The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1878-09-14
vau,ea 10 be interviewed.


PREss-pUMP, AND THE RESULT IhhNhof'
Oakland (CaL) Times.l
ITO walked into the office with an air OF
crandeur and Importance scarcely common
S,,rote with his general untidv, uncIcan, ana
uneempt appearance. lie might have Decn
framp. but the probabilities were thar ne
was only boarder from the Hay-Bunk no.
tel. OF Commercial-street wharf, on SNORT
rural excursion for the benefit vi his oeclih-
ing health.
awe arrived" he gasped.
swell, what OF it?" .,,.
{. Notbin' pertick'lcr; only thought
Won mi"h, want TO see me. so droppeo
;r,,,nd 70 save YOU the trouble o. huntin'
me up" .,
WIN? Well, you're the wust ever
saw. Why, to interview me, Of course"
ITO interview YOU: What do l want
to interview you for? What 90 you
know! -
al reckon Pm bouts well posted CT the
general run o. folks you interview"
81 don't know where to begin
"You don't? S'pose Central Grant
should skip along out here, what'd you ask
him? Err how'd you tackle Beeeher, snos
SIM you was to give him the grand talk
En- King Calico, or the Chinese Ambass', er
the Tuilis gang, cr any roosters OF NOTES IN
CONSCIENCE! How'd you begin on them -,
cpd question them on those SuD!ects
with which they are most laml'la'' Vi
course"
"Wcll, let me see; maybe you could
Dump me on finance. Trv."
Mare YOU familiar With the financial ques-
ton ?"
Familiar enough, CT being on spcakln'
terms is familiar. Bur, to tell you the truth,
finance an me never did get along toeetner
very well, though we never disagreed wnen
could get fair holt. )"
."What do you think OF the present STATE
of finances throughout the country 7" :.
s.Now. look here, mister, please don't
presS me 50 hard. The finances is all right
ef the tinanciers would only let 'em alone:
What we need is circulatin' mellum, IN
how're we roin' to hey Il circuIatin' me1lum
ef il don't circulate &? What goods money
in the bank do! Fur instance, you've
cot two bits in your pocket. What good Is
it DOM there! No good. All right. Now
s'pose-rm only s'posin', you understand
YOU should convey the idle capital 10 me,
am transfer il to the tiVe-cent oeer-man'
and he pays it over to the brewery proprle'
tor, and the brewcry-man pays 1t to you 1or
subscription! You get your money pack;
less the wear and tear, and it hez circulated
and done good, an lifted single soul al
least from the pit of despair to the gallery
of bliss in the theatre OF life."
His tones were almost eloquent, ana MS
scottish eyes almost flashed as he caught That
Vast sentiment on the fly. 80,
"What do YOU think OF communism
Communism! Now you've got me
where live. You've tumbled TO my gent
Jacket an sent her in with twist. It's
iine.shot. q ten-strike, an the last roll down
nv alley. Ef you'd call it kearneyi<m ia
n lodged the issue; if you'd called II
Rutlerism I'd backed water. But you
nooled the issues, an called the turn COM
inupjsm, Communism is good. Division
is the pricc OF liberty. What's yours Is
mine, an what's mine is my own. Capt.
tal,s a fraud, and the greatest good TO the
greatest number is the hinge the times
swing on. The greatest number is us COM
munists. The greatest good that can be
bestowed on us Is capital. Give US capital,
am we'll run the universe. I'm COM
munist from the word go. Anything else
YOU want to know"
"No, not to-day. The valuable Informal
ton you have already voucGSafed Is sufl-
cientior the day thereof"
"Aint you goin' to say anythln
"Haven't said enoush!'
"Skeercely."
oWhat more do you w2nt:'
"Didn't I say something about crcu!a'
TIM meiiums:"
II believe you did"
"Did mention any pertick'ler amount:"
':You did-two bits. o.
"Well, eff you think my reSonin' was
sound I should be pleased to illustrate i'll
nract;cal manner. j would circulate
His cool proposition was SO subiimey I'M
nudent that the quarter was immediately
forthcoming, and the last view we obtained
ofrhe "interyiewe he was 4" circulating
around the corner to " circulate" tie ''me
iirm-" in iive-cent beer hail.