The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1878-10-09
Humors or the Day.

& . q 3 +
A lemon isan Insignificant thing, bus
we like its ade In keeping cool.
The New Orleans Picayuae informs us
that there are more ladies than Gentle
men in Salt Lake City.
Fashionable mother: ssMaria. I'm al.
q most discouraged. How manv fimes
taterS'
Painful Question by the Sultan. .Is
this Turkey, or il it merely portions ae
England, Russia, Austria, and other
conntries2"
a man IN Detroit has recently invented
an apparatus for arresting and extinouisb.
ing sparks. Are the girls going to stand
thats -~
A discomftted soldier, who found that
ne had shot an Indian already defunct,
was overheard to murmur, 81 didn't
know it vas Lo dead.''
The only difference between an e,e.
plant with broken ivory and town in
Alabama is, one has loose tusk. sir and
the other. 8 Tuscaloosa.
The fat girl of Iowa, who weighed eO0
pounds, is dead. It used to be her re-.
gretful boast that she never sat on a mans
knee in ali her born days.
What business is your father in2n
sure! and do nc. He's an
aagltator, or dictator. or
speculator-a tatur OF sane kind. amy
way
"Ah,' said the fly, as it crawled around
the bottle, II have passed through the
Matching age, the creeping age, the 6y-
ing age, and now I'm in the mucilaoe
and there it stuck.
They were having family set-to, and
she asked him if there was ANYTHING in
the past that he would like to recall. and
he hear1lessly answered, Eyes, the day
you first refused me-"
s'What time is it2'' asked customer If
restaurant clerk, as he settled for his
breakfast. ats quarter after ate" re.
pied the clerk, as he raked in the cash
and the twenty FIVE cent check.
a lecturer, addressing mechanics in
stltute, contented that ssArt could not i'm
prove Nature" when one OF the audience
set the whole assembly in a roar by ex-
claiming, show would you look nut
your wlg2"
1t is we'll to loook at both sides OF
fan. On heated" Sunday in Pbila-
delphia recently the minister was fam
ming himself vigorously He did not
see, but the aggregation did, that the
reverse of his fan bore the inscription.
BUY Boggle's Bitters.''
Did the prophet Isaiah ever eat at a
railroad station? It certainly looks so.
Tor how could he have described it so
literally ii he had not: s.And he shall
snatch on the right hand, and be hungry;
and he shall eat on the left hand, and
shall not be satisfied
The young man had given his views
about everything 10 everybody for an un-
endurable half hour, when the old man
said, with nice courtesy: Il beg your
pardon, sir, but if you begin teaching
everybody at eighteen, when do you in
tend to begin Learning anything2'
Sweets to the sweet" said a young
man on passing the syrup to a young
lady seated at one OF our hotel tables.
And beets TO the BEATS remarked the
lady, showing a dish of that vegetable
"" tA1o SOunS iHdA. Ell sonb reason
the observation cast settled gloom over
a countenarce that just before was radiant
with smiles.
'My son, would you like to steal one
of those melonsS" Yes, sir" was the
prompt reply. you would, eh? I am
sorry TO bear that. If you should steal
one of those melons, my boy, do you
know what the result might be2" The
la1 scratched his head, surveyed the pile
arain, aud answered, II 'spect the
plaguey thing would be green all the way
through!'
"Now, then, madame, please look
stead Y at this place on the wall" said
"a photographer to an old lady, when he
he had put her in position aud the plate
in the CAMERA. The old lady looked
hard at the spot indicated, then got up
and walked across the floor and infinitely
inspected it, ana then, turning to the
photographer, gently remarked, II don't
IL