The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-10-24


Full soon chill autumn . frosty breath
Sail blow for thee wind Of DEATH 45i Eff
III. And dash to dust thy Jgaudy sheen
Thy glittering mail Of gold and greenl
EVERYDAY sPICERIEs.
The time when 9 man aighs for more
rCrF,6x5pu xc- urIuxz yxzs - =
calls him up.K Keoxuk Constitutions *
A WOMAN in Nebraska suffocsted her,
baby by rolling over upon it in bed.
What is home without its smother. -;
Puck.
The melon-choly days have come
When melons disappear; Il
But let the downcast chops look up,
Horse chestnuts now are here; r-.,.s3t
JOINT DEBATE: The one held between
the heads of the house on whether this
piece Of stove-pipe will fit that. Il Chicago
Journal. ,.aa
CHAT boy will make his mark in the
world some day." said parent of his
dullest child. So he did. He n6fer;
learned to write.-E Edsnburg Herald.
THE man in the moon must be sorry
that he has nose. if the stencil of this
worlds wickedness reaches him in his
high domain. - Danielsonrtle SentiaeE. y
WEST STRATFoRD, desiring to hear
some singing other than that of the mos
1uitoes, has sent two of its young men to
Leipsic for training. - Danbury Mems. 4
cit is beauty's privilege to kill time =
says an enthusiastic admirer of the fair
sex; all of which may be true, but time
eventually gets in his work likewise on
beauty.-Breakfast Table.
NEVER put off till tomorrow what can
be done to-day especially if it's trying
to make an impression upon some young
lady with large fortune and small
family.-Meriden Recorder.
TIE papers are advertising remark
able curative for fits; but what we all
need at this season of the year is some
thing which will produce fts-in joints
of NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Times. 6
If you want cheap mustard plaster
and one that will raise the hide without
loss of time, you can't do any better
than to buy section. of restaurant
pumpkin pie.-&. Louis SPIRIT
THOSE Kentucky editors are good
fellows. One of them published an ed
itorial, another stole it, and the first one
republished it and gave the second
credit for it.-Detro,t Free Press.
IF Mr.. Edison will only invent pro-
cess for making confectionery out of
sugar, and five-cent cigars out of to-
hacco, he will be entitled to niche l,
section A, temple Of fame. Nes0 London
Telegram.
RICHARD GRANT WHITE has resigned
his position in the New York Custom
House, because the underlings would
persist in saying, them ar kags,
which completely unneryed him.
Jersey City Journal
EDITORS are generally poorly off for
clothing. When you hear of one OF
them having two suits, you can calculate
that one is the suit he wears every day
and Sundays, too, and the. other is libel
suit.-Rome Sentinel.
HE was countryman and he walked
along our busy thoroughfare and read q
sign over the door of a manufacturing
establishments, tCast Iron Sinks.n 1t
made him mad. He said that any fool
ought to know that Camden Post.
II -
How times have changed! Ahundred
years ago it was against the law for a
girl to walk in the garden on Sunday.
Now brass band parades the streets to
encourage her to walk in the garden and
take some beer to boot.-DetroH Free
Press. Us
| THEY were twins, were these two little
| girIs. and Pat said Them gals is colls-
ms, amt theyr' "No,," replied the
| mother, q they are twins. +" 1ees don't
say so," said Pat; "well, now, bedad,
they look enough alike to be sisters"
l-Cdmden Post.
AS the November election approaches,
the political speakers sent out to save
the country are becoming very much in
earnest. In his speech last night one Of
| them yelled SO loud that he burst q boil
| on a man standing on the opposite curb
stone.-Oa City Derrick.
HAY and oats are SO cheap In this
/ State that the Detroit Free Press thinks
it is cheaper for New Yorker to be q
iackass than a man; and by Jove! we
know of several persons who have been
acting on the suggestion these six
months.-BufaIo Eapress.
A MAN who will whisper to his wife,
and chuck his children under the chin
during the finest voluntary on church
organ, will cast his eyes up.to the ceiling
. and keep them in blissful ecstatic enjoy
ment of the melody of the simplest ali
, while the collection basket passes him by
-Breaktast Table.
SwARTzMEYER to his wife: "Now
see here, mine lof, better as you hat
Johnny let leetle OPP Won dat cand,
eatin' obber der first thing you dom
q know, he 'haf some toothache in hi
teeth, and haf been skwallin' around al
|, night init der cholera morbus in his jay
], don't it7''-0a City Derrick. g 3
i. PETER CoGAN, Syracusean, chal
j, lenges any man in, the world to wal
' him one hundred hours without rest
f Somebody ought to walk him off TO
& happy valley inhabited solely by wheel
e barrow men, fag-carying men, amateu
d actors, women who wear pantaloops, an
n other idiots of advanced eccentricitie
n and hobbies.-N. Y. Commercial.
is Rest Is not quitting
: The busy career;
!, Rest is the fitting
q OF self by ones sphere.
re IT'S the brooks motion,
Il Clear without strife,
=: Fleeing to ocean,
II After this life.
L 'Tis loving and serving
at The highest and best;
M IT'S onward, answering, &
And this is tue rest.
- " eff's<1