Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1878-06-27
Pastilne.

dSdluSL Tue JoWciS VI tuc COL Ill.
Pastime.
Nothing tries the staying powers OF
man like staying out all night.
What word may be pronounced
quicker by adding one syllable to ita
Quick.
"Ah, parson, 1 wish / could carry
my gold with me-" said dying man
to his pastor. at might melt,@ was
the consoling answer.
A physician advertised that he had
moved nearer TO the churchyard, and
trusted that his removal would ac-
commodate his patients.
"The birds are now upon the wing
The teacher read; the pupil heard.
"Oh, no." said he, "it seems {, me
The wings are now upon the bird"
"They came here" said Artemus
Ward Of the Puritans, that they
might worship in their own way, and
prevent other people from worship
ing in their'n.
When you see a woman balance
herself on one foot, kick the other
wildly out behind her, and skillfully
swoop up in her hand a fantail train,
don't be alarmed. She isn't going to
have a At. She is about to cross a
twelve-inch gutter.
pats description of a fiddle Is very
old, but it is good: at was the shape
OF a turkey and the size OF goose;
he turned it over on its back and
rubbed its belly with stick, and ochi
st. Patrickl how it did squalel"
~Bill, how did you and Tom end
that dispute Sunday!" why, 1
called him a liar and dropped the
subject" Called him liar? Did he
take it? "Take It? OF course he
took It'll But I dropped simultane-
ously with the subject."-Breakfast
Table
A little girl, daughter of clergy
man, being left one day to "tend
door," and obeying a summons of the
bell, found a gentleman on the steps
who wished to see her father. "Fath-
er isn't in," she said; but IL it's any
thing about your soul can attend to
you. know the whole plan OF saliva
ton.
In ancient Sparta the government
paid as r.uch attention to the rearing
OF men, as men now pay to cattle
breeding. The law regulated the de-
gree OF fatness to which it was lawful
for citizen to extend his body, and
when man got too fat for military
service, he was soundly whipped.
Merciful heavens, II DAVID Dayis had
been an ancient Spartan. We might
have heard him yell clear over here
Burlington Ha,skeye.
Elko Post: The day Is not far dis
tant when the houewife will glance
into the woodshed, and, finding that
the husband has gone Off without
splitting the daily allowance Of fuel.
will take down the phonograph, howl
into it volley Of epithets that will
register 160 pounds pressure to the
square inch on the safety gauge. and
then call out to her boy" Here, John,
go down town and grind that out to
your lazy old father, and see that you
turn the crank lively"
A tutor OF one of the Oxford col
leges who limped in his walk was
some years after accosted by a well
known politician, who asked him il
he was not the chaplain Of the college
at such a time, naming the year. The
doctor replied that he was. The in
terrogator observed, Il knew you by
your limp" @Well," said the doctor,
at seems that my limping made a
deeper impression than my preach
ing." "Ah, DOCTOR" was the reply
with ready wit, "it Is the highest
compliment we can pay a minister, to
say that he is known by his walk
rather than by his conversation"