Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1878-01-09
HumOrsOme Waits.

ROWLAND HUI said, when he saw boy
on a rocking-hurse, Like some Christians
motion enough, but no progress"
WHAT is the difference between charity
and tailor The first covers multitude
OF sins the latter multitude Of sinners.
THERE are beautiful warm soda springs
III Colorado, and people who go bathing in
them al once exclaiin "Oh, but this is
soda-liciousl"
A KANSAS widow writes to one of our
contemporaries that almost the last thing
her beloved husband did was to renew his
subscription 10 the paper.
"GENTLEMEN, | introduce to you nv
friend, who isn't as stupid as he appears to
be-" Introduced friend, with vivacity ::
That's precisely the difference between my
friend aud myself
The war maps of Europe don't get in
quite enough mountains Ii there was one
more range people would feel certain that
there was not enough level ground in Turkey
for croquet party.-Detroh Free Press.
MA-T.R-I-M-o.N.Y had been promptly
spelled by little six-year-old Now define
it, said the teacher. Well" replied the
boy, " ! don't exactly know what it means !;
but know mothers got enough of it,"
"MIsrER, will you lend pa your paper :?
He wants to send it to his uncle in the
country" "Oh, certainly; and ask your
father if he'll Just lend Inc the roof of his
house only want it to make the tea
kettle boil"
"YoU ought TO acquire the faculty of be.
ing at home in the best society,"" said a
fashionable aunt to an honest nephew
manage that easily enough" replied the
nephew, "by staying at home with my wifi
and children"
EVEN the church-going infants of Toledo
are precociously wicked. On recent sun
day small child grabbed all the coin OH
the contribution plate in church in that
city, and had TO be violently shaken before
he could be convinced that his date for re-
sumption had not been reached Cieceidnd
HerdM.
A SUBSCRIPTION list was circulated with
a view to obtaining subscriptions towards
the erection OF new church. When it was
laid before wel-to-do grocer, he thus sub
scrlbed name aud amount Samuel Spriggs,
(the only place in town where you can get
eleven pounds OF sugar Tor dollar) five
dollars"
A PERSON who was recently called into
court Tor the purpose OF proving the correct
ness OF surgeons bill was asked by the
lawyer whether the doctor did not make
several visits after the patient was out OF
danger 2" No." replied the witness, "
considered the patient in danger SO long as
the doctor continued his visits"
"THAr's where the boys fit for college,"
said the professor to Mrs. Partington, point
lag 10 a school-house. Did they z" said the
old lady, with animation Then if they
tit for college before they went, they didn't
fight afterwards Z" Yes" said he, smiling,
and lavoring the deceit but the fight was
with the head, hot with the hands" Butted
did they 2" said the old lady.
A coon story is told of Ben Buffers sar.
castle retort upon Massachusetts Judge
whom he was teasing for ruling favorable
TO a cause he was defending IN court The
Judge got out of patience at last, aud some
what testify exclaimed, MIR, Butler, what
do you think | sit here for 2" Ben quietly
shrugged his shoulders, and replied, The
court has got me now"
SPANISH robbers are proyerbially polite
An Englshman was once accosttd on
lonely road by rutfan. Sir, you have
my coat on may ! trouble you for it :"
The Englishman drew pistol, and told the
fellow he was mistaken. Sir" said the
robber 81 perceive that | am. Win you do
me the honor TO communicate your name
! that may remember YOU in my prayers ="