The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1877-05-24
Clerical Embarrassments.

An Episcopal clergyman in Connect
cut relates couple of incidents aptly il
lustrating the embarrassments under
which gentlemen of the cloth are often
placed, provided they are gifted with a
keen appreciation of the humorous.
During the early part of the services
on Sunday in Lent, saucy-looking,
frisky little cur slipped along up the
main aisle, and encountered hat just
outside of one of the pew doors. He
first smelled of it cautiously, then nosed
around for moment, and finally,
picking it up in his mouth shook it Wig
orously. By this time several persons
had their eye on the dog, and the sexton
came tiptoeing up the aisle in pursuit,
while the owner of the hat seized his
cane and poked at the animal. Finding
his situation uncomfortable, the cur trot-
ted leisurely up the aisle to the platform,
thence along to and down a side aisle,
shaking the hat all the way with evident
satisfaction. The sexton summoned as
sistance, and an energetic but quiet chase
was organized, so as not to disturb the
services, to which, however, few in the
congregation were now giving attention.
Nearly every face in the house was eth
er lighted up by a smile or distorted by
a grin, and the clergyman had a hard
struggle to restrain his emotions as he
witnessed the clever way in which the
dog again and again lodged his pursu-
ers, still clinging to the hat which was
by this time only wreck of its former
self. Finally the cur made his escape
through an opened door, and order was
restored. But the climax, for the cler
gyman at least, came a moment later,
when, continuing his reading, he en-
countered warning reference to dogs
Matthew, xv., &c. Inrunning his eye
down the page he fortunately
detected il before the words came to
his lips, and like flash the thought Oc-
Cured to him that to read this, after
what had happened, could not fail to
provoke merriment both on his own
part and that of his hearers. As the
best course out of the dilemma, there
fore, he skipped the Objectionable sem
tence, and none of his hearers suspected
the true reason of his strange expression
of countenance and faltering tone at the
time. He had conquered, but, not wish
ing to endure a second trial, gave the
sexton rigid orders for the future con-
corning dogs.
Only few weeks afterward, however,
and while the affair above related was
still fresh in his memory, another adj
venture of the same nature occurred.
A country couple came into the city to
get married, and the service was per-
formed in the church. Accompanying
the couple was brother of the bride
groom, who brought dog with him,
the groom having one also, and both
having escaped the notice of the sexton.
The brother seated himself in a front
pew, and undertook the task of keeping
both dogs quiet. At first they were in
the aisle, but eventually the brother
lured his own dog into the pew, and,
placing the animals head between his
knees, held him fast. Then he endeav-
ored to entice the other into the pew
by swapping his fingers softly and utter
inc low whistles, all of which the cler-
gvman could not avoid noticing. The
stray animal would come as far as the
pew door, but then, seeing the scrape
into which his companion had become
involved, would turn tail and trot away
Then followed a renewal of the whistling
and finger-snapping, until at last the
clergyman could endure it no longer,
and cutting the ceremony as short as
possible, fled to side room where he
could give vent to his feelings. He
saws that since these two affairs he has
never ventured to proceed with a service
when dog was anywhere in sight, foi
it would be impossible for him to KEEP
his mind concentrated on his Duties