The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-08-31
MI i ella ne O N g.
BACHELOR boobies,

Mr. Julius Boobies is on Independent
gentleman. In his youth he entered a
large commission house down town as err
rand boy. BY industry, and certain
amount OF cunning, he raised himself, step
by step, to the position of confidential clerk.
During his clerkship, ho managed, by
several little successful speculations on his
own hook, to amass n fortune. And, after
thirty-five years hard service in the en-
ploy of Messrs. Salem & Co., ho retired
from the cares of confidential clerkship.
In appearance, Mr.. Boobies was not an
Adonis-O, no, he was fat, forty seven years
of age and had bald place on top of his
head, which he endeavored to conceal by
carefully brushing his hair over it. He wore
no beard or moustache, and considered all
who did no better than they should be-
During the latter part of his business ca
reer he caused the discharge of no less than
seventeen clerks who insisted upon wear
ing moustaches.
Mr.. Boobies was very particular about
his dress. He always wore black, winter
and summer, the sombreness of which
was relieved by white waistcnat and
neckcloth. There is not a man New
York, or out of it for that matter, That has
ever seen speck on the one or q wrinkle
on the other. Mr.. Boobies has been known
to send shirt back to the washerwoman
five times, simply because there was min
ute stain on the wristband. The muddiest
day never caught Mr.. Boobies with a spot
of mud on his highly polished calfskin
boots
The junior clerks used to say that "old
DoIl how ~ af
cealed somewhere, and flew over the pud-
dies and crossings After good deal OF
inquiry, / have not been able to find out
whether such was the case or not, but I
have every reason to believe that it was
an error on the part of the junior
clerks.
Mr.. Boobies missed the pleasure of bust
ness, for business to him was pleasure, and
became melancholy.
One morning as he was taking his soli-
tary breakfas which consisted of one pot
of tea, two slices of toast and two eggs,
(Mr. Bobbles's breakfast was the same ali
the year roundD beloolsed around his room
and heaved deep sigh.
Now, there is nothing very wonderful in
man signing, you say True, Mr.. Bob.
bless sigh was a peculiar sight was
like the explosion of bad firecracker; and
again, there was meaning in Mr.. Bob.
bless sigh.
Julius" he began, mentally addressing
himself, "you ought to get married--you
want somebody to look over your linen
and see that your toast is properly done
for the last three mornings Mrs. Wigley
has burnt it. You can afford it, julius
and you are not ugly, Julius, far from it
All you cunning dog you," and Mr.. Bob
bles playfully shook his finger ut the re-
Election of himself
"What will people say, at your marrying
Juliuss Pooh I don't care what they
| say. Jilson got married the other day
and he's ten years older than am, ant
not half so rich. Pity you have not mixet
more in society, Julius, for / really dom
know how to choose. Who shall choose
you rascal ~ and Mr.. Boobies struck him
self gently twice upon the chest.
"Poor Fanny" sighed Boobies, while
tear stole into his eye. ~ had no ide,
when we parted that I loved you so much
Why was / not richerl o, nonsense
was five and-twenty them" and Mr.. Bob
bles threw piece of toast at fly, tina
was about to commit suicide in the mill
lug.
Mr.. Boobies was one of those men VIII
have not the moral courage to marry O.
eight hundred year. Poor fool, he brok
poor girls heart, and is fussy old bach
Aelor himself in consequence.