The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-10-10
PASSING SMILES.
IT is mournful to see a man more'n
FULL Whstehdu Times.

II ID mouIuIul 70 see man more u
FULL Whitehau Times.
Or and down the shingle goes.
Above the seat of knowledge;
This Is the way, the teacher knows
To make boys smart-for college.
-&iQicdfer Lunbemdn
An observing politician says that the
difference between those going in and
those going out of Office is mainly this:
The former are sworn in, and the latter
go out swearing.
The difference between an executioner
and pugilist is simply this: The
former devotes himself to taking heads
off men and the latter to putting heads
on them.-Albany Journal.
IT was funny but expressive way
the fve-year-old had of describing the
decorated military officer he pointed out
to his mother as" the soldier with all
those baggage checks on his coat"
"MR. B, did you say, or did you
not say, what I said you said H-because
c. said you said you never did say
what 1 said you said. Now, if you did
say that you did not say what said you
said. then what did you sayf
"PM sorry, Mr.. Wilson, to see this
splendid field of potatoes so seriously
diseased" said sympathetic inspector.
" "Aweel, it's great pity" replied the
farmer; "but there's a comfort-Jack
Thomson's is no bit betterp
On, give us the month with the rolickswe R,
That bringeth the yellswsome yam.
That wafteth the breeze of the brine from afar,
And beareth the oyster and clam.
Ye yeomen that yowl for the narrowing yam,
Ye elampers that Claw for the ciammyso clam.
81. Losis Journal.
OVER bridge at Athens, Ga, is the
following: "Any person driving over
this bridge at faster pace than a walk,
shall, if white person, be fined five
dollars, and If negro, receive twenty
five lashes-half the penalty to be be-
slowed on the informer."
WHEN would-be-witty paragrapher
falls up against what he thinks is a
funny idea and stopping to sharpen his
pencil, the idea goes off on a visit some
where, and cannot be recalled, he is sorry
he has not been educated for a wood
sawyer.-Breaklast Table.
THE religious papers of England are
discussing the momentous question,
" Ought clergymen to wear mustaches F'
We think, as cold weather comes on,
they should, and on days of extreme
severity they might add a pair of
trousers and a thick vest.-HaUkeye.
A FACETIoUs brakeman on the Cen
tral Pacific Railroad cried out as the
train was about entering a tunnel.
"This is one mile long and the train
will be four minutes passing through
it." The train dashed through into
daylight again in four seconds, and the
scene in the car was a study for a
painter. Seven young ladies were closely
pressed by seven masculine arms, four
teen pair of lips were glued together, and
two dozen inverted whisky TASKS
flashed in the air.
"HUMBoLDT saw on the slope of the
Cerra Drida shirt-trees fifty feet high
trees from which the Indians procured
their shirts" A shirt-tree is a decided
novelty, and if it could only be grated
80 that it would also bear trousers and
vests and coats and boots, a tree agent
could sell lots of 'em for more than fifty
cents apiece. The owner of several acres
of such trees would have to employ an
entire military company to watch his
orchard when loaded with fruit, or shift
less tramps would rob it every night.