The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1878-05-30
U1rtetU.

A Cincinnati paper tells of man who was
walking along a Chicago street singing, Heaven
is my Home" Don't you feel homesick? yelled
small boy who passed by him.
Don't you think" said husband in mild
form of rebuke to his wife, "that women are
sometimes possessed of the devil2' "Yes," was
the answer, las soon as they are married"
"There is no truth in men, said a lady in COM
pany they are like musical instruments which
sound variety of tones" TN other words, mad
ame," said wit who chanced to be present, you
believe that all men are Tyres"
"a bigger man than Edison" is the inventor Of
"cross.eyed" opera glass, by which you can stare
at any one in the audience you please while ap-
pearng to be directing your glass in entirely diff
ferent direction.
tutor of college, lecturing young man on
his irregular conduct, added with great pathos
1.-THE report of your vices will bring your fathers
gray hairs with sorrew to the grave" II begyour
pardon, sir" replied the pupil, my father wears
wig"
He was fully six feet tall, yet he Strengthened up
and exclaimed, "Talking of short men, look aE
me p And no one could tell what he meant until
he turned both pockets wrong side out and gasp
ed, who is there in the crowd thatll lend me q
quarter%- Chicago Journal.
"I believe the very old scratch Is into them
chiCkensp angIily exclaimed Mrs P, as she
shoo.ed her neighbours hens out of her garden fol-
the fourth time that afternoon. And the way
they made the dirt fly in her onion and flower
beds, was calculated to give the impression that
they wanted to get some of the old scratch" out
Of em.
On a walk q hat did lie,
And gallus chap sailed by,
And he cut lively swell
He was clerk in hotel;
And he gave that hat kick
And he came across brick
Now upon a crutch he goes,
Minus half pound Of toes,
A boy in a Sunday school proposed a question
to be answered the Sunday following: How
many letters does the Bible containP The an
swer was S5SO.8Ss The superintendent says Ia
James, us that rightY" mo, sir, was the prompt
reply. "Will you please tell US how many there
are them" "Twentysix sir"
A scrawny-looking individual came into the
Office this morning to advertise his wife, who had
left him, that people should not trust her on his
account He asked the bOokkeeper the price, and
when told, said, in rome surprise rs that so
Why, that's what paid TO advertise my first wife
thought prices might have come down."-Ddn'
bury NetrS.
my son, you should rise with the sun" said
the old gentleman, knocking at the door Gov
ernor," mumbled youthful voice from under the
bed clothes, "I fear You never studied the Copper
nican lheory-the sun does not rise or otherwise
move" "Well, it don't need books to tell me thai
is true Of my son" replied the blunt paternal
turning away. And the young cOllegian con
cluded that possibly 1.-THE old man" was natural
ly as smart as his boy.
Acolored woman in Florida has child that di
vides public attention with the election frauds
From the waist to the crown Of the head It's skir
is pure white; from the hip to the knees the skin
Is coal black, and from there down the skin Il
white The head is covered with hair as white q!
the driven snow, and unusually long. Mr.. HayeI
should do something to conciliate this child. W.
understand one Of the great objects of his policy
Is to break up the color line.-- Washington Post
The work Of women in the public schools ia, OF
the whole excellent Those who are failures ar
not In fault 1t Ia the imperfect system which per