The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-07-26
" Ridin' on a Railroad Keer !

"Is's no use talking" remarked
An Erie brakeman the other day to
Gazette reporter, "they were the
most loving couple 1 ever saw on
a passenger train, and I've seen a
lot Of them in my nine years on
the hind brake. She had half a
dozen sticks of peppermint candy
wrapped up in a paper, and about
every ten minutes she would take
him around the neck and pull his
head down, and putting a stick
between his lips, insist on him
takin' a chaw,' when he would re-
ply, ''Marier, 1 bought them air
candy fur your benefit and faint
right that your hubby sh ould eat
it all up and then a struggle
would begin, ending in his biting
off a small piece and kissing her
at the same time until they both
were in state of perspiration and
peppermint.
He had one coat tail pocket fill
ed with peanuts, and a satchel be-
tween them on the seat contained
doughnuts and apples from which
store both eat continually until I
began to wonder where it all went.
The difference in their size was
considerable, he being a small man,
while she was a great, strapping
country girl, a good head taller
than he and at least forty pounds
heavier. Every time the train
stopped she would exclaim, Now,
John, what's going to happen?
You'll pertict me John, won't
your and his reply, 'Marier, Pl
pertict yer; hain't broke on top
fur a year fur nothin'; don't be
scarf, duckey, which remarks at
tracted the notice of all the pas
sengers and kept them in a con-
tlnued liter.
ave were tagged down near
Hampton, there being a block of
freight trains from some cause,
and when we stopped just west of
Hampton high bridge, a freight
train was standing on the east
ward track, and the females head
was out of the window in an in
slant with the unvarying remark,
you'll pertict me, JohnT A coup
lie of brakemen sitting on a box
car discovered her fright, and
thought to add to it. SAID one:
"Was ye hearing, Barney, What
the boss was sayin,' that if liver
two trains got on Hampton
bridge at onst it would go DOWN.
"Yis, Mike / was hearin, that
same, and by the powers here'l be
No. Eight and our train on the
bridge at onst. God help the pas
sengers.
"This was enough. With a pro-
l0nged shrek Marier threw herself
upon John with the cry, you'll
pertict me, JohnP Being so much
heavier than he, and coming SO
suddenly, John was tumbled on
the seat and they both landed in
the aisle, she on top and shrieking
as II killed. The passengers were
frightened, not knowing what was
the cause OF all the fuss, and as
she continued to cry, John, the
bridge is goin' down, q number OF
passengers thought something was
the matter, and for some time q
scene Of great confusion ensued.
ave had started on by this time
and when i went in the car the
train was going 20 miles per hour
and there they lay in the aisle, she
screaming and he halloing, AL
right, Marier, I'll pertict your Fol
some time couldn't make out
what was the matter, and as al
ways had a liking for striped
stockings, (always wearing then
in warm weather) and they seem
ing to predominant, didn't inter
fere in what seemed to be a freC
tight, but one ofthe passengers ex
planning the matter, / fially went
mp to them and taking her by the
arm quietly lifted her up, at the
same time telling her we were over
the bridge safely. She looked uI
and exclaimed, Mister, me and
John was married this mornin,
andif We 90 to heaven we want tc
60 together / assured her there
was no danger OF either going tc
heaven yet a while, and John BY
this time having found his feet
assisted his wife TO arise and also
helped her adjust her bonnet ans
other things that had become dis
arranged in the struggle. Som,
Of the passengers laughed, som,
made remarks, and thought the,
had received the value OF the mon
ey paid for the ride in enjoying
he circus.