Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1878-08-30

CQs
wink placed over my ewes, and hurried
on In zlgzag course, till had no idea
! of position except the perpendicular
and couldn't have named the town I was
in. This ended by my coming to a full
stop against an iron door. A loud knock
with an iron hammer, was answered by
a voice within:
"Hallooi what's upT
My conductor gave reply, in whis-
per, at wicket when the door was
opened, and a chorus of voices exclaimed e.
Death to intruders p
Then my conductor said, as if address
ing some one,
Most Perpendicular Potentatel we
would fain come in"
This is but the entrance" replied a
voice; doth the stranger know Che
perils by the way-the ravines, volcanoes.
ime-pits, cataracts, avalanches, wild
beasts, and so forth?'
HE doth, and he knoweth and so
forth best"
@Doth he fear the goat, and hath he
been baptised in the seventh bath of
Ssnacharib with the leaden faucetT
"He hath"
"Then he can enter for the race"
I crossed the threshold and the door
closed behind me with startling clang,
which made my nerves jar so that I
seemed to hear them. l missed my con-
ductor from my side, and found was TO
"go alone" with what I felt was not a
very good hand. 1 was then questioned.
DO you promise to see, and yet not
see-knoW, and yet not know-feeI and
yet not feel F' g.
| 81 do - sold nc H-,,,I,r oe : o.,.Il
Then bring the testing ordeal"
A moment after I felt a pin thrust
about two inches through the thick part
of my flesh, and yelled with all my
might. sa sa4
"a forfeit he feelsp was shouted. =
inwardly confessed that l did, and
would have given dollar to hit the one
that had made pin cushion of me. NY
hands were released and the bandage
taken from my eyes, when saw before
me, on a tripod about ten feet high, my
brother-in-law, as the Grand Augur,
armed with cleaver, supported by two
furious-looking rufians, masked. 1 nod
ded to him, when cry was again raised:
"a Forfeit he seesp
Then the Grand Augur said, while
sternness sat on his brow and judgment
beamed from both his eyes:
Take him before the Grand Oriental
Dictator for discipline"
Hold on" said L
"a Forfeit He hears !" arose around
me.
"Away with him." cried the Grand
Augur. ssi
was seized by several, dressed as
imps, and rushed around the vast apart
ment which stretched away into dis
tance, about which many Odd-looking
chaps were seated, until we came to a
raised throne on which the Dictator sat.
His official symbol was pair of scales,
that did not seem TO hang very even, and
his dress a scarlet robe trimmed with
ermine. He was armed with an i'm
mense axe.
One of my attendants spoke:
''Most Puisant Dictator-the culprit in |
hand sees, hears and feels, contrary to |
his Obligation"
The axe was slowly raised, the eyes of |
the Dictator flashed angrily, and 1 stood |
expecting to be knocked, when the axe
was lowered. f
"No," said he, "his innocency and
beauty save him; conduct him to the |
Final Arbiter in the southeast"
/ was then led before another seat on /
dressed in long black robe, and wear
ing three-cornered hat.
What hast in hand, brotherp he
said.
"A euIprit sent you for arbitration, ne
having passed the three great ordeals
through the aid of impudence and
beauty"
Bring out the goat" said the Arbiter.
I aOr,1H not cao IL o-,,,.o. 1,,,E I
before me was huge animal of the hex
pattern, with horns on both ends, that
stamped the floor as if he felt he had
important business on hand and was i'm
patient to be about it.
"Let him ride" said the Arbiter.
was Immediately strapped on the
animals back, an immense gong was
sounded, and away / was carried-round
left me, and was taken Off A bucket
of water was dashed over me, and, as 1
came to myself, a shout arose:
"He has settledl" a5t.3t- .-s
thought he had, rather. The goat
had disappeared, and was again brought
before the first tripod.
my Brother" said its occupant, rub
bing his nose, "fom the ceremony you
|
three things: Friendship, Love and
Truth are the cardinal principles incul-
Gated, and by these lessons you have re-
ceived you are to see the necessity of un-
firing Friendship, as a general thing
when it serves your purpose best; Love
discreetly confning yourself, forpruden-
tial reasons, to the masculine sex-ifyou
are q married man; regard the Truth
always, for it is as impossible for one of
US to get along without Truth as without
soap. The world may condemn you fol
sticking to the truth, but don't mind it
washer for publication"
/ was then conducted to a throne in
the northwest on which sat the Grand
Whitewater, clothed in spotIess white.
Near him was the Troubadour, dressed as
Apollo, holding harp. The G. W.
said: ~ -7f ist
Strike the lyrel" a- t'aa
thought ne meant me and ducked,
but the Tyre was struck and lyrist sung:
+The weary ways are oer at last
OF pain and keen vexation;
Now rest upon the happy shore
In purih-ki-ation."
They then put a white gown on me,
tolerablY clean, and the G. w. sprinkled I
some rose-Water on me from a silver wa
ter-pot, which l was told was the purif- I
cation designated. was then taken to
the centre of the room, where the whole I
body Joined in dance round about me, {
to the twanging Tyre:
cit is finished He is ours, c
We are his by occult powers; a
Nay we all Of Us prove zeaious Z
As the oldest kind Of fellowsP
zach one as he passed gave me a s
punch or kick, as proof Of the SINGER. v
ity of his feeling, intimating that all 7
we're good at a PINCH" but my head C
grew SO dizzy that fell down, in which n
condition | was taken out. When s
came to, found myself at home, my il
wife pinching me in order TO wake me 4
up. And that was my experience in the v
'Old Work" Was it dream2 o
Of the lessons I received, that regard C
ng the Truth sticks to me still, and v
always inculeate the Truth, illustrating 81
t with the story l have heard of 6. H
who, at ten years Of age,
confessed to barking up a cherry tree
Rith his little hatchet because he
wouldn't tell a lie. "Come here, my "
.on," said old Mr.. Washington, > "and +
ct me larrup you, for it were better i
hat twenty boys should be fogged than 4
4 = ~ -, - 1