Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-11-06
The HaSElery,

Full OF lnterest-A long note over
due.
Sound inycstment-Buy tele-
phone.
Education in Cypras-A-Greek-cul
ture.
An exchange remarks that "Solo-
mon, III all his glory, was not raid
like one of these Mexican raids"
1t isn't always the man who ham,
mers hardest on his pulpit desk that
most firmly rivets the attention of his
| hearers.
What's that for?' asked the sick
little boy to whom the doctor gave an
emetic. Give it up" said the jovial
doctor.
Probably the mild-eyed goat is the
only animal ever invented that can eat
twenty-four hours a day, and then get
up an hour before day and devour q
flour barrel and seven old fruit cans for
lunch. -Noristoau7s Herald
Hood, in describing the meeting of
a man and a lion, said: "The man ran
off with ali his might, and the lion
with all his NAME"
Any father who would go out and
put tar on top of his front gate after
dark must be lost to all sense of hui
mainly and ordinary responsibility.
1t is al interesting sight to watch a
young lady in Sunday school endeavor-
ing to instruct class of little girls, while
her own mind is centered upon a class
of big boys.
In the make up Of the modern small
boy there is altogether too much
whistle for the amount Of boy It is
most too much like using a two-quart
| funnel in three-Ounce vial
A poem commences, "Under the will
lows he's lying" He must be a tramp.
They lie under all sorts of trees. One
was discovered lying under an axle-tree
the other morning. The owner of the
wagon made MIN wheel-wright around
AMI leave.-NorristoUn Herald.
AS good joke on the inland secreta-
ry of the navy, the papers are telling
that, when he was inspecting war ship
at the Philadelphia navy yard, it was
| thought proper to show him the depth
of the vessel by removing one of the
matches; when, to the establishment of
all present, he exclaimed: "Why, the
old thing IS hollow"
"You want to break on this road, do
you? Well, you can sit down there. We
have no vacancy just at present; but we
kill about two breakemen a day, and |
dare say in few minutes / shall hear
of some one losing an arm or leg, and
| l,
thought he would mot wait
"And then she looked at me so low
ingly, and | drew her close to luy bos-
ON, and was just kissing her for the
second time when the vision broke and
| paid the dentist and left. at was his
first experience with nitrous oxld gas"
When a country editor, who is strug-
Cling along trying to rear large family
and build up town on an income of
$500 year, discovers that a baseball
pitcher hauls in $4,000 for the season, it
makes him sit down on the roller-box
and think Cincinnati Breakfast Table.
There seems to be altogether too
much fuss about this church-debt
raising Kimball. Who couldn't raise a
debt? Give somebody else chance.
That's all, you know; but then, alas!
some of us never get that chance. Yes,
base is the slave that pays. We feel
it, it's our misfortune.
"Ah me-" sighed rising young gent
us throwing down his pen and leaning
back YEARLY, "you don't know how
much pleasanter and easier it is to read
these little poems of mine, than it is to
write them" Sympathetic but awk-
ward friend. Cad, how you must suffer,
thenr-Haacheye. .........l
| 1t lis about time, young man, for you
to withdraw from society and become a
nun for the next three months, or else
save up every last nickel you can earn
and borrow for Christmas presents.
This advice, it may seem to you, is a
trihe early, but you just think Of it
Christmas eve. and you will wish you
had commenced about the fourth of
July. .....a .....
A gentleman recently invited a lee
turer to his home to take tea. Inn
mediatel y on being seated at the table
little daughter of the gentleman said
to the guest, quite abruptly -" Where is
your wife," The gentleman, having
recently been separated from the part
ner of his life, was surprised and an
moved at the question, and stammered
forth the truth, II don't know"
"Don't know" replied the infant ter
rible. "Why don't you know?' Find
ing that the child persisted in her in
terrogations despite the mild reproof of
her parents, he concluded to make a
clean breast of the matter, and have it
over at once. So he said, with calm
ness: "Well, we don't live together.
We think as we can't agree, we'd better
not" He stifed groan as the child
began again, and darted an exasperated
look at the parents. But the little tor
ment would not be quoted until she
exclaimed: "Can't agree! Then why
not fight it out as pa and ma do.''
A young man VINO had been expected
for some time to PROPOSE" but whose
difidence had kept him back, was
astonished by his father saying to him,
as he set off for his sweetheart's resi-