Litchfield enquirer., 1878-04-25
CLIPPINGS.

Slay-ride-A cavalry charge.
 Blunt men sometimes say cutting things
 Garlic is the most telling esculent.
 Speaking of the Capitol at Washington, IS said that Conkling is little vane, out oeha'o' Davis is the rotunda.
 Deliver us from that quality of mercy which droppeth like the gentle deuce rom heaven.
 The Murphy movement has greatly changed tbe character or lemonade" in some parts ot the country.
 Count Orloff is bald.-AIbaRy ArgWs. You mean his hair is Orl-but no, anybody couio make that pun.-N. '. CO'nnaeTc'dL
 If any one wants to see how much heroism there is in private life let him wait and see how many women dare to go to church Easter Sunday without new bonnets. A Nevada politician was elected on the mer- it's of one single speech. All he said was: "Fellow countrymen, follow me to wonder sal oon :"
 Leonidas Sexton is one of the members of the republican congressional campaign cam mittee if that is the name of it. Sexton Will be a handy man for the funeral.-BOStOn Her ald.
 The Philadelphia Bulletin finds on one side of the new dollar, "a fat British girl with tremendous bang, and on the other hen n.y. ing off her nest-probably frightened by the bang"
 New York artists are discouraged. There was a time when they could pour molasses and Venetian red over canvas and sell 1t to the West for a landscape, but the West has learn ed how to do it, and makes her own paintings now.
 'What does transatlantic mean, mamma ?" ''Across the Atlantic, child. Hold your tongue and ask no more questions" Then does transparent mean a cross mamma! (Has to forfeit her slate and stand in the corn e,.)
 Do you see any grapes, Bob?"
 ''Yes, but there is dogs"
 Big dogs, Bob ?"
 "Yes, very big"
 "Then come along-those grapes are not ours, you know
 A devout woman took her baby to church. The voice of the preacher walked the child in to screams. "Do not go," said the minister, ''the baby does not disturb me" That may be, said the mother, still retreating, but you disturb the baby"
 The steamer on which Bayard Taylor sailed for Europe was forced to put back to quaran- tine on account of fogs, and Bayard loafed around the masthead till she got under way again, fearing somebody might hear they were there and get up dinner.
 A lady who once in girlhood sat on Dr. . Johnson's knee has died in England, aged % years If the mere fact of sitting on gentle mans knee is conducive, to female longevity, and our young girls wish to oprolongtheir lives, we know lots of young men who are willing to assist in the hygienic work by devoting their knees to that purpose two or three nights week
 E. w. Adds, formerly of this place, has been elected inspector of elections in Brew sters N. Y., where he edits the Putnam Coun- tv Standard. Enquirer Addis wants to look out He is getting on the broad road and if he isn't very careful, just as likely as not he will feach up in the New York Assembly. Steady, bov!-Neao INiEf0rd GGzette.
 Broad road Well, we guess you havnt seen him within year or so or you would comprehend how utterly impossible it would be for him to make headway on any but broad road. .-DGnbuTy.Neacs.
 Here is what was sung recently at a religious meeting of colored men in the South:
 "'If you see Peter asleep at de gate,
 Kase de night befo he WAS up late,
 You needn't spect, with your load Ob sin.
 Dat you'll slip past him aud seal right in;
 De angels always acts on de squar';
 Ley know you here and dey I'll know you dar"
 Old Lord Elphinslone was asleep at church while the minister, very ableheaded preach CT, was holding forth. At length the parson stopped and cried: ''Waukin my LOrk Aph- lnstone ?" ''I'm no sleeping, minister" But ye are sleein'-I wager ye dinna ken what said last" ''Ye said 'Waukin, my Lord AphinstOne. ''Ay, ay, but wager ye din ma ken what I said afore that" 'I wager ye dinna ken yersel."
 Parson L-extended the box to Bill and he slowly shook his head. Come, William, give something" said the parson. Cant do it." said Bill. ''Why not ! Is not the cause a good one p asked he. ''Yes, good enough; but I am not able to give anything" answered Bill Pooh, pooh know better you must give me a better reason than that" Well, l owe too much money; l must be just before I am generous, you know" But, William. you owe Heaven a larger debt than you owe any one else." That's true parson, but Heaven ain't pushing me like the rest of my creditors" The argument was conclusive.