The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1878-11-28
Cap and Bells.

On gar1en wall we hear the waul
OF knighty cat by night;
To him the hymn he huns to hear
And darkness is delight,
Bat ah, that he'd will not be heard
When our big guns begun
To blaze its blows and throws its throes-
Those yellers will be dun.
There ought to be lightning rod invented
that would ward off q donation party. Mil
waukee Sun.
First bather: "What are all these things 1
feel at the bottom?" Second bather: "Torpe.
does, mister. boston Courier
ssWhere will you put me when come to see
you at your castle in the air?" ASKED gentle
man of a witty girl "In brown study" she
replied.
Every man is miserable sinner in chufcb,
but out of church it is unsafe to say much about
il except to small man.-Stillwater Lander
man.
The Western papers have thrilling tale of
ga Boys Ride with Panther We haven't
read it yet, but presume the boy was an inside
passenger most of the tide.
When Admiral Dot calls his wife she comes
Quigley, and Dots what's the matter with her.
Leoston Post-l When Nat Goodw win calls his
wife Eliza, he roars, 'Hic jacetr-St. Aibans
Advertiser.
"Eugenia. Eugenia, will you still insist on
wearing the hair of another woman upon your
head?" "Alphonse, Alphonse, do you still
insist upon wearing the skin of another calf
upon your feet?"
Adem and Eve only began to live appley
when they got into their trouble. .-Hawkeye.
They lived cherrily as pair long before the
apple was mentioned.-C mercial Bulletin.
But they finally got snaked and shook out
pair of dice.-Boston Post. And served 'em
right. for they were haughty pair and
peached on each other.-S6merset Reporter.
How to rise early: Resolve you will, take
long breath, kick off the clothes, and make a
bound for the middle of the room, cold or no
cold. Another: The man who resolves on the
subject is lost. The only way is to gait think.
ing and kick off the cover. And finally: All
wrong. The best way is to be so rich that you
can afford to remain right there until the
weather warns up.
THE BOSTON GIRL RETORTs,
Scene, street In Boston. Euter a gentleman
and ytung lady, meeting:-
"Oh! where are you going, my pretty mad?"
I'm going to the Lecture, SIR she said,
ssMay go with you, my pretty maid?"
"The subject won't interest you," she said.
ooh! what is that subject, my pretty maid?"
zine maj extinction OF man." she said.
Chicago Tribune.
"Why," said she. as they stood watching the
prisoners eat dinner oa Black wells island
"why," sac asked, as she violently famed her.
self and pulled her seal-skin sack more closely
around her, "why are those soldiers standing
around the tables like Paradse?" She raised
her parasol triumphantly and moved toward
the stove. One by one they took guess at it
and gave it up. Because" said she-''giye it
up?--every enc of you2-because they're a
gnardin a-feedin'." And they wept with NOR
titcaton, and said such y pun was too abomi-
nable.-Graphic.
Holocaust is a solid old word and wa
woulon't say anything against 1t for the world
but it does seem that it stares fellow in the
face all the time nowadays. Webster aud
Worcester and the others of them tell us plain
ly that the word comes from the Greek olos
(whole) and kaustus (burnt), meaning "all
burnt up" or something like that. Now,
whenever any drowning accident, railroad dis
aster, homicide case or big storm is heard
OF at the New York Herald office that "holo-
caust" is stuffed into the head line, with the
blacklist of black letters to make it stand out.
The other day, when six or seven hundred per-
sons were drowned in the Thames, ont came
the Herald's holocaust. Hsre is a Minnesota
paper describing the yellow fever business as
holocaust" and here Texas paper speaking
OF an Indian raid as ''the holocaust of the
plains" They will get 30 after . while that
they must throw around holocaust eyery
time COW has calf.-Philadelphia Times.