Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1878-05-31
Humorous.

medical assistance.
The young lovers il California catch
their asScs with lassocs.
Gail Hamilton thinks il is dreadful
endorsement ofa man To marry him,
Brigham Young's widows have
begun to rcmarry, and orange bios
somS are scarce
Men who travel harefooted arounda
uewly-carpeted bedroom, often find
themselves ON the wrong tack.
When II prisoner has heen sentenced
i'll Memphis he rises and opens fire on
the court with two revolyers. That's
the kind of n show they have.
~ have great ear, wonderful
ear, said n conccited musician, in tho
course of conversation. So has y
jackass" replied 4 hysander,
The tcamttrr whistles and laughs and sioss
As hc passes through and ITO,
But he must hr sad, because his life
l. null ut wheel and whoa,
Professor" Mics O., tell me what il
that instrument called hy which wo as-
certain musical pitchY' Miss G., (hesi-
tatingly)-" A puch-fors Audible
giggling in the class, = Turner'S Fails ne.
porter,
Girls never marrya man who drinks.
II annoys him terribly To have female
smelling his breath every time he enters
the house - Bg6dio lhxpnSS,
A boy with patch ON his knee can't
he hired To go on an errand To the next
house. but he will follow band wagon
all over town and never realize that he
isn't dressed in hroadcloth. .-Fr@ press
Speaker corn of the Arkansas Legsla-
turc, is quite deaf Memphis i,uhnche.
Probably on account of his ear being 80
husky Gupnic But won't interfere
with Corn's talk HdckrlSack Rcpubh-
can.
Sitting Bull is going TO take tho nd
vico of his New York organ, tho Stn,
and ia now making preparations to re-
duce the army to 10000 men. He is
willing to soc the Sln, and go 10000
better. - NouiSto,m Herald
Catching California salmon in u
Kentucky river does not entitle man
to the rank of Colonel. whatever the
state papers may say. To be real
colonel II man must first get himself on
the Governors staff Louisville Courier
Journdl
Clocks with ponograph attachment
instead Of striking tho hour will call out
in the morning: Halo John, time to
get up or mny politely invite Dear
Charlcs, or Henry" togo home when
10 o'clock y. M. arrives. Boston Poa
Young lady, very much shocked,
ooh, mn, did you notice that insulting
puppy that has just passed us looked
ut the wretch until he got wa, out of
sight, and he had the impudence TO
stare Mt me, the horrid thing, md Just
M he turned the corner he actually lift
ed his hat and bowed. ~ Whitehall
Times.
Now the man who's considered n saint
Almost make tho family mnt,
Az loud he doth swcar
" When he Jumps nom the chair.
with his "pantnlnons' covered with paint
FHck
No one can fancy the feeling Of the
newspaper man when lie hears do
linquCnt subscriber whom he has but
twenty-lour hours before vainly i'm.
plorcd to settle TINT little bill yell
out on Sunday put me down for $50
lbl WV kuId vi VIZ 1iu6it ni1il blN1
are raising the church debt '-Iitd-
son RiMr chronicle.
The following is published rs received
by pretty girl in Washington from the
son of II prominent statesman:
OUR HOUSE. April 81, 1878.
DEAR Miss: | want you to come
around to our house il you can't get
anybody to come around To your house
and fectch you around to our house |
Will go around to your house and fetch
you around 10 our house.
Respectfully, etc,
This recalls the composition" Of q
young school girl thirty years ago up in
Connecticut: Bad children are apt not
10 10 what their mothers tell them 70
do and apt not 10 do what their mothers
tell them not 10 do but good children are
apt to do what their mothers tell them
to do, and not to do what their mothers
tell them not To do.