Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1878-05-09
Wit and Hzlz1z0z..
Inc only proper way to eat ice cream
spoon fashion.

A'AN oiiies piopCi way ~ eat Ice cream /
spoon fashion.
Silver does well enough until it gets into
Il mans hair. Then he dies.
What routes should cooks take wher
they come West? The Pan Uandl,
route.
! 1t will soon be time to take your carpets
into the back yard and beat what Bob In.
gersoll says does not exist out of 'em.
A young lady rebukingly asks us
(Which is worse, to lace tight, or to get
tight?' We give it up-wc never laced
Elmua Gazette.
A st. Louis girl stepped i'll the mud last
fall, and when it froZe over the owner of
the land put up some fences and advertised
a skating rink.
A female gatekeeper On the National
pike has been removed for dead-headling
her sweetheart. She never toll her love.
-C!aosn"ati Saturday Night.
enaFgca ~ afD because, for the amusement OF the
children during recess, she stood on her
head. One OF the trustees CHANGED to see
the feat.
''icre it is ten o'clock," exclaimed Mrs.
Mic. ''and Ann is not n yet. She promis-
ed faithfully to return at eight .'Ilaye
you forgotten" said her husband, THAT
an is an indefinite article? ?'
She was quoting, "There is more joy in
-" YES" interrupted F'ilkins, ''more
jaw in this house than in the combined
show cases Of the Bowery dentists" An
ominous silence has hung up its football on
the door mat.
An exchange speaks Of man who re-
Gently bit another mans thumb Off in q
quarrel. The paper does not say where
the man came from, but the kenncbec
Journal thinks hc must have been from
Gnawthumberland.
A young lawyer, who had been "admit-
ted' about a year, was asked by friend,
.'IIow do you like your new profession 2"
The reply was accompanied by brief
sigh to suit the occasion: My profession
is much better than MY practice"
A Californian was once taking fifteen
cent dinner at the Miners Rcstatran. in
San Francisco, when lie called loudly to
the waiter, "Do you consider this good
beef?' ''Certainly; cattle came all the
way from Texas. If they hadn't been
good beef, they couldn't have stood the
trip
An old, rough clergyman once took for
hi sS nNt hot cNn.r rNf
said in my haste, all men are liars" Look
ing. apparently, as if he saw the Psalmist
standing before him, lie said, ~ OH said it
in your haste, David! If you had been
here, you might have said it after mature
deliberation."
A school inspector, in talking to the in
FAINT class, used the word "abridgement,"
and Immediately explained that, as some
Of them might not know the meaning of
the word, lie would say that it was syn
onym Of the word 'ep,tome."
The following epiSram was written on a
MIR. Wildwood, who was much given to
exaggeration:
''You double each story you tell,
You double each sight you see;
Your Names a double double !,
Double Ii double d -
"NOw, then, state your case." said a De-
troit lawyer, the other day, as he put a
S. bill away in his vest pocket. "Well,"
began his client, suppose the man living
next door wants to put barn right up
against my line, coming within two feet of
my house p ''tIe can't do it, sir-can't
do any thing of the kind" replied the law
.'er. But l want to put my barn right
up against his line" remarked the client.
"Oh-ah-yes, 1 see, Well, sir, go right
ahead and put your barn there. All the
law in the ease is on your side. ."-Detroit
Free Press.
''Why don't you work ?" an irate citizen
demanded of a seedy, wretched looking
tramp. ''Can't get any work; nobody
will employ me-" "Then why don't you
sell somethins? Get peddler's pack and
start out around the country" II have
no money" "Stock up your pack on
time, then" ''But l have no credit"
'Well, then, get some OF your friends to
back you, and open little peanut stand or
store in town here.'' ''But 1 have no
friends" NO work, no credit, no friends.
HIM, that's bad,' mused the citiz.n:
but" frightening up, ''start newspaper I
then you can do that" The tramp rested |
the full weight OF his body upon one foot,
took from his pocket small piece Of fad
ed linen, and said, as he wiped the swift
filling tears from hss eyes: .'IIe takes me
for fool!'' In few moments the tramp
moved off, but it was with downcast and
perfectly subdned appearance, and sorrow
Wis depicted upon every line of his face.