Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1878-08-28
Bulger Pays his Taxes and Makes
Prognostication.

Bulger went down ON Saturday to
pay his delinquent tax, Bulger said !:
'I will 20 voluntarily and be swim
died out of some money"
Then he went down to Smithfield
street and up into Tom Phelps gorgeous
headquarters like a man in a dream.
He saw gilded walls and clerks with
jewelry and books bound in gilt. He
saw chandeliers and Brussels carpet
and oiled walnut furniture. Bulger
said to himself:
"This whole business is veneer
ing;" then he reflected and said, land
/ help to pay for it," and then lac re-
fiected again and stated, ''because |
can't help it,
clothes for his pocket book. 1t looked
as though it had been subjected to a
pressure of Il, 300 pounds to the square
inch, it was so fiat.
ger had, and Bulger leaned over the
counter and said:
"Where is that whole-souled philan-
thropist whose big heart suffers n pang
every time he is necessitated, by II
stern fate, to collect taxes from poor
man?
Where is that distinguished person
who has inaugurated, according to re-
oil llnnnr .alan NgharAhv
a man may pay his taxes In fragments?
Where is that gentle youth who is SO
kind that he would rather see a wash
woman damned than see her sold out
for taxes! | think his name is Tom
Phelps"
Then a young man with gilt sleeve
buttons arose and said to Bulger:
"What do you want?"
81 am in the delinquent list," said
Bulger.
81 apprehend that before long the
Jail will be uncomfortably crow ded,
and would rather not 20 there. You
may regard me, if you please, as will
ing victim. will pay up; have the
remnant of my fortune here i'll this
pocket book"
The young man opened ponderous
volume, and after some eogitation said:
"Five dollars and two cents for water
tax and ten dollars for advertising;
total, fifteen dollars ami two cents"
Bulger leaned his elbows on the coUn-
ter and said: Two cents being about
what ought to pay, presume the tf-
teen dollars goes TO the poor.
"Perhaps," said the clerk, dreamily.
"Shall 1 make you out a receipt"
"YOu SHALL" said Bulger, land l
would like to borrow a microscope, if
you have one, in order to ascertain if
there is anything left, in my pocket
book"
"we have none," said the young
man.
"Never mind" remarked Bulger,
cheerfully, ''if there's anything there,
my wife will lind it; but say, don't you
think il would have been cheaper for
you fellows to have bought Bullock
press ard done your own printing!"
at makes no difference TO us what it
COSTS" returned the young man.
81 had not thought of that, exclaim-
ed Bulger, shifting his brow. "Singu-
lar, did not think of that. When
come to think of it, zoe, the people,
have to pay for the printing"
Exactly" said the young man, with
a sweet smile.
"Well, now," said Bulger, 'here's a
funny thing. You don't have to pay
fer IL, and it makes 10 difference to Hs
what it costs. See?"
81 can't say l do" remarked the
young man, with troubled expression.
81 am sory," said Bulger. "It's a
remarkable thing, and if you could put
yourself in my place you would see it
in half a minute" and then Bulger put
his receipt into his empty pocket6oOk
and placed his empty pocketbook in his
empty pocket, and remarked to the young
man, "God bless you," and went out.
When he got half way down the stairs
thought struck BuIger and he came
back.
"Hi," said he to the young man.
"Well," said the young man.
"We have some nice legislators now,"
said Bulger.
''There are some fine gentlemen in
the legislature" answered the young
man.
There are a good many fine ones
there" said Bulger.
Yes"
"But they'll never go back there any |
more" said Bulger.
''NO?" inquired the young man.
NO." returned Bulger, ''never, no
more in this world" And then Bulger |
went away from the gilt and the glitter |
and the veneer, to try to borrow enough |
money TO buy ham and sack of -four.