Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1878-12-26
W.T. uRN HzhDzOr.

A mathematical paradox-One stew
"a two.
Don't get in debt TO shoemaker il ye
would call your sole your own.
For the hand ola young lady you ma
become suitor. il you suit 'er.
The man who boaste.l that he was .abo,
- board occupied lodgings Immediately ov.
4 diningroom.
The Injunction to give the devil his dl
is obeyed in printing offices Satur,l.,
20 nights.
|' M Worth, the motliste. it is said was one
90. printer. Some one says he still ''make
Is up forms.''
lngersoll made $4,000 out of :.Hell.
sir Our protane contributor says he will neve
H.. ~. IN Ike that much in it,
ng In the New York peniientiarv there ar
q clergymer, ~ lawyers. 13 doctors and
printers. AS usual, the printer is behind
90 SO many mnrdelers about to be hanged
IS IS. hope to meet all in heaven" that W,
have about concluded to start for the othe
place.
\ A London publisher spent Sl2.5OO in ad
verislng new magazine before the frs
number was printed, of which 100000
. copies We're consequently sold.
= fellow says: Home with scoldino
wife and an upset beehive are one and the
s"me to him, us in either case he gets
tongue more than he wants.
Scientific men say that a person is half
an inch taller in the morning than in the
evening. In spite of this we all know that
men get feariully high in the evening some
times.
In 4 recent publication, a .'funny fellow
writes some verses entitled. Lines on a
Pig" If he will head his next eilusion
Lines on Horse it will be more appro-
pirate.
There is something nice about the balance
OF trade. \ worthy farmer who comes
MO Town loaded with new wheat. al
most every day goes home loasled with
old rye.
How mean the Buffalo -Czp,ess in this:
TIE St. Louis lady saYs she has never even
seen Mr.. Tilden. This accounts for the
rumor that she is going to marry him. If
she had seen him she wouldn't think of
such a thing.
If we we're SchuZ we'd kill somebody.
He never can have Il genlcmanly contro-
versy with anybody without nine o-tentlls of
the newspapers fall to shouting to him to
keep his SciilIz on.
latssSt from ,MeXas11An new kipa naff naf
this State since II O'Clock this morning.
Homes for tie homeless! Come to Texas
by The NJ. X. and T.-Bulingtoa Ha~heyc.
A man very much intoxicated was taken
bail LIN out?' inquired a bystantier of a
friend. '.Bail him Out:" exclaimed the
other, ''why. you could not pump Linn
out"
Lift was rot for the years couchcd upon
his head.'' wrote the obituary writer; and
then he got right up and howled when the
type-setter rendered it. "tf it were not for
his eals he could have stood upon his |
head"
What is more aggravating than, when
|
tempt to button your overcoat up to the
neck. and ascertain that the only button
on the coat is located down at its equator.
In The State Of Alabama the negroes
chew the tassel of the fir tree instead of
tobacco. and seem quite pleased with the
substitute. Well. does not the old adage
say. '.Ee fir-chewers and you will be hap
py?"
'.The sun rises in the east" explained
the teacher .'Yes. and there's sutliin'
rises in the west. toO,' chimed in one OF
the smaller boys. "Well, what is it?'
asked the schoolma'am. '.Injuns!" shout
ed the urchin.
Andrew Jackson Davis has just publish
ed ii graphic work on 1.-The Foundation Of
He'll" but we are panied to note that. in
common with other guide-books ofa sim
liar nail, e. it is not accompanied with Il
map and diagrams.
| Ne vons lady passenger on the train.
after passinga temporary bridge.-"'Tiiank
goodness, we are now on Terra f.nsa.'
Faceiious genileman.-"Yes ma'am Less
terror and more firmer.'
An I,;shman on being asked how he
liked America. replied: by nle soul. it
beats anything iver saw tor fiadom. And
the beauty oft, do ye see, is, that if yees
don't like it yees can lave it,"
IL hope there are no cannibals around
here" said stupid traveller to United
States frontier girl. as she was mixinga
batch of bread. .'There are plenty of 'em.'
returned she, pouring some corn-meal into
the pan. I've always eat a little Indian
with our bread.''
A newly-wetlled couple from the conn-
try went TO smoky Pittsbuig- all places
in the world and, for the first time in
their lives. saw and bought some peanuts.
There. Mandy!' exclaimed the bride
groom. after few moment. Of vehement
suction 1--we been suck'n' that darned
thing for five minutes. and there amt a
bit of juice in it! Come on, let's CO."
The quickest method of developing hui
man life is to plant photographers cam
era in front ofa lonesome, deserted coun-
try hotel. and long, long before the arts,
can get focus. tile porch, balcony, doors,
windows, side fences and dormer windows
of that hostelry will be alive with smiling,
unconscious humanity.
1t took three men. two boys and a brin-
die dog an hour and halftO drive a sandy
pig distance of two blocks down to the
ferry-boat yesterday afternoon. When the
wearisOme drive en5ed the dog was bit in
three places, the by had sprained his l.
ankle, broken two windows by throwing
stones at the pig, one Of the men was tired ,
II death and the other two were drunk,
and the pig was two miles back from the
river, going west. II
One night last week, at a party In Tor
onto, y young man was frightening some
Of the young ladies by his daring exhib:- !.