Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1878-12-07

neWk.ByeteUos
II 10 staAsd BY eminent naturalista
that the very rats come creeping %. Of
the vood-pils and laukh like denona
when . woman tries 20 NV Q stick ol
wood.
Oh TIE corn. ~ horrible corn,
1urning - night and sching a morn;
Uader sooebudy's foot half of the time,
ThrObbing with misery almost sublime,
f:a.uins.
Big - your 6st-
SHOW Mo the sigu u the chi-rUp-o dist.
Sitting Bull wishes local lecture asso-
Citations, lyceums, churches and literary
societies to understand that he 10 nov
open for engagements for the season
1859 on the same old terms; 20 much
. bead. and he will stand at the door
and take tickets himself as long - the
audience lasts.
The boys OF America will take great
comfort and warning in the statement
that man in LAnsing, Michigan, leaned
out OF . second-story winIOw to call
out to his son 10 ''quit waiing in the
gutter this minute aud r"me home and
put bis shoes on" LOST his balance and
/ ASAA Oub ouu OIOk6 HIS Dnfk.
water" said Professor Workman.
waggishly. ''is not vegetable. although
it leaves in the summer" mo-" added
the new smart boy, who came ia this
term, ''and rum is not q vegetable,
although rum blossoms" And then
the professor said the class would con.
fine it's remarks to the text book.
| A man vuov ouoop ~ An ~ro.~~~ ~ T..
will because she can't sharpen lead
! pencil, but she has the smile on him
when he stands holding an unoccupied
suspender button in his hand, and won
dering whether it will hurt less to pull
the needle out OF his thumb the same
way it went in, or push it on through.
Careful physicians, who have thor.
oughly Investigated the matter. saw
that writing on both sides of the paper
will predispose the system to the yellow
fever. and is one Of the primary causes
OF that disease. We trut our CORES
pondents, especially tl..e who write
poetry and politics, will remember this.
'"This country" remarked o traveller
in northwestern Iowa, "settles up very
rapidly" "Ya.as." replied the native,
nervously watching the movements Of
o constable, lodging along the other
side of the field, country settles up q
darn sight faster than the people do"
And before the traveller could ask him
to explain, he was making q mile a
minute across the trackless prairie with
tho constable bad second.
Last Monday morning four Of our
best young men, carrying four guns, q
key Of powder and two bags of shot,
and attended by Ave dogs, went north
to shoot prairie chickens. Yesterday
morning they returned, carrying their
lank game bags under their coats, and
followed by four detected and disguised
looking dogs. They buried the fifth
dog where he fell, the second day out.
Twas almost always thus.
How busy is death in our midst!
Every time we catch sight of the head
line death of o Millionaire. we catch
our breath with convulsive gasp and
press our nervous hand on our anxious
heart to still its tremulous Auttering,
until our spprehensive eyes can look
further -, and see that il is not some
near and dearly loved relative that has
passed away. + is cruel to head q death
notice in such an ambiguous manner.
Yesterday two grammarians were
wrangling on Jefferson street, one con.
tending that it was only proper to say
my wages is high" while the other
noisily insisted that the correct thing
was "my wages are high" Finally
they stopped day laborer, and sub
mitted the question to him, which do
you say, 'your wages is high" or
''your wages are high?" ooh to the
devil wild yer nonsense" he said, re-
suming his pick; Eyer nsyther ov ye
right; me wages is low, thunderin'
low"
els the doctor in ?" asked an anxious
looking young man, as he paused half
way up the stairway leading to DR..
Stones Office, yesterday. "No, I guess
not" replied the person addressed,
"but you can leave an order on the
slate" The young man hesitated mo.
ment. "Well, I guess I would hardly
have time to wait, he said. lis it
very urgent case ?" "Well, yes the
young man said, ''rather urgent, I
think. just as I started away from
home my youngest brother was falling
out of o secondstory window"
Mr.. Ernest Marchemont, of West
Hill, is not a very experienced sports
man, but he set trap, all the same, for
fox or some other animal that was
decimating his hen.roosts. The next
morning there was something stirring
about in the trap. Mr.. Marchemont
rot down on his knees and looked in.
ut looks like q rabbit" he said. and he
opened the trap. "But it doesn't smell
exactly like one" he added sadly, and
when he went to the house Mrs. Mar
chemont made him stand in the back
yard while she stopped her nose up
with blue clay and undressed him with
the cietern pole. Each heart knows
it's own bitterness best" Mr.. Marche-
mont said when his tailor wondered
what he wanted another fall suit already
for.
It's no wonder women can't vote.
It's NO wonder men fear TO trust the
ballot in the hands Of people Who can