The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-09-06

ONE VI tl1G 1lOS& Oh AAluk Cu0k6NtCTlStlC
of woman is her cheerful perseverance in
looking under the bed for . man. No
man in his senses ever looks under the
bed for woman, but there arc millions
Of women in this country who would find
under which they had not previously
searched for a concealed man. Experi.
ence is lost upon them. The average un-
usually looked under the bed at least
$500 times, without ever once finding the
expected man. but she 10 not in the least
discouraged by so long acourse of failure;
and it would be easy to find women of
eighty or ninety years who will still night.
ly search for the man whom they have
never found.
Miss johnson, of Evanston, will here
after be famous as q woman whose long
perseverance has been signally rewarded.
1t would be indicate to inquire into her
precise age, had she not described herself
in recent affidavit as having been born
in the year 1884, and we may therefore
take it for granted that she is at least
fOrty-three years old. If we assume that
she began to look under the bed at the age
of fifteen, it follows that she has per.
formed that ceremony more than 10000
times. Until last Friday night she never
found the smallest fragment Of a man
under her bed, but on that eventful night
her perseverance, was rewarded, and the
long sought man greeted her ast0nished
gaze.
Miss johnson being an unmarried lady,
not wholly unconnected with the milli-
ner's trade, and full of womanly indie
pendence, resides entirely alone in asmall
house containing but three rUoms "a
kitchen, shop and bedroom. Dogs she
despises and cats she mistrusts, while as
for men, she regards them as poor Great
ures who may possibly have their uses in
time of drought, when water must be
carried from the creek, but who, as q rule,
make more trouble about house than
their necks arc worth. Holding these
views, it naturally follows that Miss John
son lives alone, and the cool bravery with
which she locks up her house ut night
and seeks her solitary couch, no matter
if q firstclass thunder storm is in prog
ress, has for wears been the admiration Of
the more timid of her SCI.
It was about eleven o'clock last Friday
night, when Miss johnson stopped down
and looked under her bed for possible
man, precisely as she had done on ten
thousand previous nights. Whether she
was, or was not, astonished at perceiving
q largc-sized man lying under the bed,
with the back of his head toward her, will
never be known, but, at any rate, she gave
no sign of astonishment, and did not even
inform the man that she saw him. On
the contrary, she resumed with great de-
liberation the nocturnal twisting of her
back hair, and even softly hummed
"HOld the Fort, :" with as much distinct
ness as could be expected of woman
while holding . comb between her teeth.
Her back hair being finally finished, she
opened her window, turned down the
lamp until it gave forth dim and modest
light, and then stepped gracefully into bed,
but mot to sleep.
That sagaci0us woman was perfectly
we'll aware that the man under Ne bed,
not suspecting that he had been diacOv-
cred, would creep forth with q view to
plumber ~ soon as he found that she was
asleep. The bedstead stood in the corner
of the foOm, and from the position Of the
man it was plain that he would creep out
at the side Of the bed. Miss johnson,
therefore, changed her usual manner Of
competing herself to rest, and lay, a. she
subsequently expressed it, "flat a. pam
cake" with her head projecting over the
side Of the bed ct the precise locality
where she expected the man to appear.
For Il least half an hour she lay perfectly
still, watching for the man with stealthy
vigilance that would have done credit to
an astute and experienced cat. Not mus
clio or . hairpin Of her frame moved, and
her breathing was % slow and regular ~
that Of profound sleeper. At length the
man, confident that abe was asleep, softly
began to worm himself from under the
bed. moving after the manner prescribed
by way Of penalty to the original serpent
Of the Garden Of Eden. Little did he
imagine that pair Of pitilsss gray eyes
were waiting for the appearance Of his
head, while . pair Of 1.-the and nervous
hands were ready TO pounce upon his ears.
It was not many minutes, however, before
each ear was suddenly caught in IN inex.
orable grasp, and his head began to oscil-
late with remarkable speed between the
floor and the edge Of the bedstead.
Won 1oltke himself cuuld mot have sur.
passed Miss JOhnson's tactics, She had
the man completely at her mercy, and he
was - helpless = though his head ware
IN the stocks. At first his captor main
tanned grim silence, but after she had
bumped him sufficiently toease her mind,
she addressed him upon the wickedness
and folly Of seeking TO rob her. In vain
did the man protest that his motives were