The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1877-07-12
All Sorts OF Paragraphs.

= A son of the Green Isie refused To
believe in "cheap papers" because he did
not think they could afford 10 speak the
truth for the money"
= A butcher sold sailor a ham on
credit, but, finding in few days he had
gone to sea, he growlcd, off I'd known
he wasn't going to paw for it, I'd !.
charged him three pence more II pound
for it, the rascal! !" ,
Mamma, if we cross tho bridge ut
night, must we pay toll 2" "Of course,
my dear; why do you ask ?" "Why, be-
cause the river will have gone homo to
Sleep" "Oh, the river never sleeps"
"Then why figs it n Jed, mammal"
Go away; you're too heavy to hold
on my knee" said cross young man to
his sweetheart's little brother. "Mc too
heavy" exclaimed the child "why, /
amt SO heavy rs Eliza, and you hold her
on your knee easy enough p Eliza also
then told him to go away.
"Mnmma," a-'-ed q little white
haiier,. lis our on en- going to be sent
away for the summer?" 81 guess not,
my son." she replied; "but why do you
ask such q question:" Because heard
pa tell our new hired girl that they would
have such sweet time when he sent his
old hen away for the summer White
hall Times.
: There is a precious six-year old boy
in Auburn, Maine, who is wonderful
speller and definer. The other day his
teacher asked him to spell matrimony :
"M-a-t-r-i-m-o.n-y," said the youngster,
promptly. Now, define it." said the
teacher. "Well," replied the boy, Il
don't exactly know what it means, but I
know mothers got enough of it."
= Losing, the German author, was, in
his old age, subject to extraordinary fite
of abstraction. On his return home, one
evening, after he had knocked at his
door, the servant looked out Of the win
dow to see who was there. Not recogni.
zing his master in the dark, and mistak-
ing him for stranger, ne called out
"The professor is not at home" ooh,
very WE'LL" replied Lessing; "no matte:
-Pll call another time %
= A prospective fatheT-ib-law makes
inquiries concerning his prospective SON.
in-iaw of friend. The replies are Of the
most satisfactory character till the friend
says frankly: "Still, l must admit. that
he has one gravrGufTeUt." "What is that I
Does he play the accordenn?" "He does
not know anything about gambling.''
w NY mat Is not o defect it is virtue
Yes, but you see--he gambles oil the
same"
a Scotch minister was once busy
catechising his young parishoners before
the congregation, when he put che usual
first question TO stout girl whose father
kept public house: "What is your
namef" No reply. The question hav.
! ing been reOeated. the nlrl renIied
"Nane o. yer fun, Mr. Minister; ye ker
may na6lo we'll encuch. Dye no gay
when ye come to our house on night
BE. Bet, i;r:;; bring; s1io 5onio aio Tine conGre
CATION, forgetting tho sacredneSs of the
place, were in broad grin, and the par.
son looked daggers.
The butcher drove past last Monday
Moody ran out. "Beefsteak ?'' eyes,
"Whon killed ?" said the evangelist, an.
proaching tho cart. Yesterday" al
don't vast any meat killed on Sunday p
Butcher drives on, soliloquizinRs sotto voce
Returns Thursday, passing the Moody
residence, full drive. Moody halls him
again. "Beefsteak 2" "Yes.n 1Brino
in ten pounds eve don't take money
earned on Sunday |" and butcher drives
on. Appears MONDAY morning again
Moody On the Satch. ''BeeIsteak ~
"Yes." Lays in large stock no aues.
tions nsked. '
- 4 neighborhood on North Hill was
disturbed all one night recently by dread.
full, awful noises coming from a haunted
house, sad the appalled family ia .he
house itself never slopt wink, but sal
up with pallid faces ard beating hearss.