The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1877-07-07
PENCIL AND SCISSORS.

DEATH opens the gate of fame, and
shuts the gate of envy after it; it un-
looses the chain Of the captive, and puts
the bondsman's task into another mans
hand.-Sterne.
AsmALI boy, who no harm apprehended,
| To the trree-top serenely assembled,
For an immature peach
That hung out Of reach
The funeral was largely attended.
A RETURNED Pompeian traveller re-
ports that he saw in one of the uncovered
temples hundreds of figures of men and
animals lying around on the pavement.
This must be mistake, figures never
lie.
THERE is hope even for members of
the New York Legislature. A man who
had sunk SO low rs to hold seat in the
Assembly few years ago, by turning
over new leaf and devoting himself to
honest industry, has risen to the high
position of captain of a baseball nine In
Kansas.
In Norway, drunkards are com PEELED
to sweep the streets. When motion
was made in the Chicago Common Coun-
Gil to adopt the Norwegian practice,
seventeen red-nosed aldermen arose,
multaneously, and wanted so know If
this glorious republic was going to be
dictated to by the effete despotisms
Europe.
IT is said that " the moon has gained
about an inch in rapidity Of motion"
within the last hundred years. This IL
no doubt true, for young men will tell
YOU that when talking at the gate with
their sweethearts the moon goes down
much quicker now than it did when
they were boys waiting to rob water
melon patch, in the dark.
AN enterprising Western editor has
invented woodcut which can, by few
ingenious transmogrifcations, be made
to serve as the portrait Of any prominent
individual whom he desires to delineate.
1t has already done good service a.
George Washington, Charley Ross, ana
the Sultan, and next week he intends TO
use it for man who is expecting ten
wear sentence as horse thief.
The hottest Of all holidays
Are those kept by ourselves,
| In silence and apart
The secret anniversaries Of the heart.
| When the full river Of feeling overfows,
Those happy days unclouded to their Close
| Those sudden ioys that out of darkness start,
As flowers from ashes swift desires to dart,
Like singing swallows, down each wind that blows
New YORK Commercial: Madame"
he remarked Che always calls his wife
Madame" when he desires to be inn
pressiye)-" when thousands are starv-
ing how thankful you should be, even in
muslins and calicoes. Every dime should
be looked after nowadays" Just then =
boy raped at the door with . fourteen
dollar box of cigars, which the speaker
had ordered sent up on mis- way home.
i, A PROSECUTING negro Baptist recently
approached a benighted Methodist
, brother in this way: You've read the
Bible, l s'pose 2" "Yes." " Well, you've
read in it of one John the Baptist,
. hasn't you?" eyes" "Well, You
never saw nothing about no John the
, Methodist, did your No." Well,
den, you see, dere's Baptists in the Bible,
but dere amt no Methodists, and the
, , Bibles on my side"
,, In the ages when our ancestors were
savages the men went on little ahead
in journeys, to fight the way through fo1
the women, who came behind with thu
! children and luggage. A survival" o
:. this ancient custom remains to the pres
! emit day among the lower classes, viii
: whom, when the husband and wife 8
! anywhere, the husband walks on abou
!. six feet before, while the wife follow
!, behind and Tugs the baby.