The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1878-01-07
Widow Th0fH as a Strategist.


fresh, plump, and deep in her fortles-
one OF the Kind who smooth their aprons
dow n while they talk TO you. Then the
little cigar shop at the corner, which she
kept, and where she ratified on about
different brands OF tobacco, and talked
OF the weather to her customers, and the
Kindness which any tale OF sorrow told
by vagrants called forth from her-the
many times her fat little hand went into
the drawer for change to be bestowed
on some charitable piea--all went to
make up the best tempered, the most
motherly and the incest little woman
you would ever chance TO meet.
So thought DR.. Ash, who lived next
door, and who often went in for lit le
snuff. you know, but who invariably set
Tied mis- wig more rakisniy before pop
plug into the shop. He used to say to
her: "My! You must be lonely here,
Widow ThornW
80, not at all, sir, thanking youp' she
would reply.
"I wonder you never married asecond
time. Widow ThornV
"Wsjl, it is a wonder. isn't it, doctorY
But, you see, 1 am such a queer old
body that Iguess not many could fancy
me-"
"Madam, there you must stop; can
not hear Tie divine sex dlsparaged," re-
turned the doctor. He was, as they say,
of the old school.
She laughed.
ICan't a woman speak against her.
sci T' she asked.
ono: she never speaks against herself
unless she means 10 flatter herself ny
contradictory disparagement when some
one Is by"
WSir. you are too plain"
"Wldow Thorn, l was always called
nIain. and the wigs too big for me-"
Then she laughed at him; and what
promised to be a quarrel ended IN
merry "Go0d-by."
Then there was the baker at the cor
ner: he was a widOwer, and he used to
come in of an evening for a chat and
cheap cigar.
BILE Isn't itW
"Do you speak from experience"
asked she.
eyes: my Marla's been dead fourteen
years." said he.
II shouldn't think it would take so
long time for you men to forget any
thing" she said.
"Ah, ma'aml Man is wonderful be-
ing-the most wonderful of Gods crea'
| tures."
"Except woman" said she.
"You're right, widowl And that's the
reason the Lord meant that every man
should have wife and every woman a
! husband, just to make them equal. So
think YOU and l must have new part
ners."
| "Now, look here, Mr.. Johnsl You've
had your partner and PYe mad mine,
and death has dissolved the partner
ships. Now, we're both bankrupt, and
we can't carry on a joint business; 80
we must 60 ON pleasantly" she said,
| and laughingly bade him Good night"
he had to laugh, too, because she
seemed to expect him to do nothing
else.
Then there was the old bachelor over
| the way, who was learning the basseon.
He usedto come to his window of sum-
mer evenings, when the widow was
standing az her door for a breath of fresh
air, anu he would blow away OF "The
| Last Link is Brokenp till it was won.
der he did not rupture something and
die. He did not smoke, nor drink, mol
chew, But brilliant idea struck him
one day, and over he went.
"Doyou keep paper collars, mRam ~
he asked trembling.
"Yee, sir," she answered, smoothing
her apron down.
"Give me some," he said, vaguely.
"What slze"
SO, any sizeI I don't care much"
Sue looked at him.
"Don't you know your numberr' sh'
asked.
"No, ma'aml But don't much.
tLud!' she exclaimed. "Here, sir
Just you take your collar of, and let mt
measure It,"
SO she cid, and handed him another.
"ThaVll tit you, sir" she said.
i Then he tried to put it on, and hi
hand trembled so that he broke one o
the buttonholes.
"Now it's done, SIR" she said.
i, 81 am afraid l am" said he.
; "SirW
"I mean I-Pm afraid it isv
Then he took up another, and out o
compassion, she said
> "LeL me button it for you. All men ar
death on buttons and Duttonholes-..
know by poor Thorn"
: Then she fitted on the collar and tn
bachelor was ecstatic. As she hande
| him his change she said:
"You're the gentleman that play
such sweet, dreary tunes on the horn
aren't you~
"Yes, play little. But it's dread
full lonely playing all by myself"
"Isn't there any one with youW sh
asked.
mo, Pm cursed-Pm a bachelorp'
"Deary me! THAT'S bad! I'd ask yo
over here to play, sir"
: sop he Interrupted.
"But Pm AFRAID the doctor next doc
wou. d come in and ask if anybody Wa
hurt" she continued.
"OW he said again, in quite a diffe
ent Tone, and left. Five minutes afte
he was moaning out, "rhe last link
broken" as il that link had in its sounC
ness neld heaven ana earth together
The doctor needed a lot of snuff; the ba
ker was clearly smoking himself into til
grave with his Maria; and The bachelo
; used SO many paper collars that tn
little widow ordered as many boxes
mis- as she did OF al the other sizes pu
to- ether. But at last, one night, cam
The maId-servant from next door, pound
ing up the Widow Thorn, telling her t
come in, for the doctor was ill an
didn't know anybody. Hastily throw
ing on her dress, in she went, and say
nim lying there in a state oil collapse
WIN his wig over one eye.
''GiDger and cayenne pepper an
brandyp ordered the little widow
while sne held his head. Then, forcin
' the fiery dose downhis throat, she hel
him tigut while he Spluttered and easpe