The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-01-10
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

| cAO NOVS uOV AlNC Hill stS ~ SlStcI.
BLIND Tom, the pianist, says he can
tell woman with 4 sharp nose by the
sound of her voicc.-DctrOI Free Press.
Twas ever thus; from childhood's hour
We've seen our fundest hopes decay
The fire went out, the batter's sour
We can't have buckwheat cakes to-day!
st. Louis Journal.
WHEN the Turk prays to his deity to
knock down the Russian pins, he wants
q bowling Allah.-C Cincinnati Saturday
Night.
WHERE was ever a philanthropist SO
disinterested as to select for himself the
greenest stalk of celery on sitting down
to dinner?
A MANUFACrORY in Mcrrimac makes
felt shoes. Our corns suggest that we
have often worn that sort of shoes
L0UeW Courier.
cit seems appropriate, said the
officiating clergyman, ''that we should
sing would not live Away 1t was
great favOritc of the remains. ''-Bos-
ton Globe.
You've ladies in Rome will petition
Congress to pass an Enabling act, to
enable old folks to go to bed ut nine
o'clock Sunday cvening.-R0mc IN.
~ Sentinel.
A CINCINNATI dyer said he could dye
Mrs. Patterson's purple dress plum
color; but he dyed it green and had to
pay $18 and costs of trial for being SO
far out of plum.
OLIVE LOGAN says no English home
servant will do the washing and ironing
herself. Graphic. But Olive don't tell
us who does wash and iron her.-Phila-
delphia Bulletin.
THE Constable's occupation has gone
in Chicago, where it is considered an
act of public benevolence to resist Il
foreclosure ut the m,lzzle of revolver
l-Chicogo journal.
UNDER the laws of PENNSYLVANIA Il
seamstress can take dress not paid for
Oft the back of her debtor. This is
one reason why drcssmakers' bills arc
promptly paid in that State.
A BROOKLYN clergyman began by
giving the text of Il special sermon, the
other day, which he introduced rs fol-
lows: Brethren, have been requested
70 preach sermon on lille things, and
do so willingly, rs the subject accor,ls
WcAI Will lily own MIMI.
The Faculty at Amherst College
were buying $4,000 organ, when :,
Boston philanthropist told them to get
one worth twice that and he would foot
the balance. He didn't foot worth a
cent, and the Faculty are living on bean
soup and saving their salaries to pay
the emainder.-E rchange.
THERE were only seventy cats in
Philadelphia's recent cat show. The
other 7,OOO,547 were sitting on back
fences and sheds O. nights growing at
the small amount of the premiums
offered, and discussing methods to
avert the dangers threatened by the
lively sausage season.-Norristovn
Herald.
SCENE in a private box of fashion
able theater-Enter servant, consider
ably excited: "If You please, mistress,
your husband has just had bad fall,
and the doctor thinks he has sustained
serious injuries, So Loving wife:
"What a pityl I shall have to 90
home at once and see to it. Turning
to the doorkeeper) Give me a return
| check, quick ?'-Fliegende Blaetter.
A JOLLY son of the ocean was about
being put on board an outwar.l-bound
ship, for which he had previously en-
tered, when he asked leave to have an
other run "up-town." Being informed
that he could not be permitted to go,
as the ship was about to sail, he sang
out to man on the wharf, an entire
stranger to him: i" Here, my friend"
throwing him a tive-shilling piece
"Spend that for me-rn do as much
for you another time.''
TURKISH beggars-suherer of the
present war in the East-have put in
an appearance. One of these mendi-
cants presented himself at the door of
an uptown residence few mornings
since, with his hat extended in a supp1i-
catory manner, and muttering "Allah
Bishmallah goloshes rustachuk," or
something that way. When cross
dog came up and seized a mouthful of
his baggy breaches he exclaimed: "Git
out O. that, We dirty brute, or I'll
knock off the heado' yer He knew the
dog wouldn't understand the Turkish
language. -NorrtsioWn Herald.
HERE is Baltimore tramp's tale:
cat Perryville I went to house with
a brick in my hand, and asked the
lady if she would please be so kind as
to put some butter on it. The request
excited her curiosity, and she asked:
why do you want to put butter on a
brick?' / told her was going to eat
it. Surely she said, you are not SO
hungry as to eat a buttered brick?
Come into the house and will give
you food bagged square meal,
for which had set SO slick a trap. In
the western section of the State asked
for something to cat at a house and
was refused. l then begged for a look
ing-glass, which aroused curiosity TO
know what would do with the mir
ror. replied, Il want to see myself
starving to death Then they gave me
what I wanted"