The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1878-07-30
STONED down to investigate the phenom.

stopped down to investigate the phenom-
enon. Oh, what was my despair when
she discovered who it was, and in what
plight!
TO say she laughed would be to give a
feeble idea of the peals of laughter that
succeeded each other as she stood and
looked at me. She would try to control
her merriment for a moment only to
break forth afresh, until she was obliged
to sit down from sheer exhaustion.
Every time she glanced at my woe-be-
gone countenance, and drenched condi-
ton, she would 60 into fresh commissions
of fun. At last she recovered breath
enough to inquire into my case, and to
assure me she would do what she
could for me; but she soon found,
to my despair, that what she could
DO was not much to my relief. The
clothes could not be got of, and certain
ly they could never be got clean. She
ala manage, with strong pair of shears,
u tnc OF Va. SvH:s.s Il. n II cccscs s
and then, fearing my mother would be
alarmed, she babe me 60 home, and she
would promise TO secure me against a
whipping.
l fancy she thought this last promise
would be easily kept.
Somewhat comforted, ] took up my
line of march toward the paternal roof,
but as | went along, my heart began to
sink again; visions of a rod, with which
my not too sanity character had made
me somewhat familiar doomed up before
me; but worse than all, the thought of
my brothers ridicule made my sensitive
spirit quail. l thought l would evade
all for that night, however, by going
quietly up the back stairs, going to bed,
and "playing sick" Fortune favored
me. Preached the bedroom without be-
ing seen; and, Just as was, with my hat
on, for it could only have come off with my
scalp, I got into bed, and covered my
self entirely up with the bed-clothes It
was now dusk, and felt for the moment
quite safe. Presently my aunt came
into the room to get something for which
she was looking, and I could hear her
give several inquiring shifts, and as she
went out heard her say: ~ certainly
do smell tar; where can it come from?"
An interval of peace followed, and then
in came my mother "Tar2 Smell tar?
OF course you do; it's strong enough in
this room. Bring light"
My mother soon came up close to the
bed, and held the light so that it fell full
upon me, and tried to turn down the
bed-clothing. Probably, if it had not
been for several previous scrapes in
which had been involved, she might
have been much frightened; but as it
was, the sight of her young blackamoor
had much the same effect upon her as
it had upon my cousin. Her exclama-
tons and shrieks of laughter brought
every member of the household success
sively to the room, and as one after an
other came in, fresh zest seemed to be
given to the merriment of which was
the unfortunate victim.
But every renewal Of the fun was an
added agony to me, for l clearly foresaw
that it would be rehearsed by Jack and
Tom to all the boys in the nei ghborhood.
Beside this, | was not in condition to
be hilarious. Plastered with tar from
head to foot; streaming with perspiration
at every pore; my clothes drencbed; my
hair matted together, and my straw hat,
soaked with water, fastened upon it, and
falling limp and wet about my eyes;
was not rendered more comfortable by
the fact that | could not move without
taking pillow and bed-clothes with me,
as, in my desperate desire to conceal my
self from view, had become enwrapped
in the bed-clothing like caterpillar in
its chrysalis; and | was conscious of
dim fear that if | sat up, with the pillow
stuck fast in the top Of my hat, the
sight of me might produce fatal results
on the already exhausted family.
At last the point was reached where |
thought patience ceased to be virtue,
and rebelled against being any longer
made spectacle.
I declared if they would all 60 away
but mother, would tell her al labout it.
The crowd retired, commissioned to send
up crock of butter, tub of hot water,
and a pair of shears. Maternal love is
strong, but doubt if it was often put to
severer test of its long-sutfering than
was that Of my mother that night.
Suffice it to say that, after my clothes
had been cut to ribbons, the sheets torn
up, my head well nigh shaved, and my
whole person subjected first to an Afri-
can bath of melted butter, and afterward
to one OF hot soap-suds, / had mad r,y ill
Of bathing for one day, and was, shortly
before midnight, pronounced to be toler-
ably clean.
P. 81 never made any marbles of
coal tar.-,S. Nicholas.