The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1878-08-30

THE Breakfast Table thinks trade n
looking up, because it's fat on its back.
A fair Nebraska maiden spent two
hours, circus, trying 10 get bushel OF
feet into peck Of Shoes.
In the way of worship in hot weather,
a man thinks he Is doing well'enough
when he allows his vile TO 60 TO oburch.
A CHICAGO critic, on being -shewn 4
landscape, said: ayes. it smells like
painting" The artist dropped The cur
| tsir.
LADY (giving an apple 10 little boy):
"Give this apple to one OF us three here
whom you think the handsomest.n The
boy looked for moment at all three
ladies, took the apple and-ate it.
KAEKAKEE, H., has a justice who
beats them all in matrimonial splicing
with neatness and dispatch. This IS
sbout the formula: "IIave 'er y yes. :
'sHave i'm 2' Eyes" "Married. 81"
CIssY--aPa's going Il, bring us home
something tonight; ] wonder what 1t
will be % Tommy Yes, but suppose
he doesn't see anything Cissy-"Oh,
then he will bring something else, OF
course"
"What are YOU abOut7" angrily ex-
claimed country editor the other day
to his wife, who was touching up her
complexion before the mirror Only
getting up my 'patent outside dear o
was the reply.
"THANK heaven" said tormented
passenger "there are no newsboys In
heaven" "No," replied the newsboy,
"but what comfort do you find in thatY'
The man didn't say, and everybody else
looked pleased.
A MAN ought TO be too selfrespectful
to do a mean thing Religion aside.
honor that is high.toncd, Gnduprightness
that can't be made 10 bulge by threat
or bribe are qualities of character which,
I make their Posse~sor snyiabie.
b A foun6 man apy led for The position
of humorous paTagrapher on new paper,
; and, when asked what qualification he
2 possessed for the duties, ne replied that
! he was born on all-fools' day, and suffered
) great deal with the toothache He
6 got it.
Q The practice of filing up the holes Of
= mill stones with a mixture Of lead and
n glycerine has resulted in producing So
3 Tious cases OF lead-poisining in some
4 places in France, Norway and England.
5 The French have prohibited the use OF
. lead in that way.
q A YOUNG man writes us asking IL he
a can get a position as leader OF n flute
a band in our town. When our town be-
u comes afflicted with such a band we shall
endeavor TO secure our correspondent
p the position TO lead tito lead il about
IS forty-seyen thousand miles out of town.
% Norristown Herald
~ DIR, John p. Gray, in the American
n Journal of Insanity, disputes the popu-
"A lar opinion that suicide is always an in
70 sane act He admits that it is always
I8 an unnatural act. but in the large ma
" jority of cases he thinks that il is COM
~ mitted by sane persons. A deficiency
N of moral education, rather than mental
10 arrangement, is the occasion of most
10 auicides.
% THE lamented X. left a charming
M widow and a daughter who grew up TO
a. be even more charming. She grew up
"a with fearful rapidity, too, especially from
73 her mothers point of view. Why,
Florence, what big girl you
GA are getting 10 be- How old are you p
20 said, one day, an old friend OF the family.
ge0O "Fifteen and halt almost" replied
~ the girl; "but don't let ma know"
40 SOME of the "poor white" families Of
90 the far west become exceedingly tough
As 4o ened by their exposures and hardships.
N A lady travelling among them took shelter
O0 in hut during a rain storm, and one OF
O0 the barefooted daughters of the family
100 coming in, who had been hunting for the
100 cows, stood on the hearth to dry her
700 clothes, to whom tho mother said: "Sal,
~ there's live coal under your foot y
w The girl, whose sOles were as hard az
horn, merely turned her head and drawled
% out, (Which foot, mammy|
20 At Autun, France, recently, the sub
90 station master Of the Creuzet Station
q was picked M in convulsions and foam
- ing at the mouth. He exclaimed, "Bind
55 me tight; a mad dog has bitton me and
W am mad myself" He was tied as de.
70 sired and taken TO the hospital, where
% several surgeons, military and civil
)t watched the case. They found a scar on
ie one hand from dog bite. The scar waf
,, three months old They csme TO the
al conclusion that he had not hydrOphobia,
sr but that his mind had been affected by
:, accounts recently published.
= Down in San Bernardino the heathen
. has been. indulging in his ways that are
= = dark He keeps store there. On a
recent day he went about town, buying
: up all the rice he could, and some OF the
> grocerymen thought they had struck 4
- pretty good thing in selling out their
, stock at profit. When they attempted
:, to replace il, however, they found that
:, owing TO the drought in China. rice had
, advanced $3.50 per sack, and John had
a corner in rice. They were compelled
TO pay an advance on what they had sold
for The grOcers of San Bernardino are
now willing to admit that "the Chinese
. must CO., San Francisco Paper.