The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1878-10-03
Wit in Court.

Keen and cutting words, or even trl-
aing incivilities, INDUCED In at the eX-
.pense of counsel, have some times met
with swift retribution. Plunket was once
engaged in q case, when toward the end
of the afternoon it became question
whether the Court should proceed or adj
iOurn till the next day. Plunket eE-
pressed his willingness to go on II the
Jury would "set."
est, sir, sit" said the presiding Judge,
mot 'set;' hens set"
Il thank you, my Lore" said Plunket.
The case proceeded, and presently the
Judge had occasion to observe that II
that were the case he feared the action
would not Gay"
Lie, my lord, lie" exclaimed the bar
rister, mot lay hens lay" o.,
"If you don't stop your coughing, SIR,
said a hasty and irritable Judge, I'll line
you a hundred pounds" "Il give your
lordship two hundred ifyou can stop II
for me" was the ready reply.
Curran was Cnce addressing a jury,
when the Judge, who was thought to be
antagOnistic to his client, intimated his
dissent from the arguments advanced by
a shake Of the head. Il see, gentlemen,
said Curran, 'I see the motion Of his
| lordship's head. Persons unacqlualnted
with his lordship would be apt to think
! this implied q difference of opinion, but
| be assured, gentlemen, this is not the
case. When YOU know his lOrdship as
we'll as I do, it will be unnecessary to
| tell YOU that when he shakes his head
! there really is nothing in II"
On another occasion Curran was plead
! inc before FitzgibbOn, the Irish ChanceE
/ lor. with whom he was on terms Of any
! thing but friendship. The Chancellor
with the distinct purpose, as it would
! seem, of insulting the advocate, brought
with him on the bench a large New
foundland dog, to which he devoted &
great deal of his attention while CurTaT
was addressing very elaborate argu
ment to him. At a very material point
in the speech the Judge turned quite
away, and seemed to be wholly engros
sed with his dog. Curran ceased t
speak. go on, 60 on, Mr.. Curran," salC
the Chancellor. "Oh, l beg a thousanC
pardons, my lord, " said the witty barrls
ter, 'I really was under the impression
that your lordships were IN consulta
ton" =.
But, perhaps, the most scrdshing re
ioinder ever flung back IN return for al
! insult from the bench was that whicl
this same advocate hurled at Judge Rob
insOn.
Judge Robinson is described as a maj
of sour and cynical disposition, who ha
been raised to the bench-so, at least,
was commonly believed-simply becaus
he had written in favor Of the Govern
ment of his day number of pamphlet
remarkable for nothing but their servil
and rancorous sCurrility. At the tim
when Curran was only justraising lnt
notice, and while he was yet poor an
struggling man, this Judge ventured upo
a sneering Joke, which, small though
was, but for Curran's ready wit an
searching elOquence, might have doI
him irreparable injury.
Speaking of some opinion OF couns'
on the opposite side, Curran SAID he ia
consulted all his books and could nt
; find a single case in which the prlnclp
in dispute was thus established.
"This may be, Mr.. Curran," sneere
= the Judge; "but 1 suspect your law
2 brarv is rather limited"
CUrran eyed the heartless toady for
moment and then broke forth with th
l noble retaliation:
2 ut is very true, my lord, that l a,
d! ! moor. and this circumstance has certall
t " rather curtaiIed my library. My bool
l are not numerous, but they are seleC
I and I hope have been perused with pro
d er dispositions. have prepared myse
i for this high profession rather by u
S study of a few good books than by cor
e posifion of a great many bad ones. / a
It not ashamed of my poverty, but shou
he ashamed of my wealth if 1 shou
, stoop to acquire it by servility and &C
It ruption. IfIrise not to rank, shall
IS least be honest; and should I ever cea
IS to be so, many an example shows L
a that an iII-acquired elevation, by MAXI
Il me the more conspicuous, would on
IS make me the more universally and
e 41ri077c1y- rOOtpmDtlble,"