The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1878-01-24

low in front of his body, and he stood
boldly forward, with the remark:
''Be Cad, these Hastings people may
not be much Intellectually, but their
heads are formidable -
! The champions advanced, each
ready to jump at the slightest crook
of the others neck.
At this moment there was Il shrek.
and a voice was heard crying:
sob! Colt in himmel! Come out of
dat. you gottverdampt hesliche cuss.'
The convention turned and 10
there was Peter Flicker dragging
S.eb. out by the hind-legs from under
the counter; Steb. had the spicket of a
| beer key in his mouth: and as he held
on to it desperately with his teeth the
beer key came trailing after him. He
was swelled about the waist like
Nasts picture of the Democratic IT,
ger after it had swallowed the Repub-
lican lamb.
| It seems that while all hands, inclu-
ding Peter, had been watching the
great international combat. Steb., his
| mind intent on more practical SUBJ
/ jects, had crawled under the counter,
and putting the spicket Of a key into
his mouth had turned the faucet and,
with eyes rolled up in heavenly ecsta-
cy, had allowed the delicious fluid to
stream down his throat until the key
was half empty. In that hour this
world.
/ coln tic
The great globe itself, yea, all which 1t inner
| might have dissolved into thin air
and Steb would have seen it disappear
without a murmur.
"Man may be blest, but Steb was glorious,
Der all the ills of life victorious.
He had reached the summu-nbonum
of existence:-a peaceful retreat, his
mouth open and the beer flowing !!
What more could this world give!
And then Peter Flicker fell upon
him, as the rude Goth fell of old upon
the luxurious Roman; and he seized
him ruthlessly by the legs, those
members for which Steb. had no pres
ent use, and dragged him forth.
Adam when he was expelled from
the Garden of Eden exclaimed .tAnd
must l leave thee, Paradise!" But
Steb was wiser; he took his Paradise
with him; he held on to the beer-keg.
The cat. which had never forgotten
Steb., followed closely after him,
with a wild light in it's eyes and
meauwing piteously.
LET 60 Of dat keg!' shouted Peter.
Steb. spoke not, but his teeth re-
manned clenched around the spicket.
II vii kick der I'd head off him"
reared Peter.
"See here" said John Kennedy,
taking out some change, "here is the
price of the beer Peter. Now give
Steb a fair chance. Start him at the
further end of the store and if he gets
to the front door with the keg still in
his mouth it shall be his"
This proposition was hailed with
general satisfaction. Peter led Steb.
1.-THE beer-keg still dangling from his
mouth to the back end of the store,
and faced him round to the front door
and giving him rousing kick started
him on his journey.
All! Mr.. Editor you should have
witnessed that sight You have doubt
less read Of the Indians making q cap
tive run the gauntlet for his life. II
was nothing to this scene. Steb
clutched the beer-keg nervously in
both arms. The members of the con
vention had armed themselves with
cord wood sticks and new boots; anC
as Steb. rushed down the line thu
blows fell thick and fast from both
sides. AS he passed Major Kennedy
, that gentleman gave him kick tha'
, lifted him ten feet, he flew forward
like jack rabbit. The Major looked
longingly after him as if he would
give $500 for another chance. Ever,
arm saluted him as he came forward
and every foot as he passed. Ever
| little Teddy, anxious to be on the pop
ular side, gave his poor partner +:
whack over the head with a boot as h,
went by. Still Steb. held on to tn,
keg. Every blow quickened his pace
A knot ofspectators stood close to thu
door. Lowell, Spencer, and Clement
among the rest. Steb Jared badly a
their hands, but at last, with many
stumble and buffet, he gained the goa
and passed triumphantly into tn,
street, amid resembling cheers, hi
beloved beer-keg still clasped in hi
arms. The cat followed him.
"Ho! Ho!' laughed Steb, Il woul,
take key Of beer every day on then
! terms!"
4 The crowd formed again around tn
ring in excellent humor.
.Time!' shouted lie Due.
The combatants faced each other
r Fzch felt fh1f q crfSia n al . ri god q =
/. that for good or i'll this round woul
be decisive.
Il Warily they danced around eac
5 other, smiling away cheerfully bu
7 anxiously. The crowd held thei
5 breath. The spirits Of the grea
I dead Of the two nations lowered owe
/. the spot on trembling wings.
Suddenly our Dan let fly his ssbunc
: of fives" and took the Colonel on tn
/ side Of the 'sknowlege box" TN