Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-08-05
LETTER FROM NEW YORK.
Special Correspondence.
New YORK, July 20, 1S7

1HCiO 10 q VI yiuS hOOO IL ouio 0icJ |
for Burglars Blue Ribbon Total Alb
stinence Society,"" by which the condi-
ton of this class might be ameliorated,
and the dangers of their arduous calling
in some degree lessened. No one can
fail to sympathize with the sorrows of
this overworked profession, the members
of which gain their daily bread through
the laborious use of pistol and Jimmy"
frequently exposed to the damp night
air, the teeth of the vicious watch dog,
the bullet of the reckless and quarrel
some householder, and the oficious
Notwithstanding screech of the sudden
ly awaking female. To these perils, al
SO, the unobservant and purely theoreti-
cal writer on the subject might, perhaps,
add another springing from the exist
ence of the police force. Bat this would
be such an error as could only arise
from fundamental misapprehension of
the nature of the force, at least in this
city. The New York policeman is en-
tirely harmless and inoffensive. except
toward women and children. He fully
recognizes that the burglar is man
and brother, born .free and equal
in strict accordance with the provisions
of the Constitution. He, therefore,
feels it his duty to exercise toward the
latter the largest spirit of liberation,
and makes it point never to interfere
with him, if possible. Nothing short of
burglars running violently into a po-
liceman, or shooting at him will attract
the latter's attention. Then, indeed,
forbearance ceases to be virtue, and
the blue-coat, unless unusually long-suf-
fering, sometimes shoots back, generally
taking care, however, to lodge his bull
let in the person of some third party by
way of avoiding accidents.
1t may thus be seen that my enumera-
ton of the ordinary risks of the cracks
mans vocation was tolerably complete,
but unfortunately, a new and extraordi-
nary one has arisen, which seems to de-
mand the immediate remuneration of the
flowing bowl by the fraternity. And
this was the way of it.
! When those lucky folks with money
90 out of town for the summer, they
lock up their houses and leave them as
dainty tit-bits for the burglars, who,
deeply appreciative of the implied invi-
tation, usually drop in occasionally dur
ing the summer, and gratefully remove
such articles as they chance to need or
fancy. Thus it was with Mr.. Sweezy,
whose family have been for the past
month or so cooling themselves by the
sad sea waves, and who during this Pc
Rod has been in the habit of making
hebdomadal visits to his deserted city
mansion for the purpose, 1 presume, Of
seeing how rapidly his valuables disap.
peared. On his last tour of inspection
Tuesday morning, Mr.. Sweezy found
the basement door off its hinges, and
mounting to his own apartment dis
covered two men sprawled upon his owl
bed, both with their boots on and bott
snoring disgracefully. Scattered upoI
the floor was very miscellaneous litter
comprising among other things, fiv
large, empty but still odorous cham
payne bottles. Mr.. Sweezy took in tn
situation at glance, and became in
stantly indignant at the fragrant breacl
both of hospitality and good manners o
which his visitors had been guilty
Leaving friend to watch the latter, h
at once sailed forth, and meeting tw
policemen, succeeded in convincing ther
that they would be justified in appre
hending burglars who had so far forgot
ten themselves as to get hopelessly drum
e and 90 to bed with their boots on. Th
latter were. therefore, gently awakened
: and, on recovering partial consciousness
] requested the officers, in accents thicl
: to "open anozzer bottle" This deman
: was, however, not complied with; bu
on the contrary, the bibulous burglar
themselves were shaken up like a gi
,. cocktail and marched off to the static
house, whence they will emigrate to Sin
Sing via the County Court room.
e This is why I say there is need for
a temperance crusade among the burglars
= and Mr.. John B. Cough is hereby r.
e spectfully invited to prepare a lectul
It especially suited to their needs.
d A scheme, which if not entirely pra
j ticable is at least seasonable and plea
l. ant one to discuss this warm weather,
L Prof. Schroeder's proposed balloon tr
/ to Europe, feat which if its protector
$ plans are successful, will be attemptt
Is within a few weeks. Ever since Il
/ Graphic newspapers memorable ballot
u fzzle, projects of this kind have BET
IS received by the public with plying al
L incredulous contempt, and Schroeder
T. forms no exception to the rule. Al
y yet this experienced @ronaut feels
e. certain of the success of his present u
e dertaking as though no failures had pr
coded it. He claims to have discover
as the result of wears of study and ohsf