St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1877-09-28
Squibs.

''There isn't vegetable" says the
Worcester Press, ''that can ketchup
with the tomato"
1t is said that there are 13 men in the
presidents cabinet, seven with Shurtz,
and six without.
An Ohio Democratic paper says the
Pennsylvania Democratic platform
twas apparently the work of an IDIOT
And yet some people say that Demo-
cratic editor can't tell the truth.-NOrr
Herald.
A Roman who recently returned from
Philadelphia, informs us that Keely
motor consists of a pound of boarding
house butter shut up in an iron box.
This statement will do much to restore
confidence in the power of the motor
Rome Sentinel.
Says the Hawkeye: The Baron
Rothschild of Paris has Just paid $780,
600 for a picture, when he might sub
scribe for the Christian at Work, only
50, and get two chromos that would
make him think of eternity and future
state and scare the hair off his head
every time he woke up in the night
The New York Post says 1--WE still
hear occasionally of the tender, passion
ate, wOrshipping lover, who lies in am
bush for the idol of his hearts affections,
and cuts her head off with a hatchet be-
cause she will not marry him. 1t is
getting to be safer for girl to shoot a
man when he proposes than to refuse
him."
The Prophet Brigham used to spank
his boys in the streets of Salt Lake
when he could find out which they were.
A cOuntryman, giving his evidence at
court, was asked by the counsel if he
was born in wedlock. "No, sir,n he
replied, 81 was born in Devonshire."
Says the Burlington Hawkeye: A
man out in Western Iowa has lust been
sentenced to the penitentiary for nine
ty-nine years. He thinks it is the long
est sentence on record since Mr.. Everts
lost his breath.
The Philadelphia Bulletin remarks
that many persons who sing on Sundays
down at the seashOre, "Oh, for a man
sion in the sky !" really "Owe for cot
tage by the sea-" and the landlord
doesn't know when he is going to get
that three months rent.
DR.. Schliemann says he owes his sue
cess in life to the faithful observance of
simple habit-that was to put on first
in the morning his left stocking and left
boot, and in drawing on his clothes to
put his left foot into the drawers and
pants, and his left arm into the shirts,
vests and coat. Only once in his life he
omitted to do this, and Oh that day the
Cardiff giant was discovered by some
body else.-Danbury NeUS.
Awful warning to tramps: A tramp,
who said he had father and brother
occupying good positions in the New
York custom house, asked for work at
Dubuque so as to get an old pair of
boots, his feet being nearly naked. The
sarcastic housekeeper pointed him grim
ly to test-pile of kDotty wood from
which thousands of tramps had recoiled
in terror; but this exceptional tramp
split the wood, piled it neatly, cleaned
up the yard and mended the fence and
sidewalk. The lady approvingly gave
him a cube meal, pair of boots, a GOOD
suit OF clothes and a dollar, and her
neighbor, Mr.. George Lagen, a livery
stable keeper, noting his industry, en-
ployed the tramp at fair wages. Such
are the fatal consequences of a tramp's
forgetting the dignity of his profession
and dallying with an ak.
The application of the following
amusing aDachronism, for which the
Chicago Inter-Ocean is responsible, is
so evident as to need no pointing out:
Just after the strike, when Solomon
closed the discussion by telling the
sluggard to go to the ant, the sl1ggard
replied, with a knowing wink, that he
had much softer thing than that, GAS
how P inquired the proverbial mon
arch. 81 will start savings bank,n re-
piled the man of inertia. The monarch
nodded slowly, twice or thrice, and
went away to get shaved. The next
time he met the sluggard, that deliber-
ate individual was riding in a gold
mounted carriage, with coachman and
footman in livery, and in reply to the
monarch's nod, he just pulled up to say
that he was going over to Europe for a
little while till the furry blew over.
And Solomon went back into his sane
tum and wrote, "Better is an handful
with quietness, than handbook as big
as Bible with travail and vexation of
spirit"