The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1878-08-24
Men and Women.

Fernando Wood Is terribly mortified over the
defeat of his pet tariff bill, and any allusion to
IL makes him very angry. On Saturday he
went into store to purchase some muslin
Shirts and while pulling the material to test its
qualities the clerk observed: "That wouldn't
tear if" 'Tariff," interrupted Wood, in
tones of thunder, 'if you say that word again,
young man, I'll split you from top to bottomP'
The affrighted clerk whispered to the cash boy
to go out and bring policeman in to arrest the
crazy man.-Neao York Express
Bret Harte's description of high-toned Bos-
ton Lawyer:-I breakfasted with certain Boz
ton lawyer-replete with principle, honesty,
self-discipline statistics, aesthetics and virtues,
and full recognition of their market values.
think he tolerated me as a kind of foreigner,
gently, but firmly waving all argument on any
topic, frequently distrusting my facts, gener
ally my deductions, and always my ideas. In
conversation he always appeared to descend
only half way down long moral and intelec-
tual staircase, and dl,gays deliUered his conclu-
SONS ouer the baniSters.-DriftS from Too
Shores.
Out at some religious party in the country,
this summer, DR.. S. Itaneus Prime, q man of
most exuberant jocosity, notwithstanding the
funereal old Observer he edits, and Rev. DIR.
Adams of Union Theological Seminary, one OF
his boon companions, wero getting up prece
dents for recreation. One was where Jesus
"said unto them, Come ye yourselves apart un
to desert place and rest awhile;' and it was
observed that this was given at time when
'there were many coming and going, and they
had no leisure so much as to eat" Dr. Adams
| quoted also from Virgips eclogues where one of
the boys says "Deus hoe otium nodis fecit"
Translate. won't you?" asked DR.. Prime.
Certainly" said DR.. Adams, SIT is God that
has given US this vacation!" Both precedents
were undoubtedly inspired.
The walters here at the Profile House are all
students. College boys and seminary girls
answer to the beck and nod in the dining room
and excellent walters they make. A number
of the girls in seasons past have made q very
strong impression upon the hotel guests, and
several matrimonial affairs have been the re-
suit Excellent wives they have made, too
And why shouldn't they? A bashful young
| doctor fell head and ears over in love with the
damsel who served his chops and omelestes.
He watched her every movement, and looked
| jealous when adother of his sex extracted o
| smile from her, After he left the hotel he
i
| asked her if-if he might marry her That
was the long and short of the letter, and She
| very wisely said he might. Charley Greenleaf,
| the jolly proprietor, says that he will attend
wedding aud will do the handsome, for the
girl was one of his best waiters-Rhite
Mountain Letter.
The Hereditary King of Cyprus has turned
up at st. Petersburg. He wants to sell his
birthright to England. He claims to be the
last of the L1signans, descendants of the
kings of Cyprus and Armenia, and has had
| some sort of recognition from the Russian
Imperial family, on whose bounty he has lived
since his fortune was swept away in the futile
insurrection of 1927. BY the way. the last of
the Lusignans, penniess artisan, is said to
have died in Italy last year, leaving several
daughters who were adopted by charitable folk.
| Harriet Martineau tells of q good woman Of
the common sort, like most of us, who, one
day, in the goodness of her heart, sent to her
fellow-lodger, lady straitensd in means, who
had few delicacies, generous portion of her
dinner. The maid returned, quite pale, with
the luncheon untouched between the two hot
plates. and on the top of them q note which
was to this effect, verbatim: "Mrs. b. will
thank Mrs. A, to disseminate her goose in her
! own sphere"
There is the 'Belle of the Surf and the
sBelle Of the Beach" and the "Belle Of the
Breakers" named so by the ladies who spend
more time on the beach and in the surf during
the week, when the gentlemen are not there,
than on Sundays, when they are. The Belle of
the Surf is beautiful young Philadelphian,
with brown hair, who wears Q white bathing
dress mounted with cardinal. A square piece
of scarlet is set into the neck, the trousers are
drawn up little full over scarlet stockings,
which are visible above her instep. The Belle
of the Breakers is o charming blonde with
laughing blue eyes and masses of fair hair.
She dives, swims, dances and plays in the
breakers, as if she were some sort of waterfowl
and more at home in them than on land. She
wears black bathing dress trimmed with blue,
and little plated ruffis round the oiled silk
/ cap under her straw hat, which looks in the
sunlight like an aureole. The Belle of the
Beach, married woman or q woman who has
| been married, a Mrs. -, at any rate, is prob
ably 80. Her face is pale, her features are of
| classic regularity, and she frames them in
| white tule in style which suggests conven-
tual forms, and has induced some persons to
| apply to her the name of "Madonns. Long
| Branch Letter.