Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1878-01-09
liumor.

They now call it adjourned to meet
in Canada" when an Official skips out
with the peoples money and goes over
to the Dominion.
A California paper says of one of the
artists there that" she is a nice dumpy
little soul, with eyes that have Sigh:
tendency toward toeing in"
A Yankee editor wishes no bodily
harm to his subscribers, but he hopes
that some of them in Arrears will be
seized with remittent fever.
The other day in London, Ont, a man
was fined 50 in gold for swearing on the
street on Sunday. =. S.-Here's mag
niiicent chance for st. Louis to clear of
its debt.
It's perfectly awful to think of. Miss
Kellogg calls Miss Cary "leather-unged
old son-of-a-gun," and there's no Sena-
torial committee Of mutual friends to
prevent u meeting
The Lafayette Journal says of one of
the prominent citizens of Tippecanoe
that he has recovered and is himself
again" Hello, Richard, but who've you
been counterfeiting lately?
The Worcester Press believes there is
a difference between billboard and
board-bill. We fail to see it. The one
is poster, and everybody is opposed to
the other, too.--S. Louis Times.
TITS Augustus Adolphus dc Too,s
Writes down his New Year resolutcs,
Ere the morrow Is over
He'll wake to discover
lic meandcred to bed In his boots Puck.
The subject of Western lecture is,
The march Of man from the beauti-
full to the useful" We suppose that
this refers to mans change from cham
payne to old bourbon. Worcester Press.
During the present year there will be
four cclipses-t of the sun and two
Of the moon. Darnum also promises
to bring out several new stars this sea-
son, and business is very encourag.
ing.
"Silence in the COURT" Numbered n
Kentucky Judge, the other morning.
Half a dozen men have been con-
victed already. without the Courts hav-
ing been able to hear word of the
testimony"
One of the old blue laws of Connect.
cut said: No one shall run on the
Sabbath day, except reverently." I'M
agine man just out of church pursuing
a flying hat reverentiy before high
wind and in the presence of an interested
congregation.
Country Gentleman Ito Foreign
Friend =" Hi, there fire, maa Don't
you see that hare back thcre" For
eigner-"Vat? Shoot 20 poor ting down
rs it retreat? No, no, my good saire,.
Wait till he turn abouts and face me
then l will-zing !'-Judy.
Scene on the New York train Con
ductor Ito lady with small boy" Have
to pay half fare for him, ma'am." La
dy-" All right Hands out u $40
note.) Conductor" Haven't you any
smaler?" Lady alarmed. =" None
but that six-months-old baby over
thereW Conductor explodes nnd ex-
plains. Fact !-PHIatielphia bulletin.
A fashionable undertaken in one of
the northern towns of Kentucky in
dulged his taste by purchasing very
elegant hearse, with plate glass, silver
mountings and mournfully waving
plumes. Agentleman seeing the hearse
passing down the street in gloomy pomp
inquired anxiously Of the nearest friend,
"Who is dead? p The reply was, No
body-he's only drumming"
Lady of House" It's all nonsense
Gentlemen pretended to be judges Of
clarct, and talk of chateau this and
chateau that, but they can't tell one
sort from another! Why, only at our
last dinner ! put on our cheapest in
stead of our best, and not one Of 'em
found it out" Friend-(eager for ven
geance :" Probably not, ma'am A.; il is
not very easy for connoisscur in claret
to distinguish between shilling and
contemporary !'-Funny Folks.
Mr.. x is widower. Since the
time he lost his wife, whom he adored,
five years ago, he has not left off look
ing every day at the locket containing
the hair of his dear and austere COM
panion and the other day he had
visit from a friend at the moment when
he was dycing the lock of hair of the
much-loved one. "What are you do
ing?" asked his friend. "YOu see
well enough / am dyeing the hair an
ash blonde, because this color is much
worn now. l wish the hair Of my
sainted Maria to/be always in fash
ion"