The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1878-12-26
a$kmPERaNCE LECruRF.

.
Il Ny friends, there is another rock
] wish all to guard against. It is hid
den by the still summer sea, but upon
It many . human bark has split. re-
fer to the mince pie. Yes. my hearers
the mince pie is . rock that has brought
thopsands to wstery graves-or, not to
wafery graves exactly, but, You know
what / mean. The mince.pie is the
cprse Of our land. 1t is alluring our
youth from the path of virtue and So
briefly, and leading them down to ruin
Itibegets an appetite for strong drink
that.sweeps everything before it. Look
not upon the accursed thing. Shun it
~ ye9 voulda viper. Sit ON it; tram
pleif ttdS{ YOUR feet, as it were. !
onee knewa brilliant young mar. loved
and courted by all who knew him.
His fs9the' story Of thousands. This
young man used to visit. his aunt in
the fall, that fatal time when the mlnce
pie stalks mp and down through the
earth seeking where it may devour
somebody: This young mans aunt
cepld make q mince pie till yon
eouldn't rest, and her art lured him to
destruction. That insatiate monster.
At first he ate lightly of the damning
food, then, as his appetite grew by
what it fed upon. he ate deeper and
deeper, until after every meal he sank
into heavy sleep only to awake with
. head on him bigger than Daniel
Webster's. He would chew cloves
and cardamon seeds for hours, and yet
you could smell his breath across the
biggest county in the State, He saw
that he was becoming slave to the
accursed pie. His affianced. bride, who
to himwas the one fair woman beneath
the sun, said she would never marry
q man that smelled like distillery
that employed 800 hands and was in
full blast all the time, and unless he
reformed she would be nothing to him
but sister. The young man had all
sisters he wanted, and, falling at her
feet, he registered a solemn oath. and
had it copyrighted next day, that
mincc pie should never pass his lips
again aslong as he lived. But alas p!
hewas already slave to strong pie,
and in less than twenty-four hours he
tore himself away from his sweetheart
who made frantic grab at his coat
tails, and fed to his aunt's in the city
and said he hoped she would have
some of her excellent mince-pies for
dinner. The good aunt. ignorant of
the fact that she was putting an enemy
in his mouth to steal away his brains,
set 'em up, so to speak, and in less
than two hours the young man was
rip-roaring, staving blind drunk, as
ssnaLl All, my friends, the story is a
ghastly one, and needs NO embellish-
ment. While in this condition the
young man, the pride of his parents,
and the hope of q wOman's heart, was
arrested for drunkenness and disor-
.derly conduct. On the way to the
Mayors Office he shot the officer dead
in his tracks, blew out his own brains
with another barrel of the pistol, and
then went back and killed his aunt and
gdog that she paid So for. My friends
and fellow sufferers, from the mince
pie to the tomb is but step. II mince
pies must be made, 1 demand. in the
name OF the youth of our country, that
the people who manufacture them be
compelled to take out a Iicence. II
they must be eaten, 1 beg of you, as
you valas .yoafi sopl's salvation, do not
estthem straight. IA serpent turks in
every one of them. Ten thousand
devils lie beneath every crust, be it
baked eyer so nicely, Every currant
hides . demon with q forked tongue of
flame and seven pronged pitchfork:
The suet, the citfon and the chopped
meat are the broth of hell, and the
whole business from stem to.stern is
q mockery, and strong drink is raging.
In conclusion, my beloved hearers.
touch not, taste not, handle not, enter
NOT into temptation i'm other words
look not upon the mince pie when it
is red, when it giveth it's color in the
cppboard.-[Ol City Derrick.