Connecticut western news., 1878-12-18
WIT AND WISDOM.

The best illustrated paper out.-A bank note.
 A pimple is the coupon of buck wheat cake.
 -Gas-slighted is what will become of it when Edison electrifies us.
 England is happy agaln, trouncing boy right at Russia's back door.
 As the body is purified by water so is the soul purified by truth.-Mann.
 Age respects love, but unlike youth it respects little the signs of love- Richter.
 The way to eternal beatitude is open to him who without omission speaketh truth. h.-Veda.
 Hide not the truth when you know it. and clothe not the truth with false- hood. .-Mehammed.
 Virtue maketh men on the earth famous, in their graves glorious and in heaven immortal. l.-Chilo.
 Nothing exasperates more than considerate, quiet hatred; passionate hatred does so far less.-Richter.
 Man is in friendship what woman is in love, and the reverse, namely, moro covetous of the object than of the feeling for it.-Richter..
 The Morristown Herald thinks the song of the Pullman Palace Oar Com pany is "Hark, I hear an Angen Sung Sing-Angen now is on the wing"
 When @ man takes letter from his wife to drop in the post-office on his way down town" he imagines himself @ travelling postal car and keeps it in his pocket week.
 =" Didn't tell you to call me at six o'clock this morning.? Why did you disobey me, Joseph ?" If you please sir, was afraid you wouldn't Ike It, You were asleep"
 "A company..of settlers, in naming their new town, called it Dictionary, pe- cause. as they said, "that's the only place where peace, prosperity and hap piness are always found"
 -The saddest time, we think, ln young mans life is when girl writes to him that she wants her old letters, and that he can have his 50 cent diamond earrings upon application.
 --"Better call her 0 woman, sald Judge Nelson to lawyer in Brooklyn, who was talking about lady the other day: "God made woman, but lady IS only modern fixture in fine dress.
 There could scarcely be more passes in Afghanistan if the country aboundeo with railroads, circuses, negro mlnstrels and other expressions of the clvlization of the Anglo Saxon. -- Detrot Ffee | Press. Tt ia now announced on the authorl- tv of an eminent physician that 1t IS not healthy to rise before eight o'clock III the morning. This applies only to men' Wives can riso .at seven and light the | fire as heretofore.
 He was countryman, and he walked along our busy thoroughfare and read a sign over the door of a manufacturing establishment, "Cust Iron Sinks. It made him mad. He said that my fool ought to know that. ...
 --The Burlington Ha,okeye says there would be one mighty good thing TOT General Grant, if he would accept the throne of Bulgaria. His Majesty couldn ' understand word his subjects said when they came around the palace ana waited for coIlectorships and postofhces.
 -The end of the honeymoon. Young bride (much hurt)-" Edwin, you nave been whistling and singing all day. and it is our last day, too Anyone would think you were glad to get back to town again. :" Young husband-"So am. (Happy thought occurs to him here. With YOU. pet-with you, of course"
 The lightning rod man applied to tbe president of railroad to put light nine rods on all his cars. Lightning rods on our cars?" asked the latter.
 "Why, certainly" "What Tn the world do we want them for?" "Be' cause they make good conductors" TO nlied the man, as he closed the dool hastily behind him. ...
 One of the highest complimentsam amai can receive is to have friend say to hlm
 "The very sight of your pleasant fac'
 is enough to drive away the blues. bu
 the satisfaction with which one hear
 such speeches is marred by the antlclpa
 tion of the remark that is almost certalf 3 to ensue-"By the way, you haven , got two dollars that you" &c.,, &c. B -"Are you the saleswoman of whom l I bought this handkerchief yesterday ? V asked purchaser at one of our dr, Q goods stores. CT am the sales-lady wh l. served you, madam, responded the re , duced Empress in banged hair, lonl , watch chain and ringed fingers, wh l. presided at the counter. "WeH, sai e the customer, "I will take dozen more 0 and as I wish to get them to my washe y lady at once I will get you to send ther | to my carriage around the corner, M e coach gentleman cannot get to the doc just now for the cart of the ash-gentls