The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1878-03-05

how many tio0he asdodeed his milk b;ll2
Ge0Iea. daP An cats in de vosuA. Oar
On also elsiaata De cat Who sighs to be On
elefant will only grow poor on De ribs an
look wa in De sight Of his iellovnan. OATS
all"
We have often wondered how women
could get along without swearing. There
ars times. ny friesds. vhea The overcha,xed
heart Of man would bunt were il not that
he could hoist the valve and let out . little
profanity. We don't know how many
thousand words there are in the English
language, but when You yet in right tight
place there ain't one Of them that will GIL
the bill like IN eighs-cornered cuss-vord.
But here's the nearest . woman can come
to it.:
There came maiden bright and fair
Over the pavement tripping;
And never thought had she Of care,
And never . fear Of slipping.
But oh alas for all Of that,
Her feet 6ew out and down she sat
OVWu w SuC CusO, COsu eUOW
And to her face rushed food of red,
And look Of surprise, but all she said
Was "DOminow
Yes, she said "Domino," but veil bet .
len dollar bill she ihoueht-d-n!
1t 10 . pleasant sight to zee 20 many
bright-faced little boys going to school in
6eaalis. We love to watch them. The
little boy comes out Of the front gate with
his books under his arm, until he sees Tom
Jones dog. when he lays them carefully
down in the middle Of the sidewalk, until
he can find . rock. Then he throws il
With all his might, but Tom Jones dog
amt no SLOUGH. and he jumps just in time.
while the rock goes through store window
and the good little boy grabs his books and
runs With his head down right between q
Fat old gentleman's legs. and tie latter
falls down and sprains his ankle. Oh, it il
pleasant sisht-for the boy. But boys
will be boys.
A little boy Of Des Moines, Iowa, Who
writes to his "tren Jimmy" that he IL going
to run away from school and be an editor,
thus closes his letter: TELL yore sister
Katy doant have nothin moar TO do with
that Jinks girl, an am troo to her. I
wont git prowd and forgit her il / do be an
editor, nor you neither Jimmy il yore
folks is poor and ornery. YOres Truly.
Johnny"
And girls will be girls, you bet. They
pretend to be delicate when they are in
company, and then climb on top Of chair
in the cupboard and eat like alligasors.
There's the Boonville girl:
Twas up at dance,
As round she did prance,
This rip snort young lady from Boonville.
asked her To 20
For refreshments below
This fashionable young lady from Boonville.
Then asked her to make
Known what she would take,
The red-headed angel from Boonville.
She tenderly spake-
Though I'LL will take
A dozen raw. half-dozen fried. some slaw,
pickle and pepper-sauce, pork steak,
sausage, eaxs, fried ham, batter cakes. bean
soup, clabber, chow-chow, hone-radish,
mutton chops, buttermilk, saur-krant.
smear-kase, tender loins, corn-bread, and q
chunk Of backbone
This delicate young lady from Boonville.
And then she finishes up on Lon
Stephens cheek.
We will close this Bible class With the
relation Of how the last camel brokethe
strsw's back:
In one Of the Western States man Vas
brought into court on . charge Of assault
and battery. presented by his wife, and his
honor asked him Why he struck her.
"She called me worthless, lazy loafer !;
but il wasn't that"
sWellr
sShe said our whole family weren't ht
for 6sh-bait; bat didn't get mad at that"
"What VS. it them
"She shook her Est under my nose and
said was too lazy In die, but knosed
she was excited and let that pas. She's
got fearful temper, your honor"
II wish to know II you had sufficient
cause for provocation," said the court
81 guess had, Judge. She come Close
up and spit in my face, and said was
meaner than pizen but l didn't hit her for
that"
"What them"
~ knowed her temper, and l sot there
and vhistled Hold the Fort and was
bearing with her, when she turned round,
gin nv coon dog the smashineess kick
lifted him right out'n doors onter his head.
That fetched me, Judge, il there had been
forty lions and Q camel in the road I'd
have skinned her, or died trying"