The Portland daily press., 1878-03-09
THE PRESS.
From the Spirit Of the Times
Utilization Of Babies.
BY PETROLEUM V. NAeBY.

J 1t wuz Topper, I believe, the's Immortal
Upper, wich wrote, ga babe in we'll is
housespriug of pleasure" 1 ike Upper, for
ther amt no nonsense about him. His poetry
is ez easy to reed ez proze, and he never goes
meandrn off out NV the grasp Nv the intel
leck Nv the most humble. You kin digest
Topper ez easy ez you kin pumkin pie. But
didn't intend to stray off into the field Nv
crit csm.
Babies WIZ allus my espeshl avershup. A
baby is thing to be taken care Nv, not
thing to take care Nv anybody else. Babies
are expensive, and he who hez his culver full
nv that kind Nv arrers, must expeck to de-
vote hsself religiously to them, and by jist
so much neglect hisself. Taking care Nv 9TH
ers and neglectin myself was never my best
holt. / am well adapted to bein taken care
Nv.
1t wuz, therefore, with feelins Nv profound
disgust / saw the first Nv the Nasty i'm
pendin. l didn't like it. I objected to it not
only on akount Nv myself, but on Mara's the
wife Nv my bum. That excellent woman
WIZ a milliner, and felt that it wuz enuff
Tor her to take care Nv me. without hevin
piled onto her the burden Nv another; and
besides, woodent the cost Nv carin for that
addishnel one lesson my comfortsp am not
selfish. knowed that woman with child
coodent care for her customers aud git thrO
her housekeepin ez well with child eZ she
Good without. Ez it wuz, she Good give her
whole time to me and the shop-the takin
care Nv me ez l ought to be cared for. 1
murmured.
"My deer" said Marian tit wuz the fust,
and she was still lovin,) "My deer, it's fine
boy, and can't you take some comfort in the
refeckshun that in your declinin years 700
will hev some one to leen upon? Think NV
that"
"My deer,' replide, promptly, 81 amt a
discountin the fucher. The present is good
enough Tor me, thank 700. A bird in the
hand is worth good many in the bush, and
can't see the pint Nv takin' that boy thro
scarlet fever, mumps, measles, collie and 9TH
er diseases Incident to childhood, Nv paying
Tor books, sehooiin, close aud ct setrer, On tie
hope Nv his takin' care Nv me in my seer and
yaler leef. [ hev to take the chances Nv his
bein billiard player, or Nv studyin medicin,
or turpin refotmer, or any Nv them unprofit
able okkepashuns."
1 sed this to let Marian know that wuz
displeased, so that she would be more keer
ful to please me in everything else.
But what she sed sunk deep into my heart
all the same. FL John, wch is wat we named
the boy, shood grow up and shoOd inherit the
disposishun Nv his salnted mother, he wood
support me, and possibly through his earnest
efforts l Good 60 thro the balance of the val
ley and shadder 10 comparative comfort.
wuz fually reconcied.
Time rolled on and there wuz another
added to the fold, wch wuz girl,
"Maliar," wuz my remark, "this is too
much. The boy was Incubus, but I bev
borne it, looking to the fucher. But wat kin
a girl do? She is expense from the time
NV her birth till she gifts off your hands. l
shudder wen / think wat that puny girl will
cost US, and wat we hev got to 60 thro on its
account.
And in bitter mood 1 sos down with my
head In my hands, like one whose future is
gloomy. Up spoke Mafiar, once more:
my dear, 4mogene will grow up into fine
woman, aud when she is twenty four"
''Why not seventeen"
"Seventeen be it. When she is seventeen
she will marry a rich old man. You kin do
better out Nv son-jn-aw than 700 kin out
Nv son, for the son-in-law will be In love
with the girl, and man in love kin be made
to do anything. For your sake, deer, hope
all our children will be girls"
Agin l pondeTed. 1t wood not be bad
thing to hev a rich son-in-law, to whom you
coou go and borrer ten dollars every time 700
needed it. Wat son-in-law in tnis Crisc len
land wood let his father-in-law, the awthor
of his wife's bein, 60 dry for the lack of a
few paltry dollars? And besides if he didu't
like it, aud saw any chance Nv the old mans
d.inkln' hisselt to deth he wood hasten that
conclushen. Wat glorious deth! accepted
the dawter and bore Mariars increest labors
to peIvIde for it, with resignashun.
Need Darrate how one fOliered another in
rapid successhun-how the number iDcreest
till there wuz ten Nv them, and how eagerly
looked forred to the time when l shood rest
frum Mariar's labers and sit down under their
vines and fig trees and enjoy life.
1t wuz terrible strain on Marian, and
sympathized with her. The children cost
money ez we'll ez labor. Them children cost
me ez folders:
Board my mother-in-law three weeks, for :.
Medikie attendance each NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. 90
Sool hin syrups, carminative balsams, cantor
and sicn, each ----.-.................. 30 90
String NV beads Tor c,ild ;. 49,. 10
Loss wife's services for three weeks. 40 90
Clotbin, schOoln and medikle attendance, ct
cettery, Till they Good browse for themselves,
each. w
Or, say in round numbers, 5000 each.
Multiply this by ten and you hev the COM
Portable sum Nv $4,000, witch these addishuns
to the census subslracted frum Mariars earn
ms, wich wuz just that amount taken frum
me. But ez it WIZ soin on, never rebelled
or murmured. Ez looked at John re-
markt to myself, "Yoo will be lawyer and
will win diitinkshen and fees. That distink-
shun will share and the fees likewise. Marlar
VOC shell marry well and yoor husband will be
my prop and stay. Sammy, destined for
the ministry, Tom for baDkin and the others,
down to the girl in the cradle, had arranged
in my miHd's eye SO ez to make me an in
cum.
Ez looked over them children felt rich
/ looked upon them eZ an Investment, better
than lie inshoorance or savings banks. The
luv Nv child tor its parent is more certain
than bank or life inshoorance. They may
break, but nacher can't be wiped out, nohow,
and is certain to endoor. And in most States
there is a law compellin children to take keer
Nv their parents whether they want to or not.
And so cemmunin with myself let Marlar
work for them children eZ much ez she chose
TO. | found myself looktn with solissitood
on them offspring, and l saw to it that they
wuz kept in good condishen and not exposed
to any disease that wuz likely to prove iatle.
My sosstood went so far on one occashun,
when one Nv em waz i'll actily went and
split oven wood rather than let Marian drop
that child and do it herself, wich had alluz
ben her dooty and privilege.
A fathers luv is the most techin thing in
nacher. Hundreds ov mites hev laid in bed
and permitted Marian to git up for catnp tea,
wheu l really needed sleep. and her arisin
disturbed me; and the warm water l hev al
lowed that woman to bring from the ktcheh
mites, for them children, would never be
bleeved. Like troo father, mede sacrif-
cas- for them children. l felt the dooty Nv
economisin that they might enjoy advantages
and to that end l sternly refnozed to let
longed to, and at once cut off her aunooal
suhscripshen to the Furrin Mishnary So
ciety.
M. riar'', remarkt pintin at the ten,
f'the heather is not only at our door, but
they are inside thereof"
Well wood it hev bin for me eff I he'd never
allowed myself TO be over persuaded in this
matter. Marian sunk under the labor NV
carin for them children, and went to her long
home. despite the advice had given her for
twenty five years concernin the proper man
sgement Nv EN-. l drop teer to the memry
nv that excellent pervider-she was my stay
for quarter Nv a Gentry. My second wuz
better ookin, but tine mint she wuz married
d. she closed the shop II have alluz married
millinery, and insisted on my supportin
her. My third wuz weakly-I wuz took in
with Rand coudent work. Wat con-
trasi! Marian frekenty put mortgage ON
her fxters to supply the father Nv her chill
dren with the necessaries Nv life. Alas
them fixters all are gone, this many yeer.