Litchfield enquirer., 1878-04-11
CLIPPINGS.

Eggs are only fifteen cents dozen. Gan this be Lent?
 The air is heavy with the sighs of beanpole- belabored carpets.
 There has been some talk of transferring Princeton College to West Point
 The patient housewife's motto, 'sIt is never too late to mend"
 When a man has no bills against him he feels as though he belonged to the nobility.
 A Bedding man escaped sunstroke last Fri day only to be frost bitten on Monday.
 A rubber baby has been invented It is very durable, but troublesome while teething. All gum you know
 ''Why did Josephs brethren cast him into the pit p Because they didn't want him in the family circle p
 The Hudson River is open, and the Albany people are beginning to sing, ''This little tow went to market.
 Down in Kentucky they want to know how Governor Henry Watterson would sound. There is too much Waiter in it to suit Ken lucky.
 "The Mediterranean has sunk one-third of an inch since the opening of the Suez Canal" We knew it had sunk hut didn't think it had gone down like that.-Lt@1ury Nesos.
 Minister: 'Don't you think it's wicked to catch fish on the Sabbath ?" Small boy (not having had nibble all the morning.: ''Who's catchin' fish?"
 An office seeker wrote to General Butler asking his indorsement and described himself as patriot, not politician. Butler returned the letter to the applicant, indorsed, ''No pat riot stands the slightest chance of getting an office now"
 "Will you always trust me, dearest ?" he asked, looking down into her great blue eyes with unspeakable affection. She was a sales woman at an uptown shirt store, and she told him business was business, and he'd have 10 pay cash every time. The Pythian oracle still survives in the ann biguous Freshman, as witness the following: Professor: "ls the intensity of gravity greater at the poles or at the equator" Freshman. 'Yes, Sir" Professor. (Which ?" Fresh man. 'Its greater"
 Bill say, Mary, run and ask Jule to come and play with us." Mary-''You knew Bill mother says you ain't to call him Jule- his names Julius" Bill-"Well, what does she call me Bill for, then? shant call him Julius until she calls me Bilious" When the recording angel observes a minis ter of the gospel holding nail between his | finger, while he misses it with a hammer, the trustworthy scribe drops into a brown study and pretends not to hear anything. When you see a woman balancing herself on onefoot, kicking the other wildly out behind | her. and skillfully swoop up in her hand fan | tail train, don't be alarmed she isn't go- ing to have fit--she is about to cross . twelve inch gutter.
 A Renassler CInd.) clerk mesmerized ser vant-girl, and no one could get her to her sen ses again for twenty-four hours. When she came too she told the astonished spectators she had ''heard all they had said, but was unable to do anything" Same old trouble. Every servant girl is subject to it.
 Charles, my dear," said his his loving wife. II thought you said that the dodo bird was extinct" ''So it it is, pet" he replied. "Well, but, Charley, some one sent in bill to you to- day, and it says, To one julep, do do. To twenty braces, do do.' Charley, please do not buy any more dodos; they must be horr1d things"
 We read of a poor boy in New Bedford who | who was washed overheard recently and | drowned. We cannot warn mothers too too strongly against washing children over board if they would only wash them at home with tepid water anr soap and dry them thor oughly afterward, all danger would be avert ed.
 .Bruddrin', !" said an elderly colored preach. CT, Tn the course uf funeral sermon over the remains of one of his flock whose head had been caved in by the hind feet of mule "Bruddrin', it am pow'ful strange dat, arter mon a hundred vars 'sastrus 'speriment, s culled pusson shud pussist in 'prochin' mule fum de Tar"
 The languid days of spring make man feel sluggish. This demands medicine, and hence we suggest, ,-Sassafras to cleanse the blood steeped raspberry leaves to soothe the stem. stomach lavender tea to quiet the nerves sage to thin the tissues boneset to tone uI the system, and pills on general principles. = | ChicdQ0 Journal