The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1878-03-21

Posters, Cards, Invitations, Tickets, &c.
D oatly executed at this office, ,-CIIEAP
fOR DASH.
HE WENT BEHIND TIE RETURNS.
Ovor one eye was q piece of stick
ing plaster rs big as streot-car
ticket, and ono leg seemed to hest
tate and hitch along as though q
grain or two of gravel had somehow
got into the knee joint and made
trouble and dissatisfaction. His
boots were rs full of squeak as a
boarding house rocking chair, and
the heels were hedging around and
trying to climb up and sec what the
pantaloons were made of. His Dyes
had wandering, startled, half
frightened sort of look, and one Of
them seemed inclined to set up an
observatory on it's own account.
His noso had started out boldly
into the world, but after slight
progress had thought better Of it,
changed his mind and scooted for
aroused the curiosity of tho chin,
and it sailed out resolutely to find
out how matters stood. When they
came within hailing distance, both
organs seemed to take alarm at the
hostile appearance Of tho intcrven
ing chasm of q mouth, and halted
right where they were.
The man was very polite though
awlwardly SO, and pulled off his
napless, rusty stove pipe hat, with
n springy, nervous movement, the
instant he crossed tho door-sill. and
came forward with crouching,
hesitating air, seemingly fearful
that his intrusion might be unwar-
ranted He came to full stop
with bow that made his ribs rattle,
and asked with q voice afraid 10
como out all at once:
Is-the-editor-i 2"
He was.
"Be-you-he ?"
Such was the case.
BY this time the mans voice had
pretty much all got together, and
poured out with confidence:
''No print is shut up from you.
You're better acquainted with words
than am with my own relations.
They can't fool you. The minute
you clap your eyes on EN- you can
tell EN- by name, can't you? They
don't get start of you much, no
matter if they're rs big rs IL hog
blanket, do they ?"
Nary time they didn't.
"Thcn I'm in the right shop, and
needn't go any furdcr. I want
you to help mo out of II little mess.
AS we was sayin', you can't be fooled
by anything in the word business.
For instance, Il word that hadn't no
business in verse couldn't ring in
on you, could it? You'd collar it at
sight an pitch it out, an chuck in
tho right one, wouldn't you ?"
Most likely.
"Ah-hah ! I thought so. Now
we're comm to the scratch. You
see the trouble is just this, me nor
my ole woman neither one has much
book sense, but each ones got
their own idccs, and we freeze to
en- tighthor'n wax, If she says u
things 50, she'd loso every tooth in
her head afore she'd back water an
as for me, I'm purity much on the
same stump. We've been married
now risin' thirty year, and havo
grown children, but there's one pint
that we allus knock our heads
ogether on, an it's made us heaps
o trouble; we've skrimmaged over
it year arter year, but we'ro no
higher gittin it settled atween our
two selves to~day nor we was the
first year we was jincd. We've
wrangled and fused, an thrown up
one anothers relations, an overs
hauled our failin's no cend O times,
but no good Tn satisfied now we
can never settle it that way, an as
we're both old, an there's
no tcllin when orc or t'other
might drop off, T thought as
1T would be q mighty sight O
satisfaction to know afore that time
comes who's bcon right about it all
this while, amt it popped into my
head that we'd leave it to IN umpire,
an 80 git shut Of it for good an
SO after talkin' it over last hight,
pro an con, we've both elected YOU,
and my business here now is to get