Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-08-04
Humorous Items.


The first tanner-The sun,
Evening prayers Burglars.
A sott's nap-A noodle asleep.
An ice tklng A polar expedition.
In writing, millers use foury language
A "ciear' case--Jumping bail-bond
The early swimmer catches the cramp
What is a home without moth tn ere
Bootlcss attempt Trying to 90 bare
foot.
To make man feel sheepish- Slam
him.
War is inevitable. Marriages still con
tinue.
A fool and his fathers money is soor
parted.
Wigs, in the language of flowers. are
lielocks.
The path OF duty Through the Gus
tom house.
Railroad depose- Turning out the SUI.
perintendent.
The forerunners Of a plauge "A mos
quito's legs.
Motto for hot nights-Le earn to Law bare
and to wait.
A case of suspended animation-A
man with braces n.
Ii a man "means business he should
have business means.
The man isn't very hungry who AYERS
that he is above board.
Sitting Bull has evidently taken to In
dlaneering. -Loa0ey1 Courier.
Why didn't "Japhet in Search of a
Father'go to Bag dada
The soda fountains motto should be-
Business sizz business"
SM1otto for new hotcls-Charity covereth
multitude of boardcrs.
In very warm weather the schoo,mas-
ter IS the only man who keeps his collars
straight
When married men complain of being
IN not water at home, it turns out half
the time it's scold.
West Hill man calls his horse Cline
because when he is 'untied" he s.waifs
for no man.
The discrepancy between pepper and
GOOD soil is: One is ground fine, and the
other is fine ground.
Take at least one good look at cocoa
nut, young man, before you have your
head moved and sendpapcred.
The difference between a goose and some
men is that goose never gets into hot
water until it's dead.
It's no wonder, as critic recently re-
marked, that 1.-THE Raven savors Of an
Gent Greece. It's made
Aggravating: To think of a good Joke
after getting to bed, and not able to re-
cal word Of it next morning.
A minion OF the law seized FANNY
Davenports tights at Scranton the other
day. There was nothing in them at the
time, however.
There are beautiful warm soda springs
in Colorado, and people who 90 bathing
in them at once exclaim: 90! but this IS
soda-licious."
Birds are entitled to justice. When a
man is lndulglng in a frolic, to say he is
''out on lark" is libel on that bird
lie is really out On a swallow.
Who hath woe-who hath sorrow
Well, that Nevada man who traded
mule tor wife feels about as red around
the eyes as any Of EN-
An Independence Kan) woman wants
divorce because she was chlorofermed
and carried off and married to her hus-
band two or three days before she knew
it, 80"
INC Detroit Free Press presents the |
question, care watermelons healthy2n
Much depends, we should say. on the
teeth and enterprise Of the old gentle
mans dog.
The Troy Times asks: "should the
fr s;s pass out would Samuel J. BOP
ln"' The chances are that he would not.
ne has proved himself too much of non,
Inlay. pop
us this airtght?" inquired man in
hardware store, as he examined a stove
mo, sir" replied the clerk: uair neve,.
gets tight" He lost a customer. 0'0-
a chicago chap advertises for several
steady girls to help on pantaloons. And
an envlous scribe says that a fellow who
can heip on his own pantaloons OUGHT
TO be ashamed to want girls to do it.
a man was killed by circular saw
ana IN his obituTy notice it was stated
I, nat ne was good citizen, an upright
Christian, and an ardent patriot. but of
United knowledge in regard to circular
saws"
a Florida negro mlstook mule for a
shost and poked it with stick. The
'erolct recites that he came to his death !
y using too shoN stick IN probing the
lnknoWable for evidence of future ex-
stence. o "a
AT o'clock q. m. Tuesday the moon
assoc, ), close enough to Jupiter to enable
ne man IN the former to hail the latter,