The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1878-06-19
The Troublesgoi a Poet.

Argus, was sitting IN his otilce one
day, a man whose brow was clothed
withthunder entered Fiarcely seiz.
ing a chair, he slammed his hat on
the table, hurled his umbrella on the
floor, and sat down..
care you the edit0r?" he asked.
"Yes."
"can you read writiog2'
"Of course
'Read that, thon,s be said, thrust
ing at the Colonel an!enyelope with
an inscription on its
"B-" said the Colonel, trying tc
spell it.
"That's not aB. IT'S an S" said
the man.
IS, oh yes; seel Well, the words
look a little like salt for Dinner
or "souls of Sinners" said the Colon
ell.
"No, sir" replied the man, "noth.
ing of the kind That's my name,
Samuel H. Brunneri ! knew you
couldn't read. I called to see you
about that poem of mine you printed
the other day, on the "surcease Of
Sorrow"
q don't remember it," said the
Colonel.
"of course you don't, because it
went into the paper under the title
of "Smearcaso Tomorrow"
"a stupid blundcr Of the compost.
tors, | suppose"
Yes, sir and that's what l want
to see you about. tfl'fie way iuwhtct
that peom was mutilated was simply
scandalous. Haven't slept a night
since. 1t exposed me to derision.-
People think am an ass. Let me
show you"
"Go ahead" said the Colonel.
"The first line, when | wrote it
read in this way:
Lying by weeping willow, underneath
gentle slope.
That is beautiful, poetic, affecting
Now how did your vile sheet present
it to the public? There it is! Look
at it! Made it read this way:
Lying to a weeping widow to induce her
to elope.
Weeping widow, mind you'll A
widow! Oh, thunder and lightning
This is too muchl It's enough tc
drive man crazy.
"Im sorry," said the Colonel, but
"But look a-here ut the fourth
verse;" said the poet. That's worse
yet. What | said was:
Cast thy pearls before the swine and lose
them in the dirt,
| wrote that out clearly and dis
timely, in a plain, round hand. Now,
what does your compositor do? Does
he catch the sense of that beautiful
sentiment? Does it sink into his
soul? No, sirl He sets it up in this
fashion. Listen:
Cart my pills before the sunrise, and love
them il they hurt.
Now, isn't that a cold-blooded out
rage on u mans feolingsH Ill leave
it to you if it is not2
"It's hard, that's u fact" said the
Colonel,
"And then take the fifth verse;
In the original manuscript it said as
plain as daylight:
Take away the iingling money, it is only
glittoring drossl
A man with only one eye, and u
cataract over that, could have read
the words correctly, But yourpirate
upstairs there-do you know what
he did2 He made it read;
Take away thy ieOring monkeys on sorely
glandered hoss!
By george, l felt like Draining him
with fire shovel! l was never sc
cut up in my life"
at was natural, too said the Col
onel,
"Thero, for instance, was thosixth
verse, | wrote;
am weary OF TIE tossing Of the ocean Us
II heaves.
1t is n lovely line, too; but imagine
my horror, and the anguish of my
family, when l opened your paper
and saw the line transformed into;
l am wearing out my trowscrs till they're
open at the kneesl
That is a little too much! That |,
a little too muchl That seems TO me
like carrying the thing an inch oI
| two too far. | think | have a consli