The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1878-11-02
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

Religion we want-Cdr. Gdactte Glad you nave
round il out. We knew long ago by your way ol
telling things that your supreme want was the
real Moody article.
Ittakes two properly to enjoy good lnaio Oh f.
oyster: l. You .. The oysters
The foundation for the meanest man Is I"I"
when n small boys turns the worm hole I'D "a" ~.
ple for his companion TO bic lro"' "5.''
Record.
oWhat does Good Friday mean" asked one
scboolboo of another. "You had better 20 nom
and read your Robinson CruSoe,' y was the "'il-
ering reply
Tom Hood in describing the meeting OF ma"
and lion, said: "Thc man ran of with all HIS
MIGHT. and the lion with all his name
There isn't, says misogynst, much difference
between grass.widow and grasshopper' "i'''
all Either will jump at the first chance
Tho busk on the corn.car Is unusually thl'h
This year and the weathcrwsc muskrat j. punt.'
tiny double windows on his habltatlon' inla'" =
HE signs these Of n cold winter.-N l. ""'"'.
The husk on corn is singularly thin TINS gear
and the muskrats are building low ln.aaLtds
signs of aniM winter-perhaps'
yrapbeA TO the American papers all The way
from Interior India and the " Y. A"W had II
beautiful poem on the occasion; yet some are so
ignorant AS to ask who he was. The keokuk
Constellation enlightcAs them;
Ne have been looking up the AhkOond Of
Swat and find that he was the cousin OF the Va
vab of Joonaghur, uncle of the Rajah of koIa-
pore and dstantly related TO the BLOW Sahib
Sungl His wifc's brother was the Rao Rngpoot
and his brothern-law was the NaWab oil Pahlun-
poor The Ahkoond of Swat's unclc's cousins
brother was the Dewan Of Gwallor, and the Be
gum OF Bhopal was a distant relative OF his moth
er-in-law.
The Chicago Eycning Jou,1,al remarks: "'rhou
canst not say did it, says this modern Lady
Macbeth This is the same paper which once
contained an appreciativc notice of that most
romantic of Shakespeare's immortal plays
Richelieu."
If you see sad.cyed man Rushing along the
street, respect his grief and don't stop him;
Meng don eng, King Of Burmah, is dead
PHilddelphid Chronicle HcJuM
''Do YOU want checks with roses" asks "a
medical advertisement No, we don't-no
"cheek" with our roses, if you please. We get
"cheek' with too many things nowadays.-No,-|
riSt0,nn H0dH.
Epitaph for the fiat money party after the cleo
ton:
Go dig il n grave with paper pick
Go yet it paper slab:
Go bury the infant down by the creek
Where the babbling waters bah.
Go cover the grave all over nice
With fiat paper sod,
Then stampon the slab the bold device
'licrc's where we shot our wad.'
Dogencsc was good temperance man. When
blamed for throwing II goblet of wine on the
ground and wasting much liquor, he answer.
ed: "IIad drank it there would have been al
double waste. J. as well as the wine, would have
been lost"
An exchange tells of an old lady who petted a !
strange cat which repaid her kindness by bite
in the wrist with the strange result that now
when she takes anything in her hand the mus
Giles contract 80 that she is unable to lay it down
May not that explain why there so many de-
fauting cashiers?
GLOW do things look" asked a client Of his
attorney in court the other day. "Prctty black,
replied the advocate. 800 you think Pll bs
sentcncedY ~ do" "To what" "SiX
months enforced honesty" Prisoner in despair.
Some people do not understand how ncwspa.
soon after the murder takes place. Although it
is a secret of the business, we must be generous
to our readers and say that all the cuts Of patent
medicine propretors that come into newspaper
office are savcd.-7u7Ur's FailS ReportT.
Among the later pranks the 'type-dcnd' we
notice these: A poster was issued calling II
meeting of the national grecnbackers and was
intended to include the sentence, Bring your
ladies" II was printed, Bring your ladlcs'-to
dish up the money perhaps. The local editor
wrote that certain nice young man would ere
turn by rail" 1t was printed twill return byI
naii' No wonder editors sometimes go crazy.
a woMAN's PROTEST
Asa woman standing all alone
humbly hope to shine; ID
Pm tired Of the twaddlc ,
Of the oak and the iyy.ytnc.
I've seen many instances Is
Where, Natures Law declining, /.
The rim, did the "suppOrtmg,'
While the oak did all the "twning.' '
Before I'd marry q man and work {
For his bread and my own; In
Before I'd marry man who'd place /;
Himself upon the throne,
And claim from ne his better half
Allegiance blind and mute,
I'd marry the nearest ape and wait
FOrhim 10 c0iuf,. e
To Amelia. Your poem commencing with {
"Thc snow, the snow, the beautiful snow is |
declined. Though well written and scasunablc, I
we have a suspicion that it is not original. Il
The city Of Morris was stirred to the mnermost, t
core Of il great sympathetic heart one day last ,
week by the strange sudden disappearance of ,
one Of its oldest and most honored citizens. The
bells were rung and hundred citizen. turned
out to rake the canal and river and otherwise
prosecute the search Tor him. At last some one
found him-on a jury.
There is u decided lack OF reverence in the
Newman ielpead7,fs remark that Sankcy is go
ing to Europe to act as 'end man" for Dutch I
reyiyali,t preacher. /
is Satan married. ask, an exchange. No.
lac is a -tngy, immoral old bachelor, and write.