Litchfield enquirer., 1878-10-03
CLIPPINGS.

A Pas de Deux.-The father of twins
 "Ladies' hat will be felt" this season, says an exchange. So will the bills.
 Strange anomaly, is it not, that a fall-Over- coat should have stand-up collar2
 A man in Venice, Illinois, has christened hrs cat ''Othello, or Newer of Venice"
 MT. Kearney scores seventy-four oaths out of possible seventy-ive.
 A man who is good company for himself is always good company for others.
 If you don't want to be robbed of your good name, do not have it printed on your umbrel- la.
 The woman that maketh good pudding in silence is better than she who maketh a tart reply. -----
 Israel Putnam struggled through an event. full life without a bloodstone seal ring on his little finger. A contemporary informs us that ''Texans raise hemp" We can inform our contempo-. rary that hemp often raises Texans
 The only religious feature noticeable in Kearney's lecture is when he says "We will now take up collection" Immediately after every hard wind, farmers come into town with choice lots of fresh hand picked apples.
 A young lady on being asked where her na- tive place was, replied: 'T have none; am the daughter of Methodist minister" e
 Said an old friend: 'T don't like man who is intimate on short acquaintance, because he is almost sure to be short on intimate ac- quaintance."
 The Rev. Dr. Talmadge says: ssThere are four roads that lead to he'll, and Ingersoll is opening another" Wouldn't that be the Fifth ayenue2
 | In the case of Massachusetts it may be said ''Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, it might have Ben" Edmund Yates loves Cat, ,,,,i,,. s.... ... .. table with it's master. This is the only dark stain on the cats otherwise irreproachable | character.
 Professor Watson, who is employed by the University of Michigan to find planets for that state has his salary cut down, there being so little demand at present for planets Professor ''Can you multiply together con- | crete numbers?" The class are uncertain. Professor: What will be the product of five I apples multiplied by six potatoes ?" Freshman Qriumphantly): Hash"
 This is the season of the year when the nlght ar IS very dangerous, but the girls face death at front gates with the same heroism which has always been one of the chiefest adornments of the sex
 From bad to worse-Y Young Gent (who has I been away from home some time9. ; ssWell. cook, and hew are you?" Cook '.Only moderate. Sir-only moderate; the. fact is I often wish was dead.'' Young Gent. ssPm sorry to hear that but you should mind what you say, cook you know it might be out of the frying-pan into the fire. ,"
 ''Ds you call that clothes2'' said sterniy a British customs official to the woman who had sworn that there was nothing in her trunk but clothes for herself and husband; and as he spoke he pointed to six bottles of brandy. "Yes, said she, softly; ''those are his night caps" s--~,
 At Sunday breakfast table: Paterfamilias to son and heir-'fGlad to see you dressed for Sunday school George; it will be the first time you have been there for six weeks. l" George-'I know it father, but Tom Green says the new pirate and cannibal books have come, and Pm going every Sunday, steady. j" | heard good story the other day that want to tell you, and it's a true one, too A party of Boston ladies who were spending the summer in a little town not arfromth White Mountains attended fair which was held by the ladies of one of the churches. Wishing to appear properly interested, one of the visitors asked manager what the proceeds were to be devoted s"Well, was the hesitating reply, Eve ain't just certain whether we'll buy an ice cream freezer or hearse."