Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-01-21
gaaies' Column.
A WORD In BEHALF OF WIVES.

married, she should stipulate in their
behalf with their husbands for regu-
lar sum of money to be paid them, at
certain intervals, for their personal ex-
penditures. Whether this sum was
to be larger or smaller was matter of
secondary importance-that just depends
on the income and style of living-but
the essential thing was that it should
come to the wife regularly, SO that she
should no more have to make a special
request for it than her husband would
have to ask for his dinner. This lady's
own husband was, as | happened to
know, Of most generous disposition,
was devotedly attached to her, and de-
MED her nothing. She herself was the
most accurate and careful manager.
There was everything in the house to
make the financial arrangements flow
smoothly. Yet she said to me, 81 sup
pose no man can possibly understand
how sensitive woman shrinks from
asking for money. If | can prevent it,
my daughter shall never have to ask for
it. If they do their duty as wives and
mothers, they have right to their share
of the joint income, within reasonable
limits, for certainly no money could buy
the -servIoes they ronder. Moreover
they have right to share in determin-
ing what these reasonable limits are"
Now it so happened that had myself
gone through an experience which ena-
bled me perfectly to understand this
feeling. In early life l was for time
in the employ of kind friend who paid
me fair salary, but at no definite Pc
RODS. was at liberty to ask him for
money whenever needed it. This seemed
to me, in advance, most agreeable ar
rangement; but l found it quite other
wise. 1t proved to be very disagreeable
to ask for money it made every dollar
seem special favor; it brought up all
kinds of misgivings as to whether he
really thought my services worth it,
and SO on. My employer was thor
oughly upright and noble man, and
was much attached to him. l do moi
know that he ever refused or demurred
when | asked for money. The annoy.
ance was simply in the process of asking
and this often became so great that
often underwent serious Inconvenience,
rather than ask. Finally, at the year.
end, surprised my friend very mucl
by saying that would accept, if neces
sary, lower salary, on condition tina
1 it should be paid on regular days, as
matter of business. The wish was a
once granted, without the reduction
and my employer probably never kne0
what relief it was to me.
Now, if young man is liable to fee
this pride and reluctance toward a mer
n employer, it is easy to understand ho'
, many women may feel the same even i
Il regard to husband. And l fancy thu
3, those who feel it most conscientious an
/. high-migded women. 1t is unreasonbl
!, to say of such persons, "Too sensitive
I. too fastidious p For it is this very qua
ID ity of finer sensitiveness which me
:" affect to prize in woman and wish
protect at all hazards. The very fa
y that husband is generous, the Vel
fact his income is limited-these ma
bring in conscience and gratitude
w increase the restraining influence
by pride and make the wife less willing
ask money of such husband than if
d. were a rich man or mean one. III
no only dignifed position in which m;
can place his wife is to treat her
least as we'll as he would treat hous
tn keeper, and give her the comfort of pc
VI fectly clear and definite arrangements
r ,Cd to money matters. She will not then
Ii under the necessity of nerving herst
Sc to solicit from him as favor what S
Oa really needs and has right to spen
Nor will she be torturing herself,
the other side, with the secret fear Il
she has asked too much and more tn
they can really spare. She will,
short, be in the position of won
N and wife, nor of child or toy.
= l have carefully avoided using
word allowance" in what l have S;
because that word seems to imply
untrue and mean assumption that
money is all the husbands to give
withhold at will. Yet have heard t
no sort of talk from men who are living
a wife's earnings; from men such
keepers of boarding houses, who worl
little while their wife worked ha
re and from men such as farmers, v
worked hard and made their wives W.
harder. Even in cases where the "
has no direct part in money-making,
faithful charge of her household is
essential, SO beyond all compensation
money, that it is an utter shame /;
impertinence in the husband when
i, speaks of giving" money to his W
,, as if it were an act of favor then w
;nu the business manager of firm pays
iOD' money to the unseen partner who dire
the indoor business or runs the macl