The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1877-08-08
Items OF Interest.


Gold is an eighth of cent lower.
Now is the time to get your teeth filled.
Jenny Lind says that her husband is
her truest friend. Every woman's ought
to be. ... ......
The empress of Austria is said to be
tile most beautiful royal lady in the
world. -,
Ferik Aid now commands the Turkish
arfiiy. That is, lie tells the boys when
to retreat. .s.-. . ..... ..,
"The Turks" says an exchange, care
amply supplied with arms" eyes, and
With legs, too. n. *
A woman In Baltimore has been fined
$1OO and costs for sending scurrilous
postal cards to ladies. IS. .-........ ...
In the United States about three-ffths
of the cereal production is Indian corn,
while in Europe oats predominate. ...
care these soaps all one scent?" in
quired O lady of juvenile salesman.
"No, ma'am, they are all ten cents, re-
piled the innocent youngster.
The fashionable male shirt collar is
gradually decreasing in height. A young
man can now pass under telegraph
wire without ducking his head.
A man who had practiced twelve years
with revolver, and who could drive q
nail at sixty feet with o bullet, was killed
by club in the hands of an Arkansas
man who couldn't shoot barn. ....
We suppose that when the entire Rus
sian army went marching over the pom
toon bridges it didn't make one-hah the
Gathering that ten-year-old boy does
when he walks down one fight of stairs. :
A little girl, where minister had been
invited to dinner, was privately placed
on her good behavior. Finding luu
in the conversation at the table, she
folded her hands and said: ooh, God,
please pass the butter"
When a small boy with prejudice
against yellow dogs observes an old
oyster can in condition OF inactivity he
at once begins debating the question
whether it was created to point moral
or adorn tail. The dog gets the first
news of the decision. ...
Just because Western hucksters stick
their thumbs into the measures on cell
ing berries and then withdraw and retain
those portions of their anatomy, the Chi
cago Journal asks in towering rage:
"Shall we, as American citizens, pay
for thumbs by the pint and quart and
not get them? ....
A child charmed by black snake in
Jefferson county, Tenn, fed the snake
daily for over a week. The father dis
covered the snake coiled up in the child's
lap and killed it, whereupon the little
one went into spasms of grief and refused
to eat food of any kind. She cries almost
continually, except while asleep. and
physicians state that she will live but
short time.
There are hearts that beat quicker
when the strawberry season comes; there
are spirits that brighten when the rasp-
berry puts in his gentle claim; there are
souls that gladden. when the pineapple
slices himself up; there are eyes that
glisten with joy when the watermelon
moves in; but the average small boys
delight dosen't reach its climax until 1t
has tackled q fresh tomato.
A rheumatic old gentleman, whose son
was careless about shutting the front
door after him, called out to him one
cold day, when he had left the door
swinging wide: " See here, young man,
YOU leave that door open too much ]!
"Do II" was the response. "Then how
much open shall I leave it ?" 81 mean
YOU leave it open too often !" Numbered
the old gentleman. ooh, well, how Of
ten shall I leave it open ?" politely In
auired the son. The father did not dare
trust himself to reply.
Here is classification of kisses In
rhymes:
"There is formal kiss Of fashion;
And burning kiss Of passion;
4 fathers kiss,
And q sisters kiss to move.
There's traitors kiss for gold,
Like serpent's clammy fold.
A first kiss,
A stolen kiss,
And the thrilling kiss Of love.
A meeting kiss,
A maiden kiss,
A kiss when fond hearts sever.
But the saddest kiss
On earth is this
A kiss to part for ever!"