The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1877-02-03
CoMICALITIEs.

| NEVER Try TO nle on the edges OF
sharp fight of steps by sliding down
them on your back.
Why is nursery good place for
dancing? Because it is regular bawl-
room.
A GIRL who started into the sleighine
season with twenty-three lovers, is re-
duced to one, who squints. and is very
wealthy.
The happiest moment in the life of
girl is when she is in possession of a
lover, a chair that holds twice, and a
pa that trusts to her experience.
THE joys :of this world are indeed
f1eeting. but when lot of boiled mo-
lasses gets int girls hair at candy
pulling, it may stick for weeks.
EVERY young man needs to learn
how to drive horse with one hand.
If he can't do this, he might as well
give up sleigh-riding with the girls.
SAID Jones, sweepingly, "When you
are in Rome, do as the Romans do"
and Johnson replied: "When you are
in gin, do as the Injins do"
To the person who begins CONVEX
sation with the phrase, "When l was
at the Centennial" the only quarter al
lowed should be choice of burial or
cremation.
IT is the opinion of New York law
yer that his profession contains more
mean men than any other four pro-
fessions, and he is going to become an
editor.
The witty paragraphist of the Norris
town Herald has an enormous bay win.
dow built in one of his boots for the
accommodation of the author of "Pil-
grim's Progress. "-Missoalri Republican.
A SIGN in neighboring city reads:
Hickre nuts fo, sails" An intelli-
gent old gentleman says he don't see
any joke in it, except that the fellow
has spelt nuts" with one t.
Down in Louisville the doctors are
just as apt to vaccinate you with
piece of old glue as anything else. ALI
they want is the one dollar bill for the
job.
IT Is getting so unreliable that YOU
can't believe half the telegraph says
latel y, and when friend sends q mes
sage for money it is best to pay no at
tention to it.
The doctor and his patient. -Doctor
1t is quite evident, Donald, that your
complaint is neuralgia. Patient-New
ralgy, Ca yet? haze had it aft an on
for more than fifty years
A PRETTY young lady whose Christian
name is Anna, took cigar from a
young man who had not pluck enough
to say he wished to marry her, twirled
it playfully beneath his nose, and look
ing archly at him popped the question
thus: Have-Anna?
A BIT of TEXAN humor-eA Young
man at Kember's Bluff, in this state"
says a Texas paper, acquired the
habit OF tossing cooked pistol in the
air and catching it by the muzzle as it
fell. The last time he caught it was
just moment before he died."
AN experienced lady observes that q
good way to pick out husband is to
see how patiently he waits for dinner
when it is behind time. Her husband
remarks that good way to pick out a
wife is to see whether a woman has
dinner ready in time.
A ST. LOUIS chemist has discovered g.
process by which the human body may
be reduced to delightful perfume at
ridiculously small cost, and in an in
conceivably short space of time. By
this process the man who never made
cent while living will be able to make
scent when dead.
The faithful hound keeping watch
over the grave of his dead master. One
of the editors in Kansas City exhausted
his stock of adjectives over it. Anoth-
er local editor sent reporter to the
spot and ascertained that the trusty
animal was chasing a brindle cat
around the cemetery.
A MAN was fined fifty dollars in q
New York court, the other day, for
throwing a cat off the roof off FIVE
story house. And it served him right.
He should have pitched the musical
animal of seven-story house, for there
Is probability of a cat escaping death
when thrown from fve-story struc-
ture.-No1ristovn Herald.
WHEN twilight droops its dusky wings
across the portals of the ebbing day, so
to speak, the sentimental husband loves
to fold his little wife to his heart, and
fondly imagine that she, too, feels all
the poetry of the hour and longs to en-
Joy the silent communion it invites.
But too often she doesn't, and, disen-
gaging herself from an uncomfortable
position, merely observes: "George,
dear, [ don't think the buckwheat
cakes had enough Yeast in them this