The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1877-04-14
HUMOROUS.

i
want to be an angel" it is just as vel
to keep the preserved pears on the top
shelf of the pantry.-Ronae Sentinel.
DIAMONDS are going out of fashion,
and soon there will be nothing to dis.
tlnguish Niagara hackman from the
ordinary capitalist.
AN advertisement in Boston news.
paper is as follows: Wanted, a young
man IN the dry goods trade; to be partly
outdoors and partly behind the coun
ter"
A WICKED exchange says that Moody's
popularity at the Hub Is waning. In
moment of unguarded enthusiasm he
blurted out that heaven was more
desirable place than Boston.-Rawkeye
A LITTLE boy of our acquaintance
who had just learned that the names
John and Jack were used interchange,
ably, took occasion, not unnaturally,
to call his sisters attention to a pic
ture of Jack the Baptist" Sunday
School Times
A TRAMP has confessed that begging
is profitable in New Haven, Conn.
Just say that Hartford man helped
you out by giving you dollar, and
you'll get two dollars from the New
Haven party. Anything to beat Hart
ford. "-Haryord Conn Times.
"WHY do we live; what is there for
us in life?" inquiries the Christian, Req
lister. We don't pretend to answer the
question, but we do know that when a.
man has walked four miles through
the mud to see girl and finds another
fellow sitting up with her, it comes
home, it comes home.-NOrwich Bulle-
tin.
SHE was sweetly dreaming of bright
golden fields where flowers breathed
perfume, and she thought she was
chasing butterflies. Up and down Hill
and dale she ran, and then she caught
beautiful, red winged butterfly, and
awoke to fud that she had nearly
twisted her husbands nose off,
Bridges Smiths Paper.
THERE ls no more striking and sad
dening picture of extreme poverty and
sufferings of the poor, the cruel times,
than 10 see half clad, shoeless, stock
ingless child seated on the cold curb
stone, his old rope-handled basket half
full of charity's dry crusts at his side,
and himself lost in reverie through the
contenting influence of an old cigar
butt. Yo,akers Gazette.
A Heightened lecturer, with Picca-
dilly collar, white kids, and q swallow
tailed coat, undertook to entertain an
Arkansas audience last week with a
discourse on "The Zoophytes of the
Crustacean Period" He hadn't spoken
more than three minutes though, be-
fore the audience rose en- masse, and
ball from Colts pistol Zeal. 36) sent
him climbing up the golden rostrum.
INSTRUCTOR in astronomy: "And
now, young gentlemen, which of you
can tell me the name of the greatest
of the planets the champion planet,
SO to speak-of our solar system p
Student: 81 can, sir; it's Saturn"
Instructor, besitatingly: "And how's
that, pray?" Student: "Why, be-
cause he carries the belt" Instructor
dismisses the class without further
comment.
A Boston man who opened grocery
store here recently felt obliged last
week to abandon business and go
home. He said that trade was bad,
but the real reason is generally be-
lieved to be that the customers who
came in to sit around on the cracker
barrels evenings held no views on the
correlation of forces, and thought Jo-
sephus was colored man, who drove
coalcart over On the West S;de.-
NorOieh Bulletin.
MAssA," said black steward to his
captain, as they fell in with home
ward bound vessel, 81 wish you'd
write few lines for me to send to the
old woman, cause l can't write"
/" Certainly" assented the good
skipper, taking his writing materials;
" what shall l say Pompey told the
story that he wished his wife to know,
which his amanuensis faithfully re-
corded Is that all, Pomp?" asked
the captain, preparing to seal the let
ter. Yes, massa" replied he, showing
his worries, tank you; but fore you
close him jst say, Please scuse bad
spelling and writing will ye2n