St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1878-12-27
Squibs.

An undertaken buried a man named
Button, and rendered his bill: One
ButtOn-hole, 5000.
"What Td like to know" said a
School-bOy, sis how the mouths of
rivers can be so much larger than their
heads"
The difference 'twixt tweedledum and
tweedledee is illustrated by the fact
that the rich man with great appetite
is called an epicure, and the tramp with
great appetite is called glutton.-
Rome Sentinel.
A gentleman died not long ago who
had been addicted to his cups. One
who was not aware of his habits was
making inquiries of the family physi-
clan, in relation to his death, and among
other matters asked about his spiritual
condition. at was excessive" replied
the doctor; ''that was what killed him.
-Ne,o Bedford Standard.
About this time the young lady of
the country learns through a series of
deep, dark plOttings that her young
man wears number four boots The
same young man will be sorry that he
prevaricated, when he tries to thrust
his number seven feet into beautifully
worked pair of number four Christmas
slippers. -ROckIand Courier
Is a man careful of his provisions
when he bolts his food ?
The duty on kid glOves-to have those
with four buttons at least.-LOlUeH
Courier
1t don't feel good when man goes
INTO the dark pantry, and attempts to
| diva hiC hnn1 - / L. IL.
| jar where the fried cakes are kept, to
plunge it into foot of raspberry jam.
1t isn't good for the jam either.-Syra-
cuse Times.
A Nevada tramp fell into derserted
mine which afterwards yielded him So
600. This is one of the ''lucky fallsn you
read about. We have a kindly feeling
for tramps, and would like to see them
all fall into deserted mine-previded
the mine was not less than five hundred
feet deep.-NOrristOW Herald.
We thought long ago Max Strakosch
would come to some bad end. Saturday
night he visited the office of the Colum-
bus, Ohio, Democrat for the purpose
OF rebuking the editor, on account of
some structures. Allen o. Myers, the
editor, assaulted Mr. Strakosch and
kicked him down stairs. The Injured
man is consulting a lawyer and also a
physician.
1t was very honest old Dutch Judge
Ill Schoharie county who listened for
several hours to the arguments of coun-
sci and then said 'Dis case has been
Terry ably argued on both sides, and
dere have peen some ferry nice points
OF law brought up. l shall dake dree
days to consider these points, but shall
eventually decide for de blaintiff.n
A ROckland man gave a vest into his
wife's hands to be repaired, and when
he came home to dinner she showed him
three pencil stubbs, a piece of chalk,
four watch keys, nineteen matches. six
pahts and four coat buttons, receipt
for making milk-punch, buckle, a
blank lottery ticket, a small handful of
cloves, part of roll of lozenges. three
seat coupons to last winters lecture,
poker chip and chew of gum that
mad slipped down into the lining of the
vest through hole in the pocket. 1t was
the most startling disclosure the Rock
iand man had seen since he read the ci-
pher dispatches. .-Rockland Courier.
"Ah, by George" groaned young Mr.
Lethered, sinking wearily into an office
chair, "ah, by George, my head aches
fearfully." POSSIBLE z" asked his en-
ployeT, old Mr.. Hardfax, with look OF
curious interest and sympathy. ssPossi-
ble Something must have got into Il. u
And then tor "a long time nobody said
anything, and the room seemed to grow
about fifteen degrees colder Burling-
ton HasOkeye.
: The "Mill river is higher than eve,
known, not excepting the great flood )
, says the telegraph man at Northamnto1
Mass, Are we to understand that tn,
oldest lnhabitant of Northampton was
a contemporary of Noah?-Porfl0nG
/ (Me.) Press. '''''''
Question The man going from Je
; Fnsalem to Jericho fell among what
nsignt M fnpll He fell among thorns
: him. gu" 'uoAe'