Richland beacon., 1877-07-28
Il LITTLE SPICE.

inform the reader that all ttIat are not credited
are copied from the Detroit Free Press, and
supposed to be original:
Ferik Aid now commands the Turkish
army. That il, he tells the boys when 10
retreat.
The new torpedo is called the Say torpedo.
1t will say to the enemy vessels "Get out
o here"
John Owens illness was brought on by ex-
citemeu over dog fight. He owned one OF
the dogs.
The Rochester Chronicle tells Ben Wade
that he has lived long enough for good obit-
nary notice.
| Blackberries are only four cents quart in
Kentucky, and the girls Of that State are the
| haudsomest in the world.
| Real estate in Roschuk has fallen very
rapidly of late A bombardment always tells
agans; fancy real estate prices.
Cbcago's last census claims population OF
| sol, oil. and they didn't count over half the
corpses IN the mo-gues, eiiher
The man who wrote Rain on the Roof"
| isn't dead, as reported. He has lived TO real.
ize that it is better 10 have rain ON the garden.
Henry Ward Beecher gave his lecture
| agent gold watch the other day, and vouches
| cor its true inwardness-New York Express.
a Swiss paper SAYS tina, Miss Molly Ma
gnire. of Pennsyvapia, was hung for misbe
having.-Free Press. How promptly your
He.vetian exchanges reach you.-Boston
Globe.
About this time O. year the man who has
spent hundred dollars on his garden begins
TO estimate bis onions at 81 each in order to
| make his books balance
Tue best range in the Turkish market just
now is the Balkan Range. The Russians will
do their cooking on II ere long. They have
already cooked the Turkey on it.-ED.
A Vicksburg man, when drawn OH a Justice
Jury, asked leave to pray that he might be
guided Alright, but the Justice Informed him
that it was usual to iod for tue plaintiff
That George II Butler. who was first heard
Of as fighter, is still sbootiog OFT his month
at the press. No one Knows why he doeSn
attack an editor-no one but himself.
A New York Chemist saws he wants noth-
ing more than three pals, barrel of old
water and twenty cents worth Of drugs 10
make six gallons of Ust such champagne as
fools pay dollar pint for.
They don't treat each other in the saloons
at Deadwood. Tie man who want' a drink
| simply remarks that he must save his other
ten cents to help Start an orphen asylum. and
the boys take it all rght.
They are having newspaper dispute in
Rhode Island as TO bow many eggs can be
properlv packed in a barrel. We'd suggest
| that some of them trv it il there was room in
| the State for the barrel to stand.
Tue Harvard boat crews headquarters at
SPRINGFIELD was inscribed, :Reporters and
Loafers not Wanted Here" The house, you
see. would ouy hold just the numbe- of
loafers it was bull fo..-R;chnoud Enquirer.
When visitor enters the sanctum, it is
better tban whole sermon on human natore
10 see the editor, with beaor'ful air of I'M
consciousness, slip al the lead pencils into a
drawer, and put the peatu'ie into bis pocket
Conversation at 5cbool commencement
First Young Lady-sMiss AS essay was
much better than Miss BIS" Second Young
L4dv-"Yes. but Mss BIS dress is mach
bandsomer ard cost mote than Miss A. S. =
| Norris;owa Herald.
A Utica woman was Killed by being struck
O the forehead with a rocket, and there isn't
= a fire jnsoyalce company up there that isn't
= dad the rocket struck her instead Of house
! OF which they held an INSURANCE. -Pbiade.'
!, ph'a Ch,or;cle.
!. II is a good ,h;1g for the melon patches OF
Is the South 'bat neg'os eyes are so construct
e ed that he can tell The difference in the nigh
n betweea sr-aw-man with SICK Oh hi:
q shoulder end the owner of he patch al
e ready to blaze away.
Tae CLEAN Of joy that illun'nes a man.
d face as he feels in his vest pocket and Thick.
4; he has got Just one match left to light hi.
g cigarette with, is onlv equaled bv the look O
It. dire despair trat settles upon his b 'ow wher
d he frds that that match is only second
rs hand toothpice-Ppct.
O. "Knew you e'er," said crafty Bhilip,
That when n,adens kissed would be,
!, Then with accents soft they sweety
Lisp their words in accents frees"
- Back the answer came, goldea
g. Mine of wealth IN every word;
IN "Yeth," the damsel gently murmured,
he -Yeth, dear Philip, tho I've heard"
III William Sbakespea, re was ma red at Bridge
il port, the o,her p;ght. His "Midsumme
mr. Nights Dream is Only jus; begun.-Alban
of Argus. Do you refer TO the flaming of tn
a Shrew a"-ETcbange. "As you Like IT,
", Ssratoga Register. 1t will prove "Lov's La
re- Dor Lost"-Grapbic. "Mdch Ado Abou
Notbiog"-Free Press. Still, we'd like ,
N, Lnow Il she's one of the "Nierry Wives q
Windsor
ut, One of the bellies of South Hill is going t
or marry young clergyman from Indiana TIL
ful South Hitler is a sweet, fair young girl now
and never the shadow of cloud has reste
ed on her brow; but you wait till she has got OF
of of bed two or three hundred times to max
is, up shake-downs and cook supper for min
oh brethren on their way to a convention or cor
ey ference, who have got in on the late train an
for couldn't find their way to the hotel.
,or lington Hawkeye.
Oh, the flies! the horrible flies!
'' Buzzing around like election lies;
y Dodging about like maniac dream,
us Over the butter and into the cream;