Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1877-03-17
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.

Ode to washerwoman-$l.5O.
If YOU hear the thunder you may
be sure you are not struck by light
ming.
Even Chandler and Morton arc
now opposed to the bloody Schurz
policy.
Many good people are looking for
a postoffice or something like that to
crawl into.
The Rothchilds have five family
mansions in Paris valued at 100, 900, :
900 francs.
A good rule in using French words
isto be sure you are right and then
use English.
Fred May is to marry Miss Min lie,
daughter of the late Paran Stevens,
the millionaire.
An Iowa schoolmaster whipped the
girl he was engaged to, and she then
sued him for breach Of promise
An Irish lover remarks, "it's very
great pleasure to he alone. especially
when yer sweetheart Is wild YET"
The editor has been photographed,
says an exchange. and now we are
ready to fill orders for comic valen-
tines.
"Stewart, Astor and Vanderbilt"
mused Rocklsnd man. 81 wonder
if this cold of mine Is going to be
serious2"
The New York Graphic is pleased
to note that Hon. S. j. rilden has
been selected by President Hayes,
as Secretary of the Exterior.
A Holyoke man who had his arm
blown off by cannon last summer is
about to risk his life again in can
vassing for Mark Twain's new book.
We read of Wisconsinners. Yer
montrosities, Michiganders and New
Hampshvsters but what off "e-sepkers
most drtest are those omniverous
Ohiogges.
"Say, mister" said newsboy to a
man with n high shirt collar a few
days agn, show dp vou manage to
spit over that cpllarl D. yuu use IL
step laGder:'
NJ man should hc too sure in
speakiae # the advent OF spring. He
may wake up some morning and find
that his winter clothes have all been
made over for the boys.
The Bethlehem Times says tha,
Stroudsburg girls "chew Just like "A
man." As We never chewed a man
We knew just as much as we did be-
fore Easton Fee Press
1t is said thst glance from blue
glass eye will cure love sickness Of
long starAng. To he sure, the cura-
tive eye must be winked over by the
object of the patients affection.
The latest story Of journalistic in
dolence is that Of IA man who always
tries to snake fnt" on a fyspeck by
writing an under it, and thus save
the extra work of making dot.
tits foolishness for a man to try
and make game of boarding house
chicken by looking at il, under the
Impression that a steady gaze Of the
human eye will make any animal
quail.
One report had it that May was
shot in the Dominion, and another
that he was shot in the upper part of
Maryland. But the places ere so
far apart that there was no reason to
fear that the inflammation would
spread from one TO the other.
A poet advises: ain the quarries
should you Toll, Make your mark.
DO you delve upon the soil, Make
your mark" But instead of taking
his advice, you had better take les
sons in penmanship and learn to write
your name. 1t looks better than to
mako your "mark."
English gamckeepers place stuffed
shares In the roads and bride paths
: OF preserves, with the view of induc-
ing unwary wayfarers to knock them
over. The gamekeeper pounces on
his victim, arrest him, and in due
time obtains the half of the fine in
tficted. which the law allows him.
Poems respectfully decllned-"Ode
to Spring" (three varieties): "Chari-
ty Begins to Home" "Bulidoziup in
kochester;" "Our Little Twins" "A
'Serrinade," and "Why Do the Snow
flakes Fall2" In replv to the last we