Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-04-08

Crocusses are already found In the
suburbs of the city-generally near the
henneries.-Graphic.
Don't you think, husband, that you
are apt to believe everything you hear ?"
"No, madam; not when you talk"
Precocious youth (munching the fruit
of the date tree): Mamma, if l eat
dates enough will l grow up to be an
almanac"
1t is not often the fulfllment precedes
the promise. but new maple sugar al
ways appears before the sap begins to
run.-Berkshire Courier.
Six hundred deaths are recorded this
winter, directly caused from sliding down
hill. We advise our youthful friends
next season to slide up hill.
AS long as three women can sail along
the sidewalk side by side, making all
who meet them turn out into the gutter,
why should they lose sleep because they
can't vote ?
Said a friend to a bookseller, "The
book-trade is affected, l suppose, by the
general depression. What kind of books
feel it most ?" "Pocket-books," was the
lacOnic reply.
The demand for trade dollars contin-
ues, says an exchange. Well, we should
say so. The demand for all kinds of
dollars in 'these parts" is away ahead
of the supply.
We suppose a good many men will
throw up their hats and yell for Joy
when they learn that "the coming bonnet
is capote of shirred silk with tulle
cap under it,
"That's our family tree" said an Ar
kansas youth, as he pointed to a vigorous
bemlock. "a good many of our folks
have been hung on that tree for borrerin'
horses after dark"
A poetess weighing 16O pounds yearns
to twitter, as bird on some lone spray
When she gets on a spray and begins to
twltter there is going to be an item for
the local paper.
A lady of Chicago who was buylng a
pair of pantaloons for her son, on being
asked by the salesman how large her hoy
was, replied, About six inches taller
and somewhat smarter than you are"
"Well, 1 swan, Billy" said an old
( farmer to an understood nephew who was
r visiting him, "when you take off thai
ere plug hat and spit two or three times
threre amt much left of you, is tn ?"
: "Any news. Mr.. Jenkins ?" asked tn,
I landlady as that gentleman laid dowl
+ the paper and began to struggle with hi
steak. "Yes, ma'am," said Jenkins
"Sitting Bull has crossed the boarder."
A wise correspondent writes to ask u
why the winters of 1898, 1908, 1918
1928, 1888, 1848, 1853, 1868 and 1877
= should have been-unusually mild? W
can't imagine, unless because they wer
:. temper-8.
: An Indiana editor, writing home fror
New Orleans, dwells with evident gust
on the generous dimensions of the drink
D ing glasses used in the saloons of tha
city. He says it made him feel at frs
as if he were drinking out of churn.
ed A man was earnestly looking in til
bung hole of whiskey barrel, as if
search of something he could not finc
"What are you doing?" asked bystanc
. er. "Why, I'm seeking my reputatic
'. in the place l lost it, was the mournf,
is reply.
ed "To cure sleeplessness, eat an onic
Of OF or two previous to retiring" says a me,
ical writer. Origins has tried it, ar
Se his wife will sell her furs to reward Il
Of hackman who will set her down at Il
n. door of the doctor who published IL
above discovery.
The minister was telling the story
Mary Magdalene to the children, an
when he had finished, he wished to a
81; certain if they had been listening atte
III" lively; SO he asked. "Now, childre
So what did Mary have?' Billy Gre
j. yelled out, MARY had little lamb i''