Middletown transcript., 1877-10-06

eApeCteu1y uu4lhS IhO lhu0AFAON
A meek-eyed married man ofere'
as a test at spiritual seance that tn
medium name the articles in his wife
upper bureau drawer. The medium
said that the spirits would repeat tn
contents of Webster's Dictionary o
any other light task, but that life wa
too short to attempt the task proposed
and the rash proposer was hurried ou
of the hail.
Last Sabbath morning Burlington
minister was earnestly diseoursinl
about Peter and Paul, and said they
were good pair." "Good hand,
sleepily murmured a halfawakeneC
sport in the back pew, "take the pot
nothing here but ace high"
An anxious mother wants to know
how she can prevent young men pay.
ing her daughter attention. Persuade
the young lady to eat onions for her
health.
A certain Catskillian once "got reli-
gion,' and in relating his experience to
the meeting said he "telt like speck-
led hen-soarin' and soarin' round
kerswoop."
That boy that took down hornets
nest, and undertook to carry ID home,
thinking he had a bag of treasures, lost
the bag on his way, but succeeded. in
getting the hornets to accompany him
to his destination.
A sad, sweet smile went wandering
around a pious congregation in the
city a few days ago, when the good
pastor, with tender and solemn intona-
ton, read, "Do men gather thorps of
grains, or things of fstles?" And he
couldn't for the life of him, imagine
what they were smiling at.
Chicago newspapers say that St.
Louis belle, travelling in Europe, had
a last made exactly like her foot; and
she got it through the Custom House
free of charge as work of art, by pre-
tending that it was a part of Barth-
holdi's colossal statue of Liberty.
Is my breakfast ready ?" said an i'm
patient young man, who was trying to
got his morning meal at beer saloon.
"Don't know" said the waiter; "I'll
whistle up and see."
Heavens no; don't do that. L
sausage, and if you whistle
you'll have the whole lot down"
A man had recipe put up by an
apothecary, and after he had gone the
clerk discovered that he had passed
counterfeit 25 cent piece and 5 cent
bit. He informed the boss. ''Never
mind, said he, eff the 5 cent bit is good
there is profit of three cents"
"YOu politicians are queer people"
Iaid an old business man to an impecu-
NOUS partisan. "How so ?" asked the
politician. "Why, because you trouble
yourselves more about the payment Of
.he debts Of the State than you do
lbout your own
The politest of all darkies lives near
Frogtown. When he meets a gentle
nan Of his own color by moonlight he
ays: "Mr. Sam, do you know any
,lace in de neighborhood whar gem
nen might borrow chicken?
Sitting Bull thus expressed himself
0 reporter a short time ago in his
ural retreat: "Dana big Injun -
NhOopl Dana much brave! Whoopeel
Ie say cut down Feddel army, dam
nit : Me too. Whoopp
Mamma" said a little boy, sis our
Id hen going to be sent away for the
ummer?'' q guess not, my son. she
eplied; but why do you ask the ques-
ion?" Because 1 heard pa tell our
lew hired girl that they would have
weet time when he sent his old hen
way for the summer"
THE BURIAL OF A DoG.-A few
ays ago a black-and-tan dog belong
ng to lady South End resident died,
nd its mistress was inconsolable. The
ext day the team of one of our most
oted undertakes drove up to the
oor, and, subsequently, an employee
uickly carried a casket into the house.
nd soon thereafter the neighbors
ound a black-and-tan dog exhibited,
eatly laid out in fine rosewood cas-
ct. Upon this was laid great pro-
lsion of flowers surrounding a plate
-hich bore the following: LEO Gil
ian, aged 10 years 9 months l day."
he next move Of the lady was to OBJ
lin a burial for her pet in Mount Au-
urn Cemetery; but the officers Of the
would not allow burial.
he mourner would not be thwarted,
nd physician was induced to make
ut burial certificate tina "Leo Gil
ian died Of spinal meningitis" This
ocument was taken to the officials Of
lie Cambridge Cemetery, and the dog
as buried.-BOst0n Traveller.
A CRTTsgEP Mr. R1anIr. ct oIvvor-s