The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1878-03-01
A Good Story Told About Alexander Ste.
phens and Bob TOOmbs.

ing the wife of the latter. Alexander ii.
ert Toombs, then Senator of the United
States, was for DIR. Royston. The DR.. proved
the number of his visits, their value accord
ing 20 local custom and his own authority to
do medical practice. Mr.. Stephens told his
client that the physician had made out his
case, and as there was nothing wherewith to
rebut or Offset the claim, the only thing left
to do was to pay it. "No, said Peter 'I
hired you to speak in my case, and now
speak"
Mr.. Stephens told him there was nothing
to say he had looked on to see that it was
made out, and it was
Peter was obstinate, and at last Mr. Steph-
ems told him to make speech himself, if he
thought one could be made.
81 will )" said Peter Bennett, "if Bobby
Toombs won't be too hard on me-"
Senator Toombs promised, and Peter be-
gan;
Gentlemen of the Jury-You and is
plain farmers, and if we don't stick together
llltSt tlt INV NtlS anu ubClblS Will Ell lut
advantage ofus. aint no doctor nor lawyer
amt no objections to them in their proper
place but they ain no farmers, gentlemen
of the jury.
"Now this man Royston, wasa new doctor
and | went fer him to come an to doctor
my wifes sore leg. And he come an put
| some salve truck onto it and some rags, but
never done it one bit of good, gentlemen Of
| the jury. ! don't believe he is no doctor, nc
way. There is doctors as is doctors sure
enough, but this man don't earn his money
aud if you send for him, as Mrs. Sarah At.
| kinson did for negro boy as was worth 81.
O00 he just kills him, and wants pay fol
it,"
"I don't" thundeied the doctor.
"Did you cure him 2' asked Peter, witt
the slow accents of judge with the blacl
cap on.
The doctor was sayin,' gentlemen of tn,
jury, we farmers when we sell our cotton ha
got to give vally for the money we ask, anC
doctors aint too good to be put to the sam,
rule. And don't believe this Sam Roys
ton is no doctor, nohow."
The physician again put in his oar, with
"Look at my diploma if you think | am NJ
doctor"
His diploma exclaimed the new-fedge,
orator with great contempt. "His diploma
Gentlemen, that is a big word for printe,
speepskin, and it didn't make no doctor O
the sheep as first wore it, nor does it of tn
man as now carries.it. A good newspape
has more in it, and | pint out to ye that h
amt no doctor at ALL"
The man of medicine was now in fury
and screamed out "Ask my patients if ! al
not doctor ~
81 asked my wife reported Peter, san sh
said as how she thought you wasn't"
ASK my other PATIENTS" said DoctC
Royston.
This seemed to be the straw that broke tn
cameps back for Peter replied with look an
tone of unutterable sadness
THAT is hard sayin,' gentlemen of tn
jury, and one that requires me to die or
haye power as I've heard tell ceased to b
exercised since the Apostles. Does he e1
pect me to bring the Angel Gabriel down t
toot his horn before his time and cry alouC
Awake, We dead and tell this court an
jury your own opinion of Roystons practice
Am to 90 to the lonely churchyard an
rap on the silent tomb and say to um as
at last at rest from physic and doctor-bill
Git up here, you, and state, if you died
a natural death, or was hurried up by son
doctor?" He says ask his patients, and, gel
tlemen of the jury, they are all dead! Whel
is Mrs. Beazly's man Sam? Go ask II
worms in the graveyard where ne lies. NJ
Peakes woman Sarah was attended by hir
and her funeral was app'inted, and he hf
the corpse ready. Where is that likely Bi
as belonged to Mr. Mitchell? a.? Now in glol
a expressin' his opinion on Royston's do
torin.' Where is that baby gal of Har
Stephens ,? She are where doctors cea
frmo troubln' and the infants are at rest.
Gentlemen Of the jury, he has ell chickt
enough at my house to pay for his salve, al
furnished the Tags, and don't suppose
charges for maxim of her worse, and even
don't pretend to charge for curin' of her, al
| am humbly thankful that he never gs
nothin' for her nwards, as he did his 9th
patients, for somethin' made um all d
mighty sudden"-
liere the applause made the speaker
down in great confusion, and in spite of
logical restatement Of the case by Senat
TOombs, the doctor lost and Peter Benn,
won.-N. y JIOrH.