The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-12-08
Monkeys to Order.

AN American Consular officer, in
Washington on leave of absence, re-
lates very funny occurrence which
came under his observation during his
official residence in Liverpool. A sue
cessful and very wealthy ship-owner,
having given more time to money-mak-
ing than to the cultivation of the intel
lect, was considered by his business as
sociates little &C Off in his photography
and kindred trifles. He may have be-
lieved, with Dogberry, that reading and
writing came by nature, and consequent
ly lost no time in the pursuit of such
wild and visionary objects. He sent an
order to Bombay to meet there one of his
ships, which had sailed from Liverpool
some time previously, such order telling
what kind of cargo was best adapted to
the present condition of the market.
Among other things the owner wrote for
two monkeys, which he wanted to pre-
sent to some friends, but, departing
from the usual mode of spelling the
word two, he put 1t too. Perhaps the
handwriting was not very legible, as is
often the case with others than illiterate
ship-owners. At any rate, the master of
the ship read 100, as did also the agents
at Bombay. There was much astonish-
ment at so strange an order, but the mas
ter was bound to obey it. Accordingly,
the services of number of natives were
secured and in few days 100 monkeys
of all colors and previous conditions were
seSqrtd, e,lTheIe were, little black monk
I eys, y 1ithl Ike beads, bigger m6hk-.
eys with whiskers, and balloons whose
grave expression of countenance pre-
sented ridiculous contrast to their IN
dignifed antics. The whole crowd
scattered, screamed and fought in the
cage which had been provided for them
in the ship, in spite of all efforts to keep
them quiet. In few days the home
voyage was commenced, and with it the
troubles of the crew. AS soon as the
motion of the ship was felt, the monkeys
redoubled their noise, making a regular
pandemonium of the ship. Relays of
them shook the bars of the cage without
moments cessation for twenty-three
hours out of each twenty-four, until the
cage was literally shaken to pieces, and
the astoAished sailors beheld a cloud of
monkeys suddenly issue fromthe hold,
scrambling fighting and tumbling over
each other as if their lives depended upon
getting into the rigging in the shortest
possible time. From that moment poor
Jack had not moments peace. The
monkeys, with mischievousness unpar-
alleled, would steal everything they
could lay their hands on. If clothes
were hung up to dry, they would carry
they up to the highest point attalnable
and pick them to pieces, 1t was neces-
sary to set guard over everything that
was washed or dried. When the cabin boy
swept the deck he had to lock up the
broom, for if he hid it ever so securely
his back would be scarcely turned before
an old ape, half as big as a man, would
have it, going through the motion of
sweeping the deck with an air of in
describable gravity. AS soon as the boy
started to recover the broom the old
fellow would drop it and dart up the rig
ging like flash. The cook had to keep
the galley locked while preparing the
meals, and, when he finished them and
started on run for the cabin, he first
had to come out and drive away the
monkeys, who, knowing what was going
on inside, clustered around the door and
| perched on the roof, ready to snatch,
as soon as the cook appeared, whatever
he carried. While the men were eating
their meals, they were obliged to lock
themselves in the cabin, so persistent
were the monkeys in their rogueries,
while right over their heads was row of
grlnning heads and chorus of yells,
screams and snarls, and scampering
and shutting as the monkeys ran back
ward and forward between the cabin
door and skylight, trying to find some
mode of entrance. So great was the an
noyance that it was with the greatest
difficulty that the officers could prevent
the men shooting their tormentors, and,
| when the ship touched at Alden, half of
the crew deserted, preferring to take
their chances at this inhospitable place
rather than endure the prosecutions of the
monkeys.
Finally the ship reached home. She
had been signaled at Lands End, and the
owner was at the dock when she arrived.
Ship-owners generally pride themselves
on the trim appearance of their ships,
and our friend was weak in this respect,
if in no others. What then was his as
constituent to see his ships rigging
crowded with knots or punches, with
here and there festOon where several
monkeys had suspended themselves from
spar in the string holding each other
by the tail Everybody about the docks
viewed with wonder the approaching
spectacle. The ship moved slowly to
her berth, and presently her yardarms
neared those of several other vessels ly-
ing at the dock. In an instant the monk
eys leaped from one to another, and
began a tour among the forest of masts
that fringed the harbor of Liverpool.
All the boys and idlers around the dock
were engaged, and grand hunt ensued,
up and down the rigging from ship to
ship, all over the harbor. They were
finally captured.
The owner was furious, but was
after awhile Modified by an explana-
ton, and the difficulty satisfactorily
adjusted. The monkeys were grad
ually sold off, realizing a profit of
about ten pounds fifty dollars) above all
costs. But the master of the ship de-
clared that he never wanted to sail on
another voyage with cargo of live