Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1878-05-01
From tho BurhgIon hawtsye'
The AIllng Man

appetite lie groaned when h' tool
up his bill Of fare, aud sighed rs HI
looked across the table at my order
aud then shook his head dolefully
and told tho waiter TO bring him
little boiled trout, with egg sauce
q biz ol boiled mutton, with cape
sauce, some roast beef trlae rare
just tastt Of roast lamb, turkey with
cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes
roast duck, some pork aud beans
Boston style, stowed tomatoes, corn
turnips, squash, peas, a bit of cold
tongue, some sharp relshes, aud cup
Of coffee. Then he ordered some
assorted cake, cranberry pie, Indian
pudding and Ice cream for desert,
aud said he felt darned sight more
like dying than eating,
"lf he dies as well rs he cats, just
imagine, just think, what glori'
ous, triumphant death that man will
die.
"Shorly after dinner the poor man
camo into tho coach, aud sat down
opposite me.
"Ah," he said with u deep groan,
~ don't know what would give il
| could eat like you.
"Sir," | said in fine burst OF in
dignation, for | feared he was going
to accuse me Of swallowing my knife
every ,nc I took q bit OF pie, and !
just made up my mind that ! would
cut his heart out il he limited at such
q thing.
ooh, it's a iact," he replied. 81
haven't enjoyed n meal for years.
"What, is it possible! | asked in
amazement.
"Indeed, yes" he said, 'I'm all
out Of fix. Two got no liver at all, to
speak Of.
l didn't suppose one liver would be
of any accoun; to hi" ""thor
thought that il he could get q couple
of gangs of livers, and work them
by rclets, they might be able to help
him along, especially il he had them
made of tin. But then he was
stranger to me, so didn't feel justified
in making the suggestion.
"No," he continued, "my liver is of
no more account than lump of lead.
81 suppose" he said plaintively, "lt's rs
big as four of yours.
And he looked at me with an appeal.
ing glance, as though he expected, me
to take my liver out and let him ex-
anime 1t. as though it were an oreide
watch he wanted to trade for.
Now, if there is any thing in this
wide beautiful world that will make
me mad, it is to have man
that is ailing sit down and bore me
with list of his diseases and a detail
ed description of his anatomical de-
rangements. And the men OF free
America, it seems to me would rather
talk about their perishing livers than
their never dying souls, and it always
makes me mad for man to come at
me and burden me with complaints
about the torpidity of his liver, as
though | was his physician. am
proud to confess to the blindest, densest
ignorance concerning my own inner
hle. I don't know whether my liver
is round or shaped like gun case,
and / don't know where 1t is, and |
don't care continental, although l
always had the impression that it was
Just under the shoulder blades. So
said to the man, with very great
enthusiasm.
"Oh, do tell me all about your liver
| should so like to know about 1t.
I am so interested In such things.
The man looked little susprised at
my sudden enthusiasm, but he said
there wasn't much to tell about it.
1t was as torpid, he said as snake in
December.
'Oh, charming charming !" ex-
clamed "And is it tame Z! Do you
let it run around loose or do you have
TO keep it chained up'
The stranger started, and looked
as though he would like to sit little
further away. He said he didn't exactly
understand me.
Sand how is your spleen I / asked
eagerly. "And your ventricles : Do
tell he about your thoracic duct. and
how do you get along with your ton
sils &! And have You raised any new
bones since l saw you last; and when
did you hear from your diaphragm
Do tell ue all about your viscers