davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1878-03-06

DO yeu knew" remarked a rath.
er fast Newark youth the other dav
to 8 suffering friend, to whom he
was slightly indebted, 'do you know
that / intend to marry and settle
down." II do-don't know anything
about it," was the reply. "bu.but {
think you had b-b-bstter stay single
and settle up
In a street car in Philadelphia an
cid gentleman was seated in enc
corner and the car was fall. A bsvy
of fair ones OF all ages and weights
swarmed in. and there were no
seats, whereuPen the gallant old
gentleman shouted aloud, Ladies',
I shall be most happy to give my
seat to any enc Of you who is over
thirty-two years Of age.'' All re-
mained standing.
Teacher-Who wac the first man
Brown (head boy) = Washington,
He was first in war, first in
Teacner-No. no +! AdaGe was the
first man.
Brown-Oh if yen are talking. of
foreigners. I s'poss he was.
A clergyman was preparing his
serman for Sunday. stopping occa-
sionally to review what he had writ
ten, and to erase that which he was
disposed TO disapprove. when he
was accosted by his little soa. "Fa-
ther does God tell you what to
preach?'
Certainly. my child"
''Then what makes you scratch il
outr'
twenty-five or thirty years age.
the Rev. Charles 6. Finney was
corrying on a series of revival meet.
ings in Boston One day q gentle
man called TO see him on business.
Mr.. Finney's daughter. FIVE years
old, answered his ring. rs your
father imp asked the stranger.
No. replied the demurs maiden.
But walk in, poor dying sinner |
Mother can pray for you.'
George" asked the teacher Of a
Sunday school class. "who. above all
others. shall you first wish to see
when you get to Heaven? With
face Frightening up with anticipation
the little fellow shouted, "Gerliah."
Another boy asked by his father
whom be first wish TO see in Heaven,
and the horse-lOving boy quickly re.
piled, "Jehu, with his fast horses"
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1878-03-06
The State Grange.

The State Grange met at Nah
vile on the 18th inst. and he fol-
lowing is u SUNNI AIRY Of the most i'm
pOrLant business transacted A res
olution was adopted that the votes
cast by representatives. to the ses-
sion be limited to the number of
oranges in each county that have
made reports since December 81.
1875. and have not surrendered their
charters since reporting. A COM
mittee was appointed TO draft reso-
lutions relative TO the death Of w.
NJ. A. B. Haynes. A resolution was
adopted calling for tue remonetiza-
tion Of silver, the repeal of the re-
sumption law, free banking and the
payment of all interest bearing OBJ
legations according 10 the strictest
construction OF the original contract.
A resolution was also adopted favor
ing strict laws for the prevention Of
pilfering by thieves from farms at
night. The following officers were
elected for the ensuing year:
Master-Hon. T. B. Hartwell. OF
Giles county.
Overseer-Rev. j. K. Hancher. Of
Sullivan county.
Lecturer-Hon. H d. Green, of
Shelby county.
Sseward-Col. J. S. Gooch, Ruth
erford county.
Assistant Steward-A. j. Collins
worth, Crockett county.
Chaplain-Prof. Jehn V. Dobson,
Greene county.
Treasurer-A. ii. Sharpe, David
son county.
Secretary--J. II. Currey, David
son county.
Gate Keeper. w. Adams, Ma
con county.
The following lady officers were
elected:
Ceres-Miss Oltie Head, Sumner
county.
Pomona Mrs. NJ. E. Currey. Da-
wilson county.
FIora-Miss A, E. Wilson, Hou,-
ton county.
Lady Assistant teward-Mrs. A.
J. Collingsworth. Crockett county.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1878-03-06

A lady of Michigan has been very
successful in obtaining two flowers in
stead of one from every Towering sheath
of the calla lily. Her method is as fol
lows; As soon as the joint flower is cut
or begins to wither, pull the stalk down
through the open sheath clear to the
bottom. At the bottom will be found
standing, close to the stalk, another
bud, inclosed in a delicate covering.
Cut the old stalk away as close as pos
sible without injuring the bud, and if it
has net been kept back too long, it viii
grow very quickly.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1878-03-06
Useful Reeeints.

SToCK FANCY CAKEs.-Rub half a
pound eff butter into q pound ahd 9
half of flour break feur eggs into three
quarters of pound sugar, add whisk
them five minutes; make . print
with the butter and fisur pour the
eggs and sugar. and add half gill
of cream mix all into dough; cut
into pieces about two inches across.
and an eighth OF an inch th ok; COW
er the tins with buttered-paper; lay
The cakes on aud bake.
MoNTCLAIR DRoP-CAKEs. - Boat
up the white and yolks of six eggs
separately, with q spoonful Of rose
water; to which add elk ounces
powdered sugar; beat the whole
well, and add one ounce of bruised
caraWay seeds, and six ounces four,
drep them on wafer paper, and bake
in q moderate oven.
FLo-FLO CAKE.-One pound SUI
gar. one pound butter, eight eggs,
ond pound and a quarter 1eur. two
ounces currents, and half nutmeg /;
mix the butter With the sugar and
spice then add half the eggs, aod
beat for u few minutes; add the
rest Of the eggs. and work fer Ave
minutes longer stir in the -four and
currents, then bake into shapes.
RUNs.-One potato boiled very
soft mash and add the water it was
boiled. zone pint j let it cool make
4 batter Of this with wheat -four and
a tablespoonful IAdian meal, also a
2-cent compressed yeast-caks let it
rise in . warm place for two hours !;
then add a cupfull light brown su-
gar. the eggs, and two tablespoon
fuls butter. all beaten together
knead very soft iHts buns: let them
rise again, and bake about Is min
utes in q moderate oven.
Corn MUFFINs.-Ons quart wheat
GoRr, two teaspoonfuls royal baking
powder: add to it one cupful yellow
meal; cream together one cupful
butter, enc cupfuI sugar. three eggs;
ado one plat of milk; stir we'll, then
add -four and meal. Bake in nuf-
fin rings; hot even.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1878-03-06

81 rode in the carriage with the
widower." said the cook on her re-
turn from the funeral Of friend,
and then added: He said the fun
eral would have been nothing with
out me-"
How did Eve get those hobbies
A man grabs quilts and sheets at
one clutch. yanks them down and
dives into bed, but a woman care.
fully turns down each cover, smoeths
off the pillow. tucks down the foot,
and slides under the sheet as softly
rs q pawn-broker' statement.
A three-year old youngster saw a
drunken man "tacking" through Tie
street. "Mother." said he, did
God make that man?'' Yes, my
child" The little boy rejected .
moment. and then exclaimed: II
wouldn't have done it,"
Here is a good little story for
Moody to tell. In the history of
the American revival we have read
of a little maiden who besought
everybody she met to love Jesus.
When people told her she was crazy
she simply replied: "But if | am
crazy, that is no reason why you
shonli not love Jesus"
The Daily Telegraph. in leading
article. says nothing could we'll be
darker or more difficult than the pros
pect now before the country.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1878-03-06
To Business Men.

Advertising In the MoRRIsTowE GAZETTE is now
recognized by business men, having faith in theiH
own wares, as the most effective means Of secur
ing for thsir goods a wide recognition Of then
merits.
Advertising IN the 1IoRRLsTOwS GAZETTE iTnpels
inquiry, and when the article offered is OF good
quality and at q fair price, the natural result ID
increased sales.
Advertise in the MoRRIsTOwE GAZETTE is q
permanent addition to the reputation of the goods
advertised, because it is q permanent influence,
always at work in their interest.
Advertising in the MoRRIsTowN GAZETTE is the
most energetic salesman, addressing constantly
the public in the ADJ ertser's interest," and
lessy at werk, seeking customers from all classes
Advertising in the MoRRIsTowN GAZETTE pro-
duces trade, for, even in the dullest times adver
tisers secure by far the largest share of what is be
ing done
Advertising in the MoRRIsTowN GAZETTE en-
phatically pays. The paper is popular aid has 3
bOna-hde circulation Of one thousand. It is read
by the substantial business and agricultural class
of it's section, besides being the official paper Of
Hamblen, Claiborne and Granger Counties.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1878-03-06
A Tale of Three in a Bed.

l iAOhA Vic SSOt SOANA Al -
special telegram. there must have
been Yefy novel scene lately in al
aristocratie house i'm Richmond, Va
Mr. G. B. NJ. Smith lives with bis
wife and two lovely daughters, aged
respectively seventeen aud eighteen
years. in palatial brown-stone front
! on Church Hill. q fashionable quar-.
ter. At late hour one night Mrs.
Smith, before retiring, weRt to the
bed-chambsr OF the two girls to look
at the sleeping beauties before she
weht to bed. She wanted her dreams
filled with visions Of her charming
daughters. But mother Smith saw
another sight whsn she pseped in at
the dead OF night and discovered 3
strange red-faced man in bed be-
tween her household goddesses.
ALL three were asleep. She, was her-
ror-stricken. bnt said never a word.
She fed from That chamber OF limo.
cence aud whispered what she had
seen to her husband. Smith was al
most paraiyzed, and it must be con-
enough to dash and bewilder him a
little. lie went and saw for himself.
All three were still asleep. Smith
went to the front ,ioor and called a
policeman. while Dlrs. Smith watch
ed at the char4osr door. An ocicec
came. The strange man was rude'y
wakened aud hustled out Of bed.
This wakeaed the beauties aud they
first scream cd and theu tainted at
the sight OF the monster who had
crawled into their garden like the
serpent into Ellen. The strange
man with a red face was made to
dress aud follow the otlicer. lie
made some sort of an explanation of
his rather remarkable situation. He
said he was tight and didn't know
where he was. He was beuiltiered
10y the beauty by which he was sur
rounded and was got out or the
house as soon as possible. The next
morning he was taken before a pO-
lice justice and explained furrher.
He took the stylish brown-frGnt to
he q boarding house. He wanted a
place to sleep He found the door
unfastened and strOlIed ia. Seeing
he weRt up stairs and found
q bed ready warmed, He thought
the occupants were men, however,
or he wouldn't have dared. They
were asleep and he didn't waken
them. He was seon asleep himself,
and that's all he knew about it until
he was reused by the rude touch Of
the policeman. He was sorry TO
have tlespassed upon rights sacred
TO the family, but that was The truth,
the whole truth and nothing but the
truth. He gave his name as Charles
Kelley, and said he was from Ohio.
The justice thought he was not the
kind of man to be roaming around
loo in Richmond, and gave him
ak months in Jail. It was a very
bad and serious mistake and not de-
void or grim humer. 1t is probably
q little bit the strangest accident
of the kind that ever happened in a
respectable, well regulated family.
The old folks are perfectly satisfied
that it was a genuine blunder. and
that their sleeping beauties were en-
tirsly unconscious OF the rash intru-
der in their sanctuary of innocence
and purity.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1878-03-06

Mr.. Whitthorne. of Tennessee
generally manages TO hit the mark
at which he aims, and does not hesi-
tate to speak out plainly when truth
demands expression. When the res
olution to investigate Mr.. Polk was
before the House. lie said with q
pointed significance, not likely to be
misunderstood. to all concerned:
"He not only charges the present oc-
cupant of the position of Doorkeeper
with what regard rs a very serious
offence, but that of lobbyisn or being
interested in contracte depending upon
appropriations to be made by the House
Ishould like to see that subject thor
oughly and fully inquired into. l would
like to see the resolution broad enough,
not only to cover the case of Mr.. Polk,
but of every other gentleman engaged
in the business charged"
This is in the right temper. If
there are lobbyists holding offices
under the House. as has been charg-
ed. they ought to be looked after.
and if there are members OF that
body colluding with them under cov-
er, as seems to be minated. they
should get what all corrnptionists
deserve. Only few days ago the
professional lobbyists had To be
driven from the floor, when the whis.
ky bill was up. audi it is notorious
that the regular agents OF Scott and
Huntington have shown more audac.
ity At this session than a. any previ-
Gus time since the Credit Mobilier
investigation, when they almost
teok possession of the House, with
Mr.. Blaine in the chair.-N Y. Sun.
Whom did the pastry cook marrv2
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1878-03-06
All Sorts.

An old maid is primrose.
Slow matches-Long engagements.
A Detroit divorce lawyer has sent
his card to Alfonso.
Young women are advised to set
good examples. because young men
are always following them.
Miss Carrie Dover OF Iowa recent
ly embarked on the matrimonial sea.
She was car-ried-over in transports,
Of course.
The Shah Of Persia is going to
make another European tour. He
likes to be away from home rs mach
as possible.
Susan B. Anthony has refused the
heart and hand of the stone Inan OF
Colorado. just as we expected.
A Connecticut man told bis wife
he was bound to have q purgatory
on the top of his new house. OBJ
servstory was what he meant.
Senior is questioned "What is
the name OF that lady to whom sou
are engaged?" Senior blandly res
ponds: (which one % - Oberljn
ReVieeC.
The only evidence Of Mr. Lords
insanity We have observed is his
statemen. that he is the happiest
man in the world since he got mar
ried.
How many men who fiatter them
selves they are marrying wives COM
petent to manage . household, find
Oat after marriage how-sold. they
are!
No living wife knows her own
value. 1t ia only when q railroad
company Genes to bO sued that q
husband begins to learn what a
treasure he has lost.
John Morrissey said no wasn't
afraid to die, but what worried him
was the thought that he would leave
q rich and handsome widow behind
him.
Jane Gray Swisshelm is still firing
away at pantaloons+ Jane appears
to be little deranged gu this sub
ject--a pantaloonatic, so to speak.
Women are proverbialIy severe in
their criticism Of eaod others attire.
1t makes all the difference IN the
world whose dress is gored.
The New York Herald gives .
personal description of each of B.
Young's "a widows. aud carefully
suppresses the fact that there isn't
a good looking woman in the whole
lot,
A book publishers advertisement
I'm press-'A Beauti-
full Woman I" We are not surl1ris-
ed to hear it. The fellow who does
the pressing" is to be envied.
1t is said by women who know Ny
ra Clarke Gaines like a book that
she never removes her bonnet ex.
cept when going to bed. and that
she dons it in the morning before
she does her shoes OF dress.
I'm choosing wife," says the
chronological journal, ''be govern
ed by her chin. Have no personal
experience; but we have always un-
derstoOd that that is Lhe way they
are always goverDed.-[ Philadelphia
Bulletin.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1878-03-06

The Easton, (Pa.) Free Press
vouohes for the truth of the follow
ing: 1--WE don't want a Moore
township girl for a lung-tester. Al
a singing school up there the other
night a young man was Dragging
about the strength Of his lungs and
invited girl in the company to hit
him in the breast. She said she
was left-handed; had been washing
that day and WAS tired. and didn't
feel very active, but at his urgent
request she let 60 at him. Whsn
his friends went to pick him up he
said he thought he would die easier
lying down. He lost all recOIlec-
tion of having any lungs, but the
young woman csnseled hin by ad-
mitLiHg that she didn't hit him as
hard as she might have done, be
cause she rather liked him."
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1878-03-06

and for which they nevor gave
farthing in consideration.
In 1868 the government sell its
bonds TO the still further amount OF
1925 ,443, 800. Their purchasers
paid $312.s26. 1928, for them. clear
ing by that annual speculation the
sum of $112.617,477. Add six
years interest on this bonus.
amounting to s4O,542, ,228. to the
bonus itself, and we find that these
traffickers in a nations perils have
received in this operation $159 159.-
765 OF the peoples money, for
which not the slightest equivalent
was ever paid into the United States
treasury.
In addition to the foregoing per
cent. bonds, the government at
different times during the years
mentioned issued and sold $195.-
1895 of bonds bearing 5 per cent.
They realized to the government
$122,957,410, thus leaving to tie
purchasers a net profit OF $72,18
I40. Interest already pail on this
profit amounts to $26, ,1l5.72 which
added to the profit itself. makes the
sum of $98, ,297. .864 as the amouAt
now in the pockets OF the bond
holders growing out of their opera
tions in the 5 per cent. bonds, and
for which there is not the slightest
consideration.
An account of the bondholders'
clear profits arising from no invest
at all. may therefore be be stated in
the following tabular form:
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1878-03-06

The Tennessee penitentiary has now
about l 200 convicts-full, and still the
number increasing. If the people of
Tennessee can't make up their minds
to pay the State debt, they will hardly
agree to build another penitentiary, and
amid the increase of decentralization and
rascality we shall either have to re-es-
tablish the whipping post or do eonsid-
erable hanging, or surrender to thieves,
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1878-03-06

Columbus (Ga.) Enquirer: Two dou-
BILE cousins married perhaps eighty
years ago. They are now dead. They
lived in Harris county, and raised
twelve children, all whom lived to be
sixty years old and upward. Alternate
ly deaf and dumb infant was born
making six of sound bedy and six af-
ficted. The six deaf and dumb children
lost their sight at sixty years.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1878-03-06
Doings OF the Convention at
Toledo.

TOLEDO, ONO, Feb. 23.-The
Greenback Convention, after appoin-
ting an Executive Committee, ad-
journed sine die. The platform is
wordy. The report of tho proceed
ings closed with the following: AIr.
Dnrant, from the District OF Colum-
bia, said 3 dispatch had been Feceiv.
ed from Hon. B. F. Butler. which
was withheld from the press. Gen.
Butler urged the Convention to de-
nounce the modification or the silver
bill insisted on by the gold men. and
To pass anti-resumption resolutions.
A resolution was offered aud unani-
monsly adopted denounciAg the aiI-
yer bill just passed In Congress as .
delusIon aud Indignantly condemn
ing it as = financial measure.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1878-03-06

1t is thought that Lieutenant Flipper,
the only colored graduate of West Point,
will be appointed military instructor Of
the colored branch of the Texas A. and
M. College,
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1878-03-06

a boy was once aaIked by his
teacher. who made the world 2"
He made no answer. Thrice the
question was repeated. each time
more sternIy than before. At last
the boy burst into tears and said
II did but won't Go IL again."
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1878-03-06

The most remarkable statement
was, as Senator Beck declared,
carefully and truhfully prepared :"
The proof is in the ofiial records.
1T will satisfy the country" said
the senator, land ought TO satisfy
tho bondholders and their advocates,
that they ought not TO insult a suf-
ering people whose hard earnings
have gone to enrich them by any
complaint of want of good faith to
them in the effect we are making to
save the country from bankruptcy.
One thousand million of profits,
and yet the bondholders cry for
more! Let workingmen see in this
statement, the truth Of which is be
yond question. the main cause OF
the sutferings which they are now
enduring. Let PROSTATE and help
less industry understand that this
is the system which has made it the
prop of King ShylOck's throne, and
which still continues to wiring from
it, exhausted as it is, $700,000,0O0
annual tribute. Let greenback men
arm themselves with such facts and
figures as are given above, and SO be
prepared to overthrow King Shylock,
raise industry to iFs feet once more.
and bring back the prosperity and
happiness that were ours ere yet the
bonds that bind US had begun to
tighten On us and bear us down to
vassalage.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1878-03-06

A little girl (who liked to drive
horses and play balD-"I wish God
would smash me all to pieces aud
make me into a boy"
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1878-03-06

Whom did the pastry cook marry
His sWoet-tart, OF course.
Vicksburg weekly herald. (Vicksburg, Miss.) 1868-1883, 1878-03-15

0SE Josephus Woodruff was elected
Clerk Of the South Carolina Senate In
1858 and kept g private journal, which
has lately come 10 light. Il isa curious
epitome Of corruption and plumber.
In South Carolina, as in ell other car
pet-bag ridden States, there was 9 IRE.
publican Printing Company" In which
there were q great many silent part
ners. Gov. Moses, as q printer, got
$4,000; Treasurer CardoEa, In 3 like
capacity, Sl2. 500; Senator Owens, aS
one Of the company, 5000; while
there was a poor devil Of 6 senatOr, g
mere ret, who came in for only $50.
Nj. Woodruff, In remarking upon the
large sums which be dlsburSed to these
amateur professors Of typography, ju.
dIci0usly bayS: "Printers are the light
Of the world, and should be taken ARE
offs preferred creditors" Mr.. Wood
run has good reason TO admire tue art
preservAtive Of,all arts, and his friends
to bIsss the memory Of Gutenberg and
Faust. Every peculaiiOn in South
Carolina, in those peCulating times,
was charged 10 the account Of public
printing. The figures are perfectly
astonishing. The amount paid from
1858 TO 1875, Ostensibly for the
publication of the general laws, and
for other printing, was $l,S26,5S9-a
sum greater than that of the public
printing from the establishment OF the
State Government up to 1858, including
ell the payments made during the war,
In Confederate cuFrencvl