The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1877-02-22
WHOLE NO. 1549.


seltmade men are very apt 70 Wofahip
their maker.
The ladies fairly rcvel IN the sweet
buy and buy.
where to end eternal sPring-In tho
circus business
How TO make time 80 fast-Uss Tie
spur Of the moment
Next 20 diary the most diaicult thing
10 keep IL a lead pencil
They lock stove doors on railroads 10
keep the Gre from going oul
"Shure. and whore is the entrance
ouif asked an lrishman Of jAilor.
An Indian woman is a squaw. therefore
an Indian baby l. Fquawiing.
An Iowa boy sued his father. and he
got damages-with skate strap.
one tramp does not make sumner
but he makes very goodhwAllow.
a Is easy enough. bat tho last lst
ter Of tho alphabet izard- Do you z i1
An Irish agricultural Journal saya that
potatoes should be boiled IN cold water.
It's lovely dolli dear grandpa and
grandma. But-but-l'd been hoping IA
would be twins.
The most economical time 10 buv cider
10 when 4 10 not very clear. Tor then IA
viii settle for itself
We can generally tell what a mans
going 10 do next when he puts the light
ed end Of cigar into his mouth BY mia.
A smart school boy says II takes thir.
teen letters 70 spell COW, and proves ID
thus See O' double y0u."
A contemporary says Of a recent Al
tempt at suicide that the man severed
his .esoPhejus." Ho must have bad
bad spell
An exchange speaks OF the minority
sickness" Reference 10 made p.ohaliy
70 the catarrh. as II 10 disease Of the
noes
When an Allentown reporter wants 10
so sleighinF he borrows a mule and
loads bis family into one Of his gum
shoes.
In Africa breed Of sobcr.mindod does
without tails has been discovered. There
isn't a wag among them.
Have you much ish In your bar
asked person Of fisherman.
Yes, there's q good eel in a." was The
reply.
A Cincinnati swell told his tailor that
he wouldn't pay for shat last epilepsy"
u was discovered that he meant bad
Lady TO WATERFRONT put that ice into
the goblet with your fingers.
Waiter-Lor, ma'am, don't mind. Ny
hands are very warm"
passenger asked. "On which side Of
the station 10 my trainY' The attendant
"If you take the left. you will
be right. Ifyou take the right you win
be left"
What are you fencing In that lot Cor.
PaH A herd Of cattle would ntarFe 10
death on that land" And sure. your
honor. wasn't fencin' Il In 10 kApe the
poor bastes out av it1'
An old lady crossed over a bridge
marked Dangerous. without seeing the
ign. On being informed Of the fact, on
he other side, she instantly turned Ia
Ireat alarm and rccroaacd a.
A wisconsin Newspaper says The
Doard Of education has resolved 70 erect
! building large enough 10 accommodate
I've hundred students three stories
would we're q schoolmarm
A. a l..ff -
With a small boy stretched across my
And a ruler In my hand
Johnny, have you learned anything
Turing the week. aakcd q teacher ol
iveyoar-old pupil "Yeth'm" "weil,
that IL itf Never 10 lead q small trump
vhen you hold both bowers"
Good morning. Dounellyi hear your
laughter has a baby: Il Il boy or q
,irlf' ''Shure, Mas. lis mcaclf a. does
i't yet know for tho life Of mo II Ina
grandfather or n grandmother. bcdadi"
The suspension Of the Washington
throws an able bodied pair of
cissors out Of employment right In the
midst Of the hardest winter within the
Of tho oldest inhabitant.
Some time ago a member Of the coun-
y court referred 10 tho fact that he had
a verbal communication In his pocket.
md subsequently, the same justice pro-
,oaed 10 adjourn "aAs dc until ncxt
Thursday"
Pidgin Eenglish
Was gal name Moll had lam.
Fleaa all Mamee white Ruo
Evly place Moll gal walkcc
Ba, Ba, hoppee long too.
Scene, library:
Frcshman-where shall I end DAr.
wins works1
Librarian-what do you want with
Darwin
Frcshman-I want his Origin Of spe-
lies. 20 as 10 end out something about
his finance question.
A colorod preacher In Alabama puta
his foot on excessive bribery az elections
and crushes H. Dis ting. he says. 'ob
sittin 500 for vote is all wrong. tlO
i a. much a. IL IL WORT
major. see two cocktails carried 20
your room every morning. aa II you had
some one to drink with. "Ycs, sir. one
cocktail makes me feel like another man;
and. Of course, I'm bound 10 treat tho
other man"
Two sable philosophers took shelter
under the same tree during n heavy
shower. After some time, one Of them
that he felt ths rain. "Ncb-
CT mind replied the other "derc's plcn-
~ Of trees. When dis un is wet through