Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1877-06-06

| THE ART OF BEING AGREEABLE -
The art of being agreeable is both positive
and negative. Negatively, it consists in
not giving offence; positively, in con-
ferring pleasure. Both the positive and
the negative element must be present and
in equilibrium to produce the highest re-
suits. Some people are prolicens in this
art others are totally lacking in both its
elements, and seem made expressly to be
as disagreeable as possible in themselves,
and to make this disagreeableness felt by
all around them; others will have de-
sire to please and an unwillingness to
offend, but do not know how to make a
pleasing expression in either direction
and are pcrpetually guilty Of faur pas and
gaHcherie. People who agree in their in
telectual, moral, and physical tastes, and
who easily keep pace together, have little
need of making any effort to be agreeable
to each other But those of differing in
tellect and physical organization, of differ
ing moral sensiblities, of diverse calibers
and capabilities, often have to tug very
hard, to be very self-dcnying, and very
tolerant, to live in peace with their fell
lows.
Two doctrines lie mt the foundation of this
art, the doctrine of equal rights, and, grow
ing out of that the doctrine of self-de-
nial. My neighbor has just as much right,
ii lie is tall, to take long steps; as | have,
being short, to take short steps; and if it
is hard for us to keep equal pace, he is no
more to blame than ; neither is to blame,
and the inequality of locomotion must be
got along with, or we must not try to
walk together We may walk in the
same direction still, but so far apart from
each other that neither shall weary nor
annoy the other For brief space both
may compromise, one taking shorter
steps than is natural, the other longer
than is quite comfortable, but when This
compromise ceases, separation or dsa-
Sreement must follow. The harmonious
adjustment of differences in daily life OF
which the instance given is fair type,
constitutes in great measure the art OF
being agreeable. Most people, for Il
short time and under favorable circum
stances can be agreeable both positively
and negatively, but he who is always so
has studied human nature in himself and
in others with care, and formed habits OF
self-denial and self-control.
The best place to study this art is in the
family circle. Here are often to be found
young, middle aged, and elderly people,
and there is always opportunity to avoid
saying unpleasant things, to avoid doing
what must give of1ense, and to avoid be-
ing disagreeable. But, in addition to the
constant opportunity of exercising the
negative quality of inotlensivcness aflor.
ded by family life, there is no end oi
chances to say pleasant words, to perform
acts of kindness, to exercise charity and
toleration, while at the same time the ut
most selfFespect is preserved, and no nat.
ural right relinquished. BY so much as
love is stronger than hate. sunshine thar
darkness, heat than cold, by so much i.
the agreeable person stronger than the
disagreeable one. One sinner destroyed
much good, but ten righteous men woulC
have saved Sodom, Gomorrah, Admah
and Zeboim. The Golden Rule is tho
rule of poltcness, and hearty obedience
to it will do more than any other ont
thing to perfect one in the art of being
agreeable.-N Y. Tribune.