Litchfield enquirer., 1877-12-20
CLIPPINGS.

g CL1rf1NUo.
 An unsatisfactory meal-A domestic broil
 A travelling dentist has hung out the start ling sign-''2th pullin."
 ,- If night air is unwholesome, how about the longevity of owls" AE.E AfAER N.A Nhen iswater most lia6k toescape? When 1t is only half tide.
 The good die early. Likewise, the wicked do -notlive out half their days. We do not un- derStand this. kE-6b AA<xI&as 163 , 88 ., Gall me pet names, something typical of sweet sounds he murmnred- and she said he was gay lute.
 ls Man wastes his mornings in anticipating his afternoons, and wastes his afternoons in re- gretting his mornings. yes 4rHA s~sm.syV < The medical almanac islosing ground among popular literature, because it contains so few local personals.
 Two things in nature are detestable-A girl who is trying to be a woman, and a woman who is trying to be girl @ @
 When your pastor takes part in the stand ard amusement at donation parties, it is prop CT to speak of -Four minister at Copenhagen"
 The man who would raise his hand against Gail Hamilton, except in the way of kindness, would h,m he would be very sorry for it.
 The Patent Office is not seriously affected by the hard times. It is doing it's biggest bus mess now. Necessity is the mother of inven- ton. !t41s. 41.a1&5E EJIIGL .~1ts1fJgO' Some one will soon bring out volume and put stop.t to these silly book titles. It will be Tn< rsn fho Mav ho psryya Me"
 M Hsrsi.es Thomas "a Hnadlestene. Reader don't smile.
 But reflect ss this tombstone you view;
 That Death who killed him, in . very short while,
 VIII huddle stone upon you. ffat i y
 New York has poet named GassaWay and you can bet the dollar of your daddy, or any other man, that he does nottbelie his cogno- men. men. 8f.f3 Baa t3gnf t 1r3,Qy<ss
 The owner of gardenkept the tramps from making . short cut through it by the alarming notice: 'Beggars, Beware! Scolopendriums and Polypodiums planted here"
 Smith (after telling regular oneso: Las sure you. Jones, if I hadn't seen it myself wouldn't have believed it. Jones Hahn well, you know, didn't see it.
 The ladies are all down on the telephone. They don't like to have fellow whispering in their ear with his mouth like Sheridan at Win chester, twenty miles away. @
 Our modest young men will breathe easier when some ingenious chap invents & turkey carving contrivance which works with crank like an apple parer. 5-'io.--t
 A poor young man remarks that the only advice he gets from capitalists is to live with in his income" whereas the difficulty he ex- periences is to live without an income.
 A man who has been an inveterate smoker for twenty years has suddenly and permanent ly given up the practice. He knocked the ashes of his pipe into keg of blasting pow der.
 4 "A dear little four-year-old girl, in her deep reverence for the Almighty, could never be persuaded to say God; it was always MT. bod" "Why, mamma, it isn't spectful to say bod; it's Mir. bod, of course"
 The experienced editor can always tell at sight the man who comes in with his first at- tempt at original poetry. He walks on tiptoe, and looks as though he had just passed acoun- terfeit bill or strangled baby. ,as3 .1..e.
 During cholera times an undertaken, being asked by a lady who was employing him at some household work whether he would have 8 glass now or wait till he had finished the job, ''I'll be takin' the glass noo, mem," said the artisan, 'for there's been & power O sud- den deaths lately" ,,- --........f ,-..
 Professor describing ancient Greek theatre); And it had no roof" Junior (sure he has caught professor in mistake): t'What did they do, sir, when 1t rained Sn Professor (tak- ing off his glasses and pausing for moment): They got wet, sir" r;s55
 A teacher was instructino her lowest class in natural history. Her subject was the cat. Afterward she proceeded to question her schol- ars. At last she said to the smallest of her boys, Johnny, what does your mother keep a cat for?" "To lay kittens" was the reply The questioning came to an abrupt end Bishop Clark of Rhode Island once Swentto seeone of his parishioners, a lady with pro- digiots family, which had recently been in creased As .he rose to leave,s the lady stopped him with But you haxent seen my last baby" ''No," he quickly replied, ''and 1 never expect to-" Then he fled
 Adam Scott had boy Rob who was great terror to him. He prayed very earnestly for him, and once in this wise "Oh, Lord, ha'e mercy on Rob. Ye ken yoursel he is a wild callant, and thinks nae mair O committing sin than dog does O licking a dish but put thy hook in his nose and thy bridle in his gab, and gar him come back to thee wi jerk that he'll nae forget the longest day he has to live"
 Archbishop Cullen was making his periodi- call tour of inspection in the Dublin. Sunday, schools. Kate Molony," said he to an intel ligent-i looking girl "explain the meaning of the holy matrimony." A pause. At last Katere piled, 'Please. yer honorr it's the state of ex- isteRce before entering purgatory." ''Go to the bottom of the class, you ignorant girl,"' cried out the local clergyman, very much ashamed of "Not so fast--not so fast, The lass may be right after alE What do you or know about it?" *<ss