The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-04-25
Steady Diet from the Breakfast Table.

OCcauy DleG tho DrcdAiasb IaDlos
A"NoBBY" thing in boots-corns.
ONE street awning doesn't make a
summer.
DID you wei see a country town that
hadn't the best brass band in the State9
LIFE is full of rainbows to the woman
who can crowd her foot into a No. 2
shoe.
BLUE blood and royal birth can't
save a mans hair. The Prince of Wales
is growing bald.
AN industrious Irishman wrote to a
friend: my idle time is all occupied
with business cares"
WHEN the poet sang of something that
was STRONG without hands," he proba-
bly, referred to butter.
EVEN 10. Cook can not explain why
a chicken always prefers to be on the
other side of the fence from a tramp.
In Massachusetts they call burglars
midnight mechanics" In West Vir-
ginia they call them out and hang them.
ONE by one the solid men of the land
disappear. The Cardiff giant was broken
up to macadamize a road the other day.
T Is sweet to hear the droning hum of bees,
The songs of birds the blooming trees among;
IT'S sweet to sit beneath those blooming trees,
But not so sweet to jump because you're stungl
FoRTY-sEvEN thousand Canadians
have gone to Europe with the expecta-
ton of getting to be suffers in the East
ern war.
A GOOD deal of abuse is being show
cred upon the dollar, but it will never
get lonesome for the want of friends
buzzard or no buzzard.
"WHEN Gladstone can find nothing
to do he writes a letter." That is just
the difference between us and Gladstone.
When we can find nothing to do we do
it.
The effect of the European situation
| upon the market is wonderful. Apples,
which six months ago sold for eighty
cents a bushel, now cost that much a
peck.
THE mind never reels and staggers
under the burden of vain regret quite
so much as when the woman who CAM
read finds a lot of love letters in hel
husbands pocket.
WHEN the Prime Minister notified
Lordy Salisbury to "be ready for any
event." the general impression arose il
this country that the Prime Minister
was going to treat.
A LIBERAL education will help a maj
along wonderfully, no matter what hi
turns his attention to. A graduate O
Yale College is making six dollars a da.
blacking boots in New York.
POLITICAL economy strikes a snas
that won't bulge sometimes. The bull
of a loaf of bread indicates with unerrin.
precision the condition of the times, bu
the size Of a tobacco guild never varies
DIR. GLEASON says the surest, quick
est and best means of stopping nos
bleed is a vigorous motion of the jaws
So, so, ahl That accounts for the com
plant being almost exclusively confne'
to the whiskered sex.
Mrs. PARTINGToN's remark concern
ing going to church is SO timely as to b
worthy of repetition now. "NothinI
does me 80 much good" said she, ga
to go to church and hear a populou
pasture dispense with the gospel"
The talking machine is all very wei
in its way, but will Mr.. Edison allow oil
Father Time to jump into the mex
century without making an effort t
send along a beefsteak FOUNDER that will
make future generations rise up and cal
him a bully boy?
WHEN a wild untutored child of tn
forest goes to Washington and stand
in the presence of a department clerl
he returns to his wigwam and tells tn
sachems he has seen a man with a hea
towering above the mighty oak, and
look more terrible than a prairie On fire
The prescience of coming trouble
never nor acute than in childhood
sunny hours. When theN old man al
ruptly says: John, pull off that cos
Its too warm for you," the boy
generally right when he believes he wi
soon find more warmth in his shir
sleeves than he could on the inside {
an overcoat as thick as a plank.
The nineteenth century has bee
prolific in thoughtand discovery. Civi
ization has advanced with sure and rapi
stride; but with all u progress i
science, art, mechanism, politics, hors
!, racing, and 50 forth, the humiliating ia,
can not be lodged that a reliable test fl
coming at the age of spring chicken
one of the things that the best brains
futurity alone can evolve.
OLD Mr.. Karduf, who weighs clol
. on to three hundred pounds, and h
| wife, who could "teeter" very comfor
ably on the same plank with him, starte
for Walnut Hills the other day in
, buggy drawn by a horse with a high.
|. discouraged look about the ribs. The
were accompanied by their gran
daughter, a midget of three veal
e When they struck the Gilbertayenl
+ hill, it was all the poor beast could
E to make the ascent, and he was fl
quently obliged to halt and elbow
E The little one watched the tedious pr
o gress with much interest and comm
e Grafton, and finally said: "Grandp
. hadn't l better get out and walkf"