Connecticut western news., 1878-11-27
WIT AND WISDOM.

-Hungary would be all right were It +, not for her miserable Diet
 One needn't be an early bird now to catch the worm. Buy glass of chest nuts.
 --"T To what base use do we come at last ?" as the shingle said to the upturned boy. .-.. ,.,.,.s. ....s.,.. usis3
 When man begins to take off his coat and vest at you it is sign that he q is resorting to the court of peels. a
 The borrowing fiend, who is always o little short of change, is an enemy to s, whom no quarter should be shown. sset
 Tt is the liar who wants to knock 70 you down for doubting his word. The ,i honest man will stop to argue matters. Y
 After paying England that five andspt half millions we shall realize, as neverlvO before, that the mackerel is-a O. O.yD.-orf fish. a .t sa Wfl "A ia
 A Toronto magistrate decides thatlua button-holing man in the street is as-A., saulting him, if he objects to being but ~, ton-holed. .... -E.a -,e' AasY
 A patent medicine advertisement sl. says fat is not conducive to long life 1a That is so. A fat hog rarely lives through, '- the winter.
 A philosopher when smitten must love those who smite him, as if he were the father and brother of all men.-z Eoictet,ts. a.l Aab rga
 Whatever people may think of you, do that which you believe to be right, i Be alike indifferent to censure or praise. 70 -Pythagoras. tr t.yi
 The moment we feel angry in con troversy we have already ceased striving Ba for truth and begun striving for our-tai selves. -Cdrlyle. 4ts etrtslia-
 -"What constitutes the chief happi- ,., ness of your life ?" asked serious Sum day-school teacher. She blushed and then replied, "It is that John has at ' last fixed the day." &3 1nla a Some of our exchanges are printing long articles about wax-producing tr ees. sf But, strangely enough, they omit to mention the birch, which has produced more whaeks than any other variety. a ,'. The triumphs of truth are the most glorious, chiefly because they are the most bloodless ot all vlctor1es, der1vInga1s their hightest lustre from the number of the saved, not of the slain. -C0ttois.i
 A gentleman at Madison, Wis, xg voted due bill instead of ticket The election judges declined to let him vote hs again, but found the document when ip making the count and returned it to him.iiv
 William V. Taylor has been left ! $I00, ,0O0 on condition that he marriesmp before he becomes of age. He Is nowI"a twenty, and is understood to have made1sb no choice. His postofice address is 2 Whitehall, N. Y. i-ga ao'itis
 Sleep, thou repose of all things 1; sleep, thou gentlest of the deities, thou peace of the mind from which care fiiesa;;9 i who dost soothe the hearts of men
 wearied with the tolls of the day andre fttest them for labor.-O0id. 2 n'aRetaff 1 A physician, finding lady reading "Twelfth Night, said When Shakes 1 peare wrote about Patience on a amonu-HE ment, did he mean doctors patients ?" r "No," she answered "you don't find them on monuments, but under them.''ai Scene in Police Court: "Pris-rE oner, how many barrels of po'a' oes did you say you stole?" Seven, yer Honor three yesterday and two to- ! day" "Well, but that's only fivesass "Och! sure I'm goin' for the others ' whin git out O this p 3a s4iltw
 Professor W, in composition class |: "You may have for one of your subjects for your next essay, Manners.9 z N, '9I: "Can we write on the bad manners in college ?" Professor WAA-: d ooh, certainly, write about whatever you arc best acquainted with" 2ei
 -Talmage says he likes boys, but not ] that kind brought up in parlors who X, had kind parents to care for them, but boys who did not know how to keep a 2. uuiet-those who knew how to skate, and swim and row, and fly kites, and @ could defend feeble playmates. x d .}
 At an auction art sale the other day gt a marine view was about to be knocked down at handsome figure, when bluff sailor, who had happened to wander in, ja exclaimed |" My stars, if there aint 6 3 vessel drifting on to the rocks with & strong breeze blowing off shore !" The P artist took his work home to rearrange q the wind. @a.9s
 -Dobbs pleasantly sat down at break fast the other morning, and his loving wife said Darling, does your head ss ache ?" He replied with sufficient dig nity, "No; why should you askr' And : she said back "Well, dear, you came q in at three o'clock this morning, and 'as A '. you couldn't hang your hat on therack,
 you put the rack down on the floor, and ' said you'd hang every hat in the house q on it; and I thought your head might ache" According to French paper, there T was exhibited at the Centennial patent ! }, music-stool containing, concealed in the seat, steel blade and strong spring Il 1 worked by clock-work. When a speENa'i former is asked to play the hostess call ee culates how many minutes the audience sD will listen to him, winds up the clock a'l work and sets'ft Ut 3' 10, l5 norAs' 20. "-s ) If the artist exceeds his time by second the spring is released. As the Figaro aa