The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-06-06
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

SENSE AND NONSENSE.
A FINE fellow: A Justice of the
Peace.
DRoPPlNG a privatecr: Weeping in
secret.
ArIGHrsqueeze: Embrace of drunk.
en- man.
The St. Lous Journal calls for the
disqualification of bangles.
CAN man flyP asks the New York
Express. Ask some bank cashier in
Canada.
A GRANGER's wife deserves at least
one good dress of grow-grain silk.--M.
O. Picayu'sc.
NECESSITY was not the mother of the
photograph invention. Americans are
still able to talk.-Picaysss,c.
The torpedo committee of the Rus
sian Government has ordered 1000
barrels of Minnesota flour.-B,srlinoto,
Hawk-Eye.
If there is anything in this world of a
more uncertain tenure than a minis
ter's salary it is q woman's thimble.-
Breakfast Table.
If q man wants little more than
any of his neighbors have it is hard to
make him happy, but if he wants only
what he absolutely needs he can be
happy anywhere.-N.Y Herald.
A LEADING feature of the flower fash
ion this season is the willow catkin-a
little fluffy, fcathcred-looking blossom
of those early trees. Nearly every
wreath and spray is made up with it.
N. Y. Graphic.
ALL last summer Detroiter had q
standing offer to pay $50 for proofs
that cucumbers had ever caused case
OF collie, but no proofs could be fur
nished. The same offer is now re.
newed.-Detr0I Free Press.
THE photograph may bottle up the
voice and pass it down to future ages;
but the smile that twists the face Of a
man as he seeks solitude and gazes
upon his name in print for the first
time will always have to he guessed at.
A MINNESOTA girl recently boiled the
clippings from her toe-nails in some
coffee, of which she gave young man
to drink, in the hope of winning his af-
fections. But, alas! The pairings
failed to pair, and another sweet dream
persisted.
TIM Brown, a colored boy, on the
farm of Warren Gentry, st. Louis
County, Mo-, is the possessOr of most
extraordinary pair of feet. They meas
ure 224 inches. The heel is enormous
ly long, extending back from the foot
at least four inches.
PAUCA VERBA.-RObinsOn CATER q
long whist-bout at the club)-It's aw-
fully late, Brown. What will you say
to your wife? Brown Tin whisper)-
Oh, l shan't say much, you know
"GoOd morning, dear" or something
O. that sort. She'll say the rest
Punch.
"BEGGARs can't be choosers," says
an old adagc. We take notice that a
beggar got into the hallway the other
day and chose from the hat-rack forth
with three hats, one umbrella and our
best seal-skin ovcrcoat. This knocks
the sawdust out of that adage.-,Scot-
tish american.
A RESIDENT of Montgomery County,
Pa, has exchanged his farm of 10l
acres, with the buildings, implements,
crops and stock, valued at $45, 900,
clear of incumbrance, for theater in
Philadelphia subject to mortgage of
$40, 900, and has given $4,000 to boot.
In year or two he evil have the ex-
perience."
THE morality of some people goes
just far enough to enable them to resist
the temptation to steal Strawberries
unless they can find the sugar and
cream to eat them with. 1t is not the
appropriation of what does not belong
to them, but their inability to take ex-
actly what they want, that seems to
trouble them.-N. Y. Herald.
FROM the son of prominent states
man, in Washington, to q pretty girl:
"Our House, April 80, 1S78.-Dear
Miss-I want you to come around to
our house if you can't get anybody to
come around to your house and fetch
you around to our house l will come
around to your house and fetch you
around to our house. Respectfully -
etc.
HARRY DUssEAULT, a Canadian, has
OllC 1CdsO Va WdkhkUX UUOu
water at Taunton, Mass. Last Monday
evening he walked quarter of q mile
on Taunton River in six minutes. He
wears q pair of patent shoes, made Of
tin, about one foot wide and three feet
long, in which air is confined, and he
makes his way in kind of skating
gait.-N. Y. Post.
A PORTLAND, Me-, school teacher
whipped a girl recently, and her father
came to the rescue, but could not stop
the punishment. Her mother then
essayed the task, but was put out of the
school-hOuse. The teacher was ar
rested for assault and battery, and &C.
quilted. He then had the parents
arrested, and they were found guilty
and fined each $5 and costs.
The conversation fell upon anonymous
letters, on which subject each said his
say: " The arm of coward" 1.-THE
weapon of an informer," etc. A gen.
tleman of Irish descent, who had been
listening very attentively. then said:
"One day I thought l would try what
effect an anonymous letter would have
upon me, so wrote one to myself.
VcIs was 4ullo AAuAAoA0ut w L.
II SHOULDN'T think there would be
such word as breakfast" remarked
young linguist to his mother, the
other morning. "Why not, dearP'
asked she. because, ma" replied
the boy, cit amt natural; things never
break fast-they break loose" There
was a sad bcwilderment of expression
in the face of that mother, as she gazed
speechlessly upon her precious son.
IJor,.3s,ln DnosA3n, .uI =. N..vo-