Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1878-03-02

YES" said the old reprobate: {" I
always recognize water when | see it it
looks just like ginl'
SAINTE-BEUyE says: In every man
there is poet who dies young" The
editors waste basket indicates that the
man doesn't know the poet who is dead
and keeps on with his nonsense Break.
fact Table.
The rising youth feels the need of an
invention that will instantaneously alb
sOrb lighted cigar, and save him the
trouble and danger of putting it in his
coat pocket when he Unexpectedly meets
either of his parents.
IT is a common thing for dissipated
persons to say that they would have
been better il their parents had not been
80 strict with them. Nothing in this
world comes so easy to man as finding
excuses for his cussedness.
A DAY or two since lad some eight
years Of age said to his mother; Mother,
which are we, Catholics or Episcopals?
" We amt any of them," said younger
brother, chipping in, "we're Perciic
Coast Pierneers. Virginia Enterprise.
AT dinner the host introduces to the
favorable notice of the company splen.
did truffled pheasant, amid murmurs of
admiration. Isn't it beauty?' ne
says. "Dr. So.and-so gave it to me-
killed it himself.n cav, what was he
treating it for ?" says one of the guests.
RATHER RoUGHsHoD.-Little Snob
(loudly)--"Whose 'orses are these, nv
manT' Swell groom (who does not ap.
prove OF liberties )-"YOur5, sir" LIS
"Mine wot dyer mean?' Groom
"Why, sir, if I'm your man, these must
be your 'osses" Collapse of little snob.
THERE are lots Of curious folks in this
world, They encourage young lady to
devote three or four years to music, q be.
cause she may have to teach it some
day." but neglect to encourage her to
learn anything of housework, never
dreaming that she may be wife some
day.
TALK about female curiOsity-it's all
one.sided, Let one man stop on the
street to spell out sign on the top OF a
high building, and every other mothers
son that goes by will stand still and stare
for ten minutes trying to make out what
the first idiot is looking at Breakfast
Table.
A CORRESPONDENT asks what Is the
best method of feeding cattle in winter?
We don t exactly know. One man might
prefer to take the OK in his lap and feed
him with spoon. Others would bring
him into the dining room and let him sit
at the table with the old folks Tastes
differ in matters Of this kind,
THE New York Herald thus replies to
a correspondent: Z" You would not
really be justified in striking the gentle
man who rose from the restaurant table
aud told you that you ought to hire q
trough. There are people who can not
tolerate smacking or sucking noises of the
mouth at table, and you were evidently
having a little circus by yourself. He
puts his information rather rudely, al.
though, even if you whipped him, you
might not be any less intolerable to that
class of people who do not like troughs." ."
"WHAT makes that noise?" asked
little boy on the train the other day.
"The cars" answered the mother.
What for? Because they are NOV.
ing" What are they moving forT
"The engine makes them. What
engineer The engine in front"
"Whats 1t in front tor?' TO pull the
train" What train ?' "Thi8 one"
"This carr repeated the younster,
pointing to the one on which they sat.
'' Yes" What does it pull it for?"
"The engineer makes it," :" What
engireer?' "The man on the engine"
What engine p The one in 'front.'"
What is that in front for?' Il told
you that before" "Told who what?"
Told you.' "What ior.' "Oh, be
still; You are nuisance" Whats
nui.ance?' a boy who asks too many
questions "Whose boy" My
Boy" "What questions" the con-
ductor came through Just then and took
up the tickets and the train pulled up
to the station before we could get all the
conversation. The last We heard, as the
lady ierked the youngster off the plat
form, was: What conductor p keo-
kuk Constitution,