The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1877-03-22

II
From our hearts shall claim
for many DAY.
-GEoRaE w. 5oMERv1LLE.
Aboriginal Progress.
Tn the Colorado Legislature the 9th.
er day, Mr.. G. w. Wilson, CHAIRMAN Oh
the committee on Indian aHalrS' maoe
the following report:
Mr.. SPEAKER Your cOmmlIIeo O1
Indian affairs, to whom was reIerreo
all matters relating to the native Amer
leans. have considered carefully ana
prayerfully all matters so referred ,and
would respectfully submit the Hollow
An impartial and careful examina-
ton into the condition and character
of the Indians, has convinced your
committee that the opinion usually
held by the citizens Of the State in re-
card to the want of adaptability on the
nat of the Indians to civilization, IS
utterly at variance with the facts OF
the case. A visit to the various agen-
cies in the different parts of the State
has been of great service in giving US
. correct idea Of the eminent fitness OF
the so-called savages to, lead aclvlllzed
life and follow the peaceful pursuit OF
the farmer. We found The-old-man-
always.lousy industriously preparing
to raise Cain with The white settlers
next summer, and his young men were
as thoroughly imbued with the idea as
the old bull-doser himself.
Another evidence Of the progress OF
rhe savages is seen in the fact that but
verv few Of the braves take their
whisky straight, but call for little
sour in theirs, or prairie-oyster, much
after the fashion Of the general Assem-
! hly in Denver. The ladies Of the tribe,
in consequence Of frequent visits TO
. the white settlements, have acquired
/ a fondness for adjoining their persons,
and array themselves in elegant taste,
in imitation of their white sisters.
= We saw several wearing hats made OF
= hinge mushrooms, ornamented with
= feathers. beavers tails, and. porcuplne
y nnills. making a most graceful and
:, stunning chapeau.
: The most promising circumstance
= however, which came under the no
1 tice of your committee was a Socla
= matter something after the plymouth
style, in which Old-man-Who-gets
- upon. his-ear took a prominent part
!, The lady in the affair is the queenl!
= and fascinating Turtle-with-tive-toes
: The injured party husband OF the lady
Sleep-with.o stabbed Old
"a man-who. gets-up-on-h ls-ear In the DOW
.m ella with a sage.brush, after which
- compromise was entered into by which
-. SleeD-with. one. eye.Open came out on
- Kyuse pony ahead, an example OF IN
simple settlement Of the affair whlc
'. might profitably be followed by tn
=. whites in similar cases, thereby savin
% much trouble and expensive litigation
.. Your committee would suggest tia
= the whisky faster to be appointed
~ ners11ance of the provisions OF IL.
No. "a. shall also be made special II
- dian commissioner for the State,
90 have general supervision of the mOr
- and spiritual welfare of the savage
80, :. and that the bill be so amended as
~" make it the duty Of the faster to sh
ali whisky condemned by him
scS different agencies, thereby causing tt
oae sayaoes to bless the legislature. v
loo moreover would most earnestly url
IN this house this latter recommend
~ ton. as it is about the last run OF sh;
e. for blessing on this outfit.
~ Your committee would also recOl
sao mend that each Indian family be fl
"a, nished with sausage machine to
any ciliate the preparation of dogs t
o,a the table. As the women of the tri
&c -. are somewhat lacking in the culina
h;s art. YOUR committee would furth
; ;,,o recommend that the ladies Of the tri
"a he instructed in the art Of maxi
70 mince pies after the Cheyenne mod
! - :, for it is the opinion Of the commit
n backed by eminent medical authorl1
, !, that it is barely possible that SOL
-ba+ few Indians might even survive ar
drinking whisky condemned by AGO
nav RADIO Office holder, but it is certain u
har the whisky and pies taken togetf
M ~ would have the effect of producing
r;no cross-lift on the digestive organs y
str; no Indian could Withstand, ana Dy q
,",or, means the entire race can be gather
~ nrts to their fathers in the happy hu
= ing grounds during the following su
ri :, mer.
~ Your committee would also reec
py mend that the members of this ho1
,OM- evert their influence to secure the
per nointment OF the chairman to the of
Of State whisky faster.
YOuNG-MAN-AFRAI D-OF-THE-SQUAV
ask Chairman Of the Committee on Ind
lrch- Affairs.
is
,ther why is q hen supposed to be imn
tall Because her sun fgOnl never 6el