The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1877-11-13
FRESH FLASHES OF FUN.

When Is a bald-headed man apt to be
reminded of his youthful days1 When
he thinks Of his top.
The Committee on Ways and Miens-
The female correspondents who criti-
else the actions and looks of members.
A St. Louis paper is discussing the
question, docs it hurt man TO hang
nim" Ot course it does; it ruins him.
1t is no particular credit for man to
die game. Wolves and buzzards do
tnat very thing. Indeed they can't
help it.
When a four-per-cent. holder cuts off
coupon, he Is under bonds to keep
the piece until be can consult with the
redeemer.
Brown says he has been 80 often de-
ceiVed in the chicken he gets at his
boarding-house that he now calls 1t the
mocking-bird.
A thin person may succeed as q lee
turer, but when fat man gets through
speaking and sits down he always leaves
u deeper impression.
A drunken legislator said that he was
"self.made man." THAT TACT" said
Mr.. Greeley, "relieYes the Almighty OF a
great responsibility"
A debating club at Harlem has settled
the scientific question, "What will be-
come Of the last mauw by declaring
that "He will get lett"
Burglars now loroe fine powder into
sales with air pumps. No lock will be
perfectly secure until man can put the
key-hole IN his pocket.
A woman suggests that when man
breaks his heart it is the same as When
d lobster breaks one OF his claWs-an-
other grows Immediately.
Amos Keeter died in Georgia recently.
Our citizens will remember him az the
tamoosln' little ouss" who spends his
summers in this vicinity.
What silent old world it would be II
men talked only as much as they think.
A fellow would have to carry q rattle
around with him to make noise with.
The old maxim, "Be chaste and you'll
be happy" is contradicted point blank
by Black Hills man, who was chased
ten miles recently by party OF red
skins.
Ifyou merely buy oysters in hopes OF
finding pearls, you must get-up-pearly.
But II you buy them to eat, you can get
shell.
"Wha Is an empire W asked young
ster of his mother yesterday. GA coun.
try governed by an Emperor she re-
piled. "Oh, yes, stead of q policeman
aint iLT
Young ladies at Newark have taker
to decorating sardine-boxes. They are
probably intended as frame for the
yNhn nf
callers.
A young lady whose name is Nellie
Badd, caused a something Of a sensation
the other evening when the servant an
nounced her at the parlor door as Miss
SmeIlie Badd.
"Have you seen the racew inquired
T. W. Davey of Boucicault. "Wha
race?' asked the latter. "Sh-W whis
pered Tom, drawing near "the Sh-hol
run" TaDleau.
The Worcester Press, commenting or
the rumOr that Lydia Thompson is abou
to abandon the ballet business, says
that cher career on the stage is coming
to its. clothes"
Professor-"In one evening I counted
twenty-seVen meteors sitting on my
piazza" Glass expresses great aston.
lshment at the sooiable character OF the
heavenly bodies.
1t is foolishness tor man To try tt
make game of boarding-house CHECKER
by looking at it, under the impression
that steady gaze OF the human eye will
make any animal quail.
"What will the Indians do with theil
money when they get homew inquire.
the Graphic. They WON'T get home with
it, stupid. Do you suppose the noble
white man is entirely dead2
When you feel envious of the million
aire rolling past you In his carriage
console yourself with the solemn, sooth
ing thought that the rich man has no
the slightest show of getting to Heaven
Miss Jarrett, of Maryboro, Ont, was
so overcome with sleep about five weeks
ago that she is still sleeping. She only
wakes for a few minutes now and then.
and nothing can be done to thoroughly
awaken her.
Mrs. George knight, nee Miss Sophie
Worrell, while playing in Memphis re.
gently, iell headlong upon the stage. Ii
was discovered that she had tainted
Proper rest0ratives were applied, and
the play went on.
Will the capitalists and manutactur.
ers listen to the demand that is rising
up in one long irrepressible wall all
over free America, for cheap grade of
Christmas presents, adapted for the
wants ofyoung men on salaries.
Now comes the days when the sturdy
farmer dumps load OF dirt into some
mud-hole in the highway, yelIs "Haw,
BuckV at his of OK, pricks the nigh one
with a bradawl, and goes home under
the impression that he has worked out
his road tax in full.
"Where there's will there's q wayv-
Liberal Scotch farmer, giving his work
people dram: "Awm sorry, Mrs. Nc.
DOugal, ye Gamma take glass on &C.
count of your temperance principles" )"
Mrs. McDougal: "Hoot, mani Ye list
poor't on ma bap ia ROLL am Pll eat it,"
-lPunch.
"Madame," said the witty Partisan
bowling humbly as he. led forward a
country friend, "this is my intimate
friend, NJ. de H., whom have the honor
OF presenting to you. He is not SO fool
ish as he looks" "Madame," said the
countryman, "tbat is precisely where ]
and my friend differ"
A baby IS not a very large thing
"only baby" says the poet. And yet
this lnc0nsequential package of tender
humanity Will, with scarcely an aIpar-
ent effort, drown the heavy breathings
of mighty engine, outbsllow the raging
ocean, Danish sleep from two decks oil O
steamboat, and chain the attention OF u
hnu.and alQppV uaeaanOara for