The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1878-02-14
yexations Of Diplomatic Intercourse.

Minister Comfy, the United states
representative at the Sandwich Islands,
writes as follows to his newspaper, the
Columbus (Ohio) State journal, con-
cerning the irritations of diplomatic in
tercourse:
"Do YOU know what it is to the Min
lister to have man-of-war visit his
postp First, the Admiral sends his
staff officer to report his arrival. Then
they take drink. Then the Minister
runs up his flag, and sends dispatch
to the Minister of Foreign Affairs no.
tifying His Majesty's Government that
the Admiral has arrived, and desires to
salute the flag. Then His Excellency
replies, and sets the time when the Ad-
miral may shoot, and His Majesty's
big guns will be all loaded, ready to re-
ply, gun for gun. Then the lombard
ment takes place. Then the Admiral
calls on the Minister, with his staff and
all their good clothes. Then they all
drink. Then the Minister goes aboard
the man-of-war in his good clothes and
the Admirals yawl. Then they all
drink. When he leaves the vessel,
after being presented arms to, and all
kinds of bother, he gets only about
thirty yards away when his ears are
torn and his head bursted by the big
guns of the vessel firing fifteen-gun
salute. The mariners have their oars
peaked and their eyes on the Minister,
and he is expected to take off his hat
and give horribly a ghastly smile, as if
he really enjoyed the honor of having
his head bursted in this way. Then the
Admiral comes ashore with his staff,
and the Minister takes him to call upon
His MajestX,s Government. We go
first to the Minister of Foreign Affairs,
who tells us when we may have an au-
dience at the Palace to present the Ad-
miral and other officers to His Majesty.
Then we visit the other Ministers, the
Governor of Oahu, the Justices of the
Supreme Court and the Marshal of the
Kingdom; then we take drink. Then
the Admiral invites the Minister to
lunch, and they take drink.
"Next day or so, the Minister takes
the whole party to the palace, and they
are presented in due form to His
Majesty. The Admiral reads little
speech, in which he tells His Majesty
how glad we are to see him, and His
Majesty reads little speech in which
he replies how glad he is to see us.
Then we talk awhile with all the gran
dees, and after backing out of the pres
ence sign our names in little book,
and the Admiral hurries on board the
vessel to get relieved from the pressure
of his sword-belt as soon as possible.
Meantime all the other Excellencies,
representing every country under
Heaven, have been sending notes to the
Minister begging him to name the hap.
py day when it will please the Admiral
to send boat for them to come aboard,
and have salute fred for them. Then
the Frenchman always gets mad be-
cause he did not get as many guns as
he thinks he ought to have had, and the
| Minister has three months correspond
ence on his hands before that is settled.
You think it is all over now? The
trouble is only about to begin. There
are dinners, lunch parties, dances, sere
nades, visits to be paid, and the dickens
to pay if the foreign representatives dc
not receive their return calls before the
week is out.
"Why, it is positive fact, we have
been living since last September within
five miles Of the greatest sight to be
seen in the world almost-the Pail
OF Pari,' precipice 1900 feet high,
over which old Kamehameha drove the
army that opposed him; and to-day il
the first day have found it possible K
90 I'D and see it. That I ran away
i literally IN tha dav before the mai