The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1878-01-12
All Sorts.


If you eat Q-cumbers they will
W-up.
Good bread is Gifted very much
kneaded.
Order is heavens first law, and
it. mas never been. repealed.
To make tall man short-Try
to borrow five dollars Of him.
Nimrod was mighty hunter, but
he never saw an aunt elope.
If you are OFT in a driving storm
don't attempt to hold the rains.
Chicago intends to.have botani-
Gle garden. 1t already has q beer
garden.
1t is easier to bear up under our
misfortunss than to survive the
comments of our friends on them.
"Do you like Goldfish balls, Mr..
Wiggins? Mr.. Virgins, hessita-
tingly-"I really don't know; don't
recollect ever attending one"
1t is no harm to shoot cat in
Vermont, but if you happen to miss
the cat and kill boy, the authors
ties make an awful fuss over it.
There /! that explains where
nv clohes-line went to- exclaimed
an Iowa woman as she found her
husband hanging in the stable.
"I think have seen you before,
sir. Are you not Owen SmithY
"Oh, yes, I'm OWN Smith, and
OWN Jones, and OWN Brown, and
OWN everybody.
A philosopher asserts that the
reason why ladies'teeh decay sooner
than gentleman's is because OF the
friction of the tongue and the
sweetness of her lips.
A printers devil says his lot is
: a hard one; at his boarding house
| they charge him with all the pie they
, can't find, and at the Office his en-
ployer charges him with all the
!. pi they do find.
A young lady while out walking
: heard. for the first time, her moth
er's intention to marry again, and
she was obliged to sit right down
!, aud cry about it. She could not so
: a step-farther.
l. Idiot!" exclaim a LADY, coming
,. out of the theater, one evening, as
!? gentleman accidentally stepped
on her trailing skirt. (which one
of us9" blaDdly responded thu
u man.
y A lady at Memphis says she
doesn't want any jewelry, hasn't
a looking-glass in the house, ane
g wouldn't take silk dress as gift
~ Memphis has another living curl
- osity-a cross-eyed cat.
a. At a recent Washington break
1t fast, fruit was served as the frs
re course, with articles of jewely on
he closed in the stones. The ice
ID we're in the form of celery stalk
ne and ears of green corn. How nic'
Two Kentucky lady hotel clerk
are winning Communications dali.
ed They possess no single cbaractel
by istic OF the males of their profe:
,r- sion save the one feature Of partin
IN. their hair in the middle.
d., An Ohio youth is to be hapge
ie- next March for killing small be
ist 10 obtain possession of pound
IRE brown sugar. II was the princip
me of the thing, not the sugar, whi'
'oi' influenced the jury.
ne Julius, why didn't you obloI
your stay at the Springs p "kas
tho Dir. Snow, dey charge too mucf
ma "How so, Jnlius?" "Why, de Ian
Wv lord charged dis colored lndividu
his wild stealing de spoons"
md Above all things. learn your chi
md to be honest and industrious;
his these two things don't enable b
nth to make b hgure III this world,
snt. is only chypher, and never v
the intended for figure.
% Old Gent" You don't mean
III tell me. waiter, that you cant g
W. me u todthpick?" Waiter.-"W
49, sir, we used to keep EN-, but
,ha gents almost invariably took
:. - away when they'd done with 'el
Josh Billings says: eff you
tate | ooinO To Give a man auythlQg {