Bristol news. [volume] (Bristol, Va. & Tenn.) 1867-189?, 1878-12-10
DRY CHIPS.

The other Cay an Illinois man went
to a Greenhack meeting died OF lone
someness.- B,TliRgtoR Hda0keye.
IT is better TO rise from your knees
and shut your hens out of your neigh
boris yard than to indulge IN long
prayers tilla0Gter Lunlbermdn.
The PhreaoLoqicdl Journal advises
young men, in choosing wife, to be
q governed by her chin The prop
abilities are all in that direction
NeaO HaUen Register.
The upstart that rose to a point Of
order, after sitting down on the ag-
gressive end Of Pin, was assured Dy
the Chair that the point was well TAX
en- RipOn Commonwealth.
A woman in Vermont was onere9
new dtess if she would walk twice
around a grave yard at midnight,
end the wav she walked it an won Ii
made her husbands hair stand up
strsighter than if he had seen dozen
spooks.
The eighth wonder of the world Is
that fellow will chew dog-leg pref
1aIa three weeks old with great gusto
in beer saloon, but VIII go nome
and kick the table over and spit soap
snds for half an hour if the sponge
cake happens to be little dry on one
side.
The religious newspapers of Eng
land are discussing the momentous
question, Ought clergymen to wear
nnustacbes. 4" A contemporary thinks
that. as cold weather comes on, they
should. and Oh days of extreme sever
itv they might add a pair of trousers
and thick vest.
A full bearded Grandfather recently
had his beard shaved off, showing a
clean face for the first time in num-
her of wears. At the dinner table his
three year old granddaughter noticed
II gaZed long with wondering eye,
and finally calculated, Grandfather,
whose head you got on ?'
There is only one dry goods clerk
in Boston who don't part his hair in
the middle. But he makes up for II
by wearing a red neck-tie and calling
parents 'pa" and ina"
"What is happiness?" asks Goethe
Happiness is three O'Clock SUNDAY
night. old man in bed, your girl sit
ting in your Tsp, and big hunk o
mince pie in your off hand. Oh
yum yum!
Turkey tine has come. And i
makes a fellows heart glow with ad
miration to watch the way in which
an experienced clearinghouse mis-
tress makes turkey about as big a
a good sized wart do for twenty-five
Heaven bless the Chicago girls
One of them came to New York late
Nv and found congregation of ne.
groes who were worshiping in tn
open air, as they had no church. Sh
gave them one of her cast>oE shoes
They bricked it around, and put
steeple on the heel, and now the
have an excellent church, and ar
trying to get mortgage on it.
Master Giffie Eager. Of Darien, me
q beautiful black and white cat in tn
woods. He started to take it home
Gifie didn't know whether it was
waterproof or a rain-cloud that hit hin
but after being kept in the cellar fC
a year or so, he hopes to get a lit
of the fragrance off of him. Th
sort of cat he got is spelt k k.
London World Here is a stor
they are telling with great gusto
the studios. Whether it is true or M
I do not know, but at any rate it
studied from the life MI, FIRTH ha
a little girl for model the other da,
and, wishing to give her an INTEL
gent expression F., he entered into col
versation thus: Have you been 81
ting 10 any one lately ?' " Yes, sir.
Mr.. Cope" Any one else ," " NJ
Horsely' "Ah, Horsely-any OF
else?" 81 sat to Mr.. Whistler yeste
day. "What did he say % " +
asked me if had been sitting to al
lately, and told him Mr.. Cope
"What did he say to that?"
asked me who else, and I said NJ
Horselv." What did he say then
al He asked me who else, and said
had been sitting to you, sir" W.
and what did he say then ?''
said What a damned crew."