The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-07-30
SUNBEAMS,
Light work-The gasman's.

The Texas camel can travel 100 mile 0
day, if pressed.
1t is the break of day that prevents night
from going too far.
Unwelcome settlers-Those that offer ten
cents on the dollar.
A hangman's warrant is the most objec.
tionable of noose-papers.
A fine coat may cover fool, but never
conceal one. .-Brooklyn Eagle.
In the midst of debt we are, in life
most of us.-ReokuE Constitution.
When boatswain pipes all hands, who
furnishes the tobacco. boston Commercial
Bulletin.
In India the towns communicate by
means of signals by candles-a sort OF
tallowgraph.
A bachelor merchants advice In select.
ing IA wife:-'Get hold of pieoe of calico
tnat will wash"
When Pawnee Indian becomes too old
to relish an cid boot roasted on bed of
Goals, his friends realize that it is time to
knock him on the head.
"Madam, did you ever lift dog by the
tail ?" "Why, no, you cruel thing, you'll"
81 didn't know, because l just saw you
carry your child across the gutter by one
arm."
A Chicago man has written to one of
the Astors: ''Send me one million dol
lars, or prepare to die" How grand it
would be to die in defense of million
dollars.
The wise man will use o fancy horse
blanket to protect the flowers in his front
yard from the frost. He won't use it but
once, though. Then some one else will be
using it.
According to the Scientific American, in
the State of Connecticut one person in
every $50 is an inventor. The other 854
wonder if the darned thing will WORK.
Uanbmy Ne,os.
A human skull sent through the mails
reached its proper destination-tne Dead
Letter Office. There is enough dead
heading in the mails without sending
kulls.
1t is well enough to denounce tramps and
say they won't accept positions. just
offer one of them the presidency of a
bank ee.-TAat would be asquare test
Puck
1t is favorite expression of the Rus
SLAMS that they put their trust in the
Russian God, whose functions, as one of
- t.o.. pveUs Las wlttily remarked, are by no
means sinecure.
Swell-"T want you to make me short
coat without tails or seams i'll the birck.
DO you know what l mean?" German
tailor-"Yaas, yaas, | know vat you want.
You want straight jacket"
At wedding recently, when the clergy
man asked the lady, "Wilt tnou have
this man to be thy welded husband 7"
she, with a modesty which lent her
beauty an additional grace, replied, IF
you please"
priest to whom lady was once con-
Tossing her sins, told her that gambling oc-
casoned a great loss of time. "Ah
yes," said she, naively, ''that is what
troubles me-so much lost in shufling the
cards!"
She used to meet him at the gate with
a kiss and smile, like morning light;
lN,t Lla tn fha Hnnr "a HinuV
old calico wrapper, and shoes down ut the
heel, shades her eyes with her hand
and in voice that seems to need OIL
ing, inquiries; "Did you bring that but
ter q
The Steuben Advocate snys that if a
man is to be baptized it ought to be done
thoroughly. The other day convert was
immersed, and when lie went home he
took with him the minister's pocketbook.
If lie had been held under water for half an
Lour this accident would never have oc-
cured
81 don't care much for a quiet baby;
but l dote on squalling one" said un
old bachelor. "Why, how strange!" ad-
mirngly chorused all the mothers present.
"Not at ALL" responded the bachelor,
because, you see; US soon as a brat
begins to squall, it's always taken from the
room!"
At a fancy dress ball up the Hudson a
Chinaman was engaged to cook the supper.
He was mistaken for a masker, driven
nearly frantic by jokes and games "he did
not understand, was awarded the prize
for the best character costume, and finally
he put for home in a rage, characterlz-
ing the party collectively as heap dam
foolee."
A sympathetic but inquisitive young
man, who was visiting country prison,
gently asked girl prisoner the cause of
her being in such place. "Oh," said she,
with contelnptuous toss of her head, Il
stole watermill, and got off safe, but, like
fool, went back after the stream that
turned it, and was arrested" The SYM
pathetic man left Immediately.
The following curious advertisement ap-
peared in al English provincial paper:
1.-The r v. - Cali recommend young
woman of about 27 years of age, of excel
lent character and behavior, as parlor maid;
also, Can milk COW or two" This is in
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