Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1877-01-26

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ton Of its business and the execu-
tiOn OF its powers.
Showing on Child.
Kate Thorn in n Y. Weekly.
Are you parent!
If SO, then you know all about it.
OF course your child, be it boy or
girl, is a paragon. They all are, in
the estimation Of their parents,
is perfectly right and proper. We
have no fault to find with the great
natural law which causes all progen-
itors, whether bird, brute or human,
to love their offspring.
Everybody knows that ther. is no
surer method of winning the ill-will
ef . doting father, or mother, than
by insinuating that his or her baby
is not so "forward' and interesting
as Mrs. Smiths Johnny.
You had better upset a beehive, or
tear down a hornets nest at noon
tide, when all the inmates are at
home to dinner, then to venture up.
Oh any such declaration
In every well-regulated family
there is baby, and the baby is the
autocrat of the household. He may
be a month old, or he may be ten
months old-nU matter-he is the
baby until the next one comes.
When visitor arrives for an af-
ternoon call, just as soon as the
weather and the fashions are dispos-
ed of, the baby admiration seance
begins. If your visitor understands
human nature to any extent, she be-
gins by extolling the baby's eyes,
and she says she has lovely com
plexion, and such cunning dinples
in its cheeks, and such luxuriant hair,
just the color Of it's fathers, but 9TH
crwise than its hair it is the very i'm
age of yourself.
And you feel extremely well-satis-
fed, and steal look in the mirror,
and flatter yourself that those artful
touches of pearl powder on your fore
head, where you are eyer SO little
"motley," are not discernibie, and
you congratulate yourself on the new
hair restorer which makes your locks
so black and glossy, and as Charles
says, "nct day older looking than
when he married you!"
And, OF course, you are so pleased
at the good sense Of your visitor,
that you invite her to stay to dinner,
and you tell Charles that night that
Mrs. b. is the most delightful wom-
an of your acquaintance. She admi-
red baby SO much.
We have observed that when there
is company, mothers usual do their
best to "show off" their children, and
children on such occasions seem en-
dowed with fatal facility of not
showing off well. The are like the
end of the world to the Millerite
sect-they do not come off as adver-
tised.
Little May "speaks her piece"about
that historic lamb, with its ''feece as
white as snow," splendidly when no.
body but the family Is present; but
when Mrs. Smith runs in with that
Johnny OF hers, and you bring Mary
before the footlights, and confident
ly expect she will astonish Mrs.
Smith by her performance, she for
gets half the piece, and puts her
thumb in her mouth, and, on being
reprimanded tor it, begins to cry,
and fills the house with her frantic
screams, and crowns the catastrophe
by falling over an ottoman, and dis
playing to the visitor that ragged
place III the embroidery of her petit
coat, which you had tiattered your
sci nobody would sect was SO out
of sight.
And just as you are picking her up
and trying to hush her tretful cries,
in comes Tommy with his face dirty,
his pants torn, and in deep trouble
about the loss of his kite, and the
one bad word which he has picked
up in his association with the street
yanims, comes out with emphasis,
and Mrs. Smith draws her virtuous
Johnny to her breast, and declares
she must be going.
Mother, did you ever dress your
baby up in his very best, without
some dire mischief of dirt or general
ruin Detailing him?
Did you ever keep his hair week
in papers, SO that he could speak his
part 1T the Sabbath School concert
in all the glory OF curls, but what it
was sure to rain on the momentous
occasion, and make his hair rs straight
as a fence post?
Did you ever forget to wash his
hands after he had INDUCED in the
luxury of doughnuts, or bread and
molasses, but what he left the marks
of his fingers on your dress, or that
uf some caller?
Did you ever intend to carry him
anywhere without his having a cry
ing spell and spelling his eyes just
previous?
Did you ever-but there, we might
90 on asking questions of this kind
until we filled the paper, and still
not come any nearer i'll our seekings
after the reason OF why it is that ch,l-
dren cannot be "shown off" when
you want to show them.
Gen. John ;. Phelps, the Cover
nor elect Of Missouri, whose nam }
became somewhat notorious during
the campaign in connection with All
adventure upon Il Mississippi steam
boat, has been singularly unfortu-
nate in his relations with the other
sex. Years ago his wife lett him.
There was no divorce, but q separa-
ton by mutual consent. After eve.
rything had been arranged, Mrs.
Phelps left Missouri and went to
Oregon. where she remained until a
couple of weeks ago, when, the elec.
ton being over and Phelps success
assured, she arrived in Springfield,
accompanied by her daughter, and
took rooms at the hotel, ut once an
nouncing to her acquaintances tina,
she had "come To he inauvurafrd