Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1878-06-21
EU.N !!

the editorial room of the ARGUS and,
siding up to the reporters table, he took a
seat, nudged up close, and said:
ssJust take it down now, and I'll give
you good item. Ready?''
.'sY es, 60 ahead"
ssWell, this morning Mrs. Tucker, my
wife, you know, and her daughter, Bessie,
were driving out with a bay mare named
Kitty, along the river road to see her
aunt
'sWhose aunt?"
e.Mrs. fuckers aunt. To see her aunt.
Bessie was driving the mare, and little
after they passed Stapleton Place she threw
one of her Shoes"
ssBessie did?"
s'No, Kitty, the mare. And Bessie said
to her mother that she thought she was be-
having queerly.'
ssMrs. Tu cker was?"
e'The mare; and she felt so weary that
she had half notion to turn back"
care you speaking of the mare or OF
Bessie?"
81 mean Bessie, of course. But she kept
on limping and going kinder uneven, un-
til they were down by the gas-works, when
she laid back her ears, and
ssYou dom mean Bessie's ears?''
'sCertainly not
$50 on, then. Mrs. Tucker laid back
her ears %
s'The mares ears. And just as they got
on the bridge over the creek the mare
gave tilt to one side. and, as Mrs. Tuck
er screamed, she let drive with both her
hind legs against the carriage
care you referring to Mrs. Tucker, or
to the"
s'Kitty, the mare; and snapped both
shafts off short. The next moment, before
Mrs. Tucker or Bessie could save them
selves, she went over the side, turning q
complete somerset"
ssYou are now speaking of the mare?"
ayes; the mare turned complete som
erset into the water. One of the traces re-
NAMED unbroken, and, of course, as Kitty
went over, she dragged the carriage after
her, and Mrs. Tucker and Bessie went
f1oundering into the creek. The mare at
once struck out for shore, and Bessie, for
tunately had presence of mind enough to
grasp her by the tail. She had blind stag
gers, but it had passed off"
ssNot Bessie?''
ftNO, the mare; and, as she was being
towed past Mrs. Tucker. Mrs. Tucker
caught hold of her dress"
ssThe mares dress?"
isBessie's dress, of course; and it seemed
for a minute that the mare would bring
them safely to land. But Mrs. fuckers
hold on the mares tail loosened somehow,
and-''
.sYou said Bessie had hold of the mares
tail.''
ibid I? Well, so it was; and Mrs.
Tucker had hold of her DRESS"
s'Whose dress?'
:sDidn't 1 say Bessie's dress? Well,
then, somehow Mrs. fuckers hold slipped,
and-''
sHer hold of what?"
aHer hold of the mare's-no,. must be
mistaken. Bessie had hold of the mares
tail, while the mare was swimming, and
the mare had hold of Mrs. fuckers DR.
that is, Mrs. Tucker had hold of-well,
anyhow, she let go"
''Mrs. Tucker let go?''
sob, dunno; whoever had hold of the
mare let go, and she went to the bottom
like stone"
eff I follow your meaning, it was the
mare that went to the bottom?"
my goodness, man can't you under
stand? 1t wasn't the mare. The mare
swan ashore.''
''What did you say she went to the bot
tom for them"
II didn't; it was Bessie"
ssBessie never said word about it,"
s.YOu know what mean; Bessie went
to the BOTTOM
ssAnd Mrs. Tucker swan ashore?"
ssNo, she didn't
..Very well, then, Mrs. Tucker went to
the bottom, too
s'No, she didn't, either"
'sMrs. Tucker flew up in the air, them
ssYou think you're smart, don't your"
well, go on and tell your story; we'll
discuss that afterward. What did Bessie
say when she got to the bottem9"
1--WE got big notion to wallop you."
.sWhat did she say that for?"
ssYou mud-headed idiot, said Mr.. Tuck
er. rising, ''give me any more of your in
science and I'll fay you alive. | was go
ing to give you good Item about the
mare. and about what Mrs. Tucker said
about her turning somersets. all the way
home, but now I'll see you hanged first"
The reporter got behind the desk, lifted
nm a chair to ward off missile, and then
he said calmly:
"What was Mrs. Tucker s object in turn
ing somersets all the way homer"
Those who saw Tucker emerge from the
"Argus" Office said he looked as if he had
seen ghost, he was SO white. And the
"Argus,' has lost subscriber.
Adeler.
SPEAK GENTLY.-A loud boisterous
tone shows want of good breeding. The
: first principle of politeness is to make
those about you feel pleasant, and rude,
coarse manner of speaking is annoy ng to
most persons. A good anecdote is related
of a man who went by the name of
ssWhispering john which was given HIM
in ridicule. People said he talked as though
he were brought up in "a mill. One cold
morning he walked into public house,
and called out in his laundering voice.
.lGood morning, landlord, how are
you z" .,
sob. I'n well, but Pm so cold, can
hardly talk
Just then a nervous traveller who was
present ran up to the landlord exclaim-
ing:
ac poccihla -