The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1878-08-08
PASSING SMILES.

DETROIT has an "Applepie-street,n
but the upper crust doesn't live Oh, it.
SPIDERS ought to be good correspond
ents. They drop line by every post
TIE camp-meeting horn which sounds
before breakfast is not the horn usually
taken by sinners.
BY accident, Boston paper lately
headed q marriage notice Ingenious
Attemptto Swindle."
GIVE little to those who ask, though
you suspect them to be impostors. 1t
may not do them good, but it will you.
FEW BARRIERS can ever look upon them
selves as being one of -s@-
the few the immortal names
That were not born to dye.
WE are never more deceived than
when we mistake gravity for greatness,
soiemnity for science, or pemposity for
erudition.
ALEXANDER the Great used to say
that he was more indebted to Aristotle
for giving him knowledge than he was to
his father for Life.
EVERY boy knows that even the
worm will turn if trodden upon, and
therefore, perhaps, uses as many of them
as possible for bait.
ENVY is frequently the foundation of
false reports. There is a jealousy which
renders the success of others provoca-
tion of malevolence.
THERE would be less willingness to go
to war if the shot of the enemy were dis
tributed like prize money-the larger
part to the higher ranks.
WHAT'S the difference between the
Prince of Wales and water in foun-
tain? One is heir to the throne, and the
other is thrown to the air.
Boys and girls both wear switches.
The formers, however, is confined to no
certain locality, and the thick end is
generally in the old mans hand.
EVERY rose, it is said, has its thorn,
but any one who has ever gone into the
country to pick them, will swear that
every blackberry has its fifty or a hun
dred.
VERY few tramps are taking Eu-
ropean tour this summer. They are, as
usual, however, taking on the European
plan whatever they happen to find lying
loose around the country.
How funnyl If you see merchant
studying up the sailing days of foreign
steamers, you form high opinion of his
business; but if cashier does it, you
draw your deposits from his bank in
Stanter.
CAREFUL readers will have observed
that most of the English poets have a
good deal to say about the beauties of
early morning. This same habit of COM
ing home about dawn is still continued
by good many who are not poets.
Turpr b<, %,
ences between a single cat in fit and a
couple of them in tight, but it amounts
to about the same thing if they each hap
pen to select the fower-pot in the front
yard as the scene of their activities.
IT is popularity believed that the first
time man ever blushed upon this sinful
earth was when as a boy he first saw the
condition of his hair after issuing from
a cutting and indiscriminate summer
scissoring at the hands of his mother.
IF you take one of the new silver half
dollars, pour little muriatic acid on
the figure of the eagle, and set it out in
the sun for twenty minutes, when you
come to look at it, it will be gone. And
the tramp who took it will be gone, also.
|. A MAMMOTH ghost, robed in blue and
scarlet, appeared on the Western sky
last evening in Greenville. Do these
apparitions result from too much ice
water Cincinnati Gazette. Yes, sir; it
is clear case of colorin'- phantom
Graphic.
MACMAHoN is said to be over-felic-
itous in his remarks. Passing through
hospital in Paris, he was told that a
patient had meningitis. "a very bad
disease" said MacMahon. 1t either
kills you or leaves you demented. /
have had it myself
A FRENCH priest recently gave out
an announcement of procession to take
place next day, as follows: Z" If it rains
in the morning, the procession will take
place in the afternoon, and if trains in
the afternoon, the procession will take
place in the morning."
ANOTHER advantage in moonlight
nights for lovers is that the brilliant
radiance enables the young men to per-
ceive the sign of the dangerous ice
cream saloon from remote distance,
and consequently, by turning down
some other street, save himself.
GA wAsP's nest contains fifteen thou
sand cells" and the greatest number of
these "sells F" is to sit down on the nest
under the mistaken impression that all
the wasps have gone to the seaside or
somewhere on visit. A single wasp
loafng in the back kitchen will give the
sitter warm reception.
The innocent days of childhood form
one of the sweetest periods of life. The
slightest events then are glorious golden
epochs. What degree of ingenious
ness it shows in boy, that when tread
ing the deck of steamboat for the first
time, he expresses to his father his error
in always heretofore believing it bore
some resemblance to deck of cards.
OBITUARY POETRY.
In marked contrast to the ridiculous obituary
that go the rounds Of the press, is the following
really touching little poem, which we clip trom the
Detroit Free Press:
| A lily broken by the rain,
Before q single earthly stain
has on its velvet whfteness lain;
snowy bird that close caressed
By the soft, brooding mother breast,
Dares yet forsake the sheltering rest,
And straight, before its silver wings
Have ever stopped to baser things,
Plies up to heaven, and flying sings
These and all other pure and mild
And lovely objects undecided,
Are types of what thou vert. my childI
Rosewood.
It has puzzled many to decide why the