The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1878-04-09
FLEA BITES.

-l0Ol5u uptl OdoseS SSc u.s. sVc go WIN
the young ladies Of Oiathe.-kcnsns lapsr.
We have sort of a remembrance. that
runs back less than q deckade. that Kansas
girls are flair 10 average" in having babies
Of their own He-h aud blood aud real
squallers. Fooli-h pas,ime pe,ting Indian
dolls.
The Houston Telegraph reads the citi-
zens of Houston a lesson on morals in con-
nection with the Can-Can nuisance. and
threatens 10 publish the name 81 every
man who attends the next exhibition OF
the kind in that city Exchange
Tha, suits the BAzoO. We will "stand
in" with the Telegraph and expose names to
the public gaze.
The man who has married aud buried
four sisters says that he has had abost
enough Of that fAm,ly.-EIohon9e.
A change Of inother-in-iaws We suppose
would be advisable, but perhaps he had
learned her 'turn Of mind" and knew how
TO manage her successfully. So he had
a big risk to run in getting q new one.
The squaws will soon he up from the
-Learenro'th paper.
The horrid way that the Leavenworth
ladies now dress We shonld judge they had
been waiting some time for the arrival Ct
the squaws. II they would adopt the style
and customs Of their dre-s in toto, it would
be an Improvement.
A newly married couple at Ro>eburg,
Oregon, were disturbed On the follow ing
morning by the appearance at their cham
her door Of that irrepressible nioiher-in Law,
who exclaimed: "Now, you git up; when
I was married my old man MAS out in the
field mowin' long afore this time o day; IL
you don't git up I'll burn up your clothes -
"Burn 'eu, old gal; gaul dara 'em, | don't
wan, 'em agin," exclaimed the groom.
That's what We cali real patriotism and
a pure illustration OF '.o-so."
When lady slips on the sidewalk she
gracefully sits down and that's the end Of
it.-kdnsas scPsr.
The end Of what ,-Liacc's Joyraai.
! Her hustle, Of course.
-Phibbers have been known iew becum
| liars Jest "a hot lemonade drinkers with a
little port wire in il jest for efiekt, hav been
/ known tew becum our most reliable whi>k y
iriukers.-yoA Billings.
And still shot lemonade assimulates the
system, warns the blood, soothe- the spirit,
wears away the cloud Of gloom that hangs
DER the soul, and makes the sunbIrst q!
happiness that foods the earth with radio
a..ce and satisfaction. "Waiter, another
glass Of hot LEMONADE"
The Milwaukee .Scntinoi tries to star, a
fresh panic by asserting that four OF five
children OF a single birth are becoming -
common that single-seated baby Carriages
are drug on the market"
When Ole Bull, commenced his mus IL al
SSii'Sis aEdlesss.H.nkt;cianS s '"
Tony Leece owns the father Of all these
6ddles. Ii is a bass viol.
A young lady ia Indiana got up at
midnight, foddered the COWS, split some
wood and got the water on to wash before
she awoke That's the kind OF girl Tor u
man to marry She'd 60 ont and hoe iwo
acres of potaiees.--UefTod Free Press.
! II she did all that we will bet horse that
she would comb her husbands head with a
three legged stool. snd make matters gen.
orally red hot; and DO i, when she was wide
awake, too.
A Young man in New Haven cancelled
a three months board bill the other day, by
marrying his landlady.-ESoLange.
Sedali.. can beat that. Several years $50
a young man Of thi. city boarded with a
lady who had a comeiy daughter. His
board bill run for nearly twelve months.
To liquidate that he married the daughter
hy the old lady's consent. and now the
mo;her-in-la~ is the happy pos~es.or OF
three grand children, and that boarding
house. quite distant from Seda!Ia, now feeds
EN- all.
A Burmese divorce is very simple.
The colple whose hearts have ceased Ia
beat-,s one-respeciiveiy light two can
dies, and shutting up their hu', sit down and
wait until they are burned. The one whose
candle burns out first gets up and leaves the
house forever, taking nothing but the clothes
he or she may have on ut the time all
else then becomes the property Of tie other
party.
Yankee ingenuity would doctor those
candles till some fellow would have one
that would burn for three days.
Stone fences are no longer to be regard.
ed a. Yankee notion rchdnge.
We have seen some Of 'em made in tum-
bier in Kansas. There kind Of fences are
strong enough to keep out our earthquakes.
These kind Of fences are stronger than
hedges, and after swallowing one fellow
thinks he has swallowed mile Of Usage
orange with the briars all turned the wrong
way. When you go through these fences
YOU have 20 lie careful about letting down
the bars.
Politics will have 10 take another ssct.
now that the campaign lies have all been
nai,sd.-.2. Louis journal.
The Se,lalia politicians put spike in
theirs.
-"WilI the new saloon he opened -
Osceola Sun.
Derned IL We know. Can't Won get in
over the trsnsom?
-
doctors are 10 guide human life and
bring relief to the sick. So does DIR. Bulls
Baby Syrup. il contains nothing injurious
and is sIways reliable. To he had at all
drug stores in our city. Price, p cenis.
On the 23i ult. the dwelling and
smoke house Of Judge T. L. Warren, on
Little NiaEgua River, Camden county, ~ere
Jas,rnv.J l,v fire with n n ,a.;,j.r able mr.