The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1878-08-15
MODEL STATE PAPERS OF THE
MODEg, GOVERNOR

thongs inaugural and message TO make
old Lindley Murray turn over in his coffin.
We have made it visible to a blind man
than Gov. Anthony must look elsewhere
than to his State papers for his claim to lie
called "the bes. Governor Kansas ever
had" To crafty the curious, We loathing- |
ly delve into his message for another dish
of Executive "hash."
On p. Is, Public Documents for 1876, be
says:
Humanity and the public good unite in de-
nanding place OF confinement, other than
the PeniIentiary, for youthful criminals"
Humanity and the public good" Well
We had imagined that humanity is the
highest public good. In the cold heart OF
the Governor it may not be 50 regarded.
Else here Is ,autology. Why not say, "All
the world and the rest OF mankind" unite,
&c.
On page 16 he says:
men entrusted with public institutions are
50 apt to become inspired with the ambition
10 build monuments In honor of the State,
instead OF providing in the most economical
| and unostentatious manner for its wants,
| that the less such boards We have the better
tits"
The "less such boards" Does he mean
the fewer, or does he mean to reduce them
in flesh? If the latter, we advise that he
feed them on executive "hash." They will
then grow small by degrees and beautifully
less" But, as for US of the general pub
lie, give US Square meap Of passable
English.
Again on page 16 he says:
ain calling attention to the past expendi-
lures. management and prospective wants of
these institutions, do not desire TO so treat
the subject as TO dry up The fountains Of public
charity" &C.
No, don't, Governor-don't dry them up.
Don't make drouth or a parching desert
wind of yourself. And please don't fright
en- US with the idea that you hold tie winds
and rains and drouths in the hollow Of your
hand. Leave something to nature and to
natures God.
We heard, few years ago, OF . weird
wonder-worker in California who held the
great secret OF the oceans and the rivers. He
knew how TO dissolve them into thin air, to
"dry" them up. 1t was blood curdling
story. Mems tongues were parched for
fnger-tip OF water in thinking OF it. He
IN ade his threat and fixed the solemn day
for the awful tragedy. 1t was great re-
| Iaft hat ha
Sierra Nevada precipice, from the cars, and
had his neck broken before the appointed
| day OF doom.
But does he have a successor in his Sc
cret, in the person Of Governor Anthony?
Ministers of grace defend us.
Another thought. If the fountains of
public charity were dried up by the Gov
ernor would the State need Td nurse.
And would the Governor kindly consent to
act in that capacity?
Another suggestion. In this hot wealth
er it would be more merciful to freeze up
these fountains" 1t would be more eco
nomical also, for then the Governor could
supply the ice. One look OF his 'cold grey
eye of destiny" would be sufficient.
We had supposed that the hearts OF the
people are 'the fountains of public chart
ty." If they are, then are We safe, for they
are beyond the reach of the Governor. But
If by fountains" he meant our institutions
OF charity, then are We profoundly thank
ful that he did not $50 treat the subject As
to dry them up?" We begin TO see that
his title to being called "the best Cover
nor" rests in the miraculous things he didn't
do. Grateful for such mercy We pass on.
On page 81 he says:
Inadequate appropriations should be made
| to revive thes. schools-the NOrmal-but SO
guarded As to make 1t impossible for them to
be d,odrfed into primary schools on the one
| hand, OF into classical instit,tions on the 9TH
er."
There is a compliment for the Normals
They must not be "droarfof' into colleges
1t will never do to 'duaT' the Emporia
Normal into a STATE UNIVERSITY, nor q
Concordia Normal into a HARVARD OR A
YALE.
On page SO he says:
There are to-day, enough of the very best
citizens OF the older States of our own
country IA fling at the foreigners.) uho If
they but knew of the advantages of Kansas,
and Its freedom from the crudeness of civili-
aztion they have been trained to believe q
necessary condition OF a new State, 10 s,cel
our population far above a million before the
close OF the present decade"
Here is 'hash." Read it again. As to
its grammar, what shall We do with the
"uho" we have italicized. Where is it. verb
where its connection-where its seguitu ,
"Who" ito swelT will not do. ITO swell"
is the verb belonging to the first part OF
the sentence thus: 'There are to-day
enough of the very best citizens to SWELL"
But who" is only there to spoil the gram |
mar. "Who" is what the owl said. 1t is |
the proper Inference of one who looks 80
wise, feels SO wise, and is owly. ITO who ~
ITO who" said the owl.
He says there are enough citizens in the |
older States ito swell our population" Very |
likely. if they would come here. But his
sentence does not embrace the statement or
make it a condition that they shall come
1t only states the fact that there are enough |
OF them in the older States. As his SEN
tence still leaves them in the colder States"
We are at a loss to know how they shall
swell our population" Perhaps he in
tended they should forward to Kansas dried
apples to he taken with water. We know of
no other way to swell our population" at
such long range. Swell our population far
above million" he says A million what?
The dried apple.theory e1plains-it ~mill-
ion pounds, Of course. And now Is dried
apples are meagre diet couldn't We be
spared some crackers and cheese, Governor
Two things are settled-that there are
enough citizens in the colder States,"-and
that they will stay there If their coming to
Kansas depends upon anything the Gov
ernor has done to bring them here.
On page 81, falsely crediting the work of
the Centennial Board to his board of Agri
culture, he says:
IL Was the boldness of conception tof Geo.
-, the daring of purpose. (of Geo. IT, the in
teiligent and artistic arrangement (ofGeo. tt
which shed 80 broad a hon upon the manhood ,
and culture OF Kansas rs to force a conviction
upon all spectators, that q people whose rep
resentafives could provide for and whose :
agents could execute such An underf.kinv |