The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-02-21

- "a - AbhOd h3N-
ing smash-ups and accidents. 1t can't
be done.
Socials for the benefit of the poor
are in vogue in many of our neighbor-
ing towns. Why not inaugurate such
a movement here? Donations for
persons well enough off in this world
are all we hear of in Eaton.
The rumor seems we'll founded that
a number of promipent citizens ofBal-
timore have resolved to erect a mon
ument to the memory of the late DR..
J. w. Bull, discoverer of that won
derful remedy, DR.. Bulls Cough
Syrup.
A young man of 81 went to Texas
last March and is already thepropri-
etor of a stock farm, with which was
conveyed also a ready-made family,
consisting of one wife, even children,
and a mother-in-law. "Go vest
young man.
Charles Napier, an English scion
fist, prescribes a vegetable diet as a
cure for intemperance. The relin-
quishment of meat for six or seven
months, he asserts, will destroy a de-
sire for alcohol in the most aggravat-
ed cases. Quit your meat, boys.
IF any one desires a sure cure for
dyspepsia, by only provoking a hearty
laugh, let him send ten cents to 1. C.
Clearleigh, No. 3l7 Broadway, New
York, fora copy of the world-re-
nowned Punch Almanack for 1878,
just out, with its thirty cartoons and
comic scenes.
An exchange advises its lady read
ers to be careful in selecting the best
chewing gum. 1t claims that hog
cholera, lard and gum arabic make a
tolerable good article, but the best in
the market is composed of condemn
ed beeswax, gum turpentine and dog
fat. Remember the brand.
Dead men should be treated with
respect. 1t is in bad taste for a speak
err TO take a cadaver by the nape ofthe
neck and hold it up to an audience to
illustrate his subject, whether that
subject be temperance or religion.
We should write the errors of the de-
parted in the sand, and their virtues
on the endearing tablets of memory.
John Musselman, of the grain firm
Of Musselman s. Co., of this place, in
attempting to push with his foot the
belt off the wheel that turns the Elev-
ator, on Tuesday morning last, had
his leg broken above the ANGLE. Dr..
Quinn set the limb. Rather a DANCE
rous operation, Johnny, if you had an
accident policy on your person.
EATON, Feb. 1s, 1873.
Ed. DEMooRAT:-
What do you want the Infidel, Bob
Ingersoll, to lecture here for.
R.
Why, you know variety is said to
be the spice oflife, and we have heard
so much of the other side we would
like to hear Bob for a change.-[ED.
DEM.
A religious paper addresses its
readers in the following pathetic
"Your mother read the AD-
voeATE before you were born,. and
read it many a day as she rocked and
hummei you to sleep. She has gone
home to heaven. This years ADvo-
CATE may guide your feet safely to
that same heaven. Brother, can you
afford to hush these memories and
.quench this light for $2.70?" Nary
bit.
The Superintendent of the German
town schools has got into a sweet
mess, owing to his familiarity with
several of his pupils, especially one
Miss Charlotte Izor. On cross-exam-
.ination in the case he was asked: els
kissing part of the duty sof teachers
to children 2" He answered; "no,
but it is quite a popular amusement"
How is that for "high" schools?
Won't people soon learn that each
sex should teach their own kind in
public schools?
Gentlemen who are isposed to find
fault because we do not fill our paper
with Murphy news, should remember
that we are not publishing a temper
ance organ, but a newspaper, and
while we will cheerfully and briefly
note the progress of the movement
and other matters ofinterest connect
ed with it, we cannotafford to fill our
paper with long essays and reports of
the every day meetings. Please don't
begin to feel imperious-keep your
tempers-remember your christian
motto-"malice towards none chart
ty for all"
The Murphy movement in Eaton
and surrounding country, under the
management of the Moody and San
key of the business, GILMORE and
ABBoTT,) goes on undated and is
spreading all around like a prairie on
fire. The meetingsi in the Court House
on Monday and Friday evenings and
Sabbath afternoons, are perfect jams,
and maay are obliged to 60 away un-
able to obtain even standing room,
and to say the least, to q quiet, sober
locker IN the thing is astonishing and
surprising. You can now scarcely
meet q man, boy or woman on the
streets, that does not wear fha ~blue