The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-06-07
A R0ciag Capitalist Strikes
Blsf-tfnQtO1l.

The Ha,0k-Eye says that a few days
ago gentleman with his coat tail copk-
cts full of baggage, strolled into the Cor
ham house and registered in bold, free
hand, the name of Aristachus Fl. Des-
PLANES, Crestline, Ohio" Then he lazily
picked upa toothpiek and leaned grace
fully up against the counter and nodded
| afably at Andrews, who wore on his
usually placid brow the expression of
man who is anxious to have something
to hold. Mr.. Desplaines apparently failed
to notice this expression, and said: with
sudden glow of enthusiasm:
ri like this townl"
No one dissented, and the stranger,
after a moments pause, to allow the
sentiment to impress itself upon his
audience, went on:
eyes, sir, like this town. There is
an air of enterprise, of activity, of rest
less progress and tireless industry about
it that invites investment. The streets
these people have hewn out of the solid
rock, the elegant business blocks that
have risen from the painless wilderness,
the ceaseless hum of machinery and
stroke of the hammer call loudly for
eastern capital to come here and, hand in
hand with labor, coin new and added
wealth out of the rugged rock, the mine,
the quarry and the loom. Yes, sir, like
this town. This is the place where my
money stops"
The stranger paused again. Most of
the audience had ceased to chew their
tooth-picks and were looking at the ora
tor with an air of interest. Mr.. Andrews
brushed an imperceptible grain of dust
from the sleeve of his coat and softly
whistled a bar from the Bohemian
Girl" Mr.. Desplaines continued:
eyes, sir, I like this town. hadn't
been here half an hour, hadn't talked
with dozen business men, before said
Here is the place. I know the spirit
of true town. And it isn't only live,
but it's safe town. I can put my money
into any one of the half dozen en-.
terprises that have been brought to my
notice here, and turn it at eight pei
cent. Safer and more profitable by fal
than the wild speculation SO rife in most
other cities, that promise the operator
twenty per cent. but give him naught
but ruin. And 1 will -what?' he added
suddenly glaucing at the clock, " half
past one already? How the time has
slipped by. 1 had nearly talked away
my dinner. The way to your dining
room, if you please" he added, little
haughtily, as a man not accustomed te
ask for things, but attended by ser
wants who anticipated his requests and
orders.
The clerk, instead of flying around
and marshaling Mr.. Desplaines to the
dinfng-room, merely glanced at the cap
italist's clothes, and murmured the Gus
tomary remark about the duties of bag
gageless guests requiring them to deposit
something before banqueting.
"What?" shouted Mr.. Desplaines
"you want me to pay in advance Me
= Me? Pay in advanced Why, dash you
impudence, I'll buy your beggarly little
town and have it moved into the river
Pay in advance? Here, give me blanl
check book, somebody. Tll drain YOU
miserable little village bank so dry they
can't change ten cent piece for three
months to come. Porter, bring dow1
my trunks and boxes, and carry then
over to the other hotel. Take them t.
the depot and carry my card to the pres
ident of the rolling mills and tell him tx
dine with me at the Palmer in Chicago
next Thursday. Pm off. Pm out o
this poverty stricken town by the frs
train that will carry me-"
And half an hour afterwards MIR. Des
PLANES was seen walking across thu
bridge, comfortably eating piece o
, bread and chewing raw onion, regard
! ing, with lofty disdain, the policeman
who stood at the Burlington end of th,
! bridge, and warned him farther away
The Lady Who Bagged" Gladstone
The CivI and Military Gazette ha
the following: There is a Russian lad.
in London at present who has perhap
done more to promote the Cars pur
poses in Eastern Europe than his who'll
army of diplomatists. I am preclude,
t from mentioning her name, but it is opel