The Red Cloud chief., 1877-12-06
HUMOROUS.

HUMOROUS.
Woman always wa a siren. Even the
Eve foolish virgins Of Scripture, whose
lamps went out, did their best 70
beg lie.
A farmer when asked why he didn't
take q newspaper. said. because my
father. when he died. left me a good
many newspapers and l have not read
them all through yet"
An exchange says: 1T il not good
taste Tor young men TO stay after ten
o'clock when visiting ladies'" Most
young men fail TO detect any difference
in the taste after ten O'Clock.
San Francisco has tried halliday
schools, and i. has been found that the
scholars not only learn faster, but have
more time to kill cats and stone China
men.
AT what age were you marriedY" she
asked inqusitively. But the lady was
equal to the emergency. and quietly re.
sponded. AT the parsonage"
The most stylish Black Hills gentle
men wear red flannel collars with q
big white button for a necktie." They
will doubtless add other things as the
weather gets cooler.
A traveller fond of narrating wonders,
declared he knew of a cane a mile long.
PRAY what kind Of a cane was itY'
asked a bystander. 1T was a hurri.
cane"
And now II somebody would 20 to
work and write q book about THAT
Hired Girl of Theirs" we should know
a little something about the entire fam
lily.
Master at homer" mo, sir, he's
out" Mistress homer NO, sir, she's
out" "Then Ill step in and sit by the
fire." That's out too, sir"
"You don't get any money out Of me,
sir" said he as the man presented his
bill. "I'm a savings bank-thats what
l am" And the creditor went discon-
sOlately away.
A Lock Haven women pretended to
faint away in a crowd in order to hear
the comments of the men. One of the
men yelled out, "Oh! what an enormous
foot" and the lady came to and tried to
kick him.
The following advertisement ap-
peared in an English newspaper: "A
pianOfOrte to be sold. genuine Broad
wood, by a lady about to leave England
in a rosewood cas- on mahogany cas-
tors"
A young lady, in conversing with a
gentleman, spoke of having resided in
St Louis. "Was st. Louis your native
placer" asked the gentlemen. "Well,
yes, part of the time" responded the
young lady.
A little girl who had great kindness
of heart for all the animal creation, saw
a hen preparing to gather chickens un.
der her wings, and shouted earnestly,
"Oh, don't sit down on those beautiful
little birds, you great, ugly rooster"
A Detroit boy stood an umbrella.
with a cord tied to it, in a public door.
way. Eleven persons thought that UNI
brella was theirs, and carried it with
them the length of the cord. They
then suddenly dropped it and went off
without once looking back OF stopping
to pick it up aS2in.
"HOw is it," SAID a gentleman to Sher-
idan, "that your name has not got an o
attached to it! Your family is Irish,
and no doubt illustriOus." No family
had a better right to 0 than Our family
said Sheridan, for we owe everybody"
A little girl, just able to talk, who had
often been reprOved for eating the in
side of her pie and leaving the crust,
was afflicted with a sore toe. and when
she was caught slipping her pie-crust
under her plate and called TO account
for it, she demurely said. "but papa,
my toes so sore to day l can't eat crust
Wife: swell, Jones. judging from
your breath, l can't tell whether you
have been drinking whisky or whether
you have been swimming in it." Hus-
band (reprOachfully): Hannah. don't
you-hic-lOve me me well enough to
gimme-hic-the benefit of the dOubtr'
"A Scotch witness somewhat given to
prevarication, has recently given an ex-
act and careful answer which ought to
be appreciated by lawyers of every
land. "HOw far is it between the two
farms?" said the counsel. by the road
it is two miles" Eyes, but on your
oath, how far is it as the crow hiesP"
II dinna ken; I never was a crow"
The Fall Of Kars.
The capture of Kars BY the Russ ians
is perhaps the most important victory