San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1878-09-14
Humors OF Railway Travel.

By the by, did you ever sit in the rear
end of the car, and look along the line
of ears that stretch the car-length in
front of you? Neverp Then try 1t.
You will laugh, II your ribs can be
tickled. Who would suppose that there
were such broad differences in ears, and
such individuality to themP The last
time went out OF the Fitchburg depot,
on my way north, took a look at the
ears along the carr Sixteen in a row
there was the little pink ear, and the big
red ear; the ear with hair round the
edges and a mole on the back side; and
the ear that stood out, and the ear that
stuck tight to the head; the ear that was
big at the top and small at the bottom,
and the ear that was big both at the top
and the bottom. Funnyp guess it
was funny. | sat and looked at them,
and imagined the characters they rep
resented, wondered how they came to
be as they were, and who was response
BILE for some of them. ,....,.ul,.ya
After you have studied the ears, just
step to the front-end Of the car and take
look at the noses. Speaking of noses,
there was nose on that train. Indeed,
in my car there were 40 noses until 10
O'Clock; after that there was only one.
They made up the berths at half-past 8,
and it only took 80 minutes for that nose
to assert itself. There was trumpet, a
clarionet, fish horn, q snare drum, and
pair Of cymbals inside that one nose.
In fact, it was full band of ITSELF Its
possibilities were simply astounding.
1t was in good practice and opened
its concert artistically. Its prelude was
in the minor key; but l have had ex-
perience in such noses, and l could not
be deceived. I knew what was coming
and prepared myself. At last it came.
What Il noise! 1t actually drowned the
roar of the train. It filed the car, and
flowed out by the ventilators.
"What's thatp" said heavy bass
voice. r...r 90 aHa g-nt J.'.
(" What's Mat?" startlingly interro-
gated tenor. ........- .........'
WHAT'S rHAT?" tirnidly calculated
u soprano. yl oh '3a'' fH 1u' a''.'
The answer soon came. Again the
torrent of sound rushed out of the mon
strous nostrils. Big? Yes, they must
have been big-big as bootleg 1t
takes room for such noise to get out.
"Oh!" said the bass voice. rD.., .,n.I
"Oh !" repeated the tenor. ..r.r.,
"OH!" re-echoed the soprano.
Then silence. Gu.gnD H1,hla" .
Nothing more was said for perhaps ten
minutes, while the nose warmed to its
work. 1t put forth its variations. No
two SHORES were alike. One would be-
gin with slight quaver, run up an ever
deepening vibration and then explode.
The next would be one tremendous ex-
plosion-no warning of its beginning, no
premonition of its closing. Then there
would follow a succession of claps, each
distinct, self-assertive, cumulative. Now
it was bass snore, then tenor, then an
alto, then variation between an alto
and soprano. But whatever the key,
and whatever mode, the force was never
lacking. 1t was strong, terribly strong.
81 cant stand this!'' said the bass
voice. ".a ..' .i..'. q" .'.
81 can't stand this!" repeated the
tenor. ....rr .l... ags .'-Haa
81 can't stand Mis!!" cried the So
prano. ......
Laugh? lay on my back and laughed
| rolled over on my side and laughed. /
showed up the window, put my head out,
and laughed; laughed with a spasmodic
action of the heels. Still the man snored
on. Five minutes passed. The nose
was executing one of its most intricate
and impressive passages. 1t began with
q tremolo, rolled and roared itself up
ward, along rising gamut OF sound,
until it burst with a snort. !
"Porter!" called the bass voice.
" Porter y" sounded the tenor.
CON! PoRTER!!!" shrieked the So
prano. ...., ..... .,....... ... og..u.
The porter came, hurrying in, follow
ed by the conductor with his lantern.
l was standing in the passage-way OPP
posite the berth which the nose occu-
pied, trying to hold myself together in
the middle.
"What are you crying forp" asked |
the conductor. B.. -.........,. ...t
That instant the nose burst forth!
The conductor looked astonished. |
He explained afterwards that he had
heard good deal of snoring in his nine
years. service, but nothing like that.