Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-01-28
THE RUMSELLER'S PROPOSAL
TO THE DEVIL.

lifted up with all the entlcement OF lux
wy, for the sale of rum, brady, gin,
vine, beer, and all other compounds.
Our objects, tough different, can be best
attained by United action. | therefore,
propose colartnership. All I want of
men is theilmoney. All else shall be
yours.
Bring nd the Industrious, the sober,
the respectable, and I will return them
to you lrunkards, paupers, and beg
gars.
Bringthe child, and l will dash to
earth tie dearest hopes Of the father and
moskcr
Ping me the father and the mother,
andI will plant discord between them,
andmake them a curse and reproach
to teir children.
Fing me the young man, and l will
ruiz mis- character, destroy his health,
shoren his life, and blot out the highest
andpurest hopes of youth.
Bling me the mechanic Or the labor
er, nd his own money, the hard-earned
fruits of his toll, shall be made to bring
povelty, vice, and ignorance to his once
happy home.
Fing me the warm-hearted sailor,
andI will send him on lee shore, and
maxi shipwreck of all fond hopes for
ever
Ring me the professed follower of
Chrst and l will blight and witEer
ever devotional feeling of his heart. L
will corrupt the ministers of religion,
and defile the purity of the church.
Bring me the patronage of the city
and of the courts of justice let the mag
istrstes of the State and the Union be-
come my patrons let the law makers
themselves meet at my table and partic-
ipa.e in violations of law and the name
of law shall become Kissing and by
word in the streets.
Bring me, above all, the moral, re-
spectacle man. If possible, bring the
moderate temperance man; though he
may not drink, yet his presence will
countenance the pretexts under which
our business must be masked. Bring
him to our stores, oyster-saloons, eating
houses and hotels. and the more timid of
our victims will then enter without
~larm,
IAE w AM Ed
The bolt on the back door had needed
replacing for a long time, but it was
only the other night that Mr.. Throcton
had the presence of mind to buy a new
one and take it home. After supper he
hunted up his tools, removed the old
bolt, and measured the location for the
new one He must bore some new holes,
and Mrs. Throcton heard him roaming
around the kitchen and woodshed, slam
ming doors, pulling out drawers, ane
kicking furniture around. She went t.
the head of the stairs, and called down
"Richard, do you want anything ?"
"Yes 1 do!' he yelled back. ."
want to know where in Texas that cork
screw is ?"
"Corkscrew, Richard %
"Yes, corkscrew, Richard I've look
ed the house over, and can't find itp'
"Why, we never had one, Richard" :"
didn't eh? We've had dozen Q
'em in the last two years, and l bough
one not four weeks ago. It's always th
way when 1 want anything"
"But you must be out of your heac
husband" she said as she descended til
stairs. We've kept house seven years
and 1 never remember seeing you brin
a corkscrew home"
go, yes, I'm out of my head, I am
he grumbled, as he pulled out the sey
ing machine drawer and turned over i
contents. perhaps Id better go
: the lunatic asylum right away !"
! "Well, Richard, l know that | ha
never seen a corkscrew in this house" !"
, "Then you are as blind as an owl
daylight, for I've bought five or 81
? The house is always upside down, an
how, and I never can find anything p
u "The house is kept as well as any
your folks can keep one !" she retorte
$ growing red in the face.
: "Td like my mother here to sh
Z you few things" he said, as he strett
s ed his neck to look on the high shelf
:. the pantry.
"Perhaps she'd boil her spectac
with the potatoes again p answered
II wife.
s. ..Do you know who you are talki
" to ?" he yelled, as he jumped down.
/. "Yes, I do p
IS "Well, you'll be going for York St
N if you don't look out r
h. ..I'd like to see myself When l
e this house goes r
r. "Look out. Nancy y
50 "I'm afraid of no man that llN
e. Richard Throcton =
,g s'l'll leave you!'
ut "And Til laugh to see you 60 +
,g Going close up to her. ne exten'
W. his finger, shook 1T to emphasize
N o.l. cod cloulv said.