Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1878-11-15
Newspaper Fun.
4 R.ln lSE NrleEn.

When came an Md. for % know
" y, y service he could Co
80" criOd the matd (for scared Was she)
DO You Ind Tenn, 10 murder MOS
La said tho doctor. = kans save
You from most nnttmely grave,
III YOU Will let mo Oann, your case
And hapg this liver pad IN place"
Am la. fool = the patient cried
~ cannot bel, the brute replied,
hut no ono can To long tinic m. y
Who Tex. patent hlue Mass pill"
"Ark,l" phrieked tho girl, "rll hear no Mo
Your nostrums ART .J.~no go"
-St, 1pWiS ,ouraai
Soldiers living IN barracks are room.
ers of war.--NeW Orleans RcdyuRo.
We've named our cat "Plutaroh be-
cause he's got ~ many lives. ionk,ys
Gu:Gtc.
So. seems that electricity il to 10
mndo light of. It's candle-oss, -N,9p
Haven Register,
Girls, lots of fellows would be glad to
got tho mitten these cold mornings
--Nes Haven Register.
a good many wcll-meaning patriots
seem to think the solution of all dini-
cultics is to be found in resolutions.
Boston Transcript
PA, why do you snill ut each oyster
before you swallow it2n "'ro bo sure
that it is fresh, my doar.' "But, pa,
you'd know il il was il you swallowed il
without shifting ut il"
Philosophers say TINT shutting tho
Dyes makes the sense Of hearing more
acute. a wag says Tint this accounts
Tor the many closed eyes that are to he
seen in church.
There are ten shades Of red this sea.
son in women's toggery and 3i7 shades
of blue about tho husbands and father
who foots the dry goods and millinery
bills, CdtsiiR Recorder.
After all, We are afraid the electric,
light is n failure. No woman has vet
killed herself while trying to kindle tho
fire with quart can Of il in her hand
Philadelphia Chronicle Herald.
The New Orleans Tones says Newport
girls declare that Bennet.'s figure IL like
Tint Of u polo BelyedeIe. For our own
part we take no stock in this absurd
story. These Southern outrages can be-
expected until after the olection---Oa
Cty Derrick.
DO you sny your prayers regularly
every night and morning." asked "A
sympathetic lady OF little shoe.blnck.
to whom she had just given trile. ~
allus sez 'um nj night mum: but any
smart boy can take care Of hissolf in
the daytime was the little roguo's re
ply.
AZ tho happy couple were leaving the
church the husband said 70 tho partner
Of his welded life Marriage must
seem dreadful thing to you; Why, you
were all Of tromble, and one could
hardly hear You say, i will" ~ will
have more courage md say ii louder
next tim, said the blushing bride.
A gentleman in New Orleans was
agreeably surprised 10 find plump
turkey served up for his dinner, and
inquired Of his servant how il was OBJ
tanned. "Why, sir" replied Sambo,
dat turkey has been roostirg on our
fence tree nights. So dis morning |
seize him for tie rent of de fence"
Mother wants you To lot her take
your polonaise pattern, and be so kind
as to fill this cup with yeast, and IL
your clock right, and what time is il,
and little meal IN this pan, and won't
you write down your receipt for rye
mullins, and please not lot your tur-
keys roost on our fence any more,
cause dad says he'll shoot 'em. ."--New
Hduen Register
Is Mr.. Murphy in, Mrs. Murphy
"Yc know he isn't in, Mr.. Rafferty,"
can is he out, Mrs. Murphy "Ye
know he is, Mr.. Rafferty, 7" An are
yc in, Mrs. Murphy Faithl an ye
know am, Mr.. Rafferty," can am
out, Mrs. Murphy" "Yis; an be the
loikes ay ye, ye'll stay there, Mr..
Rafferty, and the door swung 70 with
a bang. - Yonkers Gazette.
The Springfield Republican says that
one seldom sees anything voluptuous
Or ilamboyant, or, on the other hand,
anything blanched and etiolated' among
the Boston girls. Right. But what
you always do see, when you meet
representative Boston girl, is her last
translation Of the DIES IrH clasped in
her right hand, and in her left sonnet
either to Brahma, the 0yersoul, or the
Old South.-dDang Etenin0 Journal.
/ You may wander at your own sweet
will in dreamy listlessness through the
woods, taking in with eager eye the
beauty Of tho golden tints OF the foliage,
and the calm, subducd light Of the orb
Of day AZ 1t comes slanting through the
trees; but inspiring as everything il
around you, you will nevertheless lose
all your interest for the time being
when you receive charge Of buckshot
in your calves, which was evidently in
tended for some other animal--Hock-