Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-10-13
Miscellaneous Items.

A justice of the peace in Arizona ruled
OUT the evidence OF ali the witnesses.
chased both lawyers out doors, knocked
| the plaintiff over bench, and decided
| mo cause for action"
| There isn't much difference between an
old Roman soldier and a cannibal who
mas lust dlned on a nice young female
Missionary, Tor the former was a gladia-
'or, and the latter is glad-he ate-her toe.
a young lady of six summers, in the
southern part of the city, rushed into her
mothers presence on Sunday last, with
the remark, "Mother, woRaers will never
cease!' why my dear?n why, Mr.. and
Mrs. ". are sitting on the porch talking
just as sweet as though they weren't
married!''
A Mount Aubin gentleman pointed out
the constellation of the "Dipper' to his
little girl the other night so plainly that
she caught the idea. and afcer looking
upon it with much interest for minute
turned and said NOV, papa, show me
the Observation-Disclosures Table,
An indifferent actor was playing Othel-
10 at the Dunedid Theatre. When he
came to the passage, 80, that men should
put an enemy in their mouths to steal
away their brainsr stentorian voice
roared from the gallery, "All right, old
fellow, drink away you're SAFE
CARRIED BY "a LARGE MAJORITY"
He pressed her to his manly breast
She seconded the motion.
His lips on hers he fondly pressed.
There was slight commotion.
pll put the question now. sail he,
That you and be married;
He voted aye" and AYE" said she
-Decided-vote was carried,
He was bachelor, had travelei ex-
tenslvely, and could speak any language,
dead OF alive. HierogIyphics were moth
ing to him. But when he returned home
the other day, and talked to his SISTERS
| baby, and when it cried and was pacified
| by its mother saying, did his naughty.
wauty uncle wunkle come honey womev
and scarey warey my little putsey wut-
sey'-he just leaned over the back o, the
chair and wept.
lie was an entire stranger to the girls
present, and the boys were mean and
would not Introduce him. He finally
plucked up courage, and stepping up to
young lady, requested the pleasure of
her company for the next dance. She
looked at him in surprise, and informed
HIM she had not the pleasure of his ac-
quaintance. ''Well," remarked Cazano-
via, you don't take any more chances
| than do"
Fact. Lady going a.ong the street
t'other day, 'Maclatea boy pathetically
accosts her:-"Please, mum, WON'T yer
gimme a penny to buy some breada
Haint had nuthin' t'eat all day. Moth
ers sick and fathea's dead. Please mump'
Have nothing for you 'Maciated
| boy trots feebly along side, tearfully re-
peating his affecting story. Lady gets
tired, says, mo, little boy! And don't
want you running after me" Hump!
| Need't be so d-n stiff about it!n Lady
turns round and sees maciated boy
standing on his head against wall
Philadelphia Bulletin.
A minister's life has frequent disap
pointments. During the great revival a
stolid, matter-of-fact farmer went into
the inquiry room, and was at once taken
in hand by anxious and jealous workers.
He seemed to be visibiy affected by the
hymn that was sung, and after the prayer
one or two tears were apparently discov-
cred. When asked, Brother, do you feel
any change9' he made rapid and in
stinctive movement of his hand in the
direction of his vest-pocket. and then set
thing back in his chair with sigh, re-
piled, "Not cent; that's just what I'm
after"
The practice of widow retaining her
superior title on her second marriage oc-
| casionly leads to awkward mistakes. Not
long ago gentleman who had opposed
lady with handle to her name was trav-
cling in the north, and entered in the
visitors book at a hotel in Edinburg:
Mr.. and the Countess of -"
Presently the Ian llord asked to see the
gentleman privately, and Cd lis reques-
being gratified, scandalized the unfortu-
nate bridegroom by saying: You ken,
| sir, am mon of the world like YOUR
self, and dinna you think you had better
| just put Mr.. and Mrs., if its only for
the looks of the thing"
A friend of mine, a native physician,
was called in few days ago by Turk,
and found him dying Of dyspepsia, aris-
ing from torpor of mind and body. He
advised him to ride. II don't like rid
ing," said the patient. "Then," said the
physician, 'spend few hours every morn
Ing in your harem." 81 hate my b arem,
was the answer. ''Then," said the PHYS
clan, ''count your money few hours
81 don't care about money" said the pa
tent. "Then." said the physician, chang
yourself, for how can life be endurable to
a man VINO does not core for his horse. or
his wife or his money!" -FortnigAay R.
! eteu.