The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-09-24
SUNBEAMS,
As o twig is bent the boy is inclined.

lock-A skeleton key.
To the average Athenian the dearest spot
on earth is the Greece spot.
Strange how the average man will clutch
at straw-if it is in glass.
Never put off till tomorrow what can be
done just as well the day after.
Every man is free moral agent and in
addition there are book agents.
1t is never too late to mend, but the bet
ter way is to avoid getting on tare.-
Picayune.
"He wAa wood rize in the world"
says Josh Billings, "muszt pay for the
yeazt."
What is the difference between q man
md tired dog2 One wears coat and
the other pants.
Herkimer County rejoices in four-eyed
pig. Pigs in these parts have but one i.
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Rome and Naples vie with each other in
lying about their population. They get it
from Chicago and st. Louis.
Those Western spectators can discover
new gold mine as fast an old one plays
out, They keep 'em booked in regular
order.
A Vermont men dropped dead just as he
fn linlx foot han 10 he
kicked his family often and always enjoyed
good health.
Old wine is wholesome; old pippins
toothsomest; old wood burns brightest; old
linens wash whitest old debts are surest,
and old maids-wlat2
Some people are always ungrateful, no
matter how much you do for them. 1t is
like striking fly of mules hind leg;
you only get kick for your pains.
The phonograph is like the small but
precocious brother Of a young lady. 1t
will repeat everything said in its presence
without any regard for bushes.
Enthusiastic young lady: "You are
fond of music, Colonel ?" Colonel F.:
''Music ? Aw-yes, l think l may say
like-aw-noise-of-of any kind !"
The minister who said he could preach
without notes has been taken at lis word
by his congregation, which refuses to pay
his salary. He sees lis mistake.
Ifyou would be clear and forcible don't
use foreign words. Be natural. A man
never stops to hunt up foreign word
when he is stung by a Lornet.-OI City
Ucl1ick.
A Virginia woman refuses to marry a
bald-headed man, though he is a million
aire. She explained: owed have a
family fight some time, and lie has no hair
to catch hold Of"
Baltimore is crafty town; she has 700
schooners in the oyster trade alone.-Free
Press. Pshaw Boston has 1000
schooners in the beer trade. - Boston
Globe.
A farmer in Warren County writes to us
inquiring what he should do for kicking
cows You ought to ct five years in the
penitentiary if you kick them every milk
ing time.- CilClnnuH Saturday Night
The fact that George Washington's wife
never asked wheie he had been when he
came home late at night goes great way
toward accounting for his extreme truth
fulness. .-tuLton Times.
A paper called the jeweler asserts that
brass earrings are unhealthy. Whoever
has been in the habit of eating brass ear
rings will do it hereafter with his eyes
open-and likewise his mouth -Butdlo
ETpresS.
Professor-"Can you multiply together
concrete nunbers?" The class are uncer-
tain. Professor-"What will be the pro-
duct of five apples multiplied by six
potatoesf" Freshman Qrlumphuutly)-
Hush"
"What would you call model Sunday
school?" asked the superintendent of a
malcontent pupil, who had threatened to
leave. "Well, one where they pass around
apple pie every Sunday, and don't have no
lcSSOuh W lCdlu udl . VIC uull pm "a
school for mel"
An applicant for position rs teacher in
O high school recommended himself to the
board by saying that he had ''been teach
ing deestrick schools these four year."
The board decided not to hire a teacher
that didn't know how to spell fore" bet
ter than tLat.-Detroit Post.
Lightning recently knocked knitting
needle out of the hand Of a young lady in
Montreal. She accepts it as hint that she
most stop knitting, and urgently hopes to
have the same experience with regards TO
sweeping, washing dishes and similar fool
isAneSs. .-B,talo Erpress.
The subject was in regard to horse
racing. Said hack driver who was pres.
ent: "Talk about your fast time! l saw
horse trot mile in $780," 'Impossi-
ble!" said the cigar store proprietor.
''The best time ever heard of was 2:145."
"Well," said the hackman, isn't 1870 two
minutes and thirty seconds?
The Burlington Hatrkeye says that if all
tho TO ot baH and nboI