went out and she fell in
to doze, the inclination to which she
didn't care to repress, even though it
delayed the final departure that she so
often prated about. When she awoke
she saw Boggs bending over her with
candle. He evidently hadn't observed
that she was awake, 50 closing her eyes
she feigned sleep and overheard the
following soliloquy, which sufficiently
| explained to her now-thoroughly-awak-
ened senses his inquiry of the railroad
guide about the route 10 Washington,
Pa: "Splendd subject for cremation
little scraggy'' (Mrs. Boggs fingers
worked nervously under the bed clothes
and she had hard work to keep from
| incinerate quicker than the fat ones,
the doctor says. She could be CREASED
if necessary to make her go quicker.
Think I'll send her up by express, as
I'm too busy in the store to get away.
Her ashes can be forwarded to me in
an envelope through the mail. rllknow
them (audible chuckle). They'll be
under the weather every few weeks and
want to die. And they'll ask ME to
bury them in some sunny spot where
the birds can come. and sing to 'em
I'll send word to DIR. lie Moyne to make
it hot for her--she has kept things hot
enough for me. And I'll tell him to let
all the reporters in, so as to give her "A
good send-off through the papers, and
whoop 'er up Liza Jane. Sorry cam t
be there to stir her up myself, and
A thrilling, ear-piercing scream came
from the woman under the weather,
and, with bound sufficient to land
her on top of any weather that ever
lived, she sprang out of bed and had
Boggs by the ear in flash. while she
fairly screamed:
you'll cremate me, will You, you
bald-headed old reprobate! You'll
send my scraggy body up to Washing
ton by express giving his ear a ring
between the sentences); and tell that
wicked old wretch, LIE Moyne, to make
it hot for me; and you'll have my ashes
sent to you in a letter. (growing more
and more wrathy, and humping him
over the head with the candlestick she
had snatched away from his HANDY "and
bury me in some sweet, sunny spot
(whackD "where the birds may come
and sing' (bingD ;"andy want the re-
porters there (bang) "to whoop' er up
Liza Jane" (boom)! "Oh, you mean,
wretched, wicked old man, you! I'll
live hundred years to spite you, see
if l don'tr'
Then she pushed Boggs out of the
door and bolted it, and he had to make
up bunk on the kitchen floor that
night, next to the stove. But peculiar
smile played about Boggs' face, even
when he was rubbing the sore spots on
his bald head, and he murmured softly
to himself; "Guess I've cured her oi
! them spells for one while"
Mrs. Boggs hasn't been under tho
weather since, but mention of the wore
cremation drives her -Ctnoinndt
Saturday Night
The Department of Agriculture a
+ Washington recently dispatched a sael
5 of new variety of wheat, which it re
|, quested might be distributed among
7 farmers for trial 1t was found To con
/ sist of wild buckwheat, mustard, biacl
b oats, white oats, rye, pigeon grass, bar