, 1877-01-14
HuMQR.

Many young man who considers himself III
2 apollo is only an APOLOGY for man.
> A good action is never thrown AWAY, and thst
e IS why so few OF them arc seen lying around
. Loose. =:
; =" Young man, he said solernnly, tI'm SONY
| to see you smoking tobacco;'' and the gouar
man assured him that he wasn't, that 1t was !
| | Connecticut cigar.
It isn't Chinese cheap labor that's going to
ruin us; it's the disposition to lean up Against
the sunny side OF the fence and let soIuc uther
feller speed the plow.
What the Sioux Indian said to the Govern
| mcnt officer: /" Why don't white mau nut H.
jun on wheels, like brave at robacco-storc, 50 r.
can be wheeled around casy2''
The beginning Of q new year is critical period
IN every youngg mans lite. II he sw;ars oil OF
cigars and lager the great danger is that he will
go the other extreme of keeping diary.
Mamma. said the Old lady's daughter.
|don't you think that modern table is out Of
place in that ancient pictures' sOh! Ia. no.
Ihey bad modern tables in them DAYS, as well
rs now.''
can't pass you tonight" said the door
Keeper OF coneert-room to an fnyetcrate dead
head: "Well, don't want you to pass me,'
sald Inc qead-head. yea You just stay where you
| courier-3ournal It is consoling to man to-.
slip up, fall down. lie fiat on his back, and read
big sign stuck out, " Insure a-ninst accidents.'
| 1t looks like the agents had creased the side
| walk, and meant business. !.
Worcester Press: After reading so much
about the safety of the Ashtabu}a bridge, We
cannot help wondering that the rest OF the road
didn't cave in and leave that model OF solit,tT
and hrmness still standing.
Boston Globe: It is noticeable that peopIe will
take advantage Of the slightest prcte5t to act
pan1cky in church and rush out; whereas wien
there Is an alarm OF fire in a san1ple-ruo1n, it
takes oFeE an hour to get three or four men out
doors.
the cfigy Of the woman cut to pieces exposed At
tue Morgue for Identification t.You recognIze
itF Yes, perfectly; it is my sister-in-Iaw's
cousin Only when knew her she wasn't in
wax.''-Paris paper.
a wonderful evolutionary freak has Just come
tratcd papers pictured the New Year coming II
as acomcly and tripping maid This wear tho
same paper represents the same year gnug out
az gray y-haired, totternc old man. viii Prof.
huxley explain? ?-4'orristorn Herald
4 prominent Connecticut writer Is noted for
bctore Christmas q gentleman spoke to q friend
o. making the author q present. Il: vant to
get him something TINT he would kccp,r obsesy-
Gu Inc gentleman. '' In that case would sug-
gest cake Of soap,' remarked tile friend.
When Young and inexperienced man has
@t'FAeS ~ w O4S5CEt LuE tuEkCS. anu Is III
cold perspiration over the uncertainty rs to:
which end the wishboue is situated In, nothing
pleases him so much as to have the scientific
person who Is present request the company tos j.:
Watch ana note the beautiful system Of anatomy,
displayed In fowl.
two OF his brothers, whom he hail not heard
from since they left the old country. One day
nc stood in front Of alarge boiler, on which was
painted. Patented, ! $50" On this he e.
Pat an Ted, 1s7u!' That's the yiry rear they
came out, and they're both bilermakcrs! ~
A Fair Haven (Vt) drug clerk sent a man to
the happy hunting grounds the other day By
giving him hellcborc instead Of yaler;an. The
trug clerk was much chagrincd when they told
there wasn't much doing he believed he'd have
% paste labels on some Of the bottles; the old
nan was getting to carry such stock OF stuff
IN the shelves now that no fellow could remem-
Der half Of it. -. +:
Danbury iV<ns: The son Of poor but honest
parents, living on Munson street, lugged up =
basket Of potatoes from the cellar the other
'vcning to set them By the stove to keep them
rom freezing. 1t was hard job, but, being .
~ philosopher, be extracted comfort from it. Ho
AID: I'm glad pa Is q poor man. It be was
ich he'd have laid in his potatoes By the barrel
instead Of by the peck"
4 young man from New Haven came out
Vest to lecture last week. He made bis debut
t Cairo, H., and his first effort pleased the
eople SO well that when he dropped out OF the
ack window Of the hall they ran around the
lock aud followed him to his MOTEL and went TO
is room to look for him, and kept him sitting
n the roof holding the scuttle down until l. J.
clock in the morning. He has telegraphed to :
cw Haven for money to come home On.
The experienced Burlington Eamkeys says:
It is terrible to get up these mornings at =
clock, with the mercury trying to get oat Of
le bottom OF the thermometer, to fnd every
e 10 the house gone dead ont, the key Of the
ood-shed down at charity ball, In the hired !.
rl's pocket, and the hatchet borrowed the
'enine previous BY boy in the next street to =. :
AXE sled, and not returned It makes man :
ant to sell his stoves and move down into :.
ouisiana and endure bulldoziug the rest OF h:s >.
e.:' .- I.
II have fully resolved he said at the break !
at table yesterday morning, mot to touch q =: :.
op Of the old thing this year, SO help me Era-E !:
ous." His wife looked pleased, and all hi: Il.
lends congratulated him when they heard ui H.
e new departure Last night when he went
me at II o'clock he was hurrahing for Gen.. !:
ckson, and calling on the Louisiana Returning :
'ard to throw him out II he ever touched : 4
op Of the old thing In his life. Subsequent ~ /.
velopments revealed The fact that the OH @i.
Ing Was water.