Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-03-20
HuInOr.

Never take bull bi the horns. yollno
man, but take him bi the tale; then yon
kan let go when you want to.-Joh Biz
ings.
In reply to the question, "WiIl the
coming man be bald ?" the MorristOwn
Herald affirms that che generally is
when be first comes"
"Tell your mistress that I've torn the
curtain" said ledger to a female do
mestic. every well, sir: mistress will
put it down in the bill as extra rent
An old maid in the West End lost 8
favorite cat by death, and she had bis
skin stuffed for a pillow-a new vari-
ETY. Of caterpillar Cincimaatj Saturday
Night.
First girl: Did you have pleasant
ride? Second girl: O. middling. First
girl: What was the trouble? Did VIII
act cross? Second girl, behind her fan
No, but he hadn't shaved.
A certain little damsel, being aggra-
waited beyond endurance by her big
brother, fell down upon her knees, and
cried: 80, Lord! bless my brother
Tom. He lies, he steals, he swears.
All boys do; us girls don't Amen"
Every day or two the telegraph an
nounces that somebody has discovered
a new asteroid. Which indicates care
lessness in not sprinkling ashes on the
sidewalk Courier.
A lazy boy, near Stanwix, has con
quered the kindling-wood question. He
Just backs his fathers best mule against
the woodpile, and throws the milking
stool at it.-Ronae Sentinel
When they get telephones in the
hotels it will refresh the weary traveller
who is sent up the fourth floor to sit
down quietly and impart to the clerk
down IN the office his private opinion
of that frnctiOnary;s conduct.
When Mr.. Baker took to wife
buXom little dear,
He fenced her in with both his arms,
And whispered in her ear;
Now, 90 promise thee, my love,
Neer from thy side to go;
For like all bakers. little one,
daily need my doe
-TOakerS Gazette.
We never realized how awkward,
how needlessly stupid, how excessively
and deplorably faulty nature is, 50
strongly as whenwe reflect on the pain
full fact that she never has been able to
create man that will fit q custom
made snirt.-Haackeye.
"Sir," said one barrister to another,
" [ often meet a servant in the morning
taking two drinks to your room. Do
you always drink in duplicate % "Sir,
replied the other, II order two drinks
every morning, and when [ have drank
one | feel like another man; then. sir,
am bound by courtesy to treat the other
man, SO drink the second"
A very little boy had one day done
wrong, and he was sent, after maternal
correction, to ask in secret the forgive
ness of his Heavenly Father His Of
Tense was passion. Anxious to hear
what he would say, his mother followed
cents she heard him ask to be made
better; and then, with childlike sim -
plicity. he added: "Lord, make ma
temper better, too
Old Lord Elpinstone was asleep q
church, while the minister, q very addie
headed preacher, was holding fortl
At length the parson stopped and crie6
"Waukin, my Lord Aphinstone?" "Tr
no sleeping, minister.'' "But ye az
sleepin'-I wager We dinna ken what
said last ?" aye said, "Waukin, NJ
Lord Aphinstonc." Gay, av, but
wager We dinna ken what [ said afo-
that" g [ wager We dinna yersel."
The art ofadvertisilg is being broug
down to a decidedly fine point; al
When an agent sends you an inch
vertisement to insert at your very 10
est rates, and accompanies it with s
inch local notice, which he wants
in for nothing, you can't help but
mire his acreage of " cheek" and w
you had gun that would shoot hi
dred miles and kill the fellow you:
thinking of, without taking aim.-N
ristoara Herald
SUNSET IN THF HARTZ MOUNTAINS
Standing on the cliff, eight hund.
foot q hOyo tho vallav Co loOlyo6 do