The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-10-24


To which he put his shears;
Then came insinuatiOns dark,
And reptile rivals hinted
The handbilI did reflect the town
Or hamlet-where twas printed;
That patriotic editor
Would clank his warlfke shears
And revei in the fierce delight
OF battle with his peers
He'd grant a rivals postulates,
And add suppose that they did,
As with an awning, by our ears
We, at least. are not shaded"
'Our brother thinks the Clarion by
His logic is perplexed:
The engraving shows what he is like
IN. B.-Feet in our neXt.l'
II.
But not for this the editor
Neglected what was new;
He gathered the local item up,
He wrote out the interview,
Ending GOOD morning. SIR Good day
Our reporter then Withdrew
When prominent citizen broke his leg.
An old residents house did burn.
The Clarion printed an item that
Began we regret to learn"
There were shocking fatalities galore,
And never an issue went
Without mention made of the fire-fend
And devouring element.
III.
But On, and alas! the public.
As ancient bartis do sing,
Is too oft for its best newspapers
- hydrant-headed thing"
There Is in the average village
No single average man
Who can't turn out a better sheet
He thinks then the editor can.
And to the Western Editor
TIE villagers would throng,
To show him disinterestedly
That all he did was wrong.
His paragraph one found too short,
Another found too long.
There was but a single article
That all seemed crazed about,
And that through pressure on his space.
Alas, was crowded out.
Then when he printed it next week
Each subscriber round did caper.
And made remarks cannot speak,
Concluding stop my paDerp'
".
He was a crafty editor,
The editor sing,
So he bade the prominent citizens
Unto town meeting,
And to those prominent citizens
He spoke the following thing:
.'Since / have been here in your midst
Your kind advice doth show
How very little indeed it is
OF journalism | know.
! go afar, on passes borne,
A holiday to seek;
Here are my pencils and my shears
And my trusty pastc-pot exc.
Take them; get out my newspaper
Until ! come again."
I'LL show you what a paper should be-"
Quoth each prominent citizen.
v
II was but two weeks later
When the editor came back,
Ashe lighted down from his dusty train
He said to himself, "AlacH,
Is that the plying of blacksnake whips7
Was that a pistols crack?
Do l see at the dusty jai-windows
OF prisoners heads host?
Is that prominent citizen
Dangling at yon lamp-post?
Is that prominent citizens house
Is burning to the ground?
Arc columns ofitems lying round loose
And is no reporter found?
Where are the prominent citizens
l left in charge-Oh. where?"
he ehastened to his office-door
And bounded UP the stair.
There he found a prominent citizen
Was pasting up his ear,
Who as he heard the entering step
Exclaimed, He is not here!
never wrote the paragraph
An apology will be craved,"
Then, when he knew the editors face
He tainted, crying, "Saved!'
VI.
The editor bathed his brow with ink.
With paste his mangled ear.
And when the citizen came to
A tale of woe did hear.
Each thought he could the paper run
When he couldn't, worth n cent;
But if they had taken my advice
The case had been different.
When the first number had come out
Two days late-there arose
Wild howl and writs in libel-suits
Came like leaves in Vallambrosa.
Each citizen had an axe or spite
To grind or crafty;
And each did crafty or grind
His axe or spite-save
The Jail is crowded with editors,
Who, awaiting t,ial, lie
Beneath indictments for libel found
And malicious calumny.
There was one vigorous paragraph,
It's author was Judge Bangs.
He wrote big church scandal up
Yonder his body hangs.
Smith wrote the Common Council up.
The screed was full of nous
The tiremeu reruSelto come
And save his dwelling house.
Each prominent citizen editor,
Looking as black as sin,
The other prom. cit, editor
Seeketh to find them in.
He seeketh them at the Office
From morning until night
And when he findeth confrere
Straightway there is fl4ht.
Take back, then, this palladium
Ofthe liberties Of the nation:
The prominent citizens honored post
1t Is the private station"
VII
For weeks the Editor labored
His periIS TO avert.
With, Through & provoking typo
And. lowing 10 an iuadver, -
And when he had things Strengthened
And attained 10 power and pglf,
The surviving prominent citizens
Let him run the Clarion himself.
New York, June ISIS G. T. L.
To some pungent remarks of proft
Sional brother, a Western lawyer COZ
menced his reply as follows: MAY
please the Court: Resting on the couch
republican equality rs l do, covered wi
the blanket Of constitutional panoply as
am, and protected by the agis of Anne,
can liberty as 1 feel myself 70 be,
spise the buzzing Of the professional
sect who has just sat down, and defy |
fu+;Ia attar,r,+S IN r,.Dptr1fa with his nm