The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-07-06
VARIETIES.

was once a negro minstrel.
This country used up 1,207, AGA bar
rels of lager beer last year.
The most successful business firm
in Boston paid the Herald 5000 last
year
The marriage bell at Winnie Ream' s
wedding was made of 10000 field
daisies.
Frequent remark by the Emperor
William" Stop shootin'. "-ButaIo
Express.
He who loves the good and looks
for the good finds the good and gathers
the good.
Why is the village of Canandaigua
like red hair? Because it's little be-
You'd Auburn.-Rone Sentinel.
TO Greece we give our shining
blades" now that butter is only sixteen
cents pound.-BerEShire Courier.
The Government ought to put up
a small shed now for our standing army
to drill under when it rains.-Detroit
Post
The violet grows low and covers
itself with its own tears, and of all flow
ers yields the sweetest fragrance. Such
is humility.
The two richest widows in Califor-
MIA are Mrs. Coleman and Mrs. MELON
ough. Their combined wealth amounts
to 1913, 100000.
Stanley Matthews is informed that
he can get cremated in Pennsylvania
for $3.50, travelling expenses only one
wav.-N. Y. Herald.
A Mississippi paper says that land
can be bought in that State at ten cents
an acre, but the people prefer whisky
at fifteen cents drink.
A granger observed lady kick up
her skirts yesterday, and exclaimed:
"Lor', I've COW that can do thatr' =
Turner'S Falls Reporter.
Still another Wisconsin baby has
been born with three legs. Talmage's
salary will be reduced if competition
keeps on in this way.-N. y. Herald.
1t was good thing for New Y rk
daily to engage II. Clay Lukens as par
agraphic editor. 1t helps to carry the
NeWS to hire i'm Stamford Advocate.
In an exchange we find an article
about a mother-in-law, and in beautiful
harmony the next item is headed: 1.-The
Storm Elsewhere. '-RocheSter ErpreSS
Charity is never lost; it may be of
no service to those it is bestowed upon,
yet it ever does work of beauty and
grace upon the giver's heart.
That man is not friend to his race
who builds house in which one back
door must be used by the women of
separate families. Turner's Falls Re
porter.
The wolf, says Russian proverb,
changes its hair every year. The young
lady of the period does better; she
changes hers every afternoon. -NeD
HaUen Register.
Eating strawberry short-cake is
calculated to make the average man
feel like fifty-pound steam engine with
a hundred and twenty-five pounds of
steam Bridgeport Standard.
The Detroit Free Press asks: I" Are
watermelons healthy?" They are not.
They are dropsical, and never attain a
"ripe old age" seldom living over six
months.-NOrriStOUn Herald.
&c Let me but know
There is an arm unseen that holds me up;
An eye that kindly watches all my path;
Let me but know | have friend that waits
To welcome me to glory and to joy,
And all is we'll"
"A small boy of the freckled species,
in the parlor where dry goods clerk
is sparkling the boys big sister, will
make the course of true love rouoher
than riding in lumber wagon. Still
GCdter LUnlbernlGn.
oh, my stars,
Put up your bars
Before the flies get thick;
They buzz and buzz,
And fuZZ and fuZZ,
And, gracious how they stick!
st. Louis Journal.
"A man needs to keep winter I'M
dershirt, fan, "hot Scotch" linen coat,
ulster, mint-julep, seal-skin cap, mos
quito net and umbrella at both ends of
the line to accommodate the WITNESSES
of the thermometer. - Rochester EG-
press.
What" asks philosophical ex-
change, "are the great causes of pub
lie irritation?' We believe Private
Dalzell and Mrs. Gaines are, but as we
haven't been paid anything for thinking
so, we won't swear to it.-Bnrltngton
HaWb-Eye.
1t will be a great comfort when the
whole of this country is hundred
years old. These dribbling "Centen-
mails" after the big shower in 1876,
just keep things damp, without doing
the country any particular good. Phil
Gdelphia Bulletin.
Last Sunday Rev. w. H. II. Murray
gave his congregation description of
what he should consider model church
building. We presume he did not get
through with his subject, as he hasn't
said anything yet about the stables
Burlington Haa0k-Eye.
An alligator thirteen feet and six
inches long was killed on the st. Johns
River in Florida recently. 1t had at
tackled COW that had waded into the
water ten yards from shore, and it was
doing well IN the beef-steak line when
interrupted by a bullet.
Some one suggests that perhaps
Captain Bogardus has gone to Europe
as a socialist agent, employed to shoot
one hundred successive kings in one
hundred successive capitals, Il ounces
shot, twenty yards rise and eighty yards
boundary, II and L traps.
Maj. Dan Simpson, aged eighty