South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1878-04-26

WI SSNViNSb8hu VIC oCcuc WlInln the
Ear was study for painter. Seven
ioung laspes were closely. pressed by
seven psifs or anascuuliho arms fonr~ Is
zen pairs of lips were glued together
md two dozen inverted .Yhiskey tasks
iashed ii Tie ,Sir.s .EA ~ 7
wl VI - - R.LAt
t1'A little girl in church at Ashland,
Va, has been one of band Of workers
to raise money to complete the church
buildipg.sxSAe had searnod by her own
work q eonait!crabIe sum for child,
when afEicnd heard her express grca,
desire 10 own Canary. bird II was
suggeslee Aaelhat she could easily
purchf0$ ofic ftorns her own purse.
"Oh !'Su - can't get thing
for myself while have tlat church on
my ssssasi 8 4
Oh - 6nESgds :--colonel George
W. Y smss diny in the squared
at Watertown, the other day, when he
spied kiRgmsT WhN somcsweel,s ago had
soldh flit vdsys 'erooled' nay. The
party f an active professor
of relis5sf Hnd smost rzealous worker
for his own pocket: The mars profes-
SION 1E&Etie9Aeing in such maslxed
contr chScd he Colonel toSeye him
with dtsfltc. Wlisn he came sup* tho
Colonel charged him with decsption ins|
the 49, Of hay: The sknaintS sonsly
denieI ahaE sThc Coldns drew
himseeap to his fall height. ana dis.
damfully observed: q am soldicr.ssir
not liar!' 'Sos1p1 a soldier wifn-
cd the promoter of crooked hay. Yes?'
calculated the Colonel, in tone Of dis
gust, what kind of q soldier are you?"
I'm soldiesolStlcyo fcwy@id-stle hes
skinHint. With dVlstestablql .Smish SfI
the hand. That may be- said the COLI
oneI dryly, but you've been on a fur
Tough ever since knew you q
YEA neighbor oGminc having about
half barrel of apples in his cellar, went
down one night in the.dark to get some
of the fruit. NOV it happened that the
women folks had taken Che apples away
and placed upon that very spot barrel
about two-.hirds full of soft soap.
Jones plunged his hand down into the
soap, and drawing it forth uttered an
exclamation that was heard by his wife
above.
"Whatss the natter shecried, "caa't
you find the apples2".
Yes, Eve found 'cm." he said, but
gosh they're all fottcn.s,@
THf MAqhIAoNfs1- LorrERY.-A
young stranger called on DR.. McC. one
evening, while he was pastor in-New
York city 10 engage his services in the
performance of anuptial ceremony:
i wiFh'to rdaISe.a bargain with you,
Doctor! said tiIe young man, 4. think
the girl 7 ah to marry wiz make afrst.
rate wi fe. Ifyou win wait year for
yonr fer, aud she tarns,out as J think
she wiz, In then give you ftysdpllars.
They agrsea tie young c6aple weffe|
marredsaad Che s8ricitlent passed from
the doctor's mind. At Che. end sof .
year, at the.samo time in tlic evening"
the young man called again. The doctor
did not rccognize hin at first.
Do YOU remember INC bafgafns6wsi
made when you married me a year
ago?'
'Oyes,' replied the doctor
Well said the young man, she is
twice az good as thought she was.
There's 500 for you. la 4
Exactly the opposite Of this is Tue
following:
n Clergyman in one of tic Jludson /
riyc5 towns united 4 German couple IN I
marriage. When Tue knot was stied ,tie 4
bridegroom said: Dominic, I've got .
no monish, hut III send YOU Won lcotlc I
pig It was done and the circumstance |
was forgotten by the Clergyman. Two
years aftcrward he met tho Germ an in
another town, for the FIRST lime since the
marriage ceremony was performed.
DomiDie said The German, yon re-
member you married INC, and gave you
Won lcctlc pig 4?
Yes
Vel, il you'll uumarry nc, 7 sill give
YOU two loetlo Pigs HdpG's Jfugo
inc Ior AprH
IVA ncwlymarricd Danbury man
want homo tho ufhcr cycDiru md found