Lincoln County advocate. (Canton, Dakota Territory, [S.D.]) 1876-1877, 1877-01-10
HUMOROUS.

HUMOROUS.
| A LADY wished seat in q crowded
hall. A handsome gentleman gave
her chair. "You are q jewel" she
said. 20, no, am a jeweler; + have
tset the jewell
3n> BILLINGS says a frst-rate thing
JOSH. w. For instance: " Per.
occasi0fias. ~ays wins. I have known
seterance az 1red cases where it had
It to win in httn>
never oushs W. longer fashion.
able, and people who den. kettle
STYLE will set to work ON the ts> 49,
coal bunker and ice-chest, and p> -
not till the last end of monogramism h
rubbed out. .@
Observation-Disclosures on cars be-
tween the Centennial Grounds and
Philadelphia. "Say, Uncle Bile, wot
rivers this? s this the Hudson 2
"Wy, no, Isrel; you're turned round,
amt We? This is a Pennsylvania river;
they call it the Goosequill."
The speaker at an anniversary meet
ing mournfully said: Zone by one our
friends are passing from us into the
land of shadows" "Well," exclaimed
an old lady, "you wouldn't have 'em 60
two by two, or all in q huddle, would
your"
"TIcKEr, sir r. said railroad sicket
collector the other day to q passenger.
"My face is my ticket" replied the
other, little vexed. "Indeed?" said
the ticket collector, displaying most
powerful "bunch of fives," swell, my
orders are to punch all tickets !"
A B1NGHAMToN man is suing for a
divorce from his wife on the plea that
she has q glass eye that is always open
nights, and the "aspect makes him
nervous" He coaled her to close 1t
with red sealing wax, but that only In
creased his terror. "a. 500,
A Boston newspaper asserts that a
western manufacturer sent . pair OF
lady's slippers to the Centennial with
out designating their use, and they
were at once assigned q prominent
place among boats and nautical affairs.
IT is told for a fact that little fax
en-haired boy of five years, who had
passed the afternoon at the Boston Art
Museum, looking up in his mothers
face, said: If all the mammas, when
they die, turn into mummies, do all
the papss turn into puppies?"
A TOUGH old schoolmaster has jus
died in Yorkshire, Eng, at the age of
"a. 1t is calculated that in forty-five
years, during which he has taught
school, he had walked 1856 miles,
but it is not estimated how many boys
he whaled in that time.
"WHAT strain that is !" said Mrs.
Partlngton, as she heard an air from
Lucia sung in the highest style by a.
young lady where she was visiting
"Yes," was the response, ct is op-
cratic" supper attic, is it," question.
ed she. II should think it was high
enough to be on the top of the house"
THEY had been engaged long time,
and one evening were reading the pa.
per together. "Look, love-" he e1.
claimed, "only SIS for suit of
clothes !" els it wedding suit?" she
asked, looking naively at her lover.
ooh, no u" he replied, it is a business
suit" "Well, meant business" she
replied"
A MEMBER of the French Assembly
received from one of his constituents
the following letter: ~ shall take my
wife and daughters to the Assembly on
Thursday night. l shouldn't like to
have them 60 to Versailles for nothing,
and 80 I shall take it as a personal favor
if you will arrange to have something
said that will make the opposition get
up and howl.
A POOR fellow in Illinois, with weak
appetite, was tantalized by being able
to dispose of only the following tit-bit
at supper: Two dezen fried oysters,
two dozen raw oysters; one sirloin
steak, two and half pounds; one lake
trout, three pounds two quails on toast,
one prairie chicken, one plate Of ham
and eggs, one venison steak, two large
loaves Of bread, two dishes Of crackers
and three cups of tea. %@
AMONG the spectators standing
around the Webster statue in Central
Park, Sunday forenoon, was respect
able.looking man leading boy Of ten
or twelve, to whom he said: LOOK
there, my son! That's a great man.
That's Webster, who made al our dc
tionaries p Another spectator was
heard to remark to stranger VINO
seemed curious in regard to the. like
ness: seen him once wheel he come
out O. court, and the minute the cloth
was hauled off yesterday ! knowed him.
He had on a blue coat with brass but
tons, just exactly the same as he's got
on now ~ .-