West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-08-17
WAITS AND WHIMS.

n RISING man -lhc DallOOnlSt.
EARLY to hcl aud early TO risc
VIII save you eomc trouble from hungry flies.
GREEN pears Young married
folks.
WORDS once spoken can never be re-
called.
The flower for young fathers-The
poppy
KEEP your own counsel; you will be
the gamer.
APPEARANCES are dcceiving; Judge
not hastily.
"A CIRCULAR saw Going round to
see the sights.
THE winter of discomfort is the coldest
of all winters.
THE phonograph is an invention that
speaks for itself.
You can not set the river on fire with
II rowing match.
ADVICE TO boatmen through the warm
scason-Give DER.
The only people who really enjoy bad
health are the doctors
THE longest and darkest OF all nights,
is the night of despair.
In talking or writing, let your words
be few, but well chosen.
AN ordinary gas flame requires as
much air as nine persons.
"a MILK punch Hitting the cow
to make her stand around.
NEVER write when in anger: your
writings may condemn you.
He who loses his temper in an argu-
ment, loses the argument also.
THE business of baking and tanning
began with the first July sun.
A BoARD-YARD differs in several essen
tial respects from yard of board.
The wool clip of 1873 is about three
per cent. greater than that of 1877.
THE barber dyes n thousand times,
while another dies but once yet he is
far from grave.
A LADY in Huntington has discovered
that aqua ammonia is almost an instan-
taneOus cure for scalds.
You might, no doubt, commune with
much wiser persons than yourself, but
with none more prOlitably.
TO vex another is TO teach him to vex
us again; and even an ant can sting,
and fly trouble our patience.
IT would be we'll if we had less medi-
cine aud more cures less cant and more
piety; less law and more justice.
MANY who would not for the world
utter ialsehoOd, are yet constantly
scheming to produce false impressions.
MAN regrets in after life the follies of
early youth and drinks at leisure the
cup of bitterness, filled in haste when
young.
SIX Spanish newspapers have been
prosecuted for circulating reports that
the late queen came 10 her death through
poison.
ONE Of the severest punishments in
hicted upon criminals in Holland, up TO
few years since, was 10 deprive them
Of salt
"THE sun takes eighteen million
years TO roll round its orbit" We
don't believeit, unless Susan y. Anthony
says 80.
A MAN stepped on a banana-peel and
promptly sat down on a pint bottle Of
yeast in his pocket. lie rose imme-
diately.
WEsTMoRELAED il the smallest county
in Virginia, but il was the birthplace Of
three Washington, Madison
and Monroe.
ST. LOUIS is about the only Western
city that hasn't had the colossal cheek
this year TO claim that il is desirable
summer resort.
The light Of lightning, and the re-
Elections, will penetrate through n dis
tance OF from one hundred and fifty to
two hundred miles.
IT is proposed 10 reclaim the desert
lands Of western Utah with artesian
wells which yield water very abundantly
from moderate depths.
PRoFUsION Of civility is almost as
Objectionable as n scant measure Of 1T.
/ The one is the manners of n dancing
master, the others Of a clown.
A CALEDONIA man named Judson
found a mans finger pressed i'm a plug
Of tobacco he was chewing. The dis
covery cured him Of chewing tobacco.
THE trouble with the fly is i'm the fact
that he doesn't know when 10 let upon q
good thing, and he thus eventually
seeks 10 carry off both butter and dish.
A CONDUCTOR on a New York railroad
/ held his train the other night waiting
/ for q supposed passenger that turned
| out 10 be q scarecrOw in neighboring
! field.
a COMPANY has been formed at
/ Olympia, Wyoming Territory to bring
ice from a glacier in the mountains,
which is supposed TO contain 100000
| or more tons.
wOMAN's CURIOSITY.
II there's anything that worries a woman,
/ It's something she ought not 70 know,
But you bet she'll end ID out somehow
~ she gets the least kind Of a show,
| Now well wager ten cents TO r. farthing
| This poem she has already read
| We know she'd got af ff anrnohou