River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-08-23
One OF A. Wards Jokes.

who was something oil tuft-hunter
withal. As Lord Byron said of the poet
Tom Moore, "he dearly loved a lord,n or
any body fiourishing a handle to his
name. My friend Weatherwax I'VE will
50 call him for as good citizen and
rate-payer, and the father of large fam
lily, | must not disclose his real name
had charming house, brilliant draw
ing-room, and was fond Of entertaining
artistic society. Artemus and he were
quickly sympathetic and became close
friends, but, with his characteristic pen
etration, he was not long discovering
Weatherwax's penchant for swell ac-
quaintances. Calling with Artemus, one
afternoon, we were shown into the salon,
anC, while awaiting our host, we amused
ourselves with looking over the visiting
cards in huge china bowl. On the top
of the pile was conspicuously placed the
card of Lord Cowley. The careful posi-
ton of the bit of cardboard plainly indi-
Gated that it had not got there by chance.
The eye of the humorist twinkled, and in
an instant he transferred the card to the
bottom of the bowl, leaving plain Brown,
Jones, Robinson, as the case might be, at
the top in full view.
Now" said Artemus, from time to
time as we come here, we will follow the
fortunes of that card"
"Suppose we rob him of il right
OUT | said, with malicious mildness,
" and break his heart forever and ever, /"
mot bit of it; that will defeat my
purpose"
Our host appeared; we had our inter
view, and departed. A few days passed,
and we called again. We were shown,
as usual, into the drawing and,
glancing at the bowl, found the card of
Cowley had been fished up from the bot
tom and restored to its old position as
head of the heap On this day we dined,
and during the evening Artemus whisked
the card off the top of the bowl,
and said, by Jove, I'll secrete this
where he'll never find it," and while
Neatherwax had gone to look after the
ladies, he placed it between the leaves of
mammoth gilt-edged, gorgeously-ill-
animated family Bible.
"There, I've securely lodged it in the
book of job" whispered Artemus; " now
we'll see how long it abideth there. l
don't think he troubles the sacred tome
very often"
A week or more passed before we saw
Weatherwax again. The card had been
found in the meantime, and proudly
beamed at us from its usual conspicuous
position. This time Artemus slipped it
under the carpet, and in so doing rather
soiled its pure enamelled surface.
"Ods Bodkins, as they say in old Eng
fish, think it's found a secure resting
place at last. He'll not see that surely
until the carpets are taken up or shaken.
My Lord Cowley, sweet and tender
adieu."
1t must have been month before our
next call, and we palpitated with curios-
ity as we approached the house. In a
few minutes we were bending over the
aforementioned china bowl, and to our
establishment there was not only the card
in its old place. but it had been carefully
cleaned, evidently with India-rubber, and
shone with all its original brightness.
"That's the most Micawber-like card l
ever saw-it's always turning up.
wonder if he has started new one" and
he felt under the carpet to see if by any
chance the old card was there. No, it
was gone, and the one we pensively gazed
upon was evidently the same that had
been concealed.
I" i am bothered now to know where to
hide that darned pssteboard, but think
we must give him one more search" re-
marked the American, dryly. Now
where will we put it," and he moved
around the apartment in his endeavor to
light on secure spot "Ah, here" and
mounting a chair, he laid it carefully
high away on the broad cornice of the
lofty window, entirely cut of sight.
"That will bother him. Hunting the
hare or deer stalking is nothing to this.
l should like TO see him on his travels in
search of the lost prize. | wonder if he
suspects u.s.
At that moment our Ampbytrion en-
tered the room. He was in buoyant
spirits, having enjoyed spin on a coach,
four-in-hand, over Hampstead and High
gate, with a noble duke.
s'Ah, glad to see you. Had such a
glorious ride on Beaufort's coach. Coach
ing is. delightful, and His Grace has tour
handsome browns, the wheelers perfection
of shape and action, and the leaders,
though little raw and new to their work,
greatly admired" And he ratified on as
pleasantly as the coach which he had so
recently quilted. "As my friend, Lord
Cowley, says" And, as he uttered the
last word, his eyes fell, as if unconscious
ly, on the bowl. He saw at a glance that
the card had gone. The quotation from
Cowley was lost to the world, and in
stantly he began turning up the pile of
cards to see if it had fallen beneath.
"What are you looking forl" asked
Artemus, with inimitable innocence of
manner and perfect imperturbability of
feature.
"Only card, it's no matter"
He evidently did not connect US in any
way with the loss, for he soon took up
the thread of his previous subject and de-
scribed with great animation the details
of his morning ride, interlading his OBJ
servations with frequent aristocratic al
lusions, but every now and then his eye
wandered to the bowl, as if the card
came between his thoughts. At length
we departed. 1t was quite ten days be-
fore / called again, and then only for a
moment. alone. / observed that the now
celebrated card was absent. 1t had not
been found. / mentioned this to Arte-
mus, who received the news with boyish
expressions of delight.
Shortly after this we met Weatherwax
in the street looking very pale and thin.
Artemus, in his whimsical way, imme-
diately ascribed his illness to the loss OF
the card.
He'll 60 into mourning, the next
thing we know protested he. "I'll REM
edy this and off he waltzed to print
er's, where he had fifty cards printed with
the name Lord Cowley granaly inscribed
thereon. Making neat parcel of them,
and tying them up with cerisse ribbon in
bows, he despatched them to