The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1878-02-07

witnessed from my high perch on the
top shelf, this scene of mutual for
giveness, could here let the curtain
fall upon this glorious picture of har-
mony and good will. Would that this
truthful narrative could conclude
with the white-winged sangel of peace
lowering, with her pinions and tail
feathers all spread, over this gorgeous
spectacle. Would that the drama
could conclude amid the blaze of blue
lights. from the wings. with the con-
vention in grand tableau in the back
ground with beer glasses in hand; and
Peter Flicker and Jim Morse and Dan
and Timothy locked in the embrace
of everlasting affection. near the
fOotlights. with LIE Due waving the
American flag over them.
But history is history.
'And of all sad words of tongue or p.n.
The saddest are these;-it IN ght have been'
l had observed. Mr.. Editor, that
while the members of the convention
We're carousing at the bar, one man
did not participate in the festivities.
That man was the chairman. Charley
Baker. He sat in his place, with his
head down, glowering at the toes Of
his boots, look of fixed and desperate
wrath upon his classical countenance,
a look that foreboded storm and woe
and disaster;a Gorgon look, such as of
old froze the blood of the beholder.
At last he sprang to his feet, pound
ed the counter with boot, and de-
manded the attention Of the conven-
ton. With some difficulty he was at
length heard above the clatter of the
beer glasses and the bursts of Taught
er. The convention quieted down.
"Gentlemen of the convention,
said Charley. Il am glad to~see that
we have at length hit upon one plank
of the platform of principles upon
which we can go to the people.
| (Cheers.) 1t meets with my hearty
approval. Great cheers.) ! may say
that my whole life has been devoted
to the elucidation of that great .,rin-
ciple. applause and cries of ''that's S
so, Charley.') But, gentlemen, let
us examine that, resolution: 1t says,
''our side must have the county Off
ces." Very good. We are all agreed
upon that proposition. Applause.
But which ones of our side are t.
have those offices That the ques
ton (Sensation.) When that reso
luton was adopted each one of you
gave it a personal application. Hope
entered into yonr sad hearts and i'm
agination ratified around in your emp
ty pockets. Each one Of yOn fancied
that already his head was buried tt
the ears in the public trough, drink
ing in the delightful pap found only
in that popular receptacle
Here every man in the crowd licked
his lips and drew in his breath with ;
sucking sound. and as they all did il
together the combined report fille(
the store with a noise like the bur
sting of water-main.1
"But what good is that resolution
to you or me. The county Offices ar
fiied far twO years to GOMEZ We can,
, even get a smell at the pap. (Grea
, sensation.) And where will we be al
! the end Of two years! ! don't NEAR
spiritually; for Beeeher has PROFOUND
ed theory, and Emery has endorsed
: it, which brings blissful calm to al
our bosoms." Cheers: .'Hurrah TO
Beecher." cried the weak-mindet
, man, II mean what will be ou
financial condition.
Busted !" shrieked John Byers.
: Precisely" continued Charley
. .sthe wise policy Of the Republican
! party is smashing up every body, t.
| preserve our credit in Europe
Oh Europe" growled Lowell
"And now, gentlemen" continued
t Charley, cit makes my blood run COLI
t to think Of Johnny Newton and Heatl
and Searles and Bailey and Sullivan
, and all the rest of them, rioting in ia
? pastures, while we are shut out t.
, gnaw the fence rails. In fact we ar
: compelled l may say, to winter ol
: straw and brush and rub onr infected
3 hides, SO t. speak. ag sinst the burr
t oaks Of private life; while they ar,
E lnxnriating on chopped oats and clio
, yer hay. Great excitement and ap
planse.)
, "Why should these. gentlemen g
full while we go empty :" (Cries 0
: "that's SOY
"We have smashed one count,
( ring. bnt these men will form anoth
I er. harder to break than the first.
r increasing excitement: and Heath
Newton. Sullivan. etc. began to with
c draw towards the front doOr.)
"It is very easy" continued Char
5 ley, ''for Johnny Newton tn offer
: resolution saying that our side mus
/. have the comfy Offices He alread,
e has one of them. He has got all h
!. wants. But what good is that to 20,
7 and met Well never have one O
them. And for what other purpos
< have we Joined the Peoples party
q tremendous excitement and cries o
ssthat's SOY
y Here there was rush.
s.Lock the front door," sh0ute.
I Charley, 1.-The county officers are try
8 ing to escape"
3 There WAS m upr0ar and In