The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1877-05-03
A Reporters Vengeance.


reporter and q native of sunny Italy who
kept peanut stand in that city of big
fires and keen enterprise. One day the
reporter, with the daughter of a mill
ionaire hanging on his arm, passed the
exclaimed: Hi-a, Gully, when-a you-a
pay me zose wife cents, hem?" What
happened after that the Chicago Tribune
relates as follows: The reporter went to
the Office and took an oath on the as
signment book to he avenged-to be
fearfully avenged; then he wrote little
item headed ga City Romance" in
which he stated that the marchese was
an eccentric Roman prince who had given
all his estates to the Church in penitence
for numbering his brother, who was his
rival in the affections of a beautiful
countess, and that by economy, poker
dice and speculation in suburban lots he
had accumulated fortune of nearly
$500, 900 in Chicago. Then he smiled q
tiendish smile, and induced the city edi-
tor to give it big display head, and
went on his way rejoicing. That poor
Italian never knew what ruined him.
When he got to his accustomed station
next morning there were about two hun
dred men waiting for him, to borrow
money from him on ample security at ten
per cent. month; to get him to become
partner with $3.50 in a we'll established
business that would pay $4,000 a year
If the additional capital could only be
secured; to sell him some Calumet real
estate; to sell him trotting horse that
could show 2:64 every day in the week
(price $3.50, and for various other pur-
poses. His knowledge of English was
very imperfect, and he was an excltable
man, and when the eleventh speculator
came up and asked him to lend him $15,-
600 to start an oleomargarine quarry he
blacked his eye, and in the confusion
that arose his portable stove was sacked
and the peanuts scattered to the win Is
of heaven. The police restored order,
and then he was notified that if he per-
sisted in collecting such crowds around
him and becoming public nuisance, his
license would be revoked. Then the col
lectors for various societies began to be-
siege him, and while he was driving
them away with club his last lot of
peanuts burned. Then a delegation from
the Chicago Commune visited him, and
when he refused to divide, according to
the principles of liberty, fraternity and
equality, fell upon him as traitor, and
mashed him as flat as several pancakes.
After the police surgeon had sewed on
his ear, and stitched his nose together,
the marchese started for home, wheeling
his cart, which had only half a shaft and
one wheel left, and surrounded by bevy
of anxious mothers who wanted to secure
him and his title and his $4,000 for
their daughters. Aftera while he placed
himself under the protection of the
police, and about ten o'clock the coast
was sufficiently clear for him to venture
out. When he had nearly reached home
he was sand-bagged and gone through
by highwayman, who had tracked him
all day, and who, when he only found
two nickels and a door-key on the mar
chese, sand-bagged him till he was black
and-blue and sore all over. After lying
senseless a while he managed to crawl to
his lonely hovel, and found that gang
of enterprising burglars had already
been there and torn up the floors, and
ripped up the bed, and smashed up the
furniture and dug out the chimney with
pickaxes, looking for his S300,OOO The
poor italian had merely strength enough
to crawl to the river and pitch himself in,
and as the reporter was going home
about two A. M. and saw the splintered
peanut-cart he knew that his vengeance
was complete, and, hurrying back to the
office, put little item in the "Per.
sonals " to say that the italian marchese
and millionaire, whose wealth had beer
described the day before, had purchased
palatial residence at Naples, and left
Chicago the evening before to occupy il
and spend the remnant of his days il
opulence. Such was the reporters ven
geance.