Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1878-06-14
THE "USIVERs,L PROYIDER. 4.

one OF LondOn's Institutions Place
Where Everything May be had. From a
Tombstone TO wife.
A London letter to the San Francisco
Chronicle SAYS;
Have you heard of the wonderful
Whitley of Westboune Grove, the
Universal Provider," as he calls him.
self. His is a large block of shops,
which less than twenty years ago started
as a single small establishment in the
millinery and drapery line, and has now
been famous for at least dozen twelve
months. 1t is place outside which, in
the season, the carriages extend for a
quarter OF mile or more, and stand as
many deep as the width of not especi-
ally capsciods street and the vigilance
of the Metropolitan Police will permit;
and where in the middle of the summer,
when the stock of light materials is dur.
ing a few days sold off at cost price w
less, and in the middle of the winter,
when the heavy things are also for few
days disposed of at an lawful sacrifice, 4"
you have to get up in the small hours
and rush off there directly the doors
open if you wish to be attended TO,
Said gentleman the other day 10 one
of the urbane shop-walkers who was at
tending him to the door, after an after
noon spent in the several Quitting de-
partments devoted to his sex, I really
believe you could do everything but
bury me-" eve would bury you with
the greatest pleasure" returned the po-
lite official; "that is-ahem-I beg
pardon; mean if you should be so un-
fortunate rs to stand in need of that
melancholy Office, we have set up an
undertaking branch of business" A
lady once saying in the shop that she
thought she could buy everything there
but leg of mutton and Goals, the man
who was serving her Immediately point
ed to a notice setting forth that de-
partment for butchers meat had lust
been added, and that in another orders
for Goals could be received. A gentle
man unsteady inclined once wrote to
Mr.. Whiteley to ask him to send him
some banjos to look at. In return
civilian Whiteley & Co." presented
their respectful compliments. and
begged to inform that gentleman that
they did not keep banios. On which this
correspondent wrathfully wrote back to
ask how William Whiteley & Co. could
presume to call themselves Universal
Providers if they did not keep banios.
Very soon, indeed, after this snub, the
U. P. s again presented their respectful
compliments and requested that Mr.. So
and-So would be kind enough to call and
inspect their collection of banjos and
other musical instruments.
A young man about to proceed to
India paid the famous establishment q
visit for his outfit, and was set UP with
everything he could possibly require
Just as fast as he asked for it. As he
was writing his check for the whole
amount in the great William Whiteley's
private Office he laughingly said, "Well,
positively, Mr.. Whitley, 1 believe you
have provided me with all I want
save only one thing" "And that p
"Is WIFE" els that all ?" said the
smiling head of the firm. "Would you
care to dine with me at 7:3O at my house
tomorrow? should be very glad, in
deed to see you" "I am sure it will
afford me great pleasure to dine with
you" politely made answer the aston
ished young man, and accordingly pre-
sented himself the next evening at the
hospitable Mr.. Whiteley's town resi- -.
dence. Here he was presented to re-
fined and very agreeable assemblage of
people, and he escorted to the dinner
table young lady, by whom he of
course sat, and who was in every way SO
perfectly charming that, long ere the
termination of the meal; he had com
pletely lost his heart. The sequel NAV
be readily imagined. That young man
sailed for India stocked from the re-
sources of the wonderful Universal Pro-
wider with everything, from socks and
suspenders up to wife.