St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1878-03-15
Squibs.
When mischief is afoot it is just as
we'll to ride horseback.

When mischief is afoOt it is just AS
well to ride horseback.
Nordhoff says there wasn't single
senator drunk at the recent aIl-night
session. So much the more shameful
the conduct of the married ones.-TFOr-
ceSter Press
Episode in political convention at
Titusville, Pa: "The chairman-The
chair will not dispute the point with
Mr.. Carter" "Mr. Carter-The chair
had better not unless he takes his coat
off" The chair did not.
Intelligent freshmen, Harvard col
lege: "WhO was the wisest man? Aw
what er yer given us? Samson, he
wus; for he had more brains in his
sleeves than the other college. He
pulled in ther race, didn't he? An he
pulled heavy, an don't you forgit it."
If you really want to harmonize two
standards, why not adopt pork and
beans g-N. Y. Herald.
Two kegs of gunpowder were found
concealed in the basement of an Arkan-
sas court house recently, leading to
suspicion of a desire to remove the
county seat.
A classical SOph translates "Nu6es est
Niger" "The niger from Nuba."
Prof.-'What important change came
over Burns in the latter part of his
life ?" Student.-"He died.
They are going to put on the new
silver dollar the legend ''In God we
trust" That's what the old woman,
being run away with, said she did till
the breechin' broke. The silver mad
ness is running away with the country,
and the breechin' broke in Congress the
other day.-Albany EUening Journal.
The Scientific American inquiries if
the world is growing colder. To which
another journal replies as follows: awe
saw man sitting on a piece of ice in
front of this office yesterday who look
ed as though he might know, but per-
haps it would be as well to ask him by
mail"
A lad reciting some poetry to his
mother, gave, among other things, the
"Burial of Sir John Moore" "What do
you like best in the piece ?n asked the
mother. "Few and short were the
prayers they said," was the boys reply.
SCENE-Physiology classroom Pro-
fessor-"Miss M, give the number
of teeth and their names." Student
"Really, Professor, l have them all at
my tongues end, but l can't give them.n
This is the kind of weather in which
to take cold. Do not be deceived by
the flight of birds; northward, by the
sudden raising of windows, or by the
sounding of accordeons at midnight.
Summer is not here. Keep on your
thick shoes, and if you wear a red fan
mel pen-wipeT on your chest do not take
it Oft until turkeys eggs are in bloom.
''HOw much is your stick candy ?" in
quired boy of candy dealer.
''Six sticks for five cents"
"Six sticks fer five cents, eh? Now
lem me see. Six sticks fer five cents,
five fer four cents, four fer three cents.
three fer two cents, two fer one cent,
one fer nOthin'. I'll take one.n And
ne held out his hand to the bewildered
candy dealer.
Dan voorhees, thinks ice-water too
dear at penny glass. He won't think
so always-but we anticipate.
The death of the pope is sad, verv
SAD, but 1t brings one cOnsOling reflec-
ton. He leaves no children to contest
his will.
Is there woman in all this broad.
sunny land of ours who doesn't believe
that carving-knives are created and
kept sharp and nice for the sole purpose
OF splitting kindling and opening fruit
cans?
They talk of the extraordinary con-
nublal happiness of those cremation
Pltmans, and yet the very last thing
the woman indulged in was a retort'
Then her-husband corked her up for
ever-Philadelphia Bulletin.
You can teach boy that if he plavs
the three-and-four domino on a three.
leaving six exposed at the other end,
1t counts ten, in about five minutes :
but it will take him all day at school to
learn that four units and six units make
ten unlts.-ROme Sentinel.
A traveller in western Iowa while rid
ing along came to large sign which
lmplOred him to s'Look out for the To-
comotlve.n He accordingly rode down
the track for better view, and. while
ne was obligingly ''looking out" for il.
It came along. He saw it, but he had
to sit in the ditch and wait until q
freight train of thirty seven cars passed
by, before he could get back to the
other piece of his h0rse.-Buyiinoton
Hapkeye. S'"''