New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1878-07-10

The baby opened its blue eyes wider
than any man who never owned a baby
would have believed it possible, and star
ed at Mr.. Thumbledirk with an express
sion of alarm. and a general lack of con-
fidence that boded a distressing want Of
harmony in all further proceedings. Mr..
Thumbledirk viewing. these signs of
Carelessness with inward alarm, conciev-
ed the happy idea that the baby needed
change Of position. So he stood it up
on its feet. s
It is unnecessary to tell any neither Of a
family that by the execution Of this ap-
pareDtly very simple movement, the I'M
happy man had every thread of that
babys clother under its arms and around
its neck in an instant. A general out
suppressed giggle went around the room.
Mr.. Thumbledirk blushed. redder and
hotter then ever, and the astonished baby,
after one Mortified look at its strange
guardian, whimpered uneasily.
Mr.. Thumbedirk, not daring to risk
the sound of his voice, would have dane.
ed the baby up and down, but its little
legs bent themselves into such appalling
crescents the first tin e he let the cherub's
weight upon them, that the wretched
man knew in his heart of hearts that he
had forever and eternally most hopelessly
!" bowed" them, and felt that he could
never again look a bow-legged man in,
the face without spasm of remorse.
AS for meeting the father Of this beau
tiful boy, whose life he had blighted
with pair OF crooked legs-never, he
would face death itself first. And in
coming years whenever he met this boy
waddling to school on pair of legs like
ice-tongs, he would gaze upon them as
his own guilty work, and would tremble
lest the wrath of the avenging gods
should fall upon him.
Alarmed at the gloomy shadows which
these distressing thoughts cast over Mr..
Thumbledirk's face the baby drew itself
up into knot and walled. Mr.. Thum-
bledirk balanced it carefully on his
hands and handled it, for all the world
as he would Z" hett'' a watermelon. In
stantly the baby Strengthened itself out
with such alarming celebrity that the tor
tured dry nurse cought it by the heels
just in time to save it from falling to the
floor.
SHE'LL kill that child YETI said the
gloomy woman who talked bass, and
Mr. Thumbledirk felt the blood curdle
in cold waves III his veins. By this time
the baby was screaming like calliope,
and the noise added inexpressibly to Mr..
Thumbledirk's confusion and distress.
He would have trotted the baby on his
knee, but the attempt occasioned too
much comment. The fat, woman with
the market basket said: #
"Oh-h, the little dear!'
And the short, pretty woman snapped
her eyes and said.
'Oh-h-h! how cruelw
And the woman in the black bomba-
zine, and the woman in the sun bonnet
said:
''Oh-h-h just look at him!' m
And the woman who talked bass said,
in her most sepulchral and penetrating
accents
"The mans a fool" 5,.5
And the baby itself, utterly ignoring
the fact that Mr.. Thumbledirk was la
boring in its own interests, threw all the
instructions it could in the way of furth-
er proceedings by alternately ,straighten-
ing itself out into an abnormal condition
ofsuch appalling rigidity, that Mr.. Thum-
bledirk was obliged to hold its head tight
ly in one hand and its hee's in the other,
and then suddenly doubling itself up. into
go small aeknot that the poor man han to
hold his two hands close together, like a
bowl, and hold the baby as he would d
pint of sand, and these transitions from
one extreme to the other, were made with
such startling rapidity and appalling sud-
denness, that Mr.. Thumbledirk had to be
constantly on the alert, aud his arms
ached so, and he exhibited such signs of
fatigue and distress that the depot police
man looked in osay to him that if he
was tired out, he would send in section
hand or the steam shovel to give him a
spell. 8.
1t seemed to NJ. Thumbledirk that he
never heard somuch noise come from so
small baby in his life. The more he
turned it around and tossed it about the.
more its cloak and dress, and skirts and
things became entangled around its neck,
and now and then mass of drapery
would get on the baby's face and stif1e its
cries for second, but the noise would
come out stronger than ever when the
tossing little hands would tear away the
obstruction. And the louder the baby
screamed the faster the vigorous fat legs
flew kicking in every direction. like
crazy fly-wheels with the rim off. Some
times Mr.. Thubledirk made as high as q
as hundred and eighty grabs . minute
40 2 49, s5