The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-10-17
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

SENSE AND NONSENSE.
INDIANS are not at all contagious.
They are very hard to catch.
IT takes as much wit not to displease
woman as it takes to please her.
DIFFICULT to real eyes-artificial
eyes, Cincinnati Saturday Night.
FRIENDSHIP between women is only
, suspension of hostilities.-French
Paper.
THE whaling season, which began
with the opening of the public schools,
Is full of promise.
How TO dispel mental gloom-Make
light of your troubles Chicago COM
pscrctal advertiser.
BURNED at the steak-the fingers of
the hired girl who was cooking it,
DG'siclsonVille Sentinel
The man who married an incorrigi-
bic shrew, declared to a friend that he
had contracted q dangerous scold.
A MARK was set upon Cain; bat the
| umbrella was, for some inscrutable
reason, left unprotected. - Boston
Transcript.
AN Oswego man was knocked down
by Goldfish in the hands of a woman.
He pronounced it very like whale
Nesc Haren Register.
A SOMERvlLLE butcher hangs up his
choice beefstcaks in his window and
labels them 1.-The anti-le.n curc."-
Somcrvillc Mass journal
THERE are some pious people with
whom penitence takes the place of
restitution, even as there are some peO-
pie whose gratitude ceases when they
repay loan.
AT st. Anne's Sunday-School, in
Lowell, Mass, in answer to the qucs-
ton. "What is the greatest church
festival?" 4 little orphan of six years
promptly responded, 1.-The strawberry
festival"
A MAN will brag. 1t may be of his
physical powers, his profound wisdom,
his morality, his depravity or even his
sicknesses, violent cough, sore throat,
and all that sort of thing.-Boston
Transcript.
No LESS than three young maidens
were murdered last week by men they
refused to marry. When will the wo.
men of this country learn to say "yes''
when man proposes?-Philadeiphia
Chronicle Herald.
SOME paper asks: "Can truth over
take lie?'' 1t seems funny, but it's
so. Truth, with both bowers and the
ace passes. but never overtakes a lie.
with only one trump, and that seven
spot.-keokuk Constitution.
vnryNyo 1oI0, Coo ,,,o~~l
in describing the character of re-
jected sutton said, "He is not tyrant,
not exactly domineering. but"
Dogmatic," suggested her friend.
No, he has not dignity enough for
that; l think pupmatic would convey
my meaning admirably"
AT a railroad station, lately, an
elderly Irishwoman who had arrived
few seconds after the train had started
set off to run after it. She of course
soon came to halt, when she began to
abuse the accommodating engine,
adding, with "nate' brogue:
+" Fan h! the great black ugly lump!
When she gets as ould as me, bedad,
she won't run so quick!'
A GRAY hair was espied among the
raven locks of charming young lady.
"Oh, pray, pull it out!' she exclaimed.
"N l pull it out ten more will come to
the funeral" replied The one who
made the unwholesome discovery.
Pluck it out, nevertheless" said the
dark-haired damsel; "it's no conse-
quence how many come to the funeral,
provided they all come in black
HIS hair having been cut, and va
rious offers of fancy soap, hair re-
storer, etc., having been declined, with
and without thanks, the barber says
unto him: "Will your hair do that
way, STRIP The customer contem-
plates himself with care in the mirror,
then, returning to the sacrificial chair
and enyeloping himself in the calico
wrapper, replies solemnly: "Just a
leetle longer"
A POPULAR doctor, while escorting a
lady home the other evening, attempt
ed to relieve her cough and sore throat
by giving her troche. He told her
to allow it to dissolve gradually in her
mouth. No relief was experienced, and
the doctor felt quite chagrined the next
day when the lady sent him trousers
button, with note, saying that he
must have given her the wrong kind of
troche, and might need this one.
A NEW ENGLAND scene: Grand old
hills, pine-clad and SCARED, towering
to the clouds in their majesty; CUR
Cling brooks, winding through green
meadows; fields of corn, with the
breeze waving and rustling their ripen-
ing heaps and floating streamers;
winding around through these a
stretch of yellow road, silent in the
glare of the sun; on the road solitary
potato bug, telling laboriously east
ward.-Danbury NesCs.
A GENTLEMAN recently called on Mr..
John K. Senior, Treasurer of the Bed
ford Street Mission, Philadelphia, and
handed him an envelope containing q
contribution to the Mission. He would
not give his name, and the Treasurer,
too polite to open it in the strangers
presence, waited until he had gone.
On opening the envelope, MIR. Senior
found five 500 bills and one $500 bill,
making $1,000. Thinking there might
be some mistake, Mr.. Senior ran after
the man, and, overtaking him, said:
"Why, there's $1,000 in that envel-
ope." IAN right, sir; all right. That
is what I gave" answered the man.
Mr.. Senior again asked for his name,
that credit might be given, but received
the answer: IL b ave no desire to pa
rade my charity before the world. and
the plain-looking man quickly walked
of.
Optical Effects OF Intense Heat and
Light.
THE following facts have lately come
under my observation at the rolling
mills at this place:
While looking at the eclipse of the
sun July 29th, / handed the glass TO
one of the mill heaters" He at once