The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1878-05-11
VARIETY.

VARIETY.
Some school girls in Pennsylvania were attack
ed by rattIesnakes and frightened them away by
Haunting their red petticoats Dear dear ! why
didn't Eve think of that?
If England does 90 to war with Russia and a
lot of the his get snarled up with those Russian
names-gOod Heavens what volcano for the
poor night editors.
London WorLd:-' There is no enterprise in
the world which for its success requires such
combination of mental and mechanical powers
of organization, of administrative skill, Of
busness-like aptitude, political knowledge, ex-
periencc of the world and literary judgment
newspaper
Lorenzo Day, of Iowa, having married Miss
Martha Week, a local paper comments
Time should complain
There'I be little Days enough
To make the Week again.
Faith is generally represented as a bedraggled
female clinging to a sea-washed rock, but for
simple, trusting, undeiiled faith, point to an
editor paying postage on the paper of delin-
quent subscriber BrOokville Democrat.
The discovery has been made that the world
does not revolve with the same momentum it
did . thousand years ago, but it still swings
around fast enough to satisfy the man with
heavy note coming due.
Inc pIeSSlOH IudI Ine Eil5Ilsn ueSl8n on the
American dollar gives you, is that the eagle has
Just been reused from n brown study by an awful
and unexpected :. swipe'' across the back with
a stuffed Burlington Hawkeye.
The new Pope recently sent down word to
some noisy mendicants of doubtful poverty,
that besIeged the doors of the Vatican waiting
for the aims usually distributed on the occasion
of a new Pope, that - it was Gods will that
man should earn his daily bread by the sweat
L. -, > 4 III 81, oIo
The Grant party in ascending the Nile found
the name OFFS Powell Tucker, New York, 1870"
cut or painted on every monumental rock or
ruin along the way. y correspondent OF the
party calls upon us all to be proud of Tucker.
- In his own department of usefulness as a
handwriting donkey, he has given America
conceded, although scarcely an enviable renown.'
\ Syracusean bought phonograph. 1t stood
on a table in the dining-rOOm. The little joker
runs by clock-work, and his wife started it 60
ing the other day, and then went up stairs for
a few minutes, leaving her husband below.
When she returned she saw some indentatiOns
on the cylinder, and she it through to see
who had been talking in her absence. The
little truth-teller blurted out 50 Jane, come
here-you sweet little gum-drop. Now, give
me 4 kiss, before the old woman comes down
stairs - Jane the hired girl. She is
looking for a situation. The man wears a
wig.
There is a quaint touch of human nature IN
this aneodote that reminds us of the remark of
Emily Bronte that some people search the Bible
to find promises for themselves and curses for
their neighbors: Two Germans, fresh from
Chicago, visited New York. One of them. well
acquainted with the city, invited his friend to
dine at Delmonicos where dinner for two and
bottle of wine were ordered. The place and fare
were praised until the bill of $ll was presented.
This they considered an extortion. They paid,
hOwevar. and while walking down Broadway
THE excFSed German commenced to swear at the
supposed extortion. His friend then said:
- Do not shwear, GawcOb. 1t is wicked to
shwear' God has punished that Demonico'
IS How?" 81 have my pocket full NIT
spoons.
Tow CoRwIN and THE DARKEY.-Dr. Graham.
in 1852, was the proprietor of the Harrodsburg
iKyl EPSON Springs, since purchased by the
Government as a soldiers's home. He had
favorite negro called PiersOn, who the leader
of the colored band, and who, when not in the
ballroom or pavilion, walked about in faultess
broadcloth and kid gloves, and, it is said, would
seldom talk to Il negro woman not four-ffths
white, and never to negro. In the height of a
season, when he looked scorn on the donor of half
4 dollar, and only smiled when the eagle shone in
gold he ran away. Being educated, he had no
difficulty to write his passes and go to Ohio as
he had often been there before.
He went to Columbus to amuse himself with
legislation, and there he met Hon. Tom Corwin.
do not remember the date when he was Cover
Tom said. :. Is DR.. Graham here, Pierson?''
''No, sab L came Alone, he said.
'.Give my love to the family, and especially to
Miss Ella, when you go back" said Tom
81 am not going back, ruined away
''Why, PiersOn Did the doctor strike you ~
''He never so forgot himself said Pierson
s'Did you get into trouble?'
Il knows how to take care of myself said
Pierson, with dignity.
didn't give you enough to eat or wear?''
Picrson snapped dust mote from his shining
broadcloth and consulted gold watch, but never
deigned to reply.
Don't 90 to law. Ifyou feel that way, 90 sit
on bramble-bush, crawl through sewer.
Said Hon. Tom Corwin, solemnly, s. Don
-vou s.now, you misguided man, that thousands
Of vhife men would look with envy at position
not half SO easy and safe as what you fled from ?
You had no cares you were fed and clothed
and if the doctor lost his fortune you would be
Just as easy with another rich man, and make
money always. with no need to spend ="
Pierson replied gravely MARS Tom, that
rsituwation with al it's advantages, are open to
YOU if you like to g9 and fill it,
The by-standeEs roared and Tom started, and
suddenly remembered business in the State
House. 1t was tine only time in his life that he
dad no reply to give.