The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1878-05-04
mo. 26.
An Sorts.


Hard to beat-The spring carpet.
Mitier than the sword-Cheese.
The hangman's vegetable-Ths
art o'choke.
Corn fall in the grain
market.
An on-nest hen IL the noblest
work of poulterer, says the Wor-
cestcr Press.
"Walk in love.n Put the comma
after i'll and see bow the sense will
be altered.
Experience will teach any man
that it is advantageous to patronize
those who advertise in newspapers.
A Mount Bethel township farmer
cut open an old hornets nest, just to
examine the inside arrangement.
He says he thinks he will be able to
see his barn in about two weeks.
: "Have animals sense of humorf"
asked an owlish exchange. Ger
taiply they have. You'll always find
that jackasses are ready to laugh
immOderately at the poorest jokes.
Hearing of a recent expectation OF
a large invoice of young frogs from
this country to England for breed
ing purposes. suspicious CORES
pendent wonders if it tsdpolical sig-
nifcance.
When o man goes to . quilting
party about tea time, and sits down
on a ball of wicking with long
darning needle in it, he will think
of more things connected with darn
ing in a minute than he can mention
in two hours. 7
A teacher in the public schools
was explaining to the children that
usually all words ending with "let"
meant something small, a. stream
let, rivulet, hamlet, etc. Where
upon a smart boy asked If hamlet
meant small ham.
"Oh! my frieuds,r exclaimed Q
temperance orator, "that I had .
window in my heart, that you al
might look in and see the truth Of
what tell your "Wouldn't pain
in your stomach do just ~ wellf"
asked small boy.
A country pastor said to one Of his
feminine congregation: "Are You
net happy 7" ayes, sir" she replied;
III feel as though / were in Beelze-
bulbs BOSOM" s'No, not in Beelze-
bulbs 2" swell, some of the Patri-
arclls; don't care which,"
The man who set up all night
weighing ton of coal with pair Of
strelyards, and by the pailful, to
see that he bad received good weight
thought he was ahead few pounds
unit he remembered he had not de-
Quoted the weight Of the pail.
DR.. johnson dined with q Scottish
lady who had hotch -potch for din.
ner. After the doctor had tasted IL
she asked him if it was good. "Its
good for hogs, ma'am," said the doc.
tor. "Then pray" said the lady,
''let me help you to some more"
Copy was ont. The devil picked
M a paper and said, "Here's some.
thing About woman'-must ! cut
it out Z" "Noi" Numbered the cd.
itor; ''the first disturbance ever ere.
Nted in the world was occasioned by
the devil fooling about woman"
An iliterate person, who always
volunteered to ego round with the
hat" but was suspected Of sparing
his own pocket, overhealing q hint
once to that effect, replied: "0ther
gentlemen puts down what they
thinks proper, and 90 do I. Charity's
private concern, and what give
is nothing to nobody"
"Stranger, will you try Q hand
with us at poker I" "Thank you,
gentlemen. but there are seventeen
reasons why cannot accommodates
you now" Seventeen reas0ns for
not playing cardsi Pray, what arc
they 2" "Why, the first is havn't
any money! stop! that's enough;
never mind the other sixteen"
A party who was looking at .
house the other day, said he couldn't
afford to pay SO much rent. swell,
look at the neighborhood,n replied
tho wo,o.n ssvou can harrow Far.
irons next door, coffee and tea across
the street, flour and sugar on the
corner, and there's big pile of wood
belonging to the school-house right
across the alley!".
They got up surprise party on
a young married couple, ct whoss'
house in Swampoodle a similar affair
WAS one OF the social successes Of
the last season. The conspirators
were met calmly but cordially at the
gate by the husband, who rested on