The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1878-05-18
PITH AND POINT.

To Gortschakoff is new English verb.
1t means to hornswoggle.
A BURLINGTON man has named his
girl-baby George Yelliot.
IT will be unsafe to reduce the army
until the colleges are destroyed.
THE members of brass band are the
only genuine horny-handed sons of toll.
elevated railroad.
A DUTCHMAN repeated the adage,
Birds NIT one feather goes NIT dem
selves"
A LITTLE boy said, when a woman
eloped with his daddy, that :" a pa-taker
is as bad as thief"
BETTER dinner with green pea soap
where love is, than cold bologna sausage
and hatred therewith.-P. 1. Man.
IT is singular how early in life child
gains the reputation of resembling the
richest and best-looking relations.
The Washington Post calls Benefits
Hibernian force the Editorial corps of
the New York Herald"
OUR ancestors, the monkeys, couldn't
have been SO ignorant, after ALL They
were all educated in the higher branches
AN old lady, when she heard the min
lister say there would be a nave in the
new church, observed that she knew well
who the party was.
WHAT" inquiries the Philadelphia
Press, becomes of all the promising
children| H'm, we know what's be-
come of ore of them.
CLOTHEs-PINS can now be bought for
two cents per dozen, and there is no
longer any excuse for hanging linen
pants on the line by knot in the legs.
SCENE iii railway carriage: Fond
wife. Let me see your paper mo-
as we get to the tunnel"
How can five men divide five eggs so
that each man shall receive one, and one
shall remain in the dish? One man takes
the dish with the egg.
1T is believed by the Utica Observer
that the phonograph will yet be speaker
of the house. Not SO long as the lady
of the house survives.
ALEXANDER Fl. STEPHENS got lost in
the United States senate chamber few
days ago. After a long search, he was
found seated in David Davis chair.
A PERSON being asked why he had
given his daughter in marriage to man
with whom he was st enmity, answered:
" | did it out of pure revenge"
A WEST HILL boy wandered into a
Jefferson street drug store, and wanted
to buy 10 cents worth of fly paper " to
make kites Ha,cheye.
EMERSON says: GA weed is plant
whose virtues have not yet been discov-
cred" II is clearly evident that Emer-
son doesn't chew the "weed." -Norri8-
torn Herald.
THE " Profits of Farming" is the title
of an article going the rounds of the
papers. It probably alludes to the proph-
cts who always lay out a poor potato or
peach crop as soon as spring opens.
A LAWRENCE newspaper says that a
young man recently "shot himself with
a rival" The young fellow doubtless
had reason to believe that the rival
wouldn't 60 off, Worcester Press.
HOTEL guest, on retiring: ~ want
to get up at o'clock" Facetious night
clerk: Have not got one, SIR" Guest:
" Not got what" Clerk: GA potato
clock"
A NoRRIsToWN fisherman on Friday
last caught twentyseven trout, some of
them, he says, weighing over two pounds
apiece. He would have caught more,
but he is not good liar.
THE cold world little realizes the sense
of desolation that shuts down on a man
who thinks he has been handed too much
change by his grocer, when he lodges
around the corner and finds it right to a
penny.
A RESIDENT of Waterbury, Conn,
bought neighbor's dog because il howl
ed, and killed him. The neighbor dug
up the body, got one dollar bounty for
it, and then bought another dog. Then
the first man howled.
1t matters not what sort of dog a
man may be leading home with a string.
1t may be blue-and-gray cur or a brin-
die bull pup, yet he always says with
pride that the dog is half black and tan.
--Neao York Herald.
! SOMEBODY estimated that every man
who lives to be sixty years old has spent
seven months buttoning his shirt collar
Thirty years more ought to be added fol
hunting up the collar BUTTON Bridge
port Standard.
AN editor narrowly escaped having
his pocket picked of $4,000 in crowd
in Philadelphia. The thief got off with
his wallet, but fortunately it only con
tanned sixteen cents and recipe fol
making paste that will keep six months
without souring.
A LADY took street car at the Brook.
Ign ferry the other day, and rode con
tentedly to the bridge. Then she called
the conductor in and told him she guess
ed she was on the wrong car. Where
did you want to go, ma'am?" "T(
Greenpoint," answered the lady. Why
this car goes to Greenwood" eyes
Well, l saw the Green and thought
was all right" eyes, ma'am. Yor
saw the Green but you didn't see the