The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-12-06
The Romance OF a Sleeping Car.

1T was in the Cedar Rapids sleeper
Outside, it was dark as the inside Of an
slept.
Or tried it.
Some of them slept, like Christian
men and women. Peacefully and
sweetly and quietly.
Others, slept like demons, malignant
~, hideously, fiendishly, as though it
was their mission to keep everybody
Of these, the man in lower number
three was the "boss." When it came
to a square snore with variations, you
wanted to count CLOVER three in.
With full hand and a. pocket full of
rocks. '''s' ''
We never heard anything snorc like
him. 1t was the most systematic snor-
ing that was ever done, even on one If
those tournaments Of snoring, a sleep
ing car. He didn't begin as soon as
the lamps were turned down and every
body was in bed. Oh, no. There was
more cold-blooded diabolism in his sys-
tenn than that. He waited until every
body had had little taste of sleep, Just
to see how good and pleasant it was,
and then he broke in on their slumbers
like winged, breathing demon, and
they never knew what peace was again
that night.
He started out with Il terrific ~"
Gn-r-r-r-t!'
That opened every eye in the car
We all hoped it was an accident, how
ever, and trusting that he wouldn't do
it again, we all forgave him. Then he
blasted our hopes and curdled the sweet
serenity of our forgiveness by long
drawn
"Gw-a-h-h-h-hah!'
That sounded too much like business
to be accidental. Then every head in
that sleepless sleeper was held off the
pillow for minute, waiting, in breath
less suspense, to hear the worst, and
the sleeper in lower three went on,
in long-drawn, regular cadences that
indicated good staying qualities.
Gwa-a-ah! Gwa-a-a-h! Gahwahwah!
Gahwahwah! Gahwa-a-a-ahr'
Evidently it was going to last all
night, and the weary heads dropped
back on the sleepless pillows and the
swearing began. 1t mumbled along i'm
low, muttering tones, like the distant
echoes of Il profane thunder storm.
Pretty soon GLOVER three gave us Il
little variation. He shot off spitcful
"Gwock!
Which sounded as though his nose had
got mad at him and was going to
strike. Then there was pause and we
began TO hope he had either awakened
from sleep or strangled to death, no.
body cared very particularly which.
But he disappointed everybody with Il
cultural
Gnroochr'
Then he paused again for breath, and
when he had accumulated enough for
his purposes he resumed business with
a stertorous
"Kowpfr'
That nearly shot the roof off the car.
Then he went on playing such fantastic
tricks with his nose and breathing
things that would make the immortal
gods weep, if they did but hear them.
1t seemed II matter incredible, it seemed
an utter, prcposterous impossibility
that any human being could make the
monstrOus, hideous noises with its
breathing machine that the fellow in
CLOVER three was making with his.
He ran through all the ranges of the
nasal gamut, he went up and down Il
very chromatic scale of shores, he ran
through intricate and fearful variations
until l. seemed that his nose must be
out of joint in thousand places. All
the night and all night through he told
his story.
"Gowah; gurrrh! gu-r-r-r! Kowpfl!!
Gawawwah! gawall-hah! gwock!
gwarrrt! gwah-h-h-h! whoof!'
Just as the other passengers had
consulted together how they might
slay him, morning dawncd and I" lower
number three awoke. Everybody
watched the curtains to see what mali
: ner of man it was that had made that
beautiful sleeping-car a pandemonium.
Presently the toilet was completed, the
curtains parted, and CLOVER number
three stood revealed.
Great heavens!
1t was fair young girl, with golden
hair, and timid, pleading eyes, like a
hunted fawn' s!-Bu,Iingto H0Wk-Eyc.
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