The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1878-06-29
Working Both Ways.

ton and her dearest friend, Anasthusi
Meakim, contract was made between tn
two couples-a contract entirely independ
ent Of that which, in the eye Of the law
they had made when each answered, /"
will" in reply to the somewhat inquistiv,
question put by the clergyman in regard t.
their future intentions as to supporting
loving, and honoring, each other. 1t wa
this: They bound themselves that if ont
family had son and the other daughter
that son and daughter, when they had ar
rived at q proper age, should become man
and wife. There was nothing so novel OIL
original in such an arrangement; if there
had been, the parties to the contract would
never have made it, for they were neither
novel nor original in any thing-they were
simply maudlin with romance, and this
covenant was merely the effect of which a
strict attention to novels, love tales, and
plays, was the cause.
So much by way of prolouge. Now for
our story.
Flipper and Clemmens had died full of
years and gout and rheumatism, and left
each large fortune to his wife. They had
each left as well child-Flipper daugh-
ter named Kitty Clemmens son named
Richard otherwise Dick. The old men
had forgotten long before their deaths all
about their agreement on the wedding-day,
but not so the mothers. They had been in
correspondence for the last five years about
nothing else. The children had now
reached their majority, and the mothers
were anxious for the contamination of their
plan.
Mother" said Dick, at the breakfast
table, there is no use in urging that girl
Kitty's suit, for l vow l will never marry
her."
" How do you know, my SOM You have
not seen her for twelve years, and you
might be delighted with her." returned Mrs.
Clemmens, coaxingly.
" know shouldn't" Dick said. "She
was a headed abomination when she
was child, and l am certain she's the
same now"
40, Richard |"
Gwen if she was as handsome as Hebe,
/ wouldn't marry her. I'd feel disgusted
the moment l met her, and so would she If |
she had any sense. We'd be introduced,
we'd look at each other, and say to our
selves And this is the person I've got to |
marry;' and then we would hate each |
other"
"Well, it seems to me, Dick, that YOU |
might at least wait until you do see each |
other, before you make up your mind. |
This is too sad," whined Mrs. Clemmens,
wiping her tears with her napkin, and not |
discovering her mistake until she rubbed |
some mustard into her blue orbs, which oc-
casioned the use of her handkerchief in |
good earnest, "just when thought had
such good news for you"
"What is the news?"
"Shes coming here"
"Who? Kitty Flipper?"
"Yes. received letter this morning
from her mother, saying Kitty would start
in day or two"
40, lor" groaned Dick. "You must
stop her." he said, seriously. "If she
comes, go. know what she'll be; a
stuck-up little mink, full of the French airs
she's acquired by studying abroad ten
years. She'll swear Mon Dieu' and ma
fol- and she'll talk about the naivette, and
her gaucherie, and her chici she'll speak
bad French in the present tense, indicative
mood, of the first conjugation, and she'll
commence all her questions with Es1er,'
and then stick like the young man at the
Nenerings' party. l sha'n't see her, that's
settled. Write to Mrs. Flipper (mellhuous
appellation y and say we are going on a
visit and don't know when we will return
or, better, go to town, see Mrs, F., explain
openly that I will never marry Frenchi-
fed wax doll, but that l want a wife who
knows how to keep house in order, can
cook, bake, preserve, darn, mend, sew, dust,
sweep, and, as the advertisements say, make
herself generally useful, In short, wo-
man like my respected maj and, so that
you may kill two birds with one stone, find
a cook who can cook, and fetch her back
with you"
An idea seemed to strike Mrs. Clemmens,
and she answered gaily: "Well, Dick,
every things for the best. If you won't
marry her, you won'tj so I'll do as you
say"
After breakfast she made hurried toilet
and took the first train to the city. To. |.
ward evening she returned with as pretty
piece of femininity as Dick had ever seen
withal. The dainty, curly-haired little
woman straightway went to the kitchen,
and then Mrs. Clemmens informed her son
hat she had made matters all right with
Mrs, Flipper, and that the pretty conglom-
grafton of muslin, curls, and pink and
white, was a new cook she had engaged.
"Ah" cry the intelligent readers, " you
can't deceive us the pink and white little
cook is Kitty Flipper, and the three women
have formed a scheme TO catch Dick una
,Vares Aud the intelli0ent raalerg arA