Mexico weekly ledger., 1878-03-28
WUNDCHTED
ADVENTURES OF A BOOK
AGENT.

Written especially for the Mexico
LEDGER.
For those who would be informed
concerning the miseries and martyr
dom incident to the life of q book
agent, | append the following:
You must understand | was about
twenty-five years old, and although
| had never been beyond the limits
of my native county, and had never
heard of any place besides Higgins
vile, in viewing that grand metropo-
lis fancied | behcld the sum-total,
of this universe, and that the world
couldn't contain more than II city
of its colossal magnitude. | was
piously %''bronght up" (kept down l
mean under my mothers thumb,
and although l never dared to make
an assertion-to any effect. J. must
confess that | was not altogether free
from the absurd and suppressed
thought Of accommodating Il fortune
to buy q controlling share in the
world. | was not long denied the
opportunity, having met with a
weekly journal published in an un-
heard of place called s.. Louis; which
contained an advertisement Il fac
simiIc of which | insert.
Wanted-Men and women to sell the
most popular book extant agents are
getting rich at it. There's millions III
it. Write at once for territory and
outfit. Now talk ola provincial green
horn W~ithstanding such as tnat -
| wrote Immediately figured up all
the names and members the fellow
requested on the adverse of the Ell,
yclopc and devoted the remaining
space TO the praises,-in hastc,-rusl
it through,-devil of a hurry &c
My letter in reply TO his advertise.
ment run substantially AS follows
Nj deer bcluvid-, ! herd from
yu Il fu aais a@0c An am glaid too
kno yu ar still wei an abel tn mail
yorcself knonc. | waunt tn be wuI
NV yore amyabel Agints. Doan
furgit tn rite sumo. Thees Teller:
down hear ar bcginnin toe lax durtl
an onry alfredo. Sind thee preambi
an hi iaus poast haist on Il fresh hos
Hous al the childrun. Did yorc wi
keen the mczcls laist winter whii
tina WIS so bad in IIigginsvIl.c. Hi.
the baibbiey fur me. Gud 9i.
Z. ). DOant furgit tn sind the ter
ryt0ry.
| will surprise you when say he al
swercd it; however ho did, butin III,
most stiff and stuck up manner con
ccivable. Didn't ev,n inquire aftc
the health of my good cd grand
mother who had been laid up for 81,
weeks with bilious intermittan
fever.
Simply sail, enclosed find outii
and terms. Go to work. This wa
incorrigiblc. could't afford TO sui
fer such n snarlish aflrout on III
dawn of my wealth and consequent
IL | set to task to find that sore head
ed impudent scoundrcl and give hin
a severe pounding, but after wan
dcriug around OH foot for three day
and nights until L was nearly starV
ell to death | concluded St. Louis wa
the hardest place to see that l eve
had any occasion to look after. Sat
listed with drowning my wrath Il
oaths and invcCtiYcs | rGtreated I
Higginsville and began my are a
a book agent.
As | emerged into that city my al
teution was first attracted by a tai
muscular, freckled faced female, cI
gagged in wrenching u bcd-tick, an
fancying her a prime object of exper
mcnt in my unused capacity, | al
preached her with these words. Goo
morning, my lady, how arc the chi
dren to-day? Oh, It's the chi.dre
ye inquire afther! No ma'am, / wis
to sell you this elegant bound an
| beautifully illus--OCh! a Duke, IN
what in the devil do yO suppose
want wild yer almarnic? Take to I'll
commons Immediately or I'll harro'
; yer back wild this dripping bed-ticl
!. But can't | sell you a copy Of
l A buke, and We think yen arguy II
into Il buke, hey? and with this 81
/ warped the saturated fabric abol
S my neck in such a manner that in.
!, dash to discntangle myself, | info
f tunatelv plunged into a hole in
= reserved for inserting straw. 81
recognized my blunder immediate
= and began a series of yolls and inca
I tations and dragged rae about Il
yard at a break-skull speed, until
: was favored with a chance to escal
4 impoverished, leaving her shoutil
d and stamping after the fashion of
Ashantee ''hoe-down." / did not /
turn to this portion of town until t
= extreme moments OF career in Hi
~ginsville, when | cautiously slipp,
e near the fence and shouted throu
II a knot hole and inquired ''if s
wanted a book" l heard her hea
h ing calumny and eternal damnati
on my soul after | had gone six mi
re out of town.
n After this | added caution to ]
;, articles of conduct and approach
a mild and unprctentiou3 looki
house, rapbed very modestly on
= door and poking my hands into
pockets with all innocence, quie
awaited results, but when | heard
key grating in the Lock, witness
y. the door noislessly open about t
Mt inches, saw the muzzic of q dou