The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1878-05-26
CHAT BY THE WAY.

borrowing any. Snu
Human bodies clio fools,
For a. their colleges and schoolS
That when real Ills perplex them,
They make enow themselves 70 vex them.
In . celebrated now before the courts one OF
the witnesses declared that the Lord enlarged his
vision 10 enable him look through tho keyhols and
around corner and SEQ tho prisoner mixing poison
That KIND OF religious faith 10 q little "crooksd"
Dr. Tslmagc md more in tho Bible than all the
professors OF Princeton and tell what no linda In Ian
guage when they would nnd Il i'm possible He
told people that Moses afflicted with lifelong
nervous disease caused by "that clip which no gave
tho Egyptians" and shat Jeremiah had an enlarge
mcnt Of the Spleen"
Wordsworth said:-
Ono impulse from vernal wood
May tcacn you moro Of man.
VI moral evil and OF good,
Than all the saoes can.
Still, II tho poet had kept corner grocery and
trusted his customers up the point OF bankruptcy
and then them to him by paying their little
bills ho would found better way 70 learn tho
true tnwardnoss Of man.
II q boastiuly tells you that he is one Of tho
advanced thinkers OF tho day, and that the Bible Is
simply tolerated Of the tender feelings Of
old folks you will lind 1t safer have his cash
than his note. Va have noticed that those people
who very intellectual that they have outgrown
tho old-ashoned religion very likely 10 have out.
grown the old-fashonod honesty also.
Invention is still behind tho pressing needs OF
tho timc There direction In which II has done
nothing. and until that gap IL filed tho world viii re-
main desert. 1t has given US the telephone which
enables hear everything which everybody says.
Now, MIR. Edison, you will do for rs than Moody
Sankey dreamed Of doing II will only give
us patent ssshutoH,n to be affixed 10 the ear and
operated pleasure The editor would then 1.-Two TO
green old age, and be defended against the exhaust
,oala ,nh nrtU Matt vvhi IN fha
efficient cause OF carly death In many newspaper
Offices and tho poor clergyman could smile sereney
within himself put his theso Invisible
and invaluable insulators when called to listen
the interminable stories OF family quarrcls. Ho
could sit ike wound-up automaton, smiling blandiy
at tho right moment and making all the appropriate
gestures, but hearing nothing. Yes,
WINGED that the inventive genius OF tho tmo has got
on tho wrong track II 10 not that We want 10 hear
MORE but that want TO hear less, that distracts
us. A monument awaits The man who will enable US
either 10 shut up some people else shut OF tho
ton OF tho auditory aud give ourselves
Mr.. Barnum has mado o mistake At last; these
fanatcai showmen always do Hc has found man
with two heads she uders and tho TACT appears
IN large capitals his handbills and II Is Supposed
will prove great attraction. But It Is lusns nature
at all Every young man can boar testimony that at
some period Ia mis- ife, generally on u moonlight
homestead, no has himself had two heads on his
shoulders Unless man lad that experience no u
greatly 10 DO pitied.
Mr. Rockingham charges thar orthodoxy Is RESPONSE
bio for Communism. IL IL tho Ncone Greed aud q
belief in Bible which Is the fruitful source OF all
tho ills which dcsh and soul heir II wo would
only give up tins orthodoxy, then tostn
Ing and measles, humps ana dyspepsia would vanish
from Tho world at II tho little boy was not
~Af I.A
would nevcr DO tempted TO climb the forbidden apple
tree In spring. and afterward-
Clutch his lttlo vest and wish
He had no apple ate.
Still. the question which most troubles rs 10 mot
whether orthodoxy IL responsible for Communism,
bat rather who | responsible Tor MI Yrothinghams
What pity all our consciencos not tender
that of the youthful truant who ovcrtakcn by
hall storm, who hurried home In terror aud told
his mother that God awful angry ana had been
.'frowing stones at him."
Tho Presbytery OF the West have been passing
Iutions against almost everything that young people
like They denounco theatres, balls and sum-
NOR seaside resorts Tho difficulty with the latter,
suppose is that tho roll IN Sunday on
other days, and they don't like Sabbath ''breakers"
Misery finds Its vent In poetry. In early
life. when, from unrequited anecIion, tho world looks
black Erebus, tho youth nnds immediate relief by
writing odo Death with tho aid OF the rhyming
dictionary. Instead Of taking homock, and SO ipjun9g
his uturs prospects, he takes pen and Ink, and In the
tremendous strain OF composition RECEIVERS his cqui
hbrium. Miodle-agc, TOO, when under tho affection
OF too much conversational ability the part Of The
wife, desperately rushes into poetry as It's emily
solace. Wc have found few lines OF this sort, evt
IDENTIFY written Immediately after u catastrophc:-
IRIS hers scourgo y wrc,cncd man
Lord help the man, prnyl
whose homo and iifo both accufsed
by n scolding wife this day.
Give me the measles an aching head,
tooth with two pitiicss norves;
GIVE u term In tho county Jail,
Give all that icIon dsscrvcs-
Let the savage come with tomahawk,
And spear, ana scaping knile--
dread tnom not; but gecp sais
From tho tongue Of u scolding vito.
Tho controversy which IL going among tho Bap.
tists IN reference Sunday horse care 10 simply
case OF Intermittent religious fever Tho fever ~ ON
iust now but tho chill will have las turn. IL II is
wrong TO run horse to accommodate tho poor IL
Is also wrong private carriages accommodate
tho rich. A compromise must DO effected, and wo
suggest that OF the little girl Her boot buttons
OF and her mother had scruplcs about sewing them
on on SUNDAY. "weli, mother" SAID Tho young
philosopher, awc'n mako IL average about right Tor
while you are putting the buttons on III pray" As
our friend, Mr. johnson, onco said:--Bruddern,
don't cit so much 'ngion rs to make yer IN
rcus'nDlcs fCopics ~ homcttmcs 80 awful
bout ttic things dat dcy ami got no time 10 tend
big Now, my 'pinon Is da, you muss either bab
,Qiyn wild do boss cso hab dcbbiltry loot
No use oh much iippin' and rangiin' bout some
thin that's boun 10 be any how. haD keep my
eye open Ia dis matter, an I hab 'bsarved dat do
blessed clergy IN do fault wild dem boss cars
wat don't stop In front OBJ dcro church doors.
Dom yer seer Its always rong fur dat oddcr misis
ter 10 hab rny advantage OBJ ds vera minister Dat
kim o. shoe pinches oriuL Now, bruddern, taso an
olo mans advice Ipi pay you better In do long run
20 glib ave cents to do gospel preached dan 70
stay at homo, an ding ycrsclf roun,' grumblIn' an
frcttn, cos You're TOO good 10 rIdo an us too far
10 walk. some folks 'ligous dat doys iraid oh
ch,pp,n, OF little bit oh do LORDS day, and ends
BY sfnashin' IL all 10 pieces"