The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1878-01-12
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

Boston IoI says IL IL solI vi d o
Galesburg young lady started the parlor hrc
with bottle of bcnzinc, and
She was pretty, young and far
Gone to climb the golden STAR
tramn irving to board freight train at Co
Iona thc other nigh. fell and thirteen cars passed
over him. scyering both legs and his head from
his body. A telegram of the accident to Chca
70 paper rather superiuously adds that the MAJ
died.
whats honor?' asks Falstai!. That's easy
ANY woman who sits behind another woman il
, church can tell what's on her in two minutes.
tisa well.known trusm that people Learn
wisdom by experience. "A man." says Jones
''nevcr wakes up his second baby to see itlaugh,'
Day before Yesterday wealthy man in New
York died so suddenly that the body was alm0s
cold before the distracted and griefstrickcn rcIa
tiyes found the will.-B,rlington Ho'okeye
A Chattanooga, Tenn, paper tells OF mar
who 'shot himself according to the verdict OF Inc
Jury" Another law-abiding citizen gone.
The Georgia Supreme Court has decided that q
murderer 'to be too drunk to form the intent tc
kill, must be too drunk to form the intent to
shoot"
'Ycllow citizens" is how the Intelligent Com
positor of the Clarcmont O.. H. -id'ocot' made
Governor Prescott begin speech
The nuptals of the Widow Cantcr to Thomas
Rush were thus clroniced
When Cupid did this maiden banter,
At Hymcn's course to take brush,
At first she started at Canter,
But now she goes it with Rush.
At Medina (O.) the other night an honest farm
er was reused from his warm bed by stranger,
who wished assistance to capture thee fat hogs
that had broken from his wagon. The honest
farmer rendered it, and did not know till morn
ing that the hogs were his own.
Many of the colleges are discussing the qucs-
ton Of using caps aud gowns, and one reckless
rascal ventures TO nsinuatc that both are worn
ut Vassar-at night-Fuck.
Tennessee looks over into Virginia; hears the
brisk ring of the Motfett bell-punch, as it pays
off the public debt, drink by drink; likes the
sound, and will doubtless adopt the system for
its own use
Every married woman is personally acquainted
with man who will sit right alongside of stove
and let the fire 20 out.
wealthy merchant died; his body was disscct-
ed;
No symptom Of disease was anywhere detected,
Until they reached the heart-which TO find they
were unable,
But in its place they found--a compound interest
table
Joseph Cook says that "the innermost laughter
of the soul at itself it rarely hears more than
three times without hearing It forever" That is
10 say, the subcutaneous cachinaton of the ego
at the cgoic dilemma conforms to the old rule
three limos and out -- Vns.'oef~- p-.~es.
''Will you always trust Inc, dearest" he asked
looking down into her great blue eyes with un
speakable affection She was n salcsw0man in a
10 cent store, and she told him business was bust.
ness, and he would have to pay cash every time.
declare in the name of the Almighty God that
no man has Il right to be worth 500, 900, 900
Tdimdge. We declare, with a full realization OF
the awful cnormity Of the oiicnse Of trying to
come ii on Brother Talmagc, that we are not
guilty HorccrtrlP Press.
W. +. Chandler and Roscoe Conklng arc
about 10 star the country and give sparring cx.
hibitions.
Hayes Is troubled with sca-sckncss on the pc
litical pillows. He Is sick Of the raging Cs-
Conkling, Cameron, and Chandcr.-Detr Ere,
Press.
They were sitting on bank of blue violcts,
With the wind blowing soft from the south,
When he sighed: my dear love, shall die! @
lctsn-
And she gave him smack in the mouth.
Graphic
The sultan is having Il 81, 200 900 staircase con.
structed in opposition To the Russian stcppes. -
Ven York Sidr. Not exactly. He keeps a rope
ladder in his trunk to escape Russian stares.--
Cincinnati Commercial.
As IL a prosecuted public hadn't had enough
Of Painc's last hours, some idiot in the Cincinna-
ii CARTE is telling how Votairc enjoyed drtiruio
HortS.-IidieS.
Where did you learn your Latin grammar?
4 man at Rockland, Maine, recently dug out OF
ono hole iifty-flyc snakes and six full. grown
akunks, which happy family were alternating
together. And an anti-lIaycs Blaine organ there
away has the mcanncss to say that the said hap.
by family is strkngly typical of lIayes's cabinet
The granger In the Kentucky legislature means
TO tolerate the lawyer therein. This we gather
from mastery speech Of rural member 81
an a farmer" said he, land am proud of it, But
have nothing against lawyers, the class that my
honorable Friend represents am like an old
Methodist preacher who, when he went around
10 buc HcihDcTs vi MS congregation, came ncrOss
an old lady in spectacles DO YOU love the
Lord? he asked. Well, parson,' she says, Il
amt got nothin' agin him."
4 Coyington, Ky, correspondent tells this:
"A country merchant visited the city few
days ago, and going TO Cincinnati purchased
from a dollar store Il table-castcr which he took
home with him, and after putting tag on il
marked 'slf maze ii present 10 Il Methodist
preacher, whose church his family attended. The
reverend gentleman took the package home
opened IL, and examined the contents. The mex
DAY he brought the caster with tag attached
BACK 10 the grOceryman, and said Ia him: i an
100 poor IN this worlds goods 10 afford 10 dispa,
20 valuable caster on my table, and II you hay
no objections should like to return il and taxi
Sl4 worth Of groceries for my family in its stead
The merchant could do nothing but acquicscc
but fancy his feelings"
THE NocKISG-BIRD AND THr DONKEY.
\ knocking bird in village
Had somehow gained the skill
To Initiate the voices
Of animals at WILL