The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-11-28
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

SENSE AND NONSENSE.
CRATE results-Cinders.
A PARADox-Ag gentleman of no bill
ity.
The best time on record-Lunch
time.
A PREss-GANG-Young ladies after
ferns.
"FALL fashions always send q chill
through an aerOnaut.
IT is beauty's privilege to kill time,
and times privilege to kill beauty.
COLD weather is the troubadour that
brings touch of the light catarrh.
WHEN the people 90 back on man
there is no power else on earth to
which he can appeal.
WHEN banks become unsteady even
the depositor is likely to lose his bal
Chicago Times.
A FELLOW says: Home with q scold-
ing wife and an upset beehive are one
and the same to him, as in either case
he gets tongue more than he wants.
IF politicians had the same amount
of ambition to be honest as the average
small boy has to become a curve pitch
safe.-Falliag Leaves.
"LOvE is blind" and that's the rea-
son why it can get along with one small
hand-lamp, turned down as low as it
will 90, as we'll as under blazing
chandelier of fifty burners.
SINCE the suicide of Richard Realf,
hispoetry is extensively copied. Where
upon the NOrristown Herald observes
that Unappreciated poets will please
take notice, and act accordingly"
HER name. you know, was Nettie; her face and
Her Louisiana lover said she was his only pet;
They loved to desperation, but lhis parting in
Was. Meet me ON Sunday evening at the
point y the bayou Net."-UtscG O6serrsr.
A SEWING MACHINE AGENT, who was
very ill, being told that he must prepare
to pay the debt of Nature, wanted to
know it it couldn't be paid on the
monthly-insSsllment plan Cincinnati
Breakfast Table.
EDITORS are generally poorly off for
clothing. When you hear of one of
them having two suits, you can c&lcu-
late that one is the suit he wears every
day and Sundays, too, and the other is
a libel suit.-ROme Sentinel.
SHE was noodle and he was moo
die, and when their marriage was an
nOunced, Simmons, who knew and APP
preciated them both, exclaimed, with
tears in his eyes:
Two souls without single thought
-NOrristoaUn Herald.
The Medical Societies of Charleston,
S. c., and of Shelby County, Ala, de-
clare the quarantine system 'incon-
sistent with the most generally received
views of the origin and propagation of
yellow fever, and opposed to the hu-
manity of the age"
KISSING the baby may result in de-
forming its nose or bringing on near
sightedness. The safest plan is not to
kiss baby of the feminine persuasion
until it attains the age of sixteen years.
The cartilage of the nose is much
stronger then.-Burlington Hauk-Eye.
"JoHNNY," said a sporting Third
Ward father, "Johnny. what have YOU
got in your fist?' 1.-Two pears" saio
Johnny. GOOD hand" said the alb
sent-mjnded parent; stake the pot"
Then he b'ushed, and pointing to a
brass kettle, he added, "to your moth
er."-M. o. Times.
Few people outside of newspaper
office can conceive of the trials and
yexations of the editorial profes sion.
Just as you had 60. all ready to write
an original article, the scissors turn up
missing; and when you do find them,
ten chances to one they are as dull as a
hoe.-Boston Transcript.
AS THE happy couple were leaving
the church the husband said to the
partner of his welded life: Marriage
must seem a dreadful thing to you;
why you were all of a tremble, and one
could hardly hear you say l will
81 will have more courage and say it
louder next time" said the blushing
bride.
YES, times are hard, and we must
economize; but how seldom a man has
time to realize that a $50 overcoat
costs more than 500 worth of pew-rent
and S15 duck of bonnet put together.
This is the reason why he never growls
so much about the overcoat as he does
over the other items in the bill.--B,sr-
lingt0n Hasck-Eye.
The COstrier-Jotsrnaps definition of
vagrant is "an impecunious cuss,
born tired, to whom labor not involv-
ing the nocturnal depopulation of q
hen house is an untried experiment,
and money mere myth, and who,
with an incurable mania for doing
nothing, always has nothing to do, but
does nothing, being too lazy to do even
that"
"MY darling," says MIR. Sadrake,
who has been ostensibly duck-shooting
at San Mateo all the day and night pre-
vious, "did the office boy bring you
those ducks l shot, as I told himP"
"No, sir, he did not" replied Mrs. S.,
in an icy and appalling manner; "but
the butchers boy has been here to say
that, as he cannot fill your order for
wild ducks to-day, he sends you half
dozen tame ones instead Tableau.-
San Francisco NesOs Letter.
GREAT are the virtues of the jury
trial as illustrated by the case in our
Justice Court last week. The amount
in controversy was 81. To adjust the
matter it required the drawing Of fifty
three jurors, the administration of
nearly one hundred oaths, the windage
of four lawyers, the services of five Con-
stables, the consumption of three
whole days and portion of three
nights, the taking of fifty or sixty pages
of testimony, and all this to reach the
cOnc1usion-no c.uSp Of action Gnr.
MaQe IN. W Republican.
william Janus.