The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1878-02-02
No Dust In Her Eyes.

ID 81 have called" said the agent, sit
ting down with an owlish kind of look,
upon the chair she had wiped off for
him with her apron, s'to bring to your
attention a work that is at the present
time eliciting more attention from the
thinking minds of both hemispheres
than any thing the printing-press has
sent forth in the last quarter OF q CEN
tury."
"Bless my life!" said the woman, 81
wouldn't a. b'lieved it! what have you
got, any howp"
"My dear madam continued the
agent, as he proceeded to unwrap a
package done up in oil-silk, while the
children gathered around him with
eyes full of curiosity, and the woman
left her wash-tub and stood before him
with arms akimbo; 81 have a few frag-
ments of a feast for the intellect that
you have probably felt the need of many
times''
"Indeed 1 have, sir. It's mighty hard
in these times for a woman with tri-
fling, shiftless husband to keep the pot
boiling for six children, and many's the
time we all go hungry"
"Really, madam, l fear you do not
exactly understand me"
"Oh, yes sir-you're talking, about
something to eat -
"No-no. Its mental food refer to.
Something to strengthen and inyigorate
the expanding intellect"
at guess we don't need any o that
here" said the woman, poking down
the clothes to keep the suds from boiling
out over the stove. "But if yon hao a
brought along side o. bacon, or peck
o. beans, they would a been mighty ac-
ceptable, and even a small sack o. flour
wouldn't a. been sneezed at"
"Yes, yes, my good woman," con-
tinued the agent, unabashed, "certain-
ly, those things are well enough in their
way; but do you never feel the need of
something to stimulate the mind? some
thing to lift it far above the groveling
pursuits of everyday life and make it
soar high beyond the cares Of
els it some sort of fiying-machine
you've got?"
"No-no. am selling an encyclo-
pedia in monthly parts"
"Mercy on us! And what good is the
machine till you get it all put together?"
cit is not a machine, my good wom-
an, it is book A book, mum, that
will tell you all about every thing under
the sum-
"Tell me every thingp" and the
woman scratched her head, and boxed
a youngster who was climbing up on
the mans lap.
Carbohydrates what it will do, and
never miss. It's a whole library in
ITSELF"
"Well, then, want to know where
my old man was all the blessed live
long night till three o'clock this morn
ing, and where he got the money to buy
the whisky he got drunk on. Show me
that, and if there's any pictures, let me
see'em," said the woman, beginning to
feel an interest in the work.
"You misunderstood me altogether,
responded the agent, with an uncom-
Portable air; 81 mean to say 1t will give
you information-''
swell, that's just what I'm AFTER"
cut in the woman. ssGive it to me.
Where was the old soakerp'
"It's not that kind of infOrmation-no
book could give you that-but any thing
in the scientific orr
sect out with you-go to grass with
your scientific nOnsense-tha amt
what I'm working my finger-ends off
for. What 1 want is potatoes, coal,
pork, flour, or something else to keep
body and soul together. So you might
as well mosey on and try your luck some
where else, stranger; you've struck the
wrong house."
''But, my dear madam, hear me out.
This a compendium"
"Go way with you. l don't care if
it's Observation-Disclosures won't
pay house-rent nor save soap"
"It's the quintessence of all human
knowledge"
"That won't keep the children in
shoes and clothes, nor make man
swear off and stick to it,
can epitome Of
"Clear out with you. 1t can't butter
slice Of bread, nor doctor up a sick
child. So you can just pack it up and
vamoose. I've got a two-week's wash
on hand for Mrs. Hazlerig that's got to
be done before bite to eat comes into
this house, and l amt got no time to
stand here listening to your high-sound-
ing CAB. There amt no dust in my
eyes, and you'd better climb if you
know when it's healthy
He took the hint and departed. Gin
cinmati Breakfast Table.