The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-10-02
"HIM an ms SON DAN.

A couple of youngsters on country-court
day, in one of the upper counties of Kentucky
were amusing an idle crowd by going through
the motions of horse trade.
They were, at least, up in the slang of the
business. If not adopts in its finer and more
artistic features and their dexterity in sling.
ing chat called forth repeated bursts of adj
miring laughter.
Pshaw !" growled Uncle Dick Wamble,
with look of ill-dsguised contempt q You
young ones is mighty handy at sassin, but
you don't know no more about hoss'n a pair
o. inherent cheryubs with no legs to strad-
die a critter with"
Uncle Dick heaved sigh, and paused.
G Fact is" he continued, "weve sunk back
inter the dark ages in sech matters ever sence
old Bob Hummock- him an his son Dam
left these parts.
" Why, what of them2n inquired a by
stander, by way of drawing Uncle Dick out.
" Yer didn't know Ole Bob--him an his
son Dan-did yer !" said Uncle Dick, pity
ingly.
The bystander admitted he didn't.
thought so," returned Uncle Dick, cor
else you wouldn't "a axed sech question.
Why, do you know what Ole Bob done
wunst to"
OF course they didn't.
:" Til tell you" said Uncle Dick. A steam
boat bowed up one day with load o. bosses
aboard, an one of 'em lit on Ole Bob's land,
which, of course, vested the title in him--at
any rate, the late owner ben' among the miss
in, there want nobody to dispute Ole Bob's
claim. The boss was leetle the wurst for
the wear But Old Bob patched i'm up with
ingy rubber year, glass eye, an his wife's
waterfall for a tail, an sold him for hun
bred dollars -
A youth in a linsey warmus laughed out
but he stopped short at look from Uncle
Dick
" The fellow who paid the hundred dollars
brought suit agin Ole Bob," continued Uncle
Dick i" but him an his lawyer got laughed
out % court in no time You see, twas a rule
o. law in them days at all was fair in a boss
trade, and juries was judges of the law as
well as the facs."
Squire Cryke and Squire Jollygood ex-
changed mods, as much az to say
And a very wholesome rule 1t was"
" But Ole Bob met with his match at last"
said Uncle Dick.
"Indeed who was it?"
" His son DAM" said Uncle Dick, placidly
can him when he was only boy"
"Tell us about it.'
Uncle Dick complied.
cole Bob Hammock had an antyquated
white boss. He'd been iurn gray In his
youth, but aged turned him as white as
sheep. He looked like pattryarch O. the
pastors, and eft ed been allowed to give a
boss Scripter name, he mought ben called
Methoos'er.
"Well, one day Ole Bob-him an his son
Dan-took Ole Whitley out an shearod 'im
and shampooed i'm, an filed down his teeth,
till he looked as young 3 a colt.
a. What dye think of i'm now ? > says Ole
Bob.
"' l think he'll do, says Dan.
60 I'll tell you what I'll do says Ole Bob,
thar's nothing like encouraging boy now,
Dan, eff you'll take Ole Whitley over to the
lection to-morrer, and make good trade of
him, I'll give you a moo suit o. close
" Thar warn't much risk in the Offer Ole
Whitley, though well-preserved critter, hev'-
in led reg lar life couldn't, in the cours O.
nature, expect to be long for this world.
g 90 Done = says Dan. You see Dan was
courtin' girl, and had strong hankering to
shine out in a moo suit. reva
$50 next morning 'arly, Dan kissed his
mother, mounted Old Whitley, and rid off.
'.Late in the evening he returned atop of
critter as black as a coal, and called his father
proudly to the gate.
"ole Bob obeyed.
Jest lookce thar !" says Dan, patting
Blackey on the neck.
As Ole Bob stcpt forrid, tho boss greeted
i'm with a perlite Wicker.