The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1878-11-05
NUMBER 1870.
MISCELLANY.

Woman's writes-Postscrips.
A Vassar girls oath-Buy gum.
Parrot talk-A mono-polly-logue.
4 que.cumber-The heather Chi.
nee.
Vested interest--Money in the waist
coat pocket.
All men are not homeless, but some
are home less than others.
The miser who boarded his money in
a vase said he did il because he be-
lieved ia the saying urn your mon
~ before you spend it.
II is darkest Just before day, but
Samb0 says that is the very time when
u chicken is the widest awake. Cincin-
natl Breakfast table.
Kansas has q Limburger cheese fac
tory, and case Of yellow fever can't
get within ten miles of the State. The
victory Is always to the strong.
Don't worry about my going away.
my darling. Absence, you know,
makes the heart grow fonder." "Of
somebody else, added the darling.
Some wretch has the audacity to re-
mark that the ladies deck their hats
with flowers in memory of the men who
have been killed by milliners' bills.
"5pell love-" said a young man to
bis girl one night. "Y-o-u-," she tim
inlv essayed. The courtship had been
a prOtracted one, but they are married
nog.
4 correspondent wants to know what
lying in state means. ALI yes we'll,
there are two kind. One is when q
great man dies, and the other is when
a grs at man hes.
The paragraphists have discovered the
best method OF heating street-car.
Garry woman half block further
than she wants TO go. 1t will be hot
enough.
Dearest" 7" he murmured, estatically,
as be folded her IN his arms for the
first time, 'let me sample the nectar Of
Your lips. Take II whole schooner OF
IL, she ;liuily whispered Its all on
tap. - Newark Call.
Nasty Generalization. Mamma
We q better go IN, darling it threat
ems 90 rain" Harry-"Oh, then, il
Won {. Mlmma-"Why?' Harry
Papa always threatens To yip me, but
he never does"
who'll be the last man on esrth?"
is the sudden inquiry by Boston pa.
per. Well, If no one else will accept
III cur country calls-if-but you
probably see the Drift Detroit Free
Press.
An American traveller III Galway saw
pig IN "A peasants house, and he said:
why do YOU have pig in there?'
"ShUEe, said he of Galway, "ths
house has oil the convsynances that q
q raysouable pig requoires. London
Times.
Did the prophet Isaiah ever eat at a
railroad station? 1t certainly looks so,
for how could he have described it so
literally II he had not: "And he shall
snatch on the right hand and be hun
Iry; and he shall eat on the left hard,
and shall not be satisfied"
Ink can be preserve from mold by
putting Glove in the bottle" When
iIr-. Spriggins, wife Of Sprigging Of
tie " ming Awaken, r, read the above.
she cried excitedly, "Therel now 1
know what Mr.. 5. alv as carries cloves
IN his vest pocket for.
Great men are said to bee so by
aiming high aud wasting no time on
small things, bat although a man may
be way up il the hay loft of fame. there
are times, generally just before a rain,
when he tenderly remembers the first
little corn he ever had. Breakfast
Table.
The time will come when You won't
have 10 leave your seat at the theater
between acts to go out and "see 9
man." Edison is experimenting on
waves of light sent through the tele-
phone, and says that before a year I
will make you see a man 200 miles
away. Cincinnati Saturday Night.
Now villain, come with me before
the Judgment seat Of Heavenl" cries
the hero of play by NJ. Dugne, Of
Paris. as he hurls the heavy villain in
o. the car of balloon, cuts the rope
aud eeins a duel with him with bowie
knives as they shot upward to the
skies.