The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-12-19
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

tignte the method of preventing the introduce
ton and spread of epidemic diseases"
SENSE AND NONSENSE.
HEADQUARTERS: Apillow. 5. -
RUNAWAY TEAM: An clipping couple.
NOAH, was mon-ark of all he sur
veyed. -
ATTENDING a bawl: Winding the ba-
by's cry. -.+.....E
WHEN gamblers fail to agree, they
pour Hoyle on the troubled waters. :.
REPORTS of epidemics are printed in
large letters, so that he who reads may
run.
= In furnishing . house the most hat
racktive furniture should be placed in
the hall.
ONE active tongue can keep two ears
full all the time and only feel that it is
taking healthy exercise. -3fS.
THE rich widow who inherited her
property from her husband attended
his funeral in real estate conveyance.
A THICK crust over two or three thin
birds makes pie that does not pan out
well. It is much q dough about moth.
ing.
AN Atlanta ga. physician urges the
Legislature to restrict the sale of opium
and choral, the widespread use of
which is doing irreparable harm.
A FARMER in Stanton, Va, possess
ses q valuable breed of ducks which
can be taken to q distance of forty
miles and sold and will next morning
be found at home.
One half of the misery Of human life
comes from the imagination, and half
of the other half may be overcome by a
strong will, and the whole of it by
faith.-N. y Herald.
A COURTLY negro recently sent q
reply to an invitation, in which he
" regretted that circumstances repug-
nant to the requiescence would prevent
his acceptance of the invite.'
REMEMBER, now" said bride II
the altar, "we have separated and been
remarked four times, and about once
more will convince me that we can
never live happily together"
some Of our exchanges are printing
long articles about wax-producing
trees. But, strangely enough, they
omit to mention the birch, which has
produced more whacks than any other
variety.-Boston Transcript.
The wise man who writeth for in.
formation to another for his own be-
hoof, incloseth a postage stamp for re-
ply, and is informed; but the fool dis
cerneth not the value of a Govern.
mental adhesive plaster, and remain
eth in ignorance.-Ronse Sentinel.
IT will aid the reader in understand
ing affairs in Afghanistan to bear in
mind that stan signifies country, and
dagh rnountain-thus Daghestan is a
country of mountains. In India paten,
means garden, and Seringpatem q
garden of seringas.-Wisconsin Jour-
nal. 2"'
WHEN Johnny was questioned as to
why his engagement with Miss H. had
been broken of, he rolled his eyes,
looked very much panied, and groaned.
"Oh! she turned out a deceiver. But
he forgot to mention that he was the
deceiver whom she had turned out
Puck. s
"NEvER kiss . young girl if she
doesn't want you to- says an article
on the ''Art of Kissing" But pretty
often when q girl says she doesn't want
you to kiss her is the very time she
does want you to; and you'd better
take the benefit Of the doubt. Norris.
t0sUss Herald.
A WHITEHALL youngster had Just
been given dose of salts and SIENNA,
which he took against his will. 81
wish that old Mrs. Lot had never
looked back" he exclaimed, making
up wry faces, "Why?" asked his moth.
-er. because then there'd never been
any such thing IS salt and sinner to
bother us little boys with,'' was his re.
Whitehall Times.
THE price of a wife among the Sioux
Indians is twenty ponies. And when
the young brave has won the girl and
got her fathers consent, at ruling rates,
and the only thing that remains is to
plank down the ponies, he sits down
and sometimes occupies nearly q whole
night, thinking whether he had bette,
steal the ponies from his own father OF
the girls. He generally steals them
from his prospective father-in-law.-
Darlington Hasck-Eye, - u1...e.
A NORWICH restsurateur called upon
. marketman. and imparting to him
the secret that he kept . boarding.
house, asked him to pick out the two
toughest fowls in his assortment. The
dealer sorted over the pile, and select
ing two sufficiently emaciated- birds,
handed them out with . chuckle and
the remark: There, guess those'll
do for an india-rubber gullet.'.' "All
right" said the customer with satan.
ic grin, Il guess I'll take the others,
You can hang those two up" Thu
dealer hung them up with . saddened
air.-Nor,0sch BMlLefjn.
EARLY in the fftee nth century . band
Of Highland robbers, headed by ON,
Macdonald, Of Rose, having taker
two COWS from poor woman, she
vowed that she would wear no shoe.
till she had complained to the King
The savages, in rldicule of her oath
nailed horsesh0es to the svles Ut hel
feet. When her wounds were healed
she proceeded to the Royal presence
told her story and showed her scars
The Just Monarch INSTANTLY dispatched
an sfmed force to secure Mach Donald
who was brought to Perth along will
twelve Of his associates. The Kins
caused them all to be shod in the same
manner - they had done by the poo
woman; and after they had been fol
three days exhibited through the street.
! Of the town a. public spectacle Mac
Donald was beheaded and his compan
ions hung.
The total receipts of the principa
Paris theaters during the Exhibition o
1867 were 81, 700, 900. The receipts O
the same, theaters during the presen
Exhibition were %, $4,000.