The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1877-09-11
FRESH FLASHES OF Fun.


! gauge garter| OF the style in the time of
James are coming into vogue.
Anna Eliza shed many tears when she
heard OF her eX-hushand's death. She
was sorry it hadn't happened before.
| What is the difference between post
hole and speaki & trumpet? One is
followed on and tile otner bOllered in.
Some genius proposes to Introduce
paper shirls. But a shirt made out OF
a story paper would have Too many
tales.
1t was little four-year old who
picked up leather IN The yard and
said That "a dove dropped it out Of his
pocket"
Next to. English sparfows there is
nothing tnaJ increases faster than po-
tato bugs, unless it is the interest on an
iunpAIh nuie.
After successful cremation a man
doesn't weigh AS much as a SiX-mOntns-
OLD baby. Bat He is u great deal easier
to taAG care OF.
The tour ,ar.J0urnal thinks the best
thing to remove dandrutf 'Is undouht-
edly n Si.uX." l,p mat dandIutf
Ijokey-LGfapAlc.
An orator declaring that Fortune
Knocked at every man's door once, an
lrishman said, "When she knocked at
mlne L must have been out"
In oiden times the boys used to draw
picture' of ships on the slate. Now they
draw SohoJners aud nave them put On
tue STATE Hartford Gso1e.
The Fortnyhtly Review has an alb e
article on ''W ater as Il Beverages" :"
whereupon the Albany Express says
"rhe iUea appears to be leaaIDle."
Father to son just from Col ege-
"W hat have y learned at your col
lese" Owe never learn 0nythi z; they
! don't lei y0u see me newspapers."
'My luck" exclaimed b lhp1nian
"is So atrouIOusly bad lHaL l believe il
were to invest In some soap, washing
would go out Of fashion Tomorrow"
| A New York paper speaks of a we'll
| known restaurant kepper as an "au-
steie, studioUs man." You should have
uaried him an o. str stowdIous man.
just a Jew more mOOus-a few more
| sWlitly gliding weeks, and yOu'Il b.
kicking yourself 10 having fOun. fuult
| Win hot Weather. Detroit Ere. Press,
1t kind o gives US all a pleasant thrill
10 Bear an English doctor remark thai
ne never Knew ii fool TO have Il cold in
tue head. HoN's your Sc, neighbor?
Where one woman scans the horizon
for signs OF tue dawn OF a brighter era.
ten ate scouting among Lheir melghbors
trying tO borrow saleTatus.- L m - Sem
tine!.
"Base is the slave that pas" Our
creditors are askr5' 4" observe the poetic
beauty 0. the foregoing line. Shak ,peare
| WAS no siOucu.- urner j il alIs Il =
porter
The summer has been so drY in some
of the northern counties o, Iowa that the
boys are compelled TO walk twelve miles
10 nnQ creek big enough TO drown iu.-
HaWkele.
Artul assistant: Eyes, num- these
ar real turkish towels; can'L get amy
more Wnen these are sOlu, mum. All the
TOW Welmakcrs nave been Cal Ell out now
70 Ii ghL The Russians"
Some persons are great at one thing
and some at another. Many a woman
wac can WI lte page a.ter page of i0yel
pc ry can't catcn LOl,. Of a suuaiing
babe Without nearly yanking It's ann,
OIL.
IN the sentence, John strikes Will
lam,'" remai keu IA sclU0l.leacner len-
! eruay, "W"aL is the object Oi strikes 20
l'LIgner wages and snorter Iuua,"
promptly replied the lntelIlkenJ pupil
| IaWkGye,
J johnny lost his knife. After search.
ing i'll one pocket and another uuil lie
mad been through all, without SUCCESS,
ne exclaimed: con, dear! L Wish | nal
another pocAct; migAt be in tAaL."-
| Port Chester journal.
A good little boy WHO was kicked BY
a muIe uld not say naughty words or 90
holhe G. ylng 10 bIs mother; he just tied
The mule Within i've feet vi ID bee hive,
backed ann around To IL, and let Dim
kIck.-l Philadelphia Press.
A Western lawyer, who was defend
ing man on trial for Wiie-mu der,
sought Aor some eupneli US phrase with
wuich to descrlb ills cIIenPs crime, ana
tinally said: 'He wInnowed her into
Paradise villa d lenee-rail."
When we see an item headed "Iyy
Poisoning" we know some person mas
been poisoned by IVY; but wnen we see
"Wlie Poisoning" the " lie is not the
poisoner, but tue poisoned. A beautl-
lully simple Language is ours.
Guesl-"HOw did cabpages happen to
grow III that alleywa!; tney certainl,
could not have been planted there" p"
Acu e portef-"La, no; JnatS where the
ge'men THROW their Havana cIg II
stumps."-[ Philadelphia Press.
Catching Tartar-Governess: "Do
YOU know, Ernest, LnaL 1 heard of a
ii tie boy not older Jnan you who eau
read ana wnte well, and VINO has begun
LatIn." Ernest: 'Uh, L say, whal "A
JullF gooa teacher he must have?"
-[Puncn.
A big tree of California, when cut up
yielded no tess than loug hundred thou
sand shingles. Here is an opportunity
Tor The statistical tiend to hgure out now
many thousand square ieet vi surface OF
oau boy these shingles would make
smart.-l NorrlsLowu L%rald.
Lodgel--"Now, look here, Mrs. Crum-
pie, I've missed pound oi tea, poi OF
Jam, and han botJIe OF brandy. Now.
don't say iVs The caLp Mrs. DrQmvle-
"Me, sIr! l should he The last 70 ac.
cuse any body-least~ unless it were
tne COLORADO beadle."-[London Funny
Folks.
Oae test Of great mind is its instan.
y tane0us availability IN AN emergency.