The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-04-25
HI NOR.

paDy OeorSe AeAIot'
Now is the time to LOOK to the dental
condition of your garden rakes.
''Walk in love" Puta comma after in
and see how the sense will be altered
An honest man is tie noblest work of
God, but He must be still at work on him.
Many poor families keep goat. If
they are denied the luxury of bread they
always have their butter.
If yon take off your fiannels now, you
might as well dispose of them permanent
Il. The angels rarely wear them.
Josh Billings says, very truly, you'd
better not know SO much, than to know
so many thirgs that amt so"
The difference between a model woman
and women model is: One is bare pos
sibility, and the other is a naked fact.
Don't tell the Utica school children that
the age of miracles has passed. The boys
and girls behold numericals every day.
4 western editor who was in prison for
libelling Judge, was deliberately solicit
ed by the jailor to give the prison a puff.
In Pittsburg a man gives all his prop
erty in part payment of his taxes, and
the city gives him a years time on the
rest.
The aerophone can call boy louder
than any mother, but can't do for him
after he lodges into the gate as mother
can.
WHEN n man wants to call puppy he
whistles: but girl just walks along with
her handkerchief floating across her
shoulder.
1t is said that sliding down hill was the
direct cause of over GOO deaths during the
last winter. The obvious moral is-always
slide up hill.
A Nevada politician was elected on the
merits of one single speech. All he said
was j: "Fellow-cOuntrymen follow me to
yonder saloon -
The words spoken by the Edison talk
ing machine have brassy sound, and
hence give the impression that hotel
runner is speaking.
The Kingdom of Heaven has door SO
low that all must stoop to get into it
Yonhcrs Gazette. Yes, and lots of peo-
pie are left on the stoop.-Bostoe Com.
Bulletin,
A woman's skeleton sells for more than
a mans in Philadelphia, but then it's
weak extra work to wire the iaws.-PhH-
adslphju Times.
An abandoned wretch affirms that in
engaging a wife only a ring is necessary;
but nothing short of the cash will secure
a good hired girl.
An enthusiastic Indiana editor wrote
after the convention: "The battle is now
opened, but alas ! the intelligent COM
positor spelled ''battIe with an 0, and his
readers said they had suspected it all
along.
4 popular German resident of Sag
Harbor, according to the C0Jrccto3,, said
to his friends q few days ago: "You
won't see me again next week for nine
months"
4 Mississippi Judge was just saying
that no one but a coward would carry
pistol, when his own fell from his pocket
and was discharged, and the bullet hit
lawyer in the leg.
The pity of mankind will soon be at
tracted by the root beer bottle that will
be doomed to swelter all day under the
raging sun in a vat Of warm water in front
Of the fruit stands.
The excursion boat season is coming
round, when they have to roll a dozen
hogsheads of iron Oh the right side of the
boat to balance the weight of humanity
around the bar on the left side
\ Norristown fisherman on Friday
last canght twenty seven trout, some of
them, he says, weighing over two pounds
apiece. He would have caught more,
but lie was not very good liar.
The Hapheye fears atKeely is unkind
to his family. ct least, the other day,
one Of the neighbors found Mrs. KeeIy
weeping, and, on asking what appeared
to be the trouble with her, she said that
"heely smote her."
\ Florida negro mi8took a mule for a
ghost and pol,ed it with stick The
verdict recited that he came to his death
by using too short a stick in proving the
nnknowable for evidence of future ex-
istence.
The discovery has been made that the
world does not revolve with the same mo-
tive that il did l 1,000 years ago, but it
still swings q; ouud fast enough to satisfy
the man with heavy note coming due.
\ cautious man may seek recreation in
toying with the hind hoofs OF the abrupt
mule, but only the most reckless cuss will
follow within couple of rods of the agile
young woman who kicks her train into
the air and catches it on the fly.
4 fop took seat in a railroad car be-
side young lady, but on perceiving she
had a dog he moved on with all air of tre-
pidation. Don't be afraid" she said,
with a reassuring tone; Zip won't bite
you-he doesn't like veal %
Soon the maiden and her lover
viii rub noses DER the gate;
And for flies the lodger skirnisl
In the hash upon his plate /
Eli Perkins sends the Courier Journal
this: ELI Perkins stood looking at one
of the new silver dollars, and seeing on