Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1878-05-30

"Pm telling you that you can't pass your.
self of on US as a grasshopper sufferer,
shouted the boy. "If you want some cold
vittles 60 round to the side gate!'
-Four pedestrians had halted on the other
side of the street, and the young man looked
down on the boy and softly said:
"Boy, can you catch ten cents ?"
eve don't sign no petishuns here for ma
tional monument to the inventor of the dish
pan p replied the boy. "What I'm talking
cooks door"
The young man wished wish containing
413 grains fine, that the builder of those high
steps had been dead for forty years but the
door didn't open, and the boy hung right to
him, calling out:
"Hain't l been telling you that you can't
get in there You may be the private watch.
man on this block, but you can't 60 around
pulling front door bells and putting on airs
If I have to arguy much longer I'll call the
policew
ave got half a dollar here, boy!" said the
Young man, as he turned around.
"Let's see how it looks" softly replied the
lad.
But the half dollar was at home. The
young man searched for it in vain, and the dis
gusted boy turned to the men across the
street and called out:
"Isn't it agin the law for fellow to be tax
ing beeswax impression OF front door lock
in the daytime?"
They started to come over, and the young
man hurried down the steps and up the
street. He gave them just one look. 1t was
a look in which railroad collisions and steam
boat blow.ups we're equally mixed and then
frosted with Bogardus kick.
"Oh ye kin wink at me and try to buy
me off, growled the boy, "but these princi-
plies of honesty were planted all over me
when was baby, and they can't be rubbed
out nor bought up for wealth."
Just then a young lady threw open the
door and smiled and bowed and got as far as:
"Why, Fwedp' when she discovered he
vast there. The footman was out and she
had waited to "6x up," and "Fwed" had
gone. She backed in and shut the door, and
the mean boy got down to finish his Indian.
PUT IT IN HIMsELF.-The Drawer is in
debted to friend in Colorado for the follow
ing, which was related to him by Catholic
priest, Father H., who in his mission work
in Southern Colorado and New Mexico, met
with many extraordinary people and Incl
dents. On one occasion he happened to hold
service in small out-of.the- chapel, where
the varied duties of janitor we're discharged
by gentleman of Irish descent. During the
service child was brought forward for bap.
tism. It may not be generally known that
in the Roman Catholic ritual, the priest be-
fore touching the child with water, puts
little salt into the water in the presence of
the congregation. The janitor, however, had
prepared the water beforehand, according to
his own idea as to the proportion of salt,
when the priest, having omitted to place the
salt in readiness, whispered softly to his at
tendant, "Pat, will you please get the salt ?"
Pat responded, in an audible whisper from
behind his hand, "Sure an | put it in al
ready"
Father H., not fully understanding, re-
peated his whispered request
Again Pat replied, more audibly than be.
fore, and with slight dudgeon in his tone,
"Sure an put it in, I tell ye."
"But the ritual demands that the priest
should perform the ceremony before the con-
gregation," explained Father H.. considera-
bly annoyed at the janitors obstinacy.
The Irshman procured the SALT and hand.
ing it to the priest, electrified him, as we'll as
the congregation, with the remark, delivered
in a surly growl, "Here ye are; bedad ye can
make pickel of it if ye want to r
A WONDERFUL TELEPHoNE.-Just before
the thunder storm on Saturday evening last,
a Whitehall man stepped into the telegraph
Office at this place and requested the privl-
lege of talking through the telephone with
his wife, who was visiting friends in Troy.
John w. Eddy, the gentlemanly assistant
manager, granted the request and the White
haller began operations. He couldn't be pre-
vailed upon to believe that it was his wife
who was talking to him, and she so many
miles away. He finally asked her to say or
do something, known to themselves only, that
he might be convinced that it was she. Just
then a rambling streak of lightning came in
on the wires, keeling the husband over on his
head, when he jumped to bis feet and ex-
claimed: "That's the ole woman, sartln-on-
ly she's erode a l.e.e-tle more powerful since
she left hum WhitehaU Times.
THE LIMIT OF IND1FFERENcE.-Two men
of this city were out the other day soliciting
money for charitable object. They came
to the Office of certain rich man. and hest
tated about approaching him. One Of the
pair finally concluded he would try it. When
he came out his partner asked him what luck;
"Not a cent" said the man who had
"bearded the lion in his den"-"not cent.
I told him all about the distress of my fami-
", but it was no use. He was as indifferent
as the rear guard Of funeral procession. -
Virginia (Nev.) Enterprise.
ag When lover leaves the house OF his
adored one at late hour in the evening, and
walks musingly homeward beneath the twink:
ling stars, his fond fancy pictures her, clothed
in white samite, resting sweetly upon her
pillow, with her unbound hair tossed about
her sleeping face and angels bending over
her couch, whispering heavenly dreams.
Perhaps, at that very moment. though, she is
in the pantry, gnawing hungrily on ham
bone.
nE A Lowell man, who lost his good char
acter some time ago, was severely hauled over
hv some of his former friends. ~ know it,
bovs. know my characters gone; lost en-
tirely. And" Ihe added, rather, poilntedly,
c,n1od had for IL was the only