Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1878-07-17
The Troubles OF a Poet.

w hhC NOlVhOi l1duSo, Suitoi Vi ohO
Argus was sitting in his office one
day, a man whose brow was clothed in
thunder, entered. Fiercely seizing a
chair, he slammed his hat on the table,
hurled his umbrella on the floor, and
sat down.
Are you the editor?' he asked.
Yes
Can you read writing?'
OF course
Read that, then,' he said, thrusting
at the Colonel all envelope with an in-
scription OH it.
B. said the Colonel, trying to spell
it.
That's not B. It's an S. said the
man.
IS; oh, yes; see Well, the words
lock a little like Salt for Dinner or
Souls of Sinners, said the Colonel.
Ne, SIR replied the man, nothing OF
the kind! That's my name, Samuel
H. Brunner. 1 knew you couldn't
read. 1 called to see you about that
poem of mine you printed the other
day, on the Sur cease of Sorrow
'I don't remember It, said the
Colonel.
'Ofcourse you don't because it went
into the paper under the title OF Smear
case Tomorrow
"A stupid blunder Of the COM
positor's, suppose
Yes, sir and that's what l want TO
see you about. The way in which that
poem was mutilated was simply scandal
lous. 1 haven't slept night since. 1t
exposed me to derision. People think
l am an ass. Let me show YOU
Go ahead said the Colonel.
The first line, when l wrote it, read
IN this way:
Lying by weeping willow, underneath gentls
slope.
That is beautiful, poetic, Affecting
Now, how did your vile sheet present it
to the public? There it is. Look at
that! Made it read this way:
Lying to a:weepins widow, to induce hor to elore.
Weeping widow, mind you! a.
widow! 0 thunder aud lightning! This is
too much! It's enough to drive man
crazyu
Pm sorry,' said the Colonel; but
But look a-here at the fourth verse;
said the poet. That's worse yet
What said was:
Cast thy pearls before the swine, and lose them IN
the dirt.
Il wrote that out clearly and distinct
ly, in plain. round hand. Now what
does your compOsitor do: Does he
catch the sense of that beautiful sent-
ment: Does it sink into his soul? No,
sir.He sets it up in this fashion. Listen:
Cart 10Y pills before sunrise and love them if they
hurt.
Now, isn't that cold-blooded out
rage on a mans feelings? III leave it
to you if it isn't hard:'
It's hard, that's fact said the
Colonel.
And then take the fifth verse. In the
original manuscript, it said, PLAN as day
light:
Take away the jngling money, it is only slliterins
dross.
a man with only one eye, and
cataract over that, could have read the
wsrds correctly. But your pirate, up
stares there-do you know what he dld'
He made it read
Take away the jeering monkeys on sorsly gan-
dered hoss.
by George, l felt like Draining him
with a fire-shoycl l was never so cut
up in my life.'
1T was natural, too, said the Colonel.
There, for instance, was the sixth
verse, l wrote.
am weary of the tossing Of the ocean as it hea'es
It's lovely line too; but imagine
nv horror, and the anguish of my family
when l opened your paper and saw the
line transformed into.
am wearing out my trowsers till they're open It
the knees.
That's a little too much! That seems
to me ike carrying the thing an inch or
two TOO far. think have constitu-
tional right to murder that ccmposltor;
don't your
Il think you have
Let me read you one more verse. l
wrote
I swell the nying echoes as they roam among the
hills
And feel my soul awaken lin the &c stacy that
thrills.
Now, what do you s'pose your miser-
able outcast turned that into? Why,
into this
I smell the frying shoes as they coast along the
bulls,
And peel my ssul mistaken to the accuracy that
Whirls.
'Gibberish, sir Awful gibberish l
must slay that man! Where is he!'
He is cut, just now said the Colonel.
Come in tomorrow
Il WILL said the poet, and l will
come armed
Then he put on his hat, shouldered
his umbrella, and drifted of down
stairs. s.-Mdr Adeler.