Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1878-01-10
HuniOr.

Hum0r.
The New York brewers are hon-niro
mad at the enforcement of the eIc;so
laws >' e->'i'e
The cable tells us that five hundred
cotton operatives recently struck in
England. This must be a case of cot
ton batting.
See, Mamma" exclaimed little one.
as puss. with archmg and elevated rud-
der, strutting around the table "see,
kltty's eat so much she can't shut her
tail down"
Professor In one evening I counted
twenty-seven meteors sitting on nv pi-
azza" Glass expresses great astonish-
ment at the sociahle character of heav-
emily bodies.
Marlah Mariah please slet me
In p said man to his wife, who was
| looking out of the window Watching him
trying to open the door with a tooth
pick. Ish tread on my key, and it'sh
al tlattened out"
The coolest storm wave of the season
was experienced by young man from
! Syracuse, who escorted an East Rome
girl home Sunday night, and was de-
tected by her father Just as he was put
ting his mustache where it would do her
the most good.-Ronae Sentinel
When a girl gets mad and rises from
a fellows knee says an exchange, {" but
thinks better Of it and goes back again,
that's what they call relapse" And
here we have been working for dear life
to keep off a relapse under the impress
sion that 1t was some way related TO
cholera morbus.-ROne Sentinel
One Of the most versatile ladies
that ever graced the Deadwood stage"
has packed her kit, " lit out from the
land of the bowling wilderness" and is
EN- route for Chicago, where she will
"chaw scenery and "whoop it up on
old Terpsichore." So states Il personal
in the Black Hills Champion, which la
ments her departure.
Roll on, silver MOON" warbled a
youth beneath the window of his loved
one, when the queen of his thoughts
softly raised the sash and murmrired
"You had better roll on something bet
ter than a ninety-two cent moon, VIII
liam, if you expect to get up to pa he
is hard money, he is" The window slid
down, and the demoralized silver Bill
slid off, coming excavations in the Bland
atmOsphere.-Com. Bulletin.
A Digger" from California, eulogis-
ing the climate, says: "There'sa noun
tain there the Sawyer Navaday they
call it-with q valley on each side of it
the one hot, and t'other cold Well
| hn of hot toi,
double-barreled gun, and you can, with
game, jest as you will" "What have
you ever tried it," "Tried it often
and should have done pretty we'll but
for one thing" "Well, what was that?"
Il wanted a dog that qcOuM stand both
climates. The last dog l had .trose off his
tail while 'pintin' on the summer side.
He didn't get entirely out of the winter
side: you see."
IT'S the dulcet voice of fair Colorado
girl, speaking to her noble brother, who
has been out all night Milky Rocks,
that stiff's too thin; you see | am up to
snuff; you bet Pm on to the boys now,
and you might as we'll cheese your
racket about staying up with a sick
friend. | heard about your drinking
three straights and whisky sour at
Bill Rye's saloon, and then went down
to old Bourbon's place and give him
the finger for blue-blazer and hot
rum punch. When you were playing
fifteen-ball pool with Ike Smith, didn't
you get stuck for six straight games
and the drinks and stand him off
for the whole business? Oh ! but
you're a staver, and the first thing you
know you Will have bad case of the
jims, and then everybody about town
will say you were pretty good fellow,
but too much Of kid to run with thor
OuphbredS."