Connecticut western news., 1878-05-02
WIT AND WISDOM.

ANu W IJDV1us faA aes ---.. sIr ' s-.a4-l aoo
 -" I'm taking cold, you give me such a breeze" is the latest slang phrase. ''lo. A little boys first pair of trousers alwaysfit if the pockets are deep enough'
 Temper is so good a thing that we should never lose it and always command it. ....... ....,7 To the clergy in ,America--Satan does not intend to take any vacation this summer. ....,..,,g
 A humorous apothecary exposes a case of soap in his window with this in- scription, Cheaper than dirt Nn a'4t
 There are 239 lawyers in Congress and only twelve farmers, This is what ails the country, adds an exchange. sl,v -LAbed at Noohntyme, may his tribe decfease, | Slept in his store, but had no dreams of poace; In dire array due bills and visions rise, esI'J While comes no trade. He docs not adyertiseN
 Every politician will soon have an Edison phonograph. There IS nothing politician so loves as to hear himself talk. ..,- -...s
 Worcester Press 'Senat' r lSurns side drives T cart In srder to prop erly carry out the idea he should weara P jacket and an I glass. '" D''-' ..
 A Sunday school boy of Maysyille, Ky, was asked by the Superintendent his father was a Christian. "Yes, sir" he replied, "but he is not working atit much" .'..' i'' i'' .''''
 A Southwest Missouri paper says that Tilden's political career is at an end now that his wife has confessed, and he may not expect to be nominated for President again. --J1. n..T "Ft
 -" Go out, young man, she is not here," said Pennsylvania preacher last Sunday in the midst of his sermon to Q youth whom he saw standing ,hesltating- ly in the doorway. .........,. aa.segal
 The fight over the division of Brig ham Young's estate has begun, says the RaUkeye. We'll take little hand in,t if you please. We once were Young. About fifty-two years ago. 7, ...lg,, ,-. ,ld
 A Texas bride, after the conclusion of the marriage ceremony, gracefuiAgt stepped forward and requested the eler1 gyman to give out the hymn: '9ih, "s". This is the way long have sought, D'.',, ..,., And mourned because found it not 'a',,
 II was not aware that you knew him." said Tom Smith to an Irish friend, } the other day. 'Know him P said he, in a tone which comprehended the knowledge of more than one hfeA'of knew him when his father was boy."
 A boy at crossing having begged something of a gentleman, the latter told him he would give him something as he came back. The boy replied Y" Your honor would be surprised, if you knew the money I have lost by giving credit that way" ga..e :, ss; "A. .fy.
 An old lady says, "When. Il was gal. the women with the prettiest faces were the only ones men looked at most on the street but now it's the female who holds her skirt up the highest when she goes across muddy place who re- ceives the most attention. ........ E.
 A little girl in Lacrosse, Wis, see- ing two drunken men stagger by the house, ran to her mother and told her that she had just seen two awful sick men," On being asked what she sup posed was the matter with them, she replied, after moments reflection, " I des they'd been takin' some bad medi- cine." =. .'9,st: .-
 A little four year old. being told by a young man in the village to get off his knee, that he was too heavy to hold in that way, made quite sensation among the parties present by lisping back, tsfToo heavy, hey? Sister Kate weighs one hundred pounds more than I, and you. held her on your knee over two hours last Sunday night" --'''
 You need not be afraid of giving too much, the old colored pastor said, of any ob you know of any church wat died ob hberality, ies tell whar it is, an' I will make pilgrimage to it, an by de soft light ob de pale moon I will crawl upon its moss-covered roof an write upon de topmost shingle, Blessed am de dead who die in de Lord.'" 'o' ~. ~ | A lawyer once asked the late Judge Pickens, of Alabama, to charge the jury. that "it is better that ninety and nine. guilty men should escape than that one innocent man should be punished. v "Yes," said the witty Judge, "I will give that charge, but in the opinion of the Court the ninety and nine guilty men have already escaped Tn thls county" .aI It.a. aai ,s t..ft Il A Bishop in the House of Lords rose to speak, and announced that he should divide what he had to say into twelve parts, when the Duke of Wharton in corrupted him, and begged he, might be indulged for few minutes, as he had story to tell which he could only intro duce at that moment A drunken fellow was passing by St. Paul's at night, and heard the clock slowly chiming twelve. He counted the strokes, and when it had , finished looked toward the clock and said "Blast you why couldn't you give us all that at once ?" There was an | -r Al .eI,