Smyrna times., 1878-01-30
Sanscript's Dinner Goes on a Bust. |"

When John Sanscript went down town |
last Saturday, his wife asked him to bring
back with him small quantity of rice.
How much will you have?'' asked the |
grocer when John called for the succulent
berry.
"Well, | guess ten pounds III do" said
John. "I'll get enough to last the old
woman several weeks" he added somewhat
doubtingly.
The grocer hesitated, looked quizzical.
and finally weighed out the ten pounds of
rice.
"This is new kind of rice, Mr.. San
script" he said, as he put string around
the paper " 1t swells three times as much
as Louisiana rice, which you had better tell
your wife"
"All right" said John, as he turned to
greet friend. Two minutes later he had
forgotten the reminder of the careful
grocer.
When he got home John found the
house deserted, but a humming fire was
roaring in the kitchen stove, and he knew
Mrs. S. had just stepped into the next
house to exchange gossip with Mrs. Mul-
vaney.
"Ill just put this rice on to boil,' solil-
oquized John. "It'll please the dame to
see me 20 thoughtful, and may be she'll get
me good supper"
An ordinary iron pot with several pints
! Of water in il sat on tho stove
I'm bet six cents Maria put this very
pot on the fire for the purpose of boiling
the fruit"
He tore hole in the paper package, and
emptied the ten pounds Of rice into the
vessel.
"That's pretty full, but the rice has
plenty Of room to jump about. I'll just
step over to the meat store and buy a
porter.house steak
AS John approached the house, on his
return with the meat, he began to snuff the
air.
smell something burning. Wonder
if that burned rice had water enough on
it."
He hurried into the kitchen, and what a
sight was spread before his eyes! The stove
was covered with rice. The sides of the
pot were full Of rice. Rice was dripping
down upon the floor. The cat was sittn,
under the table licking rice from its back
The grains Of rice were chasing each othel
over the pots rim like so many ants, and
for every one that dropped upon the stove
twenty more seemed to rise up and tax,
its place.
|, Heavensl what pickle" cried John
"Tll have to use the other pot.
! But the other pots capacity was no
, enough. For every tinful of the rice Johl
! dipped out of one pot into the other tw
tinfuls of rice seemed to jump to the SUI
, face. In less than minute both pot
. were slipping streams of slippery grain
:, upon the stove.
I" I'll fix it," wheezed the desperate mar
getting out the wash.boiler and slammin
it on the stove.
. Then he began to dip again. First OF
. Of one pot, then out of the other, into tn
q "@oH-c ~ "hS AlhO OhS vi
:, sea-the more rice he took out the fastt
=, the internal grains seemed to slide down o
! the stove.
. "Shades Of Dsmetrius preserve me !"
! This exclamation was drowned out b
= the discovery that the boiler was full an
also running over. Then Sanscript su
: rendered. He wiped his moistened bro
= with the dish.towel, and sat down to gath,
II his breath. Meanwhile the rice continue
to swell and make room for the low,
grains, until the stove and floor were cove
. ed an inch thick. At last the fire in Il
;, stove was extinguished, but still the riC
;. kept creeping and swelling. When Mr.
:, Sanscript finished her chat with Mrs Mu
- vaney and returned to her kitchen, 81
), found a wretched man trying to lift fro
If the stove a wash-boiler full of rice whiC
t9 refused to quit boiling over. Poor John
o. suffering for his ignorance. He has had not
70 ing since then to eat but rice, and Nj
~ Sanscript swears by her back hair tn
as she'll cook him nothing but rice till Il
g, ten pounds are consumed, which, the Vi
NJ tim has calculated will be some time Il
~ last of next March.-C Cincinnati Enquirer.
h