Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1878-05-03

Uncle Sam Clearing a noise outside goes
to the door and observes to seedy-looking
men waiting to be spoken to)-Come in.
What can do for you?
Enter McLin and Dennis-Some fellers
hez robbed ye down in Floridy. We come
in to confss their sins.
Uncle Sam Ito McLin)-Well, man, what
do you know about it?
McLin-Well, yer honor, they seen a big
pile of yer property and they TUX it unob-
sarved.
Uncle Sam-How do you know?
McLin-l seen 'em do it, yer honor, right
feminist my eyes.
Uncle Sam-Why didn't you prevent it
or give an alarm?
McLin-Sure / was wild 'em. didn't
name to stale. but | think | was uncon-
sciously mismerized
Uncle Sam-You actually helped the other
thieves carry off the plumber, did you?
McLin-Yis; did it all BY mysilf;
was mismerized.
Uncle Sam-Well. where is the property
now? What did you do with it?
McLin-Sure, carried it off and give it
to Rud Hayes. Hes Twin on it now this
minute-the yagabOne and thafe of the
woods | was mismerized.
Uncle SAM Msmerized - we'll, you
haven't been " mismerized' ever since-all
these two years-haye you?
McLin-No, faith bin tryin' every day
to git some of the stolen property back.
Uncle Sam-For me
McLin-NO, for me.
Uncle Sam-Oho That's it, is it?
McLin-Yis; Ohio, that's the very thing
Uncle Sam-Did he promise to give you a
part of the stolen goods?
McLin-Faith, he did, or irind of his
did. He said if Id do all the shtalin' he'd
Civ me some of the loot an yer honor-it's
the truth I'm tellin' ye-divil haaporth
have | got sight of The auld villain
Uncle Sam | understand you to acknowl-
edge that you appropriated the goods.
McLin-What's that, yer riverince?
Uncle Sam-Stole the goods you say you
stole them yourself.
McLin-The saints presarve me, tux EN-;
but was mismerized, yer honor.
Uncle Sam-And if this Rud Hayes you
speak Of had given back part of the goods
would you have used them?
MeLin-Wud hog ate acorns, yer
honor?
Uncle Sam--And in that case you would
mt have told anything about the robbery?
McLin-Av coorse not. Why should |,
yer honor?
Uncle Sam-And it is because you didn't
get any benefit from the robbery that you
exposed this Hayes?
McLin-Yis he's a dishonest and traitor
GUS auld diyil.
Uncle Slm-Well Dennis. what's the
matter with you?
Dennls-Same thing, yer honor, long life
to yez | stole some of your things that some
other fellows tould me this Teller wanted and
not clint has he ever Civ me for it.
Uncle Sam-IIOw came you to do such a
wicked thing?
McLin-I was mismerized
Uncle Sam-And you didn't either of yon
know that you had done anything wrong till
you found that there wasn't to be fair d.
vide?
BOth-Yis, that's it, yer honor; we're
awfully chated, and we two arphans, and
large families depinding on US for an honest
Twin
At this juncture Uncle Sam stepped off
the porch and unclaimed seven bull dogs
that he kept for purposes of moral suasion,
and merely said. "S-s-steboy ~ The dogs
and the two honest informers started stimuli
taneously for the front gate and long reach
of open country hey ond Uncle Sam smiled
blandly, and went in to continue his expert
ments with the phonograph. And as he
turned the little vocal cy Under it said "Ia
Ha Hal lila ! Ha Ha-ha ha-ha-ha ~
-Nec York Graphic.