Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1878-05-29
Every dove has cote, and every dog


Indians are not at all contagious. They
are very difficult TO catch.
1.-The book trade is affected. | surpose
by the general depression. What kind OF
books feel it most?" Pocket books"
Pig Iron" Kelley says he is tired OF
getting pitched into for working hard,
and won't be Il candidate for another term
in Congress.
"ls Satan marriedP" propounds the in
qulsltive Chicago Times. We suppose he
lS-he must be, or else who gets up in
the morning to build the firesp
The cold world little realizes the sense
of desolation that shuts down on II man
who thinks he has been handed too much
change by his grocer, when he lodges IL
round the corner and finds it right to Il
penny.
1t is said that "glass eyes for horses are
now so beautifully made that hey complete
ly defy detection " The imitation must
be wonderful indeed. for we understand
that the horses themselves caunot see
through the inception.
The --latest yarn about fast time is to the
effect that IN II certain railroad II Young
man put his head out of the car window
Kiss his girl goodbye. when the train
went ahead so rapidly that he kissed an
old African female at Ihe next station.
First Law Pill:" Cad Jones, curious
question has arisen lately. There's man
IN Newton, and the laws such that they
can't bury him?' Second Law Pill Gear
nestly Very astounding, to be sure?
How on earth can that be?" First l.. P.
why, he isn't dead yet!
A witty clergyman, accosted by IN oil
acqutntance by the name Of Cobb, re-
piled: Il don't know you sir" "My
name is Cobb" rejoined the man, who
was about half seas over. "Ah, sir"
said the minister, you have so much corn
on you that did MT See The Cob"
The fashion reporter who wrote with
reference to II belle Her feet were en-
cased in shoes that might be taken for
fairy boots tied his wardrobe up in II
handkerchief and left for parts unknown
when it appeared the next morling:" Her
feet were encised in shoes that might be
taken for ferry boats
Horace Greeley was once lecturing in
Indiana when the State banks were in fall
career, and you could not carry bank
bill one hundred miles without a discount
on it. The lecture committee paid Mr..
Greeley in bank bills of that locality. The
philosopher looked at it, and then said,
Gould not you give me, instead of that
stuff, II well-executed counterfeit on some
Eastern bankP'
A boy in a Sunday school proposed n
question to be answered the Sunday fol-
lowing: " How many letters does the BIZ
Bile con,an?' The answer was three
million five hlndred and thirty thousand
Three hundred and thirly-thre0. The su-
perintendent says to James, lis that
rightP' Ma, SIR was tho prompt reply.
- win you please tell us how many there
are, then?" Twenty-six, sir"
Lord Holland gave Macauay an ac-
count of a visit which he paid to the
Court of Denmark and of King Christian
The mailman, who WAS at last deprived
'f all real share in the government on ac-
;ount of his infirmily, Such Tom of
6cdlam | never saw" salu Loru uolllnd.
One day the Ncapolitan embus>ador
,ame to the evee. and made profound
DOW to his Majesty. His majesty bowed
still lower. The Neapoitan bowed down
lis head almost TO the ground, when, be-
lod, the King capped his hands on his
Ixcellencys shoulders, and jumped over
lin like boy playing at leap frog!'
If anybody sees, one of these DAYS, a
man eight feet high and
four hundred and fifty pounds
talking about the streets, he need not be
Such a person is now on his
way from North Carolina to the northern
tates in search of work at his trade as
,lasterer and recently excited much atten-
ion rs he passed through Richmond. His
nme is Charles TumIey, and he has three
'rnthers, each us big rs himself. Like
most giants excepting, perhaps. Goliath,
and other bloody minded
Vretches he is II genial and mild man.
erred person, and prefers to toll ut his
ra'e rather than accept many tlatering
fers from circus men. He is not Obliged
. use "A scaffold to plaster any ordinary
uom.
IRISH ANECDoTE Some years ago
'hen the beautiful painting of Aiam and
we was exhibited, in Ireland. it became
le chief topic of conversation. Finally
poor. ragged, illiterate peasant went 10
20 it. The light was so arranged as to
ELECT on the picture, and to leave the
pectator in darkness.
The peasant rs he entered the room
, see his first parents, was struck with
much asst uishment, that he remained
peechless for some moments. He stood
Ike II statu" and rs though his feet were
with the oaken floor of the
pom. At last with an effort he turned to
IS acquaintance and said:
Barney Il never say another word
yainst Adam in all my life, for if had
zen in the garden would have ate every
)ple in it for the sake Of such Il lovely
'ater rs Eve"
ASHES FOR CATTLE.--The Maine Fur
er says Zone Of our substantial SUBJ
.rbcrs, in recent conversation, gave
IS experience in treating neat stock affrc-
20 bones, &c. His cattle were one spring
fpcted in this way; they became thin in
ssh, refused to eat hay, and presented
ckly appearance. He put about four BUSH
s of letchei ashes in his bLrnvard and
rev out to them about a shovelful each
W. They all ate it with evident relish.
fer turning them out to pasture, he put
,e peck of dry ashes per week on the
'ound in the pasture. They ate it all
, and gnawed off the grass where it had
zen lying. The cattle began to improve,
lining flesh and looking better than
ey had for several years. He now gives
le quart of ashes. mixed with the same
lantity of salt, to twelve head of cattle
'out once a week. and finds it to agree
ith them wonderfully.
A SERMON ON NOTHING. Frederick the
reat being informed of the death of one
his chaplains, q man of considerable
srning and piety. and being resolved
at his successor should not be inferior to
m in these qualifications, took the follow
q means of nscertaining the merits of
10 of the candidates for the appointment.
9 told the applicant that he wonld him
If furnish him with text the following
lnday. when he was to preach at the
yal chapel. from which he was to preach
extempore sermon. The clergyman
oented the nronosition The whim of