, 1878-07-18
Wit and HumOr.

mounds Of silver per year.
Iy mankind couldn't succ1e what
would happen to ,hem When thSy want
toi
CLASSICAL man 10 Venice, ll., has
,hri,leucd his cat Olhe,io, VI the Newer
d Ycnice.
An Irishman being asked why he wurc
hi, s,oc kings the wrong sidc Uutsagi-,
,epliei. 1t was because there va, . hole
on the other side.
REGULAR lRggGuARITY.- Passenger
in hurry: lis this train puuclua q
Porter: "Yes, sir, generally a quarter
fan hour ls'c 20 a nute.-PuHch
ALAwYEE is 10 be hanged in Texas.
The only objection we have to this is that
when the people c1mmeuc. hanging
lawyers once they will never know when
TO siop.-Dreap1u Democrat.
To HAVE AND To KrEr.-Lanilady:
"Im sure hope you're comfortable, sir.
| do so dislike changing my dodgers;
when | get nice single gentleman
could keep him fJreyerW-hUH,
LAST words Of the defunct Worcester
Pres. ave hope the fellow that sent
usa postal card with stop my paper
written upon it will be satisfied this
morning We study 20 please"
A NYAcK man was discovered in the
cellar Of a grocery store looking into a
barrel of beef When asked what he
was doing there he gently and timidly
replied, II wish | could get corned like
that
"WuAT is the meaning Of back -biterl"
asked gentleman at Il Sunday.school
examination. This was puzzler. 1t
went down the class until it came to u
simple urchin, who said, perhaps it is
flea
CLEAN GRIT.-Traveler Qo attendant
Hebe) 81 can't eat this bread, it's filthy;
it's fdl Of blacks and grit" Hebe:
"Can't be in the bread, sir, it's 'ome made; :;
and know it's clean, because made it
myself"-Fan.
Wilson, the celebrated vocalist, was
upset one day in his carriage, near Edin-
burgh. A Scotch paper, after recording
the accident, said: 1--WE are happy to
state he was able to appear the following
evening in three pieces
LITTLE hve-year-old is having her first
experience of spring in the country.
Looking at peartree in full bloom, the
other day, she exclaimed, "Why, NAM
MAJ Just look at that tree. 1t is all COW
cred with popped cornw
"THE Life Guards are the tallest sol,
diers in the world" boasted an English
man. "Whew!' retorted a Paddy; "you
never saw South Tipperary Artillery
Militia; they're so high that when they
look to the ground it makes them dizzy"
THE END Crowns THE WoRK-Laura
with novel;: "Oh, if this tale we're
only true, and were the heroine " Kate: 4:
"What! with her prosecutions, her mis-.
eryG-Laura: "Ah! but then, dear, re.
member she does get a husband after
dl"-Fanny Folks.
LORD BEACoNsFIELD, in the course of
an impassioned speech, denounced the
occupants Of the Treasury Bench as tex
cited volcanoes" "What does he mean
by thatr an Irish member was asked.
"Sure, he means that they're used-up era
terS," was the answer.
Two little boys we're seen few days
since on Washington street, the one with
an accordeon in hand, the other with
large pIacard in front, upon which was
printed in large letters: "Ladies and
gentlemen, | am the mother of five chill
dren. Please help me."-BOSton Journal.
MISTRESS to young servant girl; "No-
mad, | told you to come at 8 o'clock"
Nomad: "Yes'm, asked 'em t home,
and they said it was eight. Mistress: ::
Yes, but you knew that it was later"
Nomad "Yes'm, know'd t was not
50, but | thought I'd take their word for
it.n
RALEIGH, s. c., News. A couple of
lawyers overtaking teamster, thinking
they would quiz him for their amusc-
ment, asked him why his forward horses
were 50 much fatter than the rear ones,
and We're answered: "The forward ones
are 10 ,ers and the back ones their eli
ents, Lawyers may take back seat.
AT happy spot where number of
negroes reside, an old negro was heard
calling out to his wife: "Manda! Is
you got dem chickens shut up in de
smoke house, like l told yer5" mo; an
like ter know what's de matter wild
you, that you's so mighty ticker bout
dem chickens all at oncep she replied.
"Neber you mind. know what's de
matter, and dat's nuif till dem chickens
Is housed. When | hears dat dem mig
gers over dar in de next yard gwine to
nan party tomorrow night, wants to-
Oe shore dat my chickens doesn't tend it;
you hear moW The chickens were at
0ACe locked nm