South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1877-01-26

tue wives anu hotheiS not 10 run after
public interests to the neglect of .,omes.
tic duties: '.i.et the ,bustons be- on tho
shirts, let the clillrers socks be mend.
ed. let the roast mutton be done to a tan,
let the house be as neat as q new pin,
and the home as happy as home can be-"
IVA fond mother was in the act of |
cutting tho pie for dinner, and proceed.
ca TO 'count nosos,' rs she termed IL, |
that each might get his or her share,
when q suggestion was made by her
young female hopeful that the parent
"couut eyes" thinking that if the q.
mendment was ~, ied, two pieces of pie
would be allotted to each of the fcasters
instead of one piece.
n%A little ragged urchin, begging
in the city the other day. was asked by
a lady who Oiled his basket, If his par.
ents werc liyisea
only dad. marm." said the boy.
"Thcn you have enough in your has.
ket to feed the family for some time"
aaid the lady.
Q, no, l haven't neither" said the
boy, ''for dad and nc keeps five board
ers he does the house work, and | do
tho marketn."
~ An old pioneer, who believed that
what was TO be would be-" lived in n
region infested 10y Indians. He always
took his gun with him. and once find
ing that some of his family had taken
it out, he would not go without it. his
friends rallied him, saying that there
was no danger Of the Indians, as he
would not die till his time came anyhow.
YES" said old Leatherstockings but
suppose l was to meet On Indian. and
his time was come. it wouldn't do not to
have any gun.
sy..r is becoming to me?" asked
she as she paraded in the costume of one
Hundred years ago, before the man who
is her husband. Yes. my dear" said
he meekly. "non't you wish / could
dress this way all the timc?' she asked.
NO, my dear" he anawcred hat wish
You had lived when that WAS tho style"
ES Three year old happened 10 have
want to be attended 10 inst as his
mother was hnsy with ti ..Ay. Get
away; can't he bottle 20 aith YOU
now What did you have 50 many
children for if you can't bother with
emf" lie unexpectedly inquired.
lU Oars gwine to he wah," remark.
ed colored citizen. IAN all We niggahs
-inout jess well git ready for active bu
siness." (Which side shall we take?
asked one Of his hearers You niggahs
can take jes wat side YOU please; Use
gwino to take de Canada side
W a colored preacher. on Grand av.
enue last Sunday evening said: My
beloved breddcn; Believe me dat sin
is like black cat. iou bar nc, it fol.
lowed rue one mite, wild its two sparkin
eyebals. | seed dat cat acon,in' and
SADIE "scat" You har me, my friends,
and dat cat Immediately scattancd :"
Et There is ayoung man in the neigh
borhood who is always melancholy. and
always out Of work The other day he
was asked by kindly disposed person
whether he could find no work.
"Sir said he. ''the only thing that slurs
my happiness is my appetite. Can
help it?"
"No."
the only thing that appeases my mp.
petite is my food. Can help iL?"
no; certainly not"
The only thing that procures me
food is money Can help it?"
"Of course not. Everybody has to
buy food.
"The only way for me to get money
is to work. Can help it?"
THAT is the best way TO get IT,"
"But. sir" and here the tears came
rolling down his cheek. "there's the rub.
Work spoils my appetite, and I haven't
anything e!se.to live for"
THE ACE or THE Mare call
upon you said pompous counsellor,
Ito state distinctly upon what authority
you are prepared 20 swear to The mares
age?" Upon what authority" aid the
ostler. interrogativcly. you are TO re.
ply. not TO repeat tho questions put TO
you" 81 doesn', consider mans
bound to answer . question aforc he's
fitno IN turu il In HE mimi " uNotItiuor