The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1878-07-20
The Fat Contributor Takes a Friend to
the Inebriate Asylum.


The Fat Contributor" was in Utica
yesterday. He had been to Bingham
ton to take a Cincinnati friend, who
was an unfortunate victim of drink, to
the State Asylum for Inebriates. Girls
wold's description of his Binghamton
experience is touching. Said he: Aft
er stopping in BinghamtOn over night,
at the Exchange Hotel, we took car
riage and were driven to the asylum,
which is situated on a hill commanding
magnificent view of the city and val
ley beneath. The driver, as he held
the carriage door for us to get in, gave
me sympathetic tap on the shoulder,
and whispered hoarsely in my ear: If
yer anyways shaky this mornin' I've a
dhrop of whisky in me great coat-pock-
ct. Long time afore ye get another
chance, may be-"
No time to explain the mistake he
had made, SO | said nothing and the
man drove on. The road was muddy
and our progress necessarily slow, so
that people passing could take a long
stare at us. Singular, but they all
looked at me and shook their heads
sadly. Overheard one old lady remark,
as she gazed at me: "Poor man, |
fear there's no help for him. Too far
gone"
When we arrived at the institution,
man came down the steps and stuck
his head into the carriage window, gaz-
ing at my companion and then at me,
with a somewhat puzzled air. In a
moment, however, he nodded at me,
smiled kind of welcome, and said,
odd you suffer much from the jour
ney?" Then, turning to my friend, he
remarked, in lower tone, "Will he
come in quietly, or shall we need more
help?"
Scoring to explain the true condi,
ton of things to porter, for such he
was, | got out with my friend, and we
assembled the steps to hall, where q
number of distinguished inebriates
were assembled. As epassed through
heard one of them remark to another
nodding significantly at me, Tough
case, that" We entered the reception
room, and when the Superintendent
came he glanced hastily in and then
marched straight up to me with ex.
tended hand, saying, MY dear sir,
am glad to see you. | got your friend
letter and have been looking for you a
couple of days. How did you stand
the trip?h
Sir" said l, annoyed by these con
tinual blunders, q have come"
Eyes, | see you have come" cried
the Superintendent, briskly, land il
you hadn't | am afraid it would have
gone hard with you. But we will put
you on your feet again, never fear"
But you mistake me-" | said, with
injured dignity, q have brought
No matter what you brought" in
terrupted the Superintendent, "you
would not be able to drink any of il
here if you had brought barrel of it. -
Hang it, man. cried |, "let me eX
plain
"NO necessity for any explanation
nOw," said the Superintendent, cheer
fully. eve have had plenty of cases
just as bad as yours, so pray compose
yourself. If you feel like taking q
choral cocktail after while you car
have it, but you mustn't get agitated.'
| began to fume and swear, and
really believe they would have had me
in strait-jacket very soon had not my
friend whom | had brought there fol
treatment come to my rescue, and ex.
planned the true situation of things. Il
he had been maliciously inclined, he
might have left me at the asylum with
orders to keep me under close surveil.
ance for three months, gone back tc
town in the hack and had high old
time by himself. 1t was the narrowest
escape ever made in my life. And q
total abstinence man of four years
standing. Now, if any friend wants me
to take him to an inebriate asylum
again, he will have to go by himself
Utica Observer.