The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-10-10
Humorous.

IL uoo
1t is luck to pick up a horseshoe,
unless, of course, it happens to be at
tached to mules hind leg.
Cucumber socials are in order if you
like to go to cramp meetings. The
agony is in tents.-Ne1c York Netcs.
Whene're you go hunting for snipe,
Russ,
Take care you don't Popoff in Cy-
prus -COu'ierJ0uYat.
A small boy and a gun are harmless
when apart, but they make terrible
combination -Pucb.
What sort of dough will make bac-
kako Htcheusack Rep0Jiicaa. 4 tor
nadough.- NeO Haren Register.
If it cost anything to go to church
people who never go now would run
around like wild men for free passes.
Hindoo society is divided into sever
al distinct classes; and nothing can
Hindoos them TO associate with one
another.
The popular demand for three cent
beer shows that man not only wants
little here below, but wants that little
cheeper.
eyes" sighed the doctor, cts been
very healthy summer and business is
unusually dull, but, thank goodness,
the watermelon season will be here i'll
few days"
Mary had little lamp,
Twas filled with kerosene,
She blew right down the chimney
And vanished from the scene.
"Take back the heart that thou CAV
est" as the gambler said to his pal,
who had passed him under the table
the wrong card TO fill the tlush.-Puck.
Somebody has discovered that when
ever the grain is cut and hauled in, the
tramp makes his appearance on the
stubble and demands work or bread
BrOOhrHle Democrat.
Michigan thunder jars the nheels off
wagon. Free Press. Don't it do
something toward lightning the load ?
philadelphia Bulletin.
Old man Toll never before realized
that he had such large family. Eel
lows that haven't seen him for years
and years are now claiming kinship,
The boy who swabs his little legs
And bathes them with lotion,
Has rambled in the underbrush
And poisoned Ivy notion.
--Cmci,su9H !Satt0'laY Night.
1t was woman who first taught man
to climb, and steel, and eat apples, but
she denies that she ever taught him to
make applet jack, drink it, and come
home from the lodge drunk.
Olive Logan says that the next SEN
sation is to be about ladies stockings.
Probably Olive knows some fellow who
is going to elope with a pair with wo-
man in them.
lightning struck gospel tent in
this city on Sunday and killed little
girl. Preachers attempted to explain
the event by saying the electric fluid
mistook the place for a circus.
jeff Davis is represented as DESTROYS
of representing Mississippi in the
United States Senate. 1t is possible
that JEFF has an idea of becoming the
Ben Butler of the South.
1t is said that if Grant ever visits
Germany again he will be assassinated.
The infurated Tutons have Just learned
that the General stuck up his nose at
Limberger cheese.
Norrstown Herald: The London
Lancet says blow on the e r has often
ruptured the drum and warns parents
against boxing childrens ears. You
can get more music ont of a child by
applying the slipper couple of feet
below the drum
81. AiJaaS AlrerhSer: A lady writing
from one of the fashionable watering
places declares that the low-neck dress
is an abomination into which it is the
duty of the press to look. Look No,
sir; if any such abomination approach
es US, well call the police.
A little three-yesr-old girl who vol
unteered to say grace at the table did
so rs follows:
90, Lord, Dress the things We
eat; Dress mamma, and papa, and
gramma, and grampa and here, cast
ing up her eyes to her grandfather in
the next seat and discovering that he
was smiling, the little one closed her
prayer by saying; behave yourself,
grampa--for Christ's sake. Amen
Courtship in Portugal is queerly con
,ducted. When a young man over there
gets sweet on girl, he never hints ice
cream once, but stands around the curb
stone in the broiling sun and permits
the damsel to feast her eyes on him
from an upper window. If the girl
heave painful Of ashes on him, he
concludes that his actresses are not re-
luired, and moves on to the next
house.
letter To Wharf.-The Detroit Free