The daily intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Territory [i.e. Wash.]) 1876-1881, 1877-06-12
The Man who Winked.

One Sunday. recently. a man named
Barclay, living in Wilmin gton, was
over in cur town, and he went ia the
morning IN attend the Presbyterian
church. Mr.. Barclay had a nervous
affection Of his right eyelid, which
causes it TO drop down over his eye and
to twitch with q convul.ive motion.
he sat of III one os til. side pews, with
the indisposed eye toward old Mrs
Gumney. a widow lady of irascible
temper and demorssra,ive disposition
During the sermon. while Barclays
afflicted eye was twi.ching away in a
most furious manner. Mrs Gummey
happened to look At him. She Instant
ly formed the opinion that that impu.
den. man in the side pew was making q
demonstration with his eye for her ben.
possibly-to express Q suddenly
conceived admiration for her. As Mr..
Barclay continued. her anger increased.
until. at last, after trowning at him and
glaring at him through her spectacles.
she could contain herself no longer, and
she clenched her fist and shook it at
him threateningly Then Barclay
winked at her more rapidly. and she
shook her fist in q more decidedly hos
tile manner.
Barclay apparently treated her men,
ace with contempt. Mrs. Gummey
fairly boiled over with rage. and as
Barclay kept on winking, she seized her
umbrella, aud standing up in the pew,
bran, ished it towards him in . manner
which indicated her intention 10 move
on the enemy's works st the first favor
able opportunity.
Barclay couldn't imagine what that
absurd old woman meant, and as her
extraordinary conduct apparently di-
rected the attention Of the entire con-
gregation to him, be became more ner-
vous than ever. and his dilspidated eye
began to run of fifty or sixty winks a
minute.
Pretty soon the sermon closed. and
during tn. final prayers persons in the
vicinity saw Mrs. Gummey tighten up
her bonnet str ipgs. take OF her gloves,
aud grasp her umbrella firmly in her
hands As soon ss the religious exer-
cises ended. Mrs. Gummey emerged
from her pew door in wars magnifi-
Gently stern array, and with a thirst
for vengeance filing her soul.
Barclay had just gotten out into the
aisle when she reached him. Selling
him 10y the collar, she lifted her UNI
brela and smote him vigorously there
with several times, accompanying her
actions with such remarks a. these;
"l'll teach you to wink at me, you
poor. miserable wasabone! Interrupt.
in the service by insultin' lone wild
der woman like me I'll ksmmence to
hammer you with this umbrella Take
that. and that, and that, you vile, in
decent willin, aud after this you keep
your eyes to yourself instead Of wink
in them at widders who's tryin' to
lissen to sermons. and who don't want
no impudencs from any low truck set
tin in side pews with bald heads and
no sense"
Mrs Gummey laid on vigorously un-
til Barclay, recovering from mis- aston
ishment, grasped her unbreila and
handed her over to the sexton, who be-
gun To run her toward the door. She
fought every iuch of the ground. and
once, when she succeeded in breaking
loose. she started b,ck on the run for
Barclay. Eut they got her cut at last.
and as she pushed through the dor.
she looked back. and giving the um-
brella one final flourish, she shouted to
Barclay;
"You commence agin and wink at me
you disgustin' wagabone. aud I'll cali
the p'leece and put YOU where you
can't give impudence to your better.;
now mind me, you vile libertine.
you
Then she left; and Barclay, with
his crippled eye winking like fury, told
the sexton that hereafter when he came
10 church he wonld like TO take back
seat.