The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-01-11
a LION AMONG LADIES.
Measured Ladies for Stock
Emgs Ola ahe AaxeESuIIOm
Principle.


Principle.
The Funny Fellow in the N. Y. Times.
Although the female dress re-
formers always demonstrate at their
annual convention that the practice
of supporting stockings by what are
designated as ligatu res, insures the
moral and physical ruin of the sex,
no successful substitute for the de-
nounced article of dress has yet been
invented. Certain dress reformers
have, it is true; devised a system of
halyards, brails, and downhauls,
which they assert are far superior to
the deadly ligature, but the intrica-
cy of all this running rigging, and
the difficulty which experienced
persons find in its management,
have prevented it from coming into
use. The inexperienced woman
when thus rugged is very apt to
make mistakes, and to find herself
scudding under bare poles, in conse-
Quence of having hanled away on
the downhauI when she had merely
intended to take small pull at the
halyards. Thus, few persons ex-
cept dress reformers are rugged with
the improved stocking gear, and
even these confess that, for. the pur-
pose of catching an early morning
train, the despised ligature has its
manifest advantages.
About two months ago the ladies
of three contiguous counties in
Pennsylvania, were visited by q
slight, graceful, and unassUming
young woman, who announced that
she was the agent of q 'Women's
Dress Reform Benevolent Associa-
ation,' and that she desired to call
their attention to a new invention
of immense hygienic value. The
new invention consisted of the ap-
plication of the six-button glove
principle to hosiery. OF course
this is a delicate subject, but, in the
interest of reform and public mo-
rality, it must be discussed. 1t is
idle for us to ignore the existence
of stockings, and it is cowardly to
shrink from performing a public
duty because it involves an aIlusion
to q delicate topic. Lut us, then, go
boldly forward and relate the
strange conduct of the unassuming
young woman, as reported among
the police news of q Pennsylvania
paper.
While the substitution of buttons
for ligatures or running rigging
struck the ladies of the three coun-
ties as an admirable invention, the
amazing cheapness with which the
agent of the association offered to
sell the improved garments created
Immense enthusiasm. She SAID that
the only object of the association
was to do good, and that it was
! therefore prepared to sell the best
quality of six buttoned goods at one
half of their original cost. In con-
firmation of this statement she cub
United photographic copies of letters
from President Hayes, Mr.. Tilden,
Peter Cooper, Stanley Matthews,
and other eminent statesmen, all OF
whom asserted that they felt that
the introduction of six-buttOned no.
siery was the greatest boon which
could be conferred upon the women
of America, and simultaneously Or
dered six dozen pairs of assorted
sizes to be sent to their respective
addresses. In addition to these let
ters, the agent exhibited a sample OF
the garment in question which ap.
peared to be of the very best quail
ty. The opportunity was one which
no prudent lady could permit to
pass unimproved, and nearly every
one to whom the agent applied or
dered at least half dozen pairs, to
be paid for upon delivery.
There was, however, one little
preliminary which the agent insist
ed was indispensable if she was t.
execute her orders to the satisfac
ton of her customers. The human
mind shrinks from mentioning thi
preliminary, but it cannot be ignor
ed. If the buttons were to be o
any use, they must be so placed il
relation to the button holes that tn
garment would be neither too tigh
nor too loose. Hence when tn
agent produced a tape measure anC
q note book, her view of the mat
ter was at once conceded to be cor
rect, and the agents note book wa
furnished with the required data
Thus that unassuming agent wen
from house to house throughout al
most the whole of thres counties
cheering the female population wit
the hope of miraculously cheap an
! beautiful hosiery, and filling he
uOt0 OOOA WIN oO0A4SbAOcs AAOASN
nately, that otherwise astute ageI
!, drank too much whisky at the las
q town which che visited, and bein
7 arrested for disorderly conduct, col
fessed that she was q man.
When the ladies who had ordere
six-button hosiery learned the trui
as to the unassuming agent and ii
= fate which had befallen him, the
denounced the wretch with gres
yigor, and were unanimous of th
opinion that q combination of vii
i horses and redhot pincers coul
d alone do Justice to him. To tn
d outburst of indignation sncceede
t the terrible thought what had tt
felonious agent done with his sti
tistics Naturally, this thought lie
straight to Mysteries, and for Il
next week the sale of sal volatile
Y Central Penusylvania increased
:, an unprecedented extent.
= A deputation of indignant fathel
: waited upon the inconceivable vi
lain in jail, and demanded the In
! mediate destruction of his no
o book. He admitted that his pr
, tended association did not exist, an
It that he had no intention of execu
70 ing the orders which his deceive
p customers had given him, but
explained that he was an earnest r
It former, and that he intended
10 publish the statistics in question,
order that the medical frsternil
y might become convinced of Il
- blighting effect of the ordinay lig
q ture. Nothing could shake his d
= termination. He said that he had
J. great duty to perform, and that m ~
l. as it PANIED him to grieve anybod
d he must perform that duty. III
I, Indignant parents left his cell mu'
Sc cast down in spirits, and after val
le ly applying to the local court for I
ID Injunction forbidding the false age
he TO publish his statistics, went hon
~ and reported their failure to the
10 wives and daughters.
n' The one question now agitstiI
y the public mind in Pennsylvania
n whether that wretched felon W
IA really publish his statistics. I
nj contingency is one which cannot
III contemplated without shndde
he but at the sane time it is possih
lie that there IL more. or less merit
e. the pretended plan of adapting {
st six-button glove principle to mo
Is esoteric garments, and that the ps