The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-02-28
Steady Diet from Breakfast Table.

In Russia husband may appear as
witness in lawsuit against his wlfe-lf
he has the grit to do SO.
AN old adage says the hardest oper-
alton of war is to stop it." The same
is also true of dog fight.
THE woman who carries pins In her
mouth is supposed to be half-sister
to the man who didn't know it was
loaded"
"SHE likes to talk with men better
than with women" says a Washington
correspondent of Gail Hamilton. Moth
ing strange about that; they all do.
THE mother-in-law gets fair play in
Japan. The court over there grants
divorce quicker'n scat when the proof
is clear that her will has ceased to be
law in her daughters cabin.
A PADUcAH, KY, paper states that a
citizen of that place has not closed his
eyes in sleep for six months. What's
the matter with him blind in one eye
or property heavily mortgagedY
WE don't see as there is anything to
prevent Kaiser Wilhelm from having
huckleberry pie on the table every meal,
if he wants to. His income amounts to
81, 900, 900 a year, not counting extra
time.
THEY have a man down East who
makes his living by guessing. He never
misses on the weight of hog, but the
American lunch-fend throws him head
long into quagmire of the most
wretched uncertainty.
A sHREwD patent medicine man has
been chasing Alex. Stephens around for
three months, trying to draw bead on
him with packet camera. He wants
him for preface to his advertisement.
to illustrate "before taking"
A DISPATCH from Rome brings the
gloomy intelligence that the new Queen
of Italy has already conquered her
husband" Oh, Hum, Hum, why didn't
you--but then-pshaw! When lovely
woman makes up her mind she'll rule
the roost, the scepter itself can't save a
man.
We don't say the time will not come
when the lion will lose his appetite for
mutton, but we have strongly defined
suspicion the slaughtered poet will never
walk the earth with a forgiving spirit
so pervading as to embrace the intelli-
gent compositor who has butchered his
verses.
"WEare governed entirely too much p
shouts a Kentucky exchange in italic
caps. Mr.. Meekly, of York-street, who
married widow with property in her
own name five years ago, will pay a
small reward for information that will
revolutionize things without resulting in
premature badness.
The Governor of Louisiana wants to
have the gambling houses licensed, but
insists with the prescience of man who
has felt the, tigers claws himself, that
such police regulations shall be enforced
as will require all cheating to be honest
and above board, and if a man holds
four one-spots he wants him to get the
full benefit of all they reach for.
SOME of the papers are discussing
woman's right to swear" Nonsense
She don't need any privileges of tha
kind-not while her facial muscles re
main in good working order. A wo
man SW6dr l! 1ne lued =! why, plts
your innocent quilts, she can look more
rasping things in five minutes than thu
mate of steamboat could say in thret
weeks.
THE impression has taken deep roo
that woman scorned" can do som'
tall things in the way of facial ex
preston, but her best efforts in that di
rection are slim persimmons compared
with the look Of whitening contemp
and supercilious arrogance with whicl
the boy who has learned to " chew
looks down upon the one whose teetl
are as white as milk.
LIFE is good deal like a grab-bag
after all. Sometimes merit is taken b
the hand and told to come in out of tn
cold, but not always. It's the exceI
ton, not the rule The great benefactor
of mankind have been but rarely az
preciated and requited, while tn
Fourth-of-July fellows have carried O.
the honors and bouquets. What sa
commentary it isupon our civilization
admit that the man who gave soft soa
to the world is still sleeping in an III
marked grave!