The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1878-10-26
Single Copies, 3 cts.
WIT AND WISDOM.

When is young mans arm like the
Gospel? When it maketh glad the waist
places.
Samson was an eminent tragedian in his
day, and in his last act brought down the
house.
What we wish to do we think we can
do, but when we do not wish thing it be-
comes impossible.
lie who thinks too much of himself
will be in danger of being forgotten by the
rest of the world.
-Affectation discovers sooner what one is
than it makes known what one would fain
appear to be.
Show me people whose trade is dis
honest and will show you people whose
religion is sham.
"A miser of sixty years old refuses him
self necessaries that he may not want them
when he is hundred.
An old bachelor is traveller on life's
railroad, who has entirely failed to make
the proper connections.
Seek to converse in purity with your
own pure mind and with God The first
and highest purity is that of the soul.
The foundation of the meanest man is
laid when small boy turns the worm hole
in an apple for his companion to bite from.
"A graveyard inscription in Kennebunk,
Me-, reads thus: Poor Joe! his head is
level now, if it never was before" This is
a grave as well as true remark.
Power is not always proportionate to
the will. One should be consulted before
the other, but the generality Of men begin
by willing and act afterwards as they can.
Josh Billings says: "When young
man amt good for anything else, like to
see him carry gold headed cane. If he
can't buy cane, let him part his hair in the
middle!"
-"Do you want checks with roses?" asks
a medical advertisement. No, we don't
no "cheek" with our roses, if you please
We get "cheek" with too many things now
a-days.
-" Sam you's larned in de law; can you
say if ole Lucifer was to lose his tail, where
would he go to find anoder one? ? Why, to
de tabern, of course, you ignoramus-dats
de only place knows on where dey retail
bad spirits"
"A married man in New Hampshire
has adopted an original method of econo-
my. One morning, recently, when he
knew his wife would see him, he kissed the
servant girl. The house expenses were in
stantly reduced 5000 per year.
From the time boy is eight years old
until hc is thirteen he devotes two solid
hours every day of his busy life to learning
how to make new kind of noise. By the
time he is thirteen years old he has saccumu-
lated noise enough to last him the rest of
his natural life, and use three kinds ofnoises
the same day, too.
Dublin society has always been famous
for nicknames. A few years ago a we'll
known western landlord, Lord-Lieutenant
of his country, went by the name (he was
very short-sghted) of Blind Hockey"
his wife, Lady Louisa dubbed " Unlimited
| Loo" and his heiress Chicken Hazard"
lie was an old, old man, and when ho
came in with twenty-four foot bamboo
fishpole and carelessly remarked that that
was the kind of cornstalks his garden pro-
duced in good season, we never said word,
but walked into the other room and register
ed a solemn vow never, never to print any
more agricultural temsi if it led men into
such mountainous cXaggeraton as this.
The principal of school at Manchester,
N. H., during recess saw boy walking
about outside the school-yard, called him in,
asked him savagely if he didn't know it
was against the rules to go outside the fence
during school hours, received an affirmative
answer, marched him into the building and
gave him a sound feruling. He then dis
covered that the boy attended another
school and was out on a holiday.