Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1878-08-06
4 Mnn Under me Bed

mlu. No man IN his senses ever looks
under the bed for a woman, but there are
millions OF women in this country who
would find /, quite impossible to sleep IN
Any bed under which they had not prev
iously looked for q concealed man. Tx
pcrieucc Is lost upon them The average
married woman o, forty years Of age
has usually looked under the bed at least
800 times, without ever once finding
the expected man; but she = not the least
discouraged by so long course o. failure.
and 70 would be easy 10 lind men OF
ninety years OF age who still nightly
search tor the man whom they have
never found
Miss johnson, Of Evanston. vii. here
after te famous as O. woman whose long
--r.everauce has been sigual'y rewarded.
&c would Do ndclicatc 70 inquire in.o her
precise aye, had she not described herself
ir o recent affidavit as having been oorn
r me year 1884 sud W. may. therefore.
take D., ior z .uted ,hat she Is At least l3
wears cid II wc assume that -7e hec7r
n. 'u.k under the bed NJ the are o. .i.-
...u. 10 follows Jhat she A-s performed
chat ccrcmoDe moro than 10000 times.
t-t. last Friday she never found the
sm1 49,, fragment 90 s. mcn under her
bed uur GA thl, oycD,Iu. night her per-
scy--1ucc Wa- rewarded, and itc long
.ou.a, man greeted her a.t'n.shcd gaze.
Mis-, johnson being au unmarried .aly,
not wholly uocouacctcd with the w.n-
cr'- trade. and tu., o.. womauy iudcpcui-
eacc. resides entirely a.9ue 10 % small
house containing bur irrcc rooms--a
kitchen. -hor and h,l-room. Dec she
aesp.>,s. and.cat, she mis,rusts while SIS
for men. she regards them -s poor crcs-
lures Who mas possibly have their uses
iu ti4s % drought. when Che water must
be cartci FROM ,h, creek. bu; who. es
rue. make more trouble about p house
than ,helr uee>~ ere w nth. H-l.uE
tles views % naturally fellows 1ha, Mss
J1tu~yn live, -.ole s.d tae COO. bravery
4it1 which she .cks up her house 90
u-c4- and seeks her solitary couch, no
matter u e. l5st-c.-ss thunder storm IS 10
progress. has Tor years been the admira-
ti0u OF the more umil o.. her sex
Ii wa, 1bou, II O'Clock las; Friday
night when Nj, johnson stopped down
AMI 1okcl uuler ber bed Tor q possible
NAH. precisely a- she had done gu 10000
previous nights Whether she vas OF
wa no, a,,cnsho5 ~ Pesceiving .ar.e
sized man wing un1cr the bed, with the
t8cS Of ais head towards her vi. Ucve.
be- suown, but at any rate she gave 10
sign oil asionj,hmcl,, and dii not even
inform tte man that she saw him Ga the
contrary, she resumed wiJh grea, dl.ib-
Grafton the uocura. twisting Of hsr back
hair, and even softly hummed Hold the
Fort with as much dIsIuc'ucss as could
be expected OF woman while holding O.
comb between her teeth Her back hair
being fualy finished, she opened her
window turned down the lamp until IL
CAV, forth 81 dim and modest hight, and
then stepped gracefully into bed But
not 70 sleep
That -ag4ei0u, woman was perfectly
vel aware chat lh- man under the he'd.
not ~uspecuug tha, he had been discover
cd, would creep forth with a view to
plumber as soon lis ae found that she was
asleep. The bcd-tead stood IN the corner
OF the room, and from the position Of the
man It vas plain that he would creep out
at the side Of the bed. Miss johnson,
therefore. changed her usual manner Of
composing herself to rest, and .ay. as she
subsequently expressed 10, fat As a pan
cake Nth her head projected over the
side OF ihe tel at the precise locality
where she expected the man 10 appear.
For st least half an hour she lay perfect
IL still, watching for the man with
stea.thy vigilance t6a, would have done
credit 70 an as.ute aut experienced cat
Not d muscle on q bair-0in Of her frame
moved. and her breathing was a. slow and
regular as that Of profound sleeper At
length, the man, confident that she was
asleep, softly began 20 worm himself from
under the bed, moving after the manner
prescribed by way Of penalty to the orig
iual serpent OF the Garden Of Eden.
Little did he Imagine that pair Of pitt
less gray eyes were waiting for the ap-
Gear nee Of the head, while a pair OF
1.-THE and nervous hands were ready 20
pounce upon DIS ears. Ii vas not many
minutes, however, before each ear was
suddenly cauch, iu an inex0rsble grasp,
and MS head began 10 oscillate With re-
markabie speed between the Aoor and
edge OF tbe bedstesd
Won Moitke himself could not have
surpassed Miss Johuson's tactics She
bad the man completely 1t her mercy.
and be was ~ helpless as though his head
were 10 tie stocks At first his cantor
maintained a grim silence. bot after she
had bumped him sufficiently 10 ease her
mind, she addressed him upon the wick.
edness and folly Of seeking TO rob her
In vain did the man protest that bis mo.
tiyes were innocent; that he had mis-
taken the house, and had merely intend
ed 70 take a quiet mp ulder his own
beis,ead. where fae flies could not dud
hun Miss Johnson sternly told HIM that
be could not make her believe any such
4 nonsense, and that sho would "let him
know, and would also show ham 80