The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1878-06-29
SMILES.

1t is the break of the day that pre-,
vents night from going too far.
The Indian question-Canoe hear the
birch bark ?-Neto York NeaOs.
1T is an encouraging sign of the times
that American women are exhibiting
such tendency to gros grain.
"THE boy who stood on the burning
deck yes, and that is another thing
we need in this country-more burning
decks.
WHY ought poultry-keeping to be
most profitable business? Because for
every grain you give fowl it gives
peck.
In making strawberry short-cake
care should be taken to have the berries
in excess of the saleratus. Danbury
NeDs.
IT'S sweet when the berries ripe,
And the lily pods bend meath the snipe
To sit at your ease
With your fair Eloise,
And give the mosquito wipe.
ARE watermelons heavy ?-Detroit Free
Press. We have known them to grow to
an enormous size, which would seem to
indicate that they are of at least ord
nary good health Chicago journal.
A MAN reading that the Paris exhb.
bition requires an area of 642, 900 metres
exclaimed, What gas bill they must
have to pay!"-Cincinnati Saturday
Night.
WOMEN have no taste for solitude,
however elegant. For wo-
men banker after heritage-unless, in
deed, it is to be shared by hermit
Graphic.
CHOW had you the audacity, john"
said Scottish laird to his servant, "to
go and tell some people that was
mean fellow and no gentleman?" "Na,
ma, sir" was the candid answer, "youll
no catch me at the like O that | aye
keep my thoughts to myself"
WE are informed that " the price of
diamonds was never so low as at present,
and now is favorable time to purchase
them" This is welcome news. We
shall take our market basket this even
ing and 60 out and purchase our next
winters stock.-EG.
CANVAS suspenders now seem to be
worn by most ali ladies. There's no
"give" to them, and that's the reason
you occasionally hear a button fly off
when lady grabs for her skirt. Now
they will be called canvas-back ducks
worse'n ever.
"WHAT's thatp he asked his land
lady, as she set his cup by his plate.
Coffee" was the prompt and decisive
reply. "Ah," innocently remarked the
boarder, with an air of interest, "and
what is it made Off" And there was
silence around the table for the space of
half an hour.
A GENIUS down east intends applying
for a patent OIL machine which, he
says, when wound up and in motion,
will chase a hog over ten-acre lot,
catch, yoke and ring him; or by a slight
change of gearing, it will chop him into
sausages, work his bristles into shoe
brushes, and manufacture his tail into a
corkscrew.
A GENTLEMAN married his servant.
A short time after their union he gave
an evening party. Conversation flag
ging, silence reigned, when one off the
ladies said, awful pausel" The lady
of the house Immediately exclaimed,
lawful paws, indeed So would you
have awful paws if you had done the
dirty work in your life that have!"
AT ball. Elderly lady, kind-hearted
as the day is long, endeavors to draw out
youthful gawky from the country who
is making wall flower Of himself:
"Pray, Mr.. Jones, do amuse yourself.
Dance in the next quadrille with me-"
ooh, thanks-that is to say mean
in fact, you see, | never learned to
dance, and at your age it would be no
use my beginning. you know" (Glares
and breathes hard.)
"SUPPosE," said an Iowa lawyer to
witness he was trying to badger recent
ly, "suppose l should tell you that [
could bring dozen men of your town
to the court room who would say they
would not believe you on oath, what
would you say" And calmly the wit
ness made reply: 81 would say you
lied" A gentle smile diffused itself all
over the court room, and the unruf1ed
witness stepped down.
HOME SCENE-Husband entering and
throwing himself languidly upon the
sofa, as he wiped the perspiration from
his brow: go, dear, business is killing
me, ! am SO tired" Wife, jumping for
pillow: clay down there like good,
tie four-year-old daughter: go, papa,
fought 'ood be awful tired after [ saw
700 carrying the new hired girl all bout
the titchen." Tableau, blue fire, ETC.,
etc.
Miss KELLOGG says newspaper men
are just like lemons-ft only to be
squeezed as m; ch as possible, then tossed
aside. You Just keep your distance,
Clara Kellogg. Police-police Buffalo
Express. Fire! Thieves! Murder
N. Y. Com. Quit! He, he, he, no, no!
Git out.-Bosfon Globe. Ali Oh! Have
done now, Clara Louise We had no
idea you were so strong in the arms-go
way! you've tumbled our neck-tie ter
tom Com. Bulletin. Well, then, only one
now-sh-h-there, dog gone it all, Clara,
you've walked the baby.-Bortlngton
HdWkeye.
AT one time an actor supporting Barry
Sullivan murdered Shakespearean line
SO atrociously that the embittered star
informed him in stage whisper he was
dufer. The person addressed possessed
one accomplishment, however; 1t was the
art of dancing a jig. am dutfeIr,
am II" he said, and straightway proceed
ed, to the mingled establishment ana
wrath of Sullivan, to indulge IN some
fantastic steps, thereby bringing down
house evidently inclined to CONSIDER II d
new rendering of Shakespeare. iu 81
| ed with the exertlon and us success, 'lo
uncrushed surveyed the amazeo erage'
dian. $50 am dut1er, am IL