, 1878-01-25
Wit and HumOr.

and end with court
MANY of Chicago's bank presidents are
,,one but not forgotten.
S,,v had Won little Ram, its fleece all over
vitc, ,,... ,.,,, a., po,, ,os
lind every we're Wv ""'' '~"'
sure TO abide ....-
"Yor ST are as pretty as picture is 70
,orcrr the correct compliment ~ pay a
J ,"JS, Simply say, YOU put me in mind
of chromo'
"T TELL you what, Jane, it was well |
,;ar.t meet that superb creature over
,horc before our marriage. YES, SAID
lane 80 it was--fur yoH.'
rr has been wisely and wittily "b.
.oryed with as much truth as poetry,
seat . n man glories in his strength and
. "~,unn in her hair, while butter & Iories
in both.
TIE Kroomen of West Africa say of
.ho American: Him catchee horse, make
he work; catchec water, make he work;
natchce fire, make he work; catchee
wind, make he work.
A NEBRASKA judge decided to give Il
horse thet one inoic 'l"h,o w ''i'i III
Az the fellow left the neighborhood TO be-
nin newer and better life he took along
the Judges horse to help him.
"GESrLEMEN, l introduce to you my
friend, who isn't as stupid as he appears
N be-" Introduced Friend, with vivaci-
": THAT is precisely the difference be.
tween my friend and myself"
WHILE compositor ON the Montreal
Witness was setting up an advertisement
of a lost canary, few days ago, the
Lird few in at the office window, This
shows the value Of advertising.
AyoIp ARGUMENTS WITH LADTEs.-In
spinping yarns among SilhS and satins, "A
man will ever be ,o0rsted and t@isted.
And when man is worsted and twisted
he may consider himself D0und up.
USEFUL TO KNow.-A gentleman of
considerable experience writes to say that
in order to thoroughly enjoy roasted
goose there should be only two in COM
pany-thc goose and the goose-eater.
"Wno can hold fire in his handl' ex-
claimed a public speaker. Any one
that smokes, )" responded voice; "hell
strike match and light his cigar with
il, the windiest day that ever gnu saw
A SCoJcu baronet's butler gave up his
place because his lordship's wife was al
ways scolding him. "Ah" his master
exclaimed, "ye've little to complain o..
Ye may be Thankful ye're no married to
her,"
A NEVADA mans Chinese laborer re-
Gently refused to chop wood on Sunday
morning, and when the reason was asked he
answered: Heap no work Sunday; alice
same white man. Heap play poker.
Our benighted Chinesel
THE hard.hearted Ashland Reoieo asks
"Did you ever notice how sensitive arc
the ears of woman in church to the cry
ing of some other womans baby! and
how deafer than post she is when heI
own offspring sets up its piercing squallf
TRoUaHTFULNEss.- wild
over (to young lady he is about to mar
ry.) "There is one thing was going
to mention to you. | have several pairs
of nice boots that belonged to my poor
dear first; suppose you wouldn't mind
wearing them out"
"DID you steal the compliments coata
ssked the Magistrate OF seedy indi.
vidual who was arraigned before him. Il
decline to crafty the morbid curiosity OF
the public by answering that question,
responded the seedy individual, with a
scOrnful glance at the reporter.
A FARMER having cattle trespassing
upon his grass fields, posted up the fol-
lowing: "Notis-lf any mans or wom-
ans cows or oxen gets in these here otes,
his or her tale will be cut off as the case
maybe. pa mi taxes, but darn man
who lets his critters run luse, say l."
A SCoTcu minister, meeting one of his
parishioners, asked her if she was pleased
with the sermon that he had preached
the previous day. On receiviug reply
in the affirmative, he inquired If she un'
derstood it all. "Ehl mon," exclaimed
the lady, would haze the presoomtionf
AN inguisiiye traveller, noticing that
the man who sat beside him in the rail
road Cur had weed on his hat, said: I'll
see you are in mourning. Was it near
or distant relative that you losti' The
bercaved one replied: "Wal, lie was
pooty distant-'bout thirty mile or SO, by
the turnpike"
A LADY writes to say, in reply to a
question in the Hrdld, that M miss
should be kissed by her gentleman friends
after she is IL. \ gentleman writes
"Let us not kiss her at all" A girl
writes: "As we never know when we be-
gin, do not let us think when we leave
OK.'-N. y. HTGM.
THE strongest inducements ever Of
Iered to congregation was held out by a
Pennsylvania parson. I'VE have II col