The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1878-02-28
WI some chunks ov advice how tew

WI some chunks ov advice how tew
spot yur future husband:
/. The man who is jellOus ov every
little attention which yu get from some
other fellow yu will find after you are
married tew him luvs himself more
than he duz WI, and what you mistook
for sollissotude, VII will discover has
changed tew Indifference.
Jellosy isn't heart disease. it is
liver complaint.
.. 4 mustash is not indispensable 1t
is only a little more hair, and is much
like moss and other excressences-
often does best on sile that won't raise
anything else. Don't forget that
those things which you admire in a
fellow before marriage, you will prob
ably dislike in husband after, and a
mustash will get to be a very weak
diet after a long time.
5. If the husbands could be took on
trial as Irish cooks are, tow-thirds ov
them would probably be returned; but
there don't seem tew be emmy law Tor
this. Therefore, girls, yu will see
that you get a man yu have teW keep
him. even if yu luz on him. Conse-
quently if yu have got emmy kold Wit
ties in the house, try him on them
once in while during securing
season. and if he swallers them well
and seq he will take some more, he IL
man who, when blue Monday Gums,
will wash we'll.
4. Don't marry a pheller who IL
alwas tellin how his mother doz things.
1t liz two hard tew wean a yung one.
If young man can beat yu playing
on pianner and can t hear a fish horn
PLAYING on the street without turning
a summerset on account of the musick
that il in him, say tew leave him; he
might answer to tend the babe, and
if VI set him hoing in the garden. yu
will find yu have got tew do it your
self. A man whoZe hole heft lies in
musick land not.too hefty at that)ain t
no better than a seedlitz powder; but
if he lives tew listen while yu sing
sum gentle ballad yu will find him
mellow and not soft. But don't marry
anybody for just one virtew emmy
quicker than yu would flop man fol-
jist one fault.
5. 1t is one of the most tuffest things
for female to be an old maid sue.
cessfully. A great many have tried
it. and made bad job of it, and had q
hard time. Everybody seems to look
upon old maids jist as they do on dried
herbs in the garret-handy for sick
ness-and therefore, girls. it ain 6
mistake that yu shud be willing teW
swop yourself oph with some true
/ l. II ,,bn hnc t,onI Thu
swop is good one, but don't swop fol
man who IL respectable just because
hiz father IL. You had better be al
old maid for four thousand years ant
then join the Shakers. than tew buy
repentance at this price. No woman
ever made this trade who didn ge
either phool, mean cuss, or clown
for IL husband.
8. In digging down into this subject
| find the digging goes harder tht
further git. 1t is much easier teW
inform yu who not tew take. for The
reason there is more of them.
| don't think yu will foller my
advice, ii give it: and, therefore.
will keep it, for look upon advice a:
| look upon castor ile-a mean dose t.
give and Il mean dose to take. But
must say one thing, girls. or Spite. /
you can find a bright eyed. well-ballus
ted boy, who looks upon poverty a,
sassy az u child looks upon wealth
who had rather sit down on the curb
stone in front of the Fifth Avenue
Hotel, and eat ham sandwich, thar
, go inside and run in debt for his din
ner and toohpick-and who is a mar
with that sort of pluck that make
mistakes defeat for Il victory, III
advice is to take him body and soul
snare him at onst for he is stra,
trout, Il breed very skase in our waters
Take him. | say, and bid onto hin
as hornets bid on tree.