The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1878-12-03
xxx
q the Kind Of oftot We Grind
Hold Your Bag.
Warranted Extra 0upofAno for
Family Uoo.

w SsssC0s wv - W. WV " 8es yO0S Woso
in. Strike while the iron i hot and your
fess are cold. There b nothing that warns
up house in winter like nice little Low.
ing woman. Why. its be,,er'n . cord 81
wood. Yes. nov's your time.
The frosiy nights have come again,
And at this time Of year
The single men, who sleep alone,
Praoce round upon their ear.
They turn the bedding quickly back,
And then they tumble in,
Roll up into little lump
Their knees up 10 their chin.
And then unto themselves they say,
just loud enough To hear.
BY Gsorge. this thing has got 70 cease,
Befose another year"
II 10 . strange thing in these days Of civ.
ilisaiioa and free schools, that people can
not speak properly. Everybody ought To
speak properly. Saw . man knocked down
once for calling another fellow liar, al
though there vas . dero sight more truth
than bad grammar about il. Here 10 . csss
in point:
A man had been caught in theft, and
pleaded in exhaustion that he ~ drunk.
Court Ito policeman, Who Wa vitness,-
"what did the mao say when you srres,ed
him3'
Wltneas-!1He said he vss drunk"
COurt-"I want his preciae vorda. just
- he uttered them; he didn't use the pro-
noun he, did be. He didn't say ~ vas
drunk"
Wi,ne~-"Oh, yea. hs did-he s.id he
wss drunk be acknowledged the corn"
Court (g<ti,ns impatient At the vitnes's
| stupidity )-"You don's undentand ne NJ
all !; want the words ~ he uttered them |;
didn't he s.y, Il w.s drunk ="
Wisne.. (depreesiinxly;--Oh, no, your
Honor. He did"'I Say you were drunk /;
l wouldn't allow any man 10 charge that
upon you in my presence"
Pros-cutor-"Fshaw you don't compre-
heed at oil; his Honor means, did not the
/ prisoner cay, Il v.s drunk"
Witness (re6eciively )-"well. he might
have said you was drunk, but didn't hear
| him."
Attorney for the prisoser-"what the
court desires il TO have you state the pris-
ones's ow. words, preserving the precise form
| of psonoun made use Of m reply. Was IL
frst person. I, second person thou. or the
third person, he, she. or IL? Nov, then.
sr, with severity, upon yonr oath, didn't
my client say, 4 VA drunk
Witness (yetiing mad)-"NO he didn't
say you vas drunk either. but II he had, ]
reckon he wouldn't . lied any. Do you
s'poae the poor fellow charged this whole
court With being drunk ?"
So the reader vill remember that when
he il hauled up for being drunk. he wili be
particular about the personal pronoun I.
In fact, in the police court the Is have
it-have il bad. Some Of 'em cant see fos
. week.
We don't know how !, is, bus somehow
OF other we cant reach out Tor good
thing without stepping on one 81 the ten
commandments. tell you the Devil
has rot his dry goods 6xed up moos,rous
nice. but the minute you touch 'em, you
hurn your fingers and bust co~naodmenl
al to pieces. Nevesthelesa they all do IT
and say "iis naughty but its NICE"
When Mother Eve the tempting fruit
Plucked for her only kin.
She then and there did institute
A precedent for sin;
She knew the apple tasted ssees.
But thought not Of ita price,
And said to Adam: L~, ~ eat:
Its naughty, but lie NICE"
And 20 It's been for ages, down,
Until this very day.
That all mankind. black, white or brown
Are prone 70 30 astrsy;
And still the lssson will not learn,
To profit from advice.
Their simple hearts will ever yearn
! For 'nansh'y thing, il nice"
The gentle bride. With cooling voice,
The youth of tender age.
Will often take the wrong from choice,
A will the learned sage;
The wrong forever leads the van
We use il - price,
To reason sll the good Ne can;
''Iis naughty, bat Ills nice"
Our politicians oft abuse
The cause most juss and right.
And ill their actions do excuss
With speeches long and triie,
And from the public loaf they steal,
Like hungry. thievinG mice.
Whilst in their guilty souls they feel
IT'S naughty. but 'ts ascs."
The Clergy, too, Il comes about
Armed With their lsw and creeds,
, OF FROM their pulpit preach and spout
, More than they oct By deeds;
. And IL to them il should occur
Thst Sassn's dread device
Had made them err, they would infer,
"Tsas naughty, bot twas nice"
And sober men, and women, too,
must the truth proclaim,
Are glad to hide some things they do
By constituting nsmes;
!, But sober folks, Ne must excuse.
II not too deep in vics,
Although At times they do confuse
The naughty and the nice"
And % twill Be tJr sRes hence.
Mankind Vill seek their level
Some vill 70 up, some on the isace,
! And oshess TO the devil,
But everyone, I'm bound to think,
Regardles Of it, price.
Of worldly thinp will eat and drink
"The naughty and the nice"
s,ranser, there are good many thinss il
this world that will bear monssrous Sigh
Of improving. Take il in the rough. it i
tolerable good job, but il half The easrN
,hst vss vested in building nosquisoss
bsdbue., allisason and snakes. had bsss
utilised in cutting out moro soft spots il
the rough path Of life. you would hear
heap len cusing In going over Tie ruis
Bot ve had 10 hasd in 1t, % yos can't Icy
il to o.. No. cir. We'd tsrsedihs uaivess'
out in three days and half, ill vasnishet
and packed and losded up On one Of In
Hinsdals's transfer wagons. You bet.
I'd gr.sp The load shsedes;
with lighsaiag I'd play,
The easlh send asundes,