The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1877-08-25
HoW4R4ratUs W4RD CURED a sSoB

During Artemus Wards soiourn in
London, which was, alas too hrief, I
introduced him . avery good fellow, a
great admirer Of lis WhimaieaI books,
but who was something of atuft-hnnter
withaI. AS Lord byron said of the poet
Tom Moore, he dearly loved a lord, !
or anything fourishing a handle to his
name. My friend Weatherwax we will
so call him, for as a good Citizen and q
rate payer, and the father of a large fam
lily, 1 must not disclose his real namel
had a charming house, a brilliant draw
ingtfoom, and was fond of entertaining
aristocratic society. Artemus and he
were quickly sympathetic, and became
close friends, but, with his character
istic penetration, he was not long
discovering Weatherwax's penchant for
swell acquaintance. Calling with Ar
temus one afternoon, we were shown
into the salon, and, while await
ing our host, we amused ourselves with
looking over the visiting cards in a
huge china bowl. On the top of the pile
was conspicuously PLACED the card ofLord
CowIey. The careful position Of the bit
of p~asteboard plainly indicated that it had
not got there by chance. The eye of the
humorist twinkled, and in an instant he
transferred The card to the bottom of the
bowl, leaving plain Brown, Jones or Rob
inson, as the case might be, at the top IN
full view. CHOW" said Artemus " from
time to time as we come here, we will
follow the fortunes of that card"
"suppose we rob him of it outright"
l said with malicious mildness, "and
break his heart for eve and ever"
"Not a bit of it; that will defeat my
purpose"
Our host appeared; we had our inter-
view and departed. A few days passed,
and we called again. We were shown, as
usual, into the drawing. room, and glanc-
ing at the bowl, found that the card OF
Cowley had been fshed up from the bot
tom, and restored to its old position as
"head of the heap" On this day we
dined, and, during the evening, Artemus
whisked the card off the bowl and said !:
"By Jove, I'll secrete this where he
will never find it," and while Wether-
wax had gone to look after the ladies he
placed it between the leaves Of a mann
moth gilt-edged g~orgeously Illuminated
family Bible. "There, I've securely
lodged it in the book Of Job," whispered
Artemus; "now we'll see how long it
abideth there. Idon't think he troubles
the sacred tot1e very often"
A week or more passed before we saw
Weatherwax again. The card had been
found in the meantime and proudly
5eamed at us from its usual conspicuous
position, This time Artemus slipped it
under the carpet, and in doing so rather
soiled it's pure enamelled surface. 81
Gods bodikins, as they say in old Eng
lish, I think it's found a secure resting
place at last. He'll not see that surely
until the carpets are taken up or
shaken. Ny Lord Cowley, a sweet and
tender adieu."
1t must have been a month before our
next call, and we palpitated with curl
osity as we approached the house. In a
few moments we were bending over the
aforementioned china bowl, and to our
astonishment there was not only the
card in its old place, but it had been
carefully cleaned, evidently with india
rubber, and shone with all its original
brightness.
"That's the most Micawber- like card /
ever saw-it's always turning up. I
wonder if he has started a new one" said
Artemus, and he felt under the carpet; to
see if, by any chance, the old card was
there. No, it had gone, and the one We
pensively gazed upon was evidently the
same that had been concealed.
"I'm bothered now to know where to
hide that darned pasteboard, but I think
we must give. him one more search" re-
marked the American, drily. ga French
uorJou:II;,+o mould +v,rn 4b;c ;oo;do~+
into a Iever de rideau for the palais royal,
and this concealing the card is not unlike
the main incident of Sarden's play,
Les Pattes de Mouche.' Now, where
can I place it," And he NODDED around
the apartment in his endeavor to light
on a secure spot. "Ah, here!" And
mounting a chair he laid it carefully
high away on the broad eornice of the
lofty window, entirely out of sight.
"That will bother him. Hunting the
hare or deer stalking is nothing to this.
I should like to see him on h. travels in
search of the lost prize. l wonder if he
suspects us?"
At that moment our Amphytrion en-
tered the room. He was in buoyant
having enjoyed a spin on a coach,
four-in-hand, over Hampstead and High
gate, with a noble duke.
"Ah, glad to see you. Had such a
glorious ride on Beaufort's coach. Coach
ng is delightful, and his grace has four
handsome browns, the wheelers perfection
of shape and action, and the leaders,
a little raw and new to their
work, greatly admired" And he ratified
on as pleasantly as the coach which he 50
recentIv had Quilted. Gas nv friend,