, 1877-12-21
Wit and HnnOr.

sltNN, bht ~ oI""AiN"'''
"TuE point is just tins, says the Sub
lime Porte, 81 am Turkey, and Russia
wants to do the gvbbling.'
A LITTLE girl, in describing a man
whom she noticed in shoes but not socks,
said lie was barefoot with shoes on.
WHATEVER else may be said against
the Chinese no one can truthtulIy say
that he ever saw one who parted his hair
in the middle.
VEN some man slape me on der shouI-
der und says, 81 vas glad to hear you vas
vell," und den sticks behind my back
his fingers to his nose, | hev my opinnn
of dot weller.
IT is suggested that one reason why
Caltornians hate Chinese so is because
the latter introduced the fashion OF nav
ing shirts washed at least once per week.
Free Press.
THE following announcement appeared
recently in an English paper: "St Jamess
Cburch-On Sunday next the afternoon
service will commence at half-past three,
and continue until further notice"
A LITTLE girl was teaching her little
brother the Lords Prayer the other night,
and when she had said, "Give US this day
our daily bread, he suddenly called out:
"Pray for syrup, too, sister, pray for
syrup, too"
ONE day Rowland Hills chapel, with a
thinner attendance than usual, suddenly
filed during shower of rain. He said:
81 have often heard of religion being
used as a cloak, but never before as an
umbrella.".
AN old farmer, on being asked why a
peacock that was strutting through the
yard was like figure 0, couldn't see the
resemblance; but light broke in on him
when he was told that it was nothing
without its tail.
A TEACHER, after reading to her
scholars story Of generous child,
asked them what generosity was. One
little boy raised his hand and said, II
know; it's giving to Others what you don't
want yoursef.'
A RICH but parsimonious and very old
gentleman, on being taken to task for
his uncharitabeness, said, "True, don't
give much; but if you only knew how it
hurts me when l give anything, you
wouldn't wonder"
A MEDICAL journal gives the antidotes
to number of poisons, and adds
"These remedies must be given before the
doctor comes" BY all means. Give the
patient at least one chance for his life.
-LOuispiHg COurLer-,JOurn1L
A PROFESSOR was one day walking
near Aberdeen, when he met a we'll
known natural" "Pray," said the pro.
fessor, show long can man live without
brainsW IL dinna ken," said Jeremy,
scratching his head, show auld are ye
yersel'2"
A LITTLE girl, who was sent to the
pasture to drive home the cows, fell and
was severely scratched and bruised. On
returning home she was asked if she
cried when she fell. "Why, no." she re.
piled, "what would have been the use2
There was nobody to hear me-"
"AND where was the man stabbed2"
asked an excited lawyer Of physician.
'"The man was stabbed about an inch and
a nail 70 t ;ne ieit VI 'ae aneniHm l,ne ana
the reply. "0h, yes, understand now;
but thought it was near the town.hall."
A DrrcuN,N in deocrihino q mir of
borses that he had Lost said. ev was
ferv much al;ke esneciaIIv tba Of one
Won lookt 90 mich Iiks both could not
toll tother from which. when T wont
srtor ana olwovo cotcbod tho othar
and whipped the one most dead because
the oder kicked me-"
"JEANNrrn said n venerable Cameron
ian to his da',ohter who was asking his
consent to accomnanv her urgent ana fa,
vorite su;tor n tbe altar uJssnnie IL loo
verv solemn thinr to oct married y nI
know II father y reolied the senaible dam.
sell: "bnt il is \ GREAT deal solemner not
~ !, ~ ~ e''' N'' ''''
- 49,.
"GoT all kinds OF ties hereE" said
l.. III