Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1878-04-12

AS NsalH - !. oproach
tbc alr E#6.UH u the spores Of
thcsa OTIS.
gDe.s j. red one buzzing III
fho M;nIigA 81 Dodgeville, and he
foods on Whirl-winds and earthquakes,
and drinks cataracts for beverage.
ne don't begin to shed till about
fho hind end OF June, and then he
coughs off in wonderful pancgyrlcs.
ui5 ordinary performances ON the
declaration create such q succession
or clectrifying ebullitions that Inc
II. ounds and fortunes the very bones
Gr the American eagle, till it rends
and tears the pike staff in agony.
lie has made specially OF the Dec
ialation of Independence for the last
fourteen years, and has never lost u
case yet.
lie can repeat il backward as well
40 forward begin in the middle and
pronounce il both ways 1T once.
Whom he comes TO the clause "lie
ba3 cndcavored to prevent the pop
uIation OF these States he bGtrays
such pathos and carncstnesS That every
Old bachelor wrings his weeping nose
81 ith conviction.
lie can read IL ~ clear as u church
deacon can his title to mansions in the
al.ies.
lie can read ii up side down swing
jng from II trap1Ae, without pal
;ncing pole, and never drop n comma.
lie Gun chew up Declarations and
l,oM tl,em out Of his mouth in ribbons
Iaintcd with stars and stripes.
~ can sing il TO the tune Of "llold
u.o Fort" or "lIail C,lunb ia," with
hi1 hands ticl bclii a back.
lie can spoil i tlu.t N one leg
~ i half bushel.
llo Gun speak il Oh ,,o... sides OF u
board fenco without touching his
Haads.
IL no would repeatit in the presence
Of Thomas Jeiferson's epitaph, he
would make il think il was on the
u ong tombstone.
no can pronounce ii in such u mai
lo' that John Hancock would deny
tl3 own signature.
l.he first time the Declaration was
ra%l in America. IL caused seven
yves war hut this Dodgevillo reader
calt render il In such manner that
10 disturbance will occur except II
iat dog fights.
10 is tho only licensed reader Of the
i,.elaration there Is in town. lie is
: agod now in getting up n new one,
81, 18Th think will draw better than
( a old one; ~ IL will contain some
to lern improvements, such as bevel
cures, breoch loading, and will also
ain u knee-swell, compensation
T ace, and storm indicator. II il 4
j ,rs u success he will have il char
Z #s by tho legislature and 4 schedule
lles established by law.
ncli0vo the last time no used the
,nc was on tho fair ground on the
rg.ing Of the Sd of july last, and the
ks arc there yet some women
cnch TO DO passing by and heard
,d they inquired Of their neigh
! 4, next day IL any OF their root
rs had caycd in; SO you can see
so Is nothing injurious 'ahout his
her of delivering ii, ] would not
raid to let him read il To Il il0ck
,eep after they were shoarcd, if
were no very young lambs
~ them, Some have thought his
cations were 50 deep tllat goslings
INT survive moro than about six
.oasons for Independence; but
THINK there need be the least APP
onsion Of danger, especially if the
AgS were eighteen or nineteen
old, Cattle have been known to
! in tho folds II IL where hC has
reading without manitcsting aliy
!, Of fright moro than simply to
!, over AL eight foot stone wall and
nper away ten OF iiteetn miles.
pnoN SMILES.
lex Pomcroy can not be found
ne the "nationals.'
" pIghtN-nNunu StnlIpNn NaS