Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1877-10-19

Il WOmun W no htuut BUSINESS.
There is no reason why the inventor of
remedy to ''cure the worst case of ca ,arrh in
side of five minutes" shouldn't feel it hi
duty to place a bottle of the same in ever
persons hand-'price 25 cents; no cure n
pay" Therefore, the long-legged chap wh,
pulled doOr-bell on John R. street yester
day had none of that timidity in his bearing
which characterizes rag-buyers, lightning
rod men and solicitors for the fire sufferers
lie had e good thing,ard he knew it. Whel
the door opened and hard-featured woman
about 10 years of age confronted him h,
pleasantly went to business and asked
Madam. is your husband ever troubled
with the catlrrn ,"
''Can man who has been dead seven
years be troubled with the catarrh ?" sht
grimly replied.
but the children are liable to be attacked
at any hour this season." he remarked.
Who's children" ?"
Yours, madam
Il never had any, sir What brought
you here anyhow? Why do you come ask
ing those questions -
Madam, | have compounded a remedy
for the catarrh. 1t is good thing, I'll war
rant it to knock any case of cstarrh sky
high in less than five minutes"
We'll sir, whats all this to me?
"Why, madam WHY he stammered.
"Do look as if | needed any catarrh rem
edies ," she demanded as she stepped out on
the platform.
Madam, | would not for the world have
you think that thought you had the catarih, ,
but | suppose the fair and lovely can be at
tackled as well as the strong and brave"
And what have got to do with all that
rigmarole?'' Who are you, sir, and what do
you want ?'
Madam" he whispered, backing down
one step, IL have compounded remedy for
the catarrh'
'N hos catarrh, sir ?''
Madam, am selling ms catarrh-'
Where is your catarrh-where is it ?'
she interrupted
He got down on the second step and softly
began
Madam, have got a sure cure for the
catarrh, and am selling lots of it,"
We'll, what do care Must you RIG
my bell to tell me that you are selling lots
Of catarrh medicine -
He got down on the walk, clear of the
steps, and he tried hard to look beautiful
around the mouth as he explained:
Madam, didn't ask you if your hus-
band was ever troubled with catarrh?"
Yes sir. and didn't reply that he was
dead? Do you want to see his grave, sir ?''
''No madam, do not. | am sorry he's
dead, but my catarrh remedy can't help him
any. Goodbye, madam
Here, sir, hold on minute :" she called,
what was YOUR business with me ?"
why, have remedy for the catarrh."
$50 you said before.
IL asked you if you didn't want to pur-
chase and"
.'You are falsifer, sir you never asked
me to purchase ~
DO yOu-want--a-bottle ?" he slowly
asked.
"Yes, sir give me two Of them here's
your money Next time you want to sell
your catarrh remedy don't begin to talk
around about the discovery of America by
Columbus Here you've bothered me fifteen
minutes, and put all my work behind, and
its good for YOU | didn't bring the broom to
the door -
He rctr6ated backwards through the gate,
his left eye squinted up and his mouth open.
lie shut the gate, leaned long over it and
looked long at the front door. Bye and bye
he said
Darn EN- You can never tell where to
find EN- l''-Defron Free Press.