The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1878-04-10
Mr.Miller's Twins.

1hey were in the parlor-car, just ready
to start for Pittsburgh, with the twins
MIS- Miller happened to remember thai
sne mad lett her satchel with the candy
woman IN the ladies' room, so she asked
MI. Miller to hold the children for a
minute, Wnleshe ran out to get it. Just
as she reached the waiting room the train
started. Miller did entertain faint hope
that she might have jumped upon the
hind car, but no. she did not appear, and
he began the journey in condition of
frenzy, with baby upon each knee.
TO add to the horror of the situation
he remembered that the nursing bottles
and the other baby appurtenances were
in that very satchel Mrs. Miller went to
get.
For awhile the babies were good. The
passengers eyed him little, and he had
an unpleasant feeling that he was Dos
sibly regarded as kidnapper; but he
bore up under it .bravely. About twenty
miles out, 1vanhoe, one of the twins, be-
gan to cry. Trying to soothe him, Miller
let Polycarp, the other baby, tip over. so
that it was necessary to catch suddenly at
him and bring him up with jerk This
set Polycarp to crying, and Miller kept
both OF his knees going in an effort to
quiet them. But the harder Miller iolted
the louder the twins cried.
He telt as if he would. like to sing to
them, but he was ashamed to do so before
the passengers. So he gave Polycarp his
watch to play with. That quieted Poly
carp. But Ivanhoe clutched at the watch
and organized contest with Polycarp
over It: This induced Polycarp to tune
up, and, between them, the watch drop
ped on the floor. While stopping over to
pick it up, Miller let Ivanhoe drop, so
that he bumped his nose against the
arm of the seat. Ivanhoe lifted up his
voice and wept, and Polycarp gave
equally violent expressions to his emo
ton. ....
"1iller felt certain they were hunorew
but there was not morsel of food on the
train, excepting glngernuts that the news
boy had for sale, and he knew they would
set the babies stomachs afre. Beside,
they had no teeth. Miller had a notion
recklessly to cram them full of the fine
cut tobacco he had in his pocket, and to
steel his heart to the consequences.
But Just then the train stopped. Put
ting the babies on the seat, he rushed
out and bought two slices of peach pie,
the only Wand for sale and then he
rushed back with it. Polycrap was on
the floor, head downward, and Ivanhoe
had swallowed three inches of shawl
strap. He Strengthened them out and
stuffed them with pie until their ewes
bulged out. It was effective for while,
but pretty soon they began to cry with
the stomach-ache, and in few moments
both of them were sick.
Miller began to feel that death would
be welcome relief from all this woe,
He began to wish he had remained single.
But there was nothing to do but to
stand it,
When night came, Miller put the
babies, grim with dust and cinders, and
smeary with pie, into the berth with him.
They cried all night, and the atmosphere
OF the car was heavy with improper ad- |
jectives hurled at Miller and the twins
by the sleepless and excited passengers.
In the morning as they glided into Pitts
burgh, Miller found that Polycarp had
gotten turned around and had been living
on top of Ivanhoe, kicking his heels in
1vanhoe's face during most of the night.
When he shouldered the twins and
walked out into the depot, he felt as if he
looked like tramp. He didn't dare to
go to hotel lest he should miss Mrs.
Miller, who would be certain to come on
the next train, so he sat down in the room |
to wait for her. A crowd began to gather
around him, and to watch him with curl
oslty; and policeman, who was about to |
collar him and run him out, was restrained
only by rehearsal Of his sad story.
Mr.. Miller waited there eight hours
feeling certain that the twins would be
dead by the time their mother arrived.
He was utterly miserable, and he knew
she would be nearly frantic.
A train entered the depot. A moment
later in walked Mrs. Miller, bright, chip
per and smiling. She said:
"Why, John, what's the matter? Amt
you well?'' .r7-... -.
saint I well?' .,.5. ....-...
''Thes babies, too, they look awfully.
What on earth have you been doing to
them 90. ,s.s -ss.Ja '.1. @.- -.. .. .
Doing to them?' replied John, getting
'Why you haven't taken bit of care
OF them, declare" said Mrs. Miller, be-
ginning to cry. ''I'll never trust you with |
the dear little sdarlings again" l....t-..
Miller rose. He planted Polycarp
firmly in one seat. He soused Ivanhoe
down in the other. Turning to Mrs. Mil.
Ter with1a tragic air, he waved his hand
and said, a1af ss ~.s-
There, madam, are your little darliags,
your internal little darlipgs! Take care
OF them yourself!' o# -
Then he pulled his hat over his ewes
AMI walked grandly out, resolved to com
init suicide on the spot. But he didn't
he returned in half an hour and took the
famllyto hotel; but he has registered a
vow never to travel again withouta nurse.
.Ao1 Adeler, IN N. 7. Weekly.