Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1878-10-04
THE PARSONS HORSE RACE.

in front of an equally discouraged
looking horse, that had Just been
brought To him by the widow Simpkins
for medical treatment. Among Sans
many accomplishments he was reckon
ed in the neighborhood an oracle in
all matters of this kind, especially by
women, whose helplessness in meeting
such emergencies found unfailing
solace under his compassionate willing
ness TO attend TO any business that did
not strictly belong to him, and from
which no pecuniary return was to be
expected
The widow Simpkins had bought this
horse of Deacon Atkins, apparently II
fairly well-appointed brute, and capable
as he was good-looking. A short, easy
drive when the deacon held the reins
had shown off his points to advantage.
and the widows small stock of ready
savings had come forth freely in paw
ment for what she thought was q bar
gain. When, soon after coming into
possession, she discovered that her
horse, if driven with any haste, pant
ed in fearful manner, and that he
appeared to be growing lame, she
waXed wroth, and went to the deacon
in anger, to be met only with the smooth
reminder that the animal was all right
when she took him, that she had seen
him tried herself. The widow was of
nature somewhat spicy, and expressed
herself warmly: Its cheat and u
shame, and I'll take the law on ye."
"What law will you takeP" said the
unmoved deacon. Wasn't it a fair
bargainP"
I'm take the law of God" said the
widow, with impotent Indignation, and
she departed to pour her cares and
trials into the ever ready ear of Sam.
Having assumed the care of the animal.
he now sat contemplating it in sort
of trance of melancholy reflection.
Why, boys" he broke out, "why
didn't she come to me aforc she bought
this crittur! Why, knew all about
him! That ere crittur was Just ruined
year ago last summer, when Tom, the
deacon's boy there, come home from
college. Tom driv him over to Sher-
burn and back that ere hot Fourth of
July. Member it, cause | saw the
crittur when he come home; | sot up
with Tom takin' care of him all night;
that ere crittur had the thumps all
night. and he hain't never been good
for nothin' since. | telled the deacon
he was gone hoss then, and wouldn't
never be good for nothin'. The deacon
he took off his shoes and let him run to
pastur' all summer, and he's been
a-feedin' and nussin' on him up: and
now he's put him off on the widder. /
wouldn't a thought it o. the deacon.
Why, this hoss'll never be no GOOD 10
her; that 'ere's u used-up crittur, anv
fool may see! He'll mabbe do for abont
a quarter of an hour on smooth road
but come to drive him as BODY wants
to drive, why, he blows like nv he'll
lowsis; and the deacon knew it.must
"a known itr'
why, SAM" we exclaimed, "ain't
the deacon a good manp''
"Wal now, there's where the shoe
pinches! In II gin'al way the deacon is
Il good man-he's consid' able more
than middlin good gin ally he adorns
MS per1ession. On most p'ints | don't
hev nothin' agin the deacon, and this
ere ain t Il bit like him-but there It's! !!
Come to hosses, there's where the
unsanctitied natur' comes out! Folks
will cheat about hosses when they
won about most nothin' else" And
Sam leaned back on his cold forge now
empty of coal, and seemed to deliver
himself to a mOurnful train of general
reflection. Eyes, hosses does Seem tn
be sort o. unregenerate critturs,n he
broke out, "there's suthin' about hosses
that deceives the very elect; the best o.
folks gets tripped up when they come
TO deal in bosses."
"Why, Sam, is there anything bad in
horsesP' we interjected, timidly.
"'Tain't the hosses, bows" said
Sam, with solemnity. "Lordy massv.
the hosses is all right enough,-hosses
is scriptural animals. Elijah went mn
to heaven in a chari't with hosses; and
then all them lots o. hosses in the Raw
elatlons, black and white and red and
all sorts o. colors! That ere shows
hosses goes to heaven; but it's more'n
the folks that hev them is likely to, eff
they don't look out.
ministers, now" continued Sam. in
a asoliloquizing vein; "folks alters thinks
it's suthin' sort o shaky i'm a minister
10 hey much to do with hosses.
TO get en- into trouble. There was old
Parson Williams, of North Billrikv.
got into drefful muss about boss'
Lordy massy, he warn't to blame.
neither, but he got into the dreffulest
scrape you ever heard on-come nigh
TO unsettlin' him."
'Oh, Sam, tell us all about it.n we
boys shouted, delighted with the pros
pect of story.
ssWal wait novp tiIJ I go. =, ~ a. : -.
tur's shoes, and Wen take him up TO
pastur' and then we can kind o. sit by
the river and fish. Hepsy wanted a
mess o. fish for supper, and | was cali
latin to git some for her. You bows
60 and be digging bait and git yer
lines"
And so as we were sitting TRANQUILITY
beside the Charles river, watching our
lines, Sans narrative began:
"Ye see, boys, Parson Williams
he's dead now,-but when was boy
he was one of the gret men round here.
He writ books. He writ tract agin
the Armenians, and put 'em down. and
he writ big book ON the millennium
QYe got that ere book now); and he
was smart preacher; folks said he had
invitations 10 settle in Boston, and
there amt no doubt he might 'a'hed a
Boston parish ef he'd a. ben mind ter
take il, but he'd got a good settlement
and handsome farm in North Billriky.
and didn't care TO move; thought, |
s'pose, that I was better 10 be number
one in little place than number two
In big UNI any way, he carried all be-
fore him where he was.
"ParsonWilliams was tall, straight,
personable man, come of good family
father and grand d'ther before him all
ministers; he was putty up and down
and commandin' in his ways, and
things had 10 go pretty much as he
said. He was a good deal sot by, Par
son Williams was, and his wife was a
Derby, one o. them rich Salem Derbys,
and brought him a lot o. money, and
50 they lived putty easy and comfort
able 80 fur a. this worlds goods goes.