New-York tribune., 1878-03-15
BRITISH ADVERTISING.
QUAINT AND OBSCURE ADVERTISEMENTS.


vERTIsEMENTs.
| FRoM THE REGULAR CORRESPONDENT OF THE TRIBUSE.l
LONDON, Feb. 26.-If the late Mr.. Charles Dickens
had lived till now he might have solaced his soul
with the announcement of the Reformed Funerals
Company, established it tells us, to remodel the
funeral system in four essential points, viz: To use
a new hearse complete, without feathers, dolls
what dolls or veyets; to provide modern car
riages for mOurners, and to convey the generally
berry attendants IN separate carriage, instead OF
the hearse-top (which will conduce to their per-
sOnal safety as well as TO decOrum); lastly,
"to omit the usual encumbering symbols of
woe!" If the Reformed Funerals Company do
not keep poet. they surely keep professor OF
rhetoric on the premises-alsO little becry What
is il in the business of buryng human bodies which
puts so much ghastly nonsense into undertakers'
headsi The American has lately and rightly been
laughed at by his mirthful English cousin for call
ing a coffin casket which is absurd enough but is
it any more absurd than the London Metropolis
Company proclaiming themselves Patentees of the
Earth-to-Earth COflini Or than Messrs. Beckett &
Sons superior system Of funerals, with elegance,
refinement and economy" 7" And what do people
mean by saying they the most recherche funeral
furnishers extant guaranteedi
There is, suppose. no day when the advertising
columns of the London dalies will not furnish
look In the agony column" Selections have often
been made that which offer you to-day. being in
all idle mood, is neither better worse than the
average. fancy, though 1T is not often that one is
vacant-minded enough TO let his eye wander over
those parts of the papers To be sure they are not
quite so mad as some of the and editorial col
umns, and anything is relief from the per
petua wrange about Russians and Turks.
From funerals to weddings Is, at any rate,
but short STEP and it is Just possible that some
body in America may have personal interest IN the
casual remark of Mr.. Tobias jacobson. residing Mt
Berlip, late of NewYork, that he and Rosalie Apt,
widow of the Merchant Graetz. at Berlin. intend to
enter WcdlOck together. Any objections to this
marriage" says Tobias, who certainly seems TO ex-
pect some, should be made according to the Ger
man Imperial Law. of Feb. g. 1875, to the Konigl,
Standesamt, Berlin" a piece of information for
which Ncw-York lawyer might charge you a con-
siderable sum of money.
Ii may be said in q general way, that yOu do not
know the resources of the English Tor American)
language till you have sounded the depths of the
advertising mind. People who pay so much line
for the privilege Of stating certain facts to the rest
of the world might be expected to be both clear and
brief. They are often nothing of the kind. What
can be made of this for nstancei
DRIGHTON.-A lady who may have pros
but fears the expenses OF housekeeping
iisement Letters addressed to Mrs II, 40 W street.
Brighton. will be forwarded
Or why should mani beg his pardon. he adyer
tses as gentleman which is a very different thing
a gentleman, then, who wants a place rs book
keeper think it needful to explain that after long
residence abroad be purposes remaining in England
and will be glad to engage himself few hours each
day "fOr moderate emolument ?" Is moderate
emOlument more gentlemanly than low salary
And into what abyss Of poverty has the poor devil
tumbled who tells us he was lately captain in the
army, with thorough knowledge of French and a
University degree, and now wants employment rs
an amanuensisi lie does not like his neighhOr,
offer TO send his "photo" | suspect you may
fad many catastrophe hidden even in the want
places" have known of a case lately where a
man applied for a situation valet or butler, whose
Language and appearance led to inquiries. and the
inquiries finally to an admission that he had never
lived in service was in fact, gentleman by birth
and position but was pennilcSs, and after trying for
some hing else in vain, was reduced TO seek work as
gcntlemans gentleman. No doubt lie might have
Put in an application for schoolmastershp at the
traditional $40 year. advertised in the same
paper and starved respectfully on that.
The press has grown 10 be so much Of what we
call an institution that il has whole set of adVer-
t.scmcnts 10 itself partly to itself and partly in
|
made of quite new departments of intellectual
effort. or at least Of new words for old work. DO
Won know what "dctee" is Have you got such
n thing about your Office, or should you suppose
it was modern English FOR secretary or ananuensis!
less mysterious perhaps, is the applicant for en-
ployment as verbatim note-taker. rapid transcript
and fair descriptive writer And there are always
not only newspaper men for hire, but newspaper and
other literary properties for sale and purchase.
Here is man (probably mad who wants to buy
| good and well-estabshed monthly magazine. Here.
on the other hand is illustrated journal Of ic-
ton TO he had for nothing or, IN the language
of its self-sacriicing owner, obtainabie without
purchase and published under exceptional advan-
tages" II appears, however that $500 are pre-
snmably required to make this publication quite
sncccssfulD Where this treasure is published we
are not told but the advertiser dates from the re-
Mote wilderness of BrXtoD. But locality is moth
ing was told yesterday by the editor OF one OF the
most successful OF the London magazines that he
was constantly receiving contributions and pro-
posals of all sorts from the most savage and Sc
cluded parts OF the world. One of the most gifted
writers of the western part Of Arkansas had lately
favored him with an epic poem OF 2,COO lines,
hostage unpsd. with full instructions for remting
fine remuneration But tins ungrateful editor hosi-
ta.es about printing, and will doubtless seek to ap
pease his correspondent with the frivolous pretext
that the poem is too long. Could henot leave some
thing else out
Even here, however in the midst of nero bnsi-
naes tbe war makes itself heard. There are books
about it, Of course, and the advertisements OF ne"
publications may be Stunned by man VINO wants
TO get rid Of the din. Bat the Turk meets you at the
most unexpected corners. Here he is among the
picturcs-" Grand Historical Work of Art by John
Wyck the Turks Being Driven Out OF Europe by
Sobeski in 1885," which they were not, morc's
,be nitv Ont OF four successive IN muscal advertise