The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-06-28
HUMOROUS.

An exchange asks, I'll there rs a
place for everything, where is the
place for a boilY' On somebody
else.
The ages Of mystery a
woman's age, and the percentage Of
an attorney when he collects n bill
for you.
There are a great many artists in
the departments at Washington who
are mostly engaged in drawing
their pay.
Heads of families should procure
them a telephone. BY the aid OF
that inetrum0nt you eau always
tel eph-oNE is on your front gate.
When one comes TO the conclu-
sion that a community cant live
without him; the community had
better try the experiment.
New York Herald: There are
nine things that will make man
mad, but one is enough when his
wife tells him he cant have. any
dinner because she couldn't get the
h-boiler Off the stove in time.
A German editor remarks that in
America thieves are so scarce that
rewards are offered for them He
might have added though, that It's
not until after the reward is offered
that they make themselves scarce.
A Texas granger who believes in
the doctrine of evolution contends
that the huge buffalo which roams
the green prairies OF his State is
the legitimate developement and
outgrowth OF the horned frog, spec
linens of which are still TO be found
in that region.
81 vote with the noes exclaimed
an excited individual at a school
meeting. Now he had a wonderful
large proboscis and it was rather
cruel for a wag 10 answer, THAT
nose certainly makes a majority"
A method has been discovered
by which watermelons may be pre-
served during the whole winter; and
hereafter Chicago girls will have
something large enough and round
enough by which they can darn the
heels of their stockings neatly with
out any trouble.
They have bank in Deadwood.
The paying teller wears a red shirt
and sits with his boots upon the
counter, and the President, wher
he isn't cutting OF his coupons with
n bowie knife, amusos himself with
draw poker with a director or two
in the back room, using the banks
funds in the pool.
A commercial traveller handed n
merchant on whom he had called, a
portrait Of his bctrothed instead Of
his business card, saying that he
represented that establishment-
The merchant examined IL careful
ly, remarked that it was a fine es
adjustment, and returned IT 30 the
astonished and blushing traveller,
with hope that he would soon be
admitted into partnership.
A dandy of twenty six having
been termed an cold bachelor" adj
pealed TO an elderly gentleman TO de-
eide whether he should be called
old or not, giving his age as "twenty
six" Said the elderly gentleman:
alt is owing TO how you take
it. Now, for a man, it is young
enough; but for a goose, IL is rather
old"
81 tell you, sir" said Dr.--ono
morning TO the village apo!heca-
ry, 81 tell you. sir, the Uoz popui
should not-must not be disregard
ed" "What, doctor!' exclaimed
the apothecary, rubbing bis hands,
"You don't say that's broken out in
town, too, has itY Lord help u.s.
what unhealthy times these arer'
The other day a boy started to
carry home a yellow jackets nest TO
tic 10 the dogs tail 10 have some
fun. He dIn't get the nest all the
way home, as il became so heavy he
couldn't carry it, but lac succeeded
in coaxing most Of the yellow
jackets 10 accompany him the
whole distance, and they supplied
him with 50 much amusement that
he hasn't once thought Of fun or
the dog since, aud doesn't think he
ever will.
A minister was riding through a
section OF the State Of south Caro-
lima, where custom forbade inn
keepers 20 take pay from the clergy
who stayed with them. The minis
ter in question took supper without
prayer and ate his breakfast with
ont prayer or grace and was about
10 take departure when miae host
presented his bill "Ah, sir, said
he, am clergyman" THAT may
be" responded Boniface; "But you
came here, smoked like a sinner,
and ate and drank like sinner, and
slept like a sinner aud aow, sir,
YOU shall pay like n sinner"
The seventeenth annual meeting