The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1878-03-30
Breakfast Table Crumbs.

THERE were no dull razors in the
days of Job.
WHEN Dutchman makes up his
mind to sneeze, he has to say so in plain
English.
WHAT strange fatality continues to
follow Kate Claxtonl She was married
last Sunday.
IT takes a brave man to forgive a
wrong, and sober one to find the af-
fnity of a night-key.
SOLOMON in all his glory couldn't
stand on tip-toe and reach the plume on
a drum-maj or's chapeau.
The New York Herald thinks we are
borrowing nation. Well, yes, in the
matter of umbrellas, we're not so slow.
IT may be little consolation to the
pennyless to know that gold is found in
every part of the earth surface Arise
and dig. r
JAMES FREEMAN CLARKE has taken
the trouble to write book about Chow
to Find the Stars" Don't wait to read
it-step on an orange peel. 81.
FRANCIS MURPHY, the temperance re-
former, gets 5000 a week, or $3.50 night
Hammond, the revivalist, receives 5000
week. 1t pays to be good. .
THERE are eight thousand and sixty
four distinct languages, and yet the man
who smashes his nose on the edge of a
door, in the dark, finds difficulty in ex-
pressing himself. ri
THERE were tramps in olden times.
AZ any rate it seems as though we had
read somewhere that somebody had re-
fused to go to pool and wash himself,
long while ago. -
In French the necessaries of life mean
pepper and salt. Give Pierre ten
pounds of condiments and he canmake
the hind leg of frog feed all the sick
men in regiment.
FROM the enormous load of debt Vie
tor Emanuel left behind him for Hum
to shoulder, it looks very much as though
the old man had been trying his hand at
running newspaper. ~
MANY of the leading journals are pro-
posing plans for stimulating business, and
very oddly, none of them have suggested
that advertising is good blister for
that kind of complaint. r-sI.. .-.
WALKING having been pronounced
injurious to the health, by some of the
doctors, it will not be long before all
the young ladies will refuse to move a
slipper in any other kind of dance. t
CAN Illinois woman has hair seven
feet long" says floating item. Per
haps there's some mistake about this.
The last we heard of Theodore Tilton he
was lecturing out there somewhere.
The many friends of Kate Claxton
who have been moved to sympathy upon
learning of her bankruptcy, will be
gratified to learn that her new father-in-
law is the Secretary of gas company.
AN ordinary hens egg only weighs
about two ounces, but George, the Count
Joannes, has found several lately that
he thought weighed nearer ten pounds
when they first came into his possession.
HARPER's Magazine for March pub
fishes letter purporting to be from
Martha Washington to lady friend
but claims that it was written by
George himself. We believe 1.-THE
letter has no postscript.
0 Music! Sweet echo from Paradise |
tributed by every age-monumented
in every heartl embalmer of precious
memories in soothing lullabies, sweet
songs of childhood, joyous bridal bells,
and sad, awe-inspiring requiems! O
ravishing Muse seductive siren whittier
leadest thou? Opera at five dollars a
chair? Yuml yum Selahl
The new silver dollar has on the OBJ
verse side the Goddess of Liberty, and
en- the reverse an American spread
eagle. Republics are ungrateful, and
now is it any wonder the Sweet Singer"
declares she won't write another pound
OF poetry to prevent a famine, and
George Francis Train don't want to live
over two hundred years.