Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1878-08-08
Mr.QuiggIes Clears Up the Gloom.

MT. 0AtlSSleS CleaFS I'D tne OlOOms
'I'll tell you how 1t is said Quiggles
to friend who was complaining OF be-
ing crowded into corner, you can
make fortune by going into bank
ruptcy, If your debts are only big
enough to make 1t an object. The
more you owe, the more you make,
don't you see?'
mo, I'll be smothered If I do,' said
the unfortunate friend. Il owe enough,
the Lord knows, If that's all you want,
but how Pm to pay even 80 cents on
the dollar, and have anything left to
commence over again, is one of the
things L can't see into"
But you don't want to pay your
debts, man. Well, but you are q green
un-that is too good. PayI Ha-ha!
What are you going TO fail for? 1sss.sz-z
Coz can't help it.. Bang it all,
what are you laughing about?
"But you can't afford TO fail iu theso
hard times, unless you can make a snug
thing out of it. You mustn't plungo
headlOng into ruin with your eyes
Shut said Quiggles, adjusting his
diamond pin. sf .a.r
Mustn't I?'
No! never do in the world. Have
your wits about you and keep your
mead clear. Don'tlet the trouble worry
yOu into logging your brain with too
much drink. Wouldn't do Ht all.
Keep your eyes peeled and watch for
the main chance ------...
'Yes-yes; see. But how?' ,.r,..,.
You must appoint your own re-
ceiver, and be sure to select the worst
muttOn-head you can find. Get man
that don't know enough 10 drive a COW
and too lazy to add up column of
figures, even IL he knows how II you
can find an ignOramus that can't read,
so much the better. Make him believe
there ain't hardly anything to divide,
and you can buy him of cheap $50.
so, no, that's the way, is 1t? Go on,
I'm learning FAST T t2i
fthe man you get Is green enough,
and not too blamed awkward to
stumble on the true state of things ac-
cidentslly,. you won't have 9 bit of
trouble. Whack up with him right on
the start, chuck bis eyes chock full If
dust, keep your own counsel and rake
in the pile.'
But the credit0rs-what are they to
do?' ..-,..
Them! Oh, they Can hold the bag,
and take what drops, but you take
mighty good icare to hold the screen
steady and see that nothing gets
through. Play 1t tine and you're he, l.
ed, old boy, mark me. Pm talking by
the book, for 1've been there myself,
you know
And Quiggles consulted his magnifi-
cent winder and said it was about
his time Of day to refresh.-Cfncinnati
Breakfast Table,
ANECDoIE OF PROFESSOR HENRY
"i met him." writes q Boston friend,
''but once at Montreal. noticed that
this fine-loOking man, when he arrived
at the hotel in Montreal, was placed at
the head of our table, but did not know
who he was. He came home by the
same route and at the same time with
Us, and was very kind and courteous
to my travelling companions as well as
myself. WhatI remember more distinct
ly than any thing else was happen
ing at ROuse's Point while we were
waiting for the steamer. The professor
was talkative and communicative in
his quiet way, and was full ofincident5
Of travel and adventure. Soon the
steamer appeared in sight, and while
she was approaching Us the proft ssOr
sat upon the wharf looking dreamily
at her. Presently he aroused himself,
and said: Il see peculiar sparkle OF
the waves near the side of the steamer,
where the sun shines upon her Git was
almost sunset). Il wonder what tie
cause of i5 Is? l have seen phosphores-
cent light before, but never exactly
like this. And see! there 1t Is also upon
the other, the darker side of the steam
er. Well, certainly that is very Curl
ous.' We looked, and indeed it SEEM
ed remarkable. First upon the bright
side Of the steamer, and then upon the
dark side, would appear these curious
flashes of light; and disappear almost
instantly. They seemed to come ak
regular intervals, and 1t was beautiful
as well as strange. Our reveries were
rudely disturbed, however, by one OF
the customs inspectors approaching.
Looking at them flashes ?"
YES said the professor. u wonder
what they are?'
"Oh. .them's hot ashes they are throw
ing out Of the ash pits
1.-THE professor was nonplussed for
moment. Then saying, quietly, We'll,
well, live and learn-lIve and learn,
he lepsed into silence" = Editors
Drawer, In Harpef's Magazine for
August.