American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1878-01-26
it of fish; I am very plain-living

OIL OF nSh; L am very plaln-hvlng
man.
You know what mean, sir, - thun-
dered the questioner. what do you
do for a living!"
The same as you, sergeant" said
the witness, tapping his forehead sug-
gestively, ''and when that fails 1 do''-
going through the .pantomime of writ
ing across his hand-''a little bit of stuff
the same as you again.
"My lud, 1 shall not ask the obtuse
witness any more questions" said the
angry counsel.
Brother said Baron Martin, 81
think you had better not.''
Here is hint for our old friend the
clown in the pantomime. At the burn
ing of provision store, the crowd help
ed themselves freely. One man grasped
a huge cheese as his share of the sal
wage; rising up with it he found himself
face to face with a policeman, and with
admirable presence of mind put the
plumber into the officers arms, saying:
''YOu had better take care of that, po-
liceman, or some one will be walking
off with it,
Equally ready to relinquish his loot
when there was no help for it was
Chicago negro, caught by poultry fam
cier in the act of carrying off some of
his live stock, and challenged with:
''What are you doing with my chick
ens?" 81 wuz gwine fer ter fetch 'em
back, boss,'' explained he. ''Dere's
niger roun' here what's bin disputin'
along er me bout dem chickens said
dey wuz Alabarmr pullets, an wqz
jes takin 'em roun' fer ter Establish my
nollidge. Dey don't lay no aigs, does
dey, boss? Eff dey does, I'm mighty
shamed of hustlin 'em roun' Aigs is
scase.,' .s.-i -G
Inpudently cool as the darby was, he
must yield the palm for etfrontery to the
Erie Railway guard whose interview
with Manager Fisk is thus related in an
American paper:
&c You are a-conductor on the Erie,
beIieve?'' iC.
6 Yes, sir.''
Chow long have you been on the
roadp''
g Fifteen years. ... ..-f...,f -[
" Worth some property, I learn?'
7 es.Some."
&C Have a very fine house in Oswego?
Cost you some thirty, forty, or fifty
thousand do1larsPf' 70 .,-.
/ .tYes.Ssir.,, - - - 1-'
i' ''Some little money invested in bonds,
1 am toldP''
g Yes, sir.''7 1 TIG@
Gown farm near where you re-
side?''
ssYes, sir.'n'
" Had nothing when you commenced
rs conductor on our road?"
I" Nothing to speak Of"
"Made the property since?"
eyes, SIR
Sc Been at work for no other parties ?''
.sNo; but have been saving money,
and invested it from time to time to good
advantage"
"Well, sir, what will you give to set
| tie? OF course you can not pretend to
say that you have acquired this proper
| ty from what you have saved from your
salary? You will not deny that you have
pocketed great deal of money belong
ing to the railway-a least fifty or sixty
thousand dollars? Now, sir, what will
you give to settle, and not be disgraced,
as you certainly will be if trial is
brought, and you are compelled to give
up the property you profess to own, but
in reality belongs to the company?'' =
-"Well, Mr.. Manager, 1 had not
thought of the matter. For several
years have been running my train to
| the best of my ability. Never looked at
the matter in this light before. Never
thought was doing any thing wrong.
1 have done nothing more than other
conductors; tried to earn my salary and
get it, and think I've succeeded. l
don't know that 1 owe the company
any thing. If you think l do, why,
there's a little difference of opinion, and
don't want any trouble over it. have
nice family, nice father and mother,
relatives all of good standing; they
would feel bad to have me arrested and
charged with dishonesty. 1t would kill
my wife. She has every confidence in
me, and the idea that would take a
penny that did not belong to me would
break her heart. don't care any thing
for the matter myself; but on account
of my family and relatives, if you won't
say any thing about it, I'll give you say
a dollar a-ChG1abers Journal.