The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08
Burdette's Travelling Tribulations.
burlington Hawkeye.l


A few weeks ago there was man in
Toledo, or it mig ght have been Detroit,
who wanted to go to Springfield or St.
Louis. He went to the ticket Office of
the Wabash and told the agent what he
wanted, and that he wanted to go by the
Wabash Rsilway. He wasn't ready to
go just then, and he was fearful that by
the time he was ready all the Wabash
tickets would be gone and he would
have to 60 by some other route. So he
gave the agent deposit of three dollars,
to secure his ticket, and the agent gave
him formal receipt, Received of Mr..
-. three dollars, as security for the
reserve and purchase of ticket to-,
via the Wabash Railway" The man
went away and days passed and he did
not return. The agent was beginning to
wonder what he should do with those
three dollars, when, one day, about ten
days after the transaction, the man ap-
peared, and, with some anxiety, de-
manded his ticket. It was sold to him,
and to this day that prudent passenger
congratulates himself upon bis foresight.
feeling confident that if he hadn't Sc
cured his seat so long in advance, thus
avoiding the rush at the door, he would
| have had to have-he would had to have
had-he would have had to--he would
had to have to-he would have been
compelled to have-he would been com.
pelled to have had to have-he'd had
to hoofed it. Dog gone an auxiliary
verb, any how.
| Just after we passed through Logsns-
port, an excited man, with pale face,
bristly hair, and green spectacles,
rushed up to me and demanded, without
waiting for the formality of an intro
duction:
What does Justinian say?"
1 said, Huh ?' and lifted my face to
his with a look of sweet surprise. 1t
didn't melt him particle. He was just
as savage as ever about it.
What do the men of an elder
civilization say about it?'' he cried
What does Eschylus sayT
Then got mad and began to talk
| square truth at him. l said:
"He doesn't say anything; he's dead"
This appeared to amaze him, and he
looked SO shocked that was sorry had
broken the news to him SO abruptly: At
last he said, with an accent of incre-
dulity:
"When did he die?''
/ Ldou 4huloody ulO1u1uR, L Sd1u.
and l never blushed. The fact was, l
didn't expect to be cross questioned on
such a simple statement of broad,
pinned me dswn to a date, it suddenly
occurred to me that l didn't know
exactly when the old pagan did die, and
[ felt as uncomfortably cornered as Jim
Anderson. So go out of it in the same
| h. led ho111xy
unblushingly.
But it was an awful strain on my
tender conscience. I wasn't used to it.
"Well," the bristly man said, return
ing to his subject, what did he say be-
fore he diedf'
| / said he didn't say anything to me-
And I was prepared to stick to this, for
he didn't, and can prove it. wasn't
there.
| "Well," the man persisted, 81 he said
something, anyhow, and you know what
it was"
So I said that I believed when DIR.
Virgin was going to cut his leg off, he
told him "Dulcyest de quorum East
Peru opatery mortuus est"
him, I couldn't tell which. guess il
/ Ouly uSIC0 AIul, 1O1 AC WCut Ou
down the car, and I heard him ask the
and the conductor said, f" A dollar and
eighty-ive cents"
How hot and dusty it is. How
dirty and grimy every body looks. How
cross and unobliging and disgracefu,
everybody feels. The cars are crowded
and everybody is wishing everybody
else was out of the way. The woman il
: front of me has dropped her shawl OIL
the floor. She is not young or handsome
but she is a woman. Her face has {
: harsh, forbidding, expression, bu
r withal, think can see tender line
s about the mouth. 1t is face that ha
: seen trouble. Poor woman, perhaps sh,
has them all, with their husbands ant
v wives, to support. No wonder she look
tired and worn and repellanJ. Ii sh,
q was young and pretty as she was thirt.
!, years ago, a dozen men would spring
: forward to snatch her shawl from tn
!. dusty floor and bow themselves crooke'
3 handing it to her. Now we look at it
e and feel too dusty even to tell her wher
= it is. A commercial traveller walk
e down the aisle and steps carefully owe
4 it. A woman goes down the other wa
and thoughtlessly steps on it. l fee
e ashamed of myself and pity the poor
homely woman. With an effort 1 ris
3 from my seat, | stoop to pick up tn
q neglected shawl.
n Madam" say, and-oh if my SON
" mother could see that smile, {" MADAM
g. permit me; your shawl"
a 1stopped right there. For as I pieke
a up the neglected shawl, out of il
" voluminous folds fell humping an
It rattling to the floor paper bag, badl
fractured, full of crackers, tin Cal
some remnants of an ancient lunch,
"a six inch bologna, bit off at one end, an
u y bottle of milk, the latter uncorkin
q. itself as it fell. The poor neglected W
re man did not seem to be transporte
:, with gratitude for my attention. 81
70 snatched the shawl away from me an
,; said, with apparent vexation:
10 "There now, drat ye; looky at y
~ what you've done. Why can't ye mir
~ yer own business and leave other people
A. things aloneT'
at A ripple of subdued hilarity pass,
he through the car, and I resum,
tn my seat, fully resolved that if the mo
extravagantly lovely and loving gi
that ever blessed this world of ug
al men, should come into that car and h
W head should fall off her shoulders al
ar drop into my lap, would kick
es savagely out of the window and snarl !:
he keep your lumpy old woodel
be puukin head out of the way if "
nv don't want it tromped onto"
If
as ALBANY has a policeman named A
,et pie. We take it he is seedy fello