Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1878-12-04

chemistry TO make good pot hash.
Should young ladies be good oarsmen
because they know how to "feather"
their "sculs?"
When married men complain of be-
ing in hot water at home, It turns out
halfthc time it's scold.
She must have mad basket of fish
on her head when he sung, "Cast that
shad oh from thy brow" s
A good book and a good woman are
excellent things for those who know
how tojustly appreciate their value.
Serpent-skin shoes for ladies are the
latest Paris novelty. Thus it is that
they get even for the way the snake
treated Eve.
Nothing, perhaps. strikes the ear
more pleasantly than pretty woman's
charming voice, except, perhaps her
charming hand.
A candidate is never tickled when the
voters scratch him.
Camille Urso once struck the wrong
note in playing. How could Camilla
Urso
The artfullness of women in increas-
ing. They even have designs on pot
terry.
The Parisians have introduced square
umbrellas. They'll be just as bad as
the other kind-never round when it
rains.
The latest case of boiler inspection
revealed the fact to Biddy that the wa
ter was all out and the "pratees were
buried intoirly."
A Pittsburg man has manufactured
a glass speaking trumpet. Isn't this
rather a novelty, when man throws
stones with glass? } H..fa lf
Latest from Texas-No new kind Of
venemous worm has been discovered
in this state since IL o'clock this morn
ing. Homes for the Homeless. Come
to Texas by the M. K. and T.-Bur-
Hngton Hawkeye. .E5 Tt.#-
Scene in the physics recitation room:
Professor-Mr. F., will you, in your
own words, give me a definition of a
pendulum? Mr.. IA pendulum is
is a thing that makes clock go. Rap
turous applause from the back seats
Acta COttnlbidna.
1t is related of Judge Walter T. Col
quit, an old-time justice of the Georgia
supreme court, that he once condemned
q man to be hanged. preached a SER
mon, reviewed the militia, married two
couples at night, and then conducted q
prayer meeting-all in one day.
A Texas family attended the circus
at Sherman the other day. The nus
band sold load of wood for 81 and the
wife jar Of butter for 81 .25; then they
were rs cents short, but the father
pawned his boots, and barefoot led the
way to the splendors of the arena
E1changs.
"Anything the matter, cook?" Cook
(hysterically); T've been upset, mum!
That Bill (the gardener) has been a-goin
on about the Heastern crisis, mum,
that l don't hardly feel as l can retain
my situation! He's that violent. 'Jingo,'
mum, and we was always hultra-liberal
in my familyw-Punch.
A fellow by the name of Ephraim
Hazeltine wrote to downtown book
seller as follows: "Dere sur: If yew hev
gut book called Daniel Webster on a
bridge please send me copy by Py-
ses's express c. o. ID want to git it ter.
if l kin, caus my spellin techer
says I oughter hev it."
A smile costs the giver nothing, vet
it is beyond price to the erring and re-
pentant, the sad and cheerlcss, the lost
and forsaken. 1t disarms malice, sub
dues temper, turns enmity to love, re-
venge to kindness, and paves the dark
est path with gems of unlight.-Free-
thought Journal. Let's take n smile.-
Boston Traveller.
At a concert given recently at Gil
more's Garden on one of the oft-nights
the animals belonging to Barnum's
Greatest Show on Earth persisted in
helping along the band with its howls.
A man was stationed before each cage
to keep the loudest howlers in time;
the lions and hyenas were
always behind several bars.-Music
Trade RepieW.
Since our proofreader heard that Mr..
Bancroft gave $50 for the discovery
of an error in a Latin quotation he mas
been estimating the number of like
errors he has corrected in correspond
ents' manuscript, and now sends in bill
for $2,764S93,O 2. But we think we are
equal to the emergency. You should
have seen his countenance fall when
ava oSE oH for a Hill of no rti,,, lo 80 - Roo.