The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-05-30
SELLS

1t would puzzle philosopher to- give
an exact definition of the ''scl.' Nearly
related to the hoax, it differs from it in
being more innocent in its inception and
less mischievous in its consequences.
Some little ingenuity is required to con
coct happy SELL but any one may
perpctrate hoax who is equal to "lend-
ing lie the confidence of truth The
latter is n deliberately planned deception,
oftenest attaining its end by personation
of forgery or something closely akin to
it; whereas sell needs no such playing
with edged tools, and may not only be
unprecedented, but even unintentinpal.
The Irshman who undertook to show
an excisoman private still, and intro
duced him to his brother, who had been
twelve years in the army and WAS pri-
waite still, sold the guardian If the revenue
very neatly; although it is possible the
victim of the Joke did not see thc nn
of the thing, any more than the o1irHI #
the n rth London Railway CompauN dat,
when uvcrhcauug n third.C!ass passcrgcr
aver that any one could travel from Broad
street To Dalston junction without a
ticket, rs he had done only the day be-
fore he interviewed him when he alighted
The Traveller not proving communicative,
the Jealous railway servant conveyed a
coin into his hand, and then asked "How
did YOU 90 from Broad street to Daston
Junction yesterday without a ticket ~
"Oh," was the unwelcome reply, II
walkcdl'
As readily trapped was the ameteur
4 tn h. Il
ment: "Wantcd, - trombone player for
Barnum's Balcony Band by waiting
upon the lannon's Snowman without delay.
"You want trombone-player" in
quired he.
"Ycs," said Mr.. Barnum.
"What is the place worthl' asked the
applicant.
"Oh, about twenty five dollars a week,
suppose
"Nery we'll | should like it."
"All right, said Mr. Baruum; and the
trombone did frightful execution through
the week. Saturday came, and with it
Mr.. Green for his salary. instead of
drawing which. he received n paper ON
which Was written: "Mr. Green To Mr..
p. T. Barnum. To playing the from
bone on his balcony one week, twenty
five dollars" The recipient smiled.
"lt's all right, i,u't itt' asked NJ.
Bsrnum
"Why," said the musician, "you We
made an odd mistake; you've made me
the debtor instead of you"
mo mistake at ALL" said Bsrnum.
"You see, this is how it is. There sie s
great many men in this city fond 81
practicing on brass instruments but
they cannot do SO At home because o.
their neighbors' objections. 81 | fad
them room on my balcony during -
many hours u day, where the street is So
noisy II does no harm, aud they give me
SO much a week for my trouble in keep
ing the organization complete. You
don't think me such 4 fool as to pay such
wretched lot Of players sureIyt How
ever, AS you seem to have been honestly
mistaken, you can pay me ten dollars
this week, but hereafter can make no
reduction There was a vacancy In
the balcony band the following Monday.
We take it that the shrewd Snowman
was not quite SO much astonished at the
way his advertisement WAS misconstrued,
as one A b, who recognizing a long io.t
friend in the stalls of the theatre. but un-
able to catch his eve. notified In the
agony" columu # the Times, 1T the
gentleman who was in the stalls At toe
- Theatre on the evening of the 9Th
inst, will write to the following address.
he will hear from the Blk above ami
received nearly score OF replies. The
first he opened, rsu. Ms Dear Madam
cannot express T. you how delighted
felt this morning on taking up the Time,
and reading yvur Advertisement How
exceedingly kind and thoughtful Of you
10 communicate with ne in this way.
Pray. let me know IS Quickly a. possible
when and where may see you. Can We
meet this EVENING" Do send ME = note.
or better sjill, telegram, here, on re-
ceipt Of this-Yours Most Aaectiouately
The second letter. commencing Mia
Carissims." suggested a meeting al the
Duke OF Iorss Colamn, ard ended !:
GOOD bye, pet Yours ever and day
The Gentleman in the stalls third
deluded mortal declared that he had not
slept wink after seeing "A. b. a, the
theatre. You know Who informed the
dearest Being. whose image he still
saw before him, that his passion was much
too much for ordinary words to tell;
that after wandering ali his life, mixing