davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1877-03-08
Model Advertisements.

Two young women want washing.
''Teeth extracted with great pains
"Babies taken and finished in ten min
utes by country photographer"
And what does this mean?
Business chance-To be opposed Of
genuine fried fish business at the West
End"
Does the genuineness apply to the fish,
the business, or to the way in which they
are fried
And ones mind gets hopelessly dazed
over the advertisement offering a large re-
ward for GA large Spanish blue gentle
mans cloak lost in the neighborhood of the
market"
There are others deliciously inconse-
quent, like the advertisement of run
away which furnished this valuable hint
for Identification
cage is not precisely known, but looks
older than he is
Or the notice a shoemaker put on his
door
''Shall be back in ten days from the time
you see this shingle"
Some, however, leave no loophole for
doubt:
Babies, after having taken one bottle
of my soothing syrup, will never cry any
more"
And an editor, putting air-tight cof1ins,
said
"No person having one tried one of
these air-tight coifins will never use any
Others"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1877-03-08
EIGHT More as DWelVe.

A farmer let his lands to an oil company
last spring, on condition of receiving one
eighth of the oil produced. The well
proved to be pretty good one, and-the
farmer began to think that the oil men
should give him better chance, and VEN
tured to tell them so. They asked him
what he wanted He said they ought to
give him one-twelfth. The agreement was
finally made, with the understanding that
the farmer was not to tell any one. All
went smooth until the next division day
came, when friend was early at hand
to see how much better he would be off un-
der the new bargain. Eleven barrels were
rolled to one side of the oil men, and one
for him. This did not suit him. "How's
dish p says he. 81 think [ was to get
more as before. BY jinks you make mis-
take p The matters were explained to
him, that he formerly got one barrel of
every eight, but it was his own proposition
to only take one of every twelve. This
revelation took him aback. He scratched
his head, looked cross, and relieved his
swelling breast of feelings of selfreproach
by Indignantly remarking; "Well, dat ish
de first time as ever l know'd eight was
more as dwelve"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1877-03-08

An old darkey of 81, tired of longer lead
ing life ofsingle blessedness, hobbled up to
the marriage license clerks desk the other
day, and said "Is dis whar yer gifts der
lisums fer ter marry ?" "This is the place. -
Glow much is dey apiece Seventy five
cents" ''Lord, honey, | isn't got dat much
money 'Then | can't let you have Ii
cense." "Say, boss, times is hard, an dis
case is pressin. Couldn't yer trust me for
a couple of weeks till de white wash season
commence p "No, sir; we don't do a
credit at this desk 'Jist for a day or
two ?" "Nary day." was the heartless re-
joinder, and the poor old darkey hobbled
away. Yesterday he again knocked at the
outposts of Hymens temple with the ne
cessary 70 cents tied up in the corner of a
red bandana handkerchief "Dese is
monsos hard times, boss, an eff my credit
wasn't pooty good I'd never been able to
hev borred all dis heah money ter wonst. ;"
The license was made out in due form and
handed to him, and then the clerk said :
of that's all the money you have got how
are you going to support your wife =
"Well, de fact am dat de lady am got
room all. furnished nice, an well just
mosey long till diss election trubble is
ober, am den der'll be powahful site of
whitewashing to be done dis spring Yes,
indeed, honey, times is gwan to be red hot
arter awhile. - Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1877-03-08

A German looked up at the sky, and re-
marked Il guess leedle it will rain
somedime pooty queek." "Yees do, eh p
rep!ied an Irishman "What business have
yees too purtend to know about Ameriken
weather, ye furriner p
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1877-03-08

"The sentence of the Court is" said
Judge Porter, a popular Irish magistrate,
to notorious drunkard, ''that you be
confined in Jail for the longest period the
law will allow and | hope you will spend
the time in cursing whisky" ''Be labers,
| will, and Porter, too, was the answer.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1877-03-08

A Western lawyer who was defending
man on trial for wife murder, sought for
some euphonious and innocent phrase with
which to describe his clients crime, and
finally said ''lIe winnownd her into
Paradise with fence rail-
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1877-03-08

'Dare's gwine to be wah, remarked a
colored citizen, an' all We niggahs mout
jess will git ready for active business.
(which side shall we take ? asked one of
his harrers, You niggahs can take jes
what side yer please Use gwine to take
de Canada side.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1877-03-08

A Yankee in trance, who was supposed
to be dead, was laid on ice, but he awoke
and startled his watchers by yelling, "Why
don't you keep up better fre?"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1877-03-08
7 III. SKULL, NJ. Id.

second door below Burnett House. Residence
end Apnr west of Hicksitc Quaker Church. OGice
houF> to a m, l to } p. m, t to p IN.
Eiay p, lS76-tf
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1877-03-08

A New Jersey woman is so cleanly that
she uses two rolling pins, one for the pie
crust and the other for her husband head
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1877-03-08
HR. ". T.. PECK,
II Surgeon Dentist.

Of.n in Jas EiingcrS new building. nearly opposite
th, S..pISaurI Bank. Gas administered for cXtactiug
Nh.u sired.
stroud burg. Pa Ian. 6, '1G-tf.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1877-03-08
nR. :. MILLER,
~ Physician and Surgeon,
STROUDSBURG, PA.

OTcc formerly occupied by DR.. Seip. Residence with
7 r Miller, one door below the JetfcrSonian Office
O.R.n hours, 10 9, II to and to 9.
NAY II, 1S76.-tt
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1877-03-08
DR.. j. l. & II T z,
SURGEON { MECHANICAL DENTIST.

still has his Office Main street in the second story
OF DR.. WatonS brick building nearly opposite the
AroudSburg House and he aterS himself that by egi-
Teen practice and the most earnest and
careful attention TO all matters pertaining To his pro-
i-sSon that hr Is fully able perform all operations
In the dental line in the most careful and kiful man
ner
Special attention given saving the Natural Teeth;
SS1 n the insertion of Artificial Teeth Rubber,
coh Silver or Continuous Gums and perfect hts III all
eases insured.
Most persons know the great folly and danger of en-
trusting heir work to the inexperienced to those lv-
ing at a distance April 13, 1S74-tf
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1877-03-08
VOL. 81.
Published by Theodore Sch0ch.

TrruS-TwO dollars year in advance-and If not
Maid before the end Of the year. two dollars and fifty
cents will he charged
sE- No paper discontinued until all arrearages are
aid except at the option of the Editor.
r- Advertisements of one square of feight lnes or
r one or three insertions 81 So Each additional in
.rtion 80 cents Longer ones in proportion.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1877-03-08
nR. NATHANIEL c. MILLER,
Physician and Surgeon.

Ohcc and residence: Corner Main and Pocono Street.
STRoUDsBURG, PA,
Office hours from to s a. M, to . and
to s p. al.
Oct %, lS7G-tf.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1877-03-08
Dl. GEO. w. JACKSON
PHYSICIAN, SURGEON AND ACC0UCIIEUR.

q ice in Samuel Hoods new building, nearly op-
post. tn, post O.hce. Residence Sarah street,
ab,va Franklin.
August S.'72-tf
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1877-03-08
JOB PRINTING

KINDS
Executed in the highest style of the Art and the
most reasonable terms.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-05-26
FARM AND GARDEN.

Hoe CHoLERA.--Wc do not calm that the
cholera when once firmly seate, can be cured
but we unhesiia'lngly affirm That il prompt
measures are taken when the disease first APP
pears in the herd, u large majority OF hogs
may be saved. We sag hogs, Knowing that
young pigs, when taken SICK from any cause,
can only be saved by miracle. As soon as
the disease shows itself IN the herd, attention
20 the following particulars is imperative:
!. Remove the sick animal from the pea
to comfortable quarters. and provide the herd
with fresh bedding and ample protection
from the weather.
3 Avoid feeding corn il any form. Feed
the sick animal milk exclusively, or milk
mixed with mlddlings and the entire herd
with shorts and middlings, ground oats or
rye. Ifihe food can be cooked SO much the
better.
3. Let the entire herd have ready access to
pure water, and keep constantly in the yard
a pile of charcoal and ashes.
f. Keep IN mind this general truth; the
hog is clearly brute which enjoys and pays
tor clean quarters, and especially his nature
no less than mans demand a proper supply
of heterogeneous foods.
Only week ago we heard careful farm.
er and well known Berkshire breeder assert
that, after much experience, he had no longer
any dread for hog cholera, for he could cure
it with new milk.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-05-26

The potato bug has during the last two or
three years been troublesome in the west only
in spots and is no longer dreaded; but any
one afflicted That way may find use for the
following mixture which an Ohio farmer
found an infallble exinguisher:
Take equal parts of copperas and Stacked
lime. used five pounds of each to twelve
gallons Of water and put it on with white.
wash brush. One hand can dope one acre or
more in day. l reduced a small quantity
about one.half and it had the same effect; and
so far from injurlng it seems to improve the
vines. My field of potatoes was literally
alive with bugs; gave the potatoes one dop.
ing, aud the next day not live bug could be
found in the field.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-05-26
Cheap Washing.

A new system of washing has lately been
introduced in some French towns, which sys-
tenn deserves to be especially mentioned. The
economy which it affords is so considerable
that It's cost is reduced to the following fig
ures: 5 confines G5d) for pair of drawers,
~ centlmes ga for each SHIRT and SO on.
This is the process: one kilo g pounds) OF
soap is reduced with little water to sort
of pap, which having been slightly warmed
is cooled in As ltres 90 gallons) of water, to
which Is added one spoonful of turpentine
oil and two spoontuls Of ammonia; then the
mixture is agitated. The water is kept at a
temperature which may be borne by the
hand. In this solution are introduced the
white clothes, and they are left there two
hours before washing them in soap, taking
care in the meantime to cover the tub. The
soapy water may be warmed again and be
used once more, but 1t will be necessary to
add half spoonful ofturpentine and spoon
full of ammonia. Once washed in soap the
clothes are put in warm water and the blue is
applied This process, it is obvious, spares
much time, much labor and fuel. On the
other hand, 1t gives the clothes a whiteness
much superior 70 that obtained by any other
method, and the destructive use of the beetle
is not necessary to clean clothes from the I'M
purities which t. y contain.-Canad0 Jour
Uul
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-05-26
Fodder Peas.

have tor years kept fatter cows and had
more milk and butter, and for less money
than anybody know of. First sow peas
broadcast, three pecks toa bushel per acre
in the month of May, narrowing them in at
ter breaking the ground we'll; then, in Sep
TENDER, pull them up when few begin to
dry, and make hay out the vines and peas
l get from four thousand to five thousand
pounds per acre of hay that is eaten by cattle
and hoases as eagerly as if it was the best
clover Pulling it up is far preferable to
moving, as cattle seem to love the roots bet
ter than the tops, and it Is said TO be more nu
tritous. No manuring Is necessary, and one
acre in sowed peas Is worth six Of fodder
Cor. Scientific Farmer.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-05-26
STEER LOST!

Anne large stee-peckled roam. ghng about twelve
hundred Had purchased A. d. Buiterfrd 10 the
town OF Rutland steer got away near The tox River
Bridge 10 ottawa while being driven 10 the depot a. ot
VA ca the ON Of November liberal reward u sepaif
!or inform alton ihaf vll leai 20 his recoyerv.
Deceat,-. n WI. DEGES & CO.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-05-26

SCRAPING TREEs,-A late exchange gives
the statement of a correspondent showing the
value Of scraping the trunks of trees. The
bark was scraped and washed with lime and
sulphur, and the result was Il heavy crop OF
fine apples, where previously they had been
knotty and wormy. 1t is also mentioned af
terward that the trees received heavy ma
nuring At the time of the sCraping, which We
are l., ii may have" effected the improve
men, probably in this instance more than
nine-', uths OF it. We do not object to scrap
ing and Washing, but for feeble trees, cult
vato' md enrichIng the soil are worth all
else DH9tiy Gentleman.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-05-26
LOVE AND REASON.
BY ROSA vERrNgR JEFFREY.

BY ROSA VERTSGR 5EFEtEf'
Young Love went sailing without fear
Upon lotus leaf,
Though Reason said, pray let me steer
Or YOU will come 10 griei,
Then laughed the saucy goa al" c''c"'
"You look too grIm ana hiut
Go walk along the rivers sl:.e'
I'll paddle my own canoe
So Reason, plodding On the shore,
Watched Loves frail shollop floating,
And thourht.-"Thoug walking is a bore
It's very risky boating.
Halo, Young imp, you Will be wrecked,
Your bark is very irail.'
But Love sang gayly, II expect
To have q jolly sail
"Keep OFT the rocks and cltaracts.
They oft beguile stranger
Ouoth Loye--"A truce to stupid facts
| rather like the danger.
The stream is smooth, the SKY is clear,
You need not come to measure
The crystal deeps through which steer,
Ny pilot shall be Pleasure"
On with the tide did Cupid drift,
His hand at Reason kissing,
To where those sun-lt waters swift
Swift down the rocks went Missing
warning scorned, danger spurned,
or which he saw no token;
Loves lotus leaves were overturned,
His fairy rudder broken;
The gossamer sail was torn to strings;
He seized on Pleasure, crying,
"Come. let us rise. Though drenched my wings
They're light enough for aging.
From yonder bark-to ruin whrlct-
We shall escape in season.
I'll fly with Pleasure through the world.
And leave my wrecks TO Reason"
--Scri5ner for June.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-05-26

I'll. poe seems to be prevalent idea that it
is no ,rofitable to milk COW more than
or Il rnlhs, and most dalrymen dry Off their
cows rrly and let them go dry three or four
monrls. This is not the best practice A
COW Is kept tor milk, and she should be bred
to holding it out as long as she can, with due
regard for health. 1t has been proved in the
cases otthOusands of cows that have lived to
a good old age that they can be bred to give
milk ten months in the year, bear good,
healthy and strong calf, and be ready for a
good milking season the next year.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-05-26

Everybody excepting the managers of the
gas companies will rejoice TO learn that Rus
sian now in Paris, VI. Paul JablOchkotf, has
invented an electric candle" Of which the
English press prophesies glorious things.
This dellveycr uses a candle, according to the
Spectator,
"of some compound which is his secret, but
into which "kaolin," the clay from which
hard china is made, largely enters, and with
one battery can produce some fifty lights.
They are so powerful that 1t Is necessary TO
soften the light by using opaline burners and
six of them gave III the Marenso Hall, Paris,
q light equal to that from one hundred ar
gand gaS-burners. II is believed that the
light can be used for theatres and all other
large buildings, and further Improvements
are expected, but as yet nothing Is said either
of its cost or of the amount of trouble involv-
ed. The main fact as yet Is that NJ. Jabloch-
kofl has succeeded in dividing the electric
light so that one battery would light fifty
electric candles placed, say, along the Strand
II the prayers and good wishes OF oil the
housekeepers in New York are of any avail,
the terrible name of VI. Paul Jablochkoti
Will soon become a household word with US.
". y. World.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-05-26

The French papers are reporting new
method of tanning vicious horses. The driv-
er Is to have beneath his seat GA electro.mag.
netic machine. worked by little handle. \
wire is carried through the rein to the bit
and another to the crupper, so that a current
goes the entire length of the animal along
the spine. Light or strong shocks can be ad
ministered at pleasure. 4 smart shock brings
10 standstll on the spot the most violen,
runaway, and a horse that wont move may
be persuaded to do so at once by u series OF
small shocks.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-05-26

Taking timothy hay as = standard Of com
parison, IT requires 100 pounds of it TO sup
ply certain amount OF nourishment. 1t is
estimated by careful experiment that the
same amount of nOurishment can be obtained
by using the following quantities of food
Clover hay, % lbs; rye straw, 3jj lbs; GA,
straw, eco lbs: potatoes, 10G lbs; carrots, 2S0
lbs; beets, 345 lbs: ruta bagas, 262 lbs; wheat
33 lbs peas. Al lbs; beans, 4G lbs; rye, AZ
lbs; barley, 81 lbs; corn, sc lbs; oats, 80 lbs
buckwheat, Ga lbs; and oil cake, "a lbs.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-05-26
GOOD BOOKS FOR ALL.

For sale by OSMAN HAPEMAN, Is La Sale ST., Ctta=a
In. Any of these Books will be forwarded oy all. posi-.
paid. on recelpt Of price:
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-05-26

4 USE FOR STALE BREAD.-Beat two eggs
and add a cupful of sweet milk, mix well, cut
The bread in slices and soak In the milk and
egg, fry to light brown, in two parts lard
and one psrt butter; when done put on a
dish and sprinkle with sugar; OF put in q
deep dish, put one cupful Of raislns and cur
rants, one-half cupful sugar and enough wine
good lunch dish and the other way good
desser,-N. \. TiBes.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-05-26

There is no more infamous fraud perpetra-
ted on the tax payers of Illinois than the APP
preparation of $4,000 for The so-called Sol.
dier's Orphans Home, situated near Normal,
in this state. 1t would not cost half tina; sum
for the state to board and clothe all the chill.
dren in that institution, who are children Of
bona tide soldiers, at the public hotels. Halt
of those in the institution are not orphaned
children of soldiers, and il wouldn't accom-
modaie a quarter of the real orphaned chill
dren of soldiers Bes DIES, most OF the chill
dren Of solders, whether orphaned or not, have
grown beyond the need of such an institution
They are children no longer. 4 few scala
ways play upon the sympsthies of the people
no; for the soldiers orphans, but TO give
themselves q Fat sinecure situation.-PeoriO
Degl0rrrt
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-05-26

Ridges llra guide Tor aeamen at Osnin &
Hspcnan's.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-05-26

COOKING PRUSEs.-In cooking prunes, If a
little vinegar as well as sugar is added, the
favor is enhsnced. When nearly done add
also a teaspoonful o:cOrn starch Ia ihicken
the Juice.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-05-26
WOODS STATIONS
WIN make the season at stables IA rear OF
Eagle Mills, Ottawa, Ills.
CHAMPION.

A dark beautiful chestnut ljI hands high. with hne
trotng has record OF 40 fOaled in Seneca county
i lie VIII allowed 10 serve Emitted number OF mares
besides his owners At so To insure or tO or single ser
vice mi. ppdl gree Is a. fOows Champion was sired by
Champion. IT., Commonly called Old Champion BY Grin
nel's thampon, Champions dam was by Red Bird. The
following noted hnrsos OF this family: Castle Boy
? 81; York State. ARK st, James. 2.3A; Eva 80
George T. Daniels "a Hunk DOri, rs; Horace 6reeley
SO; Norwood p %; Lady BacSus, go; Joker - AN
born Horse SOrrel Dapper 2'A; Sette Bu7'eH ia
and many Other-.
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1877-11-23
CurIosittcs Of the Congressional Directory,
IN. Y, Graphic.1


The Congressional Directory, which has
been ably compiled for 50 many years by the
veteran correspondent, Ben. Perley Poore Is
out for the Forty-fifth Congress, and contains
short sketches Of the lives Of the statesmen
who occupy the two ends of the Capitol and
much other Interesting information. We
learn from looking over the biographies that
there are In the Senate and House of Repre-.
aentatives fifty-eght ex-Federal officers and
liftyesevsn ex-Confederate officers, although
there are in the House alone twenty-one men
who were engaged some way or another under
abe Confederacy during the rebellion, Some
were Governors Of their States, some repre-
sentatves or Senators in the Confederate
Congress- others in the Legislatures OF thelf
States OF the 3G6 members and Senators
whose Biographies are given, 23o are lawyers.
There are nineteen bankers, the profession
next In numbers seventeen tncfchahts, 1itteen
editors, twelve farmers and planters, twenty
nhvscians, seven manufacturers, five officers
III railroads, five school-teachers and col
iege professors brewers 2 Jones, Of
Now Hampshire and Quinn OF New
York J, mllers 2, miners 2, brick.
layer anthony Ittner Of ": Louisl civil
{smalls of South Carolina), oil well man
WATSON Of Pennsylvania, | barber CRainey
Df South Carolinal, butcher (MoPherson Of
New Jersey stage owner page OF Califor-
MAJ, / railroad passenger agent Nicholas
Muller Of New York;. There are several who
do not give their occupations, such as Brog-
den Of North Carolina, who has been in
Office almost constantly oil his life; also,
George Washington Patterson, Of New York,
tthe Oldest menber) who was born in 1909, and
began to hold Office when he was Il years Of
age and has since, in one way and another,
continued in Office. Fernando Wood can be
set down as n professional Congressman"
40 can Cox, the only man who has served
Congress from two States. In Coxs biogra-
ply he. says he ''is the author of several
works and constant contributor to the press
and periodicals" That Is his business.
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1877-11-23

Read Navra's invitation to the China Palace.
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1877-11-23

The unfortunate stockholders Of the Emma
Mine again come to the front and have
brought suit against Trenur w. Park to re.
cover $5000OOO which they invested in Little
Emma. on Parks, Grants and Schencks re.
Communications. Trenor Park has been fol
some months preparing TO clear out the fa.
nous mine and sink another shaft to see If he
ean find the billions Of money alleged to be
there by the Yale Professor.