Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-08-01
Little bits of lemon.
Little chunks of Ice,
Little water and sugar,
Make q man feel nice.

Boston Post
Inc 1,oUO young women of Cleveland
who are pledged not to associate with
youg men of cOnvivial habits ara eettino
terribly lonesome.
EalsonS very, very, very latest irven-
ton Is the tesimeter-to measure pres
sure. Every young lady should wear
one about her waist, as evidence in a
SUIT Tor breach of promise.
| live in Julia's eyes," said an af-
fected dandy in Colman's hearing, g
don't wonder at it," replied George,
since L observed she had sly in them
when L saw her last"
Doesn't Boston Harbor remind YOU
of the Bay of Naples ?" asked an en-
thuslaStic yachtsman. Eyes" was the
answer, at least in one respect. They
are both full of WATER Boston Trans
cript
Sam Page, of Boston. is a one-horse
phllanthrOpist. One of his hobbies is
that all binders should be removed.
He wants the horse to have a chance to
see fellow kiss his girl.
Little Johnny ran into the hOuse the
other day while the mercury was hug
glng ninety-five degrees, with the pers-
plratlon streaming from every pore and
shouted: Mamma mamma fix me-:
I'm leaking all over p Cincinnati Break
fast Table
When a boy does something funny,
and you laugh at it, he will invariably
keep doing 1t twenty or thirty times
more, till you have to knock him down
with something.
A beautiful widow of Newport, r. l.,
having left the chalet for the season.
was asked what induced her to desert
such charming retreat. "Too much
balcony and too little Romeo" was the
reply.
Edison is accused of being the father
of invention. We have no desire to
open up fresh scandal, but if Edison is
the father of invention it is the duty of
necessity to show her marriage certifi-
cate-if she has one.
A man in a rural settlement. whOhas
been an lnveterate smoker for th e last
70 years, has suddenly and permanent
ly given up the practice. He knocked
the ashes of his pipe into keg of blast
ing powder.
The argumentum ad-" Sam, you are
not honest. Why do you put all the
good peaches on the top of the measure
and the little ones below" Same rea-
son, sab, dat makes de front of your
house all marble and de back gate chief
ly slop bar'l, sah."
Boswell dining one day with DIR.
johnson, asked him if he did not tn ink
that good cook was more essential to
the community than a good poet II
don't suppose" said the doctor, "that
there's dog III the town but what thinks
So"
A man who, having lost heavily in
business, had become morose and lima
tured, one day said to his wife: 1--WE
must sell off some of our carriages.
Which shall it be?" "My DEAR" re-
sponded the wife, you may do as you
please so long as you get rid of the sui
ky and retain the sociable"
A st. Louis doctor says: "Imagina-
ton and great mental fear cuts as i'm
portant figure during a sunstroke as it
Is conceded it does during the preva-
lence of an epidemic. Hundreds of au-
thentic cases are on record of persons
who nave died during cholera seasons,
of whom, after death,
showed that cholera did not exist in any
degree with them. A slight pain in the
head, or dizziness, is felt by some per
son who has allowed bis mind to be
filled with his fears that he would fall
before the heat. He Immediately cries
out, Great God, [ am sunstruck,' and
falls to the earth unconscious, and to all
ntents and purposes a subject for cold
water and ice"
The Sdr0t0gjan says that our Bubbles |
ire pretty, but have nothing in 'em. |
I es, we modelled them after your head, |
ny son. P. S.-What strange crea-
ures mortals areI Now if the Saratoga
IN had said those Bubbles blown in
he Albany Journal have all the alIuring
brightness of the northern lights" or
words to that effect, we should have re-
olied by remarking that there is no pa
Der IN our exchange list whose arrival
vas hailed with such ravishing delight
IS the Sardtogia'a, and that its editors in
elect, at once massive and brilliant.
owered above its fellow as Chimborazo
overs above the humblest weed in the
owest valley, or words to that effect.
But it's too late now.-AIbany EUening
Journal