The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1877-11-17
HUMOROUS.

-" l shouldn't care much about the
bugs" said thin, pale lodger to his
landady, " but the fact is, ma'am, /
amt got the blood to spare"
"A preacher who arrived at kirk
wet through, asked an old Scotch wo
man what he should do, to which she
replied, Gang into the pulpit as sune
as ye can. Ye'll be dry enough there"
Works of art and science are thrown
away on some people. At Washington
they have the finest telescope in the
world and yet there are some women
living who would prefer to look through
a key-hole.
"A Canadian priest lately sued a
young man whom he had married, for
his wedding fee, which he stated at $l5.
The jury found for the defendant on
the ground that the youth had received
no appreciable value.
-" will not learn trade - ex-
claimed the young Chicago blood to his
father. But this business of learning
trade is only matter of time, for
within year that young man was
studying harness. making in the State
Prison.
"A lady in general conversation, by
ingeniously cooking her dates, was res
ducing her age to an astonishing limit.
Her daughter, whose partly French
blood had brough her keen wit. inter-
posed with the remonstrance, "At least,
leave nine months between our ages,
mamma -
The sea otter is so deeply imbued
with the fear of man that all attempts
to keep it alive after its capture have
failed, as it perishes by self.imposed
starvation, all through its unconquer.
able fear of man. Oh, woman, woman,
how deeply and strongly you do not re
mind us the sea otter
On returning home recently, q gen.
tleman was surprised to receive the con.
gratulations of his family on his happy
escape from drowning. He thought
somebody had been playing joke on
him, and laughed heartily until he found
that his best suit of clothes had been
given to the man who brought the news,
and who said he was sent for some dry
clothes.
"A little girl of six or seven sum.
mers, stopping with her parents at one
OF the fashionable hotels at Saratoga
Springs, was invited at dinner to take
some wine as it was passed around.
She declined. Why do you not take
wine with your dinner, Minnie %
'Tause doesn't like it, But take
little, then, my child. for your stom-
ach's sake," he urged. 81 amt dot no
tommiek's ache," Indignantly replied
the little miss in the most emphatic
manner.
The Bishop Of Hereford, in Eng.
land was examining school class, and,
among other things, asked what an av.
erage was. Several boys pleaded ignor-
ance, but one at last replied 1t is
what a hen lays on" This answer puz-
zled the Bishop not a little, but the boy
persisted in it, and stated that he had
read it in his little book of facts. lie
was then told to bring the little book,
and, on doing so, he pointed trium-
phantly to paragraph commencing
- domestic hen lays on an average
fifty eggs each year."
When Mr.. Hill was, some years
ago, in Scotland, he was introduced to
an aged minister somewhat resembling
himself in piety and eccentricity. The
old man looked at him for some time
very earnestly, and at length said
" Weel, / ha' been looking for some
time at the leens of your face" /" And
what do you think of it ?" said Mr
Hill. Why, 1 am thinking that il
the grace of God hadna' changed your
heart you would ha' been most tire.
Dendous rogue" Mr.. Hill laughed
heartily, and said : "Well, you hit the
nail on the head"