Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1878-12-28
Courier-JOurnal Rifle-Balls.

ClaS8OW ZINES: 0eCtaT1uu 1utcEpO-
lations, in the plan of salvation, are not
calculated to keep the germs of mans
receptivity in fructifying mood for the
pollen of Scriptural teachings." Please
say that again, Doctor, and say it slow.
"Serious trouble is said to be again
brewing between the Oregon Indians
and the settlers" What ais the mill
tary authorities out there that they
don't step that brewing? There is no
reason why the Indians and settlers
should he at lagsrheads.
''Sampson Stayed his thousands, and
Ben. Butler with the same weapon has
laid low the whole Democratic party of
Massachusetts,. Inter- Ocean,.
Yes, but Samson never spelled his
name with "p." You had better re-
adjust your jawbone.
The Baked Beans and Goldfish Fes-
tival" in Boston and the "Turnip- greens
and Hog -jowl Matinee" at Podunk have
been SO successful as Il means Of rails.
ing funds for the church, that Roches-
ter is about to get up "Punpkin-pio
Festival for the benefit of one of the
churches in that city.
A leader OF the National party think
that in managing our public affairs 1--WE
might obtain much help from the spirit
world" and that sit would be wise to
put the management of the Indians
wholly under the direction of the spir-
it's" Nothing would please the Indians
more, even if they have to pay five dol
lars gallon for the spirits.
The wife of school teacher at Ply
mouth, N. H., has just inherited for
tune of 100000. Imagine the emo
tions of the husband on receiving the
announcement. His first wild, exultant
impulse must have been to set fire to
his old clothes and school-house and
SYSTEMATICALLY strike out for Europe by
the light of the oonfagration.
Hopkinsville Ne,D Era: Judge vii.
son, Of Cincinnati, has offered . reward
for Kentuokian who can como to Gin
cinnati and not get drunk" Judge
Wilson knows that the atmosphere Of
Cincinnati IL 20 thoroughly imprsgna-
ted with the odors of mean whisky that
it is almost impossible for aKentuckian
to pass through the city without being
made drunk.
On his arrival in Spain the other day,
Genera. Grant was met and welcomed
by CASTELAR,, thus affording the people
present an opportunity to catch mo-
mentary glimpse, IS it were, Of that eel
ebrated one step from the sublime to
the ridiculous, as strikingly illustrated
in AN address from the finest orator Of
Europe. and reply from the feeblest
orator Of America.
John Mundlein was arrested in
Brooklyn the other day, charged with
having five wives. Insatiate Mundlein,
we should have supposed that two or
three would have sufficed. 1t is won.
der, by the way, that they haven't law
in Brooklyn granting q man the privi-
le0e OF having at least two wives, since
10 few men there are satisfied with but
one.
Out in Iowa old man Gilmans thief.
trap, in the shape of gun loaded down
TO the guards with beans and plantsd
one evening in point blank range with
The finest vatsrmslon in his patch. went
81 little altar daybreak the next morn
ing. and Who Of al the world should IL
bring down but his own dear mother
in-hwi OF eourss shs wasn't ahot dead
in her tracks--beans being almost q
innoeuous when administered BY by
psrdermie injection - when taken With
to much pork intsrnally-but to tell
her that the tap want set sxprsssly
for-her vas simply 10 add insult TO in
jury. Peaos a6Fighted hed. And now
old man Gilman doesn't know which OF
tvo things he 10 most sorry for. that
his mother in.law Was shot or that the
beans we're not, though sometimes
greatly tempted to give the beans the
benefit Of the doubt.