Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-12-01
WIT AND WISDOM.

1
method OF shaking hands by postal cards.
who would be candidate for the
governorshlp and fardels bear (whatever
fardels are) when baseball catcher is
the hero OF the men and darling of the
ladies, with $1,000 year2-Boston Tran
script.
Mrs. P. says she is much disinfected
with her new neutrality-suspicious. with
| her old one, which was on the road to
populous symetry, where she was enliy-
ened sometimes by seeing dozen faner-
ais In one day.
A chap of reckless language, speaking
to us regarding the late ''crash," said that
the bankrupt law was sssort of crash
towel for wiplng our indebtedness" He
went out before active measures could be
| taken.
Kidd is the name of Beaconsfeld's
physician. He CHARGED the old man So
500 for repairing his health at Berlin.
| The doctor finds his business about as
profitable as his name sake. the captain,
did IN former days.
An Oregon semi-monthly paper, having
"a circulation of over 300 copies" SAYS:
sat the time of the Berlin treaty.. the
Erpositor pointed out the fat that North
africa" etc. And yet we hear that the
west has no statesmen.
| Hand to-hand encounters are SUPPRESSED
ing the deadly knife and pistol in affairs
Of love. a lover with bloody nese is
not perhaps so romantic an object as one
on a stretcher but he wears better.-.Neao
York Commercial 4dyertiser.
How is the corpse97 asked an Ann
Arbor medical student of the picker.
The corpse'" was the reply, ''the corpse2
Oh, it's in the best of spirits" For proof
OF which he showed the liquor that it was
put up in.--ReokuE Constitution
A colore preacher or Norwich while
ago gave out the following announcement:
brothers and sisters, next Sunday, the
Lord willing, there will be baptizing in
| this place, the candidates Icing four
| adults and three adutresses.'
A Buy and Sell-O Operator (apropos OF
customers beard): ''Yes: great improve
ment indeed, sir, since you took our
Balm ofIllyria" Of course you will try
another bottle2' Customer (dryly): mo,
| thanks; haven't tired the first yet"
| some recently discovered inscriptions
en- buried bricks bring to light the as
funding revelation that King Ahasuerus
hanged Haman because he invented the
accordion and put the price down to
S1.75 so that every young man might
have one.
It's all very well to talk about low
| prices and how cheap dry goods and
clothing are, but what is all that to the
average American citizen who has to pay
war prices for his absolute necessities,
such as whisky. cigars and porter-house
steaks2
It was probably young man from
Middle Haadam VINO made his first adj
vent to the metropolis by the midnight
train, and respectfully asked the MI ht
clerk of the Aston house 'if it would be
any trouble to Mrs. Astor TO keep him
all night. ''-Hartford Times.
In England correspondents are dis
missed by editors with but scant courtesy.
A shrinken maiden forwards some verses
upon "Bunch Of Violets." The compo-
sition is .hus acknowledged Your poem
has seen the light. We lit our cigar
with it."
A new Duluth city ordinance gives the
awful warning that "any COW of either
sex, hereafter found sporting bell or
ringing the same within aid limits shall,
upon conviction thereof, DE subject
to fine or imprisonment or both, at the
discretion of the court"
One Of the best cures we know of for
small-po is to have a fellow poke his
head in at the door of the patients room
and whisper in stage aside, SIS he dead
yet? I'm alter that ulster!" We have been
there, and know what it is to live just to
spite fel.ow.-N. Y. Commercial Adcer-
tiser.
In an account of large funeral in
Boston lately the writer remarked that
reserved seats were filled by mourners
!; during the rites" Judge Of his astonish-
ment upon reading what the printer had
!; transformed the sentence into: preserved
meats were spilled by mou1ners during
J three fights.
!, At Dubuque wedding the other day
among the wedding presents ostentatious-
| ly displayed was a $1,000 bill a present
from the doting father to his darling
daughter. After the guests had departed
the old man cooily rolled w the bill and
put it in his vest pocket, and that was the
end OF it.
. Defencelcss citizen (afraid Of burglars,
to his housekeeper, on retiring for the
night: "There, Mrs. Binks, II they at
tempt to come in here, you see, the bell
I will ring, the dish-cover will be thrown
r down and the coal-scuttle will be upset;
], so I've no doubt we shall hear them, at
{ any rate. And the man trap I've set just
t inside the drawinG-r room door.
t A newly married man went home the
other evening and found his wife asleep
on the lounge. He kneeled beside her
and devoured her with his loving eyes
( john" she murmured in her sleep. Eyes
I my pet; what is it7'' he whispered, thrill
: Ell to his hearts depths by the calling OF
his name. 'John," she again murmIred,
] sspare-rib is only nine cents pound
, The thrill passed off.
Oil City Derrick: Burglars entered
, summering in Pottstown, this state, and
I carried off some silver spoons and cloth
: ing. In rummaging through tie house
they came upon the clowns jokes, which
he had in pickle liz the cellar, and they
= Immediately took off their hats and pro
! ceeded with their work with uncovered
r heads, thus showing that burglars have
t as much respect for I'D age as anybody.
They were discussing the charms Of ar
actress whom one of the gentlemen of the
i company affected to regard as the hand
e soonest women on the stage. 'She's nj
e bad looking" said another, but one o
r her ewes Is Ter than the othern g Ali
e hal" said the other triumphantly, thar