The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1878-06-06

some SchOOl-bOok rhymes about Christ
mas coming but once a year, a fact
which even his disputatiOus mOther-iD-
law could not reasonably deny.
In the mean time, the dinner hour
drew near. The smell Of the savory
meat already permeated the house, tine
tured with faint odOr of onions, for
goose stufiing without onions would
| have been a pronounced failure. The
mouths Of the elderly couple began 70
water with expectation. They had
Il taken no refreshment since leaving Sa-
lem early in the morning, and it was
already nearly one O'Clock. They had
gotten up a famous appetite, and were
excited still more by the significant IA
vor that ascended to the sitting room.
Presently Willis was summoned by
his wife to the kitchen, and desired to
watch tie goose, which was roasting
before a wood fire in the good, old-fash-
! ioned tin kitchen. 1t was nearly done,
only requiring a ''tUrn or two more, :"
and the wife desired her husband to
take her place for few moments, while
she ran up stairs and arranged her dress
for the table.
"All right, % said the husband.
Better add one more stick Of wood. :"
Very we'll"
IN be dressed and down again in
Just five minutes"
'Well, hurry up, said her husband.
The wife hastened away to add few
trifes to her dress, and make herself
little more presentable before presiding
at table. That goose, she felt, would
prove a success; she had exerted her
best skill upon its preparation, and she
knew that it was her mOther'r fayoTite
dish.
Harkl the clock of the Old South
struck one. twas really later than she
had supposed.
Harkl again. Good grscioUSl What
was that terrible noiseP Why, the door
actually shook Under her feet. What a
crashl 1t sounded as though all the
glass and crockery in the house had
been broken by shock of earthquake.
What could it mean? The old couple
rushed into the entry in alright, and
The wife ran down stairs towards the
kitchen door, being met bya cloud of
smoke and half blinded with ashes.
The old couple followed their daugh-
ter down stairs, and all entered the
kitchen together, trembling with fear
and astOnishment. Thew saw Willis
Just strugglingto to his feet from the floor
at the farthest part Of the room from
the fire, digging at his eyes, which were
full Of gravy and ashes, while they per-
ceived that the two windows were blown
outward into the yard, and that utter
confusion reigned among everything
movable. Chairs and tables we're turn
ed topsy-turny and glass and crOckery
ware could be only detected in PARTICLES
about the size Of q fve-cent piece.
What on earth is the matter2" asked
the wife, seizing hold of her half-dazed
husband aud shaking him.
''I-I-dont know; was it an earth
quaker"
.Earthquakel" repeated the wife, con-
temptuously. mo, you goose. By the
way, where IS the gOOseY"
"I-I-dOn't know. What WAS the
matter?"
That's just what want to know"
said the wife. why, the windows are
all smashed. tool"
In the mean time Willis had possessed
himself of towel and was struggling
herOically to get his eyes open by clear
ing them Of dish-gravy and ashes, while
his clothes presented a most wOe-begone
appearance; his eyelashes, eyebrows
and hair were singed close to his head,
and he looked like a freshIy-escaped lu-
natic. Stopping in Ibis efforts to remove
the debris from his face, every now and
then he looked about him in silent
amazement at the destruction Of every
thing.
In a far corner lay the tin kitchen, SO
out Of shape thatnO one could trace the
most distant resemblance to its original
form, but as to the goose there was not
"a piece Of it big enough to recognize
anywhere. True, big grease spots on
the walls and ceiling showed the effect
of goose, but the substantial article it's
elf had completely vanished. At this
moment the old tOm-cat stole cautious
ly into the room from the yard, with
arched back, enormous tail and eyes
glaring all about. The hair was singed
off one side Of the creature, who had
evidently been blown through one Of
the windows
But how to solve this mystery2
Presently in came the next-doOr neigh
Dor, Mr.. Brett, who wanted to know
what that terrible explosion meant that
had shaken the whole neighborhcod.-
There was a queer expression OIL his
face as he made the inquiry. He came
in by the back door, for the two yards
adjoined and only a low fence separated
them.
look at that TIN kitchen, "stammered
Willis; "it blew up!"
The deuce it did, said Brett.
81 never heard Of tin kitchen OK
plOding, b" said the father-in-law.
"NOr 1, either, " added his wife.
"Nor I, )" said Mrs. Willis. d
"NOr l, " said BIr. Brett. "But, look
ye, Willis, if you steal any more of my
wood this winter, be careful to take the
logs which are not charged with gun
powderI"
The exposed Culprit was always called
by his neighbors Tin-Kitchen Willis af-
ter that serious experience.-AU1. Cul-
ttUdtOr.
The Choice.
A Quaker residing in Paris was
waited on by four of his wOrkmen in
order TO make their compliments. and