Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1878-11-21
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~ ~ (tlkSG xl(iIStOt
IAN the worlds STAGE but the fare
docs not suit everybody.
a contemporary says marriage is like an
electric ,nachine-it makes you dance, but
You can't let go.
Lawyers are never more earnest thar
when they work with will-:i.at is. il the
estate is valuable.
Beecl,er now says there may be hen.
but not permanent hell-just kind Of
resting place. you know.
The devil is the oldest tramp known. II,
i. always going to and from the earth, AMI
walking up anil down in it.
The man who gels up last in the morn
ing ought to make the best reporter, h.
cause he always gets the latest sDooze.
A bug bites the oyster. and 10! pear:
begins to grow. A hug bites hotel guest.
and 10! he leaps out ct bs. AMI wants t.
knock somebody's eyebrows of.
1t il reported that the first silver dollar
oined in the United States has been found.
1t is held by twenty-eight different Ameri-
cin citizens.
Said y friend to bookseller: 1.-The boob
trade is affected. I suppose. by the genera:
depression. What kind Of books feel Il
most?'' Pocket books" was the laconi:
reply.
Hint for young seamen: Whatever tE'
navigation books may tell you. the mos:
expeditions mode Of boxing the compass
is to pop it into your chest.
An e,litor with nine unm,rrietl ,lauS:.-
ters Was re,~n,ly made justly indignant b..
the construction his contemporaries pU;
upon his able leader The demand toi'
more men,"
Over bridge at Athens. GA. is the fol-
lowing: ANY person driving over this
bridge q: i faster pace than walk. shall
if white person, Ike fined five dollars. en-!
If negro. receive twenty-five lashes-l'ai;
the penalty to be bestowed on the it,
former"
Swartzmeycr to his wife: ''Now. SCI.
here. mine lof. better as you had Johnny
let le-t,e op Won dat candy eaten Older
der first thing you don't know, he hat
some tootl,ache in his teeth. unsi haf b~en
skwallin' around all night init der cholera
,morb,ls in his jaw; don't it!''
A man at a church fair who had a fifty
cent bowl Of oyster stew. suddenly rose in
excitement anil l,egan 10 phil ali his coat
and vest. ''Why do you do tl,at?'' asked
the pious frau-laiy who took the fifty
cents. "Why. great Eeavens!'; ;.s cried.
there is little oyster away down i'll there
and I'm going to dive in tor it,"
An exchange says camphor vii! drive
mosquitoes out ofa room. And so it will.
but you mist first catch the mosquitoes.
choke 'eIn till they ar. blarl, AMI blue in
the face. and then cra,m ~ lump Of caMphOr
down their throats. THIS remedy is more
trouble but less expensive than hnrnin.
down your house to get rii Of the pests.
"Anti-hic-f:,t. ehy' said the tired strans-
er. looking at the advertisement IN the
bil+bosrtls. rs he clunx to friendly lamp
post. "Anti-fat. eli: 'raint that nil. ME.
Anti-lean is-hic-what ! want And
with one more vigorous effort Ire pushed
the clinging lamp post away from him.
walked backwards across the street. aM.
fell over dray AMI half way up the side
Of y house. Hawkeve.
Astronomers tell us that if there was a
telcgraphic wire from the earth to tie
Nebul:e in A,lromcda. it would take l.25O.-
600 years tor dispatch from here 70 rexcll
its destination; AMI suppose tie rate was
40 cents. and you sent the message to I've
paid ut the end Of the line. how like I'll
eternity the interest would pile up On the
other fellow by the time the 10y handed
him the message. Figure up. some Of you.
How was the world matle:' is ,n.in.
discussed in :. scientific magazine. We
weren't there. hut We suppose they got al!
the subscriptions they could raise along
the survey, and then bonded the rest o, tie
work. and pushed it through, lxtor.. Mr.
Til.lcn could come along and steal it,
Hawkeye.
The son Of well known teetotaler { ncc
told an inqui,'iac Irie'i that '.e and bis
father had deuce ot time in the High
lands drinking whisky and water. ''What!'
sai'l his astonisll~.l friend, ''Yonr fatoc~
drink whisky anil watet.'' NO" said the
son. 1--WE drank it together. drank the
whisky and he drank the water
1t is given out that the ladies' will wear
vests precisely like the gentlen'sn's this
winter. When married man GOES TO led
he will have to put chalk msrk on his
vest. or next morning lie may slip on lis
wife's and not discover his mistake unit;
he inserts his thumb and foref;nger in his
right hand pocket for pinch Of fine cut
and tinds nothing hat piece of chewing
gum and the stub Of 4 short black lea;
pencil. Then he will suddenly reMem:~
that there WAS roll of ten-d0llAr grce,.-
backs in the left hand pocket OF his vest
that is. If he is an editor. lie will-anI !.c ,
will rush back home in Rar,,s time.
THE Widths BONES.
A Great Casiosity ~ Cologae.