Litchfield enquirer., 1878-05-16
CLIPPINGS.

No bird is actually onthe wing. The wings are on the bird.
 You cannot always tell by the way person dresses ssswhether his pew is paid for.
 The Turks took a liking to the silent Grant, because he said so little they couldn't under stand.
 A Detroit woman is reduced to her last dress, because silk is so high that she can't af- ford it, and calico is so cheap that she won't wear it.
 A lion has broken loose down in Maine, herd of elephants have had fight in Virgin ia, and on the whole the advertising business of circusses is good.
 It is sad that President Hayes had his be- lief in the Bible shaken little when he was informed thst it was not written by an Ohio man.
 Men who are continually reminding every body that they live by their brain, should do less brayin' work a Prevalent Minister: q wish to state that I have procured an alarm clock that will wake up the congregation as soon as the service is over"
 q do not wish anybody to do anything naughty" says a clever woman, ''but if they do Iwant to know all about it." .
 The air is so balmy that the young woman who is taking piano lessons can have the win dow mp. This is very gratifying to all of | us.
 Fond father. ''Well, my son, how do you like college? Alma mater has turned out some great men," Young Hopeful ''Yes, sir, she has just turned me out"
 Before a man delibritely makes up his mind tew be a raskal he shood examine hisself clusly tew assertane eff he ain't better constitooted for phool. .-..r-.. .-....
 The late Mark Hopkins having left no will his immense property must gOto his wife and his adopted son. It is believed that this one thing will set the legal profession back full twenty-five years.
 Nervous lady passenger on the train after passing the temporary bridge at New, Bruns- wick :'"Thank goodness we are now on terra yf'meG." Facetious gentleman ; ''Yes, maam 1; less terror and more frmer."
 The income tax should not go below $1O, 900 per annum. We are willing to sacrifice ourselves that the balance of the profession may be saved.-Dam6etry Nescs. Adele's papa hears. that Chariot IS spend thrift He inquiries about it. He reports to his daughter the next day; ''Make yourself easy, my child; have seen his washerwo- man. He doesn't owe her a cent" |.
 Edison says his photographs will cost about one hundred dollars apiece. This will enable poor families to keep photograph, but they will have dispense to with couple of dogs. | It IS proposed that the Senate meet only once every two hundred years, and then re- main in session only twenty-four hours. The object of this bill is to give Senator Sharon a chance to spend a portion of his time in the Senate Chamber.
 + The photograph may bottle up the voice and pass it down to future ages: but the smile that twists the face of man as he seeks soli- tude and gaZes upon his name ill print for the | first time will always have to be guessed at.
 The following notice speaks for itself: ''Of- flee hours for listening to commercial travellers 1 z to II; solicitors of church subscriptions II | to 1; book agents, 1 to 8; stationery peddlers and insurence men all day. We attend to our business at night
 Some one (married, of course) remarks up- | on the Strangehess of the fact that while a woman takes to it intui6vely, very few men have the sighted how to hold a baby. Quite true; and it is even more extraordinary, when you come to think about it, that even fewer men ever want to learn.
 The Boston Herald thinks the numerous failures in the past month are due to the near approach of the repeal of the bankrupt law We hope so. We were afraid that it might be caused by the general desire to visit the ex- position at aris.-DGa61tfy NetoS.
 Waiter-''What wovld you be pleased to order, sir? We have potage printanier la Julienne fricandeau de veau' avec coauettes des pomnles de steFre; rissales de boetif-" Milesiau-"Well, give us plateful of which ever of them comes nearest to an Irish stew. '' A lady with fatal squint came once to a fashionable artist for her portrait. He looked at her and she looked at him, and both were embarrassed He spoke first ''Would your ladyship permit me- he said, ito take the ] portrait in profile? There is a. certain shyness about one of your ladyship's eyes which is as difficult in art as it is fascinating in nature
 A certain parson, who was alsoa school teach CT, handed problem to his class in mathemat- ics the other day. The first boy took it, looked at it awhile, and said, 'I pass. ' The second boy looked at it and said, '' turn it down." the third boy looked at it awhile and drawled, '' I can make it. Very good, boys" said the parson, I've will cut for new deal" And the l switch dancedlike lightning over the shoulders ] of those depraved young mathematicians.