The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1878-02-16
PASSING SMILES.

to dispurse a crowd. eafseFs 49,
The circulating medium---The spirit
ualist who floats about the room.
A MIRTHruL person observes that,
after all, the Indian isnot SO bad as he is a,
painted, when he paints himself. ,
A New YORK barber has q parrot
which shouts Next" and thus the
thread of the BARRIERS discourse is not q
Interrupted. 5 5se 4
BOILING hair in a solution of tea will
darken it, says an exchange; but some
folks don't like to have their tea dark :,
ened in that way.
STORIES first heard at mothers knee
are never wholly forgotten---a little esl
spring that never quite dries up in our
journey through scorching years.
He that discovers himself till he hath
made himself master of his desires lays ~
himself open to his own ruin, and makes ..
himself prisoner to his own tongue, ~, H.
| WHEN tailor observes man Of bad
habits coming into his shop, he can gen &
orally see at "a glance what he's after,
and takes his measures accordingly. ~ -
A WOMAN may change her mind. A
lady in Cleveland obtained divorce
from her husband on the ground Of
cruel and inhuman treatment, and now
| petitions to have the divorce declared al
void for the reason that she was mis-
taken.
| IT is said that "a wise head properly
accommodates itself to whatever pillows D.
| the vicisstudes of fortune may place ~
under it" but there is nothing said by
the author about the head that can ac-
commodate itself to a bed filled with 3
cracker-crumbs. lu Hss sassss1.
| Wrr is not the produce of study, it :,
comes almost as Unexpectedly on tho @p'
speaker as on the nearer; one OF the first {
principles of IL is good temper the ar "a
rows of wit ought always to be fcathered
with smiles when they fail in that they.
become sarcasm. As sa II
WHILE he was counting over the col
lection money on Sunday last the deacon
of Washington church found an old
and faded piece of paper, which being
unfolded proved to be his own nearly
outlawed note for thirty dollars and in
terest, which the holder, unable to col
lect, had turned into the treasury.
ANDREW JACKSON was accused Of bad
spelling, but John Randolph defended
him by declaring that "a man must be
fool who could not spell words more
ways than one. A boy when rebuked
for spelling needle n-e-i-d-l-e, said that
every good needle. should have an eye
in it, "Sew it should" responded the
| teacher.
THE Rev. John Brown, of Hadding-
ton was in the habit of proposing on
festive occasions certain young lady
| as his toast. Having abanc led the
| practice he was askedfo for reason. Be-
cause" said he, " / have toasted her for
sixteen years without making her
Brown, and so have resolved to toast "
| her no more" 8 M t Era
A GENTLEMAN who happens to own
paddock, and who had tried every effort
and threat in vain to prevent tramps
| from making shortcut through it, was
| eventually persuaded to stick up the fol
| lowing notice: "Beggars, Bewarel
Scolopendriums and Polypodumspl planted
here" The effect was marvellous and
| the annoyance ceased.
A MAN once took piece of white
cloth to dyer to be dyed black. He
was SO pleased with the result that after IL
| while he went back to him with
piece of back cloth and asked to have
| 1t dyed white But the dyer answered:
A piece of cloth is like mans rep
utation; it can be dyed black, but you
cannot make 1t white again" 20
BURLINGTON Hawkeye. A vicksburg
negro fell from the deck of steamboat
the other day, was sucked under coal
barge, came up in time to catch his y
breath before he slid under raft mile
long, and finally scrambled ashore down
at Warrentown, about seven miles be-
| low, with the remark, No use tryin ~
ye KANT drown deep water Baptis' Z
The Brewers should to Malta go. =
| The Boobies all to Sicily, f
The Quakers to the Friendly Isles
The Furriers to Chill. ~
The little snarling caroling babes M *
l. That break our nightly rest, II
| Should be packed off to Babylon,
To Lapland to Brest -f@s1
| And while the Miser waits e 49,
| His passage to the Guinea Coast, As1sts itssas
| spendthrifts are in the Straits.
HE went to church, and the contribu- y
ton box was passed. He had one. cent.
He dropped it on the floor The box
passed on. Everybody saw the supposed 4
unintentional occurrence. When the
folks get downto pray, mean man gets
down for penny-penny saved. When
folks get up to sing, m. M mean man)a
joins in loudly, ga charge to keep | .
have" evidently referring to the penny.
THAT a man should hurl himself from
4 the " whispering gallery" Of St. PauPs
n Cathedral, London, is such frightful
thing to contemplate that when an UNI
known visitor did this the other day it
was thought worth while to telegraph
!, the fact over the ocean,. The !" whisper
ing gallery is one hundred and. one
, feet above the stone floor and the suicide
, in falling struck two chairs, which were
snapped in two by the falling body, and
J, the leg of one of the chairs passed