The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1878-11-27

1hO eal uONn8
A good gambler is known by his chips
Bradford Breele.
Why is 1t a policeman always collars a
man and cuffs a boy7
Why are ROSTERS classed by poultry dear
ers as spring chickens?
A very charitable gentleman is Benny
Factor.-Reynolds Herald.
The gander that doesn't prepare for thanks
giving is goose.-Free Press.
No Irshmsn has a sinking of the heart as
long as there's bit of Cork In him.
The favorite dish with impecunious swells
is woodcock on trust.-Pittsburg Telegraph.
Chin Ian Pin has Chinese paper sent to
him regularly. 1t is a little paper of Pins.
The letter D is truly an old salt-been fol-
lowing the G for years.-Boston Transcript.
The paragrapher who beard Demosthenese
may have heard MISUNDERSTANDING Her
aid.
A perspicuous Vermont legislator said in a
speech: "My wife, who is a married wo-
man,
A country editor in Illinois writes: eve
are having hog cholera."-New Orleans Plea
yune.
Danbury News: Whisky is about the
only enemy man has succeeded in really
loving.
There ought to be lightning rod invented
that would ward off donation party.-Mil-
waukee Sun.
New York Times: ITO what base use do
we come at lsst?' as the shingle said to the
upturned boy.
OF all the sad words of tongue or pen, the
saddest are these: They scooped me-
Ben."-Grsphic,
Isn't 1t queer how all the smoke in stove
will find its way to one little crack and come
out?-Bellaire monograph.
Christmas is near at hand. Have your
stockings dsrned SO there will be no need of
darning on Christmas morning.
There is no better anti-fat remedy than
poor whisky; il will make a man lean in
short time.-Syracuse Sunday Times.
Song OF the Afghan warrior:
"Fe, a, 70, FUN,
smell the blood of an Englishman."
According to the Danielsonvills Sentinel
the simple, solemn, sober. snoring, salubri-
Gus aud sophisticated snoozer still slumbers.
A chap who runs a two-billiard table es
tablishment boasts elsewhere that he owns
handsome pair of blize.-Newark Sunday
Call.
NV gracious, this boy has neither hair nor
teeth shall have to provide some for him
at once.-Professor Edison, per Buffalo Elk
press.
Some of the denizens of this world are like
creased boots-very serviceable, but incapa
bic of receiving polish.-Bellalre Phono-
graph.
A Kentucky editor says that In one week
he was addressed as Governor" General"
Colonel" Major" "Parson" and "Old
Hoss."
The New York Herald calls Talmage's
sensations Glow neck sermons" The Her
aid is TOO high in Its estimate.-Whitehall
Times.
Says the Hackensack Republican: 1.-THE man
who sat down on the coal sitter, rose from
! the ashes, like the phoenix of old, and
busted"
Here, lad bring forth the trusty file. We
want to familiarizs ourselves with the ingre-
dients of the Thanksgiving ioke.-On City
| Dsrrick.
"Goats consume time" says an observant
contemporary. Yes; they consume every
| thing but eternity. - Popular Science
Monthly.
A grocer caught in the act' explained
that he gave short weight because his custo.
mers gave him long wait for his pay.-Cstts
kill Recorder.
A Boston widow, residing at the north
| end, keeps Swedish boarding house. Her
| boarders are called the widows Swedes.-
Somerville Journal.
Boston Times: James Gordon Bennett is in
/ st Petersburg. Perhaps he is consoling him
| aalf for h. Of NIT he at ,,f
| some Charlotte Russo.
Shakespeare at transporting theater in
| London-"Me lud! the duke of Buckinkham
as harriyed!" GAS e? Be hevings then
hort with Is blarsted 'ead!"
"Is your master up2'' asked an early visitor
| of nobleman's valet. Yes SIR" answered
the valet with great innocence; "the butler
and l carried him up about o'clock"
Mr.. Evarts, in confidential conversation
with Times ambassador admitted that he
experienced a savage, unchristisn delight in
spanking England with her own butter pad
dle.-London Times.
A bad actor TO Macready-"Mr. Macready,
you don't seem to remember me- / once
played Iago to your 0thello at the Bath The
/ alter" Macready to bad acknowledgements
your / shall never forget you"
what Is a solid?" asked teacher After
two or three future pre- sidents had failed to
give satisfactory definition a boy whose
father takes an interest in politics said, 81
know, mum; the uth."-Cnicago Journal
The Boston Advertiser wants to know the
reason why there is no pleasure in smoking
in the dark. We will give the reason il the
Advertiser will promise not to tell. 1t Is
because one can not enjoy a smoke until he
has a light
When Bob Ingersoll was lecturing on
Help in a Maine town, n man arose in the
center of the hall and shouted In stentorian
tones: This ere hall is hot as -. Can't
the jsnitor open the windows and let some
air ventilate through?'
A physician, finding a lady reading
Twelfth Night" said: "Wben Shakespeare
wrote about patience on a monument did be
mean doctors patieDts?' NO" she an
swered; you don't find them on monu.