The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-12-23
SUNBEAMS.

The LATEST place in Germany-'Eidsl-
berg.
Ode to q money lender-"Mset me
loan."
A regular attendant OF the club-A
policeman.
Ought baker to drive thorough bread
horse.
The cucumber does its best fighting af-
ter it is down.
A button is small event which is al
ways coming off.
A lady need not bs athletic though she
jumps ut an Offer
Why is rosebudlke promissory note ?
1t natures by falling due.
A man WHO owes more than he can
pay is naturally more ose.
Lunch 6ends ar e called colonel" be-
cause they are always strapped.
An elevated railway conductor-one that
is little "high."- OIL Ctty Derrick.
Always glad to leave home, and yet
mighty glad to get back-a base ball
player.
Getting cold victuals in hot weather
is what tramp considers to be hard
work.
Why is it impossible to cheat at chess?
Because all movements must be on the
square.
A small boy and a gun are harmless
when apart, but they make terrific coh-
bination.
Any man pays too much for his whistle
times day.
We have just been thinking how Ian
guage came into the world. Ii WAS dur
ing Adams and Ewes quurrel, when one
word brought on another.
The Collector at Boothbay, Maine, has
among his euriosites god marked,
al rathen IDOL" neighbored by gold
dollar Labelled "Christian IDOL"
An old lady from the South said she
never could imagine where nll the Smiths
came from until she saw in New England
town large sign:-"Smith Manufacturing
Compai.y."
ooh, George, I'm ashamed of YOU
rubbing your lips ike that, after that dear
| litle French < ri has gwen you KISS r
| "rm not rubbing it out, munmy-Im
rubbing it ill.,"
tWho is the head man of this ?" asked
a stranger. And when boy promptly
answered ''The barber" the str~neer
looked puzzled and said lie wanted to know
who was the Mayor.
The farmer who sent his son to the city
to become clerk now writes and asks the
merchant if there is 'anytuing i'll the
boy ?" YES" replied the merchant,
''iust after he has been to d saloon."
An indianapolis man gave his poor,
starved horse two miserable nuDbins OF
corn and five or six blades Of hay, remark.
ing as he did so. '"rhar, now, eat till you
bust."-Detroa Free Press.
Conradt Knophen has gone out of busi
ness. He owned beer saloon and kept Q
slate and the boys stood around dong
Knophen until his total available assets
e were an icepick and a patent faucet. .-Heo
{ kuE Constitution.
A London butler lost his character ant
i his plnce and had to apply to the Guar
dams of the Poor for assistance. IheI
) ask him to accept an offer and go to worl
j making hay, but he replie d with dlgnit,
J. t.At he had never done such thing III hl
Il life.
1 81 should just like to see somebody tr.
to abduct me-" said Mrs. Smith at th
= breakfast table the other morning. "H'm
y 30 should !, my dear-so should l, y SAT-
s Mr. Smith, with exceeding earAestness.-
e B4balo E9press.
!, Making the best of it is good rule TO
6 for everybody. "What is tile matter !?
a asked lawyer of his coachman. 9Th
f. horses are running away, SIR Can yo
y not pull them up?'' 81 am afraid not.
IS Chen" said the lawyer, after judicia
J. delay, run them into something cheap"
e fla Frenchman attends his wifes funers
e he always walks. A certain newly-mad
r widower, who had seemed inconsolable
! went through the usual form. Afterwar
Is some friends called, expecting to find hin
% plunged still in the deepest grief. Il
their surprise he was quite lively and said
10 Upon my word, that walk did III
I, good"
~ A country deacon went on free ticke
to circus entertainment. His pastor re
n.onstrated with him on the wicke,iness c
r SO doing. But he made answer, why
,e you see pastor, had deadhead ticket
k and I thought it my bounden duty to 6
j. and keep somebody out of that seat VIII
might have been harmed by the circus.
8, The pastor accepted the deacon's explans
IN ton as about half satisfactory.
It. Two Hghlandmen, killed in primitiv
n order, dropped inadvertently into an Epi
20 copal chapel on Sunday and seated then
~ selves in a comfortable pew. beautfl
4 symphony was struck up by the orgnnis
a os At that instant gentleman came to tax