The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1878-04-18
The Boy Who Advised.

steps to a house is in league with GER
tain boys who have a Large and as
sorted stock" of meanness born in their
natures. Proof of this can be found
any day in the week in Detroit, and the
latest vas gathered in no later than
Saturday afternoon. A very nice young
man, dressed in the nobbiest style. and
sporting a cane which never cost less
than q dollar, walked up the high front
steps of a Jefferson yer mansion and
pulled the bell. 1t was plain enough
even to the driver of a street car that
the young man had an affection for
some one in that house, and that he was
about to meet his charmer. But, it
wasn't so plain to a s~tub-nosed boy who
was drawing q picture of an Indian
warrior on the flagstones with a piece
of indigo. He looked up, quit his work,
and loafing along to the gate he called
out:
"Them air folks don't want any pat
emit tooth-paste to-dayE'
The nobby young man gave a sudden
start of surprise, but he instantly real
lied the vastness of the gulf separating
him and that street boy, and he did not
reply.
"Our folks don't want any clothes
wringers to-day, and you want to hear
mer' called the boy.
The young man heard him. Several
pedestrians also heard him, and as they
looked up the young man wondered
why no onu answered the bell.
i'm telling you fellow up there"
said the boy, 'that we don't keep no
boarding house here! If you want
cheap board you must 60 around the
corner and three blocks straight on!
Do you propose to pay in advanceP"
AS no one came to the door the
young man pulled the bell again.
Elm telling you that you can't pass
yourself off on us as a grasshopper
sufferer!'' shouted the boy. eff you
want some cold vittles 60 around to the
side gatep
Four pedestrians had haltel on the
other side of the street, and the young
man looked down on the boy and soft
" said:
"Boy, can you catch ten cents?"
"We don't sign no petishuns here
for q national monument to the inven-
tor of the dish-pan!'' replied the boy.
What I'm talking to you is that you
want to 60 around to the cooks doorr'
The young man wished a wish con-
tanning 413 grains fine that the builder
of those high steps had been dead
for forty years, butthe door didn't open,
and the boy hung right to him calling
out:
"Hain't / been telling you that you
can't get in there! You may be the
private Waterman on this block, but
you can't go around pulling front door
bells and putting on airs! If l have
to argy much longer I'll call the po-
lice!'
"Ive got a half a dollar here. boy!'
said the young man, as he turned
around.
"Let's see how it looksr' softly re-
piled the lad.
But the half dollar was at home.
The young man searched for it in vain,
and the disguised boy turned to the
men across the street and called out:
"Isn't it agin the law for a fellow to
be taking a beeswax impression of a
front door lock in the d~aytime?"
They started to come over, and the
young man hurried down the steps and
up the street. He gave the boy just one
look. 1t was a look in which railroad
collisions and steamboat blow-ups were
equally mixed and then frosted with a
Bogardus- kicker.
"Oh! ye kin wink at me and try to
buy me OFF, growlcd the boy, s.but
these principles of honesty were paint
ed all over me when l was q baby, and
they can't be rubbed put nor bought up
for wealth.
Just then q young lady threw open
the door and smiled and bowed and got
as far as: Why, Fwedr' when she dis
covered he wasn't there. The foot
man was out and she had waited to elk
up" and "Fwed'' had gone. She
backed in and shut the door, and the
mean boy got down to finish his Indian,
muttering:
IF ne couldn't raise fifty cents to re-
ward me, how'd he ever manage to git
that gal one o. them corsets with a hum
dred and ninety bones in itr'-Detroit
Free Press.