The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1877-06-07
John jumpers Gold Mine
BY RALPH ROYAL.

1t was shame, SO it was, and every
body said SO, that John Juniper, Esq. g,
bachelor and attorney. .at-law, did not
marry his cousin, Nancy Juniper.
She was past thirty, 1t was true, and
did have a spider waist and corksc screw
curls, and the milkman who daily de-
livered to her q pint of rather watery
lactesl fluid, declared that she had a
sharp tongue; in which opinion he
was sustained by the butcher and the
green grocer. But what of that was
not John forty, wasn't the crown OF
his head as bald as that of our nation
al bird of freedom, and wasn't he a
iussy, pcevish fellow, always ready to
find fault with the dainty meals which
Nancy with her own hands prepared
Tor him.
For Nancy, you must know, was
Johns housekeeper. and always had
been so, ever since her parents had
aud she had left the old farm in Con.
necticut to keep house i'm New York
for her cousin.
Everyb body said that it was sure to
be u match, for they seemed to be as
if made for each other; but here ten
years had rolled by and never word
OF love had passed Johns lips, and
she, poor girl-well, If she had Sc
cret she Kept it carefully concealed in
her breast, and only the milkman, the
butcher, and green. grocer, wondered
why it was that she became crosser to
them every day. For to John she was
very amiable, and the more he scOlded
her the more care she took in prepar-
ing meals, looking alter his linen.
sewing buttons on his shirts, darniDg
his stockings, and presenting him a
new pair of slippers/of her own hand
work every Christmas.
And all the time stupid old John
went on with his pet,fogging, bscom-
ing crustier and crustier, with his
pleadings, and papers and tiresome
law books, taking all the comforts of
an ord erly and well-regulated house
hold as matters of course, and not
dreaming that his cousin was signing
her life away in hopeless love for him.
But the time came when patience
ceased to be a virtue, and then Nancy
sorrowfully abandoing all hopes of
ever realizing her dream, Indignantly
threw up her position as housekeeper
and returned broken-hearted to her
farm in the land of wooden nutmegs.
The way in which it happened was
as follows:
John had what he called his sane
tum sdnct oEuna, that is a room all lit.
tered with scraps of paper, books, odds
and ends OF wearing apparel, old UNI
brellas, shoes and the dust of ages.
10 this apartment he invariably re.
tired In the evening after supper, and
there he would remain, smoking O
nasty pipe and reading his reports till
late in the night, while Nancy In the
sitting room below was fairly dying
with lonesomeness and ennMi.
Once or twice she had had glimpse
into the interior OF this ''plg sty," as
she called it; aud all the New England
blood in her veins had risen in
revolt al the untidiness and uncleanli.
ness which she beheld but no prayers
or pleadings on her part were sufli
cient to obtain from him the key
which he jealously carried about him
on his person.
What then was her joy TO discover
one morning that he had absolutely
gone down town and forgotten tht
precious key in the lock.
Instantly summoning the servant
she had brooms, brushes, pals plenty
OF hot water and soft-soap brought in
| TO the sanctum. and the two womei
rinning up their skirts aud BARN.
their arms to the elbows, set about I,
accomplish Il task almost as Difficult
rs the herculcan one of cleansing tn
Augean stables.
But, oh, horror!
While Nancy and the servant wer
both on their knees scrubbing the bar
floor as if for dear life, John sudden
ly appeared at the doorway struc
dumb, rooted to the spot with indie
nation and surprise.
He had missed his key and had re
turned home in haste to get it.
1t took several moments for him I
recover the use of his speech.
Madam roared he, at length, ID
you know what you are doing?'
'Trying to bring order out of th
chaos calmly replied she pourin
half a pailful of soapy water over tn
floor.
DO you want to give me my deaf