The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1878-08-01
Uartetp.


The only people who really enjoy bad health
are the doctors.
What Is really needed is a hve.cent cigar that
will consume It's own smoke.
Some Of the Philadelphia shoemakers have
struck. The strike is likely to last.
10, the poor dog, whose untutored mind snias
not the killer sneaking up behind
Astreet organ pike Touring mill, grlnds wheat.
ly, and by the barrel as we'll.
A bad marriage is like an electric machine; It
makes you dance, but you can't let go.
The grave robbing in the west must be stopped.
There are live men enough to hold the offices.
The difference between hungry man and a
glutton is that the hungry man longs to eat and
the glutton eats too long.
Detroit poet mpurns because there is no word
TO rhyme with jerks. Anew song has been stran-
| gled in the bud.
Whats the man yelling at?" asked an Illinois
farmer of his boy, why" chuckled the boy,
mes yelling at the top OF his voice"
Aman having fallen down in fit in a tallor's
shop, an envious rival said, That's the only ft
w. "NStA ~ sAi"t OelublAohluCuL
Wanted-Delinquent subscribers to settle up,
P. SIN answering this advertisement please
state in what paper you saw 1t In.
1--WE never saw man who thought It was sin
TO steal an umbrella" says an exchange. Then
you never saw man whose umbrella had Just
been stolen
The Peekskill poundmaster pays 60 head for
stray dogs. tramp with eleven dogs in tow is
cheerful sight for the policical economishment
The compositOr who set up hymeneal hyenal
shddened the hearts Of the newly married pair
when they saw the report of therwedding in next
days paper
Did you ever try to calculate how much longer
1t takes to brush the flies Off your sandpapered
head than it did to brush your hair when you had
it?
man who has been fined several times in sue.
cession for getting drunk, cooly proposed to the
magistrate that he should take him by the year at
a reduced rate.
Anexchange prints Remedy for Hard Times"
1t is simply to go to work and save your money
1t is marvel that this was not thought of several
years ago.
Oswegos old woman has reached the age Of 1902
without having made bed. quilt with 10000
piecesin 1t. Can woman who has so neglected
her plain duty squeeze into heaven?
"Will the boy who threw that pepper on the
stove please come up here and get the present Of
a new book ?" said Sunday-school Superintend.
ent in Iowa. but the boy never moved. He was
a far'seeing boy.
On the Fourtb O nofiva Annarioon ,yes ,,nbroid
ing naturalized German for celebrating the day
so enthusiastically. The German said, "You, sir
are an American from necessity; am one from
choice And besides, sir, when you came into the
country you hadn't stitch of clothing to your
back while was comfortably clad" The Amer
lean has been thinking about it ever since.
An Irish bricklayer was one day brought to the
Edinburg lntrmaTy severely injured by O fall
from housetop. The medical man in attend
ance asked the sufferer at what time the accident
had occurred 1.-TWO o'clock; yer honor" was the
reply, On being asked how he came to fix the
hour so accurately, he answered because saw
the people at dinner through window as l wa!
coming down."
A good story istold by the Marquette Michigan
Mining JOaraal Of former resident of Negaunee
now living in Colorado He was an explorer o
some note, and was one day digging at the foot o.
a mountain in Butler county when a TeutoniC
gentleman came along and inquired: My goot
frient, vat you been do here?" "Oh, I'm only
scratching around to see what can find" "Well
mine friend, don't know pretty much by dis OK
blorin' pissness; auver dond you tell me we're
gould Wind me gold mine right away, quiCkT
Oh, you just find a big pine tree and go to dig
ging in its shadow, and you will find what yol
want" "Dank you, mine frient," and the Ger
man went little way up the mountain, found {
shadow of a big pine tree and went to digging
In short time he found what is now the cele
brated Melvina mine, and now our Negauneeite il
suing for an interest in the valuable property, or
the ground that he gave the information which
led to its discovery.