, 1877-06-17
pIOUs JOKES.

tIon. and gratifying increase In church tollec-
tions Il notIced.-llarkeye.
The Car says this Ia a religious var. Ah1
Then that Is tho rcason be doesn't dam the
Danube. (}uL he does, all the same.eHaek-
tyy.
An old lady, Sleeping during dIyine service In
n church, let fall Bible with clasps 10 II, and
tho no!ss partly awakening her, she exclaimed
aloud: "Whati you've broke another Jug,
hare yout"
Little Susie, looking at somc pictures Of
winged angels. exclaimed: "Mamma, don't
want to bc m angel" "Why not, dcarl''
"Humphl lease on my pretty clothes, ard wear
1edderH like henw
A minister Of the Gospel IN. Southern CALI
fornia lately persuaded his wife, With the u.s.
slstanee OF mn ax-handlc, that tu WIS EO0d
ntan; and party Of the }ady's friends, cos,-
etstiuR mostly Of her trothcss, took the clergy
man ont under the hill and carved him into
boot-hecls.
Among the religious notices In last Batur-
daY's San francisco Chrontcle Is one which
reads: "The Gospel OF the t3racc OF God will.
ne Lord tllttng 10 preached a. = New Mont
eomsfy street." etc. The Implied doubt as to
.sthc Gospel Of the Grace Of God preachedn IN
Sau Francisco is q trtfe peculiar.
A learned thcolugtau In this city has son, q
hopeful child of four ycure. ills fatler expects
he will be minister, nNu the lad hns tn)kcd en-
couragingly until Yesterday. when he gave ssrns
Of having fallen from grace, for the dcvt,ted
chiltl came In to l'ts father and said: Papa.
TIN not gofn' to be a minister" "What do
you think ot dolngl'' asked Ais father. "Goin'
TO irisc an tcc-cart."
Nothing so thoroughly pfcascs a man who
has learned TINT a COLLECTION Is to be taken IN
Ills church un Sunday morning. and who has
consequently been nnlblc to bc present, on ac-
count Ut severe pain iii his buck, Us to attend
tue evening service and hear the Clergyman an
nounco that, "us many TfIu desired to give
wcto not present ut tic moruluE collection, II
will now be rcprated."
An Oneda street merchant, who takes great
| pride In kccpin. Ills walk wcll spr,nkleu md
swept, was standing In his door when tile raln
| began to natter last week, when passing eitt.
fs ss'1a5kS1 1s1 l: sD.i, Yqs was
Ing It inely-tinely," remarked the merchant,
and tEcu ulJetl, " Isy the way, that reminds me
| that uc IL the first one on tbs street who has
failed to eot,i.i1 and borrow ny sprinkler when
he hus sueh lob to sio."-Falsoa Tsas.s.
A minister passing near SONG soal.pit. n
Scotland the ottirr day heard Il uIlIer swearin.;
most outrayeously at having iallcn Into pool
Ut n,ul. " Yon1i. man." said tho minister,
"do you kn!w where you arc going t"s" ''AE,'
said tic collier, an, gat'n tue iny war!s upb,
| there" NJ, my dear yullu- man. sal ! the
minister, with solemn shnkc of the head, and
4 warnlug waye of tic hand, "you are eoiny Il
| tic bottoInlcss pi;.'' "Mun, yull ,!ttsna ken
n,uckle about pits, acc.'' replied tl!c collier
''for hae wroclt IN Eta's,1r crtry pit III thc
coonty, M never saw, far less heard tell o., {
! pit H7tll0ot d bottoni!"
renewed MY acquaintance With 3-ycaE-o!d
bog, MINISTER'S kull, wltu EaTc nlc sot,u Of t,tl
ilcus about God. tic w1s helping to destroy
gool-sixcd strawberry f-shorteakr. which " bill
u,anl!lietl appetite mil worldly eyes Looked al
too email Tor the requirements Of those wl.t
lad tna4le nn nttack vi, It. II wl.lt" AaII tll'
yoraci0us Infant, "tllat ! could srt IL straW
bcrry-AItottpakc ns tig as Gud.'' On bcttt
| questioned ~ TO his tllea Of tic elze OF th
UgitY, he thought tllnt he was either about O.
big u tho railroad Grtd-s Or the Episropa
Church. Anyway, III could do lots Ut thu1A
lie could siicu oil boys most aud nut It III
again .sjust ~ casy,h md yuu wouldn't knot
It harj:y.
We have iu this ncighborhood gentleman
who has hcen Rector of d church, for forty years
1c Inns learned to ease ftn,sclf md occasionall
! calls IN n lar tfothes to read prayers for l.l.a
4 tavurltc III this work Is 4 young lllau with
good voice, agllo 1t IL fald Ii looking toward th
sncrcl calling. Last Sunday gentleman N
rived late 1t r!lur! aud dr0vs ilia team tlntlc
the lorsu-she,!. liz found the Young candidate
sitting On the sill quietly cnIuyfnE u cjgai
"Wi,y, jim! Why are you not In to service +
~ lor't read pyaycss to-day" waa tho answes
"The old nan takcs q tur,i httusclf to-day, ~
thought ! wo.lld cornu out and hnve q quEc
smoke. The fact il, Ind rather smoke o goo
| cigar sny time than read prayers"