The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-11-06

I. Pennington Ts~ss: S,il.on Hnschins.
Of Miss mri, is in Washington.
Of Missouri. How long does i, take to
transform n sarline into whale? Some
cnterpri-ins journalist will next announce
the arrival Of Gen. VIM. Ryder. oi the
United States, in Jefferson City.
An official ch;ropOdist supervi-es the
feet oi the New York police. lie Use. a
horse To get around conveniently.-ES.
ckns2~.
Ii would le morc professional Ia do it
afooi.
/ VERSAILLES fa-.n.: November ~ has
been set apart By the President As day OF
Thanksgiving and prayer.
That's mistake. It's lsen sci apart Tor
turkeys.
The welding OF Dick Sylvester and his
Colorado angel has been set ior Christina,
Eve.
State J.sraoi: Some miiiiif;o,S gentlemen
81 Sc. Louis have petitioned t;ov. Phelps
la he put On a war footing. In other words
! they want the militia Law enioIced.
The organization Of the mili;is will be =
feather in the cap Of somebody.
-GscJs. IsaOerof: Gail Hamilton wears
; very tight c"rseis, AMI sometimes. a she
locks ont al the window dreamiuliy nj the
iull noon, she turns smilingly around to
Z = a. l..
hut Ter bn"v resumes iis rigidiiy "a she
perceivea il Is nothing but the phantom oi
her hope-.
/ This ia wasting sweetness an the Gail.
The phantom, Of that Hamilton Woman
hopes ia something more substantial than y
corset.
Cincinnati Con.,s.risi: \ Scotch pa
lar relates how Gen. Grant los, thumb
and finger at the battle 81 Michigan. Oi
course il means Zach. Chandler, who met
the surgeon ut that battle, snd invited him
tn take three fingers.
! Reading III such occurrences n ,hese are
likely To put man OH, 81 spirits.
: Temperance Esaasr: Why do men in
bad health drink whisky,
I Why, because there's 80 much holy Ia
IL.
Z When girl can make match safe
AMI du.t the piano. she thinks Il Is about
time 10 look tor beau.-E.
TIE beau generally Comes, TOTO grief.
however.
-t'iica Il.raki: When people ask Cor
don IL. t;id,iinss, a one-leggel commercial
! traveller, hos he lost his leg, ne generally
replies, Lost il on election" and that satis-
lies the most curious.
t;iddings seems to have got On new
tack n he used q take pride in iniormi ng
his friends that il vas "bit,en of by .
cow.'-EocAcsser faioa.
The last time he was in Rome he said he
! lost his leg through hole in his pantaloons
Dcckct-Ro~s Sssir,'.
On the contrary, he has frequently said
that when he Lost It he was going on the
stump.-N. y. H,uid.
What he really did say WA that he
wanted To zee the boot on the other leg
CoHnicT-JcM~ai.
The real trouble occurred one Christmas
eve. when he gnt oh his legs AMI never
found bat one al ihem.-N. Loais 7Tases..
AL mistake. The fact is, he got oil on
the wrong foot. and the RICH, never caught
up.
--"Loni Byron" the premium thorough.
bred, who presids- over the Castoi Thought
column in the Kansas City TInes, "a tine
portrait Of whom y recently Published in
that paper Is chiefly remarkable for his
hooking proclivities. lie is the only
original bull connected with the Missouri
press.
-BrsyRoDY Yes, Barret's trouble was
caused by make bite lie hsd 'em in his
boots. Switzler il the Oldest editor ON the
American suiinent.-MarSkaH Dsmaen1.
The foregoing purports to be an answer
to correspondent. and no doubt Dave Day
thought he vas telling the truth when he
wrote il. lie has grown ~ accusiome,l to
having snakes in his boots. that he inno-
Gently imaSines that everybody else has
similar visions. When over here in Soda
liza few weeks ago, he mistsok eoekroach
Tor the devil, and madly attempted to
jump out Of third story window. He
was only restrained by throwing salt on his
tail-a package Of which is always kept in
4 IL
malady.
THE DUNCAN FLETCHER
TRAGEDY.