West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-02-09
EVERY DAY spIcERIEs.


A YANKEE editor wishes to know
whether the law recently enacted against
the carrying of deadly weapons applies
10 doctors who carry pills in their
pockets.
81 LIVE in Julia's eyes," said an af-
fected dandy in Colman's hearing. "I
don't wonder at it," replied George,
since observed she had sty in them
when saw her last"
"SEE, mammal exclaimed little
one, IA puss, with arching spine and ele-
vated rudder, strutted around the
table; "see, Kitty's eat SO much she
can't shut her tail down"
IT has been discovered that the best
way 10 prevent apples from rotteniDg is
TO put them in n warm, dry cellar, and
let family OF fifteen children have
free access TO them every day,
The authorship of Beautiful Shows
may be in doubt, but that man certainly
did not write IL who has just slipped up
on an ice spot treacherously covered by
the feathery fakes, and dropped into an
ash box.
GRACE GREENwooD was standing in
Washington horse-car, when a sudden
start Of the car threw her over into
gentleman's lap, when she said, "I beg
pardon, sir; but You see / am Lap
lander"
a BosroN teaches, who. In fit OF.
vexati6n called her pupils set OF young
hddefs, or being reproved for her Ian
guage explained by saying that she was
speaking 10 those just commencing
arthmetics sss az 4t4 st fsEJ
+ AZ eaN "IITTLEp
4 pomPou. attorney, while trying a cause,
Wagqut5ziug witness and picking f0r hawss"
The witness who owed him personal grndge,
Provoking HIM until fbeeppeesd % the Judge,
= demand, eiF = ne cried, with tiery red face,
" Alkfle attention while Trying this, case"
"Pmspayine ae:liiaSas any ons cam
!. Il.ss,;S Lss ;Sdss: .SIsS,Bl, slas z sa.S 6,egn
On the " squabble epd said, from the bench whore
"we want nothing but silence, and haas Of that"
ZONE Of the Kentucky Minstrels is
sitting for ffs catts I'M character.) Oper-
ator - Now, sir, look plesssD t--smile
little" (MinistTel siailes.) ooh? that
will never do. rs too vide for the
Instrument" i.FaSN secs 1868
AsCfEHTIsr says that the tenth genera
tion Of agipgle Ay plumbers squintillion
insects But there Is not n bald-headed
man who ever passed warm day in
church that will not say the amount is
far too small,
IT Is a common prOyerb, and, indeed, IL
Is the creed OF the homeopathic, that
like cures like. But there Is one thing
10 which neither homeopathic nor allO-
pathist has pronounced an opinion, and
that IS what curcs.dishkc. ~ ~
RoDRido spaniafd and Tomlinson,
an eminent English athlete, are matched
70 wrestle At Rio Janeiro, the Spapiard
stalking 100000 refs, and The English
man 800 600. II sounds more imposing
70 say 100000 reis, yet the sum is rather
less than 5000.
TaREE gentlemen being IN = coffee
hsuse, one called for dfarn becatfse he
wee hot Bring me mother says his
companion, because / am cold" The
third, who sat By and heard them, very
quietly called out, Here, boy, bring
ne q glass, because Hike ~ s
A PLEAsISe instance Of flial affection
was shown at Asbbufnham, Mass, the
other day where 4 middlc-aged man went
into grocery store and called for some
Of the poorest tobacco, remarking, "
do not use tobacco, but want this for my
mother, who loves 10 smoke ?
ADrBoNDAoK MgRBAg and Joseph
I Cook were fellow students at Yale,
\ where they stood low IN scholarship.
They were long-winded speakers, and
! not At alb methodical In their arrange
ment Of subjects, and Cook, in particu-
I lar, was utterly unable ID demonstrate
the simplest proposition in Euelid.
AN incident which may account for
much Of the slipehOd vocalizatiOn al
popular concerts Music Seller--I am
sorry 20 bay, ma1ame, that J have not
yet the music OF the songs you sing at
my concert ON Thursday Popular
I sinQers oh, that's not Of the slightest
consequence; but can you give me su
idc Of what theoth, lady vocslists are
likely to wegFl