Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1878-01-10
DFeseing the BABY.

DresrinE the BABY.
When a woman goes to work to dress a
two-year old baby she does it in a system.
attic, business like manner, and without
any noise or fuss; and before you know it
the youngster is slid out of her hands. with
his face washed and hair combed, and Sic
chrome under his arm. This all comes
from knowing how. With man it is diff
ferent. He makes elaborate preparations
and puts on the air Of man who is get.
ting an eighty-four gun ship ready for a
two years cruise. lie collects the young
ster's duds together in heap. gathering
them up from pretty much all over the
house, and after great deal of bawling for
this, and short, swapping inquiries for that,
and an unlimited amount Of getting down
on his knees and looking around under the
furniture for tile other (all of which comes
from his having undresscd the child the
night before), he at length sits resignedly
down in chair and. with feeble attempt
ut good nature. says:
'Come, Freddie, como to papa and have
your cOses on
The child, who is just then travelling
around in his night dress, and playing with
damp towel and a stove wrench. makes a
bee line for the door. full of desire to cs-
cape into the next room.
''Come, Freddie, come to papa. like n
good boy" says the father, with a brave
effort at patience.
The child keeps on his course.
Erred"
This sounds so much like business that
the youngster stops. turns. and tacking
slowly up to the now stern-browed parent.
gradually gets within reach, when a sud-
den grab Of his arm brings him into posi-
ton where the damp towel slaps around
on the fathers clean shirt front, and the
stove wrench plumps solidly down upon
the very top Of his boot.
''Immortal Julius." lie screams in ago
ny. nursing his foot with one hand, and
shaking the poor innocent with the other :
whcreupon the innocent sets up an accom-
panying yell.
A voice from below, where the wife and
mother is busy getting breakfast, joins in
the chorus:
''Olmstcad Molleson, what on earth are
you doing with that child?''
''Oh. you be d-I!'' goes back the
quick reply, in a short, ugly, desperate
growl, that silences all further inquiry.
Then the father, after rubbing his foot
and groaning awhile, squares the child
around, and begins the process of dressing
him, which is mostly made up Of dreadful
struggles between clumsy fingers and
smooth porcelain buttons, Il general mis-
placing of garments, hindside before and
upside down, searches after the missing
articles, and talk like the following:
Turn around!n
'.Stand still.'
''Hold your arm up
Thunder and lightning! can't you let
things be?''
''Stop reaching"
''Hold your head up.''
up, say!''
IAN you keep Stlll
where's that other skirt:''
''Shut up"
''Let gor'
''Blast that button.''
Now, where in blazes is that pin?''
.''Stand up"
''There, by thunder.''
"Why don't you fall down, and be done
with it 80
''Stop that howling"'
''Stop.''
''Let that be-
''Beaave.''
''Great scat.'
Say, why don't you have four or five
thousand more buttons On your clothes -
Now, where's that stocking?"
''Keep your foot still ~ 81
''Say, -your-tOot-still! l!''
''Dry up!''
by jove in Jerusalem?'
''Gimme the other foot..''
NO, the other"
Cant you see?'
''Sanctifed Solomon. what do YOU want
o spread your toes all out tor? How do
'Ou suppose I'm going to put your stock
ng on with your feet in that shape?"
stop ~
''Stop, Isay.
PROV, WOW! e--e-u. Who stuck that
lin in that way:''
~ Oh, of course says cold, thin. cut
ing voice; and he glances up and sees his
rife looking down on him in tatlntinp.
sort of way. I'D be asham-
d of myself" she continued. ''and get so
at Of patience with little b't of baby.
'ou've been making noise enough to wake
he dead, and his clothes look as if they'd
cen thrown on him with u pitchfork.
imme himr'
And he gets up sheepishly and snllenly,
nd after slamning the doors and stamp
lg around the house after the linament
ottle, and making as big noise as he can,
c works himself up into such a state of
leanness and modification, that, to spite
imself. he goes Off down town without
is Observation-Disclosures World.
~>~----
Open Confession.
An old attorney said little before his
eath that he had been reckoned very |
reat rascal, and believed he was so, for he
I'd done many rOglish and Infamous
lings in his profession; ''but," added ne.
ly what can observe of the risiny gen I
alton, the time may come, and you NAV ,
re to see it, when l shall be accounted :
ry honest man il comparison with those {
torneys who are to succeed me-" II
"a reporter being calle;l to account for s
atement that a certain meeting .'was S
rye and respectable" when only one t