National Republican., 1877-02-07
Natiuual GepabIifau
CURIOSITY sHOP.

The man who loses his head cannot COM
plain.
"A sexton has grave charges against the
community.
The man who does not enjoy good health
There is not much heard about political
platforms now.
Progress again. A Jersey City goat has
learned to chew tobacco.
Much snow has prevented the frost
striking through the roof.
The truth of the duel-that It ought
never to have been fought,
The man on the inside OF a boiler does not
care to strike while the iron Is hot.
When a car driver receives two counter
felt niekeis he thinks the dimes are hard.
1T is not fashionable in Chicago now 10 suo
for divorce until six months AFTER the ceremony.
"A gentleman said, when q pretty girl
trod on his toes that he had received the stamp OF
beauty.
The house In which Sam Houston resided
as President of the Republic of Texas still stands
IN Houston.
"A Kentucky girl who would like to change
her name Is struggling under tho psradoxicai cog-
nome. Of Helen Heyvln.
Some one has said that "Smiles are only
smiles when some one pulls the wires" Socisi
drinkers should remember that.
"A Massachusetts, man OF fine education
has become so addicted to rum tina the other night
he drank aquart of pure alcohol.
The five cent BARRIERS OF New York adver-
tlsc "Silent shave" and people WHO love to hear
them converse are almost crazy.
The Mississippi is certainly the Father Of
Waters, and when the hoods come the tributary
streams arise and 20 to their father.
The present is the youngest Legislature
ever assembled In Georgia, there being six menu
bcrs under twenty-six years OF age.
"A Boston beggar has been living by pick
Ing crumbs from saloon tables and eating thcm.
The stock failing. he took poison.
speaking of fire. escapes, the Buffalo En-
press says the oldest record Is the fond hu,-
band who lies abed In the morning.
-Remorse Carefully prepared statistics
show that Of the o. 23i book agents in the United
States, "27 committed suicit last year.
Senator Chrlstiancy is credited with say
ing, "a young wife Is like skittlsh colt-thcre {,
no telling when and.whcrc II will kick"
Mile Alboni, the opera singer, has mar.
iicd Captain RcIgler. OF the Republican Gvard.
She weighs i75, and Is anything but all buoy.
-Soldene In tights is objected to by the
Louisville COurfsr-Journoi. II Is evident tina,
nothing will satisfy that editor but a state OF n,-
ture.
1t Is affecting beyond measure to hear the
newly elected Congressmen, as they come In sight
of,he Capitol, break out and sing "sweet, sweet
DOME"
1t appears there Is no law 10 compel rail-
road companies to build bridges perfectly safc
after passenger has been killed he can recover
damages.
-" "'Pears like you don't recognize mel"
said an humble individual to a gentleman passing.
"No, SIR, replied the other: Il recognize nobody
until the committee reports"
A dilapidat al tramn waa racantIv g.,
Weighing against people who do not clean of their
sidewalks. ~ expect every minute" he said, ito
fall down and break my watch"
The Oregon penitentiary was recently en-
tered by some thieves while the guards on duty
were asleep and much valuable property carried
on. including the loaded guns OF the slumberinR
guards.
An lrishman who fed from bis native
land In iSis Is now In the Turkish army under the
title of llassan Bey. We have heard OF Italians
from Coik, but never before OF MussairnanS from
Limerick.
The Japanese are rapidly acquiring our
ways. Some OF their custom house officials re-
! Gently undertook to open a case OF dynamite with
a hammer and chissl. A new building will bs
erected on the site Of the old one.
"A suggestion which is believed to be
neither unconstitutional nor extra constitutional
that ballots for In the Southern States be here
after made OF boiler Iron. which will stand the
wear and tear OF successive reeounts.
Surprise is the essence Of wit, but some
how when q man Is climbing down . ladder In
awnh hurry and never finds out that one Of tho
rounds Is gene until he tries to step 1t with both
feet, II nevog:seen very funny to him.
Kate Henderson, one Of the contestants In
apedestrian match in Lansing, Mich, was whipped
several times by her husband to compel her to
tlnue walking. htlcngth she Informed the spects-
tors. snd they had the husband arrested.
The Rothchilds are said to be worth-all
OF them togciher-ihe agreeable sum OF o. 400, OOo,
TOO. One OF them, Baron Toward, has Just pur-
chased at auction curious piece OF furniture, COW
derc with plates tf styrCs, fol 1l0.t0O francs.