The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1877-02-23
ssSORTS.''

Inc Eastern IlatifOa0S are teetlnR I
their iron bridges. So Is Jack Frost.
It is not good for man to be alone.
he should buy dog. $50
The Boston Post thinks that sky.
blue coffins striped with red would be
far prettier than cremation.
"Neyer make q fool of yourself"
was one of the COMMODORE maxims,
and yet at sixty be married girl OF
twenty.
When good lake schooner can be
bid in at auction tor $1,000, all any
editor wants to enjoy summer trip is
s3 900 TO buy it with.
The Boston Globe has dispensed
with the hyphen in Tomorrow. This is
running the day together as old wo-
men string dried apples.
The New York HeraL1 would mix
charcoal dust with the soil. and thus
produce black lustre on red roses.
Down in Southern Indiana they mix
lime-water and the decoc.ion Tits tie
happy drinker right over fences.
Art is pushing right ahead; they
can now weave cat into parlor rug
SO naturally that one feels like tossing
her hunk of boarding house beef.
Vermont has caught the wrestling
mania, and stage drivers get down off
their seats and have it ont on the high
way, while passengers lose and win.
If as reported. Brick Pomeroy has
married bis proof reader, the lady viii
have abundant opportunity TO make
! corrections.
English papers have remedy tor in-
thousands of men sober. who would
otherwise have had their sprees.
Tony Pastor has been given badge
of the Order OF the Elks by member ot
his company. THIS was IN recognition
of bis noose- ical abilities.
Gen. Leslie Coombs, of Kentucky,
has recen ently married a woman eighty
five years cd and probably without tho
consent of her parents.
| The great question at present is,
whether it il better to carry two pounds
of dried apples or a ten cent bar Of soap
to the annual donation at the Minister'S
house.
Chinese babies never howl. One -oi
them can be lel. alone for twelve hours
aud he never moves off his back. He
reasons that lie is left alone for good
cause, and the situation is humbly ac.
cepted.
A sad looking man with an. air of q
Had-been, stopped at . grocery yester.
day and bought goldfish, remarkiue
that llc always was very fond of game
and had to have it, even if it was 'ex
pensiYe.
Adam and Eve, We suppose, were the
They did it to keep up with the fash
ion.
How strange that in the Charleston
races all the fast horses should have
been beaten by jockey who, like Ba
laam, had only an Asteroid.~
Mrs. Var Cott always finds seat Il
a crowded car The man who sees he
preparing to sit down Oh him slips ou
in hurry.
Captaiu-General Campos telegraph
that the Cuban insurrection will be snl
pressed by May, when he will return
Spain.
Despite all official deaials, disturbaI
!, ces are feared in Cons tantInople. Trooi
l are confined to their barracks and nun
hers of the young Turkish party ha,
!, been imprisoned.
, Il appears from recent exploration
, and surveys that the work Of tnrnii
the Atlantic ocean into the Great DE
sert of A:Tic., IL pot 30 formidable f;
: undertaking a. was at fiTst suPpose
: II IN only necessary 60 cut cham
: through bas about 500 yards wid
l- The lie, el of the dessert immediately
:. hind this obstruction il some $50 fe
below the sea level, which will give
y pretty fair depth OF water over viii
to steam into the fertile heart Of Airi.