The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1877-12-22
PASSING SMILES.

wasn't. lie blew his hand to pieces
and the ball lodged in the neck of the
other party.
Two writers Theatrical critics Of
course) were quarreling. "Your articles
are the laughing stock of the town. =
1.-THE time will come when yours will
be- "WhenW "When somebody
reads them.'
New YORK Herald: Every woman
who marries should have some idea Of
cookery, but the truth is that nine in
ten who marry can not tell whether
icicles should be cooked with their jack
cts on or off
WORCESTER Press: Woman consumes
thirty-six buttons on her single pair of
kid gloves; whereas man buttons his
suspender with single nail. And yet
folks will ask, Button, button--who's
got the button?"
WHAT is this feeling of vague un-
easiness--this haunting something that
restlcssly pervades my breastg' tragic
ally inquiries the New York Ledge.
heroine. We know what it is; it's
dyspepsia, says the New York Comic
dduertiser
THE DIFFERENCE.
luckless wight, from dungeon Crate
peered forth. Hisgaooe all hope had aed.
| lie sighed aud cursed his wretched fate,
| Said he, ~ stole loaf Of bread"
A wealthy man went riding by,
| With coachnan, fooiman, aud postion--
merry twinkle In his eye,
| Aha" quoth he, " | stole Million"
= Geo l.. Catia In N. y Weekly.
Mr.. WATTERsoN's paper says, editori-
ally: A Western paper tells us that
the Indian name for editor is Wo-rack-
ta-chc-rish- which means, Old
Man Who Wears Out the Basement-of-
| his Pantaloons. Then the name Of an
editors wife must be, d-Woman-who-
| half solcs-W o-rack tn che rish-ha-ha-
Interpretations" This is Kentucky
humor.
BEGIN the education of the heart not
with the cultivation Of noble propensi-
ties, but with the cutting away of those
that are evil. When once the noxious
herbs are withered and rooted out, then
the more noble plants, strong in them
selves, will shoot upward. The virtues,
like the body, become strong and healthy
more by labor than by nourishnlent.--
Richter.
Ir was Benjamin Franklin who re-
marked, "Avoid all arguments at home."
When Mrs. Franklin asked BENJAMIN to
go out in the yard and split an armful
of kindling wood, instead OF entering in
to controversy over the matter he would
put on his hat and go down town to see
man. Thousands of husbands Of to-
day avoid arguments at home by ADOPT
ing the same method.
A GIRL of sixteen, at Manchester,
Cape Ann, while on the way to church
last Sunday, was passing through a
piece of woods, when q tramp came up
and Selling her threw her to the ground
when she struck him over the head with
a Bible she held in her hand with such
effect that he was glad to let her alone.
That was a use of the Scriptures to
which no one but tramp would object.
PENNYRoYAL.
Heavy with cares no winnowing hand could sift,
Wrapt In sadness never to be told,
As DER the fields and through the woods stTolleds
Following with restless footstep but the drift
OF the still August morn, so might shift
The scenery Of my thoughts, and gid their old
/ found the aromatic herb, whose swift
Associations bore me far away
To boyhood, when beneath an oak like this
l culled the fragrant leaves. Crude chDdhood's
Was in the scent; but brighter smiled the day
For memories now portion of the soul,
Safe from all later change and fatcs control.
C p. Crdnch.
A COMMITTEE has been formed in Hol-
land to send out in May of next year a
small but strong sailing vessel to the
west coast of Spitzbergen, with the view
of reaching the mouth of the Yenissei.
The objects of the expedition are to ex-'
plore the new commercial route to the
Siberian rivers, to train sailors who
might ultimately be intrusted with the
formation of scientific station, and to
erect few monuments to the memory
of the early Dutch Arctic navigators.
New YORK Graphic. Reckon that
air scales Of yourn is an Ambush scales,
amt itY said q countryman to his
grocer rs he took the sugar and handed
over the money. "Ambush scales, what
do you meanY' replied the merchant;
"whos Ambush r' "Ambush--why,
y'know-reg' lar Ambush-y understand
what Ambush means, don't yer
",Well, / should hope SO, Mr.. Woodruff
Ambush means hid-means somethin'
acknowledgements here's the die
tionary; I'll just read 10 yer exactly
what it means, so's't you needn't never
use it wrong after this-here tits: A.
am-ambush to lie in wait for"
Yes, that's it, squire; don't go no fur
ther-to lie in weight for two cents"
PERHAPS one of the most curious
wagcrs on record is one that was made
by two sporting men in January, 1927.
One of the above bet EGO TO f10 that of
the first thirty men who should pass a
shop in which they were to station
themselves, twenty would have at least
one hand in the breeches or coat pocket,
and that fifteen would have both hands
so placed. New street, Coyent Garden,
London, was selected for the place Of
scrutiny, as from its having an extremely
narrow footpath and being very public
thoroughfare, it would afford the best
example Of the inconvenience of this
prevalent custom. The result of tho
examination was that of the first thirty
men who passed, eighteen had both
hands in their pockets, and five others
had one hand SO situated, the proposer
OF the wager thus winning it easily.