The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1878-08-02
Nasby.
The Progress OF Intuition at the Corners
The Trouble that MIR. Perkins Started.
CoNFEpERIr X. ROADS,

CoNFEDERIr x ROADS,
WITCH is IN THE STATE Nv KENTUCKY.
l hev he'd trouble enough with the unenlit-
ened people Nv these Corners for the past week
to neerly drive me mad. Indeed, shood hev
bin in loonatio asylum ere this, he'd not bin
sustained and soothsd by an Unlimited faith In
the correctnis Nv the doctrines Nv the Ohio De
mocrsy, ez regards money. And feelin that
was assistin, in my humble way, in putin them
doctrines into practice. 1 determined not to 90
mad, but to psrssvere even unto the end.
But the psrverse people are doin their level
best to drive me crazy, and am not shoor that
they won't succeed. bought pare Nv horses
nv one Nv EN- for SS, 900, and paid him In our
own money. He thot he'd rather not tech 1t.
"When will this be redeemed?" be askt, in
nocently.
"Any time you want it," replied.
SIN wat?" he retorted.
'Tn other notes onto the same bank" sez /.
Sand how will 700 redeem them notes?" SEE
ne.
"In jest the same way" sez 1.
"Then all ther is Nv it" sez be, "soo 90 on
takin up one note by givin another, and all nv
EN- without interest nor nothin."
"That's it eggsackly," sed I. "Yoo see, can't
700, or are 700 an ijsat? that money means
faith? Now ef the proud finsnshel instooshin
in wich am the he'd, ishoos Its note, 700 aust
have faith that it will pay, and so long ez 700
have that faith and everybody else hez that
faith, SO that they take it for money, yoo never
want the money on it. So long ez money is
taken, you don't want ii redeemed, for 1t is good
enuff, yoo see! Oar money is made good by
faith-and ez long ez it is sustained By faith it
will go. When the notes yoo hev now wear
out, come to us and we will redeem em with
new ones. But everybody must hev faith.
Can't 700 ses it? Everybody must hev faith.
Faith in the ishoos Nv this bank nv ourn is nec-
essary to its success and stability. Faith in our
things hoped for, and the evidence nv things
not seen, only more so. Wait till git $1,000
from the prntin offs, and take em for yoor
horses, and go yoor way. Hev faith
| Perkins, that wuz the farmers name, took the
money and went his way, pouderin ez he went
He walked down to Bascom's with deep lines
Nv thot onto his face, which resolved itself into
a expreshun Nv stern determinashun ez he en-
tered the door.
"KiD 700 sell me barl nv whiskey to-day
| a el tire barl?' sed he.
"Certiny," said G. W., smilingly, "certinly,
Mr.. Perkins. It's only worth $40 gallon, or
| 81 $50 per barl this mornin."
''Pll take barl, sed Perkins.
'.AIl rite" wuz G. WIS response. 'Pd ez
soon sell IA barl to wunst ez by the single
drink
So G. W. and his wife and his eldest son. JEFF
ferson Davis, rolled barl up into PerkiDses
wagon, and Perkins remarkt that he wanted 20
pay for that likker on the spot. Bascom smiled
pleasantly. There wuz nothin so pleasant
Perkins continyooed, ez payin for things wen
yoo got em, ez it saved bookkeepin and vexa-
| shus troubles Nv all kinds.
"Give me pen. ink, and paper, G. W., sed
this outrageous Perkins,
Nonplushed, Bascom did SO mechanically,
and Perkins ran his tongue out, ez people do in
ter thirty minutes nv intense labor, with SWEET q
rollin from his brow fearful, he handed Bascom
the follerin dokeyment
"CoNEEDRIr x RoADs.-f promise to nav G..
w. Bascom sixteen hundred and eiet.cy dollars,
"Wats this?' askt the aston sned Bascom
! with an expreshun nv intense disgust usrpin
| the Dlase NV the smile.
"Pay for that likker," replied Perkins, calm
| ez Joou mornin.
But this amt pay-it's your promis to pay.
and 700 amt got no time nor phase fixed for pay
ment-yoo amt got no interest exprest, nor
nothin. Wen do 700 mean to pay it?''
Never, G. W., never. Under the moo dis
pensashun promises to pay is money. All 700
want Is faith So long ez 700 bleeve that that
paper . & is money wat do 700 want of money.
With faith enough that paper is money. L hev
been fggerin this matter out in my intellek
ever sence hev bin takin yoor bank money.
It's all the same. Eff hev faith in yoor money
you must hsv faith in mine. When this note
moo one. And don't keep it too 1ong-I shell
take pleasure In wrltin yoo note often, SO that
they will alluz be new and pleasant to look ST.
How pleasant it is, Bascom, to pay ez you 90!
dow much better feel to pay on the male. and
how much better yoo must feel to hev yoor cash
when 700 deliver yoor goods"
And Perkins drove off with the likker, lite
| harted, leavin Basoom dumfoundsd in the door
Nv the grosery, 2aspin with astonishment and
Perkins didn't stop with bari Nv likker.
He gos Iare of pegged boots for $50, and pade
1or them IN the same way, and q kag nv males,
and TOO scots nv cloze, and kalico dresses for
MS wife and darters, and box Nv paper collars
and neck-tie, things he he'd never dreamed Nv
neVIn before, and he got so eggsited at-bis sue
cess IN fnanseerin that he went home drunk ez
biled OWL
Bot the Misery Nv all is, every cuss within
, nve miles, sen Perknses success, is doln the
same thing and an immense volyoom Nv wat
may call indivijjle currency is afoat. And
they are seriously threateuin to vote to have the
corprashun take the stuff for taxesi The idee
Nv takin money for taxes that aint printed, and
that amt got no President and Cashier and
Board Nv direkters! there is such thing as car
rying this thing too far.
But prosperity continoos her stimulatin rain.
| We isho0d thirty thousand dollars nv our money
last week, and the benefishal effeck is visible.
Wheat is now $12 bushel, iikker 81 plain
drink, $150 to them ez take sugar in tbeirn
pegged boots is $50, cotton sox $4, and town
lots-well, any price one chooses to ask for EN-.
The diggin Nv cellars is goin on satisfactorily,
ez is anything else that we kin pay for in our
own money. But I tremble with apprehen-
shuns. Wat will happen when they come to
want lumber and males and glass, and other
things wich hev to come from Louisville?
That's the ghost that hants me.
PETROLEUM V. Massey.
President nv the Onlimited Trust and Conf
dence Company.
2. s. The most wonderful effect nv infla-
shen wuz shoWd this morning on Deekin Po-
gram. The old saint made his appearance at
the Bank in moo SCOT nv cloze wich Mirandy,
his dawter, got for him. The old man tried to
keep up under it, but FINELY broke down. He
refoozed to stay in his sect unless we'd take OF
the cote, pull off his boots and them ID
stockins," ea he expressed it, and drip sum to-
backer joose over his buzm. He swore that he
rather resine his posishen than to wear boots
and stockins in the summer time, and ez for
paper collars he'd wear none nv EN-. He wood
bev gon insane ef we hadn't strpt him and got
him back to his normel stile. Wat a difference
there is in men! Now took to stockins when
got to be President Nv this Bank ez naturally
ez tho had alloz wore EN-. But hev moved
in better society than the Dsekin hez. He Is