Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1878-05-16
W1t and Hzt7,10z..
"a want of the age'-=Hair.

| "A Want OF tnC age -=Half.
Motto for a cat show "Come to the
scratch.''
4 England gives Russia blow for blow
Both are great blowers. ..
A dull razor and returned Californian
are always well strapped.
If money could be borrowed as easily
as trouble, what happy world this would
be.
A Dutchman being Informed that GER
tain painting was by Bierstadt, enquired,
'Who beers dat?'
Spring poetry may be written on both
sides of sheet of paper. The waste-bas-
ket is not particular.
Lynn, about politician never hurts the
man lied .sbout-it is having the truth told
that kills him.
We read that burnt alum will cure dys-
pepsia, and reflect how sad it is that
dyspepsia does not know it.-Rome Senti-
mel.
| A sollum camncss steals around, a dred
orecums the sole, wen in my pockets
depths sound, and onli find hole
Hawkeye.
Old Deacon Dobson always boasted that
he was prepared for the worst" and his
neighbors thought he got it when he mar
ried his second wife.
President Hayes will stay in Washington
this summer. 1t doesn't make any differ
ence to him where he spends heated
term. He has all the elements of GOODNESS
within himself
An enthusiastic Indiana editor wrote at
ter the convention, The battle is now
opened;' - but, alas the intelligent COM
positor spelled battle" with an TO-" and
his readers say that they have suspected it
al along.
A man wrote to the Buffalo Erpress to
say that he wanted the paper but had no
money, and, Offering to send for it two
un.ler,hirts, worth So, which We're present
ed to him. but were too small. lie got the
paper.
While reading few chapters in Noah
Webster's entertaining novel, we learned
that when they embalm Il man they fill
him up with aromatic spices. Now we
know why a man chews cloyes-he's en-
balming himself
An Irishman approaching school
hnnsn, sns ,inwing it with solne curiosity.
when the janitor, who had noticed him,
put his head out of an upper-story window
and asked: Ibid you think this was a
church, Paddyf'' ''Begorra, did, till
saw the devil" replied Paddy.
St. awberries are four dollars a quart in
New York. On account of the open VIM
ter, plumbers and ice men will not be able
to purchase the delicious berry until the
price falls dollar or two. Editors just
reyel in 'em.-Norristown Penn, Herald.
Deacon Norwood Ito Elder Tompkins)
-"Ycs, sir; q man with hope and with
out no faith is just like young man in a
row-boat who amt got only one oar, and
rows around and around in circle, and
don't get nowhere Small boy Cat a safe
distance)-..If he warn't darned tool he d
scull"
The most enterprising piano manufac-
turers in this country have already prepar-
cd their circulars announcing that they
were awarded the ''first grand prize" at
the Paris Exposition for the best and
sweetest-toned instrument.
The editor Of the Worcester Press has
one pocket for his gold and another for his
silver. That was the policy we adopted
when we commenced the printing busi-
ness. These pockets are just as good to-
day as they ever were, but we have worn
out one dozen and halt pairs Of panta-
loons.--Erehamge.
An Individual suffering from dyspepsia
calls at ply ysician's house during his con-
sultation hour. The practitioner examines
him and declares: II see how it is; you
neeG great deal of exercise /; but perhaps
your business does not leave you time.
What is your occupations" Il have been
letter-carrier for more than twenty-five
years."
An absent-minded man in Monroe, Con-.
went to church the other morning with his
overcoat. as he supposed, ON his arm, but
the laughing of the people in church di-
rected his attention to the fact that he had
taken his everyday pantaloons, nnd that
the suspenders attached to them were
dangling about his legs.
Curran was once disputing a point of
law with certain judge who had written
several silly political pamphlets, when the
latter sneeringly alluded to the formers
scanty library, Curran replied; IL would
rather read few good books than write
many stupid ones.'' If you say another
word Ill commit you," shouted the irate
Judge. alt would be the first good thing
you ever committed,'' was the reply of the
witty attorney.
Sirandin is a wag as well as confection-
er in Paris, and is as bald as stone. The
other day he met friend whom he had
not seen for twenty years. Sand has ev-
erything gone well with your he asked.
.sYes," answered the friend, s'only have
lost all my hair.'' swell, ''said Sirsndin,
taking off his hat and showing his own
shining poll. ''you surely wont accuse me
of ha wing found it,"
Mark Twain, in his January Atlantic ar
ticle, pronounces an india rubber tree
which be saw in Bermuda, a fraudulent ar
rangeinent, I, because its branches bore Meth.
er SHOES, suspenders, nor any other india
rubber fruit "f that description. He also
saw mahogany tree which he doesn't cal
fraud. Therefore We infer that its
branches were loaded down with pianoes
bureaus, cabinets, centre tables. and othel
mahogany fruit of useful kind.
English EreoDaoonn.
The Grand Lodge Of Freemasons o.
} England, Lord Carnsrvon presiding, unan
imously passed resolution refusing to re