New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1878-02-13
go back to your dinner and leave the

$50 back to your dinner and leave the
affair to me-
When evening came, a few whites,
curious to see how the matter would end,
accompanied the metis to the Sioux en-
campment. At certain distance he babe
them wait, and advanced alone to the In
dian tents. Before one Of these sat
crouched the baffled savage, singing his
own death Lyman to the tom-tom. He
complained that he must now say good
by to wife and child to the sunlight, to
his gun and the chase. He told his
friends in the spirit land to expect him
that night, when he would bring them
all the news of their tribe. He swung
his body backward and forward as he
chanted his strange song, but he never
o1ce looked up-not even when his foe
spurned him with his foot He only
sang on, and waited his fate. Then the
halfbreed bent his head and spat down
on the crouching Sioux, and turned
leisurely away--a crueller revenge than
il he had shot him dead.
1t is not given to every one to play the
philosopher, and accept fortunate
Bullets and favors with equal placidity.
Horatios are scarce. But there are plenty
Of people capable of behaving like Spar
tans where the trouble does not touch
their individuality.
How can I get out Of this?" asked an
Englishman, up to his armpits ina Scotch
bog, Of a passer-by. I dinna think We
can get DOT Of it" was the response of the
Highlander, as he went on his way.
Mistress of herself was the spouse of
the old gentleman who contrived to tum-
BILE off the ferryboat into the Mississippi,
and was encouraged to struggle for dear
life by his better-half shouting; There,
Samuel; didn't tell you so? Now, then
work your legs, flap your arms, hold your
breath, and repeat the Lords Prayer, for
it's mighty onsartin. Samuel, whether
you land in Vicksburg or eternity
Thoroughly oblivious of court manners
was the red -cloaked old Kentish dame
who found her way into the tent occupied
by Queen Charlotte, at a volunteer review
held shortly after her coming to England,
and after staring at the royal lady with
her arms akimbo, observed: "Well,
she's not SO ugly as they told me she
was pa compliment the astonished
Queen gratefully accepted, saying:
"Well, my good woman, am very glad
of that" Probably Her majesty forgave
the critics rudeness as the outcome of
rustic ignorance and simplicity.
The Postmaster General of the United
States once received an odd official COM
munication; the Kaeborn Postmaster,
new of his duties, writing to his superior
officer: Seeing by the regulations that
am required to send you letter Of ad-
vice, must plead in excuse that | have
been Postmaster but short time; but l
will say, if your office pays no better than
mine, l advise you to give it up" To
this day that Postmaster General has not
decided whether his subordinate was an
ignoramus or was quietly poking fun at
him.
Spite of the old axiom about self praise,
many are OF opinion that the world is apt
to take man at his own valuation. If
that be true, there is Church dignitary
in embryo somewhere in the young dea-
con, whose examining Bishop felt it re-
quisite to send for the clergyman recon-
mending him for ordination, in order to
tell him to keep that young man in check
adding by way of explanation: II had
the greatest difficulty, sir, to prevent him
examining me!' This not to be abashed
candidate for clerical donors promises tc
be as worthy of the cloth as the American
minister who treated his village congrega.
ton to one of Mr.. Beecher's sermons, un-
aware that the popular Brooklyn preacher
made one of his hearers. Accosting him
after service, Mr.. Beecher said "Tha'
was fair discourse; how long did it take
you to write it,"
ooh, tossed it off in one evening"" was
the reply.
"Indeed!' said Mr.. Beecher. "Well, il
took me much lohger than that to think
out the frame work of that sermon"
care Won Henry Ward Beechern
asked the sermon -stealer.
81 am said that gentleman.
''Well then" said the other, not in thu
least disconnected, "all I have to say is
that amt ashamed to preach one o
| your sermons anywhere
| We do not know if Coleman invented
the phrase. Gas cool as cucumber;'
but he makes the Irishman in s'The Hell
at Law say These two must be a ricl
man that won't lend and borrower; TO
one is trotting about in great distress ant
t'other stands cool as cucumber.
OF the two, the latter was more likely t
have been intending raid on anothe
mans purse, for the men whose .ver.
| trade is borrowing" are usually, we nigh
say necessarily, the coolest of the, cool
like Bubb Dodington's impecunious ac
4 nuaintance. who. rushing across Bond stree