The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-03-31
Small Talk.

"A Massachusetts man named Cork
screw has named his baby Gimlct.
Pride aud weakness are Siomesc
twins, knit together by the indissoluble
hyphen.
Don't neglect your penmanship. A
man in New York got s64, 900 from Il
banker for being good writer. Il Is
not yet known how many years he will
get.
\ scientist devoted about half n col
umn to explain GLOW to burn Coal ,,
Almost anybody who had been at house
Keeping could have told him that it was
the wrong side of the question to dis
cuss.
\ young lady sent poem to a Brit
ish newspaper entitled, al cannot make
him SMILE The editor ventured TO ex-
press an opinion that She would have
succeeded had she shown him the poem.
And it was for this" patriotic
wife explained to her husband, a
most enthusiastic Democrat, "it was
for this that you came home every night
Tor six weeks with cloves in your breath
ana Kerosene on your coat? Fauoh-h.r
lie was sitting silently by her side
one chilly evening last autumn. think
ing of something to say. Finally he rc-
marked: How sad it is the frost has
come, and will kill everything green.
Thereupon the young lady extended
her hand and said in sympathetic tone
Good bye
Two French ladies were conversiuy
on the qualities and dement's of their
own fair sex. Said one, with twinkle
In her beautiful blue eyes, az have ncy-
er known but two women who were
really perfect" "Who wa, the othcr?'
asked her companion, with a smile on
her fine, thin lip.
Are you favorably impressed with
this blue-glass theory, Mr.. Wamsutta 2"
a Burlington man asked his neighbor 3
they met by chance, at the place where
they give away a real chrome of a grain
OF coffee with every purchase. "Ohmo,
oh no, amt particular what kind of q
glass, was the reply; '.just SOS YOU
rub bii OF lemon around the edge first
don't make any difference to mo what
kind ofa glass
AT station OIL the overland route the
keeper got rather short of provisions
in fact had nothing but bottle of mus
tard and some bacon. As the stage
stopped there one day to change horses,
The passengers seated themselves at the
table. and the host said: shall help
you 10 piece of bacon." "No. thank
you; never eat bacon" said the tray
eler. well, them" said the station
Keeper, 'hrlp yourself to some mus
tard."
Several sundays ago. IL collection was
about TO be taken up in the church, and.
in the absence of one of the collectors.
a frisky young man volunteered his SER
vices, and handled his hat with great in
dustry and success. When he got near
the door, he was about TO go out with
his hat full of money on his head, when
the minister said, solemnly. "Young
man, if you leave here with that money
you'll be damned" The Young man.
however, left in hurry, and, as he
shut the door behind him, worthy old
bachelor, with voice in + sharp. who
.,"d put !" dollar in the hat, piped up to
the minister: "Well, If he amt gone
with it, fH be d--d.'
The plantation negroes were engaged
IN pitching coppcrs. II was discovered
that after while several coppers were
missing though no one had been detec-
tea IN picking up any but his own PEN
mes. me, one old negro, whose coppcrs
had mysteiiously disappeared, at length
becoming satisfied in his mind that
there was foul play going on, and obser-
wing that one ofthc barefooted party had
a peculiar way every now and then of
Jerking his foot up TO his hand, called
pause III the game, saying: ''De gem
man VIII de tar on his heel will please to
withdraw The suspected individual
retiring on this polite invitation, the
game went on without the mysterious
disappearance Of any more coppers.