Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1878-05-09


gazed at them all with benign look of pity
He said to them, Dew yew wish tew know
that purp's nameT They simultaneously
answered in the affirmative. He said, well
that's good, considering l never saw him till
he follered me in here!'
THOUGHT He HAD EN- AGAIN.-Snitfies
brought his two weeks spree to close on
Saturday night. He lay on lounge in the
parlor, feeling as mean as sour lager, when
something in the corner of the room attracted
his attention. Raising on his elbow, he gazed
steadily at it. Rubbing his eyes, he stared
again, and as he stared his terror grew. Call
ing his wife, he asked, hoarsel ly:
"Marindy, what is that? p
"What is what, Likeyf"
Snifles' name was Lycurgus, and his wife
calls him Likely for short and sweet.
"Why, -that-thing in the corner" /"
said the frightened man, pointing at it with a
hand shaking like politician.
"Likey, dear, I see nothing" replied the
woman.
What? you don't see itS' he shrieked.
mo"
"Tben I've got 'em. Oh! heavens, bring
me the Bible, Manufacturing it quick !!
Here-here, on this sacred book swear never
to drink drop of whisky. If break my
VOW, may my right hand cleave to the root OF
my mouth, and -"
Here, catching another glimpse of the ter.
rible object, he clutched his wife and begged
in piteous tones: 49,,
"Don't leave me don't leave your Likely ?"
And burying his face in the folds of her
dress, he sobbed and moaDed himself into
troubled sleep.
Then his wife stole gently to the corner,
picked up the toy snake, and threw it into the
stove.
@- One day the sexton was standing on the
church steps wiping his melancholy features
with red bandanna A hearse stood near,
and three or four carriages were drawn up
behind it. The notes of the organ foated
out of the window with solemn effect. A
stranger came along, and said:
"Funeral?"
The old sexton gravely bowed his head. 1t
who's dead?"
The old man again wiped his brow, and
gave the name of the deceased.
"What complaint!' asked the inquisitive
stranger.
Solemnly placing his bandanna in his hat
and covering his bald head, the old sexton
made answer:
"There is no complaint. Everybody is en-
tirely satisfied"
s@ Recently, when church steeple was in
the course of erection in Scotch town, the
provost had conversation with the architect,
and pointed out the danger which he sup
posed might arise from the action Of the wind
upon the weathercock, the great size of which
surprised him when he saw it before it was
put up. He thought it would be apt to dis
turb the stones in the pinnacle of the steeple.
"Oh! there is no danger" said the archi.
tect. "You see the weathercock turns round
with the wind, and never presents any great
surface to it. There is nothing fixed but the
cardinal points"
"Ah! WE'LL" said the provost, "and couldna
We max the cardinal points turn round toof
pa A little fellow had just begun going to
the public schools. His mother, to stimulate
him to attention to his lessons, said to him,
the other day:
"Charley, if you study hard, you may some
day become President of the United States,
like George Washington. Who knows?"
Don't talk to me about being PRESIDENT"
exclaimed ne; "everybody's going to be
President. When we 60 to school, the first
thing the teacher does, she calls the names OF
all the little boys, and they all say 'Presi-
dent don't want to be President"
pa- A lady reached the passenger depot in
DAYTON, Ohio, the other day, just as the train
she intended 70 take was leaving, and as she
stood, almost crying with vexation, on the
platform, gentleman arrived at the depot
on full run, with his carpet-bag in his hand,
his coat on his arm, and his face streaming
with perspratior AS he looked on the train,
now fast moving away, he sat down on his
carpet. bag, wiped his face, and very deliber-
ateiy and emphatically said, Oh that
train !" The lady heard him, and. smiling
upon him with lady's sweetness, said,
THANK you, sir"
nS- "Do you know that expensively-dress-
ed lady there9" said young man, to his
friend at ball the other night, pointing as
he spoke to an exceedingly fashionable mar
ried belle.
ayes; what about her?" was the reply.
"That is the woman that our friend, Colo
mel -, tried so hard to win for his wife
but he lost her; and now there is only one
other person who is as miserable as the Colo