Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1878-08-09


"A Salem IN. J.) man has made
twenty hogsbeads of ice cream in two
weeks.
Griffin, Ga, is to have a big bar
becue; fifty carcasses are already sub
scribed.
The all-devouring Cyclops was al
ways addressed as Your Solitary
Eyeness!"
"A burglar blew open Sandy
Greek, N. Y, safe, and got one Mexi-
can dollar.
-"H How do you feel this morningP"
"Well, I've just had n bath and feel
towelable, thank you"
Spikes says he has heard of sweet
music, and he thinks the music of the
clock must be the s--hour notes.
Assessors returns from ninety
Massachusetts towns show loss in
valuation of nearly two millions the
past year.
1t is bad enough to have dog-days;
but it is almost too much for good ma
ture to be afflicted also with cat-nights.
N. Y. Commercial advertiser.
Maybe England will regard us
More respectful, don't you see,
When she's beaten by Bogardus
As the Chomly-Pennell-ty.
-Stonewall Jackson'S cape of con-
federate cloth, which has several bull
let holes through it, is now among the
relics in the armory of New York's Old
Guard.
One resident of Liberia, who went
there from Lynchburg after the war,
I,c nI o,,I &. L., 81
500 to $4,000 year. He is an under
taker.
There is sound philosophy in this
remark of the Rochester Democrat:
"An editor is man who chronicles
the departure of other people for the
cool and delicious summer resorts"
Tea raised in South Carolina and
prepared in Baltimore was lately ex-
hibited in Washington to dealers, who
were unable to distinguish it from sim
liar varieties of Chinese and Japanese
growth.
-Apolitical speaker accused a rival of
unfathomable meanness,h and then,
rising to the occasion, said: - warn
him not to persist in his disgraceful
course, or he'll find that two of us can
play at that game"
-Alpheus H. Gallahue, heroic
young New York engineer, pulled boy
out of Mott Haven Canal the other day,
and resuscitated him after he had been
eight minutes under water, it being the
eighteenth life he has saved.
AS an all-sufficient answer to what
we recently said about the prevalence
of souse at its headquarters, the Roch-
ester Democrat merely says: "Bah!'
| This is correct; two bleats are better
than one if one is a sheep IS said -
Graphic
"A wag tried to annoy popular
preacher by asking him whether the
fatted calf was male or female. "Fe-
male to be sure" was the reply, for 1
see the male"-looking the questioner
full in the face-"yet alive in the flesh
before me-"
A Chicago man has invented a
kind of ink specially suitable for lovers.
1t remains bright for five days after use,
and then fades out, leaving the paper
entirely blank. Thus the most gushing
of correspondence would be safe against
exposure.
The sweet girl graduate has been
heard from. Having laid to rest her
bouquets and bolted up her graduating
ribbon, she now wears the royal pur-
pie and tastes the sweets of life-she's
putting up her blackberry jam.
| g'sstG Chronicle.
-"My dear old fellow, how are youP
Haven't seen you since we were at col
lege together. What ails youp You
seem sad" "My friend, | am thirty
five; have arrived at that fatal age
when a novelist would speak of me as
a man still young"
-"Oh, you have been reading Tan
cred,'" said Lord BeacOnsfeld recent
| ly to some one who had quoted pas
sage from that romance in his presence.
That's work to which l refer more
and more every year-not for amuse-
ment, but for Instruction.
Elizabeth w. Tschech, daughter of
the man who was executed in 1874 for
an attempt upon the life of Frederick
| William ". of Prussia, lives in New
| York, divorced woman of fifty-five,
whose only companions are a drove of
cats that share with her a mean and
| desolate hut.
Civilization in cities has outgrOwn
cats. Town rats can be got rid of more
easily than by keeping up an army of
| gaunt, ferocious cats, and in all seri-
business the town feline should become
extinct - Cincinnati Commercial
"A South Carolina boy recently dis
covered a monster that resembled
hippopotamus in creek near Atlanta.
1t offered little resistance, and was
captured by the boy, who placed
iish-hook in its nostrils and led it into
town.
The editor of the Reading Pa.)
Times, now abroad. says that the ball
on the spire of the dome of st. Peters
at Rome, 500 feet from the pavement,
Withhold only sixteen persons, but that
, half of them are always sure to be Yam
KEGS.
-"By George" exclaimed Mr..
Malinthorpe, looking at the departing
figure of his runaway horse making
about ninety-eight miles an hour down
the Madison road; "by George, he may
not be II very brilliant animal, but he's
got heap of good, hard, stage horse
sense. -Hat0k-Eye.
College professor Ito junior, who
has been taking advantage of his alb
sent-mindedness)- -" Young man, l
find on looking over the records that
this makes the fifth time in two years
that you have been granted leave of alb
sence to attend your grandmother
funeral. ."-Harper' Bazdr.