The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1877-01-18
Jeremy Jinks and His System of Wife
Training.

were walking arm in arm in the charm
ing garden of the former. "A man as
rich as you are, and the owner of such a
splendid house, and such lovely garden,
needs only the addition Of a good wife to
complete the picture Of a little Eden
Found. instead Of Lost"
"Well, the truth is, John, / am com
piling a system Of WITHDRAWING. and il
is not quite finished yet You see have
had my eyes open, and l have observed
that even in the very best Of families
there were very grave defects in their
system of management So says ] to
myself, Now Jeremy Jinks, don't you 90
and sell yourself, as some of your com
panions have done. You Just improve
on their mistakes, and when you get
Mrs. Jeremy Jinks well trained, accord
ing to your system, you can consider
yourself the luckiest man among them.
Besides, / have not yet found the lady
who possesses the qualities desirable in
a wife. that is according to my ideal.
First, she must be Of very meek, an
gelic disposition, evincing no temper on
any occasion, not even when very much
injured.
Second, she must have implicit conf
dence in the wisdom Of the lords of ere
alton II they decide that the moon is
made of green cheese, she must believe
it as in duty bound.
Third, she must be very orderly, and
methodical in her way.
Fourth, she must be very neat and
tasteful in her dress, and yet not at all
extravagant, etc, etc.
As soon as my manuscript is completed
! shall set of for the country. and there,
in some rural retreat, entirely sheltered
from the contaminating influence Of the
world, ] hope to find the amiable crea-
ture who will correspond to my ideal.
Having found such one, / shall imme-
diately transfer her to my Eden Found,
as you are pleased to call il"
John gave an imperceptible shrug Of
the shoulders, but knowing his friends
eccentricities, he made no answer.
"Well, we shall see, said Mrs. Bell, as
John related the preceding conversation
to her that evening. "Old bachelors
wives, you know" and the brown curls
danced merrily from the toss Of the saucy
little head
"But what will his lordship give in ex-
change for all this perfection he expects
to find p questioned she suddenly, as if a
new idea had struck her.
"Oh that splendid mansion and gar
den. Isn't that enough p
Now, John, you are an old tease. Do
you suppose that this fine house and all
your money with it, would be any thing
to me if you e.>acted entire perfection of
me? If you do not love me in spite of
my faults land know | have plenty"
And the tears actually came into the
little woman's eyes.
Johns answer was, as might have been
vrraf "a
smiled through her tears, as he left the
room, and said TO herself, There isn't
better man in the world than John"
In course of time the system" was fin
ished and true to his text, Jeremy hied
him to the most rural retreat" he could
hear of. There he found to all outward
appearance, his exact ideal.
The mansion at home was remodeled
and refurnished, the family damask,
some of it two or three generations old,
and fine almost like satin, brought out
and re-whitened, the costly family glass
and china unpacked, washed and arrang-
ed in commodious closets-in short,
everything about the house and garden
was made as perfect as possible for the
reception of this paragon Of perfection.
In a few days she was introduced to
as a child with everything she saw and
expressed her wonder that any man
could ever have thought to have house
arranged so perfectly charming. Jeremy
was in the seventh heaven. But,
thought he to himself, 81 must begin
with my System OF Training tomorrow.
All depends upon beginning life right
Women are just like children. You be-
gin giving a child a light to go to sleep
byeand it will always cry for that light
You know better than that Jeremy
Jinks" So, with a wise little nod to
himself, he gave his new wife polite in
vitation to visit the garden. She was as
much delighted with the garden as with
the house, and Jeremy thought his para
disc was complete, and that his wife had
been rightly christened Stella
The next morning after breakfast. our
calls Stella to sit by him,
while he reads the system" aloud to
her, adding that he expects her to obey
the rules implicitly.
The young wife sat there in her grace
ful white morning wrapper, finished at
the throat by a dainty crimped ruff
which was closed in front by a half blown
rose, plucked from a vine at the window
Her wavy blonde hair was wound around
her head, looking like a crown. while
her blue eyes were fixed on one spot in
the carpet She uttered never a word
while her husband read on for nearly a
quarter of an hour, when, evidently |
that silence implied consent,
he looked up from his manuscript and
IL expect you to pay especial attention
to the rules relating to servants, to your
=. s.sfY.
kL to time
/ am very particular about time You
will therefore rise at five, and see that
the servants prepare breakfast properly
At halfpast five you can call M.
Then see that the table is properly laid,
and the linen faultless. II there Is any
thing particularly disagreeable to me- il
is soiled or crumpled table linen. See
also that the china is tastefully arranged,
and especially (servants are so careless
about that be careful there are no
crumbs on the carper, or a spark Of dust
anywhere.
At six precisely, breakfast must be
ready.
At seven, see that the table is cleared,
dishes washed, floor swept, cookstoye
polished, and all the rooms aired and
made tidy.
At nine, darn stockings, mend house.
hold linen, etc. The mistress should al
ways attend to that.
At ten, 90 yourself, to market, and or
der what you think is necessary. Be
careful TO see that il is in good order aud
preservation Do not allow the grocers
and butchers 10 cheat you.
At one precisely, not one minute soon
er or later, dinner must be ready.
AT two o'clock"
Il shall do no.such thing burst forth
Mrs Jinks, unable longer to control her
indignation.
Had the earth opened at his feet, Jer
rr,rr trnl1ll hnrr En.r, NJ. r,,n,.- -lrrLI.I