The Portland daily press., 1878-05-16
The Speakiug PhOnOgrapIl.

L told Mr.. E iison, when wrote to him to
send me one of his speaking monographs, that
wanted it to give an exhibition before lyce.
am, and that 1 would like to have sent with
the instrument any good things in the way Of
music, recitations and so forth, that he had se-
cured for use in the phonograph. He for
warded what appeared to be quite a choice col
lection. 1t came in the shape of dotted strips
of tin-fol, labelled, so that could select any
thing that suited me.
Upon the evening of the entertainment
after explaining the machine to the audience,
picked up one of the strips of foil, and fixing it
on the phonograph, l said
sLadies and gentlemen, Mr.. Edison has
kindly furnished me with a bit Of tin-foil upon
which is recorded part of Washinetons Fare
well Address. Ifyou listen you will hear those
immortal words repeated distinctly" Then L
turned the crank and to my amazement from
the funnel came these words in LOUD, shrill
tone
"Oh, Mary had little lamb, it jumped up to
the sky, and when il lit upon its feet, it said,
How's that for high?'
The audience laughed unfeelingly. "Edi-
SOU" I said, ''has evidently gotten things
mixed somewhat. Labelled the wrong strip,
of course Let US try something else. We
have here few strains OF that tender and pa
thetic melody Home, Sweet Home, a song
which many tearfal wanderer has sung with
saddened and longing heart will now pro-
duce it,"
"Rake her down, Sal! rsng-dang-diddleyl |
Rake her down! Rake her down! Rang dang
diddle!"
1t came from the phonograph with an hilar-
GUS scream, to the intense delight OF the audi
ence, with the exception OF man on the front
bench, who looked indignant, aud said he
knew the thing was a humbug.
81 will write to Edison about his Careless
ness'' I said, warm with embarrassment.
"Such mistakes are simply distressing. fiud
here strip labelled Fragment OF sermon by
Henry Ward Beecher.' This, know, must be
correct. l will give 1t turn.
/ seized the crank and moved it tenderly.
The photograph thereupon exuded the follow
ing observations:
"The-boy-stoo on n-the-burnng deck
Observation-Disclosures Troy;
His-hat-blew-oh-and-bro -his-neck;
Hs-name-was-Pat Malloy- -oooyl'
Several persons giggled. Three respectable
looking men in the back part of the room got
up and went home. The man on the front
bench said now he kneao it was fraud; for Mr.
Beecher never preached any such doctrine as
that
"This is Northumberland unfortunatep, I
said "Edison's carelessness is simply scandal
lous. Among the labels | notice Schubert's q
Serenade. will start it, aud if it goes wrong
l shall STOP"
"Meow-ow-owl Me-s-e-Ow-Owl psf pht-pst-
me-0w-ow-ow-"
Evidently an imitation Of cats" 1 said,
stopping the crank; while the man iu front
look as if he would bursti IL he could not express
his disgust in some violent manner. Suppose
we try "A Life oa the Ocean Wave,'" sug-
gested. edison must have some of them
right. will paste the strip op."
"Ruba-dub-dubl Three men in a tub. The
butcher. the baker, the caddlestick-maker, all
jumped out of "a"
-Four whole families rose.in the middle of the
house and drifted off down the aisle toward the
door, The discontented spectator iu front gave
an hysterical laugh, waved his hand scornfully
and said
Didn't 1 tell you so? Nothing bu. the aw.
fullest bosh!'
Probably we may be more successful with
something OF humorous character" ! said
beginning to wish 1 had Edison in some se-
cluded place where 1 could scalp him. 'I will
now give you part of Artemus Wards comic
lecture on Forts. )"
turned the crank.
stNow, | myself believe that the mind, car
ried up to its intuitional state, is exalted into
higher plane and higher sphere. believe
that the best action of any faculty is that
which is under very high excitement. -
Here L dropped the crank. Some of the
people hissed. A boy in the gallery whistled
on his fingers. The person on the front bench
fairly writhed with disgust. [ heard him say
to the man bshind him that in well governed
countries penitsntaries gaped for such men
asI.
"rhis," said, must bs that missing frsg-
ment Of Mr.. Beecher's sermon, or else the ex-
tract from the farewell address, am not GER
tain which. But let us try once more. Edison
has marked this comic negro song. 1 don't
believe it is; but We will ascertain. One more
trial now. Here goes.'
"A life on the ocean home, wave on the
rolling sweet, where the roaring place! roam
and the palaces bounding deep. ., life on
the pleasures earth and the winds though may
revels keep. o, a.
"I-I think this must be mixture OF the
two songs that l.
"Ob. Immortal Casarl" exclaimed the man
on the front bench, don't give US any more ex-
nIanatory slush. You know mighty well you're
doing that on purpose. You've got an IRISH
man under the stage throwing up his voice, aud
[ expect he's drunk. I'm going home"
Then he stalked down the aisle, and when
he got to the door he turned off the gas. SO
we adjourned the meeting. 1 begin suit for
damages against Edison at the May term of
court-Ma1 Adeler IN ". Y Weekly.