The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-07-18
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

SENSE AND NONSENSE.
A scoLD1Na wife will make q shrew'd
man.
A NEW broom sweeps clean only
when properly handled.
IF q bad man desires q change of
scene let him be seen in good company.
LIGHTNIN0-ROD agents never strike
more than q dozen times in the same
place.
TINS town needs more gunsmith-
shops or fewer book-agents.-W heeling
Sunday Leader.
The whipping department of q school
N O. Picays'se.
THE New Haven Register says beer
drinking makes man brave, hence the
expression, "Dutch courage"
Two LITTLE boy. were nothing 10th
TOeat two verdant peaches each;
And now one tombstone covers both.
Thou hast this season for thine own. o Peach!
In the opinion of the Fulton IN. w
Times, q patch on the seat of boys
trousers is something new under the
son."
A CONNECTICUT woman was appoint
ed Constable the other day, and the
first thing she said was, "Now, 1 shall
catch q man."
joke recently, is the observation that
the grass is so short in Colorado it has
to be lathered before it can be moved.
II HOPE this is not counterfeit?''
said q lover, as he toyed with his
sweetheart's hand. "The best way to
find out is to ring itr' was the quick
reply.
An extra strong-minded woman re-
marked that an old bachelor is man
who, through selfish motives, has re-
Trained from making some woman
wretched.
In Alabama they chew the tassels Of
the fir-trees as q substitute for tobacco,
which reminds us of the old adage,
I" Be fir-chewers and you'll be happy"
Chicago Times.
The fate of a recent religious news
paper enterprise in st. Louis induces
its protector to remark, with some
acerbity: "Now let the Devil foreclose
his mortgage on this town as soon as
he wants to-"
It's now about time to start spitz
dog stories, SO here goes: Yesterday q
Spite dog bit crippled saw-horse, and
in less than half an hour that horse
was writhing in all the agonies of ny.
drophobia. Exchange.
We are very much surprised to heal
that Kaiser Wilhelm is in fair way to
survive-not the assassin's bullet, but
the fiftieth anniversary of his marriage.
For a man who has been married fifty
years, paltry bullet or two has nc
terrors.-St. Louis Journal
WE have never been able to under
stand how it was that q wo nan, who j.
apparently deaf when her husband ask.
her where that half-dollar is he left il
his pantaloons pocket before going tt
bed, can hear the wall of her two
weeks-old baby down two flights o.
stairs and through three deal DOORS
Rochester IN. ~ Times.
HAVE you ever noticed the fact thai
there are good many imperfect mer
in the world? Some are underdone
some are overdone, and some, liks
Ephraim in the Scriptures, are ''a CAKE
not turned" They are done brown or
one side and all dough on the other
Perfect men, like angels, are seen only
at rare intervals. Y. Herald.
GEORGE (who has just engaged him
self to the girl of his hearty breaks thu
happy news to his friend Jack (who ha,
been married some time). Jack: "Ah
well, my dear fellow, marriage is the
best thing, in the long run; and l Car
assure you that, after a year or two, I
man gets used to it. and feels Just a.
jolly as if he had never married at all!'
The Baltimore & Ohio Railroad
Company was lately charged, in thu
Circuit Court of Mineral County, W.
Va, with being guilty of Sabbath.
breaking by running its trains on 8
Sunday. and on the trial of the case {
verdict of guilty was rendered and .
fine of $3.50 was imposed for the of
tense. Several other cases, involving
the same charge, are pending in tn
same court.
HARVEY Halter, of Cos Cob, Conn.,,
recently secured an oriole, which, il
building nest, had got caught in .
horse hair suspended from q limb. HI,
Gagged the bird, and few days aftel
sent it in a smaller cage to friend il
New Canaan. What was his surprise
twenty hours after to see the bird fly
through the window and into the cage,
where it has contentedly remained eve
since. The place from which 1t ha.
travelled on its return was about fifteer
miles.
The wife of a Hartford clergyman
thought her pretty servant girl was be
coming too intimate with the owner Of
the tenement where they lived, a wild
over, who occupied rooms in the same
building, and, finally, in fit of indig
nation, said: Pack up your thing
and leave my house." The girl LEFT
but returned in the afternoon, and en-.
tering said to her late mistress, 81 am
and leave my house." The servant
girl had married the landlord, and the
order was enforced.
A CLERGYMAN, having been inducted
into living in Kent, took occasion,
during his first sermon, to introduce
the word optics" At the conclusion
of the service farmer who was pres.
emit thanked him for his discourse, but
intimated that he had made q mistake
in one word, softening down the severi.
ty of the criticism by saying, 1--WE all
know, very well, sir, what you meant"
On the clergyman making further in
quiries about the word, the farmer re-
piled: "What you call hop-sticks, in
this part of the country we call hop.
poles"
/ A Ror,,01n Rnon. Rail Nlmh