Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1877-01-12

LARGE HEARTED VIEW OF HIN TAKEN 3r PRO
FEssoR BANGS.
From the Phladslphia Bulletin
81 don't take the same view of the North
American Indian that most people do. said
Professor Bangs, in a discussion down at the
grocery store in suburban town, the other
night. Now, some think that the red man
displays a want of good taste in declining to
wash himself but | don't. What is dirt .?
1t is simply-matter-th same kind oi mat
ter that exists everywhere. The earth IL
made of dirt !; the things We eat are dirt,
and they grow in the dirt and when we die
and are buried, We return again to the dirt
from which We were made. Science says
that all dirt is clean. The savage Indian
knows this; his original mind grasps this
idea he has his eagle eye on science and
he has no soap. Dirt is warm. A layer
one-sixteenth of an inch thick on man is
said by Professor Huxley to be as comforta-
BILE as fifty dollar suit of clothes. Why,
then, should the child of the forest undress
himself once week by scraping this of,
and expose himself to the rude blasts of win
ter? lie has too much sense. His head is
too level to let him take square wash more
than once in every two hundred years, and
even then he don't rub hard.
" And then in regard to his practice of
eating dogs; why shouldn't man eat
dog? A dog sometimes eats man, and
turn about is fair play. A well digested
dog slowed away on the inside of Choctaw
squaw, does more to advance civilization and
the Christian religion than dog that barks
all night in back yard. and makes people
get up out of bed and swear, don't it? And
nothing is more nutritious than dog. Pro-
fessor Huxley says that one pound OF dogs
hind leg, nourishes the vital forces more
than wagon load of bread and corned beef.
1t contains more phosphorus and carbon.
When dogs are alive they agree with men,
and there is no reason why they shouldn't
when they are dead. This nation will enter
upon glorious destiny when it stops raising
corn and potatoes, and deyotes itself more to
growing crops Of puppies.
- Now many ignorant people consider
scalping inhuman. | don't. | look upon it
as one of the most benefcent processes ever
introduced for the amelioration of the suf
ferings of the human race. What is hair
1t is an excresence. If it grows it costs
man great deal Of money and trouble to
keep it cut Ii it falls out the man becomes
bald. and the flies bother MIN. What does
the Indian do in this emergency? With
characteristic sagacity he lifts out the whole
scalp, and ends the annoyance and expense.
And then, look at the saving from other
sources. Professor Huxley estimates that
1000 pounds Of the food that man oats in
year 90 to Iourish his hair. Remove that
hair and you save that much food. If had
my way, would have every baby scalped
when it is yaccinated, az measure of politi
cal economy That would be statesmanship.
have notion to organize political party
on the basis of baby-scalpipg, and to 70 on
the stump to advocate it. If people had
any sense might run into the Presidency
as baby-scalper.
" And as for the matter Of the Indians
wearing rings through their noses, don't
see why people complain of that. Look at
the advantage it gives man when he wants
to hold on to anything. If hurricane
strikes an Indian all he does is to hook his
nose-ring over twig Of a tree, and there he
is fast and sound. And it gives him some
thing to rest his pipe on when ho smokes,
while in the case OF = man with pug, the
ring helps to jam his proboscis down, and to
make it a Roman nose. But | look ut him
from 4 sanitary point Of view. The Indian
suffers from catarrh. Now what will cure
that disease? ? Metal in the nose in which
electricity can be collected. Professor Hux-
ley says that the electricity in a metal ring
two inches in diameter will cure more ca
tarrh than all the medicines between here
and Kansas. The child of nature with won
derful instinct has perceived this, and he
teaches us lesson. When We. with our
higher civilization. begin to throw away
tnger-rings and earrings und to wear rings
in our noses we will be a harder race. am
going to direct the attention OF Congress to
the matter.
Then take the objections that are urged
to the Indian practice of driving stake
through man and building a bonfire on his
stomach What il their iIes? They want