Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1877-12-21
NO. 80.
lluiilOr.

An Illinois farmer boy, who has tried
1t, says, "lt is hard work to ride pig,
its name is SO short,
Now is the time for the inventors ot
snow -plows to seek cut railroad men
and talk them to death
In one sense kentucky is celebrated
tor its short horns, hut III anothor she
isn't,
Duty before pleasure, is tho Gus
tom-housc officer said when he lighted
upon some smuyglcd tobacco,
4 philosopher who went to Il church
where the people camo i'll late said il
was the fashion there for nobody 10 90
TIL everybody got there
Mamma, said little four-ycar old,
after waiting patiently for her mother
to be at leisure, "will YOU hc unbusy
soonY
One thousand dollar counterfeit bills
are once moro III circulation. BE sure
you do not put amy i'll the contribution
boxes.
\ Kentucky innkcepcr offers To on.
tertain clipping couples ut half price.
liz can afford 70, provided the two have
been made one,
Some sourod bachelor says; "lIcayeu
III its mcrciMl providence gavono beard
to woman because ho we'll know they
could not hold their tongues long enough
To hc shaved"
When is the hest time to pick apples "
This Is n Very Simple question The
best time tur such work is when tho
farmer is not looking and there is no
hig dog IN the orchard
The worst thing thNt any hatcr OF
mankind can wish 10 an enemy, il to
hopo that he'll ~ to church somc very
cold and windy Sunday, without n
pocket handkerchief
\ schuolhoy, asked todciino the word
matrimony, said he didn't exactly know
its meaning, but he knew his father
wns tired Of t..
Tho Chicago lorunal knows II thing
or two. II says When man imag.
ines TINT he ~ Il prophet and II philoso-
phcr he takes 70 long hair and II dirty
oVcrcoat.
Young ladies in Rome, n. y, will
petition Congress to- pass an enabling
act to enable the old folks to 90 to bed
" nine o'clock Sunday evening.
AT u Sunday-sehool, teacher asked
y little boy if he knew what the express
sion sowing tnlos meant "Courth
! do, said he, pulling n part of his
trowsers around in front; thcro is a
taro my ma scwed up; tared il sliding
down hill "
What did you get y asked u wife Of
her husband, on his return home
from II hunting excursion of several
days duration got back = he sen.
tentiously replied
A maiden lady said to her little
nephew: Now, Johnny, you go to bed
early, and always do SO, and you will BIZ
rosy-cheeked and handsome when you
grow up" Johnny thought over thiBa
few minutes, and then Observed: "Well,
aunty, you must have sat up good
deal when you We're young.
An English musical journal says that
fifteen per cent. of the inmates Of luna
tic asyums are musicians and singers,
but il neglccts to state how many Of the
remaining cighty-fve per cent. were
driven mad by the practcing Of the
former.
Conversation between All inquiring
stranger and u steamboat pilot; THAT
is Black Mountain Y Yes, sir; high.
est mountain above Lake George.
Any story or legend connected with
that mountain I" Lots Of ON. Two
lovers went up that mountain once and
never came back again Indeed
Why, what became of thcm?" Went
down ON the other side |"
Within the next few days if my acci
dent belals n man, and he il found 10
have II suspicious smelling bottle in his
pocket, give him the benefit of doubt.
lie may have been commissioned from
home 10 buy little cooking brandy"
for Christmas.