The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1878-11-28
HOGS AND NATIONAL BANKS.
A Pointed and Pleasant After Election stor

A Pointed and Pleasant After Election Story
Carl Sohurz is claimed as the eloquent
advocate, who, defeating GOss and Say
ler, carried Ohio for the Republicans
This reminds us, as the late facetious
Mr.. Lincoln used to say, Of little story
that Tom Hamer, of Ohio, was wont to
tell of case he had where man was
charged with hog.stealing The case
was clearly proven, and when it went
to the jury Tom was indisposed to say
a word.
"Don't give it up, don't give it up"
whispered his client.
"But can say nothing" replied the
poor attorney.
But you must. Get up and yowl-
boiler, holler, man, or I'm lost, and /
won't pay you id cent"
Thus instgated, Tom rose gravely and
astonished the Court by grave disser-
tation on the law of forcible entry and
detainer. Then, turning to his jury, he
gave them a discourse on the nature and
habits of hogs. He called attention to
the prohibition of God, through Moses,
of hog meat as an article Of food. He
told how our Savior put the devil that
afil cted the poor man into the swine,
and the swine ran down a steep place
and were drowned. Tom asserted, how
ever that all were not drowned, but
some escaping, gradually extended the
breed of damned hogs-"fOr," said TOm
"if they are possessed of the devil, they
must be damned"-untll all the hogs Of
earth had devils in them.
"Let any man owning Corn.feld or a
garden-patCh answer" demanded lila.
mer. "Is there a fence that will turn
damned hog, gentlemen of the juryP l
say not one. 1t will find hole if there
is one; if not, it will make one. 1t rat
ties down bars and lifts gates off their
hinges. l have known hogs climb fen
ces; yes, gentlemen, Chamber up and fall
down, but always fall on the garden side.
The devil teaches them anatomy, gentle
men, for who ever heard of a hog falling
on his snout? He always comes down
on his rump, with a grunt; that is, a
mingled expression Of surprise and sat
isfaction. When a damned hog-re'
member. gentlemen that / quote scrip
ture; am not profane-when, say, a
damned hog gets under your buggy he
does not run out Of the way like SEN
sible Christian animal; he, on the con
trary, goes TO backing and getting under
every leg of the horse and wheel of the |
buggy, until the one is broken and the
other thrown down. Now, gentlemen, | |
put it to you: suppose my client did kill,
under the mistaken notion that they |
were his, six of those creatures de
nounced by the Almighty, is he to BE-
held up as a malefaCtor and punished by |
imprisonment? But deny, gentlemen,
that it has been proven. He is innocent.
The prosecuting attorney smiles. 1t is a
swinish smile, gentlemen, and makes
me ashamed of him."
Hamer sat down with a round of ap-
plause from the buColiC by.standers,
while bis client winked at the jury, In
the due course of legal forms the jury re-
tired, and soon returned with a verdict
of mot guilty"
swell, III be d-d as we'll as the
hogs" exclaimed Hamer, IF can un-
derstand it,"
"You can't, eh ?" exclaimed the hog.
thief; "well 1 can. Eleven of the jury
had some of the bacon"
Mr., Schurz was very eloquent on the
financial issues of the canvass, but the
money contributed by the National
Banks and Office holders secured the
Piatt.