davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28
A WOnnanss Logic.

#" 1t is useless to take medicine. l shall
feel better tomorrow. Besides, 1 need the
money to get that lovely new hat. My old
one is such fright, and people will look
more at my bonnet than they will at my
face. l will wait till I feel worse before |
bonnet is purchased and ffty other femi.
nine accessories in the form of ribbons, laces,
brooches. etc. Meanwhile the ladys face
becomes every day paler and thinner, and
her body weaker, until disease has gained
so firm foothold in her system that the
most thorough, and ofttimes a long and te-
dious course of treatment, is necessary to
restore her to health. Ladies attend to
your health before you even think of ap-
parel.- A fresh, blooming face in a plain
bonnet is much handsomer and far more
attractive to your gentlemen friends, than a
pain-worn, diseased face in the most elab-
crate and elegant hat your milliner could
devise. DR.. Pierce's Favorite prescription
is everywhere acknowledged to be the
STANDARD remedy for female complaints and
weaknesses. 1t is sold by druggists.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28
LIKE A LAvEROCK IN THE LIFT.
by JEAN ISGELow.

It's we two, is we two, it's we two for aye,
All the world aud we two, and Heaven be our
stay.
Like n laverock in tho lift, sing, o boDny bridel
An the world was Adams once, with Eve by his
side.
WHATS the world, my lass, roV love-what can
II do3
! am thine, and thou art mine; life is sweet and
II the world have miss'd the mark, let il stand by,
For We two have gotten leave, end once more well
try.
Like laveroct 10 the lift, sing, o bonny bTidel
Ips We two, it's we two, happy side by side.
Take kiss from me, thy man; now the soDe
begins,
All is made siresh for "a, and the brave heart
Wis.
when the darker days come, and no sun viii
shine
Thou shalt dry my tears, lass, and I'll cry thine.
IT'S We two, it's we two. while the worlds away,
sitting by the golden sheaves on our wedding day
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28
Heading off a Lawyer.

ASAuAh6g VIA "a A4n"yVAs
Rufus Choate, in an important marine
assault-and-battery-at-sea case, had Dick
Barton, Chief mate of the clipper ship
Challenge, on the stand, and badgered
him SO for about an hour, that at last
Dick got his salt water UP, and hauled
by the wind to bring the keen Boston
lawyer under his batteries.
At the beginning of his testimony
Dick had said that the night was clark
as the devil, and raining like seven
bells"
Suddenly Mr.. Choate asked him:
! a"" Was there a moon that night?'
&c Yes, sir" -a' i'..
"Ah, yes! 4 moon" ''
" Yes, a full moon.'
Did you see itF -s5 sos ~
Not mite"
Then how do you know there was a
moon 2s -ze AZ. 49, ssa4,zssss pza. Tyi5'g
"Nautical almanac said so, and I,H
believe that sooner'n any lawyer in this
world"
What was the principal luminary
that night, sirP' H-i
Binnacle lamp on board the Chal-
lenge." 80
4fh.,yo'e: arg gto"ihS shaIP,A MI.
"What in blazes have you been
grinding me this hour for-to make me
dull ?' .s f7..- 81 ..rIls ,LL
"Be civil, sir. And now tell me
what latitude and longitude you crossed
the equator in. -
"Sho, you're joking" .
No, sir! I am in earnest, and de-
sire you to answer me-"
" I shan't." .st.
"Ah-you refuse to answer, do your"
Yes-I can't" ..o
Indeed You are chief mate of a
clipper ship! and unable to answer so
simple question" .
Yes, tbs the simplest question l
ever was asked in my life. Why
thought every fool of lawyer knew
there amt no latitude on the equator" "
That shot f1oored Rufus Choate.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28
9LEANLNGS FROM TIE MUSE.
AFTER DARK.
BY WILL WALLACE HARVEY.


when tvi izht gathers in her sheaves,
And wheeling swallows skim the hume,
Tho pl1vmtu, turning hOmewa leaves
His ploW mid-iurrow in the broom,
And through the ms l1ncholy ewes
The or1-ge drops ITS milk-uhite bloom.
The Old del zhts that 20 and come
1hJOIgh sJrrpw, in the falling dew,
LIZ. waves that wore a wreath Of foam
Tho darker that the waters grew,
Flow round my solitary home
~ evening, when the stars are few.
60. snd and sweet as bridal tears
For broken homes, to zee withdraw
The child we love, have gone the years
We climbed the frosty hills, and saw
Descend nn all the frosty meres
The sunlight breaking through the thaw.
Like one who in the driving snow,
When ell the untrodden paths are dim,
Hears far-of voices, faint and low,
Across the woodland calling him,
! hear the loved Of long ago
Singing among the seraphim.
And AZ the soft, assembling light
Falls, shadowing into dusky red,
I think how beautiful the night
With gathering stars is overspread,
Like seeds Of many an Old delight
Through sheaves Of sorrow harvested.
-HdJper'S Magazine.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28
A Husband Market.

A strong minded woman married "a
man not noted for activity of body or
energy of character, and before the
honeymoon was over, awakening one
morning, he found his spouse in tears.
my love-" he said, what is the
matter"
"Oh, Pve had such a dreadful
dreamw ~ y .Iasih
"Why, what was it?"
81 thought l was going up Fourth
avenue, when saw a sign, Husbands
for Sale So many women were rush
ing that followed, and just then they
were selling splendid specimen for
$780,"
But did they all bring as much as
that|"
ooh, mol They went at 81 900, $500,
and so on down." III
Well, did you see any that looked
like me % '-=-..-.~--.-.-...---.-
Yes, indeed. But they were tied up
in punches like asparagus, and sold for
ten cents bunch" z.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28

DIR. r. V. PIERCE, of Buffalo, N. Y, the
proprietor of DIR. Pierce's Family Medicines,
and also of the Invalids' and Tourists Hotel,
of that city, has recently been elected to Con-
gress by the very fiattering majority of
nearly 5000. He has already served his con-
stituency as State Senator, and this renewed
Endorsement signifies that his services have
been. highly satisfactory. His extensive
practice in the treatment of Chronic Dis
eases will not, we are informed, be neglected
or suffer in the least when the time arrives
for him to take his seat in Congress, it be-
ing intrusted to his brother and other ex-
perienced medical gentlemen who have long
been associated with the Doctor in the
Medical Department of his celebrated
Worlds Dispensary and Invalids' Hotel.
Besides, as the Forty-sixth Congress does
not convene until December, 1879, DIR.
Pierce's patients will not lose his personal
attention for some months yet.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28
American Pictures at the Exposition.

lScribner for December.l
The American pictures are too we'll
known to need further particular de-
scriptiou. The impression on entering
the gallery is very good. The general
tone of coloris rich, subdued, and much
more pleasing than in many of the other
rooms, and the pictures on the line will
bear favorable comparison, in general
excellence, with any line in the Exposi-
ton, although, of course, there are many
works in the other galleries much finer
than anything that we have. Our col
lection is certainly superior to those of
several countries, and equal to some
others, and, whatever may have been
said to the contrary, shows good deal
of independence and originality, and
perhaps more variety than any other,
and altogether much first-rate work. In
one branch of art,-that of wood en-
craving, although the number of ex-
amples shown by America is small. in
quality we equal, if we do not excel,
most Others It has been pronounced,
by some Of the best artists and engrav-
ers here, to lie among the best work of
! the kind in the Exposition. AS a whole,
our gallery, viewed by any standard, is
very good, and no one, on seeing it, need
be otherwise than hopeful as to the fu-
ture of American art.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28
The Legion of Honor.

The order of the Legion of Honor,
conferred on several prominent Ameri-
cans at the Paris Exhibition, was in
stituted by Napoleon Bonaparte, in
1902, as set-off to the old orders which
were bestowed by the French kings on
the nobility, and may be said to have,
for a time at least, created a new no.
bility. Conferred at first only on SOL
diers who had distinguished themselves
on the field of battle, or on men who
mad gained distinction in literature, art,
or politics, it soon began to be abused,
and was made a powerful engine of
political corruption. On this account
it to some extent lost its character, and
became the butt for ridicule on the part
of men of spirit and independence of all
shades of political opinion.
The Legion of Honor at present con-
tains about one hundred Thousand mem
bers, the majority of whom are cheva-
liers or knights. Next in order of
numbers come the officers, then the
commanders, then the grand officers,
and lastly the grand crosses. In the
case of soldiers and sailors, the red rib
bon confers pension varying between
fifty dollars for knights and one thous-
and dollars for grand crosses, but civil
ians get nothing but the right to wear
the insignia, for which they are bound
| to pay fees.
The knights insignia are red ribbon
at the buttonhole when he is in civil
ian's clothes and silver-mounted cross
when he is in uniform; the officer wears
| a rOsette when in multi and gold
mounted cross when in uniform, and it
should be added that the officers rosette
| is worn by members Of all the superior
| grades when 10 morning dress. In even
| ing dress or uniform, however, the COM
manders wear red collar with a cross
pendent; the grand officers sport col
| lar with a star on the left breast To
officers of the army and navy the cross is
generally given as a matter Of right
after twenty years of good conduct,
and so it is to certain members of the
civil service, such as consuls, sub pre-
fects, public prosecutors, etc. The pri-
| yate soldier who gets it must have de
served 1t many times over, and the
dozen ladies who have it are heroines
| indeed.
| Artists, authors, inventors and men
of genius generally, may be decorated
on the recommendation of one or the
other of the cabinet ministers, who make
out a list twice or thrice year, and are
generally happy enough to have the
honor of recommending Celebrities. .
No one can wear the decoration who has
been in trouble with the law courts, and
whose antecedents are .not.aconvention,
ally at least, irreproachable $50 that in
some sense the ribbon may be accepted
as a certificate of honesty as we'll a;
Derif
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28

The most wonderful discovery yet known,
Mrs. DR.. L. K. Shaw's Moth and Freckle
Lotion. May be had of your druggist. Price
only $1.00. For particulars, address Mrs. Dr.
L. K. Shaw, 14O East 2sth.street, New York
Mrs. Shaw's Liver Pill. Best in the world.
"a SLIGHT CoLD," CoUGHs.-Few are
aware of the Importance of checking a
cough or " SLIGHT COLD" which would
yield to a mild remedy, if neglected, often
attacks the lungs. "Brown's Bronchial
Troches" give sure and almost immediate
relief.
For upwards of thirty years Mrs. WIN
SLOWS SOOTHING SYRUP has been used for
children with never-failing success. 1t cor
rects acidity of the stomach, relieves wind
collie, regulates the bowels, cures dysentery
and diarrhea, whether arising from teething
or other causes. An old and well-tried
remedy. 25 cts. q bottle.
MORE than 10000 Cabinet or Parlor Or
gans are now sold in the United States
yearly. The best are those made by Mason
& Hamlin, who have taken highest honors
at all worlds expositions for twelve years,
and are the only American makers who have
taken such at any.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28

A GOOD deal depends upon the way Of
doing thing. Nothing is pleasanter
than to see wife cut delicious
pumpkin pie with her own fair hands,
and lovingly deposit the biggest chunk
on her husbands plate; but it's very
disagreeable for the same woman to slap
the whole pan of it over him because he
simply remarks he wished he know
somebody that could shorten crust like
his mother used to do. ......,
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28

The question is, who wrote "The Little
Belle of Bloomingdale," the realistic story
of New York Revolutionary life now lun-
ming in the CHRISTIAN UNION, of New
York. We are told it is by one of the most
have six months to guess it in.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28

JoHNsoN's Anodyne Liniment is one Of
the few really valuable patent medicines
which we always take pleasure in calling
attention to. 1t is both for internal and ex-
ternal use, and it is worth more to a family
than a whole medicine chest.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28

AL. LTTERATIvE has connected him
self with the Wheeling Sunday Leader,
and captions his racy " Localettes" as
Laconic lines laden with lambent land
marks-legitimate levity, lively literary
lather and lucid local lush" All thou
labial luhber!
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28

THOUGH they may obstinately resist the
action of other external remedies, ulcers
containing proud flesh, swelling, tumors,
speedily heal under the purifying and
soothing influence of HENRY's CARBoLIC
SALvE, the promptest and most efficient
topical application ever discovered or used.
1t is believed that there is no chronic sore
or eruption that may not be eradicated by
this incompatible purifier. Sold by all
druggists.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28

IMPURE blood is the cause of more misery
than any other source of disease. but this
fact is often overlooked. Parsons Purga.
tiUe Pills will make new rich blood and will
change the blood in the entire system in
three months, taken one a night.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28

The loud tones in which some people
appeal to reason implies that reason is a
great distance from them.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28

IMPORTANT NOTICE.-Farme,s =. Famf-
lies and others can purchase Remedy equal to DR..
TOBIAS VENETIAN LINIMENT for the cure of
Cholera, DiarrhGa, Dysentery, Group, Collie and
Seasickness, taken internaly-Ct is perfectly harm
less; oath accompanying each hottc) and exter-
nally for Chronic Rheumatism, Headache, Toothache,
Sore Throat. Cuts Burns. Swellings, Bruises, Mos
quito Bites, Old Sores, Pains in Limbs, Back and
Chest. The VENETIAN IMMINENT was intro
tnues to do 10, many stating, IL it Ten Dollars
Bottle they would not be without it, Thousands OF
Certificates can be seen at the Depot speaking of its
wonderful curative properties. Sold by the Drug
eists at % cents. Depot a. Murray St., New York.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28

To cleanse and whiten the teeth, to sweet
en- the breath, use Browns Camphorated
Saponaceous Dentifrice. 25 cents bottle.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28
Sedatives and StimuIants VS.. Tonics.

AlcohOl-Cheers inebriates, leaving depression.
Fellows Hypophosphites gives yivacity and buoy
ancy, leaving energy,
0rium-Soothes. narcotics. and depresses.
Fellows 'Hypophosphites stimulates, animates and
invigorate5.
Orium-Renders the nerves insensble to pain but
lowers nervous vitality.
Fellows Observation-Disclosures man to be regard
less of pain by raising nervous vitality.
Opium pulls down. Fellows Hypophosphites builds
up.
Opium poisons. Fellows Hypophos. is the antidote.
Alcohol posons. Fellows Hypophos. is the antdote.
Tobacco poisons. Fellows Hypophos. is the antidote.
Debility and disease from any cause is poison. Fell
lows Hypophosphites is ever the antidote.
1t has already accomplished more good than all
other remedies combined. i t never fails when used
directed 1t the sick, sustains the dropping,
and preserves the healthy.
Ever mending, never marring.
FELLOWS HYPOPH0SPHITES
Is used successfully in diseases of the Blood Nerves,
Muscles, Bones, in the functions of digestion,
triton, thinking, understanding, hearing, seeing,
feeling, tasting and smelling, and even speaking,
wherever there is no organic loss.
For particulars see Fellows Medical Monthly v
at all Druggists. J. n. HARRIS Il CO., Western
Agents, Cincinnati. q.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28
FRANK LESElE'S
SUNDAY MAGAZINE
CONDUCTED BY
CHARLES FORCE DEEMS, D. D.,
Pastor of the Church of the Srrancers

The SUNDAY MAGAZINE aims to supply pure and
healthy reading, not only for Sunday but for every
day of the week. It contains more reading matter
similar periodical published in Europe America :;
nd effort expense will be spared by the Editor
and Publisher to render it worthy of the cordial ap-
probation and generous support which il has re-
ceived.
The Number for January, which will be issued early
in December, commences the Fifth Semi Annual
Volume of the SUNDAY MAGAZINE. This presents a
favorable opportunity for the commencement of new
Subscriptions; and the Publisher especially desires
that former Subscribers will renew their Subscrip-
tions promptly, so that he may be enabled to have
the names duly registered.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28
MASON & HAMLIN CABINET ORGANS,

Demonstrated best by HIGHEST HON0RS At ALL
WORLDS EXPO-ITIONS FOR TWELVE YEARS :
viz: at PARIS, 1867; VIENNA, 1885, SANTIAGO, loIJ;
FHILADELPHIA, 1876; PARIS, 1875: aud GRAND SwED-
/ SH GOLD MEDAL 1873. Only American Organs ever
= yvaried highest honors atan such. Sold for cash
instalIments. Illustrated Catalogues and circulars
with ne STYLES and prices sent free. Mason HAM
IN ORGAN Co. Boston. NEW YORK, or CHICAGO-
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28

Hon. c. r. PARSONS, mayor of Rochester, was
radically cured of Brghts Disease by Craig's Kid
nsy Cure. Depot AZ University Pl., N. Y.
CHEW Jackson's Best Sweet Navy Tobacco
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28
Ihe Anfss0te 40 AIconGf 4 EOuho IA A1asts
THE FATHER MATHEW REMEDY
CHEAP And GOOD!

Homes for all nearE Il towns aad stations (sI .25
per acre) Country desirable in every way frodncts
yar,ed Freights to hest n,a,ks1s TsTy lSwi
BARGE. All who wish farm of their own sn9 ana
esre TO better teir condition, should send thelr lu
address for mans views and full informa ton Is, Il.
SMITH & co. 1852 LasaIIe Street, CHICAGO, ILL.,
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-11-28

tho tc cf capacity for only sea s,endid ssiot s
Alo0; ~ 10 and stS0 Elegant pip
toned nstrunents than Ssn hS SeGgh Of any other hoas
4 t,umenis shpp<i ON TO DAYS test trial sienc
rNe hYcr Warranted MorN ttStnCs
la ordering, state where say thIz adv crti~eTaert
m 10 gost 81 Pianos and orlnns fTee; Beware of lrre
EATTY, Washington, New ersey, U, Q. 4.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-08-29
Analysis of a Tornado.

Professor Brewer, who interests him
self in phenomena, has spent number
of days at Wallingford studying the
features of the tornado, and will go
there again to-day to make a more par
ticular examination of them. Yester-
day he was found at his home by Pal
ladium reporter, who asked him for
some information of scientific char
acter concerning the disaster The
professor very willingly gave this sub
stantially as follows:
"No one can tell what makes a
tornado. There are many theories
concerning the cause. know of five
hundred persons, each of whom has q
different theory. Lightning is always a
leading part in the disturbance. In some
tornadoes the exhibition of electricity is
grand. There is no particular hour at
which they are formed, but they usually
take place in the afternoon, for it is then
that hot day becomes most sultry. In
the northern ATTITUDES the rotary mo-
ton is always from the right to the left.
The column is funnel-shaped, the small
part being on the earth. 1t sways from
side to side frequently and sometimes
bounds like ball. The movement is
either to the east, southeast or northeast.
1t is agreed that this tornado had all the
characteristics of other tornadOes.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-08-29

Those who suffer from disorder or inaction OF
the liver will never get the upper hand of the un
ruly organ so long as they use such irrational
remedies as blue pill, calomel and podophyllin
But from the tried and popular medicine Hostel
ter's Stomach Bitters, they may expect relief
with a certainty of obtaining it. The influence
Of the bitters upon the great hillary gland is d.
rect, powerful and speedily felt. The relief af-
forded is not spasmodfc, but complete and per-
manent. The sallowness of the skin, furred ap-
pearance of the tongue. indigestion, costiveness,
headache. nausea, pains through the right side
and shoulder, in fact every accompaniment of the
obstinate complaint are entirely and promptly re-
moved by a course of this inestimable medicine,
in behalf of which testimony is constantly ema-
mating from every quarter and from all classes of
society.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-08-29
4 New Cure for Paralysis.
New York Mail.

Mr.. Henry Martin; residing at S74
Fulton street, Brooklyn, stepped into the
Aquarium yesterday afternoon to view
the wonders of that institution, and
among other curiOsities was shown the
electric eels from South America, which,
he was informed, contained a quantity
of electric fluid. and that shock from
any of them would be sufficient to
knock man down. He listened with
much attention and said that he should
very much like to receive Il shock.
Now Mr.. Martin had long been suffering
with paralysis, AMI had lost the use of
nearly both legs, had tried several rene
dies, without, however, doing him much
good, and thought that an electric shock,
administered in all its native purity,
must be beneficial, so he resolved
to try the experiment. A copper wire
was produced, upon one end of which
was a sponge; the other end was handed
to Mr.. Martin, who thereupon thrust
the sponge end into the tank so that
it touched the eel. At first the crea-
ture paid no attention to it, but suddenly
it did notice it, and as suddenly Mr..
NAL Ill was oC1II 1IOhI INC Chdu upon
which he stood into a recumbent po-
sition on the floor Several persons
rushed to his assistance and set him up
on his feet, placing his crutches in his
hands. As soon as the gentleman re-
covered his breath he said as he hobbled
away: "Well that is only the third time
[ ever lost control of myself. Once be-
fore when | was stricken with paralysis,
and once when was out with the boys"
When asked by Mr.. Butler how he felt,
'he said he felt better"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-08-29
SnOWballing iu July.

Eurekal We have found it at last
place where we can only keep COM
fortably cool every hour in the twenty
four, but where genuine narrow pierre
ing SILVER is on the catalogue Of July
luxuries. We snowballed on horse
back yesterday, climbed through acres
of beautiful wild flowers far above
climber line" and looked into that Gu
rious chasm where ice, which knows no
melting, floats on the bosom Of snow
girt lake. Then returning to the alti-
tude Of this latter-day Eden, we were
well nigh Knocked by the appearance
on our table of generous dishes of well
frozen cream. On these midsummer
days, when you of the east are suffering
heated term of unusual intensity, it is
impossible to imagine a greater luxury
than Gods cool, pure breath of life, !"
as it exists two miles above the sea-
Estes Park, Colorado, letter to Omaha Re
pubEcUn
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-08-29
HUIllOr-.

"Can stored urn or animated bust a
exceed in eloquence the words, No
Trust ?"-Erchdnge.
What is it? The cause Of death in a
report recently returned to the city reg
istrar. is stated to be hOpin Golf"
What is it?
The San Francisco Post tells a story
Of shark chasing a lawyer. Those
California papers most always blunder
that way. Lawyers will, of course, I'M