Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1878-03-06
IiunlOr.


George Washington was brave man.
To begin with, he married Widow
Bubilo Express
The name of Pecci, the new Pope, is
pronounced Petchee. Chicago Journal
Petchee dollar tisn't.
1t seems to be n prevalent belief
that the only way to argue with Bob
lngersol is to let him alone Buffalo
Express.
An editor publishing long leader on
hogs, rival paper in the same village
upraids him for obtruding his family
matters on the public.
81 would not live Away" is an old
song; but nowadays, remarks an ex-
change, there are great many persons
who are trying all ways to live.
Woman has always been more than
match for man. Adam held the best
cards but didn't know how to play them
well.
The man who is honest from policy
needs as much watching as hive of
bees just getting ready to swarm.
Mamma" asked precious young
ster ut u tea-table the other evening,
after long and ycarning gaze toward
plate of doughnuts, "do you think l
could stand another Of those fried
holes p
Kansas Teacher" Where does all
our grain produce go tor Boy" 1t
goes into the hopper" Teacher
Hopper? What hopper!" Boy
(triumphantly)-" Grasshopperv
When Dan Voorhees, went into the
lobby after his silver speech, a not very
pretty lady kissed him. He has been
in the lobby ever since; but lightning
rarely strikes twice in the same place.
-Bu6dlo Express.
"Do you see any grapes, Bob ?"
Eyes, but there is dogs" Big dogs,
Bob?" Yes, very big" "Thcn come
along-those grapes are not ours, you
know"
Young Green. "Cold, isn't tT
Young Lady (tired of the subject $50
you said just now" Y. G. nervously.)
yes, but don't you think it has got
colder?"
A man who lives on the edge of n
rocky declivity in the Twenty-frst
Ward has named his goat Oleomar-
garine--because it's q kind of butter
strong enough to knock person over
- Graphic.
An old Methodist preacher going
around among the members of his
congregation, came across an old lady
in spectacles. ado you love the Lord"
he asked. We'll. parson, 1 amt got
nothin' agin' him p
Ladies now wear Isle thread stock
ings inside colored silk stockings.-H
How the newspapers get all the news
continues to puzzle many readers
Norristown Herald. We presume the
reporters hang around the skirts of the
town.
Professional Realistically: "Six-
pence is great deal too much to charge
for sweeping my doorstep. l generally
only give the little boys twopence"
Arab: Amatoors, mum; amatoors !"
A counsel had mimicked a witness,
who, rs North countryman, pro-
nounccd the word water" as if it had
been WAITER" inquired Of him wheth-
er in his part of the country they
spelled "weter" with two is? "No,"
said the witness, but they spell man.
ners with two n's.'
81 tells yer, breddern, when yer hars
chap torkin zif dere waz only one
highway to hebben, an he was der
kermesh'ner O dat yer highway, yer kin
go peck O CLAIMS OH it dat dar's hill
jis ahead as dat yer warmth don see,
an faint an upgrade needer. M.
Vernon Chronicle.
Among the papers of young man
who was recently married in this city
was found the following scrap, to witt
Things to be done this afternoon-before
the wedding: Get some keys to fit
valise. Engage carriage for train. Get
license to marry. Get shaved and hair
trimmed a little. Sew button on back
breeches and get q pair of suspcnders.
Buy bottle of perfumery. Be sure to
wash feet well