The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1878-09-14
NUMBER %.
PASSING SMILES.

he is from Louisville Graphic.
SOME clothing was stolen recently
from the Office Of the New London Tel
egrdm. The editor must have been TAX
ing bath at that time. Danietsonrit'e
Sentinel.
A MAN, who calls himself hunter,
shot n deer in the Adirondacks the other
day. He subsequently stood over
farmers dead horse and shelled out
$780, Norcich Bulletin.
A RELIGIOUS exchange remarks that
human nature has a powerful yearning
for the good and pure. 1t has, it has,
and likewise about the same sized
laundering for green fruit.
BY an accident at a Cape May hotel
an empty champagne bottle was placed
at guests table. Turning. to the
waiter, he said, al did not order Ex-
ira Dry" The waiter saw through
it.-Phiiadelphia Bulletin.
THERE is young woman in Elmira,
| New York, with hair thirty-nine inches
long. If she was only man, what a
superb corn doctor she would make!
All man needs to make him profess
sional chiropodist is long hair.
| THERE is no p,cnlc ant however IowIy,
That for q livelihood must toll aid peg,
Ba, lifts the largest man up, grandly, slowly
/ When IL goes browsing up his trousers leg.
| There is no little bee however humble,
That gathers summers SWEETS for winters store,
| But has by nroddng with his tiny bumble
Made great men writhe and howl and groan and
! swore --bnfftngfon HdtpHsye.
"DocToR, what do you think is the
matter with my little boyT' Why,
it's only a curruitified exegesis anti
spasmodically emanating from the germ
Of the animal refrigerator producing a
prolific source of irritability in the per-
icranial epidermis of the mental pro-
fundity." "Ah! that's what ! told
Betsy, but she lowed it was wurrums."
/ The man who turns his wages over to
his wife every week, is pretty near a
Mormon. He's Saturday Saint at least
-Keokuk Constitution. The man who
trusts his wife sufficiently to do this,
has safer bank than any savings bank
in the land, and preserves himself from
the devil and the whisky bottle. There's
truth, wit, and poetry combined in this.
-Breaktdst Table.
A CHICAGO clergyman was aroused at
midnight last week to go and pray by
the bedside of dying man. On ascer-
tanning that the unfortunate being was
director in gas company, he said to
the messenger: "Well, | don't know
that there is any use in my going; it'll
Just be a waste of good praying; still,
suppose, it's my duty" and reluctantly
accompanied him.
IT is never best to be in too much. of
hurry. A young woman at Madison
vile, KY, who married an old man for
his money, lost all hope after two years
of welded life, and went hence with
rope around her neck. Immediately
after the funeral the old gentleman died
of apoplexy She could have raked in
the pile by waiting couple of days
longer Breakfast Table.
THE ARROW AND THE SONG.
| shot an arrow into the air,
1t fell TO earth, knew not where;
| For 80 swiftly 1t flew, the sight
Could not follow 1t In Its flight.
! breathed a song into the air
II fell to ear, h, knew not where:
| For who has sight so keen and strong,
That 1t can follow the flight OF song2
a. Long, long afterward, In an oak
! found the arrow, still unbroke
And the song, from beginning to end,
found agn in the heart OF friend
DIR. CARVER says he wants to retire
from shooting. He says he is tired to
death of the whole business, with its
hollow show and gilded mockery. Ut
terly sick at heart, he gladly offers to
give any one who can, before Christmas,
equal his poorest shot, his eight rifles,
three shotguns, elegant and costly
badges, one thousand dollars in money,
two pairs Of pants Zone of them but a
little worn in the suburb), coat, vest,
| I'LL aud ol na w Ilndar-
shirt. Such anxiety as this would COM
pletely break down an ordinary man.
Danbuvy Neacs.
THERE is a gentleman named John
w. Dolly who lives near Braggville,
Jasper County, who not only runs a
large plantation there, but is natural
born poet of no mean pretensions. As
a proof of this, a tenant, by the name OF
Mike Horn, called upon him recently for
an order ON Mr.. Pease, a grocer, for
some corn. Dooley grabbed his pencil,
and without intending to be poetical,
rapidly wrote Mr.. Pesse, if you please,
let Mr.. Horn have bushel of corn.
Charge the amount to my account, and
in the fall I'll pay you all. Yours trnly,
John w. Dolly"
WHEN a man enters the post-ofice,
and sees woman standing at the de-
livery, he braces up, smiles, and con-
cludes to wait patiently few moments.
If there are two women there, he sneaks
up behind them and tries to wink to
the clerk to get his mail. But when one
of the women enters into conversation
with the official as to the reasons why
the magazine has not come, and how
long before it will be here, and If he is
sure he looked in the right box, the cit
izen Jams his hat down over his eyes
and strides out of the post-otiice lobby
in way that would do credit to pro-
fessional pedestrian. The next day he
negotiates for lock- box.--Rome SEN
tinet.
BINGEN, +" fair Bingen on the Rhine"
immortalized by Mrs. Norton's ballad,
; is credited with population of seven
, thousand in the guide books, but locks
smaller. We confess to feeling of
| disappointment on looking at Bingen.
: A dirty looking railroad fronts the town
t and destroys all the romance attached
to the place. There are many fairer
towns farther down on the Rhine, the
t rhapsody of the Soldier of the
4 Legion who I" lay dying in Algiers, to
the contrary Notwithstanding The
r grand scenery Of the Rhine just begins
|. "a omen at this point. Below Bingen