Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1877-03-16
Chasing High, Low, Jack.
CALIFORNIA PEARS@LEMONADE FOR THE
TANTALIZING WITNESS.

week, aIbef greeting che Sergeant OF the
city of StauEton, babe him summon various
citizens to appear before the Grand Jury
of the city of Staunton Ito testify. an!
the truth to say" regarding all infractions
of her laws for the past year, a duty which
the said citizen should in no wise omit,
under the penalty Of s100. And having
done this the Commonwealth proposed to
appear in her disgracefully short petticoats
and set her foot on the neck of the Tyrant
Draw Poker. To this M a good
many citizens paid prompt attention by
%precipitate flight on the cars, while others
wrapped their robes around them, saying
that they could by no possibility imagine
why they, OF all people in the world, should
be summoned to testify. With two of the
witnesses the Grand Jury had the toughest
wrestle that is on record. The
FIRST WITNESS
was a Well-knOWn merchant On Main
street, who astonished everybody, not SO
much by what he told, as by what he
didn't tell.
"You nave been sworn remarked the
foreman Of the Grand Jury, Mr.. Baker,
land now you will please tell the jury if
you have seen any gambling going on in
any public house in the last twelve
months"
"Gambling :" exclaimed the witness.
"Why, Mr.. Baker, you know me. l just
stay in my store on Main street and sell
candy and peanuts. Those California
pears, they are splendid! Major. Bagby,
you bought some Of 'em yesterday"
Mr.. Bagby-''No. [ didn't"
The witness-"Well, you ought to have
bought 'em; there amt been such pears
here for a year."
ssWitness," said the foreman, with a
look of severe suspicion, 'you are here to
tell if you SAW any gambling in public
places. Mr.. Scherer's has been mentioned.
Did you see any there?"
The witness with fervor)-"Old Uncle
John Sche-er? Bless my heart /! how is the
old gentleman to-day. 1 hear he's been
SICK"
Here one of the Jurors remarked that the
witness had better be sent before Judge
Smith.
sJudge Smith" said the witness.
ssJudge Smiths a nice man. He comes
by my place sometimes, and buys them
California pears. Judge Smith is a nice
man. If he was to come by my place to-
morrow I'd give him just the coolest glass
of lemonade he ever drank"
"We don't uant to hear about lemonade,
witness, we want to know if you have seen
any gambling going On"
"'Tain't lemonade in particular, Mr..
Baker. I've got some as fine peanuts as
you ever laid YOU eyes on. There's some
of the jury eating 'em now. [ know they
are good roasted 'em myself"
'Gambling!'' shouted a chorus of jury
men. "It's gambling we are asking yon
about, not peanuts
swell, now, as to gambling. MI. Baker,
you know me. just tend to my store
all day, and maybe in the evening [ just
take a walk around to freshen up, and
come back home and take a game of do
minoes with my children, and that's all
the gambling I know anything about"
The jurers looked at each other, and dis
charged the witness.
THE NEXT WITNESS
was a young lawyer, who came armed with
a law book, and a face as solemn as an
owl. He was asked if he had seen any
gambling anywhere. and declined to an
swer.
He was then asked if he had seen any
gambling in the American Hotel, or on
the premises. sThe PREMISES said a jul
ror, "extend up to the barber shop
Sup to the barber SHOP? - said the wit
ness, 'sthen [ decline to answer the ques-
tion.''
Here an examination was made as to
whether the premises included the barter
shop, or not. Witnesses were sent for,
deeds examined, and at last it WAS settled
that the barber shop Was a part Of the
premises of the public house.
The witness, then, again declined to an
swer, and was sent before Judge Smith,
who informed him that he would have to
answer or go to jail.
The grand Jurors thought they had struck
a bonanza Of indictments in the barber
shop.
sHave you seen any gambling in the
DHEUCE SuUp : SN4u UuC 1OlCtbdu. oUClii1y'
81 nave not replied the witness, with
the faintest twinkle Of q smile illumina-
ting his plaster cast of a face.
The jurors were incensed, and one sug-
gested that the witness had been thrilling
with the Grand Jury, which is a very dread
full thing indeed.
The witness shouldered his law book and
wandered down the steps, looking as lnno-
cent as a newborn babe.
The Grand Jury finished It's labors by in
dieting some twenty citizens for card play
ing, but by some slip betwixt Cup and lip
didn't perfect the Indictment against two
professional men, who thus escape
The White Sulphur Springs Hotel Burnt.
Tuesday night, as the western bound ex-
press passed the new ''Peyton House," at
the White Sulphur, at 10 O'Clock, the lights
were burning brightly, aud the proprietor,
M. Geo. L. Peyton, with his che, rful face,
was standing on the platform to welcome
his guests. When it returned next morn
ing the astonished passengers saw four
blachsned, smoking walls, and MI. Pey
ton was standing on the platform, looking
at the ruins. About IL O'Clock Tuesday
night Mr.. J. L. Fitz, a son-in-law Of Mr..
Peyton. reached home rom Covington, and
found that the inmates of the Peyton
House had retired, but that it had taken
fire in the kitchen. There was barely time
to awaken everybody before the black
smoke filled the corridors Of the hotel, and
in a short time the splendid five story,
Mansard roof building was in ruins. All