The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-10-06

Always spell horse nOarSe; and that in
spelling Congress you invariably begin
with large K. These things are not so
important, perhaps, while our proof
reader maintains condition of sobriety.
But when you speak of Herzegovina as a
species of Asiatic chicken, and allude to
its conflict with Turkey as if they were
two fowls fighting in barn-yard, you go
too far; you trespass upon the good ma
ture of our readers. You are mistaken
also in abiding to Egypt as the capital
OF Germany, in asserting that the Suez
Canal runs to Buffalo, and was built by
DE Witt Clinton. | want to pass that
editorial, to oblige you, but really I'm
afraid l can't"
" Well, I'm sorry"
=" Now take that article of yours about
Cuba: You speak of Cuba as being in
the Arctic regions, and you allude to the
natives as living chiefly ON walrus meat.
And you seem to think that the American
navy Is composed of scows that are pro.
PEELED by mules, and that a Nice-Admi-
rails duty is to keep his eyes on the mules
and manage the tow-line. They have no
tow-lines in the navy, Mr.. Hockey. 1t is
to sea; but when man undertakes to
supply marine intelligence for great
daily newspaper he ought to know that
quarter deck is not pack of cards
which costs quarter"
81 didn't say So"
You intimated as much, and tell
you it just drives the public wild. 1t
won't do. When you mention Disraeli
as the contemporary of Moses, and praise
William Cullen Bryant for the manner in
which he wrote the Acts of the Apostles,
you expose us to derision; and if I'd we
printed your article upon the passage of
the Rubicon by Calico just after his
election to the Presidency of the United
States, conveying the idea that the said
Rubicon was "A law to prevent negroes
from running off, this Office d been
mobbed before night"
1.-THE mischief it would"
"Yesl | knowl l have my finger on
the public pulse. They'll stand good
deal. They are patient and all that; but
when you come at them, for instance,
with an editorial assertion that Petrarch
was one of the Apostles, and that he
used to fish with layout line, in the
river Herodotus, they get delirious.
Heavens and earth, mani Herodotus was
not rivcrl he was historianl How
could you allude to Romeo as the resi-
dence of the Pope, and declare that the
Pontiff's principal cardinals are the
points of the compass?"
Blamed # l know"
"Well, anyway, you see for yourself
that you need gears of study before you
will be qualified to form public opinion.
No journalist can hope to guide the pop
ular mind who teaches that the prophet
Daniels last name was Boone, and that
he hunted crows and Indians out in Ken
lucky; no editor can leave his mark upon
his century who, when he reads in the
news items that the French army has
moved fifteen kilometres out of Paris,
writes an editorial asserting that the
army ought to have removed those in
fernal machines long ago instead of leav-
/ ing them there to blow up the city. Isay
no newspaper man who does these
things, and then sits down and asks Con-
gress to do something about the tariff,
taking the view that the tariff is a trop-
! zeal fruit-some mysterious kind of a
banana-for medical purposes, can ever
attain the highest rank in his profession. ~
Don't think so, hey?"
No, don't. guess we'll have to
part. I'm sorry, but necessity knows no
law. Take my advice, go off, some
where, out in the country, study up, as
certain thai membranous Group is not the
crupper of a harness; learn that Americas
Vespucius was not the technical name
for cabbage; hunt up the fact that the
lsraelites did not shoot quail in the des-
ert with double barreled shot-guns; in
form yourself that Plutarch was not the
the god of the internal regions; discover
that the the statistics of the hop crop do
not refer exclusively to dancing parties,
and ac9uaint yourself with the facts that
Pharaoh did not invent the game of
seven-up,' and that the word Osh-
kosh' is the name of a town, and not a
form of profanity in use by the Scandi-
navians, from whom the Americans have
obtained it in the modified form of
'Goshr Good-morning."
Mr.. Hockey is now engaged in tend
ing bar.-Mor AdeLer, in N. Y Weekly.