The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1878-10-02
A WIFE'S CONFESSION.

A WIFE'S CONFESSION.
I did not marry for love. Very few
people do, SO in this respect l am
neither better nor worse than my neigh
bors. No, I certainly did not marry for
love; I believe married Mr.. Cartwright
simply because he asked me.
This was how it happened. He was
the rector of Devotion. and We lived at
the Manor House, which was about ten
minutes walk from the church and rec
tory. We had daily service at Devotion,
and I nearly always attended it, and 1t
came to pass that Mr.. Cartwright in
variably walked home with me. 1t was
q matter of custom now, and l thought
nothing of it; it pleased him, and on the
whole it was rather pleasant to me also.
must confess, however, I WAS rather
surprised wbsa, one morning as we got
to the avenue which led up to the Manor
House. Mr.. Cartwright asked me to be
his wife.
I have never been able to find ont
why I said yes. but I did; perhaps 1
thought it a pity to throw away SO
much love; perhaps it was because he
was so terribly in earnest that I dared
not refuse him; perhaps I feared his
pale face, and his low, pleading voice
would ever haunt mo if I rejected his
love; or, perhaps, it was because he
only asked me to marry him-he did
not ask me if I loved him, for I think
he guessed I did not; perhaps it was all
these reasons put together, but anyhow
I said yes, and in due time We were
married.
ought to have been very happy, for
he was a most devoted husband, but I
was not, and though I did not notice it
then, I know now that for the first six
months after our marriage he was not
happy either. :.
It was all my fault either would
not or could not love him; I accepted all
his devotion to me as a matter of course,
bnt I made no effort to return it; and 1
am sure he had found out that he had
made a mistake in marrying a woman
who did not love him.
One morning, about six months after
cur marriage, he told me at breakfast
that he intended leaving ME alone for a
few weeks, to stay with his mother, who
was not very we'll. Fe watched the
effect OF this announcement on me, but
though I was really displeased, I con-
cealed my annoyance, and asked care
lessly when he would start.
He replied, the next day if l had no
objection, and so it was settled.
BE was moro affectionate than usual
that day, and I was colder than ever; I
only once allnded to his journey, and
that was to ask if I might have my sister
Maud to stay while he was gone.
The next morning I was anxious to
avoid a formal parting, SO 1 drove to the
station with him. AS the train moved
of, I remembered this was our first
parting since our marriage, and [ wished
I had not been go cold.
When T got home the house looked so
dreary and empty and there was no n
to meet me; presently u Of the SER
wants came for the slawls, and with her
Nero, Mr.. Cartwright's retriever, which,
when he saw I was alone, set up a howl
for his'naster. Ipatted him and tried
to comfort him, feeling rebuked by his
grief, as he followed me, whining, into
the house. Every room seemed empty,
and each spoke of the absent master. At
last I wandered into his study, where he
spent his mornings and liked me to sit
and work; and now I remembered how
often I had excused myself, saying I
preferred my drawing-room, and this re-
Election did not add to my happiness.
There was a photograph of me stand
ing on his writing-table, and another on
the chimney-piece; on the walls hung
Two or three of my drawings, which he
had begged of me when we were en-
gagged; indeed, the wa full Of lit
tIeAfemembrances of me; I opened a
book I had given him, and in it was his
name in my handwriting, and under
meath in his own. From my darling
wife" I laid it down with a sigh, as I
thought how carefully he treasured
everything I had ever given him, and
how little care l took of all his gifts to
me-.
Everything I attempted, everything
looked at reminded me of his good
ness to me and Of my coldness and in
gratitude to him. At last I went to bed,
where, after working myself into a fever
of anxiety lest he should not have
reached the end of his journey in safety,
I at length cried myself to sleep.
The next morning I went down to
breakfast with a heavy heart, for I knew
I could not hear from him till the next
day; it seemed SO strange to breakfast
lone, and Nero appeared to think so,
too, Tor he was unhappy, shifting round
his masters chair in the most melan-
choly manner
My plate, for the first time since my
marriage, was empty, as I sat down to
breakfast, for my husband, who was an
early riser, always had a little bouquet
to greet me with every morning; fire.
quently I forgot all about it, and left it
to be put into water by the servant; this
morning I would have treasured il most
carefully if he had gathered It.
After breakfast I determined to rouse
myself and g and visit some Of the poor
people in the village, so I filed my bas-
ket with some little delicacies for the
sick and set out.
Wherever I went it was the same
story, all held forth on my husbands
goodness and kindness, for oil had been
helped by him in some way or other,
and all loved and respected him. As 7
listened with burning cheeks I felt as if
I was the only person on earth who had
treated him with cruel ingratitude, and
[ was the very person whom he most
loved and cherished.
At last l went home, tired and sick at
Ii Kart, but there was no nj to notice I
was pnle and worn.out, no one to get me
wine or soup to revive me, no q to
make me lie do vi and rest, as he would
have done had he been there. On, how
I missed HIM What a fool I had been!
Was there ever q wonlan loved and cared
for as I had been? Was there ever a
friend 80 upgrateful? Oh why had I
ever let him leave me? I was sure he
never would come back. Why had he
gone away2