The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-05-10
1sENsH AND N0NpENS!E.

a fARLIA0ENTA6X kOWE-tQ0 men eONx
msde . motion 70 LAY % the table,
ksaAk. s. IL / {ASs@sI& j Ii j
TIE saddcst moment Of . boys life i
lWo11ae C31snDrsmR9i 1lEikao sNpsAn3ho
hasn't any ticket to 60 In.
r e WILIIAl1," said Emeline, what do
ERp9 see in those Wild, wild waves r
"Uea foam," CURLY answered William.
An ktln41 Ms oscS2 askSd 1hy.he
wore his steckingl inside out. " BecauSe
there i / hola inthe othr side. !" he Sre-
piled.
81 AN astcnished, my dear young lady;
1t your sentiments; you make me START
Well, / have been wanting you to start
for the last hour"
"HERE, james, salre this key, rope led.
der and parachute, and show the gentle.
man mn toll 1854. Lunch ct two .. m. air.
II you can't sleep - 's}h
THERE isn't any Centennial this year,
but Philadelphia sends out generous lnvi-
tations for people to come there and spend
money seeing where the Centennial was.
A SOMEWHAT simple woman WAS asked
whether her husband feared God, and re.
piled: ~ guess he does, for he never goes
out on Sundays without taking his gun with
him."
A MINISTER who had twice married the
same couples divorce ensuing between
the two marriages-remarked that he didn't
wish to add repairing department to his
business.
SUGAR is . sign of being ripe-in ap-
Piles, in pears, in fgs, In men. Some men
think they are ripe because they are acid /;
that may do for cranberries, but not for
men.-BsocAer.
SOME baseball players are paid larger
salaries than ministers of the Gospel. but
we have not yet hearde q minister offering
to exchange places with baseball player.
-NosrtstOsen Herald. i
81 AN afraid it's mixed goods," said
the lady to the clerk. 20, no, madame,
impossible, )" replied Sle polite gentleman,
"all our camel's-hair shawls are made OF
pure silk direct from the worm"
"HAvE you any boned turkey.'' asked
. hungry customer in q Nevada restau-
rant. The proprietor laid his hand on his
revolver, and cried, mo insinerations
here, young man. We're honest here,
and don't bone nothin'."
AMERICAN boots are selling in London
at fifty cents less . pair than In our own
country. But the price will have to fall
at least another half dollar before it will
pay us to 60 to London to buy American
boOts.-NOrristOsen HerGld.
THE report that Tom Thumb has grown
to be six.footer within the last three
months by simply sitting under blue glass
proves 10 be q canard. One can 'ardly
believe half the stories one sees about bllll
glass. anyhow.-Norri2ossA Herald.
A WOMAN last winter entered a store II
Connecticut, and sat down in front of an
iron safe to warm her feet. After sitting
some twenty or thirty minutes, she re
marked that she 'snever did like them kind
of stovcs-they don't throw out scarcely
any heat, those gas-burners don't"
THE Massachusetts, papers are discussing
the question May Cousins Marryr w
should hope 50. We don't see why I
cousin hasn't as good . right to marry q.
. brother, or an uncle, or q son or sister
They all get used to cousin after the1
marry, Observation-Disclosures Hook EyS
In fashionable family the wort
"style" is often used, and such distinc
ton given to it that the youngest-ac chile
of six or scven-on retiring for the night
was heard to make this addition t.
/" Now I lay me down to Sleep: "Gol
bless dear papa and mamma, and oh, deal
Lord, make US very stylish"
THE unprlnclpled scientist who has dis
covered new variety of cockroach Il
Florida probably would not have expend
ed any labor in such research if he hat
ever been in . newspaper Office and seel
one of the old standard kind rise up owe
the top of mucilage bottle and inquir'
If there were any new discoveries at My
cene.-Nor,oisA Bulletin.
A FEMALE from the country called fol
. WEIGH rarebit at Washington stree
restaurant, and denounced the waiter be-
cause there was no part of rabbit in tn,
dish served. "And no later than yester
day." said the wearied waiter, Their,
was man in here who growled because
there was q hare in the butter; cam
please 'em all anyway."-Bostos BSllesis
DEATH from hydrophobia is painful
according to an authorities; but friend,
of the afflicted At least; may have the con
ISOLATION. Of knowing that the dog, undel
ordinary circumstances, is noble ami
NAL, and the friend of man. Even thil
comforting reflection IL now In some In
stances to be snatched away; for the ca
Is developing ability - maker OF mad
ness, and the cat, everybody knows, L
neither . noble animal nor friend o.
man, whatever women may think Of tn,
subject Chicago Tribune.
A YOUNG man having claim Of fifty dol
lars to collect, took 1t to . lawyer The latter
upon inquiring, no sooner heard that hi
clients name was George Jones, than b.
seized him by the hand, fervently shool
it, exclaiming: "My dear fellow, how
fortunate You arel Why, I know you
father well; in fact, he was my firstclient
/ shall take particular pains for you II
this matter" A few days later the younl
man received . note frvm the lawyer, II
| forming him that the collection had beez
made. He called upon him and va
handed Z roll Of bills ~ he was count
ing them the lawyer reiterated his remari
about the young mans good fortune II
coming to him, Who knew his father, etc
Tho young man, however, looked any
thing but happy, for he found but fiftee1
dollars in the roll. The lawyer, noticing
this, said: :. Why, my dear fellow, wha
seems to be troubling you - "Oh, moth
ing" the young man replied, I" nothing
was only thinking how lucky I am tbs
you didn't know, my grandfathef. "-Rs
|yl' The Cars Manifesto. e ].
| Tho fy~er ~ Rnsai. has isa,,A1 AJ,n Ell