Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1878-09-19
FACTS AND FANCIES.

Bar room prophets: About 3OO per
cent
Uneasy lies the head that tells a good
many of them,
Why is the late war likel Noah's doveP
Because it brought the green-back.
A parrot is said to live to be 200 years
old A barber does not live so long, but
he talks more.
God noblest work is man" thinks
the Chicago Tribune; "butmore particular
" the Ohio man.
Prize fights furnish novel reading now
and then; they SAVIOR somewhatof Of the jaw
jelly-it order.
The light fingered gentry would make
very happy family, as they take extreme
delight in living to gather.
A st. Louis belle, while bathing at
Long Branch, recently, was attacked by
shark, which bit off her small toe, but
was choked to death in the attempt to
swallow it.
One real healthy mosquito can come
nearest entertaining man all night, and
do it easier, than any specimen OF animal
nature that has ever been invented.
People can take an excursion around
the lakes for few dollars and be sea-sick
in four states, and help the fishes through
hard winter in four different kinds OF
water, all in two weeks.
w. A. Slcdge was postmaster at Law
renCeyille, Va; but he sent a tart reply to
request for contribution to the Repub-
lcan campaign fund.- and now he is COM
PEELED to acknowledge that Hayes is a
bigger man than Old Sledge.
Mrs. Eastaway, residing ut Liverpool,
England has written to a Baltimore
journal that she is Stanley's mother and
that she can identity her long-lost son by
! peculiar India ink marks on his arms and
MOI on his neck. He was born, she
says, in NJw York, in ls43-S p al
ways thought the gyaat eEPIorer mad
mother.
Kearney wants to know "who owns this
world?' If he could secure an opportu-
nity to listen to the information which col
lege freshmen from distant parts confden-
TALLY impart to each other concerning the
possessions of their respective fathers, he
would soon be able to locate the chief
ownership of this bauble.
A good way to get a breeze this warm
wcatheris to stir up a conversation with
some young LADY upon the subject OF
Homan's Ignorance and extravaganza
combined. It's certain-but it isn't very
safe, and we couldn't conscientiously rec
ommend it to young men with week con-
stitutions. Better fool around base ball,
or the knots in a mules tail, till your sys-
TEN gets accustomed to severe shocks.
A young roue, from Milwaukee, took a
girl of fifteen to Chicago and placed her
in Il well-known bagniO. The keeper,
Geneyieve BOyingtOn, has two children
herself, and had some touch Of mother
compassion. She questioned the girl, who
did not know the character of the house to
which her lover had brought her, and in
duced the girl to return to her parents,
When the young man came aroundh he was
summarily kicked into the st 'eet.
At the depot: Foreigner-'Is that the
emperor of Germany at the desk in there?"
rEmploye-"O, no! Foreioncr-"Per-
haps, then, he is the president Of Vne
| road Not at ell not at all; he is an
ordinary person employed on salary,
same as myself" Foreigner-"Indeed!
! IN very much surprised. Only subor-
dinate! Why, | was completely humili-
atcd an the time he was talking to me.
! was about to commit suicide from a feel
ing of my own unworthiness. Only
subordinate! Well. next time II know
railroad man when | hear him.
Mr. Dafodil was very tired when he
came home the other evening, and as he
flung himself at full length upon the sofa
in his parlor, he hummed Thou art so
near, and vet so far" His wife los.. !up
wit strange glitter in her eye: Set
Un tau- little, cant you?" she said.
'0ro.l p.wl himself when he is
.a- .t. SHY. "Oh, come
.#.a.,.r.. .,t.. ..| ~ sock come Ia