Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-09-26
son the peninsula is we'll supplied with
DRYERS, and the great bulk Of the inferior
fruit is being dried.
HulnOr.

! IL etit 10 UoIllS uTIeu.
Humor.
The most unqualified confidence in
the way of love is when YOU swap
spoons with her in eating ice cream.
New York T1bune "Crazy Horse
has gone, but an inscrutable Providence
still spares Sitting Bull and David Dud-
ley Field
A New York girl sang Darling L am
growing DID," with an expression so
penitent and truthful that her procrasti-
mating lover left for good.
Darwin married his cousin so that he
could study the gradual evolution of O.
loving aunt into a fierce mother-in-law.
-PhiladeipAia Press
She slipped her number skies back
beneath her dress and bushed prettily,
as she replied: "No, do not wear SO
small shoe as ones. My size is quite
large-I wear twos"
There is a hint of out spoken pathos,
q hint of patient suffering and resigna-
ton in this birth notice from the Marys-
vile appeal: In this city. August 8, to
the wife of William Lea, a son. Not
twins this time '-Puek.
All the worlds stage" be rumin-
ated, and all men and women merely
players, and most of the plays are from
Shakespeare, too! Before we We're mar
ried, Julia and [ played Romeo and
Juliet, and now it is mostly Tempest
A teamster who careessly drove
cart full of building stones over q pedes-
fri +i,o Il ~
was rot his cart, and he didn't know it
was oaded-Philudelpzua Prees.
Very genteel New York men carry
water melons home by u ing shawl
strap handles; but they snatch their
collie medicine from q broken cup with
a brass spoon without any thought of
style---NeW O,lunas Picayatne
It makes boy heart-sick as the win
ter's wood begins to loom up in steadily
growing piles in the back yard, and be
sees his mother making preparations
for organizing him into g a workingman's
party. "-Huankeye.
A Kansas farmer purchased q revol-
yer for his wife and insisted on target
practice, SO that she could defend her
house in case Of his absence. After the
bullet had been dug out Of his leg. and
the cow buried, he said he guessed that
she'd better shoot with an axe
The ex-rebel General Hood has or
gained a new brigade, on the peace
basis, since the war. He has nine
children, all under the age of s years,
and three pairs of them twins. They
are differed by four nurses, governess,
his wife and his mother-in-law.
Flush times At last" broke out
our jolliest friend, as he burst into the
office, 4 have struck upon plan for
making flush times" 'How is it?'
earnestly exclaimed our financial man.
"By counting a bashful girl" exclaimed
the Joking fiend. And, lodging an I'M
friendly chair, he departed down the
tire-escape.
"You are. nice member of the
Young Mems Christian Association"
said an irate collector to an exasper-
ating debtor, to make me call a dozen
times for this little bill" Young Mems
Christian?" said the impecunious one;
AZ amt an Young Mems Christian"
"Wot do you hev Y. NJ. c. A. stuck
up there for, theh?" said the collector,
pointing to the heading Of circular
posted up on the desk. "Oh, haven't
you seen that before?" replied the
debtor. II got tired of Disappointing
SO many Of you fellows. Most OF EN-
know when they see the sign that it
means You May Call Again Got That
idea from Hon. Bardwell Slote;;' and he
filled up the last unoccupied corner OF
the blotting-pad with his signature as the
collector slammed the door.
Years ago, when Rock Island was a
small village, and its people had lots of
fun all to themselves, one Of our very
sober and dignifed citizens put his own
head under one end Of yoke and a lit
tie bulls under the other, to teach the
animal how to be useful and work.
When he found the bull was running
away with him down dirt road towards
a crowd around the country store ON
Illinois street, hemeasured sixteen feet
at Jump, kept up with the bull and
yelled at the top of his voice: Look
out! Here we come, darn our fool
souls. Head us somebody" and when
halted and the yoke was being lifted
from his neck, he yelled: "Unyoke the
bull and never mind me. will stand,
Rock Island { IH) Argus.
I