Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1877-01-19
In Creme Des chroniques.
WHAT TIE WITS OF PARIS FIND TO SAY IN
THEIR PAPERS.

From the New York World.
In the presence of great natural spectaeles
woman can only feel enthusiasm the vertigo
of the mind !; they think they have found
their wing when they have only lost feet.
On the first night of the new piece pretty
young actress advances to the front OF the
stage. Haunting in an exquisite new cos
tune.
"Ihat must have cost 5000 francs ~ said
audibly lady who sat with her husband in
the front row.
No. no; only $780, he said msohani-
cslly. Then he found her eye hxed Oh him
and was silent.
The JudGe-Prisoner, how came it that
you allowed yourself to be led away, you. a
good son and industrious workman, to
commit q highway robbery in company
with a scoundrel as depraved a. your
sociate?
Prisoner-Ah, Your Honor, i should have
preferred an honest companion, bat it was
HObson's choice
An old bachelor, immensely rich and danger
ously i'll, sends for his notary to make his
will, leaving all his fortune to an acquain-
lance not relative.
What - says the notary, ''yOu bequeath
it all to hin-leaye it out OF the family when
you have a relative living, a nephew"--
Yes grumbled the uncle, "a nice
nephew he Is: spendthriit, n begger, a
scapegrace that haven't laid eyes on Tor
ten years, that don't wan. to see for
hundred"
But says the notary, In those ten
years he has changed ; he has grown steady
he is famous: he is one of our foremost
artists he IS rich. y
"Rich p
YES, rich he dosont want your legacy
He has more properly OF his own than he
knows what t. - with
THAT is ferent. make him my uni
yersal legstee."
On board an omnibus.
The driver. severely. TO passenger who
is smoking: ''lf you want to smoke In
this bus you must put out your cigar or
else go outside"
A met by the lamentei Choquart, duel
list:
They were speaking of some one not
present, for whom he did not appear to en-
terrain much affection.
UNLESS | am seriously mistaken, says
Choquart I'm have to pull his nose some of
these fine days"
But what ior?''
What for? What for? III kn,S what
for Id 90 and do it now" .
An American is telling of some of tie
mammoth nass-meetings OF hi country 10
which sometimes 1000 people aro assem-
bed
What is possible With your people OF
with US" says Frenehman
"Ah, yes. saws the American. Il IN
d5rstand your Government would not let
81 many people assemble tor fear of popular
disorder. With you the Government is
always the opposition, eh
(Which do you prefer a girl or wo-
man.
That depends. like girl bslore she
gets wOmanish and a woman before she be-
comes girlish.'
They met old n. venerable lldy-killer,
who will never allow himself to grow old ;
he was radiant Win delight.
Fancy, he ehuckleS, Clancy that had
just dropped in at Mme. ~, charming
little creature, with a brutal husband, WHO'S
mortslly jealous of me, and-ha ha I-hc
came home, and-he , he she hid mo ina
closet 81 small eoG!d hardly turn round.
and was IN 1t three hours, and the has
band yuwIng bod have divorce Three
hours, and he Wild Glorious, glorious -
My SON." saiI Mr.. ", kindly. to his
youthful heir, "aceu>tOm yourself to be
polite 10 the porter. the servant girl, the
10 ali the servants; thus You
viii come IN time t, be courteous 10 all
people, even to your parents"
Discussing Young lady who i, nice but
naughty;
And yet il 80 infatuated with her
that he openly declares the marriage
will take place
Impossible She's far to sensible to
marry man who Is such an To be will
Ing To he her husband
The bore OF bores is the man who insists
IN walking with you in the street and re-
iailins his private affairs at the top OF hi-
TOIce, a. thus
Yes, said to him. said |. You are
.eoundrel, do you hear You have robbed
ne. william that You are
Naturally enough. every one whom YOU
meet fineleS that these words are applied
10 you. ard irnm Your supposed tame re-
'eptinn Of Ghe in-aits, you lose in puhli.
,stimatan- The proper way is to enter
With spirits mo his affairs and saw, sti
oudy
That WY very gaod-very good but if
bad been IN your place, | should have
gone stll further and said You miserable
Nheip how dare ynu address Elc TINS?
Jet out ot here One word more, and
introduce the toe Of my boot to the tail of
our coat w.
The passers see yOur face red with honest
Indignation, and are convened of your
outrage