davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-05-02
HUMOROUS.

THEIR HIGH NosEs.-He wore sheen
skin mittens, had his pants in his boots,
and he covered his horses with old
pieces Of rag carpet, and entered A hard
ware store and asked to look at a sheet
iron stove. He was shown several
patterns, one after the other, but none
seemed 10 exactly suit his ideas.
81 have shown you every style Of
parlor stove on sale by any house I'm
Detroit" said the dealer rs they stood
before the last one.
ayes, | s'pose so, but none o. them
quite fills the BILL" was the dubious
answer.
"Why not2 Aren't they big enough,
tall enough, handsome enough, or what
Is the troubled"
"Waal, I'll tell you," slowly replied
the would-be customer. 1.-The old
woman she takes a story paper, and her
head Is chuck full OF such names as
Eyangeline, Emilena, Maud, Arabella
and Riverbell. The gals they read
Shakespeare, and they are all the
time talking about Hamlet, Claudius.
Petruchlo, Romeo, and soon. I'm kinder
postin' up on astronomy myself, and
Pm all the time thinkin' about Venus,
Mars, Saturn and Jupiter. Now, you
havn't got a stove in the lot with a
more romantic name than Ajax and
just imagine folks like US sittin' around
a stove with a plug name like thatl"
He thought he'd look further, and as
he unhitched his team he called out:
"WhOa, now, Lady Estella-stand
around there, Othellol"
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-05-02

RUsK.-Boil aud mash two good-slzed
potatoes, n quart of rich milk, one
compressed yeast cake, dissolved, and
-four to make a stiff batter; mix at
noon; in the evening, when quite Light,
rub together one half pound of sugar,
One-quarter pound butter, and beat very
light TWO eggs; stir these in the batter
with one half grated nutmeg; mold up
soft, put in a warm place, and when
quite light break off pieces about the
size of an egg, form them into small
cakes, laying them closely together in
the pan; when very puffy was over the
top with a little sweetened milk; bake
in moderately quick oven.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-05-02

To HEAL A CUT.-Without waiting
for it to stop bleeding press the edges of
the lacerated flesh together, and apply
Immediately a plaster made of SCOT and
cream, binding it firmly on, not to be
removed till healed; without cleanli-
ness requires it. Then put another of
the same on, without delay, not allow
ing exposure to the air any more than
possible to prevent.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-05-02

A SLIGHT MIsTAKE.-A well known
minister of New Orleans, walking along
the street In that city, a few days since,
met a lady for whom he had recently
performed the marriage service. De-
string to enc the acquaintance (for
the lady had greatly Interested him at
the time,) he accosted her with the re-
mark:
"Madam, did | not have the pleasure
of marrying you a few days sinceP"
81 was L.arrled a few days since,
SIR"
Eyes, | thought l was not mistaken;
| married you.
"Indeed! Well, | thought my hus-
band was a much younger man than
you are, but have not seen enough of
him to make his acquaintance thor.
oughly. By the way, my dear, my
chignon is getting shabby; please give
me some money to buy a waterfall"
Evidently this was more than he
b%argained for, and, with a hasty bow,
accompanied with the remark, "NO,
you are not the lady-I'm mistaken"
he took his leave.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-05-02
CARRIER Pigeons.

WHEN does a man remind you of a
funeralP When he's a coughin'.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-05-02
DR. G. wv. nENS0N's CELERY 9 CHAMO

are prepared expressly TO cure sick
Headache, Nervous Headache, Dyspeptic Headache,
Neuralgia, Nervousness and Sleeplessness, and will
cure any case. Price SOC, postage free. Sold by all
Druggists. Office No. LOG n. Eutaw ST., Baltimore
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01
wu,LIAMCUI.LEN BRYANT.

The public will be grstifed TO learn Of
the improved condition of this venerable
and distinguished citizen, as conveyed to
US by telegraph this morning. Mir.
BRYANT WAS eighty-three years old on
3rd of November last, and has carried
his years wonderfully. Many men 8
quarter OF q century his Juniors have
much less elasticity and energy than he
had manifested up to the tire OF his sCci-
dent. He hsd given his strength severe
test by sitting for long while exposed
to the rays of the sun, and this brought
on an stack of syncope.
Though two years younger than Earl
RUSSELL, Mr.. BRYANT's public career
may be said to have antedatcd tina. Of the
British statesman, which began in 1913
When a boy Ct ten in his birthplace,
Cummington, Mass, he published trans-
lahons from the Latin poets; wrote the
Embargo at thirteen, and had hardly
reached manhood when he contributed
his Thanatopa;s to The NorH AmG7can
Rerie,o. lie adopted literature as pro
fession when he quilted the practice Of
law in 1925, and his connection with
journalism rs editor of the New ! ork
Eccnng Post has lasted Gfty-two years
The Longest lives must end at last, but
every one will be glad if the poets green
old age shall be continued for q decade
moro.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01

THERE is more fun in an ounce Of KIT
ten than ton of elephant.
SENATOR j. B. GoRDoS Will deliver
the Fourth Of July Grafton at Evans
vile, Indiana. Mr.. Hayes will be pre-
sent
No NAN under the tank of colonel
can be elected superintendent of Mis-
sissippi Sunday school, although now and
then Judge slips through.
A DEVOTED husband says that the
phonograph is simply 3 machine that
"talks back" and he has had one of that
kind in his house ever since he was mar
ricd.
JOHN G. Fremont, JR., has been fol-
lowing in the footsteps 0. his fathers, the
Pathfinder, and marrying young l"dy
by stealth so TO speak The bride is a
Miss Anderson of Washington. Young
Fremont is an ensign in the navy.
'Mistres5 Muldoyney, it was this bless
oil mint that ever was, l list went around
the cor-r-ner tor quarter Of tea, an LUX
at the eye l gotl"
81 hope this is not counterfeit" said a
lover as he toycd with his swccthcsrts
hand. "Tho best was TO find on. Is TO
ring it," was the quick reply
A YOUNG Oil Clifton calls his girl
Revenge, because she is swee..-Derrick.
PENITENTIARIEs should be made cas-
Ter of access for embezzors. Chicago
Journal.
LET Keely use Minnesota flour for his
power and his motor will be all right
Boston POST
NOTHING but time can keep up with
the indicator on u gas motor Cincinnati
breakfast Yajie.
Two heads are better than one" said
the thief rs he crawied out Of the cabbage
patch.-Derrick.
a SHOE dealer in Rochester advcrtisas
The Tllton Shoe" 1t must be white
soed.- Utica Observer.
A-GRIP PA, mentioned in the Scrip
lures must have been masonic CXcla-
nation Port Chester JourHaI.
DON'T spank your children with the
booliack. 1t is too hard to hold, and is
apt to make bunions on your thumb
Hascskye,
The photograph is destined to do
awsy with Jealousy IN the church choir,
by abolishing the choir.-Ciacmnati Sat
ltrday Night
Hail, gentle spring ethereal mildness,
Thus quIotn the poet, and his prayer pre-.
vailed,
For scarcely had he turned his Tyre to
sing
Before the weather altered. and it hailed
HIsToRICUs-You are right. Lsumer
was burned at the stake. But it was not
because be owned flute. Let Us be just
and lair and hOaest IN all things. He
was only learning to play the cornet.-
Puck.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01
POTTER AND STEPHENS.

These two gentlemen have both been
public men for some years. Mr.. STE
PHENs dates back quite Ions way, and
his career has been both honorable and
brilliant; he has served his country faith
fully, and he will doubtless leave behind
HIM name that will be held in high es-
limation by mis- countrymen. But just
now we tear that Mr.. STEPHENS
is IN the role of an alarmlst.
He has allowed the spectre Of
bloody revolution to upset his
mental equilibrium, and the horrors
OF another war are so visible to his
minds eye that he Is disposed to
DISPLAY want OF that calm, clear
judgement and a lack of that concise
logic for which be has become justly cel"-
bratcd
The resolution of Mr.. POTTER to invos-
tigste fraud, not TO a reasonable mind
step from which VIC must necessary
plunge into anarchy. If our friends on
the opposite side of the question will
view this matter with calmness ard
fairness they will see into what an absurd
and illogical position they will be ul'i-
malely driven by acknowledging that it
is too dangerous, too revolutionary to de-
toct and expose fraud in tins country.
We feel sure that the best elements OF the
Republican party have no desire to oc-
cupy any such ground, and of all men IN
that party, Mr.. HAYES is the very last
who could afford to be in that position.
The country is pretty thoroughly
convinced that in the last Presidential
contest, gigantic frauds were committed,
and it Is the scope of PoTTER's resolu-
tion to find out where, and by whom
these frauds were committed, and TO hold
up the guilty parties to public view, and
if the law has been violated let the law
vindicate It's own honor. A country so
law abiding US ours, so unlike Mexico
ought TO be able to execute its own laws
without producing revolution
as the result. There ought
to be among our political
leaders a sufficient amour: of confidence
in the good sense of the conservative ele.
ment of our people, in their law abiding
character, to dispcl these often expressed
fears of anarchy. The general belief Of
sexual completely in fraud does not we
t1lnk, extend to Mr.. HAYES himself
still if he obtained the office through
tle fraud of others, it is GER
tainly proper that those psrtici-
pants should be brought to light
and rendered incapable OF repeating
their ofense at the first opportunity.
The political agitators will, Of course,
use Mr.. POTTER and Mr.. STEPHENS as 3
sort of battledore and shuttleCock, and
will make much capital, in q small wsy,
out of those gentlemen, but we have
much confidence in the good, hard, sober
sense Of the better classes among
our people. and we don't pro-
pose to raise the cry of havoc,
unless much more solid reasons than those
which we know Of at present, should be
made known to US. If every man who
plunders bank is to have the privilege
of scoring the sherlffs officer and stop
ping pursuit by proclsiming as he runs:
mReyolutionP' we had IS we'll be wlthOu.
the:forms:of law, especially those which
offer protection against thieves.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01

WE have always said that there was
no class of the community whose sense
of honor and justice was stronger than
that Of the worklngmsr, who honestly
tolls for his daily bread. a story which
is an excellent example Of the truth OF
this, is going the rounds of the English
press. A short time ago an angry mob
broke number of windows in the house
Of Mr.. GLADSTONE, and the papers said
that the damage would amount to
E3 los. 4 few days st.erward Mr..
GLADSTONE received badly written
letter from workingman enclosing the
exsct sum. The writer SAID he and his
family were so ashamed of the breaking
of the windows by anyone calling them
SELVES workiDgmen, that they had scraped
the money together to pay for the loss.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01
A HORRIBLE AFFAIR IN CINCIN'
NATL


In our telegraphic columns yesterday
morning, we published short dispatch
concerning the stealing OF the body oil
Hon. j. SCOTT HARRISON, al North Bend,
Indiana, fifteen miles from Cincinnati.
Later intelligence shows that it was one
of the most CHASTITY and horrible affairs
on record.
Several days ago young man named
DEvIN was buried in the cemetery at
North Bend. On Wednesday afternoon
Mr.. HARRISON was buried, and 1t was
discovered that the grave of DEvIN bad
been opened and his body stolen.
Hoping to find the body
before the widowed mother
of the young man heard the terrible
news, Mr.. JoHN HARRISON, son Of the
Hon. j. S. HARRISON, started shortly
after his fathers funeral, with MIR.
EATON, for Cincinnati, intending to
search the medical colleges for the mis-
sing corpse. They arrived on "Wednesday
night, and obtaining search warrant
they took several detectives with them
and started on Thursday morning
GA their mission. They went to
the Ohio Medical College, and were told
by the iauitor that there wss no body
there. After careful search they came
| to the conclusion that the man had told
the truth, bat one of the detectives no.
ticcd thst the rope attached to wind
lass which was over the hoist-way used
for bringing bodies from tic cellar up
into the dissocting room, was stretched
tightly, and he said that II
might be well TO find what
was at the other end. Accordingly they
hauled up the rope and soon brought into
sight body covered with n cloth. JOHN
HARRISON said, THAT is the body OF an
old man, VIC are in search OF Il young
one" One of the party replied, "NeVer
mind, well see who it is" and the corpse
was brought up and laid upon
the noor.i Mr.. EATON lifted the
cloth witt! his walking stick and
JONI HARi IsoN throwing up his hand;
with wild. scream, cried out, "My God,
that is my i;.ther.'.
The situstion can scarcely be realizcdi
its horror almost froze the blood of the
lookers-on. Here was q young man, who
out of kindly charity for II widow was
looking for the stolen body Of her son.
suddenly finding that of MS father which
he had seen buried not twenty hours be
fore in South Bend, in = vault
which had been bricked in and covered
with several tons of stone slabs. The
body had been hanging with its arm:
tied across the breast and the rope care
lessly looped around the neck. In the
meantime CARTER HARRIsoS, brother Of
JOHN, had discovered that the grave had
been robbed, and came to Cincinnati
where he met his brother. lie eXciaim-
ed, "JouN they've stolen fathers body
and JoHN said at the same instant
Garter I've found fathers boiy."
Several arrests have been made, and
close investigation will be made.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01

SENATOR DAVIS and his daughter
KATIE, and Hon. j. y. CAMDEN with
his daughter ANNIE, will ssill from New
York for Europe, this afternoon. Their
many friends throughout the State will
wish them pleasant voyage and safe re
turn.
Mr.. DAVIS is paired upon all political
questions with CHAFFEE and with other
Senators upon such other questions as
are likely to be acted upon during the
few days :omsIning before adjournment.
The River AID Harbor Bill has been
reported 20 the Senate with all of the
West Virginia items which were placed
on it in the House, and this Is about
equivalent to its passage through that
body.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01

OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES AT 1 o'clock p. NJ.
Mr.. MICHAEL DEBoLD, i'm his SD year, at
.IlnayIllC, ohio.
Funeral from his late residence, Satur.
day, June LIST, at o'clock p. N. Intcrmcnt
at Mt. Calvary cemetery.
MErZ-On Friday, May 81, 1873, at :
O'Clock A. NJ, RACHEL METZ. aged go years
months and y days.
Funeral from the residence OF Henry C..
Metz, No. 1920 Jacob street, tomorrow
afternoon at o'clock. Friends OF the
family are invited to attend. lntermcnt
at Mt. Zion cemetery.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01

WHY is It that the New York Repub-
licans raise such howl about the invcs-
ticstion in the Presidential fraud2 Have
they the slightest particle of consistency
or of msnliness? In the last Republican
State Convention the following resolution
WAS defeated by vote of 295 to lO9
Resolred, That the lalDftA title of Ruth
criord b. Hayes to the Presidency Is as
clear and perfect as that of George Wash
ington.
Such things as this are not easily for
gotten.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01

The Democrats in favor OF Banning S
Army bill struggled hard, on Saturday
to reduce the pay of army officers, but
no one made y motion to reduce the
salaries of useless Congressman, although
several Republicans suggested that such
course would be eminently proper
Philadelphia Press.
What did those several Republicans
suggest some years ago when the price
OF Congressional labor was raised IN
Republican House, and "back pay was
added 10 it2
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01
Cnastc nsEcc, and Pure nv SNOW,

The fragrant SoZodont is scientific
composition Of the purest and choicest
ingredients Of the Oriental vegetable
kingdom. Every ingredient is well
known to have . beneficial clcc. on the
teeth and gums. 1t removes AL disa.
greeublc odors, even that Of tobacco. 1t
speedily removes those rayagcs which
children sustain in their teeth, owing TO
improper use Of sweet and acid articles,
which Imperccptibly destroy them.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01
Slow Town.

From she Louisville COurier-Journal.
If Father Noah had sent in petition
to the Louisville Council for permission
to build his boat, the good old man would
have been drowned with the rest. Any
petition concerning the present genera
ton Is useless parchment, the business
of the previous generation being still on
hand
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01

Col. BEN. WILSON talks to the read
ers of the REGISTER, this morning
through our representative in Washing
ton. on the financial situation. He Is OF
the opinion that there has been too much
lcci.lstion in one direction and that a
hearty Job of repeating would be whole
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01

A. AYRSHIRE, ESQ., one Of the proprie-
tors Of the Ayrshire -four mills at CALI
polls, was in the city yesterday or bust
ness in connection with the mills he
represents, He predicts that wheat is
going to be a good deal lower before it
gets higher, and he thinks that the first
offerings for new wheat will be as low as
90 cents.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01
A Truly Ridiculous FIoppcr.

From he Philadelphia Times.
Ths: ordinarily quiet old man, Senator
Howe, is truly ridiculous topper. He
insugurated the fraud campaign with his
little chin some weeks ago, but it has got
away from him, and as il threatens lo
bouncr Howe'3 party in general of the
seat, Howe Is doing his feeble best to
sion II.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01

IN THE DISTRICT COURT OF THE
| United States, for the District OF West
Virginia, in Bankruptcy in the matter OF
w. r. Peterson, bankrupt.
Notice is hereby given that petition
has been filed in said District Court by W,
+. Peterson. OF Wheeling, in said district,
who has been duly declared a bankrupt
under the revised statutes of the United
States, title .'Raukruptcy," for 70 discharge
ana and certificate thereof rom all his
deb's and other claims provatIc under
said act, and that the l7tG day Of June, \.
D.I,-,. al IT, o'clock A. ", a, the office OF
I, J. HugUS, Esq so. y iup stairs Twelfth
street, in the city o. Wheeling, West Nir.
gIuia, are the time and place assigned for
the hearing of the same, when and where
YOU may attend and show cause II any
you have why the prayer Of said petition
should not be granted.
JASPER v. MOORE,
Clerk OF the [. :. District Court tor sail
District. nalSOaWsa
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01

OUR Wellsburg correspondent men,
toned in yesterdays REGISTER, the pur-
chase of small lot of wool, by Mr.. 5
GEORGE, an extensive buyer at that place,
at 3S cents. This seems to DO the start
ing figure all around this year.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01

GEORGE ALFRED TOWNSEND held q
protyacted interview with HAYES on
Thursday. The important fact was
elected that HAYES does not approve OF
the POTTER investigation.
l. is believed that JoHN SHERMAN
holds similar opinion.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01
Mr. AndtrsOu's Identity,

" UoUIUSIUH IVTI'
Anderson is one OF the editors OF the
Philadelphia North Amer7cln, hiss red
head. drinks too much whisky, knows
Murkes and met John Sherman down at
New Orleans at a Quadroon ball.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01

AFTER all that has been sand about
"swocping reductions" the Grand Cen
tra is the only iirst-clsss hotel in New
Yorl, that has made sweeping reduc-
ton" 1t offers frst-class accommodation
for $3.50 and $500 per day.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01

The Baltimore Gazette referes to the
individual who tempered with our grand
mother EVE in the Garden OF Eden, as
the Visiting Statesman from the Sulphur
District.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01
A TERRIBLE DISASTER At SEA

Another marine disaster, moro horn
bic IN the destruction Of human life than
those which took place this Spring, of
the CO.'S. of North Carolina, occurred
yesterday in the British Channci. The
flag ship of q German squadron Of iron.
clsds, the Grosscr Kcrlcust, came in COL
Iision with another ship Of the same
squadron, tho King William, and sunk
in the short space Of five minutes,
her boilers exploding in the meantime.
Accounts rs to the number Of lives lost
differ, some placing it as high rs four
hundred and forty; the latter estimates,
however, place the number st q much
lower figure.
Pretty full particulars Of the terrible
accident come TO US by cable, and are
printed IN another part of the REGISTER
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01

WE learn that Hon. THOMAS MARTIN,
of Moorefeld, is lying dangerously i'll at
his home, Of, indeed, he is Lot already
dead and that all the members OF his
family were summoned to his bedside on.
Thursday.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01

THERE is . lie out in the vicinity Ct
the White House. GEORGE ALFRED
TOWNSEND says he interviewed HAYES
at Gettysburg, and proceeds to give
what the distinguished fraud said. But
HAYES now denies The whole matter and
SAYS he was not interviewed at all. We
won't undertake to decide this question
of veraclty between these distinguished
Republicans.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01
Bob IngcrsoH's IncOnsisIency

From the Nashville American.
Colonel Bob Irgersoll lavors Grant for
PrcsdentIn 1880. It's little incOnsls-
tent in man whose svowcd mission is
the abolition Of hell.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-06-01
MONDAY, JUNE Bird,
Prnnnsals for Convict labor.

CEALED PROPOSALS WILL BE RE
- ccived by the undersigned until Y
o'clock NJ, on Saturday, 2Jth June, 1873,
for the hire OF from nifty 800 to one hun
bred QOU cOuvicts Tor n term OF not exceed
irg tivc ,5D years. Each bid snail specify
the articles proposed 10 be Manufactured,
and the number OF square feet OF shop
room which will be required aud If steam
power is required, the amount OF power
and the price per dav they are willing TO
pay therefor. The price per day for each
convict shall be specified, and II diiler-
ent price per day Is stated Tor different
periods, each period and price must bc so
stated tuat one may be accepted and the
other rejected. II the person bidding de-
sires to manufacture different classes OF
articles, the labor 10 be employed on each
class must be bid for separately.
Each bid must be accompanied with a
bond, with surcJios TO the satisfaction of
the Board of Directors, that the bidder
will comply with the terms OF the ibid, II
il is accepted, and be sealed up and adj
dressed 10 The Supcuu teudent, endorsed
"Bids for Labor" WM. /. Bridges,
superintendent,
MoUNDsvILLE, w. VA, May ., 1875.