Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1878-09-19
PastiIne.

Why Is the letter 81" never too
late?-Because it is always in time.
"'Tis sweet to love but oh how bitter
To love girl and then not git her."
A western baseball club has a
player named Buckwheat. He is said
to make an excellent batter.
Beauty and bootyi" was the cry of
the young man who kissed the girl
and was kicked by her father.
A man who calls himself hunter
shot deer in the Adirondacks the
other day. He subsequently stood
over a farmers dead horse and
shelled out $5O.-Norlcich Bulletin.
Beautiful, beautiful, silken hair, how
1 wonder where you aire, whether
you belong to the head you adorn, or
whether from another girls head you
were torn.
A man was Dragging how much he
could stand, but when red-nosed
man standing by asked il he could
stand treat, he weakened and was ST.
lent.
An agricultural society offered a
premium for the best mode Of irriga-
ton, which was printed Irritation"
by mistake. A farmer sent his wife
to draw the prize.
A German writer says a young
girl is fishing net. The eyes are
the hook, the smile the bait, the low
er the gudgeon, and marriage the
butter in which he Is fried.
Tell us not in mournful numbers
That this life Is but dream;
When girl that weighs one hundred
Gets outside quart of cream
And then wants more
-EEmira Gazette.
@Why didn't you put on a clean
shirt before you left homer" called
out an impertinent young fop to an
omnibus driver. cause your mother
hadn't brought home my washing
was the extinguishing reply.
Some recently discovered inscrip-
tons on the burned bricks bring to
light the astonishing revelation that
King Ahasuerus hanged Haman be
cause he invented the ACCORDION, and
put'the price down to one dollar and
seventy-five cents, so that every man
might have one.-Burlin9ton Hack
eye.
A man may sneer at a woman all
he will because she can't sharpen q
lead pencil, but she has the smile on
him when he stands holding a sus.
pender button in his hand, and won
dering whether it will hurt less to
pull the needle out Of his thumb the
same way it went in, or push it on
Observation-Disclosures Haickeye.
A new Duluth 1Iinn.) city ordi-
nance gives the awful warning tina:
@any cow sporting bell or ringing
the same within said limits shall, up
on conviction thereof, be subject to
fine or imprisonment. or both, at the
discretion of the court"
E. Questrain, giving rein to his
humorous fancy, said to his wife, IF
you don't stirrup your coffee you will
loose all traces Of the sugar, and sad
die be the consequence" Mrs. E. Q.
didn't like the remark bit, but she
bridled her temper 80 well that no
one could tell by her carriage that
she was little sulky.-Aduertiser.
The following letter was recently
written by boy in Augusta, z years
OF age, to his uncle In Savannah
dear uncle Georgia please get me a
newfoundland dog. | want puppy.
hope you are well like am. I go
to school now and have recess. am
bad off for dog. send him az soon
as you can, send my love to you for
christ sake amen. send boy dog.
ROBERT s. H
Ben Wade, when he was travelling
westward, interviewed lank coun
tryman psddling cakes at small
station in the alkali region.
well, vas stranger, I low we've
got ,jes as fine c patch o. country
as can be fetched In Americy. ] cal
culate all we need is water and GOO
society A
"Humphl that's all hell needs" an.
swered the crusty Senator.
Cut this out and Save Ii.
A correspondent writes as follows