The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1878-10-10
4 Bridal Feast.

A fat woman, having a troabled
eOuntenAnce, took the easy chsir and
led Oft with
"Mr. Joy, people are getting mar.
ried every day"
sis that possible, madam ?"
ayes, sir. Ny daughter Emeline is
to be married next week."
"Well, that beats all ! Do you
know, madam, 1 never even dreamed
OF such a thing ? She loves the feller,
Of course, and Of course you will give
them your blessing"
"Yes, though / think she could
have done better. However, they
fell together, and 'twssn't no use to
talk to her. The more l talked tbs
more sot she was, and finally l gave
| in"
"And did you want me to happen
in like and happen to see Emeline
like and happen to find ten thousand
reasons why she should break off the
engagement and wait for some Prince
or Duke to come along ?"
"No, sir, the marriage is settled on,
and what worries me now is the sup
per they want to get up. It's got to
come out Of my pocket, but Emelino
wants to rush in in an eXtravRgant
manner. Were you ever at q bridal
feast ?''
"EverI Why, I've been to five
hundred OF fem 90
swell, then, I'd like your opinion
as to what L shall provide. I've got
my ideas about it, and if you agree
I'll go ahead, Emeline or no Eme-
line. It's going to cost me enough
anyhow.
"Well," slowly responded Bijah, af-
ter moments thought, "I'd put on
clean table cloth, OF course, and I'd
scOur up the knives and forks, and
borrow all the spoons and dishes /
could"
"Yes-thst's the way I shall do"
"Then, I'd have big bouquet at the
head Of the table, two more in the
centre and one at the foot. They not
only look beautiful, but they are q
great deal cheaper than sweet cake"
"That's the plan exactly"
'Some folks are just mean enough
to turn bridal party away hungry"
resumed the old man, "but that isn't
my style. Sweet cake and pepper
mint CANDY - - ~ Ill
enough for eonsumptives, bet after q
person has hung around for three or
four hours TO see a marriage go off
he's apt to feel a goneneSs. Now, il
It was me, the foundation of the bridal
feast should be meat and 'taters."
"Yes, meat and 'tRters. I'd have
good, solid pork, fried rather hard,
fianked by breakfast bacon and ham,
Then I'd have baked 'taters, mashed
'taters, fried 'taters and 'tateFs
warmed over.n
"I told her SOL told her so 90 ex-
claimed the excited mother.
"Then I'd have a plate of summer
squash at the head OF the table, and a
plate Of winter squash at the foot.
The edges OF the plates can be Orna-
mented with slices Of onions placed
half an inch apart"
81 hadn't thought Of that, but I'll
have 'cm or bust the wedding"
"Well, then, the side dishes may
consist oi-of-let's see. Buckwneat
pancakes are awful nice, madam, for
one thing. A picked pigs foot placed
on 8 plate by itself and half hidden
under stalks OF celery looks romantic
and tastes first-rste. Then cut your
pumpkin pie up in small pieces and
serve ii with sweet cake. Then"
"But isn't that about enough ?" ner-
vously inquired the woman,
"All but some more onions, mad
am. There's where they make a great
mistake ut bridal fessts. The guest
who comes with his mouth watering
for more onions goes away q disap-
pointed and crushed man. I'd have
'em raw, stewed, baked and hashed
up. Those who don't like 'em won't
touch 'em, those who banker for
them will bless you"
''I think pll do it-in fact, know
WILL replied the women. ''It's me
who is running this bridal feast, and
il Emeline doesn't like it, she can be
married out on the commons. Well,
Mr.. Joy, Pm a thousand times obliged,
and you are hereby invited to attend
the feast"
"I'll come. Don't forget the onions
don't go back on 'tsters and the SOL
ids. And now may all the blessings
on earth attend you and yours, and if
you get stuck for onions, l can send
you over a peck sny milute. Good
bye-have 'em cooked in all styles
SO lOng-um w-DetrOH Free Press.