River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-10-10
Humors OF the Day.

A lemon is an insignificant thing, but
we like its ade In keeping cool.
IF you haven't got much me ney and
want 10 go somewhere,go to work.
Medical examination: aWhat is there
besides ether and chlorotorm to produce
unconsciousness9" Visiting boy: "a
club"
Fashionable mother: ssMaria, I'm al.
most discouraged. How many times
have told you not to say later, but per-
tater9"
Painful Question by the Sultan: as
this Turkey, or it it merely portions OF
England, Russia, Austria, and other
countriesg"
A man in Detroit has recently invented
an apparatus for arresting and extinguish.
ing sparks. Are the girls going to stand
that2
A discomftted soldier, who found that
he had shot an Indian already defunct
was overheard to muImur, II didn't
know it was Lo dead"
The only difference between an e,e-
plant with broken ivory and town in
Alabama is, one has loose tusk, sir, and
the other Tuscaloosa.
The fat girl of Iowa, who weighed 600
pounds. is dead. 1t used to be her re-
grettul boast that she never sat on mans
knee in ali her born days.
What business is your father in2'
"Sure! and / do nc. He's ar
agitator, or "a dictator, OF
a specuator-a tatur OF same kind, amy
way
They were having family set-to, and
she asked him if there was anything in
the past that he would like to recall, and
he heartlessly answered, Eyes, the day
you first refused me-"
"Ah," said the fly, as it crawled around
the bottle, Il have passed through the
Matching age, the creeping age, the fly
ing age, and now I'm in the mucilage,
and" there it stuck.
stWhat time is it9" asked customer OF
restaurant clerk, as he settled for his
breakfast. otis quarter after ate" re.
piled the clerk, as he raked in the cash
and the twenty-five cent check.
A lecturer. addressing mechanics in.
stitute, contented that cart could not i'm
prove Nature" when one OF the audience
set the whole assembly in roar by ex-
claiming, show would you look without
your wig9"
1t is we'll to loook at both sides Of a
fan. On cheated" Sunday in Phila-
delphia recently the minister was fan
ming himself vigorously. He did not
see, but the congregation did. that the
reverse of his fan bore the inscription,
buy Boggle's Bitters."
Did the prophet Isaiah ever eat at a
railroad station? 1t certainly looks so,
for how could he have described it so
literally if he had not: "And he shall
snatch on the right hand, and be hungry;
and he shall eat ON the left hand, and
shall not be satisfied"
Sweets to the sweet" said young
man on passing the syrup to young
lady seated at one of our hotel tables.
"And beets to the BEATS remarked the
lady, showing dish Of that vegetable
toward the young man. FIR some reason
the observation cast settled gloom over
a countenarce that just before was radiant
with smiles.
"Now, then, madame, please look
steadily at this place on the wall" said
a photographer to al old lady, when he
he had put her in position aud the plate
in the camera, The old lady looked
hard at the spot indicated, then got up
and walked across the floor and infinitely
inspected it, and then, turning to the
photographer, gently remarked, 4 don't
see anything there.'
The following note was actually re-
ceived, few days ago, by lady from a
neighbor. The Jacob" incidentally re-
ferred to was the husband of the writer
"Ms. B., will you please to lend me a
black bonnet and black hat and 2 black
walls and shawl or sack and a pair of
gloves and oblige me. Hannah V. P.
S.-Jacob is dead. "-M0hauk Register.