Connecticut western news., 1877-08-03
HUMOROUS.

I THAT EMERSON NBOY.-That Euiersor boy is dead, and there Is no one around that house to make fun. He was $ cheerful. lively boy, and he did his best to make that household put on the mantei of joyfulness. Emerson often remarked that Bob didn't seem ever to sit down and think of the grave and death, and probably he never did. F No, Bob wasn't of that make. He wanted to have fun. Both his ears were nearly worn up by being cuffed so much, aldit took whole row of currant bushes to furnish whips to dust This jacket for the summer. =
 Emerson didn't know what fun was until Bob was eight years old. Then the boy began to launch out. He would bore gimlet-holes in the bottom of the water bucket, put cartridges in the coal stove, unscrew the door knobs, fill the kerosene lamp with water, and a good thrashing didn't burden his mind over five minutes. Sometimes his father would take him by the hair and yank him up to the sofa and sit down and ask:
 ssRobert Parathon Emerson, what in blazes ails ye?"
 ''It's the yaller jaunders, guess," Bob would meeklv reply.
 ''Robert, don't you want to be an angel ?" the old man would continue.
 "And have wings?"
 'Yes, my son."
 "And fly higher'n a kite ?"
 "Yes."
 "And fight hawks?' ss."
 3"Y-e-s, l guess so.' 5tS
 }"Bet your beef I would-whop 1! Bully for the angelsr' -
 That's sacrilege, that is !'' the old man would remark, and he would jerk Bob's hair some more, and declare that the young rascal was bound for the gallows. After lying under the pear tree for six minutes Bob would recover from his sadness and go over to the barn, and run the pitchfork through the strawcutter, harness up the COW and stick pins into the family horse,
 One night he brought home a wolf trap and set it in the middle of the woodshed floor to catch a rat. He cl1uckled a good, deal that evening at the thought of what would happen to the rats, and he fell asleep and he dreamed that he was a hand-organ, and that some one stole the crank to him, so that he could not be played on. Just before going to bed old Emerson went out after scuttle of coal and he stepped his bootless foot into that trap. He made mighty spring and uttered a mighty yell, and it took two men ten minutes to spring the trap off his leg.
 sIt's that boys work!" he groaned, as he nursed his foot, and he took up the boot-jack, limped into the bedroom, and gave Bob terrible clip just as the child was dreaming about playing base- ball with mermaid.
 ''I'll pound ye to death if ye, don't stop this foolishness 2" cried the old man; but he hadn't been out of the bedroom ten minutes before Bob was planning to stop up the chimney next day and smoke everybody out of the house. It wasn't many days before he fixed darning-needle in the cushion of his fathers armchair and bounced the old man three feet high, and his licking hadn't got over smarting before he exploded a fire-cracker in his mothers snuff-box. That night the old man said to him as he took him bv the ear:
 "Robert Parathon Emerson, do you ever think of where you will go tor"
 Yes, sir" he answered.; "I'n go to bed purity soon."
 Then he got another mauling and went to bed to dream that he was a three-tined pitchfork, and that man was using him to load hay with.
 Poor boy! Even three days before he died, and while on his dying bed, he managed to slip an eight-ounce tack into his fathers left boot, and got up another clrcus.-Detrow Free Press.
 A SCOTCH LAIRD riding past deep