The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1877-06-28
H0t0 to Catch a LttlGtic.

Hoso to Catch a L,tnatic.
ICharles C. Leland.l
Years ago, when was youngster, 1
became an assistant of DR.. g., the
superintendent ofa public insane asylum
in what town it does not matter; the
location doesn't affect the narration in
the least.
AS in all insane asylums, some of our
patients were docile and tractable, and
had the freedom of the house and high
walled garden, while others, being violent
and da augerous in their madness, were
confined to their rooms.
Sometimes one OF these lastnamed
gentlemen would get loose, fact which
he Immediately announced by breaking
things generally-upon which announce
ment the doctor would repair to the spot
at which he was "elevating the ancient
Henry" and, advancing upon him, with
steadfast gaze, would fascinate him, as
black snake does catbird, and march
him off to his room instanter. The
doctors eye was never known to fail;
and he imparted such portion of his
literally charm ing qualities to my fellow
assistant and myself, that we were able
to master any rdina-y maniac, although
the doctor himself had to attend to the
slough customers"
We had one lunatic by the name of
Smith, as tall as Tom Hyer and as strong
as an ostrich, besides being possessed of
as strong digestive powers as that
interesting bird, for he once got loose
and swallowed so many cents that he
ratified when he walked, yet he showed
no injurious effects from the meal.
He had broken out of his room two or
three times, but had always gone back
very docilely when any of us made our
appearance.
The asylum had saloon in the center
with door at each end; and one OF these
doors requiring fixing once upon time,
carpenter was engaged upon it, when
in trundled Mr.. Smith and quietly
possessed himself of long, sharp chisel.
When the carpenter looked around, the
madman gave a grin and poke of the
chisel at him; whereupon the terrified
man of chips scuttled out and locked the
door-then, while the enemy was batter
ing away at it, he rushed around and
locked the door at the other end.
Having thus Gagged the ostrich, he
gave the alarm; and 1, supposing that it
was an ordinary case which I could
easily control, unlocked the door and
entered boldly, whereupon he made
rush at me, and 1 incontinently bolted.
The doctor was sent for. He came,
and, after accommodating through the
keyhole, and ascertaining that the enemy
was at the other end of the room, he
opened the door, and saw at once that his
eye would fail him in the emergency.
Here was apparently dilemma. Here
was certainly a problem. Given: A
crazy individual. strong as a bull,
perfectly uncomfortable, and armed with
a deadly weapon. Required: How to
catch him.
To capture him by force was difficult
and dangerous undertaking, and to
starve him out would be tedious affair.
But the doctor did not hesitate for a
moment.
"Alfred," said he, ego down into the
surgery, fill the largest syringe with
hartshorn, and bring it up"
] caught the idea, rushed down, and
brought back quart syringe filled with
hartshorn-diluted-for / didn't want
to kill the man.
Then the doctor, Jones, and myself,
formed an army of invasion. We threw
open the door, and entered in the follow
ing battle array:
81, being shortest of the three,
marched first, holding chair in front
of me by the back, SO that the legs might
keep off rush if our pop-gun flashed in
the pan. Then came Jones, with the
syringe resting on my shoulder like a
piece of flying artillery.
Finally, IN the rear, In the safest
place, dixie all great generals, came DIR. B.
The lunatic sat at the other end of the
hall on a chair, eeing us keenly and
savagely. Slowly, very slowly, we ad-
vanced toward him. 1t seemed to me
that we were seven miles apart, from the
length of time it took to approach him.
The nearer we got, the more wicked
that chisel looked, and the handle seemed
to increase till it was as long as broom
stick. When we got within few feet
of him, he jumped up and sprang at us.
"Firep cried the general, from the
rear; and whiz spatter! splash went
the quart of hartshorn right bang into
his countenance; down he went like
log-it would have knocked down a
battalion; and while he was catching his
breath we caught him.