Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1878-04-04
Pastinne.

4 Maine bull recently took all the
hair off a mans head. He must have
been a boss barber
A party of Alabama regulators were
thrashing a man in the woods for
stealing hog, when he owned up re
three murders. Don't despise triiles.
as this the Adams House," asked a
stranger of Bostonian. "Yes," was
the reply, "its Adams house until
you get TO the roof-then it's caves"
A woman was offered a thousand
pounds il she would remain silent for
two hours. At the end of fifteen
minutes she asked, ISN'T the time
nearly up?"
A negro teamster in Nashville de-
clared that he must either give up
driving mules or withdraw from the
church, the two positions being in
compatible.
A st. Joe editor had an article
headed "What is it we drink" and a
rival editor went over to the nearest
saloon and ascertained that it was
usually clear corn juice.-Chicago
Journal
In choosing a wife," says the
chronological Journal, abe governed
by her chin" The worst of that is,
that after having chosen wife one is
apt to keep on being governed in the
same way.
Little Henry asked his mother
what "blood relations" meant. She
explained to him that it signified near
relatives, etc. After thinking a mo-
ment he said: "Then, mother, you
must be the bloodiest relation I've
gotp
"Do you reside in this city?" asked
a masked man of a masked lady at q
masquerade party the other evening.
He felt sick when she said to him in a
low voice: "Don't be a fool, John: l
know you by that wart on your
thumb" 1t was his wife.
Here's my wife and T." said hus-
band, with much complacency, to his
silver wedding guests. "who have
been married five-and twenty years,
and in all that time haven't had a
single unkind word with each other.
"By Jove!" exclaimed one OF the
guests, what stupid time you must
have had OF it.
I'm almost gone" said drunkard
who had been racked with dclirium
tremens. my lamp is Pickering in
the socket. Bury me meath the
weeping willow, and plant a white
rose over my head" "'Twouldn't be
of any use," calculated his-mother-
in-law; "your nose would scorch the
roots" That man survived his moth
er-in-law.
A Boston shopkeeper sued for dam
ages because his store was shortened
twenty feet by the widening Of q
street, and in the trial was asked
whether he had not thus obtained 9
better and stronger light. He an
swered that he had. Then why dc
you claim damages?" because,
was the reply, "in this locality the
quality Of goods sold requires the
poorest light"
A strong minded female rose in al
inquiry meeting, aud with loud voice
began her peroration by exclaif1ing
"What was 1 created for?' She re
peated the expression several times
growing louder and more excited
Finally matter of-fact old fellow, il
the congregation, rose up and replied
Il give it up" The effect can be i'm.
agined, Lot described.
A good story is told of deacon il
Tennessee, who was in the habit o
riding a bucking mule-that is, /;
mule that can make camel's back o
its straight one, and by a spasmodis
movement Of its four legs and humI
discharge its rider like cannon ball
The other day, they came to the edge
OF the worst mud hole in the State
and the mule gave unmistakable in
dications OF bucking. The good dea
con knew that he was about to bt
thrown, and his mind skurried about
for prayer. His table grace came
easiest: Lord, for what we are about
to receive make us humbly thank
full" he exclaimed, and the mule had
bucked and he was in.
A poison Of any description which