Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1878-04-25
PaStinle.

Pastime.
Farmers have learned that it takes
the best of soil to raise mortgage.
Society says Sam Slick. sis like
a pork barrel-the middle good, but
the top and bottom a leetle tainted"
Falling in love is like falling into a
cistern-it is mighty easy to fall in,
but awful hard to get out. breakfast
Table.
Don't tell the Utica school children
that the age of miracles has passed.
The boys and girls behold numericals
every Utica Observer.
The pct will keep on bilin' and de
cabbage will burn, but never burn up.
You all will be like dat cabbage il you
don't repent Richmond, Ia, erhOr-
ter.
A Mississippi Judge was just saying
that no one but a coward would car
ry pistol, when his own fell from his
pocket and was discharged, and the
bullet hit lawyer.-Detroit Free
Press.
What is the difference between a
school boy studying his lessons and a
farmer watching COWS? One is stock
ing his mind, and the other is mind
ing his stock.
A Florida negro mistook mule for
a ghost and poked it with a stick.
The verdict recited that he came to
his death by using too short stick
in probing the unknowable for evil
dence of future Forces
ter Press.
would that the dollar of our dad
dies was like a piece OF scandall"
sighed an impecunious patriot. "Why
SOL" asked O friend. $50 that the
more it was circulated the bigger it
would get" was the reply.
An impecunious young Pennsyl-
vanian married an aged widow who
owned a couple OF oil wells, whereup-
on it was remarked of him, in the
marriage notice, that: "He loved not
wisely, but two well(s)."
"You look" said German minded
and imaginative friend to pale, hag-
gard smoker, you look as If you had
got on. Of your grave to light your
cigar. aud couldn't find your way back
again.
when" he said, violently, "when
are you going to pay me that bill?
I've dunned you till I'm tired and
mad. Now, want positive answer
when will you pay it by Jovel'
was the reply, "you must take me for
prophet! How can / tell?"
"Ah, my good fellow, where have
you been for week back?" "For a
weak backi l have not been troubled
with a weak back, thank you" mo,
not where have you been long backl"
"Long backl Don't you call me long
back, you inquisitive fellow"
One OF the greatest mysteries OF
the age is, how an honest man can
get rich in an Office which has no sal
airy connected with it. Wer3 il not
for wounding somebody's feelings, we
should say that an honest man never
does anything OF the kind.
Two lawyers bore the same name,
and practiced in the same town.
Whenever one OF them received
letter containing money, he knew he
was himself; but when either one
happened to be bombarded with lot
of unpaid bills, he felt willing to
swear that he was the other man.
During the Crimean war, a Turk,
while at his noon prayer one day, was
kicked and told to get out of the way
by an English soldier. He paid no
attention to the Insult until his
prayer was finished, when he offered
to fight the Englishman. Johnny
Bull. thinking he had q soft Turk,
squared" himself, but received
most severe humping, and, as he
cried, "Holdl enoughl' you can inn
agine his CONSERVATION when the vic
torious worshiper exclaimed, "Now,
mkt time we insult Turk, be sure
he's not from Kilkenny"