The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1878-08-06
A Ludlcrous Mistake.

lust before noon yesterday Mr.. Jones
u sat down on an empty barrel stand
ing in front of liquor store on Michi-
gan street, and remarked that it was
cheaper TO lose two dollars worth of
time waiting for the car than to foot It
nine blocks.
Mr. Jones is long and lean, and does
not weigh over one hundred and thirty
pounds. The barrel ought to have held
up two like him, but as he wiggled about
to secure an easy position the head fell
in. Mr.. Jones fell in after the head. 1t
wasn't the best he could do, but no time
was given him to plan and ponder. The
first thing he knew after the crash was
finding his feet and ankles over one side
and his shoulders and head wedged
against the opposite. His head was bent
forward until his neck was nearly bro
ken, his legs seemed to have been driven
up, and he was right where the boys
wanted him. He yelled out in smother
ed tones, and an aged lady who keeps
an intelligence office near the scene of
accident, looked down from her window
and called out
"Bub,we don't want any such fooling
around here"
Bub be blowed-lemme out - help
help !" hoarsely roared Jones.
"Oh young man, you are on your
way to the gallows'" ," said the lady, as
she drew back from the window.
Few people walk the streets at noon,
and Mr.. Jones yelled out many times be-
fore the grocer came out He saw the
feet sticking up, and giving them rap
with potato smasher, exclaimed.
"You boys deserve killingl |"
81 am dying in here = help me
out!" roared Jones.
"I'll die you, you old vagrant" re-
piled the grocer, seeing that the feet be-
longed to man, and he gave the barrel
spiteful kick.
-Four or five boys came around the
corner and when they discovered what
was up one Of them recognized jones'
voice. Looking into the barrel he
asked:
Is that you, Jones ?"
Yes--yes," grasped Jones.
" Are you doing well down there, Mr..
Jones ?"
"Oh! Heavens = lemme up I" cried
the prisoner.
I" Aren't you easy in your mind, Mr..
Jones 7" inquired another boy.
:" tell you am dying!" shouted Mr..
Jones, as he tried to struggle around.
" l believe you are liar" replied the
grocer, giving the barrel shake.
When he was con vinced that the man
in the barrel was not vagrant or a
beggar, he set about helping him out
He tried to lift him up, but Jones yelled
for mercy, and the boys put in their
talk and decided that the barrel should
be tipped over. This was done, and
while the grocer went after the hatchet
to knock the hoop off, the boys rolled
Mr. Jones up and down the walk " to
cool him off,"
'Do you fell better now, Mr.. Jones ?"
inquired one.
" Have you cramps in the stomach,
Mr.. Jones ?p asked second.
" Do you really and truly want to get
out of that palace car, Mr.. Jones ?n in
quired third.
And Jones growled and took on, and
tried to kick as the boys rolled him
along he was heard making a solemn
vow that he would kill every boy in De-
troit if he ever got out of that barrel
The grocer finally came with bis hatchet
and as he knocked at the hoops he said
1t was pity to go and destroy nice
barrel like that in order to save human
life.
The slaves finally fell in and Jones
fell out, gave yell and scrambled to
his feet.
"AhI he's the man to play circus
tricks" exclaimed one of the boys.