Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1878-01-17

BOHEMIAN, MONTANA, THURSDAY, JANUARY H. 1S78
A Man Who Talked too Much.

e lie slipped into an ice-cream saloon Yer
softly. and when girl asked him what h
wanted, lie replied:
+ ''Corned beef, fried potatoes, pickles an
+ minee pie.'
, '.Ths is not a restaurant; this is an ict
cream parlor,' she said ..=.-..z.=..s +.
\ s''Then why did you ask me what wan
: ed? Why don't you bring on your ict
S cream?''
She went after it, and as she returned h
: continued:
S ~ Oh see. my dear girl. you must infer
: you must reason. 1t isn't likely that
e would come into an ice-cream parlor t.
D buy grindstOnc. is it? You didn't .hinI
| | came here to ask if you baled hay. di,
t your
t She looked at him in great surprise, an,
, he went on:
''lf owned a hardware store and yol
. came in, would infer that you wanted
something in my line. | would not stel
out and ask you if you wanted to buy i:
mule. would I?''
: She went away highly indignant. Al
old lady was devouring a dish of cream ii
: the next table. and tie stranger. after watch
ing her for Il moment, called out:
My dear woman. have you found any
hairs or buttons in your dish?''
"Mercy. no.' size exclaimed, as she
wheeled around and dropped her spoon.
''Well. I'm glad Of it." he continued. III
you find any. just let he know
She looked at him for half minute.
picked up the spoon. laid it down again,
and then rose and left the room. She
must have said something to the pro-
prietor. for he came running in and eX-
claimed:
did you tell that woman that there
were hairs and buttons in my ice-cream
"No. sir!'
"You didn't?''
NO, sir, did not. Imerely remarked
to her. in case she found any such ingrcdi-
ents. to inform me-
"Well, sir. that was a mean trick
My dear SIR said the stranger. smiling
softly, ''did you expect me to ask the wom-
an if she found a crowbar or IA sledge halns
mer in her cream? 1t is impossible. sir.
for such articles to be hidden away in such
a small dish
The proprietor went away growing. and
as the stranger quietly slipped away at his
cream, two young ladies' came in. sat down
near him, and ordered some cream apd
cake. IL "..itru unril tiiey mad eaten lit
fla,-and then remarked,
''Beg pardon, Indies, but do YOU oh
serve anything peculiar in the taste of this
cream:''
They tasted. smacked their lips, and
were hot certain.
''Does it taste to you as ifa plug of to-
bacco Lad fallen into the freezer
"Ah. .h!' they exclaimed, and trying
to spit out what they had eaten, both
rushed out, and it wasn't long before the
proprietor rushed in.
''See here. wIlat in blazes are you talking
about?" he demanded. What do you
mean by plug tobacco in the treezer:'
'.My kind friend. | asked these ladies if
this cream tasted like plug tobacco. don't
LtSle any Sull taSte. aliu uOH DeHcNc
you put bit of tobacco in it,
well, you don't want to talk that way
around here observed the proprietor.
My ice-cream is pure. and the man who
says it is not is bold liar!''
lie went away again, and a woman with
long neck and sad face sat down and
said to the girl that she would take Il small
dish of lemon ice.
1t was brought, and she took about
two mouthfuls, when the stranger in
quired:
Excuse me. madam, but do you know
how this cream was made-llave you any
idea that they grated turnipand chalk with
cream?''
She didn't reply. She slowly rose up,
wheeled around and made for the door.
The stranger followed after, and by great
good luck his coat-tails cleared the door an
instant too soon to be struck by five
pound box of figs. hurled with great force
by the indignant proprietor. As he reach,
ell the curb-stOne he halted. looked at the
door of the parlOr and scliloquiZed:
There are times when people should
infer, and there are times when they
shouldn't. l suppose if had asked that
woman if she thought they hashed up Il
saw-mill in the cream, she'd have felt clr-
cular saw going down her throat