Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1878-06-14

THE TROUBLES OF A POET.-While
Colonel Bangs, editor Of the argus, was
sitting in his office one day, man, whose
brow was clothed. in thunder, entered.
Fiercely seizing chair, he slammed his
hat on the table, hurled his umbrella on
the floor, and sat down.
care you the editer?" he asked.
eyes"
<sCan you read writing?"
t'Of COURSE"
ssRead that, then,'' he said, thrusting at
the Colonel an envelope with an inscrip-
ton on it.
"B-' said the Colonel, trying to spell
it.
.sThat's not a B. It's an 81 said the
man.
SIS; oh, yes; see! Well, the words look
a little like Salt for Dinner or Souls OF
Sinners y said the Colonel.
s'No, sir.'' replied the man, nothing OF
the kind! That's my name, Samuel H.
Drummer. I knew you couldn't read. !
called to see you about that poem OF mine
you printed the other day. on the Sur
cease of Sorrow"
ST don't remember it, said the
Colonel.
'Of course you don't, because it went
into the paper under the title of Smear
case Tomorrow
ga stupid blunder of the compositor's,
I suppose. -
eyes, sir; and that's what want to see
you about. The way in which that poem
was mntilated was simply scandalous. l
haven't slept a night since. 1t exposed
me to derision. People think am an ass.
Let me show you.''
$50 ahead,'' said the Colonel.
1.-THE first line, when wrote it, read in
this way:,
Lying by weeping willow, underneath a gentle
SLOPE -
s'That is beautiful, poetic, affecting.
Now, how did your vile sheet present it to
the public? There it is. Look at that!
Made'it read this way:
Lying to weeping widow, to induce her to elope
ssWeeping widow, mind you! A widow!
@ thunder and lightning! This is too
muchl It's enough to drive man crazy!''
ssI,m sorry,'' said the Colonel; ''but-''
i.But look a-here at the fourth verse"
said the poet. That's worse yet. What 1
said was:
Cast thy pearls before the swine. and lose them in
the dirt.
ST wrote that out clearly and distinctly,
in plain, round hand. Now what does
your compositor do? Does he catch the
sense of that beautiful sentiment? Does
it sink into his soul? No, sir! He sets it
up in this fashion. Listen:
Cart my pills before the sunrise and love them if
they hurt
Snow, isn't that cold-blooded outrage
on mans feelingsl I'll leave it to you if
it isn't hard?"
cts hard, that's a fact,'' said the
Colonel.
"And then take the fifth verse. In, the
original manuscript, it said, plain as day
light:
Take away the iingling money, it is only gttering
dross.
ga man with only one eye, and cata-
ract over that, could have read the words
correctly. But your pirate, upstairs there
do you know what he did? He made it
read
Take away the jeering monkeys on sorey glander-
ed boss.
.sBy George, I felt like Draining him
with fre-shovel! was never so cut up
in my life."
SIT was natural, too." said the Colonel.
ssThere, for instance. was the sixth
verse, l wrote,
am weary Of the tossing OF the ocean it heaves.
'sIt's lovely line, too; but imagine my
horror, and the anguish of my family,
when I opened your paper and saw the
line transformed into
I am wearing out my trowsers till they're open at
the knees.
ssThatls little too muchl That seems
to me like carrying tho thing an inch or
two too far. think have constitu-
tional right to murder that composition;
don't your"
II think you have''
'Let me read you one more verse.
wrote
swell the flying echoes as they roam among the
hills, 80
And l feel my soul awaken in the ecstacy that
thrills
"Now, what do you s'pose your miser-
able outcast turned that into? Why. into
this
smell the frying shoes as they coast along the bulls
And peel my soul mistaken to the accuracy that
whirls.
sGibberish, sir! Awful gibberish! 1
must STAY that mani Where is he?''
HE is out, just now," said the Colonel.
s'Coms in tomorrow
II will, said the poet, land will come
armed"
Then he put on his hat, shouldered his
umbrella, and drifted of down stairs
Mar Adeler. ~
What is the difference between man
and tired dog One wears a coat. the
other papfa. -