Litchfield enquirer., 1878-01-31

the principal personag4 ofthe family. My fa-
 ther yielded to mein v rything and my moth-
 CT soon perceived that I was destined to be-
 come most syalnable element of social suc-
 cess. First I had a French boasne, then the best masters that money could procure and when I was sixteen was taken to o4France and Italy for year, to acquire knowledge of art
 and to pick up the habits of polite society in
 Europe. IeWas very quick and industrious;
 and when l compare my proficiency at this
 age, in music, languages, and painting, with
 the accomplishments of English girls, think ! may say, without undue .conceit, that far
 surpassed them. It was with a fiuttering heart
 that viewed my native shores from the deck of a Cunard steamer, as, thus armedand equip
 ped for the social fray, 1 returned tosNew ork. It was no feeling of timidity, but g, ,dar-
 ing and confident longing, that caused this sen
 sitive organ to palpitate SO wildly perhaps al-
 80 there was a'stispicion that before very long
 itsmight be beating for other reasons. j Come
 what might, II was preparedto meet it. 1 knew
 was beautiful. thanks to my mother, whose
 good looks ! had inherited. I was an only
 child, and therefore large heiress, accomplishr
 ed, clever, and self-reliant. Nothing was more
 nconiprehensible to me than the shy silence
 of the bread and butter misses whose acquain-
 tance I made during my short stay in London.
 Even their brothers was often obliged to help
 on in conversation they ynever seemed to know
 what to say, or how to say it; while I never
 knew what it was to be at a loss. ss. y3s3
 My mother was woman exceptionally well
 qualified to launch girl in the society of New
 York she had made 1t a study, and felt I
 was in good hands. Before Iwent to my first
 ball she gave a series. of dinner-parties. To
 these she especially asked all the young mar
 ried men who have it in their power to make
 or mar the debatGf5ts in her first season. It is
 they, not their wives, who are the leaders of
 fashion; and it is to them that tue. would-be
 belle must pay her court if she wishes to sue ceed. Of course the unmarried men are inn portant bnt they take their queue from the
 older hands, who, in spite of having Wives,ar
 still the most indefatgable ball -goers, the rec
 ognized leaders of the ''German," and the es-
 tablished authorities on matters of fashionable
 etiquette. Where society has no regular hier-
 archy, as it has in England, it's leaders are self constituted or tacitly acknowledged. The men,
 as rule, marry so young that they have not
 had time to become blGses i; and the consequence is, that they tiirt as actively with unmarried
 girls, and tiutter about as lippantly, as if they
 were still single. In some cases they keep
 this up until their own daughters come out,
 overwhelming the girls of their choice with
 bouquets, JonbOpnieres, and tritiing presents
 taking them solitary drives, giving them din
 itOAo,- OOACo ot OpCld. dAO
 them by such marks of delicate attention as are always grateful to the female mind. Oc-
 casonally these are pushed tosucha point that
 they give rise to unpleasant gossip, but have
 never known any real harm come of them.
 The girls are always thoroughly well able to
 take care of themselves; and upon the occa-
 sions, which sometimes happen, of man be-
 coming so desperately in love as to forget his
 conjugal duties and propose an elopement, he
 invariably meets with positive and decided
 refusal In this respect they show sagacity
 and sense of propriety which the aristocratic mothers of young families in London, who
 think nothing of running away with the hus-
 bands of their lady friends, would do we'll to
 initiate. Of course an exclusive devotion of this sort has a tendency to injure girl, be- cause it keeps of the young men while it lasts;
 but perhaps on the whole she gains a sort of presttge by 1t, which only renders her more at-
 tractive to them when it is over.
 When the great occasion of my my first ball
 arrived, carriage could hardly hold all the
 boquets that were sent. Unfortunately mann the ball but she did not wish me to be disap- pointed, as I had been taking so much trouble with my dress and looking forward to it so ea- gerly: so arranged with Harry Hardpan, who had stamped me with his approval, and indeed shown he a good deal of attention on the strength of having been fond of me in father ly way when I was little girl, to send bis wife for nie-she was oriy two years older than was; and he met us at the door with several of my friends to help to carry my bou- quets There were thirteen altogether. of which eight had been sent by married men and five by bachelors. Icalcuiated that their united value was upwards of a hundred and twenty dollars, or about e25 All my bou- quets had come with cards on them;' and as I read the lenders names, fek that my success was assured. This inspired mewith still great CT confidence as l entered the ballroom. That night was a triumph was literally besieged; but was determined to act with caution, for fear of making the other girls jealous | felt at once the importance of. establishing myself Ill a feminine coterie-so much can be done by combination. I am convinced that there is no greater mistake for a girl than to be misled by the admiration of the opposite sex, into losing her popularity with her own. Young men are intiniidated and kept in their proper place by strong phalanx of girls, if these hold togetli CT properly. It requiresa youth of uncommon nerve boldly to face haifa-dozen girls all litter ing together in 8 corner, who, he knows, will pick him topieces the momenthe leaves them. We New York girls used to keep our little heels on the neeks of our beaux, and trample over them ruthlessly. In London the case is exactly reversed, and the poor girls are crush ed by the aw-quite- awfufy -aw kind of youth, to degree which makes my blood boil lt.is partly because London girls don't under stand how tocombine and organise, so to speak against the men, and partly because they have to compete against the young married women, that they are treated with such indifference. Now in my day, in New York, the young mar ried women were nowhere, or, in the vernacu- lar of that city, they had no show; ;" but hear that they are making good deal of run hing of late years, and that the girls are begin ming to complain seriously. Another reason why American girls have such a much better time than English girls is, that they have so much liberty, they cBn offer 1norei inducements to the. young men to pay them attention. A young man will submit to be crushed end bull lied and sat upon if you make it all right at the end of the evening by asking him to take you a sleigh-ride next day, or to give yousa dinner at Delmonicos, with only young lady friend of your own age, and her husband, who | adfnires you, to do proper. What fun we girls used to have, and what plans we used to con- coct for robbing our beaux of their affections, of exchanging them when we got tired of them, or of dfawing them on to the proposing point ! In ny first season Inad seven proposals Fl had several far better seasons than this, laterll on; but ,mamma said l could not have expected | SouotC OOAC ulpIC uESL WlutCT, COQElOGrl0p the gifls I had to compete with, some of whom possessed allmy advantages, combined with Tar a'isg gfeater sxPerisnnesea F F, nssgxw .u.4sa
 Here again I am struck with the difference between England and America af don't asup-a pose i1nglish girls get one epfoposal stenthati we get,ie1 know one girl, now twenty -four, who has had 157. This can youch for, as she showed me the list; but some of the men must have beenSery slightly wounded for oncs asked to be introduced to her not long since.s He had been in California for four years. and had Forgotten that when he last saw her he had proposed to her, and she had forgotten that she had refused him. He had, in thesd meantime, made 4 large fortune in, ,Bonanzas, the absence of which was her objection to him at the time and they are now engaged to be married She says she does not see why she should put off getting married any longer, I es- pecially as the young married women are be ginning to have such a good time, - I
 On the whole, however. I used to think thefesWas far more fun to he had at 1Newp0rtd than in New York. 4 That is the place to. con-