The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-01-13
WHAT Is AN ENGAGEMENT?
Some Vulgar Errors on This Suh;ec,

The Boston Courier, in discussing
what constitutes an engagement, SAYS
What really constitutes a sacred OBJ
legation in these matters, and how far a
gentleman should consider himself
bound, is too nice a subject to be briefly
expressed. But matrimonial engage
ment does not consist of any OF the civil
tiles and courtesies OF life which a GEN
tleman may extend to lady. It is not
unfrequently the case. however, that
these are mistaken for declarations, and
the announcement Is made at once that
such persons are engaged. Such is the
imprudence Of friends. and frequently
of the lady herself, that the common
politeness and attention which are ever
due between the sexes, are construed
into proposals for matrimony, and
a man hears the report Of his
engagement, while, as yet, not
through his mind. II man escorts a
lady to the theatre, IL he walks with her
In the street, il he occasionally visits
her for the sake OF her good society, the
report Is not infrequently set on foot
by some indiscreet friend that the par
ties are engaged. Neither does an en-
gagement consist Of any politeness or
social intercourse which q lady may ex-
tend to gentleman. There are young
gentlemen, however, of such consum-
mate vanity. as to suppose that such
strongest intimation of personal attach
ment. II a lady so much as looks at
them, they fancy that it must be a love
affair. A smile. q compliment, a social
interview, is set down by such conceited
small souls as the most unequivocal
declaration Of love. They tell of the
conquest they have made with an air OF
triumph, and never know their mistake
till they learn 1t in that reserve and
neglect which their conduct so richly
deserves. Neither does an engagement
consist in any OF those preliminary
steps which are SO important, in
character and qualifications Of
the person with whom you would
be united for life. Many persons, how
ever, imagine that every such step is a
step OF committal. While the individ-
ual is only forming that wise estimate
and making those judicious investiga-
tions which every one is bound to make
In this affair by regard to his own hap
piness and that Of others, he is consid-
cred as fairly committed without the
possibility of honorable retreat. But
this is all wrong, whether it be the
sentiment OF individuals or public senti-
man might as we'll commit his interest
In this matter to lady whom he never
beheld.. He might as we'll be betrothed,
as heather children by their parents,
without his consent or knowledge. He
might as we'll blindfold himself and
rush into crowd OF females and select
a companion at random. Parents must
suppose their daughters little less than
angels II they expect to betroth them
In this manner. And IL young ladies
are SO superficial in character and &C.
mplishments as not to admit of such
honorable and wise scrutiny, they had
and become nuns at once.
Neither does an engagement consist |
in the most unqualified declaration of |
love on the part of either the gentle |
man or che lady. This may all be; yet |
no obligations are assumed-no con-
tract is formed. And yet there are those |
who suppose that such declarations Of |
impose an obligation on
their friend which cannot be resisted or
violated. 1t Is true such disclosure |
on the part Of the gentleman imposes |
certain duties on the part Of the female. |
Ii her circumstances are such as to rem
bound by every principle to acauaint |
him Immediately with the fact and keep
the transaction secret. IL her cir
cumstances are such as to render it |
proper for her to enter into matrimo-
NAL engagement, 1t is proper that sh |
make his proposal a matter Of imme-
date and serious consideration.
II she is satisfied with the
character and entertains the
requisite amount of affection to
make their union happy, she has moth
Ing left but to make known to him her
acceptance Of his proposal. But, If after
iue consideration, and inquiry, and de-
liberation, she is conducted to contra
y, y conclusion &c sasl she should lose no time
n informing him OF the fact, In way
east likely to wound his sensibilities or
nortify his pride. She will consider it,
90, both dictate of modesty, and pru-
ience, and honor, to disclose the cir
'umstance to no living being. There
ire many men who make pointof pay
ng particular attentions indiscriminate-
y to several ladies, and when their
marked observances have exposed them
misrepresentation and calumny,
vonder how such could be the result,
lot meaning any harm, and only
q ending to amuse themselves.
re so strangely constituted that they
AXE no pleasure but in mischief, and
eight in torturing the feelings of a
husband or father by singing out their
emale connections as the object of their
ublic homage, and care not about the
to which they subject
heir helpless victim, provided they can ,
ratify their whims and malevolence. !
rom whatever cause it proceeds, the :
fleets are the same, and the person +
no exposes a woman to unmerited .
bloquy is as contemplate as he is de- :
raved and foolish. The character ola !,
,male coquette is sufficiently odious /
nd repulslve, but when the gentlemen
link proper to initiate the weaknesses
nd vices of the ladies'. they become al |
,gether disgusting. b
The Old Department Clerk. {