The Worthington advance., 1878-10-17
THE WEDDING FEE.

AAAA| " liz AANU MILO
How very dark and tormy It was on
that March evening. The doors and
windows kept up perpetual rattle;
violent gusts OF winds and dashes of rain
now and then beat against the house, as
if bound to seek shelter therein.
Little Robby was sound asleep in his
crib, and the minister and his wife were
spending the evening together in the cozy
sitting-room.
The hour of retiring had come, and
while Mr.. Watson was making the fire
safe for the night, and Mrs. W. was bustl-
ing about, picking up and adjusting the
numberless concerns which nobody but q
careful housewife can ever see or think
of, there came most violent ring of the
bell.
''Mercy2" exclaimed Mrs. Watson,
"somebody must be dying or dead.
What dreadful night for you to go out
inl'
Mr.. Watson opened the door end peer
ed into the darkness. Not human be-
ing could he see or hear. A few seconds
passed, when loud, gruf voice was
heard asking:
Scan you splice US to-night?"
For an instant the minister was con-
fused, not being accustomed to the use OF
of that nautical term in relation to the
duties Of his profession. A second
thought, however, made clear to him the
possibility that splicing might be within
the limits Of his particular province; and
so, raising his voice above the storm. he
replied:
1T you mean to ask me sir, 20 marry
you, shall be most happy to perform
the ceremony. Is the lady with you?'
"Ha! ha! that's good one Sary Ann
you mean2 Don't suppose Id come to
get the knot tied without her,do &c? No,
sir; she's right here in the cart"
Mr. Watson need not step back to in.
form his wife of the great event which
was to take place, for she had heard all
the conversation and was using her Ut
most endeavors to expel the laugh from
her countenance before the happy pair
appeared.
1t must be confessed that the sight of
the couple was not conductive to gravity.
They had passed the bloom of youth, and
had made no special effort to conceal the
fact. Both had evidently come directly
from their work, which indeed, the gen
tleman proceeded to intimate.
"Fact is, parson, It's rather bad night
outside; and so says to Sary, what's the
use; let's not fix up BIT, but 90 Just as
we are. The knot'll hold jest as we'll as
If we had on onr best bib and tucker
And beside, parson, we want to take the
old folks by surprise, and they'd be sure
to suspect something if we'd gone to work
and put on all the riggin's."
Mrs. Watson was GLAD for this little
opportunity to smile, and promptly i'm
proved it. What would she not have
given for the privilege Of good hearty
laugh.
The brief ceremony &C cncluded, Mr.. and
Mrs. Watson extended their congratula.
tions.
THAR" broke in the newly married
man, SIS the ticket; guess you'll find it
o. K. Now, Sary, let's be goin'. Plaguey
tough ride before us. Good-by, parson.
Good-by, ma'am. Much obliged for the
job. Hope to do as much for you, some
time"
"Tbe "cart" ratified away, and Mrs.
Watson. into whose hands her husband
had delivered the certificate, mpde haste
to open it, thinking that, after all, it
wasn't best to judge people by the out
side, and that the strange man might
have done something handsome BY wav
of fee. There it was! A bill! Yes.
and upon it the magnificent figures of one
dollar!
swell, declare" shouted Mrs. Wat
son, isn't this too mean for ANYTHING?
Shame on that man; he don't deserve to
be married."
''Now, my DEAR" said the minister,
"you should not be too hard, for l am
sure you had at least dollars worth of
enjoyment out of the OCCASION"
Yes, sir, and noticed somebody who
eemed trying to keep from laughter.
Next day little Bobby's shoes were
bought with the wedding fee. the minis
ter's pants were brushed and cleaned for
the hundredth time, and the good lady,
by dint of extraordinary management,
made the old dress answer an excellent
purpose.
The spring passed away, and the sum-
mer in all its beautiful bloom and abund-
ant fruitfulness came on. The wedding
on the stormy night had almost passed
from the minds OF the minister and his
wife; albeit, she would break out with a
laugh, and ask her husband if he didn't
think it was nearly time to splice another
couple.
One day, as the happy little family were
eating their dinner, and just as the pa.
rents were feeling uncommonly proud of
some smart thing little RobbY bad said,
there came just such another ringing of
the bell as that heard on the stormy night,
swell, there" said Mrs. Watson, "onc
would think for all the world that that
splice-man had come again"
Before the minister could reach the
door it was opened, and, astonishing to
relate, there stood the identical hero of
the wedding occasion.
"'Arterroon, parson, and ma'am, hain't
forgot me, have ye? Member that lob YOU
dld tor ME last spring2 Never did any
tning better in that line, bet your life.
Didn't know then how it twould turn
out. Gitten' married is hinder risky any,
now. But you won't find happier pair
this side O. Canaan, that's snre. And 10 7
thought twas time l brought along the
rest Of the fee. Whc1ll YOU have these
things, parson2''
The minister went to the door. and
there was the ''cart" literally loaded with
fruit and vegetables of every description.
Such store was never before brought
into that house!
ION, don't troublesyourself bout thank
ing for this" said the man.
''Nothing but fair trade, you know.
But If you must thank somebody, thank
sary Ann. This garden sass is from her.
She kinder thought 'twould relish tAi.