Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1878-05-31
The Evanic Order In the Older
Time.

Among those who sought home in
Wisconsin, in the days "wlen we all
went gipseying," was a long lank spec
linen OF humanity from the old state
of W OGDEN nutmeg notoriety, who
must hav been fed on shoe pegs, and
molasses, when boy, so green and
transparent was he In his appearance.
lie claimed to be i lawyer by profess
sion, but was in fact short Of briefs,
as well rs the ability to obtain them
loafer, who, after having visited
nearly every town IN the state in
search Of one large enough to contain
him, giving to each In turn week or
more OF his valuable time, and beat
ing the hotels out of his bill, brought
up finally in that we'll known locality,
Mineral Point, where pleased with
the natural beauty OF the country as
well IN the innocence of the people, he
decided to locate, rented I'm Office and
hung out his shingle, announcing to
the natives Of that pioneer berg, that
Mr. Jones had "arrove' and was ready
for business.
OF all places on this green earth for
fun or mischief and clearing the cob
webs of self conceit and pride, from
the cocoanuts Of all who were troubled
that way, that rough old mining ham
lot In those carly times could not DO
beat Only let those wild harum-
"scarum" miners once get the pins set
up on any one who thought himself
smart. and 90, for Godsake let me get
out Of this blasted town." would be
the burden Of his song in less than
twenty four hours. Consequently, no
sooner had the boys became aware
that Mr.. Jones had arroyc. rs the Shin
gle announced, and ready to bring the
weight OF his massive intellect to bear
in settling their little differences,
when Il suit for assault and battery
was AZ once improvised, in which
Jones was etained for the defense,
and that old veteran, Moses M. Strong
for the plaintiff resulting of course,
~ did tho famous suit of Hyde vs.
Morgan 50 graphically described by
Mark Twain in his "Roughing ii" in
victory for plaintiff, although clear
~ against both law and evidence.
Tho wrath Of Jones at the rendition
Of this verdict was terrible. He cursed
and sworo fearfully, called tho jury u
set of ignorant fools, and the justice
higoted ass, and expressed his dcter
minalon TO leave tho place then and
there, when he was incidentally made
aware that being III outside Barbarian
was the sole cause of his defeat. and
That only by connecting himself with
the ancient Oriental Eyanic order of
the 1901 could he over expect
20 rise to prominence i'll his
profession, or secure the practice and
handle the stamps Of bellgcrent Min
cral Pointers, much less to obtain JUS
tlcc IN the courts, even If the law and
evidence was all on his side. The bait
took, and tho craft, amoAgwhom were
Nj. NJ. Strong, Jas. II. Earnest, Judge
M. NJ. Cothren, Doet. Vivian, Berg
and l.anra, and numerous other
Mineral Pointers of note. all stars of
the first magnitude in the order and
mon Of rcnown, We're duly assembled
"a the Court House for the purpose Of
fixing Jones for u Lawyer which
They did, you bet IIe looked, when
MI was over, rs though he had boon
through 4 smut machine. or due out
ftom unacr some horse barn by thc
dogs.
They tospcd him MP To the yaaltcd dome
And they lowered him dto the cellar.
They painted his flee with t0loN ami aoot
I'M ne looked tike "frmmnn OF color. F."
Atter which he WIS duly instructed
IN the work, by the Grand Segnior
gwen .hc pass. Paid his dollar, Signed
Cue constitution. and was declared 4
member II good standing III the order.
aAd thoroughly qualified q practice
'aW NJ ~ lts various branches. But
here IN ~ Maukesha again occurred
~ cNInhiton " base ingratitudc for
yaInal,r sstyieesrenaered. ior tus, oaa
= remaining 70 become ii time the
Law slr2more of Iowa county, ana All
ornnHt 20 The Bar, sof thu Hotel,
the W. 'iefnl .lonas, uPoa Whom 81
mneis 'lh'r lad aeea expended then