The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1877-01-23
Sfuse and Noqse,,se,


every night-on the backs or chairs.
Never let anybody drive you to dis
traction. You may not be able to get |
back. ~ ~ },'' - ''s =
Why is man who expects kiss and |
refused like "a shipwrecked fisherman
Because he has los. his smack.
Two souls with but a shingle thought
A Maine man and his wife have embark |
ed in partnership in the shingle business
".Tve taken to the study of my heart"
said an old miser, Z. w ell" said his neph.
ew, "I never supposed you'd spend mon
ey for q microscope :" 8 ~ y
"I'm saddest when I sing," said Sun |
day evening warbler. And SOS the
whole neighborhood !" roared an unmu-
sical voice in the street. ~, ..s.--,
A Yankee grave-digger, who buried
Mr.. Button, put the following item in
the bill which he sent to Mrs. Button:
ITO making one Button-hole, five dol.
lars" .W .a4.HH ts a -lIl
A love sick girl, who had married
against her fathers wishes, came back
after the first conjngal tiff "KilI the
prodigsl," exclaimed the father, "the
calf has returned" "-'4.'.to -sasp hao2
Mr. George MEG Govern, of Richmond,
owns the first cotton bond issued by
the Confederate Government 1t, is as
fresh and crisp as on August l, 1861"
and once meant to Southern eyes S40,-
600. .''''. '2577 = / s &
A little boy was much exercised for
fear he would not know his father when
he got to heaven, but his mother eased
bis mind by saying, "All you will have
to do is to look for an angel with red
nose" .....
A man was taking aim al hawk that
was perched on tree near his chicken
coop, when his little daughter exclaim-
ed, Don't take aim, pa; let it go off by
acci lentp' "Why SOP" asked the faith
er. "Cause every gun that goes off by
accident always hits somebody" iig
A tailor of nelancnolic tempera-
ment was observed recently sitting cross
legged on the Canada shore, gazing in
tently at the Horseshoe Fall with its
black cloud of spray. A reporter stole
up unobserved aad heard him mutter,
"What place to sponge a coat!' at'
Somebody said to Robert Hall: "How
many discourses do you think, Mr.: Hall,
may minister get up each week r. An
swered Hall: "If he is deep thinker
and great condenser, he may get up one !;
| if he is an ordinary man, two but if he
is fool, sir, he will produce half a
dozen
An old lady from the interior, while
visiting the Egyptian department at the
Philadelphia Exhibition, remembering
how deceiving show-people are apt to
be, pointed to the papyrus and other an
cieut things, and sternly said to one of
the exhibitors, "See here, young man,
be them antikerties old p
Biddy: "Did yez liver see finer wake,
nicer funeral, or a purifier corpse than
Paddy's3" Honora: "Niver wanst."
Biddy: Sand do yez know Paddy was
so natural loike, had he come to life and
got out of his coffin to see himself in it,
bedad bc himself wouldn't have known
he was dead" Iaa
George Kenna, who has just returned
from an expedition to Northern Siberia,
in O recent lecture at Buffalo stated that
his party encountered weather when the
thermometer registered ,fifty-one degrees
below zero, and that one of the men
froze quicksilver in bullet. mold aud
fred the bullet through board.
The Chicago journal is autobiogra-
phical as follows: "'If were as fat
footed as you are l would not he afraid
of slipping on the sidewalk Yes was
the response, some people are fat on
one end and some ON another And
then the first chap looked thoughtful,
and went down street. y
Mistress-"Come. Bridget, how much
longer are you going to be about filling
that pepper-box?' Bridget Ca fresh i'm
portation from where they don't use
Ipepper-castors) )-"Shure, ma'am, and
it's meeself cant say how long it'll be
takin' me to git all this stuff in the thing
through the little holes in the top"
Several of the richest counties in
South Carolina have declared allegiance
10 Governor Hampton, and their deter
mination to pay taxes to his, and not
one cent to Chamberlains pseudo Coy.
ernment. AS the Democrats in South
Carolina pay nearly all the taxes, the
Chamberlain Government must, in q
short time, subside, 49,
A man named John G. Dawes lef'
Kern River, California. recently, with
1900 sheep for the North While cross
ing the alkali lands near Tulare Lake he
camped for the night, and in the morn.
: ing when he awoke he saw his sheep all
lying down but one. and ON examina.
tion found that there was but that one
alive They had all died in the night
The Japanese Government have fol
lowed the suppression of the last insur
rection by sentencing twelve leaders to
capital punishment, two hundred and
thirty four to hard labor for life, and
fourteen to forfeiture of rank and es
tate. A large number were pardoned
and one hundred and sixty.nine com
mitted hara kiri ''4
Science has its triumphs, but we be,
lieve it has meyer yet satisfactorily ac
counted for the existence OF the middle
Iaged women who attends all the dona
ton parties with present of fame
pen-wiper and eats 81 worth OF food a,
supper. and subsequently, leans oiuE
against the wall with her eyes shut anG
sings, "Nearer, my God, to Thee,"-
NorWich Bulletin. wai - 4sy.
The great railroad engineer, Georg,
Stephenson, who ran his engine at s
mile minute, said his doubt was no
how fast he could make them 60, but a
what pace 1t would be proper to STOP
He said that he could make them trave
with greater speed than any bird coult
cleave the air, and he had ascertainet
that four hundred miles an hour was tht
extreme velocity which the humau frame