The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1877-12-27
Now. or Them


decorous. This may be true, and tried
to be sufficiently deferential to my court
~ host, not to disagree with him. But
when l look upon the young people of
my own acquaintance, | recall that Will
liam went, rs a matter of course, to put
the ladies in their carriage; Jamie took
the hand luggage as naturally as if he
were born for nothing else; Frank never
failed to open door for them; Arthur
placed Maggie in her chair at table be-
fore he took his own; Nelly and Ruth
came to my party just as sweet and bright
as if they did not know that the young
gentlemen whom they had expected to
meet were prevented from attending;
while Lucy will run herself out of breath
for you, and Mary sits and listens with
tlattering intentness, and Anne and Alice
and--well, looking over my constituency,
l find the young people charming.
| is true that all manners are less for
NAL, that etiquette is less elaborate, now
than Il hundred years ago. Our GRANDPA
theirs and OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES indeed,
of our fathers and mOthers-did not sit
at breakfast with their fathers and moth
els, but stood through the meal, and
never spoke except when spoken TO. l
cannot say | think We have deteriorated
in changing this. The pleasant, famil-
lar, atfectionate intercourse between pa
rent and child seems to me one of the
most delightful features of domestic life.
The real, fond intimacy which exists be-
tween parents and children seems far
better and safer thing than the old fashion
of keeping children at arms length.
But in casting aside forms we are, per-
haps, somewhat in danger of losing with
them some of that inner kindness of
which form is only the outward express
sion. Without admitting that we are an
uncisil people, insisting even that 1--WE
compare tavorably with other nations, |
wish our boys and girls would resolve
that the courtesy of the Republic shall
never suffer in their hands
Does this seem trivial aim for those
who are bending their energies to attain
high standing in classics and mathe-
mates! There is perhaps no single quail
ity that does as much to make life smooth
and comfor,able-yes, and successtul-as
courtesy. No man can be agreeable
without courtesy, and every separate act
of incivility creates its little, or large,
and ever charging circle of displeasure
and unhappiness.
One does not wish to go through life
trying to be agreeable: but life Is great
failure if one goes through it disagree
able.
Yes, little friends, believe me, you may
be very learned, very skilltul, very &C
complished. trust you are; hope you
will become more 50. You may even
have sound principles and good habits
but if people generally do not like you,
it is because there is something wrong in
yourself, and the best thing you can dc
Is TO study out what it is and correct il
as fast as possible. Do not for moment
fancy it il because you are superior to
other people that they dislike you, for
superiority never, Of itself, made per.
son unlovely. 1t is invariably defect
of some sort. Generally it is q defec,
arising from training, and therefore pos
sible to overcome.
For instance: two girls in the country
have each a pony phaeton. One drives
her sisters, her family, her guests, her
equals, and never thinks of going outside
that circle. Another does the same ; but,
more than this, she often takes the cook,
the laundress, or the one woman who
often is cook, laundress, hOuse-maid, all
in one. And to them the drive is a far
greater luxury than to her own comrades,
Who would be playing croquet or riding
if they we're not with her. Now and
then she invites some poor neighbor, she
takes some young seamstress or worsted-
worker to town to do her shopping, she
carries the tired housewife to see her
mother, she asks three little grls-some-
what crowded but rapturously happy
three miles to see the balloon that has
alirhted on the hill; she drives a wild
owed old mother in Israel to y tea-drink
ING of which she would otherwise be de-
prived. These are not charities. They
are courtesies, and this bright-faced girl
il sunshine in her village home, and, by
and by, when her box Of finery is by some
mistake left ut the station, a stalwart
youngster, unbidden, shoulders it and
bears it, painting and perspiring, to her
door. step. declaring that he would not
do it for another person in town but Miss
Fanny And perhaps he does not even
say Mss Fanny-only Fanny. Now she
could get on very well without the vii
layers admiring affection, and even with
out her box of finery; yet the good will
of your neighbors is exceedingly pleas
ant.
Another thing Fanny excels in is the
acknow ledgment of courtesy, which is
itself AS great courtesy AS the perform
ance of Kindness. If she is invited to a
lawn party or boating picnic, whether
she accepts or not. she pays visit to her