The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1877-04-13
A PAIR OF APRIL FOOLS

Mr.. Softheart had always been a 70
i.anantic young NUN, fresa thssss - I
/ years at which 1t was possible for him tC
claim the title of man; and he was 10
mantle still, now that the title young
was only accorded to him because Ofbl'
bachelorhood.
Mr.. Softheart had never desired to DC
a bachelor He admired the other sex
too much; but, although he had been IN
love with four blondes, three sbrunettes,
and five young ladies who were Heither
one nor the other, he had never been
able to pop the question point blank, but
( delicately intimated it in such a way
that his meaning would have been a rid
die to the Sphynx, and was naturally
enough never successful.
+ Now, at forty, and growing extremely
stout, he was as romantic as ever, and,
moreover, he was desperately in love
with a new idoI-a young lady who
smiled when he appeared, gave him ssft
glanees, called his bouquets " lovely" and
preserved them in water.
The fact is, Mr.. Softheart was very
well of, and not i'll locking, and that
Miss Belinda had made up her mind to
accept his hand whenever it was Offered,
despite the persistent attentions of young
Mr.. Spooney, who, though by no means
i'll looking, and just six and twenty, was
only a government clerk, and by no
means as eligible match in consequence.
For six months Belinda Bellows had
been waiting for Mr.. Softheart to pro
pose, and every day more certain that he
positively intended to place his mansion
and bank account at her disposal.
But, though Mrs. Bellows vas kind
enough to allow the cook to summo,
her to consultations when Mr.. SoftheaH
called, and so leave the pair alone te
gether; and although Belinda's sistet
Miss Angelina, was equally considerats
and invariably remembered that soma
thing she wanted very particularly wS
up stairs, when her mother went to speak
to the cook, poor Mr.. S0dheart never
could bring himself to the point of say
ing, VIII you marry me?" 1t would,
he argued, confuse the young lady and
himself; and if she should say no, where
AS the floor never opened on such awful
occasions to receive rejected lovers
where should he hide himself?
"Pll do it Ey letter" he said to him
self, after long consideration. Women
so far, have misunderstood me. I'll do
it in black and white now-say, VIII
you marry me?' in so many words, and
decide my fate"
And, SO on the last day of March, Mr..
Softheart wrote, on pink-tinted paper,
perfumed with RimmePs scent and edged
with gold, an offer of his hand and heart,
as plainly to be understood as a bill from
ones baker and feeling that he had done
a safe, though coarse thing, he enveloped,
sealed it, and put it in his pocket, before
he made his evening call on his beloved
Belinda.
Now it SO happened that that very
evening Belinda herself had come to a
resolution. Her twenty-fifth birthday
was approaching, and she could not afford
to waste time"
When Mr.. Softheart reached the house
of the Bellows, he found the field quite
clear. Miss Belinda had artfully con-
trived that it should be so. That per
fidious young person had actually pur-
chased tickets for concert; requested
young Spooney, who was half mad with
joy at the idea, to accompany Angelina
and herself; and on the evening in ques-
tion was smitten with terrible attack
of neuralgia. Reclining in a chair, a
lace 'kerchief held to her cheek, she re-
gretted her inability to go; but, after
all, Mr.. Spooney should not have his
trouble for nothing-mamma and Ange-
lima would go. She had rather be alone,
she was so cross and nervous. They really
must go. And, knowing very well why,
the ladies acquiesced, and what could
Spooney do? AS a gentleman, clearly
nothing but regret Miss Belinda's illness,
and be delighted with the society of the
mamma of fifty and the sister of fifteen.
Yet wretched man was Mr.. Spooney
that night; and both his companions. on
their return, ,pronouncedh him stupid"
Ten minutes after the departure6f the
trio, Miss Belinda, arrayed in blue silk
with flowers in her hair, was playing at
such a rate on the piano that it seemed
quite certain that the demon neuralgia
must have vanished. She did not even
hear Mr.. Softheart's knock, and started
in sweet confusion on his appearance.
" Pm all alone" she said. Mamma
and Lima won't be home till eleven
o'clock. Pm afraid you'll find it verv
stupid"
But Mr.. Softheart was not afraid Of
that; and the two talked together in
low voices, sitting very close to each
other on twin chairs. Mr. SoftheaIt
looked and sighed and uttered romantic
but he did not pop the ques-
ton. Miss Belinda did all that mod
est young lady could TO further this OBJ
iect, but in vain.
She did not know-how could she p
that at the dosr Mr.. Softheart had said
to Biddy, the housemaid Look here
girl, put this in Miss Belin Has roo,,
where she will be sure to see it - and
that he had presented her with the bill
et containing his proposal crowned bv
4 five shilling piece.
How should she guess that even at
hat moment the offer Mr.. Softheart
could not make in words was in her
work basket? At all events she did not.