The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1878-09-04
Wit and Humo,r.
ea-The sight Of land.

n Sicat Alo1a1 oAo"----AAc uypoCi1tt.
Motto for the married Never dis pair.
Categorical statement Speaking to
the pulrpuss. .s..... ,S
an In its recent fall the temperature did
not hurt itself. asiG a
-. A deaf mute barber is the joy and pride
of Shreveport, La. @2 ..'.f "a
The defaulting cashiers motto-Non
sst-y is the best policy.
What kind of ship has two mates and
no captain? A courtship. ....@..
What man must have his glass before
he can do days work? A Glazer.
An exchange says: "a button is a
smallevent which is always coming off,"
If a man is knocked over by COW,
can ne not be said to get free milk
punch2-Puck .... .~..s..
A doctors fees, for instance, would
you call them iH-gotten gains2-Phila-
lelphta Bulletin. .~:.
Cyprus is about as large as Connecti-
cut, If anything, Connecticut is nut
meg greater Courier Journal.
The three degrees in medical treatment:
Positive, ill; comparative, pill; superla
tive, bill.-Neo YORK. Medical Times.
Brother Jasper, the Virginia philoso-
pher who holds that the sun moves, is on
the move himself because he couldn't
pay his rent. .....
With the exception of deliquent sub
scriDer, everything is about a fortnight
earlier than, usual this year. Chenango
AusesScas,.
What's the difference between the
prince of Wales and water in fountain?
One is heir to the throne, and the other is
thrown to the air. 3 o.. 3..~.
A Wisconsin church has been aided by
a"grand religious hoss-trot." This is an
improvement on the grab-bag and lottery
business. 's#'
An Illinois lawyer, who charged
widow $25 for making out bill of sale,
reduced his bill to IS after the widows
brother had taken off his coat.
Il meyer knew convict to put any en-.
ergy into hymn singing, unless he was
planning to escape" says an ex-convict
from the Ohio penitentiary.
An Iowa farmer, worth $4,000, started
out four years ago to secure legal revenge
ON neighbor. The lawyers have it sll
now, while he has revenge.
Hennepin county, MINI, has $2S3,376
in its treasury and owes nobody. What
under the sun is the treasurer waiting
forg- Turner Fails Reporter. r.
Nevada papers, instead OF speaking of
deceased citizen as being widely and
favorably known, remark: "There wasn't
a saloon keeper in the state who didn't
ache to trust him
At Parsian hotel during the exposi-
ton: Maddened guest: Sixteen francs for
a candle2 Courteous host: No, sir, one
franc for the caEdle; fifteen francs for the
sandlCstick, MILFORD.
In the lobby Of an Irish inn the follow
ing inscription is painted on the wall in
conspicuous letters: mo person will get
credit for whisky in this house but those
who pay money down."
Brandy has been made from sawdust.
Ice is packed in sawdust, and that is whv
50 manv water! drinkers became intexicat-
ed. It is the sawdust on the Ice that
makes the good man reel.
The Graphic reiterates the assertion that
it is only the female honey-bee which
carries singer, but are men to respect
rex when half dozen bees are trying to
squeeze down behind a No. Is collar?
T handkerchief business must be
stopped. The Rochester Egpress says:
"Some fellows are so sensitive that man
cannot blow his nose without their think
ing he is trying to 1irt with their girl.
When an English paper captures an
American joke it chops off the head,
ehisels out the point, sets it up backward
and gives it's readers dish of wisdom
that tastes like fresh meat after long
sea voyage.
''When the squallen home ward flies" is
usually when good marksman lodges
backing brush on the starboard quarter
OF the high tenor of the Fezis troupe IN
the back yard.-Philadetphio Bulletin.
'Doctor, DOCTOR" painted a messenger,
'come down the street, quick; there's a
man dropped in fit In an apoplectic?"
questioned the doctor" mo, sir: he's in
a duster," answered the messenger.
Never under any circumstances marry
for money. Be very careful, though, to
find out beforehand that the girl has
plenty of it to have induced you to mar
ry her for money if you had been that
sort of a feIlow.-LouisvsUe Courier
Journal.
Another advantage in moonlight nights
for lovers is that the brightest radiance
enables the young men to perceive the
sign Of the dangerous ice-cream saloon
from a remote distance, and consequently,
by turning down some other street, save
himself.
"What is your religion. Mr.. Gibber?''
asked the landlady Of her new boarder.
"Meat three times day." was the reply
that startled the good woman, and put
her in a reverie as to whether the man
was heather or had misunderstood the
question.
A book farmer was sitting under a tree
in one corner of his grain field a few
mornings since, reading in very loud
tone a pamphlet report Of the Beecher-
Tilton trial. He explained that the
weather was very hot, and he was irving
a new plan to ''shock" his wheat. :
At funeral in Ireland the clergyman
had not been informed of the sex Of the
deceased He ACCORDINGLY leaned over IN