St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1878-11-08
Squibs.

Edison's latest discovery is a boy.
He weighed nine pounds.
A woman, hearing a great deal about
'prcservihg autumn leaves" put up
some, but afterward told il neighbOr
they were not fit to eat, and she might
as well have thrown her sugar away.
John writes to inquire how the ark
was propelled ? We would say to John
that the ark was rOw-boat and pro-
PEELED by an Noah. White Hall Times.
We thought there was IL pair.
In reply to the criminal charge that
my trusted friends and assistants, while
living in my house, did attempt to bribe
the Florida returning board 10 make me
president 1Ol the sum of $4,000, | iu-
dignantly reply that | never liked the
electoral commission, and always be-
iieved it was Il mistakp.-Sdn.uel j. TIL
den TO Ne,U York Graphic,
Twenty-nine of ;he best young men
in Burlington have banded themselves
together by ii terrible oath not to pay
more than 81 for pincushion made of
furniture calico and stuffed with bran,
at any time this winter, no matter what
missionary society manufactures the
pincushions.
Opera East and West. Minnie Hauck
is raising the air in New York. Tommy
Hawk is whooping it on the plains
Chicago Times.
The man who married Mrs. Jeffreys
Lewis married her for herself alone.
That's the reason he got her money out
of the way lis soon us possible.-Detroit
Free Press.
Joseph Cook is now leetHfiHg on pO-
litcal themes, whereat the Chicago
journal says he is "traveling with
magic lantern" This is only rude at
tempt to say that he is trying to throw
light on the Graphic.
"The end of the world will occur on
July ii, 1879" SO says II priest of
Brahma in India. This date will suit
thing more than another we want to see
thousand years.-NeW York Commercial
advertiser.
The champion long-nosed man re-
sides at Sacramento. Its owner was at
breakfast yesterday, when a friend seat
ed ut the opposite side of the table,
knowing him to be little near-sighted,
remarked, ''There's fly on the end of
your nose" lis there ?" responded the
owner of the horn of plenty. 81 didn't
know it. Just please scare him off
you're nearer to him than am p'-Sac-
rdmentO Record Union.
A tourist, while passing through
Standardization, saw rustic sitting on
fence. "That's Shakespeare's house,
| isn't it 7" he asked, pointing to the
building. eyes" ever been there Pn
"No." "How long has he been dead P''
Don't know" ''Many people come
here ?" "Yes, lots" ''Been to the
house ?" ''No; never been to the
house" "What did he do 7" "DOn't
know" brought up here" "Yes."
"Did he write ?" "Oh, yes; he writ"
"What was it; you must know 2"
"Well," said the rustic, 81 think he
wrote for the Bible"
1t is an old and true saying, that a
man should not marry unless he can
support wife, and from some examples
that we have seen, we are beginning to
doubt seriously whether woman can
prudently marry if she can't support Il
husband.
1t would never do to call the period
when mankind first donned clothing,
the galb bage. What an offal iest
Just think of the enraged feelings of
farmer who finds too late that he had
squash down in an off corner of the
field that was Il half pound heavier than
the one that took the prize at the fair
-NeW HaUen Register.
DON'T get in debt to a shoemaker if
you would call your sole your own
| Camden Post.
A German Socialist has just illusirat-
ed the height of impudence. He wrote
to Emperor William, mentioning that
he intended to kill him, neglected 10
enclose stamp for reply, and now COM
plains of discourtesy because he hasn't
received any answer.
| The strong prophetic instincts of the
Graphic caused it to forecast an impor-
tant event, as follows, on Friday last :
"Mr. Edison is not feeling very well.
If it should be girl or boy, it will be
named Space as the only telegraphic
symbol not yet employed.n 1t was a
boy, weighing IL pounds, and was pub
llshed about three hours after the
Graphic went to press. We knew il
would be boy, but feared that a dis
tinct prediction TO that effect would ex-
cite an unpleasant feeling of awe in our
readers. The first utterance of young
Space was the vowel which the phono-
graph. speaks most easily, "Waa i
waa !"-Neao York Graphic.
A butcher complained to a LAWYER
that somebody's dog was in the habit OF
stealing meat from his cart, and asked
what he should do about it. The law
yer replied: Prosecute the owner OF
the dog, of course" "But,n said the
butcher sit is your dog" "I will pay
the bill, > said the lawyer, bringing his
hand down suddenly on the 5lace
where his pocket-bOok was supposed 10
be, 'if You will tell how much the meat
was worth" The butcher replied,
about ST." GAN right,n reioined the
y lawyer' "hand over 81 to me and we
snail be square. The advice which j
gaye ga =, to you in the beginning was worth