Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1877-05-03
No. "a
ak. SORTS.


croakers
PALACE cars with bath rooms are the latest
-rushin' baths, so to speak.
To keep the head cool and the feet warn!
| wear an ice hat and tight boots.
Mon PETER c. SHANNON has been REAP
pointed Chief Justice of the Territory of
Dakota
WHEN a man of talent is made knight in
England, be modestly remarks that it was Il
Sir-prize to Iirn.
A CITIZEN Of Minneapolis ilinn, says that
if he is ever to be Mayor Of the city, the Of
fee must seek him, the same as bis creaito,s
do.
A UNION moultler, who has been arrestcts
in Troy for disorderly conduct, is named
Canary. They ought to send him to Sing
Sing.
GENERAL IGNATlFF received salary of
$92, 900 while Russian Minister at CONSTANT
nople, and had 81 functionaries under his
| control.
NOTWITHSTANDING Sec'y Schurz's ayowed
hostility to rings in the Interior Department,
it seems his first act has been to select A Bell
| as his assistant.
THE Graphic claims that there is too much
of irreverent and unromantic detail in the
statement that Senator Davis covers 125 square
inches when he sits down.
A YOUNG lady who has suffered from ''bag-
| gage smashers" has had her trunks covered
with flannel this season, having heard that
flannel was good chest protector.
CATNIP has begun to show its green leaves
above the cold earth. and now why can't the
felines cease their racket for while as they
steal down upon the juicy provinder
JOSH BILLINGS says: "The mewl is lar
gel bird than the guse or turkey. 1t has two
legs to walk with, and two more to kick with,
and wears its wings on the side of its he'd
| & POOR young man remarks, that the only
| advice he gets from capitalists is ''to live
| within your income ;" whereas the difficulty
he experiences is to live without all income.
Mr. TlLDEN has informed David Dudley
Field that any further attempt on his part to
| induce him to operate with the quo acnrrdnt0
process will result in permanent rupture be-
tween them.
The quantity of air inhaled and exhalcd
by an adult in twenty-four hours amounts on
an average to about $50 cubic feet or 1000
gallons, making an aggregate of 730, 600 gal
Ions in year.
A BILL. to allow husband and wife to testi-
fy against each other has been killed in the
permission was given nobody else would have
chance to say anything.
THE Porte cannot persuade Russia to with
draw her troops from the banks of the Pruth.
If bis Sultanship would engage Wade Hamp-
ton to talk to the Gar a short time the thing
might be accomplished.
BEFORE par]oning convicts. Governor Cul-
lon, of Illinois, publishes all applications for
pardOns, with the names OF the signers. 1t
has decidedly cooling effect on the habtual
signer of everybody's petition.
REFERRING to the manner in which Mr..
Clark Adams has manipulated the roll of the
next House, the New York Tribune suggests
that he evidently thinks himself bigger man
than the whole Electoral Commission.
INSANITY, once unknown among the ne
groes, has become great and growing afflc-
tion. To relieve it Virginia has established
an Insane Asylum for Negroes-the only one
in the world-where more than 800 of them
are cared for.
IT is hoped that not cent of the several
millions about to be expended for Indian sup
plies will be used to purchase fixed ammuni-
ton. To give the Indians fixed ammunition
is worse than giving raving lunaticth free
dom of society.
A MANUFACTURES at Pittsfeld. Mass, who
exhibited carriage rugs and blankets at the
Centennial Exhibition, has received orders
from South America, Norway, Sweden and
Russia, and has been obliged to enlarge his
mill to supply the demand.
As cheering instance of educational pro-
gress in Texas, it is stated that all boys over
five years of age, attending public schools in
that State are now imperatively required to
take off their bowie-knives and revolyers be-
fore entering the school-room.
THE best advisers in the world say marry
young, but Moody tells the Boston girls never
to marry at ALL rather than to MARRY misbe-
levers, and this in the face of the fact that
there are 10000 girls in the Old Bay State
who cannot get husbands at any price.
Dr. Do LEw1s having eaten al! the oat
meal food to be ''1t.inrG IN Massachusetts. is
now going to settle in San Francisco and eat
all the sponge cake, mince pies, scalloped
oysters, and other delicacies the market af-
fords, for the purpose of curing bad case
of the dyspepsia. ...
OFFICERS in the army Of Saxony are not
allowed to marry until they are assured of an
income of about $3.50 per annum, and, al
though they are expected to live in good style
and to dress IN such a manner as to be at any
time presertable at court, this is thought to
be enough for their comfortable support.
Some one sensibly says: The most agreea-
BILE of all companions is a simple, frank man,
without any high pretensions to an oppres-
sive greatness; one who loves life, and un-
derstands the use of it; obliging alike at all
hours; above all, of golden temper, and
steadfast as an anchor For such one we
gladly exchange the greatest genius, the most
4 >s-1,2