The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1878-06-08

! Mr.. Sarsaper always felt that he was
lover of music, though he couldn't SO
much as whistle or tell the difference
between waltz and dirge.
1t seemed to do him good to sit in the
backyard of evenings and listen to
Amelia banging away ut the piano, and
warbling till there was much crashing
of teeth in the neighborhood, and then,
later, when her young man dropped in
and blended his deep nasal voice with
hers, the soul of the parent would seem
to be drawn out in happy sympathy un-
til he could almost feel that he had q
touch of the divine afllatus himself.
In these joyous moments be used to
long and yearn to pour forth his glad
some heart in happy twittering song,
but the moment he attempted to do SO
his unsympathetic partner was sure to
snap the cords of his Tyre by telling him
to stop his grooming for mercy's sake, if
I he had any regard for her nerves. And
then he would nurse his chin, and muse
and wonder why heavens best gifts were
not more evenly divided. If he could
only sing like the gifted youth who was
at that moment jarring loose the plaster
ing in the parlor, or if he could play on
the accordion like the bakers boy, he
would be content to keepa little grocery
somewhere all his days, he thought.
He loved music without knowing
why or how, and wasn't very particular
about the quality so long as there was
plenty If it in bulk. The more noise it
carried with it the stronger its hold upon
him. 1t may then be imagined with
what impatient joyousness Mr.. Sarsaper
looked forward to the approach OF the
May Festival, and with what enthusiasm
he set about decorating his residence in
manner suited to indicate that appre-
citation abided there. He was hopeful
that for once he would get all the music
he wanted, and he was not disappointed.
Among the houseful of company who
came to sojourn with him during the
week, was a brother of his wife, from
Illinois. Mr. Sarsaper was very glad to
see him come. He was also very glad to
see him go. lie was well-meaning
man, no doubt, but seemed either def
cient in foresight or needless of conse-
quences. He brought with him presents
of musical nature for all the children.
For Tommy he had drum, and a fife
like tin-whistle that could raise the
hair every time. Melissy was made
happy with horn Of excruciating tone,
and another fiendish continuance with a
Chinese name and noise like the wall
of despair. Even little Jimmy, the
two-y ear-old, was not forgotten, and
came in for full share of rattles and
blowing contrivances.
The carnival of discord that imme-
diately took possession of the premises
was at first actually enjoyed and en-
couraged by Mr.. Sarsaper. 1t reminded
him of Wagner's music, as interpreted
by his daughter, and he clapped his
hands and told the youngsters TO sail in.
Mrs. Sarsaper rebelled, and with much
happy father and the amateur orchestra
out into the backyard. The fence was
quickly covered by all the children Of
the ne ghborhood, many of whom
brought along their instrumental pos
sessions, ranging from a joint of stove
pipe to bladder with beans, and a
mouth-organ. I hree organ-grinders and
a couple of Italian harpists were also at
trac ed by the din and entered into the
contest with the full strength of their
united machinery. In the excitement
of the moment several of the urchins
tumbled of the fence and felt moved to
add several original vocal features to
the entertainment, which they did with
much spiri4 and expression.
By this time upper windows in the
neighborhood began to fly up and ex-
hibit pantomimes of shaking fists and
nervously moving features. Recruits
were constantly arriving, and even Mr..
Sarsaper himself was soon surfeited with
melody, and set about trying to smother
the torrent of sound. He found it a
big contract, but finally succeeded in
penning his own children in the house
and dispensing the others, but they
quickly rendezvoused on vacant lot
near by and filled the air with distrac-
ton for several hours afterward. In
fact, the whole neighborhood has been
little short of pandemonium ever since,
and Mr.. Sarsaper has found all sorts OF
anonymous threats poked under the
door as to what will happen if he don't
burn up his boys drum and enforce a
calm in his household.
Instead of the delight and joy antici-
pated, the festivities of the past week
have been to him burdensome disap-
pointment, and all, too-as he AYERS
with sorrowful bitterness-on account
of the base perfdy of his wife's Illinois
relative.
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