The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1877-07-19
WHOLE NO. 1870.


/ AoGuah
Asparagus r~sembl~. long sermons In
on" important p-r,ieular-the snds are
mo.t sooght After.
The man who keeps cool is happier
thsn the man who keeps school. thls
weather.
A veteran shopkeeper says that al
though ht. clerks are very taikative dor.
bg the day. they are slwsys ready 70
shut up Al night
Thirty d-ys impri.onm~nt IN Jail was
thought by IN lrishm.n trsaIns s~a.
tsbc-. "b~cause. ~ 10 uaa al. depth a
-ini~r. the days we're 20 sbort"
The police Of Kans.s towns hase or
der- to shoot al potato bugs found run.
ming a large without . muEHls on. This
- important " true.
TIuso's Last york. The Ara af Bslns q
Orsnd iath~r." af.Yrd. sncourAs~m~nt 70
psr-nis And y-t 10 is th~ .rt Of b~inr
'zihsr which costa. The other 10 supple
m~ntary.
An ~Hehsnse says 100000 colonels
live IN 0-orTia" This u b.ss insinos-
tion that the male population ef Georgia
over t~snty one is only 10000.
Il strikes the pamp~red eye of q luru.
rious EsstsTn Christian With ave 10 zee
far western minister plant pair Of
brass knucki-s b~tween the pages Of .
prayer book 10 keep u open.
A msn sentenced 10 b. hang wa. oasr.
I'd b.. liberty u b. would act a. Judge %
hahy sho~. lie said h- preferred .
1 Il "a
90 on with the hanging.
The freedom Of the American p~opls
fram scurv@y 10 chis iy due 90 their use
~ Vegetables They absorb 80 much
cabbage iB the shsp- Of pure Havana
cigars" that IL scts like q m-dicins.
Nobody se~m. n kaow shat ha. be-
caui~ Of Jay cook@ Tie va last s~en
~~srias hat with nearly al the brim
torn oh. anxiou. ~ make his creditors
believe be h-dn'tA cent
A teacher. sitter reading 10 her scholars
= stnry of generous child. a-ked thea
shat g.n-Fo-ity was On- little hoy
rsi-e.l hi. h.nd .nd said Il kno~. ita
iivins Ia others What you don't want
yours.'t"
Attending the funeral Of his fourth
sii-. . cockn~y f.int-d a the grave.
What shall ~ do with him r eagerly
,-k.-d = bystandrr. Leave him alone
aid asympath-'ie Dournsr; he'll sooa
rewive"
A eotsmpar.ry asks. "Ars skanks LA
hle IN go m.d = We cant answer the
Iu-- tim bat u u said that per-on who
TOO cla--ly int-rvi~~s on~ is liable 10 20
ysty much that way. indeed.
When = fond .oa start. forward In no.
he sometimes fura. round 10 car~s. his
frl~nd-. bat mul- never turns round
Hs y tho only sh.-ctionat@ On. Of he
peers who can strike out In lie both
Ssys "a once.
Large quantitie. ~ hsh hooks havs
b~~n found at Pamp~ii. and now "a 10
time ~ wonder wheth-r the stately old
Potnps snesk-d down the nii-ys on Sun.
d-y or hid the h.h poles down along
their spines.
but pss.," aid = minister one sun.
dsY. in dt-mi--ing one theme ~ hia suh.
j-ct O. take ap anoths-r. Then make
- spad--r' yelled aut = man from the
gallery. who -. dr~.ainE the happy
hours a-ay 10 an imaginary game Of
.uchre.
May"r Butler. Of Portland. Msine. can
10 ~i-~ thing In witty wsv lie re-
iu-.-d TO indor-- tho bill ~ 600 for an al
d..rmanio fed. and r-turn-d . bill
The City oi Portland. Dr. fnr loo cigars"
With the eomnsnL The City Of Port
land do~s not smoke"
tra-cihi. Old Party-sConductor. why
disint you wake me up ~ I aak~d you
li~r- am miles h~yond my station"
did try. but al ! could
get nut Of you was. 'Ali right. Maria get
the children their breakfast, aud IN be
down In . minuta'
The scientific men have essrsd oai
Iust What the human body - eompo.ed
4. bot u don't make much dif~r-ncs 70
The sveraEr man ~h~th~r the too pounds
b-aring do-a on NJ. sor. bsel u con-
po-rd ~ one thing oranotbsr. u the hurt
!. ali there.
A citizen Of LEWISTON recently carried
letter oi Introduction from q iri~ud 70
stranger. The stranger received him
srnlly Hnd showed him N the door A
title investigation sho~~d the r-anon.
The hitter -aid Treat him like trump"
'ut The stranger Rad %. Treat him Ike
tramp"
The architect who discovers . plan
shsr~hy = douhl~ hoa-s may b~ baiit 30
hst you Gao hear al that 10 said nsxt
is.or. without the people in th- adjoining
lau-~ bring Hbl~ a. hrar word uttered
% your side will have no r-.soa 70 com
'lain OF = stAgnzti0n In business.
They were sitting together and be was
'r'luuu-ly thinking uhat To- cay. wh~n
In ,lly b. burst out In this msnneri "ln
h land oi noble schi-vsm-nt and IN
iy ins glory. shy 10 u thai -om-n do not
,s,m- more To the front aud climb the
adder o. ism~Y' 4 suppo.e. s-sf .h~.
Iying knots In her h-ndk-rvhi-f. 'it's on
.ceount Of their pullb.eks'
A "aub.crib@r axis. "woald you adj
si.~ a healthy young man 70 go 10 The
Back tltlls1' IL the young man Ivss
10 a lsspulou. n~tghborhooi. and
rarnins to play the cymhals or 20
,nr,l-aa. We wauld advise him 10 stnFt
or the Black Hiii. ~ once. Such . tip
N y b. the m-.ns of saving hts hie-snd
b- lives VI some Of his ueiEh6ors.
Peter d Swssny one of the Tsmmsny
fins.t-r.. charged With Pook-tiag - 0oge
% oi the ps.p.'l-s monry OF Nsu 1otk.
- gwen hir iib.'rty by paying beck t400.-
JD The N~w Yorker Who STEALS six
,uiiliobs Of MONEY makes a rr~st mistake.
A pramis. - return t-u io~i- for The az
-Iol-n vn-s would not secure bic hbrrty.
More Mormon outraged The Utah
Of one Of the Ns~ fork
srrat daili-s ln0krd too long on satsr
aud bran'ly wh-n u wss ambrr coiofva.