The Rutland daily globe. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1873-1877, 1877-08-29
GFrom the Montreal Gazette.l
THE TERRORs OF TAXATION.
Some Of the Complications that Puzzled the
Collectors,

Some Of the Complications that Puzzled the
Collectors.
Mr.. Slingsby, our assessor and tax col
lector, holds on, too. He is another model
member of the civil force. The principal
characteristic of Mr.. Slingsby is enthusi-
asm. He has an idea now that whenever a
man gets anything new it ought to be
taxed, and he is always on hand to do the
service. l had about fifteen feet added to
one of my chimneys last spring; and when
1t was done Slingsby called aud assessed ii
under the head improved real estate" and
collected two per cent. on it. A few days
later, while was standing by the fence,
Sngsby came up and said
beautiful dog you have there"
Eyes it's q setter"
Indeed A setter The tax on settlers is
two dollars. I'll collect it now while |
have it on my mind"
settled the obligation and the next day
Slingsby came round again. He opened
the conversation with the remark
"Bllly JOINTS told me at the grocery store
that your terrier had pups"
eyes"
"A large litter ?"
"Four."
"Indeed ! Less see tax is So; four
times two is eight-yes, So tax if you
please. And hurry up, too, if you can, for
they have a new batch of kittens over at
| Baldwine, and l want to catch old Bald
win before he goes out. BY the way, when
| did you put that weathercock on your new
stable 2"
yesterday"
"You don't say Well, hold on, then.
Four two are eight, and four-on the
westhercock, you KNOWS twelve.
Twelve dollars is the exact amount
"What do you mean by 81 tax on a
weathercock? / never heard of such a
thing
"Didnt hey? Why, she comes under
the head of scientific apparatus. She's put
up there to tell which way the wind blows,
amt she2 Well, that's scientific intell-
gence, and the apparatus is liable to tax. II
"Mr. Slingsby, this is the most absurd
thing ever heard of. You might just as
well talk of taxing Butterwick's twins
"Butter--. You don't mean to say
that Butterwick has twinsp Why, certain
ly, they are taxable. They cone in under
the head of poll tax. Three dollars apiece.
I'll go right down there. Glad you men,
toned it," Then l paid him, and he left
with Butterwick's twins on his old memo
randum book.
A day or two afterward Slingsby called
to see me, and he said
"lve got case that bothers me like
thunder. You know Hough, the tobacco
mist Well, he's just bought wooden In.
dian to stand in front of his store. Now
| have strong feeling that ought to tax
that figure, hut | don't know where tc
place it. Would it come 10 as 'statuary 2
Somehow that don't seem exactly the
thing. l was going to assess it under the
head of idols but the idiots who got uI
this law haven't got word in reference tc
idols. Think of that, will you? Why
We might have Paganism raging all over
the country, and we couldn't get cent on,
Of them. I'd put up that Indian under
craven images, only 1t amt mentioned ell
Their. / suppose l could tax the bundle OF
wooden cigars in his hand as tobacco
but that leaves out the rest OF the figure
and he's not liable to poll-tax, because he
can't even vote. Now, how would II
strike if levied on him as an emigrsnt
He was made somewhere else than here
and he came from there, consequently he's
an omigrant That's my view. What dc
you think OF it2"
advised him TO try it upon that plan
and the next morning Slingsby and Mr.
Hough had fight on the pavement II
front OF the Indian because Mr.. Slingsby
tried to seize the immigrant for unpaiC
taxes. Slingsby was taken home and put
to bed, and the business of collecting wai
temporarily suspended. But Slingsby will
be around again soon with some new ant
ingenious ideas that he has thought of dur
ing his illness.