The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1877-01-17
Grants New Years Callers.

men and diplomats had left the White |
House, and after the last of the private |
citizens had clasped the hand of the pres. |
ident aud departed, the door bell rang
sharply and a visitor pushed his way into |
the Blue room. The president was alone
in the apartment, and as he hastily locked |
the closet door of cup board and turned
around to meet the caller. his face showed
plainly that he regarded the visit as moth
ing more or less than an unwarrantable
Intrusion.
You do not recognize me-" said the
unbidden guest, advancing to the middle
of the room. Yet we ought to be tolera-
bly, we'll acquainted. Ipicked you up out
of the cutters of New York city Is years
ago and set you On your pins. | was able
to do you service, if | remember rightly,
Just before the surrender of Vicksburg.
/ followed you pretty closely through the
war, giving you friendly lift every now
and then. / happened around in 1868.
and. although you abused me for four
years after, called again in 1872. | have
been at your elbow ever since, and never
man have | treated more kindly, but
you have kept up the abuse You have
abused me outrageously, Mr.. Grant,
Who the devil are You?" asked Grant,
taking two or three unsteady steps toward
the speaker.
20, my name is Opportunity" said the
caller, ''and | will add that this is my last
call Good afternoon. Mister Grant. And
thereupOn he left the room, slamminng
The door with some show of indignation.
The president stood a moment in
thought, and then, with a muttered ex-
clamation, turned again to the sideboard.
put another caller had already entered
unannounced.
Here we are again, old FRIEND" said
the new conner, who held his head high
ana moved with iordly strut. "How's
your courage. Ulysses?"
You have the advantage of me- said
the president.
Don't know mel Why, now, this is
surprising. | have been your humble
servant ever since Elihu Washburne in
troduced u.s. Some folks have regarded
NE as your master, but | don't insist on
that point. Give me your hand, old fell
low; my name is Ambition. By the way,
who was that met at the door?'
ut was Opportunity" said the presi-
dent. HE has just gone out.
The deuce. you say!" exclaimed Am
bitIon; then you'll have to excuse me
I'm no account without him, | might
; stay and potter along with you for a while
but would only make fool of you
and waste my own time into the bargain
Good bye, Mister Grant,
And Ambition, with a hurried bow
walked oriskly out Of the White House
and fastened to catch up with Oppor
o tunity.
e The Blue room had now become very blu
z to the president, and he once more lad re
course to the sideboard. The next Gale
was melancholy chap whose chin presse
his breast, and whose eyes wandere
e gloomily about Al first the preSideu
is paid no attention to his presence, but h
"a had a way of making that presence felt
e MIR. President" said he mourntully
n not Belknap, and Babcock, and Orvl
re this glad season with ycu?'
lie Don't speak Of them" said the pres
" dent THE subject is not pleasant"
t. There are many other things | wis
)r to speak about on this happy occasion,
lie returned the caller, with dismuI groal
~ by the way, how is poor Custer?"
"Sir!" exclaimed the president, " tn
is impertinent Who are you?"
You ought to know me if you cont.
o am Remorse. There is a good deal
u wanted to say. and would say to anoth
IS. man, but see Indifference coming, and
Il. will make way tor him Mr. Presider
allow me once more TO wish you a hap
IS new year"
On Indifference, who entered as Remor
es staiked out. vas a stoiid, hardteatur
fellow, not unlike the president himse
He said nothing, but beckoned Grant
the Sideb1ard, where they drank c0niusi
OF ~ the past in many Jumpers. At leue
pg this last aud most welcGm OF all the pr,
g dents New Year 5 callers dropped
cit glass on the floor aud rushed out Of /
oi room rs ii in great alarm. The preside
" turned dlzzily around to see wha: was t
matter. There entered at that momeut
guest with a trightfui vizage, every mus
~ of whose face told Of agony and whose eJ
spoke horror, The president started ba
ion and easped:
ur- You are"
o. Il see you know me" said the call
ra- with ghastly leer. In administrat
places ! pass as Neuralgia OF the Bra
Let 1t 60 at that,
And you haye come"
he "Yes. Mr. President" replied the
Us partition. Let there be 10 ceremony
ed. tween US. | have come to stay"
1ut And | have brought my family"
added. as be opened the door and let il
swarming troop of distorted images a
hideous, grinning little devils, all OF win
'eI echoed the words:
his We have come to stay. ~ Y S