The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1878-07-10
Washington Correspondence New York Times,l
Another Fraud Exposed.
The Hot Weather Accounted far-How
Old and Xonng Probs Fixed if Up.


was coming down the steps of the Capitol
this morning, after interviewing the President,
when met an old friend Said he:
"How do you like the weather.
said, of course, that didn't like il at all.
Said he, "Are you still in tue newspaper
line?"
I said that still supported life in that way.
Said he, "pm rather in the writing line my
self; Pm in the Weather Office"
"Do you cores pond with the weather."
said L.
''Not exactly that" said he, "but much the
same thing L write out the weather reports"
"I'd like to see the Weather Office" said L.
'Tben come along" said he.
We went along and were soon in the Wealth
er cfice. First we reached large front room,
with sofa, several stuffed chairs, and side
board. This was the apparent Weather Office.
Then we went inside into large back room,
with three desks, five or six chairs, lounge
and half dozen spittoons This was the real
Weather Office.
"Three of US run this department of the Gov
ernment," said my friend. sold Probs and AS
sistant Old Probs. and myself Old Probs and
his assistant settle on the weather, and write
out the reports and send them around"
said / supposed the weather reports kept
coming in all day from all over the country.
eyes. they do" said he, lover your other
shoulder"
was surprised to see no telegraph instru.
ments in the room.
"Why, how do the reports come imp asked
.'They come in in your mind; that's the only
way they come in" said my friend.
"What do you mean?" said /.
wh aid ba nj,
any reports at all.
Then where do the weather predictions come
from?" L asked.
"Old Probs makes 'em. That's what he's
hired for"
My friend was sharpening his pencils ready
for work. Said he:
''Sit down and make yourself easy. But
don't give it away, what I've told you"
He pointed to a seat in front of one of the
desks; and 1 soon saw by the letters on the
desk that it was the one used by Old Probs
My friend excused himself, and went down
stairs for minute-he said to see man, but
L think it was to get drink,
AsI glanced over Old Prob's desk saw
just in front OF me long, narrow strip of pa
per. On the top of it, over a number OF notes
was written, in bold hand: weather Men,
Nov, the weather is Government business
Being voter, am, ex-officio a member of
the Government; and therefore, picked up
the weather men,, and read IL. 1t was as fol-
lows:
WEATHER MEM. AND ENGAGEMENTS.
Wednesday. June 26, to Wednesday, July 3,
1878.
Thursday, June 27.-Drive with the widow
Bland p. m. Must rain early in day to set
tie DUST Then cool and fair in evening.
Friday, June 28.-Scraggs to be hera from Mis-
souri,. Give him the hottest kind of day,
and strong east wind in the evening, with
threatening rain to make his rheum atsm
Saturday, June 29.- Bertha's lawn party.
Must be very warm and dry all day SO the
children can dance on the grass. Pleasantly
cool in the evening"
Sunday, June 3O.-Set hen. Must be warm
and dry.
Monday, July Tier williger's ball. Must
sprinkle in the afternoon to lay the dust.
Very hot in morning. Cool in evening.
Tuesday, July Long Branch races. Heavy
rain.
Wednesday, July Start for White Sol.
phur Spriogs. Cool, dry and pleasant.
had barely time to lay the paper on the table
and PICK up newspaper when my friend re-
entered the room. He brought two cigars and
we went to smoking.
"Then this office is fraud, it it?" 1 asked
him"
principally he said.
"And does Old Probs fix the weather to suit
himself"
"Yes, when Young Probs doesn't make
fuss about it and have it fixed his own way.
Sh! here they come. They'r re going to fix to-
morrow's weather."
Old Probs and his assistant entered the room,
and after speaking to my friend and looking
sharply at me, seated themselves at their
desks.
81 have arranged said old Probs ITO have
It rainy Tomorrow on account of the Long
Branch races"
"That be hanged" growled his assistant.
'sYou promised me should have tomorrow
the way wanted II, to go to a picnic'
"But the races?'
'Hang the races. What do care whether
the races are spoiled or not? 1 think when you
to let me have 1t. You've had your own way
every day as long back as L can remember
Give us a little show, can't you? didn't COM
plain on Sunday when you wanted to set hen.
and made 1t warm and dry when 1 couldn't
go. out of the city. I,think you might give
fellow little chance"
"Well, WELL" replied Old Probs, in a concili-
atory manner, Shave it as you like. but don't
get angry about it. How do you want i:?''
'Clear and pleasant" said the assistant
"And the wlnd?'
"Oh, shoot the wind; you know that's all
hnmbug Pat her northeast by southwest,
rising and falling barometer, warmer and COOL
er weather in the Lower Lake regiop."
"We may as well fix Wednesday," said Old
Probs, as he finished fixing to-morrow's wealth
er and handed it to my friend to be copied;
land then, after that you can have it as you
sas' sKe ios week, Tor Ia am going down to & the
nesday, so as to have pleasant journey"
'Au right" assented the assistant "suffi-
cient unto tomorrow is the weather thereof;
the day after may take care of itself"
81 hardly think will be in the Office to-mor-
row." said Old Probs. buttoning up his coat,
$50 you can can fix Wednesdays wind to suit
yourself. But don't make a fool of yourself
now, Charley, while I'm away and give them
snow or frost in July. You'll be careful, won't
you?"
'1'll be CAREFUL" said the assistant, and Old
Probs disappeared. Careful he continued
ITO give them some of the hottest weather next
week they ever toasted iD. 1 don't own half of
country boarding house for nothing hope.
Oh. no. I'll give 'em baking. And on one
of the hottest days I'll give 'em gale of wind
thatl make the old ducks open their eyes,
won't it? Make fool of myself? guess
not.''
The assistant went out. 1 was in a daze.
but the cool air at the foot of the stairway re-
vived me.