The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1877-05-04
MR.. ,SUITH,S BOY.
HIS Startling Statements Concerning MS
Family.

Family.
A family named Smith has recently |
moved to Germantown and Mr.. Browns |
boy on Saturday leaned ever the fence
and gave to our reporter his impressions
of Mr. Smiths boy, a lad about fourteen
years old:
q Yes, me and him are right well &C
quainted now; he knows more'n do,
and he's had moreiexperience. Bill says
his father used to be a robber (Smith, by |
the way is deacon in the Presbyterian
church, and very excellent lawyer, |
and that he has ten million dollars i'll
gold buried in his cellar, along with a
whole lot of human bones, people he's |
killed. And he says his father is con-
jurer, and that he makes all the earth
quakes that happen anywhere in the |
world. The old man'll come home at !
night, after there's been an earthquake, |
all covered with sweat, and 50 tired he
kin hardly stand. Bill says it's such
hard work.
man came around there trying to sell
lightning-rods, his father got mad ct him
right up, and he takes bites out of every
body he comes acrost That's what Bill
tells me. That's all know about it.
And he told me that once he used to have
dog, one of these little kind of dogs,
and he was flying his kite, and, just for
fun. he tied the kite-string on to his dogs
rail. And then the wind struck her and
his dog went a-boomin' down the street
with his hind legs in the air, for about a
mile, when the kite Of sudden began to
go up, and in about minute the dog was
fifteen miles high, and commanding view
of California, and Egypt and Oshkosh,
think Bill said. He came down anyhow,
/ know, in Brazil, and Bill said he swum
home all the way in the Atlantic ocean,
and when he landed his legs were all
nibbled off by sharks
81 wish lather'd buy me dog, SOS
could send him up that way. But
never have no luck. Bill said that where
they used to live he went out on the
roof one day to fly his kite, and he sat
on top of the chimbly 10 give her plenty
of room, and, while ne was sitting there
and thinking about nothing, the old man
put key of powder down below on the
fireplace to clean the SCOT out of the
chimbly. And when he touched her off
Bill was blowed over agin the Baptist
church steeple, and he landed on the
weather-cock, with his pants torn, and
they couldn't get him down for three
days; so he hung there, going round and
round with the wind, and lived by eating
the crows that came and sat on him be-
cause they thought he was Cheet-iron
and put up there on purpose.
" He's had more fun than enough. lie
was telling me the other day about a
sausage suffer his brother invented. 1t
was kind of machine that works with a
treadIe; and Bill said the way they did
in the fall was TO fix it on the hogs back
and connect the treadle with a string,
and then the hog'd work the treadle and
kept on running it up and down until
the machine cut the hog all up fine and
showed the meat into the skins Bill
said ais brother called it every hog its
own suffer- and it worked splendid
But do know. Pears to mes if there
couldn't be no machine like that But,
anyway, Bill said so.
"And he told me about an uncle of
his out in Australia who was ct by a big
oyster once, and when he got inside he
stayed there until he'd ct the oyster.
Then he split the shell open and took one
for boat, and he sailed along until he
met a sea-serpent; and he killed it and
drawed off its skin, and when he got
home he sold it to anengine company for
hose for forty thousand dollars to put
out fires with Bill said that was aclu-
ally so, because he could show me man
who used to belong to the engine company
l wish father'd let me go out to find a
sea-serpent like that; but he don't let
me have no chance to distinguish myself
'Bill was saying, only yesterday, that
the Indians caught him once and drove
eleven railroad spikes through his stom-
ach and cut off his scalp, and never hurt
him a bit He said he got away by the
daughter of the chief shaking him out
of the igwam and lending him a horse.
Bill says she was in love with him, and
when I lzed him to let me see the holes
where they drove in these spikes, he said
he darsn t take off his clothes or he'd
bleed to death. He said his own father
didn't know it, because Bill was afraid it
might orry the old man.
'And Bill told me they wasn't going
to get linn to go to Sunday school. He
saws his father has a brass idol that he
keeps in the garrett, and Bill says he's
made up his mind to be pagan, and be-
gin to 90 naked, and carry tomahawk
aud bow and arrow as soon as warm
weather comes. And to prove it to me,
he says his father has the town all I'M
derlaid with nitro-giycerine, and as soon
as he gets ready he's going to blow the
old thing out and bust her up, let her
rip and demolish her. He said so down
at the dam and told me not to tell any
body, but 1 thought they'd be no harm
in mentioning it to you.
"And now I believe l must be going.
hear Bill a-whistling. Maybe he's
something else to tell me"
IN announcing that the emperor of
Germany was shortly TO celebrate the