South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1878-05-03
WIT AND IIUN1oR.

VIII AND HI NOR.
80 You need not be afraid OF giving
too much, the old darkey pastor said,
'fany ob'you know OF any church w at
died Oh iiborsiieS Jes td me whar it is
an Iwiil maks,a pilgrimage to it, an
oy he soft light Oh de pale moon will
crawl upon its Undiscovered roof an
wrisc'npon de topmost shingle. Blessed
an dc dead who die in de Lord
e.af -h - FA
tY'A flyeiyenr.oId gir!1theiother' day
stood watching her baby brother, VINO
vas making q great fuss over having his
face washed. The little miss at last
lost her patience, and stamping her tiny
foot said: You think you have lots OF
trouble, but you don't know anything
about it. Wait till you're big enough
to get a spankin. anil then you'll see
won't he, mammal
A SMART BoY.-Onc of the South
Wheeling boys, at this time about five
years Of age, son Of we'll known mer.
chant, bids fair to be man if lie lives
long enough. In company with his par.
ents and some others recently, lie had
been listening intentlyfto a conversation
in, which one THOSE. resent argued in
favor Of crematiouin saying, when he
died that was lhe, way he wanted his
body served, as he believed il was the
cheapest means Of burial. Presently
our hero spoke up:, Mr.--don't -worry
yourself about the obeapncss, ifyou wait
little while The devil will cremate you
for nothing
Does your sister Annie ever say any
thing about me, sissyp asked an anxious
lover ola little girl. Yes was the re.
ply. She said if you had rockers on
your shoes they'd make nice cradle
for my. doll. rs
lV~A woman will face frowning
world and cling to the man. she loves
through the most bitter adversely, but
some crusty ol6 bachelor says that she
wouldn't wear a hat three weeks behind
the style to save the Government.
WHAT SETTLED IT.-''Ehe time has
come at last said Mr.. Bidlack, impres.
sively, looking hiswife square in the eye.
j have known it for several days that it
was inevitable, and might happen at any
time
why, dear, what is itS What can
you meang., You look so depressed.
1t cannot be---and veto, relieve
this killing suspense Alexander, have,
you-haye you i4led!',r said his wife.
with claspcd hands. ssv.zr-r.
No, my dear my creditTis yet unim-
paired, and business looking up.
You don't mean TO say, dear, that
your old pain in your head has come
back?'
No
You haven't had to pay that note for
your brother Joseph
No ASS" o
Have you-now tell me, Alexander
Bidlack, have you had another attack of
ycrtigo?'
No
Has your cashier broken his Murphy
pledgc?'
No
Now KNOW cxpe cted it knew
it all the timc-I felt sure il would
be so-Mr. Debonnaire thas asked for
Serephina? 90
No, nothing of the kind
Then tell mo- without waiting n.
mother moment-what has happened-I
can't bear it--lct me know the worst
Well that breeches' button | told YOU
about, has got tired OF hanging by one
thread, and here it. is
FRANKIE s HEAVEN. We heard lit
tic girl Of iivo describe God and heaven
few days ago, To n little brother Of
three. She was standing so near the
golden gate that she could sec beyond
it. but no one knew il. in her heart she
was sure that heayen was very lovely,
and with strange child'wisdom had al.
ways talked ofgoing there to live. Her
little brother frankie refused to take any
interest in the mysterious country. The
earth suited him first-rate, the principal
attraction here being peanuts. In vain
she tried to iInplant in his mind the
same longing for white robes and flow.
ers which lurked in her own. lie dc.
nounced heaven outright declaring with
much feeling
Bright fngs and moosic is muffin with.