The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-05-31
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

SANG suowERs-Clerks showing new
goti1k
RrooD nK1.Ar1oxsAfhe news of the
next few months.-PuxeA.
.4eoDA.wATER tastes likc&lfkew when ones
foot is asleep.-Ecchange.
WHAT the Russians want is more room
for instance, more Roumania.
Is TT mere coincidence that . man in
the habit of getting corned always looks
sccdy!
EVERY faithful Mohammedan feels that
this is the time of all times to Mecca q
pilgrimage. II
BREroNNE suits for children are made
of pique, trimmed with India ribbons and
smoked pearl buttons. ~ - a. s5fft
KAIAFAT has beer. occupied by the
Turks. Marrowfat may fall next. and
then farewell TO pease.GOdrson appeal.
THE Washington Star says no one but
q spider escaping from an ink bottle ever
came near forging Gen. Spinncr's sigma
ture.
No MAN can do a per cent. business
on money borrowed at IL per cent, and
expect to get rich right off.-Chieago
Journal.
HueH McCULLocH says that in no
branch of industry arc the people of the
United States behind Europeans except in
farming.
A vAaRANT,. who had been fined regu-
larly every week for begging, requested
the magistrate to fiue him by the year at d
reduced rate.
HISTORY says" Caesar had his Brutus:"
But somehow or other we always had the
impression that Brutus rathef had Casaf.
Bob Burdette.
A Observation-Disclosures notice OF .
marriage in PhiladelOhia ended with the
announcements: "No cards; no flowers;
nobody's business"
In winding up an article on the last corn
crop, an Alabama editor remarked: 1--WE
have on exhibition in our sanctum mag
niticent pair Of ears
TINS is about the time of the year the
Ice men begin to circulate reports that their
crop OF Ice was ruined by the late frosts.
-PhiladelpAia Bulletin.
EMINENT but Incorporate citizens, who
IRE hereafter invited to dine at the White
House. are arranging to pretend that they
are Russians.-N0raosch Bulletin.
MASSACHUSETTS has q new law for the
protection of Holsters. Any person offer
ing for sale lobster less than ten inches
II length is liable to fine Of IS.
WHEN you see . tramp boiling his
weekly meal you are comfOrtcd with the
reflection that beyond peradventure flour
Is going down.-Roehesser Democrat.
WHEN dogs are Rushin around alone,
it is proper that the decree of Muzzlcm
should go forth. Whenever mad dog
appears the war.cry of the police IS
Main itr'-N. Y. Graphic.
The Oxford IN. CO. z'orehliaat asks:
is debt blessing or a curse:" Bob
Burdette replies: Both, sonny; both. It
is blessing to the man who can get into
it deeply enough, and curse to the other
man. who has it to collect"
ALL other signs may fail; but when you
see woman with straw hat on her head,
drop of whitcwasll ON her nose, and an
expression of great executive ability on
her features, you may bet that the season
of ethereal mildncss is at hand.-Korce..
ter Press.
The Oricntals are very trusting to each
other. "Are you not afraid to go away
from your shop without locking it ?" a
traveller asked an Egyptian up the river.
"Oh, no." answered the man coolly,
"therc is not q Christian within three
miles!"
THERE is millinery store in Boston
which is overrun with applications for
employment, the applicants all offering to
work for nothing. The rush is explained
by the fact that within seven years fifty
seven young lady clerks have been mar
ried from the store.
THE last thing Turk gives to his fam
lily when he enlists for war is an order to
keep the horses fat, no matter what comes.
The Russian soldier bids good by to his
family by throwing kiss at the dogs and
telling his wife and children to divide
their last crust with them, if necessary.
DIR. HOLLAND wants to know " Who
can tell what baby thinks?" Well, what
would DIR. Holland think himself if he
had to wear clothes a mile too long for
him, and have his back stuck SO full of
pins that there wasn't room on it for half
o square inch of prickly heat ?-Burling-
ton Hasck Eye.
The first thing q young man does ON
seeing friend with new hat ON is to
take it off and serenely try it on his own
head. When a young lady sees an &C
quaintance with her new bonnet on, she
just lifts her nose and screncly wonders
"wherc the thing got that fright. "-Cats.
XII IN. ~ Recorder.
THEY were out walking, enjoying the
cool and refreshing air. The bright moon
cast its rays over the lady, giving her al
most an angelic appearance, and impaired
to her flowing curls q still more golden
h,,n nno IF hor oOfk - h L. Aol
in his, and ever and anon she met his ar
denly change came over her features;
her full red lips trembled As if with sup
pressed signs the muscles of her faultless
mouth became convulsed; she gasped for
breath, and, snatching her hand from the
soft pressure of his, she turned away,
buried her face in her cambria handker-
chief, and-sneezcd.
A WASHINGTON letter writer says Is Miss
Waite. daughter of the Chief Justice, has
the rare faculty of being able to talk to
Oh, ignoramus! Did you never hear a
woman on moving day tell the tlraymen
how to carry the bureau downstairs,
scream instructions to the woman taking
up the carpets, yell at the boy packing the
china, tell the hired girl what to do with
the tinware and stove furniture, shrek her
husband into cold sweat for emptying
half busl,el of SCOT out of the stove pipe
on the parlor floor, sniff at the woman
across the street who wasn't going to move
and was looking ON, and sco1d seven chill
dren for nine different things, with one
and the same wag of her flexible tonguct
Rare faculty, indeed !-Bxrliagton Hasak.
Eve.