The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1878-01-05
VARIETY.

IN /, Mr.. Paine, that you are hard
sr.'' 3. Not a bit,'' cried Paine. 81 Not
no qn ever drank easier"
BI K Hills Pioneer has changed editors
mes eleven weeks. There's more bullets
1ay.
edi of the Kansas City Times tried to
nd cow the other day, but afterward
tina le had committed bull.
icie if, authority says that % single
no sel y will produce in one season 2O,-
20 g. Great guns! What must the
ed = do?
on pretty as picture,'' he muttered,
gasfus in her upturned face, s. and it would
have ieen great deal cheaper for me, if L had
taken your picture instead of yourself"
Eve.ym likes to hit the nail upon the head
But l,t a hit the nail upon the toe-his
big to- par cularly-against huge rock, and it
Is a q ferer matter entirely.
Wien Texas mother falls out with her
Child tea, her, she lassos him and throws him
70 To grOr nd. The boys, always in for little
fun, zen I'D him while the old lady gives him
a bul lose.
q. s. si pers have been produced at Vienna.
Man a ms o, when he reads this, will recall the
days f his 5oyhood, when he would have escaped
man be lily smart had glass slippers been in
YOgU
Y ng nan, beauty fades as the years 60 by.
nc. fall IN love with woman simply because
sIe retty face. Remember that wealthy
faith in-law is better than the rosiest damsel in
=ey States.
Mr. Brown a man of means ?'' asked a
e nan Of old Mrs. Fizzelton, referring to
y. her -eighbors. '' Well, [ reckon he ought
to " drlwled out the old lady, 90 for he's the
Ilet st N in our town.
wen y-third street IN. " man sat two
hours at a boarding house dinner yesterday, with
the ] yer lint of spring chicken in his fingers.
He p ed tie lathe on it for while and then
said 50 b. ng on baseball bat, or something
easy -
a little girl in Clinton, Ill, teaching
her little brother the Lords prayer the other
nis Z and when she said, 80 Give us this day
our daily bread" he suddenly called 90 Pray
for sv"up, too sister; pray for syrup, toe! -
ell you said a Winconsin man to a neigh
b1r next day after burying his wife, '' when
ca, to get into bed, and lay thar, and not
hear cnda jawing around for an hour and a
half iust made me feel as if I'd moved into
a su country"
VI ne was young man he rushed into a
burr uilding and calamity dragged her out
by ir of her head. They were married
the winter, and now she rushes IN and
dEa out by the hair of his head whenever
she 1e it. Snch is true love.
"g .ughter never dances out of her own
SCI; proud dame at one of those nondes-
krir tainments got up at the hotels of q
ser ran hionable watering place. '' Is it a
''-. pink set?'' some one asked and
tie lady colored up and could make no
rep turned out that this exclusive person
was worthy mate of a dealer in modern
Chi
NJ snpeck's husband calculates dates on
~ we'd plan. s. Can you tell me, my
dear asked him, . on what day Mrs. Cen
era Iper caled?" a. Oh yes" he replied,
's i- the day you hit me with the camp
stool That must have been Tuesday, she
said ghtfully. '' No, no. calculated Hem
pee lat was the day you poked me in the
eye W the parasol."
An experienced old fellow picked up a
I5urnei le other day containing chess depart
1GsUT lie had never seen anything like the
--s' u before, and after reading half column
Of r. 3 to Q 2-B. to Kt. ch.-B. P.
CHI P. drawn,'' and so forth, he threw
down paper with air of disgust and the
remari never saw such darned queer poe
try IS .t-must have been written by a crazy
mani!
fty1. little hard on the boy, for he meant
we'll 49, had sincere admiration for the girl
They sitting at the tea table with a COM
pany thers, and as he passed her the sugar
he mu- ured IN an undertone, 50 Here it is
sweet, like you" The compliment was
it-le aN ward, to be sure, but he meant it, and
che see 1 moro than cruel, when, in a moment
later, had occasion to pass the butter to him.
sh' "a, ID, ' Here 1t Is, soft, just like you
An gnant and beligerent actor once called
Upon mel Greene. of the Boston Post, TO
Az = at ne meant by putting that in the
Ilper. and was thrown down stairs He
went so fast and noisily that the editor
though had killed him. Rising to his feet
and br' ing his knees, the son of Thespis cried :.
-" Nj Greene, you shall hear from me for
this Thank God that L hear from Won or
al, va the devout reply; 81 was afraid YOU
we're pas. hearing FROM
A yon- married man, of extremely ;eaIoro
disposIflo1. recently visited one of the most
tamens esairvoyants in the city. Being far from
hOms, he wanted to know what his wife was vas
dong = She is looking out of the window
evidently expected some one.'' " That is strange
SAID BENEDICT, 81 whom can she expect % o Some
one enters the door, and she caresses him fond.
ly, VENT On the clarvoyant. ..It can't be -,
cried the excited husband, 80 My wife is true to
me-" "Now he lays bis head tenderly in her
lap and Jocks tenderly in her ewes . n It's
false III make you pay dearly for this S,'
yelled the jealous husband, Now he waus
ms taI, said the medium The rreen-eved
monster subsidized and Mr. Yonn, b,,sbo,5 go