The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1878-01-12
How Hexy Floored Old Gribbins.

az don't blieve | ever told you abou
the way Colonel Gribbins got used up il
making political speeches in hot cam
paign thirty years ago, with Sam Hex
ford did ?'' asked Uncle Parker:
No, he never had.
Well, the long an the short of i
was that Gribbins and Hexy, as we al
called him, was stumpin' the State to
gether givin' tint discussions on the
issues of the times. Gribbins was s
reg lar rattler on the stump, an they
hadn't been ON the road two days before
Hexy found out that he had mighty
big contract on hand. They was botf
good speakers, an either one on EN-
could hold an audience till they got hun
cry, an though Hexy was without the
least mite of doubt away ahead of the
old man in sound argument an con
vincin' doctrine, still Gribbins had the
faculty of dishin' up slashin' lot o
sarcasm, an slingin' it in jest at the
right time to tickle the crowd an either
spike all Hexy's biggest guns or turn
'em square rcnnd, an make 'em pint the
wrong way. Hexy didn't like this bit
for he was a young man, an it hurt him
like fury to see the laugh turned on him,
for he was, as matter of course, full O
vanity, an thought more of woman's
smile than mans vote. He kept a
weather eye on the old man, though,
studied all his pi'nts an lodges, an made
up his mind to get even with the old
fox, or never go home. But he had his
hands full, now, you're Jest right.
"The Colonel was an old stager, an
he didn't perpose to be caught nappin'
so whenever Hexy'd git pulled up a lit
tie with the conceit that he had got him
jest about where he wanted him, as soon
as the old man got the boards again, he'd
find himself worse took in than ever,
for away the old fellow would sail over
his head clear out of reach, with some
new piece o deviltry an cunnin' that
Hexy'd never dreamed Of 1t worried
the youngster like blazes. but he wasn't
the sort to throw up the sponge, an he
hung on with full confidence that he
would be able by some hook or crook to
yank the old silver-tongue around right
where he wanted him before he got
through, and that's Jest what he done.
" For three days Hexy watched the
old man like a hawk, an didn't let a
word or gesture git away from him.
Every look, every syllable, every move
of the hand, every smile, every twitch
o the lips, every squint O the eye, was
all marked an laid away for use when
the time come.
"About the third day, | think it was,
Hexy noticed that the Colonel had a
fashion O layin' his specks OH the stand,
an then about the time he got ready to
sling red-hot sarcasm thicker'n black
legs at a boss race, he'd pick 'em up, set
'em on his nose, an in less'n minute
shove 'em away back on his baId-head,
an then cut loose, an bile along with a
vengeance. All at onest it popped into
Hexy's head how Darn'l Webster had
foored the head boy at school by cuttin'
off button that he fumbled with while
sayin' his lesson, an he saw in minute
how he could straighten out the Colonel
in the same way. Before the speakin'
begun the next AFTERNOON he bought two
dozen pairs O. cheap specbs, of the same
pattern as the old mans an then laid
low for big game.
"That day the Colonel was feelin'
tip-top an ! rally blieve was outdoin'
himself. Hexy was settin' on the other
side O the stand from him, watchin' for
his chance. Bimeby, the old man picked
mp his specks as usual, clapped 'em On
his head an struck his gait. The next
minute Hexy laid another pair up on the
stand. Presently the old man acct
dentally put his hand on the stand, got
hold O. the specks, an showed 'em up
alongside O the tother ones. The au-
dience roared, which, s'posin' he'd made
a good pint, spurred him up an aged
him on. Well, Hexy kept on pilin'
more specks on to the stand, an the ole
rooster kept on chuckin' 'em up on to his
head till his old bald skull looked like
the show winder of silversmith shop,
the people all the while shoutin' harder
an harder, firm him up more an
more, for he took it all to be regular
applause, but all to onest he clapped his
hand down on that pile O. glassware, an
he was a lost man at that minute. The
most onspeakable helpless look come
over him anybody ever saw; his knees
shook together, an he tumbled wilted
an helpless into the chair, an didn't
make another speech durin' that cam
paign.
An that's the way Hexy foored old
Gribbins."