The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1877-12-20
WIT AND HUMOR.
MONS in arms-Twins.

A COFFIN is wanted for dying echo.
THE first ws-carrier-Noah's dove.
THE motto of lovers" E plural, bus,
yum yum"
! WHEN man has house lot on which
he cannot pay the taxes, he has site
| too much.
! WHY is dew like a falling star? One
is mist on earth, and the other missed
| from heaven.
Why is solar eclipse like a woman
whipping her boy2 Because it's a hid
ing of the sun.
CARE these soaps all one scent ?" in
quired lady of a juvenile salesman.
"No, ma'am; they are all 10 cents, " re-
piled the innocent youngster.
THOUSANDS more Frenchmen would
commit suicide, but just as they are
raaking ready for it they happen to hear
of a fies style of hat or a new way to
cook horsesteak, and so they live on
| Detroit Free Press.
"WHENEvER you're out of anything,
let tne know" said gentleman to a
Door Chinaman he bad been helping. A
few DAYS later the Chinaman sent him
~
Commercial AdUertiser.
| ADANBURY merchant has instructed
! his clerks to return after tea Saturday
evenings newly shayen and with white
necktie. A buttonho1e bouquet Is fur
nished each, and the effect is said to be
decided increase in the number OF GUS
toners.
A CINCINNATI business man was child
ing one of his travelling agents on ac-
count of his dissipated habits. "You
could get along with one-haf of what
you drink said the merchant. 81
know it" said the man, "but whom the
cid hic) Harry's going to drink the other
half ?"
SHE was dancing the Boston Dip"
and dipped SO low that her respected
mother-in-law interposed with protest,
between the sets. "You dance very
gracefully, my DEAR" she said, "but -
aud she paused. Yes, I've taken NY
dip-low-ma, you mean to say, don't
you"
The sea-otter is so deeply imbued with
the fear of man that all attempts to keep
it alive after its capture have failed, as
it perishes by self-imposed starvation
of man. Oh, woman woman how
deeply and strongly You do not remind
us of the sea-otter.
THERE is precocious 6-year-old boy
who is wonderful on spelling and defini-
ton. The other day his teacher told
him to spell matrimony." M-a-t-r-i-
m-o-n-y," said the youngster promptly.
Now define it." said the teacher.
"WeI," replied the boy, 81 don't ex-
actly know what it means, but know
mothers got enough Oft"
SHE stepped out of the cars few min
| utes. leaving book on the seat, but on
returning went to the wrong pew, and
| inquired of placid old lady: care
YOU sitting on 'That Husband of
Mine p" "Good gracious mol" ex-
claimed the old maid, jumping up and
scanning the seat with rigid scrutiny.
"CRAzY HORSE" an exchange says,
"was the possessor of thirty -four scalps,
not counting his own, and the Indians
considered him quite rich man. And
the cream of the thing is, this bloated
scalp-holder was the architect of his own
fortune. Every lock of nair he pos
sessed WAS of his own raising.
! THIS mundane sphere is a mighty un-
certain sort of place. The bitter and
the sweet go hand in hand, and you al
ways strike an up grade when you're IN
the biggest hurry. Wealth and happi-
ness seldom work together IN double
harness. A contented mind is better
than money in savings bank. The rat
can do carpenter work in the palace of a
King, and the jaws of the girago may
vibrate in castles of granite. A couch
of the lightest down may support a heart
heavy as homemade bread. So young
Dorfenberger thought the other day
when he read the marriage notice of the
girl he had intended to propose to this
winter. Cincinnati Breakfast Table.