Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-09-23
THAT NOSE--A SLEEPING CAR
INCIDENT.

be says: There was a nose on that train.
Indeed, in my car there were forty noses
until ten o'clock; after that there was
only one. They made up the berths at
half-past nine, and it only took thirty
minutes for that nose to assert itself. |
There was a trumpet, clarionet, a fish |
horn, snare drum, and pair of Gym
balls inside that one nose. In fact a full
band of itself. Its possibilities were
simply astounding.
1t was in good practice and opened its
concert artistically. Its prelude was in
the minor key but have had exper-
fence in such noses, and could not be
deceived. knew what was coming and
prepared myself. 1t last it came. What
a noise It actually drowned the roar
of the train. It filled the car, and aow-
ed out Of the ventilators.
"What's that p said heavy bass
voice. ss
"What's that p startingly interrogat-
ed tenor. e
"What's that 2" tlmidly calculated
soprano.
The answer soon came. Again the
fnrrant of eannd -,,nhAl A..t- Af Az --0n-
strous nostrils. Big? Yes, they must
have been big-big as boot leg. 1t
takes room for such noise to get out.
sOh !" said the bass voice.
"Oh !" repeated the tenor.
"Oh p re-echoed the soprano.
Then silence.
Nothing more was said for perhaps
ten minutes, while the nose warmed to
its work. It put forth its variations.
No two shores were alike. One would
begin with slight quaver, run up an
even deepening vibration and then ex-
plode. The next would be one tremen-
dous explosion, mo warning of its be-
ginning, or no premonition of its closing.
Then, there would follow succession of
claps, each distinct, self assertive, cumu-
lative.
Now it was bass snore, then tenor,
then an alto, and then variation be-
tween an alto and soprano. But what
ever mode, the force was never lacking.
1t was strong. terrible strong.
81 can't stand this r. said the bass
voice.
81 can't stand this !" repeated the
tenor.
81 can't stand this!" cried the soprano.
Laugh ? | lay on my back and laugh.
ed. l rolled over on my side and laugh.
ed. | showed up the window. put my
head out and laughed laughed with q
spasmodic action of the heels. Still the
man snored on. Five minutes passed
The nose was executing one of its mos
intricate and impressive passages. Il
began with tremolo, rolled on and roarec
itself upward. along rising gamut o.
sound until it burst with snort.
"rorUer !! called the bass voice.
'.Porter sounded the tenor.
"Oh Z! Porterl' shrieked the soprano.
| The porter came hurrying in, followed
by the conductor with his lantern.
was standing in the passageway opposite
the berth which the nose occupied, tryins
to hold myself together in the middle.
"What are you crying for?" asked
the conductor. 81 ee
That instant the nose burst forth
The conductor looked astonished. HI
explained afterwards that he had heart
great deal of snoring in his nine years
service but nothing like that.
1--WE must wake him up" he said.
80 yes; wake him up" said the bass
awake him up" cried the tenor
The soprano was nearly exhausted
but / clearly heard the word sup
We parted the curtains. The ma
was lying on his back. the pillow dow
under his shoulder, his head hung owe
the north side of it. His mouth wa
wide open, his nose at an angle of forty
five degrees-the angle of the highes
fight for projectile. His knees wer
drawn up, and his hands lay on the p
, of his stomach. shook him. shoe
him twice. The third time I shook hi
r he opened his eyes. l think I shoul
have ratified his eyeballs out of the
sockets at the fourth shake. He opene
E his eyes. The lantern streaming I'M
/ his face, and the three pairs of ey
looking fercely at him, had decompo
n ing effect.
r stranger, said ]. in priestly tone
stranger, are you ready to die %
n "Eh! what /? how ? Thunder what
e the matter ?" he said.
n "That nose ?" said I.
n l looked around. The conductor W
going through the door. The ebony ia
of the porter looked out from around Il
angle of the stove. The man looked
me. l looked at the man.
:. "Will he go to sleep again ?" ask
the bass.
= Twill he 60 to sleep again p ask
! the tenor, looking out from between