Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1877-07-28

THIS is the latest form of wedding in.
vitations "Come around and see me
capture a mother.in-law at 8 O'Clock
sharp"
A business man in Trenton, N. j.,
saws that the women of that city own all
the real estate, and the husbands do all
the running in debt and beating their
bills He announces thst he will not
trust any husband without a written
order from his wife.
LITTLE BoY-"Please want the doctor
to come and see mother. Servant
" Doctors out. Where do YOU come
from2 Little boy" What Don't you
know me? Why, we deal with you. We
had baby from here last week .--London
Fun.
THESE new fifty dollar gold coins are
too heavy to carry around conveniently.
When a fellow has forty or fifty of them
stuck around over his person, he feels as
soggy as an ammunition wagon, or like
truth crushed to earth. Help us green.
backs, or We sink !-Brunswick NsWs.
ONLY three persons have life-passes on
the Hudson River raiload. One Is
John B. Jervis, the first engineer of the
road another is his wife, and the third Is
Gov. Kimball, of West Point. The
passes are made of solid silver, on which
is engraved the name of the holder, date
when given, and occupation.
WORLDLY WIsE.-First mother Of
daughters: Have you called on the
Cholmondely Joneses yet ?" Second
ditto Yes, | heard they were going
to give ball, and so called last Satur-
day." First ditto (in tone ofsuperiori-
ty): "Ah! heard that the ball was
not coming off, and so didn't'-Punch.
A RECENT writer upon acoustics says:
" Sound, from physical point of view,
NAV be defined as vibration appreciable
to the ear. Its highest limit is variable,
owing to physiological differences be-
tween different ears but $4,000 single or
SO 800 double vibrations per second
probably represent the highest note ever
heard"
In New Hampshire it is only murder
in the second degree for man to kill his
wife by whipping her with whipstock,
beating her with an ox-goad and pound
ing her with a heavy walnut cane. Such
at least was the verdict in the Kimball
case, which has just been tried. The
only extenuating circumstances shown
were that it took the murderer three
hours to complete his task, and that he
was compelled to chase his victim all
over the house. Had he killed her with
one weapon at a single blow he would
probably have been convicted of murder
in the first degree.
WHEN that cultivated and intellectual
middle-aged person, Miss Mary Ann
Maxon, OF Cambridge, Mass, had the
collar of her offensive little poodle in
scribed "Pm Mary Ann Maxon's dog;
whose dog are you?" she thought it was
rather a clever Joke on the casual citizen
who might encounter the pup and in
vestigate his reason of being. She was
of that mind for several days. But one
morning the poodle bowling as though
he was carrying all parts of Sirius in the
chorus of the morning stars, and sudden,
as if fired out OF a gun, shot intO the
Maxon presence, with his tail tucked
very close, and business card tied on TO
his collar. Divining that some one had
set this poodle up in the carrier-dove
business, Miss Maxon seized the missive
and read "Turpentine is what ails me
what ails you?"
The following is from a Turkish major
general: "The battle was very fierce
and lasted for three hours, and glory to
God, five of the enemy were killed" An
admiral, in announcing the loss of an
iron.clad, says: "The steam launches
approached to within short distance, and
may God preserve the remaining ships of
our fleet. At this time the imperial
iron clad called the Sword of the Lord
received blow from a torpedo Of the fish
kind, which preceded from the steam
launch, and it exercised such aninhuence
on her stern that she sank, and, thanks
to the Most High, all the officers and
crew escaped. This sad occurrence was
doubtless necessity to the great God,
and, as is well known, He always gives
victory after such defeat" A fight in
the Caucasus is thus reported; We had
ten martyrs and twelve wounded, which
we cannot but ascribe to the spiritual aid
of the prophet and to the favor shown by