Mexico weekly ledger., 1878-05-16
and make the room look cheerful"

VhJs CAoiAADCu AaAo. oaiStiAS
low in q countenance of amazement
''what on earth is it saying"
"Oh, some nonsense some of your
visitors have talked into it some time
Or other" said her husband, nervous
ly, ''people talk all kinds of stuff into
a phonograph, you know. They say
anything for talk"
Mrs. Barstlnglow, looking only
half convinced, gave the crank n
other turn.
"This is deviIfsh good whiskey,
Bsrstay," calculated the machine,
very earnestly. "You dent get it
in Burlington, do your"
Mrs. Barstinglow gave a little
shrek.
"My DEAR" said her husband,
looking now quite as worried as he
had looked when he vas begging her
not to go to Keokuk, ''put it away;
somebody has had it out in the sta
BILE, and it might say something per-
fectly shocking, you krow. "Put
it away"
But Mrs. Barstinglow, upon whom
the spirit of investigation had de-
scended with great power, ground
away, and the phonograph, in voice
marvellously like her husbands, went
remorselessly on.
"Not much they don't make this
kind now. It's some old monon-
gahela. copper-distilled that Mrs.
Barstinglow's mother gave her for
medicinal purposes three years ago.
Fill up, there's plenty of it, and I
can replace it with any kind of bever-
age when it's gone. The old girl
won't know the difference"
Mrs. Barstinglow felt herself turn
ing to stone, but the next turn of the
crank brought out an uproarioLs.
"Ha, ha, ha! Here's to the O.. g. !"
That famed her cheeks into a
flame.
"For mercy's sake, Malachi Bar
stinglow," she shrieked, what does
this mean"
Mr.. Barstinglow now looked as
though he really did wish she had
never gone to Keokuk.
ats just as 1 tell you," he said,
with an effort to look unconcerned
that was like a humorous book, a col
lossal success so far as its utter fail
ure was concerned. Somebody has
been talking all sorts of nonsense into
it just for talks sake. How else
could it get hold of such dreadful
stuff in our dear little home lovely?
Mrs. Barstinglow didn't know, but
she turned away and the photograph
asked cal elessly:
Throw around for the deal!"
She thought she would faint, but
she didn't, and the pitiless machine
proceeded to remark, with o variety
of voices:
'It's my age"
You'll have to stroddle that blind
if you come in"
"Give me two cards"
''Chip one"
"'I'll see your little one and raise
you a couple"
"Push the bottle this way, Ben"
"Ain't you going to stay IN, Har-
Iy!"
Cant stay in on a pair of SKIES"
"Call you"
1.-TWO small pair, kings to head"
items and deuces. Take the pot"
"Barsty, get lis something to eat.
Old girl left the cupboard keys,
didn't she."
Lord, yes told her I was going
to keep bach, at home to save expen-
SEES and keep out of bad company
''Ha, ha. hal! Ho! no.. ho!!!"
"Oh," yelled Mr.. B~arstinglow, I'M
able to contain himself any longer,
while his wife, nor dead than alive,
over the p~honograph and
ground away at the crank in Q d c-ed
kind of q way. ''Oh. keep it up.
That's right! Keep her agoing!
it all out! Dog done the dia-
aslicai piece of black art and the vile
assassin that invented it! Keep it
Up! That's right! Believe g sense
less, diabolical piece of monstrous
mechanism rather than your husband!
her agoing! Keep it up!!!"
And Mrs. Barstinglow did keep it
Up. She kept it up and listened to
hat p~lionograph swear and shout and
lowl she heard it shrek, "Oh! my
'ye; my eye!" she heard it tell some
me to let some one else shave it
gain in the same place; :" she heard
t warn somebody to ''hold his head 7.
vel the stove-hearth and not let his
Iose bleed on the carpet" and, at
asst, as it assured her very thickly i
nd with some difficulty that it was
BAN of jorry gooffuf-fuf-fellows," :
nd that it ''won'-hic- won q ONE S
morning." she ground it into 81 s
nee and sank back speechless and
reathless, while MI. Barstinglow :
'ok the photograph out into the O
ack yard and smashed it into so h
any and such small fragments that 4
couldn't reproduce even q steam a
Dat whistle. q
~ VNTInENFr nE ,rIIE wan 81