The Centre reporter. [volume] (Centre Hall, Pa.) 1871-1940, 1878-02-28
Itnns nf Interest.

IA money I'm tight, avoid it--it oughh
40 know better.
MAN wmnia but little here below,
hnh We generally gets II. TOO.
Riches win never take wings and fiF
away, if you sprinkle o little economy
Ion INV taAl. EH
A man recuntiy knocked down an Gle
phant, lion and ~ Fhinoccroa. he waA
MI hucticueer.
Where ahouId lady GO for hns-
bandit TO grnilemAn's furnishing
store, of course.
| 6havingn bank would be more ap-
prupriate name for some Of those de-
lunct institutions.
II you leave yqur finger nails uncut
for thousand years, they will grow to
be |, 900 feet long. Try H.
"TKlling 10 her husband In loud
tone Of voice IN punished by sending
Persian wife 10 jail for thirty days.
Within the three years since the PHIL
adelpliia Times was started IL has bad
seventeen libel suita, and won them all.
A Chicago woman has applied 10 be-
appointed A constable, despairing os
ever catching man In any other Way.
Never take The bull bi the horns,
young man, but take him bi the tale,
then Won kan lei 60 when yon want 10. -
.Iosh Billings.
Horace dreeiey'a estate, which waa
inyentoried at S20G, 900 shortly after his
death. Yields little more than G2O, 600 ON
the final settlement.
When a man observes 30 his 10qua-
cious wife " With MI thy faults love
thee stili. " the probabilities are that
that IN inst the time abe won't keep still
Gneco- Roman wrestling with bears
has been introduced into Cincinnati.
LaIcien Mare was the wrestler, and now
he has only three hngera on Inns LEFT
hand.
There we're I, I66 deaths by accident,
disaster. suicide or yiolenee In New York
citv during 1877. There were lB2 sni-
cidea. forty eight murders and l64 cases
OF drowning,
/" Liquor started il, liquor kept II UP,
and liquor ends it, said IhorP, WHO
wma hung nj Auburn. IN. n recently.
Here's whole temperance sermon in
eleven words.
.. ME dear, asked Mrs. J. OF her
husband. on coming home from church
tie other day, what was the sweetest
thing Won saw IN bonnetE ?" The
ladiesf faces, y was the bland reply.
"Thfs IA meat and drink, !" said the
sailor, Who mmt ON the gunwhAle slipping
liis groQ--following hiR remark by tumb-
4 - #tlnm ANM
and there's washing and lodging, sad
hin messmate.
Young Green: 'aHot, isn't FTP" Young
lady ftired of the Hubiect): " 30 yon
eaid jmst now. Y. q. fneFT0ualyl:
. Yea but don't yon think il has got
hotter 2" Young lady gives young
Green up an bad Job.
A family or four persons has been
poisoned at New Orleans, and Mrs.
Lambert, one oi it@ members. aged
af1ty-two wears, fatally, by eating oys-
terra fried I'm corn meal with which
arsenic had been mixed by Mrs. Lam
bertis son-in-law 10 kiD rats.
Nellie haE . four-year-old sister Mary,
who complained To her mamma that her
"a button shoes we're hurting.
80 Why, Matte, Won We put them ON the
wrong feet" Puzzled and ready % /.
cry. She made answer What'A j 20.
mammal They's all the feet I've got +
Coming back from a little trip 30
Hmvre Partisan bewails bis misfortune
TO his railway companion. 80 One thing
lin certain; you won't catch me ON any
more oi these pleasure EXCURSIONS.
loat my wife and my cane. And then
he adds with tears in his voice. " new
cane. too.