The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-04-09
SUNBHAMS,

IA ltiiOW WHO "tDtpu 10 Dc IltTFlet HSkGu
the preacher to ''oarry the moose to
Marry"
A child in Berlin, Ont, swallowed mar
BILE the other day, and persisted. Didn't
know it was loaded.
Whittier eomposes willie he whittles
sticks. Strange coincidence. Chicago
bankers compose Willie they cut sticks.
The physicians say that promiscuous
kissing spreads disease. Heart troubles
especially, eh?-3&rner's Fdts Reporter.
Baron Rathiel asked his family physician
what class of people died happiest. Said
the doctor, ''Tbose who are hung"
81 say Mick, what sort of potatoes are
those you are planting?" RAW ones, to
be sure; your honor wouldn't be thinking l
plant boiled ones."
Johnny, what does your mother keep
cat for 7" '',ro lay kittens" was the unex-
pected reply. Tie questions for that
session came to an abrupt end.
A hopeful minister says that he has nc
doubt that the time will come when the
members of church choir will behave Just
al well as other folks.
A Burlington man has invented amethod
of bottling up sunshine in the summer
which he proposes to sell at the price Of q
dollar a quart in the winter.
Don't you thihk," said husband in q
mild form Of rebuke to his wife, that
women are possessed by the devil p eyes,"
was the answer, 'tas soon as they are mar
ried."
| A Dutchman was about to make four
ney to his fatherland, and wishing to say
good by to friend, extended his hand
ard said: "Vell, off don't come back,
hullo."
A man who married Miss Take, after
having courted Miss Lloyd, was told by a
friond that it was reported he was married
to HISS Lloyd. 1T was Miss Take,
assure you. he replied.
whats the difference, asked the teacher
in arithmetic, between one yard and two
yards2" "a fence!" said Tommy Beales.
Then Tommy sat on the ruler fourteen
times
A train on Florida railroad the other
day passed man on horseback, and there
was great hurrahing among the passengers
until they discovered that the animal was
tied to the fence.
Did it ever strike any of our reflective
readers that the same woman who admires
some other woman's husband can't see
what ne saw in that wishy-washy wife of
his."
The Georgia negro has no more faith in
banks He lays all his money out in
clothes and hair oil, and the news of a
bank suspension causes him to exclaim
Bust away will ye, but ye can't hurt desc
lavender breeches!"
A girl who formerly lived in st. Louis
writes from Colorado to an old friend-
''This is the handsomest 200 acres 1 ever
put my foot down on" Her father ought
to get 100 acres more and have a lawn
around her foot.
Twenty-one freshmen were suspended
from an English College because profess
sor couldn't find out who placed ten ounce
tack in his chair. He, however, knew all
about who sat down upon it.
i A devoted wife will always speak plainly,
though kindly, to her husband Here is a
case in point: ''When 1 die" said a
married man, II want to go where there
is no snow to shovel" His wife said that
she presumedthat h would.
Jacobs taste led him to choose Rachel;
Moses nobility of spirit made him choose
to suffer with his own people; Regulas'
manhood made him choose death rather
than dishonor, but the Burlington school
girl chews gum.
1t is said the same mysterious motive
which lmpels man to run two squares to
catch street car which is only minute
ahead of the one behind it, impels young
man to court the first girl he falls in love
with rs if she were the only one in the
world eligible to marriage.
The mother-in-law finds a defender in
the San Francisco Mail, which says "If
old Adam had had mother-in- law to look
after him and his wife, it is more than
probable that this very day we might have
been able to caper about in the light and
airy costumes of our first parents"
Louisiana raised thirty-two million oran-
ges last year. And now when a man at
tempts TO make coal hole in the pave
ment with the back of his neck, he goes
home, sharpens his John knife, and cuts
Louisiana out of every geography in the
house.
A coffin maker was asked for whom he
was making coffin, and replied: Mr..
Swift" "Why, man," replied the other,
''he is not dead yet" Don't you trouble
yourself" replied the sturdy mechanic.
''Dr. Coe told me to make his coffin, and
guess he knows what he gave him."
Farmer (after anxiously inspecting stran-
gers): ''What be they gentlemen doing,
mister?" Visitor: "Sketching your house.
They are artists, and maybe they will paint
it," Farmer: "Well, am sure they will
be quite welcome. 1t wants it, and white
washing, too, mortal bad"
Young lady-(who has selected some
nice n,oire-antique for dress.) "You will
please charge that moire-untique to pa.
Afable clerk Excuse me miss, but my
employer says your pa cannot have any