The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-03-14
Wit and HumOr.

A YOUNG lauy IN the BLACK Hills has
had 276 offers of marriage. Go West,
girls.
THE drop-curtain is so called because
the gentlemen 60 out for drop while it
is down.
RICHES will never take wings and fly
away, if you sprinkle little economy
on its tail.
81 DO not ask thee for thy hand" as
the child said, when gazing earthward
DER its parents knee.
AMONG the items in a plumbers bill
are: to searching gas leakage, so cents ;
to having found it, 81.
THE California game law is defective
in one respect. 1t does not state when
Cinnamon are out of season.
1T is asserted of Philadelphia that
he died "worn out by too severe mental
effort in the study how to live without
work."
A READER of Punch says that the best
pun he ever saw in that London comic
weekly is the first three letters of its
name.
THE Rev. Mr.. Tooth, he English rit-
ualist, has beautiful set of twins, who
are commonly known as his "little doub-
lie teeth"
AN aesthetic tramp refused a square
meal in Medford the other day, because
it was served on Kioto ware instead of
Satsuma.
EVERY Turkish commander in the field
has crescent over the door of his mar
quee. Can this be termed symbol of
disc-on-tent9
PREACHING after the unattainable"-
A man feeling up under the back of his
vest for the end Of parted suspender.
Huntington Haaokeye.
MAY be they did "have giants in those
days." but they couldn't have looked
any bigger than freedom American
citizen feels when he's in a procession.
truth lies at the bottom of the we'll"
We have often verified this by looking
down into well and seeing Truths
honest countenance, in the smooth water.
FIND man who has just seen his girl
waltzing with another fellow, and in
every case you will discover him to be
an ardent admirer of Mrs. General Sher-
man.
Now does suffering humanity eagerly
scan the report of patients granted for
the week ending, to see if somebody
hasn't invented nose that will stay
bowed.
A POLITICIAN, who escaped from a
burning hotel, clad only in an under
shirt and pair of socks, said it was the
nearest he had ever come to taking a
nude departure.
SAMUEL BowLEs used to say there was
sixth sense-the newspaper sense"
There is also seventh sense-non sense.
This paragraph is specimen of it.-Nor-
ristopa Herald.
AUGUST is the month for beer.--Phild.
Ledger. Is that sol Thought it was
Free-brewery ". y. Graphic. No
child. Our Dutch contributor says it is
Sup-dem. beer.
saba gentleman (D to a Professor
who was expounding the Sanscrit
"What makes your breath so offensivel''
"Guess it must be the dead language"
replied the Professor.
would you not, sir, start, as Mr..
Garrick does, if you saw a ghost" said
Jenny Boswell to Samuel Johnson. 81
hope not, replied Johnson; "if did,
should frigh,en the ghost"
AMONG the ''places of interest" men,
toned in hand book of New York, we
find no banking houses. And yet they
are the "principal" places of interest
- Job
-Notristoen Herald.
"A VACUUM would be the best place
for fellow to fall into, wouldn't it, Bill,
for then, you know, he wouldn't fall
against anythingi" ayes, he would,
though" stoutly answered Bill; "he
would fall against his inclination"
A FARMER went one day to a Western
justice of the peace and said he wanted
writ. Against whom2" asked the
justice. II don't care who it's agen,"
replied tho farmer; "the cattle have
broken in and trod down all my corn,
and want a writ"
as your master at homel" inquired a
gentleman of the servant of the house
at which he was calling. "No, SIR" re-
piled the man. "When will he be back z"
asked the visitor. Cant say, sir said
the man; "when he sends me down to
say he's out, can never be sure"
Poor young thing! She tainted away
at the washtub, and her pretty nose went
kerslop into the soapsuds. Some said it
was overwork; others, however, wbis.
pered that her beau had peeped over the
back fence and called out Hello, there,