Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1878-12-11
ruNNYaRAPHs.

FuNNYaRAPHs.
ARE watered silks dry goods.-Puck.
A SCRATCH race-Hens.
LITERARY remains are are tho only
ones safe just now.
A MUDDY country road Is something
to add mire.-PHck.
All, yes, Edison's light to the eyes 10
the light of future daze.--N Y. Ezpres
A GREAT deal of useless gas IL often
created by sharp retort.
SEND along your big applesl On corel
On cOre!-Phsla. Bulletin.
The canvass made by politician may
be for sale.-New Orleans Picoyune.
WHISKY is about the only enemy man
hassucceeded in really loving. Daabswy
Meas.
A BOUQUET is a good scenter-piece for
the dinner-table.-B0ston Commercial
Bulletin.
81 DON'T like winter" said one pick
pocket to another. Everybody has his
hands in his pockets"
LET not your hearts be troubled pro-
vided diamonds are trumps.-New York
Graphic.
AN East End man is 60 busy he doesn't
order suit of clothes because he can't
get time.
If you catch man stealing your um-
brella, arraigu him on the spot.-Boston
Transcript.
WITH many of our contemporaries,
last years jokes are this shears jokes
Nev York Nescs.
INQUIRER" No; Talmsge's ser
mons are never preserved. Nobody can
can cant.-GrapAic.
HINT for the school board: Employ
married women if you wish to get dicta-
ton properly done.
WHEN the contribution box comes
round, if you dom give cent you should
nod, and noddiDg is ascent
A WESTERN paper explains It didn't
mean to say that Mayor Snooks was
tight" but that he was right.
"VoLCANo," according to Brooklyn
scholar, is a mountain which gives
forth smoke, fame and lagdr."
RESURRECTION Day will have to take
back seat unless this body-snatchiDg
business is stopped.--NeD York Star.
The height of social exclusiveness-To
"cut" your artificial teeth because they
don't really belong to your "set"-
Funny Folks.
AN elegantly-bound copy of Sankey's
songs was put up at church fair and
rafled for. Was this game of chantsf
- Whitehall Times.
A YOUNG lady who has . young man
keeping company" with her, who is
employed in q telegraph Office, calls him
the electric spark"
THE borrowing fend, who is always .
little short Of change, Is an enemy to
whom no quarter should be ahown.--
New Orleans Picoyxne.
A LITTLE boy asked his mother: DO
at the toesfJ aNo.n Because toes
wiggle and heels don't"
JOHN writes to ask IL "Old Boreas
ever had any wiyesi" Certainly;
didn't you ever read about the Merry
wives Of wind, sir i"-B BSooklyn Eagle.
He tests at horse cars that never felt
stout female person with baaket mis-
take him for stuffed hair-cloth rocking
chair.--New York Commercial Advertiser.
THE following classical poser i sub
mitted for college boating clubs: Did
Leander swim the Hellespont, or did
Hcro?-Mesr York Commercial Advertiser.
"THE strongest propensity in WON
ans nature" says q careful student Of
the sex, /" il to want to know what ID
going on, and the next thing h TO boa
the job"
BY the use OF the microphone you can
hear the rope walk or the BUTTERFLY
Boston Globe. Or the gum dr0p.-FSee
Press. Or the fall Of the year.-Riok-
ssond Ha.) Baton.
Why il It that when, BY mistake, .
lady gets into smoking car, abe has 70
turn up her nose and talk 20 much while
she il trying to escape TO another car!--
Nev York Herald.
A HRsPECKED husband said i extern
uation Of his wife's raids upon his scalp,
You see, she takes her own hair od 70
easily she doesn't know how n hurts -
have mine pulled Out.
A FELLOW by the name OF Ephraim
Haxeltipe wrote to downtown book
seller ss follows. "Dore spr; If yew
hey gut book called Daniel Webster
on I bsige pleas to send me = copy by
Poser's express G. o. d.-i want ter git
tomorrer If / kin, caus my spelin techer
says oughter hev it ~ Boston Poe.
A sKrPTIC who was badgefing simple
minded old man about miracle and
L ~ - n IL ~