Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1878-07-19
"THE WICKED PRESS"
A Social Chat in the White House.

New York SUM-
"I don't see why people should
call me a Fraud" said Mr.. Hayes,
musingly, as with his legs stretched
under the White House mahogany
he proceeded to peel a banana,
seemingly unmindful of the admir-.
ing glances cast at him across the
table by Minister Noyes and Post
master General Key. 81 have done
my best to please everybody, and
yet they call me a Fraudl" and the
gentleman from Ohio, having com
pleted the peeling process, quietly
attacked the erd of his banana.
"There is no such feeling in the
South, exclaimed Postmaster Gene
raj Key, his mouth full of pineap-
pie. "In that part of the country
you are regarded as a second Wash
ington. You are, sab, 'pon my
word, sah," and lifting a second
slice of the luscious fruit between
his thumb and forelinger, Mr.. Key
gazed at it with rapture.
"Same thing in France" said
Minister Noyes. "You are held
in the highest estimation over
there; everybody has your picture,
and MacMahon has privately as
sured me that he looks upon you in
the light of a fr-fr-friend-of a
very great friend" And terrified
at the mistake upon whose verge
he had been tottering, Minister
Noyes swallowed a glass of ice water
at one gulp and cleared his throat
with emphasis.
81 don't claim to be as big a mar
as George Washington" interjectet
Mr., Hayes, as he finished the last o
his banana, "but, in my tumble way
l strive to do the best | can; and
must say that l object to being
called a Fraud really do" ant
as he announced this idosyncrasy
the ex-governor of Ohio collared
fresh banana, and with dexterou
fingers recommended the business
of denuding it,
81 think you are deceived-il
} fact, | am sure of it," calculated
Minister Noyes, as with half-shu
eyes he dreamily contemplated tn,
smoke wreaths of the fifty.cen
Havana, SO thoughtfully provided
by his well-paid host OF the Whit
House. SIN the whole course O
my life l never heard anybody cal
you a fraud - certainly not ou
: loud"
"Nor l." added Postmaster Gen
eral Key warmly, as he helped him
r self to the last piece of pineapple
"If l had I'd have" here MI
Key snapped so viciously at th
slice of fruit which he held dang
l ling in front of his jaws as to be
: token the worse results to the mls
e guided being who might venture t
j asperse the spotless title of his chic
+, HThank YOU, Kew, thank you,
! exclaimed the de factO principal G
: the government, 81 know YOU
do Just what you say" and he con
templated the pineapple perform
d auee of the stalwart Tennesseea
b with admiration. Sand | am ais
d grateful to you, Noyes, for you
g kind assurance, but you are wrong
|. l tell you, my dear friends, there
d not a day passes but | am calle
is hard names-very hard names"
h "You mem the daily papers,
5, suppose" suggested Minister Noyc
j. after an awkward silence.
: 81 do," returned Mr.. Hayes, sa,
J. ly, 81 do," and with the air of
! martyr be nipped off the end Of
,f third banana.
e "Well," said Noyes, "they're a
.e frauds; nobody reads EN-"
l. "Not worth shucks. | wouldn
, be found dead with one of the
it about me-" vociferated Postmast,
G General Key, as, having finished q
is the pines, he wiped his jowlS, ell
l. waited his feet upon an adiacel
le chair, and, following the examp
io of his neighbor Noyes, lit ore
ut Upmann's "Imperiales."
e "You are wrong again, gentl
1t men, said the host, timidly,
at read 'em. ! know l shouldn't"
TO continued, apologeticelly, Nor
st Mrs. Hayes tells me SO all The tim
n. but somehow ] can't refrain. YC
IS, see, if | didn't find out myself VIII
| they say, somebody would come al
n tell me, SO what's the diGerence?"
H. "You are following a very da
it. qerous course" said Mr.. Moves, ]
Or, proyingly, Every daRgerous, indce
H. and | am much panied to hear
le- it,"
us At this Mr.. Hayes locked rath
ed foolish, and, in u vain attempt