The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1878-12-05
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| That waited the hTcs zc OF tns btire fton Afsr.
/ And beartih the oyster anl q IN.
1eIeom that yoWl foE the yarrowins yam,
| Oe registers that oysters provide
lie clamp rs thar eiaw for ihs clAnmysom,
| clam,
May Bile sing thy basiu.. be,ii,:
Crate fesults-cinders.
a T,u,onic figure Of spsrcb-g
Ga the iail-a scolding woman.
a great tai -learer the pesc, ck.
A ropes end is worse than i;s blight.
Green p1irs-young unmarried folks.
A lazy girl must be told to get up
and dust.
Oft in the Silly night-some5ody
snores.
Rolling stock-opers,ions in c;gsr
factory.
ln the editorial profession many are
called but few are chosen.
OF course when heavy shock comes
the bank OF Giasgow's to pieces.
Girls, lo:s of fellows wonld be glad
to 'Set the mitten" these c1ld morn
ings.
How to lose fl ash start a mest mar
ket and trust every oae that comes
along.
Some merought To carry pedome-
tiers To see how far they run In
debt.
Patti is worth million. True, It's
Patti; Patti It's true, 'ris true. Pity
we are not Patti.
The best way to test friendship is to
try to borrow Il dollar toward the close
OF the week.
The editor who was ''pained to ar
nounce" took a couple of drains more
and felt better.
The man whose son is inspired by
old rye may be looked upon as rye
sing man. Hs will be elevated ire
quently.
Bleeding at the nose can be stopped
by telling a man that his parents were
born in a poor house. HIS nose will
stop and yours will begin.
There are ten shades of red this sea-
son in women's toggery and 347 shades
Of blue about the husband and father
who foots the dry goods and millinery
bills.
"When a mans chin-whiskers turn
gray before the hair on his head does,
it shows which part of him has done
the most work." observes Il philosoph-
ical exchange.
"a splendid croquet ground IN the
rear" said the real estate agent. And
when he hal D Iught the house and
moved in he found that f.ogs kept
croaking all night.
You may step on a mans foot and
he'll forgive you, you may rumple his
hair and he'll excuse you, but there Is
no apology he will accept if you have
brushed his silk hat against the grain.
Why is it that tive-sixths OF man
kind when cutting open slap jack
and finding roach therein, instead of
feeling flood of pity at the fate of the
animal, go around for the cook with a
slung- shot up their sleeves?
A squirrel saw man late in the fall
without an overcoat. Said he to Mrs.
Squirrel: Going to be mild winter
this year, NSncj; men go without
O'SiNOoSo' uhbldl-lb Is as easy IOI |
the squirrel to tell what the weather |
will be by what the man wears, as for |
the man by what the squirrel weaIs'
Before they were married he would |
take his guitar, sally fUTtfI, station |
himself under her window and sing 70,
tenor tones: "Spesk to me, love, only |
speak" A year after marriage he was
friend not to marry unless
he could find a dumb woman. 1t Is
this revolution Of sentiment that keeps |
the world from growing rusty and |
Lo! the poor Indianl When lie goes
home to his cherished wigwam in the
evening he has no dime novel with |
which to while away the weary hours
no friend next door to come in and |
talk politics; no medical almanac tn |
read; no New York papers with full |
proceedings of the rTcy Vanderbilt |
will case; no money in q safe for mask
ed robbers to break in and steal-no |
civilized pleasures of this kind. He |
simply hangs up the bloody scalps he |
has captured during the day, beais his
squaws with a a club, wraps buffalo |
robe around him and lies down to |
pleasant dreams. II pale face comes
within half mile of his wigwam, the |
red man snuffs him afar,
awakes and goes ont and shoots him |
full of arrows.