The Hickman courier., 1878-06-14

liz bAlu5 piDNa man. "Ay - ~~'--
ually groauing over the wickedness Of tho
world, Is more troubled with dyspepsia
than blessed with religion.
What is the difference between me
and st. Paul 2' asked one man Of another
st. Paul was all things to all men, and
you are nothing TO anybody" was the
reply That wasn't the right answer.
.Talleyrand was lame, Madame de
stael wac cross-eyed. There was 10 love
lost between them, and both disliksd 70
be reminded OF their infrmities. "Mon-
sieur," said Madame meeting her dear
est foe one day, q" how Is that poor legf'
&" Crooked, ss you see" was Talleyrand's
reply.
Says GATH: Since the death Of
Henry Clay, the most distinguished
citizen OF Kentucky has always been q
horse At present it is Ten Brock. II
a Kentuckian could breed horse that
could win the English Derby, they
would make the owner governor against
all comers.
Moonligh ght.-Leaning on his arm
with her head almost touching his shoul-
der, she said: " SIR. B., I know what
makes you catch cold soeaaiig.'' % What
isit,-?o "Because 50 much Of your
body is on the ground" Mr.. B. has
returned to the bosom Of 80, and has
ordered new shoes.
Mrs. Morrissey says Of her husband,
Why, he never lost his temper. IN
/ the house q child could twist him around
It's finger" Gentlemen who we're tool
ish enough 10 pound the late Mr.. Nor
rissey s fsts with their faces ont Of doors,
viii regret that this important informa-
ton comes TOO late 20 10 them any good.
--[Burlington Hawkeye.
It was the proprietor Of m Ameri-
can lunch counter who said, q" care nst
who makes the laws Of the country il ]
may make It's sandwiches" And he
I finished hainmering out the bottom Of
one, welded tie upper crust down 20 it,
brazed the edges, tempered it, and laid
it in the sun, aud flled out blank burial
permit while he waited for the next
customer.
..stutterers are compelled to take life
easily whether they VIII or no. Two
men thus afflicted were at work a. a
forge. The iron was red-hot and placed
on the anvil, VIXEN the first one said,
" John, s-s.strike f. ha-h-s-hard." The
other answered, Jim, wh~wh-where
sh-sh-shall / hit?" No m-m-matter
now, its co-co-cold," was the reply, and
the bar was put into the forge again.
Girls" said q worthy old lady 20
/ her grand daughter, " whenever a fellow
pops the question don't blush and stare at
your foot just throw your arms around
his neck, look him fun in the face and
l.eommence talking about the furniture.
FYoung fellows are mighty nervous some-
y times. Host several good chances befoio
/ l caught your fond, dear grandfather by
putting on airs, but learned how TO do
7 it after awhile"
Why, indeed, should we ever with
out necessity try 70 pack our sympathy
into anything SO narrow and imperfect
a. language? A silent responsiveness, a
diaused and respectful tenderness 0f
manner, is more gratifying, As well a.
safer, in nine cases out of ten, than any
attempt to express sympathy in words.
But words will come and must be spoken.
Only ia case Of any delicacy, the fewer,
the simpler, and the less personal they
are, the safer-Te viii not cay the better.
Barnum's portrait is painted on a
part Of his cages. When his show was
in Hartford the other day, an honest
minded chap was looking about the
camp rs the worknen were packing up.
Seeing Barnum's full face on the side of
the cage Of the stuffed hippopotamus, he
ssked the man in charge if Banum was
in there. " Yes" was the reply, and the
door was partly opened. The stranger
peeked in and exclaimed. Oh, law Is
that him? He is fatter than / supposed,
and is of darker color" The door was
shut suddenly Hartford Times.
Johnny composition on the sheriff :;
20 A man which was the sheriff Of a Jail
his prisoners KEEP a gettin out mites and
steelin hens, cos the jail wasent strong
enough Tor 70 hold EN- in side. So the
man he said, the man did: lie put p
stop to that game, my harty'sP And he
had anothar coat OF paint put on the
Jail. But the artist ne had put some
salt into the paints, and the. COWS came
along and licked the paint ol of, and then
the prisoners got out an other time and
sseeled moro hens. When the sheriff he
seen what they had done he was angry he
said This amt 10 place for theeis you
bet 80 you fellars has either got to
behave yourselfs or lite cut, and hussle
round for 10 get back the best way you
I