Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1878-04-12
" JOHNS WIFE"

$50 John is married" said DIR. More
land. Had the smallpox-failed twice
in business-lost all he invested in the
Middlecomb mining stocks-and now,
by Way of a grand finishing stroke, has
committed the last blunder that he can
possibly be capable oEgetting married !
Just like Johnr
DR.. Moreland was bald-headed man,
with aquiline features, sparkling eyes,
and an iron gray fringe of hair around
his temples-and, as the moneyed man
of the family, all his relatives looked up
to him with the utmost respect not un-
mingled with a little awe; for he had
what is called temper of his own.
"He hopes you'll like it, uncle" said
John Moreland's sister, timid little old
maid of two or tbree-and-thirty.
"TIopes Tn like it ?" repeated the iras-
chile doctor. "Why don't he commit
suicide at once, and then send word to
me that he hopes Pll be pleasedF'
"Bealaifldp DIR. Moreland elevated
his auuiiine nose in double-distilled
scorn. "And of course she'll want India
shawls and sets of coral and silk frocks,
to deck off her 6ealty-and where is
John to get 'em?"
"And she is a poetess, Uncle More
land"
"Worse and worse?" groaned the old
man. Burnt puddings - buttonless
shirts-dust in all the corners, and inky
''But you'll call, uncle, won't your
SCaIl? What should 1 call for?"
sharply demanded DR.. Moreland. 81
70 how ~, m To1T1
for think she is fool to do it. can't
Congratulate him, for l think he's
bigger fool still to entangle himself with
simpering doll baby of a wife, who
writes versesl Pah! I've no patience
with the folly of this worldP'
Eyes, but uncle"
"My dear" interposed DR.. Moreland,
brusquely, "Pm particularly engaged
this morning, SO perhaps you'd better go
down stairs"
eyes, uncle" said Keziah Moreland,
meekly. She was used to her uncle's
rebuhS, and took them with philoso-
phy which was worthy of better cause.
In spite of this vituperation, however,
DR.. Moreland did call on the bride. He
rang the door-ben of No. SO Boltby Square
at an early hour, as he chanced to be
passing.
'I'll catch her in curl-papers," said he
to himself, his lips twitching with ma
icious smile.
A little maid in frilled cap and white
apron, answered the door-beIl.
"Keep a girl, eh ?'' said DR.. Moreland.
savagely, to himself. "And on Johns
salaryl A pretty mode of econoneizing,
that P'
The little maid showed him into sum
ny parlor with an open-grate fire on the
hearth, and hyacinths in the window,
where very pretty young lady was seat
ed at her needle work. She rose to greet
him-and he was little disappointed to
see no trace of either curl-papers or inky
fingers.
Il suppose you are Johns wifeT said
he.
The young lady smiled.
eyes," said she, 81 am Johns wife.
And 1 conclude that you are Johns un-
Gle, DR.. Moreland."
what, do you keep servant for?' de-
manded the doctor, plunging abruptly IN
nledids res.
'To do the work." said Mrs. John, open
ing her eyes rather wider than usual.
"Why don't you do it yourselfP'
OCOdAA6C L hOAA AAhC ndAoAA42Ak nllllOh6
and scrubbing door-steps," calmly re-
sponded the bride.
"My mother did her own work" curt
ly remarked the doctor.
"But l am not your motherp
Mrs. Johns feminine spirit was evil
IDENTIFY becoming aroused.
"No," said DR.. Moreland, "you are one
of the women of the period. You pre-
&c, fo cff NTH fN1InI hor11C rrrl,sIo
husband tolls his life out to scrape to-
gether little money!
"You are mistaken there, DR.. More
land" said the bride. 81 may be one of
the women of the period-in fact, rath-
er glory in the titfe-but I am also one
who firmly believes in husband and wife
sharing alike the burdens of life as well
as its pleasures"
"HumphF said DIR. Moreland. And
If ever monosyllable expressed whole
dictionary full of obnoxious epithets, it
was that "humphP p "You write poetry,
don't your
"Yes," said Mrs. John, not without a
certain defiance In her tones" write
poetry"
"Let me give you a piece of advice"
said DR.. Moreland, with hands in his
pocket and nose in the air. Gust burn
up all your pens and paper, roll up your
sleeves and go to work. That's the only
way to get ahead of this world.
do you think so % said Mrs. John.
eyes, think so% said DR. Moreland.
"I'm very sorry not to agree with you,"
said Mrs. John, ''but l take different
view of things.
ooh, very well, said DIR. Moreland,
rising from his seat in high dudgeon.
Think as you please; it's free country.
quite free p
Won't you stay and take lunch with
us, Uncle Moreland?" said the bride,
soothingly.
mo, thank you," said DIR. Moreland.
But there's one thing 1 want to impress
upon your mind-and perhaps it wouId
be as well for you to mention it to John.
too"
"What is it, Uncle MorelandP"
Gust this that if you come to want