The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-11-14
BIJAH'S ELIXIR.
The Old Mans Recipe for Tanning a Small
Boy.

the station.
They we're mother and son. ,rsr,..-
The boy looked serious and the moth
er was doing great deal of talking. She
said she'd heard that they had opened
a museum at the station, and she asked
John Henry if he'd like to 20 and see
the animals.
Spose they've got any snakesi" he
asked.
"Lots of EN-"
"And baboons?"
More'n dozen. o.
"And stuffed bridegrooms 2"
4" Yes, heaps of 'em. ~ ,e-.i
Tue boy had his suspicious, but Curl
osity overcame them, and he finally
consented to 60 in. As he entered the
parlor the mother winked at Bijah over
his head, whispered the one word
elixir and she was gone before John
Heniy could realize the situation.
I" am glad to see you, my boy" re-
marked Biiah, by way Of breaking the
ice. ...i j
"Where's them balloons ?" demanded
the boy, as he looked around.
"My son, the way of the transgressor
|
book says so or not.
Where's that stuffed bridegroom p
shouted the boy. ..-..
He has gone out for walk in the
mellow sunlight, Johnny, but come up
stairs and Ill show you the elixir"
You can't fool me T.
"There is no fooling about this. On
the contrary, this is very solemn occa-
sion. Come on"
The boy suspected the worst, and
making dive to get under the table he
upset it and came near getting out
doors. He was finally secured and ele-
waited to the second story, the door lock-
ed, and as he was placed in the big chair
labeled, Meditation he had made up
his mind to die in the last ditch.
Your mother didn't have time to ex-
plain your conduct nor detail your his
tory" remarked Bijah in afatherly tone,
but think she wants the elixir ap-
piled ON general principles. y
Murderl" shouted the boy as he
tried to get out of the chair. aF
&C. should like to sit here and study
your disposition" mused Biiah, "but
times flies, and I'm leetle bit anxious
to try this new spanker."
Don't you dare |" shouted the boy,
having dim idea of what was coming.
"You observe, my son, that 1 fasten
this sheet-iron pad around my left leg as
protection. If you feel like biting,
bite away. Then 1 place the elixir
handy, bring you out of the chair, SO,
bend you over in this shape, and now
we are ready for business. Let me re.
mark at this stage Of the proceedings
that my heart aches for you"
NAV NAV !" screamed John Henry.
"Your dear nav is far, far away, my
son, and am now ready for business.
Here go %
He went. The sound of shingle
striking boy was heard in the land
1t was also felt in the land; but from
the first stroke the boy shut his teeth
together hard and refused 10 utter 6
sound. He had been there before, and
he didn't believe it was going to be much
of shower.
With a steady, even motion,
Like the roll OF mother ocean,
And with no undue commotion,
The spanker fell.
81 hate to do it, butt" remarked
Biiah, as he worked his elbow with more
zeal, and the silence was broken only by
the deep-toned whacl1s of the shingle.
It was shingle vs. boy, and the boy had
bet ten to one that he would come in
ahead. After two minutes steady mo.
tion Biiah let up and kindly inquired
"My son, do you now feel as if you
| owned this town ?"
81 feel as I'm mind to!" was the
brief reply.
"What! haven't got down to you,
feelings yitl Jist wait minute ,"
The lad was adjusted and the elixil
again applied. The arm rose higher
and came down faster, and at the fifth
stroke new stratum of soil was reach.
ed. AT the tenth the boy wasn't sure
which would beat. At the fifteenth he
concluded that he was goner, but just
then Bijah halted and asked
"My son, do you think you run The
house?"
81 kin run half of it," replied the
lad, suddenly taking courage.
Am I growing weak in my old age p
sighed the ianitor, as he reached for 9
new spanker, "or is this an unusua
case ?"
It was simply an unusual case. The
new spanker started off like dose O
buckshot and had only got the regular
motion when the boy gave in. Before thu
shingle let go he was ready to do any
thing. He took the most solemn vow
to stay in nights, quit fighting and earr
money for his mother, and as proof o
his firm desire to reform, he took
tablespoonful Of castor oil without
vince.
"Don't you shudder when you real
ize what narrer escape you've ha,
from the gallus?" queried Biiah, as h
wiped off the spoon on lis elbow.
81 do and L shall always love you.
"One day longer and you might hav
turned ont pirate. 1 tell you, boy,
shingle of the right size, will put me-
and better thoughts into boys min
as sure's you're born. You can't mer
tion a single great man in this countr
who didn't get a regular dose of th
elixir when a boy. You can now 81
with me down stairs and learn lesso
in history while darn my socks"
When the mother came softly in,
look of maternal anxiety on her counte
nance, Bijah was pushing a darnine
needle threaded with pink twine throug
an Sx10 hole in the heel of sky-blu
woolen sock, and the boy was readin
aloud
"Is the hen on her nest Yes, tn
hen is on her nest. Is the sun up? YET
the sun is up, and no good boy wi
laugh at man who is blind"