Middletown transcript., 1877-02-24
Selett Sturp.
Mr.. Da1rymple's Mother
In-Law.

Samuel Dalrympls, Esquire, wa
healthy, wealthy, and handsome.
He had a large income. a brow
stone house on the avenue. a countr,
residence at Newport, any number 0
carriages and thoroughbred horses,
coachman, footman. porter and butler
besides the rest of the domestics, friend.
BY the score. young and pretty wife.
to whom be had been about six months
married, and yet be was not happy.
He had two mothers-in-law.
It was a sad and melancholy fact.
Volumes have been written on the
amount Of iendish perverseness sup
posed to animate The heartless bosom
Of one full-hedged. properly developed
and well-regulated maternal progenitor
of the legal order; multiply that by
two, and you have the sum total Of the
infections which poor Sammy bad to
endure.
And, of course, both of them resided
with him, made part and parcel Of his
household.
When be was paying his addresses
to Evaline Nasty, now Mrs. Samuel
Dalrymple, disinterested friends bad
called his attention to the fact that
though the fair Evaline was young,
being scarcely seventeen years old.
pretty, well-educated and witty, she
had a mother, the relict Of the late
Nathan Nasby, Esq. who was fair, fat
and forty, and who in turn also had a
mother, Mrs. Araminta, the still sor-
rowing widow Of Benjamin Bumptou,
Esq, a lady who bore her ffty-six
summers with remarkable vigor and
juvinility, and that, figuratively speak
ing. he would be obliged to marry not
only the pretty daughter, but also the
full-proportioned mother and the frisky
grandmother.
But what man in love has ever yet
listened to the dictate Of reason Para
phrasing Hamlet. Sammy had dramat-
ically declared that be would marry
Evaline, even if she had forty thousand
mothers of the FIRST and second degree
and thus we find him now suffering
martrydom of entirely his own seeking |
On the morning Of the day on which |
we write, be had broached the subject
Of taking carriage ride through the
park With his wife. She had at FIRST
consented, then like o dutiful daughter
relegated the question to her mamma,
who had insinuated that if the family
vehicle would be taken, instead Of the |
buggy with seats only for two. and
then seeing Sammy froWn, had finally
left the matter to be decided by her
mother, Wno quashsd the whole pro-
cseding BY dOgmatieally declaring that
it was going to rain, and that her
granddaughter was not going to get
drenched to the skin. not if she, Mrs
Bumpton, knew herself
Thereat Sammy had gone of 10 a
huff, aUd returHing for dinner in the
afternoon, bad been deprived Of bis
wife's society, by the fact that she was
taking a two hours lesson in the
higher branches Of vocal and instru-
mental music. under the direction of
Professor Won Boyle, and BY express
command of her two mammas
The prospects for the evening we're
rather gloomy, embracing either an at
tack Of the gOut on the part Of Mrs.
Nasty. or Of nervous headache on the
part of Mrs. Bumptou, or, at the best,
a rubber of whist with the grandmother
for partner.
We have given the days programme
in full, because it is typical of its kind,
and its constant repetition was fretting
poor Sammy's life out; not that be had
quietly submitted from the first, but
his mother-in-laW had, step BY step,
his spirits. and bis Wife's
tendency to fall into Mysteries at the
slightest scene between him and the
she-dragons, as he affectionateIy, though
secretly termed them, had served to
make their victory over him complete.
With the evening, however, came
Colonel Bob Benson.
The colonel was a character.
A man Of forty and a bachelor. Tall
ind lean in appearance, with an iron
gray military moustache giving bis
,ountenance a ferocious cast, sharp,
yray, twinkling eyes, an everlasting
alker, and since he had concluded his
hort, if not inglorious, martial career,
dramatic critics for half dozen pa
,ers, and inveterate free lunch fend,
general sponger on bis wealthy friends,
nd uncOmplimentary holder Of dead
Iead tickets to all the local theatres.
The family were. as usual, assem-
led in the parlor and with a bop,
kip and jump, the colonel bounced iu
pon them like an animated whirl-
rind.
"Good evening. Mrs. Bumpton,
risd he, saluting her first, as 10 duty
,ound. Il declare you grow younger
very day; servant, Mrs. Nasby,
ovely mother of a lovelier daughter, {
meaning Mrs. Dalrymple And you. !
iammy, my boy, how are your Why !
ont you show yourself at the club. j