The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1878-04-04
Mtr AND HuM0R.

Inere is at least one man in WOr-
cester who hasn't forgotten his New
Years resolution. He was observed
at late hour holding an earnest
argument with tobacconist's sign,
and was heard to close the discussion
with the reply: II tell you sno use:
swOre off smok'n and drink'n lasl
New Yearsh.''
has one pocket for his gold and another
for his silver. That was the policy
we adopted when we commenced the
printing business. Those pockets are
just as good to-day as they ever were,
but we have worn out one dozen and
a half pairs of pantaloons.
Outside the meeting house: Deacon
Norwood Ito elder Tompkins)-"Yes
sir; man with hope and without no
faith is like a young man in row.
boat, who amt got only one oar, and
rows round and round in circle and
don't go nowhere" Small boy tat a
safe distance)--"If he warn't darned
fool, he'd scull."
He was saying: Gas the pearly
column of smoke in a winters at
mOsphere rises unbroken heavenward,
SO my heart rises to thee. AS the SUM-
flower follows the cruel sun which
gives it life, SO my heart follows thee.
AS the blue brook runs it's unhindered
course to the sea, so my soul, in
slavery. goes to thee" Said she:
"Henry, now that we're engaged,
will your nail-blade cut cOrns ?"
AS an evidence of the dullness of
the times we may state that during
the last ten months no one has dis
covered imbedded in the center of
rock, 300 feet below the surface of
the earth, a live toad supposed to be
1900 years old. This wearying dis
cussion of the financial question is
prostrating all branches of business.
An old darkey who was asked if, in
his experience. prayer was ever
answered, replied: "Well, sab, some
pra'rs is ansud an some isn't 'pends
on what you axes TO. just arter the
wah, when it was mighty hard
scratchin' TO- the culled breddern, l
observed that when ebber pway de
Lod to SEN one o. Marse Peyton's fat
turkeys for de ole man. dere was no
notice took of de partition; but when
| pway dat he would send the ole man
for the turkey, de matter was tended
to before sunup next mornin', dead
sartin
A Scotch paper speaking Of a fox
having been seen trying to spring a
trap by means Of stick that he car.
ried in his mouth. We knew of q fox
once that took a well-pole from the
yell and pushed turkey off the lower
limb of a tree with it, and put the
pole back in its place. At least he got
the turkey, and the well pole was
found all right in the morning.
When the occupant of business
place in Michigan avenue was asked
why he didn't hang out a flag in men,
DRY of Washington he replied:
"What do l know about George
Washington y
.sWhy, you have read about him,
haven't your
Il suppose ! have, but You don't
suppose swallow all I read, do youi"
'.But every body knows that Wash
ington was great and good man."
protested the first.
IL don't know about that. I've
heard good deal about him since /
came to Detroit, and I'm not going to
run the risk of offending some of my
customers by waving flags around.
I'm just starting in here, and don't
want to make any bad moves"
''But, sir, but
please go on interrupted the
business man. IF people hear you
jawing around my place. they'll think
I'm q politician and keep clear Of me.
I'm neutral in politics and you can't
force me into the Washington clique
no, sir. "-Defyoie Free Pyess.