Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1878-04-04
TAKING AN ELEVATOR
AGAINST SOME OF TIE PERlGS
AT STEW ARTS.


MRS. TUBES WARNS HER FRIENDS
AGAINST SOME OF TIE PERlLS
AT STEWARDS.
A correspondent of the Hearth aud
Home writes as folows:-
our perfect gentlemanly way OF put
ting my letter in your paper last Win
ter, writ as a warming to all bad boys
on ice, inclines me to send another let
ter which it will be a warnin' to all
young women neter to commit the mis-
take which did, post innocent on Sat
urday gone $3.50 It a big draoooods
store in new YORK. neerd cUnsidera-
BILE about this ere store, but | warn I
in no way prepared for all | see there.
Sakes. 1t was equal to a dozen villages
like Nandusenburg a-cOming out o.
meetln all at once. Such crowd !
never see, and the women maulin' Of
the goods without buyin', and the
clerks lOOkin on sarcastic Just like YOU
see in any ornery store. Well, l went
about better'n an hour gettin' a couple
o. pair of good domestic hose for my
son Jabez, and seyen-eighths of a ward
Of stuff for cheese bags; and sudden.
bein' uncommon tired, l felt a weak
spell comm on, and | hadn't hardly
strength to ask for chntz for the set
ting-rOOm sofa.
Next story ma'am, says the clerk,
kind o. looking sharp at me, wouldn't
YOU like to take elewator?''
Well, | lCds beat. 1t seemed a most
uncommon proceeding, and what |
never heerd no gentleman do before, to
ask me to take a elevator. had my mis-
givings what it meant, for our .JabeZ
with his jokes and what nots, though
his father and me is most strong tenn
prince folks, persists sometimes in tax
in what he calls elevators, which is
glasses o. speerits and water, calkerat-
ed, as he says, toE2ise droopin feelings
and tailin' strength.
"Sir, - says |, as lofty as could. II
prefer not, and to my mind YOU do
better for a respectable shop not to be
ofierin' elevators, leastwise not to me ;"
So kept walkin' round, not likin' to
ask questions shown my country WAYS.
and still feelin that awful feelin, of
goneness which them as has weak spells
is subject to, when another clerk, hear
in me ask for chintzes, said something
again about my taking a elevator. By
this time | felt dreadful. and so. saws /
maxim up my mind it was York fash
ion. and it warn't best to seem too
back-country. Thanks to you, sir.''
says |, 81 don't mind irwin sometime
of the kind, bein' most remarkable
thirsty"
Certainly, ma'am, y says he, a bow
ing careless towards a stand holdin a
fancy pail with spigOt to it, full of
what | might have took to be water.
judgin' by the taste, but l know well
enough it was some deceitful genteel
kind of liquor with the taste and smell
taken out, like they do to benzine and
castor oil. No sooner had | swallered
a goblet full oft when the young man
pinted to a little room which, if you'll
believe me, Mr.. Editor, give the queer
est kind of a Jerk you ever see just as |
oII ora,, IN, ssin' comfortable sofas
Al AZ, around tlle WITS of it, stepped in.
mere was 9ther ladies goin' in too, SO
we an set down, and | couldn't help
moiluerlIig whether the poor things had
peen tahih elevators like me. at
Woh !. 40 no harm, = says | to myself,
~ Hi1 mere a minute or two till this
Meak = sPeil passes off, - when, massy on
NE. Il dldn'tfeel myself AGOIN' UP
a ~ aSoin up, and with me the room
"i t,5 S9ias and ladies' and all! / clutched
-; ti9l u, VI the cushion and stared kind o.
WI, %llu IN. IKE as not, for one of the ladies bit
nel " F., as II contemplating to laugh,
60 CIV :. sun we was all agoin' up, eastwise
9o ~ seemed. cts all on account O.
o oonins mat elevator" thinks | to my
o oon, "nu Then it come upon me how un-
, uolil,,ion appropriate the word was,
i nfte.l drink, though often | had
W oa;. heard labels pa scold him for
using that expression. But | couldn't
sec ,p a iHeIl IN scared, particularly when [
I@iD ~ an oi student men and women
n' ~ walkin about in the air. Once
= Janlpeo up to go out of the room, but
"o Co M0rkln' some clockworks in the
~ ntl held out his hand. Sin one mo-
h Ilen' niadam.o said he, a pushin' me
PACK with such an air!
Did you take a elewator?'' / whis-
- 81 'duy setting dlOnSSlu6 OF
me. She nodded her head without saw
ing nothing, AID from her queer look L
reckoned she vas worse affected than
even l was.
TITS the first ne ever took in my life
here in York. Continues L; "our cOun-
Try elevators is more positive to take,
but they don't have nothing like the
erect, though l must say such things
never oughter to be took except in sick
Now, madam, =" says the clock man,
very pompous, ''you won't have no diff
lculty now.' Sure enough l didn't
nave no difficulty. For a minnit the
elevator passed of suddener than it
anne. | followed the ladies out lively
enough, but sakes alivel what time |
lad tryin' to find the street doorl |
lever was so bothered in all my life,
ihough | knOwed all along what was
ne matter, but just kept on without
skiing no questions of nobody, and
naly agoin' down stairs and down
talrs. and expectin' nothin' but to find
Myself in the kitchen, if Mr.. Stewards
'mlly lives anywhere in the buildin', |