The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-07-27
VARIETIES.


The royal family of England re-
ceives $4,000, 900 year.
Pope County, Mimi, has $4,000
acres of unoccupied lands.
1t costs about eighteen dollars ton
to catch lobster on the Maine coast
A acknowledgements sheep is
still being shorn at Greenbush, Mich.
The best tempered people cannot
make home happy without mosquito
bar.
1t is estimated that American tour
lists will leave $20,000,000 in Europe
this year.
The evening song of the nightin-
gale is nice, but the morning lay of the
barn-door fowl is nicer.
"A man should always know who is
at the other end of the wire before he
lets himself out over telephone.
The difference between model
woman and a woman is, one is bare
possibility and the other is Il naked fact.
-" Sho-wae-cae-mette," the name
adopted by the American boat crew
abroad; is Indian for " lightning in the
water"
The air is so balmy that the Young
woman who is taking piano lessons can
have the window up. This is very
gratifying to us.
Didn't you always notice that uhrH
you spilled bowl of gravy al dinner
the attraction of gravy-tation is strong
est toward your lap?
"a = a.
prevent Drunkenness There J.. u.
other way so sure as never b. tourh b
drop of liquor"
"A man having fallen down iu a hi
in tailor's shop, an enyiOus rival
sad: That's the only No ever seen iu
the establishment"
1T was an American belle Just back
from Switzerland: pretty place, but it
struck me there were too many lakes
and too few young men,
"A baby was recently sold in At
lantic, Iowa, for fifty dollars The pa
rents of the child had parted, and the
sale was to the grandparents.
49," Are you the mate of this ship?"
said a newly-arrived passenger to the
cook. mo. sir. | am the man that
cooks the mate" said the Hibernian.
The skeletons of two Indians were
eXhdmed at Scipio, recently. One was
of immense proportions, measuring
three feet across the hips and eight feet
in stature.
81 didn't know" said an old lady
as she laid down her newspaper, that
thieves were so scarce they had to adj
vertise for 'em, and offer reward for
their discovery"
-" suppose" said little five-years-
old, in her quiet. thoughtful way. Il
suppose there are men under ground
that push up the flowers, don't you,
mammaP'-BoSt0n Transcript.
An editor asks 'How do the In
dams get arms?" and the Cincinnati
Saturday Night supplies the informa-
ton as follows: "Well, very much as
they get legs and other things
-" Why" asked housewife, " docs
pork shrink in the cooking?" Woman
avaunt. We are too busy trying to find
out why it shrinks in the smoke-house
to answer such trivial question.
-"John," said cockney solicitor to
his son, II see you'll never do for an
attorney, you have no henergy."
''Skuse me, father" said John, "what
l want is some of your chickanary."
What good is they, anyhow
scornfully remarked a bootblack, re-
ferring to the fair sex. "Did you ever
know 'em to stop and give a teller
job? Not much! They amt got no
shoes on fit to blacken, anyways"
Coates ajar" may be very beautiful
in the minds eye of sentimental
young lady; but when a fellow is hur-
rying home upon dark and stormy
night and finds few gates ajar he
cusses awfully. That is, if they swing
across the walk.
On being asked why he went into
bankruptcy, he replied: "Well, my
liabilities, were large, my liabilities
numerous, and my probabilities I'M
promising; and so thought I'd do as
my neighbors do"
Here is chance for an ambitious
country editor: The citizens of a Mani
toba town undertake to pay bonus of
SoOO W Inc lOunucT VI Wechly paper,
and guarantee him circulation of 400
copies for year, at the price of two
dollars per copy.
"A youngster, while warming his
hands at the fire, was demonstrated
with by his father, who said: $50 away
from the fire; the weather is not cold"
81 amt heating the weather; Pm
warming my hands," the little fellow
demurely replied.
-" Why is it, my dear sir" said
Waffle's landlady to him the other day,
" that you newspaper men never get
richP' 81 don't know" was the re-
ply, except it is that dollars and sense
do not always travel together
Higgins says he believes in the
resurrection of the body after death, and
that that event will occur before the
world is burned up; but in many of the
graveyards he can't see how the people
can get out of their graves without get
ting scratched by the briers.
"A clergyman, being accosted by an
old acquaintance named Cobb, replied:
"I don't know you, sir" "My name
is Cobb, sir,' rejoined the man, who
was about half seas over. "Ah, sir"
said the minister Won have On n1uoh