, 1878-02-08
Wit aud Hunor.
PorE car BAScE Is a Wyoming town.
4 sort ut QUE scent place. Bosioq Post.


apia-"Duller polite, and liyelier hu,i.
ness.
4 MILLER, daughter may b. the
anur of the family, but -ho often sacks
the farmers who come o the mill.
sr,rIsrr,i,> think. that the kind of
flower which q, uittn,st raised by the
mother OF unruiy boys, j, the l.iys-
slipper
Tui- seems @ be- very "ol year
with a great many tinAnslers. Tnry are
oil to all parts at the world, beyond the
reach of nited States law.
WHAT is the difference between a
moor gun and hired mas Iueradc COS.
tune. One is fired aud doesn't hit, ana
the other is hired and doesn't tit
A DuTCHuAS was about to make n
Journey Ia his fa,herand, aud wishing
10 say good bye" to friend, extended
his hand and said, "Nell, II dOu'd
cor,e back, hullo.'
Nor PRoyES.-Presbyterian Minister:
"Don't you know it's wicked to catch
fish on the Sabbath Small boy
Snot having had a rise all the morning.,
"Who's catchiu' tishi'
"DocroR, | am feeling unwel; can't
YOU do something for me- "Yes,
guess so. Ah,ah; let me see your tongue,
madam Glbstractedly), an, yes, over
workcd-overwork madam She
didn't wait for the prescription.
"Go to the ant, thou sluggard," said a
gentleman to Il tramp who solicited help.
al know better thing than that" said
the tramp, with wink. "What is itt"
asked the gentleman. "I'll start saw
ings bank, answered the tramp.
"CoME, pa,' said youngster just
home from school, show many peas are
there in Il pint2' "How can anybody
tell that, you foolish boy2' II can
every time. II you don't believe it,
try me- "Well, how many are there,
thena" "Just one p in every pint, pa
THE best story that has been told on
the stump in the campaign is that of the
man who, having lost his wife, was asked
to ride to the grave with his mother-in-
law. He objected at first, but allowed
himself to be persuaded, adding, how.
ever, ~ want you to understand that it
robs this occasion of all pleasure for me" "
"MAY every hair in your honor's head, "
said an old lady, looking at Sir Charles
Taylor's powdered and pomatumed
locks, may every hair in your honor's
head be candle to light your sowl to
glory" And as he bowed, hat in hand,
in acknowledgement, and disclosed his
bare crown-"May the blessed Virgin
give you more Of them"
A MAN who was trying to sell rather a
dismal residence boosted that it com
manded view of the railway station.
"'But that doesn't make it any more
pleasant" said the party who was eX.
pected to purchase it, "Oh, yes, it does, y
replied the owner, confidently; sit makes
1T gay here. You can stand on this
stooP and see everybody that misses the
train"
SCENE Gin theatrical agency AN
artist enters. "Well, sir, what can | do
for you! What is your lineot businessr
~Low comedy, sir" What parts are
you up in2" Hamlet, King Lear,
Richelleu, Othelow "Hold on-those
are not low comedy parts" "Don't
know if they ore or not. All know is
that l make the people laugh when |
play in them"
That's where the boys fit for college,
said the professor to Mrs. Partington,
pointing to school.house. did they"
said the old lady, with animation. "Then
If they fit for college before they went,
they didn't fight afterwards" Yes
said he, smiling, and favoring that de.
ceit; "but the fight was with the head,
not with the hands" "Butted-did
theyl" said the old lady.
BEWARE of pleasantries in addressing
strangers. Punch tells an aneCdote OF
young man at dance introduced to a
partner, whose name he did not catch,
and to whom he said, "Are you going to
the piggery2" referring to n ball which
was going to be given by well-known
family of Hogges. VI am one of the
litter" was the smart reply, the young
lady being herself Miss Hogge.
A NEIGHBoR informed me that he
knew an Irishman who engaged ply
sician to doctor his wife for a certain
fee, kill or cure. After time his wife
died, and the doctor called for his fee.
Said the bereaved husband: "You
didn't cure my wife, did you9"
The doctor said, "No."
"Did you kill herr"
The doctor was silent, and lost his fee.
THE msnse of Melrose is situated close
by the fine ruin of the Cathedral, and
commands an interesting view of the
ElIdon Hills, but in the immediate fore
ground is the parish burying. ground. A
Iady having remarked to the Rev. Mr..