The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1878-03-28
From the Chicago Times.

From the Chicago Times.
Your reporter, following the in
of his chief, made his way
to hell and knocked at the door of the
DEVILS residence, q three-story brick
fronting on an ill-payed
court. There were two withered trees
in front, and q basket containing six
potato peelings q bad onion, and the
half of an envelope, the superscription
on which was illegible, owing to the
with which it was so long
- stan1ine in tie area. The
key-hole was Of brass, slightly scratch.
ed, as if from the frequent use Of a
night.key. ~ kss
Being informed that the devil was
ct home, your reporter presented his
name, and Was ushered into the pres
ence of a dignified gentleman in black.
Reporters have certainly done injus-
tice to his satanic majesty.
He is prepossessing in appearance,
aud has q soft, pleasing voice. His
eyes are very bright and brilliant. con-
sisting of two glowing Goals. (Erie nut
l should think), and his nose, though
of the highly Roman order, is not out
of proportion. When he speaks his
countenance lights up with a kerosene
lamp glow, (asbestOs burner) and were
it not for the responsibility of his
clothes and general department, he
MIGHT READILY BE TAKEN FOR A CON.
GRESHAM.
His lcaudal appendage is the only real.
ly remarkable feature about him. 1t
lays gracefully curled up around his
legs, and as he rose to receive the re-
porter, came gently to the ground
with faint sswish.' During the in
terview that followed, he frequently
toyed with the extremity of 1t; some-
times tickling his hand, and again
meditatively sucking It like q gentle
man often does the head Of his cane.
The reporter bowed politely, and.
aware that he had difficult subject to
interview, said:
SIT right still; don't move or I'll
blow your brains ont. Eye only call
ed to ask q few questions upon the
subject that Of course you are anxious
to tell the public all you know about
it. Now you just answer them as
briefly 40 possible, please.
your majesty is well aware that re.
Gently there has been considerable ag-
itation relative to your kingdom, pre-
sumptuous mortals having denied it's
existence entirely, to the horror and
misery of many of your most ardent
supporters. who assert that they will
remain faithful to you till the death. /"
AYE, true,' replied his majesty, Il
have heard something Of this. But.
young man, when lot of upstairs 60
back on Calvin and others who have
kindly shown people the way here,
they lose my respect and sympathy,
entirely. Pshi What nonsense What
would the world do without hell
How would good people ever get re.
paid for all their goodness or haye sat
isfaction out Of bad people? Where
would lots of folks go to? Talk OF
abolishing hell why it Is as neces-
sary as the churches
sThen it is in existence yet?'
OF course, certainly. There has moi
been the slightest intimation from
headquarters about abandoning it,nol
do I think the government has evel
entertained the idea for q moment
Why, the department is more popular
and useful than ever
SIS it self-supporting?'
'Yes, aud has been some times. IL
patronage is increasing daily
'Of what class are your patron
principally from3' -,
'Oh, no particular class. We hav
them from all grades Of society. Per
haps less
POOR PEOPLE THAN OTHERS, -,
but that 10 not fact to be deplOred.'
1 'Indeedf Always supposed tbs
/ moor neOnle nredominatad. an mover