The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1877-09-15
Putting Down the windows al
NighL:-A LauglInble Sketch,

On the advent Of thunder it is rarely
that a man wakes first. II he should he
keeps quiet, SO as not 10 disturb his wife,
and avails himself ofthe first lull to 90 to
sleep again. How differently . woman!
When she wakes up and hears that it il
raining she seems 10 lose all Judgment.
She catches her husband by the hair and
shaking his head hysterically screams:
"Get upl get up! lt's a pouring right
down in torrents and all the Windows ARE
up|
He cannot wake upunder such clrcum.
stances with an immediate clear conCep.
ton Of tho case; in fact II frequently hap.
pens that he is away out on the floor be.
fore his eyes are fairly open, having but
one idea really at work, and that Is what
is he doing out OF bed. The first thing 10
do is to Btrike light, and while he is
moving around for the matches and
swearing that some one has broken into
the house and moved them from where he
laid them on going to bed, (Which is al
ways plausible enough) abe hurls after
him the following tones:
"Do hurry. Mercy, how the rain Ia
coming right into those windowsl We
won't have carpet left il you don't move
faster. What on earth are you doing all
this TING? Can't find The matches2 Mercy
sake, you amt going to stumble around
here looking for matches, are you, when
the water is drowning us out? Go with
out light. What man you are; might
have better got up in the first place.
Well, (disparingly) let things go to ruin
II you mind to. I've said all my say, and
don't care il the whole house goes to
smash. You always would have your
own way, and 1 S'poSe You always will.
and now you can do az you please; but
don't dare 10 open your mouth to me
about it when the rains done-I have
talked and talked till am tired to death,
and | shan't talk any more. We never
could keep anything decent and we never
can; and 30 that's the end Of 1t. "a very
brief pausc.) John Henry, are you not
going to shut down those windows?"
Just then lie finds the matches, and
breaks the discourse by striking light.
lie was bound to have that help before
he moved out Of the room. He has got
the lamp lighted now.-No sooner does
ita glare fill the room than he immedi.
ately bloWs il out again for obvious rea.
sons. He had forgotten the windows
were open, and it almost causes him to
SILVER when he thinks Of his narrow es.
cape.
lie moves out into the other room with
celebrity now. He knows pretty we'll what
direction 10 20, and when flash Of light.
ming comes It shows him on the verg Of
climbing over stool or across the centre
table. lfthere is rocking chair in the
house he Is sure 10 fall over it. A rock.
ing chair Ia much surer in its aim than a
streak otlightning. It never misses, and
that ia just at the base Of his shin. We
have fallen over more than eight hundred
rockers Of all patterns and prices, and al.
ways received the frat blow in the one
place. We have been with dying people
and have heard them affirm in the solemn
hush Of thatlast hour that rocking chair
always hits man on the shin first.
| And when n man gets UP In the dead oil
night to shut down the windows. he never
misses the rocking chair. is the rea,
end OF one Of the rockers that catches him
II Is dreadful agony. But he seldom criet
out, He knows his audience too we'll, 4
woman never falls over a rocking chair
and she will never understand why a mar
does, But she can tell whether he has by
the way he puts down windows when h,
finally reaches them. A rocking chai,
window. Give may be allowed the term
can be heard three times as far as an,
other.