Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1877-08-24
The Mule.

|
didn't take into the ark with him. have
looked over the freight list carefully, and
could not see a mule way-billed for any
place. So clear-headed man as Noah did
not dare to take one on board, as he knew
he would kick a hole through her i'll less
than a week. I don't know a man on
whose head you could poor quicksilver and
run less risk of it's spilling off than on
Noah's. He was dreadful level -headed
man, and before the freshet was over every
body on earth realized the fact.
The origin of the mule is envelopad in Il
good deal of MYSTERY. Tradition informs
us that when the flood had subsidized. and
the ark had landed on Mount Ararat,
Noah was very much surprised in one of
his first observations to find good healthy
mule standing on the top OF an adjoining
mountain. The same tradition informs US
that the mule is the only animal that lived
through the flood outside of the ark.
The mule can be considered in good
many ways, through the worst place from
which to consider him is directly from be-
hind, anywhere within d radius of ten feet
! I never consider a mule from that point.
/! unless [ am looking out through the hue
of boiler.
Like multiplied by like produces like.
Grasshoppers multiplied by grasshoppers
produce famine, and potato bugs multipli-
ed by potato bugs produce rise in the
price of yeast. But when you try to null
tiply mules by mules they don't multiply,
ard hence the word mule.-Yo gu may study
] your arithmetic, and read through all of
| Tlain's lectures, but you can't discover
why this is so, any more than you can why
woman cannot put ON rubber without
leaning up against something.
| The mule has one more leg than milk
ing stool, and he can stand on one and
| waive the other three round IN as many
| different directions. He has only three
| senses, hearing, seeing and smelling. He
! has no more sense OF smell than a stone
| jug, and will -eat anything that contains
nutriment, and he don't care two cents
| whether it be one per cent. or ninety-nine.
| All he asks is to pass him along his plate,
| with whatever happens to be handy round
| the pantry, and he won't go away and blow
how poor the stake is. He just eats what
ever is set before him, and asks no ques
| lions.
| Mules are naturally deaf, but that SUI
| preme wisdom that teaches the little boy to
| wipe his nose On his sleeve, has fitted the
| mule out with pair OF ears that counterd
acts its deafness, SO he can hear as readily
| as a person When you don't want him to.
! These ears answer a double purpose, as
! tunnels to pour sound into his head, an
also as fans to brush away the flies with and
| Keep his head cool. They are hung by
| itlnghes to the sides of his head, and flap
| backward and forward like pair of wet
trousers round a boys legs, In cold latl
tudes quite d tasty business is done in
mules ears. The ears are cut off and dri-
| ell, and sold for snow shoes, and then the
stubs are trimmed up and the mules are
| sent South ana sold for horses. In this
way a great many fine horses were pur-
chased for the army by the United States.
Ii l were to have large picture of in
nocence, to hang up in my parlor, and |
did not wish to sit for it myself, l should
| get correct likeness of mule. There is
innocence enough depicted in a mules
co,lntenance to fit out a Sunday school
class. 1t looks as an angle worm.
| A mule never grows old OF dies. Once
brought into existence, he continues on
forever. The original mule is now alive
somewhere in the South and is named
Robert Toombs, because he is so stubborn.
Mules are chiefly found in the South and
West. They have been more abused than
Judas Iscariot. A boy who would not
throw a stone at a mule if he got a chance
would be considered by his parents as too
mean to rails.
The mule is good worker, but he can
not be depended on. He Stable to strike,
| and when a mule strikes, human calcula-
ton fails to find out any rule by which to
reckon when he will go to work again. It
! is useless to pound him, for he will stand
| more beating than a sitting room carpet.
lie has been known to stand eleven days
in one spot, apparently thinking of some
thing, and then start off again as though
nothing had happened.
small darkeys on the plantation, they send
them out into the barnyard to play where
there is loose mule. They always bid them
goodbye when they start out, for they are
sure the parting will be final This is the
most economical style of funeral now in
the market.
To fully appreciate the mule, one should
listen to his voice. You never can really
know whether you like mule or not till you
have heard him sing. I attended mule
concert at Fort Smelling. The programme
opened with soprano solo, and then
swung into a duet, and then pranced off !
into trio, followed up by quartette, and
ending with full chorus by $50 mules. I |
didn't hear the whole thing, for when l !
came too the regimental surgeon was stand
ing over me, giving me a powerful restora-
tive, and heard him say thatI might pos !
sibly get out again, though I would never
be well man again. have been through I
the New York Stock Exchange, and spent
part Of a day in boiler factory, and have
been on one or two Sunday School excur-
slons for children, but never knew what /,
noise was till l heard lot of army mules
bray.
One of the dead certainties about mule
is that he is sure-footed, especially with
his hind feet. He never misplaces them.
If he advertises that his feet will be at a
certain spot in certain time, with SAM
pie of a mule shoes, to which he would call
your attention, you will always find him
there at the appointed time. lie is as re-