The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1877-10-12

The papers almost daily contain nc
counts Of the bad doings Of tramps. but
there's another side TO the case, and an
old tramp yesterday visited this Office
for the purpose Of stating II.
I'm an average tramp" he began al
he dropped into q chair as awkward al
camel. s'I'm as homely, impudent,
ragged, hungry and reyengeful as any
Of them, but I've never been arrested,
never fired haystack or barn, never
threatened a woman or struck a man,
and yet I've got some statistics To show
I that I'm looked upon as human mon
ster."
He shook off one Of his old shoes,
pulled up his pant-leg, and continued
"That's scar number one. was en-
tering farmhouse gate just as born
gentleman would have done, and | sim
ply intended to ask for drink, when
the farmer set his dog on me, and was
bitten in this shameful manner. Just
above that Is scar number two, received
when farmer pushed me off his steps
for asking the time o. day. Suppose
am poor and ragged? Don't want to
know how time flies as well as you or
any one elseP When I've made break
fast off raw turnip or part Of cab
bage it's of some importance to know
when noon comes, even If there is no
show for dinner. On the knee here Is
where teamster stabbed me with hay
fork for hating him and inquiring the
road to wealth. He thought was jok-
ing, perhaps, but / wasn't. If any man
in this world wants to find that road,
I'm the hyena, and don't you forget it ~
He kicked off the other shoe, held up
the worst-looking foot in America, and
went on:
See that big toe split in twop Man
struck at me with an ak because / asked
his wife If she couldn't lend me square
meal for few days; didn't demand it
nor beg for it, nor try to steal it, mind
you, but merely wanted to borrow it.
That family wasn't on the lend. They
gare me this split toe out and out. You
see how out Of shape this heel is, Ell?
Looks as much like the northwest end
Of a three-year old coal-scuttle as any
thing else, and yet I've seen the dav
when this heel was as nicely rounded
out as Apollo's. went out Of my way
over half mile TO ask a farmer if
shouldn't hoe corn for an hour to pay
for my dinner, but he wasn't an APP
preciative man. He orderd me to dig,
instead Of TO hoe, and don't think
got away fast enough to please him.
lie had an idea that he could better my
time ten seconds by throwing a spade
at me, and it was bad thing for this
heel. Then gaze on this calf-not on
me as a calf, but at the calf of this leg.
See those warts? Well, they amt
warts at all, but each one represents the
exact spot where bird-shot went in to
look for bones. couldn't pick 'em
out, and have thus become a walking
shot-tower. l was climbing fence to
remove two turnips from field in
which tens Of thousands were growing,
when farmers son, waiting for Just
such clothespin to come along, shot
me from fence-corner and laughed as I K
TO lunch on .thistle-blows. =
He struggled out Of his old coat, pull
ed up ragged shirt-sleeve, and blandly
:. Some beautiful scars here, mister.
One night when it was raining cats and
logs crept into cow-shed to spite the
and have quiet hour to call
up my childhood days. 1t was bad
night for cowsheds, and good night
or bloodshed. l hadn't begun to intro
luce myself to the first old cow when
couple Of chaps, probably thinking
meant 10 eat one of the animals alive.
,egan slashing me with corn-cutters,
md these scars will be tombstones
enough for me. If you had bedroom
Up here I'D show you choice collec-
ion Of lunches, ridges, bruises and cuts |
N my back, all received in the line Of I
logs while seeking to allay the pangs Of !
lungcr or get inside Of somebody's old I
luds.-
He put on his coat, showed his feet in !
o his shoes, and observed: Z
!. Well, that's all wanted to say. !
rhe public is selfish and won't apprc- !
late US. can talk as elegant as a q
ord, speak as courteous as Duke,
mile like Senator and bow like man h
INNING for Congress, but it's all \
brown away. The minute open I
.ate the folks call for the dog. the po- :
Ice, the crow-bar. the flat-irons. the !
iiVt--ui 1il0 IA iOAr ObIiti al titit~ vi
irftt, and about the time | strike the 4
tops an earthquake strikes me. That's \
II, sir. Sometime when you get over n
hat cold in the head you might hint \
hat Heaven is big enough for tramps, 3
30. and that any old bones, crusts, d
lckets or boots left on the steps will be \
taken in and cared for n
)ctr0H Free Press. n
A CONVICT in the Gundagai Jail in
.ustralia, undergoing term Of impris- 1
nment for stealing ring, used to gain :
living by travelling from town to town
wing performances in which he offered 3
, swallow any article which his audi 2
nee might select. The ring for the !. !
tealing Of which he had been convicted Y
& had swallowed. and declared he =