New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1878-10-30
Wit and IIumor,

Getting left--The summer resorts.
A cold in the head is apt to lead to
blows.
"Won at Last shoemaker's
money.
Remuber Lots wife, and avoid letting
anything turn your head.
Would you refer to the religion of the
printers ''devll' as imp pietya
Why Is woodpecker like a tramp?
| Answer. Because he bores for his grub
Dean Stanley astonlshed some Boston
ans by telling them he had never cx-
| ~3.es1 AREA.
About 3G7 newspapers will remark that
| the Atghanistan trouble is ameer trife.-
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Said the young mans ear to the young
man, (quoth Brutus): Nuts I give
way and room to your rash collar?''
Counsel to witness: 'sYou're nice sort
of fellow, you are" Witness: "I'd say
the same to you, sir, on'y I'm on my
| oath!'
The washer-woman's motto is 'soap on,
soap ever Boston Post Sometimes it
IS ''slop on, slcp over ~. II. Reg.
joint-dcbat: The one held between
the heads Of the house on whether this
piece of stove. pipe will fit Chicago
Journal.
There is Hell street in Faris. 1t is
paved IN the usual way.-Keokuk Consti-
tuition. With good indentions2- Ne,o
Haven Register.
Queen Victoria asked the king of Siam
ifhe would like to oe decorated, and the
old fellow said, Eyes, if you'll take me
Just as Siam.' Boston Post.
When an artist climbs over fence to
get nearer view Of a handsome bulldog,
he must take the chances OF his sketch
ing the dog, or the dogs ketchin him.
An Albany clergyman was recently
telling marvellous story, when his little
girl said SHOW, pop. say, is that really
true, or is it just preaching?"
Some clothing was stolen recently
from the Office of the New London Iele-
grano. The editor must bave been. takin :
a bath at that time.--Danielsonos
Sentinel.
An old soldier who pridcd himself up
on his bravery, said he had fought in the
| battle of Bull Run. When asked if he
had retreated and made good his escape,
as others did on that famous occasion, he
replied, "Be jabers. those that didn't run
are there yit!-N. Y. Mail.
| A Minnesota preacher is discoursing
on, "who is the Devil. Where is the
Devil and How the Devil can be Over
come." and the Detroit Free Press calls
the attention of the Chicago Times to this
personal assault. The old, old. Storey.
Give man a bad dog and hang him.
N. 2. Com. Ado.
Feathers will be universally worn this
| winter.-F'ns1ioaa Itena.-If the American
people are going to take TO feathers uni
versally, they will be a tar-nation sight
worse stuck up than ever. philadelphia
Bulzet;n.--Pltch in, I'D boy. We shall
stick to this country, leather or no.-Cin-
innati Saturday Might
"Tim," said the parson severely, "sup-
pose that the Lord should cell you just
as an oath was on your lipss' II shouldn't
co. SAID Tim. 'sAh9 nay friend" re-
Joined the preacher, ''you could not es-
cape. We must all submit to His will
We cannot escape the laws of nature"
''Then, parson," said Tim. "what made
you put up those lightning rods?''
A secptic, who was badgering simple
minded old man about miracle ana
Balaam's ass, finally said: How is it
possible for an ass to talk like a MANI"
WELL replied an honest old believer,
with meaning emphasis" II don't see why
1t ant as easy for an ass to talk like a
man, as it is for man to talk like an
ass,'
"People who so into business by the
side of men who have large business
built up in constant advertising, and
never advertise dollar, but depend upon
the drippings from the neig hboring sane
tuary, are like boys who go out to pig
con shoot, ana try to get enough birds for
mess from those that get away from the
regular sportsmen. Such is life, and tie
pot hunters often go hungry .-Mizsoau-
kee Sun.
We heard Of case the other day where
young man applied to his employer for
short leave of absence. The employer,
having his own views of his business,
suggested, for reason, that the young
man delay his vacation for a few days.
I would replied, the young man, ''but
the fact is am going to get married,
the day appointed, and I .cant to be there
aohcn 1t comes off," He was there on time
| Boston Transcript
An item on its way around states that