Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-01-23
HunlOr.

How to find girl out-Call when she
isn't in.
A tune that young ladies like to
catch-A million air.
Grant will soon deserve the title of
International Lunch Fiend = Worcester
Press.
A German says that London fog is so
thick that he is tempted to drive q nail
into it and hang himself.
We are pleased to announce that the
thermometer has got down to where
hand organs freeze up.-Son2ermNe Jour-
nal.
A Monkey Wrench.
That's what call a monkey wrench,
The witty Snowman said
When the big gorilla grabbed his hair
And twisted back his head.
A gentleman who heard Secretary
Evarts read an address recently, said
he thought the great lawyer was going
to sentence" him to death.-Noris-
torn Herald
Moonlight is cheaper than kerosene
light, but you can't take it into a parlor
and set it on q center table and turn it
down, so it will never be brought to any
practical use.
And so Love is blind, is it? Wait a
minute. Did you ever hear of a woman
going crazy about q man who had his
ear-muf1s on the first time she saw him?
-Breaktast Table,
A Fifth-avenue young lady has com
piled list Of her gentleman acquaint-
ances, and entered their names in a
handsome parlor album. She playf1lly
calls it her 8 him book"
"Dear Graphic Is the correct name
of this planet Earth or Terra" An
swer By its own inhabitants it is prop
erly called Earth Terra is the name
by which it is known by residents of
other planets.
One Of the old settlers at the Isle of
ShOales, seeing the name Of Psyche"
on the hull Of a yacth, the other day,
spelled it out slowly, and then ex-
claimed, "Well, if that amt the biggest
way to spell fish p
It strikes us that " in the bright here
after" when the angels sing, there will
be front orchestra chair reserved for
the man who shall have devised NOISE
less drum as Christmas present for
boys here below"
The young lady who does the fashion
notes for an exchange says that "pulse-
warmers have undergone a radical
change in style, but yet nothing can
equal the tender clasp Of a young man
with q Roman moustache."
It is said that the age Of superstition
is passed. but there are yet great many
women who wouldn't have dress cut
on Friday for the world. -En. What
the dear creatures most banker after is
a "Wednesday dress.-PhiAadelphia BuL
hain.
Oh, the blizzard, the beautiful biz
zard freezing a fellow from ear-top to
lizard making his face as blue as a
wizard, chilling the life-blood that
flows from his gizzard get up and get
out of this, beautiful blizzard. Bavkng-
ton Haaukeye.
What we want to know is, how child
twenty-five inches around can get away
with a heaping plate of Christmas good
les twenty-five inches around. We
should also like to know just what ought
to be done for the child two hours after
ward-ROn1e Sentinel.
Browns wife went to the dentists on
Friday and took gas. The new set of
teeth is not ready nor is she ready
and SO there has been peace in the
Brown family for several days. AS
Brown remarked yesterday, "Her
mouth is closed for repairs.-P. I.-naa,a
The Chicago Times prepared the fol-
lowing parody on Roll On, Silver
Moon" to be sung at the mass meet
ing in Chicago IL behalf of the Bland
bill