The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1878-01-12

green apples the SIZE OF W8lnuG8. Int
Pittsburg Penn.) Telegraph says tina
out in the groves near that city or
Christmas Day were the merry picnick
ers and the +" dancers dancing in tune, ,
as though it we're midsummer.
A Good Story Told About Alexander
Stephens and Bob Toombs.
A doctor named Royston had sued
Peter Bennett for his bill, long overdue,
for attending the wife of the latter
Alex. H. Stephens was on the Bennett
side, and Robert Toombs, then Senator
of the United States, was for DR.. Roys-
ton. The Doctor proved his number OF
visits, their value according to local
custom and his own authority to dc
medical practice. Mr.. Stephens told
his client that the physician had made
out his case, and as there was nothing
wherewith to rebut or offset the claim,
the only thing left to do was to pay it.
"No, said Peter; 50 hired you to speak
to my case, and now speak" s-s,
Mr.. Stephens told him there was moth
ing to say; he had looked on to see
that it was made out, and it was.
Peter was obstinate, and at last Mr..
Stephens told him to make q speech
himself, if he thought one could be
made.
ST WILL" said Peter Bennett, "if Bob
by Toombs won't be too hard on me-
Senator Toombs promised, and Peter
began: a-
GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY: You
and is plain farmers, and if we don't
stick together these ERE lawyers and
doctors will git the advantage of US. I
amt no lawyer nor doctor, and amt no
objections to them in their proper place ;
but they amt farmers, gentlemen of the
Jury.
Snow, this man Royston was new
doctor, and went for him for to come
an to doctor my wife's sore leg. And
he come an put some salve truck onto
it and some rags, but never done it one
bit of good, gentlemen of the Jury. 1
don't believe he is no doctor, no way.
There is doctors as is doctors sure
enough, but this man don't earn his
money; and if you send for him, as Mrs.
Sarah Atkinson did, for negro boy as
was worth $1,000, he just kills him and
wants pay for it."
81 don't" Numbered the Doctor.
"Did you cure him?" asked Peter,
with the slow accents of a Judge with the
black cap on.
The Doctor was silent, and Peter pro-
ceeded:
Gas was sayin', gentlemen of the
Jury, we farmers when we sell our cot
ton has got to give vslly Tor the money
we ask, and doctors amt none too good
to be put to the same rule. And don't
believe this Sam Royston is no doctor,
nohow.'
The physician again put in his oar,
with, "Look at my diploma if you think
l am no DOCTOR"
ellis diplomat" exclaimed the new
fledged orator with great contempt.
ellis diploma! Gentlemen, that is a
big word for printed sheepskin, and it
didn't make no doctor of the sheep as
first wore it, nor does it of the man as
now carries it. A good newspaper has
more in it, and pint out to ye that he
amt no doctor at ALL"
The man of medicine was now in q
fury, and screamed out, "Ask my pa
tients If am not doctor!"
81 asked my wife" retorted Peter,
" an she said as how she thought you
wasn't" -.f. i~s
"Ask my other PATIENTS" said DR..
Royston.
This seemed to be the straw that
broke tbs camel's back, for Peter re-
piled with look and tone of unutterable
sadness: ee4-
"That is hard sayin', gentlemen of
the Jury, and one that requires me to
die or to have powers as I've hearn tell
ceased to be exercised since the Apos-
ties. Does he expect me to bring the |
Angel Gabriel down to tOot his horn be- |
fore his time and cry aloud, Awake, We |
dead, and tell this Court and Jury your |
opinion of Royston's practiceP' Am I |
to GO to the lonely churchyard and rap
on the silent tomb, and say to UNI as is
at last at rest from physic and doctor
bills, Z" Git up here, yen, and state if
you died natural death, or was hur-
ried up some by doctorsP' He says ask
his patients, and, gentlemen of the Ju-
~, Lbey are all dad! Where is Mrs.
Beazley's man Sam? Go ask the worms
in the graveyard where he lies. Mr..
Peake's woman Sarah was attended by
him, and her funeral was appinted and
he had the corpse ready. Where is that
likely Bill as belonged to Mr.. Mitchell?
New in glory a. expressin' his opinion
on RoystOn's doctorin'. Where is that
baby gal of Harry Stephens'p She are
where doctors cease from troublin' and
the infants are at rest. 1909.
"Gentlemen of the Jury, he has ct
chicken enough at my house to pay for
his salve, and 1 furnished the rags, and
don't suppose he charges for maxim
Of her worse, and even he don't pretend
70 charge for curin' of her, and 1 am
humbly thankful that he never give her
nothin' for her iHwards, as he did his
,ther patients, for somethin' made um
III die mighty sudden'- o II
Here the applause made the speaker
lit down in great confusion, and in spite
# logical restatement of the case BY
senator Toombs, the Doctor lost and
Peter Bennett won.-NeU York World,
"Dsne Quit Al Dat Asw.Y
Mr.. Stephens has many stories to tell
# negroes, and one is Of. q famous cot
on and chicken depredator, who, since
he war, met the ex-Vice-P President in ,
he road swell. Thomas. ,: vas the {