The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1877-08-11
NUMBER II.
PASSING SMILES.

| Il dNRfNu c4ulLlIC.
THE tattooed man is a marked char
acter.
NEVER make promise when the power
of performing that promise depends on
another.
WHAT color is small boys face apt to
turn when he goes to the dentistsg A
loud yeller
DORCHESTER journal: When the birds
soar they MARBLE; but when a Threats
sore it doesn't.
CAMDEN Post: Philosophy is good
thing. Philosophy gives man cheek
enough to pay ono cent for newspaper
and five cents for poor cigar.
81 APOLOGIZE for saying you could not
open your mouth without putting your
foot in it, said the editor, sternly re-
garding the horsewhip she held over his
head. " ] solemnly assure you that when
| said it had no idea of the size of your
foot"
NEW YORK Weekly; A distinguished
Japanese traveller in this country writes
home: "The chief branch of education
of young men here is rowing. The peo-
pie have large lighthouses called col
leges' and the principal of these are Yale
and Harvard"
SIR THOMAS CAT.
How doth the busy Tomas eat
Improve the midnight hourl
Enseonoed upon the roof he yawps
With all his feline power.
And now another Thomas cat,
Encouraged by the sound,
Sends up challenge to his foe
To meet him on the ground.
And still another fourth,
Convene TO scratch and bite,
While fretted mortas toss and moan
Throughout the dismal night.
hat boots II though boot be thrown
Aye, marry, or the jack2
They scaniper off, but, in an hour,
Come smiling, yawping back -,
Mrs. L1vERMoRE will lecture next
season on "Thc Coming Man. Last
year it was What Shall we DO with
Our DaughtcrsT' and we presume the
present lecture is somehow to be made q
sequel of the former.
SENATOR BAyARD tells that the ven
cradle John Adams once said to Daniel
Webster, who had inquired after his
health, 81 inhabit frail, weak tene-
ment, in decay; battered by the winds,
and broken in upon by storms, and from
all can learn the landlord does not in
tend to repair"
DANBuRY Nems: Dr. Schlieman
sold groceries for twenty years, and
thinks that had he not been a grocer ho
could not have succeeded IN his discov-
cries. This is undoubtedly true. Put
ting five pints of moasscs in two--quart
pail developes mans ingenuity in the
highest degree.
PHILADELPHIA Bulletin: You 90 down
to the seaside and engage bed and board
at one of the hotels. After an uncom-
Portable nights rest you rise in the morn
ing with q face looking like a planked
shad and an inward conviction that the
bed was all right, but most of the board
was stuffed in the pillow.
The Reading Eagle is in distress. Its
MONDAYS issue contained the following:
Not lodger weak and weary, or u
drunkard bleak and berry, not tramp
or vagrant dreary, had couch upon the
floor, for the station house was empty,
not a mortal there to tempt the long
tailed rats to play at sentry, ms they often
playcu DelOIc. ohlu tiio eui hhSJ, iiS'SA
more.
A New YORK journalist sums up the
value of newspaper articles in this
fashion: A two column article has one
reader in one hundred. A column and a
half, one reader in seventy-fve. col
umn article, one reader in fifty. A three
quarter column article one reader in
twenty-five. A half column, one reader
in ten. A quarter column article is read
by every one.
A NEBRASKA journal invitingly says:
Who says farmers cannot get rich in
this State? Fifteen years ago young
man came to this State without dollar
in the world. Last week he went out OF
the State, carrying with him the sum OF
one dollar and thirty-eight cents, the saw
ings of fifteen years of frugal life. Come
West, young man, come West.
WHAT the Philadelphia Bulletin knows
of the Cape May mosquitoes: When
big trunk was landed from an express
wagon into the entry of hotel, the MINI
Bile insects usually made for it and
crawled through the key-hole for the pur-
pose of taking notes. If the clothes within
betokened that fat person was the
owner, the mosquitoes would stay within
and be carried up to the room.