River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-11-07


or four years without paying for it will
pasture goat on the grave of his grand
father
The grand and awful difference be-
tween a tree and bore is-hurrah, now
the tree leaves in spring, and the bore
= why, he never leaves Syracuse San
day Times.
Scientific men say that person is half
an inch taller in the morning than in the
evening. In spite of this we all know
that men get fearfully high in the even
ing sometimes.
The woman who drives is never so
complacent as when she stands her horse
on the street crossing, and sweetly waits
for the tardy shop keeper to te up
dozen bundles.
"Whose bread I eat, his song sing"
A penniless music teacher, who married
a thrifty bakers daughter in Chicago,
has dedicated march OF his own com
position to his father-in-law.
"One half of the world don't know how
the other half liveln exclaimed gossip
ing woman. ooh, WE'LL eaid her neigh
bor don't worry about it, ''tisnt your
fault if they don't know
Here it is ten o'clock" exclaimed Mrs
Mic, "and Ann is not in vet. She prom
ised faithfully to return at eight" "Have
you forgotten, said her husband, ''that
an is an indefinite article2'
Annual income twenty pounds, annual
expenditure nineteen six result happi-
ness. Annual income twenty pounds. annu-
al expenditure twenty pounds ought and
six. result misery. Htcacber.
No newspaper writer should say word
about banged hair and tight dresses.
Europeans over here on visit would be
asking where all our idiots are kept
they didn't meet any on the streets.
Love impresses its tender image on all
its environments. Even the scattered
penaut shells at the front gate Monday
morning are silent witnesses Of It's all
embracing sway. BOStbn Transcript
Probably the mild eyed goat is the
only animal ever invented that can eat
twenty four hours day, and then get up
an hour before day and devour a -four
barrel and seven old fruit cans for lunchy
In the state of Alabama the negroes
chew the tBssel of the fir tree instead Of
tobacco. and seem quiet pleased with the.
substitute. Well, does not the cid adage.
say, "Be fr-chewers and you wilt be-
happf!'
The indianapolis Herald has discovered
that the number of fools is to the number
of wise men as the number of times one
gets nothing for something is to the num-
Der of times one gets something for moth.
ing.
Ask who'll 60 after water?" at base
ball match, and fifty urchins will poke
their heads over the fence, while, If q
gang of men at work on the street ask the
question, the silence is as thick as
molasses in cold weather.
In these times of trouble it is well to
recall the philosophical remark Of the old
lawyer, during the war, who, when tsld
by an alarmist that every thing was going
to HI, replied, "Well. we should be
thankful we have hi to go to-"
A Michigan woman says she hopes
never to go to heaven unless there are
post-otfices there. She can think OF
nothing nicer than to be handed fat let
ter in brown envelope by the general
delivery clerk.
"What fine dark hair you have got,
Miss NJ! NJ wife, who is much
younger than you, hasiher hair quite gray,
"Indeed, 2 rejoined Miss M, IF had
been your wife my hair no doubt bad
been gray too"
The Nation thinks nat a part of the
drill cf every girls school ought to be
the reception by wife in an old gown
to dinner of corned beef and cabbage of
an unlooked-for guest, thoug htlessly
brought home by reckless husband.
The exclusive influence of the mother
over the son Tor the most part ends in
positive disaster or comparative failure;
and licentious self-indulgence, elfcminacy
or piggishness is the almost sure result Of
the experiment.-L London Truth.
The Philadelphia Times has a depart
ment;headed. MEN and Things 1t is all
right to give thc man the first place,
but does the Times consider it the most
gallant thing in the world to snub wom
an by calling them such name2--Rcch-
ester Erpress.
M. Labouchere in London Truth re-
marks: II found the wife of a Hampshire
blacksmith working at the anvil the 9TH
er day, the hammer rising and falling
with case in her practised arms. | pit
led her husband, should she ever, like Joe
Gargarv's wife, go on the rampage"
There are some days when it is impos
sible to think, and when it is unwisdom
10 try to do so. The mind, ike the maid,
has whimsical spells of wishing to be let
alone and having its own way. Only on
certain days are the oracles to be consult |
ed.----A. w. ,SteUens.
It is better for ordinary boys to be
hungering after the world of iaedpend
ent action for which they are not as yet
mature enough, than to be tossing about
on the ripple of small suscephbililies and
emotions, without either great ambition !
or high aspiration to guide thein. Len |
den Spectator.
If | should marry Eliza Jane" said s |
son-in-law. Il should frankly |
confess one thing in ADVANCED am OF |
rather a hasty temper and APT to get mad 1
without cause. !" "Oh, that'll be all right /
blandly replied the dear old lady; II
shall 20 and live with you, and I'll seq |
that you always do have cause"
Careful experiments have shown thsS
wheat cut twelve to fourteen days beforS |
tie grain is fully ripe weighs heavier 4
measures more, is of better quality, ara /
yields larger proportion of flour. There
Is going to be a second crop Of good has
ia many localities, on account of the
recent rains. Grass, when made into hay
contains IA to ID per cent. of water: ia
the green state some so per cent. Th9
dry part contains, besides its nutritious
sustance, gum. sugar and oil, and about
so per cent. OF woody fibre. The time Of
cutting grass has much TO dc with the
1utririous value &C lay. When the leave
and stems are green they contain largg
quantities of sugar, gum, ctc part o.
which is changed into woody fore a$
hey ripcn. A large quantity Of poos |
nay is brought to market simply because
farmers are not particular a. To the time
If cutting their hay.