The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1878-10-24
Miscellaneo eous.

young man fell in love with female
bartender just before he admired her
ryes.
There is but one piano in the island of
Cyprus. No wonder England was anx-
ious to gobble up such a paradise.
A printer asked young lady whom he
thought spoke too rapidly: What do
you hair-space every thing you say for p
The list of those who love the watch
dogs honest bark will never be complete
until the closely clinging flea is eluded.
A woman cannot put on any side sad
die style when she goes in swimming
She has either got to kick out like man
or get drowned
There is nothing in art that can coun-
terfeit the expression on the face OF a
man who has a raspberry seed under the
plate of his false teeth.
A lady traveller says that she never
finds newspaper or clock in the ladies
parlor of hotel, but she always finds a
mirror.
There may be more pleasure in giving
than receiving, but we never had sufh
cient experience in either to distinguish
the different grades of satisfaction.
When an artist climbs over fence to
get a nearer view of handsome bull dog
he must take the chances of his sketch
ing the dog, or the dogs ketching him.
YES" said an Irish gentleman at Long
Branch, "that lady is very disagreeable
at the table If lived in the same house
with her she'd be the only one in it,
can tell you.
Kearney says his movement" will
come upon the country like thief in
mate that he is not especially happy in
his comparisons.
do not marry widower." said the
old lady. "A ready-made family is like
a plate of cold potatoes" "Oh, I'll soon
warm them over" replied the damsel,
and she did.
1t takes about 100000 to start first
class lead pencil factory, yet we never
think of it when we borrow a mans pen
Gil.
Dwellers along the seacoast are not
famous for their skill in photography,
Notwithstanding their having so much
shore-tanned experience.
The man who can hum a hymn while
joining stove pipe is good enough to walk
right into full membership OF any church,
without probation.
Before marriage a man is generally
greeted by his sweetheart with MY dar-
ling, is it your But after marriage she
generally rushes to the door and shouts,
"John Henry, wipe your boots.
In Italy 100000 people can't write.
But they can play hand organ, and this
is a talent in which to succeed and en-
bark, for the United States doesn't re-
quIre knowledge of penmanship
A careful estimate shows that the num-
ber of "Colonels' in the South is exactly
the same as the number of authors of
beautiful Snow" in the North. We
thought there were more of the latter
The post office department has ruled
that husband has no control over the
correspondence of his wife. But this de-
cision will not prevent a man from car
rying his wife's letter around in his in
side coat pocket three weeks before mail
ing it.
An insane man IN New haven oelleVlhg
some one was trying to pour alcohol down
his throat sought the protection of the
police. claiming that he was a British
subject. British subjects are deadly op
posed TO having alcohol poured down
their throats-when insane.
Come, now, the world is growing bet
ter. A Danbury family was furnished
with provisions by the town on Monday
On the Wednesday following they went
to picnic, at the cost of fifty cents each
There were five of them, making cost
of $3.50; but they furnished it them
selves, not asking the town for single
penny.