The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1878-05-15
BRIC-A-BRAC In TROUBLE.
What CacOethes Scribendi IneV-
itably brings the Scribe to.
But still, as a Scholar, he is Fas-
cinated with AIf's Grafton at
TuScnIum

TuscuIum.
| To the Editor of the Morristown Gazette:
1 am in a peck of trouble quan.
Diary of quadrilateral combinations /:
a blank bad fix. 'Tis said, the
thoughts of ennui are the prompt
ings of the devil. Mighty good for
ennui. but hard upon the devil, whose
business of late years has increased
wonderfully, so much so, that tis
hard to find him at home. The last
crowd which went to hell found the
door locked, and a notice posted,
"Closed for repairs. Persons wish
ing to raise the devil will Oblige by
calling on H. w. Beecher."
Well, finding time heavy on my
bands, although surrounded by ma
ture in It's most attractive forms, and
unable to go where 1 could get ale
and oysters, and see the cars come
in, I have taken to that resort of idle
minds, writing to the newspapers.
You don't know how lonesome 1 get !;
yes, do, de-oh lord.
Well, / had just finished my arti-
Gle on education" for your paper
and sent off to the Dandridge
Wdtchnea,a a splendid thing on "Hell,
it's Past and Future" when an infer
nal son of a serrel-topped sea-coek
sent me copy of that nice paper,
the Jonesboro Times Now, ali
had said against Alf. Taylor was,
Pettibone was "the brick for me -
when along comes a great big fellow
named Anderson, from Unicoi-ahey !
and said "my daddy ran at Bull
Run" Now, Mr. Helms, didn't every
body run at Bull run; first the Bull,
and them Bull run Russell and then
Rull bun Bussell, and 80 on. You
know johnson and Jackson (parhaps
Anderson were there; in fact every
body, but me. l staid at home to
keep the flies out Of the buttermilk
aud break the gander from roosting
on the back porch.
Now. sir, want your advice the
advice that would proceed from a
Dutch uncle. | never should have
come here. but L thought [ could
have the refusal of the gubernatOriaI
aspiration, and make q soft thing.
I did look for a committee to meet
me at the depot but all l saw, was.
Charlie Nenney, yellow dog, and
an empty box on the sideing. I've
got talent. I know I have; and
1 thought if I'd stay awhile, the Re
publicans would see it. I would
have tried the thing on your fellows,
but 1 knew my life wasn't safe among
you. Well, nobody sees that talent
yet, and / scarcely know how to
show it to them. What would you
do if you were me? Count up the
rs, the preceding adjunct.
wAlf's friends say Pettibone has too
small a head. Now, have "a
noddle; whale Of Uranium; and
its full--well, of all sort of things.
Now would you run, if you acere me7
I know that I'm a Northerp-but 1
could crawfsh out of that.
1 proposed to drop Taylor and
Pettibone, and run Randolph. but
the Taylor men say r. won't do at
all. 'Tis damned hard to find out
what little Alfs boys do want. They
want a Southern man, educated. and
with 8 big head, and who can talk
pretty. Don't you think my talk i
nice?
Up at Tusculum. Alf. said
Through the discord, jarring and
jealousy of the past deeade-aye
through the blaze of fragrant war,
have preserved all of liberty you
enjoy to day. x It is yours
to preserve that eternal vigilance
~ and 10 transmit unimpair
ed to the generations to follow you.
this priceless boon of cur fathers. ;"
= x - .sasgr as6 SSH
Now. sir. please sit down on al
this till can get some dinner.
- Well. old fellow. | wish
you'd been with me, = we had
chicken. and some musky stuff. they
called oyster plant But let's tackle
little Alf's speech. because / want to
learn how to talk pretty.
A decade" meaas ten years,
don't it? but from whence does Alfs
project his decade; and in the name
Of long suffering adjectives and ad.
verbs what is the meaning of s. fla
grant war? Does he mean Che
sodr soas sorong? Hew. is eternal
vigilance" preserved. or how many
cups of sugar to the pound of vigi-
lance? and wont the dam thing
sa.as 81 ss 81