Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-01-10
Job Work-CASH ON DELIVERY

ing to nobody.
Why are heavy showers like heavy
drinking? Because they usually begin
with little drops.
Ten to one it used to take Eve three
hours and half to pick out leaf
green dress to suit her.
Artemus Ward said of the Mormon
ties: Their religion is singular, but
their wives are plural.
A handkerchief filtration is a very
simple thing 1t only requires two
fools and two handkerchief.
The Lady Slipper is the name of a
vessel just launched at Boston. She
must be intended for the whaling SER
vice.
Weary person on evening visit: 'Aw
I'm ust out Of a sick bed Terrible
boy. Say, MIR. Johnson, what ails
your bed ?
There is a good reason why little
man should never marty ,ipg
widow. He might be called "the
widows mite
An Irish painter announced in an
Irish journal that, among other por-
traits, he had representation Of
Death as large as life.
1--WE never know what frail Great
ures we are," says Mrs. Marrowfat,
until we sit down to cut our corns,
and the knife slips
Slippers should be felt, not heard
in the sick room. But naughty boys
prefer that they should be heard rath-
er than felt-in the nursery.
The man who charged David with
extravagant language for singing The
trees of the field shall clap their
hands" forgot that there are such
things as palm trees.
A child can pick up good deal Of
information if it will keep its ears
open while its mother is conversing
through knot hole in the fence with
the woman next door.
a patent has been taken out upon
almost everything Of value, but there
is fortune waiting for the man who
patents a boot jack that will kill two
Thomas cats at one time.
There are more things in Heaven
and earth Horatio than was ever
dreamt Of in your philosophy said
the youth to TIE father when be dug
up the pile the old man had buried.
The doctors in indianapolis are
quarreling 50 bitterly with each other
that last week an undertaken starved
to death, and great destitution and
suffering in that industry is feared.
A Kansas woman has reached the
age of one hundred and thirty years,
and it is pitiable sight to see her one
hundred year old son sit in the cor
ner and wriggle, while he sobs, MA,
kin I 60 out?
There must have been an uproar in
the sky the other day when Ben But
Ter stood up in the House and, with
tears in his eyes, begged the Demo-
Gratis not to admit Patterson. The
sight Of Butler with tears in his eyes
was enough to make the angels sud-
denly cease playing on their golden
harps and break into a hoarse laugh.
OUR NATIONAL HABIT.-Edwa.d
King, in one Of his letters to the Dos-
ton paper Writes:
One rarely sees a fcllow-co countryman
in distress in Paris, but I did meet one
day before yesterday. He came up
to ne on the Rue Scribe, where, if
you are not an American, you are sup
posed to be, as nearly every officer on
it is in some way connected with Yam
kee trade, and, observing me sharply,
he said:
care you an American ?"
l IproudIy acknowledged that I was
citizen Of the republic.
"Wal," he said, "can you tell me
where can get some cnewin' tobac-
co ?"
| said no, of course no one chews
in France-didn't know personally
any American resident who "cEawed.'
"Wall," he said, sadly, cts all very
we'll for them that don't chew, but
I've got to lave some can't live with
out it. And he stepped out with
determined air, looking for another
American to whom he could pu5 his