Connecticut western news., 1878-11-06
WIT AND WISDOM.


 A man who will allow people to slap him on the back and call him Jack, never amounts to much, either in a so- cial or business sense.
 We love most things because they are lovable, we love them for their own sakes; all but tooth-no man ever loved tooth for its sake.
 -"A hierophant whom it were the flattest sort of baseness to call a duo decimo" is what an exchange calls party man who doesn't vote.
 You may not have been born gen. tleman, but if you act like one you have the satisfaction of knowing that nature made the blunder and not yourself.
 A fly never appears to such disad- vantage as when ne is mounted on his head in the centre of your squash pie, rubbing his hind feet together in the air. r
 It is not true that the world is get ting worse and worse. The man who is always looking behind him gets nothing but bad crick in the neck for his pains. .af
 -"Love is blind," and that's the reason why it can get along with one small hand lamp, turned down as low as it will go, as we'll as under blazing chandelier of fifty burners.
 -Single-minded men always succeed. The wedge, says Carlyle, will rend rocks, but its edge must be sharp and single; if it be double, the wedge is bruised in pieces and will rend nothing.
 --"Wby should be afraid Am I not soldiers son?" said little four year-old Afghan in the bazaar of Pesha- wur to n English tourist who said, "Don't be frightened-I want to sketch you" ..
 A patent medicine nah posted hand bills in every available spot in the vil- lage the other morning, and before night fifteen goats had enough medical infor- nation in them to run an eclectic col- lege.
 A matter-of-fact man was told by his doctor to put a check on bis stomach if he wished to live long and be happy. He went immediately to his tailor, who filled the prescription by making him plaid vest. @
 A subscriber wants to know how to prevent wrinkles. The only sure reme- dy is to commit suicide before you are thirty years old. (When mentioning this remedy toyour friends, add thatyou saw it in this paper.)
 Said Mrs. Fitz-Maurice: "The dear child is such an etherial creature, and so delicate. You will scarcely credit it, but she lost hair-pin out of her head one day last week, and she has had a frightful cold ever since."
 Truly has it been said, emphatically, Ill those days ought it to be repeated & loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. This it is that opens the whole mind, quickens every faculty of the intellect to do its fit work.
 Avert you gaze from the crosses of the future, you See them without the softening, sustaining grace which &C., companies them when they reach you. Let all your efforts tend to bearing the cross of the present moment.
 The battle of Sedan has been re- newed in Australia, where there hap pened to meet each other few weeks ago German and the French prisoner who slipped away from his charge and hiding in the woods escaped.
 A correspondent asks if it would not be doing the right thing to start sub- scription for tho support of Nancy Lee. The poor creature is now getting we'll along in years, and it would be but kind to smooth her pathway to the tomb.
 A good, honest laugh at good, honest joke or bit of sarcasm rubs out the gathering wrinkles of care but an ill tempered joke is like a poisoned arrow, which makes wound and leaves its poison after it has been withdrawn.
 The intelligent MT. James Wilson, of Bruce, Ontario, went to shoot crows and placed his left hand over the muzzle of his gun so as ito keep the crows from smelling the powder" till the last moment. He has more sense now, but less hands.
 Tt is fact to be jotted down in your memory and acted upon in your dealings with your fellows that if man is con- spicuously gifted in making first-class excuses, he is seldom gifted in any other direction. Nature can't afford to lavish all her gifts on any one mortal.
 "I would rather be kicked out of the world by one of Bobs boots than have to live in it with any one else," said devoted wife when discussing the ques- tion of marital ill-treatment. We com mend the speech to ladies who would fly to the divorce court on a much smaller excuse.
 -" Maxims is what ails me-" he said to the Police Justice. "Maxims busted me wide open" The court said it would like an explanation before fixing the fine. " We'll, your Honor," said the prisoner, "I drank rye whisky, and I didn't get drunk. I remembered that maxim, 'Try, try again. I tried rye again" "Here, that's enough of that P. thundered the court; '' this ain't
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