The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-04-07

! AS THE late Dr. brdlnarQ, OF fnllauel-
phia, was once walking down Chestnut
street, a gentleman asked him: "Sir,
can you tell me how to find the Sheriff's
Officer" Yes, SIR" was the reply,
"every time you earn five dollars spend
ten.
MANY fashionable women now wear
sour milk as ornaments. That is to say,
a Yankee in Mansfield, Conn, is making
a great quantity of sour milk into an i'm
itation of coral for jewelry. The fluid is
colored, run in molds and solidifed by
heat.
AUNT" Now 1 must take away the
candle, Johnny" johnny" Moo,
please, aunty" Aunty-" Why, you're
not afraid, surely. You know the angels
watch over good little boys" Johnny
" Yes, aunty; but then they can't see to
watch 'em in the dark"
HUMoR pays in this country. Itsome-
times enables man to marry rich girl.
Mark Twain pays taxes in Hartford on
$685. $50, and this is but a 1.-THE of his
wealth. Twelve years years ago he was
editing the Daily Dramatic ReUiew, in
San Francisco, mere theater programme,
at salary of twenty dollars per week.
A REMARKABLE case of inherited
| longevity is reported from Kingston, Me-,
where the last of family of twelve
brothers and sisters have Just died. The
youngest of the family died at the age
of sixty-four years, the Oldest at the age
of ninety-three years, and the average
age was eighty-three years.
IT has been remarked that children of
four or five years make an interesting
class in Sunday schools. They can in
terest, as well as be interested, as the
| following incident shows A little girl,
four years old, said to her teacher: " Our
dogs dead. l guess the angels was
scared when they saw him coming up
the walk. He's cross to strangers"
ZACHARIAH w. HAYNES, deaf mute,
who was married in August, 1874, to a
daughter of Chang Bunker, one of the
Siamese twins, is a teacher in the insti
tute for the deaf, dumb and blind at
| Raleigh, n. G. He has two children,
beth of whom can hear. Chang had
nine children, seven of whom are living;
three of them are deaf mutes.
Mrs. PATTY STANTON, of North Ston-
ington, Conn, is a bright ninety-nine
year-old woman, whose impaired eye
sight is coming back, and who is grow
ing new set of teeth. She was married
at fourteen, has an eighty-year-old
daughter, and says she would marry
again but for the fear the happy man
might seek her money more than herself.
A LECTURER, in his first season, COM
| plains that very erroneous impression
appears to prevail among the local lect-
ure committees that he is a surveyor
appointed by the Government to re-sur-
vey the town, and he must walk like
mailman all the time he is in town, in
order to get through his work in time for
his next engagement.-Bu Burlington Ha,0k
Eye.
THE subject of impressions at first sight
was talked over at the tea-table, when
the lady whose duty it was to preside
SAID she always formed an idea of per-
son at first sight and generally found it
correct. Mamma" said the Youngest
son, in shrill voice, that attracted the
attention of all present. "Well, my
dear, what is it?" asked the mother. Il
want to know what was your opinion of
me when you first saw me?"
GONE striking popularity of this-ah
this country" remarked the foreigner,
is the ah-the great amount of kiss
ing done Observation-Disclosures,
everybody kissing, kissing, kissing"
go yes, Sir" interrupted roguish
young lady, "but you must remember,
sir, that this country was discovered by
-Colum-bus" At last accounts there
were hopes of the foreigners recovery
Pittsburgh C0mmer cjGL- Gazette.
A FRENCHMAN has discovered that hui
man hair can be transplanted, and bald
headed men can become reasonably hir-
suite by the process. A man with thick
head of hair and slim purse can furnish
q bald headed man with heavy purse a
| fine toupee at comparatively small eX-
pense. The hair is carefully drawn out
and the bulb at the end of each hair is
adroitly implanted into the scalp, where
it takes root ltrequires more skill than
landscape gardening.
! A NEWSPAPER correspondent writes
from Texas: Apples cannot be grown
here, and, while cabbages and potatoes
grow luxuriantly, they will rot within
TWO weeks after being taken out of the
ground. Residents of cities dare not
allow grass to grow in the yards around
their residences for fear of furnishing
hiding places for tarantulas and cent?
pedes. And at present can say that l
have not tasted wellcooked beefsteak
since | have been in the State and more
than half the time have not had milk
enough to color coffee, to say nothing of
the utter impossibility of having any to
drink"
THE Marysville (Tenn.) Republican
tells this little anecdote without blush
"a hen was recently found in the
middle of a hay-mow in Mrs. Mont
gomery's barn which had been there six
months, without water or anything TO
eat except what the hay afforded Being
covered up when the hay was put in the
barn, the hen could not get out. Her
toe nails and beak had grown half an
inch during the time, and her size was
greatly reduced. When taken out and
placed in the open air the hen tumbled