Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-07-31
A Grammar wanted.

''Sir, our institutions are not in danger, our
liberties are safe but our language Sir, is
in the greatest peril. The columns of our
country papers TEEN with articles on the
dangers which threaten our political inst-
tutions, but they are silent on much more
important subject. They are certainly not
aware that the quiet city of Watertow n
holds within its precints, more danger
Gus foe than any who threaten our polit-
cal stability; a sort of editorial vampire,
who week after week persists in his deadly
assaults Gu the purity of our mother tongue.
We thought some time ago that his unna.
tural appetite was atiated, and that the
ghost Of Lindley Murray, whom his MUIR
derous propensties had called from the
atodes of the departed, could return in
peace, but vain hope; last week he returns
to the attack with a freshness and vigor
that recalls to mind his earlier efforts, and
ia ga Boat Ride to Jefferson, 'he hurls foul
scorn at the language OF Milton and Addi-
son with vindictiveness which can only
proceed from the most deadly hatred.
We hate Americanisms in speech; we
despise slang, but we fear, we stand in ut
ter dread Of the Watertown murderer of the
kings English. The most charitable con-
struction We can put on his conduc. is, that
his manifestations are caused by disease,
and it SO, we can only hope as the old lady
did when her dsughter-in law gave birth to
triplets, "that II isn't catching" We will
| not ask your readers in this warm weather
to again toll through his sentences, mary
ct which have apparently, like Time and
Eternity. neither beginning OF end, but we
will just call their attention to few of the
choicest specimens of his English.
Passing over without comment the en-
chanting moment, whea every one became
''captivated by the clear and meloj ,ous
strains," of the brass band, we will With
! our eacursionists and the editor launch out
! into the stream, "whene the current is deep
and rolling Now, We have in our youth
rolled snow balls and ten pins; we have like
Byron, ''basked in the beam of a dark roll
| ing eye" we have rolled over and over in
| agooy, as consequence of eating too
| many cucumbers, but we neUcr have seen
| nor heard of +'rolling current" and to
midst! If the discovery Of the young ed-
tor only becomes noiseG abroad, it will GER
tainly attract the curious from the ends of
the earth, aud the fame of the disco verer
of current that is ''deep and rolling
| will rest on a sure foundation.
| We will pass emer the editors praises OF
\ the highly intelligent boat, which was
nevertheless afraid Of coping with another
4 snag." In Darwip's work on 1.-The Ex-
7 mails" be says nothing about boats, nor
their way Of expressing their feelings; OF
4 course not; it was reserved for the learned
/ discoverer of ''rolGng currents to no lce
| and record the first dawn of intelligence in
\ boats, and We beg to submit if this new
eruth in science, does not go a long way
4 toward solving the problem of the correla-
! ton between vital ana physical forces
| Cur editor row turns TO the river and saws
"no one CAN form conception of the SUI
perb scenery with which she is ,e.exyoned u
1t she Is coa pletely surrounded by scenery
or any thing else, we venture to Say that she
| will get outside Of her environment very
| soon, or there will be an overflow compar-
| ed TO which that caused by the Milfard dam
| is q mere circumstance; but to environ @
river could only have originated in the same
brain that put "boudoir" on young lady
Then he pels ''the waters of this ma
jesuc river to weud their ,desultory way"
but here we step to take breath, and won
der if our editor is not second cousin to
the man who made water run up hill. That
even, would prove less Difficult. task than
to force it, as be does, 10 run in discon-
| nected. inconstant manner, but to the dis
coverer of trolling currents" all things are
| posi- w ueu he remarks LQaL - O.cOtt s
lake is generally inundated" we must say
with honest IagO "why this is more ex
cellent song than the other A "desultory'
river would certainly be great curiosity.
but an inundated lake-well, if we ever
see one we will die happy. l.
In conclusion Mr.. Editor, we will say,
that with The Boat Ride as text, we
Nigh preach longer sermon than the Re-
PUBLICAN would publish, but we will not
exhaust your patience. Those who still
| thirst for more can turn to the original
| where they will find all we have quoted,
and much more Of the same sort. We bear
| the youthful editor no i'll will; in other re-
spects, we believe him to be good natured
and amiable person, but our regard for our
native tongue leads US to resent public at
lacks upon it, from whatever source they