Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-09-12
HunlOr.

Every honeymoon has man in it.
Editing paper is ike carrying an
umbrella on windy day; everybody
thinks he could manage it better than
the one who has hold Of the handle.
The proprietor of forge, not remark
able for correctness Of language, but
who, by honest industry had realized a
comfortable independence, being called
on at social meeting for a toast, gave
Success to forgery" ~
A man shot at q cat, and brought
down his wife the first time. The most
singular part is, the wounded woman
actually believes that he aimed at the
cat. One Of the most beautiful charac-
teristlcs of a wife is the answering con-
fidence she places in the Hord of her
husband
A very young miss addressed her pa
ternal ancestor at the breakfast table on
Sunday morning, Poppy, | want a new
hat and q pair of new shoes" dispose
SO. What don't you want?" remarked
the paternal. "Well," answered the
quick witted little miss, II don't want
any cigars" .... .at2
TWAS very careless leaving the parrot
in the parlor Sunday evening, but she
never thought anything about it until
Monday morning, when he reused the
whole house by making a sinacking
noise and crying. Darling Susie, Oar
ling Susie" He kept it up all day, too,
and the old folks are much interested in
the case Rome Sentinel. 81 -,
A naturalist claims to have discovered
that crows, when in focks, have, regu-
larl y organized courts, in which they sit
around and try offenders ,sort oficrow-
bar, Sc. to speak. 4.ai
Some one is attempting to cast q stain
on the reputation Of Christopher Column
bus by circulating a story that on a GER
tain occasion he left his native land ''for
parts unknown a5t - }'5'
Three Bashi-Bazotlks, the other day,
in their wanderings, came across the
body Of a Russian soldier They deter
2n1ined to bury it, and wer 3 on the point Of
placing it in a huiriedly dug grave, when
the Russian came to his senses, and OBJ
serving their intention, remarked that
he was not dead. They looked at him
for a few seconds, when one Of them re-
marked, REALLY, you Russians are such
horrid liars that it is impossible to be-
ieve anything you say ii We found you
here dead, SO you must be buried" and
they buried him.
2 He was sitting quietly by, her side one
chilly evening last month, thinking of
something to say. Finally he remarked:
Glow sad it is! we shall have a frost to-
night, and it will kill everything green"
Thereupon the young lady extended her
hand and said in a sympathetic. tone:
"Good-bye.'' a =t@
"How much do yez AK for twinty
three-cint stamps I dunno?" inquired
Barney Drumgoole at the postoffice
wicket. Sixty cents replied the cru
pier. Don't yer make any reducshin
at all for buying thin that way?" mo"
ssSay half a dollar, now?',- I can't make
any reduction" "Ill give yea tifty-five
cints. . IF We don't want to buy stamps
at the regular. price, go away and make
room forother people,, sai1ithe official
sayagely. "'WeH, We needn't. get mad
over it," said Barney, as he handed over
the money. Sure, it's mighty stiff and
stuck-up like them posht-office people
are! Faix, now. av some av the people
as have money wud sthart an opposi-
ton posht-efice an be more aecommo-
datin, they'd take the heft av the bust
ness away from them, SO they wud.'