The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-02-22
Facts and HsancIes.

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The four daughters of York State
man named Pints are known as half
gallon GLASSES.
1t is strange how crowded two
young men will make the largest par
lOr seem on Sunday evening.
A man fooled into buying a pinch
beck watch called it faith, because 1t
was without works, and therefore
dead.
The great question, "Does it hurt a
man to hang him ?'' is thus answered:
''It hurts his reputation"
There is good wife shooting on
Coney Island now, and numbers OF
New Workers propose going over to
enjoy the sport.
1t is asserted of philadelphia that
he died sworn out by too severe mem
tai effort In the study of how to live
without work"
Julia Moore, the S. S. of Mich, now
writes: al consider nearly all news
paper my enemys, and / treat them as
such. i get % poem"
HTake this dime, Hans, for your
trouble" "Yah, now 1 know vot it
means ven you say dos dime is money"
From German paper. ....
A correspondent writes, asking for a
"remedy for an apple-tree worm"
How can we prescribe until we know
what is the matter with the worm?
The enemies of the secretary of the
Interior are now comparing the presi-
dent TO Henry Clay Dean-because
he wont change his Shurz.-Norr.
Her.
What g the difference between the
summer moon and a we'll ordered goat
One shines on the dew and the other
dimes on the STOCKHOLDERS Gazette.
Cincinnati. stills calls herself the
Paris or America, yet Paris does not
call herself Cincinnati of Franch.--
Free press. Perhaps Paris doesn't
know about Cincinnati.
Nothing seems to please a fly so
much as TO be mistaken for a buckle
berry, and II it can be baked in cake
and palmed of on the unwary as a cur
rant, it dies happy.
1 clasped her fair hand in a rapture
of bliss, and thought, o, how blessed
our fates, till looked on the gloves
that enciTcled her wrist, aud round
that, alas, they were Fights"
Mother may go out to skater"
Yes, my charming daughter,
Be sure and not fall on your pate,
But sit down as you ought to-"
John--was arrested on a charge
of vRgrancy. The judge addressed
him as follows: "You have no trade,
you live on nothing, and the police
have found you at 3 o'clock this morn
Ing fast asleep, in an empty lot"
John answered in q mood of resigna-
ton: ''All the carts were occupied
At Mrs. Hayes reception last Sat
urday, IL is related that she asked a
little girl what her name was, "Dora,"
replied the child. swell, Dora," said
Mrs. Hayes, al AM glad to see you"
"YOu'd be gladden." answered Dora,
''lf you knew was from Ohio"
MADAM, do you know that you
possess one of the best voices in the
world ?"said a saucy fellow to a woman.
'Indeed, do you think so?' replied
she, with flush OF pride at the COM
pliment. 81 do, most certainly" con-
tinued the rascal; "ior, If you hadn't,
iG would have been worn out long
ago." For the first time in her life that
woman had not q word to say
Young men who visit their girls in
this deplorable aye of slang should be
careful to speak distinctly. A few
evenings since as Main street clerk
was about to bid his sweetheart good
bye for few days, his emotion nearly
mastering him, he began in an unin-
telligible voice To utter words of love,
when she brought him down from the
sublime to the ridiculous by exclalm-
Ing in loud voice, "What'd yer sey !!
That love story Is yet untold.
A curious study is the consideration
of the kind of men who fascinate Wo-
meu. have known q man, a fellow
with the head and hair of the
tramp, and the dress of doctor witt
a lean practice, a person who wriggleC
like a snake when he walked and haC
a clammy hand, yet this person was
perfect lady killer. One girl was be
trothed to him tor three years, then h,
Tilted her for q new dame. The Kew
love affair ended with tragedy, 10
when in turn he shook the new love off
the restless, grief stricken girl ende'
her troubles forever in a nelghborin,
river. There were other women VIII
AONcu Juc lCllOW AlhOSJ as desperately
Correspondence Cincinnati CONNER
cial.
At the end OF the first year come
the paper; at three the leather; at tn
close OF five comes the wooden; at tn
seventh anniversary the friends assem-
BILE at the wooden, and at ten comes tn
tin. AT the twelve years the silk an
fine linen at fifteen the crystal wed
ding. At twenty the friends gathe
with their china, and at twenty fiy
the married couple that have been tru
TO their vows tor a quarter of q Ger
fury, are rewarded with silver gift
From this time forward the tokens {
esteem become rapidly more valuable
When the thirtieth anniversary
reached they are presented wit
pearls; at the fortieth come the rubie
and at the fiftieth occurs the glorioU
golden wedding, Beyond that tim
the aged couple are allowed to ENID
their many gifts In peace. If, howev
er, by any possibility they shoul
reach the seventy-fifth aOnivery, the
are presented with the rarest gifts
be obtalned, at the celebration of the
diamond wedding. This happens {
only married couples who are riC
enough to command the affection ,
their friends and relatives.
In calm and trustfuI cOnhdeOce the missiO
while ne energetic sexton was a-passir
The seIEices were over, and now had con