The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1877-10-20
Fun in q sanday.school Convention.

The late Sunday-school Convention
in Talmage's Tabernacle, says a New
York paper, was marked by more fun
than any religious assemblage ever
known in Brooklyn. The merriment
was introduced by Talmage, who told of
the amazing happiness of the quotations
made from Scripture by those whose
conversions come late in life. He
knew of one man who, in doleful
strain, told congregation at a prayer
meeting how great sinner he was.
81 was an awful sinner" said he; "a
great sinner. 1 was the chief among
ten thousand, and the one altogether
lovely" Some men never learn how to
phrase prayer. A spirited horse was
running ava with man, and every
minute promised to be his last. He
grabbed hold of the sides of the wagon
as it bounced along after the runaway,
and as he could not think of any
other prayer, he said, sob, Lord,
make us thankful for the mercies
we are about to receive" There was a
firing sameness in the expressions of
those who have experiences to relate.
A young man got up once and said,
{" 1 am on the ship of Zion, and we are
sailing up the heavenly harbor; soon
we'll reach the golden gates" Another
man said, 81, too, am on the ship of
Zion, and we are sailing with good
breeze. guess we are going as fast as
thirty knots an hour. Every man is at
his post. Soon We'll come to the
pearly gates" Another arose and said,
81, too, am on the ship of Zion. It's a
Steamship 400-hoss power. We are
going up the heavenly harbor, and
we are going faster'n any other ship.
We're bound to glory" An old and
feeble woman arose and said, "I'm
seventy years old, and for fifty years I've
been on the road to heaven, but I've
been goin' afoot, and expect to keep
goin' afoot until I get there; and it
seems to me if you folks that goin' on
the steamships don't take care, you'll
bust your bilers.'' When this story
was told the congregation rocked and
surged with laughter.
The Rev. j. Hyatt Smith said that he
was once trying to illustrate the differ
ence between hrist's joy at the CONVEX
sion of sinner and the joy the convert
ed one experienced. He didn't know
how he was going to get through, when
suddenly story crept into his mind.
His brother Natty, when child, was
blind. A cloudy film had spread over
his eyes, cutting off his sight. One day
he and his brother were playing on the
nursery floor, using large onion for a
ball. They rolled and tossed it back
and forth, until it became bruised and
juicy. Natty, in handling it, got his
fingers wet with the juice, and when he
rubbed his eyes with his hand he uttered
a sharp cry of pain. Then he jumped
to his feet, and screaming with joy, ex-
claimed, "Oh, l see! see!" The deli
cate surgery of the onion had cut
through and removed the film that
blinded him. He leaped into his moth
er's arms, quivering with delight, while
she clasped him to her breast and utter
ed words of joy. The happiness of the
child was one; the happiness of the
mother was another. "When return
ed home after church that Sunday"
said Mr.. Smith, "my little blue eyes
climbed into my lap and said, Hyatt
she has no respect for the cloth; it's her
mothers training-sH HYATT she said,
was that story about the onion truly
story?' Yes, my pet 1 said. ooh.
she said, Il thought you were only
preaching"
The teacher of the infant class of the
Fort Greene Presbyterian Church's Sum
day-school told of the perennial fun of
the three-year-olds who were in his
care. Children said he one day,
"who built the ark ?'' 81 know" said
a bright little boy. "Well, who?'
" The Government" was his answer.
He was trying one day, he added, to
give his class an object lesson. He took
out his watch, and, holding it up, said,
snow, look at my watch" "Tain't
your WATCH" said one. Its your wife's
Watch.n