The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1878-04-13
Sundries.

onc rainy night recently tnere was Il Sranu
wrestling match between two able-bodied ath-
letes; one a north side carpenter and the other Il
Sd ward horse tanner. The scene was in the rear
Of Mikes. The audience consisted of IA bob-tailed
dog-an exceedingly ornary and rather much
b0b-bed dorg was he. The other portion OF the
audience was a slim youth with an adolescent
moustache whose first name is X. He held the
stakes, umpilcd, bossed the job and was the re-
turning board. At the word go" they went and
wallowcd in the mud to such an extent that when
the umpire saw them in the light he couldn't
tell tother from which," and now they threaten
to wrcstle him for the stake Money
During the past few days, as the Texas editor
once said, "The wind just got up on its hind legs
and howlcd"'
The glass blowers have night yellist He goes
around at from II midnight To > \. VI. armed with
a club and Il voice like locomotive whistle or
la for horn. lie visits the house of the sleeping
blower and pounds upon the door or coal.shed or
wherever he can make the most noise, and raises
up that tenor yawp Of his to such an extent that
he can be heard from Utica TO Seneca, depending
upon the direction of the wind He wallens the
cats and babies all over town. sets the ROSTERS to
growing and the dogs to yclping. The other
morning Naughey at Seneca heard the stentoran
screech of this improved telephone and mistook
it for that of his opponent in law case. Spring
ing out Of bed the Seneca lawyer exclaimed, "If
the court please, ! deny those allegations and
defy the alligator"
Dug Frank and George three noted snpc
shooters, went out on grand hunt for the pur-
pose Of discriminating all of these pestilential
birds. They-thc hunters, not the snpe-report-
ed that they had shot Cor scared to DEATH 1,l24
birds. personal inspection of the captured
game disclosed: one rabbit-too weak to have
out-run the dog; one crow; , snow birds; a
couple Of tame pigeons and pee-wec. They also
peppered one Of Joe Watts black hogs full of
shot, installing that patient beast for a bear. We
have since learned that "Dug" shot snipe,
Frank secured the tail feathers of one and the
other was found sitting on log with flask in
one hand and snipe in the other and he couldn't
decide which he had shot,
At the temperance meeting at the VI. Z. church
the other evening, a well-known photographer
and Il popular auctionccr were advertised to
speak, but neither appeared. Just think Of the
cloquence which the audience were deprived Of!
Then, on the other side, remember the danger to
the church, Of raising the roof and blowing out
the windows Thus it is, that silence is often the
perfection Of eloquencc.
Mr.. Adams, of Leland, and his assistant II. 0.
Spencer, were here trying to sell lot Of buggieS
which they had on Court street on exhibition
Wednesday. If they would give away buggy
and throw in horse we might afford to take one
Our old reporter, in pursuit of items yesterday,
struck snag. He met diabolical party named
Swipes and asked for news. Swipes assumed an
air Of deep thought and then unwrinkling his
corrugated brow, led the pencil jerkst a half
block around the corner, evidently to commun-
cate intelligence fearfully private, and he wills
pered to his victim "Noah's ark has been miss
ing ever since the food and it is supposed that
Noah is dead" The remains OF Swipes will be
found by the Coroner in the alley back of Gillen's
store.
Picture it, think of it, don't take drink Of ii,
nor even wink at it, if you have red ribbon on
because there are only sirtydFc saloons in Ottawa.
Every educated dog that can read and write will
thank Ills for calling attention to the notice in an
other column which requires them to put on n
muzzle or get shot on the spot.
| MARRlED-At Whites Hotel, on Tuesday, April
9th, by c. NJ. Rees, Esq, Mr.. Henry Hoganson
to Miss Helen williamson both of the town Of Mil
Ter. 1t will be observed from the names that the
happy couple had son each before their mar
rigc, and now they have only onc! Goodness
gracious! what will happen to them next?
The editors and proprictors of the Pedutk As.
toashc, will hold grand reception at their print
| ing rooms on Monday, April 18th, and cordially
invite the public to entrance the opportunity to
view the Model Printing House of Central llli-
nois. All Of their numerous presses will be run
ming and the compositors will be setting and dis
trbuting type. One or two of the blacksmith
shops of the same settlement will also hold re-
ccptiOns on the same day.