American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1878-01-12
WIT AND WISDOM.


THIS story about the Hon. E. M.
Stoughton is from the Arcadian: He
was recently introduced to prominent
gentleman of the West interested in
packing, very stout and very
wealthy Said the latter gentleman:
" Delighted to meet you, Mr.. Slough
ton. have seen your name in print
often enough. 1 use your -bitters my
self.'' t-at.stm .a...als. frfr,..
WHEN Washington was carving his
way into the hearts of his countrymen,
do you suppose he ever leaned upon his
sword to ponder that the day would
come when his portrait would look
down benignantly from over a bar up
on two red-nosed snoozers putting away
bad whisky, and jamming their noses
into each others eyes, as they discuss
ed, in mangled English, the boons and
blessings of freedomPTC Cincinnati
Breakfast Table.
AFARMER, having been terribly an
noyed by drummers, put up a sign,
No sewing machines wanted here got 20
one" 1t was no use. The next drum q
mer wanted to see the machine, "and ~ Z
perhaps he'd hitch a trade.n-.So the
farmer put up, g Got the smallpox d.
here" That worked well for a little
while, but then came along a drummer +
frightfuhy pitted with the small pox,
who smilingly said GO Seein' you'vegot
it bad here, they've put me on thisyai
route" .tsr i..e4fg 5di o5 nuf--
HALF of house was cut off in Napa, ,..a
Cal, and moved away. The family
that continued to reside in the remainder
temporarily stretched muslin across the
open space. That evening a crowd 90
gathered to see the shadow pantomime I'D
that the inmates unconsciously made for iu4.
public amusement. The supper table --
was close to the curtain, so that the ,.
movements of the eaters were seen in
grotesque silhouette on the cloth. Then ~
the husband kissed his wife,, and that
sight made the spectators laugh SO loud
that the show was Instantly broken up.
THERE are times in the life of an ed 81 =
itor when all is not dark and dreary;i .1fl
when he is reminded that there are but -i
few persons who feel that cheerfulness
should occasionally flash across his dis
NAL physiognomy; that an editor has
feelings which can be made to vibrate l -
with the enjoyments of this life, and ~..'
their endeavors to brighten his life are .ri...
as an oasis to the weary traveller across .t,.
the dreary desert. We refer to the old
lady who sent us in a squash.-Brock-
UiLle (Pa.) Graphic. t'1
HE bought guitar and practiced for
six long weary months But at the end
of that time a smile of joy lit up his wan <
nd oV1d n
radiant with joy, as he inspected the b.
corns on the thumb OF his right hand.h,5r
The hour was 10 p. M, and he wander 3,
ed through the Silly night to the board
ing house where she lived, and directly j."
under that window which had been SO lh7
often sanetified by her presence, he com mo
menced to tOot: (Twang, twangy BIND gnos
6: wandered -b-i-i the brookside. Q4ling, ans,
clang, boo), wandered by-i-i the mill'i' ,.,,,
and the sash was gently raised with a
crash, and a deep bass voice yelled out.- i'i''
g 1 wish as you fall into your brook off -ih
your brookside und trown yourself in 'a4.'
dose mill, oder plow my vissil and,callld st
a polizeidiener. 1T was erael.Of-her to
have changed her room without letting II
him know.U OBJ o. sllegaT xuaumo'l
3di f3i =. d THE WEATHER. Il ratff,ffk e4t =.
= WHAT'S it makes the ce-man swear,
The coal man tear his sooty hair ,uln Xit 81
The plumber tremble IN hislair2 ie T-ST I
iM The weather.
F What is it makes the ladies sign, -J5 478 3
h AS, gazing at the Aprn slCy,iB f.1Ba ylfEfsnf
= They lay their seal skin jackets by?
= t'4 T-"i ~ = The weather. aii5 %
What makes the stove an rip and snort = 81 Z
% The packer of ye hams eaYort? 9. Z, .,- r-
Why all these oaths and sich like sort? '''''
-ff sHnfiHfln 3a' = gei Tie weather.. sid1 0T
WHAT'S it brings the baleful chills, t. q
The Group and other human MS, - "i'' -f'
The doctor and his festive pfIIs7 b. -f,.lrTu0r
#t .....s The weather,
'''''+ ''i ''-St. louis JoltTahL. ii''ti {"
ssi Coughs and Fou1'Air..i ih9neld
..4 g ylrr hBy--- JTEd s11hiod~ S.p3is