Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1878-02-09
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.

Bad cooking spoils good food.
Gotham has fourteen daily papers.
The pretticst girls go begging-at
church fairs.
1t is the Cars treat, and he orders
up the Porte.
The Pope may yet outivc the Sick
Man of the East.
Thomas Lord will not lecture !;
not if Mrs. Hicks knows it.
More lawsuits than love suits are
brought 0n by attachment.
1t looks as though thcologians were
leaving bell out in the cold.
A Washington tobacconist bears
the appropriate name Of Plug.
Lawyers should sleep well; it is
immaterial on which site they lie.
A reporter says at takes lager
drinker to haul schooner over u
bar"
mankind" said preacher, "in-
cludes woman, for man embraces
woman
Postmaster General Key is not a
silver money man. He sticks TO post
age stamps.
New song by lady-"Be it ever
so humble there is no place like the
neighbor's.'
afkile English cows go tor thou
sands Of guineas, Irish bulls only
fetch a laugh.
There are those who think a club
for young men is good thing if
properly used.
They now call it "adjourned to
meet in Canada" when defaulting
official skips out.
The way Oregonians greet each
other nowadays: How are you,
stick in the mudi"
Do not hirt with married women.
1t annoys their husbands and may
shorten your days.
An Indian girl has made her debut
In Toledo as an actress. She played
Black-eyed Sioux-san.
Many middle-aged unmarried la
dies forget that they were young and
pretty themselves once.
The Boston Herald thinks Beecher
is not to blame for abolisbing hell.
He did it in self-defense.
A great many drug dealers have
failed lately. 1t was physically i'm
possible for them to go on.
A little fellow put in shirt much
too large tor him said: "Ma, feel
awful lonesome In this shirt"
Astonished Englishman "Iof
course there's ell. Wat would the
halpbabet be without a helf"
"There is no allusion to old maids
in the Bible" Aud yet they were
men stunned just as much as now.
1t may souLd like a paradox, yet
the breaking of both wings of an
army is pretty sure way of making
it fly.
England and Austria didn't care to
take hand in the war, but they both
want finger in the peace negotia-
tions.
A London, Ontario, man was fined
five dollars for swearing on the street
on Sunday. This suggests a masnifi-
cent chance for Chicago to clear off
its debt.
A man has been arrested for hit
ting another over the head with II
Dulch cheese, and that's sweitzer
matter.
All fire insurance companies are
now willing to take risks against the
lake of fire and birthstone that burn
eth forever.
Nobody can tell how many ditputes
for the front side of the bed have
been settled by moving the bedsteads
IN the centre of the room.
A man has Just been promising to
pay that little bill on the Goth day of
February, and the collector went
away satisfied for the time being.
The Bonner who ran away from
New York is not the owner Of Dex-
ter, although he slipped dexterously
away from his creditors, and made
good time on the Canada stretch.
Now listen. Why are the journals
that run down Mark Twain like "a
michigan town9 Well, as you may
not have a map of that State handy,
we Will give the solution, which is
that they Mount CIemaoa