The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-08-09
PEOPLE and Things.

of absolute power in eastern Europe
disrealIZed.
A French actress nearly persisted
of sleeping in a room filled with
stage bequets.
Queen Mercedes died in the same
room the king was born. 1t is to
remain just as she left it.
What rifles country postmistress
is to have postal card come to the
Office written in. French.-Puck.
Edgar Fawcett wishes that oman
could make love like a bird" He
does, Edgar, he does like a goose.
burlington Hawkeye.
George Macdonald. says: zone
thing is clear to me, that no indulg-
ence of passion destroys the spirit
ual nature so much as respectable
self1shness."
A Japanese student, newly arriv-
ed in this country, thought the peo-
pie here were all doctors, because
everybody took his hand and asked
after his health.
CAT last I rest" is the touching
eptaph carved, at his own request,
on the gravestone of Solari, the
Oldest clown of France and Italy,
who has just died at the age of
eighty-one.
A man whose knowledge is based
on actual experience says that when
calling on their sweethearts young
men should carry affection on their
hearts, perfection in their manners
and CONNECTION in their pockets.
At the depot the other day a
young man put his head out of the
car window to kiss his girl good
by, when the train pulled out so
rapidly that he kissed an old Afri-
can female at the next station
Jonesboro News.
Stranger Cat q country depot)-
"What o'clock is it boy2" Boy
"About twelve, SIR" Stranger
"Why, I thought it was more"
Boy-'1t never gets any more here
sir. 1t always begins at one again,
and goes right round"
Here is an extract from a little
boys first composition gwen
cats is a swearn' and q blasfemin'
and tryin' the cages of their steam
bilers in the back yard at mite it
makes Teller off1e Trade, if he isn't
sleepin' with his big brother"
A prominent physician living not
far from Erie, went several miles to
see sick person q short time since,
and found on reaching his destina-
ton that he had forgotten his medi-
cine case; but the patient died all
the same.-Neosho Co. Record.
An article is going the rounds of
the press descanting on attach
ments to Newspapers" Our obser-
Walton has been that the "attach-
ment" rarely holds, and when it
does the sheriff rarely finds any
thing worth holding.-Meriden Re-
corder.
How the snow f1iesl Icicles a
foot long hung from the caves this
morning. Observe the urchins
snow-balling on the street. Do you
see our teeth chatter, and see our
req noses (Frost did it, Now do
you not feel more comfortable af-
ter reading this paragraph ?-New
York Graphic.
A traveller interrogating back
woodsman, received brief but peril
nent answers, thus: Whose house
is this?' fMoggs'.' Of what built p
Logs ANY neighbors Frogs
what is the soil p 'Bogs.' THE
climate P. sFogs.' what de you
live on?' Hogs How do you
catch them?' Dogs
Kerney, the California agitator,
can Outcuss any man on earth. A
Tribune correspondent says: "The
three persons of the Trinity, in
every conceivable combination
with the neither regions and their
Inhabitants, garnish his. periods. In
fact, he treats the capitalists of CAL
ifornia exactly as he would his team
in q mndhoIe."
Edison has invented 8 machine
for condensing the noise of the ele-
waited railways of New York, rum
ming it down pipe to the Battery,
loading it On the sound steamboats,
and dumping it near marlborough,
VT. Great man, that Edison! The
marlborough people expect to can
the noise and sell it to fourth of
July celebrations. - Philadelphia
Bulletin.
Professor David Swing does not
believe in boys playing cards fur
lively in the wood-sbed or hay-loft.
No, it is not safe. There is no know
ing when the old man will come
bulgipg in with q raw-hide that
looks like Russian peace commits
sioner. A high and deserted attic
with locked door is the only safe
pIace.-Burlington HawkeYe.
The jokers that included q piece
of stained brick among geological
specimens" which they placed on the
desk of the professor as objects
worthy of his explanatory remarks
received the following reward:
Taking up one of the specimens, he
said: sThis is one of baryta from
the Chesire mines. This holding
up another, sis q piece Of feIdspar
from the Portland quarries. And
this" coming to the brick, els .
piece of impotence from some
member of the class"
When the Governor of Oregon
telegraphed to the secretary of war,
at the beginning Of the Indian out
break, that q tempOrary issue of arms
was necessary to- enable him to pro-
tect the settlers, he received an an
swer as follows: "You have more
than your quota of arins0 The
Governor, however, was equal to
the situation. He telegraphed in
reply: eve have more than orr
quota OF Indians. The required
arnas were thereupon at once issned.
|-ViFginis Chronicle.