The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1878-11-07
NOSES MADE TO ORDER.
A Peep into n Paris "Busle" Factory
Aqulline Ornaments on Short Notice.

Aaulline Ornaments on Short Notice.
sympathize with people who have q
nose, observes Paris correspondent OF
the Baltimore Sun. have one myself.
Consequently, when passing through
the Cite du Retro, in that region of the
Rue Boissy d'Anglass known to every
American visiting Paris, I was rather
drawn toward the sign near the photog-
rapher's, which says, "Noses made to
order" We see art brought to the aid
of nature in the shape of wigs, teeth and
few other matters and things I need
not particularize, and we never shou
"thou deceitful one " at the dear in
dulger therein. The art of being agreea-
BILE and looking SO is an esihetical social
accomplishment. So in go to see the
nose machinist. He smiles all over,
and at once sees he has good customer.
Irather, in nasal way, pooh-pooh him.
Bowing and scraping, and squeezing
his hands like a polite ogre, he ap-
proaches and pertly says: : can aqui-
line will suit you, sir" I disdain to re-
ply. but take mp his photograph book of
restored or reformed noses. May the
sanctity of all privacy pardon me, but
the first photograph see is labeled
Mr., Baltimore, U. s. A." Well
there is nasal balm in this Gilead of
the Cite du Retro, and at once I feel at
home. "Pray, sir" I boldly asked,
"what is your process ?" With scien-
tific silence, "mighty mute manner" 1"
as John Randolph, of Roanoke, used to
say, the nose dealer places his hand on
my forehead and pats it affectionately
like Professor Fowler, the phrenologist.
Good frontal cuticle, space large, hair
falling down in freedom you can afford
to have real Roman. sir !" "But tell
me how?" "Well, sir, we cut an angle
of the frontal cuticle, that is to say, an
angle upside down of the forehead skin,
and bring it from the apex over the
nose, and by applying this lotion, that
salve, these unguents and that plaster,
and these bandages, and these washes,
and the following rules of friction, and
this prescription of diet, and these rules
of exercise, in three months you are
another man with another nose." Yes,
1 quietly think, there can be no posi-
b 9 doubt about that, whatever sort the
other man and other nose may be.
"Anything else, monsieur ?" 1 ask.
Looking at ne as tailor does when he
contracts to make six.foot man suit
of clothes at a boys price, the voluble
"we" adds: eyes, to a man of power
full physique, like you, sir, we command
dumb bells, shoulder-boards, gymnastic
exercises, the consuming of sugar and
water only by way of drink Gt imparts
brilliancy to the eyes, and good nose
and bad eyes are failure), and the lib.
eral eating of esh-giving food, and
then sir, what a pleasing personnel ?"
"And the cost of such a nose-a Ro.
man, a full Roman? p "Only $4OO,
SIR" I bow and retire with my own
nose, and mentally embrace all the suf-
ferers that ever came out of the Cite
du Retro, and heartily shake hands with
all the cork-legged men, condoling with
them that they are not completely of the
same flesh and blood with myself and
other deformed ones, and I mentally
kick out the powders, Columbian balms,
bandolines, ingenious paddings, fearful
ly and wonderfully made, and deter.
mine to go through life as I am, but
never emitting to note on noses to
order, as we'll as other matters, orderly
and disorderly.