davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-27
How New York snohs An

How New York -SnObs Ape English SnObs.
Saratoga is really ten times more Dem
ocratic than Newport. Newport is the
home of the New York and Boston
turnkey. A New York turnkey is idi-
otto young swell, who belongs TO the
Knickerbocker club and who spends his
time at cards, champagne, etc. In the
afternoon he toOts a tin horn from the
top seat in the coaching club In his
conversation he affects limping, slangy,
English dialect, 1t is not even pigeon
English-it is SQUAD English. It is a
positive fact that there is class of brain
less young swells growing up in New
York who do not speak the good old
English language as it is spoken by w.
s. Groesbeck in Cincinnati, or Senator
Hendricks in Indianapolis The repre-
sentative western man could no more I'M
derstand these society Newport idiots
when they talk than they could under
stand pigeon English. Not that they
talk anything but twaddle, for they don't,
but because they leave off the American
r and talk in a teacup full of jumbled
up English slang. A day or two since
one of these American flunkiesAyoung
Hammersley, belieye-sat behind us
for two hours at the races and talked to
a descendant of John Jay in about this
manner: 81
Male Idiot-Aw, Mish Jay, ,joying the
races to-dayg
Female fdiot-Yeth; they're awfully
jawly, amt theys Right fun to bet,
Male IdiOt-Yeth, rather jawly to bet
when you win, you know, but beastly,
awful beastly to bet and lose, you know
Female Idiot-Do you lose? Well,
that want s. offiy jawlyl Lost myself
yest'day. Dare say you'll win gain to-
morrow, and then you'll think it jawly
fun, you know.
Male Idiot-Ol dare say shall; but
cannot help feelin' beastly bout losin'
yest'day, you know. D'you like boat
ing? Think it's right fun-s' offly jaw
ly, you know-and-
And there we sat and listened while
these two fiunkies-this male and female
flunkey-repeated the same slang by
words, ''awfiy jolly" 20 times, Fright
fun" 96 times, perfectly beastly" Asa
times, and You know 1913 times.
Now, / can stand good square slang
slang that means something-bu this
idiotic English slang, which the New
York Turnkey spins out and lives on in
Newport, is enough to-cause insanity. l
hope the first young idiot in Cincinnati
whose rich father, in an unguarded mo-
ment, lets his halfdemented son go to
England and pick up this slang-I say,
l hope this first young Cincinnati idiot
who dares to murder Mr.. Groesbeck's
English viii find himself dangling, shirt
less and hatless, from the middle span of
the great bridge.
SQUAD English is produced by rolling
up the. tongue, leaving out the r.. and
pronouncing sure as if it were shaw !;
pure, as paw; rare, as raw, etc. The ad-
verb sure would be compared thus :
Shaw, shawn, shawest; (pure) paw, pawa,
pawest; (more) mo, moa, most; (poor)
poo, pooa, poest, etc. It's the negro di-
alect of England, stolen by turnkey New
Workers, to let as common people know
that the fool who is talking has been in
England. Ea q
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-27

FRFF 1t tells you all about this
Great Southwest. 1t is full of beautiful
pictures.
This Guide is sent FREE to everybody. It
tells you about the entrance into Texas at its
Gate, the beautiful city of DENISON; and
this Guide also contains pictures of scenes in
the BEAUTIFUL INDIAN TERRITORY,
also scenes in Texas and Kansas. 1t contains
a scene at Hannibal, No., showing steamers
on the Mississippi river, and railroad train
starting for the beautiful Indian Territory,
and Denison, Texas. 1t tells you where to GO
to raise sheep and cattle.
This new Guide to Kan-TE"O A @
sas and Texas tells you Il hAAO
about the wonderful NeoshO Valley of Kan
Parsons, Kansas, and where to buy a SPLEEN
did farm at very low figures. 1t also tells
you how and where to get Excursion Tickets
to Chanute, Humboldt, Emporia and juno
ton City, Kansas. It also tells you how to
reach Fort scott, Kansas.
This Guide tells you where to buy lands in
Texas from % cents per acre up to five dollars
per acre. IL tells you about the lands, the
crops, the people, the churches, the schools,
the rivers, etc, and is full of beautiful en-
cravings of scenes in the wonderful Indian
KANSAS5SesnPddi tor Z c S1S Te1 We
mail it to anybody free of charge. Address:
JAS. D. BROWN,
Texas and Kansas Emigrant Agt.
SEDALIA, Mo.
You can get these Free Guides at IOl Clark
street, Chicago, Ill. or 102 North Fourt Street,
st. Louis. BIO 12-tf
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-27
Sweet Hand That Held in Mine.

Sweet hand that, held in mine,
Seems the one thing that cannot i've
The souls one anchorage in this storm and
doubt,
1 take thee as the sign.
OF sweeter DAYS in store
For life. and more than life when life Is done
And thy soft pressure leads me gently on
To heavens own evermore.
have not much to say,
Nor any word that hts such fond request;
Let my blood speak to thine, and bear the
rest
some silent, heartward way.
Thrice blest IS the faithful hand
Which saves cen while It blesses; hold me
fast
SO near the better land.
Sweet hand that, thus in mine,
Seems The one thing / cannot live without,
My hearts one anchor in life's storm and
doubt,
Take this, and make me thine.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-27

''Of all the poets, darling one,
Who've rhapsodized of love,
Which one evOkes your ardent praise
All other bards above?'
And as he took her in his arms
And kissed her DER and DER,
She sake in tones OF ecstacy,
20, Tommy, give me moreP'
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-27

A Michigan woman hid her cow under
the hay, to keep her out of sight of the
tax collector, and a newspaper calls it
a case of COW hiding by female.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-27

A sentimental Dutchman gave his
sweetheart flower which he called a
Don't you forget it.'
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-27

The girls of Tuscola, Illinois, place
blue ribbon and a mitten on a table when
their lovers come to visit them, and say
"ChOOse"
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-27

Gilmore writes TO ask eff any man ever
rode on a star?'' Certainly, my dear,
don't you remember when Balaam had
an asterOid?
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-27
THEY ARE THE BEST.

Gentlemen, Enclosed You will ind S225, and I
wish you would send me another dozen of YOUR
COLLINS VOLTAIC PLASTERS. BY the above
you will see tlrat do something to help others
in some way even IL not able to be up and
around. There are a number who have tried your
Ptassers Eh0 nao gwen CUT that al plaseers were
are the best they have ever tried have got along
this winter better than / have before IN three
years. Wished could have heard Of your plasters
loretta NJ. CROSS.
BALLsToH SPA, N. 2. March q, 1871.
Price. 26 Gents.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-27
B. F. YOHE & co.
MANUFACTURER OF
FirstcIass PianoFortes

STYLE 1.-71 octave; agraffe treble; rose
wood case; front round corners; carved legs
and Tyre, $3.50.
STYLE 2.-7K octave; agrafe treble; rose
woLd case; front round corners; carved legs
and Tyre; serpcntine mouldings around the
bottom of the case. $500.
STYLE 3-7z octave; agraffe treble; rose
wood case; front round corners; carved legs
and Tyre; serpentine mouldings around the
bottom, and heavy, solid rosewood mouldings
around the top of case $3.50
STYLE Ak octave; agraGe treble; rose
wood case; all round corners; extra beauti-
ful carved legs and Tyre; heavy serpentine
and top mouldings all around the case; back
finished same as front. 500.
STYLE Upright; TX octave; embracing
all the modern improvements known in this
class of instruments. Something that has
long been sought for in this country at Il
moderate figure. $500.
STYLE 2.-7SS octave; fancy case. $500.
PARLoR GRAND.-7X octave; full agrafe
scale; rosewood case; extra beautiful carved
legs and Tyre; heavy serpentine and top
mouldings around the top of case. $1,000.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-27
GET THE BEST.


Warmly endorsed by Bancroft, Motley
Fitz-Greene Haneck, N. Z. Willis, Elihu Bur-
rift, Rufus Choate, Smart, Prescott, George P.
Marsh, John q. Whittier, John G. SAKE, Dan
lei Webster, H. Coleridge, Horace Mann,
more than FIFTY college presidents, and the
best American and European Scholars.
NhIebster sis the Dictionary used in the Gov
w erDment Printing OfIice,' Aug. 1877.
very School and Family should have it for
L constant use and reference.
Dest family help in training children to be-
y come intelligent men and women
Ceveral years later, and has one-Hfth more
y matter than any other Dictionary.
The authorized authority in Courts of Justice
] for the meaning of words.
Etymologies and definitions far in advance
l. Of any other Dictionary.
Recommended by U. 8. Chief Justice Waite
u 'the highest authority for definitions %
THE BEST
j 80 different States and by so Col. Pres't
A bout 80, 900 have been placed in Public
n Schools by law or by school officers.
Contains 5000 Illustrations, nearly three
" times as many as any other Dictionary.
hree pictures Of ship, on page 1857, illus
] trate the meaning of more tRan 100 words
Gale OF Webster is 20 times as great as that
- of any other series of Dictionaries.
ALSO
WebSter's National Pictorial Dictionary.
1910 Pages Octave. 500 Engrayings.
Is It not rightly claimed that WEBSTER is
The National Standard e?
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-27

~ find your recommendations verv
good, Bridget" " Yes ma'am, and now
III see yours, ma'am, if you place"
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-27
Time Table
NJ. X. & T. r. r.

Trains leave Emporia as follows:
GOING NoRTH-Daily except Sunday.
No. 17-Man and Express .....-.... 3 :06 d. m
GOING SoUrH-Daily except Sunday.
No. lS-Mail and Express ........ As a. m .
Connects with No. at Parsons Other
Trains leave Parsons.
GOING SOUTH-Daily.
No. Texas Express. ........ 8 80 a. m
GOING NORTH-Daily.
No. 2-Chicago & st. Louis Exp. . IL :55 D. m .
(diiy esocepJ Sunddy)
No. 4-Hannibal & st. Louis Exp. - 30 d. m +.
No. has through Sleeping Car from Chicago,
Quincy, Hannibal and st Louis
No. has through Sleeping Car to Chicago,
Quincy, Hannibal and st. Louis.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-27
A MORBID SWELLING.

- GestLen!ess, II sent for one of COLLINS vol
TA1C PlASTERS, and 1t has been of great beneft
In reducing swelling In my left side that two ply
sicians pronounced Enlargement of the Spleen,
- 1. A. RISTER.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-27
Price, a6 Cents.

Becareful to call for CoLIINs'yoIrAIcP 1.As.
TER lest you get some worthless imitation. Sold
BY all Wholesale and Retail Druggists throughout
the United States and CanadaS, and by WEEKS o
POTTER. Proprietora. Boston. MAJ.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-27

A New Guide to Texas and the Beauti-
full Indian Territory.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-27
a .TORPm TTVER.

Is the fruitful source of many diseases, prom
inent among which are Dyspepsia. Sick Head
ache, CosttVeness, Dysentery, Bilious Fever,
Fever and Ague, Jaundice, Piles, Rheuma-
tism, Kidney Complaint. &c.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-27

ming through one OF the most popuions and
Interesting portions Of the country, with
many large and important cities upon its
line. It passes through Yandalia, bingham,
Tere Haute, Indianapolis, Richmond, P1qua
nbgiIi1as Pi,9sh1, So n, 49,
Harrisburg, Lancaster, Philadelphia, Tren-
ton. New ark, n. J., and jersey City, on its
route TO New York
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-27
.'.':ICOLLINS' 81
vOLTAIC PLASTER

An ElecEro-Galvan Battery combined
with q highly Medicated Strengthening
Plaster, forming the best Plaster for pains
and aches in the World Of Medicine.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1878-10-24
IKE MARBLEHEAD'S SECRET.

Old Ike Marblehead, who lived in
Pittsburg many years ago, was a close
man every way, keeping his money, his
opinions and his affairs all to himself.
There was an atmosphere of mystery
surrounding him, like a London fog,
and his neighborS, worthy people, were
very anxious to see through it. His
career in PittSburg as a storekeeper had
been profitable and without reproach,
but his friends, conscientiously micro
scopic as all friends are in their judg-
ment of one another, discovering no
stain on his character, were reasonably
angry, and talked vaguely about the
cloak of religion hiding very shabby I'M
der-garments; for Ike Marblehead,
bowed and venerable with years, attend
ed divine service twice on Sundays with
the regularity of clockwOrk. Although
his lank figure, long, sharp face, and
prolonged vowels stamped him as a
Yankee, there were those who said his
drawI was affectation, that be was one
OF those compulsory patriots who leave
their country for their country's good,
and that he was q son of perfdious
England. His want of communicative
ness was prolific source of aggrava-
ton. OF his antecedents, prior to his
settling in the city of cannon and Goals,
nothing was known, and in the opin-
ion Of those about him, some
Youthful error, banishing him from
his birthplace and relations, ac-
counted for his silence respecting
the past. In business point of view,
he was a good man. His checks were
always honored, and his orders always
filed. Without a wife and without
children, Ike Marblehead seemed to care
for naught beyond money and strict
observance of the forms of religion,
perhaps esteeming the latter a capital
investment of time. The owner of many
tenements, occupied by poor people, he
did his duty as a landlord to the very
letter, but he never gave TO the peor,
and would have his rent at the proper
time. Nay, he was once heard to say
that the man who fails to meet his mon
etary engagements ought to be put in
prison.
Well, il is evident that Ike Marble
head was-on no account better than he
ought to be. People in large cities care
little for one another, except CONNER
cially or politically, and are much to
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1878-10-24
ChriSt'S Second Coming.

DIR. Tying, of New York, said in re-
ply to Sun reporter, who interviewed
him regarding the approaching Pre-mil-
lennial Convocation in that city:
"The whole question rests on the
principle of Interpretation of the Bible.
If interpreted according to the laws of
language, it means one thing; if taken
in an esoteric sense, another. If inter-
preted in the latter sense, then Brigham
Young and the Pope have just as much
ground for their doctrines as the Prot
estants. Said little girl to her moth
er: Mamma, if God didn't mean what
he says, why didn't he say what he
meant?' That's the whole question.
The post-millennialist, for instance,
says that when in Matthew the coming
of the Son of Man is spoken of, it means
the coming of Titus and the Roman
army. We think it means what it says.
Again, take the correspondence between
the prophecies and the literal life of our
Lord. The post-millennialist will not
deny that the prophecies were fulfilled
in the life. The birth, crucifixion, burial,
resurrection, and ascension were all
prophesied, and the prophecies fulfilled.
Is it not sense to believe that the prophe-
cies concerning His second coming will
be in like manner fulfilledP"
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1878-10-24
HINTS FOR THE HOUSEHOLD.

Graham Bread TO a pint bowl of
wheat-sponge raised over night add
nearly quart of warm water.
Mdcaroons. pounds powdered
sugar, pound sweet almonds bleached
and pounded to paste, whites of 6 eggs,
grated peel of 2 lemons.
Fancy POund-cake.- ii cup sugar, of
butter, eggs, tablespoonfuls milk, ~
cups flour, ID teaspoons baking-pow-
der.
Boiled Batter P,alding.-1 pint of
milk, 2 eggs, ounce of butter, tea
spoonful salt, 8 heaping tablespoonful
flour; bake II hours.
Biscuit.-a of small yeast-eake and
l pint of water to make a sponge; to
which add a pint of milk, cup of but
ter and lard, tablespoonfuls of sugar,
large tablespoonful of salt.
.Jum6ies.-1 cupful butter, 2 of sugar,
of milk, 6 of flour, nutmeg, l tea
spoonful soda; roll them out, cut with a
tin cutter, brush them over with the
white of egg and sift granulated sugar
on before baking.
10 Use Up Cold MeGtS.-Prepare your
meat as for hash; fill deep dish with
boiled macaroni; on top of that place
the hash; cover 1t with tomatoes, over
which sprinkle bread-crumbs, with a
little butter. Bake until nicely Drowned.
Beef Ted.-1 pound of lean beef,
chopped fine; put In clean vessel with
cover; add pint cold water and 4
drops of muriatic acid; stand on back
of range hour; THEFT simmer hours
strain and add cloves and 1 teaspoon
full salt.
Corn Bredd.-2 cups of sour milk,
cup molasses, 2 cups corn-meal, Ii
cups white flour, small tablespoon soda.
dissolved in sour milk; salt; steam 3
hours. To be eaten hot. Slice and
steam when you want to warm it Up.
Nipce Pies.-1 pound of meat chopped
fine, 2 quarts apples, quart of cider, 1
pint of molasses, pound of brown
sugar, pound of raisins, salt, all kinds
of spice to taste; put on the stove in a
porcelain kettle, and let boil slowly for
/ day.
Baked Suet Pudding.-t pound beef
suet, chopped fine, pint milk, eggs,
salt to taste, -four enough to make thin
batter. Bake hour and serve hot.
Sauce: il cups powdered sugar, ia
blespoonful of butter, white of l cog,
teaspoonful vanilla.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1878-10-24
Discipline in Education.

The question how to maintain disci-
pline among masses of human beings is of
very wide application, and is therefore
the subject of great variety of expert
ments. In the wide field of moral con-
troll, it includes principal function of
government, namely, the repression of
crime-a department that has lately re-
ceived much attention. To collect the
lights furnished in each of the spheres
where moral control has to be exercised,
is to contribute to the illumination of
each. There has, undoubtedly, in form
er times been very great mismanage-
ment in almost every one of the regions
of repressive authority-in the state, in
the family, and in the school, in all
which an excess of human misery is
habitually engendered by badness in the
manner of exercising control. II is
perhaps in the family that the mischief
is most widely spread and most baneful.
By degrees we have become aware of
various errors that ran through the
former methods of discipline, in the
several institutions of the state, as well
as in the family. We have discovered
the evil of working by fear alone, and
still more by fear of coarse, painful, and
degrading infections. We have discov-
cred that occasions of offense can be
avoided by variety of salutary arrange
ments, such as to check the very dispo-
sition to unruly conduct. We consider
that great discovery has been made in
regard to punishments, by the enuncia-
ton of the maxim that certainty is more
important than severity; towhich should
be added, proportion to the offense.
We also consider that by a suitable
training, or education, the dispositions
that lead to disorder and crime can be
checked in the bud; and that, until
there has been room for such training
to operate, the mind should not be ex-
posed to temptation. We have become
accustomed to lay more stress in cult
waiting the amicable relations of human
beings, all which tend to abridge the
sphere of injurious conduct on the part
of ndividuals.-Prof. Balm, IN Popular
Science Monthly for November.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1878-10-24
Music in Half an Hour.

Not long ago a burly countryman,
standing six feet in his hobnails, called
at the house of a teacher of music, liv-
ing within 100 miles of Taunton Mar
ket. In answer to his rather powerful
knock, the door was opened and his
business inquired into.
al see by this here brass thing that
the lady teaches music" he said, in a
tone which implied some doubt on the
subject.
He was told his surmises were beyond
question.
"Then what 1 want is just to take a
lesson on the piano." he replied; but,
fearful of hastily committing himself to
a commercial speculation, he added,
cautiously
Is her dear in charges!"
He was referred for information to
the lady herself, and was requested TO
wait while his object was reported.
"Stop a bit, he said, with evident
mistrust of his resources, "you see it is
just like this; | sings in the choir at our
church, and don't know no music like
the rest of 'em; but be come down for
a training in the militia, and | thought
as how I'd have half hour with the
lady at the piano, so as to know as much
as t'others when get home"
You don't expect to learn the piano
in half an hour, do you?" exclaimed the
servant who had answered the door.
"Why, the young ladies who come here
are playing from morning to night, and
they come all the year round, and then
they can't play, all of them"
The country chorister opened his eyes.
"You don't mean that?" he gasped
" All the year round from morning to
night! What heap o. money it must
cost. to be surel don think I'll trouble
the lady. Only to think, stunning on
a piano from morning till night, all the
year round! Well, well and pulling
himself together, the musical militia
man went off in a fit of profound alb
StracfiOn - Td1lDfOu IED0 J CO1T7er
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1878-10-24
A Probable Cure for the Cotton Worm.

Early last summer the chronological
Commission, consisting of Professors
C. V. Riley, A. R. GrOte, and j. H.
Comstock, began a study of the cotton
worm which is likely to result in the
easy extinction of the pest. The cotton
plant is peculiar in having q gland on
from one to three of the larger ribs of
the more mature leaves, and u still
larger gland at the base of each of the
three lobes of the involucre. As soon
as Professor Riley learned that these
glands secreted a sweetened liquid he
inferred that the plant would be found
to furnish nourishment to the moth as
well as to the larv9, and drew attention
to this belief in the atlanta Constitution.
Subsequently, in company with PROBES
sors C0mstOck and Willet, ho was able
to prove his anticipation correct by
studying the normal habits of the moth
with dark lantern at night. The moth
is attracted TO the cotton plant by the
sweets which the leaf affords; and as
these sweets are first produced when the
plant begins to flower and fruit,we have
here possible explanation Of the well
hUOWH ldCJ ILldb lIlC WOi III ID hO-
ticea on the young plants, but first ap-
pears about the time of fruiting. 1t was
also discovered that the cotton moth
feeds on the honey secreted from glands
occurring on the cow pea, extensively
grown through the South as a forage
plant.
By taking advantage of the moths
love of sweets Professor Riley believes
that it will be no hard matter to pre-
vent the ravages of the worm. He is
now having experiments made to test
the effects of different poisons, mixed
with sweets, to use as bait. These bats
may be applied to the trunks of the
dead pine trees that occur in so many
cotton plantations, or to trunks of any
other trees, or they may be used in pans
upon which perforated platforms OF
wood or tin are made to float.
After the eggs are laid and the worms
Matched the most effective cure is Paris
green Scientific american.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1878-10-24

The italian newspapers call atten-
ton to the prevalence of pellegra, a
malady which, beginning with the skin,
impairs the digestion and nervous sys-
TEN, and becomes fatal. In Lombardy,
in 1880, there were 10000 peasants at
tackled by it; in 1856 there were $4,000;
and, though no statistics have since been
published, there are believed TO be now
10000. The disease is produced by the
habitual consumption of the flour of
damaged maize, but also by overwork,
uncleanliness, and unhealthy dwell
ings.