Connecticut western news., 1878-12-11
WIT AND WISDOM.

WIT AND WISDOM.
 How to rear a mule-tickle his hind legs.
 Did you ever see an Indian Pawnees overcoat?
 Real estate transfers-Boys throw ing mud at each other.
 -" How to get fat ":-Go to the butcher shop and purchase it by the pound.
 -"Honor and fame from no condi- tion rise "-" up and dressed, and you can win the the prize.
 Genuine benevolence is like turkey on a spit before the fire; it keeps going round and round and doing.
 The man who gets his living by his wits alone generally works wiSh too small capital. He only succeeds in failing.
 La Fruyere says as riches and favor forsake man we discover him to be a fool, but nobody could find it out in his prosperity.
 In peace there's nothing so becomes man as modest stiffness and humility, unless he is engaged in the life insurance or some analogous business.
 -"Ah," said hungry tramp, "I wish was hoss. He most always has a bit in his mouth, while haven't had bit in mine for two days"
 -"So good of you to bring me these flowers, whose balmy breath makes one think that it is still spring. At the same time nice seal-skin sacque"-
 There is no harm in saying these lines over twice :-
 sorrow shared is but half trouble, But joy that's shared is joy made double.
 Tt is as impossible to live peaceably in house with 9 hot tempered person as 1t is to take nap in room when Q hornet is buzzing on the widow. He may sting at any minute.
 Lady to her friend-I didn't forget that it was your birthday, and so embroidered you this pocket-book. Isn't it just lovely? Take it, and whenever you take it out, then, dearest, think of me.
 A lady in court, being asked her age, replied that she didn't know; she couldn't remember the exact hour when she was born and could only depend on heresay. Heresay is not evidence, and the matter was ruled out.
 To know a thing is right and not to do it is weakness. When you know thing, maintain that you know it; when you do not know it, admit the fact; this is wisdom. Fear not poverty, but fear missing of the truth [Confucius.
 -"My lord," once exclaimed an illiterate actor in " Pizarro, who didn't understand what cacique was, "my lord, meath wonder palm we have captured cask. What is your pleasureP "Roll it in," cried the tragedian, "and let's bust in the bung r
 William Cullen Bryant attributed his rare good health to habit formed in early youth of devoting the first hour after leaving his bed in the morning to moderate gymnastic exercises, after which he took bath and light vege- table breakfast | Nowadays men will investigate all things inward and outward. Truth canst thou escape from the furious huntP They 90 forth with nets and poles, to catch thee; but, with spirit-like tread, thou glidest away through their midst II Frederick Schiller. | A christian, being only traveller through the world, must expect travel ler's fare-bad roads sometimes, pad weather and bad accommodations puS since his journey is short and his city IS heaven. all his actions, suferings, pray CTS and conversations turns that way. II Bogatsky.
 The pictures of Raphael and Angelo are doubtless exceedingly beautiful, but we once saw picture, it was so long ago that we can just recall 1t, which to our mind far surpassed them all. It was the picture on the back of hun dred dollar bill, which was all our own, and alas the last rose of summer.
 A barber in Paris raised the price of shaving when the Exposition opened. On the day of closing permanent patron expressed the hope that he would | again fall back to ante te-Exposluon charges. "I should like to-" said the barber, "but since the distribution of prizes there are so many long faces that I really cannot afford to do so."
 When man sends Q libellous com munication to newspaper aad the edi- tor refuses to print it, he gets mad and resolves to start new paper ln less than two weeks. But when he examines his pocket-book and finds only fifty cents and an unreceipted tailor's bill, he wisely concludes to let some other fel- low start it, and thereby saves several thousand dollars.
 It is easier for the average small boy to tug up hill with his sled for half an hour, with the hope of coasting down in just three minutes, and to do this fourteen times in succession, than to l drag his little sister on that self-same sled for two blocks. The hardest and most tiresome work in the world is to do what you don t want to do. How heavy our feet are when the task is disagree