Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1878-11-22
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If you turn an American "Stato" uu-
side down YOU will tiud the Eats of the
French republic. Philadelphia BuM,tin.
Queen Victoria asked the King of
Siam if he would like to ho decorated.
and the old fellow said, "Ycs, if you
take me just MS Siam,
Motto for dyer's establishment;
MoHtu9 miutdntas, "wc VITO arc about
to dye salute YOU. albany E,raiag
Jomnai
Pit no iulsomo compliments On my
tombstone" said Grandfather Dunshud.
der this morning. Don'tgivo mo any
epitaph - tiod Observer.
One time II lion met an elegant and
the elephant sed You better 80 and
git your hair cut But the lion il sed :
"Bahl shant resent fellors in suits
wich has got his nose between his own
tceths. -LiRie Johnny.
Elder sister-"Well, dear, did yon
have n pleasant time nj the theator to-
night?' Younger ditto oh, it was Just
lovely ! cried all the time" Elder
sister Did you2 Oh, how wish la
been there. Hdlpcr'S Bo:ar.
W lltl ~ ltlHll IL lliIllIlE nN IllN lutN
from the cornice Of high building,
and expects momentarily to drop, moth
ing so completely reassurcs him and SO
thoroughly satisfies him ms the sudden
discovery that he is safely at home in
bed
The last man will have an awfully
lonesome time of it. Nobody to bor.
row money Of; nobody 10 dun him or
raise his rent; no gas me
ter to make things lively; no book
agents; no life insurance man, and no
Oldest inhabitant To declare that it's the
most remarkable weather we have ever
had. keokdh Constitution
Mrs. Hayes has had the white house
cellar fitted up with potato bins, shelves
for pumpkins and squashes, and racks
to hold apples, after the manner of her
own cellar mt home. II is announced
that no intoxicating liquor of any kind
will be served mt the white house din
ners the coming season, except mt the
annual dinner 10 the diplomatic corps,
and then there will be no wine glasses
before the president and Mrs. Hayes.
The Burlington Haukep says ,-"It ii
about time, young man, for you to
withdraw from society and become IL
nun for the newt three months or else
save up every last nicle you can earn
or borrow for Christmas presents. This
advice, it may seem to you, is trille
early, but you just think Of it Christmas
eve, and you will wish you had com
menced about the 4th ofJuly."
1t was under the stars, mt the front
gate: May ! kiss you p he muir
! INJURED III her ear. Her color came
and went, her heart beat faster than
Rarns trots she looked down to blush,
and she looked up to sigh, with 4 smile
on her lip and tcar in her eye, and
then shyly replied Proposition accept
cd if done only once. g. Aibnng JoWnai
A farmers wife, in speaking Of the
smartness, aptness, and intelligence Of
her son, lad years old to n lady nc
quaintance, said. Hecan read fluent
ly in any part Of the Bible. repeat the
whole cateehism, and weed onions M
well as his father" Yes, mother"
added the young hopeful, and yestcr-
day ! licked Ned Rawson, threw the cat
into the well. and stole old lIickoy'g
gimlet.
Florence DE Laigne, who recently
\ published some verses on Autumn in
these columns, writes to ask. "Who ii
responsible for the typographical errors
in the Hmukew?7 Lean down here,
I Florence, while we whisper in your
ear: "-sh; nobody is The editor
writes so plainly that even blind man
can spell out his words; the compositors
are college men who have edited papers
Of their own, and they set up the mat
ter exactly as il is written, and corrccts
what mistakes the editor makes; the
proofreader is 4 professor Of rhetoric
and philology IN IN Iowa college, and
never made mistake IN his life; and
he c0rrocts what few mistakes the COM
positors may make; the foreman ii
Gottingcn graduate, who has nothing ID
do but to zee that the matter il perfect
when the forms 90 down. There isn't d
mistake in the Hdukege when breaches
the press. But well tell you, as a pro-
fessional secret, Florence, how the mis-
takes creep in. The pressman told the
manager, and the manager told us; it's
the ink, Florence, it's the ink. We pay
out thousands and thousands Of dollars
d year for good ink, and We can't get an
article that won't fairly measlo the pa
per with typographical errors. Btr,
/ n I4.#