The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1877-08-06
EVARTS AT HOME.

HOW ONE OF THOSE INDEFINITE SENTENCES
WAS ErrEcruALLY cunTAILED-A DIoGRApH-
IcAL FRAGMENT.
From the Rochester IN. " Democrat, August ~
And Mr. Evarts Is equally unfortunate in the most
important segment OF tne family circle There come
times in tho experience OF tho most Of US whom all the
AID and comfort provided by wealth are absent. when
the servants have struck for higher wages perhaps,
and the younger members of the family prosecuting
the unproducti amusement known croquet Atsuch
moment Mr. Evarts occupied char In tho kitchen OF
his beautiful country residence wrapped In the morn
Ing newspaper aud his dressing gown and slippers, and
obveus OF all The rest OF tho olsome world; while
Mrs Evarts busted herself in the method most cacu-
lated to produce tho nutriment necessary to fc-in
point Of fact morning meal and rather late one.
"Wllian, said the lady softly, and apparently after
. period Of somewhat appalling doubt, 81 am sorry,
but il is necessary to have some coal"
"Ho-huml' SAID Mr.. Evarts, eevating his distIn
guishcd slippers still higher, and apparently lost I'D
deep thought $50 far from this mans undertaking
political economy-and grant that It Ia subject SO
profound tbat one may almost say is without begin
ming and without cndI doubt II BIO knows the proper
method OF extracting the minor from the major guam
lily in a simple sum in aivlsion. / have hcrs"--ne
shook the paper with some impatIeuce-''l have here
Philosopher indeedl And what ia phiosophys Phil
osophy Is in OF many particulars, the art OF max
ing that which is unavoidable a. enourable, nay as
enjoyable, as the material at hand, under the most
skilful manipulation, Will permit One authority puts
II, what can't be cured must be cndured'-homcly,
but expressive. Another authority says 1t is the
knowledge oil how 10 extract sunbeams from cucum
bers BY tho way, don't think that It IS possible.
We will drop that branch OF the subject however.
We will proceed, II your honor plsases, 10 dscuss"--
''WIlam" said Mrs. Evarts gently, ''the water will
never oo,i unless = has better nre under y Inc
bring that coalY'
srhe Vermont Philosopher ~ said Mr. Evarts after
pause during which no looked vacantiy a. Mrs. Evarts
and abseutly brought tho paper between her kindly
face and himself. "And they call thi: an organI
They speak Of civil service reform as IL it wero the
nero puzzle Of schoolboy instead Of the grandest
subject since the discovery OF America by Christopher
S 90; ws he
evils under which We labor as nation arc occasioued
by the lack OF reform in the civil service and that
gigantic evil reier to the system IN voguehas gone
increasing until we are disgusting community of
olce hoacrs and not one patriot In thousand men TO
raise warning voice put out his hand 10 stay tho
surging pillows which are threatening TO over
whcm"-
sion OF mingled pain, astonishment ana anger, "Mrs.
Evarts yon would not pull my har II there IS
anything this world that makes me mad ~ TO have
. woman pull my hair Don't do that again."
civilian" said Mrs. Evarts, with somc indications
OF vexalou 81 took that method Of reminding you that
we want c0al--coall Now don't commence again,
please ntl you get some coal -
ssThe Vermont Philosopher" said Mr.. Evarts, with
Increased contempt alter regarding the good lady with
inquring solemnity Tor moment and rapidly relaps-
ing TO his former state o! proIundity 'Hah here IS
something regarding the present condition OF affairs In
Europe. The tho emblem OF the barbarian,
beyond question; but am in some doubt whether,
considering the great talk OF progress liz the Russian
Empire notwithstanding the decree assuming TO apol
sh serd0m-t Is questionable, by the way whether 1t
been abolished much deed AS II has ostensiby,
and 1t Is certain that millions OF the subjects OF the
Gar little better than many fairly average dogs
l some doubt, l say, whether the cross isn't
my version s hardly allowable, tor cross Is not
livory-something of livery whercwith TO do the
service oil the enemy OF all mankind. Tho attitude Of
England Is certainly that OF cold calculating, shrewd,
avaricious, graspng person. whiting Tor chance to
strike when shall have rendered the white
bear unable to dofend"--
| ..Wiiam!" said Mrs. Evarts, this time in o
mandng voice.
| Mr. Eva:ts besitated, in q far-away manner but
i'm ediatey resumed the broken thread. Gas Aus
tra," Daid Mr.. Evarts ~ can't say that admire tho
| action, or perhaps the lack Of action-Ouch!"
At this point Mr. Evarts bounded from his char
and garcd around the room like wild beast at the
same time placing his hand n respectful manner
that portion his corporal being directly below the
back OF his vest "What did you do that for?" he
yelled.
II want that coal ~ said Mrs Evarts in a voice that
evidently meant sonnet hing; land have extracted
| only one from this whole paper OF pins. The re-
| maInder will be used II necessary"
"Why didn't you say soY' said MI Evarts shortly
| and In a loud tone, evidently greatly agitated
%! did, but yon wouldn't hear me-" said the good
| lady, apparently unabashed.
'Eevcn boys and rs many servants In this family, ~
softly said Mr.. Evarts, with thoughtful carncstness
us no shunicd away TO get the desired article, "and
OF tho President Of the United Ststesl That's what
Mrs Evarts knows Of political economy There be
service reform IN this family directly, or by
Jovc! l'll know tho reason why"