The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-03-01
SUNBEAMS.

The blacksmith, no matter how well he Is
paid, is always on strike.
Don't linger where "your love lies dream
ing" Wake her up and tell her to get the
breakfast.
tits sad moment for a bachelgr when he
finds that his hair is so thin that he is un-
able to hold pen back of his ear.
A commercial exchange gives the startling
intelligence that "dresSed hogs are moving
briskly to the seaboard Market
Said man in a street car "Don't forget
the baby; give my love to him" " said the
other man, evidently Londoner, "E amt
i'm, 'e's a 'er."
The best way to discourage boil is to
seek right slippery place on the pave
ment, and then when the boil amt looking,
come down on it-hop.
"Do they ring two bells for SCHOOL,"
asked father of his ten-year-oh daughter,
who attends high school, mo, pa, they
ring one bell twice." she replied.
"Have you a suit of clothes here to fit
large body of water?" 'sNo, but we can
send you needle and thread with which to
sew potato patch on the pants of tired
dog"
Mixed Rslationship-"TelI me, auntie,
why you are my aunt " because your
father is my brother" s"Then, for in
stance, was my father my uncle before he
got married."
What time is it?'' inquired one police
men of another last night "Don't know;
amt got a watch" 'FYou've been on the
force three months haia't you?" '"Then
yer disgrace to the business"
He ran three squares after what he
thought was street-car light; and, after he
got out of breath he laid down on the door
step, disgusted to find out that it was only
lig ghtning bug on his spectacles.
A bright little girl, having been asked to
write sentence introducing the word car
rion," presented the following to her teach
er: "Bad children often carrion in church,
when they ought 10 keep quiet"
An Indiana girl at Vassar College writes
to her parents: "This is the most stylish
hair-pin of boarding school ever tumbled
to. can eat four times day if want to,
and get fair whack at the hash every
time"
"Sally, what have you done with the
cream? These children cannot eat skim
milk for breakfast" "Sure, ma am, it
isn't mesilf that would be afther giving
the scum to yez. ! TUX that and gave 1t to
the cats.
An exchange says Lord Macauley
made it rule to pay all bills within
twsnty-four hours Of course that
means twenty-four hours after he got the
money to pay them with. The rule is an
excellent one, and should be initiated.
Where did this baby come from ?" asked
three-year-old girl of the nurse, who was
washing the squealing little stranger
"Why, from heaven, of course,' replied
the nurse. "Well, if it screamed like that
there, don't wonder they sent it off, was
the stunning rejolnder.
A few evenings since an up town woman
heard some one at the front door at mid
night. Hastily going to the door, anG
thinking ither son Sammy she called out
"No," was the reply; "it amt yer Psalm
but some other woman's Hymn. Gut 'el
wrong (hic) house, ole 'ooman."
A major in the United States army was
crossing from England in one Of the Gun.
ard steamers, when one afternoon band OF
deck played Yankee Doodle" A gruf
Englishman, who stood by, inquired
whether that was the tune the old COW died
of. "Not at ALL retorted the major; "tha
| is the tune that the old Bull died Of"
| A kind-hearted clergyman asked con
vict how he came TO be in Jail. The fellow
said, with tears in his eyes, that he wa
coming home from prayer meeting, ane
sat down to rest, fell asleep, and while he
; was asleep there the county built the jai
around him, and when he awoke the jailel
refused to let him out.
"Father, did Casca, who helped to xii
, julius Caesar, own great many houses?'
"No, nay dear, not that'I know of. VIVA
makes you think so?" Because, father
am reading here where it says "See wha
''rent" the envious Casca made" 10,
was in that fathers countenanee, and the
mother looked delighted at the wisdom
of her only child.
A man in church fair who had fifty
cent bowl of oyster stew, suddenly rose il
great excitement and begun to pull off hi!
coat and vest. "Why do you do thst?'
asked the pious frau--lady who took tht
fifty cents" "Why, great heavens'' ht
cried, "there is a little oyster away down
in there, and I'm going to dive for it. F"
The following is the copy Of a label from
! bottle of medicine supplied by a firm 0
,, druggists in Cork, Ireland:-"Caution: II
all medicines for outward application thi
, label is attached to the bottles, in order t.
! distinguish it from others for internal use
) but persons unable to read should not b.
f allowed to administer medicines and never
give or take dose without first perusinl
the label"
A farmer who had sent bale of cottol
to warehouse instructed merchant II
have the same sold. The merchant com
piled with the request, and the staple wa
disposed of. The farmer, upon examining
| EAa.,,