Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1878-11-09
POST-PRANDIAL PICKINGS.
stolen sweets Shcarcd From
Sundry Sources.

BASE ball il u by-ninc game
\ ruToNIc figure oi speech - N.
LO"s JOUrndi.
Tn tree that shades the most pre-.
ciOus fruits Is the ro0itr"e.
President HAYES might he called one
oi the fair-i-sccs. 'dnfon RPosifoyy
JoHxNY stole one pancake and got sir
spankachCs without stealing. Bosioa
Transcript.
Is not detective in the nitcd States
Coinage Bureau mint's spy?-NrD
York Nsig.
The red man il generally sad The
Digger Indians are all grave diggers.-
Nc~ Orieos Picnp,H'.
BrrToN, button, who's got the button
to match the set on last years over
coat? Nc,r Hork Mil.
WATER fall was there, my country.
men" exclaimed Il milkman as u can Of
milk rolled ont Of his wagon. Ncr York
E,pcc~.
TnE buff suit the small boy 80 ire.
qucntly washed in the river during the
summer has been packed away in han.
ncls lor the winter.
SAID Brown, what little beauty
that il over 10 Joncs'' Replied Mr..
r., a very little beauty, Mr. Brown
- Bo>ton T,wDc,1pi.
WHEN female suffrage is an establish
ed fact -Cmind you, We merely say
whcn,l-thcrc will be little Tor all
dcr-men tO do N1r Yofl NcJy.
THE New York Democracy are try
ing the still-hunt. Boston Port. Fact!
And every time they find one they
drink il dry h1Gd,1,bia BuiLtn.
The American exhibitors ut the Paris
Exposition are becoming round-shOul-
dered in consequence Of the many pre-.
MUM me'lals they are carrying around.
The midnight Thomas concerts have
closed because the back yards and roofs
are getting cold and frosty and not
because the supply Of boot jacks hiss
gwen out.
"See here, boy; this makes the second
time I've called for YOU. Didn't you
hear me the first timc?' "NO, sir."
Then how do you know called you
twice?"-RODO !Soi;Pd.
TINS is the season 81 year when
lighted candle placed among lot Of pa
pers under the counter al store will
call out the engines and lead newspapers
b. remark that Chimneys should H. built
with more carr.
4 NV IoHg newspaper, which has
gwen the subject much thought, says:
at il singular fact that in cool weather
IL u -.
street car and shiver than walk and
feel good.
TALNAGE might have had six gates 10
! his imaginary hell a. well as four. Ia
| fact, IL would have been more convent
ent ~ have given the Brooklyn public a
/ gate by themselves and the New Workers
another.
The New York Mail can't zee why IL
should BE- q sign Of ill.breeding for man
to walk With biz hands in hi. trousers
! pockets IL j. not. II j. simply a sign
that be j. not a candidate for office and
don't want 10 shake hands.
| MICHIGAN seems ~ he the only state
! in the Union in which YOU can point an
unlOaded gun at man without IL going
I off. In iact, even q large majority Oi the
unlOHded guns relnse 10 go of when
there i danger OF hurting thief or
tramp.
some man with an cagernes5 for fame
has invented spnng-seat saddle that
will rock man 10 sleep on the hardest
going animal. What this country needs
is some kind OF saddle that will hold a
man down on the roof of horse when
he suddenly, and without warning,
points at the sky with his tail.-Ciacn.
adti Cheattda Tdbl>.
The following from the Guelph H,caLi
is perhaps the most atrocious pun ever
pennei !: Our Governors are always
getting things named after them. ],
must be more than coincidence, in
view of the fact that the Marquis o
LOrne is to govern us, that those hand
stamps TO mark shirts with are nov
called markers of lawn" We desire :,
take this opportunity Of informing th'
public that the Marquis OF Lorne is no
the inventor OF the famous lawn mower
We breathe parting scyths over this.