The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1878-09-06
WHAT THE WITS SAY.
The cucumber does It's best fighting after
it is down.

ue CucuAUoE uOcS It's Uost MS utifsB @Rtcg
it is down. -
a small boy and gun ars harmless when
apart, but they make terrible combina-
tion.-Puck.
Denis Kearney should put cabbage leaf
in his shoes. He might get sunstruck.-
". 7. Herald.
When chap throws water down the
back of your neck, water yer column
Yonkers Gazette.
When an aecordeon has worked its way
into pawn shop its redeemer does not live.
N. 0. Picayune.
Cucumber sociables are in order II you
like to go to cramp meeting. The agony is
in tents.-N. 2. Nesos.
The fortune of the Rothschilds is esti-
mated at s5O0, 600 900. It's naughty but
Satan ia good to his own. This is an an
cient hut true prnverb. 1Fsvsv. s.~s,Aps saaar of
a thieving Indian agent losing his scalp.
See how the little busy hee improves
each shining minute, how gaily lights he
On your nose and sticks his stinger in it.
Fulton Times.
We love to lie beneath the shade and
ouaff the cooling lemonade, and also feel
the cheerful ants crawl slowly up your
summer pants. .......
The Union Record says: "You can tell
the class of company hov keeps by what
you find in his head.' This is combing
down very fine. .t. H.. ...H.aT
Now is the time that the wife HES 10 the
seasbore, and the husband remains at home
to look after the hired girl and things
Reynolds Herald. e
Rev. John Jasper has had to leave his
house because he couldn't pay his rent, and
has gone to live with bis mother. "De son
do moye."- Grephis. ..H
Washee waehee, morn till night,
| No get drunkee, no 90 fight;
| No give sasse Belican man,
Workee kardee all hsca
| Mclean loafce all day long, .-
| Spit en- Chinee. say no wrong;
Stealee muchee when he ceuldee,
Lie bout Chinec cay no gooaee
Boston Post.
| "Grant," remarked the tall man in the
wrinkled duster, as he peeled q bilious
looking banana, "Grant reminds me OF
tulip tree struck by lightning" And
vhy?" asked the little fat man with the
russet valise. Because" replied the tall
man simultaneously with the disappearance
of the first h1lf Of the banana, because
he is 80 blasted poplar"
The Sultan roved in the same race with
Dizzie and Bizzy, but with different sort
of skull. Ben. Butler rows with spoon
oar; Pappenheim rows on the high Cs
General Grant takes pull on a cork; Jenkf
rows on a Derby ram; Mackenzie rowed
over the Rio Grande; Howard rowed with
the horse marines and mufRed bis skulls Z
keep on the scalps; Sitting Bull feather
|. his 1bkEll abkpll.aslR2essa Is j .esa Pat:
vented an electrical automatic dog with
vulcanized head, brass spine, sheet iro'
ribs, copper-soed feet. cast-iron taia'
eutta percha skin, and an interior wher
the wheels Of an eight day machine g
around to the tune Of two miles minute
The advantages claimed for this dog are
| |. 1t can't be pizened 2. 1t will not ki
sheep: 8. It will not run away from eros
cat: 4. It will not bite the children; o.
vii, not introduce feas into hoase; ..
3 will not yelp when its toes are trodden on
= Il will not run between your legs an
throw you down, as the ordinary dog oot
a when he goes for cowardly cat.-BssHsare
t | Tribune.