davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mexico weekly ledger., 1877-04-19
JOSH BILLINGS, Guide TO
@~n@~@~ HEATTH

Neyerru into dsbf, II you can find
anything else to run into. ssh
Go to bed ariy, and get up ariy,
and be careful what you dreanahout
Eat fish twice a week, if you kant
git fish git herring.
Always be purlite, it kosts nothing
and win ~eonvinse more people than
logik viii.
Go to meeting Sundays, if yu kant
do any better go and hear the hard
shells.
Never say no, if yu kan help it, and
grease your boot reglar Saturday
nights. o.
Eat rhi bred and onions, and don't
fale to chew them well.
Be kind to yur mother-in-law, and
If convenyant pay her board at some
good hotel.
Battle thorely once a week in saft
water and kasteel sope, and avoid
tite boots. 2
Exercise in the open are, but don't
saw wood till yure obliged tn.
Avoid hot bred and terripins for
supper. rl5e
Don't fret and worry, kare hav bin
known tn kill a large sized tomas kat.
.Laf every time you're tickeled, and
1aff once in a while anyhow.
Don't ~philosophize tn much, phil
osefe is one of the luxuries of life.
Eat hash washing daze and be
thankful if you have shet yure ize to
do It.
Don't jaw back-it only proves
that yure as big phule as the other
fello.
Never gossip nor hiticize yure ma
bors. The chances are that tina are
full az good az you are.
Eat no billed lobster mol billed owl
just before going to bed, unless yu
want tn see how yure CRATE grand
mother looks.
Be kind to everything Better thrc
a bone to a strange dog than a payer
stun.
When yu grease yure boots us.
mutton tallow, injun rubber, ane
rosin billed together.
Don't sware it may konvince you
but is ure not tn konvince others
Stay at hum mites, if yu kant FIND
eeny thing else to do, play leep fros
with yure yung uns.
Keep yure he'd kool and yur'
feet dry, and brethe thru yure nos'
az much az possible.
NOTE.
Bi trying to follow The abuve gid'
to helth and happiness, the Billings
family hav bekum what they am.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1877-04-19
FOR SIMPSON.

She was a tall, gaunt woman, and
from the country, for she carried a
large cotton umbrella in II hand,
and a well-worn bulky ~carpet-bag in
the other. She was marching in and
out and around the Erie depot at
Long Dock, in a way that caused Of
fcer Biggs to wonder who or what
she was looking for.
"Were you looking for some one =,
he asked.
cts none of your affair, Mister,
who I'm looking for. Who be you
that must know other folks bus
iness?"
ssI'm officer of the Erie road ma
am"
Sob, you be. Well, then, I'm
from Parsippany, in Morias county,
and I've come down here just to put
my hands onto a man by the name of
Simpson. Do you know Simpson?
He's slicklooking, and talks the incest
you ever heard. He was a Baptist
up there as like rs not he amt moth
ing down here. Do you know Simp-
son?"
"No ma ana, l don't know any
such man."
"That's just what 1 expected to
hear. Then next thing will be that
he is q married man or mebbe that
he amt Simpson at ali. But if l get
my hands onto thst Simpson once,
I'll Simpson him."
whats he been doing?'
"He's been doing lots that's mean
for a man to do. He pretended like
he wanted to marry me, and kept it
up until everything was ready and
then at the last minute SimpOn wasn't
ready. I'm mad, Mister; and if
had him I'd Simpson him."
"Do you think he is here at the
depotT'"
That's what I'd like to know, fol
he's a man that travels. If / lay
my hands onto him he'll travel bach
to Parsippany, or I'll know the reaso
why?"
Find him, Mister? I'm obleege,
to find him. Didn't l sell a cow anG
calf, and the only decent shoat on the
place just to buy dress and but
ton-shoes, so l could look As fine al
any woman in York when she's go-
ing to get married? Do you think
Pm going back home now without
him-me, a widder-and everybody
laughing? No, sir; I'm going to
find that Simpson," And she march
ed on through the depot, giving every
Convenient plank in the floor a sharp
punch with her umbrella as she NUT
tered, THAT Simpson !"-Jersy City
Mexico weekly ledger., 1877-04-19
@Weekly Led
law 20 be made, With the stipulation

law TO be made, with the stipulation
that the newspaper proposingto do it.
for the least money shall be entitled
to all the legal advertising for one
year, provided that said newspaper
has a bona fde circulation of at least
three hundred annual subscribers.
ALI this is a species of cheap de-
magoguery, which we supposed too
low in grade and too incorrect in
principle to receive the sanction of
some gentlemen who are indulging it
gentlemen ought in fact to think
better o county newspapers, for coun-
ty newspapers helped to make them.
We shall not argue the matter to
any length. Dean Swift never uttered
a more incisive truth than that a man
cannot be reasoned out of an opinion
which was never reasoned into him.
That is, if a man adopt an opinion or
endorse a policy without reason, not
to say against reason, no amount of
argument ordinarily will change him.
But we submit in all can1or that
the proposed legislation about county
newspapers and advertising is assaila-
BILE On three grounds:
/. That it prohibits the parties di-
reetly interested, and by this we
mean the parties whose advertising it
is, from making their own contracts
and having their advertising done in
the newspapers which they prefer, and
which they take and read whereas
under the proposed system, it is
liable to be done inpapers which they
neither take nor read, and do not
want.
2. 1t places on a perfect equality
in law and fact county newspapers of
800 and 5000 or more circulation,
and in this respect commits a fraud
upon the people, and discriminates
unjustly and to the puplic deteriment
against that class of newspapers
which by their large circulation, at
tanned by enterprise and genuine
merit, can do advertising to the best
advantage to all interested.
8. Neither of the laws introduced
require publishers to whom advertis-
ing contracts may be granted to give
bond for their faithful execution. So
therefore any vagrant worthless sheet
800 circulation, established it may be
for the purpose of q single campaign,
and with no expectation of perma-
macy, may acquire monopoly Of all
the legal advertising in q county, and
thus coerce people against their eon-
sent, not only to pay for advertising
in papers they do not wish to patro-
nize, but to subscribe to them as
well.
But the whole thing is too bad an
absurdity in craftsmanship to be dealt
with very seriously.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1877-04-19
|CENTAUR
LINIMENTS,
Letter from q Postmaster

"AaTIocH, Ill, Dec. /, 1874.
m assrs. j. IS. RosE 81 Co.:
MY VIE has, for q long time, been q
terrible autferer from Rheumatism. She
has t lied many physicians and many rene.
dies. The only thing which has given her
relief Ia Centaur Imminent. / am reioiced
TO say this has cured her. I am doing
what u to extend its sale. y =
w. q. RING.
This il a sample of many thousand testi-
monisls received, of wonderful cures
effected by the Centaur Liniment. The
ingredients Of this article are published
around each bottle. 1t contains Witch
Hazel, Me-ths, Arnica, Rock Oil, Car
bolic. and ingredients hitherto little
known 1t Is an indisputable fact that tas
tsntaur Liniment Il perforaing more
cures of Swellings, Stiff joints. Eruptiens.
Rheumatism, Neuralgia. Sciatisa, Caked
Breasts, Lockjaw. &c, than all other Lin
inents, Embrocs.ions, Extracts, Salves,
Ointments, and Plsstsrs now in use.
For Toothachs, Earache Weak Back,
tch and Cutaneous Eruptions it is ad-
mirnble. 1t cures burns and scalds with
on! scar. Extracts poisoH fr9m bite
and stinss, and heals If M u en III
sfnr3 =" no. w;,hom. the Centaur Lini.
The Csutapr iphpSiment, yellow wrapper,
IA sJa,tod - 80 tough skin, muscles and
aash n tha sni,nsl creation. Its effects
mon sevnr. cases CT SPAWN, Sw, sny,
MID Oil kig Head and Poll Evil, are
little less tbs" q IIoes
corner Elm and Front streets, CiAcin natl
o., say: ~
eamsters 9 rs using the Centaur LIniment.
They prom ounce II NuPerior 10 anything
they nave S'Sr useo; We SOIL as hign as
&c.. n-T uoEen DDttiAs per month to
these teSnnsters."
ne have thousands Of similar testimo-
Eiala.
For Wounds, Calls, Scratches, Ring
bone, &c, and for Screw Worm in Sheen
II has n rival. Farmers, Livery-men,
and Stock-raisers, have in this Imminent a
remedy which is worth n hundred times
It's cost.
Laboratory Of j. B. Il osG & Co..
as DEFY STREET SEw Yapr
Mexico weekly ledger., 1877-04-19

Cures diseases arising from imprutI
habits of dissipation, &c, in all
stages, at little expense, little or nod
in diet. no Inconvenience and no h
ure. 1t cause a frequent desire and
strength to urinate. thereby rem OIL
structions, preventing and curing str
of the urethra, allaying pain and IA
nation and expeiling all poisonou.
ter.
The only reliable rem edy for all a.
of the urinary organs, whether exist
male or female, ne matter of how
standing or from whatever cause oie
ing.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1877-04-19

tons of government, to unite and
labor earnestly for their maintenance ;
and that, taking courage from a n
view Of the past, and pledging our
selves to God and to one another,
we shall use all means in our power
to uphold, perfect, and hand down to
pospterity the inheritance b~equeathed
to US by our fathers.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1877-04-19
PITCHERS
CASTORIA

Mothers may have rest and their bab,c,
may have health, if they will use Csstoris
Tor Wind Cnlic, Worms, Feverishness
Sore Mouth, Group. or Stomach Com,
plants. 1t is entirely q vegetable prepar.
alton, and contains neither mineral. NOR.
phine, MOI alcohol. 1t i, ne pleasant to
take AS honey. and neither gags nor sripes.
DR.. f. DiRocb of Dupont, o., says;
II atn using Castoria in my practice
with ths most signal benefits and happy
result"
This is what everyone says. Most
nurses in New York City use the Castoria,
Il is prepared by Messrs. j.. b. Rose d
Co., 40 Dew street, New York, successors
Samuel Pitcher, N. ID.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1877-04-19
THE MAN WHO E

One day last week a Detroit me-
ehanic was going down Michigan
avenue, and became favorably i'm
pressed with a pair of pants hanging
in front Of q cheap clothing store.
The pr,ce was lor, the goods seemed
all right and he made up his mind to
purchase.
II gif you de word of Andrew
-ShAsh--avv-aOv~ pants a-
like iron,' said dealer. I warrants
dem efery dime"
After three or four days veal the
purchaser found the bottom Of the
pants crawling towards his knees. 1t
was a bad case of shrinkage, and he
got mad and went went back to the
store, and said:
You swindled me on these pants !
See how they have shrunkl'
The dealer looked him all over,
felt of his head, pulled down the
pants and finally said:
1 shall give one thousand dollars
a month if you will travel with me.
How-what?"
You are shust growing right up
at 1.-THE rate of two inches a day, and
L takes you aroundt the country on
exhibition. Dose pants are shust as
long as efer, but you hat grown oudt
of dem"
s'Ion't believe It'll" shouted the
man, ~ am forty years old, and
quit growing long ago."
Il give you de word of Andrew
Shackson dot you was growing"
81 don't care whose word you give.
I say those pants have shrunk nearly
q foot"
"Has de top Of dose pants shrunk
down any?" softly asked the dealer.
why, no..
Shouldn't de waist bands shrink
down shust as queek as dose bottoms
should shrink up2 If it's in de cloth,
one part shud shrink like de odder,
eh2 When I sold you dot elegant
pair of pants for tree dollar, l don't
suppose you a growing 80 fast or
1 shall haf iiput yum straps or de bot
TOMS"
"Wsll, I don't like this way OF
doing business" said the purchaser.
"Shust like me. If sells such
elegant pants as dose TO a man, and
he grows ont Of dem, it damages my
trade. You hat damaged me five
hundred dollar, but i hat low rent,
pay cash, for mein goods, and can
make you dis ffty-cent tie for five
cents" VIZ .sza
The man walked out to the curb
stone, and turning around. shook
his fist and said.
"You are a liar and q cheat, and
I'll dare you out here!"
The clothes dealer took his pipe,
filed it, and exclaimed, !. Veil dish
is hard business, / will sell out, and
go peddling dose little dings, und eff
de grow it makes no difference, they
doesn't find me to make damages"
Mexico weekly ledger., 1877-04-19
CHICAGO NATIONAL REFORM
CONVENTION.

This convention met In Farwell
Hall, Tuesday and Wednesday, April
10th and 18th, with over a hundred
delegates from Illinois, Indiana, Wis
consin, and Iowa. Jonathan Edwards,
T. D.. Ii d was chosen Chair
man, and DR.. r. B. Cannon, of Wis
consin, Secretary, Addresses were
delivered by D.. McAllister, d.. Ed
wards, DR.. W. W. Evertts, Prof. C.
A. Blanchard, Pres. Wallace, Pres.
Blancha.d d, and others. The follow
ing resolutionsl were unanimously
adopted.
RESOLUTIONS.
/. That 1t is Of the utmost impor.
lance in the present stage of our ma
tional history to emphasize the fact
that this country was settled by Chris
tians who came hither with a free and
| open Bible and founded free insttiu.
tons of government on the basis Of
the principles of the Christian relis.
ion.
2. That the most vital national is.
sues of to-day involve the relations
Of Christianity and the state: and
that the truth which Christianity
teaches concerning these relations
never demanded clearer assertions
than now, viz: That Almighty Goo
is the ultimate source of all authori.
ty in civil government; that Jesus
Christ as ruler of nations has giver
a moral standard for their conduct,
and that the standard of His wsrd il
their supreme law.
8. That we perceive with grave ap'
prehensions the determined. and of
ten successful attempts which are
made to expel the Bible from our pub.
lie schools, to abolish the oath, prayer
in our national and state Legislatures
days of fastirk and thanksgiving, ant
other christian institutions of oul
state and nation, and so divorce the
American government from all con.
NJ cted with Christianity.
4. That a written constitution, a.
fundamental law, ought to provide al
explicit and undeniable basis for the
vital institutions Of the nation fol
which it is formed and the fact tina,
| the constitution of the United States
may be, and Is used against the ex.
isting institutions of our government
constitutes the best of reasons for
a religious amendment. #HE
5. That such an amendment of our
national constitution, harmonizing as
it would with all the precedents of
our early history, and with religious
acknowledgements in many of our
state constitutions, could not conflict
with any individual rights of con-
science, just as the establishment of
state education does not conflict with
the rights of citizens who believe that
education belongs only to the family
and church, or the constitutional au-
Identification of the war power does
not conflict with the rights Of those
who denounce even defensive war as
sin ; and further if there be any plea
for rights Of conscience it must be
entered against the Christian laws
and institutions rather than against q
constitutional basis on which they
might rest.
6. That the indifference of many
protesting christians, as well as the
assaults of open enemies, calls impera-
lively on all who discern the danger
hal. threatens Qur. Christian institu-
Fra q "a
Mexico weekly ledger., 1877-04-19
COUNTY PRINTING LAWS.
(From the Columbia Statesman.)

There is an. evident disposition in
the legislature to tamper with county
printing, and several bills have been
introduced having relation TO it in
one form or another. One bill is to
repeal the law requiring the annual
advertising of delinquent-land tax
sales. Another, requiring the coun-
ty courts to Let out to the lowest (and
one bin adds ssthe best'') bidder,
the publication of an advertisements
ders of publication required BY
Mexico weekly ledger., 1877-04-19

Read Lacklands advertisement and
90 to the sold Reliable" boot and
shoe store and price their spring
goods just received, which they are
selling cheaper than ever and war
ranting. Att.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1877-04-19
DIR. c. McLANE'S

-. LlN Elk PlLLS.
These Pills are not recommends
as q remedy for "all the ills thai
hssh is heir to-" but in affections Of
the Liver, and in all Bilious Com
plants, Dyspepsia and Sick Head
ache, or diseases of that character
they stand without a rival.
AGUE AND FEVER.
No better cathartic can be used
preparatory to, or after taking Qui'
nine.
As a simple pursativs they ar
unequaled.
BEWARE OF INVITATIONS.
The genuine are never sugai
coated.
Each box has q red wax sea! On
the lid, with the impression DR
McLNNE's LIVER Pits.
Each wrapper bears hesignatursl
of McLA<Ea and FLEMING BROS
Sold by all respectable drugglsa
snd country storeke"pers generally
Mexico weekly ledger., 1877-04-19
" Ia rss4.aa@&4sAs
$72 TO S16U rxs-------
. Horse and Wagon Free TO Ageus-r.
: The FAMILY SHUTTLE {
SO ;;'f5t: !

q eel
2 Mounted upon fine polished or oiled
s black walnut top table n treadle,
n all complete, $50 g
: The most solid, reliable and salts :
factory machine ever invented tor all =
: kinds of family work. An ackDowl- .
> edged unequivocal mechanical sue Z
Z cess. thoroughly .ested. ard used IN =
: thousands of homes. An efficient, ST. -
: lent, rapid, reliable and ever-ready "
helper to the weary wife or seam s
stress. that will do the work OF a q
.amily for a lifetime, and costing ,
: less than half the price of machines :,
- If q like quality. 1t makes the shut :.
8 tie, double thread. lock stitch (the ::
same on both sides of the work.
. which IT ceived the highes' award at
. the Centennial. The strongest. finest :
~ and most lasting stitch ever produced. .
= 1t does more W rk at less cost; ope- z
8 rates more easily. smoothly and fast :
= er and with less labor than any other :
. machine 1t any price. 1t is built tor =
, strength and constant hard work; r
- will run for years without rrpairs. 1t
is easy to learn, easy to manage n s
-; ALWAYS ready, iu a moment, to do r
Z every description of strong o fine ?
- fancy work han any other machine, !.
q at any price, eyer did or can do, and =
2 with less trouble. Il will sew any,
= thing q needle can pierce, from lace =
- or cambria to heavy cloth or harness {
= with any kind of thread, and run off {
= twenty yards per minute: uses a z
= strong straight needle. and nevar
2 breaks them. 1t can not miss or :
z drop a stitch, ravel or break The :
thread. The money 'Cheerfully re- 3
81 funded if it will not outwork and
outIast auy machine at double the {
price. II you have n other ma :
Z chine, buy this Snd have a better :
8 one. The ease and rapidity of its s
- motion ard quality of its WORK is its :
s best RECOMMENDATION, and it is thor. :
: oughly warranted in every respect,
by written guarantee to maintain its =
= merited reputation as 8 constant, {
- ready and ever-faithful worker in q s
= family for five years. 1t will hem, =
8 fell, tuck. braid, cord, bind, gather, :
z quilt, ruffie, pleat, fold scallop. snirr, :
= roll, haste, embroider. run up .
> breadths. etc, with elegance, ease 9
and quickness. It requires nc learn =
Ing; any one can use it in a moment :
= and it will earn from "a to So per 5
= day for any one who wishes to sew !
= for living, the best end lowest :
s priced machine eve invented. For .
: testimonials see descriptive books.
mailed free with samples of work. .
2 Agents wanted throughout the
country for this, the cheapest and (
- most rapld-sslling machine in the :
e world. For liberal terms, address !
A. CATELY & CO.. =
: Cor. Broadway and Eighth streets, .
? NV York. n42-IY :
q T ST 4KoNooa .Hb4v4A
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1877-01-03
The Affections OF Fowls.

Noticing an article in one Of your
late numbers Of fowl affection, | VEN
ture TO send you an instance that came
under my observation.
/ once set some geese eggs under a
hen, which in time resulted IN four
goslngs. AS usual in such cases,
Biddy didn't seem quite pleased or
satisfied with their strange ways, but
showed no real annoyance entil her
earlier bedtime came, and they re-
fused to follow her to the coop, run
ming about to pick grass or sitting
down in cunning obstinacy. After
enduring such conduct for just four
weeks, her forbearance gave way, and
one night she left them and went back
TO her old companions on the hen
roost Next morning | found her by
the coop, where had put them. wait
ing for them to be let out to resume her
care through the day. This was kept
up until she weaned them late in the
summer.
But they did not forsake her, and
whenever they met her, she was greet
ed with every manifestation OF delight,
and was always welcome to eat with
them while the other hens who dared
to intrude wore driven away with Ina
licious bites, and then they would sur
round her. and with triumphant cackle
give her to understand that she only
was the honored guest.
This continued for months, when,
one day, she was found dead under the
roost, and to get her out of the way
was thrown into an adjoining lot.
Several days after, hearing an unusual
connection among the gosllngs, we
went to them TO learn the cause.
They had just found her. and were
evidently trying to get her to recog-
nize them. She was then put out Of
| their sight or reach, as we pitied their
disappointed devotion, and so ends this
fact of fowl memory and Affection
! Cor. Rural NeD Yorker.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1877-01-03
POLLY VOC.

tree-toad. dressed in apple-green,
Sat on NOISY log
Beside pond and shrilly sang,
" Come forth my Polly Wog-
Nv Pol-my Ly-my Nog,
Ny pretty Polly Wog;
I've something very sweet to say,
My slender Polly Wog!
" The air is moist the moon is hid
Behind u heavy fog,
No stars are out to wink and blink
Atyou, my Polly Wog-
NV Pol-my Ly-my Wog,
Nv graceful Polly Wog;
oh, tarry not beloved onel
My Precious Polly Wog!
just then away went clouds, and there
A-si ting on the log
The other end, mean-the moon
Showed angry Polly Tog.
Her small eyes fashed-she swelled until
She looked almost frog;
a. How dare ysu call me, sir" she asked,
" Your precious PoHy Wog?
why one would think your life was spent
In some low muddy bog;
| d have you know. to strange young toad5
My names Miss Mary Wog."
one wild. wild laugh that tree-toad gave
And tumbled of the log,
and ON the ground he Kicked and screamed
"Uh, Mary, Mary Wogg
Oh, Nal oh. Ryl oh, Wog!
Oh, proud Miss Mary Wog
Oh, goodness gracious what jokel
Hurrah for Mary Wog!"
Margaret Eytinge, an Scri6ner for January.