The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-01-26
VARIETIES.

"A needle ring-The sewing circle.
A shrewd fellow-A henpecked hus-
band.
Short of change-The man with bun
one shirt
The Mormon Church encourages
dancing.
Rats, in Kansas, kill a good many
small pigs.
There is no law against opening a
postal-card.
The piclpocket's motto-T'll do it
while my hands in.
domestic gardening for all the year
round-Sew buttons.
The Yankee clock now ticks in the
households of China.
.. Young man, if you want to cutter
fellow out, sleigh the girl.
-Eighty-three murderers, all men,
We're hangedin the United States in 1877.
"A pocket-book, cigar-case and re-
volver are the latest patent combina-
ton.
The years will go on; but we shall
never be able to say that time is no
mower.
"A Hopkins County Wy.) couple
married Thursday and separated the
next Monday.
What salve has the best effect on
chapped lips? Lips-have, of course
d PhiJadelphia Bulletin.
- How's your husband this evening,
Mrs. Quaggs?" "No improvement,
doctor, one way or the other.'
"A Providence woman whipped, a
saucy tramp with an old arctic SHOE She
played the rubber, and won.
The physicians say that promiscu-
Gus kissing spreads disease. Heart
troubles especially, eh?-THrner'S Falls
Reporter.
sc Save the potato-peelings for the
pigs was the injunction of an Ohio
mother as her daughter set out on her
bridal tour.
The idea that a female must look
pale to look lady-like has no more sense
than one that men must look black to
look genteel.
Whittier composes while he whites
sticks. Strange coincidence. Chicago
bankers compose while they cut sticks.
N. Y. Herald.
"A six-years-old boy plunged into
the river at Rochester, Mimi, the Other
day, and saved his three-years-ol sister
from drowning.
Ladies who have a broad aisle on
the top of their heads will be glad to
learn that false hair has never been SO
low priced as at the present time.
The ladies are all opposed to the
telephone. They don't care to have 8
with his mouth twenty miles away.
The woman who can't sit up in bed
at midnight and imagine that the creak
of blind is the labored breathing of a
robber under the bed must be a very
eccentric person.
And so Love is blind, is it? Wait a
minute. Did you ever hear of woman
going crazy about man who had his
ear-muffs on the first time she saw him
-BreaktGst Table.
There is "style'' among the ladies
of Alaska as well as anywhere else.
They grease their noses with q mixture
of oil and coal-dust, and the blacker the
nose the more stylish it is.
The time will come when every man
can receive the election returns by tele-
graph to his own bedroom. The OPP
portunities of the married men are be-
ing narrowed down every year.
We read that number of Cana
dams have started a village which they
call Gold. In few days we shall
probably hear of several Chicago bank
Presidents digging for Gold.-M Y.
Herald.
"A New Hampshire father refused
to let his daughter have beau She
slyly reported that he stole sheep, had
her young man 90 his bail pending trial,
and in this way brought about happy
marriage.
"A Hohokus man who has become
the father Of twins says that he wishes
to preserve the double standard. N.
Y. Herald. 1t isn't likely that anybody
will want to take them at their par
value. Worcester Press.
Little Tommy Jones, of Evansville,
Ind, didn't believe the pistol was
loaded, but little Philip Pfstner will
hereafter gaze upon the beauties of this
WOllu Will DuU Onc StucSc dll Ine same.
Indianapolis NeI0S.
A Pennsylvania boy gained holi-
day for the whole school by dropping
his rubbers down the heater, and ever
since he has been enraged at himself
for not economizing and dropping them
one at q time.
The Boston Board of Health has
decided that diphtheria is ga disease
dangerous to public health within the
meaning of the law, and it requires
physicians to report all cases occurring
in their practice.
-Six-years-old Nellie lives in Indian
apolis, and went with the family to
Senator Morton's funeral. On the way
home her feelings found vent: "Oh, it
was grand! But, mamma, I'm so sorry
l wasn't at George Washington's fu-
neralr'
The Georgia farmer who has car
ried off the palm this year is Mr.. James
II. Booker. He raised sixty bales of
cotton, 1920 bushels of corn, 800 of
potatoes, 1000 of oats and wheat, and
twenty-five hogs. The newspapers