Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-02-10


spurned him with his foot. He only
sang on, and waited his fate. Then the
half-breed bent his head and spat down
on the crouching Sioux, and turned
leisurely away crueller revenge than
il he had shot him dead.
1t is not given to every one to play the
philosopher, and accept fortunate
Bullets and favors with equal placidity.
Horatios are scarce But there are plenty
Of people capable of behaving like Spar
tans where the trouble does not touch
their individuality.
How can get out of thiseo asked an
Enelishman, up to his armpits in Scotch
bog, Of passer-by. dinna think We
can get cot Of II" was the response of the
Highlander, as he went on his way.
Mistress Of herself was the spouse of
the old gentleman who conuived to tum-
BILE off the ferryboat into the Mississippi,
and was encouraged to struggle for dear
life by his better half shouting; There,
Samuel; didn't tell you sog Now, then
work your legs, flap your arms, hold your
breath, and repeat the Lords Prayer, for
it's mighty onsartin. Samuel, whether
you land in Vicksburg or eternity
Thoroughly oblivious of court manners
was tie red-cloaked old Kentish dame
who found her way into the tent occupied
by Queen Charlotte, at a volunteer review
held shortly after her coming to England,
and after staring at the royal lady with
her arms akimbo, observed: swell,
she's not SO ugly as they told me she
was "a compliment the astonished
Queen gratefully accepted, saying:
"Well, my good woman, l am very glad
of that" Probably Fer majesty forgave
rustic ignorance and simplicity.
The Postmaster-G eneral of the United
States once received an odd official COM
munication; the Kaeborn Postmaster,
new Of his duties, writing to his superior
officer: "Seeing by the regulations that
I am required to send you letter of ad-
vice, must plead in excuse that [ have
been Postmaster but short time; but l
will say, if your Office pays no better than
mine, advise you to give it up" To
this day that Postmaster General has not
decided whether his subordinate was an
ignoramus or was quietly poking fun at
him.
Spite of the old axiom aboutself- praise,
many are OF opinion that the world is apt
to take man at his own valuation. If
that be true, there is Church dignitary
in embryo somewhere in the young dea-
con, whose examining Bishop felt it re-
quisite to send for the clergyman recon-
mendjng him for ordination, in order to
tell him to keep that young man in check;
adding by way Of explanation: II had
the greatest difficulty, sir, to prevent him
examining mel" This not to be abashed
candidate for clerical honors promises to
be as worthy Of the cloth as the American
minister who treated his village congrega
ton to one of Mr. Beecher's sermons, un-
aware that the popular Brooklyn preacher
made one of his hearers. Accosting him
after service, Mr.. Beecher said: THAT
was fair discourse; how long did it take
you to write it,"
ooh, tossed it of in one evening" was
the reply.
'tIndeedn' said Mr.. Beecher. "Well it
took me much lohger than that to think
out the frame work of that sermon"
care von Henry Ward Beccher.w
asked the sermon .stealer.
II am said that gentleman.
swell then," said the other, not in the
least disconnected, "all I have to say is,
that amt ashamed to preach one of
your sermons anywhere
We do not know if Coleman invented
the phrase. GAS cool as a cucumber
but he makes the Irishman in 'The Heir
at Law" say: ''These two must be rich
man that won't lend and a borrower; for
one is trotting about in great distress ard
t'0ther stands cool as cucumber"
Of the two, the latter was more likely to.
have been intending raid on another
mans purse, for the men whose Every
trade is borrowing" are usually, we might
say necessarily, the coolest of the cool;
like Bubb Dodington's impecunious az
quaintance, who, rushing across Bond street
greeted Dodington with: "I'm delighted
to see you for am wonderfully in want
of guinea
Taking out his purse, Bubb showded
that it held but half guinea.
"a thousand thanks!' cried his tormen
tor, deity Selling the coin; 'that will do
very we'll for the present. and then
the conversation. But as he turn
ed to take leave, he inquired; "By-the-by
when will you pay me that half guinea?''
"Pay you2" What do you mean!" ex-
claimed Dodington.
"Mean? Why, intended to borrow a
guinea of you. I have only got half; but
I'm not in hurry for t'other. Name
your own time, only pray keep it," say
ing which he disappeared round the cor
ner.
"John Phoenix" the American humor-
list, being one nightat a theater, fancied he
saw friend some three seats in front of
him. Turning to his next neighbor he
said: "Would you be kind enough to
touch that gentleman with your stick?"
Certainly was the reply, and the thing
was done; but when the individual thus
assaulted turned round Phoenix saw he
was not the man he took him for, and be-
came at once absorbed in the play, leav-
ing his friend with the stick to settle mat
tiers with the gentleman in front, which,
as he had no excuse handy, was not done
without considerable trouble. When the
hubbub was over, the victim said: Didn't
you tell me to tap that man with my
stick?" Eyes" "And what did you
want?" "Oh," said Phoenix. with i'm
perturbable gravity. II wanted to see
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