Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1878-05-08

A neat foot-a cows.

Huusr.
A neat foot-a cows.
Good name for wood-cutter.
Hugh.
Every dove has cote, and every dog
pants Whitehall Times. =
In what place are two heads better
than one? In q barrel.
A French wit says that friendship be-
tween women is only suspension Of
hostilities.
Why call her girl of the period when
she refuses to come to full stop?-
Rome Sentinel.
The fat girl of Iowa is dead. She
measured seven feet around the waist,
and was never completely Rugged.
England may be mistress of the
c." but she has never been able to
fairly master the Hs.-N. Y. Mail.
Charitable lady" Poor man! if it
were possible 10 procure work what
situation would suit you best?" Tramp
-" Ladies' companion num-"
Twenty-Five thousand Russians have
arrived ut Tehataldja. We don't pro.
nounce this canard. for we can'ardly
pronounce it ut all.-N. Y. Ne,s.
A facetious old gentleman, who
thought his two sons consumed too
much time in hunting and shooting,
styled them Nimrod and Ramrod.
Marriage! Pooh don't men-shun
it" exclaimed the maiden aunt. "In-
deed they DON'T" replied her lovely
niece.
The Worcester Press says there is
some sort of reason in Rhode Islands
opposition to the silver dollar of our
daddies. The coin takes up room.
An English donkey mot man, but
real Donkey had a fight with a ram.
The donkey killed the ram. This
shows that the finis" of a donkey is
more powerful than the preface Of a
RAM"
We saw Il young man with two heads
on his shoulder the other day, but
didn't consider it much of curiosity
One belonged to his girl.-BerkJ.ire
Courier.
The tendency of clubs in all times
has been to destroy our youth. Hardly
had our first ancestors been driven from
Eden before Abel. young man, was
killed by club.
A clever minister recently said "The
time is surely coming when stealing
will be q thing of the past" The ex-
PLANTATION Of this to the inquiring Cali.
fornian was, Because there will be
nothing left to steal"
A paper recently published the fol-
lowing item: "A deaf man, named
Taft, was recently run down by pas
senger train and killed on Wednesday
morning. He was injured in similar
way about year ago"
Science Made Easy-Friend to scien-
tific authority: Doctor, how is man
to tell mushroom from toadstool?"
Scientific authority: "By eating it,
If you live, it is mushroom; if you
die, it is toadstool."
An exchange makes this pathetic
appeal:
"Iccmau, spare our purse;
Raise not your prices higher;
You're making matters worse,
Thus freezing out each buyer"
A news item says that an English
traveller in the Holy Land has discov-
cred Jacobs well. The Oil City Der
rick says ave are glad to hear it. A
rumor has been atloat for some time
that Jacob was dead"
A lady said that this was the finest
compliment which she had ever re-
ceived: She was on horseback. and as
she rode past All Irishman. who was
standing by the roadside, she heard him
say: ." wisht' l was in prison for the
stating ov ye."
When reproved for failing to keep an
engagement with another gentleman,
brave but devoted Utica husband re-
piled: "My dear sir, my intentions
were excellert, but a man with red.
haired wife is liable to break many an
engagement against his will."-Utica
Herald.
A boy came along to one of our
neighbours houses holding very dirty
dog, and asked the gentleman of the
house: Don't you want to buy dog,
Mister?" What kind of q dog is it?
asked the gentleman. The boy looked
puzzled. "Well," said he, at is part
terrier" "And what's the rest?
asked the gentleman. The rest,
answered the boy, "why, the rest isis
just II dog"
During a dinner the conversation
happened to fall on household affairs.
A gentleman said carelesslv: :" it is
very disagreeable to be obliged to dis
miss an old servant, but still must get
rid of my valet de chambre." Why"
g have been looking for foot bath
for the last eight years. He has never