The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1878-10-12

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afresh all the pangs Of how it was
made an orphan. Neither will it do
for our young bandbox patriots to go
out to the plains to fight the Indians,
for there might be no fun in that, be-
sides that might do some practical
good; direful as war is, that might
save the lives Of some unprotected
families on the plains. No, that won't
do; we must have q sham battle here
at home, in land of peace, of bibles
and where that holy religion is pro-
claimed and professed "thou shalt not
KILL and if two or three, or more or
less, are killed or crippled and main
ed for life, and if it does draw our
young men, and our old men and wo-
men from their business and from the
loved circles of home and Preside to
spend their money in worse than
idleness; we must know how to kill
and cripple in the most effective and
improved style when the occasion oc-
ours. The time-that blessed time
has not dawned upon the world when
the arts Of war shall be learned no
more in the land. The com
mand, "thou shalt not steaP' is no
more imperative on us than, that
thou shalt not KILL SO let us get up
sham stealing match. Don't mis-
understand us, we don't mean that
we shall actually steal, for that would
be unlawful, not to say unchristian,
but let us learn how to steal, when
the occasion arises, when the tempta-
ton is upon us, else when we attempt
it we may not know how to do it in
the most effective and improved man
ner, but might do it in such bung-
ling way that we might get caught in
it and thus get ourselves into the
clutchel of the law; for mind, that
the command is only that we shall
not do it and not that we shall not
know how to do it and not that we
shall not learn how to do it; so you
see the art may be cultivated.
So we say of that other command,
thou shalt not commit adultery"
All that is forbidden, then, is the
committing Of the act, not the learn
ing how to commit it, so the art
should be learned and practiced, so
that these things may not only be
done when the occasion arises, but
done in the most improved "a la
Beecher) mode, so by all means let
there be sham organization of that
goodly kind got up. But lastly,
false swearing is crime against God
and man, against the Bible and the
laws of the land. But then people do
swear falsely sometime, and it seems
to be thought necessary by some,
that it should be done in order to ac-
complish their purposes; then why
not have sham court and few
great big sham trials in which a great
many witnesses shall be summoned
and sworn and examined by expert
enced, but sham lawyers (called gen
erals, if you please) and in the pres
ence of large concourse of people as
spectators, made up of all ages sexes
and conditions, that they may see
and learn the fine cut of false swea :
ing, so as to be most effective and in
prcssive, and yet so acted out as 10
keep the false witness out of the
law as well as of the penalty of the
command.
Now mind, our suggestions are, rtt
that these abOmlnable things be act
ually done, but only that we all be
learned how to do them in the most
improved manner when it becomes
necessary to do them. If it be said
that tehse several commands are NJ
parallel or of equal obligation in mo :
ais, religion or law, let the difference
be shown. That one is thought to be
more agreeable or less honorable
than the others, cannot in our Judge
ment set at naught the positive COM
mand or atone for the effects of such
practices upon the present or rising
generation. *x*