The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-01-17
HUMOROUS.

SOME EFFECTS OF EARTHQUAKE
The sensations Of men and women in
view OF earthquakes are various and
peculiar. We hear of a Utica gentle
man who entered his house with the
aid Of a latch-key about earthquake
time on Sunday morning. He had pre-
viously drank a glass OF beer, and he
said TO himself, holding fast TO the
banlsters, "Powerfullest beer ever
drank in my life."
civilian" called out his wife, "did
you fallG Are you drunk again, VIII
liam?"
"N-no," he replied. "What's the
matter with you? What makes y shake
the bed so? Got the ager agin 2"
civilian" she returned with a sob,
"you did fall, aud you know it.. You
made the whole house shake, too. You
woke me out Of a sound sleep. even
heard the dishes rattle, and IL seemed
as If the very bed was going out from
under me. This is the second time,
William. | shall write to my ma to-
morrow"
"Wish | understood 'stronomy, or
geology, or something" said the per-
secuted innocent to himself. 81 did
take a glass of beer, but l amt so much
'tOxicated that ! don't know when Pm
right side up" He thought seriously
a moment and then looked startled.
'P'raps they mixed it," he said. "Mus'
be. Seemed to me that the house wa
goin' around, anyhow"
Wa draw q vail nuar tho caana that
followed. There are some discussions
too sacred for the public ear, and an
angry woman in a night-dress is a some
thing too appalling for the public eye.
To the clear conscience even earth
quakes are not frightful, however. When
the editor Of the Amsterdam Recorder
was awakened by the shock he rose up
In his bed and called out in a clear
voice, "Gabriel, is that your" The
shock passed of, but not a wave of his
raven locks was disturbed. 81 say 7"
he called out %absently, "come in" The
silence was oppressive. 81 pass" he
remarked sleepily after a moment; add
ing, as he rolled over, "Two dollars in
advance; two and a half at the end of
the year."
~ Nv JOuiIk dllu lnllOCCDI lllCIO 10
necessarily nothing excessively dread.
full in these things. They do no under
stand them, and perhaps they have no
time to think of them. "What makes
you tremble so, MatildaP" inquired a
youth who was sitting alone with the
young lady mentioned, the old folks
having gone to bed. "You are not
afraid | hopeF"
IL wasn't trembling, Charles" she
replied. 81 thought you were. Why,
this is very singular. / think the build
ing is shaking. And listenl There are
burglars in this house, Charles. | hear
them in the next room. Oh, what shall
we doP Why didn't we keep the light
burning?"
"Hush" he said as one having
authority. "Not a word. Sit up closer,
Matilda. Let it come if it will. Closer
yet. Hang on to me, Matilda, and all
will be well. Or, if we must perish,
let us be brave and perish together"
Phoebe Couzzins was perhaps the
most stoical of the many who were
rudely awakened on this momentous oc-
casion. Gentlemen" she said, start
Ing up in bed, and sleepily rearching
around in vain for the help which, alas!
is not hers, ''my client is innocent.
The horse vas stolen by a totally differ
ent person. allude, gentlemen of the
jury, tO-to-what's that?" The house
was violently shaken, and she added,
with a firm voice, ''Barkis is willin';
and, at the same time, gentlemen of the
jury, | am not afraid" The shock died
away, and she resumed her pillow with
calm confidence, merely remarking to
herself, as she dropped asleep, "I've
heard enough about that Colorado cleo
ton. Now stOpl"
And a thousand colored men in the
Mohawk valley rose as one person and
shrieked, ''Sam! wos dat you? Why
don't ye come in and shut the do'?"
pausing a moment and adding with
frightened earnestness, "De debbil's
lOokin' down de chimbley, suah."-
Rochester Democrat.