The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1878-08-31

lJullpt sp'hS 'hv' NY ocul' "iu JO'' "'''N'N"
with all my might.
"GO II, my Rube!
Every blamed man, woman, and child IN
the house rIz on me, and shouted, Put him out.
put him"
Put your grcaterandmothcrs grizzly grey
grccnsh cat into The middle of next month"
says Tech me { you, dare, paid my
money, and you jest came a-nigh lne.
with that, some several policemen run up,
and had to simmer down. But ! would II
fit any fool that laid hands on me, for ! was
bound to hear Ruby out or die,
He had changed his tune agin' He hopt-
light ladies and tip.tocd fine from cend To
cend of the Keyboard. He played soft, and
low, and solemn l heard the church bells oy-
cr the hills. The candles in heaven was lit,
one by one; saw the stars rise. The great
organ of eternity began to play from the worlds
end to the worlds end, and all the angels went
to prayers. lheh
the music changed 20 water full Of feeling that
couldn't be thought, and began To drop-drip,
drop. drip, drOp-Clcar and sweet, like tears OF
10y iallln' into lake Of glory. II was swecer
than that. II was as sweet as Il sweetheart
sweetcn'd with white sugar MKT with powder
ed silver and seed diamonds. 1t was too sweet,
II tell you the audience checred Rubin he
kinder bowed like he wanted TO say, Much
obleeged, but I'd rather you wouldn't inter
rup' me-
"He stopt minute or two to fetch breath.
Then he got mad. lIcrun his fingers through
his hair, he showed up his sleeve, he opened
his coat.tals lcetlc further, he drug up his
stool, he leaned over and, sir, he just went tor
that old pianncr He slapt her face, he boxed
her jaws, he pulled her nose, he pinchcd her
ears, and he scratched her cheeks till she fairly
Yelled lie knock her down, and he stompt
on her shameful She beloved like bull,
she bleated like calf she howled like hound,
she squealed like n pig she shrieked like rat,
and then he wouldn't let her up lie run n
quarter stretch down the low grounds of the
base. till he got clean into the bowels of the
earth, and you heard thunder gallopng after
thunder, thro' the hollows and caves Of perdi-
ton; and then he tox.chased his right hand
with his left till he got away out OF the treble
into the clouds, whar the notes was finer than
the pints of cambria needles, and you couldn't
hear nothin' but the shadders Of EN-. And
then he wouldn't let the old pianncr 60, He
for'ard two'd, he crost over first gentleman, he
crost over first lady, he balanced to pards, he
chassadc right and lett, back to your places, he
all hands'd aroun', ladies to the right, promcn-
ade all, in and out, here and there, back and
forth, up and down, perpetual motion, double
and twisted and turned and tackled and tangleo
into forty.'lcvcn thousand double bow knots
"By jings, it was miytery. And then he
wouldn't let the old pianncr go. He tccht up
his right wing, lie tccht up his left wing, he
tccht up his center, ne fecht up his reserves.
| He fired by file, he fired by platoons, by com
pany, by regiments, and by brgadcs. He OPP,
encd his cannon, siege guns down thar Napo'
Icons here, twclve.p FOUNDERS yonder, big guns,
| little guns, midd!c.sizcd guns round shot,
shells, Shrapncls, grape, canister mortars,
mines and magazines, every Twin battery ana
| bomb a-gOn' at The same time. The house
trcmbcd the lights danced, the walls shul<,
the floor come up, the ccilm' come down, the
sky split it grew dark, the ground rockt-
heavens and earth creation, sweet potatoes
Moses, ninepences, glory, tenpenny nails, my
Mary Ann, hallclujah, Samson in slmmon
tree, Jcrossal'm lump Thompson in n tum
| blercart Oodlc-Oodle-oOlle-oO OOdlc OOdle
ruddleuddle .uddlc-uddle, raddle-addleaddle
adllc,-riddlcddl c.iddlc-rcctlc. cctle-cct
lc.cttlc-p.r-rr.rrrlang per lang per lang
pr.rrr-rlang! BANG!
"Wth that baHg' he liied hisself bodily into
| the air and he come down with his knees, his
ten fingers, his ten toes, his elbows, and his
nose, striking every single solitary key on that
pianncr at the same time. The thing busted
land went off into seventeen hundred and fifty
seven thousand five hundred and forty.two
lhcmidemi-quivers and | know'd no mo-.
when | come to- | were under ground
about twenty foot, in n place they call Oyster
Bay, trcatn' Yankee that meyer laid eyes
ON before, and never expect agin' Day was
breakln' by the time rot to the ST. Nichola,
Hotel, and | pledge you my word didn't
know my name. The man asked me the mum
Der of my ROOM and | told him, IIot music
IN the hdfshoH fer t,coi' pintcdly did"