The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1878-07-26
For the Times.
pIsAPPINTED CANDYDATE--s0uR GRAPES,
EICEcRER.
PUsKISvILJ, July forth.

I
| o blasted ambishun sensation, like as II haint
been trcatcd rite. lowed my writip wud give
| me u kline Of literary notiryety, ct nuthih else,
| but hav been lisnin about gatherins an mectlhs
| too see if | couldn't heer sumbody speakln Ok
! what q crate writer corryspoudcr Sump
| Punkin was, an ant hcared but one opinyun
| expressed, an that, too, by one blasted disapin-
| ted candy dydate, an he sod he blecVcd Sump L.
was burned Jooi Now mister Editur, this is
| the thanks an the popularity men of sense who
| wud save thar kuntry gifts fur thar trub1le.-
But feel happy, KNOWN that my kuntry wus
| safe cviu ef the convention adopted rcscrlu-
| tions not quito as good as mine. l am afeared
tho that my style of wrtin is too deep an pinted,
| an requires more cdcatiou an resarclr, pertical-
| ly an Enthusiastically, then the mayjerity of My
more unfawtunate Teller citizens is suhjeck too.
| Iknow it wudn't do emmy good fur me too be
| tryin too git poplar now, fur seed trum the
last paper that | haint no chance fur no offs,
sins the convention met, but L don't keer ddhS
to ripresent pcpul who ain't got sense cnuif to
| vote fur thar bcSt men. Now kline frind | don't
| want yu TO think that I'm mad at yu kaso yu
didn't call special tcntion too my writia in yore
| editorcs, nor mad at my filler cite Gcns fur not
| kickin up big hurrah over me but sum how
| or another, | am in 4 bad 'umor about sum-
thin but tell yu agn | wor'nt a seekin no
oils, IN jist say this, eff thay oil had q nom
| ynatcd me too went TO the big convention l
| would had n better opnyun of the Judgement OF
the pcpul, crater expectations fur the flu
tur prosperity of our State. l think that
it wud be better to change this erlccton biz
ness round anuthcr way next time. shall go
| in mex crlccion fur to keep all the smart men,
sich as myself, at home, jist fur voting puposes.
| think ii mo- impowcnt friend Editor, that sich
men as me an you an Guvnor Hampton to be at
the ballot box than too be in offs. Why, kline
fren, cf sich three kumposed the votin
popation of this State, it wudu't matter sent
who wus jcdgc, jury, Legislator, gunner, or
jdiier. Don't yu see the pint" Noin orter DC
made us hone,abu and as highristocratcal
holden offs, nn then crerJody wud be seekin to
kauollify themselves fur the bizncss.
| Thar is sumthn about this here crlection biz
nisa that is nifty funny an strange to me. Now
crc,.ybo1y goes too the ballot box an votes fur
who he peascs an gencry arter the erlection,
: everybody is n grumbin, kasc they think them
what is crlccted aint fit TO fill the oiises n
man 3 best trends cndurin the crlection turns
out ginoraly to he his wust enemies artcr he gifts
into offs. Thar pore Hays fur instance. crcry-
body is agin him. and lie an all the pepu', an
the lawyers an the supreme Coat an kongriss,
all put together an the constitution, cant tell
wcthur he is president or not, nor wcthcr
this crate rcpubiick has got emmy president or
not. Now aint us an the coustitushun an tho
q guvmcut an pore Hays, in most redicklous
prominence, in the eyes of our iustrus poster
ity, etccrer?
Now, kline Adyisur, it seems to me that arter
pcpul crlects too offs tharselvcs, they had
ort too be satisfied, fur who is too blame ef he
, aint fit. IF am foole cnuf too go into the
woods git pine sassafax wood TO make
. Vaughn hubs uten, an find out dricr hare mdde
G en-, that the wood don't do wuth cent fur the
bisniss, who ortcr be cusscd fur being foolc,
and not fit fur the bisness, me CT the pine or the
sa.safax ? Kline fren answer that in yorc mex.
G | will leave the subjck of poyticks for u
short time an pass to n fuc scattrin remarks on
sumthin else; n',,while am doing that l will
call yorc attention too sum of yorc mistakes an
sich like. Now thar is sum thing yu ort not
D too do. | nots that yu ar continncrly cutin up
c at the city of Spotcnbug, kasc she Prevailed
on Union to help her xtenl that ralc rode
Mister Editur, yu orten tn think hard of the
Sparkinboogers fur havin a sort 0 contempt fur
Union folk, kase yu know cf VII pcrvail emmy
individual to do sum,hin agin his own intrust
fur yorc benefit, and no matter how much good
it may do yu, yu will alters think he is dtnycd
fuc. etcetcrcr. Now kline frcn, take my cdvicc.
, an don't let noboddy git the advantage Of yu
C Now will say few words about myself be-
fore closin, fur fear that have not sed cnutf OH
that intresting uhect. Sum Goax may think
aint much an aint entitled to oIis-no notis.-
| know in this dcliteful world aint
, sidcrcd much cf he don't blow his own horn loud
enuff too be heared afur off, tharfore l will do
so. Sum pepul brag mitely about what they
have dun, but think l have dun sum bully
things too fur instance, started out in life
with nuthin (axidcnt frum the result Of sum
or nuther rcckin) an am now sumthin under
ten thouSan dollars Ill ucbt, an all by my own
pussonal cxursions, an nobody can't git drotcd
y red outen me nutber. Now who kin beat that
8 an so forth? But am lcngthning too long
, Iourn alters.
SUMP PUNKINS.
p. S. How's craps?
t p. s. agin. Now L IN nifty afeard-tho' don't
d kseE,pluchsabont it no how-tbM yu an rlcnny
= or my ilustrus fcltr ciirzens will cum too the
opinyun that IN mad about sumthin. Iu will
think that | wantid otis i'll spite Of everything
;, | have sed but will jist say this much, that
don't think it wood give me the struts very bad
TOO ok kipy sich Offices once late y filed by
. sich rs Cardozccr, June Moblcy, Glccvcs, Smalls,
! llogc, Jedge Wright a. SIS. Wallace etceterer,
an which the stink, ctcc.crcr, ain bin washed
o out Of yit hardly Now, if emmy bodily is
, mad, let en- take that. | amt scekin no offs
and CT ennybody says | am ar,cr offs he is q
nuthcr one, ctcctcrcr Friend Edtur did think
8 | would quit without =. $. this time. but |
, must say sumthn else on buSt--iho I amt dis
pntcd about nuthn-fur this ERECTION bisniss
is II devil of thing, much so that | can't
stand it, That's jist how il is Now ist don't
h, kecr Il drot ef wnsn't nommynatcd, an I'll toll
= yu why case, twixt ms, man, yH knor these
, days is jest nommJTalcd case he is what they
call Il raicabic, not 5ekase he il fit fur the offs