The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1878-02-28
The Other Mother.in.l.aw.

The Other Mother.in.l.aw.
.. It might bc reckoned a hardship to in
terdict the repetition of old Jokes on wonr-
out subjects since SO many would be hu-
morists depend on the practice for the lit
tie reputation they possess. But the priv
ilege ofjesting on ancient themes ought
to be forfeited after a certain protracted
period of its exercise. Jokes on mothers
in-law, for example, ought long ago to
have expired by limitation, for they have
had run of we know not how many CEN
turies, and it is asserted that nothiug new
has been said on the subject since the
dawn of the Christian era. They are per-
pctratcd, however, all over this and other
lands daily, hourly, momentalily, as if
each of the innnmerable antiques was
startingly original. The sole 1eason that
Adam did not try to got, off something
sharp about mothers-in-law is that he had
none; consequently he was debarred from
the right that every man has enjoyed
since. We're it not for mothers-in law,
half the paragraphers in the country
would be out Of business, and that would
be MistOrtune---tO them.
To read the newspapers Of the United
States you would think mothers-in-law,
always meaning the wite's mother, the
most odious of human beings; that thew
arc eternal sources of discord and Giscon-
tent between the married daughter and
her husband; that they arc specially crea-
ted to add to the pains and penalties of
wedlOck. If any man should believe 4
hundredth of what he reads or a 1.-THE of
what he says, he would no more allow his
wifcs mother to cross his threshold than
he would adopt means for introducing
small pox or yellow fever into his house
hold. But all husbands invite their moth
er-inlaw to visit them, and are glad to
see and entertain them, while many hus-
bands keep them nnder their roof, and
become much attached to them. Gener-
ally, indeed, in this country, our growth,
material, social and mental, is so rapid
that our mothers-in-law are apt to he i'm
provcments upon our. mothers. A man
has more advantages than his parents have
had; on reaching his majority he is like
" to be in many ways superior to what
his father was at the same aye. And
when he marrics, if he have any sort Of
success, he will probably marry woman
Of naturally finer quality than himself,
woman whose mother has more culture
and breeding than his own mother has.
Such being the case, he is inclined to cs-
teem and like his mother-in- law, who, in
stead of make bate and mar-all, is usual
ITyn q al II I<9s
tional attraction to his house.
This fact-for itfrcqucntly it is a fact
does not prevent the ceaseless misrcprc-
sentation of mothers in law as termagants,
disturbers Of domestic peace, uncompro-
missing foes of the husband. Everybody
knows that it IS SANDER; that the satire
is undcscrvcd; that the caustic humor is
hackneycd. But then mothers n-law,
whatever their virtues, whatever marital
sympathy and affection they may solicit,
afford opportunity for jokes, and these, it
would seem, must he made, irrespective
OF truth, fitness or freshness, because they
arc so easy of manufacture. If itbe pos
siblc for good jest, like good wine, to
improve with age-and of this there il
grave doubt-a poor jest never can mend
with iteration. The :jests on mothers-in-
law were poor enough when they were first
cracked, and that time was prehistoric
What must they be now?
Not little Of what has become sterco-
typed satire in relation to the wife's moth
er has some foundation, applied to the
husband s mother, who seldom, if ever is
regarded as the mother-in-law, because,
no, doubt, men are satirists, and resolved
to present only one side. Where the
husbands mother is permitted to advise,
or has any influence in his house, it is not
he, but his wife who suffers. She bears
the brunt of interference, of prejudice, of
domination, while all the stories portray
him as the martyr. He rarely thinks of
his own mother as mcddlcr,tyrant, trouble
breeder, and his wife is not prone to COM
plain; and should she complain, it will he
strange if he listen to her with patience
OF consideration. He takes it for granted
that there was but one mothcr-in-law, for
he looks at the whole question from his
standpoint singiy, without counting his
mother, who is not, and never can be his
mother r-in-laW. It is the wife's mother
alone who sulks, scolds, renders herself
obnoxious, and raises the Ancient Henry
generally. Who has ever heard of the
husband s mother doing that sort of thing?
1t is very seldom spoken of, because,
when there are any grand tantrums, she
is the chief performer. The woman we
pcrpetually hear about is usually 1Dno-
cent; the woman We never hear about is
usually the guilty one.
1t is very easy to see why the husbands
not the wite's, mother causes dissension
when it is caused. As rule, all women
want to have their daughters married, and
they feel something like gratitude toward
the men who marry them. If their daugh
ters husband treats her kindly and makes
her happy, they grow very fond of him,
since he his identified with her happiness,
and iLseparable from it. And if he is
not what he should be, she is apt to re-
strain herself, knowing that interrosition
on her part cannot but make bad worse.
Moreover, there is between them the in
stinct and attraction of difference in sex,
which permeates and regulates the whole
economy of nature.
With the mans mother it is by no
mems the same. Women generally do
not care to have their sons married at
least to any body they arc likely to get.
They are disposed to believe that no at
tainable she is quite good enough for
their son, even though he may have noth-
ing to Recommend him. When he takes
a wife, they are. in lime cases out of ten,
bitterly disappointed, for they are sure
he might have done better; in truth, they
can scarcely see how he could have done
worse. The wife is their rival, and unless
she and they are exceptionally sympa-