The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1878-05-22
FACETIA.

A chanspion pedestrian is able to get along
very well in the world. ts.t .tnt.<
Even the country papers are beginning to
decline letters about the Paris exhibition.
Boston custom house employees are no.
longer allowed to give information to news
paper reporters.
Frenchman at the exposition seeks to
tempt the vOraclous English visitors with the
sign of "Plungpuden."
New York Mail: Parlor matches are get
ting dangerous, and we will have to do our
courting in the kitchen.
No discreet man will call on a marriagable
widow without photograph. A great many
lawsuits may thus be avoided.
Young ladies. if you must wear pins on
the back OF your dresses at dance, put them
in with the points toward the left. No
charge.
Fond father-"Well, my son, how do you
like college? Alma mater has turned out
some great men" Young hopeful (just ex-
pellede"Yes, sir; she has just turned me
OUT
Cincinnati Commercial: 1t might be said
of an old topper that he went down, down.
down until he vibrated between two states
that of the saloon and that of the station
house.
Cincinnati paper tells of man who
was walking along Chicago street singing
Heaven IS my Home" Don't you feel
homesick?' yelled small boy who passed
by him.
Paris Journal: Artist-"You carried my
picture to the exhibition and handed ii over
honor. 1t pleased them. Lord, how they
laughed"
"Can any one in the school tell me why a
ships called she?" asked teacher in SUI
burban school the other day. Because she
is rigged up" answered a smart boy in the
back row.
Puck: The young man whose fancy lightly
turned to thoughts of love, about a month
ago, had better begin to buckle down to
business, and provide sinking fund against
the advent of the ice cream season.
Norristown Herald In an African church,
at Jacksonville Illinois, a man stepped on a
woman's train. A quarrel ensued, and one
man was shot dead. We have frequently
warned persons of the danger of stepping on
trains when in motion.
A boy at a crossing having begged some
thing of a gentleman, the latter told him he
would give him something as he came back.
The boy replied: "Your honor would be
surprised il you knew the money | have lost
by giving credit that way.
Phil Sheridan has been married only four
wears and already has seventy -four children
according to newspaper reports. And
newspapers can't tell a lie. News items
credit the general and his wife with new
baby about twice month,
Hostess Whispering to amateur)-'I want
you TO sing next" Amateur Whose voice
is not quite what it used to be)-"I thought
wasn't to sing till quite at the end.''
Hostess-"Yes; but there are not ices enough,
and L want some of the people to go"
Congressman Woods new tariff bill inn
poses tax of thIrty-fve per centum on
matches of all kinds" Young persons
about TO enter the matrimonial state should
remonstrste at once. The tax is onerous.
What is needed is tax of about ninety five
per centum on long engagements.
Spring poetry as conceived in forty rod and
brought forth in agony by the Boston Post:
"Ihe dor-bug howls on the hillside high,
The owlet blossoms beneath the spray:
The sunfiOwer scars in the stalwart sky,
And the hazel nut sings on Its wavy way.
s0h never be CHEEKY, or gloomy, or dry,
The mutton chop shrieks in the pollywogs
eye."
There is precocious six year old boy who
is wonderful on spelling and definition. The
other day his teacher asked him to spell
''matrimony." "M-a-t-r-i-m-o n.y." said the
youngster promptly. Nov define il" said
the teacher. well" replied the boy, II
don't know exactly what it means, bat
know mothers got enough OF it,
Astonished Papa-"Angelina my dsugh-
ter. how do YOU manage that trail? You GER
tainly don't go to entertainments with that
on?" Angelina. with ber silver laugh
80 papa, ii's no trouble at all: My puppy Is
only too delighted to hold il for me- Dear.
dear Augustus. He doesn't know call hlm
my puppy, bless his dear little helmet hat"']
Letter from the SON of a prominent states
man in Washington to pretty girl: "our
house, April 81, 1873. Dear Miss-I want
YOU to come around to our house If you
can't get body TO come around TO your
house and fetch you around to our house
will come around to your house and fetch
you around to our house. Respectfully,
etc"
"Girls," said a worthy old lady TO her
granddaughters, whenever a fellow pops the
question don't blush and stare at your foot.
Just throw your arms around his neck, look
him full in the face and commence talking
about the furniture. Young fellows are
mighty nervous sometimes. / lost several
good chances before caught yourfopd, dear
grandfather by putting on airs, but learned
how to do it after WHILE"
Buffalo Express: When man goes to an
evening party and another man sits down on
his plug hat, and sits there till the hat re-
sembles an attenuate6 pancake, and when q
mutual friend takes that hat and jams it
into shape and brushes 1t the wrong way
with his elbow, and hands 1t to the party of
the first part, and when the party Of the