West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-06-08
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FROM THE DARTER FAMILY
AURoARRY, w. VIRGINY.

1t has been nigh onto a whole
month since your old friends Joe
Barter and Nancy Darter Of Auroar.
~ wrote our tother letter, and list
thinkin as how you'd like to hear
from us onct more agin, we have
concluded to write you another lit
tie letter, jst TO Tell you all that
Joe and Nancy are still among the
livln, Notwithstanding the hard times.
Nancy has been mighty keerful of
late In watchin for moose. She said
as how she list knowed that some
thin dreadful was goin to happen
soon. She had SIGH powerful time
drapin her dishrdg, sneezen before
breakfast and losein her pipe and
terbacker every day. that she was
Ilst certain all the time that come
thing would happen anyhow. And
sure enough let as Nancy had per-
dicted SOM ethin shockin did happen
last week.
Reckon you heerd as how our big
Squire and little Constable had SIGH
dreadful fuss some time ago ia
Auroarry, and as how old Mrs. Til
ton OF Possum holler, and the young
Merchant tried TO arbitrsde and
divide the spiles for them. But
they could mt agree on verdick.
Old Mrs. Tilton had SIGH q hankerin
Tor the big Squire, that she wanted
him to have the whole pile, right or
wrong, Just or unjust, but Davy
wanted to see justice done, and /
tell you he stuck to the little con-
stable like Mister Crockett to the
coon skin. So you see the little
constable llst went way oven to
Portland and made complaint to
the Squire Of that town, and in the
course of human events as some fell
Ter onct said, the big squire of Aur-
roarry was summoned 10 appear at
the court house in Portland before
Justice OF the peace. The big SQUIRE
found out that the little constable
did mt want to law him at the ooun-
ty place, so he Just ordered the Port
land Squire to send the case to
court anyhow. The big Squire
did mt want to go to court any more
nor the little constable did all the
time, but he jist thought he could
skeer the constable anyhow, and 80
he did. The little constable is
dreadful skeeIy since that Widder
Nine shot at him on SaltLick, ijct to
see how last he could run. He list
went and paid the cost and tuck
the case from Portland The little
constable NOT wantin to lose all the
epiles Of Office and work Tor nothing.
concluded TO try the b Squire
crack before Justice Painter. So
they got all things ready and last
Friday WAS the DAY fixed TOR the
weddin at Painters Mil. Nancy
didn't hear fold Mrs. Billy Tllton
was one of the alters or not. The
people are powerful glad that it.
did mt come oil agn IN Auroarry,
Friday come ard the two limbs of
the law what belong to meetlu, list
met face to face at the appInted
place. They jist Unanswered, tlo ~
ed and made music peIzactly like
two old Tom cats settln on fence
rail. They opened dreadful fire
on each other aud jlst made the fur
fly every crack. What them two
9ious fellers didn't know and tell
on each other haint worth known
or tellin uohow. The excitement
was powerful high abought the Mil.
The "Glneral" jlst thinks no SIGH
excitiu time ever occurred in Amer
ky since old Mister Samson law.
boned the Phllstians. Nancy heerd
that the fuss was forty times more
nasty, than it was at Auroarry wnen
old Mrs. TiIton and Davy arbltra-
ded, and the big nest egg got bus
ted all to smash, and the powerful
strong flavor pisoDed the air for
many miles, and SIGH dreadful
sickness follered. Nancy heerd AS
now theJ jlst smet each others fist,
but was a leered to fight.
Justice Painter could no more
stop the fuss, than he could stop
hurricane or straddle the Gulf Of
Mexico. They just wanted to tell
the pLbliCk what they knowed about
each other. II they keep on tellin
on each other the publick' will GIT
dreadful wise ] tell you. They had
SIGH an awful sight to tell, that
Squire Painter couldn't git them
married no how. Nancy is power