Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1877-10-10
A STRUGGLE WITH A srovep,pt.
ranbury News.

4>SNS.
Putting up q stove d not % difficult ID It.
the mischief and all the dust. You MAJ
take down . stove with all the care in thu
world, and yet that pipe won'tcome together
again as it was before. You find this oul
when standing on . chair with your arms
full, Of pipe and your month full Of SCOT
Your wife l. standing on the floor in q posi.
ton that enables her to seesyou, the ,pip<
and the chair and she gives .uttsrance t.
those remarks that are calculated to hasten
. mar into the extremes of insanity. Hel
dress ispinned over her waist. and her hands
rest on her hips. She has got one Of your
hats On her head, and your linen coat on her
back and a pair Of rubbers on her feet ; there
is about Eve cents worth Of pot-black on her
chin. and altogether she is . specticle
that would inspire dead man with
distrust. And while you are up there
tryingIto circumvent the awful contrariness
Of. the pipes, and telling that YOU know
some fool has been mixing it. she stands
safely on the floor and bombards you with
such domestic notices As: Whats the
use ofswearing so?" You know no one has
touched that pipe" "You amt got any
more patience than a child" "Do Be care.
full of that chair" And then she goes and
reappears with an armful more of pipe, and
before you are aware of it she has got that
pipe so horribly mixed up that it does seem
no two pieces are alike. You Join the ends
and work them to and fro, and to and fro
again. and then o take them apart and
look at them. Then you spread one out
and jam the other together, and mount them
once more: But it is no go. You begin to
think the pieces are inspired with life, and
ache to kick them through the window.
But she dosen't lose her patience. She goes
around with that awful exasperating
rigging on, with q length Of pipe
under each arm and long-handled
broom in her hand, and says she don't see
how it Is that ONE people never have any
trouble in putting up a stove. Then you
miss the hammer. You don't see it any
where. You stare into the pipe, along the
mantle. and down the stove, and off to the
floor. Your wife watches you aud is finally
thoughtful enough to enquire what YOU are
after; and, on learning, pulls the
article from her pocket. Then you feel as
if you would 60 out doors and swear a hole
twelve feet square through q block of brick
buildings, but she merely observes: "Why
on earth don't you speak when you want
anything, and not stair around like a dunn
my? When that part of the pipe which
goes through the wall is up. she keeps 1t up
with the broom while you are making the
and stares at 1t with an intensity
that is entirely uncalled for. All the while
your position is becoming more and more
interesting. The pipes don't 60 together,
of course. The SCOT shakes down into your
eyes and mouth. the sweat rolls down
your face and tickles your chin as IL drops
off, and it seems as ifypur arms were slowly
but surely drawing out of their sockets.
Here your wife comes to the rescue by in
quiring if you are going to be all day doing
nothing; and if you. think her arms are
made of cast iron and then the broom slips
off the pipe, and in her endeavor to recover
her hold she jabs you under the chin with
the handle, and the piece comes down on
your head with its load Of fried SCOT, and
then the chair tips forward enough to dis
charge your feet, and you come down on the
wrong end of that chair with a force that
would bankrupt = %pile-driver. You don't
touch that stove again. You leave your wife
b%emoaning its injuries, and go into the
and washed your skined and bleed
ing hands with yellow soap. Then you go
down the street after a man to do the bust
ness, and your wife goes over to the neigh
boris with her chair, and tells them about
the injuries, and drains the neighborhood
dry with its sympathies long before you get
home.