Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-09-18
What the Wits are Saying.
| love you;
Thou lowest me:
He or she loves il.
We marry;
You are mistaken;
They separate.

But, just the same | put those pears
High on the pantry-shef. INEz.
Dweliers along the sea-cOast are not
famous for their skill in photography,
Notwithstanding their having so much
shore-tanned experience.
A raptured writer inquiries: "What is
| there under heaven more humanizing,
or, if we may use the term, more angel
Hing, than q fine black eve in lovely
woman?" Answer: Two black eyes.
The story that Webb Hayes was to
marry Hannah Boggs was weak in
vention gotten up for electioneering
purposes by the enemy. "There amt
no SIGH woman" Ohio State Journal
Maud Granger was formerly COM
pOsitor in 50 Connecticut printing-office,
and the Norristown Herald knows of a
printer who would like to "set up" with
her. The remark is by no means new,
but the sentiment does the Herald proud.
Buffalo Express.
Probably, at the last, dreadful day,
when Gabriel sounds his trump, if he
doesn't stop once or twice between the
blasts, and shout General. General
Colonel, sayn not more than two-ffths
OF the men In American cemeteries will
get up.-Bu~hngton Haaobeye.
Train up child in the way that he
shall go, and it may turn out that way
IN the long run, but all the precept and
example ever promulgated can't save
him from the sheepish. awkward feeling
sure to seize him when he goes sparkling
the first time Cincinnati Samday
Night.
"Why does lightning so rarely strike
twice in the same placer" Professor
Workman asked the new boy in the
class in natural philosophy, Huh"
said the new boy, it never needs to-"
And it is a little singular that nobody
had thought Of that reason before
Burlington Hawkeye
~ can't hold this baby any longer"
called out the young husband and faith
er, its getting too heavy" "Pshaw
Edward; replied a muffled voice from
the other side Of the room, you used
to hold me for hours and never COM
plain, and baby Is but q feather COM
pared to what / was" II was a fool"
said Edward. And she was too sleepy
Gratifying: Young person Applying
for housemaids place, where a footman
was kept, objected to children, was en-
gagged to and visited by q most spec
able young man in the 'Orse artillery,
and with 8. fortnight's character from
her last place, but who altogether does
not axactly suit d really ham sorry,
m um, for [ rather like your appearance,
mum!!"
The cure is catechising year-old
darling.
"Now tell me-" said he. why did the
good Lord forbid Adam and Eve to eat
of the apples Of certain tree?"
The entdnt terrible, after a moments
reflections:
Because the good Lord wanted to
make preserves Of them"
She went to the head.
Spell parsnips," said South Hill
teacher. "G-i-n, GIN" howled the big
gest boy in the class, "there's your
gin, nan, nan, there's your
nan, there's your gilman, s-h-u-g, shug,
there's your shug, there's yournanshug,
there's your ginnanshug, ger, ger,
there's your ger, there's your shugger,
there's your nanshugger, there's your
ginnanshugger-" ''For mercy's sake"
exclaimed the Mortified teacher, as soon
as she could catch her breath, what
are you doing p 'FSpelling paris nips,"
said the boy, "an' that's only one of 'em,
but he says it's the boss She told him
| he needn't spell the others, and he said
he'd have the old man write 'em on a
postal card and send 'em to her.-Bau-
| Ii1aQton Haackeue. e..a5f ..9ar ..-.