Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1878-03-17
Cured by Cremation.

Cured by Cremation.
Mrs Boggs had been under the we ather
for two or three Gays. At least she said
she was, but these attacks came rather
frequently, Boggs thought, for when his
wife was having one Of her off spells he
had TO cook the meals and do all the house
work. We don't remember what partic
ular state the weather was in this last
time, but Mrs. Boggs was under it, and
she was under it very bad. She even told
Boges that she didn't believe she was ever
going TO get up out Of it, and she made
an hysterical request that he bury her in
some sunny spot where the birds might
come and sing to her, and she made him
promise that he would bring flowers once
a week and scatter them over her grave.
A dozen times that day was Boggs called
from his work in the kitchen to bid last
farewell to his dying wife, but still she
perience a great many times before, so he
wasn't SO much alarmed as he might other
wise have been.
That night as he sat watching, like
the affectionatc husband he was, at her
bedside, she saw that he was deeply en-
crossed IN a book.
What book are you reading, dear?" she
family asked.
a railroad guide my love-" was the
reply.
.'What do you want with a railroad
guide?" she inquired
{. | want to see how far it is to Wash
ington, Pa, and how the trains rum" said
Mr. Boggs.
She would have asked him what he
had to do with Washington Pa, but he
got up and went out and she fell into a
tloze, the inclination to which she didn't
care TO repress, even though it delayed
the final departure that she so often
prated about. When she awoke she
saw Boggs bending over her with a candle.
He evidently hadn't observed that she
was awake, SO closing her eyes she
feigned sleep and overheard the follow
ing soliloquy, which sufficiently explained
to her now-thoroughly- awaknled senses
mis- inquiry of the railroad guide about
the route to Washington, Pa: "Splen-
did subject for cremation-a little scragg-
gv" (Mrs. Boggs' fingers worked nerv-
ously under the bed clothes AID she had
hard work to keep from flying at him),
but the scraggy ones incinerate quicker
than the fat ones, the doctor says. She
could be creased if necessary to make
her 60 quicker. Think I'll send her up
by express, as Nm too busy in the store &c
get away. Her ashes can be forwarded
to me in any envelope through the mail
I'll know them y (audible chuckle>
s'They'l be under the weather every few
weeks and want to die. And they'll ask
me to bury them in some sunny spot
where the birds can come and sing to 'em
I'll send word to DR.. lie Aloyne to make
it hot for her-she has kept things hot
enough for me.
And so I'll tell him to let all the re-
porters IN, SO as to give her good send
off through the papers, and whoop 'er ur
Liza Jane. Sorry can't be there to still
herup myself, and
A thrilling ear-piercing scream came
from the woman under the weather, and
with a bound sufficient to land her on
top of any weather that ever lived, she
sprang out of bed and had Boggs by the
ear in flash, while she fairly screamed
you'll cremate me, will you,you bald
headed old reprobate! You'll send my
scraggy body up to Washington by ex.
express giving his ear ring between
sentences): :'and tell that wicked old
wretch, LIE Moyne, to make it hot for me
and you'll have my ashes sent to you il
a letter" growing more and more wrathy
and humping him over the head will
the candlestick she had snatched away
from his hand) 'sano bury me in some
sweet, sunny spot" (whacky swhere tn
birds may come and sing'' lbingD ssant
you want the reporters there (bang) ct
whoop'er up Liza Jane (boom)! "Oh
YOU mean, wretched, wicked old man
you! I'll live ahundred years to spite you
see ifI don't!"
Then she pushed Boggs out Of the doc
and bolted it, and he had to make up
bunk on the kitchen floor that night, mex
to the stove. But peculiar smile play
ing about Boggs's face, even when he wa
rubbing the sore spots on his bald heac
and he murmured softly to himself
"Guess I've cured her of them spells fc
one while"
Mrs. Boggs hasn't been under tn
weather since, but mention of the wor
cremation drives her wild.-CsncSana
Saturday Ni0ht