St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1878-03-01
Squibs.

The investigating committee in a
spiritual seance in Haverhill, Mass,
stationed a man with revolver, to
shoot at the materialized spirits. The
apparitions failed to appear.
Live and ledrn-Vicar's daughter:
'And why did Aaron make a golden
calf?" Sharp child of three and-a-half:
"Please, miss, because he hadn't got
enough gold to make a cow"
Upon proposition to reduce the pay
of the school teachers in New York,
the Graphic of that city aptly remarks:
"We will save enough on cheap teach
ers in one year to build a new Jail"
Worth thinks every dress ought to
have some Repression" The greatest
depression" about Worth's dresses is
made by the husband when he sees the
bill. And a very warm and vOluminOus
expression it is too!
P. T. Barnum is a large cattle owner,
and he commenced with one wOOlly
horse.
We may not possess castle in Spain
but we have Cochin China. .-Stamf0rd
Adj 0cdte.
The Duke of Edinburgh is terrified
almost into convulsions at the prospect
of war with Russia. The Empress of
all the Russians is his mother-in-law,
and if he should be taken prisoner
Haavkeye.
One night a trombone player wished
to be absent from the orchestra, and as
there was another trombone, instead of
asking leave of the conductor, he re-
sorted to the expedient of getting a
friend to go in and take his place.
"Watch the other trombone" said he
to bis friend; puff out your cheeks
well, keep your fingers active, look
alive, and you'll pass muster" All
went well until a passage for two from
bones was reached. Not sound from
the Instruments. 1t turned out that
both trombone players had resorted to
the same ruse.
A fashion item says that white Turk
ish toweling is used for morning wrap
pers. 1t would be a good thing if the
same material was Oftener made close
ly-fitting, with soap and water trim
mings. Turner's Falls Reporter.
Gustave Rohm of New York, while
tossing a silver half dollar in the air
and catching it in his mouth, accident
ally swallowed it, and his life is despair
ed of. Here is another strong argu-
ment against the silver bill. ROhm
might have swallowed two OF three
gold half dollars without experiencing
any injurious effects.-NOrr. Herald.
A lady living near Baltimore, who is
very deaf, stopped milkman as he was
passing the house the other day, and
asked him how much he charged for
quart of milk, and then had her ear
trumpet to catch the reply. He drew a
quart of milk and emptied it into the
trumpet, and the result has been that
he has to go three miles out of his way
to keep out of sight of the lady's son,
who sits on the porch, with shot gun,
waiting for him to pass.
Two Irishmen were proceeding in
company to a Jail yard to witness an
execution, when one said to the other,
'I say, Pat, where wud yez be if the
hangman had his dues?" "Begorra," !"
said Pat, "I'd jist be walkin' down this
sthreet alone"
Obliging.-Mistress -"Mary, has that
parcel of stationery arrived yet from
the stores 2" Parlor Maid-"No, Ma'am.
But can lend you few sheets of my
own nOte-paper, if you don't mind us
ing my monogram Punch.
81 had more money than he to carry
on the suit" said very mean GLASGOW
individual who had just won a lawsuit
over poor neighbor, "and that's where
| had the advantage of him. Then
had much better counsel than he, and
there | had the advantage of him
And his family were i'll while the suit
was pending, so he could not attend tC
it, and there | had the advantage o
him again. But then Brown is a very
decent sort of man, after ALL" Eyes,
said the listener, "and that's where ht
had the advantage of YOU"
In reply to the question, "Will tn,
coming man be bald ?" the Norristowl
Herald affirms that che generally i
when he first comes"
One of the amusing anecdotes Gener
al Jubal Early's soldiers tell of him
that in 1864, when his military star be
gan to wane, and Sheridan defeate,
him again and again in the Valley
General Lee sent him as reinforcement
a battery via Lynchburg. Some wa
marked on one of the pieces, "Gener;i
Sheridan, care Jubal Early, Shenan
, doah Valley"
Yesterday ragged, shivering, mid
die aged man called at house on Sib
ley street and asked for food, but tn
: lady of the house called out "Wh
don't you work for your food2" @
would if l knew where l could fin
! work." he promptly replied. "There
| a place down town where you can say
wood and earn your dinner" she con
tinued. That seemed to stick him fo
/ half a minute, but he finally said, wit
D great solemnity: ''Madam, let me stat
a parallel case. There is place i
D Heaven for you, but you don't want t
h die till you are driven right to it." Sh
pondered over his philosophy for fe,
seconds and then called to the cook t
pass out half a loaf of bread and som
meat.-DetrOu Free Press.
The Boston Congregationalist has rt
| Gently sent out 100 circulars to differ
e ent ministers, asking their views upo
Y the subject of hell, and of the reptile
h received, sixty-three state that in til
: Judgment of the writers the doctrin
= still survives. Upon this, the Congre
y gationalist remarks: "We confess Oul
v selves agreeably surprised at these fis
G ureS. We were prepared to fear n muc