The Beaufort tribune and Port Royal commercial. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1877-1879, 1877-02-15

a GTOScl d potAifo Dt pNo>~~
ed with note stating: Too much sand
for table use, and not enough for puila-
ing purposes.
The opinion that Weddings day fol-
lows appropriately after Choose day ls
put forth with due diffidence by the Phh'
adelphia Bulletin.
A Boston man committed suicide be-
cause Tilden was elected. Sedahs
mo. man has committed suicide because
Tilden was defeated.
Anew Orleans thief lately sent back
the stolen clothes of an under sized cit,
izen with a note saying that he wouia
woit for his victim to grow.
A Londoner, seeing an advertisements
headed American Steam Safe COM
pany." remarked that he was glad the
Americans had made steam safe COM
pany :,
4 man can't throw water on his front
stoop in freezing weather without g1ylng
rise to the suspicion that he expects q
visit from his mother-in-law or a poor re-
lation.
Judge Hoar once said of "a faW16r =
He has reached the superlative OF life.
At first he sought to get on, and then ne
sought to get honor, and now he Is trying
to get honest"
A young woman in Rochester, n: T.,
has sued for damages a man who kissed
her. A man who can't kiss woman
without damaging her ought to pay Tor
his awkwardness.
Dion Boucicault recently told friend
of his that the whole number OF dramatlc
pieces which he had put upon the stage
is 367, and that they have yielded hum
not far from So, 100000.
The London Telegraph, which claims
to be the daily paper having the largest
circulation in the world, publishes GER
tificate that during the five months end
ing December it printed the vast NUM-
Der of 26,H1, 1916 copies, being daily
average of over 200, 600.
In Scotland it has for q long time been
usual to blazon on mans tombstone the
symbols of his trade. A sugar cone m-
dicates the grave of grocer an ak and
saw, with hammer and nails, occurs on
the grave of a carpenter an awl ana
hammer on that of shoemaker.
About this time farmers are sitting In
the evenings by their comforting hre.
sides, with pitcher of cider, plate OF
apples and pan of nuts beforc-them. In
the interim between their eating a]6Y
drinking they look solemnly upward an
exclaim "What awful hard times J" q
Of the 10000 Chinese in San Frani
cisco, about $50 attend the evening":
mission schools. Three hundred have
ioined churches. Seven hundred are
members of Christian societies and are
studying Christian doctrines. Nearly
600 regularly attend Sunday-school.
"Yes, fun is fun" the old man said, as be
brushed away tear,
And wildly clutched his pantaloons portion
"But putting crooked pins and sich in per-
sons easy chair
Is rather more, swow to gosh, than mortar
man can bear"
Ransalvation, the little boy thought
it was. 1t bothered him, especially as
as he heard is sung very often. And so
he asked his Sunlay-school teacher. ire
mystic word turned out to be part OF the:
line "Glory, honor and salvation. BuS
the lad said he wished they would sing it
palmer.
'"Ulo, Fwed! What en- earth are
you walking about with that beastiy
sausage under your arm for?" Fwed:
Well-aw-the fact is, the othaw day
I saw in the papaws that a fella'd been
sent to the workhouse-aw-because ned
cot no visible means of subsistence.
Put me in a regular blue funk, you
know So I got this sausage to protect
myself"
An old German farmer in Iowa had his
barn. which was destroyed by fire, ill-
sured for $500. The company sald ne
could accept 5000 or they would build
him new barn. When the life iGsur-
ance agent came around the German
facetiously informed him that he would
not have the life of his wife insured, as
the company, in the event OF her death,
might want him to take some wlthered
old Dutch woman.
Apples being 80 abundant this season,
the sheep may be treated to feed once
| n week. There are none>of our domestic,
animals who feel the change from green
food to dry so sensibly as the sheep, and
they need feed of turnips, apples, cab
bage or something of that kind quite
often. This prevents costiveness on
stretches, an ailment common to sheep
in this country but unknown IN Great
Britain, where turnips are fed daily.
Sailing sheep is quite as important in the
winter season SIS in any other. Indeed,
all animals should have access to salt
daily.
A church in Hanover, Ill, played a
pleasant little joke cn its pastor. They
told him he had better take a holiday for
two or. three weeks, and, like a sensible
man. he took it, and jouTneyed INTO far
country. When he came back he found
the old pulpit gone, and delightfully."-
fashioned new one in its place. His
elders greeted him with roll OF "sott
money!" more than sufficient to cover all
the expense of his iaunt. This way OF
treating a minister is better than the
donation party nuisance, which generally
brings the suffering pastor lot OF mis-
cellaneous rubbish which he can neither
use, sell nor give away.