The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1877-03-09
The School Boys Apples.

A South Hill school-ma'am, the other
board, detected an urchin directly behind
her in the unlawful act Of devouring an
apple. She said to him, "Iim, what are
you doing2" "Nothin," said Tim, with
his mouth SO full that his cheeks stuck
out on either side of his head like an al
derman's stomach. Eyes, you are,"
paradoxically insisted the teacher. "What
have you in your hand2" "Napple,"
said Tim, with some surprise, as he
looked at the fragment of the apple in
his hand and wondered who had bit it
while he was studying. "What has be-
come of the rest Of itl" Dunno" said
Tim, looking around in an amazed effort
to discover who had the rest of it;
somebody's been eaten it." "Have you
any more2" demanded the teacher.
"Yes'm," said Tim dolefully, "got
mother" "Where is it" relentlessly
sighed Tim, as he began to suspect that
the teacher was going to demand it of
him. "Well, take it out and 60 and stand
on the platform and eat it." Eat 'em
both2" queried Tim. eyes, eat them
BOTH" Eat all got2" demanded Tim
in a subdued tone of countenance.
Eyes, eat all you have" impatiently re-
sponded the teacher, and turning to the
board, continued, land don't you leave
that platform while you have any apple
left uneaten." Silence reigned in the
school-room. The paper pellet pursued
its tranquil transit unobserved and the
busy hum of the students made more
noise than the cautious smile of the in
dolent. Tim stood at his post. Munich,
MUNICH, MUNICH. Tho fragment in his
hand soon disappeared, and he fell upon
the other apple silently but determinedly.
Quickly it follows the first. Then he put
his right hand into his pantaloons pocket
and took out an apple, and after eau
tious reconnoitre, during which he wiped
it on his trowsers, he began the attack.
He carried the fort. Down went that
hand again, and another apple was
brought to light. 1t was quickly dis
patched. A third followed. Then he
changed his position, and, resting the
weight of his body on his left leg, sighed
rs he drew from his left breeches pocket
another apple.
When it was gone he drew on the COM
missary for another, and by the time he
produced the eighth apple he was silently
being observed by two-thirds of the boys
in the room. The teacher turned and
saw the boy still standing in the attitude
of one who was reaching for something in
his coat pocket. "Arn't you through yeti"
she queried in some establishment. "Got
MOTHER" stoically responded Tim, pro-
n Tall t.N In
surprise the teacher saw him reach for
still another, and when that was gone,
surprise grew to amazement as his I'M
wavering hand again sought the mouth Of
that gaping pocket. AS the boy ate he
grew in dimensions, and the teacher be-
came alarmed. There seemed to be no
end to the apples that he had In his
clothes. Tim, for mercys sake, have
you any more applesi" "Got MOTHER"
said Tim indifferently. "How many more
apples have you2" "Dunno," said Tim,
"guess got two or three more" The
teacher did not dare to let him proceed,
and appointed herself an investigating
committee to look after the back coun-
ties. The boy never changed a muscle
of his countenance nor moved an inch
while the teacher pulled apple after apple
from his coat and stacked them upon the
desk, until there was something less than
peck piled up, with Dade county TO hear
from. The school-room was q scene of
hilarity, which wasn't SO much subdued
as it has been. Tim had laid in apples
for the winter, and the pockets of his
coat having no bottom, the coat was thus
an immense bag, which would hold as
many apples as he could carry. The
matter hasn't been laid before the school,
board yet, but the exhausted school ma'am
declares that the next time she will learn
how much of crop Of apples boy has
about him before she issues any orders.
Burlinoton Hdpkeue