Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1878-01-18
DROLLERIEs OF THE BENCH.

Droll things are reported of the
bench and bar in the United States.
Perhaps. all that is said of them in
the newspapers may have a tinge of
exaggeration; but we do not doubt
that there is a considerable sub
structure of truth.
Wearied beyond endurance by the
tediousnsss of lOng-winded plead
er, Ksntuckian Judge put himself
out of misery and his tormentor out
of countenance by suddenly ex-
claiming: If the court is right, and
she thinks she air, why then you are
wrong and she knows you is. Shut
up!
Almost as rude in speech was
Judge Bowling.
What are you reading from, sir?
asked he of a counsel.
From the statute of 1866, Your
Honor, was the reply.
Well, said Bowling, you needn't
read any more; Pm judge in this
court, and my statutes are good
enough law for anybody!
This wOrshipful gentleman piumed
himself upon deciding according to
the equities of the case, law and
precedent to the contrary notwith-
standing; they went for nothing
with him.
Judge Alec. Smith, Western ad-
ministra,or of the law, when a di-
vOrce case was called on, addressed
the plaintiffs representative, and
said: / don't think people ought to
be compelled to live together, when
they don't want to do so. l will de-
cree a divorce in this case; and the
parties concerned were thereupon
declared to be no longer man and
wife. Presently the defendants
lawyer appeared and was not a lit
tie surprised to find all was settled,
that the Judge had decided without
hearing one side, much less both.
He protested against such over
hasty proceedings, and appealed to
the Court to redress the wrong he
had committed. The Court not be-
ing inclined to own itself in fault,
he was informed it was too late to
raise objections; the decree had been
pronounced; but if he wanted to ar
que the case, ''right bad, the court
would marry the parties again, and
let him have a crack for it.
When Miss Amelia DOnnersohley
claimed two hundred dollars from
faithless Augustus Bernsr for breach
of promise, the gentleman justified
his conduct on the plea that after
living under the same roof with the
young lady and her mother for
eight months, he found 1t so impos-
sible to live comfortably with the
one, that he was compelled to cry
off with the other. The Judge in
quired if the mother proposed living
with her daughter after marriage,
and receiving an affirmative answer,
asked the defendant whether he
would rather live with bis mother
in-lsw or pay 5000.
Pay 5000, was the prompt reply.
Said the Judge: Young man, let
me shake hands with you. There
was time in my life when l was in
the same situation as you are now.
Had possessed your frmness, |
should have been spared twenty-five
wears of trouble. | had the alterna-
tive of marryingor paying sl25. be
ing poor, | married, and for twenty
five wears, | have regretted It, am
happy To meet with man OF your
stamp. The plaintiff must pay ten
dollars and costs for having thought
of putting a gentleman under the
dominion of a mother in-law.
The much-married dIgnitaFy was
not so susceptible to the charms of
the sex as his brother, of Iowa, who
refused to fine man for kissing a
girl against her will, because the
complainant was so temptingly pref