The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1878-02-28
MtT AND HuM0R+

An old hen don't prophesy an egg
till it has happened.
How to make Maltese Cross
Tread on her tail.
The noble Briton has been walked
up just in time to miss the train. and
he begins to feel pretty mad about it.
s'Ma.' said little girl .swhat is all
this fuss about trademarks ! Is it the
trade marks that make so many
wrinkles in pas forehead p
A Bridgeport man courted his wife
seven years. and, after living with her
two, now acknowledges it was a court
of errors.
\ little boy was asked the other day
if he knew where the wicked finally
went TO. He answered: '.They prac-
tice law here spell. and then go to
the Legislature.
The following lines were sung at a
coloredcamp-meeting in Pennsylva-
MA "A floating down de narrow
stream OF sin is milk. religion cream.
Sing glory hallelujah =
Il live in Julia's eyes, said an
affected dandy in Colman's hearing.
81 don't wonder at it. replied George,
''since | observed she had a sly in
them when saw her last.
General, did you suffer from cold
daring the campaign--didn't you wish
for a little warm air now and then p
sob ] always had little war mare
with me-
A Catholic priest was asked the
difference between Romanists and
Ritualists. .sThe difference" replied
the priest, sis that the former are
'Papists' and the latter are sApeists."
A gentleman named More proposed
by letter to a young lady, who
answered him with glowing descrip-
ton of a great party, emphasizing the
last line of her note. $50 no More at
present"
II told her I'd never smoke another
cigar he said, softly. land / won't.
A pipes plenty good enough for me-"
--and hegracefully drew match over
the largest part Of his trousers.
The longest sentence on record was
constructed by Western Judge. He
ward slapped two more years to the
sentence because the prisoner called
him mo gentleman
Theology gets little mixed in the
youthful mind. .'Who made you r.
asked a teacher Of little girl. ssShe
answered.: ..God made me that length
putting her hands about twelve inches
apart, land growed the rest myself"
! Discerning Child who has heard
! some remarks by papa)-Are you our
new nurse Nurse Yes, dear. Child
. Well. then. I'm one of those boys
: who can only be managed by kindness:
80 you'd better get some sponge cakes
! and oranges at once.
50 long as the legs Of the small boy
, do not extend higher til an his breath.
,, ing apparatus it will be impossible tt
get him into pair of rubber boots 10
far that he will not 20 straightway out
and stand in puddle where the water
will just run in oyer the tops Of the
same.
!. Freddy Longshanks twho IL really
!. very proud Of his lofty stature)--.I
assure you: my dear fellow, find ms
height an awful nuisance. Id give
/, anything to be no bigger than you r
: Jack Short-.'Then why the dickcn.
do you wear such enormous heelsl-
/ a San Francisco paper prints III
advertisement which reads: wis, II
, this catches your eye. write, AZ w
} think yon are dead" The paper has
, an extensive circulation, but Ii /.
/ doubtful ii il reaches the proper
1 locality in case the advertisers fear
I. are well founded.
r Talk about female curiosity--it's III
4 onesided. Let one man stop on tn
8 street tn spell ont sign on the top b
b \ high building, and every Othe
5 mothers son that goes by will stan,
3 still and stare for ter minutes irwin,
, TO make ont what the first idiot
booking at-