The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1878-11-05
HINR CUT.
Take Small Chevs. for It Svslls

Take Small Chevs, for It Hwella
Il 10 mournful to see q man morn
full.
Why is it that people boot . dog
and shoot . hen?
The western ~its nov call bigamy
Utahlizing the female sex.
II has never been ascer,aine.l how
much old ocean measures round hes
gray and melancholy waste.
1t cost Madam Theirs 800, 900 Ia
bury her husband. Shedding Thier,
is an expensive luxury in France.
Ve have known many man to 81,
around waiting for something to turn
Up until that something Was his toes.
There is no law in this country "a
prevent q colorod man from boat.
racing. IL j. mis- common sense that
interferes.
The foundation for the meanest man
is laid when a small hoy turns the
worm hole in an apple for his com.
panion to bite from.
"Flayed alive. is it! interected
Terence Magi'icuddy. the converse
ton being Of Indian atrocities. "wad
u fay touch a man il he wasn't alive,
l don't known
"What is your son doing in the bat.
tie Of life ?" asks the Christian Helper.
Well he appears to BE- drawing ratioDs
most If the time. just at present.
thank you.
Do you want checks With roses
asks q medical advertisement. No.
We don't-nO checks with our roses, IL
you please. We get cheek with too
many things nowadays.
There is one inconsistency We have
often noticed. People who are not
worth cent in the world always pay
the most attention to constable's notice
Of the sale Of real estate.
THAT'S fog-horn conclusion" as
the skipper said when his vessel ran on
to the point Of land where the steam
whistle was blowing itself red in the
face in warning to the lost mariner.
This Was appended to death notice
in a Louisville paper Her disease was
paralysis. and che fell into the arms Ot
her blessed Redeemer with ease. Jack.
son and Vicksburg papers please copy.
Herr Blum, the hasso who travelled
with Pappenheim last winter, went
home to visit his relatives last summer.
and was conscripted into service for
three years. He has begun his un-
willing task.
Who contracted the currency? the
Peoples Dollar savagely demands.
Please sir il wasn't us. We have con
tracted few debts we'd ike to con-
tract little currency If the old thing
is catching.
Think Of Glasgow man throwing a
glass Of water in his wife's face to pun
ish her in6delity. Seems a harmless
way t" lick-her. The amount Of pun
ishment depends, however, on whether
he makes the elias 60 with the water.
p. T. Barnum never felt bad over
any Of his failures but one. He offered
Eve dollars to get one of his wood cuts
into Webster's Dictionary, and the
publishers scorned him. though they
were putting in wolves and buzzards
for nothing.
Find out your childs speciality"
is the urgent advice Of q phrenologlst.
A man saws I'VE have tried this and
find it is not SD easy. Sometimes
rock candy seems to he q favorite. and
then again there is u marked tendency
to taffy."
A man who suddenly comes in con-
tact with q lamp-post or q big tree,
knows moro about the stars and the
heavenly bodies in the twinkliDg Of
the eye than Professor Proctor will
know If he lived until Ben Butler is
elected President.
Confucius says that good men love
to speak well Of all Others. Con.
never happened to drop in behind a
collection Of saints on their way home
from the evening prayer meeting. and
overhear their conversation, We will
venture to cay.
mo. darling" he said. a. bis wife
asked for q new dress, II can't afford
it. l feel it my duty to help the yel-
low-fever sufferers" and then he went
around the corner. and the barkeeper
handed out the bottle and glass and
let him help himself
John Fiske hrs named his youngest
Herbert Huxley. Fiske is q strenuous
advocate Of SDencer's doctrine that in
tellectual people have the fewest chill
Ilren. and a. Herbert Huxley Is only
The fifth in four years claims that It
tends to prove the theory.
Captain, please Yive me light. said
4 private in camp. Certainly my good
man but IL We were in the regular
army such a liberty would not be a.
owable. Is that % ! said the private /;
but If We were in the regular army
voq> wouldn't be captain. perhaps.
A. dinner in the hoap6;nw srhool
Usher. Master Edward, stop that
or shall have tn report |
rou." Master Edward. II amt !
I'm eating" Usher: "Hold
rour tongue. sir; ! know you Of old !; |
,ou eat with one ear and talk with
he other"
Young America has been always |
,oted for i,s inquiring mind. One Of
he many budding Presidents was
old the other day BY his school marin |