Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1878-06-21
Humorous.

NOullllS out lIHe CaH Keep w Will
the Indicator on n gas-meter.
Paradoxical-" High words only
means, in most cases, low language"
"Work, but don't WORRY" is an old
proverb. But shftless people don't
work, and so usually take it out in wor-
rying.
A Utah paper says: The pretty
girls in this territory used to marry
Young, bet they won't do SO any
more"
Josh Billings says: elf was in the
habit Of swearing, ] wouldn't hesitate to
cuss bed-bug right in his face"
There is something sad about Il harp,
but whether its the tone or the collec-
ton taken up by the player is what
puzzles the philosophical mind.-Detroa
Free Press
"How did you learn that graceful at
titude?" said Il gentleman to fellow
leaning in a tipsy fashion against u
post q have been practicing at II
glass"
A mob hanged a horse thief III Kan
sas, and pinned The inscription on his
back: "This man was not the noblest
work Of God.
Paper, sir?' asked the news boy.
No, | never read" was the blunt an
swer. eli, boys, comes here" called
out the gamin; "here's a man as is
practicin' for the jury"
There is brilliant future in store for
the boy who, when he sees a ton of coal
coming to his house, rushes to his moth
er, asks for the peppermint, rolls on
the floor and groans, and says he has
the cramp.
"What is wisdom" asked teacher
Of class Of small girls. A brigLt-eyed
little creature arose and answered: In.
formation of the brain.
A man who bought his wife new
dress, which was placed in his hand,
was surprised to hear the merchant say
che would send the trimmings around
rs soon us the dray got back"
A western editor in answer to com
plant Of person that he did not give
news enough, told him news was scarce,
to read the Bible, which he had no
doubt would be news to MIN.
An unsophisticated Ncw-England
commercial traveller, on reading the
sign, General Merchandise" on n store,
walked in and asked if he could see the
General.
Two Irishmen were travelling when
they stopped to examine - guide-post.
"Twelve miles to Portsmouth, said
one. Just six miles piece, said
the other. They trudged on apparently
satisfied at the distance.
Said q friend to u bookseller: The
book trade is affected, | suppose, by the
general depression. What kind of books
feel it most?" Pocket-books, was the
laconic reply.
An editor having asked M Illinois
farmer for crop news, received this an
swer: "And the reaper reapeth, the
mower moweth. and the little humble
bee gettcth up the busy grangers trous-
ers legs and bumbleth."
A young housekeeper wants to
know how to tell the age
Of II spring-chicken strike
the bird with sledge hammer. If the
hammer rebounds with sufficient force
to knock your brains out, the chicken
is one year old. / his is more reliable
way than to eoant the wrinkles OH the
fowls teeth.
Two Irishmtn were proceeding III COM
pany TO jail-yard to witness an eXecu-
ton, when one said to the other: 4
say, Pat, where wud yez be if the hang
man had his dues?' Begorra," said
Pat, I'D jist be walkin' down this street
alone'
Lenny," said maiden aunt to u
niece who was so named, you should
cat the barley that is in your soup, or
you will never get u husband" Lenny,
looking up innocently, inquired. Is
that what you eat it for. aunty" "Aun-
tvs reply is not chronicled.
We stepped into milliner shop the
other day Oh business, says Western
Joker, and accidently sat down on II
bonnet that some one had laid on
the chair. We remained there until
no one was looking in our direction and
then quietly got up and stepped to one
side There was u lady i'll ut the time
looking for bonnet shaped to suit her.
She finally found the one we had put IN
shape and il just took her fancy; it was
| Just what She wanted, so she said.
Eating is Torture,
Ana sIrep ofteIl il mere traycstv ~ rppose to the