The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1878-07-10
Loys BRiycn SnoRE BRElzEs.
Aud Ell Pcrtins- vcritnbIe Account Of the
Astonishing Result, II Produced.

LoNd BRANCH, July S-llay be you think
you've seen hot weather in N wv York. what vou
call hot wrnthcr; but YOU urn mistaken CITY
| u''p' don't know anything about genuine hot
w'ath'r II YOU want to $50 genuine hot
weather You must come To- Long Branch when
thu hot wind blows In frou tI' Jrrs'y shore.
You must STAN in tIut sw 'itcrinr 'phyr which
Hllus 'n's. not from the o'cinnr the noun
tnns hut winch thn w'nd-gol blows straight
from the melon patches " Monmouth county,
You must IA the hot bra IL sand and breathe
thr fiery air which fl st orchrs tho horses at
the race ira 4. gathers dust along tho highway,
then supcrh"ats hsoii over tho Lroilng grill
irons OF the great hot"ls. and then pounras
down and waits a gentle flame into the lungs OF
the summer visitor.
" How's the thermometer to-day 2" asked an
old fellow. as he sat roasting peanuts and bak-
ing appl' and potatoes in tho hot sand in front
Of tn" can House.
Thermometer. sir" Why. there ain't no
thermometers around Long Branch to-day
Don't you see the winds from the shors2 Thor
mom"ters! Why. the mercury boiled ovrr this
morning. pull the nails QUITO the boards and
away noqied MY Long Bran h thermometers
n9i and all: Ike 80 muny balloons"
You don't say sol"
Say sol | shonid say | did. Why, ovory-
thing dries NJ her when the hot wind com,s
huii"rnut-, pumpkins dry up aud look like pp-
tutoes. green corn sirinks To clothes pins. and
wa, [, you see
told tue man dit.
No you don't. rthcr Them amt cocoa
nuts az all. Thrn,'s dried wntrrnclons. dried
up 10y m" heat. and that boy has been imposin'
ON Tie guests % the W - End Hotel all day sell
M thnm pnor city people dried watcrmolons for
You don't tell me- sor
Yes. sir. do Why. IT'S so hot and dry here
sometimes that man can't open his mouth
without having his tongue dry up and his gums
weather crack til hs teeth ruttln around and
drop out ike ripe chestnuts. / gathered nine
gallons Oi dried teeth and weather cracked ears
mere IN ono day and the next day Gen. Grant
and Geo. W. Chids came over and identified
,,Who d thoy belong to p asked.
d. no. hut 'snclt 20 some Of Mr. Chtldes
friends. for how he did cry when he picked up
one iuoth, drew deep sigh, and SAID: Alas.
poor Mr. Eyartsl tgll him not to 20 to the
Ia talk against one Of those shore W nds. Poor
man, his Jaw must have got weathrr-crackrd,
and let out his teeth right in the middle Of one
DID Mr.. Chiids actually shed tears p |
asked
e should say SO. Why. You ortcr seed the
biz tours rattle down his dry checks and bound
AROUND on ne ground like pcHsi
Now. how could tears-wct tears-bound
around - expostulnied.
They wasn't W.T.. sir. Mr. Childs got in 4
draft OF that shore wind. nd A. five minutes In
eyes dried up ike ripe chestnut burrs and tho
dry tears came rafting out like beans out of
claimed the speaker RS he put up ono hand AMI
fcltDf ms ear. I've talked too long myself to-
day. ! feel that We commenced 10 dry up. too.
On, rs comm on now. I'm dryin'. dryin'-
And in six minutes by the watch Door mnn
drled aud shrivrllod away. H. was mummy
IA N"w Jersey mummy; and all because he
opened his mouth and exposed h imself too long
70 Il Jersey shore hre"l". Eli PERKINS