Mexico weekly ledger., 1878-11-21
JONES AND THE BARBER.

"Ah! I'm in luck" said Jones, as
he entered the barber-shop and found
the barber reading the paper. swont
have to wait for my next" and he
tossed his hat into a corLer and seat
ed himself for shave.
''How is this?'' said the barber.
reading from paper that marks its
witty column with blue pencil.
''By George. how's this? Pretty
good, I take it, and he read:
''Did you ever see pump handle
anything? Did you ever see witty
cism? Who ever saw dog call herr"
And the good barber laughed hearth
ly at these civilizations of wit, and
said that "Some of them fellers are
most blamed clever"
Then he turned to the yellow-fever
department, and, after reading three
or four dispatches, asked Jones if he
thought the scourge would reach Oil
City.
Jones said there was a possibility
that it would get here by the middle
of the winter, and he would like to be
shaved and fixed up before it arrived.
The barber said it was a terrible
thing, yawned, laid down the paper,
and shufiled up to the chair. He ar
ranged the towels about Jones' neck,
felt of his beard, run his fingers
through his hair, scrutinized a wart
on the side of his nose, turned his
lower lip down over his chin, and
asked him if he had his tooth fixed
in the oil regions or in New Yerk.
Jones answered as best he could,
considering that the barber still kept
his ltp hauled down taut.
After examining the dental work
on the tooth, which he unhesitatingly
pronounced ga good job," the bar
ber let go Jones' lip, and went out to
throw stone at dog that was bark
ing at cat in the back yard.
When he came back Jones said he
would like TO be shaved as quickly as
possible, as he was in somewhat of q
hurry.
Certainly, certainly" said the
barber, as he spread the lather over
Jones' face and began to hunt for o
razor. After examining several, he
began to slap the strap with one,
while he remarked that fall had prob
ably set in in earnest, and that the
baseball fever was about as bad as
ever, etc. Giving the razor one pull
down over the side of Jones' face, he
wiped eff the blade, laid it down
took up another, examined its edge
and Wiped the strap with it as be
fore, asking Jones if he really though
business was picking up any, and i
he thought it would rain.
Jones moved uneasily on the stocks
and said he was sure there would bt
storm, and he wanted to get tshaveC
and have his moustache waxed befor,
the flood came.
The barber grew pale around tn
mouth, and his lip quivered. "Yo'
said that once BEFORE" he remarked
curtly, s'Don't say it again, please
or there'll be trouble. I'm gentle
man when dealing with a gentleman
but know when I'm insulted, sir. ,
"Well, confound it ALL" exclaim
ed Jones, very much out of patience
"I came here to be shaved, and no
to be talked to death"
sob! you want to be shaved, dt
your" exclaimed the barber, in .
rage. s'You don't want to be talked
to death, don't you? A barber cam
open his month, can't he? o no! .
barber is a doggoned machine,
suppose, and must move about hi
work like wooden injun in front o
a cigar store. All right, all right
you shall be shaved and have you
moustache waxed so blamed fast it'll
make your head swimP'
And, bluokling down to his work
he shaved Jones in two minutes AM
a half by the watch, and cut him sew
enteen times by actual count.
Moral--Let barber talk. 1t i
cheaper than to be kept away from
business for two or three days Will,
you stop bleeding.
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