Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1878-11-14
B,,ah'sAdvlco to To1ng BoUsekeepers

A little woman with a tear trembling
on the end of her nose had been walking
up and down the hall for ten minutes and
as the last visitor departed she entered
the parlor where Bijah superintends the
operations of justice, sank into the rock
ing-ehair, and timidly asked:
Mr.. joy, can trust you?'
Madam, you can, he promptly replied.
Il don't like to hear man praise himself,
but believe can go to any grocery in
Detroit and get trusted for one dozen
clothes-pins without having to leave any
security whatever. now have in my
possession thirty-five cents which were
handed to me by street-car driver to buy
him some tinted notepaper, and if en-
bezzle one cent of it, 1 hope to be bald
headed all my days! Yes, madam, you
can trust me-
I'll was married about three years
ago. began the woman, after considera-
BILE hesitation.
Don't doubt it in the least, madam land
suppose it was case of love2'
st seemed so. Ny husband seemed to
think everything of me, and know al
most worshipped him. We were very
happy until year ago.
Yes, 1 suppose SO, madam
"A few months ago. she softly contin-
ued, she began finding fault because did
not use more big words in talking, and he
said that my grammar was perfectly aw-
full. Net-a day passes that he does not
upbraid me, and sometimes 1 even wish
that was dead.'
Madam, does he find any fault with
your cooking?'
NO, not any,
sAnd in making the bed, you don't gel
the foot the highest?'
tOh, no!'
FAnd he never finds buttons off his
shirts--never comes home to meals and
finds the stove cold and you gossippine
over the gate?'
HE never has had to wait one minute
for any of his meals, sir
your husband had no fault to find FOL
year or two--didn't seem to notice youl
lack of big word while the honeymoon
lasted?'
NO.
very well, madam, your husband'i
coat is too big to fit him in the back, bu
I think we can put another on him. Nov
then, will you do as tell you top
oh, sir, couldn't poison him--cOulC
not do such a thing!' she exclaimed.
tPizen, madam! Do resemble fiend
Do 1 seem like murderer? l don't wan
you to kill him, but want to help you t,
win back his love and get his nose dow1
where it used to be. What time do yol
have supper?'
AT six, sir.
| well, you go home from here and up
set twoor three chairs in the sitting-rOom
toss the broom out doors, scatter the con
| tents of the work-basket around tn
house, and make things look as if ther
had been tramp meeting held there pu
in just half enough tea, burn your bis
cult, and for sauce put up the hardes
I peaches you can find in the market. A
he comes have an old dress on and you
hair down, and the minute he enters tn
house, you must remark that the lowell
ness of the evening seems to percolat
the entire catastrophe of the hygienic in
fiuence. Big words. you see-gramma
till his hair stands up! And if he find
fault with the supper tell him that tn
encumbrance appears to elucidate tn
tarantula, and if that don't fetch him 20
can continue to affiliate with the papulis
tic enigma. Give him big words and ba
biscuits-XXX grammar and slopply tea
and I'll bet five hundred bag-pudding
agin penny whistle that he'll get u
from table with his nose as low down a
the mercury in January.