davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12
Us. military Aeaden,, At, We.r Point
COMPETITIVE EXAMINATION.

COMPETITIVE EXAMINATIQS-
Having been invited by tho Secretary Of
War to nominate "a legally qualified candi-
date for appointment as Cadet to the L. S.
Military Academy from The "a Congressional
District of Vermont, notice is hereby given
that a competitive examination OF applicants
for nomination fop- such appointment viii be
held at the junction House, at White River
junction. IN Hartford, in the county of Wind
sor, IA said District on the 25th day of July.
A. D., iS7s, at one O'Clock r. H. The gener-
al qualifications are as follows
"The age for the admission Of Cadets TO
the Academy is between seventeen and TWEEN
ty-two years. Candidates must be at least
hve feet in height and free from any infec-
tious or immoral disorder, and, generally,
from any deformity, disease. or intirmity
which may render them unit Tor military SER
vice They must he well yersed in reading.
IN writing, including orthomaphy. and in
arithmetic, and have a knowledge OF the. ele-
ments Of English grammar of descriptive
geography. particularly OF our own country
ana of the History OF the United States
The following gentlemen have been invited
10 serve as examiners, viz; Dr. S. j. Allen,
Of White River junction A. n Swain. Esq.
Of Bellows Falls Hon j. W. Rowell. of
West Randolph and Rev H. T. Fuller. of
81. JohnsbuS. j. G. DENIsoN.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

Capt Chus J.. Chase. Of the canoe
Bubble" whose letters. containing an nc-
count of his cruise. have been published in
the Boston journal for some time past ur-
rived here Saturday on his way down the riy-
er and spent the sabbath in town. Monday.
about noon. he continued his voyage. Pad
ding his own canoe.' Some Of his friends
from here went down the river and meeting
him in the lower part of Westminster had a
quiet bat enjoyable picnic with him-part Of
the rairlsnmeut= OF winch consisted Of very
good specimens of canoe cooking. Capt
Chase. rs the readers of the journal know.
started from New York on the 7th Of May,
going up the Hudson through various rivers
aad lakes TO Quebec. and has come alone in
his canoe thus far. except a portage of lO6
miles from the Chaudiere river in Canada to
the htadwaters Of the Connecticut. He ca
poets TO reach New York by the way of Long
Island Sound in about ten days having pad
died 1900 miles.
dennis Dunshuw was brought before JUS
tice Bridgmau ON Monday for the larceny Of
a coat from Judge Arnold of South London
derry. who was stopping at Towns hotel
Failing TO procure bail he was sent to jail at
Newfanc.
edward g. Murphy. the veteran pop corn
vcudar Of the Valley road. is building new
house near his old one on Rockingham street.
H. has made quite a little fortune by his pop
corn business. which lac las followed over
twenty year..
-Georse Porter, who lost limb on Fri
l.-.
home here on Monday The family being in
destitute circumstance much sympathy lis
felt Tor them. Heseens to be doing as well
As can be expected.
The Vernon; Valley railroad bridge at
this place was discovered to be on tire Friday
evening of Lust week. but WAS e1tInguished
without much damage TO the bridge by our
efficient hose company who were quickly on
the spot upon the sound OF the alarm.
The new post Office Is much appreciated
by the citizens who have suffered the incun-
venirnce Of the old one for SO many years
The new one is trst class III ali respects.
The Fourth passed of very quietly at
Bellows Falls, there being nothing 10 cele-
brate the day except pincic Of the Catholic
church over the river and a small display Of
fireworks at several private residences in the
evening.
Stephen c. Ranney, town treasurer OF
Athens. who was arrested July LIST on suspi-
ciou OF having been concerned IL the robbery
OF the treasury Of the town. Dec. .;lst was
brought before Justice Bridguan this week
Wednesday for preliminary hearing The
hearing Wa Huid ia Engine hall. which WAS
well hllrd with spectltoIs. l. NJ Read ESQ.
appeared FOR lie STATE and C. l.. and c. T.
/ Eddy for the defendant \ large amount Of
testimony was introduced upon both sides.
and both sides had rested at the adjournment
IN the evening. The arguments are to be
made this THURSDAY morning at nine o clock
It is the general impression TINS morning that
the State has not made out case and that
Mr. hanney viii be discharged. His reputa-
ton has always been the best Tor honesty. and
about twenty-five Of his nearest neighbors
and most reliable men in the vicinity came
mere willingly TO testify TO it,
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

Notwithstanding the big spread made over
thu affair in the columns Of certain sympa-
thizing newspapers, truth compels Us 10 say
that the great independent reform mass
convention" held in this town on the Fourth
WAS of very little significance having been.
as most people saw at the outset, merely
a dodge on the part of certain Democratic
leaders TO make political capital and air
their smouldering eloquence. IN no sense,
however, was the meeting SUGGEST and
the Springfield Republican, in dignifying
the affair by an admiring editorial, only man
ifests its accustomed asininity in regard To
Vermont politics The remarks of spec
tator, IN another column, in regard to the
meeting, render any further words of ours
entirely unnecessary. The ticket put in
nomination, aside from the names already on
the Republican ticket, was as follows: Fol
senators, Edward Crosby Of Brattleboro. Dr.
d. +. Campbell of saXtuns River for assis.
taut judges. II. b. Ballou of Nottingham, J
II. Phelps Of Townshend for sheriff L. l..
Roberts Of Whitingham for high bailif, Da
Yid Stearns of Putney.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

The Fourth of july was a quiet day with
TINS community. Tho suspicious day" wa,
not ushersd in with the ringing of bells nor
tine roar Of cannon. The powerful King OF
Day dlu not come up IN the east reioi cling
with his accustomed splendor of the hot DAYS
that preceded the Fourth. but his briiiiancy
WAS dlInned Icy clouds that foreboded rain
The shower came in season to prevent many
from attending the picnic in the grove south
OF }. Il. Nurses. About noon quite COM
pany had assembled there. including persons
from Brattleboro. J. N. Tyler. ESD. and
Il. +. Biusl1m w5rs present aud were OK
pe-tsd to speak on tla occasion but the rain
mteriered. and the two speakers and several
other persons made haste to depart thinking
u drcnchlug shower awaited them if they re-
manned in the grow. The rain was SION
over, and the party that remained made the
best of their circumstance First IN order
they disposed of their REFRESHMENTS as "a nut
ter Of precaution against another improvident
shower The rain having driven us away at
commencement We can repeat only what 9th
ers have said about The exercises The um-
sic. the singing. tie childrens speaking of
pieces. and the part Mr. Wheclock and com
pauy had TO nmuse the young people. were
all quite good.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

ia, Baptist Sunday school held % very
pleasant aud enjoyable picnic on the Fourth
100 the grove opposite the parsonage. Rccita-
tiou.. ,tc.. were given by members of the
school aud the committee are indebted to
Miss Charter Of Marlboro for line selections
of vocal and instrumental music.
-Inc Temperance union workers are soon
20 begua series Of meetings NJ various places
ON Monday the burial of the body Of
Fred Morgan of BondyiAe took place in the
cemetery here.
AIMS have gone to Minnesota to visit friends
Mis-, Sarah j. Holden mas gone to Illinois ON
visit. and with view to accepting a situa-
ton there as a teacher. if she find, it desira-
bic to- do 800.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

SENsIpIE NIEws.-The Albany Evening
journal, in an article on the proposed Bepub-
hcan canvass in the Southern States, express
es the following sensible views;
This proposed canvass in the South should
be conducted with great Judgment and pru-
dence II should be placed in the hands of
the strongest and most saGaciOus men, That
field Is no arena for ranters or hOt-spurs On
the contrary, it calls for leaders of sagucity,
ability aud chnracter-tor men like General
Garfield or General Woodford or Eugene
Hale, who know how 10 talk to the Southern
people of all classes without trucking. but at
the same time with moderation. reason and
fairness What should be the general spirit
OF their utterauce is plain The Republican
party makes no war upon the South or her in
terests; We have no hostility or ill-will 10 ia,
Southern people we only maintain that the
settlements of the Constitution shall be- fairly
accepted, and we frankly say that the best
guarantee of this will be 10 keep.their admin
istration in the hands that made them We
insist that the equal rights of all citizens shall
be respected, and If We accord 10 you OF the
South all your rights ana privileges, we SIM
ply demand that you shall accord the same to
the humble black Republicans by your side
if You are honestly and sincerely for coEcilia-
ton and goodwill this shall be the test "
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

The INVESTIGATION FAHcE Nothing more
clearly illustrates the purpose of the majority
of the Potter committee to prevent a full aud
impartial investigation of the Louisiana cleo
ton than the action of the two Democratic
members of the subcommittee who ARE now
investigating in New Orleans. These two
partisans, Blackburn and Stenger, have occu-
pied all Of the time IN calling their own wit
nesses 10 make their side of the question. On
Monday one witness testified that the Eepub-
hcuns had concluded not 10 vote in the par
ish Of East Feliciaua in order that the vote
might be thrown out 10y the cauvnsscr- The
witness was then turned over to Mr. Reed
the Republican member Of the committee and
that gentleman was proceeding 60 show hy
the 1ilden witness why the Republicans con-
cluiad not 10 vote-that they werl prevented
because of threats and outages. not only
threatened but begun. Mr.. Reed got IN one
question and elected one answer--to the ef-
feet that Democratic crowd at a Republican
meeting compelled the speaker to take back
all he had said This was too much. 1t look
ed like an impartial inquiry. 1t was an i'll
vestigation to ind out, and that is not the
sort of an investigation that the Democratic
leaders can stand, aud being in a majority.
they will not consent o. have the murders.
the whippngs the warniugs-to-leaye, and all
the democratic appliances Of intimidation,
revealed to the country. Consequently one
of the majority objected to the eliciting OF
such facts. and he and his Democratic associ-
ton of voters did not fall within the scope OF
the investigation 1t would seem 10 be i'm
possible Tor this committee to do more than
it has already done 10 bring itself into utter
contempt
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

DR. J. c. Aver, the well-known manufac-
Uurer of patent medicines. died at Winchen-
don. Mass. July Sd, aged 60. He began life
as Il drug clerk in Lowell, and in 1885 began
experiments with patent medicines. by lib
eral advertising. his medicines were brought
into notice, and obtained a large and very re-
munerative sale. DR.. Ayers estate is est
mated at 81, 900. 900. lie was a large owner
in manufacturing stocks III Lowell. and Of n.
Y Tribune stock. The town of Aver was
named after him. He was the Republican
candidate for Congress in 1874, but was de
feated 10y Democrat About two years ago
ms mind gave way, and he died OF paralysis
OF the brain
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

The National Anniversary was very gener-
ally celebrated last week, although for the
most part III an unusually quiet manner.
The most notable celebration was that at
Wyoming, Pa, in commcmomtiou of the ter
ribie Indian massacre IN that beautiful valley.
President Hayes was present and spoke brief
ly and pleasantly, as did also several member
of his cabinet who accompanied him. Al
Woodstock Conn, Henry c. Bowen Of the
Independent held his annual celebration,
with ex-Secretary McCulloch. Gen John c.
Fremont and Neal Dow for leading orators.
Boston had its regulation celebration, with
an address in Music Hall by Joseph Healey
and an ascension OF the flying machine from
the common. Newhuryport, Mass, celebut-
ed with greenback- demonstration, at which
Ben Butler made the principal address and
came out openly As II grcenbacker.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

William Mcpherson, a veteran of the war
Of lSl2, and one of the defenders of Fort Nc
Henry At Baltimore, died at COckeysville. Nd
the other day at the age of SO years. and was
buried in the American flag that fioated over
the fort during the memorable fight The
flag originally measured 60 feet long by 40
wide, and was substantially made OF ''old
time bunting From time TO time strips
have been torn of for the many persons who
wished for relic of the old flag so that when
It was placed in the grave its size had been
reduced 10 40 feet long and rs wide. In &C
cordance with the veterans request also, a
bomb shell thrown NJ the fort by the British
was placed at the foot of his grave.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

The executive committee having in charge
the National Narrow Gauge Railroad Conven-
ton, which meets in Cincinnati July Il, are
making preparations for n large attendance
Letters from all parts of the United States
and Canada are being received showing
marked interest in the question OF narrow
gauge lines. All persons interested III rail fa-
cilties and cheap transportation. investors,
manufacturers and dealers in railroad supplies
are cordially invited to attend. The courtesy
of the convention is also extended to the
standard and broad gauge interests.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

BRYANT-The trst Midsummer Holiday
Number OF Scribner's for August, 1870
contained Bryants poem, '''rhe Flood of
Years Many months ago the conductors of
the magazine began TO prepare an illustrated
article on the homes and haunts of the poet,
10 appear not as an obituary, but during his
life namely in the Midsummer number for
1875. After the letter press (by Rev. Horatio
n. Powers had been put into type for that
number Mr.. Bryants unexpected death oc-
CURED. A erayon portrait had been obtained
from life during the preceding winter, to
serve as a frontispieee of the August number,
and TO accompany Mr. Powerss article This
portrait, for which Alr. Bryant gave the ar
list, Mr.. Wyatt Eaton, repeated sittIngs has
been engraved by Mr.. 4. Cole, and viii, ii is
thought, be pronounced also one Of the most
characteristic aud IN every way satisfactory.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

Sarah H. Barry. Eliza Donnoly Mrs Mary
T. Howard Mrs j. G. Pratt
Gent. Frank Bouten J.. NJ Fisk, j. NJ
Hewitt. Bcmnu Perham Willard Packer T.
A. Budiy Horace l.. Sanders. Joseph viii
mot
Miscellaneous. Withorbcc Hugg a Rich.
ardsou.
Held for Postase.-Louisc Il. Reed West
morclaud n. H.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

Gov Gear of Iowa recently pardoned from
the state prison Il man who had been sentenc-
ed for ten years, on the condition that during
the rest of his term he should refrain from the
use Of intoxicating liquor, and labor for the
support of his mother and sister-any viola
ton of the conditions to be punished by his
return to prison. The pardoned man very
soon took to his cup again, when the govern
or ordered his return to prison, and the SUI
preme court, before whom the question was
brought has sustained the governors course.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12
THE VERMONT PHOENIX, BRATT

the meshes of the sklfully woven net, hei
fate is sealed for then, saith the rhyme g.
"up jumped the cunning spider
Aud Hereby held her fast
He dragged her up his winding STAIR,
Into his Dismal den.
Wi.hin his little pa lor-uui
Sif n.'.r rrft. ,tf amin
Nor1is
To idle. silly. faitcrinF word,
pray sou meter give heed;
Unto an evil counsellor
Close heart and ear and eye,
And take lesson from this tale
OF the spider and the Fly
Even blind man can see the parallel
SpTCTATuE
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

The Maine republicans will hold their state
convention at Portland July 30 and all re-
publicans and all independent voters who are
in favor Of preserving the credit Of the ma
tional government and sound currency for
the people-equivalen to coin and redeema-
bic in coin are requested to send delegates.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

Arrivals at Phelps Hotel July sth: Mrs
johnson. two sons, and servant. Cambridge
port, Mass Mrs Duncan. daughter and two
sons Boston. Mass. July 18th. Mrs. Bassett
"ud Two daughters, bridgeport Conn.
- sociahle at town hall Tuesday evening
with wake aud ice cream
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

Secretary Sherman has written another
letter to Potter, in which he repeats his re
quest for permission to introduce testimony
relative to the outrages in the Feliciana par
ishes. In view of the fact that Weber has
been given full scope TO deny the existence of
terrorism at the Presidential election, Mr.
Sherman very justly claims the right to intro
duce evidence 10 prove that shamefufoutrages
We're perpetrated on Republicans to prevent a
fair and full ballot
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

THE CHINESE FAMINE. Fearful accounts of
the famine IN northern China accumulate from
all sources. Chinese authorities estimate that
1000 600 people have died of starvation. and
the most revolving crimes have become habit
nal in order that the stronger may hive upon
the weaker The Roman Catholic Bishop of
Shausi province confirms these figures as not
exaggerated. The long drOuth which oceas-
Toned the shortness of food has been succeed
ed by rainy season of unprecedented length
and it is feared that future crops may be en-
dAngered by these extremes.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

Tho following reply has been received
from q, Is. smith, A. NJ, who was principal
Of Leland and Gray Seminary from lsl2 20
1905 IN response 10 an invitation 10 attend
the Reunion August 20 and u g.
TREASURY DEPARTMENT.
IND AUDIroRs OFFIcE
MAsHEGToN. ID. c., July "a. 1875.
IfoH. 4. StOdddrd, I0fHShsHd. w.
My Dcdr Sri most GLADLY accept your
generous invitation, and will eheerfully fore
go any inconvenience 20 minge with my for
lner pupils, and revive the precious memories
of the past and aid, If possible, in the cher
lshed purpose to place the dear old Seminary
on iirm basis. Remember mt 10 the Com
mitteo, TO the Hon. Trustees and 10 all inouir-
ing friends, and assure them that / ran never
forget Townshend or her kind people.
Yours truly,
G. b. SMITH
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

The Delaware republicans hardly think it
worth while to go through the motions of "a
political contest there this year. and the dem
ocrats will have it all their own WAY.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

Both the hotels have new landlords. AZ
bert W. Smith of Guilford having taken the
Glcn House and s. W. Jones of Braultboro
the Vermont House.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

senator Booth of California wants President
Hayes to visit the Pacific coast in the early
Autumn and take look at the people and re-
sources OF the Golden State.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

The survivors ct the old Sixteenth regi-
mont of Vermont volunteers celebrated the
fifteenth anniversary of the battle of Gettys-
burg hy % reunion ut Chester July Sd. The
anniversary occnsiou. the location Chester
being tlc home OF Major Rounds. Adiutant
Peabody and Quuriouuastor Horny, bcauti-
full village centrally located and admirably
adapted for the purpose the special effort
put forth TO call out large attendance, and.
to crown all the delightfully."- favorable wealth
or. united 10 render this very large and sue
ccssful reunion. The crowd in attendance
numbered .u the vicinity of 5000 including
some $50 memhei, OF the old sixteenth
About ID O'Clock lime was formed n front
OF thr Academy. aus follows:
Grafton band
Iost sherman. %. A. u.
Yosemite Engine Compaut.
Invited Quests.
springfield Band.
Sixteenth Regiment, by Compaulvs.
Londonderry Band.
Fuller battery.
Col Neazey was in command, wearing the
old coat which he wore at Gettysburg The
Battery, which arrived from Bruttleboro the
evening before, was commanded hy Lieut..
G. H. Briggs The march Of some q miles.
which followed, with a -caidlug sun and tine
mercury above go degree was accepted m
good humor by the soldiers as q furcIbl--
though not specially desired-remiuier Of the
seven days march to Getty-bure. During
the march halt was made aud the battery
fired d salute The hDf.,.s D.u tim rliit. ,.Yr,
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12
"Win You walk INTO my pIrlor r
Said a spider 10 a fiy."

Mr.. Davenport may well be hkened TO a
great Democratic Spider, who biennially
spreads his nets for foolish Republican flies,
and cooingly invites them into his political
parior with honeyed words and hattering
pFomises but when once the futtering wings
of the poor deluded fly become sntangIed in
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

Tia lev. W. H. Collins viii oniciute ia
Cur-. Church GA SUNDAY neAt. at O'Clock
a. A.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12
m.nunl.rsn count, Nemlna.lan..

ItepubliCan County Nomination.
ron SENATORS
j.. =. WEBSTER of Putney,
4. j. FRANKLIN of Newfane.
ron ASSISTANT TUDGEs.
H. d. BALLOU Of Nottingham,
A. A. WYMAN of Athens.
FOR STATES ATTORNEY,
T. W. STODDARD Of Brattleboru.
FOR EHE1Fr,
j. W. AELENDY of Londonderry.
ron HIGH HAII1FT.
i. c. BUTTERFIELD of Rockingham
ron JUDGEs or PRonATL,
ABISIIAI STODDARD Of Townshend Dis
trict of Westminster
ROYAL TYLER of Brattleboro, District o
Marlboro.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12

R.pubItcan state Nominations.
FOR GOVERNOR,
REDFTELD PROCTOR.
OF RUTLAND.
FOR LIEUT.-GOvEBNOH
D.. =. COTTON.
or iRAsBunGH.
FOR TREASURED
JOHN A. PAGE.
or MoSTpEL1Iu.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-07-12
Lbr Orrmont q5GnIr

BGATTLEBORO
FRIDAY. July -, 1875.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1878-07-31
D1h MODE u Ti-ODnhRI
ia MI f"' et os"fsr' URCAN
Pianos, price

$1,000 only $i25. Superb Grand Square
Pianos, price $ll00 only $3.50. Elegant
Upright Pianos, price $500 only $l55.-
New Style Upright Pianos $lla.50. Or
gans $50. Organs IL stops $72,5O.-
Church Organs Is stops price $3.50 only
$ll5. Elegant 1915 Mirror Top Organs
only $l05. Buyers come and see me at
home if am not as.represcn ed, r. r.
Fare paid both ways aud Piano or Or
gan given free I.arne Hist. Newspa-
per with much information about cost
IOf Pianos and Organs sent free. Please
address DANIEL f. BEATTY, Wash
inGtpn n. j. nsf ,- a
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1878-07-31
The only combination of
new Rich BLOOD.

PARSONS PURGATIVE PILLS MAKE
New Rich Blood, and will completely
change the blood in the entire system in
three months, Any person who will take
pill each night from to IL weeks may
be restored to sound health, if such a
thing be possible. Sent by mail for let
ter stamps 1. S. JOHNSON & Co., Ban
gor, Maine. st sf.a
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1878-07-31

THESE are the days when the
woman Of the house lights down
like an apparition in the midst of
the domestic garden, swinging a
broom, Tapping her skirts, kicking
sideways with both feet at once,
swapping her eyes, humping her
back and screeching, "Shew there!
Shewp' It's hens.