The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1878-04-03
Bric-a-Brac DiscOurseth thereon
and IlIustrateth by Incl
dent and Invention.

there is safety: the multitude OF
newspapers there is wadding ~ But
who is TO come the King Canute
over this array of brains, candi-
dates, and dioramic advertisement ;
and say, thus far shalt thou go?'
[ have no fear they will come thith-
erward; old Sammie Lane and Clinch
mountain is an eternal barrier, But
/ can not rest idle when my country
is III danger.
In one journal We have "Fitz'' and
simmons" /: that is, they give you
fits, first, and when you are ''loosen-
ed up" follows the puckering pro-
cess. Then suppose a power Of at
torney between editor and publisher.
is it Simmons per Fltzsimmons,"
or Fitzsimmons per-sinmons" !?
Somebody is playing possaena, and tis
idle to say non possunus."
/ Then We have the Herald and
Tribune which means. we proclaim
and Judge. Now we. Geo. w. Bric-
a.Bac, do protest this to be the cart
before the horse; for one to judge
first and then proclaim. Take board
ing house hash. canned oysters. a
middle aged mule, anything untried
how can aught but clairvoyance
anticipate. Beecher says there is
no hell. What does he know about
it? Suppose he has got mp one of
his own: tbs a small affair, not near
equal to the original. I go TO an
apple barrel; say / have found a
choice apple: l like that apple
find therein a worm, one of those
nice, fat white fellows with a brown
head. What are my emotions? Are
they not conflicting; especially if
the poor fellow has sustained inju-
ry? could multiply cases, but that
would require another newspaper.
Then we have the cambridge
WatchnaR. Now. in the name of
genealogy, family records and mus
ter rolls, who is the editor of this
journal? 1 pause for a reply. (By
the way. Mr.. Helms, will you join
me. Well-aYook-2 J.
to proceed-wait till l wipe my glas-
ses.) / am well aware this gives va
riety to the paper. for no teUo num-
berS are alike but still one likes to
know who is the motor of this pa
per, or any other journal. One hates
to 60 to friends room and when
he calls out, Jones. are you about?
you hear some one answer, he's
out T. You ask, "who's that?" and
and the same voice replies, "It's
me !" You go off mentally eiaculat-
ing. "whO the blank is me"
Now the GAZETTE one can locate.
and when its ship of democracy gets
too mach Off the wiud, we can yell out,
(" Helms alec p But there is one
thing it shares in common with the |
Mouatdineer, the FL. and T. and the
WdtclnaaR. refer to the |
great variety. space and picturesque
ness of its advertisement pages and |
True, it has not the " fork
and spoon" picture the sweet bird |
heading Ayers Hair Yigor; but then
it has pictures Of stoves, pictures OF |
turbine wheels, and a veTy comfort
ing group Of toarebstones ! For all |
which accept thanks!
Yet this influx of journalism re-
minds your correspondent of two
anecdotes; I" the fireworks one" and
an A1sopian fable.
Marryat tells the first: He and a
crowd of brother REFERS got leave to
go to Bartlemy Fair. One of the en-
presented was q pros
pective display of fireworks. NJ. and
his compatriots thought that If the
pyroteenics were grand separate,
he ratio would increase with combi-
nation. Splitting their rattan canes
At one end for tue insertion of their
lighted cigars. at signal the
= mids" touched off simultaneously
5he entire affair. For while the
hing was rather interesting.
Now for the fable: There was once
an old man. his grandson and a don
Key. travelling, The latter was no
relation by blood or marriage. The
bid man rode " BaIaam's right bow
sr,'' and the youth walked by his
side. Appear critic No. =" Why |
lon't you let that child ride?' They
,hange places. Along came No. 2:
!. You nngratefnl yonng scamp do
vou make that old mau walk r. They
both bestrode asinus. No. 5 ex-
claims: "Have you no mercy on that
poor brute?' Old age and young
blood took it a-foet. Along comes
No. A.: "What a pair Of fools
donkey TO ride and both walking"
Slowly butsadly they picked up the
donkey and carried it between them.
Twas new thing, and the oddity