Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1878-01-16

!, With crystalline delight;
Keeping time, time, time,
| In a sort of mimic rhyme,
To the Standardization that 80 musically wells,
. From the jingng and the tinkIing Of the bells.
HUMOROUS.
4 TICKLE tho public and make 1t grin.
The more you tickle, the more you'll win
But livr like bessar, and die in ditch!
I -Belgravin.
4 A SHORT time ago man became 30
completely wrapped in thought that
he was tied up, labeled and sent Of on tha.
"train of ideas" {
A LIBEL-Some vile traducers say
that for the period of month before
marriage, and a month after death, men
regard their wives as angels.
The average man doesn't want an ele-
phant on his hands.-Springfeld Rcpu6-
ican. No; nor on his toes, either.-Bos-
ton Post.
AN inquirer wants to know who was
the sculptor of the bust of confidence?
We should say the same artist who pro-
duced the figure of speech.
A NEW YORK Judge has just decided
that wedding presents are the property of
the bride. How about meerschaum
pipes and tobacco pouches9- Worcester
Press.
THE nuptials of the Widow Canter to
Thomas Rush were thus chronicled:
When Cupid did this maiden banter,
At HyMens course TO take brush,
At first she started with Canter,
But now she goes II with Rush.
A MOTHER seeing her little four-year-
old nearly asleep in her chair, asked If she
had not better 20 to bed. "Oh, no,
mamma; Ionly shut my eyes to keep
the dust out" ~
~ SUPPOSE you miss your husband
very much" he remarked to the charm
ing relict. Miss him? OF course do; he
was very useful in attending to the fire,
winding up the clock and turning out
the ga"
A Boston woman testified that man
had threatened to take her life, and he
was put under bonds To keep the peace
for six months. Since then she has
married him.
Our at Austin, Nevada. young man
asked his lady love if she would accom-
pany him to an old folks concert. She
flared up at the idea of his calling her
"oid folks" and now he says he would
rather be widower than marry woman
SO "touchy" about her age.
A YOUNG lady came to Sabetha the
other day to have her picture taken.
When the artist showed her the proof, -
and asked her how she liked it, she
placidly remarked that he had "put too
much mouth on it" to suit her
iSabetha (Kdn.) Aduance.
A LITTLE five year old girl had been
banished to the hall for disobedience.
Presently curious stamping of little
feet was heard, followed by peremptory
rap at the door by little fingers. "Wh0
is there?' was asked. "Dod," was the
stout reply. "He wants to tum right
in, too, for it's told"
For the First Reader: Do you see
that aged man? He is almost seventy
years old. Do you suppose he is very
rich? Yes, he is. Once he was a poor
life. He will not live much longer.
After he is dead his son will play polo
Nan oho isn't going to die rich.
A FACT: Artist (who has borrowed
vrsc;ons nnrse how on eartb did this
6arnansn Nnrsa Isvmnethet;caIlvl
aWeIl sir Il Is . nity Master Fyank
wss ,avino game. and ia hat went
through the picture. But. lor' sir, you
needn't take on 80. it's sonly the ole
one"
IT wasn,t a FIRE nor a burglar in the
h,nsa that causad a fond w;fe ~ aronse
her husband from deer, sIeen the other
n;oht hv a die in the ribs bnt 4 was to
sav that she had Of last thonohtof = su;t-
sbIe nresent to give Anna Maria Mari
roid hsr ola schooimato friend X Rn.Ion
I'm, Trnn.rr;nt M -
~ N,
/ 1HE current uoPic ailecss even tnc CHI
aren. One OF our citizens was somewnaI M
moi NOT harless daneh,er Who asked uSav.
mana did mamma ever believe that some
f3 fn3Es wcnid l,a lost9n aYes. she did. .
ron1;sJ ,o,I the father oThen whst did sbe
supnosa - VIZ wo,,Id become of von9n
'.rf' "
A NAN named benneFt. VINO nves on
west diii, says ms great gEanuiStner
fought with washington. we nave
carefuily examined irving Liic ana
otner autnorities, D9I We can ma no
record or mentlon Oh washington having
had hght with man named bennert,
80 We tnink our West mn Iriend must
" l's.A.1s !.
a hEADE. - = sno County MI1scs - =
ioiiows: z mule u our villagc yessel-
oAy &c 80. aia.ss;. 49, 80
4 u CAu VA ultIV~klyCGl11lCs IA 0al ~ WIG