The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-07-07
VARIETIES.

pie make cherry pies.
The true art of being agreeable is to
appear well pleased.
There are twenty-eight strands in
spiders single thread.
A laconic contemporary talks of a
lady who weighed $40.
-Homeric warriors Those who stayed
at home during the war.
=" Huckleberry shortcake" is a gas
trio novelty in Jersey.
By mercantile structure" they
mean in Boston a store.
The desire to escape hard work is
becoming national trait.
Ten members of the United States
Senate are printers by trade.
If you want to geta sure crop, and a
big yield for the seed, SOW wild oats.
An Illinois church was painted with
a strawberry festival and carpeted with a
fair.
Big, green gooseberries, like CORDS
of jealousy" are dime quart in Kan
sas.
The worst has just been told about
Brigham Young. He was once an Indian
Agent,
Merchants who want to know their
fortunes should consult an advertising
medium.
"A Chelsea Mass citizen has died of
insanity, caused by efforts to pay his
debts.
"A man out on Myrtle street calls his
dog "Clouds" because he's fleasy.-St.
Louis Journdy
The water is Just warm enough for
little boys to drown IN without danger of
catching cold.
The hooking birds becoming scarce
in Georgia. Large numbers are annual
ly shipped to the North.
-Toothache and cats are two things
which nature has provided to prevent a
mans sleeping too much.
In few short weeks, all over this
broad, free land, the county fairgrounds
will be put in better condition"
The fortune-hunter of our day does
not dig in the mines. He marries the
widow Of a California forty-niner.
The debating club is right. Girls
pNStNA
must behave.-R0cheste Democrat.
The average incomes of the people
of Philadelphia are not one-tifth what
they were this time four years ago.
The strawberry producer says if an
other year like this comes along he will
pillow up the hull crop, and raise cane.
When you try to wind up watch
with low thot IErnri+ A. Vol Ii how
hard it is to get a grip on the fleeing
hour.-Puch.
The Rochester Democrat, uniustly
disregarding the claims of New York,
says that Chicago has the most accom-
plished liars.
If Secretary Evarts were a base ball
player he would never be "short stop
You can tell this By glancing at one of
his sentences.
Mend your fence, repair the gate,
patch up the chicken-coop and do all
you can to increase the demand for nails.
Rome Sentinel.
-" The proprietors of the Deaf and
Dumb Asylum" says New York paper,
''are letting out rooms to persons learning
to play on the cornet."
"A righteous Louisiana Judge, in a
horse case, ruled out both plaintiff and
defendant, and decided that the animal
belonged to one of the witnesses.
-" How to tell a mad dog" is the
title of an article that is going the rounds,
We haven't anything to tell mad dog
that we couldn't send to him on postal
card.
Beauty and dignity command their
share of attention on the street, of
course, but the man swinging the paint
pot is the one to whom everybody hasti-
ly defers.
The meanest man in Kansas is an
individual who sold poor widow wom-
an dozen of eggs, and then, inviting
himself to dinner with her, ate eleven of
the eggs himself
"A witness on the stand, IN reply to a
question as to what the character of Mr.
- was for truth and veracity, said;
We'll, l should say that he handles
truth very carelessly."
BY the law of Florida no man who
has lost an arm or leg no matter how
or when, or from what cause, can be
taxed for any business he may enter into,
always excepting the liquor business.
"A San Francisco editor gives sketch
showing what have become of some of the
men who has been prominent in the his
tory of California. He names eighteen,
and of these eight became confirmed
drunkards.
The whole number of miles of rail
road in existence in the year 1876 was
1S3,54S. OF these, "A, 1873 miles, OF
nearly two-tifths, were in the United
States. Great Britain and her colonies
have 30,315 miles.
The girls in Minnesota marry young
Miss Emma Stetby, of st. Charles, be-
slowed her mature affections upon Mr.
Martin Johnson and married him the
other evening. The bride has just past
her twelfth year.
"A French chemist makes pill on
which the name and the dose are legibly
printed. So the man who gets them not
only gets a needful medicine, but also
swallows a great deal of valuable in.
formation. - Dan5ury NeaoS.
The Warden of the Connecticut
State Prison is giving the convicts rice
instead of potatoes, and the Providence