The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1878-02-14
A CAPITAL STORY.
Jeems and Lie on their Wedding
rOur.

young and both were Yerdant, having been
raised in the wilds of western Virginia !;
neither of them had ever been fifty miles
from home. They had heard of railways,
steamboats,, locomotives and hotels, but had
never experienced the comforts of any of
the aforementioned institutions. Jeems
and Lie had determined on this, the most
important event of their lives to visit the
city and see the world, particularly that
portion of it known as Parkersburg No
wonder that they were amused and de-
lighted when the locomotive, steanIing and
snorting, with the beautiful crimson cars
following it, came in sight.
"ThOse your trunks ?'' said the baggage
master.
"Well, sorter calculate them's 'em,"
said Jecms.
The trunks, Il spotted hair trunk and a
very old-fashiOned valisc, were soon in the
baggage-car, followed by Lie and Jcems.
"I'll be darned if railroads amt fine
thing" said Jeems, seating himself on his
baggage, and carefully holding up the tail
of his tight-waisted blue, adorned with
resplendent metal buttons, out of the dust.
& Lie, sit here by me-"
Come out OF that" said the baggage
master; Won are in the wrong car"
1.-The h-ll l am! Dye spose 1 don't
know what Pm about? These is my traps,
and | calculate to stop whar they are.
Keep quiet, Lie we've got to fight our
way through the world ANYHOW, and if that
chap with Il cap on, wants anything Pm
his man. Don't want any yer foOlin'
round ma
Here the captain interposed and explained
matters, insomuch that Jeems consented to
leave his traps and follow the captain.
What was his delight when he surveyed the
magnifcence of the first-ciass passenger car,
into which he was ushered. His imagina-
ton had never, in its wild flights, pictured
anything half so gorgeous. He was aroused
from the contemplation of the splendor
around him by the shrek of the iron
horse.
"Jewhilel1ins what in the thunder is
that %' exclaimed Jeems.
That's the horse squealing when they
punch him in the ribs with a pitchfork to
make him go along" said sleepy individ-
ual Just behind him.
"I.ook here, stranger" said Jecms al
know you think I'm darned fool-may be
| am-but there's one thing do know, and
that is that you'll get your mouth broke if
you don't keepit shut l dent say much"
Just at that moment they found them
selves in Egyptian dark ness, and there was
Il scream almost equal to that OF the en-
gine, from Lie as she threw her arms
around the neck of Jeems.
L knew itw exclaimed the sleepy indi
viduaI we are all lost, every mothers son
of Us. We can prepare to make the az
quaintance of the old man in black, who
tends the big FIRE down below"
Oh, Lord Jeems, what will become of
us? 1 felt skeery about gettin' on the out
landish thing at furst."
Keep quiet. Lize-hollerin' won't do
any good now. IF you know any prayer,
now's the time for both of u.s."
What's the matter here ?" said the as
tonished conductor, coming up as the train
emerged once more into the light
"Thats Just what I'd like to know" said
Jeems, when he saw Lie and himself were
still alive.
We've just passed through Eatons tun-
mel, !" replied the polite captain. How far
are you going?''
We'll, reckon well stop at Parkers-
burg"
Show your tickets, if you please"
Sartainly. Lie, you've got some with
You. Let this gent look at EN-"
Lie drew a piece of white paper from
her reticuIe, and with smile, handed it to
our friend, the captain. Who said:
The pleasure of your company ID re-
spectfullY solicited" etc.
What's this?" asked the captain.
Why, that's one of the tickets to our
weddin'; that's what you asked for,
haiu't it ?" said the somewhat surprised
Jeems.
Whaw! whaw whawp' was the dis
cordant sound that aro-e from the seat of
the sleepy looking individual.
A bland smile passed over the face of the
captain, as he explained the meaning to our
vcrdant friend. He had no ticket, but will
| ingly paid his fare, and the train sped on
to its destination. But wonders did not
cease here-prcsently our pert newsboy,
Billy, entered the car, and stepping up to
Jeems, he asked:
| Have n Sun, STRIP
avail, if l have my way about it, the
fust one will be i son, sartain, said Jeems.
Lie blushed.
Don't count your chickens before they
are Matched, said Billy, as he FASTENED to
the next car.
In due time the train stopped at the big
depot in this city. Amid the confusion OF
! strange noises, and the babble of discOrd-
ant voices, our friends landed on the plat
form.
- Bus, sab? Bus, sab free for the
United States ~ said ne sable porter Of
our uptown house Lady, take bus
sab p
Wall, rather spose she won't from any
body else but me-reckOn Pm able to de
all in that line she wants, and more too,
said Jeems.
"Go TO the Swan House, sab Righ
across de street-best house in de city. This
way, sir. Any baggage? Have it sent t.
your room in a few minutes"
: In 4 short time Jeems and his bride
, found themselves in one of those comfort
, able rooms on the second floor of that we'll
ordered establishment, the Swan House
2 The baggage was sent up with the usua
; Promptness, and our friends were soOI
making their toilet for dinner. Jeem
had his coat Of IN TffT,s anI I iyass n n
fell gracefully over her shoulders.
That's u duced pretty torsel - Jeem
s=id, cycling the bell-cord-"wonder what IL
fur" catching hold of it. Look, it work
on thar in 4 sort of thingumbob. Pdlik
to have that torsel to put on my horee'
;. head next muster day; sec how 1t works,
said he, giving ii pull.
: Presently the door opened, and the sabl
: face of one of Africa's sons WAS thrust int
the room with the inquiry OF a Ring, sab J
Ring ?-riRg what. you black ape?
you do not quit loolSin' at my wife aud max
. yourself scarce; III wiring your head OFF,
" Stop n mint" said Lie, whatr tn
: name of the man who keeps this tavern
II 4 Mr.. Conley, marm."
II "Well, tell his lady that she needn't e
. to any extra fxins on our account, f.
= we are plain people" said the amiabl
II bride.
,r +" As they used to say in our debating 5.
,e ciety," interpozed Jeems, I'll amend tn:
:, motion by saying you can tell them Il
. best they've got, | am willing 10 pay 70
g and don't care for expenses"
Is " Tee-hee, tee-hee," was the only audib
i reply from the sable gent as he hurric
= down stairs.
|, Dinner came and was dispatched wi
a. relish. Jeems and his bride took strc
over the city, seeing the lions and 9th