, 1877-11-16
Numerous Waits,


Put It on the back OF a note.
" you want to keep mos qui;oes out of
/ your bed room, sleep On the roof
ANDRoMEDA misses one Of the luxuries
Of life-she can't laugh in her sleeve.
/ A WOMAN in Boston has named one If
her hens "Macdutf,' so that il NAV Law
on.
THg Rochester Democrat thinks Char.
ley Ross was deposited in Chicsgo Saw.
ings Bank.
To make both ends meet-put your toe
in your mouth. We advise men, only.
"toe" il.
GENERAL HOWARD must want Chief
Joseph for lecture bureau. He is GER
tainly very much afraid of hurting him.
AN orator declaring that fortune
Knocked at every mans door once, an old
lrishman said: "When she knocked at
mine must have been out"
STAGE MANAGER TO call boy) "John,,
see if the ballet are dressed" John IRE
turning) "Yes, sir, about ready; they've.
nearly got their clothes off,"
A HOME thrust. Doctor: "Now tell
me, Colonel, how do you feel when you've
killed manl" Colonel: "Oh, very we'll,
thank you, Doctor. How do your
WE think Mark Twain must be bored
sadly by the manufacturers of new styles.
of goods. They all insist, by their print
ed labels, that he shall "Trade, Mark"
A LITTLE girl, day or two since,
while watching the rain, turned to her
mother and said, "Ma, guess the wealth
er's so warm it's melting the Clouds"
TINES don't grow much better, and
families which have long ago stopped
taking paper are now seriously thinking
of selling one of the dogs.- Worcester
Press.
A GOOD many country teams are bur-
glarizipg in country tDwns. They are
good cracksmen and generally make an
inner and then an outer.-Ne,n Yorh
Herald.
"MADAME," said an impeltinent board
er to his landlady, "your butter is too aris-
tocratic for my democratic taste. 1t is
one of the cases in which sweetness is
preferable to rank"
A POSTAL CARD was lately received
at the Fitchburg, Mass, post Office, ad
dressed to "Mr k, the man that works
in the factory and got the carload of po-
tatoes at Whitefeld, N. H., last year,
WHEN you kiss San Francisco girl,
she holds her breath until you get
through, and then flares up, goes into the
next room, and smacks her lips for u,
whole hour.
A GOOD little boy who was kicked bya,
mule did not say naughty words or go
home crying to his mother He just tied,
the mule within five feet of beehive,
backed him round to it and let him kick.
''I SAY, Paddy, that is the worst-lo
ing horse you drive l ever saw. Why
don't you fatten him up2" "Fat him up,
is itl Faix! the poor baste can hardly
carry the little mate that's on him nOw,"
replied Paddy.
The best way to cure boil is to get
fine ripe peach-a cling stone is better
peel it carefully, eat it--then take the
skin, place it on the asphaltum sidewalk
in front of Baldwin's--and when the boil
isn't looking slipup on the peel.
AT an Eastern oregon wedding, the
bride in playful mood kicked the
groom's hat off without touching his
head. All we'll enough if after time
her dGxterity don't take turn and kick
his head off without touching his hat.
AN Irishman fresh from the "od
country" saw turtle for the first time,
and ut once made up his mind to capture
it. The turtle caught him by the finger,
and he, holding it out at arms'length,
said, Faith, and ye had better let loose
the how'll ye have, or I'll kick ye out Oh
the very box ye sit in, be jabbers."
A LITTLE Athol boy, guilty of some
misconduct, upon being asked why he
could be 50 naughty, replied that he
thought he was not doing anything
wrong. "That's no excuse" said his
mother, shrinking doesn't help the mat
ter" "Well, momma," said he, "what's
the use of having thinker, if you can't
think2"
OLD DR.. Hunter used to say, when he
could not discover the cause of mans
sickness, "Well try this and we'll try
that. Well shoot into the tree, and II
anything falls, well and good" aye"
replied wag, 81 fear this is too cum-
monty the case, and in your shooting
nto the tree, the first thing that gener-
ally falls is the patient"
"SMoKING in Holland" said travel
ler, '"is so common that it is impossible
to tell one person from another in loom
full of smokers" "How is anyone who
happens to be wanted picked out, then"
asked listener. ooh, in that case a