Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1878-04-11
Pastine.

Pastime.
Some women use paint as flddlers
use rosin. TO aid in drawing a beau.
Don't you think, said a husband,
in mild form OF rebuke to his wife,
~that women are possessed by the dev-
il?' ~Yes. was the answer, aas soon
as they are married"
An Iowa schoolmistress has been
discharged because, for the amuse-
ment OF the children during recess,
she stood on her head. One of the
trustees chanced to see the feat
Two little girls were comparing
progress In catechism study. II
have got to original sin" said one.
@How far have you got?" @Oh. I'm
beyond redemption" said the other.
@Have you a Chaucer?" asked a
young lady, looking in at q book
store. The polite clerk replied no,
he never used it; but there was q
tobacconist's just two doors above.
A Montana justice Of the peace
dosen't spluree any when he marries
couple. He says. arise! Grab
handsl Hitchedl Six dollars!. And
that is all there is to it.
@Tommy, what does bench
spell?" Don't know ma'am."
what. you little numbskulll What
are you sitting on?" Tommy docking
sheepish): Don't like to tell
Somebody says a baby laughing in
Its dream is conversing with angels.
Perhaps so; but we have seen them
crying In their waking hours as
though they were having a spat with
the devil.
Frank Haitian wrote a scathing
letter from Washington to the Bur-
lington Hawkeye, and the funny man
Of that paper headed it. sDishwater,
in which the administration is Bap-
tized."
Dentist, to an old lady about to
purchase some false teeth: sFor
mastication, my dear madam, they
can only be surpassed by nature
herself" Old lady; 20 laws, doctcrl
don't care nothing about mastica-
ton il I can only chaw with EN-"
A tramp dropped in this morning
and meekly inquired the location of
the town Of Thunder. he said that
whenever he asked for work he was
told @to 60 to Thunder" and he sup
posed they wanted hands there.
aThe times are hard, my DEAR"
said man to his better half, ~and I
find it difficult to keep my nose above
water" "You could easily keep your
nose above water" returned the lady,
'if you didn't keep it so often above
brandy"
"What a nuisancei" exclaimed a
gentleman at q concert. as q young
fop in front OF him kept talking in a
loud voice 20 a lady at his side.
did you refer to me, sir?" threaten
ingly demanded the fop. "Oh, mol
I mean the musicians there, who
keep up such q noise with their in
strumerts that can not hear your
conversation" was the singing re-
ply.
A Lowell man who lost his good
character some time ago was severe
ly hauled over by some of his former
friends. II know it boys. / know
my characters gone, lost entirely.
And" he added rather pointedly, "its
too confounded bad, for it was the
only one in the place worth saving"
Snipkins refused to get his wife q
new hat and soon after his little
daughter came In and said: "Mam-
ma, won't you buy me a monkey to
play with when you go down town"
mo, darling, wait till you are older.
and marry one. as I did," replied the
grief-stricken wife. her tears bursting
forth afresh.
The time for going fishing is at
hand, and many a man who hasn't
time to cultivate garden has CON-
menced hunting up his old fishing
tackle. After wasting four or five
days in the woods. and $25 worth OF
provisions, he will be seen coming
home with half q dozen small cat
fish.-Erchdnge