Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1877-05-02
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It's about neck-and-neck between
the Pope and Alexander Stephens.
A tailor states that there are 1000
stitches in dress coat. 1t wouldn't
seam sew.
Most time to plant croquet sets and
press your opinion of the girl who
cheats.
Gilt-edge handkerchiefs are the !
latest atfectation. The edge must Just
peep from the swell's overcoat pocket
on the port side.
A Kentucky paper deiides a man
who "sits on the fence and smokes
cigarettes while his wife hoes the
garden"
The other cities will have to yield
the palm to Cincinnati, for she is GO
ing to have baby show at which no
white babies will be admitted.
A New Haven man with touch of
insanity has driven his wife almost
frantic by bringing home wheelbar-
rows in announcement quantities.
The man who turned around to
take long backward look at pref
ty girl the other day, was brought up
rather suddenly when he bumped his
nose against his indignant wife.
The Norristown Herald has ascer-
tanned that "Blue glass, mashed up
fine and administered internally, will
cure dog-of sheep killing.
A little fellow who wore striped
stockings was asked why he made
barber poles of his legs. His pert
reply was, "Well, amt / a little
shaver ?"
Bald headed gentleman in the par
quet to young lady in the dress circle.
during an affecting passage in the
play: II respect your emotion, ma am,
but you are shedding tears on my
head"
Little Susie, looking at some pic
lures Of winged angels, exclaimed
mamma, don't want to be an angel
!, "Why not, my DEAR" Humph leave
off all my pretty clothes, and wear
) feathers like hen !"
A woman in Philadelphia is under
arrest for cowhiding aschool-mistrcss
who feruled her child. II don't say
the boy is good boy" she says
; apolegctically,: "few of them are
but am the one to correct him.
He was solemn-looking traveller,
and he walked through the depot
singing, "Heaven is my home," when
) one Of the boys called ont; HThcI
. you are going the wrong way, stran-
: ger. this is the train to SYRACUSE
Rome Sentinel.
8 Two ragged little urchins were
, standing in the gutter looking at Z
lady who had just fallen down ON thu
pavement. at isn't so much that
: like oranges" observed one OF them
t 'but what a lot of people you cal
bring down with the peel"
a Molicre was asked the reason why
: in certain countries, The king may as
sumo his crown at fourteen years O
I: age, and cannot marry before eight
: eenp at is" answered Molierc, "be
i cause it is more difficult to rule
!. wife than Kingdom
l. George Francis Train lately told
A Philadelphia audience that he CAV
Susan b.. Anthony and Mrs. Cad
. Stanton $4,000 to start them in tn
e lecturing and newspaper business an
If that they went right off to buyin
=, silk dresses.
N For real overdone style the bumbl
bee takes the palm lie is as fl
. as the letter O, and as moderate as
' seidlitz powder. He wears blac
G. and white velyeteen coat and a pal
10 of yellow corduroy trousers. ii
4. dresses as we'll as hotel clerk.-O
=, City (Pa9 CAL.
10 A wee bit of boy having bee
slightly classified by his mother, S,
7 very quietly in his chair for son
If minutes afterward, no doubt thinl
s. ing very profoundly. At last |
spoke out thus: "Muzzer, wish da
would get anuzzer housekeeper-I'y
got tired O. seein' you round
ii A young lady received the follow
lie ing note, accompanied by a boquct I
u flowers: Dear send you bi Il
re boy bucket of ilours. They is iii
H. my love foru The mite shade men
Of kepe dark. The dog fenil menes
ly am your slave. Rosis red and pos
n pail, my love for you shall never fal
n, "A touching instance of gratitut
n. was that of a young servant girl
10 Cincinnati the other day, who, upt
q being dismissed in the police cou
~ on some trivial and false charg
No went from the room, but soon retur
"a ed, bringing to the Judge a natur
a. flower, for which she had paid b,
NJ last cent.
*. Line by line he goes down the pag
ne every letter undergoing his rig
d, scrutiny. AT last he looks up, Il
ad anxious expression completely gon
o. and, with confident tone, he a.
ed dresses the diamond pin behind Il
e. counter: stranger. you can give n
on a room: i see that Catherine Cha
H. ton is not stopping at your hotel"
at Louisville Coaries-.Jou1nal.
N. "Your face seems familiar to n
ife SIR" said one man to another on Il
he Michigan Central train the other da,
of "can ] have met you before? Was
- at the Centennial? Or didn't I S,
You at st Louis, last fall?" at mt
have been either, sir" courtcously +
sponded the unknown, "for / was
% Turkish pasha in the cake and coffi
~ business at Philadelphia, and subs
81. quently filled brief engagement
an a cannibal. ! am now on my way
OF California to become gorilla if II
NY tive talent meets with any encourag
ment, but if business is bad j sh,
re either let my hair grow out and emf
the lecture field or geta chucka-lut
board and follow the countryfairs
EtI ;fo y On Ii 4la al a.. .,,a., 81