The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-02-22
SUNBEAMS.
The best of fasts-Fast asleep.

Attention.
On the track of the milky way-follow-
ing the COWS home to the barnyard.
Why is nursery good place for dan
cling? Because it is regular bawl-room.
One of our Wall street friends wants to
know the difference between the day-rate OF
gold and the nitrate ofsilyer.
There's nothing creates such feeling of
bomesickness as to find Sheritfs oihcer IN
charge of childhood's happy home.
Mr.. Simms says if it wasn't for the hole
in the hoop you couldn't put it on the bar
rel, and the barrel would burst
A man who has been at q crowded ball
said he was fond Of rings on his fingers,
but he didn't admire bellies on his toes.
While man was singing the other day,
"There's Good Time Coming" another
man arose and said "Would you kindly fix
the exact date?
A man made a bet that he could ride
fly wheel in saw-lnil, and as his widow
paid the bet she remarked, "William was a
kind husband, but he did not know much
about fy-wheels." ;"
NJ Irishman ever made greater bull than
the English lawyer who drew up an indict-
ment charging that the prisoner killed a
called an iron pestle.
The husband who informed his wife six
months ago that he would let her put out
the washing as soon as times improved, has
kept his promise. He lets her put it out
on the line. And still she is not happy.
1t has been decided that man can legal
ly kiss the hired girl, if he can prove that
he mistook her for his wife, but how shall
that profit the man when he finds himself
with only one eye and no hair on his head?
"They must have very feeble constitu-
ton in Congress-" said Mrs Partington,
''if they haven't power enough among 'em
to count few votes. Why, Isaac would
do it in five minutes by simple admoni.
tion."
"Why. Nora" cried Mrs. Reginald,
aghast, "why did you boil the potatoes
without removing the eyes?" "Sure, mis-
sus," said Nora, with smile, "an'--an' if
| cut out the petatles' eyes, how will they
see to bOll?"
You can always tell when buzz saw is
going or not by simply feeling of it, but it
generally takes about as long to find the
ends of your fingers as it would to have
gone and asked the foreman of the shop if
the thing was in motion.
"Barber," said farmer to his tonsor,
"now corn's cheap, you ought to shave for
half price" Cant Mr.. Jones'" said the
man of razors. 81 really ought to charge
more; for when corn's down the farmers
make such long faces that | have twice the
ground TO- 90 over"
A modest young lady desiring leg of
chicken at the table, said: an take the
part which ought to be dressed in draw
ers!" A young gentleman opposite immed-
lately said: "1'll take the part which ought
to wear a bustle!' Hartshorn was immedi-
ately administered to the lady.
Scene in the composing room-Composi-
tor NJ. L. "Who has any takes of the
Causes of Death?'" Compositor No. 2: II
have 'ooftening of the Brain" Compositor
No. 8: 81 have inflammation of che Bow
els" Compositor No. 4; II just took
'Poison.'" Is it any wonder that such
mortality prevails among printers?
"Nlen are like by mns," remarks an ex-
change newspaper. "There are short-me-
tire men, sharp, blunt and hasty, there are
long-metre men slow, weighty and digni-
! fed; there are halleluj ujahmetre men, mer-
curial, fervent and inspiring; and there are
eighths-and-sevenths men, gentle genial and
delightful There are also some peculiar
metres.
Judge Walton edited the lockers-on at
| Skowegan, Maine, the other day, though
the bar locked little solemn. He was
| about to sentence a criminal, when he dis
covered the chap cozily seated in the bar
with his attorneys Tie judge manifested
! great surprise, and requested that hereafter
| the criminals might be placed outside the
bar, so that he could distinguish them from
| their counsel.
Mr.. MACPHERSON, who is old enough to
! know better, went down to the rink the
| other afternoon and put on the roller skates
anu STU Oll lllo bdCR II iCCU DClOlC tIlO BLY,
ers stopped him. When he went home that
night and wanted his back rubbed with
salye, his wife shrieked at the display. "For
mercy's sake" she screamed, 'wbat ails
your back?" Calmly he made response,
S'Wrinkles;." "Wrinkles?" echoed his
wife; "do you call great welts and scratches
and Jumps, "wrinkles?" eyes" he said,
with stiled sigh, Skating rinkles"
The minister dropped in very suddenly at
| Deacon Ophiltree's and found that excel
lent man sitting at table with that wicked
Jim Layerick, trying to hide handful of
cards in his pocket. Near the deacon ell
bow there were four straight chalk marks
on the table, and near Mr.. Laverick there
were six. "Ah. good evening, elder. Good
evening"" said the deacon, with great cor
dialty. "We was just looking at the new
shades in red and black; odd sample cards
| those print houses send out, amt they?"
But the elder sighed and said he didn't
know much about print houses.
He sat alone in her fathers parlor, wait
| ing for the fair ones APPEARANCE, the other