The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-08-22
He Knew Too Much.
AN OSHKOSH INCIDENT WHICH SHOWS THAT
HUSBANDS OUGHT TO KEEP OUT OF
THE KITCHEN.

OF the numerous eminent citizens of
Oshkosh there is none who is more de-
serving of respect than Mr.. Johnston.
Not only is he an amiable and upright
man, but he is gifted with remarkable
inventive genius. AT least such is his
opinion, and those who are not person
ally acquainted with him rarely deny
that his opinion is right. Mrs. Johnston,
however, does not regard her husband as
an able inventor. She admits that he
means we'll, but she asserts with much
emphasis that when one of his inventions
comes in at the front door it is time for
her to fly out of the nearest available
window, if her life is really worth saving.
Mr.. Johnston has always maintained
that his wife's lack of faith in him was
due to an unfortunate accident that oc-
Cured in connection with an attempt
made by him to manufacture rice grddle-
cakes. AS he justly says, cooking has
nothing to do with invention, and that it
is unjust to discredit his inventive genius
simply because he once made a mistake
in cooking. The circumstances of the
affair were these: Mr.. Johnston, who
had repeatedly found fault with his
breakfast, remarked on one occasion that
his wife was absolutely incapable of learn
ing to make rice griddlecakes. Where
upon that indignant woman announced
that she should refuse to have anything
to do with the next days breakfast, aud
should lay the whole burden of its prepar
alton upon her husbands shoulders. "Of
course" she added, "you know how to
make rice cakes better than the Angel
Gabriel, and you can just show, for once,
what you can do"
With great courage Mr.. Johnston I'M
dertook the unwelcome task thus thrust
upon him, and made his preparations
with intelligent care. There were eight
persons in his family, and, as he estimated
that each one would eat pint of rice, he
decided to use four quarts of rice in mix
ing his griddlecakes. To the rice he
added four quarts of buttermilk and a
quart of hot water, besides few handfuls
of flour and Indian meal, in order that
the cakes should look brown. He then
reflected that it would be necessary to
add to the mixture something that would
make it light, and, accordingly threw in
teacup of cream of tartar, an equal
quantity of saleratus, and half a paper of
baking powder. Having thus mixed his
cakes to his satisfaction, he placed the
pan containing the mixture in warm
corner of the kitchen and left it to "rise."
during the night.
There is no doubt that it did "rise."
Moreover, the rice swelled. On going into
the kitchen the next morning, Mr.. John
ston found that his rice cakes overlooked
and covered the floor to depth of at
least foot, while in the immediate neigh
borhood of the pan pyramid of batter
reached nearly TO the ceiling. That
morning he breakfasted on dry bread
and water, and subsequently employed
three Irish women to clear the kitchen,
and an Irishman to carry away the miracu-
lous batter Naturally his wife tainted
him with his culinary failure, but the I'M
prejudiced mind will admit that it ought
not to have cast any discredit on his in
ventive powers.-N. Y. Times.