The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1878-03-26

necessary to apologize. ''You see,"
he said, 81 am always very hungry
after preaching" The old gentlo-
man not much admiring tho youths
pupit ministrations, and having
heard this apology two or three
times, at last ropliol, "Indeed, sir,
I'm not surprised at it, considering
tho trash that comes aft your
stamach in tho morning." On an
other occasion clergyman, OBJ
serving the parish idiot sitting
wide awake in the front gallery
while many were slumbering round
him, thought to shame his hearers
into attention by stating the fact.
"You soc even Jenny Fraser, the
idiot, does not fall asleep, rs SO
many of you arc doing" Jamie,
not liking, perhaps, to be thus
designated, shouted back, can I
had na been an idiot, I wad ha' been
sleeping too"
There was often, no doubt, q
sharp conflict of wits when some
humorist ministers came into coll
lision with waggish members of
their flock. The consequent inter-
change of banter is exemplifed in
the following anecdote: A minister
in the North was taking to task one
of his hearers who was q frequent
absentee, and the accused defended
himself on the plea of a dislike to
long sermons. "'Deed, man." said
his reverend monitor, little metz
tied at the insinuation, "if ye dinna
mend, ye may land yersol whore yell
M be troubled wi mony sermons,
either long or short" "Weel,
aiblins [perhaps sac" retorted
John, "but it may III be for want O.
ministers" Many pithy and
facotious replies are recorded of
u clergyman in tho South usually
distinguished as "Watty Dunlop"
On ono occasion two irreverent
young fellows determined, as they
said, to "taigle" Ctackle] tho minis-
ter. Coming up to him in the high
street of Dumfries, they accosted
him with much solennity, "Maister
Dunlop, dao ye hear the news 2"
"What news 2" ooh, the .deirs
dead" "Is he q said Mr.. Dunlop;
"then maun pray for twa father
less BARNS" In another case the
game of repartee went against the
parson. A Mr.. Shira lost one of
his parishioners, q very decent,
! douce shoemaker who left the Kirk
and joined tho Independents. Some
time afterward, when Mr.. Shira
met John on the road, he said,
"And SO, John, understand We hae
become an Independent? "'Deed,
sir" replied John, "that's true"
ooh, John" said the clergyman, "I'm
sure ye ken that rowin' (rollinp)
stane gathers nae fog (moas)."
"Aye," said John, "Thats true too;
but can ye tell me what guide the
fog does to the stane?" This same
Mr.. Shira was well known from the
whimsical parenthetical comments
which he introduced in his reading
of Scripture; as, for example, ON
repeating from the 11Gth psalm, ssI
said in my haste all mon are liars"
he observed, soto voce, "Indeed,
Dauvid, an ye had lived in this
parish yo might hao said it at your
leisure" ..
Among the reminircences gath
cred in this volume some of the most
interesting relate to tho domestic
habits Of the peasant class. A poor. /,
man, we are informed, came to, his
minister for the purpose of being
married. The Clergyman assured
him that if ho married it must be :
for better and worse. Ere long he
came back very disconsolate and
insisted that the marriage bond,
could not hold good, for the wife
was "waur than tho devil" Tho
minister demurred, saying that was
quite impossible. "Na," said the
poor man, "the Bible tells 70 that if,
ye resist the devil he fees frae ye, Z
but if ye resist her, she foes at ye."
According to DR.. Ramsay, there 4
is tradition in Edinburgh that
David Hume on ono occasion slipped
from the path into a swamp then
existing at the back Of, the castle.
Here the philosopher stuck fast and 4
called for assistance to O peasant
who happened to be passing. "Are
na ye Hume, tho atheist 2" she said.
"Well, well, no matter" said Hume
"Christian charity commands you to
do good to every one." "Christian \
l,oro ~, C1,,,:.k,n,> 4to,n ..~.1.n1