Smyrna times., 1878-01-23
Bill and the Widow.
THE MOST LAUGHABLE STORY OF THE AGE.

"Wife," said Ed. Wilbur one morning as
he sat stirring his coffee with one hand
and holding plum cake on his knee with
the other, and looked across the table into
the bright eyes Of his little wife, "wouldn't
it be a good joke to get bachelor Bill
Smiley to take widow Watson to Barnum's
show next week ~
"You can't do it, Ed. he won't ask her,
he's so awful shy. Why he came by here
the other morning when | was hanging out
the clothes, and he looked over the fence
and spoke, but when l shook out night
gown he blushed like a girl and went
away.
~ think 1 can manage it," said Ed,
"but I'll have to lie just little. But then
it wouldn't be much harm under the cir
cunlstances, for | know she likes him, and
he don't dislike her, but just as you say,
he's so shy. I'll just go over to his place to
borrow some bags of him, and if | don't
bag him before come back, don't kiss me
for week to come, Mel"
So saying, Ed. started, and while he is
moving the fields we will take look at
Bill Smiley.
He was rather a good looking fellow,
though his hair and whiskers showed some
gray hairs, and he had got in set of false
teeth. But every one said he was good
soul, and SO he was. He had as good a
hundred-acre farm as any in Norwich, with
new house and everything comfortable,
and if he had wanted a wife, many girl
would have jumped at the chance like a
rooster on grass.hopper.
But Bill was so bashful-always was
and when Susan Sherrybottle, whom he
was SO sweet on, though he never said
''boo" to her, got married to old Watson,
he just drew his head in like mud-turtle
into his shell, and there was no getting
him out again, though it had been noticed
that since Susan had been a widow he paid
more attention to, his clothes, and had
been very regular in his attendance at the
church the fair widow attended.
But here comes Ed. Wilbur.
"Good morning. Mr.. Smiley"
"Good morning, Mr.. Wilbur, what's the
news your way?'
ooh, nothing particular that l know
of" said Ed., "only Barnum's show, that
everybody is talking about, and everybody
and his girl are going to. was over to old
Sockrider's last night, and see his son Gu
has got a new buggy, and was rubbing VI
his harness and he's got that white faced
colt of his as slick as a seal. ] understand
he thinks Of taking widow Watson to tn
show. He's been hanging around there
good deal of late, but I'd just like to Gu
him out, / would. Susan is nice littl
woman, and deserves a better man tha
that young pup of fellow, though
would not blame her much if she take
him, for she must be dreadfully lonesome
and then she has to let her farm out o
shares, and it isn't half worked, and no on
else seems to have the spunk to speak u
to her. By jingo, if was single man, l.
show you trick or two.'
So saying, Ed. borrowed some bags an,
starting around the corner of the barr
where he had left Bill sweeping, and pl
his ear to knot hole and listened, kno,
ing the bachelor had habit of speakr
to himself when anything worried him.
"Confound that young bagriderr' sa
Bill; "what business has he there, I'd iii
to know? Got a new buggy, has h,
Well, SO have /, and a new set of harne'
too; and his horse can't get sight of min
and declare I've half mind to--yes,
will I'll 60 this very night and ask her
60 to the show with me. I'll show Z
Wilbur that amt such calf as he thin
i am, if did let old Watson get the sta
of me in the first placer
Ed. could scarce help laughing outrigh
but he hastily hitched the bags on
shoulder, and with low chuckle at
success, started home to tell the news