Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1877-03-21
.doNTPELIER VT, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 81 1877.

may associate with them Everywhere else,
with this well known inequality of income,
why may we not appear at the same party
without being arrayed in as costly toilet as
theirs. This tyranny of fashon,"I | con-
tinued, warming with my theme, (which
drives us to expenditures which we cannot
afford, is all wrong. II is this which makes
the poor attempt such costly funerals. It
is this which drives so many into vice, be-
cause the pressure of public opinion is so
strong for good appearance. Poverty is
hard. Poverty is despised. And so, not to
be despised, we struggle to escape the ap-
pearance, and make false show of our
selves before our friends We do ourselves
the injustice of spending money for dress,
that is needed for something else. What is
needed is moral courage to dare to appear
on such occasions in such dress as we can
afford. To wear the best we have, is to do
all honor TO our hostess and the occasion.
And not to be distressed at the comparison
of ourselves with those in better costume
than ours, would be a triumph over our
meaner selves. that would be well worth
struggle"
ended this rather fine sounding argument
with feeling that had touched the bottom
of the subject, and if my wife were not con-
to be. At least had done my duty. She
laid down the garment in which her needle
had been making envious stabs, while she
quietly took in and weighed my heavy ar
gument. And saw by the twinkle of her
eyes that was far from having achieved
the triumph imagined.
"What you say sounds very WELL but
am disposed to think there is a flaw in your
argument somewhere. | don't know but a
logician would say there is fatal fault in
your major premise. If | could dress my
self as should desire, to attend this party,
| should not expect to dress as deliberately as
the best dressed lady there. That is not
necessary. There will be great diversity
both in the styles and the expense of the
toilets. And those who have not the finest
will have no reason to b. ashamed. The sole
purpose of such gatherings is not to see who
can dress the best, neither does anybody de-
sire uniformity. And yet there is a general
standard of dress which custom fixes as the
fitting thing for such occasions. And while
we move in society we have no right to
ignore these unwritten laws, which virtually
regulate all these matters. The false major
| spoke of is this: you assume that it is i'm
portant that we should attend such parties
while say, on the other hand, that we ought
not to attempt to attend them unless we are
so situated that we can comply with the un-
lerstood laws which define how we shall APP
pear. The etiquette of a court prescribes
that you cannot be presented to the king ex-
cept in the court dress. The maintenance
of this rule is part of that which keeps up
the dignity of the royal receptions. 1t is
not necessary that you should be presented.
1t is foolish to desire it unless you can con-
form to this rule. The same principle ap-
plies in our democratic courts. An invita-
tion TO any entertainment carries with it an
understanding as to what will be its social
grade. And the only sensible ways of deal
ing with it are to accept it and conform to
the requirements of society, or to decline it.
We need not feel that we ostraciZe ourselves
from good society 10y declining invitations
to full dress parties. At the little tea party
at Mrs. Blanks, the other evening, where not
more than dozen were present, we met just
as rich, just as cultivated people as will be
at this party next Wednesday evening and
we had as nice a supper as they will have.
But we did not have to dress as much. And
the social interview was what will be simply
impossible in large party"
No." repeated my wife, with emphasis,
" am satisfied that your position is wrong,
1t is not the thing to go where you cannot
conform to the style which custom fixes as
suitable to the occasion. And the unfortu-
nate ones are not those who stav at home
for this reason, but those who make expen.
ditures which their circumstances will not
warrant in the foolish attempt to come up
to that style"
She paused. and as think it is good
rule to let woman have the last word, !
said no more.
And we didn't go to Mrs. Jones party
The AdUdnce.