The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1877-05-02
THE WHITE HOUSE.
The Temperance Cyclone and Its Eff
fects.

The Temperance Cyclone and Its Eff
fects.
THE CAPITAL.
This subject, that has so deeply agitated
the circles, triangles and squares of sWash-
ington, has, after solemn consideration on
the part of the cabinet, male and female,
regular, irregular and defective constitu-
tional and kitchen, been put finally to rest.
We are to have wine at the white house.
Our venerable and venerated Sam Ward,
who has been holding himself in state of
organized indignation meeting, adjourned
sine die and refreshed the indignant organi-
zation with some choice old wine given him
| by Bismarck in return for recipe Uncle
Samuel sent that eminent statesman for the
better mode of boiling ham.
The Hon. William Evarts, nearly exhaust
ed by the protracted struggle, retired to his
rooms at Wormley's, where, after bath of
asses milk furnished him by the great
Henri Belgian- Pot me tai Smooth bore Sanf-
WAR, he gave audience to few friends and
quite recovered his strength and spirits
over a collation. of old wines.
The jolly sea dog, late of the Wah-bosh,
fastened to his cabin in the navy depart
ment buildings, and calling in some old
moss-covered, cockle-shelled pumps, brought
out his brown jug well filled with the best
of seasoned rye, and administered the same
by word of mouth, and amid much ''shiver-
ing of timbers," blasting of eyes'' and
hitching up of pantaloons, they all rejoiced
with exceeding great joy. Nothing so dis
turbs the old jacktars, moss-covered and
cockle-shelled of the navy department as to
threaten his grog.
BY the bye we have furnished us from the
coast of the Wah-bosh the log of the Aerial
Goose, kept during perilous voyage of that
celebrated craft under the command of the
of fha 4hnr. cl~,
that we propose giving our readers at an
early day. 1t is full of thrilling adventures,
and exhibits the seaman-like ability of this
ancient mariner in way to inspire conf
dence of the deepest sort in the minds of
pensive public.
The poetic Mephistophelean secretary of
the interior hurried home after giving an
order for an unlimited supply of lager and
pretzels, and opening his piano. soothed his
weary soul with dreamy melodies from
Chopin.
John Sherman found relief and relaxation
in turning out number of poor women and
reducing the public debt to the extent of
So 37H. John took glass of ice water that
served to stimulate him to such an extent
that he said he could see distinctly resump-
ton of specie payment in 70
The postmaster general fell into the arms
of Tyner, his wicked partner, and wept. He
said, between sobs, that what with the agita-
ton of these grave state questions and the
war in Europe, he did not know what would
become of him but for his Tyner.
The attorney general, who did not lose his
leg, but did lose his head at Balls Bluff. and
is always threatened with like trouble in
moments of great excitement, followed the
example of the late paternal Taft, and. or
dering mild purgative from Thompson's
went into state of profound repose for the
space of day.
The whole question was settled from a
sanitary point of view. The secretary of war,
who drinks only water, and was considered
the right b0wer-t0 use popular phrase
which we do not understand-ot the temper
ance movement, was induced by our diplo-
matte William, of the. state department., to
call IN Doctor Verdi, half brother to n Tro-
vatore and member of the board of health
Doctor Verdi stated that the white house
was unfortunately situated in the Immedi-
ate neighborhood of the Kidwell Bottoms,
and that under the circumstances the water
of the Potomac was highly injurious, not to
say fatal, and that he would not answer for
the life of the president If such a course
were persisted in. While he deprecated the
use ofintoxicating liquors as beverage---as
a medicinal remedy they were invaluable
He would then recommend their use in a
homeopathic manner, small doses frequently
repeated. He would say further that he
had an excellent article of Condurango
bitters that, taken In conjunction with the
0dorless Excavating Company, would insure
the highest state of health to the admins
tration.
This settled it, for Verdi gave his state
ment with such learning, larding it with
such terrible words in naming the diseases
likely to be brought about by a conjunction
of Potomac water and Kidwell Bottoms, that
the ladies turned pale. Mrs. Hayes immedi-
ately telegraphed to Fremont to have a large
quantity of currant wine and raspberry
shrub, bequeathed Rutherford by his late
uncle; also, for some excellent blackberry
strip, prepared by her own fair hands, that
is a most excellent remedy-indeed, soyer-
eign cure-for disturbed digestion, such as
summer complaint, cholera morbus and
wind collie. "a aIias4,fTi +, H. ISL
1t is now arranged that at all stale dinners
given to distinguished foreigners wine, as
heretofore, is to be given; but at dinners at
tended by American citizens we are to have
currant wine, raspberry shrub and blackberry
strip. .4iur.fr.f
How beautiful il is to see the vexed ques-
tons CT state settled with such wisdom, and
our distracted country harmonized in all its
parts! $50 E a9fis.
Sidney Smith said to a friend of his-who
never agreed with anybody-as be was
about embarking for New Zealand: Good
by, my dear fellow; I hope you won't dis
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