Litchfield enquirer., 1878-10-17
too and I am dazzled with 50 much happiness
 ak nnca. lik Q n,,fa that the s1nli,rlf hlinTis

I at once, like one that the sunlight blinds.
 l have never allowed to myself before, how weary 1 have been sometimes ; but now 1 do :; and more than this, tue excitement of this strange new life that is coming has overset my mental equilibrium, and 1 am irritable with the noisy young ones, ,and what baby Maud calls 'scoss nss3s ffs't e-s ? s
 Last night Janet was clo ,sted a long while
 with mamma, and then went out on some mysterious errand. When she came back she was laden with parcels, and among their varied Hcontents were yards and yards of black silk. tenough to make me one of those trailing, rust Hing dresses that have seen ladies wear at our grand old Mister, and that have coveted with every fibre of my young heart, in spite of the decalogue plainly set forth upon the wall above my head. When Janet called me into mammals room, and 1 saw the. rustling silk laid across the couch by the window, saw the happy smile-how rare, how rare thing to sec !-upon her lips, saw the dear hands Trembling with eagerness as they fingered the Idelicate ribbons and faces that were scattered ali about when saw this sight, and knew that the great love of the mother-heart had thought of me So tenderly, Iscarce could find EsWords to utter, and in my troubled happiness It dld not cross my mind how dearly the pretty things had been purchased. But later on, as we three mamma, Janet, and I-were holding solemn conclave on the matter of the form and fashion of my dresses, l missed the sparkle of a certain ring from mammals finger.
 Like sudden revelation it came upon me then what she had done for me, and catching
 her hand in mine l kissed it once and again,
 weeping for very joy to think of how we'll she
 loved me, and yet of all, ''the pity of it." All this only happened last night, and am
 hating myself for looking forward so eagerly | to this coming visit. 1 am hating myself for my impatience with Nells passion and Chub-
 by's resentment. I have hardly patience to thread baby Maud's needle, for the fourteenth time and my hand shakes so, as write to tell
 Dick that it is ''all right" about the going to Mrs. Colquohoun's, that he will certainly fancy
 l am suffering from ague.
 At length-at very great length-the burial of Sir John Moore is disposed of, and am thankful to see the children scampering about
 the ilI-kept, neglected garden that surrounds
 Morncliffe on all sides, and of which am so heartily ashamed. I have struggled to keep the fower-beds that are directly under the windows in something like order; but l can
 hardly wield scythe, or remove the broken pedestal of an old sundial, that uprears itself from amid a tangle of dock leaves and nettles, and gives dispiriting gravel yard aspect to the whole. don't think l ever realized how
 bad things at Mo ncliffe were, until Dick had to see them. Then, Pm sure, my cheeks must have got tired of blushing. True, Dick never seemed to see whatan out-at-elbows household
 we were perhaps It was for my sake he made
 believe to be blind-or was it that he saw only me, and had eyes for nothing else?
 What grand gift is the power of intuition
 in man! Dick has it to perfection. It never seems necessary to explain matters to him ? he understands just at once, not only how things are, but exactly how they affect one, and the look or word that can help most, is always
 ready. When you have struggled with things, and fought against giving in for year after year and suddenly find helping hand, you aban- don yourself utterly to the exquisite happiness of having some one to cling to. It is the hap piest experience to feel like this ; but wonder is there lurking danger under it's, sweetness Ia danger of falling into the sin of idolatry ?
 ''Oh what a tried white face to greet fel- low with" said Dick one morning, as l went into the long Nw school-room, whose broad bay window commands delightful view Of the monumental column Have things shaensaing very badly, little one p he went on, stroking my head that lay against his breast.
 ''Yes, yes," almost sobbed; livery, very badly. But 1 don't mind-l don't care-as long as there is you" Then the thought Ot his exceeding preciousness cameo over my heart
 like flood I flung my arms about his neck,
 and held my head back, so that Icould look into his dear true eyes. ''Oh; Dick, Dick ?" cried in the passionate gladness that his sym
 pathy had called into being, ''what should do, my darling--if lost yon ?'
 Something in my words, or in my face, ol in both combined, seemed to touch him strange ly {; and saw almost with fear, a mist gather
 in his eyes as he turned away from me.
 :.He is afraid that love hinltoo much that
 am making an idol of him, ''I thought to my self in reviewing the matter afterward.
 But one day the time was to come-the bit
 ter, cruel, weary time-when was to know
 why Dick turned from me then
 The eve of my flight from Morncliffe has
 come at last. My modest luggrge is corded,
 and stands in the back passage. Janet and l
 came to the conclusion that it was wiser to put it there than in the square front hall, for papa
 does not look with favorable eye upon my departure, and the signs of that departure
 might call forth unpleasant comments
 Mamma is at once happy and fearful. The
 excitement of my preparations has made hot pink spot burn on either of her sunkcn cheeks
 and you realize in looking upon her how beau tiful she must have been when, an inexperi enced girl of seventeen, she linked her fate with one who valued her for that beauty only and had no mental eyes to discern the lowell
 ness of her mind or the tender faithfulness o1
 her heart. In the selfshness of my own pleas
 ant anticipations 1 have, so far, never thought of how the children will miss me-nurse, gov | erness and mother, all in One-and feel being
 handed over to the care of stranger. Aunt Emily has come. She and mamma have not
 met for years, and each is shocked with the change in the other for auntie has had much audi iO 6Nvxy 1e looks old and worn, but there is something 1 that wins one's trust about her face, and cer tain dignity in her carriage that I think fright | tens papa-a fact that l am wicked enough tC rejoice in. It came upon me this last evening that afterall home is very dear to me. I gG l up, according to unvarying custom, to see the children when they are in bed. Nell holds me l tight around the neck, but says nothing as 1 bid her goodnight; Chubby dives under tho clothes when have kissed him, and dare mol uncover his curly head because 1 feel that he
 is sweeping little weep" in the friendly shel l ter of the counterpane. As 1 reach her crib side baby Maud sits suddenly bolt upright, a | little white-robed figure with a golden mane l hanging about its shoulders, and her under liz l quivers piteously.
 ssWe's be welly dood while you be's away l sissy but we t'ant love auntie mush as 'oo. l This is such an unexpected turn of matters te me that am quite taken aback. 1 set down \ my candle hastily, catch up the little oracle il my arms, and volunteer that greatest of all ia vors-to siny her to sleep. She nestles dowI l on my breast, and I wrap the thick skirt of my
 dress over the dear little pinky- white feet, an6 sing to her the songs she loves best
 Gradually the long-lashed lids droop ove
 the bonnie blue eyes, and baby Maue
 is asleep: so Il F. loosen the holC
 of the tiny hand that has chung to the necktie
 at my throat, and lay her gently down, while
 prayer arises in my heart that Heaven may
 watch over and keep my darling safe until come again.
 have been vexed and irritated with tn,
 worry of them at times; I have been impatlen
 when I ought to have been forbearing: hay, | rejoiced at the thought of getting away iron
 an atmosphere of petty annoyances; but now
 all at once, it comes over me that my disorder ly, poverty stricken home is very dear to me
 When the morning comes go away 1 hur
 " over the saying goodbye to mamma. It i:
 our first parting very first since seventeen years ago lay upon her breast, her irst-bor the flower that God sent to hn her Heart seas