The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1878-12-14
Some Experiences as a Tramp.
by BEEMUS,


lords and ladies of EngIand-or long morning
walks over hill and dale, through wood and
glen. across parks and along the highway, eX-
tending miles and miles, before breakfast,
This exercise our British cousins call con
stitutIonal." Hitherto we had taken our'n
with sugar in it," We resolved to change
and try the transatlantic custom. We took
an inventory of our person. Our lcet were
ccrlaInly big enough Tor long excursion! AS
we stood we felt sure we covered more ground
than the average Of men. In the deep recesses
of our ample chest, measuring Al and hali
inches in circumference, there should be ann
pie space for large quantities OF pure ar a
Glance Mt the mirror revealed Il mouth of ri.
gantic extent, aptly described by that prince
of wars, I.oosh" Crooker, (who is privileged
to write "IIon" before his twisted name, who
once compared the yawning entrance to our
throat to the Mammoth cave Ky. Gazing IN
to this extensive chasm and remembering that
for years we had kept it in constant employ
ment for imblblng various liquids-evcry va
riety known to modern science, excepting wa
ter-wc did not doubt our abilityto tackle even
such of that ancient but weak beverage as we
might find at farmers wells.
We resolved on having walk in the rural
districts SEEING our hat and stick, we mean
dered forth. The morning was bright and
beautiful. 1t was balmy-everything balmed.
10 was autumn and all naturcd Mmned as 1t
were The glorious sun sunhed. The dew had
become overdue and turned ofrost,and troSted
everything. TIE leaves had left the trees,
which stood like naked giants, with theil long,
strong arms stretched forth TO battle the storm
king of the coming winter.
AS we passed the first farm house we were
treated to what we at first took for an ovation
by the CANNES of the place; but in TACT the
dogs were out as guards and escorts to see us
safely past the front gate. And such variety
of dogs! Black dogs and white, brlndle and
"yaler," gaunt dogs, lop-cared, no-earcd, long
tailed, bobtailcd, bow,legged dogs, and dogs
of all sizes, from the majestic New Foundland
to the contemplate poodle. AS we passed
each house suddenly dogs would pop out at
once from all sorts of mysterious places and
surround us They would yelp every note Of
the chromatic scale, and in every key. They
would howl at us from lower A sub bass, to
high G in the key Of four sharps. We, out OF
prudence, would be compelled TO stand and
take in the souharrowing concert until the
woman of the house would come out and
scream Say, you tramp, vagabond, ef you'll
Jest Jog on III call them are dogs OFF, We
invariby moved
After "a few miles travel we gradually be-
came accustomed to this sort Of thing-accll-
mated, rs it were But the monotony was
changed at one farm house. Instead of being
only one came out to greet us He seemed to-
have been aware Of our approach from a-tar
off, As we ncared the gate he poked it open
with his forward teeth, walked out to the road
and sat down upon his launches about five
feet IN front of us, in the most business-like
way imaginable He didn't bark, nor even
growl, but showed his teeth-four in the ante
room of his capacious mouth. He was re-
markably built animal. To- small and wircy
frame was attached a head about five sizes too
large. In fact the dog was all head, the head
was all Jaws, and the jaws were all teeth. He
could not shut his teeth together by couple
of inches HIS four monstrous teeth prOtrudcd,
and their sharp points passed each other an
inch or two, making fearful display of ivory.
We didn't like to walk over him-our polite
ness forbade IT. we turned to the right. Hell
arose and marched to the right and dignificdly
and firmly sat down before us. He opened
the immense cavern used as II mouth, probably
to show us his capacity to stow us away. lie
uttered II sort of confidential growl-saying in
the canine dialect, rs we understood it; This
is expressly for uamps.' We moved across
the road to the left, but he would not be left |
He initiated our example and resumed his fl
vorite position, smacklng his tremendous
chops and wggling his tail-a big stub which
stuck up like sore thumb-as If IN anxious
expectation OF II square meal from our noble,
but Just now trembling frame. We tried to u
remember our juvenile prayers. With us i'll
was pray, with him prey. We tried to say,
"Now | lay me down to-be caten-by this
doggonc of dogs" We tried tlattery we call
ed hm nice, pretty, smart doggy-wc he'd,
and we knew it-and he knew it, too,-as hcl
merely repeated his doublcb.ss growl-fourl
notes below any scale we ever heard of, An
idea struck us. We had noticed upon the
fence handbill headed "Grecnback meeting
here TO -nipht" We knew his master must he
Il liatist We had II copy Of the National
Greoaback BoaJoo.tcr, price 81 aycar in gold "
in our pocket We drew it out and read aloud
to the dog, GLORIOUS grecnback ncws Butler
will carry Massachusetts, by two millions ma
iorty. Hurrahl" We looked at the enemy.
A broad grin had settled upon his open coun
tcnancc We continued: The government
cart will he around next week to dump tons
of currency at our doors" The dogs stump