The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-03-31
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
N Enormous Swell-A balloon.

3249S6AA<AH60O9 / \ 61ln0s
AN Enormous Swell-A balloon.
BLUE-GLAss hops" are the latest.
IF you don't bride your tongue, saddle
be your fate.
MATcHLEss Maid-The kitchen girl out
of lucifers.
WHATis the form of an escaped parrot?
A polly gone.
WHAT kind of robbery is not danger
Gus? A safe robbery, of course.
Mrs. HAYES wears her hair in a knot,
with high comb stuck in.
The pride of Grandview, Iowa, is a
girl of fourteen who weighs 200 pounds.
He who receives good turn should
never forget it; he who does one should
never remember it, CharrOn.
AN aged negro woman is pupil in
Boston infant school. She SAYS: Use
gwine to learn sunthin' afore die"
IT has been a profitable winter for the
Washington hotels, and several proprie-
tors have been able to lay up treasure in
banks.
AQUA pura and bread pills,
Physicians with outrageous bills,
Are cast adrift-turned out to grass;
The doctor now is sky-blue glass.
AMONG the contributions to the must
cal art furnished by the United States
during the year $40 were 20,000 pounds
of rosin.
| PARAsoLs are chosen to match the
color of the dress with which they are
worn, and are often of the same mate
rial.
81 GO through my work" as the needle
said to the idle boy. "But not until you
are pushed hard" as the idle boy said to
the needle.
"GoBANG" is the name of new parlor
game in England. Some boy goes and
bangs somebody or something and there's
heaps of fun.-F'ree Press.
Mrs. HASKELL has given such hearty
satisfaction as State Librarian of the
Legislature of Tennessee that she has
been reelected without opposition.
THOMAS NJ. BUTLER, of Fredonia, Ky,
has spring of water fifteen feet in diam
eter, whose bottom has never been
reached, although weights with ropes 800
feet long have been lowered into it.
As WE cannot tell good peanut until
we bite into it, so it is with life. You
can never know mans good qualities
until you strike him for dollar.--ON
City Derrick.
A SOUTHERN paper, speaking of pros
pective candidates for Town Constable,
heads its article: Who is the Great I'm
known" And it does not mean to be
funny, either.
AN Oshkosh man, who was married by
minister of that city, slipped in the
hands of the latter an envelope, which,
when opened, was found to contain TWEEN
ty-fve cents.
MOHAMMED and his grocer used to have
their little differences. One of the most
emphatic passages in the Koran pro-
claims "Woe unto those who give short
measure or weight"
TEACHER to little boy)-" Well, my
boy, do you know your tables?" Pupil
-" Yes, ma'am: breakfast table, dinner
table, and supper table" The boy goes
to the head of the holiday class.
"HE's grown to be polished gentle
man, anyway" said an old lady, gazing
fondly, as she spoke, at the shining bald
head of her son, just returned after a
long absence.
A MINISTER once quantity said :. that
he would desire no better fortune than to
buy most persons at their real value, and
then sell them again at the estimate
which they place on themselves"
THE Vermont Legislature has enacted
a law declaring any place where intoxi-
eating liquor is sold or given away as
beverage "a public nuisance" liable to
be summarily closed on conviction.
Mr.. WALTER, of the London Times,
says he was surprised at seeing so little
drunkenness in America. But it must
be remembered that he associated mostly
with newspaper men while in this
country.
TWENTY MINUTES in the smoke of
wool or wooden cloth will take the pain
out of the worst case of Inflammation
arising from any wound. No one need
die from lockjaw if this simple remedy
is resorted to,-EEchdRge.
"lT is a standing rule in my church"
said one New York clergyman to an
other, " for the sexton to wake up any
man that he sees asleep" 81 think"
replied the other, "that il would be
better for the sexton, whenever n man
goes to sleep under your preaching, to
wake you up"
SAID a fond mother at the table of
fashionable Chicago hotel, the other day:
"Do you know, my little son, that the
word menu is French for bill of fareg"
go yes, mamma" was the assuring re.
ply, "menu it!" The mother tainted
right there. She was afraid her boy
would grow up TO be paragraph editor.
| -ChicdgO Journal.
A CLERGYMAN recently announced from
his pulpit beneficiary visit of the ladies
of his congregation to an orphan asy-
lum. He unfortunately ended the an
nouncement with an apostrophe thus:
THE ladies will please take with them
their own Refreshments, so as not to eat
up the orphans"
THE latest at weddings is to have the
main aisle thickly strewn with flowers.
At the marriage of Mr. Milliken to Miss
I -. A. Al. 4