Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1878-08-02
humorous.

1t has boon discovered that the noise
made hy bees is n lament, Detroit tNt
Press Especially when they use
Shou-harea hoy for II phonograph. .-
Cincinnati Commercial,
\ woman in Salcsville, o., has lust
had five children II birth, All are
doing well. The father is looked upon
rs y bigger man than old Grant"
Whom the monnhcams son ana silvrry
kiss the ercaktlg gate
George and louc will stay there tn very
Late. r hHd OATS,
Fnr cyprus Victoria sighed;
So cReeusnUld weut aud gut Il,
Saws hN, = II your MaipSt, plearc
Its better than tf We had ught &C."
london Pdpsr,
New Jersey has n millionaire barber.
He never spoke except to whisper
NcNt. and had been known to tell II
man that his hair did not need to he
cut.
Mrs. Mccormick, Of Salesvillc. Ohio,
has Just given birth to i've children
Thus 0hio goes ON. There will ho no
room for anybody who doesn't como
from Ohio directly. BaBdh Express.
We had hoped to mako m elaborate
article on the evils of Mormonism, and
hero il is announced that cnrh o( Brig.
ham Noungs hcirs gets S2l 900. No
body can preach in the face nf such
circumstances as that BoRdio Express
More drunkenness this month, thus
far, than for three months past in the
same length Of tmo what does il
mean : National ProhibiioniI. Moan
Why IL means that it's sot weather.
Ask us something hard y, louis Jour.
Nav comes the merry munchlup time,
Wh,u luscious NIL Ions We shalt cat,
Aud cnsl asidc The suppury unh
10 hronk AneCk npoa the kttect
Acting up to his principles Gontlo-
man Why, man, you've swallowed
half cork in that whisky r. Extra
hand - All right, sor; I'm oontint. "
larned TO take iyerything in tho spilit
in which it is offered .
II twas just after Lady Macbeth spilled
soup on the front breadth of her new
moonlight blue summer silk that she
remarked, amid u strong odor Of ben
zine and ammonia, "Out, dad hinged
spot. The quotation il little " free,
but we cannot use her exact language
in family paper.
Whose ne is this2' asked loafei
~ he compncently slipped glass, IN n
Port Chester saloon. "Dat's Mynheor
Schnolders, very XX." was the roply.
Well, when meets Schneider | pays
him, snid the loafcr, and walked OF
scott free Port Chester Journal
want, and will have, wife with
ont u failing, was thorcmark Of y young
man who had three seasons expert
enco of life. His sister, with only ~
country girls philosophy, remarked
!" Then you'll never marry, because
should you find such n woman, she'll
character
A book farmer was discovered sitting
under II tree IN one corner OF his grain
field few mornings since reading, IN u
very loud tone, IL pamphlet report Of
the Bcechcr-Tilton trial, llo explained
that the weather was very hot, and he
wns trying il new plan 10 shock I his
wheat.-NorriStolOn Williams.
a man who tainted Mt camp-moet-
ing was sndly disappointed. lie ox-
pCctcd that dozen men would rush
up, pull whisky tasks ont Of their peck
ots and give HIM drink To revive him.
Tile TASKS were forthcoming, but they
didn't contain enough liquor to mOlstcn
his lips He tainted too late in the dizzy
NouiSoWa Hu,tM.
A lover who had "gono West" to
make u home for his +" Birdie"
wrote 10 her I've got tile finest quar-
ter section Of land (lG0 acrcs) ever put
my foot down on. Birdie wrote bqck
suppose you buy another quarter sec
tod, John, SO we can hlyo lawn
around your foot p John made II
home but Birdie never was the mis-
trcsA of it,
"I1 never ataryc, my dear" he said
Unto his rural brlde
Ar through thr garden walk the two
Were u oil NJ side ~ side
The ] ttlt farmers GIL Il oted up,
AM Why :" she arc j. sad.
Because, qnolh he, ~ lou have
A ltlc hpu mnld hrnd n
ronkes Gaseut
Two ncwsboys on Pennsylvania ave-
nue., approaching Seventh street. The
smaller boy stuck with bundle Of
papers. The larger boy, cndnyerous
wretch, who had "sold out" with in
vortcd cheek and manipulating digts,
busy extracting the hat atom Of mois-
turo from an orange. Small n. B.
/" Now, see here, Fluffy, You just hand
over that ere orange; the bargain was
that you was TO suck To Seventh stree"
Fluffy Throwing the remains, that
looked as ifa mastodon had stepped on
il, 10 his pard) -" Take the darned
thing; there amino juice in it, no
how