Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1878-05-04
THE LIVERY OF WOE.
Some Of the Absurdities of ssMOurn.
ings Dresses.


al others bound The most to be conventional
that What is held to be the most sacred of emo
tons should be compelled TO Obtrud itself ia
all behOlders and to trick itself out for the
common gaze duty intense to the regulation
pattern Sorrow for the dead must be SORROW
by the yard regrets have their measure in tue
width of a hathand and the depth of a tuck.
Other griefS are taught to 60 patient and 90
Scure but this f1auntS itself in uniform, puts
on, as ii were, a label, "Genuiue grief, very
MAKES max sn It's GIL"aa gaI0 Us adsef
absolutely under the rules OF fashion and Ell
quette il has no spontaneous symbolism, no
meaning OF tb own ba at M sps saST
ity requires me to be In the present state, and
by by: Look at me: my responsibility re-
quires NE TO be so far cOnsoed at this period
Of my grlef;' and society accepts the clothes
as formal certificate, and il is understood
that whether there be aciu Il sorrow or no.
not the sorrow, is what the clothes really ind
cate. The mllllnerS scales vary someWha,
but each has her
DEFINITE SCALE OF LAMENrATION
In Trainings, and the widow and the orphan
costume their grief by her dictiOn. Aiterif
any lady. having to show the world tina she has
suffered bereavement and Is correctly al
fected by II, mistrus S the milliner'S or the
mOurnlng-salesmanS authority, there are mali
uals on the etiquette of mourning to instruct
her infinitely, TO a button OF frill, how to eX-
press the exact tribute of regret according to
the degree OF relationship. and, to day, exact
ly how long to go on expressing it.. There is
no fOrmality with so little feigning in it as the
wearing of mourning; for its matter-of- form
nature is not merely confessed but made its
chief clai i'm to polite admiration.
There is little to be said in blame of the un-
truthfulneSS OF mourning. Every courtesy,
whether to the living or The dead, which socie
ty adopts as duty, becomes of necessity, from
matter of prescription, frequently matter
DRY of the kinsman you feel unable to regret,
from want of knowing him, or from knowing
him too well, is no more decetful than your
u 70 OH nnfrx ,r..tnir
which need never have taken place, for any
thing you care.
But THAT THE CUSTOM OF WEARING MOURN
is harmless is by no means incontroyertible.
1t is not one which the fashionable and the
wealthy can assign to themselves and leave the
humble their freedom if they choose to take it.
''pulled-back skirts and impart Chinese ele-
gance to her impeded steps. we need not waste
sympathy on the Washerwoman who follows
suit n0thlng worthy sympathy in her impeiS
her TO the imitation. But, if fashion and re
spectability combine to establish the rule that
not 10 wear some particular kind or color of
dress is to do dish0nor to the emory of our
dead, the poorest draggetaiIS are coerced by
all they have of tender feelings, and al, thpy
nave let OF selI,respeet, to wear the livery of
WOe-at what cost God knows, and often the
devil knows too: And with the victims of that
coercion we ought to SympatiZe. And the very
tribute of decency toward the dead is, where
poverty comes in, source of hideOus though
unmeant. lrreVerence to the dying The new
dress becomes needful past waiting for there
VIII TOO probably be mourning to wear soon, so
and the black for the funeral hangs in a cuU,
board in the invalids room, and goes ont o
sunday church and pieasuring before his eyes
How else. when
MONEY FOR NEW DRESSES
is so hard to come by, and respect for him and
the mel ghbors will require good black! Ii one
may Judge by the advertisements of a we'll
known mourning dealers firm, this thoughtful
provision of mourning beforehand is not I'M
known IN families capable of paving high
prices; for ladies are informed with bland ite-
ration, in pretty we'll every newspaper they
can lay hands on how, in cases of sudden and
unexpected mourning. special and prompt at
be afforded them by this energetic frm-the
inevitable inference from the wording of the
advertisements being that, where the need for
mourning IS not sudden and unexpected, the
beforehand. If this be the case, there must be
an odd conflict of feelings at times in the
MINDS OF expecting and pr0vident mourners--
on the one hand, the wish that the beloved rel
awe should recover; on the other, the sense
that ii he really cannot recover, ii will be very
awkard If he survives long enough for the
mourning dresses to get of fashion before they
can appropriately be taken into wear; and if
modest black serge or some such not too an
guishful stuff for double duty, should get taken
into wear before the bereavement, it must re
quire considerable extra resignation to have
at once to watch it growing shabby and the
sufferer sinking. All women say that
MOURNING IS VERY EXPENSIVE.
Men, IN their ignorance, aware that their
female relations often wear some sort of black
garment and call it economical, suppose that
black, under the name of mourning may east
~ be cheap and serviceable costume, if will
ful or weak extravaganza has nothing to say
to its cost If any man wants to comprehend
ally between liberal use of black in ordinary
attire and the purchase and keeping up of a
mead tO-heel blackOutfit in mourning materials.
let him consult any woman capable of keeping
arraypd self N
thOdOX garb of grief But, suppOSing that
womens mourning were not in itself more ex-
penslve than any ordinary dress of ordinary
women that e. zen 1t were less expensive, and
that all mourning in hOusehOld-the mems,
the chldren's, the servants, tOO-were less ex-
pensiye than the usual colored clothing, what
is it when all at once everybody in the house
hold must have new outfit, regardless of the
condition of the present wardrobe? With
out speaking OF the homes in which actual
poverty prevails, there are but a minority of
homes in which the death of the husband or
father does not make an immediate fall of in
come: in many eases the fall is from ease to
perjury. Perhaps the house has to be given up,
the sons must be put to cheaper schools and
bred to humber professions, the grown-up
daughters must 60 out as gOvernesses and
companions, the younger ones must do without
education, and thrive as they may on stiDted
meals-but out of the scanty funds mourning
outfits must be purchased; everv considera-
ton must give way to that.
Where the grief represented by mourning is
deep and real, mourning is frequently pecll-
narly cruel lnfilctlOn. We have to cIOthe our
selves in symbolism which symbOliZes moth
ing but the undertaken; we may uot put on so
much as glove or a neckIie, but it is to speak
of the funeral gloom. 1t is thus that the dead
get forgotten from the day they depart we
force their deathS-nOt their lives-On our
minds, and the thought is too painful, and We
are glad when we can turn from it. 1t is a
memory to put by with the black clothes: and
1t kills the brighter one that surely is the one
we should all wish to be mOurned by.
TO WOMEN OF UNREASONABLE TEMPERA-
MENT
to those especially with the artistic suceptbil-
| lty to the Influences of color and light-a suS-
ceptibility which belongs to the very many
women who have no artistic genius, belongs,
perhaps, to the majority of wOmen-the lugu-
briOus surroundings of their own clothes is an
aggravatiOn of mental pain which they should
be forbidden for health and sanitys sake; and
| to any woman who needs the power of fixing
her attention on other things than her mis-
fortunes the reminder forever in her sight is a
practical mischief Mems mourning, if not
more reasonable, Is less hurtful, because less
Obtrusive. Most men are habitually unaware
OF the pattern and color of the suit they al e
inside; but wOman's dress is, at its skimpiest.
! too vOluminOus to escape her notice and it
| is not wOman's nature not to see her dress.
AS for the reductiO Gd dbsurdun of msurn-
ing, half-mOurning, the announcement to the
world by an admixture of grays and lavenders
| that you begin to feel resigned, and hope soon