The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1878-11-30
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

INEhM UF OON ENSii1AA'N
NJ. ,,sume Mr. lanes Gordon Bennett has
a.r;ved in Afghanistan. AT any rate the hghtlhS
has begun.-Ch&09o Times. 8I
Titus took Jerusalem A. ID. 10, but whom
sander took our umbrella Scpt.2l, lS'S;- hna
ing Gdsctc. W
The biggest fool in New York was the man VINO
insured his life for $3.50 900 ana then tried to rn'"
lie booI,b The companies beat him 10y failing
before his health did
Now they call Harriet Hosmer, " oman int
ventorr Don't believe IA WORD o. ~ ~ ,ha Wn..'
never invented woman. Ten that W 'n' '''
perines Phiiddelphid Bulletin
The Mohawk Register puts it thus deheate "
a Young lady visitor, without teeth' arrN'u
on Yesterday under the care of the family PhSS''
clan"
..Gloriolsly and uproariously drunk the mem
hers of the Congressional Indian committee got
-, Inc Metropolitan Hotel at Omaha unless 'he
Omaha Nelcs ibs.
A Kansas editor thus kindly alludes to a cotem-
porary: He is young yet but he can SIT AT Dis
sesk and brush cobwcbs from the ceiling Win
his ears
A Vermont wife murderer, being asked ii he
had ANYTHING to say ere sentence OF death was
nassed upon him, replied that he hau solu HIS
ramarks to a Boston newspaper, which he named
Glow Jonah lost his umbrella v was the u'Ie
ii a sermon which drew to Newport H. l''
church many people who never suspected tha'
she preacher referred to the prophets gourd.
When Satan took Simon Cameron up into the
Allegheny mountains and offered him the STATE
of Pennsylvania, Simon took the ola BOY NJ MS
word Ever since, the state of Pennsylvania mas
been in the Cameron y.-COnrior-"earHdt'
Alta 'possum supper recently held at Paducah,
Ky., twelve opossums and - bushels OF sweet
notatoes were served up. "kcntucky's favorite
bird-the 'po5sum," and "The sweet potato-a
native of North Carolina" were the toasta.
One Of the saddest aud most vcXatious trials
mat comes TO girl when she marrics Is thai she
Mas to discharge her mother and depend upon a
hired girl. .#E. IL
The Mazeppa, Minn Tribune has suspended
publication for two weeks while the editor goes
cut and dms delinquent subscribers. The Up
6,lch Smarter has been started by Mr.. f. NJ. Allen,
of Deadwood The Roar Of Laughter is a Partisan
journal ..+
A California paper having received copy OF
Mr. lie Dues agricultural report, reviews it as
poctry and calls it "a most eXecrabe piece of lit
erary baiderdash," ilustratedby ''somc fearfully
and wonderfully intoxicated artist in the very
crisis of the jmjams" Extract:
Bombus pennsyIvancus is figured,
These insects arc destroyed
3y yOlluCcllus, conops, or tachlna
And several species OF anth0mla;
Anthras (diptcra) anobrium, beetle,
Mcloe and slylops (coleopteri.
Anthercphagus (iIoly Moses save us),
And also by the chalcis or four winged ny.
A Boston book-dca was thrown into convul-
mons on receiving, from an up country school
district the following order
Dere sur: if ycw hcy gut u book called Daniel
Webster on a brige pleas to send me copy by
Pyser's express G. o. ID want ter git it termor
rer if kin, cass my spein techcr says oughter
hcv it. 80
Cleveland gravestonc cutter recently received
an order for a tombstone with the following cut
~ont0" it,
Stranger, pause;
My tale attend,
And learn the cause
OF Ilannah's end
Across the world
The wind did blow;
She kcched "A cold
wat laid her low.
We shed quart
Of tears, It's true;
But life is short.
Aged cighty-two