Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1878-08-08
Antuurpus 4epartmet1t.

before his death, Mr.. Webster started off from
Marsh6eld on trouting expedition to Sand
wich, neighboring town Of Cape Cod. On
approaching the fine stream he aligbted from
his wagon and just then he met the owner o1
the farm through which the stream ran.
"Good-morning," says Webster sis there
any trout here 2" . ..-r.,..o. ....l -. 80
"Well," says the farmer, "some people fish
here, but I don't know what they do get"
"I'll throw my line in," says Webster
"and see what there is" .' .'
Webster walked the banks of the stream
trying his luck, and the old farmer followed
him. Soon Webster remarked: c u3ii NJ
"You have some bog on your farm"
eyes" says the farmer "that amt the
worst of it." .,,r..,.,
Fishing still further along, Webster says
"You seem to have plenty of mosquitoes
here"
"Yes" he replied; "that amt the worst Of
Webster kept throwing his line into the
deep pools, and then said: .. ..
"You have plenty of briers here" .'.
EYES, said the farmer, "that amt the worst
ofit." .l
Mr. Webster getting somewhat discouraged
in hot August day, bitten by mosquitoes,
scratched by briers, and not raising a single
fish, dropped his rod, and said: D, go
II don't believe that there is any trout
here" ..s ...........,.,
eli. "And that amt the worst of it," says the
farmer. .." ..... .sE ~. 81
"Well," says Mr.. Webster, II should like
to know what the worst of it isl? . ~.
"There never was any here! said the far
mer. . .ts go - - .GE1H r-giH
Mr. Webster enjoyed the joke, and often
told it to his particular friends. "." ="
->~>--' .'Et't
HE PREFERRED TO WALK.-"She's pref
ty hot, amt shef" said back-woods passen-
ger of a Mississippi steamer, that was racing
with another boat. ...
"So.so," responded the engineer, as he hung
an additional wrench on the safety valve
cord to prevent the steam from escaping.
II reckon we'll overtake that craft soon,
pursuaded the passenger. ..."..... '..'. ..
"That's about it," returned the engineer,
giving the cords another twitch and hallooing
through the trumpet to the fireman to "shove
her up" "' l.. ..t". - l.
Zone hundred and ninety.fve," hummed
the passenger, looking first at the gauge and
then at the boilers. .i.+
"That's about where she's rusticating," put
in the engineer. .5 ..a r...:.r-r .,s.5l !
Then the passenger ran his fingers through
his hair nervously, and walked about the
deck for few minutes, when he came back
to the engineer and observed Hadn't you
better let that boat 60 p I'D 10 .-,r.i
ca - L. "a Hap
"But s'posen we should. blow up?"N
"Well,pisaid the engineer as he peeped
over the guard to see how fast he was gain
ing, "if it's thewilFof Providence for this boat
to blow up, we'll have to stand it." Then he
hullooed to the fireman to roll up another
cask Of bacon, and to mix plenty of rosin
with the coal and give her little more turpeu-
tine and oil. '+".''. 1859.
The next moment there was splash in
the river; but before the yawl could be
lowered the man had succeeded in reaching
the shore and hallooed out:
$50 on with the race. l guess I'll walk +
A DIPLOMATIC ANswER.-The old man
Smith, of Richfeld, self sufficient sort of old
fellow, and prides himself upon his riding
abilities. One day he espied his young hope
ful leading colt to water rather gingerly,
and remarked:
"Why on earth don't you ride that beast ?"
"I'm 'fraid to 'fraid he'll throw me-"
Bring that hoss here;' snapped the Old man:
The colt was urged up to the fence, and
braced on one side by the boy while the
old man climbed on the rails and stocked
himself on the colts back. Then he was: let
90, and the old gentleman rode proudly of.
Paralyzed by fear the colt went slowly about
twenty rods without demonstration. Then
like lightning his four legs punched together,
his back bowed like a viaduct arch and the
old man shot up in the air, turned seven sep
arate and distinct somersaults and lit on the
small of his back in the middle of the road,
with both legs twisted round his neck. Hast
ening to him the young hopeful anxiously
inquired: ., -
"Did it hurt you, pa?" E!ti2e
The old man rose slowly, shook out the
knots in his legs, brushed the dust from his
ears and hair, and, rubbing his bruised el-
bows growled -
"Well, it didn't do me dunn bit of good.
You 90 home" Cleveland Herald.
AN UNFAILING SIGN.-"What makes you
think they're engaged, Mrs. Berkeley?" ask
ed the nei ghbor. "Has Julia's mother ever
intimated it to youf
90, dear, gracious, no! She never so much
as hinted at it," replied Mrs. Berkeley.
"Then what makes you think it's all settled
between them? 1t amt over three months
since be commenced waiting on her,"
"That don't make any diference-they've
known each other for two or three years.
She's as likely girl as any-not bad-look'
ing-and he's" ~
"Yes-yes; all true enough. But what
makes you think they're engaged! That Is
what puzzles me-" >,
"Why, la, bless you, I know it as we'll as if
I'd heard the bargain with my own ears"
"Go on-go on"
"Yes; as I was saying, last Sunday after
noon my Martha met 'em out walkin' togeth-
er, and stopped to chat with 'em minute.
AS soon as she got home and told me they
had both been eating onions l knew it was
all arranged, and 1 shan't be bit surprised
to hear any day that the cards are out for a
speedy wedding A sign like that never fails" "
A BEAUTY.-"Isn't it lovely y?' A dry
goods clerk on Main street was showing a
lady some parasols yesterday. This clerk
has a good command of language, and knows
how to expatiate on the good qualities and
show the best points of goods. Picking up
a parascl from the lot on the counter, and
oneoinp it. he struck an attitude of admira-