Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-10-13
Humorous Items.

other laundry.
Gentleman: II say, waiter. I've just
cracked this egg. Look at it." Don't
look very nice at that end, sir, must
say. Try the other"
A good listener Enthusiastic young
lady: "You are fond of music, colonel?'
"Aw--yes, think may say like--aw
noise of-of any kind"
What is the difference between man
struck with araazement and leopard s
tail? One IS rooted to the spot, and the
other IS spotted to the root.
The question has been asked: "Can a
Christian go TO the circns?" Eyes, until
he's married, and then in most cases the
circus CONTEST to him" -Andreao Baaar.
''Paper, sirg" asked the newsboy "No,
never read" was the blunt reply. eli
boys, come here" called out the gamin )
"Here's man as is practisin' for the
juryw
A curious sign has been adopted at
Cupar by native baker proud Of his
knowledge of ENGLISH, european loaf
err being printed in large letters over
his door.
An agricultural society otfere a pre-
MUM for the best mode of irrigation,
which was printed Irritation" by MS
take. A farmer sent his wife to claim
the prize.
"Fine nainsook, embroidered, makes
lovely slips tor children" says fashion
writer. Orang peel on sidewalk con-
tinues to be good enough for men,
Pacayu7ae.
The world owes all its energys and re-
fnement tew luxurys-digging roots for
and going naked for clothes, " the break
sast virt' wous innocence ov lazy savage.
Josh Billings.
The proprietor Of a livery stable should
be stable man--of easy carriage-not
prone to be sulky. With such qualifca-
tons he will carryall before him. other
wise his gig is up.
TAere is no such thing as posthumous
charity. There may be equity, or pro-
pricty, in q last designation of earthly
goods, but in real or intrinsic generosity
or benevolence there is not.
DR.. Carver can shoot fourteen bullets
into the bunghole of pork barrel while
the barrel is rolling down steep hill
For such man life can hold but few
untasted triumphs.
We want to know if our invitation to
the Peace Congress entities us to more
than five bundre pounds OF baggage. We
never like to start oasa long journey with
out sing an extra pair of shoes along
A Virginia woman. it is ,tated, sshas
died from the excessive use of tobccco."
aged one hundred years. Dealers
should be arrested and heavily
fined for selling tobacco aged one hun
dred years.
No man can go down into the dungeon
of his experience, and hold the torch of
truth to all his dark chambers and hid
den cavities, and not come up with q
shudder and chill, and an earnest CRY
to heaven for mercy and cleansing
"Can | ask YOU few questions con-
corning the celebrated Damascus steel?"
is the way correspondent begins his
letter. Certainly; we don't care a Dam
ascus anything you want to.-Brook-
ollie Democrat.
''Who was the doubling disciple?' in
CURED the Sunday school teacher. ''Pe-
ter" promptly replied the smart bad boy.
'"No, Thomas said the teacher. sThen
what do the people always say 'Petered
OUT for?" inquired the smart bad boy
HaOkeye.
At festival of lawyers and editors, a
lawyer gave toast: ''The Editor-he
always obeys the calls of the devil" IN
editor responded: 1.-THE Editor and the
Lawyer-the devil is satisfied with the
copy OF the former, but requires the orig
inal of the latter
A clergyman, accosted by an old &C
quaintance by the name of Cobb, replied !:
II don't know you, sir" ''My name is
Cobb, SIR" rejoined the man, who was
about half seas over. "Ah sir,'' said the
minister, "you have so much corn on thai
1 did not see the cob"
She (bewitchingly)-a0. Tn so glad
you're gong to see me to my carriage,
Mr.: Brown lie (fattered)-"Indeed;
and may ask why?' She-"O, because
the girls are so jealous, and want to
prove that do not monopolize all the
good-looking men," Brown satisfied, but
not so happy as he expected to be.
Good name for a lady lawyer-Sue.-
Bone sentinss. For female gambler
Ballstoae Democrat. For female
sheemaker-Peg.-St. Simeon, For a
female messenger--Carrie.- Y. News.
For female mpositor-Em.-Z0rc
For a female soldier--sally. Pass 'er
round
II suppose you have been to your
lodgc?' she scornfully INQUIRED when she
opened the door upon him suddenly ut
midnight. "No, no, my DEAR" Blinks re-
piled, with gushing canuor, 'you see I
stopped at strawb'ry fes'v'l on my way
home-an' the berries soured on nv
stomach
A celebrated actress. whose fresh smile
and silver voice favored the deception,
always called harself "sweet sixteen
She stated her age as sixteen in court as
witness. Her son was directly after
ward called up and asked how old he
was. "Six months older than mother"
was the honest reply.
"Mr. PRESIDENT" said a Buffalo alder
man, II makes der motion as der new
Jail be build on der same spot as der old
Jail what's now standing; dat saves der
money for der land; and 1 makes der
motion as der old Jail not be- pull down
till der new iail ia huilt On va will not h.