The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1877-09-17
First Experience I'm Marketing by
Young Benedict

Young Benedict.
A young benedict who lives on -
street, was initiated into doing the mar
keting for the family the other morning
His novel experience In this new role
was such that we give it in full, hoping
thereby TO prevent repetition OF SINH
lar mishaps by other ambitious young
men. 1t happened this way:
Dora-George, you must 90 TO market
this morning and lay IN stock OF nice
fresh vegetables, &c. You know we
must economic, and 1t won't do to be
buying from the green groceIs; they
charge too much.
George = (Tickled out OF MS
boots at his wiie's early indications OF
frugality) All right, sweetness, give me
the basket. But what shall | ge.?
Dora-Oh you know! Some beeisteak'
butter, eggs, potatoes and fruit. WHAT
ever gu think you would like.
George was off in jitiy with his bas
keL, and the fist thing ne saw as ne ei
tered the precincts OF the Second ward
market, was some lucious Concord grapes.
"There," he said, II must have some OF
those sure. Dora thinks they are so nice
TO- dessert, and then she don't
get red in the face baking pud-
dlngs or pies" A half peck We
ordered INTO the basket forthwith.
Georges next purchase was some nice
steaks. Then he bethought himself o.
the butter. He regretted he had not
brought tin bucket, Ms the weather was
warm, the butter soft and brown paper
might not keep it from spreading IN the
basket. However he concluded to risk 1t
AS it WAS very cheap and very fresh. 80
in went couple of pounds OF butter on to
the steak, with layer OF brown paper,
borrowed from the butcher, between
them some nice ripe tomatoes 10 sIlce up
in vinegar for breakfast were his next
pu. chase. Now all he wanted was n
dozen OF eggs and then he would be oil
for home. The eggs were selected win
an eye to there freshness from large lot
in a box A queer looking man who had
them tor sale, said "hc had
bought them all from one farmer
who made speciality OF raising
eggs. This f,rmer had the largest
hennery IN the State and the eggs were
all laiG that week" "Good enough, said
George, "it these pan out all right you
shall have my custom regularly.
George now started for home, thinking
he had about all that was necessary; but
Just before be got out OF tn"
market he remembered the pots-
toes. "By guml says George, sit will
never do not to bring home any
potatoes; couldn't getl along without
them" So spying n stand near by where
fine variety were offered tor sale
he purchased half - peck, and before nc
had realized what he had done they were
emptied into his basket al on top OF aIl
the other stuff. He had some mlsgIviHgs
about the way the marketing WAS packed,
but the happy thoughts arising IN his
mind of all he had done aud how tickled
and pleased Dora would De on his ap-
pearance ~ the door waiting TO cook the
steak and arrange the breakfast IN her
inimitabe style, dispelled further torbod
ings. and he hurried home with as light
| n heart as ever beat under vest. Sure
enough when ne arrived within sight OF
| his house there was his wife
wresthed in smiles at his appearance
with his basket teeming with good
things. Che greeting WAS barely over
when Dora, with an exclamation OF hor
ror, asked, What have you doneF'
George placed the basket on the table,
as he did so he imagined there was 81
strange smell about, but following the
| glance of Dora's eyes, he discovered his
right trouser leg besmeared from the mp
down to the bottom with reddish yell
lowish dark colored fluid, about the con-
sistencv of old New Orleans mOlosses.
Light broke in at once npon the amazed
count onances OF the now torlorn looking
pair. Dora, as she hastily removed the
potatoes and came to the broken eggs
and mashed tomatoes, declared 'shc
could not see how any man with grain
of sense could be so stupid MS to put eggs
and tomatoes under dirty potatoes.
George looked dolefully on until Dora
had removed everything but the lucious
Concords A peep ut their condition So
disguised him that he made straight
for barber shop, had his pants
moppcd of and a pint Ci
cologne scattered thereon. He forgot al!
about breakfast; took dinner ut Martins,
and was wondering, when it WAS time to
quit business for supper, whether be
would go home or not. We won't al
tempt to describe Dora's feelings She
first felt like crying with anger, but as
the righteousness OF the scene burst upon
her with alI its force, her merriment
knew no bounds. When George did
not como home to dinner, she thought
she knew what WAS up. SO iorglvlng
and atiectionate mission WAS dispatched
down to the store towards evening, which
set ali things to rights. George can now
lay in his family stock of produce and
garden SASS equal to the oldest beI edict
that goes to market.
P. S.-Tbe evening TtomkLer is MAX
ing specially of denying the occurrence
of the local items CLEANED by the morning
press. SO don't be surprised TO see an ut
tack in its columns this evening on the
above. 1t is about all its stock in trade.