Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1878-04-29
Hard to beat-the spring carpet.

Sound MISUNDERSTANDING a telephone.
Little boy at the opening of proposed
spelling match "Let's start fair grand
mother. You take Nebuchadnezzar and
I'll take cat.
"What is wisdom ?" asked teacher
of class of small girls. A bright-eyed
little creature arose and answered: "In-
formation of the brain"
When the Princess Helen was born it
was told the Princess Royal that she had
got young sister. 30, that is delight
full" cried the innocent royalist "do
let me 90 and tell mamma p'
A New York lady was asked to join
one of the divisions of the Daughters of
Temperance. She replied, This is un-
necessary, as it is my intention to join
one of the sons in the course of few
weeks"
A Yankee humorists was giving an
account of his experience as hotel
keeper. Ibid you clear anything by
it 2" asked listener. 81 cleared a
six-rail fence getting away from the
sheriff" was the answer.
An Irishman with heavy bundle on
his shoulder, riding on the front of a
horse car was asked why he didn't set
the bundle on the platform. He replied,
"lndade the horses have load enough,
I'll carry the bundle"
One was Baptist and the other was
a COngregationalist. The waiter asked
them what they'd order. "a little dip
ped toast" said the Baptist. "You may
give me toast also." said the Congrega.
tionalist, very carefully. "but don't dip
it-sprinkle it with little butter"
"My dear !' she remarked through
the telephone that ran to her husband 8
office, ''you ought to be spanked for not
changing your shirt this morning" But
as her husband was out at that moment
the young book-keeper who received the
message didn't feel like keeping up the
dialogue.
"Here's my wife and l." said a hus.
band, with much complacency, to his
silver wedding guests, 'who have been
married 6ve-and-twenty years, and IN all
that time haven't had a single unkind
word with one another" "By Jove =
exclaimed one of the guests, '.what q
stupid time you must have had of it,
The fve-years-old daughter of an
Eighth street family the other day stooc
watching her baby brother who was max
ing a great fuss over having his fac,
washed. The little miss at length los
her patience, and stamping her tiny foo
said: "You think you have lots o
trouble, but you don't know anything
about it. Wait till you're big enough
to get a lickin' and then you'll see
won't he mamma?"
A visit to some Of the large shoe man
ufactories confirms the belief that tn
working men and women of Lynn are
as class, superior in intelligence to tn
factory operatives elsewhere. We d
not forget that one of our honored poet
was disciple of St. Crispin before b
found his higher vocation. We wer
shown the spot where William Lloy,
Garrison worked at the shoemaker
bench in early life. An anecdote vii
} perhaps best illustrate the idea we wis
to give the reader. When Governo
: Chase was Secretary of the Treasury
visited Lynn. His expressed wish t
, become better acquainted with an indu,
try which contributed so largely to th
resources of the national Treasury wa
Immediately gratifed. On entering th
work-room of one of the large manufa,
tories, where regiment of male and f,
, male operatives were busy with the
tasks, he was accosted by workman
who proceeded to deliver. on behalf
: his fellows, an address of welcome, whicl
for felicity of expression, elegance
diction, and general fitness for the ex
gency of the moment, surprised the di
tinguished guest. Turning to those wi
8 stood near him, the Secretary exclaime
THAT man a workman He ought
h. a, no~~-.on ILL.,