The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-10-15
SUEBEAMS.
IN upright man-The postman.

oret.
A sign of the tines--"Eutcs & shuze
neatly half Sold"
The two handsomest girls in New York
are Ellie Cant and Sue Peril.
A novel sight-Piles of yellow-covercd
literature on a newsstand.
Time is money; Of course 1t is, o2 how
could you spend an evening"
When was Caesar like the United Statess
When he annexed Calphurnia, OF course.
''Why is an honest bankrupt the same as
dishonest oney" Because they both fail
to make money.
long man trying to whisper to short
girl, reminds us of the letter walking
with a period. .-Keokak Constitution.
new solution of the old problem of
squaring the circls-getting q square meal
from round steak.
Josh Billings says "There aip't any
thing that will completely cure laziness,
though q second wife has baen known to
hurry him soms"
French hote-kcerer recently brought
in bill of 81 400 against the estate of a
man who had died at his hotel for injury
to the room by dying il it."
An observing young gentleman of al-
most three years, said, during pause in
the conversation: "Alrs. Jones, let your
teeth down again. ."-Erchange
Ten millions of hair pins are manufac.
tured in this country annually and yet
they are not sufficient to prevent hair from
getting i'll the butter now and then.
A courtly negro recently sent reply to
an invitation, in which he regretted that
circumstances repugnant to the acquies-
cence would prevent lis acceptance to the
invite"
horse cannot forge bolt, but it can
"cast" shoe. .-Norris&oacn Herald Like
wise, he cannot thro Y stone, but he can
shy wleelbarrow. - PhjiadeLphia Bu!le-
tin.
A story is abroad that a petrifed ham
has been discovered in Virginia. - New
Orleans Picdyune. Can't shoulder that upon
us.~Detrott Free Press. A raBAer state
ment could not be made. .--London Ad-
vvrttSer.
A Nyack man was discovered in the cell
lar of a grocery store looking into the bar
rel of beef. When asked what he was do
ing there he gently and timidly re-
piled, II wish | could get corned like
that"
"W'hen tempted to kick man," says
Scotch philosopher, stop and remember
that you may some day want favor of
him." Tempted men generally stop to see
ii the other fellow is the biggest. t.-FTee
Press.
"vat monster language" says O
Frenchman, Here ! read in re newspapers
Eat man commit a murder, was committed
for trial and zen committed himself to
reportair. No wonder everything IN Ameri-
ca Is done BY committee"
Out in Nevada young wife in Eureka
asked her husband to take her to the circus,
but lie refused, and said, 1--WE lost four
wives already, and you're the fifth, and
afore them circus fellows get here lin
going to chain yoa up"
A gentleman who has the unfortunate
habit of interrupting when others are talk
ing was brought up with round turn the
other evening by victim, who quietly
said. Go ahead and tell your story. You
may forget ii. - Boston Transcript.
The fingers of time will eventually OBJ
Gterate the landmarks left by the man of
average Intelligence and fame, but yet
never dull the luStre of the mark that
was left on the wall by some one who could
kick higher than his head.
"What has been done once can be done
again." said some philosopher. This
may be true, but we are inclined to
doubt it. We once found ten dollar
bill in a horse-car and we have been
cunning horse-cars in vain ever SINCE
Puck
Brown tried to quarrel with his mother
in-law the other evening. He married the
eldest of three girls Said she, Brown,
my boy, Pm not going to ruin my reputa-
ton by quarreling with you. Wait till all
the girls are married. At present, as q
mother-in law, Pm only an amateur"
Every city in England has q law by
which any one throwing orange peel on the
side walk can be hustled to Jail so fast that
his head wont have time to swim until he
gets into cell-FTee Press. And yet
ireland furnishes many Orange peelers tc
the English police.
When you find man who claws ovel
all of the papers on the desk, looks
through the drawers, searches every pocket
in his clothes and explores the regions
above his ears in search of his lead pencil,
and finally finds it between his teeth, don
| lend him noney-he is absent-minded.- -
| Ke0kuk Constitution.
| 1t is told of good Advent brother ii
| Massachusetts who recently caught chaI
stealing meat from his market, that in re
ply to the mans plea to be let of, and
God helping him, he would never stea
again, he said:-God helping you! Why
you scoundrel, if I hadn't caught you steal