Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1878-08-31

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aewhirter uss . true hero He rsn
peshavs . half Q mile N the boass Of his
iore-legs. his hoofs hsaging BY strips a
skin. There w.s true piack and desss-
mination for you. Why, il someeody hsA
handed thss Eoble, heroic horse pair Of
crutches at the right moment, he would
have won that race iu spite Of the dick
ems.
The press laws of Japan are to 10
modified. Fines are to be substituted
for imprisonment. Hereafter, when .
journalist speaks of the Government
Is tow headed jsckass, they will simply
bankrupt him by fine, knock his estab-
lishment down to the highest bidder,
and turn him loose to enjoy the sweet
boon Of liberty.
A religious sect in Prussia claims to
have in one of their churches the identi-
cal Jaw. bone with which Samson slew the
Philistines. A valuable piece of property
| certainly, not only on account OF its
having been used by Samson, but because
of it's being the jaw. bone of the only
dead iackass that was ever seen or heard
of, in either ancient times or modern.
A villainous, misdirected base ball
"impigned" upon the nose of William
Gavin, of Troy, the other day, "and the
subse quent proceedings interested him
streams of blood sq1irted out like the
spokes of red buggy-wheel going ct
the rate of ten miles an hour. 1t was
pitiful to see the ill-fated nose Of william
Gavin in at the dreadful blow.
1t has been often remarked how far SUI
perior, both intellectually and physically
the college graduate of our day 10 to bic
father. Had the father spent half his
time at college in coloring his meerchaum
and cultivating bis mus:ache, and the
other half in rowing matches on the mill
| H. Aoo vnsvht h~w poku1 ptanA hnUnA
with splendid muscular development, and
spelling Cicero and college with k.
New York Commercial: 1.-THE Troy
Timss suggests that Ben Butler challenge
Mrs. Jenks-wespOns, spoons" If they
must fight, and with weapons unkno wn
to the code, let them fight a. . couple Of
chivalrous North CarolinianS fought some
forty-odd years ago. Distance, ten feet;
| costume, plug hat and pair of clippers
each; weapons, iron ladies and kettles Of
hot mush; fire at the word "Git," and
keep on firing until the kettles are emp
tied or somebody breaks for tall timber.
To see the combatants leap into the air
aud howl when struck by the boiling
mush is said to have been enough to
wiring tears from the eyes Of every spec
tator of the tragic and melancholy scene.
Some of the more thoughtless among
the newspapers of this country seem .
little inclined to speak in rather dispar-
aging terms of that Pittsburgh gentle
man who took Ratchet to his wife for
buying q cream pie for dinner when he
particularly wanted mutton pie. But
such deprecatory utterances are evidently
the premature offspring Of unwedded in
experience. Look at the thing in it,
proper light for moment, will youa To
come home to dinner, weary and worn
with professional toll and purturbed By
the anxieties of business, with your soul
reveling in the delirious anticipation of
mutton pie and your appetite up in sxns
and eager for the fray, and to 6nd that
the partner Of your bosom has 20 far for
gotten or wantonly disrsgarded your
burning desire - to ct before you tho
cold, unmeaniug phantasmagoria Of .
cream pie. Geat heavens! are you to
stand everythingi