Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1878-10-23

uOcate.
One would think in general stagna-
ton everything would be deer. Quite
the CONTEMPLATION Transcript
See, mammal exclaimed n little
one, IA puss with arching spine and
elevated rudder, strutted around the
table, "see kitty's eat so much she can't
shut her tail down."
The last reported temperance speech
Iebukes those who "drink to success
and "the exercise law" This is fact;
nor was it from colored orator.-The
Congregdtionoha.
"Class slippers" are announced. 1t is
doubtful if the small boy finds so many
panes in them as he has discovered in
the old kind. "There is nothing like
leather after all."-Norristown Herald
Rich parvonu, who knows nothing of
painting, to an artist-"How shall |
hang this picture?" Artist-w wouldn't
hang it if | were you, but commute its
sentence to solitary Imprisonment for
life."
tits a solemn thought that every time
your heart beats some immortal soul is
born into this world of care and sorrow
and toll and death, and every time
"My Grannfathers Clock is sung, some
being passes away to his eternal rest
Burlington Haukeye.
There is a fortune awaiting the man
who invents boomerang bootjack
which you can throw at a cat and have
it sail back to the window if it misses
the mark.-Bahimore Ners.
If Mr.. Edison will only invent pro-
cess for making confectionery out ofsu-
gar, and tive-cent cigars out of tobacco,
he will be entitled to niche l. section
A. Temple of Fame.-New London TeLe-
gram.
"Mariah! Marian! please let me ill.,"
said man to his wife, who was looking
out of the window watching him trying
to open the door with toothpick, "Psh
tread on my key, and it's all flattened
out. "-Enchunge.
These Mone olians is improvin," as
the Gold Hill miner thoughtfuly re-
marked, the other day, when the China
man quietly blew hole through a
white loafer who had just spit in his
face.-San Francisco Neus-L Letter.
She handed him piece of smilax to
admire, and after fond gaze he gave it
back, saving, "Your smile lacks nothing
in the line of beauty" She tried to
look sad and wondered what it all
meant.-DanielsOnvaNe Sentinel.
The spirit Of emulation in funerals is
in strict obedience to public sentiment.
Coming from the burial of a friend a DAN
bury young woman said to her mother:
odd you ever see such a cheap looking
corpse?"-Danbury Ne,os.
The potato bug signs YEARLY as he
commences to dig down through the
six or eight feet of earth under which
he is found all winter by the most en-
terprising liars. Life is not all play
ground even for the potato-bug.-Bridge-
port Standard
The art of printing vii! never be COM
plete till Professor Edison, or some one
else, invents means of conveying to
readers ears the shrill whistle that es-
capes young husbands lips when he
first learns that his wife has twins
Boston Commercial.
One of the great needs of this country
is vest pocket deep enough to take in
the whole length of the extra cigar, so
man can look his fellow square in the
eye and say, "No, I'm sorry, but this is
the last, and l have already had it in
my mouth. &c Cincinnati Breakfast Table.
Whenever man begins to feel that
he is so great that the country is stand
ing out IN the middle of the road wait
ing for him to come by, then it is about
time for his friends to took up some
soft place in lunatic asylum to lay
him down in.-Cfncinnuti breakfast Ia
ole.
Some man with an eagerness for fame
has invented spring-seat saddle that
will rock a man to sleep on the hardest
going animal. What this country needs
is some kind Of saddle that will hold
man down on the roof of horse when
he suddenly. and without warning,
points a. the sky with his tail.-Breok-
fast Table,
This is the season." says the Free
Press, "when the girl, whose stern
father has kicked her lover outdoors,
packs up few things, writes an eight
page letter to her mother, drops a
clothes-line from her chamber window,
and mt midnight, when silence reigns,
raises the sash, sees how dark it is.
and-iumps into bed as fast as she
can"
A man, good. broad-hea rted, strong
| limbeu christian man may stand 1t,