The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-10-13
NOmadic Filtration.

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The delights of nomadic Irritation were
recently signally illustrated by the ex-
perience of a youthful student of one of
the colleges in this State. While in a
railway car this young man saw an IN
protected young lady and marked her
for his prey. Taking seat beside her,
he began a conversation by few power
full and convincing remarks upon the
weather. The young lady, who was
quite his peer in amiable Stiffness, at
first answered him in able monosyllables.
and finally, yielding to the wiles of her
new acquaintance, Joined with him in
devouring the seductive peanut and in
trying her fortune with the prize candy
that cheats but does not inebriate-un-
less we may regard collie as all intoxica-
ton of the stomach. For nearly an hour
this rare and radiant maiden, whom her
parents named Mary Jane, and this in
nocuous undergraduate whose name is
charitably suppressed, f1irted to their
own immense satisfaction and INDUCED
in that curious though innocent amuse-
ment known as tee-heeing" until the
other passengers even wished that they
were dead. Finally, the young man
felt that he must retire in order to
chuckle in private and ease his strained
mind by exultingly calling himself ca
wild young fellow" and he the1eupon
sought the smoking-car and painfully
began the consumption of mild Con-
necticut cigar.
His dream of bliss was soon inter-
rupted by the appearance of the conduct
or, who abruptly demanded "that
watch" Now the young man had no
watch of any kind, and said so with a
clearness which did him credit. The
conductor then explained that he had
stolen young ladys watch, and that he
must come with him and restore it with
out delay. Red as rose was he when
he confronted the young lady, with his
collar in the tight grip of the conductors
hand, and timidly denied her fierce &C.
cusation that he was pickpocket. Of
course the incident created immense ex-
citement in the car, and the young lady's
tears were accepted by every body as con-
elusive evidence of the truth of her
charge. One old gentleman, who had
been unable to read his newspaper in
consequence of the prolonged "tee-hee-
ings" already mentioned, remarked that
a man who would force himself upon an
innocent girl as the undergraduate had
done would unquestionably pick pockets
or perpetrate any other detestable crime.
1t was the unanimous opinion of the
passengers that he should be made to
disgorge, and should then be either
thrown from the train when in motion or
should be tied hand and foot in the bag
gage-car and delivered to the police at
the next stopping place. One large
man, with short hair and partially
leveled nose, took the ground that what
the fellow" really wanted was, in sub
stance, change of head, and that he
felt it his duty to provide him with new
head without the least delay Mean
while the young man begged for mercy,
and implored the young lady to look in
her pocket and see if she could not find
the missing watch. The conductor, who
was married man, and knew that the
female pocket is never used for watch
carrying purposes, was so indignant at
what he called the "cheek" of this sug-
gestion that he called brakeman to hold
the miserable young man so that he could
" go through him." as he metaphorically
expressed it. The young man was &C
cordingly searched with great thorough
ness, but with no notable result save the
discovery of a small comb, which he
providently carried in his pocket in order
to be prepared In case of sudden and
profuse growth of mustache. When it
became evident that the watch was not
concealed upon his person twas decided
that he had either swallowed it or Sc
cretly dropped it out of the window,
and the conductor, partly in order to
prevent the effusion of blood on the vel
vet cushions of the car, stopped the train
and deposited the young man in a nice
swampy spot. Precisely fifteen minutes
afterward Miss Mary Jane gave a joyful
shrek and extricated the watch from
some mysterious locality Immediately be-
hind the front of her dress, into which it
had accidentally slipped. Thus was the
innocence of the Undergraduate estab-
lished, and he thereupon sank in the
public estimation from skillful pick
pocket to the more degrading position of
an unlimited idiot.-N Y. Times.
GAMBFTTA althOuUh only thirtvnipn