The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1877-09-28

a The Terrors of Taxation.
Mr.. Slingsby, our assessor and tax &C
. lector, holds on, too. He is another mod
member of our civil force. The primo
pie characteristic of Mr.. Slingsby is e
thusiasm. He has an idea now tn.
whenever a man gets anything new
ought to be taxed, and he is always 0
hand to perform the service. | had abor
fifteen feet added to one of my chimney
last spring, and when it was don
Slingsby called and assessed it under tn
head of Improved Real Estate an
collected two per cent on it. A few day
later, while was standing by the fenc,
Slngsby came up and said
Beautiful deg you have there"
d" Yes, its a setter"
Indeed a setter? The tax on setter
is two dollars. III collect it now whiI
| have it on my mind"
l settled the obligation, and the mex
day Slingsby came around again. HI
I opened the conversation with the re-
mark
Billy Jones told me at the grocery
store that your terrier had pups"
90 Yes
\ large litter ?o
Four"
Indeed! Less see; tax is 81; four
times two is eight-yes, IS tax, please.
And hurry up, too, il you can, for they
have a new batch of kittens over at
Baldwin's and want to ketch old
Baldwin before he goes out. By the
way, when did you put the weather
cock on " ur new stabIe?'
" Yesterday"
" You don't say Well, hold on, then.
Four times two is eight, and four--on
the weathercock-is twelve. Twelve
dollars is the amount"
" What do you mean by 81 on the
weathercock? I never heard of such
thing"
Didn't hey? Why, she comes in
under the head of scientific apparatus
She's put up there to tell which way
the wind blows, amt she? Well, that is
scientific intelligence. and the apparatus
Mr.. Slingsbys this is the most alb
surb thing 1 ever heard Of You might
Just as well talk of taxing Butterwick's
twins"
Butter You don't mean to say
that Butterwick bas twins Why. GER
tainly they are taxable They come
under the head of poll tax Three
dollars apiece. III 60 right down there.
Glad you mentioned it."
They paid him, and he left with But
terwick's twins on his old memorandum
book
A day or two afterwards Slingsby
called to see me, and he said =
I've got a case that bothers me like
thunder You know Hough, the tobac-
conist? Well, he's Just bought wooden
Indian to stand in front of his store
Now, have strong feeling that
ought to tax that figure, but ] don't
know where to place it. Could it come
in as 'statuary Somehow that don't
seem exactly the thing. I was going to
assess it under the head of idols but
the idiots wko got up this law haven't
got a word in reference to idols. Think
of that, viii you? Why, we might have
paganism raging all over the country,
and we could't get a cent out of them.
I'd put up that Indian under craven
images only it amt mentioned either.
1 supposed l could tax the bundle of
wooden cigars in his hand as tobacco, but
that leaves out the rest of the figure
and he's not liable to poll tax, because
he can't even vote. Now, how would
it strike if levied on him as an emf
grant p He was made somewhere else
than here, and he came here from there
he's an immigrant. That's
my view. What do you think of it ?"
l advised him to try it upon that plan,
and the next morning SIingsby and Mr.
Hough had fight on the pavement in
front of the Indian because Mr.. Slingsby
tried to seize the immigrant for unpaid
taxes. Slingsby was taken home and
put to bed, and the business of collecting
was temporarily suspended. But Slingsby
will be around again soon with some new
and ingenious ideas that he has thought
Of during his illness --Moa1treoI Gazette.