The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-04-18
SUNBEAMS,

English bar in Hong Kong.
40 respectable tailor ever pants for
fame; it's something he never invests in.
A Scotch lad described generosity as Civ
ing to others what you don't want your
self.
1t would have done you good to have
seen the smile that lit up the face of
grave-lookmg undertaken when he heard
Us coffin.
When a man wants to call puppy he
whistles; but girl just walks along with
her handkerchief floating across her shoul-
der.-Rome Sentinel
A Florida man claims to have shot seven
deer at one fire; but what is that COM
pared te the Albanian who killed eighteen
coons at one throw of club5
A disappointed young man says the
sewerage" shoe maker can frame more ex-
cuses in fifteen minutes than picture
dealer could supply frames for in two
weeks.
An Iowa schoolmistress has been dis
charged because, for the amusement of the
children during recess, she stood on her
head One of the trustees CHANGED to See
the feat.
'That's our family tree" said an Arkan-
hemlock. "a good many of our folks
have been hung on that tree for borrerin'
horses after dark"
Kentucky beats them all. She now fur
nishes case where man eloped with
| whole family except the old man, who had
lame back, and couldn't get to the depot
in time"
A young man in st. John, N. B., who
was bound over to keep the peace toward
| personal enemy, got his two sureties to
give the latter a tremendous thrashing,
and enjoyed it immensely.
A Detroit goat ate feather bed. Boston
Globe Hope he managed to sleep well on
it afterwards. N. Y. Com. Aduertiscr. The
animal certainly felt considerably down"
in the mouth after such meal.-NOrris-
t0wn Herald.
Ifyou're going to keep diary, keep it.
Don't leave it (adds the Worcester Press) in
your other trousers pocket, where your
wife will get hold of it for d day or SO, and
then appear to you, claiming to be mind
reader.
day or two since lad some eight
years of age said to his mother:-"M Mother,
which are we, Catholics or Episcopals ?"
"We amt any of them," said younger
brother. chipping in, were Percihe Coast
Pierueers.
Servant looks into the breakfast-room
and SAYS "Please, maam there's beg
j. gar woman in the kitchen wants something
to eat. Give her the water in which the
eggs We're boiled this morning Bridget;
it's quite nutritious"
A Brooklyn lawyer was noticed at re-
cent concert enthusiastically applauding one
of the singers. ''Fond of music, isn't he p
said one acquaintance to another. mo, u
was the rep.y; its mere professional m-
stinct. He is moving for q new trial.
The following is San Francisco adver-
tisement: correspondence is solicited
from bearded ladies, Circassian, or other
female curiosltles, who in return for true
heart and devoted husband, would travel
during the summer months, and allow him
to take the money ut the door,"
Jane Grey SwiBsheln has been suspended
, from the Sorosis for having rashly wlsheC
{ she was man. But she was reinstated
on payment of light fine, when she ex.
. planned that she uttered the wish while
', trying to climb up on high stool at rail
y road lunch counter.
9 Matrimony among deaf mutes has it.
: disadvantages as well as its sweets-at leas
$ SO thinks the husband i'll Lafayette, Ind.
who, returning home late found his doc
locked against him. No amount of pound
r ing was loud enough to arouse his sleepin,
( spouse, and he was forced to smash win
n dow and crawl into his dwelling.
s Scene in horse-car-Enter determined
1t looking female, to whom a slender-lookin
gentleman offers his seat Il always lik
to oblge the weakersex," affably remarks
Y the youth. "Weaker sex, indeed! An
r. more of your impertinence, young man
r and you'll see whether Pm weak or not |!
II Then assuming a defiant dir, she grateful
Is sat down in the vacant seat.
!. Wheeling, W. Va, has very eccentri
+ storekeeper who will not sell an article {
any kind to cross-eyed man, or one VIII
wears his hat on the side of his head.
a. he leaves his house to 60 to his place c
# business and meets a cross-eyed man, b
ir will return home, take off his hat and COZ
d and remain in doors for considerab!
e. time before again venturing out.
1t A little girl of six or seven summers
Is stopping with her parents at one of til
fashionable hotels at Saratoga Springs We
e. invited ut dinner to take some wine as
is was passed around She declined "Wh
is do you not take wine with your dinuel
ct Minnie ?" "'Tause don't like it," 'Bl
ne take little then, my child, for yo,
le stomache's sake" he urged. Il amt dc
A no tommiks ache" Indignantly repiie
~ -. the little miss in the most emphatic maj
re- per.
i A blacksmith was lately summoned to
I