St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1877-08-31

tickets have no reserved seats attached
and as of course no gentleman is going
to take lady to the theatre and make
her stand through five-act play, the
holder invariably goes to the box office
and gets reserved seats paying therefor
prices varying with location. The bait
takes so well that the large house is
crowded every night and the ingenious
proprietor is hugging himself for his
smartness. | rehearse the little tale as
hint for your local managers.
At the remaining theatres the China
man holds undisputed sway. He is also
getting to be an object of attention in
other relations than those of the mimic
stage. about a dozen of him were up
this week before the U. S. Commissioner
for selling unslamped cigars. No de-
scriptiOn could convey an idea of the
blandness and childlikeness of their
yellow faces when arraigned to answer.
1t seemed as if butter wouldn't melt in
their mouths when they indicated that
they understood nothing of the charge
or of the language, nor when, finding
that that wouldn't work, they set up
the somewhat startling defense that
their cigars being entir " made of cab
bage leaves, did not come under the
tobacco laws. Altogether, they proved
too much for the Commissioner who,
unable to make anything of them, finally
discharged the whole lot after Il severe
reprimand which of course rolled off
them like water off a ducks back.
They are by no means such fools as
they look, these serene, wooden-shOed
rascals. Not long ago, one of them,
whom will call Ali Sam, procured from
another, who shall be designated us All
Ling, about $3.50 in money, which the
obIiging All Sam told his compatriot
ought to be deposited to the latters
credit. So the two went together and
made the deposit taking Il receipt for
it in ALI Ling's name. This receipt All
Sam retained saying that he would keep
it safe till All Ling should want it.
Next day the pertidiOus Sam returned
to the place of deposit alone, assumed
the identity of All Ling, produced the
receipt and said he wanted his money.
One of these heathens looks so much
like all the rest that the cashier, natural
ly suspecting nothing, counted out the
Sl2O, but said he must have the sigma
ture of All Ling to the receipt. Sam
readily acceded to this, and made on
the paper tea chest character which
he assured the contiding stamp-slinger
was ASiatic fol that name. Shortly af-
terward the genuine All Ling discover
ed the ways that were dark OF his be-
nghted brother and tore his pigtail in
an equal mixture of wrath and anguish.
He rushed to the cashier, explained the
circumstances and received the advice
to have All Sam arrested for forging his
name TO the receipt. This counsel was
acted upon and Sam WAS hauled before
the bar of Justice. He was observed to
smile sweetly when the charge was pre-
ferred, but said nothing. The cashier
excitedly produced the receipt, and
showed it to All Ling for Identification.
No sooner had the latter fixed his SLAM
tindicular gaze upon the signature than
he gave vent to what was probably Il
MOngolian eXpletive, and began to
spuiter to the interpreter, who at once
announced the unexpected development
that the signature was not All Ling but
All Sam. OF coulse the latter had COM
mitted no forgery in signing his own
name, and therefore, to the dense be
Nilderment aud Indignation of the
wronged All Ling, the charge was dis
missed. The willy Sam, who through
out had sat with the same half-closed
eyes and innocent smile, glided peace
fully out, whispering softly lis he went,
"Melican man he tinkee he damsmartee
alice same Chiny man teachee he one
tree four niece trick" RADIX.