West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-06-08
WAIFS AND wHIMS.

PARAsoL ribbons must be of the same
tint IA those on the bonnet
a GOOD way to protect young trees IL
TO drop n headless barrel over them.
GRADUATED cork fastened to muslin
is II new padding to put under carpet.
FLORIDA sugar fields yield about one
hundred and twenty-eight dollars an
acre.
VIGOROUS motion of the Jaws as if
masticating will stop bleeding ut the
nose.
a PATRIOTIC writer wants to make il
criminal ohensc To shoot an American
eagle.
MANY swampy fields could be turned
into profitable fish ponds at little ex-
pense.
A RUSH of thoughts is the only con
ceivable prosperity that can come
To us.
The man who studies to be rcvcnged
only manages to keep his own wounds
green.
AN agricultural paper says the China
men are the best farmers and gardeners
in California.
A MAN died from lack of proper nour-
ishment in Brooklyn, who had money in
five savings banks.
AN ounce of cream of tartar in n pint
of water drank Mt intervals is certain
cure for smallpox.
CONSISTENCY, thou art jewel
lncon istency, thy name is Smith l."
Breakfast Table.
THERE are two things 10 which we
never grow accustomed--the Tavages
of time and the injustice of our fellow
men,
A PRIVATE letter from New South
Wales announces that Parliament has
voted G76,0 900 TO encourage immigra-
ton.
IT is heaven upon earth TO have
mans mind move in charity, rest i'm
Providence and turn upon the poles of
truth.
THERE il TO more implacable enemy
than he who feels he has wronged you,
and no more unhappy man than such a
enemy.
No proposal for canonization can be
entertained in the Roman Catholic
Church until a person has been dead
fifty years.
PEOPLE generally regard religion as
very necessary when one is dying, and
terribly intrusive and in the way at all
other times.
WHEN you are sick it comes easy to
promise all sorts of reformation, and
when you recover it is Just as easy TO
forget them.
EVERY angry man thinks he is right,
and nine out Of ten can see that they
were wrong when anger cools. The
tenth is a fool.
The South Australian Government
has offered bonus of $50, 900 for the dis
covery of coal field within the limits
of the province.
a WOMAN in Pomfret, VT, supports
her husband and children by doing the
farm work herself. The husband main
tains the style of the family.
No less than 1859 024, ,S29 grains of
opium are brought into this country an
Hunlly. There are supposed TO be over
100000 opium eaters in the United
States
A NEW York truckman bears away
the palm, in announcing in his adver-
tisement that he is prepared 10 "move
furniture so that il will show TO the best
advantage"
vinces conquered at various times and
joined 10 the empire - Siberia, the
Crimea, Kew Astrakan, Kasan, Fin
land, Poland, Krussinia.
ARTIST" You carried my picture 10
the exposition and handed IL over 70 the
managersY Porter" Yes, your honor.
IT. pleased them. Lord, how they
laughed. ."-Paris Journak
The Pope's allocutory decree re-estab-
fishing the Roman Church hierarchy in
Scotland WAS publicly burned on Glas-
glow Green There were fears Of riot,
and the military we're kept under arms.
WIEN samson sailed forth 10 snfto
The Toes that gathered round him,
His king tpOke out pR.e with nffrig1t,
Think you that you can pound 'em"
He paused mUmcut--thOught IL DER,
And quickly said " can, sir
Hc them gave them a jack-mule's Jaw,
Which proved " big bpno-answer."
H1etensact R,pt5t>an.
PAUSE, vain and impatient youth.
Squandcr not thine earnings for magic
clixirs wherewith to hurry up thy tardy
mustache Esau might have saved his
birthright and avoided world of
trouble had his face been as smooth az
thine Brcatfas Table.
SIR GARNtT WoLsELEY has taken 10
growing his hair long, after having been
for some years trying to cultivate what
is known a. q mixture Of the beauty
Of a convict and COcOanut" The change
becomes him, but he does not look half
40 fierce as he us TO do.