Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1878-11-13
Humorous.

AHo ui"u VIII HAS pSISiStSueiN SiOScu
the door all summer now leaves it wide
open.-Boston Transcript.
Tanning ones self IL like chewing
gum-the more WI do it, the more yu
want to.
A Colorado girl, Miss Eunice Stone,
always kisses the editor she visits. Oh.
Eu-nice Stone.
a man who is intimate ON short &C.
quaintance is usually "short" on in
innate experimentation Globe.
Natural Selection-When boarder,
six months in arrears, helps himself to
beets.- Stamford Adrocote.
Doomed for n certain time to walk
the night. The bed.bug III search of
Observation-Disclosures Chronicle.
Straddling Blind--This phrase prob
ably refers to equestrian exercise on n
sightless horse.-Boston Transcript.
Consistency, thou art a Jewell" as
the office boy said when he got the
paste the right thickness. -Boston Tran
script
Hungry traveler--"Fir of ALL have
you solc?' Irish landlady-"A sowl,
is it? Now, do l look like haste ~
Fun.
1t is said of n successful writer
whose verbal promises are very poor:
"His pen is mightier than his word."-
Brooklyn Union Argus.
Mr.. Edison is II wonderful man, but
we can never believe that mere case
Of neuralgia resulted in n underground
boy.-BuBdlo Express.
A patent medicine advertiser says fat
is not conducive to long life. That is
so. A fat hog rarely lives through the
winter Turner'S Falls Reporter.
There wouldn't have been any milk
in the cocoanut if some of our dairy
men had the construction of it.-Cn-
cinaai Saturday Night.
The new snake-skn shoes that the
Paris women are wearing realize the
bruising of woman's heel by the serpent.
PHILADELPHIA Bulletin.
Hubism )" is assuredly intuitive A
little Beacon street year-old asked his
aunt if she thought he could be as hap
by in heaven as in Boston.
The wise man placeth the stock of
his gun to his shoulder before he iireth,
but the fool looketh down the barrel to
see the ball start.-Rome Sentinel
She was boss of charity committee,
and naturally took calico quilt and
secondhand saucepan to family that
hadn't tasted food for three days.
care you ready to die?' asks tract
sent to this Office. No, not yet; we
want to see how Ben. Butler makes it
down in Massachusetts, this fall.-Mds.
siAon Ohio) Independent. ....
ave don't know everything" re-
marked the professor, "and we don't
find many that claim to, except now
and then one or two in the sophomore
class"
Seafaring person crushing to little
Todger, who has just proposed, and is
waiting for her answer: Was you the
gent, sir, as the steward said was took
bad"
EYES," said lawyer who was de-
Tending n murderer, the prisoner at
the bar will prove an abb. Gentlemen,
we shall prove that the murdered man
wasn't there"
Autumn poetry and opinions of emf
nent persons concerning yellow fever,
its probable cause and certain cure,
should be handed in before snow comes
ifintended for publication.-Nep Orleans
Picayune.
Parson (sternly) -"How could you
come to church to be married to man
in such state rs that?' Bride weep
ing)-"It was not my fault, sir. never
can get him to come when he's sober"
Punch
A painters apprentice fell off n scat
fold with pot of paint in each hand.
He was taken up insensible, but as soon
as he was restored to consciousness he
murmured: ~ went down with flying
colors, anyhow"
"What does transatlantic mean,
mammal" "Across the Atlantic, child.
Hold your tongue, and ask no more
questions "Then does transparent
mean cross mammal" Has to for
felt her slate, and stand in the corner)
A country damsel, describing her
first kiss, told her female friend that
she never knew how it happened, but
the last thing she remembered was
sensation of fighting for her breath in a
dollhouse full of violets, with ventilation
checked by blush-roses and tulips.
A kind father of Southboro', Mass,
man well to do, took his sick son to a
doctor last week, and told him if he
could cure the boy for less than the
cost of a funeral to go ahead, but if he
couldn't the youth must take his
chances.