The Red Cloud chief., 1878-05-23
HUMOROUS.

-fEF Nhu IA
did Aaron make n golden calf
Sharp Child. Please. miss. becsn..
he hadn't 20, enough gold to make a
COW.
Ladies must not read this: n MAJ
~ uMop splsdn SUI uIui ut~ uMoi
~ sLsAs lwui isq ~ Isllop H.,
IT'S " ioJ sA,sN
n poor woman coming from n wretch.
ed garnet, In an inland manufacturing
town. for the first time to SEE the Co..
shore. gazing n, the ocean. said she NJ
glad. for oncc in her life Ia see soma.
thing which there was enough of
Didn't YOU guarantee that tina,
horse would not shy before the dis
charge Of a cannon" said n cavalry of.
iiccr Ia n horse dealer.
Eyes. I did. and I'll stick tn ill.,.
piled the horse dealer. .'He n~evcrc
till after the cannon Is fired"
A little girl II our acquaintance de-
sired u piece III blue ribbon. and was
told that II she wore IL she wAs not Ia
cry or act up Her sister refused 10
take her visiting day ard she began
to cry. but. on noticing the ribbon, ID
III didn't have on this ribbon I'd
howl"
"a vacuum would be the best thing
for n fellow TO fall into. wouldn't IL Bilp
for then, YOU know, he wouldn't fall
against anything" '.Ycs, he would,
though" stoutly answered Bill. .'hc
would fall against his inclination"
Eli Perkins stood looking at one Of II
new silver dollars. and. seeing on one
side, In God we trust and On the 9th.
or United States Of America sadly re-
Marked: knew we were becoming
very wicked In this country, but I new
or thought that | would live IN see tn.
day when God and the United States
would DO on opposite sides. Arise and
sing!
A story Is told Of a shrewish ScoA n
woman. who tried Ia wean her husband
from the public house by employing her
brother To act the part Of n ghost and
Brighten John on his way home.
"Who are you7~> said the guidman as
the apparition rose before him from be-
hind b bush.
Il am Aud Nick" was the reply.
'Come AVA, mon." said John, moth
ing daunted. .'Gie's a shake o'Sour
hand-l am married tae u sister %
yours"
Jones was always complaining Of his
wife's memory, and said, ..She never
can remember anything; it's awful"
my wife was just rs bad" said his
friend, Brown. ''till l found a capital
recipe What is itY" said Mr.. Jones.
eagerly. .'Why," said Brown. .'when-
ever there's anything particular I wkant
the missus u remember, l write it down
on y slip Of paper and gum II on the
looking-glass. SccP" Jones Is now n con-
tented man.
A little grand nephew Of Prince Bis
marck' WA sitting on the Princes knee
the other day, when he suddenly cried
out:
"Oh, Uncle, I hope I shall be a great
man. like you. when ! grow upr"
Why, my child?' asked his uncle.
because you are so great. and cv-
eryone fears you"
"Wonldn't you rather everyone loved
you?"
The child thoughA q moment and then
replied: mo, Uncle; for when people
love you. they cheat you; but when
they lear you, they let yon cheat them"
The conuhdrum Is 10Y in circulation
what Is the difference between n
potato and a lemonP" When the qucs-
toned party says he don't know, the
other says: ''Then I don't want o to
buy any lemons for me-" and here is
where the laugh comes in.
John" said n doting parent ( o her
gOrmandizing son, lido You really think
you a eat the whole OF that pudding
with %impunityp' II don't know. ma"
replied young hopeful. but l guess l
can with q spoon"
Discerning child (who has heard
some remarks by papa)-'Are you the
new nurse?"
Nurseries, dear"
Child-''Well, l arm one of those boys
who ar only be managed by kindness;
so you had better get some sponge cake
and oranges at once"
"Do you enjoy this climater asked
the Rocky Mountain guide, ss he ledIsn
Illinois editor up the steep sides Of
Pixies Peakc. Enjoy this climb itr'
echoed the poor journalist ~ he gasped
for breath. mo; you jet | don't" The
guide gazed sadly and pityingly upon
his charge.
A father. consoling his daughter. who
had lost her husband, said. IL don't
wonder you grieve for him. my child;
you will never find his equal" III don't
know as l can" responded the sobbing
widow, ''but I'll do my bestr' The faith
err felt cOmforted.
Here is n good ~business-.ike epitaph:
''Here lies Jane Smith, wife Of Thomas
Smith. marble cutter. This monument
was erected by her husband u tribute to
her memory and a specimen Of his
work. Monuments of the same style,