The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-09-12
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

...-.- SENSE AND NONSENSE.
A MOSQUITO that bites and flies away
may live to bite another day.
The London Queen says that the de-
mand of the times is for women who
can teach women.
If women weren't forever ON the
sweet buy and buy there would be less
failures. Post.
THE Glasgow Times says next to .
young rabbit nothing is so hard to raise
Is q young newspaper.
An exchange remarks that "Solo-
mon, in all his glory, was not q raid
like one of these Mexican raids"
JOSHUA was the first man who ever
took newspaper. The Bible tells us
he stopped the Daily Sun.-FTisco Alta.
EYEGLASSES cover a short-sighted
affection, and are the badges of infirm-
ity. They are not fashionable, by .
long sight.
THERE are more poor-houses con-
structed from the ''bricks in mems
hats than from any other material. A
solemn fact Whitehall Times.
A NEW York Sunday-School Super
intendent asked an intclligcnt-looking
young teacher who Pontius PLATE was,
and received the reply that he was one
of the twelve apostles.
WHEN great men reflect how many
years it will take their statues to be un-
! yelled, it is wonder they do not make
up their minds to die some years in adj
vance.-COnsnscrciaL Advertiser.
IT was about this time of the year
when the little boy expressed the wish
that he was built like a hen-coOp, out
of laths, 50 that the breeze could blow
right through HMM. Y. Herald.
ACCORDING to the New Orleans
Times, "Grcat men need no monu-
ments." We shall countermand our
order at once, and content ourselves
| with the smooth side of q slab.-Elnsir0
0Gzette.
THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND letters
are yearly dropped into Post0ffices un.
stamped, but letter asking the editor
of a newspaper "for few lines of mo-
tice'' is always fully prepaid soso-
ing Editor.
A DOWNTOWN resident remarked of
q young man, supposed to be seriously
attentive to a very handsome niece:
Dot feller's vixed. He's got um pad.
He make dot gal present ov ring init
does ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS flowers on"
Kingston Freeman.
WHAris the cause of strikesP" asks a
contemporary. We know: Mosquitoes.
They cause more strikes than any 9th
err animate or inanimate thing on the
face of the earth. We made not less
than fifty strikes at one, last night, with
out smashing Norristoson Herald.
DON'T tell man you sweat. 1t is
vulgar. Inform him that you arc be-
| ing deprived of the saline and Oleagin-
GUS fluids of your material substance,
through the excretories of your pellucid
cuticle, with sensible condensation of
moisture upon the superficial exterior.
WHEN little Thomas stoops to toy
with berries, jam and jelly cake, no
art can soothe the chastened boy-no
nostrums ease his stomach ache. And
if the gripping pains defy the medicines
prescribed to foil, his parents will do
well to try the limpid, liquid castor oil.
AFMlton Times.
A COMMONPLACE practice with PEG.
pie who cannot swim is to wade out
until the water reaches the waist, stand
still, and from time to time immerse
the body as far as the shoulders, allow
ing the head to remain dry. A more
injurious method of bathing can scarce
ly be MISUNDERSTANDING.
"YOU see, my dear" he explained,
"the man was climbing the ladder with
a hodful of mortar on his shoulder.
just as I passed under it he slipped,
and the whole contents of the hod came
down on my head" How ridiculous
you must have looked" she replied.
"On the contrary, my dear, l was sub
lime"
The Vicksburg Commercial is reliably
informed that in the City of Whining
ton, N. c., before the war, there were
q number of turpcntine factories, and
that during the time that these facto-
ries were in operation yellow fever
was unknown. During the war, while
these factories were inactive, yellow
fever was afrequent visitor at Whining
ton. At the close of the war these fac
tories were again put in operation, and
since that time no epidemic has ever
attacked that place.
MANY, many years ago gentleman
called on Mr.. Hobby, then the most
fashionable, most extravaganza, most
flourishing of bootmakers. IL bought
q pair of straps here last week." said
he, and think they turned out shame
fully; Twill never buy another pair of
straps in this shop!' "Put up the
shutters, john" said Mr.. Hobby, turn
ing to one of his men; "it's no good
our going on with the business; this
gentleman will never buy another pair
Of sixpenny straps here."-Lo.sdo's
World.
HERE is q scene that recently oc-
Cured in a railway car, and for which
the editor of the Christian at Work. is
responsible. A young woman enters
and fiounces into her seat, throws up
her hand and exclaims to her compan-
ion with q loud voice which all in the
car can hear, Ibid you ever know
anything SO hot? Pm sitting! Can't
YOU open this window? Whew! It's
dreadful, isn't it? It's always 80 in
these cars-awfulv' When this kind
of remark had been made at some
length for the edification of the COM
pany, a voice was heard from the other
end of the car: "Ycs'm, it's awful.
But we must try to bear up. faint
uothin' to the sufferin's of the early
Christians" A general laugh followed,
and nothing further was heard from
that young woman.
The Difficulties Of Being Agreeable.
| "A MAN will please more by never
offending than by giving a great deal
of delight" In this remark of DR..
Johnson's lies the art of being agree
able. But nothing is more difficult
than to avoid offending. Most people
are offended by trifles. For instance,
persons generally take umbrage at su-
perior brilliance Of conversation. 1.-THE
man who talks for fame will never
please" Even he who talks to unbur-
dan his mind will nlease only some old