Helena weekly herald., 1878-10-10
No. ~
HumOr Of the Hour.

uumOr Of the Hour.
South Carolina will now cease cultivating
Rice Philadelphia Bulletin.
We'dlike to see Gail Hamilton gnaw water
melon off the cob.-N. Y. Express.
The French Republic is s years old, and it
grows better and Gambetta.-Rochester Dem.
The oyster season opens with fewrawr,
and yet it puts an end to the clammers of the
past season.-Phil Bulletin.
The Buffalo Eapress speaks of cat ''talk-
ing Spanish on the back fence" Danish, he
means-the Scratacat and Scraggycat-N.
Y. Graphic.
A quart of milk every day, as it is said, will
fatten the thinnest individual. Dear, dear,
why don't Aleck Stephens keep COW p
Phil Chronicle Herald.
And now the girls begin to come in from
the country, and the old gentleman's pocket
book looks as though it had been sat down on
bya splice -driver.-N. Y. Express.
The list of Saturdays bankrupts in Chicago
fills an entire page of the Inter- Ocean. Their
available assets foot up about $4 80 and an
old umbrella.-N. Y. Com. Adv.
We would like the address of one young or
old lady in America who doesn't firmly be-
lieve that she could 60 upon the stage and
make perfect success.-Detroit Free Press.
, A Chicago girl left Cape May the other day
wearing five different engagement rings She
goes in for troy weight instead of love. This
is one of the Detroit Free Press weightest
iokes.-N. Y. Com. Adv.
When you see man sitting on the dock
from sunrise to sunset and not catching
fish, it's safe to presume that he will visit the
fish market, and then 60 home and tell Won
derful stories about his days sport.-N. Y.
Express.
'sNo dead fish are allowed to be sold in
Germany" The Germans buy their salt
mackerel alive, but it is puzzle to know how
they manage to keep eardines from dying
when so many are packed in box.-Nor-
ristown Herald.
An infant who will insist on bowling and
kicking after being rendered the last tooth
brush and the only gg-beater in the house,
sadly needs that regulated motion of the ell
bow which Solomon invented and patented
Detroit Free Press.
The ministers at Old Orchard camp meet
ing would not hold service because the BOs-
ton and Maine Company ran Sunday trains.
And yet if you want to teach erring children
the way they should 60, you must first train
them up.-Phil. Bulletin.
care grapes healtby?" asks an exchange.
AS fruit, opinions differ. George Washing
ton, Christopher Columbus, Noah, Napoleon
l., and Mary Queen of Scots ate grapes, and
they are all dead now. Draw your own con-
clusions -NorristOwn Herald.
One of the best cures we know of for small
pox is to have a fellow poke bis head in at
the door of the patients room and whisper in
q stage aside, ''Is he dead yet? I'm after
that ulster! !" We have been there and know
what it is to live just to spite q fellow.-N.
Y. Com Adv.
It is reported that at the close of a green
back meeting in q Maine town the other
evening; collection was taken to pay the
orator Of the evening for expenses incurred.
The hat was passed round, and when it was
emptied it was full of pieces of paper in
scrfbed, 'srhis ID twenty-five cents" ''This
Is fifty cents" etc., to the amount of several
dollars. The speaker was Disguised.
The average boy is not afraid of work. He
will labor hard for six hours to make peach
stone ring, the value of which is not over ten
cents bushel, and will carry trunks 10 hours
day for minstrel troupe for an admission
ticket worth 26 cents. If the same boys
mother asks him to perform an errand occu-
pying fifteen minutes time he growls and
threatens to runaway from home and become
pirate.-Norristown Herald.