Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1877-12-07


To fork out his penny, and pocket your shilling,
lEben, zer Elliott, the corn-lsw rhyme
An amateur sportsman down in Maine
crept mp to lot of decoy ducks the other
day and blazed away enthusiastically. They
didn't fly away and he bagged the whole
lot.
What is the difference between the largest
of all animals and male bee in an undeyel-
opei state Answer One is a behemoth
and the other is he bee moth Worcester
Press.
A Young New Yorker. who is paying his
addresses tc Il lady-love, stayed so late q
few evenings since, that the family were
compelled to whitewash the wall next morn
ing, to obliterate his shadow.
4 Worcester urchin WAS recently observed
by another in the act of standing third and
smaller one in an inverted position where
upon the second. one cried "Oh, don't,
Johnny his brains'll run into his head y
Have you any marble or plaster busts of
Psyche :" asked Chicago lady at an art
store. NO, was the reply of the polite but
rather verdant clerk, eve have busts OF most
all the great men but none of Sankey." The
woman did not attempt an explanation.
Evolution Is the natural and orderly pro
cession from a unismal to a duismal state of
existence, and thence, by combination, to a
trinismal state, ana thence again, by rever-
sion and suhsumption. to a triunismal state
or stage, which Is final or ultimate - Stephen
Pearl Andrews.
There was one Of the shrewd buyers IN
Manchester, n H., who wanted an article
for which the trader changed eight cents per
pound. The buyer said this was too much,
and insisted that seven cents would be near
er right. Finally the merchant yielded, and
the customer ordered half pound, which
was put up, and for which he was charged
four cents, the seller taking the half-cent on
making change.
When Dr. Thomas, aftervard bishop OF
Salisbury, was chaplain to the British factory
at Hamburg. he applied to a clergyman to
permit the burial of an English gentleman in
the formers graveyard. The parson asked
OF what religion the dead man was and on
being told Calyinist, replied that none bnt
Lutherns were buried in his ground.
Whereupon. after little parleying DIR.
Thomas told him that the refusal had recalled
to him an incid, nj which some years before
had beiallon him in London. While per-
forming "a burial service, woman came and
pulled him by the sleeve, saying she must
speak to him Immediately. "Why, what Is
the matter :" Why, sir, you are going to
bury a man who died of smallpox near my
poor husband, who never had it - The
relation of this story had the desired effect.
The editor wrote il "AIr Bancroft him.
sell, though venerable IN aspect" The com
positor read IT Mr. bancroft himself though
miserable in a speech.
"Call me pet names something typical o.
sweet sounds, be munnuIed, and she SAID
he was a gay lutte. Dfrfer >mfH.
As general thing. this world is pretty
selfish. but occasionally there crops out nj
instance of liboraliiy which renews on el
faith IN human nature. A Bowlonham maj
visiting Gardiner Ne, recently. lost IN the
street there a pocket book containing sl7, 800
citizen found and restored it TO him, wher
he impulsiyely presented TO the finder on,
dollar bill.
First son of Albion Him surprised a
this news from Hamerica, but it shows th,
superiority Of hour COVER munt' Second
$. Of A WAITS hup now over there 2" FRS
5. of 4 IVY they cavnt pay their harny
Did you never ear the like To speak of i
as a harmy is habsurd, you know but Il
think that the pay Of such hinsignifcanI
squad should be in harrears Why, blast III,
heyes, wat if these Hunericans 'ad the Roos
hans To bencounter "- L0risyUe foIrIar-,iotu
HuL
manner. until Callmacbus remarked, "Wel
here's at you, and they leaned back thei
heads with gurgling sound, while the fra
grant breath OF lemon-peel toated off on th
morning air, like a dream of the tropics
The world is not what It used to be-. Biul0'J
ton Hdrtege.
declare in the name OF the Almighty Go
that no man has the right to be worth 500
900 600 TalWage. We declare with a fu
realization Of the awful enOrmity of the o.
fence OF trying to come it on Brother Ia
mage, that We are not guilty. u orceSf'
Press.
Mistress ton coming home from the sea
side "Nhy, Jane, what's become of Ia
bullfnch ' Jane well, you see. MN,
didn't say much, and looked droopin' like, r
cook put It ont OF its misery, an | 'ad it stut
ed for my at. P,act
Tom Harry, what makes you look =
down IN the mouth Has your sayings-ban
busted Harry 80 no it isn't that br
I'm So confoundedly afraid that my gil
will make up with me before Christmas thu
don't know what to do. Ns,clrk tou
ier.