The Osceola times., 1878-01-05

JOSH BILLINGS says, very truly,
20 You'd better not know 10 much, than
to know 30 many things that Amt 3d."
A SABBATH school scholar wa4 asked
what Adam lost when he fell and he
replied. 81 suppose II was his balance"
"ARTAxERKEs, my boy" said Mr..
Marrowfat, remember the dying words
af Socrates-Never marry 3 woman that
kicks sideways.
IT is final test of brotherly affection
for girl to lend her brothers silk ium-
brella to her beau and not be jawed clean
out OF her CATERS.
A CANADIAN Journal thinks the Dan
bury mans book is " the pure sboddy Of
literature and rays I" it carries in 1t
the germs of moral disease"
"WHAT constitutes marriage 2" asks
the Boston Advertiser. Getting down
10 one cigar a day, in order TO pour
money into the Golfers of the man who
sells striped stockings.
A MINISTER asked tipsy fellow lean
Ing agaimt fence where he expected n
20 when he died. '.If I can't get along
any better than l do now" said he, "I
shan't go anywhere" 'S
TwENTY-osE Frenchmen were sus-
pended from the English college becapse
professor couldn't find out who placed
a tenounce tack in his chair. Ne, ,h9w-
ever, knew ALL about Who at down emit.
A,RECEST article shows that Walking
ton once laughed. Thus perisheS an
other classic structure. Weare prepared
now to hear that theEgyptian sbelak wss
once used for bal bers pole.
THE Boston Globe gives al evidence
Of understanding double entry: iisn'
'o. s,3f sa' Vice.: .l7Hs0jn,l,r
Dec. 30, to Casb...sso % NJ Christmss Pre-. .it.
.;--- " lp!ohs. sna Y.l lost n % ?,
Total. I.-.....-.,sso 90 Total ,.,.-..-...-..-tso %
"WHAT is your, chief consolation in
life asked a pastor Of young lady in
his bible class. The young lady; blushed
and hesita ted, but on the question being
repeated, the ingenious maiden sais..
+" I don't like to veil you his name, but |
have no, objection to tell yopNwhers be
live" :"
THE man. who yas playing Belshaxzar
with western travelling troupe resigned
the other night, on account Of the pAfs.
imony Of the management. He remarked
that he doubted whether lager and red
herring composed the feast given by the
ancient Babylonian monarch, and he for
one didn't propose to sacrifice historical
accuracy to economy, any day.
A LITTLE fellow, five or six years cd,
who had betn wearing undershirts much
too small for him. was one day, after
having been washed, put into garment
as much too lsrge a. the other had been
too small Our sixtyesr-pld shrugged his
shoulders, shook himself, walked around,
and finally 5uut out with, Ma, do
feel awful Lonesome in this shirt
Two Arizona miners, Kellogg and
Carter, quarreled about claim, and
Kellogg fired on Carter. Fortunately
Carter carried bible in his bosom, and
that turned the bullet, and no enabled
the pious youth. TO hack Kellogg sNfh-
ciently with his bowe.knife. Then Car
ter fed to escape arrest, and while cross
ing river was drowned, in spite Of the
bible. Moral?
lie stCiCb PiOSCoo
Austrians in the manufacture Of steel
bronze cannon has beer divulged. ut
consists in q combination of several we'll
known prooeeses. The first IL ROdmans
the hollow casting effected By cold water
in the ceutre; the second is Whitewofth's
system Of casting Under pressure; the
third is al addition Of phosphorus TO she
alloy ' 2 IL So q, .'H CT
IT. seems to be the ambition Of al
young wives to look we'll when any pne
calls. Yesterday a South Side bride
heard ring at the front door, The maid
was out, and she rushed up stairs to"fx
up "a little before admitting caller.
There was A moment of lightning work
sbefcfe the dresaibg case. ;Quicksr, uian
it takes us to tell IL, a ribbon was fastened
at her throat, . flower was stabbed INFO
her, hair, o fash of powder on her face,
and she was at the door, al smiss and
blushes. The gentleman said he dad
walked from Memphis, and couldn't re-
me ember that he had tasted food since he
left Cincinnati.- Oh City Etrriek. ,