St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1878-05-03
An Evening with the Photograph.

days, and Mr.. Barstinglow was incon-
solable. At one time he protested that
she should not go, he could not endure
the lonesome house during her absence.
And then again he declared that if she
must go, he would neglect his Office,
and let his business go to the bow vows,
and he would go with her. At length,
however, she persuaded him to be rea-
sonable, and on her repeated assurance
that she would not remain way longer
than three days, he consented to let her
go. He even bought her ticket and
ordered the carriage and paid for it two
days ahead, lest his resolution should
give way and he should forbid her going
from him. And from that time till the
morning of her departure Mr.. Bar
stinglow spoke in subdued tones, and
moved about with the air of a man
whose heart was buried under noun
tains of grief.
Before she left the house, Mrs. Bar
stinglow set the photograph in the sit
ting room, behind the clock. Then she
kissed her discOnsOlate husband, and
begged him to preserve his life for her
sake while she was away, and then she
was gone.
Every day, during her three days
visit in the Gate City, she received a
letter from her mourning husband, beg
ging her to come back and telling her
how lonesome he was without her, and
how like grave the empty house SEEM
ed, and how the hours dragged over his
aching heart with leaden feet. And in
three days she came home, and filled
the house with sunlight and laughter
again.
The evening after her return to Bur-
lingtOn, she took down the phonograph.
81 wonder said she, "what we said
last in its bearing? 1t must have been
something while we were discussing my
visit. Or it may he it has caught some
of your poor longing meanings while l
was away"
And then she turned the crank.
NO" croaked the photograph, in
tones of hearty reinsurance. ''nO danger
of that; she's safe in Keokuk for three
days; saw her safely off, myself, this
morning. Light your cigar while | light
another lamp and make the room look
cheerful
"Why," exclaimed Mrs. Barstinglow,
in cOuntenance of amazement, 'what
on earth is it saying?"
'Oh, some nonsense some of your
visitors have talked into it some time
or other" replied her husband, nervous
ly, "pe0ple talk all kinds of stuff into Il
phOnOgraph, you know. They say any
thing for talk"
Mrs. Barstinglow, looking only half
convinced gave the crank another turn.
''This is good whiskey, Barstey,"
calculated the machine, very earnestly.
"You don't get it in Burlington, do
yOu?"
Mrs. BarstinglOw gave little shrek.
''My DEAR" said her husband, looking
now quite as worried as he had looked
when he was begging her not to go to
Keokuk, ''put it away; somebody has
had it out in the stable, and it might
say something perfectly shocking, you
know. Put it ANY,"
But Mrs. BarstinglOw, upon whom
the spirit of investigation had descend
ed with great power, ground away, and
the photograph in voice marvellOusly
| like her husbands went remOrselessly
on.
''Not much; they don't make this
copper distilled, that Mrs. BarstinglOw's
ulollcI gave llcG lOI lnctlCludl pun pOStS
three years ago. Fill up, there's plenty
of it, and | can replace it with any
kind of beverage when it's gone. The
old girl won't know the difference"
Mrs. BarstinglOw felt herself turning
to stone, but the next turn of the crank
brought out an uproariOuS-
cha, ha, hal Here's to the o. g."
That famed her cheeks into fame
''For mercy's sake, Malachi Bursting
low" she shrieked, "what does this
mean ~
Mr.. Barstinglow now looked as
though he really did wish she had never
gone to KeOkuk.
"It's just as l tell you," he said, with
an effort to look unconcerned that was
like Il humorous book, colossal sue
cess, so far as its utter failure was con-
cerned. Somebody has been talking
all sorts of nonsense into it just for
talks sake. How else could it get hold
of such dreadful stuff in our dear little
home, lOvey ~
Mrs. Barstinglow didn't say, but she
turned away and the phonograph asked
carelessly,
"Throw round for the deal ~
She thought she would faint but she
didn't, and the pitiless machine pro-
ceeded to remark, with variety of
voices,
''lt's my age" ''You'n have to sirad-
die that blind if you come in" ''Give
me two cards." ''Chip one" "I'll see
your little one and raise you a coupler
''Push the bottle this way, Ben" "Ain't
you going to stay in, Harry ?" "Can't
stay in on pair of sixes.n "Call you"
'"Two small pair, kings to head" "Tens
and deuces. Take the pot" "Barsty,
get us something to eat. Old girl left
the cupboard keys, didn't she ?" eyes;
told her was going to keep back, at
home, to save expenses and keep out
of bad company" "Ha, ha, ha no
no no !w
"Oh !" yelled Mr.. Barstinglow, unable
to contain himself any longer, while his
wife more dead than alive leaned over
the photograph and ground away at
the crank in a dazed kind of way, "Oh,
keep it up! That's right Keep her
agoing Grind it all out Confound the
diabolical piece of black art and vile
assassin that invented it. Keep it up
That's right Believe a senseless dia-
bOlical piece of mOnstrous mechanism
rather than your husband. Keep her
agOing. Keep it upw
And Mrs. Barstinglow did keep it up.
She kept it up and listened to that pho
nOgraph's swear and shout and howl
she heard it shrek "Oh, my eye, my
eyew She heard it tell some one to let
some one else 'have it again in the same
place." she heard it warn somebody to
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