West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-03-16
EVERYDAY SPICERIES.

10 lhlN paper OcglnS, had no idea"
etc. The rest OF the communication
proves it,
New YoRK Herald: Georgia's favorite
college has two hundred and twenty-five
students. It's name is Emory. That is
where the students get polished.
LOUISVILLE Courier Journal: There
are American ne wspapers that actually
steal the paragraph that accuses them
of stealing. IL is enough to make a pen
itontiary blush.
BRooKvHLE Democrat: Faith il gen
crallyreprescntod as n bcdraggled female
clinging to sea-washcd rock, but for
simple, trusting, undefiled faith, point
us To an editor paying postage on tho
paper of delinquent subscriber.
BURLINGTON Hawkeye: Jane Grey
Swisshelm has been suspended from the
Sorosis for having rashly wished she was
man. But she was reinstated, on pay
ment of light fine, when she explained
that she uttered the wish while trying
To climb up on n high stool Mt railroad
lunch-counter.
You may 1.-Two without poetry, music, and art;
heart
You may 1.-Two without love; you may live without
books
And may bask In the balm Of a thousand Of cooksi
hut what ~ a cook--who can give you abitc.
Yet can't give you tonic TO tempt nppetto3
I'd rnthor hang hungry, ON Liian's smiles.
Than feast with the gods IN the fortunate isles.
N. " Commercial.
BANGOR Wing: A dentist in this State
tried his first operation with gas upon
robust colored woman, the other day.
After she had used up all the gas in the
Office, ,he wheeled in the chair and
shouted: Hurry up and bring on an
other kcg of that sweetened windW
GowANDA Enterprise: The editor of the
Worccster Press has one pocket for his
gold and another for his silver. That
was the policy we adopted when we com
menccd the printing business. Those
pockets are just as good to-day az they
ever were, but we have worn out one
dozen and half pairs of pantaloons.
WORCESTER Press: King Alfonso
spends hours and hours talking with his
bride by telephone. A year from this
date he will probably hire lightning
rod man to run his end Of the machine
while he loafs at the club, and she will
have her chambermaid instructed TO
keep the thing going while she reads
Daudets novels.
BURLINGTON Hd0keye: A picture of
human agony-A bashful young man
who climbs out Of the upper berth in -
sleeping car, at what he supposes 10 be
midnight, TO get n drink OF water, and
when he steps down in the aisle is hor-
rifed TO see that il is about nine O'clock,
n. m, and everybody in the car is up and
looking at him pleasantly.
NEW YORK Commercial advertiser:
Snipkins refused to get his wife new
hat, and soon after his little daughter
came in and said Mamma, won't you
buy me monkey 10 play with when
you go down townP No, darling.
wait till you are older, and then marry
one, AZ ! did" replied the grief-stricken
wife, her tears bursting forth afresh.
WHITEHALL Times: The New York
Tribune copies paragraphs from Punch
and other foreign journals, never failing
10 afix TO them, the proper credit. Many
a cad eyed American paragrapheT, how
ever, az he reads bis efforts copied into
the 7ribtme, sighs TO think that il is a
wise Tribune that won't know the off
springs daddy, just because unfortunate
circumstances prevents the paragraph
from calling John Bull its grandmother.
THRICE Is he armed who hath his quarrel Just.
- William s
And four times he who gets his blow 10 fust.
But solid, right in town. 0. X. is he,
Who gets the others head IN chanceree.
-Hauteys.
But best Is he Who when hisblows ere dealt,
'e''' WV -RsraH
Blowing tbsn striking IL much wiser though,
stand w sud jaw--returning blow " for blow.
--Nei0 Yoyk 0r0phtc.
THIS il one Of the latest stories about
the Pope Not long after the Pope's
return TO Rome, in 1850, a beautiful
young English lady was out sketching
with maid near the Porta Pia The
Pope came out in his carriage, de-
scended, and began 10 take his usual
walk. The maid having gone TO ask his
blessing, returned 10 say that His Hoh-
ness would gladly give his hand 70
be kissed to her young Eng
lish mistress. Indeed said that
lady, with toss Of her herctical
head, think my hand better worth
kissing than his The Pope, who had
approached unseen, and overheard this
speech laughed gently, and said to
her great confusion, That is perfectly
true but you will allow an old man 10
bless you, nevertheless "
ATLANTA Herald What nights were
the nights on the old plantation The
mellow light Of the harvest moon crept
through the rustling leaves Of the tall
/ oaks, fell softly upon the open space be-
l yond, and bathed the brown old barn in
a food Of golden glory, while the songs
\ Of the negroes at the corn pi'e--lusty
I chorus and plaiutive refrain-sbOOk the
| silence until it broke upon the air in far
reaching waves Of melody. But, alas
\ All tbes- are gOue. The moon pursues
| her pathway as sercnely as Of old, but
she no longer looks down upon the
scenes that were familiar to your youth
/ The old homestead and the barn are
| given up 10 decay, and the SONGS Of the
negroes have been hushed into silence by
the necessities Of n new dispeusation.
The old plantation itself is gone. IL
has passed away, but the hand Of time,
incxorable and yet tender, has woven
about IL the sweet suggestions Of poetry
and rOmance-memOrials that neither