Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1878-05-29
Long Engagements.

Some long engagements langush until
few and brief letters tell the too trustful
Dido that her hero is cooling In his attach
ment. A determined attitude and violent
outbreak on the lady's par1 will frequent
ly reclaim the laggard in the spirit of the
Terentan aphorism. But it may qnite as
easily produce a lifelong rupture, and
engender wretchedness with many pain
iui memories Tor both. A polite woman
can generally tell To which tide the bal
ance will incline. An alienation after
three years courtshp was, in one case
within our experience, followed by a
happy marriage after the same period of
silence; while in another case the breach
was rendered irreparable by one of the
parties marrying u fresh love. How far
the separation OF twin-souls is ustifiable
after years of engaged life. is a question
often raj ed. The point is nice enough
to have exercised the skill of Addison's
love casuist. An instance lately came to
our knowledge in which the lady after
complaceutly resting in an engagement
OF actually twenty years, had the strength
of mind to refuse matrimony when pressed
upon her, and strengthened beyond any
reasonable objection by the acquisition OF
the long coveted rectory and four hun
dred year, on the plea that her health
was now not equal to marriage. Or
course the unfortunate lover warmly ex-
postulated and expressed his entire will
ngness to take the lady, spite of her
health, but it was OF no avail. We are
of opinion that he was grievously
wronged, and hold that woman who
should draw back after so antediluvian
period of betrothal is as tickle as II she
had broken her troth a year after the en-
gagement commenced. Having ''turtled''
it so long. (to use the words of Prince In
the case of Devon worthy.) it is unlike
y, to say the least of it, that he could
procure second mate beside which, his
confidence in woman's love must be con-
siderably shaken, and he is probably glad
to find the sentiments OF Euripides and
Milton on misogyny so much in harmony
with his own. The offending lady in
such a case may rest assured that she has
not only made man miserable who de-
served a much better fate, but has also
created determined enemy OF her own
sex. A long engagement thus unfortu-
nately terminated is worse for them than
no engagement at all.
1t causes general mistrust. The man,
il iaithless, can at present be visited with
legal penalties, besides which the nobler
sex is credited with a universal liking to
'be off with the old love-" by women.
Therefore an occasional instance OF treach-
cry by man during long engagement
seems nothing out Of the way. But when
the woman abjnres matrimony, and deems
herself too good or too bad, as the case
may be, "ior human natures daily food,n
the very foundations OF that mutual love
and trust which subsist between engaged
people are broken down.
Ii has often been disputed whether long
engagements are the best preliminary TO u
happy marriage. Doubtless there is less
OF passion and more OF deep-tried affec-
tion in the marriage that closes long en-
gagement. But this is compensated by
the parties having long since acquired
thorough knowledge OF each other tastes
and tempers, so that many quicksand
and shoal that might at the outset wreck
other ventures upon the sea OF matrimOny
is skillfully avoided. The pair have had
opportunities OF bringing their hearts into
harmony which are denied to those who
have married after a hasty cOurtship.
They have in fact enjoyed foretase of
that deep and settled confidence in each
other which forms so large part Of the
happiness of marriage. For, whatever
sceptics may say to the contrary, long en-
gagement faithfully kept on both sides,
is productive of much enjoyment always
provided that reasonable hope of matri-
mony attends it. Affection aud the penny
post annihilate space and time. Love
hovers by the betrothed pair. and waves
his purple wings and upholds the torch.
If a protracted engagement possesses Gas
does every state of ife) its own disablli-
ties, what other condition can vie with it
as far as regards the charms OF hope
Behind lies a desert, the time during
which the devoted pair did not know each
other; but In front spreads an enchanted
land London Week.