The Osceola times., 1878-03-16

and Home, but, 80 far as we knew, has
not been printed in book form. 1t is
often read in public by elocutionists,
being stock piece on their list, but we
have found no way to answer the demand
for it except by repiinting it in our col
umns.
MRS. TUBES HAS AN ADVENTURE.
Mr.. EDITOR OF HEARTH AND HOME:
Your perfect gentlemanly way of putting
my letter in your paper last winter, writ
as warning to all bad boys on ice, in
clnes me to send another letter which it
will be warnin' TO all young women
never TO commit the mistake which did
most innocent on Saturday gone 4 week
at big drag goods store in New York.
| had heerd considerable about this ere
store, but | warn't in no way prepared
for all see there. Sakes 1t was equal
t. a dozen villages like Vandusenburg
a.cSmin' out o meetin' all at
once. Such crowd | never see,
and the women mauln' of the goods
without buyin', and the clerks lookin'
on sarcastic just like you see in any
ornery store. Well, | went about bet
tern an heur gettin' couple o'pair O.
good domestic hose for my som Jabez,
and seven.eighths of yard OF stuff for
cheese bags; and sudden, bein' uncom.
mon tired, | felt a weak spell commin'
on, and hadn't hardly strength to ak
for chintz for the setting room sofa.
Next story ma'am,, says the clerk,
kind O. looking sharp at me, wouldn't
Won like To take a elevator %
Well, / was beat 1t seemed most
uncommon proceeding, and what | never
heard no gentleman do before, TO ask me
to take a elevator. had my misgiviugs
what it meant, for our Jabez with his
Jokes and what nots, though his father
and me is most strong temprince folks,
persists sometimes in takin' what he calls
elevators, which is glasses O speerits and
water, calkerlated, as he says, to raise
droopin' ieelins and failin' strength
"Sir," says ], as lofty as | could, 81
prefer not, and to my mind you'd do
better Tor a respectable shop not to be
oflerin' elevators, leastawise not to me-"
SO kept walkin' round, not likin' TO ask
questions shown my country ways, and
still feelin' that awful feelin' OF goneness
which them as has weak spells is subject
to, when another clerk, hearing me ask
tor chintzes, said something again about
my takin' a elevator. BY this time |
felt awful, and so, says | maxim up my
mind it was York fashion, and it warn't
best to seem too back country, Thanks
to YOU, sir" says |, 81 don't mind irwin
something of the kind, bein' most re-
markable thirsty"
Certainly ma'am,' says he, bowing
careless towards stand holdin' fancy
pail with spigot TO it, full of what
might have took to be water, judgin' by
the taste, but | know well enough it was
some deceittul genteel kind of liquor
with the taste and smell taken out, like
they do to benzine and castor oil.
No sooner had | swallowed goblet
of it when the young man pinted
to little room which, if you'll believe
me, Mr.. Editor, give the queerest kind
of jerk you ever see just as ! looked in,
and seein' comfortable sofas all sround
the walls of it, | stepped in. There was
other ladies goin' in too, so we all set
down, and | couldn't help wondering
whether the poor things had been takin'
elevators like me. at won't do no
harm,' says to myself. "to sit here a
minute or two till this weak spell passes
off, when, massy on me il | didn't feel
myself AGoIN' Up! Yes, sgoin' up; and
with me the room, and sofas, and ladies,
and all / clutched hold of the cushion
and stared kind ovid like as not, for one
of the ladies bit her lip as if contem-
plating to laugh, and still we was all
agoin' up, leastwise so it seemed. "It's
all on account O. taking that elevator"
thinks | to myself and then it come up
on me how uncsmmon appropriate the
word was, mesnin' drink, though often
] had heard Jsbez's pascold him for using
that vulgar expression. But couldn't
help feelin' scared, particular when see,
all of a suddent, men and women kind o.
walkin' about in the air. Once | jumped
up to 60 out of the room, but a man
workin' some clockworks in the corner
held out his hand. "lu one moment.
madam !" said he, a pushin' ME back
with such an air
did you take elevator ?" whis-
pered to the lady sitting alongside ofme.
She nodded her head without saying
nothing, and from her queer look |