The daily gazette., 1877-02-17
R0BINSON'S LAST.
BYO. a W.

N.||
We had genus, named Robinson,
down at our seaport Of Perrywinkleton.
He was always inyenting things, and
the Mayor and Corporation believed in
him, because 1t gave them jobs, 't ~ l'' p,
Our Mayor was timber merchant; so
Robinson's proposal for a wooden pier
was accepted, the pier was built, and
washed away. 90 ''-''i .''
Robinson's idea for an esplanade was
taken up because Councillor Pfawnham
owned the stone quarry; and the esplan-
ade was made, and not washed away. be-
cause 1t died natural death, and was
buried four feet deep--in sand. eyt .gp'.
Robinson's last was q pavement.
He had seen asphalte paving In London
and seen itlaid; 50, he came down, red hot
proposed new pavement for High street
Of an aspbalte of his own invention, and
as he artfully contrived q job out Of IL for
tthe Mayor and the whole town council
the plan was carried unanimously, and
the next week High street became chao-.
ltic. a.. - ,f,s o1na1O 10 ella vii,s.a5 j..
That street was in, ruins for two
months, during which it was picked up
rammed down, sifted, concreted, wetted,
dried, smoothed, froned, omangled5 and
then 1t was ready for Robinsoffs patent
hydro-carbo-galva -terro- ligDo adamar-
to--unabrado-bitumious---asphaltic--pi pitch
paving. f@.E iiiitR l19.7ii slc',-n', D 2,
| 1t was a long name, and it took a long
time TO lay it down. 4 io WolaR m'H 15gl
For weeks the town was fall of horrl-
BILE black smoke. All the blacks in Lon
don seemed to have come down to the
seaside for change, and were always
lsettling on the ladies', noses, when they
did not prefer clean collars. Z r.,5no i,a,
| There were ten great cauldrons in
High street, and in these ten cauldrons
SO many black demons were, always busy
at work cooking Robinson's patent hyro-
carbo- galvanic- terro-ligno- -admanto-Ina
anto- o-bituminous-asphal paving,
Great fires were always burning under
meath, smoke rose in clouds, and the
black demons kept slowly, breaking up
and putting in bits of something very
nasty, which smelt nastier, and stirring
il up with big spoons; and when it was
done, ladling 1t out like soup into big
pots, which other men carried between
them, and made mess with in the road.
For they were just like so many. dirty
Ichildren, making black puddings and
mud pies in the gutters-pOuring out the
nasty stuff, and patting it down, and
smoothing it, till the people in the town
began to use naughty words: and one
wicked man went SO far as to say that
he wished Robinson was boiled in his
Ipatent- -bydro-carbo-g -galvanic-terror-ligno
adamant0--unabrad0 rad0-bituminous--asphal'
tic pitch. 'ht slH'
That man did not die-choked by his
own words-but there can be little
doubt about his ultimate fate.
At last the street was declared paved
and the new paving was opened by the
Mayor and Corporation, who walked ovel
1t In their long, fur-trimmed gowns, car
rying Hands, and preceded by the town
crier and beadle without his bell.
Somebody said 'sHoorayW when they
got to the end of the long, black, shining
street, and then half dozen dirty littl,
boys ran across, in spite of the two bor
, ough policemen, and turned wheels, a.
! they do beside carriages going to thu
, Derby. After which the volunteer ban(
/ played, "God Save the Queen" withou
, the drum and trombone-for the drum
had got the toothache, and the trombone
who was head porter at the railwa,
J station, couldn't get half-holiday on &C
B count of the influx of visitors who ha,
: come to see Robinson's patent hydro-car
: bo-galvanic-terro-lig ligno- adamanto-unabr
do-bituminous-asph sphaltic-pitch paving.
d While the weather remained cold Rob
inson's paving did well enough; but il
5 the spring it began to soften, and b
9 the time summer came it was like doug
4 excepting that when it got hold OF any
thing it held on like grim death. .
A man would attempt to walk acros
it, and would sink in; then he woul
: find that he could not move either LEG
!, Then he would cry for help, and some
: body would push plank out to him, an
2 he would struggle out of his boots an
walk ashore. s....r-
: Miss Mary Ann Washington had a sa
!, accident there. for she came to grief &C
: ing across. People warned her that
: was not safe; but she would not believ
e it, and went laughing across to try-for
" " you tell a woman thing is not safe SD
Is is sure to want to try it.. II. Ya {
/ Well, she had not taken four steps bt
e fore she squeaked, and then she squallet
- for her high heels had stuck fast, and hi
l. tight dress so hampered her that she weI
3 down backward, sank in, and lay thel
Il calling for help, like bas-ralief come
oI life on a marble temple.
d Of course all the young fellows in Pc
= rywinkleton came to help her, for MAJ
,r Ann was very pretty; but how to get h
out they did not know. , - l
y 1t was easy enough as far as her heat
/ for sbe had got on fashionable Ulste
a and they had only to unbutton it and ri
re up her boots but there was her hair.
rel Now, if that lady had made an affiday
e. every day in the week that she did n
e. wear false hair, no one would have +
lieved her; but when they came to 6
: her out of the asphalte, there was Il
test. 1t was, alas, real as real, and thu
had to take pair of scissors and cut
all close to her head before they co,t
get her free; and when they did Ma
Mt Ann was sight. .rr
s, There were twenty-four young m,
Id affectionate to Mary Ann before that q
y