The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1877-11-02
MARK TWAIN'S LATEST.
How am Irreverent Old salt Interpre ted
the Story of Elijah and the
Prophets Of Baal.

Prophets Of Baal.
samuel l.. Clemens I'm November Atlantic
One trip the captain hada clergyman
ON board, but did not know he was a
clergyman, since the passenger list did
not betray the fact. He took u great
liking to this Rev. Mr.. Peters, and
talked with him Il great deal told him
yarns, gave him toothsome scraps OF
personal history, and wove a glittering
streak of profanity through his garru-
ious fabric that was refreshing to II
spirit weary of the dull neutrality of
undecorated speech. One day the
captain said
tsPeters, do you over read the Bible:''
"Well-yts."
ttI judge it amt often by the way
you say it. Now you tackle it In dead
Don't you get discouraged, but hang
right on. First, you won't understand
it; but by and by things will begin to
clear up, and then you wouldn't lay it
down to eat"
ayes, have heard that said"
"And it's so, too. There amt a
book that begins with it. 1t lays
over 'em all, Peters. There's some
pretty tough things in it-there amt
any getting around that-but you stick
to them and think them out, and when
you once get on the inside everything's
plain as day."
sTie miracles, too, captain ?''
ayes, sir, the miracles, too. Every
one of them. Now, there's that BUSH
ness with the prophets Of BaaI; like
enough that stumped you.'
sWell, don't know but''-
Gown up, now; it stumped you.
Wen, 1 don't wonder. You hadn't
any experience in ruvelling such things
out, and naturally it was too many for
you. Would you like to have me ex-
plain that thing to you, and show you
how to get at the meat Of these mat
ters 2"
"Indeed, would, captsin, if you
don't mind.''
Then the captain proceeded as follows:
ssI'll do it with pleasure. First, you
see, ! read and read, and thought and
thought, till got to understand what
sort of people they were in old Bible
times, and then after that it was all
clear and easy. Now, this was the way
put it up, concerning Isaac* and the
prophets of Baal. There was some
mighty sharp men amongst the public
characters of that old ancient day, and
isaac was one of them. Isaac had his
failings-plenty OF them, too, it amt
for me to apologize for Isaac; he played
it on the prophets OF Baal, and like
enough he was justitiable, considering
the odds that were against him. No,
all I say is, 'twan't any miracle, and
that I'll show you so 's't you can see
it yourself.
@WeIl, times had been getting rougher
and rougher for prophets-thati is, pro-
phets of Isaac's denomination. There
WAS 45O prophets of Baal in the COM
munity, and only Que Presbyterian;
that ia, if Isaac was Il Presbyterian,
which 1 reckon he was, but it don't
say. Naturally, the prophets of Baal
took all the trade. Isaac was pretty
low spirited, reckon, but he was a
good deal Of n man, and no doubt he
went a-prophesying around, letting on
to he doing a land Office business, but
It want any use; he couldn't run any
opposition to amount to anything. By
and by things got desperate with him
he sets to work and thinks it all out,
and then what does he do? Why, he
begins to throw out hints that the other
parties are this and that and tho t'other
nothing very definite, may he, but
just kind of undermining their repu-
tation in Il quiet way. This made talk
of course, and finally got to the King.
The King asked Isaac what he meant
by his talk. Says Isaac, sOh, nothing
particular; only can they pray down
tire from heaven on an altar? It aint
much, may be, your Majesty, only can
they do it? That's the idea.' So the
King was u good deal disturbed, and
he went to the prophets of Baal, and
they said, pretty airy, that if he had
an altar ready they were ready; and
they intimated he better get it insured,
too.
$50 next morning all the children OF
Israel and their parents, and the other
people, gathered themselves together.
Well, here was that great crowd OF
prophets Of Baat packed together on
one side, and Isaac, walking up and
down all alone, on the other, putting
up his job. When time was called,
Isaac let on to be comfortable and in
different; told the other team to take
the first innings. So they went Mt it,
the whole 450, praying around the altar,
very hopeful, and doing their level
best. They prayed an hour--two hours
and so on, plumb till noon. 1t WASH t
any use; they hadn't took II trick. OF
course they felt kind of ashamed before
all those people, and wei! they might.