The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-06-23

the "milliner bird" because of the effect of
beauty he produces and the means.
Pastoral:
The weather is fragrant and gay,
All covered with new mown hey;
And down on the lea
The musical bee
Sings, Whaek- fol- de- riddle de-day.
Bucolie:
The mild-eyed COW Is grazing now
On pastures fair and green;
And now we eat grass butter sweet
On, Leah Margarine.
Edison having invented machine so sus-
eeptible that it will measure the temperature
of the stars the Danbury Nelo8 exclaims,
with thrill OF delight, with one OF these at
his bedside man can tell when his wife has
got the kitchen warm enough for him to VEN
much to ennoble and beautify this life"
A little boy hearing some one remark that
nothing was quicker than thought, said, II
know something that is quicker than
thought" "What Is 1t, Johnny asked his
ps in whist 1sgsrS 5sd YQRn sa w yora
thought, and got licked for it, too"
Why is lazy dog like sheet Of writing
paper?
The victim ponders "Slope upl All, hum,
yes, but don't quite see how a sheet OF writ
Well, amt sheet of writing paper an ink
lined plane
After-dinner orator: TITS in the wonderful
insight inter'uman nature that Dickens gets
the pull over Thaekeray; but on t'other hand,
it's in the brilliant shafts o. satire, t'gether
with a Keen sense O humor, that Dickery
gets the pull over Thaekens It's just this:
Thickeray Is the humorist and Dackens Is the
satirist. But, after all, it's 'bsurb to instoot
any comparison between Dackery and Thick
ems"
Enter young husband, who throws himself
into q chair and uypfoi INC 1sWhut I foot
again, Maria! 1 do call that hard upon fell
lerl Why, you had a toothache when left
this morning! And here have been at Ep-
som all day, with the joliest lot o. fellers ever
money, and had no end Of a jolly time, and
did think I should find something cheerful
and Jolly to greet Teller when got home
And there you are Ltoothache again. do
call 1t hard upon a feller-precious hard p
Punch.
Miss Kellogg says newspaper men are just
like demons-fit only to be squeezed as much
as possible, then tossed aside. You just keep
your distance Clara Kellogg. Policel Police!
Il Buffalo Express. Firei Thieyesl MUIR
der In. Y. Commercial. Quiti He, he, he;
no, hol Git tl-lBoston Globe. Ali Obi
Have done now, Clara Louise. We had no
idea you were SO strong in the arms: go way!
you've jumbled our necktie terribly; besides,
our wife is coming Il Boston Commercial Bull
letin. Well, then, only one, now; sh-h-there.
RUub ~ hlAa NlSbk6hy y6h NC W6hCA h1l5 UbDJ
| II Hawkeye.
An Elizabeth street mule kicked G., B. Il
| O. baggage master the other day. The bag
gage master turned, laid his hands on the
| mules neck and crupper holder, shouted
| "Illinois, 20, s17!" and the family Ia the
| house across the street ran down in the cellar
to escape the tornado. The veterinary sur.
geon told the Elizabeth street man it was nc
use to have the blacksmith mend the Shoes
because the mule could never walk on them
/ Ixo,. <Ir~ IL.
down to the depot, yawned, stretched him
self, and said he wished business would pick
up, he was getting too fat and lazy for any.
thing. Burlington Hawkeye.
Now that the existence of that place Of in.
exhaustible sulphuric deposit is denied, how
| is one to obey the mandate OF the excited
truckman when your pony ebaise gets in his
way, or the request Of the festive crowd that
obstructs the street corner when you desire
to pass, the command Of the fellow whom yor
demonstrate with for shaking dusty mai
upon crowded sidewalk, or the expressed
desire, as he departs, Of the proprietor Of the
fragrant pipe who persists In enjoying 1t upor
your door step? We can't go to a place thai
does not exist. The best we can do Is to turr
to the columns Of some OF our contempora
ries.-[St. Louis Post.
A Boston man has vest that Fanny Fern
made with her own hands. And we will bet G
hundred dollars that it never did and never
| will fit any man in this wide, wide world
that they can't tell 1t by its shape whether IL
was originally made for fat woman or lear
man; for man with sway back, or mar
with hump on his back like q camel. Wo.
man, heaven bless her, is the light Of oul
homes, but when she tries to make q mans
vest, the angels weep. And when she makes
pair Of pantaloons for him, the immorta
gods just hold their sides and run away Out
into the woods and roll on the grass and howl
The Cabinet meeting yesterday was dis
turbed by a very bitter quarrel between the
Secretary of War and the Secretary of thC
Navy. This quarrel, which is the first thai
has marred the harmony OF the pleasant
Cabinet meetings, grew out of dispute be
tween the two secretaries about a line of bat
tie, the Secretary of War insisting that it wal
chalk mark drawn on the ground by thu
generals, which the opposing parties .'toed'
when they began fighting, wlllie the Score
ser that tied the flag ship to the dispatch boat
to keep it from running away during a bat
tle.-[ Burlington Hawkeye.
Mr. Rryant's Kindness of Heart.