The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1878-07-06
VARIETY.

An Iowa editor thus acknowledges present o
grapes Wereceived basket of grapes from oul
friend W, for which he will accept our compli
nents some Of which are nearly two inches IN oil
Gmeter.
Well, | swan, Billy said old farmer tc
IN undersized nephew who was visiting him
- when you take off that ere plug hat and spl
two or three times there aint Kuch left of you
is tn CHM. Er.
( 4 woman will face frownng world and cling
to the man she loves through the most bitter ad-
versity, but she wouldn't hat three weeks
behind the style to save the Government
In Japan man may procure divorce from
his wife on the ground that she talks too much,
and the amount of domestic bliss that there is in
that country surpasses the Widest flights OF i'm
agination.
A young lady astonished a party the other day
by asking for - the loan of a diu1inutive argen-
teOus truncated cone, convex on its summit and
semi-perforated with symmetrical identations, !"
or in other words thimble.
The farmer who sent his son to the city to be-
come a clerk now writes and asks the merchant if
there is 90 anything in the boy ?? So Yes, replied
the merchant, ''just after he has been to
saloon. >"
\ On being asked why be went into bankruptcy,
replied - Well, my liabilities were large,
lLnpromising; and so thought I'd do as my
neighbOrs do
1t is said that Edison has perfected foghorn
that can be heard ten miles, but when it comes
to an invention for getting his hired girl up in
the morning, he smiles sadly and falls to musing
On the infinite.
When policeman is seen shaking hands with
a pump, and bidding 1t an affectionate good
night, or saying, s. Poor old COrbinson Rob-
e, Ek,1E
he ha.s been '' taking something"
WbAat is the difference between the debris of
some bf our streets and certain political orators
AnsY Ikr-In one case there is considerable lying
aroun bose, and in the other there is consider
able Il &Qse lying around
An Eold lady from the country, while looking at
the std &tue of Pocahontas, at Woodwards Garden
the or fher day, was heard to exclaim, 80 La, how
sbocIi 4ae but she don't cost her husband much
for cl5 bt6es!''
Dar win says the 50 coming man" will be bald
beade b. This will be sad news to the coming
woma 81. Instead of snatching her husband by
the Hair, in Il family discussion, she will be
obligd Ia to pour scalding water down his back.
E.1lson-s phonograph has teen on exhibition
amOnz the scientists of Paris. When the
instrument was placed on the table and vocifer-
ated - The phOnograph presents its compliments
to tbs Academy of Science there was a roar of
Laughter from the audience, which could with
difficulty be persuaded that the sound did not
proceed from some concealed ventriloquist.
Th Cazenovia (Ind) Republican says He was
an enire stranger TO the girls present, and the
boys ,ere mean and would not introduce him.
lie hlllIy plucked up courage, and, stepping up
70 hung lady, requested the pleasure of her
-compaly for the next dance. She looked at him
IN suIlrise, and informed him she had not the
Pleasue of his acquaintance. Well,'' re-
niLlAet lLt Cazenovia, &" you don't take any more
ehancts than l do
taking about men losing their senses when
are drunk 1t is not always the case. for
le men are all the sharper when they are
,i"rIbonan nul, : man lately applied TO the
% uoh-house to be locked up The sar,eont
9eared tribe surprised at the renres. son.s "nS
oeeuTu 70 interview him on the snb;oot
al IiSht' old man l know nv hiz VII
9runk the oid woman can handle me III
4u' p"' Iah "hohop blazes out of her yvba
s0oeF. LOCK me UP, for I'm on i. Ter ni,L.
81 the oid woman Is waiting for me ter So So
hc ne. Iurn on the bolts, old man ;, Thn1.
wee turned on. Ahey
Telephone story, from the Whitehall m V,
mes: just before the thunderstorm ON StS g l }
evening last, Whitehall man stenned a5A;ut, ;uto
telegraph once at this place and reoueeteJ
q privilege OF talking through the telepbone
his wife, who was visiting friends at Tn
IN w. Eddy, the assistant manager. orantSSi
request, and the WHITEWATER began one
as. He couldn't be prevailed upon to beIiaTo
~ t 1t was really his wife who was taIkino to
ana sne so many miles away He finally
- Nee her to say or do something Eno. "a = =
---- At he mig b Gg-
as Just then rar .
'.S 2 .7me n the wire -., 49,
-5 I,oI