The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1878-12-04

Wnen the aN man Oh HIS SlOIlldCil IlldAeS
A sort of a butter firkin.
-Yonkers Gazette.
THE Boston Transcript has the handsomest
young lady in Massachusetts on its editorial
staff.
FRANCIS MURPHY converts $500 New York
bummers a week, but they won't stay con.
verted.
JOSH BILLINGS, by bad spelling, has made
more money than any dictionary maker who
ever lived.
1T has never been ascertained how much old
ocean measured round her gray and melan-
choly waste.
AS CHRISTMAS approaches, there will be
great deal of nat goodness among the chill
dren.-whitehall Times.
LOOK out for the girl who throws her whole
soul into a pair of slippers for the parson.-
New Orleans Picayune.
THE man who had married an incorriglble
shrew declared to friend that he had con-
tracted dangerous scold.
AN old negro cook says: "Sass is powerful
good in everything but children. Dey need
some oder kind of dressin'."
Bob INFIDEL is too rough on Moses. Besides
its cowardly to attack man when he's not
around to defend himself.-Pewee Methodist.
THE Picking Stats Zeitung prints a letter
from a Chinese scholar asserting that the tele-
phone was invented prior to 1000 A. D., by a
resident of Picking.
THERE is no legal rate of interest in China.
When a Chinaman wants to borrow eighteen
cents to buy his provisions for the winter he
goes out and steals it, and says nothing of in
terest high low-N. " F1nancier.
| SUPPOSE the same man would live to be
eighty years old on brown bred, roots and
green CRIBS, who would reach seventy eight
on plum puddin and milk punch. Which ov
the two ways do yu konsider the whichest?-
Josh Billings.
"How are the stalrs?" said the lady to the
house agent; "not steep, L hopper" 'Steep,
madam? / should say not. It's the easiest
staircase ever saw in my life. Why, it's so
easy that when you're going up you'd swear
you were going down."
THE Cedar Falls Gazette says justice of the
peace at New Hartford married a couple the
other day, and the groom asked him his terms
after the knot was tied. "Well," said the JUS
tice, ''the code allows me two dollars" "Then,"
said the young man, ''here's a dollar; that will
make you three"
MRS. JANE TRACEY died near Sioux City the
other day, and In rearranging the house after
the funeral the friends discovered sack con-
taising gold coins to the value of $40 $3.50, which
1t is supposed the old lady had accumulated
during her life, keeping the fact from the fam
lily, who were greatly surprised at the revela-
ton.
A LITTLE boy in a Sunday-school put poser
to his teacher. The lady was telling her class
how God punished the Egyptians by causing
the first born of each household TO be slain
The little boy listened attentively. AT the
proper interval he mildly inquired: "What
twins
A FARMERS wife, in speaking OF the smart
ness, aptness and intelligence of her son, a lad
of six years old, TO a lady acquaintance, said
"He can read fiuently in any part of the Bible,
repeat the whole catechism, and weed onions
well as his father" Eyes, mother" added
the young hopeful land yesterday licked Ned
Rawson, threw the cat into the well and stole
sd Hickey's gfmlet."
A FIVE year old son Of a family the other day
stood watching his baby brother, who was
making great noise over having his face
washed. The little fellow at length lost his
patience, and stamping his little foot said:
"You think you have lots of trouble, but you
don't know anything about it. Wait till you're
big enough TO get a lickiu', and then you'll see
won't he, mama?"
GEORGE PHILLIPS a married man was found
dead In bed one night, at h is home In Cincin-
natl. A post norton examination showed
that the stomach of the de ceased contained
one-half gallon of whisky an d four large oys-
tiers. The man wanted to yon1ft, but the oys-
tiers acted as valve, and preve uted an ennis
sion of the stomachs contents. This caused
paralysis OF the heart, resulting IN the mans
death.
ACCORDING to Hubner's statistics the United
faf<o h. To- he In
number OF children In elementary schools,