The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1878-11-09
NUMBER a.
PASSING SMILES.

how to live without work"
You may talk about the "lean and
hungry Cassius," but did you ever take
a side view of the man who has run a
store ten years without advertising3
SHE saw morning mosquito on the
cream-white paper of the bedroom, ard
crushed him then and there. But she
didn't know he WAS aded.-Stdmford
! Adr0cate.
MEN may come and men may go, but
we want to see the man who will come
to town in two-horse wagon, and not
go to crossing to stop his team
BrookriHe Democrat.
AN old hat that once belonged to Ma
poeon |, was recently sold for thirty
five dollars, which is good price, GER
tainly, when we consider that both the
Nap, and crown are gone.
EDITORS like brevity, but man who
was recently hung In Indiana suited
them too well. He made no remarks
about heaven, but nodded at the preacher
and said, "1'll see you later" and the
trap fell.
No man can know all things, but there
are lots of men who think they do.
They are the fellows who give an editor
so much valuable information as TO how
to run newspaper--into the ground
Kennebank Star.
A CHICAGO publisher has issued a
book entitled flow to Become Plump"
The old way, you remember, was to fall
out of a third-story window and como
down plump. The new method is less
dangerous, but not so certain.
THE forest leaves are turning, and
the chestnut worms are squirming, as
the peanut man stands churning them
upon fiery bed; and books viii soon
BIZ laden, by every city maiden, with
leaves which nature made on purpose to
be red Wheeling Leader.
He was something of a cynic, and
when he visited the grave of his rich,
but henpecked friend, few weeks
after the burial, and found there he
roic-sized female figure in marble as a
monument, he cried out: Poor, poor
fellow las though it was not enough in
life, here he il held down by q woman
in death !"
You need not be afraid of giving too
much. An old darkey said: "If any OBJ
you know OBJ any church wat died OBJ
liberality, jes tell me whar 1t is, an |
will take pilgrimage to IL, an by de
light oh de pale moon ] will crawl upon
its moss-coyered roof ar write upon de
topmost single, Blessed am de dead
who die in de Lord"
=. A CLEVER Tuscaroran was tried at
Elko, Nevada, for cattle stealing. The
jury acquitted him without leaving the
box, and upon his return home friend
inquired as to the result of the trial:
"No cause Of action said the party,
" merely killed the OK in self-defense,
and ate him for spite, and, of course, |
was acquitted by the intelligent jury"
IT not unfrequently happens, in this
world of mistakes and thoughtlessness,
that man, even the best of men, may
once or twice during long or otherwise
faultless life, kiss his hired girl by mis-
take for his wife. But no man, of ages
past or of to-day, was ever known to
kiss his wife under the erroneous i'm
preston that she was the hired girl
Burlington Hawkeye.
"INK can be preserved from mold by
putting a Glove in the bottle" When
Mrs. Spriggins, wife of Spriggips, of the
Morning Aioakener, read the above, she
cried excitedly: "There now ] know
what Mr.. S. always carries cloves in his
vest pocket forl" And the good old un-
suspecting soul looked as pleased as If
she had Just heard of new way of put
! ting I'D blackberries.
A PRAYER-MEETINa was in progress
in the church in Mount Vernon, Ind,
and a political procession, installing
tho lighted edifice for the hall in which
a mass-meeting was TO be held, marched
in with banners flying, to the music
of a full band, and gave three cheers for
its candidate. The clergyman invited
the politicians to remain for their
souls sake" but they declined.
EDISON says it is periodical rather
than continuous noise that wears upon
the brain. Correctl We can stand the
splash Of waves, the jingle of cars, the
hum OF voices, and the sounds of rural
life, but, oh deliver US from the young
man who plays the flute and the we'll
meaning but unhappy female across the
| way WHO Wdutb W NO uOAiy AAAOAA J
zingra." -New York Commercial Adver
tiSer.
ANY shortcomings in this paper are
to be charged to our liver. Our liver hal
come down on us like mother-in.law
1t has whooped it up to us like one o.
the boys out of sight of the police. IL
the silent watches of the night we aris'
and wrestle with it, and cannot prevail
Some patent medicine advertiser says
"Liver is king" He is mighty right
Ourliver is four kings and an ace.-'Stat
icater Lumberman.
WE are glad the circus season is abou
over. For some time past we have en-
joyed reading exchanges which had thu
delinquent tax list on the first page, thu
proceedings of the board Of supervisor
on the second and third, and circus ad
vertisement on the fourth but it's get
ting to be a little monotonous, and W
are pleased now to find on the fourtl
page notice of new liver pill, sal
|. of blooded stock, and thanks for peel
, | &c app1oo - Hragkpue