Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1878-08-28
Hlll,lOr.

HumOr.
Can stored urn or anima ted bust
exceed in eloquence the words, "No
Trust Y'-Erchdn9e.
What is it? The cause of death in
report recently returned to the city reg
istrar, Is stated to be chopin Golf"
What is it,
! something to wear means this wear
TAT Saratoga) three new dresses a day
with hat to match, and nineteen costly
parasols.
Raking side combs are coming into
fashion with women, both old and
young. Then no longer rest on this
bosom, my own stricken dearr
The compositor who made it read,
In the midst Of life we are in debt"
wasn't so much out of the way.-Gn-
cinndti Breakfast Table.
The San Francisco Post tells a story
of a shark chasing lawyer Those
California papers most always blunder
that way. Lawyers will, Of course. un-
derstand how it was.-New Haoen
Register.
Does the cassowary belong to the FAM
lily mammalla Genius. In cassowary
future need of information of that sort
you mammalia inquiries to the HdpkYe
many nkers Gazette.
Correspondents say that many of the
summer resorts are short of men this
season. Would'st know the wherefore?
The men are short" themselves
Norristo,cn Herald.
Seth Green says fish have no sense of
hearing and are not alarmed bv noises.
We wish he would explain then how it
IS that when n 10-year old boy falls
from the bridge into the creek, he
spoils the fishing in that vicinity for the
rest of the day.-Bwlington Hdvkee.
"Talking about the jaws of DEATH
exclaimed Fifth-ward man, whom one
of our reporters interviewed the other
day, who is living with his third sceld-
ing wife, " tell you they are nothing
to the jaws of lheH'-Swdcus Journal.
Tourist (who wishes to make a
diversion from the track: How far is
it from here to Ballnagar?' lrishman:
"Sure, by the Peat Moore, it's niver n
step less than four miles there and
about six and half miles back"
Fun.
A little five-yea old daughter of one
Of our prominent business men in Of
fering up her evening prayer recently,
uttered the following: "God bless
mamma, bless papa, and make him
buy me n dog-a great big one that'll
help me whip the devil out of all of
everybody"
The Port Chester Jom,,a! thinks that
a yellow-cutionist is PROF. that sound
has color" And then such man
sometimes violates the rules Of good
reading too.-Phiiadephia Bull Have
done with this foolishness, and to settle
the question once for all, tread on
dogs tail and hear how the pupil yell.
Boston Traveller.
Little Blivens, who lost his grandma
n short time ago and who, in his childish
simplicity, believed that she had gone
away on visit, repeatedly asked his
parents why they didn't hear from her
and why they didn't write to her. AT
last they showed him conclusively
wherein death consists, which kept him
quiet until the death of n neighbor,
United States mailcarrier, by the name
of Collins, whereupon young Blivens
triumphantlv ran to his mother shout
ing, Ma! ma! you can write to grand
ma now, and send the letter by Mr..
Collins, can't |-Cleeiand Plain
Dealer.
He was a young man Of scientific
turn of mind, and it was his first out
with new girl. lie remarked rs he
cast his eyes heavenward and referred
to the glory of the skies: "Such stu
pendous wonders are entirely incom-
prehensible; one becomes wrapt in
feelings of admiration, coupled with
awe, giving one spiritual elevation, II
transmogriiication of earthly DESIRES"
cit mnst be the fumes from the fur
naces," broke in the young lady, "they
often affect me in the same way. Pills
are good for the complaint" She was
all sympathy the remainder of the
walk, while he relapsed into gloomy
silence and bid her good night at the
gate without an attempt to renew the
conversation. Eureka Men, Leader:
Birth poetry is the latest inniction
born to suffering people. Now look
out for jingle after the following pat
tern
A thumpiny boy to - 10 born
just ten pounds and quarter
lie has his daGdy's Rum 'nn nose,
And squalls just az he onght-er.
Commercial 1drertiser.
There Is no picnic ant, however lovly,
That for livelihood must toll and beg,
But lifts the largest man up, grandly, slowly,
When 1t goes browsing up his trousers leg
There Is no little bee. however humble,
That gathers summers sweets for winterss
store
4. l. IA; nil m