St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1878-11-08
Nasty.

CONFEDRIT X. ROADS


WITCH is IN THE STATE wv KENTUCKY, :
October Is, 1873. J
supposed that when we he'd ishood
our tiat-mOney that our troubles wuZ
over. l supposed that when the Com
mon Council NV the Corners he'd ishOOd
Il currency based upon the good faith
NV the Corners, and he'd passed an Or
dinance maxim it legle tender, that
everything would go along smoothly,
and that the era of prosperity witch we
hav all been lOokin for wood immejitly
set it. But it don't work with a kuss.
We he'd expected to be relieved NV our
indebtednis to Pollock & Bigler, but
unfortunately them disturbers, with Il
foresite that is feendish, hev persistently
refOOsed the DemOcrisy NV the Corners
credit for many years, SO that we don't
owe them anything. And Pollock re-
marked vishusly that eff we did owe
him enything he wood ez soon tax pay
in fiat money ez enything else he wuz
likely to get from us, ez he never eX-
pected enything enyhOw. But we de-
sired to get even with him. | went into
his store and asked for a pare NV boots.
"All rite" sed Pollock, "wat kind NV
money do 700 perpose to pay in-the
glorious fiat Nv the present, or the de-
spised greenback NV the past %
''Sir," | remarkt impressively, 81 am
too patriotic not to assist in Citing OuI
new money into cirkelashun. l shell
pay in fiat NV wicb l hav plenty and
more Il COMM"
"All rite" sed Pollock, perdoosin a
little strip NV lether, ''them is the
boots"
"But they is not boots" I exclaimed.
"Wat kin l do with that strip nv leth-
er?n
''Jist ez much ez l kin with your
money. 700 say that peece of paper
700 hev is money! say that peece nv
lether is boots. My word is, ] trust, ez
good ez yoors."
And with ieendish laff he told Joe
Bigler to keep an eye on me and turned
around sellin substanshul boots to a
nigger farmer witch he'd nashnel bank
notes.
Sadly l went over to BascOm's and
found there the entire Corners discussin
the tinanshal sity.oashen. There wuZ
Deekin PogIam in his old familyer
chair; there wuz Issaker Il lyin Oh his
back on a round table that the citizens
play keerds upon, and Capt. M. Pelter
leanin against the bar, all sighin at the
scarsity NV money and the deprest
condishn Nv industry. 1t WIZ IL site
hev seed a thousand times, and it
meltid me. | determined to demon
strate that Their wuz one patriot that
would respeck the laws NV his native
place, and accept her currency.
"Gentlemen," sez, firmly, ''step up
Bascom, set 'em up"
BascOm he'd bin takin our money for
some days, and he'd bin to Louisville
for likker. He sot out the bottle with
sardOnic grin that BODIED us no good.
We each poured out the likker, how
ever, and placed the glasses to our re-
spective lips. Immejitly every man
spitted the likwid out upon the floor.
| turned sick, for l he'd incawshusly
swallered little Nv it.
1t wuz water! The first | he'd tasted
for years
"Wat does this mean, sir?" l de-
mandid feercely.
"DOn't 700 like the whisky ?" wuz his
anser, ez he glanced feercely at me.
Like it! Like it! why, its water ~
"Bless yOor SOLE" replied Rascom,
"why don't 700 sag its whisky9 The
mint you say its whisky it is whisky.
You say the paper you want to pay me
in is a dollar, jist becoz 700 say it is a
dollar, and why in bloody thunder can't
700 make whisky out of water by list
sayin its whisky? Gentlemen, this is
fiat whisky, and its the only kind kin
git with fiat money. When you git to
payin in the comfortable old greenback,
or the modest nickle, all rite. I'll give
700 the regular bowel scorcher But
the likker is gOin to assimilate to the
money. | learned that word in Louis
vii. Eff you want to pay in fiat money
yOor goin to git fat likker. Eff 700 kin
imagin a peece nv paper with yoor
stamp upon it is dollar, you must
likewise imagine this fiOoid to be good
likker, and vice versy. Parson, this is
all you will ever git with yoor kind NV
money"
And he leened back agin his bottles
with "A defiant air, and we sank back
terrified.
Where is the end to be? l don't
know. Oh, that Butler wood carry
MASSACHUSETTS, and git into power, SO
that his genius Good solve the problem
Eff Bascom repudiates the fiat money il
is all over here.
PETROLEUM V. Massey, Finanseer.