The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-09-03
SUNBEAMS.

Why call her girl of the period, when
she refuses to come to full stop3
A bona fde advertisement Wanted-To
buy small farm with some land.
"Business before pleasure" as the man
said who kissed his wife before going to
soc his sweetheart.
A wag suggests that a suitable opening
for many choirs would be, ooh, Lord, have
mercy on US miserable singers.
"Marriage! Pooh don't men-shun-it" !"
exclaimed the maiden aunt. Indeed they
don't!" replied her lovely niece.
Preacher Ito boy on the street)-My lit
tie man, is your father Christianp Boy
Yes, sir, but he amt working at it much
lately.
A Lawrence paper says that young
man recently ''shot himself with rival"
The young fellow doubtless had rea-
son to believe that the rival wouldn't go
off.
The miser business pays. You never
hear of miser making an assignment.
One of this profession has recently died,
and left behind two millions of pro-
perty.
A Nevada man who had the eloquence OF
q Cicero, the retentive memory of
Richeleu and brain as large as Web
sters was fined three dollars and costs.
"Not guilty, but ought to be hanged"
was the form in which a bigamist, IN
whose favor technical point had been
successfully raised, was acquitted by jury
in Chester, Pa.
Beware of the two dollar man. If he
says one dollar or two and half he may
be an honest borrower But the chrome
beat is he who endeavors to extract two
dollars without pain.
! An undertakers establishment of Schuy-
kill Haven, Pa, was broken into the other
| night and all the cotfins carried away and
deposited on the doorSteps of the doctors
offices and drug store of the town.
A young man in Sprague, Conn, who
carries pistol cartridges in his pocket with
his tobacco, happened to get one IN his
pipe the other day, and did not know
it until piece of his nose was blown OIL.
He nose it now.
Clerk Giving chango): "Have you a
penny, sir" Swell: "Haw Don't gen.
ewally cawwy coppars !" Clerk; "Ihen
Pm afraid 1 must give you eleven of EN-,
sir ."-Punch.
A young lady of Lowell, Ont., was sent
to jail recently for swearing because hel
back hair dropped in the gutter when she
Jumped out of buggy, and now The
5 Canadian women want free ballot anc
: female police judges.
In the lobby of an inn at the head o.
, Loeb Suinart the following inscription Wa
painted on the wall in conspicuous letters
: -''No person will get credit for whlske.
: in this house but those that pay none
. down"
S Pious old Boston gentleman observe
boys playing marbles on the Common on
S Sunday. Boys" he says, sternly, "boy'
e do YOU know what day it is p One of til
: bows wells out, "Here, Bill, can you tie
: this man what day it s?-he don't know
5 End of the missionary enterprise.
A most extraordinary elopement recent
e occurred at Sharpsburg, Pa, where Jus
- tice of the Peace, who had lost both lee
e in a railway accident, ran away Gf the e.
II preston is admissible in such case), wit
) his cousin, young lady of sixteen year.
who had been engaged as clerk III h
h office.
If An exchange has an article telling "ho
il matches are made" We supposed even
e body knew it was, by taking young ma
y and young woman, equal parts, and Il
a them sit up together about six month
y telling them few times in this interv
n that they should never have each othe
u Perhaps there are other ways we hayn
, 0 heard Of Bridgeport Standard.
lG Pascal, who married ruby-haired girl
al wear ago, returned to his mother for
visit on Sunday, and she discovered that
IL had become bald-heaued. His mother Il
le tempted to brush few stray locks ov
id the white spot, but he patiently sal
N Don't spoil it; that Is where Mary La
ii down her plan of battle"
~ Somebody has imposed on the innocen
70 of the Chicago Times man, and induce
is him to print the absurd statement that
rk the Queens farm, near London, sells br
IN ter there, Victoria milks six COWS herSe
e. Any well informed person knows til
r. the Queen hires all the outdoor work dol
IS in order that she can devote her who
time to the cAurning. .-DetroH Free Press
p
at John Bannister the comedian, was pr
tn sented to an old lady, proud of ancie
"a and noble blood. The lady asked a wit
re the day, who was present, "Who are t
Sc Bannisters Are they good family
is "Yes," said the wit, very good, indee
ct they are closely connected with the Stairs
II Oh" said the lady, "a very ancio
b. family of Ayrshire back to 1853
IN AIN delighted to see your friend. "
lst A little boy had one day done wron
OF and he was sent, after maternal correctlo
to ask in secret the forgiveness of his Hea
,o- enly Father His offence was passion. Al
,,nIa ious to hear what he would say, his moth