, 1878-03-09
Etiquette.

uy ways of doing things; each, once stros
OF penins or Of love, now repeated and hart
ened into usage" And, again, this nice ol
server declares that good manners are mad
ND of petty sacrifices. These two statement
include both the essence and the substane
| of genuine politeness. 1t must have its rot
| in the feeling of kindness that it may tiowe
into the beauty of behavior. The oid-fast
ioned epithet "we!lbred" seems to us th
highest praise of mans or woman 8 coadrc'
There is . politeness which Is Of the snrfac
| only; there is an unblemished courtesy {
bearing which implies no real kindness {
| feeling: there is a smiling propriety OF speec
and action which is assumed with the DIRE
coat, and the artificial roses. and dotted a
easily as those lendings when the festive OK
casion is past But ones breeding IS ingram
Nitrogen and carbon, phosphorus and oxygen
have not more subtly fed and mingled Wit
the tissues, and built up the unconsciou
body through the years OF its nOn-age, tha
have all the moral forces wrought at thel
finer chemistry to make the spirit. In con
tact with the well bred person, you seem t
look back through that past which ha
moulded him, and to see a serene home, wit
gentle-voiced inmates, courteous OF speech
slow to anger, long suffering, in honor pre-
ferring one another. DIR. Franklin sand tina
nobody would take the trouble to dress care
fully ii he were certain to meet only biIn'
people. But the well-brel woman is tn
model of neatness and painstaAing in appear
ance-frst, no doubt, because she feels i
her duty to be an agreeable object in tn
eyes of all beholders. Yet, if she were IL
the midst of "Poor Richards" sightles
community, she would not lower her stand
ard of propriety in that regard. because he
breeding would compel her to be true to hel
own instinct of ladyhood. Being We'll bred
one must be free from those personal pecu
liarities which annoy spectators. The instinct
which prefers anothers comfort to one OWL
will have been developed by years of exercise
into the unconscious habit OF petty sacrifice
Thus, man who is ordinarily polite may bt
guilty of picking lis teeth after dinner Ii
the presence of the company; not that ht
means to be rude, but that the operation IL
question removes a disagreeable sensation
Bat the we'll bred man could never offend IL
that way, because he would instinctively
deny himself a qualification which must bt
purchased at the cost of possible annoyance
to Others Every awkwardness of manner,
as biting ones nails, sitting doubled up, ol
unduly drawn out, or on the small OF one:
back (which is said to be the American Gus
tom), whistling, eating too fast, or drinking
aadibly, talking iEdiStinctly, interrupting /
a speaker all these things and their evi
kind are anathema ma-anatha to good breed
ing, for the same simple reason that they oc
casion discomfort 20 somebody.
Yet, while the WE'LL bred person yields un
questioning obedience to these laws OF eti
quette, ne is capable OF heroic rebellion when
the form of politeness cannot contain the
spirit. 1t is related of an English king thai
he one day entertained a country squire al
dinner. Now, this was at time when al
English gentleman travelling in France re-
ported that the French cobblers displayed
better manners than most English peers, and
it may therefore be inferred that the behavior
Of the fgE-hunting rustic was not too edliy'
ing. When snipe was put upon his plate,
he seized 1t by the legs, and twisted them
off before picking the bones with his teeth.
The royal guests sat petriiied; the attend
ants gaped, wide-eyed. But the king, de
termined that the visitor should not he NOR
titled at his board, grasped his own snipe In
the same vigorous manner, and proceeded to
dispose of it without the aid of knife and
fork. 1t is only a well-bred man who could
protect the feelings of his guest at such a
cost. Conventional politeness would have
broken down. In this country the seeGs OF
courtesy spring up in barren soil Everybody
can recall instances of delightful manners in
persons whose early life has been passed
among coarse associations But always it is
use that doth breed habit in a man the
politeness of one generation, with its occa-
sionai flaws Of judgment or action, becomes
the good breeding OF the next, iiawless and
perfect. But it is perilous to permit constant
lapses from ones own highest conception OF
courtesy. As he would not allow himself a
daily dissipation Of ornate falsehoOds who
was striving to deyelop an absolute truthful
ness OF speech, or as he would refuse diet
of carbon who was laborlng to reduce his
flesh, so the seeker after good manners musi
avoid right-hand fallings off and left-hand
defections. One cannot be habitually rude
to helpers yet always polite to equals. oil
graceful in public, while slouching and awk
ward in private, or ostensibly considerate
and generous, and secretly selfish and mean
or fastid GUS and tasteful abroad, and untidy
and vulgar at home. Whether We consent
OF not, our manners are test and revelation
of our nature And that person whose laud
able ambition it is to he thought wel-bred
has the simple and certain way to success
within his reach-it is to be well-bred.