San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1878-11-30
NIT AND WISDOM.

THE sweet bye and bye" il now spo-
ken Of rs the "saccharine future"
MENDlNG blue stockings with white
yarn makes them q darned sight too
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. l.l.,
THERE wouldn't have been any milk
in the cocoanut il some OF our dairymen
had had the original construction Of it.
WHAT is the difference between sue
ceasful lover and his rival? The one
kisses his miss, and other misses his
kiss. ,tsrt
SAND Ananias stood FORTH This is
said to have been 30 that Mrs. jerks,
Anderson and John Sherman could
have their proper places.
INSTEAD of answering fool accord
ing to his folly it would be Us we'll to
quarantine his mouth and let conversa-
ton rest.--N. o. Picav,tne.
FRENCH army officers have decided
that America raises the best cavalry
horses, but they have no word OF praise
for our army suffers. a1wfuaA
A GEORGIA negro, whose father had
refused him tho loan OF mule TO attend
a funeral, organized q funeral at home
by killing the old man. '
A CABINET-MAKER, deriding q lawyer
who was indebted to him, said the only
case he ever had WINS BOOK case, and
that he neglected to pay himrfor.
"How even that lawn looks, my DEAR"
said she to her husband as they were
taking n suburban stroll. Event" he
exclaimed, "I'm disposed to think it's
sod" $500,
A REPORTER of a California free fight
says: "Colonel-----was shot once in
the left side, once in the right shoulder,
and once in the drinking saloon ada
cent" la F.wa
A GREAT writer says "somo people
are born Christians" but there's no oc-
casion for worrying over the matter.
They generally outgrow it,-Bridge-
port Standard. = ~"
SAID friend to bookseller: "The
book trade is affected, I suppose, by the
generaldepression. What kind of books
feel it most?" "Pocket-books," was the
laconic reply.
A HEALTHY bridegroom, an army mus
ket and I'M ounce OF bird-shot, all work
ing tremendously together, will discOur-
age serenader quicker than a thunder
shower.--Det,'ol Free Press.
The first thing some women will do
when they get to heaven will be to look
and see ii their wings are cut bias, awhile
the wings of other angels are gored.-
Keohuk Constitution.
THE man whose lame back prevents
him from splitting stick of wood OF
building fire is the one who leads an
attack on pile of ten cords of wood to
help uncover and kill frightened rab-
bit.
A cREDULoUs woman hearing great
deal about preserving autumn leaves"
put up some, but afterwards told q
neighbor they were not fit to eat, and
she might MS well have thrown her su-
gar away. ~ set
THE man who waits to get three cats
in line before he shoots will some day
find the poor-house. waiting for him.
II is the man who peppers away at cats
whenever chance offers who will lay M
ducats for his old age.
A FAsHIoNABLY dressed woman en-
tered drug store the other day, and
informed the clerk that her husband
had overloaded his stomach, and that
she desired to get an epidemic to re-
licvc him.
ANOTHER one of those things that no
fellow can find out is, why mans wife
thinks he cares nothing for preserves
and other choice dainties save when she.
has company" for supper.-No,Tis
torn Herald.
He commenced with, ooh! can those
lovely eyes of thine" when she stop
ped him short and told him she wasn't
canning that kind of fruit just then,
and wouldn't be coaxed to do it either.
- FOnkers Gazette.
The spirit Of emulation in funerals is
in strict obedience to public sentiment
Coming from the burial of friend, Y
Danbury young woman said to her
mother: did You ever see such cheap
looking rpsc?'-Danbury Neirs.
An agricultural paper tells How to
Dress Hog" We know how to dress
hog. Give him cane, stove-ripe
hat and pair of eyeglasses. After that
he will try to pass for man. But shawl
hog will be hog, no matter how he
may be dressed.
The eighth wonder of the world is
that fellow will chew dog leg pretzelS
three weeks old with great gusto in u
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