The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1878-01-29

And What Befel Him IN 0edalia.
He lives In Windsor.

He lives in Windsor.
Yea, and ore Of the pillars If the church
: but whether Ionic or Corinthian We canno
state. However, he IL q man of GOO,
standing, and one who sits in a front pev
on Sundays. For this and other reasons
We refrain from publishing his name.
Perhaps If We did, the brethren would
frown upon him, the pastor would tuI'
aside from him, and the sisters would hold
up their hands in holy horror and say, Il
told you So"
But to Our story.
Which is about The Man from Windsor.
Yesterday morning he started from his
home on the morning train for Moberiy,
but concluded 10 tarry at Se'lalia and spend
the Sabbath, for persdventnre he might
get some more later and reliable informa-
zion a. 10 whether or not there was hell,
from our divines, thsn he could from his
oxn.
So he got of the train at the Indiana
street depot, and gazed with delight at the
beautiful landscape anu the mud. that I'M
folded itself before him, the whole formin9
panorama that 'can't tear of
the roller" The SsbhatI. bells were ring
ing their silver chimes, the baggage smash
els were swearing invigoratingly, the blue
clouds Of smoke curIed gracefully heaven
ward from thousand chimneys, and that
hobtailed Fifth street COW, plod.!ed
patiently along on her way
TO pastures green, every sep being accom-
panied with a Street and Alley repor, As
she drew her hoofs out of the mud.
As The Man from Windsor stood drinking
in the beauties Of the scene around him, a
man approached hum and engaged in con-
versaiion with him. lie told The Man from
Windsor that he was an engineer, that he
drove the ponderous engine DER hill and
dale with the speed Of light, and transport
ed thousands Of migratory people 10 their
individual and respective bournes in safety
and frst-class cars.
The Man from Windsor was delighted.
Would he take walk?
OF course he would take walk. II was
not every day he could walk with an engi-
neer. And besides, he would like TO see the
city before the time when the church bells
should call him to the sanctuary, where he
could find out the most reliable information
regarding the existence Of hell.
So they walked.
Anon, the engineer remarked that he was
atl,irst, ard took from his pocket beauti-
ful half-pint flask. The out-ide OF the
flask was beautiied BY picture in bas-re-
lief. 1t represented man leaving his native
home for Pixies Peak. There was the man,
firm and reliant, with pickax and shovel
ON his shoulder, and a revolver and frying
pan in his belt. In his mouth was a pipe.
Before him was a dog. In the distance one
could imagine P,ke's Peak. All this was
on the half-mnt bottle.
1t was a splendid picture.
By one Of the old masters.
The bottle was full-we always like TO be
particular about there things. As the en-
gineer drew out the cork and elevated the
bottle to his lips, you con'd almost hear the
man who Was going to Pixies Peak say
'goody! goody! goody" as the soul
rel ,icer ran down his throat.
When the engineer Withdrew the bottle
from his mouth, he smacked his lips and
rested from his ixbors on the seventh day
yesterday and The Man from Windsor,
''Saw that it uus good"
When the engineer asked him ii he would
have some, he replied that he would. Just a
little for the stomach's sake.
And he did.
And thus The Man from Windsor walked
with the engineer, ever and anon partaking
Of spiritual consolation and discoursing de-
Iightfully all the while.
Suddenly darkness fell upon the earth
and the man from Windsor, and he sank
down oblivious to all sublunary things
around.
He slept, he knew no, how long, but
when he awoke it was about four o'clock
in the afternoon. and he was lying upon
the cold. damp ground, on Usage street, in
the Southern part Of the city. lie looked
around for the engineer. but he Was gone.
Probably with his train.
& He looked for his money-that was
gone, too.
Probably with the engineer.
Then The Man from Windsor likened
himself to the man Who journeyed to
Jericho. and as the dawn of consciousness
crawled over his mind, like boy over a
high orchard fence, he became convinced
that things are not always what they
seem, and
]. The engineer was a fraud.
9. That the whiskey vas drugged.
B. And ii there Was no hell, sealed pro-
posals should be Immediately issued for
the construction Of enc for the especial
benefit of that heightened rooster who play
ed the engineer.
He lost about $40, but borrowed some
money and went to Moberly this morning,
firmly convinced that it won't do to trust
strangers who carry Pixies Peak pictures
on their bottles.
And thus endeth the adventure of The
Man from Windsor.
LamontS Items.