Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-09-05

mysterious, delicate, subtle intuition to
which our masculine and grosser
natures are entirely strangers. She was
quite correct from the first. Little
Paolo has grown up marvelously like
his youngest cousin. Even ! can see it
now. "-
Odds and Ends.
ON SEEING 4 MULE KICK 4 NAN
THROUGH TIE ROOF or 4 SIZED.
o mule
What strong and complete machinery
What sudden and precipitate extremes,
Mans judgment and his vision must be keen or he
viii hesitate to rouse thee from thy dreams.
A rugged school
Trained thy great QHGdriccDS eTtepS0T
To bust a keg of nails, kick down q fence or
Lift man, o mule.
Say. mule,
Thou was not always thus insoluble,
Insensate to kindly touch or word ri
Not always have thy accents, lOud and Y0luble,
Mans fearful heat with dreadful terror stirred !?
.- Has your harsh rule
Always impelled him, with emotions feet
To fly the toundling of the later feet?
| -- Say, gentle mule
Speak, mule; ,.
Why did thou, with intense vitality
Lift through the shingles roof of yonder shed
man; an earth-bOrn child of immortality,
Because ne passed thee with incautoEs tread ?
He was no fool,
That baSe-born, SOuIlcSs mules should kick
him. No.
he was a scholar an A. NJ. Phi. D., Doh!
Huntington Haorkeye.
Motto for the married-Never dis
pair.
Why is love like a canal-boat? Be
cause it is an internal transport.
Of a bureau it may be said: Its the
last drawer that breaks the mans back. "
Shorthand is easily acquired by try
ing to play upon the knives of a hay
cutter
Prof. Agassiz was the only man who
could tell dead fly from huckleberry
IN the dark.
What's the difference between a Gu
cumber and q camper out? None.
The agony Of both is in tents.
All the nice boys have their hair
closely lawn moved. 1t stabs the flies
to death and bothers the mosquitoes.
A man who is long headed and keeps
his ears open is supposed to be unusu-
ally wise, Similar qualities and advan-
tages in mule are not remarkable.
At game Of fortune-telling the other
day at Sandringham, the Princess of
Wales was told by the oracle that her
fate would be to marry a widOWer with
twelve children.
Two lawyers, while bathing at Santa
Cruz the other day, were chased out
Of the water by q shark. This is the
most fragrant case of want of profess
slOnal courtesy on recOnd.
Naturalists have been telling Bergh
that angle worms do no not suffer when
put on q fishhook. The worms appear
to have been made hollow and stuffed
with mud especially for hooking pur-
poses.
[ wonder where the clouds are going"
sighed Flora, pensively, as she pointed
with a delicate finger to the heavy
masses floating in the sky. 81 think
they are going to thunder" said her
brother.
"What would you do if you should
see the Indians coming right down on
you now" asks on Oregon paper
Haven't given the question much
thought, but it strikes us we would say,
" excuse my back"
An English boy was beating don
key numerically, when the minister Of
that parish, coming up, censured him
for his cruelty. The boy resentfully re-
torted: I'm sure you medina care; it's
name Of your congregation"
If you take one Of the new silver half
dollars, pour a little muliatic acid on
the figure of the eagle, and set it out in
the sun for twenty minutes, when you
come to look at it it will be gone. And
the man who took it will be gone also
An Irish gentleman found a potato
bug walking over him the other eve
ming, and when his wife came forward to
kill the ugly haste with broomstick,
he exclaimed: "Whist, We ould fool, let
the haste alone; he thinks Pm Muir
ply"
Lightning came very near killing a
tree agent in this state one day last
week. 1t hit him three times, and if it
had got another whack at him would
have fetched MIN, sure. But by that
time the agent suspected what was the
matter, and got away.
We heard of a case the other day
where young man applied to his en-
ployer for a short leave of absence.
The employer, having his own views of
his business, suggested for reason that
the young man delay his vacation for
d few days. 81 would" replied the
young man, "but the fact is, am 60
ing away to to get married, the day is
appointed, and 1 aua7d to be there gelae'1 1t
comes off, He was there on time
Boston transcript.
Chicago distillers have pronounced
the following problem to the commits
sioner of internal revenue: How can
the Cincinnati distillers sell whisky
cheaper than we CAM" 1t is not our
put in, but we would like to suggest to
the commissioner that perhaps the an
swer may be found in the great North
American fact that Cincinnati waters
her whisky.-OH Gig Derrick.
Smiffkins thought he was going to
make an impression on the beautiful
and musical Miss Tremmalow, and at
the same time convey to her a delicate
hint of the state of her affections, by
his singing OF My heart, my heart is
thine" but he didn't. He got to the
touching line, '"Tis thine, It's thine, my
heart !" when she remarked: e will
take your heart in G. if you please,
Mr.. Smiffkins. Suppose you try it
again." He didn't.-Puck.