The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1877-09-20
An Unpatented Remedy.
TAnna Linwood.l

TAnna Linwood.l
Johns health was really very poor
but he had, am sorry to say, unlimited
faith in doctors and quack medicines
| According to his theory, there is a
, remedy for every evil which flesh is he'll
: to; so that people really need not die,
, and if it were not for the obstinacy OF
human beings in refusing to take the
J nauseating drugs, cemeteries would soon
! be tenantless; instead, the ground might
be used for factories and dwelling
houses.
: There is nothing like the faith some
J men, especially feeble ones, have in
J medicine. If there was half as much
real belief in the authenticity of the
) Scriptures as there is in quackery,
, skepticism would soon vanish from the
land.
} l have known John to leave unread
the telegraphic dispatches and city
gossip, in our morning paper, and to
turn first to the advertisements of this
medicine and that, carefully dwelling
on descriptions of symptoms of diseases,
and comparing them with his own.
Affairs were really growing serious. A
long shelf in the cellar was devoted to
empty bottles; pill-boxes were in every
drawer of the bureau; advertisements of
medicines were pinned to every ayaila-
BILE space on the walls of the bedroom,
together with testimonials of astonishing
cures.
Meantime Johns health was rapidly
failing. Of late the liver has been his
hobby, and DR.. AS pills his special
remedy.
The worst of it is, if l am little ill,
John stands over me with his dreadful
box of medicine.
"a clear case of diseased liver" says
that monomaniac. "Ell just read the
symptoms: Liver Complaints, Bilious
Disorders, etc., arise from torpidity and
congestion or liberation of the liver.
Either of these arrangements in the office
of the liver causes dark, greasy, yell
low skin; yellowish eyes; brown, some
times whitish coat to the tongue-pim-
s-blotches-'
"Dear mep' l cried, in some wrath,
interrupting him; Pm no such fright
as all that. Dark, greasy, yellow skin,
indeed! / will try little dieting and
rest; / shall soon be better"
60 tell you," said John, "you need
thorough treatment" He read, "The
liver might soon become congested, or
liberated, or enlarged, or ensmalled
l do not remember which, for you see
have not bit of Johns faith in the
miraculous power of these remedies.
"John," said, impatiently interrupt
ing him; "does that insane old doctor
pay you salary for all this waste of
breath? Now at home, before married
you, / never heard of such thing as
these dreadful doses, and we were all
well enough. remember once in clean
ing the closet we broke the bottle of
camphor, and mother said it would be
heathenish to be without something of
the kind in case of faintness. Father, /
know, sent me down cellar for suitable
bottle, and all could find was one that
once had ink in it, and another half full
of varnish so, rather than go to the ex-
pense of camphor. bottle and all, we
went without the whole, and no one
tainted, either. 1 tell you, John," l
said, getting earnest, it is better to die
with the disease that the Lord sends
than with the poison the doctors put up
for u.s."
"But Just see how accurately Dr. A.
describes your case: An absorption
of bile into the blood, giving the skin
and eyes a yellowish or greenish
hue"
"Pll not hear another word" 1 said
angrily; a know Pm not such very
go0d-looking woman, but when it comes |
to insinuating that have regular snakes |
'eyes-that's too much. OF course the
old doctors advertise their wares-that's
the way they get rich--it is out of the
credulity of other people. l wish the
whole of them were in the lunatic asy-
Ium. My sympathies are all with poor
deluded humanity. l pity the victims
of the quacks from the bottom of my |
heart"
L had spoken to John warmly; knew |
| had touched MIN on sensitive point. |
File was little angry, but laughed and |
said that, although my liver might have
been little torpid, it was rapidly re-
suming a healthy action under the ex-
citement of our talk
Our controversy had the usual effect;
thatof strengthening each his previous
belief.
That night John could not sleep; 1
knew he was thinking of his liver. About |
midnight he went to the bureau-drawer,
in the dark, fumbling over my laces and
collars, swallowed something, came back,
and was soon in profound slumber.
Next morning he said to me-:
"My dear,"-he called me that yet, in
spite of our quarrel the night before
"my dear, you cannot say but that medi-
cine did me good last night. Ihad such
an oppressive feeling in the chest--such
difficulty of breathing; but / took just
one pill, and it relieved me instantly
The eject was fairly magical"
l wisely said nothing.
On getting up, saw the familiar pill
box lying on the top of the bureau. The
cover was off. One glance filled me with
CONSERVATION; the next moment | was
ready to shrek with laughter.
John had gone to the wrong drawer.
We had so many pill-boxes around, that l
had used an empty one, filling it with dis
abled shoe-buttons, mostly those that
had lost their eyes and could not be of
further service. You see am of saw
ing turn, and wish nothing wasted.
"John," said, did you experience
instant relief last night?'
"Indeed did; should not have slept
a moment if 1 had not taken that pill.
You see, my liver was almost congested,
as it were---such pressure of bile"
But cut his speech short by present
ing to him the pill-box, and showing him
its contents.
That pill has done permanent good.
John is trying my favorite remedies
now; a simple diet, fresh air and exer-
else. He is really growing stout.
D ., o1o,,4 |