The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-02-07
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

A THRILLING CURRENCY: NOn-cents.
DAMAGING REELECEONs-Brcak q
looking-glass.
THE new King promises Italy un.
Humbert blessings.
BLACK and silver gray are the cOlOrs
for elderly ladies' dress materials.
THE rabbit is timid, but no cook car
make it quail. This is fact in natura
history.
SOMEBODY says: "Weigh your words
before making q remark" That's the
weight O. talk.
A CHlNAMAN is always prepared TO,
q game of billiards. He carries his
queue with him.
THE four daughters of York State
gallon of 'lasses.
THE survival of the fittest is illus.
trated in the case CT Leavenworth
tailor, who is 1O1 years old.
Nothing is so fatal to the romance Of
kiss as to have your girl sneeze at the
very moment of OSCILLATION.
ROWLAND HILL said, when he once
saw boy on rocking horse, "Like
some Christians: motion enough, but
no progress"
In Virginia, when young lady de-
clines an offer to convoy her home, the
lover asks permission to sit ON q fence
and see her go by.
EVERY Turkish Commander in the
field has crescent over the door of his
Tau tl,so
Dol of discomfort?
The paragraphists have discovered
the best method of heating street
car: Garry a woman half block
further than she wants to go. twill he
hot enough
A GERMAN woman in Meriden, Conn.,,
belongs to the corps of laborers who
ditch the streets for gas-pipes, and she
handles the pick and shovel as skillful-
ly as the best of them.
Some ladies seem to have about as
much use for their muffs as policemen
do for their clubs when idling away the
time-twirling them about by the
strings.-N. 7. Graphic.
MAGIC meerschaum pipes are a
new article of manufacture in Germany.
These pipes, being chemically pre-.
pared, will show when smoked small
indelible picture or writing.
He bought material for Il new dress
for his wife, and was surprised to see
the dealer slip the cloth into an envel-
ope, and say he would have the but
tons sent right up in dray.
''1N choosing a wife," says the Phrc-
biological Journal, "be governed by her
chin.'' The worst of that is, that
after having chosen u wife. one is apt
to keep on being governed in the same
way.
LACE handkerchiefs are again the
fashion, and are now carried in the
hand; to secure them the center of the
kerchief is drawn through gold ring
that is worn on the finger outside the
glove.
COSTUMES with short skirts are grad
ually coming into favor. The comfort
Of these skirts is SO great in relieving
the hands from holding up the demi-
train that ladies greatly prefer them
for the street.
1.-THE wicked stand in slippery
places" but for perfect picture of
reckless Insecurity, you want to look at
a frightened woman trying to stand on
a camp-stool to keep out Of the way of
a mouse.-Danbury Ne,0s.
"THRowED up the sponge, did he?'
said Mrs. Spilkins, as she finished read
ing an account of prize-fight.
"Why, he might q knowed he couldn't
keep a sponge on his stomach. What
did he swallow it for, anyhow?'
THE story comes from Oregon that a
mean fellow "shot q country girls
pig, which she was bringing up on but
termilk, SO rs to get money to buy
new gown, because she would not go
with him to the Christmas ball.
A MAN who wanted employment
wrote to his brother in the country:
"Is there any show for me where you
live?" The brother replied: ''Not a
bit of show, John; places of amuse-
ment are strictly prohibited in this
town."
NOBODY knows where you go or how
long you stay, if you are broke, but
everybody wants to know which way
you went and if they think they'll catch
you if you happen to be broker. These
are times of perilous financial uncer-
tainty.-Bmrlington Hasck-Eye.
IT is rare that a man pounds coun-
terfeit half-dollar all to pieces, to stop
its circulation, when he finds such a
coin passed on him. He feels more
like hunting around for the fellow who
gave it to him and pounding him all to
pieces to stop his circulation. CHICAGO
Journal.
KING ALPHONSO gave such offense to
his Spanish subjects by ordering in
Paris the articles to be used for his
marriage that it was found necessary
to make heavy purchases in various
cities of Spain. These were chronicled
in the newspapers, and public indigna-
ton was appeased.
Ibid I not give you flogging the
other dayp' asked a schoolmaster OF
trembling boy. Eyes, sir" answered
the boy. "Well, what do the Scrip.
lures say on the subject?'' 81 dom.
know, sir" said the boy, "except il
is in that passage which says: its
more blessed to give than to receive :"
LEI uO Ou0 uSIOt4VCI 1uSlUu8C0 CQ8v
Teachers Institutes produce no good.
At the late Bucks County Institute q
fair-haired, blue-eyed darling of a
teacher of the female persuasion forever
demolished the base insinuation by the
following conundrum: How do you
make Maltese CROSSE Answer-TreaG
ON her tail.
-Frozer's Magazine acknowledges
that Londoners say Gavin for corn,
pawk for pork, laud for lard, witch for
which and veal for wheel.
-"Who loves . rainy day?" asks a
literary journal. We know; q milkman.
Ask US a hard one.-HaQk- Eye.