Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1878-01-11
H Il N =

ten is not very green old age if, as as
tronomers assert, the period OF time Ill
which this earth will be inhabited is as
minute to the eternity of its actual exis-
tence. And yet some people really forget
that they were ever young.
There she stood. the apple of their eyes,
trembling with suppressed Weeps. Their
frowns deepened as the mother wiped her
glasses, preparatory to reading a letter
found i'll the girls pocket. 1t began.
Angel Of my existence.
s.M hat - hoWled the male parent, 'sY Gu
don t mean to say it begins like that? OH!
that child of mine should correspond
with. But pray proceed, my dear.'
HEN! existence spelled with "a too!''
proceeded the mater.
why, the lunatic can't spell,'' Clipped
in the old man.
1T is impossible for me to describe the
Joy with which your presence has filled
me''
Then why does he attempt 1t, ass! But
pray, don't let ne intern upt you. Go on;
go on; let joy be unconfned.'
Il have spent the whole night IN think
ing of you"-( that's picturesque. any way
-.'and in bitterly derlding the obstinate,
besotted old whelp who will not consent to
our union"
sob! let me get at him. Whelp. Is thy
servant /, toad that he should be thus
spoken of?''
But Theodorus, my DEAR interrupted
his other half.
Yes, yes; one moment; | was about to
observe that the isand that could pen such
words would not hesitate to scalp tile most
CHERISHED relative"
leaf
Ell! let me see; hum! Yours, with ali
the love of my heart Theodorus, May 10,
1885, Why. bless my eyes, it's one OF my
letters!n [sensation.]
Yes, pa, clnnled in the solve
Branch, II fouisd ltsyesterday-o only you
Wouldn't let NE speak,"
You may go 10 tie park, my child.
Hem We've N de d nice mess OF it.
Yes, love. Next time we will look al
the dste first
.sHave you got them boots done?" ask
ed u customer who had been disappointed
four times of the boss cGrd-Waintr.
Il guess they're about finished, but /
step Into the work-room and see, - and The
man of deceit slips out at the side d. OF and
goes into the adjoining saloon, where 1T
takes {; glass Of seer, aud in t!le course OF
ten minutes comes back with the lntofma
lion that the man vino was at work Oh
them has been taken sick and Tie CUSTOMER
will have to worry along with the old ones
another day.
And then, as the begulled victim goes
out growing, that reprehenSible shoe
maker cooliy turns round and says TO I.
companion:
Bill, must cut that fellows boots out
to-norrcw, OF he'll soon be getting into
fidget about EN-
A later of tobacco asked an old negro
womaii. tie tunes OF ws.ose pipe were ALT
noylng him: if she thought she was i,
Christian. f5s
Yes, brudder, [ 'spects 1 is"
DO you believe in tie bible2,' I'D
Yes, brudder"
I'D you know there is d passage in tie
Scriptures which says that nothing un-
clean shall inherit tie kingdom OF
leaven?"
Is, I've heard of it" q
We'll, Cn.oe, you smoke. and you call-
not enter the Kingdom Of heaven because
there is nothing SO uaclean as the breath
OF a smok I. What do YOU say to that.?'4
why. I 'spects to leave my breff be-
hind when so dar.'7
4 few days ago a teacher IN one of the.
primary schools was instructing her lowest
class III natural history Her subject was
the cat and its habits, and as she proceed
ed with her remarks She was charmed With
the wrapt attention OF her diminutiye .an-
ditets. At last she said to the smallest OF
her bows. a little mite with chubby cheeks,
aud giistening eyes: = ~ ;.
s.Jallnny, what does your mother keep a
cat for? - q. :. - ,,,ys.
..To lag Kittens was the. unexpected
reply.
The questioning for that session cameto
ala abrupt end. e 8
Two Paddles stood one day talking about
the moon and the sun.
..S4ure. tie SUI gives STRONGER
light said one.
But the moon is more sensible said
the other.
>sII.,- ID, 10. 10 that Oni -
''Oi. Us aisy ri
Lets hear yees Irove 1t.
s.Be,isd. the moon shines in the nOight
whin We made it, while tie sun comes cut
il. bro ID daylight, win even IL oLe-eyed
man can see without il?
us tsais the place. she asked. as she
wandered down OIL the barren sands,
..waere Il yeung LADY, beautiful yo' Nc
lady-fe!l il to The water last season, nd
Was rescued by u gtilant' young man
whom she afterwards married." He 10, k
ed at her carefully, est mated her at
square Al, with false teeth, and said: ~ IS,
ma,am. bat don 1T know how to swim
A minister who had been accused of
preaching a sermon that was not his own
went 10 Il parishioner who had made the
charge and asked him to retract it. ssWell,"s
said lie parshioner, II thought, when
heard that sermon, that it was taken from
a book bad at home; but [ went home
aud leked in. She book. and-it was all
there. =
It is astonishing how soon a man ac-
ias nmlsdoes his mistake when he puts he