Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1878-02-15
IN JOKE AND IN EARNEST.


a corset is one Of the few articles which it
pays to waist.
A beautiful woman has been described as the
paradise Of the eye and the purgatory of the
purse.
It is a higher exhibition Of Christian mnnli-
ness to be able to bear trouble than to get rid
of it..
An Ohio man has lent Il new charm to bach
clorhood by inventmg button 10 be put on
with IL screw-drivtr.
When you see n cat put up her back and
snarl Mt IL plate of saugagcs, you mny know
they are genuine.
There is gift that is almost blow, and
there is kind word that is almost a munif-
cence so much is there in the way of doing
things
Skeptcsm has never founded empires, es-
tablshed principalitics. or changed the worlds
heart. The great docrs in history have al
ways been men of faith.
Lndy TO a little girl Of four years What
are you going to call your new doll Z" Girl,
chewing a sigh like some anxious mother
II shall call it Rosa-if it lives"
There is beautiful precept which he who
has received Rn injury, or thinks that he has,
would for his own sake do well TO follow. Ex-
cuse half and forget the rest.
little girl said to her mamma, Mamma,
have you heard of the man that got shot y
NO child; how did he get shot - asked
mamma. "Oh, " said the young precocious,
che bought en-
Never catch me marrying a reformed
man, said a wise little Chicago girl "when
| get married it will be to some one who
doesn't need reforming And She was right.
Whoever sincerely endeavors to do all the
good he can, will probably do much more than
he magines or will ever know till the day of
Judgment, when the secrets of all hearts shall
be made manifest.
An exchange speaks of Il man who recently
bit another mans thumb off in a quarrel The
paper does not say whore the man came from,
but the Kennebec journal thinks he must have
been from Gnawthumbcrland.
II am requested, said the clerk of the Low
cr Illinois House, the other day, ito announce
that the Rev. DR. Mcfarland viii lecture in
the hall this evening on the Education of
IDIOTS Members of the Legislature are in
vited to attend
Generosity is perfectly compatible with
economy; and the means which enables some
of our most noble-hearted. generous men to
do SO much benefit to mankind are obtained
not by observation-disclosures, butby econ
omy.
A little boy who was nearly starved by a
stingy uncle lhis GUARDIAN with whom he
lived, meeting lonk greyhound one day in
the street, was asked by his guardian what
made the dog 50 thin. After rejecting the
little fellow replied: II suppose he lives with
his uncle"
A small boy in Worcester, Mass, after be-
ing introduced TO his new brother. asked his
f.tbfr if Ia. l,I ,,,fI fgr
and being answered in the negative. said {:
We'll, guess you'll have to pay rs much as
SO for l know where it cost over - to get n
boy ont Of jail
1t is very sad for a man to make himself
servant to thing, his manhood all taken out
of him by the hydraulic pressure Of excessive
business. l should no; like to be merely a
great doctor, a great lawyer, great minister.
a great politician. I should Ike TO he also
something of man. 7Hfodore PARKER.
4 Welsh paper in Chicago says: "Emedan
delta blad blir IN udvokat af den financiclla
teori som bcsjalar greenhackpartiet och sa-
ledes en- greenbacktidning. "A komma Watt
tala greenhacks god del" That's alright.
It's all very well TO go in for greenbacks, but
what's the use Of swearing about it Bostol,
GlObc.
4 noted writer says, The power of putting
Z
thors, artists or goods are pulled. the putting
does not gain for them fame or fortune I'M
less there is "a degree Of merit. If there is
no fuel in yOur crate, you may puE till the
bellows burst. but there will be no fire, and
your pot viii not boil"
Every day absurdities-To make yourself
generally dsagreeable, and then wonder that
nobody will visit you. To sit shiycring in the
cold because you won't have fire till Noyem-
ber. Not to 90 to bed when you are tired
and sleepy because it is not bedtime. TO
make your servants tell lies for you, and af-
terwards be angry because they tell lies for
themselves. To tell your own secrets and be-
lieve that other people will keep them.
A young gentleman in New York has hit
upon very funny amusement. He sprung
the fire alarm as sort of pastime, and he
laughed till he cried when the engines came
dashing along and the tiremen couldn't find
any confagration. But now the sport seems
less amusing. A policeman with a lamenta-
blc lack of humor arrested him. jury inper-
vious TO the genial influence of Jest tried
him, and n Judge who didn't know a good
joke when he saw it sent him up for 20 days
The law doesn't appreciate humor
DIR. Mary Walker picked out piece OF
black and gray striped goods for her new
pantaloOns, and her stupid tailor made them
| up so that the stripes ran round and round
and before the fair Doctor had walked two
blocks with her new miment her legs looked
so like two rattlesnakes that she had fright
ened five men into delirium tremens and was
finally arrested as an escaped convict She is
practising her right leg on a sand-bag, and is
calmly waiting for the tailor to come to the
| front door with his bill.-HdTktyt.