The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1878-07-11
Ali Sorts OF Paragraphs.


- The hen becomes rooster when the
sun goes down.
= Never stop to argue the point with
al excited hornet.
= AN unpleasant sort Of arithmetic
Division among families.
- Man glories in his strength woman
in her hair; and boarding house but
ter b. metimes glories in both.
| =. Scientific agriculturists speak of the
fruit belt Of the South. II ia where
green apples strike the small boy.
: Troy, New York, wants ladies'
swimming club. The little ducks Who
could grudge them little dive,ersion
| = 1.-THE parting gives me pain" sighed
the man who was combing his hair for
| the 6rst time after O two weeks spree.
- The HdWkeye tells of tramp who
asked for q loaf Of bread, plate of pota-
toes. and q round of beef, to fill long
felt want.
- AT old Irishman watching 4 game
of base ball, YVES sent to grass by foul
which struck him under the fifth rib.
"a fowl, wuz it? Begorra, I thought it
| vas @ mule" .s~f
| = Presepcc of mind is great thing.
A FloyE avenue man, whose wife was at
tackel By Q cross dog, promptly crawied
under the ateps of a cooper's shop, and
did net get hurt at all.
A Buffalo man dreamed that he Yves
going over the falls, and he had his wife
by tho throat when he woke up. Next
| night she had g dream, and broke his
nose as she struck at an Indian.
- "Do those bella sound an alarm oi
fire 2" said O stranger the other Sunday,
as the church bells were calling togeth-
or the worshippers. eyes, ,"was the reply,
"but the fire is in the next world.
= i doesn't do eng erA,fa 10 80 20 6
| picnic and stand, on the river bank and
| admire the gorgeous sunset, and talk
about tender beauties Of Nature tc q man
who has just sat down on custard pie.
= An exchange very appropriately
says. that "the man who borrnva q newa-
paper instead of subscribing for one, is
the man WHO ,lill try. to crawl over the
wall of Heaven instead Of passing
through st. Peters gate"
| = The latest yarn about fast time is To
| the effect that on O Certain Toad d youf1E
man puts his head out of the car VIM
dow to kiss hiR girl good.by, when the
train pulled out 40 rapidly that he kissed
au Old African female ct the next ste.
lGiOn.,it'r. y, - ii' oes.si,yffn-t.,,;
T.. - Olive Logan interviewed Grant in
Paris the other, day, and quotes him al
making this reply to her suggestion about
o third term: "If there were no other
obstacle in the way, there Is Tho yery
great oIis-f am thoroughly tired Of PUB.
-i'Whas glorious world this would
be, if oil its inhabitants could ndy; with
shakespeare sh5rhe5d sFSir, / am true
labnrer: earn, what / wear; Z owe NO
man hate ;;envy no mans, happiness
glad Of ether meas good, and lcontant with
my, farm - g. e.
S:E auhSo from AIa.ne, on pay
ing his bill in a London restaurant, was
told that the sum pit. down didn't
include the waiter. "Wal," he roared
~ didn't eat any waiter, did 1 n he
looked as though ne could, and there wat
no further discu s.op. a3y ..ti. = s,i.,t.i
.l-'"Ten dimes make one dollar" said
the schoolmaster. snow. go, on, cir.
Ten dollars make one-whatY" "They
make one mighty glad these times;r re.
piled the, boy, aud the teacher, who
| hadn't got his last months salary yet
concluded the boy was about right. |
I - L. Upiin the loft the old man kept q
keg ofthe very best. The carpenter who
! had heenrworking on the A=ss. fcer was
found in the LOFT, and he tried to fool the
old gent by saying that he had ..just come
| up. to measure o rafter,h The old nan
simply yinEed and said, 'tI think you're
after ihy measures 'e ifi''''aa' F'4 ,''f3l I
!-s An experienced lady observed that
d goody way 20 pick out q husband Ii to
sss 'scss a.css patiently iss waits sor diune1
when it'ig behind time. The husband
remarks that good way to pick, out b
wife 10 to seq whether the woman has
dinner ready iat the proper time, Ladies
will please. observe. 8,
/ "A few Giends viii 20 and bury rs
affection Will rear a stone and plant q
| few. foWera over our earthly grave; In
brief period the little ihillocE viii bs
snoothed down and the stones will fall
dad heitherlifFiend, nor strangers will he
concernad 10 aak. uhieh ane &c; ee:sc..sS .s |; |;
miliions ofthe eearth have vanished away
All the little memorials cf our remem.
berance---the lock of hair encased in
gold, or the portrait that hung. in our
dwelling, will cease TO have the slightest
value to any living being. 90 sPFYees
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