River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1878-07-25
FOoIing the Wrong Passenger.


When Whacker, ''the magician last
visited our land, he found no greater ad-
inirer than Job Penny packer.
Job himself had dabhled, in an anna
teur manner, in legerdemain; had made
many shillings disappear through tables
and reappear at the cry, Presto, changen'
conld make six balls fly about in the air
with the ease Of an Indian juggler, and,
even while bobbing about, vanish, to be
found in the pockets of innocent bystand-
erS.
And Mr.. Whacker's mysterious per-
formances were viewed by him with the
sympathizing pleasure Of n brother ar
fist.
The "egg trick" which was, ia brief, a
seemingly inexplicable power of taking
eggs out of anything, in any number and
III der any circumstances, particularly
charmed him; and, seeking audience
with Mr. Whacker he persuaded him to
teach him the wonderful art, and soon
found himself capable of delighting and
astonishing his acquaintance.
He took eggs out of his grandfather's
HAT and his mothers workbasket, accused
the postman of having brought him a
dozen in a letter, and proved it ON the
spot.
And once or twice he played the old
stock trick of .he magician upon some
market-woman by buying eggs of her,
which he broke in her presence, taking
from the shell not yolk but half
crown, and 80 setting her to smashing
her whole stock, believing it to be the
production of the veritlble fairy hen who
laid the golden eggs. a
But even wonder trick loses its
charm when it has been played on one a
hundred times.
Therefore, that the time and money
which he had spent on the acquisition of
the trick might not be wasted, Mr.. Pen
nypacker turned his attention to the pub
lie, and upon the occasion of journey
practiced upon guards, porters and fell
passengers to an astonishing extent.
1t was upon a certain railroad that lie
last came upon as tempting an oppor-
tunity as he had ever been offered him.
Opposite him rode an elderly woman,
with basket full of provisions, radishes.
turnips, lettuce and new-laid eggs, and
near her sat a stupid-looking young man,
with his mouth wide open, his eyes al
most shut. and both hands plunged into
the pockets of q coat several sizes too
large for him
Mr.. Job Pennypacker chuckeled. Now
he would play magician on a larger
scale than ever before.
He would begin mildly, aud then the
"plot" should "thicken' as he went on.
Accordingly he stopped, apparently
picked up an egg from the floor, which
he handed to the old lady. with an in
different Here, ma'am, you've dropped
this out of your basket
.Thank We, I'm sure" said the woman,
and settled the egg CO. fortabIy amongst
its fellows.
In moment more, however, Mr.. Pen
stopped again.
II must say, madame" he said little
sharply that you are very careless with
such brittle things as eggs. Here are
three more on the floor
II can't understands cried the old
lady. Why, there must be d hole in the
basket. Why, thank yoI. | wonder
they aren't smashed"
But there was no hole In the basket,
and finally the old lady decided that
there was "no accounting for them eggs
getting out, and thrust them carefully
under the lettuce and radishes.
By this time the attention of all the
other passengers was aroused, and now
was the moment tor the final effort.
1.-THE most singular thing ever heard
Of" said Job. "Ah, ali! understand it
now; Don't you feel ashamed of your
self. srg'' and he frowned and nodded at
the stupid young man with the big coat,
who scowled at him in return.
II ashamed2 haven't done nothin'," "
cried the young man Indignantly.
DO YOU call it nothing to rob this old
lady of her eggs?" cried Job, with an air
If virtuous disgust. "You have done
nothing else since you entered the car
rage; and you nave dozen in your
pocket at this moment!'
sYou'r telling lies" cried the young
man. What do I want with raw eggsa
You'd better search me, and see whether
I've got any eggs on me or no.
II will then, SIR" said Job, land call
on nv fellow passengers to be my WIT
ness. All! / thought SO! Two eggs in
your vest pocket. Here. madam. What!
two more in the pockets Of your trousers
Take them. madam, take them; and
bless me! his coat pockets are full of
them! "Here, hand them over to the
LADY. some one. One--two three
ten dozen r.
aHe ought to be ashamed of himselfF'
cried one of the passengers.
Its perfectly dreadtulf' exclaimed
ano- her-a woman.
Il feel the cold chills all over me
when think Of it." sobbed the old lady.
@Put him outn' yelled a chorus. I'VE
don't want thieves here,' @
II haven't taken solitary egg" said
the young man, evidently trembling
This here fellow is devil-thats what
he is. Well, find more eggs IN my
pocket, will youl"
mo more in yoiir pockets, friend,
said Mr.. Penny packer; shut IN your hat.
All. alb! | thought sou
He snatched of the soft hat and looked
into it with a stern eye, began to take
from it one egg after another, Whlle the
ola lady 5 astonishment and the indigna-
lion of the other passengers grew greater
and greater.
Just at this instant the whistle shTlek-
ed. and tbs train slowly came to stand
still at Barkinton.
II amt goin' to stand this no more I
yelled Pennypacker's victim. LET re
1.- And wrencbing himself from tfe
amature magician's grasp he rushed from
the car, sprang to the ground, and was
seen to dart up the road at tremendous
rate only pausing on the platform Tor
moment to pick up bis hat, which his
tormentor threw out OF the window aIteT
him.