The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1878-06-27
HUMOROUS ITEMS.

| ITEMS.
Blessed are the peas.makera. NE
How to raise elephantsEUse a derrick.
How to keep u shad fresh--Don't catd
him.
The Colosseum Of R~hodes-The Union Pa
aino- III .raH yslo sds - 39n mi,
T.. A standard work7-History Of the Amerl
The most popular ring in the county
The circus .a5Ifot 90 10 Y'H
Toimaks a monkey wrench, feed him Ii,
hrst green apples rs4a q.siassn4 $50 mi,
Fretting i . sort of religious swearing o
troubles.--OH City Can.
do editors ever do wrong p" enc
What do they do ind" They do writet
We suspect that war islgoing to be inevi
table for several years yet--BaBab En-
press
l4l Very few brass bands in a military parade
can play as many airs AZ a dram-major put,
on. ID 8y81afFsl Ilaat d3iid %
II you don't want to be robbed Of YOU
good name, don't have Il painted on YOU
Ayoung lady In Utica Is 90 refined thai
she invariably alludes to tho Spitz as q
6 cuspadore dog. - UGca O6serrer se1eY
There are only 300 shades Of blue. We
sometimes feel as though there were twice
as many.-7Traer's Falls Reporter. -
A Bowery tailor advertises |: " Gentlemen
furnishing their own cloth will be trimmed
and made to order at the shortest possible
notice. ~"
Passenger Gin a hurry: "Is this train
punctunl 2 10 Porter "Yessir, generally 4
quarter Of an hour late to o minute."-
The poker player who bets his pile on
three Queens learns by sad experience what
the divine right Of kings A--Ne1 Loadon
b. What's the difference between a barter
for victuals and the chamber of commerce :
One is q trade for board and the other IL q
board Of trade.
A North Carolina girl pierced her ears In
order TO get Q pair Of earrings, and got in.
stead o four and o -half pound tumor, which
a surgeon has removed. ~.
The coast Of Florida has but one Musouito
inlet, but the intsrior Of Florida has q mus
quito bar for every bedstead. And the VII
lains stil1 pursue them--Ol Ciy Derrick.
ADutchman about to make q journey to
his fatherland, md wishing to say a rood.
bye = 70 % friend, extended his hand md
said We'll, of ! ton't como back, hullo.h
Hotel guest, on retiring want to get
up ct eight o'clock" Facetfous night
clerk as Have not got one, sir" .sGucst |:
Nct got what ~ Clerk; {" A potatoe
J The Cincinnati Enquirers Essay on Man
is In one canto a. follows, ,,-s s,Ila
l1f ~. YuIi Of vocs; f444T
+, nsA Up 10 p ssss.a igeaoa t.s.
A~country editor claims to be independents
because he 8 wears NO mans COLLAR" For
that matter he may BE- wearing no shirt.
and yet have d mind bound In the neck and
biased all over. ada iflr F7ff N0l7aTI
An optical delusion.-TravelIer : HHif
Guard Have you seen q man walking
about with one eye Of tho name Of Walkerf"
Guard, musingly "N-no, sir l dunno q
! ave. .Whnt was the name Of the other
''o'At TsuaS' au g3yll esfiF "a
"The Life Guards are the tallest soldiers
In the world" boasted On Englishn1S1.
I" Whewl" retorted Pnddy, you psv6r
saw the South Tippernry Artillery militia ; +
40 W %Ak @A88 WAASA WHY 1--WE ~ Lno
ground II makes them dixzy."ihD ~ s2ailI
AIondon divine advertises his addresses
with suoh titles a. : " Tho Talking Dom
key" Tho Devil Among tho Pigs," "A
Little MN Up o Tree" Tho first Of these
must surely have IN photographed flavor,
Il not the lattor.--C Ongrsodtionakst. uoa "a
An Oxford professor, examining . student
on Bible history, asked him why Moses was
buried BY he Lord In such o secret place
hat the Isrnelites could not find him. The
youth replied TINT he supposed II was for
lear they would dig up his body md stuff 1t.
This young person was the son Of q show
man. netia1 Fri
~ don't know what you mean by not
being ON lrshman,n said q gentleman who
about hiring q boy, " but you were born
in Ireland Ooh, your honor, II that's
said the boy, " small blanc to that
Suppose POUR cat was to have Kittens In the
oven, would they be leaves Of bread - 81
"Mr. Tapenthread isn't in, / sse,p said
old shopper to the clerk in attendance.
"No m, hos ut home to-day.nistesf 5sf,
! 81 suppose no In nothing new 80
. Yes IN, he has he's got pneumonia. = +,
"You don't say 30 what are you getting
q yard for monia. nowf" s Is s1g5r,.
Hostess (~whispering to Distinguished
Amateur) II want you to sing next.n
Amateur Whose voice Is not
quite what It used to bel: "I thought /
wasn't to sing till quite at the end.1 Hos
tess I" Yes-but there are not ices enough,
and I want some of the people to go.SZ
Punch. grermos ffs..
A Tennessee lady claims TO own a gram
mar which was used by Henry Clay when
he was q boy, Unless the back ia tplit up 1
the middle. al the fly leaves torn out, and
the impression Of . msshed fly here md
throughout the book, you may wager
that Henry didn't use the grammar much.
-No,Tist0cn Herald.
A mother whose crying infant made the
sermon Of her pastor almost innudible WINS
going from the hall when the clergyman
spoke up, saying: my good woman, don't
go away. The baby doesn't disturb me-"
= 1t isn't for that l leave, sir" WINS her re-g
oily, its you disturbs the baby!ennA
A college professor encouraged his COX
doggy clnss t. collect specimens. and one
lay they deposited n piece Of brick. streak
ell and stained, with their collection, think
iag to impose on the doctor. Taking up
the Specimens, tbe professor remarked:
This 4 4 pienolof baryt, from the Chesh-
IRE mines" Holding up another "This
"a n piece Of fefdspar from the Portland
iuarries; and this" coming to the brick,
g is a piece Of impudence from some mem
Ger OF The Glass; ~ a..isa "a
81 hab henrn," said o colored preacher.
~hile enforcing the duty Of liberality ON
bis congregation, . oh many o church what
hab died bekase it glib away too little for de
Lord, but I neber hearn OBJ any what died