The Republican journal., 1877-02-01
What Mr.. Pimpleton Did Not Soc at
the Centennial Exhibition.

derIul things which he saw at Philadel'
phia Mr.. pimpeton spent week there,
and it has hitherto been his constant boast
| that in SIX days he saw All there wa,
worth seeing.
The world was 'na,ie in six days" he
| mas been wont to observe. "and it stands
to reason that Il man ought to be able t
see all there is in it in the same length OF
time All the world wasn't at the Centen.
| NAL. but what there was of it saw
| This weighty reasoning has served tC
silence Mr., Pimpleton's fellow boarders
who have labored under disadvantage
in the argument. because none of them
visited the Philadelphia show These
unfortunate persons have been obliged tc
| listen to Mr. Pimpleton's ott-repeated de
scriptions of the Main Building, OF Ma
chinery Hall, OF the Art Gallery and Of
Agricultural Hall, until they have grown
even more tired OF the word "Cenlennial'
than of Mrs tit2simmon's hash. Indeed,
while the monotony OF the latter is occa
sionally broken by button. 4 shingle
nail, or an elongated hair, Mr.. fimple-
tons centennial discourse runs on contln
uously. without the ripple OF a change
1t 80 happened ON Thursday last that
one OF Mrs FitZsimnons's particular
friends was invited 10 eat his Thanks
giving dinner NJ the boarding house
This friend was a very large man, with
a twinkling blue eye a face A. rosy a.
Zach Chandeliers nose, and a remarkably
bald head. He was assigned Il seat al ths
table directly opposite Mr.. pimplelon, ans
| he had no sooner received his one oyster
in 4 dish of broth than Mr.. Pimpeton Is.
costed him, rs he acco>ts all strangers
with the words:
Ibid you go to the Centennial 7"
"Oh. yes; spent two months there, AN
swered the friend Of Mrs Fitzsimmons
''Great show, that; great show
" 1t was Il great show. indeed, rejoined
Mr. pmpleton. went to it myself"
Did You, now ?" exclaimed the stran-
ger I'm delighted to hear it, sir, de
lighted to meet with Il man who Went tc
the Centennial suppose you saw pretty
much everything Of interest ?"
" Everything, sir - everything" an
swered Mr.. Pimpleton. complacently
' suppose that YOU went into the
Egyptian department ?"
Yes, did" answered Mr.. plmpleton
i DcSlOWtt pti l!Culal dlttNtlpI upull tll'
Egyptian display
Very interesting, wasn't it? Wha
did you think of the animated mummy p
The animated mummy lreally don
remember"
''Wel now, 1t was unfortunate that You
should have missed seeing that Nothing
in the whole Exhibition pleased me more
used to sit for hours ut Il time talking
with him. You see that | have spent
many years in the study of The ancient
Egyptian language, aud | could, there
fore, understand every word the animal
ed mummy said. lie died, it seems, in
the year ;;.Oo1 h. G. At that time he wa,
81 years old Yon Will thus perceive thai
| his present age is 9l1 Years. Such !:
venerable man could not fail TO excite
| feelings Of respect, and | vas particularly
| Interested in the accudut ui his death
| According TO his own statement, he was
Il person of considerable political distinc-
| ton IN Egypt. Contempor .neuus with him
| there was one John \ Dix, who was all
| aspirant tor the office OF Superintendent
of the Pyramids. bat who did not receive
the appointment. My friend. the mum
my, was accidentally killed by this Dix,
while the latter was shooting snipe The
arrow intended Tor the bird pierced my
friends heart, and he was thereupon en-
| balmed. lie still preserves the head Of
! the arrow. really wish that You could
have seen thai animated mummy.
81 really wish that | could, rcjoined
Mr.. Pimpleton. family
"lou certainly noticed that wonderful
piece OF sculpture in Tie Art Gallery,
| continued the stranger he ping himself to
the cranberry sauce and beaming all over
| with satisfaction. The one entitled The
Powers OF the Press, By Powers"
Mr.. pimpletOn could lind no '.'''' - a.
ply. He simply .iiuuh MS head.
Very sorry You didn't see it sin The
most wonderful work at art which the
world ever beheld. A group Of three
fgureslhe Editor in the centre Deacon
Richard Smith on the one hand, and
George Washington Chids. \. NJ. on the
other The central figure was reprrsemt-
ed As holding Il pair Of scales one side Of
which contained Il schooner Of lager beer
u medallion Of Jay Gouh. ald It Stoti.
Exchange telegraph instrument on the
other side were placar,ls inscribed The
Leading American Newspaper. Ii coil OF
barOlnet1lr curves, and numerous rnycl-
opes marked 'NaSsal College, The scale
with the schooner and Jay Could weighed
down the one containing the letters !rnii
NlsSar Deacon lIrhard Smith had one
hand raised TO heaven and the other oul
stretched behind itnn ~ though pushing
aside imaginary wicked partner. George
Washington ChildS A. NJ was seated 1T
Il table, his head resting upon bis hand.
and his whole attitude suggestive Of
poetry. The inkstand before him was in
the shape OF :. coflin and, in place Of a
chair, he sat upon All eiaboralelv- wrough4
tomb, with the letters G. w. C., on the
door A copy of the Public Ledger pre-
coming solled. 1t was really crand-ar-
tistically grand. May / trouble You Ton
salt sir ?"
Mr. Pimpleton passed the salt, but said
never word His face had grown death
ly pale. his fingers We're working convul-
sively, and the drumstick upon his plate
remained untasted The other boarders
looked on in silent pity. but Mrs. Fitz-
simmons guest kept talking right along.
did you see that curious continuance
in Machinery Hall called the Kellogg bal
lot box ?"
MI Pimpleton shook his head
That is where YOU missed it again
One of the most ingenious inventions of
the age. The exterior looks like any bal
lot box, but after the votes have once
been deposited you can open that box and
bring out It majority for whichever side
you please. They gave exhibitions Of the
way in which it worked, and | really
never saw anything so astonishing. For
example, They would put in 800 tick cts
marked Jones and 100 marked Smith. Up
on opening the box it would be found to
contain , 900 tickets for Smith and say -
tor Jones. The agent told me he had sold
large number Of these boxes in Louis
lana. South Carolina. and Florida, and that
he had strong recommendations from kel-
logg, Chamberlain and Stoughton. Pity
you neg lected to see that ballot box :"
BY this time the perspiration had formed
in great beads upon Mr. Pimpleton's brow
and he was beginning to push back his
chair from the table, when the bald-head-
a1 ctrapror xubo had roaairoI H., ,x1.D,,.I