St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1878-04-19
Squibs.

Do not love your neighber as your
self. Her husband might not like it.
Buffalo Express.
They ale very particular-they
wouldn't allow mail-wagon to stop
opposite the women's hotel in New
York.
An Englishman committed suicide be-
cause his wife was too good for him.
The rest of us should be vaccinated at
once.-Ddnbury Nelos.
A negro teamster in Nashville de-
clares that he must either give up driv-
ing mules or withdraw from the church,
the two positions being Incompatible.
Mr.. Nettle was recently married to
Miss Thorn. That's what you might
call prickly pair.
Little Alice's grandfather is almost
centenarian. One of her companions
one day asked her: "How old is your
grandpa ?" Hush ~ says she, ''Don't
speak so loud. believe God has fol-
gotten him."
1t was about this time of the year
that Eve made the remark which has
been handed down through so many
generations: "We can never be any-
body if we don't go to some watering
place, and you know it, Adam yet you
have the audacity to sit there and talk
of hard times."- ."-Graphic.
The times are hard-everybody saws
sO-but the wages of sin have not been
cut down.-ChriStian at Work.
1t is to be hoped that Congress will
soon see the propriety of adjourning, to
the end that the telegraphic instru-
ments needed for the transmission of
base ball news may not be occupied by
/ Washington Matters Worcester Press.
The early strawberry at a dollar a
quart, puts on aTistOcTatic airs and
looks with scOrn and contempt upon
hungry humanity. By July he will get
down from his lofty eminence and hide
himself between the strata of a fifteen
cent saleratus shOrtcake, and howl for
a custOmer.-Puck.
An exchange "wants to know why.
if skirts are unhealthy, the ladies who
discard them in behalf of pantaloons
are invariably the scrawniest and SPAR
est-faced, the most slab-sided and
match figured, the snarlingest and dys-
pepticest and uninvitingest of their
sex ?"
When Jonah interviewed the whale,
And haunted his Intervals,
As erst it is recorded in
The truthfulest of journals
What monarch did he symbolizef
"a fartetched joke you'll style it,
1t seems to us he might have been
A sort of paunch's pilot
Yonkers Gazette.
Hugh Hastings, of the New York
commercial Advertiser, writes to the
Washington Post to deny that he has
son in the Attorney Generals office,
saying: my boys are all girls. If ther e
is any young man holding a position in
the office of the Uuited States Attorney
General, who gives out that he is son
of mine, must say that his mother has
passed entirely out of my recollection. :"
"Who," said Mr.. Peter Mitchell. a
member of the Canadian House of Com
mons, to the members who were trying
by Interruptions to choke him off, 'whO
brayed there ?" ''It was an eche,n re-
torted member, amid yell of de-
light.
whats de time o. day ole oman P''
said cOlored countryman to Aunt
Mllly yesterday, trying to poke fun at
the brass chain that held her front door
key around that young lady's neck.
''LOok at de town clock, chile. Dat's
built for POI folks" Vicksburg Herald.
: Bob Ingersoll asked a preacher
whether the fatted calf was male or fe-
male. Female, of course" replied the
preacher, "for / am now talking to the
male," which was considered an excel,
lent sell on the wicked Bob.