The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-06-04
SUNBEAMS.

| - t1- :.
Strictly religious people should he careful
to select only upright pianos, for ther
houses.
Henry Clay Dean was never so mad as
the other day when patent right agent
soldshim washing machine for cider
I press. Worcester Press.
'What constitutes marriage ?'' asks the
4 Boston Advertiser. Getting down to one
/ CIGAR q day in order to pour money into
4 the Golfers of the man wLo sells striped
4 stockings.
my DEAR" said a husband, in startling
tones, after waking his wife in the night,
II have swallowed dose of strychnine!"
"Well, then, do for goodness sake lie still,
or it may COME up"
An English musical journal says that
fifteen per cent. of the inmates of lunatic
asylums are musicians and singers but it
neglects to state how many of the remain
/ ing eighty-five per cent. were driven mad
by the practising of the former. '
A woman in Fairfield, Me-, has a growth
of natural hair eight feet aid Ollie inch long,
|
CAIN that she has the longest hair of any
not all III, yet.
If the marriage service could only be SO
modified and amended as to include the
lighting of the morning fires among the
other Obligations. assumed by the bride,
there wouldn't be SO many old bachelors
jabbing their fingers with darning needles
and shivering around i'll the cold.
The seventh article in the will of late
citizen of New Orleans reads: Whereas,
it seems that my son John seems inclined
to play poker, which is a dangerous game
to tinker with, unless you know what you.
are doing; therefore / leave my son John
$4,000, that he may go to Halifax, N. g.,
aud learn how to play the game.
Ute Indian died recently near Cim-
maron, New Mexico. His tribe buried him
in good Indian style, killing his horses 80
that he would have something to ride i'll the
! happy hunt grounds. They would have
killed his widow, but as she was Old and
ugly they came to the conclusion that If he
could not find younger and prettler one
in his new home, he had better 60 ii
alone.
Major Pitcairn, British officer at Con-
cord and Lexington was a joker-mayhap u
saucy one. Among the relics of the old
Christ church at Boston is All ancient sing
ing-book, Oh the tiy-leaf of which Is writ
ten:-"Major Pitcalrns compliments to the
head singer. with the request that she Will
not sing quite SO loudly, as it is impossible
for him to sleep"
r A Libby's Corner (Vt.) man stole q fat
rooster from his neighbor's barn the other
night and had it cooked for next days
dinner, but while the family were seated
around the table, eager to discuss the fowl,
: the owner rushed in, seized the platter witt
: the smoking bird upon it, aud carried il
= hCme to his own table, much to the sur
! prise of tie expectant family. of tht
: thief.
He'd been driving the dasher vigorousl,
for an hour, and yet the butter wouldn'
come" He softly laid down the article
and was creeping quietly out of doors
when watchful mother swooped down OF
him and harnessed him anew to his task
remarking very pointedly, that ''One goo>
q churn deserves another. - Rocktand Louy
o ier.
The French cabman may take as man,
y smallpox patients as he can get. The NOR
$ the better, indeed; for he generally charge
Il double fare for the risk. A few days ag
one of these conscientious gentlemen wa
invited to take smallpox patient TO tn
= hospital. He merely observed that "the.
a mnst make haste, rs he was engaged t.
+ carry wedding party to church in an hou
n or two, and had little time to spare"
J. A gentleman who is a sculptor, in feebl
s way, was calling on a lady the other even
j ing "How do you manage to get tn
: right facial expression" she asked, re
ferring TO his statuettes. every simple,
o he said; 81 read poem expressing til
s passion 1 desire to portray; then, is m
G face expresses rage or love, | plunge hea
Y foremost into mass of putty have a
q hand. This retains the impression, AM
\ there you are."
f An uptown retired builder, who exper
D ences great satisfaction in dwelling upo
s the fact that he is 'self-made man."
! given to poking sticks right and left witt
y oup ISSuIo w polbChcoo VI plOPLlSDy. LII
: other day, in crowded store, he con
g menced bantering ne 'er-do-w well of doubt
= full antecedents, who drifted into town, som
: years ago. winding up his remarks a
. . follows: Say, now, did you ever have
/ father or mother?" ''Sartin's you live,
/. came back the reply, like shot; Pm non
of your self-made men,"
6 There is no worse occupation for a
i earnest physician than to listen to the con
6 plants of people who pretend to be il
DR.. -, who WAS called by one of h
I, : patients for nothing, about once weel
;, ended by ipquiring: Then you eat well
! eyes" 'You drink well ~ Yes" "Yo
= sleep we'll" Certainly" Wonderful,
n said the doctor as he prepared to write
t prescription. 81 am going to give yo
a something that will put stop to a
Y that.
There are seven grounds Of divorce i
e. China, one of which'iS for talkativeness-