Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1877-03-22
Editors MisceZZnzzu.
[oRtarNAk /
Nose and Toes.


[oRtarNAk !
Nose and Toes.
somebody objects to my assertion th
man isa't, or wasn't created perfect, Tru
1t is SAID be was pronounced perfect
out have You any reaeon to think the fiji
u man, who must have been ''perfect''
any man ever was, didn't have to blow b
nose? And if he was 90 made. how {
earth can you call him perfect? No "pe
e feet" man should or would have to bio
bis nose. 1t is all very well to claim th
a. a wonderful operation of nature-o,
of its nasty operations by which we a,
enabled to see that man is awfully (ju
sou and wonderfully made-but it's an O,
eration which upsets your theory. An
IJust think of 1t IN the light of the suege
tive fact that Adam could BY no possibi
'ty have had a handkerchief!
Again, the exudation of the ears NAV 9
physiology contentedly claims, be neces
sarV in the exclusion of bees, bugs an
flies from the tyinpanum; but why WASH
the ear SO constructed that no bugs coul
|get in, and, thus, the trouble of the manr
tacture of ''wsx" be avoided. You see
your theory won't do. You claim to-
much for Providence, and it isn't i,rev
erent to eay that Providence don t thanl
you.
Why, lshoa,d like to know, If you ar,
right, should mans toe.nail grow ou
SO persistently and punch holes in hi
socFs? And did you never notice that tn,
fewer mans socks, and the less bis cash
or credit at the store. The faster the nail,
growr I have, if you haven't; and car
show you my three pairs with ten hole.
TO the pair. Cut 'em off you say-:hat's
just it; the more you cut, the more they
grow, which establishes me and upsets
you.
You can't claim such things to be the
resal. of Adams fall, for; pll wager, his
ears were made bug-proof in the unneces.
sary way mentioned, and that if he wore
cocks hts nails were forever causing
''darning'' with both mt mbers OF the
family.
You see your idea that man was made
perfect is about as provabIe as claim
that cats have fits because they're good
for them, or they like to haye them. Do
you imagine fits give cats any elevated
idea of the dispeusation tliat forces the
fits? Wouldn't cat be just as well off
and just as wonderfully made' land
more sol if it didn't have 'em-wouldn't
it be much more "perfect?"
1t seems to me all this nose and ar
business was started just to disprove you. I
never take up handkerchief, that don u
lay it down and leave it just where 1 used
it, and never buy q new one in conse
quence that | don't wish I'd never had al
nose, or that so long as have one it had
been properly made.
Your theory hes made me dissatisfied
With myself and nature bcth-if you
hadn't claimed so much for Nature and
Providence I'D never have thought of
,rumbling, because, without your clam,
I'd never have wondered why l wasn't
made. DO you see the conncc.
ion?
Your theory is akin TO the dastardly
harge that Providence ordains 1t, when
ONE careless person, sticking his head out
f rall-car window, gets it smashed off
gainst telegrsph-pole. True, he vio- J,
ates rule of the road, but by charging <
is punishment to Providence you claim,
4 effect, that Providence is attending tol
he business Of the road, Don't you see!
'here all your theory leads you? do if
0u don't.
Reasons mtltpay to prove that mani
mt and never was "perfect'' 1t wasn't
,tended to create him 80, for if 1t had T
cen it could easily have been done. Onel
lay inherit boils (people who think as =
du do generally call them "biles"), or :
ne may come into tie world in Company
ith almost any hateful Ill; bit the sci i
IS of the purest good blood families :.
aye to have their nose wiped about thel !,
rst thing on this earth. So you niusn tts
and up here and sssert that those thingsf
refer to are the workings of the old say.
e, that the ''sins of the fathers are =
sited upon the children" No such re- :
eat as that can do you any good, my h
AN; and you might as we'll own up, TO, fp
our theory is a direct fling 10 the face of h
'e Providence you so affect to honor. =
I'm 20 Mohammedan. either 80 don't
~ charge that against me, after the! n
amer OF youf kind. For, assure you, -
am not so much fstalist that won'tf
ow my nose when needful simply be- :.
use don't admire my makeup as much .. a.
you do. I tell you. if your idea is the =, ~
rrect one, you. not /, are the person to n
rike q whack at the handkerchief manu- ~
cturc. If man was created perfect, and s, :,
n are, rs you should be fn thdt idea, g,
tis6ed with yourself-hoW dare you - -
ow your nose ct alls That's what Il =. m
ant to know, and I want you to expldnFA =
ur position. l.
To be consistent, my friend, your motto y ~
ould be: +"
''You may snort, and you may blow; i,
But NY nose shall run forever" -
W else can you do your duty by your al
cory, Nature 6hd your nost? of
VEsUvIUss. /.
I,
Rev Fred. Bell fOld his audience in the lr,