The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-06-13
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

SENSE AND NONSENSE.
AVOID debt and idleness.
The best thing out-Out of debt.
A WASP is q coward, one of your fire.
in-the-rear fellows.
A BURNING lake Of sulphur has been
discovered in the Indian Territory.
The man who keeps his weather eye
open does not return borrowed umbrcl-
las.
To HIS absent father little boy
writes that his puppies are growing
every day, and sometimes tscice day.
THE New England cotton and print
mills are losing nearly as much by fire
this year as by Treasurers. Hack Eye.
To THE American boy there is an
awful, majestic difference in weight
between the butt-end of fish pole and
q hoe handle. Syracuse Sunday Times.
Mrs. ELDER DUNFORD No. 6, of Salt
Lake, has obtained divorce from her
part of that distinguished gentleman,
and become Mrs. Bishop McAllister
No. 10.
A MONKEY broke loose in cigar shop
at East Cambridge, Mass. the other
night, killed pet mocking-bird and a
parrot. and tossed his masters stock in
trade on the floor, destroying $75 worth
of property.
A MAN may cludc q disagrecable cred
it0r for long while sometimes, but
there's one thing in this uncertain vale
of tears he can't dodge. When snccze
has business with q fellow it always
finds him at home.
THE Buffalo Express editorially adj
vises pOlicy-holders in life insurance
companies to live as long as possible,
in order to pay premiums and to die
feeling sanguinc that the company will
beat the widow if it can.
THE following notice is posted verba-
tim by Frcnchman in Peacham, VT,
rs warning to persons inclined to
trcspass ON his premises:
One mans come ON my place, fish;
One mans come on my place, trap;
One mans come on my place, hunt;
Ten dollars lose for him.
In behalf of tramps, it is mentioned
that Mr.. Smith, of Stamford, Conn.,,
with his wife, got out of bed to answer
to the call of tramp. and that while
they were gone there fell upon the bed
u mass of plastcring which would have
probably killed them both had they re-
NAMED.
Mr.. EDISON has patented an arrange
ment which is bound to superscdc the
sewing-machinc in time. Seams are
manufactured in great variety and sold
by the yard, and they can be attached
to garments as desired on very short
notice. The affair is the most novel Of
Mr.. Edison's inventions. 1t sew seams,
at lcast.-Breaktast Table.
A ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS individual came
into the Office, this morning, to adver-
tise his wife, who had left him, that
people should not trust her on his &C.
count. He asked the bookkceper the
price, and when told said, in some sur
prise: Ills that so? Why, that's what
1 paid to advertise my first wife.
thought prices might have come down. -
-Da',bmrv Nes0s.
SNOW" THEY said to her, "you can
60 in and see him; but remember that
he is very sick with heart disease, and
don't say word that will trouble him. -
Then she walked in, sat down on the
edge of chair, and remarked cheer
fully, as she shook her head, "Ah-ah!
-m!-sad, amt it? Thought I'd jest
run in, cause they said there wuz no
KNOWN how soon you might drop OFF,
IN. Y. Graphic.
AN enterprising Brooklyn sexton.
having introduced the father of a young
man to the mother of young woman,
and thus contributed to bringing about
the marriage of the young people, got
thirty dollars from the old gentleman
for securing wife portiOned with
80, 500 for his son, and tried to get
seventy-five dollars from the old lady
for getting a husband for her daughter.
When he went into court, he was non
suited, of course.
SHERIFF YOUNG, of Concordia Parish
in Louisiana, is accused of taking a
murderer out of prison, a few days ago,
that he might touch the wounds of his
dead victim and see whether they would
bleed or not. Of course they did not
bleed, and the Sheriff took the man,
who is friend of his, back to prison,
the whole performance, as is alleged,
being trick to raise presumption in
favor of the murderer among the super
stitious people of the parish.
A TUBE 100 feet long runs through a
line of hitching posts in Rockville.
Conn. A farmer was hitchiug his horse
at the end post, the other day, when a
boy at the other end shouted through
the pipe, ordering the farmer to take
his horse away. He unhitched and
looked around to find whom. he had
offended, but seeing no one, he tied the
halter again. The mysterious voice
again ordered him off, and the be-
wildered man hastily jumped into his
wagon and rode away.
WHEN we hear that man has killed
himself by excessive brain work, we
feel that we should like to have the
witnesses in court in order that we
might rigidly cross-examine them.
What sort Of work was it? Was it brain
work pure, or was it mixed up with
anxiety, worry and excitement? What
were the mans habits? Did he indulge
overmuch in what are called stimu-
lantsa Did he deprive himself of ajust
allotment of sleep? If all these ques-
tions could be asked and answered, we
suspect it would be found that the man
who is supposed to have died of ex-
cessive mental energy, died rather Of
want of fresh air and exercise, of too
much firewatcr in some form or an
other, of horrible financial embarrass-
ment, of late hours, and of excitements
other than those pure work breeds in
the human brain.-London Standard.
Rashfnl People.
Or those wastes and burdens of life
which we call minor miseries, bashful-
ness is conspicuous evil. The bash
full man forever runs gauntlet of in
genious public torture. He is endued
with q sixth sense of suffering. Ar
rows of sarcasm never aimed at him
find every joint in his harness. Blows
of criticism meant for some antipo-
dean fall on his defenseless head. Fires
of condemnation lighted for PARKWAY
OfFnndorc oo0,.oh him IN thu r,,sob