Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1878-05-01
.MlscE@kNgG:
Too 6orrowful for Business,
Memphis Avalanche,

Memphis Avalanche,
The customer was a stranger, and,
as he sat down on q coffin-boX, he
dropped his arms on his knees, put
his fingers together, and his head for
ward in bargaining way that fore
armed the transfer agent for the COM
ing struggle.
"I'm poor, very poor,"--the first
line of skirmishers in the attack, "Pve
scarcely enough to carry the poor boy
home that his mother may take one
last look at her idols face" snifiles
making the first column of the ad.
vance corps. 81 ask you, sir, to pity
my condition and do the best you can
for me-"
That grave-faced undertaken shook
the strangers hand, and in frenzied
and professional sympathy, and in
husky tones, said, as he thumped q
pine coffin to show its soundness
"Here's pretty one, strong wood
elegant polish, soft lining, and III
put it, sir, to you below cost-$lS.
i "Can't pay it, sir, can't pay it,
: disappearance of agitation. "There',
a knot there, and you see the pillow
is soiled. It's too dear entirely"
They fought sharply and tiercely
and the undertaken fell back to SIS
swearing that it was giving the CASE
away.
"Well, you will pack it in ice fol
that I suppose?" said the generous
grief-stricken parent.
"Great grave-clothes, no! 1t will
cost So to pack it in ice at the lowest
figure"
Hostilities were resumed, and tht
fight waxed hot, but the threat Of
seeking another coffin-dealer forced
!, the undertaken back to SIS for coffir
and packing.
"Well," said the poor sufferer, "I'm
too poor to luxuriate in ice, so W,
, won't pack him. That puts the coffil
at $l2."
"No, Stree; it don't"
"But you said the packing cost SO
and taking that from SIS leaves $l2.
"But-"
"You wouldn't swindle poor, an
guish- smitten father ?"-he capped
the interrogative with tears, and thu
undertaken despairingly gave in.
"The coffin has no handles sait
the parent, blowing his nose.
. "Of course not"
"Well, l can't take it then
"Why, man." cried the exasperatet
dealer, 1.-THE handles are worth $l.5O
"You must throw them in, or III
throw up the trade
/ "But I've already lost s. by thi
, bargain"
Cant help p, it. Will you not pit!
The handles were thrown in at 81
for the rig.
The purchaser paused and medita
: ted, and the salesman's face wore
puzzled "what-neXt" look.
"rm too proud, too extravagant,
unused the parent. "What matte
! pomp and show over the dead
Away with vanity! Iwont take tn
handles" To the undertaken: "Tak
, off $3.50. won't take the handles.
"What?" screamed the coflin-mar
Mildly and logically the parent pu
it: "Yon gave me the coffin an
handles for $l2. You said, morrow
er, that the handles were worth $l.5(
1 don't want the handles, and tina
makes the coffin $1,000. If you say
now, $40 for the coffin, I'll take it"
"NoW
: "Then, adieu, sir, adieu. ! will G
l where poor, smitten father, too dee
in sorrow for business, can find on
1who will not take advantage of hi
situation. Adieu, sir"
"Stop stop take it," called the col
: fin-man. otis ruinous, but you ca
have it,"
Then the parent pulled out his wa
let most plethoric, smiled sadly, an
4 paid over his $40 to the conquere
r tradesman.