The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1878-08-22
,gutellige,1esr.
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.


= a man must necessarily keep his
word when no one viii take 1t.
why b1ga kiss like q sewing ma.
chine2 Becsase it seems So good. -
- Ohio has q boy with three eyes.
Lord help the fellow Who goes to Gee that
boys big aisters. $500 noalr
= No man ever acknowledges mis-.
take 60 quickly as when he puts the
lighted end of cigar in his mouth,
Il is aggravating to think up good
joke after getting to bed, and not be able
70 recall q word of It next morning.
- The young woman who used to sing
80 divinely, eOh, had 7 the wings of q
dove" is setisfed with chicken-Ieg now.
She is married. sN
IA correspondent sadly exclaims:
"How can coquette die happy ." She
can't IL there Is man around, and her
back hair isn't fixed to suit her. l-''
- An Albany woman woke her kus-
band during storm, the other night, and
ssia "I do wish you would stop snoring.
for want to hear the thunder"
= The County Of Richmond, of which
Augusta is the County seat, has adopted
the new fence law. It ia the only coun-
" in Georgia which has the new law.
= eff man has tiger by the tail,
which would be the best for bis person-
ALTO hold on or TO let go?" is suggest.
ed as conundrum for a debating socie-
ty.
"A Minnesota father who had five
grown-up daughters has sued the coun-
ty. He claims that his residence has
been used as courthouse for the paat two
years. 6 in'ti
- Observe young father trying ~
appease bawling baby, and you will
witness ingenuity enough in ten minutes
to make you think that the man oug :: %
be an inventor. t
"My son, hold up your head and
tell me who was the strongest man, Z"
"Jonah." "Why so7 "CauSe the
whale couldn't hold him after he'd got
him down."
--"f you want TO sleep well lay your
feet to the South" says medical journal.
If Jon have big feet VS. suppose you
have right to say IL to something. But
hasn't the poor South had enough laid
TO it? h.H ~.
- a man In Illinois committed sui
eide by drowning, lately, in six inches OF
water. He couldn't have done 1t alone,
but his wife, with oil that aelEsacrific.
ing devotion and helpfulness 90 charac.
Send an order to dealer of any
sor:, and see IL he dosen't write ESQ.,
aft,r Jop- pame when he replies that
youi order will be attended TO. The
businessman thinks ho sees, deep down
into human nature, and possibly he
does. .
- Ths AugIsts Mclcs says sixteen ne.
groes who returned from Liberia on the
AZor passed through the city Wednesday
morning on their way TO Missiasippi.
One OF them said he had carried away q
thousand dollars some years ago, and
now brought back nothiug all said
they had had enough Of Liberia.
= The young man was evidently hon
est in his Intentions, but three years OF
constant Cpuriiug hHd failed TO overcome
his excessive bashfulness. They were
sitting in chairs at respectful distance
apart. Said the young man, having
spent five minutes In search of O subject
How do yon get along with your cook
ing 2" "Nicely," replied the young miss,
NIT. MN an1apn9!d i%1p599y!ding s wonderfully; cd! can
"What kind do you like best?" 81 like
one made with -four and sugar ard citron
and raisins and currants, and lots OF
those things, and beautiful frosting on
top" responded the young miss. "Why!
that's wedding CAKE" exclaimed the
young man, nersausly. ''I meant wed4
ding, said tho young miss, 5hyiy. They
are published. d.-RocEiand Cburier. !
"A writer in tho National Republican,
states thatao many sections of .hacountry
are claiming the honor of being first i'd
the railroad field, the following dates
will serve to settle the vexed question
Ia 1897 the fret railroad .a the United
States was built, at QuincY, Mass, ex1
tending from tho granite quarry to fhe
Neponset River, three milea in length,
No steam Eiotive power, however, wns
used prior to tho advep. of, the TiSour!
bridge Lion" The second railroad wss
built in the Same year, extending fiam
the coal mines in Mauch Chunk River
to the Lehigh River, a distance Of nine
miles. The cars descended by gravity
and were hauled up again By mules. In
the year following, 1926, the Delaware
and Hudson Canal Company sought to
connect their mines with the canal, and
the road was built upon which, the first
locomotive, IS above Indicated, made its
trial. trip. Ons July Aoss tie eaHae year
the first sod W5s brok for the Bal ablote
and Ohio Railroad; therefore, the claim
the,s iue year the South Carolina Road
ct n 1sehced the construction Of track,
and their claim likewise goes By defanIs
MS r. the time yof sppaafaucs. Now, as
to I he other claims, the frat American
Z locomotiye--that Ia The fist one built IL,
America --came after these dates, and
the venerable Peter Cooper constructed
IL. .is,S I. 5.is lit 4 '..1i - :. |
ADDRESS OF SISTER SKrNnER.-Tho
following are tho opening. sentences OF