The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-04-12
PENCIL AND SCISSORS,

fENC4L AND SCkSSOhSs
WHERE to find eternal spring-In the
circus business.
No man can be provident of his time
who is not provident in the choice of his
HE who reigns within himself, and
rules his passions, desires, and fears, is
more than king.
ENVY is a passion so full of cowardice
and shame that nobody ever had the con-
fidence to own to it.
The spring style of the common hand
organ has only one stop. 1t begins in
the morning and stops at night.
Two sisters-twins- to be told
every thing together, because they are
so exactly alike they can't be told apart.
AFTER ponderlng for six years on the
query, Why do animals fear fre?" a
Southern professor answers, Because
fire is hot"
MOODY, speaking on the duty of
waking the sleepy fellows who slumber
in Church, says: " A hunch from the
elbow may save a soul"
The battle cries of the Turkish army
must be very enthusing. Think of a
General in bag trousers shouting along
the line: Remember Bjuna Djunee."
Anger in dispute is like an unquiet
horse in a dusty way-it raises such a
cloud in the eye of the understanding
that it obscures the vision and impedes
its operation.
STRENGTH for to-day is all that we need,
As there never will be tomorrow
For tomorrow will prove but another to-day,
With its measures of Joy and sorrow.
Then why forecast the trials of life
With such sad and grave persistence,
And watch and wait for a crowd of ills
That as yet has no existence.
ETERNITY, past and future, flashed
before my eyes," he said, "and 1 saw
where the crack of doom began and
ended" This was his experience the
first time baseball struck him in the
stomach.
"SALLY, what have you done with the
cream? These children cannot eat skim
milk for breakfast" 'sSure, ma'am, it
isn't mesilf that would be afther giving
the scum to yez. I TUX that and gave it
to the cats"
CHILDREN must have love inside the
house, and fresh air, and good play and
some good companionship outside-oth-
erwise young life runs the greatest dam
ger in the world of whitening or growing
stunted, or at best prematurely old and
turned inward ON itself.
A NEW feature has been introduced
into some of the country schools. When
one of the girls misses a word, the boy
who spells it gets kiss from her. Sew
eral girls are fast forgetting all theyever
knew about spelling, while the boys are
improving with unexampled rapidity.
GATHER up the fragments. In every
human life there are sure to be some.
Every one of us has a secret chamber
somewhere, filed with Inhabitants whom
none but himself can see it rests with
himself alone whether they shall be de-
caying corpses, or only beautiful ghosts.
YOUNG lady" 1t was a stylish din
ner!" Learned uncle" Stylish are
you using the word correctly? Do you
know the derivation of stylish?" Young
lady" Certainly, from sty, a pig-pea,
and ish, the noise made by the ho--
animals when eating" Learned uncle
in despair.
A LADY writer desires to be informed
"why there are no female tramps." She
refers to an accepted fact, that there are
more women than men in the country,
and cannot understand how it is all of
them manage to make living without
devastating the country. If any gentle
man feels like vindicating his sex, here's
chance.
IT was remarked by Cicero, when
speaking of the early period at which
children commence talking, that they
seem to recall language which they
had learned in another world. Provi-
dence appears to develop this precocious
intelligence in them, in order that these
tender and diminutive beings may make
early advances in knowledge, and COM
pensate by their drollery, their compan-
ionship and amusement, for the cares
and responsibilities infancy demands.