New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1878-10-23

put an enemy in their mouths to steal
away their brains!" a stentorian voice
roared from the gallery, CAL right, old
fellow, drink away you're safe.o
CARRIED BY "a LARGE MAJORITY.
He pressed her to his manly breast
She seconded the motion.
His lips on hers he 1ondly pressed,
There was slight connection
I'll put the question now said he,
That you and / be married;
He voted AYE" and aaye" said she
-Decided-vote was carried.
& He was q bachelor, had traveller ex-
tensively, and could speak any language,
dead OF. alive. Hieroglyphics were moth
ing to him. But when he returned home
the other day, and talked to his sisters
baby, and when it cried and was paciied
10y its mother saying, "Did his naughty.
wauty uncle wunkle come honey womey
and scarey warey my little putsey wut-
sey"-he just leaned over the back o: the
chair and wept.
He was an entire stranger to the girls
present, and the boys were mean and
would not introduce him. He finally
plucked up courage, and stepping up to
young lady, requested the pleasure of
her company for the next dance. She
looked at him in surprise, and informed
him she had not the pleasure OF his ac-
quaintance. :. WE'LL" remarked Cazano.
via, you dent take any more chances
than do"
Fact. Lady going along the street
t'other day, 'Maclated boy pathetically
accosts her. "Please, mum, won't yer
gimme penny to buy some bread?
H'aint had nuthin' feat all day. Moth
er's sick and fathea's dead. Please mump'
'Have nothing for you.'' 'Maciated
boy trots feebly along side, tearfully re-
peating his affecting story. LADY gets
tired, says, ssNo, little boy! And don't
want you running after me-" "Humpt
Need't be SO IN stiff about it!'' Lady
turns round and sees 'maciated bow
standing on his hea against a wall
Philadelphia Bulletin.
A minister's lJf has frequent disap
pointments. Dursng the great revival a
stolid, matter-of-taoi farmer went into
the inquiry room, and was at once taken
in hand by anxious and jealous workers.
He seemed to be visibly affected by the
hymn that was sung, and after the prayer
one or two tears were apparently discov-
cred. When asked, Brother, do you feel
any change?' he made rapid and in
stinctive movement of his hand in the
direction of his vest-pocket. and then set
Ting back in his chair with sigh, re-
piled, "Not cent; that's just what I'm
after"
In one our courts little while ago an
old lady was being examined as a wit
ness. To almost every question asked,
the counsel OF tho opposite side would
jump up and say, II object as irrevele-
vant, immaterial and incompetent This
appeared to annoy the old lady, who
seemed inclined to make Il personal mat
ter out of it. Finally the interrogatory
was put, s'Did you see those men in that
field on that day9" "Maybe what 1 saw
wouldn't be evidence" was her answer,
"because saw them through glasses. I
am old and wear spectacles."-Los A7aqe-
les (Caz.) Herald.
The practice of widow retaining her
superior title on her second marriage oc-
casionly leads to awkward mistakes. Not
long ago gentleman who had esposed a
lady with handle to her name was trav-
cling in the north, and entered in the
visitors book at a hotel in Edinburg:
/" Mr.. and the Countess of -
Presently the Ian 1lord asked to see the
gentleman privately, and Oh lis reques-
being gratified, scandalized the unfortu-
nate bridegroom by saying: '.You ken,
sir, am mon of the world like YOUR
self, and dinna you think you had better
just put Mr.. and Mrs., if its only for
the looks of the thing.'
A friend Of mine, a native physician. i
was called in a few days ago by a Turk.
and found him dying of dyspepsia. arts,
ing from torpor of mind and bodV. He
advised him to ride. II don't like rid
ing said the patient. "Then," said the
physician, sspend few hours every m orn
ing in your harem." 81 hate nv arem.
was the answer. s'Then,'' said the phyis
clan, s.count your money few hours, 4
II don't care about money" said the pa
tent "Then." said the physician, chang
yourself, for how can life be endurable to
man who does not care for his horse. or
his wife or his money2"- -Fortniq1stzy Re-
yieU.
= colored brother was telling his young
friend that he oughtro CINE the church.
Sad George, q would, but de tempta-
ton to do wrong is too strong for me.n
"Whars yer backbone, dat ye can't rose
up and stand temptationv' exclaimed
brother Peter. Il was dat way myself
once. Right in dis yere town I had q.
chance to steal par of boots mighty.
fine ones, too. Nobody was dar to see.
me, and reached cut my hand and de.