The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1878-09-26
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Why is a lady'S bonnet like cupolaH Because
II covers the belle.
How does COW become landed eslateH By
turning her into field.
Red Is used for danger signals on railroads and
| II always means TO stop" On mans noso 10
ought 10 give the same warning.
The young ladies OF Vassar are not allowed m
have pets within the college, other than the repu-
| ular professor.
10 get figs from thistles; Reduce one ton OF
Ihislles to seventy pounds Of potash. Then sell
your potash for cash. Then take the cash and
buy lgs,
Parents are never satisfied. In bathing season
inc ambitious infant is thrashed for taking 10 wa
ter In later life he Is held In wltherng scorn for
abstaining from 1t.
Fine nainsoOk, embroidered, makes lovely
slips for children" says a fashion journal. Or
ange peel on side walk continues TO be good
enough for men.
The question has been asked, "Can christian
go to the clrcusp "Yes, until he Is married and
then In most cases the circus comes to him."
Go West young man. It is charming place,
Those who don't freeze to death In winter get
sunStIuck In summer. The others are killed in q
tornado
Every once In a while we hear of'a California
woman killing bear. This is all right. But we
challenge the world to ransack the pages OF his-
tory, and show us where a woman ever got away
with mouse.
Picnic sandwiches are all right on a picnic. but
when they are brought home from the grove and
trotted out on the following six days, then, In
deed, patience ceases 10 be virtue
The garter that the Queen gave ancient Beac
amt much of thing after all It's an old garter
the Oldest in the country-and worn by all the
royal family, and twenty-five ordinary roosters in
the realm.
The college youth who graduated last week
with the expectation Of starting out in the world
and being statesman, next month will be In
vain looking for a job to run a soda fountain In
second class drug store.
According to that wicked sheet the Mems LETTER
there is girl In Santa Barbara with such a big
mouth that the other day, when she smiled at a
fellow on the street. kind hearted little boy ex.
claimed with great earneStness Look out, miss
your lids coming offP'
The things people are willing to give us are the
things we do not want When Lincoln was sick
with smallpox he said to his attendants, "send
up the oiiice'seekers. AT last have got some =.
thing for each one of them"
An old lady passenger was so much impressed
by the polite attention she received from a rail-
road conductor in Connecticut that she reoentlv
LEFT him two thousand five hundred dollars by
her will But will this catch the eye and 20 to
the hearts Of other conductors?
II you were in the jungles and should meet
royal Bengal tiger, what would you do ?" induIr.
cd one cockney of another II don't know what
should do but know if 1 was on Bond street
should take a cab."
"Missis isn't home, sir" said the carefully In
strucled parlor maid to the pastor when he called
my child" said the good man, sadly, having in
mind the divine ordinance, do you know what
1t is that people who tell falsehoods do not keep
mo hired girl was the sententious answer.
| book farmer was discoveredaslttlng under q
tree In one corner of his grain field few morn
ings since reading in a very loud tone, repor-
| OF the Beecher Tilton trial. He explained that
the weather was very hoti and he was trying
new plan to "shock his wheat
little daughter Of a Connecticut clergyman
was left one day to tend door" and obeying q
summons of the bell, she found gentleman on
the steps who wished to see her father. Father
isn't in, said she, "but if it is anything about
your soul can attend to you. I. know the whole
plan of salvation"
This is the time when thelanquorous,white lily
waxen'pale upon the smooth bosom of the lake,
waits until the enthusiastic lover Of nature with
a sun'umbrella has gone from the margin of the
pond and then privately draws out red bandan.
ma pocket handkerchief and swabs off her heat
ed brow, murmering meanwhile, "Oh blazes"
minister's life has frequent disappolntments.
During the great revival stolid matter.of fact
farmer went into the inquiry room, and was at
once taken in hand by anxious and Jealous work =.
ers. He seemed to be visibly affected by the
hymn that was sung, and after the prayer one or
two tears were apparently discovered When
asked Brother, do you feel any change ?" he
made rapid and instructive movement of his
pocket, and then settling back in his chair with
a sigh, replied, mot cent; that's just what I'm
after"