The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-04-20
Grace Greenwood's Men to be Saved.

| 10 save, In case an earthquake threat.
ened to engulf the national capitol:
"CallOW poiiticians from the banks
of the Wabash or the wildS of Ar
kansas feel themselves perfectly COM
petent to reOrganize departments
planned by the wisdom of such
statesmen as Hamilton and jefferson
and approved by such Executives as
Monroe, Madison, Adams, and jack
son. These attempts and plans for
the cutting down of the army pre-
paratory to cutting it up, root and
branch-measures of measureless in
gratitude and impolicy-kept out Of
sight in committee rooms most of the
time, but every now and then com
ing up to blow in one house or the
other all these things incline me. to
think that something in the retribu-
tive way must happen before long !;
that Justice and Nemesis, the Fates
and the Furies, and all the other dis
franchised, and, therefore, dangerous
female divinities must be connecting
something serious as a check to these
troublesome, tinkering gentlemen
perhaps collecting the ireful voices of
Nature for an earthquake, limited in
extent, but of The regular, thorough
going yaWning, engufing sort, to be
located Immediately under the Capt.
toi. Perhaps some morning after an
all-night SEES ion, ike the famous one
on the silver bill, we may find the
bronze female now holding up her
train over the big lantern on the
dome, alone remaining above ground
to tell the tale of the sudden sub,i-
dence of the Forty fifth Congress. If
/ the event is to come off during a
morning session, and | have an in
timation of it through a spiritual
telephone, [ think l will make a
small lunch pafty--give a select
kettle drum-n0t strickly temper
ance-and invite the "ten righteous
men" | would have saved mostly
Republicans, of course, but not all ;
/ Oh, no! First of ali | would invite
Senator Hamlin-for | would not
have it prematureIy said of him or
| his swallow trail:
Earth loses thy pattern forever and aye
] would ask MIR. Blaine, because we
were friends in the "caiciun davsn
ofour youth ;and Mr.. Howe, because
/ | have fellow feeling for him. He
/ has asthma, and the tunes of sulphur
! would distress him. | would ask
/ Anthony, because | would want him
/ to write enlOgies for Thurman ard
Voorhees,; and Morrill,, to help recon
struct the Capitol; Sargent, because
( he is Woman-sutfragist and Jones Of
| NaVada. becaUise he is the best fellow
in the word, and Burnside, because
4 he wouldn't go back On-wOuld never
desert-an old Army comrade. He
/ is the Mrs. MicaWber Of the Senate.
! NVuiN INV itC WI. w liN u, bCtduSG
he is an elegant and eloquent gentle
/ man, and Beck because he is hand
some; and Window, because he is
wholesome, bat | think | would pass
1 Bayard, because | am little tired of
his SdaS pe1o' Ct sans rcpy0cA air; and
/ COnkling, because [ have never been
introduced to him. | would ask But
Ter of South Carolina, because he
would be sure not 20 come, and But
Ter of Massachusetts, because | have
a weakness for him and Cox Of New
York, because he has weakness for
me; and Fernando Wood, because he
would give distinction TO my party,
like French Marquis of the old re-
gime; and Alexander Stephens we'll,
because he is Alexander Stephens, a
man for whom we have all a lurking
tenderness and Cox, of Ohio, for his
elegant scholarship and Old fashioned
integrity, and James Monroe worthy
of the name, and pleasant "TOm
Bayne,' and Hilary Herbert most
genial of Democrats and Potter, of
course, and Davis Of California-but,
on reflection, not Garfield. He and
Mr.. Stanley Matthews and all the
other blessed cOncililtOr- are prppar-
ed to go. | would try 20 have our
Bacon, and Hooper, principally for
his wile'S sake, and | would suggest
to MI. Randall, principally for his
own sake, to put Springer in the
chair and come along too. ] would
certainly invite Mr.. Sp0lford, our
wonderful Librarian, but that ] be.
lieve he would prefer to go down
with his books: | should Ike to in
clude a few more of our boys, but
have already exceeded my limit and
campagne lis costly necessity. !
think, on the whole, if those | have
mentioned come to my kettledrun
the earthquake may procc ed.
1t remained for the Massachusetts
Legislature to invent new plan to
keep people out of drinking saloons.