The Osceola times., 1878-05-04
The best way to write spring poetry b
To take an axe and chop wood.

THE best way to write spring poetry b
to take an axe and chop wood.
SoME men are like chestnut buru
you must smooth them the right way or
you will get hurt.
1HR Burlington Hawkeye gives this
recipe for the consolation OF poor, lone
females Of Iowa. Just pour gallon
Of whisky on the sitting.room carpet,
and 1t smells as though there was man
around all the time"
A LITTLE boy asked his mother 70 talk
to him, and ray something funny.
How can II" she asked, "don't you
SEQ 1 am busy baking these piesi"
Well, you might say, Charley, won't
you have pie That would Be funny"
A MAN who lost his good character
some time ago was severely hauled over
by rome of his former friends. II know
it, boys, know nv character 10 gone,
lost entirely. And" he added, rather
pointedly, ats too confounded bad, for
1t was the only one in the town worth
saving"
A LADY whose cook went to . wake
was given nOtice q fortnight afterward
that she was going TO be married. To
whom 2" asked her mistress. Please
ma'am, to the husband Of the corpss."
"Why, does he love you 2" was the next
question. "Oh, yes, ma'am; be said ]
was the light Of the funeral"
The funny man Of the Graphic must
be suppressed. He says that Edison has
invented swallow.tail coat that can b
used a. q boot jack. Bubbins read that
statement. and, on Sunday evening, when
Rochester fruittree agent called %
Bubbins' daughter, the old man thought
the youth wore that kind Of coat, and
the result was painful in the extrsme 10
the young man.
TIE Strasburg Gazette relates that
Prince Bismarck, when asked BY foreign
diplomatist to write In an album, found
on the page on which he was requested
to write, the autographs Of Guisot and
Theirs. The former had written have
learned In my life two rules Of prudence.
The 6rst 10 to forgive much the second !:
never to forget" Under this Thien had
put "a little forgetting would mot
detract from the sincerity Of the forgive
ness" Bismarck added, As for me, I
have learned to forget much and ak 70
be forgiven much"
The family we're discussing the play Of
Buffalo Bill the other evening, whom
Grandfather Lickshingle said: "You
can talk as you please, but let your grand
father tell you that It requires histrionic
talent till you can rest for . successful
assumption Of the title role Of this finest
of all dramas in the English Language.
Booth may do when an old played
out king Is to be plugged in the
back with cork knife, and then finished
oft with poison. Mccullough can shut
his eyes and stab his little sickly daugh-
ter Virginia but I tell you when It
comes to standing out In the open stage
and shooting down . whole troupe ~
they make their appearances, not to mem
tion lot OF Injunr, hired for the occar
sion, who bite the dust before they know
what struck them, say when It comes
to this kind oi acting, there's no one ex-
occasion"
A HEN, having laid an egg, was in
forming the universe of the fact, when
q prolific Goldfish rebuked her for her
unseemly eggotism. al" aaid the In
habitant Of the Vastly deep, LAY In my
lifetime 763, 1854, ,927 $3.50 eggs, which, II
they came to maturity and were invested
at compound interest, would, In less
than four years, cover the habitable
surface Of the earth to . depth Of six
meters with goldfish, and, in Ave, convert
the globe itself into one fshball, with
which it would be impossible to give
bread" "Well. why don't they then I"
said the hen I; !" but, Of course, you knew
nothing about the struggle for existence
and checks upon population, 20, my good
sole--I mean cod-you must excuse me
il decline to enter into argument With
vague theerist.' Moral--(Thero is no
moral 10 the foregoing. In Boston II
would be called symposium between
Rev. F. J. Cook and Mr.. Emerson. -
| + New York World. e