The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1878-11-14
SCISSORS AND PASTE.


The paragrapher that was hanged
said to the crowd around the gal
lows, ''This life is but hemp tie
show 1r
A man never realizes how little
he knows about the weather until
be predicts a pleasant day and
leaves his umbrella at home.
A PARIS reporter, describing a
duel. says: "The Witnesses placed
the two a5versaries at an equal dis
lance from each other"
Said a philosopher, 81 don't like
man on short acquaintance, be-
cause he is almost sure to be
short on intimate acquaintance"
''Pay as you CO." is said to be the
philosophers stone. II we had fol-
lowed this advice what a different
state of affairs we would have in this
countrys- --s-. sas ~ Is
Go West young man. 1t is p
charming place. Those who don't
freeze to death in winter get sun
struck in summer. The others get
killed by tornado.
When a New Orleans mule is
sunstruck they apply ice TO the
head and pour half pint Of brandy
down his throat. Don't you wish
that you was a mule.
From the time boy is eight
years old until he is thirteen he de-
votes two solid hours every day Of
his busy life in learning how to
make a new kind of noise.
1t was an apt reply of Simpkins
who. when his wife asked him if he
wouldn't like to hold the yarn while
she wound it, replied: Thank you,
1 don't banker after it,"
An Ohio young lady committed
suicide on Sunday because her ia
Their would not consent to her mar
riage with his hired man. Now, an
Indiana girl would have simply left
a note saying, Deer father, we hev
dew. forgiv your Tilda"
Norristown Herald: "Ingersoll
made 100000 out OF Hell. lex.
Our profane Contributor says he
will never make that much in it,"
May be not, but it wont be because
he hasn't thrown his whole soul
into it, Courier Journal.
ada L. NJ" writes to a paper
published near Button that she
wants husband, aged twenty-six
or twenty-eight, a farmer, andsa
man. who knows something more.
than measuring a few yards of cal
leo. Address her at Button, Tex.
No clerks need apply.
Courier journal: just before
Harry Bassett died his owner, Col.
McDaniels was offered and refused
$4,000 for him. His death is sup
posed to have been caused by
complication Of diseases brought on
by establishment at his owners
tomfoolery in refusing to sell ham
at that price. 1t was enough to
have killed mule.
'Have you seen a mad dog 90 by
here just nowP' sMad dog--mer
cyw gasped the woman, and she
threw four wet shirts on the
ground in n heap and got into the
house at four bounds. The boy
maintained his position, and after
few minutes the woman put her
head out of the door and asked:
slave youP' "Noam,' was the
balm reply; 81 CUES the season for
'em has drawed TO a close"
Austin TEX Statesman: The
Elkton Ky Register says "Rey.
j. NJ. Gill found black snake in
his back yard last week. and raking
it from some bushes made it mad,
when it disgorged garter snake.
After killing the snakes he placed
them side by side, and the garter
snake was the longer of the two"
That's exactly what the Greenb back
party of Texas have done with the
Radical party, swallowed a garter
snake longer than itself, and in due
time it will crawl out and show
itself at full length.
About as difficult an undertaking
as a minister is ever called TO is
that of praying in party conven
ton. A Methodist pastor essayed
to lead the devotions of such a con
vention the other day in Massathu
sets. He prayed in this wise: 20
Lord Jesus, we implore Thee 10
save the commonwealth of Massa-
chusetts. Prevent, by Thy inter
posing grace, 0 God, the folly of
Maine being perpetrated IN this
Commonwealth; but We pray Thee
TO give us sound currency, pure
literature, pure MORALS, and high
and noble conduct on the part OF
the people"
A young Mexican picked up
eighteen eggs by holding them like
an eye-glass between his cheeks AMI
nose, and deposited them In his ear
without using his hands; then
broke the eggs between his knees
and beat them into a foam with a
fork held bctwesn his toes; then
pealed ten lemons with his teeth
while standing on his head,
and ran a quarter of mile on
his hands. while he mixed the eggs
and lemons in a large punch bowl;
then, without taking of his coat, he
caught up with the Southern bound
fast train, ran with IL two miles,
during which he uncorked a bottle
of whisky, mixed IL ia with the 9th
er ingredients aud gave several OF
the passengers a drink through the
windows, and then hoped back 70
the starting point holding the emp
w punch bowl extended on the 9th
er leg, accomplishing the entire Sc
ries OF feats IN ten minutes and a
half.
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