South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1878-04-12
WIT AND IIUMOR.

WIT AND IIUMOR.
V,Always pay as you CO." said an
old man TO bis nephew. But. uncle.
suppose haven't ything to pay with =
sThen don't CO.
wA child being shown the picture
of Daniel in the lions den. began 70
cry Don't cry. pet said the mother,
God won't let them harm hair Of his
head: oh, Iain't crying for that; but
just see Athxt Itsle lion-Daniel is so
small It sQn't got a taste
HThey say Sss Indian name for an
editor is. iwe.rae 'ta-che-rcsh he-ha-
how, That's what we always thought
it was. 1t means tired and hungry
probably. f!sI sno hos fys.{ b. dIaf
'-.,ls "a 'Iia u B ss--l---s i5f1o sssri9 -
VEddie had lately attended CIR.
Gus for the arst time, and on the Sun
day following was taken by his grand
a mOthsr W eb,Echs Exile gazed around
in some wonderment for few moments.
wien enc organ bsgSs to pay he turn,
ed 70 his ssranafaethse and said, in a
. whisper. C randma. Will ttiegc be cir
Gus. so can see the lions'ss Why no,
Eddie, this is church. Well replied
the little man, it's circus music, any
way o., ia, = .. '. -t y. Ia
.s.rtsals sluus ~ 80 -u i+u-s -
y A SENSIBLE GIRL.- They were seat
, ed together side by side or the sofa in
the parlor. in the most approved lover
fashion--his arm. encircIing her taper
waist, etc. ra's
Lizzie said he. you must have read
my heart ere this; you must know how
dearly love you.'
Yes, Fred she answeredvery calm
by, 'yeu have certainly been very at
tentive.A
But, Lizzie, darling, do you love meF
Will you be my wife?'- .sasln
Your wife. -Frsdi ofall things =
No, indeed; nor any one else's'
Lizzie, what do you r,eanS'
Jast what I say, Fred. I've two
married sisters
Certainly; and Mrs. Hopkins and
Mrs. Skinner have two very good nus
bands, believe.
so people say ,.but wouldn't like
to stand in either May,sor Nellie's shoes
that's alb. tk
Lizzie, you astonish me-.
Look here. Fred, Pye had over TWEEN
ty three sleigh rides this winter, thanks
TO you and nay other gentlemen friends
Fret WINGED a little here. whether at
the remembrance Of that unpaid livery
bill, or at the idea of Lizzie's sleghing
with other gentlemen friends, cannot
possibly aver.'IIow many do you think
my sisters have had? Not the sign Of
one, either of them. Such pretty girls
as May and Nellie were too, and so
much attention as they used to have
Now, Lizzie
I'm fond of going to the theatre oc.
casionally, as well as to lecture or con-
cert sometimes, and shouldn't like it
if proposed attending any such enter
tainment, to be Invariably told that
times we're too hard. and my husband
couldn't afford it, and then to have him
sneak of alone
Lizzie, Lizzie
t And then. if once in a dogs age he
did condescend TO go with me anywhere
in the evening, | shouldn't like to. be
left to pick my way along the slippery
places, at the risk of breaking my neck,
lie walking along unconsciously by my
side. I'm of dependent, clinsing ma
ture, and need the protection of a
strong arm
Lizzie, this Is all nonsense
I'm the youngest of all our family.
and perhaps I've beena little spoiled
At all events, know it would break
my heart to have my husband vent all
tho ill-temper which he conocals from
the rest of the world on my defenceless
head
But Lizze, promise You that Il
oh, yes, Fred know what YOU arc
going 10 say-that you will be different
but May and Nell have told mo time
and time again that no better husbands
than theirs ever lived, and I'm inclined
TO believe them. No, no, Fred as q
lover you are just perfect, and shall
awfully hate TO give you up. Still, II
you are bent on marrying, there nrc
plenty of girls who have not married
sisters, and who are not wise enough 70
profit by their example, ii they have.
And don't fret about NE, for 1--WE no
doubt can find Some one to fll your