The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1878-05-31
HUMOROUS

pew il pald LOT. -.
A cousumptive wants to know II
the Pullmanairy cars are reai'S
good for long journeys.
II doesu't necessarily follow that
n hen.pecked husband is a rooster
More likely to be IA goose.
The Sowell Comi Ter gives as the
modern definition of domicile "the
ulace where taxes are lowest"
"Moncy,n says the Boone Demo
crat. sis the missing link between
orr subscribers and the editor"
The watermelon is not yet; but
| the pungent radish occasionally
scoops in Il small and dyspepsia
victim.
The Norristown Herald insists
that no man likes to hold a girl
baby in his arms until she is sev-
enteeu years old.
Young ladies, if you must wear
pins in the back of your dresses at
all. put them in with the points to
wards the lett. No charge!
People who attempt to cut board
iug house pie crust with a FORK
should remember that time thrown
away can never be regained.
Circuses are Il little backward
this season. Only five OF them are
the "biggest show on earth" Eacn
of the other six is simply "the most
aggregation OF the road"
Widow Doubleton, having red
that "parlor matches" are extremely
dangerous, has ordered her daugn-
fer 70 take her beau into the kitch-
en- and do her counting there here
after.
The prayer of the Norman might
suit the spirit of IL own time. 1t
was .kind heaven, | do not ask for
wealth; only to be placed within
arms length of some man VINO
has it,"
When the royal baby of Brazil
cries his nurse remarks, III pure
Castillian, "Now, You LUZ Maria
Philippe de Alcantara Gastao MI
guel Raphael Gonzaga, you just
keep quiet"
The new gun invented by DIR.
McAllister, OF Mississippi, shoots
1000 balls a minute and eXterml-
Mates several regiments at "A time.
1t takes the medical profession
after all, to depopulate ii country.
"There is no truth in men," said
a lady in company; ''they are like
musical Instruments, which SOUND
a variety of tones" SIN. other
words, madame" said a wit who
Glanced to be present, "you believe
all men are Tyres"
A young nan suffering from
"hercditary govt" said he didn'
mind the pain of it so much, "bat,'
said he, "the thought that some
! old ancestor had all the fun of &C
q, curing this precious heirloom il
=. what takes hold of me-"
Out in Nevada a young wife il
Eureka asked her husband to TAKE
her to the circus, but he refused
and said, ave lost four wives al
! ready. and you're the fifth, an'
aforc them circus fellows get her
Pm goin' to chain you up"
The inventor of the phonograpl
. saws the speeches of our congress
men a be preserved in tin fol
and ground ont for the delectatiol
0 of future ages. 1t is going to b
y very unhealthy for the mar VIII
9 does the grinding out II hundred
0 years hence.
A tutor OF a college, lecturin.
% a young man on his irregula
% conduct, added with great patho'
o "The report of your vices will brin
" your fathers gray hairs with sol
row to the grave" 81 beg you
pardon, sir" replied the pupil; SIN
father wears a wig"
10 The eccentric genius who d.
lights in statistic says every ma
eats on an average eight busheI
of wheat in the course OF q yea
We could point out men who COZ
I" sumo at least twenty-five bushe.
of corn in the same time, but the
don't take the trouble to chew it.
Two boys, one of them blind
an eve, were d~iscoursing on I'll
merits of their respective natter
elbow many hours do you get ft
sleeps" said one. Eight" sal
n the other eight! why, only g
' four" "Ah! but recollect 70
have only one eye to close, and
have two"
In a duel the wrong man inv
q riably gets killed. And yet II
man who is wrong invariably live
Then, again, how IA a man {
~ wrong and at the same time due
Still once more-but we might
well quit while we can. At al
rate, what a language is ours f
several reasons, isn't it'll Yet, v
swear, we're not to blame.
A doser.-Sergeant-major: No
Private Smith, you know very we
none but officers and non-cOmmI
stoned officers are allowed to wa
across the grass! Private Smitl
But, sergeant-major, Pve CAPITA
Graham's verbal orders to" S,
ergeant major: None o that, 81
~ Show me the captains verbal
ders; shown to me sir!
The recent Sioux war cost t