Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-05-18
WHY SHE NEVER MARRIED.
Aunt Sany's story.

Us why you never got married. I 1ou
know you said once that when you
were a girl you were engaged to a
minister, and promised you would
tell us about it sometime. Now,
Aunt, please do"
"Well, if l ever did see such girls
in my born days. It's tease, tease,
from morning till night; you must
know all about everything you
haven't no business to know any
thing about. Such inquisitive. pes
tiferous critters you are! When l
was young, girls were different, they
minded their own business, and
didn't go sailing around with a
whole string of beaux, getting their
heads filled with all kinds of non
sense. l never dared to ask my
aunts, married or single, about any
of their affairs. Pretty mess I'd
have got in if | had. When they
offered to tell me anything of their
own accord, l kept my mouth shut
and listened. Everything is different
nowadays; young folks have no
respect for their elders. But as |
see l am not going to have any peace
till l do tell You, why just listen,
and don't let me hear a word out of
one of your mouths till l get
through"
''That's right, Aunt Sally, go right
ahead, do, and we will keep perfect
ly still"
"Well, you see when 1 was seven
teen years old, l was living in Utica,
in the State of New York. Though
l say it myself, l was quite a good
looking girl, then, and had several
beaux. The one that took my fancy
most was a young minister, a very
promising young man, and remark
ably pIOus andsteady. He thought
a good deal of me, and l kind of
took fancy to him, and things ran
on until we were engaged. One
evening he came to- remember it
as well as if it were only yesterday;
when he came into the parlor where
| was alone, he came up to me-but
now, pshaw! girls, don't like to tell
the rest"
"Oh, Aunt Sally, for mercy's sake
don't stop; tell us what he did"
sWell, as I said, he came up to
me and put his arms around me, and
rather hugged me; it was a long
time ago, and l don't know but l
might have hugged him back a lit
tie. Then I felt-but Just now clear
out, every one of you; shan't tell
you any more" "
Goodness, gracious, now, Aunt
Sally; tell us how you felt; didn't
you feel good? And what did he do
next?'
"Oh, such torments as you are! l
was like any other girl, and pretty
soon l pretended to be mad about it,
and pushed him away, though l
wasn't mad a bit. You must know
that the house where l lived was on
one Of the back streets of the town.
There were glass doors in the parlor
which opened right out over the
street and no balcony nor anything
of the kind in front of the house.
As it was in the summer season
these doors were open and the shut
ters drawn to. l stepped back a
little from him, and when he edged
up close l pushed him back again.
| pushed harder than | intended to,
and don't you think, girls, the poor
fellow lost his balance and fell
through one of the doors into the
street. Yes, it's so. As he fell I
gave a scream and caught him-but
l declare l won't tell anything more.
Pm going to leave the room"
"No, no, Aunt Sally. How did
you catch him? Did it hurt him
much?"
"Well, if I must, I must. He fell
head first, and as he was going
through | caught him by the legs Of
his trOwsers. l held on for a minute
and tried to pull him back, but his
suspenders gave way, and the poor
young man fell clear out of his pan
falcons into whole parcel of ladies
and gentlemen passing along the
street"
"Oh, Aunty, Aunty, Lordy, ,Lordyw
"There, shafts right, squall and
giggle as much as you like. Girls
that can't bear little thing like
that without tearing around the
room and he-he-ing in such a way,
don't know enough to come in when
it rains. A nice time the man who
marries one of you will have, won't
hep Catch me telling you anything
again.
"But, Aunt Sally, what became of
him? Did you ever see him againG"
"No; the moment he touched the
ground he got up and left that place
in terrible hurry. l tell you it
was a sight to be remembered to see
how that man did run. Father hap
pened TO be coming up the street at
the time, and he said he never saw
anything to equal it in his whole
l;Fa I baard otharq SOW that he did