The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-05-30
SENSE AND NONSENSE.
HANDY articles-Gloves.

HANDY articles-Gloves.
Good for q cross baby-Healing
bawl-sOmc.-B0st0n Bulletin.
EplrApH on a waiter" He is gone;
he could wait no longer. Commercial
Advertiser.
JONES says the weather is just like
his old wife-one day it's mild and the
next day it's cold.-N Y. Graphic.
The man who was generous to a
fault found so many faults that he kept
himself constantly poor.-Erchange.
The man who prophesied the de-
struction of the peach crop should not
be discouraged. He may hit it next
year.
cousin" pleaded little Hattie,
turning over the leaves of his album,
show me your girls picture"
(which one, dear?' responded the
wretch.
1T is well enough to denounce tramps
and say they won't accept positions.
Just offer one of them the Presidency
of bank once. That would be a
square test.-Puck.
A LION has broken loose down in
Maine, herd of elephants have had a
fight in Virginia, and on the whole the
advertising business of circusses is
good Worcester Press.
DIR. SCHLIEMANN has been digging
up cakes of fresh maple sugar, and he
concludes that much of the crop of this
spring was known to the ancient
Greeks.-Rcayune.
AMERICANS who land in England for
the first time walk down the gang
plank of their steamer with an open
guide book in one hand and a carpet
sack in the other.-HGckensacE Repub-
lican.
COARSE clothes and humble fare hon.
estly earned, are not inconsistent with
the manhood of men. 1t is wearing a
linen buster all winter and leaning over
free lunch table that brushes human
ity.-N. o. Times.
RAILROADS have a great fascination
for deaf and dumb men and for drunken
men. The deaf man invariably takes
his morning walk on the track, and q
drunken man is perfectly happy when
he can find rail for pillow.-M o.
PicGvune.
If it rains Easter Sunday, it aciU not
rain every Sunday for seven weeks. If
the hedge hog comes out on the first
day of February and see his shadow, he
sriN not 90 back and stay six weeks.
This year has ended these two foolish
sayings. State Register.
In recent case for assault, the de-
fendant pleaded guilty. ~ think I
must be guilty." said he, because the
plaintiff and were the only ones in the
room; aud the first thing knew was
that l was standing up, and he was
doubled over the table. You'd better
call it guilty"
MARK Twain told newspaper re-
porter Il at he was going abroad in or
der to filld quiet place to write, where
he would not be disturbed once q day.
It is singular that it never occurred to
him to remain at home and secure
desk in store that doesn't advertise.
NOTriSt0aUn Herald.
THE fashion reporter who wrote with
reference to belle ''Her feet were en-
cased in shoes that might be taken for
fairy boots'' tied his wardrobe up in a
handkerchief and left for parts unknown
when it appeared the next morning:
s.Her feet were encased in shoes that
might be taken for ferry-boats."
The Columbus (Ga.) Enquirer-Sun
does not hesitate to say that ga good,
able-bodied. healthy corpse, or even
slightly damaged one, dangling
from the limb of a tree on a public
highway strikes more terror into the
heart of criminal and creates more
respect for the fiat of justice than
the inside of thousand jails or the
presence of an srmy of JUDI es and ju-
rymen."
A NEWLY-MARRIED man went home
the other evening and found his wife
asleep on the lounge. He knelt beside
her and deyoured her with his loving
eyes. "John," she murmured, in her
sleep. Yes, my pet, what is itp' he
whispered, thrilled to his hearts
depths by the calling of his name.
"John," she again murmured, "spare-
rib is only nine cents pound" The
thrill passed off.
AT meeting OF an organization for
charity called United Workers in Nor
witch, Conn.,, lately, letter was read
from Oliver Wendell Holmes, in which,
| after referring to q controversy of tn 9
| allopathic and homeopathic doctors for
! the control of the hospital in Norwich,
he asked whether human beings would
| not have been better off if all medicines
had been thrown into the sea, and add
ed: sit would doubtless have been bad
for the fishes"
| In a certain ward in this city there
resided last week q middle-aged and
highly-respected widow. In the Town
| of MarbletOwn, and but ashort distance
from the city, also lived widower, well
preserved, q little more than middle
aged and wealthy farmer, with all the
comforts of life, except a wife. One
day last week he came to town with an
elegant span of horses attached to q
handsome carriage, and drove to the
residence of the widow aforesaid.
Widow and widower had never seen
each other. They were introduced,
went out for drive together, returned
little after noon, took dinner, went
for another drive, and returned later in
the afternoon man and wife. But .
little over an hours courtship suficed.
They had never seen or written to each
other before that day, but each knew
the others name and reputation
through mutual friends. The widower
was wealthy and lonely, the widow
poor and observation-disclosures IN.
~ Freeman.
"A Buffalo clergyman, the Rev. ID.
4. Frazer, of the First Presbyterian
Church, being disturbed on u recent
Sunday morning by the exit of three
young men who marched out with
squeakiDg boots just after he had an
nounced his text, said: "That strikes