The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-09-13
OTHER SEX.

A lady writing from one of the fash
iOnable watering places declares that the
low necked dress is an abominatiOn into
which it is the duty of the press to look.
A little Brooklyn girl being reproved
the other day by her elder sister for US
ing a slang expression, sharply retorted,
"Well, if you went into society more you
would hear slang"
A seaside belle left her bathing shoes
outside of her hotel window TO dry, and
the next day the local papers announced
that such hotel had put up new avn
ings of an unique design"
Lady giving an apple to little boy !:
'Give this apple to the one of us three
here whom you think the handsomest.''
The boy looked for a moment at all
three ladies, took the apple and ate it.
An old lady in Middlebury, Wiscon-
sin, crossed over bridge marked "dan-
gerous" without seeing the sign. On
being informed of the fact on the other
side, she instantly turned in great alarm
and recrossed it.
When Major Nepeau came home to
England from Madras and was about to
smoke in Mrs. Nepeau's boudoir, his
wife objected. MA" said her little son,
you used to let Mr.. WOolley smoke
here" The boy was put to bed.
Said an aristocratic little miss, 'Ma,
if l were to die and go to Heaven, should
I wear my MORE antique dress ?'' mo,
dear, in the next world we shall not
wear the attire of this.'' ''Then, ma,
how would the Lord know belonged
to the best society ?"
"Sonney,'' remarked mother to her
young hopeful, eff boys were half as pa
tient in their attention to their studies
as they are in learning how to skate on
rollers, they would be perfect angels"
''That's so, ma" said the boy, 'sbut they
wouldn't have near so much fun"
A girl in Trenton, N. j. married a
Hungarian nobleman, and now she
takes in washing six days in the week
instead of two, as formerly, in order to
support her new title with sufficient
style. Promotion in the social scale al
ways brings increased responsibilities
with 1t.
Young women should not be too ready
to physically distinguish themselves.
The enterprising young woman of Bal
timore who stepped upon a mans knee
and thus stood above all the Others of a
party who had climbed the white noun
tains, has been put in the Police Ga
zette, with an immense exhibit of stock
ings.
a little three-year-old girl, who volup-
teered 70 say grace at the table, did so as
follows: sOh, Lord, bress the things
j we eat; Dress mamma and papa, and
gramma and granpa,"- here, casting
up her eyes to her Grandfather in the next
seat, and discovering that he was smil
ing, the little one closed her prayer by
saying: Behave yourself grandpa,-fo1
Il Christ's sake. Amen.
Il Little Oracle was dressed one day In
the whitest of dresses when, being LEFT
alone, she began to investigate a coal
bod, getting inside, and as black as pos
sible- When her mother came back
she, seeing her look of amazement, drop
ped on her knees, put her little chubby
hands together before her face and said
20, Lord, give us patience, and Hs
did At least Oracle got off easily thai
time
At Paris matrimonial agency. @Ws
have just the thing you want-an or
lphan of 20 next grass" Pretty p
! .sN-no, not exactly % worth
Half q million francs In governments
Then she is consGmptive-r sConsump
tive, Ell! Well, that's always something
I Perhaps, however, you are only exciting
my hopes to-" ssSig, the house ALWAYS
guarantees its goods 70 be as repre-
sentedh