St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1878-06-14
Squibs.

What person mentioned in scripture
would have made good husband for a
tall laundress ?-A-hi-tub.
What man must have his glass before
he can do days work "A glazier.
What kind of lights did they use in
the ancient synagOgues ? Israelites.
Just at this season of the year the
barriers of human nature seem to break
down, and great philosophers and high
toned poets may be seen kneeling down
and anxlOusly wondering whether that
pig-weed is a cucumber or a climbing
bean.-DetrOit Free Press
The story is told of woman who
freely used her tongue to the scandal
of others, and confession to the priest
of what she had done. He gave her
ripe thistle-top, and told her to go out
in various directions and scatter the
seeds, one by one. Wondering at the
penance, she Obeyed, and then returned
and told her confessOr. To her amaze
ment, he bade her go back and gather
the scattered seeds; and when she OBJ
jected that it would be impossible, he
replied that it would be still more diff
ficult to gather up and destroy all evil
reports which she had circulated about
others. Any thoughtless, careless child
can scatter handful of thistle seed be-
fore the wind in a moment; but the
strongest and wisest man cannot gather
them again.
The man who has never seen two
women in Shaker bonnets trying to kiss
each other has never experienced the
rejuvenating power of laugh that
could throw him down and kick him in
the ribs Breakfast Table.
A Connecticut lover, young and en-
thuslastic, who sang and played for
nearly two hours before the house of
his lady love the other evening, was
electrified-that is, shocked-after
short pause, by cordial ''thank you,n
gracefully pronounced by the "other
fellow" who appeared at the drawing
room window.
Anything new or fresh this morn
ing Y" a reporter asked in a railroad
office. eyes," replied the long occupant
OF the apartment. "What is it 2" queried
the reporter, whipping out his note
book. Said the railroad man, edging
toward the door, "That paint you are
leaning against" Such are the loads
newspaper man must bear.-Reokuk
Constitution.
Pat: "What is the fare to Putnam qn
Agent: 'Putnam, Mass, or Putnam.
Conn 7" Pat: "What is the fare ?'
Agent: "$5 to Putnam, Mass, and SIS
to Putnam, Conn., Pat "Well, bedad,
Pll take the cheapest"
He was an entire stranger to the girls
present, and the boys were mean and
would not introduce him. He finally
plucked up courage, and, stepping up
to young lady, requested the pleasure
OF her company for the next dance.
She looked at him in surprise, and in
formed him she had not the pleasure of
his acquaintance. "Well,n remarked
Cazenovia, 'you don't take any more
chances than do.n
A phonOgraph was found wandering
ABOUT the streets of New York yester-
day, yelling, "Fraud fraud fraud first
triumphant! the de facto President!
fraud fraud fraudulent President
fraud fraud fraud !" A disgusted
newsboy kicked the fraud -shrieker SIX
teen times across the street and back
but it kept up its cry of ''fraud fraud
fraud, de fdctO, stamp of fraud fraud
de tacto !! fraud fraud fraud p The
insane phenograph was finally arrested.
and when asked to explain its STRANGE
conduct, said it belonged to Mr.. Dana.
editor of the Sun, and was not respon,
siDle for its ridiculous language. 1t
was discharged, with reprimand, and
ADVISED to go West.-Norr. Herald.