The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1878-12-14

Edgar Fawcett wishes that 4" man could make
love like n bird He does, Edgar, he does, like
, goose.
The first thing some women will do when they
get tc heaven will be TO look and see if their
wings are cut bias, while the wings of other an
gels are gored.
's You must be 4 quarrelsome fellow" said a
phrenologist to a man whose bumps he ex-
amining - Say that again, and Ill knock you
down :" was the response.
Kansas has limberger cheese factory, and
case of yellow fever can't get within ten miles of
the state. The victory is always to the strong.
a clergyman in Pennsylvania, instead of say
ing, - Let US pray ~ says 90 Let interview
the throne of grace" The dominic had once
been reporter.
An old Irishman watching game of base ball,
was sent to grass by foul which struck him in
the fifth rib. "A fowl, wuz ut? Begorra,
thought it wuz mule
In divorce suit in Iowa the wife's complaint
was that her husband rubbed her nose with
nutmeg CRATER. The Judge said he never heard
ofa CRATER crime
An enthusiastic editor wrote - The battle is
now opened" But alas the intelligent COM
positor spelt 40 battle with co. and his
readers say they have suspected it al! along
4 Georgia man changed his residence eight
times IN eleNcO uOutus LIlc ldsI nis WIG
said she didn't even care to 90 to heaven, for
about the time she got fixed up her husband
would want to move.
a commander inspecting an English yeo-
maury regiment on outpost duty. ''What are
you doing here, my man - he asked vidette.
- Maxim n fule of mysel, SIR '' How SO ?''
"Why, should be at hOam carryin' hay
8. See here" said an eccentric old man to an
Office boy who had brought doctors bill to him.
L Ill A.
for the items of medicine charged in this BILL but
as for the visits. Nhy-lll return them"
The religious papers of England are discussing
the momentous question, a. Ought clergymen to
wear mustaches? ?' We think, as cold weather
comes on, they should, and on days of extreme
severity they might add pair of trousers and a
thick vest.-HalUkeye.
A young Detroit printer, who parts affection
ately with his young lady at the garden gate,
refers to the tender occasion g up to the time
of going to press"
A lady had invited gentleman to dinner on
particular day, and he had accepted, with the re-
servation, &" If I'm spared ~ Weel, weel, -"
said the lady, . If yere dead II not expect ye."
You can't have every thing you want in this
world Life is like blanket that is too short ;
ifyou pull it over your shoulders, you uncover
your feet, and If you cover your feet your should
ers must be bare. However, some cheerful peo-
ple manage to draw their feet up little, and so
pass pleasant night.
1t q solemn impressive thought, when you
look at such man as General Grant, or Charles
Francis Adams, that some day, away back IN the
shadow land of the misty past, woman used to
turn these mighty figures of the present upside
down, and count the stitches in the biggest patch
on their trousers with a hat-soled, pitIless slip
per-HdtCkeye.
A little Portland girl recently testified inno-
Gently to the life of drudgery experienced by the
average queen of the household who does her
own housework. Somebody asked the child If
her mothers hair gray. l don't know,
her head and she never sits down -
A PERsoNAL.-The New York Herald contains
the following most suggestive and touching per
soual'' - Puss, come back or write at once and
all will be forgiven by your heart-broken Tom
nv Tat If Tommy has that fellow feline
which makes wOndrous kind, he will not resist
this appeal, but will come to the scratch without
delay.
The following advertisement almost, we fear,
Zoo good to be true is said to have been actually
cut from Dublin paper Lost, where it was
dropped, an empty bag with a cheese in it, the
bag marked l.. G., but the letters quite worn
out the person who lost it never missed it till it
vas gone, so, If any person will bring it to him,
he shalI receive reward of 5s. paying for
this advertisement" Surely this bag must have
belonged to the Irish orator who informed his
audience that I" all having been said that could
III IT.