The Centre reporter. [volume] (Centre Hall, Pa.) 1871-1940, 1878-02-28
ms HONOR AND BIJGH.

An Hear aI the CeHtral staIisa Csart.
BijAh was pounding the door mat
against the hydrant, when n hmping.
fearful lad Of nine came along. The old
man looked at him sharply Rnd asked:
Child, Why these evidences of sor-
row."
Fell down 20 s0bbed the boy.
How wonderful is gravity" unused
Biiah. "If IL wasn't for that we'd all
fall up instead of down. You hit your
toe and"
"Hit my toe agin the curbstone and
went he'd fust all over the street.
"Sartin, You did. Ypn were plug
ging along a. il you owned the whole
town, head up and al the iibs drawing.
and Nature took YOU down peg.
Sarved yon right, my child. When a
person gits too highnosed Ia watch their
own feet it's time they tumbled.
ms Rich AUSI.
HorAtio Park, young man ON the
doorstep Of life, was foand crowded into
barrel IN an alley AT midnight De
was sound asleep when has feet we're
discovered, and when the officer raped
on the barrel and entreated the sleeper
to awake and back out, he awoke and
replied: -.
II will not back out unless paid for
itr
The officer pulled ON hun, but ha
clung 30 tine barrel HiR roost was then
rollel uu and down the alley for FIVE
minutes, but he seemed 10 enjoy IL.
The head OF the barrel was kicked IN,
and being attacked on all sides, the
Young man surrendered. His personal
effects consisted Of a hAir-pin and a
boIled egg, but he WA tranquil and dig
nified. Brought before the bar he said
" Your honor, my rich amt will call
and settle the bill. I'm in = hurry to
catch the omnibus
This court knows no hunts or un-
cles, " replied his honor.
I'm give you an introduction to-mor-
row-eant wait now
"There is no cause for haste, Mr..
Park. Stand still, now, and explain 70
me why You are vagrAnhng around in
this manner? Have you any cash ?
"Only few hundred dollars in
bonds, was the answer.
"What sort of bonds r
al don't FcmFmber.' '
Have You q home2'
Yes. sir. All outdoors y my
TOO big piece Of property for one
man 10 handle, sighed the court, ms he
gave him sixty days.
rHE P.ARrIcrLAB MAN.
James Portense entered n grocery on
Michigan avenue and asked for some
silver. plated hens ealsR, explaining that
he couldn't think ot buying the common
sort Failing 10 find any, he inquired
for cardinal rcd turnips, Lundon-sn-oked
potatoes and Goldfish with a hole
through IT, Such particular man soon
had a particular fight on his hands. He
made objections 10 the size Of pedes-
TRANS nose, aud had the size OF his
own increased four-fold, and was arrest
ell besides. -.4-s.4...
II suppose you'll want turtle-soup
UP there, won't you {" asked the court.
" Yes. SIR. / viii also want a dress
ing gown, pair OF slippers, chocolate
every morning. and the daily paper must
be brought 20 my cell. y
Which daily do you prefer ?" softly
Rsked his honor
"I'd like one printed in red. F"
And about your daily drives Do
you want barunche. or cab 7"
I'm take a bar. ooch. ! guess.
Very we'll BiiAh here will hire q
dray and send YOU mp n diamond pin
and a neck-scarf, and | think youll be
we'll fixed for the winter"
"Egzd he's soft one" whispered
the prisoner 10 Biiah, as they reached
the corridor; 81 didpt suppose he'd
allow me half those things fi--Detroif
Free Rcss.