The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1877-03-22
PITH AND POINT.

4
per: "This wheat by and by"
A MODEST country editor says: sour
editorials have been crowded out this
week by pressure of interesting read
ing matter.
"'Change cars is what a bootblack
said to q countryman the other day,
when he had finished one of his bro
gans.
SOME people like oysters on half
shell, others quail on toast; but as for
US, we prefer eagles on ZEN dollar gold
pieces.
ANY one who can raise q moustache
that will droop down over his mouth
can considerably sneer at the man VINO
invented coffee STANDARDIZATION
Times.
Astonishing cure for consump-
ton |" as the old clearinghouse keeper
said when she sprinkled her pumpkin
pies with cayenne pepper before put
| ting them before the boarders.
"Grandma, why don't you keep q
servant any longer?" "Wen, you see,
my child, am getting old now, and
can't take care of one as used to, you
know"
ANY lady can press her old bonnet
over into the new spring style by plac-
ing it on pavement block and letting
a loaded ice-wagon back over it length
wise.
IT was a stranger with red hair who
opened the spring season at Niagara
Falls. After seeing that he had red
hair, no one questioned his right to 60
over.-Detroh Free Press.
WHY is Saturday the best day to
make inquiries at the general post
officer Because its ten to one you'll
find the clerks there, and on ether days
it's ten to four.-Punch.
THE Boston Commercial Bulletin says
Little Johnnie is quite sure the picture
of Spitz dog he drew on the parlor
wall was good, because it made his
father mad.
WOMEN" remarked the contem
plative man, ARE as deep as the slue
waters of yon bay" AYE" rejoined
the contemplative man, and as full of
craft"
A SEAL skin and a hustle, in wo-
mans opinion, ought to 60 together.
That's fact; they are both fur down
the back.
A New HAVEN German has written to
the police to have watshman sta
toned at his store to "katsch certain
"lovers " (loafers) who he believes hang
around it.
"WELL, Sambo, how do you like
your new place." "Berry well, massa."
"What did you have for breakfast this
morning." "Why, you see, Misses
billed three eggs for herself, and gave
me de brof."
THE blue glass fever continues to
spread. A little boy wants his father to
put some blue glass in the chicken
coop, to make he hens lay blue eggs
for Easter. A thoughtful suggestion.
-Norr Herald.
WELL schooled. ed.-Pohceman: "Now,
then, young man, you ought to be in
school," Small boy: "School? Ugh!
there amt no more school for mel l
passed all my examinations and took
my degree; got it framed and Jung up
LITTLE g1rI iUUnIne ~. o.,
jewelry-" Please, grannie, give me
those earings?" Grannie-"No, dear,
can't spare them now, but when | die
all my rings and money will be yours"
Little girl" Well, grannie, but how
soon will you die?"
LADIES dresses will fit more closely
that ever this spring. Their dresses
will be made so tight, indeed, that love-
ly woman will lose her last relic OF su-
periority over man-she won't be able
to put her clothes on over her head any
more.-Hasokeye.
A MARRIED man up town had blue
glass put in his wife's sitting room-to
match her eyes, he said. She returned
the compliment by having red glass
put in her husbands library-to match
his nose, she said. He didn't seem to
appreciate the compliment.-Noris-
tom Herald.
HIGH church below stairs-Mistress
(astonished): Wish to leave, Jane?
Why, you have been here only week.
Whatever is the reason? Maid: Fast
is, ma am, Pm used to 60 to mathis at
eight A. M, and that's the very hour
when master will have his breakfast
Judy.
THE Poughkeepsie Eagle asks: Why
can't witness "sass" lawyer as well
as q LAWYER "sass" witness? SIM
ply because it takes years of practice
at the bar to do the thing effectively.
If you try to "sass" lawyer you'll
make as many blunders as there are
unnecessary words and phrases in q
lawyers brief.
Yet q little while, and the woman
the home goddess VINO now stands look
ing dreamingly down at the sitting
room carpet, wondering if it hadn't bet
ter be turned when she cleans house
next month, win be charging around il
the pantry, wondering how three bush
els and half of red ants can crowd
themselves into a half-pint sugar bowl
-Haaokeye.
THE following paragraphs, intended
to nave been printed separately, were
by some blunder so arranged that they
read consecutively in Paris journal
"Dr. - has been appointed heac
physician to the Hospital de La Charlie
Orders have been issued by the author
tiles for the immediate extension of the
cemetery of Mount Parnasse; the
works are being executed with the ut
most dispatch"
| UNwARRANTABLE intrusion-Gentle-
man: Il hear you had bad luck on
Friday, Jem ?" Huntsman: "Luck
sir? 1 believe yer A lot % them
blarmed townies come out 'ollerin
and shoutin', frightenin' the poor
foxes out O their seventeen senses
The Queen oughter make law as they
| shouldn't bIIild no towns not within ten
mile o pack of 'ounds l"-London
Fun.
A MAN was telling his symptoms
which appeared to himself, of course,
dreadful-to Scotch medical friend
who, at each new item of the disorder.
exclaimed: Charming Delightful
Pray go onl' And wher he had fin.
ished, the doctor said, with the utmost
pleasure, "Do you know, my dear sir
you have got complaint which has
been for some time supposed to be ex,
tinct. / am so gladt"