The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1878-09-20

Him an Butler iOCltitr
l. birds av u ffIher.
GNeu YorE Natl.
How James Ferguson, OF Detroit, came
to swim for twenty-oIe hours among Tue
perilous pillows of Lake Ontario: Fergu-
SON was second mate Of the Bay Leaf, 4 lake
schooner. One night last week he was
knocked overheard, and, though he shouted
Justify for help, the vessel left him IN the
darkness. One by one he Invested himself
OF coat, vest. and shoes. A soft light IN the
horizon told him where the east was and
that the moon was rising. Two hours later,
when nearly exhausted, he saw piece OF
board floating in the line OF The moons
glitter. After a long swim this was reached
and lie got partial rest. lie butteted the
waves all night. Next day the sun came
out hot on his bare head, but Ferguson
never gave up his plank, working toward
what be knew must be the blue line OF the
shore in the distance. He landed safely,
but much used up, near the village OF Nj
agara. ....
Superintendent Doty, of Chicago, pub
fishes in the Educational Weekly ninety
eight hints to teachers. A teacher who
would pause to study the two columns OF
good advice would have no time to ascer-
tain the average age OF the youngest pupil
and compare it with the per cent. of the
weight OF the tallest pupil and report the
result to the superintendent. What our
public schools really need in order to rem
der them more nearly what the people
would like TO see them Is more advice for
the teachers; maxims by the cart-ioad;
more rules, more regulations; more ave-
raging and per centiDg OF individual pupils
as to age, weight, sex, moral bias, and pre-
vious condition OF servitude. Whenever
we see superintendent unloading bulk
cargo OF proverbial advice upon a lot Of
teachers who work six hours day in school
and seven or eight out Of 1t we say, "'Chere
is an officer who is earning his salary
Ha,ckeye.
It's no wonder women can't vote. It's
no wonder men fear to trust the ballot in
the hands OF people who cannot manage
their own affairs. No person should be
allowed to vote who cannot dress without
the assistance OF paper OF pins. Now, il
n mans tailor should send his suit home In
the fearfuly incomplete and unfinished
state in which a new dress reaches It's
wearer, how quickly it would be sent back,
tied up in bundle OF cuss words" But
dress-makcr's gladly, joyfully. contentedly,
and fills her mouth as full of pins as it will
hold before she puts it on, knowing she VIII
need every one OF them and more before
the dress is on. Oh~woman, woman, il you
only knew how your husband hates the man
that makes ins.-HdNEeye. ~
Among the young ladies' who sat at the
receipt OF customs in western church fair,
i,l III of M III
ten cents each, was yinegar-viSa@ed old
maid, who had crowded herself in on the
gauzy pretence that she felt it her duty to
DO her share towards helping along the good
cause. When it came time for closing the
young ladies turned over to the church trea-
suly from five or ten dollars apiece, while
the ancient female handed in Il solitary
dime, the value Of one kiss that she re-
ceiycd from q blind man, whose taste was
so vitiated by tobacco.chewing that he was
unable to detect the imposition. Uan6avy
NenS.
The author of "Beautiful Snow" is re-
quested TO come to this office and repeat the
third stanza to the news editor. We cannot
lind q copy Of the poem anywhere, and we
are getting ready to publish it in response
to the request OF an .sOld Subscriber"
when the first snow falls Harkeye.
More drunkenness this month thus far
than for three months past in the same
length OF time. What does it mean md
iionat Prohibitionist. Mean? Why, it
means that it's sot weather. Ask us some
thing hard.-St. Louis Journal.
A colnpositor in the Belfast Age office,
setting up an obituary notice of the late
Judge Dickerson, made slight blunder.
Editor Rust wrote nisi prius Judge, but
when he took up the paper he found 'c1Se,
pioas Judge.
There is man in Virginia who says lie
has not slept for fifteen years, and that ne
lies and thinks all night. We cannot vouch
for his thinking, but he evidently keeps On
lying all day, too.-Neno Yoxls Mail
Mr. Kemney will commence stumping
massachusetts for Butler next week; and as
the General was never good ut Fighting, we
really don't see how he is going to help him.
sell. -Eafalo Express.
A Georgia railroad is to be sold in few
fIays for cash. How lucky! We we're just
casting aboilt for wedding present for q
friend OF .oars.--t Cincinnati Rreak5ast- IT,
bic.
what is the difference between hungry
Hsan and gEHston! one longs 10 eat ana
tue other eats too long Chicago CONNER
cial Advertiser.
A Hindoo at Simia has been sentenced to
eighteen months imprisonment for saying
that the world will come to an end next
year. Exchange.
The quickest way to reform is for all to
run for office and each man vote for him.
self. Free Press.
Happiness don't seem to konsist so mulch
In What q man haz az it duz in what some
boldly else haz got. So
The millennium will come when--.to use
q HibsFnianism--Wo women speak the sweet
language IT silence.
Il We need a war with Mexico. There Is ],
too much talent for bssgadier-g gong
TO waste. - keoAac Constst ution. 4. !.
Natural selection taking tie largest ne.