Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1878-07-24
NO. 80.
A Handy Man to Have Around.

There was look of bowed care about
the man, as though he had at some time
sat down TO mediate under pile driver
and had been suddenly disturbed by
some one starting up the machine. He
walked into the eounting-room of a
morning paper, leaned his elbows on the
counter, rested his chin in his hands.
looked solemnly at the clerk and said !:
Il understand the care of horses.
young man, and when il comes to land
scape gardening, can tell sou | ain't
no slouch.'
Il can't see as that interests me any.
said the clerk, with yawn that endan-
gered his ears. Z" don't run a livery
stable, nor 1 amt park commissioner
I'm a handy man to have around the
house, proceeded the intruder, with u
smile that seemed painful. | can turn
my hand to most anything, from build
ing fence to keeping the baby quiet
Nobody disputes you, remarked the
young man, dryiy.
Il also understand pruning, and u
good many people think Pm surer than
certainty itself when il comes TO graft
ing.'
well, this amt nursery, old man,
and we don't pay for gas We dom burn,
so you might as we'll close the concert
and meander.'
1T might be mentioned that 1 know
how to milk, and for keeping a churn
dasher busy Pm right on deck every
time; now you can just charge your
mind with that. | never dodge hard
work, no matter what shape it comes at
me in. All ask is plenty of il, and
meals regular
The clerk was growing fidgety and
red in the face. He pointed to the door
and nodded sideways with the air of a
man who had about made up his mind
TO stand no more foolishness. The man
reclining on the counter continued
calm and undisturbed:
In house cleaning time Pm the har-
diest man you ever saw. can beat a
carpet till you wouldn't know il, and az
washing windows and securing up gen.
orally l won't take a back seat for any,
body. In showing around heavy furni-
ture and taking down stoves, rm right
at home, ana | also know all about
whitewashing, and can go over carpet
without spilling a DROP
well, who said you couldn't?' de.
manded the clerk. 'Clear out! We
don't want any more of your lingo, and
we dOn't want any more of your help.
We never clean house here.'
'l'm the most willing man you ever
saw. just put down that Pm always
ready to make myself useful, and
good steady job with plenty to do is the
one | want 10 tie TO. Ii don't matter
about the wages; We'll never fall out on
that head
But l tell you we don't want you.
We've nothing in the world for you to
do here
We'll, Lord bless you, man, who said
you had l never asked you to give me
no job, did ?
We'll, that seems to be about the
drift of your CAB, if | can understand
plain English, said the clerk petulantly.
Gracious me, no; never thought of
such a thing. What I'm trying TO come
at is that want you to write it down
and print What sort of goslin l am In
your paper
'Oh, / see,' said the clerk. you
want to advertise for situation?'
Yes, that's it. exactly. There's lots
of folks, l s'pose, worrying and fretting
because they can't get hold of just such
sort Of man as | am. Handy men are
mighty scarce these times, sure's you
live. 1 s'pOse that had better 90 at the
top, in great big letters, and where you
say that I'm willing, put it as loud as
you have room for. They'll always find
me willing, whoever finds me--'speeially
at about meal times. You might throw
in that | have seven characters, and
some of 'em as much as four years long.
Horses is my preference, but Pm not
above drivin' a team of mules, or SHOW
cling gravel, if nothing better offers.
Fix it all up soft somebody'll have to
hire me, and I'll divide the first months
wages with you. Pile it all on just as
strong as you want to, and I'll back it
up when | get the job-every word of
it, | ought to know how TO work, /
should think-I'm just out of the work
house from twelve months trip, but
l suppose that hadn't better 90 in. IL
had the chink TO spare I'd pay extra
and have you slam it in poetry blamed
if | wouldn't, bat then, hold on-that
might fetch me up in place where they
live on style and toothpicks, and thae
wouldn't hardly suit me now, Just at
first I'd rather have chance to fatten
up little. Make it plain and blunt,
and that'll strike the livers.