The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1877-02-01
PENCIL AND SCISSORS.


PENCIL AND SCISSORS.
The milky way-from the barn to the
pump.
No matter where you find it, an empty
pepper-box is always out of season.
THREE-FoURTHs of cubic foot of
water evaporated per hour will produce
one horse power.
Now is the time to subscribe fifty
cents to the poor fund and five dollars
to the base ball club which is to scoop
the world next spring.
We can all do more than we have done,
And not be whit the worse;
1t never was loving that emptied the heart,
Or giving thateu ,,tied the purse.
WEALTH, after all is relative thing,
since he that has little and wants less is
richer than he that has much and wants
more.
The way the King of the Sandwich
Islands carves chicken is to take hold
OF potn legs, draw long breath, and
pull for all he is worth.
The smallest and slightest impedi-
ments are the most annoying; and as
little letters most tire the eyes, so do
little affairs most disturb us.
ALLEGHANY CITY proposes to have a
fire drill in its public school. The chill
dren are TO be run down stairs twice per
day to'see how many can get out alive.
A MAN on South Hill made sixty-one
calls New Years morning before he got
out of bed. He was calling his Oldest
boy to get up and light the sitting-room
hre.
now TonDa uO,n tins 1ne Iae rooster Ioacn
He eats our paste and drinks our ink,
And makes himself at home.
% The uIuss nrs,tH SnUr,a crastnrs,a mo. s.ss whim
Their able pens were never meant
To put head on him.
CHILDREN expect the truth, and if they
find tban,solyes dooo;yed Il not onlv
snahes Ineir cohnuehce III oIneIs, puI
they, being very apt scholars, Will soon
learn to lie and deceive. too.
1HERE are people III lnls Worlu VINO
would make lust as much stir, and do
just as much good, and beneht society
lust as much-and we don't know but
noora -poro +bov L;lla5 ond stufedn
"lF you don't stop your coughing,
sir" said q testy and irritable Judge.
u IN c. LIod 5oIlor. ,,
nno you h'o nuhuiou uoiio
p" I'll give your lordshlp one thousand
dollars if you can stop it for me" was
the ready reply. The Judge ought to
have sent him out of the room.
You can always tell whether buzz
saw is going or not by simply feeling of
it, but it generally takes about as long to
find the ends of your fingers as it would
to have gone and asked the foreman of
the shop if the thing was in motion.
MAKE YOUR MARK.
In the quarries should you toll,
~ ro, MAKE aSs:a your unon m1dn ~. .o,,
Make YOUR mark;
In whatever path you go,
,, In whatever place you a saana-
With firm and honest hand,
Make your mark.
Life is feeting as shade
Make your mark;
"ark %.ss NJ some vonr mnu "ars. ,ra.' Os n'Ads
Make it while the arm is strong,
In the golden hours OF youth
Sel, Wets it, IL nth e tbe ,tamn II mas Of truth
Make your mark.
OUR MARYLAND exchanges are tellin
some good ones of late. Here, for in
stance, comes the Centerville Observer,
which, telling of loss of mule, says it
slipped ON the ice, and its fore-legs
spraddled open, and split the mule in
two, killing it in few moments"
A WESTERN paper says that the editor
of a rival sheet was skating recently
and broke through the ice. He went up
to his ears. but the hole was not large
enough to let them through. While he
was waiting for some one to take him out
both his ears froze, and they have since
been amputated, and are used for door
mats.
NEVER be President of your country.
The only descendant of George Washing
ton had to sell his noted ancestors
library the other day on account OF
poverty. The descendants OF Jefferson
were almost poor enough to be patrons
of poor house, and now the daughter.
in-law of General Jackson, in condition
of financial distress, desires to sell various
valuable mementoes collected by hel
while an inmate of the White House