The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1878-10-24
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

Morro for . health-lift: Pull your
tissues"
The Chinese in Nevada arc becoming
adopts in stock speculation.
A BRITISH farmer has collected and
planted GOO varieties of potatoes.
AN innovation in modern civilization
has occurred in San Francisco. A citi-
zen has beaten gas company at law.
THEREi is man living in Cook Coun-
ty, Tex, who boasts of a set of furni-
ture made from q tree on which his "a
Their was hung ten years ago.
| The Baltimore EUery Saturday SAYS
the world must stop praising pretty
women, and begin to praise women who
are ugly as to looks, but good.
AT Long Point, Tex, the colored
people put bells upon the necks of their
children to keep them from getting lost
in the high weeds that surround the
town.
The men who move the world are
those in every calling who are anxious
for advancement, and are on the look.
out for improvement and new ideas
Jo,oa State Register.
In Italy, 100000 people can't
write. But they can play q hand-organ,
and this is talent in which to succeed
and embark for the United States
doesn't require a knowledge of pen.
neutrality-suspicious. Herald.
ANEW HAVEN man has applied for a
patent on a policeman's club. The i'm
pr0vement lies in brass cover held in
place by springs, and when a rough at
tempts to grab the club he only gets
the cover, and before he works off his
establishment the officer has hammered
him black and blue with the genuine
ewood.-Bndgeport Conn. Stand
ard.
SHE was Boston girl. She was Wis
iting her Whitehall country cousin.
While walking out, several butterflies
passed her. "Oh, dear me, what
charming little birds. They are per-
fectly exquisite ''They are not birds,
my DEAR" replied her country cousin,
"they are butterflies" "Oh, you don't
say SO. Then these are the dear little
creatures that fly from flower to flower
and gather the sweet, yellow butter
that we use? They are too lovely for
anything"
The gas suddenly went out at San
Jose concert the other evening, and
when it was relit young lady indig-
nantly accused happy-looking man
her in the darkness. The man tried
to explain; but some of the lady's
friends seized and proceeded to fire
him out with expedition. As they
reached the door, the victim managed
to gasp out, Me kiss a, womani Why,
I'm just divorced" That settled It.
He was apologized to, and the man of
experience proudly resumed his seat
California Paper.
A GOOD story is told of the leading
clergyman of Albany, who Is q devoted
equestrian. A new horse had been
sent him from the livery, and to quiet
its freshness the gamin who brought it
was shouting, "Whoa, Emmar' The
reverend gentleman, in all innocence,
asked if that was the animals name,
and met with an affirmative response.
Riding through the park the animal
became restless, and the bystanders
were convulsed with laughter to hear
the good. dominic repeating In the
most earnest and somewhat excited
tones: "Whoa, Emma! Whoa, EN-.
mar
WHEN the Deputy-Sheriffs made a
seizure recently they accidently discov-
cred an ingenious device for conceal
ing liquor. In passing from one story
to another they went under o low arch
way. One Of the deputies accidently
hit his head against the arch, which
did not seem as solid as was to have
been expected. Investigation revealed
the fact that the archway had been
filed in with wide tin tank, thick at
the Top and thin at the bottom. This
tank was divided into two equal parts,
one half filled with gin and the other
with rum. The top of the tank was
made thick, so that when anybody trod
on the floor above it would not break.
From either endof the archway rubber
pipes passed through the floor to a
room below, and there met in casing
in the wall. A spring in the casing
opened small door where two little
faucets were revealed, from which the
rum and gin could be drawn of. The
casing of the wall was lathed, plastered,
whitened and painted SO ~ to conceal
the c0ntraband arrangements. 1t is
said this has worked without interrupt
ton for two years.-F0rtlGnd Adver-
tiser.
On board the train from Marshall
last night sportive young Texan un-
dertook to play the role of being fresh
representative from yellow-fever city
either Memphis or vicksburg-and
succeeded in terrifying some Of the
passengers, who regarded his presence
o. carrying with it almost the infec-
ton of certain death. A st. Louis
drummer saw through the f1imsy joke
and laid snare for the joker. He
spoke confidentially to the young man
and stated that he was also just from
Memphis and that it was altogether
probable that he had left that il1-fated
fever locality too late, - even now he
felt the symptoms of grim yellow jack
working on his system. While speak
ing he feigned to be seized with pains,
declaring that the yellow fever was
upon him. The Texas wag was panic
stricken, and seizing his luggage
rushed from the car, took position ON
the platform, where he remained dur.
ing the rest of the journey to Dallas:
The passengers were made aware OF
the truth Of the ruse and enjoyed - .
joke that which ct first appeared to be
no laughing matter. --Da!tas (1ss.)
Commercial. .-.,.. ...s.,,,e...
AT the last session of the Legisla-
turo of California women were admit