The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1877-01-18
DOG-WORSHIP.

which man might, If he felt SO dis
posed, step for the purpose of being
shaved, or of having his hair brushed.
It will be easily understood, then, that I
was not little astonished, on pushing
open the door and taking two downward
steps, to discover the proprietor in his
SHIFT sleeves and with a white bibbed
apron on, busy with the tools of his
craft on four footed customer-a shay
gy-coated dog Of the smallest size.
It was evident that the favored animal
had just been luxuriating in a warm
bath. With tender solicitude the bar
Der was rubbing him dry, and the at
mosphere of the shop was laden with
the fragrance of brown Windsor soap.
The dog and the barber did not have it
all to themselves, however. The opera
ton in progress was watched, with
moody interest, by an individual of not
particularly prepossessing appearance
a seedy and threadbare man in shabby
black, who looked like an out f-work
tailorFo weaver. I Thought, at the mo-
ment, that the pair gave guilty start as
appeared before them, and I straight
way came to the sagacious conclusion
that, by chance, had stumbled on q
discovery similar to that which was re-
vealed to certain man who went down
to Jericho. 1t was as clear case as
possible. The lanky man with the
threadbare coat and the hungry visage,
although possibly tailor or weaver
by trade, had essayed to improve MS
fortune by dog,stealing. l knew that
when watch was stolen the thief's first
business was to carry it to an obiging
friend, who would erase such marks and
numbers as might lead to it's Identified
ton. There could be no question that
the barber was confederate of the
dog-stealer, and that by skillful use of
the scissors-and, perhaps, of hair dye
alsO-was able to so alter an ANIMAL ap-
pearance that even it's fond mistress
would find it difficult to swear TO it.
elf you will only take seat, sir, and
amuse yourself with the newspaper for
five minutes" remarked the barber,
civilly, 'I shall be at your service"
It was a tickiish situation. There was
once barber, Sweeney Todd by name,
if l rightly remember, who kept shop
in Fleet street, ostensibly for cutting
hair and moving boards, but whose real
business was the cutting of human
throats. There was trap-door in the
floor of Sweeney's shop on which the
victims chair was placed, and, after he
had been lathered, Mr.. Todd would say,
"Just tilt your head a little farther
back, sir, SO as may get at the under
meath part!" And then-slish and in
a jify the body was robbed, the bolt
that held the trap Withdrawn, splash
was heard in the turbulently- flowing
Fleetwood ditch below, and mop and
a handful of clean sawdust made the
shop clean and tidy for the next Gus
toner. Might not this be the fate in
store for me, the villainous haircutter's
suavlty being merely blind9 I need
not be shaved at ali events; I would
merely have my hair brushed and my
whlskers trimmed. An assault with
par OF scissors might be painful; but it
Was hardly likely that the first snick
would do my BUSINESS, and in tussle I
felt pretty confident who would get the
best Of 1t. So l sat down and opened
out the newspaper, before carelessly OBJ
serving that was in no hurry; at the
same time resolved to diligently watch
and listen.
Remarked the moody man to the bar
Der: care you sure that you wrenched
all the soap out of his hair COS ii you
haven't it will tell up in his weight, you
know"
He's as clean as new pin," replied
the barber, brushing away at the little
animals silky fleece. "You ought to be
as proud OF him as mother Is of her
newborn baby. He's beauty, there's
no mistake about that"
"Ah! it's all very well for you that
haven't got him on your mind" said the
moody man, deiectedly; he's too much
OF beauty for me-.
elbow too muchQ"
''Three ounces too much. I should
be a happy man if it WASH t for that
blessed three ounces. Haln't there no
how that you could get it off of HING
'"Couldn't possibly be done" returned
the barber, decidedly; "couldn'C be
done, Mr.. Wix. OF the two he has
been brought down too fine as it is. If
you go tampering with him, as sure as
eggs you'll undermine his constitoo-
stion."
"Well, it's pretty state of things I"
broke out the other, after few Sec
onds' silent bordering on the BARRIERS
last words; "'pon my soul it is very
pretty thing that man is to have all the
'appiness haunted out OF him just be-
cause dawg-a dumb dawg, mind yer
can't be got to waste three ounces of
his weight"
And he laughed laugh which would
have been hollow, but for the bitterness
in it.
Nature is nature, Mr.. WIKI" re-
marked the little barber, soothinglY.