Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1878-07-19


When mans wife is in cataract Of
tears for nothing, the Yonkers GGzete
says 1t well Niagaravates man.
Tramps out this wav live on the
choicest meats. Every one of them gets
warm tongue at most every house.
The Burlington Ha1ckeye regrets that
the dentists of this country are so much
addicted to the little game of draw.
q amt a-takin' no trade dollars now"
remarked tramp to benevolent old
lady, "Give US q gIeenback, or nothin'."
A gentleman who was located near one
of the fog signals this week, made up his
mind that unrest was fog horn conclu-
sion.
Here is the salutatory of a new editor
down in Maryland: "What have to say
to this community viii be said gradu-
ally.V
Women are proyerbially severe in their
! criticisms of each others attire. 1t
makes all the difference in the world
whose dress is gored.
A certain editor thinks that Richelieu,
who declared that "the pen Is mightier
than the swOrn;" ought to have spoken q
good word for the scissors.
It doesn't require very imaginative
man TO nave unutterable thoughts when
he's whacked across the southern end of
! his back with muddy crosswalk.
The salary of the ightest congressman
/ in the house, if paid him in the silver
! dollar he voted for, would weigh more
than Senator Davis. 'Soc ct tuum."
"If You would succeed in this life, my
| son." said Tom CorwIn, ''be solemn, sol
/ 4 1,o - s,f
| this world are built to solemn asses"
A Jersey City man was recently arrest
! ed for smacl1ing his wife across the nose
with a red and yellow worsted motto
bearing the words Home, sweet home"
Little Ned asked his father the other
! evening who made the moon. God,
answered the father "Yes," said Ned,
Il can see the marks of his dirty fingers"
A splendid item about a man getting
kicked all to pieces by horse the other
day, was utterly spoiled by the careless
ness of the man himself, who climbed
into the haymow and stayed there until
the horse Quit kicking, and yet cold
world may blame the reporter for this.
"A man in Dansville, N. Y, while cut
| ting into a straw stack, drew forth his
n
horror shot through him as he thought
he had killed some unfortunate tramp
who had burroWed into the stack to
sleep. An examination revealed the
fact that he had cut awoodchuck in two.
The Central Pacific railroad monop-
| oily appears to have plenty of money to
spend in its Southern Pacific scheme to
occupy the route of the Texas Pacific,
but it is unable to pay the interest on the
bonds issued by the United States govern
ment in aid of its main line, and seeks
every means of escape from the respon-
sibility of that debt. Yet it is pointed to
as building the southern line without
government aid.
"A woman working in,a<shoe factory
at NoEth Adams, Mass, bas- died from
the effects of poison contained l
leather which she stitched. Her face
swelled so much that when she died her
features were hardly recognizable. Two
theories are advanced as to the cause of
poisoning-one, that poison was inhaled
from the leather, and the other, that it
was from rubbing her face with her
hands after working.
The Duke of Sutherland gave a BAN
quet to Valentine Baker, Pasha, on the
latters return to London, which was at
tended by many noblemen, generals and
ambassadors. Colonel Baker possessed
no social standing year ago, when he
left an English prison, but his service in
behalf of the unspeakable Turk seems to
have pUrged him, in the estimation of
the distinguished people of London, from
all former disgrace.
One of the latest whims in pottery
adopts the tiny, homely little jug of
brown earthen-warei sold in shops for a
quarter They are fac simiJes of the jug
classic in song, about two inches high,
with the inscription, "Little Brown jug"
etched on the front, and were originally
intended to please children, but the fancy
of the moment is to fill them with per-
fumery and tie blue temperance bow
on the handle, for the toilet table.
"A bachelor says: "a woman win
cling to the chosen object of her heart
like a possum to a gum tree, and you
can't separate her without swapping
strings no art can mend, and leaving
portion of her soul on the upper-leather
of your affections. She will sometimes
see something to love where others see
nothing to admire; and when fondness
is once fastened on fellow, it sticks like
clue and treacle in a bushy head of hair"
in Hart county, KY, man by the
name of William Bowman, was thrown
away in the Apalache mountains, North
Carolina. when an infant, and was found
bv an old bear and adopted as cub.
At the age of ten years he was captured,
tied hand and foot, and then his eaptors
found out that he could not talk, nor
could he be persuaded to take any tood
but milk, which he sucked from a bottle, |
showing that he lived solely by the nurs-
ing of the bear. Bowman IS now tar-
mer near Omega, and any one doubling
the truth of this statement can nave II
verified by seeing him.
LONELINESS constitutes true |
loveliness? Not the polished brow, the |
gaudy dress, nor the show and parade OF !
fashionable life. A woman may have all |
the outward marks of beauty, and yet |
not possess a lovely character. 1t is the
benevolent disposition, the kind acts,
and the Christian department. 1t is in
the heart, where meekness, truth, attec-
ton, humility are found, where we look
for loveIness; nor do we look IN vain.
The woman who can soothe the aching |
heart. smooth the wrinkled brow, ale |
viate the anguish of the mind, and pour |
the balm of consolation in the wounded |
breast, possesses, in an eminent degree, |
tr11e loyeliness nf character,
The lady who attracted most atten-
don at a recent fancy dress ball in Lon
don represented ''Young America" She |
wore blue satin. boots with silver buttons, |
a short white satin skirt over which was |
gracefully draped silk American flag, |
caught up at one side by metal eagle. |
The bodice was blue silk covered with |
silver stars. over which was a very et-
fective metal cuirass, on the front OF |
which was the American shield with a. |
prominent eagle~. For ornaments she |
wore bracelets anda necklace of gold |
dollars very neatly made. On herhead |
she wore a crown of thirteen stars IN |
brilliants. The lady was Miss Kate |
Field. The costume was designed by |
herself.
The Father of his Country was an |
astute husband and singularly Just Mar |
tina" he said, three days after his mar |
riage, eve might as well understand each |
other. am prepared to admit that the |
late Mr.. Custis was the best man that |
ever lived. He was good provider and |
most excellent in every conceivable way. |
But he is dead, l am frank to say that |
| cannot weep over it. 1t is simply so. |
Let us not resurreCt him. Let the dear |