Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1877-09-15
Going to School.

"The cause of education be hanged!"
he muttered, as he sat down on the curb
stone on Shelby street.
He was a lad of thirteen. His pants
were supported by piece of wire
clothes-line girted around his waist, his
hat was ancient and greasy, and his big
flat feet seemed to be waiting for thun.
der shower to wash them clean.
"That's what ailS Inc p he went on,
as he pushed his toes into the wet aand.
"I don't believe i'll feller diffing in
and learning all there is to learn, and
not letting other folks have chance.
There's lots of other folks in this world
besides me, and 1 amt going to be
a hog, and try to learn all there is to
learn"
After a minute he went on:
"Don't I know 'nuff now ? Three
times two are six, four times five are
twenty, and four and four are eight.
That's as correct as could get 'em if |
went to school for hundred years.
And don't 1 know how to spell? Cat
is cat the world over, and I'll bet on
it every time. Hen spells 'hen, and
know it as we'll as if l weighed ton"
He rose up to throw stone at q dog
across the street, and after resuming his
seat, he went on:
"Jogerfy kinder wrestles me down,
but I don't go much on jogerfy. What
do / care whether an island is entirely
surrounded by water, or whether there
amt any water within ten miles of it
S'pose I'm going to buy and sell islands
for living? l don't care which is the
highest mountain or the longest river,
do /? I'm going to keep a feed store,
and when l m rolling bales o hay around
will [ care about mountains and rivers ?
I've heard the boys go on about exports
and imports, and straits, and seas, and
capes, but what's them to me ? If
feller wants bag o oats, is he going to
wait and ask me when the Island of
Madagascar was discovered?" ss
He carefully examined the big toe of
his left foot and the heel of his right
foot, and gloomily observed:
"The old folks are making ready to
push me into school, and I've got to
make ready to keep out, | can't take to
school, somehow. could sit here and
study all day, but the minute git into
a school-house I'm nervous. Something's
going to happen to me this week. I'll
be taken home in eel-barrow with a
big cash in this heel, or this toe almost
cut off. That will mean four weeks on
crutch, and they don't allow lame boys
to go to school and crutch up and down
the aisles. Or, sposin go home with
palpitation of the heart? The old lady
has had it, and 1 won't more than get
into the house before she'll have me
tucked up ON the lounge, the camphor
bottle down, currant iell and sponge
cake in the distance, and she'll call out
to the old gent:
GO Father, it's no use of thinking of
sending this boy to school. He looks
stout and healthy, but he's a mere
shadder. The close atmosphere of the
school-room will kill him before snow
flies. ,"
The boy looked up. There was grin
all over his face, and he chuckled:
I" Palpitation is the key note A sore
toe con be seen-a palpitating heart is
hidden away under hide and fat and ribs.
Now en-oosh-Woosh, u-m-m-m-
hold yer breath, roll yer eyes, kick out
yer left leg, and make her bob around
like fly on hot stove-cover. ."--Detroit
Free Press,