davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-03-28
How a Woman BUYS Meat.

There is so much of " human nature in
the following, that we doubt not many Of
our fair readers will gently smile, if not
" laugh right out" as they read it:
When woman enters butcher-shopt to
select piece of meat for dinner she has
her mind made up to take mutton roast
Therefore, when the butcher rubs his
hands, and asks what she will have
she promptly replies: i,
"I'll take some of that NUT"
She stops there. Her eye has caught
sight of ham, and she suddenly decides to
take ham.
Best ham ever saw, madam; how
much?"
"Well, you may give me three p
Well, l don't know, either. My husband
was saying he'd like some sausage"
6 Plenty, madam, Now, then how
much will you have?"
ats pork sausage, is itg''
" Yes ma'am."
"Well, suppose pound would be
enough for our small family ;but--but +"
"Shall weigh pound, MADAME"
II was wondering if a veal pot-pie
wouldn't suit him BETTER" she answered,
'sYou have veal, supposed"
80, yes, madam; here's a splendid bit
of veal, as good piece as l ever saw"
Eyes that does look like veal, she says
lifting it up.
''And you'll take it"
'Let's see,' she muses., "Y-no, Iguess
not. I'd better take pork chops"
"Nice chops-how much2" he asks.
'One of those slices will weigh a%pound,
supposed"
about pound, madam"
"And it was young hog?"
"Quite youngish, madam
''And you cut the rind off,
ayes, madam"
"Well," she says, hcaving a deep sigh,
Il guess you may give me some beefsteak
some that's nice, and be sure and cut
all the bone outw
And she's only been half an hour COM
ing to the point
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-03-28

The Greatest Discovery Of the Age is DIR
Tobias celebrated Venetian Liniment so befort
the public and warranted to Diarrhea, Dysentery
Coic and Spasms taken internally and Group Chronic
Rheumatism Sore Threats. Cuts. Bruises, Old Sores
and Pains in the Limbs, Back and Chest externally
1t has rever failed. No family will ever be without
after once giving 1t fair trial. Price, 40 cents. DIR
TOBIAS VENETIAN HORSE IMMINENT. In Pint
Bottles at One Dollar is warranted superior to an,
other or NO PAY, for the of Collie, Cuts Bruises
Old Sores, etc. Sold by all Druggists Depot-IO Parl
Place. New York.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-03-28
Peculiar people.

Old bachelors who never smoke.
People who will suffer from chronic indI-
gestion, constipation, and torpid liver, or soii,
isusness,p when DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical
Discovery and Pleasant Purgative Pellets are
known to be reliable and speedy remedies for
these diseases.
Old maids who do not love cats.
People who have catarTh, annoying and
disgusting every one around them, when DR..
Sage,s Catarrh Remedy is known 10 be po-
tent remedy for this disease.
Women who do not love babies.
Women who viii suffer from all those palii-
full diseases To which the ser is heir, when Or.
Pieree's Favorite Prescription is admitted by
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-03-28

The American export trade is assuming
large proportions with each succeeding
month, and is destined TO set our finant
ciai matters all right in spite of the Con-
gressional wranglers. Among the piano
exports to Europe and the South Amer
lean States the popular firm of Geo.
Steck & Co, of New York, figures -aTge-
ly. because their instruments have gained
the .eputation of standing the most
severe climate better than those of their
councillors.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-03-28

Mothers. Mothers!! Mothers!!i Don't
fail to procure Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup
for all diseases incident to the period OF teeth
ing In children. 1t relieves the child from
pain, cures wind collie, regulates the bowels,
and, by giving relief and health to the child,
gives rest to the mother. 1t is an old and
well tried remedy
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-03-28


At this of the the human system is liable
dsordered from the Intellectual efforts of tht
liver to discharge the of bile If nature is
assisted in her efforts bi ious attacks
rating fevers necessisay follow causing great suffer
ing and even death. little timely precautioD hJw
ever will prevent all this, and may be found In thai
favorite household remedy,
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-03-28
CHEW
The Celebrated
"Matehless
Wood Tag Plug
TOBACCO.
TIE PIONEER ToBACCo COMPANY,
New York, Boston and Chicago.

There's no use Talking.
About the adulterated, cheap baking powders
in comparison with DooLEY's YEAST POWDER.
The latter is strictly pure, wholesome, and is
put up full weight. Satisfactory results in
using are guaranteed every time.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-03-28

More than three-quarters of a century has
elapsed since Johnson's Anodyne Liniment
was invented. and it is day the most widely
known as well as the most valuable internal
and external remedy in the world. No family
should be without it day.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-03-28

1t is said by reliable persons that Sheridan's
Cavalry Condition Powders fed sparingly to
laying hens will increase the quantity of eggs
two-fold. Try it, 1t won't cost much.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-03-28
7IilI0Izz7;y

Very few escape this affection. The symptoms
are dizziness; sick headache; costiyeness; belch-
ing mp of food loss Of appete aversion to exertion
Of body or mind highly colored urine, heartburn,
cold extremities and low spirits.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-03-28
fZLI8IIIIE1lIE]

Ten years have proven their efficacy in all hillary
disorders. They restore the liver, stomach and
kidneys to heathful action; give appetite, good d.
gestion and yigor to body and mind.
Rev. n. /. Simpson, Louisville, KY, says:
" TUFTS Pills are scorth their freight in
gOld.o
Sayre & Co., Druggists say: " We sell fry
bo1es TUFTS Pills to five of all ofhers.''
Price, rs cents. Office IS Murray St., New York.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-03-28

"James H. Baker" Corresponding Secretary
Zetogathean Society,""
The Red Cloud chief., 1878-01-24
The Narrowest Railroad Ever knorn.

The new railroad from Bedford .,
Billerica enjoys the ~di-,inrti"n If ha,
ing the narrowed guage of ans railroad
IN IN" world two feet. The cAf- -rt
very low ON the trucks. are fpr'y fe~'
IN length. sin feet two inches out.ite.
width, with walls THREE inches thiet.
leaving n total inside width II h.r fes;
eight inches. The engine - a model -
-compactD"s- and u a snri "a douhl.
tender. saving the use 81 a tarn table
After n trip over this road one maryrls
nj the .rDoothne-- with which the tram
passes over III. ninety diIf"r.u, grab.
IN tn. s s3-io miles If roadbad io ifr
terminus nj North BiIl~rira
All trains are equipped with The MILF
platform and brake. and tha~
rolling stock At present consists - two
two passenger. two ob>"ry-
afior. six fat ears and one bor car.
r locomotives. with coal and water
men. weigh twely. IONS zach. the
Passenger cars four and one half tons.
tn. cost IF the am. Wa respective
~ $3.50 and s2.D1 each The rosd
about $1,000 all equipped. and
the capital stock II the cOrporaiioR.
81 which st2.Do has h~sn,1 !
in IL costs els 4 day to run its trains. :
.Bostou GiObs.
The Red Cloud chief., 1878-01-24
Country Cousins Come Ia Town.

A farmers wagon. in which were
seated a family Of eight. drove up. YES
terday. tO a house on Beanbirn street.
and leaving his team on the curb-ione
the farmer Knocked on the door. drum
med on the windows. and seemed deter
mined TO get in At every hazard When
all efforts had failed he returned To tn.
wagon. hitched his horses. and sat down
on the grass tO wait. a lad who had
watched the performance passed round
the orn and suddenly discovered the
boy whose parents lived in the house.
"Here-you-there's n whole family
trying To get into your house" be
shouted.
"Hush-shut up" whispered the boy
addressed.
But they are visitors" continued the
"Don't1 know all about IT," whisper
ed the hiding boy. didn't mann and I
zee 'em drive up. and didn't W.. 5000, u
the back door a. the Teller came in the
kate? I'm here and mans over in tina,
house. and we feel like some one ougb,
10 boot dad all I'VE town"
why? what did your father do9"
What did he do? Why, be- VA on,
in the country buying butter and egg
and he stopped at a farmhouse. made
EN- believe he was q distant r-lashun.
and got his dinner for nothing. He
home and told it a. a big Joke.
md he grinned around for . week. but
] want To ace him when he pme up
dinner and finds them .reIa.huns' ali
around the gate. Do they show
my signs Of ~leavings"
Mary sign" replied the other n he
che fence.
Well. let EN- stick. Nam won,
ONE home: I'll be gone. and if this
urns out q Black Friday for dad i'm
erve him right Let's go where We can
re his knees wobble as he turns the
orner and sees his distant relsshnns
overing half an acre VI ground-"-D.-
rot Free Press.
The Red Cloud chief., 1878-01-24
The Recentri~ Ms. Thsmp-sr.

The Miss Thompson. Of America.
who was described a. having electrified
Edinburg by ordering for her MARI I
act Ut shoes u solid gold. ha- hsen idsn-
tined by h Niagara Falls Gazsn, a. n
eccentric guest las, summer II the Css-
araet House. She never registered her
narne and repealed all social adyanc..
Her bills were paid promptly. usually
IN 80 gold pieces. which an. al~o. 81
the tins. 81 her departure. layish.d up
b attendants If th. hotel. IN.
would leave the hotel without znnDunc--<
m.nt and b. ab.~n, several dsys. AMI
upon returning seek her room a. though
she had only been out for a short yak
In nnmberls-s other WAYS she eyincsd
a mind decidedly peculiar. She had n
Taiuabie mare with her. which sh. ~as
IN The habit of riding. usually With a
groom on foot "a lead the animal While
apartments NJ the Cataract
The lady left one day as usual. and
days after the p~ropne;ors ~
'eived \ telegram from Bristol. Eng
and. from their eccentric guest. request
Ing special care for the mare until she
return Weeks after she returned
remained q short time; then gam
her departure for Scotland. taking
,er mare with her. and also one II the
'orters NJ the hotel To take care If the
Inimal on the way.
The Red Cloud chief., 1878-01-24
What Washington Didn't Know.

We don't like To be irreverent. but
would like 10 ask. What did our fore
fathers know? What. for instance, did
George Washington know? He never
saw a steamboat; he never saw "A fast
mail train; he held his ear to "A
telephone; he never sat for his picture,
in a photograph gallery; he never re-
ceIved a telegraph dispatch: he never
sighted Il krupp gun; he never listened
to the ''fizz' Of an electric pen; he ncy-
er saw a pretty girl run a sewing ma
chine; he never saw a self-prop.lling
engine go down the street Ia a fire: he
never heard Of evOlution: he never took
laughing gas; he never had "A Sc, OF
store teeth; he never attended An inter
national exposition; he never owned a
bonanza mine: he never knew ..Old
frob;' he-but why 90 ON? No; when
he took an excursion ii was on n fiat
boat. hen he went off on a train IL
was a mule train. When he wanted to
talk with a man in Milwaukee he had Ia
60 there. When he had his picture, ia
ken it was done in profile with a piece
Of black paper and a pair of shears.
When he got the returns from back
counties, they had to be brought in by
a man with an OK cart. When he took
aim at the enemy he had To trust to n
croOked-barreled old flint lock. When
he wrote it was with a goose quill.
When he had anything to mend his
grandmother did il with a darning nee
die. When he went To a fire he stood
in line and passed buckets. When h.
looked at q clam he never dreamed il
was any relation of his. When he went
to a concert he heard 8 cracked fiddle !
and an insane clarionet. When he had
a tooth pulled he sat down and never
left of yelling. When he got out Of
teeth he mummed his victuals. When
he wanted an international show he sent
for Lafayette and ordered his friends up
from Old Virginia with the specimen
carefully labeled in bottles. When he
once got hold of q nugget of gold from
an Indian chief he felt rich. When he
wanted to know anything about the
weather he consulted the ground
hog OF goOse-bOne. When-but why 90
on? What did such q man know? Who
he, anyway Washington Unton.
The Red Cloud chief., 1878-01-24
THEvENCs OFEIlA.

Years triumphant, 80 serene and tender.
In thy cain after bloom Of life and love,
More fair than when 81 old thy sra borne spI.ndor
Surprised the senses OF %Olympian Jove:
Not these the lips. that kindiing into kisses.
Poured subtitle heats through Adon's IsnguId
frame.
Ra'ned on hs suilcn lips their warm carrsscs.
Thrilled TO his heart and turned i,s frost to fame.
Thy soul. transcending passions Wild illusion.
Its fantasy and fever and unreast,
Broods tenderly In thoughts deyou, s~eclu.,on.
Ger some lost love dream lingering In thy breast
Thy face seems touched with pity for the anguish
OF earth's dfsconsolate and lonely hearts:
For all the lorn and lovelcss live, that Isngulsh
In solitary homes and sOrdid marts;
With pity for the faithlessness and feigning.
The vain repentance and the long regret.
The perfumed lamps in lonely chamber waning
The untouched fruits on golden salvers set;
With pity for the patient watchers yesrninu
Through giimnering easement over midnight,
moors.
Thrilled by the echo Of far feet returning
Through the blank darkness OF the empty doors:
With sOrrow for the coy. sweet buds thst cheyt.b
In virgin pride loves luxury % gloom,
And in their fair unfolded beauty perish.
Fading like flowers that know not how 10 bl,om.
With sorrow for the overblown pale roses
That Yield their fragrance to the wandering afr;
For all the penalties that life imposes
On passions dream, on loves divine despsir.
The Red Cloud chief., 1878-01-24
AsecAste q p. z. spinner.
He Meets o1ls Match asO<ss~r.
Writing.

One day. . short time after the late
| unp~leasantness terminated. the csrrr<
| ponding clerk Of General r. T. spinner.
| then United States TREASURER. entered
the sancsum Of that cfic-r and quietly
laid = letter and enclosure h-for- him.
The old nan took i; up snd looked n; i'
and began To look savage n h. noticed
the enclosure Was \ Confederate note.
He next read the letter. which Ma a
very courteous episfl. from = Southern
mar not vet reconstructed. who stated
that inAsmuch as the United States had
succeeded Ia the assets IT Oh. Conf-i-
erscy, he presumed there would bc no
objection 70 assuming its liabilities. and
closed by requesting the treasury To
cash the note.
Spinner laid the letter down g-nily.
and leaning back in his chair. began TAI
think il over and get mad The pro-
cess was rapid and the success brillian,
beyond precedent He fairly roared AT
the cool impudence Of the letter. and
after ~discharging = number Of vigoron.
and far from pious denunciafions nj TN,
head Of the ex-rebel, he turned to the
clerk and said: Tell the man tai 60 Ia
h-lr'
The obedient scribe accordingly ~
piled. re-enclosing the note. and stating
that the power which had called the
~Confederacy and its paper money into
existence having returned ,o the place
Of its inception. to-wit: the internal re-
gions. the Treasurer recommended him
o have it cashed there. and tai pre,.n,
ii in person!
The reply pleased the General pro-
digiously. and he chuckled heartily over
il for weeks, thinking he had extin-
guished the S%outhener.
But one day another letter Was re-
ceived from the man. who apologiscd
for not answering the Generals letter
sooner, but explained that the delay had
been caused by the length Of the jour
ney he had recently undertaken nj the
instance of the Treasurer. He then pro
ceeded to state that, in accordance with
the suggestions made. he had travelled
to the dwelling place Of .aOld Nick"
and had actually had an interview with
him. He described the sulphurous de-
ity as q rather affable. bald headed old
cuss. and said that on presenting the
Confederate note. and Spinner's letter
TO his host. the old fellow glanced AT il.
and turning to q clerk. said. here. paw
this man his money. | know Spinner
well enough; this endorsement is good
enough for me-" and turning Ia his
guest he continued: just tell Spinner
I'll take his endorsement for any amount
he signs for"
This letter WAS shown the old man.
read it. and found speech made
quate to fifty express his views; bu, he
thought until the skating park on the
top of his head got purple. When he
sufficiently to command Ian
guage. he turned To his corresponding
clerk and said. while n bland smile ra-
dated his face. communicating a rose
ate glow to his entire ~countenadce:
"Mr. C. ] think this a good time
drop the cOrrespondencc.'-Er.
The Red Cloud chief., 1878-01-24

communicating With The sh0r~. th-v
-cr- specially rsrSimnninss in tie ne
Som~ sailors. cnn~.~Iusntl'. h~Csr ~
drink a., ~.'~r. hu, were scon Obliged
,o ie,vs !, vi tns man only rr~~-
v~r~si until the hin arrived ~ Nsstrr.
when !, "a. r~yi~tul~f With srrsh
~si.r. hrcurhi =; = gr~s, .,r~n.~ 'rpsn
Havana This man rrv-r ~~rtunlsin"-i
IL the s-- w,'-r the nniv d'~~r~r~~
rrmsrkest N him v,s thu, b. l-~an~
more and NOR. yellow
The Red Cloud chief., 1878-01-24
Salt q { Drinkers.

A foreign medical Journal prints the
following Of ..l,-w.fer dr;nk-
ers. taken from an ,ccoun, ~ vo,.,e
to the Oceanic Jsjands nv M .Jon:n
ship's captain. and senf bv him ,o !.
medical man NJ C.en Thee r.m.,t-
.bIe neonle .re mot nth o. ,hs m.d
reporic atolIs of the Pacific. sncb AZ the
p.uuc,or T.S.,d. - Ia-s.
neither brooL. nor .nr;nos md 81.
the wells which have hem dno r;eid
onlv hr,ck;.h v.ter \ r.c:,;on
3. limited 20 !. To- o.n,. -. -
which the mill. With sea v.ser con.,;.
tutes the onlv dr;nk n the r.s;rs- T,
il = ouest;o, bov men can Ev. vhen
us;ng /. l;nn;d If vh;ch All
The Red Cloud chief., 1878-01-24

Miss Thomson, Of the United
States" has electrified Edinburx - ordering
Mesra Marshall q Long. j~.el~r. II that
good city. 10 make a -i Of golden hor~e.ho~s.
co-ting about tl-0O. for . mare belonging To
her, The animal, says the London Tsn>s, vs
duly shoi In the precious metal II the smi,hy
Of Processes Baird, veterinary suryeon, 81
James palsee- The shoes arc II the ordinary
size and shape, and the nails Of which they
we're fixed are also u gold
The Red Cloud chief., 1878-01-24

'ls n possible that Mr.. Godfrey b M and at
work, and cured by 60 simple . remedyro
II assure you II Il true that he + entirely
cured, and With nothing but Hop Bitten, and
only ten days ego his dOctors gave him up and
said he must der
"WelEaday! II that is %, / Vim 70 this
minute and get some for nv poor George I
know hOpsare good"
The Red Cloud chief., 1878-01-24

The Acknowledgements Of Pennsyivania
estimates tia; the July 1oss cost the State up
wards Of ao.a Amnng the expenditures
IL $1,000. which the Reading ,ilrusd charges
for carrying troops to save the railroads. props
erty- Other railroads VIII present bills Of The
same character.
The Red Cloud chief., 1878-01-24

A generous nation is grateful even for
the preservation of its rights, and will
ingiy extends the respect due to the Of
nee OF q good prince into an affection
for his person.Jqniusl
The Red Cloud chief., 1878-01-24

Have you any nice. fresh farmers
eggsT' inquired a precise old lady Al .
grocery store, yesterday. No. mad
am" replied the practical clerk. but
we have some very good hens eggs"
She took three To Try.
The Red Cloud chief., 1878-01-24

The man who will steal an umbrella
will dO-wel, what half the world has
done q score of times,
The Red Cloud chief., 1878-01-24

TWO fOlkS love each other, they make
their laws, is what / think. What's
right to them is right, and what's wrong
is wrong; but this man, your husband,
ID toss him over, as in rough weather
we We tossed overheard far more pre-
cious cargo to save the ship. l am not
men call pious, either. / don't live
different on Sundays to what / do other
days, and I'm not particular about 90
ing to church when I'm ashore, but I'm
a bit superstitious. l believe in q God,
and If your oath meant anything, it
meant everything. If you'd made q
blunder. married this man loving me
all the time. and just said. simple and
childlike. Mark, l am sorry; forgive
me- I'd have taken you back to nv
heart, and thought nothing hard of you.
But We can't get away from this oath.
What sort of God would He be who
would let His name be taken and sworn
by just to make a fine sound? No, we
can't escape ii. Don't you know that
We can't? Wasn't it for this, Just to
meet you here, that the ship came back
three months before she was due? Do
Just as l tell yOu;' and he would have
taken her in his arms again, but lust at |
that moment the door opened. and Old
worth came in.
~ told you | should be ten minutes"
ne said, land l have been twelve. Come
Mary: your o is ready. Wish your
friend good night"
cit strikes me-" observed Mark, s.she |
is not as anxious for hat as you would
have her. You've come back too soon;
we haven't done our talk yet. We've a
fancy to finish it on the shore"
"A fancy which you must most GER
resign" replied Mr.. Oldworth,
forcing a smile, though he was pale as !
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-02-16
LATEST LOCAL.

AN inquest will be held on the body Of
John Joseph Mccain Monday morning
THE testimony i'll the Minnie Mchle abor-
ton case was still in progress this after
noon before Judge Cox.
A HUNrISG-cAsE silver watch and chain
was stolen last night from the boarding
house at No. l10 West Sixth street
SYLVESTER HAND g. Co., manufacturers Of
ranges, CRATES, &c, at 259 to 275 West Fifth
street, near Plum, made an assignment to-
day, in favor OF their creditors, 10 Marccilss
b. Hagans
THE Knights of st. Martin under COM
mand of Captain Hehenan. attended tho
funeral services ut Holy Trinity Church in
memory OF Pope Plus TX this morning. The
services were held by Rev Albrink.
THE medical staff Of the Cincinnati Hos
ptal will meet tonight for the election n
seven resident physicians for the ensuing
year. They are TO be selected from the grad0-
ating classes OF the different medical col-
leges of the city.
TEE Chamber of Commerce has appointed
Geo. w. Hailman, Jacob Reese and WA
Frew as delegates 10 represent the Cincill-
natl Chamber in the forthcoming Couyeu-
ton at Washington to further the interests
of merchants Of the United States in their
exchanges OF trade with these Of foreign
countries.
The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-02-16
Seria4RH Accident.

About o'clock this morning Eaientino
Fisher, carpenter about fifty years old.
was engaged in fixing roof at No. Do
Moore street, near Liberty. He ieaDcd a
ladder against post to get on the ruDf
when the rotten concern snapped in twain
and pitched Fisher upon his head into tho
neighboring yard.
The man struck upon his head and frao-
tured his skull. He also sustained serious
injuries about the hip and spine. 1t is al
most certainty that he will not recover
He was picked up and taken into his horns
near by. DR.. Stitch, the family physician.
was called and attended to the mans in
ilrieS