The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1878-03-17

feels like beresved husband, deserving all the
solutions which religion afford. He is not like
the man who said that during the hrst year OF his
married life he loved his wo enough to eat her. and
after that no wished he hao eaten her. for he loved
s'to kill," and did It.
Very few people In the world have any Just concep-
ton Of the value OF sugar ofthe difference between
sugar and vinegar Sugar sprinked ON preserved
peaches deveopes the peach taste, and sugar enioid
ing quninc pill makes IL slip into its destined place
without leaving trace Of bitterness In the mouth.
little sugar sprinkled over the congregation helps
to Ill up the contribution baskets, and when man
feels that everything against him sugar properly
administered sweetens his heart and makes him feel
like going It more. There arc few things that
unready to and few that will accomplish
greater and more satisfactory results than sugar.
The good resolutions which you made at tho Begin
ming of January are mostly like last years. birds'
nests they are not at present in use.
Pepper used rs q condimcnt serves its purpose but
when transferred to the disposition It has Its draw
backs. Some men 60 through life like animated
pepper box, and upside down at that scattering its
contents in peoples noses and eyes and producing
forced snceze wherever It's presence is felt. They
always say tho wrong thing TO the wrong person. like
the lady who was asked TO meet a missionary whose
husband had Rraced the feast OF some cannbals, and
who, when requested to sing, sat down AZ the piano
and rected tho ballad
On the plains Of Timbuctoo
would cat up the missionary,
Hat and boots anu hymn book too.
Some people IRE nqulring how it Ia that Or.
Taylor In his lecture on Galatians last week. omitted
any reference chapter W.. wncn gavo him such
excellent opportunity to give pieco OF advice 10
certain Dutch Consistoryf It is hnscd that he
passed by Intentionally.
Dr. BoRg, Scotch Presbyterian, is making crusade
against Instrumental music in church, and singing
classes, and such terrible Innovations His religion
consists of cubic feet Of acid 1t is enough to
curdle the milk Of human kindness When the WORD
dance used his hearing he throw up his hands
In horror and went into paroxysm. from which
nothing but tho nasal wang OF the parish clerk could
rouse him. He is hardly like tho colored worshipper
who sang
1t seems to ms-indeed It dol mebbe mought DO
wrong
That people rally ought to dance, wen Christmas
Dey dances kaso dsys happy-hko dc birds hops in do
trees;
De pine top fiddle soundin' to dc bowling Of dc
negro boy who wont into q hugo oven to clean It
out found 10 his horror that tho door had snapped
to. Tho Are In the gratc burned brightly, and The
oven grew to DO uncomfortably hot lie SAID whom
released that no passed such 1vo minutes in
his lie. and assured his minister that whether Dir.
Beecher believes In nell NOT he doesn't propose
to take any chances.
nan will sometimes tell tho truth unconsciousy.
The best Of stumble 1t occasionally An Irish
man built y roaring Ere on an unusually hot day.
The master called him up and said, "Patrick, on
cold day you freeze u hot day you roast US.
You ought to use discretion In this matter" Patrick
ran his fingers through his HAIR hoping TO clutch at
an excuse. and thinking that discretion must mean
some new kind OF k,ndling wood, replied, ~ would
have used discretion, sir we'd had any; but We are
all out OF 1t, and SO put on tho blowor"
There Is lady In Denver who says sho has dis
covered the secret OF living forever but she declares
she won't toll It, That sjust tho way in this naughty
world. What wo want to know most can't lind
oat and those who do know won't toll. It looks now
% though We should havo TO die after all