Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1878-03-22
PLAIN TALK FROM A WOMAN.

he himself was stranger.
PLAIN TALK FROM A WOMAN.
The Different Codes of Morals for Boys
and Girls--A Mothers Demand that
Boys shall be Trained to be Men.
Letter to the Boston Herald.
Several excellent Journals have recent
ly printed some excellent advice to
mothers concerning their daughters.
Lecturers have also told us How to
train Girls, and what shall we do with
our Daughters?" has been ably answer
ed from the platform. But who ven
lures a word concerning the responsible
ity of training sons? Who presumes to
tell the fathers what is their duty?
With all due respect for the sex, |
would like to ask why the fathers, who
find fault with the work Of the mothers
in preparing girls for the high and re-
sponsible duties of life, do not, and have
not, proved themselves fit to instruct?
What have you to do for your sons?
How is it that here in Massachusetts,
where ''superAuous women are con
stantly quoted, that the majority of
criminals are men and boys? Is it our
badly managed girls, who have not had
"a right start" who hoot and howl at
midnight? Who is it that drinks, gam
bles, swears, and makes virtuous wo-
man dread going out after nightfall?
Did you ever hear of the Boston Uni
versity girls going out on time, or
the Vassar girls having a big blow out?"
Did you ever know girl to send home
for ''spondulics' in order to meet bill
for wine and cigars? Did you ever hear
Of case where a respectable young col
lcgc student, girl, was accustomed to
60 out on ''larks" and be helped home
by the police? Could, or would, a young
lady student spend an evening in so vile
a place? They would mot let the old
man know for all the world!' When
we investigate, or ponder on these
things, may we not Justly ask, since you
have done so i'll with the sons, why do
you sit in judgment on your daughters?
1t is the father who winks and laughs
when he is told that his boy of ten or
twelve is smoking; it is the father who
talks about wild oats" when he speaks
of his sons, but the mother mourns, and
well knows what the harvest will be. 1t
is the fathers who constantly say, "Oh,
let the boy alone, mother, l will manage
him. and at the end of year or two
goes to his wife, dazed with trouble and
cries out: For Gods sake, Mary, if
you have any influence with Harry do
talk with him, he is going to ruin as fast
as he can go In all such cases how
the poor mothers cry pierces the heart.
Il begged his father not to allow him so
much liberty, but he was sure did not
understand boys; my girls are source
of comfort, but our only son living
grief" If the girls are not started right
who starts hundreds of sons in such a
manner that their end is misery? Why
are whisky, low companions, late hours
and vice, seeing life for boys and sin
for girls? Believe it or not, fathers of
America, "sin is sin and knows no sex"
Forgery, murder, ifc-beating, adultery
ands crime of all kinds tell us in terrible
figures how many boys are started
wrong, and the responsibility rests large
ly with the fathers. A recent list of
divorces shows quite twothlrds of the
cases are women appealing to the courts
for protection. What does this say for
our girls? Only this That having suf-
fered in silence from gross and wanton
neglect" until silence ceased to be a
virtue, they have at last cried out in
their agony for themselves and little
ones. The very word divorce is dread
full to proud, loving woman, and hun
dreds undergo the tOrtures of domestic
inquisition, rather than face publicity;
but when honor and love have been
trampled upon, when children are
wronged, then the woman rises in the
strength of her womanhood. and asks
the law to give her the little freedom
which remains for her in life.
Who gave them false ideas of their
duties? Who taught them one code of
virtue for men and another for women?
Not the mother; never. Their souls
burn with Indignation, but their lips are
sealed, for men have long since decreed
that the boys are their special care.
Women insist on pure lives, not only
for themselves, but for their sons, as
well as daughters. Do we not all know
honest, upright men, of our own and
earlier times, men honored everywhere;
pure hearted, clean-handed men, who
were 'women's boys?' Men who, with
out fathers, or worse than none, have
by the guidance and care of some good
woman, grown up to do themselves and
the world honor? The time has arrived
when mothers dread to think of mar
riage for their daughters. The ordinary
young man is SO shielded by his fellows
that his evil habits are unknown until
some con6ding young woman consents
to be his wife, and is wretched for ever
after. 1t would not be difficult task
to point out hundreds of families in ev-
cry large city, where the moral charac-
ter of the sons is doubtful, while the
daughters are models of virtue. If the
fathers train the boys, we ask again
who is to blame? Young women arc
thinking so seriously upon the subject
that many have resolved to remain sin
gle rather than become the life partner
Of young men whose past record is not
perfectly clear.
Men may talk until doomsday about
It's costing too much to marry and
the extravaganza of women but il
their hearts they know that many OF
the very best girls fit themselves fol
public life in the professions and make
homes forxhemselves because the hab
its of the ordinary young man are so of
fensive to all their refined tastes. This
does not come from any so-calle(
strong minded notions" or hatred O.
woman's duties, but from a sense O
self-respect, which leads pure, youn'
girl to say, / cannot accept the duties
of wife and mother, unless l can do 81
with one who regards them as sacredl!
as / do. They are too high and holy t.
be regarded with other than the pures
thought, and | may not be happy wife
1 can at least be good, useful woman.
| Now, respected fathers of families
let woman, and mother. give you
Bit of advice:
| Train your boys to be as pure, clean
| I'D, - Ic