Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1878-07-06

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>rEAwREKEr festivals haEe taxes fh-
vlAce e the xi9seE rrsTs4ss In tbe
casfches. A stra~a~rFy, breshren, isn I
a. bag nor - slippery as al sysser. bsi IL
eo-,, jas; As much al a ehsrch festival.
ani j. iasi A. Ioaely and A. hard to find
II short eske. rs the oyster Vas in the
wiiis OF his native soup.
The dispatches assure IL 1.-The presi-
deni is lot afraid or disquieted." Such
assurances are needless. The president
has shown all along that he is n0; a timid
man. His past lie has shown that he is
not deficient in courage. Nobody ex.
poets him to he afraid. We don't want
him to gc, frightened. We want him to
get mad. Mad. Mad as thunder.
THE Missouri press association is now
in session at Springfield, Missouri. We
wanted to go, awfully, but We couldn't.
The onion beds need wedding, the grass
in the front yard hasn't been cut yet,
the verbena beds has to be spaded up,
the baby is teething, and the tramp to
whom was given our only summer
clothes is providing around Indiana hen
roosts in them. Indeed, brethren, we
can't get away.
THE death of Morrissey leaves Joe Co
burn the only eminent pugilist in Ameri-
ca. And he is not engaged in profession
al duties at present. Oh, no, he has re-
lNmed, and is an honest, hard working
nan, plodding steadily along at his trade
of bricklaying, at Auburn, New York.
The first day he was at work, by the way,
somebody came along and built state
prison around him, and he hasn't been
able to find tho door Of it yot.
JOIN BURDErTE has q new dog and in
aspirit of malicious daring has named
him Mister" And everytime he waves
his hand at the canine and shouts in saw
age tones, "Go home, Mister, or I'll land
brick ut vel" every man on the street
rolls up his sleeves and waltzss up to the
auditor and wants ~ know "whO he's n
talkin' to, and what he meant by itl"
And the result is the boy is on fighting
terms with half the men in Burlington.
A CHICAGO woman drank whisky until
she was raving drunk. Her affectionate
son gave her chlorofoym to keep her
from haruing herself, and she became so
quiet as to alarm him. The family ply
sician was called in, aud pronounced her
as dead as a dOor-nail. A wake was Or
gained, and the hour for burial was APP
preaching, when the woman opened her
eyes and mouth, and asked what all the
fuss was about. The funeral was post.
poned.
WHAT is the world coming to, and
howe Last week barrel Of flour blew
up in a Minnesota mill, grindstone
burst in AL Ohio mandatory, and a load
of coel exploded in an English ship.
First thing VIC know some careless hOd
carrier will shoot himself all to pieces
with sand shifter. A man can't eat a
flap jack in safety, now, unless he knows
it isn't loaded. These are troublous
times and if it wasn't that the family
!. would blow US up If we stopped it, we
Ilwouldn't have Scribner's Magazine in the
"aousc another minute.
We have heard enough Of this swash
about the excellence of pedestrian exer-
else and the great amount Of good Bertha
Won Hillcrn and O'Leary are doing by
melting people to walk. Pe3estrianism
In county where it rains nine days q
week can never become popular and gen.
eral; and besides, what 10 wanted in this
country 10 not race Of men who can
walk 500 miles in also hcurs, % mach
- race ef men uifh Eve arms apiece.
aad roo Of hooks mp end down the
bach. 60 they esa carry their wives sbsp-
psng hs0e vitkost psyi-g for ose ssa.
and taking sp TIE wksss street. car
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