The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1878-06-12
The Troubles OF q Poet.

Line IrOuDie8 OF q tOoL
While Colonel Bangs, editor Of the
Argus, was sitting in his Office one day,
a man whose brow was clothed with
thunder entered. Fiercely selling a
chair, he slammed his hat on the table,
hurled his umbrella on the floor and sat
down.
care you the editor ?" he asked.
eyes,"
"Can you read writinga"
"Of course"
"Read that, then," he said, thrusting
at the colonel an envelope with an in
scription on it..
B." said the colonel, trying to
spell it.
"That's not a B. It's an s." said the
man.
IS; O yes; + seel Well, the words
look a little like Salt for Dinner or
Souls of Sinners" said the colonel.
"No, sir" replied the man, "nothing
of the kind That's my name-Sam1 b..
Drummer. I knew you couldn't read. I
called to see you about that poem Of
mine you printed the other day, on the
sSurcease OF sorrow.
"I don't remember it," said the COL
onel.
"Of course you don't, because it went
into the par or under the Infamous title
of 'Smearcase Tomorrow"
"a stupid blunder of the compositors,
I suppose"
eyes, sir, and that's what I want to
see you about. The way in which that
poem was mutilated was simply scandal
GUS. haven't slept a night since. It
exposed me to derision. People think I
am an ass. Let me show you"
$50 ahead" said the colonel.
"The first line, when I wrote it, read
in this way.
Living by a weeping willow, underneath q
gentle slope
That is beautiful, poetic, affecting.
Now how did your vile sheet present it
to the public? There it is Look at
that | Made it read this way:
Lying to a weeping widow to induce her to
elope.'
Weeping widow, mind you A widow9
This is too muchl It's enough to drive
q man crazyI"'
"I'm sorry" said the colonel;
ssbut-"
"But look a-here at the fourth verse;"
said the poet. "That's worse yet.
What I said was:
Cast thy pearls before the swine, and lose
them in the dirt
T wrote that out clearly and distinctly,
in a plain, round hand. Now, what
does your compositor do? Does he
catch the sense of that beautiful senti-
ment? Doesit sink into his soul? No,
sir He sets it up in this fashion.
Listen:
Cart thy pills before the sunrise andIlove them
il they hurt ?
Now, isn't that a. cold blooded outrage
on a mans feelings? I'll leave it to
you if it isn't?"
cts hard, that's a fact" said the
colonel. -
"And then take the fifth verse. In
the original manuscript it said, plain as
daylight:
Take away the jingling money; 1t is only gilt
tering dross!
A man with only one eye, and a catar-
act over that, could have read the words
correctly. But your pirate upstairs
there, do you know what he did? He
made it read:
Take away the jeering monkeys on a sorely
glandered boss!
By George, Ifelt like Draining him with
q fire shovel I was never 30 cut up in
my life"
cit was natural, too," said the colo
mel. ....
"There, for instance, was the sixth
verse. I wrote:
Il am weary with the tossing Of the ocean as
it heaves.'
It is a lovely line, too ; but imagine my
horror and the anguish of my family,
when I opened your paper and saw the
line transformed into:
I am wearing out my trousers till they're open
at the kneesr
That is q little too much That seems
to me like carrying the thing IN inch
or two too far. I think I have a consti-
tutional right to murder that compost
tor; don't you9"
"I think you have"
"Let me read you one more verse. l
wrote:
Il swell the flying echoes as they roam among
the hills,
And I feel my soul awaken to the ecstasy that
thrills
Now, what do You s'pose your misera-
BILE outcast turned that into2 Why,
into this
Il smell the frying shoes as they roast along
the bulls,
And peel my sole mistaken in 1.-THE erctary that
Gibberish, sir Awful gibberish ! I
must STAY that man. Where is he ?"
"He is out, just now" said the colo
mel. "Come in tomorrow"
"I will,' said the poet !; "and I will
come armed"
Then he put on his hat, shouldered
his umbrella, and drifted off down
stairs,