Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1878-03-02
TERMS:
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.

Punishment for sin is internal, ex-
ternal, and possibly eternal.
Politicians who cry for honest
money should honestly get it.
Even truth lies IN well; but for
that reason IL is not well to lie.
The fool Of the period is the man
who never reais the newspaper.
The want of the age is cnnde lsed
drinks To carry in the vest pocket.
A German said Of n quack doctor ::
81 v"u,du't call him if mine Cat vas
dead"
Persons bathing in warm soda
springs exclaim: "Oh! this is soda
licious. .#...
"Are You Tired of Me, Darlingl"
is the latest song out. 1t should be
retired.
Bighfed are the roses l,y winters
glr"m. Blossoms on the noses are
slll in bloom.
Spanking bad boys is practice
days Of King solomon.
A singing entertainment, styled
Smother sGbose OPERA is popular
with the Michiganders.
A country editor says, "a brass
band has been organized in our
midst" Heaven help him."
\, thing is So fatal to the romance
of n kiss as IA ha,. your girl sneeZe
at the very climax of osculatinn.
When a nan threatens To paw you
off in your own coin, make him say
distinctly whether he means silver or
gold.
W"uldst enjoy perpetual sprinel
Then repair to the h"me of the fr-
,mer who brings spring chickens To
market.
"This is not the first mitten III
have received, Mr.. Brown!' "Bpt
perhaps the first you have ever given.
Mis-. Smith.
"You're a smart fellow" sneered u
lawyer To witness. nd return the
compliment IL wasn't under oath, }"
replied the witness. I#a ..-..
A young lady WAS asked on her re-
turn from church what the text MAS.
ehe unhesitatingly answered, "Blessed
are the dressnakrrs.'
A corset manufactures puts his
maine on each piece Of goods made.
Thus II is that advertise G does nov
and then go 10 waist.
Ole Bull is still travelling and giving
farewell performances in Germany.
He has been appearing for the last
time for eighteen years. .-....
" ia said Miss Hannah Ro'hschild
had the comfortable fortune of $l5,-
100000. There is nothing the matter
with Hannah. The Earl of Rosebery
took her in.
Priest--"Now tell me. Doolan, how
often d" You go to the chapel" Pat
well. NV. sure, I'll tell your riv'-
renee the truth. Faix, | go as often
as | can't avoid"
Beecher says: "Religion will wed
science, and scie zee will wed rell-
.gi"n.N The young conple will live
in Brooklyn aud have mutual friends,
says an exchange. .r. r1..
"Dpn't show my letters" wrote a
gentleman. to a young lady whom he
adored. "Don't he afraid,' was the
answer, ~ am Just as much ashamed
of them us you are" --.. 1879
A Montana Justice of the Peace
doesn't splurge any when he marries
n couple. He sa S: "Arise! Grab
hands! Hitchedl Six dollars" And
that is all there is of it.
Some financiers favor abolishing
revenue taxes on banks and bankers
and laying duty IN tea aud coff.e.
The banker Can drink wine ana eat
cake, and the poor man can have
bread aod nice water.
A lawyer offered to get a stay of
proceedings for client convicted Of
grand larceny. "But l don't want
my proceedings stayed" replied the
client, II want to proceed out Of the
country as fast as possible" al.
A little four-year old complained
to her mother that her shoes were
hurting. "Why, Matte, you've got
them on the wrong feet Puzzled
and ready to cry, she said: "What
am to do, mammal They's all the
feet I've tot"