Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1878-08-30
Humorous.


Of man.
The path of duty Through the Gus
tom-house.
When is watch like i cork? When
it's stopper.
Another minister has fallen He
stepped on ~ orange peel.
The most magnificent Of horse-cars
j. King Oscar Of Stockholm.
Dion Boueicault says" Never make
love to q woman through an ink-bottle"
Father: Why don't you say grace,
Charley? Charley Why, COS don't
like the looks o them taters.
What sort Of dough will make back
axe 2-Hackensack Republican. A lorna
dough Mem Hapas Register.
The worst thing about mosquito il
its long soliloquy as to whore and when
il had better settle down and bite -New
Hngea Register
An exchange says We never saw Il
man who thought il sin to steal an
umbrella" Tsen you never saw u man
whose umbrella had just boer stolen.
A man attempted suicide, first writ
ing To the effect that he was i blasted
oak. He survived, and the impression
has been revived that he is blasted
nuisance.
A Sunday-school boy of MaysyiIle
Ky, was asked by the superintendent
if his father was Christian. Yes
sir Inc replied, but lie is not working
at il much"
In Berricn Co, Ga, recently, Mr.. JAS.
A. Nigh was married to Miss Mollie H.
Nigh. This il coming mighty close to
the scriptural Injunction Nigh for u
Nigh!
A woman may not be able to sharp
en- II pencil or throw stones ut Il hen
but she can pack more articles into Il
trunk than man can IN one-horse
wagon.
1t is said that Edison lsabout to throw
en- the market Il new corkscrew crimp-
or that will twist the hair Of trusting
woman forty different directions ut the
same time.
A woman may not be far-sighted i'll
business matters, but she can sec Il fly
speck without glasses us far again us II
man can smell fried onions Cincinnati
Breakfast Table.
There is more unadulterated Joy over
the capture Of one solitary mosquito
OH the inside Of tho netting than III
crcumvcnting the million and ninety
nine on the outside. Breakfast Table.
A subscriber wrote to il journal to
make some inquiries about the next
world j fair, whGreupon the wicked edi-
tor replied that lie was under the inn
preston that the next world wouldn't
have amy fair.
When young man has learned to
consume cigarettes III IN artistic man
ncr by ejecting the smoke through his
nostrils, life is no longer u barren IDEAL
ity, hut rs real rs bar Of SOAP
BreakfuI Table.
Shopman eff you will step into the
next room shall b. able to show you
some wonderful old jars recently dug
up ut Pompcii," Lady. What! that
horrid old Italian town? Why, couldn't
bear anything that came from the place:
it is so fearfully out Of repair.
Mary had little lamp
Twas tllod with Kerosene
She blew right down the chimney
And vanished from the scene,
ErchaHgc.
A POSER Seven ycar-old Il" Grand
ma, Mother Shipton says the world will
come to an end i'll 1881 Is that true?'
Grandma" No, dear, for i'll the Bible
We are told, OF that day and hour
knoweth no man, etc" Seven-year-
old-"Ah, but Mother Shipton was 4
woman. p-Judy
TIE SECRET or SUCCESS. Mentor: Re
member Richelieu's words, sir, Lin the
bright lexicon Of youth there's no such
word rs fail. Incorrigihle Amt
there2 Well, it's jolly lucky the words
i'll the bright lexicon Of middle life,
then three failures have made me-
Funny Folks.
Scene III horse car; Seats all oceu-
pied. Enters Il person dressed rs 4 la
dy. Bright little boy rises and offers
his seat Lady drops into it, with m
mir Of slight disdain. Boy: "Oh, beg
your pardon; did you speak," Lady:
No; | didn't say anything Boy:
"Oh, excuse me; | thought you said
thank YOU Lady, in high dudgcon;
" You may have your seat" Boy. ire
Stunning it): Well, Ill thank vou.'
Passengers eonvulsed and lady disap-
pears.
Awestcrn member Of congress lounged
into the bar.room Of fashionable up
town hotel one morning recently to get
his matutinal invigorator. When the
necessary utensils were placed before
him, the Hoosior statesman delihor-
ately filled the glass to the brim with
whisky. Goodness gracious eSclaim-