The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1878-10-24
STANDARD PARAGRAPHS.

Manton Marble is, indeed, man OF
adamantine cheek.
Wade Hampton seems determined TO
have Grant for President in 1880
A Peoria, ILL.,, distillery was blown up,
last Thursday. Pike county, Ohio,
distiller was blown up couple of weeks
ago.
Our foreign news is depressing. The
many friends of Mr.. Yakoob Kahn, in
this country will be pleased to learn that
Yakoob is in prison.
Now the Courts are holding their Fall
session. and the man who wants to sit on
Jury sits in the court room, and picks
his teeth, and tries to look unconcerned
This howl about money changing the
vote of county from what it would 9TH
erwise be. is all nonsense. Ask old man
Emmitt if it isn't.
Ole Bull is going to play the fiddle be-
fore the President of the United States,
in October. 1t is our unpleasant duty to
announce that Sitting Bull will not be
present.
Before the recent election our Demo
cratic friends shouted mot money
enough in the country" Now they wall,
sadly, "too much money" Their real
motto is mot enough office"
If Mr.. Tilden had even the crudest
conception of the fitness of things, now
that poor Cronin is dead he would go
West and erect a costly tablet to his
memory.
Fine frosts now; the leaves are falling,
and the head of the family is spying
around, trying to find out whether those
three sets of furs he bought last winter
can be made available for the coming
winter.
The display made by the Cincinnati
Schools at the Paris Exposition, took
the first and second prizes. AS soon as
the other competitors heard this display
was from Ohio, they knew the jig was up
Ohio is a great State.
A Circuit Judge in Maryland, refused
to allow female lawyer to appear in his
Court. Man" said he,. in giving his de
cision, twas created first, and woman al
terward, and part of him. 1t that
Judge is married. we'll guarantee that he
don't talk that way at home.
When the Republicans attempt to hold
meetings in South Carolina, armed rebels
attend, and knock the speakers off the
platform. This state of affairs cannot
last, however, for we are assured that
"the Administration is greatly disturbed
Gen Comfy should be Immediately re-
called from the Sandwich Islands. He has
taken advantage of his position as the
representative of powerful Nation, and
inflicted an original poem on the limo
cent people of Honolulu.
They have a political writer in the
office of the Ohio Statesman, who is some
thing of wag. He undoubtedly had
Tom Ewing in his mind, when he wrote
the following Don't judge man by
his speech, for the parrot talks, and the
tongue is but an instrument of sound.
The weather prophets are now busy.
One predicts that we will have an exceed
ingly severe winter because musk-rat
has dug hole in a creek bank. Another,
argues that it will be mild, and gives his
reasons therefor. There's nothing like
the weather prophet
"A rolling stone gathers no moss, but
it will gather about forty small boys, who
will hammer it, with clubs, and swear
and quarrel, until they are exhausted
Skinny" is not so stylish game as GRO
quet, but it is good deal more vigorous
exercise.
In every Democratic exchange we see
the wall "we're bought, we're bought y
Then, poor fellows, what do you want
with more money" If there was any
more money in the country, we would,
according to your own argument, buy
you all.
A Western paper objects to National
Convention of newspaper paragraphists,
on the ground that, although great think
ers. they are not brilliant takers, and
tha Convention would be dull affair.
That would be easily overcome. All
you'd have to do would be, just to step
round the corner and invite in couple
of drummers, and travelling corn doc
tor.
Uncle Sammy is still engaged in his
pursuit of the Presidency. He is looking
now toward 1880. Should Uncle Sammy
get the nomination, however, the battle
cry of the Democracy would be simply
"Tilden" The Reform" would be left
out this time.
He was one of the jolliest boys among
them. He had just swallowed a little
that was left in the barrel for Jackson
County, and as he came up street, he
shouted:
"Whoopl Hooray fur the Damocrat
party y
Jim, can't ye say Democrat ?" asked
his companion, nudging him with his
elbow.
81 kin say what please. I've know {
the party longer'n you hev, an l know
its histry better. I'm the best Damocra
in the bisn -ss. Hooray fur the Damo
crat party !"