Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1878-07-06

Over into the next country.
This bald. unioists chat u bis nv lord
Disturbed my Dutch, and besecch YOU
Let sot his mysterious disappearance
Come between my love and your high majesty
Ion City Derrick.
EVERY man y a free moral agent, and,
in addition, there are book agents.
HOLLAND ia great place for towns
with swear at the end Of their names.
OUT in the Black Hills tie lack.
rabbits are called Darrow-gauge mules.
HAPPY is the man who can lie all day
under a shade tree looking ior work
[ [Picayuns.
THF phonOgraph repeats everything
it hears, and will throw thousands Of
people out If employment.
No one has been able to explain why
it is that man feels he is more likely
to get up in time in the morning by
keeping his watch or clock half an hour
fast.
IF Edison would get up little phono-
graph for a dollar that would simplv
say, "Come around qboat the 10th, it
would have big sale among business
men.
" VAT monster language" says a
Frenchman. Here | read in ne news
papers zat man commit a murder who
was committed for trial and zen commit
ted himself to reportair. No wonder
everything ia America is done by com.
mi,ee."
ALL the discoveries made within the
last century were ridiculed and treated
with contempt by our iorafathers; yet
we are equesl!y preiudiced and hostile
to all these Improvements proposed to
us, which will in all probability be
adopted by our children.
On sultry Sunday morning the pas-
tors little girl, Of nesrly three summers,
became wearied al the length OF the ser
mon and in q low tone Of voice, but very
earnestly, said, to the great amusement
oI those who sat near, Come, papa;
that's enough. Let's 60 home"
ARISTOTLE laid it down as a maxim
"that all inquiry should begin with
doubt WheneYer, then, we meet with
mysteries beyond our feeble comyrehen-
sion, would it not he more rational to
doubt the very faculty we are employing
the capacity Of our reason itself?
OBITUARY-Why is the hen immor-
tai? Because her son never sets, st.
Louis Glabe-Demoerat. Wrap its little
pen around it iCld its humor On its
breast; since we know the Globe has
found 1t, let US give that Joke a rest.
Aged sixty.tiye yesrs - St. Louis Jour
nal
SHE lbewitohingly)-"Oh, Pm so glad
YOU are going N see me to my carriage,
Ar, Brown " He thattered) :" Indeed
And may | ask why" Shs-"Oh, be-
cause the girls are 20 Jealous, and | want
to prove that | do not mOnopoiza sll the
good looking men,
ADVERSELY eyssperates fool, defects
towards, draws out the iscuItes OF the
wise puts the modest woman to the
necessity of trying her skill, awes the
opulent and makes the idle indu'trious.
Much may be said in favor of adversity,
but the worss OF it is, it has no friends.
"WHAF Is the difference" slid she,
Bstwsen the moon and yOu2
" cannot tel, mg tf1afrrei one,n
said he. with int'rest new.
The dihltuCa Is this " said she,
With satire OF junius,
I" The moon bath 'ilyery quarters, love,
While you afe impecuu.us"
Nonkers Gazette.
A LADY addicted to novel.reading was
SO forcibly struck by passage which
alluded to the neglect OF children and the
sad consequences, that she exclaimed,
without lifting her eyes from her book,
" Henrietta, where is your little sister ?"
"Down stsirs, mother" " well, my
dear, run right down, see what she is
doing and tell her TO stop Immediately"
The maternal mind was relieved.
IFAdam could for ten minutes come
to llie, would be recognize the old place,
the same old city lots, the same old lem
ons, oranges, figs, elephants, snakes, dan
delions, pie plant, peanuts, sss'aiIas and
persilnmons that he used 10 name up
and chalk down? All would he gone.
He would recognize nsught. But if he
happened to wander into the negro min
stres, he would hear tue same old joke.
A STORY they tel! in Europe; An
American lady, while at Rome, managed
10 secure an invitation TO Z court ball,
aud while there was approached by
Prince Humbert-nOw king-who adN
dressed her some polite speech. She did
not rise as is etiquette, but, pointing
with her fan to vacant chair near,
said: You must be tired, prince;
won't you set down and rest your trotters
awhile?'
A LADY from Excelsior, Mich, re-
Gently related her experience in "shoe-
ing hens" The object is to prevent
their scratching, She makes boot, or
stocking, Of STOUT cloth, and ties it oh
the feet. Then the fowls are let loose
into the garden and fields, and they Kill
or the insects, but do not inJure the
crops in the least. 1t is amusing to see
them walk, as though they we're treading
ON eggs at hrst. but they soon become
accustomed to it. 4
IN relauon to fast setting under diff
cuties, the following story IS told by an
old compositor: You may talE about
setting ap type in rush and making
tsst time butwnen | was young and my
Goeers were nimble aud my elbows Inn.
bef, used to Be- counted a pretty good
compostor remember M night n
particular when set three thousand
ems sn hour out Of bag by moonlight,
ard hsd to tate cycry let,efto The win
dow ~ see what il was.
A THANKFUL MINIS FIR The hat
was passed round in a ce'tan A@,rican
M M = q Election. Aner il had made tho
circait Of the church it WAS handed TO
the minister, who bad Tex hanged pull
pits with the regular pfeachef, and he
muni not puuny il 4. re inYrriee
the hat over tho pulpit cushion and
shook il, t8st It's emptiness nisht be
t.... -. i,,Ntntr Inward the calling