Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1878-07-18
NASRY
The Commune in the COrners---An At
tempt to EqUaILze Things by a Dtvis-
Toledo Blade.

Toledo Blade
CoNFEDRIT X ROADS,
WIcH IS IN THE STATE w KENTUCKY,
Jooly l, 1873.
The finansheI condishun Nv the Cor
ners is, and hez bin terrible sence the ty-
rant Linkin emansipated our niggers, and
the tothor tyrant Grant refoozed US the
control of the fedrel patronage. The peo-
pie saw that gradually the entire wealth
NV the Corners was centerin in the
hands NV the bIoatid monopolists, Bascom
and Pollock. Bascom wuz gradooa1ly alb
sorbin all the capftle NV the Dimocrisy,
for he delt in the goods they yoose, and
our march to beggary was stiddy and in
exorabIe. We coodent work, Becoz the
native white Kentuckian il averse to work,
and likker he must hev. We kin git on
with a very little bread, but likker is a
very prime necessity, and there is no es-
cape from it. And so, ez we wuz perdOos-
in nothin, and must live, Bascom he'd got
mortgages onto all our property, and he
wuz gradually absorbin everything NV
valoo. How to pervent this hez bin the
problem wich we hev discussed between
drinks for yeers. And lately, ez Bascom
hez abandoned the credit system, and in
sists upon cash jist before takin a drink to
pervent mistakes and MISUNDERSTANDING,
we hev he'd plenty nv time to discuss these
pints. ~ ...
The Communists nv Moo York solved
the problem for us. The idee NV dividin
up all the property ekally, and abilishin at
one sweep both the creditor and the debt
or class, NV hevin everybody share ekally
not only all the property, but the gains NV
biznis, struck us ez percisely wat we
wanted, and we determined to karry it
into effect.
Deekin Pogram objectid at first, for he
sed he didn't quite see why he shood give
up his farm; but L showd him ez Bascom
held mortgage onto it for more than it
wuz wuth, that it wood, under the pres
ent nefarious and oppressive system, in
evitably pass into his hands in a few short
months, it woodent make any difference
anyhow. He consented, ez did Issaker
Gavitt, whose mortgage falls due in a
month, and so did Capt. McPelte, wich
hez recently borrowed a large sum NV a
Moo England insurance company.
Bascom objectid and Pollock obiectid,
and we felt it necessary to yoose force.
We organized, and after resolvin that cap
ital wuz robbery and whoever had more
wealth than any one else wuz a thief, we
moved onto Bascom and Pollock. Me and
Issaker Gavitt and Deekin Pogram wuz
appintid committee to divide the prop
erty up ekitably.
1t wuz very simple process. There
wuz exactly four hundred present wich
we considered entitled to dividends, and
all we he'd to do wuz to inventory their
goods and divide 'em up. And we did it,
Bascom he'd on hand eggactly two barls
NV likker, besides wat wuz in the bottles
on the bar, wich the committee consumed
to support 'em doorin the division. Their
wuz eighty-four gallons nv Iikker, to be
DIVIDED into four hundred. In two barls
there's about six hundred and seventy
two pints, wich made trif1e over pint
and a half to each Communist. We di-
vided it up, each man gittin his pint and
a half, wien WIZ promptly drunk on the
spot. For an hour after the last drop dis
appeared the citizens was enthusiastic
over the idee and Communism wuz voted
great success.
At POllOck's we he'd more trouble. He
he'd about four hundred yards nv calico
on hand, wich we divided up given eech
man yard. There wuz only two hun
dred pares Nv shoes, so eech one only GOT
one shoe apiece. The sugar and molasses
Hidn 5f do +
wastid largely in DRAWN. The woelen
goods wuz divided up like the caIicos, and
give EN- about yard apeece. The agri-
cultooral implements we divided up by
rattle, ez ther wuzn't plows enuff to &C
around, and we coodent divide pillow.
We got Bascom and Pollock communed
in about an hour, and the Corners post
poned dividtn up the real estate til
mornin.
The citizens met at Bascom's early il
the mornin to finish. The Deekin called
upon Bascom to set EN- up, ez he heC
sold plow wich he had won at the di
vision of Pollock's property, to a nigge
farmer for four dollars, and he triumph
antly showed the money so that Bascon
shood hev no hesitashen in settin NV i
out.
elbow kin l set out likker,'' answered
G. W., Ewhen L amt got none? Yoo di
vided it up yesterday afternoon
''But yoo wuz agoin to hev a fresh 10
in from Louisville last night" returne
the Deelzin.
'sI wuz,' replied Bascom, ''but coun
termandid the order. | shan'S keep n
more likker in the Corners till you gi
some settled noshuns NV finance. don
like this dividin biznis. Yoo had bette
turn around and find some one who didn
t drink his pint and half, and make hir
divide with them ez did consoom the
share. | don't see how 700 kin stop tn
: noshun, after it's once startid.''
That wuz hOpelis. Every mothers so
l NV em he'd drank his share on the spO
t and ther wuzn't drop to be he'd for loN
e or money. And ther wuz four hundre
/ men, all NV EN- waitin for their mOrni
t starter, and not drop to be he'd. An
e ther sat Bascom, the only man wich coo
S furnish it to us, smilin at our agony,
: calm ez a summer mornin. And when
l. pulled a pint flask from his pockit al
d took his drink with the remark that
9 he'd bin prudent enuff to save that,
: stung us to madnis.
: FINELY Bascom sed that the ikker th
n he he'd ordered wuz reely in the Corner
e but that he he'd conceded it till he coo
Is know suthin NV wat wuz to happen
: him. And we compromised. We agree
Is to return to the old ways-tO compensa
e him for the likker we he'd consoomed Il
e mite afore, and to postpone the regenr
It shun NV the world, at least six month
re and to give him a months motifs afore '
s commenst agin. On these condishuns