Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1878-09-18
what TIE Wits'are s.y,...

love you;
Thou lowest me:
He or she loves it,
We marry;
You are mistaken;
They separate
u yoats to be an haneelr-
Ko:red Ont that bOist'rous elf
b9,, Just INC same. put those pe,,s
High on the pantry.shelf. '"s
Dweliers along the sea-coast ~, ~.
famous for their skill in phonooraeho not
Notwithstanding their having 80 aphy,
shore-tanned experience. 'ueh
A raptured writer inquiries: .wh.,
there under heaven more humanaals
or, If we may use the term, moro ann
lzing, than a fine black eve in a io'et
woman?" Answer: Two black e ,vsely
The story that Webb HAYES 49,
marry Hannah Boggs was a veal is IL 70
vention gotten up for electionesnr;,nn IN.
purposes by the enemy. "There a;n..
no SIGH woman."-Ohio State Journal
Maud Granger was formerly . 49,.
positor IN . Connecticut printino-os@Ea.li '
and the Norristown Herald knows ns
printer who would like to e set NM MA vi
her. The remark is by no means NOW ".r4
but the sentiment does the Herald nrouS
-Bufalo Express. 'O'u'
Probably, at the last, dreadful a.,
when Gabriel sounds his TRUMP if !,
doesn't stop once or twice between ,Ie
blasts, and shout General. GenaraII
Colonel, l say" not more than two-ffbs
of the men in American cemeteries will
get up.-Burhngton Hawkeye. ''
Train up child in the way that he
shall go, and it may turn out that wav
in the long run, but all the precept and
example ever promulgated can't save
him from the sheepish, awkward feeling
sure to seize him when he goes sparkinss
the first time.-Cincinnah Satudo'
Night
"Why does lightning so rarely strike
twice in the same placer Professor
Workman asked the new bow in the
class in natural philosophy, "HuhS
said the new boy. :" it never needs to-
And it is little singular that nobody
had thought of that reason before
Burlington Hawkeye
81 can't hold this baby any longer"
called out the young husband and faith.
er, SITS getting too heavy" "Pshaw
Edward" replied a muffled voice from
the other side of the room, you used
to hold me for hours and never com.
plain, and baby Is but feather com.
pared to what l was" II was fool"
said Edward. And she was too sleepy
to dispute with him.
Gratifying:-Young person Applying
for housemaid's place, where footman
was kept, objected to children, was en-.
gagged to and visited by a most Spec
able young man in the 'Orse artillery,
and with a fortnight's character from
her last place, but who altogether does
not axactly suit)-"I really ham sorry.
mum, for rather like your appearance,
mum.W
The cure is catechisiug yeay.oA
darling.
"Now tell me-" said he. why did the
good Lord forbid Adam and Eve to eat
of the apples of certain trees"
The enfdnt terrible, after moments
reflection
because the good Lord wanted to
make preserves of them"
She went to the head.
"Spell parsnips," said a South Jan
teacher. "G-i-n, gin," howled the Big
gest boy in the class, "there's your
gin, nan, nan, there's your
nan, there's your gilman, s-h-u.g, shug,
there's your shug, there's yournanshug
there's your ginnanshug, ger, ger
there's your ger, there's your shugger'
there's your nanshugger, there's your
ginnanshugger-" "For mercy's sake
exclaimed the Mortified teacher, as soon
as she could catch her breath, "what
are you doing ?" Spelling par's MP,
said the boy, IAN that's only one OF en-
but he says it's the boss" She told nm
he needn't spoil the others. and ne salu
he'd have the old man write EN- on
postal card and send 'em to her.-bW'
linoton Ha,ckeye. >.
A man with the tOothache doesn
care about anything else. The glorles
Of the world pail on his taste, the Won oD
ders of creation seem as naught Inc
tooth becomes a volcano of belcnlls
fury. and the rest of life hidden IN IN !
cloud of it's billowing smoke. 1 o.,
can't borrow anything of the man WIN
the toothache. You can't instruct alie
improve him. You tell him that lng
world travels at the rate of thousallio
miles minute, and it doesn't stalue
him in the least. He simply groals
You say to him. "My friend, there are
stars so far off that their light has ~.
yet reached the world" but he uoii ~
mind it; he only howls. You tel Ill.,
that some Of tie sun-spots are one n nn5
dred thousand miles in diameter, al"