The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-06-14
SENSE AND NONSENSE

SENSE AND NONSENSE
i A cREwEb 4AN-the worsted seilsh.
. The Russians are following Sherman,
example in marching through Georgia. !
MODERN marriages, says a contempt;
nry, begin with q court and end with Z
court.
Two THINGS can never be successfully
counterfeited-modesty and common
sense.
EVEN the children of the best families
will get on the wrong track if the switch
is misplaced.
) THE murphy movement is what the
Cincinnati Commercial calls the march ii
the potato bug.
LOOK affair."" he remarked to the
waiter, your coffee is O. K, your hash
Is about correct, but amt your eggs . lit
tie too ripe,"
| WHY don't President MacMahon get a
new shoemaker. If he did 80, he might
mot have so much trouble with the Rights
and Lefts:-Philadelphia Bulletin.
WHEN Burns sighed for the power to
see ourselves as others see rs, he was prob.
ably just anxious to see how his new coat
Get in the back.-Bwrlingto Hasok- Ere.
| AN English lady married, at the age of
eighty, man aged forty, and survived
him; married again, and survived her
second husband. 1t seems to us this was
not fair.-Rochester Democrat.
SOME men can never take joke. There
was an old doctor who, when asked what
was good for mosquitoes, wrote back ::
"How do you suppose can tell unless /
know what ais the mosquitof'
ONE redeeming feature of the circus of
to-day: There are so many lemonade and
ticket and song book peddlers that you
can't hear the clowns stale Jokes nor see
much Of the performing. -Desroit FTes
Pres.
"How SHALL we help ourselves ?" was
the title Of a recent lecture by Boston
lady. with silver spoon, we suppose,
not emitting some of the brown ones on
top, next to the pork.-Cincinnati Com.
nserctGl.
A GREAT deal of sentiment is wasted on
Poland, but when q farmer clears up a
sleeps pasture he isn't apt to leave o
VOLTS nest on one side and a sausage
factory on the other, if he can help it,
Men York 0ranhic.
A PROMINENT divine of New York Citv
recently said that he knew of no civilized
country in the world where it was so diff.
cult to speak out frankly and fully, espe-
cially on politics and religion, exactly
what one thinks and feels, as in the United
States Of America.
As sOOTHERs there are few equal to the
Southern journalist. This is the way one
OF them consoles his subscribers: sowing
to the death of our chief editor there will
be no editorial article on Tuesday, but
look out for q regular ripper on Wednes.
dayr'-St. Louis Republican.
In moment of dependency where do
We look for hope, comfort and support!
10 the woman we love. And where is
she looking all this time? Ten to ono
she is looking around for something to
rouse our energies with. And that's why
we marrv.-4Andreaos' Bazaar.
"WHAT," asks an exchange, "arc the
causes of drunkenness ?" Well, we can't
answer for all of them, but we believe
whisky causes great deal of it; whisky,
sir, rcsOlutely stuck to, will cause about
as large drunk as anything VIC know Of,
although judiciOus mixing up of various
drinks will accelerate matters If man is
in hurry.-Burlington HGnk- Eye.
"YOU couldn't" shouted our irrepressi-
bic, as bachelor visitor finished q eu-
logium on cremation by an expressed wish
that, rather than be cOffined, cribbed,
confined" he might become the subject Of
haven't got any wife!S "That's no mat
ter" growled the Colonel, as he beat
hasty retreat (the Colonel is also not con-
nubiaD, " that's no matter. Plenty of men
would be glad to lend me theirs for the
OCCASION" The Colonel has no card for
our suburban kettledrum next week.
Boston Adoertiser.
An English nobleman had house Dor.
ter who was an enormous eater. Frank"
said he, one day, "tell me how many
loins you could eat" "Ah, my Lord, as
for lOins, not many, five or six at most"
And how many legs of mutton. ?" "Ah,
as for legs of mutton, not many; seven or
eight, perhaps" "And fatted pullets ~
"Ah, as for fatted pullets, my Lord, not
many; not more than q dozen" "And
pigeonss" "Ah, as for pigeons, not
many; perhaps forty-fifty at most-ac-
eording to appetite" "And larkss''
" All, as for that, my Lord-little larks-
forecer, my Lord-foreuer!"
A SHEFFoRD- MOUNTAIN farmer entered
an insurance office, one day this week,
with look on his face which clearly in.
dictated that he appreciated fire. insurance,
and couldn't have policy written on his
property too soon. He accosted the agent
in an anxious manner, and said he guessed
he would have his barns insured. The
agent, thinking he had a good thing,
started with the man to his premises,
five miles out of town. Arriving, the
good mans implicit trust and confidence in
the correct principles and direct advan-
tages of fire insurance were explained by
the fact that about twenty-five of his
neighbors were working Knight and
main" to save his buildings from destruc-
Tbs ssept assSllaed th s.Ejsk5 ,e. ,fabbS
tiser.
The telephone is quickly working out
. practical application. A Boston COM
pany is prepared to furnish telephone
communication between places not over
twenty miles apart. The advantages are
thus set forth: No skilled operator re-
quired; little practice makes anyone
master of the telephone; communication
more rapid; the telephone transmits one
or two hundred words minute, the old
telegraph apparatus averages not more
than twenty; no expense required in its
VPSA0sAOAAS w OossCly uCCuCuS tWO Wl6.
phones connecting two houses may be
leased for twenty dollars per year. The
company keep the instruments in working
order. 1t must be understood that the |
rental mentioned above is for the use of |
the telephone instrument. A telegraph |
line when required will cost from 500 to |
$3.50 per mile.-N. r. Graphie.
The Peruvian Earthquake Of 1865
The Recent Tidal Wave.
WHILE we wait for the details of the |
Peruvian earthquake, and the tidal wave
that destroyed the Town of africa, on the |
10th inst it may be interesting to look |
back at the similar catastrophe that befell |
Peru ON the 18th of August, 1868. The |
center of that shock was about latitude |
II degrees south, and the damage
done in the inland towns was great,
though far less than on the ocean shore.
MOunt Miafi n nuieecent v0lcan0 hocanno