The Osceola times., 1878-12-14

-Bwitsgio. Ha~ksys
| A MAN may smile and smile and not
be elected.
SALTED rata are actually exported
from India to China as an article Of food.
Fort RICHARDSON, In Texas, which
cost the government about $500, 900, was
abandoned last spring and is now going
to ruin.
THREE stones, placed over the grave
of Thomas Jefferson, at Monticello, Va,
have been taken away piecemeal By relic
hunters. -N
"MY way of life il fallen In the scar,
the yellow leaf" - the cabbage remarked
after 1t had beer transmitted into choice
Havana. r.
A ROCHESTER justice closes the mar
riare ceremony With this Injunction
"What love hath Joined together let not
discord put ssunder."
The strongest propensity In woman's
nature" says q careful student Of The
sex, "is to want TO know what II going
on, and the next thing ID 10 boss the job"
WILLIAM. AUGUSTUS to sleepy room
mate "Come, John Henry, why don't
you get up with the lark, - do p John
night" S ~"
The Danbury News suggests that
when scythe Il, not in use, It should BE-
buried In . deep trench In some piece OF
woods, anda guard OF srmed men should
be kept around the WOODS su
A MICHIGAN farmer writes TO the Tee.
ulty OF Yale: "What are your terms for
a year And Goes II cost anything extra
II my son wants TO learn to read and
write n we'll q. row boatr'
KEEP way from dat negar. tell
you," said Uncle Rube to his sable
daughter; keep way from him. Hes
like what de 'postle John lived on in the
wild nees." "How's dat?' she asked.
"Low cuss an wild, honey" replied
Uncle Rube. ~
ARTHUR (who has been listening with
breathless interest TO one Of grandpspa's
Bible stories): "And Were you In the ark
grandpapa, along side Of Noah and oil The
rest OF 'sni Grandpapa Indignantly:
"No, sir, certainly not" Arthur: Then
how Ia 1t you wasn't drownedf'
AS the happy couple we're leaving the
church the husband said to the partner
Of his welded life: Marriage must seem
a dreadful thing to you why, you were
all OF a trembIs, and one could hardly
hear you say, Il will.," 81 will have
more c,ursge and say 1t louder next
time" sail the blushing bride.
A LIrri Portland girl recently testl-
fed innocently TO the lie Of drudgsry
experienced by the average "Queen Of
the household" who does her own
housework, Somebody asked the child
If her mothers hair was gray. II don't
know" she said 'she |, to tall for me to
see the top Of her head, and she never
sits down" ef1
A GIRL In Hartford was s,nt 10 store
the other day to buy some lane. The
clerk, after putting up the package,
said: "Well, there are two and half
yards at ten cents yard how much
does 1t come to r. To which the Mia
replied: "Well, l am nos going to tell;
/ have to study arithmetic all the rest Of
the week, and l am not going to bother
my head with 1t Saturdays"
AN Oil City citizen has completed
and forwarded to the Post st-office Depart
ment at Washington moLel Of "postal-
clerk-proof envelope" The new envel.
ope Is intended for the transmission OF
money through the mails. It is madeo OF
chilled steel, and the inventor claims that
the tools now employed by bank robbers
| - .. o.hlo-avu - ;Il he % M nfE,S,k 4, v,nu
it. The envelope Il sailed with q CON-
bination lock, much after the pattern Of
those used IN the vaults in the Bank Of
England, but 1, much more complex.
ION City Derrick.
Iol the poor Indianl When he goes
home to his cherries wigwam In the
evening he has no dime novel with
VIII ch TO while away the weary hours;
no friend next door to come in and talk
politics; no medical almanacs to n nd no
New York payers, with full proceedings
of the raey Vanderbilt will case; NO
money 10 safe, for masked robbers to
break in and steal-no civilized pleasures
OF this kind. He simply haDga up the
bloody alps he has captured during the
day, beats his squsw With club, wraps
buffalo robe around him, ard lays down
to pleasant dreams. II pale>face comes
within half q mile OF his wiswam, the
slumbering red man snuds him afar,
awakes, and roe out and shoots him full
of arrovr.-[ Norri.town Herald. iis
WHAT food do cats prefer {" "A $40
mocking bird is their first choice. II the
family are not abl, to keep mocking
bird, the cat must put up with an oriole
or German canary. It is only when
sufi.ring tor food that cat will accepta
snrloin ttrak Cats can't sing. csn
they 7" "No; but bles 'em they can
keep trying to learn how They have cot
10 they can sound the f'st four nctes on
the scale, and they are determined 70 get
tthe rsstn "Whst time do they sisg De
sweetestf" sAt night, besvssnl he
hours Of IL p N. and . 10. lou have
pr,bsbly read items about bold, bad men
| iiinging boot jacks, sticks Of wood and
other chamber furniture At singing cats
D,n't ever associate with such penple.
Cats have ~ much right In Aueriu q
any one elss, and Il is only the neanses
kind Of fslks who will W to teep In
from rising mp In the world" "How
long do csts live ~ Nobody knovs, %
no cat ever had fair SHOW % ~ k0R
many vsnrs II 0c11m ma a XX&/