The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1878-03-25
nc Domesticntea Huaband.

There Il t1st all the difference imagi-
nahle in Een-marEied men, w mean.
Zone married men tame easy; some very
bard, and some never become gentle and
domesticated in their habits. They 20
baRltng aroundthe house,upsettingthIngs,
never setting = thing down on is right
end, and ordering about Just a. though
they we're commanding I steamboat, and
the other members Of the family were the
roustabout. They eat their meals and
of they 90, slsmmiDg the door and the
gate alter them and Whistling Yankee
Doodle 20 bo~istrously that they cannot
hear the patient wife Yelling At the top
OF her voice TO bring home fifteen cents
worth Of mustard and 4 cold fish Tor sup
per, and they probably wouldn't do 1t II
they did. Such fellows are hopeless cases,
and ifA wife has neglected to get the up
per hand Of them very early in the st1ug-
gle, they are doomed 70 8 life Of neglect,
and will have TO spend their Evenings
alone, except when their lord has 4 cold
and wants good nursing and 3 good deal
Of petting-then the wife car enjoy ~
their company for an evening. Blessed
privilege.
But, the Hreal NICE husband, presents
. radically different p~icture-one that
has come 10 know and realize Just what
husband was made for. Takes thoroughly
d~omesncated husband, and he is really a
model of humAnity-the very salt that
keeps things sweet in this vale Of tears.
His outgoings and incomings are as reg
ular and orderly as anything possibly can
be. You can set your watch BY him, by
amply watching any corner where hepass-
e., and by referring TO your watch you can
always tell Just where he may be found.
he spends his evenings at home with his
wife, you bet), and when he goes to the
show she also attends the entertainment;
there il no stepping down to the post
Office TO get the evening mail" 4all alone
by himself" not BY q jug.full; in fact, 3
regular scalped specimen Of demonstrated
husband never thinks OF such . thing,
that part Of his nature has been punched
out Of him so long sgo, that be doesn't re.
member that he ever possessed an inelin-
alton to go ont o'nighu unattended BY his
"better hslf,n and now you couldn't hire
him to think Of it The roaring lion part
Of his nature has been subdued; and he
wouldn't be boss now il be could-lnd he
couldn't II be would. Such = husband Is
useful as we'll as ornamental, and he il
ornamental Just where he is useful, and
is never otherwise than useful, because
be il almost alwaysin use. Hecanruba big
washing through the first water before
breakfast, besides getting the breakfast
ready, all but the neater finishing touches,
which his wife does when she arises and
gets her hair all put on, her teeth set for
business, and her tongue 30 it will swing
easy. The domesticAted husband gets up
at four O'Clock the year round, and retires
whenever his wife can't think Of anything
more that ought to be attended 10 that
day. He is always agreeable with every
body, and says "yes" TO everything, and
generally reaches home through the alley
and over the back fence. Such 4 man
has no enemies, because he has no time
to attend to arguments or quarrels, and
always votes the woman's Suffrage ticket
straight. He generally dies before mid
die age and t~hereby-"makes way for
liberty" and = second husband. Take
these thoroughly domesticated husbands,
and they are the silent toilers-the beay.
ers-ot the world, and constitute the great
motors Of our high and increasing civil.
zation; and it is an outrage that there isn't
more tears shed when they peg out-and
. new, untried and untamed man has to
be called TO duty. UScLE DUDLEY.