The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1878-01-06
CHAT BY THE WAY.

Muir morning aud evening.
| CHAT BY THE WAY.
The difficulty about telling lilo Is that II involves
too much: you have TO tell dozen In ORDER TO prop
erly back up the FIRST one.
Black eyes ure some times the beautiful git Of
nature and sometimes they the result OF matr-
monial ufelicly.
If you are always finding fault with other people
! you may be that there Is good opportunity for
some to md iaut with you. You can't attend to
other folks gardens without letting your own run to
weeds.
Tho d,ihcuity With matrmony Is It's uncertainty.
Sometimes my plague, sometimes my darling,
Kissing 10 day aud Tomorrow snaring
II was at tho battle OF Edge Hill that Sir Jacob
Ashley made his remarkable prayer:-"Oh, Lordl
Thou knowest how busy must DO this day; II Tor
get Thee, do not Thou forget mo. March on. boys"
Some men, when In tho company Of rich man, are
tho empty echo Of the rich mans voice. II he says
"lt Is very ike q whale" or "It is bumped like
catnel.n they arc sure to swear that is right,
though the subject under discussion may be a pound
OF candy or a sowing machine. We delight to lawn
In the presence million naire whose very contempt
Is gilt we highly prize Some one has aptiy called
this "serpcntine prudence" and "Columbne simple
iy" We apt TO be tyrants to those below US and
iackeys 10 those above We too much ike tho
poor TOOL who In the presence Of The king
Would MOI. with perez ptory tone,
Assert, the nose upon his lace bis own.
There Is a new and startling question for scientific
men TO answer We thought it hard, indeed, whom
Darwin told us that wc were all descended from
keys but some ono asks II keys have not de-
seen ded from The fact IL We ore, like one OF
Dickens novels .'ail OF twist'' In this matter II
Tyndali would only fluid that "hfth too' and settle
matter the hard times would be over and business
revive again. How can expect anything better
than panic until have discovered whether f'i'
Chattcring monkeys mimic men,
Or we. turned apes, outmonkcy them?
It is said that the only thing in Europe which can
compete with General Grant In smoking Is Mount
vcsuytus. Tho General is. however. good natured
"crater and does not Intend 10 push tho mountain
beyond It's regular habits.
The first question which was asked when Bonner
sped to parts unknown whether he Sunday
school superintendent When it was discovered that
be WAS not the religious community breathed more
freely, because, you know, the innocent and simple
minded world IL at present laboring under the deu
sion that only religious people swindle.
Would you regard this as complimentary or prob
lematical2 "N-lic my little girl. do you ike having
ride on my knees' The simple, artless child re.
Piled, Eyes, papa pretty we'll, but not as well AS 10
know" The father pondercd on tina. saying, and,
lighting another cigar, concluded that childhood ID
wise beyond It's years.
George Herbert once sang--
VINO Is the houest man
VINO never melts or thnws
At close temptations2
II this is only poetry we can commend the rhythm ;
but II 1t 10 conundrum shall have give It up
The moral atmosphere is just dense AMI dark
| fac oude bnu hard I'm
! the "honcst man" II We found him. The other KIND
however, are colonizing In Canada
1he beat way TO induce sleep Is to shut your eyes
and think OF nothing An old man told his minister
that he did thus one Sunday morning while he was
presching and that It worked admirably. Tho minis
| ter asked hmwhy he did not think OF tho sermon,
aud the old man replied naivcly that that just
what he Was thinking about, and that II was
to nothing that the difference could DO perceived
and 20 no dropped of into quiet aud refreshing
slum5cr.
There has been discussion Of late about the right
aud wrong OF the dance. Some church people are
very much disturbed at the sanction which their
roctors gvo to this recreation. The thought OF the
clergy this subject has been put. into jingle by
| colored genius
| Rene mbcr masser-min' dis pow-do snfuinoss OBJ
Is pendin' pom dc spcrrit wat and does It In
A tconn' hks King David whom ho cut dc pigeon
wing
Our ideas of heaven are largely affected by
stances Tom Moore said:-
A Pcrsan's heaven II easily made
rus but black eyes aud lemonade.
To tho average North American mind, however,
heaven Is place where book agents never enter,
while to The high cnurchman heaven is any place Ia
the here hereafter where the rector doer not In.
vito Nr KiInball TO compel the people TO pay tho
church debt.
We never like 10 laugh at u mans troubles or mis-
fortunes but sometimes prodcamcnt positively de-
Inands smile. The other day, the story goes, but
Is too good 10 BIO true convert presented himsolf
70 tho Blptists tor immersion. Ito led into tho
water, but at the critical moment OF his legs
70 she surface, In spite OF every effort t. submorgo IT..
ana tho poor lost his baauce A struggle ensued,
AID the victim, pulling and blowing. was liked onco
moro in n perpendicular position. As soon as he
moved, however, that ntractaoe Icy tho sur
face again. and tho poor follow compelled TO confess
that IT WAS made OF cork When 1t dew up the head
won't down. OF course, aud was found Impossible 10
baptz the convert without drowning him. The qdes-
lion arises, can sucn man, who can't possibly be
baptized In tho regular way, DC received into iu
fellowship 1t is terrible ecclesiastical dilemma, and
| shows conclusivey that mon with wooden legs or
wooden heads not good timber Tor the Baptist do
| nomination.
Clergyman have not always been paid as we'll as
now for thoir services While II Is trac that
| The pulpits laws the puipi's patrons give;
| Those VINO live 10 preach must preach TO 1.-Two.
IL also true that tho clerical profession has never
been over rcmunerated. good master workman, bo
he carpenter or mason, receives moro money Tor his
services than the Average ministcr People dont like
to take medicine, neither do they like ~ tor