The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1878-06-28
Miscellaneous.
Troubles Of o Poet.
BY MAX ADFL

BY MAX ADrL-s
While Col. Bangs, the editor of the Arov,
was sitting in his office one day man whose
brow was clothed with thunder entered.
Fiercely seizing chair he slammed his hat
on the table, hurling his umbrella on the
floor, and sat down.
Are you the editorY' he rsk
"Yes."
'Can you read writing?"
"Of course"
"Read that, then," said he, tn. listing at
the Colonel an envelope with an inscription
on it.
B." said the Colonel, trying to
spell it.
"Thats not B; its an S." said tho man.
IS? Oh, yes, l see. Well, the word.
look a little like Salt for Dinner or Souls
of Sinners" said the Colonel.
'No, sir replied the man, "nothing of
the kind" That's my name Samuel H.
Brunner. l knew you couldn't read.
called to see you about that poem of mine
you printed the other day on the "Surcease
of Sorrow"
81 don't remember it," said the Colonel.
"Of course you don't, because it went in.
to the paper under title of Smear C se
Tomorrow
"a stupid blunder of the compositors, |
supp Sc"
"4es, slr; and thpts what / want to see
you abo :. The way in which that poem
was mutlated was simply scandalors, I
haven't slep. night since. 1t expos me
TO derision. People think am au lie.
me show YOU" ,
"Go ahead" said the colonel.
''The f st line, when wrote it read this
way s.
"Lylng by weeping willow, underneath ge 1sle
slope"
"That s beautiful, poetic, affecting. Now
how did YOU vile sheet present it to the pub
lie? There it isl Look at it (! Made it ilad
t. way: ->
Lying to weeping ow to induce her elope.
Weeping widow, mind you A widow
o, thunder aud lightning This is too much?
It's enough - drive any person crazy"
81 am very sorry, said the Colonel, "but
But look here at the fourth verse" said
the poet. "That's worse yet. What 1 said
was: l.lI41AA 'kJaN4ttN
Cast your pearls before the sv me and lose them In
the dirt.
81 wrote that out clearly nd distinctly in
aplain round hand. Now what does your
compositor dc? Does he catch the sense ol
that beautiful sentiment7 Does it sink inte
his soul? No, sir! He sets it up in thi.
fashion: S3>ANA
Cast my prs before the sunrise and love them
''Now isn't that a cold blooded outrage on
mans feelings? Pll leave it to you. if i,
isn't" .s- -, .,,,, gag
Tits hard, that's a 70 said Colone
Bangs. SE-a5aio az971'
"And then take thea fif.h1 verse.a1 In the
original me auscript it said, as plain as day
IightiairerrA rs
Take away the j CLING money; u 's only gttel ng
dross' gfJlT f,1g3l 9IT o5,tl n,
"a man with only one eye, and catarac
over that would have read the words cor
rectly. But your pirate .u'st ,s,--do- yoy
know what he did ? He made 1t read:
Take away your teei ing monkeys on o sorely glan
ded hess - MN E{H EB n II
'By George, felt like braining him will
fire shovel Twas never 50 cut up in IN,
life."
SIT was natural too," said the Colonel.
"There, for instance, was the sixth verse
I..wrote:
am weary Of the tossing OF the ocean as 1t heaves
So "It is lovely line, too; but imagine my
horror and the anguish of my family wher
i opened your paper and saw the line trans
formed into|
I'm wearing out my trouserJ tn eyre open a
the knees!
"That's little too much That seems tC
me like carrying the thing an inch or two
too far. / think | have a constitutional
right to murder that compositor DOM
your"
81 think you have"
"Let me read you one more verse.
wrote:
Iswe the II ng echoes as they roam among the
f's.
And feel my soul awaken to the ecstasy nat
tn
"Now what do you spose your miserable
outcast turned lat into? Why, sir, into
this y
smell the frying shoes as they roast along The
bulls
"And peel my soul mistaken to the erertary that
wt'r7."
"Gibberish, sir Awfr' gibberish,
must slay that man. Where is he ?"
"fie is out just now" said the Colonel
"Come in to morrow"
81 WILL" raid the poet "and will come
armed"
Then he put on IS hat, shoulder>d his