The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1878-01-03
CLISHMACLAVER.
The surgeons beg to take the leg
Of Ghazi 0sman Pasha,
But Osman kicks against the pricks
And says, SAYS Osman: 1" PishaW.il

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fall, the creeks and branches went
up. Skunks are still scent a
piece. Whisky is getting weaker
and it is thought the market is wa
tered, while sugar is still on the
stir. Babies are squally, the mar
ket being over stuffed. Turkeys
are completely chawed up. Patent
medicines are active and approach
ing bottom. Interest rules high
and low alike. Wheat is ground
down terribly, and though this re-
mark is a little severe, not more
than the half of it is tolled. Mules
are unreliable and no matter what
the price is, there is a noticeable
effort among all parties to kick.
Chickens are coming down-these
dark nights. Ali speculations are
risks, but buzz saws seem to be the
most dangerous TO deal with. Sau
sages exhibit a logged frmness,
but people are continually looking
for a cathairstrophe. Cows are be-
ginning to show up all their fine
points. Butter is strong and the
prospect looks narrowing. Good
resolutions are beginning to go for
nothing. Marriage-bond-h holders
are sickening and hold very cheap.
Drummers are dealing mostly in
cheek. Conscience became a little
stiff week ago but is now common
to tame, the devil being the princi-
pal buyer. Tennessee legislators
are weak with still downward ten
dency.
Gov. Duval of Florida ran away
from his father when a boy and
came back years afterwards stall
wart and famous. 1t reminds us of
case right here at home that few
are acquainted with. A young man
whom we all knew as promising,
steady boy, took it into his head
several years ago to try Texas. His
father knew he had all the elements
in him to make himself both rich
and famous, and needed no proph-
ecy to tell what the future had for
him. Years rolled on and a letter
came announcing that the boy was
returning a man to be the staff and
comfort of his parents declining
years, and the old man knew then
that his labors were over and that
he could lean on the strong arm of
his famous boy and help him enjoy
the worlds plaudits. at last he
came-all in rags and tatters, with
wife with all her front teeth
knocked out by her leige with
stove-leg, and nine toe headed brats, !
all nearly starved. Finis.
Twas the DAY before Christmas and tho boys
were in train
To revel, carouse, and had racked their great
braiu
To invent some excuse that appeared not
insane
Why fellow on Christmas should never
The turkeys at home by scores had been slain
And housewives and cooks were in terrible
strain,
And pleasures were brewing, more than all
When the dod-blasted elements set in for to
Rim.
The clouds lOOsed their aOOd-gates again and
again,
The streets rushed in torrents like the storm
ravaged main
And the boys though disguised refrained to
complain
And that's the sort of wheelbarrow Christ
mas eve was in Pulaski.
1t depends upon who tells joke
whether it is good or not-and
whether it is good or not, let a con
gresham or governor or general
tell it and the average loafer will
show his idiocy by immoderate
laughing. For instance:
An ex-governor passes along the
street and is saluted on all hands
by the grinning lunatics, and di-
rectly he stops before two or three
and asks:
"Why is osman Pasha like a
book?'
They all giggle and give it up,
and the e. g. says:
Because he's bound in Russia"
"Wha, wha, whal He, he, he! Ho,
no, no! Whe, whe, whel Ha, ha, ha.
Hi, hi, hi! Yah, yah, yah! Whoop!i
Ughr'
And they all hold their sides aud
not a ninny of them sees the point,
while the e.-g. struts on with his
thumb in his arm-pit.
1t was reported that Osman Pa
sha committed suicide rather than
suffer amputation, such being part
of the Mohammedan faith. This
settles the point as to his American
origin. Where Is the man in this
land of stalwart ideas and bullying
morality that had not rather hop
into glory on one leg than wait and
risk his chances of being beaten for
constable by niger?
1t is a wonder of the day-and yet fact DER
That heavy banks are washed away by too
much "falling due.' Chicago Journal.
That's so. But there's another cAuse-it
smells to heaven rank
It's the stealing of the officers Of your ''frm"
Chicago bank.
Why not arm our troops with the
fint-lock muskets of the daddies?-
Ind. AesOs, ante-silver. just as well
have no locks at all, for the good
they do. Something cheap is the
thing, so the government won't lose
much when they lay aside their guns
and the traps that doth so nightly
impede them and run with patience
the race that is set before them by
the noble red man.
Some of the Kansas farmers haul
wheat one hundred miles to grist
Elk. What fools not to
patronize home mills; and besides,
that paper surely thought its read
ers would suppose they hauled it .
one hundred miles to saw mills.
Many of the miseries of life may
be averted by buying a "dirty shirt
of these black spread I
eagle cravats that fit up over a fel
low's bosom like a buggy lap-cur-
ain. No more trouble with shirts {
and washerwomen.
Rev. Mr.. Cook, of L. l., recently :
ost 81 laying hens, which is a Sc
-ious blow to the laity.-Bosfon :
Post. Is he regular clergyman or 7
only an egg. sorter?-PhR. Bal. 1t :
s a more serious blow to the Cook
,r-x-