Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1877-08-29
ltulaOY'.

IutiiOts
The New York Commercial ADVERTISE
knows Il clergyman who gave out ior
the first hymn after his marriage: "A
charge to keep have
An exchange says, +" An Albany man
who used To live on ten cents y day died.
wealthy lie may have died wealthy,
. but we will bet money he didn't die fat,
B,alington Haukeys.
Gail Hamilton is the Mount Ncsuvi-
us of womandom." - Chicago Journal
And il is reported that no man has ever
been mean the mouth of the crater
Ner York Graphic,
What are YOU doing-kicking the
old clock all to pieces y exclaimed a
! Chicago wife. Blamed if I'm gong to
have ANYTHING around me that strikes,
yelled the mar rs he gave II a final lift
into the street.
At a duel the parties discharged their
pistols without effect, whercupon II of
the seconds interfercd and proposed
that the %comhatants should shake hands.
To this the other second objected rs un-
necessary, " For said he, their hands
have been shaking this halthour,
Aunt Emily: ''Why Nellie, don't you
know 1t is unkind 10 catch hold of your
| sister and pun her hair" Nellie (who
doesn't see i'll: "Wcll, auntie, | saw you
holding cousin Frank round the neck
quite tightly. yesterday, when N
was out, and pulling his hair, and he
didn't say anything
There was Quitca company OF iashlon-
able guests sitting round thetable alter
dinner, who happened to disagree as to
the date of n certain event oi when
they had been talking, when the hosts
| ACKNOWLEDGMENT attempted To
expedite tho solution of the problem 10y
suddenly asking; Why, mama, what
day was it You washed G
A Highland schoolmastcr was called
upon to help the great men to draw up
a petition: and, rs the chief magistrate
was some five or six feet i'll circumter-
ence, he was not II little disturbed when
he read the heading. To the mare and
body corpulcnt!"
There are no longer any Indians IN
Burlington, and the wild war whoop OF
the child Of the forest 40 more awakens
the echoes of the frowning hills, but the
town is lust swarming with book agents,
so that we don't miss the Indians so
much rs you would think.-BurhnJto"
Ha,ckew.
Il only get ninety cents II day, said
the man TO his comrades, rs he came
along from work. and how can | and
my family liv"?" They all said IT was
impossiblc for him to exist on that sum,
upon which hc invited the entire party
into the nearest saloon and treated the
crowd ut an expense of ~forty-hvc cen
A promising youth Of only seven
summers, who had been accused OF not
ALWAYS telling the truth, c~ross-cxamlncd
his father. Father, did you lie
when you were n boy?' No, my son
said the p~atcrnal, who evidently did not
recall the past with any dlSllnctnesS
"Nor mother, cithcr2" persisted the
Young lawyer. "No; but why2' "Oh,
because | don't see how two people who
never told a lie could have n boy that
tells as many rs do
The Count de X, possessing an I'M
mense fortune, becomes smittcn with II
young girl who has no marriage por-
ton. Yielding to the solicitations OF
his family, he tries to cure himself OF
his inclination. lie made several voy-
ages with the view of forgetting his idol,
but without success. At last, exclaimed
he, 81 must marry her if | wisht 10 stop
loving her. "-Paris Chd1rort.
The other day, on the Toledo, Peoria
and Warsaw tram, says the burlington
Haukeye, two elderly ladies separated at
Bushnell, and kissed each other alice
tionately. A commercial traveller, no
ticing the osculatory performance, re
marked to n colleague: Awful waste
of material, Charley" TO which Char
ley replied, obviously: "Not very; good
goods, but too long on the market. The
lines good enough, but the goods amt
the right grade"