Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1878-03-09
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.

The Turkeys say "qu.s."
Nobody need cry more water.
Silver roar has beea found every
where recently.
The champion bull fighter in
Spain is an Irishman.
Greece is trying to get. out of the
frying pan into the fire.
Whom did the pastry cook marry?
His sweet-tart, OF course.
The question is will the Bear and
the Lion lie down together?
A good many men are trying to
cremate themselves internally
Young women are advised to set
good examples, because young men
are al wars following them.
An utter incongruity:-A barrel
organ opposite your window, play
ing Let us be happy together"
Ingersoll does not believe that
Adam was born gentleman. No;
be never let n lady stand up in a
horse car.
II is Understood that civil service
rafnrm may still he obtained In linn
ired quantities by application to the
President.
"Save the potato .peelings for the
pigs" was the injunction of ali Ohio
mother as her daughter set out on
her bridal tour.
1t will never do to let women vote.
They would die before election day
trying to find oat the color Of the
other party's new ballots.
Many mothers raise their daugh-
ters on the principle"f teaching them
first to play the piano, second To
dress, third to dance, and sew forth.
II she is rich we speak of her hair
as having deep aud fascinating
auroral tiut; but if she is poor We
say that her hair is as red as a carrot
AuburH is anxious for female
base ball club. Ifa big angleworm
should be discovered on the grounds
every mother's daughter Of 'em
would squeal and make home run.
There is "styie" among the ladies
of Alaska as we'll as anywhere else.
They grease their noses with "A mix
ture of oil aud coal dust, and the
blacker the lose the more stylish il
Is.
Miss Genevieve Rogers and Miss
Viola Aiken offered $40 each to a
squaw at Omaha to christen her pa.
poose Ganevieve Viola, but upot
examination II was discovered to be
not that sort Of papoose. ags'r
Silence is copper; that it is gives a
Alcohol will clean silver--out of
your pocket. o. Il
Bret Hart has had Lake Michigan
steamer named after him.
In the bright Lexington Of Ken
tu;kv there is no such word as "No,
/ thank you; never drink"
will never purchase lottery tick
cts ST long rs can hire II man to rob
me at reasonable wages Billings.
Now that Beecler has done away
with the big blaze the future Of
many Of US doesn't look as bright as
It did.
Somebody thinks that DR.. III GLANDS
last poem is"aIm"st intoxicating ia
its beauty A sort of Holland gip,
we suppose. ~
Don't tell married nun any joke
on the boys, for hell tell his wife, his
wife will tell her sister, and her sister
will tell the rest of the girls.
California desires an effecti ge game
law-one for instance which will de-
fine the proper period wherein to
shoot Cinnamon. = Buffalo Express.
A California editor has reached the
apex Of modesty. In describing the
rieutenant Governor he says: "He is
about the size Of the writer of this
SKETCH"
The Philadelphia Bulletin saws it
will write to Billy, of Germany, and
respectfully suggest to bis Mjesty
that telepone is a much nicer name
than fernsprocher.
1t is stated that there are 10000
men in the Black Hills. making $40
a day. We give the statement for
what it Is worth-five cents ON the
.dollar,--[Free Press.
."rhe baby may be well spring
of joy, but if 50, the we'll can't hold
water" said disguised bachelor as
ne handed the child hastily back to
3ts mother.-IEu Eureka Sentinel,