The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1877-04-30
MAY MOVING.


IT'S PoETEY AND RoMANcE-supTuRED AND
CRIPPLED HOUSEHOLD GoDs-THE BOON OF
SINGLE BLEssgDNEss ABOUT THIS TIME
With that regularity for which 1t has long been
notorious the First of May around the year al
about the same time AS usual For centuries IL has
thus around, II human speculation is to be
trusted it win continue on indefinitely sad as the
may be to the owners OF mirrors, Faence and
furniture 1t Is nevertheless true years yet unborn
will see destruction vaster and moro complete tnan
has yet BEEN
The searching light OF science has been thrown upon
many vexed social problems OF late, and satisfactory
solutions have been arrived at 1t is explained
why there never was curly -neadcd Quaker. and the
reasons why corrosive sublimate creates insanity IN
ants have been collected and printed In
a Gfly page pamphlet; has dis
covered that mans moral only
secretion OF sugar. but tho mystery of tho ruckmans
dcsiructiveness rs still unexplained recent maya
writer that unless Providence stays the dew
astatng touch OF tho truckman, the American citizen
will be driven into aboriginal condition. The festive
potato bug may ravase lair plains OF the West, the
Chinese question may ''settle ITSELF" tho Sioux may
be modified into the condition OF Lebanon Shakers
and still America viii remain great nation But when
the wswam usurps tho place OF the brown stone
front-as the writer assures us IL will-then American
civilization Will have proved failure. The City
Fathers, recognizing the Imminent probability Of
full ment oil this dread prophecy, sought TO ad
minister prophyiaclic, IN the shape Of bill not
pill Their antidoLe may prove u poison, and, like
most other ordinances, this last VIII work
effect opposed TO that intended Unable TO forestall
accidents to piano legs and fractures OF mirrors and
pottery, they thought ~ make virtual compensation
Tor them by reducing the Ice Of that enemy OF civili
zaton, the truckman
SOPHISTICATED POLICY.
What a superficial view OF human nature the City
Fathers take when they endcavor thus to establish
law OF compensation between the truckmcn and tho
migrating tenant "Human nature the all
men, philosopher has SAID las the fact has been
known long time been ancient phil
osopherl, and II might be added that there is much
more 'human nature" In hack and truck men than In
any other class OF the genus WHAT
raj TO the hackman, with whom hard bargain has
been DRIVEN than ride his passenger all tho
rough spots in tho road and through the most unpic-
turesQue streets TO his destination? And to continue
the interrUgatory style, What more natural 10 the
truckman who can't get what no wants out
turey II any one finds that tho truckmen deal
less gently with his tomorrow, let hm search
Tor the cause In tho following schedule OF prices set
forth IN the ordinance NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. removing
household furniture one mile, 90 cents per load tor
tiona mile, one third OF the charge for removing may
be added. Tho total charge Tor mile IS 81 So;
two miles, 81 II; three miles, 81 As; Jour miles,
So 10"
uNpoETICAL SINGLE BLEssRpNgss.
Tho bachelor who, in metaphor, travels around with
paper collar and IS unembarrassed with any domes-
tic appointments such as beds, kitchen ranges aud
carpets may imagine that fractures breaks all
at this season OF profanity and excitement
II SO, he does injustice TO the facts The
mo may call nd ns feelings S
did not Ut, or when his shirt little Imp
from the laundry but his ttlo soul has never known
tho grand evaporation consequent upon tho discovery
| that the old carpet would not 1T The parlor.
Never has his soul poised in expectation while truck
grasped the only looking glass he owned and placed
on truck, preparatory to deposit,ng sdcboard or
stove upon IT, lie has never known the pleasant ex-
cement that thrills the poor husband who cndeavors
to put up stove and spends prayerfu hours fitting
puzzle is but bagates with this feat
yet patience and want OF warmth have been known
make It successful Enough Of the Joys Of the day APP
preciated by men alone.
An HOSPITAL or HOUSEHOLD GODS
Who but herself can explain or appreciate the feel
ings Of the wife? She sits her down In the castle
when the carlman has lett In the midst Of She
has lett her homo and come to dwell in an hospital for
rupturcd and crippled Lares ana Penates A most
scientific amputaton has been performed upon the
dcrstanding oil tho piano. one OF the drawers OF the
with OF the things hall the picture glasses are
broken and she dare open the basket containing
the crockerv, Tor the truckman deposed' IL on tho
sidewalk from the wagon and she heard the dishes
monstrate. She VOWS In silence that her daughter
shall never be given to . man who does not own
house. and she will teach her that honest man
first duty Is TO buy house and that alter that
| Is allowable.
to make any allusion to what happy time May Day
would be- II Is perhaps better to pass tho topic by
win tho regret tnat CIVILIZATION 10 gradually wearing
oil the poetry and romance Of lie, and n hopo that
the May pole may yet reclaim place usurped by
the stovcpipe.
THE rRucKMAN TO MS MOTHER
You must wake aud call early. call early mother
Tomorow be the happest time OF al the GLAD now year
OF all the glad year. mother. the maddes meriest
day.
For I'm king Of sprngless truck, mother and tomorows
the first OF May
They've cut the rates OF truck hire down. Pshaw
never be.
If the big pier glass gets cracked that
toner
They II call cruehearted what they say
Unless the pay price, mother they'll the first or
May