River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-09-05
Wit and HumOr.
.ost al ZINC SION. Of land.

Lost at sea--The sigh. Of land.
/: A great moral show--The hypocrite.
Motto for the married Never despair.
Categorical misunderstanding to
yhe pmrpGss
Ia its recent fall the temperature did
nor hurt itself.
A deafmute barber is the JOY and pride
:if Shreveport, La.
The defauIting cashiers motto--Non
eat is the best policy.
What kind Of ship has two mates and
GO captaiRl A courtship.
What man must have his glass before
he can do days work. A Glazer.
An exchange says: "a button is a
small event which is always coming off"
. If a man is knocked over by COW,
scan ne no, he said to get free milk
,punchi- Pack.
Cyprus is about as large as Connect.
cut II anything. Connecticut is a nut
Hmeg greater Courier Journal.
The three degrees in medical treatment:
Positive, i'll; comparative. pill: superla-
tive, bilI-Neto York Medical Times.
Brother Jasper, the Virginia philoso-
pher who holds that the sun moves, is on
the move himself because he couldn't
pay his rent.
With the exception of deliquent sub
scrioer, everything is about fortnight
earlier than, usual this year. Cdeaongo
AmericaW.
What's the difference between the
prince OF Wales and water in fountain7
One is heir TO the throne, and the other is
thrown TO the air.
A Wisconsin church has been aided by
"erand religious boss trot" This is an
Improvement on the grab Dag and lottery
business
An Illinois lawyer who charged q
widow S25 for making out a bill of sale,
reduced his bill TO s. after the widows
brother bad taken off his coat,
II never knew convict tn put any en-
ergy into hymn singing, unless he was
PLANNING 70 escape" says an ex-cOnvict
. from the Ohio penitentiary.
An Iowa farmer. worth $40 1000. started
out four wears ago TO secure legal revenge
on a neiehbor. The lawyers have it sll
1ow. while he has revenge.
Nevada papers, instea' OF speaking of
deceased citizen as being widely and
favorabIy known, remark There wasn't
. saloon keeper in the state who didn't
ache to trust him "
At a paisian hotel during the EXPOSE
ton Msddened guest Sixteen francs for
! a candcl Courteous host: No, sir, one
franc for the caLdlc; fifteen francs for the
candlcsick, Milford
In the lobby Of am Irish inn the follow
lag inscription is painted on the wall in
conspicuous letters: mo person will get
credit for whisky 10 this house but those
. who pay money tgwn.'
! Brandy has been made from sawdust.
Ice is packed in awdust, and that is why
10 many water drinkers be- anne intoxicat-
ed. II is the sawdust on the ice that
/ makes the good man reel.
( The Graphic reiteraies the assertion that
il is only the female honey-bee which
carries singer, hut are men 10 respect
sex when half dozen bees are trying 10
squeeze doxn behind No Is collar2
TIE har dkerchiei business must DO
! stopped The Rochester Express says:
'-S0me fellows are so sensitive that man
I cannot blr,v his nose without their think
I ipg he is tr5 ing 10 flirt with their girl.
When al English paper captures an
. American coke it chops off the head,
! chisels out The point, sets it up backward
ard gives iis readers a dish Of wisdom
: that tastes like fresh meat after long
! sea voyage.
when the sQualien homeward flies is
: usually when good marksman lodges
! blackin2 brush on the starbosrd quarter
! OF the high tenor If the Fetts troupe III
+: the back yard .-Philadaphta Bulletin.
"D9ctol DOCTOR painted a messenger,
! come duEn the street, quick; there's a
. man druPped in o.. In an apopiectic2
questioned the doctor me, SIR; he's in
u buster, answered the messenger.
Never uader any circumstances marry
] for money BE very careful. though, to
find out beforehand that the girl has
<plcnty Of Is tp have induced you TO mar
sry her for money il you had been that
ssoFt Of "a ftllOw.-L0uisDflle Courier
;Jqurh1l.
J Another advantage ia moonlight nights
.for lovers is shat the brightest radiance
enables tie Young men 10 perceive the
sign Of the dangerous ice-cream saloon
from a remote distance, and consequently,
by turning down some other street. save
;himself.
! II admit said tne drauatist to
another. that he has wit. but il is haayy
$wit1 sHaag7 witl What difference is
Aherc betweea heavy vii and anv 0: er
klad Of wig Precisely the difference
3tat there is between a smell AMI per-
Tume."
+: Cherry ram refuse thrown in the yard
Df Bangor woman was eaten bg turkeys
cha. apparently died from the effects
After beng plucked they were thrown
snto heap on the grass. On the next
snofniDg teey we're found walking around
sha ward IL updress.