Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-11
Pronounced thus
FACT AND FANCY.

same place." likewise the housewife en-
deavoring to tack down the carpet.
THIS is the time of the year when
green cherries hang temptingly in front
OF and in reach OF a good little boy whom
the angels love and want to play with.
"MY dear julia" said one pretty girl
to another, "can you make up your
mind to marry that odious Mr.. Snuff?'
" Why, my dear Mary" replied Julia,
" believe could take him at pinch.''
JUST my luck" said waiting-maid
sadly. "Here I am in family where
every one has love-afair on hand and
leaves letters lying about opened, and I
can't read. "-French paper.
A YOUNG man from out West, visiting
Boston, carelessly remarked that he
didn't admire Emerson. He was imme-
diately arrested and fined S. for profan-
ity.-Detroit Post
A WOMAN pushing a baby-cab with
one hand, holding up her skirts with the
other, and carrying her parasol in her
teeth, is a sight which can only be seen
since the new fashion broke out.
"MY hotel is perfectly safe" SAYS a.
Richmond landlord. ''Wires run from
every window-sill to the roof of the
building opposite, and balancing poles can
be had upon application at the office"-
Richmond Enquirer.
A BENEFACToR greater than Eiebi
has appeared in France He prepares
food 50 condensed that half-pound pack
age will last a strong man through seven
days. No respectable family should be
without some.
Two free-thinking prozetaires are dis
cussing matters in general in the
Chaussee Clignancourt. Says one: GA
religion where the Sabbath is the only
day of rest? Bah! What we want is a,
religion where it is day of rest all the
week round"
The fower-loving citizen, who has
spent all his leisure time this season in
laying out flower beds and fostering the
same, will have his reward this summer,
when his daughters beaux will carry off
his choicest varieties for button-hole
bouquets.
WHEN a small boy with a prejudice
against yellow dogs observes an old
oyster can in a condition of inactivity he
at once begins debating the question
whether it was created to point moral
or adorn a tail. The dog gets the first
news of the decision.- Worcester Press.
IT was noted that during his triumph
ant ride through Liverpool, Gen. Grant
looked uneasy and kept his eye closely
fixed on the crowd about his carriage.
1t now transpires that he had been
privately informed of threatened "Ode
of Welcome" by the great Martin Far
quhar Upper.
A LADY asked a very silly-(we
won't mention the nationality how it
happened that his countrymen who came
out OF their own country were, generally
speaking, men OF more ability than those
who remained at home cob madam"
said he, "the reason is obvious At
every outlet there are persons stationed to
examine all who pass, that for the honor
Of the country no one be permitted to
leave it who is not a man of under
"Then," said she, II sup
pose you were smuggled. '-Eachange.
A BRIDGEPORT, Conn.,, man sent dog
by express to Boston friend, paying 81
for his fare in advance. The consignee
refused to take the dog, and he was sent
back. Now, the original owner declines
to receive him. In the meantime the
animal has eaten ST. worth of food at
the expense Of the express company, and
they are in a quandary as to what shall
be done with him. His appetite, which
no amount adversely reduces, is what
terrifes the company, who view his de-
vastating influence upon the receipts
with ruefuf countenances.
Mr.. BENSON was out in his garden
Monday daubing coat of tar on the
trunk of a choice cherry tree, when his
next door neighbor, with whom he is not
on very good terms, came out and indus
triously set to work mailing lath between
the pickets on the line fence. ''I
thought I'd fix this treeso that your dog
wouldn't be able to get into 1t when the
cherries are ripe" sarcastically observed
Benson as the work went on. Yes, [
see," was the reply, "and it reminded
me that if the space was reduced your
cat couldn't reach through and pick my
raspberries." A deep and profound
silence followed.-Fulton Times.
WE feel better and calmer now. We
are not entirely "cam," but we make it
point, if we can't be cam, to be as cam
as we can. But we were the maddest
men about five minutes ago. Too mad
to do anything but stamp up and down
and howl and swear and cry for gore
We wrote something about two months
ago about Hamlet and the mother queen,
and just now learned that as the article
appeared in the paper, it said "mother
Green" And by this time the compost
tor who did it is in Texas. Far, far
away from the loving arms that reach
out and yearn for his hair and vitals.-
Haockeye.
LITTLE May had been on visit to
some of her mothers friends in Canada,
and while there had heard the Sunday
School hymn SO well known, 'sCome, to
Jesus, He will wash you white as snow,"
etc. After her arrival at home, not
feeling in a very playful mood, she seat
ed herself in her little rocking chair and
began singing, "Come to Jesus" which
seemed to be all she could remember of
the hymn. After repeating the words
several times she was asked by her
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