The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1878-06-26
HALF AN HOUR OF AGONY.
MR THUMBLEDIRK's TERRIBLE PREDIoA.
MENT.

Mr. THUMBLEDIRK' TERRIBLE PREDIoA-
MENT.
Yesterday afternoon Mr.. Jasper
Thumbledirk, who is forty-three years
old aud unmarried, dashed into our
sanctum and evolved remark, the in
tensity of which fairly made our blood
curdle. And when he completed the
remark, which was neither very long
nor remarkably complicated, he picked
up dictionary, hurled it at the proof
reader with great asperity, and before
that good natured and greatly abused
angel of the editorial staff could recover
from his emotion and get his umbrella
Mr.. Thumbledirk was gone. He dashed
out of the door, missed ike stairway and
stepped down the elevator, falling dis
tance of three stories, but he was too
mad and excited to get hurt, and We
heard him rushing away down the alley,
yelling aud swearing till he was out OF
sight aud hearing. AS he is usually q
very severe man, of habitual reserve,
very particular and guarded in his Ian
guage, we were amazed not only at his
words, for which his excited manner af-
forded not the slightest explanation.
During the day, however, we became
possessed of certain facts which may
give the reader some clew to the causes
of this worthy and respectable citizens
violent and disrespectful manner and
language.
1t appears that about two o'clock in
the afternoon, Mr.. Thumbledirk drop
ped in at the Union depot to ask some
questions relative to the arrival and de-
parture of trains, and while passing
through the ladies' waiting room, he
was accosted by lady acquaintance who
was going east on the 7. P. & W. at
half-past two. She wished to go up
town to make some little purchases, but
didn't want to take her baby out in the
rain. Would Mr.. Thumbledirk please
hold it for her until she came back
She wouldn't be gone more than FIVE
minutes, and little Ernest was just as
good as an angel, and beside, he was
sound asleep.
Mr.. Thumbledirk, with a strange fut-
ter of his feelings, lied, and said he
would be only too delighted. Then he
took the baby, and the ticket agent, who
has two, knew by the manner in which the
man took the baby and looked anxiously
from one end of it to the other to see
which end the head was on, that he had
never handled a human baby before in
all his life, and promptly closed his win
dows to shut out the trouble that he
knew was on the eve of an eruption.
Mr.. Thumbledirk is a very tall, dig
nified man. He was rather annoyed as
the mother disappeared through the
door to observe that all the women in
the waiting-room We're intently re-
garding him with various expressions,
curiosity predominating. He sat down
and bent his arms at the elbows until
they resembled in shape two letters V's,
with the baby lying neck and heels in
the angle at the elbows, and he looked,
and he felt that he looked, like the hide
GUS pictures of Moloch in the old Sun
day-school book.
Mr.. Thumbledirk felt keenly that he
was an object of curiosity and lily re-
pressed mirth to the women around him.
Now dignifed man does not enjoy be-
ing laughing stock for any body, and
it is especially humiliating for him to feel
that he appears ridiculous in the eyes of
women. This feeling is intensified when
the man is bachelor, and knows he is
little awkward and i'll at ease ssin the
presence of women, anyhow. So, as he
gazed upon the face of the quiet, sleep
ing infant, he made an insane effort to
appear perfectly easy, and to create
the impression that he was an old mar
ried man, and the father of twenty-six
children, he disengaged one arm, and
chucked the baby under the chin.
About such chuck that you always
feel like giving a boy with ''putty
blower" or "pea shooter" 1t knocked
the little rosebud of a mouth shut so
quick and close the baby couldn't catch
its breath for three minutes, and Mr..
Ullvu, Ilad kbo,,r,I4 ,;4l n afrano,a