The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1877-04-13

furnll old son Nv fspensapeny, If you /
don't stop hOwlin here in the strete in |
brord day lite about nuthin but twinses
I'll ketch you by the nap NV yo neck, |
fling you into the middil nv Mills gard |
ing and leave you thar a mass NV frag-
minis fur boys to fling at kats with"
This stOpt him. " All !" he says,
ali this ar worP NV much wind on
the stummick and skeersly nuthin in
the breaches pockit." And with that he
shuffled off his mortal kile in the dreck
shun NV his own house.
! went to mine madd-madd with
dub'l " d." And | says to my wife:
" Did you know old Meekins had
twinses ?'
"Know it ?" she says, g didn't I tell
you the very day they was borned %
" May be you mout," | says, but my
mind hav bin so gummd and glue up
with politix and returnin bodies that
C." you bored me every item yoS
returned home till visit them bordes, as
you call um, was naild over your
mouth"
We'll" says, what doc you think
NV it?
That were the wrongest questun that
ever | axed in all my lie. 1t let down
the talc-bode NV her naturally lerge
lumler cart NV elloquense, and She
drownded me then and thar.
Think NV it ," she skrcakt. Think
NV it? It's the outrageousest owdashus-
est peece NV impertinence that's bin
puppetrated in my naborhood in forty
odd year. It's sin and a shame and a
shockin overwhelmin skandil tnat pepil.
pretendin to be desunt shood act in that
way. Genteel pepil, like sum | know,
don't have no twinse-they' got more
regard for sersiety than to hav UNI. But
know the Meekinses NV old. They had
um puppus-a puppus -stompln her
foot and drappin her nittin--" jest to git
into motifs and to git good things to eat.
And mo things has cum To the Meekins
since them twinses was horned than
got pashunce to tell about. Bread cake,
pies, puddins, breakfasts, dinners appils,
oranges, prunes, dux, potridges, M3llegy
grapes-thar is old Meekins eatin sum
this very mint"
Shure nuf, thar was old Meekins set
: tin by his seilar dore a dom sum of the
dolefulest chawin You ever see.
"Yes." she went on, % its a delibrit,
Geep-lade plan o git notyriety and rise
in sersity. But they couldn't deseey
memo! | never encouraged twinses,
and never will They gifts no custard
I and thin biskit from this house, nor they
never won't" And then her wurds duv-
/ tailed and run into one nuther that fast
/ that | couldn't make out nuthin she
said-nuthin but "Jib jib jib-jab jab
/ iab-iibjab jibiab iibjab-jibber jabber
/ iibber jabber iibber jabber--whing whang
/ fling fang bling bang ding dang ling lang
! ping pang ting tang ring rang--r-r r-r--
attertatter- clatterspatter
( Whew | had heerd ny heated turn,
/ but here was a heated turmigint Nv the
wust kind with a veniunce. Jodge Sc
! Jest did leeve me the top NV my he'd and
! that wereall. | wore thankful far that,
/ becoz see how it were in a fash--the
old oman were black mad with je'lus
envy NV the po' little afickted Mrs
Meekins, a good woman as her husband
is no count.
riz.
Madum " sys I, DRAWN myself up
to my fool hight. " Madum " says in
tones NV sopesuds and thunder "Madum
faint 90 use, ne erthly use. | amt
Aberham," and stoopin down and pokin
my face into hern, nor you ain Sary,
neither. 80 shet rite upp'
She's 60 last grass if she's day, and
even open her lips. She sniff me down
with kontempt and konsintrated venum
that druv me spang out'n the hous, and
| found myself in the back poche, holrin
at the pitch, tar and turkentime NV my
vols, " gimme ar gimme ar fur mursy'
sake gimme ar !" fur | were neerly ded,
that whurlwind Nv words had tux my
breth away so.
Old Meekins's cook, LIzsr, a likely
woman, cum outn the kitchin to see
what were the matter. | reckin she thot
| were distrackted, but old Meekins didn
even turn his he'd, he were so bizZy with
his Mallegy grapes.
My son Floojins, my yungest child
bout nine yere old goin on ten, and a
good boy, tho l say it--Floojins had
heerd his muther what she said, and fol
rim me into the back poche, went down
the steps, sayin as he went by;
Doggon my skin of kats, I'll fix
him"
With that he begun huntin roun the
yard till he diskivered a rusty old pad
lock, and takin good aim at Meekins, he
let fly, and by the Twins he presto-ve
toed him Off the face of the erth. lie
Jest blotted him rite out. Thar were the
cheer he set in, thar were his hat anC
sum few skatrin grapes, but Meekini
was nowhar. Floojins had wiped hin
into thin ar. stood def and dunn witt
establishment, for Wyman hisself neve
played trick equal to that.
But bimeby, ten minits by the wOtch
here cum OLD Meekins out Nv the sellar
a site to sea conglOberashun NV blud
teers, har, eyebrows, skins, and crap,
JUST, feerful to behole. 1t were horri
bill, but it were funny too. / lafft till
neerly died, and Iizer cum out, took thu
old man to the hydraRt, wosht him OF
with dish rag, and led him slow an,
paneiul into the hous.
This brot me to my senses and shameC
me so | didn know what to do. 50
, lookt down in the yard to find FloojRs
Nary Floojins did l find But presintl,
/ seen him in Mills's garding-he haC
gone thar to commune with his own lit
tie innersent and confident self | pu
on my hand, went over 10 whar Mr.
Bowers, the stove man is a hildin sun
houses, gethered me peece NV skantlln
and lit into that Floojins till yol
would thot the Chesapeake q Ohie
frate trane was cumin in on item and
howlin.
1t dun me good and it dun the DO,
good, but it didn't help Meekins. II,
lost enuf skelp to kiver trab-bail, and
feel so sorry for him. line a goin t,
take up sub~kripshun NV calf skin t,
mend it. DIR Eo. IN: n V the old MAJ
will be out in ii wct K If the urrosipelu
don't set in and bis tung don't get sort
agin. But Pm not gOin to bed till | d.
what's rite by po' old Meekins.
I've recent a good old age, have trav
lied fur and wide. hav eat heep, bin t.
Moth Killing, iivd in Amherst, sc en- much
and dun meny things, but Meekins havr
twinses lays over enything that evei
hapined in my time. Its the went O
the age. Nv all and NV all Meekins
Twinses! l don't bleev it. faint so
kinnot onderstan it. My bride litenir
bugs throws no lite on the subject. l.:
a dark misteryus MYSTERY
MoZIs ALBUMS.
Konfexnery & Fede Sto.
Rockitts, Dec. 81, 1876.
Scene in Court.
William, look-tell US, William, who
made your"
William, VINO was considered fool