The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-11-21
The Drunken Hog.

LISTEN, little children, while l tell
you about a hog that got drunk on
cider. No doubt you have seen a great
many drunken men, but perhaps never
a drunken dumb animal-they usually
having too much self-respect to get
drunk like some men. And even this
one of which Am about to tell you,
would undoubtedly have scorned the
idea had he known beforehand the evil
effects of taking "a drop too much"
1t was a great many years ago, when
nearly every farm had a large orchard,
and after storing away what apples
were necessary for family use, the re-
mainder were manufactured into cider,
which was afterward converted into
brandy and the most of it consumed ON
the premises during the year. l was
boy then, and we lived about half a
mile from an uncle of mine where the
affair happened, the relation of which
by my aunt caused no little merriment
among us children.
Previous to making cider, it was nee
essary to clean the barrels of all the
old cider and settings which might re-
main in them from the previous years
supply, and in doing this my uncle
thought it would be matter of econ
omy to turn it out where it would run
down into the hog-yard, where was
confined large old sow with some ten
or a dozen pigs of about three or four
weeks old, so that they might drink it
and nothing would be wasted. Accord
ingly, barrel after barrel was brought
out and the contents emptied before
the old sow who stood ready to receive
them, and as each new lot came. she
grew more and more excited over it;
her eyes glistened aud she would fairly
dance for joy, while she seemed mem
tally calculating, "A little more cider
for Miss Dinah," until finally, she be-
gan to show evident signs of intoxica-
ton. She would cut up all sorts of
hoggish capers-she would run and
squeal and tumble down; then she
would scramble up and try to walk on
two legs, but she would make about as
much Roadway. as some other two-legged
creatures do when drunk. But there
was one thing noticeable about
her, she was perfectly good-natured
about it; she didn't offer to
fight, or even to bet on how much she
was worth, but kept on cutting up sill
ly capers and ludicrous faces, till at
length, yielding to the force of circum-
stances, she gave over her vagaries,
and stretching herself at full length
upon the ground, was soon lost in a
state of beGstly intoxication. The little
pigs, which till now had stood back APP
parently wondering what had befallen
their mother, now came forward to ex-
anime her as she lay insensible on the
ground. They would ply their little noses
to her to see if they couldn't rouse her
from her stupor: failing in this, they
would start in string one after an
other and run her over from head to
tail and back again; crying meantime
most piteously, as though their hearts
would break over the supposed death
of their mother. This was continued
for long time, till finally the old lady,
having in a measure slept off the eff
fects Of her debauch, with much diff
Guilty, regained her feet, and looking
around as if to ascertain her locality,
sneaked of to her nest out of sight;
nor did she show herself again until
she was sure she was entirely sober.
Whether she signed the pledge or
not never learned, but certain it was
she was cured of drinking; for while
she lived she was never known to taste
of another drop of intoxicating drinks;
which is more than can be said for q
great many two-legged beasts.
You will agree with me that by get
ting drunk the mother was setting q
very bad example before the little ones,
but think the whole family were heart
lily ashamed of it, since l never knew
one of them afterward to get any worse
for liquor; though we can't tell what
might have happened had they lived a
good many years, and mingled in So
ciety; but they all died young, which,
was fortunate for them after all, if it
saved them from drunkenness. Don't
YOU think so?-RurGl NeU Yorker.