Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1878-09-06
linuloi.


MAEN's urrLk ,oWN,
Mary had n liulr corn
lpan her ltttle toe,
And cNerNwhctc that Man Mcut
The corn was sure Il An.
And 10 The CoouuE oeeaus Shorr
Il followed her ouC tAN,
Hut the little ache Npln MAS sore
hiaad Rte.p
what maACH the cutu hurt Mnry SoNt
The other plNcrS cited,
"RerauSc she wears her boots So tight,
A locker gu rcrlet
Ssdsii, Pttu
And Sou n littlr mnp alan
Nour loo can grow to Slit
Ry putting on u 'tlNe' stFed foot
number two aged hoot.
Boston rrdfttel
And Whrn the doctor filed II down
u quiet dtd rcnlaln,
rll Mury hit II ut "ruquCt,"
And then II hurt neatn,
Nsr lork Raii
How to get rid Of had habits. EN-
change thrm tor articles ut yirtu
Some mon cannot stand prosperity.
Others never get II chance to try.
"Alcohol is made of bcots in Cahlor-
mia. New York heats are made Of the
same tluid N. \, Dispatch,
Ladies' hike basque waists, hut m ed
itor cant get along without n waist
basque it is said, = Whitehall Tones.
A newspaper announces the death of
n lady celebrated for the purity Of her
character and complexion
The worst thing about mosquito is
its long soliloQuy rs to where and when
1t had better settle down and bite
low sleep the hravcY inquiries the
Chicago Tribune Nicely, thank YOU,
except when il i opprcssivclv warm,
thon we lie awake half the night
An lown farmer worth $l9, 600 startcd
ont four years ago 10 secure legal re,
ycngc onunciShhor The lawyers have
his all now, while I've las revenge.
Wonacll Phillips advises Never
call man Il linr' We never do. II
is more polite To call him gas.meter.
NouiSiomn HcrdM
rhc woman aud nll ol the sex do.
who ghnecs under the bed III night be
fore retiring, evidently has ii mind The
provcrh, Look before you sleep.
MimdIhU BuLktiu
A tooth brush that sheds bristles will
do more to cXasporate II man than any
thing else we know Of, unless II be
drinking soup III tahlc with one ley
shorter thnn the others Puck
A gentleman who WAS presented with
m heir, after having had six children
1tl t,t., IA,
acknowledged that i was a great sir-
prize.
A man ordered some spring chickens
for dinner, and when he attempted To
carve them, one of them sprung into
his lap. "That settles it, he remark
ed; these are undoubtedly spring
chickens, but they have seen a fall Or
two before this.
A young man objected to the Young
girl that his rich old uncle wanted him
to marry. You mustn't be 80 partc-
ular, said the exaspcratcd uncle. -
tell you she's well enough" So she
il uncle, responded the nephew, and
you know you always taught me to
leave well enough alone
A wng, who thought to have n joke
ut the expense Of M Irish provision
dealer, said, Can you supply me with
yard Of pork n Pat," Snid the deal
or to his assistant, give this gentleman
three pigs feet"
A wild-cycd rcformer looked i'll this
morning with n twenty pNgo article on
the labor question, written on both sides
IA. ,sl,. II
how To handle forms, laid him tcnderly
away in the cellar Boston Transcript
Old party (who Inns sent for the land-
lord) 4" Landlord, can't get anything
to cnt. Your pretty waiter girls devote
their time 70 the good.looking young
fellows. Haven't YOU got il homely old
waiter who has lost her taste for beau.
typ Hdrper's Bdsdr
A man who can stand u great grief
and conceal il, and hug il 70 his bosom,
and 90 smiling around the world, emit
conceal biz emotion whom fly lights
on bis nose while the barber ls scraping
his throat. This is what makes II so
difficult TO get correct statistics Of those
who really fall from grace. keokuh
T0nstituitOn.
The story II again going around that
Johnny Steele, the oil prince, used to
amuse himself when travelling by hiring
hack, riding in il for u few minutes,
and then buy the turnout and present
ing il to the driver. We state authori-
tatiycly that he never did this except
At Niagara, and there il was cheaper to
do it than to pay the hackman's charg-
"a. Mr. Steele was not entirely destitute
of business qualifications, we wish peo-
pie to understand. =. 0it CITY Derrick.
a girlin Kentucky struck her croqnct
partner on the head with mallct, brain