The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1878-12-19

Papa" said the five year-old daugh-
ter of West-side minister, "is the devil
an authorw "Well," replied the amused
clergyman, 81 should say he was-the au-
thor of good deal of mischief, any
way" "Not that, I don't mean" pur-
sued the little one, "but does he write
books?" "Not that ever heard of; at
least, not personally" was the reply !;
"but why do you ask ?" 20, nothing
only heard you say something to man.
ma;about the arorks of the devil"
- He came from the country, seven
years ago. and is now well.to-do mer.
chant. Last week ne wrote to the old
folks, telling them he had married a
lady with very fine voice-mezzo-
soprano of very extraordinary compass.
He received an answer from the maternal
! side of the house informing him that his
lamented aunt was afflicted with some
thing likerthat, and had found relief in
placing mustard plaster on the sole of
each foot, and drinking pint of dan
delion tea.
In Chicago the case of Mrs. J. An
derson, who has been on trial before
a Jury of the Trinity Methodist Church
for conduct unbecoming christian and
Methodist, and for renting ground to
he used as beer garden, was concluded
Thursday evening, and verdict was
rendered of guilty of both charges with
recommendation of forbearance on the
part of the church.
"A man of thirty dressed in sheep
skins trimmed with red flannel and
bearing an enormous blackboard in
scribed "I am the prophet Elias" recent
ly appeared in tho streets of Rye, Eng
land, declaring that he was one of the
tribe of Levi and must journey from
town to town fulfilling his mission and
saving the human race.
"Why is it," asked young upstart
of a gentle maiden of thirty-five, "why
is it that elderly maidens have pen
chant for cats % "Oh that is easily
answered." responded the maiden "not
having man to caress, they naturally
bestow their affections on the next grade
of animals in the scale of deceitfulness." !"
Smarty collapsed.
At a wedding recently, when the
officiating priest put to the lady the ques-
ton, "Wilt thou have this man 10 be
thy welded husband?" she dropped the
prettiest courtesy, and with modesty
which lent her beauty an additional
grace, replied, eff you please"
A class was being examined recent
ly in a town in Texas The subject un-
der discussion was the food. Among the
first questions put was, GLOW did Noah
understand that there was going to be a
hood?" "'Cause," shouted an urchin,
she looked at his almanac !"
The small boy ofto-day doesn't look
up to George Washington and Benjamin
Franklin az examples. No; he thinks
his big brother, who lights cigar in the
house, goes out any time, and returns
when he feels like it, is good enough
example for him.
"A doctor went out for days hunt
ing, and on coming home complained
that he hadn't killed anything. THAT'S
because you didn't attend to your legiti-
mate business" said his wife.
= No matter how good.natured a man
may be, he will invariably get mad when
he discovers that there is no towel in the
room, and he is compelled to dry his face
on the bed-quilt.
- If you want to hear q man tell
well-developed, full-grown flo, just poke
your head in a store door and ask change
for five dollar bill.
"Ma," said little urchin, peeping
beneath the bed-clothes, II am cold
| want more cover on the bed" "Lie
still, my DEAR" said the mother, "until
your sister comes home from church she
has got the comforter in her hustle"
Il don't like to talk much with
people who always agree with me. 1t
is amusing to coquet with an echo
little while, but one soon tires of it.
- Nothing does so fool man as ex-
treme passion. This doth make them
fools which otherwise are not, and show
them to be fools that are not.
- 1t is regarded in Washington IS
settled that no movement to repeal the
resumption act will be made, and if made
will nOtshe successful.