The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1878-10-17
FIapdOOdIe JobbernowIs.
pIslInrnIshed -Fiats:,

The dear people are becoming terri
bly, demoralizsd as they discover that
the wonderful stories the fiapdoodle
jobbernowls have been sending out
over the country are contrary to the
lEddctions of experience and are moth
ing more nor less than marvellous film
fans without any foundanon whatever.
They see that our profound financial
schemes for the relief the country have
originated in the prodigious aud fertile
brains of some Of the most selfish, dis
honest and INSCRIPTIONS of dema-
gogues, who have sent them out for
the express purpose OF bamboozling
the average hspdoodle Stat" that his
vote may be secured and some high
and mighty jobbernowl be put into an
Office. The dear people also discover
that the present ''hard times" are not
the first our country has passed through.
They find that during the year 1887
business of all kinds was woefully de-
pressed and the "cry of labor was
heard throughout the length and
breadth OF the land. The shrinkage IN
values that year have no parallel in the
history of this country. Nearly every
bank was forced to suspend while hun
dreds OF the largest mercantile houses
in the land failed. In New Orleans
alone that year failures to the amount
of $27, 600, 900 took place within two
days. Thousands of men were thrown
out of employment and wages of all
kinds were lower than ever known be-
fore or since. So great was the distress
that year an extra session of Congress
was called to try and devise some plan
by which it could be relieved. That
cheerful body met and succeeded in
accomplishing its object about as well
as the great and good government /
alluded to some time ago did in pre-
venting an eclipse of the sun. You can
not legislate prosperity into country
and Congress succeeded admirably In
doing nothing. Now, the dear people
earnestly desire that some high and
mighty fiapdoodle jobbernowl rise and
explain why this thusness in 1887.
They find after a careful examination
that the government at that time was
not only entirely out of debt, but sctu-
ally had a surplus of $40, 900, 900 in
the treasury. The patriots of the
country were not paying cent of in
understanding capitalist" and wicked
Shylocks had not even been dreamed
OF, and yet strange to say, OF virtuous
jobbernowls, there were ''hard times"
in the land. Will some lamb-like,
''iatn jobbernowl make the desired
explanation2 1t will also be we'll for
us to explain the ''dark and mysteri-
Gus ways of the dear people where
the elections have been held of late.
They utterly ignored our ticket. am
satisfied we have made a mistake in
advocating "soft money" The pee
pie of this country want "honest hard
money" and l have a pan by which
I'VE can satisfy their absurd desires.
My plan is to do away with all paper
money and issue nothing but silver
coin coin to be of the same size
and weight as the twenty-five cent
piece now in circulation. This coin is
10 be legal-tender for all dues, and
by the government issued in denomi-
nations ranging from one to one thou
sand dollars, and to facilitate and
manu- NhO pOAbatiOh Va
Of money cheap, it may be well to is
sue several million of these coins In
denominations of $40, 900, $25, 900 and
500, 900 each. For sums less than
dollar copper will be used. submit
this plan, for which charge So 90
current funds, as being far superior 20
the paper money theory, and take it
that every sensible man in this ccun-
try will agree with me. This silver
lat poney will wear longer Than pa
per. It fs-hot so easily counteifeited
and is not near so liable to be destroyed
by FIRE and water, and above all, the
unterrified Democrats and sun
washed Republicans cannot say we
pre- not "honest, hard money" patriots.
ZOE made great speech the other
light. 1t was the effort of his life,
ut he Ngnally failed to tell when be
vas going to clean himself up and
ave his shoes BACKED, and the vast
Prong of thirteen persons were disap-
Pointed. After the speech he retired
TO bed an6, calmly covering himself
with Pomeroy's Democrat,
"Dresmed very wontirous dream,
he dresmpt that upon the hastings he did
The OATS daEzled, 'rahed' for him and SIN
A he proclaimed each China leaf a fiat dollar
BILL"
HARD BRICK.