Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-06-27

But seen too Oft familiar with her face,
We first endure, then pity then embrace
It is very rare that Scott and
Pope have been so felicitously con-
founded; nor would any one be-
lieve that the last couplet, design
ed for Vice, could be so ttly APP
piled TO woman.-Ex
Not many women are black
smiths, we learn from the Worces-
ter Press, "but most of them can
shoe a hen"
The Russian soldiers while on
the march do their cooking for
meals, we suppose, on some of
those mountain ranges.-PhiladeI-
phia Bulletin.
The cashier of a bank at Knox
Vile can't tell where the funds Of
the bank went to, but several per-
sons can easily tell where the cash
Ter will go to.
The misfortunes of Mr.. Charles
Stringer show that Philadelphia
people do not willingly allow a man
to put his grandson on hot stove.
New Orleans Picayune.
The average small boy is already
kicking up his heels at the thought
that his fathers overcoat will net
enough to take him safely over the
Fourth of July.-Free Press.
Irish boatman TO timid female)
-"Och, niver mind what they've
been telling ye about the boat.
She do capsize aisy, it's true, but
that's nothing; she rights herself
in a jiffy.-Ex.
Lady: "Tho kale was not done
enough yesterday Cook: Il
know you said so, but there was
four witnesses against yer; for my
mother and sister was here to din
ner, and there's Lizer and me-and
twas done beautifully.'-Punch.
A Kentucky darkey said: give
know'd that mule for free YEAH
an | don't tink de animile wud
hurt a lam, 'cause'- The blank
indicates where the recommends
ton was interrupted and Sambo
forwarded to the other side of the
fence.-EX.
Now does the small boy repair
10 the point south of town to in
dulre in the recreation Of a noon
day bath; and we may soon eX-
pect a vigorous denunciation Of
the shameless practice from the old
lady who owns a leld-glass.-
Brookville Jeffersonian.
Dialogue between the Sultan and
an old officer, privileged by his
age and service: "Sire, ] am ex-
hausted by the labors which my
position exacts of me-" every
well | am going to give you a
place in which you will have moth
ing to do-pay master."-New Or
leans Picayune.
A correspondent writes to ask
why newly-married men are called
Benedicts. The reason, we believe,
is that, in entering on their new
state of life, they are supposed to
give up all the bad bachelor habits
to which they have been addicted.
San Francisco News Letter.
There was only one cigar left in
the box, and there were two young
hopefuls struggling for it. The
first little boy clutched it, but he
said consolingly TO his brother,
"Never mind, Dick, I'll smoke it
till / get sick, and then you can
finish it," And then the heart of
the other little boy was comforted.
Puck.
A miuce-pie sent to Sing Sing
convict was found to contain an in
genious rope ladder. Unless you
oversee the preparing of the mince
meat yourself, you can't always
tell how mince pie will pan ont ;
and a rope ladder is not so apt to
spoil a mans appetite as a half Of a
mouse garnished with tail and
cut bias.-Norristown Heard,
Literary young man at party
-"Miss Jones, have you seen
Crabbes' Tales - Young lady
scornfully; 81 was not aware, sir,
that crabs had tails" Young man,
covered with confusion--"I beg
your pardon, ma'am. / should
have said, read Crabbes' Tales p
Young lady, angrily scornful; "And
Iwas not aware that red crabs had