The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-03-24
WHY KITTY DID NOT KILL HER
SELF.


SELF.
Miss Kitty Gibson, aged nineteen, eyes
blue, complexion peachy, health perfect,
had made up her mind to die.
The question of speedy death had
been settled beyond all bubble or
doubt; and itremaincd now only for this
young lady of suicidal proclivities to de-
termine what means she should employ
to consummate her design. A pistol
would be quick and effective, but there
wasn't pisto! in the house. Poison,
particularly strychnine, presented itself
10 her mind as a Mecca for all death
coveting maidens; but there was the
difficulty of procuring the drug-of
reaching the Mecca. What would Hiram
GriswOld think if she were to 90 to the
village store and ask him for an ounce
of strychnine? And would one ounce be
enough? She might hang herself in the
barn, but that was more properly a
masculine method of destruction.
She might cut her throat with Uncle
Randolph's razor, but for a lingering
recollection of the difficulty she had ex-
perienced in sharpening lead-pencils
with that venerable instrument. Be-
sides, such plan would dishgure her
dreadfully, and she desired, above all
things, to be a neat and comely-looking
corpse. There was yet another way
open to her, and that was the river. This
impressed her more favorable than either
pistol or poison, rope or razor. Even
such sensible heroines as those who
figure in George EliOt's novels were
given to watery graves, and drowning
seemed at once the simplest, the most
agreeable and the most romantic method
of putting an end to her burdensome ex-
istence. The river it should be-the
broad, swift Connecticut, which flowed
within half mile of Uncle Randolphs
house, and which seemed at that precise
moment to Uncle Randolph's pretty niece
designed by Providence to afford her a
moist and peaceful exit from this dry
ard warning world. She would drown
herself just as soon as the ice melted.
And, this weighty question having been
decided, Miss Kitty Gibson rose up from
her seat, filled the teakettle with water
and replc uished the fire with a stick of
wood.
Except they be insane, girls of nine
teen, with comfortable homes and good
digestions, do not make up their minds
to drown themselves without cause.
Kitty Gibson was not insane, but she be-
lieved that circumstances rendered eX-
cusable the step she was about to take,
that is, step into the Connecticut
River. Called upon to analyze and ex-
plain these circumstances, she would
have brought forth as a result of her
self-searching, first, love unreciprocated;
next, pride deeply wounded; and last, a
heart which she believed to be broken so
hopelessly that not even the magic of
Times cement could mend it. A month
before Kitty Gibson was the happiest as
well as the prettiest girl in the State of
Connecticut; at least that is what every
body who knew her said, and no doubt
that is what Kitty herself thought, al
though she did not, of course, acknowl-
edge the fact to others. A month be-
fore, and she was counting the days
until spring, until the dawn of that
blossomy May, when she was to be
married. What was it that had turned
the thoughts of this young lady from
bridal wells to poisons, pistols and other
horrible subjects? What could it be,
except quarrel with Jack? Obviously,
nothing. Obviously, Kitty and Jack had
quarreled.
Now there are Jacks and Jacks in this
world, but, with the single exception OF
Jack Burroughs, Kitty Gibson cared
nothing for the whole pack of Jacks
He was her right bower, with which she
fully intended to play life's game, and
make all the points desirable. That, al
least had been her intention month
before. But now-now, alasl she had
turned him down. The mustard seeC
from which had sprung this many
branched tree of misery had taken roo
at Helen Clapp's party. Indeed, Heller
herself might be termed the seed. Will
Helen Jack had danced the opening reel
which everybody knew was Il shocking
breach of etiquette. He ought to have
danced it with Kitty, with his atfianceC
bride. Like the spirited young woman
she was, Kitty Gibson punished he
lover by accepting an invitation to sup
per from Cyrus Phelps. Jack was dumb
founded at this behavior, while Kit.
enjoyed her triumph, and ate her ice
cream demurely. 1t is to be confessed
that Cyrus Phelps was not the mos
agreeable of companions; that his rang
of conversation was limited to th'
weather and to the condition of tn
Dads; and that, whenever he attempted