Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1878-10-09
4 WIFE'S CONFESSION.


people do, SO in this respect | am
neither better nor worse than my neigh
bors. No, certainly did not marry
for love; [ believe [ married Mr..
Cartwright simply because he asked
me.
This was how it happened. He was
the rector of Devotion, and we lived at
the Manor House, which was about, ten
minutes walk from the church and
rectory. We had daily service at
Devotion, and [ nearly always attend
ed it and it came to pass that Mr..
Cartright inv ariably walked home with
me. 1t was a matter of custom now,
and [ thought nothing of it; it pleased
him, and on the whole it was rather
pleasant to me also. ....--,.F
[ must confess, however, was rather
surprised when, one morning when we
got to the avenue which led to the
Manor House, Mr.. Cartwright asked me
to be MS wife. ...s ..I
have never been able to find out
why | said yes, but did; perhaps |
thought it a pity to throw away SO much
love; or, perhaps it was because he was
SO terribly IN earnest that [ dared not
refuse him; perhaps [ feared his pale
face, and his low, pleading voice would
ever haunt me if rejected his love:
or, perhaps, it was because he only
asked me to marry him-he did not
ask me If I loved him, forI think he
guessed did not. perhaps it was all
these reasons put together, but anyhow
Isaid yes, and in due time we were
married. 1902 ~.
I ought to have been very happy, for
he was a most devoted husband, but
was not, and though did not notice it
then, know now that for the first six
months after our marriage he was not
happy either. ~ =. Z - y. = -
It was all my fault either would
not or could not loye him: I accepted
all his devotion to me as a matter Of
course, but [ made no effort to return
1t; and [ am sure he had found out
that he had made a mistake in marry
ing woman who did not love him.
One morning, about six months after
our marriage, he told me at the break
fast that he intended leaving me alone
for few weeks, to stay with his mother,
who was not very we'll. He watched
the effect of this announcement on me,
but though | was really displeased, |
concealed my annoyance, and asked
carelessl y when he would start.
He replied, the next day, if had no
objection, and so it was settled.
He was more affectionate than usual
that day, and [ was colder than ever: [
only once alluded to his journey; and
that was to ask if [ might have my sis
ter Maud to stay while he was gone.
The next morning | was anxious to
avoid a formal parting, SO | drove to
the station with him. AS the train
moved off, [ rem embered this was our
first parting since our marriage, and [
wished / had not been SO cold.
When got home the house looked
so dreary and empty and there was no
one to meet me; presently one of the
servants came for the shawls, and with
her Nero, Mr.. Cartwright's retriever,
which, when he saw [ was alone, set
and tried to comfort him, feeling rebuk-
ed by his grief as he followed me,
whining, into the house. Every room
seemed empty, and each spoke of the
aesont master. At last wandered into
MS study, where he spent his mornings,
and liked me to sit and work; and now
L remembered how often | had excused
myself, saying [ preferred The drawing
room, and this reflection did not add to
my happiness.
There was a photograph of me stand
ing on his writing table, and another on
the chimney-piece; on the walls hung
two or three of my drawings, which he
had begged of me when we were en-
gagged; indeed the room was full of little
remembrances of me: | opened book
| had given him, and in it was his name
IN my handwriting, and underneath in
has own, From my darling wife" [
laid 1t down with sigh, as thought
how carefully he treasured everything
had ever given him, and how little
care took of all his gifts to me.
Everything | attempted, everything |
looked at reminded me of his goodness
70 me and of my GOODNESS and ingrati-
tude TO him. At last / went to bed,
where, after working myselfinto fever
of anxiety lest he should not have