The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-11-09
VARIETIES.

lecture.
-Private) Did you ever see u tooth
powder?
There isn't a lawyer in Brunswick
County, n. c.
-Laziness is premature death. To
be in no action is not to live.
Sc Ccatings'' is the name of a
material resembling homespun.
"A friend of education-The free
knowligist.-BoSton Transcript.
go, for the touch of a vanished
hand" sighed one-armed soldier.
The rice crop of Louisiana is pro-
nounced to be the largest ever har-
vested ..
Fifty windmills were lately shipped
from New York to New Zealand, to
raise water on farms.
"A bakery of Albany, N. Y, sends
four thousand cans of cakes to Bombay,
India, the first of every month.
Sitting Bull wants to come back to
the States for fresh hair and little
exercise.-PbiladelphjG Chronicle.
"A happy mother of male twins
enthusiastically refers to her treasures
as her "sweet boy and boy."-Stana-
ford AdUOcdte.
The Lutheran Church in Beaver
City, Pa, has an oil well on it's prem
Uses, and the flow is sufficient to pay
all the church expenses.
Chinese famines occur every thirty
three years, and the prudent Celestial
feasts for thirty-two years and eleven
months and then begins to lay up for
a hungry day.
Isn't it a curious fact that Stanley
never had dream while in Africa?
Some Americans would have made
most of their discoveries that way
Free Press.
eve never saw q man. says an
exchange, "who thought it a sin to
steal an umbrella" Then you never
saw a man whose umbrella had Just
been stolen.
"A young Georgia negro wanted to
borrow his fathers mule to 90 to q
funeral, but being refused, he deter
mined to have-a funeral at home, and
shot the old man.
n NCN lltlu IJoIlIC NOLldu anu IL
pitchfork hustled seven tramps out of
q barn so fast that they didn't haye
time to bandage the stabs in their legs
until they reached the woods.
documents have recently been pub
lished which show that the Mexican
Government gave permission for Amer
ican troops to cross into Mexico in pur-
suit of hostile Indians in the year 1866.
Special agents show that the Gov
eminent has collected only S199, 99S for
timber stumpage from 1856 to 1877,
while the value of timber stolen during
the last ten years is estimated at S20,-
100000.
If Mr.. Edison will only invent a
process for making confectionery out
of sugar and five-cent cigars out of to-
bacco, he will be entitled to niche l.,
Sec. A, temple of fame.-NeO London
Telegram.
Twelve thousand different works
have been published in regard to the
American war. A good deal of this
war literature first saw the light in
Europe, but the bulk appeared in the
United States.
benjamin Franklin was not too
proud to carry home his own turkey,
and we can mention about million
Others who are in the same fix. In
fact they carry home another mans
turkey if they could.
One of the great needs of this coun-
try is vest pocket deep enough to take
in the whole length of the extra cigar,
so man can look his fellow square in
the eye and say: "No, I'm sorry, but
this is the last, and | have already had
it in my mouth. ''-Breaktast Table.
THUS one proud sheet of the inte-
rior of Pennsylvania to another: "Will
the egotistical ass who sings the edi-
torial pencil for that queer specimen
.sfjournalistic monstrosity known as the
Era please define typographical error,
and henceforth we shall call it by its
true name"
"A cat bit Mrs. Crittenden of Mid
dletown, Conn, two years ago. She
was strangely i'll for time and has
since been almost helpless, her nerv-
GUS system being thoroughly disar-
ranged. She cannot speak without
stammering, and some of her symp-
toms are like those of hydrophobia in a
mild form.
The Boston AdUertiSer has a column
of reports from the manufactures of
New England which shows that mills
have been shut down are everywhere
starting up, while other mills are
doubling their time and employing new
hands. The Advertiser'S reports indi-
cate a great revival of manufacturing
industry.
The latest novelty is barometer
handkerchief" The design printed on
it represents man with an umbrella.
In fine weather the umbrella is blue,
in changeable weather grey, and in
rainy weather white. The secret lies
in printing this design in chloride OF
cobalt; but the first washing removes
this sensitive chemical, and detroys the
iOarometric proprieties.
"A well-dressed young man entered
an uptown Office one day last week, and
said to one of the occupants: "Sir, | am
making a collection of small coin. Have
you any pennies in your pocket" The
gentleman addressed drew from his
pocket handful of pennies and handed
them to the stranger, who examined
them, closed his hand, and saying
Stthank YOU" walked out. The Gen