Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1878-09-03
WIFEs CONFESS vow.

/ o1 sc .nan my neighbors, No. certainly ~
Cartwright simply because be asked me.
tn, was how 1t happened. He was the rec
tor of l"seton, and We lived at the Man0
| from the CHI ~'rch and rectory. We had daily
| service at Doveton, and / nearly always at
tended ids It., and came to pass that Mr.. Cart
was a matter of Gu stOm now, and I thought
nothing Of it; it pleased him, and on the whole
lt was rather pleasant 10 me also.
nrisa must confess, however, l was rather sur.
nue. which led up to the Manor House, Mr.
Cart"right asked me to be his wife.
YES nave snf nexer been able to find out Why said
| throw away so much love; or, perhaps t was
because he was so terribly in earnest that
ce and lis Um Ppeassr h
| ever haunt me If L rejected his love; or, per
haps. 1t was because he only asked me to mar.
think he guessed did not perhaps il was all
these reasons put together, but anyhow said
yes, and in due time We were married.
a most devoted husband, but I was Isl not, and
though did not notice 1t then, / know now
that Tor the first six months after our maria ge
lie was not happy either.
1t was all my fault either would not or
could not love him: accepted all his devo
ton to me as matter OF course, but made
no effort to return IL: and am sure he had
found out that he had made mistake in mar
r. ing woman who did not love him.
One morning, about six months after our
marriage, he told me at breakfast that he in
tended leaving me alone for a few weeks. 70
stay with his mother, who was not very we'll
he watched the effect of this announcement
on me, but though was really dispeased, l
concealed my annoyance, and asked carelessly
when he would start.
He replied, the next day if had no objec-
ton. and SO it was settled.
lie was more afiectionate than usual that
day. and was colder than ever; only once
alluded to his journey, and that was to ask il
might have my sister Maud to stay While he
was gone.
The next morning was anxious to avoid a
formal parting, so drove to the station with
him. As the train moved off, remembered
TINS was our first parting since our maria ge
and wished had not been SO cold.
When got home the house looked so dreary
and empty and there was no one TO meet me:
p eSenlly one OF the servants came for the
Shawls, and with her Nero, Mr.. Cartwrights
retriever. which, when he saw l Was alone set
Up howl for his master. / patted him and
tred 10 comfort him, feeling rebuked by his
gref, as he followed me, whining, into the
house. Every room seemed empty. and each
spoke OF the absent master. At last wandered
INTO his study. where he spent his mornings
and liked me TO sit and work and now re
membered how often had excused myself,
saying preferred the drawing room, and this
reflection did not add TO my happiness.
There was photograph of me standing on
his writing table, and another on the chimney
piece; on the walls hung two or three OF my
drawings, which he had begged of me when
We We're engaged indeed, the room was full
of little remembranceS of me; opened a
book had given him, and in IT was his name
In my handwriting, and underneath in his
own, From my darling wife" laid 1t down
with sigh, as l thought how carefully he
treasured everything l had ever given him.
and how little care took of all his gifts to me.
Everything attempted, everything looked
at reminded me of his goodness to Inc and OF
my cOldness and ingratitude to him. AT last
into fever of anxiety lest he should not have
reached the end of his journey in safety l at
length cried myself to sleep.
The next morning went down to breakfast
with heavy heart, for 1 knew | could not
hear from him till the next day; it seemed so
strange to breakfast alone, and Nero appeared
to think SO too for he was most unhappy,
shifting round his masters chair in the most
melancholy manner.
My plate, for the first time since my mar
rage was empty, as sat down to breakfast,
Tor my husband, who was an early riser, al
ways had little bouquet to greet me with
every morning: frequently forgot all about
ii, and left it to be put into water by the SER
most carefully if he had gathered it.
After breakfast | determined to rouse my
self and 60 and visit some of the poor people
little delicacies for the sick and set out.
wherever went II was the same story, all
held forth on my husbands goodness and
some way or other, and all loved and respected
him. AS listened with burning cheeks felt
as II was the only person on earth who had
the very person whom he most loved and
cherished.
At last went home, tired and sick at heart ::
but there was no one to notice was pale and
worn out, no one to get me wine or soup to
revive me, no one to make me lie down and
rest, as he would have done had he been there
oh, how l missed him! What a fool had
been! Was there ever woman loved and cared
for as had been? Was there ever friend so
ungratelul? Oh! why had ever let him leave
me? was sure he would never come back.
q VynV
And conscience answered, "You drove him /;
he gave you all he had to give, and in return
you gave him nothing but cold looks and un-
kind words; aud SO he left you to seek love
and sympathy from his mother
This thought almost maddened me. In fancy
saw her sitting In my place by his side, low
to love and caress him. l pictured her re.
ceiving tenderly the little loving acts I had
received so coldly, and now was seized with
cused her Of estranging my husband from me,
as though his heart was not large enough for
both of us.
treated her to long TRADE of abuse against
mOtherSin-law in general and my own in par
ticular, and vented all the anger really fell
against myself on the innocent Mrs. Cart
.tWhy, Nelly" said Maud, 81 thought you
liked Mrs. Cartwright so much, and thought
her so nice. that you even wanted her to live
with you, only your husband, very properly,
as mamma says, objected,
$50 1 did" i answered: "but did not
know then she would ever enrice my husband
away from me in this way, or, of course, L
should never have liked her.
Really, Nell, you are very hard on the poor
woman; for, as understand, MT; Cartwright
was not well, and he thought his company
would do her good" said Maud.
Nonsense; am sure he would never have
left me alone, unless she had put him up to
it, replied, rather Grossly.
THE truth is, Nelly, you are so much in
love with your husband that you are jealous
even OF his mother; and you are making your
self miserable about nothing. Why, Mr.. Cart
wright will be back in fortnight, and dare
say you will get a letter from him every day /:
SO cheer up, and let us go for drive" said
Maud.
Iagreed to this plan, and giving Maud the
reinS, 1 lay back and thought of her words.
Was she right after all? Was Jealous? Was
really, as Maud said, in love with my hus-
band? had only found it out now was de-
plived Of his company? Was this the reason
that could do nothing but inwardly reproach
myself for my conduct to him? And the Ion
ger thought, the more convinced / became
that Maud was right, that l was jealous and
that was in love. as she called il.
This knowledge did not make me happier,
for no sooner knew loved him than lOnged
to tell him so, and make up, as Tar as could,
for all my former cruelty, for could call my
conduct by no milder word. / passed sleep
less night, and as lay awake [ composed va
rious letters of confession, which resolved TO