Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-10-13
miscellaneous Items.

a Durgier broke into New JERSEY
mouse. devourei a quantity of mince-meat
and cropped dead at the gate Never
theless, pass that pie.-Detroit Free Press.
"Dere was only leedIe difference be-
tween us" said burly Teuton who had
just hossewhipped another. 81 was OK
hided und he vas cowhided-do ALL
| Pluck.
They pulled the boots off man before
they buried him in Deadwood the other
day, causing the local paper to come out
IN severe article denouncing 'sextrava-
gance at funerals"
An old granger, who came Ii to town
to purchase piano for his daughter,
asked the agent if he hadn't one with a
handle in the end, $50 we can all give it
a turn once in while.''
A clergyman who was recently called
up to hold services IN the state prison at
Sing Sing, prefaced his remarks to the
prisoners by saying that he was 'slad to
see SO large number present"
An editor with nine unmarried daush-
tiers was recently made Justly indignant
by the misconstruction his on.emporaies
put upon his able leader on "The De-
mand for Men. "-Burlington Hawkeve.
Editors like brevity, bnt man who
was recently hung in Indiana suited them
TOO we'll. He made no remarks abont
| heaven, but nodded to the preacher and
SAID iii see you later" and then the
| trap fell
The Norristown Herald wants to send
the ninc-wived man to jail for $50 wears
because no fair minded gentleman would
Try to make corner in wives until DR..
Mary Walker and Mr.. Tilden had each
secured one.
A Chicago girl left Cape May the other
day wearing five different engagement
rings. She goes in for troy weight in
stead of love. This is one of the D-Troy-t
Free Press weightiess jokes.-New York
Commercial AdDertiser.
A lecturer, addressing mechanics
institution, commended that: cart could
not improve nature" when one of the
audience set the whole assembly in a
roar by exclalming: How would you
look without yeur wig2'
Fussy and partially deaf officer, ID
specting stables: "Ah, Smith, what on
earth have you been cleaning your har-
ness w4th?" Smith: sNothing, sir"
Officer: "Ah, then don't do it with that
again; see how it rots the leather
Fun.
The cooks in Boston have struck fryer
wages.-G Graphic. Their interests were
probably at steak.-Bost0n Post. That is
we'll UNDERSIGNED. Commercial Bulletin.
Iha business, in fact, being over-done
and good situations rare.-Boston Adoer-
tiser.
They are working political conundrums
at London Minstrel shows. This goes
well with the audience. Ohm of the cor
ner men asks: "How could you convert
Mr.. Gladstone into Conservative" 'The
reply is: "Spin him round and round un-
til he becomes Dizzy!"
When BENJAMIN Franklin arrived in
Philadelphia he calmly walked up the
street with a loaf of bread under his arm.
But he couldn't do it nowadays Some
body would steal his bread before he got
half block away from the river.-Phil0-
delp7tia Chronicle.
A poem commences, "Under the willows
he's lying" He must be tramp. They
lie under all sorts of tire One was dis
covered lying under an axle-tree the 9TH
er morning. The owner of he wagon
made him wheelright round and leave
Norristoaon Herald.
From Scotland Yard Sergeant: Howfs
this, Jones2 What do you mean by COM
ing on duty unshaved?" Jones ''I'm a.
CROWN of my beard, sir" Sergeant:
Then you must get up earlier and do it,
OF
while on y."-Funny Fozks.
The Chicago Times assert that the pick
pockets who visited the city during the
firemen's tournament have all drowned
themselves in disgust at the discovery
that for three days they have been ope-
rating in a community where every man had
taken advantage of the bankrupt act.
That artist on the Graphic who has the
handling of pictures of war always has
three or four officers in front of the men
| waving their swords and foaming at the
mouth. Some one should tell him that
| infantry officers are always in the rear of
the line, and they never forget their po-
siti ons, either.
A Minnesota preacher is discoursing
| on, "who is the Devil. Where is the
Devil and How the Devil can be Over
come" and the Detroit Free Press calls
the attention of the Chicago Times to this
personal assault. The old, old, Storey.
Give man a bad dog and hang him.
| N. 7. Com. Ado.
Feathers will be universally worn this
winter.-Fnshio1aI tens.--If the American
people are going to take TO feathers uni
versally, they will be tar-nation sight
worse stuck up than .-Iaizadezphia
Bulzet;n.--Pitch in, old boy. We shall
stick to this country, feather or no.-Cin-
snnati Saturday Night.
A secptic, who was badgering simple
minded old man about miracle and
Balaam's ass, finally said: How is it
possible for an ass to talk like mani"
"Well,' replied an honest old believer,
with meaning emphasis: II don't see why
liant as easy for an ass to talk like q
man, as it is for man to talk like an
ASST
Having been presented with Bosnia,
Austria is now fighting for it. ITO you,
john" said dying man, ~ will give
$4,000" "Why, father" said the son
you know you haven'ta dollar in the
| world.' isOf course haven't, exclaimed