The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1878-04-06
HUMOROUS.

JANE DKDMAN was red-ha1red girl,
And handsomer than she
Could not be found for ten m les round
This glorious eountree.
Jane courted was by Jim Malone,
And they were going TO wed;
But James hair set Jim's breath afire,
And busted off his head
A SPRING croak cuss-The bullfrOg.
GOOD name for a d-cutter-Hugh.
FEBRUARY, March = Camden Post.
So that April May.-Oa City Derrick.
WHEN is a watch like cork? When
it's a stopper.-Judy.
HENS come into the world by the
hatchway.-N Y. Graphic.
NEVER confide secret to your rela.
tives; blood will tell.-6oston Traveller
KING HUMBERT owns 800 horses. He
seems determined to establish stable
government.
"KNoT for Joseph" is the picturesque
headline the Chicago Times puts on 10
seph La Pages taking off.
FABLE is much worn for dresses
They should be trimmed with assets and
liabilities. Boston Post.
MANY people are busy in this world
gathering together handful of thorns to
sit upon.
HERE is salutatory of new edito,
down in Maryland: "What / have t.
say to this community will be said grad
ually."
THE bald-headed negro was not elected
member of literary club, because ht
was "black- bald Hackensdck Repub-
hc1n
A MAN of easy temper having been
pushed into vinegar vat, philosophical
ly remarked that he had only an acidu
lated drop.-Fun.
THE following laconic epitaph, carved
on a Spanish tombstone, should be re
membered, " / was well, / tried to fee
better, took physic, and here l ann
In western city the married ladies
have formed Come home-husbanC
Club" 1t is about four feet long, anc
has brush on the end of it.-NeW YorJ
Telegram.
IT is just as honorable to found bust
ness successfully ON credit, as it is to hole
up the top end of ladder by resting il
against rainbow Whitehall Times.
CLERK (giving change) Have you
penny, sir? Swell" Haw! Dom
genewally cawwy coppers" Clerk
"Then | am afraid must give you elev
en- of 'em, sir Punch.
Now that the telephone makes it pos
sible for sound to be canned the same a
beef, milk, Holsters, fruit, ETC., mission
airy sermons can be bottled and sent t.
the South Sea Islands ready.,for the tabl,
| ,ro+aa1 &c ha ~, l.;
THE Detroit Free Press wipes tea
from It's eye as it sobbingly remarks that
when the Akhond of Swat was in thi
country, he used to delight to come VI
to that office and paw over the exchange
from Swat. Everyone up there, it adds
liked the old man.
ONE of the fashion magazines says
| When YOU see woman balancing her
self on one foot, kicking the other wildly
out behind her, and skillfully swoop III
in her hands fan-tail train, don't b,
alarmed; she isn't going to have a fit
she is about to cross twelve-inch gut
! Ter.
A YOUNG man in New York consulted
fortune-teller, and asked what b,
should do to succeed. "Do right" wa
the answer. He did write, his employ
er's name on the back of check, and i
now in Europe, with twenty-five thou
sand dollars weighing down his pants
pocket.-Bridgeport Standard.
AFTER the rain one evening Somer
set woman found her husband on hi
hands and knees in the back yard, tryin
to crawl through a puddle. In tones o
anguish she asked him what he was dc
ing there. "Sh!" he said, "the d'rec
cable is broke, an (hic) I'm grapplin
for it."-N. Y. Herald.
A POPULAR doctor of Utica, Will
escorting a young lady home the othe
evening, attempted to relieve her cougl
and sore throat by giving her troche
He told her to allow it to dissolv
gradually in her mouth. No relief wa
experienced, and the doctor felt quit
chagrined the next day when the lad,
sent him a pantaloon button with note
saying he must have given her thu
wrong kind of a troche, and might pos
sibly need this one Utica (N. Y.
Herald.
A New YORK Herald man had tn
rheumatism, and in just on-half hour b.
learned that the following will cure it
Iodide of potassium, quinine, CLAUDE
salts, onions, raw lemons, baked lemons
raw silk, oiled silk, gin and tansy, Turk
ish baths, potato carried in the pocket
an eel-skin tied round the leg, suit O
red flannel, chloroform liniment, no
water, cold water, hot lemonade, tri
south, a dry atmosphere, equabIe tenn
perature, sulphur baths, mustard an,
hot water, camphor liniment, electricity
OF certain eastern ex-governor
pleasant story is told. Once upon
time he visited Worcester and Gale,
upon an acquaintance, who owned man,
fine pictures The ex-governor wen
about the room examining these, unit
he came to painting of the Madonna
hanging above the mantel. He peere,
up through his eyeglass. "And who
er-is-this?' he inquired. "That,
said his acquaintance, " is Madonna.
Ali" said the ex-governor, handy
Is she a Worcester Lady,?
An Economical Wife.