The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1877-07-17
ADYNASTY OF COOKS.
The Succession of sovereigns I'm
Mrs. Browns kltchen-An Every
Day Tale,
From Appletons Journal.

From Appletons Journal.
Not long ago an lnterregum OF a dis
astrous and un holy character took place
within the family of certain literary
gentleman OF New York. From week
to week he kept account Of the rapid
changes liz downstairs government, and
called his document, when finished,
Culinary Dynasty OF the House OF
Brown, from the Reign of Bridget the
Pure down to the Present Monarch"
Similarly embelished by incidental rhe-
toricsl graces, Mr.. Browns list read
something after the following manner:
Bridget l., surnamed the Pure. Be-
gan to reign December, 1867; sbdicated
October, 1876, because contemplating a
life of seclusion-snd mstrimony. Her
reign was marked by great executive wis
dom, clemency and economy, and its ces-
sstion caused the most sincere regret.
| Succeeded by
Bridget H., sovereign of censidera.
BILE administrative power, but cursed
with most irascible disposition. In
suited her Prime Minister Mrs. Brown J,
when Justly rebuked by that dignltsry
for her reckless consumption OF hutter.
Popular opinion Mr. Brown being de-
/ cidedly against her.. she sbdicated, No
vembe 1876, i'm favor of
Katharine, surnamed Flirt, on account
of the multiplicity OF her suitOrs. A
giddy good-nstured Queen, but wholly
united tor her exalted position, De-
posed, November, 1876, and succeeded
by
A Regency of three days, during
which Jane, valued chambermsid,
welded with much ability the culinary
sceptre. After which the kitchen was
descended into by
Bridget Ill, sovereign whose char
acter previous to accession had been re-
presented rs stainless, but who early gave
! signs OF the most revolving incompetence.
Driven from the kitchen by an indignant
people (Mr, Brown after an alcoholic
reign OF only two days, and succeeded by
Mary Ellen, sstiricslly surnamed the
| Skeleton, on account of her unnatural
stoutness. Celebrated for intense laz-
ness. Deposed, December, 1876, and sue
ceeded by
Margaret, popularity known as the
Fiend. Threatened to Kill her Prime
Minister two hours after coronation. On
the following day refused TO sbdicate
Resisted even the demands of the Army
Ia puiceman), who UNANIMOUSLY in
dorsed the policy OF the Prime Minister.
Imprisoned for high treason, December,
1876. End unknown. Succeeded by
Bridget ", surnsmed the Lanatic.
Her administration WAS chiefly dlstil-
guished by an attempt to subvert the
usual methods of dining throughout her
realm; csusing soup to be served after
fish, and meat before either. Banlshed
after turbulent reign OF twelve hours,
and succeeded by.
Ann, known as the Spoiler,
And so on. through terrible list OF
wrong and outrage, the chronicle contln.
ues, nj last ending i'll the month OF Feb.
rusry, 1877, with the following happy
! item
Bridget XIV, the reigning sovereign
surnamed the Culinary Antonine.
! Modest of demernOr, gentle IN speech,
| wise and economical in her rule. Be-
| loved by minister and people. A slight
! difficulty with France 1.-THE chlldren's for
eign nurse, which occurred In
the early part OF ner reign,
/ has now been arnicsbly set
/ tied. The realm ls st present in dour
( ishlng condition, aid the refrigerator has
never been so prosperously administered.
| Long live Bridget Nv.