The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-08-25
VARIETIES.


Wisconsin.
Auburn Prison has forty lawyers and
three printers.
The path of duty-Through the
Custom-House.
Last year America exported 1909
reapers to Europe.
Adam and Eve were the first boy and
girl to 60 stealing apples.
Plaid stockings are among the new
styles in bon ton hosiery.
-Plows are our chief agricultural ex-
port to South America.
"A Providence firm make 127 differ
ent styles of shell brooches.
Texas wheat, it is said, weighs
sixty five pounds to the bushel.
Marrow bands of black velvet are
much worn on the feminine hair.
Tartar women have pretty eyes, at
least the cream of Tartar women have.
What is the nearest thing to cat
looking out of window? The window.
What color is a small boys face apt
to turn when he goes to the dentists? A
loud yeller.
-"rm yard wide and all wool" is
the Kentucky way of describing high
state of hilarity.
1t is stated that the United States
Government still owns one-tifth of all
the land in Alabama.
A whiting school" has been set
up in Boston. The object is to teach the
wood carver's trade.
p The proverb "out of sight out of
mind" is nowhere more applicable than
in the case of an advertisement.
The tramps complain that the wom-
en- of Iowa don't know how to make
blackberry pies as well as they used to.
Woman was never made to whistle,
and when she tries it makes her whole
countenance look as if 1t had declared
war.
1t is claimed by friends that DR..
Theopolis Clark, of Tinmouth, VT, aged
ninety-seven, is the Oldest physician in
existence.
-Stonewall jackson once declared
that he was fonder of whisky than any
other man in the army, but he never
touched it,
George w. Young, of West Paris,
Me-, was oisoned by rubbing an abra-
sure on the neck with his finger, after he
had been killing potato bugs, and died
in few hours.
A New England philosopher says he
can't find out where the air leaves off and
the earth begins. Let him fall back
ward from fence and he'll soon find
out.-Detr0W Free Press
A Washington clairvoyant told the
Hartford Times correspondent that the
people of Boston were more easily hum
plugged by persons of her calling than
those of any other city in the United
States.
Mrs. Brown has been accustomed
every summer for the past thirty years
to tell Mr.. Brown not to sit in his shirt
sleeves, and for the first time that amia-
BILE man has retorted: " How can a man
sit in his shirt sleeves?"
-" Prompt and vigorous measures
against the tramps" are demanded by
the Paterson On. J.) Press, which says
" the tramp is fast changing from beg
carly and disgusting object to a danger
Gus brigand."
Two Boston parties who have traded
in dogs for more than thirty years, one of
whom has had 5000 dogs pass through
his hands, and the other still more, say
they have never yet seen a well.detined
case of hydrophobia.
-"Then you won't lend me that dime
novel, eh?" inquired one boy of another
in the Postotfice on Saturday. No, l
won't" All right, then; next time our
chimney burns out you sha'n't come into
the yard and holler."
In a French railway-car a gentle
man remarks to lady sitting opposite:
is tobacco disagreeable to you?"
"Not at all, sir" (the gentleman ex-
presses satisfaction)- y" when it is in the
form of snuff" continues the lady.
Another day has come and gone,
leaving US all older and wiser, but as
yet no communications have been
received indicating that one has dis
covered a man who can drink out of
spring without getting the end of his
nose wet.-FultOn Times.
1t is reported that near San Diego,
Cal, tombstone inscription thus reads
This yere is sakrid to the mamory of
William Henry Skaraken, who calm to
his deth by bein shot by Colts revolver
one of the ole kind, brass mounted,
and of such is the kingdom of heaven"
"A fashion item says BLACK velvet
belts, embroidered with violets, are the
latest thing around the girl of the peri
DDS waist" But we don't believe they
are around il much later than young
mans arm-on Sunday nights particu-
larly.-NorriSt0aon Herald.
The young ladies of Newark, N. J.,
who belong to temperance organizations,
pledge Themselves not to associate with
young men who use intoxicating drinks.
These young ladies belong to wealthy
families, and their influence is being felt
by the young men, some of whom have
signed the pledge rather than lose the
society of the fair temperance advocates.
SHE GOT 1T.
He wiped his heated brow, he did,
His brow so intellcctual;
But all she said about the heat
Was sadly Intellectual.
Rut she sweet lass did saw IN hin,