The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1878-11-23
The Story of Some Girls.

This truthful story is about some par
ticular girls that Erastus Bailey, of
somewhere out in Michigan, had on
hand There were six of Mr.. Bal
leys girls, all daughters, and all will
ing to be marred, as the old gentleman
was willing they should be. He put
them on the matrimonial market in one
sweet bunch, utterly regardless of ex
pense i'll she way of curl papers, store
frizzes, hooks-and-eyes and hair pins:
they were displayed before young men,
| middle aged men, and all kinds of men,
on all kinds of occasions, but none of
Mr.. Bailey's six daughters tished for a
husband with any kind of luck; not one
of them made a catch. Other mems
daughters went off like hot cakes, it
seemed to Bailey, although neither he
nor his girls could see any reason why
men should be SO miserably stupid.
Baileys girls We're everywhere, and yet
no man ever went where they were;
they were offered free of charge to any
body who would take them off the old
mans hands, but nobody seemed to want
cheap girls with red hair and pug noses
1t will probably never be found out how
the idea came to strike Mr. Bailey, but
he finally resolved to withdraw his girls
from the market, and that not one of
them would listen to any kind of an
offer of marriage. Only philosophers
know why he settled upon such re-
markable course as this, but ne was him.
self philosopher. Mr.. Bailey consulted
his six red headed girls and then went
down town. and told everybody that he
had put a stop to all fooling around his
daughters; that he had locked them up
and would stay at home with a club to
keep the boys off, if less determined
measures failed. The effect was i'm
mediate and tremendous. La two days
some of the boys began to watch when
the old man left the house, and then
they slid in to see his pug nosed daugh-
ters, but they always slid out a few
minutes before pa came home When
Mr., Bailey was told of these things he
put a paddock on his gate, and the boys
jumped over the fence, rather liking the
romance of the thing. In two weeks
one of the girls lowered herself from a
second story window, ran off with one
of the boys and got ms rried. Old Mr..
| Bailey tore around in dreadful way
before the public, put some iron bars
across the windows to prevent the es-
cope of any more girls, and congratu-
lated himself on his cuteness. In an
other 10 days the second girl got off in
a manner utterly inexplicable, and came
back with a husband, and a third settled
herself for better or worse with bank
cashier, only little while further on.
This is all the matrimony that occurred
in that family at last advices, but the
old gentleman is waiting with abundant
hope that the other girls will glide nois-
essly out through the cellar, or fly out
the chimney, and climb the fence and
get married With three girls on his
hands still, he has bought shot gun
and chained an unusually ferocious dog
in the back yard, and put an extra bolt
on the back door, He gives regular
warning Of these things all over the
town every day-and hopes for the worst.
1t will certainly be realized, for every
qody knows as well as Mr.. Bailey, tn
when you lock up something there are
always lots of people waiting for good
chance to break in and carry it off; and
this always works the more SO with a
girl than anything else. a man who
wouldn't steal your purse doesn't have
any scruples about carrying off your
girl There is probably no moral to this
story, but it is an enduring lesson to all
fathers: lock up your daughters.