The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1878-05-16
WIT AND HuM0R.

simo. 1AohniB oiuer. Nr w
The wages Of sin have been. cut down on
account Of the hard times.
when lisa girl not a girl When she turns
INTO a confectioner' 5 snop.
says eye can threaten like o
loaded and leyed gun" We suppose that is
when 1t is cooked.
-Afhiction sore long time we bore, Physic-
ans were IN vain; Until at last we used blue
glass, and thus we lost our pain.
The latest invitation to partake of LIQUID
refreshment Is couched as follows :-"WM
you look through q blue glass 2'
why do the recriminations Of married cou-
pies resemble the sound Of waves on the shore?
Because they are murmurs Of the fled.
"A New York woman says II death loves .
shining mari, it is singular that he has not
aimed at her husband's nose before .this.
in one Of the current novels we read Of ono
OF the characters that her eye chained him TO
the spot" She must have been links-eyed.
"A Wisconsin editor having written Of . de-
ceased gentleman that sickness had impaired
has that effect"
"A born orator Farmer proposing land.
ord's health)-"An' il a. Squires' nd dew 60
our sqpiear dew there wudna be SO many on
EN- az dew as they dew dew
(sck-Now. III be papa, going to fx the
Hafie-Oh, yesi And I'll be the new nurse,
and you must kiss me behind the oellar-doof
When . young man e~ncircles his partners
waist for . dance, he will do wisely TO keep hs
dngers sim. Nothing aggravAtes : young lady
the whalebones id her dress.
-"Charleyi what is il that makesy on 80
sweet q said o loving mother one day to he
little boy as she pressed him to her bosom.
Il dess when dod made me ont Of dust, he
put . httle thugar in" said Charley.
"A lawyer was noticed at a recent concert
enthusiastically applauding one Of the singers
'Fond Of music, ism t he p said one acquaint-
ance to another. No, was the reply; sits
merely professional instinct. He is moving tot
Q new trial"
-.T wish 1 might die!" sighed q middle
aged maiden, as she hung like l~amp-bolster
out OF the tbird-story front window on q Sum
day Afternoon and copied a man whom shB HID
once coquottishly rejected placidly propellinR
an eighteen dollar baby-cart.
Tho Rapid and emphatic recital OF the fol-
ing: Hobbs meets snobbs and Nobbs; Hobbs
hobs TO Bnobbs and Nobbs; Hobbs nobs With
enobbs and robs Nobb's fobs. That Is" says
Nobbs, 'the worst for Hobbs job" and
Snobb's sobs.
Il had nine children to support, and II kept
'but one Of the girls got married. Now I have
-" "Eight7' interrupted Jones. mo, ten
counting the son-in-law /" said Smith, with
. sigh which might have been heard afaf OF.
hlQeT, Will you hvO y ur1nk OF ClQor I" ln-
quired . Yankee farmer Of an old Temperance
man who was spending an evening At his
old man az never drink any liquor Of any
kind-itpeciaily cider but if you'll call It apple
Juice, IN take q drop"
ring the week 2" asked a teacher Of a ave year
old PuRil;
'Welli what 4"
Newer to lead a small trump when you hold
both bowers"
"A New York boy, Eve years of age, having
stolen . can of milk, his mother took him to
task with moral suasion, and wound up her
were you going to dc With the milk, anyhow"
~ was going to steal a little dog to drink til"
was the crushing reply.
"A gentleman recently reeived an unpaid
letter flor which the postman charged him
two-pence) commencing, 'Sir, your letter Of
yesterday bears upon its face the stamp of
falsehood." His answer was brief and to the
purpose-"Slr, i only wish your letter of yes
terday bore upon it's face a stamp Of any kind.
Some signs may always be relied upon
When a lady makes a young gentleman a
present OF a handkerchief, and he immedia-
tely proceeds TO lock it mp in a dra wer, notwith
standing that he has a cold in his head and
his washing hasn't been brought home, 1t is
usually safe TO presume that he is in love.
-NlnAin, ODstTNel v hulNuuhie NoHnun
to her husband, "Mrs. Holcomb feels pretty
badly now, since the loss of her child, and L
wish you would drop over there and see her.
You might say that all flesh is grass that
we've all got TO go the same way, and see il
she is going to use her dripping-pan this after
noon."
Not long since a lady and her little daugh-
ter were awaiting the commencement Of the
| performance ut a certain place of amusement,
when they were considerably start I'd by an
old gentleman behind them violently blowing
his nose. Great was the merTiment OF those
sitting near on hearing the little girl exclaim:
'Moo-cows! mamma--moo-cowsF E
"A student, being DESTROYS of learning
whether there was any truth in the statement
that Seneca was addicted to drunkenness,
opened an illustrated encyclopedia, and, hav-
ing found the name Of the celebrated phlloso-
pher, the first object that met his gaze was a
wood-cut, beneath which were the words
Seneca after an ancient bust" Tn ardent
Investigator, finding his worst fears confirmed,
looked no further.
One Of the lady teachers in the Peroia
High School went out coasting, q short time
ago. But the cunning Of her .girlhood bad
she got half way down the hill she ran into
two sleds and over three boys, knocked the
overshoes of q fat man, scared n WOMAN with
: market basket and a baby into con-. nlsions,
ran into n cow, and knocked a howl as long
AZ . ciothes-line out OF n Dalmatian dog, and
finally went bulging through q rail-fencs, and
scalped herself and broke her leg. And she
only weighed 80 pounds when abe started
Truly, in the mids. Of life we are in mischief.
-..sNothing will give you life" said a
New York physician TO a~diminutive patient,
except q quart Of linseed tea" ''Thep,"'
responded the sick man, l must die, al
hold only a pint"