Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1878-05-23
HUmOROUs.

Inc lightning rod swindlers will soon
| the agent. D''' -
He who reels and staggers most IN +hs
journey of life, takes the strai0btoat ~ ~
to the devil.
Alleged strawberry shortcakes bava
made their appearance at Chicago and
other bankrupt centers.
An exchange takes half a column to
tell ''What we drink" whereas. soma
folks have simply to wink at the bar
keeper.
From physiological point of view.
Russia and Austria are both right. At.
ter getting Hung(a)ry, of course thev
want a slice OF Tukey.
A newspaper man, who breaks the Sab
bath, excuses himself thus: ssIf fish are
wicked enough to bite on Sunday, they
ought to suffer for it.
A little Florida boy tanned an alligator.
and the ugly reptile learned to like the
little fellow-not, however, until the lit
tie fellow was all gone.
DO you see any grapes, Bob?' eYes,
but there is dogs Big dogs, Bob?' yes,
very big Then come along. These
grapes are not ours, you know
Don't you find that it hurts your lawn
to let your children play on it?' asked
friend of suburban, the other day. Yes,'
answered the gentleman addressed; but
it does not hurt the children
Since the introduction of female post
masters, a girl goes up to the window and
says, Is there letter for Miss Margaret
Robinson?' Yes says the female post
master, 'here is one from John McJones.
A witness, on being cross-questioned
lately, swore that he was in the habit of
associating with every grade of society,
from lalogers up. The lawyer who had him
in hand agsped out That's ALP and sat
down.
Lady on shopping excursion-'Oh dear,
that blanket is mach too goodl want It
for charitable purposes. Punch.
Mamma, dear, FrancOisy, the new
nurse, always says her prayers in French.
Do you think she will be understood p
Punch.
A lawyer, who wanted postponement,
appealed to the judge to let the broad-ax
of justice be SWING by the hand of mer-
cy.' 1t was swung.
| Hotel guest, on retiring: q want to get
up at 8 o'clock Faeetieus night-elerk:
Have not got one, SIR Guest: Not got
what?' Clerk: "A potato clock
1 notiss one thing. The man who rides
on the kars every day is satisfied with
one seat; but the man who rides once q
year wants at least four.-Josh Billings.
A Sunday-schOol boy, at MaysEille, KY,
was asked by the Superintendent if his
father was Christian. Yes, SIR he re-
piled, ebut he is not working at it much. ,
A Leading health journal says, ssNever
go to bed with cold feet.'' If your feet
are cold, you'd better leave them down
stairs alongside of the kitchen fire when
you go to ded. The advice given in health
Journals should be needed.
Suppose person were to be unkind to
you, or strike you, what would you do p
A pause engued, when one little girl,
sharper than the rest, made the following
Iaconic reply; 1T i'm again.
After all, man is a generous being.
Not long ago one died in Massachusetts
who had been married only a year, and
received fortune of fifty thousand dol
lars from his wife. And what did he do
when he found death staring him in the
face Not enrich his relatives as he might
have done; he wiIled it all back to her
again, on the simple condition that she
should not marry again. The noble man
= Womdn'S Words.