The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1878-03-15
WIT AND HUMOR.
SEE water-Tears.

WIT AND HUMOR.
SEE water-Tears.
LOCK of air-Thunderbolt.
AN ink-ined plane-A page OF Ms.
NEVER take umbrage or umbrellas.
CRoss-EYBp men are naturally K
sighted.
EVEN barrel-hoop will turn when
trod upon.
A SET of teeth things-Dentist's m
struments.
A ou1oK-sor-Io proceeding-Drinking
beer on wager.
"MIsFoRrUNEs never come singly."
Same way with twins.
THE tune the old COW died OF, must
have been written in beef flat. /"
"REAL- ESTATE raffles" are announced
in Texas. They draw lots, you know.
A BABY, according to the French, is
an angel whose wings decrease as It's legs
lengthen.
TT was Brigham Young's son who
wroie the line, What is home without
mother?"
Or what use is it to strike for higher
wagesl Every employee gets hire
wages.
THE difference between cashiers is,
that the good ones have cash-here, and
the bad ones cashmere. lover there !
Over there !"
IT is not surprising that Mr.. Diogenes,
who went poking around with lantern,
couldn't find an honest man. We were
not yet born.-Norristo,o Herald.
SoHooLM1sTREss Gust beginning a nice
improving lesson upon minerals to the
juniors): "Now, what are the principal
things we get out of the earth ?"
Youthful angler, (etat 4 conidentially):
"Worms !"
"SUPPosE we pass q law" said O Sc
we're father to his daughters, that no
girl under Is years old who can't cook
shall get married until she learns how to
do it?" "Why, then, we'd all get mar
ried at 17p' responded the girls In a
sweet chorus.
As WILLIAM drew his Susie
He whispered to his bride:
"Thoush queer 1t sounds love, my dear,
To live by Steys ride"
When years have passed and sue his head
Has clutched as wives oft do,
Poor Will win wish that he had wed
Bone other sort of Sioux.
GENTLE SPRING.
Another sixty days or 30,
And where the sAow-bird pranks
dozen sons OF Italy
WIN kerosene their cranks.
And, stirring up the innards
OF that hurdy gurdy thing,
Insult the air Of heaven
With tho lie Of " Gentle Spring"
A CAT belonging to family on South
L.. 4. a IL - IL
years, and has entirely lost all power of
expressing its emotions by audible
sounds. And it is just heart-breaking
to see that voiceless cat 60 out in the
moonlight and climb onto the shed roof
and try, by violent and emotional pam
tomine, to express yowl that could
break pane of window-glass eight
hundred yards away. Eye.
CRUMBS FROM THE BREAKFAST TABLE,.
"Well, swan, Billy" said an old
farmer to al understood nephew who
was visiting him, "when You take off
that ere plug hat and spit two or three
times, tEore amt much left of you, is
tn ?"
One reason why the Chinese are be-
coming so popular as kitchen servants
is that they keep their hair out of the
butter. John never lees one of them get
away. No hair means no heaven with
him.
No wonder the girls are always ready
to tread the uncertain path of matri-
mony. Mrs. Dennison has made enough
money out of "That Husband of Mine"
to buy brick house with two bay win
dows.
The man who has the courage to live
within his income in these degenerate
days Of show and feathers don't get half
the credit for it he should have-but he
don't care much. He pays the cash
every time, and asks no favors.
A young lady at Listowell, Ont, was
sent to jail last week for swearing be-
cause her black hair dropped into the
gutter when she jumped out of buggy,
and now the Canadian women want free
ballot and female police Judges.
/ ITO cure sleeplessness eat an onion
or two previous TO retiring" says a
medical writer. Origins has tried it.
and his wife will sell her furs to reward
the hickman who will set her down at the
door OF the doctor who published the
above discovery. Orig has also come
to the conclusion that he would sooner
toss about recklessly on a feather bed
till the ROSTERS crow than TO pass the
night In the wash-house snoring like a
policeman.