South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1878-07-26

ma, do they ever die Of it?"
IIt was about this time OF year
when the little boy expressed tho wish
that be was built like hen. coon, out
OF laths, SO that the breeze could blow
right through him.
VTwo Methodist ministers we're be-
ginning revival in a neighborhood be-
longing to their circuit. During sever
al evenings they were vexcd by the i'll
manners OF the audience. many of whom
walked about in the middle Of the servi-
ces. Finally one of the two brought
the trouble TO an end with the happy
criticism: We are travelling preachers,
but that is no reason why VIC should
have travelling congregation.
UNYOKE THE BULL.-Years ago
when Rock Island was small village.
and It's people had lots Of fun all to
themselves, one Of our very sober. dig
nified citizens put his own head under
one end of yoke and little bulls I'M
der the other, to teach the animal how
to be useful and work. When he
found the bull was running away
with him down dirt road towards a
crowd around the country store on Illi-
nois street, he measured sixteen feet Mt
jump, kept up with the bull and Yell
cd at the top Of his voice: Look out
Here VIC come, durn our fool souls
Head us somebody and when halted
and the yoke was being lifted from his
neck, he yelled, "Unyoke the bull new
or mind me, will stanG."-R. l. Press.
SMART GIRL.--In Burlington dry
goods house is employed young man
of diminutive stature and somewhat
feminine appearance, although tip-top
salesman and clerk. One day, little
girl was sent to the store to make some
purchases, and it fell to the lot Of this
young man to attend her. She was n
mere bunch of femininity. not able to
ak plain. She asked if lie had any
'totten flannel" He replied that he
lad and asked how much she wanted.
don't know" was the reply. "Well,
What do You want it forv' said the
clerk. Want to make papa n shirt"
We'll, how big is your papa; is he as
pig rs me?" big as you," said the
little maiden, 81 dess he is he wouldn't
be much OF papa if he wasn't"
EV"Whacs that man yelling atp,
asked an Illinois farmer OF his boy.
Why said the boy, she's yelling at
the top Of his voice.
IVA little maid of some eight or
nine summers, while eating ice cream
on veranda on Chcsnut-street, last
evening, electrified the others SINH
larly engaged by remarking: Mercy,
how it tickles my teeth
I@ Could we lind me the loan Of a
pipe and tobacky?' said Pat :; IL have a
match"
WLittlc Bob Qoq): Say, Sis, what
is n residue" why anything that re
mains, Bobby Sharp younger brother
Then your Teller must be residue
Sis, for pap says he remains entirely
too late
ES-Sunday School teachec-Who
was the strongest man! Bob-Jonah
because the whale couldn't hold him af
ter nc got him down.
civilian came running into the
house the other day and asked eagerly
Where does charity begin? AT home,
was replied, lin the words of the pro
verb replied the boy: it begins at Sc:
(C)!
g"Weli, Pat said an indulgen
master to his coachman. who had ius
been describing the glories Of ST
Patrick's Day dinner, "was your appe.
lite satcd?' Stated, is it, yer honor
an IL wasn't. IL had 10 shatand up a
long with myself most Of the time.
When two girls meet they kiss
When two young men meet, they don't
That shows who wants kissing the worst
en~Therc are times when a it'll,
child can plunge us into the depths o
despair. Such time happened recent
ly. We had company TO tea, and wa
trying my best TO amusc them. whcr
my little four-ycar-old daughter sol
emily piped out, pointing TO bald