Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1878-07-19
NO. 10.
Humorous.

will YOU love me when | mold y"
rs the loaf of bread said to the house
keeper,
The farmer Who settles on the open
prairie ought to take With him Il railing
wife.
Nilkic Collins spends rs much money
rs he earns, Shake Wilkic, my boy,
there's hig gang of lis.
!, A man should always know who is at
the other end of the wire before Ne lets
himself out ever II telephone.
Speaking of dancing il Clergyman
says that ''peoplC usually do moro evil
with their tongues than with their toes.
There are boys who viii not follow
Il circus procession or II band wagon
They are under the doctors care.
The Philadelphia Buiittim announces
that the national beverage is ror pop,
and that the science of fireworks is
ii0yology
The colleges are now handling Edison.
Union college has Just fitted To- him the
title Of Ph.D lrhonogMph dcsignor)
Victor Hugo, unable to be present at
Y worklngmcn's meeting, sent them
shake of the hand from the bottom
of hiA heart.
When Emerson rceklosslv wrote
Every natural action Is graceful" had
he ever seen an angry woman throw Il
stone at II COW.
In reply to the question: "Will the
coming man hc bald" The Norris.
town Herald ahirms that che generally
is when ho first comes
political speaker accused II rival
ot 'hntthomahle meanncss,' and then,
rslng to the occasion said ~ warn
hun not TO persist in his disgracelul
course, or he'll find that two of us can
play AZ TINT game
Francis Murphy may ben good man.
but the sooner lie gets through mixing
up the name of Heavenly Father with
hs own signature, the better il wall be
Tor yours truly, Francis Murphy
Detroit tiec Press.
Advice to young writer's. IL yon
would bo clear and forciblc, don't use
iorelgl words. /. BIO natural
Derrick.
The Chicago journal says Joaquin
Miller went crazy because he could
find only one rhyme for Gladstone
~" maidstone" lr he hadn't run away
from home when young he might have
remembered dads tone.
The Endorsement given Hayes hy the
ohio republicans reminds ~ ot the
answer Of Mark Twain when his wife
asked him il lie didn't love their baby:
/" can't say that exactly love him,
hut cnn tolerate him on his fathers
account. Y" BrookbNG Democrat.
An undertakes being asked by n lady
who was employing him ut some house
hold work, whether he would hnvo y
glass new or wait till he Ind finished
his Job, "I'll be tnkin' tho glass moo,
mem" said the artisan, " for there's
been Il power q sudden deaths lntev.
Here lies an old woman whp always wRs tired,
| For she lived In u house where hep WASH hifrh.
--Grdphr
lts likely enough, hut I'll wager a schooner.
That II she'd had help shr'd huNc died all The
ssonei
A Denver paper IN All outburst oi IN
diguation nj tine advertising legends on
Pixies Peak, exclnims: "When Free
dom from her mountain height unfnrlcd
her standard to the mir, she little
thought that naughty men would ad-
T, yerlise hop bitlcrs there.
Mistress But thought you were
very comfortable, Mary Mary
, Yes, mum, but the young man as
keeps company with mo thinks there's
too many gentlemen visitors comes
/ here, and they might wcan me from his
Y Young affections; SO, with your per-
: mission, | will not be II medium Tor
4 contention
. Young manif she fluttcrs oul to meet
o you NJ the gate with y new cofdlallty-li
/ She says " eleven O'Clock isn't u bit late :
. If she invites you to callnguin III conll-
/ dertiaI carncstnesslf she says good
+ night with ii gentle pressure Of her
! dear little hand if she does NIL these
4 things, youg man, be not deceived.
= The strawberry and ice cream season IL
Il here.
G A French newspaper illustrates the
l. high charges in Paris during the cxhi-
Y hition. AT restaurant y gentleman
q who unmistakably does not belong e
J III. light-fngcrcd tribe, is openl mol
{. fIrtiycly showing the spoons and forks
Q into Ms pocket The waiter says: Al
j, low me to observe, MONSIEUR that you
q arc putting the silver articles into youl
q pocket" Well, are they not com
q priscd in the dinncr-bill2 ! thought by
o the charge itincluded everything on th'
+ tablet
!, There is no ridiculous nonsense about
! the.honest Deadweodians. The mos
~ ~ vigorous Walter at dance there las
q q week excused himself at half-past i
y, because lie had Il stage.coach g rob y
sW XIt.4 .al.,,l,. II.,a II II ftfff piIIv