The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1878-01-14
NasbY.
silver at the COrners-mr. Nasby, Full ofa
Financial Idea, Attempts, Once More,
the Financial Salvation of the Corners.

Ez a matter Nv course, the Corners is lmpe-
cunious. There never wuz time in the histo-
ry Nv this place that it wuzn't in that state nv
tnanshel helth. The disincliuashen Nv the
people to labor-the porousness NV ther
clay wich requires SO much lkwd film, aud
the loss Nv time rasultin, makes it extremely
difficult for anything like accumulashen to
happen, konsekently borrerin is the principal
industrial pursoot, which wood be well enuff ef
the wuznt any payin. Payiu is wat bites
man, and cripples his energies. Payin swat
Is slowly but surely underminin the Corners and
sSppiu its prosperity. 1 hate payin. 1t robs
dollar nv all its delte to know you hev got to
pay it agin after you hev spent it Wat shood
like wood be to hev dollars wich reproduce
themselves. Eff two dollars Good only marry
and hev large families That wood be suthin
like.
The silver bill wich Bland is pushiu plsases
US here for several reasons. The Corners Is
largely composed Nv the debtor class. We are
all 10 debt That graspin Shylock, Bascom,
hez furnisht US the necessaries nv life these
twenty years, and hez "kept on "chargin it up''
when we didn't pay, with the remorselis accoo-
raey Nv a feend. He never Good get no mort
gage out Nv me to succor hisself fol the reason
that don't happen to hev anything to mort
gage; but he does hold mortgage on Deekn
Pogram's place. and also on every other place
10 the vicinity, for money lent and supplies fur
nisht. Wat happens? Why, Bsscom wants bis
pay. He sneerngly sez that eff we don't want
to pay what do we drink fur2 skin buy lik-
ker 10 Louisville and sell it to you without
pay?' sez he.
Ahi eff he only knows how pleasant il Is to
drink and how unpleasant it is to pay, he
would change his mind about it. But there
are very few large-hearted men in the world.
Bascom wants his money, and Bascom is
Consistently Shylock. He is a oppressor and
grinder Nv the faces Nv the people. We wood
rise up IN our wrath and mob him, but alasi
there amt one Nv us wich hez credit enuff for
bari of likker in louisville and so we hev to
endoor him.
Therefore when we beerd nv this silver biz
ness we wuz rejoist Ell silver is made legIe
tender, and is only wuth 92 cents on the dollar
now, we hev at least, rescood ourselves from
the grasp Nv this mercenary cuss wich wants
bis moneys per cents worth anyhow. And we
are satisfied 1t will 60 lower than that, When
Sharon and Jones and the silver miners nv
Nevsdy hev got things fixed so that they kin
pay wat they owe in ther own silver, they
will hist it out to an extent wich will make
il ez cheap ez Good be wished. Then
We will hev this yoosurer wich holds destruck-
shea over US. Our land-I am speekin NV the
other citizens now wich hev land-will 90 up
ten times IN valyoo Land wich Is now wuth
$40 an acre will spin up to $400-in silyer-and
we will sell an acre or two off our farms. We
will sell enuff to git what we owe Bascom, and
we will load cart with it and take it to that
unmerciful creditor and compel him to take it,
and releese US from his dominashen.
see 1t iu my minds eye that deer, deliteful
old saint, Dekin Pogram, maxim deed for two
acres Nv the hundred and fifty he hez. That
miserable, grindin Bascom lent him $1,000 four
years ago. wich hez bin running on interest ever
sence, and he hez bar bill NV perhaps $500
more, making in all perhaps $500 wch this
Shylock holds agin him. There will be speki-
lator from louisville. down to ths Corners a
buyin land.
"Dekan, wat will yoo ask me an aksr for two
akers off the east side nv yoor place." sez the
srekilator.
"Mirandy," sez the dekin, wat do L owe
that .crooei, hard-hearted shylock nv Bas-
COMP
,."One thousan five hundred dollars" will be
Mirandy's answer.
''Sir sez the dekin, ''you kin hev two acres
for jist $1,000. must git out NV the clutches
Nv that monster wich demands remorselessly
mis- Nv this worldi Thank heaven hev but a
few more yeers nv il. Mirandy, send the jug to
Bascom's, and tell him I'll try TO pay him suth-
in on account next week."
And then the land will be sold (the two ak
ers) leavin the dekin 148, wich is enuff, and
the dekin will load the silver in his cart,
and will take 1t over to Bascom's and dump
it triumphantly down on the floor, and de-
mand his releese. Then will he be free NV
this shark-he will satisfyt his cormnrant--he
will everybody do likewise, but me- and / per-
SOON WILL for silver will be so cheap that
kin probably borfer enuf to pay the graspin
man wat l owe him.
We held meetin last mite and resolved that
it wuz the sentiment Nv the Corners that sill
yer shood be remonetzed and that resumpshen
shood be put off. The Corners will alluz re-
solve 20 put off payin anythin. 1t wuz en-
thuoosisstic meetin, made up entirely nv the
debtor class. l made a stirrin speech wich
would hev he'd an immense effect but for one
trifln drawback. was dilatin on the "Dollar
Nv the Fathers and sed with burst Nv elo-
kence, Look at this piece Nv money! Itwuz
this kind Nv money wich carried the country
thro-'
It wuz an unfcrtunit way nv gittin at things.
For l didn't hev piece Nv silver in my pockit,
and l appealed to the aujence to hunt one up
that mite give pint to the flite, but alasi ther
wuzn't peece Nv silver in the house, not even
dmel But turned this to akkount even.
pride myself on being able to pluck the flower
Safety from ths nettle Danger. Most men
wood hev bin disconnected at this but not me.
"My friends" L sed, "wben we hev this silver
bill past won't be caught in this awkward
fix. Every man in the Corners will hev a cart
load nv it,"
And they give three cheers for the silver bill
aud adjourned.
PETROLEUM V. NAsBY, Finanseer.
p. S.-Thst graspin Bascom hez throwd q
fire brand into the Corners. Ez silver is at
discount NV eight per cent, he hez watered his
whiskey jist that amount. He sez eft we want
to pay him in debased currency we hev got to
take deblsed likker That man will hev to be
killed, yit. P.v.N.