The Portland daily press., 1877-12-10
A LONG RECESS.
Latin for Cows.

Speaking Of Latin reminds me that once
taught my COWS Latin. l don't mean sthat
taught them to reod it, for it is very difficult to
teach a COW Latin or any of the dead languages
"a COW cares more for her cud than she does
for all the classics put together But if you
begin early you can teach COW or a calf (if you
Can teach a calf anything. which doubt Lat
in as well as English. There were ten COWS,
which l had to escort to and from pasture night
and morning. To these cows gave the names
of the Roman numerals. beginning with Unus
and Duo and going up to Decem. d ecem was,
Of course the biggest COW of the party or at
least she was the ruler of the others, and had
the place of honor in the stable and every rywhere
else. admire cows and especially the exact
ness with which they define their social osi-
ton. In this case Decem could lick Novem,
and Novem could lick Octo, and so on down to
Unus, who couldn't lick anybody except her
own calf. suppose ought to have called the
weakest COW Una instead Of Unus, considering
her sex; but didn't care much to teach the
COWS the declension of adiectives in which l
was not very we'll up myself; and besides it
would be Of very little use to COW. People
who devote themselves too severely to the study
OF the classics are apt to become dried up, and
you should never do aDytbingato dry up q COW.
Well, these ten cows knew their names after a
while, at least they appeared t0,and would take
their places as L called them. At least, if Octo
attempted tOget before Novem in going through
the bars Il have heard people speak of 'a pair
bars" when there were six or eight of them), or
into the stable the matter of precedence was
settled then and there and once settled there
was no dispute about it afterwards. Novem
either put her horns into Octo's ribs and Octo
shambled to one side,or else tue two locked
horns and tried the game of push and gore uu-
til one gave up. Nothing is stricter than the
etiquette of party OF cows There is nothing
in royal courts equal to it; rank is exactly set
tied, and the same individuals will always have
the precedence. You know that at Windsor.
Castle If the royal Three Ply Silver Stick should
happen to get in front of the Most Royal
Double-and Twisted Golden Rod when the
Court is going in to dinner, something SO dread
full would happen that we don't care to think
of it. 1t is certain that the soup would get cold
while the Golden Rod was pitching the Silver
Stick out of. the castle window into the moat
and perhaps the island of Great Britain itself
would split in two. But the people are very
careful that it never shall happen, and so we
shall probably never know what the effect
would be. Among cows. as say the ques-
ton is settled in short order, and in differ
ent manner from what it sometimes is in other
society. 1t is said that in other society there is
sometimes great scramble for the first place,
for the leadership as il is called, and that women,
aud men too. fight for what is called position;
and in order TO be first they will injnre their
neighbors by telling stories about them and by
backbitIng. which is the meanest kind of biting
there is, not excepting the bite of fieas. But in
cow society there is nothing of this detracton
in order to get the first place at the crib, or the
farther stall in the stable. If the question arises,
the cows turn in horns and all, and settle it
with one square fight, and that ends it, have
often admired this trait in cows.
Besides Latin, I used to try to teach the cows
little poetry, and it is a very good plan. 1t
does not do the COWS much good, but it is very
good exercise for boy farmer. 1 used to COM
init to memory as good short poems as could
fnd (the COWS used to like to listen to "Thsna-
topsis" about as well as anythingl and repeat
them when 1 vent to pasture, and as L drove
the cows home through the sweet ferns and
down the rocky slopes 1t improves a boys elo-
cutiop great deal more than driving oxen.
1t is fact, also, that if boy repeats '"Thana.
topsis" while be is milking, that operation &C
quires certain dignitY.-Beinq Bon.