The Morning herald., 1878-02-26
SUNBEAMS,
The most curious thing in the world il.
| woman who is not curious.

Although girl may be as proud as
Lucifer, it doesn't always follow that she
makes good match
The husband--'My love, what suit do
you prefer seeing me put on" The wife
your travelling suit my DEAR"
Never take a bull bi the horns, young
man, but take him bi the tale, then you
kan let go when you want to.-Josh BIZ.
lngs.
Many poor woman thinks she can do
nothing without husband, and when she
gets one finds she can do nothing with
him.
Augustus" said Amelia, chow do oys-
ters get any air to breathe when their shells
are closed tight" ''Bi-valves," murmured
Gus.
l sot me down in thought profound, this
maxim wise drew:-Its easier for YOU to
love gal than maik gal love you-Josh
Billings
Father to son just from college-"What
have you learned at your college ?" eve
never learn anything; they never let you
see the newspapers"
A counterfeit $5 note was reported cir
culating around in the town of Attleboro
the other day, and, as a consequence, bust
ness places were generally closed.-Boston
Globe.
A definition of bankruptcy, lately given
by an English Judge, is reported to have
been when man owes a lot of money,
and lawyer and accountant divide the
estate between them"
''Is there hell" asks Canon Farrar.
Well, Canon, just you get home from the
lodge about l A. NJ without latch key
and see for yourself. .-New York CONNER
cial.
A young lady in party, imagining she
was treated with too much Indifference,
felt so piqued as to remark, "she would
not be made CIPHER of by anybody" 81
often sigh for you," replied waggish gal
liant.
A modern William Tell: Here, grand
pa, let's play William Tell. I'll be
Mr.. Tell, and you may play you're
my son, and stand over there by the mir
ror while 1 shoot this apple off your
head"
A foolish young fellow, boasting in COM
pany of his travelling abroad, was asked by
one present how he made his way. "By
my WITS" replied the other. "Indeed "
says he; "then you must have travelled
very cheapy."
Mamma, where do people go when they
die?" "My dear, I can't tell you just
where" "But don't you kaow?' "How
can know, Nellie? Mamma has never
died" 'Of course not, but haven't you
studied geography"
"Colonel," said Spicsr, as a ong-winded
individual with large ears finally left the
office of the Delaspare Insurance Company,
"that man is donkey" "Oh, no." said
the genial colonel, mot donkey; only an
ear relation"
A school inspector, in talking to the in.
FAINT class, used the word "abridgement,
and Immediately explained that, as some
of them might not know the meaning of
the word, he would say that it was a
synonym of the word "epitome."
At recent Sunday school concert the
superintendent was talking about idols,
when, to ascertain whether the children
were understanding what he was saying,
he asked, Children, what is an idol p
"Being lazy" was the loud and quick re-
sponse of one of the members of the juve-
nile class.
A short line engineer informs CORES.
pondent of the Madisonville (Ky.) Times
that young man, with his head out of
the car-window, went to kiss his grand
mother good-by and the traiu pulled out so
fast that he kissed an old negro woman
at the next station.
At a dinner of a provincial law society
once the president called upon the senior
solicitor present to give as toast the per-
son whom he considered tho best friend of
the profession. "Then," responded the
sly old fox, 'T'll give you the man who
makes his own will"
"Will you always trust me, dearest ?"
he asked, looking down into her great blue
eyes with unspeakable affection. She
was saleswoman in an up town shirt
store, and she told him business was busi-
ness, and he'd have to pay cash every
time. .-New York Commercial Advertiser.
An outside passenger by coach had his
hat blown over bridge, and carried away
by the stream. "Is it not very singular"
said he, to gentleman who was seated
beside him, "that my hat has taken that
direction?" "Not at ALL" replied the lat
ter; ''It is natural that a beaver should
take to the water"