The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1878-02-23
PASSING SMILES.

r.
- t-' "
THE difference between pig and 4
porcupine is that one uses pen and the
other a quill. est u ..
SURMIsE is the squirt of suspicion
the gossamer that malice blows on fair
regulations. & f8 of
Coon partners at cards-A chimney
sweep and a bugler. One can follow SCOT,
and the other can trumpet.
If a girl wants to fetch her beau, let
her give him pinch OF snuff. That will
bring him to his sneeze at once. H
THE good little boy receives the Sum
day-school ticket and the castor-oil, and
dies young, while the bad boy cheeks
theater checks and sucks cider from the
bung-hole through a straw, and event.
ually becomes a member of the legis-.
lature.
TOBACCO was discovered three hun
dred years ago, Tut there lives no boy of
the present day who, while suffering
from the glory of his first chew, who
does not wish its discovery had been
postponed that many centuries in the
future. H nE W. 3
SIDNEY SMITH: The essence of every
species of wit is surprise, which, vi ter
mini, must be sud-, n; and the sensa-
tions which wit has tendency to excite
are impaired or destroyed as often as
they are mingled with much thought or
passion. tIsf,Iz
ALWAYS WITH yoU.
Say not welcome when come, -
Nor farewell tell me when 60,
For como not whom come, ~ s -....=
And go not when Igo.
lam always ever with you, e ili1i
Always will be, 80 pray,
would never welcome give you, - sat
And farewell would never say.
From the S'cedtsh.
A PRETTY and stylish young lady,
called in Fourth street store the other
day and requested to see some lavender
kids. She was shown variety Of
shades; but unable to choose from 30
many different shades of the color, she
asked (Which of those pairs are tho
lavenderestf" 2 s.a'7i.al H9tllF
AN important person has lately died
at Siam in the shape of one of the
Kings white elephants, and according
to custom it was buried with the highest
funeral honors. One hundred Buddhist
priests officiated at the ceremony, and
the body was conveyed to its last resting
place by procession of thirty State
barges. air6 y'fr,Bs SIS
"THERE's no place like comb" as the
bee said When storing up his honey. "Pll
come to thee when daylight SETS" as the
Chinaman observed to the hen-roost.
Measure for measure" as the topers
said when they drank fair. ~ do not
ask thee for thy hand" as the child
said when gazing earthward DER it's
parents knee.
"DoEs this. razor go easy?' asked
barber of q victim who was writhing
under clumsy instrument, whose chief
recommendation was a strong handle.
"Well," replied the poor fellow, that
depends upon what you call the opera
ton. If you are skinning me, it goes
tolerably easy, but If you're shaving, it
goes rather hard" tA IisAaf
SOME one remarks: at is not what
people eat, but what they digest, that
makes them strong. It is not what they
gain, but what they save, that makes
them rich. 1t Is not what they read,
but what they remember, that makes
them learned. 1t is not what they pro-
fess, but what they practice, that makes
them righteous." Ed I'D gskT
ONE of the uses of the "sweet, low
voice in women" is to sound well in
poetry. To get sleepy boy up these
mornings, however, to bring in the coal,
it isn't worl h speaking of. He generally
needs a vocal admonition closely related
to locomotive shrek, and that sounds,
as it rushes up the stairs, like the whirr
of dozen cat-'o-nine-tails. 49,
spINsrERs should to the Needles Co.
wine-bibb ,n e Burgundy s .na .,,s r.,..
Ways at the bay Of Funday. 5yEiJ
Es6SSSscsz &c the United States,
Maids to the ISL Of Man. 70 t34 .sJ
Let Gardeners 20 to Botany Bay, s.gs
And shoeblacks to Japan. @t
Thus emigrate and misplaced men iHas
wiil then no Longer , r, vsa u, to ag
Had better go TO Texas. ~ rssf ns
The voice of the starlit cat never
sounds to better advantage than in
frosty, clear and silent winter nights.
Sometimes it is difficult to distinguish
a prolonged note on the upper register
from the closing note Of trumpet solo.
The cat lasts longer and has trife more
power, and will stop quicker for brick
than the trumpet will, that is all the
difference. 8.3 ve 5aa84H "
A FIFEsBIRE man took his child to
the minister to be baptized, who asked
him, care you prepared for SO solemn
and important an occasion p Pre-
pared p he echoed, with some indigna-
ton az hae firlot % hammock baking,
two hams, an gallon O. the best High
land whisky, and ] wad like to ken what
better preparations ye expeck frae man
In NV Condition a. life W