The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1878-03-09
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.


We approve of your determination to expert
ment in tea growing. The tea should m0t DC
stepped before planting. Sow about li'cei'
posnds of the best Young Hyson to the acre
Mr.. Beccher in answer to what has become OF
the devil now that he'll has been abolished po-
Iitely intimates that possibly a letter may reach
him at Chicago But some people persist III
sending to Brooklyn.-F. !. 81"
Girls whose opinion about such things is al,
WAYS valuable, say that there is too much shirt
collar and too little young man in the present
fashion to suit them.
George Francis Train says at was my mis-
fortune to be born in Brooklyn. | apologize to
Boston for It, A meaner place never knew"
"Whcn tempted to anger" says writer,
"breathe prayer" Jcs' so. Whenyou happen
20 stub your toe for instance, murmur "Now
lame me'
"She likes to talk with men better than with
women" says Washington correspondent OF
Gail Hamilton. Nothing strange about that
they all do.
A Pittsburg editor has been found guilty OF Ii
bel and sentenced to pay fine OF one thousand
dollars and be imprisoned for one year; ana thus
the grim question of how he was to get through
the winter is solved. Sparrows and editors are
watched over.
The Brooklyn editor to whom was offered lot
Of medicine for fits in pay for advertising, de-
clines, saving: Medicine for fits won't do. We
will take itch ointment or condition powders or
ANYTHING we need, but we don't want to have fits
lust to fill up paper with advertising"
4 creditor in Maysvillo, Ky, sought to get an
attachment on the ground that his debtor had
said, "rm going to sell out and go to hell, thus
ustifying belief that he had intended to quit
the State The Justice decided that the remark
was no Indication that the debtor Neant to 90
out Of Kentucky.
A poem sent us begins: "The snow came
down" The information, II seems TO u.s. is quite
superfuous. Now, If the snow had gone up
that would have been very different thing
Bufaio Express.
The report of an earthquake shock at Washing
Ton appears to be unfoundcd. The rumor has
been traced back to the fact that Senator Davis
stepped on a spool Of cotton while going down
stairs.
"Thcrc'- metre dactylic spondaic
There's meter for sigh and for moan,
But the metre Of all most angelic,
Is, let the gas meter alone ~. } -H@tI
There's metre that's long, short and common,
And metre so slow it's dronc;
But the meter of all metred meters
Is meet 'cr by moonlight alone.
-.i,rOrd N1rs.
Young Corn is Il cadet at West Point. lie will
probably be n kernel.
A negro tcamstcr in Nashville declares that
he must either give up driving mules or with
draw from the church, the two positions being
incompatible.
Moody is after 'old Grant" and Secretaries Robe
son and Dcano. He says that Daniel, while in
Office ''would not become the third party to any
contracts, nor allow any brothers or cousins to
receive any profits for him. nor countcnancc
swindlng among the Indians, nor stealing Of
public lands"
An exchange remarks on the strange fact that
the paragraph wits seem studiously to refrain
from punming on the Bosphorus. Just so. Now
the punstcr who is ready TO 90 there and get us
up lot of first class puns is the Doss.for-us!
Episode in political convention at Titusyillc
Pa: "Thc Chairman-Thc Chair will not dis
putc the point with Mr., Carter" "Mr. Carter
The Chair had better not unless lie takes his coat
or" The Chair did not.
An enterprising and adamantinc- checked news
papcr reporter has discovered that Mrs Lord
calls her aged husband "My dear" Seems to us
that "old buck" would be more in accordance
with the eternal fitness Of things.
Now that's good hint. The Marsclcs HGdid
Is constrained to ccnsurc native for getting
la, t1,..rit, IL
noisy crowd in the street when all would have
been happier if the fellow had divided up the
benzine equally with his audience.
Sergeant Bates, who carried flag through
America and England is now carrying hod.-
GilldH star
lie is now engaged in writing book, entitled
How 10 avoid honest toll, and at the same time
steer clear Of the poor house "-SdyJrodk Hru".
There! We hope the Kankakcc Gd-cttc will
.top ridiculing the pretensons Of the sweet sing
er Of Michigan to possessing the divine aiilatus
when he comes TO read her latest poem, as FOL
lows:
Ex-Governor Coburn, of Maine, own, half 4 mil
lion acre,
None have ];
Sometimes, think how easily, If | had only half
his PIE, COuiu edllslN anu SlltHNI tAlN
tunitics Of the various ncighborhood butchers
and bakers and candlc-stick makers
Makes me cry.
But he will have to leave hi order for a wooden
overcuat Just the same as the rest OF W., at the
undertakes,
By and by.
But there isn't much consolation in that, because
/ don't suppose could get TO he one of the
heirs, assigns, executors, or administrators,
If I'd try.
Tie New Bedford Standard relates the ease ola
remakablc fuldllmcst of dream. young
book keeper found hi, accounts at the end Of the
month so short, and was naturally in such truu-
Die that lac dreamed about ii, and in his dream
be saw a so bill under an old desk in the Office.
Mex; morning he removed the old desk and sure
enough under il he found sixteen cents lie
hopes, by keeping ON 10 dream, eventually To re-
cover the whole sum. Meantime, We suggest
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