The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1878-01-18
Mark Twainzs Eirst Impression
Of Bermuda.


There was an ample pier of heavy
masonry ppen this, under shelter, were
some thousands Of barrels containing thai
productxlich has carried the fame o
! Bermuda . many lands, the potato
With hfe and there an onion. That
last sent ace 5 facetious for they grow
at least two onions in Bermuda to one
potato 4hs onion is The joy and pride
of Bermxda. 1t is her jewel, her gem Of
gems ID her conversation, her pulpit,
her litsfslfre, it is her most frequent
and elesknt fg6re. In Bermudian
metapboE It stands for perfection-per-
fectio1 splute.
The ffmudian weeping over the
deparI khausts praise when hesays
q He " an~onion r. The Bermudian
setting son upon the stage of life TO
do aa'l gre for himself clinaxes all
couns DUPLICATION, admonition, com
prehe 81 ambition when he says:
sts51zo f.zls s<.-l e
When Pzfailei, with the pier, and zen
or fifteen steps outside it, we anchored.
1t was Sunday, bright and sunny. The
groups upon the per-men, youths and
boys---were whites and blacks in about
equal proportion. All were well and
neatly dressed, mny of them nsttily, a
few of them very stylishly. One would
have to travel far before he would find
another town Of twelve thousand inhabi-
tants tkat could represent itself so re-
specially, in the matter of clothes, on a
freight pier without premeditation or
effort. The women and young girls,
black and white, Who occasionally passed
by were nicely clad, and many were
elegantly and fashionably SO. The men
did not affect summer clothing much,
but the girls and women did, and their
white garments we're igood to look at,
after so many months of familiarity with
somber eolors.
Around one isolated potato barrel
stood four young gentlemen, TWO black,
two white, becomingly dressed, each
with the head of a slender cane pressed
against his teeth, and each with foot
propped on the barrel. Another young
gentleman came Up, looked longingly
at the barrel, but saw no Test for his
foot there, and turned pensively away to
seek another barrel. He wandered here
and there, but without result Nobody
sat upon barrel, as is the custom of the
idle in other lands; yet all the isolated
barrels were humanity occupied. Who
soever had q DOT TO spare put it on a
barrel, If all the places on it we're not
already taken. The habits of all peoples
are determined by their circumstances.
The Betmudians lean upon barrels be-
cause of the scarcity Of lamp-posts.
Many citizens came on board and
spoke eagerly to the oficers-inquiring
about the Turko-Russian war news,
supposed. However, by lis s.ening judi
ciously, 1 found that this was not so.
They said What is the price OF
e85 easss Z How's onions ..,t p, Naturally ally,
they dropped into the war the moment
1t was satisfied.
We went ashore and found novelty
of pleasant nature there were no hack
men, hacks or omnibuses on the pier or
about it anywhere, and nobody offered
his services to US, or molested us in any
way. said il was like being in heaven. /
The reverend rebukingly and rather
advised me to make the most
of it, then. We knew of a boarding
house. and what we needed now was
somebody to point us to it. Presently a
little barefooted colored boy CAME along,
whose raggedness was conspicuOusly
un- Bermudian. His rear was so marvel
ousiy bepatched with colored squares
and triaDgles that one was half persuaded
be had got it out of an atlas. When the
5En struck him right he was as good to
follow as a lightning bug. We hired
him and dropped into his wake. He
piloted US through one picturesque
street after another, and in due course
deposited us where we belonged. lie
charged US nothing for his map and but
Il trihe for his services, so the reverend
doubled it. The little chap received his
money with beaming applause il his
eye which plainly said This mans an
onion n'-D December AHdntic.