Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1877-04-18

A Cow TRADE.-FOr Il whoe-sOuled,
open-hearted man, give us ex-Ald. Hobbs,
but when it comes to bull-dosing new
mich cow he is not there. Some time
since he thought he would get better
COW than he then had. So he traded the
farrow COW that he owned for one that was
represented II new-milch cow, paying
quite II difference in the bargain, but the
boys whep they MIXED her could only oct
pint or n quart at II milking, and they
began rather to bother him on his trade.
saying that he had got nothing but u far,
row COW. He said that that couldn't be,
and to decide the matter he would milk
the COW the next morning himself, but he
had no better success than the boys. That
night. however, one of the boys found out
the trouble. While looking out of the
window he saw the COW milking herself.
She turned her head around and with her
mouth extracted the tactical fluid from her
own bag, The mystery being solved Mr..
II. thought he would cure her of that trick,
so he tied her in the stall with II short
halter, but 10! she managed some way to
again milk herself. Brother Hobbs was
now right up on his car. He said he
would get full mess of milk out of that
COW or he would be--be-a sinner. He
ordered Il cabnet-maker to get ont two
boards, ~ foot and half wide and three
feet long. These he strapped on each side
of her, but she managed somehow to get
one off and again INDUCED herself in her
failing. Beaten but not DISCOURAGED,
Brother II. ordered another pair of /" side
boards" this time eight feet long. These
were put on, and she was turued into the
yard, and an odd looking specimen she
was. The neighbors wanted to know il
he was afraid of the COW catching cold,
and was building shed over her. or
whether lie was simply obcying the city
ordinance that all cattle must be fenced in
He said that they could make us much fur
NIB ut his barricaded cow as they pleased
He had fixed her row so he could Get the
milk he so much desired. But nlas 70,
human hopes, that animal in some way
succeeded in breaking one of those boards
and followed it up with her usual practice
Determined not to give it up, he bull
stocks for her and fastened her head in SC
that she could not get it out. The next
morning he found her there all right, and
was so much pleased to think that he hat
mt last succeeded, that he determined tt
milk this first full mess himself. Ar
cordingly he took one-legged stool ant
sat down to business. As the milk foame,
up in the pail and the drops spattered
over his pants he congratulated himself OF
his final success, and laughed to himscl
ut the idea of the boy calling hera farrov
COW. As the milk raised in the pail, thu
smile on the ex. alderman's face broadcned
and just as he was finishing, and the hai
even full, he was so good natured that h,
forgavo the COW for all her tricks, ant
said to himself, Pretty good boss, afte
Iall, nice COW, rs gentle as--the DIP
That COW had gently raised her hind lie!
and placed it against the largest part O
Mr.. HIS. abdomen. He went one way ant
the milk the other, As soon as he coult
roll himself together and rise he soothet
her with the milk stool, at the same tim
entering into very spirited conversation
with some unseen perscn, using Bib
words in such profusion as would lead on
TO believe that ho ha d Il contract to repc
the whole of the Old Testament befor
breakfast, and had commenced on th
hard words first. The next day saw
Brother Hobbs negotiating the sale of
COW TO the butcher. lie said he could no
enjoy religion as long as he kept tha
" animal"