The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1878-12-26

ooy % ootok0 - 0011o10Go a
tho morgue, which oooo TO hsvo 30.
come too email for IL needs of oar pop.
u!afion."
i Aothersin-lsw, holding the screaming
baby-"Dear little dsTlin'! How II
looks like ia papa nov :" Papa won.
ders Why it 10 that his Wife's mother 81.
ways compares the baby TO kim whom il
is crying and not 81 other times(.
"Ay lord. once sxelaimsd IN Hitter.
ate actor in "Pixafro," Who didn't IN.
dssstand what caciqxe was, ssmy lord,
meath yonder palm We have captured Z
cask. What 10 your plsasure!" "RolI
it in, cried the tragedian. ''and lots
bust in the bung."
Master Charlie and his family ara
spending . few days It the house OF
that promising artist, Hrs. Vandyke
Browne). Ars. v. B.; sWell, Charlie
boy, Why arc you looking 90 hard 1t
that picture I" Charlie "Why, mamma
Gays that every time che looks at this
picture It makes her sick, aad I thought
I'D see If il would me-"
Hswk.Eye: "What, the young man
asked the young woman who vas wait
ing for him to ask for his bat, "wbat do
l put you in mind Off IA French
clock" she said, softiy. And pretty
soon he arose and went on his way.
The next morning he called on IN emil
nent horologist and asked him what was
the distinguishing trait Of . French
clock. The horologist said: "Why,
it never goes" And the young man
was sorely cast down, and he grisved,
and told no man of his hurt.
When Franklin was ambassador to
France, being ct meeting of . literary
society, and not we'll understanding
French when detained, he determined
to applaud whom he saw . lady friend
express approval. When they bad
ceased, . little child who understood
French said to Mr.. Franklin: "Why
you always applauded whom they were
praising you!" Franklin laughed heart
lily, and explained his dilemma.
A radical, heated BY copious libations,
was merrilly singing tho "Marsellaise, /"
"Wbat makes you say 'opprog,iam!"
asks q friend. "Yoo ought n say
opprobrium." al know ITS opprobrium
in the book, bat prefer opnrogrium. T"
.But what does opprogrium mean 7"
DamfinO. but it expresses my thought
more clearly"
The little folks wanted the head of
the family to spend the evening with
them. Father said he thought of At
tending q meeting. Various measures
were discussed for keeping father at
home, when Tommy, aged 5, addressed
his brother aged !, ~ iollows: 81 tell
you what we'll do. Well put . sign
on the front dOor-'No admittance to
60 ont of the house nights"
A restaurantaur called upon mark
etman, and imparting to him the secret
that he kept clearinghouse, asked
him to pick out the two toughest fowls
in his assortment. Tho dealer sorted
over the pile and selecting two sufficient
~ emaciated birds, handed them out
With chuckle and remark: "There,
l guess they'll do for an indiarubber
gallet." "All right" said the customer
with q satanic grin, III guess Ill take
the others; you can hang those two
up. The dealer hung them up with .
saddened air.
His bootmaker brought him mum.
Der Eve and quarter boot to 70 on o
six and half foot boot, and the process
Of trying it on convinced him of the
fortures he would have to undergo in
what Shakespeare has called "the tam.
ing o. the shoe" "Too small" he says;
"they hurt?. They can't hurt. | made
'em myself from measurements I took
myself, and they must be roomy fit."
"But they do hurt .How IN Erebus
do you know anything about il! Are
you Q shoemakerl What experience
have you had, anyhow"
At an auction sale of miscellaneous
goods, the auctioneer put up wolf.skin
dressing gown and invited bids. An
old man inspected it closely, seemed to
think that there was . bargain in it, but
yet he hesitated to bid. "Dont you
want that :" asked the anctioneer.
eyes, kinder" was tho reply. "Then
Why don't you bid and take il! "Wsll,
I've bought heaps Of things In dry goods,
and 90 on" slowly rejoined the old man,
land never yet took homo anything
that the old woman thought was worth
tho price. II I got that ore robe fora
song; she'd grab It up, poll ct one end,
chaw ct the other, aud call ont, cheated
again-more' half cotton. That's the
reason l daren't bid !"