The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1877-11-14

but | would have been willing TO rush
through fire and water to attract once
more the anxious, kind look of tue
beautiful girl. On my way to the school
in the evening, | invented wonderful
deeds of daring | would perform, and
which would astonish her and excite her
lmiratinn. | did not expect or ask for
more. Tie unconscious dawning of love
in the youthful heart belongs, with all its
characteristics, to childhood alone. The
young heart is foolishly eager, easily sat
isfied, and exceedingly selfish and vain.
1t is not capable of loving, but it longs
to be loved, to be admired; it does not
aim az making others happy; the only
happiness it knows is delightful trouble;
the only desire, to receive love with
out giving it. In later years one gives
without receiving, and that is not very
pleasant either. And thus everything is
for the best in this world-where there
are people that find pleasure only in Civ
ing, and others who are only happy in
receiving. But what a blissful brief
period is that when one gives and re
ceives, when one loves and is loved
again! | have known that time; but
she, who made me so unspeakably hap
ply, has now forsaken me. How beauti-
full was the world when l saw it with her,
how blue the sky, how balmy the air!
Hand-in-hand we fastened from place to
| place, and where We went jov smiled to
greet US, and pleasure babe us to stay.
| We went on, singing, laughing, rejoic-
ing, sure of our happiness everywhere.
Sometimes our exuberant JOY would as
tonish more cautious people. But their
severe look would soften when their eyes
had rested upon US for moment. 'They
are young, let them enjoy themselves,
said the old people, and with a melan-
choly smile they passed on. She chung
so lovingly to my arm, she pressed her
self so fondly to my side, that l thought
| could never, never lose her. The idea
of possible change never came 10 me,
never darkened one moments happiness.
| Weeks, months, years passed by-we
were not aware of it.
Gone evening, after we had spent the
day more cheerfully and happily than
usual, she appeared to me, all at once
cold and downhearted. A terrible feal
overcame me, an icy shudder seized hold
of me. She will leave me- | said Il
|
mel Then | remembered how little
really had cared for her; how | hao
tried her faithfulness and devotion, per
haps to- much. For the first time | fel
my confidence shaken, and anxiOusly
sought her eyes. But her look gave nj
no response; her eyes turned away from
me. My rest was gone, my life wa
changed. Sometimes she would again
press me to her bosom with wild passion
but the sweetness of her kisses was lost
Often she pushed me unkindly away
and to my nameless grief saw that m.
love annoyed her. One evening, whel
J l came home at a late hour, found tn
/ room dark, cold, and deserted; she, m,
joy, my love, my light, my all, had LEI
me!
CHOW there began miserable life TO
, me. The loss | had suffered gnawed a
, my heart, but | took care to hide
6 before the world. | tried to show
: happy, joyful face; | sought the societ.
' of young, cheerful people; | spent NOR
/ care on my dress than | had ever don
: before Ny enemies even said that | trie
to hide the pallor of my cheeks by artif
+ cial means That is not true; but mus
4 CONFESS tllaC useu great many hlhC
f ent tinctures and washes to prevent bale
ness and gray hair. But this farce di
not last long. grew tired of this hyl
ocrisy, and cared no more for what tt
f world said or thought. [ know that IN
). beloved has left me; that nothing ca
bring her back; and everybody ma
= know the loss | have suffered. But
' still weep for her who has left me.
I miss her everywhere; nothing, nothin
v can take her place; and | would Willing
\ Iy give all l possess, every joy and evel
n happiness that may be in store for me,
# | could call her once more mine-if
>. could live ever again those blissful da.
; during which alone l was happy"
% CASTOR was silent, and stared into Il
j, dying ashes, and rubbed his thin hant
% together.
. "What was the name of this wond(
at full creature?" inquired the Countess.
;. my youth" replied Castor, witho
70 lifting his eyes from the fire.