Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1878-10-11

aim was not so accurate as it might
have been, and the plate went through
the window, smashing in the tile Of Fitz
James Jones, who was passing, and the
mrffins were scattered in wild confusion
about the room.
Phil was indignant. He laid his hand
on the poker
"lf | did not scorn to strike wo-
man" he began.
"Oh, strike!" excla med Fanny. ct
will only be in place with yonr OF, er
conduct. Don't let any notions Of hon
or restrain you, because you never had
any,
Fanny, beware, you try me too far y
iii go home to pa, that will. You
inhuman monster, you'll be divorced
from you this very day. So there!" and
the platter of ham made a journey after
the mullins.
Just at that moment, Pills Unc =
John, a shrewd old fellow, appeared on
the scene. He surveyed the group viii
an anxious twinkle of the eye.
What's the matter Fanny? Any
thing gone wrong?' he inquired.
Gone wrong! NJ er enough! Oh,
Uncle John, he's wretch, and set out
10 strike me with poker"
And she threw plate Of mullins
and the ham at me.
He's monster, Uncle John. LII
be divo ced from him this very day.
He is worse than savage"
So he is, cried Uncle John, enter
ing warmly into the spirit of the thing.
So he is, stripping off his coat
and III settle the matter at once.
You stand back, Fanny; III give him
such thrashing as he'll be likely to re-
member. Striking his wife with pok
er, indeed III rec,ify matters, and
Uncle John grasped the long handled
feather duster and fourished it threat
eninglv around the head of his nephew.
" The e, sir, take that! and that. and
that" exclaimed he bringing down the
feathers on the shoulders of the amazed
Phil. Fanny, my dear, III not leave a
bone of him whole"
Fannys round blue eyes had been
growi ,g larger and larger-and now her
indignation burst:
John Hayes" she cried, you're a
heather, and ap old meddling vagabond!
Let Phil one! He's my dear, dear
husband, and you've no right to touch
him. He's an angel He never intend
ed to strike me- Be still striking him
or you'll be socryt' and Fanny seized
the broom from behind the door, and
prepared to do battle
Stand back cried Uncle John, he S
a monster, and deserves death The
man who would threaten to strike a wo-
man ought to be hung
Fannv's eyes blazed She few at I'm
Gle John with the spite of tigress, and
the way the trio went round the room
was worth witnessing. Uncle John
after Phil with the duster and Fanny
after Uncle John with the broom.
Phil made spring for the window,
but there was a whatnot in the way,
and getting his leg ent 1gled in that, he
brought the whole concern to the floor
Ambrotypes, books, vases, rare china,
and a hundred cherished curiosities, all
were involved in direct ruin.
Phil went down with the other things,
Uncle John stumbled over him, and
Fanny only saved herself by seizing the
bell rope, which brought her two serv-
ants to the spot.
OF course they took Phil and Uncle
John for housebreakers, and if Fanny S
explanation had not been enforced by
sundiy touches of her broomstick. the
consequences might have been serious.
he first moment Of C. I'm was seiz I'd
upon by the young couple to embrace
each other
My angel Fanny
My precious Phil!
And then followed an explanation
like the bursting Of beer bottles.
Uncle John left the house during
this interesting performance, still firm
ly of the opinion that the surest way of
rcconciling wife to her husband is to
get third person to help abuse him.