The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1878-06-28

That 1 should get a whipping for
spelling my new suit, II l could not
manage to get the tar of, was quite
certain, and had had no permission to
go from home, aud on the whole the
outlook was not cheerful in that direc-
ton. Quite driven to desperation,
seated myself on the 5round and tried
to scrape off the black spots, which had
now extended to formidable dimensions,
while could feel small streams coming
down inside of the collar of my shirt,
aud causing rather singular suggestions
of rope around my neck. Ny labor
was all in vain. / got good deal off,
but there seemed to be an inexhaustible
quantity on. I gave it up in despair,
and burst into uncomfortable sobs.
The flow of tears thinned the lava-like
fluid, and it now resembled ink,
which covered my face like a veil |;
but in the extremity of my anguish q
hope dawned upon me. 1 found that l
could wipe off with my hand this thin
ner solution, and, if water would do it,
water was plenty, and would wash it
off. A cousin of mine lived not very far
off, and 1 knew that in the yard of her
house there was pump. Inspired by
this idea, l set off at a run, and did not
slacken my pace until 1 reached the
spot. Here another difficulty met me.
could not reach the handle of the
pump 80 as to get the benefit of the
stream from its mouth, and it was only a
complete shower-bath that would restore
me to responsibility. ] set to work to
find rope, and fastened together quite
a complicated piece OF machinery, as
thought, by which [ managed to pump
the ice-cold water upon my devoted
head. The effect was not as immediate
as had hoped. But 1 had faith; if a
little was good, more must be better.
Creak-creak-crea the pump
handle, which did more work that after
noon than in half dozen days washing.
Creak creak = creak But the tar
only became harder and harder, until
was incased in sheet-armor, like the ia
nous Black Knight. Presently, my
cousin Jenny, an especial friend of mine,
hearing such continual pumping, and
becoming anxious for the family supply
of water, came out to see what was the
matter. Seeing small figure curled
up under the spout of the pump,
drenched to the skin and black as Othel-
10, she stopped down to investigate the
phenomenon. Oh, what was my despair
when she discovered who it was, and in
what plight
To say she laughed would be to give
feeble idea of the peals of laughter
that succeeded each other as she stood
and looked at me. She would try tc
control her merriment for moment
only to break forth afresh, until she was
obliged to sit down from sheer exhaus
ton. Every time she glanced at my
woe-begone countenance and drencheC
condition she would go into fresh con
vulsions of fun. At last she recovered
breath enough to inquire into my case
and to assure me she would do what she
could for me; but she soon founo, to my
despair, that what she could dc was no
much to my relief. The clothes could
not be got off, and certainly they could
never be got clean. She did manage
with strong pair of shears, to cut of
the pockets in my breeches, and then
fearing my mother would be alarmed
she babe me go home, and she would
promise to secure me against whip
ping.
fancy she thought this last pronis,
would be easily kept.
Somewhat comforted, 1 took up ny
line of march toward the paternal roof
but as / went along my heart began Il
sink again; visions of rod, with which
my not-too- sanity character had mad,
me somewhat familiar, doomed up befor,
me; but, worse than all, the thought o
my brothers ridicule made my sensitiv,
spirit quail. thought I would evad
all for that night, however, by goinf
quietly up the back stairs, going to bed
and "playing sick" Fortune favored me
I reached the bedroom without being
seen; and, just as / was, with my hat on
for it could onl y have come off with M.
scalp, got into bed, and covered mysel
entirely up with the bed-clothes. 1t wa
now dusk, and L felt for the momen
quite safe. Presently my aunt came in
to the room to get something for which
she was looking, and I could hea
her give several inquiring shifts
and as she went out / heard he
say: Z" certainly do smell tar; wher
can it come from?" An interval o
peace followed, and then in came M,
mother. "Tar? Smell tar? OF cours
you do; it's strong enough in this room
Bring a light.
1t was the sound of doom
My mother soon came close up to tn
bed, and held the light so that it fell tul
upon me as she tried to turn down tn
bed-clothing. Probably, if it had no
been for several previous scrapes i
which had been involved, she woul
/ have been much frightened but, as
was. the sight of her young blackamoo
had much the same effect upon her a
upon my cousin. Her ordinations an
4 shrieks of laughter brought every men
Der of the household successfully to tn
| room, and, as one after another came il
{ fresh zest seemed to be given to the mel
riment OF which was the unfortunat
r victim.
I But every renewal of the fun was a
q added agony to me, for clearly fore
: saw that it would be rehearsed by JAG
d and Tom to all the boys in the neigl
!. borhood. Beside this was not in
l condition to be hilarious. Plastere
1 with tar from head to foot; streamin
t with perspiration at every pJre; m
L clothes drenched; my hair matted 3,