The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-02-09
SUNREAMS,


one? In barrel.
DR.. Mary Walker says this country will
shortly be flowing with rirer-r-r-s Of ber-
lud
|. A Darky's instructions for putting on a
coat were; First de right arm, den dc lett,
and den give one general Oonwulsion." :"
The young gentleman who accompanied
his offer of marriage with a hundred-dollar
fur Jacket has had his hand and seal accep-
ted
He went softly behind the door and
murmured, "Pm a man of very quiet
tastes" Then he took ahask from his
pocket and tasted something.
What would you expect to find on
literary mans breakfast table? Bacon's
Remains, Final Memorials of Lamb, if in
season, and Shelly's fragments.
"Young man," he said solemnly, "I'm
sorry to see you smoking tobacco" and
the young man assured him that he wasn't,
that it was Connecticut cigar.
"Why do you use paint?" asked vio-
linist of his daughter. "For the same rea-
son that you use rosin, papa" "HOw is
that?'' "Why, to help me draw my beau"
"I don't think" says old Mrs. Prawn,
"that bookkeeping is a very sedate en-
ployment. They must get" she added,
thoughtfully, $50 much exercise running
up the columns"
The authorities of prison in Canada adj
vertise as follows;-Wanted, a respectable
man to act as turnkey in a county prison.
One who understands music, can play the
organ and sing bass, would be preferred.
A man, who jumped overheard recently
to save his wife from drowning, has ex-
planned his action satisfactorily to his friends.
lie said she had good deal of jewelry on
her person and gold was high.
She was romantic, and he was practical.
She remarked dreamily that her soul was
running through her head. And he coldly
advised her to use fine tooth comb.
An auctioneer, at sale of antiquities,
put up helmet, with the following candid
observation: "Tbis, ladies and gentlemen,
is the helmet of Romulus, the Roman
founder; but whether he was brass, iron,
or type founder | cannot tell.'
An old lady, the other day, was told that
eight mules were killed by lightning in an
adjoining county. "Good gracious" she
exclaimed, clasping her hands over her
head; II felt in my bones that something
had happened to John!"
A wag tried to annoy popular preacher
by asking him whether the fatted calf was
male or female. "Female, to be sure"
was the reply; ''for see the male"-look-
ing the questioner full in the face-"yet
alive in the flesh before me-"
"Pa," asked Norwich boy, "what is
meant by Paradise?" Paradise, my son, 1"
replied Mr.. Stanton gloomily, "Paradise is
the latter part of next summer, when your
mother goes on visit to your grandfather. :"
"You must cultivate decision of charac-
ter, and learn to say No. +" said a father
to his son. Soon afterward, when the
father told the son to chop wood, the boy
said "No" with an emphasis that showed
q remembrance of the lesson.
A man was taking aim at hawk that
was perched on a tree near his chicken
coop, when his little daughter exclaimed
Don't take aim, pa; let it go off by acci-
dentl" "Why so?" asked his father.
cause every gun that goes Oft by ac-
cident always hits somebody"
This is the way citizen of Denver ad-
yertises for a lost calf: "Rund away
Red and vite caf. His tu be hint leg vas
plack he vas she caf Enipotti vat
prlngs him pack pairs 5 tollars. Jacob
Huddering, Clear Creek tree miles pehind
the pridge"
AQuaint writer says: 81 have seen women
50 delicate that they were afraid to ride,
for fear Of the horse running away: afraid
to sail, for fear the boat might upset.;
afraid to walk, for they might fall, but /
never saw one afraid to be married, which
is far more riskful than all the others put
together"
1t was only month ago that he pro-
missed to love, cherish and protect her, and
yesterday morning when she asked wheth-
er she should split up the head of the
flour barrel or steel an armful of kindline
from the back yard of their next neighbor
he rolled over with his tace to the wal
and told her to 60 TO thunder.
A bad, bad boy, was picked up by his
ma, the other night, for some misdeed, and
tanned with her slipper until he thought
he was standing right in the way OF a
shoenaker's shop caught in a cyclone
When he got away at last, he was told to
sit down and learn verse in his Bible be.
fore he could have bit of supper, and
when he was called ur to reclte he said
1.-The wicked's tanned in slippery places
A Philadelphia newspaper man, who
saved little money during the flush times
lately did his first travelling. On his re.
turn home the first thing he wrote was
some ''advice to travellers" " His advice
was as follows: "For travelling, carry 9
crow-bar to open car windows; a aSpencer
or Henry Martin rifle for protection
against hackmen and hotel clerks; n good
supply of equable temper, and large
yalise to contain greenbacks. ~
s~-z.-,--.us.-z.-apazz-uss
TIN NElNES OF DURANGO.