The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-12-26
EVERYDAY sPICERIEs.

"BE careful how you punctuate the
stoye.n is the latest. 1t means not to
put too much, colon.-P Pittsburg Dispatch.
TREAD not in crooked paths. Deceive
not in the secrecy of your house. Rec
tify your own hearts that you may i'm
prove others.
THERE are many things that are
thorns to our hopes until we have at
tanned them, and envenomed arrows to
our hearts when we have.
IT is lamentably less than pleasant
when a iourneyman barber takes hold of
your nose, and you are compelled to sus-
pect that he has had hand in grave
robbery.-Stantord ADVOCATE
The scientific journals are greatly
exercised over color blindness, but we'd
like to see just one man in this country
who'd mistake 6ve-dollar gold piece
| for nickel.
THE man who can look the red-haired
landlady calmly in the eye and converse
about the prospects for sleighing, while
he draws long hair of q deep auburn
shade from the butter, is hero.-Syrd-
c,sse Sunday Times.
| The chewer who throws away fresh
quid at sight of an old apple barrel in
| front of a grocery, and then finds wire
screen over the barrel, has only reached
the first milestone in the journey OF
life Detroit Free Press.
| A SMART scholar had this question
put to him by an inspector: Well,
my boy, do you know what 'syntax
} meansq' The child of teetotaller an
swered: Yes, sir-the duty upon
spirits"
The Illinois juryman thinks the La
borer is worthy of his hire. Recently a
jury refused to give up its verdict un-
less the fees were paid. The fees were
not on hand, so the verdict will never be
known, as the jury had to be discharged.
If the graves were riAed in the inter
ests of science, people wouldn't mind it
so much. That is, if the average med
, iicai student learned anything in the dis
] secting-room, people wouldn't begrudge
: the young man a body now and then
: ut-.-Albdny argus.
WHY is it that man who arrives at
!. the depot just three seconds too late
!; don't give up gracefully, but chases the
I train until he gets redder In the lace
than ever, stubs his toe, spraiEs his
ankle, loses his hat, and has to sit dowr
!; and open his shirt collar in order to pre-
! vent a stroke of appoplexy ?-BrookviR'
Democrat.
y KELLOGG has the right of il. Sh'
+ says the songstress or actress who mar
: ries gets fellow to spend her money
= and allows herself to die in poverty
q Emira Advertiser. Miss kellogg is to,
= severe. There are hundreds of men, W
\ are convinced, who would guarantee t.
,s give her at least third of her earnings
/ -Bufalo Erpress.
M WE saw man, the other day,
~ Who never yet--strange thing 10 say
Is With wistful gaze has looked upon
r. Another's wealth, who neer was known
:. To utter OATH in wrath to cry
ie Who never told cen whiiest lie.
4 This man, by the way,
u' We'd forgotten to say,
y From birth deaf mute,
ID Is stone-blind TO boot
~ --Boson TIanscripf
AREvEREND gentleman residing in
neighboring town has the misfortune
own a SON who is addicted to drinl
The other night, when the family ha
as retired to rest, the son returned home
he his usual condition. When the clerg,
de man opened the door to his graceless ol
in spring, he exclaimed: Drunk agail
nd Henry; drunk again" "All righ
y. father" replied the staggering repr'
en- bate, SO am !"
as IT is splendid thing to have con
ne mand of language that can rise to an
y I'M emergency and depict any situatio
" Speaking about the recent floods Il
re Kalamazoo Telegraph feels this Wa
an about it: "But let such look at the Q
|, de mospheric antics elsewhere. Now,
ne the East the uxorious rivers, fushe
,ts with pluvian forces, leave their channe
ol and overflow their banks, bearing aw;
10 bridges, inunduating lands, and sprea
IN. ing devastation, unmindful of the ru
La Ias wrought to mans possessions.
10 THE Court of Queens Bench,
as Quebec, has Just decided that If a mi
an frightens another to death he is gull
in of manslaughter. 1t is to be hoped tn
.se court will now tackle the question th
agitates magistrate in New Cast
England. A boy threw a stone at
II dog; the dog ran and knocked down
~, man with bale of goods ON his shot
ns rs der, and the package broke plate gli
~ - window. Now, who is to pay for t
~ ~ window, the boys father, the owner
= os the dog, or the carrier of the goods?
ev. LITTLE girl" Papa, in spelling y-e
of l-you-the 90 is silent, isn't it
A." Papa" Yes, my dearp' Little girl
Dor "Then what is it good fort" Papa
of "Nothing, my childp Little girl
MP. ".Oh, that can't be, or they would
las, spell it with an o. think know n
ap, what they put in the silent letters +
an You see if they didn't put 'em in
de little girls wouldn't have to go to scho
six 1t would be too easyi The words wor
red spell themselves, and we'd know
oop about it, without asking the scho
lull man."
cat HARRIET HosMER s new motor, VIII
nts, ever it may be, is not the only one OF
nth inventions. She has made a machine
nee which musicians can turn the leaves
iese their own music without interrupts
be She is also the disceverer of a process
t it making marble out of common lii
ress. stone, by means of steam pressure.
has made new modelling material
in plaster of Paris and white wax, said
the be far superior to clay. But the m
are netic motor she regards as the crown
$50. invention of her life. She is now hay
for four-horse power machine made. \
Co.. IIos,oar,as b;oh character il toox- =