Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1878-02-13
HUI NOR.

uuMOr.
If young man wants to see his name
in II paper, let him get married. He
will never enjoy his death notice.
wiring out the DID," rs the washer
woman said when she lifted an editors
shirt from the suds.
A tailor, in skating, fell through the
ice; he was afterward heard to declare
that he would never again leave his
"hot goose" for "cold duck"
MA" said little girl" what is all
this fuss about trademarks? Is it the
trademarks that make so many wrin-
kles in pas forehead?'
When you have fellow down and he
cries out for an armistice, there is dam
ger that he wants to get up and try it
again.
"A kitten that is drowned before it
gets its eyes open is saved the pain of
glowing up and getting its tail pinched
by the woodshed door"
A newspaper editor says, 1--WE have
received notice of marriage for inscr-
ton, to which was appended the origi-
nal announcement, 'Sweethearts mt II
distance will please accept this intima-
ton"
The bill of plumber in Paris con-
tanned the following items: "To search
ing for gas leakage, two francs to
having found it, three francs"
A farmer out toward the Ridge, who
bought a kicking COW three weeks ago,
already talks of withdrawing from
the church.-Rome Sentinel,
"Och," said u lovesick Hibernian,'
what a recreation it is to be dying of
love! 1t sets the heart aching so deli
cately there's no taking wink of sleep
for the pleasure of the pain"
A passenger train on an IRISH rail-
way a few days since ran over an intox-
icated fellow on the track. He was so
insensible to the magnitude of his mis-
fortune rs to remark to the guard, as
he looked ut his own lacerated limbs,
"Arrah, now, this is too bad didn't
name to stop the train"
"Anna, dear, if should attempt to
spell cupid, why could not get beyond
the first syllable % Anna gave it up,
whereupon William said: Because
when ! come to C II, of course | can
not go further"
i never can enjoy poetry when Pm
cookin," said an old lady. But when
] step out to feed the hogs, and hist
myself on the fence, and throw my
soul into few lines Of 'Cap'n Jinks,' it
does seem rs if this airth was made to
live on, after all y
"The times arc hard, my dear" said
q man to his better half, land find il
difficult to keep my nose above water"
"You could easily keep your nose
above water" returned the lady, 'if
you didn't keep it SO often above
brandy"
Ten dimes make one dollar" said
the schoolmaster. Now go on, sir. Ten
dollars make one--what? "They make
one mighty glad, these times" replied
the boy. and the teacher, who hadn't
got his last months salary yet, con-
clnded the boy was about right.-Ne'c
York Commercial advertiser.
Small girl" Mamma, give me some
more pie" Mamma (who wants the
small girl to say "please'0-"I don't
hear you, my child" Small girl
"Give me some more pie" Mamma
81 don't hear you, my child" Small
girl-"Oh, mamma, you must be near
sighted in the ears. IN. Y. World.
Actual fact A pous man was going
through the Common, one Sunday, and
came upon some youngsters playing
marbles" Boys y he said, boys, do
you know what day it is?' One Of the
imps turns to bystander with " Here,
can you tell this man what day it is p
he don't know"
Out in Dakota, the other day, stage
load of passengers were compelled to
hold their hands above their heads
while gang Of highwaymen robbed
them. One of the victims, who re-
Marked "This is a high-handed piece
Of business" was allowed to keep his
watch as a reward for his humor