The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1877-08-03

Humorous Review of the Anima from His
toricaf and other standpoints.
The mule Is the only animal that
Noah didn't take into the ark with him.
| have looked over the freight list care
fully, and could not see a mule way
billed for any place. So clear-headcd a
man as Noah did not dare take one on
board, as he knew he would kick a hole
through her In less than a week. l
don't know a man on whose head you
could pour quicksilver and run less risk
Of its splitting of than on Noah's. He
was a dreadful level-headed man, and
before the freshet was over every body
on earth realized the fact.
The origin Of the mule il enveloped
in a good deal of mystery. Tradition
informs US that when the flood had sub
sided and the ark had landed on Mount
Ararat, Noah was very much surprised
in one Of his first observations TO find n
good healthy mule standing on the top Of
an adjoining mountain. The same ira
dition informs us that the mule Is the
only animal that lived through the flood
outside the ark.
The mule can be considered in a good
many ways, though the worst place from
which to consider him is directly from
behind, anywhere within a radius Of ten
feet. l never consider a mule from that
point, unless | am looking out through
the fiue Of a boiler.
Sea captains and people who have to
do with mules always pay an extra rate
~ Isfo ,nouroono .om.as,oo mula
and a belt of country where yellow fever
is indigenous generally stand the same
as regards the death rate.
The word mule comes from the Greek,
and signifies "to STOP and the mule
himself comes to a stop also. Like null
tiplied by like produces like. Grass
hoppers multiplied by grasshoppers pro-
duce famine, and potato-bugs multiplied
by potato-bugs produce a rise in the
price Of yeast. But when you try 10
multiply mules by mules they don't null
tiply, and hence the word mule. You
may study your arithmetic, and read
through all Of Trains lectures, but can
not discover why this is so, any more
than you can why a woman can not put
on a rubber without leaning up against
something.
The mule has one more leg than a
milking stool, and he can stand on one
and wave the other three round In As
many different directions. He has only
three senses, hearing, seeing and smell
ing. He has no more sense of taste than
a stone Jug, and viii eat any thing that
contains nutriment, and he don't care
two cents whether it be n per cent. or
ninety-nine. All he asks Is TO pass him
along his plate, with whatever happens
to be handy round the pantry, and he
won't go away and blow how poor the
steak is. He just eats whatever Is set
before him, and asks no questions.
Mules are naturally deaf, but that SUI
preme wisdom hat teaches the little boy
to wipe his nose on his sleeve has fitted
the mule out with a pair Of airs that
counteracts its deafness, 70 he can hear
as readily 3 . person when you don't
want him to. These ears answer a
double purposes tunnels to pour
sound into his ears, and also as fans to
brush away the flies with and keep his
head cool. They are hung by hinges TO
the sides of his head, and flap back
ward and forward like q pair Of wet
round a boys legs In cold
ATTITUDES quite a tasty business is done in
mules ears. The ears are cut off and
dried, and sold for snow-shoes, and then
the stubs are trimmed up and the mules
are sent South and sold for horses. In
this way a great many fine horses were
purchased for the army by the United
States.
If | we're to have a large picture Of
Innocence to hang up in my parlor, and
/ did not wish to sit for it myself, /
should get a correct likeness of a mule.
There IS innocence enough depicted in
. mules countenance to fit out a Sun
day-school class. 1t looks as guileless
as an angle-worm.
A mule never grows old or dies. Once
brought into existence he continues on
forever. The original mule is now alive
somewhere in the South.
Mules are chiefly found in the South
and West. They have been more abused
than Judas Iscariot. A boy who would
not throw a stone at a mule II he got a
chance would be considered by his par
ents as too mean to raise.
The mule is a good worker, but he
can not be depended on. He is liable
TO strike, and when a mule strikes hui
man calculation fails to find out any
rule by which to reckon when he will
60 to work again. tits useless to pound
him, for he will stand more beating than
q sitting-room carpet. He has been
known to stand eleven days in one spot,
apparently thinking Of something, and
then start of again as though nothing
had happened.
Down South, when they have a sur
plus Of small darkies on the plantation,
they send them out into the barn-yard
to play, where there Is a loose mule.
They always bid them goodbye when
they start ont. for they are sure the mart