Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-08-21
HlIlnOrOuS.

Humorous.
The average New York communis
smokes six loaves of bread daily -Cfnci7,
7adb Commercial
They sell milk at Glens Falls for two
cents a quart. The water-power i,
that village is not used for manufactur
ing purposes.
Correspondent "B. F. b." who sen
us a contribution entitled, "My Tyre
flushed" is informed that we are glat
Of it.
Let us hear from the man who hoe
ten acres Of corn per day.-Detrou Ere
Press
We usually draw hose over ten acre
of corns per day.-Grophic.
FTGenteel joke The New Orleans rFic1
yup,e informs us that there are naor'
ladies than gentlemen in Salt Lake
City. VI w 5f.t
To get figs from thistles: Reduce one
ton of thistles to seventy pounds of pot
ASH. Then sell your potash for cash
Then take the cash and bny figs
| C61,7ier-JoaumM I'LL r., rfoEt
'HThe cat in gloves" said Franklin
catches no MICE" Indeed nO;nOt she
When the cat isable to wear gloves she
can afford to buy her mice, ready
dressed and cooked. Bully for the cat
in gloves. -Burdette. a b rs
"HoW old are you ." asked conduc
tor of q little girl who was trying to ride
on halffare. II am nine at home, but
in the cars am only six and a half. "
A lecturer, addressing a mechanics
institutute, contended that cart could
not improve nature" when one of the
audience set the whole audience in q
roar by exclaiming: GLOW would you
look without your wig?"
Little Oracle was dressed one day in
the whitest Of dresses when, being left
alone she began to investigate q coal.
bod, getting inside, and as black as pos
sible. When her mother came back,
she, seeing her look of amazement,
dropped on her knees, put her little
chubby black hands before her face and
said, 80, Lord, give us patience"-and
he did. Atleast Oracle got off easily
that tIme.-EIchaage.
Z
"a young man at Rye Beach, while
smoking cigar a few days since, had
great difficulty in making it burn
Afterhe had been trying some time he
tore it to pieces. Inside the wrapper he
found a two-cahber pistol cartridge
The bullet, was pointed toward the
mouth end of the cigar. Had he been
successful, in making the cigar burn
but a few moments longer an explosion
would have occurred, as the cartridge
was already heated OpeHka Ah.) o.
server. u E0E 81 3 80 .DES..3J <}#Sgs
The New York Times tells of hen
whose eggs were deposited in an mac
cessible woodpile, and were successfully
Matched, though the hen was obliged
to "set" on stick Of wood several feet
above them. The authority for the
story is excellent; but we should not
have believed it if the remarkable event
had not been located in the glorious
climate of California:-Bufalo Erpress.
Why cast a doubt on the story? That
hen just went through the stick Of wood
with her little hatchit.-Philddelphia
Bulletin. nv. ......
A Dhilanthropic citizen of Memphis
mas just welded Miss Hoss. He doubt
less took her for wheel or whoa.-S Louis
Journal And took her on a bride
tour, of course. He is. said to have
fallen in love with Miss Hoss by seeing
her carte de uisite-that is, he saw the
carte before the Hoss.-Norristoavn BuL
letno. If you fellows don't rein in your
poetical steeds the owner Of that Hoss
may ride along and start a graveyard
som ewhere with his little hoss-plstol-
Neao York Commercial Aduocate. He
will find himself saddled with a respon-
sibility soon enough, before he's driven
2:4O by himself in that manner.
Yesterday, when the black clouds
gathered in the north, and betokened
the coming Of a thunder storm, citi.
zen who was coming down on a Jeffer-
son avenue car, remarked to an elderly
man beside him: ga storm is portend,
ing" "Hey?' inquired the other. II
say there are tokens of a Storm con
tinued the first Hey" was the brisk
inquiry again. appearances indicate
a stor1m!" exclaimed the citizen trihe
embarrassed. "Hey! What did you say
about indelicate?0 queried the other.
''There's going to be a thunder storm, .
shouted the citizen, dropping his big
words all of a sudden. "Ah! Now |
understand" said the old man; going
to be a thunder storm. Well, what do
you want me to do about it ?'-Detroi'
Free Press. IN .--
CASHMERE goats recently imported
into Manitoba as an experiment have