The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1878-05-18

4 bad marriage is like an electric
machine-it will make you dance,
but You cau't let go.
What is the difference between a
man aud Il tired dog One wears a
coat, the other pants.
"Beauty and bootyr was the cry
of the young man who kissed the
girl and was kicked by her father.
A shoemaker in Pennsylvania adj
yertises medical boots" The vir-
tue is supposed to be in the heal.
1.-The book trade is affected by the
general depression. What kind OF
books feel it mostg" Pocket books"
was the iaconic reply.
els this Alder creek 7" inquired
tourist of ali old man leaning over
fence. ayes. dis is all der creek
knows on" was the reply.
"Are these soaps all one scent ?
inquired IA lady of Juvenile sales
man. mo, ma'am, they are all ten
cents" replied the innocent chap.
The man who is always Dragging
thar his vile is worth her weight in
gold always let's her get up III the
night for medicine for the children.
Vanity is the godfather of tite
bopts and just so long az men mis-
take u number eleven foot tor a
Number nine boot, just so long We
shall see them linping around, with
boots on two sizes too small.
Athletic sports for ladies: Jump
ing at conclusions; walking round u
subject; running through "a novel;
skipping full descriptions: throwing
the hatchet; and during the holidays,
boxing the ears Of troublesome
young brothers.
ave read the in de good book"
says a coloied Baptist brother down
SoGtli. "of John de Baptist--nebber
John de Methodist" And that, says
"a Charleston correspondent of the
New York Observer, is the reason
most of the coiored Southern people
are Baptists.
"And now. Mrs. Sullivan said
the counsel, twill you be kind
enought to tell the jury whether
your husband was in the habit of
striking yoq with impunity 7" avid
what, sir n Nv it'll impunity." "He
was, sir, now and then, but he
struck me oftener wild his fisht.n
"lt's well enough for you to name
your boy Elias," said Aunt Hepzi-
bah, .'but for gracious goodness
sake don't naine him Alias, cause
the Aliases are always a'cutin' up
bad Here's Alias Jones, Alias
Brown. Alias Thompson, Alias One
Eyed Jack, all been took up for rob-
bin and stealin'.T
Ia Philadelphia the whole edition
Of "a primer was published containing
the following ludicrous mistake, in
consequence Of the omission of the
letter CT: a
When tie last trumpet soundeth,
We s,la.l uot all die
But we shall all be (c)hanged,
In tste twinkling of an eye"
A newsboy seated on the post Office
steps. counted his pennies over and
remarked: ..Seycnteen cents in all.
That's five for the circus, three for
peanuts, four for "a sinking fund,
four owe to Jack, and there's one
left 10 support widowed mother
on until Saturday night"
"You wiring my BOSOM" said a
despairing Baltimore lover to a CO.
quettisl. girl whom he had long
soaght in marriage His. burst of
grief decided her. and putting out
her hand, she softly murmured,
"Well! ring my finger, il you will
he happier for it; | will vex yon no
longer .giss
There WAS a ludicrously sudden
descent from the sublime to the ridi-
culous where a clergyman preach
ing Oh the ministry OF Angels sud
denly observed, Il hear a Whisper"
the change of tone started one of the
dcacons, who sat below, from n
drowsy mood, and sprinsing to his
feet lie cried, sits the boys in the
gallery
At prayer-meeting an old man
got mp and prayed for son now in =
felon.s cell for the crime of murder.
Another old man trembling joined
his prayers. adding that he, too, had
IA son, bat lie had been murdered.
Their names were made known, and
the fathers of Edward S. Stokes and
James Fisk. .jr., stood for the first
time face TO face.
Detroit boys seem to advance in
education whether they attend
school or not. A newsboy who
conld not change a ten-cent piece