The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1877-11-15
Fun and Sentiment.

Win hatcnet, ana 1t scared her to
DEATH"
WHERE one woman scans the horizon
for signs of the dawn of brighter era.
ten are scouting among their neighbors
trying to borrow saleratus.
A PHILADELPHIA dancing master is
about introducing new dance expressly
for fat people. All the performers have
to do is to sit on the floor and kick.
81 SHOULD have no objections to nv
wife's reigning," said an affectionate hus-
band, 'if it were not for the fact that
when she reigns she is apt to storm also"
In Cincinnati, almost every portion of
the hog is put to some valuable use. A
distinguished philosopher of that city is
now trying some method of turning the
sequel to some account.
"MAMMA," asked a precious youngster
at tea-table the other evening, after
long and yearning gaze toward plate of
doughnuts, "do you think could stand
another of those fried holesS"
"HOw is it that you have never kindled
a flame in any mans hearth" asked rich
lady of her pOrtionless niece. ~ suppose,
aunt, it is because I'm not good MATCH"
meekly replied the poor niece.
Two men in New York were overheard
discussing the strike. Said one "But
don't the Bible say, Strike till the last
armed foe expires2'" "That's fact"
said the other; II didn't think of that"
SIR BOYLE ROCHE thus accounted for
the prosperity of the Dublin fishmongers:
They "went down to Rngsend when the
boat came in, bought the fish for half
nothing, and sold them for twice as
much"
AT THE ART GALLERY.-Lady with
catalogue)-"No.5 SO, Eve Tempted"
Gentleman (desirous to know the paint
er's name)-"Who byW Lady Shocked
at his ignorance)-"Why, by the devil, of
course"
"DADDY, want to ask you a ques-
ton" "Well, my son." "Why is
neighbor Smiths liquor shop like
counterfeit dollar9' 81 can't tell,
my son." Because you can't pass it,"
said the boy.
"NEvER do anything you would not
like to see others do" remarks the New
YIN ACTutu we'll, INV, tual . tuC "OiSe
yet. If we wanted to marry girl, for
instance, we wouldn't like to see some
other fellow marry her.--Oa City Call.
LITTLE Emma, from Washington, was
sent on visit to her cousin, who was an
officer at Fort Monroe. She became
homesick at last, and said, "Cousin
A, please put postage-stamp on my
forehead, and send me home in the cars"
A ROMAN who recently returned from
Philadelphia, informs Us that Kelley
motor consists of pound of boarding
house butter shut mp in an iron box.
This statement will do much to restore
confidence in the power of the motor
Rome Sentinel.
AN excellent man up town who re-
buked youthful friend for devoting too
much of his life to horses, was so over
come when the other replied that life
was but span that he was obliged to go
home and lie down and take little rhu-
barb out of a decanter.
Mrs. JUaGINs lost one of her dodgers
lately. He went off suddenly, on urgent
private affairs, and forgot to settle his
uttlc hCCOuut. AL, soy . euS VIZ AsNy,
"when e come ere, e called ITSELF
capting; but I've discovered to my cost
that 'e's only left tenant"
A FATHER said Of his boy, who had
neglected his studies and become con-
spicuous as a "ladies" man-"he's got all
oirlsd up" The Springfield Republican
thinks this is remarkably happy and
pregnant phrase, as descriptive of the
vealy period of youth. We suppose it
wouldn't do to say of girls at similar
stage that they are all boyed up!
A BANGOR (Me.) man attended camp
meeting. and on his return was telling of
the good time he enjoyed. A serious
faced man asked, "Were there any con-
verts2" He stopped moment, and said:
"Well, forgot to ask. But the baked
beans were bully, and the sailing and row.
ing were divine, and there were some of
the handsomest girls there that l ever
saw"
"MAKE me a nice easy coat" said
noted pulpit orator of Chicago to his
tailor one day lately-"one that's loose
and roomy enough for me to stretch up
in and grow eloquent over, you know"
Eyes, l understand" said the tailor, with
a twinkle in his eye: "you want me to
make one gesture sizeG" "Thst's 1t, ex-
actly," exclaimed the divine, as he
laughed at the tailor's merry pun; zone
that can jest swing myself in"
s.r... xh;, ,voc,t do. vou muaf take