The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-03-19
Which is the best way to build 8 store
A story at time, stupid.

A contemporary asks: "What is Chris
tianity?" Poor fellow! We suppose
he can't afford to keep dictionary.-N. Y
Mall
Why is the money you're in the habit
OF giving to the poor like a newly -borr
babe? Because its precious ittle.-M. Y.
Telegram.
The general impression seems to be that
one ~ umbrella for 400 inmates of the
county house is a small allowance. Rome
Sentinel.
Switzerland has one COW to every three
persons, and yet only one person in thirty
takes horn
The following may be seen on tomb.
stone in town near Dublin
Here lies the body of John Mound,
Lost at sea and never found.
| A Texas man got mad because waiter
handed him a napkin the other day. He
said he ''reckoned he know'd when to use
han'kerchier without hayin' no hints
thrown out"
Said a bright little daughter of three
summers: "Papa, what is picnic p
Papa. "a party in the woods, dear"
Daughter, "But what do they pick 2"
Papa, my darling, they pick nix, !"
"Mck, said bricklayer to his laborer,
''if you meet Patrick, tell him to make
haste, swe are waiting for him." "Sure
an l will" replied Mick; "but what will I
tell him if l don't mate him ?"
"Pa have Mr.. Jones' eyes got feet ?''
"Wby, my boy?" because heard man.
ma say to Mrs, Doolittle that at party
the other evening, Mr.. Jones eyes followed
her all over the room"
A pot of lard exploded at Kingston the
other day, and lean woman immediately
got fat. She got it all over her, from head
to foot, and looked as if she had just taken
trip to Grease. se.-Norristown Herald
"Sam," said one little urchin to another,
recently-'Sam, does your schoolmaster
ever give you any rewards of merit?' II
spose he does," was the reply; she gives
me lickin regular every day, and says
merit two."
A lady of fashionable distinction being a
subject of conversation in Robert Halls
presence, some one said, lis she not q
great belle2" 81 should think So" said
Hall, ''for she is noisy, empty, and
brazen."
II will now offer you Rubens," said
the auctioneer, "a gem in its way" No
bid. The auctioneer passed it, and taking
up another picture exclaimed: Come,
gentlemen, here is a Rembrandt by the
same !"
An aged man said: eff husbands only
had any sense, they'd never have any
trouble with disobedient wives. never
did, an I've been married nigh on to fifty
year. Why, always tell my wife to do
just as she pleases, an she never fails to
do it,"
How shall we utilize the Chinese ?'
solicitously inquiries contemporary.
They might be sawed ana split and satu'
rated with oil, for kindlings, or could be
peeled, and the covering made into ear.
muffs for INDECENT Esquimaux. RockIand
Courier.
'Do you know" and she looked at him
with two-ton scowl, ''why you are like @
rainy day?" lie asked if it was because
she couldn't get along without him occa-
sionally. 'Tts because I'd like to see you
clear" said she. He never carried any
stones in his pocket for her dog aftei
that.
An illiterate person who always volun'
teered to ''go round with the hat" but was
suspected of sparing his own pocket, over.
hearing once hint to that effect, replied
"Other gentlemen puts down what they
think proper, and SO do l. Charity's {
private concern, and what give is nOthin!
to nobody"
Three Irishmen, who had drunk prett,
freely of whiskey at tavern in Dublin
were loud in their praise of its virtues a,
they reeled along the banks of thu
Litfey. One of them had just declared
that "whiskey was meat and drink to
man," when his foot slipped and he fel
into the river '"lhere, Pat" said one o
his friends, you are tully provided Tor
you had meat and drink, and now yo,
nave washing and lodging"
A Yankee genius out West, conceivinl
that little powder thrown upon SOM
green wood would facilitate its burning
directed a small stream upon the smoking
pile; and not possessing hand sufficient,
uuick to cut this of at q desirable moment
lie was blown into pieces. The corone
thus reasoned out the verdict: ut can
be called suicide, because he didn't meal
10 kill himself; it wasn't visitation o
God, because he wasn't struck by light
uing he didn't die for the want of breath
for he didn't have anything left to breath
with. It's plain he didn't know what b
was about, 80 1 shall bring in Died TO
the want of common sense
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