davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-07-27

the sun. The last man will be sunstruck
5. The amount Of water on the earth is
slowly diminishing, and simultaneously
the air is losing in quantity. Finally, the
earth will be an arid waste, like the moon.
The last man will be suffoeated.
6, Other suns have disappeared, and
ours must, sooner or later, blaze up and
then disappear. The intense heat of the
confagration will kill every living thing
on earth. The last man will be burned
up.
{. The suns fire will gradually burn out,
and the temperature will cool. The earth )
glacial zones will enlarge, driving our race
ttwArd the equator, until the habitable
space will lessen to nothing. The last man
will be frozen to death.
8. A gradual cooling Of the earth will
produce enormous assures, ike those seen
in the moon. The surface will become
extremely unstable, until the remnant of
humanity will take refuge in caves. The
last man will be crushed in his subterra-
mean retreat.
8. The earth will at last separate into
small fragments, leaving the people with
out any foothold. The last man will have
dreadful fall through space.
10. The tenth theory, proving that there
will be no last man at all, is thus expressed
Evolution does not necessarily imply
progress, and possibly the race may have
refrigerated unil the human being pos
sesses the nature Of the plant louise such
being the case, this single inhabitant will
spontaneously produce posterity of both
sexes"
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-07-27
Hanging Rr THE HaeIa

A Paris letter says: The authorities o
Soudan, near Chateaubriant, recently de
sired TO remove the rusty cock that sur
mounted the church steeple. 4 slater wa
engaged to do the job He had gone two
thir of the way up, when, losing hi,
balance as be threw the rope which was
to enable him to climb higher, he began tc
slip down the lightningrod with fearful
rapidity. He was ninety feet from the
ground when he began to lose hold. He
fell on the steeple's balustrade, bounded
on the church roof, rolled down it, and fell
on the ground. He got up with no bones
or skin broken, but SO bruised and iostled
he could not think Of again attenI ting to
climb the lightning rod. Another slater
took his place. The second slater, after
trying in vain for half an hour to pull him
self up to the cock, in making a more
violent effort, broke one Of his stirrups or
supports, and fell, hanging head down
ward, one foot resting in the stirrup which
still held good. He was one hundred and
twenty feet from the ground when this ae-
cident happened. He could lie seen max
ing desperate efforts to recover hold ofthe
knotted rope; arms and one leg made
eonvulsive gestures as he stroye to release
himself from his painful and dangerous
position. 70 add to the horrors Of the
spectacle, the wind blew with. great vi
olence, and the poor fellow svaged ta,and
fro, and was at times IN dangelpf being
dashed to pieces against the sleaDfe. At
length his strength became exhausted, and
he fell into sWoon. From the ground
be seemed lifelesa. 4 third slater went to
his assistance. Time and again the third
slater seemed on the eve Of success. but
time an again the body Of the seeon3
slater fell..with all its weight, fearfully
straining the rope, and sWaying IN The air
With dreadful oscillations. After striving
or fortY-ffe minutes, the third alater was
obliged TO give up in despair; bis strength
vas completely exhausted a fourth slater
'olunteered 10 attempt to rescue bis
'onrade. He climbed to the second slater,
ecured bloekan tackle, fastened rope
round the second slater's body, cut the
and st last lowered he second .
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-07-27
CIRCULAR NOTES.

What word may be pronounced quieke
| BY adding syllable TO it? Quick.
The man who took bold step, resolved
to bring it back.
Of what color is grass when covered will
snow ?-Invisible green.
A good many men are in the best O.
health when they are out of spirit.
How does cow become landed
estate? By turning her into field.
Shocking knowledge.--Personal acquaint
anee with galyanic battery.
We find selfmade men very often, but
self,unmade ones good deal oftener.
When does a farmer act with great
rudeness towards his corn?-When he
pulls its ears.
When should shipwrecked sailors not be
dlsheartened? When they're III the jolly
boat.
What is that which never asks any
questions, but requires many answers !?
The street door.
When fiddler poison shimself with
laudanum, he may be said to have had
too much Of the base Uiaz
An Irish sailor once visited a city. where
he said they "eopper-bottomed the tops of
their houses with sheet lead"
Swinging is said by the doctors to be
good exercise for health, but many poor
wretch has come to his death by it.
A couple of sailors were recently ar
rested in Plymouth for throwing uckets
OF tar over each other. It was a pitch-ba
tle
'sWhy is it, husband, that whenever we
send for a pound oft1a or coffee to the
grocer, it falls an ounce short ?' "Oh, it's
just a0eigh he has"
'Nhat sort of a table do they keep at
your boarding house ?" said Jim to his
chum Dick. "What sort of table, Jim ?
Why, unpala table"
"Where are You going ?" asked little
boy ofanother who had slipped and fallen
down on the icy pavement" Going to get
up!' was the blunt reply.
a lazy fellow begged aims, saying he
could not find bread for his family. 'Nor
!, replied an industrious mechanic; Il
am obliged to work for it.
During an examination, medical
student being asked, when does mortifca-
ton ensue?" be replied, "When You pop
the question, and are answered, mo"
Mary, is your master At homer" NO, |
sir, he's OUT .'T don't believe it" "Well. |
then, he'll come down and tell you 50 him.
self. Perhaps you'll believe him."
Wherefore is darkey, with "no hair on
the top of his head ike candidate for
a club who has been rejected By itz mem.
bers2 Because he's black bald iudiyid
lal.
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-07-27
Selected Story.
BOBLE'S MISTAKE

Ar Julius Boobies is an independent
gentleman. In his youth he entered O
parge commission house as errand boy.
EBy industry and certain amount of cum.
pidg he raised himself, step by step, to the
position of confidential clerk. During his
flerkship he managed, by several little
kuccessful speculations, to amass fortune,
bnd after thirty-fye years hard service he
Eetired.
He was fat, forty-seyen years of age,
eDA had a bald place on. the top of his
Ehead, which he endeavored to conceal by
carefully brushing his hair over it. He
pore no beard nor moustache, and during
Ehe latter part of his kasiness career he
Eaused the Discharge Of no less than
Feventeeu clerks vino insisted upon wear
Eng moustaches.
Mr.. Boobies was very particular about
Ri8 dress. He always wore black, the
bombreness Of which was relieved by
ERhite waistcoat and neckcloth. There is
pot man that has ever seen a spBek on
be one or wrinkle on the other. Mr..
Eobbles has been known to send shirt
pack to the washerwoman Eve times,
timp1y because there was a minute stain
Pn the wristband. The muddiest day never
Taught Mr.. Bobbles with spot Of mud on
his highly-polished boots. Mr.. Boobies
pissed the pleasures of business, for
business to him was pleasure, and became
Enelancholy.
One morning, as he was taking his sol
Ehy breakfast, he looked round his room
1ad heaved a deep sigh. Julius" he
"gan, mentally addressing himself, "you
Fight to get married-you want somebody
look over your linen, and see that your
IoaSt is properly done; for the last three
Fornings Mrs. Wigley has burnt it. You
R'n afford it, Julius, and you are not ugly
l-no," said Mr.. Boobies, looking at him
lsiln the glass. You are not ugly, Julius.
fFtrom it. All, you cunning dog, you"
And Mr.. Bobbles playfally shook his
f'sers at the reflection of himself.
What will people say at your marrying,
f'nns? PoohI I don't care what they
r.. Jilson, got married the other day,
F'a he's ten years older than am, and
T" malt 50 rich. Pity you have not mixed
NJ N society, julius, for really don't j
'VS who to choose. Poor Fanny y sigh f
Do0bles, while tear stole into his eve. /
mad no idea, when We parted, that I b
~ you 50 much. Why was not rich /;
Il y nonsensel | was only fye-and- (
l'sn1y then,7 and Mr.. Boobies threw :
"'s OF toast at ay that was about to 3
~a'I \, suicide in the milking.
w. bobbles was one of those men who i
,,s not the moral courage to marry on f.
hundred pounds year. Poor fool II
4, p'oke poor girls heart, and is 4 fussy
a., Oaehelor himself, in consequence. m
sss | certainly ought to marry"
saSat Mr., Boobies. Mature intended N
h % marry. Dear me, how shabby my
l. ,.n - getting. l must get a new one. u
mi y /" nave blue coat for change. I
H.. H. o,ae .,, would become me-dont you,
|. ..as pl,s and Mr.. Boobies stopped before
glass for reply.
g9qned 49, answer hn' ne
H.. Under how moustache would be.
~ and see.a = ''''s foI
h ,,.sl much longer Ny. Bobbles might
a'ed know net, If Mrs. WigIey /,
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-07-27
Poetry.
A CHARACTER.

rhs most lmpenetrable mask for malicious design
{, sell acted candor.
Va madam know you better, far better than those
| can know
Whose plummst Of judgement is dropped to the
depths below.
Whose test Is Surface-seeming, the glitter of lights
that CLEAN
With moments rainbow lustre on the shinIng face
Of the stream
Because you have bold blunt manners, because you
can broadly smile
With tho DEVILS own art Of yelling your infinite gulf
Of guile. 5
There are some who bring you homage who VOW you
nature III free
Ard frank as the life Of summer when fullest on land
and sea.
And yet your soul is charuel where many ruined
Rots fostering vile and Ioathyome in burial ghrouds
ofBhame;
spuchre dark that's crowded with ashes Of old and
young.
Dsd flames you have fouy poisoned with your piless
serpsnts tongue
beware! by the God above US, parteth the false from
true,
Ihersaa curse In the future somewhers-an ambushed
curse for you.
Nvlll burst from the waysido ercOly when least you
dream of a blow
tgsrsh fute in its fury, to rend and to lay you low
But ere has sucked your hearts blood, and stifed
your latest BREATH
the thought of your victims, woman will sharpen the
sting Of death i
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-07-27
Mr.. Parker Buys a Broom.

Mr.. Parker Buys a Broom.
Mr.. Parker was not thinking of whisk
| brooms at all he had no need ofa whisk
broom, and, in fact, he had always said
that he should never buy whisk- broom
as he thought clothes-brush much pref
cradle.
"a whisk- broom" said he, last evening
''is all very we'll when you consider it as a
: whisk-broom, but viewed in any other light
it is failure. Who ever heard of ones
brushing his hat, smoothing his hair OF
polishing his boots with whisk. k.broom ?
Now with a eothes.brush one can perform
all these operations of the toilet; there
fore, " concluded Mr.. Parker, 81 shall never
buy whisk-broon, but on the other hand,
| shall always invest my surplus capital in
clothes brushes
Just as Mr.. Parker had concluded his
philosophical remarks, an Italian count
lin disguise no doubt entered the room
with an Elizabethan ruff of whisk- -brooms
about his neck.
"Bay a broom p chaated he, Ike an
echo from the once popular song.
"Get out, said Mr.. Parker.
"Now, said the Italian gentleman, not
|disconcerted II the least, there re haf Won
uf de best bFooms for onlee seventee feet
cent. Buy br om2"
II won't said Ar. Parker; Seventy.
five cents is TOO much, and besides you
couldn't give me one if yop tried
she is sheep at sesentee feet cent.
cannot sell him Sleeper as dat said the
man, preparing to 60.
Just then another disguised nobleman
entered, wearing another EIizabethan ruff.
Of whisk-broons, and chanting in another
key, "Buy broom? The first conner glar-
ed at his rival, who returned the con-,
plimcnt.
"Get out, said Mr.. Parker to the new
conner.
That gentleman smiled pensively, and
unlocking one of his best broonas, remark
ed:
"Here is Won of de best brooms for onlee
feefty cents. Buy broom?a
Mr.. Parker glanced at the broom. It
was just such one as the first man want
ed seventy-fve cents for.
go away said Mr, Parker, stoicaliy
the temptation TO make a bargain:
"get out, don't want your brooms.'
dot man is von tief,a said Italian
number one. Il will sell you my broom
fur thirtee-feef cents and he cast
glance Of triumph at the opposition. Mr..
Parker hesitated, and went SO far as to ex-
anime the brooms.
on sail haf de broom for thirtee cent: Il
lat robber sail not sell you de broom
shouted Italian nunlber two.
NF. Parker fingered the two broonis.
Meanwhile the Italians shook their fists at
'ach other, and exchanged personalities.
You tiefr' said one "Yoli rebberl" said
he other. "Liarr' ascoundrille evil. /
ain!" wretch 7,
Mr.. Parker began to grow excited. I'm
ure 70 get hargain out Of these fellows, /
aid he, they're SO mad Then he spoke !
. masing way, 4 don't know but $
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-07-27

TAKING HEa MgAsURE.-aJesaie, what
Was Joe's ara doing round Jour waist
when you were at the front gate last night?'
asked . precious Aberdeen boy of his
sister. His arm wasnt round my waist
4 won q belt from him, and he was taking
my measure, replied the indignant young
lady.
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-07-27
LACONECs.

Lie becomes useless and insipil when
we have no longer either friends or en-,
enies.
Dignity is expensive. and without other
good qualities, is not particularly profit
able.
A able man shows his spirit By gentle
words and resolate actions, he is neither
hot nor timid.
Cities force growth, and make men
talkative and entertaining, but they also
make them artificial.
Friendship is the medicine for all nisfor-
tunes, but ingratitude dries up the fountain
Of all goodness.
Make no more VOWS to perform this OF
that It shows ma great strengh, aud makes
thee r de behind thyself.
Never plead guilty to poverty. So far
as this world is concerned, you might bet.
fer admit that you are villain.
Man wastes his mornings in ar tieipat
ing afternoons, and wastes bis afternoons
in regretting his mornings.
We have seen a prudent, industrious wife
retrieve the fortunes Of 3 family Nhen her
husband pulled It the other end Of the
rope.
We love much more warmly By cherish
ing the intention Of giving pleasure than
an hour afterwards when Ne hare given il, |
Jealous men are ever displaying 10 yon
the strength Of their belief, while jadicious
men are showing yon the grounds of Il. |
Mental pleasures never cloy Unlike
those Of the body they are increased by
repetition, approved of by reflection, and
strengthened BY enjoyment.
The New York herald., 1877-09-07
A NEW OCEAN STEAMER.

The latcst addition TO the European fleet OF vessels
plyng 10 this port Is the steamship Otranto. OF
the Wilson fleet, aud which is 10 ply betwccn New
York and Hull The following are her principal dimen-
SONS Length, 800 feet; BREADTH 80 iect; depth OF
hold % feet inchos Her register tonnage is .ss7
tons and her gross tonnage 1852 TONS She Is spar
decKed ship brggged and carries no royals on either
mast Sne has the ordinary collision bulkhead also
watertignt bulkhead, winch separates the lore aud
main holds one at the lore and one At the after part
of the engine room In addition TO this she has lore
and aft bukheads. used for slowing grain IN buiK and
which Will prevent It's shifting Between tho main
and upper decks there the unusual space OF nino
feet with WOW OF providing facilities for the rapidly
Increasing cattle trade supply OF water viii be pro.
yided Tor cattle the coDdensers 10 auu 10 INC
safety OF the vessel sho has provided with pumps
In every hold All tho deckhouses arc o. ron ,nouu
ing the saloon, which Is placed amdshps ohe IL
slocred by Camerons patent steam goar sue Is pro-
vided with lifeboats, all provldeu with
masts and Sails She has SIX steam wihches
on deck She Is clincker built, of iron framework
has compound inverted surface condensing engines,
the diameter OF the cylinders being 33 inches and
"a % inches, aud Of $50 nominal horse power out
ca pable of working up 70 LOCO Tho huli was
built by Earle's SnipDuding Company anu Inc ma
chlucry by Amos Il Smith, both OF Hull She is COM
mauded by Captain Bristow, formerly OF the Whltc
Star line Her first officer Is IA. Maronier ana the
second Thomas Rea; first engineer J. Harris second,
ID. Mcfarland. The crew are all lodged at ana tho
$500 900. Her agents IN this city, Mossrs. Y. Ia
Wright state that she Will be thrown open 70 pupnc
inspectlo On next saturday, Tho Otranto ~ now lying
W the Eagle wharf. HoDokons
The New York herald., 1877-09-07
TOMBS IRREGULARITIES.
AN ITALIAN INTERpRErER DISCOVERED TAM
pERING WITH A wITNEss-HE Is oUsTED

AN ITALIAN INTERpRErER DISCOVERED TAM
PERING WITH A wITNEss-HE Is oUsTED
FROM THE COURT.
No little stir created In the Tombs Police Court
yesterday by tho discovery that a had been
tampered with Justice Duffy expressed himself
strongly the subject and gave a we'll -merIted check
TO irregular practices that have often brought
the Tombs into dsrepute The matter was brought 10
light through the cxertions Of Sergeant Horny K.
Woodruff, in charge OF the Tombs Police Squad
Tho Sergeant noticed suspicious proceeding between
woman complainant in q case of outrage ana young
Italian who frequently acted interpreter at the
court. Ho made investigation, and, becom-
ing satisfied that the interpreter had either
intimdated tho woman induced her 10
modify her testimony, communicated the fact
Justice Duffy That magistrate Immediately
put the woman oath. She swore that the inter-
prefer to her and told her If sho appeared against
the three Italans Qriends Of hs) whom she charged
with having outraged her that her lie was in danger
also that she be AFRAID OF tcstiiyinR ncor
rccty because the Judge did not understand the Italian
language The interpreter VINO Is known AZ ''5hang"
denied her statement.
JUSTICE DrpyY INDIGNANT.
Justice Duly ordered him W leave the court room
and never show his face IN the ToDbs again. Turning
to Sergeant Woodruff he said 'Scrgeant, II you
see that man IN this court IN the porch, standing
tho steps or anywhere oI the promises arrest him at
once aud bring him before me ana Will commit
hun. Neither do want any bum lawyers clerks
hanging around and to these remarks no reputable
lawyer will take exception. My charity has been
abused by parties intcrceding for those committed,
and aiterward selling the discharge when 1t was
granted. Innocent people who have here Tor
warrants have been met nj the and charged
Tor the procuring OF tho document where no charge ia
evor made or allowed tor The ike There must no
longer be any OF this business If can help IT."
Counsellor Racy who appeared or the three Italians
charged with the crime, aiterward appeared in court
and stated TO Justice Duly that he aisciaimed all
knowledge OF the Interpreters conduct He had sent
the interpreter TO see Captain Foley of the Tenth pre-
cnct and learn the character Of the complainant II
hc did anything further he acted entirely for himself
The counsel demanded an exam nation INTO the facts,
ana tho magistrate promised to comply.
The New York herald., 1877-09-07
NEW YORK LIFE INSURANCE co.
WHAT VICE PRESIDENT BEERS SAYS or IT'S
CONDITION.

WHAT VICE PRESIDENT BEERS SAYS or IT'S
CONDITION.
Within tho past fow days reports have been circu-
lated rejecting on the credit, management and fnan
cial standing OF the Now York Life Insurance Com
pany. 1t was SAID that Mr. Mccall, tho Insurance
Examiner, found serious discrepancies in the "buld.
ing and loan account" which the President Ol tho
company Mr. Morris franklin, could not explain, ana
that Mr. Franklin telographed TO Europe 10 Mr.. WILL
iam H. Beers the vice president aud actuary OF the
company, requesting his immediate return. On
Wednesday Mr. Beers reached the city per the steam
snip Bothnia
HERALD reporter called on him yesterday for tho
purpose OF obtaining statement US to the troubles in
which the company said 10 be involved. Mr.
Beers appeared to be much surprised ana PANIED at
the rumors which lad o0tainod circulation he said
tho statement made public IN an unmitigated iaisc
hood spun from whole CLOTH and mas been foisted on
the pubic Tor the purpose, no doubt OF damaging the
company. 1--WE have said he, ION our books no
such thing building and loan account consc-
quenly there could be discrepancy there Neither
does there exist, has there beon reported by the
Insurance Examiner, any discrepancy In any OF our
accounts IN any way, manner, form or feature Our
last annual report showed reserve surplus 10 the
conpany's credit OF So 10000, aud since INC
creased. The report was oond .Gds one, and
wish TO have understood without hesitation
qualification OF any KIND or description that Inc
report s absolutely shows the condi-
ton of The company" President Franklin Was present
during versaon ana stated that II was untrue
that hc had telegraphcd to Mr.. Beers III Europe Re-
fcrrng to this matter Mr. Beers said Tho report
lhnt was tolegraphed for Is an unmitgatcd aud
qualified ialsenood. On June 10 | left New York on
the steamer Britannia, and on the day OF my arrival
In Liverpool | engaged my return passage on .ho
Bothnia Tor August %. | came on that ship aud the
books Cunard company will bear evidence that
speak the trutn. " confirmation OF my words be
deemed necessary. Statements rejecting the man
agement Of company you can SGT down as absolute
nscnse. We were never in a more prosperous con-
dil ION than "A the :"
The New York herald., 1877-09-07

SUMMARY OF LAW CASES.

Judge Douohue. whle IN attendance yesterday at
court received telegram giving the painful ntclli-
gence OF tho death OF nephew He ut once lett the
Court suspendlng ali further Judicial duties.
Emanuel Langley, q seaman, charged before
United states Commissioner Dael yesterday, with
having assaulted on the high seas Adriana Johanna
verhnus on board the American vessel George Huri-
bert Tho complainant was severely wounded Dy the
dcendant with kniie and all tho parties were ne'd
to await IN examination to-day.
Judge wcs;Drook was asked yesterday by Mr.. James
NJ Iyddy ior ieave 10 substituted aelenaant III the
actIon tor &C. 0OO damages Drougnt by the widow Of
Archibald White against Thomas Hcndcrson ana JOhn
Henderson ownors of the Auchor Line steamship
Cacdunlu The deceased while Ia the employ of de-
tsndauIs ieu down the hatGnway and Was Killed IN
The New York herald., 1877-09-07
ANOTHER VOICE FROM CHICAGO.


There ought to be some place at every important
point in the country whore savings could be deposited
with positive certainty of safety. No place
be provided except by through the authority Of the
government A man who takes national bank note
knows 1t be good because the government guaran-
tion. 1t ought to DO with deposits, but the next
best thing, and not but the better
one Is TOR the goovrnment itself to become
the custodian Of The peoples money. How
easily the plan could bs made 10 work will
readily appear by taking own city example.
We have hero an Assistant United States TreasUre
who does speak, the Official banking business Of
clerical this institution might become the saw
ngs bank OF the CITY, receiving and paying out as re-
CURED But the people want interest on their saw
ings and the government cannot enter this Held. Not
directly but II the sub Treasury in this city was
supplied with bonds oil the United states. for which
that millions OF dollars would be invested III
them by the people where comparatively moth
ing Is Invested now. The fact Is
that the great OF our citizers know
httic or nothing about government securities; no
eIor has been made To popularize them but II onco
they were made fainiliar goodIy proportion o our
debt would oe hoatcd IN TINS country. And It ought
SO. The man who has financial interest IN the
existence OF the government has strong link added
to the chain OF patriotism which binds him 10 tho
land The people ought TO be afforded two opportuni
ties by the government l. The opportunity W dc.
from breaking banks or abscondlng cashiers. z
The opportunity TO invest their surplus savings
tionai securities OF low denomination and bearing
q lair rate OF interest.