The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1877-04-26
THE Jokes or THE WEEK.

While Europe breathless, stands and waits,
And war In every rumor Turks,
Tis not too late for Sergeant Bates
To so and JoinIthe Turks.
-[Oommerclal Advertiser
A new society has been organized in
Monroe. None but young men are ad-
mitted. When a candidate is initiated
he has tin badge put on the lapel of
his coat, and then, in order to show his
humility, he is taken in charge by some
OF the members, who walk him around
the square with placard on his back
on which is inscribed this conundrum:
What am in this world for?' 1t is
quite amusing to the boys till the candi-
date discovers the point Milwaukee
Sentinel.
They were husband and wife, and as
they stood before the Capitol in Wasng-
ton she asked Whats that figure on
top? That's goddess, he answered.
And what's a goddess ? "A woman
who holds her tongue he replied. She
looked at him sideways, and then began
planning how to make peach pie with
the stones in it for the benefit of his sore
TOOTH Erie Dispatch.
The Raleigh News reports the death
Of Benjamin Johnson of Chatham, N. c..
at the age Of 100 years. He lived to see
his great grandchildren married The
old gentleman subdues all our pride in
the FIVE or six centenarians of the En-
pire State who within fortnight past,
at ages ranging from Io2 to ITO, have
hurried off to premature graves Com
mercial Advertiser.
When a young man from Harvard is
asked if he will always love her thus, he
does not answer, Will a duck swim?
Science has taken the place of poetry,
and he replies, will evolution from the
unconditional working in protoplasm by
accretion and absorption produce the
organic cell? Then he inquiries Ian
guidly if there are any cold beans about
the house.-Norwich Bulletin.
Ifany one thing perplexes an honest,
upright man more than another it is to
receive a gift of $1,000 or so by mail, and
the donor forget to give his name, there
bymaking it impossible for you to follow
your inclinations and promptly return
the money Norriston Herald.
The Same Old Game. The Musical
World informs us that the Abbate Franz
List has been invited to Loo by the
King Of the Netherlands. However, it
is only, the paragraph states, to the end
of the month. So the Loo isn't unlim-
ited.- Punch.
A country girl wrote to her lover:
Now, George don't you fale to be at the
singing school tonight George wrote
back that In the bright lexicon of youth
-Worcesters-theres no such word as
fale.'
The general public will rejoice to
know that organdies will be quite the
thing this season--it is so seldom that
an itinerant organ dies or resigns Wor-
cester Press.
A Mr.. Porter was among the heaviest
winners at a recent California horse race,
and ever since then his friends invaria-
bly, meet him with the remark Porter,
how's stakes p Puck.
The demise of the President of the
Ohio Fat Mems Association leaves
great void in that State, and one which,
it is feared, it will be impossible to fill,
= Commercial Advertiser
You can always detect bachelor by
the way he handles baby. but to be
safe from loss it is we'll to use borrowed
baby in makingt the experiment. Rome
Sentinel,
War apprehended = is the announce
ment. If war has been apprehended,
let him be bound over to keep the peace.
i Commercial Advertiser.
There is some talk of starting funny
paper in Rome--a sort of Roman Punch
| you know Commercial Advertiser,
In order to adapt the parasols to firt-
| ing this spring bambooz'll be used for
the frames.- Graphic.
With the dogs of war let loose in the
East, Mu'zlman will have his hands
full Express.
A Parliamentary Fowl-The hen that
made a motion to lay on the table.
l. Puck.
Simms testifes in Devens of the At
torney- General. : Graphic.