The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-11-07
AN HOUR WITH BIJAH.
The Pine shipsie EIIxir-A Lady who H
Dreams.

| oiIhA 10 III IoColpb VI lebberb almOBt
daily asking him to come to this or that
place and apply the Michigan Pine
Shingle Elixir to boys whose constitu-
tions are out of order; and this is to give
notice to anxious parents, aunts and
guardians that his engagements here
prevent his leaving the city. However,
boys can be shipped to him from any
part of the country by express, and they
will be kindly received, the elixir ap.
piled with promptness and dispatch, and
the lads returned home more or less
cured. In obstinate cases, where the
dose may have to be repeated every
twelve hours, small sum of money
should be forwarded to pay hotel ex-
penses.
A woman weighing plump 215 pounds,
and measuring about three feet across
the shoulders, was the first caller as the
old janitor's parlor was thrown open to
the public Saturday. Her eyes fell
upon the India rubber cat as she entered
the door, and she uttered a scream of
alarm and called out:
"Muzzle yer hyena-call off yer
dog r
"Be pensive, madam-be pensive
this is only an Injy rubber cat, warrant
ed docile in all climates or money re-
funded. Take chair, madam-take
three of EN-"
ooh, dear if it had been real cat,
and if it had clawed me to death, and if
the turf was growing above me, and if I
was in heaven, it would have been Just
my luck" she sighed as she dropped
down with weight which made every
thing jar.
MADAM, has the price of 'taters
riz ?" tenderly inquired the old man.
"'Taters 'taters !" she almost shrek
ed. If my thoughts didn't soar higher
nor 'taters I'd commit suicide this very
day"
| "Well, madam, love to soar, and
love-'taters. but we will drop the sub.
iect and turn to your sad case. Has
your husband evinced disposition to-
to-that is
81 never had one," she interrupted.
"You didn'tp"
"No, sir. Some of us girls have got
married, and some of us haven't. If
am single it is not because I have not
had hundred chances to marry. I am
determined never to marry unless it is
a case of love-"
"That's the talk, madam. I always
married for love, and always shall.
This marrying woman because she
owns mule and recipe for preparing
a cough remedy always results in broken
hearts and blasted hopes, and I know
it. You remember that painful poem
"Let dogs delight to bark and fight,
For It's their nature to-"
"But don't want any fight in mine.
When my days labor is DER want to
return to my woodbine cottage on the
brow of q romantic precipice and find
my darling waiting at the"-
"Do you believe in dreams ?" sh e
suddenly asked.
3" Dreams Now you've touched q
tender spot. Madam, expect I've had
more dreams than any other bald-head-
ed man in the U. s. A."
"Well, I've had Dreams" she con.
tinued, as she bent her eyes on the car
pet. "I've had such dreams as I never
heard tell of, and, being as a woman
told me that YOU could advise me, I've
called to talk with you."
"Go right ahead on the starboard
tack, madam"
"There's man-there's a man com.
ing to our house. SIR" she said, as she
partly hid her face.
"Comes to read the gas meter, sup.
pose9 Well, go on"
"He comes to see me-" she said. Civ
ing her head ali indignant toss. 81
might as well own up that my face or
form, or conversational powers have at
tracted: Judging from his action, he
seems to love me-"
oh L.
you peppermint drops? Has he ever
read poetry to you? Have you ever
noticed him gazing at the moon like a
goat looking up at bunch of grass on
the caves of a shed?"
81 am satisfied that he loves me, :"
she musingly replied, "and I con-
! fess''-
"That you love him p
She blushed.
Which was very, very proper in her.
"Same as ever-old, old story-and
in the usual way-no cards." he sighed,
as he shifted the cat so that her yellow
eyes glared across the room at Jug of
sweet cider just brought in by farmer.
"After he left me last night I had a
DREAM" she said. 81 dreamed that
was trying to darn pair of socks with
a door-key for needle and some tele-
graph wire for yarn. While I was try
ing to mend the holes I heard horn
blow, and looking out of the window I
saw-what2"
ga fish peddler, of course"
"No, sir ! saw two horse wagon
loaded with coffins The dream awoke
me, and I found myself sitting up in
bed. 1t has worried me ever since, and
1 want to know if you can interpret it p"
Madam" began Biiah, as he rose dp
and smoothed down his head, "you have
come to the right man, and at the right
time. have never Dragged around any
on my power to interpret dreams, but
being it's you, I will say that I can
knock the spots off of any other human
being, in this town on the dream bust
ness"
"And ycu can tell me the significance
of this one ?"
"Humph Should think I could In
the first place you dreamed of socks.
That's sign that the woman next door
is jealous because you are better looking
than she is, and she's been slandering
you"
"She has Then I'll pull her peaked
nose !" exclaimed the dreamer.
"Then you dreamed of door-key.
That's a sign of an accident. Be care
full, madam, and don't hit the clothes
line in splitting wood, and don't go up
on a ladder over ten or fifteen feet"
"I never never climb ladder. sir I"