The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1878-06-13
MtT AND HuM0R.

A grocer both sells his goods and
gives them a weigh.
Why is Rhine wine like April bios
SONS! Because it comes from the
German-nation
A resident of Waterbury, Conn.,.
bought 4 neighbours dog because it
howled. and killed him. The neigh
Dor dug up the body, got one dollar
bounty for it, and then bought anoth-
er dog. Then the first man hOwled.
Somebody estimated that every man
who lives to be sixty years old has
spent seven months buttoning his
shirt collar. Thirty years more
ought to be added for hunting up the
collar button.
The Scottish American got off a
joke, on the American plan last week.
and the Office files have since been
crowded to the dormer windows with
letters from amazed subscribers.
asking what itmeant.
"A man may elude disagreeahle
creditor for long while sometimes.
but there is one thing in this uncertain
vale or tears that he can't dodge.
When sneeZe has business with 3
fellow it always finds him at home.
Several years ago young man in
New Orleans put sum of money in
a savings bank, and forgot all about
1t until recently, when, after reckon
ing up the interest, it was found that
the bank had failed.
man who was noted for his coon.
omy Of the truth was once asked if
he had dined. He replied. II have.
upon my honor" The Uuestioner
SAID, If you have dined upon YOUR
henor. you must have had "a scanty
NEAL
Scene at Theater Matinee.
tlenan ito lady)-''l fear there will be
IA rush, and we shan't get in.'' Lady
Mot get in what do you mean,
There are very few matinees where /
ever failed to get in, with perseverance
and--this big shawlpin
Have you damp sheets in your
house 7! asked guest of a manager
of fashionable hotel. as he registered
his name. NO." replied the manager
but Ill have pair dampened for
you If you wish The stranger re-
tired.
Secretary McCrary is now represen.
ted as holding on to the tail of the
in the hope of keepinp
1t in order. We have seen a herds,
man manage a wild steer in that way
Helm hard up on the starboard aide
Me- "s'
When young man in Patagonia
wants a wife he rides out and lassoos
one, and in the more civilized United
States OF America when young man
wants wife, but does not come to
time, the las-soes him for breach ~
promise
Mater-''So you enjoyed your walk.
Kate: Did yon go all that distance
alone I" Danghter-"Oh yes, mamma
quite alone Beastly brother
''Then how il it, Kit. You took an
and brought home walking
stick 7"
When paper starts out with the
express purpose Of filing "a long felt
want. it fills it from one to four
months. besides filling the editor with
disgust and bis pocket-book with
orders and then the
end.
The Grand Duchess of Baden. only
laughter of the Emperor Of Germany.
. rearing her child, a girl. as though
'he was expected To earn her own
living in after life. The chIld's com.
'anions are instructed not to recognize
ler rank in any way.
New chatelaine fans have bird
a small red tanayer or an
'rIoIe being mounted on the hollow
stem, in which is concealed 4 painted
ed fan, while to the other end
;hafelaine hook is fastened to attach
he fan to belt.
Among many elegant dresses. the
most striking are those of silk and
Ioit Indian cashmere. The edges are
as'lonably finished with blocks. tur-
,eIs ana scallups, or, if completed
with fringe. the beading is a shell
una leaf trimming, knife or box
plating, puffings, loose rolls or shir-
-ings.
A cunning juryman addressed the
;ierk OF the court when administering
me oath, saying. '.Speak up; can.
Tot hear what you say" ..Stop; are
'ou deaf !" asked he Judge. YES.
u one ear" ..Then you NAV leave
ne box. for it is necessary that jury
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