Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1878-09-20
Phaadelphia Chronicle Her

aid.
When fellow bequeaths his body to
medical college for dissection, that's
what you may consistently call "a dead
give away" -New York NeuS.
A man who calls himself hunter
shot deer in the Adirondacks the
other day. lie subsequently stood over
u farmers dead horse and sheled out
$50. -NorNich Bulletin.
Love may be blind, as they say, but
we notice that in all the records Of the
ages, it has never kissed the girls moth
or Nv mistake when it reaches after the
girl. Erchange.
The discovery has been made that
the world does not revolve with the
same motion that it did II thousand
years ago; but it still swings around fast
enough to satisfy the man wtha heavy
bill coming due.
"Wero there any aliens and strangers
among the Jews ut the time Of their
journey to the promised land" asked
the superintendent last Sunday. "No,"
replied the smart bad boy on the back
seat, "they were all to the NANNY born
School closed with singing.
Aunt Bela-"Now look here,
Tommy. Suppose there were three
apples on the table. Could i take one
and leave three? Tommy no.
Auntyl certainly not Aunt Bella
"And Why, Tommy? Tommy Be
cause il wouldn't be polite"
Jones and Brown were walking past u
Yonkcrs house one evening, when u
man, who appeared to have been
hurled violently from the doorway. fell
to the bottom OF the steps. "What do
you suppose knocked him down"
asked Brown. "Oh, rs usual, said
Jones, us lie caught sight Of the mans
wife, "woman was the power behind
the thrown
Some recently discovered inscrip-
tons ON burned bricks bring to light
the astonishing revelation that King
Ahasucrts hanged Hannah because he
invented the ACCORDION, and put the
price down to ono dollar and seventy
five cents, 50 that every man might
have onc.- Burlington Ha'cheye.
The last man will have an awfully
lonesome time Gift Nobody to borrow
money of; nobody to dun him or raise
his rent; no gas meter to make things
lively; no book agents; no liie-lnsur-
ance man, and no Oldest inhabitant to
declare that it's the most remarkable
weather We have ever had. keokak
Constitution.
A cutting rcjoinder.--A herd-boy, on
receiving his wages from his master,
purchased lantern. The master
quizzcd him rather sorcly on the point,
and asked him what he intended doing
with his lantern. "Pm gaun tae tax it
we me toe coort," was the reply. 81
II never used tae talks lantern wi
me the coort." answered the master,
81 thocht sac" mnttcred the boy; eyer
choice shows that.
A man may snecr ut u woman nil he
will because she can't sharpen II lead
pencil, but she mas the smile on him
when he stands holding an unoccu
pied suspender bottom in his hand, and
wondering whether it will hurt less TO
pull the needle out Of his thumb tile
same way it went in, OF push il on
Burlington HdWhcye
Full many Il Jim OF poorest razor cen
The deep, unlnthemed caves OF BARRIERS bear;
Full many n flour is burned when baked unseen,
Aud wastes Its wheatucsA, owing To the care
lcssness Of the cook, who leaves 1t IN the oven
while she stands out at the fence, telling liHbbs
cook how MIR. Tubb's cook liz going To have her
bonnet lrimmed.-NcW YORK Grdphic
oh the corn, the horrible corn,
burning at night ana aching ut morn;
Under somebody oothnlfn NJ the time,
Throbbing With misery almo-t sublime,
Painting,
Inlaming,
lllg as your list
show me the aign of the chi rop-s.dlst!
HMrlinniOM NNWk9Hr