The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1878-06-25
COMICALITIES.

o.o'oo.io, "eooAulnS w Tue New
York Mail, make toper's nose gay.
The lamb now lies on the dandeIion-
~ Y. Mail.
MISSIONARIES of toast are baked
bein's-Hackensack (M J) Republican.
AN editor offers reward of SIS for the
best treatise on How to make outdoor
life attractive to the mosquito"
AS WE passed by saloon the other
day we saw poor fellow with his nose
in a *sling. g
WILKIE COLLINS spends as much
money as he earns, Shake, Wilkiex nv
boy, there's plg gang Of us.
The fashionable wife looks upon her
husbands money as spoil-something
which he wants to guard, and she to
seize.
=" HE was generous to a fault
change. That is just what is the matter
with the most of us. We treat our
faults 100 kindly.
ANNIE LOUISE, the sweet warbler, is
one Of Mother Carey's chickens. Has
Annie body else a chicken SO valuable?
| -Boston Post
PARIs1ANs are tired of losing their
pocket handkerchiefs at the wash and
now they have their photographs exc
cuted in the center of each.
"ZEKrAL, don't tell anybody you
beau'd me home" "Sary, don't you
mind; / am as much ashamed of it as
you are"
"WHAT are the wild wives SAYING ?"
Why, simply this: "You'll get moth
ing but picked up dinner till this house
is cleaned from turret to foundation
stoneW
THE college student is now reducing
his flesh and training hard for the sum-
mer boat-races. He sings: "This is the
weigh | long have soughu." -Philadel-
phia Bulletin.
JONES says he bought at a restaurant
q straw berry short cake, but it was
mighty hard to recognize it as SUCH It
hadn't even strawberry mark to iden-
tify it.-PhiladeLphia Bulletin.
DAD, have you ever been to the muse
UNI" said ten-year-old. mo my
SON." "Well, 60 and mcnti my name
to the keeper, and he'll take you round
and show you everything"
The college student is now reducing
his flesh and training hard for the sum-
mer boat races. He sings: "This is the
weigh l long have sought" Philadel-
phia Bulletin
OWING to a compositor's error cir
cular issued the other day by Mr.. Fred
erick Vokes, the dancer, was made to
read: "I offer my shanks to all who
have favored me with their patronage"
IT was assuredly an American lady
who, while "doing" the Alps, wrote to
her guardian: 81 tried yesterday to
climb the Matterhorn; didn't near reach
the top. 1t is absurdly high-everthing
Is in this country-please send me s."
EVEN the cold watchdog of the
treasury" with the nations millions be-
hind him, could not assume that malign-
ant expression of jealous vigilance which
is worn by an old hen studiously sitting
on broken tumbler and two door-knobs
A DARTMOUTH student rendered five
cent pieces in payment for his tuition
last year, having received them from his
father, a milkman. The treasurer re-
fused them. This year he offers three
cent pieces, and refuses to give anything
else.
CLOCKS with phonograph attach
ment instead of striking the hour will
call out in the morning, "Hallo, John,
time to get up" or may politely invite
"Dear Charles" or "Henry" to 90
home when ten o'clock P. M. arrives.
He was three squares after what he
thought was street-car light; and, af-
ter he got out of breath, he lay down on
the doorstep, disguised to find out that
it was only a lightning-bug on his spec
tacles.
: WALT WHITMAN dares the soul "to
) walk with him to unknown regions
. where there is no ground for the feet.
It was put up or shut up with Walt, and
so far not single soul has accepted the
l challenge.-Picayune. ~.
ELIZABETH ALLEN, in poem asks:
? "Oh, willow, why forever weep?"
) Elizabeth is little mistaken as to the
: facts. It isn't the willow that weeps, it
l is the boy who dances under the Timber
I end of it.
r The cottage formerly occupied by
/ beautiful widow Of Newport will be
rented this season. Reason given in the
! widows own words: "Toomuch balcony
? and too little Romeo"
s The heaviest snorer we have heard of
! is the man up town whose wife woke him
up, during tempest, saying she did
wish he would stop snoring, for she
wanted to hear the thunder.
The Rochester Express wants Edison
: to invent something to take the squeak
E out of shoes. Better turn his attention
) to the confounded stairs which give
e fellow away when he comes nome from
lodge. o'
, owe are going to make it hot" OBJ
!, served an enthusiastic young Democrat
to an older and more sedate member of
his party on School street, the other day.
, Yes" answered the other, with tinge
of sadness in his tone, :" for ourselves,
/ Full INsIDE.-The following has ap-
! peared in very Irish paper; Purse
, lost by a poor woman who has sick
.. woman who has sick child containing
l3s and letter." No wonder the child
is unwell-Fan. M r-455 - --
7 A BALTIMORE man has been arrested
, for PLAYING ghost by dancing around at