The Portland daily press., 1878-08-09
Nasty.
Farther EnlaIiOm-FOur New Hanks
And, Finally, Every Man His Own
EanLcr.
CoNFEDRIT X. RoADs.

Confidence ard Trust Company. They are
agettin $40 bushel for wheat, and about the
same for oats and corn, and men now talk NV
thousands wich never before knowd how to pro-
nounce the word, but yet they amt happy.
They hev hankerin after redempshun nv
sum sort-they demand to know when this
money Nv ourn is again to be redeemed in suth-
in else-sum other kind Nv money-ez tho our
money, backed by faith, want ez good ez any
in the world. Ef these malcontents wood only
take it and look pleasant there woodent bs any
truble about it.
But thes~ men are not the worst we hey to
contend with. The citizens wich are the
stanchest supporters Nv the new money hev de-
termined that, ef we hev the rite to ishoo money
they hev the same rite. And so fore noo banks
hev bin started this week.
Mackey and Burns started one, with Mackey
ez Pfesident and Burns ez Cashier, and mig
ger carpenter ez the Boord of Direkters. They
hev got the drop on US by requirn the officers
to give bonds, wich they accomplished by hev-
in Mackey sign Burns, Burns sign Mackey's,
and both sign the niger carpenters. Then
they hev another advantage over us, for they
bought their own press and print their owD
notes, wich, ez we hev to pay Simpson, the
printer, profit, enables them to make money
cheeper than we kin. They call their institoo-
shun ''The Nsshnel Benefit Assoshashen," and
hev the bankln offs in Mackey's bedroom in
the Program House,
Scasely wnz this bank histin out money
afore Squire Pettus and Gedney the shoe-mak-
er started another wich they called "rhe Bless.
lngs Diffusion Bank of North .Ameriky." with
the otis in Gedney's shoe shop. and they got
anead OF us by printin their notes in two colors,
wien must say gives em solvent look.
by this time wheat he'd got up to $40 per
bushel, and wuz scase at that
Then Parkins and Barney, the plasterers,
who he'd made great deal nv money since in
flashen set in, they had to start bank, wich
they called "Fhe Ekitable and Insashable
Bank Company nv the Yoonited States,' and
they ishooed their bills by the bushe.
Wheat went up Immediately to S38 per bush
ell, and moo era Nv prosperity set in
Before these finanseers had got fairly under
way, Butts and Busterd conclooded they'd 90
into bankin, and behold one mornin the hills
nv the Labor Stimyoolatin Oompany-I. Butts
President" made their appearance. Thew
didn't hev any offs, for Butts sed he didn't see
no use OF an offs. He Good pay out money on
the street all he wanted to et the people wood
take 1t, and ez it never wuzn't goin to be re-
deemed, wat did he want of an offs? He
Waznt a goio to any such expense, for he
beeved III economEin To go to yooselis ex-
penses wuz to show culpable disregard NV the
interests Nv the people. Wheat went up to $45
per onsnei, and there wuz more prosperity.
Then troubles set in in chunks. The people
VINO wuz not interested in bapkiu refoozed, pint
blank, to take any Nv their ishoos Banks wuz
Q glttln rather too frekepe and the times wuz a
glttin ruther too prosperous. A reackshen ok
kured sgln our money wich we who wuz inter-
esGed determined to crush at wuntz.
The ofishls Nv the five banks in the town
met and decided to hold meetin Nv the citi-
zens, az wich steps shood be taken to legalize
our ishOos.
The meetin wuz held, and Nv co1rse we ker
EN- had our money in their pockets, and they
wuz very favorable to any ackshen that would
Keep 1t bilin. To that end we passed the fol.
lerln resolooshens:
Whareas. The Democrisy nv Ohio and Penr-
sylVany, with sngerly just approximation nv
the wants Nv the citizens Nv the Cross Rords
hev demanded more money, and
Whareas, Five compinies hev kerried out the
luee Nv the Democrisy Nv Ohio and Pennsyi-
vany by furnishin the people more money. and
Whareas, Notwithstandin the Unparalleled
prosperity that hez resulted from the increase
IN currency, certin men in the commoonity. by
refoosin to take 1t decline to be benefitted;
therefore, be it
Resolved, That this meeting NV citizens de.
mand Nv the Town Council that it townst cor
vene and pass an ordance maxim the ishoos Nv
the tive banks legal tender for everything from
drinks down to taxes, and that any citizen
"ho AeAoo1es W bdk6 H. OF mufmuES at lt, or In
any way discredits it, she'll be held ez public
enemy and be immeiitly hung
The whereases and the resolooshen was
passed TO wunst, and 1 felt easier With the
power to hang all who refoozed to take our
money, rather think kin make it current.
a rope over tho limb Nv treee is persuader
OF rare merit, and it is the best endorsement nv
our paper We kin possibly hav.
80 lar so good Bat jist ez / wuz feelin'
good over my success, that onmitigated cuss,
Jehiai ferKins, the man wat give his note to
bascom for barl Nv whisky with such distin-
gulshed success, rose and sed he he'd series of
whereasas and resolooshun to pass. He went
on to say that he he'd gived this question of
hinance great deal Nv study. He indorsed
fully the posishen nv the Democrsy NV Ohio
and Pennsylvany. He bleeved in more money
money ennff for everybody. He pinted with
pride to the development Nv the Corners since
the creashun Nv more money, and he bleeved
that still more money would make still more
prosperity. The idee wuz correct. The Gov
eminent shooc ishoO promises to pay and faith
shood make em good, without any such non
sense ez redeemin; and if the Government
shood do it, why shoodnt banks; if banks why
not indivijles? That's wat he wanted to know.
III ther wuz any such thing ez redeemin it in
gold or anything else, the people might hev the
rite to ask them ez ishood the gold or anything
else to redeem EN- with, but ez ther aint no re-
deemiDg perposed, why that question don't
come in. The people hev to hev faith, and
that's all the hevin ther is in the transackshen.
he wuz bleever in more money, and he pre-
posed { hev more money, and he bleeved that
them e. aad the greatest need for money shood
hev the privilege nv ishooin it; and so long as
the people took it from each other it anssered
all the purposes Nv money, aud wuz money.
Therefore he proposed the yoonan linus adop-
shun Nv the followin whereases and resoloo-
shens:
Wareas, Ell 700 hev good thing, you can't
hev too much Nv it; and.
Wareas, the increase Nv currency in the Corn
ers hes bin productive Nv prosperity such ez we
never dreemed nv; and,
Wareas. IL is the dooty Nv all earthly gov
ernments to diffoose its blessins ekally, thereby
imitatln the docs of heaviD, wich falls alike on
the just and the UNJUST and,
Wareas, the manufakter nv money shood
not be confined to the few, but shood be the
privilege Nv the many; and,
Wareas, we Recognize the jastis-and proprie-
ty nv compellin the people to take such money
ez may be ishood; therefore, be is
Resolved, That evry man may isho0 his notes
Nv hand in such sums as may SCOT his interest
or convenyence, and that such notes shell be
legal tender for everything, the same ez the
notes ishood by our five bank institooshuns
And the id ideots absolo0tly passed the
resolOoshen without a minit's delay, and they
demanded that the Council meet that very day
and pass the ordinance, which it did.
Ez evry last man Nv EN- commenSt writin
notes to wunst, and buyin all sorts Nv things
win EN-, We re- liable to have enut mouey at
the Corners immejtly-ez much ez our breth-
rem in Ohio and Pennsylvary wood desire
even.
Evrything in the shape NV labor hez bin
abandoned. for evrybody hez gone into the
manufacter Nv currency, that is, evrybody who
kin rite. Thank heven that they never fav-
ored skools here-the inability to use ink is the
only limit to our inflashen.
One single result has followed this ordinance
viz: Nobody has nothing to sell. went into
a shoe store yesterday thinkin to treat myself
to pare Nv boots, but the dealer hadn't any to
SELL
"But see hundred pares on the Shelves"
said L.
They have bin bort by people over 10 the
next county," sez the villin; 'they wuz bort
for gold. Possibly eff 700 he'd gold Good get
one OF EN- to sell you pare hisself."
And he sed suthin about bringing hoss to
water, but 700 coo1ent make him drink.
1t is plane to me that more legisashuu is a
goin to be necessary. Up to certn pint they
took our money, but somehow them ez aint
maxim it are a titin shy Nv it.
PETROLEUM V. NAsBY.
President Nv the Onlimited Trust and Conf
dence Company.
P. S.-Mor1 truble. Bascom ssz he's got to
hev somethin to 90 to Louisville with beside
our paper, or he'll hev to close. And all the
mecanics In the villige who hev to buy things
in Louisville are olamorin for suthin they kin
buy with, aud thretn ef they don't get it to
bust thinog VIM ny am imnuQentlV sed that