The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1878-07-02

The sprinkled precincts of the town
In vain have sprinkled ladies swore
At crossings sprinklingly sprinkled DER;
| In vain the sprightly sprinkiing boots,
Because the sprinkler sprinks his boots;
| That sprinkling sprinkler sprinkles on
| Until It's sprinkling sprink is done,
| Nor pause cen for curse or thank,
Until its final sprink is sprank.
IS. Louis Post.
MORNING RAPPERs-milkmen.
How to get along in the wnrld-walk
A TRANSACTION that scots everybody
taking down the parlor stove for the
season
A New HAVEN man was fined for
calling a policeman. He called him a
id fool.
The potato bugs beat us last year.
Thisyear we have beaten them. We have
planted no potatoes.
GALL flesh is grass, yet very poor
quantity of hay is obtained by cutting
ones friends Whitehall Times.
A BALTIMORE man has invented a
new paper collar, which he calls the
Worm, because it will turn.-Er.
SAYS the wide awake man on the
Rome Sentinel: 'sThe hungry man will
catch at strawberry shortcake."
PARIS has over $4,000 houses. Think
of that when you 90 to the exposition and
want to hunt up John Smith.
GREECE, "Mark O'Bozarris," wasn't
son of the old Sod Cincinnati ,Satur-
Dag Night.
81 DON'T know as I can tell exactly
what Noah's folks lived on" said a boy
to his teacher, "but / guess they had
Ham in the ark every day"
AN acrobat should never be satisfied
with one drink-it takes more than one
swallow to make a spring.-Syacuse
Times.
THE Stamford Advocate, after diligent
search, has discovered that
60 Time is money-therc's something in it
Fer silver dollars are coined in mint"
DIDN'T you always notice that when
you spilled bowl of gravy at dinner,
the attraction Of gravy. tation is strongest
towards your lap?- WhitehaV Times.
A BAREFooTED Syracuse girl kicked
burglar out of house, and an observing
mule went behind the barn and wept.-
Camden Post
A GOOD boy may not become hand
some man, but nice bonnet surely be-
comes pretty oman.--Hackensack Re
publican.
The hymn sung at the Women's Ho-
tel: 81 want mani want mani
want a mansion in the skies."-N. Y.
Graphic.
A VIRGINIA woman refused to marry
bald-headed man, though he was
millionaire. She explained, owed have
family fight some time, and he has no
hair to catch hold of" -. ..
The editor quoted playfully the line,
" Hell hath no fury like woman scorn-
ed" But he answered savagely, You
are mistaken. a rejected contributor is
quite as bad."-Puck.
LADY-"I hope your little grandson
took all that beef tea l sent, Mr.. Stub
bles." Mr.. S." Meier a drop would he
take, mum, and the milk and sugar as
put in, you wouldn't credit"
CA RUSSIAN agent was in Danbury
to buy up lot Of steamships, but fail
ing to complete satisfactory negotiations
he took two shirts from a clothes line
belonging to man named Moriarity,
and returned to Russia. p antuyy Mssls
"MINERvA" sends us a poem in which
the following lines occur: II am sad
and sick and weary. My life is ebbing
away" Instead of sending the poem to
us, she should have sent for physician.
Her liver needs neutrality-suspicious.
{ Pa. Herald.
"OH! said the afflicted wife weeping
over his remains, I" he said be would take
off his fannels anyway, and poor man,
he little thought how soon he would 60
to that place where fannels are never
needed" y Whitehall Times.
The dean of Chichester was select
preacher at Oxford the other day. aye
men of SCIENCE said he, aye men of
science, leave ME my ancestors in Para
disc, and do not grudge you yours in
the Geological Gardens"
A RURAL gentleman standing over
register in Danbury store attracted
general attention to himself by observ-
ing TO his wife, Marian, I guess I am
going to have fever, l feel such hot
streaks running up my back"
A SIXTH avenue shoe dealers ash re-
ceiver is labeled rella.-Mew York
Mail. And Norristown man, of Eng
fish birth, has christened his ash-box
" Westminster Abbey" 1t holds the
"ashes of the CRATE" you know.-Herald.
"NOT one man in a thousand marries
the girl he most wanted" -Erchange.
Yes, but look at the lots of girls who
wanted us, and who didn't marry us.
The JOY of this thought is only equaled
by the sorrow of the thought that an
other girl who wanted us did marry us.
IT has come to light that the little
girls of Pompeii played with jointed
dolls. But unless every other boy in
that buried city owned squawking In
dia rubber whistle, the Pompeiians new
er got a fair conception Of pandenionium
in this life.
WHEN this happy-go-lucky odd world
is 1913, 100000 years old, about twice a
week the newspapers will chronicle the
sorrows of another father and mother
who locked their children in the house,
and then went visiting, returning to find
the house in ashes. And, by the way,
the children also.-Ha,ckeye.
"THE water is too cold yet," sadly
unused the undertaken, yesterday morn
ing, find then his features relaxed and
his eyes frightened as he proceeded more
oiieeTiiy, 81 bit wiseB The Weather gets
warmer, and the swimming season is
fairly opened, children's sizes will go off
fast enough.-&. Louis Journal.