The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-07-12
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

SENSE AND NONSENSE.
ALWAYS speak we'll Of the dead. and
once in while good word of the living,
If you have the time.
In late style of marriage announce.
ments only the names Of the bride and
clergyman appear. As civilization ad-
vances, the groom becomes OF less and
and less importance on such occasions.
An aged Chicago lady is glad there has
been law made against "pools." She
says that pools are nasty and unhealthy
things to have around, anyhow, and, be-
side. they propagate mosquitoes.
EIGHT HUNDRED New Jersey cows were
the other day found in one grand pen,
each one with sore feet under her and dis
tillery Stop before her. They furnish
"pure country milk" for New York.
The Baltimore man who hanged him
self because his wife devoted so much of
her time to decorating the grave of her
first husband has his revenge. The woman
has two graves to decorate now and no
time to look for third husband.
TIE following epigram was written on
Mr.. Wildwood, who was much given to
exaggeration:
You double each story you tell,
You double each sight that you see;
Your names double u double
Double double d.
UNTO the good little boy shall he given
the picnic ticket, but the wicked son shall
recline on his mothers knee. Verify, in
the day when she waxeth it to him with
her slipper his heart will be full of re.
pentance, and his bowling shall disturb
the neighbors.-Rome IN. ~ Sentinel.
YOU'VE LADY" It was a stylish din.
ner!" Learned Uncle" Stylish! are you
using the word correctly? DO you know
the derivation of stylish?" Young lady
-" Certainly, from sly, a pig-pen, and
lish, the noise made by the hO-animals
when eating" Learned uncle in despair.
THIS is the season when newly married
couples make their appearance at the
watering place hotels, languishing ON a
four dollars-a-day diet for one week pre-
cisely, and then 60 home to the realities
of cOrn-beef and cabbage for the balance
of their natural lives.-N. Y. Commercial
Aduertiser.
SAYs the Rochester Union. IA young
man who was detected in the enjoyment
of an innocent filtration with one of the
scholars of the Packer Female Seminary,
at Brooklyn, has been indicted by the
Grand Jury. The course of true love
never did run smooth, but this is the first
instance where counting was considered
criminal"
ON the out going steamers, conversation
is often of q cosmopolitan nature. A Eos-
ton merchant on recent trip was cOnsid-
erably impressed by the earnestness of a
German passenger. "America," said the
returning TeutOn, "is der best cOundry
In der world. hat lived dere more as
den years, and failed vive dimes, and now
goes home to lif NIT fortune and my
vamilyr'
The decision of the Supreme Court of the
United States that the Government cannot
receive requests of real estate, comes lust
in time to prevent the turning over to the
Nation of immense tracts of landed prop.
crty. Had the decision been otherwise,
there are thousands, no doubt, who would
bcqueath all their real estate to the Gov
eminent, to save their heirs the burden of
taxatiOn.-Dstroit Free Press.
A MAN on West Hill has brought peace
into his family circle forever. Last week
he moved into new house, containing d
bay window and twenty three closets, and
he Bought his wife nine miles of clothes
line, a cord of clothes line props, and ONT
hundred and twenty four dozen clothes.
pins. And the angels just come down and
sit around on the side fence and envy that
woman's perfect happiness. Burlington
Hark-Eye.
THE other day traveller stopping it
Gardner, Me-, got up in the morning aw.
fully thirsty, and, approaching the land
| lord, said he must have drink of cider
He was assured he could not buy it in the
city. "Can get it by the gallon, CAM
| II" he said. He was told he could. Sc
he went up to store and inquired if they
had any cider to "sell by the gallon .
He was told they had. He wanted to try
it, and drew a pint dipper full and drank
it. He said he "thought it was too hare
for mince pies" and threw a dime on the
counter and left.
| THE ignorance of some of our mos
wealthy citizens is absolutely humiliating
A man who pays taxes on any quantity vi
real estate stopped us yesterday and asked
to change his Euening Herald to Horn.
Eng Herald. " But our paper only appears
in the evening"" we exclaimed. "Al
| right! I've been friend of the paper fol
twenty years; but that settles it. If you
haven't got accommodation enough tC
print me my copy in the morning, you are
| not live newspaper man, and can't keep
up with railroads, and progress, and sichr'
and he went off on his Carson antonio
| Herald.
IT is not curses alone that come home
to roOst; blessings frequently act in the
same way. The friends of Staten Island
ferry Captain pres cnted him recently with
an elegant gold watch, in token of his
prOmptness and geniality. Touched by
the kindness of his friends, the Captain
tJld them that the boat thereafter should
run upon the time which they had so mu.
nificently provided. He began the very
next morning to carry out his promise,
and in doing so stalt.d three minutes in
advance of the town time, leaving his
generous friends to wait for the next boat
The next time they give watch to fer
ry Captain they will have it regulated and
duly set.
| WHEN the oxyhylrogcn microscope was
first exhibited in Edinburgh, a pool
woman whose riches would never hinder
her ascent to the Kingdom above, took her
seat in the lccture-rOOm where the won
ders of the instrument were shown, and
which were for the first time to meet heI
sight. A piece Of lace was magnified into
q salmon-net, flea was metamorphosed
into an elephant, and other like marvel.
were performed before the eyes of the
venerable dame, who sat in silent aston.
ishment, staring Open-mouthed at tn,
disk. But when at length milliner's nee
die was transformed into poplar tree
and confronted her with its huge eye, sh,
could hold inn no longer. !" My good
ness!'' she exclaimed, q camel could g.
through that! There's some hope for tn,
rich folks yet"
Old Greek Athletics.