Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1878-11-21
Sips of Fun.

SCtluSc utiHSSIl do pcil ouuubCi
Swcetening ones coffee is
generally the first stirring event
OF the day.
When halter fits a cap to
your Uranium he cap sizes your
head, doesn't he ?
| No wonder the climate didn't
agree with him when none Of
his acquaintanccs ever could.
"In.o the chaws of death, !"
said the man who fell among
the teeth Of a buzz saw.
GLOW can we help our town?'
asks a Chicago editor. Did you
ever try leaving il?
A learned Bid.lelord. Maine.
deacon says. "New York is as rot
ten as S dom and Tomorrow"
II anything will reduce a full
grown fat man it is a well direct
ed bank failure.
A Scotch wit says there is no
reason why the phonegraph should
not be spoken Of as "she." 1t re
pests everything.
The Richmond Religious Oh
serUer wants It's subscribers who
are arrears to pay up, even if they
have to borrow the money to pay
with.
AT The laying Of the corner
stone ofthe new capitol Of Iowa,
no speeches made except few
remarks By a workman who got
his fingers pinched, and they
were brief and to the point.
1t is the intention of General
Sherman to fight the Indians in
the future with none but bald
headed soldiers, and for that
purpose a bounty is TO be offered
to married men.
JoEcs, whose fore arm was
amputaied at hospital, speaks
in high praise of that institution,
though he say S he shall never
forget that oif-hand treatment
of his.
A cotcmporary says that"Til-
den will enter the coming war.
with vigor that will startle his
opponents But what docs
Til,ien know about war? He
never was married.,
II could kill him for two
cents" shouted an cnraged man
to an offending ncighbor. 1t
vas an ugly hreat but it sound
cd good. 1t shows hat we are
getting down to aatte beI'.m pri-
ces.
"Wcrc you ever shot 2" asked
the old lady, dusting her glass
es and taking a good look at the
soldicr. No, i never was ex-
actly," said the boozy warrior,
"but I've been half shot good
many times"
A workingwmnan says if tie
sturdy, industrious girls should
stop marry ing and supporting he
/. llows who stand on the street |
corners aud smoke fifteen cent ci-
gars for living. there weull be |
ten tramps ON the road where
there is one now.
81 move the previous qucs.
tion," sand a delegate to a Mon
tana Convention. The Chair
man-',Ti the Cllnir rccollccts
right the question was OH adj
journing Tor drinks. Those in
favor say yes contrary minded,
no. 1t is a vote"
An cid deacon went to a cir
Gus and took his grandchild, re-
marking to every acquaintance
he met that the hoy wanted to
see The sacred animals, and he
couldn't find it in his heart to
refuse him. Arriving at the
tent he cried to go home, and
The deacon spanked him to make
him go in.
"Is the doctor in2" asked an
anxious looking young man, as
he paused halfway mp the stair
way leading to DIR. Stones Of
fee, yesterday. "No, / guess
not" replied the person adj
dressed, "but you can leave an
order on the slate" The yourg
man hesitated a moment.
DWELL, l CESS ] would hardly
have time to watt" he said. ''Is
it a very urgent casc?" "WeIl,
yes" the young man said ''rath-
er urgent, / think. Just as /
started away from home my
youngest brother was falling out
of second-story window"
eyes, fellow citizens" said
wild Western orator, with gold at
par, greenbacks at premium, the
tax taken off raw whisky, our
debts nil paid. and Liberiy-the
dear old gal has a new dress,
the eagle an additional arrow and
fresh olive branch, | ask what is
it to prevent Us from being the
greatest people on earth? | pause