The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-08-10
VARIETIES.


This is the summer of our discon-
tent.
Never encore an unripe water
melon.
AS the twig is bent the boy is in
clined.
They also sweat who only stand
and wilt.
The weather is even warmer than
last winter.
-Tramps are the result of freedom
gone to seed.
The early angler catches the worm
and cold.
Wigs, in the language of flowers,
are lie-locks.
Call for the North Pole-ice and ar
rest the heat.
1--WE just dropped in,'' as the fly
said to the coffee.
A felon on the hand is worse than
ten in the penitentiary.
Recipe for whipping Indians-First
catch your Indians.
The Western wits now call bigamy
Utah-lizing the female sex.
How to get rid of fiies-Hire base
ball player to take them in.
In Rhode Island they call the pref
ty girls Narraganset Pieries.
"A dogs bark may be worse than
his bite, but we prefer the bark.
The coal production of China is
reckoned at 100000 tons annually.
Ice is companionable. If left to it.
self on the sidewalk it will 90 away.
What wicked set the newspaper
men must be-they have so little rest.
Scales that will weigh grain of
dust are used in the Philadelphia Mint.
Show may be easily purchased, but
happiness is always a homemade arti-
Gle.
The COurier-J0urndl says it is so
hot in Louisville that the hens lay their
eggs cooked.
Misery does not always love com
pany, if the company happens to be
mosquitoes.
Cyprus is about as large as Con-
necticut. If anything, Connecticut is a
nutmeg crater,
When a chap throws a basin of
water down the back of your neck,
water yer column?
Every married man thinks he has
secured the woman with an iron-iaw
Now why is this?
These are the days of evolution.
Every man is becoming little otter
so says a cockney friend. Boston TraU-
eLler.
In the opinion of the Fulton Times,
patch on the seat of Il boys trousers
is " something new under the SOM
When a tooth begins to feel as if
there was a chicken scratching at its
root, it's time to pullet out. - YonaherS
Gazette.
-Bostonians are not in favor of any
thing outre or unusual. They don't
like anything much out of the Com
mon Graphic.
"A young man who is much given
to athletic sports would like to know
when the much-talked-of Anglo Saxon
race is to come off.
How to preserve the purity of the
ballot-box-Lock the box up in a fire
proof safe and throw away the key
NOrriStO1Cn Herald.
The boss of the hay scales is not
apt to prove good friend to you, he
is so liable to give you a weigh.-heO-
katE Constitution.
The man who climbs three pairs of
stairs in this weather "to see the editor"
ought to be treated with some consid-
eration.- Boston Globe.
Eve rever took her husband five
miles through heat and dust for the
purpose of finding new kind of bug
and having picnic. -BufaEO E1preSS.
Now stealthily from patch to patch
Proceeds the youthful felon,
And many luckess farmer man
Bemoans the watermelon.
- YonEerS Gazette
Can you read and write, sir?"
asked gentleman of rather doubtful
looking applicant for position.
"Well, yes, sir, l 'spose can, never
tried
Elder Sister," Oh, YOU fancy
yourself very wise, dare say, my dear,
but could give you wrinkle or two"
Younger Sister-''No doubt-and meUer
miss hen1."
Never get under tree during a
thunder storm. IfAjaX had been afraid
of getting his clothes wet, he never
would have successfully defed the
lightning.
"A boy at school, on being asked to
describe a kitten, said: a kitten is
remarkable for rushing like mad at
nothing whatever, and stopping before
it gets there.-Judy.
"A Rutland farmer found a potato
bug on his dinner table the other dav,
and thus to the bug he calculated:
Good heavens! have you got to have
your potatoes cooked this year,"
Doesn't Boston harbor remind
you of the Bay of Naples?" asked an
enthusiastic yachtsman. yes" was
the answer, Eat least in one respect
They are both full of water. "-BOSton
Transcript.
The bitterness of poverty is begin
ming to be felt in the country as it never
was before. A man actually confessed
in market the other morning that he
was about to buy another dog.
Don let your children learn good