Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-12-24

Never judge man by the color of the
patch on his pantaloons.
Miss Bloomer still lives. She is the
last rose of summer left Bloomer alone.
1t is only those that have done moth
ing, who fancy they can do everything.
About the most uncomfortable seat a
man can have in the long run, is self
conceit.
To notice libel is like digging around
hill of potatoes-you make it grow
the faster.
IT the waves threaten to engulf you
don't add by your tears to the amount
of water.
He who receives good turn should
never forget it; he who does one should
never remember it.
Diseases are merciful enough to come
upon man singly. Outward calamities
generally come in throngs.
The science of life may be thus cpl
tomized; To know well the price of
time, the value of things, and the worth
of people.
A woman's thought: How men would
be loved if they were only lovable; how
lovable women would be if they were
only loved.
A poetical lover ended a poem with
what he considered mastery line
II kissed her under the silent stars"
But the ruthless compositor made it
II kicked her under the cellar stairs"
An excellent quartette-A good tenn
per, good library, good wife and a
good friend are four of the choicest
blessings of human life.
"Never catch me marrying reformed
man." said a wise little Chicago girl
'"when l get married it will be to some
man that doesn't need reforming" And
she was right.
1t was an Irish coroner who, when
asked how he accounted for an extraor.
binary mortality in Limerick, replied
sadly, 81 cannot tell. There are people
dying this year that never died before. -
If you would be exempt from uneasi.
ness, do nothing which you know OF
suspect is wrong; and if you wish tC
enjoy the purest pleasure, always dc
everything in your power which yor
know is right.
A little girl who had great kindness
of heart for all the animal creation saw
a hen preparing to gather her chickens
under her wings, and shouted earnestly
"0h, don't sit down on those beautiful
little birds. you great ugly rooster l'
A little learning is dangerous thing
but not as dangerous (nor milliontl
part as foolish) as demanding an inves
tigation when your stove explodes. Min
times out of ten it will bring your hire,
girls hairs in sorrow to your neighbor'
wOOd-pile.
One Of the best of recent stories j
that of the man who, having lost hi
wife, was asked to ride to the grave wit
his mother-in-law. He objected at first
but allowed himself to be persuaded
adding, however, AZ want you to under
stand that it robs this occasion of al
pleasure for me"
"What is the matter with you 2" il
quired gentleman who had called t
see his neighbor, a German, of Chicago
"Vell, don't know-it is de gout: bu
Wy should l have him ?'' Perhaps,
suggested his friend. ait is hereditary.
81 dink it is hereditary; l remembt
my vife's uncle have him."
A school board inspector asked a sma
pupil of what the surface of the cart
consists, and was promptly answered
LAND and water" He varied the que
tion slightly, that the fact might be in
, pressed on the boys mind, and asked
"What, then, do land and water make
3 To which came the immediate response
D Mud"
Not long back an Irishman was sun
moned before bench of county magi
trates for being drunk and disorderl
do you know what brought you here
asked the chairman. "Faix, yer homo
two policemen" replied the prisone
Had not drink something to do with 1t
said the J. p, frOwning. "Sortinly
answered Paddy, unabashed-"they we
both drunk"