Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1878-12-25
Humorous.

throat, Puck.
MANY n man is resolving that on New
| Years lav he ill-a-es-chew tobac-
co.-Ne,o York Mail.
A true woman loveth tlowers-the
kind the new fall bonnets are trimmed
| with.-Rome Sentinel
When two girls meet they kiss. When
two young men meet they don't. That
shows who wants kissing the worst.
Nice little girl-"Oh, do let me see
you drink" Captain Grogson-"W Why,
my DEAR" Nice little girl" Because
ma says you drink like fish"
Society is divided into two great clas-
| ses, those who have more dinners than
appetites, and those who nave more APP
petites than dinners.
Weary person on evening visit: cav,
IN lust out of n sick bed" Terrible
boy, Say, Mr.. johnson, what ails yer
! bed?'
"Weight for the wagon observed
the farmer rs he helped his 30o-pound
wife to "A seat in the vehicle,-AIbong
argus.
We trust the undermost man in the
fight will not forget that the proverb
says the anvil lasts longer than the
hammer.-O city Derrick.
When ship-load of seal skins and
bears hides reaches San Francisco from
Alaska there is a fur-n port in the
United States.-NelU York Maj.
"Johnny what does your mother keep
Ia, |, ~
unexpected reply. The question for
that session came to an abrupt end.
Say, mi,sus, won't you come and
teach us. We're going to bounce our
teacher, he's too slow" Thus did some
Brooklyn Sunday -school scholars re-
quest lady to take charge of them
Sunday School Visitor.
"Georgy do you know that your
Uncle James found II little boy on his
door step last night, and that he is go
ing to adopt him?" Eyes, mamma,
and he'll be Uncle Jim's step-son, won't
he?"
The fear that is slowly but surely
driving Philadelphia insane is that the
angel Gabriel will sound the last trump
before the public buildings are com
pleted Phiiaddphia Chronicle Herald.
Just imagine the feelings of the man
who, the first day out, comes face to
face, on the deck of a European steam
er, with the creditor whom he has sue
cessfully lodged. for the past nine
months. -Puck.
To preserve a good joke-Put it in an
almanac, or rent it out by the year to
the circus clowns and negro MINISTRIES. !
In this way specimens have been kept
for fifteen or twenty ears.-Nelp ORLEANS
Picdy1me.
Fencing has almost ceased to be an
accomplishment among our young
men, Cincinnati Saturday NigN 1t
has not entirely died out. We caught
a young man practising it about l.
o'clock last night Her father had |
locked the gate.-P11ck.
The season for getting drowned while !
skating opened IN Canada a few days |
ago, and every little Philadelphia boy |
owning pair of skates should at once |
send his name. written in clear bold |
hand to this office. We MORALLY nate |
to spell the name of drowned boy in
rrectly.-Phladephia Chronicle Herald. |
THE MlLKMAID AND HER LOVER.
IF thoul't be mine he fondly cried
The priest shall join Ne now;
Those little hands were never made
To milk Il hlCklng COW.
Nay nay, the dairy beatty said:
As down she set her pan,
I'D rather milk a kicking COW,
Than wed hirtng man.
Only six months ago, when John Still |
sob, of South Hill, married Nora John /
son he called her his darling Nora"
And now, when he gets up in the night |
10 fasten spring close-peg over her vocal
nose he uses the same tender express
sion, but he leaves out the darling
II want, and will have, a wife without |
falling" was the remark ola young man
who had three seasons Of experience Of
life. His sister with only country |
girls philosophy, remarked: "Then !
you'll never marry, shell be sure to !
wants husband of the same character "
To find out how many flakes of snow |
fail upon country town-pump, take an |
elephant, (aged so years and & days, |
then count the number Of hairs on his |
tail, divide that by a cabbage, and the !
quotient will be the correct answer.
The good woman who tied bunch of !
variegated ribbon to the caudal of her
poodle, remarked that it was the duty |
of every one to do something toward |
making the world brighter and better
She might not be able to point moral |
as well as the minister, but she could .
discount him at adjoining IL tail Wash
ingtaa Posi-.