The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-03-02
VARIETIES.


"A little charmer-A young rattle
snake.
To keep yourself warm-Keep the
fire coaled.
The fashion critics are hopping it
up to bustles.
The best time to answer letter is
Immediately.
The decadence of the clinging skirt
is announced.
Beautiful women eau always afford
to dress simply.
-" Mortified bruise" is new Paris
ian shade of blue.
Any material with rough threads is
called 'bourette.
Its never too late to marry-if your
children don't object
Advice is seldom liked; those who
need it most like it least.
I'm single county in Georgia sew
enty-fve mad dogs were recently killed.
"A young lady in the Black Hills
has had 275 offers of marriage in a
year.
The india-rubber manufacturers
seem to be men of very elastic con-
sciences.
YES" said the old reprobate; 81
always recognize water when see it
it looks just like gin!'
Young women are advised to set
good examples, because young men
are always following them.
If girl wants to fetch her beau,
let her give him pinch of snuff. That
will bring him to his sneeze at once.
The Legislature of Virginia has de-
cided that it is more expedient to pay
the debt of the State in whisky than in
specie.
The style of dressing hair with the
ladies is about an even thing now be-
tween the door-knob and pitcher-han-
die pattern.
Does it seem the correct thing for
glee club to sing under lady's win
dow as a serenade, Darling, you are
growing old?
Senior is questioned: "What is the
name of that lady to whom you are en-
gaged?'' Senior blandly responds:
(Which one?"
Nothing can equal the envious look
of the young man with the frail mus
tache as he studies the picture of the
late Victor Emmanuel.
1t is the same with oysters in
church-fair stew as with young people
in love-two are company and three
are a crowd. - Worcester Press.
The fool seeketh to pluck fly from
a mules hind leg; the wise man letteth
the job out to the lowest bidder. West
Jersey Press.
Gail Hamilton says one can be a
daughter, sister, friend, without i'm
parchment of ones sagacity, but it's a
dreadful Endorsement of man to marry
him.
Mary Clemmer says that the woman
suffragists whom she saw in Washing
ton were to other women as gnarled
oaks and bright snapdragons among
lilies.
"A lady in Sedalia, Mo-, before sub
hitting to a dangerous surgical opera
ton, prepared an elaborate and beauti-
full outfit of grave clothes-but she re-
covered.
"A Boston husband disguised HIM
self and called on his wife. She soon
fell in love and in three weeks ran
away with him. She found out-they
live separately.
-" What's the difference" asked
the teacher in arithmetic, "between
one yard and two yards?' ga fence"
said Tommy Beales. Then Tommy sat
on the ruler fourteen times.
There is style'' among the ladies
of Alaska as well as anywhere else
They grease their noses with a mixture
of oil and coal-dust, and the blacker
the nose the more stylish it is.
"A knitting machine has just been
invented which knits pair of stockings
complete at cost of mill for labor
cent for twenty pairs. Yet they say
the S. S. of Michigan wears none.
-"Who are the bloated bondhold-
er?'' inquiries the New York Commercial
advertiser. Ask us the opposite of that
question, sir, and we shall speak out in
thunder tcnes.-Bufalo ErpreSS.
Kentucky beats them all. She now
furnishes case where man eloped
with whole family except the old man,
who had lame back, and couldn't get
to the depot in time.-Free Press.
"A national politician, according to
the New York Herald, does not know
his business until he is forty. 1t is an
other way of saying, we suspect, that
the good die young.-Bu6alo Courier.
An Illinois doctor wants the news
papers to spread the information that
Goldfish is sure preventive of diphthe-
ria. This explains why the disease never
becomes epidemic in a clearinghouse.
Paul Leonard and his son of the
same name, pensioners of the war OF
1872, aged 107 and eghty-fve years re-
pectively, are living together at st.
Scholastique, Ont.
Agricultural labor occupies BOG
women in New York State: One woman
is bee-raiser; 40 are dairy women; g.
139 are farmers on their own account
So are florists, and 60 are gardeners.
The city of Montgomery, Ala, pays
tramps twenty-five cents day for work
ing on the streets. The discovery has
been made that some who are not
fraOonS are Willino tn UorE Gov tb az