The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-02-22
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

Btnghdmt0n Republican.
SENSE AND NONSENSE.
WAGON wheels cannot run far without
being tired.
BE polite, and associates will not notice
that you are not handsome.
STAND by your post of duty as you
would have it stand by you.
THE doctors have no confidence in blue
glass. 1t doesn't reflect their fees.
PARTISAN ladies wear silks, vclvcts and
other expensive fabrics only indoors.
DARWIN says that birds have religious
distinctions. Hens probably belong to the
laity.
The words "soul'' and male inhab-
itant'' mean the same thing in Sclavonic
speech.
WHEN you wish person to keep an en-.
gagemcnt make the hour of appointment
at ~ 50-it's ten to one he will meet you.
A CONTEMPORARY says of a recent at
tempt at suicide that the man severed his
"esophejus." He must have had " bad
spell.''
UNCLE SAM is monarch of millions of
unsurveyed acres, and is that much better
off than Alexander Sclkirk, who was only
monarch of what he surveyed.
"MARY," said - street woman to
new servant, when you hang out the
clothes be careful to put the incest pieces
nearest the street. '-Danbury Ne,os.
CONNECTICUT thinks of making it
penal otfense for man to take more than
six per cent. interest for money or more
than seventy five cents a bush0l for pOta-
toes.
A NEW and useful philoppna present
for gentleman to give lady is gold
hair-pin. Almost every lady prefers
hair-pin as a glove buttOner to any patent
that has been invented.
WE can all do more than we have done,
And not be whit the worse;
1t never was loving th,t emptied the heart,
Or giving that emptied the purse.
AN Irish Major recently declared in .
Dublin debating society that che was no
mere political tyrO, but came to the bar of
public opinion armed with experience &C
quired in three hemispheres.
THE inhabitants of Sullivan's Island,
off the coast of South Carolina, recently
fished hundreds of dressed chickens and
ducks out of the surf in excellent eatable
CouuitioA. ~ dppcAS tuc PouNiy was
thrown overheard from the befogged
steamer Planter.
A MINISTER was telling a young girl
who was about to become bride that she
must remember that the man and wife are
one. Mercy!' said she, "if you were
under my father and mothers window
when they are quarreling you'd think
there were at least a Dozen"
IT HAD nine children to support, and it
kept me busy" said Smith to Jones, as
they met; "but one of the girls got
married. Now l have" flights"
interrupted Jones "No, ten--counting
the son-in-l law" said Smith, with sigh
which might have been heard afar off.
DON'T put too much confidence in a
lovers vows and sighs,'' said Mrs.
Darlington to her niece; 'let him tell
you that you have lips like strawberries
and cream, cheeks like tarnation and
eyes like an asterisk; but such things Oft
ener come from a tender head than q
tender heart"
A NEW BRUNSWICK exhibitor went
back to Canada from the Centennial with.
out an award for his Single making ma
chine, and reports that the judge didn't
know what shingles were until, after q
painfully minute description, he recog.
nized them rs q "species Of wooden
States"
K BOASTS that he is a mighty hunter,
but no one has ever seen him kill any.
thing. Invited to make one of hunting
party, he accepts after long pressing, and
at night returns, of course, with an empty
bag. Pressed to explain, he replies: at
has been just like this these last three
years. 1t is useless for me to 60 out hunt.
ing; not bird will show itself. My re-
nOwn prece1es me everywhere"
DARTMOUTH COLLEGE has suffered q
terrible blow in the loss of its boat house,
which, with its boats, shells and SOULS
was destroyed by heavy gale last Satur-
day night. The College will probably be
closed until this indispensable adjunct of
collegiate educational course can be re-
placed. The intellectual interests of the
country would be at a standstill if all the
college lighthouses were demolished
Darlington Hack Eye.
THE Osborne County (Kan.j Former
says: 1--WE have taken wood, potatoes,
corn, eggs, butter, onions. cabbages,
chickens, stone, lumber, labor, sand, cal
leo. sauer kraut, second hand clothing,
coon-skins and bug juice on subscriptions,
in our time, and now q man writes us to
know if we would send the paper six
months for a large owl. There are few
things an editor would refuse on sub
scription, and if we come across some fel.
low who is out of owl, and is in need Of
one, we'll do it."
A NEW way of spelling, called base
ball fashion," has been introduced into
r s. H.
are chosen as in baseball, with pitcher
and catcher on each side. One side
spells at time. The pitcher on the first
side, and the catcher on the first side
"takes up'' and corrects a word when
misspelled by the other side. Every word
that is spelled correctly is Tailed for the
side that spelled it, and every misspelle6
word is called out, if spelled correctly
by the opposite side. Three out, all out.
The scholars say it is lots of fun to spell
in this way.
The Detroit Free Press reports the fol.
lowing: He was young man, and be
looked liked a student-like one of the
students in attendance at Harvard College
Moreover, his prompt action, as he saw q
loaf of bread ON the crosswalk up Wood
ward avenue, went to show that he was
fond of football, and therefore student
at Harvard. He reasoned that the Loaf
had fallen from bakers sleigh, and fur;
Their reasoned that it was better for him to
kick it into forty pieces than for some
poor man to find it. He kicked. He
kicked for all he was worth, and uttering
wall of agony he limpcd to the fence and
leaned against it and sworc like pirate
'rho-interior of that lost loaf of bread
vas handsome cobblcstoae, put there fol