The Centre reporter. [volume] (Centre Hall, Pa.) 1871-1940, 1878-04-11

only fourteen pounds, has earned so,
600 for his mothe- IN two years. She
calls II The widows mite.
OH has been struck IN tho Black Hills.
For the benefit cf gentlemen who have
been interviewed by the natives ~ that
region we hope ID In hair oil.
/ We cordially agree with the captain Of
The vessel thai brought the CleopastEa
obeiisk iEto the Thames that Il MT
pleasant 10 have \ needle IN toe.
The Italian exploring expedition,
which attempted tn penetrate into the
interior of Africa, has been attacked by
I the King oE Bhoa. aud compelled 10 Fe-
turn t0 tlie coast.
Mr.. Brandt, q manIbcr Of the Min
nenota Legislature. accepted bribe Of
$50. gave Il 70 the clerk, and exposed
j tie corruption, which related 20 the
supply Of books ior the public schools.
"What dad the prisoner first strike
Won for h" casually asked the judge Of
/ the complainant with a bandage over
hie eve. /" He first struck me for five
dollar bin. your honor, i" was the feeling
reply.
A foolish fellow residing near New
/ York. has Issued chsllenge 70 any man
ia America 70 smoke cigars. Henley
SAYS he has smoked 100 Ia tWenty-three
I hours, and can beat that. He desires 10
wager $500 Do Rl 900 on the result
Montgomery Qusen's rnenaBerie has
been sold in Louisville by the sheriff
An elaDd went Tor $205s p zeba $3.50;
liens sIfl0 each. a leonard so: hgeuas
! sli each; war; hog. $3.50; an elephant,
sI 500; \ camel, Si30; = royal tiger,
900; and rhihocerous, s. 600.
In kpeaking og q perEosls b fanits,
Pray dout fnEEet yoaT 0gn;
ReEneEnber, thosa With homes OF giass
should seldom tilroW q etone.
five have noshing else 40 DO
Bat tAlh cf oahHrs' siu,
Ils ba;ter we e9mmcDoe a. hone,
Ard from fhHfPotnt hesia-
The following is a San Francisco ad-
vertisement "CoFrespondence j. solic-
lsed from bearded ladies, Circassians, or
other female curiosities, who, in return
for true heart and devoted husband,
would travel during the summer months,
and allow him 10 tike the money mt the
door,"
Truth Is always consistent with itseli,
and needs nothing 70 help II out 10 II
always near az hand. and sits upon our
lips and is ready 10 drop out before we
are aware whereas lie is troublesome,
and sets n mans invention upon the
rack. and ono trick needs n great many
more 10 make il good.
Snipkins refused 10 got his wife A new
hat. and soon after his little girl came
iu and sud /" Mamma, wont yon buy
ne . monkey 10 play with when you 60
doun toa-ug't ssNo. dAEliDE-wait tai
you are older, sni then inArry one, as !
did. I" replied the grief-ssricken wife, her
tears bursting out afresh.
One dAy, man put together parts of
various insects and submitted them 10
Agassiz as a rare specimen He also
pretended not to know 60 what species
il belonged, and asked the prufesaor 10
ten, him. II vas April Fools Day.
| Agassiz gave a single glance at the OBJ
! iect and. hooking no, said " Hum-bug. "
/ 81. Nicholas tEs
A man, in early railway days. Was ta-
ken 10 see the performance Of q locomo-
tive. he bad never known carriages 10
! lie moved except by animal power.
Every other explanation failed 10 make
I the 4aiattar clear 10 him. After long ne
fection. lherefore. and seesng no posi-
BILE. escape fnom the CONCLUSION, he ex-
! claimed. confidently, to bis companion,
/" There must be horses insidei"
John Rhodes. of Housslow, England.
/ dressed himself aR N tran1p. denied him
asslf ths necessaries Of life, and took 20
the roaA He lately died. and his for
time was fonni 10 be over El00.0 0Da
The man beoneathedi Il % various metro
| pofitafl charities. Asiuilar instance H
eeeentricitv occurred in Marseilles The
obinrt of the miser was 10 build an aqae-
duct 10 eanFey water into the city free,
ana II wa done. Daring the life Of the
| Frenrhman be was ridiculed, despisaG,
and. like Stephen of old, came near be-
ing stoned On account Of bis rags and
his meanness. 6em
TIE Montpelier I yt:) argus tells this
rat story: For some time past Erastps
Chase, of Calais. has been troubled With
swarm of rats, which have attacked
his cattle and eaten holes in their hide
The other night his hired man went into
\ the barn lust M season "a sec q SWARM
| ar rata emerge frnm d. hole, and killed
eight at once. a few moments after
! vounR heifer was seen 10 plnnge madly
aboat and examination revealed an
enormous rat on its hack. eontentedly
sucking from hole which i had made
in the animals hide. Poison and other
methods have been restored 70. but with
tThis rnule," remarked the livery
Stable man, as they passed the stall
~lfere che sleeping animal was leaning
nn against the partition, dreaming OF an
Eden wherein there was but one mule
and a thousand tirnid men. " this mule
liz 4 kicker" asThis one p innocently
inquired the young man, laying his hald
uraa the mule 90 be sure that the pro
per animal was indicated, This -
| The livery man said he didn't mind the
loss of the money (as the youngnaan dad
not take out the fancy rig h@ was going
10 look atl, Cor he could more than make
that up on the hearse and carriages
as soon as the remains came down; but
1 what he hated about IL was having the
roof of the stable mussed mp 50 where
the young HAL NtAe aAsN'es~A'
sswhy, my dear, what is the matter ?
What can you mean? You look so de-
pressed. II cannot be-and yet-oh, re-
heve this killing snspense Ale1ander,
have you failed = said his wife, with
clasped hands. % Nc, my dear; my
credit is vet unimpaired, and business is
looking up." "You cant. mean TO say,
dear. that your old pain in the head has
come back. s'No." - 's You haven't
had 10 pay the note for. your brother
Joseph :" "No. F" g Have yOu-now
tell me, Alexander Bidlack, have you
had another attack OF vertigo ?" No. "
srHas your cashier broken his Murphy
pledgeP" "No."7 - Now know-I
expectedit&F knew il all the time-i
Felt sure il would be So Mr.. DebOnair
has asked for SeraphinA r :, No, moth
ing of the kind, q Then tell me, with
out waiting another minute, what has
happened; 7 can bear it; let me know
the worst" "Well, that button / told
Won about has got tired Of hanging on by
one. thread, and here it is.-Etn1tra
Gasette. as