The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1877-12-27
How Engaged People Ought to Act

discussed, whether the freedom which
is allowed American girls is better or
worse in it's effects than the restrictions
which custom puts about the Ealdens
of some parts of Europe. Are our
Young women less attractive than those |
of France, for instance? Are they more |
apt to fall into the ways which do not |
become ladyhood? Does the liberty |
they enjoy lead them into the snares of
the devil? Are they bold, forward,
lacking in feminine delicacy, and with |
out that gentle charm which so delights
man in woman?
We find, on the contrary, that our
well bred girls are singularly attractive,
that the freedom they enjoy does not
detract from their feminine modesty,
and that it rather teaches them to main
tain their dignity and reserve under Cir
cumstances and in situations which
would forever compromise a French
maiden, and might actually break down
the barriers to her purity. They need
no other panoply than their own inno-
cence.
These thoughts, among others, are
suggested by letter we have received,
asking our advice as to the proper con- 4
duct Of lovers during their engagement. \
| This is very important and delicate
question, and, as our correspondent OBJ
serves, doubtless many young people
who have pledged their hearts to each
other will thank us for treating it. This
is the letter: Eftc q
| SIR: NV sister is receiving the attentions
of young man who manifests great deal
of devotion and love for her, which think
she returns. They study the articles per-
appear in the Sun, and have in many ways
profited by the advice given. Therefore,
for their edification, l submit to your judg-
ment the following:
First-Is it proper for young coupl in
| love to seclude themselves in the parlor, and
| thereby prevent otherpeople from using that.
room while they occupy it?
Secondly-Is it proper for the young man
to close the blinds before entering the house
when he calls to see the young lady?
Thirdly-fs it proper for the inmates OF
the house to knock ON the parlor door and
wait outside moment or two before enter
ing when the lovers are in the room?
hold that the German system of court
ship, in which the young man calls and
spends the evening with the entire family, is
the proper one to follow, and that the Amer
lean plan of " close communion" should be
avoided. Is my idea correct? Is long
courtship better than short, sharp, and de-
cisive one?
By throwing little sunlight on the above
you will undoubtedly confer real favor on
the young lovers and oblige an OLD ONE.
In the first place, it may as well be
understood by every body that engaged
persons can not be expected to con-
tribute much, if any thing, to the gen.
eral pleasure .of the people among
whom they dwell. They are engrossed
!. in each other, and, as a rule, they pre-
fer to exchange views between them
selves, and not with the rest of the
household They have much to say
which they know is of little interest to
the people about them, though of the
very highest interest to themselves. Per-
. haps they desire to discuss the arrange
ment of their future home. Perhaps
they are anxious to get each others
opinions on favorite authors. 1t may be
that there are phases of love which they
have not gone over in previous conver-
sations. Possibly they wish to get new
assurances of one another's undivided
affection. Indeed, there are many SUBJ
jects engaged people are satisfied they
ought to be suffered to examine apart
from society. However, they should not
be so selfish as to occupy the parlor to
the exclusion of every body else. They
, should remember that though the family
is iswilling to give up some comforts out OF
regard to their exceptional condition, it
can not be expected that they should be
made utterly miserable on their account.
, If the lovers are engaged in the inter-
J change Of their ideas in the parlor, and
somebody else comes in, unless that per-
, son is ready to leave, they should pro-
ceed to act like other people, and not
, conduct themselves as If it was an out
f rage to enter the room where they are.
After decent delay, if they wish to con.
: tinue their conversation, they might
l gracefully retire and take walk, and
K then keep up their sentimental talk
: That is an easy thing to do.
Q We say decidedly that it is not proper
! for the young man to close the blind:
S before he enters the house to call on the
e young lady. It is the business of the
: family to close or open their own blinds
e and no one else is privileged, not ever
), an accepted lover, to touch them from
1 outside. If the young lady, when he ha
+ been ushered into the parlor, suggest
n to him that the open blinds annoy her
L it is the part of politeness for him t.
Y rush with alaerity to gratffy her. Other
|, wise he would better leave the blind
It alone.
: As to whether the inmatesof the hous
: should knock on the parlor door and wal
d outside moment or two before entering
Y when the lovers are in the room, there j
So, rrlax, ot f.,rl
/ not be expected to do it. If they do il