The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1878-10-19
GLEANlNGS.

The fair season is over, and the bis
squashes and pumpkins have deserted III,
agricultural ha Ills and gone to editing green
back papers.
A doctor went on; for days hunting
and on coming home. complained that he
hadn't killed anything. That's because
you didn't attend TO your legitimate bust
less. said his wife
He commenced with. "Oh can those
lovely eyes of thine when she stopped
him short and told him she wasn't canning
that kind of fruit just then, aud wouldn't
be coaxed 10 do it either"
A mark was set upon Cain: but the
umbrella was, for some inscrutable reason,
left unprotected. - Boston Transeript. Not
1t all. For the umbrella is So made that
1t can easily be recovered. Boston Bm.
An American traveller in Galway saw
pig in n peasants house and lie said:
Why do you have pig in there?' Shure.
said he of Galway, 1.-The house has all
the convayanccs that a raysouable pig re-
quoires."
A little girl was giving testimony be-
fore the court, when the opposing lawyer
put OH fierce look aud demanded # she
knew where liars went. ITO the Potter
committee, guess; that's what papa says, -
replied the sweet lump Of innocence.
- \ lerapder S..ll L.
marked man who had been running
around trying to borrow some money, had
big sight more friends with IN easy reach
than | have And he wept as he thought
of the middle of next week, and wished he
was in it.
An eight hour man, on going home for
his supper, found his wife sitting in her best
clothes on the doorstep reading volume of
travels. =" How is this - he exclaimed :
:" where is my supper ~ 4" began to get
your breakfast at 6 o'clock this morning
and my eight hours ended at r M
Nervous old gentleman to matchmaker:
- No, none of them will do. | want a
watch that won't go tick, tack, tick, tack !.
all the night long. hate to hear a watch
tick, for it keeps me awake" wa,chmak-
er: " All. | see, sir. You want one Of the
silent watches of the night. | don't keep
EN-"
&c ham," in the Paris Charirari, thus
illustrates the occupation Of Bosnia by the
AustrIans: - Two gsmin meet in the street
What is a Congress . says one to the
other. \ Congress? will tell you
wish to co you favor. Very well; make
you present of the watch which the bank
er who has just passed US wears. Now, it,
your business to go and take it of him"
Sir Walter Lawson, at an agricultural
dinner recently, told a story illustrating
the effect of hard times on farmers: One
Scotch farmer had determined, in spite of
the bad times, to pay his rent if it were his
last shilling. and saying to the factor who
received it, 1t is my last Shilling" he
threw down a roll OF notes. The factor
counted them, and said, There is so too
much. odds, mum" said the farmer,
:" put my hand in the wrong pouch
-" What will you take, madame 2" said
the soda water drug clerk. A little straw
berry in mine" said she. "And you SIM
to the husband. Let me see,' Cscanning
the row of bottles which contained syrups
" oh yes; little spiritus frumcnti. if you
please" And as they went oil, after
drinking their soda water, she said softly,
"Oh, George, how much better that Is than
drinking nasty, horrid brandy, as you used
to do before you Joined the Murphy men,
isn't ~ And he said he rather guess