West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-02-16
EVERYDAY SPICERIES.

w lllIHlIl I iONCS: n man without
an enemy is like bread without yeast.
New YORK Commercial advertiser
Men of nose maui vices--Prize fighters.
ON CRY Derrick: A man never uses
his thumb-nail for scTow-driver but
once.
The song OF the Cincinnatian, accord
ing TO the Graphic: Hold the pork,
fry ham coming
PHmADELrmIA Bulletin: A little boy
will never willingly relinquish any Of
his cakes, except his spank aches.
TURNER'S FALLS Reporter; The spec
tacle of rcd-haircd woman chopping
hash, is u prolific cause of insanity.
ROME Sentinel: The difference be-
tween boy and a barn is that shingles
are applied TO the roof on the barn.
DANBURY News: The man who swore
off is beginning to observe, with great
feeling, "Wc've got but one life TO live,
anyway"
HACKENsACK RcpUJijcdn: IL was
darkcy who exclaimed az he rose from
his knees at camp meeting, Here !
raise my ebon-knccs, sir"
How busly the town COW goes
Tor the fodder Of her country foes
She climbs into the wugOn-boN
Regardless Of the wcl-nimcd rocks,
And eats her I'LL Of straw, the while
She wcnrs peaceful ponsiye smile.
-FfdRkiin, (hy) Patriot.
Transcript. IL wasa Frenchman who,
being told that it was hardly worth while
to make n great fuss over hea-bite,
answered, " Cc NEST pas Ia Pique, c'eSt Ia
promenade"
PHILADELPHIA Bulletin: The fashion
L. 90,
~ we turn over their leaves marked
Fig. /, Fig. 2 etc, it sometimes seems
as if the fashion of Fig. leaves is coming
back again.
BosToN Post: A man i'm Pcekskill
n. Y, has tried to pet up an old maid
show and made q miserable failure Of il.
A thorou9h canvass has demonstrated
that the oldest unmarried lady In Peeks-
kill twenty-three.
a HoHoKUB man who has become the
father Of twins SAYS that he wirhes 10
preserve the double standard-M y
Hrrad. IL isn't likely that anybody
Will want TO take them at their par
value Worcester PreSs.
NEW YoRK Commercial: An indig-
nant correspondent wants 20 know
whether the twenty-five revolvers which
appear in the Senate list of inc dental
expenses were loaded or not. We don't
know. But they appear 10 have been
charged.
'TIs said Xantippo was a scold--
No greater scOld than Bh0--
And that because Of this she earned
Her lords antipnthy;
And set there must have been Why
For all ber hippRncica,
Aud may 10 not have been because
She found old Soc. tea1e7
TNrNHH ILL
New ORLEANS .Picaylne: The
highest sense Of humor developed by
Yale students is the stealing Of
poor Trademarks sign and putting it up
in the wrong place. The young men
laugh heartily when they have misplaced
a sign, and the action fills their intel
lectual wants.
CATsKLL Recorder: Kingston, New
York has a professional juror who, when
the Jury rctires for consultation, says to
his fellow members: "GentlemeD, /
have agreed 80 and 70, and when you
come 10 The same conclusion wake me
up" lie then lies down, and when the
jury agree with him he is ready 10 re-
port but not before.
The great rage just now, is 10 tell
enormous lies about the remarkable
i''ttHH VI ''b'N"b VII ~ NH Hhuou"i'y
mid weather, and the man who tells the
biggest lie carries OF the chrome. Out
on South Hill-bst we won't try, IFS no
use; wc never could lie Huntington
H1ctcye. That will do; YOU have won
the chromO-- Boston COmmerciaL bulletin.
LONDON Fun. First Swell--"I say
Plcvna has fallen" Second ditto
Ya-as, so / sce." J.. S-"Gwest blow
30 thc-ah the-ah" s. ditto-"To
the ain, yes Wussians." +. S.
Ta.as lie wa their pwincipal gen.
cwal, believe" S." Ya-as, something
of the sort; but, weally, ] don't twoube
to- wcad about the way. It's TOO much"
j.. S." Quite awfully too much,
wcalIy; only everybody saying Plevna's
fallen, you know, and it's fashionable"