The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1878-05-05
CHAT BY The WAY.

themselves, and plenty moro who must CONFESS that
they have unmadc themselves
II is bad policy to worry about niliug your church.
Soc that your pulpit il properly aed, and tbcn tho
church viii take care Of itself.
great many government ohlcers have como 10 the
conclusion any number OF things quito
..worthy OF their s,caL" That Is why small salaries
and high positions SO attractive
1t Is better stay at homo and up tho rents IN
your chiIdren's clothes than go 10 the Dorcas soci
c.y and sew heather. You can't spare timc
do for others you must necds leave undone what
Is necessary TO homo comfort and happiness.
Its with some peoples baptism as 1t was with the
small boys vaccination. he mistook tho word, but
hts meaning clear On being asked II no had ever
been baptized no replied, eyes tho doctor came and
baptized me lvc or six timcs, but II never took"
II you want TO mako q starving man believe that
you any truo religion send him large loaf Of
bread before you send tract Tho lattor Is never
good substitute Tor the former II before eating he
refuses your religion 1t fault, but II no refuses
It after good meal it IS hts fault
Tho world is ike tho httlc boy who, being asked
by his clergyman what he wanted. replied that no
guessed he would like Now Testament, but no
suro he would like popgun
Almost everybody believes In tho moral law, but
very few believe In tho necessity Of practising H.
Colonel lngerscll has at last found an apprccatve
audience. Tho young ladies' Of a school, after tho
delivery Of his famous lecture on 'In6dciity, passed
n vote of thanks, in which they EXPRESSED their
creased fann in veigion after listening his abo
marks They wero Of tho opinion that II lngersoll
had said last and strongest thing against ortho-
doxy 1t was in such danger OF being overturned
they had supposed.
Il is verv natural 10 reason from onc's prcjudicss
The keeper OF a drinking saloon has boon collecting
Ia nho chu chca nd hei dOht nd
that every new church splrc Is helping to RUIN the
country. HIS motto Is, tax tho church as luxury
mako lager beer irec because II Is necessity,
and shall enter upon . new q great and
glorious people Some folks will insist looking ct
tho world through glass eye
A certain class Of people pretend TO DO avcrso to
matrirnony. II CONSISTS largely OF those who have
never been tempted By onfcr Of hand and heart,
however Ono such lately onsnnred IN the mcshes
OF lie, and truth than she
aware when. after tho ceremony, she asked tho
officiating Clergyman to close tho interesting service
by singing tho familiar hymn beginning.
This Is tho way long havo sought,
And mourncd because found IT not
Tho criterion by which we Judge others is apt to DO
rigid than that by which we wish ourselves to
DO Judged. glaring fault In another is only cx
cusablc weakness In ourselves Our oyos are Wide
open when look at our nsighbors, but wholly
shut or partly closed when look at
lives. We may not be willing 10 do positive
wrong, but quite ready TO look at pecca-
diocs through tho big end Of the telescope. though
cato the sins OF othors.
Lovers may sigh and threaten TO utterly oxinguish
themselves unless affection Is returned but they
arc genorny in sport gwen to the Of
sary emphasis Thoro arc very lew attractions con-
nSc,ed with cup Of hcmiock or any other fashion
ablc poison II you were permitted 10 choose the
maancr OF your death you would probably, aftor due
consideration choose die OF old age. Tho following
lines. though dcncon, IN spelling. arc quite correct
expression OF the general sentiment
would not dye Ia anrtumn,
With peaches 1T Tor eating.
Whom wnvy korn Is getting rpo
Il kandiuntos arc freezing.
Phor these aud OF nor reasons
I'D not dye in the pha;
4, sense I've thought IL over,
wud not dye nj all.
Our morality is too apt to be governed by our op
portunitcs II Is never right 10 take what VIC can't
got hold oil, aud, under such circumstances, SEQ
our duty worry plainly. But when things are within
reach tho ordinary conscience takes quot OF
morphine and alter that does not hold Itself rcspon-
sibIo for wha, happens Ius,ra,ion:-" you see
any grapes, Bob," "Yes; lots OF grapes, and ripc
oncs, too, but there's dogs" "Big dogsT. eyes;
awful big" ''fhcn, Bob, como away those grapes
don't belong TO us"
a religious paper, whiio trying to give some whole
some advice TO rich men, admonshcs them to rcmem-
Der Lord their Wills II Is not always snfc.
however 10 wait until you mako your wills 70 rcmom.
Der the Lord, though that IL worry commonly done
People apt 10 insist on having thor own way up
very last and tbcn, when u Is no longer posi-
bic. they arc willing TO lot the Lord have Hts. We
have great sympathy with tbo dying man Of whom
Dr. Cuyler speaks, who, on being asked TO repent re-
Piled that he didn't think II quite mir throw tho
fag end Of oncs life into tho TACO OF heaven. DO all
you can and then you WON'T halt deserve what Jon
will get just Tor trying.
The natural history OF boy hood Is worry Interesting
STUDY IL rs hard for tho old folks look things
from MS standpoint, because their memories arc
short However, no will grow old soon enough, and
tho era OF mud pies aud marbles will fndo only too
quickly.
Only boy, with h,s noisc apd fun.
Tho vcr,csi mystery under tho suu;
As brimiui Of mischief and wit and gee
AS ever a human frame oan he,
And as hard 10 manage as--Ahi An, mel
IT'S hard TO Toll.
Yst we lovo him vol.
We can't SEQ why should fun Tor him TO put bit
OF orange peel on tho sidewalk and thcn watch until
tho uuwary traveller ios on his back, sputtoring oil
the ostps winch tho living and dead languages afford
or 10 tc string from tho door TO tho lnmppost jus,
high enough to knock Of evcrybcdy's hat who hur-
RIOS along or slip out tho ta'lboar Of lemon car,
and then start tho morse gu q run, while tho DIS
mayed vcndcr rnashcs hts teeth aud expresses the
wish that tho cholera would come quickly and make
short work with tho little rascaIs No, We oanr sec
the sport In all that; but twenty years ago w
did We can't remember that NO ever stopped the
chimney up and filled the house with smoke, OF
put eight particles OF gunpowder In the middle
OF tho old gcnteman's cigar, aud then watched for
the explosion, looking SO meek ana absorbed In our
geography lesson that the victim OF our miscniei
thought thcrc must be mistake somewhere, and that
!. no tnrasned us he would do an injustice nno-
cent student Well that Is probably what wc did,
nsvcrthcss and that Is Just wha, boys do.
Ing nowadays
Only boy, who will ne man
IL nature goes "n with her hrst great plan
~ water, or nfc, or some fatal snare
Conspire not 10 roD us Of this our heir,
Our blessiBg, our trouble, our rcst, our care,
Our torment our Joy,