The Osceola times., 1877-02-24
FACTS AND FANCIES.


Your cosy crib in the corner ret;
sit AMI watch It just ss the day Is dad;
You can not preas again, my vanished pet,
Its pillow with your drowsy. Golden head.
You can not reach your arm ts get my kiss,
Or dart about with rosy, naked feet,
Babbling soft syliables of that and this,
tiny nisht-gown fairy. blithe and sweet.
Empty the home where. frolicsome and fair,
-Four precious presence made 50 bright part
Empty your little crib, your Clothes your chair;
hut emptiest OF all your mother heart.
Two women were having some words
together, when the daughter of one ot
them popped her head out of the door
and cried out: "Hurry, mother, and
call her thief before she calls you one"
CHARITY balls are still In season. The
participators have the ball, and the
public show the charity for them, the
poor-well, they have no direct interest
in the matter.
GIVE wsrk to the able-bodied, give
food and shelter TO the sick, give sympa-
thy to the distressed, and consolation to
the afflicted, but beware how you give
aims to the lazy.
The Banner of Light, the Spiritualist
newspaper, goes to the expense of cable
dispatches about the Slade case, and the
New York Sun wants To know why some
obliging spirit doesn't bring over the
news free Of cost.
The New York Telegram announces
that "wagcs Of servant girls are 10 be cut
down at that point where the mistress Of
the house will be able to overtake them
on the question of bonnet"
EMIGRANT physicians in the Quaker
city make affidavit that the ringing Of
church bells are unnerving to healthy
adults and destructive OF the rest Of in
fants, and ask, with property holders, for
an injunction to restrain the ringing OF
the bells Of st. Marks.
THIS from the Oil City Derrick, Is
probably too good to be true:
Twas young printer. devil, Who asked for kiss.
You look inky and black tho your had may 10
level,
Years passed, and the miss became an old maid
With frzzes and curls, false teeth aud pomade.
Then sadly she sough; TO recsl! the old Issue,
But the printer replied 1.-THE devil won't kiss
eyes" remarked tramp az he
stretched himself out to sleep on a seat
in the senate gallery, "the glorious pal
ladium of our liberties must Ike preserved.
We can't watch these politicians too
closely; in fact, think / shall stay here
all night"
THERE had been discussion about the
cost of dress, and she was wIathy. "Its
all very well, she pouted, "for you to
expect woman to be an angel; but I'd
have you to know, sir, that wouldn't he
even an angel, unless my wings could be
cut gorng. There, nowF'
OWNER coming into stable and ad-
dressing hostlcr: ~ say, JIM" "Yes,
sir" Take R0mco's harness of and
put il on Ophelia." ayes, SIR" "Give
Gen. Grant some oats" Eyes, SIR"
Take Gen. Sherman out to water"
"Ycs, SIR" "And rub down the Grand
Duchess" "Ay, ay, sir"
Two views of the situation by the Bur
lington Hawkeye man: II we had ss
lovely home as Judge Davis has at
Bloomington, we would not want to be
president. We wouldn't want to do
anything but sit IN the front yard and
look at the house, and be glad we lived
there and had the taxes TO pay, and one
thing and another But that's the way.
LADY (to shopman, after making him
turn over all his stock )--"There, that's
exactly the quality ! want, but it's
green, and want plum color" Insin-
uating shopmau-"You can't do better
than take this. Besides, marin, it Is
plum color" Lady" What Plum
color?' Shopman--"Certainly. Only
the plums are not ripe"
WHEN the n"xt edition of Webstcr's
Unabridged" appears. we may expect
to see this addition to the everexpand.
ing volume of the English language-
thus:
va. 1he act OF bull,loxDg the
BULL DOZE condition Of being buI-tozed. o.
II were: to be the victim Of
BULL-DOZfNG, bull. dexers 20 TO speak. Colloq.,
and vulgar.