The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1877-04-05
ALL SORTS.
A draw game the dentists.

/ "A uiHW SsftilC- Iilc UGIiJSt
Flies may be easily caught by old maids
on blue glass windows
'sPoetic Justice''-Consigning original
poems to the editorial waste basket.
The foot and mouth disease has appeared
in England. Weston and Sergeant Bates
have it.
Mrs. Sartoris has another baby, and Eng
land seems good deal closer to this country
than it did.
Some people can't endure Il ringing selsa.
ton in the ear, while most ladies take very
naturally to ear-ssring.
Who says our civilization is played out?
The Chinese pickpocket has made his appear
ance in San Francisco.
And where now is Mr.. Upper? -Rochester
Democrat. 'sh-don't say word; he's medi-
tating another poem.
A punster was oEce thrust into closet
with the threat that he would not be released
until he made pun. Almost instantaneous.
ly he exclaimed, 80 pun the door!'
Oliver Logan says she'd like to be an Eng
lishman's wife and have him to ask her to
bring him his bcots She'd make him think
a tornado had struck the house.
The Prince of Wales intends to discard tall
hats. Good. Now we can wear our stove
pipe without the annoyance OF being mistake
en- for Prince.
''Bridget, told you to let me have my
hot water the first thing in the morning."
'Shure, sir, said Bridget, didn't bring it up
and lave at the dure last night, so as to have
it in time? y
Original form: The man who sold the Ii
on's skin while the beast lived was killed
while hunting him. Modern form The man
who tried to dose the bull while the bull
dozed was buldozed while dosing him.
A schoolmaster asked a class what Shy
lock meant when he said, my deeds upon
my head.' Well said one OF the boys,
81 don't know, unless he carried his papers
in his hat.''
The Senate has passed the bill originated
in that body appropriatng sl25,000 for the
purpose OF erecting suitable buildings for the
Colored Lunatic Asylum, to be located Oh
| Hare's farm, near Petersburg
Melodious Miss Cary has just placed on ex-
hibition in Portland shop window the gold
breakfast service presented to her in Russia.
1t is beautiful in workmanship, and each
piece has painting representing some Rus
| sian scene.
| Old DR.. Sam johnson knew what he was
| talking about when, in his dictionary, he
put this definition ''Network : Anything
reticulated or decussated at equal distances,
| with interstces between the intersections.
| Mrs. Hayes, it appears, does not dress ex-
pensively enough to please the fashionable
ladies of Washington. She receives them
attired in plain black silk gown, with her
hair simply dressed, and wearing no jewelry,
and they don't like it. .t4.5ss.5 t..
| At Mycen@ frog jumped out of one Of
the unearthed stone collins, and DR.. Schlie
mann is said to have Immediately soiloquiz-
ed: $50 think that my eyes have looked
upon living contemporary of Agamemnon,
Hector and Hecuba, and the rest of them =
| No definite trace has as yet been made of
A. Oakley Hall, the missing ex-mayor of ew
York. The impression is gaining ground
that he has gone to Europe. The Boston
Transcript of March IL shows Mr. Halls ar
rival in that city on that day.
| Comparatively few of tho contracts for
postal routes in Virginia have as yet been
completed. The awards were made last week
in over three hundred cases, and not one.
tenth OF that number haveI as yet filed their
| bonds. "a
The Boston Traveller i, res mp. the attempt
to evolve pun on ''rhy lloxera." We don't
know what the wor means, but it Nigh:
very properly ref Il to the time when the
Western stock-raisers begin to fatten their
cattle for the market-the fill OK era, you
know.
The people OF Mexico have had quite
enough of Diaz and are reported ripe for
another revolution. Peace has continued SO
long there that things have become stagnant,
politically speaking. Three m his Of in-
interrupted quiet is more than the average
Mexican can endure. iaaa 58j &
i An individual who sold clans OH the Lords
day defended himself with the plea that he
Cleared the clam wntI not keep till Nom
. Ha
day, and it would be = H. / t, pay the costs
of court and enjoy a free conscience than to
palm off CLANS on an unsuspecting people,
and suffer the pangs of remorse -
''Blue glass is very we'll in its way"
says friend of ours, shut its rather more
than our friend expected. 2 He noticed a
window full of it in his neighbours house, and
the following week his good wife presented
him with twins. He didn't delay moment
in going for the blue glass window with all
the cobble-stones he could lay his hands on
The members elect of the next House OF
Representatives, including the ne members
! from New Hampshire, are divided geograph.
ically as follows by the ST. Louis Republican
(Dem.):
Denis. Reps
Six New England States-........ 5 23
Three Middle States................ 80 81
Sixteen Southern States......... 90 16