Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1877-04-04
ADAM As A BAcHELoR


Imagine Adam in bis loneliness, the
only human being IN this wide, wide
word--a full grown man ut his birth
with no one 10 grant him certificate
thereof, or to furnish him with the cvi-
dcncc that he was ever 6ol7i.as ~
He hiis never experienced any of the
perls Of infancy aud childhood, such
as the cutting Of teeth, measles and
chicken pox, without which no young
nan's education is complete. Adam Is
the only man who never had II grand
mother to mend his pants, knit his nit
tens, aud stand between him and all
barn. lie never played the great and
exhilurating game Of base. ball, never
bad submitted to the indignity OF hav-
ing u clip Knocked Of his shoulders by
another boy. No, he had none of the
essentials that 20 toward making up
the average boy OF the prcsentday He
found himself born somehow, II full
grown man, Il bachelor, with no chum
in the whole universe with whom TO
converse upon that interminablc topic,
the weather; no one 10 10 fishing with /;
"no one to love, none 10 carcss no
one to sew buttons on his shirt no one
10 lend him helping hand. There he
was, the keeper Of II large geological
garden, with no doorkeeper to take
the ticket, no one to come to the show
Like all bachelors, he seemed to be
a mistake, aud this quality Of mistake
has been so severely transmitted
through the long ages that have inter
yencd, without let or hindrance, that
il has become fixed fact unalterablc
as Partisan law. His maker saw
what any one at this day clearly sees
that it was not good Tor man to be
alone. lie becomes fdgety, queer, no.
tional, and out Of order generally
Adam bad, in all probability, begun to
manifest some Of these peculiar char.
acteFistics, aud was himself convinced
that there was something more neces
sary to his happiness, but he had not
the brains to invent, nor the ingenuity
to devise anything in himself
Adam evidently was not "a happy man
in his estate Of single blessedness and
the Divine Being, ever anxious for the
welfare Of bis creatures, saw that il
was not good for him to be alone, and
hence gave him, what every fulLgrown
man needs, viz some one TO talk to,
to argue with, to love and cherish, and
if everything don'l go right generally,
90 tor-to lay part OF the blame upon.
Did you ever contemplate the pov.
erty OF Adam when he took Eve ior
better or for woise2 Only think oft
He hadn't u hat to bis head. coat to
his back, n pair Of shoes to bis feet, nor
mary red cent" in his trowsers
pocket Eve brought no dowry she
bad nothing to bvslow, save her love
aud affection, and as he was the only
young fellow around, 1t was he or no
body. Equally as poor as her husband,
she came TO him without bonnet, or
shawl, calico gown, or even u pair OF
slippers Moses forgot m his reminis.
cences, TO give MS any account OF their
wedding uip, hut from what we can
gather in regard TO their wardrobes OF
that day, their baggage would have
proved no incumhrancv-for u very
limited amount sufliced, and dressing
to please every body was Of no account,
for there were none but themselves TO
please. Doubtless their whole outfit
of travelling dresses, water-proois, dus-
iers, lunch.baskets and all, he could
have carried in the pockets OF his trow-
sers. They must have started house.
keep, also, upon as small capital as
could well be imagined. They hadn't,
as far us can be CLEANED from history,
II huir-brush, u fne.toOlh comb, towel,
or soap; no biliers, soothingsyiup,
clothes wringcrs, smoolhing-irons-no
nothing.
Adam wasn't afraid 10 invite his wife
togoon AN excursion with him, through
fear Of having to 20 down deep into the
trowscrs' pocket Tor the wherewith to
buy suitable outlt--iur The reason
that he had no pockets ~ hls trowsers
nor did he swear at baggagc-smashers
or brook the insolcnce of railroad Off
cialr.
There was no good and sufficient
reasons why they shouldn't have bern
an amablc couple and had good time
generally. They washed their own
clothes, doubtless by dive in the Eu-
pirates. and there being no clothes
lines, their clothes were allowed to dry
upon their backs, and Adam didn't
care a rush whether his shirt. bosom
was smooth or not, and why should
Eve bother her head about il so long
as hcr husband was suited?- Elmird
Adcc,iiST,
RELIEF ron THE FRONTIER