The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-05-25
ssOnly a joke"
A BIT Of GOOD ADVICE FOR YOUNG HUs-
BANDS.

BANDS.
"a difference of tastes in Jokes Is a great strain
on the aiItctions."-- Gcorge Elliot
al was always fond of Joke said
uncle Moses Fuller TO the friends who
had assembled to commemorate the
golden wedding of his good wife, Aunt
Patty, and himself. "But good Jokes
have their proper times and places, and
that reminds me of q little story that |
will relate to you, young people, while
mother is in the other room taking down
the old china.
"Some of you are married now, and
some of you are likely to be at no dis
day-if there is any truth in signs or
hearsay-and none of you will object to
receiving a mild lesson from an old
man.
~ was always fond of a 'ioke,' as
was saying, but never .joked' my wife
but once. That was after we had been
married about week, and had got NICE
ly to housekeeping. The old minister
who had married us, and who had
known lis all our lives, and his wife,
came TO make us II call, and Patty urged
them TO stay TO tea. They accepted the
invitation so cordially given. with evil
dent pleasure.
LAS they were our first. visitors, Pat
ty wanted to put her best foot forward,
Of course; so she made hot biscuit for
supper. | remember it as if It were
only yesterday, how pretty she looked
in her blue homemade gown, and clean,
freshly starched checked apron, as she
was stepping around in her shy, quiet,
womanly way, making the biscuit, look
ing at and turning them in the baker
before the open fire place, setting the
table and pleasantly talking with her
guests at the same fine; for we had no
parlor then.
81 felt quite proud of her, assure
you, when we drew our chairs around
the neatly spread and bountifully sup
piled table, and just at that moment
thought more, fear, of Parson and Mrs.
Bancroft's opinion of Patty's cooking
and housekeeping than / did of the
grace he was SAYING. Both of our guest
praised the light, short, properly brown
ed biscuit, and Patty's girlish face
flushed with genuine pleasure as she
shyly glanced up at my face for her hus-
bands approval.
"But did not speak, and presently
ric HShcu tiliiuiy HOpc you llkc
them, Moses, for they are the first bis
cult have made since-since-' 'Since
you became Mrs. Fuller said the par
sons wife, CONSIDERABLY helping her
out of her speech.
".Oh, yes l replied fippantly, think
ing il would not do to praise my wife
before company, and not relishing the
possibility of losing the opportunity to
get off one of my Jokes like them
to be sure; but should hate to have
anybody throw one of them at my head,
for the consequences might be serious.'
Patty's countenancc changed as if she
had received blow; and wife-likc she
tried TO throw off her ill-concealed NOR
tification at my thoughtless speech. AL
though | could find no fault with the
way she performed her duties as host
ess, | noticed she ate very little supper.
"Mr. and Mrs. Bancroft started for
their home just before dark ,and as was
tucking them up in their comfortable
old cluise thought what a happy, con-
tented old couple they were. When
handed the parson the reins, after every
thing was ready, and they had biddcn
Patty goodnight and she had gone
back through the gate into the yard, he
leaned down toward me, and, putting
his hand on my shoulder, said: my
son, bear in mind that pure. FURNISHED
gold even may be scratched and dcfaccd
by rough usage
IL felt like brute all the time was
getting the cows and milking and doing
the chores. When | carried into the
kitchen the brimming pals of milk,
Patty was washing and polishing and
putting away that very china she Is now
taking down, and could see in the
gathering twilight that she had been
crying. kissed her impulsively with
my heart in my throat, and catching the
empty milk pail started for the well. l
didn't make any promises to anybody
but myself.
"The moon was shining high in the
heavens, and as ran down the bucket,
1 saw it reflected In the clear water at
the bottom of the round, deep well. l
felt that IL might be Pattys love going
down, down, far beyond my reach,
slipping away from me forever. AS
drew up the brimming, messy bucket,
the brilliant harvest moon was reflect
ed upon that, for, in the broken flashes
of light, shining up curiously from the
dark depths of the well, | hurriedly
drew up the smooth pole, feeling that l
was regaining what had come near
losing.
81 set the overlooking bucket down
upon the soft green grass, and lei il be
until the perturbed water became still
and smooth like mirror. Then look
ing into il saw the moon peaceful and
calm once more. | emptied the bucket
into my pail, and as l did so, | said
aloud: Il will never joke Patty again.
She Is gentle, and sweet, and sensitive
far too good for rough fellow like me.
| Will never grievc her tender. loving
heart by my peculiar kind of joking
again
"And have kept my word. We
were married ilfly wears ago TODAY and
although have had my jokes with 9TH
er pcople-jokes that they say are rath-
er cutting, though Uncle Moses don't
mean anything-I have never joked nv
wife. She has proved TO be ilnalloyed
gold, and thanks TO the good old par
sons advice, ii has not been defaced or
the lustre dimmcd by rough usage. Il
have never happened 10 see the moon
reflect in the old well without the men,
ory of those suprcmely unhappy mo-
ments coming back to me. Life'is short
at the best, young people, and You can
not be too careful about woumling the
sensibiliIies of those who are the near
est and dearest to you."
AN UNFORTUNATE wIsE MANA
gentleman made application for a school
in Maine, and presented himself TO the
board for examination rs TO his qualifi-
cations. Arithmetical questions were
proposed. The teacher stumbled and
halted, bu. finally made out to cipher
out the answer. Said the committee
man:
"Can you locate Boston,"
He answered:
II know all about il, probably just as