Connecticut western news., 1878-10-30
WIT AND WISDOM.


 A Son-net-Your neighbours pretty daughter.
 The greatest strike of the day twelve o'clock.
 What mockery to tell man whose overcoat is in pawn to keep cool.
 If empty vessels make the most noise, there is storage room in most modern politicians.
 As the Sandwich Islander believes that the strength and valor of the enemy he kills passes into himself, 80 we gain the strength of the temptations VIC resist.
 -" When a mans chin whiskers turn gray before the hair on his head does, it shows which part of him has done tho most york;" observes a philosophical exchange.
 The Breaktast Table says: Bob Ingersoll is said to have made $60, 900 out of his lectures on hell. Hell has not yet commenced on Bob, but will get in its work later.
 Editors are generally poorly of for clothing. When you hear of one of them having two suits, you can calculate that one is the suit he wears every day and Sundays, too, and the other is . libel suit.
 There are always two classes of men among our acquaintances whom we never trust. The first consists of those whom we don't know enough about, and the second of those whom we know too much about.
 The ice water tank has lost its charms, and until the stove is put up and the herring box opened for the winter, the grocery store will lack that delightful geniality and coseyness 70 dear to the local statesman.
 Who is the natural beauty, who advances with so much gracep The rose is on her cheeks, her breath is pure as morning dew, joy tempered. with mod-- esty animates her countenance. It iS Health, the daughter of Exercise and Temperance.
 -The finest tribute to departed wife which we have seen for many year was that engraved on tombstone by a bro- ken-hearted husband, who can never hope to repair his loss "We were mar ried twenty-four years, and in all that time she never once banged the door,"
 Temptation is fearful word. It indicates the beginning of a possible series of infinite evils. It is the ringing of an alarm bell, whose melancholy sounds may revibrate through eternity. Like the sudden, sharp cry of ''fre l" in the night, it should rouse us to instan- taneous activity, and brace every muscle to it's highest tension. '
 The Breakfdst Table says: A man may be riotous old patriot on election day, and swear that the country is going to the dogs unless his party wins; but if ho losos, ho is moro than apt to come up next morning and say that the result was a matter of no importance, as no principle was involved.
 -" Prisoner at the bar," said the judge, "is there anything you wish to say before sentence Is passed upon you?" The prisoner looked wistfully toward the door, and remarked that he would like to say "good evening"" if it would be agreeable to the company. But they wouldn't let him.
 At q recent Sunday-school concert the superintendent was talking about idols, when, to ascertain whether the children were understanding what he was saying, he asked: "Children, what is an idol?" "Being lazy" was the loud and quick response of one of the members of the juvenile class.
 Once in while preacher of com mon sense throws 0 hot shot into the camp of the perrectionists. You dinna tell us enough about renounclng our ain righteousness" said a critic of this stamp to Dr. Risk. The Doctor shrugged his shoulders and replied, bluntly, "l never have noticed that ye had any to renounce."
 AS SOON JOho OA "Ao AAAeAAAA Secretary of the Navy, the papers arc telling that, when he was inspecting war-ship at the Philadelphia Navy Yard, it was thought proper to show him the depth of the vessel by removing one of the hatches; when, to the astonish ment of all present, be exclaimed: Why, the old thing is hollow 1"
 Says Pat to his girl, "By the Powers,
 canondhrum I hev fur ye, dear!
 Why are ye like the goddess of fiowersf
 Sure ye nivir will guess it, fear!
 "The ansor I'll be afther givin,
 Now thin, dye mind, me swate Nora
 It's two shtories high ye are Twin,
 That makes ye rale second Floral"
 A young man who had been ex- pected for some time to "propose," but whose difidence had kept him back, was astonished by his father saying to him, as he set off for his sweetheart's residence one evening: "John, you'd better take the screw-driver along with vou this time." "What fort" ex- claimed John. "So as to screw up your courage little," answered Pater. When John came home that night, hes said I've done it, father"