Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-11-08
big Word. and Good Housekeeping.

hiR w Orus ana GOou AOuseAeepnB'
A little woman with q tear trembling on
the end of her nose had been walking up and
down the hall for ten minutes, and as the last
visitor departed she entered the parlor where
Bijah superintends the operations of justice,
sank into the rocking chair, and timidly
asked
Mr.. JOY, can l trust you ?"
Madam, you can - he promptly replied.
Il don't like to hear man praise himself,
but believe can go to any grocery in De-
troit and get trusted for one dozen clothes
pins, without leaving any security whatever.
l now have in my possession thirty-fve
cents which were handed me by street-car
driver to buy him some tinted note-paper
and if l embezzle one cent of it hope to be
bald-headed all my days! Yes, madam you
can trust me-"
IL was married about three years ago."
began the woman, after considerable hesita-
ton.
Don't doubt it in the least madame, and
suppose it was case of love"
1T seemed so. My husband seemed to
think everything of me, and know l almost
worshiped him, We were very, very happy
until year ago"
'Yes, suppose so, madame. AS Milton
says;
"THe called me his brdie-his angel
thought him the dearest on earth;
And we'll dance all night till broad daylight
And-and-and 80 FORTH"
"a few months ago, ;" she softly continued
''Le began finding fault because did not use
more big words in talking, and he said that
my grammar was perfectly awful. Not day
passes that he does not upbraid me, and
sometimes even wish I were dead"
I,at trrftfl
cooking?'
"And in making the bed you don't get the
foot the highest p
"Oh, no."
and he never finds buttons off his shirts
never comes home to meals and finds the
stove cold, and you gosSiping over the gate p
lie never has to wait one minute for any
of his meals, sir"
''Your husband had no fault to find for a
year or two-didn't seem to notice your lack
of big words while the honeymoon lasted 2"
| NO"
''Very well, madam, your husbands coat
is too big to fit him in the back, but think
we can put another on him. Now, then,
will you do as l tell you to ?"
''Oh, sir, couldn't poison him-couldn't
do such thing!" she exclaimed.
''Pizen, madam! Do l resemble fend
| Do l seem like a murderer? don't want
to kill him, but want to help you win back
his love and get his nose down to where it
used to be. What time do you have sup
perY
''At six, sir"
'Well you go home from here and upset
two or three chairs in the sitting-room, toss
the broom out doors, scatter the contents of
the work-basket round the house, and make
| things look as if there had been tramp
meeting held there put in just half enough
tea, burn your biscuit, and for sauce cut up
the hardest peaches that you can find in the
market As he comes home have an old
dress on and your hair down, and the minute
he enters the house you must remark that
the loveliness of the evening seems to per
colate the entire catastrophe of the hygienic
influence Big words you see-grammar till
his hair stands up II he finds fault with
the supper, tell him that the encumbrance
appears to elucidate the tarantula, and if that
doesn't fetch him you can continue to affiliate
with the pabulistic enigma. Give him big
words and bad biscuits-XXX grammar and
sloppy tea, and I'll bet Ave hundred bag pud-
dings agin a penny whistle that he'll get up
from that table with his nose down as low al
mercury in January. Detroit Free Press.