Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1878-01-26
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.

Turkey tumbles to it.
Money -syllables-I. o. U.
The flirt's plea-"Not jilty."
A crying evil-The baby show.
Freezing civility-An ice cream
party.
A ring suit-One for breach of
promise.
Senator elect Farley is ia favor of
Jones' dollar.
When is mother q fatherl When
she's sigher.
"The Exiles" is spoken of as an
exile-lent play.
Young men missing, are frequent
dy found kissing.
Self-made men are outnumbered
by the seif,unmade men.
The dollar of our fore-f fathers only
gave them quarter each.
Flora Temple was fast, but she
couldn't beat the pale horse.
The Car is good lnguist; among
other languages he can talk back.
When should a modest woman not
wear locketl When it is unchased.
The snow in Bulgaria is two feet
deep, and the Russians are out slay-
ing.
"'My Ncighbor's Apples is a. new
play" We played that in boyhood
days.
The doctors say this is unhealthy
weather, and rub their hands as if in
grief.
Why should death be welcome to
horsel Because it's the end Of his
whoas.
81 hear the angels calling" Let
them take the pot; pair of dcuces
is all we have.
What travels quicker than scold-
ing womau's tonguel You don't
know. Neither do we.
Why do people say. "As dead as a
door nail2" Because it is always
."knocked on the head"
Many man who earns his money
by the sweat of his brow. "sweats" it
out in liquor afterwards.
Mr.. Joe AXE of Texas was attacked
the other day by apoplexy. This is
no Joe AXE for the paragraphers.
A shipment of frogs to England
for breeding purposes, moves some
one to inquire if it tad-political sig
nificance.
1t is stated as fact that camel's
hair shawls are made from the wool
of the Thibet Goat. Thus the fondest
hopes decay. .. -a-. q
A young blood recently Tilted by a
Fifth Avenue belle says he has had
enough of the heautiful's mo- to last
all winter.-[Graphic.
While climbing q load of wood
with gun in his hand Texas man
shot his windpipe in two, The wind
pipe Is of no use to him now.
1t will be very pleasant in 1881 to
make trip through Ohio and hear
the natives begin their remarks:
"When l was Consul at -"
Husbands in Greenland are not
trusted with latch keys. The nights
are six months long, and a very dis
sipated man might stay out all night.
Mark Twain: "Ladies and gentle
men, my friend Mr.. Aldrich was 60
ing to introduce me, but l would
rather not-he knows me too we'll"
Eastern savings banks refuse to
take trade dollars on deposit, and
some of them are so particular that
they refuse to pay out dollars Of any
kind.
A man called on a dilatory debtor,
and said: "If you'll pay me the
amount Of your bill Immediately, you
will oblige me; if not, / shall have to
.oblige you"
Lo, the poor printer, of exalted
mind, to no ones interest but his own,
is blind; '.jeffs" for his earnings that
have cost him dear, or squanders all
on pedro and beer.
A mother seeing her little-four year.
old nearly asleep in her chair, asked
it she bad not better go to bed. sob
no, mamma; l only shut my eyes to
keep the dust out"
IA polite man. said the Due de
Morny, "is one who listens with inter-
est to things he knows all about when
they are told by person who knows
nothing about them,p