Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1877-04-21

ed that blue glass. mashed up fine anu
administered internally, viii cure Il dog
OF sheep killing"
c.bu'ldozrh cocktail is The latest.
Put a little water in Il tumbler. and
enough whisky to ''intimidate" tile WI
ter: then count out the water.
\ man 10 wears OF age. and protesting
t. De a l~unatic, has been taken int" Gus
tody in Brooklyn Tor kissing pretty girls.
Ii craziness IS bliss It's folly to be sane.
.Exploring waist places" said John
Henry, rs he put his arm around The
the air" said Mrs. Henry. "vrlhrar-
inc him, and sailing into his raven cur.s
Cincinnati Enquirer: Anna Dickin-
son i, not an actnr-u.ver can be an
actor" SAWS 4 New York critic. That
= true. and by the same token Lester
N!!lark can never be IN actress. or
john Smith the mother Of 4 family.
The Japanese are advancing in civil
zlt!un They usually favor condemned
trirn~ with the choice of the mode "t
death. An Interesting murderer having
been recently ASKED how he would like
(" be executed. promptly replied 10y
. proxy.
Halt the fools III the | riirl State
think they can beat the doctors III curing
the sick t~wu-th!rd> of them are sure
they can beat the ministers preaching
the gospel. and all CT them know they
can beat the editors running the papers
\ Chinaman thus explains the object
of the celestial order OF ireemaS"nry.
.iu. CL;","n". - In"t -tvnl-n- be
l"ug-put him II / S'pose Chiuyman
!azy-no WORKOUT" Spose good
work no stcal-he -icK-wc pay he
die, We cachee box and put him in"
Al Rome q Socirt, has been formed
tor the defense OF family principles
This body couters special privileges OF
those who are the fathers oil three chill
dren. and it has Just awarded its civil
crown TO Il lady uamedMa,!amc Bnuitlet.
who has lust gwen birth to her thirty
>iNth child.
A Young clergyman. who is a success
IN. pastor. was telling \ retired mission
! airy that he entered college and the the
oio@jcal seminary with the intention OF
becoming 4 missionary. when the vete-
ram broke out with. "Ah. YOU turned
back alter putting Your hand to the
! pow" No. was The answer, Il lust
took another pillow"
\ rather ~good-natured German be
come Jealous OF the warm friendship his
sweetheart manifested for one OF his old
friends. and one evening r~eprOached her
tor her conduct. She SAID She had only
been polite to the man who had aroused
his jealousy. and p~olitcneS> was nothing
To get angry At He replied: ''I>h
Whispering nodding:? ISh slamming no
SEES to noses and smelling sourkrout
init onions-ish dot nodding?"
They had been married five months.
and She was turning the leaves If 4
book she espied 4 pressed flower. part
OF q bouquet he had given her previous
To- wed.ock. and said. " lis but i litt.r
flower. but oh. how fondiy dear Il
should think so" he growied: that's 4
representative of a hH.:-yUiuea bouquet.
and to buy it | walked into town and
deprived my set OF luncheon for Il week
With exquisite IRONY 4 leading rcpuh-
lean @iourna. SAYS: 1t i u matter OF
regret that 50 many eminent statesmen
have determined t. abandon their citi-
Zen>h!p in the south 1t the close ct Their
official careers and IL rn;gratC II once
I" higher iatitutc>. such t genera.
ilignt at such 4 point at time WI. -ivr
delight To those ~>cn.fer> %hr have a.
WAYS accused them of remaining in the
south solely for predatory purposes.
Thu irrevereut fling i from that
>cape-grace sheet, the Cincinnati En-
4uirer: If that New England conferences
Vt Neth0dists vii. contiua its warfare 10
It's ancient and legitimate enemy. the
devil. and ct Hayes. Hampton and pol
Itlc> ;tlune, it vii have is hands til.l. In
TACT. the devil Is considerably ahead ia
mat region Just nov. and their confer
"ncs hasn't got n ammunition L"
waste on outside gueriIi1s if it eAprcr-
t" conquer him. chain him up for a thou
sand years. and tie 4 double bow knot in
hi l'H-grrcn tai.
Il ia a good -igu when the Bost,n
JrlrrAl talks IN this way There MAJ
h.. t.Iosc who can discover something IN
ALE llamptou's letter I" the president
~ which tn cavii. Th"re are doubtless
tho-c vino will sheer at hi professions.
AID Will refuse 10 admit tia, he is acting
il good faith. We confess that We can
fia'i nothing in the letter 10 crIticisc, and
what We have seen Of the man Ell
c1uriges US to believe THAT he honestly
entertains the opinions he expresses, an!
Will, to his utmost. strive to carry out
the purposes respecting the people Dt
south Carolina which he has - plainly
n~nuUUuCed.1
Mary Cicmmcr in the { ucinu4tiCum-
mercIal Old Simon may be as innocent
a3 an angel, but the probabilities are
against him. Doubtless It is very true
what he says. that The has more iinpur-
ant matters 10 attend to than matrimony,
and that the "old iox" never thought Of
marrying. She may be crazy and weak
minded. but he Is neither one nor the
other. II he gave such Il oma It gov
eminent pace. and then levied private
toll on her affections and caresees to
pay tor it. he but proves himself like
many another of his kind. and deserves
to be held up with unIversa! dIsdain.
A Scotch father explained his princi-
pie of getting his girls oil to an old
friend whose daughters became rather
old stock. He said: Il don't let him
make many calls before | give him to
understand he isn't wanted. | tell the
girls. TOO that they shall not have any
thing to do with him, and give them
orders never to speak 20 him again. The
plan works. The young folks begin to
pity ZACH other, and the next thing !
know they are engaged to be married.
When | see that they are determined to