The New York herald., 1878-11-05
THE LEGION OF HONOR.
SAD MIsADvENTURE OF THE cHEvAIIER VIII
KINs.
From the Pail Mall Gazette.l

kINS.
From the Pail Mall Gazette.l
In the long list of people who prizes at the
Paris Exhibition many Englishmen must have been
proud to read the name of Toby wilkins, Esq, or
Mistborough, honored with a gold medal for his
patent self acting feeding bottle comfort 70 mothers
and infants as the advertisements truly describe It,
Mr. wilkins was, however. originally set down for
something better than gold medal He was TO nave
been publicly decorated with the Cross of the
Legion of Honor in the sight of all nations at the
grand distribution Of awards in the Palace OF the
Trocadero.
why was he bahed of this well earned sat
tsfaction The Aistborouga Gazette had al
ready announced his coming promotion
in fattering terms. wilkins himself had
paused knights helmet to be etpblazoned
pver his shop front and on his trade mark and Mrs.
wilkins. with pardonabe illusion TO the titles
conferred by foreign orders of knighthood had be-
gun to deliberate whether. the wife Of a
"chevalier." she ought not to call herself Lady
wilkins, and so put to shame her good friend Mrs
Hopkins who was continually boasting her descent
rom former mayor of Mistborough knghted by
the most religious and gracious King George w.
Sad is it to say that Hopkins, bosom friend to
Wilkins. took vugarly jocular view OF the French
borough Corn Exchange; but this was only
because he had failed to get the red
ribbon himself.
bootblacker had with the same honorable notice
as wilkins feeding bottles, Hopkins would not have
been mighty facetious in his sa!lies against re-
publicans and frogs He would not have gone about
calling wilkins ..Mssoo expressed his opinion
that the French silly sort OF people because
they spelled their bread pain and pronounced it
..pang' instead of having the good sense to call
1t bread at 1t is much TO be feared
that this Hopkins was low person. but the fault
partially his wife s. who goaded him to believe that
Wilkins could only have pushed his feeding bottles
forward by crying down the bootblackers. All TINS
go taa1., h...a MrG
TO have coat of arms call herself lady and to be
presented at the Court Of Marshal lars MacM.hon.
But to return to wilkins. He first advised to
"try for the Legion by affable gentleman who ac-
costed him one evening 1T the Exhoimon rev rev
brought over Mr. and Mrs. wilkins to Paris
DIT their third visit to the gay capital this season
and they dining at the Hungarian restaurant to
the sound of wild string music when the gentleman
above mentioned came. hat in hand. and introduced
himself as Baron Kelkun who had it in his power to
obtain medals other honors for exhibitors
who gave him carte blanche to take the necessary steps,
Such offers are usually suspicious, but this baron
made his good faith apparent at once by saying that
he could do nothing without money. and that his
charges would depend upon the nature OF the digni-
ties which Mr.. wilkins might desire. He was very
polite man. who accepted place at Wilkins table,
and at dessert drew out list from which he read
the of decorations easy 10 procure just as II
they many cheap shearies which he wanted
to sell. They were the crosses OF the Saviour OF
Greece Isabella the Catholic of Spain; the Annon-
clad of PERU, the Santa Conception OF Guatemala,
&C., in all about dozen. But there were more hon
ors in reserve for the Baron, turning page. in
formed the astonshed Wilkins that he could get him
the diploma of doctor of medicine from Gessen, in
Eesse: commission as colonel in the Honduras
army, a marquisate of the Republic Of San Marino.
vote of thanks as national benefactor with
letters of grand naturalization from the negro Para-
ment of Hayti. Note that all this while the
string band was playing like mad, and that
Wilkins. having drunk rather more Burgundy
than was good FOR him. felt in mood
for purchasing all the honors on the programme.
with docorship Of theology Of the Rcnss University
into the bargain just TO prove that his were
dot wholly of this earth. Mrs. wilkins, however
who, though little gddied too. kept her wits about
her suggested that it would be as well to know the
price of these honors, and hereon Baron Kelkun
swered, "a hundred Thousand francs for the lot"
"a GREAT MUCH, owEvER.
wilkins ana spouse ieil oaa' ~ ths say LOT
claimed the polite Baron, "give me lO,OO0f down,
and I'll get you the Legion Of Honor. which. to
gether-though shouldn't own it to any one but
you" Wilkins turned pale for E4o0 is also tidy
lump" Mrs. Wilkins whispered with mistrustful
glance toward the Baron but this nobleman pro-
ceeded TO state how matters stood The French gov
ernment had decreed that 300 crosses should be given
away. and there had been q 900 applicants for them
This made it necessary for the government to
"winnow fine" that ultimately. no doubt. gold
medals and the bigger silver ones would alone remain in
the sieve. Now Wilkins gold medal and this con-
sttuted his chance-a very slender chance ut best.
The Baron would answer for nothing All he could
say was that so far human probabilities went. he
might with 10.0OM. set the proper wires in mo-
tion and the cross to fall on NJ Wilkins bosom
Poor Wilkins in confused state OF mind partly
owing TO the string music and burgundy, as above
said but he still lucid enough to sticke for his
own interests in question Of money, and his wife
was lucider. ..Ekootsy Mossoo." said she to the
Baron. ..Donnay-noo the knghthood whats the
French for knishthood. Tooy0, donnay-donnay.
before. We're not so foolish Mossoo. We'll, well,
muttered the Baron, and he hesitated moment. but
then concluded the bargain. They all three shook
hands, but the whole wilkins was disappointed.
In his ignorance of foreign ways he had hoped TO get
the star of Greece the doctorhp Of Giessc and the
mar Of
two.
TORY OR NOT TOBY.
Let MS not make this story too long. week later
wilkins and wife, who still in Paris enjoying
themselves at the Grand HOTEL received note from
the stating that his negotiations had been sue
cessful NJ wilkins might see by the accompanying
newspaper which announced his forthcoming knight
hood on lts troht page ~ aree pte,,;oonca and -
salt Jokes which happily neither Mr.. wilkins could
read nor Mrs. W. understand. figured q paragraph
which not difficult TO decipher and which stated.
In effect that ''the Esquire Toby Wilkins patenee OF
The selfacting feeding bottle comfort to mothers
and infants was TO be decorated in acknowledgment
of the benefits he had conferred humanity
Now any decent couple OF English folks read
ing an announcement OF such importance IN
Parisian daily paper would naturally conclude that
II was as Trustworthy though 1t had appeared in
London daily paper and the Wilkins pair thought
Mrs w. at returned to Marlborough 10 vex the
souls Of the Hopkins family by her heraldic prepa
rations and wilkins remained in Paris to await his
Kelkun as to the payment Of those 10.Ooof; for,
second thoughts, he would have been glad
30 acquit this bill in kind by giving the
Baron 1000 selfactng feeding-bottles The Baron
declined this arrangement. the ground that
he was quite competent TO feed himself. as he
remarked with smirk; and be 80 plagued wilkins
by his daily Cummings that our Marlborough friend
was glad TO get rid Of him ut last with check.
But abominable thing occurred II was
quite true that had sent in application
for the cross in wilkins aud that the request
had becn courteousy entertained by the French gov
ernment; but he had forgotten 20 mention that no
decorations are bestowed British subjects except
the recommendation Of their Embassy. the which
ls given in cases of military service.
One day calling at the Exhibition Commissioners
office 10 know when his lctters-pntent were coming
the abashed wilkins informed that the Foreign
Secretary having applied 20 Lord Lyons to know
whether IL would be agreeable IN Her Majesty
toria that M wilkins should be decorated. the
received that this would not be agreeable to Her
Majesty. why why, what have done to the QueenY'
suffered wilkins scarce believing his surely,
nothing" replied the Commissioner; but these are
your laws" And 80 they proved TO be; for though