The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1877-06-16
GRAVE AND GAY,

mOurners at funerals still prevails in por-
lions Of Lebanon county, Pennsylvania.
On one occasion lately nearly five hun
dred persons partook.
Under the modified marriage law of
Indiana, licenses may be issued to youths
Of eighteen and girls of sixteen. The
tendency of this is to extend the divorce
business.
Paul du Chaillu says a parrot which
he taught to speak also transmitted his
requirement TO about twenty others,
while some of these escaping taught
oSher wild ores, so that one day he was
surprised while walking in the forest to
hear French words blended with the
chattering of a number of these birds.
"A Nashville bank robber burrowed
under a street for five days, and at length
came up in the coal vaultot a beer saloon
three doors away from the bank, and bit
himself in eleven places with the most
uncempromising dog he ever. tried to
conciliate. The next time he tries any
mining operations he will take a practical
engineer along.
An honest yoeman, of very correct
habits, who was told that if he smoked
one less cigar a day for two years, he
could save money enough, principal and
interest, to buy a good farm, has made
himself sick as death every day for the
past two weeks trying to learn to smoke.
Thus is the path of honest industry beset
with difficulties.
Il talked with a minion from her ma
jesty's dominions. Says I, Where are
you going" Says he, "To hide a hoe"
Says I, "What are are you going to hide
a hoe for" Says he, 81 didn't say
hide a hoe; l said hide a hoe" Says I,
"Spell it," Says he, "1-d-a-h-o." ooh,
says ], 'Idado.'" Yes" says he,
Hide a hoe"
In the language of the tramps, the
letter "H" on the gate post means that
the residents will give the caller a hand
full of grub; as" that he will get a seat
at the table; "SM" that he will get q
square meal. AID &c B" that he will
get the grand bounce" Now that the
secret is out, let every householder HE
himself to his gate-post and dig in letters
deep, and that cannot be misunderstood,
the mystic sign "GBl" Here, at last,
is the complete solution Of the tramp
problem Chicago Erening Journal.
.Kladderadatsch represents the way
in which it regards the eastern question
Is follows: A man and woman stand be-
fore the curtain GA theater on which is
a notice to the effect that "1o-day and
till further notice the Oriental Question
will be played" They remark that "too
much of that sort OF thing grows tire
some, and besides one dosn't know whether
it is a comedy, a tragedy or a farce"
when from behind the curtain of the
Turk roars a voice saying: wait till
you see the end of bhe fifth act!"
A man out on Summer street has
eight daughters, and when they cleaned
house last week the women raked 1874
guilds of chewing gum down from the
window castings, chair backs, door panels
and sofa backs, the accumulation of the
past winter. And this does not include
the wads which tn man, at various times,
sat down on and 4rried away on the tails
of his coat, for which no accurate returns
have been made.-Hawkeye.
az once heard" says a writer IN
Truth, "the following refreshing remark
from a mite of four years. l had been
compelled, having bees injudiciously
forestalIed by a too Jealous nurse, to ex-
plain to her the orthodox view OF the
ultimate fate OF the wicked, and was
watching rather nervously for some ex-
pressi4n of incredulity or alarm, when,
turning to the cradle where her baby
brother slept, the child exclaimed, point
ing to the infant, That's a bad job for
him !'n
"A certain paper published in New
York isoonIy seventy.fve cents a year,
and each subscriber is promised "a gold
plated watch chain, lady's let brooch,
jet ear-drops, pair g%old-stone sleeve but
tons, lady's heavy wedding ring, set
spiral studs, new style color stud and
gents diamond pin" And yet we are
told that some persons call the publisher
mean and close. listed and overreaching,
because he won't throw in a three.story
brick house and a two-horse carriage.
But he couldn't do that u9less he was to
advance the price of his paper to one
dollar a year, and then thy would growl
again. Norrist0Wn Herald.
TEEFF As Il RUSHING 4