The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1878-11-14
RATES OF ADVERTISING.
'TzcI D VIZ VIA y Z NJ N. 9 m -Iy
WHOLE NO. 1888.
Miscellaneou

A great tail bearer the peacock.
A fine affair-ten dollars and costs.
How to rear mule-tickle his hind
legs.
No more hot weather-good by. sweet
| hot, good by.
A man named Beans lives in the Sixth
| ward, but we don't know him.
The small boy who didn't know it
was loaded, is being heard from.
Money paid for wig is like musical
concord, because it's ha'r rmoney
The man who cast his bread upon the
watersheds water, we suppn"e
The man who darts from one subject to
another is an arrow minded fellow
Most oil operators in this region have
drilled not wisely, but too many wells.
tanners son got licked the other
day for calling his father hide daddy"
There was fall in stocks when the
old fashioned neck gear went out of
style.
A practical joke is poor fun. because
the laugh doesn' t reach all the way round.
File your local paper" advises con.
temporary. If it is sharp it doesn't need
filing
The great trouble with mankind is that
a kind man is the exceptional individual.
We have seen many a poor horse out
in driving rein, and not q wet hair on
his back.
Young man. if you want sweet heart
any respectable butcher will supply you
with one.
Every dog has his day; but the nights
belong to the cats.
When a reporter attends a trotting
match he tries to write racy account of
it
WHITTIER thou goest. ghost" is what
Hamlet said to the MISTER 'iiz,,ion of his
deceased progenitor
Widows over fty cannot marry again
in Portugal In this country widows
never get married over fifty
It's an i'll wind that blows nobody good
The yellow lever is driving the tramps
out of the infected region
Joaquin Miller weeps because Italy is
not his native land. We join our tears
with his.
If your neighbor begs your cake, and
is supplied on every occasion with
sponge cake" she ought to take the
hint.
Dan Rice has little trouble in collect
ing menagerie He finds the wolf al
ways waiting at the door.
There are few sights more inspiring
than four foot young man with six
inch cigar stuck in his mouth.
Johnny was whipped at school for
piece OF mischief done by another boy.
Verdict. misplaced switch.
When the Sultan loses his temper the
ladies of the household speak OF him as
harem scare 'em fellow.
There never would have been any milk
in the cocoa nut if some of our dairymen
had had the construction of il
Economy is wealth" mntt-red the
man in the prncrssion, - H. j.a~ cut his
torch and poured th. oI ,",, s. rr.tle, to
carry home to his wre
Bleeding VI the nose car be- stopped by
telling a man that his parents w.r- born
in the poor house His muse will stop
aud yours will begin.
Wnen a barefooted boy steps on the
end of pin. he may, with indisputable
propriety, be said to be surveying the
world from a very lively standpoint.
Smith and Jones were examining
gun that was not loaded" OF course it
went off Smith was filled with remorse,
and Jones with bird shot No 2.
You may talk about the lean and
hungry Cassius," but did you ever take
side view of the man who has run a store
or ten years without advertising2
An exchange prints remedy for hard
times, 1t is simply to go to work and
save your money. 1t is a marvel that
his was not thought of several years ago.
The tramps are lucky lot, after all
he returns are all in. and it is positive
act that not a single, solitary tramp lost
. dollar by the Bank OF Glasgow failure.
The clothes-line with its whIted freight
Swayed gently too and Iro.
How low, apt said he, "the poets lines,
4Hls WoIlu y u SneetlnS now
Did you ever hear an old osken bucket
break loose and rattle down well2
Y esq Then you have heard h. oratory
,i Stewart L. Woodiord
What are our good m-n in,n22 iran.
lcaliy asks an excitrd p,iiiic4i editor.
Writing paragraphs. and iry,ng to keep
lp first class appearance on second
class salary
Queen Victoria asked the King oi Siam
f he would like to be decorated, and the
Did fellow said, "Y es if you'll take me as
Siam"
Says Pat to his girl "By the Powers,
A canondhrum 1 hev fer ye, dear,
Why are ye like the goddess of flowers?
Sure ye never will guess it, fear.
"The ansor III be afther givin',
Now, thin, dye mind me, swate Nora?
It's two sthories high ye are livin,
That makes ye a rale second Flora ~
young lady will sit in the dark with
a great big man beside her for four hours
at time; but you couldn't get her 10
stick her nose in the cellar way after six
o clock for love or money.
We lean more upon The gate,
And gaze In eyes of brown,
Not that our paths run separate,
But cause the fence Is down.
-[Meriden Recorder.
Wen tell to her sweet words no more,
Less she invite us in
For the nights are growing chilly
Our garments growing thin.
: [Gowanda Enterprise.
But in the parlor, round the stove,
We'll gather of