The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1877-12-06
EVERY DAY sPICERIEs.

New YORK World: A new beautude
blessed are the poor, for their NILS
shall not be contested.
EAsToN Free Press The great advan-
tage about lean wife is that you don
have to call in a carpenter every time
she falls down stairs.
NEW YORK Herald; 1t Is about de
cided that Colonel IngersOlls father
used to give him his religious views IN
the GrecO-RomaH style.
NEW YORK Graphic: Mr.. Hewett says
the horn-of-plenty ought to be filled with
the Juice Of maize, because that Is
horn which will cOrn-U-COplOusly-
Now paint your sled and mend your skate,
And dig your turnips. They are Epei
Bring in the howers-m faint too late
Wind rags al0uno 'iis ''''s- ~ = Grap6ia.
EAsToN Free Pres: There is nothing
that will knock the ground plnnlng
from under a mans theological training
quicker than to walk against the edge OF
a door in the dark.
WORCESTER Press Faith Is sometimes
personifed as q drenched female cling
I inc to a sea-washed rock; but q better
peTsOnifcatiOn would be q bald-headed
man buying a bottle Of patent hair
restOrer.
BRIDGEPoRT Standard Solomon tenn
DIe stood four hundred and tWenty-fOUr
] years. but it is hard to make our children
believe in the glory Of a structure that
/ didn't have a single cellar door to slide
down on.
New YORK Herald: 1t was a Boston
man who went home early in the morn
/ ing, and, meeting the sad, repr0achful
eyes of his wife, aPOlOgized, " My dar-
ling, think you'll be shorty for thlsh
when you git shOber."
FUNNY Folks: Had him there:
Tourist Ito friend) As to that, my boy,
one year / drank nothing but milk.
Friend-Indeed I have known you a
long time, but don't remember that
What year was it? T.-My first.
BURLINGTON HGlCk-Eys; A man out
on West Hill kissed his wife by mistake
the other day, and for time the sad af-
/ fair threatened a rupture of domestic
amity But that was because, IN ms
| apology, he explained that he thought 1t
was the hired girl.
BROoKvILLE JsfersoniaH: Twas the
| last fly of summer, at our pastecuP
alone: down swOObed our bread hooks,
but the Joker had flown. Tell US, ye
winged winds, that round our pathway
roar, would it have been surprising had
we sworn a gentle swOre?
NECESSITY is the mother Of in
vention: necessity knows no law;
therefore the mOther-inlaW is no
30
bread is a necessity, and therefore bread
is the mother of invention; and gun IS
| invention, and, therefore, bread
is the mother Of gun, and the grand
mother of a son Of a gUn.-PhigadslphiG
Bulletin.
OIL CITY Derrick: Take dat chalk
out OBJ yO' eye" said the driver Of a
milk wagon to a group Of cOlored chill
| dren on Cottage Hill on Sunday evening
90 Don't you dot, Child'enH came the
voice of a fat negro woman who had
| overheard the taunt from her position
on the back porch. " De lOw-hbed son
of a sea cook wants to put it in his
milk"
The sky is a drinking cup
That was overturned of old,
And il p0urs in the eyes of men
I It's vine or airy -Oll-
We drink that wine all day
Till the last drop is drained up
/ And are lighted OF 10 bed
/ By the jewels in the cup.
r. r. S0dd1ri.
NEVADA Enterprise: A yOUDgster of
this town made a drawing Of a team and
wagon filed with boxes. He showed
his work to his mother, who asked him
what it represented. 1t is a man
peddling apples" said the boy. Bot
where is the man ?' Gone to a house
up the hill to see if they want any ap-
pies, " said the boy.