The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-05-03
An Hour at the Central Police Sta
tiOn.

Well, if there is anything do like
it is spring." said Bijah, as he busted
one of the rugs against the hydrant.
Ny cat froze to death last night, and
there was frost on my ears when woke
up this morning, but still there is some
thing in the look of things that tells me
we are close up to decent weather."
You don't see any buds or leaves on
the hydrant de your innocently asked
an innocently-looking boy.
''No, sir, don't; but see sassy boy.
When you have torn up the soil, and
hoed, and planted, and reaped, and
moved, and been to Mexico and the
Centennial, you will begin to think you
know something. What do you know
about communing with Nature! What
glories do you see in the rising sun ?
What do you think when the sun fades
away into the golden dimness of no
where ?'
"I think it's about time for dad to come
home from the wood yard" softly an
awered the lad.
Bijah looked long at him, gave the rug
another shake, and went in, saying:
ooh! Nature, how grand are your
works, particularly the icicles and mud
holes"
IN THE WAR.
When the police escorted William
Richards tothe hanging gardens for dis
turbing the peace with his mouth he
didn't limp in the slightest. When he
came out for regimental inspection he
limped horribly. He limped on both
legs, had a stiff neck, and something allied
one arm. His face wore an expression to
match, and most any judge would have
given him dollar and sent him to the
depot in hack.
ooh, why do you limp, and why is
your face all puckered up?' asked his
Honor as he looked over the desk.
"Shot clean to pieces in the war;"
sighed William.
At first Bull Run they shot him through,
AT Fair Oaks he wounded;
At Fredericksburg they sabered him,
| At Richmond he pounded.
| They shot and shot, and crippled him,
| And filled him full of lead;
| And it was quite miraculous
They didn't kill him dead.
You saw service, then, did you?"
did, sir"
"Killed three or four hundred men, I
suppose2'
eyes, sir-twice that number"
"Talked 'em to death, Isuppose e?" OBJ
served the court.
"No, sir, didn't. went right in to
kill, and / killed. Pm wounded in seven
places"
"You can't hardly get around, and
have no money or friends, and you don't
draw a pension"
"No, 1 don't draw one. didn't feel as
if I ought to take Uncle Sans money
till times get easier"
"Well, William, Pll send you up to
brigade headquarters on sixty day fur
Tough. Transportation will be furnished
from the door,"
Il don't want to go. There's some
drive about that" remarked William.
eyes; drive of mile or so in our
ambulance. Goodbye, William, and
don't forget to limp as you walk off,"
az won't limp now, just to spite youp'
muttered William, and he didn't.
SOMEBODY'S COUSIN.
George Holt, aged thirty-four, and
having a heap of meekness in his face,
explained his position as follows:
You see don't live in town. live
way off in Mitchell County, Indiana, and
came here to look for my cousin"
"Ah, ha! And what is the sex of your
ceusin?" asked the court.
ashes female, sir, and though
. know she's here, I have forgotten the
street. She's working here, for some
body, and was going to take her home
"Well, go on with your sad exper
, , ience," said his Honor, as the man paused
! "Well, was walking round last nigh
to see if I couldn't meet Sarah on thu
street. I met big fellow up here, O
down there, or somewhere around, ant
he borrowed some tobacco, and asked m,
name, and was so kind that told hin
who 1 was looking after. He chuckle,
!, = and grinned and laughed and said h
l. would take me to Sarah on bee-line.
e Sad-very sad, but keep back you
y tears and talk away" sighed the Court
= Well, sir. that great big demon too
Is me into a woodward, choked me till
~ couldn't holler, and would have robbie
y me if some men hadn't come along,
" ~ run out, and I suppose I yelled, an
Ne ~ suppose the officer thought I We
u drunk, and I suppose I was brought hel
K and locked up"
n Yes, that's about it and near as
at can find out. 1 shall let you 60, hopin
" the experience may warn you to bewa
he ofsmiling strangers. How are you goir
" ~ to find Sarah?"
nv ."Pll be hanged if 1 know" unused tt
=. prisoner"
no "Pll tell you how. Go up to tt
,rs Soldiers Monument and take a positit
ne near one of those chaps who is selli1
diamond pins for forty cents and who
sets of jewelry for a quarter. Sarah W
ell appear sooner or later. She's bound
mt hear of it, and she'll ache to decors
'as herself. If she's got dollar, or C
fly borrow one, she won't rest till she g,
ng geously fetooned with cheap jewelry.' y
Tsp "I remember that Sarah alwa
ok jumped for pins and earrings and go OF
a replied the man, and he went out of t
IN station chewing sweet-fag root and fe
ny ing as if he had been talking with
ler father-in-law.
ne' Bijah called attention to the f.
'A that no respectable citizen would
iei dead dog lie in front of his no,
no over six weeks, and then adjourned I
i've court.
gh- -
all COLONEL JOHN w. DIX, a son of 7
ece Governor Dix, died at the home of
to father in New York city recently.