Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1878-10-17
ALL SORTS.

Never abuse thermometer when it is
down.
| 1t is a weiss beer that knows its own
schooner.
The first fall of man-down stairs.-Ful-
ton Times.
Happy land-a contented lot.--Keokuk
Constitution.
A button is a small event which is always
! coming off.
The LATEST place in Germany 'Eidelberg
-L0aoeN Courier.
Suits of fall kinds will be fashionable next
month.-Keokuk Constitution.
An elevated railway conductor-one that
is little ''high. "-OI City Derrick.
Faith, hope and charity-the scarcest of
these is charity. Elnniro Gazette.
Getting cold victuals in hot weather is what
tramp considers to be hard work.
Out west they eat raw eggs with vinegar,
Rs: peRgs' and SALT and call them prairie oysters
The Port Chester Journal thinks that "a
yellQwcutionist is proof that sound has COL
or"
Be careful and do not swallow cherry pits
or coal pits in this weather. - Wheeling (Va.)
Leader.
In Spanish liberty is ''liiertad." Think.
says Spikes, of planting libertad-poles.-N
Y. Graphic.
You have doubtless observed that kanga-
roo is almost always on it's last legs.-OI
City Derrick. =,
The much despised cook deserves to rank
with Columbus, great dish-coverer. r. Yonk-
ers Gazette.
Utah advices state that the town of Alta
was destroyed by fire. How is that for high?
FLINT Journal.
Women love flowers and birds, They are,
however, not SO partial to swallows as the
meh are.-N. Y. Nesos.
"Bijah" discourages suicides. He says
people who commit it are never Of any ac-
count afterward.- Brooklyn Argus.
s:Stack arms-pitchforks and rakes.''-
Chicago Journal ''Ground arms-spades
and hoes. s."-jacksonviVe, Ill.,, Journal.
A farmer up at Cohoes has been churning
goats milk. He declares of the product that
it is the acame of excellence, the butter of
butter-Puck.
A woman has to settle a mans coffee with
the white of an egg, but she can settle his
hash with look.-Henpecked editor of the
Glasgow (Ky.) Times.
John writes to ask 'if old Boreas ever had
any wives?" Certainly, didn't you ever read
about the 'Merry Wives of Wind-sir ~
Whitehall Times.
The boy who will ride around all day on a
velocipede considers himself terribly imposed
upon if he has to wheel his baby sister two
or three blocks.-Puck.
The field spider now spins his airy drapery
over the nose and gutteral organs of the
tramp. Many and rare are the pleasures of
the country. ry.-Noraoich Bulletin.
Gilmore's band was failure in Paris, and
it did not pay expenses in Oil City. We SUBJ
NIT, therefore, that the title "Paris of Amer
ica" properly rests with us.-@ CSty Der
rick.
The small boy looks with longing eyes,
He vim not touch them # he's wise
Lurking in the core there lies
COlic and cramp unseen.
Meriden Recorder:
A fat take-taking two hundred pound
lassy to the alter. Camden Post. There is no
mistake when you bring her back again, if
the parson did his duty like Manu. y.
Neaos
London has Dining Room Magazine. OF
course it is illustrated with plates; and Annie
Thomas "Playing for High Steaks" would
make an appropriate serial for it.-Norrss-
t0aon Herald.
The prayer of the newspaper-''Give US
his day our daily be-read. - Whitehall
Times. '.And lead US not into the tempta-
ion of stealing paragraphs" might be added.
-N0r7Sst0som Herald.
Lady giving an apple to little boy) ''Give
his apple to the one of US three here whom
'or moment at all three ladies, took the ap.
)le, and-ate it.
Whenever a backw0,ds subscriber sends
lis editor watermelon the paper comes out
N a half sheet the next Saturday with an
pology about printing lawyers Briefs
Veao Orleans Pscavnae.
''Liberty and peaches 20 we'll together
Detroit Free Press. Wire does the cream
# that joke come in ?-Keok1k Constitution.
lis the eagle's-cream d freedoms peach.
e?- Whitehall Times.
''Captain, is it always tormy in this local
W" asked seasick Epl pean tourist, when
bout half way across Il pond. "How the
uce do know? dor live around here"
M Y. Erpress
The eclipse stopped ne of base ball at
Jtica, N. Y. That sort thing must not
ccur again, and the H. '"nly bodies might
9 well understand it at .e.-Neao Orleans
'icayune.
Formerly limp" me- lovely child, as
|scon in his prayer a. blessing on the
kings most excellent sty" and Tor his
entirely beloved son I "rd, our prince,