The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1878-11-21

When does a lawyer work like a
horse? When he draws a conveyance.
Men are often governed by the chin
in choosing a wife, and many of them
are governed by it ever -afterward.
The following lines were sung at a col
Orcd camp-meeting in Berks county; "a
| floating down de narrow stream OF sin
is milk, religion cream. Sing Glory hal
leluiah !"
Baron Anderson, the late Judge, on
being asked to give his opinion as to the
proper length of a sermon, replied:
Twenty minutes, with a leaning to side
Of mercy"
"A Dutchman about to make a jour
ney to his fatherland, and wishing to say
goodbye" to a friend, extended his
hand and said: "Weu, of 1 don't come
back, hullO."
The Columbia, Kentucky SDectator
says there recently died in that county.
at the age of ninety-fOur, a man named
Francis MCElvOy, who was a soldier in
the war of 1912, was married three
times, was the father of fOrty-twO chill
dren, and had fifteen sons in the army
during the late war.
"A man in Dansville, N. y, while cut
ting into a straw stack, drew forth his
knife stained with blood. A thrill of
horror shot through him as he thought
he had killed some unfortunate tramp
who had burrOwed into the stack to
sleep. An examination revealed the
TACT that he had cut aWOOdchuck in two.
1t is computed that in the year 1877
there were ten million COWS kept for
dairy purposes in this country, which, at
S45 per head, were worth S45O,OOO,OOO
The land needed for their support repre-
sents S9OO,OOO,00O more, and the capital
invested in teams, dairy implements, etc,
SlO00O0000 making grand total of ST.
100000 00O1nyested in this single indus
try.
The mayor of small village of
France, having occasion to give a pass
port to a distinguished parsonage in his
neighbOrhOOd who was blind Of an eye,
was in great embarrassment on coming to
the description of his person. Fearful of
offending the good man, he adopted the
following ingenious expedient for avoid
ing the mention of his defOrmity. He
wrote, Black eyes, one of which Is
absent"
"A woman working in a shoe factory
at North Adams, Mass, has died from
the effects Of poison contained in fancy
leather which she stitched. Her face
Swelled so much that when she died her
features were hardly recognizable. Two
theories are advanced as to the cause of
pOisOning-One, that poison was inhaled
from the leather, and the other, that it
was from rubbing her face with her
hands after working.
The Duke of Sutherland gave a ban
quet to Valentine Baker, Pasha, on the
latters return to London, which was at
tended by many nOblemen, generals and
ambassadors. Colonel Baker possessed
no social standing a year ago, when he
left an English prison, but his service in
behalf Of the unspeakable Turk seems to
have purged him, in the estimation of
the distinguished people of London, from
all former disgrace.
The Central Pacific railroad mOnop-
oily appears to have plenty of money to
spend in its Southern Pacific scheme to
occupy the route of the Texas Pacific,
but it is unable to pay the interest on the
bOndsissued by the United States govern
ment in aid of its main line, and seeks
every means of escape from the respon-
sibility of that debt. Yet tits pointed to
as building the southern line without
government aid.
One Of the latest whims in pottery
adopts the tiny, hOmely little Jug of
quarter. They are fac similes of the Jug
classic in song, about two inches high,
with the inscription, Little Brown jug"
etched on the front, and were originally
intended to please children, but the fancy
Of the moment is to fill them with per
fumery and tie blue temperance bow
on the handle, for the toilet table.
"A bachelor says "A woman win
cling to the chosen object Of her heart
like a possum to a gum tree, and you
can't separate her without swapping
strings no art can mend, and leavIng.a
portion of her soul on the UppeT-leather
of your affections. She viii sometimes
see something to love where others see
nothing to admire; and when fondness
is once fastened on q fellow, it sticks like
glue and treacle In Il Dushy head Of pair"
The lady who attracted most atten-
ion at a recent fancy dress ball in Lon |
don represented Young America" She !
wore blue satin boots with silver buttons, |
a short white satin skirt over which was |
draped silk American flag, |
caught up at one side by a metal eagle, |
The bodice was blue silk covered with |
silver stars, over which was a very eff |
fective metal cuirass, on the front OF |
which was the American shield with |
prominent eagle. For ornaments She |
wore bracelets and a necklace of gold |
dollars very neatly made. On herhead |
she wore a crown of thirteen stars in !
brilliants. The lady was Miss Kate .
Field The costume was designed by
herself
The Father of his Country was an
Istute husband and singularlv lust. MAR
-ha," he said, three davs after his mar
mage we might as well understand each
other. am prepared to admit that the
ate Mr.. CustIs was the best man that
ever lived. lie was a good prOvider and
most excellent IN every conceivable way.
BUT he IS dead. l am frank to say that
cannot weep over it. 1t is simply so.
Let US not resurrect him. Let the dear
Did fellow rest in peace. He was too
good for this world. We will not call
llm back. Let me hear 10 more regard
ng the late Mr.. Custis, my dear" And
'hese simple words, firmly spoken, Sc
'uTred Mr.. Washington much peace and
Utmost as much matrimonial happiness
IS though lie had married the lady
Known as the Highland Beauty.
The complete list of awards at the
Paris Exposition, as published ly
l. n NJ. Y I'll U-.L,--,z - l. - \ ,