The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1878-02-14
THAT LITTLE WIDOW.

She was Just the neatest little woman
in the world-always smiling, always
fresh, plump and deep in her forties-
one of the kind who smooth their aprons
down while they talk to you. Then the
little cigar shop at the corner, which she
kept, and where she ratified on about
fifty different brands of tobacco, and
talked of the weather to her custom ers,
and the kindness which any tale of sor-
row told by vagrants called forth from
her-the many times her fat little hand
went into the drawer for change to be
bestowed on some charitable plea-all
went to make up the best-tempered, the
most motherly and the incest little
woman you would ever chance to meet.
So thought DR.. Ash, who lived next
door, and who often went in for little
snuff, you know, but who invariably
settled his wig more rakishly before pop
ping into the shop. He used to say to
her, "Myl you must be lonely here,
Widow Thorn!'
go, not at all, sir, thanking you p
she would reply.
81 wonder you never married sec
ond time, Widow Thorn u
"Well, it is a wonder, isn't it, doc
tol ? But you see I'm such 3 queer old
body that 1 guess not many could fancy
me-"
Madam, there you must stop! I
cannot hear the divine sex disparaged," "
say, of the old school. She laughed.
Cant woman speak against her
sef?" she asked.
"No! She never speaks against her
self unless she means to fiatter herself
= L
some one is by"
"Sir, you are too plain"
Widow Thorn, was always called
plain, and the wigs too big for me-
Then she laughed at him; and what
promised to be q quarrel ended in a mer-
ry "Good- by"
Then there WAS the baker at the cor
ner. He was a widower, and he used to
come In of an evening for a chat and q
cheap cigar.
Said he. "This lonely state is a,isera-
BILE, isn't it?'
''Do you speak from experience p
asked she.
eyes; my Maria's been dead fourteen
years" said he.
81 shouldn't think it would take SC
long a time for you men to forget any
thing" she said.
"Ah, ma'aml man is wonderful
being-the most wonderful of Gods
creatures"
Except woman" said she.
You're right, widow And that s
the reason the Lord meant that every
man should have a wife and every
woman husband, just to make them
equal. So L think you and [ must have
new partners.
Now, lock here, Mr. Johns You've
had your partner, and I've had mine, and
death has dissolved the partnerships
Now, we're both bankrupt, and we can
carry on a joint business; So VIC must sc
On pleasantly" she said, and laughingiy
bade him Good night p He had to
laugh, too, because she seemed to expect
him TO do nothing else.
Then there was the old bachelor over
tile way, who was learning the bassoon.
He used to come to his window of sum
mer evenin gs, when the widow was stand
ing at her door for breath of fresh air,
and he would blow away at "The Last
Link is Broken till it was wonder he
did not rupture something and die. He
did not smoke, nor drink, nor chew. But
brilliant idea struck him one day, and
over he went.
"Do you keep paper collars, ma'am ?
he asked, tremblingly.
'Yes, sir" she answered, smoothing
her apron down.
"Give me some" he said, vaguely.
"What size p
"Oh, any size 1 don't care"
She looked at him.
Don't you know your numberg" she
asked.
"No, ma'am! But I don't care
much.
"Lud !" she calculated. IS Here, sir
Just you take your collar off and let mt
measure it.
So she did, and she handed him an
other.
"Thatru fit you, SIR" she said.
Then he tried to put it on, and hii
hand tremhled so tbat he broke one O
the button-holes.
"Now it's done, sir" said she.
"rn afraid I am, said ne.
"Siri'
81 mean I'm afraid it is =
Then he took up another, and, cut c
compassion, she said /:
"Let me button it for you. All mel
are death on buttons and button-holes-
I know by poor Thorn"
Then she fitted on the collar, and tn
bachelor WAS ecstatic. As she hande,
| him his change she said