Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1878-01-10
MARK TWAIN.
His Speech at the Boston Dinner in
Honor Of Whittier.
from the Boston Advertiser.

culiarly meet for the digging up of pleasan,
"reminiscences concerning literary folk; there.
fore, will drop lightly into history myself.
Standing here on the shore of the Atlantic
and contemplating some of the biggest of its
literary pillows, am reminded of a thing
which happened to me fifteen year ago, when
l had just succeeded in stirring up little
Nevadian literary ocean-puddle myself, whose
spume-fakes were beginning to blow thinly
California-wards. started on an inspection
tramp through the southern mines of Cali
fornia. l was callow and conceited, and l
resolved to try the virtue of my nom de pzuee.
very soon had an opportunity. I knocked
at miners lonely log cabin in the foothills
of the Sierras just at nightfall. 1t was snow
ing at the time. A jaded, melancholy man
of fifty, barefooted, opened to me. When he
heard my nom de plume, he looked more de-
jected than before. He let me in-pretty re-
luctantly, thought-and after the customary
bacon and bean, black coffee and a hot
whisky, took pipe. This sorrowful man
had not said three words up to this time
Now he spoke up and said in the voice of
one who is secretly suffering: YOU'RE the
fourth-1'm going to move." ''The fourth
what?'' said l. 1.-THE fourth literary man
that's been here in twenty-four hours-I am
a going to move You don't tell mel" said
1 "who were the others ?' 'sMr. Longfel-
low, MIR. Emerson and Mr.. Oliver Wendell
Holmes-dad fetch the lot!''
You can easily believe was interested. I
supplicated-three hot whiskies did the rest
and finally the melancholy miner began.
Said he: .
They came just at dark yesterday evening,
and let them in, of course. Said they were
going to Yosemite. They were rough lot
but that's nothing-eyerybody looks rough
little bit of chap--red- d-headed. Mr.. Holmes
as three hundred, and had double chins all
the way down to his stomach. Mr.. Longfel-
low was built like prize fighter. His head
was cropped and bristly-like as if be had
wig made of hair-brushes. His nose lay
straight down his face, like finger with the
end joint tilted up. They had been drinking
Il could see that. And what queer talk they
used! Mr.. Holmes inspected this cabin, then
he took me my the button-hole, and says he:
Through the deep caves of thought
hear voice that SINGS
Build thee more stately mansions.
Omy soul!
Says l, 81 can't afford it, Mr.. Holmes, and,
moreover, I don't want to-" Blamed it l
liked it pretty well, either, coming from
stranger, that way. However, l started to
get out my bacon and beans, when Mr.. En-
erson came out and looked ON awhile, and
then he takes me aside by the button-hole
and says:
Give me agates for my meat;
Give me canthards to eat:
From air and ocean bring me foods.
From all zones and attitudes.
Says I, "Mr. Emerson, if you'll excuse me,
this amt no hotel" You see it sort of riled
me. I wasn't used to the ways of littery
swells. But I went on a-sweating over my
work, and next comes Mr.. Longfellow and
button-holes me, and interrupts me- Says he:
Honor be to Mudjikeewis!
You shall hear now Pau-Puk-Keewis!
But I broke in, and says !, Begging your
pardon, Mr.. Longfellow, if you'll be so kind
as to hold your yawp for about five minutes
and let me get this grub ready, you'll do me
proud" Well, sir, after they'd filled up set
out the jug. Mr.. Holmes looks at it, and
then fires up all of a sudden and yells:
Flash out stream of blood.red wine!
For would drink to other days,
BY George, was getting kind of worked
up. l don't deny it, I was getting kind of
worked up. turns to Mr.. Holmes, and says
|, 'sLooky here, my fat friend, I'm running
this shanty, and if the court knows herself.
you'll take whisky straight, or you'll 60 dry"
Them's the very words said to him. Now
[ didn't want to sass such famous littery peo-
pie, but you see they kind of forced me. |
There amt nothing unreasonable bout me;
don't mind passel of guests a-tread'n on |
ny tail three or four times, but when it comes
% standing on it, it's different, and if the |
court knows herself, you'll take whisky
straight, or you'll go dry Well, between
thinks, they'd swell around the cabin and
'trike attitudes and spout. Says Mr.. Long,
:ellow: ,...~.. tst.-
-. This is the forest primeyaL
Says Mr. Emerson:
Here once the embattled farmer stood,
And fired the shot heard round the world
Says l, 20, blackguard the premises as
much as you want tot don't cost you q
ent." Well, they went on drinking, and
,retty soon they got out a greasy old deck
nd went to playing cut-throat euchre al 10
ents corner-on trust. I begun to notice
ONE pretty suspicious things. Mr.. Emerson
ealt, looked at his hand, shook his head,
ays:
am the doubter and the doubt
nd calmly punched the hands and went to
hufaing for . new layout. Says he:
They reckon III who leave me out;
They know not well the subtle ways
keep, pass, and deal again!
Hanged if he didn't 60 ahead and do II,