Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1878-05-04

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;hiag We give II up
ANAcHISE quite q, useful In its way
- the telephone az photograph has jgsi
l~-cn invented. IL is for the comfort and
protection Of lone females. You JUS,
pour a gallon of whisky on the sitting
room carpet. aud il smells as though there
was han around, all the time.
Mr.. CHARLES BENSON, Of johnson
county, extinguishcd his kerosene lamp
by blowing down the chimney just day
before the passage OF the silver bill would
Bat twas ever thus. In the midst of
have made him rich enough to put in gas.
life we are in cinerated, sometimes.
BARON uEICHENBACH, who has devoted
many years to the study of the art of bed
making aud sleeping, says: "Always sleep
with your feet to the equator" This is
good advice; we suppose it is to keep the
feet warm, for which purpose the equator
we firmly believe, will knock hot brick
higher than kite.
TUE Oldest woman in the world is
Eulalia Perez, now living in Los Angeles,
California. She is one hundred and forty
years old and still uses her needle" She
was one hundred and forty years old and
was using her needle just the same thirty
six years ago. She seems to be hale and
doesn't grow any older.
SOMEHOW, we can't help thinking that
even in our brief experience, We have
heard new political parties start out as
gaily and noisily as the national labor
party, and pass to their reward without
electing u president, or consuming the
great natural arteries of commerce az
with q devouring coptlagration.
AFTER man, who has always main
tanned the highest standing in the relig-
ious, community, has once run across the
back yard after dusk and tried to cut the
clothes line in two with his chin, he al.
ways has to explain to his Mortified wife
that he got into the habit of swearing in
the army. And very probably he did.
IT is being suggested that both Houses
of Congress 90 over to the Paris EXPOSE
tiOn ut government expense, to represent
the intelligence, statesmanship, and po-
litical honesty of the United States. But
there is such wide spread public oppo-
si,ion to the proposition, that it will
hardly carry. 1t is very singular. Can
the members Of Congress explain why it
isl
'Snow US young man." remarks the
Shreveport Herald, "who can quit the So
ciety of the young and take pleasure
in listening to the kindly voice of the
aged, and we will show you Il true gen.
tleman." All right. We will write to
the late Pho Mono, and ask him to look
around him for such a young man, and
to send you his photograph. There are
none of that kind around here.
WE always thought Burlington was
little rugged and hilly, but it doesn't
hold a candle to Kansas City. The other
day man on the train, man who didn't
look as though he would lie about lit
tie trivial thing like that, told US about
man in Kansas City who fell out of bis
back yard, and striking against the roof
Of his house, broke his neck. We sighed,
and told him Burlington Was q very fiat,
tiresomely level city; quite depression
in the ground, in fact.
JosH BIIILSGs, the dear old philosopher,
says: ''Thare in } kinds CT jokes-one
makes u lxf Asfsvs &c hear u. one sksa
&c he.r II. ani the other sumft.s< after
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