The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1877-04-05
Table Wit OF Douula. Jerrofss..,

In repartee Jerrold excelled most of
his contemporaries; he was man OF
cheerful nature, who loved to raise q
hearty laugh, though the means were
sometimes misunderstood and misrep-
resented. A jest's prosperity often
reaches sore places and causes the hear
ers to vince, although the jester has
not in his minds eye the persons who
take to themselves the fitting cap. Mr..
Blanchard Jerrold, in his gracefully
written life of his father, has recorded
the following instances of his ready
wit. They are full of point and finish;
still, in reading, they have not the in
Simultaneous effect, the flash and fIe,
which none but those who heard them
could fully enjoy. The utter absence
of effort in their utterance, or concelt
as to their worth, was their great rec
ommendation. Mr.. Blanchard Jerrold,
loquitUr:
"A dinner is discussed. Douglas
Jerrold listens quietly, possibly tired Of
dinners, and declining pressing invita-
tions to be present. In a few minutes
he will chime in, If an earthquake
were to engulph England tomorrow
the English would manage to meet and
dine somewhere among the rubbish,
just to celebrate the event."
"a friend drops in, and walks across
the smoking room to Douglas Jerrold's
chair. The friend wants to enlist Mr..
Jerrold's sympathies in behalf of q
mutual acquaintance who Is in want of
u rouHd sum of money. But this mu--
tual friend has already sent his hat
1 ahnttt hfa kfararv hraAhran
more than one occasion. Mr.. .....'s
hat is becoming an institution, and
friends were grieved at the indelicacy
of the proceeding. On the occasion
to which l now refer, the bearer Of tho
hat was received by my father with
evident dissatisfaction. We'll, said
Douglas Jerrold, how much does
...... want this timer why, Just a
four and two noughts will, / think,
put him straight the bearer replied.
Jerrold-'Well, put me down for one
of the noughts.'"
''An old gentleman, whom I will
call Prosy Very, was in the habit of
meeting my father, and pouring long,
poIntless stories into his impatient
ears. On one occasion Prosy related
a long, limp account of q stupid, prac-
teal joke, concluding with the infor-
nation that the effect of the joke was
so potent 'he really thought he should
have died with laughter Jerrold-
i wish to heaven you had.'"
"The Chain of Events playing at
the Lyceum Theater, is mentioned.
'Humphp said Douglas Jerrold, I'm
afraid the manager will find it door
chain strong enough to keep everybody
out OF his house,"
"Then some somewhat lackadaisi-
cal young members drop in. They
opine that the club is not sufficiently
West i the hint at something near Pail
Mall, and little more style. Douglas
Jerrold rebukes them. mo, no, gen
tleman, not near Pail Mall we might
catch coronets.'"
Another of these young gentlemen,
who has recently emerged from the
humblest fortune and position, and ex-
ulting in the social consideration Of his
new elevation, puts aside his antece-
dents. Having met Douglas Jerrold
in the morning., while on horseback,
he ostentatiously says to him, We'll,
you see Pm all right at lastp 'Yes,'
Is the reply, Il sec you still ride upon
your cat's-meat.'"
"a stormy discussion ensues, during
which a gentleman rises to settle the
matter in dispute. Waving his hands
majestically over the excited disput-
ants, he begins: Gentlemen, all
want is common sense. - 'Exactly,'
Douglas Jerrold interrupts, that is
precisely what you do want The dis
cussion is lost in a burst of laughter.
Brown drops in. Brown is said, by
all his friends, to be the toady Of Jones.
The appearance Of Jones in room 10
the proof that Brown is in the passage.
When Jones has the influenza Brown
dutifully catches a cold IN the head.
ID. j. to Brown: Have you heard the
rumor that's flying about town. No.
Well, they say Jones pays the dog
tax for you.'"
Douglas Jerrold is seriously disap-
pointed with q certain book written by
one of his friends, and has expressed
his disappointment. Friend-T hear
you said ...... . was the worst book /
ever wrote Jerrold-' No, didn't;
/ said it was the worst book anybody
ever wrote.'"
''Of Nelson he would talk by the
hour, and some of his more passionate
articles were written to seattle the
government that left Horatio-Nel-
sons legacy to his country-in want.
1t was difficult to persuade him, never
theless, that a man did wisely in send
ing his son to sea. A friend called on
him one day to introduce youth, who,
smitten with a love for the salt, was
about to abandon position he held in
q silk manufacturers establishment,
for the cockpit. 'Humph2 said the
ex-midshipman of the Ernest, so
you're going to sea. To what depart
ment Of industry, may l inquire, do
you now give your exertions2' Silk
briefly responded the youth. We'll,
go to sea, and it will be worsted.'"