Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1878-01-26
How lgc Came 10 be Married.

And 4 hunting we VIII 90.
Eyoyy EEc Came 10 be Married.
1t may be funny, but I've done it.
I've cot rib and a baby. Shadows
departcd-oyster stews, brandy cock
tails, segar boxes, boot jacks, abscond-
ing shirt buttons, whist and dominoes
Shadows preseut-hoop skirts, band
boxes, ribbons, CATERS, long stockings,
juvenile dresses, tin trumpetS, little viii
low chairs, cradles, bibs, pap, sngar
tcats, paragoric, hive syrup, caster oil,
Godfrey's cordial, soothing syrup, rhu-
barb, senna, salts, sqil!s aud doctors
bills. Shadows future-More 9 pound
babies, more hive syrup, etc, etc. III
Just tell you how got caught l was
always the darndest, most tea cuStard,
bashtul fellow you ever did see; it was
kinder in my line to be taken with the
shakes every time | saw pretty gal
approaching me, aud Id cross the street
any time rather than face one; 'twasnt
because | didn't like the critters, for If
/ was behind a fence looking through
knot hole, l couldn't look at one long
enough. Well, my sister Lib gave a
party one night, and | stayed away
from home because | was too bashtu to
face the music hung around the
house whstling odd Dan Tucker, dan
cling to keep my feet warm, watching
the heads bobbing up and down behind
the window curtains, and wishing the
laundering party would break up so |
could get to my room. ! smoked a
bunch Of cigars, and as it was getting
late and mighty uncomfortable, l con.
cluded to shin up the door post. No
sooner said than done, aud soon found
myself snug in bed. Now, says |, let
her rip. Dance ill your wind gives
out! And cuddling under the quilts,
Morpheus grabbed me. | was dream
ing of soft shell crabs and stewed tripc,
and was having good time, when
somebody knocked at the door and
woke me up. Kap again. laid low.
Rap, rap, rapT Then heard whis
pering, and | knew there was a whole
raft of gals outside 'Rap, rapl Then
LIB sings out, Jack, are you there?
Yes says |. Then came roar Of
laughter. let us in,' says she. 4
won't, says |, cant you let fellow
alone! Are you bed? says she. 4
am, says |. Get up says she. i
won't, says /. Their come another
laugh. BY thunder! | began to get
riled. Get out, You petticoated scare
crow! l cried; cant you get beau
without hauling a fellow out Of bed ? |
won't 90 home with you'll wont, so
yon may clear OUT? And throwing a
boot at the door, | felt better. But,
presently, oh! mortal buttons. | heard
still, small voice, very much like sister
Lbs, aud it said. Jack, you'll have to
get up, for all the girls things are IN
there! Oh, Lord, what pickle! Think
OF me in led, all covered with shsw!s,
muifs, bonncis ana cloaks, and twenty
girls outside the door waiting to get in!
If had stopped to think | should have
pancakcd on the spot. AS II was, |
rolled out among the bonnet wire and
ribbons in a hurry Smash went the
millinery in every direction. | had to
dress in the dark-for there was a crack
in the door,and girls WILL peep-and
the way l fumbIed about was death
on straw hats. The critical moment
came | opened the door and found
myself right among the women. 'Oh,
my Leghoru! cried another aud they
pitched in-they pulled me this way
ahd that, boxed my ears; and one bright
eyed little piece, Sal her name was
put her arms around my neck, and
kissed me right ou my lips. Human
nature couldn't stand that, aud | give
her as good as she sent. 1t was the
first time | ever got a'taste, aud il was
powerful good beievf | conld have
kissed that gal from Jtaius Cesar TO 4lh
of July. Jack, said she, we are sor-
ry to disturb You, but wont you see me
homer Yes said |, i will l did
do il, and had another smack at the
gate, too. After that, we took kinder
turtle doviug after each other, both Of
us signing like a barrel of new cider
when we were away from each other.
Twas at the close of 4 glorious summer
day-the sun was setting behind dis
tant hog pen-the chickens were going
to roost-the bull frogs were commenc-
ing their evening songs--the pollywegs
in their native mud-pnddles, were pre-
pairing themselves for the shades of
night-and Sal and myself sat upon an
antiquated backlog, listening to the
music of nature, such as tree toads,
roosters and gruntiDg pigs, and now
and then the mellow music of a distant
jackass was waited to our ears by the
gentle zephyrs that sighed among the
mullin stalks, and came' heavy laden
with the delicious order of hen roosts
and pig styes. TheSlast lingering rays
of the setting sun, glancing from the
brass buttons of solitary. horseman
shown through knot hole in tbe.hog
pen, full in SAILS face, dying her hair
with an orange peel hue, and showing