The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1878-12-14
.CIuus ANN rIEST.


is down. ,.
Truth IL sed to be stranger than
fickshun-it is, to most pholks.
Which is oldest the man who aska
| a question or the man who answers2
The man who asks, because he Is the
querist.
--"D1 fishes go crazy?" is couun-
drum proposed by Seth Green. Some
times they get in seine. e.
The class in German grammar is
on the subject Of gendeys. miss Flora,
why Is 'mool' masculine in German?'i
$50 that she can go out alone nights,
suppose"
! The natives Of Lord Uowe's Island
in the Sopth Pacific petitoned for four
schoolmasters and some iron pots. The
gentle aboriginea evidently contemplate
giving a party, ..t
Three hundred thousand men and
women in New York live at boarding
houses, and yet people wonder that
| dyspepsia is on the increase in this
country, ...
One of Sir Boyle Roche's invita-
! tions to an Irish nObleman was rather
equivocal: 81 hope, my lord, IL you
ever come within mile of my House
you'll stay there all night" g.,
WHAT" said an interviewer to an
unpedged candidate, "do you intend
to do if you are elected?" my good
ness. said the poor fellow, "what
shall do if am not olected9"
-"Doctor, DOCTOR" painted mes.
Senger, "come down the street-quickl
There's man dropped in a ftr' "1Ip
an apopletic?" questioned the. doctor.
mo, sir, he's in an ulster" answered
the messenger.
"A man very much intoxicated was
taken TO the station house. "Why did
you not bail him out?" impaired a by
stander of friend. "Bail him QUIT"
exclaimed the other, "why, you could
not pump him out"
Said Mrs. Fitz- Maurice! ".T'he deaf
child is such an ethereal creature, and
so delicate. You will scarcely credit II,
but she lost a hair.pin out of her head
one day last week, and she has had d
frightful cold ever snce.'
A firm in Columbus, Ca, received
few days ago the following order !
"Messrs.- Dear Sirs; Please send
me Cd won Koon Dog-the very Best
10 re had in your market. Pick oufa
good tree dog if you Kan, and oblIge."
Those fellows who are eternally
asking, "What are our girls doing?"
had better get one and find out from eX-
perience. Just at present most of them
are trying to convince the old gentle
man they can't 60 to church without q
new winter hat.
-''Masterly inactivity" was first al,
luded to by Isaiah, when he said (xxx
y. "Their strength is to sit STILL"
This strength to sit still' is wonderful,
ly developed in some of the moneyed
citizens of Lehghton, and is the main
cause why our town he's no manufac-
tories.
AT a recent marriage ip o suburban
town the bridegroom, When asked the
important question if he would tak5
the lady for better or for worse, re-
piled, in hestating manner: "Well
l think will" Upon being told that
he must be more positive in his decla+
ration, ho answered; "Well, don't
care II do"
lie had broken his promise to
marry the girl. and her father wanted
money consideration to help heal a
wounded Heart. The young man said
he would consider reasonable propo-
sltion. "NYell, them" said the irate
father, who was seeking justice for his
daughter, "Young man, how does O.
dollar and half strike your
Since our proof reader heard that
Mr.. Bancroft gave $50 for a discovery
of an error Il, Latin quotation, he has
been estimating the number of like er-
ors he has corrected in correspondents
manuscript, and now sends in bill for
So, 764 ,S03, o.. But we think we are
equal to the emergency. You should
have seen his eountenance fall when we
asked for bill of particulars.
Transcript.
The electric light il all well enough,
but it ls not near so important as the
flour question. Edison should turn his
attention to that, and discover why 1t
is that barrel of -four, containing
four and a half bushels of wheat, cost
ing SO 80, should be retailed at 81 to So.
The number of people who depend
upon flour for food is much larger than.
the number who depend upon gas for
light.
"A young man at st. Paul, Mimi,
found, on going TO a mind'reading en-.
tertainment, that his two rivals had
taken seats on either side of his sweet,
heart. Being asensible young man, he
sent up their names to the mind reader
as eligible subjects whereupon to test
his art, and when, amid The acclama-
tions of the audience, his rivals mount
ed the penitential platform aud proceed.
ed to make themselves ridiculous, he
trlumphantly tooy bis seat beside
the lady.
"A Brazilian Count, a millionaire,
was dining at the table d'hote Of fash
ionable hotel. His outlet was to his
taste and he ordered another. ,sWe
only give one cCtet," said the mara,s
ger. ''ahd no bread with one fish ball"
Without a word the Count rose, went
out, bought the hotel, led the manager
to the front door and kicked him down
the steps, then reseating himself at the
table said, Bring me another outlet"
They brought it, swift as the eagle
cleayes the air.
Ono night last week, at party In,
Toronto, young man was frightening
some of the young ladies by his daring
exhibition Of revolver, when the wea-
pom was accidentally discharged, tho
bultSt entering the young mans side,
intleting a serious wound. We have
said good many harsh things about
these.yOung men whose Teyolvers con-
tain more than their heads, but we re-
tract everything now. At last a revOl-'
yer has been found that knows which
man to shoot. May its tribe increase.
--One of the spanish provincial pfs!-'
pers publishes singular notice in its
obituary. 1t says: "This morning our
Saviour summoned away the jeweler,
Slebald nlmaga, from his shop to anoth-