The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1878-04-25
How She Fooled Him.

Jouu OdnusCTlpJS WlIe went 10 Deu
on the night before the 1st of April
with her mind made up to fool the old
man next day or die in the attempt. In
previous years she had found John i'm
pervieus to jokes of all kinds, and she
realized the augean task on the morrow
With her mind full of the self-imposed
task, she went to sleep. At daylight
she awoke and at once began to operate
Her victim was lying with his back to
her, apparently in sound sleep. She
poked him vigorously in the ribs with
her sharp elbow and clawed his shins
with her toe-nails, preparatory to start
ling him with Aalf-whispered warn
ing. '
"john-oh, John-there's some one
ringing the door-bell."
'Let i'm ring" was the sleepy re-
sponse.
"But, John, maybe it's the man on
the nextsquare, who owes you that 500,
come to pay you"
"No, faint, neither, said John with
yawn.
"But you don't know, and it may be
that very man."
81 guess not, for he's buried; died
last week. Besides, old woman, your
ears deceive you. l took the bell-knob
off last night to fool April-foolers.
Heavens what mess she had made
of it to begin with But when the old
man rolled out of bed, yawned and pick
ed up his pants, she rammed the sheet
in her mouth to plug up her laughter.
"Oh, JENNY! won'the tun BILE when
he puts his foot in them pants and finds
the leg sewed up?" she said to herself.
Judge of her rage when the provok-
ing brute innecently carried the block
AIDED breeches to the wardrobe and in
quired:
"Nancy, where's them chocolate-col-
ored pants had on last week ?"
Put on the ones you have in your
hands, John; what's the matter with
them?"
81 burst button off yesterday, and
they need mending."
At breakfast she poured him out a
nice cup of coffee and sweetened it
with two spoonfuls of salt.
"You needn't give me any coffee, "he
said, "keep that yourself"
"Why, John, what's the matter?
This is the first time since we were
married that you refused coffee"
"Tho blamed stuff has made me ner-
vous lately; and, as this is the first Of
the month thought I'd break off and
only drink it for supper. You keep
that yourself"
When he came home to dinner she
had prepared him neatly directed en-
velope with blank paper enclosed.
He eyed it suspiciously, and throwing
it into the fire, said:
81 know that handwriting. It's from
that crazy lunatic who wants me to
vote for him tomorrow. SO much for
his letter"
In the evening she disguised herself
in one of her husbands old suits, and
came to the door to beg for charity.
"Please to give me nickel to buy
some bread ?"
"Get out, or I'll give you nickel
with MY boot"
"But sir, consider. I'm starving"
"The dickens you are Now, I'll bet
you fifty dollars against the suit Of
clothes you wea7, that you are an i'm
poster"
"But, sir"
"If l were to search you now l
shouldn't be surprised to find you lousy
with wealth. For two cents | would
see."
"For heavens sake,
"Now, none Of your soft soap on me.
| don't believe in beggars. Here, you
policeman, take this internal imposter
to the station house."
Just as the "peeler" grabbed the sup
posed beggar by the back of the neck a
shrill voice yelled:
"John! John you wouldn't send
your wife to the station house, would
your"
"The deuce l wouldn't" was the
cool response. "Anybody who lies to
me about my door-bell, sews up my
trousers, puts salt in my coffee, writes
me anonymous notes, and steals my
clothes ought to go to the penitentiary
for life."
"But how did you know"
"If you women wouldn't talk in your
sleep you might keep secret once In a
WHILE"
Mrs. Sandscript says that hereafter,
when she attempts an April-fool joke,
she intends to sit up all the night pre-
v,ous