St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1878-05-10
Squibs.
The wages of sin are never factorized.
Turner's Falls Reporter.

Turner's Falls Reporter.
You cannot always tell by the way
person dresses whether his pew is paid
for.-Danbury Ne,cS.
Now is the time for spring cleaning.
If you have not got a spring, clean out
your we'll.
Things always look very Pacific be-
tween California and the Sandwich
! Islands.
The fire at Toxic, Japan, is received
as great moral lesson, and the city
has ordered some new water pals.
The New York Herald says that now
that the Gettysburg claim has been re-
jected, it is likely that in the next civil
war Pennsylvania will refuse to have
any battles fought within her limits.
Lady on shopping excursion-"Oh,
dear, that blanket is much too good l
want it fol charitable purpOses."1
Punch.
What the milkman said when they
found fish in the lacteal fluid "GOOd
heavens, the brindle COW has been in
swimming again."
81 am acquainted with your brothers.
in-law, sir" said a guileless would-be
reporter of Mr.. Greeley. "Then you
know couple of mighty mean men.
Good morning." responded the philOso-
pher.
The discovery has been made that
the world does not revolve with the
same motion that it did thousand
years ago but it still swings round fast
enough to satisfy the man with a heavy
note coming due.
One of the written questions at re-
cent school examination ,fas: "What
is a relative pronOun 2" One of the
answers was, alt is prOuoun that tells
you about your relatives"
A young man from Connecticut, who
went West year or so ago, has Just
been hanged in Nevada as horse thief
How true is the old adage that ''you
have to go away from home to get the
oose."-COmmerciaL AdUertiser.
We made n mistake in the name of
candidate last week, in trotting out DR..
HOss for state school superintendent,
when it should have been Hass. We
hasten to correct, because, in these
times, Hass ought to make better
race than a Hoss. Most assuredly.-
BentOnuille AdUance.
Uncle Jason, prior to his untimely
death from the accident in the rolling
mill, was oft wont to rub his hand over
the bald spot on the top of his head and
say "De lam kno l like to feel dat
place-it feel so much like dat bile
goose egg ole missus glib me de Eastern
Sunday fo' she die."-Graphic.
When an ITishman was asked how
the wOodchuck made such a long and
crooked hole in the ground without
throwing up any dirt he replied: "He
begins at the bottom to dig, suIe.n
Sam Tilden is that woodchuck.-N. N.
Express.
The New York Bulletin remarks that
zone of the most serious hindrances to
the return of better times is the vast
number of young men adrift in the large
cities who can get nothing to do, simply
because they can do nothing that any
body wants DONE"
letter-carrier in Hartford, England,
stole letter and was sentenced to
seven years. hard labor in prison for the
crime. During the trial it was shown
that the unfortunate man received ONLY
Sl.25 week, and had to walk seventy
two miles in that time. Taking it all
in all, he will probably have about as
easy and lucrative position in prison.
Free Press.
The sheriff, like relentless Nemesis.
is after the relics of the Centennial,
The painting, "Paris by Night,n cover
ing 10000 square feet of canvas, costing
fifty cents to go in to see, and valued
at something short of million, was sold
last week for $3.50, and all because the
owner of "Paris by Nightn could NOT
take it over to Paris by day for lack OF
funds.--Ffee Press.