The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-07-26
SENSE M NoNsE7CE

sEssr p kossE1SA :
s. '!yDa d. 1.STnlrs3'maAes''s;:'
-Jusr the place for ola maids The iasve
Man.
BLAcK.sTRAw bonnets are still the most
fashionable.
EXTRACT from q letter in q recent
breach of promise case: my Ownest
own."
TAKE caro- how Won eat, what you est,
and how much. The hot weather is get
ting every uanaeady fora cholera victim.
Hoor hsr up. Reports from. thirty
towns in the United States state that the
barrel crop is heading finely.-Erie Dis
patch. -
II DIDN'T say I understood her. l
wouldn't have the presumption to say that
of any woman" says Dolly Varden's ia
ther, in Barnaby Rudge.
OTTOMANs neatly covered with Brussels
carpet are sold in New York for half-a-
dollar-about as low down in price as they
are apt to get on this fOotstOol.
els THAT your offspring, madame
asked Missouri Judge of a woman who
had hold Of q snub-nosed boys hand.
"No, sir" she replied, this is my Oldest
boy"
THE difficulty, boys, is to get the first
hundred dollars in the savings bank-Er.
And the next great difficulty is to get it
out-of New York savings banks.-St.
Louie Times. 9.
A NEW ENGLAND philosopher says he
can't find out where the air leaves offand
the earth begins. Let him fall backward
from feuce and he'll soon find Out.-De-
troit Free Press. a.-.
"JoHNNY, have you learned anything
during the week" asked father of
five-year-c old pupil. "Yeth'm." swell,
what is it," Never to lead small
trump when you hold both bowers"
In Pennsylvania Sheriff is paid fif-
teen dollars for hanging man, but times
are so duh this summer that it takes y
mighty smart Sheriff 10 make more than
$50 week. -Burlington Hasck- Eye.
STRAws swim upon the surface, but
pearls lie at the bottom. Snowy parts
strike every common eye, but solid ones
are only to be discovered by the most &C.
curate observers of the human head and
human heart.
DEAF and dumb people enjoy practi-
cling on the cornet. They get all the adj.
vantage Of blowing, and the pleasure of a
distorted face under full pressure, without
being obliged to hear the music:-Neso
Orleans l'icuyune.
ANOTHER day has come and gone, leav-
ing us all older and wiser. but as yet no
communications have been received indi-
eating that anyone has discovered q man
who can drink out of spring without
getting the end of his nose wet.-Fulton
Times.
THE Mayor of Chattanooga having ne.
Gently advertised for three new dog catch:
ers to perambulate that city, $50 applica.
tions were put in on one day, compelling
the functionary to hang up on his uoor the
traditional card, mo vacancies In this
department"
ANIMALS may think, but sometimes they
do not think very fast. A COW got into d
James-strcct garden Friday, and it took
her half an hour to make up her mind
where to go out: A man and dog were
flooding her mind with information all
the time, too.-Rt.ne IN. ~ Sentinel.
A LITTLE Greeley (Col.) girl who was
picking peasc had gathered eight gallons
during one forenoon. She says of a girl
thirteen years old: "She cried for half
an hour because l had picked a gallon
more than she, and while she was crv-
ing l picked another gallon" Such il
life.
Or the many amusing blunders of print.
crs and proof readers, one of the most
striking occurs in volume of Laws of Yer.
mont for 1875. Act No. 25 amends Sec
ton 78-iDstead of %, which was pr0ba-
bly, intended-sO that hereafter no person
is to be allowed to run a locomotive through
a saw-mill.
NOTHING so thoroughly pleases man
who has learned that a collection is to he
taken in his church on Sunday morning,
and who has cOnse quently been unable to
be present on account of q severe pain in
his back, as to attend the evening service
and hear the clergyman announce that
as many who desired to give were not
present at the morning collection, it will
how be repeated. "-Norwich Bulletin.
A PRESBYTERIAN minister recently de-
livered lecture OH Congregational
Psalmody," in which he referred to the
incongruities that occur In present d.
visions of repetition lines. For instance:
Love Thee better than BEFORE" was d.
vided, Love Thee bet; "We'll catch
The flecting hour" was sung, "We'll catch
the flee y" My poor polluted heart be-
came "my poor pol - And take Thy
pilgrim home" "And take Thy pill !"
i" Aud in the pious He delights'' became
!" And in the pi-; :" and Send down saliva
ton from on high" became 4" Send down
SAL" A .prano in one case sang, "Oh,
for man." and the chorus responded,
"Oh. for mansion in the SKIES" In one
case the soprano modestly sang, "Teach
me TO kiss" while the bass rendered it
quite prcsaic by sing ng, "Teach me to
kiss the rod. ''-Chicago Tribune.
THE Troy Northern Budget is the re.
sponsiblc nalrat of this anecdote: On
Friday German, somewhat intoxicated,
boarded the Hudson River train at Kim
derhOOk for the purpose of coming to this
city. He threw his satchel down in the
corner Of the Car, took seat, and was
soon in the arms of Morpheus. On
awaking he alleged that he had left his
baggage at Kindcrhook, and asked the
boy employed on tho train what he should
do to recover it. The latter, who had
seen the German place his satchel in the
corner, replied, You give me thirty cents
and Ill telegraph TO Undertook to have
the depot master forward it bv telegraph
to Greenbush. 1t will reach there Before
we do" The German paid the thirty
cents, gave q. minute description of the
missing property, and the boy departed,
taking the satchel into another car. On
reaching Greenbush the boy returned with
the bag, and placing it in the Germans
hands, said, "Thcre's the first satchol l
ever see come by telegraph 'Ah,' re-
piled the German, dot delegraff is yum
great dings; here dake anoder quarter,
mein poy.' And the boy did,"
Extraordinary Good Fortune Of . Pow.
erty.Stricken Miner.