The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1877-05-31

big clothes .nd y nelaEly, lla j,amming ths exe
in getting into his RafidenI aiidi II He did notss'
return just then, but sp6ht tie 'no13 tHssi
hours thrashtn9 dirtyte9rPett with abrpoout
handle,s choking 1aand gblndiaG himse}f, +,
with, dust raising blisters on this hsndt,D
bumps on bis head, and such ! quihtity =. :.
of profanity sins Ill lis conscience. itsl
bottles Of linimennt and weeks 0lf piety Wilt
scarcely effect . cure When hsi didao Il
in: it was: with the faee.efi.a chinneym,
sweep, muscles aching, hands 'smarti4. i,
shins paining, eyes watering and temper
soured to such an extent that even, those
ductive chai1asiof the cold mutton boa6
dished up again. for his supper, failed ap-,si
tiply: to reato!e him te: good hqme.r. obi 40
Nm. y. retired eatly,, :vosgp ont; xifh :,
ths duties SIS Of the day, md :Wadso, hayinE
washed himself at the Kitchen stnalk VII "a
yellow soap, locked up theHhouse, sextis-, p;
gushe1 thesga and went sadly sorely j,
and hungrily to bed. = 49, .<: ,,.,,
"curse iii" he exclaimed, as be- foil llI''
over the rocking g-chair on entering the
pitch dark room and was Kicked In the ear J
with the rocker. '....% i
"Oh, heavens! what noise youhe 4:
making" screamed his wife from the =,
bed.
"Why in thunder didn't you leave
things where they belong2"' he yelled, asT
he tried to get out of the clutches IF the !
kicking, foundering chair. ... ,..:i n
"1t's your own stupid awkwardness!' .:
she answered. :" .,..-- ,:..,.. -.
Its, your confounded upsetting r. re- =.
orted Wadso, getting up on his feet and -
sitting down in the place where the bed !"
used to stand. - =
'Mercy on me! what the dickens is :
this?" he yelled, upon finding the bed r..
gone, and he wildly clutched ata table to :,
save himself from falling, dragging a.
globe of gold fish down upon his head
with crash ~ '''
"You'll break everything in the housel'
cried his wife, jumping out of the bed: :.
in the opposite corner and lighting the =,
gas.
"House be ha-hanged, wo-wo-man :,
Pm drowned!" gasped Wadso, wring.'
ing the water out Of his hair, eyes, and;
shirt.
at serves you right! Look at the
mess you've made!' snapped Mrs. W.,
as she Topped around in her night-clothes
to pick up the Topping fish and put them
in basin. 4':'
Wadso, having got on his feet again, /
was about to reply, when he beheld the .
partner of his Joys and sorrows suddenly j,
drop the basin, kick out like mule, and
prance around the room on one foot,
like dancingdervish, finally collapsingl'' y
in groaning, moaning, sobbing, ,hystericat ~
heap of bare feet, agony and sleeping :,
i, 80,
"Cramps, chr he inquired, solicitously,
as he wiped his neck dry with the corner
of the counterpane. = =
"Much y-you care!" she sobbed, nurs- "r
ing her foot, after having extracted . full !
grown, well-developetl = tack she had :
stepped on. =, 49,.
aid sooner have the plagucy house :.
burnt down than the way it is" growlcd !
Wadso, as he turned the gas out and him. -
self into bed. r.. III
Il wish you would carry that clock
down to the parlor," said Mrs. w. next :,
morning as he was about descending to >
the brcakfast-table.
Wadso took the clock in his arms, and u
preceded her, treading carefully down the .
stairs. He Glanced to step on piece. of9is
soap, forgotten while scrubbing the day y,
before, and after trying to kick the CELL >,
ing over his head and failing, his feet
flew out, and he slid down the remainder u
of the flight with velocity that threat =
cned to carry him through the hall doof
at the foot, the old clock bounding after =:
and striking him in the back Of the head Il,
every second stair hard enough to loosen
his back teeth.
Mrs. w. sat down on the stairs and be. :
gan to cry, thinking he was killed but he ii
arose after minute, shook hs fist at her: I;
and said: Il: ....... ...*.s =
IF you don't stop this blamed house. ;:
cleaning business, right away, I'll get =,
divorce" 49,
He took his hat off the rack, jammed ii :
over his eyes, went out, slammed the dooRsEs
after him, when his next-door neighboe j
met him and said pleasantly: ia
"Oh! Wadso, good morning" xsy
$50 way from me, he replied, " " I'll
m aah vO,1 into a rcilli0,, niocoa - .''' = 81