Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1878-02-15
Local
FUN AT GRANGE HALL.

Local
FUN AT GRANGE HALL.
TWO EVENINGS OF FUN-.ADMIRABLE
ADDR ssEs OF MEMBERS OF THE BAR
CAPITAL INSTRUCTIONS AND CHARGE
TO THE JURY-rHE PROFITS,
&C., &C., sc.
The Moot Court for the benefit of the
Young Mems Christian Association which
was proceeding Thursday night last when
our report closed, proved an even greater
success in point Of humor Friday night
than it had previously. The night before,
the wit had gone in harness. the witnesses
with one or two exceptions, having been
pinned down to evidence in manuscript
prepared for them. but on the last night
the members of the bar were let loose and
the fun was fast and furious. It is a
strange symptom about humor that every
man thinks it is delightful until it strikes
him and then he concludes at once that
personality Is being substituted for it. So
widespread was the panic among
Staunton's best and loved citizens
that On Friday night private entreaty
was sent to the Rev. Chas. Grattan, the
most prominent bandit, by one of the pro-
jectors OF the scheme, that one name at
least should be spared and that the clergy
might not be added to the general slaugh-
ter. The acoustics of the hall are all
together damnable, and caused theaudience
to lose many excellent hits made by the wit
.nesses. AS the evidence has already been
published by our two contemporaries and its
wit chiefly consists of local hits which
would not be interesting to our country
readers, we content ourselves with re-
view of the proceedings.
THE PARTIES TO THE SUIT.
The defendant (Mr. A. F. B. well
known young lawyer, appeared in court
with his hair powdered grey, and great
solemnity of demeanor, which latter char
acteristic was much against him with the
jury-a staid and quiet man being always
more successful when playing for have'ns''
with even widow, than the mild type of
fastness which our young men so much
affect.
The plaintiff Miss Bessie H. was ar
rayed as became widow, in the deepest
of weeds and kept her face yelled aud
shaded with fan. 1t was noticed. how
ever. that the clerk of the court and other
legal youngsters took many opportunities
for consultation with the bereaved, an oc-
currence resulting more from the pretty
face and bright eyes of the plaintiff than
from any advice that they could give IN the
suit pending. Her next friend" Mr.. Il.
M q. Ia prominent bank officer) was duly
attentive and secured, by virtue OF hls
position, coed seat where he could hear
and see everything-a circumstance that
brought down on him the envious male
dict1on of those seated afar, who might as
well have been deaf mutes for all the ad-
yantages their ears gave them.
THE WITNESSES.
Among the male witnesses Mr.. E. M.
Cushing brought down the house with the
famous owl story on Maj. Bagby. Mr..
Sin,on Hilb introduced in his evidence the
debit proposition that it is better to sell
man a 500 coat for SIS if the sale is made
nm credit. because if he does not pay, the
SELLER loses a smaller amount of money,
and the new principle caused much merrl-
ment. Jack Thompson, the colored wit
ness (Mr. John McC.) PERFORMED his
character excellently.
The pretty dress-maker miss 5. FL
made delightful witness, fully apprecla-
tino the situation. She injected many ad-
yertisements of her capacity as dress
maker. and when cross-examined by the
har retorted in the querelous high tone
.com,non with worried witnesses.
Miss Antoinette Mouton, the French
maid, Miss A. H. dressed the character
with fidelity and taste and gave her EVIL
denae with real French vivacity.
BRIDGET Mahoney the Irish maid, (Mr.
john McQ.,) was simply inimitable. His
cavalry charges to and fir m the Witness
stand. his particular courtesies to the
Judge and each indiyidu al officer and law
yer of the court and the manler OF giving
his evidence were all received with roars
of laughter.
Daisy Birn, little Lily Al was wit
ness of extraordinary intelligence.
Mrs. PAMELA Ruggles. Miss Fanny C.'l
ro1 her evidence with the gesture and
emphasis it required and evidently took IL
the situation.
Miss Maria Louisa Jabber, miss Fanny
81 was very quiet and reserved witness
and gave in her statement with modest IN
teIllgence. ,,,.4
Miss isabella Beverley Sharp, (Mls
Cary By was a sharp witness and her eV
idence was quite amusing.
The hits at we'll known citizens hocde'
tba avidence. Messrs Fred Effinger, Hal
~ Tiasley, Frank Stribllng, Press bavo
and Arch kinney we've cited as perslsten
but aged and faded beaux. Capt. hansol
and Meade White, Maj, Elder cpd JUG
sheffey. as evidences of the skeleton e1
fects of lnatrimony, Capt. Fultz and Cap'
Mccoy as evidences OF the thlnness o
hair resulting from entering the blesse
state. Geo. Harrison as the only health
looking survivor Of the welded state, ea'
rick as a distinguished conversatlonatist o
-h;1,iards. Bumpus was yictimiz ID as mar
shat told everything he knew. and Charles
.Grattan as the happy possesser OF hoc
ofdsughters. The V1ND1cAToR man wa
ridden with spurs persistentiy for publish
ing everything that is said and done
StauntOn.
Tho hits were good humored and man
IF them excellent, but in many cases la
the effect of bombshel on the victim
and red faces were abundant in the and
ence.
THE CORRESPONDENCE.