The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-09-26
WIT AND HUMOR.

CELESTIAL display-The Chinese en-
bassy in full dress.
A FAIRY scene-The passengers pay
ing for their tickets.
Day of reckoning-Last day of the
month at the banks.
WATCHES are like trouble-they never
come single-handed
WHY is the letter II never too late?
Because it is always in time.
WHAT insect does a blacksmith manu-
facture? He makes the FREELY.
The Graphic thinks Beaconsfeld has
left too little Turkey for the Greece.
"MY dearest little duck" he MUIR
INJURED. ooh, don't stuff me like that"
she archly replied.
IT takes weather like we had in July
to convince man that every human
being has 100000 pores.
A CHICAGO man who died of starva-
ton was the owner of $40 bootjack;
but man cannot live on bootjacks alone.
IF man replies to you with grunt,
put him down as a lower order of ami
NAL accidentally mounted on his hind
legs.
The Individual who called tight boots
comfortable defended his position by
saying they made man forget all his
other miseries.
Il HAVE got all my servants. There
is nothing for you to do" All! mad
anne, it will take very little work to oc-
cupy me-" he replied.
SAID railroad engineer to an Irish
man whose COW had been killed, But
she didn't get out of the way when 7
rang the bell" Faith, thin" said Pat,
eye didn't shtop whin she rang her bell,
naythur."
"THE Sweet Face in the Window" is
a new song just out, but, if it is in
second-story window we would much
prefer to have it out at the front gate
and wait there with it till the moon gets
behind a cloud.-BreahJast Table.
ARooM will hold nearly twice as many
people when the light is dim as when it
is bright; at least we have noticed that
when the gas is low in the parlor a
young man and young woman can
both sit in the same space which either
one of them took up when the full head
was on.
A MAN may be ever SO strong and
brave and self-reiant, but when the
rear button comes off his shirt band and
his collar persists in climbing up and
sitting on top of his coat, he feels that
his happiness, his every hope of COM
fort in this life, is in the hands of some
woman.
WHEN a woman combs her back hair
into two ropes, holds one in her mouth
until she winds the other upon her tuck
comb, and then finds that she has lost
her last hair-pin, she feels that the
sex needs two mouths-one to hold her
hair in, and the other to make remarks
with.
AMERICA is a land of grand POSSIBLE
tiles There is, perhaps, no other coun-
try on the globe where it is possible for
young man to commence SO low down
in the scale of life and rise so high.
Brigham Young commenced life as a
teamster, and left over a dozen wives
when he died BREAKFAST Table.
The other day visitor surprised
Richard Grant White saying to his baby,
"Oh-ny, no-ny, e mussy tick-hick his
little footsy-tootsies out fun indy re
banky-wanky, OF catch coly-woly an
have re snuffies." Just then he caught
sight of the visitor, and said to the in
FAINT, "No, no, you must not expose your
pedal extremities by extending them
beyond the protection of the blanket, or
you will lay your system open to at
tacks of catarrhal affections And the
astonished child shrieked as though
some one had winged it with defective
safety -pin-Bardette.