Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-05-09
PITH AND POINT.

They make butter with q hydraulic
ram in Norwich The ram does not give
milk though.
A HORSE ought never to be hungry,
for the most of the time he has bit ia
his mouth. ~@
AMONG other suggestive designs en-.
graved on wedding rings is that Of spi
der's web with fly in it, 40 :
You can always detect a bachelor by
the way he handles baby, but to be
safe from loss it is well to use a borrowed
baby in making the experiment.
A BOY in Bennington, Vt, has swal-
lowed screw, a nail and a two-cent
piece. He evidently hopes in time to be
a hardware establishment
THE bashful man who asked his girl
if her favorite beverage wasn't Ftpop,"
was referred to her popper.-No,pach
Bulletin
IN winding up an article on the last
corn crop an Alabama editor remarked:
1--WE have on exhibition in our sanctum
magnificent pair of ears.
The name of the japanese ambassador
to Der lin is Aoki. It should not be con-
founded, however, with A-Oki-Hail.-
Worcester Press --.s at...
A CITY subscriber asks us very fun
ny question. He wishes to know at
what age tadpole turns into hop-pole
We have toad-mit that we don't know.
-Norristo,cn Herald. -..t... 'ra Fa'5t".at
A FASHIONABLE lady recently went,
into a store for a pair of gold sprinkled
stockings When she saw them, she said
they were so high priced that she would
take only one.
"DON'T you Think she inquired
amiably, !" that most men are possessed
Of devilT He said he thought they
were, particularly after they were mar
ried.-Norvich Bulletin. ~ u III ~
AN exchange remarks: s'Ihe only
jokes women like to read are those which
reflect ridicule on men" Yes On tax.
ing up pepper, woman invariable turns
to the marriage column. ua.-a7 F.. .. /
The following order was recently left
on the slate of a New Hampshire doctor.
Doe, cum up to ther hous; the old man
has got snaix in his butes agin an raisen
kahn"
/ A GOAT at Newburg recently ate up all
the stoves in front Of a warehouse, and
when the police really got at him he had
begun to eat the ladies' cabin off ferry
boat.-,2. Louis GlobeDemocrat
20 IF any one thing perplexes an honest
upright man more than another it is to
receive gift of ST. 900 or 50 by mail, and
have the doner forget to give his name.
thereby making it impossible for you to,
follow your inclinations and promptly
return the money.-No19stoacn Herald.
"WHERE do women get their queer
notions?" asks writer in a contemporary.
Well, we suppose they get them, while
and dry goods stores.-Philadeyphia Bu1-.
letan. f3 ssa..- s.a
COLONEL GILDERsLEEvE is going to-
publish book on 'sSHow to Shoot"
Then if some gifted Treasury girl will
only write supplement on ''Who can
Shoot" the world will be satisfied
Haaokeye. g1Ga Gg '=t3 @aC 90. art
A CURIOUS rule prevails in Germany,
that If person is injured on railroad
and subsequently dies from the injuries
received, the occurrence is not deemed a
railroad accident unless death occurs
within twenty-four hours. 49,
A CocKNEY, overcome by his sensibil- \
tiles tainted at the grave of his fourth
spouse. What shall we do with him 7's o
asked a perplexed friend of his. 't.Let
him alone" said a waggish bystander,,e
s" ell soon revive"
"A GENTLEMAN. entered bachelors
room, and, looking around, said: Every
snug. ~ Yes" answered the bachelor,
rather too snug. But I suppose if
had had a better half [ might had better
quarters"
THERE are two periods in every mans
life when he feels, deep down in his
heart, that if the earth was. to open and
swallow him up it would be pleasure to-
him-one is when he steals up stairs with
the old mans razor to take his first
shave; and the other is the first Sunday
in high hat Yonkers Gazette.
Now that purring tabby proves to be
equally. dangerous with, the hydropho-.
bious Spitz, people will begin to ask
from what bite fatal eonseq uences viii
not ensue. Even the bites Of Holsters,
mosquitoes and red pepper are looked
upon with suspicion. The sWeethearts
bite is peculiarly we must draw
the line somewhere. @sa"
LADY-So you wish to leave, cook
May ask why? Cook-Certainly, MIN
You see, there's one p'liceman in this
ole of a place-beggin' the parish,s
parding-and he's took up with the hup-
per 'ousemaid. Which it's no concern
of mine who takes up with who; but it's
we'll beknown as the plicemen In the
cooks perkesite.-Funny Folks.
+ A YANKEE, having patented a device
for making the tops of fences impassa-
BILE by cats, advertised as follows
Practical tests of the invention have
shown that it is discouraging to cats in o
high degree. Tom cats of exceptional
intelligence, who have long treated with
contempt such trivial obstacles as spikes
and broken glass, have retreated baffled
i1before the teaser."
A oNE-LEGGED Welsh orator named
Jones was pretty successful in bantering
IAN Irishman, when the latter asked him,
Glow did you come to lose your leg?