The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1878-01-29

took Thomas Jefferson out Of the stable,
backed him up agin hill. gin him cuff
Dn the ear, and we stood bv to see tie
amusement I, Wa i good place 10 kick
his durndes,, aud what dive s'pose lac did
In ten minutes hv Me watch he WAS out al
sight In five more We couldn't find him
with twelve loot pole, and and" The
crow! began la yell and sneer, ami the na:-
raior looked around and asked: Doe
ANYBODY think I'm living Would lie for
one mule Kigh, here under my arn Is a
round OF rallow candles Shic!, are 10 light
the hole for 10 go in after Thomas; and
goo, word not an hour ago tina; the hind-feet
OF . mule were sticking out II a hill thirty
nine miles rs the bird flies from where my
mule Went in. I'm shaky on religion gem
tiemen, hut oar family never bad a liar III 1t
Reader, iellow-iunch Grabber, take IT:
vour hat while We tune cur pipes and pro-
ceed to Music. one, two, three-slng.
Ia the street of By-anj-bv
Stands the charEel hofs>e Of Never
Dream from deed he must discover
Who his fortune here would try.
There's paihos III the cry
As OF impo,eni endeavor;
ln the street Of By-and-1v
Stands the charnel-house ot Never
Grave or gallant, iow or high.
Dull or dainty, eros. or clever,
Iou must lose your chance forever
Ii YOU let il forth 10 fly
la the street OF By-and-By.
Old hell-disputing Beecher himself
couldn't do better than that. Somehow oil
other we never mention the name a
Bee;her, but what il iemoralizes us, and
while we're demoraiizei we'll tell the fol
lowing story before the truth gets back
She AT upon the parlor lounge
And William. he sat by her,
Aud neither spoke single word,
Bu, both gazed in the fire.
. At last he ciasped her dimpled hand,
And told her of his love,
And swore he would be true I" her
By moon and stars above.
He said he could not live without
Before he could say more
/ Her dad came in, and with a club
Enticed him out the door.
! Wonder If his feet were cold? COX
Zee, are awful There's going 10 be a nev
revolution, a. Mrs Darlington says, seduce'
into Congress, granting divorce Is an.
man who has vile with cold feet. An'
: il right, too. Look al poor DID Ricketts,
Speaking OF cold feet, interrupted ol,
Ricketts,, "why. my second ui:e's feet we'
80 much colder than INV first wife-, that
required six more tens oi coal during Tia
winter IL heat the house, and had 10 kee,
four stoves ia full blast all summer f. IRE
vent the children IRON taking cold.
And ;hat's true, too, tor we've stolen "u
wood all winter of ni old Ricketts, pile
4 lew nights ago y couple OF ietlinines
angelic little Jumps of Righteousness, n
fresh and as fair a. spring day in Para
disc, went over 1" spend the night Will
their sister, their sisters husband beng ab
sent. Now II l. fact. said To be "nl,
known TO married men, that ladies have
peculiar garb. eho-;iferous kind of tegu
ment, la which To Ice embraced by the arm
of Morpheus. IL appears that OH this DC
ca-ion there was a deficiency, = lacking, il
fact, not enough by one Ia go round, 80 on
of the darlings had, TO the great di-may o
her two companions, Ia substitute the ais
sent hrother-in-law's garment 10 which h
iastens his paper collar. Romantic dream
and strange imaginations driited befur
them in that mystic land 81 dreamer.
Then. when nocturnal SAUNDERS had van
ished, and ere the resplendeni ray, of oi'
Il In ,,.t,-aI tho t,rL iron. IT.
nest, they bounded frem their resting plac
Of feathers and began To re-array ihemselve
After testing = little (which, however. ha'
better remain untold, the maniy-cla'
sugar lump calling Ia her companions
Did y"u ever sleep with garment lik
this before" Her companion smiled
shook her head, and said 40. hut Nv
been just dying to Nil my life
That's wha; talking about Beecher doe
WHY his morality Is a. short as the breecl
es the Ir.hman talked about.
Iii where did YOU get them trousers ,
asked an Irishman OF a man who happene
10 he passing with a pair o. remsrkabl
short trousers on.
IL got them where they grew" was Oh
indignant reply.
"Then, be me COINCIDENCE said Pa
you've pulled them year too soon y
This camp meeting will now break ur ic
the same reason a the one given by I'll
darkies did, which may lie found describe
in the following sublime poem, written b
George Francis Train:
Come brederin', get in the golden car,
Oars room for YOU an me UP dar:
Come, sit down on de anxious seat,
Kase sin am sour an 'ligion sweet.
CHcRUs-pen come an jine right now j
De ban.
An take de sistern by ,ie han
We are bound for glory in d
happy Ian.
Put dem slippers on your ieei
When you walk along in the golden stree
An in dem angels put your trus,
kase no room dar for 10 raise a du-
Ii Won see Peter asleep at lie gate.
kase de night beio' he was up SO late.
i You needn't spect wild your load oh sin
Dat You can pas him, an steal ris h, in.
hey knew Won here, and dey' know yo
dar,
Kase de angels always on de squar':
DEVIL hist Won out oh dar libby sight,
If You're fall of sin and Your soul ain
right.
IL d. i.