West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-04-27
IuE doctor and a nervous man
VIII never have two crccds;
For the former needs his patients,
Aud the latter paticuCA needs.
.. a ~.

An Indiana editor has discovered that
quiet women are feared more than those
who bristlc around and make n big noise
Paste that ON the mirror Cincinnati
Brc0kfaSt Tdbic
CoNTRIBUToRs will take notice that
we have already more spring poetry than
we need. What we want is liniment
that is dead certainty on rheumatism.
Rome Sentinel.
THE proprietor of the Palmer House,
in Chicago, has vegetable garden on
the roof of his hotel, and when guests
demand rooms near the ground he slows
them away in the attic without single
twingc of conscience ~ d. Picdyune.
"MA, are we canibals 2' asked n little
Eighth-strcct girl of her mother the
other morning. "Why, my child, what
do you mcanY Oh, nothing. only
heard you say TO Bridget, Boy legs for
breakfast - Cincinnati Saturday Mint.
No matter how Thoroughly you clean
the house, the wife of the next man
who moves in will declare il is not fit
for hogs to live in, and will slop suds
around over every thing trying TO make
1T fit for hogs To live in.-ROme Sentinel.
"a VACUUM would be the best place
for a fellow to fall into, wouldn't il.
Bill2 for then, you know, he wouldn't
fall against anything" Yes, he
would, though" stoutly answered Bill
che would fall against his inclination"
WHEN the recording angel observes
minister of the gospel holding nail
between his fingers while he misses il
with hammer, the Trustworthy scribe
drops into n brown study and pretends
not to hear anything. Turner's FdH
Reporter.
In the Spring the young mans fancy
Lightly turns 10 thoughb of--What7
Aud tho first who darcs ~ answer
VIII bc shooCd on the spot
Worce,fer Prem
Get your shooting Iron ready
We are tired of worldly tolls
In the Spring the young mans fancy,
Turns 10 end cure Tor boils
Fulton times
A RENSSELAER, Und.) clerk mcsmer-
lied n scrvant-Rirl, and no one could get
her tO her senses again for twenty-fOur
hours. When she came TO she told the
astonishod spectators she had "heard
all they said, but was unable TO do any
thing" The same old trouble Every
servant-girl is subject TO it-Rochtster
Dcmocrn.
How is this? Professor J. s. New
berry charges dollar admission 10
lecture in which he says he don't know
where men come from. Colonel Inger-
sol, on the other hand, charges seventy
five cents admission 10 lecture in
which he tells us he don't know where
we are going TO. VIII some savant have
the kindness too tell us where we are p
Mem Y0rk Grdphic.
WHAT a blessing the phonograph will
be 10 editors! The bores can slip right
into the phonograph room, and plead
with the instruments, and the editor
can grind it all out aftcrwards-if he
wants to.-Bostoa TranscrpL
The line
"Twsddle Ike a bum ON some late spree"
In our poem Of last Saturday, should
have read
"TwitIer like bird on some lone spray
a GUSHING love letter picked up i'm
the street the other day contains the
following My Deer Henry en-
brace the present opporschoonity to let
you knOugh as how ] am, had a spell Of
the aiRu, and hope theasc fla lines may
find you enjoying the same blessu, why
don't yu only rite q swcate line 10 tell
yOic suiierin Kathurn all about her pret-
ty Henry oh my Sweate Henry-my
turtle dove-my plying my deer, deare
Henry-hOw my poor sole 4. longing for
yore sweate voice, do KUN and lets get
marrud" "- D0HyWc IdrcrtiSer
CAPTAIy Ayrcs Lcforgcc, 81 Fleming
County (ky.) pioneer and veteran OF
the Mexican war, denies the oft-rcpeated
story, that Colonel johnson killed
Tecumsch," and says emphatically that
he did not kill him, but that one David
GOOding did, and that he carried his
" skelp" home with him, keeping and
exhibiting j. for several yeurs as tro-
ply and that it was finally lost by an
accident the wind blew IL out Of the
wind W, and before me could rescue IL
the dog. tore it to ces.--Fiemingsbvrg
Dem0cr0i
PREsERvE theprivacies of your house,
marriage state heart from father
mother, sister brother, aunt. and all the
world. You two, with Gods help, build
your own quiet world, every third or
fourth ono you draw into 1t with you
will form party, and stand between
you two. ThatshOuld never be. Promise
this TO each other. Renew the VOW at
each temptation you will find your ac-
count in 10. Your souls will grow, a- il
were, together, and at last they viii be
come az one. All. IL many young pair
had on their wedding day known this
secret, how many marriages were happier