The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1878-03-27
COOL STRAY HUMOR.
chambers Journal ]

amusing sayings and doings.
Toward the close of the fight O
Inkermann, Lord Raglan, returning
from ticking leave of Genera
Strankways, met Sergeant carry
ing water for the wounded. The
, Sergeant drew himself up to salute
when round shot came bounding
over The hill. and kn0cke his forage
cap cut of his hand. The man
picked it up. busted i! on his knee
not muscle of his countenance
} the while. "A neat thing that, my
manr said Lord Raglan. Yes. my
lord,' returned the sergeant, with
another salute, 'bus a miss is as
good as mile The Commander
was not surprised by such an exli.
bition of sang froid. being himself
good that way. He was batly hurt
at Waterloo; and. says the Prince
of Orange, who was in the hospital,
j was not conscious of the presence
of Lord Fitzroy Somerset until
heard him call out in ordinary tones {:
'HalloO Don't carry that arm away
till have taken off my ring !! Neih-
er wound nor operation had extort
ed groan from his lips.
Tie Indian prides himself upon
taking good Or ill in the quietest of
ways. and from a tale told in Mr..
Marshall's Canadian Dominion"
his civilized half brother would seem
to be equally unemotionaI. Thanks
mainly to certain Metis or half
breed in the service Of the Hudson
Bay Company, Sioux warrior was
found guilty Of stealing a horse, and
condemned TO pay the animals val
ne by instalme2ts, al one of the
c0mpany's forts. Ga paying the
last instalment, he received his
quittance from the man who had
brought him to justice, and left the
office. A few moments later the
Sioux returned, advanced on his
noiseless moccasins within a pace
of the writing table, and leveIed his
musket full at the half breeds head.
just as the trigger was pulled, the
Metis raised the hand with which he
was writing, and lightly touched the
mnzzle of the gun; the shot passed
over his head, but his hair was sing
ed off in broad mass. The smoke
clearing away, the Indian was amaz-
ed to see that his enemy still lived.
The other looked him full in the
eyes for an instant, and quietly re-
sumed his writing. The Indian si-
lently departed unpursued, those
who would have given chase being
stopped by the half breed with go
back to your dinner. and leave the
affair to me-"
When evening came, few whites,
curious to see how the matter would
end, accompanied the Metis to the
Sioux encampment. AT a certain
distaace he bade them wait, and ad-
vanced alone to the Indian tents.
Before one of these sat crouched the
baffied savage, singing his own death
song to the music of the tom-tom.
lie complained that he mustnow say
goodbye to his wife and child. to
the sunlight, to his gun and the
chase. He told his friends in the
spirit land to expect him that night.
when he would bring them all the
news of their tribe. He swung his
body backward and forward as he
chanted his strange song, but never
once looked up-nOt even when his
foe spured him with his foot. He
only sang on, and awaited his fate.
Then the half breed bent his head
aud spat down on the crouching
Sioux, and turned leisurely away--a
crueller revenge thar if he had shot
him dead.
tits not given to every one to play
the philosopher, and receive for
tunes Bullets and favors with equal
placidity. Horatlos are scarce. But
there are plenty of people capable Of
behaving like Spartans where the
trouble does not touch their indi.
viduality. How can l get out Of
this? asked an Englishman up to
his armpits in bog, of passerby.
1 dinna think ye can get oot of
it, was the response of the Highlan-
der as he went on his way.
Mistress of herself was the spouse
of the old gentleman, who contrived
to tumble off the ferryboat into the
Mississippi, and was encouraged to
struggle for dear life by his better
half shouting. There. Samuel;
didn't tell you so? Now, then,
work your legs, your arms, hold
your breath, and repeat the Lords
Prayer-for it's mighty onsartin,
Samuel. whether you land in Vicks-
burg or eternity -
Thoroughly oblivious of court
manners was the red cloaked old
Kentish dame who found her way
into tho tont ,ao,o;odn H., A.oo,,