The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1878-10-16
Axs-slY.

an S-SAY.
Shrewd Simon Short sewed shoes seventeen
Summers. Speeding storms, spreading sun
shine, successfully saw Simon's self-same
squeaking sign still swinging, silently speci-
flying, Simon Short, Smithfield's sole sur
viving shoemaker, soles sewed solid super
finely" Simon's spry, sedulous spouse, Sal
" Short sewed shirts stitched sheets, stuffed
sofas. Simon's six sturdy sons--Seth, Sam
uel, Stephen, Saul, Silas Shadracl- sold sun
dries. Sober Seth sold sugar. starch, spices.
Simple Sam sold saddles. stirrups, scrsws.---
Sagacious Stephen sold silks, satins shawls.--
Skeptical Saul sold silver salvers. Selfish
Shadrack sold shoe-strings, soap, saws, skates.
Slack Silas sold shirt-stuff.
Some seven summers since, Simon's second
son, Samuel, saw Sophia Sophronia spriggs
somewhere-sweet, sensible, smart Sophia
! Scphronia Spriggs. Sam showed strange
symptoms. Sam seldom stayed storing, SELL
ing saddles. Sam sighed sorrowfully, sought
Sophia Sophronia's society, sang several sere-
nades slyly. Simon stormed, scoldcd severe
ly, said Sam seemed SO silly, singing such
shameful, senseless songs. Strange, Sam
should slight such splendid sales. Struttng
spendthrift Shatterbrained simpleton F"
"Softly, softly, sire,' said Sally, SAM
smitten !; Sans spied some sweetheart"
Sentimental SOCIOLOGY" snarled Simon.
"Smitten ! Stop such stuff Simon sent
Sally's snuff-box spinning, seized Sally's spec
tacles, scattering several spools. " Sneakng
scoundrel Sans shocking Stiffness shall
soon surcease."
Scrowling Simon stopped speaking. started
swiftly shopward. Sally sighed sadly sum-
moning Sam, spoke sweet sympathy.
Sam," said she, "Sire seems sngularly
snappy so, sonny, stop strolling streets, stop
strolling streets, stop smoking segars, spend
ing specie superfiuously, stop sprucing so, stop
sprucing so, stop singing serenades, stop
short sell saddles sell saddles sensibly see
Sophia Sophronia Sprggs soon she's spright-
| ly, she's stable ; SO solicit, so secure Sophia
speedily, san."
So soon SO soon ?'' said Sam, standing
stock still
So soon, surely" said Sally, smiling,
Specially since Sire shows such spirit"
So Sam, somewhat scared, sauntered slow
ly, shaking stupendously. Sam soliloquizes :
| ".Sophia Sophronia Short sounds splendidly !;
suppose she should say, she shant she
shan't I"
Soon Sam spicd Sophia starching shirts,
singing softly. Seeing Sam, she stopped
starching, saluting Sam smilingly. Sam
stammered shocSingly, Spl-spl-splendid
Summer season, Sophia"
"Somewbat sultry," suggested Sophia.
Sar-sartain, Sophia" said Sam. (Sil-
ence seventeen seconds.)
"Selling saddles still, Sam {"
Sar-sartain, " said Sam, starting sudden
ly. Seasons somewhat sudorifc," said
Sam, stealthily staunching, steaming sweat,
shaking sensibly.
s. Sartain," said Sophia, smiling significant
ly. "Sip some sweet Bherbet, Sanl.u (Sil-
ence sixty-six seconds.) " Sire shot sixty
shelldrakes, Saturday" said Sophia.
Sixty--sh---l" said Sam. (Silence seven
ty-seven seconds.)
I" See sister Susan's sunfowers," said So
phia, specially silencing such stiff silence.
Sophia's sprightly sauciness stimulated Sam
strangely SO Sam suddenly spoke sentiment
tally
Sophia, Susan's sunfowers seem saying,
Samuel Short, Sophia sophronia Spriggs,
stroll serenely, seek some sequestered spot,
some sylvan shade sparkling springs shall
sing some stirring strains, sweet songsters
shall silence secret sighings, super-angelic
sylphs shall -
Sophia snickered so Sam stopped.
Sophia, said Sam, solemnly.
SAM" said Sophia.
"Sophia. stop smiling. Sam Shorts sin.
cere /; Sans seeking some sweet Spouse
Sophia stood silent.
"Speak, Sophia, speak such suspense
speculates SORROW"
Seek Sire, Sam seek Sire.'
So Sam sought Sire Spriggs.
Sire Sprggs said, "Sartin.''
->--4~s->
TOUCHING INCIDENT of the saddest