Stevens County tribune. (Morris, Minn.) 1877-1880, 1878-04-11
Mr.Miller'S Twins.

They we're in the parlor-car, just ready
to start for Pittsburgh, with the twins
Mrs Miller happened to remember that
she had left her satchel with tue candy
woman in the ladies' room, 50 she asked
Mr.. Miller to hold the children for a
minute, while she ran out to get it. Just
as she reached the waiting room the train
started. Miller did entertain faint hope
that she might have jumped upon the
hind car, but no, she did not appear, and
he began the journey in condition Of
frenzy, with baby upon each knee.
To add to the horror of the situation,
he remembered that the nursing bottles
and the other baby appurtenances were
in that very satcheI Mrs. Miller went to
get.
For awhile the babies were good. The
passengers eyed him a little, and he had
an unpleasant feeling that he was pos
sibly regarded as kidnapper; but he
bore up under it bravely. About twenty
miles out, IvanhOe, one of the twins, be-
gan TO cry. Trying to soothe him, Miller
let Polycarp, the other baby, tip over, so
that it was necessary to catch suddenly at
him and bring him up with jerk. This
set Polycarp to crying, and Miller kept
both of his knees going in an effort to
quiet them. But the harder Miller iolted
the louder the twins cried.
He felt as if he would like to sing to
them, but he was ashamed to do so before
the passengers. So he gave Polycarp his
watch to play with. That quieted Poly
carp. But Ivanhoe clutched at the watch
Il Al Dbl
over 1t. This induced Polycarp to tune
up, and, between them, the watch drop
ped on the floor. While stopping over to
pick it up. Miller let Ivanhoe drop, so
that he bumped his nose against The
arm Of the seat. Ivanhoe lifted up his
voice and wept, and Polycarp gave
equally violent expressions TO his emo
ton.
AJiller felt certain they were hungrey,
but there was not morsel of food on the
train, excepting gingernuts that the news
boy had for sale, and he knew they would
set the babies stomachs aire. Beside,
they had no teeth Miller had a notion
recklessly to cram them full of the fine
cut tobacco he had in his pocket, and to
steel his heart to the consequences.
But Just then the train stopped. Put
ting the babies on the seat, he rushed
out and bought two slices of peach pie,
the only Wand for sale and then he
rushed back with it. Polycrap was on
the floor, head downward, and Iyanhoe
had swallowed three inches of shawl
strap. He Strengthened them out and
stuffed them with pie until their eyes
buged out. It was effective for while,
but pretty soon they began to cry with
the stomach-ache, and in a few moments
both of them we're sick.
Miller began to feel that death would
be a welcome relief from all this woe.
He began 20 wish he had remained single
But there was nothing to do but to
stand it.
When night came, Miller put the
babies, grim with dust and cinders, and
smeary with pie, into the berth with him
They cried all night, and the atmosphere
OF the car was heavy with improper adj
jectives hurled at Miller and the twins
by the sleepless and excited passengers
In the morning as they glided into Pitts
burgh, Miller found that Polycarp had
gotten turned around, and had been lying
on top of Ivauhoe, kicking his heels in
1NdunOG 16tGC NuiIuS LuOoL VI InO u1SAL
When he shouldered the twins and
walked out into the depot, he felt as if he
looked like a tramp. He didn't dare tt
90 to a hotel lest he should miss Mrs
Miller, who would be certain to come or
the next train, so he sat down in the room
to wait for her. A crowd began to gather
around him, nc, to watch him with curl
-ooesiry and policeman, who was about t.
collar him and run him out, was restrained
only by rehearsal of his sad story.
Mr.. Miller waited there eight hours
feeling certain that the twins would b.
dead by the time their mother arrived
He was utterly miserable, and he knew
she would be nearly frantic.
A train entered the depot. A momen
later in walked Mrs. Miller, bright, chip
per and smiling. She said:
why, John, what's the matter? Ain
you weIl2'
Saint I well2"
1.-The babies, too, they look awfully
What on earth have you been doing t
them2"
Doing to them?' replied John, gettin
angry.
"Why you haven't taken bit of car
of them, + declare" said Mrs. Miller, be
ginning to cry. ''I'll never trust you wit
the dear little darlings again"
Miller rose. He planted Polycar
firmly in one seat. He soused Ivanho
down in the other. Turning to Mrs. Mi
Ter with tragic air, he waved his han
and said:
"There, madam, are your little darling
yorr internal little darlings! Take cal
of them yourselfF'
Then he pulled his hat over his ey'
AMI walked grandly out, resolved to con
NIT suicide on the spot But he didn't
he returned in half an hour and took ii
family to hotel; but he has registered
VOW never to travel again withouta nurs
--MaS Adeler, in ". Y. Weekly.