The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-05-04
VARIETIES,
Bill bored-A woodpecker's nest.

"her" daddy.
White lace is still the rage for trim
ming ladies' throats.
Girls are partial tofarmers, because
they are all husbandmen.
Tuscaloosa Gala. cotton mills make
5000 yards of cloth day.
Peter Cooper only owns up to S.
100000, but he is quite contented.
-Oleomargarine is cutting deeply
into butter sales in New York.
The softer and flufflier a summer
dress is the more it youthens you.
The most dexterous pickpockets in
New York at present are women.
Medicinal boots, whatever they
are, are advertise in New Haven.
True friendship grows stronger with
age. The same remark applies to but
ter
Mrs. Runkle declares against the
use of the word limb where leg is
meant.
"Ho! for the Westr' says Pitts
burgh paper. Yes! and it's hoe after
you get there.
The smell of camphor about the
house indicates settled belief in settled
warm weather.
The firm of Leonardo & Co., Biz
mingham, England, manufacture l 900
different kinds of pens.
--Tennyson got 81 800 for that idiotic
ballad about the Revenge and her en-
counter with the Spanish fleet
"A young lady in Marshalltown,
Iowa, teaches dancing school, and her
most promising pupils are young men.
An Illinois grave-digger, who buried
a man named Button, sent his widow
the following bill: ITO making one
button-hole, S2.5
Two brothers and sister of one
family in Lexington, KY, within year
have married two sisters and brother
of another family.
-Ritualism hath a pronunciation
The London Truth accuses a clergyman
of giving out the text: . He that hath
yaws to yaw, let him yawr'
A man is never so emphatically
embraced by the spirit of economy as
when the church contribution-boxs tares
him in the face.-FULt0a1 Times.
Prices are not so very much down.
The sleeping-car porter is still blacking
boots for twenty-five cents pair, and
making no charge for his society.
The legend runs that St. Louis
directory man never ventures to pass
through Chicago. He always gets out
of the cars and walks around it.
1t is suggested that one reason why
so many marriages turn out unhappily
is because the bridegroom is not al
ways the - best man. at the wedding.
-Kimball, the great raiser of church
debts, is citizen of Chicago. If KIM
ball can raise the debt of Chicago, i'm
mortality crowns his laureled brow as
a tinancier.
"A sailing car is used for pleasure
on the Kansas Pacific Railroad. 1t is
sloop-rigged, has four wheels, and will
run forty miles an hour when the wind
is favorable.
The Bucks County (Pa.) InteM-
gencer says it would be a reproach to
American women if they couldn't make
better Legislature than that now sit
ting at Harrisburg.
Prof. Cunning says that after a
million years glaciers will cover Ohio.
Then, as now, we suppose everybody
out there will be trying to get office.
N. Y. Commercial
Sunday ends in San Francisco at
twelve m. The law permits all public
amusements there on Sunday after
Moons, and the Frisco people call Sun
day evening sermons lectures.
Somebody estimates that every man
who lives to be sixty years old has
spent seven months buttoning his shirt
collar. Thirty more years should be
added for hunting up the collar button
Was it ever subject of wonder to
you why those persons who have the
most desirable boxes in the Postoffice
never give them up, nor die, nor move
away, nor break up, nor do anything?
The man who thought he heard the
cry of an infant in distress and found it
was only the wall of musical cat is
now called Jonah-because he was
"taken i'm by wall. -HackenSack Re-
publican.
-" What is the meaning of back
biterP' asked a gentleman at Sun
day-school examination. This was a
puzzler. 1t went down the class until it
came to a simple urchin, who said
perhaps it is a flea"
How far charity extendeth her
wings. The Good Templars of st.
John, New Brunswick, have Just re-
ceived a donation of $40 from South
Africa for the relief of the sufferers by
the great fire last year.
1.-Two Years Behind the Plow'' has
just been published in Philadelphia. 1t
is narrowing story.-N. Y. CONNER
ctaI. o no, not as burrows we've read
it.-Norristo,0V Herald. Indeed, no; it s
a very clevis story. -H0aOk-Eye.
The umbrella is the Lent article.
In real estate raffles they draw lots.
MINIS meat is silver just at present.
The sting of bee makes one bee
leaver. Animals lick each other from
affection; men from hate. WASHINGTON
Capital.
The New York Star editorially an
nounces that " Strawberries, the COM
ing season, are expected to be of an es-
pecially fine flavor, owing to the pres
ence of a microscopic parasite said to
npGSase ran, "a .k n b1,r a,op,otio ,,r,.,,o,.