National Republican., 1878-07-06
THE FUEL AND OIL FUND.
Tho Case of Professor Jewhillikins Kam-
schatka Heliogabalus Wilcox.

schathh Homogeneous "hcoAs
New York Times.l
A painful report has been circulated con.
ccrning the plan adopted for paying the cx-
perts Of Mr.. Glover's committee for their val
liable and patriotic services. 1t appears that
Congress, with a culpable disregard Of tho
claims Of these gentlemen upon its gratitude
and the public Treasury, failed to make an ap-
preparation for paying them. Possibly, tho
fact that they had exhibited q remarkable ap.
titude for finding a Democrat more or less dis
tinguished at the further end Of every clue
that they got hold of may have soured the
mind of the Democratic House, and have dc.
prcciated somewhat the market for the SER
vices of experts They ought to havo
known that the true end Of investigation Is to
unearth Republican rascality, aud their OBJ
tusen ess in perpetually turning up somo
Democ ratio deviltry was properly punished
by failure to make an appropriation for
their pay.
The Democratic mind revolted at the idea Of
paying for all the adding while the dancing
was monopolized by the Republicans. Com
sequently, there was dismay among Mr..
Gloyers experts upon tho adjournment of
Congress, and CONSERVATION still profounder
among tho bOarding-hOuse keepers, washer
women, and bar-keepers of the National Capi-
| tai, who had been patiently waiting for tho
appropriation which was to enable thom to
settle their little bills
But there was one colossal mind which rose
| to the level Of the occasion. Professor James
X. Hamilton Wilcox Is Mr.. Glovcr's chief ex-
pert and bosom companion. After varied
career as an advocate of tho different isms and
vagaries that humanity Is afflicted with, he
has settled down to the conviction that his
truo vocation Is that of expert for Democratic
| investigating committee. Accordingly, he has
been playing Sdneho Idnsa to Mr.. Glovor's Don
QuiJoie during the recent season. When the
announcement that their appropriation had
failed struck dismay to tho hearts of his fell
low-experts, lie slopb remained serene and
unmoved.
lie had not been an expert all winter for
nothing, His selfsatisfed aspect indicated
that he was conscious of resources which
meaner minds knew not Of. The cause Of his
serenity was explained when he smilingly
loomed up at the Treasury Department tho
other day holding tightly In his clutch check
for five hundred and eighty dollars and sew.
eral odd cents, drawn by the Clerk Of the
House against the appropriation for fuel and
OIL" His researches had shown that there
was little balance left of this appropriation
and by a stroke Of strategy worthy OF an OK.
pert, he captured it, The appropriation reads
" for fuel and oil for the heating apparatus,
and knowing that the House would be suf.
fciently heated during the remainder Of the
fiscal year without the adventitious aid Of fuel
or oil, ho kindly undertook to save the bal
ance from lapsing into tho Treasury. Besides,
had he not, by his labOrs as an expert, been
furnishing fuel and oil whorewith TO run tho
Democratic machinO2 Possibly the fuel
was employed in cooking" the accounts oi
tho Treasury so as to produce the deficit Of
slO,0O0.0O0 which the Professor has redently
unearthed, and whose existence was unsus
81 h,V tln nfttn s1,al lsn, tI,.a
counts and handled the funds. The other item
Is probably the midnight oil consumed in hi
lucubrations over the intriGacies Of Treasury
book keeping
1t would be a great pity II, after all the in
genuity displayed IN this affair, some cold
bloOded auditor or controller should throw out
the Professors voucher W. an improper charge
against the appropriation for " fuel and oil fol
the heating apparatus The spectacle Of al
expert disgorging money unlawfully drawn
from the public Treasury would be very pain
ful, aud would be apt to give the Investigating
business u black eye which it would carry TO
some time. 1t would be still more painful |
the first business which Mr.. Glover's commit
tee should have to deal with next winte
should DO the crooked operations of its owl
experts Let Us hope that no such untowart
accident may occur and that the PrOiesso
may DO left in undisturbed enjoyment of tn
fruits OF his oxpertness, even though the.
3 were inadvertently gathered from the wrOnl
tree, The heating apparatus" cannot pos ii
bly, need fuel and oil half so soroy as he need
loUd aud drink. However expert an cxpor
may be- hG can never quite accomplish tn
i fuat of living on air, nor even, strange rs
may seem, on water. Neither can he "worl
for nothing aud find himself" unless indeed
he should find himself in the wOrk.hOu Th
cause of rctrcnChmont and reform impera
, lively demands that we should have experts
. and the demand must be met, even though tn
I heating apparatus should be deprived OF 1t
lull rltioms of fuel and OIL"
TIE Now Orleans PiGGytme and Times agrc
In the opinion that Congress at the late sessio
could have done little less for the South ii
had been uncdr control of a Republican ma