Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1878-05-18
DEACON BABBIT,S PHONOGRap8.

DEACON BABBIT'S PHONOGR4PH.
Deacon Rabbit was progressive and enlightened in
He perused the Science Monthly and the Reviews
Had cabinet of fossils, and some birds securely
stuffed
In his wood house chamber study where his pipe
was daily pulled
1t would make an old time farmer stare around
To see the Deacon churn and plough, and cut his
Pitch his hay and thresh his barley with machinery
alone,
And call his help to dinner with apatent telephone
Thus the Deacon bought each patent that could
Till he heard the papers raving of the very latest
thing:
machine to bottle language. or song or sigh,
Then the Deacon he got crazy to possess phone
graph.
Why. said he. /" Jest think of STORM up for flu
prayer meetin' or conference, 'twould be their
sure salvation;
Or good old hymns; these modern ones are jest as
Thurs no use talkin, 1 must have patent phono-
graph
And no one knows how much 1t cost-the Deacon
And on his study table stood the monograph one
The Deacon pea loaded it with hymns and pious odds
Then donned his hat and sought the street to call
III lTlenuS.
THE BOYS INTERVIEW IT.
Jehenidab. the oldest son, had sought his brother
And they called in the hired man to view the new
They danced and sung, and turned the crank with
uncouth song and laugh,
Not knowing of the mystic powers of that same
monograph.
They could not tell the purpose of the tnfoil on the
The, threatened angrily to kick the thing to king
dom come,
lit cannot dig or plant, or SOW, or do a single
Then they had war dance round the room that
made the study ring.
THE DEACON RETURNETH.
The Deacon found the elder with his work before
him spread,
second head.
And down the street. his smoking cap disported in
His funny figured morning gown spread gayly out
Togeth the, they sought Deacon Smooth, man of
Conservative in politics, religion and expense:
just the opposite to Rabbit he stuck to good old
And he laughed at all inventions ofthese evil mod
ern days.
But Deacon Babbitt walked erect with triumph in
He would show EN- an invention that would
make all SkeptiCS fly
and 'Milbank,'
they heard him turn the crank.
On the table in the study all so simple and serene
Stood me very unpretentious, but remarkable, ma
Then the Deacon he explained to them the dia-
Grasl ed the handle, saying promptly, Just you
hark to what's TO come
~ wonder what the derned old dog has been "a
The Deacon dropped the handle, while the sweat
stood on his brow,
The thing is out of killer, but guess I'll try
30, Keiser, don't you want a.dog?'' and .Betsey
likes her GIN
The elder donned his smoking cap and started for
But Deacon Smooth winkeds lyly, saying he would
like some more;
But Rabbit gazed on the machine with looks of
Then said he guessed he'd Try again; he knew his
h!mns were there.
He grasped the handle firmly, caring nothing for
Of half doing dancing fends with voices like his
boys:
Or shouted songs in melting tones of I'm your
And - WhooI it up, my hearty, boys = Fare
But Deacon Smooth had stood all conservative and
Until the war dance came along, and then he
raised his hand,
And smote the photograph blow that laid it on
mass of wheels and broken springs, thing of
life no more.
The elder ran down the stairs, his fingers in his
ears,
Repeating Scripture to himself to quell his rising
fears,
And saying mildly to himself, "When man de-
SertS his sphere
And penetrates to hidden things he'd better stand
in fear.''
But Deacon Rabbit, good old man, will raise his
head no more,
He sits and gazes sadly at the wreck upon the floor
And tries to understand in vain (wIthOut an eXpla-
nattOn)
How some way in the managementh he lost the COM
DinatiOn.
The boys at noon were curious about the new ma
chine,
But the Deacon told them to "Shut up with such
awrathful mien
That NOT word leaked out about the fatal morn
logs spree,
And Deacon Smooth, conservative, has scored a
victory. Utica Republican.