Smyrna times., 1878-02-20
Before and After Marriage.
BY MRS. HENRY WARD BEECHER.

flpens INTO atection-all the pOllteness
and respect he can command will be man.
ifested when in her presence. The best
| traits of bis character are called out to en-
tertain and homo? her; to draw closer the
bond of union he desires to see established
Both, if the interest is mutual-porhaps
with no intention or desire of making a
false impresson-are in that exalted state
of mind which shows them to the greatest
advantage. Particularly is this true as re-
CARDS the lover TO crafty the slightest
wish of his chosen no effort is felt to be
wearisome-nO labor a burden. All self.
denial for his lady-love is accounted as
joy and honor. His very life seems too
small an Offering.
But how is it when the prize is secured,
and the twain are made one? Are those
graceful courtcsies, sweet amenities kind
and watchful attentions, through which
the coveted prize was led to an exalted
estimate of the lovers character to be
continued by the husband growing brighter
and holier as the years roll on? Will the
respectful attention and honor which a
true gentleman yields to ,r0nah be more
scrupulously accorded, be held more sacred,
when bestowed on the p:,r! Then will
sweet peace wreathe her chain round them
forever and the love which budded in
youth, and grew deeper and broader with
the after years, will he matured and per.
fected in old age holding them as one till
separated by death, they meet again in
that Letter world whereof Love is the
light.
But if marriage brings indifference, or a
feeling of ownership which is supposed to
eXonerate a husband from all attention to
his wfe-to release him from the com.
monest civilities-which he dare not refuse
to other women, then there is little hope
of true happiness in that household The
first year Of married life is, doubtless in
some respects, the most critical. No young
people ever become fully acquainted with
each other during the period Of courtshp;
or engagement. There is glamour over
them that hides any dsagreeable or in.
harmonious popularity. and every one has
some, that will not show well in a strong
light. We daily see young people accept
the mutual duties Of the married state pro.
ioundly ignorant of the life upon which
they have SO thoughtlessly entered The
husband may understand what is right or
honorable among men, but without the
first idea, especially if he has not been
brought up with sisters, of what respect
and attention wife has a right to expect,
and he is bound to give as an honorable
gentleman.
We claim for wives a degree Of respect
and attention beyond what a true gentle.
man gives any other lady, but we also
claim that wives shall be governed by tho
| same rule. Both should be aiFable courte.
Gus and kind to all with whom they as.
sociate, but for each other there should be
deeper respect and Difference than is
ever seen in their intercourse with others,
however worthy; yet in far too many cases
politencss and good breeding are folded
away with the wedding inery. But till the
children that are growing up around us are
taught the sacredness Of the obligations
those assume whose hands are Joined in
wedlock, the horribly disgusting records Of
cruelty and crime that fill our daily papers
will continue, and happy homes be "like
angels visits, few and far between"
Aside from the present misery and strife,
what will be the condition of society, or OF
our country, when the children of these
unhappy marriages come to the front and
take their places as rulers Of our country
and fashioners of society? If the mother
is vain, foolish, irritable and solfwilled, in
nowise seeking to make home happy
never yielding to her husbands judgment
or caring for his pleasure; or if she seeks
to live peaceably and make her family happy
but every effort is met by coldness, indiffer-
ence or sneers from her husband, will not
the fruits Of such examples be shown in
the future character and lives Of their
children?
There can be no happy marriages or
happy homes if love, pure and sanctiied, is
not the foundation. So few young people
know what love is little romance, a
good deal of pride or ambition, hovers
about them, and they call it loce. "Of all
the sad things in this world the saddest is
the leaf that tells what love meant to be,
and the turning Of the leaf to tell what love
has been. One all blossoms, the othor
ashes; one all smiles and gladness, the
other all tears and sadness. Nothing is SO
beautiful as the temple that love builds
nothing is so miserable as the service oI
that temple if God be not in it,
"lf there be anything that young we'd
ded love should have as its first vision, il
should be vision of ladder between the
earth and heaven, and the angels Of God
ascending and descending, and God over
all blessing it. Then there is hope. Begin
4 your household life, begin your welded
life, with firm hold upon God and purity
and heaven, and there is hope for you
otherwise, sad is your fate ~
. e-.-