New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1878-05-29
"SHLLS."

known, Of Tihan's Daughter.
.tSELLS."
It would puzzle philosopher to give
an exact definition Of the ''sell." Nearly
related to the hoax, it differs from it in
being more innocent in its inception and
less mischicvous IN its consequences.
Some little ingenuity is required to con
cost happy "sell;" but any one may per-
petrate hoax who is equal to blending a
lie the confidence of truth." The later is q
deliberately planned deception, oftenest
attaining its end by personation or forgery
or something closely akin to it; whereas
sell needs no such playing with edged
tools, and may not only be unpremedi-
ated, but even unintentional.
Many an unprecedented sell has been
perpetrated from inability to resist sud-
den temptation. One of the Judges of
the Supreme Court of New York State,
visited the Centennial Exhibition, sat
down IN quiet corner apart from the
others, to listen to a great cornet-player,
and as was his wont il court, drew his
gray coat about his head and ears as a
protection against possible draughts. His
motionless figure soon attracted utten-
ton; and the whisper ran that it was the
statue of some wonderful character The
Jude's sister wickedly told those near ht
that they were gazing at the effgy of an
Aztec priest from Mexico. The informa-
ton passed from mouth to mouth, and
some hundreds of people were drawn to
the spot, to disperse somewhat sheepish-
~ when the object of their curiosity, hav-
ing had enough of the cornet, readjusted
his coat and rose to 60.
A good story is told Of one Boggs.
whose impertinent curiosity was proven
bal throughout the country that owned
him. He was on one occasion travelling
on the Little Miami Railroad, alongside
a solemn looking man, who PERSISTED in
looking out Of the window, and took no
heed Of Boggs' endeavors to enliven the
journey with little conversation. At
last the brakeman or guard came round
with some water, and the unsociable
traveller turned round to take a drink.
Selling the chance, Boggs asked: "Going
as far east as New York;
"No,' grunted the man.
"Ah!' said Boggs, "New York is dull
this time of year; meb5ee you're striking
for Philadelphia9''
The surely one shook his head.
"P'raps Cleveland's your destination!"
insinuated Mr.. Boggs. "No?" Can't he
going this roundabout way to Chicago? 2
No reply was vouchsafed.
WELL" cried Boggs, despairingly, II
s'pose you We no objections to telling
where you are going?"
"Well, sir" exclaimed the man, I" I'm
going for seven years!'
Then the Deputy Sheriff said he would
rather not have folks talking to his pris-
oners, and Boggs gave in.
This puts us in mind of Mark Twain
anecdotes of Artemus Ward and travel
ing bore, between whom the following
amusing colloquy took place:
"Did you hear that last thing of
Horace Greeleyss
"Greeley, Greeley, Horace Greedy;
who is he2' said Artemus.
Five minutes elapsed, then came:
"George Francis Train is making
good deal of disturbance over in Eng
land; do you think they will put him in
prisona"
"Train, Train, George Francis Train,"
said Artenus, solemnly; " never heard
of him."
The tormentor tried another tack; he
said: "What do you think about Grants
chance for the Presidency"
"Grant, Grant?-Why mani" said
Artemus, you seem 10 know more
strangers than anyone ever saw
The man took walk up the car; com.
ing back, he said: swell, you ignoram-
us, did you ever hear of Adam2"
The humorist looked up and said:
+" adam? What was his other namea"
The journey henceforth was made in
pace.
Very nicely sold were couple Of
tramps who waylaid a wealthy farmer in
Louisa County, Iowa, and demanded his
money or his life. Disinclined to part
with either, he took to his heels. They
chased him half mile down the toughest
of lanes, dashed after him througha brier-
hedge and went painting across an cid
corn field. Then the chased one struck
for the woods, and went wheeling up a
steep hill; his pursuers pressing closely
behind with blood shot eyes and shortened
breath. The farmer dashed across forty
acre stubple field, across a frozen creek
through a blackberry patch down ra-
vine, over another hill, across q stump
field, to be run down on the road by the
tramps. They overhauled him thorough
", searched him from top to toe, to find
no had not q sn1itarv cent whorau;fh RI