The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-05-19
Naming the Baby.

Bluggins' wife recently presented him
with beautiful infant; all infants are
beautiful. Now Bluggins, you see, is
not at all original. Consequently, when
the baby was to be named, l, as an old
friend of the family, was invited to name
the baby.
Assembled at Bluggins' were his
mother-in-law, his wife's two sisters,
both young and pretty (but troubled, like
most young and pretty girls, with that
most serious of feminine complaints, a
tendency to giggle), and young Charlie
Milkins, who was rather sweet on the
elder sister, Miss Caroline. forgot to
state that Mrs. Bluggins was there also,
as well as the baby to be named.
After had been introduced all round,
giggled at by the girls, and stared at by
Charles, Blugglns took the floor, that is,
iguratively speaking, for he remained
seated all the time, and in a neat speech
announced that was to have the honor
of naming the baby.
l commenced with Mary. Mary is my
favorite female name, and was the name
of Bluggins' wife, and of his mother-in-
law.
The mother-in-law looked pleased.
The girls giggled, and Charles stared.
Bluggins looked at his wife, who shook
her head.
TRY again, old fellow, said Bluggins,
consolingly. a
l had been reading Frances Burney's
works some time before, and l fired off
Camilla, Evelina, and Cecilia in quick
succession, and with no better effect than
before.
Try Shakespeare" said Bluggins.
l did. commenced, and for half
an hour ratified off Juliet, Rosalind, Gle
opatra, Ophelia, Desdemona, Portia,
Imogen, Titania, and l stopped for want
of breath. ....
noticed peculiar look in Mrs. Blug-
gins eye, I heard the girls giggle, saw
Charles stare, and heard the mother-in-
law "Ahem"
Come into the garden, Maud" muir
INJURED Charles, who was, l afterward
learned, quite a wit.
l acted on his hint.
Lily, Rose, Violet, Daisy, Blossom,
Althea-here the baby interfered by Civ
ing US a specimen of its lung power.
Said Charlie, the wit: "As we are
among the flowers, why not call it
CrOcuS"
Observe the effect. Both girls laughed,
laughed-actually forgot to giggle. The
mother-in-law looked severe, and Blug-
gins muttered something about being
TOO fresh"
/ started again. This time with Wal
ter Scott, Di Vernon, Helen MacGregor,
Lucy Bertram; then to Dickens, Rose
Maybe, Florence Dombey, Dolly Warden,
and had started on Nancy Skies when
| saw the mother-in-iaws eyes fixed upon
me, and changed it to Nancy Bell.
None were suitable. So said Mrs.
Bluggins. began to grow uncomforta-
BILE. What was to be done? had per-
spired until my handkerchief was as wet
as dish-cloth. Tracked my brains, what
little | had left, and away l went with
Grace Greenwood, Jennie June, Fannie
Fern, Marie Edgeworth and Harriet
Beecher Stowe.
No. No.
was in a terrible state. l dripped
like an umbrella that had been out in a
heavy rain.
chose the stage, and urged on my
wild career with Agnes Booth, following
it up with Fanny Davenport, Rose
Eytinge, Charlotte Cushman, Anna Dick.
inson-
Alice Oates" said Charlie.
/ frowned upon the impairment young
man, but, as afterward learned, he was
an interviewer for a newspaper, and
frowning did him no more harm than
shooting putty balls at an elephant.
1continued in my mad flight, and gave
them Clara Morris, Sara Jewett. Just
here the baby treated US to spontane
Gus ebullition of noise. The girls gig
gled. Bluggins kindly offered me glas:
of water, which | drank with feeling
and then on to glory with AIDE laide Phil
I lips, Parepa Rosa Carlotta Patti, Jenny
Lind--and tainted, and fell prone upor
the floor
Somebody dashed some water in my
face, and | revived enough to utter the
word Annette-and swooned again.
When l came to | was on the sofa
surrounded by the whole family.
gazed around with blank expression
and asked:
"Have you chosen a name?" in hol
low voice.
g Yes, said all in one voice.
"What is it?" said |, family.
Mrs. B. looked at B. The mother-in
law eoughed Both girls giggled. Charlie
stared. Bluggins struck an attitude, ant
said in tragic tones:
/" We have decided to call the baby
John"
once more became unconscious, -
! Puck. ..