The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-06-14
Facts anal FancTes.

The Norriston Herald insists that no
man likes To hold girl baby In his
arms until she is IL years old.
JEFF Davis is Iecturing in the south.
During his absence the duties of the
presidency are performed by Mr..
Hayes.
refuse to buy house plants. The vases
are as handy as a pocket in shirt
Free Press.
A ledge of the finest kind of jet used
for jewelry, worth 600, 900 a ton, has
just been located. and is being worked
in California canon.
The phrase, Go up thou bald head, !
is supposed to have referred in an
cient times, to the front row at female
minstrel entertainments.
Clara Louise Kellogg says that news
paper men are like lemons, to be
squeezed and then tossed aside. Don't
toss us aside, Clara, dear.
The god of war seems to have smoth-
ed his wrinkled front. There hasn't
been a man killed at an American col
lege for a week.-DerTick.
Very few men, says a woman, know
how to hold baby. A healthy Fiji
islander with an ordinarily good appe-
tite can hold two or three babies.
Jennie, what makes you such bad
grip well, mamma, God sent you
just the best children he could find,
and If they don't suit you can't help
it.
In New York, the other day, a man
was sentenced to the penitentiary for
one year for swapping an unloaded
pistol at another, just to scare him.
Right
A man walks on the water at Taun-
ton, Mass. He wears immense tin
shoes, which proves that a fellow may
do anything he likes il he's only got
the tin. Commercial Advertiser.
A western editor throws up the
sponge with the remark that sit doesn't
pay to run a paper in a town where
business men read almanacs and pick
their teeth with the tail of herring
A man who was noted for his econ
omy of the truth, was once asked if he
had dined. He replied, q have, upon
my honor The questioner said, 'it
you have dined upon your honor you
must have had scanty meal.
1t wasn't women who started the
please. 1t was the men, and they wore
hair that wasn't fast to their heads tor
hundred years before women took up
the fashion, which was only in 1870.
Out in Nevada a young wife in Eu-
reka asked her husband to take her to
the circus, but he refused and said {:
the fifth, and afore them circus fellows
get here Pm going to chain you up"
When a Turkish baker is discovered
to have sold bread of short weight, his
ear is nailed fast to his door post, and
he is then benevolently supplied with
sharp knife, to work, when he is tired
of his fixed position, his own deliver
ance.
If a man is to be baptised it ought
to be done thoroughly. The other day
a convert was immersed, and when he
went home he took with him the min
ister's pocket book. If he had been
held under water for half and hour the
accident would never have occurred.
Brown tried to quarrel with his
mother-in-laW the other evening. He
marrid the eldest of seven girls. Said
she, Brown, my boy, I'm not going to
ruin my reputation by quarreling with
you. Wait till all the girls are married.
At present, as q mother-in-law, I'm
only an amateur
A bright little fellow of four years,
whose correctness the father question
ed, asking '1f Mary should tell you
anything that was not exactly so,
what would you say?' Answer, sd
say she told lie.' 'If brother should
say anything that was not so, would
you think it right?' No, I'd think he
told lie.' Well, supposIng you should
say something that was not exactly SO,
what theng sd say Ts mistaken
A wise Dartmouth student has been
in the habit of bracing up the con-
science of his washerwoman by writ
ing at the end of his wash list, Hon
esty is the best policy But he rather
overdid the pcoverb business the other
day. His clothes were very dirty, so
he wrote, Labor omnia Vincit.' She
evidently knew proverb or two, even
If they weren't classical, for he found
written on the paper when returned,
Money makes the mare co.