The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-08-10

Va WI iOtts hONCl tOnSlQtl
from that point, unless l am looking
through the flue of boiler.
Sea captains and people who have to
do with mules always pay an extra rate
to life insurance companies. A mule
and belt Of country i'll which yellow
fever is indigenous generally stand the
same as regards the death rate.
The word mule comes from the Greek,
and signifies "to stop" and the mule
himself comes to stop also. Like null
tiplied by like produces like. Grass
hoppers multiplied by grasshoppers pro-
duce famine, and potato bugs multiplied
by potato bugs produce rise in the price
of yeast. But when you try to null
tiply mules by mules they don't multi
ply, and hence the word mule. You
may study your arithmetic and read
through all of Trains lectures, but you
cannot discover why this is so, any more
than you can why woman cannot put
on rubber without leaning up against
something.
The mule has one more leg than q
milking stool, and he can stand on one
and wave the other three around in as
many different directions. He has only
three senses, hearing, seeing and SMELL
ing. He has no more sense of taste than
stone jug, and will eat anything that
contains nutriment, and he don't care
two cents whether it be one per cent. or
ninety-nine. All he asks is to pass him
along on his plate, with whatever hap
pens to be handy around the pantry,
and he won't 20 away and blow how
poor the steak is. He just eats whatev-
er is set before him, and asks no ques-
tions.
Mules are naturally deaf, but that SUI
preme wisdom that teaches the little
boy to wipe his nose on his sleeve has
fitted the mule out with pair of ears
that counteracts deafness, so he can hear
as readily as person when you don't
want him to. These ears answer q
double purposc-as tunnels to pour
sound into his ears and also as fans to
brush away the flies with and keep his
head cool. They are hung by hinges to
the sides Of his head, and flap backward
and forward like pair of wet trousers
round boys leg. In cold latitudes
quite tasty business is done in mules
ears. The ears are cut off and dried
and sold for snow-shoes, and then the
stubs are trimmed up and the mules are
sent South and sold for horses. In this
way great many fine horses were pur
chased for the army of the United
States.
If were to have large picture o.
innocence to hang up in my parlor, ant
| did not wish to sit for it myself,
should get correct likeness of mule
There is innocence enough depicted in s
mules countenance to fit out SUNDAY
school class. IT looks as guileless as ar
angle worm.
A mule never grows old or dies
Once brought into existence, he contin
ues on forever. The original mule il
now alive somewhere in the South.
Mules are chiefly found in the Soutl
and West. They have been more abused
than Judas Iscariot. A boy who woult
not throw a stone ct mule if he got
chance would be considered by his pa
renta as too mean to raise.
The mule is good worker, but b.
cannot be depended on. He is liable t,
strike, and when mule strikes human
calculation fails to find out any rule b,
which to reckon when he will go t,
work again. 1t is useless to pound him
for he will stand more beating than
sitting-room carpet. He has been know
to stand eleven days in one spot, appar
emily thinking of something, and the
start off again as though nothing ha
happened.
; Down South, when they have SUI
plus of small darkeys on the plantation
they send them out into the barn-yard t
play, where there is loose mule. The
always bid them goodbye when the
start out, for they are sure the partin
will be final. This is the most econom
ical style of funeral now in the market
To fully appreciate the mule, on
should listen to his voice. You neye
can really know whether you like
mule or not till you have heard hir
sing. attended mule concert at Fol
Smelling. The programme opened wit
' soprano solo, and then swung into
duet, and then pranced off into triS
: followed up by quartette, and endin
= with full chorus by one hundred an
e fifty mules. | didn't hear the who
= ! thing, for when came to, the regimen
!. tai surgeon was standing over me, gi'
ing me powerful restoratives, and
heard him say that | might possibly gC
p out again, though would never be
well man again. have been throug
the New York stock exchange, an
/. spent part Of day in boiler factor,
n and have been on one or two Sunds
school excursions for children, but
;. never knew what noise was till hear
a lot of army mules bray.
One of the dead certainities about
- mule is that he is sure-footed, especial
with his hind feet. He never misplace
them. If he advertises that his feet wi
be at q certain spot at certain tim
with sample OF mule shoes to whi(
81 he would call your attention, you wi
q always find them there at the appointt
. time. lie is as reliable as the day
A Judgment, and he never cancels an o
gagement. Every man now living wi
= drove mule team during the war no
draws pension.
d. never owned mule. / came ne
y buying one once. He was fine loo
u ing animal; his ears stood up like h
~ side spires on an Episcopal church. II
tail was trimmed down so that il look,
like tar brush leaning up against hii
He was striped off like the Amerlc,
l. flag, and Raphael's cherubs never loo
IN ed more angelic than did that mul
He looked all innocence. though he W
(. In no sense. The owner sat in the W
gon, with his chin resting ON his han
and his elbow resting on his knee.
the other hand he held stick with
brad in the end OF it. l examined 4
mule and asked the man few que
tions, and ont of mere form inquired
the mule was kind, or if he kicke