The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1878-04-18
WHOLE NO. 1908.


ihe hAhcrF queAlton-hha pite Jet
fool aud bis fathers money are soon
parted
Solomon was the hrst man who parted
the heir IN the middle
There isn't a vegetable that can ksieh.
I'D with the tomato.
do you want 10 make = sound invest.
msntR Then buy telephone.
"Now. Johnny. says Grandma. - want
you Co 30 still ~ a mouse. ~f Monses
don sit still. GrandmA."
England may b. -mistr~us of abe C.. +"
but shc has never yct been able 20 fairly
master the IL
A mules hind les has only one season.
u = alEays beautiful Spring
some men will work harder 10 drown
a neishhnr'a cat than they would 10 GET a
mule Of their own cut of = quagmife.
Should Bennett perish IN the Arctic
regions would u be called q poleoaias.
irophe.
A good many Circasaian girls. who
travelled with Last years circuse.. are.
this year, doing kitchen work for o. a
week.
II j. said that virtue has iis own re-.
ward. but ~ no reward hsn reached this
Office. thus far. 80 rather doubt the
truth Of the saying
There are SO6i distinct languages. and
yet the mau who smashes biz nose on the
edge Of door In the dark. fuda difficulty
IN expressing himself
The Friendly Gossip IL the proposed
title Of new paper IN Boston. Ia will.
of course be printed on hand press.
A little six.year old says ths eagle on
Blarda new silver dollar looks like a
ben tryin' 70 light on hot stove"
England l. prepared. well. - .. baking
powder. artisfs Frlatine. compressed
yeast and condensed milk.
The Chicago Tribune called George
Francis Train a dried up. roasted duwn
and salied away fool. and George rushed
TO n lawycr.
man died In Louisville the OTHER day
who prnlvsssd o. have kissed Bobby
Barns wife II he bad kissel our wife
be would have died long ego.
A movement i on fooa among New
York merchants % do away with drum.
mer. We suspect this j. IN attempt TO
close up she saloons IN small towns.
D. Witt Talmaga says the men in the
uuitrd States smoke aud ch~w up Que
hundred million dollars worth of tobac-
CO year By George. We always knew
We weren't getting our share.
II the adags Love thy neighbor a.
thys~lf' were generally carried out. it
strikes "a that some people we knew
would be dresdlully fond OF their neigh.
bors.
II j. really pity that those high col
lars which our bret young men were
won't 90 adorn themselveH have passed
out Of fashion They would have been
such complete disguise Tor tbe mumps.
One side OF the fraudulent dollar has
fat British girl on with = tr~msnlous
bang. and tha other hen aying of her
ncst--pfobably frightened by the bang
Louise Pomeroy has taken new hus.
band. aud his name. like that oi hia pre-
dpces-or u Mark IL sh~ peFarveres che
wiii perhaps succeed "a marrying Mark,
the perfect man
A Chinese legend says that tho feet Of
every pair n D. united IN wedluck arc
from infancy tied together with an invis.
ible THREAD of elk This Is The reason
brigham Young could not wslk until he
was hiteen mouths old.
A Southern paper regrets that some.
thing can not Be done 30 inducs The
blacks in some Of the over.crowded sec
tious 10 emisrate 10 Liberia. tt never
TO the editor 20 start q report
that they raise watermeiona a. bis ~
COW over there.
barber was called In 10 shave the face
of dead man recently. and the ruling
passiou" prompted him % give the corpse
the whole history Of the silver hili che
rise aud tall of gold aud the attitude Of
the foreign bondholdcrs 10 the premises.
They are going 10 have an artidciai
Niagara Falls at the Paris Exposition
bot. unless an American i charged &C.
teen dollars far looking Al it and has bis
pocket picked BY . haokman. hr wili fail
10 recognize %.
No matter nov thoroughly you clean
the house. the vile Of the next man Rha
moves in will declare that it u not fit for
hogs TO live IN. and will slnp suds around
over everything % "a tko it dt f0r hogs
10 1--we in
Two Pennsylvania ladies were convers.
ing In the gallery Of the Uuit~d States
senate. when one of them asked ths
other ~ she didu't think Don Cameron
great Improvement on his iather No"
was lhr answer. "he cant begin % write
such love letters n the oil man
The resident of washinrton Territory.
having heard that another man had srt.
tied ~ the Western part II the Territory.
immediately applied Toe admission into
.he Jnion a. q state. aud mas promised
10 elect ths other man O. tho legislature.
.f the other mau will pledge htm.vit %
vote fur bim Tor United states Senator.
Now. then. state your caae." aaid
Detroit lawyer. the other day. o. b. put
The Eve dollar biil away in bis vrst
pocket. "Well." began hi. client. cup
pose the man living next door wants %
put q barn right up against my line
coming within two feet ~ my house n
b. Tie cant do a. siF Can't do any such
thing replied the lawyer. "But ! want
90 pat my barn uslt a. aRainst bic line.
rrmnr ksd his client. suh-ah-y~s I
200. Well. cir. 80 right ahead aud pot
your barn there All the iaM in the case
IL on your eide.
This man. sail the warden. pausing
beiorr the door ot cell No ~. "was sent
here Tor most brutal assault on two
freshmen az Princeton. where ho VS.
sophomore. lie j. one Of thc worst
characters ia thc prison. The cell al.
joining j. occupied hy q man who vas
sophomore at Yale lie attempted %
poison the entire freshman ulasn AL