Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1878-12-27
HnnlOr.

An elevated railroad station is, Of
course, station airy.-Neao York Nail.
New Year il not particularly sickly
season-Lhough it is the call-era.-Neu
York Graphic.
Whisky is that sort Of bar-relief
which is produced by a slight elevation.
-Graphic.
There is no poetry in the light fantas-
tic toe that wears corn.-New ORLEANS
Picayuae.
Cornet playing in church, according
to the Philadelphia Chronicle, is worship
ing the Lord in horn.
The best seats at the theatre Of war
are generally on the front tier Boston
Commercial Bulletin.
BE careful how you punctuate the
stoye," is the latest. 1t means not to
put too much colon.--P insbwg Tele-
graph.
Getting up paragraphs is like getting
up in the morning when you would
rather lie still than not. - Hackensqek Re-
publican.
Persons vino write anonymous letters
for publication should send their fool
names to the publishers -New Orleans
Picdyltne.
"What I'd like to know" said d
schoolboy, lis how the mouths Of rivers
can be 50 much larger than their heads.
A man in Cleveland gives notice that
he is "out Of politics." In Cleveland
Cleveland, o.? Why the man must be
dead.-Bu8alo Express.
Fast draweth nigh the new-b born year,
when good resolves burn fiery; and ev-
cry youth says to himself, !" Look here,
I'll keepa diary. = Wheeling Leader.
At the menagerie: Visitor-How old
are those elephants? Keeper Nearly
twenty years old. Visitor-Ah, / see;
they are yet in their elephantines. His
money was refunded Utica Observer.
The young man who took up the col
lection in church the other Sunday,
when nothing but 5-cent pieces were
forthcoming, remarked that it was
neat bit Of nickel plating.-NeaO Hagen
Register.
The tramp may not be able to square
u circle; but only give him chance
and he'll prove to you that he can get
round square meal with mathema-
teal completeness that will astound
you. --Puck.
Susan Tell in love with u bookkeeper,
and when Aunt asked about his posi-
ton in life, Susan said demurely, "He's
Il count, aunt" which proved satisfac-
tory to both parties. -BoSton Transcript
AT IN artistic supper, not long since.
some one said that 'rhe Roll Call"
clever rs it was, had been iniudiciously
praised II call it, said this person.
The men who were mustered after
they'd been peppered."
a fearful suggestion. Fred Ito chum)
] dreamt about you last night, Bob
Bob hope il was pleasant2 Fred-O,
yes very pleasant while it lasted. |
dreamt that you paid the SO you owe
me.-Hu,urd Lantpoon.
The time approaches when the
husband gives his wife some
money, which gees to buy dressing
gown that all the worlds riches couldn't
hire him to wear in the presence Of his
male friends. Turner'S Falls Reporter.
"Pants for SOP said 4 seedy-looking
man, reading the sign IN the window of
a clothing store he was passing" so do
|, never painted so for 50 in all my
life. - Cincinnati Saturday Night.
Those black crepe sacqnes, cut bias.
with pompadour in the neck, and
trimmed with gored silk and torchon
lace, and blue silk facing on the hem,
are destined, we think, to cause Il sen
sation. -New York Express.
A German, telling the story Of his
campaigns, gives the following interest
ing item " In this battle we lost the
brave Captain Schultz. A cannon ball
took of his head. His last words were,
Bury me on the spot where fell"
II don't feel good when a man goes
into the dark pantry and attempts to
dive his hand down to the bottom of
the jar where the fried cakes are kept,
to plunge into a foot of raspberry jam.
II isn't good for the jam, either.-SWa-
ease Times.
An old gentleman Of 81, and his
bride, aged 81, entered railway car
the other day and took a seat by the
stove. A youth, occupying the seat be-
hind, says he overheard the following:
Old gentleman to his bride" Who's il
little lamb" Bride" Bote Of us"
Don't you love her still?" asked
the Judge to man who wanted divorce.
!" Certainly do" said he; Il love her
better still than any other way; but the
trouble is SHE will never be still The
Judge, who is n married man himself,
takes the case under advisement.
About this time the young lady o.
the country learns through a series OF
deep, dark plottings that her young
man wears number four boots. The
same young man will be sorry that he
preyaricated, when he tries to thrust
his number seven teet into a beautifully
worked pair of number four Christmas
slippers. -Rocklind Courier.
The other evening, while our special
artist was out on the hill painting the
gorgeous hues Of the chameleonizel
clouds that we're intensely yivied by
the rays Of the setting sun, wild goat