Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1877-01-06

FACETIE.

All men are not homeless, but some
are home less than others
innocent blush more frequently
than the guilty; the tace OF the latter Is
not 50 easily red.
San Francisco Chronicle: The girls
who bet kisses that Tilden would be
elected, are growing impat!-nt.
The story about IiIden and Butler
brings back iorciby the advice of the
sage, "Samlvel. beware Of ridders."
An Atlanta girl carried out the theory
OF .'sqGatter soverciguty,r by sitting on
her lovers hat, and keeping him three
hour, over time
The Norwich Bulletin says: Nothing
pleases II conscientious bachelor so much
rs to dine with married friend and see
the baby put his foot in the gravy.
She was plump and beautiful. and he
was "l!dir fond OF her. She hated him
intensely but. wnman-like, she strove
10 capture him. He was a--fea!
The southern girl is quite tropical in
her affections. An Atlanta maid says
She would sooner be black mbazine
band on her adored ones hat than to
live without him.
Bayard Taylor says: ut is a wither-
ing commentary upon our modern COS
tune that no sculptors have dared. or
| ever will dare, TO model statue wear
ing s,ove-pipe hat"
Sam-..Well, son, what's de news TO.
day?" Tom-'.De bulletin board saws
Mister Hayes IS elected by one vote"
! sam by les one vote Good Lord,
{ l,,,
he hadn't, Mister Hayes would have got
! lett shuah.'
| What dld the Puritans come TO this
/ conntry for" asked a Massachusetts,
teacher of the class in American history.
! To worship their own way and make
; other people do the same was the
reply.
| a hundred years ago, when you called
: on 4 girl, Sic. kissed you good bye. Now
il YOU suggest anything Of the sort, her
father calls you into the library, and
asks YOU what You are worth. Are we
! 3 nation? And is this progress?
We've suspected for some time past
! that measures would have to be taken TO
! check the alarmingiy rapid growth of
/ the Smith family. And. sure enough,
Il Pennsylvania man exhibited at the
centennial Smith roller and crusher."
\ Young lady visiting s store was
I looking AT Il music box that had Just
ceased playing. Wishing to hear it
again. she attempted to start it. "Oh,
pshaw," she said lit won't 60 for me- >
One Of the proprietors, overhearing tho
remark, stepped up and said: II wish
was i music hoN-l'd go tor YOU"
\ person who was looking ut house
in Newburyport, said he couldn't afford
to pay SO much rent. well. look at
the neighborhood. replied the woman.
You can borrow iiat-ironS next door,
coffee and tea across the street, and
there's big pile OF wood belonging to
the school house right across the alley"
The modern city schoolgirl goes
along with n big tilter. hustle, striped
hose. hnmp-backod, carrying thirty-one
different books, three states, tour copy
books. bottle of ink, pocket full OF pen
cils and pens. 81 worth OF pinchback
iewelrv. 4 mOuthinl OF chewing gum
and thirteen red streamers dangling Al
ter her.
"Oh, mamma. that's Capt. Jones'
knock know he has come to ask me
th De MS vile. ven, uIN ucai, YOU
must accept HIM" "But hate him so. -
. Hate him 50. Hate him3 So do l.
so much that intend to be his mother
t in-law. Revenge is sweet, especially
, to women.
An elderly darkev was inquiring of a
,liceman if he knew anything of his
sou Pete. The policeman replied that
there was young darkey in the lookup.
for breaking up q prayermeeting with
) An Ak handle. Oats him." exclaimed
the everjoyed parent. He told me he
was gwiue to muse hisself.'
; We ask honest republicans to contrast
the action Of their party in Florida with
that OF the democratic congressional
, committee in South Carolina, who, al