Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1878-01-26

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chors ga his let ;u hold himself do~n-
TuE Pfrsiden, has about made up hi>
mind that IL Is impossible for the tail Il"
wag the dog. lIei. growing very weary
CsPrAIN KIDD. VIM buried all h>
money ~ the ground. may he considered
the originator Of the post hole savings
bank.
The President thinks of investing in II
telephone. hnpiny 10 catch tc~ faint
sound waves from the old line Wings of
the south.
Will. the man who struck Billy Pat
tersOn please step forward and hit the
Senator the awfuilesf swipe he has i'll the
shop, and no questions asked!
A CINCINNATI bridegroom, two days
after the wedding, lHrruped his bride with
a halter strap. We suppose he thought
that was the next thing after the bride
veil.
AFTER Turk has walked backward
up about eleven feet OF Cossnck lance
he begins to understand, even il he
doesn't appreciate, the music OF the
spears.
THE Indians have added new codi-
Gil to their demand for ulster overcOats.
They say they will have helmet hats, or
they take the war path rs soon as the
grass grows.
A BABY has been born in Selma, Ala
bama. with n back bone SO much longer
than is necessary that it can wag the end
of it. Mr.. Darwin! Mr.. Darwin! Hi,
there; quick, Mr.. Darwin!!!
THE foudness for perfumes may pos
sibly be accounted for ON the ground that
the musk.rat belongs to the same genus
as the autoc.ra And yet we admit this
supposition may be fur-fetchcd.
OYSTERS as large as porter house
steaks are now shipped from New York
for the western market, and the citizens of
the prairies eat the bivalves with vague
misgivnys and wonder how aud OF what
they are made.
In writing to renew his subscription
to the HAwKEYE the other day, MIR. Tllden
made the pathetic remark that all the
woes of life seem tohave fallen upon him
at once, and he might as we'll get mar
ried now as not.
"No girl ever shot herself because she
was in love with Mark Twain.'-New
York Herald. perhaps no girl ever set
her CAP for him. See the percus.iun!'--
Louisville Couricr-Journdi.
Tub, sure.
THE age of superstition has not yet
passed away. A Burlington boy came
home from school the other day,and seat
ing himself gingerly on the edge of II
chair, said he didn't want to 20 to school
any more, on account of the teachers
switches.