The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1878-04-09

4
the point, your Honor"
How to start q roomer nowadays
just let his lsndlady ask him for next
weeks hoard in advance.-N. Y. Com.
Advertiscr.
The English language is inadequate
to express the forlorn feelings Of the
boy who thinks he has stolen dime
novel and finds 1t to be a cookbook
Turner's Falls Reporter
The little man blushed when he asked
the tall lady il he shouldn't carry her
waterproof, when he discovered that It
was q fashionable long train which she
carried over her arm - Yankee Blade.
A news item says that an English
traveller in the HOLY Land has discover
ed Jacobs Well. We are delighted to
hear it. There has been rumor ahoat
for some time that Jacob was dead
Oh CITY Derrick.
A telephone is among the things that
wire.-Boston Post. A silver dollar Is
among the things that wear.-Luzerne
Sentinel. But the British lion is not
among the things that war.-Chicago
Times.
sBut Paul, how can the Spirit be in
rs and We in the Spirit at the same
time?" said the young pan to vener.
able darkey. '.Oh, dar's no puzzle bout
dat. It's like dat poker; puts 1t in de
fre and it gets red hot. Now, de poker's
10 de FIRE, and de fires in de poker"
1t is suggested that at the next Presi-
dental election the people vote On the
question whether there is future pun
ishmeht. We are afraid there would he
too much ballot-box stufing on the neg
ative side Of the question, and Satan
would be counted out" "-NorristoCn
Herald. ~
Bishop Clark once went to see one Of
his parishoners, lady with prodigious
family, which had recently been increas.
ed, As be rose to leave, the lady stop-
ped him, with: "Bnt you haven't seen
my last baby" "No," he quickly re-
piled, ..and / never expect to! Then
he hed
There are queer hooks and corners
left in old England. A visitor to coun-
try. parson tells how, when. he accom-
panied him lately to take the duty in re-
mote parish, the sexton said: perhaps
your reverence won't mind preaching
from the chancel, for we've a duck a-sft-
tim in the pulpit
An Irishman, fresh from the old coun-
try, saw turtle for the first time, and
at once made up his mind to capture it.
The turtle caught him by the finger, and
he, holding it at arms length, said -
"Faith, and We had better let loose the
how'll ye have, or I'll kick We out of the
box ye sit in, be jabers
Here is good verse from poem
ELECTED by the discussion OF the question
OF future rewards and 'punishments:
.'It is easy enough for the lovers of sin to
Believe in no heaven they can not get into,
And natural, too, for the wicked to doubt of
Ashsll which they fear they can not keep
ont or
Du Chaillu mentions an African CHIEF
who had three hundred wives, yet it only
costs him three cents year 10 dress
each one Of them. This is not so very
remarkable. We can pick out man iu
our own town who has only one wife
and it doesn't cost him a cent TO dress
her. On the contrary, tcosts her about
one hundred and fifty dollars year to
-dress him..
A Bridget, evidently new.to the mys
teries Of marketing, seeing pet owl in
front OF poulterer's stand in Washing
ton Market Yesterday, said to its owner
.What wad We be askin' for that broad,
faced goose ?" Goose that's an owl,
was the contemptuous reply. "Owld is
1t, you're sayin'7 Sure it's myself that
can bile the bird till it's tinderr--Nex
York Tribune.
The Rev Mason Chenowith stepped
down from his pulpit in Bangor, Me-.
sitter preaching an eloquent sermon or
"Purity OF Character, and was immedi
ately surrounded, as usual, by admirine
members Of bis congregation, who de
sired to shake bis hands. A constable
then entered and arrested him. He ha:
since been sent to Ohio, where be ha:
three living wives, to be tried for biga
NV. There is also charge Of forgery
against him.
Learned professors have occasionally
heen out-witted by the sayings Of tn,
simple. DR. Hill, an Edinburgh profes
sor OF the last century, met, 10 the sub
urbs of the city an inoffensive creture whit
was generally regarded as an imbecile
Somewhat irritated by the creatures in
trusion on the privacy OF his walk, tn
professor said to him, "How long, Tom
may one live without brtins ?" II dinn
KEN" said Tom, show long hae ye live'
yerser ?
There used to be man-gone Wes
now. poor fellow-in the United State
railroad mail service, ran east of Bur
liDgton, whose eyes were so crooked h'
could carom with them He could holt
postal card oHt al arms length befor
him, read the address with one eye ant
look around the end and read tie mes
sage on the other side with the other
and watch a man trying to climb in a
the car door behind him, all at the sam
time. He left the service because be al
Ways had to 60 to the door on the othe
side of the Car to see the station.
Horse6esh eating, far from declining
has so increased in Paris that last yea
I0.l69 horses. asses and mules were Gu
up for food. In the Capital there are
upward of sixty horse-meat shops, be
sides many in provihcial French cities
A comparison Of the lO,l69. equine ami
mails eaten in 1877, with the 2192 o
1857, illustrates the steady progress o
l.e y. tJ;t.;.1 .~1 Ia &s;o, 4,