Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1878-02-06
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.

Quiet workers accomplish Tue most.
It's a wise paragraph that knows
its own father.
Take care Of Lo, tho poor Indian,
and he'll take hair off the white man.
o, the snow! the beautiful snow!
Where have you gone? Be hanged
! knowl
Experience is dear teacher but
she isn't any dearer than pretty
schoolma'am.
A Kentucky woman disguised her
self and whipped her rival. Now she
is trying to mask her raid.
1t doesn't pay to prophesy; if you
get 1t right nobody remembers it; if
you get it wrong nobody forgets it.
Little Boy: "Papal if it warn't
for the policemen and for God, what
lots Of fun we could have, couldn't
wel'
Among the items in plumbers
bill are: To searching gas leakage,
fifty cents; to having found it, one
dollar.
An exchange takes half a column
to tell what we drink whereas some
folks have simply to wink at the bar
keeper.
"Are these soaps all one sccnt2n
inquired lady Of juvenile salesman.
No, ma'am, they are all ten cents
replied the innocent younsster.
tWh't kind of carpet shol we
get for the parsons studyl' asked a
church committee Of his col
league. "Axminister," was the COM
prehensive reply.
1t would he interesting to know
in improving the He'll Gate of New
York harbor, if there is no uncom-
Portable hereafter.
A young Connecticut lady was late
ly taken aback when her swain got
upon his knees before her and read
declaration of his love, which he
had nicely written off.
Above the roar of political strife
D1HN lt iitHIh iIlt Ntltt VI Nbliltu
inquiring if all the geraniums in the
front yard have been covered with
paper to protect them from the
frost
Said an ambitions youth one day
to young lady, "Dnn't you think |
had better dye my mustache" caress
ing that infant prodigy. 81 think it
you let it alone it will die ITSELF"
said the lady.
An old rail-splitter in Indiana put
the nuietus upon young man who
chaffed him upon his big bald head,
in these words :--"Young man,w hen
my head gets as soft as yours, I can
raise hair to SELL"
The Georgia negro has no more
faith in banks. He lays all his
money out in clothes and hair oil,
and the news of bank suspension
causes him to exclaim: "Burst away
wild ye, but We can't hurt desc laven-
der brecches!"
One Of the old blue laws Of Con-
necticut raid: mo one shall run on
the Sabbath dav, except reverently."
Imgine man Just out of church pur-
suing a flying hat reverently before
high wind and the presence of an
interested congregation!
A sch ,ol teacher asked her class,
"What becomes of good people when
they die2"--"They go to heaven" re-
sponded the class. "What becomes of
brutes when they dicl' was the next
question. This puzzled the class for
a moment, when one of the boys sung
out IN triumph, "Make 'em into soap
grease!"
1t is not uncommon in the pit of
British theatre to receive an apple.
an orange,an opera glass, and some
times footstool on the head. AT
the Dunkirk Theatre, recently, an
old gentleman was honored with a
aoaded six-chamber revolver on his
pate, that fell out of the breast coat
pocket of a gallery god.
Some men are completely unnerved
by the sight of a woman's tears, and
would rather miss a base ball game
than see them weep before they're
married; but afterward woman
may cry till the tubs float iuP the
cellar,while she tugs heavy hod of
coal up a dark and narrow flight of
stairs, and the man remains as calm
ana immobile as cigar.store sign.