Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1877-08-02
Anmarul1s 4epartmeut.
JONES vs.. BROWN.

JONES vs.. BROWN.
Mrs. Jones was standing in her backyard
feeding the chickens, when Stonewall jackson
came running in, crying as though his heart
would break, and told her that Bill Brown
had slapped him for nothing. Mrs. Jones
never said word, but she grit her teeth hard,
and went into the house to cut cabbage, and
chopped it so fine, thinking it was Bill Browns
head, that you might have sifted it through a
cobweb. While Jones sat eating his dinner
that evening, Mrs. Jones told him of the out
rage that had been committed, and asked him
what he vas going to do about it. Jones
pondered. Bill Brown was fully twenty-one
years old, a shining light in the fire depart.
ment, pitcher in baseball club, and had
the general reputation among experts of being
a "good man."
After considering these things carefully,
Jones came to the conclusion that the best
course to pursue was "to treat Brown with 81
lent contempt" and 80 he told his wife, adding,
by way of parenthesis, my dear, such cattle
are beneath our notice."
call right, MI. JONES'" said Mrs, j., "if
you're not man enough to protect your family,
thank God I've got brother" and she
swept from the room with look that Jones
knew only too we'll. He had seen that look
on his wife's face once before, when he brought
friend home to dinner on washing.day, and
he knew it meant war. There was no help
for it; it flashed upon Jones with the swift
ness of lightning there would be no peace in
the Jones family until the insult of the morn.
ing had been wiped out with blood.
Thok psnh fha hou oil in q
neighboring beer saloon, and its genial pro.
prietor was telling them what he would do if
he got the nomination for alderman. This
gentleman, whom we will call Mike, because
that was not his name, was an ex-prize.fghter,
could barely write his name, and was in many
other respects especially qualified for an al
derman. He kept good beer, and offered it
with that lavish liberality and recklessness of
expenditure for which Vicksburg candidates
are famous Jones came in, took his prorata
of beer, and sat himself down to mediate up
on the Brown affair." At last a happy idea
seemed to strike him !; he called for another
"shoo-hy" and rubbed his hands and slapped
his knees in gleeful anticipation.
At last he said to Mike, with a careless air,
"Mike, is Bill Brown one of your support
ers?"
"You can just bet your mucky muck on
that" says Mike; there's boy do stand
solid with"
"Thats strange" said Jones.
whats strange" said Mike, with that
uneasy, suspicious air so common among can
didates.
20, nothing" said Jones, nysteriously; II
don't think T onoht In tell "
"Jones," said Mike, solemnly, eff you're a
friend of mine, you'll tell.''
"Well, WILL" said Jones "but you must
keep it confidential"
"Allr right; go ahead" said Mike, very anx-
iously.
"Well," said Jones, I just came from the
Centennial bar-room, and heard Brown say
that you didn't know your head from shot
guu; that he caught you, one day, reading a
newspaper upside down !; that he'd sooner vote
for the lowest down niger in the ward than
vote for you, and that if you were elected, city
scrip would 60 down to five cents on the dol
lar, and taxes 60 up so high you couldn't
reach them with balloon"
Mike put on bis hat and coat, and made a
bee line for the Centennial bar.room.
Jones went home and sat down on the front
gallery, smoking his cigar with that peace of
mind which only one can know whose bosom
is distended with the proud consciousness of
having done good action.
About half an hour afterward he said to
his wife, who was sitting inside:
"Mrs. j., don't think Bill Brown will hit
our boy any more"
"Why"
"Come and see"
Mrs. Jones stepped to the window and
looked out. They were bringing Brown home
on shutter, with both of his eyes bunged up,
and his nose dripping blood at every pore.
Mrs. Jones turned to her husband, and said :
Darling can you forgive me2"
Jones drew himself up haughtily, and re.
piled, with whitening sarcasm, "Mrs. Jones, I
don't think I'm able to protect this family
you had better send for your brother"
Mrs. j. was crushed.