davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-05-16

REMOVAL OF THE UTE INDIANs.-Gen.
Sheridan, in accordance width the direc-
ton OF the President, has ordered Gen.
Pope, commanding the Department of
the Missouri, to have the Ute Indians re-
moved from the Colorado to New Mexico.
The Utes number about $4,000 in all,
divided into twelve or fifteen different
bands. Some have strayed ont of Colo
RADIO. Ouray, the "big Injun" of the
nation, has 5000 or 10000 under his i'm
mediate control, and these are in the
southwestern part of the Centennial
State, on the borders of the San Juan
country. There are two other bands on
the White River, west of Middle Park,
while the rest of the nation are without
any permanent loca ion. 1t is believed
that before their removal is consummated
there will be trouble, which NAV blaze
out into open resistance. A reservation
will be set apart for them in Camas VAL
ley, district described as very attractive,
we'll watered, with good grass, and a
stock-raiser's paradise. About 800
Apaches will also be transferred from
Warm Springs, Arizona, 10 Fort Stanton,
\. M.-Er.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-05-16
JOSEPH ceok IN A sAokIsG.cAR.

Talking of bankers recalls the adven-
ture which bank President from q
country town lately met with in journey
ing over the Boston i Providence Rail-
road. He was putting cigar in the
smoking car and Eliminating upon diyi
dends and discounts, oblivions of higher
thoughts, VIXEN burly individual, who
had Just entered ana taken seat in front
of him, turned around and remarked:
'Su, your cigar annoys me-"
"Sorry for that" replied the banker,
emitting graceful cloud.
81 wish you to stop smoking, sir. I
say it offends me-" continued the I'M
knowned one.
Sorry you don't like it, sir, but You
are not compelled to stay in the car if
you don't"
The smoker was beginning to be am
used, the stranger to be excited.
''It is disgusting habit, sir. No gen.
tleman, no Christian, would be guilty Of
it, said the stranger.
'That's question of TASTE" said the
smoker; land tastes differ.
'Do you know who l am, sir?"
"No, sir; and, excuse me for saying, I
don't care
''Sir. my name is Joseph Cook" (Sen-
sation.)
"How do you do, Joseph"
Mr.. Cook to the Conductor-''Con-
ductor put this fellow off the train"
Smoker to Conductor-"Conduc
put this fellow off at some asylum"
Conductor tried explain matters, hint
ing mildly that smoking-cars were SO
called from a popular idea that they were
reserved for smokers; but Mr.. Cook,
scorning such base equivocation, took
down the conductors name and number,
and threatened to crush him with the
whole weight of Boston "arlstocracy and
culture" l tell the tale as twas told to
me, and believe it to be substantially
correct,-the refusal of our Boston Boan-
erges to have his baggage examined ut
st. Adams, the other day, confirming its
probability. Free Press.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-05-16
Happy Thoughts.

Written Years and Years Ago By Eli Perkins.
saw man pulling his arms of try
ing to get on A new pair of boots, so |
said:
Happy Thought-They are too small,
and you will never be able to get them
on till you have worn them a SPELL
l heard an officer in the Seventh
Regiment scolding a private for coming
too late to drill, so l said:
Happy 1hOsght-Somebody must al
ways come last; this fellow ought to be
praised, for, if he had come earlier, he
would have shirked this scolding of
upon somebody else!
/ saw an old maid at the Fifth Ave,
nue., with her face covered with wrink.
les. turning sadly away from the mir.
roT, as she said:
Happy 1hought-Mirrors, nowadays
are very faulty. They don't make
such nice mirrors as they used to when
was young!
heard young lady from Brooklyn
pralslng the sun, SO said
Happy Ihought-The sun may be
very good, but the moon is a good deal
better; for she gives us light in the
night, when we need it, while the sun
only shines in the daytime. when it is
light enough without it.
saw two men shoot an eagle, and as
he dropped on the ground, said:
Happy 1ho,tght-You might have
saved your powder, for the fall alone
would have killed him.
Two Mississippi River darkies saw
for the first time, train of cars They
were in quandary to know what kind
Of monster it was, so one said:
Happy Thoughtful is a dried-ur
steamboat getting back into the river
A poor sick man, with a mustard
plaster on him, said:
Happy Thoughtful 1 should eat a
loaf of bread, I'd be live sandwich!
AS man was burying his wife, he
said to his friend in the graveyard:
Alasl you feel happier than l. Yes,
neighbor, said the friend:
Happy Ihought-I ought to feel hap
pier. have two wives buried there!
A man out West turned States evi.
dence and swore he was member of a
gang of thieves. By and by they found
the roll of actual members, and ac-
cused the man of swearing falsely. 81
was member" said the man, q
Happy Thought-"I was an honorable
members;
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-05-16

A novel discovery has been made in
the library of Lyons, III France. 1t is
a map of the entire system of the CEN
trail plateau of Africa which has been of
late years explored by Grant, Baker,
Livingstone and Stanley. The system
is traced upon globe which was con-
structed in l70i, and contains in detail
the sources of the Nile and Congo. The
map was executed by order of Father
Placide de Saint Amour, principal of
the monastery of the third order of St.
Francis by Crispurien of Toulon, and
by the monks of Bonaventure and
Gregome, both connected with the
above establishment. The report does
not meutiou the names Of the exp!or-
ers. The moderu maps place the source
OF the two rivers slightly to the north
ward Of that Just discovered.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-05-16

A writer in Nature says that by COM
bining the telephone with the kinese-
graph he can produce talking picture
which will move and gesticulate as a
man does when he is earnestly engaged
in speaking. This he proposes to do by
taking instantaneous photographs of
the speaker at intervals of quarter or
half second, and these, after fixing,
are placed one below another on strip
or ribbon of paper wound from one cyl
Under 10 another. AS each picture
passed before the eye it is to be lighted
up by an electric spark, and the man
will thus be presented 10 us as at sue
ceSsive moments, while the recording
photograph speaks the words which the
man uttered. 1t may be years before
producing the form, motion and natu-
raj voice Of the original. Who dare say
now that the time will not come when
whole dramas will be produced ad Hbi-
tum from actual performances, with
such fidelity that they cannot be diStIn-
guished from the originals?
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-05-16
Eli Perkins on the Man who was Buzz.
Sawed.

Uncle George had a controversy with
buzz-saw, the other morning. 1t
seems that my uncle got the worst Of
the argument. He was resting.
Uncle George" said /, Il hear you
were buzz sawed this morning?"
Il was! was buzz. sawed sure!" said
Uncle George, holding up a bunch Of
white rags at the end of his arm.
did it hurt you much?" | continued,
sitting down on the bed.
Two fingers and thumb
You have got them tied up?"
No; have got the place where they
were tied up
Then they are OFF,"
Yes, a good ways off"
"How did it happen?''
Il pushed my hand against the saw
While running a narrow strip through"
did you keep it there very longl"
NO
"Did you take it right away"
Yes
did you take it all away?"
"All but two fingers and thumb"
what did You do with them?'
Il left them on the other side Of the
saw"
did you say anything at the timer"
Il did; but it won't do to publish
''Do you think the buzz-saw was to
blame?n
Chiefly"
How did it feel?"
"A good deal like shaking hands with
q streak of lightning"
did the buzz saw say anything?''
1T said 'Zip!' and then buzzed on. :"
do you think you would put your
hand there if you had it to do over?"
"Hardly.''
Don't you think it would be a good
thing if IA buzZ-saw could be invented
that would saw without moying?"
Undoubtedly
''Do you know anything more about
a buzz-saw that anybody else does?"
"Yes."
"What?n
Don't you ever get within mile of
buzz saw when it is in notion
Why"
Your curiosity might get the better
of your Judgment, and you would be
tempted to experiment until your fin
gers We're all left where mine are.
Good afternoon.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-05-16

The sizing ofpaper is at present chief
~ produced hy means OF mixture of
alum and resin soap-the sodium salts
of the various acids in colophonium.-
The sizing has been supposed to be due
TO the aluminium salts OF these acids;
but an analysis of sized paper by c.
Warster has disclosed the fact that the
sizing IS the eject of the uncombIned
resin in state of suspension in water
where the PARTICLES are so fine that they
pass through filter paper. Successful
sizing depends upon dissolving the colo
phonium III such manner that by di-
luton the resin is not preeipitated in
1ioculent masses. but i'll such manner
rs to form milky liquid. Paper thus
treated must not, OF course. lie printed
with 4 liquid which will dissolve the
resin, but with an ink slightly acid, if
The lest and clearest result is aimed at.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-05-16
ANY farmer that has q small pond Z

Any farmer that has small pond or
stream On his farm, or a never-failine
spring, so situated that by damming up
the gully or hollow below it, a pond can
be formed, may give an acre or two thus
located the most profitable part of his
premises, by stocking the water with fisI.
This can now be done with little expense
through any of the state fish commits
sioners. -Prairte Falnaef.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-05-16
Domestic Recipes.

Chambers Every sleeping room
should have a fireplace, not only for
the purpose of heating it in case Of
sickness. Dui also for the great adyan-
tage thus afforded for ventilating pur-
poses. A chimney fiue is u constant
and natural yentilator.
Loose Sound Teeth-Turkish myrrh
diluted in water-at first a teaspoOnful
TO tulnbler, and gradually strength
ened-Nd used as Il wash four or five
times day, will generally give relief.
There are only two causes for the above
trouble, viz: calomel and soda, and the
use OF both must be stopped entirely.
Hot Water-When water las once
beenmade to boil, the fire may be very
much lessened, as but little heat is re-
quired to keep it at boiling point.
There is no advantage whatever in
making water boil furiously; the heat
will escape in steam, without raising
the heat OF the water.
Floating Island Put a pint Of milk
in a small tin pail, set it In a kettle Of
boiling water and let it scald; take the
whites Of three eggs, beat to stiff
frOth and then drop spoonful at a
time into the milk and let them cook
about five minutes, then skim them out
into 4 deep dish. Take the yolks, add
one egg, sugar, nutmeg, lemon, and a
very little salt, beat and turn into the
milk; let it cook until it is as thick as
cream; then turn into the dish with the
islands, which viii rise to the top.
Peanut Candy-Boil one pint or less
OF good molasses for ten minutes; then
add a heaping tablespoonful of brown
sugar let it boil until it hardens. Stir
the most of the time to prevent burn
ing. Test it by droppinga small guam
tity into glass of cold water. Ii it be-
comes hard and crisp remove it at once
from the fire. Have square tin pie
pan, filed to overlooking with shelled
nuts; be sure to remove the inner red
skin as well as the shell. Pour the
scalding molasses very slowly all over
the nuts.
Cleansing Silver-A druggist gave
me the following directions for cleans
ing silver. | have tried it and like it
better than anything have used yet:
Make Il smooth paste of two teaspoon
fuls of aqua ammonia and one OF whit
ing. Apply to the silver with a damp
sponge, let it dry and then rub off with
channels skin OF flannel cloth. If silver
has laid long without cleaning and has
accumulated spots which seem impos-
sible to remove, wash it in weak solu-
ton Of cyanide of potassium which,
by the way, is poisonous, and your sill
Yer will look nearly new.
Peas Pudding -Soak one'pint of dried
teas in cold water over night; tie them
loosely in clean cloth, and boil them
about two hours in pot liquor or water,
putting them into it cold and bringing
them gradually to a boil; drain them,
pass them through sieve with wood
en- spoon, season them with level ia.
blespoonful of salt, half Il salt spoonful
OF pepper, one ounce of butter and one
egg, tall of which will cost five cents, !
tie in clean cloth, and boil half al
hour longer; then turn it from the clotl
on dish, and serve hot. This receipt
makes a good large pudding for lei
cents.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-05-16

Sir W. Gull, in letter to the Lancet
calls attention to the fact that Mr..
Youatt was four times bitten by dog
decidedly rabid, but applying caustic
freely he felt no after effects. Sir w.
Gnll says that if he had to choose a
treatment for himself he would inhale
ether, and have the whole track of tie
wound destroyed by strong nitric acid
or nitrate of silver.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-05-16
Despite the Skies.
nv z. q. fHELFs.

Let us sit in our ciarkening weather,
Dear heart alone together
For awhile,
And talk il all over bravely.
Nay. lift Inc not up that white, sw ct smile
Wen face what is coming brsyeIy o2 eravsly.
But cannot bear that smile
No. did not say the dying.
But those departing flying
Far away,
Smile so. Come little nearer,
lean better think what had to say.
Ny darling, my darling! stay nearer, De dearerl
We will talk some other day.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-05-16

A WATER VELoCIPEDE.-Wa were
shown this morning a remarkable inven-
ton called the floating velocipede, which
was invented by Mr. William Ascough,
of this city. 1t consists of two pontoons
made of galvanized iron, upon which
the framework is fastened. The boat is
10 it. long by 3ft. 8 in. beam, and the
two pontoons have twenty six watertight
compartments. 1t has seating capacity
of four persons, and over the upper part
is graceful awning. The motive power
is supplied by four levers, two for each
seat, and the occupants, working these
levers, canse the paddles to revolve, if
required, at the rate of sixty revolutions
per minute. The speed of the boat is
about six miles an hour The steering
apparatus is managed by the feet of those
navigating the boat. The paddle-wheels
are 3 #. 2 in. in diameter, and are in the
center, under the seats. We are informed
that there is no splashing, but that the
Floating veIocipede" rides like a duck.
1t draws five inches of water.-Bu3alo
Commercial.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-05-16

A man In Carrollton, Kentucky, hid
one thousand dollars in bed, under
which keg of powder was kept. One
night he went to sleep with a lighted
pipe in his mouth. He escaped by
quick jumping, worse injury than a
severe seorching, but the money van
iShed.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-05-16

A curious relic OF fire worship exists
in Scotland. 1t is called the festival Of
1.-The Clavie,' and takes place each l2th
of January at Burghead, a fishing viii
lage on the Scotch coast. A tar-barrel
is burnt, and as it falls into pieces the
tisher-wives rush in and endeavor to
get lighted bit of firewood. With this
tie fire on the cottage hearth is at once
kindled. 1t is considered lucky to
keep this flame all the rest of the year.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-05-16

\ late report of the Board of Trade
Of Birmingham, England, contains
matter OF special interest to the United
States. 1t says, among other things:
The only shipping markets, indeed,
which continue To exhibit any vitality
are Australia and New Zealand, and of
their orders large and increasing pro-
portion is going 10 the United States.
1t is remarked that, although the trade
OF these colonies is steadily increasing
year by year, the business done win
them 10y manufacturing firms in Bir-
mingham and Sheffield is not now q
tenth part of what it was three years
ago. On the other hand, there is evil
dence that the Australian orders for
American bardwareS have increased in
lbe same period nearly twenty fold,
owing, is alleged, to the superior quail
ity, design, OF tnisi of these goods, and
III no WY to their cheappess:"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-05-16

1t is French philosopher who says
that "the average female dresses for
her lover or her husband; the gil fo-
her rivals; but only the true woman for
herself The same philosopher has
observed that 1.-THE German woman is
covered, the English woman clothed,
and the French woman dressed" The
American woman combines all these
characteristics, except sometimes that
of the German.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-05-16

The young women in the Louisville
High School got up an epidemic Of
fainting lately. The teacher said it was
owing to tight lacing. Let them lace
II they want to; no woman of sense
was ever injured in that way. l.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-05-16
BANk-R UPTED BY KISSES,

Mr.. James V. Whitbeck, living some
where near Albany, N. Y, needs a guar
dian badly. He is rapidly bankrupting
himself by stealing kisses and having
them to pay for. He always inaugurates
the larceny by telling dream of his, all
abont how stray dog got into the cellar
of the lady he is talking to, and how they
both caught him by the tail, and how
the tail, having slipped through their
hands, they both fell down, and how he
jumped up, and, Selling the dog, threw
him out of the window, and how his
cheek turned black where he implanted
the kiss which he claimed as reward
for his heroism; and then he says, with
that languishing, killing look which a
man of IS or 60 alone can assume,
"Pollie Ann. or "Betsie Jane, or what
ever her name happens to be, ''ain't you
gwine to gimme that kiss?" and proceeds
to help HIMSELF. He told a married
woman his dream, and kissed her, and
the Infatuated husband would accept of
no apology or compromise short of SIS in
cash; then he tried it with an unmarried
woman, and her Infatuated father would
cool down for nothing less than $40.
Finding it twice as expensive to kiss I'M
married women as it is to kiss married
ones, he went back to the last-named
sort, and having kissed Mrs. DR.. Jasper
Mead, the chivalrous husband of that
lady backed her up in a suit for dam
ages, and the court awarded her S4OO
The sooner Mr.. Whitbeck quits dreaming
dreams about dogs in cellars, the batter
it will be for his heirs, evidently. -Er.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-05-16
= > '777'7777777-177777 :
THE


THE
MAN!!oN0c PHO!
FOR 1879.
No effort will be spared to
make the Pilot one of the best
local papers in the State. We
are making arrangements for
First Glass Correspondents
in every town in the county.
The readers Of the PILOT will
get the latest and all the local
and county news, and also an
epitome of the latest general
news.
The PILOT will give editorial
comment weekly on the leading
topics of the day.
Its narket reports are cor
rected ono q week with the
gre, test care. This feature
should recommend it to the
farming community.
Owing to it's
Large and Increasing Circulation,
it is not only the best advertis-
ing medium in the county, but
one Of the best in the state. 1t
has a circulation in every town
in the county and among all
classes of people. Business men
should bear those facts in mind
and increase their trade by
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-05-16
Dr.JAMES
Lock Hospital,
Cu-skR
Warrington
q Frank Kiln.

in all their ac"nipnnted forms. Ii is we'll known
that Dr. James has stood al the head of tho profess
for the past 80 years. Age and experience are
all-important. Seminal Weakness night losses by
dreams, pmples on the face lost manhood can pos
ityely be cured Ladies wanting the most delicate
4 book for the million Marriage Guide, which
tells you all about these diseases-who should
Inarry-why MOTTO cents to pay postage. DR.
James has 80 rooms and parlor. You one but
the doctor. Office hours, A. NJ. to p NJ. Sundays,
lM ~ u ALI husinss. siricilY confidential.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-05-30

the Sunday nearest the Doth of May I'M
til the last of September. The build
ing was in an unfinished condition,
having neither shutters hung in the
door nor glass in the windows, and was
upholstered. 1t, therefore, could not
be used during the cool part of the
year."
The school failed to open in May, '36,
and was not again opened until IA,
when it was reorganized by R. G. D.
McKemy and Mrs. Julia Paramore,
since which time it has been in active
operation, except during the winter
following the cholera season of 40
Subsequent to that time it has been UNI
der the Superintendeney of Judge Cur;
ry (for Is years., Robert Pryor, Robert
Miller, A. E. Hubbard, Judge Gilmore,
Rev. Reynolds, and now under J. B.
Munger. These were all present and
made remarks. So far as is known, Dan'l
Walker is the only of all tho SUI
perintendents who is dead. SRI
AT the close o fthe exercises the names
of all present were taken to preserve
with the archives of the school for ref
erence at the centennial. We cannot
but regard it an oversight that those
old scholars now living were not given
notice of the anniversary so they could
have been present.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1878-05-30
THE
MT. Carroll
SEMINARY
Fl HE

Incorporated in 1852, opens its 25th
school year, under the same Principals
September Is, 1877. Location delight-
full and celebrated for its he~a1thfulness.
Easy of access on the, w. II. r. X. the
termini of which are Racine and Rock
Island. A new building just eomplet-
ed doubles the Accommodations. Fur-
nished with modern improvements, rs
furnices ventilated on the most APPROX
ed system; lighted by gas; baths, hot
and cold, ETC., etc.
Four courses-CoLLEGIATE, NORMAL
or TEACHERS Music and PAINTING, in
each of which DIPLOMAS are conferred,
and to those excelling in the last two,
MEDALssare awarded.
COLLEGIATE COURSE is extended and
thorough. ART DEPARTMENT far III adj
vance of similar institutions. Music
department alone employs from five to
seven professors and teachers. Advan<
tages are fully equal to tie best musi-
cal Conservatives, while expenses are
much less. EXECUTION ret.eis es special
attention. PEcUNIaRy aid given to
those needing it and worthy. MANUAL
LABOR given those who would como
mize expenses. LARGE DISCOUNTS CIV
EN- DAUGHTERS OF CLERGYMEN and Mis-
sIoNARIEs. TUITION FnEETo DAUGHTERS
OF SOLDIERS who diedin the s, rvice.
To aid in elevating the standard Of
public schools, TUITION FREE Is given to
one teacher from each county in this
state. Students from this school among
the first to secure the best situations.
Twenty-Five fthose in attendance the
year just closed are now teaching.
Rev. j. A. Smith, d. De- editor Of the
STANDARD, Chicago. says: eve feel
warranted in pronouncing this school,
for all the highest purposes of education
one of the best in or knowledge We
regard it as unsurpassed in the West,
whether as regards the judiciousness
of discipline or the substantial value of
instruction." CDR. Smith attended the
last commencement, and can be refer
red to at the Office of the STANDARD.}
Another says: "This school stands
the peer of any similar institution in
the west.1
Says a report of examination and
commencement exercises of the year
just closed: "The school has never
been fuller, nor has it done itself more
credit than at the close of the present
year." For an DREAD, the school jour-
nal, giving fill particulars, address
Principal, Mt. Carroll Seminary, Car
roll Cn,pfu III 81 AnU q 1n