davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15
Mark Twain's Legend Of a Musket.

Mark Twain tells the following story,
related by fellow passenger, who, ban
tered about his timidity, said he never
had been scared since he had loaded an
old Queen Anne musket for his father
once, whereupon he gave the following:
You see the old man was trying to
learn me to shoot blackbirds and beasts
that tore up the young corn and such
things, so that I could be of some use
around the farm, because I wasn't big
enough to do much. My gun was sin
gle-barrel shotgun, and the old man
weighed a ton, made a report like q
thunder-clap and kicked like a mule.
The old man wanted me to shoot the
old musket some time but I was afraid.
One day, though, got her down and
took her to the hired man and asked him
to load her up, because it was out in the
field. Hiram said:
"Do you see those marks on the stock
An X and v, on each side of the queens
crown? Well, that means ten balls and
five slugs-that's her load."
"But how much powder ?"
"Oh," he says, "it don't matter; pnt
in three or four handfuls."
So loaded her up that way, and it
was an awful charge-I had sense enough
to see that and started out. leveled
her on good many blackbirds, but every
time went to pull the trigger shut
my eyes and winked. was afraid OF
her kick. Toward sundown fetched up
to the house, and there was the old man
waiting on the porch.
"Been out hunting have YEP"
eyes, sir" says I.
"What did you kill 2"
"Didu't kill anything, sir; didnr
shoot her off-was afraid she'd kick"
know blame we'll she would.
"Gimme that gun |" the old man said,
as mad as sin.
And he took aim at a sapling on the
other side of the road, and began tt
drop back out of danger, and the mex
moment heard the earthquake and saw
the Queen Anne whirling end over end
in the air, and the old man spinning
around on one heel, with one leg up ant
both hands on his jaw, and the bark fly
ing from that old sapling like there wa
hail storm. The old mans shoulde
was set back three inches, his jaws turn
ed black and blue, and he had to lay III
for a week. Cholera or nothing else Cal
scare me the way was scared that time
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15
Sardines.

The sardiue fisheries lave supported
many families for generations. The
chief supply originally came from off
Sardinia, whence they take their name,
but for long time they were mainly
caught on the coast of Brittany. Sar-
dimes are usually abundant in French
waters in this season, and the catch VIII
be larger than in any previous year. A
sardiue feet consists OF vessels from
eight to ten tons each, with crew of
from six to twelve persons, and goes six
to nine miles from land. The bait con-
sisting of eggs and fish. cut up, is scat.
tered on the water. The sardines are
taken with gill nets. A few are salted
on board, but the bulk are caliied on
shore. Their heads are cut of, and
they are well WISHED and sprinkled with
salt. After drying, they are arranged in
frames, in almost perpendicular rows,
and immersed again and again in the
best boiling olive oil. When sufficient
ly cured they are packed in the small tin
boxes by wrmen and children, after
which men fill the boxes up with fresh
oil and solder them tight. The work is
not complete, however, for before fit foi
the table the fish require cooking. To
this end they are placed in a covered
kettle and boiled from half an hour to an
hour, according to their size. After dry
ing, labelling, and placing in wooden
cases they are ready for shipment. The
American sardine, or menhaden, is taker
in large quantities on the coast of New
Jersey and put up in oil.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15
The Last Chinese Porcelain,

Edward King writes in the Boston
Journal: Three centuries sufficed to COM
plete the ruin OF Chinese porcelain MAX
ing. The workmen were apparently
paralyzed. Their arms lost their cum
ming; secrets of color disappeared. There
is god of porcelains in China; he must
feel sad at times. This god was poor
workman in dim ages past, but work
man of signal talent, and every year he
brought forth some beautiful work which
won him renown. But just as he was at
the height of his glory he became 80
enraged or was 80 filled with despair,
because an experiment which he was
making in the burning of two vases
seemed certain to fail, that he threw
himself headlong into his own furnace,
and he and his talant were speedily lost
to the world. His friend, however,
brought the story to the ears of the en-
peror. That potentate expressed his
profound grief, but at the same time,
having an eye to business, told the
friends to rake out the furnace and see
if the unhappy artists experiment had
really been unsuccessful. Lo and be-
hold when this was done there appear
ed two vases of such lustrous beauty
that all concluded that success had
crowned the workman's efforts, and the
sorrowing emperor canonized the dead
man, and built him a noble temple.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15
Some Epitaphs.

One at Ockham, in Surrey, on John
Spong, carpenter, which would seem
to have been written to order by schol-
or, is original aid uhiquei
" Who many sturdy oak had lain along,
Felled by Deaths surer hatchet, here lies
Spong.
Posts oft he made yet ne'er place could get,
And lived by railing, tho he had no wit.
Old saws he had, sltho' no antiquarian,
And styles corrected yet no grammarian.
Long lived he Ockham's primest architect;
And lasting as his fame tomb { erect,
In vain we seek an artist such as he,
Whose pales and gates are for eternity"
There is no lack of other artists whose
callings have survived them on the tomb
stone or tablet. One, for example, is
Thomas Chambers, 1865. "Of euch is
the Kingdom of Heaven prefaces the
inscription purporting that "Here lie
the Remains Of Thomas Chambers,
Dancing.master, whose genteel address
and sssidnity in teaching recommended
him to all that had the pleasure of his
acquaintance. OF Bryan Tunstall, we
are told that he was poor, but honest,
and ga most expert angler, until Death,
envious of his merit, threw out his line,
hooked him, and landed him on the 21st
of April, $780," Another is IN honor of
John Bilbie, clock-maker, aged thirty.
three:
"Bilbie thy
Movements kept in play
For thirty years and more we say,
Thy balance or thy
Mainspring's broken,
And all thy movements cease to work."
The angler and the clock-maker respect.
lively represent large classes. The
former craft suggests pun on names
in a case of cleric surnamed Ham,
(hamus), as we'll as less metaphoric al
lusiops to the Asherman's craft; while
the latter recalls the elaborate trade
epitaph on George Rongleigh, watch.
maker, as well as one on the much ear
lier artist, Thomas Pierce, who died al
Berkeley, Gloucestershire, in 1886. II
runs as follows:
here lieth Thomas Pierce, whom no mar
taught,
Yet he in iron, brass and silver wrought.
He Jacks and Clocks and Watches (with art
| made
And mended too, when others worke did fade
or Berkeley five tymes Mayor this artist was
And yet this mayor, this artist was but grasse
When his own watch was down on the Las
| Day,
| He that made Watches had not made Key
To winde it up, but useless 1t must lie
Until he rise againe no more to die!"
Akin to these are epitaphs on personi
with trade-surnames, such as Anthon,
Cooke, of Yoxford, who died on Eastel
Monday, 1913, upon whom, according t.
his epitaph, came
"Leane hungrie death, who never pity took.
And cawse ye Feaste was ended slew tn
Cook"
Few puns on names, however, ar,
better than one on Anne Hillary, O
Beaminster, whose obituary panegyris
was no doubt lawyer:
"'Tis not because this woman's Virtue dies
That the brass tells us Here Anne Hillar
lies.'
Her names long-loved; she is in this com
mended;
The poor cry out their Hilary Term is ended. ,
London Saturday RevieaO.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15
FARM, GARDEN AND HOUSEHOLD.
The Farmers wife.


Up In the morning at the dawn Of day,
Then hardly time to her Maker to pray.
Milking her COWS with "Oo, boss, co."
Under her feet no grass osn grow.
Busy so busy, and this her song
The summer is short, and the winter long,"
Old in her youth, often weary Of life,
Bless her COP help her the farmers wife,
Chickens to feed, such a hungry crowd,
Calves to be tended OF which she is proud.
Bread Of the ightest and sweetest to bake,
Butter the golden, and fragrant to make;
Honey, like amber, to strain and to clear,
Fruit to preserve in its season each year,
Cheese to press, and to turn each day,
Bless her Cop bless her we sigh, as we say,
Washing and ironing to do each week,
Hundreds Of things that pen cannot speak;
Cook and confectioner seamstress, is she,
Dairymaid, housemaid, and teacher to be,
Nurse, and physician, and preacher, at home
City Of refuge when erring ones roam.
"She hath done what she could" short hel
lifes little day.
Bless her Cop help her my friends let us
pray.
Anne L. Jack.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15
Clear the Way

For the escape from the system Of it's waste
and debris, which, IL retained. would vitiate
the bodily fluids and overthrow health. That
important channel Of exit, the bowels, may be
kept permanently free from distractions by us
ing the non-griping, gently acting and agree
able cathartic, Hostetter's Stomach Bitters,
which not only liberates impurities, but invig-
crates the lining Of the intestinal canal when
weakened by constipation or the unwise use OF
violent purgatives. The stomach, liver, and
urinary organs are likewise reinforced and
aroused to healthful action by this benefcent
tonic and corrective, and every organ, fiber,
muscle and nerve experiences share Of its
invigorating influence. Unobjectionable in
flavor, most genial and wholesome medicinal
stimulant, and owing its efficacy to botanic
sources exclusively, it is the remedy best ad-
apted to household use on account Of Its safety,
wide scope and speedy action.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15

lightning travels nearly a million
times faster than thunder. The speed
of lightning is SO great that it would go
480 times round the earth in a minute,
whereas the sound of thunder would go
scarcely thirteen miles in the same space
of time. Thunder will take second
to travel $50 yards, hence a popular
method of approximating the distance
Of thunder cloud is as follows: Imme-
diately You see the lightning fash put
your hand upon your pulse and count
how many times it beats before you
hear the thunder; if it beats six pulsa-
tions the storm is one mile off, if twelve
pulsations it is two miles off, and so on.
In the case of elderly people five pulsa-
tions would measure nearly the same
period of time as six in the case of young
persons.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15

The singing swan is a native of the
far, far North, where it is called the
Whistling Swan" Its notes are me-
lodious, and as whole focks of them
sing while in flight, their high, wild,
viol-like music is often heard at great
distances. 1t visits England and the
Scottish Islands during the cold winter
months, where it is shot and marketed
as game. These song swans are also
called Hoopers. from the resemblance
of their note to the cry of "Hoop
hOopl"
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15

Don't tell man you sweat. It is
vulgar. Inform him that you are being
deprived of the saline and oleaginous
fluids of your material substance
through the excretories Of your pellucid
cuticle, with sensible condensation of
moisture upon the superficial exterior.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15

It is said that at the time of the Rev.
olution German wished to open tav-
ern near Philadelphia, and having moth
ing for a sign but picture of his old
king he placed it on pole by his door.
and the Village which sprang up around
the tavern is called "The King OF Prus-
sia" to this day.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15

Every body knows that so long as there is
proud flesh in sore or wound, it will not heal
The obstacle Is speedily removed and the flesh
reunited by HENRYs CARBoLIc SALvE the finest
embodiment in existence Of that supreme puri-
fer, carbolic acid. Its emollient ingredients
modify its pungent acid basis, 80 that it never
cauterizes, stings or scarifes the diseased part
Sores and eruptions Of all kinds are cured by
il. All Druggists sell it;
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15

We have q list of a Thousand country week.
lies, in which we can insert a one-inch adver-
tisement one year for two dollars and q quarter
q paper, or for the same price we can insert
ffty-two reading notices "a new one every
week), averaging seven lines each. For list OF
papers and other particulars address BEALs &
FOSTER, 10 Spruce Street, New York.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15
IMPORTANT NOrICE.-Furmer-, Fa,

IMPORTANT NOTICE.-FUrmcr~,F FAME
lies and Others purchase Remedy equal to DR..
TOBIAS VENETIAN LINIMENT for the cure of
Chosra Disrrhoea, Dysentery, Group, Collie and Sea
oath accompanying each b,ttle) and externally for
Chronic Rheuma, ism, Hes,dsehe, ToothaOhs, Soc
Bites, Old Sores, Pans in III Lhmbs' Back and & ohest
and who has used it but continues to do
stating il Ten Dollars bottle they would not be
without it, Thousands of Oertifcstss be seen at
the Depot speaking of it's wonderful curative proper
ties. Sold by the Druggists at 40 cts. Depot AZ
MURRAY ST., New York.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15

For upwards Of thirty years Mrs. WINSLOW'S
SOOTHING SYRUP has been used for children
with never-failing success. 1t corrects acidity
Of the stomach, relieves wind collie, regulates
the bowels, cures dysentery and diarrhoa
whether arising from ething or other causes.
An old and ll-tried remedy. as cts. q bottle
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15

MEDICAL STUDENTS will be pleased to learn
that the Faculty of the Louisville Medical
College louisville, Ky. y now gives three COM
plete courses Of lectures in seventeen months,
and go arrange their prices that a student
saves S297 in his medical education, and gains
his third course of lectures; all other colleges
give in this time only two courses. Beneficiary
privileges are limited, we see, to FIVE per cent.
of the class. Next session begins October 1,
1873. Students should at once apply, as above,
for al
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15

The evil consequences resulting from impure
blood are beyond human calculation, so are
the vast sums expended in worthless remedies.
Parsons Purgative Pills make new rich blood,
and taken one a night for three months will
change the blood in the entire system.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15
CHEW
The Celebrated
"MATCHLEss"
Wood Tag Plug
TOpACco
THE PIONEER TOBACCO COMPANY,
New York, Boston, and Chicago

Grace's Salve, manufactured by Seth W.
Fowle & Sons Boston, is becoming more and
more popular every day, and its sales are rap
idly increasing. 1t cures Cuts, Burns, Scalds,
Felons, Salt Rheum, Scala Head, Ulcers, Flesh
Wounds, &c. 25 cents box. By mail IS cents.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15

"Stack arms: Pitchforks and rakes.
Chicago Journal. Ground arms
Spades and hoes.-Jacksonville (Hl.'
Journal. Present aims: A donation :
Me,o York Graphic. Order arms: The
rod and switch.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15

Here's nice little piece OF news for
the little folks: ga firm in Belleville,
III, turns out l6O, 900 gallons of castor
oil every year."
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15

The relaxing power of Johnson's Anodyne
Lniment is almost miraculous. A gentleman
whose leg was bent at the knee and stiff for
twenty years had it limbered by its use, and
the leg is now as good as the other.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15

NUTRITIOUS Cookery.
Nothing is 30 well calculated to promote good
health and good humor as light, easily di.
gested nutritious cookery. With that unrivsled
article, Dooley's Yeast Powder, in the kitchen,
elegant white, light and wholesome bread,
rolls, biscuits, cake Of every kind, and corr
bread, wafies, mullins, buckwheat cakes, etc.,
are always possible in every household.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15
S 500 o +!

One of the Bonds issued by the Canada Silver Mining
Company is redeemed each year at $4,000 cash
Cost o per Bond. For particulars address immedi
atey, enclosing stamp III. IMLACH, Secretary,
LONDON, CANADA. Agents wanted.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15
Paints Ready for Use

They are uniform in shade and the color can always
be matched Any one can paint with them Tney nave
very superior covering properties and do not like the
socalled patent paints contain either water, be- zine
alkali. These paints are in Liquid Form, and are
in small cans of one to five pounds; Send for sample
card showing different shades. +. w. DENOE d o.,
cor William and Eulton Sta. New York.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-08-15

Gin tn Q10fl0 invested in Wall st. Stocks makes
WlU lU WlUuu fortunes every month. Book sent
vmn,, free explaining everything
Address BAXTER co, Bankers, ii Wall g., N. Y.
WE don't guarantee a fortune, but You can make
w Y2oo 70 $500 clean each month. Only 81 capital
quired to commence
A. Is. MORSE. Hubbardston Mass.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-02-16
An OPEN lEITER,

To THE EplroR:-Allou me through the cell
umns Of your valuable paper to call the attention
of the travelling public to the following facts. viz:
During the year 1878 1t is the Intention of the
management of the Missouri Pacific Through
Line TO relay almost Its entire track with the
heaviest steel rails. and with Its exceliently bal
lasted road bed place it in such shape that it
will compare fsvorably with certain Eastern
Trunk lines. over which trains are run q. . rate
Of speed averaging from forty to fifty miles per
hour.
In addition to this. the rolling stock aud equip
ment Of the line Is being constantly improved,
and even now the passenger trains of the Mis-
sourI Pacific Through Line to st. Louis and the
East are aoted for their solidity. Comfort, and
elegance. and with ITS magnificent Pullman Pal.
ace Sleeping and DrswIng-room cars, challen-
yes comparison with any road in the country.
For the further ben eft of its patrons. all tickets
will be sold at the cheapest rates, aud every ef-
fort made by Its employees to render q journey
over the line pleasant and attractive.
For maps. lme tables. or further information
call upon or address c.. Ben. Russell, agent Mo
Pacific Rail 'ay, Lexington, Mo. IOurs truly,
GEO. II .HEAFFORD,
1.decl5y General Passenger Agent.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-02-16
ao0D RESULTS

Are always pleasant to contemplate, IS every
dyspeptic sufferer who uses psrker's Ginger
Tonic will attest. To obtain from this remedy
the most gratifying relief when distressed with
Headache, Low Spirits. Nervousness. Waleiul-
ness. Pslpitstion of the Heart. Liver Disorders,
Ces;iveness. Pain in the Stomach. Heartburn,
Cramps. etc 10 q pleasant experience that sur
prises no less than it comforts. Another re-
variable feature of this remedy IL its powerful
specific action on the skin and mucous surfaces
OF the throat and lungs BY which il uniailipg
cures the worst cas.s of Cough, Cold and Sore
Throat. 1t cures in u wonderfully short time,
removes all soreness form the lungs, and pro
teets the feeble from Consumption. Buy q 81
bottle from your druggist. u. W. Il. Tevis, Lex
i1gton, Mo-. " . sample bottle at Is cts, and
tests It's merits. dsca3.ow2n.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-02-16
Religious.

Regular services At the Episcopai church to-
morrow morning and afternoon.
Elder Rober, Mediation, of St. Louis, preached
At the Christian church Tuesday Wight.
Rev James NJ CLANCY VIII preach at the
PRESBYTERIAN church to- morrow morning, also
stIight
az ~Ipili-lIty succeeds in teaching II man that
he Will die like n beast it will. at the SAINT time.
succeed in teaching him how To live like one"
Atthe prayrr-Ineeting. at the Christian church.
on Ne 1t Wednesday night. Mr.. A. Henry Major
" i'll speak on the subject, How 10 faith pro-
duced.
An interesting prorracte'i meeting is in pro-
sress ri the Methodist church. In this city. Rev.
NJ. q. Williams will preach O-Inorrow morning
and evening.
Rev. "A. Stern will preach ut the Baptist
church. in THIS city. in German. Tomorrow
afternoon at three O'Clock. Subject The gos-
pei OF Satan" All are respectfully ~invite'l.
Rev. l. f. Clemens, assistj by Rev. A. NJ.
Buchanan. Of Waverly. No. commenced n
protracted meeting at Mt. Hebron church, last
Tuesday evening. There wilt be preaching to-
morrow morning.
Rev. Geo. Leyburn, of Winchester. Va. has
accepted An invitation to visit the .. S. Presby-
terrain church of this place with reference to u
Perhane" settlement Mr' LeSburh mas lot
e""he years p"s' "eeh u missionary 10 "rsece'
p'e"'e" ~ eaiu '"A' 'ne'e prospect
u" JUL pas'o''
!" consequence Oh tue departure oi Dr' Cham-
DIE .hefe WIN DE no preaching IN the Baptist
e'"'o ''-n's"'' ihere VIII De = mee'ihs. thia
evening" u . ''ocA' p. M i"r 'he reception oi
"ehioets' Ut. iaioifd Will preach Tomorrow
USUAL Al tue close Oh the night service he
m "a -
"l A'ih'h'stef 'ne ORDINANCE Oh Daptism'
"'s"iA' "el'ices 'o-hhorre" morning ana eve
mug "n'i'.'A" o"uFcn. oJ Eiaef iiushes.
II "'i"'"s ''oouf VIII continuation Oh
."' "P'" a." 'u"'@'''
"'snt .nere II oen
Suu"A' a'sn''
U tue Diuerences between Baptists and
Christians
..Goipg IN church .;,,;ro in
A =" ~ pe"o'
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1878-02-16
COUNTY coURTPRocEED1NGs.
February Term. Continued.

Dram shop license granted james Nussatti.
judgment OIL county bonds oil Chas. Virgins:
purchased o., lie ~ At 81 :a33 ~.
County attorney ordered to dIsniss suit agains;
DcMotte and Winsor securities on school note.
on the payment of 500 and costs.
Geo II. Aoun,joy appoiatrd commissioner to
sell stockton land.
Clerk ordered to enter satisfaction on school
mortgage Jno. F. Ryland. paid some years ago.
A levy OF 8 per cent on the valuation Of the
real estate OF Lafayette county. for satisfaction
Of InsndsmuS in case OF Thos. Hunton vs.. Lsia-
yetie county.
The contract Of collector with Messrs. Ra,h-
bun ank Callahan. to bring suits under back tax
law approved.
Ordered. that no suits be brought by collector
Tor township railroad taxes on back tax book.
Ordered, that 81. 400 be transferred IRON couu-
~ expense to road fund.
Ordered. that ola. 900 be paid back from coun-
ty expense to compromise fund. for amount Dor
rowe ed in 1877.
The following petit jurors were drawn for
April term ofths circuit court: Leslie McMeekin.
N. c. Lawrence. John Burton, Della Jacobs,
Ed. Cruse. n. +. McCord, 3. +. smelsor, AL
bert Jordan. VIM. K. AcChesney, Ed. N. Way
ner. 1hos. x. Austin. Chas. Poole, James II
Withers Albeit Keller. Fred. B~roctman, Jno.
p. Ardinger. Lewis W. Cox, Jas. W. Caldwell
Jas. II. Burns.
Record Of adjourned November term read and
approved.
Court adjourned TO first Monday IN March.
The following allowances were made
Vim. and Lewis Theemsn. for lumber for
James B.. Hori salary y, o,
~ I.1ef -.'-......-.....-... ~ w