The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1877-05-25
YOURS TRULY" AGAIN.

Jim came home the other day laugh
ing till his face was as red as boiled
lobster and as puffed as an inflated toy
balloon.
Yours Truly was up to her eyes in
pastry, as Mrs. D. would say. The gov
ernor had taken a new economical freak
and had decided to dismiss the China
man, which of course made double work
for Yours Truly; but it is always notice
able that when man desires to re-
trench in expenses, the first thing he
thinks of is to stop some channel Of
leakage in the house. He never thinks
of his own tobacco.
The governor didn't consult those
most interested, but Gust like many
be ordered the Chinaman to leave when
his months wages were paid, and when
supper time came there was double
trouble for Yours Truly.
"I'll stand it little while, till Jim
comes-the Duxeyu she thought, as,
barring her arms to the elbows, she
rushed vigorously into the pie business.
Jim had just come in from the post
office with the New NORTHWEST, and
was laughing, as before stated, immod-
erately The honeymoon was over, so
it was little wonder that he didn't no.
tice the kitchen cloud that lowered
over us.
'Mrs. Duniway may be a paragon, a
Demosthenes, or Pythoness, but she's
been badly fooled this time ~ and Jim
laughed till he bursted off two vest but
tons, one of which fell with dull, me-
tallic ring upon the platter of sliced pie
plant on the dresser, and the other hiI
Yours Truly in the eye.
"What in creation's the matter
Duxey ?" queried Yours Truly, think
ing the boy was "daft."
"Why, DR.. Brenan, the great 1 an
you wrote up last week, has imposed
upon your antiquated sage of Yamhil
with a Communication signed Justice,
in which he claims to be q e0on1dR
Ha ha! ha ~ and Jim pirouetted oil
his heel like bowling dervish.
, "Well, what of that ?" asked Your
: Truly, in astonishment.
r "Why, he makes believe he's WON
an, and, representing himself as such
} gives US logic like this: Hear! hear =
and Jim read as follows:
t az am thoroughly surprised at the ig
D norance Yours Truly displays in writin
f of the peculiar pronunciation of the lee
s turer's words, which delightful peculi
: arity is only one distinguishing mark {
1 his universal popularity over the entir
t continent"
r Here Jim was seized with anOthe
paroxysm of laughter, and Yours Trul
: took the paper and finished the strang
II communication in silence.
g mo wonder the doctor thinks he
= popular, seeing he's either a man or
woman as occasion requires" said jim
Is as soon as he could get breath.
"Well, do be sensible" said You
Truly, land stop your constant gigglini
So much laughter is abOminably al
! surdp'
"But it's so funny w he continue
1t "Only think of it! The periodic
Ie troubles Of women are nothing but me
v suration! The delightful peculiarit
d of the DOCTORS speech makes it so. \
Is wonder the ladies like him! Then h
" pleasant esthetical entertainments b
1t fore public assemblies upon sexual ma
s. ters are as enjoyable among ladies
ID gentlemen" and again Jim laught
IS till Yours Truly was almost mad enoue
er to turn pirate, or become a "sill
m brated" lecturer herself.
I'd AS to the DOCTORS habits, all she knov
s. is that she formed an involunta
ID 'smelling committee" for few secon
D. as he passed her in the doorway, and
ID it wasn't whisky, it was gin or rum
lg brandy, but certainly not ottar of ros
IN that sickened her with it's fumes as
q bowed himself out of the hall.
O. But the pies were done, and the su
e. per hour was near, and there was
s. further time for criticism or CONNER
lv and Jim lifted the salt cellar, and You
I'd Truly the heavy dishes, and the su
.ir stantial meal was soon on the table
r. good order, and nobody was astonish
n at supper when they saw the rosy ia
ne and unruffled temper of
bit YOURS TRULY.