Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1878-09-04
sC1ssoR1Nos.

You can't strengthen a fence by
withdrawing it. nor mans charac-
ter.
"Can storied urn or animated bust
exceed in eloquence the words, "No
Trust?"
Lincoln, Neb., charges 1000 for a
saloon license, and there are only five
in the city.
A brother of Francis Murphy, nam
ed "Jim,' has taken the temperance
lecture field.
A Connecticut COW tried to wear
pair of corsets on the inside of her
waist, and the result was death.
To be a tramp in New Hampshire
is to earn something. 1t is to earn
fifteen months in the State Prison.
The real friend of the workipgman
is the person who gives him employ
ment and enables him to live by his
trade.
A Minnesota woman lie mourning
the death of third husband, all VIC
tins Of lightning. She will put rod
on the next.
| Proposals for marriage in Nevada
are written on postal cards, and the
answer comes by return mail, "Come
on with your preacher"
"What is the outward and visible
sign in baptism ?" said person to his
Sunday School class. "The baby,
SIR" was the prompt reply.
Whenever young ladies learn 90 to
stick pin in their apron strings that
it won't scratch fellows wrist, there
will be more marriages.-IUrner's
FaNs.ifer.
The first duty of man who POUNDS
a town, according to the Detroit
Free Press, is to name one ofthe prin-
cipal streets after Washington and the
other after himself.
Noting the fact that bankrupt has
just sailed for Europe, after settling
with his creditors, the Bulletin says
ellis creditors remain at home-they
can not afford the trip"
Council Bluffs Nonpareil "If
stamping piece of money, gives it
intrinsic value the same as coin, why
will not shoe pegs make good horse
feed by calling them oats"
A young man in Cincinnati lost his
bride the other day. She smelt wits.
ky in his breath and left him at the
altar. A fellow who is too stingy to
buy box of cachous or an ounce oil
cardamon seeds doesn't deserves wife
anyway. Washington Post.
I'D. Jones, of Marshalltown,c called
the Goss girls strumpets and prosti
tutes. He was prosecuted for Islander
and the case terminated in verdic
for the girls of $4,000. This should
be warning TO all who go around
telling yarns to injure the character
, of honest and respectable people.
1 A new clerk in a drug store wa
discharged the other day because HI
didn't know how to look wise, roll hi
eyes, and say "seventy-five cents,
without turning red in the face as h
handed out little powder that hat
cost the concern about two cents ant
a fraction. Emotion and bushes
don't jingle."-Boston Globe.
A man who tainted at a camp meet
ing was sadly disappointed. He ex
pected that q dozen men would rusl
up, pull whiskey TASKS out of thei
!, pockets and give him a drink to re
vive him. The TASKS were forth
coming, but they didn't contain
n enough liquor to moisten his lipt
He tainted too late in the day.-No,
yistoscn Herald.
1t is difficult to say which pays bes
religion or infidelity. Beecher coin
:. money like bank director, and Bo
p Ingersoll has been hauling in at th
rate of 5000 lecture. [Nycum Adv.
Please, sir, which is the religion an
which is the infidelity? "Victfeve
you please, my little dear. You pay
your money and you take you
hoice.'-Phi1adelphia bulletin.
"Och, Jamie, did We niver hear u
my great spache afore the Hibernia
Y, Society" "No, Pat, how should
T. for sure was not on the ground
"Well, Jamie, you see was calle
upon by the Hibernisn Society for
spache and, be jabers, rose with til
cheers of thousands, wit
d. my heart overlooking with gratitude
he and me eyes filled with tears, and div
il a word did I spake!"
h. The papers report that when,
Kansas, the church meetings becom
slim, they get up charges against Ii
pastor, and appoint an investigation
The members all turn out then, tt
pews are well filled, and the financ,
flourish. The pastor is often made
scape.goat, for the sins of the congr
cation, but the Kansas plan, ungene
Gus as it il, is an improvement Q