Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1878-02-28
THAT BAD BOY.
The Worst small Boy Ye. Dl.covsrea.
From tho New York Times.

From tho New York Times.
For long time it has been the
! boast of the fret Congregations So
ciety at BirchvilIe, O., that they po-
sessed minister, who, in point Of
lungs and legs, was fully equal and
10 some respects superior to Mr..
Talmadge. There is no doubt tina,
this boast ID to a certain extent jus.
tifiable. While the Rev. Mr.. Sun
bright is admitted inferior to Mr..
Talmadge 10 the management of biz
left leg, and never attempts the elo-
queDt feat of throwing both legs
simultaneously over the front Of the
pulpit, no can pound the desk OF
stamp his right foot with violence
which the Brooklyn athlete has new.
err yet approached. His voice is sim.
ply unequaled in power, and on cain
Sundays, he has more than once
reached tho next village, distan.
nearly three miles from the meeting
house, and created a temporary
alarm of fire. OF course, these grea,
qualities have made him exceeding.
ly popular with the thoughtful mem.
bers OF his congregation, but they
have not secured for him the respect
and admiration Of the small boys
His invariable habit Of rumpling q
small boys hair the wrong way
while pointing out 10 him the gen
eral sinfulness of his ways, is un.
questionably adapted to awaken the
baser passions of fallen Juvenile hu-
man nature. To this objectional
habit he also adds the practice of in
sisting upon an unusual amount OF
chatechism, and . total prohibition
of circus, aud the result is that he
is hated by the small boys OF bis
congregation with great ananimity
and bitterness.
Among the small boys 10 question
is one OF exceptional studious habits
and mechanical ingenuity. When,
one day early in the Winter, this
small boy approached the pastor and
asked for the loan of book that
would fully explain to him the ele-
mentary principles of natural phil.
ospphy, including the mechanical
powers and the strength Of the ma
terials, Mr.. Sunbright rumpling his
hair with real enthusiasm. and re !.
marking that he loved to see a boy
with mind above marbles and cir
cuses, promptly lent him tho desired
book. For somo weeks that ingen-
ious small boy devoted his whole
time TO study and ex ,eriments with
carpenters tools and heavy weights
in the woodshed, and his father and
Mr.. Su.bright congratulated each
other upon the extraordinary good
mess and intelligence of this studious
youth.
1t was on the Saturday afternoon
previous TO the fifth Sunday in jan
nary that the ingenious small boy,
together with several Of his juvenile
companions, gained secret access tc
the congregational meeting house.
The pulpit was an old fashioned of
fair placed upon a high platform
Underneath this pla form was dark
space to which access was gained by
q movable panel ADD in which the
sexton was accustomed TO store d.
lapidated benches and other ecclesi.
astical rubbish. The boys first care
fully cut an opening in the floor of
the pulpit about tour feet square,
and then, en- ering into the lumber
room below, worked for hours in
comp rative silence and with the aid
Of a lantern. The Ingenious student
of the mechanical powars arranged
a weight and lever 10 such d way
as TO support the improvised trap
door in the pulpit floor until pres
sure of $50 pounds should be brought
TO bear upon it. Without the appli-
cation Of this pressure the trap door
would retain it's position, and would
be invisible TO any but the closest
scrutiny. With sleh pressure it
would promptly give way, but would
resume it's position as soon az the
pressure should be removed. The
Rev. Mr.. Sunbright weighed precise
ly lT2 pounds, and it was calculated
by the ingenious juvenile miscreant
AS it will shortly BIO necessary to
call him--that the momentum of
tho average stamp of the pastors
foot would infallibly be equivalent
to an increased pressure of Is pounds
as the result showed, this calculation
was correct, and the arrangement of
the lever and weight was made with
admirable skill
1t was about the middle of the next
Sunday mornings sermon, when the
Rev. Mr.. Sunbright was eloquently
deuouncing the corruption of the
church of Rome, that he executed one
of his ablest and most convincing
stamps and disappeared from view
with startling celebrity. The audience
looked upon his disappearance as a
new rhetorical figure, and were filled
with admiration. One young man,
who had visited New York, whispered
quite audibly that be had seen both
/. De Witt Talmadge and George L.
Fox, and that neither of them had
ever executed SO neat and agile a
trick. The minutes came and went,
but the pastor did not appear. Doubt
less, so the people thought, he was
waiting to give full effect to his elo-
quence; but after time they became
somewhat surprised at the unusual
pause in the services. Presently an
elder arose and said that their below.
ed pastor evidently intended his hear
ers to spend little season in medita-
ton, whereupon everyone meditated
with great assiduity for five minutes
longer. AT the expiration of this time
it was feared that Mr.. Sunbright
might have fallen down in a fit, and
three gentlemen simultaneously went
into the pulpit, and amid general con.
sternation reported that he had totally
vanished. The excitement that en-