The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1878-05-14


she should not go; he could not endure
the lonesome house during her absence.
And then again be declared that if she
must 90 he would neglect bis Office and
LET his business 90 to the bowwows and
he would 60 with her. AT length, how
ever, she persuaded him to be reasonable,
and on her repeated assurance that she
would not remain any longer than three
days he consented to let her 60. He
even bought her ticket, and ordered the
carriage and paid for it two days ahead,
lest hi1 q she1H give Wsy and
he should forbid leSR olng nom hliII
And from that time till the morning Of
her departure Mr.. Barstinglow spoke In
subdued tones and moved about with
the air Of man whose heart was buried
under mountains of grief.
Before she left the house, Mrs. Barst-
inglow set the phonograph in the sitting
room, behind the clock. Then she kiss.
ed her disconsolate husband, and beg
ged him to preserve his precious life for
her sake while she was away, and then
she was gone.
Every day, during her three days
visit in the Gate City, she received let.
ter from her mourning husband, beg.
ging her to come back aud telling her
how lonesome he was without her, and
how like grave the empty house SEEM
ed, and how the hours dragged over his
aching heart with leaden feet. And in
three days she came home, and filed the
solemn house with sunlight and laugh
ter again.
The evening after her return to Bur.
lington che took down the phonograph.
81 WONDER" she said, "what we said
last in it's hearing. 1t must have been
something while we were discussing my
visit. Or may be it has caught some Of
your poor, longing meanings while l
was away"
And then she turned the crank.
"Lord, no." croaked the phonograph,
in tones Of hearty reinsurance; "no dan
ger of that; she's safe in Keokpk for
three days; saw her safely of, myself,
this morning. Light your cigar while l
light another lamp and make the room
look cheerful"
"Why," exclaimed Mrs. Barstinglow,
in countenance of amazement, "what
on earth is 1t saying?"
"Oh, some nonsense some of your
visitors have talked into it some time or
other" replied her husband nervously /;
"people talk all kind of stuff into o pho.
nograph, you know. They say anything
or talk"
Mrs Barstingiow, looking only half
fconvinced, gave the crank another turn.
This is devilish good whisky, Barsty,
calculated the machine very earnestly.
"You don't get it in Burlington, do
you p
Mrs. Barstinglow gave little shrek.
"My dear" said her husband, looking
now quite as worried as he had looked
when he was begging her not. to 60 to
Keokuk, "put it away; somebody has
had it out in the stable, and 1t might say
something perfectly shocking. you know.
Put it away"
But Mrs. Barstinglow, upon whom
the spirit OF investigation had descend
dei with great power, ground away, and
the phonograph, In voice marvelously
like her husbands, went remorselessly
on
"Not much; they don't make this kind
now. It's some old Monongahela, cop
per distilled. that Mrs. Barstinglow's
mother gave her for medicinal purposes
three years ago. Fill up; there's plenty
of it, and / can replace It with any kind
of beverage when it's gone. The old
girl won't know the difference"
Mrs. Barstinglcw felt herself turning
to stone; but the next turn Of the crank
brought out an uproarious-
"Ha, ha, ha.. Here's to the o. g!r
That famed her cheek into fame.
"For mercy's sake, Malachi Barsting-
lov," she shrieked, "What does this
mean 2"
Mr.. Barstinglow now looked as though
he did really wish she had never gone
to Keokuk.
"Its just as I tell you, be said, with an
effort to look unconcerned that was like
a humorous book-a colossal success so
far as its utter failure was concerned ;
"somebody has been talking all softs OF
nonsense into 1t Just for talks sake
How else could it get hold Of such
dreadful stuff in our dear little home,
lovey ?"
Mrs. Barstinglow didn't say, but she
turned away, and the phonograph asked,
carelessly:
"Throw around for the dealr
She thought she would faint, but she
didn't, and the pitiless machine proceed.
ed to remark with variety Of voices
ats my age" q
"You'll have to straddle that blind Il
you come in"
"Give me two cards"
aChip one."
"I'll see your little one and raise you
a couple"
"Push the bottle this way, Ben."
.Ain't you going to stay in, Harry 2
"Can't stay in on pair of sixes,"
"Oall you"
"Two small pair, kings to head"
"Tens and deuces. Take the pot"
"Barsty, get Us something to eat
Old girl left the cupboard keys, didn'
she 2"
"Lord, yes; told her / was going t.
keep back, at home, to save expenses
and keep out OF bad company"
aHa! ha! ha! Ho! ho! hoV
"Ohp yelled Mr.. Barstngiow, unabi
| to contain himself any longer, while hi
wife, more dead than alive, leaned owe
the phonograph. and ground away Q
the crank, in q dazed kind of way, "On
keep it up! That's right! Keep he
|a.goingl Grind it all out! Doggon
the diabolical piece Of black art and tn
vile assassin that invented It! Keep
Iup! That's right! Believe q senseles'
diabolical piece Of mechanism rathe
than your husband! Keep her a-going