Smyrna times., 1878-04-24
Chowder.
Ship bred : Sailors.

Shlpbred Sailors.
Money syllables-I O U.
r Made Of all work Shoes.
Evening preyers: Burglars.
Slay ride: cavalry charge.
A stalk holder: The flower Dot.
Bill bored A woodpecker's nest.
Reseeding westward: The Changers.
Japan's national debt is $35O,OOO,OOO.
April showers bring forth May flowers.
Kansas is gaining fifty new citizens psr
day. '~-"' P''
Chicago has about 1900 licensed express.
men.
A new publications. Tract, by detec,
The hangman's vegetable: The art o.
choke.
keepsie.
Corn descenson: A fall in the grain
market.
How to make both ends meet-Tie 'sm
together WI
Prejudice squints when it looks and lies
when it talks
Song of the eleomargarine men: ain tho
suet by and by"
When is a prisoner like a gun? When
he is discharged.
One may do without mankind. but ora
has need Of a friend
The proximate cause of badness Is
| close hat.-Dt0 Le,cs.
Maine had one divorce 10 every twelve
marriages during 1877.
One forgves everything to him who for.
gives himself nothing.
A wise man never grows old in spirit.
ne marches with the age.
Dark green window shades are used nv
the best house furnishers.
California salmon are gradually being in.
troducsd into the Delaware.
At Lafayette, Ind, funeral, lately. six
young ladies were pail bearers.
The character of men in our army is
higher than it has been for years.
General Grant while abroad maintains a
constant correspondence with Gen. Sher.
man.
Difference between church organist and
the influenza: One stops the nose and
the other knows the stops.
Almost every young lady nowadays, it
has been remarked seems to be given to
building castles in the (h)airs.
An unpoetical Yankee has described
ladies' lips as the glowing gateways of pork.
beans, sauerkraut and potatoes.
The sudden start of horse car threw
lady, who was standing, into gentleman's
lap, whereupon a newsboy cried out,
" There's lap-lander."
sailor who jumped overheard to save
another was asked if he was fit to die al
could not be more fit" he replied, by de-
clining to do my duty"
So the mints are ordered to buy silver.
Now come on with your old family teapots
and knee buckles, and get them coined
into verltable dollars of your dads.
The demand for trade dollars contin.
ues," says an exchange Well, we should
say so. The demand for all kinds of dol.
lars in these parts is away ahead of the
supply.
AhO ShdldSbcT vi wise man consists IN
.hree things: To do himself what he tells
others do; to act on no occasion contrary
20 Justice; and to bear with the weakness
)f those about him.
loving husband at Louisville telegraphed
o his wife in New York as follows "What
lave you for breakfast, and how is the
'aby" The answer came back Buck.
Theat cakes and the measels."
1t is said that miserliness causes more
aims than hunger, because the man who
oesnt know where he is to get his dinner
1tfers less than he who worries about what
is dinner is going to cost him.
An enthusiastic editor wrote after the
invention, "The battle is now opened :"
ut alas the intelligent compositor spelt
battle" with an "o," and his readers saw
ley have suspected it all along.
BROKE, Bur HoPEFUL.-The Kansas fever
raging with violence in the interior of
and immigrants in all con.
tlons OF life are striking for arabic lands
that vast State to grow up and grow rich
tn the country.
Three hundred and eighty patents and
Idemarks were issued by the United
ltes patent Office last Wednesday, a
mber not equaled for years, and which
regarded as an indication of reviying
siness.
In view of the recent train robberiss in
xas the railroad companies are arming
'ir employees, and the Postofice Depart
mt has forwarded to the War Depart.
mt a suggestion looking to the arming of
tOfice employees on the same roads.
IN EMBRYO PoET.-A little girlaeieht
RS of age perpetrated the following criti-
II on the new dollar on its first presen-
on to her, which brought her another
n her father:
On the one side.theres buzzard
With body dreadful thin;
On the other the face Of a woman