Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1878-04-11

cut short pencil and began to figure on
the wagon cover.
"Nine COWS is nine, an I set seven quarts
down under the COWS and multiply. That's
sixty-three quarts of milk. told him sold
ninty. one quarts per day. Sixty-three from
ninety-one, leave twenty-eight and none to
carry. Now where do / get the rest OF the
milk ?" I'll be hanged if 1 haven't given
myself away to one of my best customers, by
leaving burned big cavity in these fggers to
be filled with water" ."-Bahimore Gazette.
SPIRIT OF THE AGE.-A member of the
sanitary police came across boy the other
day who was wheeling home load of oyster
cans and bottles, and curious to know what
use the lad could put them to, he made di.
rect inquiry.
"Goipg to throw them over into our back
yard" replied the boy. II took two loads
home yesterday"
"But what do you use them for"
"It's trick ofthe family" grinned the lad.
"How trick?"
"I'd lust as lief tell" continued the boy, as
he spit On his hands to resume his hold OF the
barrow. "We're going to have some rela,
shuns come in from the country. We may
not have much to eat, but if they see these
cans and bottles and boxes they'll think we'v
had listers, champagne, figs, and nuts till we've
got tired of 'em, and are living on bread and
taters for a healthy change !"
The officer scratched his ear like man who
had received new idea.
s@A A colored man living in West Green
street, New York, having admired colored
widow living in the next block above, but
being afraid to come out boldly and reveal his
passion, went to white man of his acquain-
tance the other day, and requested him to write
the lady letter, asking her hand in marriage.
The friend wrote, telling the widow, in few
brief lines, that the size of her feet was the
talk of the neighborhood, and asking her ifshe
could not pare them down little. The name
of the colored man was signed, and he was
to call on her on Sunday night for an answer.
The writer of the letter met the niger limp.
ing along the street, and asked him what the
widow said. The man showed him scratch
ed nose, 8 lame leg, and spot on his scalp
where handful of wool had been violently
ierked out, and answered in solemn tones,
''She didn't say muffin, and l didn't stay dar
more q minute.
Rsy A negro minister, who married rather
sooner after the death of his wife than some
of the sisters thought proper and becoming,
excused himself as follows: my dear bred
eren and sisters, my grief was greater dan l
could bear I turned every way for peace
and comfort, but none came. | sarched de
Scripturs from Ginisee to Retaliation, and
found plenty of promises to de widder, but ma
~ one to de widderer. So took it dat de
Lord didn't waste sympathy on man when
it was in his power to comfort himself; and
habin fussrate chance to marry in de Lord,
l did so, and would do so again. Besides,
bretheren, / consider dat poor Patsey was
;ust as dead as she would eber be-"
B9~ A poor young man once fell IN love
with an heiress, and the passion being return
ed, it only wanted the parents consent to
make them happy. At last meeting the faith
er, he asked for the daughters hand. Chow
much money can you command p l cannot
command much" was the reply. "Well,
what are your expectations?" "Well. to tell
the truth, expect to run away with your
daughter and marry her if you don't give
your consent"
ia While prisoner was being searched at
a police station, he suddenly cried out, "Ill
never believe in old sayings again r "What's
wrong with old sayings asked the captain.
"Why, theirs enc that says, Heaven helps
them that helps themselves ; helped myself
to pair of breeches, and now where am ?
Where is Heaven? Where is the help to get
out O. thisf
sa~ "Charles, my DEAR" said loving wife,
81 thought you said that the dodo bird was
extinct" $50 it is, pei" he replied. "Well,
but Charley, some one sent in bill to you to-
day, and it says, To one julep, do do; to three
smashes, do do; to twenty braces, do do
Charley, please do not buy any dodoes; they
must be horrid things"
sa- "Ten dimes make one dollar" said the
school-master. "Now, 60 on, sir. Ten dol
lars make one-what?' "They make one
mighty glad these times" replied the boy;
aud the teacher, who hadn't got his last
months salary yet, concluded the boy was
about right.
Bg-"I suppose those bells are sounding an
alarm of fire." sneeringly said man, as the
church bells were calling together the wor-
shippers on Sunday morning to which cler-
gyman, who was passing, rejoined, eyes, my
friend, but it is not the fire of this world"
nD~ "The girls of our day are very badly
educated" said one of the members of COM
mittee on education to the Bishop of Glou-
cester. "That cannot be denied" reto.ted
his lordship. However, there is one conso-
lation, the boys will never find it out"
p8-" Reduced to ST." remarked Jones, as
he passed fashionable tailors store and read
the above statement prominently displayed
on an overcoat. "That's nothing; am re-
duced to much smaller sum than that my
myself"
na% Old Deacon Dobson always boasted that
he was "prepared for the worst" and his