Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1878-05-29
TERMS:
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.


ing at troubles.
Alaska is we'll defended--there is
shiver de freeze all around it.
Trial trip-The journey from the
station house to the court room.
John Morrissey Is dead. We don't
know how he will faro yer there.
"Do editors ever do wrong?" "No."
"Whst do they dor" "They do
write"
The Turks, like their carpets, seem
to be all the better tor having been
beaten.
Should Bennett perish in the Artic
regions would it be called pole
catastrophe.
A thief may make bolt for the
door, and not be very good me-
chanic, either.
The paueity of jokes in England is
explained by the fact that it takes
twenty shiilings to make pun.
The editor who was told that his
last article was as clear as mud puite
promptly replied, "Well, that COW
ers the ground"
Sitting Bull says if the Fenians
are to invade canada he wishes to
become again an humble citizen of
the United States.
A Mormon elder is on the lecture
road exposing the true inwardness of
his church, as il the view of the out
side was not bad enough.
Jason Scribner, the Maine fiend
who killed his family at Augusta on
Saturday, quit drinking two years
ago. Let that be warning
A blind preacher in New York has
been asked to resign his charge
Having no other living in view, he
cannot see how he Is going to do it.
Sharks won't bite a swimmer who
keeps his legs in motion. If you can
keep kicking longer than shark
can keep waiting, you will be all
right.
Boys compositions: "Girls is the
only folks that has their own way
every time. Girls is of several thou
can be like several thousand other
girls il she wants to do anything.
This is all / know about girls, ard
father says the less l know about
them the better of / am"
Vicksburg has Doll for Alder
man.
All croquet players need one lawn
mower.
The blush of a maiden is natures
signal of warning.
Dancing masters pay great atten-
tion to the hop culture.
Potato bugs and grasshoppers are
organizing for Western raids
Discussing terms of peace will
bring on war-of words at least.
A Granger's wife deserves at least
one good dress of grow grain silk.
A mule rider thinks he is not get-
ting on we'll when he is thrown off.
The life of Mrs. Gaines may be
spared until she can read her titles
clear.
Philade phia people speak of the
great show abroad as The Paris impo-
sition.
To prevent hair from coming out
have il cut off close and wrapped up
in paper.
A Prussian officer is in the bowels
cfVesuvius. He tell down, and will
not return.
Worcester has what is called full
moon race track. Ofcourse it has no
quarter stretch.
The hotel keepers Of Paris have
served up so many horses that they
are all good chargers.
If property will not down at an
auctions bidding the auctioneer gen.
orally knocks it down.
Without remorse, and for the sake
of Mrs. Morse, Elizabeth is willing to
accuse herself Of any sort of trans
gression,
1t is said that Gen Butler declines
denomination in his district for Con-
gress. He has his best eye on the
Governors chair.
Lean believers are preparing to
dispute the Bible passage that says,
"He that putteth his trust in the Lord
shall be made fat"
The country is running now with
out crop reports from the Depart
ment of Agriculture, aud things are
growing very we'll.