Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-03-20

edge" how happy she and Walter were
together; how he would go to parties,
and moon about the passages while she
had good dance. and how she would
60 to lectures, and listen to wise people
talk till she thought the top of her head
would come off; how he would come
to the bay and wait for her while she
had good skate, and then she would
go home with him and risk burning the
house down helping him in some chem
zeal experiment.; how he'd had the tip
of his nose and ears frozen in her be-
half, and she had her eyelashes and
eyebrows singed in MS. And so it went.
Their tastes were different, but they
were the happiest Of the happy.
g 1t takes two adverse halves, Dolph, D
said Nellie. to make perfect whole. y
And every word this little woman said
delighted me more and more, for [ be-
gan to believe that Lulu and | might
improve by the example. Why couldn't
she come down as Jones did, and not
shiver on the brink, of course, but have
a gliding chair, and, all wrapped up in
furs, endure the freezing atmosphere of
the bay to please me, as | did the boil
ing heat of her sitting-room to please
her?
l made up my mind that as soon as
I'd conquered the intricacies of "the
outer edge" I'd coax Lulu down to the
bay to see the skating. In the mean
while | said nothing about it, as | had
not yet conquered the first trick Of the
intricacy. 1t seemed to consist in bal
ancing two-thirds of the body on one
leg, throwing your whole weight upon
| it, screWlng your entire anatomy into
curve outward. then keeping this half
moon equilibrium and skating swiftly
and gracefully on with it. | always got
just SO far, then topped over, and began
again, suffering in the intermin the
agonies of the accused, barking my
shins, scraping my legs to the bone,
racking my muscles till / began to limp
like cripple, and to cultivate hidden
and hitherto unknown aptitude for
rofanity.
Jones sympathized with me, and said
he never saw such persistency in his
life; what some people gained by a
natural knack and grace, other people
who lacked this facility made up in
sheer grit and determination to succeed
He himself had been conquered by
'the outer edge" in one trial. He near
ly broke his collar-bone, sprained his
knee-pan, cracked his scul', and was
cowardly enough to give it up. But
you'll conquer it, if you keep on" he
added; "you begin to hold your own al
ready"
"Think so ?" I said, with an imbecile
egotism, and my silly vanity went soar
ing off to astounding feats upon the ice
:" the figure eight - " the Dutch roll"
"the outer edge pooh. I'd hunt up
some electrifying figure that would
transport the beholders into
ecstasy. Ny Lulu should behold me
the champion of the day. Perhaps it
was the very fervor of my ambition that
tripped me up and lent even an unusual
vim to my next downfall, for l went
home shortly after this burst of enthu-
siasm with my best pantaloons split
across the knees, and a severe confusion
over the left eye
went around by the back way, as I
didn't want to alarm Lulu, or encounter
the severe presence of my mOther-in-
law. 1t was late, and the moon had
climbed pretty high, but [ hoped that
Mrs. Fith1an might be comfortably in
bed. I met her, however, at the head
of the stairs. It's a Illuminating thing
for a man to creep along through a
corridor on tiptoe, take off his boots at
the stairway, lift one foot above another
with his heart IN his mouth. and sud-
denly find that his mother-in-law has
been watching his every movement
She caught sight of me in the full light
from the side window, and fell back q
little, apparently stunned. The blood
was, in fact, trickling down my nose,
and the lower legs of my pants hung by
a thread. My mOther-in-law. with a
! face that looked rigid in the moonlight,
rallied sufficiently to point severely to
the spare room, whittier she followed
me, and began to wash the blood from
my eye. [ was that overcome and de-
moralized that [ was as helpless as a
ba by in her hands, and felt that from
that moment [ was a part Of her do
miniOn-that she owned me, as she did
| cOckatOO, and all.
"Ihls IS my last night away from
home, ma 'am," [ stammered out. 4
give the accused thing up at once and
forever from tonight"
Pray heaven it may not be too late p
she said, in hollow, reproachful whis-
per. My neighbor next door has been
in to-day, Adolphus. She said she
thought it her duty to tell me there was
q woman at the bottom of it ALA Mrs
Jones. I think that was the name"
Mrs. Walter Jones'" [ said.
"Gracious heavens ~ cried my mo-
ther-in-law, dropping the sponge, and
clasping her hands in horror; "do you
mean to say it is true? Do you mean
to tell me that you have been in the
company Of this woman night after
night, while my poor child has been left
neglected and alone?'
[ hung my head, and faltered out that
it was all the fault of that accused
'outer edge"
Don't call it by any slang term, Sir"
said Mrs. Fithian. cts hydra-headed