Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1877-05-09
07sa.usezzsszA
MlyAIOiR0l 0lSA.

Said a canny Scotch trader once
"Honesty Is the best policy, an, va
may taE my word in the matter, for
ha's.tried baitll." aro s't',t a4,t.la1
i "A boy may have ever SO yellow
hair and ever SO meek look, and
yet he vii drum on an old lin pan in
the back yard if half the family are
at the point of death. +'' :. e
| "Charlcy, what is it that makes vol,
so sweet ~ said loving mother one
day to her little boy as she pressed
him to her BOSOM 81 dess when
God made me Of dust he put a little
thugar in, said Charley. BAR l5i
i A precious boy Of eight summers
attributes the death Of a pet gold fish
his sisters idol--to the fact that il
couldn't take a joke. BY way of a
joke he used to catch ii occasionally
with a bent pin. '.''
| An exchange remarks: The only
jokes women like are those which re-
fleet ridicnle on men. Yes. On
taking up paper a woman invaria-
bly, turns to the marriage column.
"Do you really believe, Mr. Pod
kins, that anybody could make head
from butter 2" asked the landlady.
well, yes, ma'am, should think
they might said Podkins, as he push
ed back his individual butter plate !;
somebody has got as far as the hair
with this" ~
A Western exchange says living
in wild, Indian country may have
its disadvantages, but then these arc
all more than doubly compensated
for in the gratifying assurance that
We will never be inflicted with Theo-
dore Tilton's lecture on "The Problem
of Life
Norwich bulletin: An electric belt
for ladies, which is said to have a
tranquilizing effect upon the nerves,
is the last invention. For steady
comfort, however, it is not likely to
supersedc the old and popular belt,
which is composed of a coat sleeve
with a young mans arm inside of it.
The other day an aged couple
drove into Indiana City. Just as an
firm was moving into an
old church, which had been purchased
for shop. The old gentleman stood
up in his wagon, his mouth and eyes
dlstended. as the men silently carried
coffin after coffin into the church. At
last he turned to his awe-stricken bet
ter half and gasped: "Sally, it's chol-
era, let's gitp aas3 I'D ii s
Mrs. Patty Stanton, of North Ston-
ington, Conn.,, is bright ninety-nine
year old, whose impaired sight is
coming back, and who is growing
new set of teeth. She was married at
fourteen, has an eighty year old
daughter, and says she would marry
again but for fear that the happy
man might seek her money more
than her love.
"And what do you know about the
prisoner? r asked the judge of a color
ed witness.
81 don't know nothin' bout him,
judge, only he's bigoted "
"Bigoted p asked the Judge, "What
do you mean by bigoted ?"
why, judge explained the wit
ness, she knows too much for one
man and not 'nuff for two!'
Boston 7yuceler: Jennie has strict
ideas about equity IN little things.
When she first heard the story of the
Saviour's miracle i'm feeding the null
titude with the few loaves and fishes
obtained from the young lads basket,
she was awed into thoughtful and
solemn amazement. Some time after
wards, in the midst of talk about
other matters, she suddenly paused
and asked with special concern, "Did
they give back the basket to that
boy p nHl