Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1878-03-09
Alefanoria 6az&tte
SATURDAY EVENING, MAROH9.
Cured by Cremation.

|
two or three days. At least she said she was'
but these attacks came rather frequently, Boggs
thought, for when his wife was having one or
her off spells, be had to cook the meals and DO
all the house work. We don't remember what
| particular state the weather was in this lass
time, but Mrs. Boggs was under 1t very oad.
She even told Boggs that she dId. OF believe
she was ever going to get out OF It, ana sue
| made hystericai request that he bury, her IN
some sunny spot where the Diros m'gns oo!no
and sing to her, and she made him promise
that he would bring flowers ouce week and
scatter them over her grave. A dozen tunes
that day was Boggs called from his work in tha
kitchen to bid last farewell to his dying wife.
but still she fingered. He had been through
this experience q great many times before, 81
be wasn't as muoh alarmed as he might other'
wise have been.
That night as he sat watching, like the af'
fectionate husband ho was, at her bedside,
she saw that he was deeply engrossed 10 y
book.
"What book are you reading, dear?" she
family asked.
"A railroad guide, my love- was the reply;
"What do you want with railroad guide {!
she inquired.
II want to sec how far it is TO Washington.
Pennsylvania, and how the trains run, SAID
Mr.. Boggs.
She would have asked him what he had to
DO With Washington, Pennsylvania, but ne
got up aud went out and she tell into dcz',
the inclination to which she didn't oaro 10
repress, even though it delayed the tDal de-
parture that she had so often prated ABOUT
When she awoke she saw Boggs bending
over her with candle. lie evidently hadne
observed that she was awake. 80 closing ner
eyes she feigusd sleep and overheard the fos,
lowing soliloquy, which sufficiently explained
to her now thoroughly awakened senses his To-
ouiry of the railroad guide about the route to
Washington, Pennsylvania: Splendid subject
for oreamation-a little soraggy Mrs. Boggs
fopers worked neryously under the bed clothes
and she had hard work to keep from flying at
him), but the scraggy ones inclnerate qulckerr
than the fat ones, the doctor says. She could
be creased if necessary to make her 90 quicker.
Think I'll send her up by express, as ID
too busy u the store to get away. her
ashes osn be forwarded to mo in an envelope
through tho mail. Iii know them laudlole
chuckle.) They'll be under the weather
every few weeks and want to die. And
they'll ask me to bury them in, some sunny
spot where the birds can come and sing 70 en:
i IL eonQ WOrQ 10 LIT. Ae noyuo w nAu" ~ ~
for her-she has kept things hot enough tor me-
And I'll tell him to lot all tho reporters 10, so as
to give her good send off through the papers
and whoop or up Liza Jane. Sorry can't oe
there to stir her up myself, and
A thrilling, ear piercing scream came from
the woman under the weather, and with Donna
sufficient to land her on top of any weather that
ever lived, che sprang out Of bed and had boggs
by the ear in flash, while she fairly screamed:
you'll cremste me, will you, you bald head
ed old. reprobate You'll send nv scraygy
body up TO Washington by express giving hls
ear wiring between santelces,) and tell tnat
wicked old wretch, LIE Moyne. to make it not
for mo; {; and you II have my ashes sent to you IN
In letter Growing more and more wrathy ana
humping him over the head with the candle
stick she had snstched away from his hand) ana
bury me in some sweet sunny spot \Wnsck-i
where the birds may come and sing (oangl y
and you want the reporters there (oang) 10
whoop'er up Liza Jane (boom ID On, you mean,
wretched, wicked old man, youi III live
hundred years 10 spite you, see il don't
Then she pushed Boggs out OF the door ana
boted it. and he had to make up. bunk on Ihe
kitchen floor that night, next to the stove. But
peculiar smile played about Bogg0' face, even
when he was rubbing the sore spots on his bald
head, and he murmured softly to himself
"Guess I've cured her Of them spells for one
while"
Mrs. Boggs hasn't beon under the weather
since but mention of the word cremation drives
her wild.-Gncinnaf Saturday Night.