, 1877-10-07

The safest way to rid yourself of your wifc's
fcnIalc friends is to make love to them.
Iu Ncyala you can get divorce for IS, and 4
| prosecuted lnan asks himself, s'Why build the
fires any longer!a
"My opinion ISL said philosophical old
/ lady OF much e1perienceand observation, " that
auy man Us dies upon washing-day does it out
Of spite.''
4 lady has just been appointed principal OF a
! hi.ll-scAool in Delaware. From which 1t Is fair
to assume that the motto of the Trustees is,
principals, not men,
| Husband-s That bcastly dog, ] can't enter
| thu room without his biting my 1rgs.' Wife,
pc.Siyc!y-'' Poor little creature; lie is 30 intel
| l,:.cnt. t.'-Ffe,tch Paper.
| \ fashion paper says the hustle is going out
| Of fashion. Never While s2oony man aud
loving woman live, the buss'u be Ill fashion,
! aud III demaud.-IIamkfye.
1t is supposed that Charles Francis Adams ac-
quircl his rold, fTigid. appalling reserve and
l,autcur i,y studying 1 woman clerk III dry
goods store waiting upon woman customer.
1t was a Boston man who went home carly in
the Informing, aud, meeting the sad. reproachfuf
eyes of his wife :polO1iZcd, ' My darling, think
You'll De sorry for this when you cit shobcr."
Since the introduction Of "fen1ale postmas-
tiers - 4 girl gucs up 10 the window and says:
t!1s there Il letter for Miss Margaret Robinsou!"
s'Ycs." says the "feMlie Postmaster" ''Ilerc
is one from John McJones. ."--New York Herald.
When he was 4 young man he rushed into 1
burning building and Iallantly dragged her OUT
by the hair OF her head. They were married.
tile next winter, and now she rustes III dtd
drags him out Dy the hair Of his head whenever
she feels like it. Such is true love.
Mr. Agassiz says that in certain An1azonian
tribes un the ,fay Of his marriage, while the
wed<iing-fcstiyltics are going on, the bride
yruom's hands are tied up in n paper bag with
tre-ants. Ii he bears thu torture sinilin.ly and
uunovcd, lie is considered tit ior the trials Of
matrimOuY.
When canyasscr called at the house OF an
austcre ku,lantl willow the other day and i1l-
1uirtd if There WAS man un the premises, the
lady replied loftily: "None; but have :: very
large dug wnch takes the place Of man, aud
reflects credit upon the mousse" Ihc cauyasser
took the hint and departed.
4 noted English surgeon says that the reason
women can't throw missiles us accurately as
men is because their shoulder blades are set too
fur forward. This explanation, however, affords
no satisfaction whatever to the man Whose wife
can score i bulls eye at ten yards Oh his head
with skillet, twice out Of three times.
1t is fair that all the fun should not be made
at the expense OF the mothers-in-law. An old
auecdote touching sorl-in-law has been revived
Ill France. NJ Koze. Secretary Of Louis NV,
annoyed at the incessant complaints addressed
to hnn By his son-ill-law, finally said 10 him:
'sYou are right, ami, il my daughter gives
any further cause for dissatisfaction, will dis
inherit hcr."-L'INEstrutiou-
At the Queen Of EngIand:s drawing-room re-
ccptious, three white feathers must adorn the
hair OF the married lady, and two that of an url-
1parricd lady. Peeresses and their daughters
are kissed on the cheek By the Queen, but other
Indies Of less ''hish degree - kiss her Alajestys
hand. The Princess OF Wales sometimes takes
the Queens place at these sdrawing-rooms," in
which case the kisses are dispensed with.
The lie Parisie7le thus describes 4 modern
1atly's dress: ssShe wears cravat and cuffs Of
old point lace, like Monsieur de Lauzln, a
piferari hat, Polish boots, Louis XIV. dresses,
Il Catherine dc Mclic aumoutcreaa Madame dc
Maintcnon mantle, a Marie Autoinctte ti;llu, a
Spanish mantilla. Queen Of Navarro gloves,
Sultaua veil, and nabob's golden cloth skirts
This modern fashion is a fotpourri Of all FASH
ions, all nations, and all ti1ncs.''
He was up to see his girl on Sunday night.
He is nice young man, careful in his ways and
with his best eye wide open to he main chance.
In the course Of the conversation he observed |
cnecrfuliy, Times arc looking better, Amelia.
was reading in the paper last night that stocks
arc 1ir1ncr, and the crops were never more |
abundant. shouldn't be surprised if the old |
prosperity came back to us this winter" II |
lope so,'' said she drcatnily, 'stor I'ln getting
about tired of cEunehing on rock-candy.'' The |
young uan squrmcd.-Dahburv 4Netus.