The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-03-07
Mr.. Sarsaper Cures Bad Case OF
T0Othaehe.
breakfast Tablet


breakfast Tablet
When Sarsaper reached home Wednes-
day evening. he found his amiable part
rier dancing on the borders Of distraction
with q toothacbe that seemed to reach
clear down to the point of her shoulder
blade.
Why, this is certainly dreadful, my
DEAR said the good man, feeling
very uncomfortable, through sympathy.
Can't you find anything to relieve your
Have you tried anything p
"Have / tried anythingY Daniel
Sarsaper, are you losing your wits, or do
you like to hear yourself talk? Oh,
dear me, / shall diel How it does jump
and almost jerk my very life outl Don't
you understand me well enough by this
time to know that I've tried everything
in the house, and whatever / could bor-
row from the neighbors. Tried any
thingl Ouchl there it goes again. Tried
anythingl Well, that's all I've done
this blessed day first one thing and
then another. I've kept Amelia on the
run constant. Every shelf in the house
has been searched, and there amt bot
tie that hasn't been shook up and smelled
of. Ny mouth is all burned raw with
creosote. 1've blistered my cheek with
mustard, and burned my neck with hot
ashes. Gracious mel won't it never
stop9 But nothing does it any good.
I've made myself sick with coal-oil. Pve
almost strangled myself with pepper
mint essence, and dear knows what /
haven't done, but it's been waste of
time. The more l do and try to stop it,
the worse it gets. Mercy on us! How
it does hurt, and you don't seem to care
straw either. I wish l was dead-a
true as preaching / do. Maybe then
you'd wish you had tried to do some
thing for body when they was in such
mortal misery" and the disconsolate
woman nursed her jaw and fell into a
crying fit that made Mr.. .Sarsaper dig his
nails into his barren crown and wish
that he had little more hair to spare.
"Don't you think we had better go TO
the dentist, my dear, and get 1t pulled p
he asked with meekness that had be-
come as second nature to him by long
discipline.
"Get it pulled Oh, you brutal man
How you would like to see me butchered
by inches, wouldn't your 1t would do
you good to see that awful man break
my jaw with his horrid iron grippers.
But that's sight you'll never see,
Daniel Sarsaper-no, sir. Oh, graciousl
I'll die here at home with the toothache
first. And besides that, it's sort of
neuralgia that spreads all over the side
of my face. 1t wouldn't help it a bit to
pull half dozen teeth
But, my DEAR" said the considerate
husband, something must be done, 1
can't bear to see you suffer this way.
You've tried everything you know Of,
you say"
:" Oh, dear, mel certainly, yes, yes,
everything. Amelia can tell you the
same" moaned the suffering woman.
Mr.. Sarsaper walked the floor few
/ minutes in troubled thought, when his
face lighted up, and he said hopefully !:
You haven't tried smoke, have you ?
They say that's dead sure cure"
No, no, how could ], with nobody
here to fix it for mep'
"Well, I'll see to that" said Mr.. Sar-
saper, with confidence, taking out a
cigar and lighting it. "Here it is, you
must take a few good whifs at this, and
you'll be all right presently. Now, then,
watch me, fix your mouth as do; draw
it this way, and then puff it out so.
Don't swallow it. It's easy-try."
Mrs. Sarsaper protested that she never
could, and wouldn't, but the tortures in
her mouth and her husband 8 assurances
combined, finally prevailed, and placing
the weed in her lips she made the effort.
She had evidently been laboriag under
an erroneous impression as to the amount
of suction power necessary toinduce the
smoke to come in, and over-exerted her.
self in that direction. The result was
that her lungs were filed with smoke
and the cigar itself came near going
along. A newly married man would
have been scared into distraction, by
the strangling, choking, coughing
gagging demonstrations that imme
diately followed, but Mr.. Sarsaper had
had sufficient familiarity with occur
rences of a similar nature to keep cool
and dodge if necessary. The develop
ments of the next few minutes were
quite animated, and revealed to the hus
band that he had very sick and much
discouraged woman in his arms, but the
light of triumph cleaned in his eye, and
filled him with placid complacency
when he learned that the toothache hae
been completely cured, or at least for
gotten in the new state of affairs.