The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1878-03-26
FLEA BITES.

= ].
Mary Anderson must be hard ~ we'll
as high kicker. Tor the St. Joe papers I'D.
wise people to look on, for their seats.
Mrs. Belinda +. Rutherford. Of Wad-
dington, St. Lawrence county. New York,
is mad. The Osdensburs Journal has been
printing some history. and in speaking OF
her family makes two Of them born before
she vas married! This is not 50, and after
| looking over the almanac and counting her
fingers, she writes to the Poisdam, n. Y,
Courier To Tell il 40, for she MAS married in
1850, and the oldest child vas horn July
18th. 1852; the second on June I'D, 1854:
the third ON May Sth, 1856; the fourth
on July, 10Th, 1855; the fifth on Nov.
llth, lS6O.-while James De Forest was
born on June I'D, 1866. She says If the
psper makes il out that two children were
born before she was married, it will produce
. wrong impression. Aud this is Why we
hasten TO set this matter straight. We
don't like to zee families mixed up 90 bad
Clinton, Iowa, has q club called the
"Ancient Or,lerof Ugly Women" Branch
Offices have been generally established
through the west.
But the General Offices and headquar-
tiers are located in BoOnville.
A lady of Philaaelphia will visit
AtchisOn, next month, with the view Ol
opening . first class private boarding
house.
A brass band will call the boarlen to
their meals. and photograph Of the mar
ket house will be lald on each plate. Inn.
agination is to do the rest.
Rich men need not 70 through the
ieye Of q needle. They have money enough
to get around it by special conveyance.
And the Devil il No. l railroad super
tendent
The postofice department probably
stared the paragraph about the mucilsge
on postage stamps being made of potatoes
and peach brandy, in order to increase the
sale Of stamps in st. Joseph.
But they are going to put the bell punch
on the general delivery windo~, and that
will stop that racket.
The fat girl of Iowa is dead. Shs
measured seven feet around the waist, and
was never completed Rugged IN her life.
It's pity, too. For she had just bought
a cotton compress.
A colored minister once opened the In
diana Senate with prayer.
He might do for Indiana, but Kansas
has two able-bodied charlaius shooting cast
iron prayers out Of double barreled guns,
which rattle of the members backs like
drops of water off gocee.
A progressive Kentucky divine say.
that Satan spends portion Of his time in
Heaven.
We wondered where he got his stake
Well Just bet he goes for those little angel.
every pay day, and euchres' em out Of thei'
last nickel.
We ought to have q town clock-ons
that will strike loud enough 20 be heard Al
least a mile.-Nerada Leader.
Yes, but II needn't strike L. o'clock
You could.
The body of young lady has beer
placed in the receiving vault of the Indian
apolis cemetery, for daily inspection, a. ths
doctors are by no means certain OF her
death. The indications Of trance are tho
freshness Of the coantenance and the plia
bility ofthe joints.
"PIiability of the jointsw Don't those
fool doctors know that all that il necessary
is to hold bran new bonnet to her noss
and in Eve minutes her tongue will bt
running forty miles IN hour on . down
grade.
Two things have become established
facts: Revolutions never 70 backwards
and the sun goes around the earth once 8
year.
We found that out when We were six
years old. Our parental ancestor would
grab US with one hand and apply the whir
with the other. This SIN use 10 revolvs
around the earth and the old man like &
buzz saw through skim milk.
Wells, Of black lace, are now worn in
full dress, caught on the top of the head
with q gold ornament and the ends aoaI
ing down over the shoulders.
Hanged il we'd like 'em. We saw . fel
Low caught on the top Of the head with q
gold ornament once, and both ends 6oated
down over hls shoulders. There was q
cane at one end Of il, and he had 70 poul
tice right sharp for week.
i Mr.. Spartley saysthat one hundred miles
out of San Francisco. the reporters Of the
daily pspen board the incoming trains
and interview each passenger, and BY the
time one arrives IN the city his or heI
name appean in print. The morning ol
his arrival, quite . number of his old
Leavenvorth friends were in waiting Ia
see him, having seen his name in the morn.
ing papen.-Loapearortk Pres.
Too slow. Sedalis reporter beard all
trains before they start wet and east. in
terview all the Paasengeu, and the moment
they arrive present them With their au.
iobiogrsphy bound in morocco with gilt
edges, and . handsome steel plate engav.
ing.
The force engaged on the Daily, num-
bem ak persons, exclusive Of editon and
reporterA Ii you want 70 zee hive Ot
industry, call and see Us some fine after.
noon.-Srisaioid Leader.
And then putting the above item on the
hook, be puls the Dictionary under biz