Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-11-21
Hunnor.

HumOr.
Bay windows are safe harbors at night
for little smacks.
" You don't get any money out ofme,"
said he, as the man presented his bill.
Pm savings bank-thats what T
am" And the creditor went disconso-
lately away.
An exchange wants to know how the
Turks happened to learn to fight SO
we'll. Whereupon another exchange
exclaims; Why, man, most of the
Turkish officers have over half dozen
wives.
Base is the slave that pays" Our
creditors are asked to observe the poetic
beauty of the forgotten line Shakespeare
was no slouch.-New York Sun.
Oil has been struck" on the parish
lot Of a Pennsylvania church in Penn
sylvania, and it is now" drawing" So, 900
a year from that source toward current
expenses. A good many other churches
have bored without strike.
Sitting Bull says he will come across
the line to wallop the Americans some
day. If the old red-skin tries this, he
will find that ne has come home to
die"
1t is this lying awake nights trying to
determine whether to leave your fortune
to an orphan asylum or home for old
men that makes thenewspaper business
so Westinghouse Sentinel.
A letter has arrived at the post Office
of independence, Iowa, directed: "To
the handsomest girl in the city" The
Bulletin says that as the postmaster does
not desire to be run through threshing
machine, he has turned it over to his
administrator
Suppose that girl with her heart in be, clothes,
And her bonnet showed down on the bridge OF her
Should go for your person and pocket for life.
10 be =: q useless, expensive, and cumbersome
Guess wouldnt-would you
-Redding Dispatch.
When you see a woman standing on Il
kitchen chair, looking up at ragged
hole in the plastering, while she holds a
hammer in her right hand and her left
thumb in her mouth, there is nc chance
for candid opinion about the nail
orks.-Hawkeye.
When a girl comes suddenly across a
man In her rural ram blings she bushes,
droops and is as quiet as q mouse; but
when she runs across a stray Autumn
leaf she gushes, swoops and bellows like
moose Now, why this difference? Is
man SO much less than leaf?
Harper's Drawer: Children who have
been the pets of the house are almost
invariably afflicted with jealousy at the
advent of new baby A lady asked
little boy under these circumstances how
he liked his little sister, ~ don't think
she agrees with me" he replied. "Why
don't she agree with YOU % "I don't.
know" he said, .b,.t [ couldn't bear to.
see mother kiss her.
You have often," said the clergy
man, heard the brethren say Amen e
Amen While some one was PRAYING.
What did they mean? If any one
knows, let him hold up his hand. y
Up jumped a little fellow, SO eager to
answer as not to wait for recognition,
+" / know p he called out. ct means
hurry up and get through. There was
an audible smile, and many of the
elders, we have no doubt, felt tina t:
the definition swould be very useful
if it could be generally accepted, and
Amen" used to shorten long pray
ers.- Youths Companion
Two boys sat on the grass on Ledyard
street yesterday and played cards A
citizen who knows that card-playing
leads into the broad road of wickedness
halted and said to one of the players:
"Ah ! my boy, don't you know that
you are in a fair way to be ruined %
I am, eh p replied the youngster as
he held up his hand of cards and
showed four trumps and an ace; '1you
just hold on here a minute, and if I
don't show you that the other boy is all
wrenched to pieces and ruined to death
I'll eat the jack of spades and cut my
throat with the jack of clubs p He was
taking every trick" as the citizen
passed on-Detroh Free Press.