The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-11-21
Notes.

Tobacco has become necessity to
American men. The amount annually
consumed is enormous.
Dogs may be good in sausage meat
but of what other earthly use they are
noted for we have failed to find out.
Sand is what man needs these
times. Unless your backbone is as
hard as a grindstone you will likely
fail of success.
Tom Pepper was kicked out of hell
seven times for lying. There are some
people In this village who can double
discount Tom and not half try.
Ben Butler received 10000 votes
in Massachusetts and is satisfied. He
proposes running for Governor next
year. If at first you don't succeed, try,
try, again, Ben.
-Tilden is mad because some fellow
said he was going to get married. IF
Miss Columbia won't have him in 1880
he is willing to be woman-hater
forever thereafter.
Will this everlasting poultry exhi-
bition in the newspapers never cease?
Election is over, and Hoyt is elected.
and you had better save our roosters
for thanksgiving day.
EARLY in January Governor-elect
Hoyt will be installed. 1t is expected
that the Inauguration ceremonies viii
be the grandest and most imposing of
any ever witnessed at the State capital.
Cow loose in the court yard-ELK
ADVOCATE. Well, get some of your
newly elected Greenbackers to drive
her out. Our court yard cow has been
stabbed this long time.-BrookuiUe
Graphic.
Republican President in 1880, and
don't you forget that fact. Enough
States at the recent election went Re-
publican to give that party enough
electoral votes to elect President and
fifteen to spare.
The father of the belle of st. Louis
has failed for 100000 That belle
won't trouble the young men of st.
Louis now half SO much as does the
Methodist bell of this place the fair
hal ed editor of the Democrat
1T is said that the election tickets
wasted in Pennsylvania, if collcc ed
| together and sold for waste paper
would bring 1000. That sum is suffi-
cient for an editors fortune, and is Just
| $4999.75 more than We have on hand
at present writing. But times are
getting better.
This was not good year for cdi-
tors to run for Office. Mel. Boyle, of
the Mauch Chunk Coal Gazette was
defeated for the Assembly, and Bar
bour of the Nick can Miner is 203 votes
short of reaching the Office of Prothon-
otary. Stick to your business, boys !;
editors have no business running for
| Office.
"A Cincinnati dry goods merchant,
and also leading member in one of
the churches of that city, discharged a
clerk because he wo I'D not lie about a
piece of goods h was selling. It's the
| first time in the history of man that a
dry goods clerk has loot his position
for a similar fault. And yet history
may repeat itself.
kissing the baby may result in de-
| forming its nose and bring OH near
| sightcdncss. The safest plan is not TO
kiss baby of the feminine persuasion
| until it attains the age of sixteen
years. The cartilage of the nose is
much stronger then.-DetrOit Free
| Press.
Don't forget the fate of DeBeck, of
Cincinnati. Promiscuous kissing is
sometimes attended with unpleasant
| difficulties. Therefore we warn you
not to kiss the sixteen-y ear-old baby
unless the baby is perfectly willing to
he kissed.
"A girl out in Indiana is in fear
full stew. Two fellows wanted her and
she wanted both the fellows. Finally
she consented to marry one if he would
keep it secret from the other chap.
When the ceremony was about half
completed chappy No. appeared upon
the scene, seized the girl around the
waist and begged her not to have the
ceremony completed The justice
would not proceed under the circum-
stances, and now one fellow says he is
half married and the other fellow is
not married at all. Why there is so
much fuss about one girl when they
are so plenty we are at a loss to under
stand.
L.;