Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-12-12
HUni0r.

Allowing the ''blues" to master YOU
Is azure way OF cutting your life short.
Ed.
Motto for oil we'll borers: Don't
strike oil until it is down-untilt the we'll
is down. we Yonkers Gazette.
Having hired Hall, the New York
World will now he heard to better adj
vantage, perhaps.-Befalo Express.
Chin Ian Pin is becoming American
shall roast his Turkey with the feathers
on.-B0Ston Post
Horrors on Horace's head accumu-
late" Exclaimed Horace's mother as
she laid down the fine comb in despair.
Boston transcript.
Don't liquor" is the advice we give
the husband who abuses his wife.-Rey-
holds Herald.
Try not that pass the old man said,
But Johnny Bul went right ahead.
England is happy again, trouncing
boy right at Russia's back door.-Tw-
aer's Falls Reporter.
The man who pays in advance cannot
be trusted. Let this be a Warming
Ne'g Orleans Picayune.
Ayoung lady who has young man
keeping company" with her, who is
employed ina telegraph Office, calls him
the electric spark" -Boston Adue9tiser
What the ameer thinks might come
ofadmitting an English Envoy las he
put it in his broken English cam ERE
to-day, might be gone Tomorrow
Punch.
The best anti-fatremedy we know of
is trying to carve up chunk of hard
WOOD with Ratchet that was originally
cut out for a hammer. Elnaira Gazette
1t takes the average women three
minutes to buy postrge stamp and lick
1t on, while it takes the average man
only tifty-seven seconds. Please think
of these things.-DetrOI Free Press.
Some of our exchanges are printing
long articles about wax-producing trees.
But, strangely enough, they omit to
mention the birc h, which has produced
more whacks than any other Variety
Boston Transcript
A new invention ii phosphorescent
paper, by means of which writing can
be read in the dark. 1t is recommended
by spring poets, who sigh for words that
burn.-NeaO Orleans Picay,tne.
A cats eyes are said to be the largest
at midnight. We never made an ex-
animation, but we are positive that its
voice is about seventeen times larger
at that hour than at any other period
during the twenty-four.-No7rist0avn Her
aid.
Take it home to yourself" is a mot
to that most people need to study. 1t
Is plain enough, and yet few people
seem to comprehend the meaning.
About the only persons who act upon
1t are those who make midnight visits
to hen-rOosts.- Sentinel.
"Give me q cure for the toothache.
Quick Sufferer" Place the aching
tooth near the heels of mule, and
then touch off the mule. One touch of
mule sets all nature achin, and relieves
the patient too Immediately sudden to
think about.-Ke0kuk Constitution.
The shadow of crime which has rest
ed SO heavily upon Connecticut was
lifted somewhat few days ago, when
seventeen Connecticut boosters COM
pletely whipped seventeen New York
roosters-killing the most of them, we
are delighted to Notwithstanding
NeauS
"What!" said a young lady to a sister
companion, "you are not going to marry
that tall, lean, slender, consumptive-
stricken fellow, are you?" eyes, she
is, volunteered the young lady's little
brother, looking up from his broken
cart-wheel; ''she's going to marry him
and use him for carpet-stretcherW
The boy and the cartwheel passed out
through the same door.
''The sneak-thiet came down like wolf on the
fold,
While the folks in the basement were dining,
''And took from the rack a coat scarce three days
old,
Quite respondent with fine satin lining
Utterly ignoring the one left over from
last year, which Mr.. Smiley had brought
down, intending to sell it for 50 to the
first old-clothes man that CHANGED
around.-Puck.