The Findlay Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Hancock County, Ohio) 1870-1881, 1877-09-21

lN one part of Wisconsin the justices
Of the peace make the groom promise
to love, honor, cherish and obey the
bride.
A sCRUPULoUs Boston lady,who abhors
slang, when asked at the boarding house
table why her husband was not down to
i breakfast, replied bashfully, ~Oh, dear
William was upon IA neck last''-
"a what?' said her interlocutor. \ b bo-
bosom" she explained, coloring to the
roots of herhair. "a which," asked he.
.A-a-a-bustl" she whispered, behind
her napkin.
+ He had been telling her about his
troubles, and how everything went
against him-rheumatism, the wicked
world, &C., when she, like the true Chi
cago girl she was, broke out: You must
be very fond of dieting upon frogs, Mr.
Paine" Frogs" inquired he, why
frogs?' "Oh, because" replied the heart
less Miss, you are such croaker," 1t
cured him.
An Irishman called on a lady and gen
tleman, in whose employ he was, for the
purpose of getting some tea and tobacco.
Il had a dream last night, Yer honor"
said he to the gentleman.
What was it, Pat?7
why, dreamed that yer honor made
me a present of a pound of tobaccy, and
her ladyship-heaven bless her-gaye
me some tay.
"Ah Pat, dreams go by contraries you
know" said the gentleman.
Faith an they may that" said Pat
$50 her ladyship is to give me the tobac-
cy an yer honor the tayl'
Many of the young ladies out taking
astronomical observations these nights
had better 90 home to their Mars.-De-
tTOH Free Press.
American travellers in the Alps this
year can crawl up to the top of their ho-
tel bills and see the new East River
bridge towers-Graphte.
Somebody defends General Howard
in the Philadelphia Bulletin, from news
paper criticism. He had better go west
and defend him from the Indians
Rochester Chronicle.
There are cases where girls lips are
so sweet as to make her lover bilious,
unless he is very discreet-Bailey's
Danbury Ners.
Brigham Youngs last words were
three calls for Joseph" Useless wall.
General Howard has been calling for
Joseph fo- nearly month and hasn't
been able to make Joseph hear him yet.
-Hawkeye.
Merilla, the grocer, tells us that the
grocery business is not what it used to
be. 1t is hundred times more excit-
ing now. He says this explaining to
every customer why the war in Europe
affects the price ofa broom, mackerel, or
a paper of corn-starch is what is sapping
away his life and covering the future
with pall.-Danbury Ne'es.
ats two bad" as the bOarder said
when he opened the second spoiled egg.
Sal. Night.
Judge Hilton says, in Gentilemanly
way, that his exclusion policy has prov
ed anything but in-Jew-rious to his re-
ceipts.-Ne wYtrk Comm mercial AdreTti
ser.
A cautious old man out on North Hill
is very fond of attending all the base ball
matches. But one day a ball from the
bat struck him between the eyes, bent
his spectacles and disarranged his ideas,
and knocked him down. Then the
catcher ran up and jumped on him and
sprang up to catch the ball, and when
he came down he kicked the old gentle
man for getting in his way and making
him miss that fly. Now, when he goes
to the games, he wears an iron pot on
his head and carries along dry goods
box to sit in HaWkeye.
She was ironing when her sister came
in with the news that an uncle was dead.
Dead she gasped, nearly dropping the
iron from her hand. Her face was very
pale, as was that of her sister, as they
both stood there looking at each other
with that awe-struck expression which
a death leaves upon the faces Of the iv-
ing. Dead she repeated, in hlter-
ing voice. Itdoesn't seem possible. 1t
is so sudden, so unexpected, so dreadful,
that can scarcely realize it. What are
YOU going to wear2'-DGHb,,ry Ne'cs.