The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-07-10
HUMoRs OF T.4E suHooL-Roem.

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HUH0RS OF ThE SV4O0L-R00M.
In order to show that the interests Of
education are not always served at the
polls, send you the accompanying "string
of pearls" which have dropped from time
to time fram the mouths Of various school
committeeman within the range of my ex-
perience:
l. One of the gems entered school
room in one of our suburban towns, and,
as he found the geography class up for
recitation, took occasion to expatiate upon
the benefits accruing from the study of this
branch, in this wise:
eyes, children it does you good to know
things You don't want to be dolts all
your life; but when you see things you
want to know 'em; when you see Alps,
you'll know thems mountains; when you
see Appenines you'll know them's noun
tains; and when you see Dardanelles, you'll
know hem's mountains!"
2. To show what qualifications in o
teacher seems to be necessary and suffi-
cient in the opinion of some of the "pow-
ers that be-" in some sections, am able to
vouch for this:
A gentleman, having a friend for whom
he wished to obtain school, called upon
the man filling the Office of committee, and
stated his wish.
SIS she handsome quoth Mr.. H.
eyes, sir, she is called very handsome"
"Well, then," said the high-minded digni-
tary, "she shall have school"
Alas in this state of things, for the plain
aspirants to pedagogic honors
8. About thirty miles "up north" is q
"deestrict' where the prudential commit
tee is a man who was put in the position
"just for fun" by his townsmen.
Joke as it was at first, it got to be dread
fully practical when the grave "know moth
ing" grew to the habit of visiting his
charge once a week, and always making a
speech, of which the following is true
transcript:
Scholars, you must love your school,
you must love your books, you must love
your teacher-I do"
4. A very important parsonage was one
who confded to me the trials of his public
life. Said he:
''I have to work too hard. 1t is enough
for me to have to tend to my milk bizness
without doing SO much else." "What
else?" 1 said, interestedly. "Oh, I'm
S'lectman, School Committeeman, and
member of the House!" (Which shall
you give up, do you think?" "WaIl, I've
been thinking I'd better give up the School
Committed" and 1 thought SO, too; but I
only said: 'Do you find your duties oner-
us?" and his reply was worthy Tinon of
Athens: ''Yes, do; but the honor is all a
curse"
s. In discussing the question Of music in
the public schools, one remarked blandly to
me that he "should as soon think of send
ing hog to dancing school as his children
to learn to sing in one of them!"
6. Another stood with his hat on his
head and his two hands plunged to the
depths of his pockets, while listening to the
repeating of the beautiful 23d Psalm by the
children and, when they were through
with it, remarked, with pleased air
"They spoke that piece pretty WE'LL"
7. At one time, during long visit, the
Committeeman only removed his hat tc
show me, with pat on his bald head
what he was pleased to call the "result Of
cramming." He didn't believe in it-he
had suffered so himself
g. But better than all is the following
anecdote, which is true to the minutes
particular
One of our grammar school principals
was in the habit of conducting his class il
geography in what was then rather move
way. He would suppose some compound
ed article of food-as loaf of bread o.
cake, mince pie, etc.-and have the pu
pills "go on a voyage" for the ingredients
telling where each came from, and tn,
route for it, over what mountains, rivers
seas or oceans as well as the countries ira
versed-a very valuable and interesting
method, by the way, as it makes it a rea
thing, and is not all ''book learning"
Dr. H. happened in one day during sucl
on exercise, and, being much pleased will
it, asked Mr. S. to ''send 'em for plum
pudd'n'" Accordingly, they started off OF
their travels for the four sugar, salt rails
ins, spices, milk, etc., till they stopped, a
they thought, at the end. go on" sal,
our committeeman. II can't think of any
thing more said one. ''Nor l." said an
@;ll Ill boJ e,>olyan EIwhy