The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1878-03-29

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The cottage to which Mrs. Motley
conveyed me was a low, rambling af-
fair, built Of stone, and neatly white
washed. It sat in a deep enclosure Of
quaint old pickets, iu the midst Of "a gar
den Of vegetables and flowers, overlook
ing a bayou where the natives came
regularly, VIXEN the tide was in, to
bathe and fish and frolic.
AS the cottage was furnished and in
perfect order, we were spared the pleas
ing excitement Of resorting to all sorts
Of ingenious devices for the qualification
Of our tastes and the accommodation Of
our slender purses, and soon the time
dragged heavily.
Mrs. Motley sang and chirruped and
hustled about, but / could plainly see
was not so well-contented with her lot
as she would have been pleased to have
me believe.
As for me, my baby occupied my time
and meditations for a season. He was
the veriest autocrat alive; and !, who
had left my fathers house to escape tyr
amy, and had married because was
determined 10 be free, found myself
bound, as any other girl may expect to
be who undertakes the same expert
ment, TO a servitude from which there
was no escape, day or night.
Motherhood is as natural to women as
TO birds. The bondage il enforees is in
itself a pleasure, when it comes, as in
the natural order Of things it should, to
mature, well-developed women who de-
sire il. But children have no business
10 be mothers, and heclose confinement
to the care Of children, only less childish
than themselves, which such a eondi-
tion under such circumstances imposes,
is itself a direct violation Of every natu-
raj right of a child-woman.
But did not know it then. only
knew that, dearly as I loved my baby
Gerald, was not q patient cr judi.ious
mother; and, dearly as I loved him, ]
sometimes felt that I hated him also.
This may seem to you paradox, kind
friend, bat it is true. Sometimes, for
days, I would lose sight of the marked
resem biance OF my child to the one man
I detested, and then 7 would endeavor
TO trace the features Of Gerald, my hus-
band, i'm his dimpled face, and faucying
could find them, would be satisfied
with my lot. But this delusion would
last but for a season, and again would
be plugged In despair
Mrs Motley relieved me Of the care Of
my autocrat whenever I would permit
her, which, as 7 loved my ease, or,
rather, my liberty, as well as most chill
dren, was not seldom. But 1 was
strangely restless and discontented al
most all the time My system had re-
ceived a nervous shock for which had
not been prepared, and il was difficult
to rally. I worked in the garden,
cooked, ! washed dishes-anything to
frame an excuse TO rid myself Of nursing
my child.
"Ive taken care Of young ones all my
life'" ] said, petulantly. 81 married to
get out Of the business 90
And with this unwomanly, but wholly
child-like declaration, I would shake
my neck from disagreeable duties, and
leave them to my amiable friend.
To this day / cannot imagine how she
could have been so patient with me
Surely did not deserve it. She had
her own troubles, too, poor thing
though she never complained, bu
sought, by constant word and deed, {,
inspire me with hope and courage.
There was an old-fashioned melodeor
in the house, a rickety, wheezy affair
with a bellows which required mucl
pedal exertion to keep it inflated; but i
contained a keyboard of four octaves
and upon this apology for musical in
strument she managed to give me les
sons enough to make me detest music
Then, finding what an intractable stu
dent 1 was, she turned her attention {
civilizing and eulightening the native
around the bayou, who were at FRS
very shy Of her, but gradually, throug
the gifts Of meat, bread, and occasions
oonoons She bestowed, grew very famil
lar indeed, quite too much so for on
comfort
Near the cottage, and at the loweren
of the vegetable garden, was a lou Ion,
narrow building, evidently erected !
the years gone by fora goat and donl,a
stable. Mrs. Motley had this rn5
structure reftted, cleaned, and whit,
washed, and into it she gathered thr,
or four score Of the unkempt, grown-t
children Of the Australian continent,
whom she sought 10 impart seoul
knowledge and the Christian religio
But, though she succeeded tolerab
well with the former, ] never could s
that her progress with the latter was
all satisfactory. True, her efforts we
trumpeted in the old country as a gre
work for the Master, aud possibly th
were, but have always been so mu
OF pagan myself that it has been dif
cult for me TO see much OF "the fru
meet for repentance" supposed to