The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1878-03-29
spripg, Spring, Beautiful Spring.

Spring, spring, Beautiiui Spring.
The awful period of the year Is again
upon US when ones carpets are taken up
and beaten and then put down again.
AS the old Greek philosopher remarked,
"Nothing is certain except death, the
taxes, aud putting down carpets in the
spring" You leave your place OF bust.
ness in the middle of pleasant day, and
feel at peace with all the world. You
reach home and find the baby's face is
cleaner than it has ever been within your
recollection, and your tsvorite pie is
placed before you at dinner. Your wife
tells you how much younger you
are looking, and that she thinks she
can turn that last years gray walking
dress and save the expense Of q new one,
and winds up by kissing you and asking
you sweetly il you won't just help her to
take up the carpet. She gets q saucer to
put the tacks IN and gives you claw
hammer, and you get down on your
knees to help her. You feel eco
nomical with the first three tscks,
and take them out carefully,
while your wife tells you an interesting
story about the little boy who lives next
door. You soon come to tack with q
crooked head which comes of when you
get the claw under it. As 1t won't do TO
leave the tack in the floor, you go to
work and skin your knuckle and then
tell your wife 10 stop talking about that
boy who lives next door, and finally
make up your mind that it makes no
difference whether the tack comes up or
not. You begin on the corper where the
carpet is doubled two or three times and
nailed down with q single nail. You
don't care to save the nail, because you
find it is not good time to practice
economy, but you do feel rather hurt
when both claws break off and the nail
don't move. Then your manhood as
serts itself. You arise and throw the car
pet claw at the dog. You take hold Of
the carpet with both hands, the air is full
of dust and flying tacks, and there is q
fringe OF carpet all around by the
mopbosrd; the baby begins TO howl and
your wife says you ought to be ashamed
of yourself, but the carpet comes up.
Then you lift one side of the stove, and
your wife tries to get the carpet out from
under it, but says she can't because
you are standing on it. You lift again,
and just after your back breaks, the car
pet comes clear. Then comes the beat
ing. After you have hung it wrong side
out on the line and the wind has blown
two quarts OF dust and several broken
tscks into your mouth, you mention
something which you forgot to say in
the house. Then you search for club
and go for the carpet. The first blow
completely hides the sun and all the face
of nature behind q cloud Of dust, and
right IN the middle of that cloud, with
the wind blowing into your face, no mat
ter how you stand, you bang away with
that club until your HANDS are bllstered
and you have lost all chances for your
future salvation. You continue to whip
the carpet, longer or shorter time. &C.
cording to the size of your mad. 1t
don't make any difference TO the carpet,
for its just as dirty when you get done
as when you began. Then you bundle
it up, take it into the house, where you
have more trouble with the stove can't
see how to use the csrpet-stretcher, while
you stand on the carpet and can't find
any place TO stand oil OF it. Then you
get on your knees again and your wife
hands you crooked tscks-tacks with no
heads-tacks with no points--tacks with
the largest end at the point, until a. last
the carpet Is down and your wife says,
with sigh OF relief, she is so glad the
| lob is of of her mind.