The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1878-11-21
TarietU.

turkeys are beginning 10 wear nor. Thanks
giving expression. Poultry are also appre.hen-
siVe Of the broll to come
In Norfolk they have had the same town treas
urer for fifty years, and his accounts have never
been Wrong.-ET. Has the town been lbankrupt
all this timer
Il am inclined to believe said fop to a lady
who had refused to sing you are fishing for COM
pllmene." "Oh! no." replied she, II never hah
In SO shallow a stream"
First Preparatory Student (angrily): II you at.
tempt to pull my ears you will have your hands
tull'" Second prep. docking at the ears): ''Wen,
yes, rather think / shall"
Texas man got mad because a waiter handed
him napkin the other day. He said he reckon
ed he knowed when TO use hankercher without
having no hints thrown out"
Professor Swing Of Chicago. says he will never
allow paragraph to go into his paper that he
does not know is founded on fact. His paper will.
OF course, be Issued every FIVE years.
We are threatened by chemist with tin-lined
stomach. We don't mind so much about our
stomach, If he would only suggest way to line
our pockets with the same MATERIALLY Y C1n
advertiser.
II Mr. Edison would only invent process for
making confectionery out Of sugar and FIVE cent
cgaHout of tobacco, he will be entitled to niche
l, section A, temple of fame.-New London Tele-
gram
Joseph Cook is now lecturing on political
IneneS' Whereat the Chicago Journal says he is
travelling with magic lanternq This is only
rude attempt to say that he is trying to throw
light on the canvass.-Graphic
A new book in press, according to advertise
ment, is entitled ARROWS in the Air" It Is evil
IDENTIFY an English work. and the author ha
cropped the "H' belonging to "Air" We have
often seen arrows in ladies' hair It's the fashion
to wear them.
1.-THE Baked Beans and Goldfish Festivar' In
Boston and the "Turnip Greens and Hog JoWl
Matinee" at Podunk have been SO successful as a
means for the church that Rochester is about TO
get up "Pumpkin-pie Festival" for the beneltof
one of the churches in that city.
Prisoner at the bar" said the Judge, "is there
anything you wish TO say before sentence is pass-
ed upon your The prisoner Hooked waistfully
toward the door, and remarked that he would
like to say good evening If 1t would be agreea-
able to the company. But they wouldn't let him.
HG,Ckeye.
Al recent marriage in suburban town the
bridegroom, when asked the important question
If he would take the lady for better or worse, TO-
piled, ina hesitatlng manner, "Well, think 1
will" Upon being told he must be more positive
In his declaration, he answered, ::"Well, don't
care II do,"-BJSton Courier.
Three young men arrested IL New York for
drunkenness and disorderly conduct explained
that they were members hic-Of Mr.. Talmage'a
-hic-and we've just been round to the-hic-
low conshert sh'loors to shee ef our belov-hic-
ed pastor tells 'er truth" "Ten dollars and costss
replied the hard'hearted magistrate -NorristovR
Herald.
newly'wedded couple from the country went
to smoky Pittsburgh-of all places In the world
and for the first time in their lives saw and bought
some peanuts. There, Mandy" exclaimed the
bridegroom after few moments of vehement
suction, II know'd we'd be sold I've been suck
ing that darned thing for five minutes, an there
amt bit Of juice in IT. Come on; let's gol"