The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1878-08-17
NUMBER Is.
PASSING SMILES.

SPIDERS ought to be good correspond
ents. They drop line by every post.
THE camp-meeting horn which sounds
before breakfast is not the horn usually
taken by sinners.
By accident, a Boston paper lately
headed marriage notice Ingenious
Attempt to Swindle."
GIVE little to those who ask, though
you suspect them to be impostors. 1t
may not do them good, but it will you.
FEW BARRIERS can ever look upon them
selves as being one of
the few, the immortal names
That were not born to dye
WE are never more deceived than
when we mistake gravity for greatness
solemnity for science, or pomposity for
erudition.
ALEXANDER the Great used to say
that he was more indebted to Aristotle
for giving him knowledge than he was to
his father for life.
EVERY boy knows that even the
therefore, perhaps, uses as many Of them
as possible for bait.
ENVY is frequently the foundation of
false reports. There is a jealousy which
renders the success OF others prov0ca-
ton of malevolence.
THERE would be less willingness to go
to war il the shot of the enemy were dis
tributed like prize money--the larger
part to the higher ranks.
WHAT'S the difference between the
Prince OF Wales and water in foun-
tain? One is heir to the throne, and the
other is thrown to the air.
Boys and girls both wear switches.
The formers, however, is confined to no
certain locality, aud the thick end is
generally in the old mans hand.
EVERY rose, it is said, has its thorn,
but any one who has ever gone into the
country to pick them, will swear that
every blackberry has its fifty or a hum
dred.
VERY few tramps are taking Eu-
ropean tour this summer. They are, as
usual, however, taking on the European
plan whatever they happen to find lying
loose around the country.
How funny If you see merchant
studying up the sailing days of foreign
steamers, you form high opinion of his
business but if cashier does it, you
draw your deposits from his bank in
stanter.
CAREFUL readers will have observed
that most of the English poets have a
good deal to say about the beauties of
early morning. This same habit of COM
ing home about dawn is still continued
by a good many who are not poets.
THERE may be certain medical differ
ences between a single cat in fit and
couple Of them in fight, butt amounts
to about the same thing If they each hap
pom to select the Hower-pot in the front
yard ss the scene OF their activities.
IT is popularity believed that the first
time man ever blush, upon this sinful
earth was when as a boy he first saw the
condition of his hair after issuing from
a cutting and indiscriminate summer
scissorihg at the hands of his mother.
Ii you take one of the new silver half
dollars, pour little muriatic acid on
the figure of the eagle, and set it out in
the sun for twenty minutes, when you
come to look at it, it will be gone. And
the tramp who took it will be gone, also.
A MAMMOTH ghost, robed in blue and
scarlet, appeared on the Western sky
last evening in Greenville. Do these
apparitions result from too much ice
water p Cincinnati Gazette. Yes, sir it
is clear case of lorin'-phantom.-
Graphic.
IMAGINATION is said to be over-felic-
itous in his remarks. Passing through
a hospital in Paris, he was told that
patient had meningitis. "a very bad
disease" said MacMahon. 1t either
kills you or leaves you demented.
have had it myself"
A FRENCH priest recently gave out
an announcements OF procession TO take
place next day, as follows: If it rains
in the morning, the procession will take
place in the afternoon, and If it rains in
the afternoon, the procession will take
place in the morning"
ANOTHER advantage in moonlight
nights for lovers is that the brilliant
radiance enables the young men to per-
ceive the sign of the dangerous Ice
cream saloon from remote distance,
and consequently, by turning down
some other street, save himself.
"a wAsP's nest contains fifteen thou
sand cells" and the greatest number OF
these "sells is to sit down on the nest
under the mistaken impression that all
the wasps have gone to the seaside or
somewhere on visit. A single wasp
loafing in the back kitchen will give the
sitter warm reception.
OBITUARY POETRY.
In marked contrast to the ridiculous obituary
verses, sometim genuine and sometimes spurious
that go the rounds Of the press, Is the following
really touching lit lie poem, which We CLIP from the
Detroit Free Press:
A lily broken by the rain,
Before single earthly stain
Has on its velvet wilderness lain;
sn. wy bird that close caressed
By the soft, broodi 6 mother breast,
Dares yet forsake the sheltering rest,
And straight, before its silver wings
Have ever stopped to baser thinns,
Plies up " heaven, and flying sings.
These and all other pure and mild
And lovely objects undecided,
Are types Of what tn vert. my child
YESTERDAY morning heavy-brOwed
man, with the tramp of dragon, strobe
into the business Office Of the HdaCkeye
and ordered his paper stopped. 1t was
stopped, right on abyphen, never waited
to finish out the sentence. The man
waited moment to give the manager
an opportunity to ask "whyT but the
managers wenton answering aletter from
the Emperor of China relative to the
terms for daily and special advertising
rates, and didn't seem to take much in
| terest in ANYTHING else Finally the