Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1878-03-22
ALL SORTS,

A man that don't know anything will
tell it the first time he gets chance.
The best society and conversation in
the world is that in which the heart has
more to do than the head
We are not so ridiculous by the quail
ties we really have as by the affectation
of those we have not.
IF a friend points gun at you, knock
him down. 1t will be time enough af-
forwards to find out whether it is loaded
or not.
There is more JOY in--that is to say,
in the other place-over one minister
who proclaims that there isn't any-to
wit, other place--than over the ninety
and nine that haven't gone astray
It takes, according to scientific jour
nal, four thousand humble bees to weigh
pound but you stop humble bee
when he is right busy, and pick him up
and lift him. and you will raise your
hand to heaven and swear he weighs
ton.
An editor having read in another
paper that there was kind of tobacco
which, if a man should either smoke
or chew, he would forget that he owed a
dollar in the world, very innocently con-
cluded that many Of his subscribers had
been furnished with the article.
A little fellow five or six years old,
who had been wearing undershrts much
too small for him, was one day, after
having been washed, put into a gar
ment as much too large as the other was
too small. He shrugged his shoulders,
shook himself and finally burst out with,
"Ma, | do feel awful lonesome in this
shirt.
Rev. Matthew Hale Smith says that
''the Bible is choek full Of wit from Gene
sis to Revelations" On second thought
we endorse Rev. Smith. That little
job which Jacob put upon his old father
wasn't so bad, aud the joke which David
played on Uriah, cannot be beaten at
the present day, no, not even by grim
son Of Texas.
Any persons gifted with ordinary
common sense can perceive that life is
short, that time flies, that we ought 10
make good use of the Of the present
but it needs the union of good experience
with the most consummate wisdom to
know exactly what ought to be done and
what ought to be left undone, the latter
being frequently by far the more impor-
tant Of the two.
Some colorcd men were talking poll
tics in front Of a store the other day when
one said, TON, dey say de Publican
party am dead an gone to the Indepen-
dents. What sort politics dey got p
"Well, dey is de same as de hypo-
rit,dey wants de votes of both sides, and
minds me of a niger what come up from
Gilbert county; he went to Baptis' meet
in and he was big Baptis', den he went
to dc Methods meetn' and he outshout
EN- all, but he took care TO eat hearty
wild both nominations.
A gentleman spending a winter OF a
country town, being troubled with one
Jobs comforters. called at the village
"store" aud ask il they had any remedy
they could recommend for boils. The
country merchant studied the case Of
patent medicines with puzzled air
for a few moments, and then respond
ed in the negative, but as the stranger
stepped rather painfully from tho
door, a CLEAN Of intelligence lighted
up bis countenance, and he exclaimed,
BLAMED eff don I think the man has got
a bile"
A good looking Irishman, stopping at
a hotel TO warm himself, inquired of the
landlord, "What was the news ?" The
landlord. disposed to run upon him, re-
piled, They say the devil is dead"
AN sure" says Pat, that's news
iudade" Shortly after he went 10 the
bar, laid down, some coppers. and re-
sumed bis seat. The landlord, always
ready for a customer. asked him what be
would take. Nothing at all. !" said Pat.
why, then, did you put this money
here |" AN sure. sir, it's the custom
in my own country. when a chap loses
his daddy, TO give him few coppers TO
help pay for the wake"