Sharp County record., 1878-08-09
A Bachelors Experience With Baby

L lnuIuDl6ulTh, WHO ID 10 lClLo OlI "lio
unmarried, dashed into our sanctum and
evolved remark, the intensity of which
fairly made our blood curdle. And
when he completed the remark, which
was neither very long nor remarkably
complicated, he picked up a dictionary,
hurled it at the proof-reader with great
asperity, and before that good-natured
and greatly abused angel of the editorial
staff could recover from his emotion and
load his umbrella Mr.. Thumbledirk was
gone. He dashed out of the door, miss
ed the stairway and stepped down the
elevator well, falling distance OF three
stories, but he was too mad and excited
to get hurt, and we heard him rushing
away down the alley, yelling and swear
inc till he was out of sight and hearing,
As he is usually very severe man, OF
habitual reserve, very particular and
guarded in his language, we were
amazed not only at his actions, but his
words. for which his excited manner at-
forded not the slightest explanation,
During the day, however, we became
possessed of certain facts which may
give the reader some clew to the causes
of this worthy and respectable citizens
violent and disrespectful manner and
language.
1t appears that about o'clock in the
afternoon, Mr.. Thumbledirk dropped IN
at the Union Depot to ask some queS-
tions relative to the arrival and de-
parture of trains, and while passing
through the ladies' waiting-roOm, he
was accosted by lady acquaintance
who was going east on the 1. Z. " w.
at half-past 2. She wished to 90 up
town to make some little purchases, but
didn't want to take her baby out in the
rain. Would Mr.. Thumbledirk please
hold it for her until she came back?
She wouldn't be gone more than i've
minutes, and Little Ernest was just as
good as an angel, and, beside, he was
sound asleep.
Mr.. Thumbledirk, with strange fut-
ter of his feelings, lied, and said he
would be only too delighted. Then he
took the baby, and the ticket agent, who
has two, knew by the manner in which
the man took the baby, and looked
anxiously from one end of it to the other
to see which end the head was on, that
he had never handled o human baby
before in all his life, and promptly
closed his windows to shut out the trOu-
BILE that he knew was on the eve of an
eruption.
Mr.. Thumbledirk is very tall, digni
fled man. He was rather annoyed, as
the m2the6 Of o6seETe dSe"fatSafI hat all TIE Women in
in the waiting-room were intently re-
garding him with various expressions
Curiosity predominating. he SAT uoWH own
and bent his arms at the elbows Intn II,
tbnv resembled in shape two letter s.
With the baby lying neck and heels IN
tho ancIe al the elbows, and ne looked,
and felt that he looked, like the hldeouS
s'iotrroS aHu ,~aS Of Nroloch. in the old Sunday
school books. ,
Mr. Tbunbledirk felt keenly that he
was an obict Of curiosity and lily re,
mresspd w NTH to the women around
him Now. dignifed man does not
nniov bejnoa laughing-stock for any
boSy and itis especially humiliating
for him to feethat he appears ridiculous
in the eyes ofTomen. ms 1eeLing IS
intensified VIII, the man is a bachelor
and knows le is a little awk-
ward and illat ease in the pres
ence of womer anyhow. So, as he
oazed upon the.ce of the quiet sleep
inr infant. he me an insane effort to
no e1.fao41,, Sv and. TO create the
impression that was an ola hlaIlleo tu
man and the faer of 26 children ne
disengaged one "a and chucKeo tne
hahv Under the n. About such chuck
as Won always r like giving boy with
{. nnttv-bjower or 4 "pea-shOOter."
T. kPpocted Pt tbe littrps, bud of a mouth
shut so quick ana a. n fAe e. papy ,aiE
couldn't catch its bres, r " zee Lt niln-
utes, and Mr.. Thumb 'hoGSI,,
with strange, terribl fat ca, OF the
heart, that it was juste disc mlgnt
have overdone the has = SrDet' nref,
young faso "omin sftng IN direct H vith p him,
ss Said I"i "0bia in a mil branch 'hriok,
and then figgIedi tent, a. nan @rap IN
black u5 q ( % - AKA lon to in a cal
i%tn sha" Az, ana ssSd, Z vt direct gasped
~ ".:TWh9 = in a sslon @, fat woman
with a small h'tatiOnsdron and a mar
ket bas!g ct 81 3 only rn!"s s5i and imme- nLle,.
diaty c.e. - her plump hands over
he,HoutS as though the exclamation
ID been startled from her, and tall,
Z E-boned woman, who wore horn spec
taces and talked bass, said "The poor
lamb" in such sepulchral tones that
every body else laughed, and Mr.. ThUm-
bledirk, who didn't just exactly know
whether she meant him or the baby,
blushed scarlet and felt his face grow so /
hot he cnnld smell his hair And his !