Litchfield enquirer., 1878-02-07
CLIPPINGS.


 quail. This is a fact in natural history.
 Good resolutions are like horses The first cost is an item of less importance than the keeping.
 If the man who writes anonymous lettershas never stolen sheep, it is probably the fault of the sheep, ..ss5s .z x esz.~@s t-s -A When Elder Lutze insists upon baptizing his converts through holes in the ice he becomes sort of dip so maniac. ~ ..s-...-.- n
 The Courant says that the Hartford Fox Club have killed 10 foxes this season, the most of them on Cedar and Talcott mountains.
 The Portland CMe) ''Press'' thinks that eff Mir. Blaine's Silver bill is his best word on fi- nance he had better confne himself to the dis cussion of the war of 1872"
 The man with alittle brown jug has to watch it nowadays, or his wife will paint it all up and store it away on the mantel-piece for a ''ceramic" After the declaration-"This is, perhaps, not the first mitten you have received, MT Brown ?' ''But perhaps the first you have ever given, Miss Smith,"
 Upright legislator: ''What, sir You take me for one who can be bribed You insult my sense of honor. but in case 1 really were such man, how much would you give me ?"
 With the close of the holidays the casual Sunday school boy has severed his connection with the church, and resumed his occupation of breaking windows, stoning dogs and yelling at strangers, until it is time to get in training for the picnics.
 Some men can never take a joke. There was an old doctor, who when asked ''what is good for mosquitoes ?" wrote back ''How do you suppose can tell unless know what ails the mosquito ?"
 Lady Jones: Andnso you went to Venice Saw all the sights-St. Marks and the lions Mrs. Crammer: Oh, yes, the dear old lion? We were most fortunate the day we were there. Arrived just in time to see the noble creatures fed!
 A school inspector, in talking to the infant class, used the word ''abridgment, and imme- diately explained that as some of them might not know the meaning of the word, he would say that it was synonym of the word ''epi- tome"
 Little Susie, looking at some pictures of winged angels, exclaimed Mamma, I don't waet to be an angel" "Why not, dear?" ''Humph! leave off my pretty clothes, and wear fedders like a hen!"
 After spending some six millions of money on the streets of Washington, saving only few millions for himself ex-Governor Shepherd re- gently fell on one of those thoroughfares and broke his leg
 An Ohio lover inadvertently, while asking the blessing of his future father-in-law, said that the girl was worth her weight in gold, and the future father-in-law, confirmed bi-metal- list, refused his consent and chased the lover off the place with pitchfork.
 A Slight Misunderstanding. Lady Millicent de Mountcheeney-''Giv you an old pair of my boots for your daughter, Mrs. Smithers Weil-ye es-but Pm afraid they won't ft." Pewopener-"No fear of that, my lady. My gal has feet like an elephant"
 Pay the bill ?"said a gentleman who is we'll known to collectors as the prince of procrasti nators. Il should be happy to do so; but this damp weather has caused my money draw CT to swell, and 1 cannot get at my funds. Come the first dry day"
 My dear boy" said mother to her son, as he handed around his plate for more turkey, ''this is the fourth time you've been helped" q know, mother" replied the boy; ''but that | turkey pecked at me once. and 1 want to get square with him." He got his turkey.
 James Field was prisoner in the Yorkville police court, Sunday, for intoxication. Jus tice Otterbourg asked him where he lived. He answered, "Ive been seventeen years in the | smallpox hospital and" The magstrate interrupted with, You're discharged, Officer | show him out"
 A South Hill man who went around last September boring everybody to death by tel ling them what terrible winter the thick corn husks foreboded was found dead in his barn the other morning; hanged himself with his suspenders. Had he only held on until Jan uaay he might have passed away with sum- stroke.
 Not long ago an Irishman was summoned before bench of country magistrates fol being drunk and disorderly. ''Do you know what brought you here?" asked the chairman. ''Faix, your Homer, two policemen" replied I the prisoner. Had not drink something to do with it ?" said the J. F., drowning. ''Sor- tinly," answered Paddy, unabashed, 'they were both drunk"
 As my wife and at the window one day | Stood watching man with . monkey, | cart came by with Ca broth of boy" l Who was driving & stout little donkey. | To my wife then spoke, by way of 8 joke, |,
 t''There's a relation of yours in that carriage"
 To which she replied, as the donkey she spied,
 "Ah, yes, relation-by marriage"
 During the recent civil war there were two volunteers lying beneath their blankets, look ing up, at the stars in Virginia sky. Says Jack tsWhat made you go into the army, Tom?" "Well. replied Tom, 1T hadno wife and loved war What made you join the ar my, Jack ?" 'Well," he replied, Il had . wife, andI loved peace. !" s ..s. ..s. .A--4s -s s4 l