The daily intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Territory [i.e. Wash.]) 1876-1881, 1878-01-24
Some Of the Humors or Eating and
Drinking.

The subject of eating occupies large
share Of our time and much of our
thought. One half Of mankind pas.
their lives in thinking how they shall
get dinner, and the other in thinking
what dinner they shall get; and the
first are much less injured by occasional
fasts than are the latter by constant
feasts. On the sll-importsnt question,
When should man dine. Diogenes
remarked, If rich, when he likes; if
poor, when be can.
Commencing our comicslities very
appropriately with the subject Of grace,
am reminded OF theological student
who was SO sensitive ss to any suspi-
cion Of plag that be never allow
rsd 1e0srlf to make the slightest quota
tion without giving his author. On
one occasion he commenced grace at
breakfast. thus: Lord. we thank thee
that We have been awakened from the
sleep which writer in the EdinburqA
Reriep has called, The Image of
Deatbl"
The London Punch, some years ago,
had this scene at . dinner table, at
which q clergyman 10 present.-Land-
lady: Mr.. Choker. will vcu say Rrace?'
Little boy at Tie foot Of the ta5le:: Mama,
l say besns-wsnt some beans, don't
want any grace"
A good story GENES from the South.
A party OF gentleman having sat down
to dinner. one of them was asked to say
grace, aud bowing his head, said: Lord,
make us honest and rich" An editor
who was present promptly responded,
'Amen. Give the colonel the former,
and thy humble servant the latter, as
Thou seest we need, and do it quickly"
Queer conceits are sometimes devel-
oped in hosts. 1t was the literary
humor of wealthy gentleman, in tbs
habit Of dining" authors, to place his
guests at the table according to the size
aud thickness of the books they had
printed. At the head of the table sat
those who had published in folio tolus-
simo; next, the authors in quarto. then
those in octave. etc.
Then. again, eaters betray liking
for some particular food One of this
class remarked at dinner-table, "Since
l have been abroad, have eaten so
much veal that am ashamed to look
calf in the face" 'Is'pcse, sir, then"
said wag. who was present. "you
shave without glass"
Great men have generally been great
eaters. and some Of them, notably Swift
and Or. Johnson. kave not shown the
best of breeding at table. Swift. dining
at house where the part Of the table,
cloth which was the next to him hap
peDed to have small hole. tore it as
wide rs he could aud ate his soup
through it. His reason for such beha-
vior was. as he said, to notify the lady
of the house, and to teach her to pay
proper attention to housewifery.
Once, however, the hostess got the
better of him. Dining one day with Mrs.
Fleming, the Dean complained that q
leg of mutton, one of the dishes at table
was full of msggots. Not halt as full
as your head. doctor" replied the lady,
dryIy.
DIR. johnson was one day dining ut
the house Of an English lady, when she
asked him if he did not think her pud-
ding good. "Yes." growled the great
moralist cit is very good for hogs"
"Shall l help you to another plateful,
them" asked the polite hostess.
When Thackeray. the novelist was
asked how he felt after eating the first
Saddlerock oyster he ever tasted, he
remarked. II felt a. if had swallowed
live baby"
This calls to mind tho young lady
who asked her PHI ysician if he thought
that raw oysters were healthy. YES"
he replied. II never know ono to CON-
PLAIN of being ont of health in my
life"
Foote, being at table next to q gen.
tleman who had helped hsmsclt to
very large piece of bread, after he had
taken mouthful or two. Foote took up
his bread and cut q piece off. "Sir."
said the gentleman, 'that 10 my bread"
II beg . thousand pardons. sir" said
Foote, II protest. took il for the loaf"
One evening in lS46 Rachel invited
Alfred de Musset to dinner. when oil
the other guests were men OF mark in
society. and very rich Daring dinner
the great tragediennc's left hand neigh
Dor admired q magnificent ring she
wore. and everyone went into rsptures
over it. "Wel, Gentlemen" said
Rachel "as this triumph of art happens
to please you, I'll put it up for auction.
What will you gives' In few mo-
meuts tho price had gone up to $500.
"And you, my poet" said Rachel to dc
Musset, LET me hear what You viii
give." II give you my heart" was
the reply. The ring is yours said
she, as she drew it froui her finger and
threw it on his plate. On leaving the
table the author Of "Caprice" wished to
return the ornament, bat his hostess
would not hear ofit.
Sheridan. aud Campbell. the poet,
were invited to dine at the house Of q |
mutual friend. Sheridan repaired to
the hospitible mansion OF his friend in |
gaod time, knowing that the good
wines and the good liquors famous
among other good things were await
ing him there in the utmost profasion.
Csmpbslls characteristic phiegh. on
such OCCASIONS rendered him late; the
dinner being we'll over before he reach |
ed the house. On entering. and about
proceeding upstairs. be was very much I
startled by the noise as of some one !
tumbling down. He nervously shout |
I'd cut, "who's there's IT'S !, sir.
tlser) rolling rapidly" replied voice. |
which. as . matter Of course. WAS Sheri- |
dams.