Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1878-09-12

| Wnal a DarOer Sh0ulQ talk about
whilst shaving a man - about two
seconds.
a peach always gravitates into a
dealers basket with the specked side
down. Now, why is it?
The father of Rarus used to draw a
tish-cart. The mother was never
known. This is very hos -pitia-ble.
In connection with Massachusetts,
politics, Ben. Butler evidently regards
himself as the cock-eye of the walk.
Swell young men have their trowsers
to match the color of the door-stoop
where their sWeethearts live.
AT Bath, Me-, recently, a young
couple were introduced, engaged, mar
ried and divorced, all within a week.
The Hawkeye charges Postmaster
General Key with thirteen children at
the last census. Quite bunch of Keys.
When the Hon. Mr.. Aleck Stephens
goes away from home the women call
it a beautiful specimen of skeleton
leaves.
A ghost which for some time past
has hOnOred Rochester house by snOr-
ing turns out to be weasel. The
neighbors Call it "a big sell.
A woman can't put on any sidesaddIe
style when she goes in a swimming.
She has either got to kick out like a
man or get drowned.
The Boston Herald unkindly re-
marks: Ben Butler having left the Re-
publican party, that party should at
once take an account OF stock, to see
what is missing. ........-
"Does your sister Annie ever say
anything about me?" asked an anxious
lover. "Yes," replied the little girl,
''she said il you had rockers on your
shoes they'd make nice cradles"
Sundayschool Teacher: (Which is
the best, the wheat or the tares?"
Master Hobbs: 1.-THE wheat gets
threshed, but tares don't"
The Unkindest Cut of AIl.-The
Major: "WOuld you advise me to have
these few hairs in front cut off?' Hair
cutter: "U-m. Well, sir, l should
ESTATE before sacrificed my honly
tournament.
Some scientific men claim that the
sun Ia drawing nearer the earth every
year. We don't know about that, but
We do know about that, but we do
know that throughout the sesson the
bottoms of the strawberry and black
berry boxes come closer to the top every
day.
Emperor William Is taking mud
baths at Tepliz, which are considered q
very efficacious remedy for rheuma-
tism. About fifty political candidates
are doing the same thing out West just
now, but 1t does not seem to improve
them much.
The growing strength of the third
term movement inspires prince"
Fred to give the public specimen of his
thoughts now an then. 81 don't think
pa is so pious man AS Mr.. Hayes"
he says, "bnt he can knock the spots
out OF him as President"
''And Moses was an austere. man."
read the minister from the Bible. Oar
now, you dun hear dat, Sam, de Scrip
ture says Moses was an Oysterman, and
you dun flung it up to me that selling
oysters wasn't q spectacle Dizziness.
II it's good enough for Moses, it's
Spectacle enough for me-"
Some people do not understand how
manage to print pictures of
so soon after the murder
takes place. Although it Is secret of
the business, we must be generous to
our readers, and say that all the cuts of
patent medicines that come into q
newspaper Office are saved.
''Sweets to the sweet" said young
man on passing the syrup to q young
lady seated at one of the hotel tables.
"And beets to the beat" remarked the
lady, showing dish of that vegetable
toward the young man. For some
reason the observation cast settled
gloom DER countenanee that just be-
fore was radiant with smiles.