The Findlay Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Hancock County, Ohio) 1870-1881, 1877-05-18


which shall be in the custody of the
manager, and the second in that of the
accountant and cashier.
But, you say again, -as long as you
had one key, what did you want with
two?7 There. / own that The regula
tions are obscure They were drawn uI
by somebody without any literary skill
If they'd consulted me about EN-,
could have suggested a good many i'm
provements. What they meant to ga,
was, that the safe was to be secured b,
two locks, and that a key to each, no
interchangeable the one with the other
was to be in the custody, etc. Now, vol
understand why / wanted Mr.. COUSINS
key.
"Eh, my?7 said the servant, openins
her mouth wide. "and what might yor
want Mr.. Cousins keys for?"
Just as stupid as you, you see. / wa.
mad with the girl L own l always ge
out of temper with these Yorkshire peo
pie. If you ask 'em the simplest ques
ton, first they open their mouths and
cape at you. When you've repeated the
question twice, they shut their mouth:
and think for a bit Then the ides
seems to reach the thing that does duty
with them for brains and excites sorI
Of reflex action, for, by jingo, instead ol
answering your question, they go and
! ask you one. And that makes me SC
mad. Oh, they're a very dense race
these Yorkshire people.
@Why, to open the safe, you stupid"
said |. "Where is he?"
Don't We know says she.
Know I cried, in a rage. Why
should l ask you if l did know
Didn't thou know that he were al
that house,"
All, so he was I'd nearly forgotten
that he was one of the guests at my
wife's party. Clearly, couldn't get the
safe open, and I didn't like to leave the
money in my desk, thinking I'd give it
to Cousins with my key, to put it in the
safe when / returned.
A nice mess / got into when reached
home, for you see it had been arranged
tnat was to go up stairs and dress be-
fore anybody came, and then my room
was to be made ready for the ladies to
take their bonnets off-for they were
not all carriage people. Well, you never
saw such thing. When i got home
and crept up stairs to dress-the people
had all come, so the servant said-there
were six muffs and four bonnets, five
pork pie hats, and half dozen shawls OH
the bed; and one lady had left her every
day curls hanging over the looking glass.
Upon my word, really don't like to
perform my toilet among these feminine
gear; and there was no lock on the door;
and my dress clothes were all smothered
up amongst these muffs and things.
But got through pretty well, and had
just got one of my legs into my trousers,
when bang-atrop-dop-dop' such a rattle
at the knocker, and / heard ray wife
scuttling away into the hall They were
the Markbys, our trump cards. who kept
their own carriage, and everything
grand
so kind of you; my dear" said my
wife, kissing Mrs. Markby most affec-
tionately. Icould hear the report where
| stood.
so delighted, Really, how nicely,
how beautifully you arrange everything
can't have things so nice, with ALI my
servants and
run up stairs, dear, do said my wife;
you know the room-my room, right
hand at the top of the stairs"
heard the fiutter of female wings on
the stairs What was to do? If could
have managed the other leg wouldn't
have minded, but l couldn't. hadn't
worn those dress things for n coed while,
and / don't get any thinner us grow
older: No, for the life OF me, ! couldn't
dispose of that other leg at such short
notice. What could l do? Icould only
rush to the door and set my back against
it. Did tell you this was our house
warming party? l think not. Did /
tell you our landlord had altered the
house for us, making our bed room larger
by adding slip that had formed sep
arate room? j think not; and yet l
ought 10 have told you all these cir
cumstances to enable you to under
stand the catastrophe that followed. In
a word, the door opened outward. I'd
forgotten that peculiarity-never having
had room so constituted before, and
never will again. The door went open
with crash, and bounded backward
into Mrs. Markby's arms. Sm.lling-salts
and sal volatile, was there ever such an
untoward affair? The music struck up for
the dances as / hoped back into my
room. hid my head among the holsters
and muffs, and almost cried, for I'm such
a delicate minded man. Yes, it hurt me a
good deal more than it did Mrs. Markby,
for-would you believe it?-she told the
story down below to the whole company,
with pantomic action; when L showed
myself at the door of the drawing room /
was received with shouts ofinextinguish-
able laughter. think / called the York
shire people dense just now didn't L?
Well, Ill add another epithet-coarse-
dense and coar.e. told em so,but they
only laughed the more. The guests were
gone, the lights were out; slumber had
just visited my eyes, when right into my
barn, starting me as if | had been shot,
came noise sort of dull bursting noise.
wasn't certain at first whether / had
heard a noise or only dreamed of it. l
set up in bed and listened intenty. Was
it only my pulse humping into. my ears,
or we're those regular beats the tramp Of
somebody's muffied feet? Then | heard
an unmistakable sound-creak, creak,
creak-a door being opened slowly and
cautiously All il moment the idea
flashed into my head-twenty-two thou
sand dollars, You see, all this dancing
and junketinga and laughing and chatting,
had completely driven out ofmy mind all
thought of the large sum l had in my
possession. had leftitin my great coat
pocket, which was hanging up in the hall
down stairs. Puff a gust Of wind came