The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1878-05-28
THE PHONOGRAPH.
An Evening with the Machine In a
Western Home.

days, and Mr.. Barstinglow was inconsol-
able. At one time he protested that she
should not go; he could not indure the
lonesome house during her absence.
And then again, he declared that if she
must 20, he would neglect his office, and
let his business 90 to the bow vows, and
he would 60 with her. At length, how
ever she persuaded him to be reasonable,
and on her repeated assurance that she
would not remain away longer than three
days, he consented to let her 60. He
even bought her ticket, and ordered the
carriage and paid for it two days ahead,
lest his resolution should give way and he
should forbid her going from him. And
from that time till the morning of her
departure Mr.. Barstinglow spoke in sub
dued tones, and moved about with the
air of man whose heart was buried I'M
der mountains of grief.
Before she left the house, Mrs. Bars
tinglow set the photograph in the sitting
room, behind the clock. Then she kissed
her disconsolate husband, and begged
him to preserve his precious life for her
sake while she was away, and then she
was gone.
Every day, during her three bays visit
in the gate city, she received a letter
from her mourning husband, begging
her her to return, and telling her how
lonesome he was without her, and how
like a grave the empty house seemed,
and how the hours dragged over his
aching beast with leaden feet. And in
three days she came home, and filled the
solemn house with sunlight and laughter
again.
The evening after her return to Bur-
linet, " she took down the photograph.
81 WONDER" she said, "what we said
last in its hearing? 1t must have been
something while we were discussing my
visit Or may be it has caught some of
your poor, longing meanings while l was
away.
And then she turned the crank.
"No," croaked the photograph, in
tones of hearty assurance, emo danger
of that; she is safe in Keokuk for three
days; saw her safely eff myself, this
morning. Light your cigar while light
another lamp and make the room appear
cheerful
"Why," exclaimed Mrs. Barstinglow,
in countenance of amazement, "what
on earth it it saying"
"Oh, some nonsense some of your Wis
itnrs have talked into it some time or
other" replied her husband, nervously,
"people talk all kinds of stuff into a
phonograph. They say anything for
talk"
Mrs. Barstinglow, appearing only half
convinced, gave the crank another turn.
"This is good whisky, Barsty," ejacu-
lated the photograph, very earnestly.
You don't get it in Burlington, do
you"
Mrs. Barstinglow gave a little shrek.
"My DEAR" said her husband, looking
now quite as worried as he had looked
when he was begging her not to go to
keokuk, "put it away; somebody has
had it out in the stable, and it might say
something perfectly shocking, you know,
put it away"
But Mrs. Barstinglow upon which the
spirit of investigation has descended
with great power, ground away, and the
photograph, in a voice marvellously like
her husband S, went remorselessly on.
"Not much; they dom make this kind
now. Hssome old Monongahela, copper
distilled, that Mrs. Barsting low's mother
gave her for medicinal purposes three
years ago. Fill up, there's plenty of it,
and l can replace it with any kind of
beverage when its gone. The old girl
won't know the difference"
Mrs. Barstinglow felt herself turning
to stone, but the next turn Of the crank
brought out all uproarious-
" Ha, ha, ha! Here's to the o. g!'
That famed her cheeks into flame.
" For mercy's sake, Malichi Barstin-
glow" she shrieked, what does this
meanW
Mr.. Barstinglow now looked as though
he really did wish she had never gone to
Keokuk.
cts just as l tell you," he said, with
an effort 20 look unconcerned that was
like humorous book, a colossal success,
SO far as its utter failure was concerned,
Somebody has been talking all sorts OF
nonsense inUo it just for talks sake. How
else could it get hold of such dreadful
in our dear little home, loveyw
Mrs. Barstinglow didn't say, but she
turned away and the photograph asked
carelessly,
"Throw round for the deal?'
She thought she would faint but she
didn't, and the pitiles machine proceed
ed to remark, with variety of voices.
dts my age" "You'll have to
straddle that blind if you come in"
give me two cards. "Chip one."
CPL see your little one and raise you
couple" "Push the bottle this way,
Ben" Amt you going to stay in,
Harry?" Cant stay in on pair of
skies" "Call you" "Two small pair.
kings to head" stems and deuces.
Take the pot" "Barsty, get us some
thing to eat. Old girl left the cupboard
keys, didn't she?' Yes; told her |
was going to keep back. at home, to save
expenses and keep out Of bad company"
I" Ia, Ia, la! Ho! 10! no! !!''
"Oh!" yelled Mr.. Barstinglow, unable
to contain himself any longer, while his
wife, more dead than alibe, leaned over
the monograph and ground away at the
crank, in a dazed kind of way, "Oh,
keep it up! That's right! keep her
agoing! Grind it all out! Confound
the diabolical piece of black art and the
vile assassin that invented it. Keep it
up! That's right! Believe senseIess
diabolical piece Of monstrous mechan-
ism rather than your husband. Keep
her agoing. Keep it upv
And Mrs. Barstinglow did keep it up.
She kept it up and listened to that pho
nograph swear and shout and howl; she
heard it shrek, cob! my eye, my eye!"
She heard it tell some one to let some
one else have it again in the same