Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1878-11-22

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with a glacier.
Two little girls were comparing pro
gress in Catechism study. Il have got
YOU got Y' "0h, I'm beyond redemption, u
said the oth.r.
A girl in Kentucky struck her croquet
palmer on the head with a mallet /;
brain fever set in, and the young man
nearly died The girl was kept under
arrest until his recovery, and, when he
got we'll she married him, and now he's
sorry he didn't Gic.
A newspaper writer mourns because
America has no cmblematic national
plant" as most other nations have
Why, what's that American plant-the
er-ah-the what you may call 1t; We
can't think of the name just now, but it
grows on Z stalk, and they make whisky
of it.
"What is your notion of absent
mindedncss?" asked a lawyer of wit
ness whom he was crOSS-examining.
"Well," said the witness, Il should say
that man who thought he'd left his
watch at home, and took it mt of his
pocket TO see if he had time TO 60 home
and get it, was absent-minded."
An old gentleman took UP a patent
medicine almanac from pile lying on a
druggists counter, at the same time
asking TIE clerk, "Are these gratuitous?'
To which that matter-Of-fact young man
replied: "Why, 10, thcm's almnnacs.
Can't you rea,l?'
A dogfsh became enuangled in the net
of some French fishermen near Cape
Adge lately, and after dragging their boat
about during the entire night at the rate
Of twelve miles an hour, was finally cap
tured and brought to land. 1t measured
over sixteen feet in length, and weighed
about $500 pounds. It's enormous
stomach contained the head, feet, and
several other portions of mule, as well
as two half-digested tunnyfsh.
Only a few years ago John Bull
sneered at any butter or cheese from
Brother Jonathan's country as "tough or
strong" but now there is a steady and
growing demand for American cheese
and butter in the English and Scotch
markets, as there is for American meats.
The annual consumption of cheese in
England is 3OO,OOO,OOO pounds, or ten
pounds for each inhabitant, while in
the L .ited States it is only 180,000,O00
pounds, an average of four and haf
pounds per head.
GOOD SocIETY-Parents, your daughter
is in good society when she is with girls
who are sweet and pure and true hearted;
'ThO are Tot vain and frivolous; who
think Of something besides dress, or
flirting, or marriage; between whom
and their parents there is confidence !;
who are useful as well as ornamental in
the house; who cultivate their minds,
and train their hands to skilful work.
manship. If society of this kind is not
TO be had then none at all is preferable
to a worthless article.
THE PYRAMIDs.-The immense stones
used in the erection of the pyramids of
Egypt were obtained from the quarries
in the Arabian hills, and were carried
over the river by bridge of boats. They
were then brought by means of q cause
way, which of itself took ten years to
construct, and which is said to have been
a fine work, with its polished stones and
figures of animals engraved on them.
One hundred Thousand men were en-
ployed at time, and these were relieved
by the same number at the end of three
months. A long time was spent in lew
cling off the rock on which the edifice
stands, and twenty years for the erection
Of the edifice itself The stones were
raised, step by step, by means of a ma
chine made of short pieces Of wood; and,
last of all, commencing from the top, the
stones were cemented together by layers
of cement not thicker than a strip of
paper, the strength of which is proved
by the age of these enormous materials.
CANDoR.-There is nothing sheds so
fine light upon the human mind as
candor. 1t was called "whiteness" by
the ancients; for its purity, and it has
always won the esteem due to the most
admirable of the virtues. However little
sought for or practised, all do it the hom-
age of their praise, and all feel the
power and charm of its influence. The
man whose opinion makes the deepest
mark upon his felloW-men, whose in
huence is the most lasting and efficient,
whose friendship is instinctively sought
where all others have proved faithless,
is not the man of brilliant parts, or
hattering tongue, or splendid genius, or
commanding power, but he whose lucid
candor and ingenious truth transmit
the hearts real feelings pure and with
out refrac.ion. There are other qualities
which are more snowy, and other traits
that have higher place in the worlds
code of honor; but none wear better, or
gather less tarnish by use, or claim
deeper homage in that silent reverence
which the mind must pay to virtue
A SHREwD CLERGYMAN.-A popular
minister had Just finished an exhOrta-
ton strongly recommending the support
of a meritorious institution. The con-
gregation was numerous, and the chapel
was crowded TO excess. The discourse
being finished, the plate was about beng
handed round to the respective pews,
when the preacher made this short
address to the waiting congregation =
From the sympathy have Witnessed
IN your countenances, and the strict
attention you have honored me with
there is one thing that am afraid of
that some of you may be inclined to give
too much. Now, it is my duty to inform
you that justice, though not SO pleasant
should always be prior virtue to gem
erOsity; therefore, as you will ali be
Immediately waited upon in your re-
spective pews, wish to have it Thoroughly
understood that no person shall think
Of putting anything into the plate whe
cannot pay his debts" We need not
add that this produced most overflow
ing collection.