The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1878-08-10
VARIETY.

When man is indulging in a frolic, to say he
is out on a lark is libel on that bird. He
is really out on a swallow
Here is an infallible receipt Alcohol will
clean silver Yes, well stuck to, it will clean
all the silver you have got.
Some people are always ungrateiul however
much you do for them. 1t is like striking fly
off mules hind leg-you only get kick for
your pains.-[N. Y. Herald.
The chronic grumbler has come to the front
again, and suggests that the time of the year has
arrived for the preachers to take a vacation and
give their congregations rest.
Henri Rochefort has his plan for settling social
ism which, however, he fears the Congress of
Berlin will not adopt; it is law in one section,
as follows: - Hereafter all the poor shall have
an income of 10, 900 francs year
When Emerson recklessly wrote, Z" Every ma
turaI action is graceful had he ever seen an
angry woman throw G stone at COW?
Can love die?'' inquiries Mary E. Nealy, in
q recently-published poem. 1t cannot, though
it gets dreadfully adjourned occasionally.
Parisian elegante has as many bonnets as
she has dresses; also many boots shoes, gloves,
stockings and even parasols to correspond.
An unsuccessful lover was asked by what
means he lost his divinity. 80 Alas" cried he,
fattered her until she got too proud to speak
to me-"
When asked how the ladies were dressed at
fashionable party the other evening, modest
youth replied: 'sAbout as much as an oyster on the
half-shen-"
Some public men think it unkind in news
paper to criticise their public acts. They seem
20 expect that when it rains and they are caught
an the shower, it is the duty of the editor to run
out and hold an umbrella over them.-Ronle
Sentinel.
A Turkish Pasha is surveying the field with
his glass An aid-de-camp rides up :" All our
artillery has been captured The Pasha strokes
his beard philosophically, and says, I" Fortunate
ly il was not paid for"
A little Virginia boy asked another few
weeks ago if he knew how to tell good Chris
riau mo- replied the other, a. how can
telI?'' I'll tell you," said the first sc Good
Christians are fat for the Bible says, He that
putteth his trust in the Lord shall be made
tat.'" He was right. (See Proverbs 2S:25).
Among the Zulus, nation of Caffres, ac-
cording to etiquette, the mother-in-law cannot
face the son-in-law, but must hide, or pretend
10 hide, when she sees him. In this country
the custom is reversed. 1t is the son-in-law
who does the dOdging.-CiHoinnati Breakfast
Table.
The following letter was recently written by
\ boy in Augusta, Ga, seven years of age, to
his uncle IN Savannah
50 dea uncle george please get me a newfound-
land dog. want a puppy hope you are
-reII as i am 90 to school now and have
rrecess. am bad off for the dog. send him
as soon as you can, i send my love to you for
christ sake amen.
send boy dog. ROBERT S. Il.
Ann who has been much interested in the
cremation system said to his wife, SO My dear,
wish YOU to remember that when the Lord
calls me to my reward l desire to be cremated,
If suitable furnace is accessible Yes,
love- replied his spouse, Sc but when the Lord
calls you think he will provide for your
burning.
A strain of gentle music, the ripping oi
-.xafe- in silent place, the odor of flower
ar even the mention of familiar word, will
sometimes call up sudden, dim remembrances
of scenes that never were, in this life +; which
vanish like breath which some brief memory
of happier existence, long gone by, would seem
10 have awakened which no voluntary exertior
of the mind can ever recall.-Dickens.
A gentleman observed an urchin who had
large slice of bread in his hand, and who was
CRYING very bitterly. My son. he exclaimed
- what you crying about?'' 90 My mother
won't pat-put any butter on my bread-boo
boo-boOt" - Oh, is that all ?' said the gentle
man come, dry up your tears and be Il man.
ss It amt SO much the butter" retorted tn
little urchin; .it's Ehs disposition of the oil
.zoman.'