The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1877-05-01
NUMBER 1891.


The Druggists in Augusta, Me-. bav
agreed not to sell or give away any j.
quor, either for medicine or other usss.
Think Of Il. A homsopsthic phsr.
macy at Geneva, N. Y, made aud sold
six tons Of ''inAnitesimal" pills last
year.
A personal editor. two shot-guns and
o -four sack OF assorted type, are said
to complete the outfit Of . Black Hills
newspaper Office. Is4E
A Lancaster tailor boasts that he hes
lately measured q lad not quite Is years
old, whose breast measured So inches,
waist 60 inches, and hips " inches.
Mamma to Edith. her youngest, aged
six-"What was the name OF the drst
man, dear?" Edith-"Adam." Mann
ma-"Goodl Now tell me the name Of
the first woman?" Edith (aftsr Q pauss)
-"Madam."--[N. Y. Mail.
Bayard Taylor said: 1T is Q with
ering commentary upon our modern
costume that no sculptor has dared, or
ever will dare, TO model statute wear.
ing stovepipe hat" Thsn the Prince
Of Wales went out and purchased .
crushed hat Boston Post.
An excellent old deacon, who having
won a fine turkey ct q charity rattle.
didn't like TO tell his severe Orthodox
wife how he came by II, quietly remark
ed, ms he handed her the turkey, that
the Shakers gave it TO him."
"Now, my young friend. can you tell
me who Leonidas was?" "Yes sir, he
was O member OF the Legislature.
"And what makes you think he was .
member of the Legislature?" BE
cause, sir, he held pass with Spartan
hrmness. Louisville Courier Journal.
The question arising in Q Sunday
School as to why God created all the
animals Of the fields and sea andair
before man, no one gave solution un.
til little boy said: 'I know; it's be-
cause he didn't want the man hanging
around while he was making EN-
New York Tribune.
A coach passing along o country
road had nearly run over Q servant
girl, when the coachman cried out,
"Take care Sallyi" The girl, without
attempting to escape the danger, look
ed MP at the coachmsn with an air OF
offended pride and said, 1T isn't Sal
", or any other such low common and
vulgar stuff-it's Amelia Ann"
"It is Q slander," writes friend,
"to suppose that the Long Branch ho.
tel keepers have anything to do with
wrecking steamships in the vicinity,
although it is currently reported that
when the Amerique is moved toward
the ocean during the day, the hotel
men pull her back at night. 1t has,
however, long been known that their
summer prosperity is largely depend.
ent upon 'puli.backs. n"
Mrs. Partington says that Just before
the late war, circumstances were seen
around the moon nightly. shooting
stars parambulsted the earth, the desk
OF the sun was covered with black
spots Of ink, and comics swept the hor-
izon with their operatic tales. Every.
body said that il profigated war,
and sure enough war did come.
Instructor in stronomy-"And nov,
young gentlemen, which of you can
tell me the name OF the planets-the
champion planet, so to speak-of our
solar system!' Student-"I can, sir;
it's Saurn." Instructor, hesitatipgly--
"And how's that, pray2" Student
"Why, because he carries the belt"
Instructor dismisses the class without
further comment.
"Got any pocket hankerchers2" said
q small soiled boy, with the chief part
OF his wardrobe hanging from hif
shoulder by one suspender, and bun.
die OF newspapers under his arm. The
shopkeeper stared for q moment, but
hard times had made even small pur
chasers desirable, and he answered
blandly: "Here you are sonny; al
linen; fifteen cents.n The young mer
chant cast scornful look at him and
said: 81 wonder at your shown then
cotton sieves 10 en'lemen. / want
suthin' in fancy silk, with chance for
my monogram in the corner
Where's there fust-class dry-goods
house round here, young fellerT' And
he got out Of the door just in ad.
vance OF q shower of yardsticks ano
scissors. Boston Commercial Bulle
tin.