The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-11-12
MRS. COOLYs EXPERIMENT.

MRS. COOLYS EXPERIMENT.
NOOLY has been suffering great
~ deal, since the cool nights and
mornings have set in, with rheuma-
tism, and his wife has been badly fright
tened for fear it will end in consump-
ton. Cody could not be induced to try
any remedy for the trouble, and Mrs.
Cody has been nearly worried to death
about it. She determined to try strategy.
She made up dry mustard plaster, and
one night, while he was asleep, she
sewed it on to the inside of his under
shirt so that it would just about cover
the rheumatic place. Cody dressed
himself in the morning, wholly unsus-
picious of the plaster, and went down
stairs. At the breakfast table, while he
was talking to his wife, he suddenly
stopped, looked cross eyed, and spasm
of pain passed over his face. Then he
took up the thread of the conversation
again, and went on. He was in the
midst of an explanation of the political
situation in Ohio, when all at once he
ceased again, grew red in the face, and
exclaimed:
'' L wonder what in the-no, it can't
be anything wrong"
Mrs. Cody asked what was the mat
ter, and Cody said
"Oh, it's that internal old rheuma-
tism again, come back awful. But L
never felt it exactly the same way be-
fore; it kinder stings me-"
Mrs. Cody said she was sorry.
Then Mr.. Cody began again, and
was just showing her how the ravages
of the potato bugs in the East, and the
grassphoppers in the West, affected the
political result-when he suddenly drop
ped the subject and jumping up, he
said:
Thunder and lightning, what's that !
Ouch o, Moses! feels if L had a
shovel full of hot Goals inside my un-
dershirt"
g Must be that rheumatism getting
worse" said Mrs. Cody, sympatheti-
cally.
Oh, gracious, no. It's something
worse than rheumatism. Feels like
fire burning into my skin. Ouch
Ow-wow-wow. It's awful. L really
can't stand it another minute. L be-
lieve its cholera, or something, and Pm
going to die.
DO try to be calm, Mr.. Cody"
"Calm How can a man be calm
with a volcano boiling over under his
shirt. G'way from here. Get out of
the way quick, while go up stairs and
undress. Murder-r-r-r, but it hurts. Let
me get out quick"
Then he rushed up to the bedroom
and stripped off his clothing. His
chest was the color of boiled lobster
but he couldn't tell for the life of him
rested on something white on his shirt.
He picked up the garment and ex-
amined it. Ten minutes later he came
slowly down stairs with dry mustard
plaster in his hand, while his brow was
clothed with thunder.
Going up to Mrs. Cody, he shook the
plaster under her nose, and said in a
suppressed voice:
did you put that thing in my
clothes ?'
g L did 10 for the best, Charles" she
said, A." thought--"
"Oh, never mind what you thought,
you crooked-nosed, chuckle headed
idiot Never mind what you thought.
You've taken the bark clean off my
bosom, till I'm raw as sirloin steak,
and I'll probably never be well again
as long as live. That lets you out.
You play any more tricks on me, and
I'll hist you into the coal bin and keep
you there till you starve to DEATH"
Then he slammed the door and went
out. Mrs. Cody doesn't know to this
day exactly what effect the grass hop
pers, etc, had on the fall elections.
Queen Victoria and the Welsh Tailor.