Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1878-07-11
llCJIOl: OF THE HOUR.

HCIIOE OF THE HOUR.
Parents with large family, ali boys, car
look on the sonny side OF life Picayune.
Made of awl work-shoes.- Ex. We al.
ways thought they were made of leather
[Norristown Herald.
A young mans S sweetheart having ''soured
on him." he now calls her his sweet tart
Yonkers Gazette.
A man down in Taunton has been walking
on the water. He must be a sort of rePeter.
Il Boston Post.
An editor offers reward OF five dollars
for the best treatise on GLOW to make Out-
door life attractive to the mosquito
"Every phonograph now has pretty girl
attachment That is what makes 'em
'pretty dear. - Norristown Herald.
Annie Louise, the sweet warbler, is one of
Mother Carey's chickens. Has Annie body
else chicken so valuable. Boston Post.
Mrs. Fortune, of Halifax, has given birth
to twins--girls. Of course Miss Fortunes
never come sinSly.-- Cincinnati Breakfast
Table.
1t is thought in the West that trees produce
high winds; probably because Ewes birch
! caused the first hurry CAIN New York
Graphic.
Zone hour to-day is worth two tomorrow
because there may be base ball game that
will occupy all your time.--[New Haven
Register.
II our Southern breezes are so set against
contraction why won't they stop diminishing
the size Of their strawberry baskets p Low
ell Courier.
''The poem of the woodcutter," sent vus,
appears to be written in log -arhythn, and
with no proper axe sent Boston CONNER
cial Bulletin.
Wilkic Collins new novel is entitled The
Haunted Hotel. So it would seem that hash
! is not the only mystery IN that tavern.-l Nor
ristown Herald.
Jonah was not obliged to pay remit Yon-
ker's Gazette. No; he was aboard'er. But
he didn't like to pay overheard before it was
DUE Graphic.
The man who wrote "Revolutpns never
20 backward" had never turned somersault
over the tail-board of farm wagon.-INew
Haven Register.
The phonograph is to be utilized by adding
that machine to all the clocks in the house,
so as to accompany their striking with appro-
pirate remarks as to dinner.
The gait of horse does not swing on
hinges. [Hackensack Republican. Doesn't
IL, uOW ATc yOu VI tuot! Ou udu
better study hossteology.-[Graphic.
4 man reading that the Paris Exhibition
requires an area of 642, 900 meters ex-
claimed, "What gass bill they must havete
pay ~ Cincinnati Breakfast Table.
The Breakfast Table man says 'there are
four quarters in everything but the Fourth
of July" Will he tell US if there are four
quarters in hind quarters ?-[Graphic.
Barber (apropos of customers beard)--
Eyes, great improvement, indeed, sir, since
you took our Balm of Illyria.' Of course
you will take another bother" Customer
(dryly)-"No, thanks haven't tried the first
yet
s'Have you damp sheets in your house q
asked guest of a manager of fashionable
hotel, as he registered his name. ''No," re-
piled the manager, ''but I'll have pair
dampened for you if you wish" The
stranger retired.
They said to the father of one Of the prize
winners at the Conservatory: $50, your
son has earned his spurs." eyes," replied
practical old man, 'and now he has got to
earn his boots"
When is newspaper editor that is hard
up for new matter like Krupp? We say
when? Qntermission of seven minutes.)
Why, when he makes up his column-by-ads.
-[Philadelphia Bulletin.
"Brave men, wise men, true men = shouts
the Newark Journal. ito the front :" Thank
you, thank you kindly. Now if the usher
will please show us right up to the orchestra
CHAIR Burlington Hawkeye.
Edison has perfected fog-horn that can
he heard ten miles, but when it comes to an
invention for getting his hired girl up in the
morning, he smiles sadly and falls to musing
on the infinite. te.-[Utica Observer.
A very beautiful and stylish American lady
has married the son of the great Frenchman
modiste. 1t is not often that remarkable
beauty and great Worth are united. but this
is an instance. Patterson Press.
Jones says that he bought at church fes-
tival a strawberry short cake, but it was
mighty hard to recognize it as such. 1t
hadn't even q strawberry mark by which to
identify it.-[Philadclphia Bulletin.
doctor, Doctor" painted messenger,
.:Come down the street, quick; there's a
man dropped in fit." s'In an apoplectic?"
Questioned the doctor. "No, sir; he'sin~an
ulster" answered the messenger. Boston
Com. Bulletin.
..Whisky is your greatest enemy" said "a
minister to Deacon Jones. 'But," said Mr..
Jones, s'don't the Bible say, Mr.. Preacher,
that we are to love our enemies 2" 'Oh,
yes, Deacon Jones; but it don't say we are
to swallow them. -
A farmer in Ireland told Gladstone that
lord Leitrim was bad man and oughtto have
been shot before" .And why wasn't be
them" asked Gladstone. "Begorra. says
the farmer, 81 suppose what's everyoody's
business is nobody's."
The young man conscripted on the N. T.
Fleming zeegrans has tried thus:
There was young lady named Smedly,
Who conceived for Max. 8. love deadly,