The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1878-05-15

never forget il be who does one shou',
rever remember it
An Illinois farmer boy. who has trie,
it. says. 1T Is hard work to ride a pig
its name is so short
A smile for friend. frown for a Zoe
ami . bold front for the world are reaui.
site to success in life
new song will soon appear. called
Put your arm around me, pet, the old
mans eyes are 'heL'
Arteru- Warl said of the Mormon.
ite--"Th-ir religion is singular, bur
their wive. are plural"
A younsster in a runaway carrisge was
asked il b. was afraid He said: No;
out Im afraid shall be-"
Man wastes his mornings in aniicips-
ling his afternoons. end wastes his after
Moons in regrettins his mornings.
Brown says he's been 40 often deceived
by the chicken at his boarding hou-.
that he now call, Il the mocking bird.
How is it that the tree. can put on
new dress without opening their trunks
Because they Leavs OFT their SUNNI, p
clothing.
A person lately returned from New
foundland says that the fog is 80 thicI
there that he used to drive q nail in il 10
hang his hat on.
One Of our exchanges contains the
msrri,ge announcement of Mr Chss. r.
Tooker TO Miss Susan woarz Oicourss
be Tooker for better or wosrz
go out, young man; she's not here 4"
~ a preacher last Sunday. in the mid,
OF his sermon. TO a youth whom he sa-
standing hesitatingly in the doorway.
When Young Jenkinson told his father
that he'd only been out on q little lark
the old gentleman mut,er.d that h.
messed there was more swallowed thar
lark.
An old maid suggests that when men
break their hearts, it is all the same g.
when lobster breaks one OF it's claws
another sprouts Immediately and grow,
in its place
An undertaken in Berrien county
Michigan. has taken legal alvice to b.
certain If he could not disinter body to
recover the upsid for coffin. The lawyer
is still thinking about it.
A spir.ter lady OF fiftv remarked tn.
other dsv that she could go alone at slS
months Yes" said her hateful young
hali-brother, ''snd you have been going
il alone ever since, and never eucbered
anybody"
Does your sister Annie ever say any,
thing about me. sissy ?" asked an anI,
ious lover of q little grrl. Yes
WAS the reply; she said il you ha':
rockers on YOUR shoes they'd make mic,
cradle for my doll"
Jane. what was Bills arr, doire
,round your waist when YOU were at III,
gate last uightT asked a precociou.
boy of his sister His arm wasn't
around my usistl won a bet from
him. snd he was taking my measure"
she replied.
A Frenchman having heard the phrase.
1--WE got other fish to fry" very readily
learned its application. One evening.
after escortinr q Young lady home, aid
being invited to walk in. thought of the
above expression. and excused himself by
saying. II must go cook some fish,"
Said a politician to his son: Look at
mel ! began as an alderman, and here
am at the top of the tree, ard what il
my rewsrd7 Why. when de my son
will be the greatest Racial in the city
To this the young hopeful replied. Eyes.
dad, when you die; but not till then"
A glutton Ct fellow Nas dining at
hotel and in the course of the battle
of kni,e. and forks" cut his mouth,
which beng observed by a Yankee cit
ting near by. he bswled out. Il cav. nv
friend, don't make that ar hole in your
any larger. or We shall all
starve to drathr'
She stepped on. Of the car. a few
minutes. leaving . book in q seat. but on
returning went to the wrong seat an ! in
quirsd OF a placid old lady, Are you
sutiug on That Husband of Mine 2 "
Good gracious MOI exclaimed the
Old lady, jumping up aud scanning the
seat with rigid scrutiny.
A farmer Of Tucker county. Va, Who
has been snnOyed by cattle trespassing
upon his grain fields, mas posted the fol-
lowing: "No,is-lf any mans or wo-
mans cows or oxen gifts in these here
otes bis or her tale will be cut of as the
case NAV be am Christian and paw
mi taxes, but darn man that lets his
critters run luse. say l."
The most Discerning people will some
times make mistakes A young lady in
this city was presented with beautiful
cat a few week ago. which she rapturous-
ly named Romeo: so handsome, 80 ten
der and SO loving did it appear. A day
or so since Romeo gave birth to some
pity. itsy, bitsy kitlies, and now It's