St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1878-12-20
Squibs.
Observation-Disclosures.
Maid to Order-A table-girl.

Observation-Disclosures.
Maid to Order-A table-girl
There is no poetry in the light fan
tastic toe that wears Il corn.--N. o.
Picayune.
Professor: 'Does yOur coat represent
debt 7" Student: "Yes-yes, | s'pose it
oes."-Haruard AduOcate.
The almanacs say, ''About this time
begin slippers for the minister"
Positive, wait comparative, waiter;
superlative, get it yourself.
A society for the aid of escaped con-
victs will soon he in order.-LOUeH
Courier.
Talmage says smoking leads to drink
ing. So does salt Goldfish.
The world is made up of two classes
those who chew their oysters and p
those who swallow them whole.
Mrs. Whitney's "Key to the Cook
Book" is a good work, but it is not half
as satisfactory, when a man is hungry,
as the key to the pantry.
We were very sensitive about good
behavior when boy. 1t always brought
tears into our eyes to see naughty boy
III school put red pepper on IL hot stove.
-New York Mail.
The New York Herald NAV have
meant something when it said: "No
blame should attach to medical stu
dents who provide themselves with
bodies for dissection. They will more
than replace them when they begin to
practice"
The only fault Montreal critic finds
with Wilhelmj us an artist is that his
''objectivity of artistic instinct suffers
from the performances of his subiec-
tivity." We thought the same when we
heard him play here but didn't like to
discourage the young man.-BOStOn
Post.
The Sunday scholar may still
increasingly toll on with the problems
in his catechism, and yet limp on the
answer to the first question but give
him fair chance at one session of
circus, and, if he can't sing the chorus
es of all the clowns songs and whistle
the air of the first part, he is not Amer
ican.-BurlingtOn Ha,okeye.
Master Charlie and his family are
spending few days at the house of
that promising artist, Mrs. Vandyke
Brown. Mrs. V. B.: "Well, Charlie,
why are you looking so hard at that
picture 7" Charlie: "Why, mamma
says that every time she looks at this
| picture it makes her sick, and thought
I'd see if it would me.n-Haruard LAM
pOOn.
| HOME TALENT.
[From the Springfield Republican,
A ChicOpee small boy declined to eat
soup at dinner the other day, on the
ground that he ''hadn't any teeth that
were little enough for soup"
Years ago the Boston and Albany
railroad made rule that passengers
should not ride on tickets intended to
be used in the opposite direction from
that in which they were journeying.
One day the conductor came to a we'll
dressed middle-aged lady, just after
leaving worcester on the western bound
express, who handed him a ticket from
Palmer to Worcester. He protested
that, although very sorry, the rules of
the company wouldn't allow him to
take that ticket for moment. The
lady SAID that she had bought it in
good faith, but had never before had an
opportunity to use it, and intimated,
with studied pOliteness, that all such
regulations were senseless. And final
ly she remarked, 81 am willing to ride
backward all the way, if that will be
any comfort to you" He took the
ticket.
Bradford street youth of tender
years, who finds great delight in play
ing on an imaginary "peany," was ask
ed the other day to play "The Girl 1
Left Behind Me" by a big brother,
, whose thoughts probably tended that
way. But the youngster quick ly
squeezed the poetry out of the thing by
trying to sing, at the top of his voice,
"The Boy That Went Behind the Girl. u
His friends have asked the special
favor OF having the locality kept out OF
the papers, but it was Oh the last Sum
day IN November that Sunday school
superintendent, not a great way off, in
speaking of the lesson of the week he
fore, said that it was about "The re-
publicans and sinners"
Some of the River road brakemen
speak their words plainly while calling
OH the stations others do not. After
leaving the first station north of Hol-
yoke, not long ago, a passenger inuuir-
ed very earnestly of a neighbor what
place that was. "Smith's Ferry.n was
the ready reply. ''Oh ~ said he, with a
sigh OF relief, 81 thought the brakeman
called it Necessary"
The laugh has gone around at the ex-
pense OF a State street young man be-
cause he was overheard to say that he
wished he had the facilities for a cur-
tain lecture"
The people'of representative dis
trict between here and the Vermont
me send man to the General Court
TINS winter who is a "real good fellow >
, out Is not endowed with a surplus OF
Drain power. On the morning after his
election a constituent, learned in the
law' remarked, "We might just as well
nave sent Il pumpkin seed down tbaro