New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1878-12-18
A Monkey Dinner-Party.

It was the funniest dinner-p party that
could be imagined. Five hignly-respect-
able monkeys in full dress sat at table
with plates and wine glasses, and the
sprightliest, most attentive of monkeys
waited upon them, tray in hand, like a
good, highly-genteel waitress, as she
was.
The monkey at the head of the table
was dressed as naval officer, with adj
miraIs hat, epaulettes and side-whiskers
all complete. He was very elegant in
his manners, when not licking his plate,
and he had an injured, reproachful way
of turning of his seat and looking at the
waitress when she failed to bring what he
wanted, that was wonderful to see. At
the foot OF the feast sat farmer monkey
in funny felt hat, white smock and loose
trousers. He had tremendous appetite,
and soon finished his meal and began
knocking hard upon the table for more.
The admiral, who was very proud, never
once noticed him, which the hungry
farmer accepted in good part, as he didn't
take any very great interest in admirals.
But the side of the table was liveliest,
after all. In the middle sat fine mon
key-lady, whom I afterward learned was
called Mrs. Lorne," and the monkey
gallants on each side took turns in con-
versing with her. Sometimes, indeed,
they both addressed her at once, and
then the fashionable Mrs. Lorne would
utter fearful screech and give them
piece of her mind, to the great terror Of
the farmer and the amazement Of the
admiral. She was g. lovely creature in
their eyes, you may be sure, for she wore
a rcd velvet dress and a white hat with
bright pink feather, and her coquettish
way of tossing her head was quite ire
sistable. Wine was freely taken by all
the guests, but learned later that it was
only raspberry juice and water. 1t was
funny enough to see them take up their
glasses in one hand, bow to each other,
toss off the contents, and then pound the
table for a fresh supply.
[ could MOI see what they had to eat,
but it evidently was something good, for
they smacked their lips over it. and grab
bed bits from each others plates so often
that their master frequently was obliged
to expostulate with them.
All, the master! forgot to speak of
HIM. He was their servant Just then,
and stood at a respectful distance behind
the table, bottle in hand, ready to fill their
glasses whenever called upos. or
gently to remind the guests that to lick
ones plate is not looked upon as good
table manners. Meantime the pretty
waitress skipped about, bringing this
thing and that, as the master ordered,
and often sinking into chair near by
for rest and solemn meditation. The
dear thing was essily 'sfustered,' and the
manners of the admiral some Zines so con-
fused her that she seemed almost ready
to faint. At one time, when the master
put pair Of Lighted candles in her hands
bidding her hold them very carefully,
she sprang up and ran from the Estage
with them, holding them both upside
down, still blazing and scattering. Now
aud then the temptation to get bit
from the table grew so strong that she
would watch her chance to take sly
grab when the guests were chattering to-
gether. Whenever she succeeded in this,
the hundreds Of specta+ ors would applaud
heartily. We children thought it was
rather improper tor grown people to en-
courage theft in that way, but we
couldn't help feeling sympathy for the
pretty waitress, Notwithstanding our
good morals. st. Nicholas.