Connecticut western news., 1878-08-08
WIT AND WISDOM.


 Latest intelligence-The thought of what you might have done. ....
 What can pass before the wind with out making shadow? The wind.
 -" Has sound color?" Of course. Have you never seen wistle blewp
 Every man is free moral agent, and in addition there are book agents.
 To young ladies-How to make an impression at the seaside-Sit down in the wet sand. ........... ....,s.
 Abuse is the penalty levied on the bond of praise, and can be rendered ef- fective only when noticed. -" Work, but don't worry" is an old proverb. But shiftless people don't work, and so usually take it out in worrying. r.0a. H
 Jennie Quigley, the dwarf, says that she makes money by being small. She hasn't monopoly of the business, by any means. a
 A baseball player was never elected to Congress. This fact should be strong inducement for our youth to organize baseball clubs. "A young mother gives her child 8 stick of candy, and, to teach 1t polite ness. saws: "What do children say when they get candy?" More"
 One is a "child of wrath" and the other is & Roths-child. is the answer propounded by exchange, with an invi- tation to guess the question.
 -Wouldst thou that thy flesh obey thy spirit ? Then let thy spirit obey thy God. Thou must be governed, that thou mayst govern. A,tg~stin.
 The Whitehall Times says There is one thing man is sole proprietor of in his own house, and that is, the soli- tary peg in the best closet that holds his clothes. af
 l The Galveston News says, sadly 1: Every department of industry suffers the general depression. Even the El Paso stage has not been robbed in an entire week. ta
 They were having family set to and she asked him if there was anything in the past that he would like to recall, and he heartlessly answered, Yes; the day you first refused me"
 Sir Peter Lely made it Q rule never to look at bad picture, having found by experience that whenever he did so his pencil took hint from it. Apply this to bad books and company.
 Hath any wounded thee with in- iuries Meet them with patience. Nasty words rankle the wound soft language dresses 1t, forgiveness cures 1t and oblivion takes away the scar.-En- chsriIion.
 We may stand and knock at msn's hearts till our own ache, but no opening until Christ come. He can fit key to all the cross-wards of the will, and with sweet efficacy open 1t, and that without any violence toit.
 A clergyman of Bath created con sternation at funeral by praying earn estly in behalf of "tlle bereaved husband and the one to come who shall fill the place made vacant by the death of our deceased sister.
 A tramp in Kentucky named Shep- pard has married widow, Mrs. Will Hams, worth $10O,O00. Go on, boys There's more widows, says an exchange, and if this thing works lively the tramps will soon be the most bloated aristocrats in the country. ;a Ha
 When one has friend it is not wise to try experiments upon him. Business partners who are profoundly attached usually begin to quarrel when they come to visiting terms and to reciprocity of hearthside hospitality. There is even % sense in which friends, like relations, are better apart. s.#
 A cockney inquired at the post-office the other day for letter for Emery Hoeden." He was told there was none. "Look 'ere," he replied, a little angrily, "you've hexaminsd hodd letter for my name. It don't commence with haitch; it begins with ho. Look in the ole that's got the hos. - A life insurance agent in Cincinnati exhausted his eloquence upon victim who finally threatened to kick him down stairs. The agent promptly replied that if the victim really meant to attempt that sort of thing that was another req son why he should get his life insured, but the victim didn't take policy. A young man, sitting opposite to the clergyman, in the front of the gallery, had been up late on the previous night, and had stuffed the pack of cards with which he had been occupied into his coat pocket Forgetting the circumstance, he pulled out his handkerchief, and the cards flew about the church. The min- ,, ister looked at him and remarked :> "Eh, man, your psalm bulk has been ill bund." ........ ..s#f a , Printing was discovered four hun , dred and thirty-four years ago, but no-t body has yet discovered how to run a 3 newspaper that will suit everybody l Yo,,kers Gazette. 0 yes there has. l We have 'em calling in at our office every s day-stop us in the street. or tell us t how to do it in the horse cars. To be t sure some of them are not successes as t barbers, insurance agents or saloon men, 2 but if they had only started newspaper Q well, the world does not know what it has lost, and perhaps it's well 1t does not.
 Boston Consmerciol Bszetse. ,s =, s,