Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1878-04-11
humorous.

eilO grave
"A Tennessee paper has poem
entltled, "Smile whenever YOU can. 3"
Nhiskey is cheap in that State
Compliments are the coin that we
pay man to his face; sarcasm is what
we pay him with behind his back.
-" Never mind these over-dressed
people. If the is vanity in the head,
why hang out the sign by all means.
"A competent authority says
OF this:- yill please take notice
" lcnlSan University he's its fe-
haie Dudt cruz Our mailing clerk is
an applicant tor the position of boat
swain.
An old negro cook said ''Sass is
powerful good in eberything but child
rem. Dey need some other sort ob
dressing"
A Bridgeport man courted his
wife seven years and after living with
her two, now acknowledges it was a
| court of errors.
Probably the hymn 81 would
NV llN0 diN hsto III NCi ~ tOAt 81
appropriately sung as at a hanging
that recently took place in Tennessee.
An Irish paper, describing late
| duel, says that one OF the combatants
was shot through the " tleshy part OF
the thigh bone . Fatal, Of course
1.-THE smiles of home are exceed
| lngly pleasant, - says novelist. True.
but some fellows like to smile " with
a friend in the bar around the corner
Men are like cold, easy to catch,
dlsagreeable to have about and hard to
get rid OF. 20 says Jerusha Green on
the authority Of her married sister.
= penny for your thoughts,
ri,l .lTbo,, ~ not worth a farthing,
-. e. ,,-aa t;a.ll.inG Of you"
-. , q. nn,p]dIe ages in France. a
person convicted Of being a calumniator
was condemned to place himself on all
tours and bark like dog for a quarter
of an hour. If this custom were
adopted in the present day, wouldn't
there be some b0w-wowing
"A Boston shOpkeepersue for dam
ages because his store was shortened
twenty feet by the widening of street.
and in the trial was asked whether he
had not thus obtained a stronger and
better light. He answered that he had.
"Then why do you claim damages ?''
" Because" was the reply, " in this
locality, the quality of goods sold re-
quires the poorest light
A SAILORS OPINION OF A COMET. -
We were told by celebrated naval
officer the following anecdOte. On
one of his cruises the sailors saw a
comet, and were somewhat surprised
and alarmed at It's appearance. The
hands met, and appointed committee
to wait on the commander to ask
his opinion Of it. They approached
him and said, 1--WE want to ask your
opinion, your honor. j." Well. nv
boys, what is it about I? -" We want
to inquire about that thing up there. y
Now, before l answer you. first let me
know what you think it is ?"-Well.
your honor, we have talked it over, and
we think it is star sprung leak. -
HORNETS. The dictionary-maker
says the hornet is Large brown wasp
of an extremely pugnacious DISPOSE
ton He is certainly all that and
something more. Though he usually
minds his own business, he believes
that possession is nine points in the
law and one ortwo to spare. Whoever
trespasses on his premises stands six
chances in half dozen to get blow
between the eyes that he won't forget
during the remainder of his natural
life. The weapon he strikes with is
always red hot, and he will hit the spot
he aims at as often as Buffalo Bill.
Under these circumstances, when
you find a hornets nest it is always
safest for you to get behind tree, and
let the other fellow throw clubs at the
hornets. 1t is not at all funny to get
stung yourself, but it is immensely
funny to see another man get stung.
Were l a composer Of proverbs, | should
say it is better to kiss your sweetheart
than to have a hornet get up your
trowsers-leg. Personally should rather
keep school aA1 board round than be
stung by hornets
Some men no are smart in other
respects don't seem to understand how
to manage these representatives of en-
tomology. have seen men who knew
enough to keep a hotel that couldn't
boss single hornet
1t is very trying to PERSONS verbal
morality to meet IN battle and be van
pushed by one or several of these in
sects. Should you ever happen to no.
lice man under these circumstances
and he does not say damn, you can
make up your mind that he is Chris
tian.
1t was hornet who, not many years
ago, invented the art of making paper
from wood. All other manufacturers
are Infringing on his patent.
OF the paper which he manufactures
he builds his nest or house. the walls of
which are composed of some half a
dozen thicknesses, with air spaces be-
tween, as protection against cold and
storms. In the centre of the nest is the
nursery, which consists of several Law
ers of comb, one above the other. and
all united by columns. These sections
of comb often contain hundreds of cells.
from half an inch to an inch in depth
the open portion being downward. AT
the bottom ornore properly the top OF
each cell a small oval egg is deposited,
which rapidly developes into a grub,
ana 'front.', IRON the grub into pale and fee
n nee looS M JuIS@ile hornet. Faod snf,
1t is fully matttred is placed in the cell,
and the door is closed with a thin wall
of paper.
When the youthful Mr.. H. thinks
himself able to face frowning world
ne eats his way through the door Of his
4 cell and ~