Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1878-08-07
I, NOR.

With QUIZ saw.
Some men growl because the mile
stones are so far apart.
! Fast men, like fast rivers, are apt to
be very shallow. .uee
| Isn'tit odd that the sons of toll have
on them tons Of soil?
People can lie just as easy about the
fsilver dollar rs if the mercury stood at
There IL no good substitute fur wis
dunn. but silence IL the best that haz
been discovered yet.--Josh Billings.
4 A. tack points ,heavenward when it
means the most mischief. 1t has
many human imitators.- Cincinnati
Bredktast Table. ..
a Kentucky girl with $4,000 pinned
to her corset, is coming east, just ahead
of an enraged father. 'Rah for the
girl. 's .f l ,ft
ats poor rule that won't work both
ways" is supposed to have originated
with the school boy who took the rule
away from his teacher and knocked
HIM down with it.
The position Of baggage-smasher, at
this season of the year, is one of solemn
responsibility, involuntary profanity
and unlimited perspiration. e'
Marriages are not plentiful enough.
The youn. ladies ought to get up Il
strike for their alters. The strike for
the fires can come IN afterward, when
the question of building them comes up.
Canvass suspenders now seem to be
worn by most all ladies. There's no
give" to them, and that's the reason
you occasionally hear n button fly of
when lady grabs for her skirt. Now
they will be called canvass back ducks
more than ever.
We were not one of the newspaper
men who were swind!ed with the new
counterfeit five thousand dollar bill.
We compared il with Others in our
pocket, and refused to take it. We inn
agine that we had sense enough to have
kept our mouth shut about it even if
we had been fooled. i
"Where did this baby come from?"
asked fve-year old girl of the nurse,
who was washing the squealing little
stranger. why from Heaven, Of
course" replied the nurse. "Well, if it
screamed like that, don't wonder they
sent it Off" was the staining rejoinder.
81 want, and will have, a wife without
a falling" was the remark of u young
man who had three seasons experience
of life. His sister, with only u country
girls philosophy, remarked: Then
you'll never marry, because, should you
find such woman she'll be sure TO
want husband of the same charac-
ter"
Doctor" said lady, al want you
to prescribe for me-" "There is moth
ing the matter, madam" said the DOC
tor, after feeling her pulse; "you only
need rest" Nov, doctor, just look at
my tongue" she persisted. ''Just look
ut it-lOok at it! Now say what does
that need?" II think that needs rest
toe" replied the doctor.
A young gentleman of Prairie Grove,
Texas, proposed TO his lady love, but
was gently re used. He went second
and y third time with the same result.
But at length he rode over one evening
and told her he would neither cal, sleep,
nor speak unil she consented to be-
come his bride. She invited him in to
dinner: he shook his head. She talked
on; he merely looked rejected. Then
she requested him TO take supper;
a negative shake Of the head
was the only reply. She played,
sang and chatted on till bedtime, when
a servant showed him a room; a mega
tive shake. She tripped away to her
chamber: he sat determined still. About
twelve o'clock she came back and said,
Il don't wish to cause the death of a
good officer, so will marry you" The
released one rose, and with much
earnestness said, /" My dear, have you
any cold victuals on hand?' .....
| I I'd like to he M Esquinarx
| '' nd live on cakes Oi ice.
10 I'd mix up cocktails all the day
| So naughty, but so NICE.
| Old Gid Tucker is a nice DC man:
| He alwa,s rides whenever he can. "
| G imb up behind he always will ......
| Whatever is the shape OF the vehikill- ''t
Get out OF the way old Cid Tucker.
| You're to old 10 hang to the crnppef!
| The boy stood sqnarely on the base ..
Already two wer" out
The grin that ltghfened up his face
/ Il Sbone round about his snout
| % The boy. he raised the ash alo!
| And cali for one hip.nigh. r.f ID. t|t
! The pitcher put It Ia red not,
| IL hit him 10 the eye. ..I uEt. .,,.t
Again the gallant youth stood up gfuW
| determined he would score;
The next one h,t him IN the stomach ! sn
il. He playeth ball no more.
Relatives and friends are invited to
attend without further notice. --Boston
Post. foi'ol y,ralE5 3lie.