Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1877-10-03
The Art of Listening.

Persons who talk are ALWAYS in dancer
of TALKING too much. The better thev talk
the greater the danger. Nearly nil men
and women who have gained the repula-
ton of eminent conyersationnlists are lii
tie else than monolooists. and monolooue
is as deadly a foe to conversation as inrnr.
able stupidity. We Get tired, after a while,
of hearing the most eloquent speech if il
comes from one mouth, and we inwardly
prav for what has been aptIy called few
flashes of silence. How MANY brilliant
people there are in society whom all their
acouantances fear on account of their
oift of utterance! Everybody breads to
broacb a tonic. lest the spnrklino tnlker
should exhaust it and his hearers. and still
be talking on. The passion for speech. like
other passions, grows bv INDULGENCE, and
at certain stage of development becomes
so morbid as to require neither svmpothv
nor response.
1t is related of Macaulay that hnvjno
been introduced to, and driving a distance
of six miles with. II deaf and dumb man.
be pronounced him, some days after, to be
a gentleman of the soundest views on pol-
itics, with an admirable wav Of presenting
them. Madame De Stael, AS the story
GOES. was induced bv n salirist TO haranUue
IL stuffed figure one evening in dnrkened
room for nearly two fnll hours. the sntirist
having assured her that the f0ure WAS n
distinguished Bavarian who regarded her
" Germany" as the greatest work that had
appeared during the Empire. Questioned
subsequently us to her opinion, she declar-
ed that his merit was wholly beyond his
reputation, that his ideas were at once
original, profound, ard comprchensive and
that he expressed them with luminous
clearness and particular elegance.
These anecdotes, if not facts, are true TO
human nature, and illustrate the adyan.
tage of listening, or seeming TO listen. No
doubt Macaulay and De Stae so egotisi,
and dogmatic were they, so absorbed in
themselvos-would have been so enrap-
tured by the sound of their own voices rs
to imagine their monolopue conversation
and the persons who had never interruutrd
them as fascinating companions. If the
thing did not happen it might have han
pene1.
The art of listening is a delicate and diff
cult art, and one that is seldom practiced.
1t is delicate, because it demands, if not
sympathy, show of sympathy, and con-
tinuous attention as well as an mir of inter-
est. 1t is difficult because self-assertion is
natural, and u state of passiveness with
out manifestation of weariness is irksome
to maintain. On account of its delicacv
and difficulty, not less than from want Of
knowing how to manage it, it is the art
rare in society. The few listeners that un.
derstand listening are invariably liked,
even admired and not unfreouenlly charm
the takers to whom they give ear. The
nice listener is pretty sure to get a name
for intellect, culture, wit, readiness for anv
sort of quality, indeed. which he or she
does not reveal, and NAV not possess. The
person fond of talking usually endows the
person who listens with whatever nttri-
butes he thinks he has himself: and his
good opinion of the listener grows steadily.
until sometimes it amounts to positive
worship.
1t is not enonnh to listen merely in a
negative manner, for that appears like res.
ignation, like silent suffering, like uncom.
planning martyrdom. and, besides. NAV be
mistaken for stupidity. which is fatal ia
the listeners hope and object. One may
be rs stupid as an owl in society. but his
listeners must DISGUISE his stupiditv if thcv
would be accepted; and above ali. never
indicate or intimate to apy body else that
the speaker has any possibility of stupidi-
ty. We can be dulInass and COMMONPLACE
itself with impunitv, provided we seem to
think well of our acquaintances. We NAV
be INSIGNIFICANT, and vet bear repntatlon
for Individuality. cleyerness and charnc.
ter, so long AS we assume preiudices in fa-
vor of our neichbors. And by listeninu
patiently, earnestly and pleasantly to wboo
ever addresses rs. even when we find
nothing in the discourse that is new or en-.
tertaininr, we NAV be certain of securino
friends, since in so doing we silently com,
pliment others and repress whatever savors
of egotism.
Our listening must be an art, in order TO
be effective; for, unless we make it an ,rt,
We shall often be tempted to betray bore.
dom, and Weld to the temptation. We