The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1878-03-14

Our vosee 4 music when We speak,
WitA gentle words to grace it,
AARK EWAins0 RlDSF LITR1A.
ny vENrURE.
Twas . very smart child at the age
Of thirteen-an unusually smart child,
thought At the time. II was then
that did my first Newspaper scrib-
bling, and mest unexpectedly to me 1t
stirred up . flne sensation in the
community. II did indeed, and 1 was
very proud Of it, too. was q printer's
sdevil, and progressive and aspiring
one. Ny uncle had me on his paper,
(the Weekly Hannibal Journal, two
dollars I year in advance-five hun
dred Subscribers, and they paid in
cord-wood, cabbage, and unsaleable
turnips). and on lucky summers day
he len town 70 be gone a week, and
asked me il thought I could edit one
issue Of the paper judiciously. All.
didn't I want to tryl Hinton was the
editor Of the rival paper. He had
lately been Tilted, and one night a
friend found an open note on the poor
fellows bed, in which he stated he
could NO longer endure life and had
drowned himself in Bear Greek. The
friend ran down there and found HIM
ton wading back to shorel He had
concluded he wouldn't. The village
was full Of Il for several days, hut
Hinton did not suspect it. I thought
this was flne opportunity. I wrote
IN elaborstely wretched account Of the
whole matter, and then illustrated it
with villainous cuts engraved on the
bottoms of wood type with jack
knife-one Of them picture of Hin
ton wading ost into the creek in his
shirt, with . lantern, sounding the
depth Of the water with . walking
stick. thought 1t was desperately
funny, and was denselX unconscious
that there was any moral obliquity
about suehls publication. Being sat-
isAed with this effort I looked around
for other. worlds to conquer, and It
struck me that il would make good,
Interesting matter to charge the editor
of . neighboring country paper with
. piece of grataitous rascality and see
him squirn r ! did it. putting the ar
ticle into. the form Of . parody on the
Burial of Sir John Moore q
pretty crude parody it was, too. Then
I lampooned two prominent citizens
outrageously-not because they had
done anything to deserve it, but mere. |
ly because 1 thought it was my duty
to make the paper lively. Next
gently touched mp the newest stranger
the lion of the day, the gorgeous |
tailor from Quincy. He
was . simpering coxcomb of the first
water and the sloudest' dressed man |
in the State. He was an iDveterate |
woman killer. Every week he wrote |
lushy poety for the Journal about |
his newest conquest.( His rhymes for |
my week were headed ITO Mary in
HI, meaning to Mary in Hannibal,
of course Bot while setting up the
piece 1 was suddenly riven from head
to heel by what regarded as q perfect
of hnmor, and compress
ed it into snappy foot-nOte at the
thus: We will let this thing
pass, just this once, but we wish Mr..
J. Gordon Runnels to understand dis
tinctly that we have character to
sustain, and from this time forth when
he wants to commune with his friends
in hell he must select some other me-
dunn than the columns of the Jour
nal.'
The paper came ont, and I never
knew any little thing to attract so
much attention as those playful trifles
of mine. For once the Hannibal
Journal was in demands novelty it
had not experienced before. The
whole town was stirred. Hinton
dropped in with q double-barreled
shotgun early in The forenoon. When
he found that 1t was An infant Gas he
called me) that had done him the dam
age. he simply pulled my esrs and
went away but he threw up his situ-
atlon that night, and left town for
good. The tailor came with his goose
and pair of sheers but he despised
me, too, and departed for the South
that night. The two lsmpooned citi-
zens came with threats of libel, and
went awsy incensed ct my insignifi-
cance. The country editor pranced in
with . wsr-whoop next day, suffering
for blood to drink but he ended by
me cordially, and inviting
me down to the drug store to wash
away all feelings of animosity in
bumper of 'Fahnstock's Ver.
mifuge.' That was his little joke.
Ny uncle was very angry when he
got back-unreasonably SO, thought,
what an impetus 1 had
given the paper, and considering also
that gratitude for his preservation
ought TO have been uppermost in his
mind, inasmuch a. by his delay he had
10 wonderfully escaped dissection,
libel, and getting his
head shot of. But he softened when he
looked at the accounts and saw that
had actually booked the unparalleled
number Of thirty-three new subscrib-
srs, and had the vegetables to show
for it-cord-wood, cabbage, beans, and
turnips-enough to run the
family for two years!
WHERE HELL IS.
81 wish to ask you question:" said
Mr.. Shary to our young minister, as he