Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1878-08-22

Mr.. Thumbledrk. not daring tn risk the
sound OF his own voice, would have danced
the baby up and down. but its little legs
bent themselves into such appalling cres-
cents the hrst time he let the cherub's )
weight upon them, that the wretched man
knew in his heart OF hearts that he had
! forever and eternally most hopelessly
bowed them, and felt that he could
| never again look bow legged man In the
| face without a spasm of remorse. As for
meeting the father OF this beautiful boy,
whose life he had blighted with pair OF
crooked legs-never, he would face death
ever he met this boy waddiing TO school on
pair OF legs like ice-tongs, he would
gaze upon them as his own guilty work,
and would tremble les. the wrath of the
avenging gods should fall upon him.
Alarmed at the gloomy shadows which
these distressing thoughts cast over Mr..
| Thumbledirk's face the baby drew itself
up into a knot and walled. Mr.. Thum-
bledirk balanced IL carefully on his hands
and dandled IL. for sll the world as he
would "hett" watermelon. Instantly
the baby Strengthened itself out with such
alarming celebrity that the tortured dry
nurse caught II by the heels just In time to
save 1t from falling to the floor.
Hell kill that child yet" said the
| gloomy woman who talked bass, and Mr.
| Thumbledirk felt the blood curdle in cold
waves in his veins. BY this time the baby
was screaming like a calliope, and the
noise added inexpressibly TO Mr.. Thum-
bledirk's confusion and distress. He would
have trotted the baby on his knee, but the
attempt occasioned too much comment
The fat womaa with the market basket
said:
"Oh-h, the little DEAR
Ard the short. pretty woman snapped
her eyes and said.
"Oh-h-h how cruelm
And the woman In the black bomba-
zire, and the woman in the sun bonnet
said:
"Oh-li-h! just look at himi''
Aud the woman who talked bass said.
in her most sepnlchral and penetratin. !.
| accents: The mans fool"
And the baby itself utterly ignoring
the fact that Mr.. 1humoledirk was labor
Ing in its own interests, threw all the
obstruction 1t could in the way OF further
proceedings by alternately Strengthening
Itself out into an abnormal condition Of
such appalling rlgldity, that Mr.. Thum-
| bledIrk was obliged TO hold its head
tightly In one hand and It's heels 10 the
other. and then suddenly doubling iiself
up into 50 small a knot that the poor man
had 10 hold his two hands close together,
like a bowl, and hold the baby a. he would
, a pint OF sand, and these transitions from
one extreme to the other, were made with
such startling rspidity and appalling sud
denn"ss, that Mr. Ihumbedirk had to be
constantly on the alert, and hi. arms
ached so, and he exhibited such signs Of
fatigue and distress that the depot police
man looked in TO say to him that II he was
tired out. he would send In q section hand
or the steam shovel 10 give him a spell
Ii seemed 10 Mr.. ThUmbledirk that he
never heard so much noise come from SO
small baby In his life. The more he
turned 1t around and tossed 1t about the
more its cloak and dress, aud skirts aud
things became entansled around its neck.
and now aud then the mass OF drapery
would get over the baby's face and stlfe
It's cries for second. bat the noise would
come out stronger than ever when the
tossing little hands would tear away the
obstruction. And the louder the baby
screamed the faster the vigorous. fat legs
flew. kicking in every direction, like crazy
ny-wheels with the rim OF. Sometimes
Mr.. Ihumoledirk made as high as a hun
dred and eighty grabs minute at those
legs and never touched one OF them. lie
vas Aok, Ulluu anu Nilu Win terror anu
confusion. Once he tried TO sing TO the
baby, but when he quavered out
'Hootchy, pootchy. pudlin' aud pie" the
women laughed, all but the gloomy wo-
man who talked bass-she sniiiled, and he
stopped. He gave the baby his pearl
handled knife. and the innocent threw il
into the stove. He gave IL his gold watch,
and IL dashed IL on the door. He gave IL
his emerald scarf-pin, aud the baby put
IL into It's mouth.
The pretty woman screamed.
The sad woman In the bombazine
shrieked.
The angular woman 10 the sun-bonnet
yelled, ''Oh. mercy on us"'
The tat woman with the market-basket
called wildly for a doctor.
The gloomy woman who talked bass
shouted hoarsely:
Hes Killed it!'
And Mr.. Ihumbledirk hooked bis lin.
ger into that chlld's mouth and choked it
until its face was purple and black. trying
to find that pin. And Mr.. Tbumbledirk
couldn't hear even the chattering woman.
1t beat the air with its clenched fists. aud
thrashed and kicked with Its fat bare legs.
and walled aud howled and choked aud
screamed and doub bled up and stralghtened
out until Mr.. Thumbledirk. steeling his
nerves to the awful effort. casped the
screaming baby in his arms and rose to
his feet
He was going TO go out and throw him
self and the baby under the first train that
came along.
The baby's mother sprang In through
the door like an angel Of mercy.
She took the baby in her arms and with
one slight motion OF one hand. had its
raiment Strengthened out SO exQuisitely
smooth there wasn't wrinkle in it.
The baby lay in her arms as placid,
quiet, flexible, graceful aud contented as
q dream OF paradise.
The mother thanked Mr.. Thumbledirk
for the agony and torture he had endured
so patiently for her. This was the way
she thanked him. She did not look at
him. She looked straight out the window
with a stony glare. and said, In tones that
made the thermometer shlver:
MIR. Thumbledirk isn't very good
nurse, is he baby?"
All the women smiled, except the
gloomy woman who talked bass. She
odded approvlngly.
The baby looked up into MIR. Thun-
bledirk's face and laughed aloud.
What Mr.. Thumbledrk said when he
dashed ia at the ssnctum last evening was
this:
by the avenging daughters OF Night,
the everlasting. snake-haired Erynnes,
the terror-hannted shades never knew
the horrors thar haunted the soul OF
sensible single man that tries to take care
of some otter fools bowling, slualling,
squirmng baby -
General Butler seems to be utterly
without capacity to understand the cur
rency question. No doubt he kno that
his talk about taxing the Government