The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1878-05-21
SHIP BHED-Sailors.


your mother doesn't know your route.
The counterfeit silver dollar may be
detected by the superior workmanship of
the engraving.
BUDS on the trees, and pants on the
knees of the boys playing marbles, are
bursting.
els it possible to fy?" If her father
wears No. II boot it is not only possible,
but imperatively necessary.
The wise man laugheth at joke, but
the fool goeth off on his ear about it,
Rome Sentinel l..gG.EE3
No one seems to banker for the ticdol-
oureux of our addies.-Rochester Demo-
crat. IA
JENNIE JUST married Mr.. Russ re-
Gently. She was Just before she was
Jennie Russ Cincinnati Saturday N'gh.
A MAN recently knocked down an Gle
plant, lion, and a rhinoceros. He wa
an auctioneer.
The female gate-keeper on the Ma
tional pike has been removed for deadl-
heading her sweetheart. She never tSlpd
her love.-Cfn. Saturday Night.
AN Illinois grave.digger, who buried
a man named Button, sent bis widow the
following bill: TO making one button
hole, $3.50. ...f
EVERY living thing was put into this
world for some good; ever the crow was
not made without caws.- Com. Bal!e
tin. ..- .a.a s..,....
A YOUNG lady rebukingly asks us:
(Which is worse, to lace tight or to get
Tight" We give it up-we never laced
-Ehaaaa Gazette. ...
IT is announced that tame offers are
fashionable in England; and SO they ave
in this country, but it is spelled toms-
toes. Furfetchcd pun.
Two large whales, seen about four
miles off Jacksonville, Fla, a day or two
since, appeared to be nearly white in
color.
The arophone can call boy louder
than any mother, but can't do for him
after he lodges into the gate as mother
can.-Stray Squib.
If any man writes Spaulding' glue"
or rs. T. 1860 X" on the American
flag, spoot him on the shot.-N. Y. Com
nerclat
A BowERy tailor advertises: "Gen-
tlemen furnishing their own cloth will
be trimmed and made to order at the
shortest possible notice."
We never appreciated the bashfulness
and retiring disposition Of the insurance
agent until we made the acquaintance
tramp.-Puck.
Mr. MOTH has made disappearance in
his drab spring oyercoat. He camphor
for the season, and is much sought after
by the ladies.
AN old lady, when she heard the min
lister say there would be nave in the new
church, observed that she knew we'll
who the party was"
THE Crimson helps on the volocipede
cause with little epigram:
This new invention for the road
Will Old Times fancy tickle;
Instead of moving hours by the scythe,
He'll NOW them now bicycle.
You can buy pretty fair sailing ves-
sci now for about $1,000 This will in
clude cabin boy who can box the COM
pass in four lines of good poetry.-De-
troit Free Press.
A srROLLING theatrical company WAS
at the dinner-table A waiter approached
one of the members and said: "Soup?"
"No, sir" replied the guest, am one
of the musicians. y Utica Observer.
A LITTLE Florida boy tanned an ALI
gator, and the ugly reptile learned to
like the little fellow-not, however,
until the little fellow was all gone
Worcester Press.
MASTER" Bridget, have you seen my
Ulster?" Bridget Casually very civiD
-" No, sure and I haven't; and what is
more don't want to. Me brother had
one on his leg onst, and never want to
see another"
AREcKLEss individual propounds this.
{ "What is the difference between the pres
ent excitement in England and push
cart? Ans: One is war-feeling" and
the other is "for wheeling" A physi-
, clan says his recovery is very doubtful.
, NEW ORLEANS owes Mrs. Gaines ST.
: 100000; and she says when she gets her
} money she is going to publish news
: paper. It is strange that she should want
' to spend in six months the money she
: was nearly whole lifetime in securing.
7 -NorristoWn Herald.
S ALEXANDER H. STEPHENS went TO
sleep in his chair the other day, and
i. would have been swept out by the jani-
tor if the stirring of the air hadn't caus-
e ed him to rise and float around where the
e sun shone on his sleeve-buttons and thus
revealed his presence Worcester Press.
The end crowns the work.-Laura
with novel) O, if this tale were only
: true, and l were the heroine! Kate
What! with her prosecutions, her mis-
cry? Laura-Ah, but then, dear, re-
member she does get husband after all!
-Fusny Folks.
The public seldom desires to pry into
a mans domestic affairs, but after reg
ular patron of street car line has eaten
his onions three times a day for about
six months, men will begin to inquire if
his potato crop failed.-Detroit Free
Press. gs]s4
: STERN parent to Young America:
"When | was your age, sir, got up at
, 5, cooked my own breakfast, and cleaned
! my own boots.'' Youngdutiful: eyes,
but then yon hadn't got me about you
who know the ropes, to set you better
! example,"
A MAN was arrested recently in New
York for stealing newspapers. He had
mania for his apparently profitable
thievery. He had stolen, in thirteen
months, II ,00O newspapers, and his room
looked like the humorou column of
. st. Louis paper-Hawkeye. 3f
IT is human to doubt. Display sign
with the inscription Beware Of paint"
and nine mon ont nf ton will drou, {bo;r