Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1878-06-05

The lightRirg-rod agents will soonb be-
gin to op4ate. Spare the rod-but
spoil the g Int.
"Yes," hid man as he bent his Ell
bow to raia{ the twentieth glass ofbeer,
lit is overI fork that kills.
Don't sp1nk your children with the
bootjack. 1t is too hard to hold, and
il apt to mike bunions on your thumb.
-Ha,aksr.
| When YOU see fellow talking to
lamp-p,st, You can make up your mind
he is prompted by bad spirits.-Pot
Cnsaer Journal.
Mr.. Post OF Ohio, who is nearly 100
years old, is missing. He is probably
held for postage somewhere.-Free
Press.
We hear that within the last twenty
four hours several hundred Fenians
have been smuggled into Canadian
packages labeled Canned Fruit
Buffalo Express.
Stickney, the circus man, says the
feat of turning triple somersault has
never beendone successfully in public.
and every one who has attempted to do
it has been killed in the attempt.
cav from Titusville, I see" said the
magnificent hotel clerk to the guest
who had just booked. "You are in oil,
l take it," "In oil !" Numbered the
farmer. mo; do you suppose I'm a
sardine ?"
The following is given as fireman's
toast: The ladies-the only incendia-
ries who kindle flame which water
will not extinguish."
A produce dealer reports that beets
are unusually large this season. Hotel
keepers declare that they were large
enough last year.
1t is probably some satisfaction to a
mule to know that while he cannot
soar ss high as the lark, he can sing
Just as loud, and kick very much sorer.
what is it that bumps down the ofice-stair,
/ Tripped up on the lending unaware.
| BY the editor bounding from his lair!
'Iis the poet Of spring, with the wavy hair.
Puck.
Until the middle or latter part of
June congress will receive q share of
attention, but after that thel will be no
reason why the public mind should not
be wholly devoted to base ball.-Indian-
apolis Journal.
Several years ago q young man in
New Orleans put a sum of money in a
savings bank, and forgot all about it
until recently, when, after reckoning up
the interest, it was found that-the bank
had failed.
There was two or three hours of
bright, unclouded, rainless, glorious sun
shine III this part of Iowa Yesterday,
which give rise to the rumor that Pro-
fessor Tice had been hanged by mob.
Burlington Haakeye. U
Edison has perfected a fog-horn that
can be heard ten miles, but when it
comes to an invention for getting his
hired girl up in the morning, he smiles
sadly and falls to musing on the inf
mite. Utica Observer.
"Why is it, my dear sir,' said Waf-
fles' landlady to him the other day,
"that you newspaper men never get
rich?" AZ do not know" was the re-
ply, except it is that dollars and sense
do not always travel together"
1t is very true that George Washing
ton never told lie, but then his wife
never made him say he would spade up
the side flower beds and the verbena
mound in the front yard, before he
went down to the otfice.-Burlington
Hawkeye.
Swell-"l want you to make me a
short coat, without tails or seams in the
back. Do you know what l mean ?"
German tailor" Yaas, yaas, l know
vat you want. You want strait
jacket"
George NJ. Baker is the author Of
new play for children, entitled "The
Fairy of the Fountain" He says he
wrote it for his children, and that it
contains ten speaking characters and a
chorus. We don't wish to get unneces.
sarily excited, but how many children
has Mr.. Baker got ?-Danbury Ne,cs.
The young man whose fancy lightly
turned to thoughts of love, about n
month ago, had better begin to bucket
down to business, and provide sinking
fund against the advent of the ice cream
season.
"Can you tell me where Washing
toms Monument is?' asked a rural gen.
tleman in Charles street, Baltimore, the
other day. "Just lift your eyes off the
ground" said the person addressed,
rather tartly, land you'll see it" "Well,
l hev lifted my eyes" said the rural par
ty, looking his informant calmly in the
face. "an' I don't see nuthin' but a
darned old fool"