Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-10-17

Next month the President becomes
part of the Virginia fair at Richmond,
and during tine Christmas holidays he
will eXcursh through the Southern cities
as far as New Orleans Stick up the ia
miliar old placard-" The government
is absent y Rochester Democrat.
A tramp applied to lady in Des
Moines for something to eat, and to the
inquiry as to why he didn't go to work,
said there was not any chance to work
at his trade now. - The lady asked him
what his trade was. Shoveling snow
was the confident answer. He cot his
dinner.
Visitor: "Isn't it terrible to think
that the vessel yonder may dash on the
rocks, and every soul on board perishr'
Old Salt: Yes; but isn't it more terri
bic to think that maybe the crews a
working themselves to death, and per-
haps there's not bit O. hacker aboard
the entire craft %
awe are going to have hard winter
said old Wilkins, as he rummaged his
pockets for a stray piece of tobacco.
Tough times ahead, tell you; that is
more than ever apparent y Alas
said Bummerson, so am l." So are
you what?' "More than ever parent
it happened last week"
A Chicago fashionable clergyman has
failed. Liabilities, $15,OO0 assets, twen-
ty-two pairs of worked slippers, assorted
sizes, thirteen dressing gowns, thirty
pen wipers, two dozen fancy pincushions,
nine watch pockets, and seven cushions
! for easy chairs -No,TiaoWa Herald
Jimmy" said an Englewood father
yesterday morning, the doctor has Just
brought you beautiful, new little sis
ter" No. he didn't neither" said Jim
my, fur seen him when he KUN in,
an he had a cane in one hand an moth
in in the other '-NeaU York H0uH
| AUTUMNAL Dirty
Oh. there's beauty in the morning
In the b uey buey blue,
In the rosy golden dawning
Ger the bluey. bluey blue:
! But the winters chill is creeping
With its blewy, blewy blew,
! To Set your nose to weeping.
ALI so bluey, bluey blue -[Puek.
1t is thought that B. Young ought. to
have recovered from his cholera NOR
bus, but when it came to fighting with
twenty-seven women, each one with
different kind Of mustard plaster for her
dear husband, and new kind of herb
tea, it was too much for him. Every
woman laid her plaster where there was
room, and the prophet went down to his
grave like a sandwich. -Haukeye
The apartments of the two eldest sons
of the prince Of Wales on her majesty's
training ship for cadets, the Britannia.
have been fitted up at cost of nearly
3d. 900, but the princes hadn't been Oh
board forty-eight hours before the COM
monest kind of twenty-five cent sea-
sick came along and LAID them by the
heels, and emptied enough royalty out
of them to stock up half dozen ordi-
nary Kingdoms. Burlington Haaekeye
A yellow citizen Of this republic APP
preached the clerk of a Tennessee coun-
ty court, and, prefacing his remarks with
roll of currency, said: "Ts lived froo'
dis worP SO fur, lone. Is took it hot
an cool. Is experienced desc trials in
comfort an out. De trosts has drove
dis chile to de wall long 'nough He
poses to fortify 'gainst de ills of life.
Give dis ere chile papers to unite him
on-in dem bounds oh matrlmonity."
Far be it from us to doubt the word
of brother editor" says the La Crosse
Sun; eve believe them all to be truth
full men; but when the Durand Times
says that the water is so low at the
mouth of the Chippewa river that cat
fish have to employ mud-turtles to tow
them over the bar, we feel as though
the editor must be away, and some local
minister filling his place."
Funeral in story -and-a-half house:
Enter fashionably dressed lady who
lives around the corner at stone 'front.'
with small boy. Lady Ito herself )-"I
wonder if this is going to be fashion
able affair? Don't look much like it
now; not over a dozen or twenty here,
and none with carriages. My girls did
want to come so bad" Looking out of
the window -" Oh, here come the Per
cys and the Armours, and the Bene-
diets in their carriages" Whispering
to small boy" Charlie, run home
quick and tell Oracle and Amy that it
is all right, and to come ahead Exit
small boy on the run around the corner.
A true story from New Jersey: A
good deacon, E, pillar in the
church, raised a pair of steers. and final
ly sold them to Mr.. Jake, who was ter
ribly deaf and not a church goer. Some
time after the sale the deacon was agree
ably surprised to see the buyer Of the
steers at church, and as services were
over, shook his hand heartily ard asked
! for the health of his family The deaf
buyer having the sale chiefly in mind,
and thinking the deacon asked him
about the steers he had raised, answered
in very bluff and loud voice, heard all
over the church: Lousy Lousy.
Lousy as the devilp'
Remarkable Sleep-Walking.
A young lady of Paterson, Is years
LII /, IL A