Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1878-05-10
Dodgeville to be Re-Chartered.

Dodgeyille has been village ever
since anybody lived in it, and the
reason why it never grew any bigger,
was that its charter was too little.
The charter was always too small
across the back, too tight under the
arms, too low in the neck, and didn't
set well in front. The people have
been squirming and wheeling and
smothering for years, because they
were cranped up so with a small
charter, and in their convulsions for
relief they have strained the seams,
split the lining, tore off the buttons,
aud were just on the point Of perpe-
trating an ugly rip in the cloth cross
wise, when the trustees became pos
sessed OF an inspiration a few nights
ago, that they would open the charter
in the back and put III a new back
piece. and make it double breasted
with two rows of buttons, stand-up
collar, and put straps and buckles to
the buttons to guard against future
shrinkage.
The village attorney was app ointed
to make IN incision in that position of
the old charter which is not in front,
for the purpose Of the trepanning
operation, and early last week he had
the wound laid bare and ready for the
patchwork. He procured an old copy
shot gun and fired it off at u whirl-
wind, and the village clerk followed
in the direction Of the charge. armed
with seven market baskets and
eighteen hayerSacks to gather up the
fragments. He returned in five DAYS
with his vessels AL filled with multi
ated chapters, exploded titles, and odd
sections, and Immediately issued a
proclamation, that the people, Oh the
l4th day OF May. would have an OPP
portunity Of making u poultice Of the
hotcl-pot to apply to the lacerated
chartcr, now lying bleeding and help
less at the feet of the village surgical
attorney and legll acconcheur. The
operation will be performed by ballot,
and the form Of the ballot will be:
For poulticing the village chatter
with the statutes" or Against pDul-
ticing the statutes with the village
charter"
If there is no fraud or in timidation
at the election, the probability is, that
after that date the village charter will
90 walking about with the revised
statutes stick ng to the seat OF its
breeches, the Declaration of Indepen-
dence under one arm. tie Ordinance of
1887 under the other, and holding the
various constitutions and treaties
between its teeth, and the village of
Dodgeville will suddenly burst into
notoriety. and assume standard
among the nations Of the earth, and
be represented IN the European con-
gress for the settlement Of the Eastern
question:.
The old charter and ordinances have
stood SO long THAT I'LL have learned
what they are and know how to OBJ
serve and avoid them; and the con-
sequence is, there is nothing for the
police Justice to do. and business Is
duh with him, and this proposition TO
amend the charter il all in the in
terests Of trade; for when they get
the loaferS and street corner corps Oh
new ground. there will he Il rush OF
business for tile first quarter, and the
new business will set the police JUS
tioe on his feet again ready for the
fall trade Under the old charter the
village authorities are restricted and
DO not possess power requisite for
complete government but under the
new charter, if adopted they will he
clothed with plenary power for all
possible emergencies.
Under the new charter they will be
empow cred to prevent horses and
cattle from running 1T large, except
in the winter time when feed il scarce
and farmers teams are plenty Oh the
streets; to restain ducks, geese and
chickens from roosting on the town
pump without first having obtained
license; 70 prevent mules from occu-
pying = position within 10 feet IF i
sidewalk unless they have muzllps Oh
their heels; to restraindoss from bark
ing ut married men on vacant lotsaf.er
IL at night; 70 protect lumber wa,ons
standing on crossings IN muddy
weather; to provide for taking hogs