The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1878-02-06

A carpenter may seta saw but he can't
make it hatch.
What is the nearest thing to cat
looking out of window? The window.
A Texas dog, which was taken to Mis-
souri,, found his way back, 800 miles, to
his old masters home.
An old salt sitting on the wharf the
other day very soberly remarked: II
began the world with nothing, and I
have held my own ever since" A terse
and suggestive biography. >'
The young man arrested for leaving
an oyster saloon without paying for his
stew, on telling the judge he had for.
gotten it, was reminded that he had
played that one-stew often. ..r...-. .....
A teacher, who in a fit of ve1ation
called her pupils set of young adders,
on being reproved for her language e1-
planned by saying she was speaking to
those just commencing arithmetic.
A band of Portuguese amateurs have
started out from Lisbon to explore CEN
tral Africa in Stanley's tracks, and to
negotiate, if possible, treaties Of COM
merce with the natives along the route.
Editor: We go to press early this
week., Have you got anything in your
head? Contributor Yes, I have.
Editor: What is it, a story or some
verse? Contributor No, bad cold.
Peanuts yield large percentage OF
oil, which is as good for all purposes, as
olive oil. It is more palatable than
olive oil, and is used extensively for
culinary purposes, finding q ready
market. = ... d. '.sts,.. ...t'
One Philadelphian died last year at
the age of 1O2 years, and another at ll5
years. More women, as usual, lived
more than 100 years, one being 101 at
the time of her death, another 102, two
others at 103, and one 106.
A Boston firm forwarded draft for
half million francs ($100, ,000) in an
envelop directed to a correspondent IN
"Paris," and another heavy draft to
"London." The post Office clerks sent
the first to Paris, Me-, and the other to
London, Ontario. Hr&f. ~
A stranger was strolling about Cos
tello's tannery, and accosted Pat Daily,
the bark grinder. Is there a man
about here with one eye by the name
of jerry McCarty 2" "Fhat's the name
of his other eye?" said Pat. who has an
intense horror of being "sold. "-Ronae
Sentinel. .... H.. ..
According to a foreign book on
L" Kisses" about 150, 900, 600 kisses are
given daily. Russia leads, at rate OF
30, 900, 600; Germany next, with 20,0OO,-
90; France, 18,000,000; England,
1900, 900; and Saxony, l, 200, 600, es-
pecially Dresden, which! does 10000.
Out in Dakota the other day stage
load of passengers were compelled to
hold their hands above their heads while
a gang of highwaymen robbed them.
One Of the victims, who remarked
"This is q high banded piece of busi-
ness" was allowed to keep his watch as
reward for his humor. Puns must be
rare in the light atmosphere OF the
'
"Liver-eating johnson" the terror OF
strolling Indians in the Upper Missouri
river country, is reported killed. He
once ate the liver of an Indian against
whom he had revenge, and from that
incident got his name. His pastime was
killing Indians, and he is credited with
a bloody roll of the slain victims of his
hatred larger than any other man who
lived on the frontier.
It is the Easton Free Press which
throwsa great and familiar truth into
this enticing form: eft is now that
the seductive and mysterious mince
pie leadeth man into temptation,
and at night pranceth through his
dreams in the form of pea green
goblin with o molten brass cold in
his head and red eyes, mounted on
bell mule with cast-iron hoots that
weigh ton apiece" .a.a.
Refnements. sort of thingum-
Robert or Walter -you-may call it, " I IN
tend to plant row Of Henry. cot beans.
"This memorial is very James-crack
affair."" " Incomprehensibility is Mary
SYLLABLE" "He had been quite a Benjs.
min-factor to me-" "Never talk OF
people by their Nicholas-names." "The
negro played upon his ban-Joseph."
" BE looks as ahostly as o spectre or
phan- Thomas" "I want little Patrick
Of butter" .Wipe your feet upon the
Matthew"