The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1878-02-21
IN THE SANDWICH ISLANDS.
Minister COmley on the VexatiOns Of Diplomat
Intercourse.

Minister COmley on the VexatiOna Of Diplomatic
Intercourse.
Minister Comfy, the United States re-
preventative at the Sandwich Islands,
writes as follows to his newspaper, the
Columbus (0.) State Journal, concerning
the iritations of diplomatic intercourse
"Do you know what 1t is to the Min
ister to have a man-of.war visit his postr
First the Admiral sends his stah oihcer
to report the arrival, Phen they take a
drink. Then the Minister runs up his
FLAG. and sends dispatch to the Minister
of Foreign Affairs notifying his Maiesty's
government that the Admiral has ar
rived, and desires to salute the nag,
Then his ExcellenCy replies, and sets the
time when the Admiral may shoot, and
his Maiesty's big guns will be all loaded
ready to reply, gun for gun. Then the
bombardment takes place. Then the
Admiral calls on the Minister, with his
staff and all their good clothes. Then
thew all drink. Then the Minister goes
aboard the man-of-war in his good clothes
and the Admiral's yawl. Then they all
drink. When he leaves the vessel, after
being presented arms to, and all kinds OF
bother, he gets only about thirty yards
aWay when his ears are torn and his
head bursted by the big guns OF the YES
sci firing ifteen'gun salute, Inc mar
iners have their oars peaked and their
ewes fixed on the Minister, and he is ex-
pected to take off his hat and give hor-
ribly ghastly smile, as if he had really
enjoyed the honor of having his head
bursted in this way. Then the Admiral
comes ashore with his staff, and the
Minister takes him to call upon his Maj
esty's government. We go first to the
Minister of Foreign Affairs, who tells US
when we may have an audience at the
palace to present the Admiral and the
other officers to his Majesty. Then we
visit the other Ministers, the Governor
of Oahu, the Justices of the Supreme
Court and the Marshal of the Kingdom
then we take drink. Then the Admi.
raj invites the Minister to lunch, and
they take a drink.
"'Next day or so, the Minister takes
the whole party to the palace, and they
are presented in due form to his Maj
esty. The Admiral reads little speech,
in which he tells his Majesty how glad
we are to see him, and his Majesty reads
a little speech in which he replies how
glad he is to see MS. Then we talk awhile
with all the grandees, and after backing
out of the presence sign our names in 3.
little book, and the Admiral hurries Oh
board the vessel to get his Kidneys re-
lieved from the pressure of his sword
belt as soon as possible, Meanwhile all
the other ExCellenCies, representing ev'
cry other country under heaven, have
been sending notes to the Minister beg
ging him to name the happy day when
it will please the Admiral to send boat
for them TO come aboard, and have sa-
lutte fred for them. Then the Fsench'
man always gets mad becanes he does
not get as many guns as he thinks he
ought to have had, and the Minister has
three months correspondence on his
hands before that is settled. You think
it is all over now2 The trouble is only
about to begin. There are dinners, lunch
parties, dances, serenades, visits to be
paid, and the devil to pay if the foreign
representatives do not receive their re
turn calls before the week is out.
"Why, it is a positive fact, we have
been living since last September within
five miles of the greatest sight to be seen
in the world almost-the Pail or 'Pari,'
a precipice thirteen hundred feet high,
over which the old Kamehameha drove
the army that opposed him-and to day
is the first day that l have found it pos
sible to go up and see it. That ran
away. literally, on the day before the
mail closes, in order to see it now, will l
trust be fact of some significance. l
have no time to write about it, however,
though l am stuffed full of its beauty
and grandeur. 1t will have to wait"