The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1878-06-08
GLEANINGS.

Our extra strong minded woman has
who, through selfish motives, has refrained
from making some woman wretched
The pint Of the rgument.-Girl:
"Please, will you give me a drink ~
Barman: 60 Why don't you go home for a
drink o"-Girl: "Please, sir, my mothers
a teetotaller."
80 Editing paragraph column" OBJ
serves the Elmira Gazette, "is like riding
the trick mule in a circus-ever, body thinks
its an easy job until they get straddle of
the mules back
Proper warning-A placard in the
window of patent medicine vendor in
Paris reads as follows: "The public are re-
quested not to mistake this shop for that of
another quack just opposite
A man may face death with composure
and adversely with smiles, but the chances
are that he will hop and swear when he
discovers that twenty cent silver piece
has been palmed off on him for quarter.
"A Yankee humorist was giving an &C
count of his experience as hotel-keeper.
Did you clear anything by it," asked a
listener. - cleared six-rail fence get.
ting away from the sheriff. was the reply.
Can a sailors speech at sea be called a
dock-eration ?-Er. Certainly it can by
anybody who wants to get off joke that
was originally perpetrated when Columbus
addressed his crew on discovering America.
Dan Rice says he can get along with
cross wife, fault-fnding mother-i law,
or bowling dog better than with the old
lady from the country who tries to pass
her husband in as under twelve years of
age"
-" Are you trying to raise mustache,
my son?' kindly inquired heavily whs-
kered father, the other morning. observing
the young man scraping his face " in the
place where the hair ought to grow
Yes, SIR" mournfully replied the boy;
"since you failed, its about all can raise"
The five-year old son of family the
other day stood watching his baby brother,
who was making great noise over having
his face washed. The little fellow at length
lost his patience, and, stamping his tiny
foot, said, -" You think you have lots of
trouble, but you don't know anything about
it. Wait till you're big enough to get
likin', and then yo'll see-won't he, mama?"
1t is told of an Advent brother in West
field, Mass, who recently caught a man
stealing meat from his market, that in
reply to his plea to be let off and his dec
laration that God helping him, he would
never steal again, the brother said: " God
helping you! Why, you scoundrel, if
hadn't caught you stealing, you never
would have known there was a Cod
Some years ago an English commercial
man taking holiday in Ireland obtained
from the late Lord Letrim, who preserved
game verify strictly, an order to shoot, in
the following words: 1.-The bearer is per-
mtted to shoot rabbits. By
holding his thumb over the word "rabbitS,"
he had capital sport at any game which,
with the help of dog, came in his way.
A dispute about precedence once arose
between bishop and judge, and after
some alteration the latter thought he
should confound his opponent by quoting
the following passage: " For on these hang
all the law and the prophets" "Do you
not see,' said the lawyer, in triumph,
"that even in this passage of Scripture we
are mentioned frst9' 81 grant you,"
said the bishop. "you hang first