Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1878-10-02

Take away women, what would follow
The men.
A rural inventor has patented a
padded gatetop to facilitate courtship.
a western lawyer included in his bill
against his client: "To waking up in
the night and thinking about your
case, IS.
SANKEY'S prompt reputation of his
mo,her, when she found him in Eng
land, Is considered great triumph of
mind over mater.-Philodelphia Bulletin.
ST is sever thus" said Alexander
when he cut the Gordian knot Beef
Allah moved, /" said the Turk when the
hail killed his catte.-Nem York Mail
DO dogs snore ?" asks an exchange.
We don't know, as we never fool around
dog long enough to find out. We
know however that mules do not
Ne~ York Express.
The late George Robbins, we'll
known auctioneer, said in one of his
advertisements of an estate that he had
tor sale: " In that favored region the
moon is always ut the full"
A Kentucky farmer writes to the
local newspaper, complaining Of the
low price of dairy produce, and adds.
i shall no; sell my eggs for eight cents
a dozen--it don't pay for the wear and
tear OF the hem
An Old granger, who came into town
to purchase apiano for his daughter,
asked the agent if he hadn't one with n
handle in tho end, $50 we can all give
1t turn once in II whie.-Norristown
Herald.
A girl in Kentucky struck her GRO
quet partner on the head with mallet;
brain-fever set in, and the young man
nearly died The girl was kept under
arrest until his recovery, and when he
got well she married him, and now she's
sorry he didn't die
When a barefooted boy steps on the
end of n pin, he may with indisputable
propriety be said to be surveying this
world from very lively stand point.
The man who can hum hymn while
jointing stove-pipe is good enough to
walk into full membership Of any
church, without probation.
"Nisi Prius Judge" wrote the editor
of the Belfast Me- Age in an obituary
notice Of Judge Dickerson. and the in
teligent compositor naturally set it up,
"Wise, pious Judge"
They sit upon the stoop: ills nj gbt--
Her curls upon his bosom Ito,
The moon Is shining soft aud bright,
he while she whispers coy and shy,
40, Glen, tits time to shoot that white heck.tic"
He was almost undressed when his
father caught him, but the defense was
convincing. l don't want to go in
swimming with 'em. l only wanted to
see the bad little boys who 60 in swim
ming on Sunday get drowned
When Mary went to heavens gate
Saint Peter met her there
And asked the reason why she came,
AS there she knelt In prayer.
| Poor Mary spoke and groaned with pain,
| As though she had cramp;
! 80 foolish virgin sir. was l.
A.fooling with lamp"
-Chicago Tribuns.
A tiny thread of gold supporting a
solitaire diamond is the latest style of
engagement.ring. 1t is so everlastingly
sweet and so easily broken.
The woman-and all of the sex do
who glances under the bed ut night be-
fore retiring, evidently has in mind the
proverb, Look before you Sleep
Philadelphia Bulletin.
The Picayune believes it will not be
long ere the railway-conductOr will be
calling out: "All aboard for Jerusalem
Excursion ticket to Bethlehem Re-
freshments atGolgotha -
want yer stove put up, ell !" said
Scroggins to his wife this morning.
"Well, where is it? Trot it out. Pm
ready. Oh you want it blackened
first Well, ] won't do that. III put it
up, but damfile clean it !"
A man who suddenly comes in con-
tact with a lamp-post or big tree
knows more about the stars and hea-
venly bodies in n twinkling of the eye
than Prof. Proctor will know if he lives
until Ben Butler is elected president
"Ma," said an inquisitive little girl,
"will the rich and poor people live to-
gether when they 60 up to heaven"
ayes, my dear; they will all be alike
there" Then, ma. "why don't rich
and poor Christians associate together"
"Sal)y had better put you to bed my
love; you are getting sleepy"
Suppose you were out in Jungle
somewhere" said Strobel to Billikins,
while walking through the Zoo, and
should see tiger come charging down
upon you, with fur up and mouth open,
what would be your first thought"
"Well, l rather think" replied Mr.. B.,
that for about two seconds I'd con-
clude Marthy AIMS mother had just
got back from her trip to camp-meet-
ing. It would be comfort, though,
] ..i.ar, I found out that I'd Lnnr M Is