The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1877-10-25

the Atlantic of Captain Crapo and wife,
in whale-boat, a cynic says that the
most wonderful thing about it was that
man and wife should not have fallen
out.
ROCHESTER Democrat: "Make the face
the mirror of the SOU" }" says DIR. Hol-
land. 1t is very unwise advice. If it
were followed there would be SO many
dreadful countenances that all the horses
would get frightened and run away.
AN attempt was made in the British
Wesleyan conference last month to abro.
gate the rule which prohibits ministers
of that denomination from using tobacco
in any form. The majority for main
tanning the rule was, however, very
small.
"MY dear boy" said a mother to her
son as she handed round his plate for
more turkey, "this is the fourth time
you've been helped" "Iknow, mother" !"
replied the boy, but that turkey pecked
at me once, and l want to get square
with him." He got his turkey.
WORCESTER Mass Spy: Farewell,
Mary, my dear, you have driven me to
the grave" wrote Wareham Narrows
man three years ago, and left the note
inside of his hat on the banks of the
Waukinco. He was arrested the other
day in Boston, living with another
women.
"WHY don't you wheel the barrow
of coal along more lively, Ned?" asked a
coal dealer of his hired man. "Its not
very hard job; there is an inclined
plane to relieve YOU" cay, master"
auoth the man, who had more relish for
wit than work, the plane may be in
clined, but am not"
GUIzoT said about Thiers: "He can
foresee from the distance, but when near
at hand, nobody is so addicted to in
fatuation or prejudice. He is only a
political guesser." On the other hand,
Thiers said about Guizot: He is an
orator, debater, philosopher; but,
in politics-don't be surprised-he is an
ass"
ALEARNED sergeant was once accused
of having disgraced the bar by taking
silver from client, the etiquette OF the
profession requiring that his fee should
be in gold. 81 took silver" he replied,
"because l could not get gold; but l
took every farthing the fellow had in the
world. l hope you do not call that dis
gracing the profession"
ROBERT BURDETTE, the funny man "
of the Burlington HaDk-Eye, thus
"drops into poetry" over the grievances
of the season:
"Down dropped the pipe, the elbow fell,
| The good wife scolded free. -
And midst the Joints they wrought spell
That raised old Cain with me.
bounded them in pried them out,
| But hear. old man and brother,
Both ends of every joint OF pipe
Where bigger than the other.
Oh never again while life may last
Well be found so green.
| However may howl the wintery blast,
To fool with stove, ween."
DURING a debate which took place
some time ago in Scottish town council
on a question where much diversity oi
opinion prevailed, bailie, among othel
reasons in support of the measure, stated
that it would be of immense benefit tt
posterity. On hearing this, the provost
who headed the opposition, got up ant
said, "Fm really surprised to hear on!
man bring forward sic an argument
What reason hae we to sacrifice oursel
for the guide O posterity? Point oot,
he continued, striking the table, ant
looking triumphantly at his opponent
"point oot ae single instance whau
posterity has ever been O. the least ben
eft to U.S."