The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1877-02-28
Messy Creek Rinn1es.
Messy CREEK, TENN. Feb. %, ~.
TO the Editor nftla Aforrfatous.,, co.os.s..-st

To the Editor ofthe Morristown Gazette:
/ am "more in sorrow than in anger
since have quite a disagreeable duty
to perform" and I ask your forbear-
ance. 4 think it a fact established be-
yond a successful contradiction that
SANDY has been guilty of Asterophenaa
and has factitiously besmearcd that neo-
logical trait with puppet cyntcasterisns by
showing himself utterly incapable of
writing a single paragraph without tell
ing a falsehood But, since it always
nettles liar to have the truth told on
him, and lest he should wax indignant,
get up his back and bristles and want a
dOg-matic fight, I'll not accuse Sandy of
lying, although could with Just propri-
ETY.. I'll just embrace this splendid op-
portunity of saying that he niggardly
used truth with penurious frugality
when he openly declares he saw commu-
nicatiOns in the GAZETTE signed psalm
Phrame." If he viii show such a com
munication signed, I'll give him check
for S., 600 on ''Scott's Bank" Messy
Greek, Tenn; huff sed. :" So, ''Sandy,"
Damascus Blade" Sweetheart" and
the rest of my cynicasters may stink
"oph, P" with their tails properly disposed
to yelp in unison.
On Tuesday evening, as Mr. Frank
Speck, a collegian, was vending his
way to church, he was fired at by a pair
Of ms 4
fortunately, no flesh wounds were eff.
fected- And when look at those four
bullet holes in Franks over-coat ]
''Speck" he will give the assaulting party
a suitable recommendation to be initia.
ted into the well known firm of 'Hell,
West 6 Crooked" on first sight He re-
cognized one of the party, and predict
a sad compliment to be returned. The
attack of the war-lixe moguis was Ger
tainly cOwardly one. Mr. Speck is q
quiet, peaceable young man, and for the
cOwardly assault we cannot account, IN,
less it be that he was mistaken for some
oIfe else on whom the bushwhackers
wished to visit perhaps" he
was mistaken for Sam Slick, as you
know photographers and localists" are
horror to be regarded with destation
among ignoramuses.
Say, if Tilden is not elected, who
wants to swap dcg-knife for the whole
United States ? If Hayes be counted in
he viii be a chad egg" layed by a Re-
turning Board hen.
Last Thursday, one 'of.our macronis
launched his little conjugal bark out on
the billowy ocean of matrimonial bliss,
with Miss Anna Peck Mr.. McElveen
and his beautiful bride will "spend" the
honeymoon in Atlanta Still the con
nubial fever RACES, and the unsuspect-
ing youth knoweth not upon whose
lapel the satin favor may next fasten its
fangs.
Col. Ben. Branner started to Macon,
Ga, yesterday, with a car load of horses.
The selection was of the finest stock and
will no doubt demand the "green-bax, u
big pile
I am informed by Capt. Chas. Peck,
that he is contemplating revival of the
Messy Greek Independent. This is a step
in the right direction @ Every county
ought to have a newspaper published
within its limits ~ and if the denizens
should be as quiXOtic and generous in
supporting the one as in the preterit.
Sn'ne- tyro in journalism ought to, by ali
means, institute another one in proxim-
ity II the first, so that either editor won't
get too pusse-proud. It's paying bus
mess. Oaly short time is required to
arnass fortune in the newspaper busi-
ness. Look at the Harpers, Bennett of
the Nertkt, WINS of the Post, Helms
Of the GAZETTE, and Frame of the OIic I
Look at me ! before | started into the
newspaper business was as ''poor as a
church mouse" Now look at me! Why
don't intend to leave more than $780,
900, 600, OO0, 900, to be contested over by
relatives after my obitll
A Messy Greek genius has invented a
glass eye that won't water when the
voice Of mother in-law is heard in the
entre-way. Useful invention, it is.
| CHANGED to take an ogle view of the
last issue of the Jonesboro Times, my at
tentlon being summoned by its appear
ance of hieroglyphics on an Egyptian
tombstone. Really it looked like it had
been printed on a cotton press with the
butt of shoe-pegs for type. With wo-
man-like curiosity | ran half-mile to get
dOuble-lens telescope, directed the
tube on the smutty editorial, and de-
ciphered the following Come, now,
Morristown GAZETTE what arithmetic
do you figure from to get house '30x60
feet divided into four rooms thirty feet
square each'?" Then l dislodged my
magnifying glass in utter obfuscation,
wondering where the erudite Times OBJ
tanned the soul-thrilling intelligence that
a house of any dimension whatever
could be got by figuring in an arith-
metic." Esce h0M0 HeHttarum aterdruBJ :
SAM SLICK.