The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1877-07-26

scholars have just recited, he must
feel like retaining the missionary col
lection as o sinking fund.
We understand that one of the
Quaker delegates to the Prohibition
Convention said to one of our county
officials "Thee crusaded and that did
not hurt thee, and thee had better
Joined the temperance movement and
put on thy blue ribbon"
The Prosecuting Attorney and
County Auditor have been appointed
a special committee of two to meet
the Camden delegation and escort
them into Eaton next Saturday-to
procure reserved seats and furnish all
with "complimentaries" to the show.
If the bosses of the Murphy move
ment in Eaton would lecture a lot of
the young solutions who belong to it,
and tell them how to conduct them
selves decently going to and at the
meetings, it would be equally as cred
liable and good for them as temper
ance.
If any of our readers want to make
a cheap tour and see the grandest
country of the continent, we advise
them to take the popular Kansas Pa
ciic Railway, the best road in the
country, and visit the Rocky Noun
tain region of Eastern Colorado, near
Denver City. See advertisementS'T
TOURISTS" in another column.
A magazine writer urges that men
who do great deeds should have mon
uments erected to them before death,
for it can not benefit them after that
event has occurred. We've often
thought of the same thing, and if any
one intends to erect a monument to
us let it be done now, and let the mar
BILE be of the best quality, SO that it
will sell we'll if we ever wantto move.
The tented hoppotheatron with its
ntorhinoceropota-
muses. and other mamillary mon
strosities and altitudinous @rial evo-
lutionists, who hang quinquanguiarly
from their toes, and drop with pirou-
cites to the ~argillaceous arena; its IL
tipodean contortionists, aphoristical
humorists, archaeological specimens
and coach dogs, is now on the road:
in short, q circus is coming.
The young ladies of a certain town
not a thousand miles from here have
got the Murphy business down to a
fine point. When a young man calls
upon a Murphy friend he finds a MUIR
ply card on one corner of a center ia
bic, with a pen and ink, and OIL the
opposite corner the miniature of a
mitten; and before proceeding with
business he is requested to choose
which corner he accepts.
= Many q man, raised from poverty
and obsc lrity TO wealth and honor,
can trace his rise to eivility ; it is sure
to reproduce itself in others, and he
who is always polite will be sure to
get, at least, as much as he gives. We
believe it was Macauley who defined
politeless as benevolence in small
things. The French. who r nothing
unless satirical, declare politeness to
be the zero of friendships thermome-
ter.
Mr.. WHYKoFF MORTON, who has
been visiting in Eaton and stopping
at the Eagle Hotel for some time,
came very near Crossing to the other
side of Jordon," on Friday night last,
by an overdose of laudanum, taken to
arrest a very troublesome case of di-
arrhea. When discovered in his room
on Saturday morning about 81 o.
clock, he was lying on the bed almost
helpless and breathing with much diff
ficulty. DR.. Stephens was called in
and through his medical skill Nj. M.
is again on terra frma, and will no
doubt be more careful in the future,
and remember how he escaped the
"sho.t cut" over the plains.
Over in Marion, the other day, a
woman poured a pot of boiling water
over her son-in-law, dumped him in
to q barrel of soft soap, broke hisarm
with a club, knocked his front teeth
out and did him minor other kind
nesses, and because of it the brute had
her brought up before a magistrate on
o peace warrant. liza fellow can't put
up with such an occasional frolic on
the part of a mother-in-law, he had
better sell out and leave the country.
There's no use of getting mad unless
she refuses to let you sleep in your
own hay NOW or subscribes $500 for
you to pay for the benefit of the
heather mission.