The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-06-27
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

The Committee adjourned until the 18TH. 4
SENSE AND NONSENSE.
The law is what the Judges decided it
to be.
Col. 1NGERsoLL calls the grave "the
windowless palace of rest"
AMERICANS are great deal like po-
tato-bugs. They will go to Paris green.
News.
MANKIND worships success, but
thinks too little of the means by which
it is attained.-Henry M. Field.
A WEAK mind is like microscope,
which magnifies trifling things, but
cannot receive great Chesterfield.
The Graphic believes the umbrella
was invented during David's reign. 1t
was successfully used as parry-Saul.
WHY ought poultry-keeping to be a
most profitable business? Because for
every grain you give fowl it gives
peck.
INSANITY is no cause for divorce in
Wisconsin. They think a person must
be crazy in the first place to marry
Chicago Tribune.
THE Emptess of Austria wears atrain
thirty feet long, anu when she walks up
stairs, the disheartened Emperor goes
up in the misunderstanding.
1T is said that if you thrash potato
vines with gold-headed cane the bugs
will make haste for other scenes. A
potato bug can't 60 style nohow.-E1-
change.
SOME men have tried the plan of dy-
ing without will and leaving their
property to natural heirs; but this only
makes it more difficult for the lawyers
to get their share.
THERE is a brilliant future in store
for the boy who, when he sees ton of
coal coming to his house, rushes to his
mother, asks for the peppermint, rolls
on the floor and groans, and sayshe has
the cramp.
OF a person who was a sordid miser,
it was told Mr.. Curran that he had set
out from Cork to Dublin with one shirt
and a guinea. EYES," said Curran,
" and will answer for it that he will
change neither of them until he re-
turns"
JOSEPH Cook renders the old saw,
"Sauce for goose, sauce for gander,"
as follows: "Those culinary adorn-
ments which suffice for the anserine
female are adequate to meet the wants
of the masculine adult of the same spe-
cies." IN Y. Graphic.
SINCE it has been discovered that the
Sc k00 nm ,,,S1nc tho l.,
than it was formerly thought to be,
there is an impression abroad that the
weather is growing warmer. This feel
ing comes by the aid of science.-M. O.
Ptcayune.
81 SUPPOSE you have been to your
lodge?' she scornfully inquired when
she opened the door upon him suddenly
at midnight. mo, no, my dear, y
Blinks replied, with gushing candor,
"you see I stopped at strawb'ry
fes'v'l on my way home-an' the ber-
ries soured onmystomach.''
SAYS the Burlington Hawkeye: " "A
newly-imported Hungarian, employed
on a farm a few miles north of the city,
tilted up beehive the other day to
see what the bees were doing under
there. He knows now He says they
were making chain lightning and had
1900 tons of it on hand, which explod-
ed before he had time to let the box
down."
THE Woman's Hotel in New York
"busted up because no men were al
lowed thereat. The women could no:
endure the absence of all that makes
life bright and happy. And SO their
splendid hotel had to be shut up. Too
bad; too bad. We are such fascinating
fellows, but we can't help it. dog-gone
our handsome pictures, can we?-Bur-
lington Ha'0k-Eye.
EXTRAVAGANZA is the cause OF
hard times" said Nevada capitalist.
1--WE must be more economical. Ten
years ago I commenced working in a
mill in Gold Hill at small salary, and
in less than a year owned the mill
and had some money in bank" ''You
are right" returned listener with
great earnestness. ''It is possible for
man to lay up $4,000 or $4,000 a
month on a salary of SIS a day; but he
must be very economical and have the
handling Of the amalgam."
Mr.. AND Mrs. SQUIBBLEs and the
visitor were sitting in the parlor, and
the olive branch was sleeping sweetly
in an inner room, from which the door
opened into the parlor. "Yes ma am -
| said Squibbles, s'there is some
I thing about babies that appeals to the
finer feelings of our nature; an un-
definable presence which softens as
and makes our hearts go out toward
them; subtle influence which recalls
for heavens sake, Maria, go in there
and strangle that brat, or do some
thing to make it shut up, so that man
can hear himself talk in his own house. -
Austin (Nev.) Reveille.
Mr.. d. H. WILLARD says that in the
year 1888, on his east farm, half mile
south of Ncwington Junction, he came
across large and beautifully-mottled
box or hinge tortoise, so-called from
its power to close its upper and under
shells firmly together. Turning it up
side down he, with his pocket knife, in.
scribed on it his own initials and the
date, letting it then go free. In 1861
he found the same turtle again. half 8
xllkG W0SUS ~ Hal CIOSSCu LWV OIlUSCS
or forded the streams, and three rail.
road tracks. A new date was Their
added, the first inscription being very
distinct. MIR. Willardhad not seen him
until last Saturday, the 18th inst, when
he discovered it again ON his west farm
and near the New Britain town line
about one and one-half miles from the
first point named, looking as hale a
ever, but not increased in size percept
IDLY. 1t was duly marked 1885," and
sent on its way.--HartforI C0tsrant.
"A man in New Orleans has invent
ed a process of manufacturing mirrors
which, it is claimed, is destined TO take
the place Of the quicksilver process. Ii
only ten or fifteen minutes the sub
stance used in place Of the quicksilver
is made to adhere to the glass, and thu
cost Of the substance is not more thar
one-tcnth that Of, quicksilver. Anyone
can convert an ordinary piece Of glass
into a mirror after acQuainting himself