The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-29
THE BOY WHO ADVISED

DV - " - -
One of cur humorists thus writes /:
The architect who plans high front
steps to house is in league with GER
tain boys who have large and as
sorted stock" of meanness born 10
their nature. Proof of this can be
found any day in the weekin Detroit,
and the latest was gathered in no
later that Saturday afternoon A
very Lice young man, dressed in the
nobbiest style, and sporting a cane
which never cost less than dollar,
walked up the high front steps of a
Jefferson avenue mansion and pulled
the bell 1t was plain enough, even
to street car driver, that the young
maa hsd an affection for some one in
that house, and that he was about to
meet his charmer. But it wasn't 80
plain TO a stub-nosed boy, who was
drawing q picture of an Indian war
rior on the fsgstones with piece OF
indigo. He looked up, quit his
work, ana los6ng along to the gate
called out
Them air folks don't want any
patent tooth-paste to-day.
The nobby young man gave sud-
den start of surprise, but he instantly
realized the vastness of the gulf sep
arating him and that street boy, and
be did not reply.
"0ur folks don't want any clothes
wringers to-day, end yor don't want
to hear me !" called the boy.
The young man heard him.
Several pedestrians also heard him,
and as they looked up the young
man wondered why no one answered
the bell.
"I'm telling you young fellow up
there" said the boy, that we don't
keep no boarding house here If
you want cheap board you must
90 around the corner and three
blocks straight on. Do you propose
to pay in advance !n
As no one came to the door the
young man pulled the bell again:
'I'm telling you that you can't
pass yourself off as grasshopper
sufferer !" shouted the boy. If you
want some cold vittels go round to
the side gate!"
Four pedestrians had halted on the
other side OF the street. and the
young man looked down on the boy
and softly said;
"Boy, can you catch ten cents Z"
1--WE don't sign no petishuns here
for national monument 10 the in
ventor of dish-pan!" piled the
boy. What I'm talking 10 you is
that you want to go around TO the
cooks door ~
The young man wished a wish
containing Alb grains fine tbs. the
builder of those high steps had been
dead for forty years, but the door
didn't open, and the boy hung right
to him calling out;
"Hain't l been telling you that you
can't get in there You may be the
private watchman on this block, bu'
you can't go around pulling front
door bells and putting on airs II l
have to argue much longer I'll call
the police" .
I've got half dollar here, boy :"
said the young man as be turned
around.
Lets see how it looks :" softly
replied the lad.
But the half dollar was at home.
The young man searched for it in
vain, and the disgusted boy turned
to the men across the street and cal
led out:
"Isn't it sgin the lay for fellow
to be taking beeswax impression of
front door lock in the daytime :"
they started TO come over, and
the young man furried down the
steps and up the street. He gave
them Just one look. 1t was look
in which railroad collisions and
steamboat blow-ups were equally
mixed and they frosted with a b.
gardus kick.
ooh We kin wink at me and try
to buy me offI' growled the boy, 'but
these principles of honesty were paint
ed all over me when | was baby,
and they can't be rubbed out nor
bought up for wealth "
Just then q young lady threw open
the door and smiled aud bowed and
got as far as "Why, Fwed !" when
she discovered be wasn't there. The
footman was out and she had waited
to "6x up" and "Fwed" had gone.
She backed in aud shut the door,
and the mean boy got down to finish
his Indian.