The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-01-25

opium eatlng, the mOrpnla disease Qe.
grades the moral character.-LOnd0n Ian
Get.
MISCELL aNEOUS ITEMS.
Where ignorance is bliss, wisdom ID
blister.
There is no law against calling It
"crowncr's quest
"A half-starvcd lawyer is less to be
enyied than a wcll-fcd farmer.
Prof. Swing says that Common Sense
is the best guardian angel any young man
can have around.
- don't mind going so MUCH" said
tho Old Year, "but it's kind o. hard to
leave without knowing who's President"
The grave of the inventor of the ac
cortlcon is unmarked by stone. II ought
to hHv" m epitnnh, clark, from the tomb
doleful sound"
Correspondents can 20 with the
Russian army when it marches, but the
Cars instructions are: ''Stick to the
truth or go to Siberia
The New York Evening Post is hyper.
critical. 1t attacks the signal service
which fOrctOld a snow, because the an
| nOuncement was not made that the snow
would he heavy one.
! Elk Surgeon Gen. Francis, of the
British army in India, writes, warmly, in
| favor of cold tea as superior to any alco-
hOlic or malt beverage when sustained
physical vigor is requisite.
Two Bostonians forgot to have the
snow removed from their sidewalks, and
they were arrested and fined so quick that
they thought the wheels of justice run by
elcctricity.-Cincinnati Commercial.
| What curious study is the face of
man when he comes home some evening,
when the thermometer is trying to tunnel
under the house, and his wife tells him
the cistern is frozen up tight as mort.
gage.
| "A ChOuteau avenue young lady says
her hearts idol, who has done all but ask
the all-important question, reminds her of
"Old Probabilities" He hints and hints,
but doesn't commit himself.-St Louis
Republican.
"A correspondent praised the Ashtabu-
la bridge as having been =" a wide, spa
cious, generous style of BRIDGE" and the
| New York Commercial Adcsrtiser is led to
imagine that maybe =" its generous char.
acter was what made it so apt to give
way"
When the great Michael Angelo.
painter and glazier, wanted study for
unconscious innocence, he used to go
was suddenly awakened from sound slum-
Der by an unusually vigorous sentence
from the pulpit.
Tho Baltimore Gazette wisely re-
marks: "Many men would prefer to go
on an uncertain mission il the vain
hope of discovering gold mine and
speedy fortune, than coming down to
hard work in large city, with the GER
tainty of obtaining fair living remuner.
alton"
He who cries "Fire!" in a theater
should be (as the trespass-sig On says)
"punished with the utmost rigor of the
law" The panics in the Washington and
Newark theaters show how ready an audi
ence are to trample each other under feet
at the slightest alarm.--N. Y. Commercial
Adoertiser.
The use of scientific terms often be-
comes a sort of second nature with some
professional men. A savant who incau.
tiously struck the back of his head against
the sidewalk the other day, piteously ex.
claimed: "Oh, my poor n,eduliG 0btongG.
ta." The crowd thought he alluded TO his
wife, and that she must be some Italian
lady of rank.-Brooklyn Argus.
Overhaul your accounts; find out just
how you stand; prepare to begin the new
year with a clear comprehension of the
situation. But don't make promises, for
pie-crust is brittle. Go ahead, honestly
and squarcly; do your best; make what
you can in fair way; spend less money;
look out for rainy day; don't pretend to
be better than you are. N. B.-No charge
for this advice.-N. Y. Mail.
The Virginia Chronicle INDUCES in
narratives of Nevada life. One of the
latest concerns a dog who had wonder
full scent. His master was proudly boast
ing how far the animal could track him,
and concluded his yarn with tie triumph.
ant query: "Wha. dye think about
that." "Do you want to know what I
think about it" said one of the by
ISLANDERS. swell, think you'd better 50
and take bath.
How often has nearly every young
man had it demonstrated to his perfect
satisfaction that there is nothing less sue.
ccssful in all the range of action amongs,
gods and men than an effort to creep up.
stairs late ut night without being heard
by the old folks. You may keep close ia
the wall, step as light rs bird, or try ia
pull yourself up by the hands, but all in
vain, for if you don't weigh rs much as q
flea, the moment you get your foot on q
step it will crunch and groan and crack as
though an elephant were climbing the
boards, while the old gentleman will call
from his room: Hi-yi, there, who's
therc-b laundering around and keeping
people awake? I'll take caro- of your
case in the morning" There is no use
boys. You've either got to stay out oil
night or else crawl in by way of the trek
under the back window, and run the risk
of breaking your nccks. Chicago Journal
The COW has ut least four tones o,
lows. First there is her alarmed or dis
trcssed low, when deprived of her calf Of
separated from her mates-her low of at
lection. Then there is her call Of hunger
petition for food, sometimes full of i'm
patience, or her answer to the farmers
call, full of eagerness. Then there Is tina
J peculiar frenzied bawl she utters on smell
Ing blood, which causes every member o.
the herd to lift its head and hasten to th,
spot-the native cry Of the clan. Wher
she is gored or in great danger she bawl'
also, but that is different. And lastly
! there is the long, sonorous volley she let
j, of on the hills or in the yard, or along tn,
J highway, and which seems to be express
i've of kind of unrest and vague lOngin,
!. the longing Of the imprisoned 10 fo
her lost identity. She sends her voics
forth so that every god ON Mount Olym
pus can hear her plant. She makes thi
sound in the morning, especially in tn