davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1877-05-02

There may not be gold, but there's no
question about the quantity of lead in the
Black Hills. Every Indian has gun full
of it, and isn't stingy.
"When l die" said married man, 6
want to 90 where there is no snow to
shovel" His wife said she presumed he
would.
The statesman who is now shouting that
the war has been fought in vain is usually
the one who didn't get postotiice.
With the utmost care one can make but
very few friends; whilst host of enemies
may be made without taking care at all.
The Spring style of fever is the same as
last year--which is probably why the
tramps affect it.
Rich men will soon learn TO make their
wills in favor of lawyers, to avoid contest.
How to avoid taking severe cold in the
Spring-commit suicide in February.
Sheet iron for stove-pipe elbows is now
cut bias by fashionable tinsmiths.
Smyrna times., 1877-05-02

a BUSINESS WoMAN.-Thc day after New
Years Madame Blank asked her husband
for a new dress. But, my dear friend"
said he, "This is the third in two months,
and you know very we'll times are so very
hard that -" you will kill me-" re-
piled the disappointed woman bursting
into tears, land my funeral expenses will
cost you more than Il new dress. But
would have to bury you only once, was the
comforting rejoinder.
Smyrna times., 1877-05-02
A Happy Place.

"What is the state of morals in your dis
trictw asked long faced reformcr, Of
farmer who recently visited town.
"Pretty good, y replied the farmer, "every-
body seems disposed to mind his own bust
ness in our parts.
Envable farmer! If you have an ounce
of pity for your kind, telegraph your exact
latitude and longitude. Delectablc town
" Everybody disposed to mind his own
business" Let's all emigrate thither |!
Neghbor Jones over the way will never
know or care whether we have fish balls or
beefsteak for breakfast Squire jenkins
and his wife, up in the big house, will never
bother themselves tc inquire whether our
great grandfather was hod carrier or a
descendant Of Lord Littlebrain. If our
daughters choose to wear their last years
bOnnets, not a saucy tongue shall whisper
that "the old mans failed" If our hus-
bands are civil enough to lift their hats
when they meet a lady acquaintance, we
shall not straightway be visited by Neigh
Dor Spywell and Madam Quarrelmaker; for
these twain shall find no abiding place in
the land where everybody minds his own
business" If our wives take a fancy to
make visit home without publishing then
intentions and q full statement of reasons
thereof, we shall not at once be accused ot
being cruel and unfaithful by Mr.. Long
tongue, for friend l.. will find his occupa
ton gone and emigrate to more cOngenial
climes. If by some lapse of conscience OIL
in some hour Of overwhelming temptation
some friend has erred we shall never know
it, but can 60 on trusting him and loving
him, and SO encourage him to be his trIC
self again and always; for Mr.. Faultfndci
and his cousin, Mr.. Maket worse, will neve
come to that happy region to stay. w,
have never been a very firm believer in th'
millennium, but if that farmer tells til,
truth and lies not, we are satisfied that tn,
millennium has commenced. Heaven gran
that it may not long be confined to on
locality-we need it badly over in Mace
donia.
Smyrna times., 1877-05-02

Don't preach charity and leave somebody
else to practice it.
Smyrna times., 1877-05-02

A SAFE MoTTO.-When you have q
doubtful coin put it in the contribution
box. If it is good deed of charity will be
done; if bad, the intent will appear to be
good.
Smyrna times., 1877-05-02

They say that Wendell Phillips night
mares are much superior to his speeches.
Smyrna times., 1877-05-02

Tom Thumb is going to Texas to live and
the Chicago Times says some day we shall
hear of Tom being waylaid and abducted
by Texas grasshopper.
Smyrna times., 1877-05-02

The genius of excise legislation has ordi-
narily expended itself in licensing liquor
sellers; but the far-seeing legislators of
Oregon now propose to license consumers.
Every man who intends to drink intoxicat-
ing liquors will have to pay So for license,
and then he can get drunk as often as he
likes. Saloon-keepers who sell liquor to
those who have neglected to take out
licenses will be subject to heavy penalties
Smyrna times., 1877-05-02

USEFUL HINrs.-A small piece Of paper
or linen, moistened with spirits Of turpcn-
tine and put into a bureau or wardrobe for
a single day, two or three times, is said to
be a sufficient preservative against moths.
Parents should be very careful and not
let the rays of the sun shine directly upon
the faces of sleeping children. Strong
light is very injurious to the eyes, cspe,
cially if they are inclined to weakness.
Two teaspoonfuls Of fincly-powdercd
charcoal, drank in half a tumbler of water
will often givarelief to the sick headache
when caused, as in most cases it IS, by a
superabundance Of acid in the stomach.
Smyrna times., 1877-05-02

The wealth of some dairying districts is
enormous. .Herkimer, New York, is said
to ship annually over 100000 pounds of
butter-worth $4,5OO,OOO. Little Falls,
New York, perhaps as much. st Albans,
Vermont, ships 100000 pounds of cheese,
2,750,000 pounds of butter, worth in the
market $1,250,000. The village of We'll
lington, Ohio, shipped 100000 pounds of
Of cheese in 1869, worth $500,000. The
products of the dairy are sold for cash, and
hence the returns are quick. This industry
enables the manufacturer to reduce large
bulk of food into a small compass, through
the two processes of feeding COWS and
manufacturing the production.
Smyrna times., 1877-05-02

MORE Truth Than POETRY. More
than one wife, as She reads the following
words of Rev. Mr.. Murry, will wonder how
he came to know her husband and herself
so well:
Some people have way of doing good
as ifit hurt them. II certainly hurts those
whom they nominally benefit. Some hus-
bands have a way Of giving a five dollar bill
burns in her pocket all day and it kindles
fire into her temper at night. And the fire
short, she is mad and she has a right to be
mad. She would not be half a woman if
she wasn't
Smyrna times., 1877-05-02
WHOLE NO. 1,14S.

A good story is told Of wcll-known
New York broker, who, on his way home
from the club managed to occupy con
siderebly more than two-thirds Of the
Madison avenue sidewalk. In this pre-
dicamcnt he was met by two secdy in.
dividuals, who first relieved him Of his
watch, and then tumblcd him over into the
snow. As he lay there shouting for help,
two other individuals came along and in
quired: whats the natter Why,
said the broker, "here Ive-his-bcen
robbed my-hic-watch" "Didn' they
take your money!" asked the strangers.
" Don't know said the broker, feeling in
his breastpocket for his wallet "No, here
'tis-hic-money's all right "Wcll, wei
take that then" said the strangers, as
they seized the wallet and disappeared
around the first corner.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1877-07-23
Swan Lake Era. July 10

Jim Black, an old settler of Spring Val
ley, reached his old stamping ground last
Wednesday. Jim has been in Illinois since
last fall, but is willing to try Dakota inst
once more.
Charley Deming is now prouder than ever
OF that dog. The last achievement Of the
canine was to tear off a musouito netting
feloniously enter a chamber through the
window, and disturb the wcll.earned repose
of the chief.ustice of the territory Of Ia.
kota.
The district court was in session in Swan
Lake, three days last week. The business
transacted was insignifcant-one man tried
convicted, fined for assault and battery. an.
other indicted for maintaining a nuisance
a motion or SO argued in civil cases c~onstitu,
ted the sum total.
Croquet has lost the place it once held in
Swan Lake, as a system of moral ~instruc.
ton. The admirable code of rules which
we published some weeks siuce are fragrant.
ly disregarded. The extraordinary priv.
lege of playing bare-footed which was ex
tended to Billy Aurner excited discussion.
and envy among the girls and they now
cheat whenever they get a chance.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1877-07-23
CALAMITY JANE.
The Adventures of n Remarkable From
tier Character.


The return of the we'll known frontiers
woman, Calamity Jane" to Cheyenne,
which took place yesterday, was one of the
few events Of a dull, sultry July day. She
is known by all the old settlers from Texas
to the Black Hills and from the Missouri to
the Pacific slope, And yet how few in the
Rocky Mountain region know her real
history In conversation last night a. the
Inter. Ocean with DR.. A. r. Hendricks, of
Des Moines, Iowa, the peculiarities Of the
west and some of the old characters to be
found here were discussed, and Calamity
James name was mentioned.
"Why," said DR.. Hendricks" | was ac-
quainted with her in Iowa, and knew her
people well. Before | came west ] learned
that she had acquired the sobriQuet by which
she is now known" The San reporter
asked him to relate what he knew of her
early history, with which request the Doc
tor complied and is in substance as fol-
lows.
Calamity Jane. whose real name is Jane
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1877-07-23

Coombs, was born at Burlington, Iowa, in
1877. and is therefore o about thirty
years of age. She is the youngest of a
family of four children, two boys and two
girls. The father, B. W. Coombs, now
dead, was for many years pastor OF the First
Baptist church of Burlington. In 1862 she
fell desperately in love with a young man,
who was, with herself, a member of her
fathers church, and an engagement follow
ed. The father looked with favor upon the
proposed marriage, but the mother, alas,
had conceived a hearty dislike tor the
young man, and forbade him the house.
All efforts at reconciliation failed, and the
young couple, under cover of the darkness
OF a bitter winters night, fled from their
parental roofs and from the state of their
birth. The young man, whose name was
Washbnrne. took Miss Coombs to Gales
burg, Illinois, and there they were married.
Leaving his wife, a young girl not yet
sixteen, in that city, Washburne entered the
Sixth Illinois infantry as a private soldier
and finally rose by gradual promotion to a
cs,ptaincy. At the battle of Mill Springs,
Kentucky, with General Zollicofier's forces.
and in which that gallant confederate officer
fell, Washburne sealed his devotion with
his blood. AS soon as Mrs. Washburne, now
known as Calamity Jane, heard Of his death
she resolved to avenge it. Leaving Gales
burg about the beginning of 1868, she DON
ned male attire and entered the Union army
as a scout and spy, serving in that capacity
until the close of the war in 1865. A por-
ton of the time she carried a musket, and
was in three of the severest engagements,
finally marching with Tecumseh Sherman
to the sea and back again, and stacking her
musket within the shadow of the nations
capital. 1t vas not until after the war that
her sex was discovered.
In the army she passed by the name of
Frank Marden. AT the close of the war,
like Othello, her occupation was gone. She
drifted to Texas, and there attired in male
clothing hunted the wild horse with the
lasso, becoming quite an expert in that line.
Since going to the lone Lone Star state in
1866 she has travelled all over the states and
territories west of the Missouri river, and
her name is az well known to the frontiers
man az are those of Wild Bill, Texas Jack
or Buffalo Bill. She has hunted the red
man of the plains and the buffalo served
as a guide to inexperienced miners and trap
pers and dresses in buckskin from top to toe
a great portion of her time She is one OF
the best horseback riders in the west, plays
a good game of cards or billiards, and is at
all times competent to get away with her
allowance of spiritual %sustenance. Alto
gether she is a remarkable subject for the
basis of a novel in the hands of Ned Bunt-
line, DIR. Beadle or Sylvanus Cobb.-Chey-
enRe Sun.
Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1877-07-23
N%EIGHBORHooD NEWS.
Springfield Times. 10Th,

81 aNNHNA AVN''
Union prayer meetings are now held in
this village. The first one was held last
evening, and was well attended.
Cass Conger, of Choteau creek, lost one
Of his children this week. We are not in
formed as to the cause Of its death.
There is whispering in the air Of a case
of scan. mag. at the quiet little burg Of Bon
Homme, which involves the good name of
parties little suspected of "perverse crook
edness."
Twenty-Five hundred head of cattle ar
rived at Niobrara this week for Hedges,
1900 head Of which have been crossed to
the Dakota side of the Missouri, to be used
in filling his contract at the different Indian
agencies, the balance going to Cheyenne
agency.
Wheat harvest will in this
county next week. The crop will be excel
lent, having received no injury whatever.
Barley is all, or nearly all, harvested, and
is an excellent crop. Oats are also being
cut and will yield from forty to sixty bush
els per acre. A more abundant harvest in
I'll the different products of the soil has new
er before been witnessed in this county.
The Times has now o bona fde circulation
Of nearly four hundred subscribers, and our
subscription list is constantly and steadily
increasing. During the lex few months
we shall materially enlarge and improve our
paper, besides adding to our office material
anew job press and a large amount Of Job
letter, 80 that we shall be prepared to do all
kinds of job printing on short notice and at
rates that will make it an object to those
desiring job work 10 give. us their patron
age.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1877-10-04
MEETING OF THE SCHOOL
DIST. OFFICERS.

All School District officers in the County are
earnestly requested to meet at the Grant School
House in Bristol, near Bristol Station on Sat
ur1ay, Oct 20, 1877, ut 10 80 A NJ, for the pur-
pose Of organizing or recognizing the
DISTRICT GFFIOERs' ASSOCIATION"
The following topics will be considered:
Dist Clerks Reports, 1,,e roi+ ofp p
Dist Treasurers Reports, ny = e'''i'' y -
TO be followed by General discussion.
Free Text Books.-G General Discussion.
Teachers Qualifications by the County Supt.
Followed by General Discussion.
Business connected with the organization Of
the Association, and the election Of officers
MISCELLANEOUS BUSINESS.
1t is anticipated that this meeting viii be Of
great interest and Importance to officers and all
others who have personal interest in our dis
trct schools, and full attendance is urged
STEPHEN GAIT,
For Executive Committee"
Dist. Clerks receiving this notice will please
notify the other officers. HOSEA BARNS,
County Supt.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1877-10-04

Ar. D. a. Mahoney has engaged to
teach the Liberty school iii Salem.
i. wv. Mumson win take charge ofthe
Brass Ball School, Dist. No. 3, Salem.
James Pennefeather viii teach the
Slade school in Wheatland
We believe the Rhodes Dist. in Som
ers, is to purchase school books under
the new textbook law.
Prof. Robert Graham was in Keno
sha, and was warmly greeted by many
friends on the last day Of the County
Fair.
Miss Lizzie Fl. Patterson Of Brigh-
ton,for some years teacher in Chicago,
has resigned and is now at home.
Prof B. L. Dodge, formerly CO.
Supt. of Kenosha Co, is now principal
Of tho High School al OAK Pork, near
Chicago.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1877-10-04

Prof I'll. 0. Durkee is principal Of
the schools in La Crosse, Wis.
The teachers library in the County
Supts. Office contains many excellent
works just such as teachers ought to
read. 1t is open every Saturday, and
free to all teachers Of the city and
county.
Ex-Co. 8upt. Flett made flying
visit to Kenosha last week,
Mr.. Carpenter who has been teach
ing the Pikevillo school for a year
past has been ro-engaged for the pre-
sent term.
Miss L. Murphy retains her old
place in Paris.
Fred G. Gull is engaged for the
Brainerd Dist. in Wheatland.
VIM. v. Gull il. will teach the Pat
terson school, Wheatland.
The Go. Supt. has begun has regular
school visitation8.
Mr.. Stephen Gait, Clerk Of Dist. ii.
and Town Clerk of Pleasant Prairie
has been very sick, but is now SO far
recovered as to be able to attend to
business.
NOTICE is hereby given to all Town
Clerks Of the comfy that their reports
have been received by the Co. Supt.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1877-10-04
PETER DOYLE,
Secretary Of State
STATE OF WISCONSIN, I !.
COUNTY OF kEEOSHA. 81

I, Hugh McDermott, Sheriff Of said County OF
Ken0sha, do hereby certify that the above is q
true copy Of an0tice for a General Election serv-
ed upon me by the Secretary OF State OF the
State Of Wisconsin, and now on file in my Office
pursuant to said notice and the statutes in rela-
tion to elections
Notice is hereby given chat a State Senator for
the Eighth Senatorial District comprising the
counties OF Ken0sha and WalW0rth, in the place
Of Asahel Farr, whose term Of Office will expire
on the first Monday III January 1877.
A Member Of the Assembly for the Assembly
District comprising the county Of Kanosha in
the place OF Walter s. Maxwell, whose term Of
Office will expire on the first Monday in January,
1877.
A County Superintendent Of Schools for the
County Of Ken0Sha, til the place of HOSEA
BARNS, whose term OF Office will expire on the
first Monday in January, 1877.
Notice is hereby gwen that in accordance with
the above notice ali election viii he held I'D TIC
several towns wards and election precincts Of
the County oil KenOsAa, on the first Tuesday
succeeding the first Monday, being the Sixth Gay
Of November next, Tor the purposes therein set
forth. HUGH McDERMOTT,
Sheriff hen0SIa Co, Wis,
Dated Sherif's oaice,
August Is, 1877.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1877-10-04
WHY TEACHERS ARE O6ANGED.

Wy II LubOlIG9o AG5I O0ANUIO.
At nearly every teachers institute
and quite generally at teachers meet
ings, especially meetings Of the State
Teachers Association, some one who
feels himself abused, or who wishes to
make d speech for the sake Of popu-
larity rather than for the good he can
do, INDUCES in TRADE against school
boards for the habit they have Of
changing teachers frequently.
1t seems never to occur to such
would-be benefactors Of the human
race, that people as o rule do not throw
away a thing so long as it appears to
them to be useful; that men do not
often Withdraw their capital from an
investment so long as the returns
from such Investment are profitable.
1T seems never to occUr to them that
many teachers fromindolence, indiffer-
ence, lack of qualifications or ability to
govern or teach are unworthy of reten-
ton, and that teachers are not I'M
frequently changed for some other mo-
tive chan that Of saving a few dollars
and cents.
Sometimes school boards make sad
mistakes; but in general, a teacher
who is reasonable i'm his demands is
retained in q school as long as he
ought to be- Teachers ought to know
this fact, and it ought to be of value to
them. BUTT is not always to be con-
sidered a disgrace to a teacher il the
school board invites him to step out
and some one else to stepin. All good
teachers, all strong, thorough, active
teachers have their peculiar character
i5tics; and when one Of these has oc-
cupied position SO long that his pu
pills have become tinged as it we're
with these pecuIiarities, it becomes al
most q necessity that o change bel
made. Variety in teaching is a good
thing, and variety in teachers is not
altogether bad. The principle involy-
ed is recognized by some Of the relig-
ious societies; and ministers are fire.
Quently changed without thought Of
discredit tO them
We imagine teachers will be doing
something savoring of much better
Judgment than finding fault with
school boards because they are not.
retained The second OF third term, if
they but diligently fit themselves for
the work they undertake to do, and
make themselves worthy of their hire.
And we imagine too, that those who
do thus 1T themselves and then engage
earnestly and conscientiously in the
discharge Of their duties, will have lit
tie reason to complain Of the instabil
ity of their positions. They will be
likely to be retained at reasonable sal
aries until their own good Judgment
tells them it is better to go elsewhere.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1877-10-04

Inc people Of The State Of Hi8con8tn, represented
IN Senate and assembly. DO enact as foIlo2Us:
SECTION 1. The foregoing proposed amendment
10 tue constitution ~ this af8ie shall be submit
led 10 the people at general election 10 be held
on enee Day succeeding the first onday of Ne
vent ef' Iot s and 1.-THE people shall approve and
fatny the sald amendment by majority Of the
electors Y9elug thereon, said Smeudmebt shall
become paTt Of the constitution Of this state
SECTION z. fne form Of the ballot in voting to
approve ana Tatify said amendment shall be '1for
the amendment" an0 the form Of ballot against
sald amendment saall be "again-E the amend
ments WQlCh shall be on separate ballot, and
said ballots an said amendment shall be Cast In o
separate box 10 be provided for chat purpose. ana
all persons qualified 10 vote at any election in
this state nail re deemed voters on this question
SECTION .. ne votes cast for or against said
am6n1m5nJ shall he counted and returned bv the
inspectors III me election in ali respects as votes
for state c5ac9rs are c0nnted and returned, ana
the officers il counties now Designated by law 10
canvass lie returns Of votes for state officers shah
canvass the FefUrna in Their respective counties
on this question and certify aud return tha re-
suit 10 the state c9Ev&ssers a tbe same time and
places anG under he same regulations and re-
strCtR0us noN provided by law for canYasSinp
ard declaring he retG'n Tor elections Of state
officers, and the state canvassers shall canvass
sala returns Cernned TO thrm provided by law
IN case Of elections for sfate officers,
SECTION &. Within three days af er the deter-
minadOn OF said canvass by the atHte canY8Saers.
they sha!l certify the reaulI hereof TO he gaver.
NOR, VINO snail theTenp0a without delGy make
proclamation OF the result
SECTOR B. The secretary OF state is hereby re-
CURED to Include the substance Of this act in the
notice of Inc general election for the year 1877.
SECTION .. This ACT shall tako effect and be in
force from and after itg passage and publication.
Given under my hama and Official seal, at the
capitol, in Madison This 1st day Of august, 1877
PETER DOYLE,
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1877-10-04

TIE NOMINATIONS. - We daubt If
ANY nominations ever made ii This
State were better received than those
made at Madison, week before last
Even our political opponents eoncpde
that the selections are good ones and
reflect credit upon the party maxine
them. The Republicans are perfectly
satisfied, because they have q ticket
composed Of well-knoWn citizens. we'll
QUALIFIED for theseYeral positions-nlen
'of integrity and ability, who will hon
estly and faithfully DISCHARGE their dlI-
ties and men against whom not \
word OF disparagement can be uttered
we are confident that the entire tickeg
VIII beechosen by Q large majority. even
connecting that the Democrats brine
out their best men (Which thev #rsn'f
90, however,. Chippewa Herald.