The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-10-10
Hunting lodgings.

Our English cousins are also infected
with the Exposition plague. They see
Americans swarming here, and they de-
sire to have the first pluck at them.
He who stops in London at the present
time had better throw himself upon the
mercy OF Il good hotel and drift. 1t
will be cheaper than lodgings. An
American friend said to me, "The next
time you visit London, stop ut the Cas-
tie and Falcon, in the city; an old hotel,
such as Charles Dickens loved to de-
scribe" | thought | would, but nearly
failed from losing the combination. In
its struggle to get back to my mind af-
ter wandering away, it became The
Cat and Crocodile" "The Rat and the
Unicorn" The Monkey and the Bar of
Soap" Tho Cheese and the GridirOn,
and know not how many more. On
arriving at London Bridge station,
however, the name camo flying into the
the mind, and will probably live there
in future. The Castle and Falcon
turned out to be an ordinary English
inn of the regular model. Here is the
bin for days board for two, itemized:
Apartments, IS; attendance, Is; break
fast IS; dinner, lbs; tea, IS; strawber
ries at dinner, 5s-the latter charged as
an extra. Everything is extra that gets
outside of plain cooking. This bill
footed up Al shillings-equal to SlO.21
of our money. The sum is not large in
itself, but becomes immense when set
beside what was obtained for it. | said
[ will try lodgings. So | went to Ken
sington and called upon lady, bear
ing card from house agent She
showed me rather shabby sitting room
and most uninviting bedroom
"How much week p | asked. She
was slender. cadaverous woman with
bony hands. She rubbed one over an
other and said, You are an American,
[ believe q / said, No; far from SIGH.
I am from the sterile plains of KAN
schatka, where the inhabitants are poor,
but oh! how vlrtuous, She took my
measure as she thought and answered,
The apartments, without board, will
be four guineas and a half II week.
There will be charge of six shillings
week for attendance, siXpenso piece
for each gas burner, three and siXpence
for lighting the kitchen fire, and Il
charge for washing the bed and table
linen This is a literal copy Of the
original speech. | said, care you sure
you havn't forgotten something's She
had--the thoughtless woman-it was
for backing boots. said, Try again,
and don't be bashful. There's the
house rent, I'm sure you've omitted.
l told her at last there was but one OBJ
lection to the price, and that was that
she wanted guineas, and rs the last of
them went ont with George III. | real
" shouldn't know where to look for
them. l came away.
then advertised in the Telegraph.
The advertisement didn't appear, to be-
gin with. / went to the Office and
spoke of it to the man whom | had
paid He pointed to the end of the
counter, where there was sign, En-
quiry Clerk | went to this desk and
waited with that angelic patience with
which the Americans are prc-emlnently
gifted. At last | lifted up my voice
and said, Where is the man p and the
directing clerk said "Lo, lie is making
inquiries for another party l then
again formed partnership with pa
J.
sing tue theme there came in a worried
Englishinan full OF questions. he said
to me. Where is the clerk who an
wers questions? 2" and | said, as speak
ing in a dream, HE has gone to China
to make inquiries" And then said the
Englishman, Really It's hardly
worth While for me to wait; don't you
think SOP At this moment the ardent
ly longed-for clerk appeared. Now
why did this advertisement not appear?
| will give you the last reason that
would occur to you. 1t was that they
had nine c0lum.S of advertisements
over that they couldn't get III. said
your explanation would be satisfactory
to an Englishman. To n barbarian 1t
simply excites astonishment through
its heart-rending stupidity. If nine
solid columns of prepaid advertise
meats won't Justify supplement the
creation of another world wouldn t
bring it. SO my advertisement handed
in on Friday morning could not come
out until Monday. On Tuesday | had
eighteen letters aud Il printed pamphlet
as answers to my mystic question OLE
lodgings. The price ranged from one
pound to six guiueas, all the places
possessing the comforts OF a home
kind OF home not specifed-and in two
distinct instances going it blind as to
my state Of grace, and Offering to CON
vert me free of charge salvation not
to be counted rs an extra in the bill. |
have filed away the eighteen for future
reference. Paris Cor. L0"iSriIle Court
er-J0tyudl.
p,r.YN Pr - Dna taapupful Of