National Republican., 1878-05-01
Tho Public school Appropriations.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TIP

HOW WOULD YOU LIKEIT?
Penny wise and pound foolish ~ When
you have been '0enched" and "birchedr aud
'cornered.r and "monitoretl :" when YOU have
been made to whisper the vowels till your car
drums nearly split in the vain effort to hear
your own utterances; when you have shouted
to arms till the horses in the street took
fright when you have diluted in your sem
tcnce making, and twisted and tortured in
your analysis out of all semblance to tho ORR
ginals some of the finest specimens of poetry
and prose In the English language until you
could scarcely sleep at night for visions OF
their wrathful authors brandishing great rolls
OF manuscript at you, and pointing with aw-
full significance to inky gulf flowing beneath
their feet; when you learn that has five
sounds in one grade, and been taught in the
next that four were amply sufficient to repre-
sent that assuming letter; when you have
been instructed by one teacher to borrow from
the minuend and pay back to the next figure
OF the subtrahend, and by another to borrow
simply and count the lender ono less; when
you have been harassed by one system Of
mathematics one term and made to shun the
same the next; when professor after profess
sor has considered 1t n solemn duty to crowd
into your youthful mind, without regard to it,
capacity for retention, all rorts Of "Ogrdph1sr
and "tcs," and another still has nearly driven
you mad at times by his mournful illusions
to "a class / once hsd." which, II his
memory did not err, could locate each variety
OF tree, bush, root, weed In it's own climatc
belt, aud releeato each species of horse, COW,
goat, hippopotamus and roach to the particu-
lar parallel where its progenitors first saw the
light of day; when the impossibility of ever
connecting the enjoyment of u cup of tea or
coffee with knowledge of the longitude of
tho plantations or gardens in which the leaves
or berries were gathered, and the vile habits
Of the cultivators, had caused you to wonder
in the simplicity of youthful ignorance how
near akin much Of what people call knowledge
Is to the vanity of vanities which solomon
tells Off When your limbs, which rejoice in
the greatest laXity of arrangement, until you
are delightfully."- round ,shOuldcred, and your
eyes having acquired the dreamy student
look, so charming in pictures, arc progressing
rapidly toward habtual squint, and you
cannot sit still more than a minute but must
be always drilling holes in the tabletop
through the cover, or into the carpet with tho
nails OF OF your shoes, which never fail to be-
come visible after weeks wear; or scraping
the polish from the legs of the parlor chairs
with dcxterity that makes your grandmother
thank her stair.rounds are not fashionable to
parlor chairs in these day :" have, by sue
cession OF grades been brought to describe
certain angles by disciplariau, who
elevatcs your chin, rcversrs your shoul-
derS, puts your heels where YOU have accus-
toned your toes To be; nails ,fguratively) your
elbows TO your sides, props your dropping eye
lids with few sarcastic pins which she keeps
IN her mouth with the points always out, ,criti-
ciscs your gait till you wonder how judicious
arrangement of orange-pccl on the sidewalk
would affect hers, nnd you have one day, in
spite OF Is C's, AK AK, e-x cx, the symphonic
ba be -bi-bo-bu, and the rival claims of hen.
pig, and jug in object teaching upon your ma
tufe Judgment-you nre seventeen nearly,
found yourself really able to read, write, and
speil aud locate Guinea, truly thankful that
Livingston had not contract for new series
Of geography; confident that you can Improve
on Miss lickOry's method OF teaching, hoping
not to fall below Miss Weakly, striving to at
tam this, to forget that, with some fears aud
many hopes, resolved to succeed in everything
good, determined 10 be conscientious, knowing
your own Scyllss and Charybdcs, impressed
with the highest appreciation OF aud consider
alton Tor Juvenile humanity, docile As well ~
aud humanity sweet and inno-
cent is pretty aprons aud ruiiies and tidy
boots, As well rs humanity dirty aud ragged
and in need OF handkerchief; strong in the
belief that the first has the same right to life,
liberty, aud tho pursuit OF happiness that be-
longs to the last. TO be within two months OF
your diploma and all the good you meant to
have and do by means of it, put back year
by the peculiar economy of u peculiar Con-
srcss, how would you like it9
FAITH LlCHEN.
Womcn'stealing for tho Turkish market Is
common trade in CircasSia. A Turk in Sc,l-
aria was recently buying couple of girls.
when it occurred to him that perhaps they
we're stolen. lie asked them, but they could
not understand his meaning. lie then ap-
plied to the police, who brought in the near
st Bul lgarian rs interpreter, aud he rcug-
lzcd the girls rs his own daughters.
Some crusty Benedck observes: There's
nothing to exceed the dabolcal satisfaction
man will tako in announcing To his wife after
no has got his shirt on, that there is button