davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1877-07-20

The Integrity Of the Certificates Issued by the
Board Of AUDIT Assaulted.

WASHINGTON, July 1g.-Thc integrity Of
the certificates issued by the late Board Of Audit
al the District of Columbia has been attacked
hy Il decision in the shape 81 reply from the
Commissioners Of the District. and the crcum-
stances OF the case only 20 to show the glarng
irregularities which have prevailed in the con-
duct Of District affairs. II is the case of the
United States cx rel. VIM. Nelson agt. Commits
sioncr4 of the District. An alternative writ of
mandamus having been issued to the Commits
sioncrs requiring them to show cause why they
should not deliver to sad rclator u certificate
for the sum u s33.69I.5O with interest from
Aug. l. 1874. the Commissioners in their re-
turn set out, among other answers. The follow
ing: Said su-cncd cert ncnt", No. lOSlO was
not ISSUED by said Board Of Audit in due form
of law. particularly IN TINS, That II was not
cCuntrrsign and registered 10y the Comptrpl-
Ter Of III" Disir. T. The Commissioners aver
that ON said Aug / 1874 George A. Baker was
Comutrullrr and WIS daily in the discharge ~
tn duties If his on e aud that SAID cert ilcato
which WIS countcr~i gncd and registered 10y an
Oil cr mot mentioned IN the law. wis informal
and imperfect and not ready for delivery,
The inlportancc 2l THIS answcr is idcnt to
siNty-iivc bonds. So called. as they, were
ISSUED an certin atos counicrsiEn.d and
registered hy the same on 'cr. and the same
person who couuct~i-n'd and registered the
certificate which b. Of controversy IN tins pres
cuf cause sen that " tine point he We'll taken II
may hr questioned whether any bond issued in
value than the ocriincate at Issue. The Com
il--inu't- virtually a-stl thrir own acts Tor
tha reason that this rDrtiN ate was signed 10y an
DNl 'tr appointed hN thrrs' lives, 10y a. { of Jun s
-. Is1l THIS c0rttl ate reached the Gust ldy
ot alol.-h'ns he Old Board % Audit and
transferring all papers and documents 'pth@
t.mmi--i Under the previous stat" OF
affairs ID claimant submitted his claim 90 a
board COMPOSED Of tho First and Second Comp
trHlIers. of tuc Treasury. and they gave rrrIl ,
t.ir viii n. after it was countcrSi- nrd ami
q fl
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1877-07-20
MINIiLL,D.

RrRpiCK-NOrT --On Jul, L. hv the Rev William
liutAg- D,or-c II Bareback To- Minnie G Mott. a.. u
krinLINu
tuok--~TrpplFoRp At fho Mansion House Brook
lfu. 400 " iu"siAy. Jui,'l- it the Roy lamr ON,
as~i-fti - tao NNN Mr. ALBANIAN ui Madison. \ g. nnf
The to- Dir Ah'Iit oi Sew Nork. Edward T.. Goo. Of
Madison. io Il title daughter uf " >tuldnori of
AiuakINM
rrNNlNGll AM-sINNOrT At Mnrham'on Y. nv
tID NtN o. llnurgAn. Pierre ". tuuuiu fhlu 90 sew
\ ~ .. 700 L.n irrsa sinneit oI the former iAcC
SNAlIE-li pIuW I'm "Wednesday cNtui-. Juno
2n hN tue Rev O,orec " W uIrun u f. Justin 10.
sualcr 10 ellen Bernard LuinW. both ui Bfu,hlNn
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1877-07-20
Hospital Management Cen.ured.

At the coroncrs inquest yesterday into the
cause o the death OF john Rs.. Who ON July z cl IRON
alalirr in the Iianei M. and received nnries from
NAoh thlec 90 tour DAYS Later, he died in the Long
Island crec ln n mr., street Prookivn william Bennett
hfttlrf i Ol john Ross a. sun, 4 HAT Tor tW" of
thfe Nights he sni .it has bedside The lcd Wa So
infested with Nermin mat me- Id ~ watch closely 10
keen him ITEM. HnnoNrd WITH item The bed was
mot iu a llcscitah, .nhuon Nhcn he needed nurse
amt asked tor ihl nurse went cruinl in- because e
wa. allied The jury eensared tue management OF the
hospital.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1877-07-20

Tho Jersey City Charity Hospital at the foot
OF Mashu-ton street /, surrounded hN sugar rchncres
and other factories that polluo the air The building,
are inmo and an poor repair change m the site ha,
ln f' u ur-'i lA tr rN rcians IN account OF Tie hiih
It, tiN rate among tho patients IN" Board Finance
hn. h,cn tring TO- cut dnwu the rost. winch has
ale s2VtlA month. lut it,H bonanza Tor pohuClAns
then iiurt- have not been successful.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1877-07-20

ssCity ~ New York. Zimmerman Havana.
= 40 eff Vera cruz, bcak' %. Havana
- luiu GlN-uu. Nnsin-o. GEORGETOWN. u g
= John Bramau. NgNinstn. tunstAfunopi' Juno I.
- od Dominion, Walker. Richmond. tIiN Point. and
Norfolk
state OF Pennsylvania stewart glasgow Jgy 8. aud
LArnc sfl
ship cleopatra. calan-.cll. Boston
ship FrHNN inafDf. Starr n. ll1lu.
>lIlY NH-lltne. Hruhc, Nr,urn
ia b AlmNl. irHf Ha.. N4r-ril,s
hffN lhu. Hans %. Hamburg
Brig lIt. J. trl~-If. i'l' tiffn'f i0 sal.
lifi- ltaulUH. ii Afttil.n. COW Bay
hri- lINN lHffHii|I .alI. 'tfff.|
Bus rilncc.s b.. 'trirc. simmons. rusdcloupe.
FRI starlight Fucker. biilaIn..
Also tie usual tINtf ant HII-fN WISE vessils.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1877-07-20

CIR ',n' Shwcson, domestic In tho family ~
'i H.iy. 1t p Radfol avenue. Hruukivn stole
t.. I,vclly last week, AMI CONGO O lon,, ih
I'D Nle cellar She then tied her hands ana net
.fNtu ii.D hNu floor WHOM Nae family rotirn.
-. N' 1850 4.0u UHi lNiIII litr hand AND loot.
"a .ic one lWli a pistol 10 hor lead. tie ether
1.. N-t Her -'Ni4 vas l.slfYfO n. uiiI sllt Wa
len, ,,' 'N .i NgHi,i sw'N % slaud ,uoony
h. '" tN4n % SAINT she Wa carried an the Judge
VIZ. 'n. Ma'.t Ihy,i,lHn attendant her Size ne
g. tn iH 'ue in recovering, amt the doctor te.
49,. N s-e was shainning, she Was renianl,d tor
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1877-07-20
Real Estate Market.

Traneactions yesterday &C The Exchange
comm. cd foreclosure sllcs Oy
n NuIor Suu-fwo loursiory Mansarl root and
Iu.n.l l.lncui lrek houses wiki lOt. sa,h las,Nn> y
afi i. West Twenty siNfh street, south side, teet
east 10 slNtu ANtHlr. S-naup.
ilIrnt uonV tour story brown Stone house " i'm
lot 2iN7l the side Sixth avenue twenty fp,t
south VI l-uti street :l2 l.5. % plaintiff
! RoNd-Ouo brick house, with lot 90 SN0a on the
north n.e Of Nineteenth street s3a sect sixth
j. T. sIearns-0ne plot Of land. 22ixl5ox i9sx6o OH
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1877-07-20
Mr.. Hughes has sent out the following circu-
lar TO agents:


Tho Board II Health yesterday made the fol-
LOWING additional appointments ol sanitary inspectors
among the poor o the tenement districts pr L. Tyler.
"a Nt.t Thirty fourth sire ~ - Btrnc -t6 East
SIXTY nrst street ur Edward Nnnterpuel. ~ West
Twt MY sixth street. ur 4 Won KamdDhr. lul seventh
.iL.ni. nr. @ ID swan ~. 81 M.L---u .N.MM..
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1877-07-20

Tho .uh.c uluunsfo the r.,,uf lo1uiu tins carrtry
amount thus tar o. nearly S.ftsstrtl AMI intnnu ad
Nir,s sHir tiat over sir'""r have been absorbed uy
that market
STAT bond. were hI.hor AMI more active W mot"
sale. ot l,nn',, "- new SOFAS. ~ 80. N.,ouu Ns,
long lonls. l.slN. piiu -, lHol .lt- uu Lousi
= consolidated. 40 sr'r Rntua s,rurtc- ltf ltri "a
large aui wei dsiiut,d lusnc. WITH Tho rrut ipa'
trta-lruou. iuiiOW~ Chicago. burlington Hnt.
quincy -, .lnhns luni 'p'. chicago. Rock lsaml aul
r,ifr = lfs tlE, tig ku Island lnd fAtlrl tbs.
ln7, lni NtW Jersey central lit, neW, lN.Hllta,
sew i,rs,y truun lsi- run.ohD li,d nt. N'w d. s't
central convertible. Nli. Milwaukee Hud - Pau
lsi,, ll>s. NuwAu.c, aud - Paul J. aia di' SION
$50 NlIN lAhtr am - ltl cons |Ilalf.l sh4u. I4nl.
49,. ~ NIwuuhe, und - fauI. q AMI Gi'4.ltlU
te' thloa. aus Northwest. rNi-Nlit SECS gu.i - %.
hDnd- So ErI ist. lia Hannibal hHf - ,it,cill
.cn,ern' b. wAssils. iinalo and Euc new toui.
10 Nw Aurk 4, nthl. lists rr-lsfrrci. ~, cli-u
'ouirM =. No. uua laelrr -.d i"id-. l- '.n
lfa la,in, lot. StuI"a.iNu BRAN, i" N.fN Ni,suui
Isis. 90 f.Hf HatrNWt lsf-. lisi fiIf|ii "a
cinc = Amt lmt.. lt.i lnl'n iu i'' sHhm. lmi
So lHi- .llUi ilil .ff l-f, To-, Toilette fIf Wabash
l-i.. = l.nms tiNlsion. 81. Mt,t,tn lmon ie.rHpl
coupon. list' Do. ~uW'n,W Ia N, Railroad lsls. :.
tn., HnN lut 'tNtfN Isis. ga ,N ,aii aui PITTS
lut-i INnsnh .tOl .ift.l- iund. no.
fhe uioiiue Hisu,.i. lowest aud l. closing prices
a. statAh 90 hAA were ffo..I.la
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1877-07-20

The Commissioners of city Works in Brook
Ign has removed William McGrTe A. ASSISTANT keeper
OF uc cas- Hall ami appointed Francis A M,ek, IN his
place. Commissioner Adams vo,ed AGAINST ihc r. solu
litlOu. GAVIN that Ia, action ui htn Slucum and tuui
missioner flUhcry puzzled him lie didn't like their
sNN service reform lh.A removed an Ap.rcuc,d
man Ia am amt nur who lad No experience Mcclure
contends mat hc whs APPOINTED lul one Nrhi iN the
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1877-07-20
The can~.n Convention Postponed.

TIAIEIsnURO, Pa. July ls.-Hcny NJ Hoyt,
Chairman ~ thr h, punt state committee hus Issued
an order losti'0mhs illc kolnhlean sMl" ,m, lon
called Harrisburg Au. -, unul sept ..
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1877-07-20

To-nsh, Mr.. j. l.. Atwai'r who is regarded
iu ts West ss irl- iiau OF .iiy and sandlu-. Viii
iakr benefit 900 TNt siflg-,r." at Wal'atk-. Miss
L. iilr Alien llHs4N. " NntI ON saturday the last
performance III "NDod,i-h wiii he .l'en
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1877-07-20
M.IRINE INTELLIGENCE.

siNt,rtRr ALN,NAc--rfis nay
sun rises. .... Is sun - Moon IL IA
mon wAIfu--ruis uAr
Sandy Hook. "a COY. Island % Hell Gac... IS
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1877-07-20
Business lloiltrs.

Truth, cNer lovely since the world he gan, tho
fe ,Atl. llt flf frfiNl lils ALSO truth hat
H.. Nl.nt Carrot Imturiuu a.. iulinn g.. age srtn.
sNa CARPET. Tor lcs, Than b. charged tor poor ones at
other places.
fthc thousands who suffer from headache
AND dNslti-iH UlIf know tr b rri ani turD iu lo
had hN usu- AZ Hi sklnk rlNNlnuhANr iiuN WOULD
mot ht Ions ia o. % 1u cent?. Depot - NVs,N -
Ruptured pcrsuns should send 10 cts. for Dr.
SIBERIAN s. new Ninh 600 Iultuir uiile - NruatWay.
Hair yc-Hachrior's hest In the worid.-Soh
D! dru--l'ts Al liA'd ul W. factory, 10 Bond IT,
The Rest Remedy for Children while Teeth.
~. MI NlN~LnN ~nltiing S,rIA
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1877-07-20

san FHANcG,Co. July l0.-The Grand Jury 81
tl.ll ff,t (
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1877-07-20
Htihs'S NLW ORDER.
Federal Oniciais stin Permitted to Vote under
Certain circumstances.

Tho Collector the Naval Officer, and the
Surveyor received Hayes order yesterday Ac-
compunying il was letter from Assistant Sec
rotary Mccormick. as follows:
TEr,steY ptrsrrvi NJ. W,NuscroN July L. 1877
SIN transmit herewith copies u au cNtcuu,c order
dated JNnr - ~77 Irohiiru- officers every depart
m,ut u tl civil service ifnn taking part va tr uantse
o POLITICAL organizations. rtutu~"s. tunvt uun-. or
cleo, sen campaigns Yea are requested toiu'ic thc at-
ttnuNIN sa tmluNtc under your supervision 60 ihc
content ~ This orders
N,rs respectfully, Mc'oHNicg.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-11-19
TIE DRUMMER BOY OF LUNOY'S
LANE.

The Hanks-Daily tragedy at San
Francisco reminds US of rather re-
markable incident in the life of Jarvis
F. Hanks, the father of Lester G. Hanks
while resident of Cleveland. Lester
G Hanks and John E. Daily were both
Cleveland boys-the latter brother of
Daily who built the Windsor in New
York and committed suicide a few
months ago. The incident was this:
During the Canadian rebellion-or s'Pa-
triot war;" as it was called-under
William Lloyd Mackenzie, in the winter
of 1887 and 1888, Gen. Scott was sent
to the frontier to see that the neutrality
laws were observed, and to keep things
quiet generally. After breaking up the
camp on Navy Island he went to Detroit
and spent night at Cleveland on his
way. In the evening he addressed a
concourse of citizens in the dining room
of the American House. While relat-
ing what he had just accomplished on
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-11-19
DOT BABY OFF MINE.

Mine craciOusi Mine gracious shustOok here und see
Deutscher so habby as habby can pc.
Der peoples all dink dat no prains hsf got
Vas crazy NIT tnnking. or somedng like dot;
Id wasn't because / thinks lager and vine,
Id vas all on aggonnt of dot baby off mine.
Dot shmall eedle yellow ! dells you vas queer;
Not mooch pigger roundt as goot glass Off beer,
Nit a bare-footed he'd, and nose but a schpeck
mout dot goes most to der pack of neck,
Und his leedle pink toes NIT der rest all combine
To gie sooch a charm to dot baby off mne
dells you dot baby vos Won Off der boys
Und beats leeds Yawcob for making a noise;
He shust has pegun to shbeak goot English too.
Says "mama," und papa" und sometimes "ahgooi"
You don't nnd baby den dimes Oudt OF nine
Dot vas quite 80 schmart dot baby off mine.
He grawls der vlOOr Ofer und drows dings aboudt,
Und puts efryting he find in his mout:
He dumbes der shairs down. und falls his chair
Und giles my Katrina Won derrible schare;
Mine hair shtands like shquills on a mat borcubne
Ven dnks Off dose pranks off dot baby off mine.
Dere someding you PEI, don't likes pooty veil;
To hear in der nighd dimes dot young Deutscher yell
Und dravel der bedroom mitOut many clo'es
While der chs down der shpine off mine pack quickly
goes
Dose leede shimnasdic bricks wasn't so fne
Dot cuts oOp at nighdt nit dot baby off mine
Vel. desc leedle schafers vas goin' to pc men,
Und all off desc droubles viii peen ofer den;
Dey will year a White shirt vrOnt inshted off bib,
Und wouldn't got tucked oOp at nighdt in deir crib.
Veil Veil ven I'm feepe. und in life's decline.
May mine oldt age pc cheered by dot baby off mine.
Charles r. adams IN Detroit Free Press
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-11-19

despair; erect, livid, CHASTITY; there for
a moment, and then he falls he is dead /!
All, look at that proud form. thrown
cold and stiff upon the damp floor. In
that CLASSY eye there fingers, even yet,
horrible energy sublimity of de-
spair. Who is this strange man lying
there alone, in this rude garret; this
man, who, in all his crimes, still treas
ured up in that blue uniform, that faded
flag? who is this being of horrible re-
morse-this man whose memories seem
to link something with heaven and
more with hell +?
Let us look at that parchment and
flag; it is blue banner cleaning with
thirteen stars. He unrolls that parch-
ment it is a colonel's commission in
the Continental army addressed to Ben
edict Arnold And there, in that rude
hut, while the death-watch throbbed
like heart in the shattered wall; there
unknown, unwept, in all the bitterness
Of desolation, lay the corpse of the pa
triot and the traitor.
Oh that our own true Washington
had been there to sever that good right
arm from the corpse; and, while the dis
honored body rotted into dust, to bring
home that noble arm, and embalm it
among the memories of the past. For
that right arm struck many a gallant
blow for freedom !; yonder at Ticondero-
ga, at Quebec, Champlain and Saratoga
that arm, yonder, beneath the snow
white mountains, in the deep silence of
the river of the dead, first raised into
light the Banner of the Stars.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-11-19

the Niagara frontier, be very naturally
alluded to his former achievements there,
and especially to the battle of Lundy's
Lane. He gave an incident of the bat
tie that affected him very much at the
time, In the midst of the battle his
attention was directed to two drummer
boys who were in very exposed posi-
ton. One drum had been broken by
the shot of the enemy, and the two boys
had hold of the other drum contending
for its possession. Just as the general
sent to order them to more sheltered
place cannon ball struck off the head
of one of the boys. The survivor stood
dazed, still holding the drum, and look
ing at the body of his slain companion
prostrate at his feet. Gen. Scott said it
was one of the most affecting scenes he
ever witnessed
Just after the battle and subsequent.
ly he had made diligent inquiry for the
boy, but had never been able to get any
word of him, and he would now be de-
lighted to know what had become of him.
At this juncture MIR. Hanks stepped
forward and said Gen. Scott, am that
drummer boy. A thrill ran through
khn Ne k,v
Gen. Scott with open arms, amid the
cheers and applause of the assembly.
He then briefly gave his version of the
story, which he afterward prepared in
detail for the press. This incident
brought Mr.. Hanks very prominently
before the public, and for several years
he enjoyed the undisputed title and
honors of the Drummer Boy of Lundy's
Lane" But conscience, the Banquo's
| ghost, would not down, and after endur-
ing its goading for season Mr.. Hanks
again came before the public, and this
time with the humiliating confession
that what he had said to Gen. Scott and
through the press was wholly false
there was no truth in it. When he
heard the incident related. and no one
had claimed its honors, it occurred to
him at the moment that there was an
opportunity for him to distinguish him.
self. The temptation was too great. In
an evil moment his vanity and desire
for notoriety overcame all other consid-
erations, and he made the announcement
as we have given it above.
Mr.. Hanks removed to New Jersey,
where he died several years ago. The real
claimant never appeared. Bimghamaton
Republican.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-11-19
AN ICE HOUSE.

II is time for those who are without
an ice house to be preparing one. No
well appointed farm or summer residence
should be without this luxury any more
than without we'll or good spring of
water. 1t is not only a great comfort.
but a means of economy in preserving
meats and fruits in the heat of summer,
while one shat will answer every purpose
may be put up and filed at tr1Aing
expense No elaborate house is neces-
sary for preserving the ice. There are
some requirements, however, that must
be attended to.
First, good drainage must be secured
without giving the air access to the ice
through the drain. If the soil is porous,
or gr.yelly, no artificial drainage is re-
quired. 1t is not essential that the ice
be stored underground, as it keeps quite
as we'll above the surface. The ice should
be conpactly packed and enclosed with
packed sawdust, or tan bark, on all
sides, and on the top to the depth of at
least twelve inches. This packing is
the great preservative of ice. Ventila-
ton must be given from the top and not
allowed to pass through the ice. The
larger the body of ice stored the better
it will keep. The ice-house should not
be less than twelve feet square on the
inside and eight feet high. A few
square rods of ice will suffice to fill an
ordinary house, and the depth of water
need not be more than three feet.
A writer says: my ice-house is built
entirely Oh the surface of the ground.
The only drainage is the natural slope
of the surface, which is about one foot
in six. 1t is fourteen feet square on the
outside, and the posts are ten feet high.
The walls are double, with eight-inch
space filled with tan bark. The roof is
also double. Inside and outside cover
ing hemlock. l first spread three OF
four inches of gravel on the ground, then
ten inches of sawdust. pack sawdust
between the ice and wall, and cover it a
foot deep on top. The north gable end
of the house is open all the while for
ventilation. The ice wastes but trife. y
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-11-19
strained eyes have still in view the dark
clump of frs, but it is far, far to their
shelter.

Silence no longer reigns. The winds,
at first so timid have come forth in all
their strength and now shout VIGOROUSLY
through their dominions. Hark are
not the ghosts of the dead races at bat
tie with the gnomes? No; It's but the
howl of the wolf seated at the mouth of
his cave!
Now the snow sits steadily down, and
wearily drag on horse and man, heavily
lifting their snow-cumbered feet
At last-thank God lat last the
shelter of the grove is gained. The
wolf is still laughing, seated on the rock
before his den, but the shelter of the
frs is good. The snow cannot come
near, but it hastens to raise wall about
the trees, the low, outer branches of
which almost sweep the ground.
Grateful is his fire of sticks to the
chilled feet of the wanderer. The storm
is forgotten while he slumbers. Let
gnomes and the ghosts of warriors bat
tle-let the gray wolf laugh on The
lost man sleeps, and his hungry horse,
with his nese in the embers, dreams of
the green grass of the lower valleys.
The red light of the morning sun
burns on the snow and the sleeper awakes.
Oh sun, mock not with your brightness,
for the wall of snow is high. Gazing on
it, the heart of the lost man stands still.
The snow-laden boughs of his trees are
weighed dOwn-they rest upon the en-
circling drift.
What beautiful fairy palace our lost
man has. But he will not look upon or
delight in its dazzling walls-he only
sighs and means and mutters. Whose
are the names he speaks ? Why does
he not be merry and sing and dance in
his splendid snow palace But his hands
clasp his knees as he rocks to and fro.
Rising, he approaches and caresses his
dumb companion. and the horse lovingly
rested his head against his masters
cheek
"'Tis full fifty miles to the valley,
good dobbin," he says, "and we must
be moving"
Quite up to the breast of the horse is
the snow, as the pair resume their jour-
ney. Such is storm of single night
in the high SIerras.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-11-19

Don't, if your wife has faults, be con-
stantly reminding her of them, while
you never have word of commendation
for her virtues. If she did that with
you, you'd be as mad as hornet.
A facetious tramp called at house
the other day and asked for something
to eat. He was so thin, he said, that
when he had a pain he couldn't tell
whether it was stomach-ache or
back-ache.
An exchange says: Young man, don't
fool away your time going to see fash
ionable girl. Paint. powder, and pull
backs are all well enough, but winter is
coming on, and you want to marry a
good stout hearty girl who can shovel
snow.
A dandy, leading dog by a string.
lounged up to ticket office window of
railway station. and inquired: "Must
I-aw-take ticket for puppy?" He
was naturally both surprised and an
noyed when the ticket-seller answered,
in a slightly bewildered tone, after a
moments reflection: "No. you can
travel as an ordinary passenger"
An attorney having died exceedingly
poor, shilling subscription was set afoot
to pay the expense of his funeral. Most
of the attorneys and barristers having
subscribed, one of them applied to Toler,
afterwards Lord Chief Justice Norbury,
expressing a hope that he would also
subscribe shilling. "Only shilling ~
said Toler, "only a shilling to bury an
attorney? Here is a guinea, 90 and
bury twenty-one of them"
"One day." said Mr.. Lincoln, "when
| first came here, l got into fit of mus
ing in my room. and stood resting my
elbows on the bureau. Looking into the
glass, it struck me what an awfully ugly
man | was. The fact grew on me, and
l made up my mind that l must be the
ugliest man in the world. 1t so mad
dened me that resolved, should | ever
see an uglier. l would shoot him at sight.
Not long after this Andy (naming
lawyer presently 'came to town, and
the first time | saw him said to myself,
There's the man. l went home, took
down my gun. and prOwled round the
streets waiting for him. He soon came
along. Halt. Andy said |. pointing
my gun at him. Say your prayers, fol
I'm going to shoot you why. Mr.
Lincoln, what's the matter? what have
i done p We'll, l made an oath that il
/ ever saw man uglier than l am, I'd
shoot him on the spot You are uglier
sure; so make ready to die Mr.. Lin
coin, do you really think I'm uglier thar
you? p Yes Well. Mr.. Lincoln re
piled Andy. deliberately, and looking m,
squarely in the face, if l am any uglier
fire away p"-Haper's Magazine.