The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-06
FAcTS AMI EANrTES

Greenbacks carry yellow fever. Don't
touch 'em
Some men cannot stand prosperity.
OOthers never get chance to try.-Buf-
| falo Express.
In the worlds broad field of battle, in
the bivOuac of life, do not try with stu
pid prattle to deceive your jealous wife.
Hennepin county, Mimi, has $283, 376
in its treasury and owes nobody. What
under the sun is the treasurer waiting
for?
Laughter is the daylight of the soul !;
but the soul of delight is a good old
fashioned 'smile.'-New Jersey Repub-
lican.
When bank cashier finds things get
ting little shaky he pools his issues in
carpet bag and takes vacation in
Europe.
Abernethy used 10 say that of the large
quantity of food man swallowed, one
fourth supported him, and the rest he
kept at his risk.
A Louisville advertisement runs: Ice
cream 1.25 per gall That may be the
general average out there, but the young
men of the east couldn't stand it.
A Chinaman recently showed his wife
how to kindle fire with American ker-
osene, and her experience will be of con-
| siderable advantage to her second hus-
band.
other day, and asked him what he had
such short nose for 4 'spects SOS it
won't poke itself into other peoples
business
Most Christians consider the Bible
more precious than gold. Yet they lock
up their silverware and jewels at night,
and allow the Word to remain on the
parlor table.
We could get along with little less
elaborate label and more peaches to the
can, but we don't pretend to speak for
this community, as its tastes are very
aesthetic.
A New York woman says there would
be thousands more tramps than now if it
were not for the noble selfsacrifice of
the fair sex in marrying and supporting
men.-Chicago Journal
A Troy man who received fifty dol
lar bill from New Orleans left it living
on his Office desk to fumigate. He has
not been bothered with it since, nor did
the thief catch the fever.-Free Press.
Senator Spencer says that private in
terests require him to withdraw from
political life for the present. As the
public interests fall right in with that
arrangement, we don't see ANYTHING to
hinder.-Boston Post
An exchange says: 1T is funny that
when you ask man to advertise he gen.
orally declines with the statement that
nobody will see it. But if YOU adver-
tise some little caper of his in the news
colemn gratis, he gets indignant at the
certainty that everybody viii see it,
A Binghampton On. " wife went to
ball one evening recently, leaving at
home young babe and her husband.
The babe was fretful and the father went
to the ball and asked the mother to 90
home. She preferred to dance. Soon
after the husband and father appeared
again on the scene, this. time wheeling
the baby in its carriage. Trundling the
cradle into the set in which mamma was
dancing, he called attention TO the child
and left
Edison is ingenious, but not ingeuu-
Gus, When he was in Boston he PLAYED
trick which cost him his place, It
was the rule for each night oreEator 10
telegraph TO head quarters every half
hour the number IS ,, and the name of
the Office to demonstrate thai he was
wide awake. Edison confrived a ma
chine which would, at regular intervals
of half an hour, salute the central office
without waking him ap. IL he chose to
sleep. he sold them 70 other operators.
and was discovered and dismissed the
service IN disgrace