West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-03-02
How They Found Their Uncle.


\ couple oi women from near Wood,
Station, came in on the morning trair
last Monday to visit relative in the
city, buy SOME ceramic pictures and ret
their last years combings made up into
switches and frizzettos. They got into
agreen car mt the depot, and while com
ing up the SiXth-strect hill one of them
opened her satchcl to pay the conductor.
turned white around the mouth. and
facing nervously about TO her com
panion, exclaimed
Lizcw
Mercy, Whatw
I've lost Uncle Jake's card"
" Gracious goodness What shall We
do now2 told you 10 be careful of it,
That leaves us in nice fix, now dom I
ltY Can't you remember what street
and number IL wasp
IL was--le's sce-hOw many buttons
have ! got in bunch ?-oh, yes-it was
on Fifth-street, but forget the mum
bcr; | didn't charge my mind with
that. How could have lost that card,
| wonder? ! never took it out of my
satchel once. suppose | must have
dropped il when | took out the railroad
ticket. How provoking il is, amt it2
But then nearly everybody knows Uncle
Jake-his names been in the papers
two or three times-and somebody III tell
us where his office is"
A thorough search for the missing
card by both ladies then followed, but
IT could not bc found. At the corner of
Fifth and Elm they left the car, and
started west toward Centralavenuc.
After walking short distance they came
up TO n sable old porter, chopping the
ice from the sidewalk
Will you please TO tell us where
Fiith-strect isT' inquired the one who
had lost the card
" Gcs'um; oh, yes, sahtin suah Dis
dakey's alas ready TO 'becge de ladies.
Why, brcss yoh shiny eyes, dis am Fifth
street you's walkin ON dis berry minute,
IL am TO fack. De ole mans Mt yOh
sahyice. is de any mo you want 20
know, chillenW
10 find our uncle. His office ison Fifth
street, but we don't know the number.
Can't you show us the way? Wen give
you quarter. if you will"
See huh, ladies, de ole man would
do mos anything fo' you, but dis am
poseh. What's de guv'nchs name, an
what's he do TO get his chuck2"
"Sir?"
What's de boss foIeh for libin' ?''
Oh, he does drawing pic
lures OF houses and churches and things
But do take us TO him; we are getting
scared. We've never been here before"
Dah-dah. Don't bodder yoh head,
no mo-. Come ON dis way-Pll find
yoh uncle, suah," and the old fellow
chuckled and winked with cunning
eye as he dropped the quarter into his
pocket, and led the way.
The trio proceeded together for some
distance, until they came TO door sur
mounted by three glittering balls, when
the darkey paused and said
Hubs de place, ladies' You'll
find yoh uncle right inside dah, an
mighty glad he'll be to see you He's
man datll stan by you, too, slong's
you's got a br'esspin lef," and with
many Establishments and bows he
opened the door for them, and departed
full Of chuckles and grins.
The ladies stepped forward To- the
counter, shook hands cordially with the
beaming usurer, inquired after Aunt
Suse and little Hector" told him he was
much betteT-loOking man than his
picture, and rather thought he had
changed very considerably since they
had seen him ten years before. in short
both women piled their tongues so glibly
IN concert that the supposed relative
was 80 utterly bcwildered that IL was
fully FIVE minutes before he could get
the use Of his breath long enough 20
say
Shiminy fshhCogks. Has dot loona-
| diksylum proke loose, or vhati in schwsit-
zer un' pretzel vas all desc nonsense" :"
And then when il dawnod slowly upon
the minds Of the intruders that they
had been sold by the darkey, and that
the man before them was not tho archi-
tect who had married their mothers
sister they felt ~ mortified and discOnsO-
late over the situation that nothing but
/ tears could be thought Of, and they at
/ once gave such an exhibition of damp
! Mysteries ~ dumfOundcd the pawn.
/ broker ~ the extent that he Immediately
/ proceeded 10 put his own watch Gin
| soak, and then tried to kick himself
\ into the street But trbulatiOn iB n
/ wholesome dish sometime. and 80 II
/ proved in their case. No woman can
weep with any sort Of satisfaction with.
/ out pOckethandkcrchiei, and in open.
ing out the dainty linen TO take up tho
tear-drOps, the one who had been called
" Lire" came upon the missing card
carefully rolled up therein and pinned
% the corner, where 10 had been all On,
time, safe in her pocket
They had a merry time i'm Aunt
Suse's" cheerful home that night telling
about how they found their uncle