The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-04-21

| aIC oduiCS anu pdIoOuS COulDIueu, ue Is
in the habit of joining the two words In
one, and defining them as "squarsons."
-" am convinced that the world is
daily growing BETTER" remarked a rever-
end gentleman to brother clergyman;
my congregation is constantly increas-
ing" Yes" interrupted the brother,
who happened to be penitentiary chap
lain, C and so is mine" And there the
discussion on the early arrival of the
millennium dropped
On the arrival of the news of the
capture of CORVALLIS and his whole
army, one African, meeting another, sd
lutes him thus: con, how do, Cutfee
You here bout Cornwallis?" Ono
What about Cornwallis?" Why, Gen.
Washington shell off all de corn, and
now he Cobwallisw-Ka Massachusetts, Spy,
Feb. 80, 1899.
The settled expression of determine
ton that nantes the face of man who
is just starting out to have tooth pulled
is only equaled by the subdued look that
creeps over his features as he pauses
with his hand on the knob of the dental
room door, turns quietly around and tip
toes back through the hallway outdoors
again.
-"Cap Festivals" are, according to a
correspondent, the latest fund and fun
raising device of the ladies. Caps are
provided for all the ladies attending, and
neckties corresponding to each cap are
sold to the gentlemen as they enter 1t
is expected that each gentleman will find
the cap that corresponds with his neck
tie, and make himself agreeable to the
wearer
There was lively scene in a South
old u. ~ School-room the other day.
The trustee, who wanted to make place
for woman friend, rushed into the
room and tried to eXpel a scrub woman.
The teacher defended her, and while the
two men were kicking over the water
pals the woman laid her dirty mop over
the trustees back, and the delighted
children jumped on their desks and sang
Hold the Fort"
"A sudden outbreak of typhoid fever
occurred in the town of Motherwell, in
England, few days ago, and within a
very small area twelve cases appeared
nearly simultaneously Inquiries made
by the sanitary inspector showed that a
woman suffering from fever was lying in
back room in milk dealers shop in
the street where the cases occurred, and
that nearly all the families affected had
got their milk from this shop.
Of the ten professional divorce law
yers in Chicago one is q woman-a Mrs.
Sims. She is a nervous, active woman,
but neither young nor pretty, and her
practice, though large, is not profitable.
Pittsburgh Commercial. The whole
item is wrong. Mrs. Sims is not nerv-
Gus, active woman. She is both Young
and pretty, and her practice, though not
large, is profitable, and, lastly" there
ANT no such person.-Iribuae.
York, Me-, claims to have been the
earliest Incorporated city IN America.
In 1911 Sir Ferdinando Georges gave the
plantation of York the name of Gorgi-
ana, and granted it charter of incorpo-
ration as a city. His nephew, Thomas
Georges, was the first and last Mayor.
For about twelve years it retained the
name of Gorgiana, but, in 1868, the town
was incorporated by Massachusetts by
the name of York.
They have established a terrible
precedent in France. In December last
two trains on French railroad collided,
and nine passengers were killed and
fourteen wounded. The chief of the
station has been tried, adjudged guilty
of homicide, and condemned to three
years imprisonment because of his mat
tention to and failure to execute the rules
of the company. The company was also
declared legally responsible.
The gentleman on Embargo street
who has looked so solemn for a week
past is not disappointed candidate for
the postofflce, as many supposed His
little boy poured some new-fangled
cement in the gentleman's boots, few
mornings since, which did not prevent
him from getting his boots on, but, as
his wife will not let him wear his boots
to bed, life is becoming rather a burden
to him.-ROme Sentinel.
1t comes from Vermont, and it is to
the effect that gentleman of that State,
having become fatigued while rabbit
hunting, fell over and tainted. His
faithful spaniel rolled himself in the
snow and then shook it in his masters
i"SSb uuIll inc
man had revived There is no doubt
that, had the man failed to come to Just
when he did, the "faithful spaniel"
would have taken some feathers from his
pocket and burned them under the pros
trate mans nose.
BOYS AND GIRLS.
When we are young our boys are sweet,
They climb our knees, and lie at our feet;
When we are old they are hard to please,
Cold as the rock and wild as the breeze;
They kiss us kindly and speak us fair,
But We know their hearts are otherwhere;
Oh! my sons my son till he gets him a wife,
But my daughters my daughter all my life
When we are young our DAYS are bright,
And full of hope from morn till night;
When we are old we sit alone,
And think of pleasant days long gone,
When the house was full of the children's
noise, .
The willful girls and the naughty boys.
Oh! my sons my son till he gets HIM wife,
But my daughters my daughter all my life.
Mrs. Hulock- Craik
--Alphonse, the clerk in Mr.. Merrirs
grocery, was somewhat indisposed Mon
day, SO much so as to cause comment
from the customers as they came in.