The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-07-15

| otuoE edIS 100 long.
At recent church rattle in Nevada one
man drew a crowbar. That's a nice kind
of pry's to offer.-CGnSul CutLtn.
An aged African, in describing how he
felt when he took hold of gavanic bat
terry, said, MY voice clung to my jaws"
A soldier can smooth his way to promo
ton by scraping close acquaintance with
the right and left flies of his company.
We have young friend whois so copious-
ly freckled that he makes a good thing of
ii by hiring himself out as 'arainer to the
trade"
When you hear them talk of "a horse
marine" you may depend upon it there is
no reference made to a sailor with sore
throat.
The sparrows are all numbered, and so
will the swallows be when the jingle of the
Mofett register is heard throughout the
Land.
When the train stops five minutes for
refreshments at Troy, N. Y, the thirsty
ones all start for their drains, knowing it
TO be q Troy wait.
A person who had obtained free rail-
road pass asked the road agent if che could
not embrace his wife" 'Probably," the
official answered, but prefer to see her
before promising positively"
Servant (to Irish laborer): "IIere is some
| beer, Pat, if you care to have it; but Pm
afraid it's quite dead" Pat: "Oh dead,
is it? Sure, then, darllut, it's I'm the boy
10 bury it !"
"Well, Mary, you know if you marry
Terence you'll have to keep pig and
wash, ETC., etc." Mary-"Yis, deed,
will if l marry Terence, an dirty pig,
too; SO go home, Mr.. Kinshila, an tel
Terence told you SO.
Prisoners in the Connecticut State Prison
get reduction i'll time of two months from
each year of their term, by good behavior.
This to man serving life sentence must
amount to considerable at the end of his
.me.-Danbury News
A wicked Connecticut man being recent
ly taken ill, and believing he Was about to
die, told a neighbor he felt the need of
preparation for the next world, and would
like to see some proper person in regard
toit; Immediately the feeling friend sent for
q fire insurance agent
One was Baptist, and the other was
Congregationallst. The waiter asked them
what they would order. "a little dipped
toast," said the Baptist. "You may give
me toast also," said the Congregationalst,
cheerfully; but don't dip it-spriukle
with little butter"
A little three-year-old, whose father did
not use a razor, was recently, while on
visit to an aunt, greatly interested in see
ing her uncle shave. After watching him
intently for few minutes, she said,
"Uncle, what do you do that for? Papa
don't wash his face with little broom and
wipe it with knife"
A Frenchman was once sitting by a hum
mer at the songs in a theatre" 1.-The
brute, " "the animal" he muttered to him
self. ''Sir, said the hummer, "do you
mean me ?" Heaven Forbid" he re-
piled. Il am complaining of the tenor,
whose noise prevents me from hearing you
SO clearly as l should have wished"
90, ma, he is just SO lovely !" she said;
'for two whole hours he poured sentiment
into my willing ears" "Lovely! WELL
don't know what young girls is coming to.
don't see how you could let him. If
there's one thing in the world l detest
more than anotherits sentiment especially
when l find it at the bottom of the water
pitcher.
A poor son of the Emerald Isle applied
for employment to an avarcious hunk, who
told him he employed no Irishmen: "For
the last one died on my hands, and was
forced to bury him at my own charge"
"Ah, your honor" said Pat, frightening
up, "and is that all? Then you'll give me
the place, for sure I can get certificate
that never died in the employ of any mas
ter l iver served"
During the dinner the conversation hap
pened to fall upon the household affairs.
A gentleman said carelessly:-"I is very
disagreeable to be obliged to dismiss an old
servant, but still must get rid of my valet
de chambre' "Why?" II have been
asking for foot bath for the last eight
years He has never thought of it, and
really 1 cannot do without one any
longer"
Two Methodist ministers were beginning
a revival in neighborhood belonging to
their circuit During several evenings
they were vexed by the ill-manners of the
audience, many of whom walked about in
the midst of the services. Finally one of
the two brought the trouble to an end with
the happy criticism, 1--WE are travelling
preachers, my friends, but that is no rea-
son why we should have travelling con-
gregation. ...
u-.A~@o ~->-s~-----
a GERMAN PICKwICKs