The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1878-02-22
Small Talk

A beautiful woman has been describ-
cd rs the paradise of the eye and the
purgatory of the purse.
An Ohio man has lent q new charm
to bachelorhood by inventing button
to be put on with a scrcw-driver.
When you see cat put up her back
and snarl at n plate of sausages, you
may know they are genuine.
Lady Qo little girl of four years)-
| "What are you going TO call your new
dollY' Girl, (hcaving a sigh like some
anxious mother)-'I shall call il Rosa
if it lives"
"Never catch me marrying a reform
ed man," said wise little Chicago girl ;
"when get married IL will be TO some
who doesn't need reforming" And
she was right.
Whoever sincerely endcavors to do
all the good he can, will probably do
much more than he imagines, or will
ever know ill the day of Judgment,
when the secrets of all hearts shall be
made manifest.
al am requested" said the clerk of the
N,
''to announce that Rev. DIR. Mcfarland
will lecture in the hall this evening on
the "Education of Idiots" Members
of the Legislature are invited TO at
tend"
A little boy who was nearly starved
by stingy uncle (his guardian) with
whom he lived, meeting lank grey
hound one day in the street, was asked
by his guardian what made the dog so
thin. After rejecting the little fellow
replied: 81 suppose he lives with his
uncle"
A small boy in Worcester, Mass,
after being introduced to his new
brother, asked his father if the new
conner had been paid for, and being
answered in the negative, said: "Well
guess you'll have to pay as much as
ten dollars, for know where il cost
over seven dollars TO get boy out of
jail"
A Welsh paper in Chicago says:
"Emedan delta blad blir Ell advokat af
den linancclla teori som bcsjalar green
backpartict, och salcdes ell greenback-
tidning, So komma Watt tala green
backs cn god DEL" That's all right.
It's all very well to go in for green
backs, but what's thc.use of swearing
about it?-[ Boston Globe.
A noted writer says, "Thc power of
putting is greatly exaggerated. How
ever much authors, artists or goods are
pulled, the putting does not gain for
them fame or fortune unless there is
degree of merit. If there is no fuel in
your CRATE, you may puff till the bel
lows burst, but there will be no fire,
and your pot will not boil"
Every day absurdities-To make
yourself generally disagrceablc, and
then wonder that nobody will visit you.
TO sit shivcring in the cold because you
won't have fire till November. Not
to go TO bed when you are tired and
sleepy because it is not bedtime. To
make your servants tell lies for YOU,
and afterwards be angry because they
tell lies for themselves. To tell your
own secrets and believe that other pco-
pie will keep them.
DR.. Mary Walker picked out a piece
of black and gray striped goods for her
new pantaloons, and her stupid tailor
made them up so that the stripes ran
round and round, and before the fair
Doctor had walked two blocks with
her new rament, her legs looked so
like two rattlcsnakes that she had fright
cned five men into delirum tremens,
and was finally arrested as an escaped
convict. She is practising her right
leg on sand-bag, and is calmly wait
ing for the tailor TO come to the front
door with his BILL IIawkeye.