The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1878-04-13
All Sorts.

has mauy acliers.
"Arose" by any other name would
be ''got up g
One way to get roaring trade ia
to buy a managerie.
The best way to rise in lady's
estimation is not by stares.
Standing on q dentists doorstep
will often cure toothache.
A friend that sticks in prosperity
and adversely h9
TO "bonc" turlSey-Take it when
the poulterer is not looking.
Ten highwaymen cannot pull .
shirt of a naked mans back.
Never wait for anything to turn
mp, but go and turn it up yourself.
Skinner keeps hotel in Chicago.
1t is good name to keep a hotel
with.
When is money dampf When it
is dew in the morning and mist at
night. leaa IS
IA splendid ear, but very poor
voice." as the organ grinder said TO
the donkey.
Josh Billings says that in the beds
of many hotels "yu sleep sum, but
role over good deal" .f
The procurement Of n clean paper
collar for the groom delayed a high
toned Newark wedding an hour and
a half the other day.
Daniel Webster has accepted q
position ON the New York police,
and it is therefore inferred that his
dictionary has not proved q sue
cess. eaf a54its
The spelling schools that are
spreading all over Ohio are said to
have demonstrated the fact that q
woman can spell live times better
than man. - sis
Pleasant faced people are geuer-
ally the most welcome, but the auc-
tioneer is always pleased to see o
man whose countenance Is for bid
ding. it"if
4 handkerchief Of William Penn
was on exhibition art the Centen-
NAL, and II curious correspondent
writes 10 ask if it is the original
Peru wiper.
A newspaper biographer trying to
say his subject .'was hardly able to
bear the demise of his wife" was
made by the ipexorable printer to
say, ..wear the chemise of his wife,"
Two Irishmen travelling on tho
Baltimore and Ohio railroad track,
came to mile post when one Of
them said: Tread a;sy, Pat; here
lies "a man los years old--his name
was Miles from Baltimore"
A couple of fellows who were pref
ty thoroughly soaked with bad whis-
key, got into the gutter. After
laundering for some time one OF
them said: "Lct's 20 TO another
house, this hotel leaks"
"Wliat have you been a doin' !"
asked boy of his playmate, whom
he saw coming out of the house with
tears iu his eyes. '.l've been chas-
in a birch rod around my father"
was the snarling reply.
A party of Sioux In,linns stole q
patent ice cream freezer, thinking
it was hand organ, aud all the big
medicine men turned the crank
week before they concluded there
was no music in it.
Recent experiments with cats
have proved that a full developed
tabby can successfully evade the
rapid approached of two bootjacks,
bar OF CASTLE soap, a pair Of No. 10
boots. IL gold watch, backing brush
and "a horse pistol.
1t is u singular fact, but one we'll
authenticated, that al Indian never
( dreams. He slnmbers away like q
horse, and he doesn't know what it
/ is 30 dream that he is riding out to
lspelling school with his arm around
| the waist of the handsomest girl in
town.
/ A Louisville papa did not seri-
ously object To the proposed elop-
meni Of his daughter with q dry
goods clerk. HAPPENING to get wind
of the plan. he merely lay in wait
for Augustus. aud sent him away
witt, the Impression that remarka-
bly, healthy Young mnle had played
tattoo with his heels under has
coat tails.
| A Mississippi boatman with i'm.
mcnse feet stopping at a publie
house on the leyec, asked tue porter
for bootJack tn pull off his boots.
The colose,l gentleman. after exam
lining the strangers feet, broke out
as fellows: mo jack here big nun
@ a.. IL . IL.