St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1878-09-06
Some curiosities in Letter writing.

Characteristic letters are always read
with interest, and frequently with much
amusement, by the students of human
nature; and the following specimen will
we think, repay perusal. The first we
find in the Halleian Miscellany, and is a
private letter sent from one Quaker to
another" 1t is quantity prefaced thus {:
1.-The following letter (Which was really
sent from country Quaker to his friend
III LondOn,) here publish, not with
design to reflect on the Quakers, but
that the reader may see am so impair
tlal that | will insert every thing wrote
by Churchmen, Presbyterians, or Qua
kers, ETC., that L think deserves it."
FRIEND JOHN desire thee to be so
kind as to go to one of those sinful men
in the flesh called an attorney, and let
him take out an instrument, with seal
fixed thereuntO; by means whereof we
may sieze the outward tabernacle of
George Green, and bring him before
the lambskins men at Westminster. and
teach him to do as he would be done by :;
and so rest thy friend in the light.
MIG.
In SetOn's Gossip from Letters and
Letterwriters, he says: "About three
years ago, happened to come across a
very solicitOus epistle from "a Midlothi-
an farm-servant to a well known pho
tOgrapher in the Scottish metropolis.n
1t is as follows:
M-MAINs, Abriel Goth '65.
MR.. A-DARE SIR write to you
in order to see if you are going to send
my cards devlsit or not for there is kno
excuse for dull whether this mounth
back for it has been good whether for
other People getting there's down so if
you intend to get my wOnes reddy send
them to me as quickly as possible for
have looked for them this last mOunth
or if you don't send my cards YOU must
send the money for have waited till
can waite no longer and if you don't
send eathere the one or the other i.
(Then follows full stop) so will look
for Il ansure this week so close and re-
main yonr truelay JOHN M.
1t has been said that the pith of a
lady's letter is in the postscript, and as
an illustration of this, Mr.. Seton tells
us that young lady having gone out
to India, and writing home to her
friends concluded with the following
words: "P. S.-You will see by nv
signature that ] am married." That
the same may sometimes be said of a
gentleman's letter is proved by the sub
joined, said to have been sent to the
late Bishop of Norwich, DIR. s., in
answer to an invitation given by him.
Mr.. O-'s private affairs turn out
so badly that he cannot have the pleas
ure OF waiting upon his lordship at his
agreeable house on Monday next. N. B.
His wife is dead
Here are one or two specimens of la
come epistles given by Mr.. Seton:
MY DEAR DORSET have just been
married, and am the happiest dog alive.
(signeO BERKELEY.
Answer:
My DEAR BERKELEY-Every dog has
MS day! (Slgned) DORSET.
A young man when at college ad-
dressed his uncle, on whose liberality
he entirely depended, as follows:
My DEAR UNCLE = Ready for the
needful-YOur affectiouate Nephew.
TO which the uncle replied:
MY DEAR NEPHEw-The needful is
not ready-YOur affectionate Uncle.
Mr.. Seton gives love letter written |
by French sculptor, who went out of |
his mind for love of the young but cru
ell widow to whom it was addressed. |
but who only looked upon it as witty
joke.
DIVINE PEBBLE-Were you not hard |
er than porphyry or agate, the chisel
Of my love guided by the mallet of nv
fidelity, would have made some impress
sion upon you. l, who have given ev-
cry form to the toughest materials, had
hoped that with the compass of reason,
the saw of consistency, the firm file of
friendship, and the polish of my words,
should have made of you one of the
prettiest statues in the world. But
alas you are but an insensible stone i:
and yet you fire my soul, yourself re-
cold us marble. Have pity on
me. | no longer know what 1 say or do.
When have dragon to sculpture, it is
Cupid that rises under my chisel. Dear
column of my hopes, pedestal of NV
happiness, cornice of my JOY, if Won
make me happy, l will raise to YOU
statues and pyramids. Tomorrow |
will call for your answer. AUGUSTA.