davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-05-18
WHAT THE WITS SAY.
lhe German Crown Prince Ssrs 3ypE.-
Courter-.JoUrnag.
Hark hear an angel sing,
House flies row are on the wing.

-Hasokeye.
Stanley was last heard of in Jziziziziziz
on the southerly shore of Lake Nyiyiyiyiy
Boston Post.
| You must be blind if you can't hear th
spring rubbish fires smell from every bac]
yard.-Haaokeye.
Albany boasts of a man who is so cold
biooded that dog who bit him in the le.
had all his front teeth frozen.-Gazette.
That joke about catching Sitting Bull
doing is supposed to have originated som,
where about Indianapolis N Y. Com
aaercsal.
Out in Kansas they put the smaller grass
hoppers in cages, teach them to sing, and
sell them to eastern tourists for Wichita
linnets.-Hawkeye.
We have been expecting to hear the boom
OF cannon i'll Louisiana, but thus far there
has been nothing nose serious than the peel
OF bananas.-,St. Louis Journal.
oh Don't say word about it; don't
speak maybe it will get by without MOTTO
ing us or disturbing any one. Here comes
the Fourth of July again.-Hawkeys.
When Comstock journalist is hard up for
an Item be sneaks into the back yard of a
mining superintendent and writes nm 3
glowing description of his dogs. f.
Mail.
The Chicago Times has paragraphie de-
partment of "Pearls" which it casts be-
fore its readers.-C -Courier-JournaZ The
u. j. seems to be one of it's readers. S'bov.
N. T. Herald.
The man who invents some way by
which a fellow can take his liver out in the
spring, hang it in the back yard, and whip
it as they do carpets, will confer boon on
his fellows.-Sentineg.
Kaiser William is ready, willing and anx
ious to make Knight of Minister Wash
bnrne. We always thought Minister Wash
ourne had an knight to business when he
took care of the Partisan Germans. .-Haack-
eye. -
The humorist of the Detroit free Press
was married few months ago, and we are
sorry to see paragraphs like this dropping
from his pen California has 800 tons os
honey to sell at close figures. There's
cramps for all creation. ~ Cincinnati Gam
While conversing yesterday on finan-
cisl topics with the president of one of our
leading banks, we remarked" etc. It was
IN this style that a country editor opened
his leading editorial few weeks ago. It
transpired that he had gone
in there to request the loan of dollar
" y Honn,uorrsn7 -------
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-05-18
P PoETRY z
AN IDYL OF THE ROAD.
Sierras, 1879.

DRAMATIs PERsoNE:
6tSt 1ourtst. YubG BiR,n driuer.
second Tourist Stranger.
FIRST TOURIST.
LOOK, now the upland plunges into cover,
Green where the pines fade sullenly away,
wonderful, those olive deptbs! and wonderful more
SECOND TOURIST.
The red dust that rises in suffocatlng way"
| FIRST TOURIST.
Small is the soul that cannot soar above it.
Cannot but cling to its ever kindred clay;
Better be yon bird that seems to bresthe and love
it"
SECOND TOURIST.
Doubtless hawk, or some other bird of prev
Were we, like him, as sure of dinner,
That on our stomachs could comfortably stay
Or were the fried ham shade or two just thinner,
That mdat confront us at closing of the day,
Then might you sing like Thcocritus or Virgil
Then we might each make metrical essay;
But verse just now-I must protest and urge, i'll
Fits digestion by travel led astray."
CHORUS OF PASSENGERS,
Speed, Iuba Bill, OH speed us to our dinner!
Speed to the sunset that beckons far away"
SECOND TOURIST.
William of Yuba, o, Son of Nimshi, hearken!
Check thy profanity, but not thy chariot's play,
Tell us, o William before the shadows darken,
Where and, oh, how shall we dine, ., William,
say!"
YUBA RILL.
:" 1t amt my fault nor the Kumpeny's reckon,
Ye can't get ez square meal ez any on the Bay,
Up at yon place where the sunset pears to beckon-
Ez that sharp allows in his airy sort O. way.
There WOE place yer hash ye might have wrestled
hept by woman ez clipper ez jay
Warm In her breast all the morning sunshine nestled
he'd ON her cheeks all the evenings sunset law"
SECOND TOURIST.
g Praise is but breath, chariot compeler!
Yet of that hash would bid the further say
YUBA BILL.
' Thar woy a snipe--like you-a fancy tourist
KEN to that ranch ez if to make stay
Ran off the the gal and ruined jist the purist
Crttcr that lived"
STRANGER Quietly.
You're a liar, driver!"
YUBA BILL Geaching for his revolver).
"Eh!
Iere take my lines, somebody-n
CHORUS OF PASSENGER g. |
Hush, boys, listen,
inside there's lady! Remember! No affray.n
YUBA BILL.
Eff that men lives, the fault amt mine nor his'u"
STRANGER.
Wait for the sunset that beckons far away
Then-as you Will But meantime, friends believe
me,
,owhere on earth lives a purer woman-nay,
If my perceptions do surely not deceive me-
he is the lady we have inside to-day
As for the man-you see that blackened pine tree |
Up which the green vine creeps h-ayenward away!
e was that SCARED trunk and she the vine that |
sweety
Clothed him with life again and lifted
SECOND TOURIST.
e Yes, but pray
ow know sou :his?"
STRANGEE.
She's my wife,
YUBA ELL.
The h. II You say!'' Bret Htsrfe, in Puck
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-05-18
Advice to Correspondents.

Mover ---tito wrIUe Win pen or INK. IJ is
altogether too PLAIN and doesn't hold the
minds of the editor and printers closely
enough to their work.
If you are compelled to use ink, never use
that vulgarity known as the blotting pad.
it off. The intelligent compositor loves
nothing better than to read through the
smear this will make across twenty or thir-
ty words. We have seen him hang over
such piece of copy half an hour, swearing
like pirate all the time, he felt SO
good.
Don't punctpate. We prefer to punctu-
ate all manuscript sent to us. And don't
use capitals. Then we can punctuate and
capitalize to SUIT ourself, and your article
when you see it in print, will astonish you
even if it does does not please you.
Don't write too plainly. tits sign OF
plebian origin and public-school breeding.
Poor writing is an indication of genius.
It's about the only indication of genius
that a great many men possess. Scrawl
your article with your eyes shut, and make
every word as illegible as you can. We
get the same price for it from the rag-man
as though it were covered with copper-plate
sentences.
Avoid ali painstaking with proper names.
We know the full name of every man,
woman and child in the United States, and
the meIest hint at the name is sufhelent.
For instance if you write character some
thing like drunken figure s, and then
draw wavy line, and the letter NJ and an
other wavy line, we will know at once
that you mean Samuel Morrison, even
though you may think you may mean Lem
uel Messenger. 1t is great mistake that
proper names should ever be written
plainly.
Ajway write on both sides of the paper,
and when you have filled both sides OF
every page, trail line up and down every
margin. and back to the top OF the first
page, closing your article by writing your
signature just above the date. How We
do love to get bold Of articles written i'd
this style. And how we would like to get
hold of the man who sends them, just for
ten minutes. Alone. In the woods, witia
cannon in our hip pocket Revenge is
sweet; yum, yum, yum.
Lay your paper on the ground when yosa
write; the rougher the ground is the bet
ter.
Coarse brown wrapping paper is the bess
for writing your articles Oh. II you CAN
tear down an old circus poster and
write on the pasty side of it with a psn
stick. it will still be better.
When your article is completed, crunch
your paper in your pocket, and carry IL
three or four days before sending il M
This will rub osit the superfiuous pencil
marks and makes it lighter to handle.
IF you can thiuk of it, lose one page out
of the middle of your article. We can
supply what is missing, and we love 20 40
it. We have nothing else to do.--Hasos-
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-05-18


SOUTHERN PACIFIC RAILROAD. - The
conpletion OF the Southern Pacific railroad
to the Columbia river, is announces from
the General superintendent's Once. Fhe
following new stations are specified. The
last two are not yet opened. Frink 8
sprsng, distant from Ssn Francisco eAl-e
miles; Flowing Well, distant from San
Francisco 65s.5 miles; Piles Knob, distant
from San Francisco TO miles; Colorado
river, Cal. 1882 miles from San Francisco
Yuma. Arizona, 1912 miles from San Fran
cisco. Yuma will be opened early in May,
as regular agency station, and will then
become, until further notice, the terminal
Or connecting station for prominent points
N Arizona and New Mexico.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-05-18
BRIC-A-BRAC.

Miss Virginia Peyton, highly accom-
plished granddaughter Of the late Bishop
Johns, of Virginia, has become governess of
the children of the President. Hearing
that Mrs. Hayes was looking for teacher,
she went without recommendations to the
White House and applied for the place.
The Presidents wife received her very
kindly and promised after a long conversa-,
tlon to make inquiries and communicate
with her forthwith. The result of her in
quiries was SO favorable that the intrepid
young lady was engaged as governess at a
handsome salary.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-05-18

t. K. Beecher writes in the Now York
Independent that under the new policy of
he administration the colored people Of the
South will lose their leaders who have lied
to them, and in their disappointment they
v i'll make an outcry. When the outcry
c.lnes, pI.la nthropists and intelligent citi-
zens at the north must stand firm, like the
assistants of a surgeon when the patient
shrieks at the first cut of the knife that is
to save his life. Hear the cry, but stand
firm. Ii the colored people ever rise they
must rise by the discipline of neighborly
lrietions. If they emerge from barbarism
at all, they must follow the same costly
lines by which all other races of men have
come up to the estate of self-government.
This will be long process. No act of leg
is!ature, no executive act, can make an oak
tree grow like mushroom in a night, or
lit mp childish savages to the stature of
freedmen in day.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-05-18

Oregon has seen Virginia's bell-punch for
collecting the tax on ardent spirits, and
"gocs her "-metapholically speaking
sfone better" The legislators of that far
Pacific State have proposition before
them to require all customers of the inc
briating cup to take out license. Five
dollars per annum is the sum fixed on by
the bill, and it is provided that upon pay
ment OF that sum any individual in the State
shall be at liberty to beg, buy or get trust
ed for all the Intoxicating drinks he feels
called upon to absorb. A heavy penalty is
provided for the saloonist who sells TO an
unlicensed man. This is open to the OBJ
lection that it makes the right to get drunk
a luxury-if that is an objection.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-05-18

The discharge of nearly one half Of the
persons employed in the department of en-
craving and printing in the Treasury, is
made the topic of much ignorant censure.
The preparation of fractional currency has
occupied the larger part of these persons,
i,aA fss fs ssiilss or
The quantity of the 81 and $s legal tender
notes in circulation, also diminishes work
in this bureau. 1t is not true that the per-
sons now discharged have been idlers and
wrongfully on the pay roll. The country
is printing SO much less of paper money,
that it needs less labor in tho printing bu-
reau. That is the general explanation. In
dividual cases of fayoritism may have ex-
listed, but of the 400 discharged, most have
had work to dc, and have done it.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-05-18
Circulation Of New York Papers.


have been requested to give the circula-
ton OF the New York journals. l can give
only impressions, and give them exact as
to the Imagination. You must be the
Judge Of the guess. Eoeniug Mail, two
cents, 1000. Morning Witness. two cents
and religious, $4,000. B0snang Post, three
cents, 1000. Commercial Adeertiser, three
cents, 5000. Daily Aeaos, one cent, printed
for Bowery loungers and containing no ap-
preciable news, 10000. World, three cents
and Democratic, 1900. San, two cents,
independent in tone and Democratic in
present politics, 10000, (perLaps some
hat higher, / have not the publishers
weekly statement at handy Times, four
c. pts aud Republican, $4,000. Tribune,
four cents and independent Republican, 3d.
00a HereId. three cents, and independent
as a ciam on ice, 145, 5,00o. Eeening 7ele-
gram, two cents and also independent, A.
O00.
The ejaculation of leading Journal in a
city like Chicago, Cincinnati or St. ,Ionis is
about 33,000 Tie circulation OF IA Journal
in Pr.videace, Milwaukee, Albany, Newark
or Buffalo wonld be from 1000 to 10000.
The circulation of leading journal in Peoria
or Springfield, H., Patterson. N. j., or
Harrisburg, Pa. would be about 1000.
The Book GRANT WILL WRITE.-An
interviewer recently reported ex=president
Grant as saying that ne had no intention
Of writing !. book. A Washington dis
patch to the Boston journal says, however:
:. There have been several stories to the
effect that President Grant intended to
vrise a book. The facts are these: The
PresiHent aiil not write an autobiography,
but d history Of his services in the Union
army, rs well rs in the position which he
afterwards held as Chief Magistrate of the
ration. Ii will be published in book form,
with lie Generals name on the iiy-leaf.
II will he edited by Mi. smith, Mrs. Grant
cousin. who resides II Pennsylvania, and
whose merits rs a writer are well spoken
II. lie has been placed in charge of all
.fiicial ieeoltis for The purpose Of making
The wDtk full aiid authentic, aud will be
assisted bs number of literary gentle
!, men.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-05-18

Windmills in Holland are about as high
as an average church steeple. The arms Or
fans are of an enormous length, and carry
5000 feet of canvas. And this is the ma
chine that literally makes Holland. It
pumps out the ocean when the ocean gets
in. 1t saws and grinds. It does the lift
ing and the lowering. A family lives in
the mill. In Holland there are full 10000
of these mammoth structures. Some are
built of brick, others of stone, many of
wood. They turn slowly, but with great
power and there is seldom serious or
long continued lack of wind.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-05-18

The longest lived people, according to the
jewish Chronicle, are the Jews. Among
them, it remarks, "hereditary disease is
very rare scrofula is scarcely found, their
freedom from intermarriages preserving
the initial purity of their blood Their ex-
emption from infection such scourges as
tpyhus, cholera, the plague, has often been
remarked, but it is attributed to the scru-
pulousncss with which the vast majority at
tend to the hygienic prescription of their
ritual. The average length OF life, accord
ing to the Chronicle, exceeds tho Christian
by five years.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-05-18

Regular advertising payable quarterly, as due.
Transient advertising payable in advance.
Special Notices are 30 per cent. more than REG.
ular advertisements.
Local advertising, Is cents for the first insertion.
70 cents per line for each succeeding insertion:
lines counted in Nonpariel measure
Job Work payable on delivery.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-05-18

SECOND TOURIST.
" The red dust that rises in suffocat1ng way"
FIRST TOURIST.
= Small is the soul that cannot soar above it,
Cannot but cling to its ever kindred clay;
Better be yon bird that seems to breathe and love
it
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-05-18

DRAMATIs PERsoNE:
Fist Tourist. Yatba Binn driper
Second Tourist STRANGER
FIRST TOURIST.
: Look, how the upland plunges into cover
Green where the pines fade sullenly away,
Wonderful, those olive deptbs! and wonderful more
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10

SITTING BULL is not likely to cause the
Americans any more trouble. After his
scorniul rejection of the peace proposals
Of the American Commissioners, the Ca
radlan authorities gave him talking to.
lie was told that if he wanted to keep
within the Dominion he could do so, but
that his young men would not be permit
ted to cross the line and make war upon
the Americans, and that if they made
hostile demonstration against the United
States they would be summarily dealt
with by the Canadian authorities. "Sit-
ting Bull' will not probably care to incur
the enmty of "John Bull" and we may
reasonably suppose we have got rid Of n
good sized elephant.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10

NoN-J JUDICIAL DAYs.-In the case of
Walter Carrick, tried for murder in Sis
hiyou county, the jnIy returned n verdict
Of guilty and sentenced the prisoner to
imprisonment for life. The counsel for
the prisoner then moved that the defend
ant be discharged, as part of his trial had
been held or the 18th of October, the day
of the Special Judicial Election, which
by the laws Of California is a non judicial
day. The defence therefore claimed that
the verdict Of the jury was void and that
the Court had no right to receive the
same. Judge Rosborough thereupon de-
ferred sentence and remanded the prison
er to the custody Of the Sheriff. 1t will
probably be taken to the Supreme Court
upon that point, even if there were no
others raised during the progress of the
trial,
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10

THE EASTERN ELECTIONS Elections
were held in number of the Eastern
and Southern States Tuesday. The Re
publcans felt pretty despondent at the
prospects, and the general belief Monday
was that all the States would follow the
lead of Ohio and go Democratic. From
+he returns received it appears that the
Democrats have carried New York, New
dorsey and Pennsylvania, with the South
ern States as a matter Of course. Massa-
chusetts and Wisconsin are Republican,
rs are the Western States which held
elections that day. Little Macs" ma
jority in New Jersey viii approximate
10000.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10

CANAL AT THE CAsCADEs.-Orders
have been received at Portland to begin
the locks and canal improvements a. the
Cascades. fla canal can be cut around
the Cascades so as TO permit vessels to
pass freely into the Upper Columbia, it
VIII give an impetus to the settlement of
Eastern Oregon which will give that por-
tion Of the State importance as an agri-
cultural region as well as for its mining
and grazing capacity.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10

DIPHTHERIA.-Four children in one
family of Humboldt county died in less
than week from this dreadful disease
In view of the fact that it is spreading
over the State the State Board Of Health
have addressed a circular to the press OF
.,he various counties giving measures of
precaution to'prevent the disease becQtn ?
ing epidemic in community. One great
prerequisite to prevent the spread Of the
disease is to prevent people from coming
near those whc are attacked by it. There
is no doubt but the malady is contagious
in its nature.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10

BRTGHAM's tombstone it is said, will
bear the simple but appropriate inscrip-
tion ''Our Husband" And years hence,
when all the Mrs. Youngs sleep beside
their husband, the row Of headstones will
be mistaken, in the distance, for an acre
panel Of board fence, whitewashed.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10
af'eekIy Trjnity 5ournal.
OUR AGENTS f:
THE "TRENITY JoURNAL," bel

THE "TRENITY JOURNAL" being
connected with the Associated Country Press
of the Pacific Coast, will receive advertise
ments through no other San Francisco Agent
: nan the Agency of said Association. Office
S1j Montgomery Street.
GEO. =. ROWELL d. CO.. 40 Park
Row, are our only authorized Agents in New
\ Ork City.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10

THE Amador Lcdgey has entered upon
its Twenty. y.second volume. The Ledge1'
is one Of our most vigorous Republican
exchanges and has faculty of making
things particularly lively for the derel let
Democracy ofAmador. 1t speaks cheer
fully of its future prospects which we are
gIad to see.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10

THE South African diamond digging
industry is gradually being monopolzed
hy large capitalists. Individual diggers
do not find it profitable, MS rule. The
real digging is done by natives, under the
fuperintcndence of white men, who are
employed by the claim holders.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10

AFTER three hundred years of absence,
shoals Of herring appeared this year on
the coast Of Denmark. The fish was for
many centuries the chief source of reve-
nuc OF the country, and the Danes natur-
ally hopa that it may not soon again dis
appear as it did suddenly one autumn over
300 years ago.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10

SENATOR BooTH, of this State was one
of the Congressional Committee appoint
ed by the Pres ident Of the Senate to pay
the last honors to Senator Morton. The
appointment was n most appropriate one,
our junior Senator being native of In
diam
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10

A CORRESPONDENT of the London
Times charges that the Turkish officers
positively refuse to allow amputations,
holding it better that their own soldiers
should die than they should live useless
pensioners on the State.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10

THE GHoULs.-Voorhees, and several
others of the untamod Democrats of In
diana were reported to be anxiously
awaiting news of the death of Senator
Morton. that one of them might step in
10 the dead mans shoes. Such ghoulish-
ness is disgusting.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10

A MAN named Gilbert Roycroft has
been driven from Tybo, Nevada, for
tampering with little giI3s, and the Tybo
Sim calls upon the press of this State to
pass him round. From the description
of the man we judge him to be the same
one who was here number Of years ago,
came out as q candidate ror Justice of
the Peace and got one vote-his own.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10

TEXAS is SO anxious to secure immi-
grafton that she is virtually giving away
her public lands. The head ofa family
e'n get 100 acres for the expense of the
survey and patent, which Is altogether
a bout SIS.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10

A DEMOCRATIC paper says that Dana's
income from the New York Sun is over
$4,000, "and he earns every cent of it. "
To this the Camden Post assents, and
adds : " If the champion liar of a glori-
Gus country like this amt worth that,
what is he worth ?"
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10

A VIRGINIA City physician is expert
menting upon himself as to the effects of
strychnine. He commenced taking doses
of one-eighth 90 a grain:three times day
and has increased them to three ard
halR prains.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10

STATIsTIcIAN." ;" - The November
pumber of this publication is at hand
chock full Of interesting tables. One Of
the tables gives the distances, mode of
conveyance and fare from San Francisco
to every point Of importance on the Coast.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10

WILLIAM EVERETT, of Cambridge,
Mass, is about to write the life of his
father, Edward Everett, and asks persons
having letters written by his father or
other of his manuscripts, personal anec-
dotes, ETC., to place them at his disposal.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10

THREE daughters Of a Kentuckian de-
termined to be married the other day,
and their father refusing to approve their
resolve, they all eloped with the men of
their choice the same night.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10

TIE members of Christ Church, Bos
ton, the oldest church building in the city
still use the Bible, prayer-book and sill
yer ware which were presented by King
George II. in 1888.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10

THERE hasn't been n bank failure in
Holland for forty years. 1t might be
well for the United States to inquire into
the manner Of managing banks and
banking houses in that country.
Weekly Trinity journal., 1877-11-10

GENERAL GARFIELD estimates that
the Workingmen's movement drew eighty
per cent of its strength from the Republi-
can party.