Weekly Trinity journal., 1878-04-06
CREMATION AS A CURE.

The Cine innati Saturday Night says :
Mrs. Boggs had been under the weather
for two or three days. At least she said
she was, but these attacks came rather
frequently, Doggs thought, for when his
wife was having one of her spells he had
to cook the meals and do all the house
work. We don't remember the particu-
lar state the weather was in this time,
but Mrs. Boggs was under it, and she
was under it very bad. She even told
Boggs she didn't believe she was ever go
hysterical request that he would bury her
in some sunny spot whore the birds
might come and sing to her, and she made
him promise that he would bring flowers
once week and scatter them over her
grave. A dozen times that day was
Boggs called from his work in the kiteh
on to bid q last farewell to his dying wife,
but still she fingered. lie had been
through this experience great many
times before, so he was not so much
alarmed as he might otherwise have been.
That night as he sat watching, like the
aAectionate husband ho was, at her bed
side, she saw that lie was deeply engross-
ed in u book,
"What book are you reading, dear ?"
she family asked.
"A railroad guide, my love-" was the
reply.
"What do you want with IL railroad
guide ?" she inquired.
~ want to see how far it is to Wash
ngton, Pa, and how the trains rum"
said Mr.. Boggs.
She would have asked him what he had
to do with Washington, Pa, but he got
up and went out and she fell into dose,
the inclination to which she didn't care to
repress, even though it delayed tho final
departure that she had so ofton prated
about. When she awoke she saw Boggs
bending over hor with candle. He
evidently hadn't observed that she was
awake, so closing her eyes she feigned
sleep, and overheard the following solil-
oquy, which sufficiently explained to her
now thoroughly awakened senses his in
quiry OF the railroad guide about the
route to Washington, Pa. "Splendid
subject for cremation-a little scraggy
(NIrs. Boggs fingers worked nervously
under the bed clothes and she had hard
work to keep from flying at him), but tho
scraggy ones incinorate quicker than the
fat ones, the doctors say. She could be
creased il necessary to make her go
quicker Think I'll send her up by OK
press, as Pm too busy in the store to got
away. lIer ashes can bo forwarded to me
in an envelope through the mail. I'll
know them audible chuckle). They'll
be under tho weather every few weeks and
want to die. And they'll ask me to barry
them in some sunny spot whore the birds
can como and sing to 'em. I'll send
word to DR.. Le Moyne to make it hot for
her-she has kept things hot enough for
me. And III tell him to let all the re
porters in, so as to give her good send
of through the papers, and whoop Ter up
Liza Jane. Sorry | can't be there TO stir
her up myself, and"
A thrilling, ear-piercing scream came
from the woman under the weather, and
with bound sufficient to land her on the
top of any weather that over lived, che
sprang out of bed and had Boggs by the
ear in flash, while she fairly screamed ;
"You'l cremate me, will you, you bald
headed old reprobato You'll send my
scraggy body up TO Washington by OK
press giving his ear wiring between the
sentences); and tell that wicked old
wretch lie Moyne, to make it hot for me;
and you'll have my ashes sent to you in a
letter growing more and more wrathy,
and humping him over the hoad with
tho candesticlk she had snatChed away
from his hand; and bury mo in somo
sweet, sunny spot (whack y, whore the
birds may come and sing (bingD; and you
want the reporters there (bang j to
whoop'er up Liza Jane (boomD. Oh,
you mean, wretched, old man, you I'll
live hundred years to spite you, see ii |
don't ~
Then she pushed Boggs out Of the door
and bofted it, and he had to make up a
bunk on the kitchen floor that night, next
to the stove. But peculiar smile played
| about BoQpsi face, even when he was
rubbing the sore spots on his bald head,
and ho murmured softly to himself,
"Guess I've cured her Of them spells for
one while"
Mrs. Boggs hasn't been under the
weather since, but the mention Of the word
cremation drives her Wild