The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1878-11-20
HUMORS OF THE DAY.

When usefulness is considered, the man
who smokes. cigarettes dwlnd!es into in
significance by the side of the individual
who smCkesshams. "
The proper man for girl to marry is
after she has counted up her cash and
found that she can support her
self in case her husband turns politician.
An Indianapolis barber who abandon
ed his business and went into the minis
try, was suddenly called upon to baptize
three candidates. He got along very we'll
but after baptizing the first he astonished
his congregation by Justify shouting,
<'Next!' ..-
An oldgIr;sh soldier, who prided him
self upon, his bravery. said he had fought
in the battle Of Bull Run. When asked
if he had ret1eated and made good his es-
cape as others did on that famous occa-
sion, he replied: "Be jabers, those that
didn't run are there yit!'
A gentleman, being threatened with an
infectious fever, said to his little son, who
in an affectionate mood wished to en-
brace him, "you mustn't hug me; you'll
catch the fever" Willie, standing back,
looked in Amusement upon his papa, who
by-the-way, is a pattern of propriety, and
quickly asked, ''Why, papa, who did
you huge" >-,.s......s, tt.r
Smoking in Holland" said a traveller,
sis so common that it is impossible to
tell one person from another in room
full of smokers" GLOW is any one who
happens to be wanted picked out, then?''
said listener. ooh, in that case, a
~ ..oo. rox,r1 Nth ,,o:. r,F ho11 ou,o
and blows the smoke from before. each
face till he recognizes the person called
for. Fact, gentlemen" III, o.; =z,srs 81.
# The elections in the United States OF
of Colombia have just closed peacefully
and the regular revolution is being or.
ganized without any alarm or trouble
The new President will be shot to-mor
row, and tranquility will be restored. The
people Of Santander have adopted resolu.
tons expressing their esteem for and con
q fdence in the old President, whom they
shot yesterday. There is no interruption
to business f.
The gas suddenly went out at a Sar
Jose concert the other evening, and when
It was relit ayoung lady Indignantly &C
cres9d happy looking man who sat or
the next bench Of kissing her in the
darkness. Tie man tried to explain, bu
some Of the lady's friends seized anc
proceeded to fire him outwith expedition
As they reached the door the victim man
aged to gasp out: ''Me kiss woman
Why, I'm just divorced.''' That settled ii
He was apologized to, and the man G
experience proudly resumed his seat.
At tdiscussion meeting, held b,
negroes, thaquestion OF the evening VI as
(Which am de mudderg of de chicken
de hen wot lay de egg er de hen wo
matches de- chlcks2' The question wa
warmly debated, and many reasons pr
and con were urged. and combated, whe
ashrewd fellow put the case thus: "S'pos
dat you set one dozen ducks eggs unde
a hen, and dey, hatch, which am de mud
der-de duck or de. hen9" This was
poser; but the Chairman extricated then
from the difficulty. Rising from hi
chair in alhthe pride of conscious superi
tY, he announced: "Ducks am NOT befnr
de house; chichens am de question; dere
fore rule de. ducks OUT And SO b
did, to the, complete overthrow of thos
who held asdifferept opinion