Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1878-06-27

COW-BELLS.-A farmer calleQ at q STORE
one day, and the following dialogue ensued (:
Flrmer-"Got any cow-bellsS"
Clerk-"Yes; step this way
Farmer-"Those are too small. Haven't
you any larger?'
Clerk-"No, sir !; the large ones are all
Sold"
The farmer started off and got as far as the
door, when the clerk called after him, "Look
here, stranger, take one of these small bells
for your cow, and you won't have half the
trouble in finding her, for when you hear her
bell you will always know she can't be far off,
The logic was irresistible, and the farmer
bought the bell.
The Coop BoY.-A well-dressed boy,
about ten years old, stood on the walk in front
of the Central Hotel the other day eating an
apple A ragged urchin, having rag bag
over his shoulder, stood close by and looked
as if he would give his hat and boots for one
bite of the fruit An attache noted the situ-
alton and was greatly pleased to see the lad
suddenly hand over the apple to the envious
rag.picker
That's good boy-that was real chari-
ty exclaimed the gentleman, as he patted
the hoy on the head.
"Yes, felt sorry for him." replied the boy,
"and I'd got down to big worm-hole, too!
pSg A man with a red face, and looking
rather shabby, called at house in the coun-
try one Sunday and asked for drink of ci-
der. The lady of the establishment refused,
telling him that she could not accommodate
him. He urged her, assuring her that she
had better do so, that some persons had en-
tertained angels unawares. "Yes, she said,
81 know that; but angels don't 60 about
drinking cider on Sundays"
saF He was so drunk that he could not
walk, could scarcely move, and only partial
" articulate. A friend of his came up and
upbraided him. "If were in your place, !"
said the friend, "I'd 90 out in the woods and
hang myself" "If (hic) you were in my
place, how (hic) the deuce (hic) would you
get to (hic) the woods?" was the squelching
reply.
Da5- The following correspondence passed
between gentleman who loaned friend one
hundred dollars and his friend:
Dear Sir-In closing my books l find
that you are indebted to me one hundred
dollars. Pleas remit. Yours, etc.
"Dear Sir-In opening mine / find that |
haven't cent, so can't. Yours, ETC."
sa~ "What strain that is !" said Mrs. Par
tington, as she heard an air from Lucia, sung
in the highest style By young lady where
she was visiting. "Yes," was the reply; "it
is operatc." upper attic, is it? I should
think it was high enough to be on top of the
house"
Bas- Time makes all things even. For n
years New Hampshire husband kept taunt-
ing his wife with the fact that her brother
was once in Jail. Last week his mother was
arrested for setting barn on fire, and now
the wife snffs and says: "Nice family you
sprung from !"
gg- A disconselable Virginian writes mon
ey is scarce and taxes devour everything the
poor farmer makes. "Why, man cannot
take drink" he says, without having ii
dashed with two and half cents on the
State debt and undergoing at the same time
a serenade from Moffett punch bell.''
nsF A certain caravan orator at fair, after
a long yarn, descriptive Of what is to be seen
inside, generally winds up by saying, "step
in, gentleman, step in. Take my word for it
YOU will be highly delighted when you come
ont ~