The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1877-01-13
BUBBLES.

-Tramps love yellow pantaloons-they
hide dirt.
-" l never did like mutton with capers,"
Brown said as he brushed his clothes after
an attack from a ram.
-Snoops says if you wish to recollect
mans name, go security for his house rent.
For keeping your memory fresh there is
nothing like this plan.
Sleeping can be courted by laying a
jug of hot water at your feeting on retir-
ing. Profanity can be courted considera-
bly, quicker if the cork to the jug comes
out.
The paragraphist of the future will
write as follows: "a strong wind came
through window and overturned Mrs.
Weeder's crematory jar yesterday forenoon,
and her husbands urnings were swept away
in twinkling.'
-"Ah, good morning, good morning,
sir; glad to see you. You have an article
on the political situation? That's right
SIR" coolly replied the editor of the Halch-
eye, "put it in the coal bucket. Good
morning, sir; be careful as you 60 out; the
stairway is very dark
DOCTOR" am pleased to say, Mrs
Fitzbrown, that shall be able to vaccin-
ate your baby from very healthy child of
your neighber Mrs. JONES' Mrs. Fitz-
brown-Oh, dear doctor, | could not per-
nit that We do not care to be mixed up
with the Joneses in any way"
After protesting vigorously against the
inhumanity which prompts some newspa-
per paragraphers to jest at the ignorance
which brings misery upon unfortunate peo-
pie, Bayard Taylor experienced playful
spasm in which he wrote the following:
One morning Miss Bridget O'Farrel
Sphlitted up a petroleum barrel;
Now" said she, "I'll have foine fire.
And surely she did,
For when they found Bid
She was baked like brick
Only drier.
"A smart Boston boy writes the follow
ing: "Fish lives in the Atlantic ocean,
Buzzards bay, and some in Charles river.
When they are small they are Goldfish, her
rim and SIGH; when they grow up they are
whales. Whales is very useful; they some
times swallows whole ship and all the
crew. The fat of whales is billed out and
made inter kerosene oil for gas-light. Their
bones is made inter whalebone for ivory
oil f,r hnr
handles for jack knives. | wish whale
would swaller my school and all the teach
ers. Fish is always eat Friday. | hate
fish; there is so many bones to pick out
when you eat 'em. l ruther eat paper of
pins fried in lard. A whale could lick all
the boys in the Harvard Grammar School.
Could lick thunder out of 'em aud make
'em sick, and don't forget it
Mullins is entirely bald, with the ex-
ception of single lock, which he combs
carefully over the side of his head. A short
time ago some young ladies asked him for
his photograph; and just for fun he had a
picture taken of the top of his head
About a week afterward he went past the
photographers place and noticed an i'm
mense crowd studying picture ia the
window. He looked in and found that
that disg listing artist had printed greatly
enlarged picture of his bald head, with the
black lock running around the edge, and
had labeled it ECLIPSE of the moon. The
phenomenon as it appeared at quarter past
eleven!' That picture was sent all over
the world, and it is now filed among the
archives of every scientific institution from
Hong Kong to Philadelphia.