Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1877-09-13

and drown ii"
Mrs. Pitman fixed the bucket and gently
removed the covers. The judge held the
broom uplifted, and as soon as the black rib
bon of the watch was revealed, he cracked
away three or four times with the broom.
Then he pushed the thing into the bucket.
Then they took the bucket to the light to in
vestigate the matter. When the judge saw
what it was, he said:
II might've known that. Just like you
women. Who's going to pay me for that
watch? 1t is utterly ruined"
ut was you that made the fuss, not me-"
said Mrs. Pitman. "You needn't try to put
the blame off on me.'
"Oh hush up, and 60 to bed. I'm tired of
hearing your blather. Blame me if amt
going to get divorce and emigrate."
And the judge turned in and growled at
Maria until he fell fast asleep.
THE FIRST EXERCISE IN BoxING.-Last
evening there was some extraordinary fun in
the gymnasium. A boxing class had been
formed, consisting of ten pupils. Some wag,
connected with the institution, conceived the
idea of getting up riot in the class. He
Before the hour for the class meeting, he bored
hole through the ceiling and let down
rope, to the end of which he fastened a canvas
bag filled with sand. Above he had con-
federate manipulating the rope. When all
was in readiness, he remarked:
"Now, boys, I'll put you through the first
exercise. All get around the bag in circle
and begin to punch with your fists. Each
man must try and drive the bag over to the
man opposite, and the first man that fails to
keep the bag away from him, sets up the
beer"
This proposal was received with enthu-
siasm, and the class collected about the bag.
At the word they all began to punch with
will, getting more earnest and excited every
minute. Just about this time the fellow
overhead, who was watching the progress of
the game through hole in the ceiling, sud-
denly jerked up the bag about foot above
the heads of the excited class. The effect
can be easily imagined. Each man hit the
opposite man on the nose, and then they be-
gan to battle blindly. While the riot went
on, the man above occupied his time in pull
ing the bag up and letting it drop on the
heads of the combatants The way the blood
spurted around over the floor would have de-
lighted Wild Bill. They rolled over, got
each others heads in chancery, struck from
the shoulder in earnest, and had plenty of
fun generally. When they finally got quieted
down and began to look for the two men who
had put up the job, the parties could not be
found.-Nrginia City (Neuada) Chronicle.
GONG TO THE CoUNTRY.-"My folks are
going to the country to be gone all summer"
enthusiastically exclaimed little girl, yester-
day, as she met another on Cass Avenue
"Your pa must be awful rich, replied the
second.
80, no, he isn't; but if you'll never tell
anybody, I'll tell you something"
81 never will-hope to die if I do -.
swell, then, pa was telling ma that we'd
all 60 out to Uncle Johns Ma, she'll work
for her board pa will work in the saw mill,
I'll pick berries and ride the horse to plow
corn brother Tom will 60 with lightning
rod man, and while you folks are in the awful
heat, we'll be putting on airs and fixing over
our clothes for fall. Don't you tell, now. for
ma is saying to everybody that she must have
the country air to restore her shattered
nerves."
h9- During the recent unpleasantness in
Chicago, a party of roughs called on Robert
Law, rich coal dealer. "You must pay
your men $500 day, or we will shut you
up." said the spokesman. "And who the
deuce are you, p demanded Robert. ave
represent the labor strike, and must be
obeyed," imperiously demanded the spokes-
man. "Well, you want me to pay my men
$500 day do your" "Yes, and you must
do it, too" "I'm much obliged to the labor
strikers. I am now paying my men from
$500 to $3.50 day, and reduction to $500
will be good thing for me; but 60 and see
the workmen about it."
A TRUE SroRY-A good deacon E., a
pillar in the church, raised pair of steers
and finally sold them to Mr.. Jake, who was
terribly deaf and not a church goer. Some
time after the sale, the deacon was agreeably
surprised to see the buyers of the steers at
church, and as services were over, shook bis
hand heartily and asked for the health of bis
family. The deaf buyer, having the sale
chiefly in mind, and thinking the deacon
would be chiefly interested in the steers he
had raised, answered in very bluff and loud
voice, heard all over the church, LOUSY
Lousy! Lousy as the devil"
AN ANCIENT VALET.-A gentleman OF
Angus had an ancient valet named Gabriel,
whose petulance and license Of speech went
80 far as to be almost intolerable. One day,
at dinner, Gabriel took the liberty of calling
something that was said "a great lee u
"Well," said the laird, really offended, and
rising from the table, "this will do no longer
Gabriel, we must part at last" "Hout, tout
laird" replied Gabriel, pressing his master
again into his chair, "whaur wad your honor
be better than in your ain house ?" not con-
ceivng the possibility Of his own removal.
s@ Doctor" said an old lady to her fami.
ly physician, "kin ye tell me how it is that
some folks are born dumb " "Why, hem,
hem certainly madam" replied the doctor
"it is owing to the fact that they come into
the world without the power of speech j.
LA, me-" remarked the old lady 'now jess
see what it is to have physical eddication:
I've axed my old man more nor hundred
times that same thing, and all that l could
ever get out of him was jest this, 'Kase they
is.'"
TH1RsTY.-A "hard case" was interroga.
ted, the other Sunday, by friend who had
Just seen him at church, but whom he now
found swallowing glass Of brandy and water
at public bar-room: 81 saw you in church
this morning listening to discourse upon
Righteousness and temperance; how comes II
al