The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1878-04-06
A Sarcastic Mendicant.

=" I'm very hungry" said haggard
bowling obsequiously at the side entrance
of Court-street house. "Won't you
please, nam, be SO good as to give me
little something to eat. Anything will
do-odds and ends-cold or warm-it
don't matter, for Pm not one of them
high-toned, fried oyster fellers."
" My husband has forbidden me to en-
courage idleness by giving away any
more provisions" replied the lady of the
house. "He says you fellows have a
sort of Free Masonry way of letting
others know every house at which you
have been fed, and it is sure to bring
troop of lazy vagabonds upon us who
would starve before they'd lift hand
to work. So you will have to move on
and get your breakfast some place else"
But I'm not vagabond, nam; Pm
a Woodworking, industrious man. / came
up on boat from Memphis to see my
sick mother who lives out near Camden,
and isn't expected to live. | was robbed
on the boat of every cent I had and all
my clothes, while l was in bed. The
Captain gave me these old things.
don't like to beg, but Camden is good
stretch from here, and can't walk Il on
an empty stomach. Think of the out
stretched arms of a poor sick mother
toward her absent child, and put wings
on my feet with few cold potatoes. Pm
just at that point where l can eat 'em
without salt"
81 can't do it. They all have a story
about like that. The last man fed had
to go to Columbus inside of twenty-four
hours to save an innocent man from
hanging, but two days afterward / saw
him down town SO drunk he couldn't
hold his mouth shut"
Well, | never drink. If | hadn't
been robbed i could show you my Muir
ply ribbon that Pve worn till it's raveled
into strings. Long years ago / swore at
my mother hended knee-the same one
who means on her couch of pain because
Pm not with her-that / would never
touch the bhghting cup, and 1 hain't
from that time up to this minute. Can't
you help me to get there in time to COM
fort her declining hours with the joyful
tidings that l have been steadfast
through all temptation, by giving me
the cold grub you had intended to dump
into the garbage box? Pm awful
hungry"
Il can't help it. must obey my hus-
band-his orders were positive" said
the woman, snappishly.
swell, you're the most extraordinary
woman ever saw if you do. But say,
can't you give me the paper the beef
steak was brought home in, to chew as
go along. 1t may fool my stomach for
awhile and make it brace up by thinking
something better will be along presently.
You'lldo that much toward easing a fond
parents anxious heart, won't your"
No, / won't"
well, then give me newspaper and
let me set by the fire and read the ad-
vertisement of meat market and show
me the place where it tells all about pro-
visions. Even that would give me
feast-for the imagination-which has
been about the extent of my living
lately. You won't believe it, maybe, but
it's fact, that all the nourishment Pve
had for two days, is the bill of fare
painted On the outside of Fifth-street
restaurant. Can you think of that and
keep your stale bread on the inside of
the cupbOardT'
Eyes, | can, and l want you to make
yourself scarce without any more pa
LAYER, or | shall send my boy to cali
policeman" exclaimed the Indignant
woman.
:" Even the photograph of a chicken
would be some comfort," said the man.
by way of banter, as he moved off!
and if you don't use soap in your dish.
water few potato parings sliced up in
it would be regular barbecue for me.S