The Lamoille news. (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1877-1881, 1878-06-12
HIS HONOR AND BIJAH.
An Hour ut the Detroit Central Static
Court.

Biiah came in from his farm with
pants in boots and an anxious look on
his face. All the rain falling from the
roofs of eight large stores, the Central
Station and two machine shops finds its
way over his rancho. Two or three feet
of water won't hurt a farm at all. In
fact, the more you soak dried apples the
more bulk you have, and string beans
do far better where they can go in swim
ming in their infancy. But when a
farm has been soaked through and
through for a month, and is then re-
quired to do duty as lake for two
weeks more, its owner has reason to feel
anxious.
Some of the reporters suggested that
the old man roof over his farm others
decided on boring hole through to
China and let the water out, and a man
from Saginaw thought the city should
pass an ordinance prohibiting any rain
from falling in that locality.
"You are all right-all right" said
his honor, as he came in and understood
the situation. eff it is too wet for
vegetables turn it into frog pond. Mr..
Joy, it is my solemn opinion that with
proper care and management you can
next fall precipitate upon this market
81, 900 worth of frog legs. Give me the
number of square feet in your farm and
I'll tell you just how many frogs you
can accommodate. We can figure on
three layers-one set must stay on the
bottom, one at the top, and the third
must form the middle crust. These
frogs will cost you nothing. You don't
have to weed out and hill up, they need
no polling, and while you sleep they are
accommodating fat. When fall comes you
knock off the lot to the highest bidder,
pocket your cash and fill the pond to
sell to some ice company for five hun
dred dollars, Mr.. Joy, you are sharp,
keen man-you are"
Frogs !" interrupted Biiah, his face
illumined with smile of scorn, "when
I turn from the noble pursuit of raising
Eaters and growing hay to herd frogs,
I'll change my name and leave the
country |"
He walked about, breathing very hard,
and there was still a red spot on each
cheek, as the crier called out that court
would open and Justice balance her
scales.
HE MOVED.
At one o'clock in the morning the
police heard great uproar on Congress
street east, and they hurried to the scene
to find man lying iu tho Ivud with
feather bed, a chair, looking glass,
skirt board, and about dozen other
articles of household furniture holding
him down. Under the supposition that
he had stolen the things, the officers
took the man down.
William Bolton" began his honor
as the prisoner came before him, "this
is q suspicious case. You were found"
"Yes, I know" interrupted the man,
"I know all about it. Those things
belong to me. was moving all day
yesterday, and that was the last load.
That's the fourth time we've moved in
one year. No sooner do we get the car
pets down and the stovepipe iammed
together than my wife is anxious to
move again. I've broken my back in
putting down carpets, cracked my ribs
lifting stoves, and lost flesh lugglng old
beisteads up stairs and down. Now,
judge, send me up Give me the longest
term you canl I want rest. I want to
put in month somewhere where I can't
hear anything about moving"
"Man of Sadness" softly replied his
honor, "Tve been there. know how
the old thing works. Isympathize with
you, and while I cannot send you up,
hope that your wife will let you have
rest or that you may be run over by
street car" ...
"Judge, drop tear for me when you
see my death in the papers |" ...
ST will p
"And have the papers say that moving
killed me-"
81 will do SO, and now-move on"
NO F1oURIsHEs.
"What is your name, sir?" asked his
nv mama 10 Wrinod1rt was the
mournful reply, nothing but J.
Wright. haven't any fourishes on my
name. and I don't even ask folks to put
a big 'W' to it."
"But YOU were drunk with a big d ;
to it last night"
"I know it, Judge, I was thereon
the spot-commanded the squad, so to
say. Yes, it was big drunk, full OF
ioy and bliss, but the vase is shattered.
This is cold world, your honor"
"I think I can warm it up for you,
Mr.. Wright. You not"
"Judge, allow me to interrupt you
for one moment in order to return my
thanks for the great inter est you take in
my welfare. There-you can go on !!
The court was exactly seven seconds
in sentencing him for thirty days. Mr..
Wright received his g commission with
smile and bow, and as he turned to
depart he said:
"Thanks-thanks. True friendship
cannot be bought with cash. I will now
retire and prepare my toilet for the