The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1878-09-25

"Then I'll know tits my Emperor riding by!
The sabres ring sharply that tend him;
And out from my grave full armed spring I,
The Emperor! will defend him!'
Theodore Martini in Blaekmood
HISTORICAL HOAXES. ~
some OF the Practical Jokes That Have
Passed into History.
Brooklyn Eagle. ~
The degree OF humor which people
whose humor is abnormally developed
can extract from hoaxes and practical
jokes IS a perpetual puzzle to staid and
steady people. 1t is a cruel sort Of hum
or, which finds its keenest pleasure in
rendering other people uncomfortable
and unhappy. No matter how much the
victim Of the joke may suffer, mentally
or physically, the professional hoaxer
must and will have his joke, and
this he will have reckless Of all consul
quences. A. present Senator of this State
from one of the country districts was the
unintentional cause of a divorce He
had friend who was confirmed joker
They were both lawyers and met at GER
tain times of the year in various cities of
their judicial districts when travelling the
circuit. The Senator had often been the
victim of his friend, and waited patiently
the opportunity to have his revenge.
One day as the Senator entered the din
ing room of hotel in Herkimer County
he saw his humorous 11iend sitting a. a
table engaged in close conversation with
lady. He advanced to speak to him.
The friend. seeing him, arose and greet
ing him turned to the lady and said ::
MY dear, this is my friend, Jud ge-.
OF whom you have heard me speak
Judge, my wife, H.,
The Senator bowed and then Stared
with SURPRISE
"Your wife?" he inquired in puzzled
tone. IT,. r-a.
~ ''Yes, my wife," replied his friend.
"Oh, no." was the Senator's reply.
"That will not do. This is not the lad IL
you in Introduced as your wife last term at
Otsego County. This lady is dark, your
wife is light. Oh, no; that won't do, None
of your jokes upon me-"
with that he turned away, leaving the
wife dumbfounded and angry, and the
professional joker for once nonplnssed.
The Senator told the story, and every
where the joker was laughed at as the
joke WAS continued. His wife demanded
an explanation. He tried to assert that it
was but joke Of the Judges. but the
Judge wouldn't say SO; on the contrary
he PERSISTED in his statement, which was
confirmed by the other lawyer spresent, all
OF whom were now oh. aiming a revenge
The wife believed not her husband, but
his friends, and could not be persuaded
but that her husband had been unfaith-
tul to his marriage Vows. The result was
jealousy, pickering and quarrelinz, which
eventuated III divorce. This was severe
punishment, and successfully cured the
divorced man of practical joking.
1t was Lord Norbury OF England who
made one OF best witticisms ever made
from the bench at the expense of the
prisoner. It was at the time when rob-
berry was punished by hanging He was
sentencing to death thief who had stolen
q watch. "You made a grasp at time, nv
lad, but you clutchod eternitv'' .t
For cheeky defense when :" caught in
the act" commend US to this story of a
Partisan thief at the steeple-chases, who
was caught by a detective with his hand
in lady's pocket. Il am no theft the
pickpocket Indignantly protested; II am
in love with this lady, and was only SLIP
ping note In her pocket" and he pro-
duced in proof a love letter hidden in the
palm of his hand. However, the lady
WIS old and ugly, and forty-two purses
were found on the ingenious Frenchman
An American pickpocket, caught on
Third-avenue car with his hand in gen
tleman's watch-pocket, laconicaily and
srnllinglY said: Excuse me, sir"
HOW POLICEMEN HAVE BEEN FOOLED.
Nothing probs bly, gives more delight
to the criminal heart than. by means O.
some trick, to get square" with police
man. Some few years ago there was al
old Constable in Ocean County, N. J.
who prided himself greatly on his g de
pertinent" He wished to be considered
as he really was, a very polite man.
Well-known New York thief being il
custody was taken to Court where the 20
lite old Constable stood guard at the enc
Of the bench in which the criminals hal
been ushered, and in which there hap
pened to be, ut the time, two or thre,
persons who were merely spectators. TIL,
New Il Yorker r saw at a glance the weak
ness OF the old Constable, and at mo
ment when business was at its heigh
said politely to the officer: Excuse me
sir, will you allow me to pass? I see m,
brother, the other witness. at the door.
50 cooley was this said, and so politel,
too, that "old Department" as he wa
called, did not for moment doubt tina
. all was right, and that the speaker wa
one OF the spectators. The man who So,
his s'brother'' at the door made for th
opening as rapidly as consistency woul
permit, and was never seen in those part
again.
Some months ago the New York par