The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1877-08-03
The Daily Leader.
~Onicial paper of the City, County, Ter
ritory and United states.
MISCELLANEOUS.

papa. rs.t .
1t is very hard to convince bald
headed man that flies are sent into this
world for our good.
"There must be lawn order" said
the jndge yesterday, pushing his little
mower vigorously. Rochester Demo-
crat.
For spendthrifts who are ''making
hole in their money" we have the in
formation that money with holes in it
is refused.
A Spanish proverb says, "The man
who, on his wedding day, starts as a
lieutenant in the family, never gets
promoted
The croquet champion Of Calhoun
county, Ga, is a child of ninety-nine
years. So smart and with such short
practice, too!
The latest invention is thermome-
ter which has dial and shows the heat
in its face-the same as fat man does.
Worcester Press.
In Philadelphia court, the other
day, a man named Moisten was de-
Tended by lawyer named Goforth. 1t
is no unusual thing to see lawyer and
his client Goforth and Moisten.
AL ktlldilJd SlIl SdU Ol lltI lONolo
and kept him three hours over time.
The next time that young man goes to
see his girl he should have his hat on a
nail instead of holding it in his lap.
Yet another warning. Joseph Bates,
in an armful of wood. Show this
paragraph to your wife. Nay, cut it
out and pin it to the woodshed door.
Madame" said certain nameless
one to Mrs. Brown, the other day, ''you
are talking simple rubbish" eyes
SIR" replied the ever-crushing lady,
me.n
ADelaware man, arrested for murder,
proved that on that night and at the
hour of the murder he was at home
whipping his wife, and this fact saved
him. A word to the wise is, and so
forth.
Photographer: 'sMadam, why do you
persist in moving so near the camera"
Old lady: "You see, Pm little near
sighted, and Pm afeard won't take
a good picture so far off" Harper's
BaZar.
A daily paper advertises for woman
to scrub hotel, and Immediately be-
low advertises for two or three young
men to learn to make fringe and but
tons. Do let us have some nice, light
work for the poor men!
Pater familias; Tomorrow is the
tutors birthday; what can get for
PRESENT." Charley (who has been
watching the dogs in the street,: "Get
him muzzle, papa; he is always biting
the governess in the cheek"
The missing arms of the Venus of
Milo have been discovered, and will be
soon restored to her. They come in
rather handy; fly time is approaching,
and she will need her hands to brush
these troublesome insects away.
"Gentlemen of the jury" said Bal
timore lawyer in the criminal court,
'sdo you believe that my client was
guilty of selling beer to a boy in small
bottle?" The jury thought it was
mixed proposition, and disagreed.
Teetotum tells us that Miss Bu-
chanan, once rallying brave soldier
on his courage, said: ''Now, Captain
-, do you really mean to tell me
you can walk up to cannon's mouth
without fear?'' Eyes, twas the prompt
reply, "or to a Buchanan's either"
And he did it.
The poet Collins was much attached
to young lady, who was born the day
before him, and who did not return his
passion. "Yours is hard case," said
a friend. ssIt is so indeed" replied
Collins, "for came into the world a
day after the fair.''
''Chemistry!" yelled brakeman as
the train stopped at station on the
Watertown branch of the Fitchburg
road. "Well, well," said western
man on board, ''they're death on
science around here. 1 suppose the
next stop will be at geometry"
Gentlemen of the jury" said a New
York Judge, trying a prisoner for
murder, ''they say that the fact of the
prisoners killing his sweetheart shows
that he was insane. Merciful powers!
gentlemen, if that be So, what would
they have said if he had married her?"
A young man in lower Gold Hill WIS.,
| tied his sweetheart last night, and
when he left stole the dog of the house
and got half dollar for the brute at
Marshal McCleery's canine asylum. A
man cannot afford to spend his time for
nothing these hard times, not even
when courting. [Gold Hill News.
The Saratogaian tells the following:
cat the Delaware and Hudson station,
yesterday, a lady and gentleman climbed
up on either side of the seven-foot
picket fence that extends through the
arcade, to kiss each other goodbye.
They had previously attempted to kiss
between the pickets but space forbade"
When the bridge fell at Bath the
other day, Somersetshire yokel, who
was one of the first picked out of the
water, edited everybody by shrieking
in accents of anguish, as he pointed to
a woman who was still in the stream,
s'There's my wife! I'll give six pence
to the man that saves her,"
A young man having been requested
at a dinner to reply to the time-honored
toast Of "Woman," closed his remarks
with the familiar quotation from Scott:
80 woman, in thine hours OF ease.