The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1878-08-29
WHO KNOWS t?

uOneyhuCKie WIG OUTSIDE my WINDOW
that couldn't sleep. The moon was
still in the sky, but a veiled vet lumin-
Gus splendor in the east told that the
day was breaking-the day of June that
began my twenty-seventh year. When
| say that | wasa woman, and add that
| was unmarried, and, worst of all, that
| had lost for good the requisite energy
that held forth any promise in that di-
rection, it will naturally be thought that
| shall make but a sorry heroine; and it
is just because of these discouraging facts
that waut TO jot down this little expe.
rience Of day, as a sor' of consolation
to that suffering part vi my sex who
have latent hopes, long lingering, unfill~
ed, at times at the last gap, then flicker
ing up again with sickly tenacity most
painful to contemplate. But who knows
what day may bring forth? Who
knows?
| went about on tiptoe, not to awaken
mamma and took it as piece of in
gratitude that when she came down to
breakfast, and began to enjoy the toast
| had 80 nicely Drowned for her, and To
sniff the fragrance of bunch of honey.
suckles that had scrambled for at the
risk of sprained ankle and the cost of a
shower of morning dew upon my clean
calicO--l thought it mean of mamma to
begin about that church festival before
the day had fairly begun.
'Pm 50 glad its fine weather, Jane" "
said mamma, with great urbanity OF
tone and manner. al thought I'd get
up early, 80 that you could reach the
church in good season; and | wouldn't
waste any flowers in the mouse, dear
l'd keep them all for your table"
"You know very well, mamma" re-
piled, "that am not going to have a
table. Pve served my apprenticeship at
tables. Long ago, when was young
and fair, | wore white, with my hair
curling about my shoulders, and had the
flower table, and enjoyed it. Later on,
l put my hair up, and had fancy
table, and endured it with great resigna
ton. Last year | had recourse to a
switch to exc out my scanty locks, and
was compelled reluctantly to take the
postoffice. This year | shan't have any
thing; in fact, mamma, | am not going
to the festival"
Mamma put down her bit of toast
and turned pale.
Not going to the festival" she said,
mournfully.
"No, mamma" said, beginning al
ready to plead my case. Cant have
one birthday to myself2 | am twenty
seven years old to-day"
"Oh, hush, Jane" said my poor old
mother. "You scream so, the Hunters
next door will hear you, and blurt it all
over the place. am not deaf. If you
choose to give up all chance of-of 80
ciety, and neglect your duties, and
recourse, | have nothing to say, only
must in that case 90 myself"
You! !" | cried. You'll be sick for
month afterward; you haven't been
able to do anything of that kind fol
years."
81 know it, Jane; but if you refuse tc
do these things, | must. | know shall
be prostrated with the heat, and my
nerves will be shattered, and you are
young and strong, and still attractive
enough to compete with any young lady
in the place, and might, | verify believe
II you were not so obstinate and head
strong, be surrounded and admired al
you used to be, and you might, for my
sake, Jane, at least attend those enter
tainments."
Mamma put her handkerchief to he
eyes, and | yielded; l groaned in hesl
and in spirit, but yielded. After
had tidied up the work, and settlet
mamma in the cool shady sitting.room
upon her favorite lounge, with a mic
book in her hand, and a palm.lesf clos
by-for the day was growing hot
twisted up my hair before the glass, witt
many sour mocking grimace at tn
dark, thin, discontented face therein
put on an ugly brown linen dress,
calabash of hat, and went off to th
church.
My mother looked after me with sue
misery in her face that | called back +
her that / would wear sonnet hing nice il
the evening?
"Will you wear your rose.colore
crape?" pleaded mamma
"Will / wear spangles, and jun
through hoop?" | said. mo, o,mamms
I'll wear my black silk"
"And curl your hair ?" she coaxed.
"1'here's q whole switch already curle
for me up in NY bureau drawer" | n
piled. ats nice this hot weather
have very little hair Of ones own.
Don't scream so % said poor mothe
looking toward the Hunters side viii
dows.
As if the Hunters didn't know a
about my failing charms, and no dout
took an inventory of them half yearly
J send abroad to the eldest son, who ha