Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1878-11-21
He Didn't Want Any More It.:

tue biuut w ant ANY More it'
"No, said Snobkins, | don think ! shall
ever have another pair Of pants dyed.
Not that had any of this foolish pride
which is unfortunately too common, or,
that have an income sufficient to war
rant me in buying new PAIR of pants al-
ter each meal, or that don't want to see
the lighthouses wax mighty and grow rich,
II is for none Of these causes, but there Is
one cogent reason which, in a case like
mine, makes MANN pair Of dyed pants
wish the world had made I'M assignment
and closed its doors, and he had put on
the clothes the angels wear and Snob-
kins took long breath and looked at his
auditors as if some one ought to pass the
hat before he went on with the continual
tlon of his story. "Wcll, YOU see the
thing was this way, | had two or three
pairs of faded pants which We're yet in Il
very fair state of preservation, and my
wife said it was u pity to lose EN-, and that
ought TO have 'cm dyed. The suggcs-
tiOn was quite aprOpOS thought, so the
next day ! was talking to my friends
down town about the economy Of my wife,
and the prospects of fresh cOlornd pants
for myself. BlifkiEs said it was an excel
lent idea that he had pair dyed and
liked 'cm very much. TOmpsins said the
same, aS dld also Sniilkcns and JudkinN
and Brown, and Smith, and Jones, and
they told me where they had them done,
md,,,,,uk mine to the same place" Here
Snobkn, too; another rest and i'm express
sion OF pam, showed itself in Il scattering
way over hls tacc hut he went on.
ain few days ! got my goods home
again, and in The evening thought II
20 round and show the boys my new ac-
QUESTION. Coming ont of I}likcnses gate
met his dog md expected to have to de-
clare wal and issu Il hostile manifesto:
but no, the dog came up, shifted m" once
or twice waggcd his tail. and seemed 10
consider me his equal and his friend, and
felt relieved and went ON. The TOmp-
kins dog greeted me in the same hospta-
blt way; like charity wa, shown 10y the
CANNES Ofthr Snitl'lrnscS and the IudklnS-
rs. and when rttthc Browns the Smith 5
and the Junr>r>', was surprised in TIN"
same manner. II was as dark as the
pagans' mind, when ! got home and !
hadn't noticed anything much until !
opened my own gate and got into my
front door, where WAS met in the hall
way by my own house dog, Hero, who gave
Il grOw and shot by me and in about five
minutes there was the worst old dog fight
going ON in my front hall you ever heard
of. The whole house was alive in ten
seconds, and night caps and shrirking te-
males, and bowling infants. and white
robes, and dog hair and Internal yuwIs,
and barkS, and yawpS and cranrhing Jaws,
and falling furniture and breaking glass,
got all miX"l up together, till thought
Il whole lunatic asylum on a .iamborcr had
been turned loose in my house, and ! was
the worst one in the lot. At last, after
half my new dyed pants were torn oft,
my shinS skinned like u beef, and the floor
covered with uuprcparcd sausage meat,
some one lit the gaS, and the tclfuIlcst
sight was presented YOU ever saw. And,
Snobkins totally ObliviouS of the glass took
il drink Of water out Of the pitcher, and
went on. "Aly dog was sitting on his
hunkcrs in the corner, and the BllItkens
dog with one ear gone and his fore leg
chawcd in two. and the TompkimS eur,
with his eye outnnd the blood coming from
his neck and the Snitikins and Brown and
Jones and Smith stock scattered every
where as if can of nitro.glyccrinc had
gone off among EN-, and there stood |
over it all, Nero amid the ruins, and the
cause of it all, for my pants we're dyed
with the same stuff that BlittkinS' and
Tompklns' and Snitikins' and the others
were, and when their dogs Snitird me,
they though | was them, and they follow
I'd me right home, and Thought they were
doing Just what any decent dog ought to
do; but my dog wasn't posted, and there
was where the bullet-hole was, and you
may Just bet your chances for the Sweet
BPj.anui- y bEy t.Hat this child don't never get
any more pants dyed.