West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-08-24
Anecdotes Of Printers.
I"J.n.B IN New York paTer .

persons than for creeds. He is a congenial
leveler; he holds that no man can be
more than msn, and that most men are
much less. He habitually speaks of
the Car of all the Russias as Aleck
ROmanoh; the Emperor OF Germany as
Old Dutch Bill Of the Pope OF Rome as
an ancient dufer. In his ewes forms
are puerilities, and etiquette sham.
There Is not grain of hero worship in
his composition; he would not fatter
Neptune for his trident nor Jove for his
power to thunder. He would ask the
Sultan of Turkey for chew of tobacco !:
he would invite the Grand Llama TO a
game of draw-poker.
Several years before Chief Justice
Tauey's death the Government Printing.
office at Washington had occasion to
send him some proof-slips of an impor-
tant decision, and they were intrust d
To printer boy, who appeared al the
Judges office and before the Judge
with, " Is fancy imp"
presume you wish TO see the Chief
Justice of the United States ?''
| don't care a cuss about him. pye
got some proofs for Taney."
am the Hon. Roger b. Taney
" You're fancy aren't you %
" am not, fellow. l am the Hon.
Roger b. fancy"
Then the proofs are not for YOU"
and the unceremonious messenger would
have gone off with them if the Judge
had not admitted himself to be Tanev
simply.
On &C tain occasion Edward Everett
visited the composing-room OF the Bos-
ton advertiser at n late hour to read
"a ,f Il 1.
see at an earlier hour Extremely par-
ticular about his style, he was altering
sentences and making additions while
the forms were waiting, which so irri.
tated the foreman that he roared out
Cut il short, Everett--confound it, cut
i short; there's no time now for patch
ing up bad English"
New Orleans. not long ago, was
afflicted with one Williams, a newspaper
bore-he was known geographically a.
the Great artesian-who was constantly
sending poor articles 10 the dailies, and
haunting the Offices 10 inquire if they
had been used. He went into the sane
tum Of the Picdyunc in the morning,
nobody being present but compositor,
rather muddled from drink over night.
who had taken possession of one of the
desks
" Is the editor in ~
- an-swer-tO- - that-name," replied
the typo, who was very exact and delb-
crate of speech, and who recognized the
bore at once. May-I-be-per nit
ted t,o-in.quire-the nature of your
bus-iness?"
" want to know if an elaborate poem
of mine, entitled The Rose OF the
South has been accepted"
Mister Williams, allow me 10 saw
that when / first saw you / formed the
impression that you were con-sum-
mate ass and although have met YOU
since on great many oc-ca- sions and
under variety Of cir-cum. stances.
have never seen any thing in your con-
duct to cause me to change the o-pin-
ion which / then formed. GOod-morn-
ing, Mister Williams"
From that day Mr.. Williams ceased TO
infest the Office of the Picayune, i'm
which, after this incident, he was called
the Artesian Unwell
"A typo who has made some absurd blum
derin Savannah will learn, on enterinpan
office in Milwaukee, that his blunder has
preceded him. Some ludicrous incident
OF which he is the subject, or object,
will cross the continent almost az rap
idly as he can. a good thing on him,
as IL is styled, will take up its residence
In the news-roOms Of every large city.
and refuse TO be expelled. He can not
put quietus upon his mistakes, either
professional or personal. They will
confront him again and again at unex-
pected seasons and in out-of the way
places In printiDg-office all days are
judgment days; printers are condemned
ft4Nr Il Ns.- . a.
each time pun shed with new tortures
At first they are goaded nearly " frenzy
by this worthless iteration; but they
get used to IT, as eels are presumed to
get used 10 being skinned At last, they
assume TO be callous, and to seem Gallons
is 70 cripple criticism. ! have known gen
sitive youths 10 suffer terribly i'm their
Typographical initiation, and to be
obliged, after heroic endurance, to re-
linquish an avOCation in which the bed
OF PTocrustes ~ 10 unTemittiDgly en-
ployed
have an instance still vivid i'm nv
mind. A young printer had come to
the city from an interior town, and a
" take of a critique ! lad written on
Edwin Booths Hamlet" fell 10 his
lot. The melancholy Dane" occurring
in sentence, he set IL the melancholy
Dave" and, by an oversight Of the
proof-reader, so it appeared in the morn
ing issue The error, which had oc-
CURED by "v" getting into the &" m"
box, was no indication of hisintelligence,
but it was too ludicrous to pass un.
noticed,
When the unfortunate wight entered
the compOsiug-room the next day he
was greeted with, Here comes Dave
Hamlet
" How are you, DaveT'
z" ] don't care much for Booths Ham
let Dave Hamlet is the man for my
money"
This evening will be presented the
sublime tragedy Of David Hamlet,
jun
Conundrum: Why did Hamlet
kill his uncle2 Because he called him
Dave Verdict Of the jury, Served
him right"
Hamlet was the Prince of Dun
kirk; Dave Hamlet was bully boy
with q gl'ss eye"
David thou at the man ~ etc.
The poor typo turned crimson, and
then pale. and AZ the raillery went on he
attempted TO explain, which caused it to
increase. Finally some imp Of the
stick burst out into impromptu
dOopcrot.