Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1878-04-11
HUMOR OF THE HOUR.

LoaoeN Courier
Uneasy liesthe head that wears frown.-
| OIL City Derrick
Sweet are the uses of advertisements
| Wheeling Leader
| The hole thing in nutshell-The worm
--Keokuk Constitution.
Can paste diamond be a fraud of the first
water?-N. Y. Herald.
| The value OF the Bland dollar lies in its
face-1renton State Gazette.
1t seems to Turkey like the day after
Thanksgiving. .-Trenton Gazette.
The globe turns. 1t has turned Democrat
in Boston, Philadelphia Bulletin.
The only proper way to eat ice cream is
spoon fashion, Whitehall Times.
Canadian war-cry-''To arms There is
going to be peace. "-Butalo Eepress
A good place for chiropodist the
Cornish Commercial! Advertiser.
Now you may begin to hear the crow
squawk and see the little crocus-N. Y.
Herald.
| 1t is becoming fashionable to spray the
hair with cologne. Let US spray.-N. Y.
Herald
Jonah was the first victim OF highwaymen.
He was whale-laid on the shore. e.-Hackensack
Republican.
A Bridgeport man arrested for striking his
wife Mary, admitted that Mary had a little
lam-Standard.
Mules are only $35 each in Alabama. Get
| one; it is not good for man to be alone
Worcester Press.
Gentlemen's vests are made this season with
handles on to pull them down, you know
Worcester Press.
One good mimic, who fells we'll, can break
up an entire community provided with tele-
phones.-N: Y. Telegram.
The Burlington Haokeye regrets that the
dentists of this country are so much addicted
to the little game of draw.
A Tennessee paper has poem entitled
sSmile Whenever You Cam" Tennessee edi-
tors always do.-Boston Globe.
The Arkansas Hot Springs were burned.
We've been afraid they were getting that
water too PHILADELPHIA Bulletin.
''Felt slippers" sign on fremont Row,
makes bad little boys tremble as they pass,
they've felt em so often.-Boston Advertiser.
Dialogue between two Bohemians: ''Would,
would that had fifty thousand year.
know what I'd Co." ''What?" "Nothing."
A Treasury clerk fell off a ladder and broke
his leg the other day. These are dangerous
times for officials in high places.-N. Y. Conn.,
mercsdl tu
. A farmer out toward the Ridge, who bought
kicking cow three weeks ago, already talks
of Withdrawing from the church.-Roane
Sentinel
An Upper Michigan beverage is called
'sSkitteWaubee" 1t makes a man act as it
hehad swallowed unique horn Cincinnati
Commercial.
Inasmuch as all the editors in the State
have Joined the Murphy movement, we don't
see any need Of a press convention this year.
st. Louis Journal.
A resentful man said of tailor, whom he
didn't like, that there was never tit in his
shop unless a customer fell in 0ne.-CSncln-
nati Saturday NsgAt.sl ...
The New York Erpress is becoming per-
sonal. It. says that to operate canals by steam
would require donkeys enough to stock two
or three Legislatures.
The Paragraphers Association talk OF max
ing an excursion somewhere the coming sea-
son. We suggest the Bay of Fun-dy.-CSn-
cinnati Saturday Night.
When Prof. Peters discovered the one hun
dred and sixty-seventh asteroid, he named it
"Urda," believing that any Urda name would
smell sweet.-Neao Orleans Picayune.
If England does 60 to war with Russia,
and lot of The his got snarled up with those
Russian names good heavens! what VOL
cano for the poor night editors. -Haa0|eye.
A Bloomipgdale man went home from
lecture the other evening and told his wife
that 1T is better to have loved boss than
never to have loved at all. IN. Y. Herald.
In the epring the young mans fancy
Lightly turns TO thought of-What?
nd fle ArHt who dareS to answer
viii be shOoted on the spot
..a.. ~ ! . q, = Worcester Press.
A horse furiously attacked his 'tmate' in
Detroit stable; says the Detroit Free Press.
This custom of feeding horses on ''mate'' is
reprehensible itnakes them savage. e.--Jersey
CITY Journal. %. ~
The OIL Csty Derrick has its opinion of
persons who use Latin. There is the pharse
lad in1initun. |" No nan who spells item
with ''u," il thinks, should set himself up
as . Latin scholar.
'sWhat's your occupation, bub?" asked
visitor at the capitol of bright boy whom
he met in the corridor. The boy happened
to be page in the House. II am running
for Congress, sir, he replied.
Troy has paid out about $500, to feed
her paupers during the last ten years, and she
now INQUIRIES il. they are any better off than
when she began.-FTee Press. Yes; better
off and more of Philadelphia Bulletin.
s.Well, l swan, Billy, said an old farmer
to an undetsized nephew who was visiting
him, ''whea you take off that ere plug hat
and spit two or three times there amt much
left Of yon, is tn Csncsnnats Bre0@t0s'
Table.