The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1878-11-28
Mr.. Peppers Wife.
HOW He SHUT HER UP.

"Mrs. Pepper, l Labor under the i'm
preston that it is high time you were
! getting breakfast As my former
hOuSekeeper understood all my wishe,
in regard to these things | found il
unnecessary to give any orders re,
Specting them; but with You it is diff.
| ferent. As you have never got a meaI
| in this house, of course yOu know
nothing of the relations of the house
hold
1In the first place you Will make /;
/ fire in the kitchen, put on the kettle
etc; then yOu will make a fire in here
That done, you will cook the breakfast
and bring il here, as / have always
| been accustomed to taking mine III
bed, and do not consider it necessary tC
depart from that custom on your ac-
count; but should yOu prefer it, you
can eat yours in the kitchen, as it Is
perfectly immaterial to me-
This occurred the morning after
Mrs. Pepper went to housekeeping
Mrs. Pepper was a sensible woman
she made no reply to Mr.. Peppers com.
mand: but as soon as her toilet was
finished, she left the room, and sitting
down in the kitchen. she thus ruminat-
ed:
make the Kitchen fire! Yes, I'll do
that. Then make fire in the bed
room! III see to that, too. Then take
his breakfast to his bedside! Just see
if | dor And then Mrs. Pepper sat
and thought deeply for a few moments,
when apparently having arrived at a
satisfactory conclusion, she proceeded
to business. Having got u nien fire
/ lvdRnHiaI isaf fha l-IfqnAF ElnEa falFTIEAl Allf
some coal into Mr.. P.'s apartment, and
iillel up his stove, having first ascer-
| tanned that there was not a spark OF
| fire in it. That duty performed, she
next prepared the breakfast Of which
she part0ok with great relish: and af-
| ter matters and things had been set to
rights in the kitchen she went down
town on a shopping expedition.
Meanwhile Mr. Pepper began to grow
impatient. He "labOred under the inn
preston" that the atmosphere in his
room did not grow warm very fast and
he began to feel UnpleaSantly hungry.
Peeping out from behind the bed cur
tains, he saw how affairs were with re-
gard TO the stove. Something like a
suspicion of the real state of affairs be
gan to dawn upon his mind. lie lis
tened for few moments, but all was
still about the house.
Hastily dressing himself, he pro-
ceeded to investigate the affair. lie
soon cOmprehended the whole Of it,
and was wrathfl at first; but he COM
forted himself with the reflection that
he had the power 10 punish Mrs. p,
and he felt bound to do it, too. After
some search he found the remains of
the breakfast, of which he partOOk
with gustO, and then sat down to
wait for Mrs. p She was Il long time
i'm coming, and he had ample time to
nurse his wrath; while sitting there
he thus SOlilOquiZed:
THAT ever /, Philander Pepper,
should be so treated by woman, too,
is not to be believed. ! can't believe
it, nor | won't either. But she can't
escape, that's certain; if she should,
my reputation for dignity would he
forever gone! For haven't / told Solo
mon SimpletOn all along how | was go
ing to make my wife stand around /;
how / would shut her up, and feed her
on bread and water, if she dared To say
that she would do it?'
a coy little argument, Mr.. Pep
per-" said a soft voice behind him.
Mr. l.. started up, and there stood
Mrs. L. right behind his chair, laugh
ing just as hard as she could. Mr.. u.
put on a severe look.
'Sit down on chair, madam" said
he pointing 10 one he just vacated,
"while l have little conversation
with you"
Now should he pleased to know
why You did not obey my orders this
morning, and where you have been all
the fOrenOOn?"
"Where-I have been this forenoon? a.?
Mr.. Pepper | have not the least Oblec-
ton to tell YOU; l have been down
town doing little shopping. l have
purchased some lovely napkins; Just
look at them" she, holding them up
demurely for his inspection; Il only
paid a dollar apiece for them-eX-
tremely cheap, don't you think SOE'
she added.
Mr.. Pepper was astOniShed; how
dared she turn the conversation i'm this
way was a mystery 10 him. Suddenly
his bottled wrath broke loose. Turn
ing fiercely upon her he said:
"BetSey Jane, YOU disgust NE; YOU
seem to make very light of this matter
but il is more serious than yOu inn
agine, as YOU will find to your cost
presently. If you do not instantly beg
NV pardon in a submissive manner,
shall exert my authority to bring you
to Il proper sense of your misconduct,
by imprisOning you ig in one of my
chambers until yOu are willing 10
promise strict obedience to my wish
eSr
At the close of this eloquent and
dignilied speech Mr. Pepper drew him
self up To his full height, and stationed
himself before Mrs. p, ready to re-
ceive expressions of SOTrOw and peni-
tence; he had no doubt that she would
fall down at his feet and say-"Dear
PhilandeT, wont YOU please forgive
me this time, and I'll never do so any
mOreT
And he was going to say, Betsy
Jane you'd better not" but instead
of doing all this. what do yOu think
she did: Laughing him right in the
face,
Mr.. Pepper was awful wrathv.
He spoke i'm a voice of thunder. and
said
Mrs. Pepper, walk right up stairs
this very minute, and don't let the
grass grow under your feet while YOU
are going either. You have begun
your antics in good season, Mrs. Pep
per. hut I'll have YOU to know that it
won't do to continue them any length
Of time with me, Mrs. Pepper. Again
l command YOU to walk up stairs"
well, really, Mr. p, it is not at all
necessary for YOU to speak so loud
am not SO deaf as all that comes TO;
but rs for walking mp stairs | have not
the least objection to do 50, if you viii
wait until until | have recovered from
my fatigue; hut | can not think of do
ing SO before"
but you must, Mrs. p"
"Then all / have to say IS this; YOU
will have to carry me, for | 1c0R't