The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1877-05-16
VARIETY.

Topper has sf Us, bu; will try to bear the loss
with our proyerbial philosophy.
A great many people named Hayes are calling upon
the President bot they soon learn that he is not
M BePot.
A Yorkshire woman is so olesnly that she uses two
rolling rin,-one for the pastry, and the other for
. her husbands head.
Lady 10 ~aitsTl Don't put ths, ice into the COB
Nj ls. with youT fingers. waiter-Lor' ma'Am. I don't
mind my hands are very
Its pleasant to shake hands with girl whose I'm
gers are covered with diamonds for you feel that you
Wy have f5rtupe within your very grasp.
The New York Herald asks: Did Vulcan pass
before Apollo yesterday - We think ii very likely.
W Age before beauty you know.
oxford and Cambridge dined together on the eve
ping q the race, jEst if there difference
between them. Il was dead eat you know.
You eah always detect bachelor by the way he
handle. baby. hut he safe frOm loss j, is well to
Ese borrowed baby in making the experiment.
Astresse. have their pictures taken when they are
young, and when they old their lithographs do
, aot depart from them.
There are q AZ $40 dollar hills in circulation.
aHd il As if editor might get hold OF one
W. SHes in A while
When life insurance company can pay its Presi-
lent Sso.O0o Per year 1t afford less rate. and
n0re dividends to its II can bat it won't
Even il : boy is always whistling Il want to be
y angel, ii Is Just as vel to keep the preserved
feArs the top shelf Of the pantry.
r SeasouA5ls-yinrod-' What out asain, Vicar /!
resh nag. TOO though, parsons did not hunt just
bow The Wear" All but this is q Lent borse!''
The present style Of weather calls to mind the re-
Grk @! a sable brother, that e he had mos Aiers
Otiss5 If he lived fro de month Of March be lived
N D. le year.
Iae man Who returned from the Centennial with
ND medal is confident that he could have taken one
lhsy had 10, been 50 carefully guarded by police
Thalers say that whales are increasing in numbers
w ;zsi tia; in sa ye2zs iron nov il won't be safe
M nan to be ont after ten O'Clock unless he has
2 Eish him.
be Darlington HaEkeye remarks That which
cal = Goldfish by any other would have the
vague. dreamy, half suggestive, spirit ual Fl ae
H ss"
J. Puns,sr was once thrust into closet with the
keat that he would uot be released until he made
Al. Almost instzntaneously be exclaimed, '' O.
y The d0ofi''
"A aspwor.h Dixon says that view Of Niagara Falls
els TO suicide. a knowledge Of this fact viii be
MN laable IL the civil service. Dishonest officials
lzia be sent to report on the aspect the falls.
negro Me;hOdis,'s idea Ct ministerial quaIihcA-
DE preacher is mo lArEt den Mis,uh
j. vas ba,. Lor' bless yog. sah he ain'5 got de
Stal sound Ike Mistuh Boles he'd. No, indeedy p
Little boy Of or acquaintance who had just learned
"; The names Johu and Jack were used interchange
u, taak occasion. not unnasurally. call his sic
attention to picture Of Sc Jaek the Bapiist-''
Prints Of every kind can be bought cheaper in
szgo than in New York BOston.-IChieAcC
knss-l Yes. even Chicago bonds are cheaper than
BE q almost Euy other city.
Dsrtmouih College has forbidden its students ic
p billiards. drink liquor or dance, and there viii
Sourse. be rush to Yale or Harvard. where moth.
ID stands in the way Of education.
Do you think your father is going to move ont
rppr." Inquired the owner Of rented house Of tb,
~ q his tenant :. Reckon so.'' was the reply
ss've begun using the wiudsE frames for fire wood %
M. he Detroit Free Press says: aThe best freproO
for yogrsilver is not 70 have any silver Then
hgea Il We haven't 60; as good vaul; Of shA, sOr
iz p ingenuity Of EaAu could possibly devise
ar tines have driven many merchants to the casl
stou, and they arc now ornameuting their store
zassoes sueA As /" Pay to-day. trust to-nSr
I" III trast. bsst; = a In God we trust
y. .As-s cash"
Kansas farmer purchased revolver for his wifi
&& insisted target practice. 50 ihai she could de
< hex house it case ofhis absence. Afser the bul
"a been dag Ost Of his leg and the cor buried
5 as guessed thai she'd better shoot with an axe
have YOU any baued turkeys'' asked hungr,
olsr il Nevada restaurant. The proprietor
his azad on his revolver and cried. "N No in.i
6I hsi1as hs-s. Yong MAJ we're honest here. an,
boDs nOthine'.''
lseiaa;iag female music teAehe. to Asniripl
seuiieaAs pupil: Try tia; again. Mr.. c.
- Do Re. Nj Teashe--'s ThA, won't do
@7 Do ao' hold on to Nj long enough" Pupi
7tt=ily)- - wish had chance to-
s. Louis Sunday school boy gave hi. tesshe
ne. Illustrative definition Of responsibility :
~ has two bEstOus for their s'penders SOS I,
iaeir pants ~. wbeu one button comes Of
Z ihs7s's goOa deal Of OtresPOasibilty or the Othe
a"
Holland says the mos; precious possession thA
cones TO in this world Is woman
II Eoah seen that be has never observed tn
. e2ss viii Which nan handles meersehaau
iaAi Is yasl beginning to have bilious lOOl
the base OF TIE b9vl.
p Has a civil eHEiaesr. Hesurreyed the prom
Ana--.Nsu Orleans RePublisAa-l No. he
s engineer. lie viewed '' the landscape ORE
: '1 Posti Ttis Is Horeble he was Wall stree
te-' He was little bare among the bull
ih' NeS York Telegram: "a village con
ian Il Vermont disturbed the other san
1'ins The EeDtniary ssillness following ;b
p'-ysr, By voioe from the adjoining dwell
: Gaming, " Mary. where's the nAilss'' SoOl
y lsSss cane In the sOEse-p0t, you foOlT'