Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-06-26
HunlOT.

begin where the other fellow left off.
Samson was an eminent tragedian in
his day, and in his last act brought
down the house.-Erchange.
If your foot is asleep do not be alarm
ed; the poet tells us that the sole is not
dead that slumbe .-SYyaca,se SUNDAY
Times.
A gentleman asked friend in q very
knowing manner, Pray, did you ever
see cat-fsh2" "No," was the response.
"but I've seen a rope-aDaM"
The festive goats and sportiye cows
Can never, never knit their browse
-Nev Jersey Republican.
The air is so ba1my that the young
woman who is taking piano lessons can
have the window up. This is very graft
flying to us.-Donbuqy Ne1us.
Isn't there an awfully strong smell
of pigs in the air?" asked Smith of
Jones. Yes" replied Jones. " that's
because the winds from sou-Uest"
The Detroit Free Press presents the
question, care watermelons healty?"
Much depends, we should say, on the
teeth and enterprise OF the old gentle
man dog.-Buta0 EIpress.
All flesh is grass" remarked q dry
preacher in the midst of wearisome
discourse. "Then I guess you're hav,"
half audibly observed a sleepy fellow in
one of the wall pews.
There hasn't been a western town up-
set by tornado, or rent in twain by a
cyclone for a whole day. Go west
young man, go west, and blow up with
| the country.-OI City Derrick.
"And they were all talking so unkind
of you, dearest Louise, and" And
what were they saying?" Saying that
you painted your face; and [ told
| them that it was untrue, and that your
color was only erysipelas."
Out in Nevada young wife in Eureka
asked her husband to take her to the
circus, but refused, and said: "I've lost
four wives already, and you're theffth,
and afore them circus fellows get here
Pm goin to chain you up"
David Davis is about to establish an
aching void in Washington. That is to
say, he is going to Europe. We trust
the vacancy will be plainly marked
danger" SO that two or three hundred
ambitious persons won't stumble into it
and get lost forever.-Bufalo Express.
| Charles (plhWuuy). Glow much really
did that hat cost, Jennie?" Jennie. eff
you really want to inspect the bills for
my dry-goods, Charles, there is way to
| do it," and au]aat else could Charles do
but propose on the spot.
Now WELD the girls the malet-stcks
With strange infatuation;
And meanwhile play fantastic tricks
With loudest cachination.
Their mallets swing the game to win,
Regardless Of the friction,
Till suddenly one strikes shin,
And though she struggles hard to grin,
She shrieks her mallet-dictiOn.
| Here is an extract from little boys
first composition: Gwen cats is q
sWearin' and blasfemin, and tryin'
the Cages of their steam b'ilers in the
| back yard at mite it makes teller ofil
Trade, if he isn't sleepin' with his big
BROTHER Virginia Gty (Nev.) Enter
prise
| Beautiful feet are those that go
On kindly ministries to and fro
| Down loWlieSt ways, if God wills it so.
! Beautiful shoulders are those that bear
| Ceaseless burdens of homely care,
With patient grace and daily prayer.
Beautiful lives are those that bless
! Silent river of happiness,
Whose hidden fountains but few may guess.
This is boys composition on girls.
He says: "Girl's are the only folks
that has their own way every time.
Girls is of several thousand kinds, and
sometimes one girl can be like several
thousand girls if she wants to do any
thing. This is all know about girls,
and father says the less that [ know
about them the better off I am.
Throughout the hot and dusty day
| The sprinkiing sprinkler sprinks its way,
| And sprinkles sprinklirgs up and down
! The spr nkled precincts of the town.
| IN vain have sprnk ed ladies sVOre
| At crossings sprinkingly sprinkled o'er
| In vain the sprightly sprinkl1ng boots,
Because the sprinkler sprnks his boots;
t That sprinkling sprinkler sprinkles on
/ Until its sprinkling sprinkis DONE
l. Nor pause cen for curse Or thank,
Until It's final sprink is sprank.
st. Louis Post.
| A fnely-dressed young woman came
hurrying out of Worthington street,
and as she turned into Main ran against
q barefoot urchin, one Of a group. up
setting him. 81 beg Your pardon, y
she said, did it hurt your "No,
miss" replied the little fellow, when he
recovered his speech; you may run
agin me and knock me down twenty
times if you want ter" Then, as the
young woman passed on turning to his
companions, he continued; 1" I tell
you, fellers, it kinder tux. my breath at
fust to hear her 'poligize ter me, but
guess did the right sort Of thing. arter
all, didn't II" "You bet,", was the
unanimous response. -
| ORNAMENTAL TREES. George Ell
wanger, at the late meeting of Western
New York Horticultural society, gave
the following as a list of deeiduous
] ornamental trees possessing real merit
for planting. For small place, he
advocated: Birch, cut-leaved; yellow
wood; thorn, PauPs double scarlet;
! Judas. tree; beech, Rivers smooth
i leaved purple; alder, Imperial cut