The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-11-21
SUNBEAMS,
Motto for the married. Never dIspair.

talked of AngIe-SaKoa race is to come
OF.
Fashionable mother-'M Maria, I'm al
most discouraged; how many times
have told you not to say tater, but per-
tater?"
An Irishman recently expressed his ad-
miration for lady by tie following re-
mark: 81 wisAt l was in prison for the
staliug ov ye."
She was plump and beautiful, and he
was wildly fond OF her; she hated him,
but, womanlike, she stroye to catch linn.
He was flea.
Proposals for marriage in Nevada are
written on postal cards and the answer
comes by return mail, "Coms on with
| your preacher"
The difference between ladies and ducks
if there is any diference-is that Ia
dies are often dressed to kill, while ducks
are killed to dress
In an exchange we find an article about
q mother-in-law, and i'll beautiful harmony
the next item is headed, 1.-The Storm
Elsewhere"
"They all tell me old Skinfint is losing
lis sight" "Put up job; he's going blind
to save his dog tax. Blind mems poodles
are exempt you know"
A tramp, on seeing q sign which read,
'"To Louisville without change" wondered
if he would be any better off in that city
without change than where lie was.
When bridegroom finds all the clothes
he owns in the world hung one over the
other on q hook behind the pantry, he
realizes for the first time that the honey
moon is over.
There is a fortune in store for the gen.
ius who can invent a way of carrying home
mackerel SO that it will resemble parcel
containing twsnty-six yards of silk for his
wife.
Somehow or other those grand legacies
which were being left to waiter girls, jour-
neymen brick-layers, and poor inventors
last year, haven't panned out two cents on
the dollar.
A scientist says that angle-worms do not
suffer when put on a hook. They wriggle
around out of pure joy, we surpose, the
same us a man does when o good-looking
woman steps on lis corns.
One Of those wise men who knows every
thing declares that i'll the course of two or
three generations American women will he
taller than the men. They look down on
men pretty well now.
"And they were all talking so unkindly
of you, dearest Louisa, and" And
what were they saying?" Saying that
you painted your face; and l told them
that it was untrue, and that your color WAS
only erysipelas."
1t would make stone image turn green
with envy to observe the expression of
profound abstraction that settles down on
the the face of worshipper when the con-
tribution basket gets within about three
pews of him.-BurIinyton Hapkeye.
A Louisiana farmer set spring gun in
his corntield to make short work of bear
that Infested the locality, and then pulled
the wire to see if the machine worked.
| The buckshot missed him, but the small
shot made his face srmble the top of "a
pepper box
An honest Hibernian, trun1ling hand
cart containing all his movables, was ac-
costed by "a friend with: "Well, Patrick
you are moving again, I see." Faith, |
am, replied he. The times are SO hard,
it's dale cheaper hiring handcArt than
paying rints'"
1t is better not to ask too many questions
about the future. curious husband
that is q husband who was toe curious
asked his wife, MY dear, what kind of a
stone do you think they will give me when
/ am gone" She answered, coolIy,
birthstone, john"
A woman will carry pocket -handker-
chief till she loses it. She regards it rs an
ornament, If the baby's nose is to be de-
pleted, or her own black silk to he busted,
or if the silver is to be cleaned, she always
borrows her husbands handkerchief. st.
Louis Journal,
The young man who had been giving
his views about everything to everybody
| for an unenuuruDle ualI rour, Wien tue
old man said, with nice courtesy, II beg
your pardon, sir, but if you begin teaching
everybody at eighteen, when do you intend
to begin learning anything?"
No man can 60 down into the dungeon
of his inexperience and hold the torch of
truth to all the dark chambers and hidden
cavities, and not come up with snudder
and u chill as he thinks of the time when
he undertook to talk politics with the deaf
old father of his first sweetheart willie
the girl is present.
A Brooklyn woman's husband tried to
hang himself the other day, but was cut
down by an officer and tuken to the police
station. Next morning, after the Court
discharged him with caution as to what
lie might expect if he tried it again, hia
wife said: "Your Honor, will you have
the police give me back that clothes-line r
It was maintained by the famous chem
list Leblg that drunkenness could be cured
by change of food. A Leipzig woman
whom be had advised to try it i'll the case
of her husband, confirmed sot, came tc
see him q week later. "How did it workr