The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1878-02-28
DOCTORS.
where.

DOCTORS.
A Good story Told About Alexander III
Stephens and Bob Toorubs.
A doctor named Royston had sued Pc.
ter Bennett for his bill, long overdue
for attending the wife of the latter. Alex
Ii. Stephens was on the Bennett side, and
Robert Toombs, then Senator Of the Uni.
ted States, was for DR.. Royston. The
doctor proved his number Of visits, their
value according to local custom, aud hi,
own authority to do medical practice,
Dir. Stephens told his client that the
physician had made out his case, aud as
there was nothing wherewith to rebut or
offset the claim, the only thing !ei. 70 DC
was to pay it.
NO. said Peter, ~ hired you to speak
to my case, and now speak,.
Mr.. Stephens told him there was moth
ing 10 say; he had looked on to SEQ that
it was made out, and it was. Peter was
obstinate, and ct last. Mr. Stephens told
him to make speech himself, if he
thought one could be made.
~ will" said Peter Bennett, "if Bob
Toombs won't be too hard on me-"
Senator Toombs promised, and Peter
began:
"Gentlemen Of the Jury: You and / is
plain farmers. and if we don't stick to-
gether these ere lawyers and doctors will
git the advantage of US. aint no law
yer nor doctor, end amt sio obj6ciions
to them i'll their proper place; but they
aint farmers, gentlemen Of the jury
Now, this man Royston was O new doc
tor, and went for him for to come and
to doctor my wife's sore leg. And he
come an put come salve truck onto it,
and some rags, but never done it any
good, gentlemen Of the jury. don't be-
lieve he's no doctor, no way. There is
doctors as is doctors sure enough, but this
man don't earn his money and if you
send for him, rs Mrs. Sarah Atkinson
did, for negro boy as was worth 81 900,
he just kills him and wants pay for il. ID
II DON'T" thundered the doctor.
"Did you cure him ?" asked Peter with
the slow accents of judge with black
cap on.
The doctor was silent, and Peter pro-
ceeded:
"As 1 WAS sayin', gentlemen Of the
jury, Ne farmers when we sell our cotton
has got to give vally for the money we
ask, and doctors amt none too good to
be put to the same rule. And / don't
believe this Sam Royston is no doctor,
nohow."
The physician again put in his oar,
with, "Look ut my diploma if you think
l am no doctor"
"His diplomat exclaimed the new
aedged orator with great contempt. "His
diplomat Gentlemen, that is big word
for printed sheepskin, and it didn't make
no doctor Of the sheep as first wore it.,
nor does il of the men as now carries it.
A good newspaper has more in it, and
I'll pint out to ye that he amt no doctor
at ALL"
The man of medicine was now in q
fury, and screamed out, "Ask my pa
tlents il am not doctor p
81 asked my wife," retorted Peter, Gam
she said as how che thought you wasn't"
"Ask my ether patients" said Royston.
This seeried to be the straw that broke
the camels back, for Peter replied with
look and tone Of unutterable sadness:
"That is q hard aayin', gentlemen of
the ;.ry, and one that requires me to die
or to have powers as I've hearn tell
ceased to be exercised since the Apostles
d. .s he expect me to bring the Angel
Gabriel down to toot his horn before
his tins aud cry aloud, awake, ye dead,
and tell this court and jury your opin-
ion Of Royaton's practice p Am I to 20 to
the lonely churchyard and ran oa the 81
lent tomb and say to um as is at last ct
rest from physic and doctor bills, Get up
here, you, and state If you died natural
death, or was hurried up some by doc
tors 2 He says ask his patients, and,
gentlemen of the jury, they're all dead ]
Where is Mrs. Beazley's man Sam? Go
ask the worms in the graveyard wherc he
lies. Mr.. Peake's woman Sarah was at
tended by him, and her funeral was ap
pinted and he had the corpse reaay.
Where is that likely Bill as belonged to
Mr.. Mitchell? Now in glory n express
in his opinion on Royston's doctorin'.
Where is that baby gal of Harry Ste-
phens'? She are where doctors cease
from troublin' and tb infants are at rest.
Gentlemen of tt, jury, he has ct
chicken enough at my house to pay for
his salve, and furnished the rags, and
don't suppose he charges for maxim OF
her worse, and even he don't pretend to
charge for curin' of her, and l am hum
bly, thankful that he never give her
nothin' for her inwards, as he did his
other patients, for somethin' made um
all die mighty sudden
Here tho applause made the speaker
sit down in great confusion, and in spite
of o logical restatement of the case by
Senator Toombo, the doctor lost and Pc
ter BENEFIT won.