The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1877-08-04

Mr.. Gladstone, resolutions who movCd;,
is the House which the same dlSappro'eu'
4 ia for IbraiI, now surrOuuded by laItafSi
n Ia for Jassy, the Russian headquarteTSi.
is the knOut with which laggaids are nv,
n 8 lash, that's the English equivalent Of IL ~
MS Grand Duke Michael, now marching on hMSs
Ms Grand Duke Nicholas, brothers both OF 'he
Cars;
n 8 for the Pole, Gen. NepoEoytschl1SHl
0's the Eastern Question-to b. soIved by whom
~ for the Russians Who rushed on b'toum;
q "a ire Swath' in which they were m""Fn down.
r, sfands for the Turks who defended { e town
G's the Uka>. in which war WIS proclaimed"
y represents VA."na, a fortress taF-i"llen'
w in Widiu, an0th[r not 9ad,
X is the clazy X-Sull%n! Moarad. paris ,oocb-
DIT sfs, .bo zaolo,s the to,, rs and preachers.
What lovers swpar--To be true until
death, What husbands sweat -Hnnt
for publication.
.."No pains will be spared" az the
ouqck said when he sawed off a PATIENTS
finger to cure a feIon.
Why is coffee like an AK with a dull
edge? Because it must be ground before ,
it can be used.
The chief affection Of George Fran
els Train is too many ideas and too much
English langHage.
If Augustus gives Angelina a pair OF
earrings, need they necessarily be called
beau,Gus jewelry?
Last words of Parson BrownIow,
elf any lawyer comes foolirg around my
will, shoot him and send him to me-"
at is we'll to leave something tor
those who come after u.s., as a man SAID
wien he threw a barrel in the way OF a
constable who was chastising him.
A Yankee editor wishes no bodily
harm to his subscribers, but he hopes
that some of them in arrears will be
lseized with a "remittant" fe;1r.
/ "A merchant in Easthampton asked
his Sabbath-school class the other Sunday
"What is solitude ?" and was answered
by a boy that reads the papers, 1.-The
store that don't advertise. "-Er.
"Great uprising of the Poles" was
the startling news sent from Russia the
other day. A telegraph company had
been recently started and the poles for
the wires were just being ~erected-that
is all.
"A young gentleman who ventured
West in the prevailing fashion OF neck
wear, was Immediately utilized by the
thrifty grargers, who tmeared his lofty
shirt collar with coal tar and set him up
as a grasshopper trap.
Two citizens sat on the wharf liz the
sun for nearly four hours yesterday dis
cussing a remedy for tE% hard times
One of them whitfield out q number OF
irregular toothpicks, and tAe other inn
perfectly polished a clam shell.
.."Pa," asked an uptown boy, the
other day, " what is meant by ~paradiSeY
Paradise, my son." replied the father
gloomily, paradise is the latter part OF
next summer, when your mother goes ON
a visit to sour grandmother.
While we are erecting monuments
to the memory of our dead heroes, the
man who will invent a new stanc.up
collar with windows in 'em, can arrange
for a monument by calling upon us,
after we have been on a collecting tour.
We want our name written in a book
of gold as one who loves lis fellow men,
but fruit tree agents and men with new
kinds of glue must steer clear of us just
the same as if we were n whole cage Of
Bengal tigers with the hydrophohia.
The Philadelphia Saturday Evening
Mirror has a variety critic" and this
is his elevated and original style. awe
had rather be a button on Jennie Sat
t~erIee's overskirt than dwell in the tents
of the wicked" And this he attributes
10 king David.
"A grumbling old bachelor, after lis
tening to the following: "She was her
muzzer's own little darlin' wopsy popsy
dearly ducksy, so she was, an she mus
keep STILL" asks, "Why don't women
talk some decent kind OF Engilsh 10 thelr
children? ?"
"A New jersey paper suggests that
the shrinkage in the size of the bakers
loaves will 0 o make, probably, n scene
like the following: Customer-" Give
me a pound Of those crackers, please"
"Crackers, thunder! them's ~loaves, ten
cents apiece"
The metallurgist of an exchange says:
"American copper is entirely free from
iron and stronger" We don't object to
having our copper free from iron; but
when it comes to knocking Gdt the
stronger we weaken on American enter
prise.
"A fashion item says: ga bonnet
much worn consists of a brim and care
of faconne straw, with a soft crown made
of coarse muslin" And a boys straw
hat "much worn" consists of a ragged
crown, half the brim gone, and no Dand
around it.