The Morning herald., 1877-11-08

Russians ssy, '.Scratch an Englishman and
you And . Turk. Ida 5ae
y The editor Of the Franklin Ky. }: Rat;o,
SAYS that when he started for the den-
lists the other day, he took tooth-hurty
gait. o' T, ,s 81
Puck says that The women who be-
Eeve they arc entitled TO all the side
walk must dodge little for q paint
pot .~' as9.71|
No Robbery.-A bachelor editor, who
had pretty unmarried sister, lately wrote
10 one similarly oumstanced, "Please ex-
change" w. eg'' r
The United States can 'spoint with pride"
70 the fact that In the last four years, with
In their borders, 8, 1920, 900 bushels Of pea
nuts were harvested. t#i
Any tinsmith win tell you that two joints
Of six-inch stove pipe Of exactly the same
size must and can and shall fit into. each
other without the least trouble.
II have lost my appetite" said . gigantic
friend to Snodgrass the other day II
hope" replied Snodgrsss, ''that no poor
q man has found It, for it would ruin him in
aweek.
=. Il d the oyster dealers who start these
little paragraphs about Mrs. So and So find
f, Ing $500 pearl in an oyster, One
can. hardly help buying four cans at
g on'e. ~ l.. .'s .y.s'
81 An exchange says: Don't tell Q mar
ried man any joke on the boys, for he'll
tall his wife, his wife will tell her sister,
and the sister viii tell all the rest Of the
sirlA"
Tho county will breathe easier when it
learns that the $1,000 greenback Of 1863
il all right There are no counterfeits as
reported, and there should be no hesitation
about taking them in change.
Santa Barbara, California, is the proud
possessor Of q little bunch of grapes weigh.
ing 1875 pound. 1t is three feet long and
six in circumference. These grapes most
likely are sour.
,"Oh, that piano, next door!" A new
police regulation at Weimar, Germany,
prohibits the opening Of windows during
pianoforte practicing under penalty of two
marks. Happy Weimarl
A missing Kentucky Juror was found by
the Sheriff ten miles away, cutting tobacco.
He said he thought he would save his crop
from the threatened frost, and let them put
some other fellow in his place.
Down here, in summer time, we take
life easy" says Texas paper; and then,
as if to confirm the statement, there ap
pears in the next column an account
Of Three men killed at Camp Meet
ing" ,..v,-~4.,: "s'
A, gentleman observing servant girl
who was left-handed, placing .the knives
and forks on the dinner table in the same
, awkward position, remarked to her that she
was laying them left-handed. ''Oh
Indade :" said she, $50 have. Be pleased
sir, to help me turn the table round!"
Waiter-"What would you be pleased II
order, sir? We have potage printanier
Ia Juienne; fricandeau de veau ave
coouettes des pommes de terre rissoles de
bout" MileGan - "Wel, give US
plateful Of whichever Of them's nearest +
an Irish stew!"
4 Rhode Island Judge has decided tha
pigeons are not animals, and therefore tn
6ociety for the Prevention, etc., has n
right to protect them. The pigeons don
seems to be much alarmed over the decision
because only few birds can be crowde
into Rhode Island at one time anyhow.
II want i've cents worth of starch" sai
little girl to . grocer's clerk. The cler
asked: "What do you want five cent
worth Of starch for?" "Why, for f1
cents, of COURSE" she answered, and til
clerk concluded to attend to his ow
business. q EfT lras
Maine husbands come trick on talkati,
wives. A man tells his wife that he. is 6
:, ing. to Ausanguustansogowmongotonl
fishing. He then requests all his friends
call st his house and inquire his wheresb bout
When he returns, the poor woman is Q
hausted and doesn't speak again for
month.
Within few miles Of the unfortuna
town Of Evansville, Ind, are three-legg
dog, pet hog with no eyes, man who
about 70 marry his daughter.in-law's sist'
two other men who have welded each othe
daughters, young man who has espous
the mother of his deceased wife and seve
vasiations of Enoch Arden type.
When political opponent of T.
Marshall's attempted to win the sympath
Of the crowd by boasting that his fail
was 9 cooper, Tom at once admitted
fact and pointing at his antagonist, Ba