The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1878-06-24
CoI0ress Debate.

so cautious periodical as tue SclentaJlC
Observation-Disclosures, Sun.
si .@E CoIoretg Debate.
Our Chicago correspondent sends us an
account OF meeting, giving the arguments
brought forward to settle the question,
I" Which hab produce de mos wonders-de
lan' or de water2"
The meeting having been called to order.
the chairman said, d" Water takes de lead"
DR.. Crane came forward. He said: "Mr.
Chairman, geografers tell US dat one quar-
ter OF de yaath's surface is LAM an and three
quarters is water; in one squaar foot OF dat
water is more wonders dan in forty squaar
rods OBJ LAM. Desc chilen settin' round
hyar can figger on dat. OATS q argument l
introduce JUS to keep de chillen quiet q
while. When YOU spill water on label II
spreads all out thin-on clean table, l
mean. Now, sposen de table dusty. Note
de change. De water separates in globuies.
(For de information of some Of de folks
would explain dat globuleS is drops-sepa-
rated dreps.) Now, why is dat! Isn't dat
wonderful? Can dc LAM do like dat? No,
saar. Derc's no such wonder in de LAM"
Mir. Laukins said: "Mr. Chairman,
don't see nothing wonderful in de water
gittin' in drops on de dusty table. Ddts de
nctcher Oh de aceter. Dere's nothing non
derful in anything actin 'cordin' to hatcher.
| Sposen it wasn't its hatcher, what causes 1t
to get into drops? De aust. De DUST de
LAM, de lam! De wonders in de lam,
after all. Mr. Chairman, DR.. Crane makes
no argument for dc water ut all, but all Tor
de LAM. He makes a pint dat de table
should be dusty. De dust makes de Won
= n aho n irafa
wants no better argument for de lam dan
DR.. Crane makes"
Mr.. Runnicut said: "NIr. Chairman,
speakin' OBJ de wonders IN dc water, take
| INV nosition on Niagary Falls-de gran,
stupenjus, magestick wonder OBJ de hole
world. Dere's no such or-inspiring Object;
| in de LAM. Den see de waterfalls oh minor
Importance scattered all ODER de face ob dc
yaarth. Who cher saw de lan' rollin' obcr
de precipice like de water? See de mitey
oshun. She hole up de ship full OBJ fratc
an passengers widout props, and yit dc
ship move along in de water ii JUS 4 little
wind touch her. Put de ship on &c lam
am load her; forty locomotives teal
her all to pieces fore she move
DR.. Crane tells us deTe's more wonders
in one square foot OBJ water dan in forty
rods OBJ LAM. He's right Why, one night
las week rs ODER to Doc RusselPs house
am dc ole doctor he AK me would I like to
see drop oh water in his glass (his masni'
fyin' glass, 1 mean; L tole UNI sartiniy. Sc
he rig up de glass, AM when be get TIM all
right he tole me to take Il good look. Wa'al,
Mr.. Chairman, in dat one drop: OBJ water
I seed more wonders dan cher saw IN
de hole course Oh my life. Dere was 9
| animal Ikea gran'mother's fight-cap vic
= t.,~5 ,yf
thing like a curry-comb with flounced
handle. Dere was q year OBJ corn with
rulf1e down each side, an de fuss ting
min along an JUS swallered it. Talk about
wonders on dc lam! dey ANITA patchin' to
de water"
Mr.. LeWnaa,l said "De fuss oh Mr. Hun.
nicuts argument seems to me.is ali for dc
lam. Dere would be no Niasary Or any
odder falls il de Ian wasn't in such mos
wonderful shape to make falls. De water
falls, cause OATS its hatcher. JUS look
right here in Mount Vernon. Dere's Nor.
toms Dam. Dere's de same principle, de
same law oh hatcher. Take away Gle dam,
de water is no more dan common water.
No, saar, dere's no wonder in de a0ater at
Niagary. De wonder is in de LAM"
+. DR.. Crane said: ''Perhaps it's not gen.
orally known, but still it is fac. dat il it's
not for de water in de air we'd all die.
Dere must be water in air we take into our
lungs to sustain life. AM strange as it may
seem, dere mus be water in de air to slls-
tain combustion. You could not kindle q
fire were it not for de aqueous gases OBJ de
air (bY aqueous, [ mean Watery). | call
dat wonderful can see nothing like it in
de lan'-dat dc water which put out de fire
is necessary to make de fire burn"
Mr.. Morehouse said "Mr. Chairman, /
hope dat you'll rule out all dat Dr.. Crane
JUS said. Instruct de committee not to
take no count oh it, Sich talks too much
fool nonsense. excuse my spreSsion, but
/ get so excited when hear sich tonic lery
am ridiculus slush in 'spectable meetin'
dat forgets myself, an don't know for de
mint wedder Tse driYin' mule-Waggiu or
in meetin'. Scuse me, an I'll try to keep
my fee}in's down. But, as I say, when
SIGH trash is logged in as sinsible argy-
ment, it rifles me.) DR.. Crane says we
mus hab water to breeye. l daar him to de
trial. He may go down an stick his college
he'd (eXcuse me, saar), his dedicated hed. IN
de creek, am take his breeVin' dar, saar, az
I'll take my STAN am my breeVln> on als
platform, by de stove, am let &c committee
decide de case on de merits oh de proof on
who holes out de longest. Den listen to
what be SEE about water maxim de lire burn.
Did YOU eher-did you eber hyaar de like ?
Now, cordin' TO DIR. Crane, sposen wants
to start fire in dis var stove. I gifts some
shayin's am puts in, den some pine kindlin's,
den berry carefully pour on little. JUS a
little, karysene, den puts on few nice pieces
OBJ coal, lights match, sticks her to de
shayin's, an she don't burn; I lights q
newspaper am frows her under de CRATE;
de shavin's don't light. I gifts mad, am l
siaps in a bucket oh water, am away she
goes, ali ablazin' in a second. Oh, shaw !!
SIGH bosh! Don't take no count oh dat.
It aeonld be wonder il it was true; but,
oh my what cabbage it is !! Jedges, don't
take no count OBJ SIGH idle talk. say,
saar, dat de LAM produce de mos Won
ders. Look at de trees, &c flowers, de
grain, de cabbages, de inguns, dat spring
UP out OBJ de LAM. Look at de Mammoth
Cave, more wonderful dan oil de falls dat
cher fell. See how dey bore in de groun'
fifteen hundred feet am more, an out come
coal-oil two thousan' BARI mint. I'd
JUS like to see any desc water folks bore y
hole fifteen hundred feet down into de
ocean, an pump out one gallon OBJ coal-oil
In an hour Can you dig down In de ocean
mr. in dc, lakes an git out gold, am SLIDER,