The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-10-17
THE CAUCASUS.
Humer Of the Mountaineers-Their witty
and Ingenious stories.

Humor Of the Mountaineers-Their witty
and Ingenious Stories.
A writer in Lippincotfs Magazine
gives number of anecdotes current
among the people of Caucasus, in West
ern Asia. These stories show the hardy
mountaineers to possess considerable
wit and keen sense of humor. We
quote
THE BIG TURNIP.
Two men were once walking together
and talking. One said: "My father
raised such an enormous turnip once
that he used the top Of it to thresh
wheat upon, and when it was ripe had
to dig it out of the ground" "My
father, said the other, "ordered such
an enormous kettle made once that the
forty workmen who made it all had
room to sit on the inside and work at the
same time, and they were a year in
finishing it." eyes," said the first,
"but what did your father want such
big kettle for p "Probably to boil
your fathers turnip in" was the reply.
NAzR-RDDN's oNE-LEaaEp GOOSE.
The mullah Nazr-Eddin was once
carrying to the khan as gift roasted
goose. Becoming hungry on the road
he pulled off one Of the goose's legs and
ate it. "Where is the other leg ?" in
quired the khan when the goose was
presented. "Our geese have only one
leg," answered mullah. Chow 80 ?"
demanded the khan. eff you don't be-
lieve it, look there" said the mullah,
pointing to a flock of geese which had
just come out of the water, and were all
standing on one leg. The khan threw
a stick at them and they all ran away.
"There |" exclaimed the khan, "they
all have two legs" That's not sur
prising," said the mullah eff some-
body should throw such club as that
at you, you might get four legs" The
khan gave the mullah q new coat and
sent him home.
WHY BLIND MEN SHOULD CARRY LAM
TERMS AT NIGHT.
A blind man in Khoota (an East Cau
casian village) came back from the river
one night bringing pitcher of water and
carrying in one hand a lighted lantern.
Some one, meeting him, said: "You're
blind it's all the same to you whether
it's day or night. Of what use to you is
lantern 2" ~ don't carry the Ian
tern in order to see the road," replied
the blind man, "but to keep some fool
like you from running against me and
breaking the pitcher"
THE WOMAN WHO WAS AFRAID OF BEING
KISSED.
A man was once walking along one road,
and woman along another. The roads
finally united, and the man and woman,
reaching the junction at the same time,
walked on from there together. The
man was carrying large iron kettle
ON his back; in one hand he held by
the legs a live chicken, in the other
cane; and he was leading a goat. Just
as they were coming to a deep dark
ravine, the woman said to the man, 81
am afraid to go through that ravine with
you; it is lonely place, and you might
overpower me and kiss be by force"
If you were afraid of that. said the
man, "you shouldn't have walked with
me at all; how can I possibly over.
power you and kiss you by force when I
have this great iron kettle on my back,
a cane in one hand and live chicken in
the other, and am leading this goat? I
might as we'll be tied hand and foot"
" Yes" replied the woman, "but if you
should stick your cane into the ground
and tic the goat to it, and turn the kettle
bottom side up, and put the chicken
under it, then you might wickedly kiss
me in spite of my resistance" "Suc-
cess to thy ingenuity, O woman I" said
the rejoicing man to himself. 81 should
never have thought of such expedients. I"
And when they came to the ravine he
stuck his cane into the ground and tied
the goat to it, gave the chicken to the
woman, saying, "Hold it while I cut
some grass for the goat" and then, low
ering the kettle from his shoulders, i'm
prisoned the fowl under it, and wickedly
kissed the woman as she was afraid he
would.
1t would be easy to multiply illustra-
tions of Caucasian wit and humor, but
the above anecdotes are fairly represen-
tative, and must suffice. 1 will close
this paper with specimen of mountain
satire-"The Stingy Mullah."
THE sTINGY MULLAH.
The mullah of certain village, who
was noted for his avarice and stinginess,
happened one day in crossing narrow
bridge to fall into the river. As he
could not swim, he sank for a moment
out of sight, and then coming to the
surface foated down the stream, strug-
Cling and yelling for help. A passer-by
ran to the bank, and stretching out his
arm shouted to the mullah, "Give me
your hand give me your hand!" but
the mullah thrust both hands as far as
possible under water and continued to
yell. Another man, who knew the null
lab better, ran to the bank lower down
and leaning over the water cried to him.
" Here take my hand take my hand !"
And the mullah, grasping it eagerly,
was drawn out of the river. He was