The Osceola times., 1878-04-06
NUMBER l.
FACTS AND FANCIEs.

THE material most used out west for
a lite sized bust is quart of whisky.
"What is wisdom p asked Q teacher
Of class Of small girls. A bright.eyed
little creature arose and answered "In-
formation of the BRAIN"
KANSAS teacher -"Where does all our
grain produce 60 TOT" "Boy-''It goes
into the hopper" Teacher Hopper
What hopperr Boy (triumphantly)-
"Grasshopper |"
THE Yankee Grams himself With cake;
the Southerner prefers the torture Of hot
biscuits. Either diet is sufhcient to pro-
duce q sectional animoeity that only
blood can allay.
"WHAr is the difference betweeu
RSsssS onsS ISS psl., ls@Sn saSs Hs oSH %AsP ay
say: "Then I don't want you to buy
any lemons for me-"
A SCHENECTADY clergyman b deliver.
ing sermons on Heaven" Il has
seemed to us for some time that some
thing ought to be said on that side Of the
subject.-[N. Y. Observer.
The momentous question OF spring
bonnets: Browns wife--" One word
more, dear. Would you trim II with
blue feathersg' Robinson's wife" Oh,
l couldn't decide at once. Come to-
morrow, and we'll devote the whole day
to it,"
DENTIST, to an old lady about pur-
chasing some false teeth: Fer mastlca-
tion, my dear madam, they can only b
surpassed by nature herself" Old lady:
o laws, doctori / don't care nothing
about the mastication If 1 can only chsw
with EN-"
WHAT beautiful example Of simpli-
city in dress is shown some followers Of
the fashion by that domestic animal, the
cat, which rises in the morning, washes
its face with its right hand, gives it,
tail three jerks, and is ready .dressed for
the day.
"THE girls Of our day are very badly
educated" said one OF the members Of
a committee on education to the Bifhop
of Gloucester. "That can not b
denied" retorted his lordship "How-
ever, there is one consolation, the boys
will never find it out"
THERE are seventy four penny savinn
banks in Liverpool, located in schools,
churches, factories, ETC., which receive
small amounts from depositors up to ten
dollars, when accounts are opened in
larger banks. Last year these banks ~
ported 296, $50 accounts.
A SHORT, simple. and accurate method
of computing interest Is found In the
follow wing rule, namely: Multiply prin-
cipal BY number OF days, and divide BY
366. The quotient will be the interest
at per cent, and for any other multi
ply by the per cent. desired:
THEY have begun to post circusbills
on the grave-stones out In the wilds Il
the west. Should the custom become
general, and reach out its arms to EN-.
brace the civilized world, 1t will And
men, il death has not changed their dis-
position, mean enough to get up and de-
mand a complimentary ticket for the
privilege.
Our Jim in the wild extravagance OF
his youth says he will never marry any
girl who doesn't wear satin underskirts
and silk stockings. This Is pretty toney,
coming from q boy of James's caliber,
but we had some idiotic ideas of that
sort once ourself. Now the most daxsling
hope that urges us to struggle on 10 that
we may be able to secure flannel under
skirts for our wife and cotton socks for
ourself.-- Pittsburg Leader.
A VERY little boy had one day done
wrong, and he was sent, after paternal
correction, to ask in secret the forgiveness
of his Heavenly Father. His o6ense was
passion. Anxious to hear what be would
say, his mother followed to the door Of
the room. In lisping accents she heard
him ask 10 be made better; and then,
with childlike simplicity, he added:
"Lord, make mas temper better, too"