The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1878-03-23
A Peep at Parker's Paradise.
breakfast Table.

cep Ut IiTktTS Il dIdulSes
breakfast Table,
Good mornin', nam. Your name
is Hotchkiss, Pm told, Well, Pm Mrs.
Simmons-Eliza Ann Simmons. My
old mans name is Dan Simmons-he
drove the wagon that moved you yester-
day. Ike Moffit owns the wagon, and
Dan, you see, teams for him by the
month. We live in the drab-colored
frame over there, and this mornin' /
says to Flic-my oldest girl-says l.,
File, | b'lieve I'll put on my sun-bon-
net and run over and get acquainted
with Mrs. Hotchkiss,' says |. She may
feel kind O lonesome just movin' in
among strangers so, an maybe little
help about settlin' down would be &C
ceptable to her. Says she, Mother, /
would an so I've come over, you see, to
wish you may find it pleasant home
here in 'Parker's Paradise, though
how they come to call this part of the
fiat by that name is more'n could ever
make out, less n it's because old Parker
owns the most of it, an drives everybody
out that don't pony up the rent prompt
an sharp. | hope, man, the worry of
movin' hain't give you headache, as il
most generally does me-"
cts very kind of you" said Mrs.
Hotchkiss, !" and I'm sure Pm very much
obliged to you. | hardly ever have the
headache, and we have got along first
rate about settling down. Didn't have
very much to settle, for that matter, and
so it wasn't much of job"
81 hope you'll like it here" resumed
Mrs. Simmons. "The neighbors are all
poor folks, like ourselves There's few
of 'em pretty low down, an you'll hear
a good deal of disturbance at nights
sometimes, with drinkin' an carousin',
but the rest are all civil an try to do
something near right. I'd better eau
ton you, though, s'pose, against Mrs.
Slocum, who lives in the fifth house
down towards the fill. She's the worst
poster to borrow and never pay back you
ever saw. The only safe way is to not
let her get started with you. She owes
me six drawin's of tea, and no end of
starch, soap, coffee, flour, sugar, butter,
and so on, and she never thinks of
bringin' back tub till we send after it,
and then if you don't lend her every,
thing she wants she goes round talkin'
about you. Take FOOLS advice, and
don't have nothin' to do with her. An
then there's the plasterer's wife, in that
squatty, smudgy lookin' little brick Just
over there, with the gray pants in the
broken winder. She's another pest. If
you've got any nice clothes, Mrs. Hotch-
kiss, I'd advise you as a friend to keep
EN- out O sight, or that woman II be
wantin' to wear 'em half the time. She
never has anything decent herself her
husband bein' no-count loafer an
it's wonder to me how they get along
at allan so when she wants to 90 down
town or anywhere, shell get Mrs. Hedges
alpaca, or maybe Mrs. Nooger's knick-
erbocker, Sally Stenson's hat an Flies
cloak, an then when she gets all ready
the way she will strut as though she
didn't have borrowed stitch is the most
aggravatin' piece of impudence ANYBODY
ever saw, less n it's Jake Thrum's wife
In the upstairs, of the j'inin' house
She's the proudest vixen in the row, an
to see her away from home you'd think
her husband was pork-packer, by the
way she fans out. Dress? Well, | should
think so. Her clothes is rally elegant
that is, her outside ones the very finest
The biggest part of Jake's wages i.
packed on her back, while they live or
bread an cracklins nearly, an there aim
a solitary thing in their house Iwouldn't
be ashamed to have in my kitchen, an
they amt got even 50 much as a scrar
OF rag carpet on the floor.
sEI'p, u,onoo,
with things that don't concern me, an il
you should live here ten years, Mrs
Hotchkiss, you'll never hear me scan
dalize my neighbors, but Pm sorry
can't tell you the same about old Mother
Griiggs, who lives with her son an hi.
wife IN the back part of that long broken
backed lookin' buildin' Just as you turf
the corner: That woman has an awful
pizen tongue, an keeps it goin' mos
scandalous. She talks about everybody
an is always nosin' an pokin' around tt
stir up devilment. She'll talk to youl
lace as though her mouth WAC full Of
honey, but behind your back she's a.
bitter as gall Most everybody round
here is 'fraid as death of her, cause they
b1ieve she's witch, an don't want tc
get her down on 'em, for fear she'll put
some spell on 'em, or make their children
have fits, which she amt bit too good
to do. But | see there she comes now, a
hobblin' over on her cane, to see you,
an, l must run back home, for | told
F,llc | wouldn't stay but a minute.
YOU'D better treat the old woman civil,
an keep on the good side of her, an
don't for the world give her the least
mint mat I've put you on your guard
against her. Drop over an see me, just
as OFTEN as you can. Your chat has
6een real entertainin' to me, an
l shall always be glad to see you, an
File will be tickled most to death when
1 tell her how cute the baby is. / don't
know as ever saw pearter chile of it's
age. But l must 20. Good morniu'.n