The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1878-04-20
mo- "a.
All sss-ts.

sleep on clOtneS line.
Many "play the knaye" without
ever coming to the card table.
There are six George Washingtons
iu the Pennsylvania State Prison.
When the thermometer falls. how
often on an average does it break
King Koffee, who has been boiling
over lately, has settled down again.
A WORKOUT shoe is like ancient
Greece, because it once had q Scion
tsole on). a7sNiH -" eF
1t is good thing to be above
board, but generally q bad thing
to be overheard. r
A French milliner conceived the
novel idea of having the ladies wear
their hats ON their heads. 1855
Why did she turn her back on you
young man 7 Innocent child! She
wished to make an exhibition of her
new Overskirt. 1855.
The Aldermen Of Kansas City are
irreverently spoken of by local
journal as ''the gentlemen with red
ewes and nose" ra.r h1a i30h
A New Orleans paper offers the
sentiment thus: ''GeOrge Washing
tOn-First in war, first in peace, and
last in getting a monument"
We can't all be run over by loco
motives or killed by boiler explosion.
An Indiana man has just been crush
ed to death in a corn grinder.
| 1t is singular that mineral waters
are only beneficial to the wealthy.
We never knew physician to ad-
wise a poor man to go to any water
ing place.
A Boston philosopher says that
you want to look at mans boot
heels to discover their energy. A
slow, slothful man runs his boots
over at the heels. zoe & .fbroa
| A Colorado exchange says; "The
Canon city girls don't take kindly
to croquet They say it is too high
toned for them. Leap frog is their
best hold" l a4a Sos 81
| According to Cincinnati paper,
John Thomas was recently sued by
Hester Prim for breach of promise.
"John Thomas, come into court J"
shouted the constable, John Thorn
rs needn't to come in to court me any
more," said Hester, prlmly.
"Why do they call the people
who live in the South Sea Islands
cannabals 7" asked an old lady of
sailor. because they live on other
people," answered the old sailor.
''Then my son-in-law must be q
cannibal,' said she, pensively, "for
he lives on me-"
| Nineteen years ago q Tennessee
father refused to let his young
daughter 20 to a candy-pull, and
she disappeared. Thee day she
returned, lifted eleven children out
of the wagon, and entered the house
and took off her things as coolly as
if she hadn't been gone over 4 day.
A fellow rushed into an Office one
morning with the interrogation:
"What's the difference between the
mice that have just been eating my
greenbacks and the epistles of Pauli'
All present subsidized, and he gasped:
"They are both scrip-chewers" and
then proceeded to the door.
"Have you finished that murderf"
was an expression heard, In stem
torian voice, by an outider, just
entering a printing Office. 1t had
such magical effect, that he imme-
diately stepped down and out the
front door, yowing that he would not
enter such murderous hole again.
A traveller called for mint sauce
at the Gilsey House the other day,
and the walters said they had none.
adding: sour cook makes all the
mince into pies, not sauce" This
probably is the same "traveler" that
called for "corn bread when q wal
ter said that they had none, adding,
.Isn't it corn bafe ye mane."
, A man went into a butchers shop,
and, finding the owners wife in at
tendance, in the absence of her hus-
: band, thought he would have . joke
. at her expense. and said: madame,
, can you supply me with q yard Of
/, porkf' "Yes, sir" she said; and
then, turning to boy, she added
} James, give that gentleman three
pigs feet"
81 have come for my umbrella,
: said lender of it on rainy day t.
Q friend. "Can't help that" said
: the borrower, ''don't you see an
!, going out with itf" SWELL, yes,
T replied the lender, astonished o
D such outrageous impndence; yea
but-but--what am | to do 10.
said the other, "A he opened the nm
sfAH a I a.