Daily Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1876-1884, 1878-04-25
FELo De Sc IN FUTURE.
An Incident in an Undertaker's Establish
msnt-" Place Nc in a Plain Coffin and
Express Mo to oakland"

1 IAPASoo Ahv w o"hi"A0s
About half past six o'clock last
night an American, not of African
descent, of an uncertain age, strolled
up In front of the undertaking es.
Enlistment of i. Neitzke & Co.
His general aspect was woe begone.
He had sort of resembl ance to
Priam of old when they drew his
curtains in the dead of night and
told him half his Troy was burned.
He might have passed the grand
climateric of life or lie might have
fingered little longer on the sun
ny side of it. His salient aspect
was that of an introversive man,
who, like Hamlet, comprehended
in his philosophy many things not
dreamt of in the shallow pates of
the Horatios of every day life.
Having contemplated the collins
exposed to view for some time, he
discoursed thus:
''In few days shall be no more.
Two days is my limit. When my
cold and clammy corpse is found,
don'tdo anything sumptuous. Put
me In a plain box aud forward me
to Oakland"
The jaw of Hitler, the junior
member of the firm, slightly fell at
this. The raiment of the stranger
was not on par with that of Solo.
mon in all his glory, nor yet with
that of the lilies of the field, in
Chrisps parable, who, though they
spin not and had no concern for
the morrow, exceeded the "nobbi-
ness" of Solomon's get up in
their apparel. In fact, about this
gaunt and grizzly stranger there was
but little promise of shekels, which,
ever since Abraham bought the
field of Macpeelah, have counted
for q great deal in the concerns
of every day life, with undertake
ers.
The stranger felt faint. Nav
l." said he, Ego in and sit down?''
The compassionate undertaken
thought he might.
"The cerements of the grave have
for me melancholy INTEREST,"
said this modern knight of the
sorrowful countenarce. "There,"
said he, pointing to a plain but
comfortable coffin, "there is the
very thing want"
At this stage Tom Stackpole, the
ieweler, had entered. He cast a
compassionate glance at the cadav-
erous stranger aud remarked,
-" You are expecting some of your
family TO die, sir?'
May, prithee, friend, thou mis-
takest me. Texpect to die myself.
Before two more suns have dipped
their disk in yon empurpled sea
shalt be no more. 1t shall then
be said of me, AFTER life's fitful
struggle he sleeps well.' With my
own hand shall my life know its
ending. The death.dealing bullet
shall have penetrated this brow,
and shall be an exemplification
of the poets conception that when
the brains are out the man Is dead,
and there's an end.'"
By this time Stackpole and the
undertakers had come to the con-
clusion that they were dealing
with first-class lunatic. They
drew little to one side for consul
tation. Suddenly they heard a
clicking, as of the opening of a
jack-knife with strong spring.
Hitler rushed forward to the
stranger excitedly, expecting to
see his ensanguined corpse. The
stranger had simply taken his
jack-knife from his hip pocket,
opened and shut it and placed it in
his vest pocket. He was still sit |
ting on the bench, contemplating
the collins, with the grim and sur-
donic interest with which Timon
may be supposed to have contem.
plated the waves that lashed the
shores of Attica, in the "brave
days of DID,"
Ernest Neitzke by this time had
put in an appearance. He proved
equal to the emergency, compre-
bending the situation at a glance.
"My friend" said this sagacious
Teuton, "come with me. | have
studied medicine for eight years.
l know what is good for you. A
drink will reach the right spot.n
There was a gladstone CLEAN in
the strangers eye which showed
that there was method in his mad
ness. He meealy arose and fol-
lowed Neitzke down to Pearson's.
With tolerably steady hand he
drained the beaker to the dregs and
looked gratitude he felt he was
unable to adequately express.
"Have cigar" said Neilzke.
"Thanks, gentle stranger, thanks.
But do | not tresspass on your gen.
erosity?"
mot a whit" said the genial
undertaken unspeakably relieved
at not having to put his interlocu.
tor in plain box aud express him
to Oakland.
The melancholy man reached for
a clear Havana. He drew puff or
two, heaved half contented sigh,
and remarked:
"This world is not all q feeting
show. Some good may come out
of Nazareth. When do die place
me in plain box and express me
to Oakland"