The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-04-27

1t is human to doubt. Display a
sign with the inscription: beware OF
paint" and nine men out of ten will
draw their forefingers across the newly
painted surface to see if the sign is not
merely "an invention of the enemy"
The tenth man never learned to read.
Mr.. Goodrich, late of Mt. Pleasant,
Iowa, travelling Blue-Ribbon singer,
by strict attention to business has ac-
quired five wives without having fu-
neral or divorce in the family, and is
now the victim of the statute in such
cases made and provided.
-Epitaph in the Dublin Weekly
Times:
We all loved Johnny Leach,
But he glided from our reach,
And yanked himself across the shining river;
Perhaps he's better off,
For he had an awful cough,
And species of congestion of the liver.
Col. Dexter H. Toilet, of Boston,
not knowing that his revolver was
loaded, gave it to his little eight-years-
old boy to play with, and the little fell
low playfully shot his father behind the
ear with it. 1t didn't kill the Colonel.
But that is not surprising. We wouldn't
suppose you could kill man who
would give child pistol to play with
by shooting him in the head.-HaoCb-
Eye.
"A Georgia paper tells of most I'M
fortunate man in that State who has
accidentally killed five men since the
war. One was slain by an AK, that
slipped from his hand; the second was
drowned by the upsetting of boat
which he was managing; the third he
shot through the head, mistaking him
for turkey; the fourth he killed by a
tree that he was telling, and the fifth
he killed at log-rolling. The sixth
man ought to be spry with his weapons.
There is a man in Cambridge who
don't like the new silver dollar. He
was describing it to a friend yesterday:
"On one side of it," he said, sis a
picter of healthy-lookin' gal, but her
nose looks like coal-hod upside down,
and her chin is showed way out from
her face like the hind step of an omni-
bus. On the other side is a sick-look-
in bat with scarf expression onto his
face, tryin' ter fly away with a bundle
of eel-spears."
"A young woman, with a pretty face
and modest ways, took a room in a
Springfield CHI. hotel. The other guests
pitied her because she seemed timid and
unprotected. Before the week was out
three men had called to see her. One
was the husband from whom she had
eloped. A second was the man with
whom she had eloped. A third was a
man with whom she had promised to
elope, but had Tilted. The simultane-
Gus meeting of these four persons was
so inharmonious that all were turned
out of the house.
Now all the air the breath of springtime
holds,
Spring flowers delight and polar waves pro-
woke us;
While sheltered glen and BARNARD fence en-
folds
The wind anemone and Shanghai crocuss.
Long ere the Christian world forsakes its bed,
He crows, as never " Archimedes' screW:'' =
In messy fells% the violet hides its head,
And, like the business men, looks awful
blue.
So, where the nodding ferns in slumber lie,
The purple greens in crimson azure sleep;
And on the calm, unrutfled sunset sky,
The tints of morning midnight vigils keep
The last red grayling-
But it appears to us this is becoming en-
tirely too Tennysonian for the ordinary
mind to grasp. We will save the rest
for magazine article, or sell it to Jo-
seph Cook.
*Whatever fell" is. We are not Just posi-
tive what it is, but we know it occurs very fire.
quently i'll poetry, and we have an idea that it
grows in the woods.
-HaUk-Eye.