Nebraska advertiser., 1878-05-30

unnoticed, but In most cases the min
lister boldly meets the emergency by
announcing from the pulpit that 1.-The
annual visit to the pastor" will take
place on such day whsreupon the
congregation meekly collects Its beans
and pen-wipers, and testifies In the
usual manner its love for its pastor.
Naturally, the donation party is q
solemn and depressing affair. When
people who do not want to give
away anything, give to their pastor
things which he does not want, the
ceremony does not promote hilarity.
In order to render the donation party
somewhat less gloomy than funeral.
those who bring gifts usually include
among them supply of cake, sand
wiches, and In some cases Ice cream.
These refreshments are distributed In
equal proportions between the interior
of the visitors and the exterior of the
minister's carpets and chair cushions,
and hollow pretense of cheerfulness
is thus kept up.
Meanwhile, all the children of the
congregation retire to the second story
front bedroom, where they play va
rious games and break a good deal of
furniture. The children have much
the best of the whole affair. and they
add materially to the anguish OF the
minister's wife, as she wonders how
many Of them will fall against the
stove, and whether they will set the
house on fire when they upset the
lamp.
The peculiar character of Rev. Mr..
Wilcox's recent donation party, and
the unfortunate results which followed
IL, were due solely to his small boys
disgust at being forbidden to take part
in the Juvenile cake orgies OF the par
ty.
A week before the date fixed for the
annual visit to the pastor, this small
boy had been detected In the act of
creeping into his bedroom window at
midnight, after a secret visit to the
circus. The ensuing interview with
his father did not materially depress
his spirits, since he took the precau-
ton to plate the vital portion of his
trowsers with concealed shingles but
when he was sternly told that, as a
further penalty, he would be put to
bed at precisely six o'clock on the
night of the donation party, he felt
his punishment was inhumaD, and
wickedly resolved to "get square," as
be profanely remarked, with his faith
er, no matter what it might cost.
During the next six days. that as
tGte but fearfully depraved small boy
called upon every one of his fathers
parishioners, and first pledging them
to secrecy. explained. with tearB in
his eyes, that his father was passion
ately fond of cabbages, and II any one
desired to gladden. the parental heart,
they would bring few cabbages to the
donation party.
The small boy further asserted that
his fathers sense of delicacy farbade
him to make the most distant allusion
to cabbages, but that as an affection
ate son, he-the small boy-felt Il to
be his duty to mention the matter to
some noble and generous man.
Each parishioner was delighted ty |
this display of filial affection, and the
recollection that cabbages were ex-
tremely cheap, and unhesitatingly |
promised that he would bring a whole
load of cabbages.
The night of the donation party ar
rived, and the small boy went to bed
but not to sleep. With much fore
thought he had stolen the key of his
bedroom, and thus rendered 1t Inn
possible for his father to keep him
close prisoner. Each parishioner ar
rived in a large farm wagon, which,
after having discharged its human
freight at the front door, was driven
into the yard, The minister and his
wife did not, OF course, Know the con-
tents of the wagon, butsupposing that
the popular feeling was expressing
itself to an unprecedented extent In
wood, flour barrels, and winter apples,
were greatly delighted.
At $50, sixty-three wagons had en-
tered the yard, and only three pecks
of beans and eleven pen-wipers had !
been deposited on the parlor table.
The happy minister was beginning
to think that at least twenty cords of
wood, together with say dozen bar
rels of flour, must have been deliv.
erep in the back yard, when sudden
ly bis small boy, confident that he
would not be punished In public. en-
tered the psrlor, and exclaimed in an
excited tone:
Father. there's morenamillion
oads of cabbage out-doors."
At this moment the sixty-fourth 6
wagon arrived, and the owner, Dea-
Jon Lyman, put his head in the front
ioor, and remarked that be "had I
brought few cabbages. but SEEN the 1
Yard was chuck full, he calculated he s
night as we'll dump them under the I
ront windows"
The alarmed minister went out has t
lily. and bsheld mountain of cab q
ages. There was not a stick of wood |
Tor barrel of flour, nor bushel of c
pples in sight. Sixty-three full loads '
# cabbages were piled up nearly to s
be second story-windows of the par