davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-15
WHOLE NO. li0l.
Heavy Gans

/ The sort Of ordance used in the
American navy would not avail much
il a war with any Of he great Euro
pean powers. The heaviest of our
guns weigh but 1900 pounds; their
muzzle velocity is l $50 feet per sec
Ond with solid projectile Of 40
pounds. At our late Centennial ex-
hibition a magnificent display by the
celebrated German gun manuiactur-
er, Herr Krupp, Of Essen, attracted
every ones attention. The largest
of the guns had fred a LAG pound
shell at a velocity Of 1881 feet per
second, with a striking force of 2l,-
295 in foot tons. More powerful
eannons than these are now in Eng
lands possession. No later than
last month she purchased from Sir
William Armstrong four l00ton
guns, each one Of which is capable CT
sending i 1900 pound projeetile
through 81 iDehes of iron plate plsc-
ed at distance Of 1000 yards At
distance Of a mile they would pen
citrate the thickest armor aaoat Eng
land was not very forward in these
impliments of war until she learned
that Italy was placing l00-tou guns
upon her ships, and that they would
break down the armor Of any Of
England's ironclads. Then, in order
to keep up the reputation of the Eng
lish war feet as being the best in the
world, these pieces were purchased.
Exclusive of the gun-carrirge,
Herr Krupp charges 100000 for
one cannon Of the above description,
and be is at work now manulactur-
ing a steel breech-loader Of l24 tons,
whose calibre will exceed half q
yard, calculated to throw q shot
weighing a ton, requiring a charge
Of 500 pounds of powder. For this
gun be will charge 500, GOO. The
cost Of purchasing such weapon,
mounting it, and then of paying its
running expenses for powder, balls,
etc, in war time will be simply enor-
nous. Only the Wealthiest powers
viii be able to keep up such war
fleets. Some time ago krupP pro-
posed TO the English Government to
lend them q gun for $4,000, requir-
ing also that 10 case it was a success,
England should give ten million
dollar order for similar pieces And
he gave as a reason for this last con
dition that be had TO carry cot such
an immense number of stly exper-
iments. unaided by Gjvernment
grants, to perfect bis b.. ch-lcsders
that be was not disposed 10 furnish
one to the English for them 60 use
as model for future construction.
Ii will be seen by the above that
the navy Of the United Stat is
hardly worthy Of the name. as COM
pared 1ith the magnifciently equip
ped war feet of England. 1t is no
longer personal question Of bravery
in time Of war, but that nation wins
which possesses the most powerful
armament, the best equipped nav Y
or army. The Prussian needle-gbn
assisted largely in the success Of the
Germans in their late war in France.
1t costs immense sums to make war
nowadays. Money has to be she'd
as freely as blood used to be in the
old times-PWsburg Dispatch
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-15
Irish Humor.

The drawer is indebted to friend
in Colorado for the following, which
was related 20 him BY q Catholic
priest, Father II, who in bis
mission work in Southern Colorado
and New Mexico met with many ex-
traordinary people and incidents. On
one occasion be happened to hold
service in small out-of-the-way
chapel, where the varied duties OF
jsnitor were discharged by g gentle
man of Irish descent. During he
service a child was brought forward
for baptism. 1t may not be gener-
ally known that in the Roman Cath
Ollie ritual the priest, before touch
ing the child with water, puts lit
tie salt into the water in tire pres
enee Of the congregation. The jani-
tor, however, had prepared the water
beforehand, according to his own
idea as to the proportion Of salt, when
the priest, having omitted to place
the salt in readiness, whispered TO
his attendant:
"Pat, viii you please to get the
salt ?"
Pat responded in an audible whis-
per from behind his hand:
Surs, an put il in already"
[ FatherH sot fully under
standing, repeated his whispered
request.
Again Pat replied more audibIy
than before, and with a slight dud-
geOn in his tone:
Sure an | put it in; | tell ye"
"But the ritual demands that the
priest should perform the ceremony
before the congregation" exclaimed
Father Il, considerably an
moved at the ianitor's obstinacy.
The IFishman procured the salt,
and handing it to the priest, and
electrified him, as we'll as the con
gregstion, with the remark, deliver
ed in surly grOwl
Here ye are; beJad We can make
a pickle Of it if you want to.-Hor-
per'S NegdziRe.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-15

Burke, in his history Of Virginia,
says. II End that the Governor was
obliged soon after to issue q procla-
nation fOrbiddiug women to con
tract themselves to two several en-
at one time. For women being vet
scarce and much in request, this Of
fence was becoming very common,
whereby great disquiet arose between
parties, and no small trouble to the
Government 1t was therefore or
derec: That every minister should
give notice to his church that what
woman soever should use any word
or speech tending to a contract of
marriage to several persons at one
time, although not precise and legal,
yet 50 as might entangle or breed
scruple in their consciences, should,
for such offence, either undergo cor
poral correction OF be punished by
fine or otherwise, according to the
quality OF the person so offenaed
Although the supply of women is
not so limited as it was when the law
was in force. we have no doubt there
are many young fellows in Farmville
who would like to see it re-enaeted
Farmrilie (Ya Mercury.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-15
a Rosy future.

They were in tie hell tower OF
the city hall yesterday, and she lean
ed her yellow haired head on his ag-
ricultural shoulders and listened tc
the mighty "tick tick tick J" of the
big clock
ave don't want such a big clock
as that, do we, darling?" she whis-
pered.
"No, my little daisy" be answer.
ed, as he hugged her little closer;
81 kin buy clock for two dollars
which'll run three days to this clocks
two. I've got her picked out al
ready"
We'll be very, very happy" she
sighed.
"You bet we will Pve figured it
right fine, snd | believe we can live
on twelve eggs, one pound of sugar,
ten pounds Of flour, and one pound
of butter"
"Aud you'll have bank ACCOUNT
she pleaded.
a will. even il l have to buy a
secondhand one"
"And will you keep coacbmah?"
"Yes."
"And have piano ?"
YES, darling"
"And l can have some square pill.
lows, with shams on them"
Eyes, my tulip-yes; We'll sham
every burned thing, from cellar to
garret; have the front door painted
blue and-let's go'n look at some
second hand cook stoves!n
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-15

An Irish Munchsusen has turned
up at Boston restaurant in tht
humble capacity Of a writer. A
guest who has been served with 8
small lobster:
ADO you call that a lobster
Mike ?"
"Faix, l believe they do be callin
thin Holsters here. sure. We cal
'em crabs at home"
"0h :" said the diner, "you have
Holsters in Ireland ?"
as it Holsters? BegoIrs, the creek
is full of 'em. Many a time I've
seen 'em when | laped over the
sthrsmes.
:'How long do Holsters grow in
Ireland?r
"Well." said Nike thought
fully, "to sphake widin bounds, sur
I'd say matter Of at least FIVE or six
feet"
What. Five or six feet How
do they get around in those small
creeks "
Bedad, sur, the creeks in Ireland
are fifty or sixty feet wide" said
Mike.
"But." asked tbs guest, "you said
you had seen them when you leaped
over the streams, and Holsters here
live in the sea-"
''Sure, ! did, sur; we're powerful
leapers in Ireland As for the say,
sur, I've seen it red with 'em."
"But, look here, my fine fellow
said the guest, thinking that be had
cornered Mike at last, "lobsters are
not red until they are boiled"
"Don't | know that ?" said Mike,
But there are bilin' springs in the
ould country, aud they swim
through them. and come out all read Y
fur We to crack open and ate 'em.n
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-15
Decided af Last.

They have funny lawsuit in
West Stratford. A resident owned
a hen Of fancy breed that strayed
upon a neighbor's premises asd laid
a nest full ofeggs Another hen, be-
longing to the owner Of the land,
took possession of the nest and hatch
ed the eggs. Then the two neigh
bors get into wrsngle about the
chickens. They were sold by No z
to a third party, whereupon No. i
got out writ Of replevin and the
case was tried few days sgo with
able counsel and many witnesses
The court decided that the hen that
hatched the eggs was the legal
mother and dismissed the repleyin
suit
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-15
Cattle In Texas.

Texas beef, always inferior to the
last degree, is just now worse than
ever, because the cattle have been
starving through the latter part of
the winter on dead grass. While the
country is rapidly settling up and
the raDges cOrrespondingly decreas-
ing, the number Of cattle to subsist
upon them is rapidly increasing.
The habit has been never to feed the
stock any corn or hay whatever, to
help them through the winter be-
tween the perishing Of the old grass
and the coming of the new. Those
that cannot tide over the crisis on
dead Grass are allowed to die.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-15

VLGORINE
L. kGaEEABI.E 90 She taste, CRATE
EULsothe stomach, nd acts efficiently
ns y CATTIARTIC. Alternative and
DfURETIC. It's action l. not attended
with any unpleasant feeling, neither is
Eangour nor debility cEEerieucsd. but
on tise contrary, refrcs5imcnt and In
vigoration.
Its inmes. int G C. czScct uI5oE tbo digestive
organs, Bs,vvhefher ina pa fred n } d5sea sc or
exhausted from aH y esusc, to incrca Sc
their paw OF "a sal i'm Hat Hon n nd uutTi-
tiors, the appetite being Increased at
once. To those affeC ted wish an sugor-
gcd condition OF she liver. rs Bilious
ness, by z, du by compIex-
ion, "a coated tongue "a pasty, bad taste
IN she mouth. q ca prize iOlls appetite Il MI
sluggish action OF the Bowels, with a
sense offullnoss in the head and of IN en-
tai dullneBs, tiGuItESE proves mgst
valuable.
Its effect upon fl;e Kidneys Is no less
happy, n turbid, irritating urine Is
quickly cleared up by is.
lDfiammafoTy and Chronic EHEU-
MATESM VIII sooyl disappear by = per-
sisteDt use OF NEGDEENE.
For the cure OF skin Diseases and
ETuptions OF all kinds, EIGOREIE is
most certain.
VEGOEENE Is composed or the active
properties OF HERES, ROOTS. GINS
and RARKS, that Nature alone fur
uishes. greut care Being taken by us
that they are gathered at the right
feason of titc yCs- r.. and that they possess
their native virtues.
That VIGoRENE hns the power TO
I't RIEA THE BLOOD. TsyIGORATE
the LIVER, an'i STIMULATE sgle Dr.
GESTINE ORGANS. IS indispurab biy
proven by those " ilo have given il n
iTiai 2 nd have been permanently cursd.
We do not ask yoss 20 trS . t,csen hot
t,es 20 experience rel ef Tor We GUAR
AETEE you VIII feel better ggoin The
= Grst few doses.
Ei6oRESE is aston'Fisin the world
with its cures, a nd IS hFoufng all of her
EONfCS. AETERATRNEs q I., fEVIG-
}sANTs. into the .hatc. Pat rp In
i't e bottle, es,dorsiiieEsfrUEGh.R REQUIRES
ftils. II doses. and s. p s.Rsst,t 10 Is iSr
PdiCc, SI.C0 ist- T,oft{s4.
LKER e BADGsR MFG. eG..Prop's,
u Ia &. EaF y.Ii. aaa Jers;ztisg.E &
10. OBJECT OF EATING. % new bcok every
"A show y red t,rt = rro1 20 81 cf ono
ceat Etrl- %. r
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-15
NOTHING IN THE PAPEE


Aunt Polly heaved a sigh and said,
There's nothing In the paper;
Land sakes. the deaeon's oldes. son
Has cut another eaper,
And Susy, DO stop iroaing,
And come here just minute,
Another bank is busted up
WithGranny's money in 1t.
There's nothing in the paper tho,
!. I'm sure Ia run 1t better
Why, here, among the advertisements,
see FOR me letter.
Old Unele Peter Whites dead
They bury him on Sunday
Now, Susy, you can't tend the bali
That's coming on next Monday.
'.The Russians gained a victory,
And coal Is getting higher,
While out in Arkansas see
They've had an awful fire.
And now they're going to pat and end
To old LeMoynes cremation,
For lately it has took the lead,
OFevery tongue and nation"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-15

A Boston paper says: "A butter
fly was caught at the South End,
Yesterday" 1t may be safe enough
to catch butterfly at the south end,
but when you go to grab wasp you
want TO catch it at the northeasterly
end, shifting westerly toward the
head.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-15
She Told Her Love.

A newly married Danbury man
went home the other evening and
found his wife asleep on the lcunge.
He kneeled beside her and devoured
her with his loving eyes.
John" she murmured in her
sleep.
Eyes, my pet. what is it." be whis-
pered, thrilled to bis hearts depth by
the calling Of his name.
"John," she again murmured,
"Sparerib is only nine cents a
pound"
The thrill passed of.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-15

A lady asked her grocer to give her
trade dollar for greenback, saying
she was collecting coins, and at the
same time requesting him to Save a
silver bill for her as soon as they
came out"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-15

He is indeed an afflicted man who
can pass beautiful woman without
for an instant forgetting his sorrows.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-15

A lost tart-The only one leh
in the pantry before a hungry school
boy.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-15

Kansas is settling up. Go thou
and do likewise.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-15

Silver does well enough until IL
gets into mans hair Then he
dves
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-15

In China 100 Cancelled postage
stamps will buy baby.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-15

Prize Fighters also occasionally
strike for wages.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-15

Motto for tramps-Hunger is the
best saw-horse.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-15
MISCELLANEOUS,
ESTABLISHED 1870.

Persons who desire to sell, buy or exchange prop
erty, Tor rent will md it TO their advantage TO
register the description thereof, as no charge is
made unless sold OF rented. Real estate business
generally WILDE promptly attsndsdt).
aag1S:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1878-05-15
The Great New Medicine
VTGOR ANH %

StR-t~~ fs-NS IT'S N-Ns { =
Thns efTec.ualiy caring disease of What
ever name or nature. II Is worthy OF 2
trial. RELIEF guaranteed.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1878-04-18

pathizers. 1t is also claimed that there
were facts connected with the murder of
Col. Gregg which were not developed on
the trial of McEvoy which ought TO Sc
cure his commutation, e not full par
don. As to the latter ground, of course
we cannot tell the merits it may possess,
but the facts ought to be well established
and Of very aggravated nature to JUS
tify setting aside the verdict of the Court
in his case. Of course, it is very much
to be regretted that any human being
has to be hung, but as long as this penalty
is imposed by law upon murderers, it
should be enforced where the case is
made out. There is no use of having
such penalty if it is not to be executed.
If McEvoy can show circumstances to
induce the Governor to extend clemency
to him, the people of the whole State
will no doubt be gratifed, but if he is ex.
ecuted, it will be after the most ample
care and thought has been bestowed
upon his case by the Courts and the
Governor, and the sentence of the law
must stand approved. 80
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1878-04-18
Grange Column.
Under the Supervision of the ExecutiY'
Committee Of Pomona Grange.
Tobacco.

The tobacco crop would be remunera-
tive to limited extent in this section of
country, were it not for some ill-advised
laws of Congress restricting the sale to
"licensed dealers in leaf tobacco" under
a penalty. This is manifestly an unwar-
ranted usurpation of power on the part
of the law makers, under the guise of
regulating trade and commerce. And
while it may have the effect of control
ing the traffic in specific article, and
directing its trade in particular chan
mel, it cripples the native resources of
the farmer, who should be left free to
produce and utilize any crop his land
sill produce most proitably. The pro-
ducer has plat of ground that will pay
him best in tobacco crop, but because
the chest government the world ever
SAW" thinks he should dispose of the
products of his labor, to certain class
of merchants with monopoly of prices,
he has no assurance that he can obtain
for his crop fair compensation. He
must sell to one favored class of mer-
chants at such prices as they may dictate.
He cannot even sell to local consumer,
which would encourage the laborer and
remunerate the toil.worn care of the pro-
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1878-04-18

a few persons would regard this as pros
perity. But it would mt be prosperity
any more than the famine in China is
prosperity. Scarcity is misfortune, be-
cause it means high prices for those who
have to buy; and abundance is good for
tune, for it means cheapness and comfort.
1t is true, there are great many idle
persons in the country-more than there
have been for years-probably more than
there ever were before; and this is mis-
fortune that cannot be overlooked. But
it is a fact, which unquestionable statis-
tics demonstrate, that notwithstanding
the presence Of this great body of unem-
ployed persons, we are supporting our
selves and selling abroad $170,000,000
more values than we buy, showing that
we are paying debts to that amount every
year, whereas eight years ago we were
buying and going in debt for 500, ,0O0, 900
per annum more than We sold. Our
present situation exacts frugality in all
departments of family expenditure but
frugality is q virtue, which, if we will
not learn it one time we must another.
1t is assisting us to get out of debt and
make living at the same time-and
this, if not growing rich, is certainly do
ing well.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1878-04-18
PRIMARY ELECTIONS.

The State Democratic Executive Com.
mittee, at its last meeting, made the fol.
lowing recommendations to the Demo.
cratic party of the State upon the subject
of primary elections, with which all OF
our citizens are familiar from the election
We held to nominate candidates in the
last canvass:
1. Aspirants for the position of candi-
dates should be announced individually
in any mode deemed proper by them
selves or their friends, but should be
placed distinctly before the Democratic
party on their own merits, and not as
the candidate of any organized body of
Democrats.
2. Each aspirans for the position of
candidate, when he accepts the nomina-
ton so made, shall Immediately notify
the County Chairman in writing of the
fact, and in the same communication
state that he is member of some local
club, and subscribe to the following
pledge: 81 agree to abide by and support
the nominations of the Democratic party,
and not to accept either a nomination or
an Office from any other source than the
regularly constituted Democratic organi-
zation."
8. At least five days before the primary
election, the County Chairman shall no.
tify the Democratic Clubs of the aspirants
who have thus qualified themselves for
the position of candidate, and votes cast
for any other person or persons shall not
be counted.
4. On the day fixed for the primary
election, each local club shall hold an
election for candidates of the Democratic
party, and report the result in writing
over the signatures of the managers to
the County Chairman. At this election
none but members of the local clubs
shall vote, and each member before be.
ing allowed to vote shall take the follow
ing pledge: ~ solemnly affirm that am
a duly enrolled member of this Demo-
cratic Club; that have not voted at this
election, and that ! will abide by and
sustain all nominations made by the
Democratic party, whether for Federal,
State or county officers"
5. Upon the following day, the County
Chairman and at least two members of
the County Executive Committee shall
assemble at the county seat, and aggre-
gate the votes reported, and before sun
down declare the candidates selected.
6. No one shall be declared the nomi-
nee of the party unless he shall have re-
ceived a majority of ell the votes cast in
the primary election.
7. Should no candidate for any partic-
ular Office receive majority of the votes
cast, the County Chairman shall so de-
clare, and order second election to COM
plete the nominations in sufficient time
before the general election.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1878-04-18

The recent meeting of the Doctors IN
Greenyille Tas a most pleasant occasion,
and convened large attendance of the
medical fraternity from all parts of the
State. The following officers were elec-
ted for the ensuing two years: President,
DR.. S. s. Marshall, of Greenville; First
Vice President, DR.. F. L. Parker, Charles
ION; Second Vice President, DR.. ]. ].
DuBose, Edgefeld; Third Vice Presi-
dent, DR.. ]. ]. Horton, Kershaw; Cor
responding Secretary, Dr. H. D. Fraser,
Charleston; Recording Secretary, DR.. A.
s. Hydrick, Orangeburg. Delegates to
the American Medical Association: Drs.
F. F. Gary, Abbeville; S. Baruch, Ker-
shaw; W. T. Russell, Spartanburg; ].
#. NJ. Geddings, Charleston; w. H.
Nardin, Anderson George E. Trescot,
Greenville; T. E. Todd, Laurens; Man.
ming Simons, Charleston; ]. NJ. Thomp-
.on, Newberry; w. II. Geddings, Aiken
II. D. Heinitsh, Columbia; o. B. Mayer,
Newberry. Alternates: Drs. J. A. Rob-
inson, Abbeville; T. T. Earle, Green
vile; NJ. J. Dantzler, Orangeburg; II.
ID. Stuart, Beaufort; R. F. Diver, An
tlerson; E. F. S. Rowley, Greenville /;
George Howe, Columbia; j. F. Pearce,
Marion A. A. Moore, Camden; c. H.
I4add, Winnsboro; ]. s. Hughson, Sum-
ter; G. B. Lanneau, Charleston.