The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-09-13

move 1t. The result can be imagined. feel
sore when think how laughed. Every time
she was ducked, up popped the leg like an excla-
mation.-GIobe- Dewocrat. s~ : iIN.-. -
A Thankful Christian.
| IL WAS in a Baptist curch at Sprpringfeld, the
other evening, that those who felt they had spe
cial cause for thankfnlness were asked to testify
and a genuine son Of toll arose and said: ~ am
not much of public speaker; don't know as
am n Christian; Mebbe I'm not, hut the River
ent Henry Ward Beecher said q fortnight ago as
how the workingman could live on bread and
wather, and thank the Lord the newspapers
are giving him hill for it."-Boston Globe.
A wOODMAN in Austin, New, has named bis
team of eight oxen after leading citizens of the
place. Every day he is heard shouting to them
like this, except that be also uses profanity
"Gee, there, John Lyons; whoa, DR.. Sheridan,
yOu blamed lazy beast haw, there, Col. Price, or
III break every bone in Your darned lazy body
git up, Jack Squires" Then he whacks the min
lister with the butt of the whip, and throws a
stone at the bank president a. -...'
COMMENDABLE CURIosITY.-Tbe following lit.
tie anecdote is told of Papa Wrangel, the oldest
soldier in Europe: When, in 1913, he had to put
down the insurgents of Berlin, they sent him
word that at his first shot they would hang his
wife. For an answer he opened fire. When he
got the upper hand of the rebels, he remarked to
his aide: "My wife. Do you know am curious
10 see III they tiid hang her T. -...s.. .-.
GIADsToNR-Dr Grant, your Longfellow Us q
great favOrite here in England. / suppose you
know him very well. Doctor Grant-He's q
(puf) wonderful animal, no mistake. He's not
running i(puff1 any more, though.- They've got
him up there in Kentucky. improving the stock.
(fuf, puff, Psff) Astonishment Of Gladstone.
The conversation changes. ,,,
How THE IRIsIrMAN SAVED HIS DbG:-fhe
(uyuhrid0A CLy0pfrIe fal nod af<,ru nf n
,Iristman, .st Semerville, who found piece of
poisoned meat in his yard, evidently intended
for his dog. To save the poor beast from destruc-
ton, Pat threw the meat into the swill pail.
hog, of which the poor fellow had not thought.
They had retired for the night aud were talk
ing over the events of the day, in the few min
going to sleep. ooh, that dreadful war in Eu-
rope" she said, i'm voice of deep concern.
"What place is that, my dear, that correspond
ent writes from about the dreadful massacre n
"Tirnova, my dear" H,.. r.. o.,
Tux siren voiced life insu rance agent, who in
the piping days of Initiation beguifed his thou
sands, has made his thousa lands and retired. But
his victims still drudge YEARLY along on the
tiresome pathway of annual premiums, and in
wardly wish that they had his head under their
right arm and his nose in chancery. I,E.at.-
HARPERs: A sensitive plant-(H Herr Pumper-
nickel, having just played composition of his
own, burst into tears). Chorus Of frieuds-"Oh,
what is the mstteri What can We do for you"
Herr Pumpernickel-"Ach! Messing! Messing /!
Bot ven hear really coot music, zen must al
ways weep" ...9....,... ............
A PORTLAND (0regonl Chinsman became the
father of IN American born son, and Al he dane.
ID around, swinging his pigtail and knocking
over the opium jars, he exclaimed me Mclean
man, ale samee! Ne heap Washington! Me
sewing machine agent! Go way! Whoopee ~
'..sf.- H-I -
A CALIFORNIA well caved in OH . California
digger, and he was under the dirt for three days
He asked for fried eggs, when taken out, and
then inquired if Tilden had yet been sworn in.
1t seemed as though he had been buried two
months.-Defroit Free Press
DETROIT Pest: Our revolutionary fathers were
wiser than in some things Gen. Stark re-
marked, at the battle of Bennington "Boys,
you must win this fight or Molly Stark will sleep
to-nights widow. Nowadays, he wonidn't be 50
sure about Molly. -a -st
RECENTLY, while the President was at the
Washington Schuetzenfest, factotum. wishi ng
to do the handsome thing. said, "Mr. President,
I vos glat you komed. We yoost vos keepin
some water ON ice for you, ehf" --7