Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1877-06-27
TERMS:
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.

of forty thousand muscles.
Texas wheat is so high that grass
hoppers have to walk on stits.
America is willing to furnish Eu-
rope with wheat, but no corpses.
The favorite song of the grass
.hoppers: "rhis wheat by-an'-by."
1.-THE only way to look at a lady's
faults" says gallant, "is to shut
your ey"s."
The oldest sort of fire escape on
record is the fond husband who lies
.abed in the mornings.
neutrality-suspicious.
rein1720 beforethatwordsa dsentence
swerestrungalltogether.
A Dublin woman has given birth
to four children. One more and she
would have had fush.
Some people act in this world as
though they believe they can buy
reserved seatsiB the next.
The Troy Times reports that ex
Governor Hendricks has sunk $685.
600 in that Butte-ifuI gold mine.
The Chinaman's shoes are labori-
ously described "a pair OF mud
scows, with cellar doors for soles."
Among the late important state
events in Europe are the deaths OF
Bismarck's dog and the Pope's cat.
The cold shoulder, just now, be-
longs 10 the man who Was too pre-
vious in abandoning his undershirt.
The man who can't sneeze without
waking up the baby should be made
to hold in though il blew his head
off.
"Embracihg servant girls in the
basement" was the chief complaint
of 296 divorce cases in Chicago last
year.
If man smite thee on the left
cheek bounce him--if he is smaller
than you are and you eau get away
with him.
One of the saddest moments IN
life is when man finds that his hair is
SO thin that he Is unable to hold II
pen over his ear.
A young man in Onondaga county,
N. Y, had his teeth extracted to aid
him in breaking off the habit of
chewing tobacco.
The Turks are said to he we'll sup
piled with improved arms, but 1t is
believed that they will stand more in
need of good legs.
The greatest advantages as to
books, schools and instructors are
likely to be Of little service unless
there is application.
"That portable stove saves half the
fuel" said an ironmonger. "Faix,
thin, I'll take two of them, and save
it oil, replied his customer.
To dread no eye and to suspect no
tongue is the great prerogative Of in
nocence-an exceptional privilege
granted only to invariable virtue.
The young woman who said kiss.
ing was like sewing machine be-
cause it scanned good, evidently al
luded to q sewing machine with a
.feller.
A long-escaped murderer, who
died in Nebraska, left this confession
on the stand by his bedside: "A
murderer never forgets the face Of
his victim"
Experience is wise teacher, but
the man who teels June bug creep
ing inside his trowsers leg has no re-
source save his natural ability
Rome Sentinel.
And now shall woman tie up her
jaw in flannel, and wonder what
made her in such hurry to have all
the stoves put up in the garrett
Eaton Free Press.
A millionaire in San Francisco has
paid 800 for kissing the family
.seams,ress; yet people will persist in
saying that prices are going down.
Rochester Democrat.
The Bey of Tunhs has decorated
Thaddcus Fairbanks, inventor of
Fairbanks scales, with the order of
commander Thus man scales the
rugged nights and finds the weigh to
glory.
When the foreman Of a composing
room knocks a form into "pl" now,
he doesn't have it reset as of yore.
He simply slaps in into the press as
1t is and the newspaper is run off
with . war map up to the average.