The Lamoille news. (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1877-1881, 1878-05-15
The Troubles Of a Poet.


While Colonel Bangs, editor of the
Argus, was sitting in his Office one day,
a man whose brow was clothed with
thunder entered. Fiercely seizing a
chair, he slammed his hat on the table,
hurled his umbrella on the floor and sat
down.
care you the editor?" he asked.
eyes"
"Can you read writingi"
"Of course"
Read that, then," he said, thrusting
at the colonel an envelope with an in
scription on it.
"B--," said the colonel, trying to
spell it.
"That's not B. It's an s, said the
man.
IS; o yes; seel Well, the words
look little like Salt for Dinner, or
Souls of Sinners" said the colonel.
"No, sir" replied the man, nothing
of the kind That's my name-Sam1 FL.
Drummer. 1 knew you couldn't read. 1
called to see you about that poem of
mine you printed the other day, on the
'Surcease of Sorrow.
"[ don't remember it, said the col.
onel.
"Of course you don't, because it went
into the parer under the infamous title
of sSmearcase Tomorrow
GA stupid blunder of the compositors,
I suppose"
eyes, sir, and that's what I want to
see you about. The way in which that
poem was mutilated was simply scandal
GUS. I haven't slept night since. 1t
exposed me to derision. People think 1
am an ass. Let tine show you"
SEQ ahead" said the colonel.
"The first line, when wrote it, read
in this way.
Lying by weeping willow, underneath a
gentle slope
That is beautiful, poetic, affecting.
Now how did your vile sheet present it
to the public? There it is Look at
that Made it read this way:
Lying to weeping widow to induce her to
elope.
Weeping widow, mind you A widow 2
This is too muchl It's enough to drive
man crazyl"
"Pm sorry," said the colonel;
"but-"
''But look a-here at the fourth verse, !"
said the poet. "That's worse yet.
What said was'
Cast thy pearls before the swine, and lose
them in the dirt
1 wrote that out clearly and distinctly,
in plain, round hand. Now, what
does your compositor do? Does he
catch the sense of that beautiful senti-
ment? Does it sink into his soul ? No,
sir He sets it up in this fashion.
Listen:
Cart thy pills before the sunrise aud love them
if they hurt
Now, isn't that cold-blooded outrage
on mans feelings? I'll leave it to
you if it isn't?"
"It's hard, that's fact" said the
colonel.
"Aud then take the fifth verse. In
the original manuscript it said, plain as
daylight:
Take away the jingling money; it is only gilt
tering drossH
A man with only one eye, and a catar-
act over that, could have read the words
correctly. But your pirate upstairs
there, do you know what he did2 He
made it read:
take away the jeering monkeys on sorely
glandered hoss
By George, Ifelt like Draining him with
o fire shovel I was never 80 cut up in
my life."
"It was natural, too" said the colo
mel.
"There, for instance, was the sixth
verse. wrote
Il am weary with the tossing of the ocean as
it heaves.'
1t is lovely line, too but imagine my
horror and the anguish Of my family,
when opened your paper and saw the
line transformed into:
q am wearing out my trousers till they're open
at the kneesr
That is a little too much That seems
to me like carrying the thing an inch
or two too far. 1 think have consti-
tutional right to murder that compost
tor; don't your"
81 think you have"
"Let me read you one more verse. |
wrote:
Il swell the flying echoes as they roam among
the hills,
And feel my soul awaken to the ecstasy that
thrills
Now, what do you s'pose your misera-
BILE outcast turned that intoY Why,
into this:
Il smell the frying shoes as they roast along
the bulls,
And peel my sole mistaken in the erctary that
whirls.
Gibberish, sir Awful gibberish | I
must slay that man. Where is he ?"
} "He is out, just now," said the colo
} mel. "Come in tomorrow"
81 will, said the poet; "and I will
: come armed"
z Then he put on his hat, shouldered
4 his umbrella, and drifted off dowr
stairs.