The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-12-20
Interrogation Points Make Trouble.
Cincinnati Breakfast Tablet

iCincinnati Breakfast Tablet
John Spearkins was reared in Pennsyl-
yania, and was about as wild a colt as
the staid old Commonwealth ever
produced. He came to Ohio some six
or seven years ago, scattering wild oats
with lavish hand, but after thorough
course of unsat1sfying dissipation, finally
came to his senses, and concluded to turn
over a new leaf and lead a useful and
steady life. About two years ago he
married well-to-do widow with a home
of her own on Seventh-street, and settled
down.
Spearkins had not been home since his
marriage, and last month his mother
thought she would like to see for herself
how John was getting along and what
sort of a wife he had married, so she
picked up and came out to pay him a
visit. lie was delighted to see her after so
long a separation, and spared no atten-
ton to make her visit pleasant. But
the fond mother didn't seem to get ON
well with her sons wife, and departed
| for home far from satisfied with her,
and firm in opinion that it would have
been much better for John had he re-
mained on the homestead and married
farmer Barnstetter's girl, Melinda.
Johns wife was hightoned daughter
of fashion, and the old lady being a
plain simple-minded woman, entertained
the idea that she was hght-headed and
| stuck-up. The mother-in-law was an
old-fashioned body, of a type Mrs.
| Spearkins had never encountered, and
| she got the idea firmly seated in her head
| that she was the queerest woman she
ever saw, and she didn't like her one bit.
The first day of her stay Johns mother
occupied in asking the price of pretty
much everything about the house, the
wearing apparel and jewelry of her
daughter-in-law included. The answers
she received were not as frank and full of
information she hoped for, but she sup
posed that Johns wife was shy and back
ward on account of not being real we'll
acquainted. The next day she asked all
the questions she could conjure up con-
cerning the first husband. Was he bet
ter-looking than John? Did she like
him better? Did he have the smallpox.
or was he freckled. or was it simply dust
under the glass of his picture that made
him look so queer? Was he drinking
man, did he stay out late at nights, or
did he belong to church? Was he rich
before she married him, or did he make
his money afterwards. Did he make it
honestly: or by sharp trading? Did she
to get home of her own? Which one
of the children looked the most like him,
Willie or Madgie? Did she think
Willie was a better name than Thomas
Jefferson, and wouldn't Mary have
sounded nicer than Madgie? If she had
named Willie after his father why
didn't she name the baby John? Was
her own people rich? Did they own the
house they lived in? Did John have to
do anything towards keeping them !?
How much? Was it right that he
should do so, and leave his own folks to
, scratch for themselves? Was it her
fault that John hadn't been to see them
Did she call John'pet names in private
Did her first husband have black hair
like John? Were his eyes as handsome
t Could he play the fiddle? If John were
to drop off, would she marry again
; Would she go to the expense of mourn
ing? Wouldn't it ease the burden for
John good deal if she would do her
t own washing and ironing? Did she
think as much of her two older children
as of the baby? Why? Did she think
a woman could experience real genuine
I love more than once? Didn't she think
a man run a good deal of risk in marry
ing a woman raised in city? Did she
y think nice woman would go to the
q theater? Had she ever been there
E Wouldn't it pay better in the long run
to keep COW than piano? Wasn't il
: piece of nonsense, anyhow, to keep SC
o many nice things in parlor they didn't
+ use much, when the city was so full Of
: poor folks? Did they always have fresh
] meat three times day? Couldn't the
+ children just as well go to the free
school as to have private teacher come
to the house? What was the use oil
teaching them Latin and French, any
how, when provisions were so dear
L Was her first husband as good pro-
wider as John? Was it doing right by
! John to keep the other fellows picture
L hanging on the wall? Didn't John never
kick against it? Who bossed the con
, Germ, her or John? Did she ever throw
up to him that she owned the house
Did they have manyspats? Wasn't they
- most generally on account of references
7 to the past? When man was deac
didn't she think he ought to be buried
for good?
+ And so the guileless old lady kept he
tongue edging along every day during
her stay, with an utter absence of tact
" overturning and turning up thing
it would have been much better to leav,
T. undisturbed, and because the poo
prosecuted daughter-in-law didn't Sc,
fit to give her an answer to each ano
every question as full and concise as
legal document, she took her departure
7 with the Impression that her poor bo,
,r was tied to the apron string of a woman
+ as proud as Lucifer and as stiff as
f hitching post.