The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1877-05-25
Trials of Railway Ticket Master.

Trials of Railway Ticket Master.
invention of railways to inveigh against
the officers who conduct the running of
trains.
1t is privilege granted the travelling
public, by their American birth and the
Constitution-free speech, whether it be
just or not.
Conductors, baggage masters, freight
agents, ticket sellers, all come in for
their share of condemnation.
Every individual who patronizes
railway line has some particular griev-
ance. He is not treated cOurteously by
some one. Some one of the officials is
"hOggish," or ''snappish," or 'shOrt,"
or something equally as bad.
We are not prepared to say that be-
cause man is railway officer he is
free from the faults bestowed upon the
rest of mankind-net by any means
but we do feel like saying few words
for the much-abused class of ticket mas
ters and railway conductors.
Did ever anybody who finds fault with
a ticket master stop to consider what it
is to stand twelve hours out of twenty
four in the little cell where tickets are
dispensed, and answer questions at the
rate of a dozen a minute-Questions so
silly and irrelevant that we fear the
reader who scans this article will think
that we exaggerate, which we certainly
do not; for in our somewhat extensive
travelling experience we have heard all
these inquiries made, and a host of
others equally as inconsistent.
Early in the morning Mr.. Smith, the
ticket master on the B. and ]. Railroad,
takes his station behind the little win
dows of the Office. Very likely his head
aches, and he feels out of sorts gener-
ally, for he was disturbed last night by
his colicking baby, and his wife got up
cross to breakfast. and told him to "shut
up" when he ventured to suggest that
his beefsteak resembled the sole of an
ancient boot fried in soap-grease.
Smith comes to the office devoutly
wishing that babies, and cross wives,
and collie had never been invented, and
takes his place with his patience at q
low ebb.
Oldish lady, laden down with bundles
and baskets, enters.
"Say, mister, is this where they sell
tickets to go onto the railroad ?p
"Yes, madam"
"Got any tickets for Mowbray's cross.
ing? Amt it MOwbray's, or is it Ze.
bray's2 There's a bray to it, anyhow
And it's where Cousin Tom HodgkinE
lives. You know Tom, s'pOse ?"
Cant say l do, ma'am."
"Do tell. Why, thought everybody
knowed Tom. He mends kerridges
and things. Heern tell of him, AIM
yeW
mo, ma'am."
"Law! now, that's curis. Ishouldn't
have thought itu
"Do you want a tieket?"
"Wall, I dunno! P'raps I'd better
Less see; how far is it ?r
''To where ?"
ITO where Tom lives.n
"How in the deuce should know?"
"Why, hain't jest told ye? And yoU
needn't get mad and swear about it
either. Hain't you paid for staying
here and answering questions ?"
"Yes, civil ones"
"Wall, this is a civil one. What's
the fare 2"
"Where to ?"
ITO where Cousin Tom lives"
"What place ?"
"Why, MOwbray's Crossing"
"Fifty cents"
''Fifty cents! Land of the living
EiftX Gents t6g to 90 therei Cart you TAX
thirty-five ?"
1--WE make no reductions"
''Oh, you don't2 Well, you needn'
be so snapcious about it. pll give yol
forty cents"
~ said we make no reductions" will
emphasis.
Lords sake! Well, you needn't TAX
my head off,"
And grumblingly she produces th,
scrip, and gives way to the next conner
only 10 find that the train for Now
bray's has been gone five minutes, TO
which she gives the ticket master
thorough ''goiug over" in that he al
lowed that train to leave before she go
her ticket.
And, after she has "freed her mind,
she retires sullenly to a corner of tn
depot, where, surrounded by her uumer
Gus bags and bundles, she resigns her
self to wait four hours for the next trail
10 Mowbray's.
And it will be story to tell her grand
children and all her aequaintances, hoI
that ticket master "sassed her," an
made her miss the train.
A tall man in spectacles comes in, a.
forgetful of the fact that this is th
ladies' room.
There is a time table of the train
right before his eyes, by the side of th
Office door, but he doesn't see It. OF
no. He is an independent man, and b
knows that men are hired to stay /
ticket offices to answer questions, an