West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1877-10-27
She Wanted Two.

There is no reason why the inventor of
remedy TO cure the worst case of ca
tarrh inside of five minutes shouldn't
feel il his duty To place bottle of the
same IN every persons hand" price
twenty-five cents; no cure no paw"
Therefore, the long-leggcd chap who
pulled door-bell on John X. Street YES
terday had none of that timidity i'm his
bearing which characterizes rag-buyers,
lightning-rod men and solicitors for the
fire Sufferers. He had good thing and
he knew II, and he wanted other folks To
know il. When the door opened and a
hard-featured woman about forty years
of age confronted him he pleasantly
went To business and asked:
Madam, is your husband ever trou.
bled with the catarrh ~
Can a man who has been dead seven
years be troubled with the catarrh % She
grimly replied.
But the children are liable Ia be at
tackled at any hour this season." he re-
marked.
Who's children?"
Yours, madam"
never had any, sirl What brought
you here, anyway? Why do you come
asking these questionsT'
Madam, have compounded aremedy
for the catarrh. Ii is a good thing.
I'll warrant il To knock any case of
catarrh high sky in less than five
minutes"
Well, sir, what is all this To meg'
Why, madam why" he stam-
mered.
Do look ms if | needed any catarrh
remedies| she demanded, rs she stepped
out on the platform.
Madam, would not for the world
have you think that thought you had
the catarrh, but suppose the fair and
lovely can be attacked rs well as the
strong and rave"
And what have l got to do with all
that rigmarole? Who are YOU, sir, and
what do you want?'
Madam" he whispered, backing
down one step, 81 have compounded n
remedy for the cltarrh."
Who's catarrh, sir?'
Madam, am selling my catarrh-"
Where is your catarrh-where is il ?"
she interrupted.
He got down on the second step and
softly began:
Madam, have a sure cure for the ca
tarrh, and / am selling lots of it.p
Well, what do care Must you ring
my door-bell TO tell me that you are self
ing lots of catarrh medicinep
lie got down on the walk, clear of
the steps, and he tried hard TO look
beautifully around the mouth as he ex-
planned:
Madam, didn't / ask you il your
husband was ever troubled with ca
tarrh ?"
Yes, sir, and didn't / reply that he
was dead Do you want to see his grave,
sirT
"No, madam, do not. am sorry
he's dead, but my catarrh remedy can't
help him any. Goodbye, madam"
Here, sir, hold on a minute y, she
called, "what was your business with
meT'
Why, have remedy for the ca
tarrh."
so you said before"
81 asked you If you didn't want to
purchase and"
You are a falsifier, sir-you never
asked me to purchase ~
DO - you - want "a - bottle ?" he
slowly asked.
Yes, sir-give me two OF them
here's your money Next time you
want to sell your catarrh remedy don't
begin to talk around about the discov-
cry of America by Columbus. Here
you've bothered me fifteen minutes and
put all my work behind, and it's good
for you that didn't bring the broom to
the doorW
He retreated backwards through the
gate, his lefteye squinted up, his mouth
open. He shut the gate, leaned over it
and looked long at the front door. BY
and by he said:
Darn EN-! You can never tell where
to find 'emw