The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1877-10-13
NOAH ON A SPREE.
sstbs Rail Against th. Flaw -Nasaf-
lying Gers espenssens OF the q s,etnna.
al G. exefue.

Correspondence TO Cincinnati Enqui,
rer Ii is related that after Noah made.
voyage which perpetuated The human
race he very properly got drunk have
no DOUBT the pilgrim fathers did the
same, Noah ashore, the ark aground.
the animals all safe, and the wof "a ready
70 be freshly stocked how naturally
that the captain, rid Of his great respon.
sibility. shonld take Some grog and go
to sleep. Behold him. the only living
statesman Of his ttine--Admirfl Fara,
gut, General Grant, and Abe Lincoln in
enc. Hisvery age is done He has ridden
out the deluge with the precious seeds
OF a ne. ara all saved He never finch
ed all that time, but stuck 10 the helm
and sailed for two hundred and iifty.one
cays--thirty-six weeks 1t was cheap
spree 10 the human race, once N nine
months, and all the contemporaries aud
posterity OF Noah said. Give the old
man a chance r But there was one fell
low IN his party, the germ of the indie
pendent editor, BY the name OF Ham.
Ham haa a son sort OF investigating
correspondent, by the name of Canaan.
Canaan, as the ma me implies, IN ust have
been moral scrub. Mr., Ham peeped
IN, easesdropPinglike, TO see If there
WASH something going wroug--soms
tntng TO reform the country on. Sure
enough there was Noah drunk He had
one boot of and the other boot was on
the niantel-piece. lie had his head in
copy of the Cincinnati Gazette. which
had been started many years previously.
The bottle under his nose was marked
"old BUmgartnei." and had probably
contained printers ink Noah was not
an elevated sight but we should never
have known of il except for Ham.
" hen Ham saw Noah, his relative
and one of the PARTY" his daddy. in.
deed, lying drunt. there, he said 1--WE
owl III take out my notebook and
describe him-all his pimples, bunyons,
scars and excres ;enees, and then III
relate il.
There You saw a picture only less
offensive than tae duet between the
mediterranean and the garter snake.
Noah was the frs executive statesman.
His ark and ii contents were the TYNE of
the first human state. For doing his
work so well he was decorated with a
rainbow. the Lord had blessed him
expressly, and tie liquor was pure
article, because be lived 365 years after
ward Lying down with his shirt of
and snoring ia bliss he was still reli-
able officer. But the sms.i minded
Han. .nsrely saw an occasion Tor an ex-
posnre, an nutcr,'. andra public scandal.
II Is the same picture presented to this
day when slaEesman is down, pull up
has shirt little more and call in the
world
Ham went GU. and posted up bui-
letins board Extra edition Hon.
Noah found dru nix Evidences of spew
around the apartment Fatal want of
length of shirt tail Shocking condi-
ton Of his socks Probable retirement
from the cabinet r
Two other sons of Noah read this
bulletin, and remarked 10 Mr.. Ham
SAINT you fine geranimm This is all
you will ever be remembered for Isn't
il a proud act y They took the whole
mainsail off the ark and started toward
the inebriated Noah backward, SO that
they could not testify sgainst him, with
the intention OF covering the repos;ng
statesman.
'Stopi" exclaimed Ham. Il see he
Is going to be hitewashed !. but let me
bring IN my little special correspondent
III V. Nj. Canaan.