Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1878-01-04
"DO Give Us a Song"

We all know how most young ladies
like to be coaxed to play and sing par
ticularly if there are any strangers in
the room; and how exceedingly pleasant
it is for those strangers to sit and listen
for half an hour to protests, expostula-
tions and excuses about ''horrid colds"
etc., before an essay is made to favor
the company. An instance Of this kind
came under our notice the other evening
and we will attempt to describe the
scene, just to show how very foolish
young ladies can be while affecting
modesty that is absurd as it is transpa-
ent.
Scene Richly furnished parlor in
Van Ness avenue residence. Present,
fashionable miss, the parents of same,
two young gentleman and troublesome
little brother After conversation, one
of the young gentlemen remarks:
Miss Cornelia, | have heard consid-
cradle Of your vocal powers. Can't you
favor us with a selection?"
Young lady surprised.
Why, Mr.. Smoothface, what makes
you think [ can sing?"
oh, no excuses, Miss Cornelia. We
know you can.
"Why, Mr. Smoothface, you astonish
me! Me sing? Why, know nothing
about singing
That won't do, Miss Cornelia," says
the other young man. "All your young
lady friends say that you sing most di-
vinely.'
Really, Mr. Glibtongue, you astonish
me. Those young lady friends are surely
mistaken"
Come, Cornelia, sing something, in
terposed the mother
8 Now, ma, you know | can't sing we'll
enough to attempt anything before COM
pany.
''Oh, well, these young gentlemen will
excuse all imperfections. Come"
"Oh, ma, now you shouldn't persist
in making me laughing stock. Some
times, gentlemen, | scream a little to
drive mother out of the room, but that
is ALL"
Come, daughter responds the old
gentleman, do what you can. Scream
little, if you can't do anything else
Now, pa, what did | ever do to you
that you should conspire against me,
too?'
'Oh, sis, give us a rest. You're put
ting on airs, interposed the trouble
some brother
" Sammy, Sammy, what do you meant
Be quiet, sir, says the paternal protec-
tor, and Sammy slides into corner and
chews button on his jacket.
Now, Miss Cornelia," urges MIR.
Smoothface, affecting not to hear Sam
my's remark, do favor us
"Well," replies Cornelia, If you will
insist ON being bored, III try" Goes to
the piano, turns two or three music
books over and over, disarranges pile
Of sheet music, finally makes a selec-
ton, opens it, arranges it on the piano,
gives ten or fifteen twists to the stool,
and finally takes her seat. She twists
around several times on the stool and
asks the kind of music they prefer, etc.,
and then remarks:
Il have an exceedingly bad cold, so
you must overlook my mistakes-and
besides, | haven't sung any for a long
time"
Twists around to the piano, makes
several runs, hiccoughs ten or fifteen
times, and then starts in, executing most
acceptably vocal selection Rises hur-
riedly from the piano, and takes seat
in another part of the room, saying:
There, | told you l couldn't sing;
and only attempted it to convince
you
Sammy was elected from the room at
this juncture for venturing the remark
that:
/" Sis is the arrest girl l ever knew"
This is simply an instance of the ma
ny that occur every day, where young
ladies sustain character that is obnox-
ious, useless, and in violation of all rules
of polite etiquette And if they knew
how this affectation was discussed
among their male acquaintances-the
very persons upon whom they desire
most to make favorable impression
they would eschew it altogether.