The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1877-07-03
sepst and nopsense.

Aunt Polly, colored woman of Mach
vile, Tenn, is as lively as Young dam
sci of 120 years can be She can recol-
lect everything that has happened from
the Revolutionary war down.
In late style Of marriage announce
ments only the name OF the bride and
clergyman appear As civilization ad-
vances, the groom becomes of less and
less importance on such occasions.
An old lady sleeping during divine
service in church let fall Bible with
clasps to it, and the noise partly ava
kening her, she exclaimed alond:--
What! you've broke another jug have
you?"
A butcher sold sailor ham on cred
it, but finding In few days that he had
gone to sea, he growled, "1f I'd known
that he wasn't going to pay for it, I'd a
charged him threepence more a pound
for it, the rascal"
"Wiil you please insert this obituary
, notice p asked an old gentleman of a
country editor. Il make bold to ask it
because know the deceased had great
, many friends about here who'd be glad
to hear of his DEATH"
Ghosts should be more circumspect
and careful. One came out to frighten
a lady in Homer, Louisiana, the other
night, and she fred a pistol so closely
in range to the apparition that it went
away bowling and limping in one leg
At Sunday School teacher asked a
little boy If he knew what the express
Ion ''sowing tares" meant ''Courth
do," said he, pulling part OF his trous-
ers around in front, "There's tear my
ma sewed; l feared it when 1 was sill
ding down hill" a.5. % 70
It's awfully binding on temperance
! man to go sweltering past the open door
of a saloon mopping his dripping brow
with the cloudy wreck of lately white
handkerchief and see half dosen tln,
reeenerate sinners sucking cool sherry
cobhlers through the seductive straw
Burlington Hosokeye ea r.. 2.-e
Michigan girls use dry corn husks to
fill out their bustles, and the young men,
until they learned what the material was,
were filed with wonder by the myste-
rious rustling that they heard whenever
one of the fair creatures stirred How
ever, the 'husks" are supposed to be
very attractive to "prodigal sons"
"Why, you rascal" said DR.. Radcliffe,
the great physician, to pavier who
dunned him, "do you pretend to be paid
for such piece of work? Why, you
have spoiled my. pavement, and then
covered it over with earth to hide your
bad work" "Doctor," said the pavier,
"mine is not the only bad work the earth
hides.' .....----,----.
Iueros-..--,yrone cigar left in the
I lh}nS. hnSeand there were two young hopefuls
ciutcLed It, but he said consoiihigslyh yh4S u
his brother; "Never mind, Dick, I'll
smoke on it till / get sick. and then you
can finish it." And the heart of the
other little boy was comforted.
A man on West Hill has brought peace
into his family circle forever. Last week
he moved into q new house containing a
bay window and twenty three closets,
and be bought his wife nine miles of
clothes line, cord Of clothes line props
and ia dozen clothes.pins. And the
angels just come down and sit around
on the side fence and envy that woman's
perfect happiness !-Burkngton Ha,ok-
eye. aafz 1aa roE sis
They were sitting together, and be was
arduously thinking what to say, when
finally he grew confident in his manner,
and broke out thus; "In this land of no.
BILE achievement and undying glory, why
is it that women do not come more TO
the front, and cline the ladder of fame ?"
II suppose" said she, tying knots in
her handkerchief, "It's on account of
their pull. backs. ."--Patsburgh Gazsto.
A. Bronson Alcott feels well enough
to assert that "Living is incarnation.
Quick with spirit in alternate systole
and diastole, the tides course along, in
carnating organ and vesicle in their
ceaseless fiow." We have often noticed
this, but concluded not to say anything
about it during tae Temperance revival,
for fear of being charged with not be-
ing in sympathy with the Murphy move
: ment. so -
I Tommy" said teacher to. his fa-
vorite pupil, "How many seasons are
there 2" "Six, sir" was the immediate
, answer. 'sWhatw exclaimed the domi-
ME, "after all my teaching, do you not
: know that there are only four r. 81
T. know six, SIR" said Tommy "Indeed
, !, that's news to me. May ask the names
of the half dozen p There's Spring,
Summer, Autumn, Winter, opera and
cricket" .'% al &
: When young man puts on all the
good clothes he possesses, and starts
out on Sunday evening to see his girl
it makes him feel very liberal to be over,
: taken by sudden rain and driven un.
der the shelter of a street awning. i
d the shower continues couple of hours
e the retarded lover angrily jams his
d hands into his moneyless pockets, ant
e feels liberal enough to give fifty dollars
for an umbrella.
The well-to-do pauper isn't person
to read about with much equanimity. Il
!. Dubuque, Iowa, one woman who own
!. several houses and lots, and another whit
. has good bank account, have been re
, ceiving money all along from the coun
O ty In ST. Paul woman purchasing
. valuable lot of real estate dealer aske,
it that nothing should be sail about it il
,e the newspapers, as she was "getting
=. little aid from the county"
Sc Mr. P T. Barnum is a temperance re
10 former on small scale. When he wa
I'd in Detroit last Sunday valet, whom b
IN had discharged years before for drunk
nj enness, solicited re engagement. Sal
Mr.. Barnum: "Boh, if you will join th
Red Ribbon men, and at the expirstio
De of three months give me proof that yo
10 !,, have kept the pledge, will take yo
III back in my service, give your wife
's' good situation in my family, and ent'
into written contract to employ yo
-, H. Ill., ac