The daily intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Territory [i.e. Wash.]) 1876-1881, 1877-08-11
Southern Pulpit Eloquence.

In the Autumn OF 1890 l attended q
Methodist cAnp.ineeting in the inte-
rior OF Georgia. and heard a sermon
which have never been able to forget
Or describe. At the earnest solicitation
OF friends l have attempted several
times to write it But it cannot be put
on paper. The main force of it was in
snufiiing, and splitting and groaning. and
the hound after a-fox sort of yelp and
whine, to which no pen can do Justice
1t must be intoned to be appreciated.
have used it a. q remedial agent in
exercising the demons of hypochondria,
and have never failed "to send them
down steep place into the sea-" to the
great relief Of the sufferer
The speaker had just been iicensCd;
and it was his first sermon. In person
be was small, bullet headed. of fair
sandy complexion, and his countenance
was indicative Of sincerity and honesty.
His remarks evinced great reverence
for the works of God as manifested in
zoology and natural history and he
was taking up the Bible in regular
order for the first time in his life. He
had got as far as the history of Noah
the ark. the food. etc. Besides, "iust
before his conversion he had read Gold
smiths Animated Mater" and the
two together, by tie aid and assistance
Of the spirit. had led him into power
ful train Of thinking as hs stood at his
work bench day in and day out.
But whatever his sermon may have
been it was his own. The text was ::
"As it WAS in the days of Noah, SO
shall the coming of the Son of Man be"
After commenting upon that part of
Genesis descriptive of the food. he
warmed up" suddenly and broke out
in the following strains
"Yes, my bretheren, the heavens Of
the windows was opened-ah, and the
floods of the great deep kivered the
waters -ah. aud there was Sham ana
Ham, and there was Japheth, all a
gwine into the ark-ah.
And there was the elephapt-ah, that
great animal-ah of which Goldsmith
describes in his Animated Mater -ah.
what is rs big as house -ah. and his
bones as big as tree-ah, depending
somewhat on the size of the tree all.
all a-gwine into the ark -ah And the
heavens of the windows were opened
ah, and the floods of the great deep
kivered the watcrs-sh; and there was
Sham and there was Ham: and there
was Japheth-ab, all a-gwine into the
ark-ah
"And there was the hippopotamus-
all. that great animal ali of which Gold
smith describes in his Animated Mater
an. what has a great big horn-ah h
stickin' right straight up out of his for
ward-ah six feet long, more or less ah,
all a. gwine into the ark-ah.
And there was the giraife-nh ny
bretheren. that ill-contrivcd reptile. of
which Goldsmith describes in his Ami
mated Nater-ah. whose fore-legs is
twenty live feet long-ah, more or less ali
somewhat on the length of
EN- ah. and neck so long he can eat
hay off the top of barn-ah, all a-gwine
into the ark -ah. And the heavens of
the windows were opened -ah and the
foods of the great deep kivered the
waters-ah, aud there was Ham, and
there was Sham and there was Japheth-
al all a.gwinc into the ark-ah
"And there was the zebra, bretheren-
all, the beautiful animal which Gold
smith describes in his Animstei Mater
all. who has three hundred stripes run
ming around his body -ah. more or less,
somewhat on the number Of
the stripes. ah. and nary two stripes
alike, all. alla-gwinc into the ark-sh
And there was the anaconder.ah,
that great sarpaat which Goldsmith de-
scribes in his Animated Nater-ah,
which can swallow six oxen at a meal
all. provided his appetite don't call for
lcss-ah, all q gwine INTO the ark-ah.
And the heavens of the windows was
opened-ah. and the floods of the great
deep kivered the waters-sh. and there
was Ham. and there was Sham, aud
there was Japheth-ah, all gwine into
the ark-ah.
"Aud there was the lion ah. what is
king of the beasts, according to the
scripter' -ah, and whe, as st. Paul says
al, is seekin' if he can catch some
body -ah; all n gwine into the ark ah.
And there was the antilope-ah. that
frisky little critter-sh, of which Gold
smith describes in his Animated Mater
ah. what can jump IS feet straight up
ah, ami twice that distance down-ah.
provided his legs will take him that
fur-ah."
Just at this point he stopped speak
=. g.
head, turned back his wristbands, ran
his fingers through his hair. spit and
rubbed his boot IN it, drank little wa
ter, commenced on lower key and pro-
cceded as follows:
But time would fail me, my breth-
eren, to describe all the animals that
went into the ark-ah. Your patience
aud my strength would give out before
got halt through-ah. We talk. my
bretheren, about the faith of Abraham
and the patience of Job-ah; but 1t
strikes me they didn't go much ahead
Of old Noer. ali. II tux . right smart
chance o. both to gsther up all that go
fer wood and pitch and truck for TO
build that crsft-ah. am a sort OF
carpenter myself. and have some idea
Of the Job ali. But to hammer. and
saw. aud maui, and split away on one
thing a hundred and twenty years-ah
an looking for his pay in another
world-sh- tell you bretheren, If the
Lord had set Job at that it's my opin-
ion he would TUX his wife's advice in
side Of fifty years-ah. Besides. no doubt,
h,. RIGHTEOUS soul was vexed every day.
hand running. with the filthy cousnu-
nicstious of the blasphemous set that