The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1878-02-07
An OLD STORY IN NEW DRESS.
BY CARLorTA PERRY.

she said: " Shall buy me horse, or COW
Not either, guess" and she most danced 4
"I'n just go to market and buy me a pig"
Piggies were cheap in that day, suppose.
But never you mind; so the old story goes.
The market-tow was miles away
She started at the peep of day;
For this old woman, you must know,
Was fond of apple dumplings. SO,
As she would have them every night
For her supper, wrong or right,
She must be home by set of sun,
In order that they be well donel
For ill-cooked puddings, there's no ques
ton,
Are very bad for the digestion.
And she bought her pig, such beautiful
pig.
Twas as white as the snow from its tail to its
wig.
mean to its head-beg pardon this time;
But really was driven TO that for a rhyme.
gentle expression-thats worth good
deal;
And musical squeal. such n musical squeall
Pleasant, and modest, and dignified actions
Completed the list of this piggy's attractions.
just right, too, for size; not too little nor big.
OH tell you, my dears, twas beautiful
pig!
All was serene, and they started along,
, The old woman humming bit of a song.
The pig, music loving. would now again.
As she came 10 the chorus, just join in the
He lacked cultivation. Gang wholly by ear;
But his voice in the way upper notes was
most clear.
They had nearly reached home, there remain
When they came (they were going cross-lots)
And the pig-oh the pig, that before was so
sweet,
Looked over and under and planted his feet
In a way that spoke volumes! and just signi-
fed
That he would not go over the stile if he died
If she coaNed, then he squealed; if She drove,
then he backed;
You can not conceive how this creature did
act
lie would not go over, nor under, nor
through;
Now what, pray tell, was. this woman to do?
This was trouble sufficient; but OH
There were the dumplings, you know
The dear, darling dumplings. All, me!
Way down I'm her heart-but maybe
Twas not in her heart-was fear
Too deep for a word or tear.
But the wretched ridiculous pig
Seemed to care for her grief not fig.
just then there came along a dog She beg
ged that he would bite
The stupid pig, so she could reach her home
before the night.
The wilIful dog, however, was of another
mind,
And said, quite resOlutely, he'd do nothing OF
the kind.
A stick lay by the roadside-it was not very
big.
She said: % pray you beat the dog, he Will
not bite my pig.
IL gTieves me; but begged him to make the
creature jump,
For must be at home in time to make my
apple-dump-"
Here the stick refused to strike. Then pres
emily she came
To where fire was burning. within the
glowing flame
She thrust the stick, and said: "Burn it
Burn it quick
1t would not beat my dog for me, the wretch
ed, hoTIid stick.
So can not make my apple But the nre
grew quite still
And positively refused to do the unhappy
woman's will.
She called on water. "Quench the frep' she
said. d" It will not burn
The stick which will not whip the dog, which
will not do a turn
of kindness by biting my pig, which will not
Through the stile, as any right minded pig
And shall lose my supper. Alack, alacll-a
day
heard to say
That it hoped she would excuse it. The pa
tient woman went
To where an OK was grazing, the picture of
content.
"Dear OK, here is some water. It's very nice,
I'll take it as a kindness if you will please to
The OK declined with thanks. "weIl, never
mind" said she.
Here's a butcher man a-coming. / rather
think that he
Will help a poor old woman, when the favor
that ask
Is in his line OF business; so IL won't De any
"oh butcher man, dear buteher-man, an,
so glad you've come.
] am in such hurry to reach my lite nome,
And every thing goes wrong, and the pig and
dog and stick
And all the other creatures are as hateful as
old Nick.
Here's this OK, a dreadful monster; but good
for beef, know.
Now ioould you have the goodness to strike
In the middle Of the foreheadl" But the
butcher with a smile,
Gave the OK a look, and answered that it
wasn't worth his while.
Now, this enraged her greatly. To arope that
lay close by
She told the tale, and said: " Oh Rope,pray
But the rope asserted it had something else
TO do.
A rat came long She begged him to gnaw it
through and through,
A previous engagement was plead, and then
a cat
Came strolling by. ooh! Tabby, I wish you'd
With ali my heart said Tabby, in tones as
could You without much trouble get me a
She FASTENED where she saw a COW, and, bow
"You're a very handsome COW. VIII you give
I'm woman in great trouble, to give me help,
pray;
For, if You grant my asking, the cat across
VIII catch the rat" She ratified on. l can not
tell you how
The dog and dumplings stick and pig, be
But she answered, very mildly; "Just a little
way from here
The poor old woman held her breath in min
Ia ,..,,. nr,If .aaF
There's a haystak. Go you to it and bring
And then perhaps IN help you. At any rate,
I'll see"
She brought the hay, she took the milk, and
then the willing cat
Began in deadly earnest to look out for that
rat.
The rat began to gnaw, and the rope began
to wind
Itself around the butchers neck, who could
The state OF things uncomfortable; and so he
To kill the ox-how horrible to be butcher
The OK began TO drink-he did it double
quick
The water gan to quench the fire, which gan
to burn the stick;
which began to beat the dog; the dog as quick
Began to bite the w1etched pig, TO bite and
The pig forgot his bad resolve that he would
In his amazenient cleared the stile before he
even knew IL.
And they reached the little cot
In time TO boil the pot
of the 1olliest apple-dumplings that ever you
did see;
Enough, do declare,
Had YOU and been there,
For the woman, and the pig, Ind You and me.
= The Independent
As, at a wedding in Hoyne Avenue
A. thar oI-aniro they gathered around