davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1878-05-15
Bound to Keep Pace.

There are hardware men in Detroit
who keep cook-stove at the store door
as sign, and that the stove may not be
injured by rust they paint it over. The
other day one of them who had stove
with red legs, white covers and blue
top secured an old farmer for customer.
The farmer stipulated for stove "just
like that" and ordered it sent home by
the team of q neighbor. A stove of the
size and pattern was selected and sent
away in good shape, and all was lovely
until the next day. Then the farmer
and his wife came in with their own
team, having the stove in the wagon.
The husband held the lines while the
wife entered the store and remarked:
"When we buy certain kind of
stove we don't like to be put off with
another"
"Why, madam, isn't that stove all
right ?" asked the man that sold it.
"No, sir, it isn't! You sold my old
man a stove with red legs and white
covers, and a blue border around the
top, and that one out in the wagon is
stove! !"
"Why-why-" he tried to explain,
but she waved him around and declared:
"We're old folks, and we live out
among the frogs and owls, but we keep
pace with the styles just as much as
anyone, and you can't palm off any scrub
stoves on usr'
The men could hardly lift ten pounds
apiece as they exchanged the nicely pol
ished stove for the one with red legs,
but the old lady thought it was because
they we're 80 mad.
There-that stove has got some tone
about it I" she muttered, as it was loaded
up. "I don't want to appear capt.lrous,
but if style demands red-legged stove
then I 60 in for the gorgeous with the
rest of 'em, and I'll gild the stove-pipe
to boot F'-Detroit Free Press. ....
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1878-05-15
CIerIcal Experiences.

Edward Eggleston, in writing OF the
New York POST Office and it's methods
Of testing the fitness of applicants, says:
The swarm of applicants for places in
the Office are tested by examinations
also. but these look more to their gen
eral intelligence. was permitted to
gee some of the very original answers on
the examination papers. One question,
"What has been your clerical expert
ence ?" is veritable pons asinoratna to
the applicants, and many are the dom
KEYS who are lost here. Most of them
take clerical in it's ecclesiastical sense.
One man answers that his clerical expo
rience has been Catholic" and SO
through all the denominations. One
man responds by saying, "Have taught
in Sunday-school." Another man has
not had any occasion to deal with clergy
men, for in answering the question as to
his "clerical experience" he breaks
out, "Well, I was never sick a day in
nv life." There are others who give the
term o wider sense. One answers,
"Compositor;" another, Working as
porter in store;" while third hits it
exactly when be says, Making horse
! collars"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1878-05-15
Whence His Wealth.

One of the ricest Cinnamon in this city,
says San Francisco paper, is doubtless
Mr. Chew Kow Yup, who came to this
city a penniless Mongolian thief about
seven years ago. All his wealth has
been obtained by committing to memory
four simple words, "You savee me
leper." The second night after
his arrival he broke into dry goods
store, and was just carrying away his
booty when a policeman collared him,
and prepared to march him down to the
City Hall. He made no resistance, but
innocently remarked, "You savee me
leper," and officer Mulligan fled wildly
toward North Beach egiving his prisoner
the opportunity to steal seven more un-
dershirts, of which he promptly availed
himself. He was only once brought
into court, being then charged with
a wholesale diamond robbery, and when
asked to plead guilty or not guilty, he
simply repeated the words of his charm,
in a voice at once plaintive and full of
expression. The court was cleared in
less than forty seconds, two Of the jury
leaving their hats behind, and the Judge
his gold spectacles, all of which MIR.
Chew Row Yup appropriated, together
with the loose change in the clerks
drawer. The wealthy heather is entire
ly free from leprosy. BE will sail IN
the next steamer for Hong Kong with
about $4,000.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1878-05-15
One Hundred Years Ago.

One hundred years ago not pound OF
coal, not a cubic foot Of Illuminating
gas had been burned in this country.
No iron stoves were used, and no con-
trivance economizing heat employed un-
til DIR. Franklin invented the iron-fram-
ed fireplace, which still bears his name.
All the cooking and warming in town
and country were done by the aid of fire,
kindled in the brick oven or on the
hearth. Pine knots or tallow candles
furnished the light for the long winter
nights, and sanded floors supplied the
place of rugs and carpets. The water
used for household purpose was drawn
from deep wells by the creaking sweep.
No form of pump was used in this coun-
try 30 far as we can learn, until after the
commencement of the present century.
There we're no friction matches in those
early days, by the aid of which fire
could be easily kindled; and if the fire
"wenf out upon the hearth over night,
and the tinder was damp, so that the
sparks would not catch, the alternative
was presented of wandering through the
snow a mile or 30 to borrow of q neigh
Dor. Only one room in any house was
warm, unless some Of the family were
i'll. In all the rest the temperature was
at zero many nights in the winter. =
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1878-05-15
Blown In and then Married.

An English tourist fell madly in love
with Scotch vivandiere at Balaklavs,
and bored her with his addresses. The
Young woman, no longer able to endure
the annoyance, forbade him the door.
After many vain attempt to overrule
the objections, the tourist determined
to commit suicide, but, in presence of
the great events which were being
played out, in no paltry manner. Hav-
ing first bequeathed his fortune to the
vivandiere, he caused q deep hole to be
dug, in which he placed twenty pounds
of powder over this excavation slab
was laid, and upon it the rejected one,
cigar in mouth, took his seat. he tran
gully finished his weed, and then ap-
piled the expiring embers to the maga.
zine below. An explosion followed, and
two minutes later a charred mass de-
scending from the heavens fell into the
port-c. mass which astonished British
seamen recognized as human body,
and proceeded to fish from the water.
There was a cry of "a man from
Heaven I" some declared that he had
been kicked out of the sun, and others
that he was an eronaut come to grief.
However, the man came round, and the
vivandiere, touched by this proof Of
affection, capitulated.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1878-05-15
An Enchanted Metal.

Among the most remarkable features
of the progress made in modern times,
are the new metals which have been add
ed to the ancient list. Gold and silver,
copper, iron, lead, etc., these have been
familiar for thousands of years, but it is
only comparatively recently that the OK.
istenee Of other metals has been demon
strated. The last discovery is Galium,
which possesses such singular properties
as to seem enchanted. In general ap-
pearance it looks like lead, though it is
not of 80 blue color, and might be
termed an exaggerated lead on account
of the extreme facility with which it can
be melted. An amount of heat less than
that of the hand fs6o F.) reduces it to q
state of fusion, when it resembles quick
silver. Though subjected to cold down
to zero, it does not become hard again,
but remains liquid metal till touched
with piece of solid gallium, when it re-
turns to its original condition as If be-
meath the wand of q magician. A species
of alum may be derived from it, not to
be distinguished from common alum
without chemical analysis. Gallium is
flexible, and can be hammered Like lead,
or cut with knife; but it only becomes
slightly tarnished in damp atmosphere.
It crystallizes in the shape of an octahed-
ron. At present it is rare metal, only
about dozen grains having been e1-
tracted from half ton of zinc-blende
from the Pyrenees. The discovery is a
great triumph and testimony to the
truth of scientific theories, because it
was forseen by three independent obser-
vers some time before demonstration.
Mr.. Newlands, an English chemist, had
several years before expressed his belief
in the existence of metal of the kind.
NJ. Mendelejeff, Russian, predicted
from study of the atomic numbers OF
the elements, that metal would be
found to fill a vacant space in the series,
and actually gave its probable specific
gravity, which agrees closely with the
result ef experiments with galllum. Fin.
ally, M. Lecoq de Boisbaudnan, followed
up an original system OF spectrum anal
ysis applied to zinc-blende for this very
purpose, produced the metal itself, and
gave it from France (GauD, the country
in which the discovery was made. the
name of ga]Gum.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1878-05-15
Aerial Navigation.

Mr.. Brearey, secretary of the English
Aeronautical Society, called attention,
in recent lecture, to some curious facts
which those who are seeking solutions OF
the flying machine problem might pro
ftabl y bear in mind. he stated that
light as the atmosphere is in proportion
to the weight of water, the rarer me-
dunn is capable of supporting creature
much heavier than itself, while water,
800 times heavier, only supported fish
of about equal weight, bulk for bulk.
Supposing fish bore the same proper
tional weight to it's elemental medium as
a bird does to the atmosphere, it would
have to be made of something heavier
than platinum. As it is, fish is really
bird without wings.
He gave some curious comparisons
between different birds and insects as to
the surface they presented to the atmo-
sphere and their weight. Thus the gnat
was three million times less weight than
the Australian crane, but presented In
proportion one hundred and forty times
more surface to the air; and between
GuoS0 UWO GucIo "SIO dlLnoSo go o~
tions. In these Investigations lay some
of the most hopeful facts which seemed
to render aerial navigation possible, and
if man could get sufficient surface he
could surely get sufficient machine
power for propulsion. 1t was not so
much a question Of power as OF the
right application of power. There was
also the question of balance. The man
ner in which a bird kept its balance,
while it's wings we're being energetlca!iy
worked alternately above and below It's
center of gravity, was marvellous. Mr..
Brearey thought that with the example
of the bicycle the question of balance
would not present much difficulty. .
He then touched on the application OF Of
steam to the navigation Of the air. Until
lately it had been thought that this was
inadmissible rs a motive power, because
of the cumbrous method of it's genera
ton; but it had been declared that when
steam could be applied with weight
not exceeding twenty pounds per horse
power, the problem would soon be
solved. This had been accomplished,
and they would hope the prognostica-
tion might be true.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1878-05-15
Chiuaman and Chicago Woman.

The gentleman was from China. The
yellow complexion, the oblique optics,
the pig-tail, and the loosely fitting gar
ments were all there. There was also
on his arm fair creature Of thirty. She
was we'll dr. ssed and good looking, and
was of American descent. They appear
ed before the marriage department and
asked for marriage license. The clerk
eazed in astonishment for moment, but
quickly recovering, he mechanically dip
bed his pen in. the ink and said: "Your
lady's name?"
The Chinaman stared but said nothing,
and then the bride came to the rescue.
"My name," she said, is Estalla
Bennett" :
"E-s-t-a-l-l-a Bennett" spelled
out the clerk, "and your gentleman's
name?"
"oh;;" said the fair Estalla, she's a
heather Chinee, he is, and his name is
King Yeap," and then she ,playfully
chuckled him under the chin, remark
ing, "Aint it. .Yeapee?
While the clerks were getting out the
License the lady became very talkative,
and volunteered the following: II am
going to get married just for the fun OF
it, you know"
@Indeed ?" said the clerk, with
smile. And then the license being ready,
he added: Take your hat off, sir and
be sworn"
The Chinaman grinned.
"Take off your hat, you heather Chi
nee, you," said his, future bride, and be-
fore the prospective bridegroom could
comply, she pulled off his hat, and ad-
dressing by this time the thoroughly
amused clerks, said: There, look at
his hair; you can SOC he's a heathen
Chinee. Why, he's got more hair than
I have. If he loses his hair he can't
have me for wife"
The oath was taken, and then Estalla
continued: "Let Us finish up this job.
Now it's begun, don't want to put it of
any longer. If it's all the samee, dear,
we will 90 bright through with it now"
The lady then wanted to see Judge
Loomis, in order, as she said, to ascer-
tain if there were any legal obstacles in
the way of her marriage to King Yeap.
On being assured that there were no
legal barriers in the way of her joy, she
told the clerks that she had known
"Kingee Yeapee for three months, and
she " didn't see why they "shouldnt
get spiced." Yeap, who was a passive
listener throughout. de eposited his $l.5O,
and then the happy pair proceeded over
to Justice Kaufman, who speedily e." fin
ished up the iob," and Miss Bennett be-
came Mrs. King Yeap.-chicago Inter
Ocean.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1878-05-15
How to Drown Easily.

If death by drowning be inevitable,
as in a shipwreck, the easiest way to die
would be to suck water into tho lungs
by a powerful inspiration, as soon as
one went beneath the surface. A per.
son who had the courage to do this
would probably become almost imme-
diately unconscious and never rise to
the surface. AS soon as the fluid filled
his lungs all feelings of chilliness and
pain would cease, the indescribable semi
delirium that accompanies an@sthesia
would come on, with ringing in the ears
and delightful visions of color and light,
while he would seem to himself to be
gently sinking to rest on the softest of
beds and with the most delightful of
dreams. s.-Popular Science Monthly. ..
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1878-05-15
Two Camellias.

Jeanne Donste is little pianiste only
seven years old, who has lately per-
formed before Queen Victoria. When
at Buckingham Palace, the little lady
wore white artificial camellis. "Who
gave you that ?" asked the queen.
"Oh that's my talisman, your majesty,
Nile, Albani gave it to me for good
luck" Her majesty went over to cor
BELLE, took out red camellia, and gave
it to the child, saying: "Wear that
beside it, my dear, and may both bring
Won q two-folk share Of good luck I"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1878-05-15
BY HUGH WILSON AND w. G. BENET.
Somebody's Mother.


The woman was old and ragged and gray,
And bent with the chill of the winters dsy;
The street was vet with recent snow,
And the woman's feet were aged and slow.
She stood at the crossing and waited long,
Alone, uncared for, amid tho throng
OF human beings who passed her by,
Nor needed the glance Of her anxious eye.
Down the street, with laughter and shout,
Glad in the freedom Of school let out,
Came the boys like a flock Of sheep.
Hailing the snow piled white and deep.
Past the woman so old and gray,
fastened the children on their way,
Nor offered helping hand to her,
So meek, so timid, afraid to stir
Lest the carriage wheels or the horses feet
Should crowd her down in the slippery street.
At last came one Of the merry troop
The gayest laddie Of all the group;
BE paused beside her, and whispered low,
"IIl help you across II you wish to CO."
Her aged hand on his strong young arm
She placed, and 30, without hurt or harm,
He guided the trembling feet along,
Proud that his own were firm and strong.
Then back again to his friends he went,
His young heart happy and well content.
"She's somebody's mother, boys, you know,
For all she's old, and poor and slow;
"And hope some fellow will lend hand
To help my mother, you understand,
~"If ever she's poor, and old and gray, -
When her own dear boy is far away"
And "somebody's mother" bowed low her head
In her home that night, and the prayer she said
Was: "God be kind to the noble boy,
Who is somebody son and pride and joy"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1878-05-15
A SINGULAR SONG.

MY Madeline my Madeline
Mark my melodious midnight moans;
Much may my melting music mean,
My modulated monotones.
My mandolin's mild minstrelsy, /"
Ny mental music magazine,
My mouth, my mind, my memory,
Must mingling murmur, Madeline.
Muster mid midnight masquerades,
Mark Moorish maidens, matrons mlen,
'Mongst Murcia's most majestic maids,
Match me, my rnatchless Madeline
Maulind's malevolence may make
Much melancholy music mine;
Many my motives may mistake,
NV modest merits much masgn.
NV Madeline's most mirthful mood
Much mollifes my minds machine;
NV mournfulness' magnitude
Melts-makes me merry, Madeline
Matchmaking mas may machinate,
Maneuv'ring misses me misween;
Nero money may make.many u,ste,
MY magic motto's MadednsT
Melt most mellifuous melody,
Midst Murcia's misty mounts marane'
Meet me, my moonlight-msrry me-
Madonna mia !-Madeline.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1878-05-15
A Good Interest Table.

The following interest table is worth
preserving. Multiply the principal by
Il ~>t,o. of Jopo onS 6ivi6p.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1878-05-15

"Well, I declare, said the cook, fort
night after Amy's arrival, ''if this amt
the surprisin est governess! La sakes,
don't she make a good missus, though!
Always a-smilin' and serene. And she
knows what she wants, and what's what.
And Miss Martha chimes in-my! how
she does chime in!-as no un could have
bethought. If missus don't come back,
I'll stay right on. and no questions
asked, so I will"
eyes, Miss Jennings is surprisin', "
said the seamstress. "And to hear Miss
Martha layin' down the lawtto her is as
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1878-03-20

WHERE RELIGION FAILED IN THE
HOUR OF NEED.-At night old Gumbo
WAS accustomed to retire to his lonely
cabin to light his taIlow candle and
pore over dog-eared, dilapidated Bi
bile, and as he read he would at brief
intervals pause and devoutly exclaim
with fearful, appraised eyes: "Oh! cum
de good angel of the Lord an take Door
Gnmbo home to rest" 1t happened OF
dark night, when by the light of his
tallow dip he was intently studying
his Rible, there came three solemn,
measured raps on the cabin door.
Gumho heard and grew pale with fear,
and Immediately, with spasmodic
jerL, blew ont the light and demanded
to know: "Who am dat are knockip'
at dis are doora" when a dismal, se
pulchral voice answered: "The good
angel Of the Lord has come to take
poor Gumbo up to rest.n When trem
hlinely, with suprrstitions fear, believ-
ing that the good angel of the Lord
was really standing at the door, he au-
swers: IL kno's dat niggah Gunbo.
but dat are niggah don't lib heah
Why, dat are Gumho am jes dun gone
ded desc to- years Yes he am he
ies dun gone ded dese TO- years."
-[New Bedford (Massaehusetts)
Mercury.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1878-03-20
MEMO.

THE A. T. Stewart Hotel for
Women Of New York, which was in.
tended by its founder to prove
such blessing to the working WON.
en- by assuring them nice pace to
board at low rates, is not likely to
amount TO much, 40 far 10 the work.
ing-women are concerned. Under
the present management board is put
at from IS to $40 per week. Very
few women, who work for 4 living,
can afford to pay such prices for
board, and those who can, Of all 9th.
ers, have no difficulty in finding
plenty Of nice places. It was Mr..
Stewards intention to so arrange the
rates that the poorest would be able
to pay the price Of a good home.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1878-03-20
-THRouaH the mercy OF Russi

-THRouaH the mercy Of Russia
the Turks will retain their foothold
in Europe, and may become q hu
name, progressive and industrious
people. If this should be the result,
the war will not have been without .
good effect. The restoration Of good
feeling between Russia ind Turkey,
and the cutting Of Of the latter from
= reliance on England, will work
much good, not oaly 70 Turksy, bnt
70 ali .Earuees y
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1878-03-20
hut shall he for the sum Of $3.50, 900

hut shall he for the sum Of $3.50, DOC
only, represented by the work al
ready done on said railway. There.
after all issues Of said State bonds
shall be at the rate Of $4,000 per
mile for every section of ten miles of
road graded, bridged and metaled, to
be shown ny the certificate of the
engineer IF the company aud one of
the State engineers, or, if the Office
of State Engineers shall no longer
exist, of a civil engineer detailed by
the Governor. If the said COMPANY
shall acquire any railway on its line,
already constructed, in whole or in
part, such acquired railway, when
found or put in fair running order,
shall he taken IS a part of the rail.
way Of said company, with reference
to which State bonds shall be issued
under this act At the rate Of SIC, 900
per mile of the same, whenever the
same shall be certified a. aforesaid.
SEC. 6. The proceeds realized from
said State bonds by said company
shall be applied strictly to the con-
struction and work of said railway;
and the Governor may from time to
time require an account from the
said railway company Of the applica-
ton of said proceeds.
Sec. 6. This act shall take effect
from and after its passage.
(Signed) LOUIS BUSH,
Speaker of the House of Representa-.
tives.
(Signed) LOUIS A. WILT.
Lieutenant Governor and President
of the Senate.
Approved March IL, 1878.
(Signed) FRANCIS T. NICHOLS, |
Governor of the State of Louisiana,
A true copy:
WILL A. STRONG,
Secretary of State.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1878-03-20
New ORLEANS, La, ]
Sept. 20, 1871

Messrs Ferslew & Co.:
GENTLEMEN-I have been a suffer
er with Rheumatism for number OF
years, and my last attack, which was
last year, was the most severe that l
ever had. After trying everything
in the way Of medicine that could
hear OF, and spending hundreds of
dollars and having several physi-
clans, l finally heard Of the ANTI
RHEUMATIC MIXTURE and found i'm
mediate relief, was able to walk on
the second day, and after taking two
bottles, was perfectly cured and have
never had a touch Of Rheumatism
since. Respectfully,
FREDERICK SOLAND.
Corner Dry4des. ind Josyphtas Sts.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1878-03-20

CONSUMPTION CURED.-An old phy.
stefan, retired from active practice,
having had placed in his hands, By an
East Indian missionary, the formula
OF simple vegetable remedy for the
speedy and permanent cure of Con.
sumption. Bronchitis. Catarrh, Asthma
and all Throat and LING affections ;
also a positive and radical cure for
General Debility and all nervous COM
plants, after having thoroughly tested
its wonderful curative powers in thou
sands of cases, feels it his duty to M lake
it known to his suffering fellows. The
recipe will be sent free of charge, to
all who desire it, with full directions
for preparing and successfully using.
Address, with stamp, naming this pa
der, DR.. j. G. STONE, A North Ninth
Street, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.