The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1877-09-04
NoDwINKUM's BOAnDERs.

Mr.. Nodwinkum lives in an isolated
dwelling on Nelson street. Being q
prudent man, Mr.. Nodwinkum sleeps
with pistol close at hand, with which
10 perforate a scoundrel who may find
anything worth carrying of in the
mansion. About two o'clock the other
morning he was awakened by a noise.
AS soon as he got his senses aroused he
determined from the sound that the
noise was on the floor below. Then he
awakened his wife by shaking her.
"what is the natter" she inquired,
starting up.
''Shp whispered her husband,
"Theres burglars in the house.
WHAT" she gasped.
Cant you keep still?" he demanded
in kissing whisper. They'll be in
here on us, cuttin' our throats afore
you know 1t"
The frightened woman held her
breath.
"Now, I'll get up an get my pistol;
an go up in the attic" he explained,
"an' stand at the winder, an you 60
down stairs and throw over something,
an when they hear the noise they'll
run inter the yard, an I'll just pepper
'em as they come out"
The woman was 80 overcome with the
brilliancy of this project that she could
not speak.
"Do you hear me?" he Kissed.
"Yes; but, Joseph, / dares'n go
down there, she whispered back;
they'd kill me.
Don't be fool, i tell you" he an.
swered, impatiently. "What you got
TO be 'fraid Of, I'd like 10 know? You
Just make noise on the stairs, an
they'll be mighty glad 10 scatter out
How'd they know but forty men were
after themp"
She still hesitated.
You go, OF I'll know the reason OF
it," he said, between his clenched
teeth.
The unhappy woman prepared 10
obey, and having secured his pistol, he
slipped noiselessly up the garret stairs
to the window, where, taking his stand
with the pistol, lie peered into the
yard.
Mrs. Nodwinkum, with her heart al
most at a standstill. felt her way out to
the head of the stairs leading down to
the next floor, and part way down them,
trembling in every joint, aud then
fearing 10 proceed further, she threw
the wash-pitcher, which she had
brought with her, 20 the floor below,
and under cover OF the crash she flew
back to the bedroom. Mr.. Nodvink-
um heard the noise and put the pistol
ont OF the window, and shut his eyes
and pulled at the trigger But there
was no explosion. Again he snapped
the hammer, but with the same result.
He looked out, but there was no one
IN sight, aud after waiting moment in
a state OF dreadful uncertainty as 10
whether the marauders had fed, or
consumed his wife and were now lay.
ing for him. he crawled slowly aud
softly down the stairs, the blood gath
ering at the top OF his head, and every
hair almost lifting its ownsef out by
the roots. Regaining his room, his
wife took the precaution 10 assure hiui
that she had made an active search,
but had found no one. Whereupon
Mr.. Nodwinkum took courage 10 light
the lamp and examine the pistol, which
he discovered unloaded. Take 1t all IN
all it was a narrow escape all around,
and as there was no evidence in the
morning to show that the house had
been entered, we are forced TO the con
clusion already reached by Mr.. Nod
winkum, and impaired TO his wife, via
THAT the miserable thieves knew he
was no man To be trihed with"