West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-08-10
WAITS AND WHIMS.

a HoMELY card-player is plain
dealer.
PEOPLE are not readily rocked to sleep
by earthquakes.
APrLE.B REFS are sure TO have n coree en-.
49, ionktrs Gazette.
The cigar and the cup are very init
mate acquaintances
THOSE who think awry will not be
likely to act straightly.
Why is ladys bonnet like cupola2
Because il covers the belle,
THE Hotel Mail says il is weiss beer
that knows it own schooner.
PREsCRIPTIoN for pugilistic lover
take one of your own sighs."
THOUSANDS who never were i'm battle
have been destroyed 10y grape.
WHAT kind of ship has two mates
and no captain? A courtship.
VINES the festive fly so airy and spry,
Cuncudcth no longer to hutter,
lie buyEes around, with "a mOuTnful sound
Aud burics himself In the butter.
OILED sawdust acted upon by the
rays of the sun will burst forth into
flame.
CYPRUS is about as large as Connecti-
cut. II anything, Connecticut is nut
meg crater.
INDIANS never kiss each other, and,
having seen few Indians, we can't
blame them.
GOSSIP hugs it's false measure and says,
loftily, that the five grains are of no con
sequence whatever.
COLONEL BLOOD has been summoned
as II witness i'm Brooklyn scandal.
Blood will tell. 49, Boston Post.
IN suit between Cinnamon in the
New Orleans courts, the witnesses were
sworn 10y burning piece of paper.
A TACK points heavenward when it
means the most mischief. II has many
human imitators. - Brcdk|dSt Table.
THE temperance editor of the Ithaca
JOUrndl recommends fresh buttermilk as
nm excellent substitute for lager beer.
"Oh, what is 30 rare ns a day in June"
The poets swoety sing;
But we think that the stun nowadays called cash
is the Tarcst sort oi thing.
The Princess Of Wales, her brother,
the Crown Prince of Denmark, and the
heir to the throne of Belgium are all
deaf.
THE acreage of tobacco planted in
Virginia the present year is smaller than
last year, but there is prospect of bet
ter crops
IT is very good thing TO mean well,
but if you expect TO get on in the world
you must also do well. Good intentions
pay no debts.
The kind of stecple-chase popular in
COhOcs, n. Y, is climbing a church
steeple three hundred feet high, for
purse Of $3.50.
THERE is a particular coloring, which
is in woman, powerful above all beauty,
wit or genius-that subtle something
which we name charm"
The bureau of statistics estimates the
amount OF money annually expended
in the United States for liquors, by con
sumers, TO be about $596, 100000.
The project Of building direct pipe
line from the oil regions of Pennsylvania
| to Buffalo seems TO bc languishing OH ac-
count Of lack Of subscriptions.
LAWRENCE County, o., recently gave
three contracts for iron bridges 20 Penn
/ sylyania bridge builders, while their
own works are compelled TO lie idle.
THE value Of exports from England
/ during the first four months of this year
/ was about 81 ,O0O, 900 more than during
] viz N"ii'' I'iiNihE H'iA'N Va Ahoh gNois
ThE Land Reclamation Company Of
| Louisiana is perfecting arrangements 10
go TO work constructing leyees and
canals and putting up draining ma
| chimes
ONE hundred and twenty thousand
/ dollars n year constitutes the salary Of
/ President MacMahon, and he is like
| wise allowed sixty thousand dollars for
/ perquisites.
WE buy our experiences at a great
I price by the time we are forty, and then
offer 10 give them away TO young friends
of twenty, but can seldom find any body
who wants them.
JUDY tells Of a boy at school who, on
being asked 10 describe a kitten, said,
"a kitten is remarkable for rushing like
mad at nothing whatever, and stopping
before IL gets there
EDIsON married q factory grill, ten
minutes after asking her 70 be his wife.
Then he went down to the factory and
worked all night on q new invention,
forgetting all about being married till
ono Of the boys called his attention to
the fact. He is a. absent minded as the
minister who blew the foam off a glass
Of water in the pulpit before taking q
drink.-PccEs SIM