The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-06-02

-" Mary! l do not approve of your
entertaining your sweetheart in the
kitchen" said lady to her servant.
Well, ma'am, it's very kind in you to
mention it. But he's from the country,
you see, ma'am; and Pm afraid he's too
shy and orkard in his manners, ma am,
for you to like him to come up into the
parlor" replied Mary.
Now is the time to trot out the old
woman who has made piece of patch
work with 97,307, 1854, 537 pieces, don't
wear glasses, and can bite off the end of
her thread with her natural teeth, who
has always taken her two cups of strong
green tea three times day, snuffs mac
caboy once in fifteen minutes, and has
seventeen great-grandchildren. Boston
AdgertiSer.
The will of the late Judge Connolly,
of New York, is being contested ON the
ground of his incapacity, and the ques
ton of his personal habits is of course
involved. One witness testifies that he
was strictly temperate man up to noon
of each day, and nothing could induce
him to take a glass of liquor before
twelve o'clock, but he might sometimes
be seen standing, watch in hand, wait
ing for the moment that relieved him
from his selfimposed constraint.
The other day one of the editors of
the HACK Eye cut out of an Eastern paper
a map of the Russian war, and hung it
on a hook for reference. One of the
compositors, prowling about for copy,
got hold of it, thought it was an edi-
torial article and set up column and
half on "a new plan for funding the
national debt" before the foreman dis
covered what he was at and killed him.
Haaok Eye.
Before the Seventh Cavalry left the
garrison, the other day, to go in search
of the Indians, Lieut.. De Rudio's company
(E) was presented with new colors by
Mrs. Sturgis. The Colonel said: Lieut..
De Rudio, l want to see you bring this
back with you" De Rudio replied: 81
will if l have to wade up to my neck in
blood" Col. Sturgis's son Jack, a COM
panion of Gen. Custer, fell in the battle
of the 25th of June. He was in com
mand of Company E, and its members
are expecting to avenge his death this
summer
-" A Lover" writes us: "Suppose I
see young lady home from church. and
the night is dark and rainy, and upon
arriving at her house she darts through
the door without saying as much as
Goodnight leaving me standing out
side-what would you advise me to
do in such a case?" You had better
start for home Immediately, if you have
an umbrella. Under no circumstances
should you stand on the steps of the
young lady's house all night. 1t would
be preferable to crawl into the nearest
friendly store box and wait for daylight
to appear or the rain disappear.-Norris-
toton Herald. .
"A young lady employed in the largest
dry goods establishment in the city
tainted from over, exertion a few days
ago, and while she was in swoon the
proprietor came up to where she was
lying, surrounded by a sympathizing
crowd of customers, and, with a great
flourish, sent a messenger out for a cab
to take her to her home. The girl was
confined to her home for day, and
when the end of the week arrived and
she got her envelope from the cashier of
the store containing her weekly wages,
she was surprised to find that there was
but one dollar in it. Her stipend was
but six dollars per week. When the
cashier was asked for an explanation he
said that five dollars had been taken out
for carriage hire.-PhilGdelphia North
american.