Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1878-06-27
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\ universal want-Want OF money.
"a hand press friendly shake.
IN" light of other days-Tallow candles
People Of many crrors-Compositor.
and proofrcadcrs.
People who are Ill tie time cutting lp-
butchers.
Marriage rates are being reduced il, clubs
of tel or more:
y transaction that sdJts everybody
Taking down the parlor stove tor the
season.
There is one place where prosperity can
yet be found-~in the dictionary. We found
ii there the other day.
According to the eternal laws of finance
mint dollars and mint iulcps are incontro-
VerIlblc in the rate Of four to one.
Ii is said that virtue has lis reward. but
AZ no rcW:rd has reached this office. thus
far, We rather doubt the truth OF the say
Ing.
An sure It's aist enough to build !.
chimney" said O'Houhe. ''te howld one
brick up an just slip another one under
it,
A country subscriber says that, while
running Il hiCwih@ machine the other day
one OF his COWS got in front of it. and he
la! beef a lc mowcd."
7 y person boin" asked why he had given
his daughter in marriage to a man with
whom le was at cnmity. answered: Il did
| ii ont Of pure revenge
NJ q printers festival the following was
given: ''ihe editor and lawycr-the devil
is satiafe with th" copy of tie former.
but requires the original of tie latter"
Mark Twain called his dog Joe Cook be-
cause he could not understand him. But
Il classical man ont in Venice. Jn.. has
cliristcncd his eat Othcllo, or the Newer of
Of Venice.
\ freight car was recently broken open
on the Boston & albany road and case
OF soap taken. Probably a case Of car-steal
soap.
The editor of the Detroit Free Press
doubted his ability to climb picket fence
but one grdWl from a dog gave him the
necessary confidence. enterprise and alac-
rity to do it easily.
II is said that glass eyes tor horses are
now 50 beautifully made that they com
pletely defy detection" The imitation
must be wonderful indeed. for we under
stand that the horses themselves cannot
see through the deception.
Going to call on a young lady, SUP.
posr?' the barber asked The young man.
with much dignity. replied: ..See here. my
friend, 10 yon suppose put pcrflmc!y on
my mu>t""ht because I'm going to see Il
man ora boy. or ali old womaE."
a country youth. WHO desired to know
how to become rich. sent shilling in an
swer TO an advertisement. and received tie .
following valuable recipe: '.lhcrcase yo,r
receipts and decrease your expenditures.
Work eighteen hours day and live on
hash and oatmeal gruel.''
An lrishman, fresh from the "old coun-
thry." saw turtle for the first time. and
at once made up his mind to ca;jtlirt it, |
The turtle caught him by the finger. attd |
he. holding it at arms length. said -
Faith. and ye'd better loose the how'll We
ynvc. or I'll kick We out OF the very box ye
sit in. be jabers!'
a frcnchman. having heard the phrase.
''l've GOT other fish TO fly.' very readily
learned its application. One evening. after
'scortin" young lady home. and being
invited to walk in. he thought of the above
and excused himselfby saying:
Il mist 90 cool, some fish,
When a man comes home at night and
sips his tea with his fork. and tries to
spread slice of breld with teaspoon.
md howls nj his wife: ''IIey. Bill. here she
gocs." il is very safe to conclude that that
nan has met with sore at1liction. and has
,een trying to deaden it in some innocent
way.
The other morning the head of the fam=
ly. who is deaf and uses an ear trumpet
hought he heard terrible clatter in the
trcet. and. running to the tight board
ence. hastily put the little end of the tr,m-
'ct in his ear. and rested the big end on
he fence. The bclated vendor of tacteai
luid had Just driven up. misiook the wind
instrument for the regular dipper. poured
quart OF milk into it and drove RAPIDLY
way. which accounts for the milk in the
leaf mans cocoanut. lie didn't hear any
hing mitch. but the nilllnIai would if he
lad waited moment.