The New York herald., 1878-03-03

Of tho Messiah this morning ny Rev. W. Is. Aiger
"Tne Night OF Human Life" will DO lifted in tho even
ing.
CHAT BY THE WAY.
Is easy to preach, but when It comes 10 practis-
ing what you preach, ah. there's tho rub.
There Ia great deal OF religion that is ike morn
ing cloud as soon as tho gets hot 1t disappears.
No matter II a man does say he wants to DO an
angel II Is always safe to havo the name Of good
indorser on the back OF his note.
II s all well enough to give tho dcvil his due, but
be that ho doesn't claim your soul In part
payment
ifesty from a tender heart; and how many, alas
como from a tender head.
great deal OF logic is like that Of the small boy
who declared that large number of people have
saved their lives by not swallowing pms, who would
certainly have boon killed II they had swallowed
them.
Ono OF tho Western papers hits tho nail the head
when IL speaks OF Colonel Ingersoll ''pcdler Of
paganism"
The prayer Of the Norman might suit the spirit OF
time. II was, "Kind heaven. do not ask for
wealth; only DO placed within arms length Of some
man who has it,"
you know q man who Is willing to kiss Your boots
because you rich you may be sure that there is
Ho who will cringe before one who Is bigger tnan
himself will play tho tyrant all smaller than
himself
Mr. Kimball, tho church debt exesminator, s called
in tho Wost the great "Anangest."
Proverbs are IN hundred gallons OF sap boiled down
to pound OF sugar. Hero Is one from Servia which
expresses q unanimous conviction -"One never iecs
three hundred blows ON another mans baek'
II you want 10 keep the house warm tho year round
all you have do And fault whether there is
cason or not ana you will evolve q degree OF heat
which the Thermometer can't measure
Some people insist upon putting the logical be-
fore the horse and then wonder why things don't
work. They like the lstle boy who flied himself
to rcpletion because he determined not to leave
any for that stomach ache; or like the Emerald
Islander who safd that tho best way build chin.
ney was to hold up . brick and then keep building
under II
Our severo prison discipline is producing very bad
moral eHect. A high toned gentleman who had been
living in luxury and refinement on money which he
had borrowed" from q bank, intended give him
self up to so-caIed justice Alter roading detailed
account Of the way which prisoners had been mis-
used, however, he changed his mind, "bor-
rowed" some and took drawing
for Canada II we should convert
two three first class hotels into prisons,
and publish the bill OF fare providing FREQ list 10 all
tho popular theatres. wo nave doubt that great
many persons who are . little irregular their
finances would seriously think Of taking board at the
public expense. So long We Gun afford TO regard
crime u simple ''irregularity" we ought not to
shave the head Of the criminal.
woman who has been afflicted with drunken
husband for many years says she has had woman
"sunerage" enough, ana proposes TO apply for dt.
vorcc.
Deacon Block has been ''extermipated" from the
Presby Church because he had social In
his house for his boys and girls TO some people
lRion isn't religion unless Is sour 1t s
sary to drink vinegar all your life because you
TO believe in God and live an honest life Religion
and dyspepsia are not synonymous terms.
Poor Nip, the chimpanzee, no moro, and we are
again disappointed. We did hope that few months
contact with American civilization would enable HIM
TO enough OF peculiarites TO 1T him for scat
in Congress At the very least. He would thore begin
tho lowest possible plano OF intellectual and moral
activity, and, It was expected. would easily equal
those far-sghtcd Statesmen and add his voto to the
Silver bill But ever thus since chldhood's hour,
wove our tondest hopes decay. Tho very
thought OF going to Congress brought crisis and
n his last smile Nip seemed 70 say that OF the Two
alternatives death was preferable The keepers OF
tho otner chmpanzoc only keep the poor creature
quiet by soiemny promising, in all dead and living
languages with tho hope OF striking its vernac-
ular) that is snail be madc to for Office
Mr. Darwin is nconsolable the loss OF Nip, tho
English bondholders propose TO erect monument TO
him on tho plausible ground that II he had been
spared no would have known enough not to pay gov
crnment securities In dcbascd coin.
Modern Sspirtualism IL not modern after all The
student nnds traces Of It everywhero We are told in
Sca his ha oh Tnu ind
shut up three Firms in hut for thrco nights that
thoy might visit Iceland and give him information
concerning the country in which he proposed SET
tie. Their bodies became rigid, they scnt their souls
tho errand, and, awakening after threc days, gave
accurate description OF tho country. We are also
told by JungStling that examples TO his Knowl
edgo OF sick persons, who, longing TO see absent
friends fell into a swoon during which they appeared
10 the distant objects Of their affection. In mod
language the ''bosido ones self" with
something OF the old meaning II is great thing 10
know that tho barbarians OF all ages have been with
in this important matter
George Francis Tram is tho best specimen OF tho To-
gitimae results Of the doctrine OF evolution pushed
10 extreme that tho world Is likely to hook upon.
lie ought TO DO converted into irontispiece for Mr.
Darwin's next publication. Ho has beon passing
through a series OF experiments with sa.moa, and
thinking that too rich diet for a wants 10
be nm angel has abs.anod from food altogether.
He sums II all up by saying:-"I have cvouted into
being NOBODY" and We may add that II he continues
he will end by having no body. The Count Joannes
is evidently ano,nor disciple of this learned science,
aud has reached the same result Taking calm Wow
OF the doctrine Of evolution expressed by these two
gentlemen wo must confess that when VIC begin to
experiment ourselves we shall Try different
method
The husband OF tho recently incinerated Mrs. Pit
man has qucnched the sorrows OF bereavement in the
exciting eioquence OF the lecture field BY obtaining
ticket OF entrance he viii tell you all about the pro-
coss by which the dear departed was compelled 10
succumo and will explain TO you by humorous da.
grams how a hrst second wife, or even the more
muscular resistance Of the conventional mothorn-
Law, can be reduced In sixty minutes 10 convenient
and portable sizo. IL Is novel and instructive spec
tacc to see grief stricken husband standing before