The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1878-01-17
Miscellaneous.

nat - that from whlch II you take
the whole some viii yet ett..s.t s.4...
some.
There is no doub; but that the dollar
of our fathers would he useful in pay
rental sense.
An auctionecr declined to praise some
old china he was Offering for sale, saying
1t had already been sufficiently cracked
up"
man in Louisiana has had four wives
go off and leave him The fifth he swap.
ped for an old shotgun, and now he has
got something that won't go off.
Woman consumes &c buttons on her
single pair Of kid gloves whereas man
buttons his suspendcrs with a shingle-
nail. And yet folks will ask: Button.
button-wEose got the button p
The editor of Virginia paper was
asked by stranger "if it were possible
that little town kept up four newspa-
pers." And the reply was: "No; il
town"
One OF our readers uptown is a sort of
subscriber. He takes the paper when
the other man is not around
Constant Reader" wants to know If
his poem was declined because it was too
longY No, it was because il was too
thin.
First Lourist-"Ah, be Jove Ezeroum
has fallen" Second Tourist Cooking
over a precipice) BE the Lawd AIRY,
whereY
The times are so hard in some parts Of
the West that the clergymen announce
they will marry folks in clubs Of ten or
twenty at much reduced rate
1t is asserted Of a .Philadelphian that
he died worn out by too severe mental
effort in the study Of how to live without
work"
Delaware paper says Of q man whose
COW died Mr.. Jones has the sympathy OF
the entire community in this his dark
hour.
Papa, said bright Springfield boy
just home from a sleight-ofhand enter.
talnment, IL wish ] was a coniurer."
"Why, my son p 81 would turn YOU into
rat, call up the cat, and wouldn't have
funW
Blobbs has learned his son how to
black his own boots, each morning. He
says there's nothing like having little
'son-shine' in the house every day"
silk stockings, with lace medallions
covering the instep. are thirty dollars n
pair" remarks a fashion note And vet
people wonper why so many editors re-
man single.
The nro,,er a,, TO- n Ill, - ii
letter this winter is to run the direction
from corner to corner. scatter three cent
stamps over the envelope, and write
important on any vacant space left.
What letters Of the alphabet are most
like Roman emperor The Cs are.
The children in the schools at
Ouachita, Kansas. write in their compo-
sitions about Ouacbing their faces
Some Indians use scalpingknives of
tortoise shell; probable on account OF
the old fable in which the tortoise was
alleged to have got away with the hare.
How to tell mad dog" is the title Of
an article that is going the rounds We
haven't anything to tell n mad dog that
we couldn't send to him on postal card
A Dutchman was'about to make q Jour
ney to his fatherland, and, wishing to
say goodbye" to a friend. extended his
hand and said: We'll, off ] don'd come
back, hullo."
81 had rather walk seventeen or eigh-
teen blocks out Of our way" pathetically
observes the venerable Simon Cameron,
than encounter a Treasury widow"
I'm answer to the question-"Why do
young men leave the farm r. an exchange
replies, I'VE think it is because a farm is
cumbersome and inconvient thing for a
young man to take along with him"
A thousand towels we're stolen this
summer, writes a ll-known Saratoga
landlord: "boarders show fondness for
all sorts of furniture. but es
pecially towels" They love not wisely,
but towel.
The editor Of childs paper received a
letter from a lady subscriber recently in
which was written: "0ur Annie died last
week. after reading the last number of
your valuable paper"
my dear" said a husband in startling
tones, after awakening his wife in the
night, II have swallowed dose of strych-
nine Well then, do for goodness
sake lie STILL or it may come up.
An American who has been travelling
throughout Spain says, that the Spaniards
don't assassinate each other half as read.
lily as they did ten years ago.-TEx
Well, we always thought that Spain could
beat the world for a sassy-nation.
We shall soon be standing by the win
dow looking out upon the beautiful sn-
oozer Of a policeman, who with note
book in hand, will inform you that "ff
the side walk is not claned to wunct you
will be foined fifty cints.
To all letters soliciting his subscription
to anything, Lord Chancellor Erskine
had a regular form Of reply, viz: "Sir,
feel much honored by your application to
me, and | beg to subscribe"-here the
reader had to turn over the leaf-"myself
your very obedient servant"
Longfellow was presented to Mr.. Long.
worth of Cincinnati The latter remark
ed to the poet, there is no great differ
ence in our names. YES" replied Mr..
Longfellow but ",gorh makes the man,
the want Of it the felio,o."
A new song is entitled, Trust me Oar
ling, I'll be True" That is what thev all
say. But don't trust him on a short ac-
quaintance. The probabilities are that
he has wife in another town.
When he was a young man he rushed
into burning building and CALAMITY
dragged her out by the hair of her head
They were married the next winter, and
now she rushes in and drags him out by
the hair Of the head whenever she feels
like it. Such is true love-