River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-05-03
Soft sawder and Human Nature.

Soft Sawder and Human Nature.
In the course of a journey which Mr..
Slick performs in company with the re-
porter of his humors, the latter asks him
how, in country so poor as Nova Scotia,
he contrives to sell so many clocks. " Mr..
Slick paused" continues the author, as
! if considering the propriety of answering
the question, and, looking me in the
face, said, in a confidential tone: Why,
l don't care if tell you, for the market
is glutted and l shall quit this circuit. 1t
is done by a knowledge of soft saander
and human Hdtur' But here IS Deacon
Flint's,' said he; have but one clock
left, and / guess will sell it to him.
g At the gate of the most comfortable
looking farmhouse stood Deacon Flint,
respectable old man, who had understood
the value of time better than most
of his neighbors, if one might judge from
the appearance OF everything about him.
After the usual salutation, an invitation
TO alight was accepted by Mr.. Slick, who
said he wished to take leave of Mr..
Flint before he left Colchester We had
hardly entered the house before the clock
maker pointed to the view from the win
dow, and, addressing himself TO me, said:
II | was to tell them In Connecticut
there was such farm as this away down
east here in Nova Scotia, they wouldn't
believe newly, there amt such a loca-
ton in all New England. The Deacon
has hundred acres of dixie - Seventy
said the Deacon, 'only seventy well,
seventy; but then there is your fine deep
bottom; why, / could run ramrod into
it. Then there is that water-privilege,
worth $4,000 or $4,000, twice as good as
what Gov. Cass paid $4,000 for I won
der, Deacon, you don't put up carding
mill on it; the same works would carry
turninglathe, single machine, cir
cular saw, grind bark, and - Too DID,
speculations.' 'Oldr repeated the clock
maker, not you; why, you are worth
half dozen of the young men we see
nowadays The Deacon was pleased.
- Your beasts, dear me-your beasts
must be put in and have feed;' saying
which, he went out to order them to be
taken to the stable As the old gentle
man closed the door after him, Mr.. Slick
drew near to me, and said, in an under
tone: That is what call soft sander.
An Englishman would pass that man as
sheep passes a hog in pasture-without
looking at him. Now, find here his
lecture on soft sawder was cut short by
the entrance of Mrs. Flint. Jist come to
say goodbye, Mrs. Flint What, have
you sold all your clocksP Yes, and
very low, too, for money is scarce, and l
wish to close the consarn; no, I'm wrong
in saying all, for | have just one left.
Neighbor Steele's wife asked to have the
refusal of it, but guess l won't sell it.
/ had but two of them, this one and the
Teller of it, that / sold Gov. Lincoln.
Gen. Cream, Secretary of State for Maine,
said he'd give me fifty dollars for this
here one-it has composition wheels and
patent axles; it is beautiful article-a
real first chop-no mistake, genuine
superfine: but l guess I'll take it back;
and, besides, Squire Hawk might think
it hard that did not give him the Offer
Dear me- said Mrs. Flint, : ahould like
to see it; where is itl' 1T is in chest
of mine over the way, at Tom Tapes
store; guess he can ship it on to East
port That's a good man. said Mrs.
Flint; jist let's look at it Mr.. Slick,
willing to oblige, yielded to these en-
treaties, and soon produced the clock--a
gaudy, highly-varnished, trumpery-look
ing affair.
He placed it on the chimney piece,
where its beauties were pointed out, and
duly appreciated by Mrs. Flint, whose adj
miration was about ending in a proposal,
when Mr.. Flint returned from giving his
directions about the care of the horses.
The Deacon praised the clock; he, too,
Il, 4 - I,, D,,ff ho
Deacon was a prudent man; he had
watch, he was sorry, but he had no use
for clock. Il guess you're in the wrong
furrow this time, Deacon; it amt for
sale,' said Mr.. Slick; and if it was,
reckon neighbor Steel's wife would have
it, for she gives me no peace about it,
Mrs. Flint said that Mr.. Steele had
enough to do, poor man, to pay his inter-
est, without buying clocks for his wife.
It's no cOnsarn of mine, said Mr. Slick,
as long as he pays me, how much he has
to do; but guess don't want to sell it;
and besides, it comes too high; that clock
can't be made at Rhode Island under
forty dollars. Why, it amt possible!
said the matchmaker in apparent surprise,
looking at his watch, why, as l am alive,
il is four o'clock, and if / haven't been
two hours here-how on airth shall l
reach River Philip to-night2 I'll tell you
what, Mrs. Flint, I'll leave the clock in
your care till l return on my way to the
States-Ill set it agoin, and put it to the
right time
As soon as this operation was performed
he delivered the key TO the Deacon with
a sort of serio-comic Injunction to wind up
the clock every Saturday night, which
Mrs. Flint said she would take care should
be done, and promised to remind her
husband of it in case he should chance to
forget it.
"'That, said the clockmaker, as soon as
we were mounted, that is what | call
human natur! Now, that clock is sold
for forty dollars-it cost me six dollars
and fifty cents. Mrs. Flint will never
let Mrs. Steele have the refusal-nor will
the Deacon learn, until / call for the
clock, that having once INDUCED in the
use of superfuity, it is difficult to give
it up. We can do without any article of
luxury we have never had, but when
once obtained, it is not human natur to
give it up voluntarily. OF $4,000 sold by
myself and partners in this province, 49,
900 were left in this way, and only ten
clocks were ever returned-when we
called for them they invariably bought
them. We trust to soft sawder to get them
into a house, and to human natur that
they never come out of it.