The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-12-26
The six-Button PrioripIe.

I Although the female dress reform
ers ALWAYS demonstrate at their au-
nual conventions that the practice OF
supporting stockings oy what are del
icately termed ligatures insures the
moral and physical ruin Of the sex,
no successful substitute for the de-
nounced article of dress has yet been
invented Certain ess-reformers
have, it is true, devised q system of
halyards. brails, and d0wnbauls. which
they assert are far superior TO the
! deadly ligature, bat the intrieaey of
all this running rigging, and the diff
Guilty which INEXPERIENCED persons
fad 10 its management have prevent
ed It from coming into use. The in
/ experienced woman when thus rig
ged is very apt to make mistakes,
and to Gnd nerself scudding under
bare poles, in consequence of having
hauled away on the downhaul when
she had merely intended to take q
small pull at the hslyards. Thus,
few persons except dress-refIrmers
rigged with the improved stocking
gear, and even these confess that, for
the purpose of catching an early
morning train, the despised ligature
/ has its manifest advantages
About Two months ago the ladies'
of three contiguous counties in Penn
T sylyanii were successiyely visited BY
a slight, graceful and unassumiug
young woman, who announced that
she was the agent Of a "Women's
Dress-Reform Benevolent Associa-
tion," and that she desired to call
/ their attention 10 a new invention of
immense hygienic value. The new
inye ltion consisted of the application
of the six-button glove principle to
hosiery. OF course, this is delicate
subject, but, in the interest of reform
and pnbiie morality, it must be dis
cussed. Il is idle for us to ignore the
existence of stockings, and it is cow
ardly 10 shrink from performing q
public duty because il involves an al
lusion 10 delicate topic Let US,
then, go boldly forward and relate
the strange conduct Of the unassum-
/ ing young woman, as reported
among the police news of a Pennsyl-
vania paper
While the substitution of buttons
for ligatures or running rigging struck
the ladies of three counties as an ad-
mirable invention, the amazing
cbeapness with which the agent of
the alleged association offered to sell
the improved garments created i'm
mense enthusiasm. She said that
the only object cft the association was
to do good, s1d that she was therefore
prepared to sell the bes. quality of
six-buttoned goods at 0ne-half of
their original cost. In confirmation
OF this statement she submitted litho-
graphic copies Of letters from Presi-
dent Hayes, Mr.. Tilden, Peter Coop
er, Stanley Matthews, and other EN-.
inent statesmen, all of whom asserted
that they felt that the introduction of
x-buttoned hosiery was the great
est boon which could be conferred
upon the women of America. and
simultaneously ordered six dozen
pairs of assorted sizes to be sent to
their respective addresses. In sddi-
ton to these letters the agent exbib-
tied sample of the garment in aues-
tion, which appeared to be of the
very best quality The opportunity
was one which no prudent ladv could
permit to pass unimproved. and near
ly every one to whom the agent ap-
piled ordered at least half a dozen
pairs, to be paid for upon delivery
There was, however, one little pre-
liminary which the agent insisted
was indispensable, if she was to ex-
ecute her orders to the satisfaction of
her customers. The human mind
shrinks from mentioning this prelim-
mary, but it cannot be ignored If
the buttons were to be of any use.
they must be so placed in relation to
the button holes that the garment
would be neither too tight nor too
loose. Hence. when the agent pro-
duced tape measure and note
book, her view of the matter was at
once conceded to be correct. and the
agents note book was furnished
with the required data. Then. that
unassuming agent went from house
to house throughout almost The whole
Of three counties, cheering the female
population with the hope of miracu-
louslv cheap and beautiful hosiery.
and filing her note book with statis-
tics. Unfortunately, the otherwise
astute agent drank too much whis-
kew at the last town which she visit
ed, aud teiag arrested for disorderly
conduct, confessed that she was q
man
When tie ladies who bad ordered
six button hosiery learned the truth
as to the uuassuming agent and the
fate which had befallen him, they de-
nounced the wretch with great vigor,
and were unanimously of the opinion
that q combination of wild horses
and red bot pincers could alone do
justice to him To this outb1rst Of
indignation succeeded the terrible
thought, what had this felonious
agent done with his collection Of sta
tistics? Naturally, this thought led
straight to Mysteries, and for the next
week the sale Of sal volatile in Central
Pennsylvania increased to an uupre-
cedented extent. ear
| A deputatiou of indignant fathers
waited upon the inconceivsble villain
in jail, and demanded the immediate
destruction of his note book. To
this request he declined to sccede.
He admitted that his pretended 1850
/ citation did not exist, and that be had
DO intention of executing the orders
1 which his customers had given him,
bat be explained that be vas a earn.