Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1878-02-20
W1rTIcIsRo.

14-vss~s- Ard tsiling within
OI Like funeral he31 6
e |
i w1rT1cIslGe.
. A BRooKLYN girl has been arrested
q for burglary-as If a young woman had
: no right to be out with her jimmy.
In the bright Lexington of Kentucky
/. there is no such word a. "No, / thank
you never drink. k."-iSdvanaaA TSses.
, FATHER" Why don't yer say yer
: grace, Charlie" Charfie-Why, Cos l
, don't like the looks o. them there taten."
. Fun.
An old bachelor explains the courage
of the Turks by saying that man with
more than one wife ought to be willing
to face death at anv time.
Now that Beecher has done away with
the big blaze, the future of many of us
doesn't look near as bright - it did
Franklin Patriot.
"How does the new COW answer p
asked one man of another who lad lately
purchased a COW. II really can't say,n
he replied, "for I've never asked her
any questions"
! A PosTMIsTREss in Maine happened ;"
to have letter in her hand when it flew
open. She want to blame, of course,
and yet she was fined 800 and costs. Be
ware of "fly opens"
THE Hdwkcyc insinuates that Joah
Billings can't walk q crack more than
once or twice q month at an average.
We are glad to perceive that the brilliant
Hd,ckeyc man is opposed to Billings gait.
Stamford Advooate.
A SWEET, blue-eyed Nevada bride,
clad in gossamar tulle, remarked, as the
clergyman joined her hand with that Of
her lover: "I'll be gol darned If don't
believe that plaster's striking through
the back Of my dress"
AN American naturalist has discovered
that moths cannot smell.-Er. Thst de-
pends entirely on their sex. If they be-
he-moths they smell they smell terribly,
especially after they are dead.--Pkisa-
dephia Bulletin.
A RECENT victim of the dog ordinance
at Watertown, CT, a little black cur, the
pet of all the neighborhood children,
was buried with funeral h0nors by his
admirers, an infant choir singing Safe
in the Arms of Jesus" at the grave.
A LAssIE wrote to young man that
she had taken fancy to "Come and
meet me in the cleaning, John" and
when the time came John wasn't there.
He subsequently explained that he
couldn't find such place.
The recent thaw has made the roadss0
bad that eggs in this city have gone up.
to 45 cents a dozen again, although We
never could see why country hen
should quit laying because the roads get
muddy. Darlington HaCkeye.
"Is your master at home Z" inquireda !
gentleman of the servant of the house Ut
which he was calling. "No, sir," replied
the man. "When will he be backf"
asked the visitor. "Can't say, sir, " said
the man; "wLen he sends me down 10
say he's out, can never be sure."
ORANGES are very cheap in this mar
ket now, but when you step on the peel
of one and sit down suddenly on the
cold and unsympathetic sidewalk, you
wish in your soul they couldn't be bought
for less than twenty-seven dollars apiece.
Gin. Breaktost Table.
PRISONER" said one of the magis-
trates ut petty session held few days
since, not far from Banbury-"P Prisoner,
you are charged with aiding and abcttipg
at q prize-fight." "Please, sir, ! take
my gospel oath didn't bet q farthing
upon j" was the reply.
AN old lady of our acquaintance has
been reading Darwin with startling ne
suits. She studied his chapter on Tho
Survival of the Fittest," /" and then aid
sh. xl:lrs% Lnn~ hnw Il v,n;uht - IN
England Dut ID AMellca sne nse M1.y
notlced Ina! tnose ,Io ns1 nv 49,
young. oWos r o 1uuu ,S
icaly, Petnap MI. Ds1'1n = amicss1 ~
snas way hlmselI, an1, Focl nn,
nasural enough " ho'sl up n's vvsn enu'
A PERSON recently met lady who ID
q having bean four timesa
widow, and has now again entered the
bonds Of matrimony. Said ths frisnd:
II believe l once had the pleasure OF
dining WITH you N reW AoIk
Mnen inquired .ns ia.1 Mvu
In loo-. no icpnco. me
said renecsveiy, may nave Oe1n
but had forgotten II iou - snc
added, IL WAS TWO OF tnroo nesOan
ago."
Of ! church are most intervening vhsn
the CONTRIBUTION box begins to gO round.
The very mention Of collection asena =
r0dse the faculty q seii.Iofgettn!nees