Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-05-08

! damp, warm seasons, can these hosts
commit to any serious extent their de-
yastatlons. Christian Standard.
| Humor.
/ A neat foot-a cows.
Good name for wood-cutter.
Hugh.
Every dove has cote, and every dog
pants Whitehall Times
In what place are two heads better
than one? In a barrel.
A French wit says that friendship be-
tween women Is only suspension of
| hostilities ~ l.t 6l)ll
Why call her girl of the period when
| she refuses to come to full stop
Rome Sentinel
| The fat girl of Iowa is dead She
measured seven feet around the waist,
and was never completely Rugged.
England may be mistress of the
Cs," but she has never been able to
fairly master the Hs.-N Y. Mail.
Charitable lady" Poor man! if it
were possible to procure work what
=" Ladies' companion num-"
Twenty-Five thousand Russians have
| arrived at Tehataldja. We don't pro-
nounce this canard. for we can ardly
pronounce it at all.-N. Y. News.
A facetious old gentleman, who
thought his two sons consumed too
much time in hunting and shooting,
styled them Nimrod and Ramrod.
Marriage Pooh! don't men-shun
it ?" exclaimed the maiden aunt. "In-
deed they DON'T" replied her lovely
niece.
The Worcester Press says there is
some sort of reason in Rhode Islands
opposition to the silver dollar of our
daddies. The coin takes up room.
An English donkey mot man, but
real Donkey had fight with ram.
The donkey killed the ram. This
shows that the " finis' Of donkey is
more powerful than the preface of
RAM"
We saw a young man with two heads
on his shoulder the other day, but
didn't consider it much of curiosity.
One belonged to his girl-Bekshire
Courier
The tendency of clubs in all times
has been to destroy our youth. Hardly
had our first ancestors been driven from
Eden before Abel, young man, was
killed by club.
A clever minister recently said: "The
will be thing of the past" The ex--
MI Of fn he HoH
fornian was, " Because there will be.
nothing left to steal"
A paper recently published the fol-
lowing item: GA deaf man, named
Taft, was recently run down by a pas
senger train and killed on Wednesday
morning. He was injured in similar
way about year ago"
! Science Made Easy-Friend to scien--
tific authority: Doctor, how is man
/ to tell mushroom from toadstool?"
| Scientific authority: "By eating it..
If you live, it is a mushroom; if you
die, it is a toadstool.
An exchange makes this pathetic
appeal: sT{E EgFT
IL "Iceman, spare our purse;
I Raise not your prices higher;
! You're making matters worse,
g. au Thus freezing out each buyer"
! IA news item says that an English
traveller in the Holy Land has discoy-
/ cred Jacobs WE'LL The Oil City Der
rick says: ave are glad to hear it. A
lrumor has been a1oat for some time
that Jacob was dead"
A lady said that this was theffnest
compliment which she had ever re-
ceiyed: She was on horseback, 5and as
she rode past an Irishman, who was
standing by the roadside, she heard him
say: Il wisht' was in prison for the
stating ov ye."
Fl When reproyed for failing to- keep an
engagement with another gentleman,
brave but devoted Utica husband re-
Piled "My dear sir, my intentions
We're excellent, but. a man with a red
haired wife is stable to break, many an
hengag EN- emit against his swillv'A~ Utica
Herald.
| A boy came along to one Of our
neighbor's, houses holding a very dirty
dog, and asked, the gentleman of the
house: /" Don't you want to buy a dog,
Mister p What kind of a dog is it?'
asked the gentleman The boy looked
puzzled. /" Well" said he, it is part
terrier, :. :s'And what's the rest?'
asked the, gentleman. The rest
answered the boy, why, the rest isis
ljust dog ih.ts...a.sos5 e~ts~s5.a
i During a. dinner the conversation
happened to fall on household affairs.
A gentleman said carelessly: !" 1t is
very disagreeable to be obliged to dis
miss an old servant, but still Unjust get
rid ofamy valet de chambre." @Why?"
"Ihave been looking for a foot bath
forsthe last eight years. He has never
thought Of it, and really | cannot do
without one any longer 'aa9i7eaA
EITAN Il z
A manufacturing corporation at Fall
3sRixer, eMasss.@ figured their business SC,
4closel yaas to know exaoely When it was
1 rIeeessarv To aedcegtho>lsaees of their
FopaSatDsss bstgers hlindehougb to all
1 laMstha igs treassp rag TO dsfaQh to-, half a