The Virginia star., 1877-09-08
HUMOROUS.

Mr.. THROCKMORTON's EXPERIENCE IN
DONG FAMILY SHOPPING.-Mr. Jasper
ThrOckmortOn, who lives out on Summer
street, is the father of ten children.
The other morning, Mr. Throckmorton
was just on the point of putting on his
hat to start for the office, when Mrs.
ThrockmOrton called after him from
the kitchen.
''Stop at Soldiers and tell him to come
up and fix the water pipe, and get a
big tin dipper and bring it with you
this noon. Don't tell them to send it,
they'll forget it,"
Mr.. Throckmorton said he would, and
then he put on his hat and started. As
he reached the front door, his eldest
daughter shouted from upstairs:
'Pa! pa! pa! Go to Greenbaum &
SChrOeder'S and ask Mr.. Scott to give
you two yards and half of brown
satin, cut on the bias to match the dress
got last week; he'll know the kind.
Bring it with you. | don't want to
wait for it.
And Mr.. Throckmorton pausing with
his hand on the door. said he would get
it, and then sighed and opened the
door. just then his oldest son shouted
from the sitting room:
"Father! The man was up here twice
yesterday for the money for my new
boat, and L just gave him a note to you
and he'll call at the office to-day for his
money, and will give you pair of pat
ent oarlocks and dip-net. Bring them
up with you when you come to dinner
MIR. ThrockmortOn kind of stifed a
groan like, and saying he would attend
to 1t, went out. AS he passed down the
porch steps his second daughter leaned
out of window and cried:
"Oh, pa; do stop at Parsons as you
come to dinner and tell them to send a
man to lay the new hall carpet when
they send it up, and you get ten pounds
of cotton batting and bring it with you,
for we want it right away and can't
wait"
The parent paused with his hand on
the gate latch, and with a visible effort
promised to remember the errand and
bring up the cotton batting, and opened
the gate. But the voice of his younger
son from the side yard caught his ear
and held him for moment:
"Pap, oh papl Want ten cents to pay
for a winder | broke in the schOOl-hOuse,
and l can't 90 to Sunday School till |
get a new hat and some shoes, and
please can't | have quarter to go to
the picnic?"
Mr.. ThrockmortOn silently registered
flogglng for the broken glass, mega
tive for the picnic, and said he would
get the boots and hat. Then he turned
to 90, but as he passed down the street
his six younger children came running
after him.
"Oh, pa, don't forget to stop and see
if the old umbrellas fixed, ma says
"Stop at the dentists and see when
he can fill my teeth"
"Bring my shoe home from the shoe
Makers"
eMa says be sure and tell the doctor
to come up to-day and vaccinate the
baby!"
Pap! Kin go swimmin' in Hawk
eye krick, Tonight"
''Pa, oh pa! gimme five cents to ride
on the street cars"
And Mr.. ThrockmOrtOn went down
town and amazed Fred Scott by telling
him to cut him off about thirteen feet of
water-pipe, on the bias, and he asked
Mr.. ParsOn to let him have eleving
dozen skeins of cotton batting and send
him up man with tin dipper; he
told DR.. Cochran, the dentist, to come
right up and fill the baby's teeth, and
begged the doctor to hurry right away
and put half sole on the schoOl-hOuse
window, and then he ran to the shoe
makers and asked him if he had vacci-
mated his little girls shoe, and amazed
street car driver by asking him for a
bath ticket, and when the man came
around with the Oar-locks and dip-net
he told him to take them up and lay
them in the front hall, the girls would
show him where. And by o'clock in
the afternoon it had got all around town
that old Mr.. Throckmorton was drink
ing as bad as ever again, and hadn't
drawn a sober breath all day.-Burling-
ton Hd,gkeye.
= II 1,