The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1878-01-03
The Ignorant Cuss.

"Is you the editor
The writer looked up from the desk on
, two small gamins with dirty faces, VINO
had entered the sanctum and stood
nervously twitching their ragged caps
before him. =,
"Yes. sir. What do you want p
"Well. YOU see, the Irish Boys and the
Silver Stars had game of ball TO day,
and we kinder thought as we'd ike 10
have il published"
'Is that really sol i knew these two
crack clubs were going to play but 1
thought it was next week. 10 "hlcn
club do you belongT ~,
ketcher and he's shortstop. Ana we
walked them fellers, didn't we, Bill
"You bet" responded Bill. why didn't
won saw 40 before The Irish Boys is
GOOD enough club, but by -Jove, give me
the Silver Stars Why, I'm delighted
to meet both Of you, and the editor
rose up, shook both Of them warmly oy
the hands, and yelled for the printer
devil to bring the gentlemen chairs
The two redoubtable Silver Stars look |
ed at each other very much perplexed,
and seemed at loss whether to sit down
or dash out of the Office. Finally they
.adopted the former plan, and pulling
their chairs over near the door, SO as 10
be ready to dart out at the first sign OF
hostilities, sat suspiciously eyeing the
editor, who entrenched himself oenlnd
mass Of paper. pencil in hand. Now,
then. tell me all about the game, and Ill
write it down"
"Well, the Irish Boys they wus brag
Gin they could beat us, and we said we
had twenty-five cents that they couidn I.
We played 'em and give 'em SIX goose
eggs" 49,.
tell any lies. 1t is wrong to lie where
could you get goose eggs this time OF
the year 2
The catcher and the shortstop OF the
Silver Stars looked at the editor in
amusement and then seemed to be men,
tally deciding that he.was an internal
idiot.
1--WE mean to say" continued the
catcher Of the Silver Stars, who was hrst
to recover from the shock to which be
had been subjected, "that we whitewash-
ed EN-"
20. see," said the editor, with sud
den burst Of intelligence; you pu!
whitewash over them until they looked
like goose eggs. BY Jove, that was
good idea" -,
"No." said the catcher Of the Silver
Stars, with rising ire, I'VE skunked EN-
you know-skunked 'em.
a"Skunked 'em-what do you mean BY
thatT
ave Chicagoed 'em-gin 'em no runs
20, now see" said the editor, slmos
bursting into roar OF laughter at tn
look of intense relief which came owe
the face Of the two Silver Stars u
right on"
1--WE got right on ter the balls OF tn
Irish BOYS in the last innins, and W
pounded the life out Of him?
Hold on" said the editor, rapid
writing. THE Silver Stars stood on th
ball in the last inning. and almost kille
the pitcher Of the Irish Boys when :
tried to get it.
regarded each other IN speechless asto
ishment, then the shortstop plying
asked:
mister, did you ever play base ball
VERY little" said the editor, makiT
herculean efforts to keep his face straigt
"but I'll scratch this out If 1t is not
right"
COURSE it isn't right We mean to 81
we hit his balls easy; we knocked e
hard hit him for three bags, al
made home run"
"You did p said the editor, dashing
at tremendous rate on the paper. II
catcher Of the Silver Stars hit three bs
with a ball, and made home run.
This was too much. The two Silv
Stars got up and unanimously conclud
that they must go.
What is your hurryT asked the
itor. again shaking their hands warml
"stay a little while longer. If you car
come up this afternoon and bring
your friends with you-glad to see y
any time" :,
The catcher of the Silver Stars bl
his nose, wiped it on the cuff of his &C
and led the way down stairs in de
thought.
AT the bottom of the first fight
feelings could no longer control the
selves. :,
"Bill" muttered he, "if that fell
amt the ignorantest cuss l ever s
why yer can jest shoot me-.
''Yes," replied Bill; "but he's q"
friendly, amt he y