The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1878-11-12

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IcoxE AND ALL scRArcH.
When boy becomes ashamed to sit
on his mothers lap he is probably in BUSH
mesa for himself-hOldiDg somebody else in
his lap.
Yes, he Is in business. But look out for
. crisis when he realizes the assets.
A Kentucky farmer writes to the local
newspaper, complaining OF the low price Of
dairy produce, and adds: IL shall not sell
my eggs for eight cents 2 dCzen-it don't
pay for the wear and tear Of the hen"
He can keep his derned old egg. 'Tain't
half 80 hard on the hen AZ it is on the eggs /.
A dying man in Burlington crawled
out Of his bed, dragged himself to the rock
ing chair. pulled the tidy down, rolled it
up, and sat down upon il and died with
sweet smile OF triumph lighting up his
face.
But it didn't hall equal the halo Of bliss
that lit up the face cf the widow when she
at last saw the chance Of getting that black
silk.
The Hickory Grove school is progress.
ing we'll rs could be expected under the
circumstances.
Do ubtless but how long before the ''cir-
cums,ances" &c, we'll enough to let the boys
sit down when they study?
When . mans chin whiskers turn
gray before the hair On his head does, il
shows which part vi him has done the most
work.--Eiehm9e.
No it don't True merit is always
modest. That's why his seat is carefully
covered.
"A young lady being asked BY a rich
bachelor, III not yourself, Who would You
rather be ~ replied, sweetly and modestly,
"Yours, truly"
Then she signed his name to herself,
crawled into an envelope, and vent through
the post Office to his address marked "due
three cents"
The foundation for the meanest man il
laid when q small boy turns the worm hole
in an apple for his companion to bite from.
And then the companion finishes the frat
.,ory BY eating all the apple and keeping
the hole for ring.
Winnie Ream in now q sculptures of
worldwide reputation.
but she's married. you can't . quire her.
Give your horses plenty OF sunshine.-
RWai World.
They do ii. We can see their feed shin
ing through their ribs.
Its but one step from politics to pota-
toes. The Upton Times hOwls: Friends,
are you, like u, out Of potatoes?
Waiter? Another plate Of potatoes for
the Times.
An exchange from neighbOring town
asks, "Wiil Beechers usefulness be cut Of?
-Erekange.
Well-really, We cannot say; but We
think it ought to be.
A "cub" who has only been working
n typesetter for about u week, set $3.50
ems OF Bourgeois" in nine hours on
Wednesday lass.-EIchanys.
We saw q cub get away with . Whole
Case Of agate, once. in Eve seconds. He set
it on the floor. We never knew . cub to
set stick oi bourgeoise, but what he went
right of and lied about il.
"A Goldfish has been found to produce
$500 900 eggs ct spawn.
Now kill your hens. Three or four cod
fish around the place will keep you in eggs
all the time
According to the judgment Of New
Milford man, who had seven men to assist
him to his feet, ''the hind end OF a mule IL
much more premature than the front end"
-Erchangs.
Our grandfather had mule that cOnld
stand ON head and knock the socks of
the man in the moon. We have seen that
mule 60 up or the mountain and kick
nickels of the clouds till We had to punch
him down with the North Pole. When
that mule went out at night to practice,
people used to talk about the Northern
lights. but his right name was Jim.
The New Haven Journal tells us that
there are n dozen beautiful women in New
Haven o. perfectly beautiful in form, color
and features o. any chiseled By the greatest
masters, not excepting the Venus Of Milo
and the Madonnae Of Raphael"
Pshaw We know Selalia Juno that
can knock the socks of the Venus of Milo
or any other rooster. When she hangs her
clothes on hickory limb and goes near the
water on Flat Creek, the angels fence her
in With their wings.
There il no material change in the cut
Of infants underweac.-Esekan9s.
No; it will always be three cornered and
bias.