The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1878-03-15
THE WRONG UMBRELLA.
AN EVERYDAY STORY.

most respects excellent members OF So
ciety will borrow books without stint,
and, if they do not return them minus
the covers, will keep them without COM
FUNCTION, and when you hint that they
had them rather long, will utter Con
found the fellow, does he think that /
want to steal his books ?n | have had
with my best friends on this,
score, and have ever been asked whether
I had not better fine everybody who re-
tanned my valuable volumes beyond
fixed time, as if ! were a village library.
Such insults have been borne with meek
ness, because / have always remembered
with remorse how | once reYeled In the
thought of having made away with
Johnson's umbrella. The laxity OF the
public morals in the matter'of umbrellas
is truly awful, but retributiOn will some
times overtake him who plots against HI
parachute. Let me tell hOH
it overlook me
4 long time ago | was madly enam-
Ored of Mary Jane Bowles. Mary Jane
was what you would call pocket Venus,
and often have | been tempted to tuck
her under my arm like packet of sugar,
and fly to the nearest desert island. she
was an artless girl, and very fond OF
the society OF young
men with whom / was not on terms Of
ardent friendship. l did not blame her
for this, and when she invited me TO tea,
and l found Johnson had also been in
vited. my discerning eye observed that
this was not coquetry, but pure exhu-
berance of spirits. Mr.. Bowles, noticed,
was of the same opinion, and it was
.e.Fr, mo n hdv va nv
Judgment confirmed by 50 experienced
parent. Mrs. Bowles, hsd she been alive,
would no doubt have agreed with US.
/ had known Mary Jane since she
wore short frocks. johnson had known
her about a month. 1t was pleasant to
hear her call me sam and him Mr. John
son, but somehow the familiarity in my
case seemed to have bred not contempt
o dear, no : nothing OF that kind-but a
sort of nonchalance of manner. (How
useful the French language Is when one
wants to express 5 very delicate shade OF
meaning But that was her artless-
ness.
Dear me, sam" she observed, at the
tea-table, "what have you got such
long face for ~
Johnson's attentions had made me
little pensive.
" Something must he long to make up
for the prevailing shortness, 1 said.
johnson was not much taller than
Mary Jane. made note of that sar-
casln afterward. My impromptus are
too often lost.
"Dsu't be impertinent, sir. Look into
that spoon. Your face is exactly like
the reflection you see there--isn' 1t, Mr..
JohusOn?'
lie grinned.
1t was then observed, for the first
time, the singular breadth of his visage.
His grin seemed to extend across the
room.
eff Mr.. johnson viii hold the spoon
horizontally, he msy admire his own
image" l remarked, playfully.
johnson grinned again. He was one
of those insanely good-natured men
whom it is quite impossible 70 annoy
" sam, you are outrageous" said Mary
Jane. Mr. johnson and ] are going 10
practice our duet. You stop here and
talk to pa"
Mr.. Bowles had to be aroused from
the doze into which he usually dropped
after tea. 1t was in that habit that my
penetration had detected his conviction
that Mary Jane was an artless creature.
Pa woke up, and ssked me what were
my views on tramwsys. His compOsitiO
was q fine, crusty conservatism, and he
disiiked Innovations. His port wine was
fine and crusty, too, but that is by the
way.
| was listening to the duet overhead,
and had a very indistinct idea Of what I
was saying myself. | cannot sing, but
it was not for that reason that I objected
to the preposterously operate way iu
which Johnson was conducting hiEse
90 Tramways, my dear sir. are, as YOU
20 Justly observe, the chief sc0urge of
mankind. From the earliest times they
have been noted for their hostility to
human virtue, and"
have lands and proud dwellings,
And all shall be thine,
sang johnson, upstairs.
And 1t Is, as you say, monstrous
that landed proprietOrs and bloated
householders should override the popu-
lar protest in this matter, especially as
we know that-that for purposes Of
drainage, tramways are--"
" Nv dear boy, you are not well" in
terrupted Mr.. Bowles, kindly. Have
a glass of wine"
When / left the house that evening I
was thoughtful. It struck me that
johnson had Mary Jane in his minds
eve. could not damage that organ OF
vision, so / decided that nothing would
be gained by hitting him. But some
thing would have to be done. wanted
to marry Mary Jane. She was a charm
ing girl, and her father had a little
Ny suspicious about Johnson were
confirmed next day. I met lively
friend, who said
{" oh, you know johnson ?''
" Wen?"
He's going in for the little BowIes.
He told me he should propose to her to-
morrow night, when he takes her home
from Twig's party"
"derditionl"
"Eh? Slap up girl, isn't she Thought
you were sweet that wayp'
" Perd- Oh, no, not at all? There's
my omnibus. By-by!"
Going TO propose when he took her
home from Twig'sl By all the powers,
he should not take her home from Twig'sl
1t had been agreed thatI should escort
Mary Jane to the halls OF Twig. 1t was
a fine night apparently, but took my
1t was a new one, surmounted
by an alligator's head in German silver. |
/ invoked Jupiter Pluvius to
befriend me, and hoped that johnson
would leave his umbrella at home.
1t was less than ten minutes walk, but !
here was time enough to show q little |
tenderness, i not to put the |
grand question itself With an artiess |
5irl like Mary Jane it was best to APP
5roach such 3 subject by degrees.
"'Twas just such night as this" l
aid, softly, "when you and l, Mary
lane, trod the grassy turf beside that
brook"
ooh, remember !" she exclaimed,
aughing in her guileless way. g know
What you are going to say. That was
he time you fell over the stile, running
way from the bull. And your nose was
lone up in sticking plaster, you know; and
GU scratched my face with 1t, sir J"
had forgotten that circumstance
what did it matter?
Yes, Mary Jane" said, passionately.
And why did my nose scratch your
ace2 Because my lips were seeking that
aradise which now
Good evening, Miss Bowles."
1t was johnson. I saw his grin in the
Moonlight, confusien-he had
rought his umbrella.
There was little dancing at Twig's,
ut had no pleasure in it. My mind
as full of Johnson's umbrella. 1t came
a4osc -, =, Jsaaasad 1-;s;o.. ~ H4oobafh'q