Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1878-07-20
TERMS:
A LITTLE OF EVERYTHING.

Motto of the investigation W.T.
ness-"Now lie mel"
The investigation witnesses wear
lie.lack and lilies in button-hole
boquets.
During the siege, Paris subsisted
on horse-fesh. Now it lives on
strangers.
John Wanamaker, the Philadel-
phia clothier, is reported to be worth
$2O,OO0,0 900.
The worst tyrant in the world is the
woman who fancies herself superior
to her husband, and lets everybody
know it.
"The class will rise," said the
precise lady teacher in the grammar
department, "the class will rise, and
remain rising"
1T will never do to let women
vote. They would die before elec-
tion day, trying to find out the color
of the other party's new ballots.
Paper, sirY'' asked the newsboy.
"No, l never read" was the blunt re-
ply. Hi, boys, come here" called
out the gamin; "hcre's man as is
practisin' for the jury
"Shoe. wae-cae. mette," the name
adopted by the American crew
abroad, is Indian for "lightning In
the water" This In no improve
ment on the old word grog.
Man loves and runs away. Woman
brings action for breach of promise,
and gets damages. Woman loves,
and she rides away. Man brings his
action, and gets hooted out of court.
A German farmer disputed his
tax bill. He said: 81 pays the State
tax, the county tax, and the school
tax; but by tam! l pays no total tax.
rs got no total. and never had any,"
The cat that ran across the stage
at Cincinnati, as Miss Carey was
about to sing at the festival, must
have been a Theodore Thomas cat
sent there from New York to dis
turb the piece sung.
After Nasby has sold and resold
the Toledo "Blade" about fourteen
times more, and changed editors
every time, the pressmen will begin
to find out some head center from
whom to take orders.
A burning lake of sulphur has
been discovered in the Indian Ter
ritory. That's the next thing to hell!
We have thought all along there was
something wrong about that country,
or they would never have allowed
the Indians to enjoy it in peace.
The day is passed when Yankees
can be recognized by the dreadful
oaths once so common among them:
II vuml" II snum!" ~ swow!"
and "Darn it'll" or by their asking:
"Neouw Jim, abeout heouw long be-
fore you will begin to get ready to
prepare to make start to go and
fetch that ceouw"
Mrs. Mills was asked the other
day how she managed to get along
so nicely with Mr.. Mills, and frank
ly replied, "Oh, l feed him we'll.
When woman marries, her hap
piness for little while depends upon
the state OF her husbands heart;
after that it's pretty much according
to the state of his stomach"
Visitor to Sunday school, address,
ing the children: "What is the os.
tensible object of Sunday school in.
struction7" No answer. Visitor:
"What is the ostensible object of
Sunday school Instruction." No
answer. Visitor: "What IL the os-
tensible object Of Sunday school in
structionY" Small boy lin a feeble
voice.: eyes, SIR"
A Kansas clergyman paused in the
midst of sermon he was delivering
a few days ago, and remarked, with
. scowl upon his countenance and in
a voice loud enough to be heard out
side the church: "If the boy who
threw that egg through the window
will remain until the services are
over, I'll show him what Christian
minister can do for the salvation of
his soul"
A pretty girl should never use
paint. If she only knew how dirty
and sallow it makes the back of her
neck look to the man who sits imme-
diately behind her in the church or
theater, she would quit it. The line
of demarcation between the lilly
white induced by creme de lis, is
painfully evident. 1t don't look
well to see girl all rosy and beau
tiful in front and all sallow or
freckled behind !