Litchfield enquirer., 1878-02-14
CLIPPINGS.


 ky straight.
 Every man is regarded as reformer until proven innocent. ta~ss,E~.
 One old hat from America makes a New Zealander whole suit of clothes.
 Osman Pasha wrote to a Chicago lawyer asking the cost of seven barreled divorce.
 Clothes are luxury In Ujiji a postage stamp over the eyebrow is considered full dress.
 If a lady. gives gentlemen the mitteni the proceeding may be regardedas slight of hand performance.
 An Aberdonian recently bought horse by photograph, thus literally getting the carte be-
 The difference between Jim Blaine and chil- blain is that the former suggests sore head and the latter sore foot.
 The Worcester Press reminds Gail Hamilton that there is no pop when champagne bottle is opened the second time.
 is "almost intoxicating in it's beauty." A sort of Holland gin, we suppose.
 ''He is man after my own heart, pa, ;" said Julia, reverting to Charles Augustus. 'sNon- sense P replied old practical. "He is a man after the money your uncle left you"
 It is estimated that there will be deficit of 8 million pounds in the English budget thisyear. How much ought their old budget to weigh, anyhow?
 A wise man in Des Moines, Iowa, refused to buy his boy skates until the latter had earned money enough to pay for his funeral expenses.
 Simon Cameron has been invited to lecture before a reif@ous audience in Pennsylvania How would ''The Widows Might" answer for a subject?
 The man who has written anything for the editor and didn't Scratch it off in hurry" will please call at this office and hear of some thing toshis advantage.
 Truth lies at the bottom of we'll" We have often verified this by looking down into a well and seeing Truths honest countenance in the smooth water Worcester Press
 A land speculator in describing lake in one of the western states says it is 90 clear and SO deep that by looking into it you can see them making tea in China.
 A little girl on hearing it said that she was bprp on Queen Victoria's birthday took no mo- tice ofit at the time, but day or two after ward asked her father if she and the Queen were twins.
 1fhes Chicago Times, says with sadness pe- culiar to its nature, that the death of MT. Bowles has demonetiZed Charles Francis Ad- ams.
 They are finding oil deposits and salt springs in the Black Hills region; and almost every thing in fact except hoop-skirts.
 It takes 216O bees to fill pint cup, notwith- standing a single bee takes up SO much room in fellows Summer trousers leg.
 A small boy, arrested for throwing stones at tbe windows of Independence Hall, the other day, got off on the plea that he was only ''rocking" the cradle of liberty.
 "Goin to church this morning? shouted Amos to his neighbor across the way. s.No, sir" 'Headache?" 'No." Children sick?' ''No.', "Whats the matter?" ''Kimball." '"Nough said"
 Grant has the eyes of beast. People may think this mean dab at the eX-president, but if we know what we are talking about, he is ion-ized in Europe.
 The first umbrella appeared in England in the year 1877, but history does not inform us when the first umbrella disappeared, and who carried it off. Almost any man can tell about what time the last umbrella disappeared.
 Forty San Francisco men have fortunes ex- ceeding four millions of dollars each. Forty others have from one to three millions apiece, and about thirtY-five others have nothing. s#
 She said, ''Oh, yes, am very fond of little boys" and as snow ball struck in the back of her neck she added, 'I feel as though I could eat a couple this minute, boiled"
 The ancient Carthagenians used leather mon CD. So that every time an irate old parent kicked his prospective son-in-law off the moonlight stoop at 11:75 p. m. he gave the young man about $11. But the young Carthagenian rarely appreciated the gift.
 ''Some blundering idiot has put that pen where can't find it ?" growled Old Asperity the other day as he rooted about the desk: "Ah' um, yes !; I thought so, he continued in lower keysas he hauled the article from be- hind ear. .1 &'f.S
 A red-haired lady who was ambitious of literary distsnction, found but poor sale for her book A gentleman, in speaking of her disappointment said Her hair is red, if her book is not" An auditor, in attempting to relate the joke elsewhere, said: ''She has red hair, if her book hasn't" They do say that Lydia Thompson left this this country and is going to leave the stage because-that is-the fact is, she looked as though-well, she wasn't growing lean ex- actly but somehow the audience couldn't get rid of the impression that she was walking aronnd on stilts.
 One doesn't realize what hard worked peo- ple we American are until he comes to look at | the salient statistics. According to Commis sioner Raum we chewed up something like sixty million pounds of tobacco last year. Re fleet how much motion of the American jaw il | involved in that statement. ...-- l You've noticed, boys that the paper tha can't command paragrapher ofits own, steal. all its squibs from the papers that support those indispensable adjuncts of nineteenth century journalism, and then handsomely de- 1 votes it's narrow mind and doubtful wit to sar castle allusions to the sources from whence il obtains the most interesting matter that appears in it's columns. ga saa Hss The other, evening sprightly little girl about seven years old entered store on Wood ward avenue, and after considerable hesitation she whisperingly inquired of clerk, s'Do you keep nursing bottles here ?" -tssWe do" he an. swered, and exhibiting two or three different styles, he asked which she preferred As she was looking them over he remarked, ''It's fol your little brother, suppose?" ''Yes, sir, it is," she stiffly answered. ''You didn't think lit was for my son, did you ?"|A eS FA-A t~'
 lKENTUoKY's OIL FIELDS. A correspondent calls attention to the oil interests of the state He says very truly that Louisville has be comic a most important point for the refine ment of coal oil. The Southern States are maily supplied from this point The greai natural oil belt extends from Pennsylvania through West Virginia into Kentucky and Ten nesses. .sYou do not know thas Kentucky ii cut up. with many branches or forks of the l great oil belt. One great main belt extends along the base of the mountains, another, fork of which passes through Barren, Gfayson, Ohio and other counties of Kentucky before it cross. es the mighty Mississippi River,- enters South ern Missouri and crops out once more in the Ozark Mountains in Arkansas, where petrole. um is found oozing from the surface as in l