Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1878-04-17
WITTICI0NO.

ONE frog is sufficient to make . spring
: A VERY little word will sometime
cause big fight.
WHY is . setting hen rarityf Be
cause it's on nest.
SoNa of ladies making their toilet
"Combing-yes, we're combing!"
Docs are very faithful; they will sticI
to bone when everybody else has de-
serted it.
The season for fine sunsets il not yet
arrived, but We noticed some very hne
onion sets in market-OI CITY Derrick.
/ The schoolboys in California when
asked, How il the earth divided!" an.
swer, "By earthquakes"
FLIES toll not, neither do they spin,
yet they have the first taste of all the
best gravies in the land.
IT is said that sliding down hill has
been the direct cause Of over coo deaths
this winter. The obvious moral II, al.
ways slide up HILL Worcester Spy.
A STANDING JoKE-G Getting up to Of.
fer your seat to q lady in car, and then
having her give it to her husband
~ y. Com. Advertiser.
"IN selecting 4 husband" said Mra
Pufer, "above all things choose = man
of cultivation" This remark narrowed
the girl to such an extent that she went
off and married farmer.
! IF the breath exhausted in . two
hours speech ON the tariff was compress-
ed it would pump out forty-one GALLONS
/ of water from q we'll .twenty-nine feet
deep.-DetroH Free Pres.
/ A DUBUQUE chemist says he can
make milk "by emulsifying fatty mat
tiers with artificial serum" Milkmen in
the business do it much more expedi-
ciously with chalk and water.
! Mr.. LARKIN TURNER, of Merriwether
county, Georgia, took his first dose Of
medicine when he was 100 years old.
Fatal stepl lie only ten years after
that-Norristosc Herald.
"YoU must pay me FIVE millArds Of
| francs," says Russia to Turkey. Most
willingly" replies Turkey, "only lend
! me ten francs now and add 1t to the
amount"
! A BROOKLYN genius advertised Z lee
ture entitled "Ingersoll, in He'll, BY an
Eye Witness" and the police ordered
him to remove his obnoxious placards
from the streets.
EXTREMES meet" in Salt Lake
high official, who has Just married .
mother of 60 and her daughter OF l6.
By the way, what relation are mother
and child n0wf
The Detroit Free Press calls that ex-
cellent LADY "Mollie Tramp, n D."
Draw your club, Doctor. Hit him ON
the shins and let his miserable brains
out.
WE saw young man with two heads
on his shoulders the other day, but
didn't consider it much of curiosity.
One belonged to his girl.-BrkaAsre
Courier.
! A LONDON paper thinks that BY 10
siding in Europe an American girl can
gradually "get rid of her war hoop"
American girls don't war hoops now
Boston Post.
"DoN'r you think" said . husband,
in mild form of rebuke to his wife,
that women are possessed BY the devilr
Yes" was the answer, "as soon - they
are married"
A DETRorT mule has been named
George Francis Train. The mule, how
ever, can easily be distinguished from
Mr.. Train by the shortness Of it, eazA-
Chioago Times.
A POLICEMAN Of Washington says that
he has not seen 4 drunken man In the
streets of that city for moro than year.
That is nothing remarkable-in police
man. Daw6Usy NsUs
HORNETS have more 6ght in them than
anything Vt their size, but there y No
method in their madness; they will
pitch into meeting house when they aIe
furious Just a anxi0usly - they will
into sleeping baby in it, cradle.
RANDE, the Illinois murderer, b -
signed to the h0rse-cOllar department n
the state prison ct Joliet. 4istAke. In
the eternal fitness of things II ought 10
have been the halter depaTtment-Ns1
York Nail.
DENTIST TO old lady about purchaiag
some false teeth): 1Foe naaticatios.
my dear madam, they can only b sar-
pcssed BY nature herself" Oid lady-
40 laws doctor, don't cass noteiag
about the mastication, II lean only chaw
with Boston Post.
gym go'n TO spend every cent what
/ l bring YER home fer striped stOckingA
an ther amt nothin' to eat In the hOu1e,
is what drunken man was telling . bar
bers pole when policeman arrested
him the other day.
i "OMi tell NJ. ecoty ssrala:
with thoes raddy hps q thine,
Tell ~ fondly. tel - eftes,
J Then Is sops : saps ss1 as11sd,
"A Tss. e. ,1ss1.s ,s*1 - ~ - sss. -
ysss-As's GanAh
i Boz IHGERsoLL aaked pssasher
whether the fatted calf wss nale q ~
male. " Female, Of course" rul6ed ~
preacher, " for I IN now talking - -
male" which uas consideEed = excal-
lent sell on the wicked Bob.
i A NEw YoHK clergyman anxi0nsly
inquiries: "Will heavcn b crowd9af'
Considering the fact that The pesson whc
| il morally sure Of going thers has Z sc1l
only shout the si1e q . waIped -,
there il likely 70 b. ron ~ iAzDe
number Of liberal minded pea az
Fsyos Tmss.
4 Ex-sEsAros WADE Aad snns q1ear
kipu In his mind. He was : 1fN ~
liever IN spiritualian, snd kDo1Qd r.
\ death q ! nero change q sCaa8 ~.
other strikinx peculiafisy - - 11Und
Be entcrtained q dtsinG foe = e1esps
He usod to ny Often tat - - r
much resuect ~ 1ontfsb a - Il -
hsd fos ! rhoeosrafh ~ oalle1
4 4 CAT beloogjng - : fally a.
| Hill - IeachsA ~ ~ - a 11 M
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