Connecticut western news., 1877-08-10
HUMOROUS.

HUMOROUS.
 A 'STRoNG" MAYA friend was travelling not long since in the neigh borhood of the Lakes of Killarney, and, seeing neat-looking house, he asked the car-driver to whom it belonged. s'Ah, sure, sir," said Pat, s'That's Father Daly's house." "And who is Father DalyP" 'sAh, did ye niver hear O Father Daily? Sure, he's the strong est man in the barony." "What, stronger than Tim Joycep exclaimed my friend, alluding to noted athlete in the district. 'tAh, sure, Tim Joyce is only pauper; Father Daly could buy up five generations of Tim Joyce." Then my friend perceived that the term strongest applied to Father Daly's wealth and not to his physique, so he to-do man, then?' "Faix, he is that. Sure, when he dies he'll be the richest man in the county"
 MR. ScARLETT, afterward first Lord Abinger, and Brougham's contem- porary, was one of the most dexterous of lawyers. On one occasion he was for the defence in an action for nui- sance. A lady appeared as witness for the plaintiff, and Scarlett began by inquiring tenderly about her domestic relations her children and their ill., nesses. The lady became confidential, and appeared flattered by the kind in- terest taken in her. The Judge inter- posed with a remark about the ire levancy of all this. Scarlett begged to be allowed to proceed, and on the con- clusion of the cross examination said: "My lord, that is my case." He had shown that, in spite of the alleged nuisance, the lady had brought up a large and healthy family, and the jury, amused as well as convinced, gave him a verdict. s.-a-
 SHOCKING MORTALITY IN MAYFAIR Florence: have news for you dear Harry Burton has got the command of the Spittire. Estella: And who on earth is Harry Burton? Florence: Who? Why, you were dying for him when he sailed two years ago. Estella: Two years! My dear girl, one dies great many times in two years.'-Funny Folks.
 ssMAMMA," asked little Whitehaller, 'sis our old hen going to be sent away for the summerp' II guess not, my son." she replied; "but why do you ASK SUCH a Qu0SGlOH D0CduSc HcdIO pa tell our new hired girl that they would have such sweet time when he sent his old hen away for the sumner" -WhitehGll Times.
 AN AGED MAN said: eff husbands only had any sense they'd never have any trouble with disobedient wives. I never did, an have been married nigh onto fifty years. ."-"What is your secretP" asked friend. "Why, al- ways tell my wife to do just as she pleases, an she never fails to do it."
 BRoUGHAM, speaking of the salary at- tached to the rumored appointment of a new judgeship, said it was all moon- shine. Lyndhurst, in his dry and wag- gish way, remarked: ''It may be so :; but have strong notion that, moon shine though it be, you would like to see the first quarter of it.''
 A FRENcHMAN having heard the word press made use of to signify persuasion, as "press that gentleman to take some- to use term which he thought synony nous, and begged friend to squeeze a young lady to sing.
 A JUDGE, joking a young lawyer, said: elf you and I were turned into horse and an ass, which would you prefer to beP" ''The ass, to be sure" replied the lawyer. "I've heard of an ass being made. judge, but horse never."
 "Do YOU believe every one will be saved ?" asked an old lady once, of one whose orthodoxy was doubted. "Well, perhaps not every one, few may be lost." Ah, well," said she with sigh of relief, "that's better than nothing"
 "PosTAL CARD PROPOSAL" read Miss Pertt indignantly, from the Washing ton news: eff a man has not got stamps enough for a letter he has not got stamps enough to get married. "No cards for me if you please" s-.rs
 THE husband who informed his wife six months ago that he would let her put out the washing as soon as times i'm proved, has kept his promise. He lets her put it out-on the line. And still she is not happy. "HOw SHALL we help ourselves ?" was the title of a recent lecture by & Boston lady. With silver spoon, we suppose, not emitting some of the brown ones on top, next to the pork.
 A WOMAN lawyer speaks of divorce as "vacating an attachment"
 | Migration not Confined to Birds.
 Birds are not the only animals which migrate. The journeys of the salmon are as regular and remarkable as those