Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1878-02-15
HuiriOr.

The four daughters Of York state
man. named Pint9, are known n half IL
gallon o 'lasses.
" No, ma'am, said grocer to IN APP
plicant for credit wouldn't even
trust my own feelings
Silence is not always golden. The oys-
ter is continually getting into broils and
stew3.-N ew O,kans Picayu1lc.
Why is the money you're in the habit
Of giving to the poor like ncwly-born
babe? Because it's precious little.
An editor publishing long leader on
hogs, Il rival paper in the same village
upbraids him for obtruding his family
matters upon the public.
" Didn't you guarantee that that horse
wouldn't Shy before the discharge Of \
cannonY Yes | did, and Ill stick to
il. He never Sine. until after the can
non is fired"
:" Six feet in his boots exclaimed
Mrs. Darlington. what will the inn
pudcncc Of this world come to, won
DER Why. they might as well tell me
the man had six heads III his hat.
Washington didn't object to titles.
" His cxcellenCy" always seemed to
please him: but could he sec the mon
ument that is erected for him nc would
be Disguised with his cmincnce. -Sdt-
urctay Night.
Great quantities u clothespins are
shipped from the United States to New
Zealand The life of clothespin in
New Zealand must be sluggish exist
cnce.-Daabury Ncips.
Young men,, says the Worcester
Press, " should pattern after pianos-bc
square, upright, grand. But should
never B-nat enough to permit them
selves to be played upon. - Non9stoan
Hcr0H
lIurrnk. hurrrah" cried II young
lawyer, who succeeded to his fathers
practice, I've settled that old lawsuit
III last" Settled it," exclaimed the
astonishcd parent, Why, we've sup
ported the family on that for the last
ten years
1t is said to he fact that II snoWlcss
winter is usually followed hy a very
unhealthy summer: but the boy who
escapes shovcling snow OIL the side
walks is willing To take the chances ul
being victim Of an unhealthy summer.
An exchange plaintiycly inquiries why
little men will be silly enough to marry
big women The only answer we can
possibly give to the connndrum is, Be
cause big women are sily enough to
marry little men. 81. Louis Jomnai.
A Roscyilc man went home the other
night and tenderly kissed his wife.
When she recovered somewhat from
her establishment, she realized the un-
happy truth and wept copiously. The
Roseyillc man was us tight ~ 4 brick,
Pat had been engaged to kill Il turtle
for neighbour, and proceeded immcdl-
atelv to cut of its head. Pats atten-
ton was called to the fact that the turtle
still crawlcd about, though il had been
dccapitatcd, and explained; Sure the
haste il entirely dead, only he i not yet
conscious Of ii.
Two very fat men made room be-
tween them for one very lean man,
recently, ina crowded street-car Gen.
tlcmen," said the lean man, pleasantly,
rs lie sat down, il is agreeable, indeed,
10 meet two such well bread persons.
You have mustered up considerable
room between you, of which ! shall use
butter little. Thanks" Then everybody
in the car bowed their heads and wept.
An Irish couple. 4 few evenings since,
1T about nine O'Clock, rang the door bell
OF one Of the Protestant parsons Of our
city. The door was opened by the cler-
gyman, who, on lnquiring what they
wanted, was informed by Michael, that
he and Bridget came to be married,
" But why, asked the parson, don't
you 80 to the priest 4 And sure We
did said Michael, "and he told u 10
50 to the divil, and 50 wc came to YOU.
The mother-in-law finds defender
in the San Francisco Mail which says:
"sf old Adam had had mother-in-law
to look after him and his wife, it is more
than probable that to this very day We
might have been able to capcr about IN
the light and airy costume Of our first
parents
The Worcester Press know, the tall
cst man in the United States" hut re-
fuses To give lis his name. 10 get even
with the Press we may state that we
know the shortest man III the United
States, but we withhold his name III
hopes that some day he will be able to
pay us the dollar he borrowed two years
age NmriSiolrl Herald.
nSn,uu pnshn.S Wic.