, 1877-01-07
:HilM1R.

| The man who was all "doubled up with a
kick u Is supposed to have been kicked by pair
Of double uppeFs.
| Mrs. Splkins casually inquired the other day
! whether it was BECAUSE be was out SO much at
nights that George Eliot called her hero 81 Dan
| {el, the roundef-"
'sMamma," said the old lady's daughter,
"don't you think that modern table Is out Of
| place in that ancient picture?' "Oh! Ia, no.
| They had modern tables in them days, as Tel
| as now"
Don't get up aud cuss when you happen to
| sit down on coal-hole cover; sit still mo-
ment and mediate on the fact that the people
| of Southern California are now doubled up With
| green cucumbers.
James and Thomas Hart were arrested in
Color1tto town the other day for Jointly beating
| abartender These must be the persons referred
| to by the poet when he spoke Of Two Harris
| that beat Us one"
| The editor OF & French newspaper, In speak
| ing Of the dedication of new cemetery near
Lyons, says. that M Gascoigue had the pleasure
Of being the first individual who was buried in
| this delightful retreat"
A man fishing for trout on another mans
land, the other day, completely silenccd the
| owner, who demonstrated, With the majestic an
swer: Who wants to catch your trout4 I am
only trying to drown this worln."
In order to avoid answering the question
"Who is clectcd}' some Bostonians have
| provided themselves with printed cards bearing
the legend, "Damtlno." they are ALWAYS ready
to hand them out to all anxious inquirers.-Bos-
ton Hlobe.
The man who wrote stI would not live al
ways " is now S. years OF age aud enjoys tolera-
bly good health. And this reminds us that q
young man who used to warble Let me die In
spring TIM" +" was frozen to death last week in q
snow-drft.
A coachman IS brought before the Police Mag
istratc for running over and killing an old
woman. "Why," says the Court, :" did yon not
bear to the left and avoid the accident!'' stBe-
cause {triumphantly) If ! lad 1 would have
scrapcd the panels.''
a Norristown grammarian thinks theatres
should be built with plenty Of egresses TO get
IN aud out of."-lNoTr;stowu Herald. So tllcy
should, but until the Fifteenth Amendment was
adopted you couldn't get a negro into q theatre
at all, much less out OF it.-l,ailadalphia Baite-
tin.
When cremation becomes more general it is
going to be very convenient to have the ashes of
relatiTe handy to sprinkle on the sidewalk
winter mornings.
Imperial Caesar burnt to ashes
May serve to prevent sidewalk -suashes.
Never, except upon one occasion, was prom
lnent editor Of q newspaper Of Milwaukee known
to refuse to take joke, and that Was the other
day at noon, when the boys linked his spectacles,
and sent him home with lantern to apologize to
lls ianoly ~ lor oe1ns out ELL mfdnlght.-Ct'-
e"t'tat' 1aq"tFT.
The other day some Of the BOYS induced a
young man from Flint Creek to take hold Of the
handles Of galyanic battery, As It nnckercd
him up he roared, ssJininy Criulinv. let IN!
Who ever heard Of thing that could make YOU
taste green pcrsimmons with your hands, be-
The nanhurr Mr., ssrs. j. rho +,.,t ~
Aonmemnon h;ys beet f,,,nG ine toaag a3a2 o. o.
had tnmh ~ " have u III o,nnr nc - giaG ~
that shscr;nton ,ynnid ho1a M osen g. LILLY aaant
for that nnrnnse The ;11ns1r;ons s,a iii a.