Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1878-06-29
Agriculture Q Freud! /!


A writer 10 the Cincinnati Hacs, having
nerused Horace Greeley book ahou; Farming
with the immediate eject ui becoming mud
aed. iuditcs Tie following, which he is careful
TO expluin is " DOT by Il. g.:
The basest fraud Of earth Is agriculture
The deadliest iJHjs fataus that ever eit,crcd
b beguiie, aud dazzied 70 betray Is saericulnre.
speak with feeling ou tits subject, FOR I've
been glittercd and begui.cd, aud dlyz'cJ and
destroyed by This same arch d-teiycF.
She has made me q thousand promises, aud
broken every one u them.
She has PROMISED me early potatoes, nud
the rain has drowned them; late potatoes,
and tie drought has Wiihercd them.
She has promised nae summer squashes, and
the worms have eaten them; 1intcr squashes,
and the hugs have lcyourel ;hom.
She has promised cherries. aud tho curculio
has stung ,hem, AID ,hcy contain living things
uncomcly 10 the eye, aud unsayory 20 the taste
She has promised strawberries, and the
young chickens have envcloVcd, them aud tho
eve cannot see them.
She has promised tomatoes, and tho old hens
have cncumu2sseI them, aud the hand cannot
reach them.
No wonder Cain killed bis brother. llo
was til.cr OF thc ground. The wonder Is
that he diiut XIII DIS father, and then weep
bccnuse be hadn't grandfather o. KILL NJ
doubt his EUly RISE potatoes, lar which no
paid Adam seven dollars % barrel. had been
cut down hy iegs. irum tio bead waters Of
the EuphrJtcs ills Pennsylvania wheat had
been wiuier-kil.cJ and WASN'T worth ,uttin.
lhs Norway oats lal gone o. straw, aui would
not Yield Use pccks per acre, 900! lbs black
Spanish r'atcrmcors bal t'cu si.,ll by BOYS,
who had pulled up tho vines, tf16cE down his
patent pickc, fence. aul written scurrlous
doegrfd al, over l.f back gate. Now1olcr
he felt mad when acsaw Al.i whist,ing along
with bis iuc French mcriu,Cs, worth eight
dollaIs a head, aui wool going Up every day.
No wonder De wanted o. 6il somebody and
thought he'd practice on Abel
And Noah getting drunk was not az al
surprising. lie Lad become an husbaudman.
He lad thrown away magnificent opportuni-
ties. lie might have bad q monopoly u any
profession ur business. Had Lcstudicl medi-
cine there woull not have been another doctor
within a thousand niles 10 call him Quack,
and every family would hayc bought "a bottle
Il "Noahs Cmp1ual Extract OF Gopher
y e.
clan, h. might have carried bis own ward
solid, anl controlled two-thirls Of thc dc!csai,s
10 every Convention. SIS q lawyer. hc would
have been retained in every case tried 81 tho
Ararat Quarter Session, OF tho old Ark High
Court Of Admiralty. But be threw away all
there advantages and took g. agriculture. For
a long time the ground was sO wet he could
f,lse nothing but sweet flags aud bulruthcs,
and these at last became drug 10 the market.
What woLdor tha. when at last be dif gci hall
pock Of grapes tho, wore not siung 30 death
by Jsphot's honey bees ho should have made
wino and drowned his Son0ws 10 " lowing
bowl"
The fact is, agriculture would domofailSo
saint. was almost q salb, when weui into
lt. I'm O demon now. tm 81 war With
everything. fight niysolf cut ct bed al four
O'Clock, when all my better nature iclls mo g.
lie still till seven. fight myself into the
garden 20 WORK like brute when reason and
instinct tell me to stay 10 The house aud enjoy
myself lIko a man. fight the pigs, tho
chickens, the mocs, iho birds the bugs, The
wofms-egergthiug in which iz ,ie breath 0l
Of life. fight The docks. the burlocks, tho
mulcns, tho tAistcs, The grnprs tbo wcsd-.
the rools--thc whole vegetable kingdom. !
Gght the heat. tie frost, tie rain, che iail-in
short. GgLt the universe aud gct whipped in
every battle. have no more admiration 10
waste On tie father Of George Washington ior
forgiyiug the destruction Of his cherry irtc.--
a cherry tree Is only cufculi1 nursery, and
tic grandfather II bis county Aucv o..
have bali d.zeu cherry trees. and iho day
my yodng George Washington is six years oh
IN give him d hatchc, anl tl.l bin to down
with every cherry tree or tlc place.