The Benton record., 1877-10-05
The Aged Tranln.

The lady Of a Cottage Hill house, th,
nurse-girl, and cook, held a brief consaI Ia
ton, and concluded that an old man whose
toes stuck rod out Of his boots, and Ii,
crown of whose summer hat was held by
hinge ofstrsw and Tapped up and down il
the wind, disclosing the fact that the aged
wearer was bald, very bald, must be really
worthy and they invited him to a seat in
the kitchen while his breakfast was being
prepared. The fragrance Of the frying-pan
revived the dropping spirits Of the aged
tramp, and unlocked the streams Of con.
versation which the cold charities Of the
world had frozen UP. Tilting ais chair
back, he said
ssThe people Of the oil regions a pear to
get along rather slick. EverywheEe / have
been ttAings. look, en1oifortaala a,.l Aaaaq-
right ahead
t With that as starter, the old man car
Hried the conversation through State and
national politics, religion, literature, etc.
II like my meat well done, he suggest
cd to the cook, who be observed was
preparing to lift his steak from the stove j;
and that reminds me, he went on, that
the Russians are pursuing an under-done,
wishy-washy course on the banks Of the
Danube"
He tightened the cord that held his coat
tosetherin lieu Of buttons, tapped an ear
to unseata troublesome fly, and contipu
ed
aDog my cats ifitdoesa't make me half
mad at the ezar. fl had command Of
that army, do you know what | would do =,
and he shut one eye and glared 1t the
Lady ofthe house as inqniringly a. d cat
echism.
No one seemed to know
ii would push right across, exclaimed
the old man, striking the sink with his fist,
"and if I wouldn't make them greasy
Turks hunt their holes, there's no hereaf-
ter. All it requires is a pontoon bridge
ard a little gitap-and 60 long, Mary
Jane
His breakfast was ready, and, thrasting
his legs under the table with the air Of
man who had just bought The house and
LOT, aud paid the money down, he harpoon-
ed a roasted potato, and continued
aOld Hopandgofatehit, who has cons
mand of the Russian Loaaves, is in the
best position IN the world to skip right
along into Constaninople, and take pos
session Of the Court House. / would do it
I swear to grac,o Gus, ! would 10 it5' and
he reached out and captured hard.boiled
egg. ! would do it quick it would make.
their everlasting heads swim. Then
would take a run across the Mediterranean,
flop down On the Saez canal boats, tear up
The tom-path, md take possession Of the
mules. Then across the country to the
Gulf Of Mexico. / would dy as the hur-
rieane, leaving death and iesolation in my
see here, Susan, he said, breaking short
and addressing the hurse-girl, for the
love Of heaven, don't hold the baby with
lis head down
The old gent continued to draw II the
yietuals ike man who hadn't tasted
bite for SIX months, and talking III u way
to turn book-agent green with envy. He
told the women what Congress ought to
dc when It meets, and finally shoyed away
from The table, wiped his lips on the cloth,
and asked # they had : pair Of old pants
that wasn't bagged at the knees. TAepants
we're hunted up, and handed 10 him by the
lady.of the house, who Ia turn asked ifhe#
would go out into tbs. garden-pateh and
!lll . few potata-bags for her
Potato bugs be said, as be gathered
up bis hat aud passed tothe door, potato !
bugs are something With wich ! have had
be experience. I don't know one from
iaY-bird. But afriend aflnine vii ba'along
here about noon, who can kill more potato