The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-04-13
Mr.. fuckers Item.


He came into the editorial-room of the
ArguS, and, siding up to the reporters
table, he took seat, nudged up close
and said:
"Just take it down now, and I'll give
you a good item. Ready?"
d" Yes, go ahead"
"Well, this morning Mrs. Tucker
my wife, you know, and her daughter,
Bessie, were driving out with bay
mare named Kitty, along the river road
to see her aunt"
"Whose aunt?"
"Mrs. fuckers aunt. To see hel
aunt. Bessie was driving the mare
and little after they passed Stapleton
Place she threw one of her Shoes"
"Bessie did?n
"No, Kitty, the mare. And Bessie
said to her mother that she thought she
was behaving queerly."
g Mrs. Tucker wasp
"The mare; and she felt so weary
that she had half notion to turn back. "
care you speaking of the mare or OF
Bessie?''
81 mean Bessie, of course. But she
kept on limping and going kinder on
even, until they were down yer by the
gas-works, when she laid back her ears
and"
"You don't mean Bessie's ears?"
Certainly not.''
Go on, .hen. Mrs. Tucker laid back
her ears
1.-The mares ears. And just as they
crCt m, thn b,,iJora oua,. tbn oraoly ~
mare gave a tilt to one side, and, as
Mrs. Tucker screamed, she let drive
with both her hind legs against the car
rage"
Are you referring to Mrs. Tucker or
to the
Kitty, the mare; and snapped both
shafts off short. The next moment, be-
fore Mrs. Tucker or Bessie could save
themselves, she went over the side,
turning a complete somerset
You are now speakingo of the mare?"
Eyes; the mare turned a complete
somerset into the water. One of the
traces remained unbroken, and of
course, as Kitty went over, she dragged
the carriage after her, and Mrs. Tucker
and Bessie went laundering in the
creek. The mare at once struck out
for shore, and Bessie, fortunately, had
presence of mind enough to grasp her
by the tail. She had had blind stag
gers, but it had passed OFF,
g Not Bessie?"
"No, the mare; and, as she was
being towed past Mrs. Tucker, Mrs.
Tucker caught hold of her dress"
"The mares dressP'
"Bessie's dress, of course; and it
seemed for minute that the mare
would bring them safely to land. But
Mrs. fuckers hold on the mares tail
loosened somehow, and
"You said Bessie had hold of the
mares tall
Lid? Well, so it was; and Mrs
Ia G. trhad hold of her dress"
whose dress?h
Didn't say Bessie's dress? Well,
then somehow Mrs. fuckers hold loos-
ened, and
"Her hold of what?'
Her hold of the mare s-no, | must
be mistaken. Bessie had hold of the
mares tail, while the mare was swim
ming, and the mare had hold of Mrs.
fuckers dr. That is, Mrs. Tucker
had hold Of Well, anyhow, she let
60"
. Mrs. Tucker let go?''
"Oh, | dunno; whoever had hold OF
the mare let 90, and she went to the
bottom like stone"
eff | follow your meaning, it was
the mare that went to the bottom"
MY goodness! man, can't you under.
stand? 1t wasn't the mare. The mare
swan ashore"
"What did you say she went to the
bottom for, then?"
81 didn't; it was Bessie
bessie never said word about it, y
"Youknow what mean; Bessie went
to the bottom
"And Mrs. Tucker swan ashore?'
"No, she didn't" Ydar
Very well, then, Mrs TUCKER went
to the bottom, too adt
"No, she didn't, either"
"Mrs. Tucker flew up in the air
then"
You think you're smart, don't you?
"Well, 90 on and tell your story
we'll discuss that afterward. Wha
did Bessie say when she got to the bot
tom?''
1--we got big notion to wallor
you"
What did she say that for?'
"You mud-headed IDIOT" said Mr.
Tucker, rising, "give me any more o.
your insolence and I'll fog you alive
| VaS going to give you a good item
about that mare, and about what Mrs
Tucker said about her turning somer
sets all the way home, but now I'll SCI
you hanged first"
The reporter got behind the desk
lifted up chair to ward off a missile
and then he said calmly:
"What was Mrs. fuckers object il
turning somersets all the way home?"
Those who saw Tucker emerge from
the argus Office said he looked as if h,
had seen ghost, he was so white. AnC
the ArguS has lost subscriber.-Ma.
.Adeler.
Spring Wraps.