St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1878-06-21
Squibs.
Is it murder to kill time?
Public singers-Mosquito
A joint affair-Rheumatisn

is III Huruef 10 XIII Time!
Public singers Mosquitoes.
A joint fair-Rheumatism.
A raining favorite-An umbrella.
To put horse on his metal-Shoe
him.
Unbleached domestics Negro ser
wants.
Filtration is attention without inten-
ton.
To make a coat last-make the vest
and trousers first.
The largest room in the world-The
room for improvement
A crow must be brave bird, for it
never shows the white feather.
A thief may make bolt for the door
and not be a good mechanic either.
Cork screws have sunk more people
than cork life preservers will ever save.
To hit a sleepy worshipper on the
head with a contribution box, is mere
ly bump of benevOlence.
paper, sirg" asked the newsboy.
'NO, never read,n was the blunt ans
wer. "Hi, boys, come here,n called
out the gamin; 'E'here's a man as is
practicin' for the juryl'
A Frenchman has invented an appa-
ratus for freezing, that will make a
whole skating rink in less than two
hours. With one of these surreptitious-
ly handled, a plumber can have busi-
ness the year round.-Danbury Ne,us.
The strawberry festival days are
swooplng down on us. The bloom is
on the berry; but beneath we see the
face of the lottery fiend, the peanut
stand syren and the grab-bag deceiver.
-NOraUich Bulletin.
The News says Russian agent was
in Danbury to buy up a lot of steam
ships, but failing to complete satisfacto-
~ negotiations, he took two shirts from
clothes-line belonging to a party
named Moriarity, and returned to Rus
sia.
The latest sentimental agony in songs
is tender ballad, beginning,
who will come above me signing,
When the grass grows over mep'
We can't say, positively, who, but if
the cemetery fence is in the usual re-
pair it will probably be the cow
Hdvkeye.
In Paris, jokes on the Exhibition are
in order. A widowed mother of penu-
riOus habits, with an only son, is report
ed to have called on physician in ref
erence to her boys health. She de-
scribed his symptoms, among which
was want of appetite. The doctor said
1t was only the lassitude of spring.
Let me treat him, and | will give him
stomach to devour all before him. y
The widow thought moment. sePro-
visions will be dear when the Exhibi-
ton opens 1t is better to let him re-
main as he is"
Not long since distinguished litera-
ry man was crossing the Common. when
policeman, observing him treading
upon the grass, growled, "DOn't YOU
see that sign, Keep off the grass p"
Certainly do" was the reply. 81 am
doing all can to keep it off.-BostOn
Transcript.
"Just one,n murmured he. involunta-
rily drawing closer to the luscious lips.
that smiled upon him with such ravisb,
ing bewltchingness, while his own ouiy-
ered IN agony OF expectant anticipation.
90 notice" replies she, coolly, glanc-
--S ~" VIZ SioSh, anu Ullne IOI YOU TO
turn up your coat collar and shut the
door from the Outside.n He went
Danbury Ne,cS.
Early to bed and early to rise
MAKES man boast in a way despise"
An exchange says: ga piece of rag
soaked in solution of cayenne is q
capital thing to put into mouse holes.
Ihey will not attempt to eat it.p Here
away mouse holes never attempt to eat
anything.-POrtland Advertiser.
An intelligent farmer living in. Des
Moines county has invented a beno-
phone. modelled on the principle of tbe
telephone, by which one reliable old
hen occupying central office in the
hennery sits on all the nests about tbe
establishment, leaving the other fowls
Iree to lay eggs, scratch and cackle.
AS fast as new nest contains the fuIl
complement of eggs, it is connected
with the central Office by a copper wire
and the business is settled. The only
trouble with the machine is that IT SITS
so hard it matches out the porcela;n
nest eggs along with the Others. SO that
one chick In every nest is born with
glass eyes, and the farmer has to bnv
and train dog to lead it around. This
makes 1T expensive.-Burlington Hank
eye. -"''"