Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-03-14

that could sing, and by about seven
hundred steamboat loads that
couldn't.
i passed by little establishment
around the corner, and thought a
glass of beer would sooth me, but
would you believe it?- that
heather Dutchman had the impu-
dence to stand there and roll out
"Schweed Py-und-Py" at me by
the barrel.
| had seen very beautiful young
lady Just across the street from our
hotel, and, while Mrs. "Mero' was
taking her afternoon nap, l slipped
out to get Il glimpse of the fair
maiden. / had just stationed my
self on the corner in front of her
house, as if | was waiting for car,
and was getting ready to look dis
tinguished, when she shot of, Just
like the others:
"Therell he rc-c.Esr',l
By-and-by -yi-HI!!!"
| thought if she'd give us a few in
stalments of it right noe, we'd be
willing to trust her for the balance.
went home snorting like loco
motive, and woke Mrs. "Mero" up
suddenly.
Now, Mrs. "Mero" hasn't any
temper at all, but she can do some
of the tallest acting on record,
when she pretends that she's mad.
She rose from that bed like fire
engine.
Whenever l see her begin to
tramp around the room like a
young buffalo, and stop occasional
ly to kick over little "Mero," and |
tear up one of my new shirts, l |
know she's getting ready for a re-
hearsal, and then l commence to
meander out of the back window.
Things began to look that way this
time, and / meandered.
i have often tried to induce her
to go on the regular stage, and take
a staring" tour for six months
or even year-but, she says she
can't leave the bosom of her family.
l don't know about the rest of
the "bosom," but | think there's
one portion of it that could man
age to worry through a short sea-
son with ut her.
That's me
Last night she commenced one !
If her rehearsals, and / concluded +,
hat it would be cooler sleeping
)ut on the roof, hut / hadn't been
here five minutes before the neigh !
oor's hired girl began to gouge
hat everlasting tune out of an old
pavined piano, as though she had E
wallowed sewing machine, and t
t was trying to crawl out through c
Ter fingers.
have heard that song so often, |
md I've heard it issuing from
mouths inhabited by invalid teeth, !
hat | don't believe / could buy !
piano without inquiring what kind !
If breath it had.
If that sort of people will sing, !
ct every fellow sing a different :
une, and turn his face the other ,,
way when he does it. :
Now, when some good man COM
poses a beautiful song like "Sweet
By-and-By"-for it ,cas beautiful
once-it looks almost like sin,
md it certainly is a satire on mu-
sic, to have it beloved by boot !
blacks, and hashed by boarding. ,,
house keepers, and screached by
peanut women, and thrown around
loose by everybody, like tossing
cabbage heads to hogs. The very
tailors in town cut pantaloons by !
that tune.
Singing is like eating ice-cream.
So long as you eat ice-cream
with r spoon, and shut your eyes
when you swallow, it's
refined eating; but when you go
to pitching it down your throat
with spade, it loose its flavor. 1t
looks too much like filling up
grave.
If could spare the money, I'd
buy two or three orphan asylumns
and turn 'em loose on these Phila-
1t might do me some good, and,
besides, it would please the or
phans.
The majority Of the little "Me-
ros," thank goodness, have no more
taste for music than they have for
eating padlocks, and, if the June