davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-05-17
wHr AND nUMoR.

Border troubles Matching wall pa
per.
In what places are two heads better
than onei In barrel.
Why is a scratch on the hand like the
first flight of fedgIingl Bseausc it
is only little soar.
Why is fathers nose like a we'll
trained childa Because it is always un-
der a parents eye.
In the bright Lexington Of Kentucky,
there are no such words as aNo, thank
you, never drink.
Midnight sOliloquy by man who sup
ped on dried apples: Twelve o'clock
and all swell"
Beauty and booty was the cry Of
the young man who kissed the girl and
was kicked by her father.
Why may tipsy man fall into the
river with impunity Because he won't
drown as long as his head swims.
Tom, what in the world put natri-
mony into your headY "WelI, the
fact is, Joe, / was getting a little short
of shirts"
Men are frequently like tea-the real
strength and goodness are not properly
drawn out until they have been IN hot
water.
A little boy weAt to his father cry
ing the other day, and told him that he
had kicked q bee that had spIitter in
its tail.
81 presume you wont charge any
thing for just remembering me" said a
one-legged sailor to wooden-leg manu-
facturer.
It takes 2,l60 bees to fill a pint cup,
notwithstanding a single bee takes up
50 much room in fellows summer tron-
sers leg.
An abandoned wretch afirns that in
engaging wife only ring is necessary
but nothing short of the cash will secure
a good hired girl.
"A man with trade dollar feels as
if he had full moon in his pocket.
But without any kind of a dollar, his
pocket is still lighter.
What blessing the phoncgraph viii
be to editors! The bores can slip right
into the phonograph-room and plead
with the instrument, and the edItoz
can grind it all out afterward-if he
wants to.
Mcguire, of New York, is a cool phil
osopher. On Monday at 8 he found
fault with the fsh-eakes, and his wife
broke the dish over his head. Turning
TO his daughter he said: "Your moth.
er is celebrating our china wedding.
At the end of the first year come.
the '.eotton wedding, explains an ex
change. And that is not the only thing
that comes at the end of the first year
Sometimes poverty comes, sometime
the mother-iRlaw, and sometime
twins.
"What do yoa think of my ney
white sack, Leander." asked Mrs. SpiI
kins, eomplacently, the other evening
"White saek-tually beautiful, m
dear" replied Spilkins, dodging behin1
a chair for protection.
i If the surplss vitality of childhoo
could be bottled up and held in reserve
how handy it would come to a womal
in after life when she goes to pieni
with year-old baby, three baskets an
a husband too lazy to carry smile.
Deacon Norwood Ito Elder Tomp
kins))-.'Yes, sir; man with hop
and with no faith IS just like youn
man in a row-boat who han't got bu
one oar, and rows round and round In
circle and don't get nowhere" Smal
boy lat a safe distancA}-''If he warn
darned fool he'd scull.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-05-17

1t is claimed that the amount report
ed in 1876 was too great, because cer-
tain parts of it were not paying inter.
est, for instance the loan to A. Meyers,
of $4,000, about which SO much has
been said There were some other sums
put in the hands of attorneys for col
lection one or two of which have not
been finally adjusted. Some of the
amounts that were not yielding interest
at the time Hon. M. P. Deady made
his report on tie fund, are now loaned
out and bearing good interest, SO the
available fund is near $685. So, or
an increase during the Democratic Ad-
ministrations of some $6l 900. besides
the distribution of several large sums
of interest to the University at Eugene
City, for its support and maintenance.
The loans to A. Myers, of $4,000
each, or $4,000, were made on property
valued by Rev. L. J. Powell, candidate
for Superintendent of Public Instruc-
ton, at $4,000 In gold coin. His own
signature attests the fact.
The charge that the University and
School lands have been frittersd away,
Is also without foundation. The Uni
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-05-17
sIcILIAx nRICANDs.

The ransom originally demanded by
the bold brigands who, in january,
carried of signor Parish from the large
town of Palefmo, and from the neigh
borhood of his fathers house, was
$4,000. They kept him blindfolded
eleven days and nights in dark hole or
grotto, with an armed brigand constant
ly watching him; but he was we'll fed,
and had goed cigar once a day When
they found that their demand was too
great, they compromised and released
him for $4,000 in gold and 81, 200 in
bank notes; but, as the numbers of the
bank notes are known at every bank in
Sicily, they overreached themselves in
that matter.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-05-17
FROz sHEDD STATION.
sHEDD, Msx 1919

sEEDD, Msy 1879
E3itor DcHoeras;
School began in this place Moadsy, April
2sth, under the most favorable circumstances
and there is now a large and constantly IN
creasing attendance A moro strdious and
well disposed collection Ct girls and bays It
would be hard to fad aay4FAe-e Generally
two or three may Be found in school who
have dispositions to be continaally causing
trouble, but this school is certainly an excep-
ton in this respect. All seem well inclined.
Captain Shedd, Mr.. Porter and Mr. Thomp
son constitute the Efficient board of directors.
They are all men deeply interested in edues-
tional matters.
We understand the people of this vicinity
are talking seriously Of making al addition
of another room to their already spacious
school building, and then employ two teach
ers. This, of course, would add much to the
efficiency of the school
The farmers are jubilant, as they viii seea
get through sowing. Most of them are ex.
pocting to finish this week 4 grand picnic
is under consideration, which would certainly
be appreciated after such long siege Of hard
work. More anon, r J.E.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-05-17
now JAMES WAS ssLET OFF,

81 say, Jedge, said the gaunt woman,
hailing the Court from where she stood,
with elevated voice and a waive of
her long arm, '.ye han't got Jim Carpen-
ter locked up in yer, hev yer
"Is there such man hereq asked
his honor of the clerk.
'Yes, sir-drunk and unable to take
care of himself"
"He's here, said the court.
"Well, I've come arter him." said the
geunt woman. "He's the sole support
nv his family -over in Jersey, and he's
my husband, an / want i'm.
James was brought out, and proved
to be an inofensive person. Mrs. Car
penter brought her hand down on his
shoulder with a bang, and clutched his
collar
"Ken hev i'm Jedgel"
eyes take him."
james gave one appealing look at
his Honor, cast regretful glance in the
direction of his prison cell, and was led
rapidly out of Court.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-05-17
A GIGANTIC INFANT.

On last Monday there arrived at the
Olive Street Hotel, Mr.. Henry Hender-
son, well-to-do farmer of ST. Francois
county, Mo-, with his wife and infant
boy. The latter, though only Is
months cid, tips the scales at 100
pounds, and in spite of its monstrOus
weight is handsome, healthy baby.
1t is perfectly formed in every re-
spect. A number of leading physi-
clans called to see the infant prod
ICY, and pronounced it one of the won
ders of the age. The mother of the
boy is a remarkably fne-looking lady of
forty, and is the mother of eight chill
drer. Before leaving tho city the pa
rents expressed their intention of ex-
hibiting their giant baby to the public
at an early day-St. Louis Post.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-05-17
AGRICULTURAL COLLEGE FUND.
SOME OF rRESTICE's SAYINGS.

A recent writer produces from the
Louisville Journal some Of George D..
Prentice's witticisms, which are not de-
pendent upon time and circumstances,
as most Of them naturally were foa
their point and force Following are
a few Of them:
"To keep your friends treat them
kindly; to kill them treat them often.
He who reels and staggers most in
the journey of life takes the straight-
est cut to the devil.
Men should not think too much Of
themselves, and yet man should be
careful not to forget himself.
A dinner to which man is not in
vited gems rally sets the hardest on his
stomach
There are many men whose tongues
might govern multitudes if they could
govern their tongues.
The doctors ought to escape calumny.
No man living has a right to speak
Ill of them.
The working of corkscrew Is about
the only thing best achieved by indirec-
tion.
The reduction of postal facilities has
gone too far. The mail passed through
town the other day in couple Of
stockings tied over the back of a bull
dog.
A few days ago the freedom of New
York city was presented to Mr.. Van
Buren, in gold snuf-box. There was
plenty of room in the box for all the
freedom that New York has enjoyed
for many years.
There are two periods when Congress
does no business. One is before holi-
days and the other after.
Were it not ungenerous to remind a
man of his natural defornities, we
should inform the editor of the Grand
Gulf 4drsrtiser that he was natural
feol.
An opposition editor offers to bet his
ears On something to our discredit He
shouldn't carry gambling to such ex-
treme lengths.
If the editor of the-isn'ta a rogue,
be ought to bring libel suit against
his own face"
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-05-17

The Bedrock Democrat, published Il
Baker City, says of the Rspabiicaa
candidate for Congress:
Of the hypecriticaI Christian editer,
Hines, we will have somethipg to say
in the future, and here we wish it dis
tinctly understood that any and every
charge we may make aeain kini we
have undeniable proof ick our
charges. He Is one Of tie worst men
in our State, and if be had his Just
deserts be would be working for the
people of our State in 3 criminal caTAc-
ity, instead Of being candidate on the
Republican ticket for Congress. We
know his history and at the proper
time shall give it to the public in broken
aoses
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-05-17

A MINISTER in Connecticut having
married a couple the other day, the
bridegroom asked what his price was.
The pastor replied that the law gave
him two dollars. "Well," said the
young fellow, eff the law gives you two
dollars, here's fifty cents more, so that
now you have two dollars and half.
And before the clergyman could recover
from his surprise the pair were off on
their honeymoon.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-05-17
WELL SAM.

a syrian convert to christianity was
urged by his employer to work on Sun
day but declined. But said the master,
"doth not your Bible say if you have
an OK or an ass that falls into a pit On
the Sabbath day, he may pull him
outp "Yes," answered Hayop, 'sbut
If tho ass has a habit of falling into
the same pit every Sabbath day, the
man should either ELL up the pit or sell
the ass"
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-05-17

A COUNTRY youth, who desired to
know how to become rich, sent shil-
Ling in answer to an advertisement, and
received the following valuable recipe.
"Inerease your receipts, and decrease
your expenditures. Work eighteen hours
day and live on hash and oatmeal
Cruel
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-05-17

WHEN men comes home at night
and sips his tea with his fork. and tries
to spread slice of bread with a tea
spoon, and howls at his wife; "Hey,
Bill, here she goesP' it is very safe to
conclude that that man has met with
sore ifliction, and has been trying to
desden it in some innocent way.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-05-17

A FRENcHMAN, having heard the
phrase, "Tve got other fish to fry"
very readily learned its application.
One evening, after escorting a young
lady home, and being invited TO walk
in, he thought of the above expression,
and excused himself by saying: Il
must go cook some fish"
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-05-17

versity grant only contained 4e,0S0
acres, and more than half of that IS yet
unsold, while there remains more than
l,T50,000 acres Of School land undis-
posed of.
AGRICULTURAL COLLEGE FUND
There was no fund for the support of
the Agricultural College in 1870, from
the sale of lands. The fund began to
accumulate ia 1874, and amounted to
$780, The amount of the fund on
hand now and bearing interest iss 81
600 81, while but few Of the lands be
longing to this grant have been sold.
DRMocRAr.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-05-17
From our regular correspondent
WASHINGTON LETTER.
WASHINGTON, d. G.

Editor Democrat,
an AdJOarning Panic in COngress-Thc wan
Statesman secs mirn9cs Of tomb stones
washington as a sanitarium-wIlat the
New zcalandcr viii do when IL is NO longer
the CapltnI-A scene between n United
States Senator and Cnr DrIver-sOeiaI
Resumption-The belle from Detroit and
another belle from Kansas.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-05-17
MANAGEMENT OF rnR SCHOOL FIND ~.
DER DEM0CRATTC ADMINISTRATION.
PORTLAND, Nav 6. 1873.

PORTLAND, May 6, 1873.
Editor Standard.
These are matters of general public
interest independent of their relation to
the canvass. But aside from this,
great many vague and startling charges
have been made by the Republican press
in reference to the management of these
funds during the last few years, and the
seventh resolution in the Republican
platform has embodied these charges in
the sweeping declaration that the Dem
ocratic party sihas robbed and inisman-
aged the State, School and University
Funds, loaning them to partisan favor
ties on straw securities" Let us see
what the facts arc by the official record
COMMON SCHOOL FUND.
The amount of this fund on hand on
the 18th day of September, 1870, when
the Democracy came into power (see
report of School Land Commissioners,
1870, page l6l was S312, 1885 10. But
this includes So, 1894 20 Of interest due
and uncollected on s40,54 03 of notes
in the hands of the Board (see same re-
port pages l2 and l3l. THIS interest
was delinquent for nearly one
and a half years. Deducting this
delinquent interest and there remained
1906, 400 40. To which add s235 96
in hand of the Treasurer (see report
1870, page H., Total fund September
u, 1870, $306,725 36.
Thousands of dollars of interest, on
loans made by county local agents, was
nncellected. In many cases the interest
was three and four years behind. Many
of the descriptions of land in the mort
cages were not correct and the mort
gages had to be reformed to make them
effective, and the fund was in other re-
spects in great confusion.
The law requiring the interest on this
fund to be collected and annually dis
tributed among the several counties in
proportion to the children In each be-
tween four and twenty years of age,
was passed October, 1865, yet not a
dollar tcaS erer so distributed until the
Democracy took charge. Under the
Democratic Administration there has
been distributed, including 1877, s246,-
SS5 40. The fund has thus been as
sisting to support the schools in all the
districts of the State whore schools are
maintained, and IN a few years more
viii be of sufficient magnitude to sus-
tain free schcel in each of the districts
the greater part of the year.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-05-17

Business notices IN the Iccal .olufsrla
20 cents per line.
For legal and transieift advert dement's
81 90 per square, for the first insertion, and
30 cents per square fer each subsequent M
sertion.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-05-17
Total nmount in ls1n. onlr-


There was due 81, ,205 80, as interest
on this sum, but not collected in 1870,
which should not be added to the ire
ducible fund loaned, as it is made to
appear in the report same p. Il. The
interest had been due for three years
when the amount, 81 ,971 26, was turned
over to the Democratic Administration
in Sept, 1870. This fund, though
small in 1870, was in even greater con-
fusion than the Common School Fund.
In fact, the old board and county treas
urers, who were acting as local agents,
did not seem to know the difference be
tween it and the School Fund, and
consequently got the two funds in some
instances, mixed.
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-05-17

The above is the amount the fund
would now be if 10 distribution Of in
terest had been made or an increase
during Democratic management, inelud.
ing interest of S475,ST9 40, or clear
increase Of the irreducible principal of
s22S, 1894.
The charge of ''straw securities" is
based upon the loans made to ]. B. Nc
Clane, q. Meyers and the West Port
land Homestead Association.
These loans were made upon the GER
tifcates of County School Superintend-
ents, certifying the value of the lands
offered as security. In each of these
cases the appraisenlent and certificate
upon which the loan was made was made
bya Republican. Theloanto to Clane was
made upon certificates of two different
Saperintendents, one of whom was Rev.
L. j. PoaosU, present candidate on the
Republican State Ticket for .Saasrintend-
e1at Of Public Instruction, who certified
that the thirty acres of land in *
Salem, upon which the loan of Sc, $50
was made, was worth $4,000 in gold
coin. So much for partisan faYoritisu"
and ssstraw securities"
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-05-17

STATEMENT OF THE FUND
The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-05-17
UNIVERSITY FUND.

The amount of this fund left by the
Republicans for the Democrats to ''mis-
manage" and ''rob," to quote from the
Republican platform, was as follows:
Amount Of coin loaned (see Rep Board, 1870,
p. III S3,O1T -
Amount OF currency loaned (see Rep. Board,
1870 II IJ.--.....- $50 90
Amount Of coin on hand as per Treas. Rep,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1878-03-28
GEORGETOWN.

THE TEMPERANCE CAUSE is still gaining
ground here, Forrest hall being densely
crowded last night, and many turned away
regularly opened the Barker family enter
tanned the audience with some of their choice
music. The meeting was then opened, and
Mr.. Columbus Thomas led in PRAYER Mr.: A.
sang, "Anti caIomel." Mr.. Berry, president of
the Georgetown Dashaways, stated that it was
proposed to continue the meetings as long as
they received pecuniary aid to enable them to
do SO, and that voluntary contributions might
be given at the door tonight, and also that
collection would be raised at that time. MeSSrS.
Joseph Williams, Jas. Lee, ThOS: Pendel, and
Bud EgglestOn in turn addressed the meeting,
the Barker family and the choir singing be-
tween each address. Charles Nye. as usual,
made stirring speech. Richard Hazel then
addressed the meeting, and many came for;
ward and signed the pledge; MISS Leslie Hazel
Hopkins sang Tie on the red ribbon" which
was followed by the Barker family singing Tie
on the red and the blue" Mr.. Henry Wilson
s sa1s Rev and Ros s
meeting, and 200 persons signed the pledge,
making over 1,50O so far.
KNOCKED SENsELEss WITH STONE:-LaSt
was proceeding to his home, about half mile
from here, on the new road, he became con-
Scious that three negro men were following
him. When at the corner OF 4th and Market
streets stone was hurled at him, which struck
him in the head and knocked him senseless.
A gentleman passing conveyed him to drug
store and DR.. Mcleod was sent tor. FOrtu-
nately his injuries were not serious. There is
only one explanation of these recent and
frequent outrages, which are new to George
town, it is that we have an insufficient num-
Der OF police on duty at one time, and the
rogues and roGghs have found it out ut,os .,.t
fine bass and perch are being caught in good
quantity at the Chain bridge.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1878-03-28
THE LATEST PUBLICATIONS.

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Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1878-03-28
LOCAL NEWS.
Amusements, &C., Tonight.

Amnsements, DC, TO'H1<nt.
National IRedter. -CarncrOSS & DiXey'S
Ministries.
Theater CbDique.-VaTieties.
Lincoln ETdH.-Ilustrated entertainment by
Judge Bick.
German Evangelical Cburch.-Grand fair
and festival
WIZARDS HdH.-COmplimenta Concert to
Mrs. Melvina Marcy.
F0Td's Opera House.-Testimonial to Char
lev Nyp
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1878-03-28

LECTURE ON FINANCE.-Mr VIM, G. Wood
man, an elderly gentleman and banker OF
Wichita, Kansas, of long financial experience.
has been delivering some lectures on the sub
ject, embracing a plan for the refundiny and
which has attracted great attention from the
western press and strOng resolutions of en-.
dOrsement from numerous boards of trade
country. He is making a short sion i'm the
city, and will deliver lecture at Odd Fellows
hall tomorrow night. The lecture will be
free. " w