Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-01-17
COMICALITIES.

COMICALITIES.
MANY servant who beats his mas
ter's coat loves to fancy that the master
is inside of it.
AN Indianapolis girl hung up her
stockings, and the boys for fun threw
in q reaper and mower and two barrel
organs. Their motto was, ''Though lost
to view, to memory dear"
The satirical man of the Boston
Home Journal says one of the largest
hotels in Berlin is owned and managed
by a woman who does not permit more
than six cents worth of waste every
fourteen years. In this way she sus-
tains the reputation of her race for
genuine economy.
ONE Boston clergyman, supposed to
be Philip Brooks, received on Christ
mas day twenty'six pairs of slippers.
The Hartford Courant thinks he is one
rels in his studio, and when the ladies
bring him their offerings of slippershe
says: "Lefts in that barrel, madam;
rights in this"
A LOVELY lady, says George Sennott
in the Boston Post, more interested in
politics than I like, says: care not
good little girls worth a fable, too?"
Certainly, and worth a great deal more.
Here is short one for them explain
ing how nice it would be if women let
politics alone. Women in politics
Sugar in Stops! It may improve the
slop; but oh what waste of sugar.
BROWN has just asked his new slavey
Whom he has had especially from the
country so she shall be free from Lon
don servants tricks) if she is sure she
posted that important letter all right
last night. Here's here reply:-"Yes,
sir, I put it into the letter box in the
all door, sir. But it amt gone yet,
sir. "-Fun.
AT the battle of Spires, regiment
had orders not to grant any quarter.
and an unhappy enemy, wounded and
disarmed, begged hard for his life from
one of its officers. Touched with his
situation, the other replied, 81 pity
your misfortune, and-ask anything
else but that, and upon my honor, 1
will grant it."
A SPRINGFIELD mother, troubled to
manage her numerous children, sent
| to school with an older one little tot
under the school age of five years.
The teacher sent him home again. A
few days after the little fellow came
again. "He can't come; he isn't five
years DID," said the teacher. eyes he
can," persisted the older brother,
'mother says he can come, to-day, COS
he was five years old at five o'clock
this morning"
IT was stout box, weighing over
eighty pounds, and when the officer sat
it down in the station house all his
bones ached. Some said it was butter,
and said cheese, and SO it was opened.
The contents were cobble-stones, The
officer ran ali the way back, and he
spent hours looking for the good boy,
but without any luck. The g. b. knew
his business.-DetroSt Free Press.
A WEST HILL woman played it most
awful fine on her husband last Monday.
He wouldn't get her sealskin sacque,
but promised to fill both of her stock
ings with candy if she would hang
them up. And what did that unprin-
cipled female do but sew pair of
striped stockings yard long on to the
legs Of her chemiloon and hang that
elongated complex garment up to
lamp hook in the ceiling. And that
man, he couldn't to save his life tell
where the stocking ended and the loon
enough in three townships to fill it, and
he had to come down with the seal
skin sacque.-Hawkeye.
| A CONTEMPORARY who in one column
acknowledges having received eleven
pen-wipers, three smoking caps, and
sixteen embroidered pincushions as
Christmas presents, has the hardihood
in another column to complain of hard
times. He should remember that
many poor man is actually compelled
to worry through the winter without
solitary pincushion, pen.wiper or smok-
ing cap. He says he would have pre-
ferred a shirt-and this leads to the
belief that he dosen't own any Ulster.
The man with an Ulster, q pair of
boots and a shirt collar can wear other
clothes, but they are not absolutely nee
essary-Noqrssoam Herald.
AN eager young man rang the bell at
a Washington street house Sunday
evening, and the eldest daughter came
with smiles to let him in, and Just as
she opened the door small boy, all
out of breath, reached the front cate
and yelled: "Ho, Jim Bill saws as
how you must come right home. He
says as how faint your turn to wear
that store-shirt this week, no how,
cause you wore it last Sunday, and he
says as how he he's got ointment to
go and see girl over in East Rome.
and amt he just hoppin' mad" The
young man on the doorstep looked as
though there was pain in him some
where.-Ronae Sentinel.