Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-11-20
Jones and the Barber.
Oil City Derrick.

AL LII LII luck, Sa1Q Jones, as he
entered the barber shop and found the
barber reading the paper; won't have
to wait for my next" and he tossed his
hat into a corner and seated himself for
q shave.
GLOW is this?" said the barber, read
ing from a paper that marks its witty
column with blue pencil. "By George.
how's this! Pretty good, take it" and
he read: ....
"Did you ever see "a pump handle
anything? Did you ever see q witty
clsm? Who ever see a dog call her?'
And the good barber laughed heartily
at these scintillations Of wit, and said
that "Some of them fellers are most
blamed clever"
Then be turned to the yellow fever
department, and, after reading three
or four dispatches, asked Jones if he
thought the scourge would reach Oil
City.
Jones said there was a possibility that
it would get there by the middle of the
winter, and he would like to be shaved
and fixed up before it arrived.
The barber said it was terrible thing.
yawned, laid down the paper, and
shutfled up to the chair. He arranged
the towels about Jones' neck. felt of
his beard, run his fingers through his
hair, scrutlnized wart on the side of
mis- nose, turned his lower lip down over
his chin, and asked him if he had his
tooth fixed in the oil regions or in New
York.
Jones answered as best he could. con-
sidering that the barber still kept his lip
hauled down taut.
After examining the dental work on
the tooth, which he unhesitatingly pro-
nounced "a good job" the barber let
go Jones lip, and went out to throw a
stone at dog that was barking at cat
in the back yard
When he came back Jones said he
would like to be shaved as quickly as
possible, as he was in mewhat of a
hurry.
certainly, certainly" said the bar
Der, us he spread the lather over Jones'
face and began to hunt for a razor.
After examining several, he began to
slap the strap with one, while he re-
marked that fall had probably set in
in earnest, and that the base ball fever
was about as bad as ever, etc. Giving
the razor one pull down over the side of
Jones face, he wiped off the blade,
laid it down, took up another, examin-
ed it's edge, and whipped the strap
with 1t as before, asking Jones if he
really thought business was picking
up any, and if he thought it would
rain.
Jones moved uneasily on the stocks,
and said he was sure there would be a
storm, and he wanted to get shaved and
have his moustache waxed before the
flood came.
The barber grew pale around the
mouth, and his lip quivered. "You said
that once BEFORE" he remarked CURLY,
Don't say ii again, please, or there'll
be trouble. Pm a gentleman when deal
ing with gentleman; but know when
I'm insulted, sir"
"Well, confound it ALL" exclaimed
Jones, very much out of patience. II
came here to be shaved, and not to be
talked to DEATH ...a..
ooh! you Want to be shaved, do
your" exclaimed the barber, in a rage
"You don't want to be talked to death,
don't you? A barber can't open his
mouth, can't he? 0 mo! a barber is a
doggoned machine, [ suppose, and
must move about his work like a
wooden Injun IN front Of cigar store.
All right, all right! you shall be shaved
and have your moustache waxed so
blamed fast it'll make your head
swimW 81. .s..
And, buckling down to his work, he
shaved Jones in two minutes and a half
by the watch, and cut him seventeen
times by actual count. 20
MOral-Let a barber talk. 1t is cheap
er than to be kept away from business
for two or three days while you stop
bleeding. ,aa. s@ ass b s..aE ear
A VALUABLE DIsCovERY.-It is an
open secret that a party of about ten
prospectors have discovered a new gold
bearing quartz lead about five miles
from this city, which is said to be Of
immense width. One wall rock of quartz
tie can be traced for four miles; the
other, of porphyry, running parallel to
it, has been traced an equal distance;
and between the two, a distance of3,OOO
feet lies this enormous body of gold
bearing quartz. The ore assays from
500 to $40 per ton. The rock is of a
da1k color, carrying pyrites of iron in
large quantities. CoIors are obtained IN
every pan prospected. The rumor also
says that the whole ledge has been
pooled, and a value of $10.OO0,OOO
placed uponit. At present force of
fifteen men are engaged opening it up.
Specimens of the rock left at this Office
look we'll. and are good Tor sore eyes,
DeadWood Pioneer. II
The reindeer replaces the horse and
the OK where these animals could not
be utilized. In the Russian empire
there are computed to be about 1000
600, of which 100000 are in Europe.
In Siberia there are more than 100000.
The Koraks of eastern Siberia, who are
nomads, and live in skin tents, have
immense herds of reindeer, some tribes
owning not less than $4,000. These sup
ply their food, clothing, and means of
transport. The pride Of the Laplanders