Litchfield enquirer., 1877-07-19
cLlPPiNcs

TE c;l-iPPIhcs c;-HP rsr r
 If you find a horseshoe be satisfied of good luck, but to find two makes horse, shoerance doubly sure.
 with him to the Danube, she would lave made him cross long ago.
 In a letter to friend a short time be- fore his death, Washington admitted that he preferred two blades to penknife.
 We mourn the destruction of Nikopolis. Nikopolls had semi-civilized name. Why could it not have been Cikhrwbszmqpg or some of those places?
 "Pa" said little fellow the other day, '.was Job an editor?" Why, Sammy" sBecause the Bible says he had much trouble, and was man of sorrow all the days of his life." A Danbury man describes church fea- tival for raising money as an operation wherein one-half the church buys berries at fifteen cents quart and sells them to the other half for dollar.
 More amenities of western journalism; "Who wouldn't be an editor?' asks the Lafayette Qnd. Journal." You wouldn't replies an Illinois exchange, eff you tried hundred years.
 Sidney Smith defines married partners "as pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated, often moving in op- posite directions, yet always pnnlshing any one who comes between them" r The New York Ledger undertakes to tell "how to win woman's love-" The most simple and effective way, if a man can't afford diamonds, is to take some re- freshment along and sit the other fellow out. Al
 An old woman on BUing examined be- fore magistrate as to her place of legal settlement was asked what reason she had for supposing her husband had legal set- tlement in that town. The old lady said; "He was born and married there, and they buried him there. and if that isn't settling there, what is?"
 The Baptist Weekly has long article on the subject, .' Are ministers entitled to vacation?" It claims that they are not. It is an ably written paper, from the pen of minister who has been Tn the Adirondack Mountains, hunting, fishing and drawing full salary, ever slnce the first of June. It Is intended to apply on- ly to western ministers, Burlington HaaOkeye.
 "1 undestand you're engaged" remark ed friend. She said she was; he was a druggist, and during the summer she wouldn't have to pay anything for soda water. Early next fall however, she ad ded, she expected to break it off and es- pouse wealth. She intended then to mar ry tue man who did plumbing for the city,. @ U t AtA G Ea&~ @- | It is reported that a man went home at about three o'clock one morning, and, us- ing his umbrella for billiard cue, smote his sleeping wife in the short rib, crying, ''Pool?' and sank into a sweet slumber. He has since explained to his wife that women can have..no idea how the cares of business will ssometime's affect g mans brain. A 3 The last Arkansas traveller tells a story of citizen of the State who, while on board steamer on the Mississippi, was asked by a gentleman, "whether the rais- ing of stock in Arkansas was attended with much difficulty or expense. "Oh, yes, stranger, they suffer much from in- sects."l s.Insects Why, what kind of in- sects, pray?" "Why. bears, catamounts. wolves and sieh like. " 7 @
 The settled expression of determination that mantles the face of man ho is just starting out to have tooth pulled, is on- ly equaled by the subdued look that creeps over his features as he paues with | his hand on the knob on the dental room door, turns quietly around, and tiptoes back Through the hallway. out doors again. AffI 5 lG6 EEJtae3 A man in Wilmington, N. G., found this paragraph in a daily journal: cit is said the Chinese make broth of certain kind of paper" The Wilmington man l was poor. He therefore attempted to make some Chinese broth. He experimented with the Wilmington Star, and was buried on Sunday. It was too thin.
 They had been married about three months. The boy from the store appear ed with note from her husband. She clutched the precious missive with eag- l CT hand. tremb bhngiY opened it, and read: | "DEAR wIFE:-Send me pocket hand- | kerchief.
 She went slowly to the drawer towget the desired articles and while looking for it she came across the following note, dat ed two weeks after the wedding:
 SUNLIGHT OF MY SoUL:--You will have to send me handkerchief. Your bewitch- ing eyes so turned my head this morning that forgot to take one with me, for which shall kiss the sweet face of my own thousand times when I come home. In two hours. and twenty minutes 1t will be twelve o'clock and then I can come to my beautiful rose. I long to fly to you A thousand kisses send thee, my fairy wife 'Yours tenderly.
 GAk ''JoHN."
 She sighed, gave the boy the handler chief, and sighed again.-Danb,tyy Neus. 1 A conductor on an eastern road was ap- preached by a seedy:iooking individual, who wanted to get free ride, as he didn't have any money. '''All right" said the conductor;; Ego forward into the smoking car, and I'll fix you all right" Soon af- terward the conductor appeared Tn the smoking-car to collect fare from the pass. engers. He took fare from every one ex- cept the dead beat and another man, who happened to be the superintendent of the road. The superintendent noticed that he had overlooked this man, and asked him why he had done it. -..Why. that's a conductor. was the reyly. "His appear ance does not indicate it. Look at his clothes. said the superintendent. "Well, |" said the conductor, ''he can't help. that. He's conductor on a western road, and he IS one of those vassals who are trying to hve within their salary, and that's what he has come to" This was satisfactory to the superintendent, and the man obtained his ride without furthur inquiry