The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1878-03-14
WHOLE NO. 1903.
Miscellaneous.
Hens arc often SGT in their ways.

tramps will be composed Of Turkish bond
h olders.
We don't believe in miracles bat tho
other day deaf mute was given a hear.
ing before a magistrate.
Tho man who smokes eve cent cigars
and puts ten cents Ia tho contribution
box died long ago.
Women are not born politicians. aud
they can pack a trunk better than they
could a convention.
Uncle Daniel Drew i operating again.
lie admits there ought 10 be more thoo-
logical seminaFica
There are twenty-five stove firms In
Troy. aud each one advcrtisca the bctt
stove in the world"
Louisville has great expectations Of
literary club just started with foriy-hvo
dime novels for library.
Brigham Young has gone 10 great
summer rcaort-irom whose burn no
traveller returns.
George Washington wasn't always hrst
even IN war or in peace. He married
widow.
Mark Twain acknowledge that he is
fool. We always said Marks head was
level
A hypocrite Is a man who tries 20 be
pious aud can't. with a prepondorenee Of
can't
The four daughters Of a man named
Pinis arc known as half a gallon Of
'lasscs.
Hcll-oquence i what the Worcester
Press thinks the latest pulpit sermons
amount 10.
with handles onto pull them down, you
know.
All earthly joys must fade. aud even
little Tom Thumb they say, l. growing
baldheaded.
At what rate Of speed does a man with
the toothache 50 20 The dentistP AZ
iooih.hurty gait.
Rooms 10 let 10 a few gentlemen with
gas" i the way a householder w0rded
bis advertisement.
Tho survival Of the fittest q illustrated
in the case Of a Leavonworih tailor. who
Is l0l years old.
Nothing l. 20 fatal 10 the romance Of
kiss a. TO have your girl sncezs AZ the
moment Of OSCILLATION.
A shoemaker In Pennsylvania advor.
tises medicinal boots" The virtue 10
supposed to be in tho heal
The rector Of q fashionable church Is
now aifectionately spoken Of as an apps.
tie Of the Genteela.'
II was a darkey who exclaimed. a. he
rose from his knees az a camp meeting
Here ! raise my ebon-knoes-air."
Don't you be stia and stuck up. after
I've made a man Of you was the cutting
remark Of the sculptor 10 the marble.
Now that Beeohor has done away With
the big blaze. the future for many Of uh
does not look near AZ bright a. Il did.
A young lady in Wisconsin refused an
ofier OF marriage. on the ground that her
father was not able 70 support a larger
family.
whoopl Who'll give us a free ticket
and lend us a revolvcrg A man In Port
land. Maine. has written poem on the
Beautiful Snowl
Many mothers raise their daughters on
the principle of teaching them frst 10
play the piano. second 10 dress. third 20
dance. and sew forth.
Man glories in bis strength woman In
her hair, and boarding.hounc butter
sometimes Flofica IN both.
swallow tails never 90 out Of fashion;
but it seems 10 us that newspaper readers
don't swallow tales aa they used 20.
A Pittsburgh woman praya Ia 20 loud
a tone that her noighbora have had her
arrested for disordeFly conduct.
A commercial advertisement for "a
man 10 travel. was answered BY a tramp.
lie said be was used 10 the business.
Tobacco was named in honor Of its dis
cover. o. G. Cabot. brother of Sebastian
Cabot They just spelled his name back.
ward.
The English boy l. whaicd unmcrci.
fully az school bat after be has grown up
he whales his wife aud gets even.
Mr. Henpex. when asked II he believed
In the existence Of hell. warmly replied
that he bad strongly entertained such a
belief ever since he married Mrs. licnpcN.
Fronohman Of Tours 10 his friend fresh
from Paris-"And did you meet my
fricnd-Y' "Ycs. but I saw very little
Of her" "Ah, she was not then in even.
ing dress"
We know that our turn 10 be victimircd
would come. Counterfcit Eve cent pieces
have at last invaded tho security that
hedgcd about the average newspaper
man.
How does the new COW answcrY asked
one man Of another who bad lately pur-
chased COW. II really cant say." was
the reply. "ioF have never asked her
question.
Patterson says the hrat returning
board" of which he had any recollection
was a ahinss IN the hands of his father.
The thrcc-fathcr. son aud ahingle-uncd
10 hold frequent meetings in tho back
shed. but the returns came In 40 rapidly
that fair count was impraclicablc.
Among the many aurmisca a. 10 what
will become Of the last man. II IL strange
that nobody has suggested thai the last
man j. destined to be talked 10 death ~
the last woman.
Kindness goes a great way. A Kansas
iailor discovered this the other dsy when
be kindly allowed a prisoner 10 walk
out aud take the air. Kindness made a
run Of thirteen miles before being caught
Sometimes progress CONES square up
against a stone fence. and stands there
for centuries. The boy OF 90 day gets
just AZ sick over his hrst chow oi tobacco