The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-08-06

CNCi, CNCOpb w hNCP ihO away iOhA heS
immediate vicinity.
Being unable to determine what /
came for myself, the happy thought
struck me that could solve the prob
lem by finding out what actuated others
to come. Having found this out, 1t
would be easy enough, after considering
all the circumstances of other cases and
the peculiar circumstances of my own
case, to strike balance and find out
what l came for myself.
Lest the intelligent reader may be
tempted to entertain poor opinion of
the mental roundabout way of trying to
astertain fact, be it remembered that
the hot sun was, meantime, pouring
down in his hottest rays upon poor
Johns head, and almost making a stew
of his brain.
Just as the happy thought struck me,
recognized an old acquaintance on the
other side of the street, James Bond by
name, who was the very man to enlight-
en- me, as he could give a reason for
everything. Especially was he prolific
in giving reasons for not paying his just
debts; and as he owed me the trifling
sum of one dollar, kind of half-formed
resolution was floating in my mind that
If it came round handy would dun him
for money, and if he didn't shell out, L
would somehow manage to take it all
out in ice-cream.
Up one street an d down another we
went, he some distance ahead, and /, of
course, following after. AS time passed,
it occurred to me what grand day it
was for ice-cool lemonade and ice-cream.
Then suspicion entered my mind that
James had somehowlcaught sight of me,
and was trying to give me the dodge
This thought, however, only stimulated
me to renewed effort
All thought of getting my money van
ished, as 1 mentally resolved to show
Jim that wasn't mean enough to chase
a man all day with the thermometer 100
degrees in the shade, and the Fourth of
July besides, for the paltry sum of one
dollar. r,. It.
AS this noble purpose became fixed in
my mind, my rate of speed increased so
that 1 found myself gaining very per-
ceptibly on my friend. g.f .qf
All of sudden he stopped and turned
round, facing me. .asf W.t.
What do you wantp' he asked.
Goodness alivel 1t wasn't Jim at
all, but an entire stranger. iaa.f
am philosopher, stammered.
A what ?" t'sate.. lis
"A philosopher. Satisfied that men
do not celebrate the Fourth on account
of patriotism, choose this day to find
the reason why they chose the hottest
day in the year on which to get unduly
excited And, my dear, sir, 1 selected
you as a man likely to give me the de-
sired information. Will you ?"
A philosopher, are you ? That is
rather thin! 1 know who you are =
You're one of those onery cusses that
try to make a living without work. But
you've got after the wrong fellow, this
time. Take that !" fio1' siiis''.s
The next thing knew was lying on
my back, with crowd of men and boys
gathered around; and the man, who
looked somewhat like James Bond, was
saying:
"He's three card monte man, or
something worse, and has been follow
ing me all day."
1t was evident that the sympathy of
the crowd was in his favor. 1t was fur
ther evident that would have to apollo
gize for being knocked down, and stand
o good chance of being sent to the lock-
up, besides. af, t4 oe
However, as good luck would have it,
a mutual friend appeared upon the scene
and helped me out of an awkward pre-
dicament. 4it,. g..
1t Is, perhaps, needless to say, that
after this unfortunate episode, the ardor
of my philosophical researches began to
cool down, in spite of the fact, that the
air was getting hotter all the time.
While trying to Danish from my mind
the unpleasant events of the morning, 1
accidentally halted in my wanderings,
near couple of men, whose ages were
about forty and eighty.
And SO Jake's drunk!' remarked
the old man. 4aj h.ss g.liD1 sG8 t.
YES" replied the other" and Jim,
too" tl1ia Higle'o fHH'f
p" Is that SO 7" exclaimed the old man
In pensive mood sGn Yts
And Bill,n continued the middle