Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1878-02-02


if we are not all involved in the punish
ment it will be because God is mercitul
and longsutfering and slow to anger.
The Man who Talked too Much.
He slipped into an ice-cream saloon
very softly, and, when the girl asked
him what he wanted. he replied:
'Corned beef, fried potatoes, pickles
and mince pie"
"This is not restaurant; this is an
ice-cream parlor," she said.
''Then why did you ask me what
wanted? Why don't you bring on your
ice-cream?"
She went after it, and, when she re-
turned, he continued:
"You See, my dear girl, you must IN
fer-you must reason. IL isn't likely
that / would come into an ice-cream
parlor TO buy grindstone, is ii! You
didn, think l came in here TO ask II
you had any baled hay, did you"
She looked at him III great surprise,
and he went on:
az Il owned hardware store, and
you came in, would infer that yon
wanted something in my line. | would
not step out and ask if you wanted to
buy mule, would IL"
She went away highly indignant. An
old lady was devouring dish OF cream
at the next table, and the stranger after
watching her few moments, called out:
.My dear woman, have you found
any hairs or buttons in your dish?'
"Mercy, mol she exclaimed, as she
wheeled around, anddropped herspoon.
"Well.. lin glad of it" he continued,
"If you find any just let me know.
She looked at him for half a minute,
picked up the spoon, laid it down again,
and then rose and left the room. She
must have said something TO the pro-
prietor, for he came running in and ex-
claimed:
"Did vou tell that woman that there
were hairs and buttons in my ice-cream!
"No, sir!'
"You didn't
mo sir, did not; l merely request
cd her, in case she found any such ill.,
gradients, to inform me-"
"Well, sir, that was mean trick.
"My dear sir. said the stranger smil-
ing softly, "did you expect me TO ask
the woman if she found crow-bar or
sledye-hammer in her cream? 1t is inn
possible sir. for such articles to hide in
such "A small dish"
The proprietor went away growing,
and, as the stranger quietly slipped away
at his cream, two young ladies came in,
sat down near MIN, and ordered some
cream and cake. He waited till they
had eaten little, and then remarked:
"Beg pardon, ladies, but do you OBJ
serve anything peculiar in the taste OF
this ice-cream?"
They tasted, smacked their lips, and
were not exactly certain.
"Does it taste to you as if plug OF
tobacco had fallen into the freezer! he
asked.
"Ah! Kah!" they exclaimed, and tried
TO spit out what they had eaten. Both
rushed out, and it wasn't long before
the proprietor rushed in.
"See here. what in blazes are you
talking about?" he demanded. "What
do you mean by plug tobacco in the
freezer?'
"My kind friend, I asked those ladies
if this ice cream tasted OF plug tobacco.
don't taste any such taste, aud don't
believe that you put bit of plug tobac-
co in it,
"Well, you ought not to talk that
way around here" continued the prcprl-
e.or. ".My ice cream is pure, and the
man who says it is not, is bold llar!
He went away again, AMI woman
with long neck aud sad face sal
down and said to the girl that she would
take small dish of lemon ice cream.
II was brought, and she took about
two mouthfuls, when the stranger in
quired:
Excuse me madam, but do yon know
how this cream was made have you
any idea that they grated turnip aud
chalk with the cream?"
She dlCnt reply. one slowly rose
up, wheeled around aud made for the
door. The stranger followed after. BY
great luck his cost-tails cleared the door
an instant too soon to be, struck by a
five-ponnd 3ox of6gs. hurled with great
force by the indignant proprietor. AS
he reached the curb stone he halted,
looked at the door of the parlor, and
soiiloqnized: f .
"There are times when people should
infer, and then there are times when
they shouldn't. / suppose if had ask
ed that woman if she thought they hash
ed up q sawmill in the cream. she'd
have felt circular saw going down her
throat" u
A bright and brau,iful child shows
in its very expression that it's Babyhood
-ao o0s ooco..;af..d u,;th Ot,i1tn cor