The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1878-02-05
NASBY.
The silver Russtion nt the Corners
-Bnscom Prepares for the Expects
ed Rush OF silver.
CoSFEDRIT Y RoAps,

CoNFEDRTr Y ROADS,
(Wich is in the State Of Kentucky, !
Jan. %, 1878.
amt SO certin that want the silver
bill to pass ez wuz. The fact is the
thing don't work ez / sposed il wood.
and ain't cleer onto ii. The fact is
there is snttle principles in these finan-
shell questions which reqwires a great
deel Nv thought, sud ther is underlyin
principles wich a man hez got TO under
stand afore he is competent 10 set his
self up ez authority.
One thing / am certin nv, Bascom
amt no fnanseer, nor never will be,
and told him so.
"Wat is a finanseerf" asked he.
"a fnanseer." sed /, assoomin the
look OF Danl Webster, "is a man wich
kin pay his debts with nothin-a man
wich kin git suthin with nuthin."
"rhe Corners, then, is full nv fnan-
seers," he remarkt, bitterly, castin "A
casual glance at his slate, wich wuz list
full enuf to turn oycr aud begin on
the tother side.
But he hezen't any nv the science Nv
il. / wuz argooing with him tho other
day in favor NV my noshen Nv leather
currency, though / tolp him silver wuz
much the same thing, tho for example
| wood assoom that silver wuE TO be
the currency NV the fuchsr.
"Now, don't 700 see, Bascom, that
ef he'd twicet ez much money / Good
drink twict ez much whisky, aud pay
for it?"
Glow much is twice nothin," wuz
the onieelin answer Nv tho tyrant who
holds the destinies NV the Corners in
his hands. That's wat yoor capitle
hez been ever sence hev knowd voc. 8"
"Parson, sed he, 81 don't sse what
earthly difference it's goin 10 make
whether silver is currency or anything
else. How are 700 a goin TO git silver
ef it is made legle-tenderp Ef silver
wuz ez plenty ez bricks. wat hev 700
got 10 Sit any Nv il with7"
"Iroo, q. W, wuE my anser; "but
can't 700 sec that TO hev silver wood
relieve the dettor class? Even now.
afore it is legle-tender, it's only wuth
% cents on the dollar, and when the
country is hoodid with il, it will 20 still
lower. Then we--or rather sich NV US
ez hsy property to raise money on-kin
pay Of"
"Eggsackly So" retorts Bascom;
''yoo kin pay me for the good honist
likker NV mine, wieh 700 hev consoom-
ed, in coin wich is less than the dollar
700 promised. All rite. But look
here-come in here all NV 700. | want
700 silver men 10 know exactly wat 700
are rushin into.
And this ieend led us into the back
room--that back-room wich contanes
the subsistence nv the corners. There,
in long rows WIZ BascOm's stock. -
There in barrils, piled one on top NV
another, wuz the delishus whisky NV
Looisville, nv different ages, raDgin
from that Nv two weeks old to that
wich he'd iist left the still, and was
scarcely cold yit. There it lay, and ez
my eye ranged affeckshunately over it,
| felt of i Good hey the drinkin NV all
that likker L wood be content to lay
down and die when the last drop vuz
gone.
Bascom pipted to an immense tank
wich he he'd erected, within few days,
with pipe running IL from the roof.
Il shant raise the price nv likker, in
conscience NV being paid for it IN de-
preshiated currencyr"
fell on Bascom's neck, In an extacy
Nv delite, while the others shoutld
Rah for Bascoml"
"a. W." / remarkt while teers suf-
foosed my eyes, II never placed 700
much below the angels, but this gener-
as act has histed yOo hundred per
cent. in my estimation. Bless 700, q.
W., bless 700.
s.nrt rfn ell 800 hall l.. n.
700 see that tank7" sed he.
MAY l ask wat that is forY" / sed.
"That tank will ill with ane-water, 4"
sed be. "The moment 700 git 10 pay
N me in silver, j shell take out nv eech
NV them barrils jist eggackly three and
one-fifth gallons NV likker, aud PILL IT
WITH WATER.
"Merciful hevingl' we all exclaimed,
land yoor likker 30 week now"
"Aud when silver gifts down, to sew
enty-five per cent. Nv whisky and Gil
her up with twenty-five per cent NV
water. And SO on down. Fl silver
goes up shell add whisky eggackiy in
proporshen. In short my whisky j.
list agoin 10 foller currency, and nothin
shorter. 700 fellers wich work for
wagis may swet, but / wont"
''Bnt yool increase the size nv yoor
glasses?' sed !.
mot any. But 700 m.y drink twice
q many times 20 git the same amount
nv drunk ez before. by payin for eech
drink"
And Bascom stalked hawtily back.
and took his pOsishen behind his bar
There WIZ consternashun in the Cor
ners sich ez / hev never seen. There
wuZ n hurried consultashen az the Dee
kin's house and l seiested that We
emancipate ourselves from the domin
yum Nv this tyrant 10y startin n grosery
uv our own, on the joint stock primer.
ple, wich was agreed 10, eech man
agreein to contribbit ten dollars 90 the
| capitle stock wich wood be enun 10 buy
a barl or two, for a beginnin.
We wuz enthusiastic till we come o.
ballo,tin for the man 90 keep the place.
when ID wuz foun instid nv my being
chosen yoonanimusly, ez i eggspected
/ TO be, that every man he vOtid for his.
self. Ez not soul NV en- wood recede,
tue skeem wuz blocked rite there, and
nelly he'd 90 be abandoned, and We
vent back tu Bascom's and submittid.
That tyrant hcz US.
Nv course We can't stand likkcr hi.
lootid In that manner. We are willir
enuff 10 dilOot the currency with wicl
We pay for likker, bnt we want our lik
ker full strength. We eoOdent help IT,
bat that nile We signed and sent TO oul
Representative n remembrance ngin Tho
Silver Bill. The Corners is now for
honist currency. Wood, o wood, tha'
We he'd some NV 10.
PETROLEUM V. NAsrr,
Finsnseer.
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