Daily Republican., 1878-10-31
mUMssROUs.

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At the Jardin d.s Planters, Paris, q
young sculptor, who was studying ami
mails made the acquaintance Of pretty
and piquant nnrss girl. who, however,
threw him overheard and took up with q
soldier. The dssolute young artist
thereupon took u writing upon all the
walls the h.art-cry: ~ lore Adele, -
hoping that II would touch her heart.
The wilful girl, to escape this r.proach
to her perfdy, at last made her habit
ual resort the iron bench In front Of
the rhinOceros. The seat could not be
written on and thsr. was no wall. Here
she and her soldier would sit watched
by her jealous lover One day the
girl glanced at the huge animal. On
Its horn was carved heart, beneath
which were the words, ~ still love
Adele and am waiting at the duck
pond" Tear. came TO her eyes; In a
moment the soldiers arms were encir-
cling the ambient atmosphere. and the
nurse. maid said to her youthful char
ges: "Com- my dears, let us go and
see the pretty ducks"
TIL hardest fighter in Beidsn, Mich,
saunters into q barroom, leans on the
bar, and says 10 the loungers: "W-ll,
boys, what'ye going to drink" The
loungers range themselves In front Of
the bar and call for various beverages.
The fighter says, "Give M. q glass Of
ale;" and, after all have drank, lays
Down five cents. The bartender saysthat
the bill Is seventy cents, or whatrv-r
the amount happens TO be. "The hill be
blowsd," explains the fighter; ~ pays
for what | drinks-ons beer. five cents.
] didn't treat them f-llers. just asked
I'm what they'd drink, out Of mere
curiosity"
Some man with an ragsrDess for
fame has invented spring.seat saddle
that will rock a man TO sleep, ON the
hardrst-going animal. What this coun-
try needs is some kind Of saddle that
will hold man down on til. roof Of a
horse when he suddenly, and with
out warning, points at the sky with his
tail.
A Clergyman who had just PERFORM
ed wedding ceremony, and was filling
out blank description Of the parties,
asked the husband what his business
wasi ~ ahi wine merchant and q
shoemaker" WAS the reply. eyes"
chim.d in the bride, $50 you can set
him down AZ sherry -cobbler."
Two old Scotch Topers were found by
q friend, after the fourteenth tumbler,
gripping one another by the hand
Will. maudlin tears ran down their
cheeks. When they were asked the
cause Of their grief, one of them tx
claimed, "Eh, mon, we're just gree'in'
owre the sair burden o the National
debit" .s-.--
A Scotch farmer had determined, in
spite of the bad times to lay his rent,
II 1t were his last shilling, and, saying
to the factor who received it, "It L. my
last shilling" he threw down q roll Of
notes. The factor counted them and
said: There is $50 too much" "Odds,
mani said the farmer, put my hand
in tn. wrong pouch"
"There's something in tn. misior-
tunes Of our best friends" said that
mercil-ss satirist Of human nature,
Rouchefaucauld, mot altogether dis
pleasing to u.s." This is the reason
why Hendricks smiles blandly, and
gently huns to hius-lf an old love
ditty AZ he cons over the Pelton Marble
dispatches.
A lady entering horse car observed
an elderly gentleman rise. She said
to him: Don't rise, beg of you
much prefer you should keep your
seat, SIR" 81 should be- very happy
to accommodate you, madame, but !
want to get out here"
A workingwoman says II the sturdy, !
industrious girls should stop marrying
and supporting the fellows who stand
on the street corners and smoke fifteen
cent cigars for living, there would be
ten tramps on the road where there is
one now.
A seaside belle left her bathing shoes
hanging ont Of her hotel window to
dry, and the next day the local paper
announced that such hotel had put
up new awnings Of unique design"
Mrs. Partington says the only way
to prevent steamboat explosions is to
make the engineers bile the water on
shore. In her opinion all the Dustin
is done by cookin' the steam on board.
''Do they ring two bells for school 7"
asked father Of his ten-year old daugh-
ter, who attends nigh school. "No, pa;
they ring the same bell twice." she re-
piled.
Business-like wife-"I'm sure you
charge too much for your pictures, my
love, beautiful as they are. If yon
were to ask quarter Of the price, you
would sell twice as many"
Elder sister: "Oh, you fancy your
self very wise, dare say, but could
give you wrinkle or two!" Younger
sister: "No doubt-and never miss
them"
When the trees leaves out in Spring,
they have a new dress; when the leaves
tnrr -, Hall th.u b,ua onnthnr ,,nu,