The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1877-08-23
One of A. Wards Jokes.

During Artemus Wards sojourn in
London, which was, alas! too BRIEF in
troduccd him to very good fellow, a
great admircr Of his whimsical book, but
who was something Of tuft-hunter
withal. AS Lord Byron said of the poet
Tom Moore, che dearly loved a lord,' Or
any body tlourishing handle to his
name. My friend Weathcrwax--we will
so call him, for as good citizen and
rate-payer, and the father of large FAM
lily, must not disclose his real name
had charming house, brilliant draw
ing-room, and was fond of entertaining
artistic society. Artemus and he were
quickly sympathetic and became close
friends, but, with his characteristic pen
ctration, he was not long discovering
Weatherwax's penchant for swell ac-
quaintances. Calling with Artemus, one
afternoon, we were shown into the salon,
ane, while awaiting our host, we amused
: ourselves with looking over the visiting
cards in a huge china bowl. On the top
Of the pile was conspicuously placed the
card OF Lord CoWley. The careful posi-
ton Of the bit Of cardboard plainly indi-
Gated that it had not got there by chance.
The eye of the humorist twinkled, and in
II an instant he transferred the card to the
bottom Of the bowl, leaving plain Brown,
Jones, Robinson, as the case might be, at
the top in full view.
"Now," said Artemus, from time to
time as we come here, we will follow the
fortunes Of that card"
"Suppose we rob him of it right
out" said,. with malicious mildness,
"and break his heart forever and ever
Not bit Of it.; that will defeat my
purpose"
= Our host appeared; we had our inter
view, and departed. A few days passed,
and we called again. We were shown,
as usual, into the drawing room, and,
glancing at the bowl, found the card of
sCowley had been tished up from the bot
tom and restored to its old position as
head of the heap. On this day we dined,
and during the evening Artemus whisked
the card off the top of the bowl,
and said, by Jove, I'll secreee this
where he'll never find it, and while
Weatherwax had gone to look after the
ladies, he placed it between the leaves of
mammoth gilt-edged, gorgeously ill
animated family Bible.
"There, I've securely lodged it in the
book of Job," whispered Artemus; "now
Well see how long it abideth there.
don't think he troubles the sacred tome
very often"
A week or more passed before we saw
Weatherwax again. The card had been
found in the meantime, and proudly
beamed at us from its usual conspicuous
position. This time Artemus slipped it
under the carpet, and in so doing rather
soiled its pure enamelled surface.
GODS Bodkins, as they say in old Eng
lish, think it's found a secure resting
place at last He'll not see that surely
until the carpets are taken up or shaken.
My, Lord Cowley, sweet and tender
adieu"
It must have been month before our
next call, and we palpitated with curios-
ity as we approached the house. In a
few minutes we were bending over the
wcll-remembered china bowl, and to our
establishment there was not only the card
in its old place, but it had been carefully
cleaned, evidently with 1ndia-rubber, and
shone with all its original brightness.
;"That's the most Micawber-like card I
ever saw-it's always turning IN. I
wonder IT he has started q new one." and
he felt under the carpet to see if by anv
chance the old card was there. No. #
was gone, and the one we pensively gazed
upon was evidently the same that had
been concealed.
Il" I am bothered now to know where to
hide that darned pasteboard, but l think
we must give him one more search" re-
marked the American, dryly. "Now
where will we put it," and he moved
around the apartment in his endeavor to
light on a secure spot "Ah, herew and
mounting a chair, he laid it carefully
high away on the broad cornice of the
lofty window, entirely out Of sight.
That will bother him. Hunting. the
hare or deer. stalking is. nothing to this.
should like to see him on his travels in
search Of the lost prize. wonder if he
suspects u.s." -
At that moment our Amphytrion en-
tered the room. He was' in buoyant
spirits, having enjoyed spih>on a coach.