The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1878-02-07
WHOLE NO. 1893.
Miscellaneous


Il takes a thief to catch bank presi.
dent.
Two thousand MilWaukeans have sign.
I'd tho pledge aud erased their wisoon.
sciences.
The rabbit Is limid. bot no cook can
make it quail. This Is fact In natural
history.
Perpetual motion IT. S. Arthur is
writing another book.
The pretty girls in Utah used 10 marry
Young. but they won't do 20 any more.
Riches will never take wings and ~
away. II you sprinkle little economy on
its tail.
Astonished Enrliahman-"Hof course
there's a bel. Wat would the halphabct
be without a hell
Sergeant Bates isn't carvings Gag any
more. lie was carrying a bod when a
Chicago reporter saw him the other day.
where 4 widow HicksY" i The oonun.
drum with which New York reporters
are nov wrestling The answer Z easy,
Lord knows"
aFattcned calf for one" was a metnage
10 his father telerraphcd BY a young
man from Auburn. who went % Texas
last spFiug.
Since tho widow Oliver affair. Don
Cameron calls his father. MY Awful
Dad"
Temple bar torn down r. said be. 30
the crusade women are AZ work In Eng
land.
They have dime saving banks IN Chi.
caeo-banks that save Tor depositora
dime out Of every dollar.
Chief joseph asks. when will these
white chiefs tell the truth 2 And echo
answers when there u nothing 10 be
gained BY cheating the Indians.
Occasionally you run against men who
are not 20 anxious about the dollar Of
their fathers as they are about tho dollar
Of their fathcrs.in.law.
The parasraphists have discovered the
best method Of heating a street car
Garry q woman a block further than she
wants to 90. II viii BE- bot enough.
The most joyful thing about Christ.
mas. says the Christmas Mirror. "is the
j7v" And u might be added that the
most buoyant thing about Christmas is
the bgy.
u say. jim. said one friend 10 another.
on meeting. ~ hear our friend haa
been In speculation heavily. Hns he
made anythinrT Yes" said Jim. he
made an assisument
Tho publisher of Democrats paper In
Illinois prints IN each issue chapter Of
the Bible and. upon being ridicul~d Tor
u BY his contemporaries. remarks edito-
rially I'VE publish nothing bat what ia
news 10 our rcaderA'
The annual expense of The drink bin
in Great Britain j. l47 2ss $50 lhs stcr-
ling. aud yet We haven't missed any Of
the politicians from around the City
Hall recently.
A oorreapo ndent asks us how We
stand on ailvcfY We don't stand on
silver al all We carry Il ir our pockets
without any inoonyonicnoe.
"Mariah Mariah please alei mo Ia
said a man Co biz wife. who was looking
out Of the window watching him trying
10 open the door with a tooihpick. "lsh
tread on my key aud iis at aaiioned
out"
An enthusiast" says Billings. "ia an
individual who believes about Tour times
a. much a. he can prove. and who can
prove four times a. much as anybody
else will believe
II isn't advisable 10 toll al you think.
Beccher declared there was no bell. and
Owen Murphy Of New York was so Glad
10 hear IL that be lied with 5000 Of that
city money.
A farmer toward the Ridge. Who bought
a kicking COW only three weeks ago. N.
ready talks Of Withdrawing from the
church.
English e the court language of Ger.
many. IL is proud moment when
Bhton or American. visiting the palace
j. salutcd With. Dot vos a pooiy tehpicn-
90 morning. ain'titr
A clip of the compositor'a def fingers
makes the Boston Advertiser say that
lecturer talked 20 the Young Hens
Christian Association uf course the
speaker addressed only the iaity.
Did you ever watch the noiseless
movements Of a pretty girls lips a. her
dresa u trodden upon. aud marvel at the
seli command which enables her 10 do
the situation In 90 quiet a manner
The man who thought he would pro.
sent his wife with material for new
dress was somewhat surprised 10 sec tho
dealer clip the cloth in an envelope aud
say he would have the buttons scnt right
up IN a dray.
A girl who formerly lived 10 So Louis.
writes from Colorado 30 an old friend
This u the hnndsomrst 200 acres I ever
put my foot down on" Her father ought
10 get 100 acres more aud have a lawn
around her foot
A Michigan widow recently bid her
~ow away under the bed 10 save u from
The tax collector This may b. called a
genuine case Of "cowhidinF BY a female.
a man down in Bradford PeHnsyl.
vauia. cured himself Of the dyspepsia by
rhnsiu. Ca chrome agent over a mountain
nine miles high We look 20 nre this
remedy more generally adopted The
ynly trouble with Il Il there may uot be
nouEh mountains 10 go around
There Is a great deal of truth in the
'tatrment oi contemporary, that when
man fails in business people cay be- hes
gone up but you never bear his cred
itofs make that assertion when they az.
tend bis ohscquica.
when senator Davis wakes up In the
morning BE- calls oui 81 biz private srcro.
ary John. on which side did I vote
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