The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1877-04-05
Miscellaneous.

Miscellaneous.
Celery is good for the nerves; but sal
airy is better.
Do not forget that while you fold your
hands Time folds not his wings.
There's nothing new under the SUM-
Herodotus mentions the blue glass the
ory. -a
Every disease can be cured by taking
panes, according to the blue-glass theory.
The less man knows, the higher he
tries to climb on other peoples ladders.
Have you heard INV last song7 asked
music writer of a gruff critic. 81 hope
So" was the reply.
black eyes, says: rfhey are mourning
for the murders they have committed" /"
Reel estate is active" hopefully OBJ
served a Danbury merchant on seeing a
very dirty diunkard go by.
Old Boreas of late acts just like mem
Der of Congress. He blows so hard when
there is no apparert necessity for it.
Genenal Washington couldn't tell a
lie, and in this respect he differed mate
rally from General Washington Dis
patches.
A Kansas politician was struck by
lightning, but his skull was so thick that
the fluid glanced off and killed fine
Kentucky stallion.
Three castor beans strung on a silk
thread and hung around your neck will
prevent cholera-if you draw the thread
tight enough.
The Boston reporters steal into Mr..
Moody's inquiry meetings in the disguise
OF sinners, and the good man doesn't dis
cover the deception.
A creased dog cannot run so fast as a
boy in q cellar who hears his mother say
she must 60 down and see if the cat i.
after the preserves.
Men talk about the idle wind; but the
wind is always busy, and, like a cheerful
farmer, whistles at its work.
English railway corporations are EN-
ploying women as clerks at the stations
Their experience in managing trains and
switches probably suggested the expert
ment.
Tilden has been provided for, after all
Hayes gives him the Department of the
Exterior, and both sides say Amen.
A philosopher who went to a church
where the people came in late said it wa,
"the fashion there for nobody to 60 til
everybody got there"
A man directed in his will that hi
body be cast into the river, in order tha'
his wife might be thwarted in her deter
mination to dance upon his grave"
Baldheaded men are so numerous ir
Chicago that an audience in that city il
said to look, when viewed from above
like a cobblestone pavement.
A Kentucky girl deserted her recent,
espoused lord when she discovered tina
one of his legs was a wooden one. II,
might have urged that she was ais,
wooed an won. =.
Professor in Chemistry-"Suppose yol
were called to a patient who had swal
lowed heavy dose Of oxalic acid, wha
would you administer
K. (who is preparing for the ministry
and who only takes chemistry because i
is obligatory)-"I would administer tn
sacrament"
Statistics as to causes Of insanity ar
made frequently, but no one, we believe
has ever computed the number of peopl
driven into madness every year by tn
utter impossibility of getting an oversize
that won't make a foot like an over
grown -four barrel in a waterproof mar
tie.
The ornamental young men who stan,
at pianos and turn the music for tn
girls are disgusted with meddlin
Dutchman, who has invented machin
with which the player turns the page
with a slight pressure of her foot