West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-03-23
EVERYDAY SPICERIES.

but when your pillow Us down, YOU can
strike that If you are sleepy, Cincinnati
Saturday Night.
In reply to the question, "Will the
coming man be bald9" the Norristow n
Herald aflrms that che generally ia
when he first comes"
Ir will never do to let women vote.
They would die before election day
trying To find out the color of the other
party's ballots.--Rome Sentinel.
In was because he could not tell a lie
that Washington confessed that he was
the father of his country, but il was
terribly humiliating - Rome Sentinel
A CINCINNATI son-in-law is enthusias-
| tic for n society for the cremation Of
women, and he agrees TO furnish
specimen AT once Rochester Democrat.
CERTAIN newspapers have been doing
their utmost to prejudice the great
American public against Leo XIII, by
printing woodcuts of him prepared with
"A hatchet. -C Chicago Times.
A STRANGER who was about TO pur
chase building lot in Danbury, wanted
the deed made out 80 as to protect him
against any future action by Mrs.
Gaines, of Louisiana.-Grdphic.
POTATO bugs are budding out
We sec the hoppcrH hliul CLEAN.
Aud now the coy and too'bsome trout
Cavorts within his native stream;
Aud now the bluchiTd chants lay
Aud robins twtlcr In the tree
Tho bulllrog's muTmuTr, all the day,
Come floating on tho balmy breeze;
The ground hog issues IRON his hole
And brOwscs on the corn, poor thing
These omonsof the poets soul
Are harbingors OF early spring
MORTIFIED bruise is the name of a
new color in female incry. We suspect
IL is'a shade of green--gan-grene Should
think young lady would feel mortified
90 bc Obliged TO ask for such COLOR
Norrisfo,on HerdM
THOSE newspaper scribblers who are
ever at work TO write other people down
should consult Monk, who asserts il as
maxim that ono man was ever written
out of reputation but by bimself."-
National RepUbiicdn
TIL" Beautiful Blue Danube" waltzes
through one thousand eight hundred and
twenty miles of country where One-half
the people never change their shirts and
the other half never bathe. Ia dumty
ii tum, te deet! TO deet!-Burlington
HdWkeye.
WHEN you see young lady student
from Dorie Hall Seminary, with an
absorbed look i'm her eyes and her lips
rapidly moving, she may be memorizing
n passage from Virgil, and, then again,
she may be only chewinggum.- -jStdmjord
AdUOcdfe.
LAWYER LATHRoP, of Massachusetts,,
says: "If die from the bite Of dog
why should 100000 homes be deprived
of the protection of the dog~ Certainly,
Mr.. l.. your death would not be of the
slightest importance. Let the dogs live,
If that is all .--C COuTier JOuTHdi
The question of general European
war may well fright the continental ma
tions from their equanimity, but what
would be their terror If they saw fore
cast, as we do, in the warm mists Of the
coming spring, the opening Of another
base ball PhuddeLphtd Post.
THE golden light Of sunset
Shines the corn-delds round,
And the breeze, as II passes over,
Makes sweet, hpplpg sound
The bceS and saws are buzzing
Down in the lumber mill
while astride of the old mares crupper
. Popgiteepsie Telegraph.
In the shinmerlng Of the twilight
The skeeter doth appear,
Aud eyes the end of the maiden's
--ReD York E,preaA
In the dark and solemn midnight
Tire bcd-bug goes 10 work,
And the sleeper Wakos and scratches,
Swearing likean angry Turk
--Norrsfoioa Heyaid
AMERICA has no sphynx, but she can
trOt out large assortment Of other rid
dies that will never be understood as for
example, why il is that the youth who
warbles on the mouth-organ can always
go home with the prettiest girl in the
room at country party.-Breakfast
T0bf
How is IL that man will bolt glass
Of whisky in just half the time 10 takes
him 10 bolt his bedroom door ?-NcW
York NcWs. Probably because he bolts
the whisky first Some men can't even
| find the bed room d9or after boiling n
I big glass Of whisky. SO we've been in
\ formed - NorrisiOwH Herdd
I A CORRESPONDENT asks, what is the
I best method Of feeding cattle in winter2
\ We don't exactly know. One man
might prefer 10 take the OK in his lap
and feed him with a spoon. Others
would bring him into the dining-room
/ and let him sit at the table with the old
/ folks Tastes differ in matters OF this
kind .-Ne,0 Lond0n Telegraph.
WHETHER the following was said in
class meeting or not our informant does
not state. II comes from Milford, New
Hampshire: In the town of b., New
Hampshire, lived good, pioUs, but
very simple-minded man named f. who
on late occasion prayed in a religious
meeting as follows in reference TO con
Tossing sins: 90, Lord, Til bet five
dollars there amt man in b., Man
chester or Merrimac that can make SO
clean a confession as good old David
did" Not taken - Hqrper's Drawer.
Mock TURTLE-The public billing aud
cooling of home incompatibles.