The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1878-05-08
A Shocking Bad Confession.


Uncle Sam (hearing noise outside goes TO
the door and observes two seedy looking men
waiting to be spoken to)-COme in. What
can do for you?
Enter McLin and Dennis-Some fellers hez
robbed ye down in Floridy. We come in TO
confiss their sins
Uncle Sam Ito McLin)-Well, man, what
do you know about it?
McLin-Well, yer honor, they seen big
pile of yer property and they tux it unob-
sarved.
Uncle Sam-How do you know?
McLin-I seen EN- do it, yer honor, right
feminist me eyes.
Uncle SamEWhy didn't you prevent it or
give an alarm?
McLin-Sure l was wild 'em. didn't
name to stale, but l think / was uncon-
sciously mesmerized!
Uncle Sam-You actually helped the other
thieves to carry off the plumber, did you?
McLin-Yis; did 1t all by mysilt; 1 was
mismeriZed.
Uncle Sam-Well, where is the property
now? what did you do with it?
McLin-Sure, carried it off and gave it
to Rud Hayes. He's a Twin on it now
this minute-the vagabone and thafe of the
woods was mismerized.
Uncle Sam-"Mismerizedw Well, you
haven't been "mismerjzed" ever since-all
McLin-No, faith; | bin tryin' every day
to git some of the stolen property back.
Uncle Ssm-For me?
McLin-No, for me.
Uncle Sam-0h0l That's it, is it?
McLin-Yis-obo, that's the very thing.
Uncle Sam-Did he promise to give you a
part of the stolen goods?
McIin-Faith, he did, or frind of his did
He said if / d do all the shtAlin he'd give
me some of the loot; an yer honor-its the
truth M tellin' yes-divil baporth have
got sight of. The auld villain.
Uncle Sam-I understand you to &C
knowledge that you appropriated the goods?
McLin-Whats that, yer reverence?
Uncle Sam-Stole the goods-you say you
stole them yourself.
Mclin-The saints presarve me, tux 'em
but was mismerized. yer honor.
Uncle Sam-And il this Rud Hayes you
speak of had given back part of the goods,
would you have used them?
McLin-Wud hog ate acrons, yer honor?
Uncle Sam-And, in that case you
wouldn't have told anything about the rob-
berry?
McLin-Av course not Why should l,
yer honor?
Uncle Sam-And it is because you didn't
get any benefit from the robbery that you
exposed this Hayes?
McLin-Yis; he's dishonest and traitor
Gus auld divil.
Uncle Sam-Well, Dennis, what's the mat
ter with you?
Dennis-Same thing, yer honor, long life
to yell / stole some of your things that
some other Teller tould me this teller wanted
and not clint has he ever given me for it.
Uncle Sam-How came you to do such
wicked thing?
McLin-I was mismeriZed.
Uncle Sam-And you didn't either of you
know that you had done anything wrong till
you found that there wasn't to be a fair di-
vide?
Botb-Yis, that's it, yer honor; we're aw-
fully chated, and we two arpbsnts, and large
families depinding on US for an honest livih'
At this juncture Uncle Sam stepped off
the porch and unclaimed seven bulldogs
that he kept for purposes of moral suasion,
and merely said: "S-s-steboyi' The dogs
and the two honest informers started stimuli
taneously for the front gate and long reach
of open country beyond. Uncle Sam smiled
blandly, and went in TO continue his ex-
periments with the photograph. And as he
turned the little vocal cylinder, it said:
"Ha! Ha! Hal Ha! Ha.-Ha-ha-hal Ha-hal"