davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-04-04
Billy Banrs,s Hat.

There are great many people who
feel uneasy when the hat is passed
round, but a hat like this one must
trouble bad debtors worse than anv
body else. A facetious reporter in the
City of Brotherly Love does up an odd
character there in the following fashion
Billy Bangs is collector of bad bills
in Philadelphia. Everybody knows
Billy there, and he collects the worst
kind of bills-bills that people were
willing to throw away if it were not for
Billy.
AS it is, they give their bad bills to
Billy to collect. Billy Bangs wears a
very high hat-a family relic. On the
top he has painted in flaming letters:
Bad Bills Collected.
Thus arrayed, with everybody looking
at his hat, he goes and knocks at the
debtors office-stands around his door,
and makes the premises look generally
ridiculous until the debt Is paid. Then
Billy takes fifty per cent. of it, and gives
the rest to his client.
Recently, Billy Bangs was arrested.
He had gone and stood around DIR.
Dash's office few days before. He call
ed three or four times, always showing his
high hat to passers-by. By-and-by, DR..
Dash got angry, and he went and kicked
MIR. Bangs out-kicked him clear across
the street.
DR.. Dash testified that Billy Bangs
had damaged his good name-that he
got all the neighbors to laugh at him,
and that he was constantly doing this to
good citizens of Philadelphia who failed
to pay all their little bills.
The result was Billy's acquittal. The
court said they had no right to regulate
Billy Bangs's hat, and that he could
wear "plug hat all covered with let
ters. with town-clock on it, if he want
ed to. So Billy is now the terror of
everybody in Philadelphia-who don't
pay.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-04-04
An Uninvited Wedding Guest.

Another industry of Paris was lately
revealed. 1t seems there are number
of men here who enjoy good dinners at
the expense of their neighbors by an
ingenious trick. They watch for mar
riages, mingle with the bridal party and
take their seats at the lunch and dinner
table. The brides family make sure he
is one of the groom's friends and treat
him with profound respect. The
groom's family seeing courtesies shown
him by tho brides family think he must
be some rich uncle, who will leave
slice of his plum-cake to the bride, and
then redouble their attention to con-
vince him he is not going to lose his
niece by the marriage. Butt some
times happens that marriage dinners
here are not found by the families. It
is agreed with the guests that each per-
son shall pay his or her share of the
dinners cost. Into just such an enter
tainment Monsieur Pique Assiette fell
the other night. He must have cotton
out of bed with his left foot foremost
that morning. When the waiter handed
around the plate for each perssn's scot,
Monsieur Pique Assiette, tumble as he
might in his pockets, could find only
ten cent piece-the waiter wanted SO.
The brides family whispered to the
groom's family "Shall we advance
the SO to your friend?" "Our friend
why isn't he yours ?" "We never laid
eyes on him before" Monsieur Pique
Assiette looked like sneak thief, hard
caught in a steel trap. Explain! All
he could do was to stammer incoherent
nonsense. The police were about to be
called when the bride interfered and
said she could not bear that the first act
of her married life should be to send
man to prison, so she would pay the un-
hidden guests scot. Although his heart
was in his boots, he had no heart for
daring, but took to his heels the instant
he saw the door open. This incident
made the wedding one of the merriest
seen in Paris this long while and every
body agreed that the SO worth of fun
bought by the bride was very cheap.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-04-04

A Paris banker, self-made man who
had known the struggles of poverty in
his young days, had an old time-piece
over his bed when he breathed his last
a few weeks ago. When he was boy
he used to say to himself "When you
are rich, you will buy a picture-clock
representing hamlet with its church
and in the steeple clock and at the
foot OF the village railroad, with train
In fnll motion, and on one side the sea,
with ships sailing BY" All these things
were made to work by machinery in the
clock which the rich banker bought.
The train whistled and ran along the
line, and the ships were tossed in the
sea; and the key which set them in mo-
tion was carried in the old gentleman's
pocket. The clock had the place of
honor in his drawing-room, surrounded
by paintings which cost their weight in
gold, and there it remained for years.
His wife and children did not like it.
They laughed at it. They could not
understand his whim. They did not
know of all the old dreams which that
picture awakened in him. His friends
laughed at him for letting it remain in
lhe drawing-room. So he took it into
his own room. Whenever he wanted to
renew his youth he would wind up the
old clock, and then the steeple would
chime, the sea roar, the ships toss back
wards and forwards, and he would feel
as happy as in the old days when he
used to dream about the wonderful
treasure
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-04-04
Words of Wisdom.

luis but poor eloquence which only
shows that the orator can talk.
If what is said be not to the purpose
single word is already too much.
We can hardly learn humility and
tenderness enough. except by suffering.
AS nothing truly valuable can be OBJ
tanned without Industry, so there can be
no persevering industry without deep
sense of the value of time.
Too much reproach "o'er leaps itself,
and falls ON t'other side." Pricked too
harply, the delinquent, like a goaded
bull, grows sullen and savage, and the
persecution continuing, ends in rushing
madly on the spear that wounds him.
The most common error of men and
women is that Of looking for happiness
somewhere outside of useful work. It
has never yet been found when thus
sought, and never will be while the
world stands; and the sooner the truth
is learned, the better for every one. If
you doubt the proposition, go around
among your friends and acquaintances
and select those who have the most en-
ioyment through life. Are they idlers
and pleasure-seekers, or the earnest
workers9 We know what your answer
will be. OF the miserable human beings
it has been cur fortune or misfortune to
know, those were the most wretched
who had retired from useful employ
ment in order to enjoy themselves.
Truth will never die the stars will
grow dim, the sun will pale his glory,
but truth will be ever young. Integrity,
uprightness, honesty, love, goodness,
these are all imperishable. No grave
can ever entomb these immortal princi-
pies. They have been in prison, but
they have been freer than before those
who enshrined them in their hearts have
been burned at the stake, but out of
their ashes other witnesses have arisen.
No sea can drown, no storm can wreck,
no abyss can swallow up the everlasting
truth. You can not kill goodness and in
ttegrlty and righteousness the way that
is consistent with these must be way
everlasting,
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-04-04
"The Blarney StOne,n

We all know, says writer in Cham
ber's Journal, what blarney is-that
soft, sweet speech in which the sons and
daughters of Erin excel. Such speech
is well named blarney, and carries us
back to the hero that made it a household
word. He was one "Cormuck Macar-
thy, who held the Castle of Blarney in
1902, and concluded an armistice with
Carew, the Lord President, on condi-
tion of surrendering the fort to the Eng
lish garrison. Day after day his lord
ship looked for the fulfllment of the
terms, but received nothing except pro-
tocols and soft speeches, till he became
the laughing-stock of Elizabeth's minis
ters and the dupe of the lord of Blar-
ney." The Blarney Stone is triangu-
lar stone lowered from the Castle about
twenty feet from the top, containing on
it the inscription: "Cormuck Mccarthy
fortis me fen fecit. A. D., 1446." Who
ever kisses this stone is supposed to be
endowed with irresistible powers Of
persuasion.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-04-04
Curious Reservoirs.

One of the hottest regions of the
earth is along the Persian Gulf, where
little or no rain falls. At Bahrin the
arid shore has no fresh water, yet a
comparatively numerous population con-
trive to live there, thanks to the copious
springs which burst forth from the bot
tom of the sea. The fresh water is got
by diving. The diver, sitting in his
boat, winds great goat-skin bag around
his left arm, the hand grasping its
mouth; then he takes in his right-hand
a heavy stone, to which is attached
strong line, and thus equipped he
plunges in and quickly reaches the bot
tom. Instantly opening the bag over
the strong jet of fresh water, he springs
up the ascending current, at the same
time closing the bag, and is helped
aboard. The stone is then hauled up.
and the diver, after taking breath,
plunges in again. The source of these
copious submarine springs is thought to
be in the green hills of Osman, some
five or six hundred miles distant.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-04-04
Epcour,.ewep, for The F,ebIe.

Debility, whether it be inherent, or caused
by overtaxed strength, or protracted illness,
mind breeding an abject melancholy nearly
akin to despair, and enforcing the abandon
ment of c5rished projects and high hopes
Happily, the enfeebled system, even in ex-
treme cases is susceptible Of invigoration. 1t
is proved by incontroyertible evidence that
Hostetter's Stomach Bitters is an unfailing
strengthener OF the weak. and that in addition
to vitalizing the physical organization, it
establishes regularity among those organs up
on whose efficient discharge Of the duties inn
posed on them by nature continued vigor and
health depend. Thousands Of instances might
be cited to show the regenerating influence of
this health-giving agent in cases Of debility,
liver disease dyspepsia, nervous ailments, con-
stipation, intermittent fever, urinary and utter
inc troubles. gout and rheumatism, and other
maladies.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-04-04


Rich articles of lace are growing into
favor.
Gut jet beads are very much in de-
mand.
Duchesse lace has taken the place of
point lace
Sleeves are as small as may be worn
with comfort.
The plainest and simplest of draperies
are preferred.
Laces and fur trimmings are beauti.
fully studded with pearl beads.
Among the choice novelties of lingerie
are "Duchesse ends on Null neckties
The latest style of dolman has short,
square Hungarian sleeves and pelerine
front.
Yokes and pleated and gathered waists
are very becoming to tall, slender wo-
men.
Many polonaises are accompanied with
n pelerine dolman, to be worn on cool
mornings.
Half-blossomed flowers, with scant
foliage is the latest transition for bridal
garnitures.
NSly hnc COlOT6u eIuDTOIu6T1GS are
seen on many of the newest styles of
handkerchiefs
Yokes, or trimmings producing yoke
effects, are very popular for very young
ladies' dresses.
Colored embroideries appear on many
of the handsomest sets of white collars
and deep cuffs.
Scarfs of crepe lisse, with the ends
embroidered in silks of Oriental colors,
are pretty novelties.
Handsome wedding dresses of corded
pearl white silk, are trimmed with pleat-
ings of English Grape.
Very wide linen collars and deep cuffs
are richly embroidered and trimmed
with frills of fine Torchon lace.
Yellow, of all shades, is very much in
vogue with blondes and brunettes, white
with yellow, is accepted, instead of black.
Tinsel galloons and "cloth of gold :"
are trimmings now worn in Paris but
will not now appear here until the fall
season.
Macrame lace work, in the form of
tides, bureau mats and chair covers, is
the favorite fancy work for ladies at the
moment.
Gold embroidery, in fringes, lace,
tassels, balloons, passementeries, in ev-
erything, in fact, is worn in Paris, both
in the morning and evening, but it is
vulgar for all that.
Cardinal capes, dolman mantles, and
fichu mantelets are trimmed in many
cases with several rows of futed black
Spanish or French lace, headed with
moonlight and rainbow jet galloons.
Combination suits are very much liked
observe that in the imported suits of
this character, one of the colors is always
dull, while the rest are brilliantly dis
tinct and often of the most delicate
tints
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-04-04
A DebnfnbIe Question.

Wnlle mucn mas Deeu WrluIen concerning tne
use of "put up " medicines. the question is
still an open one, and demands of the people a
careful consideration. The salient points may
be briefly stated, and answered as follows
1st-Are the sick capable of determining their
real condition, tie nature of their malady, and
selecting the proper remedy or means OF cure ?
2d-Can a phyr.cian, no matter how sklllful,
prepare a universal remedy, adapted to the
peculiar ailments of large class OF people. re-
siding in different latitudes, and subject to
various climatn influences? In answer to the
first proposition, We would say, diseases are
named and known by certain signs or symp-
toms, and, IS the mother does not need a
physician to tell her that her child has the
whooping cough, or indicate remedy, 80 peo-
pie when afflicted with many of the symptom
concomitant to impure blood" torpid
liver" and bad digestion require no other
knowledge Spf their condition, or the remedy
indicated. thsn they already possess. Second
proposition-Many physicians argue that dis
eases are sectionally peculiar, and that treat
ment must therefore vary, and yet quinine,
morphine, podophyllin, and hundreds of other
remedies are prescribed in all countries TO over
come certain conditions. Is it not, therefore,
self-evident that physician whose large ex-
perience has made him familiar with the many
phases incident to all impurities Of the blood,
general and nervous debility, liver complaint,
dyspepsia, consumption, and catarrh, can pre-
pare a series of remedies exactly adapted to
meet the conditions manifest, wherever, and
by whatever means, it may have been engen-
dered ? The family medicines prepared by r.
V. Pierce NJ. D. Of Buffalo, N. Y, fulfill the
above requirements. Many physicians pre-
scribe them in their practice. His Golden
Medical Discovery has no equal as blood
purifyer and general tonic, while his Favorite
Prescription cures those weaknesses peculiar
to women after physicians have failed. His
Pleasant Purgative Pellets. which are sugar
coated and little larger than mustard seeds,
are safe and certain cure for "torpid liver
and constipation. II you wish to save money
by avoiding doctors and keep or regain your
health, buy The Peoples Common Sense Medical
Adviser, an illustrated work of over 900 pages.
IL contains instructions concerning anatomy,
physiology hygiene, and the treatment of dis.
ease. Over one hundred thousand copies al.
ready sold. sold Price post-psid@, sI;5o Address
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-04-04
Looking Glasses i'm Rat Traps.

A correspondent writes: "I do not
think it is generally known that rats and
mice will go into a trap much more
readily if piece of looking glass is put
in any part of the trap where they can
see themselves. They are social little
creatures, and where they can see any of
their tribe there they will go. I am
quite sue of the effect the looking glass
has, as properly baited my trap for a
whole week without being able to coax
one of the depredators in; but the first
night after putting in the looking glass
1 caught two-one very large and one
small rat; and every night since, this
device has made one or more prisoners. +"
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-04-04
A Miserable Being
is one that is bilious. Get from your druggist
a package of Quirk's Irish Tea. Price 25 cts

The Greatest Discovery OF the AGE is DR..
Tobias celebrated Venetian niment 30 years before
the public and warranted to Diarrhea Dysenteryf
Colic and Spasms, taken internally and Group Chronic
Rheumatism, Sore Throats, Outs, Bruises Old Sores,
and Pains in the Limbs Back, and Caest, externally
1t has failed, No family will er be without it
after giving IL fair trial Price, 40 GENTS On
TOBIAS VENETIAN HORSE LINIMENT, in Pint
Bottles at One Dollar, is warranted superior to any
other NO PAY for the of Oolic Outs, Bruises,
Old Sores, etc. Sold by all Druggists. Depot1O Park
Place, New York
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-04-04

Newspapers.

Between two and three thousand newspapers in the
United States are printed upon what is known as the
Cooperative plan Nearly forty per cent of all the
weekes adopt this method 1t makes a better paper
at lower cost and is specially suited for the require
ments of papers in small towns and villages. The
tenn maintains a competition with the home printed
country journals to such extent that but those
firmly established and backed up by Of
former prosperity able to stand beside it, and in
the matter of advertising it offers circulation at
price with which the great weeklies are unable to
compete. The matter has become of vital Importance
and the New York Times, journal having a, great
name, has commenced upon it vigorous crusade: In
it's issues of March 4th th and 10Th there long
lbslous articles; Every statement contained in them
rejecting discredt upon the operative system is
true. The undersigned have furnished the Times with
careful answers, showing wherein the articles pub
shed untrue, and the Times has neglected and
fused to give them to the public Desparng of justice
sought to the advertising columns of the Times
and these also have been closed to We hove there
fore other than to appsal to the public
Our answers to the charges of the Times complete
and cannot be refuted. They will be mailed to any
applicant. The only reason for the attack which
know of is to be found in the fact that we have nangu
four times much circulation for dollar is afforded
by the columns of tho Times Circulars with full par.
free nv
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-04-04

The American export trade is assum-
ing larger proportions with each sue
ceeding month, and is destined to set
our financial matters all right in spite of
the Congressional wranglers. Among
the piano exports to Europe and the
South American States the popular firm
of Geo. Steck & Co., of New York, fig
ures largely, because their instruments
have gained the reputation of standing
the most severe climate better than
those of their competitors.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-04-04

An exchange has an article telling
"How matches are made" We sup
posed everybody knew it was by taking
young man and young woman, equal
parts, and let them sit up together about
six months, telling them few times in
this interval that they should never have
each other. Still there may be other
ways we hayeD't heard of.-Rridgeport
Standard,
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-04-04

Mothers! Mothers!! Mothers!!! Don't
fail to procure Mrs. Winslows Soothing Syrup
for all diseases incident to the period of teeth
ing in children 1t relieves the child from pain,
cures wind colo, regulates the bowels, and, by
giving relief and health to the child, gives rest to
the mother II is an old and we'll tried remedy
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-04-04

More than three-quarters of a century has
elapsed since Johnson's Anodyne IMMINENT
was invented and it is to day the most widely
known as well as the most valuable internal
and external remedy in the world. No family
should be without Il day. 80
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-04-04

Life is not so full of attract ions to the
small boy of to-day as it was to his
father. A generation ago there were
nearly fifty circus shows on the road,
and this year there are only thirteen.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-04-04

1t is said by reliable persons that Sherdan's
Cavalry Condition Powders fed sparingly to
laying hens will increase the quantity Of eggs
two-fold. Try it. 1t won't cost much.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-04-04
CHEW
The Celebrated
"MAToHLEss"
Wood Tag Plug
TOBACCO.
TIE PIONEER TOBACCO COMPANY,
New York, Boston, and Chicago.
n Rallobla Arffala

A Reliable Article.
1t is pleasure to commend an article OF a
thoroughly reliable character, and we do not
hesitate to do 50 in speaking of Dooley's Yeast
Powder, which An experience of over ten years
convinces us is the best and most reliable bak-
ing powder in the market.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-04-04

The patronage among the first-class hotels in
New York is constantly changing from one hotel
to the other. The GRAND CENTRAL HOTEL has
recently melted the direct wrath of its compe-
titors by Offering the same accommodations one
and two dollars per day less than the cthers,
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-04-04

Statesmen and Lawyers. s..........6 1915
IuySlClituS. .OO.O
Divines and Theologians. .... .67.4
Musical Composers. .65.7
Philosophers and Mathematicians. 65 8
hTtlsts ........ .of.o
Miscellaneous Literary men. ...... .62.6
fOeuS. ............ .O5.o
Mr.. Casper, of Berlin, Prussia, has
calculated that in that country the age
of seventy was attained by forty-two
clergymen in 100; by twenty-nine law
yers by twenty y-eight artists by twen-
ty.seven professors, and twenty-four
physicians. DR.. Madon, in England, in
comparing the average age of celebrated
men of different classes, found that
naturalists lived seventy-five years
philosophers, sculptors and painters,
seventy /; lawyers, sixty nine; physicians,
sixty-eight clergymen, sixty-seven.
The following table shows the average
duration of life in several professions,
businesses and occupations, derived
from a series of extended observations
made by persons who interest them
selves in this sort of statistics
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-04-04

forbidden fruit that was daily the food
OF the short-lived persons about them
They have cal efully discarded whatever
would injure them, and have found
sufficient enjoyment in the good things
that nature does not revolt against.
Then again there is another thing that
tends to influence the years OF a person 8
existence, and that is the occupation in
which the individual is engaged. Ger
tainly an employee in white lead
manufactory cannot expect to live as the
man whose days are spent in the fields,
drinking in the great draughts of pure
and invigorating atmosphere, nor must
the assiduous boy student hope to attain
the same robust maturity that falls to
the lot of the street gamin. From the
following statistical figures the truth of
this assertion will readily be ascertained
Of 8SS clergymen whose ages were
obtained ninety died at 61.77 years, 123
at sixty-fve, 303 at 62.55 and 372 at
Ga AT.
Of physicians, 1914 average GO. .23 years,
and of this number fortyt two lived 53. SO
years; and 154 reached 64.94.
David Rennet, physician Of Rowley,
Mass, died in 1719, aged 1O3 years, two
months and three days. Edward Au-
gustus Holyoke died in Salem in 1929,
at the age of 100 years, seven months ;
and Hezekiah Merriam, of Ward, who
died in 1903, and John Crocker, of Rich
mond, who died in 1916, lived beyond
the age of 100 years.
Of lawyers, reports afford less material
to judge of their longevity. The ages
of fifty-two are given, whose average
age was 46 68 years; of fifty-three
others, 55 AZ years. From this, it would
appear that they do not live so long as
clergymen and physicians though the
number of observations is too small to
found correct opinion upon.
A table in Chambers Journal gives
the following as the average duration
OF life among large number of profcs-
sional men in that country: