Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1878-07-17

A New Jersey man of an inventive turn
of mind underio ook to accomplish the Bib
lica feat of walking on water He made
two immense lnhia-rubber shoes inf tied
with air. Then he went down to the
river, bucked on his air shoes. and sue
ceeded in walking fifty yards, and WAS
making bravely for the opposite shore
when he was struck by stiff breeze, and
lost his balance. His head went down,
and his feet remained above water, and,
fifteen minutes after, Il couple of gunners,
sighting the huge shoes, mistook them for
II couple Of amphibious monsters, and rid
died them with buckshot. This released
the air and the man disappeared. He was
found two weeks afterwards, bnt he was
as dead as the late Julius Cesar, Esq
NorriStoaOn Herald.
Mr.. Billngs-whose knowledge Of nat
ural history came by instinct-after men,
tionng that the hornets disposition is "a
warm cross between red pepper in the ped
and fusi oil, gives his essay II moral
bias by informing the public that this
infiammable" insect is not long lived,
simply for the reason that any creature,
bug or human, who is mad all the time
and stings every chance lie can get, and
plants melancholy in his track, generally
dies young" 1t pays. he thinks, to be
more penslve and much less "perempto-
ry."
In the course of the seasons that time
has arrived when the young man SITS out
on the front steps with the idol of his soul
and talks sentimental slush and thinks he
would be in Heaven if he We're married,
whereas the girls old man, who has been
married for some period. probes around
the house with II kerosene lamp, looking
for some cold grub for his supper, and he
smiles Il smile suggestive of sad expert
ence when he reflects that he was once
young and beautiful himself, and as big a
fool as the young man on the stoop.
A small paper in Pennsylvania has all
the advantages that an imposing name
can hestow. 1t is called the PennSgra
nia Record and Stoenankert0,On AdCet tjScf'
md Jenhingt0wn PeStte. 1t is published
in Shoemakertown, Pennsylvania and the
space that is not occupied by the name, is
filled with choice literature.
We read of Il poor boy in New Bedford
who was washed overheard recently and
killed. We cannot warn mothers too
strongly against washing children over
board; if they would wash them at home
with tepid water and soap. and dry them
thoroughly afterwards, all danger would
be averted. -Danbury Ne,Os.
Little Binks Ito unsteady party who had
urched heavily against him)-I beg your
pardon. I'm sure. but I'm very short-sight-
ed. Dissipated stranger-Do' mensh't,
shir; I've met goo many shorlsighted
peoplesh morn; bu' you're tirsh gen'ish
made 'shli'st policy!
There are times, says the Cincinnati
Enquirer, when deaf person, closely
watching the energetic gesticulations of
Theodore Thomas, might naturally con-
clude that he was bound to convince tue
court and jury that it was not his client
who stole the mule.
The Rev. Brooke Herford tells n story
of little boy who, after being instructed
concerning the beauties and employments
of Heaven. asked anxiously if he were
very good if he couldn have little devil
up once in while to play with him.
Lightning struck one of the needles with
which n young woman was knitting at
Montreal the other day, knocking it out of
her hand, but doing no other damage than
to thoroughly frighten her.
How nicely the corn pops. said u
young man who was sitting with his sweet
heart before the fire. "Yes, " she re-
sponded. demurely, "it's got over being
green"
A French newspaper points out how the
passion for gambling is shown in England
SO that even in wedding notices it is nee
essary to state that there were " no
cards"