Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1878-12-13

A ludicrous story is told of bailie whose
studies i'll natural history seem To- have been
rather limited. The following case came be
fore him one day: a man who kept fer
ret, having to 60 into the country. left the
cage with the ferret in charge of a neighbor
till he should return. The neighbor incau-
tiously opened the cage door, and the ferret
escaped. The owner was very angry, and
brought a claim against the neIgEbor for
damages. The following was the decision OF
the learned bailie: mae doot," he said to
the man who had been left in charge. "Ye
was wrang to open the cage door but, he
added, turning to the other, 'ye was wrang
too. For why did ye no clip the brute s
wings
1t Is also told Of a certain Glasgow baile
that, when visiting Paris as one of n depu-
tation from Glasgow to Louis Philippe, the
king said, when showing the party through
his library where he had many OF the Eng
lish classics .'lou will know Milton very
well oh, bless you, yes bless you,
yes, said the bailie cheeriully, delighted that
something had been mentioned that he lid
know. Yes, your majesty, | know Milton
very WELL Milton Is little place in the
neighborhood of Glasgow were Just
building slaughter-houses there
By the bad arrangement Of clauses in COM
made. A Wisconsin paper announced that
the Board of Education had resolved to
erect building large enough to accommo-
date five hundred students three stories
high" In an English paper an advertise
ment appeared, under the heading of 10
Let, OF "A house for family in good re-
pair. P,nich noted this, and conjectured
that "a family IN good repair must mean
one i'll which none OF the members were
cracked "The brooches would have been
sent before but have been unwell, was n
hote of apology sent TO Dean Aliori by his
jeweller , and Two sisters want washing
was an advertisement which appeared in the
Manchester Gtirdidu.
An amusing style of blunder is the bull"
for which the Irish get most credit. 1t was
an Irish editor that exclaimed, when speak
ing Of the wrongs OF his country Her
cup oi misery has been Overlooking. and Is
not vet full - 1t was an Irish newspaper
that said OF Robespierre that "IIc lett no
children behind him. except brother, who
WAS killed Mt the same time. Irish also was
the cornet who. when writing home from In
dla pralsing. the much-abused climate as
really one of the best under the sun, added
But lot of young fellows come out here.
and they drink and they eat, and they eat
and they drink. and they die ; and then they
write home To their friends. saying IT was the
climate that did ii ="
Though not SO numerous as those Of the
Emo raid Isle, Scotland is not without its
specimens OF this kind of blunder Two
operators IN one of the Border towns were
heard disputing about new cemetery, be
side the elegant railing of which they were
standing One of them, evidently disliking
the continental fashion in which 1t was being
laid ont, snid in disgust
"l'd rather dee than be buried in sic II
place"
"Wecl, It's the vcrra reverse Wi me, tuid
the other ''ior IN be buried naewhcrc else.
# I'm spared 4 story of Dean Eamsays
il given OF "A halt cracked man IN the purish
kmk of "Auld Ayr. who got his head IN be
tween the iron rails in front OF sent, and
startled tho congregation by cryin" out in the
middle of the sermon Murder. murder
my head will have to be cuttit all Holy
minister Omy head maun les cuttit aii
Its "A Judgment for leaving my godly Mr.
PEBBLES (hls former minister) Mt Newton"
When he had been cNtricatcd und quoted
and was asked why he put his head there, he
said 1T Wa. Iuist t. look on wi untl1 r,-
NUM-"
Amongst the instances of blundeTI from
absence OF mind are the following \ cler-
gyman, walking one day in the country. fell
INTO thought lie was SO accustomed TO ride
that, when he found himself nt II toll, he
stopped and shouted to the man "Ilcre
what's To pay
"fay for what (, asked the man.
For my horse, said the clergyman.
What horse Thcrr'sno horse. s.r "
"Hlcss me - exclaimed the clergyman.
looking down between his legs, Il thought
was on horseback :" sydney Smith was not
in general absent minded but he rays that
once, when calling ON u friend in London
and being nskel 10y the servant "Who shall
say has cal lcd2" ho could not for the life of
hun iecoll'ct his oT, HAne, and stared in
blank confusion at tho man ior some time,
before 1t came back t. him. The first Lord
Lyttleton was very nl'.,nt. 1t was declared
OF hlm that when he Tell INTO the river by the
upsetting Of n boat at Hagley he sank twice