Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1877-10-06

IN nj eis discoveries of the modern phil
ssSPAsrs, from Polycarp r. PillycsmI
down to those lately assembled at Nash
vile. Mr. Parker reads all the trans
actions Of ali the societies for the pro
mnlgnaien Of This, That, and The 9th
~, and iiscourses iearnedly thereon
Yesterday Mr.. Parker read that a lady
had presented 4 paper before the Science
AssOeistionin Nashville, in which, among
ether valuable things, she had suggested
. method for the determination of mos.
9uitoes. flake POWDER" said this es.
Unable woman, "and place it in a
shovel; close all the doors and windows
VI your room, and then explode the
powder, The conclusion will extermi-
nate all the mosquitoes in the apart
ment'
~What discorery,'' said Mr.. Par
ker. as he read, glowing with excite
mcnt, and emphasizing his remark with
\ resounding slap on the bald spot on
top Of his head. where one of the pests
whose destruction he was meditating
had established himself in business.
"Great guns!'. continued he, "what
\ noble idea. So simple, SO inexpensive,
70 easily applied. No complicated ap-
pAratus needed; only shovel. WHO'S
there that hasn'ta shovel and a pound
or two of powder? Where is there a
grocer's shop AT which one can not get
powder? And only to think that this
phiianthropic invention should have
been struck out, in moment of inspir-
aton, by a womani Oh, woman!"
said Mr.. Parker, ecstatically, Sin our
hours OF ease, uncertain, coy, and hard
to please, bur when mosquitoes nip the
brow, fierce, destroying angel thou,"
Al the conclusion of this apostrophe to
woman, Mr.. Parker, seizing his shovel |
in his right hand, and pointed it
toward heaven, and, assuming the atti-
hide of Liberty Enlightening the
World, shouted Tableau," in a loud
rOiee. Then he went out and bought
'wO pounds of powder.
When Mr.. Parker returned to his
'oOm he made elaborate preparations.
He closed the windows carefully, and,
% secure the best results, stuffed cotton
n nil the cracks. then he shut all the
loors and locked them. After he had
snksssed those arrangements he glanced
bout the room.
Two fat mosquitoes sat leering at him
rom the top OF his bookcase. All was
aim without; through the closed win
lows came the muifled hum of the city's
Myriad activities. The wall of peri
sasesic glazier could be family heard,
md his pathetic "glass puddin'" sound
d like prophecy. The sun shone
rightly. the birds sang sweetly, the wa
ers of the bay danced to the fluting of
he breeze. Within all was silence and
xpectation. "Aha," said Mr.. Park
z, pouring the powder into the shovel
nd perhaps fancying himself modern
NY Fawkes-- s'death, odds bodkins,
ssitiffs, thine hour has come" (he was
addressing the mosquitoes), "thy shrift ,
hall be short one. Marry come ND, by
ny halidom." By this time the shovel
,As full OF powder, and dropping his .
haracter of conspirator Mr.. Parker !;
nbbed his hands cheerfully together
nd began to.hunt for match. At last +,
e found one. he scratched it upon the !
rail-, but before he applied it he thought !.
I a passage from Orpheus. Just the /.
hing, said he, ''for funeral Grafton.
III give it TO EN- Then, keeping :,
ne eye on the fat mosquito and the 9th =
r on the match, he said: 81 have \
laced my hand in the hamper. have =
asted the sacred barley. have beaten :
Ne drum. | have said 'konox ompax. y
nd II is finished" Mr.. Parker touch. "
the match to the powder-!.,,!,!
WAS finished.
As the policeman conducted MIR. ;,
arker through the streets half an hour a
Tier the explosion the boys thought the :;
I"ooed man had been arrested for get ri
ne drunk. 10 such an extent had the :,
p'dermicai administration of powder "