Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1877-05-12
FACTS AND FANCIEs.

Ai"i I'i'i-77 gdae- Inc iull grown young
man who calls his mother his "maw,6
his father his paw"
CHILD, haven't ! told Won not To
stand so much before the qlass2, " WHY.
mother, you told me to read and reflect
have been reading and now I am re-
decting"
A GERMAN humorist remarks that
Baker has discovered the sources of the
| Nile; they lie far TO the seuth--a good
deal iurther to the south than he has dis
covered them"
A sPINsTER lady of nifty years re.
marked lately that she could 60 alone at
six months old. Yes, said her hateful
halfbrother, &" and you have been going
alone ever since"
THE Hawkeye man says: A gifted
contributor sends US a poem beginning
"Open the door to the children You'd
better, if you don't want all the paint
kicked off the panels"
Why, Sammy" said father to his
little son lately, "I didn't know that
your teacher whipped you Friday" 81
guess" replied Sammy, if you had
been in my trowsers you'd know'd it,"
JOHN ADAMS wrote in 1777: "Gen.
Washington sets a fine example. He has
banished wine from his table, and enter
tains his friends with rum and water,
This is much to the honor of his wisdom,
his policy, and his patriotism"
How manv of you ale there?" asked
a voice from an upper window OF a sere-
nading party. Four" was the reply.
Divide that among you" said voice,
as bucket of slops fell, 'like the gentle
dew of heaven on those beneath"
THE hydrophobia editorof the Detroit
Post says: "The truth is, cats have
genuine nydropbobia much more fre-
quently than dogs. But cats with
hydrOphobia are not dangerous like dogs.
A mad cat retires to the most secret dark
hole it can find, and dies there. If
molested it may bite; but it attacks no
person or animal 50 long as It's let alone"
A BISHOP lately ordained young gen.
tleman as deacon, and then felt it neces-
sarv to send ior the clergyman who had
recommended him. "What may your
lordrhip want with me?" AZ wish sir, to
speak about that young man." What
young man, your lordship? "The
young man, sir, whom | ordained. !
want you to keep him in check l had
great difficulty, sir, in keeping him from
examining me-"
AS a fond mother when the day is Ger,
Leads by the haud her little child to bed,
Hall willing, half reluctant 10 be led,
And leaves his trsken payihng, on the floor,
Still ziDg Al them through the open door,
Nor wholly reasSuTe1 ana c0mi0rted
By promises Of others In their stead,
Which, though more splendid may not please
him more:
So Nature deals with US, and takes away
Our pavthngs one by one, and by the hand
Leads rs TO rest So gently, that we 60,
Scarce knowing II We wish to 20 or stay,
Being too ful! Of sleep to understand
How far the unknown tIanscelds the what We
know.
A YOUNG married couple Of Montrose
Iowa, who had lived together for some
years, concluded they would he happier
apart. Accordingly they had their
effects sold at auction and divided the pro-
ceeds. Before parting to go their several
ways, the man advanced to shake hands
with his wife, but she waived him of,
saying, "Go along; I've had enough of
you"
NIGHT before last tired, discouraged
man out on North Hill went home and
flung himself down on q lounge, and said
'he wished he were dead, dead, dead"
In two hours he was writhing in pre-
mature and unreasonable attack of
cholera morbus, and howled, and prayed.
and sweat, and had four doctors in the
house, and drank a quart Of medicine,
and had mustard plaster smeared all
over him, and wept, and said he wasn't
half tended to, and he believed they
would like to see him die -HarE@e.
HERE is an English public-school boys
meditation on the subject Of " COnceit:"
" COnceit is a very bad thing, Some
people are conceited about their name,
family pedigree or anything else, This
also is conceit. Women also are mostly
COZ ceited, also about their hair eyes and
teeth, and anything else. COnceit is also
very bad The author of the above gem
is as much at home in the fields of Wig
orous and picturesque description as in
the regions o subtle and metaphysical
ANALYSIS. as witnesseth this thrilling epi.
sode on a shipwreck Picture to
yourselves the poor sailors and the men
the women and the children, also the
passengers, clinging tentatiously to the
masts and the roaring billowsI'