The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1878-11-23

n 4 CGCcHI iIidl vi S"So -
ness on the stand was under examination
rs TO what he had seen in the defendants
domicilc, which he said he had visited ga
number OF times" "Did you ever see
any spirits there, or anything you regarded
as spirits?" asked the presiding justice:
"Why, yes-I don't know but | have"
was the reply of the witness. "Do you
know what kind of spirits ?" EYES"
.sHow do you know ?" CT kinder smelt
it.' "Weli. now" said the Judge, straight
eninc himself for the convicting answer,
which he supposed would be given, Evil!
YOU please tell me what kind OF spirits 1t
was?" "Spirits O. turpehtine!"
A tourist while passing through STRAIT
ford on-Avon saw a rustic sitting OH a
fence. "Tha!'s ShakSpeare'S house, isn't
it," he asked. pointing to the building.
"Yes.'' Ever been there!" NO.
&" How long has he been dead ?" Don't
know "Many people come herc:',
EYES; lots" "Bcen to the housc?'
"No; never been to the house" "What
did he do?' "Don't know" Drought
M here? v Eyes" "Did lie write z"
ooh, yes; he writ" "What was it; YOU
must know ?" "Well," said the rustic,
II think he wrote for the Bible"
A new plan OF heating street-cars has Just
been put on trial. The invention consists
Of two reservoirs, one on each side OF the
car near the middle, from which an orbit
steam pipe extends around the car. The
reservoirs are filed with steam, or water
heated BY steam, and are said 10 maintain
a uniform comfortable temperature in the
car for a twc-Iours' trip, at q cost Of about
two cents day. The Richmond line, at
least, might use the invention with profit
to themselves and incalculable comfort TO
passengers for their long, freezing trip.
4 young man of this city said something
to a friend about "the sere, the yellow
leaf" and Immediately lost the faculty OF
speech, and has not been able to speak a
word since Dear friends, let not the
teachings of these terrible incidents be
thrown away upon us. Let lis lay our hands
upon our pocket-books and swear that when
we feel that we must say such things we
will 60 out into the woods, or climb down a
well, and say them where nobody can hear
u.s. Globe Democrat.
A woman usually carries her purse in her
hand in order to Ue sure she will not lose it.
And, somehow, she never remembers, until
after she has the whole police force looking
for the purse and an advertisement in the
paper offering reward for its return and
no questions asked, that she laid it down on
a counter in 4 dry-goodS store While she
stepped to the shawl department to see II
another woman's new dress was really new
or an old one fixed oyer.-HicE.o' huE
Ron.
Misfortunes never come singly," sighed
an old Democrat upon reading OF the de-
struction OF Bergner & Engefs brewery in
IoJ oh G ITircf ~ n 1nip0r Ip-
feat at the polls, and now the burning OF
10000 barrels of beer!" and he went into
saloon to drown his sorrGW.-NOrriStoo1n
Herald.
The Emperor William aad Prince Bis
marck are fairly overwhelmed with threat
ening letters. Never mind 'em, William.
,never mind 'em. We get them too, lots of
':bem, but they hardly ever sue. Stand 'em
of, just as you've always done, till times
are easier.-Hsra!d and Presbytsr.
tCalino, who has been very i'll, is ordered
by his doctor totake carriage exercise daily
for:an hour. Wrapped up in fars, he en-
tets 1.-THE vehicle, and the coachnan sets OH
at twelve. m!le-an-hour gait. Mot so
fast, any friend, nat so fast" says The inva-
lid. .s,nr nv hours ride will be over before
I get any good OF it:"-bfench Pdfss'.
The Duke of Sutherland will probably
lose $4,000, 900 by tke GlasgoW-B Bank fail
ure. How foolish a s1an is to depGaft SO
much snoney in one baak. He should Ills
tribute his,7Yea among dozen banks. If
two thinSls.of all the bsslks in this country
were to fail we don't suppose our less
would amount to one haa as much as the.
Duke's. &owisto,on HesN.d.
A. Oakley Mal, once Mayor of this city.
and subsequently, voluntary ambassador to
London, has hees promoted TO be city edi-
tor of the Work.. This shes,d kindle am-
baion in the bEeast Of all ssaall boys and
cGese them to carsy high the hsnner with
the strange device, "Excelsaer p Gra-
pixie. SIX. .. Il
Z A gan in Meridass Minnesota. went to
church. and, marcGiag into the pulpit.
knocked the preacher down. Men who
don't haow how to Go their worsdfpping
better than that had better stay at hsne.-
Herald asd Prysbyter.
After trial OF the electric light fl the
London Tines Office, Mr.. Walter annouzses
hat he Is satisfied with it, and will intte-
duce it in the composing and machiner
rooms of that paper Cincinnati CONNER
sfal.
Dean Stanley says the American news
papers are not yeracious. Somebody has
ocen telling on u.s. OSHKOSH Christian id
,0cGte.
81 don't like winferlD said one pick
Docket to another. !" Every body has bis
lands In his pocket
A French provincial play-bill announces
hat |" The roles OF thieves will be played by |
mateurs OF the town.
sleight Of hand-Reiusing marriage pro-
osal.