Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1878-08-28

BiQotry never dies.-Ex. Isit q
circus joke2
"Fat men are easily sun-struck ;"
Moral: don't be fat man.
Even truth has been slandered, and
accused Of lying at the bottom OF .
we'll.
Eve hath not seen sadder sight
than a bald-headed man in . wet
bathing suit.
The Chinese have q sure way Of
removing dsndruff. They dot with
ajack. plane.
ut can't be proved that Adam
and Eve ever washed" said the
tramp, "and why should IT.
The approach Of stump-speaking
season does not seem to raise the price
Of old eggs. I. ought to do so.
A man never gets on the right OF
knowledge until he finds out that he
don't know enough to brag about.
A good deal can be said on both
aides. A man died in st. Louis last
week from the effects of taking a
bath.
The hot weather and remorse has
driven Bob Ingersoll from the
country. But he goes to the land OF
Burns.
If YOU want to send any body to
the penitentiary for five years IN
New Hampshire, swear that ne is
tramp.
Howard is flying after the Indians,
and the Indians are flying after How
ard. The great American circus,
you seel
Our baseball club is coming home
from its summer campaign, weary
with its arduous labors, but not VIC
tOrious.
Bayard Taylor is homesick. Mil
waukee schooners for five cents, in
all the American cities, is what is
hurting him.
Mr.. Bryant made less than five
dollars on the first edition of his po-
ems. This information should be
widely scattered.
Martin Morgan, of Covington, chal-
lenges any one to compete with him
in fasting. Will the Methodist
preachers stand thisa
The shah Of Persia seems to carry
around the stomach of a healthy
man. He was charged $3.50 day
st the Grand Hotel in Paris,
A woman believes that the world
was intended to move whether it
does OF not. Her husband turns q
crank to propel the sewing machine.
Jeff. Davis has taken new lease
on life, and will outlive a few more
generations. Even the Old Boy IS
afraid to touch the great irreconcii-
able.
Twas an ingenious and enthuas-
tic revivalist who proposed camp
meetings at summer resorts. There
he caught the devil on his own
ground.
Sea serpents of very gigantic size
are being seen on various sections OF
the Atlantic coast. Beer at five cents
a glass accounts for the phenomenon,
doubtless.
The map publishers have given
up in despair. They cannot keep
up with the changes of State lines
in Europe. We have no map as yet
of the new divisions on the CONT
nent.
There has been . fresh outbreak
of natives at Acheen. Dutch troops
attacked and captured q strong po-
sition with . loss to the natives OF
six hundred and eighty, and to the
Dutch OF fifty-six.
A very old law among the jews
required the beard to be removed
from the face by rubbing with pun
ice stone. The operation was tedious
and painful, of course, but it carried
with it the boon Of silence.
It takes q keener perception of
wise expedients and a more adroit
tact to collect five dollars in present
times without wearing out seven dol
lars worth of shoe leather, than it
formerly required to run the govern
ment.
A report was in circulation on
Thursday night that Prince Bis
marck had been assassinated, which
turned out . hoax. The Socialists
are charged with circulating the re-
port, and having prepared for and
-. .s,~cx.S xho ooso acs n afiOn