The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1877-04-11
CIVIL SERVICE REFORM.
How Mr.. Hayes Makes - Man DC
Duty a. Hts w,fe's Cousin I'm Illus
trating His Ciyn Ssr vice Ideas.

HOW MI. hayeB maAcS " NoD $50
Duty a. HIS W.fe's Cousin I'm Illus
trating His Ciyil Ssr yice Ideas
New York sun.
The Presidents. private secretary
opened the door leading ~ the inner
room, and announced in loud and DIS
tinct voice: ea
IA gentleman who says, that no Is q
relative of Mrs. Hayes.
"AhP'. said Mr.. Hayes, IN voice
equally loud and distinct, SHOW him In.
lam always glad to see family connec-
tons. By the way, ask ne shorthand
writer to come in, too"
The relative of Mrs. Hayes approached
the President and wInked. Mr.. Hayes
approached the relative of Mrs. Hayes
and winked in return. The Shorthand
reporter also winked and took out his
note book.
al see you don't recognize me-" said
the relative of Mrs. Hayes, "my name is
Pettengill, and / live in Oshkosh. My
wife is q cousin of your excellent lady
"Put that down." said Mr.. Hayes TO
the shorthand writer. The shorthand
writer winked and put it down.
any dear Pettengiil, / am delighted to
see you. / regard Mrs. Hayes cousins
as my own cousins said Mr.. Hayes cor
daily. You got that" he added, turn
lag to the reporter.
az came East continued the cousin Of
Mrs. Hayes, "to see about the Oshkosh
postc flee. Some OF the people there think
i would make good postmaster, and Of
course being cousin"
Pardon me, my dear Mr.. Pettengill,"
said Mr.. Hayes, speaking slowly in order
that the reporter might catch every
word. 81 have no doubt that you would
make an admirable, faith ul and efficient
Postmaster, and it would give me great
pleasure to sign your appointment. But,
YOU see, there is one insurmountable OBJ
stacle IN the way. The fact of your cous-
inship disqualifies you for any position
IN my gift. Good day, sir. l am
sorry
"Hold on, Mr.. President" whispered
the cousin; 'this won't do. That Is the
same form of rejection you used week be-
fore last, when l came from. Maine to
apply for the Collectorship Of kenne-
bunk. Try something e!se-some new
SARCASM"
The shorthand man consulted his notes
and corroborated the statement OF the
cousin.
"Well, them" said Mr.. Hayes, "cross
out what you have written and begin
again. My worthy cousin. l am graft
fed TO have met you. Mrs. Hayes often
speaks OF her great affection for your esti-
msble wife, and OF the delightful hsrmo-
nv which reigns in your domestic circle
THAT is good" interrupted the cousin,
.and it's new"
al cannot" continued Mr.. Hayes, at.
ter, thinking for u moment, Tin view OF
the esteem in which hold you and your
charming family, thrust upon you the
cares and anxieties of postoftice. can
not, Mr.. Mr.. Pe,tengill! Good morn
ing"
The shorthand writer gotup to 60.
"Manlfold the dialogue" said Mr.. Hayes,
"snd send it to all the papers"
"Am to come again, Mr.. President"
asked Mr.. Hayes cousin.
"You had better apply next week, y
said Mr. Hayes, "tor q postottice some
where in the Middle States, or else q
lighthouse on the Pacific coast. And
couldn't you manage to put little more
chsgrin in your face as you go outf The
ante-room is full of newspaper CORE
spondents. Try and look if you had been
badly snuobed. Perhaps even slight
manifestation OF temper would help along
civil service reform.