, 1877-02-17
CURIOUS CLIPPINGS.

Dandies and many goats never fail to
pride themselves on their kids.
..You cannot build fire in the morn
ing by laying in bed and quarreillng
about it.
The Spring style of hand organ has
only one stop. 1t begins IN the morn
ing and stops at night.
"Any young man is made better by q
sisters love. The love of another fell
lows sister will do"
Some one suggests that Darwin's
theory is incomplete until be can prove
the common origin of bay horse. and
bay window.
1t may be very consoling to know that
if YOU are apt 10 close your head" as
the term is, in an emergency, you lose
what is not worth much.
II say Pat. what are you about?
Sweeping out the room?" No, answer
ed Pat; I'm sweeping out the dirt AID
leavin' the room
A book has Just been announced in
England by Mr.. Duck. Probably it
viii be toGnd in musiln-a q sort OF can
Vas back.
That bed is not long enough for
ne." said very tall. g uff old English
man. upon being ushered into his bed
room by an Irish waiter at one OF our
hotels Faith an you'll find it is plenty
long, sir, when you get into it," Was
the rel iy; for then there'li be two feet
more ad led to it," Exit Pat, with u
boot fetching up the rear.
Careless, thoughtless man. you could
10 ever so much good in this sorrw-
ricken old world If you only would.
You can bling a flush OF plessne to the
homliest woman that ever wore pimpl. 5
on her nose. by saying 20 Il friend IN II
stage undertone: "What lovely eyes
that girl has "She may know you to be
liar, but she would always grateful,
remember you as Il Christian gentleman
A blacksmith was summoned to IA
country court as viii ness in dispute
between two of his workingmen. The
Judge. after bearing tie testimony,
asked him why he did not advise them
To settle. as the costs bad already
amounted to three times the disputed
sum He replied, Il told the fools TO
settle; for said the clerk wonId take
their coats. .be lawyers their sbirts, and
If they got into your Houor's court
you'd skin 'em,"
1--WE had terribly cold weather last
week. A young man from Madison
street. who took his darling out riding
,honghtlessly put his arm on the back
of the cutter seat to fix the robes and
shawls around her and the cold Affected
his arm to snch an extent that he was
unable to withdraw II for over two hours
L. is quite lame yet, but another dam el
says that the back of = sofa aud a good
parlor fire Will draw the pain out and
he has arranged to try the lie nedy Sun
day evening""
Editing paper is nice business. If
we publish jokes. people say We are rat
tie beaded If we omit jokes. they sa,
We are an ola fossil. If we publish orig
mai matter. they blame us for not CIV
ing selections If We publish Selections,
folks saw We are lazv for not writing
something they have not read iD some
other paper. If we give a man COM
pimentary notices We are cenSured for
being partial. L we do not give COM
s!imentarv notices. folks say we are Il
hog. If we do not cater to the wi he's
of The ladies. the paper is not tit to make
hustle If We remain in our Office and
attend to cur business. folks sly We are
100 proud to mingle-wit our fellows.
If We go out. they say we never attend
to our business. If we do not pay our
bills promptly, folks say we are not TO
be trusted II we wear poor clothes.
folks say business is bad, If we wear
good clothes. they say we never paid
for them. Now. what are we to do?