The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-12-21
Vv,.e ..d OtherwIse.


The agricultural population of
Georgia is 100000 souls, and the
number of acres In cultivation lie .
trifie over 100000.
The longest bridge in the world
is over the river Tay, on the line OF
the North British railway. 1t is
1912 feet. long, and has just been
completed at an expense of $3.50,
600. There are 50 epans. The cele-
brated bridge at Montreal is 1884,
or with approaches, 8, 1874 feet. a
A Philadelphia poetess sings: ST
would not weep because the roses
die" No, indeed. That's nothing
to cry for. But when black oak
wood is worth $50 q cord, and the
winter promises to last five months,
then you want to lift up your voice
and howl till they can hear you in
Nevada.-Bur. Hswkeye.
Mrs. Spyke has boy who "nails"
things. One day he remarked in
the presence of both parents, "Ma,
/ saw pa kiss you in the woodshed
last evening"" "Hush, JOHNNY your
pa never committed so foolish an
act ]" 'sYes, he did. Jane says it
wasn't her, but YOU. Jane doesn't
work there now.
An Illinois youth invested a dol
lar and Q half in q New York firm
to discover "How TO appear well in
society. The receipt which he re-
ceived by return mail was short,
simple, and easily understood cal
ways keep your nose clean, and
don't suck. more than one finger at
"a time.y ~ Ff Ak
A Young lady of Holyoke tied a
raw lump of red liver around her
throat to cure her hosrseness. But
when she awoke in the night and
fonnd O select company of rats sit
ting around on her chin and should
era. making o iunehz off the liver,
she went back to the good old harts-
horn liniment.1 "
When an enthusiastic editor de-
scribes q bride as bonnY, and an en-
Yious compositor sets her up as bo-
ny, as was done at Jacksonville the
other day, hope for the season bids
the world farewell, and freedom
shrieks as, the compositOr falls at,
his FORM Drained by the brother of
the blooming BRIDE "a = 3 =
A little girl braids the hair of one
who sits in front of her, instead of
stndyiDg, whenthe teacher remarks,
sHome Is the place for arranging
the hair, not here. What would
you think of my braidiDg my hair
in school ?" Presently 8, Snsan's
baud is raised, and the teacher, sup
posing she wishes to ask some
question about the lesson, mods,
when she hears the following Ma
ry- says your hair is false, and that
yon wouldn't dare TO do IL here.''
ais this a foreign country?" asks
an American journal. Russian
leather ls made In Connecticut, Bor-
deaux wine is manufactured in Cal
ifornia, French lace is woven in
New York, Italian marble is dug In
Kentucky, Marseilles linen ia pro-
duced in Massachu setts, English
is made in New Hamp-
shire, Partisan art work comes from
q shop in Boston, Spanish maekerel
are caught on the New Jersey coast,
and Havanascigars are rolled ont
by the million in Chicago"
"Did you never" asked a trans
cendental young lady just three
weeks from Vassar, of the West
Hill young man, "Did you never
feel q, vague, unrestful yearning af-
ter the beyond? a wild, strange,
impulsive longing and reaching
out after the unattainsble2" And
the West Hid man said he often
had, last summer, at such times as
he was trying to scratch square
inch full of hives, right between |
his shoulder blades, aud just out of
reach of anything.
An editor, going away, left his |
paper in charge of a minister. Dur
ing the ministers stay in the sane
tun, the following letter came from |
q mountain subscriber: "You know
very well paid my subscription to |
your paper the last time / was in |
Lexington. IfsIget any more such
letters from y GU ss [ received last |
week, l will come down to Lexing-
ton and maui HI out of youp
The minister answered: Il have
been trying to maui that thing out
of the editor for ten years past, and
If you will really come down and
maui it out of him, then, my dear
sir, have twenty members of my
church l will also get you to oper-
ate on.D -o-. as.o..t