The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-03-03
THE HAUNTED MAN.

In whisper, mind--in the gcntlcst,
the most sighing of whispers-I tell you
this. In fear and trembling, too, all the
time, for ii might hear me.
You observe, I say it; for l cannot
apply actual distinction to the weird lit
tie entity that torments me. AT the same
time, though, find that I have often
called it him, and, in a misty, wander
ing way, associated the thing with the
tricksy-looking spritc who stands with
his hands upon his hips in the Land
seer picture of "Midsummer Nights
Dream"
The fact is, have been haunted for
the past five yoars-I, the simple-mind-
ed, calmly-living, scvcnth-ratc literary
man who pens these lines; and my inno-
cent bachelor life has been made tor
ment to me by something, of which, as
you see, only dare speak In a whisper.
You are shaking your head! Don't
say YOU nre not, for can feel it men,
tally; and my perceptions are now those
Of the most acute. Let me hasten, then,
to rcassure you-to enlighten you upon
the point you are quietly discussing.
No; there has not been the slightest
manifestation of insanity in my family.
Again: my pulse gives with calm reg
ularity the proper number ofbcats TO the
minute.
My blood i, of the normal tcmpera-
iurc.
1t Is not incipient delirium tremens,
for was never inebriated but once in
my life, and then was so dreadfully i'll
the next day that made vow, which
have rcligiously kept, and am always
considered an abstemious man.
So, once more, in n calm whisper, |
declare to you that am haunted-be-
Observation-Disclosures in
some way suffering from a spell. In
fact, there must be something i'll the mat.
ter not hitherto dreamed of in my phil
osophy, and tremblc lost i'll should
come OF ii.
But let me eXplain-let he give you Il
sample of the kind of annoyance to
which am subjected, and during which
1t always seems to me that can hear the
silvery tinkle of very small kind oi
laughter floating about the room.
1t was only yesterday that l required
my daily remembranccr-the diary in
which l record the trifes ofmy life, ant
note my engagements. 1t was gone.
Ai"e DooA AiCo Vi III otuuy taDicj ant
l was put out by its loss. searched
bookcase, drawers, in folios, among pa
pers, turned out my desk, got into vi
olent perspiration, went and bullied the
servant, rose into towering rage; ant
at last, quito exhausted, and fumine
with annoyance, threw myself into my
chair-and found that diary!
Where did l find it?
I'll tell you; that little book lay in it.
usual place upon the study table.
Now, you may argue for week, ant
you will not be able to convince IN,
that some sprite had not hidden tina
book away until it was tired of laugh
ing at me, when the book was replaced
Another specimen.
have custom, drilled into inc il
childhood, of carefully folding m,
clothes before retiring to rest. / Ineve
kick one thing here and another there
after the habitude Of the reckless, bu
place each garment ready to be donne,
In the morning. Now, am ready t,
make affidavit that those things are al
right at night; but when have left ris
ing till the last moment, just leayin.
myself time to dress and catch the trail
by which am going with friend
there Is invariably something wrong
Now 1t Is q button off my trousers. II
get them ON, and find them all right, iii
tongue Is gone from my brace buckle
Or 1t may be stud dropped from m
shirt; the button-hole split of'my collar
n, more likely, button grown over
ripe and ready to drop, swinging onl
by one thread from the most prominen
portion of my coat
This particularly about folding m
clothes at night extends to garment
that do not wear every day--dres
coat, for instance, left in the drawe
during tour or shooting expedition.
Now, IL won. leave those garment
alone; and whenever take them OF
!. after absence, they invariably look as
! they had been used for the raising (
: money, and suffered from the paw
brokers' roll, SO evident too often In ii
r British workman's Sunday coat, whic
1 Is creased from top 10 bottom.
There is another way in which | N
! terribly annoyed. Being regular 'b,
il man-of course, don't mean driy,
5 or conductor, but traveller by omn
y bus-from motives of economy, ha,
N noticed the nuisance that the fair sex
. e5peciuiiy tne lut ialr sex, Wnlcn now
q travels without large bundle, whit
a they plant on somebody's knee when e.
tering-is to conductor, driver and ft
\, low passengers, by keeping the vehic
- waiting willie MONEY is dislodged fro
u pocket somewhere in the region
iolds, or from the corner of a handke
Z chief, In which II is tightly tied In
knot which won't come undone; whi
one lady always produces her cash W
--out of her mouth. have noticed q
this, 1 say, and In consequences Iproyis
myself with threepenny, fourponn
or sixpence, and place Il IN my wais
coat pocket ready for alighting and pa
a. ing without requiring change. DO "
think that can find that coin when
require it? IL you do, you are mista
on, grope for il with my glove on; /;