The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1878-10-31
All Sorts OF ParaEs aphs.

<J- OUA to VA l. "a estst dpubs
~
- Sow good thoughts and you will
reap good actions. sr
"A true woman loveth howers-the
kind the new fall bonnets are trimmed
with.
A French writer has described d
young lady as creature that ceases to
kiss gentlemen at twelve and begins
again at twenty. fSis
- The true pleasure of temperance,
and the many benefits that follow sobri-
ETY., cannot be imagined by those who
live dissipated lives. issf5'
- A little girl wanted moro 5utteyed
toast, but was told that she'd had a1ough,
and that more would make her Ill.
"Well," said she, "give me anuzzer piece,
and send for tho doctor" sr{l
= Said railroad engineer to an Irish
man, whose COW had been killed, "But
she didn't get out of the way when I
rang the bell.' "raith, thin" said Pat.
"ye didn't shtoF whin she rang her bell,
naythur."
"A williamsburg man woke his wife
| the other night, and, in a startled tone
of voice, informed her that he had swal-
lowed dose of strychnine. well, you
fool" said she, "lie still, or you may
vomit it up"
"A Dutchman, getting excited over
! an account of an elopement of married
| woman, gave his opinion thus: ;:If my
wife runs away NIT anoder mans wife, +
shake him off out his preeches, if she be
mine fadder, mine Gotp
Mea. can be prevented from scorch-
ing during the roasting process by SIM
ply placing basin or cup of water in
the oven. The steam generated not only
prevents scorching, but makes the meat
cook nice.
"A very careful Bridgeport man al
pocket as an antidote for latttesnnke
bites. He is now over fifty years old and
has never once died of rattlesnake bite,
and he attributes his escape to tie anti
dote 4 8 9
= It is estimated by those who are
interested in buying cotton at low
price, that the crop for the present year
will be in the neigfborhood of $780, 600
bales. Should this estimate prove to be
correct, it will be the largest crop ever
grown. -
- Senator Blaine, on salary Of Sc, 900
per annum, and without any other visible
means of support, hns accumulated, ac-
cording to common report, about 81 ,OO0,-
000. He Is nice man to talk hard
money to men with no work and empty
stomachs.
= A consignment OF. one hundred and
fifty live rossums was recently received
in Columbia from Walhalla They az
rived by the Greenviiie ana Columbia
Railroad; and were consigned 10 q color
ed caterer Of Columbia, who proposes to
put them up, fatten them, and deal them
out to customers.
- A French scientist, i'm communi-
cation to the Academy of Science, states
that he was able, afler having we'll inves-
tigated the subject. for several years, to
say that oil eggs containing the germ Of
males have wrinkles on the small end,
while female eggs are smooth. s
= Glib.tongued gentlemen go about
the Western States in pairs, representing
to the farmers that they are commissioned
by the bureau of agriculture to obtain
minute statistics. They make many en-
tries in their books, stayiDg 70 dinner or
over nig5:, insist on pp~ing for their
lodging because they are Employed nnon
government service, and pass counterfeit
X'supon their hosts, receiving the echange
in good money.
= In trying to be bitter Mr. Moens,
of Boston. was bitten. He met Andrew
Bresant. who carried Q bag and seemed
TO be crazy. Bresant talked senselessly,
and showed that the bag contained gold
COINS. 600 he said: This money he
wanted to leave with Afoens for eafc-
keeping, but demanded 81 600 il paper
money as security Moens, ready to
take advantage of the supposed maniac,
gave the 81, 900 and took the bag which
he afterward found to contain very little
coin and great deal of lead.
| A clergyman says that he once vis-
tied o lady of his parish, who had .iusa
lost her husband, in order to offer her
consolation, anu upon frr earnest isiaTsi,-
ries as to the reunion of families in
heaven, he strongly asserted his beliefin
that fact. When she asked, with ankle
ty, whether any time must elapse before
iTiend5 would BE able to find each other
sll the next world, he emphatically said,
mo! they will be united ut once" He
was thinking of the happiness of being
able to offer the relief of such n faith,
/ when she broke in upon his meditations
by exclaiming, sadly, "Weil, his frst
splfe has aos him, then. 6y this time ~ IN,
/ - The San Antonio (Texas}' Herald
says: IA few days ago q prisoner, with
face on him that excited much remark
on account of the neanness of his ex-
preston, was brought into the district
court to be sentenced to the penitentiary
for stealing come clothes off a line. As
he was known to be very slippery char
acter, ono of our handsomest and most
vigilant deputy sheriffs took a seat by his
side. After while the prisoner leaned
over and whispered to the officer:
I"Wonit you do me one little kindnessf
The officer promised to do so with one of
the kindliest smiles we have ever seen in
{. court house. The prisoner whispered:
Then ait a little fariher Off; I'd rather
| pay O. hundred dollars than have people
take me for d deputy sheriff
LENoN AND oRANaE.--Dr. Price's