The Portland daily press., 1878-07-17
The Berlin Concert.
A PIeface from Punch,

The Light was dark; only far-off gleam on
the horizon gave faint and doubtful promise of
better day. The low rambling of recent
thunder rolled in the distance. Flashes of
lightning ever and anon told of an atmosphere
still charged with electricity, even il this had
not been proclaimed by the sulphurous and
sitting air.
But what is this discord that bursts upon the
darkness?
Squeakings and shrekngs, groanings and
gaspings, grumbliugs in veiled bdsso profond0
alternating with squeals in agonizing alto con-
fusion worse confounded of sharps aud fats
dominants and subdomnant, erotchets and
quavers, diplomatic semitones and undiplomat.
ic protests-mingied squawkiugs as of strings
violently pulled many ways, blarings as Of
brass, wailings as of wind
Never did more horrible eharaeari make night
more hideous.
''Confound the catsr' murmured Punch, as
he turned uneasily on his hot and r1mpled
pillow.
s.Not cats, MASTER" growled Toby from his
post Of guard at the bedside; ''only the Berlin
Orchestra tuning for the European concert"
1t was hard to believe that the long prom
ised concert was coming of at last. But Punch
can trust his watchdog.
The master was wide awake at once, up and
dressed and deep In the list of the principal
performers which Toby had handed to him.
Beaconsfield and Bismarck to alternate the
duties of conductor and first fiddle; Salisbury
for Beacons6elds second fiddle; Schouvsloff,
big drum and leader of the Russian Horn Band: I:
Andrassy, ophicleide; Wsddington, flute and
French cor de chase; Corti, viol da gambia;
Mehemet, cymbas, tambOurine aud Turkish
crescent; Roumanan Guzla, Greek Tyre, Jews
harp and other minor instruments incidental to
the concert, by Messrs. Bratiano, Delyanuis,
the leaders of the Israeitish Alliance, and
others.
"Qaite star orchestra" murmured the mas
ter. "What a pity they didn't get 1t together
two years ago! Why should Europe have had
to wade her way to her concert through a sea
of blood, across waste Of war strewed with
hdeous wreck of massacre athwart misery un-
tod-famine and death, and outrage worse
than death? Aud what discord by way of
introduction But the more trouble in tuning
the more chance, let us hope, of harmony to
come"
So saying, but with sigh of misgiving,
Punch made his way to the concert room through
double row of special correspondents who
bowed respectfully ss he passed.
Beaconsfield, baton in hand, was at his side
in q twinkling-leaving his seat for moment
| to Salisbury, his second fiddle, who seemed i'll
at ease under the new responsibility. Was he
thinking of the Conference at Constantinople
and what it came to?
"What can do for you, my dear and illustri-
| Gus confrere" exclaimed Beacopsgeld, blandly,
| as he made movement to take Punchss hand.
"Let me see your programme" said Punch,
| politely waving the proffered courtesy.
'Of course have settled it. all beforehand
| with Schouvaloff and Bismarck-but only,.,.
| visonaly.'' hastily observed Beacousfield
Somebody must settle" rejoined the Master
| "or we should have the music 10 nice mud
| die: But you ought to have taken me into coun-
| Gill;"
Beaconsield, for once, bIushed, as he handed
Punch q paper.
'You will see it Is by no means as Schouval.
| off would have had IT," he coEtinued, compla-
| Gently. 'St. Petersburg taste is bsrbaric.
They understand nothing but brass and wind /;
and their best players are always making false
| notes. We have modified the Panslsv move
| ment very considerably; cut short the Russian
march, and altogether suppressed Ignatief' s
Overture to the Siege Of Constantinople; be-
sides curtailing their Bulgarian symphony of
which there was ridiculously too much. 1t Is
true we have given them the sBlsua Donan'
| Waltz, with the Sofia, Shumls, and Varna vari-
atlons, the Bessararia seherz0, and the Batoum
2arcorote, but en- reodache we have restored the
Balkan passages for the Tarkish band"
But how about the integrity and indeperd-
| ence of the Ottoman"
Beaconsfield shrugged his shoulders. "a
mere fdeon de pdrter. We know what that sort
of thing MEANS" be added with a smile "All
very well for jingo air at the music halls, bat
in European concertr"-snd he winked, and
all but whistled he put his finger to his nose
with an air OF infinite significance. ssBut
there was no alternative. Andrassy has been
very troublesome. We all know he has a did,
cult part to play, but he will play 1t In his own
time and way, no matter at what risk OF the
general harmony. It is arranged that the VI
ennese troupe are to lead the Bosnian and Her
zegovinan concerto. II they don't fiud them
selves iu mess before that is done-but that
is their affair. As for England"
"You will allow me voice." interposed
Punch, firmly, "when it fcomes to the English
part of the programme. Though am not
precisely WagneriaD, in the European con-
cert England must go in for the music of the
future, with peace and progress, justice and
national right for her key notes. Alb, IL we
could only cut down the military bands Ger
man and French, Austrian and Russ, alike!
Amidst the overpowering din of big drums
and trumpets, trombones, flies and bugles the
European concert may yet end 10 worse chart.
0ars than this with which 1t opens"
AT all events, hope you'll like my setting
OF 'Humpty Dumpty'?' anxiously whispered
Beaconsfeld, "whatever the Turks may have to
say to it"
"The less of that air the better" said Punch:
''At least without an English conductor for the
Turkish instruments, an d one whom England
can trust AT any rate, you had better let me
give you lead. Here is my music book
So saying Punch placed on the stand his
SEVENTY FOURTH VOLUME,
and with Beaconsfield still nominally 10 DOS
session of the baton, b1t well under Punch's
eye, he proceeded to Educate the Educator.