Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1878-08-17
FACTS AND rAxc,es.

" NSsS -
Whom the gods love eat cucumbers.-
Saltwater Lumberman.
A doctors fees, for instance, would you
call them ill.gotten gains ?-FaHadelpha
Bulletin
. Never ask a young lady why her back
hair dosen't match that in front.ANsv York
E1pSe@. w i2a ,5Bt $3.50 M 4s aiLisl
We often pretend to fear what we really
and more often .despise what We
really fear.-En.
""Take away women and what would fol-
low?" asks a writer. Stag.nation Of course.
Saturday Night. estia4124l
Mixed drinks are almost unknown in De-
trolt, and that is why they call it the ''City
OF the straights,"
The verdant cabbage leaf feels perfectly
ut home in the hats Of some men, Similia,
etc.-Hackensdck' Republican.
A conservative is a man who will not look
At the new moon out of respect for that
ancient institution" the old one.
Who fred the Ephesian dome? asks the
editor of the "Nation." Wonder Ephesus-
poets us.--Cineinnati Saturday Night.
There are two things we'll bred people
always do at the table, pass the bread and q
bad hand.-G Glasgow (Kentucky) Times.
If it rests between a new hat and a dog
license, get the license and make the old
hat over. Economy is wealth.-Graphic
The government deaparing of beer being
reduced to three cents a glass has decided
to call in the three cent pieces-Danburq
News. I'LL
A woman has to settle q mans coffee with
the white of an egg: but she can't settle his
hash with a ook.-Glasgow Kentucky Times
There are tramps who have such thor.
oughly cultivated repugnance to work that
they will labor two hours to keep from
working n
Whoever laughed when a fly tickled hi
nose ?-Hackensack Republican. Now, who.
ever saw a fly tickle his nose?-New Yorl
Sunday Ne,rs.
Now fades away the last trace Of revenge.
full feeling against the small boy. who, last
winter logged a SNOWFALL on the back Of oul
neck.-Puck.
Something to wear means this year (at
Saratoga) three new dresses q day with hats
to match, and nineteen costly parasols :
Pittsburg Leader.
A London boulevard weekly hints tina
Mrs. Langtry put a piece of ice down til,
prince of Wales back the other mornin,
after breakfast. S5s
One reason why more people did not &c
into the ark is, that Noah did not advertis,
in the papers. There Is a great moral les.
son contained in this fact.
1t was on entering a barber shop, says al
exchange, that Rienzi said: 1T come no
here to talk" Certainly not he went Their
to listen.-New Haven Register.
Never look in a lumber yard for board
unless you can plank down the ducats.-
Hackensack Republican. What du.cats hav
to say about it?-St. join Torch.
"Ther's no place like home"-unless it
some nice young girls home, when the oil
folks are at class meeting, and the mate
box is empty.-Romeo Of Elneira Gazette.
A woman may not be able TO sharpen
pencil or throw stones at a hen, but she ca
pack more articles in q trunk than q ma
can in q n horse wagon.-Pitsbury Lea
der.
Aman who had been twice married to
woman named Kate, both Of whom mad
his life miserable, gravely adviced his friend
against taking duplicates. -CAicugo Con
merciM.
Miss Annie Berger is playing with tn
Flint City (Michigan) correct band. She
getting to be quite q band-Anna. She wi
make kerchief mark as q band ditty player
-Derter Smith.
According to the New Orleans Times
great men need no monuments" We shal
countermand our order at once. and confer
ourselves with the smooth side Of a slab.-
Eynira Gazette. F,
To the editor Of tht New York SIM IA
2 o'clock DR.. Carver stepped into the fiele
It had been raining hard. He began frin
at the drops, and in; five minutes had shot
dry space Of half an acre around him.
Ell Perkins.
The experienced editor of the Kentuck
New Era, Hopkinsville, says: "Judge Ba.
low has decided that when a man comes hon
drunk his wife has a wright to take his mon
ey out of his pockets. This just has the e
feet Of keeping a fellow away from hon
nearly all the time"
"A chap in Arkansas, in the act Of ran
ming a heavy charge into an old muskt
] was killed by the premature discharge
the piece. The local paper speaks. of it
a tragical affair, but it seems to partial
!. more Of a mellowed-rammer.-Yor Eerssi G.
: zcMc.
: Some Of the female bathcrs at. Lor
Branch have taken to wearing masks
'wire-nct, OF of oil silk on wire frame, viii.
conceal their features from the impertine
stare of male loungers who watch their e,
it from the water.-PAts6ury Leader. Til
precaution applies only to the feature,
the way.