davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1878-09-18
A Big Mistake.

Recently our church had new min
lister.
He is nice good sOciable gentleman !;
but being from a distant State, of course
he was totally unacquainted with our
people.
Therefore it happened that during
his pastoral calls he made several ludic-
rOus blunders.
One of them is as follows:
The other evening he called upon
Mrs. Hadden. She had just lost her
husband, and naturally supposed that
his visit was relative to the sad occur
renee.
So, after a few common-places had
been exchanged, she was not at all sur
prIsed to hear him remark:
''lI was sad bereavement. was il
not, Mrs. Hadden?"
eyes" faItered the widow.
"Totally uney Dected?"
"Oh, yes;Il yer dreamed of it,"
"He died in. he stable, l suppose?"
"Oh, no; in the house,"
"Oh-well, l suppose you must have
thought good deal of him."
"Of course, sir"-this with a vim.
The minister looked rather surprised,
crossed his legs and renewed the con-
versation.
"Blind staggers was the disease,
believer" he said.
"No, sir" snapped the widow, apo
plexy"
''Indeed; you must have fed him too
much"
"He was always capable of feeding
himself, SIR"
Every intelligent he must have been.
Died hard, didn't he."
"He did,"
"You had to hit him on the head with
an axe to put him out of misery, was
told.''
Mrs, Hadden's eyes snapped fire.
"Whoever told you so did not speak
the TRUTH" she haughtily answered.
James died naturally"
"Yes" repeated the minister, in
oiiSHliy pei picACu toiiO, hO hiehON eiS
side of the barn down in his last agonies,
did he not?"
"No, sir, he didn't"
"Well, l have been misinformed, l
suppose. How old was he?"
"Thirty- five."
''Then he did not do much active
work. Perhaps you are better without
him, for you can easily supply his
place with another"
"Never, sir-never will l see one as
good as he."
"Oh, yes, you will. He had the
heaves bad, you know"
"Nothing of the kind"
"Why, recollect | saw him, one day,
with you on his back, and distinctly
recollect that he had the heaves, and
walked as if he had the string halt"
Mrs. Hadden stared at her reverend
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1878-09-18

There is an old goat owned in De-
troit which has received great deal of
training from the boys. Last Fourth
of July they discovered that if they
stuck a fire-cracker in the end of cane
and held it at William, he would lower
his head and go for them, and they have
practiced the trick so much that the
goat will tackle any human being who
points stick at him. \ few days ago
he was lOfing nea-' the corner of Third
and Lewis streets. when a corpulent
citizen came up and stopped to talk
with friend. They happened to
speak of sidewalks, when the corpulent
citizen pointed his cane just to the left
of the goat and said
''Ihat's the worst piece of sidewalk
in this town."
The goat had been eyeing the cane,
and the moment it came up he lowered
his head, made six or eight jumps, and
his head struck the corpulent citizen
Just on ''the belt.'' The man went
over into mass of old tin, dilapidated
butter kegs and abandoned hoop skirts,
and the goat turned somersault the
other way, while the slim citizen threw
stones at a boy seated on doorstep,
who was laughing tears as big as chest
nuts, and crying out:
sob, it's huff to kill feller,''
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1878-09-18
l. ost the Thread Of his Discourse.

Mr.. Stukely of the South End got on
an open car the other warm evening,
with friend. Stukely was pretty full
and he gave his companion and the
other passenger good deal of informa
ton regarding his past history. Said
he: My old great-uncle used to say
to me-he was over 20 years old, my
great uncle was" T" Yes?" said his
friend. "Oh, did you know him ?"
asked Stukely. ''No, but heard what
you said about him" ''Y Yes well, he
said to me, said he, Jim if you live to
grow up said he-he was over eighty
years old, my great uncle was" $50
you said was the reply. Oh, did
Won know what he SAID - So No, but /
know what you just said," replied the
sufferer, in coneilatory tone. "Yes; /;
well, he said to me, said he, Jim, if
you ever live to grow up to be man,
you just mind what Itell you,' said he.
He was over 80 years old, my great un-
Gle was" Well, well, said the friend
little impatiently, "What did he tell
your" Stukely sunk his voice to a
whisper and impressively remarked:
"Hang me if hain't fOrgOt!"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1878-09-18
Parker's Plant.

Bill Parker, the expressman, has a
sOul that loves the beautiful. He went
into the woods across the river few
days ago TO fill his soul with sweet COM
mune with nature. Here he espied a
plant with large glossy leaves and a
wealth of foliage that attracted his ar
tistic eye. So he dug it up, and put
ting it into his wagon, brought il home
and put it in tub in the door-yard of
the Parker mansion. 1t grew wonder
fully, and was the admiration of the
neighborhood. Everybody wanted to
know what it was. Some pronounced
it species of Japan lily, and others
thought it was a section of the great
American aloe. SO Bill went down to
Shoaff and asked him to inspect it.
ShOaf knows all the plants like book,
and he pronounced it the SymptOcartus
Fatidus, which so delighted Bill that
he had it written on a card and tackled
to the side of the tub. When anyone
called and remarked, "That's beauti.
full plant of yours, Mr.. Parker, what
do you call it?" Bill would answer
with glow of satisfied pride, "Yes,
ma'am, that's symp-yes, sim-car-
cass-or some such name, burned if |
can get the right hang of the name
somehow-but you Can read it for your
self right here on this end of the tub"
Continued struggling with the word
made it more formidable to Bill, and so
he went once more to ShOaff with, ''Say,
Shoaf, can't you knock off few letters
out of the name of that plant. It's
Dutch, reckon, and them that's posted
may walk away with il easy enough,
but 1t gravels me. Can't you bile it
down somehow" eyes," said Shoaff.
81 can give you the common name
'.That's it," said Bill, "give me the
common name.'' s.'rhe common name, :"
said Shoaff, sis skunk's cabbage" And
then Bill concluded he'd either dig up
his tub, or let it swim along under as
high-sounding title as he could get.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1878-09-18
Birds, Now and Then.

Then, twenty-five years ago, robins,
wrens, cat-birds, and humming birds,
and, indeed, the whole summer flock
were certainly more numerous than
they are to-day. Some observers be-
lieve that the number of summer birds
has diminished more then half. The
same species are still with us, but how
long will they remain, when every
year, there are half dozen on the same
lawns where they were formerly count
ed by the score? Now, you may sit on
garden bench a long summer MORN
ing, and very possibly not see more
than one oriole, one blue-bird, one
greenlet, one yellow-bird. Even the
robins come hopping about the garden
walks by two and three, instead of the
dozen who were formerly in sight at
the same moment. And the humming
birds are very perceptibly less in num-
bers. One has TO watch for them BOW
i'm the summer twilight; presently you
shall see little ruby-thrOat lowering
alone about the honeysuckles, and per
haps, half an hour later, his wife, little
green-breast, may come for sip of
sweets. But that is all. Rarely, in
deed. do you see four or five quivering,
darting, flash about among the bios
SONS at the same moment, as one often
saw them in past years. The gregari-
Gus birds, too-the purple finches, the
wax-wings, the red-wings-are only
seen in small parties compared to the
fiocks that visited us twenty years ago.
And winter tells the same story. Not
that the regular winter birds are so
much less numerous than they were
probably there is little change among
the sober snow birds, the merry chick
adees, or the winter sparrows. These
will probably gather about our doors
in January in much the same groups
and small flocks that we Saw here for
merly. The woodpeckers and the blue
Jaws are less numerous, however. The
crows seem to hold their own, and in
mild weather come tapping out of their
fayorite haunts in the woods, to take
look at the village. But winter offers
a mode of guessing at the number of
the summer population, which is
pretty fair test, so far as the tree-build
ers are concerned. When the leaves
fall in November, the nests are revealed
and after snow has fallen, and each
nest takes tiny white dome, they be-
come still more conspicuous. The In
dian tribes count their people by so
many lodges or tepees; in the same way
during the autumn and winter months,
we may count the tree-building flock of
the previous summer by their nests.
And these tree-builders are probably
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1878-09-18
The Innocent Old Lady.

She lives down on Baker street, and
she has a daughter about eighteen
years old. The old lady retains all her
simplicity and innocence, and she does
not 90 two cents on style. The other
evening, when splendid catch"
called to escort the daughter to the
opera, the mother wouldn't take the
hint to keep still, and would not help
carry out the daughters idea that they
had wealth. While helping her daugh-
ter to get ready she asked:
"Mary, are you going to wear the
shoes with one heel off, or the pair with
holes in 'em?"
MARY didn't seem to near, and the
mother inquired:
''Are you going to wear that dollar
gold chain and that washed locket, or
will you wear that diamond your fa-
ther bought at the hardware store?"
Mary winked at her and the young
man blushed, but the old lady went
on:
''Are you going to borrow Mrs.
Browns shawl or will you wear mine:'
Mary hustled about the room and the
mother said:
''Be careful of your dress, Mary; you
know it's the only one you've got, and
you can't have another until the mort
gage on this place is lifted"
Mary remarked to her escort that it
promised TO be a beautiful evening, and
as she buttoned her gloves her mother
asked:
Those are Mrs. Hardy's gloves,
amt they? She's been good neigh
Dor to us, and | don't know how you'd
manage to go anywhere if she didn't
live near us.
Mary was hurryiRg to get out of the
room when the mother raised her
voice once more and asked:
''DId you run into Mrs. Jewett's and
borrow her bracelet and fan? Yes, L
see you did. Well, now, you look real
stylish, and l hope you'll have good
time
Mary sits by her window in the pale
moonlight and sighs for the splendid
young man to come and beau her round
some more, but he hasn't been seen up
that way since that night. The old
lady, too, says that he seemed like
nice young man, and she hopes he has
not been killed by the street cars.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1878-09-18
Ice Water.

A man who in a state of persperation
with the sweat oozing from every pore
in his skin, should suddenly strip off his
clothing and shut himself up in re-
frigerator would be set down in pub
lie estimation as a natural fool. who de-
fled Providence itself to save him from
death. Such thing actually happened
in this city few years ago, and the
man was taken out of the ice-box dead
as herring and stiff as a pikestaff. Ice
water arrests digestion, il it does not
absolutely drive out all animal heat,
and it is not resumed till the water is
raised TO the temperature required to
carry it on. Habitual ice water drink
ers are usually very fiabby about the
region of the stomach. They complain
that their food lies heavy on that pa
tient organ. They taste their dinners
for hours after it is bolted. They cul-
tivate the use Of stimulants to aid di-
gestion. If they are intelligent they
read about food and what the physiolo-
gist has TO say about it-how long it
takes cabbage and pork and beets and
potatoes and other meats and esculents
to go through the process of assimilla-
ton. They roar at new bread, hot
cakes and fried meat, imagining these to
have been the cause of their maladies.
But the ice water goes down all the
same, and finally friends are called in
to take a farewell look at one whom a
Providence has called to a
cline where. so far as is known, ice
water is not used. The number of i'm
mortal beings who go hence to return
no more on account of an injudicious
use of ice water can hardly be estima-
ted.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1878-09-18

visitor as if she imagined she was crazy.
she never could have the string halt,
for he had cork leg" she returned.
"a cork leg eg!-remarkable. But really
didn't he have dangerous trick of sud-
denly Stopping and kicking a wagon all
to pieces?''
Never; he was not a madman sir.''
Probably not. But there was some
good points about him."
81 should think sop
''The way in which he carried his
ears for example,"
Nobody else ever noticed that par
ticular merit" said the widow, with
much asperity; che was warm hearted,
generous and frank"
"Good qualities" answered he, un-
consciously. "How long did it take
him to go mile?"
About fifteen minutes
''Not much of a goer. Wasn't his
hair apt to flys"
''He didn't have any hair. He was
bald headed"
Qu te curiosity =!
''No sir; no more OF a curiosity than
you are"
The minister shifted uneasily, and
got red in the face. But he returned to
the attack.
Did you use the whip much on
him? ?" he questioned.
"Never, sir"
'Went right along without it, chi p
Eyes"
''He must of been a good kind of
brute?"
Mrs. Hadden turned white and made
no reply.
The minister did not know what TO
say, but finally blurted out:
"What most admired about him
was the beautiful waggle of his tsil.''
Then the widow just sat down and
cried.
''The idea of you coming here and
insulting me,'' she sobbed. ''If nv
husband had lived you wouldn't done
it. Your remarks in reference to the
poor dead man have been a series of
insults. L won't stand it,
He cOlored and looked dumbfounded.
mo, no."
'Ain't you Mrs. Biinkers?" he stam-
mered.
"And has not your old gray horse
died?"
81 never owned d-horse, but my
husband h-died week ago"
Ten minutes later the minister came
out of that house with the reddest face
ever seen on mortal man.
"And to think" he groaned, as he
strobe home, ''that was talking horse
to that woman all the time, and she
was talking husband"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1878-09-18

fair proportion of the whole summer
flock, including those who tuild among
the bushes or on the ground. Ii has
often been winter amusement of the
writer, when walking through the vii
lage streets, to count the birds nests
in the different trees in sight. The
trees are all familiar friends, and the
nests of different kinds add no little in
terest. But alas! every four or five
winters one observes the number of
nests diminishing. Among the maple
and elms lining the streets, or standing
on corners, or rooted on garden lawns
but overhanging the sidewalks, were
certain individual trees which were ap-
parently especial favorites; their gray
limbs never failed TO show year after
year several of these white-domed nests.
Here among the forked twigs of young
maple was the bold, rather coarsely-
built nest of the robin. shreds of cloth
or paper. picked up in the door-yards
hanging perhaps loosely from anon
thN oii
branch of an elm, near the churchyard
gate, was seen the long, closely-woven,
pensile nest of the brilliant oriole.
Here, again, not far from the town
pump-a primitive monument of civili-
zation dating from the dark ages of viii
lage history, but still highly valued
and much frequented by the present
generation, although the little town
now boasts its ''Croton"-a maple of
good size was never without nest in
fpite of the movement and noise about
the purNp. There were several of these
trees which showed every year two or
three nests; and one, a maple, differ
ing in no way from other naples so far
as one could see, and standing near
corner before the door of a parsonage,
the branches almost grazing the modest
windows of the house, revealed every
winter three, four or even five and one
year six, nests on different branches,
were often two robins nests, with the
pendulous nest of the greenlet, and one
of the goldfinch, and occasionally one
of summer yellow bird, or of a small
pewee. The tree is still standing, gay
with brilliant coloring. gay and red in
varied shades, at the moment we are
writing, but, so far as one can see,
there has been but one nest on its
branches during this last summer.
Such was the story told by the village
trees then; you were never out of sight
of some one nest, and frequently half
dozen could be counted in near neigh
borhOod. To-day it may be doubted if
we have more than one-third of the
number of these street-nests which
could be counted twenty years ago.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1878-09-18

\ deliver in the mines near Central
has late had quite a romantic expert
ence. a few weeks ago two bright
little cherubs hailed him on the street
as papa: rushing up aud with Joyful
acclamation, each seized hand of this
nonplused bachelor. Meyer before had
such endearing terms fell upon the
ear OF our Nevada friend. and his vali-
ty was flattered. Taking the little ones
to candy shop near by, he loaded them
down with good things, and sent them
home with many kind wishes for their
mothers welfare, who, itappears, some
two years ago had misunderstanding
with her husband and who has since
had no knowledge of his whereabouts.
But upon the recital of her children's
story regarding their (supposed) fa-
theirs muniticence and Kindness, her
heart beat with guickened throbs as
visions Of old times came before her
eyes, and, thin king herself not blame
less in regard to the separation, she re-
solved that ere another day should die,
the first advances toward a reconcilia-
ton should be made. Urged by this
thought she embarked on four wheel
steamer from Deadwood to Central,
then taking into her confidence a mu-
tual friend, sent for her supposed liege
lord. Our friend made his appearance
and was still further horrifiel by being
dubbed "My Dear Husband" Although
the resemblance was remarkable (as a
photo shown afterwards proved, still
our hero by his earnest expostulatiOn
finally convinced the lady that it was
a case of mistaken identity. "There's
"A divinity that shapes our ends, rough
hew them as we may
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1878-09-18
The Legal Right to Wear Corsets,

In an indirect way the Supreme Court
of Pennsylvania has been called upon to
decide the important question as to
whether woman has any legal right TO
wear stays. 1t gallantly says she has.
The matter found its way into court
after this fashion: \ lady was riding
in horse car, not crowded, perhaps,
but containing ladies enough to cover
all the seats with their dresses. so that
the traveller had to stand up, The car
stopped suddenly and she fell over
breaking her knee-pan. She sued for
damages. The company claimed con-
tributory negligence on her part, in
that she did not take hold of the strap
provided for standing passengers She
set up on the other hand that she could
not reach or hold the strap, owing to
the STAYS which she wore, and that with
the present fashions no lady can do so, at
least without inconvenience and posi-
Bile injury. The lower Court decided
that the lady, in taking hold of fellow
passengers hand, had done all that was
necessary, and that under the circum-
stance, she was not obliged to stretch
up to the strap. 1t awarded her about
s., 900, and the Supreme Court, review
ing the case, declines to interfere. Itis
a question of some sociological impor-
tance to know how this decision would
be received by the sex. At first glance
it looks like declaration in favor of
woman's rights, but it will scarcely
stand analysis as such. 1t amounts
really to the official proclamation that
woman shall remain erampod, barreled
up, and unable to lift her arms, and
content only with elinging to some
other persons hand for support. And
this is what modern dress amounts to.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1878-09-18

haps cried half an hour, when a step
crushed the dry grass at her side, reused
her, and the very voice she dreaded to
hear, said:
''I've come to return your ring, Miss
Prudence?''
Poor little Prudence sat up hastily
and took the unfortunate ring with a
faltering ''Thank you," then immedi-
ately hid her face again.
"You needn't thank me; | should
have brought it before, but l couldn't
find you. l hope you're not troubled
about those ridiculous jokes, he added.
dignifiedly.
NO." responded Prudence miser-
ably, between her sobs; Il thought
you'd think l did it on purpose
"How could l have thought so? 1t
was mere accident, my getting that
particular biscuit. I'm very sorry
you've been annoyed in this way. Tm
going away tomorrow Miss Prudence"
The sobs partially ceased, and Miss
Prudence said, surprisedly, "are you?"
won't you bid me good-by 30
Prudence said Yes" unsteadily,
but did not raise her head,
You will shake hands, won't you,
Miss Prudenee?"
No answer.
81 can't goaway while you are often
ded with me. Won't you at least tell
me why you are crying?"
because II lost my grandmother's
ring, "sobbed Prudence, makinga a great
effort for composure.
Mr.. Wentworth laughed in spite of
himself. 'Why, it's safe on your fin
ger, and not W hit worse for its baking
Is there really no other reasons"
"N-no."
but there is. | shall never have
another happy moment if I've offended
yOu," said Mr.. Wentworth, tragically.
81 was Il brute to treat you as did, this
afternoon; but I'm going away, and
shan't annoy you again. Won't you
forgive me now and shake hands?"
Another long silence. Mr.. Went
worth turned away in despair, but was
detained by a faltering voice, ''I-I'll
forgive you if
"Well 2" was the breathless interposi-
ton.
"Iou-won't-gO-away."
The more observant boardcrs noticed
at breakfast the next morning that Mr.
Abbott Wentworth wore the ring that
he had found in the biscuit on the little
finger of the left hand, and that Pru-
lence wOre,a heavily chased gold circle
i'm the place of her lost ornament. To
use the words of one of the before-named
boarders, THAT tells the whole story"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1878-09-18
MY LIFE.

oh sad and weary pass my days,
Upon this shaded earth:
There lies no dover amid its lays,
To wake my soul to mirth;
And life, for me, no brightness hath;
Dark lowers the storm-cloud DER my path.
Faint glimpses Of the sunny sky,
The pure and perfect day,
Come floating in their gladness by,
Bnt oh! not long their stay.
No life hath ever been to me
A shaded sky-a stormy sea-
Oh, death would be indeed relief,
Yet 'tis to me denied;
While those who strangers were to grief.
In all their joys have died.
Gone is the clear-voiced murmuring rill;-
The troubled fount is flowing still
The friends prized-they were but few;
The lovely and the brave,
They've passed away, like early dew,
To slumber in the grave.
To me their memory doth seem
Like faint, sweet yet troubled dream
Alas there is no joy for me,
No balm for my sad heart
/ must live on in misery,
Yet longing to depart;
A flower, the pillows wild among
A leaf, upon the rude winds flung
And / would wish that not one sigh.
One bitter tear should fall.
No wall awake, when / shall lie
Beneath the shadowy pail.
No, then the wild sea will find rest
The weary dove will find her nest
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1878-09-18

Whenever you argue with another
wiser than yourself, in order that others
may admire your wisdom, they will
discover your ignorance. When one
manages discourse better than your
self, although you may be fully in
formed, do not start objections.