The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-03-22

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be carried out.
A parrot is said TO live to be 200
years old. A barber does not live
so long, but he talks more.
An Irish lover remarks that IL is
great comfort to be alone "espec
tally when yer sweetheart is wild yen
Fasters are reminded OF Josh Bill.
ings' remark: III make mi break
feast on salt fish eennully max mi
uther tn meles on kold water"
Now is the time 10 subscribe fifty
cents to the poor fund and five dol
lars TO the base ball club which is
to scoop the world next spring.
PA" inquired an up town boy,
''what is sageT' "a sage, my
son." replied the father, gloomily,
"a sage is a man who never marries."
Fannie Fern said that tears were
San infants most valued water. priv
ileges." Fannie had infants herself,
and ought to have known better
than that.
did you notice how s2lendidly
l went through that last reel at the
ball last night, Tom2" Eyes, and 1
also noticed that you kept it up all
the way home"
In describing n new organ, a
country editor says: The swell
died away in delicious sutlocation,
like one singing a sweet song under
the bed.clothes."
"Isn't there an awfully strong
smell of pigs in the airY" asked
Smith OF Jones. Eyes" replied
Jones; chats because the wind is
from the sowwest."
"Gorry, ole omen" said a SILVER
ing darkey, covering over tho glow.
ing Goals on the hearth, "what de
good ole by m says is a fac, Desc
embers' as pleasant as May"
Old Mrs. Darnley is pattern Of
household economy. She has made
a pair of socks last fifteen years by
only knitting new feet to them ev-
cry winter, and new legs every sum
mer.
1t was an old but q good thing
said by French paragrapher late
ly, to the effect that he hates a girl
when she is trying to be n woman
and a womrn when she is trying to
be girl.
"Do You understand the nature
of an oath?' juryman asked in
St. LOUIS court room. cor couse
do" was the reply. Do you mis-.
take me for a member Of the electo-
raj commissionT
81 have lived for twenty-five
years, and in that period nevaw cx-
perienced isuch awful wethaw as
this" was the remark Of n dandy ms
he was assisted TO his feet from a
full length position ol u Philadel-
phia sidewalk.
"What we need is new men and
new measures" said politician TO
an old darkey. ayes, dats so Boss"
said the ancient African, "de gro
ceryman doesn't give us but bout
nine quarts to dc peck and ! go In
for new measures, you bet"
"Whnt are you in Jail forf" Psked
a prison visitor of negro in New
Orleans Jail For bor'win money,
sab" "Why they don't put men In
Jail for borrowing money" eyes,
but you see, had TO knock de man
down tree or four times afore he'd
lend it to me-"
A party of young men dined
at n restaurant in At
lantn, and each one insisted on pay
ing the bill. To decide the matter,
il was proposed TO blindfold the
waiter, and the FIRST one he caught
should pay the bill. He hasn't
caught any Of them yet.
A pretty woman is awfllly afraid
Of crossing n muddy corner n she
has on an old leaky pair OF shoes,
but Just let her be out with a pair Of
pebble goat side lace
and she will tip across as
beautifully as a pullet wPlking
around an ash-hopper In the sun
shine.
A report having obtained circula-
ton, the other evening. that n man
had just got shot in n hardware
store, n rush was made upon the
premises by the reporters, who we're
politely informed by the proprietor
that a man had actually got shot
there-two pounds-for which ho
paid the current price.
Three brothers, bearinga remark.
able resemblance 10 each other, re-
Gently went into the same BARRIERS
shop and on the same day, 10 be
in the morning, anoth
er at noon, and the third at night.
When the last one appeared, the
barber, who was a German, dropped
his razor in establishment, and ex.
claimed: "Vell, dat man hash do
fashtest beard never saw Isbaves
him dis mornio', shayes him at din
uer times, and he comes back now,
nit his beard SO long as IL never
wash"