The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1878-02-27
On the Cars
fBurdette in the Hawkeye.l

This has been a very eventful journey.
Events and incidents have crowded on eacn
others heels with such rapidity that have
been scarcely able TO catch my breath be.
tween them. 1t is remarkable how things
do happen. 1t is more remarkable, some
times, how they don't happen. II all the
things that never do happen should happen,
what bonanza it would be for the newspa
pers. love TO sit in the car and hear my
fellow men talk. At this moment, and for
many miles past, l am seated behind two
young people and in front of two old people.
The young people are talking theology. The
young mans name is Jim. Tho young lady
calls him so. He has read IngersolP latest.
He believes it. She is shocked. He avows
his daring infidelity. She is specifies with
horror He believes everything that Colonel
Ingersoll says. He looks upon him as a man
inspired. gather from his enthusiastic re-
marks that he believes Colonel Ingersoll
made the world in six days and rested on
the seventh. / find this belief is very preva-
lent among the young men of the day. 1t is,
however, a mistake. Ancient manuscripts
have recently been discovered, from which
it appears highly probable that the world
was here several months before Colonel In
gersoll happened.
From the two females back of us, who
have been visiting in Ottumwa for a week
past, l am cleaning a great deal of family
gossip The only drawback 10 information
acquired in this way is that il is fragmentary
ana unsatisfactory, and is mingled with q
devouring curiosity. For instance, one OF
the ladies has informed her companion and
everybody else in this part of the car, mag
is breaking fast; she isn't the woman she
was years age" And we are just crazy 10
know who Mag is now; If she isn't the woman
she was; and furthermore, what woman she
used to be. And we want to know what she
is breaking. Her husbands heart? His
head, more likely. Broken-hearted hus
bands don't grow on every bush. They went
out of society with the last dodo.
And then we are told, lit is put off again,
Ellen's marriage" and our informant says
in a confidential shrek that browns the roal
of the cars, that "she wouldn't be bit sur
prised if it was off this time for all and
! good" And l am just devoured with curl
/ osity again. Ellen who? Who was she
/ going to marry? And for what did they
postpone the wedding this timer And why
| didn't they get married the first time? Ole
! gentleman flare up? Bridegroom too poor
/ Wedding dress not finished? Bridegroom
/ first wife suddenly turn up and raise cir
/ Gus? I'd like to bet a dollar that ElleI
/ doesn't get married atall. And why should
! she? Hasn't she got some big, lazy brother
/ she can support, without getting husband
| Ellen, you stay at home. There are no goOC
men in the world now. Manageable men
| that is. l Just know that that fellow ElleI
was going to marry is great, fiat footed lout
I who is afraid of his wifes mother; his hai
won't part straight, mis- clothes don't fit him
I he snores, his breath is bad and he has colo
| feet. What under the canopy did Ellen eve
want to marry him for anyhow
/ All, All, patience always brings its own re
ward. The conversation has changed.
recognize the names of the people nov
I under discussion as friends of mine in OF
/ tumwa. Oh, delightful treat! | shall hea
! something mean about my friends.
| Those provoking women. They said moth
/ ing but good of them.