The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1878-05-30
Miscellaneous ltems.:.

HASl 0O1A 1uOxc ti16u nS Ulu DGlOEc. lie HAS
great and influential work in creation.
"Why," said lover to his mistress,
"are you like that hinge?"' Cant even
guess" "Because you are something to
door," (adore).
Question for debating society.--''If a
man has tiger by the tail, which would
be tue best for his personal safely-to
hold on or to let go?'
Photographs and aerophones are all
right in their way, but this world is 80
given to talking that speaking machines
are needed less than anything else.-N.
0. Picayune.
Death-bed repentance is like those sail
ors who throw their valuables overDoard
in storm. They wouldn't do it if they
could help it, and are sorry that they
must:--N. Y. Herald. : &
Here are two pilhy sayings from the
Orient: Disgrace is an ill-omcned bird
no cage can hold" And again: q Mod
esty is sweet song-b,rd no open cage
door can tempt to flight" %
A Minnesota girl has been serving on
railroad as breakman in male attire.
She gave civil answer to the questions
Of u passenger when her sex was at one
suspe pec+ed.--Cincinnati breakfast TABLE,
m; dear. you're as good as gold," re-
marked Spilkins, as his little daug ghter
rushed down stairs to greet him the other
afternoon. "And what's more replied
the youthful Matilda, I'm rapidly COM
ing down to pa
A woman, returning from church ro-
Gently, declared that "when she saw the
shawis on those Smiths, and then thought
of the things her own poor giils had to
wear. ifit wasn't tor the consolation Of
religion, she didn't know what she should
do.'-N. =. Graphic.
When St. Louis girl is very much in
earnest about anything she says she will
''bet her boots' on it. The auditors walk
round her feet, and when they have re-.
turned and rested say that it she has not
wagered her all on the result, she has
betted great share of herself.
Octave Feuilet says: Providence has
SO ordained it that only two women have
true interest in the Happiness of man
his own mother, and the mother of his
children. Besides those two legitimate
kinds Of love, there is nothing between
the two creatures except vain excitement,
painful and idle delusion."
A brutal mother threw her five years.
old boy from bridge into the river at
Milwaukee the other day, and feaned on
the ratings to watch the death struggles,
exclaiming: "1f your father won't sup
port you, drown!' The child's clothing
buoyed him up until the Mortified by
ISLANDERS could rescue him.
II should like to live to draw two
breaths after am acquitted, and then
would die satisfied" said John Smart
of Burnet county. Texas, who had lain in
Jail nearly year on charge Of murder,
and was brought into court on his couch,
sick. At eleven o'clock the verdict mot
guilty." was brought in, and at twelve
the old man died.
Scene at an Irish bank: Lord Squan-
derer-"sOverdrawn, Mr.. O'Hagau? Why,
T cast up the passbook myself, and show
ed over thousand in my favor" Mr.,
O'Hagah-"Ah, me lord, it's triling
mistake yc've made; ye've cast the year
of our Lord into the poun's. Troth. it's
rolling in riches we'd be if We could only
discount Annie pominy."
Mr.. Labouchere declares that he re-
Gently went to church, and that being
there he was edited by an eccentric sex-
hibition Of pronunciation: The we'll
known text. He that hath ears to hear,
let him hear" was. 50, effectually dis
guised by r.tualistic "priest" as to
sound something like, "He that hath
yaws to yaw, let him yaw.''
:, At the foot Of our street stood an Itial-
ian with hand or gan. Ten or twelve
boys gathered around him, more filled
with mirthfulness than courtesy. One,
less noble than the rest, said to his fcl-
lows, See I11l hit his HAITI:
And sure enough he did. Catching
up SNOWFALL, he threw it so violent Y
that the poor mans hat was knocked in
the gutter. A by stander expected to see
some manifestations of anger. The
musician stepped forward and picked up
his hat. He then turned to the rude boy.
bowed gracefully, and said, "And now
III play you tune to make you merry"
Which do you think was the gentle
man OF Christian?--Presbyterian.