The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1878-05-23
WIT AND HUMOR,

SOUND conclusion-An echo.
STUoK,UP people-BiIl- posters.
HE rock of ages-The cradles.
COMING to blows-The fruit trees.
A MAN may make bis i in visible. and
yet see it.
A SPRING opening is advertised in
travelling bags.
TRIAL trip-The journey from the
station-house to the courtroom.
DoN'T argue with a fool, or the listen
ers will say there is pair of you.
THE man who ran SO hard as to catch a
cold has been troubled with his sneeze
ever since.
THANK goodness there is one place
where prosperity is still to be found
in the dictionary.
IT seems as if tie crippled soldiers
ought to have something to say about
the Southern walk-lames.
CAN cash for railroad damages come
under the catalogue of musical terms,
because it is harm money!
IT is pleasant thing to see roses and
lilies glowing upon young lady's cheek,
but bad sign to see mans face break
out in blossoms.
QUESTION for debating society ''If
a man has tiger by the tail, which
would be the best for his personal safe
ty-to hold on or let goa"
BhOAR, who offered to stake his repu-
tatiOn, was considerably taken aback bv
being asked to bet the drinks on some
thing that was of known value.
WHEN man is discovered reading his
newspaper in the barn, it is safe to con-
clude that the carpet FOUNDER and the
white washer are abroad in the house.
A CONTEMPORARY asks why BcucicauIt
does not place some powerful compost
ton before the critics. Certainly!
Bring out the Limburger cheese, Dion.
SAID an Iowa man to German tour
list: viii you go to Cedar Falls before
you return % "Yaw," replied Myn-
heer; CT will go to see der falls of Nj
agara."
"THERE are people who live behind
the hill" is an old German proverb,
which means that there are other folk
in the world besides yourself, although
you may not see them.
DE big sunfower may rise above
De modest 'tater vine,
An brag about its Sunday clothes,
An put on airs fine;
But when de winter bowls around,
An de snow lies at de doah,
De big sunhower, oh whar am he?
De later hez de foah
MEETING baker. friend exclaimed
Hello Have you been away?" The
baker, who was afflicted with cold in
the head, replied: "Dough, yes. I
have Just cub frob the (y)east, where 1
was raised"
ct WAS not aware that you knew him."
said Tom Smith to an Irish friend the
other day. "Know him p said he in
tone which comprehended the knowl-
edge of more than one life. CT knew
him when his father was boy"
CA11No has the misfortune to lose his
wife. He orders to be engraved upon
her tombstone the single word :'Re-
grets." "Why," said the stone-cutter
to him, do you not say eternal re-
grets ?" "Can't do it." said Calino;
I only rent the lot in the graveyard for
five years
In recent case for assault. the de-
PENDANT pleaded guilty. ct think I
must be guilty" said he, "because the
plaintiff and I were the only ones in the
room; and the first thing I knew was
that was standing up. and he was
doubled over the table. You'd better
call it guilty"
The flowing reporter who wrote, with
reference to well-known belle, cher
dainty feet were incased in shoes that
might be taken for fairy boots, tied his
wardrobe up in handkerchief and left
for parts unknown when it appeared the
next morning "Her dirty feet were in
cased in shoes that might be taken for
ferry-boats. p" le.tt ''e
You need not be afraid of giving too
much. An old darkey once said, "If
any ob you know OBJ any church wa,
died oh iberality, jes' tell me whar it is
and I will make pilgrimage to it, ant
by de soft light oh de pale moon I will
crawl upon it's moss-coYered roof an
write upon de topmcst single. Blessed
am de dead who die in de Lord"
SYMPHONY,
lt. - PART I.
AS the spring wore on and the weather got
All sultringly sultry and dad hinged hot,
The late Mr.. Brown declared he'd not
Be melted to death in that dry-goods store,
And hence he concluded he'd wear more
The undershirt he erst had wore.
Eft<- ISIS PART H.
little cold in his delicate lung, HflE
little song by the church choir sung
A little corpse to the graveyard brung. 20
st. Louis Journal.
The present is most undoubtedly an y
age Of thought, research and reason;ij
old dogmas are being overturned, long
lived fallacies exposed, and superstition
banished by the regenerating light of
science borne aloft in the onward march
Of progress but-see here-do, you
suppose we shall ever be any nearer
knowing how it comes that the homeli-
est men are always the ones who adopt
their own photos for trademarks r.
Breakfast Table. - k