The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1878-03-01
SpIinGerS.

SPIfnGers.
During a Thunderstorm two dogs
that howled dismally at night were
struck by lightning, HowIing dogs
should cut this out and paste it in
their hats.
Itwon't be long now before men
who can't tell rutabags from an
old tin pail will go out to the coun-
try fairs and begin their Orations
with ':Fellow Farmers"
The New Hampshire State Agri-
cultural College is now run for the
benefit of eight students. None
have entered this year.
Street railways have become 80
popular i'll Paris that it is Intended
TO lay them on all the principal av-
enues and boulevards and the wild
er streets that communicate between
the eXtremities of the city.
The great Corliss engine of the
Philadelphia Centennial Exhibi
ton is on its way back TO Provi-
dence, and sixty cars are required
for its transportation.
During the last ten years ], l35
persons have been killed, and 81
1927 manned in the streets of Lon
don by vehicles Of one kind or an
other, but for the most part by
light carts aud cabs. The number
killed last year was 40, while 2,74G
were manned.
Here is q conundrum which we
do not remember to have seen IL
print: Why is q pig looking out OF
a secOnd-story window like the
moon? Because he looks round
If anybody triumphsntly retOrte
that the moon does not always look
round, you can reply that the pig
dosen't either.
Henceforth no man need labor
through life under the burden of an
i'll shaped nose. A London phiian-
pist advertises a 'nose-machine,'
which. applied to the nose for al
hour daily, so directs the soft car.
tilage of which the member con-
sists that an Informed nose il
quickly shaped TO perfection.
There was at Dieppe, in France,
at last accounts, an old three-mast.
ed vessel called the Petrus, bull
800 years ago. The stern is eleva
ted, and bows are rounder thar
those of the present day. She II
staunch, and still in service. She
was built in Norway, and has al.
ways been employed in the Baltic
and North sea trade.
The Superintendent of the Roy.
al foundry at Woolwich, England
has made q report on the expert
ments with the big guns of the Ital.
ian ironclads Dnilio and Dandolo
stating that the heaviest Englist
ordnance would fail to pierce theil
armor, while the 100 ton IraIior
pieces could successfully damagt
any vessel in existence.
A gentleman gave party in hon.
or of a distinguished missionary
lately returned from his field o.
work. The ladies appeared with
very decollete dresses, and as thu
host feared the style might shocl
bis reverence, he appologised Il
him for it, saying that fashion de
manded it. sHOh, l don't mind it 81
all, replied the missionary 81
have been ten years among the saw
ages"
"Far be it from as to doubt th,
word of a brother editor says ths
La Crosse Sun; 'swe believe then
all to be truthful men; but when
the Durand Times says that the wa
is so low at the mouth of the Chip,
pewa river that catfish have to en-.
l1ploy mudturtles to tow them Over
the bar, we feel as though the edi
tor must be away, and some Local
preacher filling his place."
Secretary Thompson, in speaking
of the numerous jokes at his ex
pense, said tsThat of the hatch.
way is best" Some one present
hsd NOS heard of it, and be repeat.
ed: 'tOn one of my visits of in
speciiOn it was said that / wa.
asked TO define the proper dimen.
tons of 3 haschway, and that ] rs.
piled, ssThas depends upon the Sis
Of the hen and the number OF egg;
J che has to SET on.