Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1878-09-25
For the Freeman.
A Chat with Farmers.
No. Is.
BYSAGRIC0LA.

Just how far may parents insist on oh.
iections to the proposed marriage of their
daughters, and how far should the parties
respect the objections of parentsP 1t is n
great misfortune in any case, that thu
mother has failed so to educate her daugh
ter that she will not judge correctly rs to
the propriety of her proposed marriage re
lations, and, if doubtful, seek her. counsel
But in the final issue we must take thu
facts as we find them.
The question supposes that there are in
superabe objections to the proposed mar
riage, in the estimation of the mother. A
have said. she may always advise in such
matters. 1t is her right and duty (if hel
objections are well founded) to use all her
influence and power of persuasion TO pre-
vent such marriage. But may she in.
Sisl? Let US here make distinction be
tween the right and expediency Of such II
course. My observation has confirmed
the opinion that violent opposition to the
marriage of daughter tends to defeat the
end in view. believe that elopements
and secret marriages are often the direc,
result of such opposition. So far, there
fore, must regard it inexpedient TO insist,
since that course tends to aggravate the
evil. Some milder measures might have
been successful. The abstract right iii
such right exists) avails nothing SO long
as it is inexpedient.
After all. | must admit that there are
cases where it is not only the mothers
right but duty. to insist on objections
which she deems insuperable to the pro-
posed marriage of her daughter. For in
stance, that daughter may propose to mar.
ry man who has already wife Gin New
England-not in Salt Lake, and who in
tends to secure divorce from the wife fol
the purpose of marrying this daughter
The writer has met with one such case
The proposition on the part of the sutton
implied radical defect in his character
and the proposed marriage is wrong and
full of peril to that daughter.
Again, that daughter may propose ia
marry man who has disgraced himself
by crime, or debused himself by beastly
habits of intemperance. Such marriage
is likely to result in untold and lifelong
misery to the wife, and if her mother can
prevent the marriage it is her right and
duty to do so, and by whatever authority
necessary. But if this marriage has beer
consummated without the mothers knowl
edge or consent. she has no right to dis
own and cast off that daughter. Such g
course is unnatural and inhuman THAI
daughter is still child, and has claims
upon parents which they cannot ignore.
My answer to the last part of the in
quiry as to the obligations of parties, may
be brief. 1t is implied in what I bavt
said upon the first point. Abslractly. it i.
the duty of children to respect the opin
ions and wishes of their parents, and upor
this subject especially, because it involve!
80 deeply their future happiness and wei
fare. And in all cases where parents have
n right to insist on account of doubtful
character and wrong conduct, children
should respect their objections and homo
their decisions.
l can imagine a case Gndeed, have
known cases), in regard to which th,
views and actions of parents are so decid
eddy wrong that children of mature az,
and loyal purposes would be justified il
seeking their own happiness, against tn,
wishes and commands of their parents
For instance. two suitors seek the hand o
IL daughter, one of whom she knows to b,
a man of principle and character, ant
whom she has found to be congenial il
disposition and tastes, whose sincerity ant
affection for her she cannot doubt, ant
whom she loves sincerely. This man il
her choice. Her parents prefer the olbe
man on account of his social position
wealth or learning, and although she ha
no interest in him, or love for him, the,
insist that she reject the former one ant
accept the latter. In all such cases hav,
no doubts that the daughter is justified il
following her own judgment and feelings
and against even tie consent of her par
ents.
/ have discussed this question from tn
mothers stand point. for the most part. 70
the mother has the most 10 do with he
daughters.