Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1878-10-17
J Sips of Fun.
Take away women and what
would follow? The men.

freeze to death III winter get sun
lstrnck in summer. The other
| get killed by q tornado.
Any, geologist will tell you .tha
every 1int was formerly a sponge
and man who runs free luncl
trap will tell you that a sponge
lis always .'hard case"
A.young man in California be.
gan to read paragraph about /
mine to his sweetheart, commenc
ing, "Yuba Mine''-when she in
terrupted him with, Il don't care
liz I do, John"
A disappointed young mar
says the average shoe-makel
can frame more excuses in fl.
teen minutes than a picture-deal-
er could supply frames for il
two weeks. r
When a New Orleans mulC
is sunstruck they apply ice tc
the head and pour half a pint
OF brandy down the throat
Half the people wish they .werC
mules.
"No girls get along well with
out a mother" says moral ex-
change. This may be true; but
hereabouts girls work harder tC
get mothers-in-law than they dc
to keep mothers.
All hair-pins look alike tC
men, but let wife go off on {
visit, for month, and come
home and find a hair-pin neal
the door, and she can't wait q
minute to grow red in the face
Nevada papers, instead of
speaking Of a deceased citizen
as being widely and favorably
known, remarked: ''1'here
wasn't q saloon-keeper in the
State who didn't ache to trust
him."
Bereayed relatives, who send
in a long and very flattering
piece of obituary poetry, ask.
"Do you think we could add
anything more?" Yes, you
might add a fiye-dollar bill as a
guarantee of good faith.
1t takes a keener perception of
wise expedients and a more adroiI
tact to collect five dollars in the
present times without wearing out
seven dollars worth of shoe leath
er, than it formerly required to
run The government.
A fop took seat in q railroad
car behind a young lady, but or
perceiving she had dog moved
off with an air of trepidation
"Don't be afraid" she said, with
a reassuring tone; "Jip won't bite
you; he don't like veal"
care grapes healthy" asks ar
exchange. As a fruit, opinions
differ. George Washington, Girls
topher. Columbus, Noah, Napoleon
the First, and Mary, Queen Of
Scots, ate grapes, and they are all
dead now. Draw your own conclu
sions.
1t is a great thing for a man tc
be able TO tell to a second the
time when there will be An eclipse
of the sun ten years hence, but il
is a greater thing to be able to zig
ure up how to sit on a corner anc
whittle dry goods boxes, ana sup
port large family. -
.'Do you know" remarked {
rather fast youth the other day
to a suffering friend to whom
he was slightly indebted, "DC
you know that ] intend to mar
Try and settle down?" 81 dom
know anything about it" was
the reply, "b.b- but | think yol
had b-b-better stay single ant
settle up"
The lady was leaning on th'
arm of an elegant and wealthy
young man and leading her lit
tie daughter by the hand, whel
suddenly the child cried: "Oh
ma, ma, look there! See tha
gentleman that's passing. Don
you know him?" "N-no, m,
child" "Why, mamma, he wa
pa last year"
E. Questrian, giving rein to hi
humorous fancy, said to hi
wife: "If you don't stirrup you
coffee you will lose all traces Of
the sugar, and saddle be the cor
sequence" Mrs. Z. @. didn'
like the remark bit, but she br
died her temper so well that II
one could tell by her carriag
that she was a little sulky.
People have different notion
of time. A landlord who
his own rent collector, recent
called on an old tenant, wht
with pale, trembling lips, ia
, tered, "1'm very sorry, but time
; are so bad, and-and--I am nc
quite ready. II you could OF
lily give me a little time.
"Well, well, you have alway
! been a good payer" said ii
! landlord. GA little tine-ell