The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-04-12
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

SENSE AND NONSENSE.
MArp or MoxEr-A young heires.
TIE Spite dogs star has set: his case ID
becoming Sirius. Is
Tns best fire-proof vault for your silver
Il not to have any silver. ---s s D.
GExrLENEN's trousers win be worn
closer fitting this spring.
CAMEt's-MAta grenadine Il the novelty
In thin goods for summer.
OFF in the Silly night-The bank de.
faulter. -Philadslphio Bxl!ettn.
To KEEP moths out Of old clothing, 1T
b recommended to give the clothing to the
poor.
A NAN driving q sheared horse always
nets proud and at the same time rather
ashamed.
"WHEN . dog Spitz, he may be con-
sidered mad" remarked somebody.
That's whelp put.
The Town Clerk of Salisbury, VT, has
Just received his fifty fourth consecutive
election to that Office.
The sleeves of new dresses fit tighter
than ever. To laugh in ones sleeve has
now become purely metaphorical.
The past winter has given positive
proof that the perfect snow pillow has not
yet been invented.-Detyoit Free Pres.
A QUAcK doctor advcrtises rather con-
fidentially: People never cough after
taking one bottle of my cough mixture"
Ar Florence, Arizona, there is restau.
rant kept by Chinaman, with Mexican
wife, negro cook, and white man for
waiter.
EARLY to bed and early to rise,
Makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise;
But early to ryes and tardy to bed
Makes a mans nose turn . cardinal red
THERE are occasions when the general
belief Of people, even though it he ground
less, works its effect as sure rs truth itself.
Schiller.
A GREAT many men-sOme compare
lively small men now-when put into
positions, would be Luthers and Colum-
buscs.-Chnpin.
THERE is man in Tennessee with such
big feet that, if he gets them wet in De-
cember, he doesn't have y cold in his
head until February.
IT is reported that the house in which
Sam Houston resided is standing in Hous-
ton, Tex, which seems very proper
place for it to stand.-N. o. Republican.
Two oysters in a gallon of lukcwarm
fluid at church fair are no longer called
stcws, but aquariums; but some people
think that there are too many fish to the
water.
A CROSS carved from precious wood, in
the center of which is q pin-lole which,
if placed to the eye, shows an altar, sacred
pictures and notices, is the latest fashion
able trinket.
A YOUNG lady named Viola, whose
father don't like young men, remarked
the other evening: 81 don't sec why my
father gave Me such name, II he didn't
want me to have bow.'
They talk of fitting up the Great East
ern for transporting cattle from this
country 10 England. That is beef eating
service for her, certainly. The cattle will
doubtless bc carried in the Storage.
1.-THE voice of the people" is q big
thing, but the man who is fishing for the
position Of Postofficc clerk often mistakes
his own bray for the wild cheers of forty
million frccmcn.-Detrot Free Pyess.
OLD Mrs. Simplcigh read that Il cost
$4,000 to move "Clcopatra's Needle"
from Egypt to London, and now she would
like to know about how much II would
cost to move ClcOpatra's sewing machine
the same characterization Herald
A FREEcHxAN has discovered that hu-
man hair can be transplanted, and bald.
headed men can become reasonably hirsute
by the process. 1t, however, requires
more skill than landscape gardening, and
only very rich men can stand the ex-
pense.
The telephone will soon revolutionize
domestic affairs, for the man, instead of
blushingly telling his wife at the supper
table that he will be detained at his office.
can 60 down town and whisper through
the telephone that it is lodge night.-Oi7
CITY Derrick.
A MARRIED man uptown had blue glass
put in his wife's sitting-room--to match
her eyes, he said. She returned the COM
pliment by having red glass put in her
husbands library-to match his nose, she
said. He didn't seem to appreciate the
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Herald.
A sERvANT-a1RL, who had been admon-
ished by her mistress to be very careful in
"washin' up" the best tea things, was
overheard shortly afterward induIging in
the following soliloquy while in the act of
wiping the sugar basin: " If was to drop
this ere basin, and was to catch it, sup
pose l shouldn't catch it; but I suppose If
I was to drop it, and wasn't to catch it,
reckon should catch it,
THERE ought to be NO more repining
about hard times. It is solemnfy an.
nounced that Fermat's celebrated theorem,
which was announced but not proved more
than two centuries ago, has at last been
demonstrated by Prof. Paolo Govini, of
Lodi, in Italy. The theorem is that "s
raised to the nth power, plus y raised to
the NTH power, equals . raised to the
nsth power" and with the point settled be-
yond dispute, consumption ought to in
crease and production diminish to an ex.
tent never equaled in the annals of the
world.-Detroit Free Pres.
As rule, sneeze is the warning Ma
turc gives that some part of the body Is
exposed TO q cooler temperature than the
other parts, and that the sneezcr is ''catch-
ing cold" Next to the warning, what IL
the use of the sneeze! It throws open
the pores of the whole body, and induces
. gentle perspiration; In q word, it throws
off the cold. A child rarely sneezes more
than twice-perspiratiO is readily induced
in youth; an old man, ON the contrary,
sneezes half dozen to . dozen times,
with q loudly.exposive Catalogue" It
is harder to set him perspiring. When
one is sitting by an open window, and be
finds himself sncczing, Nature tells him
he is taking cold. He should get up in.
stantly, walk about, and take full tum-
bier Of cold water to keep up the gentle
perspiration that the sneeze set in motion.
If he does this, he will not be telling. an
hour after, that he has . "c0ld in his
head" or chest, or lungs.-Dr. Il. Wsnt.
seorth. 'ibs
The Charm OF Perfect Manners.
THIS is grace of which think Amer
lean women are becoming very careless.
They are SO beautiful as race, 80 accus-
toned to conquest, that perhaps they are
getting to believe that P0pe's line,
Look in her face and you forget them al"
applies to manners; but beautiful w0m-
Al