The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1878-08-24
GLEANINt,S.

A member of the theatrical profession
who was in town last week looking for =. 4
situation for the season, was advised 10y 4
pcrspiring manager to - make his appear
ancc on an ice cart
A Chicago paper says" Within five
minutes after the alarm of fire VS. given
our reporter was on the ground" \ rival
paper observes: -. We have little doubt Of
H. if he gave the slightest provocation TO
the foreman of the engine company"
IA Crushed Mother-in law " is the
title Of farcical comedy written FOR the
Holman troupe. The author says that he
hopes not only to make audiences laugh,
but ia inspire down-troddcn husbands with
the courage to strike oil their shacklcs and
be free
Lightning came very near killing 4 tree
agent in tins state one day last week. 1t
hit him three times. and if it had got
another good wack at him it would have
fetched him, sure. But by that time the
agent suspected what was the matter and
got away.
One Of the end men OF i newly-organ-
lied minstrel troupe applied at one of our
book stores yesterday for comic almanac
fifty years old. lie explained tha; the
troupe wanted TO Stuiy up stock of jokes
i little frcsher than those used by the
MINISTRIES ut present on tins road That
tTouue Shuuli lac encnuragej
"A Maryland farmer was surprised few
days ago at the return of 4 young pig
which he had sold tn neighbor living four
miles away. The pig was taken away in 4
sack. 1t was the general belief years ago
that pig could calculate latitude and
longitude, as that seemed tn he the only
explanation of their sure return, If liber-
ated, To their birthplace after being taken
great distances in box or bag.
An old soldier in the cavalry had
drunk so much brandy that he needed help
10 mount his horse. "St. Paul assist me. -
said he; the second time, "St. Peter hell.
me, again, "St. Michael give me 4 lift. -
With that he made 4 supreme effort. went
over the horse and fell ON the other side.
He picked himself up gradually, and as he
prepared 70: the next effort he cautioned
the saints thus: " Not all at ONCE
London, Ont, has some inhabitants
of singular intelligence. y little girl, the
daughter of a clergyman, has narrowly cs-
capped death from picking and eating potato
bugs, under the impression that they were
peanuts: while colorcd resident mistaking
the rising moon for couiiagratiou. turned
IN an alarm, aud while racing towards it
the new iirc-engine was upset and smashed,
three men being badly hurt in the opera
ton.
How many really excellent jokes are
lost for want Of proper appreciation. Here,
only 4 few days ago, when the Iowa cxcur-
>lonistS went up to Minneapolis, young
man sat up at the Nicollect half an hou.
one night after his chum had gone to bed.
sewing the legs of the innocent sleeper 5
trousers together. He sewed them strong,
and laughed long and silently after lie
went to bed. as he pictured the scene i'll
the morning. When the morning aawncd,
he arose with the glow of anticipation on
his face, and as it slowly faded away he
sat down upon the side of the bed and
dsicctcdly cut open the bottoms OF his own
carefully sewed trousers legs, and when his
unsuspecting chum asked what ne was
doing, he sighed and said. sadly, "Oh,
nothing Aud he YEARLY thought how
fall OF mcanness was this base, dcceiving
old world.