The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1878-06-28

my father. L loved no one else--no doubt
should be very happy. / sat down on the
edge of the bed and leaned my head upon
my hand. Unaccustomed to dream, at that
moment an involuntary dream rose be-
fore rby Imagination. Instead ofthis strange
compact, the wooing of youthful lover
instead of mere consent on my part, the de-
licious hopes, the rich fruition of conscious
active passon. Might ! not have been thus
If beauty won love, | was fair enough ;if
freshness and strength of heart were needed,
how mine throbbed under the ideal bliss
The sound of Mr. Lacy's voice recalled me
to sense Of my duty to him it was wrong
to dream of such girlish possibilities now.
He N?7 going away, and my father had
accompanied him to the head of the stair
case. | supposed he had asked him if he |
would not wish 10 bid me good. night, for | |
heard him answer: NO she would not
wish to be dsturbed-I fear to weary her.
God forgive me i'll am acting a selfish part!
| rose up resoutely ; no more such weakness
as that of the last hour; he was worthy of
womans love and honor, and | would give
1t. The next two months passed in state
OF tranquil happiness. IT manly delicate
and minute attentions could win heart,
mine would have been won, and thought
1t was and repOsed on the idea.
Mr. Lacy made no attempt to prevent my
plunge into the gay world, postponed for a
while by the late strange incidents. Now
and then he would go with me to ball or
opera, but it was in the character of protec-
tor or inspector, not as participant and felt
! his presence restraint. / strove TO bear al
ways in mind that | was his afiianced wife :;
but was only IS, ardent in temperament
| with high animal spirits, very much courted
and admired, and / did enter with keen
zest inro the pleasures Of life. His grave
smile, in the height of my enjoyment, used
to fall like n weight on my heart.
He himself, holding an important and in
fiuential position in the world, was full of
earnest schemes of pra stical benevoeuce, of
professional reform. He seemed to think
labor and write mainly with an eye to other
mems interests. and tho 2 in their highest
me of these things and excite my moral en-
thusiasm, and while | listened he carried
heart and conviction with him, and felt a
call to such cooperation an honor in which
sacrifice csuld have no part. Then his look
of intense affection and happiness, as he
kissed the cheek to which his words bad
brought so deep glow, stirred my soul and
left no doubt on my mind that I loved
him.
At the end of two months Mr. Lacy lef
me to attend summons to his fathers death
bed. He expressed no fears as to the resu
of this separation, though l perceived {
deep secret anxiety. | shared it. | had s
morbid dread of the effect of his absence.
Don't leave me!' c,ied, cinging weep
ing to his arm. L am afraid of myself
afraid of becoming unworthy of you
r How, Mildred p was his answer. IF you
mean you will forget me, or discover you art
mistaken in thinking you love me, it will
) save Us both lifelong misery-me, at least
a lifelong remolse
For week or Two al er he lett me l hard
ly went into society, but my father and
friends laughed al my play ng the widow, a.
r they called it, aud | soon resumed my form
, er gayeles, with, howeve', a certain re.
r -traint and mode alton which | felt due tC
Mr.. Lacy.
l At length the temptation beset me OF
r which | seemed 20 have vague present.
| > ba q, Of Mr | 90,
offer, and il bee, me under its most insidi
, Gus form. Ny be's sister and nephew
5 came 10 pay us lolg-,alked of visit anC
} even before they we'd had be un TO tor
lure myself wit doubts as to the issue o
this ine course. As cn'ldren Frauk Ingram
l and bad speut balf our ume together, anC
= as children bad piedeed ourselves 10 eacl
other. Five veals had passed since we haC
} met, for he bad beeu sud ing medicln,
abroad, but an unb'oken, though scant,
2 correspond cce had always been kept up be
, tween the two families. Frank had been m,
e ideal as a child. If iouod him still sol
I | were free to love him iii, when he cam
] he brought with bin that future abou
. There was something morbid in this sta,e o
= mind, but the idea had fastened upon me
}, and could rot shake it OIL. My very sell
4 lnistrust was Il snare.
J., My aunt and cousin duly arrived and o
+, Frank | must speak the ruth even if | al
$ accused of a wish to justify myself Ever
charm Il young mad could have | think h
: possessed | say nothing of his persona
2 beauty or his ingeoious graces of manner
$ | could have withsiood these, though ha
very keeu appreciation of them. But h
! was as full of disin,erested. .ardor in his pre-
a fession as Mr. Lacy ia his; had the sam
< deep desire 10 be of use in his generation
$ only he unfolded them with such a winnin
self mistrust as ifhe doUb,ed his worlhines
| for the high vocation of benevolence unit
' he warmed into enthusiasm, and then th
| passion of his speech, the vely extravagauc
t of his youthfdl hopes thrilled me with
t power far beyond the reasoned wisdom c
I Mr.. Lacy's enterprises. Obi | longed t
join hands with him in his life journey, an
: lend my aid to ,be working out of his Utopi
1 with a fever of deslle never known before.
Lesser things lent Their aid. He was
, fine musician aod al enthusiast in the ar
We pIacticed constantly together. HI
taught me to play and sing The German CON
positions he had introduced to me. / do no
: wish to dwell on details; but who does no
know how subtle medium of love kindre
pursuit and enjoyment of music is?-an
! Mr.. Lacy never cared for music. The
again he was my perpetual companion. A
, breakfast his clear eyes and welcoming voic
opened itbe day, and after its long hours G
delightful intercourse his ,haod was the las
; clasped at night. No attempt was made t.
, put any restraint upon this dangerous com
panionship My father looked upon us as