Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1877-06-30

planting both elbows on the counter,
asked:
us the ed'tur in?
-Clerk-"No, sir. What is the nature
of your business 2"
Cus-"Waal, id like to see the ed'tur
himself eff could. I've got little DIVER
tisement want prented in the paper"
Clerk-ssThe editor does not receive
| advertisements. That is my business.
Have you got it written out?''
Gus. producing dirty scrap of paper
-ssYaas; s'pOse you'll prent it for moth
ing for an old subscriber? I'm sellin'
out. you know, and there's heap o.
folks roun' our way takes your paper.
an they'd like t. know bout it. We know.
It'll be ies' s gold news as we've got In
yer paper"
Clerk-"It will cost you one dollar per
insertion"
Gus. (explosively) jumping je-!
whew! One dollar, an ben takin' your
paper four years"
Clerk-"We make nothing on your sub
scriptiOn. Your newspaper is the cheap
est thing that goes into your house. The
advertisements are all we have to live
on"
Customer looked riled, and finally
grabbed his scrap of paper and bounced
out; but after scratching his head reflect
lively for few minutes outside the door,
re-entered.
Say? Yell do it for half price form
old subscriber, won't YEP"
Clerk (decdedly)-"Can't do it, SIR"
Cus.-"Waal, there's your dollar"
A clergyman entered, sOlemn-visaged
and specialized.
IL am going to hold special services
here during The week. Iwish you would
announce it, and please mention that a
collection will be taken up at the close OF
each meeting"
Clerk fnnocently)-"What space do
you wish the advert sament to occupy?'
Minister-"Oh, merely desire IN edi-
torial notice not an advertisement"
Clerk-"We can announce your meet
ing only in the form OF an advertise
ment."
Minister (warmly)-"But this, sir. is a
matter Of public interest, of spiritual inn
pOrtance To your readers. You must fill
your columns with something, and sure
ly nothing can be of more surprising in
tereSt than my meetings"
Clerk-s'We must be permitted to edit
our paper i'm our own way. If you take
reasonable space in the regular adver-
Using columns we shall be pleased to
make short local reference to your an
nOuncement."
Minister DISQUALIFICATION exceed
ingly worldly! My dear young friend,
how can you expect to prosper in u
Christian country"
Clerk (quietly)-"The best Christians
that L am acquainted with are those that
pay their way and ask no favOrs. If there
were not few of that sort in the world |
don't know how we could pay our wages
bills"
Minister-''I shall consult my friends
and stalked out, rejecting severely on
the character OF men who couldn't run a
newspaper without money.
just then i'm rushed Herr Schweitz. the
ham and sausage dealer. putting trench
lousy, and greatly excited:
ii sliust got ycrsu briZe mid mine bo-
lognies i'm der fair. IL is great nOos fur
der bcrbles. You will make one good
nOtiZ, ELI 2"
Cierk-"Shall write out an advertise
ment for you!"
Schweitz with shrug of SURPRISED
"Eerlisemenl? Men, MEN! Eat is nOOs,
der vest noOs: vOt is de baber mitout
news?"
Clerk-''That sort of news must lie
paid for"
There was a sigh from behind the
counter rs the di>gisted Dutchman vail
iShed. The news" business was becOm-
inT{ slight X In0nuIOuouS.
The doorway WAS shortly illuminated
by II v 81 III of loveliliess. n weli-dre<sed
lady, smiling in most bewitching mau-
ner. stepped to the counter, causing the
exhau- tie young man to strike new po-
sitiOn. finger his necktie cOnvulsively,a and
get off his other smile. although he was
inwardly fearful that she was only beg
gar like the rest.
Lady $50 sweetly)-"I want to ask if
you will be so kind rs to notice OF social
to be held next Tuesday evening F the
benefit of the Ladies' Gospel Aid society.
Tickets only % cents, and am sure (and
here she smiled a smile that agitated his
very boot you will buy couple, won't
yOu?"
Clerk (head in a whirl)-"Well, no,
thank you; gaining cOurage) we get
about a peck mouth of these social
tickets presented to us. You couldn't
get newspaper man to use one of them,
nOC lOr pay.
Lady-"WelI you will give us a nice
notice anyway? II will be a good item
of news.'
Clcrk-''I shall be most happy to write
an advertisement and insert it ut our
usual rate"
The smile at once went out and the
lady did likewise. leaving the now dis
tracted youth to wonder if there was
anything i'm lite worth living for.
AS she left the office young chap
came in, and said simply: Cook want
ell, references required, 230 John street,
placed 25-cent piece on the counter,
and turned away. The clerk gaZed IA
moment OIL that Decent piece, and then
on the retiring figure, rushed after him,
and burst into tears. with the following
words: "Give MS yer hand. old fellow !;
you are the first man. woman or child
THAT has called that was not a dead beat
in disguise, trying to beg publicity for
their own business, under the pretense
that it was news Shake, say! You
are square man and a gentleman, it you
are only IL 25-center."
A WOman's H0ardings.
The Dover NH, Democrat has the fol-