Litchfield enquirer., 1878-12-26
CLIPPINGS.

A shear ally-The paste pot.
 A young man with his first goatee may be said to have tuft time of it.
 Indians never kiss each other, and, having seen a few Indians, we cart blame them.
 The most popular marksman just now is
 The angel of mercy has filled the cradle of Mir. and Mrs. Moses Gleason, last week.
 It is impossible to properly poise an opera glass without the equipoise of big seal ring on the little finger
 He that hath no music in his sole is fit for usher undertaken, table waiter or some such thing
 When Mrs Sardence gave birth to triplets, the other day, the old man remarked that she was a regular "baby mine."
 Talk about meauness-what shall we say of a man who bores hole in trade dollar and pockets the boring Musical note: The king of the -Feejee Is- lands is said to relish" Baby Mine'' very much. He likes it well done, too.
 A lecture such title as this onght to. take in Chicago, ''Some Mistakes of Bank Presi- dent or Trip Through Europe"
 "This business is being carried too far, {" shouts the end man minstrel in his search around. the stage, ''here some one's stolen nag bones."
 It is poor week when the New York de- tectives can't secure from fifty to seventy five '-clews." Having secured them, the detect ives sit down and take rest. 
 ''Och, thin, but it's yerself knows how to spake the words of God shure we niver knew what sin was till ye came amongst us," said an enthusiastic 1rishwoman to an eloquent re- | vivalist.
 The Detroit Free Press statistics prove that blue-eyed women commit the most murders. We thought it was the green-eyed monster { that stood at the head of the class.
 At the menagerie: Visitor-How old are those elephants. Keeper - Nearly twenty years old, sir. Visiter-Ab, see; they are yet in their elephantines. His money was re- l funded.
 An exchange says that when Solomon was arrayed in all his glory he didn't have a pair of stockings or Picadilly collar to his name. But then Solomon's robe may have been of the ulster pattern.
 A New Hampshire man got up out of bed to light lamp and fell down dead Our read- CTS will bear witness that we have always pointed out that this getting up at night is a mans wife's business
 A fearful suggestion. on.-Fred (to chuml-I dreampt about you last night. Bobi Bob-I hope it was pleasant? Fred-O, yes! very pleasant while it lasted. dreampt that you paid the ten dollars you owe me- |
 A lady named Mary Magui-ah
 Had trouble in lighting her fi-ah; l The wood being green, l She used kerosene.-
 (Pduse. Then continue solemnly,)
 She has gone where the fuel is dryah
 To cure a person of slnging "Whoa, Emma Take of sulphuric acid one part. strychnine two parts, Paris green one part, hydfocyaniC acid eight parts Administer full dose the moment the unfortunate person exhibits any symptoms.
 It is profound problem in connection witl boyhood that it requires about four hours te learn verse of Scripture by heart, and no more than four minutes to learn verse oi comic song sung by the end man at the min l strels.
 A correspondent wants to know ssHov Oysters are Fattened?" We never fattenet oysters, but we suppose they are penned up like turkeys, couple of weeks before kill ing, and fed on corn meal, chopped meat and mush and milk. Don't crowd too many in pen. If the oysters are for church fair stews i is not necessary to fatten 'ems A young New York man, travelling in Kan sas, recently received the despatch, sReturr . immediately; you are father" On the ev, of his return his friends determined to play joke on him. They procured from the neigh borhood three other babies, placed all four in row on bed in an adjoining apartment, ant covered fhera up. When he arrived he em braced his wife in great delight and was thel led forth to behold his first-born. When tn cover was raised, an indescribable look 0 surprise overspread hls ceuntenance, and b exclai ned: Gracious Did any of them ge l away5"