New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1878-04-17

The golden city of Jerusalem.
4 Little Advice by Josh Billings.
Dear girls are you in search of al hus-
band?
That is pumper. and you are not re-
quested to say ''Yes" out loud, but arc
expedited tew throw yure eyes down onte
the earth as tho you was looking for pin
and reply tew the 1nterrogatery with a
kind OF draulin sigh.
Not tew press so tender theme until
it bekums thorn in the flesh, we will
presumed ew avoid argument) that you are
on the lookout for something in the male
line. Let me give you sum small chunks
ov advice how to spot your future hus-
band:
/. The man who is Jealous every
little attenshun which you get from sum
other fellow yu wud find after yu are
married to MIN he luvs himself more than
he duz you, and what you mistook for
solissitude yu will discover has changed
to Indifference
Jellosy isn't heart diseze, it is liver
complaint.
2. A mustash is not Indispensable; it
is only a little more hair, and is much
like moss and other excressences-- often
doz the best on sile that won't raise any
thing else. Don't forget that those things
which you admire i'll fellow before
marriage you will probably dislike in a
husband after, and mustach will Get to
be a very week diet after long time.
3. If husbands colld be took on trial,
as IRISH cooks are, thirds ov them
would probably be returned; but there
don't seem to be emmy law for this
Thefore, girls, you will see that after WI
git man yu have got to keep him, even
if you log On him. Consequently,
if .yu have got emmy kold yittles in
the house, try him on them once in
while during securing season, and if he
swallers them we'll, and seq he will take
sum more, be IL a man who, when blue
Monday Gums, will wash we'll.
4. Don't marry rheller who is alwus
tellin how his mother doz things. It IL
too hard to ween yung one.
5. If a young man can beat yu play
ing on a pianner and kant hear a fish,
horn playing ON the street with
out turning summersault on account Of
the music that is in him, say leave him;
he might answer to tend babe, and if yu
set him hoeing out the garden, you will
find that you have got to do it yourself.
A man whoze whole lleft lies in musick
(and not too hefty at that ain t no better
than a seedlitz powder; but if he luvs to
listen while yu sing sum gentle ballad,
WI viii ind oil
But don't marry emmy hody for just one
virtew emmy quicker than you would dop
man for jjst one fault.
6. 1t is one Of the most tutfest things
for a female to be an old maid successful
~. A great many has tried it and made
a BAD job of it, and had hard time.
Every body seems to look upon old maids
jist as they do upon dried herbs in the
garret-handy for sickness-and there
fore, girls, it ANITA mistake that you shud
be willing to swop opis with some true
hearted phellow for a husband. The swop
liz good one; but don't swop for any
man who is respectable jist because his
father is. You had better be an old maid
for 1900 years, and then, join the Shakers,
than tew buy repentance. at this price.
didn't get either phocl, mean Gus, or
a clown, for husband
T. In digging down into this subject
find the digging goes harder the further
get. 1t is much easier to inform WI
who not to take, for tie reason there is
more of them.
l don't think you Will foller my advice
if give it, and therefore 1 will keep it,
for look upon advice as do casaor-ile
"a mean dose to take and a meanb dose
to girc. But must say one thing, girls
or spite. If you can find hteyed,
we'll Dalusted boy who looks u pom pow
erty az sassy az child looks upon riches
who had rather, sit down upon the
curbstonc in front Of the Fifth Avenue
Hotel and eat a ham sandwieh, then go
inside and run in debt for his dinner and
toothpick-and who is a man with sort
Of pluck that mistakes a defeat for victory
mi advice is to take him body and soul
snare him at onst, for he is a, stray trout,
a breed very skarse i'll our waters.
l