davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-06-15
Advice TO Correspondents.

Never write with pen or ink. 1t is
altogether too plain, and doesn't hold
the mind of the editors and printers
closely enough to their work.
If you are compelled TO use ink. never
use that vuligarity known as the blotting
pad. If you drop blot of ink OH the
paper, lick il Off. The intelligent COM
positor loves nothing so dearly a. TO
read through the smear this will make
across twenty or thirty words. We
have seen him hang over such piece
of copy half an hour, swearing like a
pirate all the time, he felt that good.
Don't punctuate. We prefer TO punct-
uate all manuscript sent to us. And
don't use capitals. Then we can punct-
r"'n and capitalize to suit ourself, and
yS'c' article, when you see ii in print,
will astonish even if it does not please
you.
Don't try to write too plainly. 1t is
sign Of plebeian origin and public
school-breeding. Poor writing is an
indication of genius. It's about the only
indication of genius that great many
men possess. Scrawl your article with
your eyes shut, and make every word
illegible as you can. We get the same
price for it from the rag man as though
it were covered with copper-plate sen-
tences.
Avoid all painstaking with proper
names. We know the full name of ev-
cry man, woman and child in the Uni
ted Statds, and the merest hint at the
name is sufficient. For instance, if you
write character something like a
drunken figure SO" and then draw q
wavy line, we will know at once that
it means Samuel Morrison, even though
YOU may think YOU mean "Lemuel Mes
senger." 1t Is great mistake that pro-
per names should be written plainly.
Always write on both sides of the pa
per, and when you have filed both sides
of every page trail line up and down
every margin, and back to the top OF
the first page, closing your article by
writing the signature Just above the
date. How we do love to get hold Of
articles written in this style. And how
we would like to get hold of the man who
sends them. just for ten minutes
Alone. lii the woods, with q cannon
in our hip pocket. Revenge is sweet
yum, yum, yum.
Lay your paper on the ground when
you write: the rougher the ground the
better.
Coarse brown wrapping paper is tho
best for writing Your articles on. i
you can tear down an old circus poster
and write ON the pasty side of it with {
pine stick, ii will do still better.
When your article is completed
crunch your paper in your pocket ant
carry it two or three days before send
ing it. This rubs of the superhuoui
pencil marks. and makes it lighter to
handle.
If you can think Of it, lose one pagt
out of the middle of your article. w,
can easily supply what is missing ant
we love TO do 1t. We have nothing clst
TO do.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-06-15
For the Register.
Castles on Champlain.
ny MRS. NELLIE FISHER.

You may talk Of the lakes on Kilsneys green
The blue lochs In scotla's land,
And the sunlit waters Of lovely Lucerne,
BY Alpine breezes famed.
But give me boat In the soft moonlight,
On the waters of Lake Champlain
And let me drift with the gentle tide,
Building fairy Chdtedu1 en- EspdUis.
Like the far famed breath of Elyslum
Is the wealth of her bracing air,
And the pickerel that roam in her waters clear
Outrival the eastern dainties rare.
On, give me boat aud trolling line,
On the waters of lovely Champlain,
And III be content 10 drift with the tide
Building fairy Chateaar Ell Espdgne,
When thunders rolled necessarily,
And lightning swept the sky,
And the seething waves against the rocks
Came dashing wild and high,
We have stood within thy land locked bay,
oh. grand old Lake Champlainl
watching In wonder thy mad waters play
Building their foaming Chateaar en- Fspagnc.
We have lain on the boughs, meath the white TEN
In the camp fires glowing light,
And wondered what the reEtless waves were say
Ing,
In the still aud solemn night
Lighter than down 10 2 leafy bed,
On the shores OF Lake Champlain-
Lulled gently to rest by the sobbing waves.
Building fairy ChateauE en- Espagne.
In the sweet summer air, away from all care,
We would roam DER thy waters blue.
We would rest In the shade of thy rock bound
shore,
-. Thy strange wonders in silence review.
We would sink to rest In our last, long sleep,
BY thy waters, lovely Champlain;
While others will roam in the haunta we have
loved,
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-06-15
The Boomerang.

My experience in boomerangs is main
ly confined to the natives about the Con-
damine and its aff1uents, where I was
frequently in company with natives for
about year. They had two weapons,
one large, for war, the other small, for
game. | should think the weapon Is
seldom thrown in war, since most of
their contests (such as they are) take
place iii scrub or forest, where it could
not be used to advantage; but | have
seen native frightfully cut in the
abdomen, and was told by a ma
tive that he had been struck by a
boomerang thrown by the hostile party.
have seen few of these contests, but
never saw the boomerang used in any
way. The "waddys" were thrown
freely, the spear seldom. The game
boomerang is thrown among flights of
ducks, and also parrots when congrega-
ted on the trees and gathering nectar
from their flowers, and with marked ei-
leet. This | have seen several times.
There are two ways of throwing the
weapon. which, as could throw Il well
at one time, ! will endeavor 10 ho ,cribe
1t is grasped quite at the end by the
right hand and raised above the head.
the elbow being bent, the weapon as
suming position with its convex edge
downward on nearly horizontal line
at right angles TO the intended line of
flight. The arm is brought swiftly
round from left to right, becoming grad
ually extended until il reaches a line
directly in front of the face, when the
weapon is delivered from the now
straight arm, with the coneave edge
toward the line of flight. This is the
method of throwing into the air. No
dependence can be placed OH the return
of the weapon within a circle Of twenty
yards, though it sometimes returns dan
gerously near the throwor. If ii meets
with an obstacle ii is either stopped and
falls dead to the earth, or its course is
changed In either case its peculiar
motion is being destroyed, as must be
obvious. In the other method of throw
ing, the weapon is held in the same
way, but. delivered nearer on line with
the hip, and made to strike the earth
about ten yards in front of the thrower,
pitching, believe, though it is not easy
to observe, OH one of its horns. Thence
ii richochets and flies straight away for
perhaps seventy or eighty yards, keep
ing a position of about four feet from
the earth, and gradually rising until it
Is spent. 1t returns very little, if at all.
In this way only can il be used for war,
since in tLe other 1t begins TO mount at
once, and would soon be above the en-
emy's head. The weapon Is made OF
various woods, a piece with slight ell
bow being selected. II is hardened by
baking. The right form is arrived at
by trial, as have seen during the pro-
cess of manufacture. Those sold to Eu-
ropeans are the failures. | had to pay
a good price for the two l brought
home, but they are excellent specimens,
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-06-15
The Seven Wise Men.

Most people have heard of the "seven
wise men Of Greece" but yery few
know who they were OF how they came
to be called so. Here is the story, and
the moral of it is worth remembering if
their names are not:
The seven wise men of Greece are sup
posed to have lived in the fifth century
before Christ. Their names are Pitta-
Gus, Bias, Solon, Thalcs, Chilon, Cleob-
ulus, and Periander. The reason Of
their being called wise is given differ
emily by various authors; but the most
approved accounts state that, as some
Coans were fishing, certain strangers
i'll the nets without seeing it. When the
nets were drawn in they were found to
contain a golden tripod which Helen, as
she sailed from Troy, is supposed to have
thrown there. A dispute arose be-
tween the fishermen and the strangers
as to whom it belonged, and, as they
could not agree, they took it to the tenn
pie of Apollo and consulted the prizes
tess as TO what should be done with il
She said ii must be given to the wisest
man in Greece: and it was accordingly
sent il TO Bias, who declared that Thales
was wiser, and sent it to him. Thales
sent il to another one, and SO on, until
1t had passed through the hands of all
the men, distinguished afterward by
the title of the "Seven Wise Men," and,
as each one claimed that the other was
wiser then lie, it was finally sent to the
Temple of Apollo, where it still re-
mains to teach the lesson that the wisest
are the most distrusttul of their wis
dom.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-06-15
Carpets.

Administer carpets derive their name
from the town at which they were for
merly made. Brussels carpets may con-
sist of six thicknesses of worsted; they
are also made of five, four, three, and
even two thicknesses, but more particu-
larly of three, four and five. A carpet
which consists of six thicknesses is
termed "six-frame carpet" and, in
like manner, one formed of five thick
nesses is "five-frame;" and one OF four
thicknesses, ''four-frame," aud SO on.
The greater the thickness the better the
carpet. What are now termed Wilton
carpets may be described as Brussels
carpets with velvet (instead of a
looped) pile. They are made in exactly
the same manner as Brussels carpets,
only the wire over which the warp
threads pass is larger, aud its end &
fattened into a blade resembling that
of a pocket-knife. The increased size
Of the wire makes bigger loops, and the
knife-blade cuts the loops as the wire is
drawn from the carpet, making a vel.
vet-like surface. Tapestry" carpets
have looped surface like Brussels, but
the loops are often cut, when a "velyet.
pile" carpet Is formed-thc vclvet-p pile
bearing the same relation to tapestry
that Wilton does to Brussels.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-06-15

Every man, 10 be successful in any
branch ofInanutacturing, must turn out
good goods. There is 10 permanent
success without it, consequently success
is a strong recommendation for quality.
When we find parties like Mr.. Daniel
f. Beatty, of Washington, n. j., the
manufacturer and proprietor of the Be
atty piano and Beatty's organs, making
sweeping sales each month and each
month increasing, there is no other con-
clusion TO be reached than that the in
struments are superior. Every patron
of Mr.. Beatty speaks in the same
strain, pronouncing them the best.
See the advertisement in this paper. II
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-06-15

CONSUMPTION AND CLMATE.-The
census of 1870 shows the average NOR.
tality from consumption throughout the
Union TO be in rough way proper.
tionsl to the average temperature of the
given state. Deaths from this cause are
ten times as frequent in Massachusetts,
and-as Mr.. Bell has rather candidly
neglected to inform us, says an ex.
change-twice as frequent in Alinnesots
as they are in Georgia. Minnesota is
indeed colder state than Massachu-
retts, but its greater cold is offset
in part, by the greater dryness OF
soil. A damp soil Is one of the most
prolific causes of consumption. Mime.
sofa occupies an elevated portion of the
continent; it is an undulating country
and its natural watersheds insure its
thorough drainage. This circumstance
undoubtedly conduces to the health.
ness of the climate. But we have found
from personal observation, that where
persons are liable to consumption, il is
far better to take some prescribed
remedy, such as DR.. A. j. Flagg',
Cough and Lung Syrup, which is sure
to cure if taken in time, and will relieve
the worst cases.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-06-15

The irreclamable loafer is charac-
ter we'll known in every community
great or small. lie is the greatest bore
in the universe. He never pays his way
He is always asking favors. He comes
just at the time he is not wanted, and
asks for that which you are most loath
10 part with. He has a cunning tongue
and an unilinching eye. He can lie BY
the rule. lie. knows all your weak
spots, and he spread his fattery with 9
liberality nnbounded. He never takes
q cut direct. or, if he does, YOU never
know it. iIc is full of patience and
overflow with perseverance. ''No," is
no bar to him. That insurmountable
monosyilablc i no obstruction, no dis
eouregemc.t- IL n;mply rru.es him to
fight his battle, not so much by fighting
as by tiring YOU out. That game wins
when all others fail. lie tires money
out Of your pocket. Every one knows
him; for he has borrowed from every
body and everybody has trusted him
two or three times. Ii is the same old
excuse: sin terrible hurry this morn
ing, and cane on without ms pocket
book ilc has package at the eXpre,-
Office, and hc wants sixty cents until TO-
morrow, aud lac smiles continually
lie will not take no for an answer. He
will talk TO ynn, coax you, plead with
you; and ii YOU finally give him the
money, you feel that YOU have parted
with il forever. What should he done
with such mam:
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-06-15

"Alcohol is narcotic; il is IN no
sense food; il reduces the animal
heat and force; overtaXes the heart !;
weakens the muscles; parOlyzes The
brain and nervous system generally !;
destroys the vital organs; induces
many bodily and mental diseases; i'm
plants evil influences which pass from
one generation 10 another; and short
ems the life of every generation that in
dulges in its se."- b. w. Richardson,
NJ. D., f. II. s.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-06-15

Looks count for nothing, in some
cases. Nothing can be more absurd
than the idea that "looking guilty.
proves guilty. An honest man charged
with crime Is much more likely to blush
at the accusation than the real offender,
who is generally prepared for the event,
and his face "ready made" The very
thought Of being suspected Of anything
will bring lhc blood 10 an innocent mans
cheek, min, times out of ten.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-06-15

III you value your happiness, il you
value your lives-banish from Your
houses, from your tables, from your
sick rooms, every drop of Intoxicating
drink; for be assured they produce
weakness-not strength; sickness-not
health; death, not life. c.n.-[Dr. Collie
nettc.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-06-15

An ine enious girlup on North Hill, who
has never "a feller' In the world, goads
the other girls in that neighborhood to
madness by lighting up the parlor bril-
lisntly and then setting her fathers hat
where Its shadow will be boldly mark
ed against the curtain.- CHawkeye.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-06-15
POST OFFICE NOTICE.
CHURCH DIRECTORY.


MiDDLEBURY.
C1ngre9ationdl-Corner Pleasant and Main ats
Rev. E. p. Hooker, pastor. Sunday services al
10: As AN. aud 80 Pm. Thursday evening prayer
MethoHst-North Pleasantst. Rev. W. H. Row.
som, pastor. Sunday services at 10 IS All. and
80 P.M. Thursday evening prayer meeting al
30. Class meeting on Friday evening at $50
Episoopal-St. Stephsn's Chlrcl-Main.st -
rector. Sunday services at 10 30 Am
Roman Catholic -weybridge-st Rev. P. Gun.
ningham, pastor. Sunday services, alternate Sab
baths, High Mass at 10 ;o1 AM, Vespers and bene
diction at so Pm.
EAST MIDDLEBCRT.
Mefhodtst-Rev. II. Vandecar, pastor Sunday
services at 2 00P.N.
yER0ENNEs.
Bdptist-Rev. Charles Hibbard, pastor. Services
in town hall. Sunday services at 10 AS AM. and
: 80 Pm. Weekly prayer meeting on Thursday
evening att 80.
Methodist-Rey. H. \, Munger, pastor; Sunday
meeting on Thursday evening at 30.
rector. Sunday services at 10 As AN and 20 NJ
Friday evening at 30.
Mission Chdpel-Dr. II. A. Iugham. Sunday
services at 10 IS AN. and 80 Pm. Weekly
PRAYER meeting on Thursday evening.
Romcn Cdtholtc-Rev. P. Cunningham, pastor
Services alternate SabbAth5, High Mass at 10 0i
AM, Vespers and benedicuon at 00PN.
Co-lOre Ore9Gfiordl-Rev, George e. Hall, pastor
Sunday services at 10 As Am. and 80 PM. Weok
ly PRAYER meeting on Thursday evening at 80.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-06-15

Wife (who has become an amateur
painter) ~" What do you think of this
sketch, dearr Husband-"Well, the
drawing of ii involves no breach of the
second commandment, for II is not the
likeness of anything that is in heaven
above, or in the earth beneath, or in
the waters under the earth.,n
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-06-15

The New England undertakers are
reducing their rates in hopes that the
number of funerals will be greatly in
creased thereby. Their prices have
been SO steep heretofore that few per.
sons of ordinary means had the courage
to die. They couldn't afford it.-[Norr
Herald.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-06-15

The bill to regulate the weight OF
eggs that hens may lay has passed the
New York legislature, and any pullet
that lays double yolked egg viii be
considered bigamist.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-06-15

A female justice of the peace in Wy,
oming recently fined her husband heav'
lily for flirting.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-06-15

From boys composition on hens:--
~ cut my Unole Williams hens neck
of with hatchct, and Il scared her TO
death"
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-06-15

Intoxicating liquors, in all their
forms, and however disguised, are the
most productive causes of disease with
which am acquainted. ."-lDr, Trotter,
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-06-15
Salem Lead Company,

Warranted PURE WHITE LEAD-well. known
t&hTough9qt & S New & England as the wHITEsT. FIN.
LEAD TAPE. IS inches wide. on reels Cor Cur.
tain Sticks.
reels for Builders. W
LEAD PIPE, OF any size or thickness.
AZ lowest market prices for goods OF equal quail.
Hyl salem, Mass.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-06-15

Russia salve Is not appreciated by the
Turks.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-02-21
A PIucky SchOOlmiStreSS.

A few miles north of Tecumseh,
Mich, there is a brick school-house,
wherein reigns muscular young school
mistress. She induced the trustees to
brighten the dingy walls with new
paper, and warned the subjects of her
little realm that they must not deface
it. One young lady willfully and re-
peatedly ornam ented the new wall
paper with splashes of ink and inartis-
tic penmanship. The school was dis
missed the culprit detained, the door
locked, and the ferule brandished.
The pupil struck, back and a hand-to-
hand conflict ragged. A brother and
sister Of the young rebel run home
and summoned two indignant parents
to the scene of war. The door was un-
locked, and the father breathed out
threatenings and slaughter; the
mother rolled up her sleeves, seized the
arm of the schoolmistress, and was on
the point of beating and biting her.
when 10 a champion Of the oppressed
entered. It was a beautiful young
gentleman who had driven up in q
sleigh to invite the teacher to go with
him to concert in the village that
evening. He separated the combat
ants, glared at the father, put the
schoolmistress in the CUTTER" and
drove away over the mills and dalss.
After the concert he gave her seven
shooter, and babe her defend herself
In future like man.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-02-21
Beating a Dead-Beat.
Detroit Free-Press.

For some days past an unknown
female has been in the habit Of max
ing an afternoon trip on the Woodward
avenue cars, generally getting aboard at
Jefferson avenue and riding to Brady
street. The first two or three times she
paid her fare promptly enough but the
next trip she wrote something on a
card, handed it to a gentleman, and he
paid her fare. The next trip she waited
till the driver rang the fare-bell, and
when she saw him looking through the
door she advanced and held up card
on which was written:
/ am deaf and dumb"
The driver didn't want to create q
scene, and she rode as dead-head.
Next day she went through the same
performance, but when she boarded the
Car the third afternoon he was ready
for her. He had every reason to be-
lieve her fraud, as she had been heard
to speak in q car coming down. When
she entered the car she took seat and
began reading, seeming to have no
earthly interest in the fare question.
There are no conductors on the route,
and the driver controls both doors. Be-
fore Brady street was reached the TN
known female was the only passenger.
She rose and rang the bell at the street,
but the driver paid not the least heed
She rang again, and he hurried up the
horse. Then she tried to pull the bell
off the car, but the man never turned
his head. The woman rushed to the
door and pushed and tugged till she
was red in the face, but not an inch
would it bulge. Rushing TO the front
door, she pounded the glass in furious
manner, and by and by the driver &C
cidentally" looked around. She ges-
tured wildly, and as he shook his head
in stupid way, she held up her card,
which said: 81 am deaf and dumb"
The driver fumbled around for two or
three minutes and brought out small
placard On which was printed:
$50 am 7"
They were then about half a mile
above Brady street, making excellent
time, and the woman's Indignation
was so great that she shook her fist at
the driver, and screamed out:
cpl have you shot for this %
He held up his card, shook his head,
and paid no further attention to her
blood curdling threats. At the turn
table, d mile and a half above Brady
street, the door slid back, and the
woman jumped into the mud. She
blessed that man from crown to sole,
and blessed all his relatives back to the
Revolution, but he did not seem to
hear her. AS he started of, she called
out:
You are q monster, villain, sneak
and thief %
He gave the lines a shake, got the
card from his pocket, and she was not
too far away to read the answer:
$50 am [ ''