Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-02-12

Adam and Eve were favored in one
particular. They hadn't to wait a month
for election returns.
"How can 1 leave thee ?" sang a
drunken man, as he was fondly hugging
q lamp-post. A policeman, who CHANGED
to hear the song solved the conumdrum
at once.
A young woman in Rochester, N. Y,
has sued for damages a man who kissed
her. A man who can't kiss woman
without damaging her ought to pay for
his awkwardness.
An old lady from the rural districts
astonished clerk at one of the stores,
few days ago, by inquiring if he had
any "yaller developments. sich as they
did up letters imp
A postal clerk in Dubuke opened a
letter just to see if certain girl was
very sweet on a certain fellow. She was,
and the government is also very sweet
on the postal clerk.
The papers relate an anecdote of a
beautiful young lady, who had become
blind, having recovered her sight after
marriage. 1t is no uncommon thing for
peoples eyes to be opened by matrimOny.
An ingenious negro of Georgia has
invented method of rendering wood
piles burglar-proof, which is severe but
efectual in its operation. He inserted
half pound of powder in a chestnut
log and the neighbor who borrowed that
log has not since been in condition to
apply for another.
Benjamin 2" shouted Mrs. Toodles
to her husband, who was going out Of
the gate, "bring me up five cents worth
of snuff when you come" "Snuff Mrs
Toodles, snuff ?"' he calculated, as he
paused with his hand on the latch. "No
no, Mrs. Toodles, the times are too harC
to admit of such extravaganza yor
must tickle your nose with a straw wher
you want to sneeze."
"All this falling down on sidewalk
is sheer nonsense" observed an old man
''it is worse than that, it is downright
/. carelessness. Now when man reache
a slippery place, like this, for instance
he must-ah WOW !-wah !-whoop
-gorry ~ And when the old chap 60
. . through pounding stones and splitting
boards he lay on his back and helplessl
inquired, "Is it all over? and am
here 2"
There was an African negro who wa
once asked by a traveller what b
thought of the sun. He believed tn
world was fiat. "The sun !" said h,
. at comes up in the morning over there
: and goes down in the evening over there
ID and the next morning it comes up 9
this side again." "Does it ?" saidsth
traveller; show does it 90 across, then ?
- The negro was puzzled, but at last
bright idea struck him-"It gets acro'
D., in the dark p
A mother and babe were among IL
passengers at the Central depot yeste
day. She had the child carefully wra,
ped up, and this fact, perhaps, attractt
the attention of big fellow with thr
story overcoat and rusty satchel in b
hand. Sitting down beside her, he 7
marked: Gold weather for such lit
= people, isn't it?' She family nodde
n '.Does he seem to feel it much ?" cont
ued the man. She shook her head. 4"
it healthy child ?" he asked. seemil
greatly interested. "He was up to
ed few moments ago." she snapped ol
all .'but I'm afraid he's smelled so mu
whiskey that he'll have the delirium II
nd mems before nightI' The man got rig
mn up and walked out Of the room, and W
i've afterward seen buying cloves and cir
20 mon.-Detroit Free Press.