The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1878-09-04
JUST FOR FUN.


A friend spoligizing for another, re-
marked, He is very reserved in his man
ners" very" was the reply; $50 much so
that they are rarely SEEM"
As frightened darkey, chased by an IN
furiated bull, neared the boundaries of the
field, he enthusiastically exclaimed, Mil
lions for de fence, but not one cent for de
BRUTE"
Upright Legislator: What, sir You
take me for one who can be bribed? You
insult my sense of honor-but in case real
ly were such a man, how much would you
give mer'
Backward, turn backward, o. Time, in your
fight; let me remember when last | was
tight Wife at the window, her ma at the
door; you all know how it is who have been
there before.
thrift. He inquiries about it. He reports to
his daughter the next day: Make yourself
easy, my child; l have seen his washer
woman. He does not owe her one cent"
Before we were married." SAID he, ''she
used to say by-bye so sweetly as went down
the steps" And what does she say now?'
asked his friend. lob, Just the same-buy,
buy" "Oh, see; she only exercises diff
ferent spell over you"
SIS Governor Rice inF' inquired a seedy-
looking man of the clerk OF the Brunswick
Boston, few days ago. ''Yes," said the
clerk; Eyes; he is" ''Well," said the man.
walking out, Pm glad of it; It's ia wet night
and he might catch cold if he was out"
A young man hired as a clerk was told by
his employer that all the clerks slept at the
house, and that it was closed punctually at
10 every night ''Oh, don't apologize" said
the youth. ~ don't care what time it closed
If it's only opened early enough in the morn
ing"
Ma, has your tongue got legs?" Got
what, child?" "Got legs, map? Certainly
not; but why do you ask that question: 20
nothingi only l heard pa say that your
tongue was running from morning till
night" Then pa had to take another 'run-
ming"
The following comes from Kansas: Two
persons, neither OF whom bears any striking
resemblance to any great jurist except for
corpulency, were comfortably seated, talking
over matters and things, when one said:
Il once sat on the judges bench in
Texas" That SOP asked his friend. Where
was the judge?'
At an exhibition OF pictures, baker and
facetious friend were examining picture
with a number of rocks in the fore
ground Quoth Batchy: ''Thae rocks are
like Jumps o. dough-" "Weel," said his
friend, ''you shouldna find fault wi that
when the puir chiel o. painter makes his
bread out o. them"
A skeptic, who was badgering a simple
minded old man about a miracle and Ba-
laams ass, finally said: How is 1T possible
for an ass TO talk like a man?" "Well," re-
piled the honest old believer, with meaning
emphasis, 81 don't see why it amt as easy
for an ass to talk like a man, as it is for a
man to ak like an ass"
A little Maine chap was taken to church
for the first time where the minister officiated
in a surplice He was continuously fidget-
ing and asking, Ma, is he not donep The
minister stood up to make the closing prayer,
raising his hands, when the little fellow
turned to his mother, with horror pictured
on his face, saying, ''Ma, he is swelling up
again."
A minister In Scotland took to task one of
his hearers who was frequent absentee, and
the accused defended himself on the plea of
dislike to long sermons. "'Deed mon, "
said the reverend monitor, S Titled nettled
at the lnsinuation, IF We dinna mend. ye
may land yourself where yen ma be troubled
wi many sermons, either long or short"
''Weel, slblIns (perhaps) sac" retorted John,
''but it may be ma for want o. ministers"
At happy spot where a number or negroes
reside, an old negro was heard calling out to
his wife: 'Manda, is you got dem chickens
shut up in de smokehouse, like | told yer?"
mo; an like to know what's de matter
wild you. that you's so mighty ticker bout
dem chickens all at once?' she replied.
"Nebber you mind. / know what's de mat
ter, and OATS huff till dem chickens is
housed When hears dat dem niggers ober
dar in de next yard gwine to hab party to-
morrow night / wants to be shore dat my
chickens doesn't tend it; you hear me?" The
chickens were at once locked up.