The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1877-06-28
Why Thin Woman Are Always Unfortunate
in Smuggling.


Recently there landed in this city,
from European steamer, two ladies'
mother and daughter. although many
other ladies landed from the same steam
or, these two attracted the attention of
the revenue officres for the reason that
their faces were of the order of female
architecture known as the"hatchet-faCe."
Undoubtedly they were, to certain OK
tent, thin women, for not only have we
the testimony of the officers to that effect,
but the severe treatment TO which they
were subjected can be accounted for on
ly upon the well-known fact that thin
women are always the objects of Custom
House suspicion and hostility. Below
the level of the neck, however, these two
women were, to the average eye, decid-
odly plump. Their waists were large,
and their skirts were as expansive as
though they encircled the ample legs Of
q professional fat woman. Scores of
other women, almost as fully developed
in point of waist and skirts, were per-
nittcd to land unsearchcd simply be-
cause their plump faces pleased the Gus
tom House officers. The thatchet-faced
women, on the contrary, wero promptly
escorted to the inquisitorlal chamber.
of course no male Custom House officer
dreamed OF personally searching them.
To search women suspected of SNUG
CLING INVOLVES taking her completely
apart, aud even were any man capable
OF this difficult feat he could never sue
cessfully put her together again. For
this work a careful aud intelligent wo-
man is employed, and by this female
Custom House officer the two Ratchet |
faced women were resolved into their |
constituent parts and thoroughly analyz-
cd. The result of the analysis showed |
that they consisted of 8 per cent. of wo-
man, 20 per cent. Of valuable and dutla-
bile lace, and % per cent. OF ordinary
clothing, with u trace Of cotton. Of
course, the lace was Confscated, and the
two woman, reduced to state of thin
ness that would have rendered them less
fit to be handled by infants than is an
ordinary carving-knii were permitted
10 withdraw through the crack of the
door,and to hide their angels in friend
ly coach.
There is no passion stronger in the
gle. 1t docs not follow that this passion
should be gratficd, though truly chiv-
alrous man would probably hold that no
gcntlcmanly government should forbid
ladies 10 smuggle. 1t can, however, be
Justly urged that it is unfair 10 deprive
thin women of the privilege of smuggling
and to grant it to their plumper sisters.
Women of the latter class can carry
large quantities of lace in that dark and
mysterious ocality currently believed
10 be infested with petticoats, and never
awaken the least suspicion in the mind
OF u revenue officer. Tho thin woman,
on the contrary, cannot conceal goods
among her petticoats without eliciting
from hard hearted officials the remark
that her skirts are out OF proportion to
der face, and that she is doubtless o
who should bo thoroughly ana
lyBed. Now, the moment the thin wo-
,nan rs thus prohibited from using her
skirteifor tho transportation of dutiable
article, she is cut off from oil hope of
Wcre she to attempt to
conceal struggled goods in regions be-
tween her collar and her belt she would
be 'outraging tho credulty of mankind. ,
Thus subjected to tho hostile scrutiny of {
Prejudiced officers, she Is compelled to
the joys of smuggling, while 6
her mind is embittcred by the thought
hat plump women can carry full cargoes |
of lace and cigars without incuring the Z
least danger OF detection. y
This unfair treatment of thin women i
should no longer disgrace our revenue I
service. No distinction should DO made G
between tho plump and thin. Either {
Lao latter should be taken apart-no E
matter how plausible their skirts may |
seem. This is the plain meaning the f
and is tho only course COM O
Datiblo with tho theory of the equality /
IF tho fat and the thin before the law. q