Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1878-10-25
F. II II :!

Fu ny!
No Docs ALLOWED IN THE CARS
It happened the other day on the Lehigh
Valley Railroad. The tram had just left
Easton, and the conductor was just going
his first round. when he observed small
white dog with bushy tail and black
eyes sitting costly on the seat beside .
young lady, 80 handsome that it made his
heart roll over like q one-sided pumpkin.
But duty was duty. and be remarked in
his most deprecat0ry manner:
I'm very sorry, madam, but it's against
the rules to have dogs in the passenger
cars"
aOh! my, is that so!'' and she turned
up her lovely brown eyes at him beseech-
ingly. 'sWhat in the world will I do2 l
can't throw him away. He is a present
from my aunt" plelss .aas4 e'..
"By no means, miss. Wen just put
him in the baggage-car, and he'll be just
as happy as a robin in spring." 81
What put my nice little white dog In
= nasty, stuffy, dusty baggage carr"
'sI'm awfully sorry, miss, do assure
you, but the rules Of this company are as
inflexible as the laws of the Modes and
them other fellows, you know. He shall
have my overcoat to lie on, and the brake
man shall gi 7e him grub and water every
time he opens his mouth
81 just think it's awful mean, so [ do;
and know somebody will steal it, SO they
will;'' and she showed \ half notion to cry.
which nearly broke the conductors heart;
but he was firm, and sang out to braks-
man, who was playing solo on the stow p:
"Here, Andy, take this dog over into the
baggage car and tell 'em to take just the
best kind of care of him. THo
The young lady pouted, but the brake
man reached over and picked tho canine
up as tenderly as though it was a two
weeks old baby. but as he did SO strange
expression came over his face, like wave
of cramp collie, and he said hastily to the
conductor:
Here, you take him minute till put
this poker away and he crotted out at
car door, ana held on to the. brake wheel,
shaking like man with ague.
The conductor TO sooner had his hand
on the dog than he looked around for a
hole to fall through.
t.Wh- wh-why, this is 2 worsted dog"
eyes, SIR said the little miss. de-
5 murely. "Didn't you know that?"
mo, I'm most awful sorry tosay didn't
know that and he laid the worsted dog
down on tho owners lap, and walked out
on the platform, where he stood half an
hour in the cold, trying to think Of q hymn
tune to suit the worst sold man on the
road. n 15. 3r ,t9
A Kentucky audience was dreadfully
shocked last Sunday night. just as local
temperance leader was about to begin his
address, he leaned too closely Over the
candle and his breath caught fire. He at
forwards explained, however, that he had
been using camphor for the to0thache.
The amendment was accepted and the
talk went on.
20 '-i".'+
According to the Bohemian popular su-
perstition, it is unlucky for lover to visit
his sweetheart except on Thursdays and
Sundays. The saving in candles is simply
incalculable, and the young women Of the
country being thus enabled to get five
nights sleep every week, preserve their
singular beauty for many years.
It is our aim toavoid needless laceration
of the feelings of "society people," but we
trust they will just brace up and bear with
something like composure the announce
ment which we find in a London journal
that the Princess of Wales is quite lame
from an inflamed corn on the great toe Of
her left foot. t0
4'You want to brake on this road do
you? Well, you can sit down there. We
have no vacancy just at present: but we
kill about two braksmen q day, and dare
say in few minutes I shall hear of some
one losing an arm or a leg and then you
can have the job" The man thought he
would not wait. a aid -'tN4
A little girl who was somewhat out Of
sorts, but whose exact ailment no one had
been able to discover amended her evening
PRAYER of s'God bless papa and mamma. {"
by adding. land cure me if there's any
thing the matter with me-"
A clergyman created CONSERVATION at a
funeral by praying earnestly in behalf of
the bereaved husband, and the one to come
who shall ill The place made vacant by the
death Of our deceased sister.
{ A nobleman said to his gnest: s'This
timely rain will bring everything above
ground >"Heaven forhid.'' replied the
other, ''for I have got three wives under
r. A Sunday school class in Wilmington
was asked who was the author Of the
Psalms. Silence, at first: then little
hand was held up. 81 know" "Whop''
s4San.'' (
The boy at Sunday school, when asked
who made the beautiful surrounding hills.
replied that he Gid not know, as his parents
had only moved into town the day before
Iowa has twelve tfleusand schoolma'ms
Young man, grasp the opportunity. Iowa
offers it; and eleven Thousand and nine
hundrad and niDety-nine over.