The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1877-03-15
WHOLE NO. 1852.
Miscellaneous
Strong Bu,,er-Ab b,lly goat

I ~ - ike rtver-Ereatcnt AZ the mouth.
A fur Cape-The Cape Of Good Hope.
y. B-This i fur fetched
A late book l. entitled "Haif Hours
with insects. What lively bali hour
one can have with q beei
An Irish lover remarks. "Irs a very
I great pleasure 20 b. alone. especially
when yer sweetheart is wid yer
We are told of grass IN Colorado that
isso short you must lasher Il before you
can NOV.
Meath d,owsy drono Of pulpit tone
some listeners close their peppers. but
ia very proper thing for laymen 70 be
sleepsrs.
A man out West ia 40 bouiefged that
his tailor IA obliged 10 uaa q circular saw
IN cutting out bic pantaloona.
Ia is estimated that the number Of IA.
dies who cannot pass q mirror without
Elancing into it averages about twelve 10
every dozen.
How one thing brings up anolhorr'
said lady. absorbed ia pleasing retro
spection. Eyes" replied the practical
Dobbs, "an emetic, Tor lnatance."
PUxcn n.-"IIusband-I say Lizzie. What
on earth did you make this mint sauce or
Young Wife (who has been helping
cook-Parsley. 20 be suref
Dr. darlington being told a story said,
Since you were an eye witness I am
bound TO believe "a; bot ! would not be-
lirve u q had seen it myself"
Can you sec me. deareatT' said a Chi
cago man 10 bis dying wife TELL me,
can you zee meF NO" sho fainly
whispered. but I can smell your breath
Il was an Irish gentleman who said
that be admired Homer because reading
the Iliad was like Jumping out Of a sec
ond door window right into the middle
Of divil Of row"
A college professor. who was giving
course Of lectures on Egyptian antiqui.
ties. said TO his class. This morainR,
young gentlemen. ] have . very dry sub.
jet. u 10 the mummy"
Are you Christian7T asked one Of
Mr. Moodys assistants al an inquiry
meeting. of hard looking customer who
had taken n front seat NO" be an.
s.sered, sadly. I'm a plumber" II was
a hopeless case
When n man u treating a dashinE
widow TO oysters. and sees bic wife com.
ing into the restaurant. about all he can
do is TO button hi- coat. and hang 10 his
chair. aud trust Providence.
Little Susie. looking al some pictures
- winged angels. exclaimed Mamma,
I dont want TO BE- an angel" why
not. drarT' "iiumph Leave OF al my
pretty clothes. aud wear iedders like
henf
They must have a very feeble oonali.
tuition IN Congress" said Mra Parting.
ton. "if they haven't power enough
among 'sm % count few votes. Why.
lease would do u la eve minutes BY sim.
pie admonition."
When a young man encirelca hia part
ner's waisi for dance be will do wisely
20 keep his fingers still Nothing AZ.
Eravaies young lady more than 10 I'm.
HFine you are trying 10 count tho whale.
bones in her dress
A Newark husband who. when DO
couried his wife. was constantly sirhiuE
Tor the Sweet hyeand bye docsnt
mink 40 much of u nos that Il has at
tained lie complains that "a has been
buy and boy until he is about disgusisd.
A little girl who was cent for some in.
diro. forgetting the name, asked the
grocer. Please. sir. what do people dye
With 2 why. with the eholcra. some.
times Then" faid the child. mother
wants twenty Eve cents worth Of ehol.
csa"
There had been discussion about the
eost Of dress and shc was urathy. "1fs
al very veil. shc poutrd. FOR you %
expect a woman 20 be nn angel but I'D
have you 10 know. CIR. that wouldn't bc
even an angel uniess my wings could Be
eut gorins There. nowr'
Ancient Mariner (to bis younFent)-
Well. n you liaca the Rirl why don't
you SO and tell her 80 'Enery. I mind
the time-id married your mother-ah.
aud done my six months for whoppin'
her too-lonr afofo ! was your age bot
Tor there ain't no spcrit IN youth nova
daysf'
A modest young lady desiring leg Of
chicken AZ the table. said' "i'ii take the
part which ought 10 bc dressed In draw.
rrs A young gentleman opposite i'm.
medintrly said: "i'll take the part
which ourb; 10 wear a bustief" Harts.
horn was Immediately administered 10
the lady.
MY boy" said olemn.visaged Evan.
eelist 20 a lad who had just emerged
from hair pulling match with another
boy. do you expect 20 rove hereafter IN
a lnud Of pure delirhtT' No" snid tho
lsd. "Ivc bursted another button of-n
my trousers, and ] expects 10 set licked
for It.
II was at party. and another fellow
bad marched off triumphAntly with bis
Firl. That's the way said be- sadly;
"lt i.n't merit that wins In this world.
rs brass watch chains aud paste diA.
mnuds and dyed mustachss And be
swallowed down bis Adams apple fully
three times before it would stay, such
was his grief
policeman saw a boy leading big
log aroand aud believing the dog 10
have bsyn stolen. be- asked. Boy, where
did you rrt that dosT TO home" was
the prumpt reply How long have you
hld himY' -. ever 90 long you
didn't pick him up unywherrT' "No,
.ir, wr raissd him from a littlc childf
Was The grave answer.
Indignant boardcr 90 his landlady:
" Msdam. if YOU expect four buekwhcAt
cakes 20 go into I've persons and leave
any remainder allow me 10 say that you
rts decidedly out In your arithmetical
calculations. fof they won't do a. III
trouble you Tor that plate Of hot ones
you ~ got concraird behind the sugar
howl lie got 'cm.