The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1877-02-17
Mr.. Middlerib's Mistake.

Day before yesterday. Master Middle
rib, with boys long foresight, got tired
OF his sled and began to think OF the
long summer days that were coming,
when he would go fishing. And think
ing OF these things, he got out his fishing
pole and examined it, and, after fooling
around it for a while, he leaned 1t up
against the wood.shed, and ran out in
the street to chase after runaway sleigh,
and never thought of it again. After
supper Mr.. Middlerib went out to lock
up the d.shed, remarkinR that it was
a singing night. and he wouldn't blame
any man for keeping warm II he could
find a wood-shed open. In few mo.
ments the family, gathered around the
fire in the cozy sitting room, heard Mr..
Middlerib struggling into the kitchen
door. evidently in state OF great e.
element.
by George, boys" they heard him
say, in tones of suppressed agitation,
''it beats anything ever saw"
Aud then there war great rafting and
scuffling of feet.
"By dadr" said Mr.. Middlerib, "this
beats my time; this just walks away with
any OF the old settlers stories, this does. "
And then there was more rafting and
scufaing, and the kitchen door was kicked
back by very excited foot.
swell, SIR" they heard Mr.. Middlerib
say, II never would have believed 1t; by
George wouldn't. It beats the snakes.
Inever--"
"What is IT." inquired Mrs. Middle.
rib.
"What is it?" echosd her husband.
''you may say what is 1t. Bring light,
quick. Most wonderful thing I ever
heard of. Clothes-line's frozen so stiff
that when ran against it broke piece
sixteen feet long righs ont OF it, square a.
lath, and it snapped in two again about
the middle. Cap't. get it in the door
hardly, it's so stiff. By jocks, never
heard of such thing before. There's
-"
And then the lamp illuminated the
scene and disclosed Mr.. Middlerib, his
countenance all aglow and his hands
nervous with excitement, struggling with
the pieces of Master Middlerib's fishing
rod. The tableau was greeted with loud
and long continued applause, and the
laughter and tokens of appreciation con-
tinued long after the red ire had burned
out and the curtain WAS down. not en-
tirely ceasing until Mr.. Middlsrib threat
ensd to wear out the limberest end of the
rod upon the noisiest spectator. And
away on about midnight, when Mrs.
Middlerib thought, from the sounds in
his room, that her boy had the Group.
she went into see, and saw him sitting
bolt upright in bed. pounding bis knees
with his fist, and stufing the corner Of
the sheet into his mouth, and not bit
croupy.-[Burliugton Hawk-Eye.
In certain family in this city the hus-
band and wife are both active politicians,
the former being Republican and the lat
ter Democrat. One night the husband
comes home "slewed," and commences
a political discussion, which is over
heard by the neighbors. Now, there
was Buchanan" says tina wife, you
Republicans abused him, and he was one
OF our best Presidents" Buchanan"
roars the husband, Buchanan's been
= in bell, boiling, ever since he died!"-
Vallejo Chronicle.
"All this falling down on sidewalks 10
sheer nonsense, observed the old man !:
1T is worse than that, it is downright
carelessness. Now, when man reaches
slippery place like this, for instance,
be must-ah, waw!-wah! -whoop =
gosh!' And when the old chap got
through pounding stones and splitting
boards he lay on his back and helplessly
inquired: us it all over; am all here?"
"Tis showing Howard" We remarked
pensively yesterday afternoon; mark
the heecy emblems of natures purity. as
they frisk and skirt athwart the prospect
like a bashful girl with no rubbers on
working around slippery corner" and
the heartless youth outspoke: "Snow
odds; we can't go sleighin' anyhow -
Eas,on Free Press.
There it goes again, said Smith to
his wife dejsctedly, as be had been read
ing the will of the late Comm dors Van.
derbilt. "What ia the matter now?"
asked Mrs. Smith. "Why Peabody
overlooked US. then Astor, then Stewart,
and now Vanderbilt pops of without
leaving us cent. It's too bad Gin
cinnati Saturday Night.
Fashionable ladies in Paris powder
their stockings with gold dust. If the
fashion becomes general in Chicago this
country may as we'll be checked off the
list OF bankrupts at once.-[ Bridgeport
Standard.
A young man on the hill came near
creating riot last Thursday by asking a
red-headed woman If she carried ther.
mometer in her bonnet Brooklyn Ar.
gus.
u b. MOTT, a., @, II. Fux,