Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1878-09-20
PRICE 5 CENTS.
Items of Interest.
10 end to them-a lady's rings.

No end to them-a lady's rings.
Promising men-notorious borrowers.
Seldom original, but great in quota
tions-Wall street.
Which is the best of the four seasons
Tor arithmetic ?-The summer.
London possesses nine cemeteries,
with total area of 2, ,225 acres.
There were 100 miles of tunnel in
Great Britain in 1877, which cost about
$50, 100000.
The English pawnbrokers must not
take any article in pawn from person
under the age of twelve years.
The young lady should not sing
Home, Sweet Home" for the benefit
OF her loyer too early in the evening.
The stranger-zzhapr at our table
may be good man, but he is also a
cannibal, for he eats the -four of the
family.
The yearly revenue of Denmark is
about $12, 920, 900, and its expenditure
$11, 445, 900. Its public debt in 1877
was $51, &c., 900.
A recent advertisement contains the
following "If the gentleman who
keeps the shoe shop with the red head
will return the umbrella of young Lady
with whalebone ribs and iron handle to
the slate-roofed grocer's shop, he will
hear of something to his advantage, as
the same is the gift of a deceased mother
now no more with the name engraved
upon it.
HOW THE CATCHER WAS CAUGHT.
Full tall was he, with sinewy muscles.
And shoulders broad and full and square,
With limbs designed for mighty tussles,
And the regular prize-ring crop of hair,
And he played, with skill exceedingly fine,
The catcher's place in Western nine.
He was rich in all the manly graces-
very Apollo from head to heel;
And, though he was good atthe stealing OF bases,
He never was base enough, surely, to steal.
Afoul, indeed, his pulses stirred,
But he never was foul in deed or word.
As fair was she as the sun uprising,
blooming maiden, with luscious lips,
VIII Sc dainty completeness really surprising
Down to her rosy finger tips;
And she often sat on the stand in the shade,
And saw the games which that catcher played.
And whenever he seized on a hot one nicely,
Or caught foul with agility,
She clapped her hands, for that was precisely
The sort of thing she wanted to see;
For much did this blooming maiden pine
For the catcher who caught in that Western nine
Wherefore it was meet, when the games were
over,
The catcher, SO brave and manly and tall,
Should frequently play the part of a lover
In game considerably older than ball;
And If an occasional error be made,
Twas simply because with miss he played
For, spite of her love, this maid was addicted
To ways most coquettish and naughty and sly
And the man of the diamond field was restricted
To taking loves favors as 'twere, on the fly
And though she protested at kissing, doubt
If the maid by the catcher was ever put out
At that dangerous hour, while yet the sun fingers
Above the horizon and Nature is dumb,
He would hold her small hand between his
jammed fingers
And stroke her soft hair with his stiff -jointed
thumb
And often their walks were extended so late,
Twas eleven O'Clock when she crossed the home
plate
At last he mustered up courage and told her
How fondly he lOnged to make her his wife,
And she rested her head on his manly shoulder
While he eagerly asked "would she give him
a life?"
And he limited with emphasis, leaving no doubt
That, should she refuse him, he'd surely strike
out.
Twas the umpire Love that gave the decision
The maiden permitted her lips TO be kissed,
And then, looking up with slightly blurred
vision
She blushingly murmured Why, yes-Il
assist !"
So the game to a right happy ending was
brought,
And thus, as it happened, the catcher was
caught
-Vandyke BrOtrn.