The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-11-14

however, bride startled him by prom
Using, in what she supposed to be the
language of the Prayer-Book, to take
her husband, " To ave and to 'old from
this day fortni't fe' betterer horse, for
richerer power, in suggerness health, to
love cherries and to bay" What mean
ing this extraordinary VOW conveyed to
her mind the incumbent said it baffied
him to conjecture.
The stories told of the blunders made
by Oxford and Cambridge undergradu-
ates i'll the Scripture examination are al
most incredible. One of these, when
asked who was the first king of Israel,
was SO fortunate as to stumble upon the
name of " Saul" He saw that he had
hit the mark, and, wishing to show the
examiners how intimate his knowledge
of the Scriptures was, added, confident
ially, Saul, also called Paul" Another
was asked to give the parable OF the
good Samaritan. He did so with toler-
able accuracy till he came to the place
where the Samaritan says to the inn
keeper, When l come again l will re-
pay thee" Here the unlucky .examinee
added, This he said, knowing that he
should see his face no morep
A ludicrous story is told of a bailie,
whose studies in natural history seem
to have been rather limited. The. fol-
| lowing case came beforehim one day:
A man who kept ferret, having to go
into the country. left the cage with the
ferret in charge of neighbor till he
! should return. The neighbor incau-
tiously opened the cage-door, and the
ferret escaped. The owner was very
angry, and brought claim against his
neighbor for damages. The following
was the decision of the learned bailie:
q Nae Doubt" he said to the man who
had been left in charge, " ye was wrang
to open the cage-door; but" he added,
| turning to the other, "yewas wrang,
too. For why did ye not clip the brute's
wingsw
1t is also told of certain Glasgow
bailie that, when visiting Paris as one
of deputation from Glasgow to Louis
Philippe, the king said, when showing
the party throughhis library, where he
had many of the English classics, "'You
will know Milton very well?" go,
bless you, yes; bless yeu, yes" said the
bailie, cheerfully, delighted that some
thing had been mentioned that he did
know. Yes, your majesty, l know
Milton very well Milton is a little
place in the neighborhood of Glasgow !;
"we're just building slaughter-houses
there"
In an English paper an advertisement
appeared, under theheading of "To Let"
Of !" A house for family in good re-
pair" Punch noted this, and conjec-
tured that family in good repair !"
must mean one in which none of the
members were cracked.
"The brooches would have been sent
before, but have been unwell," was a
note Of apology sent to Dean Afford by
his jeweler.
An amusing style of blunder is the
"bull," for which the Irish get most
credit. 1t was an Irish editor that ex-
claimed, when speaking of the wrongs
of his country, Her cup of misery has
been overfowing, and is not yet fullP'
1t was an Irish newspaper that said of
Robespierre that " he left no children
behind him except brother, who was
killed at the same time" Irish also
was the cornet who, when writing home
from India praising the much-abused
climate as really one of the best under
the sun, added, But lot of young
fellows come out here, and they drink
and they eat, and they eat and they
drink, and they die; and then they
write home to their friends, saying it
was the climate. that did it'll"
Though not so numerous as those of
the Emerald Isle, Scotland is not with
out its specimens of this kind of blum
der. Two operatives in one of the bor-
der towns were heard disputing about a
new cemetery, beside the elegant rail
ing of which they were standing. One
of them, evidently disliking the CONT
mental fashion in which it was being
laid out. said, in disgust:
"Pd rather dee than be buried in
sic a place."
Weel, it's the vera reverse WI me, y
said the other; for I'll be buried nae.
where else, if Pm spared"
A story of Dean Ramsay's is given
of half-cracked man in the parish kirk
of " Aud Ayr" who got his head il
between the iron rails in front of seat
and startled the congregation by crying
out in the middle of the sermon:
Murder! murder! my head'll hat
to be cuttit aft. Holy minister! O
my head maun cuttit aft. It's judg
ment for leaving my godly Mr.. Peeble'
(his former minister) at the Newton.
When he had been extricated anC
quieted, and asked why he put his heac
there, he said, Z" 1t was just to look OIL
wi another loon,dn."
Among the instances of blunders from
absence of mind are the following:
The first Lord Lyttleton was very alb
sent-minded. 1t is declared of him tina
when he fell into the river by the up
setting of boat at Hagley, " He sanI
twice before he recollected that he coulc
SWIM"
A New York paper gives the follow
ing story in illustration of the absent
mindedness of the great Jonathan Ed
wards. When out riding one day,
little boy very respectfully bowed an
opened a gate for him.
"Whose boy are you, my little man :?
he asked.
Noah Clark,s boy, sir, was the an
swer.
; On the return of Edwards, the sam
boy appeared and opened the gate fo
him. He thanked the little fellow, an
,, again asked:
,, Whose boy are you?'
f" Noah Clark's sir-the same man
! boy l was quarter of an hour ago, sir.
! The Rev. Mr.. McDougall, of Paisley
,, used to tell the following story: One da
|, he was taking a simple friend from tn
6 country to see Garthavel; but passin
/, the Exchange on their way to the asy
lum, he took him to the door to look il
The man, who thought they had got t
their destination, stood behind Mr.. M,
r Dougall, and, staring eagerly over HI
e shoulder at the merchants stepping u
e and down and gathering in eager group
4 exclaimed with surprise, not unmingle
n with awe:
: Is't safe, n?-they're a loose
t There are some good stories abol
e mistakes as to person, and with tW