Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1878-03-13

I.>0-
anord TO take newspaper, mortpayed
MS house to buy,two more dogs.
a newspaper is the only instrument
wn'ch can drop the same thouoht
INTO thousand minds at the same
moment. o N''''
An Indiana editor SAYS: "Coal oil
rubbed on the neck and head, will cure
hog cho lera, We have tried it,
At printers festival lately the fol.
lowing toast was offered. "Woman-
Second to the press in the dissemination
of news"
It's the voice of the plumber: Won
near nm complain, 80, IT'S hotter than
summer; I'm going insane !"
Even if boy is always whistlipg. 81
want to be an angel" it is Just as we'll
to keep the preserved pears on the TOP
shelf of the pantry.
In reply to the question, "Will the
coming man be bald?" the Norristown
Herald attirms that "he generally is
when he first comes"
There are five preachers to one edi-
tor in the Kentucky penitentiary."
We hope no one will say that one editor
needs at least five preachers.-Boaon
Post.
A San Jose lady broke the nose of a
servant-girl, and had to pay 5000 for 1t.
Considering that the girl was kissing the
lady's defenseless husband at the time,
it was more than the miserable nose was
worth. -Bu6aIo Express.
Tobacco was named in honor of its
discoverer 0. G. Cabot, brother of Sc
bastian Cabot. They just spelled his
name backward.
Here is dialogue between two Bo-
hemians: "Would, O, would that | had
fifty thousand n year l know what 1
would do" What?' "Nolhing."
He was kind husband. and offered
to take his wife sleigh-riding. but when
SIZE got in she went through the bottom
of the sleigh. and he lay awake half the
night to hear her opinion about it.
Those men who expect minister to
give them $500 worth of grace for
$500 salary are the same who demand
local notices in their home paper for
nothing, and who do their advertising
on Novelty press hand-bills.
A little urchin in one of our schools
being asked, "What is Rhode Island
celebrated for?" replied, 1T is the only
one of the New England states which is
the smallest"
INvITATIoNs.-Archie--" See, old man,
how Pm hunted after; all those are in
vitations." Friend" Good gracious 1!
all invitations? Invitations TO what2"
Archie-"To call and settle their ac-
counts"
A stranger arrived in st. Louis, took
look at the city and shot himself. In
his pocket were found thirty-fve cents
and stub of a lead pencil, which caused
the coroner's jury to return q verdict:
chicago editor-couldn't stand pros.
perity. st. Louis paper.
The discovery has been made that
the world does not revolve with the
same momentum it did thousand
years ago, but it still swings around fast
enough to satisfy the man with heavy
note coming due.
An impatient boy, while waiting for
the grist at the mill, said to the miller,
F." | could eat the meal rs fast rs your
mill grinds it," How long could you
do so ?" asked the miller. It'll l was
starved to death" retorted the boy.
The principal of southern female
academy calls on the young men Of the
town to let his teachers alone! He says
every time one Of them gets fairly to
work some fellow comes along and mar
ries her.
Settling" Do you know" remark
ed a rather fast Newark youth, the
other day, to a suffering friend to
whom he was slightly indebted, "do
you know that l intend to marry and
settle DOWN. IL do-don't know any.
thing about it," was the reply, "bu-but
l think you had b-b-better stay single
and set-settle up"
BRIEF ANswERs.-A traveller interro-
eating a backwoodsman received brief
but pertinent answers, thus: "What
house is this? ?" "Moggs'" "Of what
built| Logs" "Any n0ighbors !"
Frogs "What is the soil?" "Bogs."
"The climate?" "Fogs." "What do
you live on?' Hogs" GLOW do you
catch them?' dogs"
A Guthrie county man owns kitten
with two well-developed heads. When
q man sits down and reflects that the
next generation Of cats may posses
double the facilities for making noctur-
nal noises that their fathers have, it is
enough to destroy all the theological
theories of the age.
A correspondent asks, What is the
best method of feeding cattle III winter
We don't exactly know. One man
might prefer to take the OK in his lap