The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1878-05-11
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

Dying in poverty" says modern moralist,
sis nothing-it is living in poverty that comes
hard on fellow"
The divorce market is still easy in Indiana. a
paper in that state heads its list Of marriages
Limited Partnerships"
The tide Of travel TO the Black Hills has been
greatly increased by the sudden flight OF the lei
lows who were emboldened TO declare that "aii
Hamilton is forty-fve.
The proud claim Of the Coney Island Herald:
We can safely say that our paper has now the
largest circulation of any Coney Island ncwspa-
per n the world"
Ten million hair-pins are manufactured in this
country annually: yet it Still hair-pins that a
mans wife is able to find long stray hair on ms
coat-sceye, alas, too often.-Chi Times.
Since the gas explosion in the Office of the De-
troit Free Press the humorous papers elsewhere
have been tremblingly awaiting a similar blow
up.
'eWhat," inquiries the Philadelphia Press, "be-
comes of all the promising children" HIN, We
know what's becoming Of one of them.-Brtao
kIprtss.
Il is announced that oleomargarinc, made from
beef fat, is more wholesome than real butter. 1t
may be that ham is also more wholesome, but it
is not butter.
The large number of people who own the snuff.
box that once belonged to Thomas Jefferson
now learn with sorrow that Thomas never car
RED a snufi.box.-N. o. Picdyune
Why wouldn't Oleomargarinc do for girls
name? Cincinnati Enquirer. If we had little
girl and hadn't any but her, We would call her
that.-RicitD,0ld Ind>pGdcni
Probably on the principle that the end sancti.
hes the means, a lady at a church fair in San
Francisco consents to pcrsonate the Greek Slave
lqa tahlean.
There is 10 extravaganza Of hyperoole in the
Homeric legend of Ajax defying the lightning,
but the Western College professor ovcrdid the
thing immensely when, in lecture to his class,
he pictured Ajax as 'defyinS the lightning rod
AGENT
IN certain parts of New England it is customa-
~ 20 furnish pies for guests at funerals. This Is
emulation Of the ancents who always had a fu-
neral pyre too Y0aktrS Gdatc
The Richmond Dispatch called the Lexington
Ga:ette "hypercritical," whereupon the Ga=ctte
man wants to fight the Dispatch man, and cx-
claims Indignantly, "We'll show him we are no
hypercrit"
Bayard Taylor will have IAN Impossible
Story" in the next Scribncrs. Perhaps it will be
the story of defaulcr who was not pillars Of
the church and the possessor Of an exalted moral
hQractey,-Eh.
Brutal remark by the Louisville CoU1cr.JoD-
aa, as to a truly great man:
winnie Ream is TO make statue Of Senator
David Davis. II will be unique work Of art 1t
is understood that but one panel Of the fence lie
sits astraddlc of will be represented"
in Milwaukee, to prevent the dummy engines
for street cars frightening the horses they place
a stuffed mule in front of each dummy In Chi
cago n policeman posted on low seat in front Of
the dummy answered the purpose as well, but
tie stuffed mule is probably less expensive
Georgia teacher adyertiscs the Marion High
School at Buena Vista, and adds "The sub
scriber take pleasure in announcngto the public
that there is no longer any necessity Of sending
young men TO colleges 10 have their morals and
manners corruptcd-cducatc Incm at or near
home"
Christian Mciar WAS generally called Devil
nciar in Ripley county, Ohio, because he was
regarded as the wickedest man in shat part OF
the state. His evil deeds were many, and at last
lie was suspected Of fastening the death of his
sick wife by choking her. A vigilance commit
toe ordered lin to quit the county, but he would
not 90. They tarrcd and fcathcred him, but stil
be refused to give up his home. Then they
hanged him