The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1878-03-30
VARIETY.

In Eureka, New, the delighted miners shouted
to Di Murska, 80 Cut her loose, old gal, . turn
ON the music and 90 Raise the roof, little one
The four daughters of York state man,
named Pints, are known as half gallon OF
'lasses.
mans religion is pretentious of Sunday
and obscure on week days you had better do
business with him on a cash basis
Some woman, but heap lots OF fool, was
the remark of an Indian when he saw the
Omaha females put on trails
IF the short man ever feels overcome with an
intense desire to be tall, 1T is when he finds
himself on the outside of Il crowd at dog
fight.
There is woman who works among the
Kennebec lumbermen, driving logs down the
river. And Mr.. Beecher says, - Hurrah . She
doesn't believe in miserable he-raiter
1t is proposed in Indiana to change the mar
riaoe service so that it will read, g W no dare
take this woman And the bridegroom shall
answer, - dare
1t is not loud praying" says an Arkansas
circuit rider, - which accounts with the Lord,
50 much as giving four full quarts to the
gallon
" Belinda, why is kiss like that sewing
machine of yours? ?'' oh, don't know.
Don't bother me- EN- tell you why. It's
because it seems so good.
don't like to talk much with people who
aIways agree with me. 1t Is amusing to
coouette with an echo n little, but one soon
tires of it.-CdrlyIe.
:. Kentucky beats them all. She now furn-
ishes a case where man eloped with whole
family except the old man, who had lame
back, and couldn't get to the depot IN time. =
Free Press.
1t was rich manufacturer of New Jersey who
said to his guests, '' Ladies and gentlemen,
offber the grapes ye shIll have beef shteak and
masbaroons, ard thin ye shill heV venlson
starlight from Venice"
- Every drop bTan'y L drank paid duty,
midear. - Well, what of it p said his wife,
as she pulled off his boots. 4" Then, midear,
amt a (hic) duty-fuli husband - She con-
.cIuded that he was.
:. The first step towards wealth. says n
x,ewspaper, .. is the choice of good wife. >
And the first step towards securing good
wife is the possession of good wealth, says
another. Here we have one of those good rules
which work prettily both ways.
=. They say that they say in Boston that there
Is satisfaction in being well dressed that re-
Iioion cannot give The ladies of New York
aid on New Years, that 90 tic-back" which
enabled them to sit down was an inexpressible
relief!
In recent scandal case in Smith county, Kan
sas n Iady witness declined to answer question
and the attorney demanded her reason . be
cause il is not fit to tell decent people. " On
we'll :" said the Iawer, just walk up here and
sell the Judge"
The newest styles in dresses are made witt
= hollow pocket through which the train ma.
he drawn: thus enables lady to carry he
train in her pockets, much to relief of gentlemen
Rnt how would a fellow look with the bottom
of his t1owsers tucked in his coattaii pockets.
He was saving, 50 As the pearly column o
smoke in a winters atmosphere rises unoroke
beayenward, so my heart rises to thee. a
the sunhower follows the cruel sun which give
il life. so nv heart follows thine As the olu
brook runs its unhindered course 10 tle sea,
nv soul, in slavery, goes to thee Salo she
81 Henry, now that we're engaged, will you
nail blade cut cOrns ?"
Alta happy spot where a number of negroe
reside, an old negro was heard calling out t
his wife, 50 Manda is you got dem chicken
shut up in de smoke house, like L told yer
6" No; an I'd like to know what's de matte
wild you, dat your so ticker bout dem chick
ems all at once" she replied. 90 Nebber yo
mind know what's de matter, and dat's nu
till dem chickens is housed. When hear da
dem niggers ober dar in the next yard is gwIn
to hab party tomorrow night, L wants to D
sure nv chickens doesn't tend it. t.''-ChicG9
Post.
The editor of the franklin Patriot has write
q poem in imitation of LongfellOw's Z" HIa
1Yatha made it to resemble 50 Hiawatha
as nearly as he possibly could-and thinks thai
aside frors an occasional rhyme which he lnaC
9ertentIy suffered to creep in, the resemblanc
IS perfect. His subject is '' The Dog
The dog Ehc loves bark and bite
Who sleeps all day and barks all night
ooh, hit him with an aerolite ,
OF him write
He a life of ianguid ease
sometimes loves 10 bark UP trees
lie his idiosyncracies,