Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1877-01-10
VARIETY AND HUMOR.

-.
sometimes found in good-loolxing
frames.
1t IS only question of time when
the person with too much talk GETS
nlired in his own CAB.
The art of living easily as to
money is to pitch your scale of living
one degree below your means. -Henrg
Taylor.
If You are going to educate your
son for the life insurance business, YOU
must instil in hisImind that modesty is
not the best policy.
=" Waiter" he yelled, with an awful roar
ms napkn, I'm sure, has beon used be-
fore"
by four, sir. no, did the waiter say
You're only the third that's used II TO dav.
-EHsabeta " ID Joaraai.
1t may be counted as one of the
curious things of life that people who
need presents most get the least, and
those who need them least get the
most.
Prosperity shines on different per-
sons much in the same way that the
sun shines on different objects; some
1t hardens like mud, while others it
softens like wax.
"A particular want of good sense in
many sensible people consists in their
not knowing how to interpret what
another says when he has not said it
exactly as he ought.
Between starting out to find the
North Pole or going to a lunatic asy-
lum, the man who selects the latter
route Will have more friends and keep
his feet warmer. Detroit Free Press.
Reaching home at late hour and
perceiving there was medicine about,
he inquired what it meant. 1T
means,' she said, sternly, "that |
ought to have camphor YOU an hour
ago"
"A man who jumped overheard re-
Gently to save his wife from drowning
has explained his action satisfactorily
to his friends. He said she had a
good deal of jewelry on her person
and gold was high. --Chicngo Times.
The paragraphist of the future
will write such items as this: "A
strong wind came through Il window
stii,i pN'litl MI W ttltI - tIElIld-
tory jar yesterday forenoon, and her
husbands umings were swept away
III twlnkling.'
-IIair-dye has invaded the stables
in France. A prominent member OF
Partisan society drives daily in the
Bots de Boulogne pair OF horses
which have changed their original
xphifp for brilliant mao tn In tbn
spring they are to be dyed cardinal
red. to ,uatch the owners outfit.
I'm the outskirts of the city Of
Sacramento passing wild geese fire.
quently alight and mix and feed with
the tame tlocks. When so engaged
they, too, are quite tame, taking little
more notice of an approaching man
than the Others do. From these facts,
good shots are often obtained as they
finally rise.
"A young man who was paying his
addresses to two young ladies during
the summer concluded to coniine his
visits to one this winter, but found
much difficulty in deciding which one
to discard. Having an eye to comfort,
ht mainly itSpiNtu W NlSib tilt one
whose father had put in the largest
stock of coal. -Norristoton Herald.
The passengers on the Harlem
Railroad have adopted method OF
checkmating the scheme Of the mana
gers to crowd all they possibly can
into the forward cars Of train by
keeping the rear car locked until the
lnct anI 1a,,,,,,, IL I.li,I 20
they can. The passengers kick the car
door open and let themselves in, to
the great grief of the conductor, but
to their own immense satisfaction.
Its no use talking" she yelled;
ga mans man the world over. You
could go o ut and parade yourself all
around town half the night, with a
kerosene lamp on your shoulder, while
/ was sitting here stark alone, and
now, if | ask you to get bucket of
Goals or a pail of water, you begin
to MARBLE about how tired you are.
o you and she grabbed the pail and
gave the door slam behind her, and
he remarked: "Well. its no use, you
can't please woman anyhow. y
Yonkers Gazette.
"A special training is required for
the millinery trade, as well-meaning
but credulous old gentleman in Fir-
ginia City, New, is now willing to ac.
knowledge, according to the Gold Hill
NelDs. A miliner who was uneXpect-
edly summoned TO San Francisco,
begged her landlord TO take charge OF
her shop during her absence. She did
not have time tc give him schedule
of prices, and her absence was pro-
longed to ten days. The old fellow was
of a confiding nature, and whenever
the ladies came in to purchase feather
or hat, he sold the goods at their own
valuation. Never was there a livelier