The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-08-02
A Dynasty Of Cooks.

Nor long ago an interregnum of a dis
astrOus and unhOly character took place
within the family Of certain literary
gentleman of New York. From week to
week he kept account of the rapid changes
in down stairs government, and called his
document, when finished, "Culinary Dy-
nasty of the House of Brown, from the
Reign of Bridget the Pure down to the
Present Monarch" Similarly embellished
by incidental rhetorical graces, Mr..
Browns list read something after the fol-
lowing manner:
Bridget l., surnamed the Pure. Began
TO reign December 1857; abdicated Octo-
Der, 1876, because contemplating life of
seclusion-and matrimony. Her reign
was marked by great executive wisdom,
clemency and economy, and its cessation
caused the most sincere regret. Succeed
ed by
Bridget H., a sovereign of considerable
administrative power, but cursed with q
most irascible disposition. lnsulted her
Prime Minister mrs. Brown. when justly
rebuked b. that dignitary for her reckless
consumption of butter. Popular opinion
Mr.. Brown, being decidedly against
her, she abdicated, November, 1876, in
favor Of
Katharine, surnamed the Flirt, on &C.
count of the multiplicity of her suitors.
"a giidy, good.natured Queen, but wholly
united for her exalted position. Deposed
November, 1876. and succeeded by
A Regency of three days. during which
Jane. q valued chamber-maid, welded
with much ability the culinary scepter
After which the kitchen was descended
into by
Bridget ILL.,, a sovereign whose charac-
ter previous to accession lad been repre-
sented as stainless, but who early gave
signs of the most revolving intemperance.
Driven from the kitchen by an indig-
ant people (Mr. Brown, after an alc0.
holic reign Of only two days, and sue.
ceeded by
Mary Ellen, satirically surnamed the
Skeleton, on account Of her unnatural
st0utness. Celebrated for her intense la
ziness. Deposed December, 1876, and sue
ceeded by
Margaret, popularity known as the
Fiend. Threatened to kill her Prime
Minister two hours after coronation. On
the following day refused to abdicate. Re-
sisted even the demands of the army "a
policeman who unanimously Endorsed the
policy of the Prime Minister. Imprisoned
for high treason December, 1876. End
unknown. Succeeded by
Bridget w., surnamed the Lunatic.
Her administration was chiefly distin-
guished by an attempt to subvert the usual
methods of dining throughout her realm ;
causing soup to be served after fish, and
meat before either. Banished after tur-
bulent reign of twelve hours, and succeed
ed BY
Ann, known as the spoiler. :: /.
And 90 on, through terrible list OF
wrong and outrage, the chronicle contin-
ues, 1t last ending in the month OF Feb
ruary, 1877, with the following happy
item: ag I'LL a
Bridget XIV. the, reigning sovereign,
surDamed the Culinary Antonine. Mod
est Of demeanor, gentle in speech, wise
and economical in her rule. Beloved by
Minister and people. A slight difficulty
with France (the children's foreign nurse),
which occurred in the early part Of her
reign, has now been amicably settled. The
realm ID ct present in most flourishing
condition, and the refrigerator has never
been 90 prosperously administered. Long
live Bridget V.!-Applston' Journal.