davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-01-31
Varied in Haste.

A wedding as abrupt, If not as fam
tastic, as Mr.. Wemmick's took pace not
long ago at Marlboro ON the Hudson.
During the afternoon well-known resi-
dent of the village called on the Rev. DR..
Osbon and invited him to dinner at six
o'clock. "Bring marriage certificate
with you,' said the host; 1--WE may have
wedding there tonight. The doctor
is discreet man, and did as he was told.
At his friends house he met large COM
pany, and after dinner was announced
teok his seat at the well-appointed table.
The host undertook to carve the turkey,
but made such bungling work of his du-
ties that one of the guests was constrain-
ed to remark to him .'You ahould get
married then your wife would teach you
the proper way to do these things" The
host did not deny the soft impeach-
ment, but told what manner of woman he
should like for wife ending by saying;
"Now, before we proceed further, spose
we take a vote as to who | shall marry"
The company entered into the canvass
with great hilarity, and after the vote
was taken it was declared that the host
was in duty bound to marry his house.
keeper, young and well educated lady
who had presided over the establishment
for more than year. The young lady
had stepped into the kitchen to give some
final directions to the cook, and when she
returned she was Informed of the views
of the company. She was completely Ia
Ken back, but when the ladies coaXed her
to give h9r consent, she placed herself IN
the hands of her friends. "Halloo! le-
get married nowI' exclaimed the host
with the imperturbable Wemmick's self
possession. The dinner was suspended
--indeel it had scarcely begun; the bride
took off her white apron: the bridegroom
dropped his napkin; the two were made
one the marriage certificate was signed !;
and the company kissed the bride and
then sat down to dinner with first rate
appetite The next day a spinster in the
neighborhood, hearing what had happen
ed raised her hands towards Heaven and
exclaimed in spirit of true devoutness:
"How sudden; there's no teliin' whose
t1rn III come next
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-01-31
Instructions to a Jury.

Speaking of courts, reminds us OF
funny instruction said to have been given
by Judge to jury nwell, we won't say
in what State Itruns in this way:
.If the jury believe, from the evidence,
that the plaintiff and the defendant were
a partner in the grocery, and that the
plaintiff bought out the defendant and
cave his note for the interest, and the de-
PENDANT paid for the note by delivering to
the plaintiff a COW, which he warranted
mot breachy, and the warranty was bro
ken by the reason of the breachiness OF
the COW, and the plaintiff drove the COW
back and rendered her TO the defendant,
but the defendant refused to receive her,
and the plaintiff took her home again,
and put heavy yoke or poke upon her,
to prevent her from jumping the fence,
and the COW in attempting to jump the
fence. bv reason of the poke or yoke,
broke her neck and died, and if the jury
further believe that the defendants inter-
est in the grocery was not worth anything,
the plaintif-s note was worthless, and the
COW GOOD for nothing, either for milk or
beef. or for green hide, then the jury
must find out for themselves how they
will decide the case--for the court, If she
understands herself. and she thinks she do,
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-01-31
The Phantom Dog Whistle.

Two singular incidents, which will fur
nish nuts to crack to unbelievers in the
supernatural, have recently come to light
in England in regard 10 the recent loss of
the Avalanche in the British channel.
A lad, who was great friend to one of
the apprentices who was lost, made ar
rangements to accompany him down the
channel and come ashore with the pilot,
but, at the last moment before sailing,
he was seized with such an indetnab!e and
ungovernable misgiving that he declined
to go and thus escaped almost certain
death The apprentice who was lost had
aretriever dog who was very fond of him,
and which answered to a shrill dog
whistle tha' he carried. On the night of
the shipwreck his mother and aunt were
in the sitting-room, and the dog in the
kitchen. Between 8 and 10 o'clock the
ladies were startled by hearing sbrill
whistle upstairs, resembling that Of
the dog-whistle used by the young man.
The dog heard it also, gave his usual re-
cognizing bark, and bounde'. upstairs,
where he supposed his master was. The
whistle was heard by two credible wit
nesses. whose testimony was confirmed
by the response made to il by the dog Of
the lost sailor.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-01-31
A Convincing Argument,

A southern reporter, who called upon
Bishop Beckwith, Of Georgia, to interview
HIM on the "helln question, got story as
well as theological argument. The
bishop said that in virginia, many years
ago, youth was under the care Of one Of
the old negro " mammies." She used to
figure to him many vivid and terrible
things that were to be encountered in the
bad place. By these descriptions Of the
torments Of hell she sought to make him
abhor evil and seek to escape its penal
ties. One day after hearing the place
spoken o. rom the pulpit, the little fell
low said TO his old nurse Mamma, you
say the wicked folks go to the bad place."
Eyes, honey, dey all goes down dar, sho'i
Dem dat don't lub and serve de Lord mus
all 90 dar n sAnd You say it is all fire
and birthstone down therel' Oats so
honey ie birthstone ar jess burnin' all
de time-an' nebber gifts done bulglin'
yer up furcbberr sWell. nanny, where
do they ret all the birthstone from to
keep the fire up2a stake care, honey,
doa's let that fool yer bout de fab Yer
carries dc birthstone wild yer, an dars
,nuff in de heart oh lie sinner ter keep him
in er blase furebber-- OATS sou
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-01-31
FEMININE.
Ex-Queen Isabella is writing for the pa
pers.
Nilsson grows stingy as she grows rich.

Ex-Queen Isabella is writing for the pa
pers.
Nilsson grows stingy as she grows rich.
Mr.. Lords family regards his marriage i'll
the light of a shrew-ed speculation,
Mr.. Lord has gone off. Evidently his fam
lily didn't know he was loaded.
Bertha Won Hillern can't get up an appe-
lite unless she walks hundred miles or SO.
American women will have their depart
ment at the Paris exposition,
Prof Blake thinks woman can learn to
talk Greek in four months by keeping her
mouth shut.
Miss Weatherhog, of Quebec, has got rid
of her name resulting in change of wealth
er and q fall of pork.
Mrs. Knight, one of the Worrell sisters,
had her ribs tickled at Syracuse, and knock
down, by George, was the consequence.
No GIRL. no matter how much she loves a
young man, can entirely forgive the size OF
his feet after they have trodden upon her
train.
A Kansas woman has reached the age OF
1870 years, and it is pitiable sight to see her
1O0-year-old son sit in the corner and wrig-
gle, while he sobs, MA, kin go out?"
An over-modest young lady up town de
clined an invitation to a soiree at friend S
the other evening on the ground that she
was engaged to go with her ma to one of the
D-mrosch concerts.
Small Girl-"Mamma, give me some more
pie. Mamma who wants the small girl to
say .1please' 81 don't hear you, my child.
Small Girl-s.Giye me some more pie J!
Mammal don't hear you, my child.
Small Girl-"Oh. mamma, you must be near
sighted in the ears."-N. 4. World.
A red haired lady, who was ambitious OF
literary distinction, found but poor sale for
her book gentleman in speaking of her
disappointment, said: Her hair is red if her
book is not An auditor in attempting to
narrate the joke elsewhere, said 'She has
red hair if her book hasn't"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-01-31
4 Tarantula's Nest.

The nest Of tarantula (spider) has
been found in California Of the most sim
prllar construction. II is about three
inches in length by two in diameter,
built in adobes. the wall being nearly
half an inch thick. Inside Of this IS a
projection, which nearly divides 1t INTO
two apartments, about an inch in diameter.
The inside is lined with white doWny
substance, not unlike velvet, and presents
one of the cleanest and most tidy little
households imaginable. But the most
curious part of it is door, which fits IN
TO an aperture, and closes it hermetlcaliy
The door is secured by hinge, formed
Of like fibroas substance as the hning Of
the house, and upon which il swings
with freedom. The nest is occupied by a
dozen little tarantulas, which seem to
subsist on a yellow secreted substance,
that appears upon the walls OF the 'front.'
The arrangement OF the door
for the protection Of the little inmates
indicates great instructive architectural
knowledge
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-01-31
A Disease of Indoor Life.

Among the natives of Senegambia
pulmonary affections are not only nearly
but absolutely unknown yet a single year
passed in the overcrowded mau-pens and
Storage hells of the slave trader often
sufficed TO develop the disease in that
most giruent form known as galloping
consumption; and the brutal planters o
the Spanish Antilles made rule of never
buying an imported negro before they
had "tcsted his wind" l. :, trotted him
up hill and watched his respirations.
If he proved TO be "a roarer" as turf men
tenn It, they knew that the dungeon had
done its work, and discounted his value
accordingly. III perfectly sound man
is imprisoned for life says Baron d.
Arblay, the Belgian philanthropist, This
lungs, as a rule, will first show symptoms
of disease, and shorten his misery by a
hectic decline, unless he should commit
suicide"
Our home statistics show that the per
centage of death by consumption in each
State bears an exact proportion to the
greater or smaller number of inhabitants
who follow indoor occupations, and IS
highest in the factory districts of New
England, and the crowded cities of our
central States. In Great Britain the rate
increases with the latitude. and attains
its maximum height in Glasgow, where,
as Sir Charles Bredie remarks. windows
are opened only one day for every two in
Birmingham, and every three and a half
in London; but going farther north the
percentage suddenly sinks from twenty
three to eleven, and even to six, IT we
cross the fifty-seventh parallel, which
marks the boundary between the manu-
featuring countries of Central ScotlaRd
and the pastoral regions of the north
Isis distressingly probable, then, to say
the least, that consumption, that most
fearful scourge of the human race, Is not
a mysterious dispensation of Providence,
nor product Of our outrageous climate,
but the direct consequence of an out
rageoIs violation of the physical laws of
God.-Dr. Fetir L. Os'oGLd, in Popular
Science Monthly.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-01-31
What Meat Shall We Eat.
BY COL. f. d. CURTIS.

The American people are gradually in-
crcasing the consumption OF mutton.
Thirty years ago but few fat sheep went
to the markets. Now more than mill
ion are required annually 10 supply the
demands of New York city alone. The
great staple meat food of the cities is
beat, while in the country districts it is
the flesh of swine. Farmers can not keep
whole carcasses of beat on hand, and if
preserved in salt, as they do their pork,
it soon gets hard and unpalatable. A
carcass of mutton being so mnch smaller,
event In hot weather, a considerable por-
ton of it can be used fresh, and the bal
ance picked in salt Mutton will keep
longer in a fresh state than any other
meat, and@when corned it is excellent
food. 1t is equally nutritious with beef
and far more wholesome than pig-meat
habits, and at all afflicted with weak di-
gestion, it is far healthier than beef or
pork. Many people who can not digest
either of the latter without distress, can
eat full meal of mutton and experience
no unpleasantness whatever 1t is the
cleanest and purest meat food in the
whole animal kingdom, as a sheep will
starve before it will eat anything dirty or
tainted Mutton wastes less in the pot or
oven than beef. The bones are lighter
and finer in proportion to the amonnt Of
meat in well fed sheep, and this, alone, is
an important item to those who have to
buy. The less shrink age in cooking is a
considerable percentage III favor of NUT
ton, The great reason why more mutton
is not eaten is because of its poor quality,
which is the result of no general system
practiced in the production of this i'm
portant staple. During the late war the
price of wool ran up SO high and the de-
mand was so urgent that the country was
stimulated to the increasing of the flocks
without regard TO their kind or character
Mutton became a secondary consideration,
or rather was not taken into the account
at all. With the close of the war and the
inevitable monetary reaction, there came
a crash in the price of WOO, and the sheep,
bred for heavy fieeces, were sacrificed
Breeding sheep for their fleece should be
confined to the great areas west of the
Mississippi, and remote from market.
So long as more than sixty million dol
lars worth of wool and wooden fabrics are
yearly imported to supplement our def
ciencies, growing sheep in those immense
regions will paw.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-01-31
A MOnafrOatfV.

One of the most remarkable instances
ON record of parental devotion and of success
in keeping secret family affiiction may be
found in the family of a citizen who is keep
ing drinking saloon in the western part of
Cincinnati. Twenty-seven years ago num-
Der of houses in the vicinity were destroyed
by fire in the night, including his residence.
His wife in delicate condition, suffered much
from fright, and subsequently gave birth to a
monstrosity-an offspring without any ofthe
better senses of a living creature, except that
of sight-without toes or fingers; deaf, speech
Iess-without the least spark of intellect or
instinct
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-01-31
decorated with a MEDAL.

Hon. F. S. Cristenson, member of the
Minnesota House of Representatives has just
received n medal of honor from the King of
Denmark, for services rendered his country in
the war with Germany. in 1864. The medal
is beautifully executed. On one side is the
kings head in relief and the inscription
Christian The TX, King Of Denmark" and
on the other is inscribed, "For Services
n the War of 1864 The medal was accom-
panied with diploma stating that it is to be
worn on the left breast in a red and white
striped ribbon attached to it, and on the whole
it is quite pretty plaything fer an American
citizen.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-01-31

secret ballot and DISTINGUISHING polygamists
and women. Mr.. Cannon denied the exist
enee of union of the church and State, and
declared the demand on Congress fol- secrc.
ballot to be without reason in fact, as those
non Mormons who are making such demand
are simply earpetbaggers and adventures
DR.. Mary Walker protested against Congress
ional interference with Norman poaygamists,
on the ground that the Utah system of mar
riage from physiological standpoint is an
improvement on monogomy and more en-
iightened phase of social evil. Mrs Spencer,
a strong woman's rights advocate based her
objections to DISTINGUISHING polygalnists in
Utah en- the ground that it would be in bad
taste for the Congress of the United States
which she declared to be composed in part Of
practical polygamists TO interfere with the
Mormons.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-01-31
The European war Enaea.

Latest European intelligence indicates
the conclusion of peace between Russia and
Turkey. The great purpose of Russia viii be
accomplished in the opening of the Darda-
nelles to Russian ships of war. This, virtual-
lv, as to Russia, makes the Black Sea free
Turkey has long since held the key, and the
Black Sea has been mare oidaStfa TO ali the
world. Russian ships, during winter, were
blocked up in ice in the ports Of the Baltic, or
in friendly shelter atsome neutral port. Here
after they will winter in the psrts of the Black
Sea. and Russia with the immese resources
of timber and harbors thus opened, viii soon
bacome the Great naval power of the world.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-01-31
English Grain Markets.

A leading grain circular says, during
the first four days of the week the markets
we're very fat with a tendency in prices to
decline. In consequence of the ministerial
proposal on the oath in parliament, the market
opened with an active inquiry for wheat and
maize, holders asking advanced prices, and
some business was done in both before the
market hours. At this market there was ex-
tensive business in wheat, white and red, adj
vaneing fun one penny per GENITAL on former
prices with trade buoyant Flour is in gooG
demand at full prices. A fair amount of corn
was taken and rather more paid for dry new
,,,ivnd old WIS 1lna1fprpd
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-01-31
High Gambling in London Clubs.

According to London correspondent
gaming is vice which thrives and grows
in spite of police regulations, legal pros
ecutions, and daily illustrations of its
perils and miseries. A year or two ago
hardly a week passed over without its
club card scandal. An officer high in her
Majesty's army had to fly his country in
disgrace for cheating at cards. A we'll
known gentleman about town was ignom-
iniously kicked ont of West End club
with two aces up his sleeve. Two or three
young men of family where ruined at a
club were play was understood not to
run high" and a disgraceful case of card
sharping came before the courts. For a
time it seemed as though these exposures
had deterrent influence on high stakes
and unfair slayers, but the old vice is still
rampant and the latest development of
club gambling is the formation of a
"baccarat' proprietary club, which is be-
ginning to excite public attention, and is
likely, hear, to come under the attention
of the police. have it ON reliable infor
nation that recently a young Scotch
laird" colonel in the army, whose name
| with hold for the present at all events,
lost at this 'baccarat' club at one sitting
$350,000. His opponent had played with
him from nine o'clock on Saturday night
until four o'clock on Sunday morning,
when the losses of the young colonel
stood at this enormous sum. II will go
you double or quits" he said with the
nerve of a Scotehman, though lacking the
proverbiai prudence of his race. NO"
raSpopdod thn,vinner ~ don't think
will; let me ask you one question first, at all
events" Proceed, /" said the loser. Sup
posing if you go double or quits, can you
pay 100000 if you lose?' Frankly, |
can not Then we will not go double
or quits, but we will continue TO play un
til ten o'clock if you like, and then / leave
off" The game went on, and at ten
O'Clock the young Scotch laird had re-
duced his losings to $4,000. which he
paid
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-01-31
Mail RObber Arresaei.

For two months the L. S. detectives
have been shadowing man named Carl
Namuth suspected of being engaged in
taking letters from the mail boxes in various
parts of Chicago, and on the 23d they effected
his capture, together with over two thousand
letters which he had in his house which he
had taken from the boxes opened and rifed
of valuable contents. His stealings, which
have extended over period of nine or then
months, must have been very considerable.
He was German-highly educated, fine look
ng, and has only been in Chicago year and
half. He is now in charge of the U. s.
Marshal.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-01-31
The wrong Man Hung.

A Rio Janeiro letter says: Much talk
has been caused by the confession of a man
that was the real author of the murder and
burning of a family of eight persons in 1852,
for which wealthy planter and three of his
slaves were executed IN 1856. The tragedy oc-
CURED near Miehai, and the murderer says
hat,,assisted by some dependents, he forced
the house in the dead of night, secured all the
inmates, outraged the Inflated woman, and,
driven to desperation as he foresaw the conse
quenees, deliberately, murdered the whole
family 70 destroy evidence, and set the house
on tire in expectation that their death would
he ascribed to accident.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-01-31
K,,,sa whit. A,,emn,,nat to sscape

A special from Somerville, North Ala
bama. announces the killing of Graham Nc
Carley by David Potett. McGarley was charg-
ed with Illicit distilllng, and on the way from
Jail to the Court House escaped and was pur-
sued by men on horseback, and overtaken a
mile away, Potett was in advance and fired
his pistol at him, as he said, to frighten him.
The ball penetrated McCarley's temple, kill
ing Instantly Potett gave information as to
where the corpse could be found, and then
left the country. McCarley leaves wife and
children ia destitute circumstances.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-01-31
sitting Rail.

Quite large band of Indians from Red
Cloud and spotted Tail agencies crossed the
Yellowston at the mouth of Cabin Creek,
December ed Reliable information reports
Sitting Bulls camp as 500 lodges at Woody
Mountain Dee 90 Also that almost daily adj
ditions of Indians from Agencies above named
have been received, one party of 100 warriors
Indications show the camp was making pre-
parations ia move South. In addition to the
large camp above named, many lodges of hos
tile Indians were camped this side of the line
on Rock Bud Frenchmans Creek. The prev
ious report of Sitting Bull having been on this
side is confirmed
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-01-31
The gene. OF Christoher Columbus.

On the Goth ult., the Spanish steamer
Alcantura arrived at San Domingo from
Havana, bringing the commission appointed
by the Spanish government to examine the
box supposed to contain the remains of
Christopher Columbs. The examination was
permitted after many formalities had been
gone through with. The box was removed
from its place of deposit, the scales broken,
and the inscription closely examined. The
bones We're scrupulouslY inspected and
photographs taken of the remains.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-01-31
-'- r. - Go
Catching Cold

Que chief Danger from colds is the cx
hatSted state Of the body that first ocf urs,
so ills not able 70 resist unfavorable in
fiuencts People who are not very vigor
ousi5hould avoid oyer-exertion and keep
the strength ap to the highest point. II
viii kalp those prone to a cold to sleep all
they can. Another cause Of colds is eat
ing 100 heartily after days work, wnen
theee are not forces enough to digest the
foo. and keep up the circulation. Eat
moderately at night if yoI would avoi"
a csijd. A cold in its early stages may be
brpgen up by hot foot-baths, warmth to
the9pody, especially hot pack Or a hot
b4ta in the middle of the day, with mucn
frieti0n and quiet in a comfortable room.
It Is not advisable to take hot bath at
niast in such cases. When you have IA
COLI, don't eat much or work much I'M
less you have great physical strength.
wt$n a hard days work may be a good
thi.3g to equalize the circulation and re-
stofe the action to the skin, which always
suffers when one takes cold -Hera5d of
UeY5th.