Litchfield enquirer., 1877-10-25
cLIPpiMcs.

cl,psiaos. 0T0 Il
 man born to tofconmaad isn't much di erent from one made to order.
 A letter found .its waylto ePeterboro.. :. N. H., although it was dirsoted thus."Pe- ter -Borer. pg(S s Are the professions full?" asks the Syracuse Stand0rd. Not very. but some of the professors sare.-----.---.-------------
 One of the buildings burned in Provi- dence Thursday night. was absolutely fireproof. .BAgg1AAgAkAEK 7
 The Cape God cooks put very deep fringes around their custard pies. Is this economy or style. a--s~-a~-sz- # It must have been doctor who philos- ophized; How poor are they who have no patience. sR Ss A#aSsa s The giving riches and honor to "a wacked man is like giving strong wine to him that hath fever. k In Paris, when they want to ssy that q woman is charmingly plump, they 'ob- serve that her corsets are well filled.
 Why in the world should not broker vary his business and break banks occa- sionally as well as individuals.
 - Thiers' death was the birth of a great rhetorician, one who declared that France was widowed of her nOblest son." .st t8a Gggs4aYf 48s4.. Napkin rings made of Russia leather are the latest. novelty on dining tables. Beefsteaks of American leather are not new.
 ''There is book called the Old Testa. ment. says Broyklyn paper. It is time this charge was investigated.-ROc leicester Cne0nscte. afe"T 'at-oT -evgar2 7r The flies held mass meetinS, says the Shelby Sentinel, in a down town saloon one afternoon last week, and adopted the following reaolu.tions; l.t ,5'j ';;'l'.;.;'' df7i r Gentlemen's hats, that last year brought $3 apiece, can now. be purchased for ~s$1 50; whereas it still costs a woman from $15 to 50 to go compara- lively bareheaded. l.. ..f-.s-.I ....
 The force of habit was illustrated in a Newark restaurant last week, when bar Der, who, got through eating,l arose from his chair, wiped his mouth on, the table, cloth, and then, in methodical tones, cried out, "Next !'-
 A clergyman in Washington being about to baptise child, asked the father. "What is your name?" "Thomas Mcguire sir. Well Thomas, do you spell your hume with big EG Or a little, g?9 'Id like it middling large, if you please. sir, !"
 Bob can you tell me why I'm like the moon when it is twenty-three days old ?" Bob couldn t tell, and the questioner ex- plained: Because I've passed my last quarter A small loan was advanced i'm. mediately.
 An Erie express train was late one day, and ansaA xious passenger went to the en- geneer, ,snd wanted toknow of him ifshe coulin't make up the time. Said the knight of the throttle: 'Look here, mis- ter. 1 had rather go into Hornellsville ten minutes late than to run this train to to- phet on time rre g The boy who won't cariicature his is school teacher on his slate is the same lad who scruples against asking for a second plate of ice-cream at his Sunday school festival. 4hCtO uCVOImWub sUuV OuS YUl4 ulLu sOOEus and our. photograph a ill be sent postpaid on receipt of one dollar.-CatskiU Recor- der.
 "Two and two never make more than four," said the public speaker. 'Yes they do." cried boy in thes audience. Perhaps our young friend will kindly tell us when two and two make more than four" blandly said the speaker; whereup- Hon the boy cried, YWhen they're side by side,. you old stupid-then they make Ntwenty-two, don't they ?"
 Two men were riding in the cars on the Danbury railway the other morning, when one asked the other if he had a pleasant place of residence.
 "Yes," was the reply; "we have seven nice large rooms over a store"
 'fOver a store? shouldn't think that wonld be quiet place."
 "Oh. it is quiet enough. The folks dont dvertise. Yl1 w -fgJ 5 " 9E
 "Ahl I ses," said his friend, in a. tone of relief.
 A horse thief was on t1iai at Waco Tex. as, the other day, when his wife, a mere child. with fearful eyes and blushinQ cheeks, took the stand and testified eshai her husband had bought the horse from a man she had never seen but once. and Eproduced the bill of sale. The jury burst into tears and acquitted him, and, locked in each others arms, the devoted couple left the court amid applause. Two hours later it was discovered that the wife had been schooled by one of the worst thieves in the prison, who had written tue bill of sale for her @wgAmx~ ~@ \ E. q The humanity Of the sNez Perces in their last battles seem to have been some thing remarkable for Indians, One said to wounded soldier, who lay helpless, expecting every minute to be scalped: "Me no kill you. You cant kill us. Me l no want to kill man who can't shoot. l Plenty man can shoot No use you try to shoot at me-" Another chef approach, cd wounded soldier at midnight and | said in broken English, 'sPoor boy, vou're too young to war, I no kill you. Then he put a blanket under his head t)and left him. General Miles in return iordered' all the wounded IndiansJ soe iBs cared for.
 \ PAIRING OFF.-William T. Coleman, oi San Francisco, was talking the ether day of his old partnes tEdVaFd Mott Robin. son. of New Bedfofd. whose penurious. ness was a matter of common talk.
 ''He was good fellow in the main, ' sad MT. Coleman, 'sbut he exceeded any man ever knew in ingenious expedienta for saving dollar. In those days was Democrot and he was Republican. One day he said, 'Colsmau,Y haveN your committee been after. .yop? sNs& yet, 1T replied. Well, mine have been after me. he said, sand they wanted me to subscribe $500, and I told them wonld.' 1Ilooked at him with absolute amazement. Then he added: Yes, I told them the Demo crats would expect $500 from :you,, and ] scas going toe el6dsr 1o4 e SoEmsnd you stick to that arrangement. It will be all the same to both parties. and it won't cost either of us cent. '"-EDIToR's DRAWER, m Harper's Magasine tor November.