The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-01-24
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

SENSE AND NONSENSE.
THE spendthrift's MOTTO Keep the
dollar rolling
A MINNESOTA man has named his
daughter Minnesota Violet.
If night air is unwholesome, how
about the longevity of owls?
WHAT kind of a bug bites the worst
OF all? We all know. It's a humbug.
The character that needs law to
mend it is hardly worth the tinkcring
process.
SNODGRAss intimstcs that old maids
are "emhers from which the sparks
have fled
mo COWS, no cream" was the way
a compositor set up the words, No
cross, no crown
| BLACK velvet cornices with gilt or
polished brass bindings are the novelty
for window furnishings.
A MAN who had scol,ling wife being
asked what he did for living, replied
that he kept a hot-housc.
"A BRICK in the wall is worth two in
the hat says the experienced Wor-
cester Press Photographer.
In the Detroit Free Press way of
viewing things the only spontaneous
product of this country is 4 mules hind
leg.
| THE Sheriff was a personal friend"
says the Richmond Statc, abiding to a
recent hanging, land male short work
of it,
"HE blushed like Il schoolboy" used
to convey the idea Of extreme modtsty.
The schoolboy of the period never
bushes.
! LIE RIGHT shouted a military
officer to his company. "Well,' grunt-
ed green private, "nobody said you
wasn't right
AN intelligent German thus expressed
his preference for quack-doctor: IL
| vouldn callhim ov mine cat vas deadr'
! Port Chester journal.
SOME Indians use scalping- knives of
tortoise-shcll, probably on account of
| the fable in which the tortoise is alleged
to have got away with the hare.
PAINTER once store did keep,
And he was quite joker:
For when he found hts girl asleep.
lie with yellow ochcr.
IA. kensock Rep M;can.
Il CAN'T play this sonata: it's too
hard, said a Young piano pupil, fret
fully. to her teacher. But you must,'
| replied he: sonata word more about
| it,
THE study of ceramics is a modern
intellectual struggle to find out what
sort OF pictures ancient + Egyptians had
ON their shaving-mugs.-New orleans
Rcoyune.
WHILE growing ut her husband last
summer woman in Chicago was
struck by lightning and instantly killed.
Ladies should paste this paragraph in
thei., hats.
SOMEBODY once said the best way to
get rid of Il good friend was to lend
him five dollars. That was when times
were easy. You can alicnate him now
for fifty cents.
A VISITING kentuckian says that the
secret Ut Chicago's success exists in her
, wondrOus capacity for work. and the
fact that her citizens work harder and
more continuously than any other peo-
ple.''
THE whole number OF any PERSONS
ancestors for fifty generations amounts
to 1882, 749. Ola, 2i4,O46, and it seems as
though some of Ills ought to inherit
more wealth than we do Worcester
Press.
Mis-. CmEF-JusTICE WAITE is re-
ported as saying, when she heard that
the planet Mars has three moons:
think of the young people living in
planet where there is no shady side
of the street at night"
DO YOU believe in the use of the
od. my dear professor?' asked lady
whose children were making life a
burden to all the guests in the hotel.
50 In some eases, madam; but there are
Others" glancing at her gambolling
darlings, "where l prefer the revolv-
err
A ST. Louis girl shook out her stock
ing Christmas morning and was bitter
ly disappointed at finding no presents.
On Il closer examination, however, she
found a splendid upright piano. which
had secreted itself in the extreme end.
(This is the latest Chicago SANDER con-
corning the St. Louis ladies.)
a BOsToN lady, over sixty years of
age, has collected 100000 cancelled
postage stamps, having been offered
for doing so the $500 necessary to OBJ
tain her admission into an hospital of
that city. The stamps till Saratoga
trunk, and will be sent to Europe to be
made up into papier-mache goods.
A YOUNG couple ran away and were
married. Soon after the bride became
repentant, and, returning to her father,
on her knees asked his forgiveness.
"Where is your husband?' inquired
he. why, do YOU really wish to SEE
him?" EYES," he replied, II wish to
thank him for taking you of my
hands,"
A WOMAN is handy thing to have
about the house, the Newport Local
thinks. She doesn't cost any more to
keep than you'll give her, and she'll
take a great interest in you. If you go
out at night, she'll be awake when Y II
get home, and then She II tell you all
about yourself, and more too. OF
course she'll know where you've been,
and what kept you out so late, and
will tell you; yet, right after she gets
through telling you that, she will ask
you where you have been and what
kept You out so late. And after you
tell her, and she won't believe you, you
mustn't mind that; and if, after going
to bed, she says she hasn't closed ner
eyes the whole night. and then keeps
up the matinee two hours longer, and
won't go to sleep when she has a chance,
you mustn't mind that either; it's ler
| nature.
Delusive AnticipatiOns.