davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25
A Story of the Irish Bar.

A favorite story is told of trial at
quarter sessions in Mayo, which devel-
oped some of the ingenious resources of
Paddy when he chooses to exercise his
talent in an endeavor not to pay. A doc
tor had summoned man for the sum of
one guinea, due for attendance on the
mans wife. The medico proved his case,
and was about to retire, triumphant,
when the defendant humbly begged leave
to ask him few questions. Permission
was granted, and the following dialogue
took place:
observation-disclosures, you remember
when called on you"
Doctor-"I do"
Defendant. -"What did | sayl"
Doc,or-"You said your wife was
sick, and you wished me to go and see
her."
Delendant.-"What did you sayi"
Doctor--"I said would if you'd pay
me my. fee."
Defcndant.--"What did say thcni"
Doctor.-"You said you'd pay the fee,
if so be you knew what it was"
Deiendant.-"What did you sayl'
Doctor said I'd take the guinea first,
and may be more at the end, according to
the sickness"
Defendant. -"Now, dochter, by vartue
of your oath, didn't l say, Kill or
cure I'll give you a guinea" And
didn't you say. Kill or cure, I'll take
itf"
Doctoy.-"You did, and l agreed to the
bargain. And want the guinea accord
ingly."
Decentralization, dochter, by vartue
of your oath, answer this. Did you cure
my wifel'
Doctor.-"No, she's dead, you know"
Defendant.-"Thcn, dochter, by vartue
Of your oath, answer this. Did you kill
my witel"
Doctor.-"No; she died of her ILL
ness"
Defendant, to the bench. -"Your wor
ship, see this. You heard him tell our
bargain. 1t was to kill or cure. BY var
tue of his oath. no done neither and he
axes the feel"
The verdict, however, went against poor
Pat, Notwithstanding his ingenuity
0hnm6sr's Journal.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25
The BROOKLYN,

Let us call the attention of visitors to San
Francisco 10 the fact that this old-time favor.
lite Hotel, under the able management Of
Messrs. Kelly & Shields, is enjoying an in.
creased degree of all its old-time popularity
Mr. Shields is a genial, pleasant gentleman
and Mr.. John Kelly, Jr, is too well known 10
the people OF this coast to need any com
mendation of ours. The table is supplied with
the best that the market affords. The house
is entirely renovated-repainted and refur-
nshed. Prices are reasonable. In short, the
Brooklyn is one OF the most desirable and
pleasant Hotels in the city in which to make
your home during your visit.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25

A CAT SToRY.-A friend of ours tells
TIE following cat story, and voucheS
for its tru!hfulness: Coming into the
house one day Mr.. X. remarked to his wife,
II have found Daisy's kittens
WELL" she returned, ~ am glad, for
they must all be drowned"
On going to get the kittens no trace of
them could be found. A few days after
wards, remembering that the cat was in
the room during the conversation, Mr. X.
took her up and said: daisy, if you will
bring me your kittens l will not let her
drown one of them. 1.-The cat Immediately
left the room, and coming back with a
kitten in her mouth laid it at his feet
with evident faith in his word "Now,
where are the Others he asked, and
she went and came until the four were on
the rug at his feet. Mona f.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25
Purchasing Agency.

Any parties DESTROYS Of having goods purchased for
them In San Francisco can do so by addressing Mri
w. H. Ashley. who will send samples of goods for
their Inspection. To the LADIES' | would say that
have trst-cass estab shment for Dress.makng, and
am prepared to execute country orders with dispatch
Being engaged in business here have the advantage
of buying goods direct from the importers whole
SALE and would give my patrons the beneht of same
Goods purchased and sent c. o. d. Set for Circular
Address Mrs. W. II. ASHLEY, l2O Suffer street,
Room 81. san Francisco.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25
Wit and HumOr.
| "PICKED nine'-The MUSES..


A SWEET thing in combs-Honey.
ISLES are found in every Bishops
AN uncertain quantity-a box of straw
berries.
WHEN a man is rooted to the spot, does
he branch out before he leaues?
WHY are hand cuffs like guide booksa
Because they are made for too wrists.
How should wife speak to grumb-
ling husband9 "My dear, l love you
Giu."
A NEW comic song has been issued
called "The Gas Bill" 1t doubtless has
very long meter.
A UTAH paper says: Tho pretty girls
in this territory used to marry Young, but
they won't do so any more"
BULL Run has been made post Office.
There was considerable of stamp EIDE
there once, you remember Hartford
Times.
In England, recently, a mob broke up
the wedding OF an old wretch of eighty
years, who was marrying a girl of eight
cen.
PuoToGRApnER-" sir, if you
will look a little less as if you had note
to pay, a little more as if you'd been left
legacy, you'll get a picture
MIR. CAMPBELL, of Newfane, New
York, drank corrosive sublimate instead
of champagne. These things shouldn't
be put up so much alike--some Cnnsress-
man will be the next victim.
Two cnraged duelsts meet upon the
dark and bloody ground. Just as their
swords are about to be handed them the
first enraged duelist in Il voice trembling
with suppressed bravery, says: Zone of
US two must remain on this field. "You're
talking" says the second enraaed duel
list. "And it shall be YOU" says the first
enraged duc!list; "for I'm going Goes
with the velocity of a quarterhorse.)
TIE pious trooper, very much incbr-
atcd, is striving to clamber into the sad
die, at every effort calling on saint.
saint Peter, to my aid he hiccups,
"Saint Paul, lend me hand! Saint
Fidelis of Sigmaringen, martyr, boost a
fellow upw With mighty effort he
throws himself into the saddle and rolls
off on the other side of the horse. "Not
all together, - you! One was enough"
yells the pious trooper.
A GOOD story is told of Rochester, N.
Y, deacon, who thought he recognized a
young lady friend leading little boy up
the street, and stepping to her side he
asked: "Why, Mary, where did you get
that chldl" The scarlet face instantly
turned to his was that of an entire stran-
ger, and her quick reply fully satisfied
him. 81 came by it honestly" was all
she said, and the good old man had some
thing to think about all the way home to
dinner.
A LITTLR fellow who has seen scarce
half a dozen summers, and at whose
home hens have been kept for but few
weeks, visited neighbours day or two
since to get company in his play, where
he was Informed that his ott-timc play
mate was suffering from chicken-pox.
The lady of the house, in tones of curios-
ity not a little tinctured with solicitude,
asked the little fellow if they had had
the chicken pox over at his house, and
was much amused at the reply, with all
gravity: "No; we haven't had our hens
long enough yet,"-Prosidsnce Journal.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25
Cheerful Women.

In marrying, men should seek happy
women. They make terrible mistake
when they marry for beauty, or for tai
ent, or for style. The sweetest wives are
those who possess the magic secret of
being happy under any and all circum-
stances. Rich or poor, high or low, it
makes no difference, the bright little
fountain bubbles up just as musically in
their hearts. Nothing ever goes wrong
with them--no trouble is too serious for
them "to make the best of it," Was ever
the stream of calamity SO dark and deep
that the sunlight of happy face falling
across its turbid tides would not wake
an answering gleam9 Why, then, joyous
tempered people don't know half tho
good they do. No matter how cross and
grabbed you feel, no matter if your brain
is full of meditation, on "atflicting dis
pensatons," and your stomach with med
icines, pills and tonics; just set one of
those CHEEKY little women talking to you,
and we are not afraid to wager anything
she can cure you. The long drawn lines
about the mouth will rclax-thc cloud of
settled gloom will vanish, nobody knows
where, and the tirst thing you know you
will be laughing All, what a blessing
are these happy women! How often
their little hands guide the ponderous
machine of life, with almost an Invisible
touch! How we look forward through
the weary day to their tireside smiles !
No one knows, no one ever will know
until the day of judgment reveals, how
much We owe to these helpful, hopeful,
accomplishing, happy women.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25

SOME people scorn to be taught; others
are ashamed of it, as they would be of
going to school when they are old; but it
Is never too late to learn what it is always
necessary to know; and it is no shame
to learn as long as you arc ignorant
that is to say, so long rs We live.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25

WANTEp-A good Agent in every city
town and village in the United States, tt
take subscriptions for the COMMERCIAL AID
voCArE, the only nti-Catholic and conserva
tive labor paper published in America. Sub
scrption $500 year, in advance. Good in
ducements will be offered TO agents. Write
for terms and full particulars Address Con-
MERCIAL ADVOCATE, 526 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, Cal.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25

PHYSICIANS OF high standing unhcsita ting
~ give their Endorsement TO the use OF the
Gracfenberg- Marshalrs Catholicon for all fe-
male complaints. The weak and debilitated
find wonderful relief from a constant use OF
this valuable remedy. Sold by all druggists.
$3.50 per bottle.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25
COlored Shirts.

The greatest variety of styles and at the
lowest rates are to be found at NJ Harris, 400
Kearny ST., San Francisco. Samples of mate
rial for selection sent free. All orders filled
c. o. ID. to any part of the coast. Satisfaction
guaranteed. Address NJ. Hart, 400 Kearny st.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25

To ABSORB THE BAD AIR.-In cases of
smallpox, scarlet fever, or other fever,
onions sliced and kept in the room will
absorb the bad air; the fever will soon
disappear; they must be changed very
often.
DYSPEPSIA simple and effestual
remedy for dyspepsia is TO abstain from
drinking Immediately before and during
meals, and for an hour afterwsrd. Also
use no milk in either tea or coffee.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25
A Sure Remedy.

The season of fevers, chills and all classes
Of bilious complaints is upon us again. A
remedy that is not only sure preventative
but "A certain cure should be In every house.
Such an one is the Yerba Buena Bitters, the
best cathartic and regulator in use.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25

MEADOWS MAoIc LININENr Is a sure cure
for Neuralgia, Headache, Rheumatism, etc,
or money refunded. 1t is sold by all drug
gists, at SO cts. a bottle Abrams X Carroll,
Agents, San Francisco.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25
Help,

Do you need first class help for your hotel
mill. farm or gardeng If so, send your order.
to Crosctt & Co., 62} Clay ST., San Francisco
who will supply you at short notice.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25

Pnorooa.rHs Of superior nnish 1T Morses Palace
Of Art, Az Montgomery street. San Francisco.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25

ALI Photographs made Of the New York Gallery
No Is Third s ". guaranteed to be nrst clAss
Phees W sai, The times. J. H. Psrsns. Proprietor.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25

wv. suAEFFER Il CO.'S GREEN SEAL
CIGARS are made from finest Havana To-
bacco. S23 Sacramento street, San Francisco
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25

ONE of the most valuable Indian
relics we have ever seen was brought
into our office to-day. 1t was combi-
nation pipe and tomahawk. The handle
and pipe-stem is made of sugar-tree
wood. Apparently machine turned.
The mouth-piece, however, has been re-
moved. The handle is embelished with
silver hands fastened to it with faultless
regularity. On the pole of the toma-
hawk is to be observed smooth silver
emblem, not unlike the shield of the
United States. This strange object was
powed up in the garden of o. ID. Mont
gomery, near Shackle Island, Sumner
county. The spot was cleared about the
year 1893. When found, this peculiar
piece of mechanism was wrapped in raw
hide covered with an oleaginous com
pound. -Nashpiiie Banner.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25

BurrxRIcK Co.'S Patterns. summer styles. Sen
stamp for catalogue. I9a Post st., san Francisco
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25

HRMoRRBoIDs OR PILpr, q treatise on their fcien.
thc and painless treatment and radical cure, by E. j.
FRASER, NJ D., San Francisco. Price, IS cents. For
sale at the book stores and by the author 22l Powell
street. Sent by mail to any address upon receipt Of
the price IN coin, currency or postage stamps.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25

FoR the best Photographs and the lowest prices 20
to the old and reliable establishment of WIN. STEW,
No lis Kearny street, San Francisco established in
1851. and formerly located on Montgomery street.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25

TEETH SAvED.-Filling Teeth a specially Sets Of
Teeth from $40 upward. Teeth extracted swithout
pain. DIR. MORFFEW. I2O Suffer street, s. +.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25

HERMANN has tie finest stock of hats Of any stor,
on this coast. Hermann has all the latest styles
Hermann sells at the lowest possible prices. Herr
mann never msrepresents. If you want ha
call on him, at 4O2 Kearny. or at his branch, Oh
Market street. San Francisco
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25

CARE OF CELLARs.-At this season of
the year cellars need looking after. The
cellar under the house should never be
used as n store-house of vegetables and
fruits, except in small quantities, during
the winter. Keeping several hundred
bushels of roots under the rooms where
families live is something which should
never be tolerated. But where it is done
the whole should be cleaned and purified
as early as possible. Chloride of lime is
cheap and common preventive of foul
odors. Chloralum is another, nearly ms
cheap and even more etficacious. With
all decaying vegetables removed and
buried in some out-of- the way place, and
the sound vegetables placed where they
will I've dry, there need be no fear that
these disinicctants will not prevent any
evil odors making their way to the fam
ily living in rooms. AS warm weather
approaches, cellar windows should be
opened to allow circulation of air
Country Gentleman.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25

KINDNESS TO ANNALS pays to
treat domestic animals kindly. There is
no animal so stupid US not TO know the
difference between kind and unkind treat
ment, and none so vicious or ungrateful
as not to respond in kind to the hand that
pets and caresses it. The vicious horse
has almost always been timid colt, and
required only kind and gentle treatment
to drive away fear and establish conf
dence, to render him docile.
1t is the nature of all animals to re
sent ill treatment, even from one of their
own species, and to fight when imposed
upon. Thus the horse will return kick
or = bite, while the horned animal will do
battle with the arms with which nature
has furnished it.
A timid and spirited colt is very Latu-
rally and rapidly changed into vicious
and manageable horse by rough and
unkind handling-and the timid hcifer,
by the same treatment, becomes an ugly
hooking and kicking COW. Domestic
animals recognize kind words as we'll as
kind acts, and cross word at a critical
moment Will bring fight and deter
mined opposition, where kind word
would have Gained fear and subdued
anger. In handling domestic animals,
that man is the most successful who
governs his own passions. With do
mestic animals, kindness begets kind
ness, and passion begets passion.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1878-07-25
Forcing Rhubarb.

Rhubarb or Pie-Pant has of late years
become so universally popular rs an early
spring vegetable that we often wonder
why it is not more generally forced
into growth in winter. 1t is u plant
possessing great vitality, and not readily
killed by neglect, besides it will grow
almost anywhere. provided the tompera-
turo is above freezing point. Any family
who has a warm kitchen or cellar in
which to set the plants may have plenty
of rhubarb in winter if they will take tine
trouble to put few roots into large pots,
boxes or tubs this fall, and store them
where they can be had when required.
1t is better to take up the roots in Sep
TENDER than later in the season, because
the soil will have sufficient time to thor
oughly settle about the roots and new
1bres issue before cold weather. Very
little light is required or necessary for
forcing rhubarb, as the stalks are more
tender and less acid when grown in the
shade than when fully exposed to light.
The kitchen is the best place to force the
plants, provided the heat is kept up dur
ing the night-at least the temperature
should not be allowed to sink below 40
or so degrees Fair. A good rank rhu-
barb plant in the kitchen or elsewhere is
not only an ornament, bnt a useful thing
to have about the house in winter, and
every housewife will know how to cover
a coarse tub or box with moss, or ,arse
cloth to make it correspond with
other furniture of the room. When one
set of plants begins to fail, throw away
and bring another from the store room,
because of their little intrinsic value, as
every farmer is supposed to have plenty
of rhubarb. If the first plants started in
the fall or early in winter arc potted in
rich soil and we'll cared for, they will
usually last through the season, or until
spring, and further supply will not be
required.--Rural New Yorker.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1878-08-30

Cause No 20
STATE or INDIANA, DrBoIs CouN1Y. = /.
NOTICE Is hereby given to Charlotte
a. Burnam. Lawson w. n,rnap,
and Violet Il. Burnam. who ~ appenr.
10y affidavit filed are non-rcsiden,s of ~
State Of Indiana, that William II. Ma
Keen has filed complaint ana com
incnced nm action against them. N TN
dubois Circuit Court and ~ nv stale
~ Indiana. 70 quiet The title ~ Real
Estate. situated in said County. Saii
defendants are therefore hereby notified
"a the filing 81 said complaint. and pen.
dency Of said action against them. ana
mat unless they appear and answer ~
uemur thereto, n fhc calling or said
cause on the second dav OF the next
Term, ~ said Court. Ia ~ begun aud
heiu ~ The Court Honsc. ID tlsr town
o. Jasper IN said County Or punni<.
on The Second Monday of October. 1878.
>aid compliant aud matters aud things
therein contained and alleged viii ~
heard aud determined III their absence.
PETER n. GosNAxN. Clerk
Dubois Circuit Court.
WV. Z. liENpRiCH AND nRrNn BrNTr-
ser. plaintiffs Aftorgeys
AuA- 10Th is7s--au. Ip.fsT5o.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1878-08-30
COURT NOTICE.

STATE or INDIANA. Dusols CouSTy 8
In the Dubois Circuit Court. Octoher
Term. 1879. Elizabeth +. Do,son "
David r. Dotsou.
Be u known. that on this. 18th dav az
August 1873. the above named plain,ill.
by her attorneys filed ia the Office ~ the
Clerk Of Dubois county. her comnlsinf
against said defendant. together Win Al
affidavit ef disintercsted person. ,bat
said David \. Do,son. the defendan, '' II
THIS action. the same being an action for
= decree OF divorce. Il not n resirlan, ~
the State Of Indiana. Said defen,,a,,
David r. Dotson. IL ther ef;orc hcrohv
notified ~ The filing and rendcnrv y
said complaint against him. and tbat ~.
less nc appears aud answer or demmr
thereto, ~ the calling OF said ranse ~
the second day or Tic next term NJ MN
dubois tircuit Conrt. to DC becun anl
ne'd A. the Court House, III the Town ~
Jasper: Dubois County. Indiana -, M
Second Monday Of October. ls7s NV
same will be heard and determined n
his absence. '"'"eu ~
PETERJ. GOsMA ANN. Clcrk
Dubois Circuit Court.
dillon a Dillon, Attorneys.
Aug. ~ is7S--.iw. Tp.fe- ~
~
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1878-08-30

~ Inc election day drawcth nigh,
III" me people will choose their public
'a"'s. They should remember to
se those who will be faithful scrv-
~ ~ ana who arc not likely 10 feel the
800 800 . lightly rs 20 cndravor 10 be.
.o e public masters. some officers
$50. W. 'ney have been elected, have be-
49,. s arrogant and independent or The
Z rs1p'e, aud endeavored often - display
$3.50, $3.50 ','''le brief authority such char.
awh;,a asn better be len out il lie cold
cbnoae he people have good men N
s smong this election.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1878-08-30

~ We think ans attempt 10 reduc.
the wages Of the teachers in our public
schools j iniudicious. Their salaries
have never been in proportion 10 the
labor and capital invested in comparison
with The other professions. Our school.
n Jasper have been particularly pros
ferrous, aud l. would be unfortunate TO
change teachers now.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1878-08-30

fTIt is singular 70 notice the large
proportion Of person, who attempt 10
make public addresses. whose principal
resource seems 10 be buster instead
brains and i j. amazing how tie blus
Ter takes sometimes.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1878-08-30

gJSome chap who loves fun shut
and locked the Courthouse door last
Friday. thereby locking large part OF
the Teachers Association aud the sheriff
inside. The Sheriff got out ola window
and opened the door.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1878-08-30

PNsrrSa.- Mr.. T. Wifhers has moved
70 Jasper, and Is now prepared to
take contracts Tor painting of MI kinds.
iie tees confident lie eau give salisfac-
ton. and only ASKS a fair trial. When
not ~ work he may BE- found at bis resi-
dence Ia the Bohneri property.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1878-08-30

uThe Indiana Conference of the
Reformed Methodist church. meets In
Annual session, on next "Wednesday.
September 4th. at Union Valley, Ia this
county. All Christian people are cordi-
ally invited to attend.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1878-08-30

~ There was quite a gay crowd OF
young gents on our streets last SUNDAY
evening making the night-air Of balmy
Summer evening hideous. Learn better
manners, boys.