The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1877-02-28

And went to bed.
A man in Wisconsin saved a young
lady from walking off bridge, and so
far from being grateful FOR it, she mar
ried him.
"If l were unmarried" says the
Rev. DIR. Murray, 81 would take an
amiable sinner for my wife, rather
than snappy-tempered saint"
A little girl, learning for the first
time, that eve are all made of dust,
said, after brief meditation, "Then
the black folks are made out Of coal
dust, amt theyH'
'My landlady," remarked man,
"makes her tea so strong that it
breaks the cups" "And mine," said
another, "makes hers SO weak it can't
turn out of the pot"
"You wouldn't take nae for twenty,
would you?" said young lady, who
looked much younger, to an old bach
elor. Take you for twenty u he ex
claimed: Eyes for life"
"Why, Ichabod, l thought you got
married more'n year ago" "Well,
Aunt Jerush, it was talked of but l
found the girl and all her folks were
opposed to it, and so l just gave 'em7
all the mitten and let the thing drop"
Two acquaintance meeting on a
wet day, one greeted the other with;
Beautiful rain, this Fetching things
out of the ground" Second friend dds
c5nsolately): "Hope not, sir; hope
not. Got two wives there, sir !"
Little four-year old playing With
her dolls :-"Now, you lay there, my
dear, and you lay there" Mother
"Why, Edie, you know that isn't
right; you should say lie." ooh, no,
mamma; I'm playing they are chick
ems
whats the derivation of the word
Yankee2' asked a principal of the
smart boy on visitors day. "Why
WHEN Johnny Bull tried to yank us
out of our rights replied the juven-
lie, "he acted in the capacity Of the
yanker, and the Americans conse-
quently became the yankees"
A Boston merchant not long since
telegraphsd to Calcutta at five o'clock
in the afternoon ordering the purchase
of merchandise to the value of one
hundred thousand dollars. The fol-
lowing morning at nine o'clock a re-
sponse to the order was on the mer-
chants table, prices given, rates OF
freight, etc.
A certain young gentleman with a
vermillion nose, was tormenting his
lady love about her age. "Just look
at me" he exclaimed, don't look as
though | was just out of my teens p
"Yes," she replied, with a look of tri-
umph, "if you mean canteens." Since
that time this couple have been drift
ing silently away from each other.
A school-boy was asked by hi;
teacher to give an example of earnest
ness. He looked bothered for a mo
ment, but his face frightened like the
dew-drops glistening on the leaves o
The rose in early morning, as he deliv
cred himself of the following happy
bought "When you see boy en-
gagged on miDce pie till bis nos'
souches the middle plum and his ear
troop on the outer crusts, you may
know he has got i"
A Fort Madison man went into hi
COW stable the other day, and, by mis-
take, mixed her up nice mash in ;
box full of saw-dust instead of bran
The COW, merely supposing the hart
fines had come and they were all go
ing to enconomize, meekly ate he
supper, and that man never discover
ed his mistake until the next morning
when he MIXED that COW, and she lie
down halfa-gallon Of turpentine,
quart of shoe-pegs, and a bundle O
lath.
The sea is the largest Of all GENE
teries, and its numbers sleep withou
monuments. All other grave yard;
in other lands, show some distinction
between the great and the small, tn
rich and the poor, but in the grea
pecan cemetery the king and clowr
he prince and peasant, are alike un
distinguished. The same waves rol
over all the same requiem by mir
tFeis of the ocean is sung to thei
honor. Over their remains the sam
Eorms beat, and the same sun. shines
nd there, unmarked, the weak au
eowerful, the plumed and the unhor
red, will sleep on forever.
The way they came by the name
Quincy" was this: After old ma
dams-not Adam, as it is general
ritten-was turned out of the garde