The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1878-10-10
WtT AND HuM0R.


of four summers, s'listen to the wind
making music for the leaves to dance
by"
A New York woman says there
would be thousands more tramps
than now if it were not for the noble
self-sacrificing of the fair sex in
marrying and supporting them.
If the representatives of the "Cvm-
mercial Gazette and s:Dispatch''
had examined Kirk the evening he
appeared at Library Hall, they might
have found a good suit under that
"old duster.''
The cuckoo doesn't steal nests
from other birds. After two hundred
years of misrepresentation naturalists
have placed the bird where it belongs.
1t has no nest at all, but wanders
around like an American girl in search
of a titled husband.
We don't mean to say that Petaluna
is a particularly poor town. but once
when misguided San Francisco
burglar tried to enter store in that
burg the inhabitants caught him,
went through his pockets, and business
generally frightened up in conse-
quence for the next six months.
Police PROSECUTOR to prisoner:
"Annie POsey. you are charged with
creating disturbance; what do you
say to that-guilty or not guilty %
"YOur Honor, I'd like to have my
case continue till Saturday, till can
earn some money to pay de fine. as I
spose I'll be fined"
A continuation was granted.
A Milwaukee young lady refused to
accompany young gentleman to a
dress party recently because he came
for her attired in white linen coat.
He explained that it was his buster.
1t turned out that he was the best
dressed man there, and the young
lady, after recovering from her NOR
ed of her stupidity.
In country theatre where Macbeth
was receatly played bya clever man,
who was also great favorite with
the audience, in the banquet scene
he had delivered his words to the
ghost of Banquo, Hence! hence
hence!" when, he dropped on his
knee, covering his face with his robe.
and shuddered convulsively. Just as
the applause was over, a youth in the
gallery, carried away by the intensity
of the acting, cried out. "It's all
right now, Smith; he's gone!'
The gas suddenly went out at San
Jose concert the other evening, and
when it was relit young lady in
dignantly accused a happy locking
man who sat on the next bench Of
kissing her in the darkness. The man
tried to explain. but some of the
lady's friends seized and proceeded to
fire him out with expedition. As
they reached the door, the victim
managed to gasp out, "Me kiss a
Woman! Why, I'm just divorced.
That settled it. He was apolOgiZed to,
and the man of experience proudly
resumed his seat.
A sneak thief concealed himself in
the parlor closet of a San Francisco
house early one evening without a
suspicion that there was to be little
entertainment in the room that even.
ing. "A young ventriloquist was In
the party. and when he began his
performance he went innocently to
the door, knocked and said. .sWhat
are you doing in therei Come out Of
that" The thief came out and 90
suddenly that the ventriloquist struck
the floor with the back of his head.
The former was not too much sur.
prised. however, to sweep the spoons
Oh the table into his pocket and the
hatrack overcoats over his arm as he
made his escape.
The ten cents Of difference between
the trade dollar and the old dollar Of
our daddies, has at last been accoun.
ted for in the following style. A
superintendent Of Sabbath school.
desiring to teach some finance to the
scholars. produced an old dollar and
trade dollar, and asked the scholars
Il they could tell him why the old dol.
Lar was worth 100 cents, while the
trade dollar was worth but 90 cent?.
after the coins had passed around Is
the last Of the class, one little chan
said he knew. Taking the trade doi-
lar he pointed 1t these words. ssIn
God We trust, " said be, 10 trust e.
foE to ten eeutG. ~