The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1878-12-10
BRIC--i-BR4C.

"Swinging in delaina
Wnen halter fits cap to your
craniun. he cap sizes your head,
doesn't he &
Here, come holdi us down. Is
not IL detective in the United States
coinage mint's spyi
"Will you name the bones of the
hoad." "I'vo g,5 em all in my head,
Professor, but L emit give chem"
The Marquis of Lorne is called
john George Edward Henry Doug
lass SataerIanl CInpball, for snort.
There is many al man strong
enough to hold bull by the horns,
anu yet not strong enough to hold
his own tongue.
Tue cold, chilling winds of De-
cember sigh over the fresh graves
of more tiIan forty Greenback news-
papers, lVushingtoa, lPot.
YpsllAnti, Mich, is one Of the few
Of the immortal American towns
that can't poke fun at the Afghanis>
, tan war nameS.--DerricG.
"rhere that explains where my
clothes line went to !" exclaimed an
Iowa woman, as she found her
husband hanging in tho stable.
Joaquin Miller is not the ass he
used to be. He has Shortened his
mustache, wears com non sense
clothes, mi mas smoo5hol out his
manners.
"Are ynu the mate of fthis ship g
said newly arrived passenger to
the cook. ''No, sir ain the man
tilAt cooks the mate" said tne Hi
bernian.
No matter how good-natured O
man may be, he will invariably get
mad when he discovers tn 1t there is
no towel in the room, and he is COM
pellel 10 lry mis- face on the bed
quiz.
. IS TIL ,lie1 here" reads Pitts
h"rg $ gn !,ut il WIS not until an
,.stlslc AiioHhauny Dutchman in
lIl, Ell wnvn ho died there that the
people understood thai they could
get satin dyed.
! Rome Sentinel "The question
which now agitatcs the mind of the
youns man of the period is whether
he will buy an amethyst ring worth
$1.75 for u Christmas present for
his best girl or or put her off with
fifteen cent diary for 1879. The
pres mt outlook is favorable for the
diary" t"
at the Queon's The,tra, Dablin,
in those hl,oyol dys wlon the
Trinity ColIe 50 boys usel to occupy
the gallery en- masse, IN Italian
opera company once occupied the
st,ge. The orchestra was very bad,
; the violins especially doing violence
to tho score Some Oh oxious
party started row among the gods,
and the usual cry Of "throw him
ovey J" WIS raverberate | through
ths house, WHEN one of tae b'noys
roarel, "Il Oh, boys! DON'T
vase :l;:n-k,il u Ii lllet wild him J"
"Pl!e f,ce GIN rel mln chaw 2"
said John Fsyonk, an indian, at q
house in Arkansas John did not
get his tobacco, which made him 40
angry that he killed the five inmates
Of the house.
! "oir, said q weary tramp to the
gentleman who stands behind the
counter at the Barrett House, "Sir,
am a social conundrum. "rhen,"
exclaimed Bell, pointing sadly to-
ward the door, "Then never more
he guessed of mine. "-Ha,okeye.
Speaking Of dull times, a wicked
Mombile man says that q few weeks
ago stranger arrived there and
bought a bale of cotton, and q pleas
ant lumor was ut once started. that
the cotton buyer had arrived, bnt it
only proved to be a Chicago man
with the ear ache
r A self-bihding and reaping ma
chine was run away with by a lively
team Of horses in Oregon q few days
ago. The course lay through a
field of wheat containing about 100
acres, and the machine kept togeth-
or, binding every bundle that came
to it with lightning rapidity. When
the team was stopped the machine
had cut and bound 150 bundles.
! The. good man slammeth the gate
and bangeth tho door and inaketh
poise7-for his heart is without guile,
and he feareth not the grievous
words of wife; but the naughty man