The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-10-05


The mule is the animal Noah didn't take
into the ark with him. / have looked over
the freight-list carefully, and could not see
mule way-blled for any place. So clear
headed man as Noah did not dare to take
one on board, as he knew he would kick a
hole through the craft in less than week.
| don't know man on whose head you could
pour quicksilver and run less risk of its spill.
ing off than Noah's He was dreadful lev
d-headed man, and before the freshet was
over everybody on earth realized the fact
The origin of the mule is enveloped in a
good deal OF mystery. Tradition informs us
that when the flood had subsidized, and the
ark had landed on Mount Ararat, Noah was
very much surprised in one of his first OBJ
servations to find good healthy mule stand
ing on an adjoining mountain. The same
| tradition informs us that the mule is the on |
| ly animal that lived through the food out
side of the ark.
The mule can be considered in good
many ways, though the worst place from
which to consider him is directly from be-
hind anywhere within radius of ten feet
never consider mule from that point, un-
less | am looking through the fue of boil.
| er.
Sea captains and people who have to do
with mules always pay an extra rate to life
insurance companies. A mule and belt of
country where yellow fever is indigenous
generally stand the same as regards the
death rate.
The word mule comes from the Greek and
signifies 'to stop" aud the mule himself
comes to stop. Like multiplied by like
produces like. Grasshoppers multiplied by
grasshoppers produces famine, and potato
bugs multiplied by potato bugs produce
rise in the price of yeast. But wuen you
tIy to multiply mules by mules they don't
multiply, and hence the word mule. You
may study your arithmetic and read through
all Of Trains lectures, but you can't discov
er why this is so, any more than you can
why u woman cannot put on a rubber with
out leaning up against something.
The mule has one more leg than milk
ing stool, and he can stand on one and wave
the other three around in as many different
directions. He has only three senses, hear
ing, seeing and smelling. He has no more
sense of taste than stone jug and will
eat anything that contains nutrment, and
| he don't care two cents whether it be one
per cent. or ninety-nine. All he asks is to
pass him along his plate, with whatever
happens to be handy round the pantry, and
he won't 60 away and blow how poor the
steak is He just eats whatever is set be-
fore him, and asks no questions.
Mules are naturally deaf, but that supreme
wisdom that teaches little boy to wipe his
nose on his sleeve, has fitted the mule out
with pair of ears that counteracts its deaf
ness, so he can hear as readily as person
when you don't want him to. These ears
o answer double purpose, as tunnels to pour
b sound into his head, and also as fans to brush
away the flies with and keep his head cool.
They are hung by hinges to the side of his
h head, and flap backwards and forwards like
a pair of wet trowsers round boys legs In
g cold latitudes quite a tasty business is done
in mules ears. The ears are cut off and
dried and sold for snow shoes, and the snubs
are trimmed up and the mules are sent
South and sold for horses. In this way q
: great many fine horses were purchased foi
the army by the United States.
If were to have a large picture of limo.
!. cence to hang up in my parlor, and l did
d not wish to sit for myself, should geta cor
c rect likeness of mule. There is innocence
e enough depicted in mules countenance to
g fit out Sunday school class. 1t looks a:
&c guleless as au angle-worm.
c A mule never grows old or dies. Once
Dc brought into existence, he continues on for
&c ever. The original mule is now alive some
,,cc where in the South and is named Robert
Dc Toombs, because he is so stubborn.
,c Mules are chiefly found in the South anC
&c West. They have been more abused thar
,,cc Judas Iscariot. A boy who would not throw
&c a stone at a mule if he got chance would
&c be considered by his parents as too mean t.
'' raise.
le Th e mule is a good worker, but he canno
&c be depended on. He is liable to strike, anC
&c when mule strikes, human calculation fail
nc to find out any rule by which to reckon
DC when he will 90 to work again. 1t is usees
Or to pound him for he will stand more beatinl
than sitting-roOm carpet. He has beel
known to stand eleven days in one spot, ap
parently thinking of something and the
start off again as though nothing had hap
pened. a.
Down South, when they have surplus Q
small darfeys on the plantation, they sen
them out into the barnyard to play wher
there is loose mule. They always bi
them goodbye when they start out, for the
are sure the parting will be final. This
the most economical style of funeral now il
the market.
To fully appreciate the mule one shoul
listen to his voice. You never can reall
know whether you like mule or not till 20
have heard him sing. l attended mul
concert at Fort Smelling. The programm
opened with soprano solo, then swung in
to duett, and then pranced off into tri'
followed up by quartette, and ending wit
full chorus by l50 mules. l didn't hes
the whole thing, for when / came to, th
regimeutal surgeon was standing over m
0, giving me powerful restoratives, and hear
him say that | might possibly get out agai
though / would never be a well man.
have been through the New York Stock +,
change, have spent part of day in a boi
er factory, and have been on one or two SUI
day school excursions for children; but
never knew what noise was until / heard
lot of army mules bray. 4
One of the dead certainties of mule
that he is sure footed, especially with h
hind feet. He never misplaces them.
' he adv. rtises that hia feet will he on n ce