davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-09-03
Dedicated to the Resolutes.

The boy stood squarely on the base
Already two were out
The grin that lighted up his face
Shone round about his snout.
The boy, he raised the ash aloft
And called for one hip high,
The pitcher put II In red-hot-
He caught 1t In his eye.
Again the gallant youth stood up,
Determined he would score
The next one hit him in the punch
He playeth ball no more.
am Mrs. jerks with steel-gray eye
With limbs of the law am more than fly,
nip the tricky, bamboozle the sly;
Pm no raw recruit In the army.
1 teach the witness how to prance,
Retreat, advance
With mocklng glance,
With plomb shiver the legal lance,
Hurrah for the high jerks party.
For Pm Mrs. jerks with q chin that's firm
1 make the luminous lawyer squirm;
He should go to school for another term,
Then enlist five years in the army.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-09-03

eI-A Hartford man went home to
dinner, and saw part of the washing
still left in the tubs. Hurrying to the
yard he saw his wife braced against the
fence, holding to the end of broken
clothes line to keep the newly-washed
garments from the ground. "Here I've
been holding this line for over an hour,
sir" she snapped. "But why didn't
you call some one? he inquired. "There's
that new family next door-the woman
would have come over in one minute.'
But the wife said: woman next door,
you big idiot, you'll Hasn't she been
peeking around for two weeks to see my
wash, and dye think I'd give her
chance to find out whether the sleeves of
my nightgown were pieced down with
unbleached cottonp You don't know
anything, sir, and you make tracks for
piece of rope, SIR"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-09-03

g3"Fellow-citizens," said stump
orator, "we have the best country in
the world, and the best Government.
No persons on the face of the globe en-
joy more privileges than we do. Here
we have the liberty of speech and liber-
ty of press, without onerous despotism.
What, fellow citizens, is more desirable
than this? Do you want anything
more, my countrymen?" ''Yes, sir-ee,"
said one of his hearers, 81 want a suck
out of that flask sticking out of your
coat-pocket behind"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-09-03

ca Here is the worst pun we have
seen in six months: In Alabama they
chew the tassels of the fir-trees as sub
stitute for tobacco, which reminds us of
the adage, "Be fir-chewers and you'll be
happy"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-09-03
EA widower had five grown daugl

fTA widower had five grown daugh-
ters who wouldn't let him take a second
wife. He gave up the wife, but bought
a savage dog, and now won't allow q
man to cross his door-sill. If he can't
marry, the girls shan't, he says. But
the girls will give in by-and-by. They
can't stand that sort of thing forever.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-09-03
American and Foreign Patents.

GILMORE & CO.. Successors to CHAPMAN,
" HOSMER & CO., Solicitors. Patents pro-
cured nall countries. NO FEES IN ADVANCE.
No charge unless the patent is granted. No fees
tional fees for obtaining and conducting re-
nearing. By recent decision OF the Commits
soner, ALL rejected applications may be revived.
Special attention given to Interference Gases be-
fore the Patent office, Extensions before Con-
gress, Infringement Suits i'm different States, and
all litigation appertaining to Inventions or Pat
ents send Stamp to Gilmore Co., for pamph-
LAND CASES, LAND WARRANTS l. SCRIP.
Contested Land Cases prosecuted before the u.
s. General Land Office and Department of the
Interior Private Land Claims, MINING and
PRE- EMPTION Claims, and HOMESTEAD ID cases
attended to. Land Scrip in 40, so, any l60 acre
pieces for sale, This Scripts assignable, and can
De located IN the name the purchaser upon any
sL25 per acre. 1t is of equal value with Bounty
Land Warrants Send Stamp to Gilmore 4 Co.
for pamphlet OF instruction.
ARREARS OF PAY AND BOUNTY
OFFICERS, SOLDIERS and SAILORS OF the
late war; their heirs, are in many cases entitled
to money from the Government OF which they
have no knowledge. Write full history of service
Enclose stamp to GILMORE 4 CO., and a full re.
ply, after examination, Will be given you free.
PEN NSIONS.
All OFFICERS, SOLDIERS, and SAILORS,
wounded, ruptured, or injured in the late war,
however slight. can obtain pensOn by addressing
Gases prosecuted by GILMORE & CO., before
of Claims and the Southern Claims Commission.
Each department Of our business Is conducted
In aseparate bureau, under charge OF the same
experienced parties employed by the old firm
GILMORE y CO., Is thus secured. We desire to
Address GILMORE SEQ,
$50 II. Street,
WaahinOton n n
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-09-03

EYrWe met q farmer a day or two
ago who was so hard pushed that he
was on his way to pawn his hoe. We
told him we were sorry to see his case SO
hopeless. Hopeless he exclaimed;
"far from it'll You know the old motto,
"hoe-pawn, hope ever"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-09-03

sg Why didn't you come home from
school earlier ?" asked Florida woman
and her little boy answered:
"Well that little mig, Cicero White,
he had a norange, and cause he gin it to
me when L sot onto him, he told the
school-mum I'd intimerdated' him,
so kept me in and just bulldozed' me
good ~
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-09-03
The Difference.

The foolish man saith unto the world
and the people thereof, 'Lo, I am can
didate," but the sharp politician dissem-
bleth within himself and declareth unto
the folk, "Lo, now, L am in the hands
of my friends"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-09-03

By"I wish you had been Eve" said
an urchin to a stingy aunt, proverbial
for her meanness. "Why SOP" "Be-
cause" said he, 'you would have eaten
all the apple instead of dividing it,"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-09-03

eB-"What is the national air of this
countryp" asked foreigner in Wash
ington. -"That's the national lair" re-
piled a native, pointing to the Capitol,
'but the animals are all out in the jun
gle just now, chasing voters"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-09-03

&EG week In your own town. S5 Outfit free
WV No risk. Reader, II you want business
at which persons OF either sex can make great
pay all the time they work, write for full particu-
lars to H. HALLETT ~ co., Portland, Me-, ,sl 1y
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-09-03

DRINTING of every description neatly ex-
4 ecuted at the Bloomfield Times Office at
reasonable rates.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-09-03

ca When loafer enters the sanctum
of a busy editor, and the editor says,
"Glad to see you're back" what does he
mean?
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-09-03

Ca" The proper time for girl to mar
ry is after she has counted her cash and
found that she can support herself in
case her husband turns politician.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1878-02-17

Perhaps they SEQ that she is vain. and so
enjoy hattering her But even If she Is
pretty and Is conscious Of her good looks she
goes far to destroy the effect of he1 beauty.
The great charm in young girl is uncon-
sciousness, and no form or color Of face can
make up for that when 1t IS lacking. A vain
and silly girl Of fifteen Is disliked by all peo-
pie OF good sense, no matter how pretty
she Is.
We trust, however, that her friends are
wrong In calling Miss ST. CLAIR very vain,
and that She only deemed 1t necessary to
tell us in confidence about her good looks,
rs the knowledge Of them might assist ~ in
advising her Let her talk about other
peoples beauty If she likes, in her ordinary
Intercourse, but give no thought to her own;
and II any one tells her she IS pretty. let her
gently make him understand that the SUBJ
jcct is one She does not wish 70 pursue. We
trust WE have said nothing which will prove
offensive TO Miss ST. CLAIR, for a pretty
school girl of fifteen ought to be- happy, and
we should dislike to rullie the peace Of any
one.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1878-02-17
Not n Party Question.

Tho members Of the Legislature from this
city and BROOKLYN always come down 10
spend their Sundays at home, and Of course
thry all read the Sunday SrS; 90 we will
seize the opportunity Of their presence to say
word to them on appOrtionrncnt.
We have often demonstrated thnt New
York II entitled to twcuty-six members Of
the Assembly. and Kings to thirteen. with q
surplus population between them large
enough to give one OF tho other Of them an
othcr member, making total Of forty. New
York Ia represented In the present Assembly
by nineteen regular and independent Demo-
Gratis. aud two Republicans; and Kings by
seven Democrats and two Republicans.
To fairly apportiOn the State and give to
New York and Kings tho number Of ASSEM-
blynen u which they are entitled Is not a
party question; aud not one of the present
Asscniblyincn from our two cities will be ex-
cuscd for not doing his utmost to secure for
the constituents what belongs to them.
AsroR and HAYES. the two Republicans
from this citv, and WAXING and WORTH, the
Two Republicans from Brooklyn, must not
join OF aid any conspiracyto cheat their own
people for the benefit Of the Republicans Of
rural districts
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1878-02-17
Congress aud Hayes Mexican Policy.

Signs multiply that HAYEs's Mexican In
triguc will soon be formally exposed, con-
dcmncl. and broken up by Congress. As
first step he will probably be called upon 10
recognize President DINz. with u view TO
substituting treaty negotiation with the
sister republic for invasion. menace and
pluudcr. Gen. DiAz. o de facio President,
contrasts with HAYES alike in the simplicity
Of his official life, little bcset with toades
and satraps, and in the frankncss with
which he puts his title 10 higher than the
right of revolution, ratified and sustained
by the later voice and vote ot the people.
His leaning toward the people OF the United
States is'univcrsally known. as also is that
oi Sen1r RUNnsRo the Minister OF Finance,
long resident here. while :, nor NALLARTr,
the Foreign Minister, bae gone to the far
thest verge Of treutv concession.
In return. the policy Of HAYES toward
Mexico has been not that ~ n statesman.
but Of a highwa wharf.-the policy OF the
freebooter and niiOu-ter Mr.. EvABrs, on
his part, has been recruiting, with the zeal
of an attorney. reasons Tor not recognizing
the Mexican Government, though the inter
est of both countries Is for recognition. He
demands, as a rider 10 an improved eXtradI-
ton treaty. that American residents In
Mexico shall bc exempt from forced loans.
and Unidentified for loans lcvlcd on them in
the past. II is true that these pres'amos
are unlawful, but not moro 50 for Americans
than for Mcyicans. III July. lo76 President
LrHDo levied general property tax Of one
per cent, claiming 10 net in virtue " un-
usual powers given him by Congress under
the twenty-ninih article OF the Constitution.
and IN view of q dangerous revolution which
Threatened 10 overthrow and did overthrow
the Government In July, 1871. the Mexican
supreme Court held that tbs tax was un-
constitutional. that taXin. was u legislative
act, that Congress alone had legislative
power. and could not delegate ii. and that
relief and indemnity must be- granted to the
claimant.
But securing protection under this de-
'cision against unconstitutional taxes is
quite Il different thing from demanding it
By treaty. Unjust taxes are no more bind
ing upon American residents than upon
Mexican citizens; but wha; Mr.. EvARrs de-
manls is q foreign Interference in Mexican
internal affairs such MS We here, in our own
case, would not brook his claim is Of
It''' VAN NH' 'st4rif NiliN Jul Ni'vpti7 SUI II
have full right to invade the territory Of the
sister republic
With qulrk- and quiddits over Irrelevant
and proposterous adGenda to the extradi-
tion treaty originally proposed, the State
Department has managed to keep open the
border troubles for the greater part " IA
year Il is nov quite time Tor Congress to
pat an end to this shameful and dangerous
business. Il it shall adjourn without doing
so, HAYES will resume his raids. aud set in
motion again his plots Tor protectOrates and
intriGues Tor annexation.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1878-02-17
The Appointment of Judge Dlatcbford.

The appointment Of the Hon. SAMUEL
BLATcHFoRD to succeed tho Hon. ALrxAN-
DER S. JOHNSON, as Circuit Judge for this
circuit, was the very best appointment that
rould have been made. With three impor-
tant branches Of the law coming most fire.
qucntly under his neutrality-suspicious..
bankruptcy. and admiralty--few lawyers. If
any, are 50 familiar. Nor Is this all. or the
most that can ho said of Judge BLATcH-
FORD. His integrity is unouestiyncd. His
knowledge of personal rights and OF the con-
stitutional provisions for their protection.
and his fearlcssncss in the performance OF
duty have given him very high rank upon
the bench. His name is indssolublv asso-
ciatcd with the defence and preservation Of
The right Of trial by jury.
We happen to know that II tho late Mr.
Justi'e NELSON had had the selection OF his
own successor as Circuit Judge. his choice
would have fallen upon Judge BLATcHFoRD.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1878-02-17
4 Kentucky school Girls Questions.

While il is undoubtedly true that daugh-
ter should pay heed TO the advice OF her
parents when she contcmplates matrimony,
they have no right To force her to marry
against her will. They may have good and
reasonable ground for doing all in their
power to prevent her linking herself to n
man they know to he unfit TO assume the
responsibility of her care. Their experience
may enable them 10 see the lover with
juster eyes than hers. and the daughters
illial duty should prompt her to regard the
warnings Of her parents, though II has boon
proved in some cases that the girl was
better Judge of her lovers character than
either her father or her mother. still mar
riage is very important matter. and girls
are wise If they listen attentively to their
parents when they kindly and iGdiciously
advise them as to IT,
4 Louisville girl, however is urged by her
guardian to marry a man for whom she
does not care simply because her suitor is
pleasing to him. This is her case:
sir You have been KIND in assisting rcrplexei
lover to get ont o. their difficult, that in nv trouble
thought that would fonw your adNice 1T you will olge
me bt answering my letter
Il am uily - years oil and have neither father
nor mother m fact no relations whatever. except an
uncle who i IN, guardian. and with whom reside
Ever, body tells mo tia, | am yer, beautiful and my
,'na' add, very VAIN ms la, deny ior II VANITY
pr.uy. when e,ery on, he'll, me OF ~
My une'c allow, M To SEE no GENT, men hut an ol
,rh and h",n t,r i's,e ".i., ",' ''''
and both want 10 marry me lhc uncle /. IS nui .Ac
n,. m," o"e -
rather Noali marr, III, uncle nmi .a,. dat ,e wo,'
raiher see ne the harry "ie OF his OH ir'nd than to
fIIt fI If q oil
rn,, to,,,, ,'a, az '''
me a coiuctp ne,nu,e wll uoldo 80 NJ, reason, are
ta' d"no' .A.nk j, 'shi 10, 'choi si TO be esa.ci
not tnns it a, to me ia ant me- ,osnsas,
on until have seen more OF The world
ma, I's ~, ,p'sM s,r u e '"' am 'A'a
Pleas tell me what under these circumstances I
ou.nt T., .o ana you VA" S"meF sr'al ',or ANON
"o Cu"' - ''' S"" N""" - h"' !"s''"-
""' ~ '''o"v'y "O"'" '"' ."' i" INV
s'sV i'VN 'u' "',' ''' MIN, anu
- '"''' '"t WIZ Nv ''"9 W. 'H"' 10
'''' wv "'''' ~ ','"'''9 =" 9'' ""o'" n'7
w." '''"'' '"''' ""rS WIN" = "'"S
.''n' ~ Nv, W. WV, VI '''' VI" "','' Nl'
Wv '''O - ,"'p, wv - ''''', "'"''' "''"'
So" l'n"' ""'' p'' "'i'' ~ - d
,''t'' -" 80" Va, ~ ', " 80
.,..' - p''''
'I'' ''''',. 's''' ~
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1878-02-17

A bill has hecn introduced into the As
sembly desi gnod 10 create Il huge monopoly
Of the petroleum business. II contains sew
eral Objectionable provisions and some
which We deem unconstitutional. The plan
is to bring petroleum from the oil wells To
the seaboard through large pipes. cor
poratlon is created, authorized 10 seize and
appropriate am lands in the State which il
requires. at a valuation . be- determined by
Commissioners appointed by the supreme
Court. Ii the Commissioners do not award
any owner oil real estate more for his land
than the company have offered him, then
their expenses are to be paid out Of the
owners pocket,
We are inclined TO think the whole scheme
unconstitutional 1t aims al dpprop.iating
private property, wi''.out the consent of the
owner, a.. 10 what can bc strictly called
public Use, bat to another private Use. IT,
not - be supposed thst tArs'. Pipe lines Will
contribute tuihe Iu.l,c benefit but only -
the Individual benefit Of the stockholders.
They Will b' employed 20 lul. az a huge
monopoly in the supply OF staple article
To- make the rich richer and the poor poorer.
They will be- perverted al one time To the
oppression Of consumers. and mt another To
the unprecedented of ii' producers. Rail-
roads cannot comprto with thom, and thoy
VIII have everything their own way 1nc
pipes Will inevitably lesG in innuuowDl'
t,.a,4s along tnr route. cr.atln., nui-auers
like the sands OF the ~ra shore in Number,
and extending from border 10 border Of this
great State something ct the stencil which
now ronGrr~ Hunters Point lnto.craD.e.
II is now ev.drnt. and conceded. that the
Silver bid in IL present SHAPE can commando
two-thrls vote In t." SonHte Tue h'lei in
Washington is that il viii prove at lDast equally
strong ia tle House; and the question reeurs
What VIII HAYES 40 with IL?
Tine Book Committee Of the Methodist
Episcopal Church has reduced the salaries Of
the General Conference officers, editors Of
"Aur IN publications. agents. ana even in some
cases of the bishops. Tho paY Of these on falls
was not cNtruvaeant. cons ,der.ng tho extent
aud importance OF Oh" interests = their charge.
Bat rrironchmcAt is the order or n, day in All
well-goyerr "a ORGANIZATIONS Meantime. the
salaries Of Sow York ci'y officials contnu' 70
bee as high 40 in the nonrsAing days Of the
Ring. and Police Justices receive the pny VI
Cabinet Ministers,
After sitting up all night, tho Senate at
o'clocl; yesterday morning passed the Silver
bill bn' with amendments which send II back
To the House. The test OF the amended hill and
the vote which passed it arc given on another
page. The opponents ofthe measure struggled
tonaciously 10 make it less objectionable. md
hour aiter hour WIS used upin reading amend
mrnts. speech making and roll calls; but the
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1878-02-17

The Government at Washington has taken
excellent care Oi the gentlemen u the LnuSain Return
Ing Board II has continued Wells ~ surveyor NJ tine
port al Now bflcdns, where. service ill he
receives s'rh per Nnnun and lN"s empo' nrni tn his
cop as deputy at falpl YEAR Anderson Deputy
Collector ol the port and receives SWnA wear krnncr
and Ca>cnaNe are Suhdepuurs M the simr office. At
5000 each, and every clerk employed 10y the Returning
Board save Lichcld, Is employed ~ the Custom House
good, round SALARY
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1878-02-17

Landlords and real estate agent call Cor
an investigation into the workings OF the Dis
trict Courts Lack of means to pay re-. II in these
depressing times is turned into "A littl bonanza
Tor the justices before the unfortuna te tenants
are turned out
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1878-02-17

Al impression prevails at the Depar tment
OF the Interior that Mr.. scHuRz's expert ments
as civil service reiormer have been ndea-
nitely suspended.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1878-02-17

Field Marshal HALsrEAD's arguments for
an arrest Of judgment in the case OF ANDE RsDS
Ar. allfude
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1878-02-17

The iowa State Senate is at loggerheads
with the preachers. According to custom. the
ciergyI nen of Des Moines were invited Mt the
beginning Of the session to act AZ chaplains.
The rest lcnt preachers arranged their pro-
gramme. and all went we'll until. one morning.
n Senator invited reverend friend to tho
chamber and introduced him to the President
as chnpln In pro TEN. The resident preacher.
whose turn II was 10 pray, refused to stand
aside for the stranger. whcreupon the Senate
resolved TINT clergymen invited 10y members
should have the preference over tho regular
chaplains. The resident preachers thcreupon
sent word tN the Senate that decent regard for
their sclf-repect would preclude them there
after from playing for such body and now
the Senator's have to depend for their religious
exercises upun the occasional and irregular
visits Of clcrg ymen from distance.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1878-02-17

Arrest Of Madam Restell by Anthony Com
stock See Nee lVrk ihusD asd T,His1 to-day ado
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1878-02-17

an exception. JAY GovIp's Tribune lie informed
that two or three Senators did not act Mt all like
themselves. that one had an impediment in
his speech. and that this indisposition Of
Senators prolonged the session several hours.
The Erenin0 Posts CORRESPONDENT says. in plain
English. that "goodly number" Of Senators
go, drunk. lost the run of business. and made
Irightful exhibition Of themselves. II sitting
~ has this effect. the fewer all night sessions
,ln hnyc In future the better.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1878-02-17

Tho finances of Massachusetts may be
honestly administered. but they are not always
W sely expended. For instance. palatial hos
ptu for luuatcs has been built at Danvers. at
Il cost Of 81 500 600. and an eminent authority
on llnacy statistics says that there is no present
use TOR ii there being no surplus Of lunatic pa
tenus- in need Of accommodations. SO the pal
nee nSnnins unoccuDied,
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1878-02-17

The anxiety expressed in some British
journals that suL vIMAN Pasha shall forcibly
prevent the Russia ns from occupying Gallipoli
rs well as Constant noplc. is totally needless.
Should the Iussans advance unobstructed to
Gallipoli they could hold II only at the will or
hy the suilDrancc of England. No matter in
what strength they might occupy Gallipoli. the
English ships could drtvo them out and. If II
little prompter evacu,son were required. it
would be easy to land a hrce Of blue Jackets in
the Bay Of Saros. under tho guns Of the feet
and take the works of Uaripoli in the rear
Whatever may be the Russi an intentions re-
gnrding Gallipoli. it is not to be supposed that
SULErMAN's troops. holding thu lines at Bulair
are 10 b. disarmcd and demohilizcd. These
land forces would no all that the British would
require TO cooperate with them
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1878-02-17

GEORGE W.. FULMER Is a candidate for
Councilman In Philadelphia. and sent the fol-
lowing to the ooSvcntion that nominated him:
PHLA Dec eth
"1 do hcrby Plcaugc my Self That nomiaed not
will abide the Rnls vi the Party Gao fUlNhR"
What rues2 Surely not Addition. Division.
and Silence.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1878-02-17

II is now evident. and conceded that the
Silver hill In IL present SHAPE can command u
two-thrls vote IN t." Senate. Tao boiler In
Wusninlton is that il viii prove at least equally
strong in tle House; and the question reeurs.
What VIII HAYES 40 with b.?