The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-08-22
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

SENSE AND NONSENSE.
GENIUS finds its own road, and car.
Eies its own lamp.
A BUTTON is q small event which ID
always coming off.
WHAT kind of ship has two mates
and no Captain? A courtship.
THE sharpest torments are those
caused by trouble which never comes.
THE Rcayume says that in New Or
leans . poor person may look ut q
small piece of ice for ten cents.
THERE are two kinds of things al
which man should never get angry
what man cannot help and what he
can.
THERE are lots of human hens who
cackle SO much about the egg they
mean to lay that they never lay any egg
at all!
"PERFEcrLY mag" is the cultured
Boston girls synonym for "Quite too
awful sweet" The Boston girl doesn't
waste her words.
PARIS shopkeepers tie small bundles
in such . way that q large loop oi
string allows the purchaser to carry the
parcel without touching it.
A YOUNG mother gives her child a
stick of candy, and, to teach it polite
ness, says: "What do children say
when they get candy?' 'More."
A MAN who is long-headed and keeps
his ears open is supposed to be unusual
lv v,,,co Similar nm a1;A;oe ond odvon
tages in mule are not remarkable
NJ O. Rcayuse.
A MAN who had been twice married
to women named Kate, both of whom
made his life miserable, gravely adj
vised his friends against taking dupli-
Hates. Chicago Commercial Advertiser.
Ar Partisan hotel during the Expo
sition: Maddened Guest = sixteen
francs for GAMBLER Courteous Host
mo. sir; one franc for the candle;
fifteen francs for the candlestick, mi
lord"
SQUARE umbrellas are reported a.
the latest things in Paris. That's moth
ing. We have been using square UNI
breilas q long time; at least they are
never rOund-when wanted.-R0nse
Sentinel.
ANTI-TOBACCO crusaders may find q
useful hint in the item which announces
that Californian was cured of tobac-
co-chewing by his horror on finding
the finger of . man pressed in the to-
bacco he was using.
WHEN q young man in Patagonia
wants wife, he rides out and lassoes
one; and in the more civilized United
States of America, when a young man
wants q wife, but does not come to
time, the las-soes him for q breach of
promise.
A GENIUS in Durham, N. H., thinks
he can demonstrate that the area of
five circles is equal to the area of four
squares of the same diameter, and con-
sequently that the area of circle is
equal to four-fifths of the square of its
diameter.
"WHAr is your religion, Mr.. Glib
bere" asked the landlady of her new
boarder. "Meat three times q day."
was the reply that startled the good
woman, and put her in q reverie as to
whether the man was heather or had
misunderstood the question. Csnein-
sati Breakfast Table.
The relationship of man and wo-
man. in rainy weather, is easily discov-
cred. If they are lovers the woman
will have all of the umbrella, and the
man won't care fig how wet he gets.
But if they are married, it is just the
opposite. Marriage makes the differ
ence, that is all.-N. Y. Mail.
some time since q clever Tuscaroran
was arrested for cattle-stealing, and
hauled up before Judge Flack at Elko
for trial. The jury acquitted him with
out leaving the box, and upon his re-
turn here q friend inquired as 10 the
result of his trial. No cause of &C
tion," said the gentleman; 81 merely
killed the OK in self-defense and ate him
for spite, and, of course, was acquit-
ted by the intelligent jury."-Elko
(NeU. Times.
A MAN ought never to get rid of his
childhood. He may put away childish
things and yet retain what is sweet and
beautiful in childhood. There is a SIM
pie faith, an innocence and liberty of
childhood which should be carried up
into and become the bloom of our man
hood. We are timid of the man whose
life brings with it none of the fragranoes
of bOyhOOd, who cannot be q boy again,
whenever burdens of maturer years
may be laid aside.-ReligioMs Ezchasge.
"LOoK into me eyes, me darling,
and tell me you are mine," sang .
smooth-faced STRIPPING beneath the cot
tage window one dewy eve in June.
She looked into his eyes seven years
later, about the time he was to wed
another girl, and vowed to be ever his
unless her damaged affections were
poulticed up with thick swaddling of
greenbacks. How constant is woman!
First in love, last in peace and always
ready for q breach-Of-promise suit
Cincinnati Breakfast Table.
A TYPOGRAPHICAL error in q Hart
ford paper suggests the inquiry wheth-
er some of the grave responsibility
which the public puts on the druggist
for the consequences of their mistakes,
ought not to be transferred to the
shoulders of the c0mpositor, while at
the same time it furnishes strong ar
gument against the use of Latin terms
in medicine. The printer had q medi-
cal formula to set up, in which oo-
CURED the aqua Fonts (spring water),
but the types made it aqua J0rtis, .
change that might have been respon-
sible for some serious consequences.
The manuscript of the average medical
practitioner, by the way, is not such as
to conduce to accuracy when placed in
the hand of the printer.
UncOnsidored Trl1es.
In making up handsome costumes,
ladies buy q cheap silk for the skirt
rn,snno,. as tho trim m inne ,,aod ,nno,, tho