Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1877-08-04
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.
Two of a trade seldom agree.

jeff. Davis is said to be pennies.
Mustard plasters are the spice of
life.
Charley Ross was stolen three
years ago July 1st.
Give neither counsel nor salt till
you are asked for it.
Bon voyage is the French way of
saying good-by, John.
"Mud billiards" is what grace
less reporter calls croquet.
Modern marriages begin with
court and end with court.
Harvard boys brains measure six
teen inches around the upper arm.
A mosquito ought to be capital
poker player. He fills every time he
draws.
The yachtsman who sat dcwn on a
short tack, is now running on long
stretch.
You never know how pleasant it is
to have people lie until YOU go to San
Francisco.
Frank Kite. Treasurer of Howard
county, Iowa, has fed -"and thereby
hangs tale"
DR.. Tying, the well-known clergy
man of New York, is said to be worth
half a million.
Bob Ingersoll believes 10 baptizing
children, provided you put little
soap into the water.
Holland protests against the annex
alton of the Transvaal Republic to
the British Empire.
We should never remember the
benefits we have conferred, nor for
get the favors received.
"Ralph Waldo Emerson is great
thinker" SAYS Boston paper. Yes,
he thinks great deal Of dollar.
"There now," said a little girl,
rumaging IN drawer, "Grandpa has
gone to heaven without his specta-
cles."
'Tom, what in the world put mat
rimony into your head" Well the
fact is, Joe, l was getting short of
shirts"
II is reported Sir James Ferguson,
the well-known diplomat, is to sue
ceed Lord Dufferin as Governor Gen
eral of Canada.
A country boy who saw pile of
HOLSTERS in fish market, exclaimed:
"By gracious! them's the biggest
grasshoppers I've ever seem"
"Honesty is the best policy" said
the grocer" but it keeps "a man
shocking poor" and he wetted the
sugar without sanding it.
Some one seeing two or three law
yers at the site of a new courthouse,
said they had met to view the ground
where they must shortly lie.
An Irishman visiting churchyard
with friend, pointing to shady
quiet nook, said, "This is the spot /
intend being laid, if I'm spared
Spriggins says he once prevented
a severe case of hydrophobia 10y
simply getting on high fence and
waiting there till the dog had gone
away.
An Iowa paper gives thrilling ac-
count of the efforts of young man
to take home a widow and three
swarms of bees at the same time in II
wagon.
The young man who deliberately
takes two girls with him when he
goes out for a moonlight stroll de-
serves to be henpecked all the rest of
his life.
Several Yale students have asked
permission to accompany Captain
Tyson on his polar expedition. If
they get it, they should sing "Yale
to the Chief !"
The war is already benetiting
American ship-masters. For long
voyages, merchants prefer to charter
flags not likely to be embroiled in
the present war.
Alphabetically a New Hampshire
paper says that if it devotes more
space to the bo.ato-bug than to the
Legislature, it is because the bugs are
doing the most work.
When your wife asks for money to
buy a new dress, look injured and
ask her if she realizes that the re-
mon-e-ti-za-tion of silver has be.
come national necessity. That il
the best word for the energy.