The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1878-06-01

Up from the sands, ye codlngs, peep
And wag your tails about.
In her novel of "An Open Verdict" Miss Brad
don SAYS: "Thcre are twenty poets born in a
century and about twenty thousand rhymsters
We honestly thought there were more of us-N.
J. IY@W
A pleasant bit of news is flashed over the wires
from Iowa. An old tramp, weary OF wandering
over the wild world, hung himself to the limb OF
a tree and when found he was very dead. Let
the rest of the grand army of tramps be piously
admonished: 500 thou and do likewise"
"Gath" declares that he would interview Apollo
II he could hold him long enough by the hair
As Apollo is gentleman somewhat noted for
striking the Tyre, the courage displayed in the
declaration cannot fail to be appreciated, says the
Chicago Times.
Study nature and learn humility. As saith the
poet;
De big sunAower may rise above
De modest 'tatCr vine,
An brag about its Sunday clothes,
An put on airs so fine;
But when the winter howls around
An de snow lies at the doah,
De big sunlOwcr, oh. whar am he?
De 'tater has dc fOah
The fashion reporter who wrote with reference
to u belle, "Her feet were encascd in shoes that
might be taken for fairy boots,' tied his ward
robe up in a handkerchief and left for parts I'M
known when it appeared the next morning;
'IIer feet were cnCased IL shoes that might be
taken for ferry boats"
another round Of weeks, and then
The little child Of sin
viii hurdle the forbidden fence
And scoop the pippin in.
And with his martial spirit quelled
By pain his thefs bcget,
He'll clutch his little vest and wish
He had no apple "el.'
rural exchange remarks considerably in eX-
PLANTATION of the editors conduct in church:
The gentleman who attracted attention in
church last week by crying out, ''lloly Moses, y
had no intention of disturbing the congregation.
He had been lacking down carpets on the day be-
fore and Just rs he sat down in his pew he sud-
denly remembered that he had half u paper Of
tacks in his coat skirt pocket We make this ex-
planation in justice to his family who are highly
respectable.
4 pompous attorney, while trying cause,
Was quizzing q witness and picking for flaws"
The witness, who owed him u personal grudge,
Provoked him until he appealed to the Judge.
IL demand, sir, he cried, with fiery red face,
a tttif dllcUIlbH NullC u SIIlp IHlS vast
'Your Honor" responded the meek little man,
"lm paying as Httc as any one can"
The Judge, with frown,
Looked solcmnly down
On the "squabblc' and said, from the bench
where he sat-
1--WE want nothing but silence, and ute of that"
II is some time since our cream" was season.
ed with spicy epitaphs. There is hardly church
yard that cannot afford a few worth copying We
find column in metropolitan exchange, from
which We make Il few clippings:
The following cpitaph is found in an old
church yard in Wales:
Under this stone lies Meredith Morgan,
WHO blew the bellows Of our church organ;
Tobacco he hated, to smoke most unwilling,
Yet never pleased rs when pipes he was filling.
No Tcfection on him for rude speech could be cast,
Though he made our old organ give many blast.
No puiicr was he, though It capital blower;
tie could fill double q, and now lies note lower.
The following is by Byron, on John Adams,
Who died Of drunkenness:
John Adams lies here, of the parish of Southwell,
A carrier who carried the can to his mouth well
lie carried so much and he carried so fast,
lie could carry no mOrc-so was carried at last;
For the liquor he drank being too much for one,
lie could not carry on, SO he is now carrion.
In Crooked lane, ST. Michaers church yard
London, appears the following:
Here licth, wrapped in clay,
The body Of William Wray;
] have no more to say.
The following is TO the memory of a son Of the
Emerald isle:
Here lies Pat Steele
That's very true;
WHO was he: What was he?
Whats that 10 YOU?