The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1878-05-18
.CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.


fishes cuts of the noses of the principal member
Of the United States senate. The Post is gettin
to be great nose.papcr.
An exchange says that Chandler and Mont
gomery Blair are evolved from the same proto
plasm. Now we thought protoplasm was in bet
ter business than that.
Detroit Free Press: Although Victor Hugo re
fuses to exchange autographs with the sweet
singer of Michigan, she can proudly point to heI
baby and scornfully cry out, snatch him! Me
atch him If you CAMP And he can't.
General B. F. Butler has made an announce.
ment to the American people Of a somewhat
startling character. He says he is made in the
image of his Maker.
Down in Maine rum is allowed to be sold only
for mechanical purposes. backwoodsman hay
ing bought five gallons explained that he wanted
it for "raising barn"
For 'the farmers will forget their pantry and
nursery in the excitement of politics." in recent
article in the Lynchburg Vrginian, read "Thc
farmers will forget their poverty and misery" etc.
An enthusiastic furrer having read the tur-
gid "carbone" advertisements in the Chicago
woodshed with the expectation of raising mink
skins and buffalo robes.
Ayoung lady correspondent (poctic) desires to
know If we have seen anything sweeter than "a
Chapet Alone" Certainly; we have seen chap
let girl kiss him, which was ever so much
sweeter.
An exchange says: "Thc persstency with
,yb; oh bo hn, O.
and catch nothing, is cqualed only by the man
who opens shop and fails to advertise"
French paper: Scene at the door Of the Euro
pean congress Russian to Turk: "Sce here, |
now, you know We are friends-treaty Of ALI. |
ance--complimentary kilograms exchanged, and
all that sort of thing. Smile, d-m you; look
cheerful or I'll lick you again.
A hint to housewives. If about to move into
another house, don't trouble yourself to clean
the one you leave. The wife of the next man
who moves in will declare it is not fit for hog
TO live in and will slop soap suds around all the
same, trying, we suppose, to make it fit for hogs
TO live in.
Spring poetry as conceived in forty.rod and
brought forth in agony by the Boston Post! {
The owlct blossoms as beneath the spray;
The sunflower scars in the stalwart sky
And the hazel nut sings on its wavy way. c
''Oh, never be CHEEKY or gloomy, or dry" II
The mutton-chop shricks in the pollywog's
eye.h IC
Ellsworth, Of the Lacon Jo,7tal, boldly affirms
his belief in hell, saying, ''In Montana lately
during an earthquake shock the ground opened
for five hundred yards clear down to the Devils I,
kitchen, from which strong smell of sulphur :,
emanated. This is conclusive" !,
Buffalo Express: "Mr Tweed was not the best :,
OF men" No, he was really not the very best
but you will admit, nevertheless, that when it i
came to going into pile of public plumber for
all it was worth, he was just about as good as 81
the best. "
The Yale College Committee to choose a song 81
from competitive productions said in circular: t.
THE song will be set TO music already written b
and the following stanza, from the ode at the
supper of the class Of 90, will serve as a model D
Of the metre required" The printer divided the 5,
last word in the second line of the sample verse is
Oh, bright and sweet the hour we meet, -,
Our fcstal rights be gin
Fill up, fill up the crystal cup!
Drop friendships pearl therein! &c.
"Ingersol says that the three last presidents S
have been ashamed Of their wives" If Mrs
Grant and Mrs. Hayes are not ashamed Of their
husbands, their husbands have right to be
ashamed Of such wives.
As was his inyariablc custom when deeply i'm -
pressed, Sam began to sing Pumblc joining in: =,
Jay-bird a-settn
On swingin' limb,
He wink at Stephen, Il
stephen wink at him. <
Stephen pint de gun;
Pull on dc trigger, a
Off 90 dc load I,
An down come dc Niger.
st. Nicholas u
The Joliet RptiJi'rH says the communists are