The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-11-08
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

SENSE AND NONSENSE.
"HoRsE-PLAGrAR1sM'' is new West
ern word.
HOTEL keepers are people we have
to "put up WITH
ACONsCIOUs power rests in the form
of moncyed man.
THE weigh of the world-eleven
ounces to the pound.
PUNCHES of autumn leaves are
novelty for hat characterization.
The Hudson River is to be tunneled
at the lower end of Manhattan Island.
The back of summer has been brok-
en- by the fall.-Nc,c Orleans Pcayune.
ROUND lace collars, with bit of
ribbon at the throat, are neat and
pretty.
"TH1s," thought a boy while being
trounced by his fond papa, lis very
like whale
WHEN u man has lived forty years,
and then gets the whooping-cOugh, he
whoops it lively.
IT Is impossible to keep up going on
u lark at night and rising with the lark
in the morning.
| A GOOD rule for correspondents is to
write what printers can read and what
other people will read.
The worst end that u man can come
to is the end of rope not long enough
to let his feet touch ground.
The Emperor Of Brazil has reached
home after eighteen months vacation,
and they didn't dock his salary either.
The Brooklyn Eagle thinks it better
to have less pOmp ut wedding cercmO-
nies and more pork and potatoes after
ward.
IT is bad enough to have Il bad cold,
without being obliged to listen to every
person who will tell you what is good
for it.
BUSINESS in Berlin is not managed ON
the Chicago plan. When Il Berlin bank
suspends the manager commits suicide.
-New Orleans Picdyune.
BURGLARS now force fine powder into
safes with air-pumps. No lock will be
perfectly secure until man can put
the keyholc in his pocket.
WArCHMAN, what of the night? Ire.
Spouse, at 1880 p. m. from 1,oOO,OOC
happy American hOmeS), Ibid you
lock the front doory' Darlington
Hawk-Eyc.
The London Truth says: "There is
no cut-and-tlry receipt for Il gentlcman
but he is as unmistakablc to those who
know one rs the color of a flower or the
scent of u leaf.''
In reply to tie wcll-known assertion
that 50 only the female mosquito bites,
the Worcester Press adds: but they
average nincty-nine females out of 3
possible hundred"
"WHY in such hurry?'' said man
to an acquaintance. ''Sir," said the
man, Z" l have bought new bonnet fol
my wife, and l fear the fashion may
change before l get home"
NEW YORK's water famine has
brought heroines to the surface. A lady
permitted her canary bird to perish
from thirst that more water might be
left for the street-car horses.
NOTHING should be touched when
gloves are worn, except the human
hand, unless handkerchief is held in
the fingers, as vanished furniture,
dOor-handles, and even books not only
discOlOr, but leave an unpleasant odor
on the glove. Graphic.
THE Sibyl, whose hand has been
crossed with silver: You will expe-
rience the most abjcct poverty until
you have attained your thirtieth year. ~
The credulous young man who crossed
it" And afterwarls?' The Sibyl-
land afterwards you will have become
used to itr'
IT SHOWS every other day in Russia
during the winter, and thousands OF
young men join the Cars army to
fight the Turks for no other purpose
than to get rid of shovcling three or
four feet of snow off the front pavements
three or four times week.-Norris-
t0aon Herald.
ABOUT this time the farmer glcefully
rubs his hands as the juice of the apple
trickles frcm the seams of the press,
and the farmers boy impaticntly waits
around the corner until the old man
shall depart to attend to other things
which go to ennoble the ycoman's in
ttustry. Chicago journal.
WHEN Il canvasscr called ut the house
of an austere Rutland widow the other
day, and inquired if there was man
on the premises, the lady replied. loft
lily: "NOne, but l have very large
dog which takes the place of man,
and reflects credit upon the house."
parted.
GET up early these frosty mornings,
if you want to learn lessons of wisdom
from the sad-eyed grasshoppcr, that sits
on the sunniest windOw-sill it can find,
and weeps because it went to moonlight
hops and glce-club concerts when il
should have been laying in its winter S
wood and earning money to buy an ul-
stcr and a pair of arctics.-Burlingto,
Hasok-Eyc.
A LoNDoNER who is the happy pos
SCISSOR of some meadows on the banks
Of the Thames, in those meadows keeps
some cows. One morning his dairy.
maid brought him letter which she
said was tied to the tail of one of the
cows. On opening it he found it con.
tanned a three-penny piece and the fol
lowing penciled memorandum: g To the
owner of this COW. Sir: For the last
three hours we have been trying at va.
rious houses to purchase some milk.
Having been unsuccessful, we took the
liberty of extracting u sotia-watcr bottle
full from the bearer. Please acccptoul
apologies and our thrce-pence. Yours
respectfully, Three Bank Holida,
Keepers