Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1878-10-04
Hu,nor of tho Press.
TX +" So and costs. ;

/ Fnc talk =" $s5 and costs"
Whcn'isa y lawyer strongcstg When
\ he is fechlest
II is bcauty's privilege to kill time.
and times privilege 70 kill beauty,
! Thepoorest farmer in the land II III.
able TO feed his calves can always Craze
his shins.
Tho world without woman would be n
perfect blank, like sheet Of paper
not even ruled
j Soliloquv 10y n tippler--Tho public
always notice when you have been
drinking, but never when YOU are
thirsty.
! Tho man who is not afraid Of war or
yellow fever is generally afraid 10 take
out paper of tobacco in " crowd. -
IMcS.
A camper-out who went for his health
says he is heartily glad to get home so
that he can recruit for another season
of hoalthtnl pleasure next year.
Science ,says that il took millions of
Years to evolve man itom tho oyster;
observation shows that it takes less
than minute 70 transfer the oyster IL
! tho man.
Hip-pockcts are comparatively mo-
dcrn invention, Indianapolis NcuS.
Wrong again. llip,pookois we're in
vented by llippocratos LouiS9Rc Cbu-
jc,-Jotandi.
This from the Philadelphia ChVaich:
~ feels decidedly like fall. said mn old
citizen yesterday as his foot struck il
watermolon-rind and his head struck
tho bricks.
The grand and awful difference be-
tween tree and bore is--hurrah,
now l. the tree leaves in spring, and the
bore, why, he never leaves. Smuca%
Sunday Times,
Rattlobonc's mouth il distigurcd by
the absence of one of his front teeth.
Ills little daughtorsurprisod hum ycstcr.
day hy asking, "pop, why do YOU pnrt
your teeth in themiddleY
An intelligent aud sensitive journal
! imparts this tit Of dcicntc and useful
information To its ll000,000 readers:
1T is not polite 10 bite corn from the
cob N the presence of people who have
false teeth.
lolng man, said minister to
youth Of his congregation, "do you
know what relations you sustain in the
world" " Yes, sir; two cousins and
grandmother, but | don't intend to sus-
thin thehl much longer.
1 II is still m open question, whether
the United States hns more religions
than patent medicines? The religions
arc probably the more numerous. but
the medicines keep up the finest como-
tories. ~ darlington HdWkeW
a clothier has excited public curios-
ity hy having II argc apple painted ON
his sign. When asked for M oxplana-
ton, lie replied: "lf il had not been
foran apple, whore would the ready
mnde-clothing stores be to-dayY
An up-country paper chronicles
big church-colleetion and wants To
know who can beat il. There are
men in keokuk who can bent any
church-collection. They attend only
the evening service, keokah Cbnstitu-
ton.
Az Sunday breakfast table. Patcr-
families To son and heir "lilad to SEQ
you dressed for Sunday-school, George
II will he the first time you have been
there for six weeks" George-"I know
ii, father, but Tom Green snys tho new
pirate and cannibal books have come,
and Pm going every Sunday, steady
Walter Scott told Of the answer Of
old Bcattie Meillcdale TO Scotch d.
vine who complimented him on the
strength Of his memory. "No, sir"
said the old bordercr, II have no com
mand Of my memory. II only retains
what hits my fancy; and, probably, sir
if you were to preach 10 me for two
hours. would not be able, when you
had finished, TO remember word you
had been saying"
Now the baby was named Abll
himself, an when pa cum to where
Cain hit his brother an killed him as
dead rs II door mil, his little mouth
puckered, an the tears they came n
rollin' down his face, mn he says, Poor
Tairp says he. poor Tain Why, it's
Abl that dead, says pm, an Cain he
was the bad man that killed him. But
+ il didn't make no difference; the1ittle
creatur KEEP saying, Poor Tainl
4 Abey gone ter hcbbcn, hab good time.
Poor Tain
You Can BE Happy