The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-06-27
PASSING SMILES.
1T is among the Indians that knowl-

1T is among the Indians that knowl-
edge is pow-wow-er.
QUERY for our naturalist readers
Can cat dog your foo,steps9
| How few faults are there seen by us,
which we have not ourselves committed
THE heart is book which we ought
not tear in our hurry to get at the con-
tents.
1T is with life as with coffee; he who
drinks it pure must not drain it to the
dregs.
SOME men are SO awful slow that the
only time they get ahead is when they
buy cabbage.
Duty is not pleasant, but cheap. Per-
| severance is the best school Tor every
manly virtue.
SPEAKING of tornado which had Wis
tied her town, an old lady said: " Every
thing was swept as with the beeswax of
| destruction"
+ The Ha,ckeye tells of tramp who
| asked for a loaf of bread, plate of po-
tatoes, and a round of beef, .'to fill
long-felt want"
THERE is wonderful power in imagi-
nation, but it gets weak in the knees
when it undertakes to shoulder circus
lemonade.-BreakJast Table.
ALL prosperous men can give good
counsel, and they like to do it; it costs
them nothing. 1t is easy to declaim
against feasting, when the stomach is
full.
SAVING is a habit-like smoking or
taking snuff, or like extravagance. If
you begin it and go on with it for a
little time, you come to have passion
for it.
WHY is playing chess a more exem-
plary occupation than playing cards?
Because at chess you play with two
bishops, and at cards you play with four
knaves.
THE only way to know the length,
breadth and thickness ov a parents luv,
is to bekum a parent yurself, and l ad-
wise yu to do it the fust honest chance
yu kan git.
The difference between the preacher,
the builder, and the architect of the
church, is simply this: One is the rector,
the other the erector, and the third
the director.
BRYANT-179E1S7S. rz
"The melancholy days have come,
The saddest of the year."
When he we loved and lauded long,
As poet patriot, seer
Struck by the certa n common doom,
Lies pulseless ou his bier.
We mourn his death, a nations loss;
Such was the high esteem
All held the sages household name,
That none will esre to deem
This trua' trihute to his worth,
Aught but a heartfelt theme.
-Erratic En- ique, tn N Y. Post.
SIT down and think it "ver. Did you
ever know little man who could cut a
| watermelon or make motion at a eau
Gus without an air of fussy importance?
l--Breakfast Table.
PROFESSOR Miss O., tell me what
is that instrument called by which we
ascer, ain musical pitchT' Miss Q. (hes-
itatingly) GA p1tch-fork." An audible
giggling in the class.
A PRETTY schoolmistress in Maiden,
Mass, kept boy fifteen minutes after
school as a punishment, and when the
time was up he asked her if she couldn't
make it half an hour.
In most quarrels there is fault on
both sides. Both flint and steel are
necessary to the production of spark.
Either of them may hammer on wood
forever, and no fire will follow.
GUsTAvE DoRE is finishing sculp-
tural group called ''The Prize of Glory"
which represents young hero dying be-
meath the Kiss of Glory. What a pity
that Frenchman rant say &c Yum, yum l''
"No man." said a wealthy but weak
headed barrister, "should be admitted
to the bar who hadn't an independent
landed property" "May / ask, sir"
said Curran, chow many acres make a
wiseacre?'
IT will be many years before the tele-
phone and the phonograph succeed the
red-hair' d woman with a sun-bonnet
who lives in the center of the village,
and who inquiries daily over her back
fence what The news is.
THERE was a period of over one
,, thousand years in the history of this
world when doors had no keyholes, and
; a citizen could be seen feeling all over
the door without exciting the least sus-
picion against his social standing.
TWO TO ONE.
Thou hast two ears, and but one mouth;
$ For much there is that thou must hear,
1 | And little say.
1 Thou hast two eyes, and but one mouth;
u Ponder the reason well;
r Full many things thou art to see,
! And few things tell.
q Thou asst two hands and but one mouth;
e Nature has rightly done,
4 For she has given tive for work,
For eating, one.
A STORY was told of man who got
. very tipsy at county house, was
= tarred and feathered and put to bed
4 He awoke, still tipsy, in the morning
: reeled over to the looking-glass and ex
: claimed" Become bird, by Jove"
y "WHo was the doubling disciple p
e asked the Sunday-school teacher
d "Peter," promptly replied the small
N bad boy. "No, Thomas" said tn
le teacher. "Then what do people Away
re say Petered out forT' asked the smar
e. bad boy.
to "THE Praeger NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
n WochenblaH recommends the sting o
ut bees as a cure for rheumatism" Blu
n, what does it recommend for locklaw
re caused by the patient attempting to pre-
I'd poupce its name? Probably the kick G
ne a mule would unlock it.
Il, SHE (bewitchingly)-"Oh, I'm so gla
IL you are going to see me to my carriag.
MIR. Brownpf He (fatteredI-" Indeed
And may 1 ask why?' She" oh, D.
cause the girls are so jealous, and
60 want to prove that / do not monopolli