Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1877-03-28
Pistols for Two.

While the old frigate Brandywin,
lay at Gibraltar, the American Consu
MI. Sprague, came on board with ,
man who wished to join the ship, and
after some consultation, said man wal
received by the captain as a sort o.
steward, he having agreed to work fol
his passage and board, and some sligh
consideration besides. His name wa:
Joe Lattit, and he was a regular speci
men of the strOlling Yankee; but ht
dressed well, and was remarkably
goOd-looking, though there was in hi:
face a peculiar look which indicated
that he preferred fun to sound sense
allowing, however, that the fun had
some sense 10 il. .....
The moment L placed my eyes upon
the man / knew had seen him before
and when L had an opportunity tC
speak with him, L found that he had
been a performer of legerdemain and
ventriloquism in the United States
and there | had seen him. He had
travelled through England, France and
Spain, with his implements of decep-
ton, and had just brought up at Gil
braltar when our ship came in. He
brought his whole kit on board in q
large chest, which he got permission to
stow in the bread-room, where it would
be kept perfectly dry. He had quite a
''pile" of money, which he placed in
the purser's hands for safe keeping,
but he would tell none of us how much.
But he was liberal and open-hearted,
and it was not long before the crew
blessed the hour that brought him on
board, for he was the very soul of wit
and humor.
At length our ship went to Port Ma
hon, and here our Yankee tars were at
home. One pleasant morning party
of us went on shore, and Joe Lattit was
among our numbers. Joe was dressed
in perfect shore-going rig, and ap-
peared a gentleman of CONSCIENCE.
Near the middle of the forenoon a few
of US entered a cafe, and the only occu-
pant, besides the keeper. was a Spanish
officer, evidently an infantry captain,
from his dress. We called for wine,
and had it served upon table next to
the one at which the officer sat, Joe
seating himself so that, his back came
against the back of the officer; but he
did not notice when he sat down how
close he would be.
Our laugh and jest ran high, and
just as Joe said something more than
usually funny, he threw himself back,
and thereby hit the Spaniard with such
force as TO cause him TO spill glass OF
wine upon his bosom. The fellow
leaped TO his feet, and before Joe could
beg pardon for the unintentional mis-
hap, he commenced torrent of oath and
invective, partly in Spanish and partly
in broken English. His language was
so abusive that Joe's temper was up In
a moment, and instead of asking par
don, as he had intended. he surveyed
the raving man from head TO foot, and
then said:
go on, sir. Your language is beau
tiful. very beautiful for gentleman"
"Ahi you call me no genteelman,
Ell 20 uttered the officer, in a towering
passion.
"If i were going to call you any
thing, L should call you q jackass! J"
calmly and contemporary returned
Joe.
"Aha-a-ahr' half-growled the Span
lard. rolling his black eyes wildly and
furiously- Snow, by Santa Marie, you
shall answer for that. am genteel-
man, But yOu-you-onel leetle cursed
puppy. Ah-a-ah Now you shall fight!'
Joe would have laughed the matter
of, but he found that the captain was
determined to fight, and at length he
resolved to accomodate him. The keep
er of the cafe called me on one side,
and informed me that the officer was
Captain Antonio Bizar, one of the most
notorious duellists of the place; that he
was always quarrelsome when under
the influence of liquor, and that his
companions always left him alone,
rather than have a fuss with him.
"Not five minutes before you came
in," added the keeper, ''four of his
fellow officers left him, because they
saw he was ripe for fuss. So you had
better get your friend away"
/ pulled Joe away, and told him all
that had just been told me, but he only
smiled, and assured me that there was
nothing TO fear. / felt sure at once
from his very manner that he had some
safe fun in his head, and | let him go.
s'My name is Joseph Lattit, sir; ci-
tizen of the United States, and General
of the Order of Sublime Darkness"
said Joe, pompously turning to the
Spaniard. "Your name, Sir?"
"Antonio Bizar, Captain in Her Most
Catholic Majesty's seventh regiment of
infantry. But your office, sir? don't
comprehend" ..-r
SO, you wouldn't know if should
tell you. 1 am simply general of a
body of men who have sold themselves
TO the gentleman who burns sinners
and heretics down here" And Joe
pointed most mysteriously down to-
wards the floor as he spoke.
The Spaniard smiled very bitterly
and ssrcastically, and thereupon Joe
took up two large knives which lay
upon the bar, and tossed them, one af-