West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-03-30

tionsl Beautiful experiment. Mi.,
Steile, know you will be charmed with
II. We will go right in now" and set
ting down his tea untasted, the devote,
OF science rushed of, followed by the
three ladies'
The laboratory was like all othe den,
OF that sOrt--rather littered-up place
and the ladies drew their skirts CLOSELY
around them a. they picked their way
amid the Jugs, bottles, Jars and crucible,
that strewed the floor.
Good heavensp cried Mrs. Hicks
there's a dreadful spot on my new
merinol What shall | dof"
"Oh, never mindl" responded tho
unfeeling chemist; "it's only little
nitric acid. Won't hurt you bitl We
breathe nitrogen every time we boil
cabbage. You can put patch on IL 50
that IT won't show speck Anadmirer
of science has TO make some sacrifices "
Oh, mercy" cried Miss Stelle
what a-terrible odorw
Some of my gases, my dear madam
now, then, you will see the beauty of
my experiment. See if it don't make
your head whirw
He turned screw in some complica-
ted machine, and the whole place was
hlled with a bluish-green vapor, and a
report followed that seemed to split the
solid globe.
"Merciful graciousp' shrieked Miss
Stelle, clapping her hands TO her ears
" he must be the Evil One himselfr'
and, forgetting her admiration of
science, she turned to flee.
In her fight she knocked down n
huge glass jar, and overturned several
bottles and stewpans.
"Jupiterw cried Mr.. Downe, running
forward she has upset my pet rattle
snake I'd rather have given a hundred
poundsp
Rattlesnake ~ screamed Mrs. Kinks,
jumping frantically about amid the
ruins of the bottles and "things -
rattlesDakc! oh, goodness gracious |!
Save me, Mr.. Downel" and she flew at
the astonished man, and seizing him
round the neck, nearly choked the life
out of him.
Creationp' cried the chemist, ''who
ever saw the like of it? What ails the
woman? Take her away, Mrs. Pike. oh
that's n dear, good lady! IL amt
used to it, and feel little faint! And
it's almost time for Mr.. Kinks TO come.
He'd think / was IA bad character
Do take her awayp'
But Mrs. Kinks had swooned, and
when Mrs. Pike attempted TO remove
her she fell down in n heap.
Good heavens" calculated Downe
have killed her / shall be hung %
and he seized bottle which he thought
contained camphor, but which contained,
instead, nitrate of silver, and poured
the contents in her face.
She recovered, but she was as black as
negro for the next two weeks, and
poor Mr.. Downe paid her a hundred
dollars damages.
One afternoon the sewing society met
at Mrs. Pixies. The parlor was exactly
over the room where Mr.. Downe made
his experiments, and it was we'll filed
with the piOus portion Of the neighbor-
hood on the afternoon in question.
All the good folks we're there. The
minister and his wife, and Miss Abra
Cole, Miss Stelle, Mrs. Kinks, and n
score of others with whom we have
nothing TO do. The pastor, as usual.
was conversing on serious topics TO his
audience
My friends" said he, 81 have often
thought that, if the last trump should
sound at any moment, it would not find
me unprepared for the summons. /
think | should be just as calm as am
this instant---well satisfied that with me
there was nothing to fear"
His hearers drew q long breath of
admiration, and the parson was straight
ening himself for another effort, when a
l.. IL
floor beneath his feet was shivered to
splinters, the glass windows went up
like rocks, and sulphurous smoke
poured up through every nook and
Granny of the shattered floor.
" Good heaven" screamed the parson.
" it's comeW and leaping from the win
dow he scudded for the barn, while the
rest extemporized hiding places. A
fearful silence intervened.
At last the parson, whose involuntary
hydropathy had perhaps kept him cooler
than the others, finding no second blast
of the archangePs trump, peered from
his OdorOus covert
The world looked much as usual. with
the exception of the wrecked condition
of the house and the figure of man.
just discernible through the smoky air,
lying face downwards in the middle Of
the cabbage bed, and apparently about
as extensively attired as the late King
Tacamahac, Of the Cosey Island. But
the parson went up to the cabbage bed.
and by a kick or two caused the recum-
bent one TO get up, and, revealing the
blackened features Of Mr.. Downe, rushed
Oft for shelter ~ quickly as the ladies.
IL rs needless TO say that Mr.. Downe did
not re-edify his laboratory; indeed at
the present time Mrs. DOwne, nee Mis-.
Stelle, would take extreme care not to