The Lamoille news. (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1877-1881, 1877-05-30
HUMOROUS.
THE WATCH THAT WANTED
CLEANING.
BY JAMES T FIELDS.

BY JAMES FIELDS.
| think / never saw an individual
who needed ablution in a more pro-
nounced form than the man whom L
encountered a few weeks ago in Oma-
ha. We met casually on the upland
overlooking Council Bluffs, whittier j
had gone out for a morning walk in
that city of newness and. hospitality.
The wayfarer was sitting on the stump
of a recently beheaded tree, regard
ing watch, which he now and then
held up in a kind of hopeless manner
and listened to for sign of life from
its inner apartments. When he saw
me approaching he rose and asked for
"the time o day" AS | had only
"Boston time," and that was Of no use
so far "out West" he said, he again
shook the unresponsive article in his
"This ere watch, cap'n, is puzzler.
Something s the matter with 'er. She
amt no good for bizniz."
Seeing a settled grief on the poor
mans soiled and sunken countenance,
| sat down beside him on the ample
resting place he had chosen, and made
inquiry as to the cause of his Rtimely
SORROW, After brief pause, he thus
unburdened himself So o,u
"Cap'n, if yous in the watch line,
we'd better have nothing to do with
one mother; but as you say you amt,
/ don't mind giyin' you 'er9 history,
which you'll allow is somewhat inter-
estin'. l bought 'er two months ago
in She7caTgo for sixteen dollars in
poultry. | had 'er ola man who keeps
! jewilry down by the Palmer Hotel on
the sidewalk. He said he set his life
by 'er but would part with 'er if he
was shore the man he sold 'er to was
a moral man, and would take gooo
care of 'er. He said she was wunst
the property O one o the craownec
heads O. .Urup, but he was obliged tC
give 'er up on account of ur change il
his circumstances. He said there was
more'n two hundred jewils in 'er, whicl
was invisible to the naked eye. Waa
to make ur long story short, | negos
hated for 'er on the spot, and | mem
ber just as well as if't was Yesterday
/ he said she wouldn't warnt cleanin' eff
card 'er in mur pocket careful, 70
/ twenty year.
$50 We see / took 'er long to Roc
Island on the Mississippi, where
live, but she seemed to goon the jun
!, all the way down. WAL, | took e
into Jason's one day, and asked hir
to give look into 'er insides, and te
} me if he could, what made 'er act SC
( He screwed his old glass into his rigf
t eve, and arter a while he laid 'er dow
t on the counter, and says he, She's I
: powerful good watch, but she aodna
/ cle0nin'P When | heerd that, | W;
/, dumbfounded. Says /, sShe VIZ
: cleaned all over last week. Says III
: that may be, but she's full o di
!, naow. It's dusty this fall, says h
9 'and some on it's got into 'er.' Waa
It | thought it all over, and said he mig
90 to work on 'er next day: and
! charged me tew dollars and fifty cen
S for cleanin' on 'er aout. Pooty 500
|, / had to go off to Aurory, and s
z begun to act QUAR- agin. So | to-
t. 'er into watchmaker's there, ~
d asked him to fling his eye round al
g see whot allied her. WAL, he did,
$, as much as five minits, and then 50
ut he, She's ur fust-rate watch, but 8
y wants cleanin' 7 Says | (and | could
at help gettin' mad then), She's