The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1878-11-20
WIT AND HUMOR.

WIT AND HUMOR.
A grand shell race-The oyster.
A home stretch-0ver q mothers knee
Puck.
Members of the bar-Gymnasts.-Elmi |
Advertiser.
Is the fellow who tends an oyster saloon
an oyster super
1t seems rather odd to see two men playing
seven-up for a DINNER that is to be eightup
William NJ. Evarts' mouth will hold four
wards of the English language without
crowding.
When YOU wake up at night and hear the
BABY crying, look out for danger-for there's
a rock ahead.
A defeated candidate on being asked how
he felt responded bitterly, Like Lazarus
licked by the dogs.'-Boston Advertiser,
II when a woman tries to whistle that
the great glory of her mouth is seen without
being heard very much.-Andrews bazsar.
Kentucky editor says that in one week
he was addressed as Governor" General,
Colonel" Major" 'Parson," and "old
| Hoss."
THANKSGIVING proclamations are pouring
| fourth In great abundance, and the turkey
feels disconsolate, in spite of the republican
/ victories.
Boston may have, as she claims, the pref
/ TEST girls; but it Is an established TACT that
| they have to go away from home TO get gooo
| husbands.
"Will YOU settle that old account of yours
this morning7n said q seloonist. mo, sir;
Won are mistaken in the Inan; am not one
of the old settlers"
"Are you going to sell that horse?" he
incurred of the auctioneer. That's the
horsetensible object of this sale" was the
reply.-Keokuk Constitution.
A correspondent sends US some verses and
asks IF ten cents line would be too much. y
No. ten cents line would not be too much
for clothes line or steamboat line.
A little boy was shown the picture of the
martyrs thrown into the lions. He startled
his friends by shouting: "Ma! oh, ma! Just
look at that poor little lion way behind there
, he won't get any."-Orphan paragraph.
A painters apprentice fell off scsffold
with a pot of paint In each hano. he wa
taken up insensIble, but as soon as he was
restored to consciousness, he murmured: VI
went down with flying colors, anyhow.
: ayes. Ike" said Mrs. Partington, reflect
| 1yely, as her son IVES reading aloud The
| weekly list of deaths, 81 have knowed goo6
! many folks to die of suggestion of the brain
q but it amt 50 common as 1t used to be"
A bad Young man Of Meridian street toll
l | his grandmother, whose memory is littl
3 lame, that the end of winter was almost here
Z He neglected to state which end, and tn
, | good old soul now relates, as her most re
!. markable experience, winter without fros
- or snow.
d "Joh.ny," said sporting Third war
: father, Johnny, what have you got In you
e fstg" Two pears, said Johnny. GOO
s take the pot" Then he blushed, an
pointing to brass kettle, he added, It
your mother"
!, "Show me people," says Froude, "whos
70 trade "a dishonest, and / will show you
~ people whose religion is a sham" All rlgh
u Mr. Froude says the Hawkeye, come OF
here next spring and take look at the PEI
.e 10 pie who sell quart OF strawberries In pli
and q half box.
at The other day an old lady presented he
8, self at the booking office of the central Sc
p ton, Newcastle, and inquired what time tt
train started for New York. Clerk
~ i%.a5n % Old Lsdy-"Wey. thor's a port,
,u telpd me lust moo it waddent leave till
ausrter to two. Moo, which on yeteyta
ng believer"
vytt II took three men, two boys and brind
- dog an hour and halt to drive sandy
~ a distance of two blocks down to the fer
boat yesterday afternoon. When the wea
=, some drive was ended the dog was DIT
IT three places the boy had sprsIned his ankl
broken two windows by throwing stones
"A | the pig one of the men was tired TO dea
=" and the other two were drunk, and the J
was two miles back from the river, goi
20 west and sarcastically asking people 1T M
'' n they could tell it where the Burfnge
M ferry crossed the Mississippi.
he The following epitaph is authentic, bel
sh- taken from the diary OF well known sto
cutter OF a neighboriDg city:
nat Please. stranger pause and hold thy breath
the Here lies my dear wife Polly;
,ur She was cut down by cruel death,
ten Who stopped her human folly.
ed.
,ay Her tongue was longer than her Life,
'er- But she's at rest, you see;
)ve Death granted to my darling vile
ex- What she d not grant to me.
II,
e IL | She oft was chilled when In tie air,
z. When cold would strike her brow;
But it has been my constant prayer
me That she's stnot chilly now"
the