Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1878-03-14

MISCELLANEOUSs

The great objection to Goldfish is its for
eign accent.
Why is hen immortal? Because her
son never sets.
A navigator's most dangerous strait is
whisky straight.
'''rhe Beautiful Blood Danube" is the
way they spell it now.
When you bury animosity, don't mind
putting up a tombstone.
If the doctor orders bark, has not the
patient right to growl?
One old hat from America makes New
Zealander a whole suit of clothes.
The drop curtain is so called because
the gentlemen go out for drop while it
is down.
The Cincinnati Commercial publishes
list of prominent citizens-a sort of cattle
hog.
The New York Graphic thinks that
Thomas Lords failure to return is due to
the room mate-ism.
Too long coprtships are not allwuss ju-
dicious; the partys often tire out skore-
| ing before the trot begins.
Nature seldom makes phool; she sim
ply furnishes the raw materials, and lets
the fellow finish to suit himself.
Somebody thinks that DIR. Holland's g
last poem is ssalmost intoxicating in its
beauty" A sort of Holland gin, we sup
pose.
A Newburg goat recently devoured an
entire volume at one sitting. That's what
you might call a regular swallow tale
goat.
In reply to the question, "Will the COM
ing man be bald 20 the Norristown Her
aid afirms that che generally is when he
first comes.''
At social gathering few days since,
the following pleasing sentiment was
proposed as toast: "In ascending the
hill of prosperity may we never meet 4
friend.''
The table of life is abundantly supplied
If we don't eat too fast, it will taste the
better; if we don't eat too much, we shall
be better nourished; if we don't snatch,
there will be enough for all.
F The clerk of the criminal court having
read the Indictment of a prisoner for
horse stealing, said to him, "Guilty OIL
not guilty?'' He responded, ''I'm guilty
but then | want to be tried just the
same"
E A little damsel, being aggravated be
yond endurance by her big brother, fel
7 down upongher knees, and cried: go
+ Lord bless my brother Tom. He lies
he steals, he swears. All boys do; u
t girls don't. Amen.''
4 Norristown Herald: A contempOrar,
advice: ''Never call man a fool.'' Thi
t is pretty good advice. 1t is much safer t
:. conceal yourself behind tree box and hi
y the man heavy rap on the head with
: base ball bat as he goes by.
Somehow or other, there is somethin;
: in the expression in the eye of a venera
8 BILE William goat, as he turks around
: livery stable waiting for an incautiou
3 customer to come in and order rig, ths
: makes you think of the Russian army s
e Constantinop1e contemplating the move
ments of the British fleet.
l. FaCner, Is Jack D0GIeF nalne Ila
John ?'''
tENo, my son, Jack is inelegant. Sa
! john always .
Il tHWelI, Father, 1 saw you sling the boz
john at cat last night out of the batl
. room window"
e A schoolmistress in suburban towr
/ who had long been annoyed by the pc
versities of male pupil of 10, on one
K the closing days of the last term kept hi
D. in and undertook to whale him. He hoy
OF ever disarmed her, and returned sever
kisses for each blow. The schoolmistres
e. unable to forgive this breach of disciplin
ne looked him sternly in the face, and sha
ing her forefinger at him in menacir
IS manner, said solemnly: civilian, | W
es give you precisely fifteen minutes to st,
8; hugging me, and if you disobey me,
of shall punish You severely ."-CaIJoyr
Placer Argus.