The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-03-26
SUNBEAMS,
W~

| Inc Boston P0St says that queen EllZa-
beth used to eat with her fingers. Perhaps,
poor thing, she hadn't any teeth.
hav seen yung men who thought waz
too exemplary; they waz SO good they
want good for nothing else. Josh Billings.
Father-"Why, don't yer say yer grace,
Charlie2" Chariie-"Why, eos 1 don't
ike the look O. them there taters."
"What, childrenl playing soldiers on
Sunday" eyes, mamma; but we are
singing, Onward, Christian Soldier. ~
Harvard Lampoos.
Reaching after the unattainable. "A
man feeling up under the back of his vest
for the end of parted suspender. Bur
Iington Hawkeye.
A hair from the mad dog is said to cure
the bite, and the Worcester Press says that
solitary tress from the hash will cure
passion for waiter girl.
A new boot for gentlemen has steel
clad toe. The increasing army of book
and tree agents has had something to do
with the introduction of this fashion, no
doubt.
Young lady-"Oh, I am 80 glad you
like birds. What kind do you admire
most" Old gentleman-"Well, 1 think
goose, with plenty of stufiing, is about as
nice as any"
"Tn choosing wife" says the PArenologi-
cal Journal ''be governed by her chin"
The worst of that is that after having
chosen wife one is apt to keep on being
governed in tie same way.
It was rich manufacturer of New Jersey
who said to his guests, Ladies' and gen.
tlemen, afther the grapes ye shill have beef
shteak and masharoons, and thin ye shill
hev venison starlight from Venice"
A Canadian physician has invented an
article of castor oil that he says children
cry for. 1t is so pleasant to the taste that
the gentle inuocents do not know how it is
loaded. .-Butalo Express.
''For what was Cesar noted ?" asked a
teacher of his class. "He ct tu 6rutes,"
shouted little George Spinney. The next
day George had a patch in his pants
where the day before there had been
none.
An Indian, on being asked what he did
for living, replied, "Oh, me preach"
"Preach, said bystander; "what do you
get paid for ?" Sometimes me get
shillin', sometimes two shillin'." "And
isn't that mighty poor pay?" "Oh, yes,
but it's mighty poor preachin'."
Talk about female curiosity-it's all one
spell out sign on the top of high build
ing, and every other mothers son that
goes by will stand and stare for ten min
utes trying to make out what the first
idiot is looking at.-CtacinaUi Breayast
Table,
A lady resident at Boycrton, Pa, the
other night had desperate fight with
mad dog in her bedroom, and finally, hay
ing hurled $120 set of false teeth at him,
was pleased to See him disappear. She
awakened to find that it was all horrid
nightmare, but that the room was wrecked
and her teeth shattered beyond redemp-
tion.
new story comes from Oshkosh, and
the Madison (Wis.) Journal thus tells it,
A lady of color left pair of shoes for re-
pair, and after repeatedly calling for them
and being put off she ''lit down" on the
unfortunate son of st. Crispin and smoth-
cred him with kisses, to the great amuse-
ment of his shopmates. The next call
brought the shoes.
A gentleman married his servant. A
short time after their union they gave an
evening party. Conversation Tagging, ST.
lence reigned, when one of the ladies said.
'Awful pause!" The lady of the house
Immediately exclaimed, Awful paws, in
deed So would you have awful paws if
you had had done the dirty work in your
life that 1 have!"
Edward" said mother to her son, a
boy of eight, who was trundling hoop in
the front yard, Edward, you mustn't go
out of that gate into the street. mo ma
WON'T" was the reply. A few minutes
afterward his mother saw him in the street
manufacturing dirt pies. Didn't l tell
you," she said angrily, mot to go through
the gate ?" "Well, didn't mother" was
the reply. 81 climbed over the fence"
A new bracelet, outwardly of most
chaste, innocent and beautiful design, but
inwardly a ravening wolf, has Just been
invented and thrown on the market. 1t
has a wicked little secret spring that
reaches out and nips fellow by the cuff
the moment he touches it and holds him
there until pa can come into the parlor
and, gazing sternly upon the afectionate
and perturbed tableau, demand of the
young man what are his intentions.-
Hawkeye.
1t is related as an illustration of Victor
Emmanneps innate politeness that when
the Emperor of Germany visited him they
rode out together, aud knowing that the
Emperor had difficulty in mounting his
horse Victor had some stairs made for him.
He prided himself. despite his size, years
and weight, upon srringing lightly into
the saddle. The Emperor came out to
mount and found two pairs of stairs with
two horses beside them. "What," said
the Emperor, "do you mount in that
way !" ''Always, sire" replied the Re
QuaIantuomo, swinging himself awkwardly
| into the saddle