The Louisiana cotton-boll. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], Attakapas, La.) 1872-1883, 1878-01-02

Bat i've ike = DeSSUT ule IA
:" seaisksn sacks are worn longer
Same way With ali the rest Of our.
clothes.
/ First irate female I'd hate to be
in your shoes I" Second ditto" You
couldn't get in them "
If the short man ever feels overcome
with an intense desire to be tall it is
when he finds himselfon the outside CT
crowd at deg fight,
| 1t has been remarked that every
European prime minister is free-masen
except the Turkish grand vizier and the
pope's right.hand adviser.
Richelieu affirmed friendship to be
the medicine for all misfortune. All
very nice, cardinal, but when trouble
comes the bottle is always found empty.
Our modest young man viii breathe
easier when some ingenious chap invents
turkey, carving contrivance that works
with crank, like an apple-parer,- Hor-
chester Press.
Nothing unnerves the average small
boy so much as to be obliged to steal
eookies out of a crock. To his strained
sense0 that jarring of the cover sounds
like the crack of doom.
Before was married" said young
Grippins, d" everybody told me it did not
cost as much to support two as it did
one, bit somehow Or other it doesn't pan
out that way with me-"
The experienced editor can always
tell at sight the man who comes in with
the first attempt at original poetry. He
walks on tiptoe, and looks as though he
had just passed counterfeit bill or
strangled baby.
There is some foundation for the
vampire legends after all. Crooks, an
English engineer, while surveying the
Isthmtts of Darien, had his blood sucked
during sleep by vampire bat, and died
from the consequent exhaustion.
One of the old blue laws of Cou-
pectieut said "No one shall run on
the Sabbath day, except reverently."
Imagine a man just out of church pur-
suing flying hat reyerently before q
high wind and in the presence Of an ia-
terested congregation.
Why is lamp-chimney like Chi
cago savings bank? No one seems able
to answer Ddn5ury NeDs. That's
mere snare. It's too easy: BE
cause they're sure to break. lI-Be-
cause SCOT is apt to grew out OF them
III-Because they burn your fingers.
w. Because they can't stand a strong
draft. V-Because there is something
wiek-e at tho bottom of them. W.
Becausc they're hollow. VII-Because
they've benzine to busts VIlI---But
there there we're weary, we're a weary,
we are sad and sore perPlexed; let eur
answer to your query be continued in
our next.---Ph'I. Bulletin.
-" What's your name, sir ?" asked the
Judge of the prisoner before him. al
(hem), am named (homl, judge (hem),
q. Wellington de Touville." "Oonsid-
erable Of name, that" remarked the
indge, looking up surprised. " Where
do you come from ?" May |, Judge
(hem). venture to remonstrate on this
arrest Chem" Where do you come
from, sir /? :" thundered the judge Ho-
boken, was the prompt reply" "What
crime have you been guilty OF, sir ?"
May (hem,) Il " Mayhem, ehlp
roared the magistrate. "On your ewn
confession, then, give you sixty days in
the workhouse.-M. X Commercial.
Why, let us ask, should any one
iaver an unlimited issue of silver dollars2
Vino wants to go around with his
trousers pockets jammed full Of specie,
and his vest pockets 30 full Of dollars
that his toothpick is crowded out, and
his coat.tail pockets so heavy with coins
that the stitches in the skirt gap, and
his inside coat pocket crammed 80 full of
the stuff that he hasn't room to carry
PRAYER book! Who wants to be
weighed down with such load as this?
well, If the truth must be told, the
writer hereof wouldn't object to being
freightsd with just such load at the
present moment, and if necessary, We
would get the tailor to put fourteen
extra pockets in our new pantalOons. ).-
Norristoun Herald.