Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1878-10-12
The Very Small NewsbOy's Very Small
Story.

Story. .-.
I'm older nor look. I'm most Z.
How do 1 knowp Cause me mudder
tole me so fore she died. She died last
Thanksgivin' day, an Billy she
sez, eyer VERY little feller to leave
all alone in der worrel," she sez. "Ony
"Our Farder " an sumfn else, and
soup der Thanksgivin' man wild der
white choker give her, an so 1 eats it
meself No, hain't got no farder, and
my big brudder ruined away long ago,
he did, an so he's no good. An me
names Billy Stewit, but der boys calls
me "Small Pertaters;'' and s-a-a-y,
locker here-er now, wot dyer want ter
know all bout me fur, wen der hain't
notin' fur nobody to knowP An can't
can't STAN here chinnin all, 1 can't. I
! got to sell me papers an make me liv-
In
Hc-Yauy papers have gotP Twelve
! an one hefrowed in ter make it even,
Wot dyer s-a-a-y? You'll buy 'em allp
Who-ai EmmefLTake 'em an fire
ahead wild yer kwestions.
| I boards wild Auntie Clepathuwoar.
No, can't spell it. Ican'tspell notin'
but se-n-t-cent-d-i-m -i-m-dime-an
Bile Billy. Yes, III spell it after
you, but l won't member. Cleo
p-a-t-r-a. It's awful long wen yer spells
it, so wot's der good of spellin' itp
She's black, she is, but she's gooder nor
lots of wite women, an she keeps
doughnuts an coughfee fur boys wen it's
cole, an ice-cream, an watermelling an
leminade wen it's hot, an sometimes
she sells hot corn in a fowl in pail,
an hot corn's better fur fellers nor lem
made an watermelling, cause it don't
give 'em der stummick ache. Stun
mick ache is perlite, Auntie Clepat sez,
but dat odder word hain't. An / goes
dare to live wen 1 goes inter bisniss, an
four odder fellers lives dare too. In a
CELLAR VERY nice cellar-werry few
rats an floor, an she likes me more
nor any of der rest of 'em. How do
know she likes me best? Cause she
puts two spoonfuls of 'lasses in me cof-
fee an ony one in der odder fellers'.
Jim Roach, he punched me head fur it
wuust, but she punched him back good.
No, didn't go dare ter live soon as me
mudder died. / lived wild woman wot
beat me wild a jug in der mornin' an a
black bottil mites. She cut me head
wun mite, she does, an wen she falls on
ter der floor an snores, cuts an runs,
am den l goes inter dismiss. Wot dyer
sa-a-yP How did l go inter bisiness?
Out of safe. I'm goin' ter tell yer if
yer'll keep quiet a minnit. Dat mite me
head wos cut l walks 'roun' an 'roun'
der streets an keeps a-shyin' of der
cops, cause 1 wos 'fraid dey'd take me
in, an l wos awful cole, an it wos a.
snowin' an a-snowin', an l has no.
WHARF ter go ter, an 1 finds no place
ter crtep inter, an der wind wos a
blowin' an a-blowin' an a-blowin' wen
comes ter a safe a-standin' on der
sidewalk fore big store -wun of dem
safes wot can't be burnt up no how.
Au' der door wos a-swingin' an a.
swingin', an der wind wos a-blowin' am
a-blowin'. an l sez ter meself, sez I,
There's a very ccmterble hotel fur
Small Pertaters," an in 1 pops, wen
der wind blows harder nor ever, an
bang! goes der door, an dare 1 is shut
in tile. pounds wild me fists an 1
keeks wild me feet an screeches like
good uu, but nobody don't hear me.
hears dem goin' by, but dey don't
hear me. An was dare uwful long
time an finally hear no more people, 1
don't an a big clock in der store strikes
whistlin' an yells like wun of dem
locomotives an somebody stops whist
lin and hollers out "wot's dot?" An I
yells again 'sLemme out, lemme out"
An somebody else comes along an dey
talks, an talks, an den dey tries an
tries, but dey can't open der door. An
hears cop bang his club an anodder
bang his'n an dey boff comes an bangs
| Aa,.H ~ OF loct fin
-dey sez it was rusted a'settin' in der
street-an' it falls in onter me an dey
pulls it off an pops out. An der wos
a old genelman wild big nose an W lite
hair an rumberel dare, an
he sez: "Who are yer, me lad,
an wot yer doin' here?" An 1
tells him bout der jug an der
black bottil, an he takes me ham
an we goes ter a doctor-shop an has
me head washed an tied up wild a rag.
An Auntie Clepathuwoar she comes in
fur free cents wuth pep mint, an she
sez: "I'll take him wild me ter-nite,"
she sez. An der big nosed man sez
all-rite," he sez. An he gives her
dollar an he gives me dollar, an der
mex mornin' me heads mos well an 1
goes ter der Duke of der gutter-dat
big chap wot keeps der big STAN ober
dare on der corner-an' buys q lot of
papers an sets up in bis'ness, an dat's
all
Wot yer handin' 'em back fur? Hain't
yer goin' to buy 'em after allP Look
er-he-er, now, dat's mean! Wot dyer
5000 -oooyp may have der papers an
der money, too? Who-o-a, Emmerp
Won't me an sonnie have pie and pea
nuts ter mite! You bet! Who's sonnie!
He's little bit of feller only five, an
!, his mudder's dead, too, an his ladders
gone away in der :" Black Marier."
takes care of him, does, an wen he
grows up he's goin' to be me partner,
he is.
Here's der Post, EUenin' Mail, EI-
press aud Telegram! -Margaret Eytinge,
in the Detroit Free Press.