The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-04-05
PIN AND PAsTE-POT.


Tho Cincinnati Commercial feels good
because Russia will accept all of Turkey
without chrome.
When man sees his wife shedding a
cataract of tears it well-Niagara-
Yates him beyond endurance.
An aged negro died in Baltimore,
recently, who was Commodore Decatur's
cook, in other words, he was de caterer
Of Decatur.
It turns out that man in Michigan
who "lived forty days on water" had
plenty of provisions in his boat all the
while he was sailing around the lake.
A New Yerk journalist has composed
an s.EditoYs Waltz An editor's
waltz is usually danced to the tune of
"Mors Copy" and the music is general
y furnished by the devil.
"I want 10 die in harness." says Al
exandsr II. Stephens. It win be lit
tie difficult 10 find harness small
enough for the purpose, but it shall be
done.
1t is said that sliding down hill in the
evening air has been the direct cause Of
over sly hundred deaths this winter.
Always slide down hill in the summer.
D. Parke Washington Curtis writes
some verses and calls them "a Mem
ory." The fellow is probably trying
to remember the rest of his name. But
he can't do it.
The grasshoPper commission is pre-
pairing book of 500 pages, Now it
seems to us that if that book had been
printed in the first place, the grasshop-
pers would never have come.
A returned missionary was recently
invited to a party, when all the ladies
appeared in low cut dresses. Said he
TO his host, ''I don't mind it at all; I've
spent ten years among the savages.
The books that collect valuable
knowledge into small compass, and do
this wisely and thoroughly, are the best
books in the world. The same may be
said of a newspaper.
A shrewd patent medicine man has
been chasing Alexander II. Stephens
around for three months trying to draw
bead on him with pocket camera.
he wants him for preface to his ad
vertisement to illustrate "before tax
ing"
A candid Kentucky editor advances
the suggestion that special tax of 81
on each pistol owned in the state would
beat the bell-punch plan for taxation
all hollow. He wants to tax 'em by
the barrel instead of by the drink.
While reading a few chapters in
Noah Webster's entertaining novel,
we learned that whom they embalm
man they fill him up with aromatic
spices. Now we know why a man
chews cleves-be's embalming him
self.
George has great many pull-baeks
in life" said a young wife to q lady
friend. And when the friend said, Eyes,
I saw him with one yesterday" the
young wife didn't know what she meant
BY it.
The most enterprising piano manu-
facturers in this country have already
prepared their circulars. announcing
that they were awarded the ssfirst grand
prize" at the Paris exposition for the
best and sweetest toned instrument.
She was quoting, There is more joy
in" "Yes." interrupted Filkins.
more jaw in this house than ia che COM
bined show eases of the Bewery den
lists" An emineaa sileaee has hung
up its football on the door mat,
Good clothes make mere dtaerenee
with the worlds opinion than a good
many people are willing TO admit, How
do you suppose Senator conkling would
look climbing the heights Of fame with
u patch on his pantaloons
"Thats our family tree" said an Ar
kansas youth as he pointed to vigOr-
GUS hemlock. "a good many of our
folks have beenshung on that tree for
borerin' horses.
Worth says not one women in ten
knows hsw to sit down on dress. He
means her own, of course. Any wO-
man can sit down on apothers In stage
or horse car, and do it scientifically the
first time.
One morning after the fall of Plevna
one of the London papers is authori-
lively said to have issued the
enormous edition of 296. 900 copies,
Lord Beaconsfeld has conferred ths
Order of the Star of India upon the
editor, AIr. Edwin Arnold.