The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-04-09
HUMOROUS AND OTHERWISE.

who cannot sec the chasm that exists between
the truthful and poetical methods OF inculca-
ton. "The demands OF truth are severe She
has no sympathy with the myrtles. All that
which Is 30 indispensable in song is precisely
all that with which she has nothing whatever
to do" What Poe said Of poetry, 1t seems,
applies with equal force to humor- is ii
we are to take the funny man Of the New
York Times as an illustration. Certainly the
ultimate object of his humor is not truth and
as the purpose of the Times is not to ferret
out the facts in connection with the timber
policy of Schurz, the whole subject is turned
ever to the funny man Of the paper, who,
under the license OF the protested humorist,
is engaged In erecting the Montana pioneer
and the "Calcasieu sufferers into types of
national humor and eccentricity. and at the
expense Of all facts, reason, law and justice.
In delegating Its Jester to speak for it the
Times, Of course accepts the conditions under
which all fools are laughed at for their folly,
as well as With for their wit
These few predatory observations by wayof,
acknowledgment Of some attentions we have
recently received at the hands of the Times
clown. Some time ago the DEMOCRAT pub
lished an editorial denouncing Schurzs tim
Der policy and the atrocities and outrages 1t
had operated in Calcasieu. This editorial the
funny man of the Times makes the text of one
of his hum orous. essays, and In dealing with
the subject he has, Of course, with the true in
stincts Of the professed humorist, made all
things subserve the purposes OF the grotesque
and ludicrous. But he has been generous
withal, and has made the Times infinitely
more ridiculous than the DEMOCRAT. Per-
haps the finest stroke OF humor In his
article-and It Is one we can liken
only to that historic piece of humor perpe-
trated by the monkey that climbed the pole,
the striking popularity of which was the
higher the monkey climbed the broader and
more apparent the point Of the joke became
Is that which describes the "plmps and spies
of the distinguished Prussian" asserting logs
and the "despot" rs ordering them sold,with-
out the Intervention of the courts and by vir-
tue solely of his authority as a Cabinet Min
lister. There are few passages Of American
humor equal to this, 60 we must be pardoned
for republishing it bodily. Referring to the
DEMOCRAT, the humorist comments as fol-
lows:
Says the Louisiana CENSOR "the Calcasieu
sufferers found themselves unable to bond the
property sequestered." Now. "seGuestered
| Is good word. The Calcasieu sufferers had
been engaged In The laudable enterprise Of
cutting timber on the public lands. The logs
| had been RATED down the Calcasteu river,
| where numerous saW-mllls were buslly en-
ployed in turning them into lumber for ex-
port The pimps and spies OF the distin-
| guished Prussan before mentioned seized the
| logs, and the despot ordered that they should
be sold at public auction. This was done, and
the principal bidders we're the Sufferers, =.
who sadly purchased about $4,000 worth of
logs for which they were despotically obliged
to pay cash. The sufferers" In spite OF their
sufferings, were thus enabled to buy large
share OF "the property taken from them, and
the tyrannical government acting through
| its pimps and spies, purchased the remainder.
And it Is complained, with much acerbity,
that the government did not pay itself cash
for its sales to itself.
Now, this humor Is peculiarly American
One whose habits of thought had been formed
in accordance with the ideas that are incul-
Gated under the effete systems Of European
government could not begin to appreciate the
subtle humor, the regular high old fun, the
American will recognize in this cantankerous
conduct imputed to q Cabinet officer. "Now
'scauestered' is good word" OF course the
Times knew that there was no Federal
statute under which these timber operations
were authorized, and, therefore, that the gov
eminent has been proceeding in the matter
under our State laws and merely rs
the plaintiff in a common civil suit, and that
under these local laws and as q plaintiff claim
ing property it could only obtain the Sc
QUESTRATION of the logs, but these facts
| Il thn ~ ito hmm Of
There would not have been anything ludi
crous in describing an American Cabinet Min
lister az proceeding under these forms of law
To make the thing really laughable he mus
be made to come down with his Prussial
. methods his "pimps and spies, and seize log
. and order them sold by virtue of the authorit
> vested in the Department of the Int
: rior We fancy we can see Schur2
; as never Mast saw him in the widest flight
q OF his inspiration, goggles, legs and ALL sal
ing around in Calcasieu Selling logs on TIL
n strength Of the German vote and orderin
! them sold by virtue of the Southern policy {
cancellation. This Is very funny, and we onl
# regret that the German vote and the Souther
q policy are SO intangible that Mast can't us
d them for pictorial purposes and present to U
g In a cartoon tnat WHICH Is 50 cieaiiy rioioie
s our minds eye"
But badinage aside, what contemptuou
Is burlesque this twaddle OF the Times is @
, American republicanism. Here is a gres
e American newspaper, published In our M
tropolis and edited with signal ability, whic
X manifests an ignorance Of the rights OF pc
J. son and property and OF the laws OF the Ian
If that should shame q village pedagogue SIS
le questered' is good wordr' says this gres
!? journal, In contemptuous irony, as II q Seer
= ltary OF the Interior could come into SOY