Litchfield enquirer., 1878-01-17
CLIPPINGS.

CLIPPINGS. A Sign of Indigestion" Gone to dinner. Be back in five minutes" A New York minister calls Joseph Cook the Ben Butler of religion. What is the difference between a hill and a pill ? One is hard to get ap, and the other is hard to get down.
 General Sherman gets $18, 900 a year, be- side the blessed privilege of kissing the girls It is very sweet to be a,warrior. A little fellow who receveda sled asa Christ mas present prayed thus: 70 God please let it snow so can try my new sled! v It is confidently believed that every modern haclman was in the cavalry service during the war, and hence his audacity in charging.
 The study of ceramics is moderate intel lectual struggle to find out what sort of pictures ancient Egyptians had on their shaving mugs.
 Just keeping it lighted for another boy" is the latest juvenile invention when mother suddenly comes upon her little boy with ci gar in his mouth.
 An English judge recently defined bankrupt cy as 'when man owes lot of money, and
 
 between them"
 Jones-"Did you see the star-shower the other night, Miss Jessica P" Miss Jessiea with 8 rapid but comprehensive surven of the heav- ns)-''No but it couldn't have been much, for there are no stars missing"
 General Grant will have 8 good timeip Egypt He will climb a pyramid and see the Nile Nile and ride on the walking-beam of ship of the desert aa -
 The following israther equivocal :-'Maria Brown, wife of Timothy Brown, aged 80 years She lived with her husband gfty-nine years and died in the confident hope of better life"
 ''You low, bad, wicked boy Tom, to throw sch big stone at my little brother; do be- lievc you've killed him .' ''Then I say, Ma " if he's reely dead, give us his hoop and stick, cos should lolko sommat to remember i'm by"
 Boots of the thirteenth century are occuson- ally dug up in London, with skeletons of cats of the same festive era. The relative posi- tions of the boots and cats show that the an- clients were not much better at aiming than we of to day are.
 An cpitaph in Waltham Abbey informs us that ''Sir James Fullerton; sometimes first gentleman of the bedchamber to Charles I, died Fuller of faith than of fears, Fuller of resolution than of pains. Fuller of honor than of days..s N
 There once lived in Georgetown, D. C., a tanner named Anthony Hyde. His sign was as follows:
 A. HYDE. | Hyde's my name, l And hidrs buy, Four cents for green, Eight cents for dry. He was so drunk that he could not walk, could scarcely move and only partially articu- late. A friend of his came up and upbraided him. ''lf 1 were in your place." said the friend. ''Pd go out in the woods and hang my self" ''lf (hic) you were in my place, how (hic) the duce (hic) would you get to (hic) the woods? was the squelching inquiry.
 One thousand shingles, says a newspaper paragraph, will cover one hundred square feet of surface. One shingle, by the way, will cover six square inches of bad boy, and, il properly applied, will be productive of a. much benefit and more noise than the ont thousand shingles on one hundred square feet of surface. Figures won't lie.
 Girls should be warned of the danger they run in marrying brakemen. An enthusiastic member of that fraternity, on being awakened the other night from dream of an impending crash by a train, found himself sitting up in his bed, holding his wife by the ears, having nearly twisted her head off in his frantic ef- forts to down brakes"
 lQn E a sk9a aesa aezBsE xe Patterson shows a statesmanship as purely commercial as Jones's. He says;-'1 shall not resign under any circumstances. If am gppg t9 be we'll J should be 2 fool stp resign sick, should be fool to resign, because ] cdn be here and droo nag thirteen dollars aday No, sir. I authorize you to say that I will not resign. Those fellows down there will no, get my seat. have been worn out by hart work and by office from South .Caro lima.
 An Irishman, being recently on trial fo some offence, pleaded mot guilty" and tn, jury being in the box, the District Attorne, proceeded to call Mir. Parkinson as witness With the utmost innocence Patrick turned hi face to the Court and said, Do understand yer honor, that Mir. FIrkisson is to be wit ness fornenst me again?" The judge said dry ly, 'It seems so." Well, thin, yer honor. blade guilty, not because am guilty. for Tn as innocent as yerhoner's sucking babe, bu | sowl. A reader in the country writes us as follows
 '.Amule in our village yesterday afternoon inadvertently kicked can of nitro-glycerine : A barn one hundred yards distant was -badl, wrecked, and the mule appeared somewha surprised whirling two or three times aro,ln, before resuming work at nibbling hay.'' VI, don't believe it-that is, we do believe tn kicking and wrecked barn part, but we don believe thati he mule was surprised. It is ; libel on the mule. A mule is surprised at noth ing. ," } It seems to be the ambition of all youn, wives to look we'll when any one calls Tn; other day a south-side bride heard a ring a the front door. The maid was out, and sh rushed up stairs to fix up" little before ad mitting the caller. There was moment O lightning work at the dressing case Quicke ) than it takes to tell 1t, ribbon was fastene, at her throat, flower stabbed into her hair, flash of powder on her face, and she was a } the door. all smiles and blushes. The gentle man said he had walked from Memphis ant hcouldnt remember that he had tasted foot since he left Cincinnati.
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