South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1878-03-01

tgrA rood Oh darLe,'s favoriie tex
i,r bis boss sarraout at nc camp meet
ia De bigger de coon &c uors &c Fur.
aal sbsr De ole hea scratches dar lies
ne bsg also,
TVCfy Missionary You've never
bah RO father A. yoa knos oa. and you
never go % school. = nevei heard tell Of
thS Bihlsg Nov ct Toe a, L you. sif. where
% yOn expect 70 q to- Small Boy
Please, sat. dunno I've lost my way
How SHE FooLED Hu.-John sand
scripts wife went 10 bel on the night
before the Grst OF April With her mind
made up 10 fool the old man next day
or die IN the attempt In the previous
years she bad foaBl John impervious
u jokes OF all kinks. and she realized
the Augean task before Ter on tEc asor-
roE. Will her mind full % the self.
imposed task she went 10 sleep. A.
daylight she awclso and at once began
TO operate. Her victim was lying with
his back toward her apparently in a
sound sleep. She poked him vigorous
IS in tho ribs with her sharp elbow AID
clavcd bis shins withLcr toe nails. pre-
paratory 10 startling him with q half.
whispered warning.
"John--oh, John-there's sogse one
ringing the door-bell"
Let IN ring was the sleepy Response.
But, John. NAY Le IFS. Ihc man on
the next square who owes you that 800
come to pay you"
NO faint, neither" said John with
yawn.
But you don't know, and il may be
that very man"
Il guess not Tor he's buricl; died
last week. BESIDES, OLD woman your
ears deceive YOU. too!. the boil knob
OH las; light 70 fool Aptil foo!ess."
Heavens What a mess she hal made
OF it to begin with. But when Tie old
man rolled out Of bed. yawning and
picked zap his pants she rammeG TIC sheet
ia her mouth 10 plug up her laugItsr.
-, JENNY, won't lie tumble when
be puts his tot in them pants AID lads
the leg scwed up!' she said 10 herself
Judge Of her rage when the provoking
brute inuocentIy carried the blockalcd
brooches to the wardrobe and inquired
Nancy where's Il en- chocolate color.
el pants 1 had on las weok?'
Put on Tie ones YOU have in YOU,
hands, John; what's the matter wi.l.
taem>'
i burst a button on yesterday, ana
they need nend,ns
At breakfast she poured out a nice
cap o~coTse for him aud saeetcned il
with two spoonruls OF salt.
You needn't give me any coffee, ho
said keep ihat yourself
Why, John, what's the matter, This
is the first time since we were married
that You refused coffee.
The blamed stun has made me merry,
Gus lately ami, as this is the first Of ,hc
month | thought I'd break or and only
drink it Cor supper. You take Tia, your.
scd.'
When lac came home to dinner she
had prepared him a neatly directed ca.
envelope with a blank paper inclo-cI
within. lie eyed it suspiciou-ly, and
throwing it into tic fire said
i know that handwriting It's from
shat crazy lunatic who wants M to vote
for him Tomorrow. So mrch FOR his
letter.
In tic evening she disguised herself
ia one OF her hus5anrs old suits and
came 10 the door to beg for charity.
Please give nc nicklo 10 boy some
bread?
Get out orI.I give You auirlIc with
my boot.
Bat, sir, consider. I'm starving.
The dickens You are Now I'll be-,
fifty dollars against the suit Of clothes
you wear thu, you are an impostor,
'Bul sir
III were 20 search you now
shouldn't be surprised to Gud you lousy
with wealth for two crr'- would see.
For lcay-ls sake
Sow none o. your sort.soau on mo
don't believe ig Jcggar- Here YOU po.
..eoman take this internal lmpo-tor Co.