The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1878-05-11
The Troubles Of q Poet.

While Colonel Bangs, editor of the dr.
gus, was sitting in his Office one day, a
man whose brow was clothed with thun-
der entered. Fiercely Selling chair,
he slammed his hat on the table, hurled
his umbrella on the floor and sat down.
I" Are you the editor?" he asked.
eyes"
Scan you read writing?"
"Of course"
Read that, them" he said, thrusting
at the Colonel an envelope with an in
scription on it.
"B-,'' said the Colonel, trying to
spell it.
"That's not a B. It's an S." said the
man.
as; o yes; I see! Well, the words
look little like salt for Dinner or
Souls of Sinners " said the Colonel.
"No, sir" replied the man, .'nothing
Of the kind! That's my name.saml H.
Drummer. knew you couldn't read.
l called to see you about that poem of
mine you printed the other day, on the
'Surcease of Sorrow"
81 don't remember it," said the Col
onel.
"Of course you don't, because it
went into the paper under the infamous
title of sSmearcase Tomorrow"
ga stupid blunder of the compositors,
suppose"
Yes, sir, and that's what 1 want to
see you about. The way in which that
poem was mutilated was simply scan
dalous. haven't slept a night since.
1t exposed me to derision. People think
am an ass. Let me show you"
$50 ahead" said the Colonel.
"The first line, when I wrote it, read
in this way: Er
Lying by a weeping willow, underneath a
gentle slope
That is beautiful, poetic, affecting.
Now, how did your vile sheet present it
to the public? There it is! Look at
that! Made it read this way:
Lying to weeping widow to induce her to
Weeping sUidoU, mind you! A widow!
o thunder and lightning! This is too
much! It's enough to drive man
crasyl''
sim sorry" said the Colonel; "but
-,
s'But look a-here at the fourth verse;"
said the poet. ssThat's worse vet.
What l said was
Cast thy pearls before the swine, and lose
them In the dirt
l wrote that out clearly and distinctly,
in plain, round hand. Now, what does
your compositor do? Does he catch
the sense of that beautiful sentiment?
Does it sink into his soul? No, sir!
He sets it up in this fashion. Listen
Cart thy pills before the sunrise and love
~ them If they hurt
Now, isn't that a cold-blOoded outrage
on mans feelings? I'll leave it to
you if it isn't
hshard, that's fact" said the
Colonel.
"And then take the fifth verse. In
the original manuscript said, plain as
daylight.
Take away. the jingltng money; it is only
glittering drOssy
A man with only one eye, and cata-
ract over that, could have read the
words correctly. But your pirate up
stairs there, do you know what he did?
He made it read
Take away thy jeering monkeys on sorely
glandered hossP
By George, I felt like Draining him with
q fire.shovel! / was never so cut up
in my life."
g 1t was natural, too," said the Colo
mel.
There, for instance, was the sixth
verse. wrote, "a
am xSs ssyye with the tossing of the ocean as
It is lovely line, too; but imagine my
horror and the anguish of my family
when opened your paper and saw the
line transformed into
I am wearing out my trousers tin they're
open at the kneesv -:I
That is little too much! That seems
to me like carrying the thing an inch or
two too far. think I have a constitu.
.ional right to murder that compositor;
don't you?'
II think you have"
"Let me read you one more verse. 1 |
l swell the flying echoes as they roam among |
Ind issl mysoul awaken to the ecs.acy tina.
Now. what do you s'pose your miserable
,utcast turned that into? Why, into
his: i4oHs- 7..
smell the frying shoes as they roast along
the bulls, 80, IS
md tbIIs Pee, b, ny sole mistaken in the erctay
sir! Awful gibberish! must
lay that man. Where is he?''
IS He Is out, lust now. - said the Colo.
el. ssCome in tomorrow"
81 WILL" said the poet; "and 1 will
ONE armed.'
Then he put on his hat, shouldered his
UMBRELLA, and drifted off down stairs. :.
fdz Adeler.