The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1878-09-22
CHAT BY THE WAY.

CHAT BY THE WAY.
Some people good that they are
always ready promise and ready perform
French philosopher say OF this Tx that
he spent his mornings making promises and his
afternoons in making excuses
II Was hard answer ana Jet deserved Some ono
announced the death Of venomous gossip and boldly
asserted that she died OF poison. When asked what
he meant he replied that by some accident she had
bitten her tongue.
II is said good authority that man Is not
sarily cannibal when he swallows little London
porter. And on equal authority that women make
inefficient railroad conductors because their trains
are always behind.
II very serious question whether IL you were to
follow the old adage and give tho devil his due the
donation would not include yourself
One OF tho hardest tasks set man ia to forget
the good deeds no has done and chidc himself for
the evil
What a beautiful thought this Is by Young
An angels arm can't snatch from tho grave
Legtons OF angels can't counne me there
great many OF are like FalstaGs soldiers, afraid
OF nothing except danger.
Every man dofs his hat to true courage, for IL IL
not Of tho gresnback virtues but has gold basis.
There Is healthy tingle in the OF ones heart
when he reads tho feowng-a single which lasts long
alter the story been for gotten An officer Of
Orleans regiment, having been sent to Louis XIV.
with q despatch announcing important victory,
demanded the Cross OF the order OF ST. Louis Tor him.
sell .But you SO young |" objected the monarch.
Sire." was the great rejonder, 'the Of the Or
leans regiment not In the habit OF living iongi"
Railroads have, curiously enough, increased the
value OF human life and done much toward making q
husband and vito appreciate each other You would
hardly suppose that such could produce such
q result; but It Is, nevertheless, true A hus.
band may. to illustrate. live for years on tho
ragged edge Of domestic infelicty his homo Dear's
den rssounding day aud night with tho grows Of
content He may wonder why he married and fret
himself into a fever over his bad matrimonial luck,
and wish himself young again, that he might take
the awful vow Of celibacy. But II that spouse hap
pens to be tho victim OF wrecked railroad train and
a demand for damages Is made on the corporation,
how things chancoi VIVA. angel no had for wife
HOr silver tongue made music IN has home, and her
gentle disposition and innumerabie virtues hrs
dependence for happiness, IN exchange for which
the thousands OF dollars which he asks pitiiui in
decd. Blessings brighten as they take their nignt,
and the sluggish human heart does not know how
great loss has sustained until tres 70 compute
IL by doiars and cents
tells u.s. through Its great prophet, Darwin,
that It look millions OF years TO evolve Of
oyster, SO many millions that oven the msrhe
the same. The processes Of nature operated very
slowly the olden time for In those latter days IL
requires not than thirty seconds to transfer an
oyster into man, and though It y u little hard On
the oyster the made happy thereby.
Scopic,sm once In whilc gets homo thrust They
were talking about the story OF BALKAN and tho
IL denounced as prma tucie fraud by tho pro-
found thinker. tho disciple OF philosophy, the huge
trained sccptc, who could believe thing provided
II not In tho Bible, and who expected to finish
the discussion by saying 81 don't exactly 500 how
according to natural law could talk like man.
The defendant quietly rcpicd however Neither can
l SEQ how according 10 natural law man talk like
an ass"
A largo number OF persons have had their eyes
opened by poverty, the greatest living knocku iisL
While rich they had virtues which all their trends
discovered and praised; whiio poor they had vices
which rendered them intoeraba TO their old com
panions Sugared fortune always brings tho nics.
sourcd misfortune always drives them away. Here -
o d,rge on the subject
Whom I was young and vigorous and healthy,
knew not what II was 20 pine or sigh
The worla seemed made tor ms whom was wealthy.
woDdor whyf
Al last thcro camo a dreaded fatal day,
And was ruined! Tnings had gono awryl
My lriends2 some nodded but most looked away.
wonder whyY
Each crouy now seemed changed into a mocker;
f.
"Uut," was tho answer where piiod the knocksr.
wonder whyf
There Ia tho rotort mid and tho retort terrible.
The former apt close the lips 10 further CONVEX
satiou, but the latter makes one wish that he had
never been born. A distinguished NJ D., thinking to
say something complimentary TO afascinatng widow,
one OF his patients, placed his PUPPY hand on her
we'll rounded shoulder, aud. with poetic sigh, ex-
claimed s.This the incest aud soiiost place In the
world Tor a weary head TO rest on.u Sho turned
quickly Oh him, and replied, s.Doctor, give mo your
hand and will put 1t a still softer place." whcrcon
she quietly put his hand on his own bald pate. lilo
convinced that Is mover too iato TO learn Another
illustration Is afforded by tho 'cutencss OF Yankee
coachman. he was driving some Engishmsn about
Boston tho sights and a. last brought them to
the Inonu ment OH Bunker HILL "Ah, yes" said ono
OF the explorers with drawi which only the lati.
tude or iongitud OF London produces perfection
81 believe THIS Is the place where VIC Engiishmen
gave you Yankees a sound thrAshing, isn't nY" The
driver his head that universal papacea
all the perplcxitics OF lie, and then quietly replied
"Mis,er, can you Tell who owns this parcel oil
ground ut tho present ume2" good rotort. ono
that is barbed aud will stick where II Strikes bet
TOR than argument aud mightier than logic.
Children sometimes preach effective sermons with
out knowing It. Little Freddie was talking 10 his
grandma, who something OF Il sccptic
..Grandna. do you belong TO the Presbyterian
Church ~ "No." "ro tho Baptist ?" "No." "To
any church," '.No." swell, grandma, don't you
think it's about timo to get In somewhcrcT There
arc great many people In New YORK to whom tho
same question might be put. rney arc perfectly
Tree iron all religious prejudice that they havnt any
religion at oil. and exceedingly liberal. especially
to themselves that thoy firmly expect u free pass
heaven, IN ough they have refused 10 offer tho pur-
chase money. "Dont you think ips about timo to
got In somcwhcrof"
How many people there arc In the world who
resemble ssnoho. Ho said, al am only TOOL tor
the simple that can't DO Two fools" Instead
OF doing thor Lowell best they constantly 10 DO
dong their level worst Tncy mako might their
right until they got caught at their own game, and
then they grumbe at Providence Tor permitting such