The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-04-06
VARIETIES.
Grows make common caws.
Still waters don't RIM at all


wood paper.
-Sheet-iron powder kegs are new
Pittsburgh product.
If it hadn't been a goose it wouldn't
have laid golden eggs.
The latest curtains are alternate
stripes of blue satin and lace.
Make friends with bear, but keep
hold of the ax.-RuSSian Proverb.
Gold and silver braids impart BIZ
metallic look to certain spring bonnets
Two long braids of hair in the back,
with Montague waves in front, are styl-
ish.
"A French wood-turner hangs out
the sign: "All sorts of PREPARATION
done"
Waste-baskets have no souls"
Perhaps not, but they are very fond of
spring poetry.
Artist" She is one of our greatest
female painters" The brute" Yes;
/ saw it in her face"
The Higher Education of Women
Learning how to walk in French boots
with six-inch heels.-Punch
Will the Director of the MINIS be
pleased to Linderman a few of those
new dollars?- Worcester Press.
Iowa has restored capital punish
ment. Westward the star of hemp-ire
takes its way.-M Y. Commercial.
Widows above fifty cannot marry
in Portugal. The law is designed as
protection for aged and innocent bach
elors.
1t is estimated that every man who
lives to be sixty years old has spent
seven months of his life buttoning his
shirt-collar.
The driver of the four-in-hand mail
coach between Chambersburg and Get
tysburg, Pa, is the wife of the mail
contractor.
The following laconic epitaph,
carved on Spanish tombstone, should
be remembered: q was well, tried
to feel better, took physic, and here [
am
Jacob Hobson, a Chatham On. c.
veteran of eighty-fve, is passing his
honeymoon with cher that was'' a few
days ago Rebecca Hobson, a spinster of
forty.
The George Washington sociable,
of men who could not tell lies, was
abandoned. The only guests who came
were two insurance agents.-Ronae
Sentinel
The corset is an Italian invention,
but the practice of tying one end of the
string to the bed post and pulling the
liver out of shape commenced in Louis
vile, KY.
A lady accosted boy standing at
a gate on Second street with: :.'Sonny, is
there to be mum social here to-night?n
He said: "No, num-" She passed.
Madison Courier.
Vain man, if you want your smok-
ing tobacco and can't find it, look for
it in your wife's fur box. 1t is coming
time to put such things away.-Bur-
hngtom HaUb-Eye.
Why have the funny men of Amer
lea been SO dull this winter? Answer
tirst-They haven't! Answer second
Because it's been such an nopun winter.
philadelphia Bulletin.
Persons contributing spring poetry
will be required to hand in the names
of the friends whom they have selected
as bearers-not for publication, but as
evidence of good faith.
The Oil City Derrick has it's opin-
ion of persons who use Latin. There
is the phrase "ad infnitum." No man
who spells item with "u," it thinks,
should set himselfup as Latin scholar.
AT one of the schools in Cornwall,
Enrl nd tho incnantn,. 81:
dren if they could quote any text of
Scripture which forbade man having
two wives. One of the children sagely
quoted in reply the text: No man can
serve two masters"
Judge w. E. Pierce, of Long Island
City, has asked the Legislature to pass
a bill abelishing his office and transfer
ring its duties to other courts. His
reasons are that very little business
comes before him, and he does not do
enough to earn his $500 salary.
"A Liberal League has been or
gained in Iowa which files its protest
against the exemption of church prop
erty from taxation, Sabbatarian laws,
the Government employment of chap
lains and State observance of fast-days,
and demands the expulsion of the Bible
from public schools.
When Mr.. Baker took to wife
A buxom little dear,
He fenced her in with both his arms
And whispered in her ear
Now do promise thee my love,
Meier from thy side to 90:
For like all bakers, little one,
daily need my doe"
-Ymkers Gazette
The first honeymoon discussion:
"No, Amy, you're quite wrong. l
never was refused in all my life'' 80
Tom, how can you say so? Why, there
was Louie Simpson" 81 tell you
again you're wrong, completely wrong.
It's true was declined with thanks
once, but never was refused"
We read of poor boy in New Bed
ford who was washed overheard re-
Gently and killed. We cannot warn
mothers too strongly against washing
children overheard; if they would only
wash them at home with tepid water
and soap, and dry them thoroughly
afterward, all danger would be averted.
-Ddnbury NetDS.
The resident of Washington Terri
tory having heard that another man
had cnttlad in tho ,uostar,, ,,o,+ sc Al