The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1877-10-25
A Domestic Sketch.

"Henry Archibald, do you ever in
tend to put that shelf up in the cellar,
or has body got to stump their toes
over preserve jars all their life every
time they go down in that dismal hole,
anyhow"
Henry leaned back from the breakfast
table. He was feeling the beneficial
effects of pound of sausage placed
where it had the best effect, and, look
ing benignly upon the dear aggravation
of his life, he observed:
"Did you say you wanted shelf"
yes, did, about hundred times,
and you know it, too" and there was q
presentiment of wrath in her accents.
81 thought 1 put you up shelf only
few years ago"
Gracious powers, man, that was
when Martha was baby, and now she
can wear my shoes"
"Y-a-a-s, and turn around in 'em,
too.n
"Now don't you dare for to go for to
agrivoke me, Henry Archibald" and
she shook fateful forefnger forninst
him. ''Not a drop o. sleep or wink
to eat shall your bones see tonight, till
that shelf is put up. Now, you mind
that"
"Well, where's board" and Henry
looked vaguely out into the yard, pick
ing his teeth.
"Here's board I've been savin' ever
so long" and Mrs. A. dragged her
white pine treasure out from behind the
wash-house.
CANT got no nails" and Henry
turned the board up on its edge and
sighted along it critically.
"I'll find you nails; you shan't have
that for an excuse to get out of work, 3"
and she disappeared into the garnet,
while Henry took the paper and COM
menced an article on the "Source of
the Amazon" Just as he was coming
to the conclusion that it didn't mean the
origin of Mrs. Archibald, that lady APP
peared.
"Here, young man; no goin' to
sleep over that old paper now. Get to
work"
"Wher's any hatchet?n
"Here it is; and she pranced out to
the wood-shed after it, then she cantered
over to Peel's and borrowed a saw and
carried all the things in the cellar, talk
ing veheminously all the time and getting
in high good humor at the prospect of
the shelf going up rapidly.
"Come now, dear, the things are all
ready for you"
Then Henry went down and looked
deeply interested, while she showed
how she wanted the hangers made, and
nailed them together. Then he held
them up while she nailed them on the
joists. Then he helped her lift the shelf
into position, and sat down on a wash
tub with an exhausted air to contem-
plate the perfect work.
81 think l made pretty good job of
that, considerin'," he remarked COM
placently.
Mrs. A. was standing on her tip-toes,
straining every muscle to drive final
nail in one of the hangers, and just then
the Ratchet emphasized itself on her left
thumb nail, and all the milk of human
kindness in her system turned into
smearcase. Henry chuckled foolishly
as she dropped the Ratchet on her most
sacred bunion, and as he fled through
the open cellar-way into the street he
had a vision of a crazy woman chewing
her left thumb and singing a jar of
preserved plums with her right hand.
1t caught him on the top of the head,
and breaking, spread quart of blood
colored sweet and sticky juice impair
italy over his face and down his neck.
The next thing he knew, he was in the
arms of policeman at the corner, in
whose ears he yelled historically:
"Take me in; take me in quick, L tell
you. haven't got ten feet the start OF
eternal punishment. "-EaSt7D (PG.)
Free Press.
The american architect says that the
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