St. Landry democrat., 1878-01-26
MARK TWain's First Impression
of Bermuda.

There was an ample pier Of heavy
masonry; upon this, under sheker, were
some thousands of barrels containing that
product which has carried thes fame of
Bermuda to many lands, tho potato.
With here and there an onien. That
last sentence is facetious; for they grow
at least two onions in Bermuda to one
potato. The onion is the 10y. and pride
OF Bermuda. 1t is her jewel, her gem of
gems. In her conversation, her pulpit,
her literature, it is her most frequent
and elegant figure. In Dermudian
metaphor it stands for perfection-per
fection absolute,
The Bermudian weeping over the
departed exhausts praise when he says
" He was an onionl" The Bermudian
setting his son upon the sta ge of life to
DO and care for himself climaxes all
counsel, supplication, admonition, COM
prehends all ambition when he saws ::
" Be an onion!"
When parallel with the pier, and ten
or fifteen steps outside it, we anchored.
1t was Sunday, bright and sunny. The
groups upon the pier-men, youths and
boys-were whites and blacks in about
equal proportion. All were we'll and
neatly dressed, many of them nattily, a
few OF them very stylishly.! One would
have to travel far before he would find
another town of twelve thousand inhabi-
tants that could represent itself so re-
specially, in the matter Of clothes, on a
freight pier without pre1aeditation or
effort. The women and young girls,
black and white, who occasionally passed
by were nicely clad, and many were
elegantly and fashionably !so. The men
did not affect summer clothing much,
but the girls and women did, and their
white garments were good to look at,
after so many months of familiarity with
somber colors.
Around one isolated potato barrel
stood four young gentlemen; TWO black,
two white, becomingly dressed, each
with the head of a slender cane pressed
against his teeth, and each with foot
propped on the barreA Another young
gentleman came up, looked longingly
at the barrel, but saw no rest for his
foot there, and turned pensively away to
seek another barrel. He wandered here
and there, but without result. Nobody
sat upon barrel, as is the custom of the
idle in other lands; yet all the isolated
barrels were humanity occupied. Who
soever had a foot to spare put it on a
barrel, if all the places on it were not
already taken. The habits of all peoples
are determined by their circumstances.
The Bermudians lean upon barrels be-
cause of the scarcity of lamp-posts.
Many citizens came on board and
spoke eagerly to the oficers-inauiring
about the Turko- Russian war news,
supposed. However, by listening judi.
ciously, L found that this was net so.
They said: "What is the price of
onions ?" or, SLOWS onions ?'' Naturally
enough, this was their first interest; but
they dropped into the war the moment
it was satisfied. il
We went ashore and found novelty
of a pleasant nature; !; there were no hack
men, hacks or omnibuses Oh the pier or
about it anywhere, and nobody offered
his services to us, or smolested us in any
way. [ said it was like being in heaven.
The reverend bqkingly and rather
pointedly advised me to make the most
of it, then. We knew of boarding
house, and what we needed now was
somebody to point US to it. Presently
little barefooted colored boy came along,
whose raggedness| was conspicuously
un-Bermudian. His rear was SO marvel
ously bepatched with colored squares
and triangles that one was half persuaded
he had got it out Of an atlas. When the
sun struck him right he was as good to
follow as lightning bug. We hired
him and dropped into his wake. He
piloted us through one picturesqu
street after another, and in due course
deposited us where we belonged. He
charged us nothing for his map and but
a trife for his services, SO the reverend
doubled it. The: little chap received his
money with beaming applause in his
eye which plainly said: This mans an
onion !"-December atlantic.