Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1878-07-24

Columbia's conduct at Henly is
Observation-Disclosures Bulletin.
We have had whole week of
snn-days,-Boston Commercial Bull
letin.
"The Columbia crew." Well,
why shouldn't they crow New
Haven Register.
There was a heavy frost last
night-in the Artic region.-Nor-
ristown Hearld.
When a man unused to labor
joins workingman's party, it is
presumed he is working for an Of
fice.-New Orleans Picayune.
Medical examination.-"What is
there besides ether and chloroform
to produce unconsciousnessw Wis
iting boy.-"A club"
"What's the man yelling at ?"
asked an Illinois farmer of his boy.
"Why," chuckled the boy, she's
yelling at the top of his voice."
You never read of breach of
promise suit in which the mother
doesn't seem to know much more
about the case than the girl.-Lon-
don Advertiser.
Gentleman.-'I say, waiter, I've
Just cracked this egg. Look at il"
Waiter.-"Don't look very nice that
end, sir, / must say. Try the 9TH
er."-Judy.
Let's hear from the man who
hoes ten acres of corn per day
Detroit Free Press.
We usually draw hose over ten
achers of corns per day.-Grahic.
Old Salt.-"Be you going to
paint that boat yonder, mister9'
Artist.-"Yes." Old Salt.-"Then
mayhap you'll be glad of some of
the paint we used on her last week"
London Fun.
When a bridegroom finds all the
clothes he owns in the world hung
one over the other on hook he
hind the pantry door, he realizes
for the first time that the honey.
moon is over.-Andrews' Bazaar.
"Ohp said the afflicted wife,
weeping over his remains, "he said
he would take off his hannels any,
way, and poor man, he never
thought how soon he would go to
that place where flannels are never
needed"
Mrs. Langtrey, the reigning Lon
don beauty, did a spirited thing
the other day. In the midst of an
admiring circle she asked her hns-
band to introduce to her certain
well-known gentleman. He did.
The gentleman, flattered. smiled
and bowed. III want you," said
the beauty, giving him her handker-
chief, 81 want you to wipe the paint
from my face, as / hear you say at
the clubs that | am painted" 1t
was the man himself that got the
"wipe," or felt as though he had.
Wit is sometimes better than ar
gument, and a good story supplies
place of the strongest logic. Two
politicians were stumping the State
together, each for his own elec-
ton. One of them was a very
mean man and the other took ad-
vantage of that fact and re-
lated q story which won him more
votes than the most eloquent pc
riods could have done. "My
friends" he said, "our ancestors
believed that at a moment when
man died, child was born and
that the soul of the man entered
the body of the child. Now,
have nothing to say against my OPP
ponent except to state that / have
instituted a very careful inquiry
and have discovered that when he
was born nobody died"
One Of the most remarkable
cases of mistaken identity occur
red in st. Louis the other day
Herman Schuster, Teutonian res
ident, was surprised one morning
to read in the newspapers that he
was dead, and that his body was
lying at the morgue. To that
cheerful resort he hied himself
without delay, only to find the
newspaper statement for once COR
rect, so far as he could trust his
own eyes. Like most Germans,
however, having q strong love OF
life. he was not inclined to give IL