The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1878-06-01
mo. 80.
All Sorts.
Who lies will steal.

Hens are often set in their ways.
Perhaps it is the honeymoon that
is made of green cheese.
Time il money; of course it is. or
how could yon "spend an evening ~
Motto for a beautiful woman
asleep-Handsome is as handsome
doze.
George Washington wasn't always
first, even i'm war or in peace. he
married widow.
Brigham Young has gone to a
great summer resOrt-frOm whose
burn no traveller returns.
The man who smokes five cent
cigars and puts ten cents in the con-
tribution box died long ago.
Man glories in his strength; wo-
man in her hair; and clearinghouse
butter sometimes glories in both.
Mrs. Partington says that she
never had the small-pOx-not she.
She was inoculated years ago by an
oculist. ff.f
1t is singular how early in life
child gains the reputation of resem-
bling the richest and best looking
relations. tre -
A man who was fooled into buying
pinchback watch called it Faith,
because it was without works and
therefore dead.
Chang Su- Hsing, the new Chinese
giant. who is to exhibit himself. ut
the Paris Exhibition, is eight feet
four inches high.
An Iowa Justice refused to fine n
man for kissing girl against her
consent. He thought she ought to
have consented.
Because of his efforts to solve the
apparently insoluble, Edison was
nicknamed "Luny" by his compan-
ions years ago. Insanity seems to
pay. .a
Almost every idea is already pat
ented, but the man who shall invent
bootiack that will kill two cats at
one throw will find clear field, and
may realize from it his ever lasting
| fortune.
"Do Won really think. William"
said Mrs. Brown to her husband,
"that the telephone will ever be AZ
generally used rs the telegraph y
"Why, yes,r replied Brown, 'the
time is coming when it will be as
common to telephone as it seem to
he now to tell-a fib!"
A San Jose lady. who, it was sup
posed, had gone to a theatre, saw
her husband hugging and kissing
the servant girl, whereupon she
Knocked him senscless with poker
and broke the nose of the girl
Now there is Il sensible woman; but
she has had to pay 5000 for the fun.
The flowing reporter who wrote
with reference to a well known belle
"TIer dainty feet were encased IN
shoes that might be taken for fairy
boots,- tied his wardrobe up i'll {
handkerchief, and left for parts un'
known when it appeared the mex
morning, "Her dirty feet were en-
cased III shoes that might be taker
for ferry boats"
On being consulted about it
Spikes saws that Uncle Sam antici
mates the transfer of the Indian Blu
rean tn some mother department
and if this should father improve TIN
condition Of the children of the for
est. in sondry ways, by cousin then
to he more comfortable, it would b
n niece arrangement and danghte
be made. We are inclined, in neph
ew instances. to agree with tn
gramma. hut not the spelling.
'One of the funniest, and mos
aggrivating typographical errors o.
J record has inst produced hurricane
accompanied by thunder and light
ming. in the Office of the Lynchbur
Virginian. It's e1itor, on glancin
over his powerful leader, at tn
breakfast table, was astonished Z
find that he was made to say tia
the farmers would forget their "pau
try and nursery" in the excitement
politics. The manuscript read pos
erty and misery.
, A bashful and not over-edncate
, fellow went to seeshis girl the otlls
night, and as I've started away J
put his arm around her aud whii
pered IN her ear, dearest, i love;
and she responded sweetly, "ditto
i, mean'pg, If course, II reciprocatie
Of his tender passion. The yoan
q man could not ditto" in his vocal
: ulary, and asked his father the me-
e day as they were hoeing cabbag
n 4 -