Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1878-03-09

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c-ns'eIsang al nc~sPAsers IN America To
ADJUST tie with OF their columns u the
gauge of the Marx Twain scrap BOOK.
The ancient C.rthAgenians used leather
m"bey. s. that every tim- m itate old
parent Kicked his prospective son-in-lsw
of the moon LIT stoop ut II rs p. n. he
gave the young man about Gil. But the
young Carthagenian rarely appreciated
she gift.
We came across an old hunting song
the o,hcr day, and the refrain ran: "The
hunter winds his mellow horn, tira-la,
tir4.ia, tira-is, Ia" Wretchedly poor i'm.
itation. 1t should read to keep up with
the times, "The hunter winds his mellow
horn. guggIety, gugglety, glug, glug
gldg."
"DoN'T, remarks newspaper moralist
"don't be constantly reminding your
wife of her faults" And as we gaze upon
the sea of bald heads that glisten in the
gas light at church or theatre, we can't
help thinking that the philosopher should
have started out with that advice about
tweniy-tw" years ago.
The dramatic critic of the New York
Star says shakespeare was not dramstist
and was a most conscionsble literary
thief" Yes2 Now, do you know we have
ourselves for long time suspected that
Shakespeare stole all of his jokes and
most of his good situations and dramatic
incidcnts from.the HxwKEYE7
A VICKsBURG negro fell from the deck
of Il Steamboat the other day, was sucked
under u coal barge, came'up in time to
catch his breath before he slid under
raft mile long. and finally scrambled
ashore down at Warrentown, about seven
miles below, with the remark, mo use
tryin', ye KANT drown . deep water
BAPTISM
THE prettiest curiosity at re-
cent baby show was yearling baby
with q bonnet that wasn't big enough
for the court house cupola. II
came within eight or ten inches, indeed,
Of fitting the baby, but it is understood
that the incompatible artist who de-
signed it, expired with the effort. Awe
struck Cllristendom would kncel in voice.
less wonder at the feet of baby with q
perfectly fitting bonnet.
Mr.. SAMUEL JOHNSON spoke in Boston,
We have them out West, Mr.. Johnson.
Broad; thick; tough; sometimes hob
nailed; always square-t0ed. They are
culture itself. They will raise anything.
We have seen them raise . young man,
weighing one hundred and thirty-nine
pounds, twenty mine inches from the
ground, as easily as derrick, just be-
cause he came to see the wrong mans
daughter.
ONE of the tallest men in America 10
said to be MIR. Henry-Thurston, Of Titus
county, Texas. They say he can actually
stand fat-footed on the ground and
and-well, we've forgotten what it is that
he can actually stand fst.footed on the
ground and do, but you will readily con-
ceive that il is "something similar TO
~ha, you have never seen done before"
~htn you are told that he has protruded
up~ ard u the altitude Of seven feet and
. half. n.rnum wanted TO hire him once
q" travel with his show ~ . sky -esrping
ethno'ogical Phenomenon, OF something
al that sost, that 1ould make 9 dazzling
display IN . poster, bat Mr.. Thurst"n a.
s1rsd him thSt bis tslloess ~as no, tn be
ehrosn apag the MARKET % speeaAa-
t'on N that SAY. and declined 10 travel.
Mr. Ihafsts'n wa< . soldler IN the Goa
f-~tsrxie army, and oaght % have bra
nc1 asrd &c ~heel. asd Used as . mos-
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