Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1878-08-09
NO. So.
Humorous.
dry dock a thirsty physician.


congress.
The quickest way to destroy weeds is
70 marrya y widow, II is an agrcohlo
species 81 huShanday
Preacher, My son Is your father
4 Christian" /" BOY "lcs, sir, but ho am't
working at il much lately
Women faint op tho slightest pre-
toxts. Mrs. Miller, of West Virginia,
tainted after ehopping OIL Mr.. Millcr's
head.
Pigs feed ON aeorns. This reminds us
, that lard Jokes from these Same acorns
ow.-kcetatk Constitution.
There that explains whcrc my
/ clothcs.lncs went tor exclaimed nm
Iowa woman as she found her husband
hanging in the stable,
\ woman may not hc able to sharpen
u pencil OF throw stones ut hen, but
she can pack moro articles into trunk
than man can III II onc-horso wagon
What's tho man Yelling att" asked
an Illinois farmer Of his boy. "Why" "
chuckled tho boy "hes yelling at the
top of his voice.
Are you the mate Of this ship ?" said
n newly arrived passenger to the cook.
No, sir. | ann the man that cooks the
mate said the llibernian.
A girl in Waukogan, H., on the
Fourth of July, swallowed twenty per-
cussion-caps, Her mother relrainod
from smaeking her for fear of m OK
ploSion.
Mr.. llugg, Of Norristown, Is continu-
ally afflicted by the girls of his vicinity,
who insist on remarking whenever they
see him, "Go away, sir shan't do it,
you ridiculous creature. ~ Bubdio Er-
press.
Tho man who has never seen two
women in Shaker bonnets trying to kiss
each other, has never experienced the
rcjuvcnNting power of II laugh thnt
could throw him down and kick him in
tho ribs.
When II bridegroom finds all the
clothes he owns in the world hung one
over the other ON hook behind the
pantry door, he realizes for the first
time TINT the honeymoon Is over
AndretU's Bdsar.
The things which people are willing
TO give us nre the things which we do
not want. When Lincoln was sick with
tho smallpox he said 10 ono Of his nt-
tendants; "Send up the otliceseekcrs.
AT last I've got something for them"
This is circus week Now when tho
lemonade liend squoezos between the
seats, tramis on your toes, mashes your
hat, deafens you with his yolls and sits
down on your girls lap, brain him and
do your suffering fellow citizen serv-
ice.
When the immortal gods look down
md SEQ II tall young man Mt church
socable, sitting on low hassock, and
Irying To hold II plate Of cake, il saucer
y ice cream, and cup Of coffee IN his
mp, they knit their brows and think
here il u mistake somewhere, and that
! young mans knees should have been
made like u beavers tail fiat as IA shin
,le, eight inches wide and turned flat
ide up.
lie had made II hearty meal ut
estanrant, and getting up he said TO
no waiter, III declare, If ! haven't for
.ot my purse Tho waiter fired up
nd hurled big swords at him for full
hree minutes before pausing for breath.
When n chance came the stranger con
iuncd, But have II five dollar note in
ny pocket" The waiter couldn't
mile to save his life
a farmer being poorly provided with
material Of sustenance for his men, fcd
hem with pork cooked with the rind
n IT, A young man Of the company, not
king the outer portion Of tho food, was
bserved by tho host To be carefully
the outside covering, where
pom the latter said: "Young man, we
ut the rind and all here" TO which
ne youth replied; "All right, I'm cut
ng il of for YOU
A young man in an Austin, (Nev,)
arber shop was particular to have his
loustache nicely perfumed. Going
, call on q young lady, SUPPOSE" the
arber asked. The young man, with
luch dignity, replied, "See here, my
lend, do You suppose put pcrlumcry
i my moustachc because I'm going 10
" man, or boy, or MI old woman,
I Il babe in arma2 DO men gather
apes Of thorns or figs Of thistlesW
Farmer Jones painted his barbed wire
nee blue, plain blue. FarmerSmiths
ife swore she wasn't going to be out
me, and the fence around the Smith
rm soon blossomed out red, picked
ith white. Mrs. Jones wasn't going to
I'VE any Of the Smith family putting on
RS over her and their blue fence was
on trimmed with gold leaf stripes.
NTH trumped over by putting gilt ball
every barb and Jones, when last
,ard from, was planting weather vanes,
Il horses, peacocks and lightning-rod
- all over his fence, and swearing