The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1877-08-08
WISE AND OTHERWISE.
The centre or gravfEy-An under

The centre or gravfty-An Under
taker's nose. aA g t
Queen Of the bawl,room-T
nurse. 80 s.sa 9s4 p
A child being asked Of what were
the great feasts, promptly replied: Il
Breakfast, dinner and supper"
A boy having been told :. that q
reptile was an animal that cEeeps,"
on being asked to name one on -ex-
animation day, promptly replied
IA baby 80
Young men of the middle ranks
are getting so shy and hard to catch
that parents will have to begin to
offer chromos along with their mar
riageable daughters says the
Turner'S Falls Reporter. sas Il,
A country girl wrote to heF-lover:
/" NowI George don't you fale torbe
at the singing-sehool, tonight"
George wrote back that Fsin, the
.bri5at lexicon Of yoath-We Webster'sa
Unabridg ged--there's no such word
as fale.'"v sr 7sgs re nd r4s
"A 4colored wedding party gather.
ed at Hartford, Conn.,, recensly. .1and33
waited long for the bridegroom. .siAs1
policeman finally found Him about to-
take the cars.=sssFl4e time is so
hard. !" he said, 'aI had toagiveit
up.'as saEsssf ss=gsL a5& asis - z1oss
On Saturday, at baptism in a
baptist church not far from Boston.
when a somewhat agitated candidate
wasastruggling in the tank. small
boy IN the gallery began hd,nming
g Publ for the shore" loud enough
to be heard by all present. A9o3s adt
Ministers should remember that
the weather is growing very warm,
and the congregation which sits de-
lighted through two and one-half
hours Of a five-act comedy can't
possibly endure more than twenty
five minutes of sermon and three
minute prayer. There is a limit
even to human endurance. si@
The strawberry -shortcake festival
held by our church societies might
be tendered more interesting and
attractive by announcing that the
young men who finds the strawberry
| in his piece of cake viii be entitled
to kiss from tile prettiest girl in
the room. or something Of that sort.
EYES Curiosity.-Young wife--
81 wish you'd let me 60 with you
to the city,, tomorrow, Fred"
Young husband" Why, ny love"
Young wife Because should so
like, just for once, to take walk
through the money market. ."--P,ntch.
A little boy, entered fish market
the other day, and seeing for the
first time q pile Of lobstera lying on
the counter, looked intentlY at them
for some time, when he exclaimed:
g BY gracious /! them's the biggest
[ grasshoppers I've ever n.-Boston
I ~ 5u-ft tis a1St@@iAisttI 5aitt@e34a &@
S0SSsSa5 Ess hsnq ava3 saAi tads aasaa
| II say fellows" remarked q
Yankee loafer to some Of his com,
panions, g let us see. who can tell
the biggest lie.' l"All right said
one. :" I'm the biggest fool in Amer
ica.''' z Oh, pshawF' exclaimed the
first, contemptuopsly I'VE. agreed
to tell nothing but lies. and you be-
Egin to tell the truth"
/ Scene at, the seaside: Youth with
sad, love struck air--'iO wilt thou
not be mine--my own dear bride2 7
love you deeply, fondly, passionater
Iy, wildly Il cannpt live without
you Say, oh, say thou wilt be
mine I. Maiden with downcast
eyes" Adolphus, is there anything
| with my dress? | saw tue Smith
girls just now look at me curiouslY.
Does my hair set all right 2" Adol-
phus discontihues his love making. Z.
The children of a clergyman's
family in Aberdeen we're making
themselves sl1ns ells happy propounndahinlg
conundrunls. Finally one Of them
said, Who was the neekest wo-
man The, clergyman seemed
struck with fresh thonght, and re-
piled quickly, We don't read Of
any" But madam made herself
even with him when she rejoined,
with quite as much qulckness, well,
we read Of only one such man, ana
from the fuss that's made about him
its plain they're scarce :
'..Oh, why was I born y said he;
: Why did they yank me by the hiar
out Of eternal nothingness into CON
crete existence, to buffet the storms,
Of this rude world with 10 postpone
ment on account Of the weather?
What, then, is this problem of
human destiny with which Science
has SO fmpotently wrestIed for 50 !
many centuries? Bntshe told him,
ali the same, that there was no base
bali For him that afternoon and IT,
he didn't get the kindling split be-
fore his father came home. there'd