Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1878-11-14
Mn,Hurous department.
HE LOVED CIDER.

and said:
"Has the State Inspector of Pathological
Juices inspected that cider yet ?"
IL guess not" replied the farmer, great
ly embarrassed in moment
II thought not" continued the thin voiced
man. "Well, sir, you can draw me full
glass"
The farmer drew one, scanning the man
with considerable anxiety, and when the Gin
spector" had received it, he held it up be-
tween his eye and the sun and said:
"The precipitation appears most too rapid,
while the floating particles denote unusual
compression. Perhaps q second glass will be
clearer"
He swallowed the contents of the glass at
exactly four gulps, and taking second glass
he critically examined it and said:
"Ah the precipitation is clearing away.
The cider seems to have been made from ap-
ples'' -,
ut was sir, and they were nice apples, too"
replied the farmer.
"Let's see how the third glass will look.
am not quite satisfied on the point of COM
preston"
He drained the second and received the
third, and as he slipped it he inquired:
"You used hand cider.press, didn't you !"
eyes, sir"
"Ah! thought SO. Worked with lever,
didn'tit?"
"Yes, sir"
"Did the mill stand in draught of air
while you were working itf'
"I-I don't know sir"
"Well, think it did. Be little more
careful after this. The Inspector of Pomolog-
ical Juices grades this barrel "A No. 2" but
if you take little more pains, you can in
crease the grade every time in the future.
All right, sir-go on with your selling"
The man had been gone ten minutes be-
fore any one mustered courage to remark that
he was fraud but the words fell upon stony
ground.
II know he's all right" persisted the farm
er. "The mint I saw him draw his coat
tail around to wipe out the corner of his
mouth, I knew he was big gun, and ! was
just shivering in my boots for fear he'd aak
me why didn't punch the seeds out of the
apples before grinding! Only FIVE cents
glass, now, and warranted pure"
A DocToR's ADvIcE.-Dr. "Charley" Jud.
kins, says the Cincinnati Saturday Night, is
one Of the most generous-hearted physicians
in the city, and he is one of the most skill
ful, but he does get tired occasionally of charg-
ing up accounts on his books that are never
settled. The other day stranger came to
him to be treated for rheumatism. He said
he had had it "off and on" for twelve years.
He hadn't any money, be said, but he expec-
ted some next week, and would call and pay.
you've had the rheumatism twelve years,
you say ?" asked the doctor. "Yes, twelve
long, weary years." "And you'll have some
money next week ?" eyes, sir, next week,
sure" "Well," returned the doctor, eff
you've had the rheumatism twelve years, l
reckon another week won't hurt you much.
Come next week, when you have the money"
The man never "got around"
The LAW OF NATURE.-A very rich old
man who married young wife died sudden
", upon which the widow raved like mani.
&C, and then exclaimed to the doctor, who
stood by the bedside of the departed, "Oh,
will not believe that my dear partner is dead
he could not die and leave me! No, no, he's
alive I'm sure he's alive Tell me, doctor,
don't you think sol? "Madam," replied the
medical man, with much gravity" 81 confess
that have the means by which he might be
revived. I will apply the galvanic battery"
"Oh no, mop cried the grief.strcken widow.
Hard as it is to bear my fate, will have no
experiment against the law Of nature. Let
him rest in peace"
bar Among the young ladies who sat at the
receipt of customs in Western church fair,
and retailed kisses at the nominal value of
ten cents each, was vinegar-visaged old maid,
who had crowded herselfin on the gauzy pre-
tence that she felt it her duty to do her share
toward helping along the good cause. When
it came time for closing, the young ladies
turned over to the church treasury from Eve
to ten dollars apiece, while the ancient female
handed in solitary dime, the value of one
kiss that she had received from blind man,
whose taste was so vitiated by tobacco chew.
ing, that he was unable to detect the imposi-
tion.-Danbury Nescs.
s9- A young girl discovered her young
brother out behind the shed the other day
pulling away at cigarette. "There, young
man p she exclaimed, as the cigarette hastily
disappeared behind the boys back: "Ill
tell your father on you-see if don't"
"Yes, tell him." retorted the brother, sudden
ly recovering HIMSELF "you tell i'm, an see
how quick that fellow O yourn I'll ship"
I'll tell father how you an m was sittin' on
the par1or sofa, an him huggin' you. You
lust 20 an tell, that's all ask" The sister
very discreetly withdrew while the young
statesman finished his smoke in tranquility.
How 1T WAs.-Benjam Franklin, being
in company once with three men who were
notorious liars, and wanting to experiment
little in human nature, promised to reward
the one who should tell him the greatest lie.
The first said he had never told lie; the
second averred that be could not tell one
the third candidate, however, proved himself
the best adept in the art, and obtained the
prize, for he assured the philosopher that
both of his competitors had just told him the
truth.
s9r "Manda, is you got dem chickens shut
up in de smoke-bouse, like told yer?" mo,
an like to know what's de matter wild you,
dat yous 80 mighty tickler bout dem chick
ems all at once? ?" "Nebber you mind
know what's de matter, and dat's nuff till
dem chickens is housed. When I hears dat
dem niggers ober dar in de next yard gwine
to had party tomorrow night, wants to
be shore dat my chickens doesn't tend it;
you hear me-? The chickens were at once
locked up.
n~A boy surprised his father the other
day by asking: "Father, do you like moth
err" "Why, yes, of course" "And she likes