The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-03-28
A Sarcastic Mendicant.
breakfast Table.


"Fm very hungry" said haggard
tramp, with very red eyes, as he stood
bowling obsequiously at the side entrance
of Court-street house. "Won't you
please, mann, be so good as to give me
little something to eat. Anything will
do-odds and ends-cold or warm-it
don't matter, for I'm not one of them
high-toned, fried oyster fellers."
My husband has forbidden me to en-
courage idleness by giving away any
more provisions" replied the lady of the
house. "He says you fellows have a
sort of Free Masonry way of letting
others know every house at which you
have been fed, and it is sure to bring
a troop of lazy vagabonds upon us who
would starve before they'd lift hand
to work. So you will have to move on
and get your breakfast some place else" +"
But I'm not yagabond, nam; Pm
hard-working, industrious man. Icame
up on boat from Memphis to see my
sick mother who lives out near Camden,
and isn't expected to live. was robbed
on the boat of every cent had and all
my clothes, while 1 was in bed. The
Captain gave me these old things. ]
don't like to beg, but Camden is good
stretch from here, and I can't walk it on
an empty stomach. Think of the out
stretched arms of a poor sick mother
toward her absent child. and put wings
ON my feet with few cold potatoes I'm
just at that point where I can eat 'em
without salt"
"I can't do it. They all have story
about like that. The last man fed had
to 20 to Columbus inside of twenty -foul
hours to save an innocent man from
hanging, but two days afterward 1 saw
him down town so drunk he couldn't
hold his mouth shut"
Well, l never drink. If l hadn't
been robbed could show you my Muir
ply ribbon that I've worn till it's raveleC
into strings. Long years ago 1 swore a
my mother hended knee-the same on,
who means on her couch of pain becaus,
Pm not with her-that I would neve
touch the blighting cup, and l hain't
from that time up to this minute. CAN
you help me to get there in time to com
fort her declining hours with the joyfu
tidings that I have been steadfas
through all temptation, by giving m
the cold grub you had intended to dunn
into the garbage box? Pm awfu
hungry"
az can't help it. I must obey my hus
band-his orders were positive" sal
, the woman, snappishly.
"Well, you're the most extraordinar
, woman ever saw if you do. But say
: can't you give me the paper the bee
steak was brought home in, to chew as
E go along. 1t may fool my stomach fo
awhile and make it brace up by thinkin
: something better will be along presently
! You;lldo that much toward easing fon
! parents anxious heart, won't your
+ "No, / WON'T
q a "Well, then give me newspaper an
' let me set by the fire and read the az
n vertisement of a meat market, and sho
= me the place where it tells all about pre-
q visions. Even that would give me
feast-for the imagination-which hs
been about the extent of my livin
! lately. You won't believe it, maybe, br
: it's fact, that all the nourishment "
= had for two days, is the bill of fal
painted on the outside of Fifth-stre,
y restaurant. Can you think of that an
! keep your stale bread on the inside
4 the cupboardT'
eyes, l can; and I want you to max
- yourself scarce without any more p
! laver, or / shall send my boy to call
y policeman" exclaimed the indignal
! woman.
i Even the photograph of chicke
. would be some comfort" said the ma
= by way. OF banter, as he moved o
and if you don't use soap in your dis
,e water few potato parings sliced up
v it would be regular barbecue for me-"