Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1878-01-18
IN A STREET CAR.

IN A STREET CAR.
l..
Jim Mallory came swinging on a
| half run round the corner of State street
to catch an uptown car. "A red car,n
his friend Saxon had told him; and
there it went full speed out of sight just
as he came in view of it. An east wind
was blowing, as it generally is blowing
in Boston, and Jim Mallory shivered,
and sneezed, and drew up his coat col
lar, while he mathematical the Hub of
the Universe and her east winds, as
GOthamite was bound to do. Presently,
what with the dust in his eyes and the
well-known delightful regularity of that
city, Jim got "turned round," as the
country folk say, and for few minutes
couldn't tell for the life of him which
was uptown and which was downtown.
"Confound the placer he began,
when all at once it seemed as if all the
ears in the city suddenly appeared.
There they were, red cars and green
cars and blue cars, bearing down upon
him in swift confusion. He hailed the
first and shouted where he wanted to
go. The driver shook his head and
pointed backward in the most indefinite
manner; and there were six cars behind
him.
He hailed the second, and went
through with the same humilating ex-
perience. He hailed the third, he hailed
the fourth, and all at once came to his
senses at the fifth, and discovered that
they were every one going the wrong
way, and he himself all out of the way
on the wrong street. He breathed an
exclamation more emphatic than polite,
and dashed through to fremont street
just i'll time to catch the car he was
after. Jim was handsome fellow or
dinarily, but you never would have sus-
pected it now. To begin with, he had
Il cold in his head; and for
A cold in the head
What can be said
Uglier, stupider, more ill-bredl
Being blonde man, too, made it
worse, as every blonde, be they man or
woman, can testify; for flushed and
swollen eyelids and excoriated nostrils
show off to most dismal disadvantage
beside blondes chair of yellow or
beard of gold" And then the thin
tissues, the light skin, which evinces
every disarrangement! Well, besides
cold in the head, Jim Mallory was COW
cred with dust from his head to his feet.
Then, because of the cold in his head,
he had drawn his coat collar up around
his ears, and, because of a general I'M
comfortable condition, he had drawn
his shoulders nearly up to his ears.
And then something had happened to
his hat. | don't know what it was He
didn't know what it was, or he never
would have sat there right in the face
of those five girls, looking like such a
guy, without trying to remedy it. 1t
was something between a crush and
twist, which, taken together with his
general muffy appearance, gave him
the aspect of forlOrn and Secdy old
fellow at odds with himself and with
the world. This was a climax for
young man who led off the German in
Avenuedom, and who was spoken of
usually by all feminine Avenuedom as
$50 distingUe." And there sat those
five girls without suspicion of these
facts in his history. Five girls, as
pretty as girls need to be, laughing and
chattering like-like-well, like five
girls. l don't think there is any COM
parison that will serve rs well as that,
after all. There they sat, laughing and
chattering, perfectly needless of the
forlorn and seedy old fellow doubled up
in the opposite corner. Such things as
he found Quit For there was nobody
else in the car but another forlorn and
seedy old fellow at the end of the seat.
And what heed did these girls think
would be given to their chatter by these
forlorn old fellows?
"HOw do you get your hair into such
a lovely tluff?' inquired brunette of
blonde.
"Why, roll it up into curls, and
then just pass coarse comb through it.
But yours is lovely, too, I'm sure. How
do you do yours?"
"ROll it on heated slate-pencil."
"Oh, but that hurts the hair so. |
put mine into crimping pins" said an
other.
And still another: ~ braid mine and
press it."
And still another: Common hair
pins, think, are the best of all. But
then one looks so like fury in any
pins
Then the brunette gave little giggle
80 girls, | put my hair into pins
once-those great crimping-pins Lou
uses. 1t was one morning when it
rained, and l thought was safe from
visitors. / was going to the opera in
the evening with Will Hess, and |
wanted to look very nice, you know.
Well, there | sat in the parlor, practic-
ing my last singing lesson, and never
heard the bell nor footstep until some
one crossed the threshold. Who do you
suppose it WASP" And the little dark
head buried itself in little Persian muff
to smother another giggle.
1--WE can't guess. Who was itph
burst out the other four voices in the
greatest excitement.
Up came the head from its temporary
hiding, the pretty face all a-blush, the
dark eyes all a-dazzle with laughter,
the frizzed hair little the worse for
the Persian muff
80 girls! it was Will Hess with Lang
ford-Langford just home from Paris,
you knowr'
"What did you do?" from the chorus
of four.
"Oh, didn't die and couldn't run
away; for there they were, right before
me; so4made the best of it and laughed,
for it l0aS funny, and then snatched
our Georges Scotch cap from the table
where he had flung it that morning and
covered up my steel horns and my ugli-
ness in a twinkling'
Plucky, declarer' muttered Jim
Mallory, inside of his coat-collar.
"Will said deserved a Cdptaincy for
my GOODNESS and strategy. Will is al
ways making his bad puns, you know"
continued the fair speaker.
And then the others took up the tale
and not one but had some gleeful mis-
adventure to relate. And in this relat-
ing, what mysteries of rats and mice