Connecticut western news., 1878-09-26
WIT AND WISDOM.

 ifa The best time on record-Lunch time. -E, .a ,G'..g s4.r .s. lal It's mighty ignorant horse that doesn't know his own fodder. a. af. The handsomest compliment you can pay to woman of sense Is to ad- dress her as such. s. -... .. ' "A capitalist who makes habit of loaning his funds without security must be very "soft" money man.
 ,. And Ananias stood forth. This is said to have been so that some modern liars could stand first, second and third.
 It requires great deal of boldness and great deal of caution to make great fortune, and when you have got 1t, 1t requires ten times as much wit to keep it. . ....,..... ..-
 Thomas Jefferson, in making up that list of grievances against Great Britain, left out the weightiest one of the whole lot. The her SC fly came from England e,. -.-a l
 A country exchange in blowing it's own excellencies says the household and kitchen are not forgot" Oh no, of course not, you recollect them three times day. ,.. tg....u.
 - The Schoolmaster -" My dear Charles, you make no progress in your reading. When was your age I read fuently." Charles" Then you had better master than I have"
 "A Boston young man married against the wishes of his parents, and in telling friend how to break the news to them, said Tell them first that I'm dead, and gently work up to the climax"
 The mind is nourished at cheap rate. Neither cold, nor heat, nor age itself can interrupt this exercise. Give, therefore, all you can to a possession which ameliorates even in it's old age.
 They were expressing surprise ut the success of politician who had been everything. "Oh, no wonder he gets rich" said wise observer he has sold every one that bought him and saved the money" s.
 Whatever comes out of despair CdunOS U6dI bDS OlOlO ,OA NSsAOA1 should be lifted up to such height that, holding all things under itself, 1t should be able to maintain its greatness even in the midst of miseries.
 Have you known how to compose your manners You have done great deal more than he who has composed books. Have you known how to take reposep You have done more than he who has taken cities and empires. -" Fellow citizens, stand on the ground of liberty" said an impassioned orator at public meeting. "No you don't" shouted his shoemaker, who was among the audience, Yop are standing on the soles of the boots you have not paid me for" .. ....- The wife of 8 minister residing near Pawlet found him feeding chickens with dough in the dining-room. She "shooed' the chickens out, her husband boxed her ears, she complained to the church and it compelled him to resign-put him out on fowl, as it were.
 A means has at last been invented to make money go long way. It is simply the 100 ton gun, which will fire five pounds worth of iron six miles and a half in fifty seconds. If that is not making money go q long way perhaps some one will say what it is.
 It is wonderful the difference there is in the application of certain medicines. Put mustard plaster on the outside ot a man and he will paw around and swear it will burn him up, but put 1t on ham-sandwich and he will put it inside l of him without murmur.
 It is lamentable fact says the Breakfast Table, that piece of paste board :ith verse on it, given as reward of merit in Sabbath school, haF not half the charm for boy as the sam size piece of pasteboard with the simple talismanic words, "Admit one." l When woman combs her back hair with two ropes, holds one in her mouth until she winds the other upon her, tuck comb, and then finds that she l has lost her last hair pin, she feels that the sex needs two mouths-one to hold her hair in, and the other to make re- marks with.