The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1878-07-12

"Barber: elbow long ago did you have
YOUR hair cut? ?" Customer: s"About three
months ago." Barber: lawful bad cut:
who cut it?" Customer: "You did,"
Silence OF ten minutes. Barber thaving
somewhat recovered his nerve): g see
that your chin has been cut by the
last barber that shaved you?"g Customer:
Eyes" Barber: "You ought to have
built head on him bigger'n mule. Gus
tom: 81 did" Barber continues to shave
with great caro- Untnoec'1 exchange.
A city young lady visiting Bridgeport.
having witnessed the pedestrian feats OF Miss
Won Hillern, started out the other evening
to walk four miles in one hour. After pro-
ceedinc q quarter OF mile she saw toad
in the road, and with a scream OF alright
turned around and retraced her steps. The
best time was made in going home.-NoT7S-
toopp Herald. That was just the difference be-
tween the pedestrian feet OF the two. one
marked the toad, and the other toed the
mark.-BulLetin.
We are permitted to relate the Following
conversation between. ten-year-old glrl
and her father: Daughter-''Pa Is John
Dash older than HMry Dash ?" Father
ono" Daughter-'s Is Henry the oldest?"
Father, impaticntly-s' Well, now,if John
Dash is not older than Henry, Of course
Henry is the Oldest" Daughter" Now
don't be too smart; they might be twins"
NorristoW1 Herald.
Brick Pomery advises every greenback
club to have a dri-master, and every MEM
Der Of these clubs to make himself !" rs pro-
ficient as possible in the manual OF arms"
That's the way to do it. II man doesn't
want to take greenback, iab him with your
bayonet. The most Of US, however, will
not be Stubborn Conrier-Journat.
A minister going to visit one OF his sick
parishioners asked him how he rested dur.
ing the night. "Oh, wondrously i'll, sir"
he replied, "for mine eyes have not come
together these three nights" :" What is
the reason OF that?" said the other.
Alas, sir, !" said he, "because my nose
was betwiXt them" @.e
Germans have the reputation OF being
very economical, and yet what reckless eX-
travagance they display in spelling . Musick
Halle l"-NorristoWn Herald. You don't
understand. They want to find their e'S
when they SO to the hall.-Balletia.
William came running into the house the
other day and asked eagerly, " Where does
charity begin?" SAT home," was replied,
in the words of the proverb. :'Not by a
good DEAL" rejoined the boy; Z" it begins at
sea C)."-ETchange.
Chief Joseph declines the proposition to
send twelve OF his young braves to college.
He fears that at college they will learn to
fight and shoot at sophomores, and thus be-
come bloodthirsty. Albany argus.
A political speaker accused rival OF
"unfathomable meanness," and then, rising
to the occasion, said, CT warn him not to
persist in lis disgraceinl course, or he'll
find that two OF us can play at that game. !"
There is man living at Varnell Station.
Georgia, who churns his butter, rocks the
baby, and keeps the flies from his dining
table by water-power.
The ithaca Journal says: g The Green
back organs in our vicinity die young. The
Elmira Herald nee Bdzoo was quickly fol-
lowed BIZ the CORTLAND Adoocate.'
81 Hcwto make match-saie--S Soak the head
OF the match inwater.
Tain't nothing to the summer OF 1911 -
Consoling oldest inhabitant. III