The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1878-08-03
OTTAWA FREE TRADER; SATURDAY. AUGUST g. 1878.


!. Come to answer the advertisement" said
Miss PAMELA radiantly SHOW HIM into the
parlOr, Joanna, and tell him III be down di
rectly."
She settled her crimps once again, pinned a
petite ribbon bow in her back hair gave hcl
ioerhcad farewell dab with II powder puff
and read oyer for the last time, a para
graph in that mornings paper which ran us
follows
WANTED-By young lady Of education and cX-
pericnce, position rs Housekccpcr to a gentle
man of means. No trifers need apply to Miss p,
No. 30 Nixon Street.
Dear me- SAID Miss Peppermint, how
my heart ilutters-for surely this is II crisis in
my life. How often does a hosuckeeper eventu-
ally become something nearer and dearcr to Il
gentleman Of susceptibility and appreciation
| hope he is fond of poetry"
She crossed the threshold with ii tripping
step. To her surprise, the apartment was
empty.
"Where is he, JOANNA" said she looking
around in dismay.
please ma'am,' faltered the maid, II think
he's m escaped lunatiC-tOr he's walking all
around the back kitchen, and perrin into the
stationery wash tubs, and muttcrn' to hssef
like everything"
| al Sdiu 4h 100 WIN SullS-
fled smile Every natuarl, quite So He
means to find out what kind of practical
hOusekecper | am. A.hem. here he comes
Run, Joanna, there is stoveblacking on the
bridge of your nose and a hole in your stock
| ing A.hem Please to walk ms ir," to the mid.
dlc.aged gentleman, who appeared on the thresh
| old, with his spectacles tipped over the bridge
of his nose. and his umbrella carried javclin
fashion, under his arm. a have the pleasure
of addressing"
"My name is Jones, said the gentleman
brusquely. "You are the lady Who"
"Who advertised? Yes" said Miss Pepper.
mint, with Il smiling inclination Of her head
"1'hen | wonder at you" enuncated Mr.
Jones.
"Sir" said Miss Peppermint
GAS Old AS the hills" SAID Mr. Jones "all
out of repair. Fifty years old at the very
least"
"Sjr!' calculated the lady, more astounded
than ever.
Truth is truth" SAID the gentleman Not
even deccntly painted"
"PaintedF' gasped Miss Peppermint, instnc
lively remembering the pearl powder
"Rheumatickay, and full flever and aguen'
theoretically added Mr. Jones But forty
dollars MONTH"
"only twenty" said Miss Peppermint,
family"
81 wouldn't consider the question at any
price," roared Mr.. Jones. "a tumble-down
old ruinw
"Sir you insult me" cried the spinster
bristllng up.
Then, madam, you shouldn't obtrudc your
damaged wares before the public"
81 was never so abused before IN my lifcr'
faltered Miss Peppermint wringing her hands
offs UiUb tImp gpmpIply snnlyn ha truth ~
said Mr.. Jones
Leave the house, slrw said Miss Pepper
mint
"And welcome said Mr. Jones, putting his
hat belllgcrcntly on the side Of his head, and
shouldcrng his umbrella like a bayonet
"But first let me give you little advice
The next time you have house to let"
"But haven't any house to LETT, indignant
ly interposed Miss Pamela.
"Eh ~ said Mr.. Jones
"And never had, added the lady breathlessly.
Isn't this house to let?"
Eyes, but it isn't mine, and I've nothing to
with it,"
you said you advertised"
$50 ] did" said Miss PAMELA, with Difficult
ty keeping back her hysterc tears But |
wanted position as housekeeper, and"
The middic.aged bachelor stood aghast, the
full horror of his situation gradually breaking
upon him.
Madam he said II beg your PARDON
"Slri" sad Miss Peppermint, there has
been misiortunate misapprehension all
around"
81 was abiding to the house, ma'um, when
used those unfortunate nd Electives" explained
Mr.. Jones II hope you don't think, ma'am,
that could apply them to II lady,"
81 am solitary female" said Miss Pepper
mint, retiring behind her handkerchief and
find myself compelled to earn my bread in a
gentecl way. You couldn't recommend me
to any single gentleman in want of a capable
housekeepcr could yOu?"
,'No-no ma'am, | couldn't that is just at
present" stammcred Mr.. Jones, But if /
hear of one ! will certainly let you know
Good-morning."
Aid he bolted out of the door in state of
cold perspration.
what fool I've been" said he to himself,
as he strobe along the windy April streets
wiping his forehead with red silk handker
chief. "l'll go back to Mrs budgets aud en-.
gage my rooms there tor the next ten years"
And so he did.
Nobody answered Miss Pamela's advetise-
ment no one rented the desirable mansion No
90 Nixon Street
MIR. EllicOtt, the real estate agent, declares
that business is duller than ever and Mrs.
Budget the clearinghouse keeper says to
her daughter:
Whatever has come to Mr.. Jones, don't
know, but he's rs docile AS a lamb, and hasn't
found fault with his roast joints in a month"
Wonders will never cease" says Miss
Budget devoutly.
MINNIE wARREN's DEATH.
Major Newell's Wife and General Tom Thumbs