The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1878-04-17

/ a a., 49, ~.
49,, A., 49,. rs,,i. 80. -,-.1.. -.-.
Padding -Bhc strange Hd1cu-
lurc Of 4" StroHg -HGindcd hudy.
IL Is scientific Tact that thc peculiar
species of woman popularity known a.
the female reform r. IS unusually dim
and houy Whether thc advocacy ut
reform has direct tendency to Ua.
velop bones, or whether women wI0 ufr
eongrnllally bony become rc'aIuOr De-.
cause they are shut out from tho ordinary
pleasures and pursuits OF plump and pref
~ women, has never been satisfactorily
ascertaired. Galen expresses the opW
ION that reform d bred ln Che BONE
meaning thereby, that au excess off bones
develops desire for reforms, while. UU
the other hand, Paraccl-u- insists tmr
"when u woman troubloth hor mind cou-
corning ailaits beyond hyr comprehension.
her flesh Wasieth ana hcr bones WaN l.rEc
II Is conceded by ANTAGONISTS and ch.m
lists that the bones ot eminent female r..
formers contain Bn excess of phosphorus
and il has been asserted that itthe elbow
OF Mrs. Swisshelm o. brshly rubbed
against piece at sand paper, DC give. uut
a blush lame accompanied Joy pho-ph0I
Gus acid. IL rs not however. necessary 300
/ thus time to decide upon thc cause off the
! Intimate association between bones aud
/ female retormerS. 20 ls enough simply goo
! remind the public thar Che more earnestly
q woman may advocate female suffrage
and trousers the moro closely may Uo
expect 10 find her approaching the gcu-
eral weight and appearance OF q human
| skeleton,
To this rule there has nevertheless
been one apparent exception which hga
greatly puzzled our scientific men, Tus
Rev. Eliza Holiday who lately minis.
tered TO the Free will Universities cone
gregation of Clinton, ILL.,, and who haas
been present at dozens OF dre. reform
conventions has always been hurled
metaphoucally, of cuur-c-n tho faces
OF those who insist that all female retor
mers are necessarily hony. There is uo
doubt that She has been % stumbling bIocl,
in the path of science, for although hgr
face has been contessedly somewhat Thin
and sharp, her figure has been plump ana
beautifully propor,ioncd lniormer yoars
ii was frequently alleged chat Miss HolIi-
day was partly the product of ART, and
that no confidence ought 90 be placed iu
her apparent plumpness; but after CONE
mittee of her enemies had watched hor
for an entire year, and made sure chat
during that time not one ounce of cotton
had entered her house, they were forced
TO give up their unworthy suspicious.
That she was entirely genuine was gradu.
ally conceded by all and our ablest sci,
entiic persons were finally compelled to
admit that she was either an eatircIy
new species Of female ref0rmer or that
she was a large and heavy h,sgs uutyru-
Their want of absolute confidence iu tho
uniformity of nature has since been sig-
nally robuked, and they are now roadv Nh
affirm that they always knew that sbe
was no exception to the universal law.
On the third Thursday in Msrch last
the congregation over which Miss uolli-
day presides celebrated the tenth ami
versary of its birth. and Miss Holiday
was 10 deliver lecture.
Rev. Miss Holiday opnroacbed fba
Town Hall at precisely five minutes be.
fore o'clock, and mt once perceiveJ
that she could never force her wav
through the people TO the stage. In
this emergency ono of the town Trustee
Mr. Henry Barnes, q man of uuim.
peaohahle veracity-prOposed that Sine
should gain a rear window by means of "a
ladder, and So raach'thc stage withoutdif
ticulty. To this proposal she assontcd and
the ladder being procured, Mr.. Barnes
held it while she cautiously assembled
to the window. He has since testified
that IN spite of the utmost discretion ON his
part Miss Holidays Ostensiblu plump
ness could not escape his notice, and hc
repudiates with scoru. the suove.tioUs
that the fact that the stripes were hori-
zontal, produced upon himau impression
Of plumpness which did not really exist
There happened 10 be a sharp nGil pro.
iecting from the side of the ladder ucgr
its upper end, and Mr.. Barnes asserts
that Miss Holiday, having gouged ono
of ber-in short. having come I'm contact
with this nail. gave little shrek which
drew his attention to-. Atauv rate. he
claims that it was not his fault, and that
he was nos the victim Of "a mere Occular
delusion.
The eloquent and plump rol0rmer
was received by the audience with great
applause, and began a superb Grafton uu-
on "Sincerity." She demanded that men
and women should be, above all thing-
sincere, and should avoid shams and pro
lenses Of all kinds. Warming with her
argument, she walked 10 and fro upon the
stage, and occasionally stamped her foot
with many emphasis. Soon the audience
began to notice a curious deposit, Of color
and general appearance of bran, which
formed little ridges along the stage
wherever the speaker walked. IL was
also noticed whenever sho stamped her
foot, or remained in che position for few
moments, small mound Of the mys-