The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1878-03-16
VARIETY.

A gentleman called upon a wealthy friend for
a contribution. '' Yes, L must give you my
mite,'' said the rich :. You mean the
widows mite, [ suppose replied the other
- To be sure do The gentleman continued ::
- will be satisfied with half as much she
gave. How much you worth?' ' Seventy
thousand dollars he answered. 80 Give me,
then, q check for thirty-fve thousand that
will be Just half much the widow gave,
for she gave all she had" That was a new
idea to the wealthy merchant, SO he contributed
Literally.
An EPISODE OF FASHION, What time is it
NOW ?'' called she from her room upstairs.
Two hours yet before theatre time" re-
piled the husband from the sitting-r room down
stairs.
"An right said the wife moment after,
appearing by his side, you'll have just time
TO finish buttoning my new gloves above the
elbow
And like brave little man that he was, he
IN, .kled the task, and it was the hardest part
of ali his hard days work. But they never
tbel,.s got to the theatre before the first act
finish ed, and she was happy.
.sOhl oh! oh!'' excIaim Mrs. POdger,
:. isn't it pretty, and how much it looks like
it's pa pa, too Why, just exactly his nose, l
could never mistake it anywhere. And eyes,
too. an curly hair in its neck, exactly like
him. ANYBODY who has ever seen him would
not hes itate to identify his baby"
Ode ar me, do you think SO = said the baby s
mother.. family, s' that is Mrs. Browns baby
who rooms next to me. It's just about the age
of mine, and the nurse brought it in to show
babies but don't see as it looks particular
ly like my husband
The above leads one to wonder If the resem-
bIance of any young babies to their ancestral
nropeuitors is not very much Imagination after
all.
A bashfuI young man called on Is street
tLa aft
exhaustipg the usual stock subject of the
weather. they both sat and looked at the lire
for several minutes. He at length concluded
10 introduce the great question OF shortening
the shifts of the stationary engineers from twelve
IN EIGHT hours. So he squared around and re-
marked. with manifest sef-confdence Do
Won favor the movement for the shortening of
shifts on the Comstock?
IS What?'' exclaimed the girl, Strengthening
up. a.
,oeryousIy. :. think that the shifts too long.
AS far as am concerned, never found. 'em
so, and I'd be willing TO let 'em stay as they
are"
Here the girl Indignantly rose up and said
that she didn't consider it any of his business
how long a shift should be. and if he had no
more delicate or appropriate subject to discuss
- might take walk. He slid through the
az about ten seconds afterward, with coat
80 = 1t In hand, and 1t not until he had
oaI-o5 his mother about the matter that ne
IeaTnsa h 9w his innocent attempt to enliven the
coryersation- had been construed. He is now
O sadder man.
That FETcuE.D HN.-In one of the Western
States a man vas brought into court on a
charge of assault md battery, presented by bis
wife aud his Honor asked him why he struck
her.
8 She called me wO rthless, lazy lOafer; but
that wasn't it.
"WeI?'
50 She said our whole fan 1ily wern't ft for
fish bait but didn get mad at that"
''What was it, then -
Sc She shook her fst under my nose, and said
was too lazy to die, but l knoiyd she was
excited and let that pass. She's got fearful
temper, your Honor
90 wish to know if you had sufficient cause
for proyocatiOn, said the court.
81 guess | had, Judge. She came close up
and spit in my face, and said l was meaner
than pizen but didn hit her for that
What then?"
81 know'd her temper, and sot there and
whistled Hold the Fort and was bearing
with her, when she turned round and gin my
coon dog the smashingest kick lifted him right
Out'n doors onter his head. That fetched me.
Judge, if there had been forty lions and camel
an the road, I'd have skinned her or died try
.aDO -