The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1878-08-10
NUMBER II.
PASSING SMILES.

RED is used for danger signals on
railroads, and it always means stop"
On mans nose it ought to give the
same warning.
HIprorHAGy is becoming decidedly
popular in Vienna, where two thousand
and forty horses were slaughtered for
food during the first five months of this
year.
LATE scientific Investigations have
developed the fact that the rate of
mortality among negroes is more than
twice as rapid as among the white
race.
PARENTS are never satisfied. In
bathing season the ambitious infant is
thrashed for taking TO water; in later
life he is held in whitening scorn for abb
staining from it.
A BOY will make pretty good time
when he's sent down town for raisins;
but give him coal-oil can, and you'd
better put mark on him so as to iden-
tify him when he comes home.
EDISON says tits periodical rather than
continuous noise that wears upon the
brain, and adds that if the roar of the
city was to suddenly cease at high noon,
thousand men would drop from the
nervous shock.
IT is stated that lady in England has
made demand on the United States
Government for the swords of the late
General Twigg, captured by General b.
| +. Butler ut New Orleans. They are
valued at $4,000.
SAID Genesee restaurant man one
morning: "When customer calls for
| five-cent plate of soup and pockets ten
cents worth of toothpicks, am satisfied
| that Carl Schurz cannot make it too hot
for timber thieves"
PRISONERS in the Connecticut State
prison get reduction in time of two
months from each year of their term by
good behavior. This, to man serv-
| ing life sentence, must amout to con-
siderable at the end of his time.
THE editor of the Reading (Pa.) Times,
now abroad, says that the ball on the
spire of the dome of ST. Peters at Rome,
five hundred feet from the pavement,
will hold only sixteen persons but that
half of them are always sure to be
Yankees.
STRONG proof of the rapid strides
which education has made in France is
/. derived from the fact that only four
| thousand nine hundred and ninety-two
of the of 294, 1882 men admitted into the
army last year were unable to read and
and write.
A SPECULATION in Milwaukee has
started out with determination to get
possession of every bushel of wheat in
the country. There's no cause for
ol,~.x. L.u,axar Utru IN whisky on n
be made out of corn, we are told
BreakfasE Table.
"IF you were in the jungles and
should meet royal Bengal tiger, with
his eyes glaring fire on you do, what
would you dor inquired one cockney
of another az don't known what
should do; but know if was on
Bond-street I'd call cab!"
The diameters of bodies in the solar
system are--the Sun, 1882 miles;
Mercury, 1924; Venus, 1857; the
Earth, 1916; the Moon, 2,209; Mars,
4,189; Ceres and Pallas, uncertain;
Juno; laps; vesta, 2a8; Jupiter, 3d.
10; Saturn, 70, 042; Herschel, 35.l12.
AN old lady passenger was so much
impressed by the polite attention she
received from a railroad conductor
in Connecticut, that she recently
left him two thousand five hum
derd dollars by her will. But will this
catch the eye and go to the hearts OF
other conductors?
THERE is said TO be running wild in
the woods of Texas a man who was made
insane by the study of the currency
question: You will find quite number
of men in Congress between whom and
this Texas man about the only appreci-
able difference is that they are not rum
ming wild in the woods. --LouisvitIe Rite
Ball.
Popular Science Monthly proves that
death by hanging is painless. That
would be we'll enough If the hanging
could strike man like lightning, before
he knew it was coming. 1t is standing
around waiting for the thing to come to
focus that makes it unpleasant. That
is, we suppose so. Ours has been very
quiet and truthful life; we we're never
hanged, and in fact haven't had much
exciting experience of any kind
HdaokeVe.
On, for some cool outrageous spot,
Where 1t isn't so dog-goned awfully hot;
Where the-where the-where the-where the
Where theft could-where the-where-
Oh, for some cool outrageous spot
Where 1t isn't everlastingly hot;
Some place where NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. the
Where the-some place where the--some-
Oh, for some cool outrageous spot
Where it isn't SO dreadfully, horribly hot;
Where the breezes--where the whispering breezeE-
Breezes--where the whispering breezes-where
the
Oh, for some
But somehow or other this doesn't
seem to be our day for poetry. Hack
eye.