davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Findlay Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Hancock County, Ohio) 1870-1881, 1877-09-21

ey ? 2l2
5GlCpaIE Election
Tuesday, Ootob0r9, ".
SHERIFF'S PROCLAMATION! !
THE STATE OF OHIO.
HANCOCK Comfy. s..
To the Qualified Electors Of said
County:
In persuarce ~ "a law ot said State.regulat-
ing elections therein, !, i'ariee a. Triteh.
Sheriff of the County Of Hancock and state
of Ohio, aforesaid, do hereby proclaim and
make known that the
Second Tuesday Gf October
hun -al
and seventy scy en-, il Deing the ninth day OF
=. III month, is by tine Constitution and Laws
~ ss;id State appointed and made p day on
which the qUaiified electors OF said county
shaII meet Al their proper places of holding
elec ions in thsir respective townships, be-
tween the bOu.S Of 5 x O'Clock A VI. and six
O'Clock r VI. Of sad day. and prOcef q 70 elect
by ballot the following stale and County
Officers. to-wit:
one person for GoceInOr,
One person for Lieutenant Governor,
One person. for Judge IF Supreme Court
One person for attorney General,
One person for Clerk ofSupreme Cont
one person for State Treasurer,
one person for STATE School Commits
Sioner,
One person for Member If Board o
Public Works,
Ttro persons for state Senators,
F-om the Thirty tiriId Senatorial District OF
ohio. composed o. the counties OF Fulton
Hancock, HenTy, Lucas, Putnam and WOOD
one person for C0mmOn Pleas JUdge.
From the Fourth Sub division OF the Third
judicial District of Ohio, composed of ths
counties of Hancock WyandOt. Crawford
Seneca, Marion and Wood;
one person for Representdtice,
One person for auditor,
one person .foT Recorder,
one person for Prosecuting attorney
one person for Commissioner,
One person for Infrmary Direetor.
The Findlay Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Hancock County, Ohio) 1870-1881, 1877-09-21
Second Tuesday Gi' October

AnEo DOIuini, Uur thou and eight hundred
and seventy >cy en-. il being the ninth day OF
=. III month, is by tine Constitution and Laws
~ said STATE appointed and made p day on
which the qualified electors OF said county
shai! meet at their proper places of holding
cleo ions in thsir respective townships, be-
tween the bOuES Of 5 x O'Clock n. VI. and six
O'Clock r. VI. of sad day. and prOcef Il 20 elect
by ballot the following stale and County
Officers. to-wit:
The Findlay Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Hancock County, Ohio) 1870-1881, 1877-09-21
To the Qualified Electors Of said
County:

In persuarce ~ "a law cs said State. .regulat-
ing elections therein, ]. f'ariee q. Triteh.
Sheriff of the County al Hancock and state
OF Ohio. aforesaid, do hereby proclaim and
make known that the
The Findlay Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Hancock County, Ohio) 1870-1881, 1877-09-21
APPoRTloNMENT NoTIcE.
c. w. POWER

Notice is hereby given that in the apportionmeEt
Ditch by the Commissioners of Putnam and Haneoca
s.oners have made award as show below:
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1877-01-26
A TOUGH sroRY.

There lives in New Hampshire a man
named Joe, a fellow noted for the to,,erb
lies he can tell. Joe called in at Hol.
ton's lately and found him almost cboL
ed with smoke, when he suggested, avou
doh't know as much about manaein0
smoky chimnies as / do Squire or
you'd cure 'em. .sAh!n said Holton
I'd d You ever see smoky chimney
cured !'' s'Seen it !iI think l have
had the worst III Seaboard county aud
] cured it little too much" "How
was that ?'' asked Holton. "Whv Won
see | built little house out at Wolfe
Hollow ten ar twelve years ago. Jim
Bush, the fellow that built the chimney.
kept blind drunk three-quarters eff the
time aud crazy the other. | told him
l thought he would have something
wrong but he stuck to it and flushed
the house. Well, we moved in built a
flre next morning TO boil the tea-kettle.
All of the smoke came through the room
ana went out of the windows: not a
bit went through the fiues. We tried
it for two or three days, but it got
worse and worse. by and by it came
Oh to rain, and the rain began to come
dawn the chimney. 1t put the fire out
III minute. and directly began to come
down by the pail-full. We had to get
the baby off the floor as soon as we
could or it would have been drowned.
La fifteen minntes the water stood knee
deep ol, the floor. pretty SOON ssw
what was the matter. The drunken
cnss had put the chimney wrong end up
aud it drawed downwards. 1t gathered
all the rain within a hundred yards, and
poured it down by bucketfullk." "Well
that was unfortunate" remarked IIol-
ton "bni what In the world did you
do with the house Surely you rever
cured the chimney? 'ssDidl.'s though. -
answered old Joe, s'yes did - GLOW: -
asked Ilolton. .Turled it the other
end np,' answered the incorrigible,
'sand then you ought to have seen ID
draw That was the way cured it
too snuch.' "Drew too much 90 asked
Hilton. "Well Squire, yoa may i,sdge
for yourself" said old Joe. "Pretty
soon after we got the chimney down the
other end up, missed .,ne Of the chairs
from the room, ami directly seed an
other OF them shooting toward the fire.
place. Next went the table, and see
the back hog going mp. Then I grab.
bed the old woman under one arm and
the baby under the other, and started
but just as got To the door seed the
cat going across the f.N,r backwards.
F"ldhg on to the carpet, yelling awful
Iy. Ii wasn't no use. | jus. see her
going over the top of the chimney and
that was the last of her." swell,
what did You do then ~ asked Holto,,:
''ot course you could not live in such q
house" "Couldn't I though 20 raid
Joe. ''But did. put . poultice on
the jamb ot the fireplace aud that
drawed t'other way, so we had no more
troub;eo
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1877-01-26


Il is q popular error that prevailed
fifty years ago, and in m"re or heas cur
rent still, that our antipodes are the
Chinese. Now, the truth is, our anti
PtMfes. if we have any, are move than
three thousand mi es from any part OF
China. A little reflection viii show
that if a Straight line extend from any
point in the Northern Hemisphere and
through the centre of the eartE: il must
meet the opposite surface as far south of
the equator as the startiug-ps,irt was
north OF that circle. Hence we should
lind oar a"tip,'des at abnut 40 deg.
south latitude. and, Of course. at a lon-
gitnde differing from ours by $50 deg.
] said our antip0des. If we have any,
for it sn happens that the whnle region
ai'tip"dal to this we occupy liee in the
sonthern portion of the indian Ocean,
with scarcely an island to hold an anti
pode- The country mont nearly anti.
pofai To this is Western Australia, aud
To make the location more definite, 10
may be stated that Albany. town aud
seaport in the southwestern part of
West Australia, is antipssial to a point
IN the Atlantic Ocean, ahOut Eve hun
dred miles east Of Norf,lk, Va. and
that the island of St. Paul. lying Md
way between Australia and the Cape OF
Good Hone, is anripodal Ia . point in
Eastern Colorado. not far FROM Pike's
Peak, or Colorado City.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1877-01-26

A GRAVE MIsrAKE.-Aaa resident
OF woodward avenue stood at his gate
yesterday morning, . boy about thirteen
years old came along with snow-shovel
on his shoulder.
sHa b"y-come hese-want job?''
called the gentleman.
''Sir I" answered the boy with great
dignity.
'tPitch the snow off my walk and I'r
give You . quarter" continued the
Avenuer.
''Sir you don't know me-" said the
lad as he marched on. 81 am on nv
way to clear the walks in froRt of nv
fathers fourteen lots mp here. All our
eighteen horses are lame, and our gold
mounted snow-plow is out of order, or
else you wouldn't see me carrying this
shovel around. Pm offering Eve dol.
lars to any one who will carry it up as
far as Parsons street."
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1877-01-26

When Grover, of Oregon, under the
direction of Tilden, undertook to steal
q vote for the sham "reformeT" the
Democrats called it "taking the bull by
the horns" Recently, Grover left his
home on the tar-of' Pacific coast for
Washington, for the purpose ofconvinc-
ing the world of his greatness. He
brought along with him his man Pat.
Cronin, and the two expected to create
sensation. The N. Y. I;-t6ataae tribes
with the great men thus lightly:
And SO We fear that disappointment
awaits the Oregon procession. They
will not create a sensation. But they
will have the satisfaction, to say the
least, of being congratulated on having
tstaken the bull by the horns" The
Democratic party always does that.
When Jefferson Davis and the rest
took the bull by the horns in 1861, the
party stood of and admired. so It did
when Vallandinghsm took the bull by
the horns SO when Andrew Jackson
did SO when Tweed did in 1868 in the
New York election so when Thomas
w: Dorr did in Rhode Island years ago:
so VIXEN the Border Ruffans did in
Kansas, aud the draft rioters in New
York. There never was . party that
stood 50 ready to applaud taking the
bull by the horns as this one. And
then sitter all suppose fellow does find
himself on his back over the fence, with
sore head and torn clothes, there must
be considerable satisfaction in having
some of the most distinguished persons
IN the land looking down at him
through their eyeglasses and remarking
"Well, 1t was noble thing in him to
take the bull by the horns" And if to
this rs added the mild delight of having
read over to him before he gets up =
mile and shalt of solid argument by a
Cincinnati lawyer, proving conclusive
ly that the bull had no business to he
there, what can q fellow ask more in
this world of unappreciated phiIanthro-
py and unTequited toll These Oregon
gentlemen now are entitled to evmpa.
thy. They ought to have it, together
with the usual mileage Mr.. Til.
den. We suggest that instead ofgoino
to Washington to create a sensation. in
which they will be disappointed, thsy
present themselves at Grammercy Park
ae the persons who took the bull by tho
horns. And the very least that Gov.
Iilden can do will be, after looking
them over lsnguidly with his droop1ng
eye and saying, well, you look so p
to ask them to dinner. And he NAV
pay them mileage. Who knows
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1877-01-26
I'm the WRONG BED.

A married Johnny went marching
home blind drunk the other night, and
thought he was climbing into the win
dow OF his house, but got INTO the hog
pen instead, where fat porker lay
quietly snoozing. Taking off his clothes,
he hung them quietly over the trough,
and laid himself down beside his
&C Betsy" as he thought. After grumbl.
ing awhile at Betsy for breathing 20
loud. he began feeling around for the
cover, and soGloquized
"Mighty Gurus. Kiver must fallen
on er aoor-prob'bly un'er bed. Isay,
oP CONAN! ! how yer got yerselt fixed,
Bess Feels ofel curus-bI issels! Zis
Is remarkable coincicurrence Old
cal 'aG SADLY changed since las we met.
Wunner werezef ed" (Gets hold OF
the hogs tally "Ha-ha-hic, say, Bess,
how yer got yer hair fixed +? Beats ali
-twis'ed-squirled like q heather
Chinee. Les unwrapit. It's tighter'n
=; som /. Disgustin' way TO wear
hair. Dom care if it's style OF
n1t-'s get to come down. Say, where's
yer nose. Strange-you had a nose
Now, look yere, ol' CONAN, this-hic-
- foolishness's perceeded fur 'nough,
Perduce that nose, or II ki--hic-you
outer bed"
The mans wife, attracted by the
noise, appeared upon the scene at this
critical moment, and managed to gel
her inebriated lord into the house, be
mnttering the while:
"'At's not right, Bess-take vantage
my feeble condishun to turn me outer
house an home. Be sorry for zis W 'er
yer get-bic-sober."
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1877-01-26
p1sAppo1NrFD pEMooRArs.

As q reward for elecsiSg Tilden the
Democratic Tweeds and Morrissey's
were to have the privilege Of plnnder-
ingthe county but the election Of Hayes
cuts off all such hopes, and renders
them furious and ready TO enter upon
almost any villainous scheme that prom
ises, for time at least, TO give them
spells. In the language ofan exchange:
These men who have exhausted their
own resources and those Of their friends
men who have been impoverished by
wasteful extravsgancies and business in
coEpeteice-men who are moTtgaged
for more than they were ever worth,
and whose credit and character have
disappeared with their means, have as .
last resort from the dreadful alternative
OF working for living, taken 20 Poli-
tics have figured in war clubs; spent
all they could borrow in treating bum
mers and having TINS planted and wat
cred the seed, expected il TO rlpen into
an office under the sunshine of Demo-
cratic asce,riet.cy. For these people is
ia indeed n serioas matter, for, if Hayes
is iisaugurated, they will he compelled
to work for living, aud they think Of
work "a n Laplander do-s OF bath
that it is eure death. They swarm In
every State and city, and infest the re-
motest hamiets, their hungry eyep fixed
OH the pet Office which ~ ali that occu-
pies their minds, and all their calcnIa-
tions run on how much they can make
ont oftle ices and stealings. We know
that their need is very aore. aa,d we-
shall mot be surprised il, III the anguish,
OF their disaPPoiniment. hundreds OF
them should die Of . broken heart ON.
reading the news of Hayr' Inauguration
But we do not thi1sk that their exit
from this world will be any serious blow
to those who remain and we are very
certain that the honest, 3. lvens, peace
loving citizens of America, who have no.
personal greed TO serve in ir,lilics and,
who do not depend for their existence.
oD the sp'ils of office, are not going to.
set to work to cut each others thrOats
because few hundred hungry wolves
are barred out from the Treasury DOORS
where they have been barking for so
maiy years.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1877-01-26

A Fox SToRY.-The York (Penn.)
DAILY says farmer set a trap to catch
cunning fox which had been annoying
him considerably by its midnight visits
among the poultry. For fourteen sue
Cessive visits to it, he fonud tie trap
sprung, stick of wood between its
jaws. and the bait eaten up. TIE cir.
cnmstance, so often repeated, surprised
him. There were I.o other tracks To be
aeen but his own and those of the fox,
and who sprung the trap was question
that puzzled him sorel5. By continuing
70 rebait his trap. he hoped to catch the
author OF the mischief. On the fif-
teenth night he found a fine old fox
hung TO it by the nose, and in his mouth
was q stick of wood /
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1877-01-26
turn-much Obliged. Here they are,

turn-much obliged. Here they are,
sir.'
So Mr.. Harry Mortimer stIode off, :,
cLnckling to himself, with Miss Aurelia
Hopkins teeth in his hand.
He glanced at his watch. It was
jus: about the hour at which his infatn-
ated elderly relative was accustomed to
leave bouquets, books, or boubons at
the door of his iHamufata.
III cou'd only catch hin" thought
Harry. AiId, as if sent l,y some kindly
fate ia answer to his inward aspiration,
Uncle Mortimer came briskly trotting
around the corner at that very second.
lie did not see his nephew. How
should he when he had no eyes for any,
thing but the front drawimg-room win
dow, at which the iair Aurelie was
smiling sugar-welcome
But Harry beckoted to a boy who
was tiatten:ng his nose in ficnt of ba-
ker's window, and whispered message
III his ear, accompanying it with fee.
Yezzir," raid the boy, and darted
across the street like an arrow from a
bow.
eff you please, SIR" said he boldly.
addressing the astonished old bachelor,
just as he had mounted the second stone
step of the flight. "l'm from Bid
comes, the dentist, with Miss Hopkin'
teeth"
"Miss Hopkins what ?'' demanded
the astonished bachelor.
''feeth. sir" bawled the boy; and as
the elderly gentleman yet rec,,iled from
the little pasteboard box he sprang
nimbiy up the steps and pulled the hell.
E'AlIss Hopkins teeth" said he thrust
ing the parcel into the hand of blue
ribboned maid servant.
Mary Ann" said Mr.. Mortimer,
addressing the maid in accents ofsolemn
tjnration, tell me tie truth. Does
your mistress wear fal teeth ?''
"l-awk, sir,'' uttered Mary Ann.
"Anrwer me, Mary AIMS
But Mary Ann, with a second gigele,
endeaTored To escape. But MIR. MortI-
mer male grasp at the box. Mary
Ann, leal aud loyal to her mistress's in
terests, resisted, and the upsllot OF the
matter was that the little box came IN
two, and-out rolled the grinning set
of "uppers and lowers''-an undeniable
ivory tact.
MIR. Mortimer jumped hack. Mary
Ann uttered an electric shrek, and Mr.
Harry Mortimer, who had watched the
tableau from tie other side ofthe street,
knew that it was time for him To beat a
retreat, and he beat it accordingly.
Uncle Mortimer came To his nephew's
house that evening.
Harry, my boy" said he, ssit's all
over-mv wedding, l mean. It's up.'
e Is it p" said sympathetic Harry.
"Don't allude to the subject agar, !"
said Mr.. Mortimer. ''She's treacher-
Gus! I'ye been deceived all through.
daresay the rest nt her is as false as
ier-but no matter. lam disenchanted
at last. have bidden her an eternal
adipu 20
After all this it liz hardly necessary to
say that Mr.. Bidcome is no longer Miss
Anrelia Hopkins dentist.
And the diamond bracelet wager is
hopelcssly lost.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1877-01-26

LAlPs.-Sometimes a wick becomes
too short to carry up the kerosene, aud
the lamp goes out. If you have not
time TO put in new wick, piece of
cotton rag pinned on below will answer
every purpose, and become a good feed
er. IF hole should become broken in
the glass chimney, paste on a piece of
paper, which may often be done in a
memeIIs, and il will answer its purpose
well for long time, or until you get .
new chimney. Sometimes the burners
OF lamps become gummy, and prevent
the wicka moving freely. Boil them in
suds over the FIRE short time, and they
will become entirely clean, and work
well.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1877-01-26
From the Oregonisn.
yA4SORe
vANcoUvER, w T., Jan. II, 1877.

VANcoUvER, w T., Jan. II, 1877.
Capt. Strong, It seesns, begins to talk
fight in regard TO the inauguration of
Tilden, It need be. He is . very good
representative of the fighting croakera
of the North. Of course, they would
all fight if need be, but the difficulty is
they can not see the necessity when the
time 20 tight arrives. Has the Judge
forgotten . little circumstance that 5Oc-
CURED IN Clarke county, w r., during
the Indian war OF 1852 He must re.
member the battle fought for himself
near StrOng's battle ground about Is
miles from Vancouver where this lusty
valorous 6 Captain" with company of
volunteers had such perilous and
deadly engagement with what after
wards proved to be . small party of
squaws securing the woods in search OF
berries.
Seeing some signs of Indians near the
place Of his retreat, he exclaimed TO one
OF his officers: ssCertain IL is we will
all be killed !'' Immediately he and
his company made safe retreat back
70 Vancouver, the squaws following
hard after, hoping to dispose of their
berries to the company OF men. aud
crying, ssIa! Iai 1ica berriAsP Has
clatawa Boston man 90 But the berry
pickers could not ride fast enough TO
dispose of single berry. Perhaps the
Captain was not hungry for berries at
that time bat he made . successful
and timely retreat. Not . man was
killed or wounded. Truly yours,
ORTANn0
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1877-01-26
GOVERNOR HAYES.

he only safe rule in reading news
papers is getting TO be not to be ieve
the news. One OF the latest European
illustrations of tile necessity OF such q
rule Is the reported conversation he
tween the Marquis OF Salisbury and
Prince BismaIk. The re,nrter forget
to mention which OF the two coufiied
tile conversation To him. On cur ride
OF the water some OF the most striking
pEo"is OF the necessity Of the rule are
found in the publication of the inten-
tions of Mr.. Hayes, should he become
President. and the plaus by which his
election is to be assured. No man cer-
taIhiy ever passed through so fierce a
political campaign in this country more
unscathed ia every way than Governnr
Hayes. He said nothing, wrote moth
ing, and did nothing which was nnhe-
coming selt-respeciing gentleman who
was a candidate for the Chief Magistra-
cy. There were those who were dis
pleased with his tranquil retieence, and
who wished him To stake . position. -
or 'sexpress his views,n or ssshow his
pleasure or displeasu,e." Mr.. Hayes.
GA the contrary, knew that whatever
he raid or did could only be interpreted
AZ the word or deed of candidate, and
he maintained the true dignity of his
position. 1t he had been larninated. as
was al eyed, without sufficient knowi-
edge OF him OH the part OF the people,
: he knew very well that what he did af-
ter his nomination would properly have
very little weight. This was shown by
MIR. Tilden's letter on the payment Of
Southern claims. It's effect was % con-
firm the reality of danger.
Since be would not speak. the Dem
ocrats in dispair declared that he could
not speak. that he had no OPT, nlls, no
character; aud Mr.. Dorsheinler even
ventured To say, contemptuously, that he
believed Mr.. Hayes had been . cnrrx-
raj, OF major, OF captain, OF something
Ia the war. Since the election. aud
pe'dil,g the lawful dee aration of the
result, Mr.. Hayes has been equally re-
served. But the ingenious pnrveyors of
news have informed us of his interviews
with MIR. Lamar and OF his undoubsed
Southern policy. That If ne should be
the President he has already a s nth
ern p"licy there is no doubt, for he an
nonuced it in his letter uf acce,tance
There is equally TO doubt of his having
general policy in regard to the execn-
tive patronage. He has announced il
anequivocally in the same letter. II is
III both cases the policy of reason and
good senee, and the policy demanded
by the platform upon which he was
nominated.
We believe that Mr.. Hayes will de.
cline the Presidency unless he il con-
vinced that lie is fairly and lawfully
elected. If, in case of his election, a,.y
body should claim to have ssput HIM
through" we are much in error if Mr..
Hayes does not point out to him his
mistake. There has never been the
least .eason to suppose that I've does not
understand the situation quite as well
as anybody else, nor that he would not
carry into the Presidency the same spir-
it that he has shown il, every important
epoch OF his life Hospers Weekly.