Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-10-02
THE PARSONS HORSE RACE.

l.
discouraged, cOntemplative attitude in
front of an equally MISUNDERSTANDING
horse, that had just been brought to him
by the widow Simpkins for medical
treatment. Among Sans many &C
complishments he was reckoned in the
neighbOrhOod an oracle In all matters
of this kind, especially by women
whose helplessness in meeting such
emergencies found unfailing solace
under his compassionate willingness to
attend to any business that
did not strictly belong to HIM, and from
which no pecunialy return was to be
expected.
The widow Simpkins had bought
this horse Of Deacon Atkins, apparent
ly fairly well-appointed brute. and
capable as he was good-lOoking. A
short, easy drive when the deacon held
the reins had shown off his points to
advantage, and the widows small stock
Of ready savings had come forth freely
IN payment for what she thought was a
bargain. When, soon after coming in
to possession, she discovered that her
horse, if driven with any haste, painted
IN a fearful manner, and that he APP
peared to be growing lame, she waxed
Wroth, and went to the deacon in anger,
to be met only with the smooth re-
minder that the animal was all right
when she took him,-that she had
seen him tried herself. The widow was
of nature somewhat spicy, and ex-
pressed herself warmly: Its cheat
and shame, and I'll take the law on
ye."
What law viii you take?" said the
unmoved deacon. "Was Mt it a fair
bargain %
':I'll take the law of God" said the
widow, with impotent indignation, and
she departed to pour her cares and
trials into the ever ready ear of Sam.
Having assumed the care of the ami
NAL, he now sat contemplating it in a
sort of trance of melancholy reflection.
why, boys, The broke out, why didn't
she come to me afOre she bought
this crittur. Why, [ knew all about
him. That ere crittur was Jest ruined
a year ago last summer, when Tom, the
deacOn's boy there, came home from
college. Tom driv him over to Sher-
burn and back that ERE hot Fourth of
July. Member it, cause [ saw the crit
tur when he come home; [ sot up with
Tom takin' care Of him. all night; that
'ere crittur had the thumps all night, and
he hain't never been good for nothin'
since. [ telled the deacon he was q
gone boss then, Wouldn' never be good
tor nothin. The deacon he took off
his shoes and let him run to pastur'
all summer, and he's ben a-feedin, and
nussin' on him up; and now he's put
him off on the wilder. [ would Mt "a
thought it O the deacon. Why, this
hossu never be no good to her; that
ere s q used-up crittur, any fool may
see! He'll mabbe do for about a GUAR
ter of an haur on smooth road, but
come to drive him as body wants to
drive, why, he blows like my bellowsis
and the deacon knew Unjust "a
known it,"
"Why, Sam" we exclaimed, faint the
deacon good man %
oval now, there's where the shoe
pmches! In gln'al way the deacon is
q good man-he's considerable more
than middlin' good-g in'ally he adorns
his perfesslOn. On most p'ints [ don't
hev nothin' agin the an deacon and this
ere ANITA bit like him-but there t isl
Come to bosses, there's where the I'M
sanctified natur' comes out! Folks will
cheat about HOSES when they won't
about most nothin' else" And Sam
leaned back on his cold forge, now
empty of coal, and seemed to deliver
himself to a mournful train of general
reflection. " Yes, bosses does seem tC
be sort O unregenerate critturs," he
broke out. "there's suthin' about bosses
that deceives the very elect; the best O
folks gets tripped up when they come
to deal 10 hosses.''
Why, Sam, is there anything bad II
horses?' we interjected, timidly.
"'Taint the HOSES, boys" said San
with solemnity. "Lordy massy, the
bosses Is all right enough, -hosses il
scriptural animals: Elijah went up tC
heaven in a chari't with bosses; anc
then all them lots O. bosses in the Raw
Citations, black and white and red and
all sorts o colOrs That 'ere shows
bosses goes to heaven; but it's more'r
the folks that hev 'em is likely to. e
they don't look out.
ministers noW," continued SAM il
a soliloquizing vein; g folks alters thinks
it's suthin' sort O. shaky in minister tc
hev much to do with hosses,-sure tc
get 'em into trouble. There was ole
Parson Williams, of North Billriky, go
into dreful mess about boss. Lordy
massy, he warn't to blame, neither, bu
he got into the dreffulest scrape you
ever heard on-come nigh to unsettlin
him"
Oh, Sam, tell us all about it," w
boys shouted, delighted with the pros
pect of a story.
Wall, wait now till get off this crit
tur's shoes, and we'll take him up t.