The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1878-05-28

1t il said thar the lightning struck the
head If . Warrensturg dsrkey. during a
thunder storm On the 22.i nlt., glancing off
and killing two mules The storv ~ not
credited outside oi that burg, however, ex
c~pt ~ for the mulcs.-HeWy County Dsmo-
crdt.
1t is generally known that some War
rensturg people have uncommonly thick
hesl l., but it was not understood before that
they were non-conluctors.
A prima donna who lately sung to q
good crowd in Philadelphia has gone to
Baw! Co more. Pic.
The next thing she'll do, she'll go to Bus
tin, with her maniacal yavp-.
Rev. + iward 4. Hale says the voice Of
the American women is sharp and shrill,
like 'war-cry." Mr.. Hale is married, ~
SURF iste.-Er.
Gail Ham.lton, the great SIuaw-ler Of
Of the Penobscot irihe, has been probably
pulling Hale's hair.
Waists we're made to hug.
Tongues were made To tune,
Arm, were made to circle the girls,
And lovers were made To spoon.
! Eyelids were made To- droop,
Cheeks we're made to blush,
| Hair Was made tn curl and friz,
And lips were made-Oh hush
DO yOu know an Indian in front of a
cigar store reminds me of the man who
ru-hes into the sanctnm AMI wants tn know
"who wrote that articIey' Position Is
everything.-Ifaekeasaek Republicans.
None but wooden headed inians would
ever be likely to trouble the Rspubticm any
way.
Elizabeth Allen. in . poem, asks, 'Oh,
willow, Why forever weep" Elizabeth is
little mistaken ~ To the facts. Ii isn't
the willow that weeps, il is the boy who
dances under the timber end Of it,
hiawksye.
But he always executes his best waltzing
"Downby the cane brake,
| Close BY the milr'
The spoony essitOr who wrote the word
lead" across the upper right-hand corner
little hut absent-minded. He thought he
| Wa uXiuS up COpS-AO0Su ScutxT. . II nc
was solid With his girl its all right.-Bas-
ton Globe.
He was . base m,nion % do such thing
any way. He ought to have standing
head all the time until his nose BLEED.
GENTLE SPRING.
When the very first night the fires 60 out,
All Of the house plants freezes.s
When man il he sits on the southside porch,
Gets the rheumatic in his kneeSe>;
And the fellow who takes his hannels of,
Blows out his brains with sneezes.
When the baby wakes up with an iron-clad
Group
And the mother its neck goose greases.
Never plead guilty u poverty. So far
a. this world is concerned. you might
better admit that you are villian.-Eh.
In other words step mp to the bar and
order your round of drinks, though you
have not cent to your name. There is a
kind Providence that watches over the pen
niless orphan and if the gin mill keeper at
Temps to kick you out, you can save him
the trouble by gracefully bidding the COM
pany good evening.
-Deacon-"Boy, can you tell me where
all naughty boys go to VIM play ball on
Sundayw "Over back Of Johnson's dam ~
the you,gster replied. Journal.
This reminds the BAzoo man, ~ old
Uncle Abe used to say, Of trip he once
took in California He rode all day and
toward nightfall came to q sort Of ford
What is this place boy ?" asked the BAzoo
man Of . ragged urchin setting on log.
"Yuba dam" was the insolent reply.
"Whst?"
"Yuba dam" was the sharp retort.
"You be dam-I guess it is you be dam,
cried the BAzoO man springing from his
horse and furnishing his whip. "If you
hain't got any better manners in California
than to insult stranger, I'll give you a
few lessons
"Yuba DAM" fairly screamed the youth,
and the lash touched the boys ears.
"Yubs DAM broke in an old woman
leaning out Of cabin window.
H and cried the BAzoo man, "vhat
is the matter with ye all, what have done
to yep
"Yuba dam 4! repeated the old woman be-
tween the whifis of her clay pipe" That
il where you are. This il the Yuba river.