Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1878-05-10
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:" Rut You men YEN calculate nicely
How near you may ~, ar hew tar,
And never one moment you soften,
Nor pity the hopes that yon mar
\ Aud when Nouare at last successful,
And the Towers toat down ~ y0ur feet,
Its culors are no more w perfect
Its perfume Is no more 20 sweet,
"lou leave 1t to lie ON the roadside,
FIRST tramping II down IN the dust
Aud fancy that such Is YOUR right here.
10 break and To outrage our trust
nNou think us 50 weak tn we sting you,
And give You nj IcNst YOUR deserts;
And then yen turn round IN Nonr anger,
Aud vow thnt ull women are tirtS.
Rrlieyo me, that II YOU would let us
Re honest and true as we sire,
Not striving 10 Conquer MS Atwaysl
The world would Nc better by far
Spring brcc1cs The remarks sc the
lady who cleans house
When n rider is thrown over horsc's
head The horse becomes the power he
hind the thrown
\ bachelor merchants advice in Sc
Letting wife "liet Mold Of piece Of
calico that will wash.
There Is il great dcal sand against The
Chinese, but nobody ever accused them
Of writing spring poetry to the news
papers, Nee GritdlS Times.
Providcnt Minister = wish Is state
that have procured an alarm clock
that will wake up the congregation us
soon as the service is over. - HUpcrS
Bd,U
:" Is it proper to say, see the sun
rising, or see the sun riscY' he ask
ed. Sir, the proper thing is to 80
homo before ii rises, replied his friend.
Darwin says II woman loses onc-tenth
of her time looking for her t,limblc.
lIo recommends that shelf for it be
attached To the frame Of the mirror.
"WiIl yon love me then ~ now
That will depend upon the question
whether your father has left YOU thai
hundred thousand dollars in the mean.
Wnilt.
The corset is IN Italian invention,
but the practice Of tying one end Of the
string to the bed post and pulling the
liver ont Of shape commenccdin Louis
vile, Ky.
An elderly maiden lady, hearing for
the first time that matches are made in
heaven, declared that she didn't care n
straw how soon She left this sinful world
for u better land,
What is the difference between n
sehoolboy studying his lessons and u
farmer minding his COWS? One il
stocking his mind and the othor is
minding lis stock.
When woman makes up her mind
that Il hen shall not set, and the hen
makes up her mind that she will, the
! irresistible meets the immoyablc, and
every law Of nature is broken or pre-
vented
Having heard that Murphy was
curing people Of drunkenness, ven
erable lady from the ould sod was re-
Gently heard to remark Sure an I've
often heard tell in Skibboreen that 4
bite Of cowld murphy was good thing
to kapc away the taste nv it.
Yos, brother journalists. there will
come il time when religious societies
will not expect seven dollars worth Of
gratuitious advertising iii return for n
ticket emitting the bearer to II chance
III rattle for nincty.ninc cent hair
bruslL AHany 1r9u8.
Mistress who does not allow fol
lowers III the house W." Who was that
you were talking to in the kitchen,
Nary Mary (making clean brelst
of it'll" Well, you see, Mum, me and
my young man ave started tallyphoneI
rum, hut hc never comes nearer than
round the corner Of tire next street
mum" Punch.
Bashfu lover. "Ah, Miss, IL want
ed to see your father I've some i'm,
portant matter e. propose to him" Be
ncvolent young lady: Well, I'm sorry
/ father il not in--but can't you make the
proposal to me" The wedding cards
soon followed.
When you see little man with
patched pants, and shoes all down NJ
the heel trotting patiently alongside :
great big wife, riggcd out il u gorgeous
! bonnet and seal skn sac4ue, make uI
your mind there's a missionary wanted
in that family.
\ a Jersey wldOwef, who bad takef
another partner, was screnaded ON hi
wedding night The parties brought 9
phonograph, in which was preserved
some If the obiurgations of his iirsl
wife, and when they set II going under
his window tie happy bridegroom broke
out into cold sweat and crawlcd VI
the chimney on bridal tour.
On tile night i'll que.tion they had
been married scarcelya year She had
] .ct up tO wait for him until II o'clock