The Republican journal., 1877-04-26
Observations Of Men and Things.
BY OUR GEORGE.

we'll Dlcu dS cllQucltt 10 pouteHeSS
with gilt edge. Etiquette is the clothes, polite
ness is tho one inside the clothes. Politeness is
something that is born in u.s. like the stomach
ache, and etiquette is educated politeness Pc
likeness never changes. 1t was politeness that
made Adam assist Eve over the fence when they
left the garden Of Eden, and it would be polite to
do the same thing now; but etiquette is as liable
to be changed dollar bill Etiquette is the
fashionable way of being polite, and like other
fashions changes with the seasons We are all
subject to the laws of etiquette more or less and
we cannot help oboying them to a certain extent,
any more than we can help wondering if the Gre
ator ever thought that mans shoulder blades
would itch when he made his arms about an inch
too short to reach the place.
There is an etiquette in writing, talking, and in
every phase of life 1t is breach of etiquette in
conyersing to sandwich into your conversation
sentences in different language. making your
talk seem like patch work quilt. OF the six Ian
guages that | speak, no one ever hears me talk
anything but English, and very poor English nj
that
The book of etiquette tells us that when We dine
out should not fold our napkin but leave it on
tho table beside the plate and tell you that it is
also etiquette to leave the silver folks and spoons
on the table Many a man, by neglecting to re-
| member this, is now learning some useful trade at
the expense of the State.
Etiquette tells great many useful things
and book Of etiquette is ono of the most amusing
| works that one add to library. Sometimes
she deals in matters little too deep for her as
for instance, when she undertakes to let the Wis
dom out OF the subject of counting She says that
the gentleman must call on the Young lady and
seat himself on the opposite side of the room, and
talk loud that the family in the next house can
hear all he says; and she tells Us how many gas
jets should be lighted and on this point etiquette
and great many ladies, married and single seem
to agree
If ever Il lady me for breach of promise, or
promise of breeches, it is my opinion that the item
of gas i'll her roll of account, will be small Eli
quctte tells lis that when tho dreadful moment ar
rlyes that the young man is to pop the question,
that he should cross the room, and throw himself
on one or both knees-this depends good deal on
the faith he has Ill the stitching of his pants
while i'll that position he shall take ont his heart
and lay it at the ladys feet taking ~ do it up
in his handkerchief so that it will not soil the car
pet, If there is one lady in this broad land who
knows of such case personally would like to
have her address me. enclosing stamp and photo
graph This may be according to etiquette but
common sense and human nature don't tell a man
any such nonsense.
| don't propose to tell how human nature does
prompt Il man to act unless am well paid for it
l
to start out this delicate errand with it all pre-
medtated for don't know and wouldn't for thir
ty six dollars but will say to the young man that
when he makes calls his lady if the gas is not
lighted not to light it. There is nothing 50 inju-
rous to the eyes bright light and besides, the
sulphur end OF Il match will scent a room badly.
If in the darkness the girl BY accident sits down in
your lap, don't say II word, as it might embarrass
hor, and perhaps if yon don't tell her she will not
find it out Talk low-whisper, nothing makes
girl frightened to talk loud i'll the dark. If in
trying to find her ear to whisper something to her
you by mistake put your lips to her mouth don't
let that make any difference, mistakes will happen
to the best of US. History tells us that George
Washington once put his pants on wrong side be.
fore when he was going to il fire, and yet no one
thinks any tho less of George. Whisper what you
have to say right III her mouth She can hear just
as we'll If you doubt this put watch in Your
mouth, close your teeth on it, shut both ears and
you can hear it tick just well though you put
it to your ear,
| knew man who was 50 deaf that when his
family wanted to tell him anything they wrote it
piece Of paper and loaded it into Il gun, and
fired it into him They afterwards found that he
could hear through his mouth, and now they write
what they wish to communicate and he chews it
down, and he tells me that he can hear every word
distinctly.
II the rising generation get any information out
of these bits of wsdomth that have dropped shall
be glad Whom | think Of all the things know,
it sometimes is Il wonder to me that don't burst
if should, | should disseminate more knowledge
than an academy. Proposals are good deal like
salvation, every man wants 10 work out his OWL
and do it his own way, and he is not always sur,
of being saved then.
A gentleman is always polite, but polite man
is not always gentleman When boy gets old
enough to wear two paper collars week and at
tend balls and parties one Of the best rules ot Ell
W b - III SccillS SlIlS
home, great many young men seem to imagine
that seeing girl home means standing in the door
and seeing her go home, instead Of going home
with her Escortng the ladies home from party
is not only etiquette and politeness but it is due
to the ladies, and is moreover fun. After accept
ing an invitation to Il lady's house enjoying her
hospitality and splitting her stews on the carpet
and her creams on her dress, and dancing with her
company and having a good time the least return
that can be made to her is to see that her lady
guests have an escort home If you invite two la
dies, get two that are going the same way, moth
ing is more embarrassing than to have to tear your
self apart and send half of you one way. while tho
half goes the other Don't station yourself at the
foot Of the stairs, like bronze statue on IA black
walnut hat tree, and see the ladies pass out alone
while YOU stand hat in hand, like bearer at a flu
neral. There is need of opening the door to let
such person 20 out he is small enough to 60
out through the key hole 1t is as good as seeing
Booth in Macbeth to hear the ladies' rave about
such Young men, and | always feel like making
them IL valuable present when l listen to their
righteous anger
Nothing but bashfulneSs can excuse man from
this act Of poteness. Bashtulness is Il sort Of
moral Group. \ filling up and choking sensation.
The blood all PUSHES up to get chance to look out
of your eyes to see what is going on, and il seems
us if it forced up by n steam fire engine. The
pcrspiraton trickes from every pore, and the bulb
of thermometer, placed betweeen the shoulders,
would run the mercury up to no. Imagine man
suffering like this having moral courage enough to
step out of Il crowd OF gentlemen knowing that
the eyes of them all are upon him, and ask a girl
if he shall see her home. And then hire two or
three persons to help you imagine his feelings for
you can't do it alone if the girl declines his offer
| know all about thus. was bashtul once myself
and most every young man has passed through
this period. always used to stand at the head OF
the stairs when asked girl if | might go home
with her so that if she said no could hurl myself
over the rail- and dash myself in pieces on the
people below. There is hardly a house in this city
but what You will find traces Of me on the entry