The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1878-04-20
BUDGET OF FUN.
GILHOOLEY's MISFORTUNE.


am at the fist Michael Muldieroo, me head de
tective, made o. himself. Ould Thompson
that owns property galore KEN to me burow
and he scZ SCI he:
There's an ould termagant o WILDLY rnted
me house on Foorth avenoO," seq he, land the
tllvl a clint o. rint she'll pay at all, seq he,
us she an Irish widdy?' seq /.
Ply" seq he.
"Bekase,' seq |, ''yez may as well try to bate
the ould boy" SEE l. las an Irish wildly"
'Troth, | dunno PLAT countryman she IS y
"av don't bundle her out" seq he
"Ah! haw seq I.
"iis," SEE he. "Be ID but I'll niver let a
wildly bate me-" seq he land I've got out a
writ o quo warranto tOrnist her" SEE he
"FaiX" seq |, "bud it's yersilf that's the
long-headed man." seq l.
81 suppose yez want me to sind adjective
TO apprise the furnitur," SEE l. and sell it out
accordln' to Purdon's digest" seq |.
II do" seq he, bud man, it'll take divil
o smart detective TO keep that ould woman
from gittin' away wild the property seq he
AN don't yez forgit it."
"Niver fear" seq l. "she don't get the worth
% a toive clint nickel out o. the house after
git possession" SEE !.
And wild that oud Thompson whit away,
and had proivate conference wild Chcfav-
Detectives Muldieroo, for | was onaisy in me
mond wId regards to the law on the subject
Michael" seq |, ''phat rules o. procedure
that's legal tarm) are laid down be Purdon,
seZ I.
ITO the divil wild Puplon," seq he; it's me.
,ilf that has it down fine" seq he
Have yez?" seq |.
"Thrue for you" SEE he; 'the mOdus opcr-
andt is as folys," SEE he: I'VE go down to the
hoose," seq he land we take an inventory o.
the iflicts," seq he, land we apprise them"
seq he.
"Do not know that?" seq |, for | wudn't
let Muldieroo get the bulge on me in regards
TO legal knowledge doyez mond
Then" seq he, 1--WE give the wildly tin days"
sen he.
"Troth, it's yersilf that's the ignoramus,"
sen |. ftDo yez not know that this is detect
i've burotr, and Il coort o summary justice"
seq |.
Il don't NAME" scz he, that YOU give her
tin days to the workhouse, or the likes o that"
seq he, but name that the law allows hertin
days to come down wld the rint" seq he.
"Troth thought yez knew betther," seq |.
"And av she doesn't duff up widin tin days"
sen he, well send her out and dedHct our per
ccntage," seq he.
the law entirely seq |, land wanted to brobe
~
away down now seq |, and take the stock Of
the furniture sen |.
Well, surs, when we got down to the hoose,
the wildly, seq She
"Av ycz putt yer tut inside o my doorc," sen
she. "bc id bud I'll scald ycz," sen she
Michael" seq |, bad cess to this ould wo-
man, bud she names mischict,' sen |.
"Yez must take a woman like yez wud take
4 mule" sen he. "Yez wull have to be kind
and gintlc wild her" seq he. Stan to wan
side" seq he, land its mesllf that ill give her
taliy," seq he.
Well, surs, 'ay ycz behave me, MuldicrOo
that ould woman (and more betokcn he's Il
married man and has four childer), till she was
TUX intirely wild him.
"Troth," seq she to Michael its the winnin
ways yez have wild We" seq She land it's PLACED
| am" seq she, "to meet Gentleman from the
county Down." seq she.
Thin Muldieroo tould her widout the first
taste o Il blush, be heavens he's the terrible
liar, that he was a single man and was luliin'
about for Il wife, and this Modified the WILDLY
intircly, and she axed us in, and we TUX an in.
ycntory widout being molisted or made afraid,
and the wildly cried, so she did
Was the rint too wcighty for ycZ darlint?'
sen MuldcrOo, wild a lovin glance.
"Troth, ii was scZ She wild Il fresh burst o
tcais.
"Worra" sen Mudicroo, this is 4 hard
case sen he, for Il lone wildly" scZ he; and
wild that the thief O the worruld insartcd his
arrum about her waist, and thin he seq:
"GillhoOlcy,' sen he must the law take its
coorse?n SCI he.
Devil hair wull | swervc from the strict
letther o the law sen l. "Troth Pm as bull
headed in regards to that, sen |, las Controller
McCarty"
Thin" sen Muldcroo, wild an obstnsblc
sigh, ut becomes my miincholy july" seq he,
10 guard these goods for tin days" sen he.
I'll thry to make yez comturtable' SCI the
wildly, wld Il wee whimpcr.
Well, surs, for the Mkt nine days there VAS
not the least taste o. trouble phaivcr. AV Mul
dicroO's wife had known he was guardin' al
house occupied be lone WILDLY, the divil
wud have been to pay, and I'm consulted there
wudn,t have been Il har left in the wddy's
head, but | tould Mrs Mudieroo the ould
man was out afther some bank burglars. But
| mistrusted the wildly and troth | was sore
Altered she wud lead Muldicroo asthrav, and
he heavens she did.
On the last night that Michael was to stay,
and more bctokcn she hadn't come turrard wild
The rint and was 10 be SOuld out in the morn
in, she scZ sen She
Michael, wud ycz play Il game o kardS .''
III Hol tdHl' Sc|lc' ii 90 Jake Il HdI!'"
sen he.
"Wull vcz play ould mgid:" ser she, with
the devils own seductive smile.
"FaiX wull not" scr he, but I'll 90 ycZ for.
'v-fivcs." sen he for ten cints kOrner" sen he
Its square while" seq he since played
forty hveS." ScZ she, bud be me conscience
,cz She, III go yez."
And wild that they sal down, cheek beiowl,
and they pottered away at the kards and the
wildly won the most q NIldcrOo's hard
aimins, and, after wee bit she SCI, scz she:
I'm thinkin', Muster MuldicroO. its q
long time betunc drinks and wId that she
-ocs out bcyant and Tugs in Il quart bottle o.
the hard stuff; and sorry I'm to say that they
ihrank and played kar,ls and dhrank, till me
lstute detective, Muldicroo, cUdn't see hole
in a forty tut laddhcr. and all the while two