, 1878-04-26
The Bamed Boy.

According 10 the Ocsl sCleuliuS ouIhoi-
tiles the small. boy becomes boy vt the
age of IS. At that age he ought to put
away mall-boyish things, and put on the
bashful awkwardness of semi-intelligent
boyhood. At all events, he ought to
know that his presence is not desired by
young men who come to see his sister.
We do not expect this amount OF intelll-
gence in the small-boy, and it is often
necessary to bribe him with candy or to
persuade him with clubs before he will
consent to treat his sister with common
humanity; but the 16-year-old boy usu-
ally perceives when an area of courting,
accompanied with gradually increasing
pressure in the region of the waist and
marked depression of the parlor gas, is
about to set in, and thereupon discreetly,
even sneeringly, withdraws.
Master Henry T. johnson, of Warrens-
burg, ILL.,, is boy who has Just reached
the period of boyhood, and who is re-
markably clever in the invention of traps.
If you were to ask him to make you any
variety of trap, from rat-trap up to a
man.trap, he would satisfy your demand
with promptness and skill. His fathers
premises, both inside and out, is infested
with traps, and there is no style of ami
NAL inhabiting Warrensburg that has not
been caught in one of these traps. One
morning, early in January, It'll confident
ly asserted that no less than two cats,
tramp, a small dog, six chickens, and
three small boys were found in Mr.. John.
sons yard in the close embrace Of cor
responding number of traps. The truth
is the boy has real mechanical genius, and
1t is a great pity that he is so totally
lacking in modesty and a regard for the
rights of others.
Last fall young man, who had met
Master Johnson's sister at picnic and
escorted her home, was seized with
great admiration of Master Johnson's
traps, and evinced great fondness for
that ingenious boys society. In fact, he
engaged the boy to give him series of
lessons in trap-making, and seemed to
throw his soul into rat-traps. Gradually
this passion began to fade, and the young
man, instead of studying traps in the
back yard, formed the habit Of resting
himself-as he called it---in the parlor
with Master Johnson's sister. The boy,
of course, could not consent to hurt his
friends feelings by abandoning him to
the society of a mere girl, and, therefore,
followed him into the parlor, and monop-
olized the conversation. After time the
young man openly abandoned the traps,
and only visited the house in the even
ings; but Master Johnson, mindful of the
laws of hospitality, always spent the
evening In the parlor, and more than
once apologized to his friend for the 81.
lence and general uselessness of his sister.
His astonishment, when one eventful
evening the young man, with the full
appreciation of his sister, deliberately
told him to "get out" and informed
him that If he had not sense enough TO
know that he was a nuisance he would
try to knock sense into him with base
ball club, cannot be expressed in words.
Not only did he wonder at the un-
scientific idea that sense can be impaired
with baseball club, but he could not
comprehend the young mans sudden dis.
like of his once-courted society. How.
ever, he promptly Withdrew, and devoted
himself to schemes of swift and deadly
vengeance.
For the next week Master johnson
spent large part of his time in the par
lor with the doors locked, alleging that
he was perfecting new invention, and
that his intellect could not work except
in quiet and seclusion. Strange as it may
appear, he told the truth. He was per-
fecting new kind of trap intended for
the benefit of the rude young man and
his unnatural sister. The former was ac-
customed to sit in large easy-chair, and
the latter in small and fragile rocking
chair on the opposite side Of the room
10 each Of these chairs he affixed most
ingenious trap, which was concealed un-
derneath the seat, and was so contrived
as to be sprung by the weight of any
person that might sit in the chair. If the
young man, for example, were to sit down
IN his accustomed chair, he would be in.
stantly clasped around the waist by a
par OF iron arms, while two other iron
clasps would sieze him by the ankles. A
like result would follow any attempt of
the sister to seat herself in the rocking
chair, and it was Master Johnson's in.
tention, after having caught his game, to
leave them in close confinement, and to
then read them severe lecture upon
theiI rudeness.