The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1877-09-06
WIT AND HUMOR.

~~A'D
A FEAST of reason-The entertainment
of an idea.
A PRUDENT man is like pin; his head
prevents him from going too far.
LITTLE things should not be despised.
The little toe is the smallest on the foot.
but it always has the largest corn.
WHAT city does q kiss resemble?
Nice. Why is kiss like a sewing ma
chine? Because it seams so good.
SAID Sunday-school teacher the 9TH
er day: "Who was Luther?" Replied
a Jersey boy: "He made Matches
WHAT is the interior of Africa prin-
cipally used for?" asked teacher of q
pupil. For purposes of exploration"
was the reply.
SEQ, MY son, and shut the shutter"
this [ heard mother utter. " Shutters
shut, " the boy did mutter. "I can't shut
it any shutter"
A WICKED man killed himself in the
lowest level Of a Nevada mine. and the
account says: "Thus his alleged soul
was saved over half mile of transporta-
tion."
WHEN a young woman makes up her
mind that hen shall not sit, and the
hen makes up her mind that she will,
the irresistible meets the immovable,
and every law of nature is broken or per-
verted.
He was making call, and they were
toII /NE >
Progress" she remarked, "always seems
to me painful. OF course you are famil-
lar with Bunyan." He said he had one
on each foot.
A DEADWOoD paper announces that
Mrs. Marquette, whose husband poisoned
himself on Monday night, married again
Tuesday morning. This is only proof
of the business-like character of the
denizens of Deadwood.
"WERE you member of the army?"
asked a traveller of a wooden-legged man.
eyes, sir, was the reply; 81 was mem
bered by recruiting officer, dismem-
bered by Russian artillerist, and re-
membered by peg-leg manufacturer.
"DooToR, my daughter seems to be
going blind, and she's just getting ready
for her wedding, too! 0, dear me, what
is to be done?' "Let her go right on
with the wedding, madam, by all means.
Ii anything can open her eyes marriage
will" ....,.
A MEMBER of an American club OBJ
jected to the publication of the list of
the meeting nights of the club, '"be-
cause" he said, eff it's published, we
married men will have to account for
the off nights" The motion to publish
was lost.
"WHY is this called Jacobs ladder ?"
asked a charming woman as he and she
were going up the steepest portion of
the Mount Washington railway. "Be-
cause" he replied, with look that en-
phasized his words, 4" there are angels
ascending and descending occasionally"
He squeezed her hand.
LANDLORD !" eyes, sir" "What's
that?" "Butter, sir. "Does it belong
to the League?" "Sr?" "Has il any
ambition to excel as a base balIist?" 81
don't grasp your meaning, sir" "Wen.
it should, for it's the best fy-catcher [
ever saw" ooh, I see John, take
this away, and bring the gentleman some
Of the muffin butter" Silence prevailed.
COWrGer-JOatr1e0t
THIS is the scientific way: eff man
falls asleep in the sitting posture with
his mouth open, his jaw drops; the
tongue not being In contact with the
hard palate, the suctorial space is obl1t-
Grated; the soft palate no longer adheres
to the roof of the tongue; and, if respir-
alton can be carried on through the
mouth, the muscular curtain begins to
And this is the popular form:
4" If a man doesn't keep his mouth shut
when asleep, he will snore.''
DURING debate which took place
some time ago in Scottish Town Coun-
Gil, on question where much diversity
of opinion prevailed, bailie, among
other reasons in support Of the measure,
stated that it would be Of immense ben
eft to posterity. On hearing this, the
Provost, who headed the opposition, got
up and said: "I'm really surprised to
near ony man bring forward sick an ar
gument. What reason haze we to sacri-
fee oursels for the guide O. posterity9
Point oot," he continued, striking the
table, and looking triumphautly at his
point DOT ae single instance
whaur posterlty has ever been O. the
least benefit to us"