Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1878-11-02

A boy II Warrington he's been ~
rested Tor wanting to kiss everybody.
He 10 probably one Of Mr.. Bsschs9's
Supdsy -school boys.
In England you will sometinss stun
bic upon fortified places when you least
expect il. For instance, Westminster
Abbey has no less than twelve canons.
Prince Bismarck nov weighs. it is
said. $40 pounds. II We had the honor
to share vith him the conviction that il
u by his weight alone that - maintained
the equipoise Of Europe, we shouid be
greatly surprised that he doesn't weigh
more than 2i0 tons.
An infant has its arm bitten off by
an alligator" is the heading Of an arti-
Gle in the Tallahassee Floridiaa. Flor
ida is certainly . long way behind the
spirit Of the age. Almost anywhere
else the parents OF that infant xouid
have had its arm taken OF by doctor.
An exchange says that Handsome
Frank. Boston milkman. has married
one Of the wealthiest and most beauti
full widows Of the Hub" bat il Is prob
able that one Of the ~ealthiest and
most beautiful widows of the Hub has
married Handsome Frank, q Boston
milkman.
BOSTON, Rereid: I'VE must not speak
all We know" Very we'll; but don {
seek to illustrate the ipdivisibility VI
microscopic things by speaking half
speak all you know, yOu should be
more careful hereafter, for the sake Of
truth. to know all you speak.
The Buffalo Erpress declares. without
even limiting at the evidence upon
which the declaration is based, that
Eve induced Adam to eat the apple
by threatening to go off and get di.
vorce." These are dreadful time in
deed, when lovely woman finds even in
age no protection against the ISLANDERS
of licentious press.
A phrenologist has warned Denis
Kearney that he is in danger of apo
plexy. 1t is but another evidence Of
the inscrntibility of the ways of Provi.
dence that to apoplexy at this late day
should have been assigned q mission
which might very properly have been
discharged by Group or cholera-infan.
tum thirty-five or forty years ago.
The burglars throughout tho country
are having rather rough time with the
women here lately. Let one of them
break into the house at any hour of the
night, and the first thing he stumblea
upon is woman with o cooked revol.
yer, into whose unutterable depths be
is silently requested to look. And
nothing is then left him but to plunge
head over heels through the window.
which he does, quite fOrgetful Of the
fact that he might stampede the enemy
by turning a mouse loose about her
feet.
They have good many distinguished
men in Connecticut. There are men
there distinguished for almost anything
you want. They tell us of ''Mr. Girls
void Rogers, Of Mantle, distinguished
az the man who courted his wife for
fifty.fve years." What a couple Of
blockheadsl-wearing out two bedsteads
for all that time, when one would have
done just as we'll.
Two sweet little girls SGT upon the
sidewalk in front of the post Office, one
of them nursing large wax doll. Her
companion asked, in tones of deep
earnestness: "Does 90 have much
twouble wifi 'oor baby? "Oh, GOODNESS,
yes," was the reply; "she cwies mos
all 9 time. She's jes' OWED an cwied
ever since she was born. rs jes' dis.
couraged, an don't fink I'll ever born
any more.
A few years ago Daniel Drew was
worth five or six millions. The other
day judgments against him amounting
in the aggregate to $155. 25S 10 were
sold at auction in New York for 5000.
If Uncle Dan'l had had the forethought
to break his neck six weeks before the
date of his last visit to Wall Street, and
had thus kept out of the way OF the
bulls or the bears, whichever it was
that gored or foored him. he would
have been o rich man to-day.
Old man Holm, of Boston, has re-
Gently experienced, as did King Lear,
Chow sharper than serpent's thanks it is
To have . tOOthless child"
Cap. Holm has son, and that son owed
his father large sum of money. Find
ing it rather inconvenient to pay the
cash, the son conceived the idea of can
ceiling the debt by kidnapping the old
man and shutting him up in lunatic
asylum. This, with the help of a
couple Of cheap slop- shop doctors, he
very easily accomplished, and although
the old man was as sane all the while
as he ever was in his life, yet it took
him two weeks to establish his inno-
cence aud get out. The newspapers up
that way are fearfully severe upon the
young man. some of them going 30 far
- to intimate that hanging is too good
for him. But it 10 not. It is neither
too good nor too bad for him. II 10
the very thing he needs. And he
oughtnt to be asked to wait long for 1t,
either.
Seth Green says. 'the wriggles in
rain-water are the young mosquitoes; /
have Matched millions Of them and fed
them 10 young FISH," The idea Of any
sane mans Matching millions Of such