The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1878-01-19

completely wrapped IN thought that
he was tied up, labeled and sent off on the
train of ideas"
A LIBEL-Some vile traducers say
that for the period of month before
marriage, and a month after death, men
regard their wives as angels.
A New YORK Judge has just decided
that wedding presents are the property of
the bride. How about meerschaum
pipes and tobacco pouehes?- Worcester
Press
Il AM afraid you will come to want"
sd id an old lady to an English gentleman.
4" / have come to that already" was the
reply; " | want your daughter The old
lady opened her eyes.
THE nuptials of the Widow Canter to
Thomas Rush were thus chronicled:
When Cupid did this maiden banter,
At Hymens course to take a brush
AT first she started witha Canter,
But now she goes II with Rush.
A YOUNG man sent sixty cents to
firm in Michigan who advertised recipe
to prevent bad dreams. He received
a slip of paper on which was written:
Don't go to sleep"
DIsAPPoINTED.-A man hid in pub
lie doorway and jumped out and kissed
his wife. She didn't whoop and yell as
expected but remarked, in a whisper,
t'Don't be quite so fast, please people
about here know me-
A COUNTRY woman who had ridden
only in omnibuses hailed a horse-car, and
waited for it to come to hef Enraged at
the driver she walked home out of spite,
and reported the case of negligence at
headquarters, as soon as possible.
BEGGARs should not be choosers.-
Laird (condescendingly)-"Do you
think you could carry home hare,
Sandy" Sandy" Weel Laird, | dinna
doot but a could if a had a pair o rab-
bits tae balance it WI"
A COUNTRY paper says: {" We have
/ received a circular warming us to be
careful when taking SO bills, as so many
counterfeits are in circulation. Ten
dollar billsl What is a SO bill, any
way?"
OUT at Austin, Nevada. young man
asked his lady love if she would accom-
pany him to an old folks concert. She
fared up at the idea Of his calling her
''old folks" and now he says he would
rather be a widower than marry woman
so ''tOuchy" about her age.
A YOUNG lady came to Sabetha the
other day to have her picture taken.
When the artist showed her the " proof"
and asked her how she liked it, she
placidly remarked that he had "put too
much mouth on it" to suit her
,Sabetha (Kaa) Adcanee
For the First Reader: Do you see
that aged man? He is almost seventy
years old. Do you suppose he is very
rich? Yes he is. Once he was poor
boy. He has worked hard all his long
life. He will not live much longer
I After he is dead his son will play polo
Nan ,eho isn't going to de rich.
IT wasn't fire nor burglar in the
house that caused fond wife to arouse
her husband from a deep sleep the other
night by a dig in the ribs but it was to
say that she had at last thoughto of a suit
able present to give Anna Maria Mari
gold, her old schoolmate friend Boston
/ transcript.
/ The current topic affects even the chill
dren. One of our citizens was somewhat
nonplussed the other day by his little
motherless daughter, who asked: "Say,
papa, did mamma ever believe that some
folks would be lost?" g Yes, she did,"
replied the father. "Then what did she
suppose would become of you?"
A MAN named Bennert, who lives on
West Hill, says his great grandfather
fought with Washington. We have
carefully examined "Irving's Life" and
other authorities, but we can find no
record or mention of Washington having
had fight with man named Bennert,
so We think our West Hill friend must
be mistaken.-HaUkeye.
81 LIKE my mother" said Billy
Blickers to his Sunday school teacher,
" like everything, but when she makes
me set in the house and trot the baby all
the time when a hand-organ with a
monkey is over to Thompson's, I gets
spunky an cross, an | forgits that it's
bad to wish | was an orfun SOS | could
get away an git to be pirate with long
whlskers an red boots"
SAY, father" saws James. looking
up from his book, " Frederick Charles
was going to fight the Austrians, and
said to the Prussian troops, MAY your
hearts beat toward God, and your fists
upon your enemy Now, father, do
people fight when their hearts are
rlght?" I" Yes, | suppose, if they fight
in good cause" said the father. "I
must try to get my heart right, them
said James, q for | am mad at Bill Jones
and want to fight him."
A READER in the country writes us as
follows: "a mule in our village yester-
day afternoon inadvertently kicked a
can of nitro-glycerine. A barn one
hundred yards distant was badly
wrecked, and the mule appeared some
what surprised, whirling around two or
three times before resuming work at
nibbling grass. We don't believe it
that Is, we do believe the kicking and
wrecked barn part, but we don't believe
That the mule was surprised. 1t is libel
On the mule. A mule is surprised at
nothing -Norristoaon Herald
THEY tell about a man in Maine who
refused to get up and light the fire, and
as his wife said'she wouldn't, they remain
ed IN bed thirtyseyen hours before this
matter was settled. Our sympathies
are, OF course, with the woman. and we
may be permitted to entertain regret
That 1t did not occur to her to perform
great deed of self-sacrifce upon this
occasion. How noble and beautiful
would have been the example set her
husband, how touchingiy would she
have shown her wifely devotion. how
keenly would she have made him feel
his meanness, if she had risen and made
the fire-if she had risen, we say, and
made the fire under the bed, in order to
rout him out all OF sudden! A woman
who throws away such Il chance as that