Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-10-30
The JOkers' Column.
THE FALCONTR,

With hound and gun at early dawn
The hunter greets the smiling morn;
And as be lifts his wicker flask
tie winds his mellow horn.
Safe In his hunting bag he packs
A little bottle built of tin;
The which with many hearty smacks,
'..', lie packs his ammunition in i....H
'And lest his trusty fowlne piece g
Should fail him when the chase was long,
de takes, his safety to increase,
Ills pOcket-pistol, fat, but strong.
Although no game he bringeth home,
He makes the feathers fly all day:
And moOr-hens See as far they roam
The cocktails that he puts away.
When night comes brooding DER the wales,
Though wound or fracture he has not
Yet by the scent his breath exhales
We know he is three quarters shot
IT takes two properly to enjoy a can
vass- back duck. l. You. 2. The duck
"Speaking Of the dead languages,
professor" inquired the new student,
"who killed them %
There is no disgrace in being poor
the thing is to keep it quiet, and not let
your neighbors know anything about it.
There is a lawyer down east so ex-
cessively honest that he puts his flower
pots out overnight, SO determined is he
that every thing shall have it's dew.
A western editor thus kindly alludes
to contemporary: "Ue is young yet,
but he can sit at his desk and brush
cobwebs from the ceiling with his
ears" r.. ...i ... I'D
~ AM standing" yelled the orator,
con the sacred soil of liberty" "You
orr. Of limo, 1-olloI lIo 49,.
the soles Of pair ofsboots you haven't
paid me for .... .-....-t
The gang of burglars who work for
seven straight hours to hammer a safe
to pieces to secure fourteen, cents know
how a country minister feels next day
after donation visit.
~ am going to Alaska" said gen
tleman to his friend. "Indeed!5 re-
marked the friend, and does your
wife approve of it?" "Don't know"
replied the other, but Alaska" ...>
The Chinese Encyclopedia meets a
long-felt want, and no family should be
without it. It isspublished at Pekin, in I
1920 volumes, and at the price of 81,
800 IS the same as given away. "Get
the best"
4" PRISONER, do you wish to say any
your Honor, except this-lemme off
light; this isthe eighth time I've been
up before you. We're old copartners,
as it were III. ..... 49,. 49,, ,
:" If it takes one hog to make a ham,
how many hogs will it take to make
hammer ?"-Er. He, he, he! Here's
another one: If it takes one egg to make
an nogg, how many eggs will it take to
make an anger? -d. Louis Dispatch. t-..a
ANoRWIcH tenant has been impor-
tuned SO frequently for his rent that IL
a climax Of evaporation, the other day,
be turned on the landlord with the CO.
gentand conclusive retort: Now you
needn't put on so many airs, old man.
Why, owe enough in this town to buy
up all your old houses"
A YANKEE auctiOneer lately INDUCED
in the following little bit of the pathetic:
Gentlemen, if my father and mother
stood where you do, and didn' buy these
boots-these elegant boots-When they
were going for one dollar, should feel
it my duty as a son to tell both of lem
that they were false to themselves and
false to their country" mi s.: -,...,. .,.
ONE day last week a young man who
was thinking Of buying farm out in
Nebraska, was looking at an outfit be-
| fore ne started West. He rather liked
the clerical appearance of the bay mule,
and pulled its tail to see if it was gentle.
About four O'clock in the morning, he
opened his eyes and said to his sister,
who was bending over his couch: 'Ask
| the man what they load them with dy-
Mantle for .. And when they asked
the man he cried so hard he couldn't
answer 80 ,+ :s,...-
THIS from an Eastern paper is good,
if it is little late: The terrible scourge
Of croquet is sweeping over the vast,
illimitable, changing West like, a cy
clone, and the other day, beautiful
girl in Peoria, with siIken curls that
held the sunshine in their tangled mesh,
es, and soft blue eyes that opened wide
| in sweet surprise if you praised their
| tender light, and that melted IN tears at
| the voice of distress, and red, sensitive
lips that quivered and trembleG with
pain at a harsh word or cold look, and
voice as soft as the notes of far-oH
flutes upon the moonlit waters, got away.
behind in a very exciting game, and
| when her brother caught her cheating,
she opened her soft, blue, melting eyes
| in sad surprise, and hit him such a ter
rible diff over the head with a mallet
| that it was nearly week before he
Icould tell whether to wear his hat on
his head or the lump. ,a.g g.. .or 4fa
/
/ Camping in the, Adirondacks.
t A Lady in the Chicago Times.
/ Alright a fresh sprinkling of balsam
hn1 he frach n1 onl1nhoC b Ia 1llE-