Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1878-07-27
A LITTLE OF EVERYTHING.

Recognized rank-Boarding mouse
butter.
A scolding wife will make a
shrew'd man.
Cents of duty-Those paid at the
Custom House.
A roomer in the streets-The chap
that always sleeps in the gutter.
How to find an official out-Go to
his office during business hours.
Speculation-A word that some
times begins with its second letter.
A barber in Rockport became
dumb. He is now immensely
wealthy.
What overwhelming bliss to re-
ceive a shower of compliments from
a reigning belle!
Why don't Miss Kellogg marry
an editor and be done with it2 She
wants poor man.
There is such revival of religion
among the negroes of Atlanta that
no one can get any washing done.
Mr.. Stewart L. Woodford advo-
Gates the election of congressman
at large" Too many of them are at
large now.
Who hath woe-who hath sorrow2
Well, that Nevada man who traded a
mule for wife feels about as red
around the ewes as any of EN-.
We call the Hon. Clarkson N.
Potter's attention to an article in the
Popular Science Monthly wherein it
is shown that hanging is painless.
A conclusive reply has been given
to some clever articles in cotempo-
rary, entitled, SIS life worth livingl"
The answer is at depends on the
liver"
Old Whackem, the schoolmaster,
who was packing up some popcorn
last season, on being asked what he
was about, said he was boxing his
own ears"
Phenix girls have begun to go on
picnic excursions, and sit down on
bugs and bees.-Fulton Times. Then
il is true the female phoenix rises
N. Y. News.
There is a revived furore for the
English walking hat. The sides
are not turned up so high nor so
close to the brim as they used to be,
and the front has rounded effect.
The just published report of an
Irish benevolent society says: "Not-
withstanding the large amount paid
for medical attendance, very few
deaths have occurred during the year."
1t is a singular coincidence that
whenever there is pigeon shoot or
horse-trot in this vicinity, the noti-
ces on the doors indicate that all the
lawyers are out Of town trying
cases.
A correspondent of the Scientific
American wants to know show hu-
man skin can be tanned" He must
have been a remarkable good boy
when he went to school not to have
Termed that among the other branch
es.
The great journalists are rapidly
dropping off-Raymond, Bennett,
Greeley, and now Bryant. And our
physician has advised us to take ex-
ercise.-Norristown Herald. That
must be saving to you, for exer-
else 10 free, and the other stuff is 10
cents a glass.
College Professor Ito Junior who
has been taking advantage of his
absentminedness): Young man l
find, on looking over the records,
that this makes the fifth time in two
years that you have been granted
leave of absence to attend your grand
mothers funeral"
There we're five of them, and they
assembled in cigar store. The
subject was in regard to horse racing.
Said a hack driver who was present.
."Talk about your fast time! Why,
I've seen horse trot mile in :0O.."
Impossible2" said the cigar store pro-
prietor. ut can't be done! The
best time l ever heard of was 2:141<."
Said the hackman, I'll bet you five
dollars l can prove what I say.n
Taken by the cigar man, coin put up,
and referee chosen. In drawling
voice the hackman explained to the
man Of cigars, "Don't you know,
you idiot, that ] 100 is two minutes
and thirty secondsq" Turning to the
stakeholder the tobacconist then said,
give him the money; it's worth IS
to know what fool I ami