, 1878-04-12
A Male Flirt.

| HOW often do the masculine wiseacres
"imonish girls not to firt, alleging as a
reason for this that there is great danger
Oh breaking some poor fellows heart hy
such cruel conduct. From request SO
frequently reiterated some weak Drained
novice might suppose that hidden ol iect
within the bosom Of the stcrner sex was
made of blown glass and eucased in
jewellers cotton or tissue paper. Whereas
late anatomical examinations made by
some Of the female graduates Of surgical
institute proves that safely guarded
treasure in the breast Of certain class of
men to be solid ball, formed of sub.
stance resembling vulcanized India-rub.
Der. 1t may be pierced, crushed, ami
hammered with Hercuean force, but
when released from pressure, it will I'M.
medlately rebound and assume its origi.
nal proportion.
In view of this established fact, I would
advise those soi disant guardians of young
ladies to turn their attention to that class
OF the genus homo ycleped male tlirt.
There is missionary work for the phiIan-
thropist. But, alas in these latter days
no valiant champion will wage war
against his sex, or engage in single COM
bat with that herd of tame beasts who
intest society under the garb of honorable
men. Therefore, it becomes woman's
duty to expose the false brotherhood to
the scorn and contempt of the honest,
noble and true.
Don't imagine, young gentlemen, that
Margaret Wildwood, spinster, is a broken.
spirited victim of some smooth. tongued
villain with an India-rubber heart, nor
think that all the sweetness in her nature
has acidulated from the ardent glances Of
his serpent eyes. For you will miss the
mark as far as the boy did who went out
to shoot hawk, but killed his favorite
chicken; and, furthermore, you will be
laughed at beside when you kneel again
to "the merriest girl that's out" and
swear to love none else but her.
A sensible girl knows the ring of true
metal from its counterfeit, and can dis
criminate between the compliments of
gentleman and blockhead's fattery.
She says:
No hattery, boy an honest man can't live by't.
II is sneaking art which knaves
Use to cajole and soften fools withal.
Still, if the fellow will persist in lying,
and tells her she is the heroine of his
dreams, the idol of his heart, wingless
angel, etc, ordinary politeness forbids
her to contradict him, and knowing it is
| better to humor fool than to be plagued
with one, she gives him a Roland for an
Oliver, and invariably comes off con-
queror. The discomfited coxcomb, with
his pride and vanity considerably dimin-
ished, and feeling no larger than mos.
quito, retires from her presence wiser,
if not better man.
Although convinced against his will,
he finds that all maidens are not like
moths, to be caught by glare. However,
he does not possess magnanimity enough
to confess the truth, but will slyly in
sinuate to his equally mean contederates
that he had amused himself in making
love to Miss ----, but if he had dreamed
that she was so much interested in him,
he would have refrained, and spared her
poor, tender heart.
Vain, deluded wretch! To think q
girl who possessed one atom of self
respect could or would give sigh for Il
soulless pigmy who would steal
The livery of the court of Heaven
To serve the devil in.
If he could hear the merry peals of
laughter from bevy of light-hearted
girls as she compares notes with them,
aud discovers that he, Mr.. NarcissuS
Spooney, had tried with
The same piece Of poetry, and the same piece
of prose,
TO win the beautiful Estele, and pretty little
Rose,
he would be fully convinced that the
amusement was not confined to himself.
Chivalry has apparently died out with
the heroes of the late war. Self love
and selfconceit have usurped its place,
and become the bane of society. There
fore, to obviate this great national evil, /
would say y:-Girls, come to the rescue,
for you alone possess the remedy; and
my advice is, use it with discretion, and
make those degenerate sons of noble sires
acknowledge your true worth and power.
lOWcVei, yOuuB iauloS, w Ane"iO PSi
feet success in this rebellious undertaking,
l would suggest first the cultivation of
your heads and hearts. Then tlirt when
ever YOU discover "Barkis is wiling;"
but maintain your dignity; allow no un-
due familiarity; keep him at respectful
distance, and, if necessary, pelt him with
sugar-coated bullets until you demolish
his brazen helmet, and show him to the
community in his true colors. You will
thus become benefactress to your sex,
and merit the admiration of honorable
men.
A male flirt! The antipodes of natures
nobleman. My contempt for the frater-
nifty is too great to find expression in
words. Although he might be an
Apollo in person, Socrates in wisdom,
and Cln.us in wealth, if he were devoid
Of honor and truth, crested dragon, or
a basilisk, would not be more hideous in
the eyes of a true woman.-Haggie Wild
D0od, in Home JOurndy..
.