The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1878-11-14
FLASHES.

wing With its leg.
When man "breaks a horse, what
does he do with the pieces!
It's mighty ignorant horse that
does not know his own fodder.
In all we'll regulated families the
hired girl has to get up and dust.
Don't get in debt to a shoemaker if
you would call your sole your own.
Thanksgiving approaches, and the wise
turkey will at once commence taking
anti-fat.
A man never warts to laugh when a
Hy lights on his nose, but he is greatly
tickled.
II declare. it beats awl," ls the shoe.
maker said the first time be used sew.
ing machine.
A Western woman has lost two hus-
bands by lightning. She ought to marry
conductor. -.----
"Pat, what are you digging that hole
for ?" "It's not the hole, sir, it's the
dirt, I'm digging"
Milk is nutritious, but the chap who
drinks half gallon of it must feel COM
pletely cowed down.
II stand corrected" as the boy said
who was too sore, after thrashing to
sit down in comfort. .
An experienced lawyer says that
when witness spits frequently the
the chances are that he is lying. ..
One of the early Buddhist kings was
doubtless given to kissing the wine cup.
Ee was Asoka, and lived $50 B. 9.
None worship the modern golden
calf so defereptially and devoutly as
those who are doing their utmost to melt
him.
A man in western Iowa, who is q
candidate for three Offices, has invented
a method of shaking hands by postal
card. ..s4 .
Gen. Ben Butler says he has but
ono thing to beg pardon for on his
death bed that's helping to elect
Hayes q!
IF YOU ask an obstinate man to in-
cline his ears to reason, he is apt to in
cline them backward, like mischievouS
horse. ....
The man who Is not afraid of war or
yellow fever, is generally afraid to take
out paper of tobacco in the presence
Of crowd.
A woman can't put on any side-sad-
die style when the goes in swimming.
She has either to kick out like man or
get drowned.
The true pleasure of temperance, and
the many benefits that follow sobriety,
cannot be imagined by those who live
dissipated lives. -.
A French writer has described a
young lady as a creature that ceases 10
kiss gentlemen at twelve and begins
again at twenty.
A Paris reporter, describing a duel
says: "The witnesses placed the two
adversaries at an equal distance from
each other"
A seven year old Cincinnati boy, on
whose bread his mother would not
put butter, went directly to the river
and drowned himself. .....
An observing young gentleman of al
most three years said, during pause in
the conversation "Mrs. Jones, let your
teeth down again" ~.
The afectionate husband always takes
off his boots in the hall when he comes
in late at night, that the slumber Of
innocence may not he disturbed.
First lady-"Why do they call those
balls foul ?" Second lady-"Dou't
know, unless because the pesky things
arc continually flying over the fence"
1t has been decided in London |
court that when two passengers in
railroad car quarrel as to whether a
window shall be open or closed the con-
ductor shall settle the dispute. - |
The time of the year has come when
the pretty garter-snake crawls out OF
the hollow backlog to the domestic
hearth, and makes the house little too
warm for the timid occupants.
"One-half of the world don't know
how the other bali live |" exclaimed a
gossipiDg woman. "Oh, WE'LL" said
her neighbor. "don't worry about it
'tisn't your fault if they don't know"
"Will the boy who threw that pepper
on the stove please come up here and
get present Of a nice new book Z" said
a Sunday school superintendent IN !
Iowa; but the boy never moved. He
was fer seeing boy.
Some man with an cagerness for fame
has invented spring-seat saddle that
will rock man to sleep on the hardest
going animal. What this country needs
is some kind Of saddle that will hold a
man down on the rocf of a horse when
he suddenly, and without warning,
points at the sly With his tail.