West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-10-26
WAITS AND wHlMS.

WHAT is IL which, the more you cut
il, the longer IL growsH--A ditch.
SENATOR OGLEsBY, when boy, was
the best fiddler in the Sangamon bottom.
A SPANISH woman walks in the Paris
boulevards leading dove with n ribbon.
SOME men are IA unsatisfactory as
soapy door.knob, and twice "A slippery.
Ir is thought that fashionable
boarding. house furnishes the best anti
fat.
STRANGE IL ia that nature must com.
pei us to lament our most persistent
deeds.
GREAT wants proceed from great
wealth. and make riches almost equal TO
poverty.
PRINCE ARTHUR will, after his mar
raige, settle down In Ireland and rebuild
Tara's Halls.
PM. Porz is the appropriate name
OF n German beer seller in Philadelphia.
iVBulietin.
A MUSICAL tavern in London, called
the Cremona, Ia believed by the Graphic
To be vile inn.
WE are always anxious TO know why
we are loved; they only care TO know
how much we love them.
THE loud tones In which some people
appeal 10 reason imply that reason Ia
great distance from them.
IT takes one less time 20 get over ones
own misfortune than 10 be reconciled 20
u neiPhborss good fortune.
A KENTUCKY woman has married a
Mr. Calico-has welded prints, as Il
were. - MctC. HoUeR Register.
Forbidden Fruit " Ia "a new drama
lately put on the boards. The Adams
all go for II though, IA of yore.
SITTING BULL wants TO come back 90
the States for fresh hair and little ex-
ercise. - Phiiadetphid Chronicle.
A MIsER of sixty years old refuses
himself necessaries, that he may not
need them when he Ia n hundred.
The worst thing about a handsome
woman IL some other arm than your
own.--Aferidcn Literary Recorder.
A STONE which on land requires tho
united strength of two men to lift, may
be lifted in the water by one man.
LILLE, France, recently had the novel
experience OF a violent and destructive
thunder storm without drop of rain.
AFTER all, there Is no other country
in which man has such a chance to
make the most of himself IA in America.
TnEY buried him darby, at dead Of night.
As they shoyeied him IN, they said "An right,
lie was only sowing machine agent"
THAT family is the best who obtain
not unjustly, keep not turfaithfully, and
spend in way that produces no repent
ance.
The slightest excess of expenditures
over income is poverty, and the slight
est excess of income over expenses Ia
wealth.
A SION posted up in Wisconsin saw
mill reads: "The saws are running--nO
use 10 touch them TO convince your
selves"
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS discovered
continent, but never enjoyed the
felicity of cheating at croquet.--Erratic
Enrique.
LADIES, don't keep 4 business man
waiting when he asks an ill-important
question. He may have another en-
gagement.-LUkeRs.
THERE are many things thatare thorns
TO our hopes until we have obtained
them, and envenomed arrows 10 our
hearts when we have.
Az Iowa paper gives thrilling &C
count of the effort II young man 10
take home widow and three swarms Of
bees at the same time in a wagon
HK Jumped on board the RAILROAD train
And cried, Farewell, Lucinda Jane,
Ny precious. sweet LuCindaW
Alas, how soon he changed his cry,
And, while the tear stood IN bis eye,
lie said. "COnfound loose cinderl"
- Yaocob.
DISTINGUISH between idleness, ignor-
ance, want Of attention and malice;
words sometimes slip from the tongues
which the heart neither hatched nor
harbored.
CIDER may be a good temperance
drink but can manage TO get no drunk
on IL that kant tell one ov the ten com
mandments from bylaw ov baseball
club.--Josh BiLtings.
Az Eastern exchange says that Cup
70 July ~, the Arctic whaling feet NJ
Davis Strait had not caught a whale"
Why under the sun don't they spit on
their bait2-Hawkeye.
The mosquitoes and Heas have played
a long and remarkably successful season
this year. They have been received
into the houses Of some Of our very
hest r,oopIe - Bge1L6 6gsf T5TbLe