Litchfield enquirer., 1878-10-24
Ic's A4 hEI EIc1pp1NGs
The mosquito. employs no collector to pres

The mosquito employs no collector to present
 You cannot always tell by the way person dresses whether his pew is paid fer.
 %9 don't like that cat any more, saida four year-old. 'Its got splinters in it's feet" It is better to rise from your knees and shut your hens ont of your neighbor's yard than to indulge in long prayers.
 TheiDanbury News says a strong grasp | betokens strong heart. What magnificent heart lobster must have
 l. Theologically Bob Ingersoll is ''soft." Finan- cially he is "hard and yet the general belief
 is that he is irredeemable.
 Taking him down-Young lady toa junior
 "Man should not be alone !" Junior: ''Correct!" !" Young lady: ''Therefore he should buy dog!" E Probably there is nothing in the world that
 man resents so quickly and so deeply as to find you awfully busy when he is perfectly at leisure. .. ..t. ,
 The Walingford tornado is supposed to
 have been one of Dennis Kearneys speeches which went off by accident.- ', The Vor HumanG says of the writer of a new sentimental song that the words show him to have soft heart, and the music proves the same fact for his head.
 From the time a boy is eight years old until heis thirteen he5devdtes two solid hours of every day of his busy life to learning how to make new kind of noise.
 FTalleyrand remarked one evening" at Hol- land House that Cardinal Mazarin esdeceived, :, but did not he," whereas M de Metternich, shS added tSlin0 hut never dncnivnd
 F, A naturalist claims to have discovered that crows, swllen in flocks, have regularly 'organ- ized courts, in which they sit around and try offenders-a sort of crow bar, soto speak, Four newsboys while singing "Whoa, Emma!" the other afternoon, were invited to soda and cake shop by passing philan- thropist, and left there'b him to pay the bilI This should be warning to boys oriTE9 b ON THEc, PRoyDEEoE, BoAr.-Thoughtless Friend ''Give-it up, Jim; let her go,S and you'll feel all light, j" 31 $ W RDSE Thrifty New Englander (dstiqmt tn Agony) -1Let her goe I ain't treatin' Long Island Sound to no $1.5O dinners, aint !"-
 The remains of man were. found near pic,nic, ground the other day and it is sup posed he must have Sbeen insane and looked happy on his way home and was ruthlessly slaughtered by the rest of the party sl
 A well-known local combination of black sheep black leg and blackguard was recently reported to the governing committee of his club for cheating at cards. He was very much astonished at so frivolous a charge. Great heavens l" he exclaimed indignantly, swhat do yousuppose I joined your internal old club for ?"
 s----s t-~0t-r Sr- "A. -N nET~1-T c--..fn my aifly days" remarked Il e old man as he shoveled coal into the school-house bin, 'they didn't use coal to keep us school young 'uns warm, kin tell you" "What did they
 use 7" asked boy near by. A sad ffar-awa look seemed to pass over the old mans face as The quietly responded, ''birch--myl boy birch" People have different notions of time. A landlord, who is his own rent-conector, recents
 y called on an old tenant, who with pale, trembling lips, falteret, .sIm very sorry. but times are so bad, nand- and Tnsa net Sqllite ready. If yoa could only give nie Il little time" t''Well, well you have always been a good payer." said thef landlord, 1"Al little | time-ell2 Certainly. L am going up stairs aad-Lwill look in as4 come downs' 1 - sT One day young man preached before the l conference on Lots wife. He had poor 6AlIlc OuCC OIs bWIGc II ScGLIcU tll0b u6 WOuiU break completely down. He saw the late Bishop James before him, and that made mat ters worse. ''Bishop, what do you think was 1 ihe natter with me this morning I can do a great deal better than that. "Quite likely. |" replied the Bishop. 'Trouble was in 5your 1 subject. You had better let women alone. I
 never knew any good to come to a Methoiist
 minister from meddling with other mems l wives.v zt-Nts) 4tts -F. ' s8 R ra gH l If it takes one hog to make ham how many | hogs will it take to make a hammer P White- | aGu Tunes. fit takes one egg to make a nogg How many eggs will it take to make an augur? --lSt. Lo9is Dtspatchla If it takes one horse shoe to make a pitch how many shoes will it take to make pitcher? -7enS Peopie. If it takes one baby to make waif, how many l babies will it take to make G wafer aD@ .Noines Ledter. If it takes one boy to make din how many boys will it take to make q dinner P Keokak CH1sEtkEmsx 2 Ii h takes a pint of saMdust to make . doll how riueh'saw- dust will it take to make dollar. Respect fully dedicated to the friends of fiat money.
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