The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-12-07
VARIETIES.

Corn has not been so low since
1s45.
Solid North-Beyond the Arctic
Ocean.
"A home stretch-Over a mothers
knee.-PNcb.
New England makes AGO bushels of
shoe pegs daily.
Candidate for next President
Hoolyb ee.-G Graphic.
Life is as uncertain as a North
American savings bank.
"A new steamship line to China has
Just been started at Boston.
Less than 40 per cent. of the land
in Pennsylvania is improved.
Cure for felons-Arrest them
Cincinnati Commercial advertiser.
Farmers have learned that it takes
the best of soil to raise a mortgage.
"A strip of Nainsook, four inches
wide and hemstitched, is anew necktie.
Of all kinds of property, money
lent on good security is the most inter-
eSttng.
"A man, in New York has Just been
sent to prison for two years for stealing
a family Bible.
Romans have doubled the guard
over the grave of the well-known Cre-
sus. -Grapbic.
"A perspicuous Vermont legislator
said in speech: "My wife, who is a
married womanr'
"A country editor in Illinois writes:
"We are having hog cholera. "-NeW
Orleans Picay4aae.
The average yield of sugar in Pointe
Coupee Parish, Louisiana, is from l 800
TO 1000 pounds to the acre.
There ought to be lightning-rod
invented that would ward off dona-
ton party.-AiJaOaatbee San.
"A Paris worker in metals finds him
self with head of green hair from
some unknown chemical cause.
There are several new shades of
red which are fashionable this winter.
The same shade of nose is worn how
ever.
"A Kentucky editor says that in one
week he was addressed as Governor"
General" g Colonel" Major" " Par
oOu tlLu OlNl 11OSS.
AT single meal three or four AT
ghans find no difficulty in eating the
tail of a duamba sheep, a mass of pure
fat weighing from six to eighteen
pounds.
Pennsylvania tramps refuse to rec
ognize any leader who hasn't served at
least five years sentence in State
Prison. They are very select lot
Free Press.
-"rd offer thee this sand of mine"
is what the grocer sang to the customer
who wanted sugar. He was advised to
keep his sand in his crop and not to
deal it out
What do you honestly suppose
would become of this country, if we
had no Congress for the next five years?
Now answer, but speak one at time.
-HaWE-Eye.
Chicago allows an interval of only
twelve hours between summer and win
ter pork-packing. 1t is pretty hard to
tell whether you are eating summer
pig or winterhog.
Give the average American girl
her choice between going to heaven
and marrying into nobility, and see
how few charms Heaven has for her,
--Reobstk Constitution.
"A Mississippi Judge was just saying
that no one but coward would carry
a pistol, when his own fell from his
pocket, was discharged, and the bullet
hit lawyer in the leg.
Italian workmen are laboring for
twenty-three cents per day, and the
prices of all provisions are much higher
than here. This country isn't as bad
as it might be, after all.
Mr.. Flood, of San Francisco is
building little unpretentious dwelling
house that will cost S2,000,000. There
is contract which taken from the
Flood leads on to fortune.
Mothers whip their Children in
Gloucester just as the fishermen are
weighing anchor. This allows the men
to go to sea before spanking breeze.
-NeV Orleans Picayune.
The sum appropriated for the sup
port of the police force of New York
City this year was $3,999,965. Some
of the papers intimate that the city is
not getting the worth of its money.
Another one is that the bellies of a
certain city sold kisses at dime apiece
for the benefit of the yellow fever suf-
ferers, and that they do not manifest
proper joy at the determination of the
plague.
"A retired detective, in writing up
the records of his twenty-five years. ex-
perience, was greatly surprised to dis
cover that on two or three occasions |
he came very near catching somebody.
-HaOk-Eye.
"A schoolmistress at Newburgh, N. |
Y, was arrested for whipping boy.
She proved the boy bad, and instead of
having to pay $4,000 she secured YER
dict of 1926 against the boys parents for
the annoyance of arrest.
One time a lion met a elephant
and the elephant sed: "You better 90
and get your hair cut" But the lion
it sed: bah! shant resent feller's
insult witch has got his nose tween his |
own teeths. Little Johnny.
The medical students of Ohio have
caused post norton conversion of a
materialist who stoutly maintained be-
fore his death that there could be no