Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1877-12-19


. IT'S to bid thy love-tides roll;
d For beneath those velvet lids
~ Are the fountains Of the soul.
q HUMOROUS.
PAT says the turkey was counted IN
There were Z to 8 TN y Herald.
Il THE best liberal party-The man VIII
) makes the most cheering Christmas pres
ent.
II A GooD-srzrD pedestal is waiting 70
the genius who will devise q busines
: coat with pigeon-holeA
n TxE si1e 81 rSris bo1nsts Il f6f0wiIA
less, but the signs Of husbands grov
larger at the price.
I AN insane inquiry: "When man
"rooted to the spot" by fear, does hi
branch out before he leaves?
"BEFoRE was married" said younl
Grippins, Everybody told me 1t did moi
cost as much to support two - it die
one, but somehow or other it doesn't par
out that way with me-"
/ "THE trouble is this: I've bought
this rare cid cabinet, said to have belong.
ed to-to-to Robespierre, or Robin
Hood, or Robinson Crus0e, or some OF
those old fellows, and now, by jingo, il
won't go in the house BY four feetl !"
The experienced editor can always tell
at sight the man who comes in with the
first attempt at original poetry. He
walks on tiptoe, and looks - though he
had just passed counterfeit bill or
strangled baby.
"OH, here il q red ear" exclaimed q
southern Illinois youth ct recent corn
husking bee. "And here is another"
cried a pretty girl at his side, - she gave
him stinging box alongside his head
when trying to kiss her.
You cannot always Judge by appear
ances. The young fend in human form
who recently jalaped the watermelons at
Sunday school picnic proved to be the
same boy who always sang edward,
Christian Soldiers" with the greatest
fervor.
A WEALTHY Cape Cod bachelor, re-
Gently deceased, left twenty fishing
smacks to q lady who had once discarded
him. In this way he got even for the
smacks of another kind he had been
denied the privilege Of giving her during
his lifetime.
A DEARBORN county, Indiana, doc
tor in making out the papers Of an ap-
plicant says: "He was better at times
but never able to do days work until
the 14th day of December, 1867, when he
died" That the doctor considered .
days work.
FAMILY scene-( Madame is conversing
with friend, her child listening): Mad
anne: "Imagine, my dear, the distress
am in this summer. ! lost my hair"
Child (interrupting): "Oh, no, man,
ma, know where the hair is you wear;
l saw it in drawer this morning"
JOHN SMITH is q poet. His name
sound at all suggestive of poetry, which
Johns parents realizing, they gave him
the intervening name Of Soule, which is
full of lofty thought, and is somewhat
like an excellent piece of ham secured BY
two pieces of very doubtful bread
Danbury Nesos.
If YOU dream of ringtailed monkey
chewing bar soap on the top OF an
obelisk, and scratching the small OF his
back with his left hind foot, on which
there is blister of the eighth potenti-
ality, and of two years standing, IT
means that yon will meet . cross-eyed
girl the next time you go hunting Tor
raccoons IN a reservoir.
HUMANITY cheaper than mule
Isham Dalton and wife of Ballard
county, Kentucky, separated, she taking
an only child, little girl OF eight sum-
men, and q mule, their only live seocK.
Recently he brought suit for the posses
sion of the child, but accepted the ten
der of the mule a. compromise.
SOME men, who were pumping water
from a vessel thought to be tight, found
that the water did not fall after an hours
working. One of the lab0rers, an Irish
man, on making an examination round .
hole near the stern, upon which he cried:
Sthop, boys; sure, ye'd pump the ocean
away before the ship would fostV
"YoU wasn't around when they dealt
out hair. was you7" said red-haired
man to bald-headed man railroad car.
" Yes. was there" said the man with
the skating rink on the top OF his head;
"I was there, but they offered me hand
full of red, and / told them to throw 1t
into the coal scuttle to kindle the hre
with C0urier-Josrrdt.
MOTHERS should be very careful to
see that their daughters are well wrapped
up while sitting out ON the piazza TO re
"the sateNites of Mars" A cost sleeve
Of course is as good as far a. It goes, and,
to tell the truth, il generally goes - mr.
as it can, but at best it can cover only
about 80 muct territory. - RocAstev
Chronicle.
Two lrishmen, on . certain occasion,
occupied the same room. In the morn
ing one Of them inquired Of the other,
!" Dennis, did you hear the thunder in
the night" aNo, Pat; did it really
thunderY" "Yes; it thundered y It
hiyen and earth would come together"
WHY the deuce, then, didn't ye wake
me, for We know / can't slape when It
thunders!"
on a railway line, recently, : passen-
ger stopped the conductor, and asked,
q Why does not the train run fasterf"
q Il roes fast enough to suit us II you
don't like the rate Of speed, get o6 and
walk" was the rejoinder. l would" !"
replied the passenger, - back IN
bis seat, "but my friends e come
for me until the train co6eoo e, and l
don't want to be waiting ssoend the
station two or three hours.
4 SAN FRANCISCO boy, oSIy, four
years old, was observed making queer
movements with his elbow. HI aunt
asked him what he WAS doing. "Crook.
ing my elbow" said precocion.. " bnt
what are you crooking you elbow for,
"Csuse 1 want to det nice hssIe
strawberry on my nose." " 6ee thas
| von't mako ! straubszTys Johany. I.
q Yes il win, for The oook ~ peE:a
wouldn't have the big arawbsfs5 g. AZ |,
noe il he dds crook hiaslbcw - e1len. !.
"A Da1yza Of coal vaspn ~ u a,
would, on small provocation, s.esr f0Ei.
ously. Ones sosse beys T. 80 fe.ee In ~ J
him with ! fnll lad a cod 1Eivi.G
slovly alone. AZ they w<xs ~ ter -,
/ ~hief end kneW hin we'll = ~ ~