Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1878-08-03

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trying so think is all riSAs-
M fazne seoa ~preaA. In an hous
the ssore was perfecfly heie2guervd.
/ h~w around hike . a~e.pstxaeA
ehscken. xtrivlng ts falSQ the de-
m&nds for my Services
Mutton chops. Il you please.
/ seized hatehet preparatory 30
cutting - many chops as were de-
sired. from . great bloody hulk Of
1esh, when Q dainty hand gently
pointed out INV error. and the re-
9uisite mutton at the same time.
Not accustomed to the busi-
ness." said . pleasant voice. inquir-
ingly.
flashed a glance Of admiration
and perturbation into as merry q pair
Of eyes as l ever met with. l at
tempted an explanation, but had
scarce begun when fresh avalanche
OF arrivals put a stop to all dis
closures.
All things must have An end, and
I give you my word it was the hap
piest moment of my life when that
evenings work was over. Yes, sir;
I saw the last particle of meat dis
appear with an ecstacy hardly to be
imagined. I had sold out the whole
supply. I chuckled to myself at
what thought an unusual run of
luck, or else q peculiar faculty for
the business.
Really, now," I soliloquized,
II don't suppose Simpkins paid over
five dollars for the whole lot, and
I've got over fifteen - ten dollars
clear gain. Won't Simpkins be sur
prised T.
Thus cogitating I journeyed home
ward, and, fatigued by my extra ex-
ertions, soon fell asleep. That night
I dreamed that I was ascending
Mount Washington, with q party Of
young associates, when, as stopped
TO save a lady, whose brown eyes
strikingly resembled those had 80
recently met, the whole mountain
turned to an elephantine mass of
beef; a multitude of frantic beings
clamored fiercely at the mountain,
while I strove vainly to satisfy their
outcries. At length, driven to des-
peration, resolved on suicide. Itook
a rope from my pocket, and careful
ly twisting it, ascended what I sup
pOsed to be tree. but which proved
q huge bologna, with masses of
linked sausage, branching and rami.
flying in exact imitation of nature.
After suspending myself I slid slow
ly down, hoping my support would
prove adequate. Vain hope! The
limb bent and curved with my
weight, and I awoke suddenly, with
a choked sensation, to find that in
my restless plunges I had drawn my
night garments away, which caused
the uncomfortable pressure around
my throat, and fully accounted fol
my suicidal intentions.
Next morning I sat quietly eating
my breakfast, when a clatter Of feet
and . furious ring of the door-bell
upset my peaceful equanimity.
heard my name uttered in excited
tones, and fastened to ascertain
what was up, thinking some demoni-
&C toothache, which only dentistical
forceps could exercise the occasion
of this early call.
I rushed toward the unknown; he
simultaneously rushed toward me;
tho result was q collision, while
through the mutual howls of pain
finally discerned the familiar tones
of Simpkins.
"What the ID has become Of
my stock ?"
Sold out, old fellow-every bit, ''
said I, in . triumphant tone; where
at Simpkins turned pale. "Look
here" I added, 4" don't you get sus-
picious and think I knocked down.
I took in quite heap Of money, al
of which / viii place in your hands. "
GOOD hesvens!" he ejaculated.
How much did you take in"
Fifteen dollars and thirty-6vs
csnts."
The spa&m of delight I expected
10 sse became . look Of utter des-
pair.
"Fiftsen dollars- he repeated
Yoa villain. II cost ne ssvsafy-
Eve dollars Wholesale. not eoanting
tina. trosble, ice. ke."
William your~slf," ] ysllsd.
Run your own market hers~is<r..-
vhersspss I eiuseAed my hst from
the rsek and ssnrsed for NJ olkcs %
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ovsxsosk ne and grshasng NY kaed
hseEed . dos<a psrases N - nany
hrsnxh&.
vna $3.50 sxsomszAra. n
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