The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1878-11-07
standard
STANDARD PARAGRAPHS.


By the way, can't some Democratic exchahSe
publish that Fraud Pyramid" again?
"Destructive prairie fires raging near Kear
neyv' Well, we wish they would take him in
Cincinnati is fal ling behind she should look
to her laurels; she has, as yet, no suit again ST
Mr.. Tilden.
Tilden will not, as reported, marry Miss
Hazeltine, of st. Louis She does not cipher
him.
If your small boy cries out piteously in the
night, do not become frightened; II isn't dip
liberia it isn't scarlet fever; its chestnuts!
Young man go and get married, right away
Think of all the troubles that have come to
poor old Mr.. Tilden. Don't be an old bachelor.
The young gent who wrapped the cloak of
manhood about him." found it wouldn't do,
this frosty weather. He has purchased new
jeans suit.
The country at large is rejoicing over the fact
that Jim Anderson has made another, ana MS
only true, staten ent.
An exchange says that surprise is one of the
principal elements of wit" But the man who
gets up in the night and stumbles over the coal
scuttle, doesn't feel bit witty.
Parson Grubbs was surprised by donation
party. Among the presents was box of eggs.
"Ahp' said the parson, as he looked at them,
''I see, Isee-a gift fir )m the lay-members! J!
A Waverly paper after compliment1ng the
Democracy of Pike, for their glorious work at
the recent election, is now calling for an addf-
ton TO the County Jail building.
There's good deal OF numbering going on IN
Indiana, but somehow the murderers don't get
hold of the right man. Perhaps he's laid aside
his blue jeans, and they don't recognize him.
Sorie students at University in California,
undertook to do little "hazing," when one of
them was shot. The abominable Workmanship
of the shooter is TO be deplored for he didn't
skill his man."
They recently tapped Bayard Taylor for
dropsy and took a large quantity of water from
him. 1t is a subject of surprise to his
friends as they hadn't known of his drinking
any water.
"Why." says old Sammy ilden, ''you talk
about my using barrel of money-there was
no money-the barrel contained no money,
none at all-it contained at most mere cipher.
The Republicans of the Eighth District, in
New York, have nominated Francis Gotter-
dam for the Assembly. and the men OF sin
claim that he's Gotterdam good chance OF cleo
ton.
When a monarch wants to make himself
popular, these days, all he has to do Is 10 get
some lunatic to fire blank cartridge at him,
from an old horse pistol
The brewers of Cincinnati agree to contribute
ten thousand dollars towards the Exposition
building, on the condition that they be per-
mitted to turn the building into an immense
beer-garden, during the progress of the Expo
sition.
The red-shirt Democracy now tear down the
National colors, at Republican meetings IN
South Carolina. They can't forget that thai IS
the flag under which the Republican party
gave them most unmerciful drubbing, once
upon a time.
A Fayette County girl was married to man
in Colorado, by telegraph. In the not far dis
tant future, when she whacks him over the
head with the broomstick, he will think, as he
notes the sparks sailing about his head, that
the power of electricity is with them still
Jones. of the Waverly Watchman, speaks of
the "defunct Republican party" Jones, Just
step over and tell old Emmitt when 1T
died. He'd like to know.
In the light of recent events that old En-
quirer editorial reads like the voice OF prom
esy: "Tilden would, if elected, give US the
most corrupt aQlnlnlSlralIOu the COUNTY mas
ever known"
The Marietta Times says that the turkeys are
are not scared about any Thanksgiving proc
lamation Hayes may issue, "because he isn't
President" No, it isn't Hav es that makes the
turkey lose his sleep; it's watching the Demo-
crat at the foot of the tree.
They have been holding Convention in
New York 10 discuss the second coming OF
Christ. The Convention is untimely, gentle
men! Just think of the probable complexion
of the next House of Representatives!
Elder Readywit has taken for the subject of
new discourse, the question, "When shall the
resurrection be?" That, dear Elder is geo.
graphical question. If you're buried in Ohio,
it will probably be about eight hours after
you're laid to rest
81 saved, said Jim Doolan, after the Manhat-
tan Savings Bank robbery, "fully thousand
dollars on that shebangv "And how's that
Jim ?" asked his wife. "Shure, by not having
it to put into the bank !' answered Jim. "Ah,
Jim, an it's yersilf that allus was av savin'
turn ~
AN AUTUMNAL SCENE.-The hunter now
goeth forth in the early hours of the frosty
morning: he taketh with him the lean, lank
"pointer - he heareth in the distant fields, the
merry piping of the quail thither at once he
taketh his way ; the ."pointer" runneth over
the fields, until he scents the game, when he
standeth immovable, with horizontal nose and
tall the hunter approacheth, with ready gun,
and giveth the word "go in ~ The quail riseth
in the air; bang! bang Off goes the gun {.
likewise the quail.