Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1878-06-26
Tact in Talking.

Conversation is the latest flower of cul
ture. IL needs, In order to come to anything
near perfection, q consensus of inward and
outward conditions, the absence of any one
of which is fatal The delicate exchange
and alteration which il implies is impossi-
BILE not only if there is not some parity of
value in the thoughts exchanged, but also
the tact and art of selection among them
1t requires, above all things, light hand,
the power of taking up a subject easily and
readily, of holding it not too tightly Of
adapting the treatment of it to the inter
locutor's need or point of view, of loosing it
when it has ceased to serve as mental
stimulus, and of taking up another with the
same readiness, to be dropped, in its turn,
as soon as it has served its purpose. A
thorough discussion of subject is always
out of place in conversation-you want
hints, guesses, glimpses, the suggestion Of
varied points of view, side-lights, the play
of fancy and humor even the ironical treat
ment of ones own serious interests, all col.
ored by direct reference to the individual
mind to which you are for the moment
brought near. To dull natures good con.
versationist always looks inconsistent. His
many-sidedness seems contradictory his in
stinct and need to be all things to all men
fact it is only sublimated veracity his
sense of the RELATIVELY of truths and of their
multitudnous phases, sides, shapes, and ref
erences, wears to the narrow, plodding un-
derstanding look of sophistry and frivolity.
The homely wit, which stays where it grew,
in its own little plot of earth, is puzzled at
the vagabond instinct which sends other
minds soaring and wheeling and circling in
search of fresh and distant prospects.
There is trick, which at first sight looks
| like this conversational dexterity, but which
] is in fact its enemy. The true converse
zionist touches lightly on his subject and
then passes on, but he has touched some in
| teresting or characteristic feature in it the
pseudo-conversationis nibbles and pecks at
any tag or corner of it which may be for the
moment prominent whether or no the point
touched on stands in any vital connection
with the whole. While handling theme
easily, it is still possible TO put your mind
TO it. 1t is also possible, as Dr. johnson has
it, to put your mind fairly to the mind OF
your companion. And this is just what the
pseudo-conversationis cannot do. They
are common among the men, and still more
among the women, who are introduced to
one at party as " such a remarkably intel
ligent person So much to say on all sub
| jects |" And they certainly have false air
of intelligence, and may originally have
started with good deal of mind. A life
necessarily passed in company, without the
balancing effects of study and frequent soli-
tude, always betrays itself in this peculiar
quality of the talk, which we notice with
most disappointment in those the externals
of whose minds, so to speak, give at first
sight promise of intelligence and mental
comradeship.
And in these two things-intelligenc and
comradeship--all the higher interest of so
ciety lies The neutral interest in all that
appeals to the intellect, and the personal in
terest of social fellowship, each feeding and
supporting the other-personal sympathy
forbidding the intellect to be pedantic OF
absolute, and the intellect giving a ground
aud charm to personal sympathy-are the
main conditions of conversation at its best
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