Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1877-09-05
TERMS:
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.


while the street lamp holds out to
burn.
Speaking of dancing, a clergyman
saws that "people usually do more
harm with their tongues than they do
with their tones"
A missing man was lately adver-
tised for, and described us having
Roman nose. He won't be found.
Such nose as that will never turn up.
A crusty bachelor explains that the
reason woman puts finger in her
mouth when she thinks, is because
she cannot talk and think too.
"The sacred heavens around him
shine," wrote the poet. The COM
postor put II: 'The sacred hyenas
around him whine"
A Western debating society has
been struggling with the question ::
ado boys or girls make the most
nose9" 1t was finally decided that
'.they do"
The body of a man who was car
ried over Niagara Falls has been re-
covered from the whirlpool. 1t was
stripped as clean as If it had fallen
among the hackmen.
Presbyterian Minister = "Don't
you know it's wicked to catch fish on
the Sabbath" Small Bor (uot having
had bite all the morning)-"Who's
catChin' fishl"
"Do you reside in this city2" asked
a masked man of masked lady at "A
masked party the other evening. e
felt sick when she said tn him, in n
low voice, "Don't be fool, John; |
know you by the wart on your
thumb" 1t was his wife.
An old bachelor was courtng
widow, and sought the art to give
their fading hair darker shade.
"Thut's going to be an affcctIonate
couple" said wag. "How so"
asked friend. "Why, don't you see
that tney are dying for each other
alreadyl" twas the reply.
A modest man sent the following
message over the wires To his triends;
''See ninth captcr of Isaiah, sixth
verse;" The old Bible was taken
down in an instant, and the above
chapter and verse were huated lut,
and were found to explain all. the
verse reads: SO! unto us child is
born-unto us son is given"
The train stops, and the brakeman,
in hoarsc voice and in an absolutely
unintelligible way, announces the
name of the station. "Speak more
distinctly!' cxclaims passenger; 81
can't hear word of what you say"
"What's that to me2" replied the
brakeman. "You can't expectto have
tenor for $50 MONTH"
"What are those purple posies
down by the brooke asked Gus. "lt
you mean," replied Clara, "those
glorious masses of empurpled efflor-
escence, that bloom in basky dells
and fringe the wImpling streamlets,
they are campanula rotundiilora." "
Gus plays billiards for living and
Clara goes to girls college.
A Pennsylvania Dutchman, who
married his second wife soon after the
funeral of the first, was visited with II
two hours serenade, in token of dis
approval. He expostulated Patheti-
cally thus: 81 say, poys, you ought
to pc ashamed of yourselfs TO pc
making all dis noise yer dar vas a
funeral here so soon."
A young gentleman telegraphic
operator in San Diego, CAL, after re-
peated calls for lady operator in an
other office, at last got response,
and then, "click, click, click" Qor-
,tissimo,) he telegraphed to her vehe-
meptly, 81 have been trying to get
you for the last hour!" In moment
the following spicy reply came trip
ping back to him over the wires from
the telegraphic maiden: "rhat's
nothing; there is young man here
who has been trying to do the same
thing for the last two years, and he
hasn't got me yet"
THOSE who are aware of the un-
certainty attending the business of
mining and milling ores in Colo
RADIO, will appreciate the humor of
the following stanza recently
''ground ont" by a friend Of ours
in that region who is running q
mine and stamp mills:
Stamp, brothers. stamp--stamp with care.
Stamp out the gold fer the millionaire
Stamp, brothers. etamp but frst beware,
Before you stamp, that the gold is there!