Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-07-17
The monographs First Words
OIL City Derrick.

" In all that has been written concern
ing the Edison photograph, u said grand
father Lickshingle yesterday, the first
words uttered by the machine have not
been mentioned. Mr.. Edison doubtless
has delicacy III giving them to report
ers, but as it is a matter Of national in
terest, and as [ was the only other per-
son present in his workshop at Munlo
Park when the photograph first gave
utterance, [ feel it my duty to speak
up"
Why, Grandfather, when were you
at Munlo Park? You have scarcely
been out of your armchair in two
years." said one Of the children.
Without seeming to hear this, Grand
father went on:
"You know Mr.. Edison worked a
long time at his machine, and met with
many exasperating difficulties. He
told me himself that he often felt like
kicking the blamed thing into the street.
But he didn't. He worked away at it
night and day, and when anything went
wrong restrained himself as we'll as he
could. .a..t
when he asked me into his shop to
look at the machine he had no idea it
was as nearly perfect as it proved to be.
He put on a new tinfoil frightened some
Of the screws and things, and explained
to me how he expected it to work after
a while. After monkeying around it
for few minutes he took hold of the
crank and gave it whirl or TWO. 1t
gave screech like Comanche and we
both involuntarily felt of our scalps to
see if they were all right.
Mr.. Edison was the first to recover
himself, and remark facetiously that he
didn't know it was loaded"
" He tinkered little more on the in
side of the thing, CREASED the piston or
something, and started her up. The first
turn of the crank brought out in Whee-
zy sort of tone:'
"Confound the COMPOUNDED thing
to cOnfou ndation and be COMPOUNDED to
it," ....s. ..r .-..-. ...,..
"This confused Mr.. Edison some
what, and thought he wished he had
not invited me in. [ could see quite
plainly that he had rather it said some
thing else, but he was at the same time
so much elated that it should say any
thing at all that he continued to turn
the crank and the machine continued to
talk. 1t was terrible to hear it. For
instance" E .....
eye blamed old fraud of a thing,
amt We never goin' to talk? Yer
worse than like the Kelley motor, and
for two cents I'd throw We inter the
river" r... - -...s.
''What does it mean" ventured to
ask Mr.. Edison.
"Blest if [ can tell,'' he replied, and
continued to turn the crank.
"Ifye don't talk before the Fourth of
July yelled the machine in an angry
desperate tone,-If we don't talk before
the Fourth of July, I'll smash We with
an ak and sell we for old junk. Now,
listen ter me- and it ratified the words
out as if some one was shaking i.. I've
fooled with We about as long as l intend
ter, an the next thing we know we won't
know nothin'" .'-~" "@ Hi
:" Mr.. Edison was completely over
come, and leaned up against a work
bench for support" s.... ..
Il took hold of the crank and turned
it, and the machine yelled at the top of
its voice." sa
"Holy mother of Moses, amt We
never goin' to say a auordl Here I've
spent over S75 on We, an still yer
dumber than rotten oyster; I'll put
on some fresh tin. foil, file off the dufun-
ny a little and give We one more chance!
If We don't speak up then III kick the
stuffin' out of We, SO help me"
p "Here," said Grandfather, :" Mr.. Edi-
son implored me to leave the machine
alone, as its language was a disgrace to
civilization.