davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1878-11-19
HARD TIMES:
BY JOHNSON JONES.

Oh! take me friends, oh take me where
Hard times none ever cry,
Where bread and butter grow on trees
And sausages close by;
Where oysters dwell in constant steWs,
And devil'd crabs fall out;
> Where clans come ready cooked to hand,
And cooks can never pout.
g Oh! take me to some wilderness,
Far, far away from town,
Where turkeys roasted run about,
With gravy dripping down;
Where people never have to work, N
AS some do night and day;
Where one can get just what one wants,
And nothing have to pay.
Oh take me where no wicked still
OF strychnine whiskey's found,
Nor where champaign fills every rill,
And Cognac doth abound;
But where the most delicious fruit
The eyes have ever seen,
Spontaneous rolls from the mountains down
And every hill ice-cream.
Oh! take me to the land OF peace.
Where never comes dun,
Where people never go to law,
And lawyers never come;
Where crops are good and never fail,
And each one gets his share,
Where one may eat, and drink, and sleep,
Without an anxious care.
Oh! take me, do, where all the folks
Get plenty clothes to wear,
Where fashions never change, and pants
Do never burst nor tear;
Where satins, silks and bonnets, all,
May have full supply;
Where children are obedient,
And babies never cry.
Take me where wives good humor'd grow,
And gossips never talk,
And parsons less by preaching judged
Than by their daily walk;
Where doctors charges are unknown;
Where none grow gray and old;
Where chills and fever trouble not,
And quinine is not sold.
Oh! take me, for I'm awful sick,
Far, far from banks away,
Where meier another note I'll give,
Or have bill to pay;
Oh! take me to some wilderness,
Where all these things are found;
Oh! take me. take me quickly, for
I'm almost run aground.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1878-11-19

z Col. Conan, of the Burial World.
asked by a young man what sort of wife
be had better get to GO with him to the
frontier and hew out for themselves q
farm and fortune, advises him to find
the one photographed in Proverbs, XXI,
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1878-11-19

Young man, never go counting in
November without clean handker
chief in your pocket. The day and
hour on which cold in the head com.
eth no man knoweth. Kingston Free
man. fs.s Al-iit'i = f'- -i4il n
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1878-11-19

The Detroit Free Press announces the
engagement of Vic Woodruff to a Gin
cinnati man, who can play the har-
monicon with his toes. Victoria can
play the Old Nick with her tongue, so
they will grind out pretty good music.
Boston Post. --'o-S
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1878-11-19

There are proud moments in most
mems lives but the proudest is that of
the man in the target procession whose
girl steps out from the side walk and
graces his lowered musket with 25
cent wreath of flowers.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1878-11-19

There is more condensed profanity
buried in the bosom of the man who
wears pair of new shoes for the first
time than can ever be eliminated by any
ordinary exertion. -Hackensack Repu5
Ecdn. -resar
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1878-11-19

1t is an actual fact, demonstrated be-
You'd doubt, that the sound of fiddle
in house will drive rats away. You
see, the rats don't own any property,
and can get away as we'll as not.-De-
t,'oit Free Press.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1878-11-19

When man is hanging by his toes
from the cornice of a high building, and
expects momentarily to drop, nothing
SO completely treasures and so thorough.
ly satisfies him as the sudden discovery
that he is safely at home in bed.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1878-11-19

r., II do think Rose Mapleson is Just
lovely, she sings so sweet! don't you ?''
said Miss Pshoddie to our friend, the
critic, last night, and the remark set
him to thinking, too.-Jersey City Jour
nal.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1878-11-19

How TO KEEP SWEET POTATOES
Sweetpotatoes requirei temperature
of sixty degrees to keep them safely
through the winter. The best plan is
to make Slated bins or boxes, and keep
the potatoes in these in dry cellar,
which can be warmed by stove or open
fire if the weather is very cold. Or the
potatoes may be put up in heaps in such
a cellar and covered with dry sand. The
plants are started in the spring, at UGH
a time as will bring them ready for
planting out in May, in hotbeds made
with manure and covered with six in
ches of earth. No glass is required to
cover them, but instead of it, the beds
are covered with foot or TWO Of coarse
hay during cold nights or days.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1878-11-19

WHAT THE BIRDS EAT
From the Warsaw Union. IA farmer
wanted to borrow gun from neighbor
to kill some yellow birds in his field of
wheat, which were eating the grain
His neighbor declined to lend the gun,
for he thought the birds useful. In or
der to satisfy his curiosity he shot one
of them, opened his craw, and found in
it 200 weeviis and four grains Of wheat,
and these four grains the weevil had
burrowed. This was most instructive
lesson, and worth the poor life of the
bird, valuable as it was.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1878-11-19

HOW THE NATIVES OF NEW GUINEA
PUNISHED PRISONERS-GIVEN OVER
TO HUGE REPTILES AND BIRDS.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1878-11-19

New wells are black thread net, speck.
led or busted over with tinsel. They
are worn in mask style, and also in scar
YES that cross behind the head and tie
in the front. The small mask wells are,
however, most liked, as everything
about the new bonnets is compact and
without steamers. These black and gilt
wells are especially suitable with black
velvet bonnets that are trimmed with
old gold.
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1878-06-05
keokuk County for Cooley.


The Ne,cs published the indorse-
ment of L. NJ. Cooley by Ottumwa
citizens which appeared q few days
ago in the State Register, and was
copied by the Courier. The Ners
then adds:
"The letter addressed by the citi-
zens of Ottumwa to the State Regis
ter, puts in words not bit too strong
the claims upon the State of Iowa OF
l.. NJ. Cooley, one of the bravest of
the brave who wore the Union blue
at private's wages, who as a citizen
is equ ally brave, true and honorable,
and whose qualifications for any of
flee he would ask is attested by his
own work. The position of Iowa
has been to reward its faithful sol.
diery, and should be particularly to
those who, with no hope of fame,
heralded abroad by the trumpeters
of shoulder-strapped nincompoOps
and no hope also Of carrying home
more than pi:tance of the poor pa
per with which the government was
compelled TO pay it's braves, who re-
ceived in their bodies the deadly sho,
which, as with Cooley, gave not sim.
ply the torture of soldier suffering
in the hands of democrats, formerly
called Confederates, who finally sem
him home an almost helpless cripple
In endorsing the claims Of Cooley
we do not inyeigh against Capt. Hull
one Of our most intimate persona
friends. but this should not preven
us from giving through these col
umns The just claims Of one whose
noble sacrifice has never been reward
ed by the State. but has been recog
nized by his own county in the hum
| BILE office of Clerk
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1878-06-05
Rarkis ls Wiilin,.

G. Beal is a candidate for County
Judge in Kentucky, and thus writes
to the members of the Republican
Conventions:
81 am glad to inform you that
have already accepted a nomination
for that Office at the hands of the
W0rkingmen, and if you should fa-
vor me with a like nomination shall
be pleased to accept it, and if the
Democratic party should see fit to
give me similar nomination, will
also accept that at their hands; and
in fact, as yet, have placed no limit
upon the number of nominations that
/ would be willing to accent, if ten
dered me before the closing of the
polls on the Sd day of June"
The question now is whether Beal
or Judge Knapp is the inventor Of
this new plan of being endorsed, il
possible, by everybody, and cordially
accepting instanter. Judge Knapp
thinks, the Office being non-political
he can accept the nomination Of any
set of men regardless Of their plat
form, and SO thinks Judge Beal. A,
the jew would say, "Most rightfu
Judges, most learned Judges!" How
deftly they clfbp logic and dish up ar
gument for the filling oftheir platters
But one thing we note that is quit,
apparent: Judge KS logic leads hin
no further than to the democratic ant
greenback trough, whereas Judg'
Beal kindly caRdescends to maxi
known that he places no limit upol
the number Of nominations he woul'
accept. Judge B. calls Judge K. ant
goes him better without limit. w
must conclude, therefore, that Judg
X. was the author of this politics
recipe and that Judge b. is entitled t
a patent for his improvement upon il
They remind US much Of another car
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1878-06-05
Potter as a Reformer.
nlaho na,.xx.-os

Mr.. Clarkson N. Potter, who i.
Chairman of the Fraud Committee
is an unadulterated democrat, Hi.
pure soul years for reform and hon.
esty. He shudders at the sight OF
fraud. When it was resolved to re-
move DOorkeeper Polk that freshel
Confederate might take his place, Mr.
Potter was foremost champion of re.
form. Polk was too wicked for him
and he worked early and late for his
removal. When the job was done
Col. Polk told his side of the story,
and it put Mr.. Potter in no enviable
light. When Polk was chosen Door.
keeper he parceled out the subordi.
nate positions belonging to the disa.
bled soldiers roll. Mr.. Potter was
given one of these places. He is fond
of soldiers but has no bigotry on the
subject. A hungry democratic editor
in his district wanted the position and
Mr.. Potter desired Col. Polk to give
il to him. The Colonel refused. Mr..
Potter watched his opportunity, and
when Col. Polk was away from his
Post induced the Assistant Doorkeep-
er to swear in the editor. When Col.
Polk learned what had been done he
refused to pay Mr.. Potter's man. But
that pure statesman was not to be
beaten in any such way. He lobbied
a resolution through the house pro-
vlding for the payment of his man.
Col. Polk has defied Mr.. Potter to deny
the truth of this story, and the great
fraud investigator has said nothing in
reply. Perhaps he is too busy taking
care of the electoral frauds.
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1878-06-05

THAT Potter, of New York, whom
Southern democrats have put forward
as their representative tool to do their
bidding, has found it necessary to de-
ny by letter recently published, that
his investigation means unseating the
President; means revolution. Every
sensible man i'm the land knows that
the Northern democracy dare not and
do not control results in that party
no, not even their own action. Their
masters are the Southern democracy,
and however much they of the North
fuss and protest, they finally fall into
line. They did thiseven when South
ern democracy rebelled and trampled
upon the old flag, and they will do il
again as soon as called upon. They
would repeat their action of 'Gl if call
ed upon to do so. All over the South
the investigation is said to be aimed
at Hayes; if not that then it is worth.
less and folly to make it.
The audacious spectacle is to-day
presented to the world of party o1
traitors demanding exemption from
blame and from even the mention O
their own great crime, and at the
same time demanding the trial of Un
ion men ard the reinstatement il
power of the traitors as the verdic
of q one-sided inquiry.
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1878-06-05

submitted his memorial and resolu.
tion to the Maryland Legislature, il
was ridiculed by everybody. Now
the movement has taken definite
shape, and is subject of comment
among the people. The object of the
Potter investigation is to educate the
public mind. The testimony is i'm
pOrtant only in that direction. Our
purpose is fixed. The democratic
party will use the machinery of the
Federal Government to elect the next
president"
Another said, cat the proper time,
II necessary, we can concentrate at
the Capital, without attracting atten-
tiOn, enough men to carry out any
purpose which the democratic party
may have to accomplish"
Another, fixing the time for the in
itial steps, said: "By December this
investigation will have proven the
fraudspracticed in order to place Hayes
in the presidential chair, and we will
refuse to receive his annual message.
We can control the Senate on that.
but, if it cannot be done i'm December,
we will have both houses after March
4th.o
1t is evident from such expressions
from men high i'm the democratic par
ty what the real purposes of the dem
ocrats are, Notwithstanding their eff
forts to disguise their real meaning.
The Potter Investigating Committee
have been in constant conference with
members of the National Committee
and the ranrpSnntotiynS nf tho V>ildo,,
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1878-06-05

Gus. Its effect will be to disturb the
peace, harmony and quiet of the
country. Neither Mr.. Potter nor any
body else can prevent ii, and 1 say to
him most respectfully, that nothing
snort OF immediate, general and firm
concert of action Of the law and or
der.abiding people Of all parties, Re-
puDilcans and Democrats throughout
the U nion in reprobation of the in
vestigation proceeding any further,
with view of disturbing the Presi-
dents title, such a. announced by the
Pennsylvania Democratic Convention
few days ago, can arrest the most
fearful consequences. Those who
have, though innocently, sowed
the wind, will reap the whirl-
wind. My own opinion is as
l have repeatedly said, this affair
will provo in the end either a con-
temptible farce or horrible tragedy.
1t will lead to the Mexicanization Of
our federal republic. This'result must
show. But l say, as said on anoth-
or recent occasion, that all soft words
in the minds of the people
Of this country, the idea that Mr..
Hayes can be peaceably unseated by
Congress are as delusive and as
guiltful as the whispering of the
great arch fiend in the shape of q toad
in the ear of Eve, from which spring
all our woes. Very respectfully,
ALEX. I'll. STEPHENS.
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1878-06-05
CONGRESSIONAL.
HOUSE.
WAsHINGToN, May 20.

WASHINGTON, May ~.
Wood called up the motion to post
pone consideration Of sine die ad-
journment until June Sth, and as
there appeared some doubt as to the
presence of q quorum, moved to ad-
journ which was defeated.
The motion to postpone to June
Sth consideration Of the adjournment
resolution was defeated, 1872 to l26, a
party vote, except that Aiken, Bell,
Bland, Bruck, Buckner, Cutter, Full.
Ter, Hardenburgh, Lsnders, Morse,
Pridemore, Rea and Willis voted with
the Republican. and the three Kansas
member with the Democrats.
Wood then moved to table Senate
resolution to adjourn. Rejected l3l
to l25.
A resolution to adjourn June 10th
was then defeated, I31 to l27. The
Democrats who changed on former
vote to adjourn we're Bell, Harden.
burgh and Saunders.
Wood then moved to make ad
journment June Oath, and Clymel
moved to make it the l7th. The cal
ON Clymers amendment resulted, yea
l64. nays 93, and senate resolution fol
final adjournment as amended Il
make date 18th of June was theI
adopted.
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1878-06-05
Train Robbery.

SALT LAKE, May 3O.-About 10
O'Clock last night party of four
masked men boarded the west bound
passenger train, just after it left Per-
cy Station, entered the middle Sleep
ing car and proceeded to rob the pas
sengers. They took q watch and one
hundred dollars from one passenger.
fifty dollars and tickets from another.
9 gold watch and thirty-five dollars
from the sleeping-car conductor. At
that time some one pulled the bell
cord and the robbers becoming fright
ened jumped off. They fired three
shots into the sleeper without injury
to the passengers. They struck one
passenger with pistol, cutting his
scalp some. 1t was all done in three
minutes, and the robbers were out of
sight in the darkness before the train
stopped. The ground being wet,
their trail was discovered at daylight
this morning, and large force of
armed men started in pursuit. The
U. T. r. r company offered a reward
of 500 each for the arrest of the rob-
bers.
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1878-06-05
OTTUMWA, IOWA, JUNE 5, 1878.
and, though much money is thus ex.
pended, the result is not quite salts

and, though much money is thus ex
pended, the result is not quite salts
factory.
1t is rigid rule, and sensible one
that metallic presents shall be of ster.
ling silver, and not electro. plated
The trouble is that variety is not ,
distinguishing element in these gifts
Spoons, forks, and above all, butter.
knives, are duplicated, over and over
again, and 80 with other ordinary ar.
ticles of table plate. At a recent bri.
dal reception which | attended An
agreeable novelty was a library OF
two hundred and fifty wcll-selected
and handsomely-bound books, in a
revolving library case, which occu-
pies very little room.
Good paintings and water color
drawings of high merit are also nice
bridal presents. Easy chairs, loung-
es, library chairs, work. tables. dress.
ing-cases, handsome writing desks.
and SO on, are better surely than the
endless iteration of the perpetual
butter-knives.
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1878-06-05
Henry Clay Dean for Weaver.

Dean attended last Saturday the
democratic County Convention at
Oskaloosa, Iowa, and made them a
speech. A correspondent of the Dai.
ly Des Moines Ne,cs says:
"Mr. Dean spoke for nearly two
hours and as might be expected the
burthen of his talk was mainly upon
republican misrule. The leaders OF
the republican party were caressed in
the most endearing terms of literary
phraseology peculiar to Mr.. Dean.
'They were made to appear as de-
mons of darkness, beside which Satan
and his imps are angels of light. This
is the manner in which heapproaches
reputation; he claims the debts of
the nation, states, counties and munic-
ipalities, reach hundreds of millions
beyond the total valuation of the
country, and the interest thereon is
largely in excess of the entire reve-
nue. OF the country, and hence the
EGsoBBsng GsSBsfn arf6 tseSh deeettSg te tge aa b
servitude on the one hand or repudia-
ton on the other.
In closing Mr.. Dean made very
touching appeal to his allies, the dem-
ocrats, to drop all party consideration
and unite in one common cause to
oust the republicans from power, and
save the nation. He urged the inn
portannce to democrats Of their sup
porting Weaver as means of the fl
nal coalition of the opposing elements
into one grand and formidable party,
which would march to the polls in
Octoberand achieved a certain victory"
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1878-06-05

Henry Clay Dean in his speech
here last Saturday was loud in his
expressions of ofsympathy for the "poor
soldier" He said his heart bled for
the poor orphan of the soldier, or the
widow whose frail body was buffet
ted about by the storms of adversely,
ETC., etc. Every soldier has q vivid
remembrance of how Dean sympath-
lied with the soldiers when they
needed sympathy and encourage
ment; when taking their life in their
hands they went forth to suffer, per-
haps to die, for the preservation OF
the rights of freemen that such men
as rebel Dean might enjoy the bles.
sings Of their victory. Where was
his sympathy then; aye, where wat
it. He says it was with the soldiers
granted, but the soldiers he sym.
pathized with wore the gray. Hea,
some of his utterances made then:
Extract from Henry Clay Deani
Speech, in Reply to how he would
reconstruct the Union.
s1f I could have my own way
would place jeff Davis in Congress
where he rightfully belongs; then
would go to Concord, and take al
those miserable old battle flags from
the State House yards; then woult
60 all through the North and destro,
all the monuments and glave-stone
erected to the memory of soldiers ii
short put out of sight everythin,
which reminds us that we ever had,I
war with our Southern brethren.
do not know as | would hang one
legged and pne.armed soldiers, bu
would pray to God to get then
out of the way as soon as possible"
Extract from II. c. ID. Conversation
at Ottumwa.
"These one-armed soldiers who ar
thrust under our noses as objects Q
charity are .ft carcasses for The ga
Il lo,csw
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1878-06-05
HERE is where the shoe pinches the

HERE is where the shoe pinches the
Keokuk Constitution. Greenbackers
should nominate former democrats i'm
order to please the Constitution, as it
pretends, but we are inclined to think
our contemporary and democratic jour-
mails generally really rather prefer
that greenbackers should nominate
former republicans because they there
by hope to coax republican green
hackers to throw away their votes
and at the same time disgust demo.
cratic greenbackers so that they will
return to their first love. But here is
the way the Constitution turns up its
nose:
"a. III. Bereman and Gen. Weaver
who are the greenback nominees in
this (the tirst) and the Sixth districts
have been radicals until recently
They have become ashamed of or dis
gusted with their party, which is very
commendable SO far as it goes. But
instead of entering the democratic
ranks and making their way up a
they should have done, their ambi
tion and their desire for Office leads
them to start . new party and to try
and wheedle democrats into coming
over and voting for and with them
What claims they have to any man.
vote who has ever called himself {
democrat is beyond our ken. Ger
tainly the mere entertaining of green
back sentiments does not entitle then
to such favor; for whoever will be tn,
nominee of the democracy in thes,
districts will be, unquestionably, a
sound as they are on that issue, ant
will be more entitled to Democratic
support. 1t is very cheeky, not t
call it by any worse name, for tn
greenbackers to ask democrats to sup
port radicals for political offices, whel
they have so many good men of thei
own, who will represent their views
to select FROM"
We must be candid enough to sa,
that an elevated nose may be excusa
BILE in the cases mentioned, especial,
in the case of Weaver.
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1878-06-05

Mr.. POTTER in his letter says that
they do not aim at revolution, and
says there is no power to unseat Pres
ident Hayes, but he supplements this
with the following language,-we use
his exact words: "We may not beable
to do all that we wish now, but give
us an overwhelming majority in the
next Congress and wewill takespeedy
action" 1t is apparent therefore that
should the people give the next House
to the democracy they would take it
for granted that it wasan Endorsement
Of their revolutionary policy and that
they would proceed to carry out such
expressed will of the people in un-
seating Hayes and installing Tilden.