The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1878-04-16

feet of the New York police. lie uses .
horse To get around conveniently.-Er-
chang.
I, would be more professional to do il
afoot.
-Gail Hamilton wears very tight cOrsets,
and sometimes, - she looks out Of the
window dre.mfully nj the full moon she
turns smilingly around to see il . man
really Is there squeezing her but her brow
resumes its rigidiiy as she perceives il is
nothing but the phantom oil her hopes
EJchdnys.
This is wasting sweetness on the Gail.
The phantom OF that Hamilton woman's
hopes Is something more substan than .
corset.
"A Scotch paper relates how Gen.
Grant lost thumb and finger at the battle
If Michigan. Of cour<e il means Zach.
Chandler, who met the surgeon at that
battle, and invited him TO take three I'm
gen.-E.
Reading Of such occurrences a these are
likely to put man out Of spirits.
Temperance Banner: Why do men in
bad health drink whisky?
Why, because there's 80 much body TO
it,
How to bring mp calves-shift the saw
dust.-E1ehanye.
No. II is bran that the Boonville girls
use and ell they do to shift il il TO stand on
their head before they start out for prom
enade.
A correspondent tells u. mot to be
bluffed" Correct. We hold four aces.-Tsr-
ser's Fail. Repoder.
Sherman Thunt0n OF Kansas City held
, Eve aces over ST. Louis Bohemian the 9TH
er night who held four aces. He appealed
To the courts Of jackson county TO get his
money back. lie didn't.
The short kilt skirt j. an accomplished
faci.-Sun.
Glad to hear il, but il seems IN us as IL
the above depends largely upon the woman
who wears it.
The first words spoken by Eve-"I
must have new spring bonnet At once
Buffalo E,Pres-
Ii he was a good husband, Adam vent
Immediately to Mrs. Norion's to select and
buy one OF the latest tiles.
Lydia Thompson il worth quarter Of
million dollars. all acquired by the strict
est economy in dressing.
Increasing years may drive Lydi, from
the stage, but she is certain TO retire on
good legacy.
A man made bet that he could ride
the Ay.wheel in a sawmiil -7aHey Ga,eise
ale was kind husband and an indul
gent parent" said the local papers, "but he
did no, know much about fly Wheels"
A young man sent sixty cents to firm
advertising for that miro &c. -.''A .''-~
preventive OF bad dreams. He received
the answer, ''Dont 60 to sleep"
Gone. but not forgct!en-the hired girl
who put insect powders in our salad instead
of mustard.
Mr.. Beecher SAYS that white lies are
very pernicious; that lying between men
aud Of course between women too il dam
geroas in the extreme E5ohanye.
There was no Beecher in Il. Washington's
time although the cherry tree and ha,chet
figured conspicuously IN the matter Of truth
telling.
A few days ago Mr.. Moody, when just
abou; to begin his sermon, spied slumber.
ing Bostonian IN the audience before him.
lie paused and requested that somebody
would wake the man up, as possibly the
sermon would result in converting him
from the error Of his WAYS. On being
vigorously punched in the ribs the slumber.
er awake with snort and groan, and for
a moment looked wildly around, after
which he settled himself down to listen To
what Moody had to say. He proved to he
a veil known and worthy deacon Of . sub
urban church.-E5ehange.
Just so. Il there one good bald headed
deacon IN Scdalia Who will snore in his
pew to-day? II 20 do not wake him a. the
sleep will do him, more good than the
preaching.