The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1877-1885, 1878-07-04
Gossip by Roberts.


green earth 10 ,tir tie lie Or poor
human nature, w~ashcrwomen are
the worst. An average sh~eNi. IN
tellectuaI. p~erSeyering wa,hwoman
will destroy more faith IN human
nature III j month than wears Of
philanthropy VIII build up. The
only arithmetic they know i sub
traction and the va ones hand
kerchiefs and collars disappear
causes the sad-eycd observer of
mankind To wall III agony. and ask
himself p%enSlyely r there i anoth-
and better world. Tioy viii keep
your clothes until the last moment.
and then smile blIndIy while YOU
gave a piece OF Your mini. If you
grasp a collar and AK her If She
calls that done M" the smile be-
comes FASTENED to assure YOU that
she does. | am naturally meek and
mild, and | only weep gently when
a vIllalnous washwoman. taking
advantage Of Bob Ingarsolls theo-
ry, brings me FIVE collars instead Of
slX, and seems TO think she Is de-
serving OF great praise for bringing
any back. | moan quietly 70 my
self when | find a hole IN my best
handkerchief, ana am told, Il
| jerked it of the line kinder quick
like" | deal gently with the er-
ring when | find the cuffs are not
mates. | make no remark when |
find the cuffs are not mine 1T all.
All these things | bear with achris-
tian resignation, born only through
an Xce of early piety: but when
she brings me a collar with a but
ton-hole in he back my gentle ma
ture rebels, and | 90 out IN the
backyard and commune with ma
ture a spell. \ reckless and Infat
uated old washwoman dumped
for there is no other word to de-
scribe the manner IN which they
get ones clothes out Of the basket
my things last week on a sofa,
and then disappear before | discov-
cred that wicked collar with " but
ton-hole in the back. and again /
wept because | was not a man and
had IA boot-jack handy. \ boot
jack is one Of the incest things ia
the world to ease ones temper. 1t
is easy to pick up and handy to
throw, and it makes "a noise that Is
relieving to ones feelings. Taking
them all together, they are soothing
little things to have around.
Another set of beings that pre-
vent this world from being an earth
" paradise are the chambermalds.
They are a secret, sly enemy to
their race; a well-regulated one,
who understands her business, will,
in a short time, pull down a struc-
ture Of christian fortitudcand equa-
nimity that 1t has taken wears Of pi-
Gus training to rear. She Will make
YOUR bed in such i such Il way that
YOU. night isspent IN climbing out
Of a valley III the center to a noun
tain each side, only to roll back
again. No human ersuasion can
make her tuck the clothes in firm
" at the foot, and she makes a
point OF putting the very thing you
want where no n could find 1t.
She will chuck your slipper clear
under the bed, and thereby cause
YOU to amuse Yourself by getting
down on your hands and knees and
raking them out. Anyone who
can 90 through this operation, with
the thermometer fooling among
the nineties, and still be a good
Universalist, has strong religious
faith. She will take the very news
paper you wanted. and which you
had folded and placed undera book,
tear it IN two, put M half on your
washstand, and make the other
half do like service IN Jones room ):
and when gently demonstrated with,
will say, There was nothing Iii it
anyway" If she can spill your ink
she feels that life is not all a blank.
She will comb her hair with your
comb and brush it with your brush.
She will try the perfumery III every
room, until BY the time she gets
through she IS perambulating city
Of Cologne, that has forty different
smells.
Among the aggravating things of
life are matches. For small and
apparently harmless looking things
they have been the cause of more
people falling from grace than any
thin | can think of. They were
never known to be just where YOU
left them, and if you have only one
it will flash up as if laughing at
you and then 90 straight out. Ii
IS a pleasant experience to 90 home
late at night, grope your way
through dark halls into your room.
and put your hand on the stand