Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-08-26

Young men and green corn always
"pop" better when they get over being
green.
Uncle-"Now how did the mother of
Moses hide him 2" Niece-"With
stick"
A lady, joking about her nose, said:
al had nothing to do with shaping it.
1t was birthday present" :"
"How greedy you arel !" said one little
girl to another who had taken the best
apple in the dish; II was going to take
that"
A young mother gives her child a
stick of candy, and, to teach it politeness,
says: "What do children say when they
get candy?" More !"
81 now pronounce you man and-hand
over the ten dollars before l 90 any fur
ther," is way Connecticut clergymen
have of securing their fee.
"I'd like to see them put me in Jail, :"
says Mr.. Kearney. "Ah !" remarks the
Detroit Free Press with delightful en-
thusiasm, ''who wouldn't ?"
Somebody prints book to show how
to get twenty five cent dinners for fam
lilies" Now let somebody print book
showing how to get twenty-five cents.
1--WE all knows" said cockney school
committee man to a new teacher he was
examining for her position, "A, B and
G is vowel; but what we wants to know
is Wy they is So"
Picnic sandwiches are all right on a
picnic, but when they are brought home
from. the grove, and trotted out on the
following six days, then, indeed, patience
ceases to be virtue.
Chicago has natatorium on the lake
shore where the females bathe. A st
Louis paper says the women have such
large feet that they kill all the fish
within three miles of the shore.
The following is the Chinese version
of Mary and her lamb:
Was gal named Moll had lamb,
Flea all samee white snow;
| Evly place Moll gal walkee,
Ba Ba hoppee long too
"What are you about ?" angrily ex
claimed country editor the other da,
to his wife, who was touching up he
complexion before the mirror 'Onl,
getting up my patent outside dear,
was the reply.
''Thank heaven" said tormente,
passenger, "there are no newsboys il
heaven" "No." replied the newsboy
"but what comfort do you find in that :?
the man didn't say, and everybod
looked pleased.
According to that wicked sheet, tn
, Neacs Letter, there is girl in SAINT
Barbara with such big mouth that tn
other day, when she smiled at fellov
on the street, kind-hearted little bo
exclaimed with great earnestness. "Loo
out, miss, your lids coming off"
A wasp's nest contains $4,000 celli
and the greatest of these "sells" is
sit down on the nest under the mistake
E impression that all the wasps have gon
to the seaside or somewhere on a visi
A single wasp loaing in the back kitct
en- will give the sitter warm reception
= Dog-seller-"That ere hanimal's th
real stock, mum, and dog-cheap at fy
pounds" Young widow-"It's a swee
! pretty darling, black and white; but
my present state of bereavement you mu
. procure me one entirely black. TIL
will do very we'll for half-mourning
p about six months"
: my son, would you like to steal on
of those melons % "Yes, SIR" was I'll
!. prompt reply. "You would, eh a
I sorry to hear that. If you should ste
c one Of these melons, my boy, do "
4 know what the result might be ?" III
9 lad scratched his head, surveyed Il
pile again, and answered: 81 'spect Il
| plaguy thing would be green all Il
> way through.