Sharp County record., 1878-10-24

for myself. | was determined to try
GREAT London, and, unaided, battle for
myself. In two years John Murray was
TO come back from Australia to fetch me
for his wife, and till then | would be in
dependent. So the day came at last
when, with many tears, we two girls
had to separate, and with aching heart
| left the old Lincolnshire home, and
reached the great dreary void OF Lon
don early one afternoon.
l was not long in finding a place
where l could stay, in the shape OF
second-foor front room in one of those
heart-aching streets near the Found
ling-streets that echo from morning to
night with mournful cries uttered by
venders whose goods it is impossible to
surmise, and with the dismal echoing
tones of the various organs. Sopainful
were these last to me, that often OF an
evening, when | have returned from a
weary, disheartening search for an en-
cagement, and sat alone and hungry,
fearing to spend my money in any thing
beyond the tea and bread and butter up
on which | existed, these doleful strains
cheering, maybe, to sOme-have had
such an effect upon me that [ have sat
and sobbed till, utterly worn out, have
fallen asleep, to wake, perhaps, hours
after, to find it very late, and crawl
shivering off to bed.
As the weeks passed on and my ad-
vertisements and fees paid to the various
registry offices had been without effect,
| used to crawl back TO my room, grow
ing more and more disheartened. [
was always a plain, sallow-looking girl,
and now in my fast-wearing black | be-
gan to feel that | was day by day grow
ing more shabby and weary-looking,
and that my feeble chances of obtaining
post were growing less and less.
l used to sit and ask myself whether |
had tried hard-and knew had-but
it was always the same. Whether ad-
vertised for a situation as governeSs, or
went from a registry Office to offer my
self as companion to lady, it was al
ways the same. | noticed look of dis
appointment as soon as | entered the
room, for | was neither pretty nor
bright-loOking, and my mournful black
helped to sadden my aspect. 1t was al
ways the same-the lady did not think
| should suit her, and in blank disap-
pointment had to return.
And now it had come to this-that
my landlady had grown as tired of me
as the people at the registry offices,
where | had more than once been told
rudely that | was not likely to get a
place as governess or companion, but
had better look lower. That a'ternoon,
evidently suspicious of my ability to
pay, and perhaps disguised with my
miserable way of living, and afraid [
should be left an invalid upon her hands,
she had-rudely, it seemed to mere
quested me to leave.
In my present circumstances | was
utterly Frustrated by the news, ,forI dared
not take lodgings elsewhere; and could
see nothing now but to sell portion of
my scanty wardrobe and 60 back to
beg for assistance from my fathers
friend.
What a change! and how soon had
my hopes of independent action been
lighted! l was heartsore as | felt how
that in that great city there was wealth
being squandered and luxury around
me while | was literally starving; for
my poor living was telling upon me
fast. What should | do? What should
| do?
1t was with weary iteration l had said
those words and wept till tears came no
more, and dull, stolid feeling of de-
spair had come upon ME. | had almost
shrunk away in the streets from the
bright-faced, happy girls l passed, and
at times | found myself asking what had
been my sin that should be thus pun
iShed.
lay awake that nightfor many hours,
watching the light from the street lamp
playing upon my ceiling; and AT last,
towards morning, the remembrance of
words l had often heard came to me
with sad sense of repose, trust and
restfulness, and | believe fell asleep at
last with smile upon my lips, repeat
ing a portion of that comforting SEN
tence ending, care you not much bet
ter than they?"
1t was a bright, sunshiny morning
when l awoke, to hear some one knock
ing at my door, and, hurrying on a few
things, | answered.
"Ah! was just agoing to take 'em
down again." said my landlady harshly;
Some folks can afford to lay in bed
all day; can't. Here's two letters for
you. And mind this, Miss Laurie; |
never bargained to come tramping up
to the top of the house with letters and
messages for you"
81 am very much obliged, Mrs. Rud-
dock,n | said gently, as | took the let