davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1877-02-08
Doughnuts.
How the Eccentric Nevada Sena-
tor Vanquished the Senator from
Massachusetts.

How the Eccentric Nevada Sena-
tor Vanquished the Senator from
I Massachusetts.
The following story illustrates
the wit and common sense of the
Senator Nye, of Nevada:
"The question under debate
was bill to admit the Chinese to
equal privileges of citizenship,
and Mr.. Sumner had the floor.
His speech was,as usual, elaborate,
studied, and classical, his periods
rounded, and arguments fully up
to the standard of the Massachu.
sets statesman and scholar. His
appeal for the children of the
Flowery Kingdom was earnest,
and when Mr.. Sumner concluded
it was evident that he had made
quite an impression upon the
Senate. At this junctnre, as
soon as Mr.. Sumner had taken
his seat, Mr.. Nye sprang to his
feet, was recognized by Mr.. Col
fax, the President Of the Senate,
and spoke SO newhat as follows:
'Mr. PreSident-I was born in
the good cid country of Steuben,
New York State, and raised upon
a farm. My parents were hard
working, thrifty people, fearing
God and performing their duties
with a good conscience. We had
morning and evening prayers, in
which was always offered an ap-
peal to the Almightyfor the free.
dom of the slave. My good
mother, God bless her, yas a care.
full housewife, and, among other
standard American delicacies,
doughnuts were always provided.
We all liked doughnuts, and l
think the American fa:mboy that
don't like doughnuts is hardly to
be found. l often watched my
mother when she made the
dough, and kneaded and short.
ened it until it was in fit condi-
ton. Mr.. President, the result
of my observation was that she
always took small piece of the
dough and fried it in the fat be-
fore she risked the whole batch /!
She tried it first, and awaited re.
suits. / have listened to the ell.
speech of my friend from
Massachusetts on the Chinese
question. | live on the Pacific
coast, and know the Chinese bet.
ter practically than any one can
know them theoretically. They
save their earnings, and then re-
turn, pigtail and ali, to the Flow
cry Kingdom. You cannot make
q citizen Of man who will not
sacrifice his pigtaill We have
emancipated the blacks--they are
now free and citizens, aud | am
content Then turning to Mr..
Sumner he resumed: My friend
from Massachusetts, has made an
exhaustive and able argument,
but / suggest to him il is far bet,
ter and safer to follow my good
mothers example, and fry a little
piece of this suffrage dough before
We risk the whole Chinese batch 7
The effect of this speech was mar
velous. Mr.. Sumner leaned back
IN his chair, laughing until tears
IAN down his cheeks, the Senate
aud galleries joining. His labor
ID arguments had been demolish-
ID at one fell blow by the dough-
nut simile. DOughnuts and the
sacred rights of citizenship com.
Oined were too much for him.
He could neither retort nor ex.
plain, and the consequence was,
the bill failed through the home
ly argument of the doughnut in
the hands of Nye."
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1877-02-08
EUIhaieegaetpn,
THE HEALING KISS.

- - ~ 49,
The hope Of the house is in trouble,
HiSpqsical cries rend the air,
While hiSfeet and his,hands beat tattoo
Pet s bumped his poor head on the stair
"Run quick for the camphor and linen;
Find out just the distance he fell p
mo matters" roags out the young hero,
"For mother has kissed it most WELL"
Q, magical kiss we have felt it
1TFull many time in our youth,
And there never was medicine like ID,
Or ointnent so precious forsooth.
The dew from the lips that had parted
To drop words of pity for pain
Seemed akin to the breath of an angel,
And never was rendered in vain.
We oftentimes wish for a soiace
As trusty, as speedy, and sure
When we rise from the shocks and the
bruises
That mortals must ever endure;
When we battle with care and with sorrow,
With heartaches we never may tell;
Then we think of the time in the distance,
When mothers dear kiss made US well
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1877-02-08

An experienced lady says good
way to pick out husband is to
see how patiently he waits for
dinner when it is behind time.
Her husband remarks that a good
way to pick out wife is TO see
whsther the woman has dinner
ready in time.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1877-02-08

Some persons are utterly in
capable of appreciating a gener-
Gus act. Merely because a young
man calls on a young lady half
a dozen evenings during the
week, and occasionally drops in
between meals, there are peo-
pie mean enough to insinuate
that it means something be-
sides anxiety about the health
of her sick mother.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1877-02-08
Pull off That Hat.

and in order to induce his hal
to grow again, he is using /;
very excellent article called hail
vigor upon his scalp. A weel
or two ago he was summoned
as a juryman upon case il
the Circuit Court, and upon tn,
day of the trial, just before the
hour at which court met, he re.
membered that he had not ap.
piled the vigor to his head that
morning. He had only a few
moments to spare, but he few
up stairs and into the dark clos
ct where he kept the bottle, and
pouring some fluid on a
sponge, he rubbed his head en-
ergetically. By some mistake
the Colonel got hold of the
wrong bottle, and the substance
with which he inundated his
scalp was not "vigor," but the
black varnish with which Mrs.
Bangs decorated her shoes.
However Bangs didn't perceive
his mistake, but darted down
stairs, put on his hat, and went
to the courtroom. II was a
very cold morning, and by the
time the Colonel reached his
destination the varnish was as
stiff as a stone, his hat glued
fast to the skin, and his efforts
to take it off gave HIM frightful
pain. Just then he heard his
name called by the Crier. He
was wild with apprehensions of
coming trouble; but he took his
seat in the jury box and deter
mined to explain the situation
at the earliest possible moment.
Presently the Clerk screamed,
CHATS off in court!' The Co
lionel grew crimson in the face.
"Hats off, yelled the clerk a.
gain, and the Colonel was about
to reply, when the Judge came
in, and as his eyes rested on
Bangs he said: "Persons in
the courtroom must remove
their hats"
Bangs-May it please your
Honor, l kept my hat on be-
Judge-Well, sir, You must
take it off now.
Bangs-But l say I kept it
on because L
Judge-We do not want any
argument on the subject, sir.
Remove that hat this moment,
sir.
Bangs-Judge, if you'd only
give me a chance to-
Judge--This is intolerable!
DO you mean to insult the Court,
sir? Take your hat off, Sit, or
] will fine you for contempt.
Bangs-Well, it's very hard
| can't say a word by way of
Judge (warmly)-This is too
muchl You have more audaci-
ty than a mule. Mr.. Clerk, fine
that man $50.
Bangs-Judge this is rough
on me. L
Judge Gin furious rage)-
Won't do it yet. Why you i'm
pudent scoundrel, I've a no.
ton to-Mr. Clerk, fine him
$1O0 more, and, Mr.. Jones, you
60 and take that hat off by,
force.
Then the tipstaff approached
Bangs, and hit the hat with his
stick. 1t didn't move. Then
he struck it again, and cayed in
the crown, but it remained on
Bangs head. Then he picked
up a volume Of "Brown on Ev-
idence" and smashed the crown
in fiat. Then Bangs sprang at
him, and shaking his fist under
the nose of Jones, he shrieked:
"Y on mutton-headed scullionl
I've half a notion to kill you!
If that jackass on the bench
had any sense he could see that
the hat is glued fast. l can't
take it off if / wanted to-"
Then the Judge removed the
fines and excused him, and
Bangs went home. He slept in
that hat for a week, and even
wher it came off, the top Of his
head looked as black as if NOR
tification had sat in.
The goudsthat men do is often
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1877-02-08

A Chicago man encountered q
drsped figure in his basement hall
the other morning, and mistaking
it for his wife's dressing maid,
hugged it ardently for several
seconds before be discovered that
it was a Deputy Sheriff in an UI-
ster overcoat.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1877-02-08

A skipper of q down-east
coaster, named the 'Hyena,' was
recently asked what his vessel
was named after. His honest
and sober reply was, i don't
know, ! expect some great man
in Congress-
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1877-02-08

The Democrats of Illinois did
the clean thing, and eighty"sev-
en- in number Joined sixteen In
dependents and slaughtered the
long haired Logan. Who will
mourn for Logan nowp
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1877-02-08

The good that men do is often
inferred with their bones, and an
exchange remarks that in great
many cases there is not the least
crowding of the bones.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1877-02-08

Bro. Hail., of New Orleans, de-
clines to debate with an infdel
woman. He says in declining
that "s good woman is the noblest
work of God, but bad one is the
worst work of the devil"
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1877-02-08

Mrs. Van Cott says she "used
to love to dance" That was
when timber was cheap and they
built stronger houses than they
do now.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1877-02-08

The title of the next Presi-
dent, if the wrong man gets in,
is to be (the newspapers have
sgreed), his Ffaudulency, Re-
tuning Board Hayes.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1877-02-08

The following, says the Bos-
ton Commercial Bulletin, is a.
bout as terse an announcement
of business change" as any we
have received, this year at least /:
BIRMINGHAM, Conn.
Stop the Bulletin. We've
busted. AMERICAN SHoV-
Ell COMPANY.
JAN. 10, 1877.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1877-02-08

When a man is called by his
friends "brilliant but erratic," it
means that he will get drunk oc
Casionally.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1877-02-08
Mail D1reOtOry.
Fayetteville Post-Ofice.

RsiIroad-leaves every day except Sun
dayat 7:45A.M arrives at P. NJ. Supplies
the following offices: Kelso Lincoln, Flynt-
vile. Oregon. Georges Store, Flora, Hunt S
Station, Salem, Winchester and Decherd.
Shelbyville stage-arrives Monday We'd
aesday and Friday at 10 A. NJ; leaves same
days at t2P.M. Supplies Mulberry, Lynch
burg, Bonneville, County Line, Shelbyvllle.
Huntsville stage-leaves Monday and
Thursday at 6 A. NJ; arrives Tuesday and
Friday at 4P.K. Supplies Harpers Branch,
Goshen, Hazle Green, Meridianville and
Huntsville.
Shelbyyille horse-leayes Mondays and
Thursdays at 8 A. NJ; arrives Tuesday and
Friday at Ann. Supplies Norris Greek,
Chestnut Ridge, Hawthorne and Shelbyyille.
Pulaski housewives everv Friday at IL
NJ; leaves same day at 1890. Supplies Cy-
ruston, Boons Hill, Millville, PiEgah, Brad
shaw and Pulaski.
Blanche borse-leRves every Friday at
A. NJ; arrives Saturday at 3 Pm. Sup
plies Camargo, MOlino Geld Water, Blanche.
Money Orders can be obtained at this Of
Gee upon post offices in all parts ef the u
nitsi States. A list of Money Order offices
may be seen on application. Rates Of COM
mission foT Money Orders ara IS follows:
Not exceeding SIS. 10 cents
Over is aDd not exceeding $50. .I5 do
- 20 do do 90. 80 do
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1877-02-08

Ferry will do just as well as
Hayes. What is wanted by the
office holders is a man of small
calitre.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1877-02-08
TERMs-

DH 1--WE Dollars for one year, snva-
rstIotg t1a 0dr0nce; Two Dollars and
Ftfty Gents if payment be deferred three
months All papers going out of the county
10 be paid for ia Advance.
Ia Single copies, Five Cents each.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1877-02-08

The hard times are compelling
weak churches to unite. The
two Presbyterian churches of
Newport, KY, became one on
October 25. The first and second
Presbyterian churches of Piqua,
o, have also decided upon union.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1877-02-08

A postmaster thus expressed
his opinion that his official re-
turns were correct: Il hereby GER
tify the four going A Count is as
near Rite as | know how to make
it if there is eny mistake it is knot
Dun a perpese." That postmaster
voted for Hayes.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1877-02-08

A female justice of the peace in
Wyoming recently fined her hus.
band for drunkenness,
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1877-02-08

It is wiping away tears, not
shedding them, that proves you're
made Of the right stuff.
Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1877-02-08

Over thirty members Of the
South Carolina "Rump" Legis-
lature cannot write their names.
, 1877-03-17
Seattle Steamboat Directory.

For VICTORIA. Steamer North Pacific Clan.
cymaster leaves every Monday and Thurs.
day at 5 A. NJ
For OLYMPIA. Steamer Messenger, Parker
master, leaves every Tuesday, Thursday
and saturday at 3 A, NJ. Steamer Zephyr,
Wright master, leaves every Monday, We'd
nesday and Friday, at7A.M.
For WHATcoM AND WAY PORTS Steamer j.
B. Libby, Brannon master, leaves every
Monday and Friday, at7A.M,
For SSoHoMIsH CITY.-Steamer Nellie, d.
Hill master, leaves every Monday Wednes.
day, and Friday, at 3 A. NJ.
For SKAGlT AND LA CoNNER.-Steamer Fanny
Lake, J. s, Hill master. leaves every Tues.
day and Friday, at IA. NJ.
For TOWNSEND, San JUAN, ORcAs ISLAND,
LOPEZ, SEMAHoo AND WHATooM.-str.
Dispatch, Monroe master, leaves every
Thursday, at 10 p NJ.
For FREEPoRT AND BLAKHLY. Steamer Sue
cess, Nugent master, leaves every day, al
3P. NJ.
For TACOMA, IN roUTB TO PoRrLAED.--sti
Aida, Browner master, every day. after
PM
FROM SAN FRANoIsc. Pacific Mail steamers
leave San Eranciso 10th, Goth and 3Oth o.
each month.
, 1877-03-17
Local Items.
PERSONAL.

Mr.. Harry Mills, an old resident of the
lower river, has removed to town with
his family. We can but welcome him
and his amiable lady as valuable ad.
di,lon to our social circle.
Our esteemed friend, W. NJ. Tirtlot,
ESQ, has just returned from visit to
his family at present residing on the
Chehars. He informs us that he has
disposed Of his property there and will
in short time move his family here.
We are heartily glad of it, Mr.. T. is an
e,timable gentleman, man of culture
and reliability, and is heart and soul
with the people here, in all their enter
prises for the public good.
, 1877-03-17

OF "mealies," or Iudian corn. He would,
however, in suitable localities, yield very
large profit except for one circumstance
the great amount of room that he re.
quires- sixty acres bird is avery large
allowance, even Tor profitable stock.
According to the statements publish
cd by Messrs, Harting & Monsenlhal, it
takes 800 acres to feed eighty birds com.
tortably; and those acres, even if prac.
tically valueless, must he fenced in with
wire, at cost of some $500. The birds
cannot Jump, and make no effort to
cross the fencing, but it seems certain
that he will NOT bear confinement close
enough to prevent his enjoying healthy
amount Of his customary exercise. OF
course while feathers yielded from eco
to G4O a pound, the profits were enor.
nous; but in the present day, when the
average value, according to official re-
tuIhs, Is 10 Os. per ponnd, tue farmer
must content himself, even though he
grows oslriches, with moderate returns
in cash. He can get pound OF fathers
II year from each bird, and by the latest
statistics is pretty sure OF e5 u pound all
round; but f400 year, though good
yield in such locality from 900 acres is
not enough to make diamond hunters
quit their avorations. Still, as the land
is usually fenced off from farm too
large to be cultivated, and food costs
little, and the profit is received in cash,
the rearing of ostriches may be consid.
cred fairly established and very curl.
Gus industry.
, 1877-03-17
NOTICE.

Notice is hereby given that the board Of
County commissioners OF SnOhomish County,
W T. invite sealed proposals for covering Pill
Chuck bridge with two inch plank or split
cedar puncheon said proposals will be received
ut the Auditors office until April Is, 1877, also
for covering the bridge across HIATT slough
bridge across Frencher's slough on the Sky.
komsh Roau. The Board reserving the right
to reject any and all bids. By order OF the
Board. JOHN II. SWIFT, Auditor.
Snohomish City, W. T.,
n50:4w February 20, 1877.
, 1877-03-17

HORRIBLE MURDER-The Oregonmn
contains lengthy account of the murder,
early on Saturday morning, about four
miles south of Portland, of an uniOrtu-
nate man named Davis. He was about
40 years of age, and had lived in Port
land three or four years. 1t seems that
at the time of the murder, he and an
other man were the occupants of q small
log cabin near the macadamized road in
the locality mentioned, and had been
chopping wood. They were aroused in
the latter part Of the night, and Davis
partner, on going to the door, was re-
quested to admit two strangers who pro-
iessed to want something to eat. As
soon us they could gain admission to the
room, they did so, and being masked. no
clue to their identy could be obtained.
One Of them snatched up small hatchet
lying on the floor and killed Davis with
it, mutilatiug his body horribly, while
the other held pistol to the partners
head, who was released and told to leave
after the house had been set on fire. On
Saturday morning when the authorities
arrived at the scene, nothing but the
charred and blackcned remains Of either
the body or the house were left. No
trace Of the villains has yet been found,
, 1877-03-17
A Local Returning Board.

They were playing poker, and Pomp
held q full hand. His eyes glstpnpd
with conscious triumph as he put up a
ten.cent ante and gazed at his partner
eXpectantly.
Il raises dat ten cents" remarked
Pete.
Il goes a quarter more" insinuated
Pomp.
II stand you, and raises anuder quar-
ter" replied Pete.
II continues on de war path, and
fops down the last thirty cents" an
swered Pomp, placing six nickleS on the
table.
al kivers de pile and calls YOU" re.
marked Pete.
Full hand," said Ponp, turning his
cards. what you got 2"
"A pair, and de game am undecided" :"
whats dat4 Undecided Dis here
child takes de pile"
mot by a long chalk, DIS case will
now be referred TO de- returnin' board.
who will examine into de particklers.
Oars plenty more good cards in de pack,
and why didn't I git 'em. Dnr's been
intimidation and fraud, an meanwhile
de ieturnin' board takes possession of de
spoils," and Pete reached out his hand.
Then the other side denied the right
of the board to meddle, and when the
reporter left the horrible demon of ci, il
war was dancing a wild dance in the
neighborhood, and policeman was
marching up to mediate with club
SUNDAY Ar0us.
, 1877-03-17

DR.. Livingstone says: "The ostrich
when feeding has pace from twenty to
twenty-five inches; when walking at
other times, about four inches more. In
general, the eye cannot follow its legs.
was once able to count the steps. by q
stop-watch, and, if am not mistaken, the
bird made thirty strides in ten seconds.
Reckoning each stride at twelve feet, we
have speed of about twenty.six miles
per hour" Nr. Henry de Monsenthal
says. "An ostrich in motion does not
rise upon the wing; he skims, as it were,
along the surface Of the ground, and if
he meets with an obstacle, such as q
fence, he will skirt along it, but never
attempt to cross it, although he will
cross creek, the two banks of which
are nearly on level with each other, by
flying. The pace of an ostrich in full
speed, going before the wind, with his
feathers standing erect, is killing, and l
never saw the horse the rider of which
could with truth say that he ran his
game down fairly" At present, how
ever, the ostrich has been partially do
mesticated, and in 1875 careful census
showed that there were no less than
32,247 domestiCated OstriChcs within
Cape Colony alone. The bird appears
to neeI no artificial food if he has plenty
of good grass, but if the grass is sour he
wants crushed bones, and good farmers
improve his condition With allowances
, 1877-03-17

A RIVAL of the big trees of California
is reported by Mr.. L. e. Beach, who
states that last week he discovered a
cedar tree, alive, straight trunk probably
100 feet high to where it was broken off,
that is twenty. seven feet in diameter,
anil over eighty feet In circumference.
This tree is situate about three miles
from town, near the corduroy, leading
to old Mr. Kellogg's place.
, 1877-03-17

FRIENDS OF THE ATHENEuM. DIR.
Folsom, present Supt. Scientific Dept. Of
the Atheneum, informs US that he has
received offers of exchange with similar
institutions at the east, il the institution
was in condition to accept, would add
over 1000 specimens to the present col
lection. These liberal offers he can
not reciprocate because the building Of
the Society is unfinished and the room
now occupied is already overcrowded.
Can not the Trustees of tho Society
manage to cover the building and COM
plete the room for this department, and
let this valuable work GO ONT
, 1877-03-17

THE Naturalists' Directory, by NJ.
Casino, of Salem, Mass, has been re-
ceived. II contains the names of all
Naturalists and Scientists in the United
States, with their address and their
specialities. as well as the positions they
occupy in Scientific Institutions and
whether or not they desire an exchange
of specimens. 1t is a valuable work and
will he revised and reissued every year.
Also, Microscopical Observations OF the
Fauna of the waters of New York, by
Chas. F. Gissler. 1t is finely illustrated
and is of incalculabls value to the Mi
sroscopist.
, 1877-03-17

LOGS LOST. We regret to announce
that the boom Of Fields & Austin, on the
Skykomish, parted during the night of
Monday last, and as the Pill Chuck
boom was not hung, many of their logs
went to sea. Their loss is not very
heavy as they had not fairly got under
way at their works.
, 1877-03-17

WORK on the new church, as well as
al out door carpenter work, has been
suspended for over week on account
of the heavy rains. As soon as the
weather permits all work will be re-
smnel.
, 1877-03-17
Steamers.

The Nellie came in on Monday with
full freight, large passenger list, in
cludlng n family of immigrants who are
to settle on the rich lands between the
Skykomish and the Snoqualmie. She
lett Tuesday, loaded with hay for log
gers below, and passengers for Seattle
and way ports
, 1877-03-17

Pr.AYER.-We are pleased tn be able
to announce to our readers on the river,
that, on the last trip of the Yakima, she
brought a planer for Messrs. Ferguson
& Morgan, which was Immediately
hauled to their new mill and will be put
IN running order as soon as possible.
, 1877-03-17
NOTICE {!

All persons indebted TO me, are hereby noti-
fed that unless they settle their accounts be.
fore the lst Of March the same will be placed
in the hands Of an officer for collection All
persons having claims against me will present
them for seturnent on or before that time.
WIN. EDWARDS.
SnOhomlsh City, Dec. 30, 1875. 6l.ti
, 1877-03-17
Hon WATER.-An unusual thing f

HIoH WATER.-An unusual thing for
this time of the year is the present fresh
at on the river. The river is bank full,
and at the present writing, March 10Th,
Is rising rapidly, This will be good
thing for all our farmers, as the melting
of the snow in the mountains 80 early,
will prevent heavy rise in June, sea,
son OF the year when, if the water is
high, it is not desirable to have our
bottom farms flooded; as it is it can do
NO damage to farms so situated.
, 1877-03-17

LOST small lot Of lumber, belong
ing to the Presbyterian Church now
being built in this place, was swept off
the wharf by the sudden rise of the
river. It had recently been landed from
the steamer and most of it will be lost.