The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1877-03-01
Observation. Of Mon and Things.
BY OUR GEORGE.

subject, and l am now as unsettled about it, as
most of my ledger accounts. want to do JUS
tice to myself, and justice to the hog, and in
this age OF science and discovery, writer must |
not attempt subject, unless he can photograph |
it from every point.
The world is full of mistakes, and am con-
tinuaIly sticking them into me, and if every |
mistake have made were pin, should be az |
full as pin cushion in family of six girls. IL |
refreshes me to know that am not the only |
one who makes mistakes. remember once
and the memory of it makes me feel as if ! were |
sitting under the ewes of = bee hive, and honey |
at fifty cents pound was dripping all over ME |
i remember how Il beautiful and Lublnly |
scented girl, once kissed me in the dark. mis-
taking me for another chap. heard her after
wards explain it to friend. She simply said
''''Twas not he, but twas nice" | offered to
correct the mistake, bat she told me that the
bank was closed.
lWoud give four dollars TO feel sure whether |
the hog could be classed as literature, being
production of the pen, or az a vegetable, being |
raised from the root but l am leaning toward |
the latter conclusion so lar that ! fear | shall
lose my balance and fall over to that, for the
hog can out root any rule in Arithmetic,
whether square or cube.
To the eye the hog presents the picture of an
anvil, set up on four short legs. He is covered
with brstles, which are more useful than orna-
mental. The shoemaker uses them in making
waxed ends, 50 called because the ends are not
waXed. Bristles are also used extensively in
making wigs for bald headed brushes; and
here let me observe that nothing this side of
the Rocky Mountains will bring a boy to time
so abruptly as a stiff hair BRUSH applied to him
in lieu of a slipper. 1t makes him feel as if he
had sat down on an energetic galvanc battery.
A new hog weighs about ten pounds, if he is
heavy enough. | heard OF hog that weighed
1900 pounds and have frequently seen them
wade, but not as deep AS that. Young hogs are
put up in packages of about a dozen each, like
early onions, and nothing but cast-ron hitch
ing post can look at a family of pigs about
day old. lying on clean straw, eating supper
without feeling that it is one of the prettlest
sights he ever gaZed 1T, and | always have
desire to climb into the pen and lie down with
them, and the only reason that ! don't is be-
cause it would spoil the picture
The front end of a hog is finished of like
snow pillow, and he will spade up a garden
quicker than shovel factory. His back bone
is about six inches longer than he is, and runs
out through him and is curlcd up for = tail.
Socrates spent considerable time in trying to
find out what a pigs tail was good for. ana ne
finally decided that you could not make whis-
tie out Of ii. This, and his discovery that you
could not pick your teeth with your elbow
served to place him in the front rank of philos
ophers. If any of the Socrates family were at
the Centennial, they might have seen u very
good whistle made out OF a pigs tail but sin
cerely trust that they did not inform the Old
gentleman. for it makes 4 man feel az il q Sar
atoga trunk had dropped on him to have some
one else lind out that q discovery of his was
wrong.
Hogs go by various names: hogs, pigs and
swine; but called by either they make good
pork, and melted down thin, as a basis for fry
ing doughnuts. he occupies the top rail on the
fence. AS food destroyer, he is the best
boarder man ever kept. He never complains
about the cooking, and will eat anything on the
bin of fare without grumbling He is always
blessed with good appetite. iou never see
his name on a testimonial, certifying to the e1ii-
cacy OF patent medicine for the cure of dys-
pepsa. A hog nor a sausage machine - ever
troubled with dyspepsia. They are Just a. re-
liable as quartz crusher or q corn sheIlef.
Hogs believe in the Jewish religion. and could
they have their way it would be wide spread
and universal. | have frequently noticed the
absence of pork on the bill Of fare at Jewish
hotel
The hog goes :,heat. on the same principle Of
| the Australian boomerang, that il, i'll an oppo-
site direction. The way 10 drive 4 hog, is to
point him the way you want him TO go; then
tie string to his hind leg, and pull hard in the
opposite direction. and ii the string holds, you
will get the hog at his destination on Time
Never Try 10 drive a hog. you might AZ Well
undertake TO nail Gown carpet with toad
stools, using them instead of leather headed
tacks.
There is > certain age At which Il hog some
times is allowed to arrive, when his entire use
fitness consists in having his peeling removed,
and made into saddles, hui generally he u cut
off in his youth, cat of with knife. Ii is his
misfortune to become the victim OF a SET of cut
throats
lie I'm vi NV ny, - uHhil''Nl NV ~
found in nearly all countries, and is pro-
miscous ~ Il liar. In his wild state he ls regard
ed as game A boar hunt il considered by some
nations AS the best of sport, but with us We
don't hunt the boar. Unfortunately the bore
hunts us, and when he finds as. this bright
world loses all its Brightness and we long for
a tornado or the grasshopper plague 10 come
along and destroy us.
There is nothing but = plumbers bill that
grows as fast as Il hog. When he gets ready 10
fat up, he makes business of it. and he adopts
the ate hour system. When he gets so fat that
he cannot see, he generally considers that he
has won the game. Some philosopher has as
serted that a hog cannot climb a tree, but dur
ing the war pork was up so high that don't
see how it got there, unless it did climb
The Bible makes mention of devils being cast
into the swine, and as hog culture has always
been so extensive, this may account satistac-
torily, why people have been so persistent in
raising the devil. There is possibility that
some of that herd of swine We're not drowned.
A favorite amusement of the amateur farmer
in the city is raising family pig. No pork is
as nice, no lard so white, and no ham so tender
and juicy. as that cut from the family pig. The
owner keeps shaved single stuck in crack
in the barn, on which he keeps the pig account.
During the summer, the weeds and refuse of
the garden furnishes all the necessary food,
and the charges are few and light; but toward
fall, as corn and meal are bought, the charges be-
come rs terrible rs that of the gallant 600'
and the owner wipes the sweat from his brow,
as he gazes at that shingle, and he begins to
think that perhaps his pig Is like soap bubble,
all outside and hollow within. No ballot box
was ever stuffed as he is, and the owners whole
interest centers in having his pet weigh more
than his neighbor's. Every Sunday the MEM
bers of the Pig Club meet and visit each other'S
stye, and gaze at the growing porcines, and es-
INNATE their various weights, and the average
cost per pound of raising, and as the panorama
of spare ribs, clear pork, lard and hams fit past