The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1878-12-05
All Sorts or Paragraphs.

aHV way az I"IIic II iIKU tHc way 10
heaven-through much tribulation.
:. There are many men whose tongues
might govern multitudcs if they could
govern their tongues.
: Mr.. Flood, Of San Francisco. is
building little unpretentious dwelling
house that will cost $2,000,000.
= These United States will come
back from Paris with sos prizes. We
only had some nine hundred exhibitors.
- There are two things young girl
frequently looks for and never wants to
find-a man under the bed and hole in
her stocking.
= The Peking Stats. Zeitung prints
letter from n chinese scholar asserting
that the telephone was invented prior to
1000, A. D., by resident of Peking.
Small but active bootblack to
wearer of thirteens-"Say, boss, let mo
black yer boots; do it for five cents an
acre and warrant it done before sun
down."
A placard in the window Of pat
ent medicine vender reads as follows
'The publis are requested not to mistake
this shop for that of another quack just
opposite"
- An Iowa man, learning that he
could not live many days. willed his prop
erty, amounting to $4,000, to a man and
woman who had been friendly to hin.
Be kind to the rich.
- A widower had five grown daugh-
ters, who wouldn't let him take second
wife. He gave up the wife, but bought
q savage dog and row won't allow man
to cross his door-sill. II he can't marry,
the girls shan't, he says
:. Among the peculiarities of courting
in Texas is that the ''young feller" is
occasionally asked to step outside the
house and hold an apple or potato for
the girls brothers to shoot Mt, and it is
considered highly unsociable not to
comply. 1t is equally noteworthy that
the well-.o do young suitor never gets
hit
- Fitz Hugh Ludlow, in his narrative
of f-avel in "The Heart of the CONT
nent," tells of an accentric genius who
improved on the old yarn to the effect
that "the weather would have been cold
er if the thermometer had been longer"
by saying that he had been where lit
WAS so cold that the thermometer got
down oil the nail"
= A gentleman being threatened with
on infectious fever, said to his little son,
who in an affectionate mood wished to
nbrace him, "You mustn't hug me
you'll catch the fever" Willie, stand
ing back, looked in amazement upon his
papa, who, by the way, is n pattern of
propriety, and quickly asked, "Why,
papa, who did you hug7"
Habit" is hard to overcome. If
you take off the the first letter, it does
NO. change 80 bit" If you take off an
other, you still have q "bit" left. If you
take off still another, the whole of "it'
remains. If you take off still another,
it il not "t" totally used up. All of
which SSeeee== gee e she@ that, if you wish 70
be rid of "habit," you mus. throw it
of altogether.
- If we die to-day, the sun will shine
as brightly, the birds will sing as swee;ly
tomorrow. Business will not be sus-
pended moment, and the great mass
will not bestow thought upon our mem
ories. "Is he t!ead Z" will be the solemn
inquiry of few, as they pass to their
work. But no one will miss US, except.
ing immediate connections, and in O
short time they will forget and laugh as
nerrily as when we sat beside them.
Thus s!:ss!!ii q! rsss away. Om. chill
dren crowd close behind US, and they will
BOON pass away. In n few years not
living being can say, ~ remember him."
we uVeu III ahObner age, ana dld buSl-
Ness with those who slumber in the tomb.
This is lifei How rapidly it passes.
- a man living in the country, far
from any physician, was taken suddenly
Ill. His family, in great alarm, not
knowing what else to do, sent for
neighbor who had reputation for doc
toTing cows. "Can't you give father
something to help him? ~ asked one OF
tha sons ttyVasa1 dnn,k Lnn,,, ,oth;nr,.
about doctorin' people" "You know
moro than we do, for you can doctor
COWS. Now what do you give them when
thay ara sick" "Wa'al, aullus give
cows salts. You might try that on him."
Cow much shall we give him 2" inquir-
ed the son. "Wa'al, aullus give cows
ieat pound. / suppose man Is quar-
ter as big as cow-giye him quarter
Of q pound" Ei
J. n, ,vs.n - 49,. o.,5 ~. nm.