St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1877-11-09
A Funny Take-oR.

A Funny Take-of.
AN OFFICE SEEKERS CoNFEssIoN-Hos-
TILITY TO PRESIDENTS, ESPECIALLY
TOUCHING THE CIVIL SERVICE, ILLUS
TRATED BY EXAMPLE.
The most rattling and amusing fea-
lures of the Ohio campaign were given
to it by General George A. Sheridan of
Louisiana, who contributed bits of his
autobiography in manner which kept
his audience in roar of laughter.
President Hayes had requested him to
recommend the best man he could think
of for the collectorship at New Orleans.
He asked Hayes to give him time to re-
fleet. The President cheerfully did so,
and it was, ''by the way, the only thingn
he did give ''him up to date.n The re-
suit of his conscientious thought on the
subject he states as follows:
spent two or three days in delibera-
ton upon the question, and at last re-
luctantly came to the conclusion that
perhaps, all things considered, l came
nearer filling the bill than any other
man in the State who was likely to be
appointed. Shouts and cheers. | was
deeply anxious for the business interests
of the city. 1 had no doubt of my in
tegrity. Laughter.] Ny moral char
acter was-well, it was as fair moral
character as somewhat tropical man
could develop in very tropical coun-
try. AS for ability, knew possessed
that; upon this point was unanimous :;
l might possibly have had shadow of
doubt upon some other questions, but
upon this point l was solid. [Great
laughter.] knew l was a representa-
tive man, for had once served in Con-
gress with great satisfaction to my cou-
stituents. 1t is true l did not serve
long, but that was not my fault.
would have been serving the State yet
if the people would have elected me-
[Cheers and laughter was elected
for two years; had hard contest for
my seat. 1t was finally awarded me
about four hours before the adjourn
ment of the Congress to which had
been accredited. l hadn't much time
to make up a record, but / worked
hard voted on both sides of every
bill that came up; | yelled "Mr
Speaker !" every chance had called
one member liar, and told another he
was fool put my boots on my desk,
spit tobacco juice on the floor, Ogled the
ladies in the galleries, went into in-
Vulnerable committee rooms to take a
look at the documents, borrowed some
money and went home. Long con-
tinued laughter Considering the time
1 had, l made pretty good average
"member recordn Several people told
me they actually took me for an old
member. Great laughter.
! Tho Draci1aDf ,aooiua1 b;e
to take the place with great cordiality,
and then commissioned man Sheridan
had never thought of for the place.
Do you blame me for thinking the
administration a failure? The solid
earth seemed to slip from under me. l
felt the republic was gone-clean gone.
In the distress of my soul cried out
SIS this what l made 127 republican
speeches for in the last campaign ? or,
to state it more correctly, the same
speech l27 times. Immense laughter. !
Can this government go on if l am left
out Alas poor country, who will
care for you now that am banished by
the edict of tyrant, and can have no
chance to sustain you, to say nothing
of sustaining myself. l stated some
thing of this kind to Mr.. Hayes my
words moved him, moved him to con-
sole me, moved him to advise me. He
advised me either to ''pull down my
vest" or to ego west" Long continu-
ed laughter; j which, owing to the ex-
citement 1 was laboring under at the
time of the interview, cannot certainly
remember; but it is one or the other,
and (as he is known to be liberal MANI
perhaps it was both. My first impulse,
after listening to the consoling words of
the president, was to go and take-a
stroll. did !; l took three or four.
They braced me up; l felt better.
TLaughter. Notwithstanding l am not
collector of customs in New Orleans,
the government still runs on. the reve-
nues are collected and the republican
party lives. have reluctantly come
to the conclusion that l am not essen
tial to the maintenance of a republican
form of government upon this continent.
[Cheers and laughter. That there are
men as well qualified to administer
office as am that the president, being
responsible to the nation for the acts of
his appOintees, should be allowed the
largest latitude in their selection, and
that true sense and true patriotism
should convince me that i'll declining to
give me the position | asked, the presi-
dent acted for what he felt and believed
to be for the best interests of his coun-
try. My fellow citizens, those of you
who, like myself, have been disappoint-
ed in your aspirations and ambitions,
will, l think, upon calm reflection,
reach in your cases the same conclusion
l have reached in. mine.
The audience was cOnvulsed with
merriment during the delivery of the
above. Sheridan is said to have looked,
while he was talking, like the personi-
fication of injured innocence, and seem
ed to think it strange that the audience
found anything to laugh at in what he
was saving. So that, although the Ohio
campaign has made the democrats laugh
since the election, they didn't have as
good reason as the republicans-who
heard Sheridan's speeches--did before.
So long as men drink temperately,
men will drink intemperately, whether
it ought to be otherwise or not. If the
experience of the last century has de-
monstrated anything, it is that total alb
stinence is the only ground on which
any well-wisher of society can stand.
The liquor traffic has been bolstered
up for years, and is strong to-day, sim
ply through influence which is deemed
respectable. 1t must be made Infamous
by the combination of all the respecta-
| bic elements of society against it. 1t
must cease to be respectable to drink
| af all If muet aaasa f0 ha rasnpcta HE