The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1878-01-26
Ruined Homes.

him he would ask, "Are you married
If the answer was in the affirmative, hi
comment was "Lucky dogl" If he re
eeived a negative reply, he calculated
"Happy dogm 1t is needless to say tha
the old cynic was himself married man
An old English poet has compared matri
mony to lighted lantern The insect
outside butt their heads against the pan
to get in, while those inside butt thei
heads to get out again. How much cyni
cism there is in the old poets figure, w
cannot undertake to say 1t is certain
that unleSss things speedily mend, ther
will be a general and justifable belle
among young people in the infelicity o
the marriage state. Now and then, as i
by flash of lightning, the public is showI
the frightful skeleton which some unhapp,
couple have kept in their closet. Or
lawsuit takes the roof off a mans house
and reveals a state of things inside which
the shuddering observer likens to tn,
place of the damned Scarcely a da-
passes in which it is not the duty of the
newspaper chronicle to record some event
by which a jarring couple advertise their
misery to the world.
1t is dreadful ending to drama which
opened with so much happy promise
There was lovely young bride, for all
young brides are lovely, crowned with all
the delicate flowers which were emblem.
Of her sweetness and purity. She gave
her trembling hand to the proud and hap
py bridegroom. Long, perhaps, had he
pressed his ardent suit. And now he wa.
like young king just come to his major
ity. She was trusting, and he was so sin
cerely devoted that he knew that no wind
of heaven should visit her cheek too
roughly while he lived. What a charm.
ing picture they made as they stood at the
altar-a rare combination of beauty and
strength-joyfully entering upon the no
liest covenant which humanity makes
with humanity. How many good wishes
follow them, what ripples of delight spread
outward from the joyous event that make.
them one. Wherever they go they carry
their happiness with them, so impossible
Of concealment that even the most indif-
ferent stranger takes share in their ben
ediction. Manufactured old people look
on with an unconscious relaxation of Wis
age. The machine-like servants, railway
people, and hotel clerks met on the we'd
ding journey surrender a trihe of their
official coldness, and look kindly on the
gay, innocent pair. Not only is earth to
these new beginners a rosy place to live
in, but each has found the perfect CON-
panion for life.
In the nature of things, this cannot al
ways be. No more is it possible that one
should always bear the weight of grief
which bows one at the side of death bed.
The load of sorrow wears away before we
are satisfied that we ought ever to be happy
again. And the refined joy of the bridal
time is tempered by the cares and respon-
sibilities of married life. But when il
happens, as it often does, that the drama
that began with music, flowers, smiles and
sunshine, speedily ends in darkness and
misery, the mournful conclusion is that
there has been a terrible mistake. 1t is
better, perhaps, that the world should
never know just where the error lay. Per-
haps it was in the beginning. Perhaps
some fault Of temper, some long-concealed
vice, some unsupported weakness came to
the surface when all else was smooth and
fair. Possibly, each of the partners was
in fault, and, instead of bearing with each
other, they were petulant, suspicious, ex-
acting, or simply cold and Indifferent.
Whatever was the original cause of es-
arrangement, things went on from bad to
worse until the domestic trouble is bruited
far and wide. The man and woman who
tasted together the sweetness of loves
young dream are hating each other. The
husband who swore to love and cherish,
(and meant it, too, is trying to break his
lawful wedlock The wife who vowed to
love and honor finds life blank. She
has lost her happiness forever.
This is all very miserable. It seems
more miserable because we involuntarily
contrast the conclusion with the lovely
picture of the beginning. In all the wide
world there is no place so horrible as a
home in which husband and wife are at
odds. 1t is no home. The woman is an
alien under the roof of him who was to
defend and protect her. The man, who
should find rest and comfort in his home.
shuts his door behind him with sense of
relief, and goes out into the streets to es-
cape the horror that broods in his house.
Is it any wonder that murder, suicide.
drunkenness and shame often hurry to
drop the curtain on all this misery? And
is it any wonder that young people who
see this wretehed end of a promising life
are afraid to try the experiment? For it
is an experiment, and, unfortunately, the
failures are more conspicuous than the sue
cessful issues No man can tell whether
g majority of marriages are happy or un-
happy; too many skeletons are kept Sc
curely locked in domestic secrecy. But
there are so many woeful chapters Of we'd
ded misery unfolded to the public gaze
that men say, II may be singly unblest
but / may also be cursed double"
1t is evident that many marriages are
not founded on love and respect. Some
are contracted ike business partnerships;
some are entered upon out of pique; and
not few marry without any adequate no
tion of the binding nature of the obliga
tions so lightly assumed. We have gone
far away from the old fashioned homely
idea of home. Unless we have more
wholesome views of life and society, happy
marriages viii become more unfrequent.-
Ne,p VorI. Times