San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1878-11-23
Jones and the Barber.

entered the ,barber-shop and found the
barber reading the paper; wont have
to wait for my next" and he tossed his
hat into corner and seated himself for
a shave. t,..t,.i.t,4et,.r5a5
"How is ,this?' said the barber, read
ing from paper that marks its, witty
column with a blue pencil. "By George,
how's this? Pretty good, ], take it, and
he read: g., yJ9ul We. adl .a $50
""Did you ever see a pump handle any
thing? Did you ever, see a witty cism ?
Who ever saw o dog call cher?Ho And
the good barber laughed heartily at
these scintillations of wit, and said that
"Some of them fellers are most blamed
clever" ., ..,,.5..f, .,H, 10 a.IIor O. nr,
Then he turned to the yellow fever
department, aud after reading three or
four dispatches, asked Jones if he
thought the scourge would reach Oil
City. ,a,l ID. ,q .fa .&. f1o'
Jones said there was apossibility that
it would get here by the middle Of the
winter, and he would like to be shaved
and fixed up before it arrived. !.
The barber said it was terrible thing,
yawned, laid down the paper, and shut
fed up to the chair. He arranged the
towels about Jones' neck, felt OF his
beard, run his fingers through his hair,
scrutinized wart ON the side of his
nose, turned his lower lip down over his
chin, and asked him if he had his tooth
fixed in the oil regions or in New York.
Jones answered as best he could, con-
sidering that the barber still kept his lip
hauled down taut. "."' ,"
After examining the dental work on
the tooth, which he unhesitatingly pro-
nounced ga good job" the barber let go
jones' lip and went out to throw a
stone at dog TINT was barking ut cat
in the back yard.
When he came back Jones said he
would like to be shaved as quickly rs
possible, as he was in somewhat of a
hurry. .'a'
Certainly, certainly" said the bar
Der, as he spread the lather over jones'
face and began to hunt for a razor. At
ter examining several he began to slap
the strop with one, while he remarked
that the fall had probably set in in earn
est, and that the base ball fever was
about as bad as ever, etc. Giving the
razor one pull down over the side of
Jones' face, he wiped off the blade, laid
it down, took up another, examined its
edge, and whipped the strop with it as
before, asking Jones if he really thought
business was picking up any, and if he
thought it would rain.
Jones moved uneasily on the stocks,
and said he was sure there would be a
storm, and he wanted to get shaved and
have his moustache waxed before the
food came. ..- ... r-.
The barber grew pale around the
mouth, and his lips quivered. You
said that once before" he remarked
CURLY, don't say it again, please, Or
therell be trouble. I'm a gentleman
when dealing with gentleman; but I
know when I'm insulted, sir" .E
"Well, confound it ALL" exclaimed
Jones, very much out of patience, Il
came here to be shaved, and not to be
talked to death.
"Oh. you want to be shaved, do you?"
exclaimed the barber in rage. @You
don't want to be talked to death, don't
Won? \ barber can't open his mouth,
can't he? Oh, no. barber is a dog
goned machine, l suppose, and must
move about his work like wooden In
Jun in front of cigar store. All right,
all right you shall be shaved and have
your moustache waxed so blamed fast
it'll make your head SWIM
And, bucling down to his work, he
shaved Jones in two minutes and half
by the watch. and cut him seventeen
times 10y actual count.
Moral-Let barber talk. II is cheap
er than to be kept away from business
for two or three days while VA stop
bleetling.-Oa City Derrick.
II not unfrequently happens. in this
world of mistakes and thoughtlesSness,
that A man. even the hest Of men, may