davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-02-05

Ga A grave magistrate was sitting at
the table between two coxcombs, who
took tinto their heads to attempt MAX
ing him the butt of their ridicule.
Gentlemen" said he, 81 plainly per-
ceive your design but to save unneces-
sary trouble, must beg leave to give
you just idea of my character. Be it
known to you that am not precisely a
fool, nor altogether knave, but as you
see) something between both."
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-02-05

Ca Brown had been in love with
young lady, and asked permission to
call her by the expressive name of some
animal, and it was granted on condition
that she should have the same privilege.
On leaving Brown said "Good night,
dear" GOOD night, bore" she affec-
tionately responded. Brown has taken
serious affront at the young lady's ex-
preston.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-02-05
Very Considerable.

An elderly gentleman, say about
seventy winters, was taking his noon
cup of coffee at Mrs. Harrington's few
days since, when much younger friend
suggested that coffee drinking was very
injurious. Is that soY" inquired the
veteran; well, now, you sit down and
tell me about it, not that am much in
terested on my own account, but i
should like to tell my father, who is
about ninety years of age, and who per-
sists in drinking coffee"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-02-05

"a A little Athol boy, guilty of some
misconduct, upon being asked why he
could be so naughty replied that he
thought he was not doing anything
wrong. "That's no excuse" said his
mother; thinking doesn't help the
matter" "Well mamma" said he,
what's the use of having thinker, if
you can't think 20
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-02-05

Ia A lawyer the other day went into
barber's shop to procure a wig. In
taking the dimensions of the lawyers
head, the barber exclaimed, Why,
how long your head is, sir ~ Yes"
replied the legal gentleman, "we lawyers
must have long heads" The barber
proceeded about his vocation, but at
length exclaimed, " Why, sir, your
head is as thick as it is long!" Black
stone WINGED.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-02-05

Eg Well, may hope, then, dear,
that, at some future tine, 1 may have
the happiness of making you my wife ?"
" Yes, hope so, I'm sure" she replied,
a" for Pm getting tired of sueing fellows
for breach of promise. "
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-02-05

gDT " 1t is curious, doctor, that every
time smoke after dinner have some
thing dazzling in my eyes. What can
you do for that ?'' "Eh,n said the
doctor, with smile, 'don't smoke"
The patient hadn't thought of that.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-02-05

IMPORTANT NOTICE. = The subscriber
Il late OF the firm of Rhoades x Smith, would
respec fully inform the citizens OF BLAIN
and vicinity, that he has opened a WAGON
MAKER-SHOP, and is prepared to make new
wagons and repair old ones at short notice, and
at from TEN TO TWENTY per cent. cheaper than
the old firm.
Ss- Give me call. Satisfaction guaranteed.
Blaln, August 8, 1867
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-02-05

Ey A meddlesome old woman was
sneering at young mothers awkward
ness with her infant, and said: 81 de-
clare, woman never ought to have
baby unless she knows how to hold it ~
" Nora a tongue either" quietly respond
ed the young mother.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-02-05
A SSIGNEE'S NOTICE.
DOLLAR-AND.A-HALF FOR TEN CENTS.

Stoddarts Musical Library Just publishing IL
pages. fun size. best and mOsr popular music for
10 cents. New and popular songs. dance and In
strumental Music. operas, hymns. etc. etc For
sent IN addition to above, If ordered from the
publishers
asst 70S Chestnut st., Philadelphia.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-02-05

81 A little boy was asked the other
day if he knew where the wicked finally
went to. He answered: "They prac-
tice law spell here, and then go to the
Legislature"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-02-05

eg- A servant girl never moves with
such alacrity as when she is slowing
away u broken dish under the ash heap.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-02-05

DRINTING of every description neatly ex.
L eeuted at the Bloomfield Times Office
reasonable rates.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-02-05
American and Foreign Patents.

huOhiShh anu AOiCi5h sOOhOos
GILMORE & CO.. Successors to CHAPMAN,
W H0SMER & CO., Solicitors. Patents pro.
cured in all countries NO FEES IN ADVANCE
No charge unless the patent is granted No fees
for making preliminary examinations. No addi-
tional fees for obtaining and conducting re-
hearing By recent decision OF the Commits
sloner, ALL rejected applications may be revived.
Special attention given to Interference Cases be-
fore the Patent Office Extensions before Con.
gress, infringement Suits in different States and
all litigation appertaining to Inventions or Pat
ents, Send Stamp to Gilmore & Co., for pamph-
let Of sixty pages -,
Contested Land Cases prosecuted before the U.
s. General Land Office and Department of the
Interior. Private Land Claims, MINING and
PRE- EMPTION Claims, and HOMESTEAD cases
attended to-. Land Scrip in 40, 30, any 100 acre
pieces for sale. This Scrip lis assignable, and can
be located In the name of the purchaser upon any
Government land subject to private. entry, at
Land Warrants. Send Stamp to Gilmore g. Co.,
for pamphlet of instruction.
ARREARS OF PAY AND BOUNTY.
OFFICERS, SOLDIERS and SAILORS of the
late war, their heirs are in many entitled
to money from the Government OF which they
have no knowledge. Write full history of service,
Enclose stamp to GILMORE Il CO., and full re-
ply, after examination, VIII be given you free.
All OFFICERS. SOLDIERS, and SAILORS,
wounded, ruptured, or injured in the late war,
however slight, can obtain penson by addressing
Cases prosecuted by GILMORE co, before
the Supreme Court OF the United States, the Court
of Claims and the Southern Claims Commission.
Each department. OF our business is conducted
in aseparate bureau, under charge OF the same
experienced parties. employed by the old firm
Prompt attention TO all business entrusted to
GILMORE 4 CO., is thus secured. We desire to
win success by deservingit.
Address: GILMORE &CO.
629 +. Street,
Washington, ID. G.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-02-05
VICK'S
FLOWER AND VEGETABLE GARDEN

is the most beautiful work of the kind in the
fine Illustrations, and six Chrome Plates OF
Flowers, beautifully drawn and cOoTed IRON ma.
ture. Price 90 cents In paper covers; 500 in ee-
CANT cloth. Printed in German and English.
Vck's Illustrated Monthly MagaZine-32 pages,
ilne ILLUSTRATIONS M m Golored Plate in every mum
Vick's CatalOgue-300 Illustrations. only cts.
Address, JAMES WICK, Rochester, N. Y.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-02-05

I AIDES AND CHILDREN will find a
i 4 splendid assortment of shoes al the one
price store of f. Mortimer.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-02-05
5000 agents W09sted

To subscribe for the Agents Journal A hand.
somely bound "a page Journal, brim fun Of inter-
est TO Agents. Every Agent should see it.
send Postal Card for specimen copy Address
AGENTS JOURNAL, New York. 35 6ml
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-02-05

I AIDES addicted 10 the habit of ntem-
perance are invited to seek information at a
private home where medical attendanee and ali
comforts are provided. For information address
Mrs. w. II. NICHOLSON, Box 27l2. Philadelphia
November, 49, 1877
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-03-13

The bills already accumulated in Congress
amount to over COCO. These, however, repre-
sent but small portion of the legislation of
this country. An able statistican. who has
studied the matter, announces as the result of
his investigation that 10000 new bills are
brought before our State legislatures each
veal, of which 10000 annually become laws
America, therefore, is far from being
the lawless country that travellers would
represent 1t. If our people have no
respecto for the law, ct Is not the fault
Of our legislaturesovho are exceedingly lib
eral IN the matter OF acts and statutes, and
give us n supply of law exceeding, perhaps
he general demand for this article. Ten
Thousand acts Of the Legislature and five or
six new constitutions year ought to suffice
for the Geeds of growing country like this .
ought to fully re-establsh its prosperity aud
trade Notwithstanding these overwhelming
proofs that our legislatures are nobly per-
forming their work, a prejudice existS against
them in the minds of the people, and de-
mand has been made that they meet only
every other year; indeed, some perspns go SO
far as to say that one session a decade is
more than sufficient Such Is the reward Of
men vino seek to give the country laws, and
plenty Of them.
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-03-13

The Richmond Dispatch has always hee,
| one OF the strongest supporters Of the Mo1ett
register law, has always predicted its com
plete success az a financial measure
The following, from the Disputch of March
9, shows that notwithstanding all Of its boasts.
this law does not work well in Virginia. as the
DEMOCRAT has more than once shown.
I'VE regret to see, says the Dispatch. chat
there's o growing negligence in enforcing the
collection of the tax. The passage of the bill
now before the Senate. providing Tor more
efficient enforcement of the Motlett register
tax. is absolutely necessary. That would be
a good act, for which the people would W..
feel sure, oleartily thank them As we under
stand the bin, it is calculated to make the
Molfett register tax success Q
The Dispatch here frankly confessee that
them orntt register law, with all its harsh
ness and severity. is not sufficient for the col
lection of this tax. More vigorous and severe
supplementary laws are needed to fully ac-
complish this purpose. Were these laws
granted, it is pYbable that they also would
he found as Intellectual as the existing ones,
and that still more tyrannicsl legislation
would be demanded for the enforced collection
of this extraordinary tax.
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-03-13

We trust the Legislature, during this extra
session In which only bills of the greatest
Importance TO the public good should be con-
sidered will not overlook the Importance of
legislation calculated 10 place the Board of
Health Of this city In position to carry out
Ills Important work.
The Board Of Health. with very inadequate
means at its command last summer. by the
intelligence and vigor Of It's proceedings, ex-
ollded the yellow fever from this city and
demonstrated the efficiency Of The plan Of
quarantine adopted TO protect US from that
Fearful scourge.
1.-The board, to perfect its plans. has re-
.quested Of the General Assembly the passage
M several bills, not ono of which, we believe
has been finally acted upon.
We shall not, just now attempt to review
these measures, but we call the attention of
members Of the Legislature to the fact that
aagislation which will strengthen the
arm of the Board Of Health and give IL the
means to carry out ita we'll considered and
enlightened sanitary plans of reform. may
save this city and State from great calamity
next summer.
The board has Devised very thorough plan
0f proceeding: but certain legislation is re-
quired to render ii efficient. If that legisla-
lation is not accorded, The responsibility, of
course, will rest upon like Legislature
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-03-13

The ladies Of Utica, New York introduced
o new feature at the election III that town last
week, custom that ought to become ex-
tremely popular everywhere. They proposed
to make the election wholly a temperance
affair, and went about 1t in a charmingIv
practical manner At all the polling booths
and where the ballots were to be obtained,
regular lunch stands were provided, where
sandwiches, biscuits. cake. pie, etc, and
plenty of coffee We're to be obtained free on
the pledge Of the voter not to drink whisky
that day. The enterprise seems to have been
quite successful These lunch tables were
swept clean by hungry voters. while those
har-rooms that kept a back door slen for par
ticuar friends were astounded at not getting
single visitor the whole day long. Next
morning when the citizens of Utica glanced
over their papers to learn the result of the
election. they were astonished to learn that
not single voter had been killed. and could
scarcely help regarding the assertion that
there had not even been fight in town ara
wild newspaper sensation. The Uticans arc
strong converts to the cause Of coffee and
cake election
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-03-13
SEQ Supplement.

We have received the report Of the Board
sf Supervisors Of the Louisiana State Uni
versty and Agricultural and Mechanical Col
iesge at Baton Rouge b. the General Assem-
lily. Since the union Of the two institutions
the University has prospered even beyond
expectation. There are on the roll one hun
slied and thirteen students, and arcessions are
almost daily made. Tuition being free, 1t is
one Of the cheapest colleges In the South.
Provision ia amply made for instruction In
all the branches Of literary and industrial
education. The faculty has recently had a
valuable addition to it's scientific department
lin the person Of Prof. Richard s. McGuloeh,
pf the Westinghouse University, who has q
high reputation as q scientist, and IL author
lily Id everything regarding the culture of
sugar cane The library is large and the
cabinet valuable,
Having fret class literary institution at
home there is now no necessity for Louisian-
ihils 10 send their SONS abroad for education
We shall expect to see the University soon
enjoying full measure of that patronage
which 1t has shown itself TO deserve
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-03-13

Mr.. Ebenezer Haskell, of Philadelphia, ex-
cited by the late Pitman cremation, has added
codicil to his will that will save his relations
ID great deal of trouble In proving insanity
w hen they contest his last testament
MIR. Haskell donates all OF his money TO
charitable purposes, but leaves his relatives a
much pleasanter remembrance Of him than
mere money. In q codicil to his will he pro
vides that his body shall be cremated and
the ashes deposited In the Fair Hill Cemetery
VI Philadelphia under the roots Of rose
bsish. TO each OF his relatives he grants
The right and privilege Of picking a rose from
this bush expressing at the same time the
hope that when they pluck one Of his roses
they will cherish the memory Of the generous
donor
4 IL II barely possible that when old Haskell
is gone and laid away safely alongside Of his
ausebush some Of his ungrateful heirs will
Insult the old mans memory by calling
him insane, and demanding rather larger
slice Of his fortune than rosebud. The law
yers have promising fight ahead In this
rosebud will case. q
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-03-13

The California weather is having a bad
effect ON the politics Of that State as well as on
its crops On the day fixed for a special election
of Senators and members Of the Legislature
last week, a terrific rain storm came up. The
result was that the genteel members Of the
two old parties 'loafed at home In slip shod,
reading newspapers and playing with the
children" while the members of the work
ingmen's, or as it might more properly be
stated, the Communists party, rallied to the
polls and carried the day by handsome ma
lority, thanks to the very light vote cast.
This election has had the effect of greatly
strengthening these Communists. They al
ready possessed considerable power and
needed only success like this to encourage
them again to threats and violence The con-
sequence has been more communistic demon
stlations in San Francisco, and threats to
lynch every man of property in that city. Nor
are the two older parties any the less excited
and alarmed. since they see in the future a
new and most dangerous opponent.
California will hold d constitutional conyen-
ton in few months. The great dread OF all
the respectable citizens of that State, Demo-
Gratis and Republicans alike, is that the Work
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-03-13

ingmen-O Communists will elect enough dele
gates to the convention to control 1t and to
frame communistic and unrepublican con-
stituHon, result that is more than possible.
A glance at the resolution calling the State
convention, adopted few days since by the
Legislature. betfays the alarming fact that the
day fixed for the election Of delegates falls
within the rainy season The fate Of Califor-
MIA Is In doubt, and like that Of Napoleon at
Waterloo, hangs on the question, "Will 1t rain
or not?' II it rains, there is fair chance Of
the Pacific slope enjoying the same scenes that
took place at Paris In 1871 and Pittsburg In
1877. So alarmed have the Legislature be-
come over this possibility that they are dis
cussing the question of changing the date Of
the election to the dry season. II not Of specially
providing that in case of rain on election day
the election shall be postponed to the next dry
day. However that be- the people of
the Pacific slope have discovered new de-
moraizing element In their politics the
weather. In future California politicians will
have to be experienced meteorologists and
weather prophets.
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-03-13

Senator Boadaer sustains his reputation as
q raformer by Offering resolution to raise a
nommittee 10 investigate the affairs Of the
State during w, r. kellosg's fraudulent ad
ministradon. Wesuggost that the same, or an :
0ther committee, be authorized to investigate
the record of Warmoths administration. The
material for the history of the reconstruction
era should be enriched by au the facts which
trunspired in this State from 1868 to the day
xsf the dissolution of the Packard government
and those facts should he brought out and per-
petuated in an official manner. The country
should know hcw much, in taxes, the people
oil this city and State have paid In these eip hit
years; how muck debt has been accumulated,
and where the money went, and for
what the debt was created South Carolina
has gone far ahead of US In this sort of in
Tnstigafion, and lis furnishing the country
with some edifying reading. The annals of
Louisiana under Warmoth and Kellogg are
rs rich In records q protligaey and aorrup-
tion as are those of South Carolina slnder
Moses. Scott and Chamberlain. and the story
should not be lost DO the world. Especially
do we invite the attention Of Senator Boatner
to the spoiation of the free school fund
Through act 81 of 1879. South Carolina rascal
ity furnishes no parallel to this scandaous
Transaction. and all the facts should be brought
out and exposed to the public. Ex-Gov. War
moth could probably furnish thorough-gong
rDmmittee with the leading facts OF the case:
md IL our friend, Senator Boatner. desires. be
fore moving the Investigation, to refresh his |
memory with the history of this particular
transaction, we refer him to the decision OF |
the Supreme Court in the case Of the State of
Louisinna ex rel. T. j. Durant VS. the Board
III Liquidation, S.a. An. vol. 20, of 1877. !
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-03-13

| Whisky and tobacco are the great weapons
of Russia. IT was whisky not the stiolgtI
of Russia, that has just scattered the armies
of Turkey and ended the empire of the
| Osmanlis In Europe; and it is tobacco that is
proving the great proseotin power of the
Greek Church; tobacco that s fast driving
| Catholicism from Poland and Lutheranisnl
| from Lvonia. Tobacco liz specially conse-
Grated to the Greek Church, whisky TO the
Russian army. The tax on TOBACCO is re-
served for the religious establishments Of the
National Church Of Russia. which is sup
ported altogether out Of this fund a consd-
cradle amount of which, however is reserved
for public education. The whisky tax pays
the ordinary expense of the army, except in
case of war when n loan is generally needed
Smoking Is therefore q religious act la Russia,
and when a man gets drunk he has the salts
faction of knowing that he has performed a
patriotic action, and enabled his country TO
send at least an additional company of hussals
against the Turks.
Travellers in Russia depict in terrible colots
the drunkenness existing In that empire,
where everybody. prince priest and peasant,
drinks vodki from morning till night. They
show that this vice is ye,Qly increasing in
Russia and has become a national curse Of
alarming magnitude. There seems no doubt
OF this increase, and to it Russia SUCCESS IN
the late war Is largely due When Che
present Turco-Russian war began the English
papers declared with delight that Russia was
bankrupt, her treasury empty, her credit
gone, All Of this was true and Russia would
never have been able to bring into the fold
that mighty army she marshaed had not the
excitement Of war produced a sudden thirst
throughout the empire a wild carnival of in
toSication, which, by means OF the tax
on whisky. furnished the Gar with more
than sufficient funds to carry his army to the
Danube. When Christmas came around an
other celebration on the part of the Rus
slams at home enabled the Gar to move his
army to the Balkans. Since that time Rus
sian victories have come fast and quick, and
being appropriately celebrated at Moscow
and st. Petersburg have kept the Cars
army we'll supplied. No wonder then that
the Russians yenerate st. Alcohol and ST
Nicotine as the strongest supporters of the
Sclavic empire.
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-03-13
SMALLPOX AND CONTAGIOUS DISEASES.

The LUZENBURG, the exclusive Hospital
for indisent cases, Is on Eysian Fields
are requested to 50 inform the destitute when
attacked: lhoss who come at an early stage
mostly all recover. The Workhouse furnishes
for 1t.
Private cases: Wards, 81; private rooms. SIS
per day.. Physicians may attend their own
cases. and are welcome at all times to visit and
examine all the patients in the interest OF
science. mil I'm 2dp*
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-03-13
TIE "ANDERsON APPEAL"

New ORLEANS. March H. 1878
Copies Of heletter addressed to Gov. Nichols
on behalf of Thomas @. Anderson, and free
from some slight Typographical errors that oe-
Cured In the publication of the same In yester-
days papers desired by any one for transmits
Uion to people of our own State residing
beyond the city, or, If wanted. to persons else
where. will be furnished eheerfuly and grat,l-
itous'y on application rs office, % Magazine
street mh1G ju1t
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-03-13
DIED.

Y2NAGA DEL VALLE-On Tuesday twelfth
instant. Mrs, Pvtroula Garcia wife a. J. Yzuaga
del Vale.
Her funeral will take place from her late req
idenoe No. 257 Jackson street. on Wednesday,
March ID, at 10 q. m.
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-03-13

a DESCRIPTIONS,
And all other personal property Guns. Pistols,
etc. Also on Stocks. Bonds and other colat-
erals, In large and small sums, at as low rates
OF interest "a any chartered institution In this
city. PLEDGES KEPT ONE YEAR.