West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1878-05-25
EVERYDAY SPICERIES.

THE bell-punch noteth even the fall
of swallow Chicago Times.
EVE was the first female lawyer-she
practiced in the appellate court.--Keo-
xxx Constitution.
ENGLAND may he "mistress of the
Cs, but she has never yet been able TO
master the Hs.-Ncic York Mail
Tom THUMB has an office all by him
folf.-B bridgeport Standard That's be-
because he is No-higher man.--Neo
York Graphic.
THE god of war seems TO have
smoothcd his wrinklcd front. There
hasn't been n man killed at an Ameri-
can college for weck.-OH CITY Derrick
40 FOR youth ~ exclaimed the old
man bitterly, IA he threw aside the
morning paper, " that might live long
enough To find out whether it's TO be war
or eRcc. - breakfast Table.
The persistcncy with which the school
boy will 90 fishing and catch nothing, in
equaled only by the unsuccessful efforts
Of n corn doctor to secure customer in
n printing Oilice.--ROme Sentinel.
THERE are twenty-seven dollars and
fifty cents in money and seven hundred
and two dollars and fifty cents in prop
erty TO each person in the United States.
Got your share p Chicago journal.
lT is an evidence of great wisdom on
the part of medical colleges to graduate
their new doctors in the spring time, 40
they may be on hand for the ravages of
the first cucumbers. Syracuse Times.
WHEN you hear country church
choir singing, "Thcre will be no more
Al. 4 Al. =
the aforesaid choir will not be there, or
they will not be permitted to sing
oil city Derrick.
A NEW YoRK court decides that hotel
and boarding house keepers can seize
the baggage of delinquent guests, but
cannot touch their pianos. This will
force guests to pack their clothes in the
piano. And thus play it on the land
lord.--DanbUry NeiOs.
The mother-in-law has been attacked
in the New Jersey courts, where n man
has had the courage to sue her for
thirteen hundred-dollar board bill. II
was contracted during one of the short
visits TO see how Maria was getting
along. York Telegram.
SOME one has discovered that there is
actually law in force which permits
money TO be carried as baggage. Since
this il the case we may travel consider
ably this year. IL was the supposed alb
sence of such law that kept us at home
80 much NOrristot0n Herald
No, George; the article now going
the newspaper rounds entitled Tweed
as a Fireman." does not refer 10 his pres
ent occupation though his early knowl-
edge Of the duties OF fireman may
prove Of some advantage TO him in his
present home. Rorrist0t0n Herad.
A BUFF Cochin hen belonging TO g.
H. Sherwood attends TO family OF sew
enteen three-weeks-old chickens and lays
an egg q day. As eggs are only seven
cents dozen the Lord only knows what
she might do if she had proper eDcour-
agement.--FredericktoiCn Tree PreS.
A BARBER was called in to shave the
face Of dead man recently, and the
" ruling passion prompted him 10 give
the corpse the whole history Of the sill
yer bill, and the rise and fall Of gold,
and attitude OF foreign bOndhOlders in
the premises. Turner's Fdlls Reporter.
THEODORE TmToN has no excuse for
being Disconnected husband any more.
The last obstacle 10 his perfect happi-
ness has been removed by the confession
Of his wife There are some men who
wouldn't be tickled over q thing Of this
| kind, but Theodore is di1erent.--HotcL
/ Reporter.
/ A WISE man is never less alone than
/ when he is alone YoRkcrs Gazettc. We
\ have experienced the same feeling our
| selves, and intended 20 speak about it,
/ Worccsiey Prcss Which shows that
tho.e wise people don't have a monopoly
Of this amusement, after all.-Bu6alo
| Erpress.
The Toledo Wectiy Blade must be
reform paper. IL savagely denOunces
biscuit" a. the national gastric clog,
the huge spore-germ Of sclf-propagatiDg
and self-perpetuating dyspepsia fat
soaked and jaundiced with soda or sal
eratus; more indigestible than the tor
tHlqs Of the Mexican greasers" Then IL
goes on and gives six recipes for making
them .-- Haukeye.
HEREAFTER.
In after years a twilight ghost shall 6U
With Ehadowy prrstnce an thy waiting room
From ps of cir thou canst not kiss tho bloom,
Yet At old kisses viii thy pulses thrill.
I nd the old Iouging thai thou c1nIdgt not kiII
Will mock thee with the hopelessuess of doom.
While she stands there and smiles serene and stii
Thou csnst not vex her then with passions pain;
Cali and The silence will thy cali repeat,
But she will smile there with cold lips and sweet
Forgetlul Of old torturea aud the chain
hat nH.. raH.s. a.