The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1878-09-05
WHOLE NO. 1923.
Miscellaneous.

mdu proposes DuI-Ao 10 AoV always
accepted.
An important suit-the first jacket and
trousers.
The breath of scandal is beyond the
control of cardamon seeds.
Bostonians are very bean-evolent to
the pork classes in the Hub.
A patch on the seat of boys trousers
is something new under the son."
Money is slow about circulating. We
saw dime loaf in baker shop yester-
day.
The only housework that some girls do
is when they begin to dust around after
beau.
What riles a country postmistress is to
have a postal card come to the office
written in French.
A pint of huchleberries on the bush is
better than two pints on the table; but
they don't contain SO many dead flies.
Proposals for marriage in Nevada are
written on postal cards and the answer
your preacher" ...........
Peter the Great of Russia, was his own
proof-reader. He must often have felt
towards himself as if he would like to
commit suicide.
Mr.. Shilling presides over the Ohio
Greenbackers. Which shows, perhaps,
that prices are coming down.
The New York Express gives the fol-
lowing advice to young men: Never ask
young lady why her back hair doesn't t
match that in front"
Speaking of the idiosyncrasies of men
of genius, Henry Clay Dean washes him
self twice q year and never wears q shirt
longer than six months in one inning.
Eight masked robbers stopped rail-
road train in the West the other day.
AS the train contained an excursion party
of editors, the only loss was loss of the
time to the robbers.
"How shall we treat the tramps 2" asks
the New York Sun. Oh we'll, if you are
going to fraternize with them in that way
we believe they generally take straight.
An exchange remarks: Jennie Quig-
ley, the dwarf says that she makes
money by being small. She hasn't a
monopoly of the business, by any means"
The saddest thing about the murder of
Policeman Smith, in New Jersey, is the
fact that in his death the ancient and
honorable family name he bore becomes
extinct.
A Fulton street sign reads Titus
Thompson" If that man can't get
drunk without telling everybody about
it, he should swear off. Besides, it's
libel on Thompson. ~.
Full many rose is born to blush un-
seen, and waste its sweetness on the des-
ert all" full many a pound of butter that
seems clean, is but hiding place for yel-
low hair. -.
To get figs from thistles: Reduce one
ton of thistles to seventy pounds of pot
ash. Then sell your potash for cash.
Then take the cash and buy figs.
What fine dark hair you have got,
Miss M - My wife, who is much
younger than you, has her hair quite
gray" Indeed" rejoined Miss M,
If had been your wife my hair, no
doubt, had been gray, too"
1t is not safe to argue that revival of
business is at hand Just because your
wife has succeeded in disposing of your
econd best suit of clothes in exchange
or green plaster of Paris parrot with
omato -colored beak.
MacMahon is said not to be over
in his remarks. Passing through
hospital in Paris, he was told that
,atient had meningitis. "a very bad
lisease," said MacMahon. "It either
,ills you or leaves you demented. 1
ave had it myself"
An aged colored individual stepped
nto a store and asked how the ther-
nometer stood. "a hundred and forty
line degrees below zeror' replied one of
he clerks. "Is dat fax ?" exclaimed
he old man, den I've lost two dollars.
just made bet it war hundred an
fly"
We notice that several of our ex-
hanges are anxious to trade off their
weet-singing Office boys. If they will
AXE tireless speller in exchange, we are
n for dicker, with our Double u.
ouble p j, double p unkin pumpkin
lie" Requires to be wound up once in
wenty-four hours.
The New York World says that forty
We gallons of writing fluid were used in
congress last session. This seems like
Mighty small quantity of writing fluid
1hen compared with the amount of
7hisky consumed during the same
ession. ..-.
Wealth and extravaganza do not al
rays 60 together. Because man is rich
no more reason why he should be
economical and set an example. So all
rho have wealth and are extravagant we
all attention to an important fact in his
Dry. We have worn a 40 cent coat all
ummer.
A life insurance agent, at Cincinnati,
Exhausted his eloquence upon a victim
tho finally threatened to kick him down
tairs. The agent promptly replied that
the victim really meant to attempt that
ort of thing that was another reason
-hy he should get his life insured, but
be victim didn't take policy.
little boy from New York went into
he country, visiting. He had bowl of
read and milk. He tasted it, and then
esitated moment; when his mother
sked him if he didn't like it. To which
e replied. smacking his lips: "Yes, Ma.
was wishing our milkman would keep a
ow."
Some chap predicts that in the course
yomen will be taller than the men.
md we believe him. If men continue
o grow short" at the rate they have
one during the past several years, the
7omen will have to wear magnifying
lacsas to raoo0piza THAR Yna1e friands