The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1878-12-13
Mans Darkest Moments.


Are you q mani ? II 80 you have prob.
ably had the pleasure or waiting for a
woman 70 .'get ready"to 60 somewhere.
Getting ready IL q mighty operation for
woman to perform. Il has nlways
been so; but in these days Of oOmph-
Gated costumes, aud innumerable ap.
pendaRes Of the toilet, It is q stupendous
undertaking. You are infatunled with
Miss b. You invite her 10 ride behind
your span Of graya You are wise
n ugh 70 know that all women, or most
OF them, hke q hne turnout and would
much sooner be made love TO by q man
who owns a nice team than by one who
takes his aiFings IN horse cars or omni-
buses.
You set the time at $40 p. m. She
aAks sweetly II you could not just a.
we'll come at 4. OF course she would
like to 60 earlier, bat she doubts II she
can get really, and Of course, as Yoa arc
not married 20 her, you are only too
happy 10 do just ~ ahe wants you to.
After marriage, a. the French say, i've
change ell that" and when monsienr
bids, her madame must be really or be
left behind.
At precisely 4 the next day you drive
20 Miss B . gate with grand flourish.
IL looks old fosyish TO DO walking with
your horses up 10 hitehing post. aud
you have been showing your animals
the Ship few blocks back. They are
stirred up by it. and toss their heads.
aud paw mp papa BIS concrete, and
snap 81 the shrubbery in vicious way.
aud assure you eqnineiy that they had
just as soon not wait for woman 10 get
ready.
/ Ysu think at frat you won't hitch
them. for surely she IL ready, but re.
membeTing former experiences with
those Of her sex. you change your mind
and give = small boy ten cents 10 have
an eye on them. You ring the bell aud
are admitted, and the small boy on.
cages in marble playing with another
amall boy. and trusts the horses 70
Providence.
''Is Miss b. ready3" you bIankly ask
the maid servant.
She d,osh't know, she'll inquire.
You stand frat on one foot and then on
the other. and stare at the hat-tgee, and
pull ap your new style collar, which
ought 10 stand up, but which has devei-
oped an obstinate tendency tolop down,
and you wonder where on earth that
servant has gone 10 inquire, and ron
y AAgAH4Hu
} iater some sharp words 70 your small
delinquent groom, and he thumbs his
nose at yea the minute your back Il
turned.
By the time you get into the house
again Mrs. B is coming down the stairs
! in toilet made in evident haste. She
Is cordial, and invites you into the par
lDr, and says Marie Nill be down in 3
moment, snd she 10 90 sorry 10 have
Kept you waiting.
From abose staira you can hear the
sound Of the notes Of preparation.
Much treading back and forth, opeuIbg
ol closet doors. shutting Of drawers,
scolding Of the maid, in suppressed
tones. and ivelipess generally.
II you could look into Marie's cham
Der you would be in despair. Her
.'erimps" are not taken down. her boots
unbuttoned, her pullback's . elastic cords
, are out Of gear. aud the maid Is fixing
them; she can't find her braceieta; one
cuR pin 10 missing; Ehe has put arnica
on her handkerchief by mistake, think
: ing il Jockey Club; there b . button
OF her b ,sqne from hurried buttoning,
: q ID oh, deari dearI where are her lemon
3 kids, and her parnsol, and her lace
J, scarf, and that c0isl neck chain, AMI =
D shawl and white lace veil, and dozen
] other necessary srticies7
She has hurried so that her face Is ali
. In blaze and she is sure she looks like
i g Washer-Woman, and she seizes her
/" powder-pufE, dabs little chalk on hel
= forehead. and hoI es It won't be seen, q
], she is going out to ride with gentle
!, man and not with woman.
ALI unconscious OF the trials which
. beset your charming Marie, you aFs
: striving 10 do the agree sble 70 Mrs. b
with the sound OF your horses paving
. up tuat sidewalk 10 your e,rs, and yor
know the old man Is particular aboui
2 his groun Is; and directly you heal
+ something snap and rnsh ont TO fine
that one Of your spirited nagB has bitter
: of fence-picket aud 10 trying his bes
Oh another, by way Of dessert.
viii she ever get reasly2
II You 90 back % tell Mrs b. that You
!. horses are 50 restive you mnst stand b
! them, AMI you retire to the sidewalk
painfully conscious that across TIL
street, ip that big tenement house hal
. dozen children and young people, ant
as many more idle 10 ,fsrs, are watching
you and laughing at your predicament
Z and telling each other that that is tn
chap that is trying to court Marie y
s end she's had nine fellers already ans
S every one Of EN- went back on her.
You consult your watch, 5 O'Clock
= You feel inclined to swear . little, bn
= early piety forbids, and you try 70 pos
sess your soul in patience.
:. The door opens. She comes radian
and smiling, In the loyeliest Of new COS
:. tunes, pinned back 30 tight that sh
-a creeps toward you like snail, and 20
5. mentally wonder how she Is ever goin
$ TO step high enough to get into the ca
riage; and her hat is so becoming, an
= her black lace scarf increases the Whit
= ness Of her neck so much, and she tel
= you so sweetly that you feel infnitel
Obliged to her for doing it, aud feel K
Il the moment as if the hixhess and mo
- supreme delight Of existence could
81 found only in waiting for her to 'sg
- ready. .-Kote Thorn.
th a Knoxville Judge delivered the 70
~ lowing opinion in the case Of q Midd
IL Tennessee lawyer: While his beau
has been somewhat enhanced recent