The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1878-07-27

one moment. Then her eyes
wavered and fell, and she DID not
look up until was close by and
held out my hand with few
words OF greeting. My heart was
10 a futter OF gladness. She was
near-and [ loved her!
After that we met often. Once
came near showing her my heart
:i would to God / had done ). ::
Rothermel! ! was very near hea-
ven-the gates were almost open
but I dared not venture IN and
they will never unclose for me
again. Don t accuse me. af talk
ing sentiment, for I am hot. If
you ever love woman you will
find that her love is to you on
earth what heaven will be wnen
you are dead. | believe that. So
will you.
/ said that / came near showing
her my heart. We were alone.
[ had been reading some poem to
/
her, and its story of love had car
ried my heart along or its tide Of
passion, until I felt that It was
my own story. I shut the book
and turned to her with my heart
upon my lips. Her eyes Were
strangely tender with the feeling
which the poem [ had been read
ing had awakened in her breast
She smiled into II Y eyes-[ touc>
he'd her hand as you might touch
a rose-and was drmb!
If | had only spoken! Butth
wild, cursedA tear was upon me
and the happiness of lifetime
slipped from my grasp, and was
lost forever.
/ did not see her again for
months. She had gone Son.h to
visit some friends.
But | dreamed of Ier, in my
day-dreames, and lald my plans
for the future, and not one plan
was woven III which she was not
the central thought. When she
came back would speak ou.. I
.wonld daily no longer.
By aud by | heard that she had
a lover in that Southern city
where her friends lived. A fear
sprung up in my heart. What #
| should lose her, after all? But
the thought that she loved me
quoted me.
/ waited anxiously for her CONS
ing home. She came at lest, aud
the told me that she did not come
alone.
| would go to her. I would
make my happiness sure.
| went to her. She met me
with /; touch Of the brightness in
her face. Then it grew pale, and
I fancied that she was i'll at ease.
She did not seem like her old
self. True, could call the color
to her cheek tor moment. at
some low word of mine, and her
eyes would light up with the old
tenderness, but a swift shadow
would fall and hide it all.
At last | spoke out:
"Alice," [ said, Il love you. I
have come t, tell you SO at last. !"
Her face grew pale as death.
Her eyes filled with darker
shahadow.
ooh, why haze you told me
this now?' she cried. .'If you
nad only told me this before..'
My heart seemed to stop beats
ing.
"1ou love mel" l cried. "Nos
thing must come between US
Alice" ("
"There is promise that I can>
not break between US. she SAID;
and her voice sounded far away.
81 am to marry Douglas Leith.
1t was then that | realized
what [ might have had, had it not
been for my insane folly. [ had
lost her-and. God help me! I
loved ber SO WE'LL"
Il thought you loved me-" I
said, by and by, when [ could
command my voice.
L did! >he cried, and burstine
to a passion of tears. ssBut I
thought you could not care very
much tor me, tor you never told
me that you loved me-
/ cannot tel You any more
about that last interview, Roth>
ermel. [ went away Knowing
that the woman [ had lost loved
me, and might have been nine If
I had spoken out like a man
When [ ought to have dene so.
But I had lost her forever. I
must 60 on my way alone. haunt
ed by the memary of what was,
and ls, and of what may not be.
You never dreamed I was haun-
ted man, Rothyrmal, but I am.
When | see that woman, as we
saw her just now, you cannot
gness how my heart cries out for
what it might hrve had, if I hal
not been a coward.
~ n