The Centre reporter. [volume] (Centre Hall, Pa.) 1871-1940, 1878-01-17
"You shan't put the hidcous thing on
,-nur haaJ " aaid Charlie

as | did for that poor fellow, with MS
hair all tossed absut, his cyelids heavy
with sleep, his feet ON one chair, and
his head against the side Of the mantcl.
piece but, in spite of all, l resolved
that Uncle Buucle should stay as long
as he chose-yeS, stay, though we slept
in the coal cellar, or did not sleep at all !;
for think of my JOY when, some tame III
our lfc-ssme time when Il was, per
haps, most wautcd-I should fly into
Charles arms, and say 90 him My
doar. you are worth six Thousand
pounds and have won IL for you by
never allowing myself 20 be put ont 10y
Uncle Bunclel :"
The next morning wore my gigantic
comb. The Misses Jones giggled, and
Miss Brown laughed outright No
matter Uncle Buncle's goodwill was
worth more than anything else. bore
their smiles hike martyr, and only fret
tCd because, after all, my uncle did not
look perfectly satisfied. On the contrary,
although he had habit Of scowhng,
had never seen him scoVl 50 much as he
did that morning. He sneered at the
milk. and scofed at the butter, pooh
poohei the rolls and described TO rs,
with his mouth fun. breakfasts which he
had eaten elsewhere, which were what
breakfasts ought 20 be and, ever and
anon, he cast towards my unhappy self
a glance of inexplicable disapproval.
However, he stayed with us through
the week. growing more ill-tempered as
time passed ON. | shall never forget
that wrek-the weary nights during
which We tried a. take maps ON chairs, or
reposed ON the kitchen tAble-the
humiliation and self-cOntempt l suffered
when | permitted myself 20 be scolded
Charlie 20 be snubbed, and our guests
20 be sneered at by Uncle Buncle-the
persistency with which wore that awful
comb-the things | said that | did not
mean-ths manner in which l abused
myself, shaved myself, and suppressed
myself. l shut mp the house at nine 10
please Uncle Buncle. locked mp the
piano for the same reason. | did II all,
not for love OF him, or respect for him,
but because of his six thousand pounds.
Dear Charlie, who worked SO hard,
and was 50 kind 10 me, and 30 tender Of
me, might some day have reason 10
rejoice that he had married poor little
me.
At last, one evening, Uncle Buncle
said, as he took his bedroom candle:
"Shall go 10 town tomorrow, Air here
don't agree with me = and vanished
without 50 much AS n nod.
Charlie" l said, as ] accommodated
myself 10 circumstances on the kitchen
dresser, with my waterproof cloak around
me and rag bag under my head; "try to
bear up this one night longer. After all,
il is worth il.
MARX my words, said Charlie, from
the window sill, with his big great over
coat for a pillow; "mark my words,
Hetty, you'll never get anything but
rudeness from that old fellow.
"And mark my words, Charlie" l
said; this will happen. After we've
struggled on, perhaps 10 middle age,
and begin 10 feel as though We should
always be poor, one day-you know he's
seventy now-Uncle Buncle will leave
this world for better.
II don't know, said Charlie, doubt,
fully.
And we, went on. will be sorry.
But neyertheless--
mo humbug, Hetty," said Charlie.
"I shall be sorry" | said; "but
nevertheless Wen not grieve bitterly, of
course
"Of course not, said Charlie.
And we'll sit talking over the news,
when some one will inquire for you; and
being shown in, viii preve to be Uncle
Buncle's lawyer, who will say: "Sir,
il is my duty TO inform YOU that nv la
mented client, Mr.. Buncle, prior to his.
decease, signed a will which leaves all
his fortune 10 your wife, his niece.
There pansed.
" What is that - cried Charlie.
"0h, what is it?" / echoed.
HelpT screamed Uncle Bunele's
voice. +" Fire Murder Help helpr'
"Ohl Police T. screamed Mrs. Jones.
Somebody somebody :" cried Mrs.
Brown.
cousin Charlie - screamed Cousin
ClArlsSa from the sofa, "your poor
Uncle Buncle is being murdered
low! ow! Oo-o-w cried Miranda
Jane from the store-room.
And above it all We hearl a sound as
of many waters.
"What is it, love ?" l asked. What
can have happened ?"
THAT confounded pipe has burst
again, said Charlie, land Uncle Buncle
Is drowning in the bathroom ]"
In moment / comprehended all.
The Barley Hillites were proud of hay-
ing a good provision OF water from Bar
ley river throughout the town. But the
arrangements for the supply had not been
Of the first order, and the consequences
was that every house had been flooded
in turn, that the main street had been
inundated twice, and the reservoir burst
as often. At this unfortunate moment,
when Uncle Buncle reposed in the de-
ceitful arms Of the bath, without an idea
of his danger, the pipe above his head
had given way, and the food of water
poured itself out upon him The door
was locked inside. We heard him sput-
tsring and swearing. In our agitation,
we could do nothing but pound upon
the panels and implore him to come
out.
At last he appeared wrapped in e
drenched dressing gown, scowEng,
stamping, bowling, half mad with rage,
and shivering with cold, snatched alamp
from my hand, and dived into the room
again. We heard the bed go flop into
the water we heard the pillows follow
it. Our deception was discovered.
"By Georgel" yelled Uncle Buncle
in the voice of sea captain in q storm
by George they've put me to sleep
in the bath I"
From that time until he stepped into
the train next morning, he youchsafed
us no other word. And from that time
we never saw or heard from him again.
When he died, however, we we're unex-
pectedly summoned to the reading OF
his will, as being parties mentioned
therein. We went. The will left the
bulk of the property TO a hospital and
we were mentioned thus !:
"And | desire il to be known by all
interested, that this will, which /, being
in my right mind, have signed and at
tested, makes null and void former
one in which had made my niece, Mrs.
Hetty Hope, born Hopkins, my sole
heiress. The reasons for her disinherit-
ance being these Firstly, she did for
week time disrespectfully, ungratefully,
indecently, and by infamous deception,
cause me TO sleep in bath, TO the great
detriment of my health and nervous
system and secondly. she proved her
extravagance by wearing on ordinary
occasions, and while occupied at house
hold work, certain tortoise shell comb
which / presented TO her, and which the
late Mrs. Buncle, a pattern woman in