The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1878-08-01
SCRAPS.

was TIE inscription on q cara or aumlS-
sion to a discourse by Il Philadelphia
clergyman the other evening.
Professor-"In one evening | counted
twenty-seven meteors sitting on my pI
aZZa." Class expresses great astonish-
ment at the sociable character of the
heavenly bodies.
Eve all knows" said the school com.
mitteeman to the new teacher he was
examining for her position, THAT A, b
an c is NOVELS, but wot we wants to
know is Wy they is So"
Say. condooctur, you don't sthop de
car; want to get out here" The con-
ductor was another Dutchman like
himself, and replied: well, Wy don'tyou
gay so; can't schmell i'd"
The editor of a child's parer received
a letter from a lady subscriber recently
in which was written: "Ouc Anne died
last week, after reading TN Lat num-
Der of your valuable paper
"DDN'T your aunt die rather sudden
lys" was asked of visitor from Maine the
other day. 'sWhy, yes" was the drawl
ed ont answer ''she did die suddenly
rather-for her. "-BOst0n Transcript.
The heavens are q print from the pen
of Gods perfection; the world is a bud
from the bower of His beauty; the sun
is spark from the light of Gods wis
dom, and the sky is bubble on the sea
of his power.
A man went home and found his
house locked up. Getting in at the
window with considerable difficulty, he
found on the table a note from his wife
II have gone out. You will find the
KEY on one side of the doorstep"
LIFE IN LEITRM. angler: "Oh,
but l can't try for salmon, l haven't got
a license" Native-"Is it a license We
want to kill fish? Shure We might kill a
man or two about here an nobody'd say
a word t'ye!"
Love will make silent man speak, 4
modest man most officious; it Will make
dull man quick. slow man nimble;
and what is to be most admired, it will
make Il hard, base, intractable man, as
fire doth iron in the smiths forge, free,
facile, gentle, and easy to be entreated.
@ 'p9I1p 6Idm!s 9uos pue 'p0uuel 9uos
'edoInH o. luas 9IG su!Ys aQL .sd!VM
5u!p!I pug Scoops 'sS5poOq IoJ pony
EIQgI!upG 'uMouY 81 lpIn L9QlBaI eIq
-rHd lsoW eVl aNCW H5qL 'rHgnsav
moIJ lIodX9 10 9I0nIg 4uGlIOdm! UP
amooaq Ape9IlB 9Ae4 s0p!V oole5uBY
Any number OF figures you may wish
to multiply by five will give the same
result if divided by two, much quick
e. operation; but you must remember
to annex 4 cipher to the answer when
there is no remainder; and when there
is a remainder, annex a Ave to the an
sWer.
A BIG Yankee from Maine, on paying
his bill in London restaurant was told
that the sum did not include the waitel.
"Wall," he roared, II didn't eat any
waiter, did T." He looked rs if he
could, though, and there was no further
discussion.
EDWIN BOOTH as Richelieu said, in
Chicago theatre:
France. my mistress France, my welded wife,
Who shall proclaim divorce 'twiXt me and thee?
aud, after solemn pause, somebody in
the gallery said: Most any Chicago
Judge"
It is satisfactorily proven by geology
that man was the last of created
beings upon this planet. If lis data
be consistent and true, as seems to be
the case, then there is conclusive evil
dence that, as we are told in Scripture,
man has occupied the earth but about
$500 years.
At meeting of the Directors OF
street railway, one of the gentlemen
said he supposed that objection would
again be made this winter to putting
salt on the tracks. Said a new and
green member, They wouldn't have
us put mushroom sauce on the tracks,
would they?"
"Pshaw!" said a young lady Of musis
cal taste, passing certain church Sun
Cay night, where an incompetent or
ganist was torturing the instrument,
cts enough to make that congregation
all go wicked just to imagine their Or
ganist having harp in the New Jeru-
sslem and being entitled to play Oh it,
"MR. PRESIDENT" said Buffalo al
derman, 81 makes der motion as der new
Jail be built on der same spot as der old
jail what's now standing; dat saves der
money for der land, and I makes der
motion as der old Jail shall not be pulled
down till der new Jail is built, so We Will
not be widout der jail
A LOVE letter picked up on the street,
recently. began: MY dearest and love
lest of angles" A young man who
would call his girl an angle, may be just
ly set down as hypotenuse-ance.-N
Herdld And deserves, when he goes
to see her, to find her polly-gone.
a YOUNG man in the country, who has
to work there, writes: II have just re-
turned from harvesting wheat 'tha gold
EN- wheat that some ass writes such glow
ing pictures about-and eating golden
butter aud all that stuff. If had that
man by the windpipe I would choke him.
My fingers are blistered and my face is
burned. l work sixteen hours a day and
get one dollar.