The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1877-11-17
NUMBER 5.
PASSING SMILES.

He that does base thing in zeal TO-
his friend burns the golden thread that
ties their hearts together.-Jcreaay Idy-
Tor
New ORLEANS Picdyune: 1t is inn
possible TO keep up going on a lark at
night and rising with the lark in the
morning.
PHILADELPHIA Bulletin: This regu-
lar fall business of the girls in gather
ing leaves was started originally, we be
lieve, by Eve.
LIVE ON what you have; live If you
can on less; do not borrow either for
vanity or pleasure; the vanity will end
in shame and the pleasure in regret.
"a MAN who will maliciously set fire
to a shed,n said Mr. Slow, "and burn up
twenty cows, ought to be kicked to death
by donkey, and I'd like to do it my
self" Slow is very severe sometimes.
A YOUNG man who las gone West
and turned poet, contributes the fol-
lowing: =
| The sun In the gorgeous East chaseth the night
When he riseth refreshed In his glory and might
But where does he go when he sccketh bis rest2
oh, doth he not haste TO the beautiful West?
OF. LOUIS JUUfWUts lut dftIaSS tct
egraph editor is wearing out the knees
of his pants praying that there won't DO
a war in Afghanistan Kelatkekekhan-
latofetokekhan is the nume Of ono of
the native generals, and IL that doesn't
lay the Bulgarian atrocities in the shade
may we be everlastingly hornswoggled.
PHILADELPHIA Bulletin: Rattlebone's
youngest boy is a genius. The other day
he learned TO whistle, and in the even
ing, just before tumbling into bed, he
puckered up his little mouth and began
to whistle in slow measured manner.
"Why, my little son, what are you do
ing?" asked his mother. "Why, ma,
Pm whistling my prayers"
THE method of the Quaker in dealing
with the atheist is good one. Said the
latter: "Did you ever see God p mo"
"Did you ever feel GodT mo"
"Did you ever smell God? 2" "No."
"Do you believe that there is any Godw
The Quaker then asked the infidel:
"Friend, did thee ever see thy brains"
"No." Did thee ever smell thy
brainsY "No." "Do thee think thee
has any brainsW
Eyes watery aud streaming;
Coughing In u shattered way;
Poor red, and poor cheeks gruy;
Now voceess and now screaming.
Pains and aches In every limb;
Poor features sadly puffy,
Hearing gone, and o5esight dim;
Sad, detected, solemn, grim;
Head heavy, hot, and stuiiy.
To feel all this, and then BIO told,
"My dear, you've only got a cold"
MAYOR ELY of New York, was pres
ent at dinner party the other evening.
He had the honor to take the hostess in
to dinner. 81 don't know, Mr.. Mayor"
said the lady, whether you are at all
afraid of the measles, but my little
children have them, and have slight
attack" The mayor rose to the occa-
sion. Madame he said 81 should
be only too delighted to take anything
from so charming a source
ONCE when John p. Kemble played
"Hamlet" at a country theatre, the
person who played Guiidenstern" was,
or imagined himself to be, a great mu-
stefan. During the performance, Ham
let" asked him, "Will you play upon
this pipe?" "My Lord l canrot. Be-
lieve me, l cannot" 81 do beseech
you." On this the man sail, We'll, If
your lordship insist upon IL, shall do
as well as can" and to the confusion
of Kemble and the amusement of the
audience, he began to play God save
the King
ssMoTHER, mother" cried young
rock, returning hurriedly from its flrst
flight. "Pm so frightened, I've seen
such sight!" " What sight, my sonT'
asked the rock. cob! white creatures,
screaming and running and stretching
their necks, and holding their heads ever
SO high. See mother there they go!
Geese, my son; merely geese, calmly
replied the sapient parent bird.
Through life, child, observe, that when
you meet any one who makes great
fuss about himself, and tries to lit his
head higher than the rest OF the world,
you may set him down at once to be
goose"
A CLERGYMAN Of South Norwalk,
Connecticut, who had been annoyed BY
the noise made by the late corners to his
church, announced fortnight ago that at
precisely 1890 q. m. every Sunday the
church doors would be locked and no
persons would be admitted after that to
the morning service. Last Sunday he
was detained at home by something till
near the moment for the beginning OF
the service. He discovered his danger
Gus position, however, and ran with all
his speed toward the church which ne
succeeded in entering Lst before the
doors we're closed. His wife one OF the
church deacons, and nary of the con-
gregation were, however ocked out.
SIT up to the table when you read:
easy chairs abolish memory: Do not go
on reading the same book for too long
at one sitting. If you are really weary
of one subject, change it for another.
Read steadily three hours day for i've
days in the week; the use of strong COT
, fee and wet towels betrays an Ignorance
/ of how to read. Check che accuracy OF
: your work as soon as you have finished
, It. Put your facts in order as soon as
/ YOU have learnt them. Never read after
} midnight. Do not go to bed straight
/ from your books. Never let your read
, ing interfere with exercise or digestion
) and lastly, if you can, keep clear
head, good appetite and cheerful