davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-06-20

No m can be found in The party
able enough to take the Chair Of the
Ohio Democrats, and JOHN G. THoMP-
SON will hold over. IT'S we'll.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-06-20

In the six principal cities of New
Hampshire the Republicans cast
$500 votes and at. the last election
elected 60 representatives; the same
cities cast 7470 democratic votes and
elected IA representatives. How's
that for gerrymandering?
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-06-20

The firm of Beatty d Me-" will
not do business this fall in the inter
est of-the Cincinnati HAYES Conyen-
ton.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-06-20

What do you think of GRANT as
the Republican candidate for Presi-
dent in 1880? Itlooks that way now.
Hold your nose.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-06-20

The Republican State Convention
might as well have indorsed JoHN
SHERMAN and STANLEY MATTHEWS.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-06-20

Nobody in this county has declin-
ed being a candidate for Congress,
since the last issue Of the Democrat.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-06-20

Keep up the sOCoNNER CHATTER, it
has a powerful effect upon the SIRE
spective of party" voters.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-06-20

Railroads will sell round triptick-
cts to the State Convention at 2cents
per mile.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-06-20

Who'll has the swarm climate" now?
HAYES or ANDERSON?
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-06-20

The visiting Statesmen"-SHER-
MAN and MATTHEWS. A nice pair Of
rights and let's.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-06-20

son STANLEY, on" to the witness
stand.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-06-20

JOHN SHERMAN did write that let
ter. That's a fact.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-06-20

VIM. Cullen Bryant died on the
10Th inst. of injuries received from a
recent fall.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-06-20

The Republican party Of Ohio in
dorses the Presidential fraud.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-06-20

The democrats have gained in the
recent elections in Oregon, the state
legislature, thus securing them an
other United States Senator. They
also gained the Congressman in that
State. The great fraud of 1876 is
beginning't to do its work.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-06-20

Take the DEMOCRAT.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1878-08-07
THE FLo1 IDA AGRICULTURIsT.

you died natural death, or was hur-
ried away by some doctor ?" He says,
ask his patients, and, gentleman of the
jury, they ore4U dead! Where is Mrs.
Beazley's man, Sam? Go ask the
worms in the grave yard where he
lies. Mr.. Peaks woman, Sarah, was
attended by him, and her funeral was
appointed and he had the corpse
ready. Where is that likely Bill as
belonged to Mr.. Mitchell Now in
glory a-expressin' his opinion OF
Royston's doctrin'. Where is that
baby gal Of Harry Stephens ? She
are where doctors cease from troub-
ling and the infants are at rest.
Gentlemen of the jury, he has ct
chicken enough at my house to pay
for his salve, and furnished the rags,
and | don't suppose he charges for
maxim Of her worse, even if he don't
pretend to charge for curin' Of her,
and I am humbly thankful that he
gave her nothing for her in'ards as he
did lis other patients, for somethin'
made UNI all die mighty sudden"
Here the applause made the speak
er sit down in great confusion, and,
in spite of a logical restatement Of the
case by Senator Toombs, the Doctor
lost and Peter Bennett won.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1878-08-07

4
jury. Iidon't believe he is no doc
tor, no way, There is doctors as is
doctors, sure enough, but this man
don't earn his money; and if you send
for him, as Mrs. Sarah Atkinson did,
for negro boy as was worth $1,000,
he just killed him and wanted pay
for IT,"
II DONE" Numbered the doctor.
Did you cure him ?" asked Peter
with the slow accent Of q judge with
black cap on.
The doctor was silent and Peter
proceeded:
As l was sayin', gentlemen Of the
jury, we farmers, when we sell our
cotton, has got to give valley for the
money we ask, and doctors amt none
too good to be put to the same rule.
And | don't believe this Sam Roy
ston is no doctor, no how"
The physician again put in his oar
with look at my diploma, if You
think | am no DOCTOR
His diploma !" exclaimed the new
fedged orator, with great contempt.
His diploma Gentlemen, that is a
big word for printed sheepskin, and it
didn't make no doctor of the sheep as
first wore it, nor does it of the man
that now carries it. A good news
paper has more in it, and l pint out
to You that he amt no doctor at all. :"
The man of medicin was now in a
fury, and screamed out; ASK my
patients if am not a doctor p
| asked my wife" retorted Peter,
"an' she said rs how she thought you
WASN'T
ASK my other patients" said DR..
Royston.
This ~eemed to be the straw that
broke the camel's back, for Peter re-
piled with look and tone of unutter-
able sadness That is hard sayin,
gentlemen of the jury, and one as re-
CURES me to die or to have power as
Pve heard tell ceased to ne exercised
since the Apostles. Does he expect
me o bring the Angle Gabriel down
to loot his no II before his time and
cry aloud, Awake. ye dead, and t. II
this court and jury your opinion OF
Royston's practiceY Am 1 to go to
the lonely churchyard, and rap on the
silent tomb, and say to UNI as is at
last at rest from physic and doctors
bills, Get up mere, you, and state if
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1878-08-07


cies-often does the b st on sile that
won't rise anything else Don't for
get that those things which you ad-
mire in fellow before marriage, you
will probably in husband after and
mustash will get to be very weak
diet after q short time.
3. If husbands could be took on
trial as Irish cooks are. two-thirds ov
them would probably be returned !;
but there don't seem to be emmy law
for this. Therefore, girls, you will see
that after yu get man yu've got tew
keep him, even if you luz on him.
Consequently, if you have emmy kold
vittles in the hous, try him on them
once in while during counting sea-
son, and if he swallers them well. and
SEE he will take sum more, he IL a
man who, when blue Monday comes,
will wash well.
4. Don't marry phellar who is
alwuz telling how his mother doz
things 1t IL too hard to wean a
young one.
5. If man can beat you playing
on a pinnaner, and kant hear a fish
horn playing on the street without
turning snmmerset on account of
the musick that IL in him, I say to
leave him; he might answer to tend
baby, but if you set him to hoeing
out the garden, you will find you
have got to do it yourself. A man
whoze whole heft lies in musick, land
not too hefty at that) amt no better
than a seed-litz powder; but if he
luvs to listen while yu sing some gen
tie ballad, you will find him mellow
and not soft. But don't marry envy
body for one virtew emmy quicker
than you would flop a man for list
one fault.
8. 1t is one of the most tuffest
things for female to be an old maid
successfully. a great menny has
tried it and made bad job of it, and
had hard time. Everybody seems
to look upon old maids jist as they
do upon dried herbs in the garrett
handy for sickness-and therefore,
girls, it amt mistake that you shud
be willing to swop yourself oph with
some true hearted phellow, for hus-
band. The swop is a good one; but
don't swop for any man who IL re-
spektable just because his father IL.
You bad better be an old maid for
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1878-08-07
Dwbrld famous, as

wag, tkwworld famous, as gc7ef
trickstW The two sports met on
the steps of the huge marble capitol
Hickman had been pointed out to
Canada Bill by bootblack.
SIS your name Hickman, pard ?"
inquired Bill, extending his hand.
'rTke same, sir Whose hand
might / have the honor Of pressing ?'
returned Hickman, thinking his new
acquaintance was a newly arrived
Western member of Congress.
''The hand you grasp, pard, is one
generally known to be able to deal
more cleverly than fairly" responded
Bill. II, like yourself, am one Of so
cietie's razor strops. ! am"
Canada Bill, by gum"
"Shake the number tirnes-for
Pm glad to meet you, Hickman"
"How long are you going to stop
in town ?"
stopped off expressly to make
your acquaintance"
Are you known in this city p
"No."
"Then will turn you to good &C
count. How much money have you
got to venture on sure thing?'
"Got $4,000"
"With you ?"
Fright here" and Canada Bill pull
led forth two huge rolls of bills.
"H6w would you like TO turn that
into $4,000 within the next three
days?"
''Name the job, and Tn your
man."
"Sh! Well take a drink" and
Hickman led the monte-tosser into
the card room of fashionable sam
pie room.
The next day a genteel, solemn
looking man walked into the gentle
tleman's parlors at Wizards Hotel,
which were filed with Senators, Con
gressmen and Office seekers and hold
ers of all grades. He carried small
note book in his hand and as he ap-
preached each group he would bow
and say:
Gentlemen, l am collecting mo-
ney for a widow lady and her three
children. They belong to once
proud, but now cast down family.
If you will aid them please ask no
further questions, but give what you
see fit"
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1878-08-07
Josh Billings to the Girls.

Dear girls are you in search OF a
husband?
That is pumper and you are not
requested to say Eyes" out loud,
but are expedited tew throw your
eyes down onto the earth as tho you
was looking tor pin and reply to
the interrogatory with a kind Of
draulin sigh.
Not to press so tender a theme I'M
til it becomes a thorn in the flesh, we
viii presume (tew avoid argument)
that you are on the lookout tor some
thing in the male line. Let me give
you some small chuncks of advice
how to spot your future husband:
/. The man who is jellous of every
little attention you git from some
other fellow, you will find after you
are married tew him he loves him
self more than he does yu, and what
you mistook for solissitude, you will
discover has changed tew indiffer-
ence.
Jellosy isn'ta heAsh16ease, it is a
liver complaint.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1878-08-07

beautiful city tobe thoroughly gen
erous to the poor"
This night he was like the ticket
seller at the railroad. One, two, Eve,
ten, and even twenty dollar bills,
were showed at him from all sides, 80
great had been the awakening in the
cause Of benevolence which the ex-
ample Of Sir Orlando Matterson had
aroused. A benign smile lowered
about his mouth, and tear that gilt
tered in his kind eye proclaimed the
joy his soul felt rs he showed bill az
ter bill into his pockets and gazed
with the look of father upon his
converts.
That night Canada Bill showed up
to Beau Hickman something over
$4,000.
wen split her now," suggested
Bill as he ceased counting.
"Fwouldn't give you $4,000"
quoth Hickman. "Let it be till to-
morrow night. / think l can raise a
little hushmoney on tins racket"
Next night Beau Hickman went
the rounds and found groups of ex-
pectant converts waiting to see Sir
Orlando Matterson. One at time,
as fast as he could do so, he would
take one after another of the most
prominent gentlemen aside and whis-
per in his ear:
II have got little subscription
book here which was handed to me
by friend this morning as he took
the train for New York, Sorry you
got sold on Orlando Matterson. He's
skipped out. That was Canada Bill,
the three card-mcnte man"
'Is that SO ?"
"Sure. Here's the book with your
name in it tor $40"
"Well, tor gracious sake, Beau
don't show that book to any body
And scratch my nan c off it, will
your"
Certainly" returned Hickman,
scratching over the name with his
pencil but, Cove nor, am kind Of
short tonight Couldn't you lend
me $40 till tomorrow ~
With wry face the victim would
pull for his pocket book, and placing
the bill in Hickman hand would
slip quietly from the hotel to the
street.
That night the two worthless diyid-
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1878-08-07

Shakespeare MOdernized.
cAssIus AGAINST CESAR.


TT onor is the subject of my story;
I cannot tell what you and other inen
'rS;,E of this life. not being a mind reader;
But for my single self, l had as 1et noI Os
A. n live to he in awe of such thing as
myself; "a .onara
And after you have ta'en a goou sauaho
I think hin " will you be of the same opinion.
was horn as free as Caesar,
Having been ushered into the worlo
North of Mason and Dixon's line;
So we're YOU we have fed as well,
And can both endure the winters colu,
And get along without chest protecuoA 40
we'll as he.
For. once upon n raw and gusty day,
THE troubled Tiber being IN mgr raltlns
Cesar said to me +" Cassins, will bet you
Two doIlers and half You Will not leap
with me 1r+or;s
Into the angry food and swim TO huuoer
O,;cLer than Won could have said
Z Robinson Crusoe acc0utred as wac,
Inlnnq-ed IN, and bade him follow ne;
And SO. indeed, the snoozer did! .4
The torrent rOared, and we dld ouhe' ~
With lusty sinews throwing u aslue,
And stemining it with hearts OF cohtIo-
For in those times two dollars and hall
were not picked up every day.
Rut ere we could arrive the point proposed
Caesar weakened, and cried: Help me
Cassius; ,y
I've rot cramp in my LETT leg
as iIneas, our great ancestor.
lid from the flames OF Troy,
iIron his shoulders the old An1chlseS zeal
81 from the waves of Tiber. dld the
Plaved-out Caesar; and this man IS now
Become god. and thinks OF running lol
Governor. to5 +roron
And must bend his body
II Caesar carelessly but nod TO MN.
He had the fever and ague when be was
Canyassing for book in SPAN;
And when the chill was on him
did mark how he did shake,
And how, like an endman's bones, o,a
His teeth did chatter; could nave Uoi"
Him that quinine and whlskey
Would knock the chills higher than
THE price of butter, but didn't 90 H.
No: rather enjoyed the sltuaaoh'
Now. in the name of all the gods at once,
What hen roost does this, our caesar Pa
rOnize,
OH City Derrick
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1878-08-07

four thousand years, and then join
the Shakers than tew buy repent
ance at this price. No woman ever
made this trade who didn't get either
a phool, a mean cuss, OF a clown for
husband.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1878-08-07

The female gate keeper on the
National pike has been removed for
dead heading her sweetheart. She
never TOLD her love.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1878-08-07
RECIPES.

Corn Bread.-Two cupfuls yellow
corn meal, one cupful wheat -four,
one-half teaspoonful salt, and two
teaspoonfuls of baking powder, sifted
all together; one-halt teacupful molas-
ses, and two teaspoonful of melted
butter stirred in the molasses; two
eggs well beaten, and milk to make
stiff batter; bake in quick oven.
Nice Cookies for BreG&tast.-One
teacupful of butter, or of drippings of
salt pork, two cupfuls of sugar, one
cupfll of sweet milk, two teaspoon
fuls of cream tartar, one teaspoonfnl
of soda; and flour to make dough.
Roll thin and bake in quick oven,
but do not scorch. In the absence of
sweet milk, teacupful of cold water
will do very well.
West Indian Block Bean Soup
Take one quart of black beans, and
let them simmer in three quarts of
cold water till they crack and begin
to grow soft, then add one-half porAhdS
lean salt pork, onions, pepper and salt,
and let it boil down to the thickness
one likes thin soup. About fifteen
minutes before taking from the fire,
put in two bay leaves pinch of thyme
mot powdered thyme) and four whole
cloves. Then strain through colan-
der; add juice Of one half large lemon,
and slice the other half; if small, the
juice Of one and slice another; also,
slice up a hard boiled egg, and serve
at once.
Peaches trtth Rice.-Take some
peaches and cut them in halves; sim
mer them in syrup for half an hour,
then drain, when cold arrange them
on dish around a Shape of rice made
as folloNAHBoil three tablespoonfuls.
Of rice. and washed clean, in
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1878-08-07
1 Bennett won his Case i'll
How Court.

i Bennett won his Case i'll
no" Court
!. lf6pondent Of the New York
has the following respecting
"01' ssfII. Stephens experiences as
. oI Isswv-A Georgia in the an'e-Oellum
days br named Royson had sued
A d3elnet for his bill long over
Peter attending the wife Of the lat
due, hex. H. Stephens was on the
ter. fskle, Robert Toombs, then
Benn9ofthe United States, was for
SenatSyston. The doctor proved
Dr. 5nber Of visits, their value ac-
his Tfup. local customs, and his own
cordEng to do medical practice.
authori9ens told his client that the
Mr.. ste had made out his case, and
physR was nothing wherewith to
as thtr Offset the claim. the only
reoutft was to pay it. " No" said
thing : hired you To speak on my
, Peter 'aow speak"
case az mhens told MIN there was
oMIGA9l ay; he had looked on to
! noting made out, and it was.
u see . obstinate, and at last
1@ ps told him to make a
D MI 1lself, if he thought one
y speed Ado
u coult said Peter Bennett, il
eEnbs won't be too hard on
me; combs promised, and
: Peter p p QttAe Jury-You and
d Y mers, and if we don't
e rs these ERE lawyers and
e SUCK gsadvantage of us.
le doct22S ~ doctor, and
: ! LIT L ' .s's's i il sss.'
ii Tor him for te
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1878-08-07

ne Share Of each was oVeT
sl2,VuVxBeau Hickman and Canada
pom Sc. tricks on the unwary OBJ
bil' WE hem thousands of dollars
tanned and were buried as pau
died poIN the moral is, that no mat
peTsi 4 much a man may make by
ter ho"ty OF trickery, he will soon
dlshonetr be found out, and doubt
er or at1uiserable, deserted, outcast.
less s. dl e 1iDpef
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1878-08-07
BEAU HICKMAN AND CAN
ADA BILL.

Canada Bill one time was .passl9
through Washington, on his way
New York, after a successful g
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1878-08-07

done put in a Bksin e - c6ld.
Make a custard with a gill of milk
and the yolk Of four eggs when cold
mix with the rice. Beat up to afroth
a gill Of cream, with some sugar and
a pinch Of isinglass dissolved in a it,
tie water; mix this very lightly with
the rice and custard; Eli a mould
with the mixture and set it in ice,
When moderately iced turn it out on
4 dish and serve.
Bean Porri9ge.-When the beans
are skinned from the kettle to be
baking, leave teacupful or more of
the beans in the kettle. Set the ket-
tie on the top of the stove W here the
beans will slowly cook fine. Then
season the broth with sufficient salt,
pepper and butter, to make it relish,
and, with good Graham bread, it
makes a soup fit for king OF dys-
peptic.
Breast Of VeoL-Cover thickly
with crumbs of bread, put small Jumps
OF butter about OH it, and sprinkle
with pepper and salt when baked,
making gravy of butter. This is a
very nice dish. Both the rack and
breast, as commonly dressed, are but
little esteemed, yet in this way make
excellent dishes.
1ES'aceane0t Fritters.-With half
pound of nlincemeat mix two ounces
of fine bread crumbs Tor tablespoon
full of fiour,) two eggs well beaten,
and the strained juice of half small
lemon. Mix these well and drop the
fritters with desert spoon into
plenty Of pure lard; fry them from
seven to eight minutes, drain them in
q napkin and send them very hot to
the table. They should be quite
small.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1878-08-07

Tn the entire hotel the gentlemanly
begrar only received sthree dona-
tons OF twenty five cents each. the
others waved him impatiently aside
while some plainly told him he was
an impostor. Before leaving he sala
quietly to the three gentlemen VINO
had given him money:
"This will be repaid to you ten
fold tomorrow evening at 0his
hour"
He then took the address Of each,
asking them not TO fail to be III the
parlor next evening to get their mo-
ney, and cautioning them to speak 70
no one of his promise, that he was
Sir Orlando Matterson, President OF
the Royal London Society Tor the
announcement of Benevolence.
AS a matter of course before ne
had got a block away from the hotel
everyone knew all he had said ana
done. and all considered him some
crazy fanatic. Then a report got
about that he was an immensely rich
but insane nobleman, who spent year
" hundreds Of thousands IN seeking
those out who were willing 10 lend
&, aid TO the needy and rewarding theeN
> afterward, so that, according TO ms
cracked brain the ca1Ssn on charity
might be in genera Ny acoelsr-
!, ated. "
The next evening h@ again askec
I aims, and every one was on the look
out for him. He first singled oH
the three gentlemen who had gYel
him twenty-five cents each, and yer.
quietly passed each an envelope cor
tanning $3.50, and small card vi
on Which was printed, "Give an
YOU shall receive Cast your brea
on the waters, and it shall be returS
ed to you tenfold." Remember tn
example ofSir Orlando Matterson {
you journey through life"
IT, Sir Orlando Matterson took S73
donations from the house that nigA
and it was noticeable that thos
whom his example had thus quicke'
- ed were very careful that be shou
l. have sAheir correct address. II
same result followed in each OF q
Ascores of hotels and sample-rooms
sAinitiated the night before. I
HiSht he with solemn face,
I'd to each donor of the preg e
the exacttenfold promana
The Russellville Democrat., 1878-09-26

The incorrigible small brother of facinating young lady does more towards breaking up courtship than all the rocks and shoal of a trcacherous ice cream saloon.
 "Each heart knows it's own sorrow best" thought pious farmer as he sat down on an egg which he had forgotten to remove from his coat tail pocket before going to church.
 ,,Yes,' said an Irish Gentleman at Long Brauch, "that lady is very disagreable at the table. If I lived in the same house with her she would be the only one in it I can tell you.
 An English fashion journal, in re, ply to correspondent who asks foI q girls smoking lress,' advises something snuff colored' sleeves er tabatiere, with plenty of piping"
The Russellville Democrat., 1878-09-26
NEGEETINE
HAS ENTIRELY CURED ME OF
 VERTIG0

HAS ENTIRELY CURED ME OF
 VERTIGO.
 CAIRO, ILL, Jan. g, 1878. Mir. H. R. Stevens
 Dear Sir,--I have used several bottles of "vegetine"; it has entirely cured me of Vertigo l have also used it for Kidney Complaint. It is the best med icine for kidney complaint. l would recommend it as d good blood purifier.
 N. YOCUM. PAIN AND DISEASE. Can we expect to enjoy good health when bad or cor rupt humors circulate with the blood, causing pain and disease; and these humors, being deposited through the entire body, produce pimyles, erup- tions, ulcers, indigestion, costiveness, headaches, neuralgia, rheumatism, and numerous other complaints? Remove the cause ny taking Vegetine, the most reliable remedy for cleansing and puri- fying the blood.
The Russellville Democrat., 1878-09-26

Some poetry that Mayor Ely, of of New York, wrote twenty-five years ago, has beeu raked up against him. Will the brutalities of politi- cal warfare never cease9
 Suppose l should work myself up to the interrogation pointr said a beau to hts sweetheart. ''I should respond with an exclamation" was the prompt reply.
 "Come down out of that collar If yer want to fight" was the style of pugilistic challenge a young pugna- cious youth gave to another with q much standing "dicky'.
 William Henry Ogden of Tennes- see and Miss Sallie Self of Geo. are marriaed. This is q clear case, as the old darkey said, ''whar a man marries his own dear self. "
 There may be a destiney in every mans life, but the most interesting moment comes in when you sit down on tonsortaI chair, and trust to the mercy Of a cross eyed barber.