Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1877-12-07

dignifed and delightful old gentleman
once told me he thought the young people of
to-day were less mannerly than in the olden
time, less dsferential, less decorous. This
may BE- true. and tried to be sufficiently def
erential to my courtly host. not to disagree
with him. But when look upon the young
people Of my own acquaintance, recall that
William went, rs a matter of course, to put
the ladies IN their carriage; Jamie took the
hand luggage as naturally as if he were born
for nothing else; Frank never failed to open
n door for them; Arthur placed Maggie in
her chair at table before he took his own
Nelly and Ruth came to my party Just as
sweet and bright as if they did not know that
the young gentlemen whom they had expect
ed to meet We're prevented from attending
while Lucy will run herself ont of breath for
you, and Mary sits and listens with fiattering
intentness, and Anne and Alice and-well,
looking over my constituency, | find the
young people charming.
II is true that all manners are less formal,
that etiquette is less elaborate. now than
hundred years ago. Our gnndfathers and
grandmothers-some indeed, of our fathers
and mothers-did not sit at breakfast with
their fathers and mothers, but stood through
the meal, and never spoke except when spok-
en- to. I cannot say l think we have deterio-
rated in changing this. The pleasant, famil-
lar. aTectionate intercourse between parent
and child seems to me one of the most de-
lightful features of domestic life. The real,
fond intimacy which exists between parents
and children seems far better and safer thing
than the old fashion of keeping children at
arms length.
But in casting aside forms we are perhaps,
somewhat in danger of losing with them some
of that inner kindness of which form is only
the outward expression. Without admitting
that we are an uncivil people, insisting even
that We compare favorably with other nations,
l wish our boys and girls would resolve that
the courtesy of the Republic shall never suf-
fer i'll their hands.
Does this seem trivial aim for those who
are bending their energies to attain a high
standing i'll classics and mathematics? There
is perhaps no single quality that does as much
to make life smooth and comfortable-yes,
and succeSsful-as courtesy. No man can be
agreeable without courtesy, and every separ-
ate act of incivility creates its little large,
and ever enlargng circle of displeasure and
unhappiness.
One does not wish to go through life trying
to be agreeable; but life is great failure if
one goes through it disagreeable.
Yes, little friends, believe me- you may be
very learned, very skillful, very accomplished.
| trust you are hope you will become more
so. You may even have sound principles and
good habits; but if people generally do not
like you, il is because there is something
wrong in yourself, and the best thing you can
do is to study out what it is and correct it as
fast as possible. Do not for moment fancy
it is because you are superior to other people
that they dislike you, for superiority never,
of itself, made person unlovely. 1t is in
variably defect of some sort. Generally it
is defect arising from training and there
fore possible to overcome.
For instance two girls in the country have
each a pony phaeton. One drives her sisters,
her family, her guests, her equals and never
thinks of going outside that circle. Another
does the same but, more than this, she often
takes the cook, the laundress, or the one
woman who often is cook, laundress, house
maid all in one. And TO them the drive is
far greater luxury than to her own comrades,
who would be playing croquet or riding if
they We're not with her. Now and then she
invites some poor neighbor, she takes some
young sempstress or worsted-worker to town
to do her shopping, she carries the tired
housewife TO see her mother she asks three
little girls-somewhat crowded but npturous-
ly happy-three miles to see the balloon that
has alghted on the hill she drives a widowed
old mother-in- Israel to a atea-drinking of which
she would otherwise be deprived. These are
not charities. They are courtesies, and this
bright-faced girl is sunshine in her village
home and, by and by, when her box of finery
is by some mistake left at the station, stall
wart youngster, unbidden, shoulders it and
bears it painting and perspiring, to her door
step, declaring that he would not do it for
another person in town but Miss Fanny And
perhaps he does not even say Miss Fanny
only Fanny. Now she could get on very well
without the villagers admiring affection, and