Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1878-09-13
BIJAH'S WAY.
He wrestIes with n Bad Small Boy and
Comes out Ahead.

pay a fine; so he sent him up to Biiah
accompanied by the following note:
"EsTEEMED FR1END-This boy has
been making up faces at the public,
throwing stones at windows, and in vari-
GUS other ways rendering himself dis
agreeable to the public. Can you con-
vince him of the error of his ways? ?"
Bijah read the note, looked the boy
over, and unused:
"He's tuff; can see Dick Turpin in
the cut of his nose, Ben Butler in the
slant of his eyes, and old Satan all around
his mouth, but I'll wrestle with him
aye he'll go out of here as humble
minded as a yellow dog caught in a bear
trap in the back end of the woodshed.
Bub, how long since you had a good
wash ?"
"How long since you sandpapered
yer head ?" was the insolent reply.
"Boy that's sass, that is You've
been sent up here to be reformed, and
you'd better be little nice at the out
set |"
ooh I guess 1 kin take care of my
self I've bin on three 'scursions, owned
o dog, had a toe broken, and I'd have
broken out of the stashun if I'd had hall
an hour more time |"
"Child of sass and sin, come up into
my department of industry r. said Biiah
as his ears began to work.
"Don't get yourself hurt" growled
the lad as he pulled away and drew O
bean. shooter from his hind pocket.
The old man picked him up and car
ried him up stairs into the spanking
room, but the boy gazed around on the
implements of reform without the least
emotion. AS he was dropped to his feet
no remarked
"Hev you got any stuffed turkey up
here for feller?"
"Tuff- tuff-tuff |" sighed Bijah az
he drew the spanking bench into posi-
ton. cts wonder to me, boy, that
you haven't been hung for murder ere
this. Here--look at yourself in this
glassl"
Little Jim looked into the ten cent
mirror, stroked his chin, rubbed little
of the dirt off his nose, and observed:
81 can't help bein' purity, can II
Miter blame cause hain't lost all my
front teeth, and got ears Topping clear
down to my shoulders ?"
"More sass-more sass James, alias
Jim, am now about to invigorate your
physical system with pine single.
You need it. Every look and word
proves to me that you will relish good
sound spanking"
GIVE got money that says there'll be
lawsuit if you try it on |" was the de-
FAINT reply.
"Child, threats cannot move me, u
sighed the old man. "I owe duty to
you, to your widowed mother, and to the
world at large, and ten thousand billion
lawsuits could not weaken my elbow.
The usual services will now, be inaugu-
rated"
Selecting fine spanker marked, eve.
locity, ten miles per hour" Biiah gave
the lad sudden twist into position, and
the collision commenced. At the third
blow the spanker was split into half q
dozen pieces, and the boy laughed and
called out:
"D'ye want Teller to go to sleep in
this posishun?"
"rhere's more to foller-more to fol-
ler," replied Biiah as he reached out foi
more timber. This time he selected @
spanker marked, Perpendicular press.
ure guaranteed" and when the shingle
came down cloud of dust arose and the
boy gave sudden start. A second blow
more dust. At the third blow three
old carpet-tacks flew across the room,
and young James was visibly agitated.
The boy stood on the burning deck,
Where flame and smoke did mingle;
And Bijah thought of this as he
Gyrated with the single.
AS soon as the dust and mud, and
grass, and tacks, and sand had been
cleared away, the spanker began to open
fire on the enemy all along the line.
Young James passed from Indifference
to anxious care-from thence to great
mental anxiety, and losing the old cigar.
stub out of his mouth in a last effort to
regain his eomposure, he broke down
and let the fountain in his youthful
heart be turned on. The spanker didn't
stop work at his first appeal, nor his
second, and it was going as regularly as
gas-meter when he cried out:
"This ERE thing hez made perfeck
angel of me p
No boy e'er felt the single play
With fond remembrance Of the day.
There were only two dry eyes in the
room as Bijah let his arm down for 6
rest, and said:
"Thar that's part the first, and Tn
greatly encouraged. I didn't expect tc
reform you all at once, but shall take
you in sections and be whole week on
the job. 1 will now introduce you tc
soap and water and crash-towel, anc
while I'm down to the farm after some
huckleberries I'll give you lesson te
read in the city directory"
"It's kinder mean to pound DO,
with single /" softly observed the lad
as he wiped his eyes on a newspaper.
"My son" replied Biiah, as he pattet
him on the head, "human natur' il
naturally sinful. A boy is just as prom,
to do evil as a cucumber is to max,
under the fence in the next mans yard
He must be wrestled with and coerced
If one single won't make him Gu
acquaintance with hard words and bat
associates, we must try two. It almos
breaks my heart to bend boy over m,
knee and administer dose of the Grea
American Single Corrector, but I mus
do my duty by my fellow-man. Som
one had to spank goodness into me,
spank it into you, and you will admins
ter the tonic to some one else."
"Mi' the worst boy in town ?" queries
The youngster.
perhaps not, but you're tuff, ant
ruff, and you are in fair way to brinl
up in State Prison. Boy, did you eve
hear of Daniel in the lions den ?"
''Dan'l who ?" queried Jim.