The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1878-05-30
Select Stury.
HIRAM JENKINS MISTAKE,


observer that the errand he was bounC
upon was of no common importance
No man could have arrayed himself 81
sergeously simply for the purchase OF
tub of fall butter or yoke of steers. Hi
hair was in state of distressing smooth
ness, and seemed almost part of thu
glossy hat which covered it. His Goa
and pantaloons were marvels in thei
way, and his boots, which had been elab
orately blacked, reflected back the rayi
OF the setting sun in a manner perfectly
binding to the beholder. And yet, not
withstanding his superiority in all these
respects to the lilies of the fields, there
was apparent in his actions a singular
sort of nervousness, q trepidation almost
which rendered his appearance at once
ridiculous and awkward. This trepida'
ton was in no wise lessened by the sud
den vision of an urchin watching him
from the barn door, and who, as the team
approached, with a widnening grin
sped off in the direction of the farm
house, and disappeared through the
kitchen door. Hiram was conscious a
minute afterwards of being the target for
half dozen pairs of eyes from the sit.
ting room windows, and it required ex-
traordinary strength of mind on his part
TO drive past the house to theshed where
the horses of all visitors were hitched.
There are few more awkward things to
do than to get out of carriage when wo-
men are watching, and though Hiram
had probably never thought of the
fact before he fully experienced its
truth, as endeavoring to spring gen.
teelly from the buggy his foot slipped on
the wheel, and he came down on biz
hands and knees in the dirt. His re-
marks as he scrambled to his feet were
confined to one word, but that though
short, was the most expressive one in the
English language,
"I'n have to 60 round to the barn pump
and wash my hands before l 60 in, he
said to himself. 81 suppose they are
having their fun out Of me in the house
now. Confound it, l wish had not
started"
As he passed the door of the horse
barn, which was partly opened, he
heard the sound of voices. He listened,
and his heart sank as he recognized the
tones of his rival, Elnathan Rogers.
81 want her bad," !" he was saying, "She
lust suits me. You can't always have her
you know, and you'd better call the thing
settled"
~ don't know about that" answered
the deacon doubtfully. II have always
said, come what would, l wouldn't
part with Jenny. But you hang on so, l
don't know"
"Say it's bargain, deacon. Pve
thought it over good while, and Jenny
must have. I'll treat her well, you may
be sure of that"
The deacon hesitated, blew his nose,
and fnally said
"She's got some little tricks that no.
body knows anything about but me,
and don't want to impose upon a neigh
bor."
"Oh, pshaw that's only an excuse,
deacon. Pm willing to risk it,"
"She kicked me in the stomach, last
winter, and bit little Sammy not more
than six weeks ago. lean show you the
scar now"
Great kingw thought Hiram. "But
here | was going to pop the question this
very night. Who would have ever
thought it?"
'I'Il take that out of her." said Elna.
than, continuing the conversation. "lf
she so much as lifts her foot against me,
I'll give her lickin' that will last a
click /" calculated Hiram to himself,
astonished beyond measure. "Lick
Jenny Bates Well, this goes ahead of
ever heard of. And the old
man doesn't say word What next ?"
A pause ensued, which was at last bro
ken by the deacon.
"Well, if you must have her, you must.
expect the old lady'll want something
10 say about it, she thinks as much of
Jenny as lido, Won't you come into the
house ?"
mot now. I've got to go down to the
village before dark. I'll be round some
lime tomorrow"
Hiram Jenkins waited until he saw
MS successful rival climb the fence be.
tween the two farms. Then he deliber-
ltely unhitched his horse, got into the
wagon and drove off, never casting a
ook toward the window where the fair
Jenny sat in watChful expectation. Not
lntil he reached his own door did he
lrsw long breath,
at seems like dream" said he, slow
y unbuCkling the harness. "To think of
Jenny Bates kicking her own father and
biting her little brother, and she looking
ls though butter wouldn't melt in her
mouth. 1t is Just as mean though, in the
deacon to lick as tits for her to kick.
The old bypocrite Well, l must say Pm
nightly deceived in the Bateses. l
Ppose Elnathan Rogers feels cranky
snough now he's got her. just hope
hell kick his head off Lucky for
ne l overheard what l did"
Notwithstanding this self.Congratula.
DAOuJ AAldh lCI1 Oil LllO phuRo vi ulbhp- |
Dointment and jealousy. He had not
only lost his girl, but had been cut out in
The most mortifying manner by
man he held in thorough contempt.
He felt that even with what he knew of
Jenny's faults, if he could gain her
hand he would carry her off in spite
of his rival or the deacon either.
A week passed by and Jenny was
never out Of Hiram's thought. One day
be went to the village, and while there,
standing in front of the pOstoffice, Elna-
than Rogers drove by with the deacon's
mare.
II s'pose now he's got Jenny, he thinks
he's got a right to the whole property"
muttered Hiram. 81 wish to gracious
The old mare would put her feet through
he dash. board"
That night the singing school met at
The Academy. Hiram came late. He
nsed to sit with the tenors just behind
Jenny Hates. Now he chose different
seat, and tried hard to sing bass. He
,ov,lI 80 o1p oaainp Elnothov,