Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1877-05-16
PARAGRAPHIC.

England is just waiting for some
body to knock the chip from her
shoulder.
A Pittsburg tailor has his bill-heads
stamped with a picture Of a forgit.me-
lot.
The United States sent abroad
eight and one half million pounds of
fresh beef in April.
II there is any time in the affairs of
man when he should keep mum it is
when he's getting his chin shaved.
"Trhe Turkish fleet contains some
rams Of formidable power. = Elk.
Yek, but do the Turks knos~how to
ewes them.
Are angels playing croquet, NAM
MAJ asked little fouryear old, the
other evening when she sew The me-
teors shoot
a Port Jervis butcher claims to
have worn pair OF woelen socks
since 1862, but no man should ever
boast Of any such fest.
"A millionaire in Pittsburg, has paid
SToO for kissing the family seamstress; !;
yet people will persist in saying that
prices are going down.
Experience is a wise teacher, but
the man who feels a June bug creep
ing inside his trousers leg, has no re-
source, save IN his natural ability.
A North avenue young lady says
that SIT cart wheel has nine telloes,
attached 10 it, it's a pity that girl
like her, can't have no more than
two"
The the average vassar girl never ex-
poets 10 give the old man another
chance by leaving him a widower.
Only three deaths have occurred at
the college in ten years.
It really looks as if Brigham wanted
10 fight. When you talk about rob-
sbing man of his family, and reducing
him to one bare wife, you strike him
in tender spot.
"That parrot Of nine, wonderful
Bird said SmitAefs;; she cries stop
thief SO naturally that every time l
hear it ! always stop. What are you
all laughing Ut, anyway
Two hundred dollars per barrel for
flour isn't SO very bad, after all. We
have simply to earn $500 per week
TO offset the rise, and what true
American will hesitate to earn that
sum?
Woman is imbued with Joy and
kindness, and sweetness and things
second only to an angel, but she can
wash pair of summer cashmere
pants and iron them into set, to save
her: darling soul.
| Somebody has discovered that
There is hols in the sun over 7,SOe
miles deep. We shall stop paying
for sunshine unles, thut rent is re-
paired. It's fraud on the face of it
on the face of the sun.
A saloon keepar- named his resort
Nowhere" SO that when hismarried
customers went home late and their
wives wanted to know where they
1 had been they could safely tell The
truth.
A kind hearted and well meaning
young lady, belonging to well-to dc
family, who spent whole week ma
king flannel shirts for the deserving
poor, is said to be innocently respon-
sible for the semi-insanity Of recipi-
euts of the garments, who found they
wonld exactly fit man who had arms
growing out of his hips.
/ Oh, yes! go south, Young man. A
northern gentleman who bought a
farm in Virginia few years ago
writes home: aHard money or soft
Hayes or any other man, put. this lr
i your pipe and smoke it; as soon as
can sell, just SO soon you'l sec . man.
coat tails standing out straight bes1ind
him.
i a gentleman in Ehgland commit
ed suicide the other day, and left
paper stating that he did-so becaus,
bis wife was great deal too goot
for him. That's why the jury re
turned verdict recording .heir opin
ion that deceased WAS of aan uasauas
state of mind"
And nowSthe woman who has Jus
moved in seans oyer the fence am
tells her neighbor that she never saV
such adirty house as this one; total,
obivious OF the fact that the new
ntighbor is the absent tenants sister
Tho consequence is the dissemination
! Of much active feeling.