Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1878-12-12
Wit and H1t7,a,o,r.

1t is monrnful to see man more'n full.
Going the rounds of the press-the girl
who waltzes. is a,qe4s
Sound advice is that which you receive
through telephone. s .7s
All money that is worth anything is hard
money-to get.
Unlike some business men, musicians are
pretty certain to meet their notes.
{ What popu1,r poets name would be a
fitting epitaph for Bob hgersolls Robert
Burns.
Twice stew are four, said the oyster deal
er, and he charged four accordingly.
David was of short stature; hence his re-
mark: II said in my haste tall men are
liars.''
Why don't you go fishing?-Detroit
Free Press. Becausewe haven't the worms.
Philadelphia Chronicle.
''How many deaths?' asked hospital
physician. .'Nine." ''Why, l ordered
medicine for ten." ''Yes, but one wouldn't
take it,
A fellow asks us it it is really darkest
just before day. Dawned if we know. We
are not clothes-line thief.
"An' sure, it's aisy enough to build a
chimey." said O'Rourke; ''ye how'd one
brick up a just slip another one under it,"
In a Danbury clothing store is card an
nouncing: 'sPerfectly-iitting garments.
Every article sets as good as hen."
When fellow bequcaths his body to a
medical college for dissection, that's what
you may call "a dead give away
One reason why more people did not go
into the ark is, that Noah neglected TO ad-
vertise in the papers. The;r is a great
moral lesson contained in this tact.
els this air tight?" inquired man in
hardware store, as he examined stove.
mo, sir.' replied the clerk; ''air never gets
tight He lost customer.
Meeting commercial traveller who was
pretty fill of Robinson county. Gubbins
remarked to his wife: ''Tight as drum,
amt hep s.Worse'n that" she answered,
she's tight as drummer"
Talmage says that ''postures. attitudes
and figures are suggested by the devil"
AS they form nine-tenths of his sermons.
it follows that the reverend gentleman
gives The Lord a mighty slim Glance
Ne,y Haren Register. ssa
The way to make wood ssgo further" in
cold weather, is to have it sawed and split
and piled up outside the door in place OF
being in the woodshed. BY this means a
load of wood has been known to go half q
mile in one night. -
The editor OF g Southern paper is report
ed to have discovered New Testament
wrote an elaborate review Of t. e aid d0ae 0@ae
very much disappointed when the foreman
brought his copy back and told him it was
not new book. ~
The funny man of the Graphic must be
suppressed. He says that Edison has IN
vented swa'!ow-taiI coat that can be used
as SCOT jack! Bubbins read the state
ment. and. or Sunday evening. when a
Rochester fr,lit-tree agent called on Bub-
bins daughter. the old man thought the
yout! wore that kind Of coat. and the
result was painful in the extreme TO the
young man.
The creditors demand sale OF the Saint
Louis bridge and the connecting tunnel.
upon which Sl250,000 is due and nnpaid.
-Erchangc. We hope the bridge will not
be moved. as it is a great convenience to
the travelling public. As to the people Of
st. Louis. it would not discommodate them
much. as. if the truth is told. they could
ferry over in their wives shoes safe en-
ough. -
A West Hill man painted a ferocions-
looking sign. ssLook out for the dog and
put it up in the front yard to scare away
tramps. The next morning tramp with
/, bad smile. shoulders like a load of hay.
a club with death smiling out OF every
knot Of it, raped at the front door. de-
manded some hot buiscuit. meat. potatoes
and a cup of coffee, and asked pleasantly,
s.Flow is the dog!'
An Oil Citizen has completed and for
warded to the Postaffice Department at
Washington a model of a spostal-clerk-
proof enyelop." The new envelop is in
tended for the transmission of money thro'
the mails. It is made of chilled steel. and
the inventor claims that the tools now EN-
ployed by bank robbers and safe-blowers
will have no effect upon it. The envelop
is sealed with combination lock, much
after the pattern of those used on the
vaults in the Bank Of England but is much
more complcx.-OA City Derrick.