The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1878-04-04
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FOIIING A RIVAL.

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FOILING A RIVAL.
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The critter loves mel know sht
loves mel + said Jonathan Doublikins
as he sat on the cornfeld fencs, medi.
tating on the course of true love, thai
was running just as Shakespeare al.
ways said it did-rather roughly. III
Suke Peabody has taken q shine tc
that gawky, -shankod, stammerin
shy critter, Gusset, just cause he's q
city feller, she ain't the gal took her
fer, that's sartain. No, it's the old
folks, darn their ugly picturs- Old
Mrs. Peabody was alters q dreadful
high-falutin critter, full Of big notions
and the old mans soft head is driven
about by our cantankerous Dorkin
hen. But if I don't spile his fun then
my name ain't Jonathan. I'm going
down to the city by the railroad next
week. and when I come back, wake
snakes, that's all. s, - .a.,
The above soliloquy may serve to
give the reader some slight idea of the
lay of the land, in the pleasant village
where the speaker resided.
Jonathan Doublikins was a young
farmer, well to do in the world, and
looking out for wife, and had been
paying his addresses to Miss Susan
Peabody, of that ilk, with fair pros.
pect OF success. when . city acquaint
ance of the Peabody's, one Mr.. Cor
nelius Gussett, who kept retail dry
goods store in Hanover street, Boston,
had suddenly made his appearance ir
the field, and commenced the cutting
out game. Dazzled with the prospect
of becoming . gentleman's wife, pes
tered by the opportunities of hel
mamma, the village beauty had begun
to waver, when her old lover had de-
termined on last bold stroke to fol
his rival. He went to the city and re
turned; Of his business there he sale
nothing, not even to the pumping
maiden aunt who kept house for him
He went not near the Peabodys, bu
labored in his corn fields and garden
patiently awaiting the result of hi
machinations.s - ssG1
The next day Mr.. Gussett was sit
ting with the old folks and thei
daughter, in the best room of Peabod.
mansion, chatting as pleasantly as ma,
be, when the door opened, and il
rused furious Irish woman.
SIS it here ye are, Misther Corn eliua
che exclaimed, addressing the aston
ished Gussett. 'Come out of that be
fore I fetch ye, ye spalpeen! is tina
what ye promised me afore the praiste
ye haythen naygur? Cummin' ava.
from me and the childer, forsakin' yel
lawful and welded wife, and runninl
after Yankee girls, ye infidell
Woman, there must be some mis-
take here stammered Gusset, takel
all aback by the charge.
'Divil bit of mistake, ye sarpent
Oh! warrai was it for the like of y,
sacked Dennis Mccarthy. who lovet
the very ground I trod on, and all be
kase ye promised to make lady o
me, ye dirty thafe Of the wurruld
Will ye come along to the railroa,
station, where left little Patrick, be
cause he was TOO sick with the small
pox to come any furder, or will y
wait till drag YEP
.Go-go-along,' gasped Gussett,
sgo and I'll follow you.'
He thought it best to temporize.
Il give ye ten minits,' said the yira
CO.. IF We amt there thin, it's m,
cousin, Mr.. Thuddy Tulgrodery, viii
be afther ye, ye thafep And ava
went the unbidden guest.
Mr.. Gussett was yet engaged il
stammering out denial of all knowl
edge of the virago, when the parlo
door opened and q little black-eyed
hatchet-faced woman, In q flashy sill
gown, and cap with many ribbon
perched on top of her head, invsde
the sanctity Of the parlor.
sls he here ?, che cried in a decide,
accent. Then she added, with
scream, sAh-mon dieui la VOLTA
Here he is. Traitre, monstre Vat fo
you run away from me? Dis two Q
tree year. never see You, nevai
and my heart broke very bad entirel,
who are your cried Gussett, hi
eyes starting out of his head and shi,
ering from head to foot.
He asks who I ami o ladies
you respectable old gentlehomme
hear you vot he ask Who am I? Pc
rifiedi am your wife,
Il never saw you before ia my lif
so help me God,' cried Gussett enc
getically.. =
Don't you swearl' said Deace
Peabody. EFF you do I'll kick "
g into fits, by golly. I won't have i
!. profane nor vulgar language in n
n n house,
e %, bless you respectable old maj
dell him he mus come Wis me. d.
him / hev spoke to 70 constable-D,
him-p sobs interrupted her utteran
It's q pesky bad business said t
Deacon, chatting with unwonted Il
= Gussstt. you're Z rascal