The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1878-12-14
Some Experiences as a Tramp
by BEEMUS.

i lords and ladies of Engand--of long morning
walks over hill and dale, through wood and
Glen, across parks and along The highway, eX-
tending miles and miles before breakfast.
This exercise our British cousins call "A con
stitutonal" Hitherto we had taken our'n
with sugar in it, We resolved to change
and try the transatlantic custom. We took
an inventory of our person. Our feet were
certalnly big enough for long excursion! As
we stood we felt sure we covered more ground
than the average of men. In the deep rccesses
of our ample chest, measuring Al and nan
inches in circumference, there should be am
pie space for large quantities Of pure air. a
glance at the mirror revealed a mouth Of gi.
gantc extent, aptly described by that prince
of ways, "LoOsh" Crooker, (who is privileged
to write Hon" before his twisted name, who
once compared the yawning entrance to our
throat to the Mammoth cave, Ky. Gazing in
to this extensive chaslE, and remembering that
for years we had kept it in constant employ
mcnt for imblblng various liquids-evcry va
riety known to modern science, excepting wa
ter-wc did not doubt our ability to tackle even
such of that ancient but weak beverage as we
might find at farmers wells.
We resolved on having walk in the rural
districts. SEEING our hat and stick, we mean
dered forth. The morning was bright and
beautiful 1t was balmy-everythin bal"'ed.
1t was autumn, and all natured tumned, as 1t
were. The glorious sun SHnhed. The dew had
become overdue and turned tofrost and frosted
everything. Tie leaves had left the trees,
which stood like naked giants, with theil long,
strong arms stretched forth to battle the storm
king of the coming winter.
AS we passed the first farm house we were
treated to what we at first took for an ovationl
by the CANNES of the place; but in fact the
dogs were out as guards and escorts to see US
safely past the front gate. And such variety
of dogsl Black dogs and white, brlndle and
"yaller," gaunt dogs, lop.carcd, no-eared, long
tailed, bobtaied bowlegged dogs, and dogs
of all sizes, from the majestic New Foundland
to the contemplate poodle. AS we passed
each house suddenly dogs would pop out at
once from all sorts of mysterious places and
surround us They would yclp every note OF
the chromatic scale, and in every key. They
would howl at us from lower A sub bass, to
high in the key of four sharps. We, out of
prudence, would be compelled to stand and
take in the soul-harrowing concert until the
woman of the house woud come out and
scream "Say, you tramp, vagabond ct you'll
Jest jog on I'll call them are dogs oil!' We
invaribly moved.
After few miles travel we gradually be-
came accustomed to tins sort of thing-accli-
mated, as it we're But the monotony was
corralcd by dozen snarling savage beasts,
only one came out to greet US. He seemed to
have been aware of our approach from a-tar
off As we neared the gate he pokcd it open
with his forward teeth, walked out to the road
and sat down upon his launches about five
feet IN front of us, in the most busincss-like
way imaginable. He didn't bark nor even
growl, but showed his teeth-four in the ante
room of his capacious mouth. He was re.
built animal. TO small and wirey
frame was attached a head about five sizes too
large. In fact the dog was all head, the head
was all Jaws, and the jaws were all teeth. lie
could not shut his teeth together by a couple
Of inches HIS four monstrous teeth protrudcd,
and their sharp points passed each other an
nch or two, making fearful display of ivory.
We didn't like to walk over him-Our polite
ness forbade 1t we turned to the right. He :
lrosc and marched to the right and dignificdly
md firmly sat down before us. He opened
he immense cavern used rs Il mouth, probably A
q show MS his capacity to stow us away. He
Uttered a sort Of confidential growl-saying in 9
he canine dialect, us we understood it: This IN
= expressly for tramps." We moved across .
he road to the left, but he would not be left h
'orte position smacklng his tremendous f
,hops and wiggling his tail-a big stub which c
tuck up like sore thumb-as if III anxious "
expectation Of "A square meal from our noble, "
,ut just now trembling frame, We tried to 5
emcmber our juvenile prayers. With us it Il
vas pray with him prey. We tried to say, 5
Now | lay me down to-bc eaten-by this a
loggonc of dogs" We tried tlattery we call
d hun NICE, pretty, smart doggy-wc he'd, q
md we knew it-and he knew it, too,--as he e
merely repeated his doubled bass growl-four :,
notes below any scale we ever heard Of An
dea struck us We had noticed upon the {
cncc Il handbll headed "Grecnback meeting II
lcrc tonight" We knew his master must be =
liatst We had copy Of the NotioHdl a
irccaback BtmJoo.jcr, price 50 year in gold, ,
II our pocket. We drew it out and read aloud I
% the dog GLORIOUS grcenback news! Butler =
will carry Massachusetts, by two millions ma il
GRITTY. lIurrahm We looked at the enemy. 7
broad grin had settled upon his open coun- l.
enancc. We continued: THE government b
art will be around next week 10 dump tons "
If currency at our doors" The dogs stump