davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-07-03
SchrObiker'S Mistake.

SchrOblker was going along Fourth
street the other morning, when he saw q
lady just in front of him, with q braid
hanging down her back
"Umph! Well, if that amt Kate" he
mused wonder where she's bound
for?" and reaching forward he slyly
grabbed hold of the braid and gave it a
quick hard phil, thinking of course to
first alarm his sister and then surprise
her with his presence.
There, was II surprise, but it was
different from the one he had planned
for.
A woman with black eyes, swapping
like bonfire, threw up her hands to
catch her falling switch, and then turned
around and gave him look that made
his bones ache. And when he saw tina
she was not his sister, but strange,
frantic looking woman that he had
never seen before, he felt that he would
willingly swap himself for a cancelled
postage stamp, and consider it a tip-top
bargain. He blushed and mumbled,
and bowed and stared, and chartered
out an incoherent apology that he had
made a mistake, and that he had
thought she was his sister, and all that,
but no words could appease the wrath
of the woman who had been snatched
bald-headed IN that shameless and pub
lie manner, and the words of vitriol she
dashed upon him, as he beat retreat
around the corner, are burning in his
ears yet.
1t is safe to predict that Mr.. Schrobik-
er will never mistake another woman
for his sister without first assuring him
self that she is not armed with black
eyes like daggers and a tongue like a
raZOr-HOustOn Journal. ...
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-07-03
a City in Two States.

This is perhaps the only city in the
world that had two mayors and two city
governments, police, ETC., and taxed in
two states. The line between Tennessee
and Virginia is the centre of Main street,
and it gives rise to many funny scenes
as, for example, the runaway couple
need no coach and four but, arm in arm,
step across Main street and are welded.
The fugitive commits crime in Vir-
ginia, goes to the pavement on the othe
side Of the street, and talks defantly to
the officer on the opposite side, who has
warrant for his arrest. A misstep or a
too bold disposition will som etimes, how
ever, bring him to grief. Several
instances have occurred of fugitive
being hustled across the line by party
prepared, while in the act of holding
such a conversation, and they tell of a
man who definitely perched himself on
pile of store boxes within six feet Of
the line, jeering the officers on the other
side, but, unfortunately for him, some
law-ablding citizens tilted the boxes
and when he reached the ground he was
in the other state.-Bristol, Phih1delphia,
Press.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-07-03
Old Ladies' in France.

The French lady has a graceful ability
in managing the art of growing old
pleasantly. She does not become a
risky dowager, whose back view inai-
Gates five and twenty, but whose facial
frontage clearly says that at sixty-two
cheeks and nose are paying society
penance in muddy notified blue for the
smallness of an erroneous waist, and
that paint and powder have made the
ploughed burrows Of time more per-
ceptiblc. In France nowadays these
venerable ewes do not indulge in lamb
like gambols around simpering boys
whom at first you take to be grandsons,
but on enquiry you find to be flowers"
In England the reverse Of this prevails
both as to graceful age and disgraceful
9ra1ade passion. ''
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-07-03
The Possibilities Of Science.

With the assistance of the micro
phone, which magnifes sound and
aids the ear as the microscope does the
eye, it has been ascertained that flies
have a sort Of language of their own,
from the familiar fuzzing. Mr. Preece,
an English scientist. states that with it
he has heard the tramp of little fly
across box with tread almost as
loud as that Of horse across a wooden
bridge. A curious sound accompanied
the tramp of the fly, which, it was sug-
gested, was caused by the neighing Of
its proboscis. 1t is to be hoped that the
flies have not got habit of repeating
all they hear while walking on the
ceiling; if they have, what disclosures
might be made by some scientific
eavesdropper with stray fly imprisoned
in microphOne!
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-07-03

The HAIR.-German women of the
better classes are universally noted for
fine and luxuriant hair, and this is the
way they manage it: About once in a
fortnight boil for an hour or more, a
large handful of bran in a quart of soft
water; then strain it into basin, and
cool till tepid. Rub into tia little white
soap, then dip in soft cloth and wash
your head thoroughly. parting aside the
hair all over, so as to reach the roots.
Next take the yolk of an egg, slightly
beaten, and with your fingers rub it
well into the scalp. Let it rest few
minutes, then wash off entirely with a
cloth dipped in pure water, and rinse
the hair we'll till the egg has all disap-
peared. Afterward wipe and rub dry,
and comb the hair upward from the
head. Then oil slightly if needed The
most harmless of hair dressing may be
prepared from the following formula
Pure castor oil, two o.; cologne-spirit
(95 per cent? sixteen o.; perfume &C
cording to fancy. % aef
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-07-03

In Cedar county Iowa couple of
agents induced John Kinnan, a
wealthy farmer, to purchase patent
hay-fork, and accept the agency to sell
them. For each three sold he was to
have one extra. They gave him four
forks to start with, and took Kinnan's
receipt, you know, ust to send to the
company. After they had gone, Kin
nan remembered that he had read a
warning somewhere to beware of all
such patent agents. and it troubled him.
He went at once to Upton, where he
found the.agents, and had them arrested.
On investigation of the receipt. it was
found to be an iron-clad snap-judgement
note for $40, which in a few hours
would have been sold to a bank,
ana payment could not have
been avoided. In the bank at Upton
is similar note for 5000, which the
maker will have to pay for the agency
of this hay-fork. Let farmers cut this
out and paste it in their hats. 1t may
do them good. atas'" Il --Fa
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-07-03
Never Too Late to Learn.

Socrates, at an extreme old age learn.
ed to play on musical instruments.
Cato, at eighty years Of age, began tc
study the Greek language.
Plutarch, when between seventy and
eighty, commenced the study of Latin.
Boccacio was thirty-fve years of age
when he commenced his studies in light
literature; yet he became one of the
greatest masters of the Tuscan dialect
Dante and Plutarch being the other
two.
Sir Henry Spelman neglected the
sciences in his youth, but commenced
the study of them when he was between
nifty and sixty years of age. After this
time he became a most learned anti
quarian and lawyer.
DIR. Johnson applied himself to the
Dutch language but few years before
his death.
Ludovico Monaldesco, at the great
age of one hundred and fifteen years
wrote the memoirs of his own times.
Ogilby, the translator Of Homer and
Virgil, was unacquainted with Latin and
Greek till he was past fifty.
Franklin did not fully commence his
Philosophical pursuits till he had reach
ed his fiftieth year. a.
Dryden, in his sixty-eighth year, COM
menced the translation Of the Had, his
most pleasing production.
Thousands of examples Of men who
commenced new study, either for
livelihood or amusement at an advance
ed age could be cited. But every one
familiar with the biography of distin-
guished men, will recollect individual
cases enough to convince MIN that none
but the sick and INDECENT will ever say.
" am too old to learn"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-07-03
A Heather Chinee of High Life.
Virginia New Chronicle.

The Orientals are floating about
good deal over Europe just now, seeing
what they can pick up in the way of
western manners and customs, amuse-
ment, etc. The rich fellows among
them are looked upon as fair game
They look so sleepy that the contem-
plation of them is perfectly delicious.
Some time since London club, where
billiards, ecarte and baccarat are played
for gain, thought they had caught a
Turk, but he turned out to be Tartar
He had become quite noted in the city
as a man of money, by name Lambri,
and he was known to be a pasha. He
strolled sleepily into the club-rooms,
and the lounging habitues exchanged
knowing, chances in view of their
prospective good fortune. 'Would the
pasha play at billiards." eyes, he
would" "The stakes?' He would
leave that trihe to his opponent. All
right. The sleepy Turk won every
game, and added materially to his crisp
tired of billiards. Some member sug-
gested ecarte. Yes, the ,pasha would
play a few hands, although it was get
ting late. He played and carried away
all the money OF. the club. Would he
return some other evening and play at
baccarat? Certainly, he was always
happy to accommodate his friends at any
gentlemanly game. He went again
with his bundle of notes and sat down
to buck against a baccarat bank. All
the currency of the club and bank
flowed into his hands, and then checks
were offered. He took them, with the
same ease with which he captured the
currency. When they broke upoohe
promised them revenge some other
evening. He came, but before he
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-07-03
A SectjOner that COntaminates the
Blood.

When the bile is diverted from its proper chan
nels, into the blood which is always the case in
liver complaints, it ceases to be a healthy secre-
ton, and becomes poison. Its abnormal pres
ence in the circulation and stomach is indicated
by the suffuson of the skin with hideous saffron
tinge, by headaches, vertigo, nausea. pain in the
right side and under the right shoulder blade, by
Indigestion, obstruction of the bowels. and other
minor symptoms. Order may be substituted for
this state of chaos, and further bodily evil avert
ed by using the beneticent Alternative and tonic
lioStetter's Stomach Bitters, which, by relaxing
the bowels, promotes the escape from the circula-
ton of bilious impurities; besides rendering the
action OF the liver regular, and removing every
trace of dyspepsia. This pleasant and purely
nitely more effective than any form of mercury
but is on account Of its freedom from hurtful
properties Infinitely to be preferred TO that pois
OnOus drug. A- ftF H
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-07-03
Wisdom Applied to Ice Water.

We guzzle ice-water with our meals,
and thus send fresh food upon chilled
and inactive organs. We keep pouring
in cold draughts between meals, not
allowing what we have eaten to digest,
but hold it in the stomach to decay and
destroy. Let families recognize the
truth and be wise in time. Drink as
little as possible in hot weather, and let
what is drank be not unnaturally cold.
Neys. r.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-07-03
ROOM AT THE TOP.

Never you mind the crowd lad,
Or fancy your life won't tell;
The work is the work for a that
10 him that doeth it well.
Fancy the world a hill, lad:
Look where the millions stop:
You'll find the crowd at the base, lad;
There's always room at the top.
Courage and faith and patience.
There's space in the old world yet;
The better the chance you stand, lad,
The further along you get
Keep your eye on the goal, lad,
Never despair or drop;
Be sure that your path leads upward;
There's always room at the top. s'
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-07-03
Celebrate the 18th of JuIy,

My new Nickel Plated Seven Shot Steel Barrel
anu cylinder REVOLVERS make a Louder Report
tnan anything of the kind ever invented Just the
tnins 1or hrng Fourth of July Sautes with. Cart
ITugeS TO nj Them can be had at any general store
Onequalled as weapon of defence Sent to any
ADDRESS, postage paid on receipt Of s 90. Send
IN ny, your orders early. &. a. HARRIS Manufacturer
LIZ 9Th av., Chicago. Ill
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-07-03
Driving a Coach Through a Stump.

The Sonora (Cal) Independent says:
" 1t is we'll known, or ought to be, that
the Yosemite tourist, who goes via So
nora, passes directly through the Tuo-
lumne Grove of Big Trees, as fine as
any in the state. In this grove are two
stumps, larger than any others on the
coast. w. S. Priest, one of the Yosem-
tie commissioners, has had a contract
to bore hole through zone of these
stumps for the stages to pass through.
This stump is 33 feet in diameter, and
the hole will be cut through it II feet
wide by 10 feet high, and will be COM
pleted on the 10th of this month. This
fine grove has hitherto been neglected,
but will now be put in order for the in
spection, Of tourists. Trails will be cut
through it, and the underbrush cleared
away, SO that it can be thor
oughly appreciated in all its stately
magnificence.n ob hEG. 11QW .s
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-07-03

Don't USE SoDA-Nor any Of the COM
mon kinds of Saleratus in making bread,
II you value health and desire to have
bread that is palatable. Always use D.
b. DeLand & Co. Best Chemical Snzerat,.s
and you will have a pure article. It
may be had at the grocers.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-07-03

The Baltimore School Board will not
reduce the salaries Of women teachers
this year. They will cut down else
where. sou ~ aa4h2 go
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-07-03

H7s.QCL a3. add Il Hfe Hs4a
ssasss .s4g0e aesmoa t--- .
!. 3t. tsa, .sul. 3.pgA ..4al
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-07-03

Some imported kid. gloves have flow
ers upon the back painted by hand
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-07-03
THE last drop-the Gllows. =

EKlVg Z oTey VxI bn& gg4c'
.noIyo s1ei1a g. oxIa
.SkEasg "a ; 49,, ;ai
The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1878-01-19
rne s1nmh,,.rn,..

The following extract from the Table
Talk OF Napoleon l., is extremely in
teresiing at the present moment: 'One
day, Napoleon said, = / could have
shared the Turkish empire with Russia.
We have discussed the question more
than once, Constantinopie always saved
1t. TINS capital was the great EN-.
barrassme aud stumbling block. Rus.
sia wanted IL, aud would not grant it.
Ii Is too precious key. Ii Is alone
worth an empire. Whoever possesses
IT can govern the world. All the Em-
peror AiexaBder's thoughts are directed
to the conquest of Turkey. We have
had many discussions about it. Al srst
ms proposals piesses me, because
thought IL would eniighIeu the world
to drive those Turks odt of Europe.
But when | reflected ON IL, aud saw the
consequences, and what tremendous
weighs OF power it would give TO Rus
sIa, on account of the vast number of
Gr"eksin Turkey, who would naturally
JOIN the Kassians, refused to consent.
especially as Alexander wanted Cons
stantinople, which | would not cou.ent
to, as it would destroy the equilibrium
OF power
The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1878-01-19

fdehi. and Mrs, Maiits Z EfI.s are tbs
ofaas-tsts ps rssss ~ of ttt- ;ysfse senea
tian. Whether Che e,tirt T. lis IL alive
or not We ts1 not fresu AZ. te sAy. and
II he h. We ~osisli just iiks to ; nov h:4
oplpi"n 81 women 10 general ars s.,sr.
Ia particular. Inc parties seem 50.
pare tIy Well 10 ,io ppDp.s,, aud me
unnatural sou iaysshsc considerable
fueney on his wife who, no doubt,
liked bin better as .s.,ear hubby
than ,uii>hesrted step sou.
When n News reporter called on tn.
eiopists az the Central Eo,tl, New Al
oany, yesterday, they were eeo.iy est
Ing heir dinner In manner Of pfrfect
Indifference, and when stating ocr
mission We we're received with a kla.i
OF caastfc eordiaiity, Mr. Ellis remark.
lag that he was kind OF printer him.
self, ard didn't want anything in the
paper aboBt his running oil; and, fur
thermore, II we did print IL, he would
make cold meat of US. To show him
how badly scared We were, we went
directly to the telegraph Office and
sent thst dispatch. Father Kline, OF
the German Catheiir church, New Al
bsny, performed the ceremony max
ing them msn and wife, after which
they erossed the river 10 return ~
much mixed relations.
The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1878-01-19
n. C..cs-.... Of r.,..,p,..

keokuk Constitution. Because dem.
ocrats approve of some of Hayes Ac,-,
and do not make war upon him. does
not debar them from urging the charge
OF fraud upon the republican party. for
the work they performed in seating
him in the presidential chair They do
not eoncede his right 20 the seat be &C.
e1pies- The wrong to the people has
been none the less because Hayes has
proven better man than his friends
hoped, and his political enemies gave
him credit for. He Is a fraudulent
president sil the same, aud the demo
Gratis propose to right the wrong that
has been committed a-s.Rst The people
at the ballo; box when opportunity
presents itself Until that they will
support the administration IN every
thing.
The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1878-01-19
For Izs HxRALD-l
A CHILI-H0THING MORE.


Once uren midnight dfeary,
White Numbered nress, weasy,
To myself put the Q1efy--
NBat the duece m kes me so sDref
bui my answer shovel no learning,
And no aft.sr hos zhts discerning;
And again soon was turning
10 my sinmbsrs IS before.
eoon again avaked BIZ sneexing-
There my LIMBS uncovered, breex ng--
Aud thuuf lit my feet were freezing,
For The lack Of cover mora.
But the silent midnight STEALING.
Ger me. v hiie turning wlis..iinE,
Past .ae--lefi me naught revealing,
1.-THE spell that shook me DER.
Worried thus. frota turning
From the dark ness out that hover.
Close pulled aoouf the cover,
Tried to Stun Der and TO snore.
All, distinctly | remember,
IL Was in thesamp De srnbcr,
And each ieGiyiduai memh her
Knows how resry cut the door.
Better feelings on the morrow;
Never thought of boots TO torrow,
Ant the strs gest kin 10 50 row.
Thropbed my bosom TO the core.
Ne'r ist sickly ploriais Beaneri
y or swept pains Of feelings keener!
IT'S speti 10 m AXE me iear6r,
IT'S q chill and nothing more.
And my dsrk eyes weakly beamipz,
As a silenced chAid's from screaming.
And the rays OF daylight streaming,
Finds my footsteps on tbs floor.
With that after, burning feeling,
Morn ,ng fon nd me PRAYING, kneelipg,
That the Father with me dealing.
Throws me such shanG" DO more.
REHCTC re
The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1878-01-19

At late hour last night Marshal
Morton, while passing the Las Chance
saloon, on Main street. hearing dis
'urbanee in the place entered and
found young nsn named Swaggart
drunk, aud Il urishing pistol. He
stated that he had just arrived from
Iowa, and wanted to Toe shown the
way TO the Lady Gay saloon, where he
proposed to have lively time. Mar
-hsl Morton arrested the man for ere
ating disturbance and carrying con
cealed weapons. On searching his
pri-oner he found on his person seven
teen hun r-d and eighty-six dollars 10
money, whiuh be took the responsibii
ity of taking care of for him, telling
Swaggart 10 appear before the record
er's court yesterday moruing. when he
would give his money to him. Mar
shall Morton deposited the sum, taking
receipt for the same. Yesterday
morning Swaggsrt failed to appear in
court, tut 1t was owing probably to the
fact that he was suffering from his
nights debsnch- 1t was fortunate for
him that he tell into the officers hands
or he might have Awoke the next
morning to find himself pennies.
The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1878-01-19

days consumed noash 10 masking.
its fztheT Remained t. SET ie ne
Affairs and eel the fam, is.fc alns ia
ststst ss soon IA be cosl.i I'D. up Toe
gentleman &c, hitts eli - SGjuss hi- bt,-,-
ises I, sud euulf 4 al no - i-i,s gur-
eraser Tor the bi- iaad w. ar three
Yeas PASSED IA fruiii.s- fif..is 20 get
ready 10 leave. ana .-rt-eiasTy the
niatteriGg of war vs. I.,ss... ttd
-Peedt'y th. iszc - fissi ,;i.,--id r u
Ell all hope ctfsmlfy - uf,ti. - "a.
ish 1e;li tie eslfl e "a 80 ,r.s-. r..e
SsE over, ubins~ were "a isa -tape f.r
emigisiioa linn r,r-.d 90 a. al the
gentleman has reae "a IS ~ as.,. I'd
fnhrmifie- have taken Loli e him,
aud now ths probability l. lie family
meeting beyond The grave IL ali tia.
Nights up hopes NJ either wing 9th.
long separated family. The family
were bound togethe, by the -trenrs-t
lies, and the long separation bs- hesp
most painful one. IL Is certainly =
most singular history.
The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1878-01-19
Rantinx ~. vie.

Yesterday morning there arrived in
this city a farmer from Boonville,
Missouri, named Thomas Hawson, in
search Of his wife who some two
months since In IN evil hour had
left him. He traced her to Gal
weston, where he learned she rad.
after spending several weeks In the
character of courtezan, lest on
the north bound train, and he had
hoped to find Der 10 this city. He
says that If his wife, whose maiden
name lie Fannie Montague, would
come back ana live with him, that
he would even now forgive her for
what she has done. The man while
speaking Of the matter, broke down
and cried as II It's heart would break,
declaring between his sobs, that he
would always "love her. no matter
what she did" He was to have left
yesterday evening, going north In fur.
Their search OF his estrsuged and way.
ward wife.