Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1878-03-27
HuuliOr.

HumOr.
loft Davis denies that crinoline story
IN It was eurbelow his dignity
Boston Poa.
A voungster in a runaway carriage
..as asked if he was afraid. He sid,
MTol hut I'm afraid / shall be-"
The Father of his Country" hasn't
monument as yet; but there is a
h,rglar-alarm connected with his tomb.
Always brag after you have done
something. 1t is much better than
hragping of actions you are too coward
ly to perform.
An abandoned wretch affirms that in
engaging wife only ring is necessary;
bnt nothing short of the cash will secure
A good hired girl.
Saws Charles O'Connor, " No guilty
reTson should ever plead guilty. He's
oct as many chances before a jury as a
neriectly innocent man."
The religion of some people IS like
the old farmers, who said, My doctrine
Is true. know it is true, and yet I'd
Give that yoke Of oxen to be sure of it"
Texas man got mad because
waiter handed him !, napkin the other
dav, He said he "reckoned he know'd
when to use Handkerchief without
hayin' no hints thrown out"
.Is there hell?" asks Canon Farrar.
Well, Canon, just you get home from
the lodge about l A. M, without a latch
kew, and see for yourself.-N. Y. Com
macial.
"How long are you going to stay
here?" "Why. my little DEAR"
"'Cause Pm hungry, and mamma says
we shall have dinner as soon as that
dreadful nuisance goes away"
An exchange has a column entitled
"Minor News Items" 1t appears to be
the editors rule to let anything into it
that is less than twenty-five years Old
Brooklyn Union Argus.
Once in while a man is met who
cheerfully says that he is doing as much
business as can be expected, and that is
the kind of men the country needs to
see more Of
"My DEAR" said wife to her hus-
band, won't you just stop again and
get me some more worsted as you come
home this EVENING"" with pleasure"
responded the husband; ii like to
trade with that pretty girl who tends the
worsted counter" That put stop to
his worsted trade.
Miss Blair WAS one of the most beati-
full girls in Atlanta when Mr.. Wether-
stone engaged to marry her: but after
wards she fell down stairs, broke her
nose, and was distigured for life. Mr..
Wetherstone now refuses to marry her,
Saying that she is damaged article.
1t has been discovered at the station
houses that there are sixteen different
methods of spelling the word soup. All
OF them have z as one of the essential
elements. Here they are: Soup, cupe,
Supe, soop, soape, soupe, coupe, soup,
sewp, coup, sup, sup, soup, supp,
soWp, supp.
A somewhat novel editorial difficulty
was announced in an Indiana paper as
follows: We have to apologize to our
readers for the paucity of matter in to-
uay issue, IN consequence of some of
our staff having absconded after having
uraWn more pay than was due to them"
II you want to keep your boys at
nome make 1t pleasanter for him than
lle street. Certainly. Chalk a Lop-
scoich IN the hall, put hogshead of
1lolasses on tap in the kitchen, have
uuosnght IN the backyard, make
pully slide " on the cellar door, have
haho-organ and monkey in the recep-
lion-room. and German band on the
1'alrS' Hire a "Geevus " to be chaffed.
let the boy chalk callers backs on the
Ist OF April, throw his baseball through
sne windows, ring the bells, and run
SSw Nny and plug" the cook with fish
ualls sunday mornings: but even then
aou Will nave to engage a circus or
great moral show" to drive through
we premises two or three times in the
St 10 make it pleasanter than the
'''ee'' '-Boston Commercial Bulletin.
THE GOAT OF MY CHILDHOOD.
When f TO my heart is the goat of my childhood
'He beautiful beast viii oh when'er ha ,ros lid
!, would A0 was iHou
Nv ase every thing fly from the presence OF he
That a n,e'9us goat was the frOwiest butter
He'd 800 =, oiu putt stone fence till 1t fell
Thor ~ Somlng-a scream he wOlld utter
O h prace his four legs and 90 AZ n neil mel,
IL H." ne would buck it! An iron. bound hucret
urea 10 buckit and died in the we'll
Reformed Husband.
Cleveland Post.