The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1878-03-07
THE DOCTORS.
4 GOOD story Told About Alexander
stephens aud Rub rOombs.

4 Good story Told About Alexander !
stephens aud RSb TOOmbs.
A doctor named Rovston had sued
Peter Bennett for his bill, long overdue,
for attending the wife of the latter. Alex. |
ii. Stephens was on the Bennett side, and
Robert Toombs, then senator of the
United States, was for DR.. Royston. The
doctor proved his number of visits, their
value according to local custom, and his
own authority to do medical practice
Mr.. Stephens told his client that the
physician hSd made out his case, and as
there was nothing wherein to rebuff or
Offset the claim, the only thing left to do
was to pay it. "No," said Peter, al
hired you to speak to my case, and now
speak"
Mr.. Stephens told him there was
nothing to say; he had looked on TO see
that it was made out, and it was.
Peter was obstinate, and at last Mr..
Stephens told him to make a speech
himself, if he thought one could be made.
"I WILL" said Peter Bennett. eff
Bobby Toombs WON'T be too hard on me-"
Senator TOombs promised, and Peter
began:
Gentlemen of the jury-You and I
is plain farmers, and if we don't stick to-
geiher these 'ere lawyers and doctors
will git the advantage of us. I amt no
| lawyer nor doctor, and / no amt objec-
tions to them in their proper place: but
| they amt farmers, gentlemen of the
jury. Now. this man Royston was new
! doctor, and l went for him to come an
to doctor my wife's sore leg. And he
come an put some salve truck onto
it and some rags, but it never done
it one Bit of good, gentlemen of the
jury. 1 don't believe he's no doc
tor, no way. There is doctors SIS is
| doctors, sure enough, but this man don't
| earn his money, and if you send for him,
as Mrs. Sarah Atkinson did, for a negro
boy as is worth 81 200, he just kills him
and wants pay for it -
6" dou'tl" thundered the doctor.
"Did you cure him? p asked Peter
with the slow accents of judge with
| black cap on.
The doctor was silent, and Peter pro-
ceeded:
AS 1 was saying, gentlemen of the
! jury, we farmers when we sell our cotton
has got to give vally for the money we
ask, ard doctors amt none too good to be
put to the same rule. And don't
believe this Sam. Roystor is no doctor,
nohow."
The physician again put in his roar,
with q Look at my diploma if you think
l am no doctor"
chs diploma! 10 exclaimed the new
fedged orator with contempt. d" His
| diploma? Gentlemen, that is big word
for pIiated sheepskin, and it didn't make
no doctor of the sheep as first wore it,
nor does it of the man as now carries it.
! A good newspaper has more in it, and Phi
| pint out to ye that he amt no doctor at
all"
The man of medicine was now in a
fury, and screamed out, "ask my pa
| tients if l am not a doctor?"
al asked my wife," retorted Peter,
an size said as how she thought you
wasn't"
"Ask my other PATIENTS" said DR..
Royston.
This seemed to be the straw that broke
the camePs back, for Peter replied with
a look and tone of unutterable sadness.
''That is hard sayin', gentlemen OF
the Jury, and one that requires me to die
or to have powers as I've hearn tell
ceased TO be exercised since the apostles
Does he expect me to bring the angel
Gabriel down to tOot his horn before his
time and cry aloud: Awake, ye dead,
and tell this court and jury your opinion
of RoystOn's practice? Am l to go to
the lonely graveyard and rap on the 81
lent tomb, and say to 'em as is at rest
from physic and doctors bills, Get up
here, you, and state if you died natural
death, or was hurried up some by
doctors?, He says asks his patients,
and gentleman of the jury, they're all
dead Where is Mrs. Beazly's man
Sam? Go ask the worms in the grave
yard where he lies. Mrs, Peak s
woman Sarah was attended by him, and
her funeral was appintcd and he had
the corpse ready. Where is that likely
Bill as belonged to Mr.. Mitchell? Now
in glory a expressin' his opinion OF
RoystOn's dcctOrin'. Where is that baby
gal OF Harry Stephens? She are where
doctors cease from trouhlin' and infants
are at rest.
"Gentlemen of the jury, he has ct
chicken enough at my house to pay fol
his salve, and / furnished the rags, and I
don't suppose he charges me for maxim
her worse, and he even don't pretend to
charge for curin' of her, and ] am hum
bly, thankful that he never give her
nothin' for her inwards, as he did his
other patients, for s0methin' made 'em
die mighty sudden"
Here the applause made the speaker
sit down in great confusion, and in spite
OF a logical restatement of the case by
Senator Toombs, the doctorlost and Peter
| Bennett won.