Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1878-12-16

shooting.
ARTHUR SULLIVAN, the English play
writer, will soon visit this country.
Bon INGERsoN doesen't believe in
breaking the wills--of children. Call him
lawyer?
Ex-Governor STEARNs, of Florida, is
going to marry young lady OF Bridge
water. Mass.
CINCINNATIANs feel comforted when
they consider the cost ofthe lloosac Tun-
mel and the Brooklyn bridge.
eve never have been more solid"
say the Southern Bourbons. In year
or two they will leave out the 81" in
solid"
DENvER's weather prophet claims
three hundred and sixty-tive days OF
sunshine year for that famed city.
His record shows no cloudy days
throughout.
A COMMISSION, partly English and
partly American, charged with the cree
ton ola statute to the memory Of llar-
riet Martineau, have intrusted the work
to Miss Whitney, OF Boston.
JOSEPH Cook will not lecture upon
Journalism from the Inside" When
he sat down to write the lecture it sud-
denly occurred to him that he hadn't
been inside, 80 he abandoned the task
ilbany Journal.
The London diamond merchants have
built a palatial club house for them
selves in Holborn Bars. Unlike most
club houses, it is used not forrecreation
alone, but partly for business purposes.
1t is, in fact, u combined club and dia-
mond exchange.
GLOW on earth do you manage to get
along so well? / thought that only
three or four years ago You were head
over heels in debt" ooh, those were
old debts; never pay my old debts"
But your new ones?" Il let them get
old. "-Frer.ch Paper.
MISTRESS (to zervant who called about
situation): There are no children,
only two in the family" Servant:
"Will YOU show me over the house,
mum, rs never take a situation, mum,
till I've seen what sort of 'ouse
the 'ousc is, mum. "-Fm.
A WOMAN got aboard Boston bound
train at llaverhill, Saturday, and was
heard 10 remark to companion: 1T |
get time, shall go to the Museum and
see III. NJ. ;. Planafore. They say he
laws way ahead of any actor that has
been here for years - Boston Post.
How much shall you charge for a
bologna sausage that will reach from
one of my ears to the other" asked a
soldier i'm Berlin of dealer, Fifty
kreutzers," was the reply. Il take the
offer" replied the soldier; zone OF my
ears was cut off in Il battle thousand
miles from here" There was q compro-
mise. .....
The Jersey City Journal says that
among fashionable New York ladies it
is now considered elegant to affect bro
ken English. Something in this style,
we presume: "Ah! Bregette, breeng-a
to me the what you call pOkaire; ~
stotr have got shoaked up. Depeches-
vous, quickly; you are Won what you
call snaile. Ach, so"-N J. CONNER
c,dl Advertiser.
THERE is something in Lord Beacons-
field, saws the ironical Spectator, COM
menting on the Guild-hall banquet
something which really satisfies the city 4
ideal of grandeur-that ideal of states
manship which blends the glitter of a
scimitar with a CLEAN of mosaic gold
that ideal of a statesman which has some
elements in it of Lord Chatham, and
others of a sort OF political edition OF
flash Toby Crackit."
The age of economy has been reached
in Foxboro, Mass, where a woman stop
ned clock from running because II
would wear out too fast. Exchange.
And Cincinnati has man who will not
allow his flute to he played for fear II
will wear out the holcs.-Chicdgo ,jO'r'
nal And Chicago has Il Congressman
who resigned his seat because he likes
place where the wind is preceptlblc.
New YORK doors do not open to me ai
all or Mt best. very rarlly. But in Lon
don the doors OF the very best houses
are ajar, and my presence on the othe'
side finds a warm and hospitable vel
come. But what do care for New YORK.
society? When one has climbed the
HIGHER mountain, he does not care u
nnunt the smaller one. Our society Is
woful,y ignorant Listen, and you may
tel, this story. When came back from
England after my first visit, | Was IN
yiteL to dine ut house on Fifth avenue
The dinner was given 10 me. occu
MED the post oi honor-upon the right
land of the hostess. The other guests
were invited To meet me. Between tht
| courses the lady al the house turned &c
ue and said: hMr. Miller, why do you
| not gather your poems into book ane
| pubiish them Some of your poems are
onite.too lovely. "volumes Of my poems
had alreadyrun through several editions
/, : G,nouia NiiieT.