The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1877-02-08

at his house q short time after the
twins were born, overheard the fol-
lowing conversation between the fond
parents one night after all hands had
retired. He was in the adjoining
room:
Mrs. B.-What shall we call the
twins, Henry, dear?
B.-O, dunno. Almost any good
names. How would Moses and Aaron
do? or Caine and Able?
Mrs. B.-You ought to be ashamed
of yourself to want to name one of
your own children after a murderer
You might have hunted the whole
Bible through without finding any
thing worse!
B.-O, well, call them Shsdrach,
Meshach and Abednego then.
Mrs. B B-You know very well that
there are only two twins, and that
they cannot have three names equally
between them. hate scripture names
anyhow. l want to call them after
some distinguished men.
B.-Well, name one of them Butler
and the other Schurz.
Mrs. Bid rather die on the spot
than have a child of mine named after
an undergarment.
B.-How1l Bismark and Gutchakof
suit you?
Mrs. B.-Butterwick, you know l
can't abide those German names. Y on
would infiict curse on your innocent
boy if you would send him through
the world with such name as Bis
mark Butterwick. You know very
we'll you would. l prefer an Ameri-
can name. One that belongs to this
country.
Every well, then call one of them
Spotted Tail and the other IIole-in-
the-day. Those are indigenous to this
continent.
Mrs. B-Mr. Butterwick, il you are
going to turn the subject into ridicule
| will get up and dress myself, and go
down stairs. You shant insult me to
my face, anyhow. You know very
well 1 meant some white American
name
B.-How would Smith and Jones
answer, my dear2
Mrs. BID rather bury both of
them in one grave. Why don't yon
suggest distinguished American
names?
DO, all right; there's Benedict
Arnold and Martin Van Buren,,
Mrs. B-They. shall never have
those names with my consent.
B.-How about Adams?
Mrs. B.-That's only one name and
you know there are two babies.
B-Well, call the one "a and the
other Dams
Mrs. B.-Mr. Bntterwick, if you use
language like that again I'll go home
to my mother this very night.
B.-Well, then, if you must have the
names of celebrated Americans, call
one 'Tilly SlowbOy' and the other
'Toodles.'
Mrs. .B-Were they prominent men ?
don't remember hearing about them
before.
B.-Why, my dear, they both signed
the Declaration of Independence, and
SIowboy was Vice President under
Washington. If YOU want straight
out revolutionary patriots, these are
your men.
Mrs. B.-What did Mr.. Toodles do !?
B.-Loui.a; am surprised at your
ignorance! Don't you know that
he commanded the army at Valley
Forge?
Mrs. B.-I don't think much of
them names, anyhow. Say over some
others.
B.-Lemms see. Well, there is
NJ ,phistopheles, and
Mrs. B-What did you say he did ?
B.-Did? Why, he commanded the
U. S. frigate Constitution in the war
of 1872, and he was killed while nail
ing the American flag TO the mast.
Mrs. B.-And you want me to name
one of your children after him.?
B.-Certainly. Why not? Noble
old patriot! Did he not die in de-
fense OF Why, Louisa, what are
yon going to do?
Mrs. B.-Why, I'm going TO quit
this house and take the twins with ME
and stay away forever. I know just
as well as you do that Mephisiopheles
is another name for devil. I've seen
him at the opera. 1t is perfectly in
famous for you to suggest name like
that for your own flesh and b ood, l
don't believe in your Siowboys or
Toodlcs either. I'm certain that You
have been telling scapdalous stories,
and now Pm going TO leave.
Then Butierwick was heard TO use
persuasive tones with Mrs e., and
finally she made it up with him. The
twins eventually were baptised John
and Henry.
ANOTHER A0UARI,N WHALE DIES
"The whale is dead" At about
hali-past S o'clock on Satur lay eve