The Republican journal., 1877-03-08


correspondent in last week. journal who gallant
ycame to my in the matter of the trap set for
the unwary in the hail. on the night Of the lecture
by Gov Crosby. presume that | the party re
terred to the victim Of the trap, as met with
disaster there that came near running my usefulness
fully endorse your pondent in everything he
says regarding practical joking, and l cannot but
| feel pleased that he took up the gauntlet prompt
| ly for me, though did NOT intend making the
| ter any public than it already was; but since
he has alluded TO IT, II you viii allow me | will rise
| and speak in meeting.
| | entirely eNonerHte the committee from setting
the trap, in fact am positive that no trap set
but that uninteutionaliy 1 was caught by Something
which Mt the time ! mistook for earthquake, I
will admit. also forgive my friends for laughing
| at my misfortune, as placed in the same position
| they Were | nm confident that should have laugh
ct. unless had been stuffed full of calcned plaster
| and nickel plated outside however | wish Ii dis
! tinctly understood that | do not have any connrc
| ton with the lecture bureau, not drawer,
ANA that do not gV there to furnish amuse ment OF
| any kind. am exclusively engaged on the Journal
| at so much a column, which does not include my
| spinal column, that being the source of amusement
! ON that occasion. But let me tell you how il was
| Just as the speaker mad' his dive into the lecture
slowly tiptoeu my way to the rear settee TO take
| seat. IL was LnOccplrd, and looked as tree from
guile as sitting hen ltwas settee OF the Crceprr
breed, short legged, and appeared the embodiment
| OF health and strength. i GU know when Won arr
going down stairs IN the dark and there is more
| step tlan you ar" aware Of with what velocity Won
take that step, and how suddenly and forcibly you
bring up? II Is the same way in sitting down; YOU
| gnage me distance in your mind, and you drop the
| two extra inches with the energy OF trip hammer
| Alas tor the deceltiulnesS OF Appearances That
healthy looking Settee was an Invalid Il was veal
IN the knees, and rs treacherous as banana skin.
| 1t came the nearest to idea of the Internal ma
chine for the radiance of the newspaper office loater
| of anything have yet seen. "A person once caught
| by it would never make his appearance in that N
| entity again. l doubled myself up to sit down; ~
/ touched the seat it seemed TO vanish from under
| me- as if | had sat down shadow; it swayed ami
| creaked and tipped backward, and my head disap
peared the sun sinks beneath the horiz ION, and
pair of button boots followed by flicker of stock
ing and pair OF legs, rapidly and msjesticay rose
over the heads of the audience and waved abont a.
| .Iemina wilkinson waved the scalpng knife OF the
indian chief, and gyrated and spread ana closed
| again for an instant. and then disappeared FROM
| sight and the settee, with groan, tottered and
| fell, and II man rapidly gathered himself together
and was the man. And feeling as though | had
| swallowed a pair of twins and their parents were
| looking for them meeky wandered toward the
door and seated myself once more, with better sue
cess. And this is all
| When contemplate what might have been the
result had been DIR. Mary Walker. Barnums fat
woman or the living skeleton, my heart almost
ceases to beat. and am obliged to hire small boy
10 hoid my hair on. In the midst of life we are in
! death, ana our downsittngs and our nprisngs are
| sometimes far different from what is put down on
the bills
MIR. Editor. always interview settee with your
| mana before trusting your weight upon it.
GEO. A. QUIMBY.