The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-02-22
For the Citizen.l
Courting an Alabama Girl.

questered vale, far down where the
ringged raccoon and the 'possum
rove. Homer tuned his harp to
Troja's muse; Horace and Virgil
sang of Latin lands and heroes
Whittier of Maud Muller's bare feet
and downcast glances, but be it
mine to record the experience of a
Giles countyian in the land of state
ly blackoaks and waving broom
sedge.
The State l refer to adjoins the
Volunteer, and the county in which
my lamp of life burned with such
fitfuI glare is not'far from Heaven
blessed Giles. 1t is county which
will be left thinly populated after
the fool killer passes through it, but
any further description of the same
| forbear.
The cause which induced me to
pitch my tent in this forgotten part
of the great vineyard will never be
known, not even to myself, until
that great day when the secrets of
all hearts shall be ruthlessly torn
from their hiding places. II seems
that stray and crooked thunder
bolt from the gulching cannon OF
fate knocked me there in spite of
the remonstrance of my guardian
angel, and being an old bachelor,
with none to love me, none to ca
ress me, / concluded to remain a
short time, and, Eliminating over my
experience while there, will serve to
while away many an hour in the far
away future, as ] sit by kitchen fire,
dreary, desolate and alone.
As you doubtless infer from the
gloomy strain OF my letter, 1 have
been a lone and joyless wanderer;
have roamed meath many skies;
have stemmed many laundering
floods; retreated from many battle
fields, uud never she'd a drop of
blood in delcns.. o. !ayself or eoun
try; but worst of all, every effort 1
have made since my entrance into
this sublunary world to soften the
heart of a gentle woman, has been
as great failure as Donaldson's
balloon voyage across the ocean.
But while at the place referred to
in the prelude, l felt as certain of
marrying as Jonah was that a whale
had swallowed him, for was where
no one knew me, and, as / thought,
where the female population were
remarkably credulous and confid-
ing. At the first ball attended, 1
met the ideal of my fancy. o, she
was darling creaturel Standing
five feet, ten inches in number eight
brogans, with the snowy homespun
cotton hanging in voluminous folds
around form the sculptor of the
Venus de Medici would have en-
We'd Tor a model, she was indeed a
picture of rustic beauty and blissful
health, only thirty-siX inches of belt
encompassed her waist, and pair
of delicately knit gloves of gor-
geously colored yarn covered pair
of shapely hands, which l after
wards saw wrench corn ears from
the stalk at the rate of fiSe loads
per day; her hair was wound
around her head in knot, and was
the hue of an autumn sunset, while
in one hand she held. a gourd of
snuff and with the other vigorously
applied 1t to her teeth with hick-
ory bark brush. Reckoning to a
friend, asked him to introduce me
to the dazzling creature. He ac-
cordingly took me by an arm and
advancing to the bewildering blonde,
said, "Mr. oo-and-so, Miss Skillet
handle" She took the brush from
her mouth, and smile bright as
May sunbeam difrused itself with
quarter horse speed over the bills
and hollows of her face. "Ugh,"
she at last said, after gazing at me
for fifteen seconds in a wide open
stare, "whar you frum?" For once
did the poetry of my soul respond
to my call, and shape itself into
words. my lovely Miss, l am hap
py to say l hail from the proud
commonwealth of Tennessee, where
reposes the dust of three Presidents
of Our great and glorious Republic,
selahr' "Then you can't be much
punkins if you come from thar and
talk sich hog-latin as that" This
should have convinced me, that /
had tackled the wrong girl again,
but was determined to conquer.
reasoned to myself that men had
accomplished great and wonderful
feats, and why not L? Hercules
cleansed the Augean stables; Morse
invented the magnetic telegrah; Til
den. by shouting reform" was
elected President by grateful ma
ton, and why not l win the afec-
tions of this damsel? So l braced
myself for the conquest, and talked
to her long and eloquently, as l
thought, and pointed each word
with a love-arrow. / told her of
Balboa discovering the Pacific, of
the leaning tower of Pisa, of Mark
Twain's new book, and about how
they bulldozed negroes in Louisi-
ana, besides many other interesting
things which she appeared not to