Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1878-11-15
The Fat Contributor.

In beginning a series of sketches CON
cerning the youthful days of eminent
people, it seems eminently fitting that
we commence with Adam. 1t is rather
difficult to conceive Adam as boy, we
admit, owing to the popular superstition
that has painted him as coming into the
world full-grown, with whiskers and
mustache complete, and a prevailing be-
lief that there wasn't boy in the world
until Eve came and raised the Old Boy
with Adam; yet we prefer to think of
our ancient progenitor as having had
something of a boyhood, and we suppose
we have as good right to theorize up
on this subject as anybody else.
Adam was probably as mischievous.
naturally, as boys generally are. In
fact, Darwin says he was "a perfect lit
tie monkey" which, we believe, is a
synonym for mischievousness the world
over. But he had no companions in his
gambols. If he staid out after dark and
got to cutting up, it was all by himself
And what sport could he have ringing
door-bells without lot of other boys to
scamper away with? And consider the
melancholy fun of fastening cords
across the walks at night with nobody
to trip over them
We can imagine young Adam, with all
the instincts of boy two inches thick
in his nature, looking about for some
way to divert himself as other boys do,
and whispering to himself, Cant have
any fun"
Of course he couldn't by any possibil-
Nv 4 oyo on1, f,,,, NJ f,o ~,
from school, OF stealing off to go in
swimming, because there was no one to
lick him when he got home. No fun
sneaking up into the hay NOW to in
dulge in a surreptitious game Of euchre
always had to play it alone" He
couldn't play tag" because he might
yell I've got the tag all day, and there
would be no one to come and take it
away from him. "Hi-spi" mad no charm,
for a boy soon gets tired of hiding when
he has to go to work to find himself
And where is there boy who likes to
work and find himself?'
The more we think of Adams lonely
boyhood the more we are inclined to
pity him. He never knew what cir
Gus meant, at least not until Eve came
and introduced him to one. But we
have nothing to do with that now as we
are only treating of Adams boyhood.
True, there was big menagerie all
around him, but the animals were tame
affairs, lambs and lions lying down to-
gether in the most spiritless concord,
and the hippopotamuses and Canary
birds playing with cath other like kit
tens. Little Adam never sat way up on
the highest seat and gazed awe stricken,
while man in spangled tights sprang,
whip in hand, into a cage Of savage
beasts that rolled their eyes, CRASHED
their teeth and roared until the canvas
overhead tapped for very fear! No, in
deed.
He never saw thin legged female in
short skirts ride a Looping horse around
a ring, and jump through hoop, while
man with his face painted white and
his mouth red exaggeration, tells that
convulsive story about stuffing hay into
his shoes to fill them out, and his calves
going down to eat the hay. Young
Adam never saw the old clown, though
he came very soon after Adams day,
and the jokes he commenced with he
has been getting off ever since.
And how about base ball? Do you
suppose that Adam knew anything
about that exhilerating diversion that
is now doing so much toward developing
the intellects of our American youth?
There is no likelihood of it, not while
he was boy. His son Cain, however,
seems to have been the first who got up