The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1877-01-12
FRESH FLASHES OF FUN.

Ladies' muffs are made this season so
as to get three hands in at a squeeze.
The man who was "moved to tears"
complains OF dampness of the premises,
and wishes to be moved back again.
A huge black bear which serves as a
sign for a New York shop bears the
placard, "Meet me by moonlight alone"
"We've got to economize, or this
country is ruined," was the soliloquy OF
a st. Louis husband as he kindled the
tlre with his wife's hustle.
1t is mean to snicker in your sleeve
when woman slips down and rush to
her assistance win tears in your eyes,
and tell her how sorry you feel.
"EXcuse me, madam, but l should like
to ask why you look at me 80 savagely,"
said II gentleman TO lady at party.
''Ohl beg pardon, Sir. took you tor my
husband"
The Danbury News man thinks that
when the present crop OF buckWheat has
got a little more ditfused in the human
system, there will be less interest taken
in the election.
A postal clerk In Dubuque opened a
letter just to see if certain girl was
very sweet on certain fellow. She was,
and the Government is also very sweet
on the postal clerk.
"Mr. Jones, you said you were coE'
nected with the fine arts; do you mean
that you are sculptorF' "No, sir, |
don't sculpt myself, but L furnish the
stone to the man that does"
A young lady sent poem to a British
newspaper entitled, 81 can not make
him smile" The editor ventured to ex-
press an opinion that she would have
succeeded had she SHOWN him tie poem.
MIR. Stephen X rksey, a sturdy black
smith OF Maytield, Kentucky, put y
package of powder on hot anvil last
Thursday night, and he saw the moteor
before anybody else, and kept on seeing
it longer.
.Mistress-"Why, Mary, how long
you've been with the eggsp Mary
"Sure, mum, you towld ME TO bile 'em
wid the egg biler, an Pve put 'em in the
pot together, but IL don't bile em at all
at ali, !or they're cowlI nowI Sure am
l think the ovid ways the best way
afIher ALL"
An exchange sagely advises that
''warm baths should be taken before
going to bed" Quite likely. Ii the Gus.
tom OF taking baths Immediately arLer
going TO bed should become general, We
d0RL believe this Presidential ques ton
ever would be settled.
People who pinned their faith to the
goose bono and sold their overcoats, ana
didn't lay in their cord wood when the
nights were dark, are now reduced to
the necessity OF staying in bed to keep
warm, and are auxiously awaiting the
return OF the shady grounding.
The other day some of the boys In.
duced a young man to take mold of the
handles of galvanic battery. As il
puckered him up he roared, "JImlny
Criminy, let up! VINO ever heard of q
thing that could make you taste green
persimmons with your hands, before p
There are moments when even the ten
der language Of sympathy is mockery TO
the stricken heart. What con.
ISOLATION is 1t to a man who has slipped
on the icy sidewalk and broken through
Il cellar grating, 10 be told by Christi an
men on The other side OF the street to
flare up, anu hit it harder the next
tlme."
The anvil chorus is very hard hard
music-A genius can have his hair cut
as soon as his coat collar is suffi .entiy
soiled-You eau not build Il fire in the
mornlug by lying in bed and quarreling
about lt-A traveller can walk over two
leet of snow on Boston Common and
read signs warning him TO ''Keep off the
grass."-lN. D. Rep.
Mr.. Joseph Moreland, of Louisa Coun-
ty, While passing behind colt the other
day, slapped il on the rump, when Inc
colt reached up and slapped Mr.. More
land on The jaw. Mr.. MOrelauu's face
was terribly mangled and bruised, but
he is getting over it, and the nexL time
he wants to slap colt he will improve
his reach with fishing pole.
George Eliot says that girls are DELI
cate vessels, in which is borne onward
through the ages the treasure of human
aff .clion. George, George, you don, :
know anything about it. Did you ever
lake weeks salary into ladies res
taurant, and try to fill one OF these .:del.
icate vessels" Win ice cream, layer cake
ana chocolate caramels. Girly, it can't
be did.
The Chinese do not seem to have an
lntuitiye idea Of the sanctity of an oath.
a consular ofice-boy, who had been in
the service nearly nine years, was look
ing Tor something which he evidently
could not rind, and was asked what il
was. "rhe Consul is going to try case
this naOrninUO ha ranItad G,nJ I .,,,