The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1877-03-08
Miscellaneous.


woodenleg.
What is it which, the more it is cut,
the longer it grows2 A ditch.
Eloping women are said to belong to
the hooking laddy company.
What does a captain do at sea when he
gets out of fresh eggs2 He lays to.
What is it that by losing an eye has
nothing but a nose left2 A noise.
What is it which, if you take away all
its letters, remains the same? post
man.
"canard" is because one canardly believe
it, you know.
Why is the Czarina Catherine like
bald-headed person1 Because her heir is
0rloff
To keep moths out of old clothing. it
is recommended to give the clothing to
the poor.
Smidgkins says: make your home
happy-even II you have to stay away
from it."
What did you get p she asked, as he
returned from two days deer hunt
"Got backP was the reply.
THAT point is not we'll taken" as the
country schoolmaster observed when he
sat down on pin.
A Wall Street man wants to know
what Is the difference between the day
rate OF gold and the nitrate OF silver.
To what length may the widow go
when she desires new parent for her
children2 She may 90 one step-iather
A Down East paper Gays there is a fog
bell in its town that is of no more use
than boiled carrot hung in bootleg
A youthful Granger, about to be chas
tised by his father, called for his grand.
father to protect him from the middle
man.
What is the difference between the
Prince of Wales and a jet of water2-One
is heir to the throne the other is thrown
to the air.
What is the difference between New
port and Saratoga2-In the one place you
go into the water; in the other the water
goes into you.
A child being asked what were the
three great feasts of the Jews. promptly
replied: Breakfast dinner, and sup
per.
A coroner's jury, in the case OF a man
who was killed by falling icicle, rem
dered the verdict that he died of hard
drink"
Why is O boy asking his father for
small change for marbles like a wife
seeking a divorce7 Because he wants
alley-money.
The Norristown Herald has ascertain
ed that blue glass; mashed up fine and
administered internally, will cure dog
-of sheep killing.
Blue Glass having cured rheumatism
many sufferers wonder whether il nigh
not have softening effect upon the
joints Of boarding house roast turkey.
A Western editor publishes a poem
which was written. he states, "by an es
teemed friend who has lain in the grave
many years merely for his own amuse
ment."
Two oysters in a gallon Of lukewaru
fluid at a church fair are no longer called
stews, but aquariums; and some people
think that there are too many fish to tn,
water.
An Illinois editor, having lost his scis
sors, writes: I'VE are called upon Il
mourn the loss OF one of the best anc
most trustworthy assistants the worlC
ever knew"
A rural editor, in describing the orato
rio of Esther" beautifully says: "Th,
swell died away in delicious sufiocation
like one singing a sweet song under tn,
bedclothes.'
Discussion between q wise child anC
its tutor.-"That star you see up there il
bigger than this world" NO, il isn't
"Yes, it is" Then why doesn't it keeI
the rain oIY
A Whitehall woman, who was told tC
heap hot Goals upon the head OF her enc
my, not having any Goals on hand squirt
ed lot of pepper sauce into the eyes o
her next door neighbor.
One of the old settlers at the Isles o
Shoals, seeing the name Of "Psyche" on
the hull Of yacht, the other day. spelled
il out slowly, and then exclaimed
"Well, if that amt the biggest way to
spell fish,"
A man innocently spoiled a sermon
and prayer by exclaimIng. while the tears
rolled down his cheeks, Lord, Thou
knowest have been an awful sinner
the chief among ten thousand and one