The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1877-10-06
NUMBER 25.
PASSING SMILES.
MAID of money--A young heiress.
EVERY honeymoon has man in it.

EVERY honeymoon has man in it.
How long can man live without
hrainsY' asked professor Of a rustic.
81 don't know" replied the latter.
Glow old are you yourself?"
AN editor says that when he was in
prison for libeling justice of the
peace, he was requested by the jailer to
give the prison puff"
THIRTEEN is an unlucky number of
persons to have at n dinner party
particularly if there is only enough to
so around comfortably for twelve.
ROME Sentinel: One little grain Of
statesman to abandon for the time his
defense of the best financial theory in
the world.
NEW York Commercial: A dispatch
from Columbus, Ohio, says that Miss
Anna Suydam fell from swing this
morning, breaking limb" Whose,
hers or the trees?
THE man who comes to the depot two
minutes behind time, and secs the rail-
road train scudding out the other end,
derives no satisfaction or comfort from
the proverb, better late than never"
AN old farmer, on being asked why
peacock that was strutting through the
yard was like a figure 8, couldn't see the
when he was told that it was nothing
without its tail.
THE man has been found who could
do all the business he wanted to without
advertising, and has been compelled to
advertise at last. He lives in Florida,
and his advertisement is headed
"Sherif's Sale"
lT changes mans name amazingly
to become n public singer BY elevation
to baritoneship in the Kellogg Opera
Troupe, plain William Green {" Bill
Green" the boys always called him) is
turned into "Signor Verdi"
BosToN Herald. A man with a
secret drawer in him must be useful.
The dispatch about the South Carolina
robberies says Ex-Governor Moses de-
posted certain papers in "a secret
drawer of his private Secretary"
BosToN Journal. Bob, can you tell
me why Pm like the moon when IL is
twcnty-thrce days old2" Bob couldn't
tell, and the questioner explained:
+" Because I've passed my last quarter"
A small loan was advanced Immediately.
COME down this minute" said the
boatswain to mischievous son of Erin
who had been idling aloft. Come
down, say, and I'll give you good
dozen, YOU rascal!' "Troth sur, an
wouldn't come down il you would give
me two DOZEN"
KENNEBEc Journal: A countryman
recently gazcd intently for few mo-
ments upon the sign Of one OF our most
popular druggists, which read IS
Pharmacy" and exclaimed, well, by
gosh, what docs - know about farm
ing? don't believe he knows as much
as a setting hem"
"BRING on your witnesses" said the
Judge in n western murder trial. Clerk
docking up and whispering to the
judge): There is II little game Of pedro
going on in the other room. Judge:
Sancho or plain? Clerk Sancho. Judge:
This court is adjourned for an hour.
WORCESTER Press: The king of
Sweden has sent to America for a
cabinet organ, but it is understood that
strong efforts will be made to persuade
him to take an accordion instead. No
opportunity to get one Of those abomina-
tions out of the country should be
missed.
A PAULDING farmer, having cattle
tresspassing upon his grain fields, posted
up the following: Motifs If any man'N
or womans cows or oxen gifts in these
here otes his or her tale will be cut off as
the case may be. am Christian an
pay mi taxes, but darn man who let's
his critters run luse, say l."
New YORK Commercial Adrertiser:
Preparations are being actively made
for the resumption of fall studies at the
various large universities. Entire new
sets of bats and balls throughout have
been provided at Yale, and Harvard is
reported to have ordered large consign-
ment Of euchre decks from London
dealer.
ROCHESTER, Democrat: Let grown
person cry with half the strength,
volume and frequency of babe and he
would kill himself in twenty-four hours.
Who can explain thisappalling mystery?
THE BABY's THOUGHTS.
What is the little one thinking about?
Very wonderful things, no doubt,
Unwritten history!
Unfathomed mystery
Yet he laughs and cries and eats and drinks,
And chuckles and crows and mods and winks,
As If his head were full Of kinks
And curious riddles as any sphinx!
Hell never know
Where the summers 60;
He need not laugh for he'll ind it 90.