Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1877-12-28
F. u N !!

and long suffering wife. Her husband, a
business man. en- State Street, was long
age suspected of being in love with some
one else and she resolved to end her sor-
rows and her life together. Writing an
affsctionate note of farewell to her erring
husband, and children, the wronged wife
deliberately went to the cupboard. and
from the upper shelf took down her phial
of corrosive Sublimat can article Will
which most families are provided tc
kill bedbugs- and, having ascertained, by
its label, that it was indeed that fatal
drug, she went to her bedroom, deliberate.
iy poured cut enough to kill half d dozen
persons, and swallowed it at a draught.
Then she lay down on the bed. The burn
ing of the corrosive poison IN her stomach
was dreadful and, in spite of her determ-
ined resolution, she lnvoluntarily began to
cry out. Her cries alarmed the household
and on going to her bedroom they found
her in strange condition. There were
broken calculations and the strangest ut
teranceS:
''Hic f'give you all; tel James f'give
him. He has done me great wrong. But
/ f'give him now, I f'give you ALL O, if I
had only known! hic 'um. Only known
(hic). If had only known how glorious
twas to die. would have died before. o
death, where is thy sting? Good bye, my
children. Good bye my hushbin'.'
At this point the erring husband entered
the room, exclaiming, ''What's all this 20
''Oh, she's taken poison! She's taken
corrosive sublimate," pointing to the bot
tie.
Corrosive sublimate! HI p irrever-
hntly exclaimed, the husband, ''that's not
corrosive sublimate that label I put on
the bottle to keep away the hired girl from
my $40 bandyE'
SENSIBLE ALMOST TO THE LAsT.-Mr.
and Mrs. Tom Mulcahy lived on a farm.
They were shrewd and thrifty, and had the
reputation of being ''close." Finally Mrs.
Mulcahy sickened and was about to die.
Finding herself nearing the end. she ex-
pressed desire to put things i'll order be-
fore that event occurred, and old Tom pre-
pared to listen.
''Tom,' says Mrs. Mulcahy, ''there's
Mrs. Smith, at the crossing, she owes me
81 50 for butter; see We get it,"
Sensible to the last. my dear; sensible
to the last,' said Tom. SIN get it,
s'1hen there's Mrs. Jones, up the creek,
she owes Inc $1.5O for chickens
"Ah! look at that, low, for moind;
she forgets nothing"
'sAnd MIS- Brown, in the village, she
owes me $3.50 for milk
''D'ye hear that? Sensible. to the last I!
60 on, my DEAR
"And-and-"
"Yis.7
And Mrs. Roberts, at the toll gate, l
owe herr
All! poor dear poor dear!'' broke in
old Tom hastily: chow her moind DOS be
wandering! Sure we've allowed her to talk
too much entirely, SO we have!''
Never marry man until you have seen
him eat. Let the candidate for your and
pass through the ordeal Of eating soft boiled
eggs. Ii he can do that and leave the
Widespread. the napkin and his shirt uil-
spotted-take INN. Try him next with a
spare-rib If he accomplislieS this fe..
Without putting out one of his eyes, Oh
pitching the bone into your lap-naMe TIT
wedding day at once, he wiliSo to tie to.
An editor who is getting particular
about what he eats, says: "The woman
who made the butter which We bought
la t week is respectfully requested to ex-
ercise more Judgement in p oportioning
the ingredients. The last batch had too
much hair in it for butter, and not quite
enough for waterfall. There is no
sense in making yourself bald-headed i.
butter is worth thirly-fve cents a poun !.
an AWFUL YARN.-The treasurer of
Bath county says he Saw bear coming
out Of Il neighbor's corn field, walking up
right, with d busllel OF shucke d corn i'll his
arms, and a forty-pound pumpkin on his
IL aa, and as he craWled over the fence lac
said he would come back and get wagon
load Of fodder to make his winter bed
Bath is evidently great country.
'"Will advertising pay?" is very old
question, which has always been answered
III the af1irmatige; but i'll these days Oh
freq uent assignments and deadbeats 1t is
often question in the newspaper office
-t,nt +, RI ri will
That gun you sold me buTsted the first
time fred it off, said all irate sportsman
TO MIR. Shoot "That's very strange. :"
said the latter. "It never did So before.
You must have been putting powder in
it,
Several exchanges are giving direct ions
How to dress" The most sensible way
is TO stay in bed till the fire is started, and
fhsl take your cloths under your arm and
trot out to the dining-room stove.
What constitutes marriage - asks the
Boston s'Advertizer.'' Getting down to
Que cigara day, i'll order to pour money
into the Golfers of the man who sells strip
ed Stockings.
Young Jenkins was bound to be aecu-
rate. and he thus described the Wonlan's
custume .sShe wore Il suit OF something
ar other. cut bias and trimmed endwlse."
Gentlemen's hats That last year brought
"A apiece can now be purchased for 81 so !;
whereas it still costs a woman from SIS to
sto go comparatively bareheaded.
If she doesn't invite you INTO the house
,.fte, having escorted her home, it isn't
-ro,th while to waste any more ice-cream
on bea-your case is hopeless.
Honesty is the best policy, but it keeps
a man very poor,'' said Greggs, the gr,csrs
while he wetted the sugar without putting