davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06
FUN FLASHES.

TO make pun that win be relished abroad
it should be homespun.
The man who consulted the goose-bone
to find out the weather, thought he found a
bone-anser.
When the halter fits a cap to your cranium
he cap sizes your head, doesn't he - Gowaa-
da Enterprise
Advice to Illicit distillers Render unto
sellers the things which are sellers. -3oston
Commercial Bulletin.
We have known many man to sit around
waiting for something to turn up until that
something was his toes.
The Greenbaclsers should be transported to
money to buy one barrel of flour.
A contemporary informs us that "Texans
raise hemp We can inform ourcontempor-
airy that hemp often raises Texans.
The New Orleans Picayune alludes TO mos
quitoes as " Jersey stock" Probably they
belong TO the airy-stock- racy. Graphic.
Said lady to the famous actor. Garrick.
~ wish you were taller" Madam. how
happy should be to stand higher in your cs-
Young man, Improve your opportunities
and get ahead of Washington. If you can't
get ahead of the father of his country in any
other way, go buy three.cent postage stamp.
Exchange.
A line in one of Moore's songs runs thus :
" Our couch shall be roses bespanged with
dew" To which sensible girl replied at
would give me the rheumatic, and SO it would
YOU"
timation," replied the wit.
Tommy, my son, what is longitudea"
ga clothes-lne, papa" "Prove it, my
son." Because it stretches from pole TO
nole.n
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06

Observation-Disclosures Cook, the woman
who, after long life of shame, ventured all
she had Of life and property for the sick, died
at seven o'clock in the morning, Of yellow
fever which she contracted while nursing her
patients. Amid so much that is sorrowful to
an agonizing degree, SO much that illumines
the graces of a common humanity, and 50
much that disgraces that humanity, the ex-
ample of this brave woman stands by itself,
singular but beautiful, sad but touching, the
very expression of that hope, the realization
of which we have in the words, "inasmuch as
We have done it unto the least Of these my
servants we have done it unto me-" Out of
sin, the woman in all the tenderness and
truthfulness of her womanhood, emerged
TRANSPORTED. Memphis Appoal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06

THE PRIME OF LIFE Between the ages of
forty-fiye and sixty man who has properly
regulated himself may be considered in the
prime of life. His niatured strength of con-
stitution renders him almost impervious to au
attack of disease, ard experience has given
soundness to his Judgment. His mind is res
olute, firm, and equal; all his functions arc
in the highest order; he assumes mastery ov-
ell his business builds up competence on
the foundation he has laid in early manhood,
and passes through a period of life attended
by many qualifications. Having gone over
year or two over sixty he arrives at stand
still. But atbwart this is the viaduct termed
the turn of life, which, il crossed in safety,
leads to the valley of old age, round which
the river winds, and then beyond, without
boat or causeway, to effect his passage. The
bridge is, however, constructed Of fragile
material, and it depends how it is trodden
whether IL bend or break. Govt and apoplexy
are also in the vicinity to wayay the traveller,
and thrust HIM from the pass but let him
grid up his loins and provide himself with
filter staff, and lie may trudge on in safety
and with perfect composure. To quit meta
phor, the turn of life y is turn either into
prolonged walk or into the grave. The sys-
tenn and powers having reached the utmost
expansion, now begin either to close like a
flower at sunset or break down at once. One
injudicious stimulant, single fatal excite
ment, may force il beyond its strength, whilst
a careful supply of props and the withdrawal
of all that tends to force plant will sustain
it in beauty and vigor until night has entirely
set in.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06
"A HYMN.



Laden with guilt, before Thy throne,
O God, | PROSTATE fall,
And plead the merits Of Thy Son,
Who freely died for all
With confidence Just MS | am,s
Encouraged by thy word,
come and Thou, Atoning Lamb,
Wilt every grace afford.
What though Paul the seed should sow,
or purest healthy grain?
What though ApelRs water too.
Their labors were In vain.
Unless Thou, Lord and Thou alone.
Shalt give the blest Increase;
IT'S Thou eanst change the heart of stone,
And speak to sinners peace.
Revealed the new Jerusalem
10 mortal view appears;
The Spirit and the Bride say come
And, come, he cries, who hears.
Yes, and commissioned from above,
We all may preach His word
May freely preach redeeming love,
And Paradise reslured.
The blind restor1d, their Saviour see.
The deaf His Gospel hear,
The poor have heard glad tidings free,
A God and Saviour near
Money and price in vain we give
For this salvation free:
fTis he who turns to God shall live,-
IT'S he, aud only he.
In vain we build on mortal's plan,
Or broken vessels hew
Our Gnd regards the inner man,
The humble chosen few.
In city full, or desert bare.
Or ON the ocean Wild
Seek hut His face, and God is there,
And owns thee fnr his child
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06

" Goodbye, sweetheart, were his last
words to the beautiful girl who hung over the
front gate and then, as he walked down the
street, he soliloquized " If l had all the
money squandered on oysters and ice.cream
and buggy-rides for that girl could buy me-
an overcoat now. Whew - he exclaimed, as
The wind whistled around the corner, "ind
am going to need one pretty soon, too .''--
Cincinnati Bredktas Table.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06

Why Is In s-Why is it that women always
read the marriages in newspaper frstg
That some people would rather lie than tell
the truth
That every man is anxious to get the half
cent in shilling?
That the average railroad conductor can
not answer question ciyilly?
That many would rather borrow newspiss
per than subscribe for one?
That men who never pay any tax grumble
loudest about taxes being high?
That many men of wealth have to be
sued before they will pay their honest
debts.
That people who are bravest in times of
peace are the biggest towards in time Of.
war?
That some people always stop their teams
in street crossing particularly on muddy
day ?-R0me Sentinel.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06

Now, boys" said Sunday -school teach
er, who was trying to impress the doctrine of
repentance on the class "now, boys, Judas,
then went and hanged himself What was
the very best thing he could have done ~
" The very best thing he could ha' done" said
the very worst boy in the class, twas to
change his mind.''
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06
POETRY.
OLD AND YOUNG.

They soon grow old who grope for gold
In inarts where all is bought and sold;
Who live for self and on some shelf
In darkened vaults hoardup their pelf,
Cankcred and erusted DER with mold
For them their youth itselfis old
They neer grow old who gather gold
Where Spring awakes and flowers unfold
Where suns arise in joyous skies,
And fill the soul within their eyes.
For them the immortal haris have sung;
For thcm old age itself Is young
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06

A young man hired as a clerk, was told by
his employer that all his clerks slept at the
house, and that it was closed punctually at 10
o'clock every night. g Oh, don't apologize, !"
said the youth, {" don't care what time it is
closed, if it's only opened early enough in the
morning.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06

darky was Boosting to a grocer of the
cheapness of ten pounds of sugar he had pur-
chased at rival shop. +" Let me weigh the
PACKAGE" said the grocer. The darkey as
scented, and it was found two pounds short
The colored gentleman looked perplexed for a
moment, and then said ; "Guess he didn't
cheat dis child much. When he was gettin'
de sugar stole two pair of shoes"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06

DR.. j. G. Holland talking to the assembled
boatmen of Alexandria Bay the other day,
said II neither drink wine nor give it to
my guests. Strong drink is the curse of the
county aud the age. Sixty thousand men in
America every year lie down in the grave of
the drunkard. Drink has murdered my best
friends, and hate it. 1t burdens me with
taxes, and denounce it as nuisance, on
which every honest man should put his heel.
| do not ask you to put your heel on the
drunkard, but to make the spirit of your
guild so strict and pure that no man of your
number will dare to trifle with your opinion
and sentiments on the subject.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06

If you would behold an expression of hu-
man contempt, of lofty patronage, Of imper-
ial hauteur, watch female arrayed in her
fall mantle glance adown the ridges Of her
eagle like beak at poorer sister IN last
wears bonnet.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06

1t is not good for a man to be alone under
any circumstances, but when he falls in a ten
foot cellar on his way home at 2 o'clock in the
morning, he feels that the companionship of
even stepladder would add wonderfully to
the comfort of the occasion.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06

Mrs Partington, in illustration ofthe prov
erb, "a soft answer turneth away wrath"
says that " 1t is better to speak parcgorically
of person than to be all the time finging ep-
taphs at him." The old lady also says her
minister preached about =" the parody of the
probable SON"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06

A few days since verdant youth with his
hotels Of Trenton, and Immediately registered
his name as IS. B. Jones and lady ON Bsr-
die tower.--Ex.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06

"The first gun of the Rebellion "-oue of
John Browns carbnes--has been found in the
Potomac, where it has been lying nineteew
years. The man who fired the first gun Of
the Rebellion has been lying fifteen years all
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06
a cHILp PREacHE EN-.

There is now in Louisville a little negress
who is a perfect child wonder. She is Scrip
tural marvel She does not even know her
letters, yet she can quote accurately almost
any passages in the Bible.
AT the age of nine months she conid talk,
and would frequently Tell her mother what
her idea of heaven was. As she grew older
she would SIT for hours and expatiate on the
beauties and glolies Of the other world. The
old colored folks would listen To her sayings
for hours.
At the age of Q years she began to lecture
on heaven and its wonders. OF God and Ills
omnipotent power. She had lectiired 10 many
places, and has created a furore IN every pIaca
she has yet visited The prodigy lcctured at
the York Street colored church, yesterday af-
ternoon, and ut night spoke to a large crowd
al the Green Street colored church. Her
speech was good and her delivery impressive.
A reporter of the Courier Jouraat interro.
gated her
" What is your name, little girl?"
" Alice Coatny"
" How old are you ~
ise JUST years and 70 days old tonight"
Where were you born 2"
q was born in Liverpool, Eng.,-'cross de
Atlantic'
. How long since you felt the power within
you?"
" don't know ; Use always felt the power
of Godn
" What do you talk about when you speak
to crowd?"
" | talk about Jesus, about heavenly things,
about how Jesus died and was crucficd how
lie rose IN three days and stitch by the right
hand of God"
" Can you spel?"
" No, sir don't know my A. b. C's yet"
She then went on in rapturous strain
about things Biblical and spiritual, completes
ly nonplusing the reporter.
She was accompanied by two colored meni.
They talked in an enthusiastic manner about
her. She spoke in her conversation Of the
mode of salvation, &c. Her sayings were en-
tirely original, and were not spoken in hes
itating voice. but in quick, keen and forcblo
manner. AS young rs she is, negress, With
out education in the principles she sets forth,
her power partakes strongly of the maryel=
Gus.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06

WHAT HAD NO INTEREST FOR HIM.-A
stranger sat in the corner of the car hence to
New York in easy attitude, his feet upon a
large black trunk. The gentlemanly conduct
or, going his rounds, at the fist station po-
litely informed the stranger that the trunk
must be put in the baggage car, to which the
stranger nothing replied At the second sta
ton the displeased conductor more decidedly
told the stranger that he must put the trunk
in the baggage car, or it would be put off the
train, to which the stranger nothing replied
AT the third station the vexcd conductor more
imperatively told the stranger that he must
put the trunk in the baggage car or else it
would be put off the train, to which the strang-
er nothing replied. At the fourth station the
irate conductor had the trunk put off and
left. At the fifth station the Modified con-
ductor, addressing the stranger, begged him
to remember that he had but done it after re-
peated warnings, and that it was solely the
strangers fault. To (which the. stranger la
conicaly replied "Dont care faint my
trunk
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06

There is more nnadulterated joy over the
capture of one solitary mosquito on the inside
Of the netting, than in circumnavigating tho
million and ninety-nine on the outside.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06

A great big ripe tomato, says the Detroit
Free Press, if we'll aimed, will do more to-
make an orator forget his subject than all the
cheers a mad crowd can utter
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06

The proper time for girl to marry is after
she las counted up her cash and finds that
she can support herself in case her husband
turns politician.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06

Men do but ask to see their mothers, sisters
and sweethearts daintily clean and fresh in
all their arrangements and appointments and
as pleasing 10 the eye as modesty and moder-
alton permit. They hate this loud, greedy,
allabsorbing demand for admiration and pre-
eminence in dress that appears to have fasten-
ed upon the girls and women of our day like a
deadly disease, impossible to be shaken off or
eradieated They could tell her that more
pallid hard-worked fathers and husbands are
killed by this same love of tclothes " than by
any sickness or hurt Of body, and that it
makes them marvel as to what manner of
men the future generation will be with such
examples of levity and extravaganza before
them as their mothers bid fair to set So far
as we can remember, our grandmothcrs were
not bitten with this excessive mania for fine
raiment.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06

Preferred creditors-Those who don't press
their bills just now
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06

Trains through to Kensington, change at Trenton
for West philadelphia.
Connection is made at Manunka Chunk with Delaware
Laekawanna 4 Western Railroad. At Lehigh Junction
with Lchigh Valley Lehigh susguehanna, Norris
Essex and New Jersey Central Railroads At Lambert
vile with Pennington Railroad. At Trenton with
trains to and from New York, and Camden.
For further information time tables, which can be
obtained at the ticket Offices
FRANK THOMSON, J.. p. FARMER,
General Manager Gen. Pass Agent.
f. W. JACKSON, Genl Sup't, U. X. Il. OF n. J. Div.
IA ANDERSON, Supt Belyidere Div.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06

The Brussels conference +" Shall we have
new carpet?
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06

On ana dJfeT Ocf XIst, J556.
TRAINS FOR NEW YORK AND PHILADELPHIA
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-11-06
PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD.

3ELVlDERE DIVISION
"a. <...d N fka.. Ilct La 1910
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-11-04
Hi Al Ev HTH AsS.

It Is reported that our base ball clubs are
about to turn out some heavy teams before De-
cember.
It Is expected that in q few days new yacht
which Is said to be q fast one. will arrive from
New York.
As a sign of returning life In our city it Is
gratifying to hear once more the sonorous
voice Of the peanut vendor.
We are requested to state that the rumor to
the effect that Capt. r. B. Pleasants has with
drawn from the Citizens tick ct Ia Incorrect He
announces his candidacy in card In another
column.
We have been requested to say the Fred. Cook
appointed as United States Supervisor on be-
half Of the Republ lean party, Is not he Fred
Cook appointed a Commissioner of the Demo
cratic party. and who resides at No, 41s Tchoup-
itOulas street.
At q recent meeti ng Of the Lily Leaf Social
Club the following officers were elected to serve
for the ensuing year: f. Robertson. President
J. Giynn. vice president: J. Ryan. recording
8 cretary: III. Hogan financial secretary: D,
Flanagan. trensurer Notion A. Frask. sergeant
alarms.
On Wednesday next Judge John P. Becker
will open his "Palas Royal at No. SO Royal
street. where the finest wines. liquors and gus
h Is been thoroughly repaired and fixed up and
is one Of the most elegant and best arranged
saloons Of The city.
Yesterday evening we were greeted with the
old-time fremens song. as q company re-
turned from its labors at the fire. This GUS
tom had been considerably suppressed by the
gallant boys during the epidemic, but now the
war Is over" and it did US good to hear the old
Gremen's song again on our streets.
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-11-04
PARISH POLITICS.
SENSATIONAL RUMORS - SOMETHING
ABOUT DEPUTY UNITED STATES
HARsHAH6.

Notwithstanding the many reports to tho con-
trary. there wore no changes yesterday In tho
political situation as set forth in the DEMOCRAT
on Sunday morning. The several tickets. as
announced will appear on election day. and 1t
is probable that two or three which have not
been promulgated up to this time will be dis
tributed at the polls. Each Of the many tickets
will receive O limited numbers Of votes. but the
real fight will DO triangular one, and will bo
between the Democratic. Conservative ticket,
tho National nominees. and the Citizens Gun
didates.
There wore rumors current yesterday to the
effect that prominent members OF he Demo
cratic knrty would be arrested today on the
charge Of being accessory to fraudulent regis
trution. Digent inquiry and Investigation,
however. leads to the conclusion that the loun~
dAton for the rumor Ia tho fact that on batur-
day night, when the National chnVassers were
paid off. they. to secure their money, were COM
PEELED to make affldavits against voters In the
several Wards, charging them with repeating.
The Nationals claim that they have documents
to prove that Ut east 5000 tra9dp PIE reglstfa
davlts filed on Saturday night. between 600 and
700 fraudnent pnpesg only ere a'l9Rsd The
warrants In these htlidavltS WILL not. however
be issued before election dny.
There has been some talk about the number
and political composition Of the force Of
DEPUTY EMITTED STATES MARSHALL
who will be op duty at tho polls on election day
inquiry DY u DEht0CRAT reporter mas neN6iODtu
the fact that United States Marshal Wharton
has ut his disposal for the purpose. d sum
entirely INADEQUATE to pay an efficient force Of
have sufficient number of men at each poll, to
make their presence. etfeo i've, and their ser.
vices. In tho event of their being required. Of
sentatives of the several prominent parties that
he will appoint us deputies, without pny. ono
The representatives have however. boon in
formed TINT these deputies, although they receive
IN money from the government. will be expected
to perform the duties which the acceptance Of
their commissions entails upon them. and that
they will be held as STRICTLY accountable as il
tney were receiving the regulation pay.
Some of the parties have accepted the Offer
aud it Is probable that at each precinct five
deputies willbe In attendance and these. will
the messengers. or perhaps the better word Is
couriers, will make up q force Of something like
900.
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-11-04
TEE X REF H. E.

Owing to some misunderstanding the rifle
men who went to Frogmoor yesterday were dis
appointed. The targets had not been put up
and no satisfactory arrangements had been
made. Tt was the intention of the club to open
the shooting season yesterday, but the point
was missed. This. however, is only postpone
ment. Sunday next is fixed. as we are in
formed by Col. John Glynn. Jr.. for the grand
opening, and all who have a taste for scientific
pulling at the trigger are invited to be present
We hear also that correspondence Is even now
being had with our Mobile friends to invite
them here at no distant day for friendly compe-
tition at long range with Americas favorte
weapon. We recuperate fast in the South and
good times are surely coming
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-11-04
CITY EGRO Ek.

Mary Robinson was lodged In the Third Pre-
cinct Station. charged with petty larceny.
The bridge at the corner OF Camp and Orange
streets is broken and In d very dangerous con-
dition.
Alphonse ReueIs was lodged In the Suburban
Station, charged with being dangerous and
Suspicious character.
Mr.. Bisbie's residence. No 40 Baronne
street. was damaged 0 the extent of SIS by the
explosion of a coal oil lamp.
Jas. Eisenstead at the instigatlon Of r. Ran,
was placed in durance vile at tho Fourth Sta
ton. charged with breach of trust and embez-
Element.
At 8 o'clock yesterday morning q colored
woman named Caroline Bruce dropped dead at
her domicile. No. 391 Terpsichore street. Coro-
ner notified.
Bri tget Cavanaugh was incarcerated In the
Central Station. charged with being drunk. dis
turbng the peace. and the larceny Of ten
pounds Of meat.
John larry was arrested and locked I'D in the
Second PIec net Station house. charged from
information received with being the individual
who shot and wounded the young lady satur-
day night.
At O'Clock Saturday. while Mrs. B. Baget
wife of the sexton of the Firemen's Cemetery
was visiting the stable in the rear Of her prem
i-es, she was Kicked in the abdomen by q mule
Fortunately her I'M uries were slight.
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1878-11-04

given as his opinion that 1t Is better for the alb
sentees to walt until the tenth Of this month
before returning. for ut that date all danger
will be over.
The following names were registered at Cas-
sidy's Hotel yesterday:
j. Kennedy, NJ Macheca. La 2. Harper, st.
Charles. La,; II. s. smith. Donaldsonvllle, Ia. :
H. r. jennings M. Williams. city: f. 4. Ward
and wife, Memphis: DR.. Tryon. Houston
Texas; DR.. Bradford, Brenham, Texas: A.
bradford. Harrisburg. Texas W, L. Sharkey
Victoria, Toxes n. B. Little Shreveport; John
Van. Cincinnati: W. Brooks. coast: Jas. Hous-
ton, Southwest Pass: II. j. Cullom, Avoyelles.
La. s. Clifford. st. james: Geo. Leovy. Pass
Christian; Joseph Gall. New York.