The Lamoille news. (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1877-1881, 1878-01-02
SMALL EXPECTATIONS.

1t is generally supposed by our family,
and those who know us well, that my
Uncle Buncle would "leave me some
thing " at his demise. In fact, I thought
so myself. Our reasons for this belief
being these:
First. When I was little girl, though
he took no notice whatever of other
little girls, he always patted me on the
head when we met, and said &C. Ha, ha I!
here you are, Hetty."
Secondly. When;I was a big girl, and
vent to school, he always ehucked me
under the chin on holiday occasions,
and inquired: "Well, what are they
eaching you, Hetty ?"
Thirdly. When I had grown to be a
woman, he established the following
form of greeting as permanent thing
"H'm how do you do2'
Fourthty. He never took notice of any
one else in so many words, but merely
nodded to all other mortals.
Fifthly. When was married, he pre-
sented me with an antediluvian tortoise
shell comb, once the property of the late
Mrs. Buncle, and of preposterous fash
ion, said to have been in vogue at a
remote date, the back half foot high,
and elaborately carved. AS he disap-
proved of weddings generally, and never
before had been known to give the bride
anything but scolding, this was really
something to build upon-though, by
the way, offended him sorely by re-
fusing to wear the horrible thing to the
altar upon my wedding day.
Now of course I did not wish Uncle
Buncle to die, nor could have done so
had been certain that, on his decease
should have become millionaire still
we know that all flesh is mortal, and
Uncle Buncle was like the rest of the
world in this respect and when he did
depart, it would be a comfort, to be the
means of presenting Charlie with six
thousand pounds.
When we moved to our charming little
cottage at Barley Hill, I decided that
when Uncle Buncle visited us, | would
make him so comfortable that the matter
would be quite settled. And, in fact,
the spare room was furnished with an
eye to his peculiar tastes, and large
amount of pepper was laid in with which
to season his favorite dishes. However,
Uncle Buncle declined our invitations
persistently and, having kept our spare
room empty for him long while, we at
last informed the rest of our friends who
had promised to visit us that we were
anxious for their company.
We certainly were. Nothing could
have pleased us better than that they
should have arrived in body on one
day. But, alas ! Barley Hill Cottage
had few disadvantages among them
tile fact that there were but four rooms
and bath room-with which, by the
way, we had had such an indescribakle
amount of trouble, on account of our
faulty plumbing, that we wished that
modern convenience was not in our pos
session.
Consequently, when one day we had
the pleasure of greeting the Misses
Jones, the Misses Brown and their
mamma, Cousin Clarissa and Mrs.
Twits Miranda Jane, aged nine, we
were puzzled. However, necessity is
the mother of invention. We apollo
gized to the Misses Brown and their
mamma for putting them all three to-
gether into the spare room. We re-
signed ours without murmur to the
Misses Jones. We begged Cousin
Clarissa to excuse rs for giving her the
sofa bedstead in the parlor, and made a
couch with three chairs and bolster for
Miranda Jane in n cornor cupboard.