The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1878-01-24
Miscellaneous.


especially, eh
words" says Lavater "are the wings
OF action" Now, Mary, get up and make
the fire-git.
When Tennyson said "the war drum
throbbed no longer" he couldn't have
referred to our Sixth ward rum.
A pint of peanuts will keep George
Francis Train a week. That's why this
country 10 down on peanuts.
rs there hell? asked Canon Farrar,
well, Canon, just you get home from the
lodge about | a. m. without latch key
and see for yourself.
1T seems appropriate" said the oficia-
ting clergymen, that we should sing i
would not live always IL was great
favorite OF the remains"
Professor Cunning says that after
million years glaciers will cover Ohio -
Then as now, we suppose, everybody out
there will be trying to get office.
Olive Logan says no English house ser
want will do the washing and ironing her
self-Graphic. But Olive don't tell US
who does wash and iron her.
He who receives a good turn should
never forget it; he who does one should
never remember it,
Right is right, though only one man in
a thousand pursues it and wrong will be
forever wrong, though it be the allowed
practice of the other nine hundred and
ninety-nine.
Hogg says at is curious fact that
children are the best judges Of character
at first sight in the world. There is an
old Scotch proverb, They are never can
ME that dogs and BARNS dinna like" and
there is not more true one in the whole
collection.
Jeremy Taylor says of marriage: "If
you are for pleasure, marry if you prize
your health, marry if money be your
object. marry. A good wife is Heavens
last best gift to man, his angel aud min
lister Of graces innumerable, his gem of
many virtues, his casket of jewels.
Another illustration Of the dignity of
labor: The workmen employed on the
East River Bridge occupy the most ele-
waited and commanding positions and are
most looked up to of any men in either
New York or Brooklyn.
Country Gentleman Ito foreign friend).
"Hii there. Fire, man Don't you see
that hare back there r. Foreigner: "Vat2
Shoot re poor ting down as il retreat P
No, no, my good saire. Wait till he turn
about and face me- then will"
The Hawkeye man says that they are
now calling the dollar of the fathers the
Nevada Moon !" but just why it is una
BILE to tell, unless it is because it has four
quarters, or because it is so variable, or
because of the lunacy of its advocates.
This is from the Spice column of the
Commercial Bulletin 1--WE were shown a
very beautifully decorated piece OF pot
terry yesterday. 1T was deep red on the
outside, aud the inside was decorated
with two quarts Of beans and half pound
ofpo7k."
"Oh that were the Balkan Mount
ainsr sighed he to the ticket agent
THAT 10, indeed, a remarkable wish" re-
piled he. And why, pray, would you be
anything so impracticable r Because,
returned the dead head, "if ] were the
Balkan Mountains, you see, could have
nine passes.
Spurgeon says he has often thought,
when hearing certain preachers of high
order speaking to the young, that they
must have understood the Lord to say
Feed my camelopards," instead of feed
my lambs" for nothing but giraffes could
reach any spiritual food from the lofty
rack on which they place it.
A man was wheeling barrow across q
churchyard not twenty miles from Man
chester, England, when he was threaten
ed by the clergyman with condign pun
ishment for his daring outrage in pollut
ing his consecrated ground by his wheel
barrow. The man, scratching his head
said II did not know but the wheelbar
row was consecrated too. for bo rrowec
il of the sexton"
A gentleman having boasted that it we
easy enough to do" railway companies
out OF their fares, AID that he had passed
from one station to another of certain
road the day before without ticket, wa
approached by an officer of the road, wh'
wanted to kno7 how it was done. Th'
gentleman agreed to tell for consider
ton" 1t was paid, and then the Office
said: NOW tell me how you did it. =
II walked" quietly replied the gentleman
A party of young men were tellin
what they would do were they shipwreck
ed far out upon the sea, and left bulletin
with the waves, without plank to sui
tain them. Each one gave his opinion
excepting Paddy Murphy, who, after be
ing asked for his, replied bad cess t
We for a cowardly set of spalpeens Ye,
be afther savin yerselves, an not thryir
to save anuther. Why, it's Paddy Mul
ply that would swim to shore an saw
himself, an thin come back an try t
save anuther.
painter once store did keep,
And he was quite joker;
For when he found his girl asleep.
He with yellow ochre.
When he with yell awoke that girl
The painter thought he had her
But she, though mad when she lay down,
Undoubtedly rose madder
His girl woke up brimful of mirth,
And Joined him In a cotillion;
He hugged her close, for she was worth
At least quart of vermillion.
In St. Johns College, Oxford, there
avery curious portrait of Charles ], don
with a pen, in such a manner that tn
lines are formed by verses from th
Psalms, and so contrived as to contai
every psalm. When Charles ii, was ono
at Oxford, he was greatly struck by thi
portrait, begged it of the College, an
promised, in return, to grant them tcha
ever request they should make. This the
consented to and gave his Majesty th
picture, accompanied with the request
that he lcould return IL.
II is gr atifying to know that even Sta
ley Matthews is not entirely dead to th
degradation his conduct has brought ul