Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1878-12-18

!, 90 Love propelled one u rough lis heart.
The stern god dshed while Venus smilsd)
And WINGED, and wished the dart away;
But Cupid aid--the r. gulsh child
Keep it-'tis naught, heard you ny"
! w1rTIcIslrs.
| A TICKET of leave--A theatre check.
/ THE new crime is called cryptsmania
! In favor Of internal improvements
Invalidg.'
The new paper in the Black Hills Il
called the Up GsIch Saorter.
SoSG of the dry goods clerk t.sSMinS
ing in delain. "-SdL MgM. n
How to manage . wife--R -Remain sim
! A PARTING glass-The maiden's final
look in the mirror at her new hat.
A HOTEL bill may well be called inn
debtednesA Pitts6urg Telegraph.
MoTro for candy pull-What are
yer givin' us-tafy - Boseos Traveller.
A SNOW pillow il no plow when there
Is no snow.--N 0. PiodyHk.
The British army has come TO pretty
pass-the Khyber pass. - Phi. Bsiletis.
Our west they call the pine boxes
used to bury tramps n-bum shells.
FoR house wear most ladies' stick 10
white thread hose Fashion Er. So
does the mud.
A FINELY turned limb-A wooden
lee.--Rome Sentinel. A we'll rounded
arm-A revolver.-Nsv York Mail.
WoMAN's Work is Never Done" IL
beautiful poem. N. B.-.For " work"
read "gossip."-M Y. Eapress.
"SAND" color is the latest color In
Paris for travelling dresses. II is said 10
look as swee. ~ sugar.-N Y Consmer-
cial Advertiser.
A BARBER, who was fresh from his
lager, asked his customer if he would
have close shave. Yes close-but at
q distance," /" was the reply. n
JUDaINa from the time given to cor
respondence on Sunday, Monday must
be to many a read-letter day.-Boston
Transcript.
ALL the signers of the declaration of
Independence signed their names with
quill pens except one-he signed his
Witherspoon-Bi ston Journal Of Com.
meyce.
THAT the earth is not Of uniform thick
ness il proven by the fact that one doesn't
have to dig a. deepin some places to strike
china as in others Yonkeys Gdsett<.
In the making.up of small boy there
is altogether too much whistle for the
amount OF boy. 1t is most too much
like using two-quart funnel in three
ounce phial.
JUST as soon IS young fellow over in
Europe settles down and thinks he Is .
firstclass king, some knave comes along
and tries to play the deuce with him.
New Haven Register.
AN Iowa clergyman boasts that be can
marry twenty couples in an hour. Twen-
ty knots an hour is pretty good speed for
q clergyman to make Ctacinn0H Sdtas-
day Night.
SAN Francisco Nescs Letter: The ma
tives of Lord Howe's Island in the South
Pacific petitioned for four schoolmasters
and some iron pots. The gentle aborigines
evidently contemplate giving party. s
"WE'vR lots OF brains in our family,
remarked prominent journal !.
st and lecturer. Have you got clue
10 'em?" aleepily inquired the reporter,
who had but Just finished writing up his
Stewart report York Star.
AT 'possum supper recently held ct
Paducah, KY, twelve oppossums and
- bushels of sweet potatoes were
served up. Kentucky's fayorite-the
posaum," and "The sweet potato--a
native Of Carolina," were the toasts.
AGEoRGIA man changed his residence
sight times in II months, and the last
time his wife said she didn't even care
10 20 to heaven, for about the time she
got fixed up and learned where tho water
vas and everything, her husband would
want to move.
A SEYMOUR, Ind, man picked up
tick of cordwoOd, the other night, and
chased q cat acrOss the back yard. He
iidn't catch the cat, but he caught the
with his teeth, and now
~hen he smiles The corners Of his mouth
pass each other ct the back OF his neck.
"GEr right out Of this" shouted IN
rritated merchant TO mendacious
clerk, :" this II tho third lie Ihave caught
vou in since 10 o'clock this morning.
. ON, we'll" said the new man, don't
be too hard on me. Give fellow time
10 learn the rules OF the houso. "-Hcsk
We.
Nh. EDISON il not able to pssEent the
noise ON the elevated railway. He skas
rot . contrivance to stop the noi1n, ard
be has discovered where the noiae comes
from, and lie knows where it soes 70. but
doesn't appear to b able 70 6nd any