Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1877-09-22
OFFICIAL PAPER OF LYON COUNTY.
Published every Wednesday and Saturday
morning, BY
FRANK KEN YON.
TERMS:
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.

Sheet music-Children crying in
bed.
Shades of nigbt-Window cur
tains.
A moose paper-A marriage cer-
tificate.
The path of duty-Through the
Custom House.
The woman question-what are
the fashions?
Sherman's has just made another
march TO the Sea.
Kate Claxton is at Titusville. Oil
we'll at last accounts
The cause of woman suffrage
Scarcity of husbands.
The "milky way From the
barnyard to the pump.
Queen Victoria manages to rough
it on $4,000, 900 a year.
Cuba is short of beef.-Ex. We
never knew that beef ore.
Heavy showers. like heavy drink.
ers. begin with little drops.
Stamps are not required on notes;
but it tax "stamps" to pay 'em.
What portions of the body are
the best travellers? The two wrists.
What is that which. bv losing an
eye, has only a nose left q? A noise.
The bow of ship must be very
polite. Is the stern always severe?
The hight of sarcasm is touched
by asking loafer when he intends
to take a vacation.
Conscience, in most persons, is
like an English sovereign; it reigns.
but does not govern.
Amule always carries horseshoe
on his hind foot for luck; and he
always has good luck.
Maggie Mitchell is going to throw
her whole sole into Little Bare
foot" this coming season.
Mrs. Tilton has once more put
on gay colors and is as happy as a
bobolink on pump handle.
The latest fashionable idiocy is q
silver plate upon the baby carriage
with the little chaps name upon it.
The so year old lady who wen,
M TO the summit Of M. Washing
ton said it was summit of journey.
Lager beer has commenced to dis
appear in Japan. 1t disappears in
the same way in Germany and
America.
Kate Field says General Grant
"doesn't know one tune from
another" That is libel on great
man. He can tell pontoon from
Old Hundred.
A dealer advertises "a large stock
OF bankrupt pianos and organs. y
Now, who would wish TO purchase
musical instruments whose notes
were not good.
That was a fearful joke of Lord
,Norbury's on sentencing to death a
thief who had stolen a watch: You
made grasp at time. my lad, but
you clutched eternity"
The reason Howard ,lon't whip
the indians is, he is continually try
ing to get lick in on their rear in-
stead of giving it to them IN the
eadbasket. Bozeman Courier.
English railway corporations are
employing women as clerks at the
stations. Their experience in man
aging trains and switches probably
suggested the experiment.
"What I object to-" said Texas
horse thief, as he was about to be
drawn up, sis your hanging me
here in the sun when there's plenty
of shade close by; however, go
ahead"
You needn't "Pull down your
vest" nor "Wipe off your chin" any
more. They are going to "Give us
q rest" on those phrases now, and,
when the story becomes too elastic,
say "Put up the bars, before you
catch q cold"
A Virginia paper, discussing the
political situation, cries, "Set aside
the small mon and self-appointed
leaders. Give us a giant" Gen
tlemen, some of You hold our coat.
Now. then, what do you want done
first Fl Hawkeye.
"There is hotter land. far, fur
away. Free Press. "Wbere by
the fire they stand sizzling away.
/ Grahpic. ooh, when you both
get there, won't you make q jolly
...:-aN Cn.axl.s Oh roniol