The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1878-06-14
WIT AND HUMOR.

The more suits at law, the less suits
go on your back.
IT is said that an Indian often makes
an arrow escape.
AURORA BoREALIs is the pole light way
OF pronouncing it.
What does a man see in the wild, wild
waves? Sea foam.
THE common railroad gauge nova
days Id the mortgage.
WHAT poet is least distinguished for
brevity? Longfellow.
If twenty grains make scruple, how
many will make doubt?
ONE of the latest things out-The do
nestle candle, if you have no gas.
We notice that the bankrupt hosiery
dealers have very small stock-in trade.
WANTED to know-What sort of i'm
plement does man use when he cud-
gels his brains?
THE canadian Boat Song" is thought
by some to be an unfinished production,
because it's crew-ditty.
The woman's literary club may be all
very well in its way, but the women
ought to depend mainly on the old-fash-
Toned fat-iron and rolling-pin.
A CHIEF in Africa has 800 wives, whose
clothing does not cost him 3 cents a
year-which is supposed to be the big
gest clothes-lyin on the globe.
BANKERS generally roll their hard
money in paper, and make it look like
80 many spools. We rolled our hard
money up the other day, and it looked
like button. 3ats
BEG pardon for stepping on your
train, said fop at ball; then added,
"you ought to have had COW catcher
on it." and would have caught a
calf, said the lady.
A WAC, upon visiting a medical mu-
scum, was shown some dwarfs and speci-
mems of mortality all preserved in alco-
hol. "Well, said he, "Inever thought
the dead could be in such spirits"
A CHRONIC growler, who lived in
boarding house, kept the lsndlady in
state of torment all through the holi-
days by always remarking, at meal
time, Things are getting tough, tell
you"
"HEY, Tommy" said a 5-year old
urchin to another in the street, "we've
moved into a house they call flats, n yer
don't have ter go up stairs but ride up
in the ventilator, n mother sends all the
washin' to the foundry"
A NEWLY married gentleman of Mrs.
J.'s acquaintance on being asked the
other day, "What was the difference
between bride and bridegroom ?" i'm
mediately replied, why, one is given
away and the other is sold."
GILL tell you how it was" said Mr..
Bareimeyer, dolefuly. "When 1 went
into partnership with that Teller Skin
mem had the money, and he had the
experience, but when we quit he had
the money and I had the experience.
"NEvER marry for wealth." says q
contemporary, "but remember that it is
just as easy to love girl who has brick
house with Mansard roof and silver
plated door as one who hasn't any
thing but an auburn head and an amiable
disposition.
"ALwAYs leave door the way you
find it, says an exchange. "The owner
certainly knows best whether he wants it
open or smut" A Fort Wayne man
failed to heed the advice and now he
will have to guess at the taste of straw
berry shortcake for the next three years.
He found door closed one night. and
opened it with a crowbar. fast
Table.
THE 5-year-old son of family the
other day stood watching his baby
brother, who was making great noise
over having his face washed The little
fellow at length lost his patience, and,
stamping his tiny foot, said, You
think you have lots of trouble, but you
don't know anything about it. Wait till
you're big enough to get lckin', and
then you'll see-won't he, mamma ?"