The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-07-25
The United States Fearfully Cut Up.

The United States Fearfully Cut Up.
I met him in the cars on my way from
Albany. He was pleasant looking old
man, and his better.half sat beside him.
The car was as full as an election-day
politician, and was compelled to take
seat Immediately in front of the happy
couple. There was something about
him, however, that made me feel sorry
right away. He had more talk in him
than schoolboy's head has of some
thing else, and I hadn't fairly settled
before he began to unload some of it:
"Nice day p
beautiful |"
'sFearful road"
Fearful" A.
Here was small opening FOR him, and
he got the wedge in. Oh !! if I'd only
made believe was deaf and dumb +!
'sI've travelled all over this country,
and never saw worse roads in all my life.
Why, the road over the Rocky mountains
amt half so rough"
"Summit BETTER" responded.
He looked at his companion, whom he
called Minnie, winked, and said
Funny man! Wonder who tits.
Looks like Mark Twain
Then he paused, and, just as I was
bracing up and endeavoring to put on a
Twainish look, he continued by saying
"Around the feet"
This made me mad,
"You've been all over the United
States, have you9 Then of course you
New York How is he getting along %
cob !! he Kentueky way as much
whisky as ever
Much Florida, in consequence, I
suppose" suggested.
"Utah thought SO if you'd seen him
when I did
Here the passengers began to look
worried, and one of them asked the con-
ductor how far it was to the next sta
ton. Another ventured that maybe we
weren't going far.
eyes," continued the old party, "he
tried to make love to Minnie when saw
him last.
"Arizona foolin'," blushingly re-
marked the old woman.
Minnesota liked it, didn't she?''
asked and gave him a look that intimated
that guessed that would settle it.
"You mustn't call Der Minnie. II
makes her mad. She'd have Georgia if
she'd heard you. She Kansas back
| whenever she wants to-"
eff it Illinois her, of course I'll re.
frain, answered.
Here one of the passengers was car
ried ont to the rear platform. and nine
tenths of the others were tearing the lin
ing out of their coats for wadding to put
in their ears.
perhaps Iowa an apology" I con
tinued.
"No, I guess not" he said, withou
moving an eyelash. cit Texas English
people to understand folks. I don't &
Montana thing, Tennessee sary."
Ifelt for my pistol At this moment
the cars stopped at station, and most Of
the passengers got out and waited fol
the xt train. The majority had thei1
heads tied up.
I was determined to fight it out to the
bitter end, If it took every State in The
Union. AS the train moved out of thai
station, the conductor came up ant
asked me to keep still, for Gods sake
He said the wheels were getting weak
and the coal had refused to burn. The
passengers had all departed to the othe1
cars, with the exception of six. I here
looked determined. They were not over
pale. { was satisfied to give it up if he
was. Just as I had made up my mino
that the whole thing was settled:
"Ohio!" yawned the fend, elm
getting tired of this journey"
I think it has been very pleasant
Wouldn't Michigan for 800. Jersey p
Without noticing the last query he
said " Hope we'll meet again. Nevada
pleasanter time. Hope Maine never
have worse
At this point one of the passengers
fell eff his seat He died in a few
minutes. Before the conductor could
get to the water tank another one had
breathed his last. Two Of the remaining
ones were staring at each other, and il
was found that they had both gone crazy
The remaining two were deaf and dumb
[ grasped my valise as the train reached
Jersey City, and started for the boat
As I was passing out of the door the
fend yelled after me. a..y
Eyes, New York and Jersey ano
New Hampshire, I've Rhode island
| Go necticut, Idaho-le lot of land in
Colorado. I Missis" x The doc.
tor says I shall be better in a week
| or so. tH5.... E..