Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1878-10-09
HumOrsOme Waits.

The boy who will ride around all day on
velocipede considers himself terribly i'm
posed upon if he has to wheel his baby sister
two or three blocks.
AN honest Hibernian. in a company who
blamed the clergy for taking a tenth part of
the peoples property, exclaimed: AYE,
they would take twentieth, if they could"
THE Philadelphia Chronicle Heraid thinks
it isn't so nice after all to live in Ohio The
Ohio man may get the tat offices. but when
he dies the medical college invariably gets
him.
A DOCTOR went out for a days hunting,
and on coming home complained that he
hadn't killed anything. That's because
you didn't attend to your legitimate bust
ness" said his wife.
A BosToN young man married against
the wishes of his parents, aud in telling a
friend how to break the news to them, said
Tell them first that I'm dead, and gently
work up the climax
A YOUNG lady was worrying an editor by
reading her poem to him, and asked when
she had finished, What part Of my poem
do you like best 80 The part YOU have
not read" said the editor
Rev. JONI JASPER, of Virginia, says
shines on dis side OBJ de hous, Will in de
ebenin, on dat side Oh de hous. Now, eff he
don't move, how com he dar -
81 wish you would not give me such short
weight for my money! said customer to a
grocer, who had an outstanding bill against
him. Aud | wish YOU wouldn't give me
such long wait for mine, replied the grocer.
NOTHING thrills the female clerk in a
country post-ofiice with greater satisfaction
than to get hold of a postal card containing
four thousand words-that is. if they are
written in a egble hand and the person to
whom the card is addressed is not wait
ing for it.
An American tourist was visiting Naples,
and saw VesuviuS during an eruption.
Have you anything like that in the new
world y was the question Of an Italian
| spectator. " No." replied Jonathan, but
| guess we have mill-dam that would put it
out in five minutes"
TINS is boys composition on girls :
Girls are the only folks that has their own
way every time. Girls is of several thou
sand kinds, and sometimes one girl can be
like several thousand girls if she wants to
do anything. This is all | know about
| girls and father says the less know about
them the better off am
He was young and inexperienced, and as
he sat on the front stoop her stern parent
moved the previous question, the house sus-
tanned him, and the resolution to adjourn
was carried, aye" by the old man and
ugh " by the young man as he touched
the street, with greater emphasis than was
ever dreamed OF by Gushing when he wrote
his " Manual"
AT a railroad station, lately an elderly
lrish-woman who had arrived few seconds
after the train had started, set off to run
after 1t. She of course soon came to a halt,
when she began to abuse the uuaccommo-
dating engine, adding, with mate +"
brogue Faugh the great black ugly
lump When she gets as ould as me, bedad,
she won't run so quick"
/ TELL MS not in mournful numbers that
tins life is but dream, when a girl that
weighs one hundred gets outside a quart of
cream, aud then wants more.-Eimird Ga
seue. Life is real, life is earnest, and the
| girls knc what they need, but on cream
they are the durndest set to show their grit
and gre ed. No encore l-New York Ne,cs.
Let u.s. then, be up and doing, with heart
for any fate but never let us go a-wooing
girls that want second plate. How's that
-Ne~Sboy. But if her papa be wealthy, and
the ice cream man will trust, even though it
mayn't be healthy, let her gorge till like
bust. Why not ?-Erchdnqe.