Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-03-24
The AitinD Nan.
BY BOB BURDE1TE, IN TILE HAwK-EYE.

had pleasant companion on my
way home from Aurora. He got on at
Bristol, and took dinner at the ''Cosmo-
politan' He sat with me at dinner, and
didn't seem to have much appetite. He
groaned when he took up the bill OF fare
and sighed as he looked across the table
at my order, and then shook his head
dolefully, and told the waiter to bring
him little boiled trout, with egg sauce;
q bit OF boiled mutton, with caper sauce;
some roast beef, a trifle rare; just a taste
of roast lamb; turkey, with cranberry
sauce; mashed potatoes; roast duck;
some pork and beans, Boston style; stew
ed tomatoes, corn, turnips, squash, peas,
bit of cold tongue, some sharp relishes,
and a cup Of coffee. Then he ordered
some assorted cake, cranberry pie, Indian
pudding, and ice-cream for desert, and
said he felt darned sight more like
dying than eating.
If he dies as we'll as he eat, just imagine,
just think, what a glorious, triumphant
death that man viii die.
Shortly after dinner the poor man
came into the coach, and sat down OPP
posite me.
"Ah," he said, with deep groan, II
don't know what I wouldn't give if l
could eat like you"
''Sir!' I said, in fine burst of indigna-
ton, for feared he was going to accuse
me of swallowing my knife every time I
took bite of pie, and I just made up my
mind that would cut his heart out if he
limited at such thing.
go, it's fact, he replied" II haven't en-
joyed meal for years.
s'Was it possible?" I asked in amaze
:nent.
''Indoed, yes" he said; II am all out Of
fix. I've got no liver at all, to speak Of. )"
/ didn't suppose one liver would be of
any account to him; | rather thought that
if he could get a couple of gangs of livers,
and work them by reliefs, they might lie
able to help him along, especially if he
had them made of tin. But then he was
stranger to me, SO I didn't feel justified
in making the suggestion.
No, he continued, my liver is Of no
more account than alump oflead. sup
pose,' he said, plaintively, "it's as big as
four of yours"
And he looked at me with an appealing
glance, as though he expected ME to take
nv liver out and let him examine it, as
though it were an oriode watch he wanted
to trade tor.
Now, if there is any thing in this wide
beautiful world that will make me mad
it is to have q man who is ailing sit down
and bore me with list OF his diseases
and detailed description Of his anatom-
ical arrangements. And the men of free
America, it seems to ne, would rather
talk about their perishing livers than
their never-t!ying souls, and it always
makes me mad for man to come at me
and burden me with complaints about
the torpidity Or his liver: as though
were his physician. am proud to con
TESS to the blindest densest Ignorance con
corning my own inner life don't know
whether my liver is round or shaped
like a gun case, and I don't care
a continental, although always had thu
impression that it was just under tn.
shoulder blades. So said to the man
with very great enthusiasm:a
80, do tell me all about your liver!
should 50 like to know all about it I an
so interested in such things
The man looked little surprised a
silly SuuuCn CuIuuoldolu, UuC AC Sd1C llCl
wasn't much to tell about it It was a
torpid, he said, as snake in December
20, charming, charming!'' I exclaime
sAnd is it tame? Do you let it run aroun'
loose, or do you have to keep it chaine
up2"
The stranger stared, and looked a
though he would likesto sit a little farthe
away. He said he didn't Just exactl
understand me.
"And how is your spleen?" I asked
eagerly, "and your ventricles? And d
tell me about your thoracic duct, an
how do you get along with your tonsils
And have you raised any new bones sine
saw you last; and when did you hea
from your diaphragm? Do tell me a
about your viscera: make clinic {
yourself, and tell me the Christian name
of all your bones and the appurtenance
thereunto appertaining. Tell me"
But he got up and slowly backed OF
of the car, and the conductor shortly a
terward told me that the man with live
told him that the man who escaped frol
the asylum at Jacksonville last week We
in the rear coach.
I1ooo 10 IL, -