The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-09-19
Politics. MenaGerie.

menagerie man, in the cars, the other
day, as he was riding over to Freehold
to buy few tons of hay, and he got to
telling me about the peculiarities of his
/ business.
"Now there" said Mr. Pottle sis my
giraffe; l have had trouble with him.
Some time ago he broke loose and went
around the neighborhood putting his
head in at peoples garnet windows, and
soaring the children Then he sudden
ly developed Il fondness for nibbling
off chimney tops, and he kept a fooling
around until one day he swallowed II
brick bat, and it gave him dyspepsia.
How get it out didn't know. Some
body advised a stomach pump, but
there wasn't a stomach-pump i'll the
country that had a reach of eleven feet,
and that is what the giraffe measured
from his lips down to his inside. How
do you think I got it out? / tied his
four legs to derrick. turned him up
side down, and shook him until the
brick rolled down his throat. I've
often thought how lucky it is human
beings are not built in that way. Cost
us such a scandalous price for shirt
collars.
My polar bear annoys me worse.
though, [ believe. Between ourselves,
you know, he's merely an ordinary
black bear, and | have to fresco him up
every now and then to give him Il
strictly polar aspect. At first l used to
whitewash him, but the lime d eat III
and make him howl so 5 he would scare
into Mysteries all the babies that came
/ Il, l., h, 20 Ia Ia / A1
MIN up in sheep-skins. but they would
slip around so that the legs would be
on his back ana cause people t. make
remarks. SO now | stick gobs of raw
cotton all over him with mucilage. But
it gives him kind of speckled look,
so that he appears to be sort Of cross
between polar bear and skunk, and
critical spectators want their money
back.
Did you ever own an ostrich? No
Now there's a nice kind of pet bird to
have around the house, Nice for
cage. Do you know what my African
ostrich would do if you'd put him i'll a
cage? He'd swallow the cage while h.
was inside of it, and then he'd go prowl-
ing around your kitchen trying to
lunch off of the hat-irons. I've known
my ostrich in a single morning to eat
up eleven wooden tent-pins and four
feet of lightningrod; and that very
same afternoon he put away three horse
shoes and a tack-hammer. He is a
tough sort of a bird! l know, last
summer, when he swallowed my re-
volver, and his gastric juice subse
quently set the trigger agoing, 1
thought for awhile that he was goner.
But after he blew the smoke off, and
the bullet-holes closed up, he only
seemed little faint, and an hour later
he ate the door-keeper's alpaca UNI
brella.
Tive got the finest elephant out Of
Asia! Perfectly amiable and good
humored. He killed his keeper two
years ago, but that was the mans own
fault. The keeper was green, and not
perfectly familiar with elephants, and
he appeared to have an idea that both
ends of the animal were exactly alike;
so he ,s0"l3 persist in trying to lead
the elephant around by the tail, and
act as if it was a matter of perfect in
difference whether the animal picked
up his nay with his trunk or his tail.
SO, one day, when the man was trying
to persuade the elephant to drink by
holding the end of his tail in a bucket
of water, the elephant put ont his hind
leg, and kicked him into immortal
chaos, Some people. you know, never
do get sense. There's no money in the
business any more, though. The losses
are too heavy. 1 had boa-constrictor
that stood me four hundred dollars,
and he did well enough for awhile.
But one dav he got loose, and when we
found him he was standing on his head
out 10y the railroad. with his tail high
in the air. | tried to coax him to
come down, but he remained perfectly
quiet, and when | came to examine him
/ found that he had swallowed the top
of telegraph pole, and had eat his
way down until lis nose touched the
ground. He was dead. What killed
him | don't know. 1t may have been
electric shocks, or it may have been
dyspepsia. Howsomever, he was
corpse, and there were four hundred
dollars gone.
The monkeys seem to amuse the
people most. | like monkey myself.
Do you know I believe it's positive
loss to human beings that they haven't
got tails like monkeys? Why. mon
key can take hold of a thing with his
tail just like you can with your hand.
It's really third hand. Now, s'posin'
you had such tail? If you had to
hang on to the platform of "A crowded
horse-car with your hands, you could
hold your umbrella with your tail. If
you wanted to go boating you could
row with both hands and hold the
! holm with Nnnr Toll LIZ ynu Iuas Wnll,-