The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-06-21
PENCIL and SCISSORS.

STAMP of civilization-the postage
stamp.
IT is better to need relief than to want
the heart to give it.
IT is bliss to learn lessons in love, for
woman is our teacher.
How is it possible to catch soft water
when it is raining hard?
ALTHOUGH a woman's age is undenia-
bly, her OVID, she does not own it.
He that finds thing steals it if he
| endeavors not to restore it.
CRoCKERY dealers always delight in
seeing other people do a smashing busi-
| ness.
CARBON is the name of Mapleson's
new tenor. The punsters will now carry
on worse than they did about Kars.
The Chicago Times recalled its cor
respondent because he wanted to run
tunnel under the Danube as private
enterprise.
THERE is a Philadelphian who rejoices
in the name of Dreydopple. He feels
| quite cut up when he is addressed as
Driedapple.
A CONTEMPORARY says of a very
prominent militia general that "his
sword was never drawn but once-and
then in raffie.".
OUR most Indifferent actions have the
impress of individuality; we may con-
vey an impression not to be efaced for
wears by an unconsidered word or ges-
ture.
! A ST.. LOUIS authority says that a
Texan will wear out three pairs of boots
in the time taken to wear out one pony,
and so he rides and saves dollar be-
sides.
THERE are several ways of killing
grasshoppers, but none more reliable
than that of tying their tails together
and permitting them to jump themselves
in two.
AN observer remarks, but we don't
youch for the truth of the observation,
that two dogs were never known to fight
unless a man or boy was within hum
dred yards.
| WITH every exertion, the best man
can do only moderate amount of good
but it seems in the power OF the most
contemplate individual to Go incalcula-
BILE mischief.
Now the golden-throated mule with
his tail sticking out as straight as pump
handle, and his breath sweet with new
mown hay, humps his back and sings his
summer songs.
"LoNDoN Assurance was played by
an amateur company in New England
village recently, and the boys laughed
because the schoolmarm was down on the
bills as Lady Gay Spanker.
The world never keeps faith with the
hearts that trust it. Its promises of hap
piness are perpetually broken. Take it
for what it is worth, and set your affec-
tions on what is worth more.
REVENGE is momentary triumph, OF
which the satisfaction dies at once, and is
succeeded by remorse; whereas for
giyeaess, which is the noblest of all re-
yenge, entails perpetual pleasure.
IT is truly wonderful how much more
a mans opinion is worth in market,
after he has seven or eight thousand dol
lars at interest, than what it was when
he was at work at nine dollars week.
SOCRATES, the Greek philosopher,
never made a pun in his life. He tried
to once, but Mrs. Socrates came down on
him like the American eagle on an
angle-worm and he repented lmme-
diately.
A TEACHER, after reading to her schol-
ars a story of generous child, asked
them what generosity was. One little
how raised his hand and said, know;
it's giving to others what you don't want
yourself"
BE WISE.
Beautiful yes! but the blush will fade,
The light grow dim which the blue eyes wear;
The gloss will vanish from curl and braid,
And the sunbeam lie in the waving hair'
Turn from the mirror and strive to win
Treasures of loveliness still to last;
| Gather earth's glory and bloom within,
That the soul may be bright when youth is past'
The cucumber season has set in, and
man is walked up at two O'Clock IN the
morning, after dreaming that an ele-
phant is sitting on his equator, to ex-
perience violent regret that he has not
attended church more regularly in his
youth.
THERE are many fruits that never turn
sweet until the frost has lain upon them
there are many nuts that never fall from
the boughs of the forest trees till the
frost has opened and ripened them; and
there are many elements of life that
never grow sweet and beautiful until sor-
row touches them.