The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1878-02-14
NaritM

Mrs. CaTharine Chase spmgue Is living at her
| fathers house of "Edgewood," near Washington
and gives weekly receptions, crowded as Of old,
Said Smith to his book .keeper-"Has the new
drummer got az much brass az the old one ~ "0h,
yes, sir he's one Of the real old.fashioned door
knockers Of our daddies"
Shack Nasty Jim, the once famous Modoc, has
raised 1000 bushels Of corn, and wants TO learn
the process OF preparing 1t 80 that II may be eaten
| out Of flask Worcester Press.
The following Is rather equivoca: maria
Brown, wife Of Timothy Brown, aged so years
| She lived with her husband 80 years, and died In
the confident hope Of better life."
She ate with her knife,
Like an old fashioned wife,
As would brave boy at clam bake;
And she picked at her tooth,
And II is the plain TRUTH
She wiped Off her mouth with pan cake.
A new song Is entitled "1rust me darling, I'll
be true" That is what they all say But don't
trust him on short acquaintance, The proba.
bllitles are that he has wife In another town.
NOTrtSt0t0n Herald.
| A man who thought he would present his wife
| with material for new dress, was somewhat sur
prlsed to see the dealer slip the cloth in an enve
lope and say he would have the buttons sent right
| up In dray.- Worcester Press
Actual fact pious man was going through
the common one Sunday, and came upon some
youngsters playing marbles" Boys" he said,
boys do you know what day 1t is?" One OF the
imps turned to bystander with Here, can you
tell this man what day 1t is he don't know"
He had brought her the very things she wanted
from the supper table to her safe retreat on the
stairs and she was moved to say, half laughingly.
"You are a man after my own heart MI B-l'
Just what am after" he answered, quick as
fash, covering her with confusion.
A Palmer Irlshman is credited with sending the
following teegraphic message to his brother:
"Your wife died yesterday We will wake her
tonight. Come home. P.s.-Don't open this for
two hours, so as to prepare yourself for the mel.
ancholy news" s"-Palmer Journal
At recent Sunday School concert the supern-
tendent was talking about idols when to ascer-
| tain whether the children we're understanding
| what he was saying, he asked, Children, what Is
an ido" Being lazy" was the loud and quick
response Of one Of the members Of the juvenile
| class,
|
dreadfully afraid of cholera took TO the woods to
avoid It, and there was found asleep. Being asked
why he went to the woods he said: ITO pray
But" said the overseer How is it that you went
to sleep2" "Don't know, massa, zacty" re.
sponded the negro "but 'spect must have over.
prayed myself"
During the recent civil war there were two vol
unteeIs lying beneath their blankets, looking up
at the stars in Virginia sky. Says Jack: what
made you go into the army, Tom2" "Well" re
| piled Tom, II had no wife and loved war.
What made ou join the army, Jack1" "Well,"
ne replied, 81 had wife, and l loved peace, so l
went to the war"
The most curious thing in the world is a woman
who is not curious.
Although girl may be as proud as Lucifer, It
doesn't always follow that she makes good
match,
The husband-"My love, what suit do you pre-.
fer seeing me put onN The wlfe-"YouI travel
ing suit, my dear"
Many poor woman thinks she can do nothing
without husband, and when she gets one finds
that she can do nothing with him.
Augustus" said Amelia, how do oysters get
any air 70 breathe when their shells are closed
tightH "Bl.Valves,' murmered Gus.
Father to son just from coege-"What have
you learned at your college?' I'VE never learn
anything; they never let you see the newspa
pers"
A definition Of bankruptcy, lately given by an
English Judge, is reported to have been: when
a man owes a lot Of money, and lawyer and &C
countant divide the estate between them"
as there q helli" asks Canon Fauar. Well, |
Canon, Just you get home from the lodge about
l p, m, without latch key and see for yourself
New York Commercial
A young lady in party, imagining she was
treated with too much Indifference, felt so piqued
as to remark, 'she would not be made a cyphsr OF
by anybody" " often sigh for yOu," replied q
waggish gallant,
A modern William Tell Here, grandpa, let's |
play William Tell, I'll be Mr.. Tell, and you may
play your my son, and stand over there by the |
mirror while shoot the apple off your head"
foolish young fellow, boasting in company of
his travelling abroad, was asked by one present |
how he made his way. "By my wits" replied the |
other Indeed p says hei then you must have
travelled very cheGply"
my dear, can't tell you Just where" "But |
don't you know| "How can I know Nellie |
Mamma has never died." "Of course not but |
haven't you studied geography"
colonel" said splcer, as a long winded indi- |
Vdual with large ears finally left the Office of the
Delaspare Insurance Company, that man is a |
donkey" "0h, no" said the genial colonel mot |
a donkey; only an ear relation"
school inspector, in talking to the infant class,
used the word "abridgement" and Immediately |
explained that, as some Of them might not know
the meaning Of the word, he would say that 1t
was synonym Of the word "epitome."
A short line engineer informs a correspondent
Of the MadisOnville (Ky.) Times that young man
with his head out Of the car window, went to kiss
his grandmother good-by and the Il ain pulled 0us |
so fast tha! he kissed an old negro woman at the
next station.
At a dinner of provincial law society once,
the president called upon the senior solicitor to
give as toast the person whom he considered
the best friend OF the profession. "Then," re.
sponded the sly old fox, IN give you the man
who makes his own will"
"Will you always trust me, dearestT he asked,
looking down into her great blue eyes with un.
speakable affection. She was a saleswomsn in an
up town shirt store and she told him business
was business, and he'd have to pay cash every
Lime.-Ne,O York Commercial Advertiser.
An outside passenger by coach had his hat
blown over bridge, and carried away by the
stream. SIS 1t not very singular" said he to
gentleman who was seated inside, that my hat
has taken that direcuonY mot at ALL" replied
the latter: 1T is natural that beaver should take
to the water"
A vicksburg negro fell from the deck OF steam.
boat the other day, was sucked under a coal
barge, came up In time to catch his breath before
he slid under raft mile long, aud finally scram.
bled ashore down at Warrentown, about seven
miles below, with the remark, mo use Tyin', 70
kaint drown deep water Bapds'r