The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1877-12-06
EVERYDAY spICERIEs.

| l.
Seribner's Bric-d-Brae
EVERYDAY SPICERIEs.
/ ST.. LOUIS Journal: Of course you like
this windy, boisterous weather, girls; it
brings you plenty of chaps.
| CAMEL hair socks are shown for gem
tlemen.-New York Tribune Gentle
men always were too modest to show
| their stockings themselves. - Cincinnati
Gazette.
| On Cry Derrick: The street cross
ings are 80 bad nowadays that they
make a body cross. But that's what
they're for, therefore we'll say nothing
about it.
NEW YORK Commercial: A Western
genius has patented an artificial tree that
blooms and buds. But isn't this an in
fringment, we would ask, on some other
patent leayer?
ROME Sentinel: A Roman remarked
the other day: :" try mighty hard to be
honest, but sometimes a poor man can
not be honest, unless he steals the money
to be honest with"
/ PoMERoY's Democrat: ooh, that mine
enemy would write bookl" cried Job.
This was because he was job printer,
and wanted to set on that enemy Just
once, and thus prove himself profit.
ROCHESTER, Democrat: "Have you
seen the devil-fsh in the aquarium p'
inquiries The Graphic. This is strange.
We had the impression that the gentle
man alluded to didn't go fishing any
where.
New YORK Commercial: You should
pay that debt" said creditor, you
owe it to yourself to pay it. "Owe it
to myself, do IP said the other. Well,
in that case, Pm willing to let it stand
while longer"
WHAT is the difference between a
young man and goose? Why one is
served with tailor bill and the other
is served without tail or bill.-Er.
Yes, and one is down in the mouth while
the other is down all over.-Haack-Ey
NOTHING.
"What is nothingT says Joe to his pee,
| With q smirk on his comical phiz.
| "It's word, which we constantly hear,
But yet nobody tells what 1t is"
\
| 1t is-yes it is nothing, confound it;
Or % more % clearly perhaps. PERI. my y dear % sonny
e. B. D., in Boston Traveller.
PARIS PAPER: Those of our COM
patriots whom one encounters outside Of
their own country are divided into three
classes: Commercial drummers, mission
aries and convicts. The Frenchman
travels only because of trade, religion
or force.
CONTINENTAL dialogue: Old lady,
leaning out of railroad carriage and
beckoning to conductor: "Tell me, con-
ductor,, if smoking is allowed in this
compartmentr' Eyes, Madame, you
may smoke if the gentlemen inside don't
object"
THAT Toothbrush of Nine" is the
latest novelty.-Cdmden Post. 1t fairly
bristles with interest.-Mep York Cbn-
mercial Advertiser. Yes, and the sub
| ject is we'll handled, although some may
think it tooth thrilling in its harsh ap-
plication
ROME Sentinel: A stranger was stroll
ing about Costello's tannery, and ac-
costed Pat. Daily, the bark grinder: is
there man about here with one eye by
the name of Jerry McCarty p Fhat's
the name of his other eyeT' said Pat,
who has an intense horror of being
"sold."
Mr.. LEWIS, of the Detroit Free Press,
the most bountiful, and perhaps the
most original, paragrapher in the
country, can't get used to the pilfering
of weak and ill-regulated newspapers.
There is only one apparent remedy, and
its rough one, says the Cincinnati COM
Incredible dull.
SONNET.
Thefoolish bud would fain become a flower;
And Haunt it's heart out In the fair sunshine,
The ardent blossom, tremulous on its vine,
, Dreams only of golden fruitful hour.
, Amber and amethyst OF royal dover,
The perfect, purple clusters hang, and.pine
To pour their souls forth into perfumed wine
Impatient leaning from their sheltered bower
| o blind onesl All your blended stores OF scent
And subtle sweets to this poor end are spent;
That man should idly quaf from sparkling glass
and Ts and splsis pSis sshi9s Sse
The bud, the bloom, the fruiti How sweet they
4 -Ss,an NJ spalding, in Serioner for December.
| DETROIT Free Press: Boucicault says
: there isn't dramatic critic in the world
t who can tell what comedy is. Is it 8
: comedy when you go down cellar with
l the hired girl to see where the leak in
s the water-pipe is, and the candle blows
a out and your wife stands on the stair
i and wells for match and makes pun
e gent remarks at the same time.
a New YORK Times: A little Ottaws
: Miss was taken to church for the frs
e time after being duly impressed witt
It the necessity that she should keep "a
b still as mouse" She behaved hersel
s we'll until the preacher became warmed
h up to his work, and then, thinking b,
h was going too far, she raised her finger
e and looking straight at him, cried: "Se
e here, don't you make 50 much noise"
is BURLINGTON Hawk-Eye: A Summe
e Street man found eight or nine eggs il
e the stable the other day, and carriet
e them to the house in his hat. He stoppe,
1t to fix something about the cistern bo.
Q and set his hat and its precious burdel
IT down on the door step. Then the hire
ie girl came out to get an armful of WOO
q and stepped into the hat. Then tn
3 man raised her wages on the spot. In
IL u horn.
= ST. LOUIS Journal: can zis," n
u marked MacMahon, extending his han
and smiling affably, can zis is re bray
zhoneral Eat unto re men of re gran
,r United States armee have sade: wi
* on zis line it fight out no mattaire
Ia it consume re hole summarize 2" Gel
ne eral Grants face wore troubled lool
a He turned to the Secretary of the leg
1e ton and winked. The Secretary whi
e. pered something to him, and he ahemme
e. once or twice nervously and said: I" w
it musseer lie presidong."
IL DETROIT Free Press: An old man, ha'
We ing an apple-stand on Woodward Av
IA nue., was yesterday approached by
is hungry-looking lad, who asked "Sa
an amt you goin' to gimme an apple
in "Pll give you to the station firstW W
k the gruff reply. "You declare war, (
;er your All right, my old buckshotl 1
zee stand right here for the next hour al
nd tell everybody that you spit on your a
we Piles and then burnish 'em on your grea