The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1878-06-21
n o. /
SIFTFNGs.

:, sold him washing.machine for . 3D.
: press Forester Press.
= W hat constitutes marriage ?" asks i
d Boston 4d0ertiser. Getting down to o,
: cigar day in order to pour mo0ev n
the Golfers of the man who sells str;n.
stockings. =
!. There are now seventy-two postmistre
ses in the United States, one Of WHOM
MSS Nina Hodges, in the Des Moine
Postotfice, is.said to have handled a.
paid out 100000
! Worth thinks every dress OUGHT to ba,,
some expression . and we Bave.not;aa
It usually is 50, the wifesexelaiminp. "ss
how loyely!' and the husband: "Wbat
-$l75!-Jerusalemp'
"hy dear" said husband, in start1in,
tones, after waking his wife in the n;abt
! : = nave swallowed dose of strychnine |,
Well, then, do for goodness sake liz st;Il
or it may come up
oH hng1lsh musical journal says thai
hfteen per cent of the inmates Of lnpat;e
asyi"ms are musicians and singers, but j,
neglects to state how many ofthe remain.
ing elghty-hve per cent. were driven mad
By the practising Of the former.
A woman in Fairfield, Ne, has a growth
OF natural hair eight feet and one inch
long, and has refused $1,000 for it. Her
i[lshds claim that she has the longest hair
OF any woman in the world, but the re-
Rarns are not all in yet.
It the marriage service conll onln i.
modified and amended as to ipclade tio
of the morning fires amone the
other Obligations assumed by the bride.
mere wouldn't be SO many old bachelors
jaoohg their fingers with darnin5 needles
and shiyersng around IN the cold.
lhe seventh article in the will of 1ata
o'tlzen OF New Orleans reads: "Wbereas
@fseems that my son John seems inclined
o play poker, which is a dangerous came
o tinker with, unless j 4 know what Won
ire IRE DONG therefore ] leave my son John |
SO GOO, that he may gofo Halifax. N. q +
md learn how e. play the came.
he happy hunting grounds. THEY would
ave killed his widow, bnt as she was old
md ugly they came to the conelusioa that /
f he could not find a younger and prettief
me IN his new home, he had better go il
alone.
Major Pitcairn, British officer at Cen
cord and Lexington, was ajoker-mayhap |
4 sauey one. Among the relics of the old |
Christ church at Boston is an aneientsing-
ing book, on the fy-leaf Of which is writ
ten:-E Major Pitcairn 5 compliment to the
head singer, with the request that she will
not sing quite 50 loudly, as it is impossible
for him to Sleep
A Libby's Corner vt man stole fat
rooster from his neighbor's barn the other
night and had It cooked for next days
dinner, but while the family were seated
around the table, eager to discuss the fowl,
the owner rushed in, seized the platter.
with the smoking bird upon it, and carried
it home to his own table, much to the sur
prise of the expeetant family Of the thief.
He'd been driving the dasher yiso~o IS
" for an hour, and yet the butter wouldn't
''come." He softly laid down the article
and was creeping quietly Out Of doors,
when Watcbful mother swooped down on
him and harnessed him anew to his tasl:,
relnarking very pointedly, that Gone good
ehurn deserves another. -Roctla,td Cour-
ier.
A gentlemen who is a sculptor, in a
feeble way, was calling on lady the Other
evening "HuW 60 you manage to get the
right facial expression 2" she asked, re
ferring to his statuettes. "VerY simple
he said; Il read poem expressing the
passion I-desire to portray; plunge head
foremost into mass Of putty ! have q
hand. This retains the impression, ane
there you are"
There is no worse occupation for al
earnest physician than to listen to the som
plants Of people who pretend to be IL
/ Dr., who was called BY one Of hi
patients for nothing, about once q, week
ended BY inquiring: 'Then yen eat. welI2
yes" ~ GU drink well?" ~ Yes.'"!Yo
deep welf?'' Certainly. Wonderful,
said tie doctor as he prepared to write
prescription. 4 am going to give 20
something that will put q stop to all-sthat.
An uptown retired builder, who expert
ences great satisfaction in dwelling npo
The fact that he IS q @self-made man,
given topokiag sticks II ht and left wit
out regard % poIiteness or propriety. III
other day, IN q crowded store, be CON
: neneed baatering u ane'er-do-well of.doub
! fuI. anteeedents, who drifted into tow
: Ksome years ago, winding mp his remarks /