Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1878-08-14
TERMS:
A LITTLE OF EVERYTHING.

The early apple catches the small
boy. And the small boy catches his
breath between cramps.
An American who gets money may
remain home and be gentleman or
90 abroad and act like snob.
DoQs beat dentists. They insert
natural teeth. But it is putting them
in that hurts, rather than the pull
ing them out.
A chap on Long Island named his
little boy Brete Tarte. No one but
an acid think Of picking out name
like that.
We have the dollar of our fathers,
SO far ss Congress can give them,
and yet they seem farther off than
ever. 1t hadu's daughter be 90, eh2
An unsuccessful lover was asked
by what means he lost his Divinity
"Alas!" cried he, II fiattered her
until she got too proud to speak to
me-" eEle
Out of ten thousand persons only
one reaches his hundreth year, only
one in five hundred his eightieth, and
only one 10 one hundred his sixty
fif.h.
Tom Thumb has grown bald-head-
ed, lost his teeth, and has to wear
spectacles, but the bills put him
down at the same old reliable age,
90 years.
America heretofore has been def
.cieut lp the matter Of old ruins, but
q number of old political frauds are
now.being ruined, and that is some
thing to be proud of.
"John," said cockncy solicitor to
his son, ~. see you'll never do for
an attorney, you have no henergy.'
'"Skuse me, father" said John, what
l want is some of your chickanary."
A popular institution of learning
in New York, State is the Rye Semi
nary. In this part of the country
men of the old Rye school are not
considered as thoroughly reliable.
Backward, turn backward, o time
in your fight, let me remember when
last l was tight. Wife at the win
dow, her ma at the door; you all
know how It, is who have been there
before.
A good book aud good woman
are excellent things for those who
know how to justly appreciate their
value. There are men, however, who
judge of both from the beauty Of the
covering.
"How do you keep your wife from
finding you out2" asked one college
friend of another, after they had
both been married few months.
"By always being home at proper
hours" was the conclusive reply.
The woman who shuffies around
, In cloth slippers, broken down at
the heel, and wipes her nose on q
,;flat-iron holder. is the one who leaves
gristle in her mince pies and runs
a hairpin in her bread to see if It is
done.
Many editors around the country
are telling what they can see from
their sanctum windows. Well, we
can see rivers bed, q garden fence.
q railroad track and street walk
Ex. We suppose you can also see a
road bend and tree bough.
1t was just pouring down when
she admitted him aud claimed him
- her rain-b beau, because she had
taken him out of the wet. He re-
fccted that rainbow was sign Of
promise and was very circumspect
In bis actions.
A gentleman carried q letter of
introduction from friend to q stran-
ger. The stranger received him
,c6olly and showed him the door. A
little Investigation showed him the
reason. The letter said: "Treat him
like trump" but the stranger read
It, "Treat him like tramp"
According to that wicked sheet,
the News Letter, there is a girl il
Santa Barbara with such big mouth
that the other day, when she smiled
at fellow on the street, kind-heart-
ed little boy exclaimed with great
earnestness. ".o0k out, miss, your
lids coming OFT"
When . St. Louis woman trims ber
corns she 10 not allowed to throw the
parings into the streets, as the gar
bage man insists that 1t is no part of
his business TO remove grindstones,
and It would require extra wagons,
which he cannot afford during the