The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1877-08-30
Witty and Wise,

Theworld sgoverned by three things
wisdom, authority for rough people, ant
appearance for superficial people.
Very few in the world have thei
passions adequately occupied; almos
everybody has itin them to be better thai
they are.
In this world there is one thing god
like; the essence of all that ever was OF
ever will be godlike in this world-tht
veneration to human worth by thehe
of men.
MORNING GLORY.
Wondrous interlacementi
Holding fast to threads by green and silky rings,
Generous in its bloom, and sheltering while il
clings,
Sturdy morning glory.
Creeping through the easement
Slanting to the floor, in dusty shining beams,
Dancing on the door, in quick, fantastic gleams
Comes the new days light, and pours in tideless
streams,
Golden morning glory.
In the lonely basement,
Rocking in the sun, the baby's cradle stands;
Now the little one thrusts out its rosy hands;
Soon her eyes will open; then in all the lands
No such morning glory!
Scoff not at the natural defects of any
which are not in their power to amend.
o, it is cruel to beat cripple with his
own crutches sl-Fnller.
The aggregate happiness of society
which is best promoted by the practice
of a virtuous policy, is or ought to
be the end of all government Wash
ingtOn.
Many judge rashly only for the
pleasure they take to discourse, and
make conjectures of other mems man.
ners by way of exercising their wits
De Sales.
Mrs. Mulock-Craik has written some
verses about "When a man comes
home" She says: "When man comes
home let him enter smiling" To which
the Norristown Herald rejoins: But
pretty often he has smiled so much be-
fore he comes home that it is almost i'm
possible for him to enter at ALL"
Take away your Spartan boy and his
fox. The lad who puts lighted cigar
in his pocket when he meets his father,
and tells what the Sunday-school teacher
said, while the cigar is burning him, is
infinitely more worthy of admiration.
M. Thiers, who is now over eighty
years of age, still shaves with his left
hand.-Er. A Federal Street man, too,
is also peculiar in this way. He is now
an old man, over eighty watermelon sea-
sons have fitted over his head, but
he shaves with razor.-Camden Post.
Pittsburg Telegraph: The Arabian
archeologists claim that they have dis
covered the grave of Eve, and state that
she must have been about three hundred
feet tail. And yet Adam, poor man, has
been blamed for eating the apple when
she requested him to.
How very odd that poets should suppose
THERE'S no poetry about nose,
When plain as a mans nose upon his face,
A noseless face would lack poetic grace!
Why, what would be the fragrance of a rose,
And where would be the mortal means of telling
Whether vile or wholesome odor flows
Around us, if we owned no sense of smelling?
Meath starry eyes, DER ruby lips it grows,
Beauty is in its form, and music in its blows!
Boy" said gentleman to the hostler
of hotel on alighting from his phaeton,
+" extricate that quadruped from the
vehicle, stabulate him, donate him an
adequate supply of nutritious ailment,
and when the aurora of morning shall
again illuminate the oriental horizon 1
will award thee pecuniary compensa-
ton for thine amiable hospitality" The
boy ran into the house and told his
master that Dutchman wanted to see
him.
Norristown Herald: A "society for
the mental improvement of cats" has
been formed in Belgium. This is good
move. Teach cat that it is an exhibi-
ton of bad manners and ili-breeding to
sit on a back fence and sing the "Star
Spangled Banner" until an hour after
midnight. or discuss the Presidents
Southern policy with several of its
friends until the same hour, and the rain
of bootiacks, shaving-cups, profanity,
empty bottles and such things from sec
ond and third-story windows will i'm
mediately cease.
A San Francisco huckster bought
mule at auction for one hundred and
forty dollars. After trying for three
days to put his harness on from second
story window, the owner resold it for
fourteen dollars, on long time, and
under the title of "Sara, the High
Kicker"
Austia New ReUeille: In the Reveale
wanderings about town last
night he heard lady, talking across the
street to neighbor, thus deliver herself
on the subject of scandal: "Of all
things l do hate in this world lisa
scandalizing woman. Now there's Mrs.
Jingletongue, that everybody knows
isn't bit better than she ought to be,
and whose two daughters cut up so
shameful that no decent woman ought to
speak to them, and whose husband gets
drunk, and they do say he owes for that
grenadine she puts on so many airs in
over her betters. If l was to say any
mean things about people like she does
1 would pull my tongue out by the
roots, the nasty, scandalizing, stuck up
old cat"
That's Business.