Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1878-08-14


Every cal has fur coat and every
dog pants. Post.
The mosqlito, like charity, begins to
hum. Chinbo Inter Ocean.
The direct on, G. o. D., was explained
by New York 'gamin' to mean:
"Come Omnfdiately Down.
Fashionable mother: MARIA, I'm al
most discouraged; how many times
have I told Yu not to say later, but per-
tater?" Isf
Domestic Darwinism-N Natural Selec-
ton: marrying for love. Struggle for
Existence: marrying without money
Punch.
Il like 10 make sponge CAKE" she
said, innoctntly; "it makes my hands
SO clean."- Boston Transcript.
1t is the Silent watches Of the night
that render alarm clocks necessary.
Cincinnati Saturday Night.
Russia firtis nearly all her dreams of
absolute poyer in Eastern Europe Dis
raelized.-Qncinnoti Commercial
Any mar pays too much for his
whistle whel he has to wet it fifteen or
twenty timeS day.-Saturday Night.
II a hole made in wall by cannon
ball is calledh breach, would two such
holes make a pair of-oh! good gra-
cious
Husband I must have some change
to-day. Will, stay at home and take
care of the children; that will be change
enough for one day.
AS they passed gentleman whose
optics were terribly on the bias, little
Dot murmuied: "Ma, he's got one eye
that don't gd."-Syrac,lse Times.
"Will you please insert this obituary
notice" asked an old gentleman OF y
country editor; "the deceased had a
great many friends about here who'd be
glad to hear of his DEATH"
An Indian girl made 5000 dollars last
year raising broom corn. How much
better than raising family in fear of
the broom handle.
In speaking of a baby ladies often ex-
claim: ooh! isn't it too sweet for any,
thing" This is all a mistake. No baby
is too sweet for paregoric.
Bachelors it is ascertained, do not, as
general thing, live so long as married
men. This calculation excludes mar
ried men with red-headed wifes.
There are so few marriages to per-
form nowadays that the clergyman
should offer chromos to encourage par
ties to enter the state of matrimony.
Lady (giving an apple to little boy):
"Give this apple to the one of us tire g
here whom you think the handsomest."
The boy looked for moment at all
three ladies, took the apple and-ate it.
Tshould just like to see somebody
try to abduct me-" said Mrs. Smith at
the breakfast-table the other morning.
"H'm so should I, my dear-so should
l." said Mr.. Smith with exceeding
nestness.-Butalo Express.
"The cat in Gloves" said Franklin,
"catches no MICE" Indeed no; not
she. When the cat is able to wear
gloves she can afford to buy her mice,
ready dressed and cooked. Bully for
the cat in gloves.-B,rlSngtom Ha,ukeye.
A boy at school, on being asked to
describe kitten, said, GA kitten is re-
markable for rushing like mad at moth.
ing whatever, and stopping before it
gets there. Judy.
"He's man after my own heart"
exclaimed an impulsive young lady,
some time since. 'Pshaww exclaimed
her practical old father, "He's q man
after the money your Uncle Jacob left
you?" ..
Why pay 800 for photograph,
when 81 so judiciously invested in ice
cream, the coming summer, and two
bushels of turnips in the fall for mar
rage certificate, will give you life
lease on a talking machine that never
requires any tin foil ON the cylinder
escapement? Young man, these are
times for the practice of economy, and
you should rehect.-Chicago Post.
Miss Nellie Dagget has opened bar.
Der shop in Boston, and the excitement
is intense in consequence. She is pref
ty and neat, and it is n well-known fact
that women can shave far better than
men can, if they set themselves abou,
it. The young men of the locality
have their hair cut several times week
and are thinking seriously of the needs
of their eye-teeth and gums. The ole
men are having their faces and chins
nearly shaved off, and are using hail
restoratives with a prodigality really
frightful.
A Chemical Triumph.