The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1878-06-12
Miscellaneous Items.

er she mas or nor, that's eX1CLly what she
dees-it she's married.
''What is wisdom2'' asked teach
erot a class of small girls. A bright
eyed little creature arose and answered /:
Information Of the BRAIN"
The latest style Of kids is the twenty
seven button gloves, which ale joined
back of the ears and serve to keep the
hair from tickling the neck.
Oil of eucalyptus is said to be an ex-
cellent local anesthetic. "A drop placed
on cotton or wool and inserted in the
cavity will relieve the toothache.
"Beg pardon for stepping on your
train.' said fop at ball; then added,
you ought to have had cow-catcher on
it." "And I would have caught q calf"
said the lady.
A Scottish clergyman quoted text of
Scripture in his prayer, and added for
the instruction Of MS audience: "For that,
o Lord, is the correct translation of the
passage"
Octave Feuillet says: "Providence has
SO ordained it that only two women have
true interest in the happiness of a man
his swnasr other, and the mo- her of his
children. Besides those two legitimate
kinds Of love, there is nothing between
the two creatures except vain excitement,
painful and idle delusion." .s
When Eugene Hale married Miss
Chandler, Papa Zach. Chandler gave
him 500, 900 for a we'd ding present; and
at the advent Of every grandchild, check
for 5000 is forthcoming, to be placed
to the credit OF the child as nucleus of
its future fortune. Babies are never un-
welcome in that household. -
A young and somewhat dull tyro at
the bar pleading before him commenced:
MY lord, my unfortunate CLIENT then
stopped, hemmed, hawed, hesitated.
Again he began: "My lord, my unfertu-
nate client"--another stop, more hemming
and confusion. pray 60 on, sir" said
the Chief Baron. So far the Court is
with you" . s a. '2.' '1.1,s. .-, q: -.
1t may be all right for border to fall
in love with his landlady, and she, if un-
married or widow, violates no law in
returning his passion, but it is totally OPP
posed to all sentiments and proper appe-
tite to send him lock of her hair through
the medium of the butter or the hash
served up for breakfast.-P philadelphia
Post.
A little boy in Sioux City Sunday
school put poser to his teacher. The
lady was telling her class how God pun
lshed the Egyptians by causing the first
in each household to be slain. The little
boy listened attentively, and at the proper
interval mildly inquired: -...,...~. - :, !.
What would God have done if
there tad been twinsy"
Gail Hamilton's latest epitome of Mas
sachusetts: e That lovely, beloved, bu
exasperating old State, so ,ich and pros
porous and powerful that can shed her
reformers like water from ducks back,
and sail along steadfast and stately under
shower-bath of selfconceit and wrong
medicines that would sink forty tathoms
deep weaker commonwealth
One of the most remarkable things in
human nature. however, is this wiling
ness of woman to sacrifice girls life for
the chance Of saving the morals Of a
scapegracc man. If a pious neither
can only marry her son Beelzebub
to some "good, religious girl" the
chance of his reformation is greatly
Increased. The girl is neither here nor
there, when one considers the necessity
for saving dear Observation-Disclosures Eg-
gIeston.
The spirit of self-sacrifce is one Of the
great beauties of holiness. Husband
yielding to wife. wife to husband;
brother to brother; sister to sister;
friend to friend; in great things, but in
small, especially. First and formosk
see that the spirit is with you at home;
then carry it abroad into the world. It
is spirit that will sweeten happiness
and brighten troubles; and when the
soul is ready TO wing its flight to its
eternal home, it will have the unspeak
able consolation Of knowing that it has
not lived to itself; that it has left the
world happier and better in some de-
gree than it found it.; that it has been
aithful TO its earthly mission. -.
"Woman can make man better, but sh
has no special power over brutes; hence
she must first destroy whatever b1utalizes
her companion, or she can have over him
little influence for good. Intoxicating
liquors are, in all countries, her deadliest
AOos ueSl1OyAuS ueI uOue anu lOVeQ ones.
and the susceptibilities of the race of i'm.
provement. The present activity of women
in the temperance reform is, without
exception, the most hopeful! 81 gn Of the
times. Butt wish they appreciated more
than is yet apperent the necessity Of pre-
seroing the fruits Of their zabors. For, say
what you will, temperance reforms have
been spasmodic. Reformed men arouse
a community and, for awhile, it is a
cauldron Of repentance and reform. So far.
SO good. But, during that time the liquor
seller retires to his den and shuts the door
only waiting till the excitement sub
sides, and he can come forth again. 81.
A few days ago a petition was filed in
aTexas court, il which the plaintiff was
an old Mexican woman. The Court. as
usual, wanted security for cost.
Said the lawyer, She is not REQUIRED
to give cost bond. She is pauper. and
will make an affidavit to that effect.''
s Why, she used to own real estate.''
observed the clerk.
/" | know she has got nothing now,n
retorted the lawyer. .... I'D I, zsl.'5.
:" Have you collected your fee in
advance2''