Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1877-03-20
NO. 6s.
MistfllamsoMs.
For the Journal
THE PARABLE OF THE HORN.


1901 t.aA
Not great while ago there was good Prince,
who, desirous of promoting the welfare of his peo-
pie by comforting upon them the benefits of good
government, travelled in far countries to learn
their institution and laws. After Drawing the dan
gers of the ocean, and enduring with patience the
privaions Of long voyage, be landed safely in the
metropolis of land well known TO the rest Of the
world as Ultima Thule. Once within the limits
of this hospitable country, every attention was
shown him, his wants anticipated, and he was i'm
mediateIy conducted by the high officers of state
to the palace Of the Chief Ruler. All the courte-
sizes were there extended him due his alted rank;
and the next morning after his arrival he taken
by the Chief Ruler in person-himsef man of
war and mighty captsin-to see the beauties, dec
orations and grandeur of the Capitol. After view
ing the noble objects of regard thereabout "let
us go up" said the royal host ito the Grand OBJ
servatory and view for while the operations of
the Horn" Thereupon engaged in friendly con-
versation they stroled through the corridors, and
mounted the marble steps which led them to the
Grand Observatory. A magnificent scenery lay
around and beneath them. The Prince was de-
lighted and gazed in silent admiration on its en-
chanting beauties. Numerous canals, radiatng
like silver threads to the diverse points of the DIS
tant horizon, bore upon their placid surfaces in
Vulnerable shallops, skiffs, canoes and gondolas
The fantastic and heterogeneous appearance Of
these wonderful craft a sight for the Prince to
behold. "The means of communication to the
most distant part OF your country" said be "are
well provided"
eyes," said the host, "each Of these canals run
to one of the thrty-eight provinces composing the
empire. The arches over each, which you see,
bear the inscription of the name of the province
to which they respectively lead. These skiffs, you
perceive, are well laden with people. They are
coming down from their respective localities to
make known their wants. The people of this
country are divided into two classes-those who
have an Office, and those who want an Office; and
the motto of all is, blessed are those without
a want. In order to determine whether their Pc
titons shall be granted, they all enter and pass
through the great crystal Horn, which you see
swinging there on pivot by the Grand Reservoir.
Accordingly as they pass out at one or the other
end Of the Horn, the little or big end, are they
classified. "Ths is one Of the most peculiar Of our
Institutions The method is an excellent one, and
the people are much attached to it," -
Indeed, | think it very peculiar" said the
Prince, and pointing with his staff he continues:
What fleet of skiifs is that we see there bearing
down so grandly. headed by the large shalop 7"
"By using this" said the host passing him an
opera-glass, "you will be able to read perhaps
some inscriptions indicative of their purpose"
Putting the glass to his eyes the Prince gazed
attentivey some time. AT last said he: There
sits at the helm of the large sholop an old man
with his hand upon the tiller. She floats gallant
flag bearing the insignia, in large golden letters,
Reform" Along her gunwale, however, |, see
in small and quite dim letters
"Cheat your neighbor if you can; 'tra9A
Hell do the same by you; Gaferi
If you, want to get through this world,
Paddle your own canoe" +f
"By this sign we conquer usr1
They sail the canal over which is the arch in.
scribeG Eny.'
"Oh, yes" said the host with slightly con-
temptuous smile. II know 'em. They are O
pretty loud set. Tomorrow they'll pass through
the Horn, and have great curiosity to see them
do it. Let us go now. Tomorrow, if you like,
we'll return and witness the operation" There
upon the Prince and His Serene Hghness of Ul-
TINA Thule descended from the Grand Observa-
tory and proceeded to the palace.
That evening the Prince with many invited
guests were entertained at great supper. After
the ordinary visitors had departed the Princes
time was beguiled late into the night by the re.
cital OF beautiful story called the Buldozers
He thought it one Of the most interesting stories
he ever read. E tUT H#e
The next morning opened bright and beautiful
The Prince with the host went early to the Grand
Observatory. Hardly were they at their posts
when the host casting his eye over the scene, said
"This is to be great day at the Horn. You see the
Canoes all loaded, gliding in under the arches of
every canal, preparatory to entering the Horn
which they do from the platform through an
ample aperture in its side near the pivot. 1t is
said if they find it impossible to come out of the
flgnt END, that tney intend TO combine their
strength and split the thing" Iui .Ha3F
"Can they do that 7! asked the Prince.
''No," said the host ''that's been tried before
by better and bigger crowd" du ~
Scarcely had the last words been uttered when
there was a Simultaneous movement in the whole
thropg, as the old man, whom they had seen yes
terday in the shallop on the Eny canal, shouted
keep your eyes peeled and no foolishness" At
the same time he stepped into the Horn but turn
ing his head slightly to the left to beckon his fol-
l.. L..l..
ly to the right, the equilibrium was destroyed,
that endlof the Horn Immediately turned
down, into it shot the old man and after
him confusedy all the rest-all together
were ahmed into the little end Of the
Horn; and the big end swung high in the air.
The old man spread out and braced himself, de-
termined not to be forced through the small aper-
ture at that end. Then ensued among those above,
unparalleled struggles and the greatest confusion.
Such shouting Many of the words could be
distinctly heard in the Observatory, "Cronin,"
"Pelton," "Oregon," "SS 000" and other disjont-
ed members Of unknown sentences. l. i'agg
what said the Prince, "are they trying to
do ?'-"They are trying" and the happest OF
smiles suhused his face. ''they are irving by some
means or other to come out Of the big end Of the
Horn"
Can they do that now :" asked the Prince.
mo" was the answer, "Their struggles are in
vain their fate Is sealed in few minutes YOU
viii see the end --..s .rr -r-a-.l
of the old man, exhausted by the severe tension,
relaxed, and out he shot, the rest successfully af
ter him, out of the little end of the Horn. Two
only remained. These were the last Of the heap,
and being of about the same specific gravity they
were naturally impeled in to the aperture at the
same time. One was coming out head first, and
the other feet first when the feet of the former,
which were very large, and the nose ofthe latter.
which was very long, coming at the bite of the
aperture at the time, wedged and caught,
and the owners of these unfortunate members
hung suspended at the little end Of the Horn.
"Let me look at those victims OF bad luck with
the glass" said the host 81 may know them. Oh,
yes That one caught by the feet I've seen before
in the province of Emo; he spells his name,
think, with a Pulitzer. The other, doubt no,
from his description is fellow they call Cronin.
see how he keeps his hands on his pockets He
must have something valuable in them
The two magnates then descended from the OBJ.
servatory, and the Prince soon departed out of
Ultima Thule, very much impressed with the in