St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1877-01-19
Squibs.

One of the products of the cold wealth
er is known as the "CrOnin nOse." 1t
is more fashionable now than the cardi-
nal nose.
After-Dinner OratOr-"It's in the
wonerful insight inter 'uman nature that
Dickens gets the pull over ThackeIy
but, ON t'Other hand, it's in the brilliant
shafts o. satire, together with keen
sense o. humOr, that Dickery gets the
pull over Thackens. It's just this:
Thickery is the humorist and Dackens
is the satirist. But, after all, it's 'bsurd
to instOOt any comparison between
Dackery and Thinkensn So none was
"instooted. ."-London Judy.
The Rev. Joseph Cook rather un-
necessarily asks, "What becomes of the
wicked 2" Mr.. Cook, we thought, had
been in New England long enough to
know that usually they practice law for
awhile and eventually go to the Legis-
lature.-Noa7cich Bulletin.
They have singular name for onions
up in BroOktield. A short time ago a
young lady from the city, who was Wis
iting that neighborhood, made a most
favorable impression upon a thriving
young farmer. One day lie took her
out riding, and did his lest TO make
himself agreeable. On the way he took
occasion to pass his place, and to point
it out to her as his own. On another
road they drove by quarter acre of
ripened onions. He directed her at
tention to the vegetables. ~ own all
that stink timber, too," he explained,
with quiet pride. She was deeply i'm
pressed. d.-Danbu4y Ne,rs.
AN HONEST CoNDUCToR.-A conduc-
tor on an Eastern railroad was ap-
preached by seedy-loOking individual
who wanted free ride, as he didn't
have any money.
"All right" said the conductor, ego
forward into the smoking car and I'll
fix you all right"
Soon afterward the conductor ap-
peared in the smoking car to collect fare
from the passengers. He took up fare
from everybody except the dead-beat
and another man. who happened to be
the Superintendent of the road. The
Superintendent noticed that he had
overlooked this man, and asked him
why he had done so.
"Why, that's conductor" was the
reply.
"His appearance does not indicate it.
Look at those Clothes" said the Su-
perintendent.
"Well," said the conductor, s'he can't
help that. He's a conductor on West
ern road, and he's one of those fellows
who are trying to live within their sal
cries, and that's what he has come to-"
This was satisfactory to the Superin-
tendent, and the man obtained his ride
without further inquiry.
This is COlorado's best cat story A
cat had alternately lived in three fami-
lies in a neighbOrhOod. She had four
kittens, and, as soon as they were able
to take care of themselves, she carried
one to each of her former residences
and left it, retaining two with herself.
She desired, it seems, to secure good
homes for her progeny.
Gilby, London wine merchant, whose
beverages enjoyed the distinction of
being abused in Rhoda BroughtOn's last
novel, on account of which he obliged
her to omit several pages from the first
edition, has been craftily defied by
Christy's Minstrels. One of their num-
Der sang
Ten little niggers drinking sherry wine
One drank"
(Here another held up placard with
the single word ''Gilby's" on it, and the
singer went On)
'and then there nine"
Gilby was furious, but his lawyers
told him he could do nothing, for neith-
of the minstrels had uttered complete
libel.
'WIlliam,' observed fond Danbury
father to his hopeful son, "the prospect
of war with Spain is no longer immi-
nent, so | guess you had better step out
iuto the yard and finish saving wood.m
The grateful William stepped out.