The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1878-07-24
A SARCASTIC NIENDlCAST.

I'm very hungry" said a hag-
gard tramp, with very red eyes,
as he stood bowing obsequiouslv
at the side entrance of a Court
street house. "Won't you please,
ma'am, be so good as to give me
a little something to eat. Any
thing will do-odds and ends
cold or warm-it don't matter, for
I'm not one of them high-toned,
| fried. oyster feliers.''
"My husband has forbidden to
encourage idlencss by giving away
any more provisions" replied tho
lady Of the house. 'He says yoa
fellows have sort of Free Mason
ry way of letting others know
every house at which you have
been fed, and it is sure to bring a
troop of lazy vagabonds upon US
who would starve before they'd
lift a hand to work. So you viii
have to move or and get yous
breakfast some place else"
"But I'm not vagabond,ma'am
I'm a hard-workipg, industrious
man. I came up on boat from
Memphis to see my sick mother
who lives out near Camden, and
isn't expected to live. I was
robbed on the boat of every cent
1 had and all my clothes, while I
was in bed. The captain gave me
these old things. I don't like to
beg, but Camden is a good stretch
from here, and I can't walk it on
an empty stomach. Think Of the
.outstretohed arms Of a poor sick
mother toward her absent child,
and put wings on my feet with a
few cold potatoes. Pm just at
that point where I can eat 'em
without eost.''
II can't do it. They all have
story about like that. The last
man I fed had to go to Columbus
inside Of twenty-four hours to
save an innocent man from hang
ing, but two days afterward l saw
him down town so drunk he
couldn't hold his mouth shut,
"Well, I never drink. If I
hadn't been robbed I could show
you my Murphy ribbon that I've
worn till it's laveled into strings.
Long years ago [ swore at my
mothers bended knee.-the same
one who means on her couch Of
pain because I'm not with her
that I would never touch the
blighting cup, and l hain't from
that time up to this minute. Can't
you help me to get there in time
to comfort her declining hours
with the joyful tidings that I have
been steadfast through all temp
| tation, by giving me the cold
grub you had intended to dump
into the garbage box? Pm awful
hungry"
II can't help il. I must obey
my husband ; his orders were pos
itive," said the woman, snappishly.
"Well, you're the most extra
ordinary woman I ever saw if You
do. But say, can't you give me .
the paper the bcefsteak was
| brought home in, to chew as I go
alorg. 1t may fool my stomach
for awhile and make it brace up
by thinking something better will
be along presently. You'll do
that much toward easing a fond
| parents anxious heart, won't
you"
"No, WON'T
"Well, then give me a news.
paper and let me set by the fire
| fire and read the advertisement Of
a meat market, and show me the
place where it tells all about pro-
visions. Even that would give
me a feast-for the imagina-
| tion-which has been about the
extent of my living lately. You
won't believe it, maybe, but it's a
fact, that all the nourishment I've
had for two days is the bill os fare
painted on the outside Of the Fifth
street restaurant. Can you think
of that and keep your stale bread
oa the inside fyour cupboard -
"Yes, I can; and l want you to
make yourself scarce without any
more palaver, or I shall send my
boy to call a policeman" ex-
claimed the indignant woman.
"Even the photograph of a
chicken would be some comfort"
said the man by way of banter, as
ba rovad m saapd ;fvou don't