Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1878-12-01
4 GOOD STEW.

The domestic goat Is the till-sticker's
friend.
R. B. Hayes: "oh, that I were once more
az Ohio man
). Let no administrator throw garbage at his
7oificial brother
The brass bands have brass enough 10 keep
it up all winter.
new paper at Deadwood is called the
UP-GHIch Shorter.
Philadelphia Bulletin: Send along your
big apples On core! On c0re!'
Josh Billings: Truth IL sed to be stranger
tdan fctshun-it is. to most pholks.-
Boston Courier: First bather: What are
all these things feel at the bottom?' Second
bather: 'Torpedoes, mister
my path of duty lay through the custom
house. But | WAS prevented from doiog my
duty"
"How do you arrive at conclusions so
rapidly" we asked OF Jeems, the other day.
Why he replied, usually by train of
thought
44ctG ColmnJiana: "Professor-'Were they
very far apar,, Mr.. j.? Mr. (confusedly)-
No, sir; they were very near apart lGen-
eral smile.
"Where will you put me when come to
gentleman OF a witty girl. I'm brown
study" she replied.
Ha'cteye: at must be very dull in England
just now. There hasn't been a passenger
packet run down by an iron-clad since. ten
| o'clock yesterday morning"
Portland Gazette: 's'hh,' sighed hungry
tramp, 4 wish l was boss. He most always
has a bit in his mouth, while l haven't had a
bit in mine for two days"
Salem Sunbeam: ut is well to have faith
ii everything, but you want to carefully ex-
| anime the inside of a chestnut before you
trust altogether to appearances"
Memphis talks of surrendering her charter
to get rid of her debt; and Paddy Einnigan
spent all his traGe-doliars for whisky, they
were $50 laundering heavy to carry"
"Ioo many cooks spoil the BROTH That
poor cock of Naples who tried to kill King
Humbert got himself into a royal mess. He
thinks be was the one cook too many.
! It is written in the TaEn,ud that 'the
world is saved by the breath of schoolgirl
dren." The writer evidently never sat N
| school next boy who grew fat on garlic.
| Ei7.atic EJs'iq'o "Ihe paraguay hist who
| constructs column day would make an in
valuable assistant T. architects or marble
masons. Sealed esposals are respectfully
invited" -
! The police iorce<.re not allowed to wear
buffalo overcoats. They are required to carry
their biliies, and It is feared thatlf they wore
| buffalo overcoats some one might call them
buffalo billies.
An exchange says: my Grandfather's
| Clock was written nearly ten years ago, and
attracted no attention at the time" No,
| the tiends had the decency to wait It'll the
| old man died"
Utica Observer: "Seth Green has received
p gold medal from France. 1t Is labeled
Paris Green, Poissoneir.' But why they
| spell Paris green poisoner with two SIS
| deponent Seth not"
lay Charlton Could, 10 VIC grow old,
the goat does not impress us as being a very
| desirable animal. Our love for him ceases.
| If you want him at all, you want goat
while you're young"
| Cincinnati Saturday Night: "a sewing
machine agent, who was very i'll, being told
| that he must prepare to pay the debt of ma
! ture, wanted to know if it couldn't be paid
on the monthly insJallment plan"
A bug bites an oyster, and 10! pearl be-
! gins to grow. A bug bites the man who
| lives in boardinghouse. and he forthwith
| consigns his landlady to the same place where
| Kearney sent the bloated bondholders.
Elmira Gazette: IAN Ithaca man has been
! Knocked down and robbed of suit of clothes
which he was carrying under his arm. Any
man ought to be Knocked down who will
| carry his clothes IN that manner during such
weather as this
Gowanda Enterprise: "The first time we
ran for Office we were beaten. 1t was while
VIC were serving as devil, and our employer
found us playing marbles, and caught us be-
fore we reached the Office. We were beaten
pretty badly, too"
New York ErPreSs:: My dear said
loving wife to her husband, as he drank
down his third cup Of coffee. Did you ever
think that coffee is 4 Mocha?' He didn't,
and his wife Will never know why he left the
house in such hurry"
Keokuk Constitution: "'I neverknew a
fashionable woman who didn't think more
| OF TOO! than of an upright, sensible man.
says Talmage. Judgment on brother Tai
mage. What makes so many fashion ab 9
women Think SO much of himP''
If the present mortality keeps up, the
young men VIII soon be compelled to run the
country themselves. The oldest Free Mason,
the oldest married couple, and the man who
voted for Washington have bsen dying this
fall at the rate OF dozen apiece.
New York Express: eve have seen a
good many cheeky men in our time, but the
| fellow who owes three weeks board bill
and asks has landlady TO put blankets on his
bed these cold pights-well, he stands good
chance of being elected to congress-"
Turner's Falls Reqoyter: 'When a man
goes to the street-corners TO tell how religious
| ne Is, and how much he loves his church, go to
| the poor and heavy at heart, and learn there
| how much that man has done secretly for his
fellow-man, before you pass Judgment
Cincinnati Saturday Night: ga police
| man who had offered his hand to a young
woman and been refused, arrested her and
took her to the stationhouse. What is the
charge against this womau?' asked the leu
tenant; Resisting an offer, SIR was the re-
| ply. She was discharged, aud so was the
officer
Burlington Ha,okeye: Brethren, before
| We sing the next verse of John Browns
| body lies all mouldy in the grave, let us take
| a look into the grave and see that it is there.
| In these days of Ohio medical colleges
cemetery isn't no safer than a savings bank,
and it may be that political glee clubs, who
have been singing the song quoted above,
| have been chanting rhythmic lie for the
! past fifteen years.
| Boston Courier: ''This is the way we are
mallgned by the vivacious Partisan who
| draws upon his imagination for his facts:
! One Of those great and comfortable steam
! ships which the Yankees construct descends
| the Mississippi with q vertiginous rapidlty.
| When 10! cry makes itself to be heard "A
man IN the watersn 'Stop!' cries himself
/ the captain. Then turning himself toward
| the purser, he demands: Has he paid his
| idIc! hc HAS pau, replies IDe purSer.
| All arightsr howled (hurIa the captain, and
| the steamboat retakes is course, leaving the
passenger behind. Il the unhappy man had
not pad in advance he might have been
| saved
A new party has sprung up in Connecticut
known as the Hayden party. 1t may prove
| to be rather difficult one to Handel.-Bos-
ton Post. It is Act to be c Mo5artful one to
manage. But keep your Naturalization
| 2. b al, ~
first, but we catch at Strauss. Wouldn't
| Schumann ?-BoSton Transcript. We are
not Aptommas puns in bunch, but, on read
| ing the above, we at once Roze to the re-
| choirnents of the occasion Just Liszti jung
mann, always say Osgood n thing as posi- bic
about your neighbours; they Abt to fetch
! and Cary, aud if you incur their dislike they
| viii keep Papinini a very unpleasant way at
| you. Now don't Shoe FIg off the handel
and 90 10 Warren about it