The Hickman courier., 1878-09-13
PASSING SMILES.

by an accident NJ Ndpt MAY Hobtl
an empty champagne bottle was placed
at a guests table. Turning to the
waiter. he said, " did not order Ex-
tral Dry" The waiter saw through
t.--Philqdelphia Bulletin.
THERE is a young woman in Elmirs,
New York, with hair thirty-nine inches
long. If she was only a man; what
superb corn doctor she would make!
ali 4 man needs 10 make him probes
sional chiropodist ia long hair.
THERE is no picnic ant however lowiy,
That for livelihood must toll ard peg
But lifts the largest man up, grandly, slowly
When IL goes browsing up his trousers leg-
There is no little bee. however humble,
That gathers summer, s. swef ts lor WINE, Hloief
But has by rrodding with his tlny bumniei
Made srrsat men vrithe and howl and groan ana
swore. -BuriiHgfoH Hawkc1e.
Sidney SMITH condemns what he
calls the foppery Of univeTsality-of
knowing all sciences and exc ling IN all
arts" "Now, my advice hc says, on
the contrary. is 10 have the courage 10
be ignorant of great number OF things
in order to avoid the calamity Of being
ignorant of everything
" You want to brake on this road, do
you2 Well, you can -. down there
We have no vacancy Just AT present.
but we kill about two brakemen day,
aud I dare say in a few minutes ! shall
hear of some one losing an arm or leg
and then you can have the job The
man thought he wouldh't wait.
"DocroR, what DO YOU think is the
natter with my little boyP' Why
II only curruitified exegesis anti
spasnfdically emauating from the germ
OF the aimal refrigerator producing
prolific sotae of irritahility in the per
icraniisl ,epioa~mis Of the mental pro-
fundity." At that's what ] told
Betsy, but she 'lo',d it was wurrums"
THE man who turn his wages over to
his wife every week, is pretty near a
Mormon. He's Saturday saint at least.
-Ke0kiE Constitutions. The -uan who
trusts his wife sufficiently 10 to this,
has a safer bank than any savings 6auk
in the land, and preserves himself trou
the devil and the whisky bottle. There's
truth. wit. and poetry combined ~ this.
+ -Brcukf0st Tgbic
4 CHICAGO clergyman was aroused az
midnight last week 20 go and pray by
the bedside of a dying man. ON ascer-
tanning that the unfortunate being was
q director in a gas company, be said 70
the messenger: " Well, ] don't know
that there il any use in my goingi ltll
lust be a waste of good praying still, }
suppose, its my duty" and reluctantly
accompanied him.
IT is never best 20 be in too much OF
a hurry A young woman at Madison
vile, KY, who married an old man LOT
/ his money, lost all hope after two years
of welded life, and went heuce with q
rome around her neck. Immediately
after the funeral the old gentleman died
Of apoplexy. She could have raSed III
the pile by waiting "a couple OF days
-Breakfast Tatlf.
THE Arrow AND THE soNG.
shot an arrow into air,
Il fell % .arth, knew not where
For So swiftly Do flew. fhe sight
Gould not follow 60 iu los Ai ht.
] breathed n song into the air, N
Tt frll 10 ear b, ] knew not where.
For who has sight s0 keen aud sirougi
That it can follow he flight ol a1nGf
Long, long afterWard, In nn oak
1 found the arrow. sti uubrOke;
And the song from BEGINNING 20 end,
found agn In the heart Of a Trend.
THERE is a gentleman named John
w. Dooly. who lives near Braggville,
Jasper County, who not only runs Q
large plantation there, but is natural
horn poet of no mean pretensions. AZ
a proof of this, tenant, by the name OF
Mike Horn, called upon him recently Tor
an order on a MIR. Pcase, grocer, Ior
some corn. Dooley grabbed his pen"i
and without intending 70 be poeucal'
rapidly wrote: Mr. Pease, If you please
let Mr.. Horn have a bushel OF corn:
/ Charge the amount to my account, ana
in the fall III pay you all. Yours traiy'
John w. Dooly."
Ar one of the Whitehall Sunday
schools a teacher was instructing her
class about the prophets. She finally
nut the question, "Why don't we have
the prophets now 2" and asked the boy
who could answer it TO hold up his night
hand. A little hand of a siX-year OLD
oy quickly went up. Well, my little
man. why Is il we do not have prophets
now ?' " Because, ml'am, my papa says
that the times are 80 hard, and So many
men have gone into selling goods, that
profits are knocked higher'n Gilderoy
kite" The lad was Immediately pre-
sented with gum-drop, and told 10 90
out and play Whitehall Times.
WHEN a man enters the post-oiiice,
and sees a woman standing at the de-
livery, he braces up, smiles, and con-
cludes to wait patiently a few moments.
. If there are two women there, he sneaks
ND behind them and tries b. wink 10
the clerk TO get his mail. But when one
Of the women enters into conversation
with the official as to the reasons why
the magazine has not come, and how
/ long before it will be here, and II he u
sure he looked in the right box, the CIT
izen Jams his hat down over his eyes
and rides out of the post-oiiice lobby
in a way that would do credit 20 a pro
fessional pedestrian. The next day lac
negotiates for a lock-box.-RoD'e ~"
j