The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1877-06-28

! . Of layer quicker'6 wink, Is there Va.
danger Of being sun-atfuck-"
"WellY'
"Well, asked . ashoemaker what he'd
do, and he said If he had soarize he'l
swallow two bottles Of champagne, take
In all the free lunch saloons, beat tailol
out of- as good suit s0f el0thesy and thar
hold his head overfAs at lna dillon Of but
! ter-milk." !"
Continue your affecting narrative, Z
remarked the Court,
Well, / took some brandy, some beer,
some butter milk, some free lunch, some
-some-well, don't remember fell
down IN DOORWAY and was brought here.
h3S S12isIs' a s'gE 6 f1s ssia i E9yEkff f,s yas
~ f0rnsaAtI AgEk.to be AAdu6e.F1 -
He expected to be fined at least twenty
dollars. The audience expected he would
| 60 up for sixty days. His Honor looked
as fierce as an old Roman Senator and as
stern as the man who sells tickets from
the circus wagon, but he answered. in a
soft voice.
l.Mn Fox, this country depends upon
Its agricultural resources to tide it over
these dark days. The 'tater bug stalks
abroad in the land. Every, breeze from
the W6st bEiA Ags the l6hes0ne whixz of
the grasskeppcf II the crops fail we'll
~. 60 to The @Waliss You 60 home and
NOW and reap and rush around and tear
up the golden soil. and if your wife's eyes
DON'T improve pretty soon bring her into
the city some day and let her stand in the
whirlwind of dust around the City Hall.
Ihat's all, Mr.. Fox-please hurry out.''
MORE MERCY
George Hatfield and wife occupy
woodbine shanty in Poletown. They were
sweetly dreaming when the woman awoke
with start and q ,groan,S and informed
her husband that it was raining, and that
she had been busting the parlor sofa in
the back yard and left it out there. He
got up. His anger got up, too. He got
downstairs to find the sofa soaking wet,
and he hunted up the ak in the darkness,
and with nothing around him but an old
lambrequin, he chopped and hacked and
used up an article of furniture costing
fifteen dollars. The wife came down, and
1t was her voice and his actions which
alarmed the neighborhood and raised the
police.
Do you want your husband pun.
ished 7" asked the Court of the wife.
"I-I-that is" she stammered.
Because if you do you will be disap.
pointed. Do you think I'd get out of bed
at midnight to fall over chairs, rub nv
nose against doors and haul sofa in out
of the wet? Neverl I'd hang to that
bed like a dog to bone, and that sofa
might float to ConstantinopIe and back
for all of me. I've been reused up to
bring in clothes off the line, to chase cows
out of the garden and to put down win
dOws, but ! didn't rouse worth cent
You are the one to blame, Mrs. Hatfield. |
Your husband is discharged, and if you
have to sit on the table instead of sofa |
it's no ones fault but yours"
FATHERLY ADVICE.
A girl of twelve who was found roam
ing the streets at a late hour was brought |
1ut to be talked to. His Honor kindly |
,aid:
Child, it is not your fault that you are
here. Your father was down town, your
mother ggadding around, and the house
seemed lonely to you. I know scores of
mothers who are setting just such exam
,les for their daughters. Home is the
asst place to keep them. They neglect
heir children, neglect their homes and
orsake their husbands for the purpose of
,adding. They leave home as soon as
hey have swallowed a miserable break
asst, tramp the streets for hours, and 20
lome hating their own flesh and blood.
7 is the same with girls. They gad to the
library, to the stores, to the ferry boats
is, how can 1 blamsr from home. Why.
welve, whenI know of church members
a this city whose daughters are not home
wo hours day, and who are allowed to
walk the streets until two O'Clock in the
morning? There are q thousand homes in
his city made wretched for hard-working
and loving fathers because wives
nd mothers prefer the streets to their |
wn rooms. 1t won t be long before you
viii know all about fliFtations, your nose
will be poked into trashy novels, you'll
'e thinking of puppets dressed in green
ids ana lavender pants, and we'll,
ou may go home. don't like to talk Of
hese things. The coming generation,
Won't havesense enough nor money enough
0 run a two-cent peanut stand two weeks.
10 home, little girl Z sg nxg I'D,
And when she had E6ne, nd scourt stood9
djeufSe B6akA kAsdned agsihA tie walF
. aI'll n iI be hanged marry bsss
woman on earthl I'll adopea .Chinaman
o take care of my ranch a6dtlo my wash.
ng."-Detroft Free Press.