The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1878-01-17

{
Music OF sHe oars.
The fools palssise : The sciilv.
islands.
When is soldiers ammunition box
like country roadi When it is full
of cartridges.
s.Aleohol will clean silver" Yea
alcohol well stuck To will clean out ali
the silver you have.
When will there be only twenty-fve
letters in the alphabet When you aud
are made one.
Satan is the first tramp mentioned in
history; he went to aud fro on the
earth looking for jo',.
He who reads 20 newspaper Of any
kind is only spared ut htsv,n Shai be
may sit on jury.
Why hsy, cgiek,ns no hetezntfl
Because they have ,neir necks .Wlried
(next world) III Iris.
Mistress: els the bread sany, j nsfss
Jane (who is afiiieted with bsd G. Id:
Dough, ma'am-il's wheat"
Would it be proper TO call 'sstony-
-
would the name be too hardi
When Spriggins's wife called him an
old rooster, he sald she was the most
fowl-mounted woman he ever knew.
A host, desiring to show hrs guest
into the children's nursery, rendered
him an invitation to visit the bawl-
room.
Conkling is playing patronage
trumps, and imsgines that the applause
Of the Senate is the glad acclaim Of
forty millions of people.
The Free Press mentions an innocent
Detroit boy, doctors son, who pointed
to the skull in the Office OF his father,
and earnestly asked: ibid you kill
him, fatherG'
Czar to John Bull: nMuch obliged
for your cranberries, but prefer my Tur-
key spitted in. its own juice. Please
accept the accompanying Siberian crab
apple sauce for your sIrtoin,"
Mr.. Dahm runs large stove store up
at Eagle Hsrbor, Michigan, aud the
Marquette journal says: ''He must
have an extensive trade, for we have
heard his lame mentioned in connec-
ton with all the stoves and stoyepipes
ever put together here or elsewhere
II the marriage service could only be
so modified and amended as TO include
the lighting of morning fires among the
other obligations assumed by the bride,
there wouldn't be SO many old bache-
lors jabbing their fingers with darning
needles and shiyering around In the
cold.
Is there much difference between g.
gay lutte and blasted lyre2 Or is one
a cymbal of the other3 Musical folks
will be able to guitar good idea of the
subject at once. Each one Is expected
to answer accordion to his views, as
concertins case like this is not looked
for, but we hope they win not spinet
out toe long.
An absent-minded carpenter out on
South Hill, the other day, sat down on
q Eimlet. ''What's the matter with
yoHgp asked "a feliow-craftsman, who
saw his painful wriggling. "Aw,
nothing much" was the reply, ..only
Pm wearing a new kind OF bdt5 "a
plaster" And his innocent friend aid
they were uncomfortable thihg1
A correspondent asks the Bnfll0etah
Hdlok Eye, ''Do youithink IL iEsw1ck6d
to smoker' And the Husnk- hBt ra-
plies, "on dreadfully. awtully, sinfull5
wicked. Send your cigars 10 this ofiieSs
and let ns burn them Tor yuu. y f,8e
you swear OF and reform. Il Is too,
late for US. We went 10 swear of last
1 II m 4 a -.
man had gone to u picnic"
Two West Hill teachers were disput-
ing about the pronunciation OF barrel.
One SAID it was bare.rel, aud the other
SAID it was baw-rel. They referred the
matter to an old cooper, pointing to
thing made to hold beer, by way Of
explaining what they meant. "Tain't
nary one,p he said; stps kag." And
now the two preceptors are more badly
mixed than ever.