The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1878-03-14
W.T. AND HUMoR.

ming as prophecying.
The latest slang is; Hes a good fellow,
but he's bit off more than he can chew"
A man at a church fair the other night
cried out. I've got the oyster. Gimme
the prize"
The art of living easily as TO money ia to
pitch your scale of living ono degree below
your means.
Joaquin Miller is trying TO find out why
an eight-day clock can't be syolutsd up 10
run nine days.
Tito boots" says Josh Billings, liz a
luxury, in that they make . man forge. ali
his other miseries."
Mrs. Partington is credited with saying
that few persons nowadays suffer from
suggestions of the brain.
Punch, in his dictionary, gives tho deari.
ton of the word " conscience :" MY rule
for another mans conduct"
Rubies aud diamonds are the fashionable
jewelry just now, but a grea. many people
don't find it convenient to DO fashionable.
Says an exchange: "a bed cold makes
all men equal" Yes, that's SO. There's no
aristocracy when we come 10 tho caughin'.
The times are so hard that an Irishmsn
sayshe has parted with all his elegant ward
robe, except the arm-holes of an old waist
coat.
A young man in San Francisco put out
one of his eyes while taking of a ahirt, a
spiral stud doing the mischief. Moral
never wear o shirt.
Rowel's Newspaper Reporter is down on
dog-fights. The editor is probably q ons-
legged man and can't get into the first circle
to see the fun.
A poor young man remarks that the only
advice he gets from capitalists is to live
within his income" whereas the difficulty
he experiences is to live without on noome.
Grace Greenwood speaks of the unplsas-
ant odor of the hair of the laborsrs in the
quicksilver mines. 1t may be true that his
head is offensive, but the rest of the labor.
ing man is sweet.
The following conversation took place re-
Gently in q hotel "Waiter?" Eyes, SIR"
What's this "It's bean soup, SIR"
mo matter what it has been, tire question
is what is it now?"
Josh Billings says: "Paupers suffer less
than mixers do; the man who don't kno
WHARF he IL going to git hiz next dinner,
suffers less than the one who ii anxious to
kno how mulch it IL o going to kost him."
What did the Puritans como to this
country for ," asked q Massachusetts, teach.
er of q class in American history. "To
worship in their own way. and make other
people do the same" was the reply.
A Paris paper says Baron, the singer, is
of unusual height, SO tall, indeed, that when
he went the other day to consult a doctor
about q severe cold in the head, the physi-
clan said my friend you must nave got
your feet wet last year"
When a Baltimore craft set sail for yir.
ginia the other day she struck on q bar, and
the crew lived on frozen turnips for two
days. They want to get hold of Dio Lewis,
who says there is ninety-seven per e Of
nutriment in frozen turnips.
A negro having been brought up before c
magistrate, and convicted of pilfering, the
magistrate began to demonstrate, "Do you
know how to read ?" Eyes, massa-littIe.'
well, don't you ever make use of ths
Bible 2" Yes, massa, strap him razor on
him sometimes"
The Norwich Bulletin says: when Gre
nation becomes more guneral, it is going "a
be very convenient to have the ashes Of .
relative handy to sprinkle on the Sidewalk
winter mornings:
Imperial Caesar burnt to aahes
May serve to prevent sidewalk smashes.'"
One of the latest and most laughabls
of what the pleasant players call "nev
readings" is that of the man playing Iago,
who. when Othello asks, SIS he not hon.
est ?" has to reply, Honest, my Lord? il
an ~interrogatory manner, instead of which
the Iago read it thus: Honest! M!s
Lord
was walking along the banks of the Seine
with her protector. Suddenly she said tc
her companion: Tell me, where does THU
watsr go?" Into the sea- but, then,
why doesn't the sen overflow 2" "Guess.
Well, I can tell you. Because in the SEE
there arc so many sponges they suck it al
up"
1t is n great blessing to nave a helpful
wife. There was once n half-witted fellow
who informed his father that he was aboui
to marry. Why, Charles" said the ole
man, you cannot support yourself. VIVA,
a fool TO think of getting married" g!
know it, father replied Charles but !
can pretty nearly support myself, and i
does seem as if II wife ought to help m,
some"
The Sc. Louis Republican, in espon to
an appeal from an afflicted correspondent
suggests several expedients for repelling tn,
social pirates who organize parties and pre-,
upon their hapless neighbors. A BULLDOG
does very well grease on the doorstep il
ye." g~ective; pals of water flung out of /
window domr rs the ardor of assailants
;u g.. ilttery attached to the bell-wiri
amr.~n. T.; a smallpox plscard is not t,
10 Il. r., t..
Nine. y. Was in the habit of consulting
her physician daily, between the hours q
two and three. The doctor was a witty an,
charming man, and they talked of ever.
the doctor came, and was denied admit
lance. He thought there must be som
mistake, and ordered The servant to An
nounce him again. This time the lady sen
down q very polite message, informing tn
doctor TINT " she was grieved beyond meas
ure at being obliged to deny herself tn
pleasure of his company, but she was yer.
ILL" t.. ....TH =