The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-04-04
SENSE AND NONSENSE.
A NEW hired girl sweeps clean.

SENSE AMI NVNSENSEs
A NEW hired girl sweeps clean.
F1RE-ALMs-The gift of load Of
wood.
LADIES neckties are worn tied in
sailor-knots.
THE place to knock spots out of
things-thc dye-house.
In Saxony the people smoke beet
leaves in place of tobacco.
SOME people are like eggs, too full Of
themselves to hold anything else.
No MAN ever yet had hard cold
that he didn't havea soft time over it.
Free Press.
AN exchange asks: "Can we drink
with impunityy' Certainly you can, if
Impunity invites you.-Ecchange.
The first house-dy of the season is a
perfect copy of the old insect, full
weight and of standard sauciness.
We are saved by hope. The hope of
better days, of better times, of better
practices and of better intelligence.
LUCIUs 0. CUNT has been sentenced
to the Delaware Penitentiary. Poor
place for l.. 0. Worcester
Press.
The Couricr-Journal hints that the
sting of bees will cure rheumatism.
Hanging man will also cure the
Group.
Mr.. JOHN AKHURsT, a naturalist, of
Brooklyn, in letter to a gentleman in
Boston, defends the English sparrows,
saying that they are very useful birds.
The people Of England are eager for
war. They propose to whip Mr.. Brad
laugh if it takes every life and exhausts
the entire Treasury.-Butato Express.
A BARKING dog never bites. but the
same measure of confidence isn't to be
placed in buzzing bee, even if he
does go to war MISUNDERSTANDING
Democrat.
CUTTING for the Cutter-Hairdresse
(anxious to puff his anti-bare's grease:
Excuse me, sir, but you are lee
tie" Old gentleman. "Bald, eh?
Yes, was born so!'
He who labors for the elevation IF
the masses has noble though oftimes
a thankless task. The duties are ardu-
Gus, the struggles great, yet the results
sought are worthy all sacrifice and eff
fort.
THE new ornaments for bonnets are
in the shape of golden feathers, gold
and silver filigree flies, bees and
beetles, with steel points scattered over
the wings and bodies and forming the
eyes.
PERSONS contributing spring poetry
will be required to hand in the names
of the friends whom they have selected
as bearers, not for publication. but as
evidence of good faith. - Worcester
Press.
A YOUNG lady astonished friend the
other day by asking for "thc loan of a
diminutive arSentcous truncated cone,
convex on its summit and semi-perfor-
ated with symmetrical lamentations"
or in other words, thimble.
IT is reported at the Secrct-Service
Bureau that leading counterfeiters are
making their arrangements so that they
will be able to supply fac-similes of the
new silver dollar within a few days
after the Philadelphia Mint begins oper-
atoms.
"DoN'T give me awayr' is an ex-
preston much III vogue among a class
of young fellows who affect the>slang
of the period. But, as many of them
are of no value whatever, how is it
possible to dispose of them unless they
are given away?
THE Dallas CTex.) Herald recog-
nizes Northern grit and enterprise, and
speaks in praise of the colonies from
the North, who d" fling themselves with
impunity beyond the line of our utmost
settlements, and wrest new territory
from the clutch of mature and the saw
age.'
AN Australian is trying to invent a
machine which shall reap, thresh, clean
and bag wheat us it moves along.
When he gets it done America will add
an attachment which sells the wheat,
grinds it, puts it into barrels and stamps
each barrel with four XXXX.--Detroit
Free Press
In an independent school-tlistrict
near Philadelphia, the other day, one
mar acted rs Judge, Inspector and
Clerk, cast the only vote polled, and
returned the usual certificate to the
Clerk of the Court. He did not bolt,
nor was there any scattering vote in
his r.ccinct.
The people Of Caroline County, Nd,
are blessed with temporary freedom
from crime. The County Jail has been
empty ever since last October, and it is
now proposed to rent it on the most adj
santageOus terms possible, SO as to
bring little revenue to the county. 1t
is not even used to lodge tramps, for
none travel that way.
A YOUNG man, recently married, who
has been an enthusiastic collector OF
coins. found that his wife, with the
charming freshness characteristic of
brides, has been drawing on his cabinet
for change, and, among other things,
had passed out an old penny for which
he paid $3.50, for a cents worth OF
yeast. That yeast "raised'' more in
that household than any previous in
yestment of the same amount of MONEY!,
"WHAT shall do?'' says Mrs. Fidg-
ct. elf l dress in plain clothes, the
sweet little dry-goods clerk, who sup
poses that every flashily-dressed wom-
an is rich or extravagant, will turn up
his darling nose in mighty scorn, and
show me nothing but the poorest and
cheapest goods. On the other hand, il
put on my best dress, with the poke,
behind, some pickpocket is certain to
get all my money, and then l have moth
ing with which to pay my bill at the
dry-goods store. If this isn't world
Of trouble, should like to know itv'
Can't Martin Scott