Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1878-07-13
A LITTLE OF EVERYTHING.

A bird in the hand is the best
policy every time.
Blaine and Hamilton (GaiD is
ticket suggested for 1880.
Since the warm weather set in
Lotta and Talmage do not kick so
much.
Isn't it strange that our black
smiths are always blowing and strik-
ing for wages9
Why is early grass like a PEN
knife2 Because the spring brings
out the blades.
Count Andrassy is gone to Syria
on shooting excursion. Hope he'll
shoot the Eastern question.
The paucity of jokes in England
is explained by the fact that it takes
30 shillings to make pun.
"Mamma," cried a little three-year
old, pointing to plate of doughnuts,
'peas div me one EN- fed holes"
Senator Don Cameron has six chill
dren. The eldest is handsome girl
of 81, whose stepmother is only 10.
The erophone can call boy louder
than any mother, but it can't do for
him afterake lodges in the gate what
mo.her'cAn.
A young man who is given to ath-
letic sports would like to know when
the much talked of Anglo-Saxon race
is to come off.
"You call that a trunk, do you2"
growled a detected hotel porter. at
only needs lightning conductor to
make it look like boarding house."
Paddy's Description of fl ddle-
1t was the shape Of turkey, and the
size of goose; he turned it over on
its back and rubbed its belly with a
stick, and och st. Patrick! how it
did squale!
"Bridget," said a mistress to her
Irish servant, "Where's the gridiron"
"An' shure, nam, Use juth afther
givin' it to my Cousin Jane Ann
O'Flaherty; the auld thing is so full
of holes it's no good at ALL
A youngster persuing chapter
in Genesis, turned to his mother and
asked if people in those days used to
do sums on the groundl He had
been reading the passage: "And the
sons of men multiplied upon the face
of the earth"
The citizens of Burnett County,
Wisconsin, have recently been ex-
cited in apprehension of an outbreak
of the Chippewa Indians, who they
believe has formed a compact with
the Sioux. There seems to be little
4r no cause for the scare.
81 Here is chance for inventors. A
year ago last winter the Legislature
Fof Wisconsin passed a law offering a
bounty of $4,000 for tho invention
of steam road wagon capable of
hauling heavy load on a country
road at the rate of four miles an
hour.
An eminent physician of Chicago
says he cures ninety-nine out of one
hundred cases of scarlet fever by CIV
ing the patient warm lemonade with
gum arabic dissolved in it. A cloth
wrung out in hot water and laid
upon the stomach should be removed
as rapidly as it becomes cold.
A shoddy girl in the coal oil re-
gions in the East, who had fallen in
love with the Bohemian Girl" which
she had heard for the first time, visit
ed music store the other day and
asked for "The heart boiled down
with grease or care" and "When l
swallowed home made pies" The
clerk at once recognized what she
desired.
A little four-year-old, being told
by young man in the village to get
off his knee; that he was too heavy
to hold in that way, made quite
sensation among the parties present,
by lisping back, "Too heavy, heya
Sister Kate weighs one hundred
pounds more than l, and you held
her on your knee over two hours last
Sunday night"
Byron Montclair wishes we would
give our opinion on his spirited
poem, "The sun sits low in the cloudy
west" 1t is fraud. We live in
the west and have lived here every
since we can remember, and we can
assure Mr.. Montclair that the sun
does not "sit" here, and has never
sat here to our knowledge. Our i'm
preston Is that il sits somewhere in
Ohio, and his song will have to be
modelled accordingly. t.