Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1877-03-02
A sTEREoPTICoN SHOW.
Why the Pictures Failed to give Salts
faction.

AN IIlulkluuil WHOu VIC Cdll
Twiggs was engaged few nights
ago to give magic-lantern exhi-
tion to the children at one Of our
Sunday schools. The exhibition did
not give much satisfaction to the old.
er people in the audience, because of
the somewhat peculiar character Of
the subjects in Twiggs' collection.
And so, when the show was over,
two or three of the deacons took
Twiggs in the back room to settle
with him, and Deacon X. said:
"Mr. Twiggs, considered from a
scientific point Of view, your magic
lantern show was perhaps success;
but don't it strike you that the class
Of pictures exhibited by you is just a
little bit inappropriate for Sunday
school purposes?"
81 Dunno" said Twiggs, 81 pick
ed 'em out carefully OH purpose to
suit the children"
"We,l, now," said the deacon,
"lhere was that picture of the execu-
iion of Dick Turpin; that seemed to
me to be not Il very fellcitious selec-
ton Tor such an occasion. Histori-
cally accurate, probably, but not cal
culated to elevate the minds of the
young. But even that was prefera
bic to the illustration Of the hydro
ccphalous baby preserved in 4 jar of
alcohol, which you said was a pic
ture of one in the museum of Ger
man hospital. What on earth made
you think that a swell-headed baby
in a bottle would interest Sunday.
school children?"
Dunno" said Twiggs. "Maybe
it might make them thankful that
their heads were hot swelled."
Sand then some of the folks took
exception to that 'View of San Fran
cisco that you showed. They said
that il didn't give the children any
tair idea of the appearance of the city
because there was nothing in the
view but two ruffians in the fore,
ground taking drink. while n buc
cancer, in the rear, was blowing the
head off a Chinaman with a shot
gun. ! think myself that this hardly
conveyed an accurate notion of the
general aspect of the place, and any
how. it tamiliarizes the children with
vice. And DR.. Blank said that
what made the matter worse was,
that as the view Of San Francisco
faded off, You ran in 4 picture of 'Dr.
Malone Before and After Using His
Liver Pills Our congregation don't
like this kind of thing. They say
there is nothing taught in the Sun.
day School about San Francisco and
liver-pills, and they don't care to
have these subjects introduced as a
part of the EDUCATION of the children. ~
''Is that SOP" asked Twiggs. "Now
do you know, l thought that pill pic.
ture was one of tie most eloquent
and instructive in the series. 1t was
painted from lite. 1t represents
Truth. You want the children to
learn about truth don't you?"
! "For myself, the most absurd pic
ture in the collection was the picture
of the great American Pie-Bite,
winning bet by biting through
eighteen pies at one time"
"Why, my goodness, I thought
that would interest the little folks
said Twiggs.
"Perhans 1t did, but it inspires
them with hurtful ambition. We do
not desire to develop the children of
our school into pie-eat"rs; we have
better purposes in view for them;
/ nor do we care to familiarize them
with improper aslimes Of anv kind
and it was tins that caused Deacon
Grimes to hiss when you slid on
that Scene in a Faro-Bank,' and to
leave in Indignation when you fol
lowed it with a painting Of 'Tony,
the Learned Pig, Playing Euchel
with Professional Gambler Now
don't it really seem to you that these
are hardly the kind Of things for a
Sunday-school exhibition"
"Well," said Twiggs, peoples
tastes differ. Some like 'em and
some don't"
"Aud while we are upon this mat
ter, Mr.. Twiggs, let me recommend
that hereafter upon such occasions
you omit the representation OF the
ballet scene from Don Giovanni,
with Fanny Ellsler in pink tights
standing on one toe and pointing
her other leg out toward the planet.
AIRY system. DR.. Blank said to me
that he considered this scandalous,
and know that several people got
up and took their children home
without waiting to see your picture
Of the prize-fght between Sayers and
Heenan, or to look at the abomina
bic view of a group of cannlbals broil
ing a missionary over q bonfire.
tell you such things make peop.e
round here mad. They are not sol
emn enough. What we wanted were
pictures that would elevate the mind
and purify the heart. You can see
tor yourself that these don't do tina,
now, do they?"
81 dunno: they might have that
effect on some people"
"rhc fact OF the matter is, Mr.
Twiggs, that the whole collection is
wanting in good taste; the view OF
Lucrelia Borgia poisoning her hus
band with arsenicated bologna-sau
sage; the painting of a grizzly beal
chasing man into a tree; the rep
resentation of Mr.. Toodles in con
dition of intoxication shaking hands
with a pump; the view of the defend
ant and plaintiff in the Johnson di
vorce case with Mrs. Johnson throw
ing a sad iron at Mr.. Johnson-al
these are open to criticism. And
while we pay you your money ac
cording to contract, we express the
conviction that we shall not need
your services again. and that, if you
could open up new career of use
tulness tor yourself in some Other
line of business, you might achieve
more for the civilization of the race
Then Twiggs packed up and went
home. .hf