Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1877-12-22

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rO~ A Bioaje Beauty Attempts IN Hur-
rieily P.ss B~hiBd the Vail e fu.aTi:y -
The police papers have nothing finer than
that.
SULEINAN PAsHA wss formerly 4 soap
fat man in Baxter street, in this city, and
dined at the free ''soup-houses." lie
went to Turkey and registered an awful
oath that he would win fame and gold
The attention Of tramps should be ur.
gently invited to this. Turkey is the
place to go to grow up with the country.
-Grdphie.
The Chicago fire department has pet
cat which has never in its life attended q
feline concert, aud which, whenever an
alarm is sounded, seats itself Oh the dial
Of the telegraph instrument and there re-
mains until the tout" signal sounds. 1t
was kitten at the time of the great fire,
and came into the superintendent Office
a stranger, badly singed.
Mr.. HAYES can we'll afford to stay at
home now and attend to business. He
laid in sufficient supply of hurrah and
hubbub during his recent trip South to
last him for the rest of his term. If, on
his return to the White House, he did
not feel at leas. half foot taller than
whom he left it, he is not the sort Of
whole.souled hair-pin the President Of
these United States ought to be.
CLEoPATRA's Needle 10 now on its way
from Egypt to England, and is to be set
up in London. They say it won't look
we'll among the towers and steeples Of
great city-that it ought to stand in
sandy plain. Then they ought to carry
over about ten. acre section of African
desert for it to stand on. Half century
ago It would have been thought just
about Is easy to transport the section Of
desert IS the needle itself.
THE ablest lies always come from
France. For instance: "a dog in Sierk,
France, returned good for evil. His mas
ter, . peasant, attached . stone to his
neck and threw him into the Moselle.
The poor brute sank, but the cord broke
and he rose to the surface and made des-
perSt0 efforts to get into the boat. His
master pushed him repeatedly with an
oar, and at length stood up and endeav-
ored to strike him violent blow. In
the attempt the man fell into the water.
The dog swan to him and held him up
by the clothing until aid arrived"
IT may be set down as q well-estab.
lished fact now that there 10 nothing on
the face of the earth that will not explode.
You would naturally suppose that pen
holder could not be persuaded to explode
for either love nor money, but it can. Miss
Hattie Gould, Of Trenton, Ont, heated q
penholder over lamp not long ago, in
tending to frizz her beau catcbers with it,
but just as she thought shs. had gotten 1t
hot enough for the purpose, the tin bar
rel on the end of the wooden handle ex-
ploded, bursting into number of frag-
ments, and lacsrating her hand and face
feapfully. One Of the fragments struck
the lamp chimney. making ~ neat hole
in it a. . pistol-bsll could have done.
Moral for young ladies-Frizz your hair