The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1878-09-14


mean thing" she calculated, while rubbing
the bitten spot And the SUBJECT was unceTe-
moniously dropped.
A young and pretty girl stepped into II shop
where spruce young man, who had long
been enamorcd, but dared not speak, stood be
hind the counter selling drapery. In order to
remain as long as possible she chcapcned
everything. and at last she said II believe you
think am cheating you" "Oh no, sad me
youngster; to me you are always fair "Well,"
whispered the lady, blushing, as she laid an
emphasis on the word, Il would not stay so
long bargaining If you were not so dear"
Many many years ago a gentleman called
on Mr. Uoby, then the most fashionable, most
eytravagant, most hourShng Of bOotmakers.
81 bought Il pair of straps here last week, y said
he, "and think they turned ont shametuly; |
will never buy another pair OF straps IN lhls
Shop put up the shutters, John" said Mr..
IIoby, turning to one of his men, its no good
our going on with the business; this gentle
man will never buy another pair of slXpenny
straps here. "-LoHd0H Word.
There was little fellow who knew Mother
Goose better than he knew his bible, One
Sunday he was asked in his class, "Who were
thrown into the fiery furnace?" That was
too much for him. The question was passed;
The answer came promptiv. "Shadrach, Mes
bach. and Abcdncgc." This was mortified
ton to the little fellow; and when the next
question came, "Who put them n?' he an
swered with jump, Little johnny Grecn''
The lady was leaning on the arm of an ele
rant and wealthy vounr man and leading her
iit,Ie danrhtrr Inv the hand, whcn suddenly
,ho oh;ld cr;cd
ooh ma mn look there, See that gentle
man thot,s nassinr. Don't Won know him?
"Nno nv child"
faints)
-->'r---
"Why does lightning so rarely strike twice
in the same place." Prot. Workman asked the
new boy IN the class IN narural Philosophy
Ana it is little singular that nobody had
thought OF that bciore-Hd"heye.
--------
We met a farmer 4 day or two ago, who was
so hard pushed that he was on his way to
pawn his hoe. We told HIM we were sorry 10
claimed, Tar from H. lou Know ''ic 0lu nIo'-
to, lloc-paWn, nope ever II 0"t'S "'|e''''
--''--
"YOu see my dear he explained, THE man
was climbing the ladder with "A hodtul OF NOR
he slipped. and the whole contents Of the hOd
came down on my head How ridiculous
you must have looked" she replied. "On the
contarv, my dear, was sublime"
II now offer you RubenS," said an auc-
tioneer-"a perfect gem Of gcnius-perhaps
thn that
tcr.hand" There was no bid. The aucllonccr
passed the Rubens, and, taking mp another PIC,
ture. said: Very well, gentlemen, now OF
fer YOU Rembrandt by the same artist"
Botanical old gent lin the Brighten gardens)
-"Can YOU tell me, my good man, il this plant
Ccnrtly1-"No, sir il don't /, belongs to the
Corn6rat,onr'
--ss-------
Counsel had been questioning certain wit.
ness named Gum. and, I'm closing, he said to
;,,I,ro an tho hnpch srt,iner the nm rravelv
SodJed sir Won ~, t}rsrhorped" Ofroursc.
an exn,osinn in cnp,r immediately ensued.
-. .,,...,,. i.,,;,,,, ,,ri,.,.,, ~ ,r.p,le
man long stage curing sTIn' VI '",m AN, ~,
80, l,o,, ,II,t l.
yer! WEI; -NIl"l WV" w. J,,. =,
ing "e'' ou' 'PI"Sc yer lo"o'' III Wy
An ir,sni,ii aCcos ,,. aenn.t Tho time
street la.e az nlsn', VIZ. ,S", d., ,,sboJ n
me gel,'lelIla,I' suS '", a,, or
silch 'iie ma'ch, saNe nun ..ItIns ~, trpc
rne ose ts M - :, ra,nr,o1 pat I'm Glad
luiuh IN ye% I'LL h"ui "So'
.,..,,.;o
gu see saiu phESlclail W uy "a,
VINO laa Calleu Oh nm iUr auioG Nv su t. Jo
take suIhcieiil eNeIOise' lou ''r w. ',,
oCcupa,ioh me SSCian WAS in,t.rr,r
wren .lle man iell,eu. W o''ii &" ''''''
rlcl ior over "o@e" c"is'