Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1878-03-22

sides with laughter, and a few others did
so-an of them, however, can be counted
on the fingers of two hands. These
jOkers have made US laugh little when
out Of the range Of the roars of bulls and
beans IN Wall Street; but we, as people,
have failed to sustain irst-class comic jour
mails. The humor of Lowell and Holmes
and the wit of SAKE are appreciated by
feW-the choice feW-because the aroma
of their poetry gives pleasant odor to
their merriment. Mirth follows us IN
the street, and overtakes us at our occu-
pstions; it tiekles the nib oS sleep, even.
Why, then, do We not respond to her ex-
hibitions Of eheerfulness? Because we
are in haste to nail bargain or fasten a
contract. Because we want to watch the
money market-sO many are teetering"
on the beam Of speculation. Now gold
goes up, and they go down. Now stock
goes down, and they 60 up. Thus they
"teeter" day after day, and when they
tumble headlong in the crowd, they can
not see where the joke comes In. Beecher
says that the creed of most men is: " The
chief end of man Is tOglorify gold. Life
is the time afforded by Heaven to man
to get rich in, death the termination of
a great speculation, heaven place where
the streets are paved with gold, and he'll
place where shiitless men are punished
with everlasting poverty" As we grow
older and more Opulent, we shall have
more leisure and more time for laughing.
As it is, there are multitudes who find
time to laugh, and they find that daughter
doeth good like medicine" We see in
the lowest phases of mith little to laugh
at; it crops out In puns and sudden turns
of language, and is to the genuine article
what tinsel is to gOld-we smile at it
once, and then forget it.
Puns are the erysipelas of speech.
-Four puns out of five are failures.
Holmes says no young man or woman
should indulge the habit of coming puns
for it debases the currency of language
"a punster is like boy who puts pennies
on the railroad track-he may upset
whole freight train of conversation in his
efforts to fatten a witticism." Hood said
"If 1 were punished for every pan 1 shed
l should not have p1iny shed In which
to hide my punished head" The highest
purest, and most perfect specimens of'wit
ring like the music of golden eagles when
dropped on marble A good pun must
have three qualities body of speech.
soul of thought, and heart of senti-.
ment. Words without thought or feeling
are of dead letters. The head and the
heart must put thought and feeling into
the syIlables before they can inspire
mirth.
The manager of a theatre in St. Louis
offered a silver cup to the man who
would make the best conundrum. This
won the prize: "Why is the man who
presents this cup ike iquor-seIler p
Because he presents the catp which brings
many to the pit, while those above are in
tiers" Here is another: "ParVa sem
ti1la nadgnWna ignezv incitet," said wag,
pointing to a small man who was court
ing large woman. He said In plain
English, little spark Hndles great
flame. Fun is volatile, and assumes all
phases and postures- -pinching you with
quotations, coruscating in conundrums,
laughing at you from behind the mask Of
metaphor, shooting It's Attic arrows when
you have no fortress to fly to. An En-
glish bishop said, IF the devil should
lose his tail, he could get another where
bad spirits are retailed." /"
Wit is artificial; humor is natural.
Wit illustrates by uneomplimentary COM
parisons; humor is careful not to give Of
fense.
'Have you seen my descent into he'll p
inquired an author, great bore, who had
written book with fiery title.
"No," replied Douglas JerrOld, @but I
should like to.
''Do you see any thing ridiculous in my
wig ?" inquired judge of Curran.
HNOthing but the head, was the re-
ply.
These are specimens of real wit-wit
sharp as Damascus blade. Some one,
speaking of Holmes, said:
a doctor his profession runs into the ground,
And 80 some Of his patients sleep under the mound
Ihcugn thsg spirits hsd gone where the crotonb