South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1878-09-13
w1r AND 11UMoR.

E& "A six-years-old child, who was in
the habit OF saying the Lords Prayer
only in the morning. said the other eve-
ming: Mamma. think I'll say the
Lords Prayer tonight, too. can just
leave out Give US this day our daily
bread" and. instead" I'll say, what the
ministers say, keep us, o Lord, from
the prevailing diseases"
IVA young lady was speaking to a
friend. who had called upon her, regard.
ing trait characteristic OF her mother,
Who she remarked. always had good
word for every one. why" said she,
believe IL Satan were discussed moth
c! would have good word to say about
him." Just then the. mother entered
and was informed what the daughter
lad said whereupon she quietly observed,
Well, my dear, l think we might all
initiate Satan's perseverance,"
VA new clerk in drug store was
discharged the other day because he
didn't know how TO look wise, roll
mp his eyes and say seventy five CENTS"
without turning red in the face as he
banded out little powder that had
cost the concern about two cents and
fraction. Emotion and business don't
jingle.
TIE DARKEY's CoSsoLATIoN.-No
long since San Antonio colored dar-
key did somo whitewashing for man
living in the fifth ward. On paying for
the job the employer paid Off Nose, for
tha. was the dsrkey's name, in Mexican
quarters at par. 1t was several days be-
fore Nose found out they were worth
only 20 cents. Nose was very much
hurt about it, jess TO think Of Colo.
mel - cheatin' dis hard working Mig
gah outen 80 cents. Foah dc Lord, i
wud neber had believed it on him.
hadn't orter tux de job in the fust place
And then he added more cheerrully:
But eff hadn't whitewasEed de fence
neber would hab found cut whar all
them chickens roasted what sold next
morning for dollar. De banks hadn't
cotch up wild dis niggah yet, hcah -
GdloestOn NeaoS.
GS"What are you in Jail for2r ask
cd prison visitor Of a negro. "For
borwin' money, sab y Why they don't
put men in Jail for borrowing money?
Eyes, but you see had knock the man
down free or four times afore he'd lend
it TO me-" exclaimed Afric's child.
VThis man was pcddling waffies
and sprinkling white sugar over them
ON the street corner. Men were enga.
god close by scattering lime in the gut
ters. Two old darkies stood looking,
first at tho lime scattercrs. then at the
waffle peddler. One said to the other,
Isaac tell you de yallcr fever mus be
bal; dey's q scattern de lime loose in
de cutters dar, an dat waffle man is q
scattcrn' dem wafIles wild it bad
gVA young lady has compiled list
Of her gentlemen acquaintance, and en-
tered their names in handsome album.
She playrully calls it her ''him-book.
How dear to my heart
Are the scenes OF my childhood
AS fond recollection
Presents them 10 view;
There's one thing. however,
We yet hold a grudgc 'gainst--
And that is the sole
or the old lady's shoe.
Elm ira Gazette.
s1Old ST, Of the Atlanta Constitu
ton, on the mo hell' theories: fYer
jess mako niSgar belebe dar aint nc
hereafter, an sec whar yer comes ter
Ebery secon' house'll be or court house
an de houses twixt emil be jale houses
Hits moughty hard to keep em strate
now, wild de sheriff and hell boCe fore
dar eyes,"
EE Wilson, the celebrated vocal st
vas upset one day in his carriage neal
Edinburg. A Scotch paper, after record
ing tho accident, said 1--WE are happy
10 state he was able to appear the fol-
lowing evening in three pieces"
EV'Thc other day gentleman, resid
ing in neat modest cottage. caught
tramp prowling about his back yard, evi
IDENTIFY trying TO steal something.
Why don't you como TO the front doc
you want anything?' Indignantly roar.