The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1877-06-21
AN IMPECUNIOUS CAPITALIST.
A Man Who Liked the Town but Couldn't
stand n Landlord UP For His Dinner.

StuuU u UP
A gentleman with his coat tail pockets
full of baggage strolled into the office of
the Gorham House and registered in a
bold, free hand the name of "Aristar-
chus II. Desplaines, Crestline, Ohio.
Then he lazily picked up a toothpick
and leaned gracefully up against the
counter and nodded affably at Andrews,
who wore on his usually placid brow the
expression of man who is anxious to
have something to hold. Mr.. Desplaines
apparently failed to notice this express
sion, and said, with sudden glow of
enthusiasm:
81 like this town."
No one dissented, and the stranger,
after moments pause, to allow the
sentiment to impress itself on his audi
ence, went on:
eyes, sir, l like this town. There is
an air of enterprise, of activity, Of rest
less progress and tireless industry about
it that invites investment. The streets
these people have hewed out of the solid
rock; the elegant business blocks that
have risen from the pathless Wilderness
the ceaseless hum of machinery and
stroke of the hammer call loudly for
Eastern capital to come here, and, hand
in hand with labor, coin new and added
wealth out of the rugged rock, the mine,
the quarry and the loom. Yes, sir, l
like this town. This is the place where
my money stops"
The stranger paused again. Most of
the audience had ceased to chew their
toothpicks and were looking at the orator
with an air of interest Mr.. Andrews
brushed an imperceptble grain OF dust
from the sleeve of his coat and softly
whistlcd bar from the Bohemian
Girl" Mr.. Desplaines continued
60 Yes, sir, I do like this town. /
hadn't been here half an hour, hadn't
talked with dozen business men, before
said: Here is the place" know the
spirit-of this town. And it isn't only a
live, but it's safe town. l can put my
money INTO any one of the half dozen
enterprises that have been brought 70
my notice here and turn it at eight per
cent. every year. Safer and more pro-
ftabie by far than the wild spirit OF
speculation so rife in most other cities,
that promise the operator twenty per
cent. but give him naught but ruin.
And L will-what ?" he added, suddenly
glancing at the clock, "half-past one
already? How the time has slipped by.
I had nearly talked away my dinner. The
way to your dining-room, if you please, u
he added, little haughtily, as a man
not accustomed to ask for things, but at
tended by servants who anticipated his
requests and orders.
The clerk, instead of flying around
and marshaling Mr.. Desplaines to the
dining-room, merely glanced at the capi-
talist's clothes, and murmured the GUS
tomary remark about the duties OF
baggageless guests requiring them to
deposit something before banqueting.
What ?" shouted Mr.. Desplaines,
"you want me to pay in advance Me
Me? Pay in advance? Why, dash youl
impudence, I'll buy your beggarly little
town and have it moved into the river.
Pay in advance Here, give me q
blank check book, somebody. I'll drain
your miserable little village banks so dry
they can't change q ten-cent piece for
three months to come. Porter bring
down my trunks and boxes and carry
them over to the other hotel Take them
to the depot and carry my card to the
president of the rolling mills and tell
him to dine with me at the Palmer in
Chicago next Thursday. I'm off. I'm
out of this poverty stricken town by the
first train that will carry me-"
And half an hour afterward Mr..
Desplaines was seen walking across the
bridge, comfortably eating a piece OF
bread andchewing a raw onion, regard,
ing with lofty disdain the policeman who
stood at the end of the bridge, and
warned him further away.-BurlingtOn
H0lDkehe