Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1878-08-21
Humorous.

uUMOrOuSs
The average New York communist
smokes six loaves of bread daily. -Gncin-
matt Commercial.
They sell milk at Glens Falls for two
cents a quart. The water-power in
that village is not used for manufacture
ing purposes.
Correspondent "B. f. b." who sent,
us contribution entitled, ''My Lyreis
flushed" is informed that we are glad
of it. r,
Let us hear from the man who hoes
ten acres of corn per day,-Detroa Free
Press.
We usually draw hose over ten acres
OF corns per day.-G,uphic.
Genteel joke The New Orleans Plea
y,tae informs us that there are more
ladies than gentlemen in Salt Lake
City. ,io .l ,u..le,f....
To get figs from thistles: Reduce one
ton of thistles to seventy pounds of pot
ash. Then sell your potash for cash.
Then take the cash and bny figs
C0uier-Jomadi
"rhe cat in gloves" said Franklin,
catches no MICE" Indeed no;not she.
When the cat is able to wear gloves she
can afford to buy her mice, ready
dressed and cooked. Bully for the cat
in gloves. -Burdette.
"How old are you % asked conduc-
tor of little girl who was trying to ride
on half-fare. II am nine at home, but
III the oars am only six and n half"
A lecturer, addressing q mechanics
institutute, commended that Art could
not improve nature" when one of the
audience set the whole audience in II
roar by exclaiming: How would you
look without your wig?"
Littio Oracle was dressed one day in
the whitest of dresses when, being left
alone she began to investigate coal.
bod, getting inside, and rs black as pos
sible. When her mother came back,
she, seeing her look Of amazement,
dropped on her knees, put her little
chubby black hands before her face and
said, 80, Lord, give us patience"--and
heidi. AT least Oracle got off easily
that time Elchange.
"A young man al Ryo Beach, while
smoking cigar few days since, had
great difficulty in making it burn.
After he had been trying some time he
tore il to pieces. Inside the wrapper he
found n two-caliber pistol cartridge.
The bullet was pointed toward the
mouth end of the cigar. Had he been
successful in making the cigar burn
but few moments longer an explosion
would have occurred, as the cartridge
was already heated Opelika (Ah.) o.
server.
The New York Times tells OF a hen
whose eggs were deposited in an mac
cessible woodpile, and were successfully
Matched, though the hen was obliged
to "set" on stick of wood several feet
above them. The authority for the
story is excellent; but we should not
have believed it if the remarkable event
had not been located in the glorious
climate of California. Buffalo Express.
Why cast doubt on the story? That
hen Just went through the stick of wood
with her little hatchit.- Philadelphia
Bulletin. e
A philanthropic citizen of Memphis
mas just welded u Miss Hoss. He doubt
less took her for wheel or whoa.-N. Louis
Journal. And took her on q bride
tour, of course. He is said to have
fallen in love with Miss Hoss by seeing
her carte dc pisite-that is, he saw the
carte before the Hoss.--Noristown Bul-
letin. If you fellows don't rein in your
poetical steeds the owner Of that Hoss
may ride along and start n graveyard
som ewhere with his little hoss-pistol-
New York Commercial advocate. He
, will find himself saddled with respon.
} sibility soon enough, before he's driven
2:4O by himself in that manner.
Yesterday, when the black clouds
gathered in the north, and betokened
the coming of a thunder storm, citi-
zen who was coming down on Jeffer-
son avenue car, remarked to an elderly
man beside him: "a storm is portend-
ing" "Hey?" inquired the other. ~
say there are tokens of n Storm" con-
tinued the first. "Hey," was the brisk
inquiry again. appearances indicate
Storm" exclaimed the citizen a trifie
embarrassed. Hey! What did you say
about indelicate?' queried the other.
There's going to be thunder Storm"
: shouted the citizen, dropping his big
words all of a sudden. "AR! Now /
understand" said the old man; "going
to be thunder storm. Well, what do
you want me to do about it?'-Detroa
Free Press.
Bismarck's Little Joke.