The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-04-28

two families. Frank had bsen my ideal
as q child. III Hound him still so-K I
were free to love himl-if, when he
about which had dreamed-brought 1t
in vain! There was something morbid
in this state OF mind, but the idea had
fastened upon me, and 1 could not
shake it off. My very self-mistrust was
a snare.
Ny aunt and cousin duly arrived and
Of Frank / must speak the truth, even
il I am accused of wish to justify my
self. Every charm young man could
have think he possessed. / say moth
ing Of his personal beauty or his ipgen-
uous graees Of manner. [ could have
wiChstood these, though [ had a very
keen appreciation of them. But he was
as full Of disinterested ardor in his pro-
fession as Mr.. Lacy in his had the same
deep desire to be OF use in his genera.
ton only he unfolded them with such
q winning self mistrust, as il he doubted
his worthiness for the high vocation of
benevolence until he warmed into en-
thusiasm, and then the passion Of his
speech, the very extravaganza Of his
youthful hopes. thrilled me with a power
far beyond the reasoned wisdom Of Mr..
Lacy's enterprises. Oh! / longed to
and lend my aid to the working out Of
his Utopia, with a spontaneous feWor
Of desire never known before.
Lesser things lent their aid. He was
a fine musician and an enthusiast in
the art. We practiced constantly to-
gether. He taught me how to play and
sing the German compositions he had
introduced to me. l do not wish to
dwell on details; but who does not know
how subtle a medium Of love kindred
pursuit and enjoyment of music is p
and Mr.. Lacy had never cared for music.
Then again he was my perpetual com
paniou. At breakfast his clear eyes and
welcoming voice opened the day, and
after its long hours Of delightful inter
course his hand was the last I clasped
at night. No attempt was made to put
an end to this dangerous companion
ship. My father looked upon us as
brother and sister. Besides, the fact of
my engagement was known, and he
had the most implicit confidence in his
nephew's honor. He never considered
my danger. yet it was the greater. He
might be strong, bat L was weak. In
short, loved Frank.
A letter announcing the probable day
of Mr.. Lacy's return reused me to the
conviction of the truth. l carried it up
to may room, locked the door, and fell
on my knees. What should I do?
Should keep my secret and sin against
my own soul by marrying one / did not
love? Surely that were the worst crime
of the two. What was left me, then,
but to wound q noble heart. belle my
promise, inculpate my father. 1t
seemed a dreadful alternative. After
many hours Of agonized casuistry I
could not decide, but determined to
hn tn hor II,
love me? Strange that I took that fact
for granted, torturing myself with the
idea Of what he would suffer-he, with
with his young, strong capacity for sor-
row This Is not to be long story, so [ |
must not stay to analyze the state of nay
mind during the interval that elapsed |
before Mr.. Lacy's return. A criminal
awaiting a sure condemnation. and that
by his own aching conscience
would understand my feeling.
The evening came on which we ex-
pected him. Never before had our
drawing-room worn more happy,
home-like character. My father read
the newspaper at ease in his ample
petually interrupted him with irrele-
want remarks. l sat near the tea table,
for certain hour had been fixed, and
we waited for our guest before we began
our favorite meal. I held book to
hide the changes of my countenance.
Had doubted my cousins love before.
I should have doubted it no longer
how earnestly and searchingly he look
ed at mellow grave and sad he ap-
peared.
The knock came. 1t was natural I
should start; but it was hard to smile
at my aunt's pleasant raille
ry. Mr.. Lacy came in; he was one of
those whose self-governed, serene man
ner, precludes tlutter of embarrassment
in others. The gentle friendliness of
ment; under it [ could hardly imagine
the strong, passionate current to exist
that sometimes broke its bounds.
The evening. passed smoothly and
to all eXternals. Mr.. Lacy
was very grave, but then 1t Was to be
Of a son who had just left his
fathers deathbed; and my aunt's ami
mated tongue filled up the intervals
when conversation would have tagged
Frank and [ sang together at my
lather's request, for I feared to seem
unwilling; besides. it precluded the
necessity Of my exerting myself to talk.
Frank was very serious, and, thought,
sverse to sing with me, but at the same
lime had never sung to more advan-
age.
The ordeal was over at last. Mr.. La
~ took his leave without anything in
lis manner to make me fear, or per-
laps hope, that my secret was discov-
,red. A week passed; he was constant
with us, showing me the same ten
ierness as somewhat graver, but
Is certainly more gentle. He seemed,
90, to make point of seeking Frank s
ociety, and spoke OF him in high terms
o my father. Obi what a heavy heart
carried during that period. Looking
n my glass, [ thought with wonder of
he change six months can work in t
mind and body. At the end of those {
even days I came to resolution that 6
lerved me with something like t
trength. I thought I would seek 6
irect interview with Mr.. Lacy, tell !
i'm the whole truth, and throw myself |
n his generosity. Let him but release J
no from on Gppavamapt that hoooma