The New York herald., 1877-12-09
CHAT BY TIE WAY.


oi sugar in them, while others were evidently bap-
tised in vinegar before they got their eyes open and
have been sour ever since.
Baptist minister in tho South reports that he has
averaged six and one-hat baptisms each month dur.
ing the last twelve The question Is, Whom did
be reckon tho odd half each month, and why didn't
he baptize the otner hhf9
II Mr.. Moody would just drop his work In New
England sixty days and spend the time in convert
ing the baggage smashcrs OF America he would do
vast deal toward rendering profane language unnec
essary. When good Christian sces his new trunk
leaking every pore speak, tho iron protectors
and the gone, the hinges wabbling like the
wheels Of farmers wagon, and half dozen holes
IN che side through which no could draw his over
coat II some fellow traveller haunt already done IL
for him-well, tho strictly religious vocabulary
doesn't afford any language that begin 10 express
his feelings, and he compelled either to burst or to
forget Tor five minutes that he is a Christian.
Mr.. Cook mas been lecturing .'Certantes In Re-
ligon." He seems to be just as sure OF some
things tho old lady that her neighbor had on
real camels hair shawl, because she saw tho name OF
the camel In the corner
If you have split your own milk, or somebody's
else i. does little good sit down by the waysde
and mingo your tears with it as 1t Is soaked up BY
the sand. Your difficulties never decrease by being
moaned over; on the contrary
In trouble to be troubled
Is TO have your troubles doubled.
Some people find comfort and happiness any
whore and others find them nowhere. You must
search for them, and you must search in the right
place, If you would be successful While Lamb
euogzcd the pipe, ard stately castles in Its
wreaths OF smoke, Anstey set his rhythmic musc at
work to immortalize the pugllst's renown:-
Now fighting is itself action
That gives both parties satsiactionj
A secret JOY the bruser knows,
In giving and receiving blows;
A namecss pleasure, only tasted
BY those who'vo thoroughly been bnstcd
Tho last eccentrcity folly assert that you are
guided by tho Lord In your ridiculous actions When
one of thesc sc-elected prophets told Bunyan that
.by OF the Lord no had sought for him In half
tho prisons Of England" the blunt divine replied,
.srhat Dbe Tor the Lord knows well enough that
I've been here Bedford jail for tho last twelve
years."
1t is great pity that there Ia direct communica-
ton between this world the next. lf there were
could settle the Darw nlan theory at once; u would
only necessary to call up from the vasty deep
or tho aborigin from whom which have de-
scended, and he would unfold the awful tail.
Until that time shall never know whether
Baiaam and his had common origin, or whether
the ordinary croaker Is cannbal because he eats
frogs.
y
ago old Latin school days came 10 mud, and
remarked 10 friend, "rnese people after the
golden fleece" He answered at once, eyes, they are
all argouauty peoples the only difference is that
party uses the active form Of the verb and says, IL
fleece and is happy, and hires cab 10 60 home with,
and the other the passive form, and says, ~ am
neeccd," and goes home on foot
Some people are like the old deacon who used TO
cheat his neighbors n trade. and then kneel down
by wall and pray that II he had done anything
wrong a stone might iall on him. He satisfied his
by the msy assertion that he must DO all
right because not stone mad moved from its
place. One day, however, after the usual prayer
loose top stone did lalL lie jumped to his feet in
great terror aud cried out-"Good gracious Lord,
didn't you know / was jokingf"
No way beeu discovered to avoid the difficulties
OF life One remains a bachelor, ana boasts that
he is thus free from care, but existence becomes
proltess struggle with buttons and neckies; another
marries hoping To find thereafter every button IN its
place, and the slippers at the rcside on his return
IRON bus ness but wife has been made the prcsi
dent OF a relief ASSOCIATION, and manages to Afford
relief to every one except him. You may as well
make up your mind TO stand your share OF the gen
cral ENHANCEMENT, aud to do II phiIosophcaly and
bravcly Tor every one learns sooner or later, That
Lille is full of care aud trouble,
whether you 60 1t SINGLE or double.
There are twcthiugs which double up man with
startling rapidty, the misery OF an uneasy conscience
and the unpaid interest on a promissory note.
An old minister advises his y Dung brethren TO make
bonfre Of tncir sermons every two years. IL would
be well enough to put the old ones in the lre If you
could put the lre into the new ones
IL hope you getting on well in your church 20
said Mr. Moody TO a minister IN country village.
eyes we are getting wen could be expectedn
nj nlt nj uiIpIyf m mil
ter thought a momen and then answered, "oh yes, /
think We are perfectly unitod, are frozen solid
Your religo on may be hung with damask and per-
fumed with lavender on Sunday II you wisn but on
Monday TIE world wants homespun religion whose
color Won't out and whose threads will stand
tho and tear Of temptation.
There is a great dcal Of grown up theology as do
fcctvc as that OF the boy who, when asked u he knew
where people went Who told lics, replied 'Ips
place where there is nrc, out don't just remem
ber the name OF the town"
Danger attends teaching ,echIsm Tor purposes
OF exhibition. wnen tho committee camc to examine
the class, each boy knew what question he would be
asked and what would be expected. 1t SO nap
/ pcncd, however, that one lad was missing, and the
\ question, "Dd God make youY" was put TO the next
ordcr. The reply original aud astounding,
"No SIR the boy tnat G Cd made has gone home with
! tho tooth ache.n
| certain prophet appeared in our midst few
months since VINO confidently predicted that the time
was at hand when ladies' would not sweep the
sidewalks with their skirts. Ho gone insane
asylum, and the good custom stiil prevails
when Bishop Berkeley denied the existence oil mat
ter Lord Byron put his answer into verse. II was
short and yet conclusive;--
when Bishop kcley said there was no matter,
II was matter wbat no saiu;
and wnen the rationasts bespatter religion with the
mud OF doubts, II SIMPLY changes white rat
mcnt Ior another while they with drly hands
forever.
Political Offices mad the same kind oil uncegtalntY