davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

THAT COOP OLD TUNE.-'Just give
me u chance to pour my voice into
that machine, will you :? said a red
nosed man stepping to the front at a
phonosraph matinee the other day.
Certainly, said Mr.. Giililand.--
Put your mouth down close, without
ressing, speak distinctly, and the in
strument will repeat every word just
exact Y as yon say it..
Amt you joking now? Will it
really say the same thing | do, with
out any mixing up and changing g
around, to turn the joke 2
You will get back your own words
nothing more or less, said the pro
prietor.
Hold my hat then, and pull open
all the valves, said the man, as he
nervouslv brought his mouth to the
proper position. Steady now, LIN
about to warble.
'Come-up--boys-eyery body
anl-drink-- with - the - land -
lord ! was what he said, with an en-
phasis on every word, and the same
was what the marvellous little won-er
shriekel back.
That's the sweetest music I've
heard for about ten years, said the
man, with moist palate and glow
ing eve, and | reckon it's about that
long since I've heard that good old
tune ground out. | don't s'pose III
get another chance to hear it again,
and so, if it ain too much trouble,
please run her back and shoot it out
once or twice more. It's good for the
rheumatic, that is. My what head
that man has !. If he could on y get
ap jug now that cou!d never be
empted !! and the man walked out
with sad look and an unsteady step.
-'Cincinnati Breakfast Table.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08
Selected Sfurn.
4 BACXELOR'.S $ VOOING.

How charming it Is to reside in the
country during the simmer, away
from the tolls and turmoils Of city
life.
Thinking thus | found myself one
May afternoon on the porch OF my
family Inheritance as the door was
opened by my new tenaat, John Aus.
tin.
He invited me into the old parlor,
asking me to remain there for few
moments, and then stepped into an
ad olning apartment where a colo
the steady tones Of Mr.. Austin.-
Presently the door was opened, and
my host informed me that | was vel.
cc me to be their lod ger for the sea-
son.
Meantime, | had not been idle. |
looked at the quaint chairs set regu
larly about the room, and the square
angIed sofa, the high mantel-piece
aud its array Of solemn trlaes, silver
candlesticks, aud little work basket
and a little thimble which | supposed
might belong to a little girl. ! hoped
to find this same child an agreeable
companion. s. did.
Now that | arn fairly installed in
my new home | intend to write II
journal. am going to write ust
what | see, hear or feel. | haven't t
found out who that little girl is yet.
June 81 was wondering what |
should put in my Journal first, when
| solved the problem that had been
pnzzIing my brain for the last few
days-who that little girl was.
i haven't seen voar little girl yet,'
| remark ed at breakfast time to Mr..
Austin.
No, sir; she has been quite busy.
'Ah goes to school, does she ?
oh, no sir. She went to board
ing school last season, but she is to
stay at home this year. Education is
very expensive here.
retired to my room and engaged
in a long reverie. Then | adjourned
TO the back yard. Under cherry
tree which stood there was an ironing
table. basket of clothes and small
girlish figure engaged in ironing. She
vas slender, and wore clean but
faded calico dress, that yet looked
comely, fitted to such roun led shape
Her hair was thrown back from her
face and held by net over its rebel
lious waves. Can this be the little
girl ? | am all impatient to find out.
June 2O.-A whole fortnight has
pissed without Il record-at least on
paper. A new element has entered
into the household in the person Of
little Jake-Nancy, the hired hel ps
child--about four years old, with hair
that is almost wool, yet fails in respect
to color.
Olive, the little gi,l-to tell the
truth, she is eightcen-has a fine
>oiee and sings in he choir at the
village chucL. Thv druggists clerk !
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

A TIMELY HlNr-A boot black
in turning into Woodward avenue
from Congress street recently on a
run bumped against woman, who at
once grabbed for his hair. Fail.
ing to secure grip, she halted and
gave him to understand that if she
had the bringing up Of him he would
have gaIloplng consumption IN less
than SIX weeks. lie took it patiently
ior Il rmc, but when he had enough
quietly observed
4 hope you won't never die,
ina am.
why? she suIleuly inquired.
Because the boly.snatchcrs will
dig you W, sure :
'Eh? What that =
The doctors Of this town would
have that jaw Of yours if they had to
fight the hull piece force, he ex-
claimed as he went away.
She could not help feeling Of her
chin as she passed on.-'Detrolt Free
Press.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

PROVERBS FOR SUBsCElBERs.- "A
wise son maketh father 8 lad, and :
promp paying subscriber causeth al
editor to laugh.
Folly is JOY that is destitute o
wisdom, but delinquent subscribers
cause suffering in the house Of
newspaper maker.
Al the ways Of man are clear lr
his own ewes, except the way the de-
linquent subscriber has in not paying
for his newspaper
Better is a little righteousness than
a thousand subscribers who cheat
the printer.
Better is the poor man who walk
eth in integrity, and pays his sub
scrlption, than the rich man who tell
eth the collector to call again.
Judgments arc prepared for scorn-
ers, stri pes tor the backs Of fools, and
lasting punishment for him who pay
eth not for his newspaper.
Hope deferred maketh the heart
sick, is proverb sadly realized by
the publisher who sends out bills.
MI ,,o,,o,, ,f =, ,b;lJ 10 ,vopJo or
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08
SOCIETIES..

A. r. and 4. w., No. 15J-AIccts every
sccont and fourth Monday in each month.
Van Is, Oslcr, Secretary.
K. IF p No. 67-Mcct every Friday
night. II. of Il. g. $, &. Ilarman.
l. o. Of o. r., No. 4G-Mcct every
Thursday night Jnhn Landcrs, Scc'y.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

What can you do on farm p in
quired farmer Of man who wanted
work. DO you know how to build a
stone wall? oh, yes. Any fool
knows that. You just have to set
one stone on another. No, you
don t ! thundered the farmer You
have to set one stone on two. You
can 90.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

..ssi.... -
nN and after Sunday, May 10, 1873,
~ Passenger Trains will run as fol-
LEAVE MECHANICSTOWN
For Baltimore and Westminster at 7:21 A.
NJ, and 3:53 Z. NJ.
For Hagcrstown and Willianisport ll:l5
A NJ and 1871 NJ
ARRIVE MECIANICSTOWN
From Baltimore and Westminster at II
Is A NJ and 1:3l Z NJ
From WiliaHsport and IIaycrstown at
7:2l Il H. and 3;jj pm
EMMITrsBURG RAILROAD Change Of
!Schelmb.-On and after Sunday, May 10,
trains will leave Enmiltsburg at G.55 a. M,
and $50 and 62j p. M and arrive at
Rocky Ridge 725 a. m, and 400 and $50
pm.
And will leave Rocky Ridge 1856 II. m,
and 400 and 10 p. H.. and arrive at En-
mittsburg 1l.25a. m, and 440 and aud 5
p. M.
Passenger Trains On w. NJ Il. r. leave
Rocky Ridge as follows: Eastward-73S
u. NJ, and 344 p. m. Westward -lG.55
a. IN and 656 p. m.
JIM. HOOD,
Gen'l Manager.
B. II. G2ISWOLD,
i,pn'l Ticket A rent
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

No SCARE A boy who WAS disap
pointed the other day in making a
sale Of tinware to a woman, mnttered
something which excited her indigna'
ton, and she gave him a great piece
of her mind. In "jawing back" he
said
Your husband ought to be arrested
for working on Sunday =
Working on Snnday-come here
Bub No", Bub, if you'll prove that
my husband ever worked on Sunday
or any other day in the week, III
give you a dollar 1--we lived with
him twenty years, and have always
had to buy even his liquor and tobac
co, and now if he's gone 10 work ]
want to find it out
The boy backed off without anoth'
er word.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

Miss Winnie Worster, of $40 Gates
avenue, Brooklyn, went to the back
basement of her house Wednesday
morning to prepare breakfast for her
family. Mr.. Worster had bought a
kerosene stove in order to avoid the
heat Of rance. While Miss Worster
was engaged in cooking the stove ex-
ploded, burning the young woman
terribly, and totally binding her. -
Two physicians who were Immediate
ly called pronounced her injuries IA
tai, and in sholt time she died.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

No BOOKS NEcEssARy.-'My son,
you should rise with the sun, said the
old gentleman, knocking at the door:
Governor, mu bled a youthful
voice from under the bed clothes, i
fear you never studied the Coperni-
can theory-the sun does not rise or
otherwise move.
Well, it don't need books to tell
me that of my son ! replied the
blunt paternal, turning away.
And the young colleglAn concluded
that possibly "the old man was nat
urellv Just about as smart as his boy.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

I make my home at Gray rock now
but would you believe that Olive still
denies that she kissed me when I lay
helpless? She says she wouldn't take
advantage Of any one. Arthur Lee
is married to DR.. Mills sister and |
-am happy.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

Joseph Stranyk, a Polish miner at
the Kelley Run Colliery of the Tnom-
as Coal Company at Shenandoah, Pa.
While ascending the slope Tuesday on
a wagon, fell from it and rolled down
the mine, distance of eighty yards,
receiving conclusion Of the brain,
which will cause his death.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08
Job Work-CASH ON DELIVERY
THE HOT BRIGADE.

Blazed fierce the sun on high,
Scorchcd breezcs rustled by,
Up went the mercury,
Up to 100!
Swcltcred the Hot Brigade,
o the wild howl they made,
When shall its echo fade?
Frightful 100!
Ice to the right of them,
Beer to the left of them,
Cold tea in front OF them,
Barkccpcrs bundcrcd (!
Swift up the bulb did hic,
Singing Sweet Byand.By,'
Fahrenhcits mcrcu ry,
Tn TO 100
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

A University student broke through
the ice on Lake Montana, the other
day, where the water was on y four
feet deep. When he was hauled out
and laid upon the ice, he family y whis-
o red Boys, don't care for my
self, but I'm engaged.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

WHY JENKs never MARR1ED.-]
think a woman is a tremendous be-
ing said jerks. when she's right
she's the RICHEST thing that floats
when she's wrong she's the biggest
nuisance that plodghs the sea, even il
she is little and don't draw two feet
of water. Perhaps it isn't just the
thing to say to a boy like you, but
you'll never speak of it if l should
tell you little something?'
%, never, | assured him.
Well, | supposed l might have
&een a married man, and jerks
avoided my eyes by pretending to
discover horse shoe in the road.
You don't say so ! | exclaimed in
undisguised astonishment, for it had
never occurred to me that such man
as jerks could ever marry.
Yes, | waited on a girl once.
WAS she beautiful 2 inquired.
We'll, | should say fair to md
ding, responded jerks, pursing his
lips as if determined to render can
did judgement. Fair to middling,
barring q few freckles.
But you didn't leave her on ac-
count Of her freckles 2 | asked.
No, dldu't cave her on account
of her freck les she was a good girl,
and | waited upon her, 1t don't seem
possible that | ever really waited
upon a girl, but did
Why didn't you marry her? 2 | en-
lnred warmly.
1T wasn't her fault, said jerks
She was good girl.
Then why didn't you marry her?
| insisted
We'll, there was another fellow got
hanging around, and--you know how
such things so. | was busy, and did,
mt tend up very well, I s'pose she
got tired waiting for me-or some
thing and the fellow married her,
but I've never blamed her. She's
been sorry enough | guess.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

When two girls meet, they kiss
When two young men meet, they
don't. That shows who wants kissing
the Wor9t
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

ORPHANS COURT.
Orphans Court meets every Monday and
Tuesday ot each week
Chief Judge-Wm. J. Black.
Asmciatcs-Thonas lIolbrunncr and Jno
IIightmcn.
Register IF IFWs-Col. John r. Rouzcr
County CommiSsjoners-Joh Withcrow,
President Solomon d. Dcvbiss Jos Gro,
Mise, Stephen II. Bowlus, David NJ. Whip.
Lurh to CJu,mtxs,oncrs-II F. Steiner
Colector Of Suite and County Tares-W
a u Miller.
Couny Surreyor-Wm. II. Ramsburg.
SCHOOL COMMISSIONERS.
President, James WPcarrc; Commission
crs-William G Baker, James w. Troxcl',
Joseph Brown, Henry Boyle.
JUSTICES OF TIE PEACE
District No. 15-Frc1'k White, Mcchan-
icstown; G i. Firor, Graccham; VIM. ).
McPherson Catoctin Furnace.
REGISTRAR Or VOTERS.
District No. 15-Bcrnard Co!lillowcr
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

There is something very friendly
about man whc tells you to call
again with your little bill.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

A resident fisherman fishing for
trout on another mans land, the 9TH
er day, completely silenced the own
er who demonstrated, with the ma es-
tic answer: Who wants to catch
your trout? am only trying to
drown this worm
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

A Western writer has discovered
that kissing gil who has cold
nose PRODUCES a funny feeling.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

A peep behind the curtain-'Moth-
err don't get me mad now Harry
is coming and shall be all of a flush.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

The man who wrote Revolutions
never go backward, had never
turned saumersault over the tall
board of farm wagon.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

The memory Of a child is wonder
full He knows what he found in his
stocking a year ago.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08


AN ELEPHANTS REvENGE.-Ele
plants have so much sympathy with
deprayed human nature as to think
with B, "Sweet is revenge" An
anecdote Of an elephants revenge
translated from the French, is as fol.
lows: Upon one of the plantation,
was an English overseer named Ben.
nett, an exceedingly cross and disa-
greeahle man, who was employed by
the master because OF his great capa,
bility in directing affairs. Upon the
plantation was an elephant named
Dourga, that Bennett greatly dis
liked, and upon whom lie often
played mean tricks. HIS employer
after reproying him several times tol
his unklndness to the animal warned
him that if be c4rriethis tricks too
far, Dourya would pay him back with
interest. Finally the time came
when Dourgas patience was tried be-
youd endurance. lie WAS in the hab-
it Of receiving every lnornlnS from
his driver a huge corn ca lie covered
with molasses, Of which he WAS very
fond. One morning, as this cake
was being carried to him on a BAN.
boo hurdle, Bennett, who was pass.
ing with u pot full of red pirnento,
threw it upon the cake, and then
stopped to watch and mimic the
grlnaces made by the elephant when
he swallowed it. The result was easy
to see. The poor animal, his mouth
on fire, passed the day in marsh
trying to calm the thirst that was de-
vourlng him, and to appease the in
Aammation produced by the fiery
dose he had swallowed. When even
ing came, the hour when Bennett
brought the coolies from work, the
elephant pounced upon him, picked
him up with his trunk and pitched
him headlong in large reservoir or
pond o. water, which was thirty or
forty feet deep. Bennett, who knew
how to swim, quickly swan to the
edge. Dourga allowed him to climb
up the bank, when he picked him up
again as if he had been wisp of
straw, and threw him back in the
water. This was repeated rs many
times as Bennett attempted to escape,
until he was compelled TO remain III
the water, keeping his head up as
well as he could. The affair would
have ended with sure drowning for
Bennett if one of the coolies had not
come to his rescue and forced Dourgl
away.
The elephant never forgot the lnjn-
ry done him, and rarely allowed All
to escape to still further
revenge himself upon the overseer.--
Sometimes he would throw paw full
Of sand slap in Benefits face again
it would be spout of water thrown
over him at another time he would
be pltcEed into a cactus bush, from
which he would get out scarcely alive
20 horribly scratched would he be-
1t was impossible to correct Donra
md make him behave. The upshot
of the whole affair was that Bennett
was obliged to leave the plantation,
which was not enough for him and
Doura together, and his employer val
led the elephant more than he dlo
ais oyerseer.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

Conversation at break fast table
Smith: Amt John late in bringing
the mail this morning. Jones: 1
guess there something on the postal
cards that he don t understand. lie $
probably reading them over twice.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08
DIRECTORY
uF FREDERICK COUNTY
AND
The Borough of MechanicStown

-( :o y
COUNTY OFFICERS:
CNnf Judge-IIon. X. |. Bowie.
Assocsu1es-Hons. John A Lynch and w
V Bouic.
States Atorney-John c. Mottcr.
Glerh Of Circuit COurt-Thomas Cor
such. .---.-.-..
Sherit-Col. VIM Richardson.
uditor-Frcd'k J. Nelson.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

A young lady of Washington Court
house, H., recently attempted suicide
by taking a large dose Of indigo. She
had the blues.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

why George are you smoking ?
exclaimed an amazed mother, who
came upon her little son as he Was
putting away at cigar. "N-no.
ma I'm only keeping it lighted for
another boy."
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

"SaIly, what have you done with
the cream? These children cannot
eat skim milk for breakfast. Sure
ma am it ism t mesilf that would be
after giving the skum to yez. [ TUX
that and gave it to the cats.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

NN and after Sunday, May 10, 1873,
" Passenger Trains will run as fol
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

Died while reading a newspaper
says u recent paragraph. On investi.
CATION it was found that he had Dor.
loSed the paper from a neighbor.
A pretty schoolmIstress in Maiden,
Mass, kept bov fifteen minutes af-
ter school as a punishment, and when
The time was up he asked her if she
couldn't make it half an hour.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1878-08-08

is the basso Of the choir, and seems to
feel it incumbent upon him to accom-
pany the girl home. He is rather
good looking, but l think I had bet
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1878-10-18
From China Grove.

Ma. Enlros:-fou will readily oe-cie,e
from the caption Of my article, tina, hs,e
changed my residence. and will hereafter
address you from this point. The health
of this locality is very good, and the pres
ent dry weather is all that farmers could
desire for gathering their crops. Cotton
picking is being pushed with vim, and
the gathering OF corn has also commenced.
Both crops sre unusually good this year.
but the exceedingly low prices they bring.
is somewhat dishearening to producers.
Your fellow townsman, Mr.. Price, In: elf
Gent and energetic deputy tax collector.
made US flying call. in his Official capa-
city, few days ago. and while sojourniag
with Us, he found man and votcx,r who
boosted that he had no, paid tau since
freedom. Mr.. Price Immediately opened
his battery upon him; in a few minutes
the freedman succumbed, paid over he
full amount oflast years tar, and departed
a sadder and poorer man. This same
individual is a sort Of migratory animal,
never remaining in one place long enough
to be assessed, or the tax collected. Moro
over. he Is a would be candidate f,r the
Legislature, and se.fconstitutcd delegate
to the State, county and precinct conyen-
tons. In short, he looks upon himself as
the head, front and embodimen, Of Rali-
eal'sm in this county. and yet grunlbIes
nightly because he has to pay tas. Last
Tuesday evening heary rSin fell, which
seriously interfered with farm work. II.
October 10Th, 1873.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1878-10-18

Editors nsunor.

Editors Bsnnor:
On Wednesday evening, the 9Th instant.
there was an asscmblage Of the youth aud
beauty of the Spring Hill neghborhood a,
the residence of Mr.. A T. Bowers. The
occasion was the marriage OF Mr.. W. A
Higgins and Miss Dora Garrett. Mr.. C.
W. Crater and Miss Lula Bowers, Mr.. K.
Speers and Miss Lou. Lewis, were the
groomsmen and bridesmaids The cere-
mony was performed BY Rev. ]. I. Lemons.
Congratulations were mex, in order, after
which supper was announced Full justice
was done the supper by the guests, though
must acknowledge my inability to do it
justice ION paper" Mrs. Garrett and Mrs.
Bowers deserve great credit for the stump
tuous repast. Supper over all joined in
conversation and plays until the brides
cake was brought forward; all were anxious
10 cut the gold rirg. which was secre,ed
within the cake, Miss Lula Bowers sue
ceeding in obtaining the mig. The panty
broke up all O'Clock May their journey
through life be happy and prosperous
The prospects for several more weddings
this neighborhood arc nsttering. The
young ladies are so beautiful and fascinat-
ing that unway and inexperienced sw aims
are almost certain to be entrappcd in The
matrimonial MOOSE. RoBsIA Hoon.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1878-10-18
WASHINGTON GOSSIP.

Editors Banner:
ia premium was offered for
the dullest town, / think Wash
ington would take it. We hear
nothing but cotton picking and
politics discussed. A radical
pow-wow was held at the Freed
mems church on Saturday last.
Tom Lockett, Dick Haryin and
Charlie Lockett of Brennan
were in attendance. Every
other man here is a candidate
for some Office. We have not
less than half dozen candidates
for constable and the office isn't
worth $4,000 a year either.
Owing to the old fogyimn Of
this place the bridge was placed
a mile above the ''city" and the
road to Navasota goes through
a corner of Brazos county; few,
however, go via the bridge. Mr..
Fayette Smith still runs his fer
ry and many prefer crossing on
"the fla" to going a mile out
of-the way. Mrs. E. L. Randle
has resumed her school and has
a full compliment of pupils.
The horse thief has been
here. Arthur Bosen, freedman,
lost a horse on Friday night,
Messrs. Fayettc Smith and
Mart Cochran, involuntarily,
contributed saddle and bride
to enable the rascal to ride away
in comfort.
Miss Fannie Lea. ofCourtney,
has paid US pleasant visit.
Miss Adelaide Shaffer and her
mother have been here on a
visit. Miss Adelaide having
lived in Brennan for some time,
her many friends will doubtless
be glad to learn that she is in
excellent health and looking
well. l learn that several of our
young ladies propose attending
the Hook and Ladder ball on Fri
day next. Miss Bessie McCown
has returned from her visit to
Austin and Round Rock, having
spent delightful summer.
There hasn't been a marriage
here in last two years and from
present prospects l don't think
any will take place in the next
two.
Mr. John Buckley. at Coles
Creek, lost his little boy last Fri
day. Mrs. Nelson Davis, of
Houston, is here on visit.
Her many friends extend her a
hearty welcome.
RosALfSD.
Oct. Is.