The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1877-05-03
PENCIL AND CIsSORs.

PENCIL AND CIsSORs.
THE season of croquet and getting mad
is here.
POVERTY is the only burden which
grows heavier by being shared by those
we love.
THOSE men are worthy TO be remem-
bered who have left the world better than
they found it.
THOSE who come to you to talk about
others are the ones who go to others to
talk about you.
WHY is law suit like a wood saw?
Because whichever way it goes, down
comes the dust.
CALUMNY, though raised upon moth
ing, is too swift to be overtaken, and too
volatile to be impeded.
THERE is no error SO crooked but it
has in it some lines of truth. This 10
why it is so successful.
TAKE things as they are, and make
the best of them. That isthe only true
and practical philosophy.
CHAT portable stove saves half the
fuel" said an ironmonger. Faix, thin,
Pll take two of thin. and save it all, "
replied his customer.
A PHILOSOPHER who went to church
where the people came in late, said it
was the fashion there for nobody to go
till everybody got there"
JAMES BAXTER, of Baltimore. would
be good man to send to the Black
Hills. A pistol was fired at him in
recent fight, and the ball fattened nhis
forehead without iDjuring him.
SOME unprincipled scientist has dis
covered a new and improved variety of
cockroach in Florida, and bestoyed upon
it the name of Perplaneca australasia.
A MAN at Leavenworth fired at ghost
and brought down his wife. Women
should always put on black when they
get up to see if COW hasn't got into the
garden. go,
AN urchin, whose shoes look as II they
were soon to be shed, looking at sign
of blue glass in one of the store windows
was heard to observe: More stun 10
run into fellows foot"
FROM THE ITALIAN.
The mast IA not-the hues in which 'as drest
Fond memory supplies;
The future is not-hope borne in the breast
Its faneied joys arise;
| Tho present is not-like the ightnings gleam
It's brief Illusions seem;
This. is the life allotted unto man,
A memory, a hope, Heeting moments span.
"Do YOU think 1 shall have Justice
done to met" said culprit to his shre"d
counsel. az am afraid somewhat that
YOU WON'T" replied the lawyer, Il see
two men on the jury who are very much
opposed to Eanging'"
"DoEs your sister Annie ever say any
thing about meT asked an anxious
lover to little girl. "Yes," was the
reply. "she said if you had rockers on
your shoes they'd make such nice
cradle for my doll"
THERE is an inexpressible charm to
care-worn age in the hopes which can
never more be its own, and the illusions
which can never again lend grace 10
tine beaten path of existence. IL Is
memory that makes the old indulgent to
the young.
NoBR1sTowN Herald: A Southern hu-
morist, known as Bill Arp, was recently
killed in Texas by falling from wagon
His sad fate should warn all newspaper
men to refrain from perpetrating jokes
Write your humor with pair OF shears
and your days shall be long in the land
, As George Ill was walking the guar
ter-deck of one of his men-ot-war, WIFI
, his hat on, sailor asked his mess-matt
: "Who that fellow was who did no
, douse his peak to the Admiral Z" Why
f it's the King" "Well, king or NJ
king" retorted the other, "he's an un
mannerly dogw Lord where shoult
: he learn manners~ replied Jack, :" h
was never outside of land in his life"
Boston Journal: An elderly gentle
: man, of nearly seventy winters, wa
- taking his noon cup of coffee at Mr.
y Harrington's a few days since when
n much younger friend suggested that col
4 fee drinking. was very injurious.
;. that so?' inquired the veteran; "wel
: now, you sit down and tell me all abou
i it not that l am much interested on m
= own account, but 1 should like to te
my father, who is about ninety years
age, and who persists in drinking coffee