The star of Pascagoula. [volume] (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1873-1878, 1877-09-14
A JOKE ON A BRIDEGROOM.
Two Members of One Family Must Not
Draw Pay from Uncle Sam.

"'hhh suH ENUU
Draw Pay from Uncle Sam,
Speaking of the clerkesses, it is well to
say that IL blessed p"aternal govern.
ment does not encourage matrimonv,
Al c0ntrdtre, it does quietly impede and
discourage them for it is one of the
rules, and as the constitution of the debat.
ing society expresses it, the regulations.
that if a clerk of a department takes unto
himself a cIerkess as wife one or the other
Will be Immediately removed, as two of
a family may not draw pay in an humble
capacity from II blessed government.
This rule gave rise to a rather unpleasant
and somewhat amusing incident not
long since. There was a clerk of a sus.
ceptible heart hid away under a some
what burly persona clerk known to the
state of OhiO-who fell desperately in
love with a little clerkess, who not only
tolled in the same department with him.
self, but messed and roomed in the same
clearinghouse. The clerk-the able.
bodied clerk-made known his passion to
the little blonde, and, to his delight
found the tenderness reciprocated. They
were engaged, but alas could not marry,
as that would cause the dismissal of one
or the other, and this the poor pen
driving doves could not afford. Now,
one cannot go on sparkling forever, for. as
they spanked, their love grew more in.
tense. At last it was determined by the
two that they would circumvent old
Uncle Samuel-the mean, penurious,
unloving old scoundrel--by a secret mar,
riage. To this end, amid the merry
hours OF the Christmas and New Years
holiday, they stole away and were secret.
ly married in a neighboring city. They
returned the same day, and, naturally
enough, the young wife fingered unknown
to the clearinghouse in the room of her
newly-made husband. Unfortunately the
other clerks of the mess were on a spree
that night, and as the lately-made hus-
band haG been on these occasions some
what of a leader and a very amusing
fellow, his absence was noted on. Well
on to the small hours, when the liouor
told most, there was a demand, a hois-
ferrous demand, made for the absentee.
They wanted his famous recitations of
"The Menagerie," " You Shouldn't Eat
on a Friday" "The Gent Who
Saw Pleasure in his Own Room" The
Salt Sea, Crab" and other punning songs
of a like sort. A delegation sought his
room, and returning said it was locked
on the inside, and no pounding produced
any result, save orders to go away and
let the incumbent sleep in peace. A
cunning gentleman said that he could
not get into the rooms through a door
Dolted and locked from the outside of the
'oom of the comic but absent gentleman.
The entire crowd sought that door. 1t
vas unb0lted and unlocked-then thrust
,pen, upsetting, in so doing, a washstand.
t was arranged that after gaining access
he gas should be lit, the bed pulled ont
md a war dance executed around the
'oor helpless clerk. This was done-at
1t was in process of being done. p:
he gas was lit, the old couch pulled !
and the wild dance began amid the !
indignant protest of the disturbed gentle
IAN, when one of the number discovered
he outline of ansther form in the bed,
nd with intoxicating mischief pulled
own the clothes. This was followed i
rst by screams, any one of which would Il
ave made-Ohl Oh Howard run ten /
lilies. After that came a general engage 1
tent, in which a boetjack was found to 4
e a most efficient and telling piece of D
xed ammunition in the hands of a steut /,
nd angry clerk just married. Of course 81
lere was nothing to do but gather in the a
Itonished and somewhat bloody.headed d
erks in the adjoining room and exhibit a
Ie documentary proofs of matrimony. b
hen the clerks, good fellows all, after tt
thing their broken heads and washing in
cir bloody noses, swore never to reveal, m
word, sign, or writing, what they had 81
itnessed or what they knew. And they Ia
pit their word. | only was admitted Ar
the secret, and you see / reveal no Ca
mes, for | consider it good morality ar
d therefore ones duty to circumvent ar
lcle Samuel in this way, and in DC
juggling whenever n gets a chance. hs
Don Ptatfs Letter to the Cincinnati dr.