The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1877-05-12
Onr Philadelphia letter.

PHILADELPHIA Pa, May 8, 1877.
On Thursday, May Sd, Captain DooNER, (pro.
prletor Of Green's restaurant, Eighth and Chest
nut slreets) had good Joke played on him by a
ten.pound lobster which he had placed in the
show window OF the ladies' restaurant. 1t ap-
pears that his loDsie iership was alive ana kicking
and his claws were unpluged when he was
placed in the Eighth street show window
amid choice strawberries, gigantic asparagus
huge shad, rayishlng tenderons, and lots and
lots Of nice t'd.bits. But what was this to Mr..
Lobsterl why nothing at all Just at this IN
stant the eyes OF this choice salad.tish aliehted
upon the driukables. Now, in the wildow there
was claret, champagne, whiskey. (GlOsOn's
bestl. and the choicest vintage of Sherry but
none of these the lobster wanted. He wished a
brandy smash" ana he had IT, too +: for, espy-
ing bottle OF prime French brandy in one cor
ner OF The window, this naughty, naughty deni.
zen of the mighty deep clutChed afOi esaid bot
| tie 0y the NECK with one OF his powerful claws.
| and, as the claw did not give way, the neck OF
| tine bottle did Ahl such sight such q
| sight The lobster had his smash and bOtt Q
of brandy IN the bargain Wasn't this good
| JOKE on the genial Captain DOoner
| The entertainment gwen on the 18TH OF
| April at Athletic Hail. for the benefit OF the
| families OF Policemen Boyer and Lucas, who
| were killed at the North Broad street railway
CROSSING netted 81 2SO6O officer George Z ClOpp
| OF the 18th district, IS deserving OF much honor
| tor the energetic part he took III this deserving
orphans prayers will shield him in many of the
dangers that Deset his duties as u faithful Oil
| GER"
| MIR Editor, In your last issue you say 1T is
| surprising how qulckly bakers loaves shrink
when the price of flour RISES even the slight
est" But nave you forgotten how handy 1t Is
toc the baker to slip the bread through the key
hole when you don't want to get up carly in the
mornmgl
Happy is the mortal who reads advertise
ments Us well as Dews; III laCt. L sometimes
find there Is more news and WIT III advertise
ments Jnan IN the news" itself Let me give
you few samples clipped from one Ot our
leading dailies: -
country. Call" The advertiser certainly
shows profound knowledge of the art OF 40.
prevailing IN the above instance. Though 1t is
white.
"A woman wants cooking; no objection to
country" This woman ought TO know, by this
time, that Cannibalisn is not fashionable either
in town or country. II she "wDnts COOKING,
trip to the Cannibal Islands would be just the
thing lor her.
"a woman wants washing Not engaged on
Monday" Cleanliness Is next to Goodness IT
, This is u true saying but 1t tne advertiser is
mot engaged on Monday" 1t must be that she
washes the rest OF the week. IL does seem pro
per thai she should ta6e q rest" aud give
, somebody else chance at the soap and water
for there are other people who want washing
} beside he self.
''An amlable child.nurse wishes a situatiop
/ competent 10 take entire charge and box thC
ears oil the children with the greatest iacintY.'
The last eleven wo DIS have added 90 as TO ex
ANY person can make an independent liy
| ing" The advertiser Is emitted to the thanki
OF the community fOr above Information
, "OWn Valuable PatenG-Need Money, witt
services of actl g, good business man. TnOus
z andS in II. Address -" Here, not Ouiy u
the money OF n good business man" desired
i Dut his 'serVices" also. And lll because tn
advertiser owns valuable patent" 'rhOuS
E ands IN tP' OF course there ls-tO get.
"a lady who has lOSt her baby viii adopt on
fol reasonable compensation" Who can fiJhOI
Z the griel Of tnis bereaved woman as sne hug
some body elses child to her breast and draw
a sey erai dollars week iOc doing SO
"Lost-lhursday, Nay 80, hver and whit
Y hea-bitten setter dog, TAM cut ra Lher short
Liberal reward lfreturncd to -" Ialk aUou
9 cruelty to animals Only think OF thIs pol
liver and whiIe 1ta-bit en- setter dog" WIT
his tall-nOt cut short, but WORSE -CuI raLne
k short ~ All cut IL short
IN 'Manted-A First Cass Drummer. Apply 9
Y "Hark to the sound Of the rolling drum"
II The drummer with his cheek ana goods dot
come.
e Observation-Disclosures the 9th of Februarl
1871, ny the Rev. Fa,her MulhOland, NJ
Francls Jerry McGOwn 20 Miss Mary Rode
NOicards, no cake and nO0Ody's Dunness" IN
cards. no cake, and nObOuys business ~ "'Nu
ced l'-thnt settles it for
Yours truly, without cake,
le MARCUTIo.