The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1878-09-13
SEFTTNGS.

Lost at sea-The sight of land.
Man appoints, but woman djsappoints.
A horse, unlike a man, is always pr.
pared to meet an oat.
AS they passed a gentleman whose or
ties we're terribly On the bias, little Dot
murmured Ma, he's got one eye that
don't 60"
DR.. Cameron, Of Dublin, says that the
secret OF female beauty is a layer Of t;a'
under The skin. That's why a 250 pound
wom m is always handsome.
- All sighed hungry tramp, '' wish
I was boss. He's nearly always got !"
bit in his mouth, while haven't bad {"
bit ir mine for two days
A little Irish boy fell down and bit his
tongue. lie arose from tie ground cry
ing and sobbing, and said to his brother;
40, S.aphan! think will | ever sp4ke Z"
Any geologst will cell you that ever
flint was formerly Il sponge, and d man VII
runs a free-lunch trap will tell YOU th,.y v,
"sponge" is always a " hard case"
Restaurant patron These sausage
are hardly up - ihe mark y Matter
"They amt, ell? Well, dye cxpec,
Italian greyhound and thOrousnb;st
Scotch terrier for two bits r.
An Alabama negro bet he could stay
in smokehouse twenty minufes AMI en-
dure the smoke Three hours ,ti,e benz
pulled oIt he revived emo ,gh t, say :
"Gdly, bat tor5 1t to sh7c ny moaf!'
A man may mike $l0 il d bAsi .ess
Transaction without getting cr4h} with j9y,
but this can't be said Of h,n when ",
manages to dodge horse-c4r 60 ductor
and secures a ride gratis.
Do not tride With the affections of j,
innocent young city girl; 10 not try lo
make friends with a male by sq"e, zn-
his hind foot YOU aspire either w.,
you will fad that life is Q miser.ble faaI
ure.
An ingenious chap has invented III
artificial honeycomb which relieves ms
bees Of much work. He hopes 70 pr,vhl.
them with neck yokes and buckets ior
carrying home boney--New Haoe@ Rey
lister.
A fop took seat in railroad car be-
hind a young lady, but On perceiyin9 81
nuu u aog, Ale moved off with an air o.
trepilation. "Don't be afraid she said
with rcassuring tone 9 J,p woAt bi;e
you; he doesn't like veal
The things which people are willing to
give us are the things We do not wa t..
When Lincoln was sick with the sinal!,po
be SAID to his attendant: "Send up tie
ofGee.seekers. At last I've gvt some
thing for each one of them"
A gentleman carried letter Of intro
duction from friend to stranger. The
stranger treated him coolly, and showed
him the door. A little investigation
showed him the reason. The letter SAIL;
Treat him ike trump but til,
stranger read it, Treat Iin like N
tramp"
Itis estimated that there are $4,000
young goats IA the neighboraood Of New
York, all ot them ready 10 eat up fences
on which circus bills are posted or to de-
liver vacant lots from the false iewelry ol
old tin cans. Wsll, goa ~ wails yoa
arc young.
In Maine d man got too much Of th,
ardent aboard, and was put into a coffin
to sleep off the effects Of the liquor.
Vixen he awoke be spraag ont IN hoi
haste, excEl,ming Glory The resqr.
rection morn has come, and I'm the hfs
man on the ground. Boston Post.
4 little daughter Of Connecticut cier-
gyman was left one day 70 lend door
and obeying summons of the bell, she
found d gentleman OH the stems who wished
to see her father. FatheF isn't IN, said
she; but il il is anything about the s3ul
can attend 70 you. [ know the whole
plan Of salyation.n