The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1878-10-31
PITH AND POINT.

snowy brow.
An exchange praises very large egg,
which, it says, was "laid on our table
by the Rev. DIR. Smith" Brother
Smith seems to be layman as well as a
preacher. zas
ZEE. VANCE Yves once asked what he
thought of the financial speeches of
Merrimon in the Senate. He. said: az
know very little about finanee; all I
know is that it takes two names a sight
better than mine to get money at a
bank"
A coLORED preacher. in Norwich a
while ago gave out the following an
nouncement: Brothers and sisters,
next Sunday, the Lord willing, there
will be baptizing in this place, the can.
didates being four adults and three
adultresses.
The microphone is another marvel
GUS invention. BY it the faintest sounds
are magnifed to the dimensions Of
thunder-clap. With the microphone
farmer can hear potato bug coming
down the road quarter of mile away,
and can go out with an ak and head it
D"s0~' OVoWSs
A FASHION journal asserts that none
but silver buckles should be worn the
coming season. This may be the edict
OF society leaders, but it will have no eff
feet on editors wives who prefer to
wear gold buckles ornamented with
large solitaire diamond surrounded by
pearls. Courier.
The thrill of rapture which passes
through man when a pretty girl puts
her pretty arms around his neck and
kisses him, is not precisely the same as
the feeling which takes possession of
him when he rolls up his sleeves to wash
in the morning and ascertains that there
is no water in the pitcher.-Puck.
A LAWRENCE (Mass.) priest came
near marrying the wrong couple. Ar
irving at the church, where wedding
was to take place, he found a young
man and young woman waiting, and,
supposing that they were the persons to
be married, called them down to the al
tar, and began the ceremony before
their confusion would let them object.
"THERE would be more saloons in
this town." said a native, as the train
slowed north through Montgomery, g if
it wasn't for one thing" "And what is
that?" asked the tourist. Saint any
more houses" replied the native; and
the tourist opened his notebook and re-
mained absorbed in thought. Bmrling-
ton Hasokeye.
WHEN the modest young man is unex-
pectedly caught in parlor full of
women, one Of whom has roguish eyes,
and begins to try to think whether his
hair is parted straight or not, the bushes
start from his forehead and creep over
the top of his head and down his back
until he feels like nutmeg crater with
tin ear.-Stills0ater Lum6eynsan.
ONE of the Duchess County School
Commissioners recently was called upon
to make speech to the children in the
school-house. He arose and said:
You must excuse me, for have been
elecuting so much to-day that my throat
is sorei''t The same man in another
speech alluded to voraciousness and
added: "Children, l suppose you
don't know what that means-vo.
raciousness is truthfulness. nc CdtsktH
Recorder. ...s...
PHYSIOLOGICAL FACTS.
The human lungs reverberate sometimes with
When windy individuals indulge in much
verbosity.
They have to twirl the glottis sixty thou.
sand times minute,
And push and punch the diaphragm as
though the deuce were In 1t.
CHoRUs.-The pharynx now goes up;
The larynX, with q slam. g g
s.at Elects q note
From out the throat, ,ft,-7.
Pushed by the diaphragm.
-HarUGrd College AdUocGte.
CONFIDENCE fisiB@ 4
Said Mrs. Brown, o
When you go down town, - ~
My dear, forgetfuI spouse,
You won't forget ts42sss5tf ssfl
To go and get
e load of kindling wood for the houseT'f r
tH You are SO good, "a - - tfs ~
To think of the wood, .
For you opened your dreaming lips. NE
In your sleep last night,
And said outfghti E5.la1 asaff5f
I'll take another dollars worth Of chips"
@ Io isat8 80 --Hnsckeys.
Our in Belleville they started . hotsl
the other day and as matter OF course
it was necessary to number the rooms.
There was not q painter in the town and
not so much as piece Of chalk could
be found around the house. At last q
happy idea possessed the landlord.
Taking q pack Of cards and paper Of
tacks he began with the ace and contin
ued up to the king, numbering the doors
in a novel and entirely original man
ner., If it ever becomes necessary to
make additional numbers for extra
rooms the suit may be changed, and SO
continued up to fifty-two, by which time
painter may be imported for the pur-
pose of extending the ofgnres. Until
then the clerks will be compelled to