The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1877-04-06

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Busiy iyssssleasaaiSs lsdj5s i5sidcDi In fact.
It is somehodB slAl bipoa ,kds s!lon ~.
4 And How Morton, Simon Cameron and
those othei sly old fellows hare quietly gone
and made their peace with Hayes, leaving
Biairs, AL unconscious, toaxing away with
his great spsach at the empty air. As
said before, Blaine is very smart. None %
thoec ely old felloys.sr 20 smart as Blaine.
He iA not only 80 smart that be can't keep
oas Of his OWE gay, but he runsso fast that
he stubs bis toe against lhiwscR and tumbles
down. He opens his mouth and puts his
foot in it. He raises his hand TO strike
Hayes and smites, his own cheekr-which is
protuberant It was funny to see Blaine
praucing up aud down the. Fcg-bsuk, and
nobody paying any attention; to him except
John. Patterson and 4Speneer. tpgsthsrsxith
afew pggcrs and sone imnlasuse.. fenales
in theo gallery. How he obrandished that
telegram ! Blaine knows how to brandish
private papers. He ksovshow to get them,
also. "Howly Chrois., said sMulligau,
she's got me mimorandy, too y With what
fine frenzy he waltzedr around there in
small open space, with John Patterson on
one side aud old Hamlin on the other, and
threw down the gage of,battle. ',,sa -. Z,
Would any solemuf old senatorial pump
stand sponsor for Stanley Matthews dis
patch Show him the son of a gun But
none of the old pumps responded. They
were past the time of life when it is con-
sidered necessary to knock chips off the
shoulders of small boys. Poor Blaine =
He couldn't even find windmill to tilt
| against; fer he was the only one in the Sen.
ate, and it is written that no windmill can
| tilt against itself Suppose some Tipperary
Irishman should waltz into the vatican some
morning with about six inches of his coat
tails dragging on the floor, and invite any
spalpeen in the august college of cardinals
to tread on them-"jist trid on tn, tip ind
av wan av thin" Or imagine robust
VIM. goat trying to provoke hitching- post
to mortal combat. 1t is long time since
anything has been seen so utterly absurd as
Blaine's effort to make Donnybrook of the
Fog. bank. 70
am sorry for Jim. He is out of his
line ofbusiuess. He should Immediately re-
sign from the Senate and get back to the
House, where the boys will always be found
ready to whoop it up for him. They never
have any rows in tho Senatc-except in ex-
ecutive session andwhat would Blaine give
for row when there are no boys or niggers
in the gallery and where no report of his
great speech could be printed in the nows-
| papers2, A row of that kind is Of no more
value to Blaint than o band gan would bes
- - any
audience of small boys to Toss him pennies
for his antics.
The only affecting part of the transaction
is the cool desertion of Blaine by Simon
Cameron, Morton, Sargent and the other
sly fellows, leaving him to the tender mer-
cies of Stanley Matthews, who, as Blaine
will presently find out, knows no such thing
as mercy for him. The situation recalls an
incident Of boyhood A neighbor of ours
had fine plum orchard, which was sur
rounded by II high board fence and in which
by way Of additional security against tho
depredations of small boys, the owner was
wont to pasture an old Merino ram with
enormous horns and disposition similar to
that Of Holman. One day half dozen of
us small boys held consultation about those
plums We agreed to capture them. We
all climbed the fence. l was detailed to
look after the Merino ram, and, in discharge
VI Wis ociiCalc responsibility, WAS soon iu-
volved in what Southern gentleman would
call ga difficulty" got good hold on
the old fellow-by the horns-and immcd-
ately my philosophical mind was beset by
the perplexing question as to whether had
the ram or the ram had me- But no sooner
was the deadlock pei feet than all the other
small boys ran away to the owner of the Or
| chard and told him there was a wicked ur-
chin out there trying to steal his plums.-
Then the owner came out and lifted ME
over that high board fence, psrtly by the
tip of my east ear and partly upon the tip
of his boot. What hurt my feelings the
worst was that, after having dismissed me
in this feeling manner, he praised the other
small boys for their honesty, and gave them
all the pums they could stuff into their
pockets That episode destroyed my faith
in human nature. Blaine will soon be
skcptic also. A. G. b.
"FRAUD-ONLY FRAUD."-Senator Nor
wood, whose term of service has just cxpir-
ed, has been in the city duriug the past
three or four days, visitor.