The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1878-11-21

After man caine woman.
And sue has been after bin over
since.
She was q person Of noble extrac.
tion, beiug made of q mau's rib.
don't know why Adam wanted to
fool away his ribs in that way, but |
suppose he was not accountable for
all he did.
Woman is not an amphbious ani-
NAL, but she seems to know good
deal about the peculiar merits Of
water, and breaches then to her
husband Whenever she smells sonie-
thing stronger than water on his
breath.
1t costs moro to keep woman
than three dogs and shot gun.
But she pays You back vita inter-
ests-by giving you honse full of
children to keep you awake at night
aud smear moiasses candy Oh your
Sunday coat.
Besiles a wife is very convsni-
eut article to have about the house.
She is 80 handy to swear at when
ever YOU cut yourself With the razor
aud don feel like blaming yourself
Womaa is tue superior beins in
Massachusetts.
There baing about sity thousand
more of her sex than males in that
State.
This accounts for the terrified,
hunted down expression of tho sin
gle men who emisrate for tho Eist.
Woman was not created perfect.
She has her faalts--snch as false
hair, false teeth, false complexion,
aud 80 on.
But she is q good deal better than
her neighbor, and she knows it.
Eve was woman.
She must have been model wife,
too, for it cost Adam nothing to
keep her in clothes.
Still, don't think she was hap
py.
She couldn't go to sewing circles
and Dir her information about every
body she knew. nor excite tho envy
Of other ladies by wearing her new
spriug bonnet to church.
Neither could she hang ovor the
back fence aud gossip with her
neighbor.
All these blessed privileges were
denied her.
Poor Eve she's dead now.
And the fashion she inaugurated
10 dead also.
Ifit hadn't been for the confound.
cd "suaik' perhaps the ladies OF the
present day would dress as eccnomi
cally as Eve did.
But the ouly place whore this
primitive style is emulsted is in cer-
tain portions OF Africa, where the
women consider themselves in full
dress when they have nothing on
but a postage stamp in the centre of
their foreheads.
What beautiful example in SIM
plicity Of dress, is shown some of
the followers of fashion by that do
mestic animal, the cat, which rises in
the morning, washes its face with
its right hand, gives its tail three
jerks, and is ready dressed for the
day.
Woman is endowed with tre-
mendous fund Of knowledge, and o
tongue to suit.
She has the capacity for learning
everything she was divinely int tend.
ed to know, and few extra items
beside. -
Young ladies' take o good deal OF
stock in classics, and learn fast.
When you see young lady stu
dent from Vassar, with an absorbed
look in her eyes, and her lips rapid
ly moving. you understand at once
that she is memorizing passage
from Virgil.
But perhaps . closer inspection
will reveal the fact that she is only
chewing gum.
A woman may not be able to
sharpen . lead pencil, or hold an
umbrella, but she can pack more ar
ticlss into trunk than man can in
. ons-horse wagon.
The happiest period Of , womsn's
l!is u when she i making her wsd-
dug garmentd.
The saddest IL when her husband
comes home lats q night and yells
- hw hon W. front door steps TO
throw hin eut ; hAnd TIL af key.
- q dlchfeo1 e|asA