The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1878-11-05


IcoSE LIT SRArcH.
He Who falls asleep on a mast, he who
takes IRE into . magazine, he who dallies
wish sin, and he who delays repentance,
are running . race to find out which Of
them IL the greatest fool.
Yea, but the man that tries to get along
without newspaper wins the stakes.
There are an abundance Of dry-eyed
christians in the world and IN abundance OF
dry duties, too-du,ies that never were wet
With tears Of cOntritiOn.
That may be. There may be those dry
eyed christian ,lnties, and vet We have seen
christian women weep as they grtaed
horseradish.
When a Philadelphia husband comes
home late his wife makes him say "Clax-
ton, Remsen 4 Hafiel6nger, which il
book publishing firm in that city.
Which il very good advertising for the
above 6rm. Let our suspicious danes
smell their liege Lords breath and make
them say, "truly rural" 1.-THE au,ocrat of
the breakfast table says 'tooral trural."
depend on il something's wrong.
No m.n can 60 to heaven when he
dies who has not sent his heart thither
while he lives.
This accounes for something We have
never been able to understand before. We
meet ~ many Who have no heart, and in
our ignorance condemned them ~ scala
vags. We beg pardon. They have sent
their hearts to heaven! All, yes, We see
into il nov.
Maud Granger, tie pretty actress, was
formerly q Connecticut type setter. We
knew printer who would like to set up
with her.-N0riAoun Herald
And We know another who would like to
take On impression" oil her form The
Castiliaa.
And We know another Who would like to
be''locked" in her fem WAuehaH Times.
BOT none Of you fellows will get chance
to pull of the frat sheet.
1T is not often that one woman marries
a commodore and whole garrison at the
acme time.-HladeipAid Bulletin.
There ought to be brigade OF infantry
soon. Mo- rations!
The father Of James German, living
With him At Talmage, Mich, is 10 years
old, and hss voted at every election since
ne came to this country many years ago.
The old cu& must travel at reduced rates.
"A Pennsylvania auctioneer sold muh
worth shout SO for So, and dropped dead
while taking the money. The doctors try
70 make out that he had the heart disease
That's abolition lie. He died Of mO.tiii.
cation because he did not get S25. Besides
IN auctiOneef never had heart.
"A fatal disease has broken ont among
the sheep in Audrain county. The animal
becomes dull and stupid; the ears drop
forward, the eyes are leaden there il an Of
fensive matter that exudes from the nose.
And nov its got among the Kansas City
EDITOR. Their ears droop until they drag
the ground they, too. get dull and stupid
terribly stupid their horns fall of, and
the offensive matter flows from their pens
instead Of their nose. The animal finally
curls himself up in the Paste-Pot and dies.
"A careful theological student has dis
covered that the most prominent light Of
Bible times was the Israelile.
Yes, and they followed . pillar Of ere.
That same pillow IL around yet, and has s.
abIe-bodied bed-buss to the square inch.
III you wish to travel eheaply .patronize
those railroads which advertise to carry
their passengers Through withoutchange."
It's TACT, though and if you have any
change By the time you get through, it's
because you hide it in yosr boots.
"A ladies' club, in London, il about
breaking up, the members being hopelessly
divided on the great question a TO the pro-
business lestera
The ladies' clubs in this country break
up from different reason. One end 10 used
for sweeping, and the other is-well, court
plaster, and not sealing wax, is required.
"A French paper tells the following a.
true: A man arrived the other evening at
he Luxemburg garden, inst ~ the gates
we're being shut. He said: II have hur-
RED back; left my wife in here on
bench" The gate-keeper replied: IL am
very sorry; the garden will not be open
until to morrow.
How we'll thst garden would be patron
ised in this country. We seem to see now,
in our minds eye, long procession Of hus-
bands leading their wives to that garden
Just before shutting up time.
There il On Italian who supports
family from one acre Of ground in Cali
iornis.
We know fellow Who supports family
from fifteen feet Of ground. But you bet
Iour life be has got saloon on top oft.
It "Busted."
A boy about fourteen years Of sge, whose
'sms Ne could not learn, had an accident
'sppen 10 him yesterdays He VA shooting
'ieeons near DOushertys dairy. south Of
own, with an old muskes. He loaded his
'iece With Cat powder, and when he pulled
be trigger the charge inflated and crisis
ollOvsd. In the panic the musket flew to
ieces, one Of which twisted and curlel, lies
o our desk. That boy was the worst
carced specimen Of humanity for . few
minutes that has been seen in that neigh
orhOod for some time. When all the pre-
incts were heard from, the boy brought
,em into the city - specimens Of his dam
boolishness. He vas nnhurt.
If you want to build q
ouse, 70 to Thomas & Co. for.
ardware. - he u selling low.
A. IN 49, -