West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-01-19
FROM JOE DARTER AND NAN
CY DARTER.
AURoARRY, WESTERN VIRaINY.
Monday evening.
IRA B..

Mister Editor Of the ARGUS:
Trooly your friends, Joe Barter
and Nancy Darter all of the same
place jist want to tell you that they
have survived the great holiday
doins, which have immortelized for
all time and ginerations to come, the
people Of this town and country,
which is surnsmed Auroarry.
The snow was nigh onto garter
deep and the weather dreadful cold
and windy, but Nancy has collected
some important moose. Since we
wrote our tother letter some events
OF powerful magnichude have come
TO the light OF the world in and all
around Auroarry. The first event
OF much gravity is that old II list
lit cut on double quick fortnight
ago jist perEactly this very night
Nancy says she onOt heerd an old
school master say that a fortnight is
Just perzactly two weeks more or
less. When poor old Mister II step
ped out. you jist ought to seen young
81 come in, jist hoopin anb bllin.-
So you see we have new year, If
the almanac haint foolin us, But
we cant find out where the dickins
old II went anyhow. Ira Bee says
hes gone down, whirlin and tnm-
bin over the current of time. Now
we would jist like to know how ne
found that out. In my opinion he
might jist as we'll said one old man 8
gone fshen.
Nancy says, with the new year has
come the trials and trou bles and diff.
hcslties and disappintm ents common
TO poor humanity.
She didn't git her tobacker at
Christmas, and was dreadful dlsap-
printed. She says dlsappintments
always did smile onto her more D
sunshine anyhow,
The next event of momentus i'm
portance Is the mirac eous escape OF
our little constable who was shot at
and dreadful skesred by the wilder
Nine, three times in one mint. His
hair jist got straight up, and his
coat tail stuck straight out behind
az be fell back from that widders
house without gittin her taxes. For
tunstely for the good name OF the
country our constable was not hit.
The wilder had never practized
shootin at rye straw.
The third and most absorbent
event will live 10 the history of Au-
roarry, when every body on earth AT e
dead. 1t was the arrest Of Miss Nan
cy Stewart on the charge Of tighten,
whlppen, beatin, clubbin, poundin
add smackln = young man on Salt
Lick, nigh onto FIVE or six miles from
Aurosrry, as be was goin home from
meetln. The young man sufsrin
great pain went and made complaint
TO, and told our dispenser Of law and
justice how that he was aleerd oil
that gal. In due time the pupsrs
were ready and the constable order
ed 70 york up Miss yiolater OF the
laws Of The land and dlsturber o. the
peace Of the country at large, and
BRING her dead or Twin before the
high court Of Aurosrry TO be dealt
WITH as the Squire and Constable
directs 10 Hcb wicked cases. The
excitement was dreadful high. The
Court wac iu session on two days-
The gal was tried condemned and
sent to jail to repent. The peace
honor aud dignity Of the country
mentained, jlst at triRin cost Of Dot
more'n 6fty or sIxty dollars, TO the
peace loyin people We have ilsl
heerd il any more boys and gals git
into sich hghun sorapes they will be
tried before the Board Of Education
The people are determined 70 break
up sic5 scrapes al any cost. JET
think Mr. Editer for one or two min.
ito Of the dreadful compressed NOR
ais Of our country, and jet think bow
unsafe it 10 Ter young man to 20 u
meetID without perfection, and how
dangerous for q constable 20 try I'd
co ect taxes Its as clear ss The
double rule of three that Mlstel
Hayes jet must send troops at onci
70 subJus the wimin. When consta
l. q