New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1878-12-18
The Little People.
hen is a boy like a bird2 When he

Johnny was whipped at school for
piece Of mischief done by another boy.
Verdict, a misplaced switch.
A correspondent asks what did Will
liam Tell 2' So far as we remember he
said: ooh, shoot the apple anyway"
Anold negro cook says: t'Sass is pow
ertul good in every thing but children.
Dey need some oder kind Of dressin'."
I "When is a man a coward?" asked q
teacher of mental philosophy. "When he
runs away from a cow,"' answered q
pupil. ~
THAT boy will make his mark in the
world some day. said a parent of his
dullest child. So he did. He never
learned to write. II din6urq Herald.
sSee, mammal exclaimed little one,
as puss, with arching spine and elevated
rudder, i struted around the table,
1see! Kitty's eat so much she can't shut
her tail down."
ooh, mother, don't want to go to
school to-day, I've got such bad pain
in my head" Every well, you shall stay
at home and take some physic." "Oh, it
don't matter; I'll 60, then; I've got the
pain, but it doesn't hurt a bit"
A little girl who resides on the hill said
last night, after strong swallow Of cat
nip tea, and after her parent had vainly
importuned her to take some more, ono,
mamma; one swallows good as some
more. "-Kingston N. z. freeman.
A sunday-school pupil of tender age
being asked how he liked the gentleman
who had addressed the school, replied:
'SHe was funny man, He told about
the handwriting on the wall and said it
was Minnie, Minnie, tickle the parson.,n
"What's the name OF your dog, sonny?"
inquired man of an urchin who was
leadingSSa big Newfoundland by a. rope.
TRAY, sir,' replied the boy. "Ah! +
see,' rejoined the man. s'Then he is led
as Tray?" The boy said he guessed so.
Said mother to her little son: ''There!
Your toes are out Of your stockings again;
seems to me they wear out in a hurrv.''
Giving comical leer, he said: ssDo YOU
Know why stockings wear out first at the
toes2" EMO" because toes wriegle.
and heels DON'T" s
Arthur (who had been listening with
breathless interest to one Of grand papa's
Bible stories): "sAnd were you in the
ark, grandpa, along o Noah and the rest
Of 'em?" Grandpapa Indignantly: No,
sir, certainly mott" Arthur: "Then
how is it you wasn't drowned?"
Al a recent Sunday school concert tho
superintendent was talking about idols,
when, to ascertain whether the children
were understanding what he was saying,
he asked: Children, what is an idol?'
"Being lazy" was the quick and loud re-.
Spouse of one Of the members of the iuve-
nile class. s.b M
Scene, not far from fashionable State I
street: Little girl to playmate: "Say,.
has your mother got felIer?' Second
hopeful: "a Teller? Why my mammals
married How can she have a fellergn
First speaker: ooh, that doesn't make
any difference. Has your mother got a
Teller? Mine has"
A teacher asked one Of her class what
was the first line Of a piece Of poetry
which described Daniels feelings on be-
ing cast into the lions den.t The Young
ster was posed, The teacher said Come
come" sharply .Thereat the bow ex-
claimed, hurriedl1 know, Miss; it
was 'Good-by, swssthegrt, good-by."
Janet: Mamma, dearsswhat time in !
the day was 7 born?" Mamma: "At g.
o'clock in the morning. Jack: sAnd
what time was I born?" Mamma: 'sNot
until o'clock Janet: "Ah, my birth
day is longer than yours, Jack!" jack:
"Whau's the use of being born before its
time to get up?" Punch.
Punch: Juvenile (who has been in the :
habit of fetching rump steak for an in
valid mother): Mother sent me for two
pounds Of the best beefsteak, and please
to cut it tender, cause it is for nv little
brother that's ill. Butcher (kindlv):
Your brothers''s a-gettin' of his little ap-
petite again, amt he, young gentleman2
A little miss Of eight summers, living
on the hill, was sent to store on Main
street Saturday to purchase some lace.
After doing it up the clerk said: well
there is ,oae and 3 half yards of lace at
ten cents a yard; how much does tina.
come tosns To which the miss pertly re-
piled: swell I'm not going to tell. I
have to study arithmetic al the rest of
the week, and I'm not going to bother
my head with it saturday.--Hayo
Times.
A certain little girl up town lived with
two aunts, one married, with whole lot
Of children, and lots of worry and bother
and the other single and having quite a
comfortable time teaching school. The
child one day threw her doll aside, and
assumed an attitude of profound thought,
which was Interrupted at last by the