West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-02-09
FROM JOE DARTER AND NAN
CY DARTER.
AUROARRY WEsTrp

Mister Editor OF the ARGUS:
Onct more me and the old woman.
Nancy my wife, yours truly jist
thought that it must be nigh onto
two weeks since We wrote tother let.
ter, and Jist concluded that Joe Oar
ter and Nancy had sxpaciatsd their
lives, we jist write to let you know
that We are in the land Of the Twin
and watchin for moose. If it comes
this way will bag the game, and
write the perticklers at onct.
Joe Barter has been dreadful sick
lately. Nancy says it come FROM ca
tin too much frozen psrtaters. joe
10 mighty tend OF pertaters and
dld nj want any to Spite no how.
de had sich dreadful pains in his
ehiSt. Nancy WAY 'keerd, and give
him eVsrsomuch catnip and penny.
nll tea to driRk she bilt bushes
and three pecks OF ingins, and put
them In big bag red hot. and put
the Gag on Joe's chist, oh dunder
ana bitten how them iugins did
burn with Nancy eettin on top to
keep EN- on. | tell you never cant
forget. Joe hOllered with all his
might, but Nancy sot still, sayin all
the time 1.-The ingins will draw the
lrost out Of the pertaters." | spect
1t did, bilt tina pertatsrs too. | tell
you II was a irwin time and ice Oar
ter never-neVer wants any more
lnglns bit on his chist. After the
lnglns got cold Nancy took 'em eff
and concluded the exercise by dren-
chin Joe with some kind of q nasty
powder, ! really believe it was horse
powders. Well under Nancys care
and skillful treatment Joe Darter
still lives. We have no SIGH dis
treesln moose to tel. you this time, as
we had before. We know your rsa-
ders Mister Editor all felt mighty
soIIY for rs In our distrsssin cendi-
tion. We hope none OF EN- will
never GIT their pertstsr holes irozs.
JiSt think Mister Editor we could
not git pertater for nigh onto TWO
days and nights. 1t was trooly
distrsssiu time to hear all the ietle
Dsrtsrs crying for psrtatsrs, and
seem the big drops Of teers runin
down their little face. l tell you
1t was a touchen sight az | never
want to see. Nancy was dreadful
hurt too. Her and the boys hap fit
the pertatsr bugs all summer dread
iul hard, jlst TO have pertsters in The
winter when sass gifts skase. Nancy
is a good pervider. Nancy is a fssrd
that Hampton" got mad first be.
cause we told as how he jinsd the
the RrangerS Nancy says never
mind Hsmpy il she can only cit
pint Of cheap merlasses may be she'll
bake some sweet cakes oneday, and
then she'll send you one, yes she
will for shes got the meal and taller
now. She knows how TO make en-
good aud sweet.
Mister Editor We would list like
to az yeu a question, jist tell us
what Ira Bee means when be saws
that Joe Dartsr" jist opened bis
mouth and spoke Ike Baylums mule?
did be want to insult US by cOmparin
us to a mule? now Mister Editor
Nancy has examined the scripter
kssriul and sns says Mister Baylum
never rode a straddle onto a mule
They didn't have 20 mules in them
days nohoW. Don't Ira Bee aud evrv
body else know that Mister Josh
Billings did Mt invent the mule Til
some time after the reign Of Mister
King Nebuksdrsszsr. Jist lot every
body read Nsttsrsl history and be
convinced Of the facts.
And again Mister Editor Ira Bee
IL dreadful insquiUtivs anyhow.
lie Jist wants 10 know whose Die
tleusry Mister Barter consults
Now we jet want to cay that We
don't know anything about Mmtsr
Barter, but If be means Joe Barter
We can inliRhtsa his curiosity. Joe
Dsrter csnsultS Esncys dictionary.
She got 1t for bein q good child At
sunday scbool.
We haint hserd anything more
dog.
We are a fesrd that the school
Masters instertoot has mis6zzlsd
out, and all Aurosrry will be sadly
dissppiutsd expectations.
1t - now bed tine agd ve must
stop writin, and bid you good night
Trooly and afsotionately,
JoE DARTER
and