The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1878-06-14
Engaged People.
New York Sun.

If "a girl is engaged she should inva-
riably conduct herself with strict re-
gard to the feelings and prejudiccs of
her lover. Even when he is not pres
ent, she should so act that if he was
there, he would applaud her bearing,
and take pride in being the possessOr
of the affections of one who conducts
herself with so much grace and .digni-
ty She has his reputation as well as
her own to sustain, and the conscious
ness of this fact should remain with
her always.
These thoughts are suggested by the
following letter from correspondent
whose sweetheart did not behave her.
self properly during the absence of her
lover, wherefore he has been made
very miserable by her lapse from the
rules which should govern the con-
duct of engaged girls:
"Sir: Having explicit confidence
in your judgment, | would respectful
ly solicit your advice on the follow
ing:
"AbOut a year a5o I met and fell i'll
fully reciprOcated, and left me no
doubt of its sincerity. Five months
since l removed from the city to q dis
tant State. Her letters were replete
with earnest protestatiOns Ofan ardent
attachment for me. ] replied in the
same spirit. We had no diSagreements
during this time. On my return ] inn
mediately sought her out, and we were
happy once more in each others sOci~
ETY.. a few days since / received
note from her, in which she stated
that she mad deceived me, and for me
to give her up as unworthy of my
love. Her letters expressed the ut
most sorrow. / called on her that even-
ing, and learned that she had permit
ted the attentions of a gentleman
boarding in the same house, who was
violently smitten, and who is wealthy
and fascinating in the extreme. She
says that at no time did she forget me,
but while in his presence seemed to
lose will power. She seems heart
broken over the deception, and pro-
fesses a stronger and more intense love
than ever before, and cites as proof of
this that were it not so great | would
never have been aware of the facts. 1t
would not permit her to deceive me
longer.
II am undecided as to the proper
course to pursue. L am unwilling to
give her up. But should not, l am
afraid that my happiness would be
continually marred by lack of confi>
dence. May not the experience prove
so valuable a lesson as to prevent re-
cu.rence? Her disposition, manners
and appearance are all that L could ask
for in woman. Now, do you think
her action will warrant me in asking
to be released from any engagement?
l cannot come to any definite cOnclu-
sion. You can, no doubt, present the
case to me in such light as to cor
rectly influence me in my decision.
Respectfully yours,
DISAPPOINTMENT."
This is difficult and delicate case,
and we hesitate about declaring a
Judgment in regard to it. The young
lady acted badly, and exhibited de-
gIee of weakness which is hardly par
douable. Still, her repentance seems
to be deep and genuine. Yet, if she
Yields her ear to the prOtestations of
love made by fascinating man, dur
ing the period of her betrothal, when
her whole heart ought to belong to her
lover, she may do the same thing af-
ter she becomes wife. Perhaps,
however, our correspondent is right in
thinking that her folly on this Occa-
sion was something entirely eXcep-
tional, and that she will learn lesson
from it which will prevent her ever
again committing the improperly of
listening to the story of love from one
man when she has sOlemnly given her
heart to another. If she has of her
own motion told him of her wrong
doing, driven thereto by a quick con-
science, it would seem that she is a
pretty good girl, after all.
Let our friend continue to pursue
his courtship, but if this fascinating
bOarder again appears on the scene,
he will be wise if he requests the
young lady TO return him his letters
and her engagement ring, A lover
has very good reason to be suspiOlOus
of a sweetheart who easily forgets her
duty to him; though he may, with
good reason, prize one who tells him
the truth squarely about her misdo-
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