The Red Cloud chief., 1877-08-16
HUMOROUS.

fluid at a church fair are no longer call
Ell stews. but a~quariums.
What's the difference between a girl
and a night-cap? One is born 70 wed,
and the other is wOrn to bed.
BibIcal scholars Will be pleased TO
learn that the Vanderbilt heirs have
unanimously resolved to stand by the
old testament.
On Danube's stormy banks stand,
and cast a wistful eye t'ward Turkeys
fair and unhappy land, where cores
pOndents lie.
The Toledo Blade asks How to do
up Shirts z" Well, if you have not got
more than two, you can do them up III
"a brown paper pocket parcel when you
travel.
She was very particular, and when
the dealer Informed her that all his ice
was gathered winter before last, She
wouldn't give him her order. She said
ale couldn't palm off his stale ice on
her"
p~aterfamilias: "Tu-mUrrOw Is tue tu-
tors birthday; what can | get for a
present." Charley (who has been watch
ing the dogs in the street.: "Gethlm Il
muzzle, papa; he is always biting the
%governess on the cheek"
a don't believe in fashionable chur-
ches," said a lady recently;"but, after
all, considering that We are all to goto
the same Heaven, perhaps it's better to
keep up the social distinctions as long
as we can"
G0Od-looking young nia VINO has
called at the house on busineSS-"l re-
greet, miss, that your father IS not az
home. | had an important proposal 10
make to him" Young lady of the house,
demurely well. perhaps you could
make your proposal to ne; | am Olsen
gagged at present" GOOd-loOking yOIng
man excuses himself and IetireS IN con
fusion.
A white minister in IA Methodist pull
pit in Charleston, ). e., "A few years ago,
after a sermon preached by another
minister, prayed that what had been
"sown i'll weakness might be raised il
power what had been "soWn in cor
ruption might be raised in incorrup-
ton" and so OH through several phrases
Of IdulS great argument FOX the reSilr-
r~ection, and AL TO the infinite amuSe
mcnt of the brother who had preached
and of several Northern visitors.
TIE Rev. DR.. McCoSh, of Princeton
College, tells a story of Il negro who
prayed earnestly that he and his col
orei brethren might be preserved from
their "upSettin' sins" "Hrudder," said
one of his friends at the close of The
meeting, "yOu amt got de hang ola da
ar word. It's besettin', not upsettin'.'
"Brudder," replied the other, IF OATS 81
it's SO. But | was prayin' de Lord t.
save us from de sin ob ~toxication. an
EFF dat amt a upSettin' sin | dunno
what am" The darky was right that
time.
An editorial friend in New Hamp
shire sends this to H0rper's Magazine
Some time ago an aged man, who haC
jIst lost his wife, came into our sane
tum, and with tears standing in hi
eyes, eHlOgized the memory of the de
ceased, and asked us to record the dealt
in our next issue. And" said he
while you are about if, make an iten
l about one of my Brahma hens laym
Z an egg measuring seven and a quartz
inches in circumference" Thus SUD
denly our thoughts of sympathy wer
directed to the sterner realities of lif'
J "Shy as a GIRL" This is a pretty an
y pertinent simile. This morning "A bev
of young girls were passing the Office
eating peanuts and swapping the shell
over their heads, when a couple of boy
in "A wagon came along. when n c
he shy maidens said:
Want a peanut, Billy"
Yes" answered the eXpectant Wi
+ liam.
stand ON your head, then, aud /
6 give YOU one" she cried back.
q, And then all the maidens lifted Ii
=, their voices in a volumninous scream
q and William gave the horse such
! lick that filled it with CONSERVATION.
Art needs solitude or misery or pa