The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-06-13
My AdvertIasment.

They cannot be blamed for that, for the
most wearisome of all existence is the
one where to be successful, many years
of embarrassment and almost f,uitless
toll are required.
1t was while passing through my pc
riod of such service that misfortune ac-
cumulated around me, and forced the
alternative Of disappearing between two
days, or seeking some channel by which
a visible support could be obtained.
Utterly unfit for any purpose save the
practice of medicine, and mostly incom-
petent for that, it was with feelings Of
despair | one morning awoke to the
fact that my landlady had during the
night seized all my properties for rent.
What position to be in Nothing left
but breeches, boots and gown.
l lay in bed till dinner time, cogita-
ting upon the pass to which the loss of
the articles reduced me- Then bright
idea appeared. Springing up, has
tened to the table; wrote an advertise
ment; rang the bell and handed 1t to
the landlady, requesting her to publish
it in the morning paper, after which
her bill should be settled.
| For ADoPTION.-Af fine healthy male.
All claims surrended to reliable parties.
Inquire of DR.. Samuel, 10 Jones street.
Putting on the garments remaining to
me, awaited developments. Soon the
door-bell rang, and fat, puffy man,
with fat puffy woman clinging to his
arm, was ushered Into che room.
Where's the boyp' shouted the
man, dropping into chair, as the wife
sank breathlessly into another. l sur
veyed them through my Eyeglasses,
waiting for them to cool of,
"Good Heavenl can't yog show me
the boy?" impatiently inquired the
man.
Yes, somebody else may, come"
whispered the mate, as she wiped the
perspiration from her brow.
l arose, and with both of them eyeing
me eagerly took my stand before the
fireplace, my soul too full for rutterance.
Glancing from one to another, noticed
their curiosity was fully excited, and
then mOurnfully said, 81 am the male"
The sentence took away what breath
was left, and they sat and stared at me
until the effort became painful,
At last the old man recovered sufli-
GENTLY to start to his feet and make a
bee line for the door, whittier he was
followed by his better-half, who, as she
reached the step, turned and with look
of contempt remarked, "Don't you
think you've done it?"
The next conner was a tall, rough
man inquiring for hat boy, as though
he were package of merchandise. He
went straight to his purpose, and could
not be induced to temporize. Upon
being told it was myself, he rose in
wrath and stared at me and growled,
"Durn your eyes, if | had cowhide
I'd horse-whip you!'
Glad when the door closed upon him.
1 waited with some curiosity for the
next visitor. Twas an old maid so deaf
that she could not be made to under
stand the nOn-appearance Of the "baby
boy" For half an hour | tried to ac-
quaint her with the fact that it was
myself wished to be adopted, till at last,
fondling her ear-trumpet as she would
have done veritable baby, she turned
upon me bland and child-like smile,
saying, Bringee outee goodee pootee
lite boy" Falling upon my knees be-
side her, seizing her hand in mine.
poured my heart before her, and again
told her was the boy.
Judging from my position was max
ing II declaration of love, her face as
sumcd fiercely savage expression, and
she launched into the most voluble refu-
sal any man eyer sustained. Expend-
ing her breath and vocabulary, for she
rapidly talked herself into towering
rage, she rushed to the door, screaming
as she went, "Did | ever! Mahala
Falcon in strange room with strange
man!'
l went to my chair very much dis
couraged; the hours had sped rapidly
by, and barring the bread and water
Mrs. Smith allowed me, had tasted
nothing for two days. Many straits
had weathered, but none so narrow
as that. What was the use of living or
struggling for food and clothes, and then
to die just as old age had brought sue
cess Why not end all at once, and seek
in oblivion the rest denied me on earth ?
Thoughts of suicide had been long fa-
miliar to me; now they swept over my
brain with redoubled vigor. Finding
in my drawer a lancet, | whetted the
point on the back of book, and pre-
pared q final exit by tracing the course
of a large artery | proposed to divide.
All prepared. | was about entering the
border land Of death, when the bell
rang with a merry peal, and stayed my
hand. A young and handsome woman
entered the apartment. Seeing me, she
hesitated for moment, and had time
tonotice, in the dim light of the even
ing, hor mourning dress, and the sad,
pale countenance, that told of sorrows
experienced and remembered.
"Is this the place advertised" said
she, holding out the morning paper,
"and can l see the childP"
There was that in the quiet twilight
of the winter evening and the low sweet
voice of the speaker that proclaimed
me saved. .o,,