Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1878-06-07
Bashful People.
Harner'S BaZar.

| VI luOSC WdoUcS dHu DuTucuS VI lie
which we call minor miseries, bashful-
ness is conspicuous evil. The bashful
man forever runs a gauntlet of ingen-
ious public torture. He is endued with
sixth sense of suffering. Arrows OF
sarcasm never aimed at him find every
joint IN his harness. Blows of criticism
meant for some antipodean fall on his
defenceless head. Fires of condemna-
tion lighted for far-away offenders
scorch him to the quick.
For it is true, as the witty "Autocrat'
declares, that bashfulness is vanity
turned wrong side out. 1t is not lack
of sufficient self -conceit, but of due self
esteem. 1t is not an under-valuation of
one S quality, but an uneasy fear of 9TH
ers' differentiation. The bashful man
who, in the horse-car, stumbles over his
neighbor's feet, upscts the adjacent
children, knocks down all the umbrellas
within his radius, and hides his confu-
sion behind his morning paper, is so
large figure in his own horizon that he
is persuaded the world is looking on at
him with disapproving eyes; whereas
his existence is forgotten by preoc-
cupied public the instant order is re-
stored.
The woman whose uneasy color deep
ems if stray glance rests perceptible
instant on her puffs, or her toilet, or her
packages, falls instantly to an anxious
reviewing of her possible excentricities
of dress, or manner, or style. Her van
ity is alarmed, not fattered, but none
the less is the keen sentinel on her
watch-towers vanity and not modesty.
She so fills her own consciousness that
she can not conceive Of herself as alb
sent from the consciousness of her fel-
lows. And so weary a cOmpaniOnship is
this constant presence of self that the
victim becomes morbid, sees neglect
where none is shown, detects sights
where only consideration exists, or even
falls into moods of self -distrust that are
apt to kill all effort.
Often, indeed. shyness does not thus
deform the whole character, and very
worthy persons are to be found in the
list of the bashful But these unfortu-
mates are usually those whose special
sensitiveness to the observation of their
kind is due to the knowledge of spec
ial defect, or to doubt of some one
gift for whose exercise the world calls
Thus, Socrates, pronounced by the ora
Gle the wisest of mortals, walked among
his pupils and taught them in the calm
of conscious power, unmindful of his
plain face, his graceless figure, his awk-
ward presence. But when he attempt
ed some public performance before the
people, he faltered in the first onset, and
was so dismayed at the conscious pres
ence of Socrates that he could not re-
cover himself, but was Kissed and hoot-
ed home. Plato the Broad, master of
all knowledge, became so aware of Plato
when outside of his meditative groves,
that he was dashed out of cOuntenance
by an illiterate rabble, hawked, demur-
red and hesitated, before he could get
to the end of one short sentence The
golden-tongucd Cicero began those ora
tions which swayed Rome in weak,
hesitating voice, like schoolboy afraid
Of being whipped for not being perfect
in his lessons. 1t was only when he had
forgotten Cicero in Ciceros cause that
his voice thundered and lightened, and
the orator seemed to bring messages
from the gods.
The great Hooker, the most majestic
of England's writer's, was so bashful
that he never willingly looked any man
in the face, and where he fixed his eyes
at the beginning of his sermon, there
they continued until it was ended But
then, like the great elder saint, he felt
his bodily presence to be weak, and his
speech contemplate. Pope, vain, as all
little men are, and always pugnacious
admitted that he could never hold an
argument, or even make clear state
ment of length in the presence of half a
dozen people, so bashful did his percep-
ton of his deformity make him. Poor
Gray so dreaded the observation of his
kind that he stunned all companion
ship, and hid away with his books
and his pen, being duly punished
for this isolation by the roisterers of
the university, who hunted the owl-like
scholar from his dim haunts in college
after college.
Yet even these great names ought not
to reconcile the bashful man and woman
to this community of suffering, since
their cure depends upon themselves. A
child whose life is made wholly objec-
tive, whose interests are all external
who is taught not to think of himself
does not grow up to be embarrassed by
his members, distressed by the fashion
of his clothes, or frightened at the ut
terance of his opinions.
Let the bashful person, then, seek q
like peace of liberty First, let the
garb be so simple and so fitting that il
cannot engage curious attention. Their
all further thought of the garb may be
dismissed. Second, let the manner be sc
quiet, the voice so ow-toned, the speecf
so moderate, that criticism is forestall
ed. Then all doubt of ones style may
be set at rest. And, first, last and al
ways, let the bashful person refuse to
talk Of self. This abstinence will pres
emily invite such an interest in external
affairs and people as shall crowd out the
thought of self, and then the bashful
person is redeemed.
In word, manners rest upon morals
And perhaps the most comprehensive
as well as the most exact, prescription
for the cure of bashfulness is found ir
the noble motto of the Harry Wads
worth clubs: Look up, and not down
look forward, and not back; look out
and not in, and lend hand.