Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1878-02-28
No. Il
Helena, Montana, Thursday, February 28, 1873.
EEs1sHOr Of uEae Hour.

What's one mans fish is another mans
ass0n.-Bost0n Post.
The water bored--An artesian well.-Bos-
ton Commercial Bulletin.
Cleopatra's needle has come to amelancholy
end d-Graysend.- CAicago Times.
Sergeant Bates is carrying bricks in
Chicago. That's sort OF hod C0nan.erc5ul
Advertiser.
Query. Will complications III the (y)east
affect the rising OF lhe sun ?-Bostop COna-
mercjal Bulletin.
Why didn't he eat up the whole desk! We
refer to the anaconda VINO swallowed a pigeon
whole.-Kac)tange.
Experience may be dear teacher, but she
isn't any dearer than pretty schoolma'am.
Oil CITY DerrSck.
The difference between boy and barn is
that shingles are applied to the roof OF the
barn. .-Itome Seminal.
DO drop letters ever get hurt p asked an
exchange. Well, they are found dead some
times C0hoes Courier.
Paris eats thousand horses every month.
This is what we should call galloping con-
sumption. Com. Bulletin.
The romance of the road-the evident be-
lief of the highwayman that every traveller
has money.-Butalo Eapress.
The man who swore off is beginning t. OBJ
serve, with great feeling, We've got but one
life to live, anyway. ."-Dan6ury Neacs.
A contemporary asks: ''What is Christi
anity?'' Poor fellow! We suppose he can't
afford to keep dictionary.-N. Y. Hail.
It's no wonder, as critic recently remark
ed, that 1.-The Raven p" savors OF ancient
Greece. It's Poe-made.-N. Y. Commercial
AdUertiser.
The worst bore should be treated with hy-
he should at once be exposed to the cutting
blast.-Graphic.
A medical writer says poor circulation is
indicated by cold feet. Greenbacks must
stump around on icicles in these parts.-
Bridgeport Standard.
The printer who is SO distrustful OF his
knoaoing better as to follow copy will so to
Heaven, but he will be very lonesome there.
-Cinciamatj Saturday Night.
There has been SO much rain in southern
Iowa this winter that the conductors of the
B. & NJ. freight train take rank with rear adj
mirals. Burlington Haackeye.
Next to committing matrimony, commit
ting perjury in swearing to savings bank
return is the most likely to withdraw prom
inent citizen from general circulation.-N. Y.
Tribune.
The model husband has been found in AL
bany. He don't permit his wife to do more
than half the work She puts up the canned
fruit in summer, and he puts it down in win
ter Chicago Times.
Il told her I'd never smoke another cigar,'
he said, softly, ''and won't. A pipes plen-
ty good enough for me"-and he gracefully
drew a match over the largest part of his
trousers. Courier.
When fourteen-year old girl asked her
little brother if she should buy him top, he
named Mr.. Bryant's best known
poem. He said, II would rather have some
marbles Than .a-top-sis. "-Nor7istoaon Her.
aid.
The principal at the bottom of the silver
policy and of anti-resumption
is really the same. The former resolves it.
self into question of weight, and the latter
is question of wait, too.-Boston AdceT-
tiser.
Ahawk swooped down upon weathervane
On church spire in Charlotte, N. c., and
was disguised to find it only an imitation
rooster. That bird now agrees with the
preacher of the church-that all is vane-ty.
Richmond State.
s'He that measures not himself is measur-
3D." This is very excellent proverb, but it
vas originally intended for notion tailor
'hop. "He who seeks trouble never misses,
unless he belongs to an amateur rifle club.
Then he never hits, and we've got money to
yet on it.-Daily Derrick.