The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1878-05-14
MISCELLANEOUS PARAGRAPHS,

choke Utica Herald.
A TOO free use of quinine has made
many of the young people of Memphis
almost blind.
ONE-FIFTH of the 100000 volumes in
the congressional library are piled on
the floor.
A YOUNG lady in Utica is so refined
that she invariably alludes to a Spitz as
ga cuspadore dog"
"BEAuTY and booty" was the cry of
the young man who kissed the girl and
was kicked by her father Darlington
Haackeye.
A CHINAMAN about to die lies with
his feet toward the door, in order that
his soul on leaving the body may have
free exit on its way to Elysium.
DR.. JEFFRIEs, Of Boston, who has
been examining the eyes of Harvard
students for the purpose of seeing how
many are color blind, has found fifteen
cases out of $50 students.
The crown prince of Germany is
MANNED in the left hand, and holds gun
with difficulty. He is good linguist,
and particularly well versed in English,
which he speaks like native.
When the telephone comes into gen.
eral use there will be considerable more
pleasure and safety in telling a man he
lies, than is obtained under the present
constrained and inconvenient system.
No man with mechanical eye can
pay fifty cents for pint box of straw
berries without wondering why they
didn't push the bottom clean up to the
top and be done with it.
A MAN on Marlboro street didn't go
home the other night, and when he made
his appearance about breakfast time his
wife said that he must have slept in
cemetery because he smelled of spirits
The new ornaments for bonnets are in
the shape Of golden feathers, gold and
silver fiiag1ee flies, bees and beetles, with
steel points scattered over the wings and
bodies and forming the eyes.
In Bridgeport recently, a shooting
match took place between five Single and
five married men. The Farmer says the
single men won. Of course they did.
Married men are better at lodging than
aiming.
The bewildering set of folds, pufs
and loopings the upper skirts have been
subjected to, give way considerably to
palmer styles. High ruffs and futed
lace have been the decided preference
over collars and neck-scarfs.
AMONG the new acquisitions to the
New York aquarium are several sirens"
from South Carolina. They resemble
very much the proteus Of more northern
waters, with the exception that they are
deficient in hind legs, having the forward
feet only. They are very seldom tran
sported alive.
A. j. CosHOW, while gathering pecans
in Gonzales county, Texas, recently saw
from his place on the limb of a tree some
thing glittering on the ground below.
1t was a Mexican silver dollar. He dug
at the root Of the tree and unearthed
S, GOO worth Of the coins.
AN eccentric banker was cycling with
suspicion bill presented to him for dis
count. " You need not fear" said his
palpitating customer; lone of the par
ties keeps his carriage" "Ah," reioined
the banker {" shall be glad if he keeps
his feet"
LORD DERBY refuses to explain why
he resigned, and nobody seems to know.
But we are inclined that it was because
his pay was stopped. We can imagine
no other cause that would impel cabi-
net officer to resign.-BWlington Hank
eye.
A number of ladies belonging to diff
ferent Catholic churches in New York
are raising subscriptions for the pur-
chase of the painting, "The Descent
from the Cross" by Caracci, which is
valued at $4,000, Their idea is to pre-
sent it to the cathedral.
Nor more than one person in three
has legs of equal length!" the Norris
town Herald announces. We are inter-
ested in science, but not to such degree
that we care to go around with tape
line and measure to see if he is correct,
and take the chances of having one or
the other fly up and strike us.-Fulton
TGaaes
NORTH, the Hungarian actor, has
made complete failure at the Queens
Theatre, London. He is not playing,
and they say at the theatre that he was
Entrusted with scmetar and stabbed
himself. He is laid up now, and can not
walk for the present. "Won't you stay
and COO tho f,roo c,;J o,,o e Al.
PENDANTS to wag who was leaving the
theatre in the middle of Shylock. "No,
I've seen it." was the reply.
AN officer of cadets, at the recent
launch in Chester, Pa, saw his men,
contrary to orders, letting number of
visitors through their ranks. He rushed
up and said, "What are you letting this
rabble through forw A moment after
he discovered that the leader of the rab-
Die % was the secretary of war, who
was as much amused at the incident as
the officer was disconnected.
AN individual suffering from dyspep-
sla calls at a physicians house during
MS consultation hour. The practitioner
him and declares: 81 see how
t is; you need great deal of exercise,
out perhaps your business does not leave
you time. What is your occupation?9
l have been letter-carrier for twenty
i've years."
WILLIAM CALoRAFT, the English
'eteran ex-executioner, is mild, inof-
enslvc Old man, fond of flowers, and
carer Of rabbits He has always evinced
great repugnance to banging man of
Intellect, and asserts that on such occa-
IONS ne would have failed in the task
ad it not been for powerful dose of
lcohol. Calcraft, venerable in appear
nee, grows handsome white beard. r..
A BON riuant who has felt q little faded
I late goes to see his doctor. "Eat
lpltly" saws thn dontor Hcf c:r,nl,