The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-10-24


Preachers will earn their salaries this
month. There are five Sundays in it.
Edison has been on d bust That is.
he had II plaster bust of himself
taken.
six into four, you can't" as the
shoemaker mildly suggested to the lady
customer.
Rsters. --Rochester Chronicle. = sh1.
Detroit FIRE. Press. 'Rah. -Guelph
Herald.
The cool evenings remind us that the
autumn has pooled its issues and the
summer "must go. "-LoceU Courier"
A boy who can devour green water
melon and keep on smil ng will some
dav have custom house appoint
ment.
Sixty four PENNSYLVANIA school teach
ers took advantage of vacation to find
husbands and send in their resigna-
tons.
The man who patronizes a second
hand clothing store is never troubled
with fits. Whitehall Times man, who
has been there.
A Chicago girl left Cape May the
other day wearing five different engage
ment rings. She goes in for Troy
weight instead of love.
A farmer, speaking of the thnness of
his hay crop, said: The grasshoppers
have all got lame trying to jump from
one blade of grass to another"
In reply to the assertion that there
a Yankee paper says: Some people
have seventy-siX in their chins."
Belleville. H., turns out $50 900 gal
Ions of castor oil every year, and one
million children are perfectly justified
in making up faces in that direction.
1t is said hornets nest contains as
many rs 1900 cells. If any of the
hornets are at home they will show you
around the ms.--Ner OrieaaS PIC
aYHne.
BY an old bachelor: "You may
break, you may sbatter the vase, if you
will, but the frightful ceramics pasted
on by the women folks will stick to it
still.
Home is where the heart is. That's
the reason why boy will lie hidden in
bed of mavweed beside the fence and
permit his mother to call him for two
long hours.
1t is true that every man is free
moral agent, but its also mighty tough
to have to refuse amoOnlight excursion
in order to be company Tor an aunt with
the toothache.
"How sleep the brave ?" inquiries the
Chicago Trijone. Nicely, thank You,
except when it is oppressively warm !;
then we lie awake half the night
Rochla,W Courier.
John W. Mackay, the millionaire
has counted up and found that he is
worth fifty millions, but is forever hav-
ing aches and pains and sad hours, the
same as the rest of us.
Yes, Michigan is getting to be as big
State AS any of EN-. Twenty two
barns struck by lightning in one week
is pretty fair for State whieh has
never had fair. electrical show.
There j. no picnic ant, however lowly.
That ior a livelihood must toll aud beg,
Bat hit. the largest man up, grandly, slowly,
When 1t goes browsing ny ms truusor les.
There i.uo little bee, however humble,
That gathers summers sweets for winters
store,
But has. Nv prodling with his tiny humble,
Mad, great men writhe and howl and groan
ami swurc.
-Hurke5e.
An old gent who had evidently been
indulging in beer, sat in one'corner Of
a car. suddenly, as if he had passed.
his destination, he jumped up, looked
out ou both sides of the car, then
pulled the strap and both bells rang.
Conductor. "See here, old man. see
what Won have done-rang both bells. -
Old Gent.-"Look here, conductor
with a hic) Il want You to under
stand lanother hic) that | want both
ends of this car to stop.
Eayes is the greatest of the Pre>i-
dents. He has travelled more than
Washington. sworc less than Jackson,
ana a iycrtised more hotels than Grant.
lie was "culle'd tramp" and APP
preached Capt. Jase Phillips as the
train hauled up at Pewee. lis you de
captin' ob de kears?' Yes, replied
Jase. Don't want 70 ter hire any
deck hands. duz YEP mo! I'm not
running a steamboat. " "Xtcly. Mont
[ ride >traddle oh de COW sn"tcher to de
next Lndin'? Use busted an n long
WAYS from home Get on. All
aboard" and the negro straddled the
"cow suatchcr' Eli. Gllligan pulled
out the throttle wide open, and the
train had not gone more than nan mlle