The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-02-08

10 ohhIl ohc years olu.
Next to a diary, the most difficult
thing to keep is cedar pencil.
/ No conflict Is so severe as his
who labors 10 subdue himself.
TO confide too much is 10 put your
lemons in another mans squeezer.
The latest slang is "He's a good
fellow, but he's bit OF more than he
can chew"
The new way to avoid suffering
from corns is to have bay windows
on your boots.
A bald headed individual is now
defined as one whose hair Is too
small for his head.
A sexton buried Mr. Button and
put down IN the bill "To making
one button hole, So"
The art of living easily as to
money is TO pitch your scale Of
living one degree below your means.
"Tite boots" says Josh Billings.
sis luxury, in that they make
man forget all his other miseries."
Emerson says san eye can threat
en- like loaded and leveled gum
We suppose that is when IL Is cock.
ed.
Loafing is a very respectable prac-
tice in some towns. At least, we
judge so from the number who fol-
low it.
Life is a huge sham, and we are
all puppets, jumping grotesquely,
just as the strong hands pull the
wires.
The girl who said she would not
marry the best man living, compro-
missed by marrying one Of the
worst.
The excuse base ball nine put
in'last autumn for non appearance
on the field was that "the pitcher
was full"
They say whalebone has Como up
fifty per cent. The dressmakers
say o: corsets true, but they hope
it won't stay so.
You can tell a married man these
days by the agitation he displays
whenever the price of wood
is mentioned.
We've got 10 economic, or this
country is ruined" was the solilo-
guy of n husband as he kindled the
fire with his wife's hustle.
Mary" said a Pulaski woman TO
u new servant, "when you hang out
the clothes be careful to always put
the incest pieces nearest the street"
Ma, may go out TO trader
oh, no, my darling daugter,
The mud's so very thick, you know,
You cant walk as you orter.
He who searches the hearts of all
knoweth we'll that where one young
man goes 20 church 10 hear The
minister, two go TO escort home the
daughters of Eve.
A passionate aud revengeful TEN.
per renders a man unfit for advice,
deprives him of his reason, and robs
him OF all that Is great aud noble In
his nature.
Many a man thinks IL Is virtue
that keeps him from turning ras-
cal, when IL is only full stomach
One should be careful and not mis-
take potatoes for principles.
Mr. Carlyle has come 20 high H.
ties in the French newspapers. In
dealing with his letter on the con-
ference they call that Briton OF
brawny brain "Lord Carlyle
1t was a New Jersey wife who
said. "My dear, Il you can't
drink bad coffee without abusing
me, how is it that YOU can drink
bad whisky without abusing the bar.
keeper
A poor young man remarks that
the only advice he gets from CAPT
talists is "to live within his in
come" whereas the difficulty he
experiences is TO live without an In
come.
It makes one sad 70 realize that
the train robbers and bank burglars
we're once good little boys, and sat
on the door steps waiting for ma 70
come home from the society meet.
ing.
When three good little boys get
together Of an afternoon, the chan
ces are that there will be either
fight, a window broken, or some
stray dog will have pan tied 10 his
tail.
A country clergyman, seeing
young man standing In the doorway
Of church and looking hesitatingIy
about, paused In tho middle OF his
sermon, and exclaimed: Get out,
young man; she is not hereF
"What did the Puritans come 70
this country fogY" asked n Massa-
chvsctts teacher of bis class. TO
worship in their own way, aud
make other people do the same"
was the reply.
The following notice appeared on
the west end of n country meeting
house: Anybody aticking bills
against this church will be prosecu-
ted according to law or any other
nuisance"
A clergyman In Northern Indiana
assembled the pulpit the other Sun
day and said: "No man can serve
the Lord while be has the jumping
toothache. / therefore dismiss the
congregation"
An editor in Scotland caused the
following notice 70 be posted 10 a
prominent position 10 his sanctum
sanctorum; Nothing is worse for
those who have business than the
visits OF those who have none"
Miss Stagg was married at Hor-
nellsviIle, N. Y, recently. The
bridegroom had engraved on the
wedding ring: Name ever deer q
me-" We wish the happy couple all
doe nestle bliss. They are taking
their wedding trip or a buck board
There Is nothing like a pleasant
surprise. A windham country
girl, who hung up her stocking