davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1878-08-31
POETRY.
THE HOME CONCERT.

Well, Tom, my boy, must say good-by,
I've had a wonderful visit here;
Enjoyed it, too, as well as | could
Away from all that my heart holds dear.
Maybe I've been trife rough
A little awkward, your wife would say
And very likely I've missed the hint
Of your city polish day by day.
But somehow, Tom, though the same old roof
Sheltered us both when were boys,
And the same dear mother love watched us both,
Sharing our childish griefs and joys,
Yet you are almost stranger now;
Your ways and mine are as far apart
As though we never had thrown an arm
About each other with loving heart
Your city home is palace, Tom;
Your wife and children are fair to see;
You couldn't breathe in the little cot,
The little home, that belongs to me.
And am lost in your grand large house,
And dazed with the wealth on every side,
And hardly know my brother, Tom,
In the midst of so much stately pride.
Yes, the concert was grand last night,
The singing splendid; but, do you know, y
My heart kept longing, the evening through,
For another concert, sweet and low
That maybe it wouldn't please the ear
OF one so cultured and grand as you;
But to its music-augh if you will
My heart and thoughts must ever be true.
1 shut my eyes in the hall last night
(FOr the clash of the music wearied me,)
And close to my heart this vision came
The same sweet picture always see:
In the vine clad porch of cottage home,
Half in shadow and half in sun,
A mother chanting her lullaby,
Rocking to rest her little one.
And soft and sweet as the music fell
From the mothers lips, heard the coo
Of my baby girl, as with drowsy tongue
She echoed the song with "Goo-a-goo."
Together they sang, the mother and babe,
My wife and child, by the cottage door.
ALI that is the concert, brother Tom,
My ears are aching to hear once more
So now good-by. And 1 wish you well,
And many year of wealth and gain.
You were born to be rich and gay;
/ am content to be poor and plain.
And | go back to my country home
With love that absence has strengthened too
Back to the concert all my own
Mothers singing and baby's coo.
-Harpers Magazine.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1878-08-31

them on our behalf to an idol quite close
by, whose mission it is to counteract the
effect of looking down the well at wrong
time. He was avery ferce-looking per-
son, quite fitted in his general "get up"
to preside over so gloomy spot.
The streets of Benares are never
failing subject of amusement. Too mar
row to drive through in many places,
you walk, and are soon lost in perfect
labyrinth ofalleys and byways. They are
swarming with people, dogs, and sacred
COWS. The people get out of your
way; youhave to give way for the COWS,
or the COWS know the reason why.
There is rather a good story told of an
Englishman who killed one of these sa-
cred animals. There was as once a
great row among the priests. They
wanted summary vengeance on the of
fender. He had to be protected by the
police. Thereupon they applied to the
magistrates for redress. He said he was
quite ready to give it to the owner of
the COWS. The priests went off, consul
ted, came back and said the COW be-
longed to the deity. "In that case,
said the officer, "either the deity must
appear as plaintiff, or some one with
a power of attorney from his holiness. "
This ''stumped" the priests, and as they
could by no means accomplish the mir
acle the matter dropped. But the Hin
doc still believes in miracles; he sees
their accomplishment in various in
stances. Many are miracles of the priest,
such as water being drunk by certain
god when it is poured into particular
stone vessel. The water certainly does
disappear from the basin, but on in
vestigation it turns out there isa syringe
manipulated by a hidden priest, and
the god goes thirsty. These supposed
miracles have had much to do with keep
ing the Hindoos faithful to their creed,
during the various Mohammedan, Eng
lish, and French conquests. They set
Christians an uncommonly good exam
Pile of faith and fortitude under suffering.
We saw marriage feast at BenareS,
WHERE lne guests WCIClCSdlCu Will DCtCI
nut, and music and dancing by very
old nautch girl, who swayed her stout
body in front of the bridegroom, ahand
some young man, who was seated on a
platform covered with redcloth, looking
very much ashamed of himself, hanging
his head-the picture of woe. A mis-
cellaneous crowd of friends, relatives,
and the public assembled in a tent, and
presided over by man with silver
tipped staff, made up the last scene of
the marriage. Wishing the groom every
happiness, the bride too, though as
usual she was not visible, we said good-by
to Benares and turned out steps to the
east
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1878-08-31

A FASHIONABLE CALL AND ALL THEY
SAID.-How do you do, my dear? Purity
well, thank You. CThey kiss.) How
have you been this age? Putty we'll
how have you been? Very well, thank
you. Pleasant to-day. Yes, very bright
but we had a shower yesterday. Are
all your people well? Quite well, thank
you, how are yours ? Very well, I'm
obliged to you-have you seen Mary B.
lately p? No, but I've seen Susan c. You
don't say so. Is she well? Do call
again soon. Thank you-but you don't
call upon me once in an age. Oh, you
should not say that; ! am sure l am very
good. Good day. Must you go? Yes,
indeed l have seven calls to make
Good day.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1878-08-31

WHEN TO Cur Your NAILs.-The
popular superstition regarding the days
on which it is lucky or unlucky to trim
the finger nails is expressed in an old
rhyme thus:
Cut them on Monday, cut them for
wealth
Cut them on Tuesday, cut them for
health;
Cut them on Wednesday, cut them for
news;
Cut them OH Thursday, new pair of
shoes
Cut them on Friday, you'll cut them for
Woe;
Cut them on Saturday, a jonrneyyou
go;
Cut them on Sunday, you'll cut them
for evil,
For all the next week you'll be ruled
by the devil.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1878-08-31
SELECTED MATTER.
BENARES.

The Sacred City of the Hindoos-Scenes
in the City and on the Banks of
the Ganges-Cremation
of the Dead.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1878-08-31
MAKING WILLS. .

Why is it that people generally have
such strong aversion to making a will?
Every one has something to dispose
of to some particular individual, or pur-
pose, when this mortal coal shall be
shuffied off and why not attend to it
while the faculties are unimpaired and
the judgment sound?
Somebody says that it seems so much
like dying. Did you ever know any,
body die any sooner because of making
a will? How do you know but that your
rich uncle who willed you his property
twenty years ago, and is still living, hale
and hearty, might have died dozen
years ago if he had let alone making that
will !?
We believe that it is a generally un-
derstood fact that rich relations always
live to good old age after they have
willed you something at their death.
There was time when a mans will
his ''Last Will and Testament was
considered binding upon his friends
they never thought of disputing it, or
interfering with its provisions. The
purposes of the testator thus expressed
were carefully carried out, and if any,
body complained, it was done private
ly, because it was regarded as mean to
fight against the will of the dead.
Now we have changed all that.
If man who has made will dies
his heirs gather together and ascertain
its terms, and talk it over, and have
several quarrels about it, and if 1t does
not suit them (and wills seldom suit any
one but the maker) they conclude to
break it, and then the strife sets in.
The dead will maker is called every
thing but sensible man. He was sell
fish, he was bigoted, he was prejudiced;
somebody influenced him, his mind was
wrong, he had disorder of the brain, he
hadn't been himself for a good many
yearS-and so on, and so forth.
1t is wonderful to notice how very
many difficulties there were which the
poor man had to contend with. Con-
sidering how badly off he was when that
will was made, it becomes wonder to
us that he ever lived to grow up.
Each and every relative considers
himself aggrieved. If justice could be
done, he says, with severe and right
eous emphasis on justice, some folks
wouldn't be any better off than some 9TH
er folks.
And now we come to the question
if wills can be 'broken" or set aside
on the complaints of heirs or other par
ties, of what use is it to make a will If
there is no law to protect such docu-
ment, there should be no law to authorize
its production. If man has not right
to give away his own property to whom
soever he chooses, what right has he to
anything? If he wants to disinherit
anybody, has he right to do SO or
hasn't he? Whose business is it?
If we will ten dollars to A and TWEEN
ly dollars to B, has A any right to have
our will set aside on the ground of injus-
tice?
Taking the present state of things in
to consideration, we do not think any
body need to be fraid of making awill
on account of its liability to shorten life,
for, ten to one, you will live to alter it
half dozen times, and after you are
dead your heirs will alter it once more,
and divide your assets according to their
own ideas of the eternal fitness Of things.
Kate TAo1N, in ". y WeekS.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1878-08-31
HOW TO KEEP BOYS ON THE FARM

Prof. Beal of the Michigan Agricul-
tural Farm, says.
1t is natural for parents to prefer that
their children should follow the same
business or profession that they them
selves follow. This is likely to be true of
shoemakers, merchants, millers, carpen-
tiers, etc. Farmers are not exceptions
to this rule.
Farming, when well conducted, is a
good and pleasant business. If our sons
and daughters donot like it, there is al
most always some good reason for their
dislike. | have often taken an interest
in tracing out the reasons. They are
likely to dislike farming because they
are not pleased with the way in which
their parents have managed it. In some
cases the young person has a very de-
cided inclination to some other busi
ness.
If you want to make your son like his
business place him in responsible places,
trust him, consult him about the work
he is to do. Let him do part of the
thinking. Give him nearly the sole care
or responsibility of something on the
farm, the fowls, the pigs, some of the
stock, some of the crops, or the garden,
or part of it.. Suppose he does not do
everything just as you would advise
him. 1t is much better that he should
fail while he is yet young and has time
to learn under your training, than to not
try until he goes into business for him.
SELF By treating children in this way
they will take more interest in their
work, and be much more likely to sue
ceed when they start for themselves.
Do not make slaves of your children.
Too many of our most prominent farm
ers-farmers who are called the most
successful-send their children to work
every day as they would send an igno-
ramus, without any ''ifs'' or "ands, or
reasons for SO doing.
For want of proper training in this
respect, many young man has grown
up without mental discipline. He has
been able, without much help, in an in
credibly short space of time, to run
through all that his strongminded father
left him: Twenty years ago knew such
a man. His farm was called and known
as perfection for long distance around.
He had son, who is to-day living in
sight of this olcl~farm. He owns only
poor span of horses, and is living from
hand to mouth and very poor living
he gets at that The fine estate slipped
easily and rapidly from the hands of the
man who had no skill to manage it. be-
cause he had never been placed in re-
sponsible position while he was boy,
So too often one generation makes mon
ey for the next to squander. In laying
up comfortable fortunes for our children
to waste we are doing them great in
Jury, Better by far to spend more of
our time in giving them proper disci-
pline to manage we'll. Then, if they
are healthy, in most cases, they need
only little start to make them well off
in the goods of this world.
Let farming be conducted on thorough
business principles as manufacturing and
commerce are and ever have been, and
it will become more attractive, both to
bows and men.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1878-08-31

B@~At a fAneralin Ireland the clergy
man had not been informed to the sex
of the deceased, He accordingly lean
ed over to the sexton and said: "Shall
/ say brother or sister here depart
ed "It's neither, sirr," whispered
theman "shure he was only an acquant-
anCe %
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1878-08-31

B9r"At the end of the first year
comes the cotton wedding" explains
an exchange. And this is not the only
thing that comes at the end of the first
year. Sometimes poverty comes, some
times the mother-in-law and sometimes
twins.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1878-08-31

Ba~A Rutland farmer found a potato
bug on his dinner table the other day,
and thuSto the bug he CALCULATED "Good
heavens : have you got to have your po-
tatoeS cooked this year %
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1878-08-31

B@The Niagara Falls Indians COM
plain that their sales have fallen off sew
enty-fve per cent. One of the noble
red men remarks: "To the divil wild
Injun bizness, onyhow Bejabers I'm
thinkin I'll have to go back till dhrivin
a shtrate car agen," Lo! the poor in
dian i-N011zSkeQUn Herald.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1878-08-31

bad luck is simply man with his;
hands in his pockets, and pipe in his
mouth, looking on to see how it is COM
ing out. Good luck is a man of pluck.
with his sleeves rolled up, and working
to make it come out right.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1878-08-31

B@-Some men are like cats, You
may stroke the fur the right way for years
and hear nothing but purring f; but ac-
cidentally tread on the tail, and all
memory of former kindness is oblitera-
ted.-Ee.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1878-11-06


"When / travel by rail-" said an
eminent divine on the Victoria
platform, the other day, ~ select
a first class carriage In the middle
of the train. / enter the middle
compartment Of that carriage, and
take the middle seat in that COM
partment--in medic tutissimus ibis
and | leave the rest to Provi-
dence." at strikes me he leaves
precious little to Providence" said
an eminent descendant OF Mr..
Toodles, sotto voce. who happened
to be standing by.-London World.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1878-11-06
DrOll Blunders.

The stories told Of the hlunders
made by Oxford and Cambridge
undergraduates in the Scripture
examination are almost Incredible.
One of these when asked who was
the first King of Israel, was so
fortunate as TO stumble on the name
of "Saul." He saw that he had hit
the mark, and wishing to show the
examiners how intimate his knowl-
edge of the Scripture was, adhed,
confidently, "Saul, also called
Paul" Another was asked ogive
the parable of the good Samaritan.
He did so with tolerably accuracy
till he came to the place where the
Samaritan says to the inn-keeper,
"When / come again will repay
thee" Here the nnlucly eyaminee
added: "This he said, knowing
that he should see his face no
more"
Some blunders arise from mis-
Apprehension. A bishop of Oxford
sent round to the church-war-
dens in his diocese circular Of in
quiries, including question. "Does
your officiating clergyman preach
the gospel, and is his conversation
and carriage consistant Herewith y
The church-warden of Wallingford
replied: "He breaches the Gospel,
but does not keep a carriage
| A doctor who one day allowed
himself to drink too much was sent
for to see fashionable lady who
was ailing. He sat down by the
bedside, took out his watch, and
began to count her pules as well as
his obfuscated condition would
permit. He counted: "One, two,
three" Then he got confused,
and began again: zone, two,
three, fonr." No; he could not
do it. Thoroughly ashamed of
himself, he shut mp his watch, NUT
tering, "Typsy, l declare-Typsy y
Staggering to his feet, he told the
lady to keep her bed, and take
some hot lemonade to throw her
into a Precipitation, and he would
see her next day. In the morning
he received the following note from
the lady, marked "Private:'
"DEAR DoCToR,-You we're
right. / dare not deny it. But !
am thoroughly ashamed of myself,
and will he more careful In the fu-
ture. Please accept the inclosed
fee for your visit" 70 ten-pound
note,) "and do not, entreat OF yon,
breathe word about the state 10
which you found me-"
The lady. in fact, had herself
been drinking TOO much, and catch
ing the doctors mnrmurd words,
thought they referred to her, He
was too far gone to see what was
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1878-11-06

After the circus parade two
small boys met on the street. One
of them, bis face glowing with ex-
citement, said: "Oh, Jobnnyl did
you see that fellow with the snakes
around his neck 7" No word from
Johnny. "Yer seen the man in
the lions cage, uncourse 7" No
word or sign from Johnny, save
and except cloud upon his brow.
"Well, we seen the ponies with the
red blankets on, didn't yer ~
"Naw, and | didn't" said Johnny
at last, bursting into tears. 81 had
to stay at home and tend our baby,
but kin lick the stuflin' out Of
you"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1878-11-06
A Ridiculous Amusement.

The German method of manag
ing the pleasant play of philopeni
is as follows:
When q couple meet after eating
philopena together, no advantage
is taken of the other until one OF
them pronounces the word philo-
pena. This is the warning-now
the sport is to begin.
Let us suppose that gentleman
calls upon lady. She invites him
to walk in, and at the same time
speaks the talismanic word. If he
accepts the offer to walk in he is
lost, unless she removes the ban by
telling him to go away.
If she asks him to take off his
hat, he must resolutely keep it on !;
if to he seated, he must stand or
if at the table she should hand him
any article which he accepts, she
wins the forfeit.
During all this time he endeavors
to take her by surprise, for the ac-
ceptance of any offer from the
other wins the game. Both are
constantly exercising their wits to
prevent being caught, and the
sport goes on all the evening.
Perhaps the gentleman brings a
little present, and says: "Know-
ing / shall lose my philopena, ]
have brought it along-here it is"
If she is caught off her guard by
the smooth speech, she loses, for
he Immediately claims the forfeit.
If neither wins at the first meet
ing the sport is continued to the
second, and it may happen that
half dozen parties meet at the
same time, all anxious to win their
philopena partners, so that the
scene often becomes ludicrously
amusing. 1t is diamond cut dia-
monds in very truth.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1878-11-06

A thunderstorm is seldom well
coined. 1t usually drives men
away from their work, and the
crops gain little good from the
wash of the violent rain. The
gentle mist and shower, steady and
long, and the CHEEKY sunshine that
follows, these bless the fields and
fill them with waving grain. The
political and social and religious
theories which are noted as possess
ing leaders of high vitupertive pow
ers are not those which are destined
for long life. Passion is weakness.
Truth is calm. And when passion
has blown its fiercest gust, it falls
back before the quiet, steady on
set of truth which moves With God
on its side.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1878-11-06

Among other curiosities on ex-
hibition at the American depart
ment of the Paris exposition, was
a spring chicken from an Amer
lean boarding house. The chicken
was taken TO the guillotine one
morning, but when the heavy knife
fell on its neck, the fowl gave a
frightened squawk, and after one or
two tremendous pulls jerked its
head away from under the knife
and made its way back to its coop
in the exposition. The knife was
sent to the foundry for repairs
Burlington Hawkeye.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1878-11-06

Cold.-Fitz Hugh Ludlow, in
bis narrative of travel IN "The
Heart Of the Continent" tells OF
an eccentric genious who improved
on the old yarn to the effect that
"the weather would have been cold
er IL the thermometer had been
longer" by saying that he had
been where ''it was so cold that
the thermometer got down of the
nail"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1878-11-06

Swartzmeyer to his wife: "Now,
see here, mine loif, better as you
had Johnny let leetle up Won dat
candy eaten obber der first ding
you don't. know, he baf some tooth
ace in his teeth, und haf been
skwallin' around all night init der
cholera morbus in his jaw--don't
II g"-Oil City Derrick.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1878-11-06

A farmer, having buried his wife,
waited upon the grave-digger, who
had performed the necessary duties,
to pay his fees. Being of mig
gardly disposition, he endeavored
to get the knight of the spade to
ahate his charges. The patience
of the latter becoming exhausted,
he grasped his shovel impulsively,
and, with an angry look, exclaim-
ed: "Doon wi another shilling or
up she comet" The threat had
the desired effect.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1878-11-06

New wars come up in Europe
before the old ones are settled
Soldiers are scarcely allowed to sit
down for a moments peace, and
that is why they keep standing
armies.-New Orleans Picayune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1878-11-06
MABLEY, The One-Prioe C1othier,
a. &C. 12s 80 80 e. 81 Woodward Avenue, Detroit

ter" "But, John, you should buy
candles" "Aye, sir" replied John,
"bnt in that case, I'm afraid the
cost might owergang the profit"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1878-11-06

"Here it is 10 O'clock" exclaim-
ed Mrs. Mic, "and Ann Is not in yet.
She promised faithfully to return
at s." "Have you forgotten" said
her husband, "that an is an indefi-
mite article 7"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1878-11-06

A clergyman who was recently
called up to hold services in the
State prison at Sing Sing prefaced
his remarks TO tho prisoners by
saying that he was "glad to see so
large number present"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1878-11-06

Don't English lawyers wear
gowns because they are not in
favor of short suits Utica OBJ
server.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1878-11-06
CONSUMPTION CURED |

The undersigned. an old retired physician, hav-
ing been permanently cured OF the much dreaded
anxious 20 make known 10 his feilow-suhercrs
the means Of cure To all who desire II, he will
send a copy OF the prescription used, Free 81
Charge, with directions Tor preparing and using
the same. which will be found sure cum for
Consumpttou. Cstsrrh. Hronehifss-
Asthma. Nervousness. etc.. etc etc.
Address with stamp
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1878-11-06

There has been great cry that
a chalk mark will keep ants out Of
food. We have noticed the little
fellows never get in our milk
Syracuse Sunday Times.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1878-11-06

"That hoy will make his mark
in the worle some day." said pa
rent of his dullest child. So he
did. He never learned to write
Edenburg Hearld.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1878-11-06

A pretty girl down east is n
'mind-reader." She said to BASH
full beau the other night: "La |!
/ believe you are going to kiss me" I"
She was right.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1878-11-06

The paragrapher that was hang
ed said to the crowd around the
gallows: "This life is but an
hemp-tie w."-Graphic.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1878-11-06

"See here, misther," said an
Irish lad of seven summers, who
was driven up tree by dog, elf
you don't take that dog away I'll
eat up all your apples"