The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-10-17
WIT AND HUMOR.
TIGHT fit-Delirium tremens.

A TIGHT fit-Delirium tremens.
ARE wagon tracks wheelwritings?
REAL estate conveyances-Dirt carts
A MILLER has the divine right to bolt.
Hope is the encouragement of the.
soul.
THE money question" How much is
he worth? ?"
LOST at seattle boy who doesn't
know his alphabet past B.
THE same process that makes milk
butter, makes butter-milk.
The Ratral Neao Yorker says: " The
Hessian fly, and no man pursueth."
/ No OTHER girls nose itches SO much
as that of the one who wears a diamond
ring.
WHAT ought a skipper to do after
weathering a gale? Why, thank his
| (s) tars.
WHEN man takes a drink of Jersey
distilled apple juice he reminds one of
Ajax defying the lightning IS .r-sse
In choosing a wife, be governed by
her CHM says the chronological
Journal. That is just what most hus-
bands object to.
A Too-sENsrrIvE lover in Burke coun-
ty, Georgia, has broken off his engage
ment, because his sweetheart named
her pet calf after him.
WHEN a fourteen pound Bible falls
from the pulpit desk on the toes of the
preacher while he is praying-well, we
1 can't tell what his mental reservations
are.
KEEP carriage? No, sir; we can't
afford it; we pay a hundred cents on the
dollar. It's the fellows that SETTLE"
compromise, etc, that afford Injuries
of that kind. .
I" Is THIS the Aims House?" asked a
stranger, as he stopped opposite the
Springfield Armory grounds. No, sir,
this is the firearms house." was the
prompt reply. aa.s.. .
WHY they call it note shaving" was
because it was way to razor little
money This is barberous joke, and
photographers must not get their dander
up about it. tal
AN old maid has a cat and canary
The cat dies first. She has him stuffed,
and places him in the cage of the ca
nary, saying: az have put the dear
creature where he always desired to be-
Paris paper. o.,.~,-.-....-
WE want poets to understand that
their manuscripts written on both sides
will 20 at once into the waste-basket.
Those written only on one side will be
better treated. We shall carefully pre-,
serve them for the use of our paragra-
/ pher- Breakfast Table. ,s ..al-..a....
/ A YOUNG lady hesitating for word in
describing, the character of rejected
sutton said, He is not tyrant, not ex-
4 actly domineering, but" Dog
matte suggested her friend. "No, he
has not dignity enough for that; I think
pupmatic would convey my meaning ad-
mirably." 10 &A<56.s l.
! AN Engishman. was boasting to an
American that they had book in the
British Museum which was once owned
by Cicero ooh, that amt nothin'," re-
torted the American; "in the museum
in Bosting they've got the lead pencil
that Noah used to check off the animals
that went into the ark" Il Y#E~s = ~
A CoMPosIToR on an agricultural pa
per, whose girls father had helped him
down the front steps on the evening
previous had some copy, entitled "The
Perforating Power Of Roots" given him
to set up. He composed it in sympathy
with his own feelings, and the next day
the article came out headed, "-The Per
forating Power of Boots
A LITTLE boy whose father.was rather
immoderate drinker of the moderate
kind one day sprained his wrist, and his
mother utilized the whisky. in her hus-
/ bands bottle to battle the little fellows
wrist. After while the pain began to
abate, and the child surprised his mother
by exelaiming, Ma, hasp got a sprained
/ throat y ses. go rSgs> ga
LIKE all Rome Surchinss aaLiberty
| street youth, just ready for his first
trousers, is familiar with Bible history
and careful of his playthings. The other
day he asked his mother whether David,
/ who killed Goliath, had taken good care
of his playthings. !" Oh, certainly" re-
sponded ! the ) encouraging parent.
well" said the ambitious youth, the
reason why [ asked was, would like to
borrow Dayid's sling if his folks are will