Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1878-05-23
HUMOK OF THE HOUR.

Made OF aWl WOrk-ShOes.
Evening preyers-Burglars.
Slay ride-A cavalry charge.
Matters of interest-Coupons.
A stock helder-The flower pot
Bill bored-A woodpecker's nest.
Still Manufacturing whisky.
Russia won't find John Bull doing.
Superior government--1nt the nunnery.
beautiful lie of the Sea"-Whale oil.
SCOT the chimney sweep.-[Lowell Jour-
nal.
Cartmen's slang-Hire haul.-[Utica Her.
aid.
A big toe-Seven barges Keekuk Consti-
tuition.
Now transplant croquet hoops.--[N. Y.
Herald.
Blessed are the peas makers.--[Lowell
Journal.
The early bud catches the rost.-[Norris-
town Herald.
The best perfumery is not always scent
from Cologne.
The prevailing strawberry-ma .25
per quart. VI Chicago Journal.
A saloon divided against itself cannot stand
-treat.-[ Cincinnati Saturday Night
When prize fighters mill is stopped only
four hands are thrown out of employment.
Switzerland has a National Church, but is
without any form of war-ship.-[Graphlc.
Good NOTICE for Chicago medical college
-''Nobodies business. ."-[Keokuk Constilu-
ton.
A barber in Lockport became dumb. He
is now immensely wealthy.--[ Louisville
COurier-J Journal.
Never strike man when he is down-un-
less you can't lick him any other way.G-
Phila. Chronicle.
In purchasing an umbrella, always select a
blue-ribbed one, as it is the blue ribuns that
will keep you dry.
I tell you as a Snowman, you can't make
animals drink whisky. They know BETTER
Lecture by Barnum.
Lady on shopping excursion-"Oh, dear,
that blanket is much too good! want it for
charitable purposes!
A wealthy chandler of this city drives out
on Harlem Lane every afternoon with para
fine bays.-[N. Y. Graphic.
The laugh of the farmer-Hoe hoe! hoe!
--[Hackensack Republican. Also, hay!
hay! hay!-[Norristown Herald.
How can five persons divide five eggs, so
that each man shall receive one, and Still one
remain in the dish? One takes the dish with
the egg.
''In the spring the young mans fancy"
And curses his fate because his salary won't
admit of his beng fancy the Year round
[Oil City Derrick.
The West intends to stick to ''cow butter"
"Butter," she says, Ito bear the ills we have
than to fly to others that we know not Off,
Worcester Press.
These are hard times but there seems to be
no poverty of invention. Look at The tele-
phone, phonograph and newspaper whop-
pers.-LN Y. Mail.
prize essay for you this year on contingent
fee. We are doing strictly cash business
this season.-[St. Louis Journal.
February, March!-e[Camden Post. So
that April May-[Oil City Derrick. Don't
June know that July ?-Whitehall Times.
Who is this man that August against time!-
[Hawkeye.
At twenty a woman reaches for the trailing
arbutus. At twenty-five she is after horse
radish. At thirty she digs roots for her
blood. Such is gentle spring in The various
stages of feminine life Danbury News.
An editors wife never goes through her
husbands other trousers pockets to strike
packake of love letters. Editors are not like
the wicked, unfaithful men of the world
editors rarely have the other trowsers.
skill Recorder.
Consolation Inebriate- look here;
what / shay is, what's the use O. riches?
Spose mans Roth-you know-a Roths-
child bank, eh? Well, whats the good of it?
He can't get no more drunk than | can-now
IAN he"