San Marcos free press. [volume] (San Marcos, Tex.) 1877-1892, 1878-12-21
WIT AND WISDOAf.
PAPER teeth are tooth in.
The Nick Of Timc-Satan.

tVCtu uAC tuosu
The Nick Of Timo-Satan.
SOLDIERS are paid in fight money.
TIcE is great storm scenter.-N. o.
Picayune.
A CANDIDATE il mover ticklcd when
the voters scratch him.
A oREEN-eRocER is not always green
enough to give credit.
The close of tile day il too light Q
garment for this cold weather.
A COUNTRY editor in Illinois writes:
ave are having hog cholera"
A WISE man will never lift a lid of
the stove with his fingers moro than
once.
WHAT similarity is there between Q
dissipated young man and brilliant
chandelier? They both sin.till-late.
RICHARD GRANITE testified in the
Biddeford police court that he drank
rum by the quartz. He was nearly
stone blind. lisa $50
SURPRISE is one of the principal ele-
ments of wit. This is why it always
makes man laugh when he sits down
on pin.--Hdckeve.
A VIRGINIA man has built "rain-
tower" which he says he can fro up and
make it rain whenever no wants to. He
hasn't wanted to, yet.
SUMNER is reluctant To depart. She
clings like young girl who is positive
that the clock has not yet struck ten,
and she doesn't care if il has.
In breach of promise suit in Ken
lucky the defendant swore that he could
write four-pago love-letter in seven
minutes. He was fast young man.
BRILLIANT and impulsive people"
said q lecturer on physiogomy, "have
black eyes, or if they don't have 'en
they're apt to get EN-, if they're too i'm.
pulsivc." ata
The civilized Indians of tho Chero.
kee nation are organizing brass band,
80 there will be no further use for the
quotation "Lo, the poor Indian, whose
ur-toot-ored mind"
IT gals the proud spirit of a man TO
stand shivoring in the cold winter blasts
and see q liver-colored pup trot by in
IN ulster, when he can't raise money to
buy secondhand army overcoat.
"THE Lord loveth cheerful giver"-
but there's no use chucking copper
cent into contribution box loud enough
to mako the folks on the back seat think
the communion service has tumbled Of
the altar. n
DID you ever see IN Indian Pawneos
overcoat P Cincinnati Saturday Night
Yes, and saw him Sioux for its recovery.
Detroit Free Press. And he had to
get Cheyenne of evidence to do il. -
Guelph Herald.
The politcst man of the times lives
in New Orleans. He went into tobac-
conist's store, bought two cigars and
said to the proprietor: IF you do not
object to the smell of tobacco I will
smoke one of these cigars here"
THE intelligent Mr.. James Wilson, If
Bruce, Ontario, went to shoot crows, and
put his hand over tho muzzle of his gun
to keep the crows from smelling the
powder until the last moment" He has
more sense now, but less hands.
Sill take another yard of that bind
ing, if you please" said woman to
counter jumper. "Beg PARDON" said
the clerk, but understood you to say
five yards" "That's right" replied the
customer, shut another yard will make
it more binding"
A LITTLE, trifing, puny, insignificant
one-eighth of one per cent. is all that re-
mains premium on gold. Soon we shall
hear of greenbacks going up and gold
coming down. The convenience of the
thing will make greenbl cks at premium
over gold.
A coLoRED preacher in Norwich a
while ago gave out the following an
nouncemcnt: brothers and sisters,
next Sunday, tho Lord willing, there win
be baptizing in this place, the candi-
dates being four adults and three adul
tresses.'
THE manufacture Of cheap buggies is
now a prominent Cincinnati industry
10000 being annually made. They are
| sold for $40, or three for 800, and are
principally bought by young farmers to
go counting in. The courtship has to
be very short or it will outlast the bug
gy.
The microphonc is another marvellous
invention. BY it the faintest sounds are
magnified to the dimensions of thun-
der-clap. With the microphone farm
or can hear potato bug coming down
the road n quarter of a mile away, and