Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1878-02-13
ruNxYanAPEs.

TUMMY01ARED.
A LITTLE boy will never willingly 70.
linquish any Of his cakes except his
spank-aches.
A HAWK swooped down upon weather
vane on church spire In Charleston, N.
c., and was digusted to and it only IN
imitation rooster.
NEWTON did not labor half % hard,
with hand and brain, To discover the
principle of gravitation, ~ the ingenious
and ambitious compositor labors in over
spacing to get fat paragraph.
GARIBALDI's request to King Humbert
that he will follow in his fathers foot
steps" is disagrecably dubious when We
reflect that it's only last week tsat the
father in question died.-N n C6sswey-
cial advertiser.
Mr.. SAM CLAY, Of Bourbon, KY,
owns nearly enough land to enable him
to ride to Paris, KY, on his own proper
ty. The profits on his farming opera
tions enable him to buy 500 or 600 acres
of blue grass every year.
"I WILL now offer you Reubens"
said the auctioneer, "a gem in its way"
No bid. The auctioneer passed it and
taking up another picture exclaimed,
"Come, gentlemen, here is Rembrandt
by the same"
TRANsLArroNs from Ollendorfs
French grammar: "Have you seen the
silver dollar of our daddies." EYES, mon
seur, I have seen the silver dollar Of our
daddies." "Have you seen the green pawn
ticket of our uncle's?" "Oui," &c.
WHEN Longfellow was preseDts1 TO
Mr.. Longworth of Cincinnati, the latter
remarked: "There il no great difference
in our names" Yes" replied Mr..
Longfellow, +" but north makes the man,
the want of it the telloU."
GRACE GREENWOOD was standing in 4
Warrington horse car, when sudden
start of the car threw her over into =
gentleman's lap, when she said, II beg
pardon, sir; but you see ! am Lap
lander"
AN ANAPOLOGY.-Chinamaniac mistress
with tears in her voice )-"See, Mary,
what your restleaaneas has donsl You
have broken one of my faverite cupsl"
Maid" Yes, MN. I'm very sorry, for
I'm very partial to old china myself! f!-
P3ach.
A YOUNG lady of Williams, Iowa
wishing to return young gentleman his
ring, attached a tag TO it with his name
thereon, and dropped it in the postofice.
On the back of the tag was written Il
hate to, but / must"
A YOUNG man just engaged on .
rancho in Truckee, CAL, was set to driv-
ing q yoke of cattle, and at noon when
he wanted to feed them, was observed
trying to unscrew their horns in order to
get the yoke of the snimala
EVEN Dickens was Z little reckless
sometimes, and tampered with the cred
ulity Of his readers In the Cricket
on the Hearth, for example, We hnd .
"Plummer" as poor q frozen ink, and
as honest a. blind man with NO arna
"WHAT il the best remedy" !" asked .
preacher of . shrewd observer, for an
inattentive audience?" "Give them
something to attend TO-" was the signif-
cant reply. Hungry sheep will look
up to the rack If there is hay in i"
MRS. HELEN p. JENKINS says the BIZ
BILE never granted men the ballot. No,
and it doesn't commend them TO wear
helmet hats, either, but they will do it.
It is an awful rebellious, wicked, pro
sumptuous old world, Helen.-BsrlGsg-
ton Ha,oksye.
ALoNnoN letter suggests that latch
keys should be affixed to watch chains %
that the former may not be left in the
door, as they often are. On the other
hand, it is Impossible that, on what the
Rev. Butte Crawley termed /" vet nights, =
the watch and chain might be lsft there
with it.
Ar one Of Mrs. Hayes recent recep
tionA she asked little girl what heI
name was. Dora" res,lied The child.
s,.s Msls, ~ ,ss e0,s 1ou. e aYoa,d s si.sd.r,a
answered dora, elf you knew ] Va
from Ohio" Il II said that 1fA Hayel
greatly enjoyed the joke.
"ArD where was the man stabbed?'
asked IN excited lawyer Of . phycictan
1.-THE man was stabbed about an incl
and Z half to the left Of the medal line
and about an inch above the unbilicua
| MAS the reply. "Oh, ~, I un1erstans
hall"
BEFORE beginning the second pals
for the day, . Glasgow clergyman reach
led down into hspocket and took = pine!
Of snuG. Even yet he cannot undel
stand what there was in the fiIst ver1
4 Of the psalm to make the congregatiO
I.uUh vhen he Rad: Nv soul clNavotl
4 to the dust" 4
i TEN dimes make one dollaT," |" rid u
schoolmaster. "Now, gc On, sir Isl
dollars make oncwhatf" !" They max
4 one mighty glad thess times. replied q
boy, and the teacher, who hadn't eot n
4 last months salary ret, concluded tha
the boy was about risht-M 4 ca
Adr.
i OLIVER WENDxLL HOLMw = Il
man who said: "A boy ought 10 b p
in ! barrel, and fed through ~ bnn(
hole until he il eighteen. This lat
not generally known; and We tate upo
Ourselves the responsibility Tor givimG
publicity. We DO hot pallia1e j.
| Holmes, q general thing, bat =
think that, IN these dayh vhen - que
!. ton Of eternal tornent = = ~ -
tied. everything ahonld ~ g11esd ~
. tends 10 mitigate ~ cuIpahility =
Il Bostonian hum0eisk ft g
Il A rrprsrnIAx, On - - ~ I
! 1877. cane acrom ! boy ahoot 1ANh
/ was trying ~ ST nP bloooy Aese.
/ tween ) epat and . ~: H. - -
, "a sad I'D: s nj ut I. sees I I. NJ Z