Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1878-04-24

Maid of money-A young hciress.
The more suits at law, the less suits
go on your back.
Here would be righteous verdict
often times: Death by hanging
around the tavern.
Bob Ingersoll practices on the vio-
lin during his leisure moments. Per-
haps that's why he is an in-fiddle.
"Youug dogs" says an exchange,
shave q tendency to dog-ma's." Now,
how'd puppy-trate such pun as that !?
Next to English sparro We, there is
nothing that increases faster than po-
tato-bugs, unless it is the interest on
an unpaid note.
An old lady when she heard the
minister say there would be . knave
in the new church, observed that "she
knew who the party was.'
The latest style of kids are twenty
seven button gloves, which are join-
ed back Of tho ears, and serve to keep
the hair from tickling the neck
AUffCs . DuSug.
"That's our family tree" said an
Arkansas youth, as he pointed to q
vigorous hcmlock. "a good many
of our folks have been hung on that
tree for borrerin' horses"
The fret lager beer manufactured
in this country was in Philadelphia,
in l845. Since then il has grown
more popular than an Ohio man with
the present Administration.
A soft thing: A young man with
hair parted in the middle, ani array
ed in q rnfiled night.shirt, with .
silk wipe pro.rudiug from the pock-
ct thereof, is the eoftest thing we can
imagine At the present writing.
The mucilsge on postage stamps il,
in part, made Of peach brandy; but
the man who can lick enough post
age stamps to got drunk can lick Rus
sia with both hands tied behind him.
-Washington Post.
They now build pianos only weigh.
ing 200 pounds, aud the young lady
who has for years been try ing 10 lift
one off its legs by pounding on the
keys ought to be very happy
A stranger was strolling about
CostellO's taunery, and accosted Pat.
Daily, the bark grinder: "Is there q
man about here with one eye by the
name OF Jerry McCarty ?" "Fhat's
the name Of his other eye T. sxid Pat.
1t is said that q minister's son, of
Waterloo, N, Y, cast . gloom over
sn entire church fair by walking up
to the grab bag and prize cake table,
and demanding 4hat the game DO OK
planned to him before he bought .his
chips.
They say" remarked the Rev. Mr..
Hutchinson, at the Clinton (col,
Church, last Sunday, "that Beecher
has knocked the bottom out of He'll.
But it's all the worse, brethren, ali the
worse-for He'll ia only made 90
much deeper I"
Mrs. Denison, says an exchange, !, has
made enough money out Of that
Husband Of Mine" to purchase 4
Washington residence. 1t is not
strange; many . woman has made
enough money out Of that husband oil
hers to 60 into all sorts Of extraya.
gances.
A story 10 told by . Southern con.
temporary, how . very excellent farm
or in Georgia hearing that coal OF
would kill vermin cd hogs, provided
himself with fat lightwood torch
and, 1t being dark, commenced work
Unluckily, just as he had gotten then
well creased, a spark from his torcI
fell ON the back Of one, and in an in
slant no was In . light blaze. Th'
flames communicated to the others
and in few moments tho drove wa
running wild, floeing with lightning
speed, and appearing in tho darkness
like 1ire fiends. The next day tn,
farmer found his bacon cured and
idone up brown.