, 1878-04-17

cumstanCes.
The literary fecundity ofGermany con-
tinues undated. There were published
in 1877, 1925 different works, as against
1887 in 1876
lyon can't weigh au eel with scales"
"Cant!" said Smithers, "why not"
",Cause he hasn't got any scales," said
Dir. j. of Quincy Market.
"If you would succeed in this life, my
SON." said Tom Corwin, "be solemn,
solmen as an ass. All the monuments of
this world are built to solemn asses"
A disappointed young man says the
''averasc" shoemaker can frame more ex-
cuses in fifteen minutes than a picture
desler could supply frames for in two
weeks.
The Hartford Times says: Two young
men made wager this week to drink
SCHOONER" OF larger with tablespoon.
They both got sick before the glass was
half-emptied.
A woman in New York State has
named her triplets Tilden, Hayes and
wheeler Is this reconciliation, or doesn't
Mr. Tilden know anything about ita
Grace, Mercy and Peace!
"Och," said love-sick Hibernian,
what recreation it is to be dying OF
love! 1t sets the healt aching so delica-
tely there's no takin wink OF sleep for
the pleasure of the pain!"
The wheat product Of the leading coun.
tries of Europe:Russia produces 1906,
100000 bushels, Germany 745,5O0,OOO,
France 6S7, 500, 900, Austria $50, 100000
bushels. The United States produces /,
SS1 ,70O,925 bushels.
We find the following item in an Hi
nois paper: "Mr.-, who has been in re-
tirement for a few weeks after marrying
and burying three sisters. came mp smil-
ing to the altar again yesterday, having
begun on new family"
A young lady astonisbed party the
other day, by asking for "the loan OF
diminuive argentiious truncated cone,
convex on its summit, and semi-pertor-
ated with symmetrical indentatlons," or
in other words thimble.
With bowed head Uncle Sam stands
humiliated before all Europe, and all
because Stanley Matthews had to rush
into print and tell the world, without a
sign of blush, that President Hays ne
yer sowed any wild oats.
A few days ago very handsome wo
man entered dry goods house in New
York and inquired for a bow. The po-
lite clerk threw himself back and decla-
red that he was at her service. "Ycs,
but / want a.buf,not green one" was
the reply. The young man went on me
assuring goods Immediately.
"What should we do without the Ia
dies?" asked popular speaker at little
supper after u successful church fair.
"Have a stag.nation," responded lady
iu the party "And what would we do
without the gentlemanl" Dried another,
with the air of poser. "Have docna-
tion," responded the first without he 81
fancy.
All Portland has been exercised of late
over piece ofscandal in that city. Miro.
Anderson, a widow and the housekeeper
OF Rev. George Burton, who is married
man, one Of the leading clergymen OF the
Protestant Epicopal Church and princi-
pal of the Bishop Scott Grammar School
suddenly gave birth last week to a boun-
cling boy, the paternity of which she laid
to her reverend employer. He was hor-
rifed, denounced the charge as an effort
on her part to blackmail him, and denied
in the stoutest manner any guilt in the
premises. As the matter became public,
the press of the city gave 1t more ire
quent allusion, believers in the woman's
story became more numerous, his friends
became fewer, apd-he weakened. On
Monday last he not only confessed the
truth O. all hel assertions, but proceeded
to make her all the reparation in his
power. lie decided Mrs. Anderson two
lots worth thousand dollars and gave
her $3.50 In coin. OF course he Is ruined