The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1877-06-02


Te aid him in breaking off the habit of
tobacco chewing. an Onondago County
man mad all his teeth extracted.
To worship is to woman always
sweeter thar to be worshiped. To wor-
ship one must look up; to be worshiped,
one must look down.
WE should always be very careful on
whom we confer bereSts; for If we be-
stow them on the base-minded, it is like
throwing water into the sea.
AN old bachelor seeing the word
"families supplied" over the door of
shep, stepped in and said he would take
wife and two children,
"Ho, all ye dyspepticsl' says patent
medicine advertisement. If all the
dyspeptics would hoe regularly their
number would be reduced.
DANBURY Nesos: Professor Proctor
says the earth is growing larger. We
are glad to hear 1t, for real estate has
shrunk fearfully in the past three years.
AN Irish guide told DR.. James john
son, who wished for reason why echo
was always in the feminine gender, that
"may be it was because she always had
the last word"
CHARLES KINGSLEY said he did not
see why we should not be as just to an
ant as to human being. Human beings
don't get up your trousers leg when you
are at picnic and scare you within two
eet of eternity.
The following epitaph appears on a
tombstone in Connecticut: Here lies
the body of Jonathan Richardson, who
never sacrificed his reason at the altar of
supersition's god, and who never believed
that Jonah swallowed whale"
LA CROSSE Sun: If the girl that bor-
rowed our ulster overcoat to be Queen
of May in, and our buffalo overshoes.
will return the same, nothing will be
said about the red flannel bandage she
wore around her neck.
THE best way to keep out wicked
thoughts is always to be employed in
some good ones. Let your thoughts be
where your happiness is, and let your
hearts be where your thoughts are;
so, though your habitation is on earth,
your con gersation will be in heaven.
DANBURY News There is q peculiarly
subtitle influence to peanuts. Even the
man who is sure he doesn't like them
will reach after them as long as there are
any in range, and will even look around
in some anxiety, after the last one is
consumed, to see if there is not another
left.
A BLAcKwELL's ISLAND prisoner es-
capped in this way: He took lager beer
keg, knocked out one of the headings,
and bored air holes in the other. Then
he stuck his own head into the keg and
jumped into the water. Those who saw
the keg in the water had no idea that
there was a man under it.
A JoNEsaoRo, Pa, paper is responsi-
BILE for the statement that, q few Gays
ago, while the sun was shining brightly
and the sky was clear, lump Of snow
weighing one hundred and Fifty pounds
suddenly fell to the earth and remained
unmelted for several days, during which
time it was visited by curious crowds.
In the absence of any political excite
ment the New Hampshire newspapers
are engaged in trying to discover the
person who has the largest hand in the
State. At present the distinction rests
with the citizen Of an interior town, who
has performed the interesting feat OF
holding twenty-eight eggs in the palm Of
his open hand.
In the light of recent event the Bos-
Traveller says: Better give the baby
rattle. He can get lots Of fun out Of q
revolver, but it is apt to 80 of, and hurt
somebody. When you see the baby in
the backyard with revolver, and 2 re-
porter looking over the fence and
whistling, E / hear an angel calling" it is
as we'll to 60 out and take the weapon
away from the child.