The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-01-30
Surprise Party

Pst<F MY
Ia Nortbern Vermont that peca-
liar form Of social outrage known as
surprise party, but Of late common
" called Bulgarian strocity. is still
lamentabIy frequent On a cold
evening 10 the first week ofIast month
Mr.. Sawyer aud bis family we're
seated by their social hearth enjoying
one anothcr'5 society The clergy
man was reading aloud the Bishon's
pastoral letter his wife Sas busy cal
eulating how to cut Up ner husband :
old cvercost, 50 as to supply him with
new waisIcost, bsrseli with a new
overskirt and Master SAWYER with a
pair Of towsers while that excellent
small by was reading the improving
adytn ures Of an eminent i-afe, and
wondering whether be would be able
10 emulate them. Not one of the
family was prepared TO receive visi-
tors. Mr. Sawyer had on his dress
ing gown aud slippers; Mrs Sawyer
bad let down her back hair 10 give
freedom 10 her mental process, and
Mas e. SAWYER had temporarily -liD
ped uff bi. trousers TO supply his
mother with patIern, while be wrap
ped the besrth rug about him Sud
denly and without the least warning,
more than four dozen people of all
kinds and sexes, including men,
women, reformers and theological stu
dents. burst into the room, carrying
cake aud devastation with them The
marauders conducted themselves af-
ter the usual custom of their kind
They conversed with OGc another
with great bilarity, ignoring the suf-
ferings # the clergvma and bis wife
They spread their cake upon the Ia
bic. and devouring it without plates.
scattered the crumbs over the new
carpet
One Young man laid large piece
of ielly cake on the sofa. subsequent
ly sat down on it. and Mrs. Sawyer
felt that she would gladly join the
Church of Rome on condition that
the MEDIEVAL tortures OF the lnquisi-
tion should be revived, and she her
self delegated to apply them TO that
particular young man.
Afrer having reduced the furniture
to that state of grease that it was
no longer safe to SIT down, the mis-
crean:s gathered around the piano and
sang "Wb shall the Harvest Be? ?"
until Mr.. Sawyer, mild as be was,
regretted that be could not take
sharp scytbe and reap an immediate
and bloody harvest.
While these blood curdling outre-
ges we're going on in the parlor, the
good small boy kept himself out Of
the room. He was not, however,
wasting bis time in idle rage He,
too. heard the melodious inquiries as
to the harvest, and remarked to him
self that they would find out all about
the harvest
Meanwhile be was busiiy engag-
ed in carrying pals of water and
emp,yiug them on the front step and
along the walk leading from tie front
door 70 the gate The night was cold
and the water froze rapidly Under
bis admirable management the ice
acquired an unusually smooth and
slippery character, esd when the
work was thoroughly done. the small
by retired to the se-ond story front
window and waited for the surprise
party to break up
The moon was st it's full, aud sboue
brightly when the first pair of mis-
cresnts-the young man who sat on
the jellv-cake and a heavy young
lady 10 whom be was afianced-isSu-
ed from the front door and instantly
sst down with tremendous emphasis.
Close behind them came the rest Of
the raiders, who with one accord
strewed themselves over the ground.
until in some places they were col
lecied three or four feet deep The
shrieks of the ladies, and the stronger
remarks of the men, filed the air
No sooner would q struggling wretch
regain his feet than be would sit
down again with renewed violence
The affrighted clergyman aud his
wife gszed with wonder at the appal-
ling spectacle, and the good small
boy never ceased to sing "What Shall
the Harvest Be ?" at the very top of
bis lungs-interspersiDg that stirring
hymn with a wild "whoop'i whenever
a particularly brilliant pair of stock
ings waved 10 the air.
The icy pavement was strewn with
fragments Of teeth, spee;acles coats,
trousers sud skirts, and Master Saw
yer picked up enough Of copper and
silver change the next morning to en-
allie him to buy twelve tickets to a
raffle for broken shot gun, and to
subscribe handsomely to the mission
sry fund