The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1878-10-09
A Distinguished Visitor /.

peeks sun.
The Sun Office is in receipt of MANY
calls, but no more distinguished looking
man has been in than the one who came
In on Monday. It is a settled habit with
us TO treat every person cordially, and
not to be outdone in anything socially.
If man were to come in with griey-
ance or a club, ana desired, above all
things, to erect a head upon the editor,
we should rec i've him with cordially,
give him a check for his club for the
time being, set out bottle Of wine, and
gradually draw him outon the subject of
finance and other great questions, pre-
vious to throwing him down stairs. Po-
likeness is never thrown away, an ] there
IL NO person so humble but that be ap-
preciates q pleasant word, or cordial
shake of the hand. And in these days
you can't tell by mans appearance,
what is in him. A. tramp may be cloth
ed IN purple ink ON u fine linen ulster,
or the millionaire may be dressed as a
tramp. So it is safest to receive warm
iy, any person who calls. On Monday
the door opened and d smiling face peer
ed in. lis George mr. asked the visitor,
I e<I~'~ iSs " fiCAO HUH lIlS Chill
to his hair, was one good natured laugh
Of welcome.
AS the good natured sexton OF the e.
ilce directed the visitor to our groom, We
instinctively dropped our writing, stop
ping III the midstofa1 e Tito rIal,and bot
tied up ideas that were floating from the
spigot at a great rate. The man walked
IN and sat his box down on our mahog-
ony desk, the brass nails grating the var
!. rish Off, and the visitor took our hand In
both Of his, gazed into our soft brindle
eve with a look of mingled love, admir-
! alton aud devotion. He was a thickset
dark completed man, alfred in a linen
buster, which covers multitude OF sins
at times. We could not place him, ex-
actly, though he seemed to know us like
! book. Squeezing our hand like wom-
| an he said he had long looked forward to
this day. He said ne expected TO see a
| large fat man, and we must excuse MIN
for being surprised at finding thin,
emaciated, homely man in the editorial
chair. He seemed familiar with us. but
we couldn't tell where we had met him
before. In some respects he resernbled
| member OF the legislature, and then he
had tile air Of a circus agent. He might
be railroad superintendent, or g. high
officer of the government. Any way, he
was q distinguished guest and we babe
him be seated. He said he wss in a hur-
~. and he began to open his box, saying
that he was introducing an article.
AS he fumbled at the lock OF the case
we wondered what was in it, 1t might be
q case Of dueling pistols, it might be d
lot OF government bonds, or he might be
the agent Of some millionaire that had
died, and left us much money, and it was
with anxiety that we awaited the opening
of the box EM a
Finally the top of the burial case be-
| came loosened, and the Ind flew up, and
he said there was few hundred corns and
bunions that he had removed from peo-
| pies feet, and he wanted to know if we
had any to remove. Heavens, what fall
was there, me countrymen! Of all the
disgusting sights in tie world, a eoliee.
ton OF coGns and bunions is the worst.
and as we reached around for a lemon to
ward off sea-sick ness, he began to tell
about them. He picked up bunion
about the size Of peach basket, and said
he removed that from the foot of Young
lady living on Van Buren, street Ifthere
is one thing we won't stand, it is to hear
man SANDER girl, and knowing that the
girl mentioned wore number
one shoe, and that she couldn't
have raised that bunion unless.
she raised it in a hot house, we decided
to kill him at once, so we touched q wire
connected with a can of nitro glycerine
under the chair in which the bunion man
was seated, and there was an explosion.
Pieces of linen buster were found up by
the water-works, and parties who came
across the lake on the Amazon said they
noticed peculiar looking scales raining
down, about half way across the lake,
though there was lot cloud to be seen.
1t was corns and bunions No one regrets
more than we do the necessity of resort
ing to harsh measures to break up this
hab t Of speaking Ill of respectable girls,
and when we think how pleasantly he
spoke to US, as how GLAD he was, it
causes q momentary sadness, but some
one must do these disagreeable things
Peace to his fragments. If the coroner
holds an inquest on every banion and
corn that is found, that will be the best
paving office in the city.