South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1878-07-05

"hSAS
-Yonkers Gazette.
Every man seeks his fortune,
but the hand-orYan business is best
fortunes.- WhitehdU Times. And
vet It is somewhat cranky.-West
Jersey Pess.-But many q man
has taken q turn at it.-Edenburgh
Herald.
We like that church best which
tolerates Elm, and does not interfere
with our prejudices. We resem BILE the
little girl wanted to visit her grand
ma because "she made lots of GIN
ger-snaps and always kept them on
the lower shelly. Y. Herald.
Verify, it is cheaper to 60 to meet
ing and yawp about the rights If
labor than to give the laborer q job,
even though thy house be out of re-
pair and thy grounds in disorder
Courier Journal.
Continually some philosopher is
advertising "How to marry on five
hundred dollars q year" Will
some other philosopher equally be-
'nevolent and ingenious, advertise
How to get the FIVE hundred dollars
a year T-Boston Porcupine.
A charm 10 the primrose yellow
Isl by the halcyon skies, 1.sd %
And over the valley sweet, mellow,
The black bird playfuliy fiies; = ~
The dew gems the iowerets pistil,
Tbeswallow fits, over the weir,
And bright shines the shimmerfng cry g
Upon the schooner of beer.
Puck.
1t will take a million dollars to
dam the Ohio River at Pittsbur gh
~ Y. Ne,rs-oniy one cent. Plant
q few snags in the channel there
abouts and the steamboat men will
essentially fix it in that way for
nothing. Cincinnati Breakfast Ia
bic.
This IL the month OF flannel suits.
Tender, delicious, honey ful June,
When the lover plays on hin "amorous
And the nightinsale's seldom out oftune
Oh this il the month of delicate ferns;
Oh this is the month of soft blue skies
When the average young mans fancy
To oolored stockings and oxford.tie..
Puck.
Every man must work his own
way through this world. Nothing
but q mules hind legs spring up
spontaneously.-Hartord Sunday
Journal. How did you ascertain
the latter geological fact f-Hack-
ensack Repubiican.-Weg ass'd it.
Went to the circus, you know
Hartford Sunday Journal.
J. w. Brown has q eve which
gave birth to FIVE perfect lambs.
All died. Whitehall Times. Bro.
Childs will eve please write a eve
logistic obit-ewe-ary notice of the
lamb entable affair ?-Torch. This
is sheep joke, but we consent to
ram it in while we are wool gath
ering for items.-Boston Porclpine.
Still water has no current at all.
-Ne,O Orleans Picayane. Still,
water has a current sometimes
Graphic. Nothing unusual here
for still water to have a cur int
Port Chester Journal. Well, did
you ever hear the cur int whine
Graphic. No; but we've seen the
cur 'entwine with weeds.-Herad.
"P. / Nan"
En- Brace is a popular GIRL
Yonkers Gazette. Yes, but En-
Dash can beat her.-Hudson Riuer
Chronicle. We know of a little
galley that sets over both of 'em.
- Oneontd Herald. En- Quad oc-
cupies the attention Of our compost.
tors very much Yonkers Gazette.
And En- t. Pocket occupies the
attention Of the publisher White.
hall Times. 10
Did you ever notice what diff
ferent aspect everything wears in
the sunshine from what il does in
the shadow?-E1change. Indeed
we have. Particularly in the case
of pair Of black pants, somewhat
aged, which will look az clean az a
whistle indoors, bot out in the sun
shine spots viii show up AZ frightful
ly conspicuous a. q piece Of Gus
tard In a mustache.-E mIra Ga
zette.
The Dstroit Free Press asks
Are watermelons healthyY7 They
are not. They are dropsical, and
never attain ripe cid age" SCI
dom living over six months.-Esy
risto,0n Herald. Mo- the oonsump.
ton of water melons is tsrrible.-
Guelph Herald. Not always.
Some people have made them lsok
sick.-Chiodgo Tunes. We hayea't
seen any sick ones around hero
Keokuk Consultation. They aro
- Ill 1aN ~