The Findlay Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Hancock County, Ohio) 1870-1881, 1878-12-20

fore my eyes, and real objects assumed
the semblance of what they were not
and drove me to the verge of delirium
while the effort constantly exerted Il
retain my reason only the more pros
rated the mental powers.
Ultimately my malady reached astagt
At which / seemed to realize both phys
zeal and mental double: existence. A
lines / could distinctly see the form ano
features of my second self, directly con-
fronting and gazing upon my more I'M
mediate self And then my own voict
addressed me, and we conversed together
myself and my second self-now con-
doing in common misery, and then II
tantalizing and horrible imprecations.
The terrible delusion became unbear
able and l felt that reason could no
much longer retain command of the dis
ordered faculties. 1t was night wher
my mental agitation had reached high
degree. My wife had fallen asleep
overcome with constant care and watch
ing. / was pacing the sitting room o.
our chamber about the hour of midnight
as was my habit. Occasionally / reclined
on sofa,in the hope of catching slight
respite from the distress of my terrible
hallucination; but it was for a moment
Only.
lay down again on the sofa. Ny
brain seemed whirling in blaze of fire
and 1 sprang up stricken with madness
The horrible spectre stood before me and
Knocked me with a fiendish grin of de-
rision. 1 Igrasped heavy piece of fur
niture and dashed at it with the fury Of
q maniac. The spectre seemed palpable
to the blow, and yielded. saw it vanish
in darkness that spread before me, and
my tormenting second self was gone. j
broke forth in frantic laughter, that re-
turned in a hundred echoes around me,
and 1 sank exhausted, unconscious to
the floor.
The morning sun was shining in upon
me when 1 awoke to returning consci-
business. A cool perspiration oozed from
my forehead. rose on my elbow, and,
for some moments, endeavored to recall
my identity and the recollections of the
night Then ahorrible conviction came
upon me. Great heavens! 1t was she,
1t was my poor devoted wife-the reality
of the form I had dashed down and des-
troyed in my frenzy!
Overwhelmed with remorse, l rushed
wildly from the house and fed I knew
not whittier. The greater griefthat had
come upon me terminated my mental
powerand 1 became calm in despair; but
I shrank cowardly from the desolation
that my own hand had wrought.
1t was some weeks after the dreadful
night l have described that 1 reached
New York City without detection, q
greater portion OF the distance working
as one of the crew of a canal boat 1
wandered along the wharves of the me
tropolis, searching anxiously tor some
means ofescaping the country,and long
ing even to fee the fellowship of civilized
man. The opportunity was finally dis
covered in ship about sailing around
Cape Horn for the Pacific coast, ON board
of which my services were accepted in
a menial capacity.
I was soon safe from discovery and
pursuit, and free upon the boundless
waters-free as one could feel with the
remorse of a heIlish deed upon his soul,
and the abandonment of all hope of a
happy hour in life again.
1 need not describe the experience of
a long and tedious sea voyage, and the
hardships and indignities put upon me
in consequence of ineficiency and total
ignorance of a seaman's duties. To me
it was of little account. But the change
of life and scene, and the sea air had a
wonderful effect in repairing my mental
and physical strength. 1t was on a
bright September morning that I first
spied the hazy shores of California, and
in a day or two thereafter sauntered
along the streets of San Francisco, alone
in new world, with only the compan-
ionship of bitter recollections.
As necessity required ] sought EN-
ployment, aud managed to sustain my
sell, leading hstless. purposeless life.
But the monotony soon became oppres-
sive, and the apprehension of ultimate
discovery excited renewed anxiety.
Frequently / fancied the recognition Of
a familiar countenance on the streets
that kept me in painful uncertainty.
The day came in which my worst
fears were realized. The miserable
wretch in whose mouse / was sojourning
delivered me into the hands of justice
By what means he discovered my ident-
ity could not determine; but met my
fate boldly; for remorse had 30 far en-
bittered my existence that disdained
longer to struggle for its continuance.
Gentlemen" 1 exclaimed, as the
officers inclosed my wrists with iron
shackles, stake your accursed reward
I am Charles Harden, the murderer
from"
They dragged me to the prison, and
the officers of the law came and ques
toned me. I told them all, and they
transferred me to q more secure con
fnement, least should escape agair
the retribution of crime.
Long 1 fingered in the solitude of I
gloomy cell, awaiting the final decree o.
fate, until calm indifference succeeded
despair, and gradually every emotion
even life itself, seemed to subside into I
dream.
J But DAY came when my eenHDinae
seemed terminating, like one emergini
from trance. Slowly my mind mani
tested activity, and In time recalled
my identity; then suddenly the recollec
ton OF my whole life flooded back upoI
me, and all the weight of its great bur
den of remore again descended.
An old man, whose kindly counten
apce had become familiar to me as in
vision, appeared and sought to rail-
my dependency with words of hop
and encouragement.
'sYou have had long, bad spell
Harden he remarked; but you ar
| coming around all right nov, and viii