Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1877-06-22
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"WILL THIS Do UP?"-Y yesterday af-
ternoon two elegantly attired ladies en-
tered the Office of prominent lawyer on
Fayette street, and looking around as if
expecting other surroundings than green
baize-covered desks and volumes in law
calf, enquired, timidly, els this laundry
ofice?r
The attorney, supposing she had said a
lawyers Office, replied, ''Yes, madam, !"
and having asked the ladies to be seated,
drew his chair up beside them. expecting
to hear the points of a first-class case.
The ladies were encouraged by his cour-
tesy, and one opened her satchel, and drew
forth what the lawyer supposed to be
bundle of valuable family documents. He
put out his hand to assist her to extricate
it from the bag. His face fairly beamed
with expectancy as he drew forth one end
of the treasure, the lady holding on to the
other end, and he was about to PROFOUND
leading question, when the bundle I'M
rolled, disclosing a bifurcated garment,
richly trimmed with lace, pointing to
which the lady eagerly asked, Twill this
do up?" The lawyer gazed with terror
from his branch of the garment to that
held by the lady, and stammered out with
much confusion, MADAM, you have made
a mistake; this is law office, not a
laundry" Both started to their feet, still
grasping the contents of the bag, the other
lady looking on in dismay, and the tab
leau was complete.
Mutual explanations followed. The
ladies blushingly pushed the novel docu-
ment back into the satchel, muttering that
the gentleman was to blame, as he had an
swered 'yes'' to their first question. while
he, on the other hand, felt satisfied that
the pronunciation Of his visitors was far
more to blame than his hearing. and ap-
peared very busy with his papers as the
ladies bowed themselves from Ills presence.
More care will be hereafter exercised ON
the part of all concerned.-Baltin.ore
NeUs.
"Who's that man ?'' asked the Gar of
his aid, the other day, pointing to chap
with chunk Of hard tack in one hand and
note book in the other, who was hanging.
around headquarters cycling him rather
closely. "ThaJ,'' said the aid-''that's an
American newspaper correspondent from
Chicago" ''Shoot him at sunset re-
piled his imperial majesty retiring within
bis tent.
Little Bob, who usually adds few orr
ginal words to his nightly '.Now lay me
down to sleep,'' became somewhat excited
the other evening after hearing of some
thefts and m urders. and illustrated the
early age at which the notions of one gen.
grafton are transmitted to another by end
ing his petition with, ''Oh, Lord, all them
that kills, steals and murders, please make
'em better if you can; if you can't, hang
'em.''
''Why, Bill, what S tie matter with you?
You look down in the MOUTH swell
Peter, dare say you'd look bad toov
whats the matter 20 ''Well, you know
Sarah Shivels, don't you, Peter 2" YES
Il discarded her last night" ''Yon did
what for?'' 'She said she wouldn't mar
ny me, and I'd discard any girl that treats
me in that Manner
A dainty youth of twenty-six having
been termed an s'old bachelor" appealed
to an elderly gentleman to decide whether
he should be called old Oh not, giving his
age at ''twenty-six." Said the elderly gen.
tleman: cit is owing to how you take it.
Now, for man it is young enough; but
for a goose, it is rather old.
son heavens. save my wife 20 shouted
mali whose wife had fallen overheard III the
Hudson river, recently. They succeede
in rescuing her. And her husband ten
DERBY embraced her, saying "My dear, if
you'd been drowned, what should 1 have
done? amt going to let you carry the
p ocket-book again."
1t is standing rule in my church, . said
one clergyman to another, s'for the sexton
to wake up any man that he sees asleep"
81 Think replied the other, "that it would
be better for the sexton, whenever man
goes to sleep under your preaching, to
wake you np!''
A moth proof barrel in which clothes
can be safely stored is late invent on.
But this leaves the moth at large. What
is wanted is barrel in which the mothes
can be kept and thus leave the clothes at
large.
goat got tangled among the legs of
necktie peddler the other day, and for a
time it seemed as though the wrongs of an
outraged community were about to be
avenged but the peddler escaped.
Andrew Jackson was accused of bad
spelling, but John Randolph defended him
by declaring that Ga man must be fool
Who could not spell words more ways than
One''
A lunar protuberance some forty thou
sand miles long has been discovered by the
astronomers. 1t is supposed that the man
in che moon is growing wart on his nose.
The ng-sighted merchant who has
waited no money in advertising now has
plenty Of time to wonder in the cow pas
lures looking for green's.
A little Philadelphia boy startled lady |
friend of the family the other day by re-
that he was flour years old with
-