The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1877-11-06
The Fundamental Principles of Love.

OF the questions relating to love submit
ted to us, the most may be- answered briefly.
There, however occasionally come inquiries
which touch the fundamental principles of
the tender passion, awaken thoughts which
cannot be expressed in few lines. and
arouse sympathy which struggles for
utterancc.
1t is easy for flippant people to laugh at
love. for men into whose composition no SEN
timcnt enters to deridc the SORROWS and per-
poxties OF young men and maidcns who
have learned TO hunger for responsive at
tachmcrt which shall satisfy their hearts.
But what has made poetry, what has vital
lied the drama. what stimulates romance,
what inspires art, what lifts this life Of ours
above the dust Of material toll and ambi-
ton except that gentle passion SO nearly
allied 10 religion II is important there
fore, when an editor has occasion To speak
of love, that he should do IL very conscicn-
tiously, and with a thorough and appre-
ciative understanding of the subject. II he
doesn't do this he il bound To lose the conf
dence OF his readers; for men and women,
simple and learned. are quick 10 detect a
charlatan who tries his hand at that bust
ness They know at once whether his words
are worth listening to, or are Of no real ac-
count.
Therefore II is that THE Sun gives promi-
nent and thoughtful consideration to the
subioned inquiries Of a young lady who
wishes to be instructed concerning tho mum
ife-tations 81 love:
SIR Firs-A fellow IN. been very attentive to Tor
lie very often. and sit- up until ~ or
O'Clock How can get rid OF HIM without benz rude
"~o~i-Is IL best to engage yourself to gentleman
the nr.i time he addresses your
r0i-llow is the best way to tell when fellow is in
esrnest'
FoDos-Is it imprudent to allow gentleman to Kiss
you and hold your hand while engaged to himf
Pleas these que .uons possible and
you Will greatly oblise GRACE MAcpoSAlp
"Nov. A.
When n fellow persists in calling on n
girl, and in keeping her up to an unseemly
hour of the night. refusing to take repeated
hints to spare her the torture, it is not by
any means a sure sign that he is really in
love with her, though he may be- Perhaps
he mistakenly imagines that his CONVERSE
ton IL So valuable and entertaining that IL
affords her both profit and pleasure to lose
her sleep to listen to it, Ii may be that all
the time he is thinking very little about
| her and great deal about himself never
| for moment understanding that he Is a
dreadful bore There are many people who
do not talk to please their hearers, but only
to relieve their own minds of the weight OF
ideas which they fancy rests on them
| They do not listen, for they are satisfied
that they know it all, and SO necd no help
So engrosscd are they with their own words
that they do not take the pains 10 observe
their effect on their unhappy victims. The
only way to deal with such people is TO ily
| their presence, even at the expense OF seem
| ing rude. However, perhaps GRACE MAC
DoNALD's friend only keeps her up half The
night because he doesn't know enough Il
leave, and he may suffer just AS much as
she does. An awkward fellow finds il hare
to 20 when once he has undertaken n call
though he may bc anxious to get outside o.
the door. If this man keeps on making sucl
nuisance Of himself, we advise GRACI
MACDONALD to frankly excuse herself, ano
say that she must get some sleep. That
may bring him to the point and, if he is In
love, force from him the question. to which
she will probably give negative response.
Is ithcst To engage yourself to n gentleman
the first time he addresses you That de
ponds on circumstances, and, especially, th'
state of your heart regarding him. If you ar
very fond Of the fellow, and really wish {
be betrothcd TO him, and he does not MAKE
the offer in conceitcd way which Indicate
that he feels sure Of his prize, ii is the par
OF prudence, ms we'll as Of honesty, TO gran
him the ecstasy Of an acceptance. II, how
ever, though you may like him well enough
you are not quite satisfied that your rcgar'
for him is deeper than that, it is proper t
ask time TO consider the matter II yol
know you can never love him, refuse hin
kindly but firmly. Bear in mind that Al
honest man who offers you his heart show
you a great compliment, and hence deserve
the most considerable treatment at you
hands.
How TO tell when n lover Is in earnest
Well, If from your knowledge Of him an
his character you cannot judge, the bee
way Is to proceed AS If you thought him /
lest or simply playing Part. That will
likely to have the effect OF iousng him W d,
} | fond his truth and earncstness, AS q ruiz