Connecticut western news., 1877-03-09
Marriage.


 all heroic. It certainly narrows and damps the spirits of generous men. In marriage man becomes slack and self ish, and undergoes fatty degeneration of his moral being. It is not only when Ladgate misallies himself with Rosa mond Whey, but when Ladislaw mar ries above him with Dorothea, that this may be exemplified. The air of the ffreside withers out all the fine wildings of the husbands heart. He is so com fortable and happy that he begins to prefer comfort and happiness to every thing else on earth, his wife included. Yesterday he would have shared his last shilling; to-day "his first duty is to his family" and is fulfilled in large measure by laying down vintages and husbanding the wealth of an invalua- ble parent. Twenty years ago this man is equally capable of crime or heroism now he is fit for neither. His soul is asleep, and you may speak without con- straint; you will not wake him. It is not for nothing that Don Quixote was bachelor, and Marcus Aurelius married ill. For women there is less of this danger. Marriage is of so much use to woman, opens out to her so much more of life, and puts her in the way of so much more freedom and useful ness, whether she marry ill or well, she can hardly miss some benefit. It is true, however, that some of the merriest nd of al maids, and that those old maids, and wives who are unhappily married, have often most of the true motherly touch. And this would seem to show, even for the women, some narrowing influence in comfortable married life. Bnt the wish the pick of men and women, take good bachelor and good wife. I am often filled with wonder that so many marriages are passibly successful, and so few come to open failure, the more so fail to un derstand the principle on which people regulate their choice. I see women marrying indiscriminately with staring burgesses and ferret-faced white-eyed boys, and men dwell in con- tentment with noisy scullions, or taking into their lives acidulous vestals. It is a common answer to say the good peo- pie marry because they fall in love; ; and of course you may use and misuse a word as much as you please, if you have the world along with you. But love is at least somewhat hyperboli- cal expression for such lukewarm pre- ference. It is not here, anyway, that Love employs its golden shafts; he can not be said, with any fitness of lan- guage, to reign here and revel. Indeed, if this be love at all, it is plain the poets have been fooling with mankind since the foundation of the world. And you have only to look these happy couples in the face to see they have never been in love, or in hate, or in any other high passion, all their days. When you see dish of fruit at a dessert you some- times set your affection upon one par ticular peach or neetarine, watch it with some anxiety as it comes around : the table, and feel quite a sensible dis appointment when it is taken by some one else. l have used the phrase of "high passion." We'll, I should say this was about as high a passion as ] generally leads to marriage. One hus. band hears after marriage that some poor fellow is dying of his wife's love
 "What pity!'' he exclaims; ''you know could so easily have got an- othern' And yet that is very happy union. Or again: A young man was
 telling me the sweet stories of his loves
 T like it well enough as long as her sis. . ters are there,' said this amorous swain t ''but don't know what to do wher
 we're alone." Once more: A married
 lady was debating the subject with an f other lady. "You know, dear," sait the first, "after ten years of marriage 2 2 if he is nothing else, your husband i: ', always an old friend. ''"I have many olt !. friends" returned the other "but lore