The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-08-23
SENSE AND NONSENSE,

SENSE AND NONSENSE.
THE poor mans summer resorts
palm-leaf fan.
"DRAMuoLE" is the name of village
In Lehigh County, Pa.
The best way to kill joke is to say
that it is funny before you tell it.
RUSSIA is said to have met with heavy
loss st Machin. Pennies s-Cincinnati
Saturday Night.
A QUARTER Of ton of hay, on the end
of long -handled pitchfork, is the kind
of health-lift used by farmer.
GUILT LErrERs-Those sent to the
Treasury Department containing "con-
science money. "-Norristoson Herald.
WHAT is the difference between Lake
Superior and sailor who slips off log
Give it up! One is an uns IT. Il sea, and
the other-oh, of course you know now
an unseated salt.
| A FOUR-YEAR-0LD miss adds another b
the list of remarkable juvenile speeches.
She was asked where she expected 10 70
when her mamma died, and replied, To
the funeral, s'pose."
The New York Comvss,eial Adceysiser
tells of butcher who would not 20 into
the strike because he had too much at
steak, and it wouldn't have been meat for
him to have taken any joint action"
A Competent authority says you must
| always lie with your feet to the equator.
| We have known several excellent liars
| who have shortened their lives many years
By neglecting to observe this rule.-Bsston
IT didn't suffice for Mr.. johnson to re-
mark, at four O'Clock the other morning,
| after Stumbling upstairs TO Mrs. johnson
and bed, "Y' see, M dear, it CO couldn't
be helped. 1t was the strike. I'm one o.
the delayed males"
A BIG tree of California, when cut M,
| yielded no less than 100000 shingles.
Here is an opportunity for the statistical
iend to figure out how many thousand
square feet of surface of bad boy these
shingles would make smart.-Norrjstov
Herald
One test of great mind is its instan-
taneous suitability in an emergency.
The boy who can drop paper-bag of
eggs on the sidewalk, and pass on with
out changing his gait, interrupting his
whistle, or looking at what he has
dropped, has . future before him.
Worcester Press.
A KEEN observer, who travels q good
deal in Connecticut during the months of
March and November, noticed that the
married men wore their finger nails shorter
in the former month than they did in the
latter, and asked an old lady why it was.
She answered him: "'Cos, you see. we
allus has our carpets shuck early."-
Omaha Bee.
A POOR tailor dunning for an old debt,
q hoP %o11 g
Jim: This little account has been stand.
ing for seven years, and think it is high
time it was paid" To which Jim re.
piled on the same sheet of paper, while
Ships boy was waiting: "Dear Sam: I
don't; and may . difference of opinion
never alter friendship"
A LADY asked very silly Frenchman
how ithappened that his countrymen who
came out of their own country were, gen.
orally speaking, men of more ability than
those who remained at home. 90, mad
am" said he, 1.-THE reason is obvious.
At every outlet there are persons stationed
to examine all who pass, that for the hon.
or of the country no one be permitted to
| leave it who is not a man of understand.
ing" "Then," said she, II presume
that you were Struggled"
n6 AOlAOWluk 10 tOlu a. Tic CApCuSG VI
q well-known clergyman in Augusta, Me.
He has recently engaged in poultry-rais-
ing. In his flock is one specimen scarce
| ly larger than q bantam, that easily es.
capped between the Stats of the coop. After
much trouble he caught the offending bid.
dy, and triumphantly exclaimed: "Now
I'll fix you so you will never do that thing
again." and clipped her wings. Biddy
does not see the force of his logic, and
slips out rather more comfortably than be-
! fore.
THE New Hampshire people have not
yet heard of the divisions of labor. In
one of the rural districts of that stony
State is man who has been during the
past eight months preacher, Coroner and
store-keeper. Not being sufficiently occu-
pied by all these, he has spent his leisure
| in marrying two wives and laying the
| foundation for four suits for breach of
| promise, two of them brought by widows
! and two by old maids. He has engaged
himself also to five other women who do
not not care to bring suits.-Detroit Free
Pssss.
An engineer on the JEFF. Road got new
dress for his wife, last week, by the use of
little strategy over the strike. He was
approached by merchant of Louisville,
who had been caught away from home
and Was anxious to return. The engineer
was on his engine, and waiting permits
sion from the strikers to pull out, when
the merchant asked permission to get on
with him, so as to make the attempt to
run the blockade, and proposed to the en-
I gineer that If he would help him and sue
coed in getting him out Of the city, he
| might bring his wife to his store and get
handsome suite clothes for her. The en-.
gineer told him all right, exchanged his
| cap for the plug" of the merchant, and
took him away safe and sound. That en-.
| gineer's wife will wear one of the incest
suits to be seen on the Observation-Disclosures
OILS y0Wrnol.
"YEs, we have our trials and tribula-
tons, same as other people," answered
one ct the stall-keepers at the Central
Market when interviewed the other day.
:" I for one study human nature, but never
interfere with it. Ten minutes ago q
handsome and stylish lady got out of her
carriage over there, sailed down to my
stand, and with all the dignity of queen
she asked: Mr.. Beans, have you any
real nice hucklcberrics! replied:
Madam, have the best lot of buckle.
berries in Market aud I sold her two
quarts. Five minutes later another lady
came along and called out: Mr.. Beans,
have you any cheap whcrtleberriesy =
I replied, Madam, have the cheapest
Invertebrates in the WORLD and she took
four quarts. It's all the same to me, sir,
whether they put tho 'hucklc' or the
'whOrtlc t. 'cm-my business is to please
the public. "-Det,vit Free Pres.
"A Hazardville correspondent tells of
. novel wager recently won in that town.
A party Of men being together, one of
them proposed . bet that Peter Toombs
would whistle one hour, without stopping
or speaking, and without repeating any
tune. The proposal was made by an.
other Of the party, who reduced the time
TO half an hour. MIR. Toombs accepted
the amendment, the stakes were put up,
and Mr.. Toombs began his task. Begin.
ming with 81 Won't Go Home Till Morn.
ing" he ran through his repertoire, end.
ing with - Paddle Your Own Canoe,' in
grand style. When the half hour was