San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1878-11-02
WIr AND U1sDoM.
A TIGHT fit-delirium tremens.

ALL men IRE not homeless, but some
are home less than others.
Mr.. Seasongood is running for the
Ohio Legislature, and DIR. Goodyknouf
for that of Missouri.
BRASS is more priced in Africa than
gold. A Chicago drummer would bring
$3.50 by dead weight.
A LARGE assembly of PENNSYLVANIA
tramps resolved that they would take
trade dollars until further notice.
IT is better to be poor and barefooted.
than to inherit fortune with snakes in
your boots.-N. o. Picdyune
SOME people are like green Holsters
they never know when to let 60 when
you shake hands with them.
DoN'T attempt to punish nil your enc
mics Mt once. You can't do large bust
ness on small capital.
The affection of parents to their chill
dren is best shown by teaching them
what is good and true.
lot hSNSI ICutOl " PROMISE
suit in which the mother does not seem
to knowmore about the case than the girl.
WOMEN faint on the slightest pretext
Mrs. Wilson, of West Virginia, tainted
after chopping of her husbands head.
THE Picayune believes that doctors
may differ MS to the nature of n disease,
and yet agree as to the price of visit.
GEORGE HENRY HoGsTUFFER, of Gin
cinnati has petitioned for n change of
name, because people will not pronounce
it Hawkstewfer.
WHEN boy becomes ashamed to sit
on his mothers lap, he is probably in
business for himself-holding somebody
else on his lap.
If man is on his way to the woods
to commit suicide and bull suddenly
gives chase, the chances are that he will
run for his life.
WEsTNIoRELAND is the smallest coun-
ty in Virginia, but it was the birthplace
of three Presidents Washington, Mad
ison and Monroe
HE who thinks he can do without
others is mistaken; but he who thinks
that Others cannot do without him, is
still more mistaken.
If you were to offer $4,000 for the
sewing-machine that did not take the
first premium" at the Paris Exposition,
we don't suppose you could get one.
ELI Perkins gives an account of the
conversation between male and q fe-
male idiot. Eli does not mention the
name of the woman he was talking to.
CHINESE rail road trains run at the
rate of thirteen miles an hour, and
when donkey on the highway shows
signs of being agitated the train must
stop.
The Spaniards put small sprig of
lemon verbena in their ten. when it is
poured into the cup. 1t not only adds
to the pleasant taste, but is also whole
some.
IT is said that persons who have been
raised in poverty, and have suddenly
amassed wealth, give hotels more troub-
lie than all those used to luxury from
their birth.
| A DANBURY man got divorced from
his wife few years ago, and married
again. His second wife has given him
an heir and he has secured the first
wifes services rs nurse.
CHICAGO possesses a precious female
orator In the person of Miss Rowe, aged
10 years, and the hardened sinner of
the Burlington Ha,ckeye speaks Of her
as another Sissy-Rowe.
SITTING BULL has given strict orders
not to scalp the man pushing wheel
barrow acrosa the continent. He likes
to see the paleface enjoying himself
within reasonable bounds.
The New England towns are now hay.
ing champion elm tree" controversy.
The biggest tree yet brought out is the
one Mt Rutland, with top spread of 14S
feet at the top, and 25 feet in circumfer-
ence foot from the ground
The rapacity, the shameless rapacity
of some people is disgusting. Here is a
man in Helena, Montana, worth $780,
900, who recently died and left every
dollar of his wealth to his wife and
children. And seven lawyers in the
town, too.
LORD BEAcoSsFIELD calls Gladstone
~asophistical rhetorician inebriated with
the exuberances of his own verbosity."
The Lord should be employed TO invent
some newnames for Kearney. No doubt
he would call him "an effusive blather-
skite intoxicated with the profusiveness
of his own impiety and profanity
NOTTisto,rn Herald.