The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1877-01-24
Gleanings.

satcHel ana ran. Sne pursued and
caught him, bent him over an ash-box
in an alley and broke two of his ribs.
1t is a narrowing spectacle to see
q man who has been married but
year trudging along with carpet. bag
and an umbrella. en- route to join the
Servian army.
A great deal has been written taboHt
slsterly love, but you just find sister
who will give up a rocking-chair and
new dime novel to the best brother in
the world.
man who jumped overheard re-
Gently to save his wife from drowning
has explained the matter satisfactorily
to his friends. He said she had a
good deal of jewelry on her person and
gold was high.
The Black Hills may be mentioned
as some of tho hills that all flesh seems
to think it is heir to.
The following conversation took
place recently in an hotel: ssWaitcr1''
"Yes sir" whats this - OTIS
bean soup, sir - mo matter what it
has been, the question is-what is it
now?''
An old lady in Middlebury, Wis,
crossed over bridge marked "Dan-
gerous' y without seeing the sign. On
being informed of the fact on the
other side, she instantly turned in
great alarm and recrossed it.
That was scrupulous young lady In
Boston who refused to meet her lover
-Justus, his name waS-at home, be-
cause she heard minister say
that Justus should always be meted
out.
The most important event in mans
LIE is commonly supposed to his mar
riage, but it is not always so, as the
most important event in Kansas
editors life is his triennial change of
shirt.
The Whistling Sword or the Whoop-
er-up Terror Of Mangler's Gulch,' is
the latest dime novel sensation. The
hero cliches thirty Indians at one time.
rescues nine beautiful maidens. and
cuts his throat because he can't mar
ry all of them
The beginning of a new year is il
critical period in every young mans
life. If he swears off on cigars and
lager the danger is that he will go 20
the other extreme of keeping a diary.
II can't pass you Tonight said tho
door-keeper Of a cOncert-room to al
inveterate dead-head. swell, don't
want you to pass me- said the dead
head. "You just stay where you are.
and I'll pass You!
"Young man. he said solemnly.
I'm sorry to see you smoking tohac-
co." and the young man assured him
that he wasn't; that it was 4 Connect
cut cigar.
1t isn't Chinese cheap labor that's
going to ruin us; it's the disposition
to lean up against the sunny side of
the fence and let some other fellow
speed the plow.
Worcester Press After reading so
much about the safety of the Ashta-
bula bridge, we cannot help wonder
ing that the rest Of the road didn't
cave in and leave the model OF
solidity and firmness still standing.
Boston Globe: 1t is noticeable that
people will take advantage OF the
slightest pretext to get panicky in :,
church and rush out; whereas when
there is an alarm of fire in a sample
room, it takes over al hour to get
three OF four men out of doors.
An honest country-woman is con-
fronted with the etigy Of the woman
cut to pieces exposed ut the Morguc
for Identification. You recognize
it!' ''Yes, perfectly; it is my sister
ln-laW S cousin. Only when I knew
her she wasn't in Wax.:'
A negro in South Carolina. COM
planning of the hard times, declared
they were the hardest ever known.
:'Why," said he, II works all day an
steals all night, an yet I'm blest eff
kin make an 'onest iven'!''
The following is = genuine copy Of
a bill made out by the hostler OF an
inn in village OF Dorsetshire, Eng
"Atortheos (hay for the horse), Sd:
clininosonsha cleaning horse and
chaise,) I'D; brininonimomigin (bring-
ing him home again), 6d.-total Is.
Id.
When NJ. Scribe replied to the mil
lionaire who wanted him to lend the
use Of his: genius for considera-
ton, that it was contrary to scripture
for a horse and an ass to pillow togethe.,
the man instantly parried the snub by
saying, ''By what right do You call me
a horse?''
A wonderful evolution freak has
just come under our notice. A year
ago one of the illustrated papers pic
tured the New Year coming in as il
comely and tripping maid. This year
the same paper represents the same
year going out rs a gray-haired. tot
tering old man. Will Prof. Huxly'
eXDlainl