The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1877-04-13
d, And he sobbed---be actiIlv did.

Cheer up, my lively lad" (much
lively bout him, "cheer u1," l says.
But he wOed'n cheer bit.
"Two baby carriages, two par NV shoes,
two scots NV klothes, too everything, too
much too much too much 7" And he
fairly boohOod.
Says l, Meekins, fur goodness sake
don't Civ way so-yOu'll bust the
breechin Nv 20 very soul if you kepe on
that a way"
But he KEEP on, THROWN his face down
into his hands raid, in a passhun NV
teers:
I" Dubil tile and dubil t, ubil.
| ChllduH bile and babis Dubbil."
kin stand a good deel, but my tenn
per Civ way at this. Says l, You in
furnil old son NV a f,pensapeny, if you
don't stop howlin here in the strete in
brord day lite about nuthin but twinses
| I'll ketch you by the nap NV yo neck,
| fling you into the middil NV Mills gard
ing and leave you thar mass NV frag-
mints fur boys to fling at kats with"
This stopt him. /" Ah !" he says,
"ah this ar worP NV much wind on
the stummick and skeersly nuthin in
| the breeches pockit." And with that he
shuffied off his mortal kile in the dreck-
shun NV his own house.
! 1 went to mine madd-madd with
dub'l cd" And says to my wife:
I" Did you know old Meekins had
twinses ?''
"Know ?" she says, "didn't I tell
you the very day they was borned ?''
May be you mout," 1 says, "but my
mind hav bin so gummd and glue up
with, politix and returnin bodies that
C. you bored me every item you
returned home till wist them bordes, as
you call um, was naild over your
! mouth"
"Well," says, "what doc you think
Nv it ?"
That were the wrOngest questun that
ever l axed in all my life. 1t let down
the tale-bode NV her naturally lerge
4umler cart NV elloquense, and she
drOWnded me then and thar.
Think Nv it ?'' she skreakt. ''Think
Nv it? Its the outrageousest owdashus-
est peece Nv impertinence that's bin
puppetrated in my naborhood in forty
odd year. It's sin and shame and
shOckin overwhelmin skandil tnat pepil.
pretendin to be desunt shOod act in that
way. Genteel pepil, like sum / know,
regard for sersiety than to hav um. But
l know the Meekinses Nv old. They had
um puppus-a puppus "-stompin her
foot and drappin her nittin--" jest to git
into notis and to git good things to eat.
And mo things has cum to the Meekins
since them twinses was borned than / |
got pashunce to tell about. Bread, cake, !
pies, puddins, breakfasts, dinners, ,appils, |
oranges, prunes, dux, potridges, M9llegy !
grapes-thar is old Meekins eatin sum |
this very mint"
Shure nuf, thar was old Meekins set !
tin by his sellar dore doin sum of the
dolefulest chawin you ever see.
eyes" she went on, "its delibrit,
Geep-lade plan 10 git nOtyriety and rise
in sersity. But they couldn't deseev
memo! / never encouraged twinses,
and never will. They gifts no custard
and thin biskit from this house, nor they
never won't" And then her wurds duv-
tailed aud run into one nuther that fast
that L couldn't make out nuthin she
said-nuthin but "Jib jib jib-iab iab
iab-jihjab jibjab iibjab--jibber jabber
jibberj jabber jibber jabber--whiDg whang
fling fang bing bang ding dang ling lang
ping pang ting tang ring rang--r-r r-r--
atter-clatterspatter'"
Whew 1 had heerd ny heated turn,
but here was heated turmigint NV the
wust kind with a veniunce. Jodge she
jest did leeve me the top NV my he'd and
that were all. 1 were thankful far that,
becoz / see how it were in flash--the
old 'Oman were black mad with iellus
envy NV the po' little afickted Mrs .
Meekins, a good woman as her husband
is no count.
riz. :
Madum /! f" sys I, drawin myself up
to my fool hight. ''Madum !" says in.
tones NV sopesudsa and thunder "Maduml
taint no use, NJ erthly use. l amt
Aberham," and stoopin down and pokin
my face into hern, "nor you ain Sary,
neither. So shet rite upr'
She's 60 last grass If she's a day, and
got Irish blud in her too, but she did'n l
even open her lips. She sniff me down l
With kontempt and konsintrated venum
hat druv me spang out'n the hous, and
found myself in the back poche, holrin
1t the pitch, tar and turkentime NV my !
vols, gimme ar! gimme ar fur mursy's l
AXE gimme ar" fur were neerly ded, |
hat whurlwind NV words had tux my
1reth away so.
Old Meekins's cook, LIzor, a likely
cum outn the kitchin to see
what were the matter. | reckin she thOt }
were distrackted, but old Meekins didn !
wen turn his he'd, he were so bizzy with
lis Mallegy grapes.
My son Floojins, my yungest child, |
bout nine yere old goin on ten, and |
rood boy, tho 1 say it--Floojins had
leerd his muther what she said, and fol-
in me into the back poche, went down
5he steps, sayin as ne went by !
"Doggon my skin of kats, I'll fix ;;
him."
With that he begun huntin roun the
yard till he diskivered rusty old pad
Ock, and takin good aim at AIeekins, he
ct fly, and by the Twins! he presto-ve- :
.Oed him Off"n the face of the erth. He
est blotted him rite out. Thar were the
cheer he set in, thar were his hat and
Ium few skatrin grapes, but Meekins :
vas nowhar. Floojins had wiped him It.
nto thin ar. stood def and dunn with !
for Wyman hisself never :
played trick equal 10 that.
But bimeby, ten minits by the wotch, /,
lere cum oil Meekins out NV the sellar, :
site to sea congloberashun NV blud, .,
.eers, har, eyebrows, skins, and grape :
uist, feerful to behOle. 1t were horri-
oil, but it were funny too. / lafft till ! .
leerly died, and Lizer cum out, took the /,
I'D man to the hydrant, wosht him of
With dish rag, and led him slow and
oaneiul into the hous.
This brot me to my senses and shamed :
ne SO dion know what 10 do. So /
ookt down in the yard to find Floojins. ;
Nary FloojiDs did find. But PRESENTLY ..
seen him in Mills's garding-he had
zone thar TO commune with lis own lit
lie innersent and confident sell. 1 put
IN my hand, went over to whar MIR.
Bowers, the stove man is a hildin sum
houses, gethered me peece Nv skantlin,
md lit into that FlOoiins till you
would thOt the Chesapeak & Ohier
rate trane was a cumin in ON item and a
1owlin.
1t dun me good and it dun the boy
good, but it didn't help Meekins. He
ost enuf skelp to kiver trab-bail, and |
feel so sorry for him. Tine a goin to
lake up a subskripshun NV caif-skin to
mend it. Dr. Kolemsn gays the old man
will be out in a week if the urrosipelus
don't set in and his tung don't get sore