Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-06-11

What is an excellent detergent
The writ of a Sherif's ofice-it often
deters gents.
The name of the man in Vermont who
feeds his geese on iron filings, and gath
eres steel pens, is Sharp.
A Yorkshire woman is so cleanly that
she uses two rolling pins-one for pastry,
and the other for her husbands head.
When we see man standing out with
an umbrella to keep the rain off from
his potato patch we know that he is
book farmer.
The secret of running a boarding
house successfully is to find out just
what your boarders don't like, and feed
'em lots of it.
An auctioneer recently declined to
praise some old china he was offering for
sale, saying it had already been suffi-
ciently cracked up"
Editing paper is like carrying an
umbrella on windy day; everybody
thinks he could manage it better than
the one who has hold of the handle.
An Illinois newspaper has this adver-
tisement: "Found.-A buckskin- -mitten.
If the owner will leave the other at this
Office he will greatly oblige the finder.
Some people are bound to find fault.
We once knew man who blamed the
county authorities in neighboring town
because the mile stones we're not put
nearer together.
The Moravia Register asks, "Are
American girls delicate ?" 1t depends
very much whether you offer them cocoa
nut cake and ice cream, or bar of soap
and washboard.
One curious thing in tie daily history
of any city is the mysterious disappear
ances. Another curious thing is the
fact that nine out of ten of the disap-
pearances leave board-bill unpaid.
The present elevated style of bonnet
has the great drawback that the man
who sits behind one in church thinks he
is hidden from the rest of the congrega.
ton, and never puts anything into the
contribution box.
1t is said of a very respectable ole
historic parish in Connecticut, that they
starved their minister, and are nov
about to erect a splendid monument Il
his memory. He ''asked for bread anC
they gave him stone"
1t is all very fine to laugh at WON
ans tantrums when a mouse makes it
appearance near her skirts, but a littl,
merriment should be reserved for th,
man who plays circus while June bu,
is walking up the inside of his clothin,
with the slow and measured step of
day laborer.
William" said one Quaker to anoth
er, "thee knows l never call anybod,
names; but, William. if the Governo
of the State should come to me and say
Joshua, l want thee to find me the big
. gest liar in the State of New York.
would come to thee and say, William
| NNN NN'NAhOA WoAoo W oSC bucC pal OAN
ularly.'"
Speaking of patchwork, woman o
Court street has quilt in 573,29
pieces. She spread it out in the yard
air, and puppy dog played it was
bear. The puppy has been unwell since
and the woman spends good deal {
time in the yard waiting for him to com
out from under the house. There wi
be some more of this item when he come
: out.-R0me Sentinel
} An old pioneer, who believed tn;
''what was to be would be-" lived in
: region infested by Indians. He alway
took his gun with him, and once, findir
that some one of his family had borrow
. ed it, be would not 60 without it. H
! friends rallied him, saying there was I
danger Of the Indians, as, anyhow,
would not die till his time came. "Yes
said old leather-stocking, "but suppO
i was to meet an Indian. and his tin
was come, it wouldn't do not to ha