The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-06-13
WIT AND HUMOR,

The more suits at law, the less suits
go on your back.
1T is said that an Indian often makes
an arrow escape.
AURORA BoREA11s is the pole light wav
of pronouncing it.
What does man see in the wild wild
waves? Sea foam.
The common railroad gauge nova
days is the mortgage.
WHAT poet is least distinguished for
brevity? Longfellow.
IF twenty grains make a scruple, how
many will make doubt?
ONE of the latest things out-The do
nestle candle, if you have no gas.
We notice that the bankrupt hosiery
dealers have very small stock-in trade.
WANTED to know-What sort of i'm
plement does man use when he cud-
gels his brains?
The " Canadian Boat Song" is thought
by some to be an unfinished production,
because it's crew-ditty.
The woman's literary club may be all
very well in It's way, but the women
ought to depend mainly on the old fash
Toned fat-iron and rolling-pin.
A CHIEF in Africa has 800 wives, whose
clothing does not cost him cents
year-which is supposed to be the big
gest clothes-lyin' on the globe.
BANKERS generally roll their hard
money in paper, and make it look like
so many spools. We rolled our hard
money up the other day, and it looked
Like button.
BEG pardon for stepping on your
train, " said fop at ball; then added,
"you ought to have had COW catcher
on it. " "And [ would have caught a
calf, said the lady.
A WAC, upon visiting medical mu-
seum, was shown some dwarfs and speci-
mems of mortality all preserved in alco-
hol. "Well, said he, "Inever thought
the dead could be in such spirits
A CHRONIC growler, who lived in a
clearinghouse, kept the landlady in
state of torment all through the hoi-
days by always remarking, at meal
time, "Things are getting tough, [ tell
you"
"HEY, Tommy" said a 5-year-old
urchin to another in the street, "we've
moved into house they call flats, n yer
don't have ter go up stairs but ride up
in the ventilator, n mother sends all the
washin' to the foundry"
A NEWLY married gentleman Of Mrs.
Us acquaintance on being asked the
other day, "What was the difference
between bride and bridegroom % i'm
mediately replied, "Why, one is given
away and the other is Sold"
GILL tell you how it was," said Mr..
Bareimeyer, dolefuily. "When I went
into partnership with that teller Skin
mem I had the money, and he had the
experience, but when we quit he had
the money and I had the experience"
"NEvER marry for wealth." says a
contemporary, "but remember that it is
just as easy to love a girl who has brick
house with Mansard roof and silver
plated door-bell as one who hasn't any
thing but an auburn head and an amiable
disposition"
"A1wAYs leave door the way you
find it, says an exchange. "The owner
certainly knows best whether he wants it
open or smut" A Fort Wayne man
failed to heed the advice and now he
will have to guess at the taste of straw
berry shortcake for the next three years.
He found door closed one night. and
opened it with crowbar.-Breakfast
Table.
The 5-year-old son of family the
other day stood watching his baby
brother, who was making great noise
over having his lace washed. The little
fellow at length lost his patience, and,
stamping his tiny foot, said, "You
think you have lots of trouble, but you
don't know anything about it. Wait till
you're big enough to get lickin', and
then you'll see-won't he, mamma %