The Portland daily press., 1877-03-09
From Ofenbach's Book on America.l
An Awful Orchestra which Offenbach
Encountered on the Road to Chicago,

Besides the many concerts I had agreed to
conduct there was promise to Mile. Aimee
for some of her performances in America.
Faithful to my pledge took the orchestra
leaders bow in the theatre where she was sing
Jug in New YORK, aud 1 believed had fulfilled
my promise, Bat when 1 got through the
Philadelphia concerts she told me she was off
iof Chicago, and begged me to play conductor
once more for her at don't name the city,
but it was on the route to Chicago whittier In
tended going and 1 consented. got there one
morning, and the evening bill was ''La Jolie
Parfumeuse." went to the theatre for re-
hearsal, took my desk, bravely lifted my bow
and they began. knew the piece by heart,
and what was my surprise to hear instead of
the familiar strains some strange medley that
had scarcely an air of acquaintance with my
operetta. Finally made out the motifs, but
the orchestraton was entirely new. Ons of the
patives had thought fit to rewrite it. My first
impulse was to leave the rehearsal and throw
up the engagement. But Mdlle, Aimee i'm
plored me not, telling me that was "billed,'
that the public would be angry if did not ap
pear, that the performance would be imposs-
BILE, and SO gave in. L took up my baton and
started again. What an orchestra that was
Little, but very bad. OF twenty. five musicians
perhaps eight were very good, six fair, and the
rest wretched. To be ready for any mishap
begged a second violin to take drum and L
would give him some instructions in an under
tone. Much good it did. There was no big
drum in the orchestra, let alone in the orches-
tration. That was so pitiable q rehearsal that
L renewed my attempts to get away. Useless.
l had to stay and see my work-executed.
''Tn do it" 1 said, come what may. God
have mercy on my soulp'
oh, what performance that was. Only one
who heard 1t might describe it. My two clari-
nets went "quack! quackp' straight through
always excepting where they should have done
| so. In the "Blind Mems March of the first
| act had put in some false notes for the anus
| ing effect. But my two clarinets stopped dead
and counted time. The genius who rewrote my
music wrote this bit for the quartet only. Now,
at the rehearsal, had begged the clarinetists to
| play something, no matter what, in these inter-
| spaces, knowing as did that the false notes
| would come naturally. But L reckoned with
/ out my host for the rufians would not 60 out
| of their text.
There is nothing written was what they
| said "But gentlemen" said 1, ''the 'quack-
| ing you do when there are no rests isn't writ
| ten either and yet you put your whole heart
| into it." Nay, 1t was impossible to argue them
/ down. So much for the clarinets. AS for the
| hautboyman, he was an improviser who PLAYED
| now and then when he felt like it, The flute
/ SQ0rt6Q Wueu Su0 Couiu. Ine OdSsOOQ was
| asleep half the time. The violoncello and the
| contrebasso, placed behind me, went out OF
| bounds and furnished an Legitimate bass AS
l marked time with my right hand, hit first
the contre-bassos bow, then the violoncellist's
L sowed false notes broadcast. The first violin
an excellent one-wes altogether too hot and
brought the temperature of the hall up to 400
| (Centigrade). Coufound him, he was always
| mopping his forehead.
MY friend,'' said 1, in stified voice, IF
L r. Lost
| He land down his handkerchief resgnedly
| and took up his fiddle But the tide OF caco-
/ phony rose ambrose. A thousand false notes
l happily the first act was ending
BY Jupiter it was success-a success Den
1 thouSidSRle!
| / thought | was dreaming. But all was
| nothing compared TO the second act Yous ee
| | bad always in my mind my orchestratiop
| aud / turned to the lett to the little flute
| which, according to my text, should play lit
| Tie re1ltFee Not much-tbe drum was in there
| and 1t answered me! My two clarinets mighty
quaczers, had to play, according to my version,
an ar ia thirds. The other fellow had handed
over the air for the tiddles 10 the cornet--pis-
ton, who played false, aud To the bassoon who
was asleep all the time. Painfully we strug-
gled 10 the close, in a sweat, saying TO myself
We sbonlj never ge, through. The quo De-
tween Rose and BayOlet went every which
way, but u went on. The finale takes in the