The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-01-05
VARIETIES.

VAhlL1lESe
-Slip-knots-Divorces.
Mink fur is less worn.
"A CREASED needle will float.
"A pretty hood-Childhood.
House decorators-Wo
Ground Observation-Disclosures
To keep dry-Live on Goldfish.
Bonds irredeemable-Va ga-bonds.
The fate of fowers-To be blowed.
Walking sticks-Swells promenad-
ing.
"A more expensive hood-Woman-
hood.
"A mere matter of form-Cutting a
dress.
Claws that never scratch-Santa
Claus.
"A regular purr-loiner-A cat in a
meat shop.
kissing the bride in church has gone
out of fashion.
High combs, a la giraffe, are reap
pearing.
MAN iEthe only animal that wears
short socks.
Yale College is registered colored
voter in Boston.
-Book-keepers should always write
aledger-ble hand.
The song of the widow-What is
home without another?
Sure to harrow up your soul-Peg
ends inside your bools.
"A man ever ready to scrape ac-
quaintances-Th barber.
The pre-hysteric period-Before
tight-lacing was invented.
Every unsuccessful suicide should
be sent to a lunatic asylum.
One of the richest furs for trimming
is the tisher-tail; but it costs.
-Fringes of hair from the forehead,
shading the eyes, are in style.
There are as many fashion changes
in confectionery as in millinery.
"A Winterport (Me.) manufacturer
has made $4,000 vests this season.
England buys more of our leather
than all other lands put together
-" Swell" once a slang word for
nobby, is passing into good usage.
"A blood-thirsty new toy is Rus
sian, cimetar in hand, hunting a Turk
The kind of flower oftenest raised
by mothers of unruly boys-The lady
slipper.
Whom God hath joined is the
Indianapolis HeraldS heading for di-
yorce news.
-" What is smile?" asked man
of a little girl. 1.-The whisper of a
laugh said she.
Over SS,OOO,OO0 has thus far been
expended in the erection of the New
York and Brooklyn bridge.
A man who has just had to rig his
wife up in a hundred-dollar seal-skin
cloak charges it all to the RICHER OF
the climate.
The reason they say man who
has been drunk has "been on lark, y
must be on account of the early rye,
sir.-HaoOb-Eye.
"A Delaware paper says of man
whose cow died: "Mr. Jones has the
sympathy of the entire community in
this his dark hour of grief.
"A man in Leon, Kan, in digging a
well struck stream of water at a depth
of twenty feet, in which fish were found
from four to eight inches long.
Life, young man, is only
A slippery sheet of ice:
No girl there-it's lonely;
One girl there-it's nice.
AT dinner of shoemakers the fol.
lowing toast was given: MAY we
have all the women in the country to
shoe, and all the men to boot
IT'S said when you kiss Boston
girl she holds still till you get through,
when she flares up all at once and says
"IshOuld think you would be ashamed
Can anyone explain why it is that
you never find even one good-looking,
healthy young lady in village where
the mail comes in only twice week.
Free Press.
-" Jane cried fond mother, stick.
ing her head out of the bedroom door,
it is eleven o'clock; tell that Young
man to please shut the front door from
the outside"
Mrs. Sherman is very severe in hel
criticism of dancing. A letter from the
lady on the propriety or improperly OF
kissing would be read with much inter.
est. The latter habit is failing of the
Generals.
Stanley, though not married man,
has learned what it is to have his hail
turn white prematurely. The expe.
rience is common with people who carry
the war into Africa.
As long as three women can sail
along the sidewalk side by side, max
ing all who meet them turn into the
gutter, why should they lose sleep be-
cause they can't vote?
Smith (after telling regular
one'O: 81 assure you, Jones, if hadn't
seen it myself l wouldn't have believed
it." Jones: "Ha-h'm-well, you
know, didn't see it,
There is a growing tendency to
create more public holidays that should
be stopped. There are so many legal
holidays now that half the banks can't
get chance to .-HaUk-Eye.
"A recent article shows that Wash