The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1878-09-12
QartetY.

Not amiss-A pretty widow.
strappIng fellow-The barber
Man proposes, but her father dlsposes.
Sound nvestment-Buying telephone.
HypOchondriRcs rarely commit suicide.
Ode to money lender-"Meet me loan"
Queer kind of love-a neuralgia affection.
regular attendant at the club-A policeman,
The best throw, at dice ls-to throw them away,
A st. Louis woman died without medical as.
Bstance"
All poets and painters take a hack at Niagara
Falls.
Who ever heard Of barber taking In silent
partner.
Take away woman, and what would follow ?
The men.
wanted-a boat that will float upon the sea Of
troubles"
The time to buy a new hat-When the band be-
gins to play,
The latest song out is entitled "The Gas Bill"
1t is sung in long meter.
If were in the sun aud you were out Of it.,
what would the sun become7 Sin.
A good many men are in the best health when
they are out of spirits.
OF all kinds of property, money lent on good
security is the most interesting
Poverty humbles pride. man when he is
short, can hardly carry high head
What word may be pronounced quicker by add.
lug one syllable to it7-Quick.
Young men, IN beginning courtship be sure
you don't write and then go ahead.
Though the clouds rear their battlements in the
sky, they are easily carried by storm
Real estate is higher In the Rocky Mountain
district than in any other part of the country.
straw about eight inches In length and with
no flaw in 1t makes very efficient director of the
mint!
The female gate-keeper on the pike has been
removed for dead.heading her sweetheart. She
never TOLD her love-
No matter how careful q boy may be Of his
clothes, he will wear pair of pantaloons much
| longer when he is man.
In reply to the question. "How did you kill so
| ulhuy TdSi Mike lub buIuuslhbllC uOstltE bhlu
''I strychnine of them at wanst, sir |"
We saw young man with two heads on bis
shoulders the other day but that don't consider 1t
much Of a curiosity. One belonged 10 his girl,
Ruskins powers are said to be rapidly failing
him, and 1t is feared his last book has been writ
ten.
Johnny Steel (Coal Oil Johnny is now clerking
| in grocery store in Dennison, Iowa, He is now
but thirty years Of age.
Mrs. Mary A. Livermore has returned from her
extended European tour, and is now at her home
in Melrose, Massachusetts,.
A Nevada politician was elected on the merits
of single speech, All he said was: Fellow
countrymen, follow me TO yonder saloon"
In the Legislature there was introduced bill
for the preservation of fish" Brine has generally
been considered good,
The peasantry of Sweden subsst chiefly on rye
cakes, which they bake only twice year, and
which are, therefore, as hard as ship biscuits.
In France party of editors have been hunting
wild boars Happy country Here the editors
are hunted by tame bores
Scene in railway carriage Fond wife--Let
me see your paper a moment, dearH Husband
Yes, as soon as we get to the tunnel.
Perhaps it is wrong to go fishing on Sunday, but
if fish are wicked enough to bite on Sunday, they
ought to be made to suffer for 1t.
The man who leaves two.thirds of a cigar in q
dark nook on the front door STEP when he goes to
see his girl will make a thrifty husband.
A tramp walked into st. Louis, the other day
and Chicago Immediately rose on its hind leg'
and whimpered. "Now they've got one majority
An expert can tell if the man ct the other end
of the telephone eats onions. He detects a peou
liar peel in the voice as 1t is scent along the wire
A wag, who thought to have joke at the ex
pense Of an Irish provision dealer, said: "Can
you supply me with a yard Of pork ~ pat" said
the dealer to his assistant, "give this gentleman
three pigs feet"
The Electrician, British journal devoted to
telegraphic interests, states that at the present
time there exists in working order over 65,OOC
miles of submarine cable, in the hands Of eigh
teen companies,
"sam" observed the magistrate "have yor
hooked any chickens and geese lately2" "No
sab ~ replied Sam, promptly. But when he go
home he threw down a bundle and remarked
'Ef he'd a-sald ducks, Dinah, he'd a-had me-"
Sunday school boy OF Maysvillei KY, wa
asked by the superintendent If his father was
Christian. "Yes sir" he replied, "but he's not
working at 1t much"
A Mississippi Judge was just saying that no one
but coward would carry pistol when his owl
fell from his pocket, was discharged, and the bull
let hit lawyer in the leg.
The persistency with which school boy vii
20 fishing and catch nothing, Is equalled only b!
AZ ,nsuooaeafnl affnrta of the cnrn dontOr tn 40