Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-09-02
Flies, flies. beautiful flies

Flies, hies beautiful fes-
You may smash one to death, but he never dies
A doctors fees, for instance, would
you call them ill-gOtten gains?
A delicate, but not uncommon parcel
"A lady wrapped up in herself.
The Graphic has seen ladies in their
shirred sleeves. Owing to the heat.
HailstOnes grow in size very fast as
farmers ride into town to find reporter.
Every boy has to let something off
sudden near cat, at least once in his
life.
Don't turn into the yard when you see
woman signaling to you with napkin.
She is driving flies out doors.
For getting the servant girl up early
in the morning well-developed mosquito
is worth dozen alarm clocks.
Fashionable mother: "Maria, I'm al
most discouraged; how many times have
l told you not to say 'tater, but perta-
ter p"
Whenever young ladies learn so to
stick a pin in their apron strings that it
won't scratch fellows wrist, there will
be more marriages.
Even the Russian language has not
the power to describe the feeling of the
man with mosquito bite between his
shoulder blades.
What makes man wild in these days
is to pay five dollars for a medical con.
sultation in which he is ordered to wear
an all-wool undershirt.
The same backache which makes q
boy howl when he's digging potatoes
wreathes his face in smiles when he slip!
off the back way to picnic. Boys ART
curious insects.
How funny! If you see merchan
studying up the sailing days of foreign
steamers, you form a high opinion of hi
business; but if a cashier does it, yol
draw your deposits from his bank in
stanter.
An English boy was beating donke,
numerically, when the minister of tha
parish, coming up, censured him for hi
cruelty. The boy resented the retort
"lm sure you medina care; it's name o
your congregation"
"The cat in gloves" said Franklin
"catches no MICE" Indeed no; not she
When the cat is able to wear gloves sh
can afford to buy her mice, ready dresse
and cooked. Bully for the cat in glove,
-BurtingtOm Haa0keye.
The London Lancet says a blow on th
ear has often ruptured the drum, an
warns parents against boxing children
ears. You cat get more music out of
child by applying the slipper coup
of feet below the "drum."
"What a fine dark hair you have go
Miss NJ! My wife, who is mue
younger than you, has her hair qui
gray" "Indeed," rejoined Miss M
If 1 had been your wife, my hair !
doubt would have been gray too."
1t is printed that there is a girl dow
east who cuts two cords of wood per da
attends to all the household affairs, driv
home the cows, can lift barrel of eide
and occasionally whips the school-mast
when none of the boys are able to do
1t was an honest Kentucky editor, W.
evidently believed an open confessi
good for the soul, and he said: "Seve
teen years ago last Sunday the first b;
= = tie of Bull Run was fought. The writ
of this paragraph ran about four mil
. 's on that day without stopping
a. Every good citizen will stop and spe
a consoling word to the man whose "
termelon fell from his arms as he "
: running after street car. He cam
get his busted melon back, but he c
be made to realize that there is wol
IN On far better than this.-.DetrOit Free Pre-
mt A cockney inquired at the post of
g the other day for a letter for "En,
tai Hogden." He was told that there '
&c none. "Look ere" he replied lii
lis angrily; you've hexamined hodd
- ter for my name. 1t don't commeI
t nt, with hatch it begins with no. l.
10 in the 'Ole that's got the hos"