West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-05-04
EVERY DAY SPICERIES.

A NEAT foot cows foot IYorces.
ter Press
MIrER than the sword-Cheese.-
COUrjCr-,ioUTR0L.
A rooL and his fathers money are
soon partcd.-Pic
A ROLLING mill-A fight i'm the gut
ter Utica IicrdH.
STILL waters run for fifteen cents n
GLASS; Worcester Press.
No one seems to banker for the tic
dolourcux of our daddies.- Rochester
Dcmocrdi
THE time to buy new hat--When
the band begins TO play Cincinnati Sat
wtidy Night.
The wise man laugheth at Joke, but
the fool goeth of on his ear about it,
Rome Sentinel.
NEVER strike n man when he il down
unless you can't lick him any other
way.-Phiiadciphia Chronicle.
EVERY living thing was put into this
world for some good even the crow was
not made without caws.-COm. Bulletin.
JENNIE JUST married Mr. Russ re-
Gently. She was Just before she was
Jennie Russ Cincinnati Saturday Night.
A YOUNG lady rebukingly asks us.
Which is worse, To lace tight or TO get
tghtT We give itup-we never laced.
-- EhnHd Gdrctte.
LADIES must not read this: ~ pvaI
puU uMop od!sdu s!Ql uInl HIN uMol
s!Vl ~ uUmoM GIoAo 1UVl loq ol LUUop I9A
-l!s Mou loS oA.oM.-Cdmken Post.
THE Brand of Cain was on his brow;
the brand of cane somewhere else. You
couldn't tell IL from the brand of COW.
hide, however.-Ci Cincinnati Breakfast
Tdbie.
AN exchange says that the kingdom
of heaven has door 80 low that all
must stoop TO go in. We suppose that's
the reason why "short" man can get
ia SO much more easily than n rich one.
- Worcester Press.
WHEN Jonah interviewed the whale
Aud haunted his.nternals
As crst II is recorded la
Tho trutbfulcst Of Journals,
What monarch did he symbOlize7
A far-fctchcd Joke you'Il style it)
II seems 10 us lac might have been
sort Of pdUnch'S ptiOf. - fonkerS GdS,ns.
THE public seldom desires to pry into
mans domestic affairs, but after n
regular patron Of street car line has
eaten his onions three times day for
about six months, men will begin to in
qure if his potato crop failed.-Detroh
FIRE. Press
RELIGIOUS papers are discussing the
question, How shall we interest the
young at church p Offer tickets, good
for admission TO the first circus of the
season, TO such boys ~ are most pune
Uual and regular in attendance WOrceS-
Ter Pres.
a STUMP speaker was eulogiziDg a GER
tain general who was n candidate of his
party for an important office. con the
battlefield" j." he said e" he was ever found
where the bullets were the thickest." IL
was afteward learned that on four occa-
siOns the officer had crept into the am
munitiOn wagon.
PuNs are plenty just now White
hdH Times. Yes, but we haven't noticed
that they are xccl.lent.---FUiton Times
They are altogether too prevalent, and
not at all opu-lent in wit The forego-
ing for instance NorristoDn Herald
They are not even sufficiently juicy TO be
succu-lcnt.--Nc York Mail
HEAR the beil-guneh win It's bells
o, what a slew of revenue their melody foreteIlsi
How they jirge, jingle, jingle In the garng air Of
noon,
" bile the breakers, twain and single,
By the ingc. mingie mingle a. he stifs them with
spoon,
Win spoon, spoon, spoon, spoon,
Spoon spoon, spoon, spoon,
with the 0rcum bobuation Of the spoon.
n 4. p IN he Stdphtc.
a DAEBURY boy OF pugnacious turn
was taken to task by his mother for
striking a companion. She told him he
must ask the forgiveness Of the wronged
ono. lie went up 10 him, having his
back TO his mother and whispered
through his clcnched teeth "Pye got
10 ask you 20 forgive me for hitting you,
and you'd better speak right up at once
that you do, or ri give you something
TO remember" The victim spoke up
DqnbUry Ncrs.