Mexico weekly ledger., 1878-03-28

regent and justice OF the peace o
Raccoon 'holler." 1t was evident
that the male ornaments Of the house
hold had rooms elsewhere; SO l did
not object to dine at her board. She
didn't want a book just then, but re-
quested me to call again after she
had considered the subject. OF
course l couldn't deny her the bene-
fit of my presence even before con-
sideration, so l called around nine
times within sixty minutes afterward.
For eight consecutive visits l had
the pleasing assurance Of her good
humor and indulgence, accompanied
with Il request for an extension of
time; but when 1 dropped around
again after an absence of ten min
utes. Oh horrors! what q fix | found
that yard gate in. Istood rooted to
the spot, gazing with a sort of awe
and chagrin, the sight was almost in
credible-wrappod and plated, wo-
Zen and knotted, tied and twisted
with enough twine string to supply q
retail grocery for half a century and
in addition to this an clubhouse roll
ed up against the fettered gate, and
strengthened with n cart load of stove
wood and chunks. | viewed the
fabrication Il moment in the capacity
Of an invading army-a battering
rama terror-a lion, and with these
thoughts | leapcd upon the embattle-
ments, managed to reach the dizzy
nights of the palings, but losing my
balance was prccipitated hcadlong to
the ground inside. This wasn't 80 bad
as | didn't break my neck and for
~tunately sustained no other injury
than a fractured knce-cap and u
wounded dignity. l righted my
PROSTATE carcass as sprightly as pos
sible and hobblcd off to the painting
door bell with as much cheek as a
Government mule. But imagine my
confusion on meeting at this moment
Il sight totally rs unique, and appall-
ing as the former-snakes upon CEN
tipcdes, scorpions and bed bugs!
impossible!.l escaped my inyolunta-
ry ]utterancc.
The lady of the household, not the
smiling damsei Of an hour previous,
but a storming AmaZonian drawn up
in fighting array, and exhibiting and
+ liourishing Il broom stick with as
much skill and effect as n Shillalier
from the Emerald Isle, came charg-
ing at me followed by her six year
old pet who supported a huge pair of
shears to d~ccapitate my q after |
was captured, and aided and abetted
by a female hcathcn OF the negro
persuasion who carried in her ponder
Gus fists the major part Of a culina-
ry department, skillet included.
Twice before had l fed from the
wrath of a woman, and as often re-
+ neyed courage to harrrss another,
but in this case ] felt convinced that
t | was confronting torture and death,
=. face to face. | halted and stood hike
Il statue (inclining b~ackward) mo-
t~ionless and silent, with q fixed death
like stare. In one sholt moment
recalled all my sins and actions Of
the past few hours, and mutely qucs.
toned III what manner | had so Sc.
= riously offended this woman. Hel
overwhelming wrath thwarted all
= idea of respite, or rescindsion of hos
5 t~ilities, ! had wished to implore, anG
= then and there / witnessed a ''furT,'
: equal to the most radically extreme
, subject to assumption by a ''womal
, scorned." | felt assured that III
!, power of persuasion or promise would
alleviate the tempest that threatened
me, and horribly conscious Of thu
rapid approach and close proximlt,
of my exasperated a~ssailant, a vic
: lent tremor seemed to possess IN,
body. My daring cowed within
me like q belabored hound-my lip
: quivered-my frame trembled ant
4 my whole soul seemed concentrated
in those appendages so useful in help
n ing a man out of danger; but he
! shrill voice and a bar of soap tina
!, came whistling past my head, arouse'
=, me from my stupor, and l dashe'
u from the spot to the place of my en-
l trance, followed by a shower of cpl
C thets and tin pans.
v Reaching the fence, / Chambers
(. TO the summit with difficulty an
- hesitated a moment in my fancied sc
le curity to make the awful leap. Blu
l was in danger even at this elevate
1t position.
al was a book agent, and the terri
BILE reputation which stigmatized ths
:. class of humanity, now menaced m
personal safety. Presently / heard
~ groan below, a tiutter in the air, an
y felt the enormous force of a doubl
u edged fiat iron strike me plump in th
ie back with one muffied sigh in til
l shape of a grunt. l rolled from til
'e fence like a great heap of sin and fe
lg broad-side across the tops of a hitcl
IN ing post. Oh murderl if l did'l
e. see, blazes-my eyes fairly ~scentill:
he ted. Struggling from the post to tt
ground 1 sprang to my feet, uttere
Fl one loud, prolonged and piercin
- yell which rent the air for five mil,
= around, and rushed madly down tt
ne street, followed by six dogs and
p policeman. A well directed brio
bat however, checked my career as
.es turned the corner on Calamity 81
and was forcibly advised to aws
ny charges in the house of c~orrectio
ng This of course signaled the resign
ng ton of my agency; and now, even
he my retired old age, as I review ]
scars received in that memorable /
tlv treat, Ga fractured knee cap, |
broken ribs and a dislocated shoul
err, 1 reproach my stupidity for !
u asking that woman when she hit
No in the back with fiat iron ssif 4
bic did Mt want to buy a book"