The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1878-12-17
NUTS.
Easy to Crack and Chuck Full OF
Meat
But Look Out Where You Throw
tho Shells.

'h-V n iIeishi, ooth I'D Improve thtr
speech AMI good sense. Here is q case in
point:
SINE time -incc one ii the b.ighte-, AMI
xii.,,st 81 CInrIEn.ii'> girls went abroad
and when sh. returned bone about the tir-t
person io congratulate her upon ,..r sale re-
,grn vas b, youus blood .: the city
whose dollars exceeded hi. sense in the
ratio at :e,,uj million and one.
law, Nj, "" hr said ";efn,i' RE To
greet you. ] know ,ou have hal =, very
pleasant trip abroad"
YES" she answered, every pleasant in
deed. | was all OVER thu Gourmet ard
ihrougi. En-!sri. Scotland aud Ireland!
'Ah, ia Ireland, aud dii y"u See the
Blarney stone?
YES. l was there"
'Oi,. l shosIii ~ delight to see IL. II has
Away been \ desire I'll mine to ki-s tina.
celebrated stone, bu; have never had an
Opportunity"
.Indesd. then YOU should 20 there"
IL knox. hut / have not d,ne 49,. bui whv
shouldn't kiss il by proxy. Io. have
usen Their aud kissed il, why -h",.,i n",
take the Influence al the Blsrnsy isom
y"ur iip-"-.nd the smart Al,ck stepped
ioIsard Io proxiiv the young lady. Bi.
sac DIE. p.ck. AMI locking him sqj.sr-iy
in the face. srid. Il i'g your ptr';1n, nv
,ie,- NJ. B, cut sn uy0n the bi,rcey
stone" Like man with gr,st sorrow.
b sank d..wu VA heap. and h- HASH I
laid "lr-lanu" since, aud the very word
';5isrney" makes him d-iriou-.
Scure one for incirna;i.
So the old Woman Is on her travels
sga;n. This ;ime -Le turns up a, Little
Rock, With her nose pointed this way:
Y--lerday evening y paSser hy noticed 4
woman standing ut the corner OF Main ami
Fourth streets. She vote an old sun bon
net aud her dress indicated a,ivsr-ity. A
gentleman. moved by the spirit eli charity,
/ approached her and asked:
Are Won als'nv ~
Eyes"
i "im distress
"Ye-.'
"Iiave YOU applied to the au,hori,iese'
. Yes"
/; Wont they help yon?'
! The chief Of police said he would do al
lac r,,u!d to he!P ms"
"Have you 4 family.
"Yes"
/ where,
: "T-xar."
/ How long have ycu been in Li;tls
Rock?
.eint here this afternoon"
"What il the nature of yonr di-'.ess?'
: "Why, n conioIn,ied felton, down IN
I Texas fool. d NV daughter, stole my nut,
+ md c,n. IN this town. ! don't mind hI-
foOiing Maria 90 much, bat the thoagh'
that he's got that male goes through me
/ Ike dsrnin needle"
} The man let nick!e fall back in In,
pocket and -,roli-d away.
i There il one mnn YOU cant 10! when
there il prospect for drink abe ID, ane
that Is old Dutch Jake He knox his be
loved whenever he hears her rs,ti-, though
vod NAV call her any other name. DID
Jake went TO work for Jones the otherd,y
and shortly a:ierwayj he came on, Of Jone-
cellar and wiped hi. mouth and said:
I II like me rot 80 n,"Hh T.. u"
dsnp'rancs peezness. Ven ] york Nv oil
, IN .n Chone-. he d,lks m-ny dimes oui do-s
foolish d,ng- Ven dry hear Mas. CLono.
sew, .Soo-,r, rrIpg Mr. ChCnc- -onse h III
! water uni sugar Dan dink, vot for :
rur:1t- ,iin.> j. dose? Meier hear >uci, a
ding like dot. Pv-und py. Ven vas TX py
, der fuTnsce ,lnsn cel;er IN de winter, Ms
( Chone> she say again, 'Socsan. bring Mr.
Chon.s some hardt water md sugar M
I i.ak sne sonisdin.s. und ! watch. Cad
py-un.l-py see Sonsan g"om out q leedls
cuppari, ir n DIRK CORNER. und ven shs
. unlock the dbor, she get p!ack polite
md hour oui some vot she got in a glass
Ono, drinks nit mineself, dI-s il some
/ al desc demp'ranz h,rd wafer. i d'nk g 4
/ me some 81 dot hard: water und sugar ~
. INV own seluf. Una ven 90, the ke,,und
( I shm.II Nv DIT piack polite, ! hate vel
/ an; h.rit water vo< DE- heat prsndy vor
.rc in NV Whole life. Cnd ven old Chone,
/ ne tel NE some of dos. nice dsmp'rar,
d;ngs ag in. wink w my left eye. UNI
tell him like dot .iemp'rsnz hard vstel
und sugar nv oxn seinf efery dime"
There j. a heap in cards, AMI also in t!.'
way you play EN-. They tell this story q
= rich gaU.e ont IN Reno:
! 4 R-no,,e. corrupted by a recen, visit q
Bndir. IL running his soul w the relst,or
u
Jack, - Bosiietn gambler. and a clergyman
81 tine place. The person was a>kih. !oI
subscriptions looking tn the erection Il q
church Tor the ornsmenistion of the Bodis
/ landscape. and inferred a saloon, where ih.
gambler Wa seated nj a table. stirring q
he, whisky The parsOn hsiled him il
this STYLE
/ MR.. jack, Won are an ungodly man, bu;
] hrii-ve generous man. vii! you con
tribute something 20 the erection OF 8
church in our mi,i., ~
! The cumbersome one thought deeply iol
a time, consumed half his punch, and M 81,
reply:
I I'm tell you what I'll 40. parson. YOU
were cne ii the boys once. I've bon told
>up,os- ~e play a game ~ sevep-up to see
wheih,r give you SO or nothing -
/ \ light burn oi the recolleclions 81 Other
DAYS glcamsd M the eyes of the holy man
and he lifted Mp his voice and cried Alou,!
! 1T. a whack!
/ They SIT them dawn. these two. the god
" man anil the sinful man. and cut fol
deal. The parson won, and u'ned ny &
ij,ek.
"C,u.t one Tor the Lord" spoke the par
son. and Cherokee begged.
: 'iIi give YIN one" sAid bis reverence.
I Il, goes" said Jack.
"And that makes ore for the devil.
qnoih I'll. pars..n. Bat behold. when at the
~nd III O.; . deal he took account 81 thai
which had came into his net, he spakc:
/ "Iiigh. low md the game. added io INV
friend. the j,ck, scores four times for the
Lori"
; Pm hnsking agin a game that the de
vil can't help fellow in" COMPLAIN d
Cherokee. ~ the psrson scored three on the
next de,l and wrat ont. "When the felis,
yon'rr pl,yin' with pn,s the prsyer hooaco.
an the kser,ls." he added, ~ he handed oveI
the so, There amt no show for such Al
me-"
H E A D Gu ART e 3 81