The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-04-06
The shades of night were falling fast,
When up the street a Tuscan passed;
Beneath a box his form was bowed,
And evernore he yelled aloud
Blue glass


procession was headed by a band, "wit.
their new green overcoats, lined with ret
flannel discoursing sweet music.
All hairpins look alike to men, but let
wife go off on visit, and come home ant
find strange hairpin near the door, anC
she can't wait minute to grow red in tht
face
The husband who informed his wife siz
months ago that he would let her put ou
the washing as soon as times improved has
kept bis word. He let's her, put it out OF
the line
Sam, did you see Mr.. johnson, the new
overseer?n " Yes, massa; I met him
down by the cotton gin" "He's a good
looking fellow: isn't hep" Well, massa.
he talks like q sgood looking man he made
a bow-dat's all he said"
The railway companies refused to sell
tickets at half rates to people coming to
Boston to hear Moody and Sankey, on the
ground that business men would take ad-
vantage Of it. This is rough on Massa-
chusetts proverbial probity and piety.
"Come, Pete," said a merchant to a
gentleman Of the colored persuasion,
"Wbat'll you put that load Of wood into the
cellar for 2'' In de fus place, my name
is Peter, sab; secondly, l is a perfess'nl
carpet cleaner and whitewasher; furder
mo, I doesn't compete for such jobs,
saht"
A plucky schoolmarm in South Jamaica,
L. L, whipped the biggest boy in the
school, and when his father six-footer,
came around wanting to know, you know,
she put him to fight with the fire-shovel.
The scholars now understand who's boss.
Novelty is what makes the world inter
esting. An Italian who wouldn't look
around the corner of his house to see a sun
set that would intoxicate US, will come
here and go wild over the spectacle of a
man stnfdng link sausages.
The German word for life insurance is
" Observation-Disclosures Tt has
the great advantage that, while the agent
is pronoQneing it, tie victim is fairly warn
ed, and has an opportunity to climb over
the fence and hide under the barn"
The Germans are frugal people,
says an American writer, after visiting the
Berlin Opera House. q As soon as the
Opera was. over, a man in front took wads
Of cotton from his pocket and stopped up
his ears to save the music be had paid for.
There is a lady in the country so ezees-
sively modest that she refuses to see any
Ting with the naked eye. She has a sis
ter who never goes out after dark, for the
sufficient reason that she can get in the
house. A brother is so eccentric that he
declines invariably to take cold.
An editor announces the death of lady
Of his acquaintance, and then toachingly
adds: In her deeease the sick lost a val
uable,friend. Long will she seem to stand
at their bedside, as she was wont, with the
balm Of consolation III ore hand a cup of
rhubarb IN the other.
Boston has a social organization which
calls itself us Two" We have always
maintained that a limited organization Of
that kind, with nightly meetings at the
front gate in summer, and il The back par
lor in winter, afforded more chance for i'm
pfovanent than any Of the oFergroRH So
eiet;es.
Sara Smith Stafford, daughter of the leu
tenant who sprang into the sea and rescu-
ed the flag shot from Paul Jones ship.
Roa Homme Richard, in tie battle with
the English ship Scripts, in 1779, is still
living n Trenton. She has IN her posses
sion the flag shot from the masthead Of the
B i Homme Richard and rescued BY her
father. Il i Of bunting, with thirteen red
and white stripes and twelve white stars
on 4 blue field.
The following is the verdict Of a negro
jury I'VE, De undersigned, being 4 kor-
oners jury to sit on De body Oh de niger
sambo, now dead and gone afore US, hab
been sittin On de said niger aforesaid,
T IIz Ia ~ u n