The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1878-05-11

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upon me, and / could not shake it of
My very self-mistrust was a snare.
My aunt and cousin duly arrived
and OF Frank must speak the truth
even IT | am accused of wish to justify
myself. Every charm a young mar
could have | think he possessed. say
nothing of his personal beauty or his in
genuous graces of manner. / could have
withstood these, though | had very
keen appreciation of them. But he was
as full of disinterested ardor as his pro.
fession as Mr.. Lacy in his; had the
same deep desire to be of use in his gen.
Grafton; only he unfolded them with
such winning self-mistrust, as if he
| doubted his worthiness for the high vo-
cation of benevolence until he warmed
into enthusiasm, and then the passion of
his speech, the very extravaganza of his
youthful hopes, thrilled me with a power
far bepond the reasoned wisdom of Mr..
Lacy's enterprises. Oh! Ilonged to join
hands with him in his life journey and lend
my aid to the working out of his Utopia
with spontaneous feryor of desire never
known before.
Lesser things lent their aid. He was
a line musician and an enthusiast in the
art. We practised constantly together.
lie taught me how to play and sing the
German compositions he had introduced
to me. / do not wish to dwell on details,
but who does not know how subtle me-
dunn of love kindred pursuit and en-
joyment of music Island Mr.. Lacy had
never cared for music. Then again he
was my perpetual companion. At
breakfast his clear eyes and welcoming
voice opened the day, and after its long
hours of delightful intercourse his hand
was the last | clasped at night. No at
tempt was made to put any restraint
upon this dangerous companionship. NV
father looked upon us as brother and sis
ter. Besides, the fact of my engagement
was known, and he had the most i'm
plicit confidence in his nephew's honor.
He never considered my danger, vet it
was the greater. He might be strong.
but | was weak. In short, | loved
Frank.
A letter announcing the probable day
of Mr.. Lacy's return reused me to the
conviction of the truth. | carried it
up to my room, locked the door, and fell
on my knees. What should do? Should
| keep my scored and sin against my
own soul by marrying one | did not
love? Surely that were the worst crime
of the two. What was left nae, then,
but to wound a noble heart, belle my
promise, inculpate my father. 1t seemed
dreadful alternative. After many
hours of agonized casuistry | could not
decide, but determined to leave the issue
to chance. Did Frank love me? Strange
that took that fact for granted, tortur-
ing myself with the idea of what he
would suffer-he, with his young, strong
capacity for sorrow! This is not to be
long story, SO must not stay to analyze
the state of my mind during the interval
that elapsed befoce Mr.. Lacy's return.
A criminal awaiting sure condemna-
ton, and that, approved by his own ach-
ing conscience, would understand nv
feeling.
The evening came on which we expect
ed him. Never before had our draw
ing room worn a more happy, home-like
character. My father read the news
paper at ease in his ample chair, my
handsome, lively aunt perpetually inter
rupting him with irrelevant remarks. /
sat near the a-table, for a certain hour
had been fixed, and we waited for our
guest before we began our favorite meal.
| held book to hide the changes of my
countenance. Had | doubted my cousins
love before, [ should have doubted it no
longer; how earnestly and searchingly
he looked at mellow grave and sad he
appeared.
The rap came. 1t was natural
should start; but it was hard to smile
naturally at my aunt's pleasant raillery.
Mr.. Lacy came in; he was one of those
whose self-governed, serene manner, pre-
cludes fiutter or embarrassment in 9TH
ers. The gentle friendliness of his greet
ing treasured me for the moment; I'M
der it could imagine the strong, passion
ate current to exist that sometimes
broke its bounds.
The evening passed smoothly and
pleasantly to all externals. Mr.. Lacy
was very grave, but then it was to be ex-
pected of son who had Just left his
fathers deathbed; and my aunt's ami
mated tongue filled up the intervals
when conversation would have tagged.
Frank and | sang at my fathers request,
for | feared to seem unwilling; besides,
it precluded the necessity of my exert
ing myself to talk Frank was very
serious, and, / thought, averse to sing
with me, but at the same time had never
sung to more advantage.
The ordeal was over at last. Mr.. Lacy
took his leave without anything in his
manner to make me fear or perhaps hope
that my secret was discovered. A week
passed; he was constantly with us, show
ing me the same tenderness as ever,
somewhat graver, but as certainly more
gentle. He seemed, too, to make a point
of seeking Franks society, and spoke of
him in high terms to my father. Oh!
what a heavy heart / carried during that
period. Looking in my glass thought
with wonder of the change six months
can work in mind and body. At the end
of those seven days | came to a resolu-
ton that nerved me with something like
strength. | thought l would have
direct interview with Mr.. Lacy, tell him
the whole truth. and throw myself on
his generosity. Let him but release me
from All engagement that became every
hour more intolerable to contemplate,
and would consent to enter on no other.
Let him bat free me, and | would live
forever; yes, though | must
take labor and poverty as companions.
1t was the very evening of the day /
had come to this decision that l CHANGED
to meet Mr.. Lacy on the stairs at the
hour of his usual arrival. Here was the
desired opportunity, but l trembled to
avail myself of it. He forestalled me.
Give me quarter of an hour alone,
in the library" he said; 81
have wished to have few words with
with Won for daysn