Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1878-02-05
Too Much Cabbage.

The season of donation parties is rap
idly approaching, and the country minis
ter, especially in New England, is earn
estly hoping that his frequent, and appar-
eutly casual, remarks as TO the unwhole-
someness OF beans may guide the thoughts
Of his generous parishioners into other
channels. The donation party is shrewd
device on the part OF thrifty church-goers
to compound for their failure TO pay their
minister proper salary by giving him a
collection Of bulky and cheap articles
which he does not want. Still, upon the
broad principle that something is better
than nothing, the impecunious minister
clings to the donation party, and cheer
fully hopes that the day will come when
mis- parishioners will cease to believe that
full grown minister and growing
family can subsst exclusively upon beans
aud peu-wipers. In its inception, the do
nation party was OF course, q voluntary
affair; but in many places it is now as
regular and inevitable as Christmas. DC.
casonlly a congregation endeavors 10 let
the season pass by unnoiiced. but in most
cases the minister boldly meets the emer-
gency by announcing from the pulpit
that "the annual visit TO the pastor" will
take place on such day whereupon
the congregation meekly collects It's
beans and pen-wipers, and testifes in
the usual manner its love for its Pastor.
Naturally. the donation party is SOL
emn and depressing affair. When peo.
pie who do not want to give away any
thing, give to their Pastor things which
he does not want, the ceremony does not
promote hilarity. La order TO render the
donation party somewhat less gloomy
than a funeral, those who bring gifts
usually include among them a supply OF
cake, sandwiches. and in some cases ice
cream. These refreshments are distrib-
uted in equal proportion between the
interior OF the visitors and the exterior
of the ministers carpets and chair-cush-
ions, and hollow pretense OF cheerful
ness is thus kept up. Meanwhile, all the
children Of the congregation retire to
the second-story front bed-noom, where
they play various games and break q
good deal OF furniture. The children
have much the best of the whole affair,
and they add materially to the anguish
of the minister's wife, as she wonders
how many of them will fall against the
stove, and whether they will set the house
on fire when they upset the lamp.
The peculiar character of Rev. Mr..
Wilcox's recent donation party and the
unfortunate results which followed it.,
were due solely TO his small boys disgust
at being forbidden to take part in the
juvenile cake orgies OF the party. A
week before the date fixed for the an
nual visit TO the Pastor, this small boy
had been detected in the act OF creeping
into his bedroom window at midnight,
aiter secret visit to the circus. The
ensuing interview with his father did not
materially depress his spirits. since he
took the precsution to plate the vital por-
ton of his trousers with concealed shing-
les, but when he was sternly told that, as
further penalty, he would be put to bed
at precisely o'clock on the night OF the
donation party, he felt his punishment
was inhuman, and wickedly resolved to
"get square," as he profanely remarked,
with bis father, no matter what it might
cost.
| During the next six days that astute