The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1877-04-26
A CARpET-BAGGER STORY.

AlN lNDG1UOO1N, NJ Os3 AAA
A CARPET-BAGGER STORY.
JOHN PATTERSON, SENATOR, so.
CALLED, FROM SOUTH CAROLINA.
A Brief Chronicle of His Theft, Lies,
Perjury and Idiocy.-A Specimen Car
pet-Bag Statesman.
Special Correspondence Ne,c Orleans Democrat.
WASHINGTON, April -, 1877.
After all the woes of South Carolina,
and at the close of her long season of
horrors, there was an element of the lu-
dicrous injected into the final chapter OF
her deliverance, which cannot be suffered
to 90 unremarked without, as Burke
used to say, "eclipsing some part of the
gayety of nations" 1 refer to the antics
of that peculiar individual, John Patter-
son, who, as if the institutions of carpet
baggery required finishing touch of dis
repute to make it the most utterly hate
full abortion of ,deformity that ever
dragged out miserable existence upon
the face of the earth, is known'as "Sen.
ator," and credited to "South Carolina" :"
It is not my present purpose to speak
harshly of John. To speak harshly of
him at this time would be to waste kicks
upon the carcass Of dead dog, with no
other result than to infect the surround
ing atmosphere with bad odors, which
may be avoided by simply leaving the
aforesaid carcass to decompose in peace.
The current supposition respecting John
is, that he is simply vile in every impulse
of his nature and simply vicious in every
fibre of his being. But this estimate is
one-sided. His character presents some
variety Of traits, and is therefore not
altogether uninteresting.
His career to the merely casual OBJ
server undoubtedly presents the aspect
of a low, dull monotony of perfectly
level baseness; but the close observer
soon ascertains that this seeming monot-
ony of baseness is diversified by OCCASION
al chasms of idiocy which, while they
may not despoil the landscape of its gen
eral hideousness, at least relieve its same
ness. Thus the good-natured observer
of Johns career is kept perpetually in
doubt as to whether his acts should be
rated crimes and ascribed to depravity of
soul, or errors, and charged up to feeble
ness of mind; and while there may be
no doubt as to the advisability of his i'm
mediate incarceration, there is a most
perplexing question as to whether his
place of confinement ought in justice to
be a penitentiary or, in mercy and chari-
ty, an asylum for idiots.
It should be remarked, however, that
while Johns viciousness of soul has been
clearly apparent these many years, his
feebleness of mind has been strikingly
developed only of late. You see, it does
not require a powerful mind for the ope-
ration of picking a pocket so long as the
victim is securely held down by able
bodied pals of the thief Thus, while
Grant or those who operated in his name,
held South Carolina pinned to the earth,
John was enabled to pick her pockets
without betraying any feebleness of in
tellect. 1t was an avocation requiring,
under the circumstances, neither adroit-
ness, skill nor courage; nothing was re-
quired, in fact, but mere greed and sim
pie vacuity of morals, with both of which
John is endowed to the extent of genius.
However, any trained monkey, or, per-
haps, an educated hog, could have per-
formed the operation with the same sue
cess under the same circumstances. But
the general public, looking on from a
distance, and intent only upon the
manipulations of the pickpocket, lost sight
of the military garroters, who were real.
ly the chief contributors to the success OF
the operation, imagined that John was
doing an artistic job of light-fngered
work, and straightway dignified him with
the reputation of great, bold and skill
full thief.
Now the institution of carpet-baggery
has, indeed, furnished forth some rare
specimens of the genius thief. Running
over the list-too long to recapitulate-
we discover many names deserving of
real eminence as thieves; mostly sneak
thieves, it is true, but still eminent as
to their kind. But Patterson is not one
of them. He lacks even that low order
of intellectual development requisite to
greatness in the science of theft, and he
could never have obtained the reputation
he has for the peculiar circumstances
which have aided him, and which would
have enabled even an idiot or dumb
brute to steal as much as he has, and
with as little effort of mind or body. AS
to the other phases of Johns reputation
for example, his reputation as liar.
They rest upon an equally precarious
basis. His lies are, like his larcenies,
bungling and maladroit, and usually be-
tray the insanity of the mind that pro-
mulgated them much more strikingly
than turpitude of the soul that gave them
birth. He puts himself on paper one
day and then calls himself a liar the next
by way of recantation, with a sang jroid
that is too amusing to admit of the dis
gust usually excited by such perform
ances.
His earlier exploits as forger and
perjurer were characterized by the same
crudeness. On one occasion, in civil
SulU WuGTG fAlGCh u1CSlulC Neao lIo eNCuoA
ney, John won the case and got verdict
by perjury and subordination thereof
Then, when the Clerk of the Court was
making up the judgment, John was 50
elated with the result that he couldn't
keep to himself the baseness by which it
had been brought about. To his feeble
mind the winning Of that suit by perjury
and subordination of the same was some
thing to boast of, and so he boasted of it
to Mcclure, his attorney. The latter
heard him through and then told him he
must go to the Judge, ask permission to
waive Judgment and offer to settle or
compromise the case without reference to
the verdict of the jury.
John demurred to this advice.
"Well then," said Mcclure, you ID d
scoundrel, if you will not do that, 1 will
go into open Court as as your attorney,
waive Judgment myself, and state the
methods by which you obtained verdict
in YOUR favor; and then, having washed