The Ottawa free trader., 1878-06-22


some, she is worth her weight in gold"
An unsophisicatcd New England commerce.
traveller on reading sign General Mercha
disc" on a store, walked in and asked if he cou
see the general.
He held her in his strong right arm;
Close to his throbbing side;
They heard the music of the sea,
The moaning Of the tide.
Long years have passed, and often now,
The neghbors, either side
Hear, when the family jars break ont,
The moaning of the ticd.-Hdckcye
One of the boss advcntists says the world Wi
come to an end in 1880. We have always sal
that George Francis Train could never be pres
dent
No. YOU are mistaken, Eliza Pinkston is not I'll
the kitchen" cabinet Of the White House. Sher
man event back' on her.
Brother Jasper says he knows enough to keel
out of Jail, and that's where he's ahead Of ole
Calico, at any rate.-LoweN Courier.
DR.. Newman, in lecture on Cinnamon, say!
"the first thing Chinaman does after he gets /
wife is TO get coffin" He doubtless expects tC
be talked TO death Women are the same tho
world oyer.-7imc.
IT'S sweet when the berries are ripe,
And the lily pods bend meath the snipe,
To sit at your
With your fair Elosc,
And give the mosquito wipe.
Hr. Iarkn Turner, of Merriwcther county,
Ga, took his first dose of medicine when he was
100 years old Fatal step! He only lived ten
years after that.
,,t.I Iiu, g., a I1anlnt nvn
Burchard's congressional prospects, attacks him
with Col. Sheets.-Diroa San.
Are "col. sheets worse than white sheets?
What col. d them?
There hasn't been western town upset by Il
tornado or rent in twain by cyclone for awhole
day, Go west, young man, and blow up with the
country.
Our eXtra.strong- minded woman has remarked
that an old bachelor is Il man who, through self
ish motives, has rcfrained from making some
woman wrctched.-Rochestr Union.
Looking at the long list Of Florida and Louis-
ana rascas appointed to Office by Hayes, he seems
to be guided by the scriptural aphorism that "the
wares Of sin is'-ollicc.
The city council OF Macomb refuse to grant IL
censes to saloon keepers but license druggists
10 sell liquor as medicine for "snakc bites" and
now all the fellows 90 out early in the morning
10 pick blackberrlcs barefoot and every thorn
prick counts.
Times are getting harder and harder. Less
than 800 immigrants a week now arrive at New
York, while $50 rich people week leave that
city for Europe.
The hardest head we ever read Of is that of
Horace Babcock of Pontiac. Even Joycs thun-
derbolt could Mt enter his skull. The Sentinel
says: "Ilc was sitting in BARRIERS chair when
the bolt hit his head and cut swath clean
around close to his skull to the base of his neck ;
then il caromcd Off aud took a strip some eight
inches in width to the northeast corner Of his
eyebrow, glancing around the corner another
swath as broad as wagon-whccl. was taken
literally off the crown, and now he looks like q
ciicus agent or hotel clerk"
Butter is selling at HOopcstown for five cents a
pound, and the Ch,voiclc iccingly says; at is
discouragng TO the hcifcrs, and TO the owners Of
Leifers and to The good women who bang and
slam away at sour milk four hours TO produce II
pound Of the stuff when it can be made by ma.
chincry out OF combination Of lard, flies, old
socks, soft soap, toejam, worms, and worn out
tustlcs IN I've minutes"
Once Venus, dceming love too fat.
Stopped all his rich, ambrosial dishes
booming the boy TO live on chat
To sup on songs, and dine on wishes.
Love, lean and ank, few off TO prowl-
The staryeling now TO Beauty boosted
He could have munchcd Minerals owl,
Or Junos peacock, boiled or toasted.
At last, half furnished, almost dead,
lie shot his mothers doves for dinner
Young Lula, passing, shook her head.
Cried Love, " \ shot at you YOU sinner"
"Oh, not at mcn'-she urged he flight
g IN neither dove nor lark nor starlng."
No!" faiuting Cupid cried, mot quito,
But then you re such duck, my darling"
Il was an appointment clerk in the General
PostoiIice who, being asked to produce certain
damaging dispatches before the Potter commit
tee, said a rat had eaten them. Hence
TALE or RAT.
This Is the 4. aud z. Office.
These are the damaging Telegrams
That lay in the 4. aud p. oiiice.
These are the Rats, large as lambs,
That gnawed the damaging kilograms
That lay in the 4. and p. office.
This Is the Manager, who, with saiaains,
Declared that Rats as large as lambs
Had gnawed the damaging kilograms
That laylin the A. and p. Office.
This i Ben Butler who treated as fans
The tales the Manager told with salaams
About the Rats az large a. lambs
That gnawed the damaging kilograms
That lay in the A. and p. Office.
This Is Stan Matthews who utters curses
Because Ben Butler treated as fans
The tales The Manager told with salaams
About the Rats as large as lambs
That rnawed the damaging kilograms
That lay in the A. and p. ofice.-Worh.