Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1878-10-27

Brother Pinkkam Finds that Two
Trades Are Better Than One.


We are requested to state that Brother
Pinkham will not be able to con-
duct the divine services at Pinto, as
usual, on the last Sabbath Of the month.
His last efforts over there were not duly
appreciated, or, in other words, he only
got away with So so. Brother Smith had
got tired Of furnishing alcohol and "a very
little camphor, just for the headache, you
know and something had to be done, so
he went into the study of medicine
studied up what to put on his sign, and
last evening hung it out. With the char
acteristic good luck which is always sup
posed to attend that class, who are bound
to live without work, he was requested to
call at the international and prescribe for
an invalid, who had just come in over the
Eureka and Paisade railroad. In five
minutes lie was bowling before a more ex-
tensive body than the very head of the
Nevada Republican State ticket, the pa
TENTS feet were encased in what he called
slippers, but they resembled a pair Of carpet
bags; his hands looked like a couple of
cold, boiled hams; his mouth looked like
the entrance to Fingals cave, and his
capacious stomach appeared to have been
the receptacle of anything in the eating
line. from the land Of Canaan milk and
heney. which we read about, to the Digger
Indians dried g~rasshoppers.
He met DR.. Pinkham with q full head of
steam on. His room was strewn with
bottles-it resembltd an ill-kept drug
store. He Vas hunting anything that was
anti-fat; it did his eyes good to look upon
a thin, wasted, dried-up, bony orphan; he
was looking for a doctor, a climate,
anything that would take off his super
fuous tlabbiness; he was ready to anoint
himself from head to heel, in coon oil,
goose grease, or the marrow from a hogs
jaw-bonc; he would drink any liquid from
catnip tea up to rat soup; he was ready to
slap on anything pasty, from the size Of
a postage stamp to that Of a poorman's
plaster. He had tried q doctor for every
component part in his makeup; one had
treated him for govt, another for the poll
evil" while a third had reused, relaxed
and Hoped his liver until it was in a worse
condition than Deals .seditious liver"
which Mr.. Daggett showed a lie under.
He was going right on in this strain,
when DIR. Pinkham, who, by the way,
hadn't found time" to eat for a couple of
days, shut him off with an assurance that
fee in advance" was customary, and,
with a grunt. the fat patient handed out a
gold piece, and started off again on his
ailments; bus Pink had the coin AMI it
was burning him, so he pulls his hair over
his eyes, throws open the window, and
pitches out every bottle and article of med
icine in sight before his clumsy patient
could circulate" to prevent him.
While fatty" was venting his wrath in
more expressive than elegant language,
the doctor was standing in the door, hat in
hand, and was advising his patient to get
up at 4 o'clock this morning; hunt up
some OF our pedestrians. and take a trip
with them to the Willows.
Pinkham is feeling in excellent spirits,
this morning; has some of the money left,
and predicts for himself a fat living in the
practice of the " professions.