Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1878-01-04
ALL SORTS.

Hard to beat-A boiled egg.
1t is hard winter for snow poets.
"A scapegrace-A man late at din
ner.
-Apuzzled pupil-A bewildered eye
sight.
What tax hurts nObodyP-Taxi-
dermy.
-"Put your lips on ice" is the latest
slang.
"A rum crowd-Toper-graphical en-
gineers.
The trial is not fair where affection
is judge.
Vows made in storms are forgotten
in calms.
The courts of Wisconsin annul the
Utah divorces.
"A good thing to put in practical
young lawyer.
Home weddings are most fashiOna-
BILE these days.
Pottery parties are the rage among
the first families.
How to raise beets-Take hold Of.
the tops and pull.
-Camers hair ulsters are in style for
ladies to travel in.
How is it that the ropes never break
in lynching case?
Texas would make 210 States equal
in size to Rhode Island.
If you want to get a sure crop and
big yield, SOW wild oats.
Melancholy trees-The S0eeping-
willow and the pineapple.
The ties that connect business men
with the public-Advertise.
Chicago has 1000 able-bodied citi-
zens who want to be policemen.
Why is the letter A like honey
suckle? Because a B follows it.
He that tears away mans good
name tears his flesh from his bones.
Blondes are out of fashion; even
dolls have dark brown hair and eyes.
An enraged man tears his hair, but
an enraged woman tears her husbands.
Boston girls of bric-a-brac sort
are painting ceramic things on bean
pots.
Mrs. Cooney, of Staffordsville,
Conn, has thrice had twins in four
years.
"A family in BELLEVUE, Wis, drank
water from barn-yard well and died
of typhoid fever.
Mexico claims a possible force of
1870, 900 men with which to fight our
possible 5,000,000.
Why is the earth like Blackboard
Because the children of men multiply
upon the face of it.
Although blacksmith is forger,
you cannot fairly call him a thief be-
cause he nails shoes.
in the high-hat trade there is usu-
ally between seasons gap, or sort of
high atus, so to speak.
What proof have we that there was
sewing in the time of Davidg He was
hemmed in on every side.
Though men boast of holding the
reins, the women generally tell them
which way they must drive.
For the matrimonially inclined: If
YOU cannot marry the girl you want,
take the girl that wants you.
A hog in Texas has been discovered
with only one hoof. Up this way hogs
always have two legs, at least.
A young housekeeper, when her
attention was called to very dusty
chair. remarked: Nobody has sat
down on that to-day"
-Elnora: Both of your poems are
wrong in meter, and we think that you
win discover that two wrongs don't
make one write-poetry.
The wife of Joseph Myan, of Chi
cago, eloped with her sisters husband.
The question with Joseph is: "Where
is that wife of MyanP' ...
Matt Carpenter is called the most
brilliant pleader before the U. 5. Su-
preme Court, and has the most lucra-
tive practice-$50, 900 to 100000 ayear.
Twas ever thus; from childhood's hour
We've seen our fondest hopes decay
The FIRE went out, the batter's sour
We can't have buckwheat cakes to-day
st LOtfis Journal
"A Young man sent sixty cents to a
firm in Michigan that advertised rec
ipe to prevent bad dreams. He re-
ceived a slip of paper on which was
written: Don't go to sleep"
Recent improvements in coffee-pots
are so extensive that cooks will be re-
auired to serve an apprenticeship under
the direction of a competent professor
of engineering - Worcester Press.
MAYBE they did "haye giants in
those days," but they couldn't have
looked any bigger than free-born
} American citizen feels when he's in a
} procession. Cincinnati Breakfast Ia
bic.
"A Connecticut Jonathan, in taking
a walk with his dearest, came to toll
bridge, when he, as honest as he was
wont to be, said, after paying his own
toll (Which was one cent?; Come,
Suke, you must pay your own toll, for
list as like as not l sha'n't have you,
after all.
As society is now constituted there
T, is little use of trying a classical eduea-
tion on the average American girl.
The Young man who holds her hand on
; sunday night, after the old folks are
zone to bed, will soon make her Latin
: and Greek look very sick.-Andrel0S'
! Bazaar.
For the First Reader: Do you see
= that aged manp He is almost seventy
wears old. Do you suppose he is very
= richP Yes, he is. Once he was poor
: boy. He has worked hard all his long
. life. He will not live much longer.
: After he is dead his son will play polo.
e -Courier-JOurndt.
| A tramp who called at j. G. Smiths
e door at Stamford, Conn, the other
d night, was an angel IN disguise. Smith
q and his wife got out of bed to answer
v the call, and while they were gone q
q mass of plastering fell upon the bed
t, which would probably have killed them
a hoth II they had been in 1t,