Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1878-08-01
Wit and HztD1O7'.


'F We know little about sporting matters
es but the weather clerk has evidently VOL
'c the heat.
:. s.What will the next year bring forth; 2
~ asks an exchange. Bring Fourth of July
> of course.
i, The old familiar lines are now writer
as follows ale folded his tent like a bank
p cashier, and silently stole away"
,e Did YOU ever notice how surprised you
d were when you put your foot on the next
is stair and found there wasn't any there?
" Professionalism you multiply together
lie concrete numberS:" The class are uncer-
lie tain. Prof. - "What will be the product
; OF five apples multiplied by six potatoes p
d Freshman (triumphantly) -"IIash."
h did you ever dabble in stocks?" asked
g Il lawyer witness who was known to
s have fled from his native land to this
y asylum of the free. well. yes. got my
g foot in 'em once in the old country" was
n the reply.
+ The persistcncy with which school boy
will go fishing and catch nothing is only
eGtlalcd by the unsuccessful efforts of a
..heotllcn Clince' to collect Il w:lshing-bill
from an impecunious editor.
A Western stump orator, in the course
/, of one of his speeches. remarked: Gen
tlemen. if the ParsytiX Ocean wor an ink
/, stand. and the hull canopy of heaven and
, the level ground of orr yearth wor a sheet
. of paper, couldn't begin to write my love
Of country onto it,
The following is San Francisco advcr-
tiscmcnt: correspondence is solicited
from bearded ladies. Circassians. or other
female curiOsties, who, in return for a true
heart and Il devoted husband. would travel
durng.thc summer months. and allow him
to take money at the door"
At recitation in ancient history, an
authenticated student. tempted thereto by
the assertion that 1.-The Egyptians were in
the habit of sacrificing re,-headed girls to
the devil" puts the question: "What did
they do with the red-hea'ed boys?" and
the Professor answers unto him: They |
supposed they would go of their own ac-
cord.''
Sir Robert Peel, speaking of Lord H.
don. said ''t!at even his tailings leaned to
virtues sdc:'' upon which bystander
observed that his Lordship's failings re-
sembled the leaning tower of Pisa. which,
in spite of its long inclination, had never
yet gone over.
Did the prophet Isaiah ever eat at rail-
road station? 1t certainly looks so. for
how could he have described it so liter lily
if he had not? .'And he shall snatch on
the right hand and be hungry; and he
shall eat on the left hand, and shall {
not be satisfied"
In response to the question. "Where
does the cholera usually originator a
smart undergraduate says: ''In Asia. b.
lieve. though my own experience is that it
takes its origin in the stomach:'' and the ,
professor rewards him thus: NO refer 9
ence has been made to cholera inElntllm.'
a young lady of six summers rushed G
into her mothers presence the other Sun 6
dry with the remark. Mother. wonders I
never will cease 'Why, my dear:'' I
Why, Mr.. and Mrs. W. are sitting on the 6
porch talking just as though they weren't |
married. /
An Oxford professor of Biblical criti-
cism recently put to his class the question I
whether they could think OF any reason (
why the grave OF Moses should have been
so strictly concealed. and a simple youth. e
who unfortunately stammered. thought it t
must be ''be-hecause they would t-take him
W and st-stuff him.
''Now go to meeting. dear" said Mrs.
T.. as her boy stood smoothing his hair. e
preparatory to going out on Sunday. A p
fishing line hung ont of his pocket. He n
looked down at lis new shoes, and a :.
thought OF the woods and fields made him l.
sigh. 'Where shall 60 e asked the boy. d
''Go?' replied she, sublimely. as she pull /
ed down his trousers behind, Ego any :
where where the Gospel is dispensed =
with Such liberality is rare. 1
The toughest lien story that las yet ap- Ii
peared comes from California, and the feat II II
performed is narrated below by the Wat !.
sonyllle Parfaronian: "a gentleman well s,
known in this section owns lot of hens. o
One OF them few weeks ago commenced y
laying in the woOd-pile, her nest being sit I.
lated between two sticks of wood, placed
far enough apart so that as fast as an egg
vas laid it would drop onto the ground,
at least two feet below. After laying ten O
or fifteen eggs the hen commenced setting
on the hole between those two sticks of
wood, the eggs being on the ground be-
low. two feet distant. Three weeks passed
by. and eleven of those eggs Matched sue
cessfllly! Will SORE scientist explain this
phenomenon Certainly, it's a lie.
Yesterday evening a woman followed
her husband into a saloon on one, of the
Dystreets in this city, picked him up by -
The right car between her thumb and fin y
ger and leading him out on the sidewalk.
him over the head with an UNI
)rella until she battered it to pieces re-
marking: Fool me, will you! Break
TOur pledge, and then come home end
Freak my head when I'm asleep: Not
much, you won't. Now meander,'' said
he, ''ard when we get home we will have -
his thing settled" We saw him this "
and he looked as if he had been
through two or three cyclones. ah
1ouyaat. ns
Mr.. l.. II. Smith, of Strathroy. Ont, has
dog named Paris, which he values mt
100000. lie is an English setter-that il,
he dog is an English setter and to a man IN
Tho has been properly raised, 100000 is re
lmost no price. all for him - indeed, =:
we're II not Tor certain DeCunlarV CircIm- c6l
tances not necessary to mention here, hi
ir. Smith could just as easily value him at :;
zoe, 900 as at half that sum. just think OF al
Il dog that is actually worth a planta~ fol
on of ,OO3 acres of bluegrass land at $50 y
n acre, stocked with 500 head of hC rses at %,