Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1878-03-07

er the gentleman in front, which, as he ha
ut no excuse handy, was not done withou
n considerable trouble. When the hubbu
se was over, the victim said ''Didn't you te
p me to tap that man with my stick:'' "Yes.
70 ''And what did you want?'' ''Oh," sal
Phoenix, with imperturble gravity, 81
i wanted to see whether you would tap hin
c. or not!''
, ''Jack Holiness" a man-about-town, liv
n ing no one knew how, was once unde
n cross-examination by certain sergeant-at
d law, who knew his man too well. "Now
+ sir" said the learned gentleman, "tell IT,
d jury how you live.''
d 'Well'' said Holmes, "a chop or steak
e and on Sunday perhaps little bit Of fish
T. | am very plain-living man,
e "You know what mean. SIR" thunder
r ed the questioner. "What do you do for
d living?''
:, ''The same as you, Sergeant" said the
n witness, tapping his forehead suggestively
!. land when that fails 1 do''-going through
}. the pantomime of writing across his hand
t Ia little bit of stuff-the same as you
| again."
f "My lad, I shall not ask this obtuse wit.
ness any more questions" said the angry
? counsel.
5 '.Brother,' said Baron Martin, IL think
J you had better not.'
Here is hint for our old friend the
J clown in the pantomime. At the burning
> ola provision store, the crowd helped
themselves freely. One man grasped a
huge cheese as his share of the salvage:
rising up with it he found himself face to
face with a policeman, and with admirable
presence of mind put the plunder into the
officers arms, saying: "You had better
take care of that, policeman, or some one
! VII be walking off with it,
Ea,:;.'lly ready to relinquisii his lot when
there was 20 help for it was a Chicago ne
gro, caught by pou;;::rv fancier in the act
of carrying off some of his i've stock. and
challenged with: "What are you doing
with my chicken.'' II WIZ swine fer to
fetch them back. boss" exclaimed he.
''Dere's nigger roun' here, what's bin
disputin along er ME bout dem chickens.
l said dey wuz Coachin Chyniz an he said
dey wuz Alabarmar pullets, an wuz jes
takin 'em roun' fer ter stablish my nollidge.
Dey don't lay no aigs, Goes dey. boss? Eff
dey does, I'm mighty shamed of hustlin'
'em roun.' Aigs is scase.''
Impudently cool as the darkey was. he
must yield the palm for eifrontery to the
Erie Railway guard whose interview with
NT 81, IA ftI,eS fo<ls in
can paper:
..You are Il conductor on the Erie, be-
lieve?'
Eyes, sir.''
"How long have you been on the road:''
''Fifteen years.
'.Worth some property, learn?'
..Some.'
.sIIave a very fine house in Oswego:
Cost you some thirty, forty or fifty thous-
and dOlars?"
..Yes, sir.''
'SSome little money invested in bonds,
am toltl:''
''Yes, sir.''
.:Own farm near where you reside?'
"Yes, SIR"
Had nothing when you commenced as
conductor on our rOad?'
''Nothing to speak of.''
''Made the property since:'
''Yes, SIR"
s'Been at work for no other parties?''
mo; but have been saving money, and
invested it from time to time to & cd adj
vantage"
'.Well, sir, what will you give to settle:
OF course you cannot pretend to say you
have acquired this property from what you
have saved from your salary? You will
not deny that you have pocketed great
deal of money belonging to the railway
at least fifty or sixty thousand dollars:
Now, sir, what will you give to settle, and
not be disgraced, as you certainly will be
if trial is brought, and you are compelled
to give up the property you profess to own,
but which in reality belongs to the COM
pany?'
"Well, Mr.. Manager, had not thought
of the matter. For several years l have
been running the train to the best of my
ability. Never looked at the matter in this
light before. Never thought was doing
anything wrong. I have done nothing
more thar other conductors; tried to earn
my salary and get it, and think 1 have sue
ceeded. Idon't know that owe the COM
pany anything. If you think l do, why,
there's difference of opinion, and l don't
want any trouble over it. 1 have nice
family, nice father and mother, relatives
all of good standing, they would feel bad
to have me arrested and charged with dis
honesty. 1t would kill my wife. She has
every confidence in me, and the idea that l
would take penny that did not belong to
me would break her heart. don't care
anything tor the matter myself; but on ac-
count of my family and relatives, if you
won't say anything more about it, I'll give
you, say-a dollar ~ Chambers Journal.
COldness Of Manner.