The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1877-02-17
BUBBLES.

Don't get "short' if you want to get
along.
Bear ard forbear-the bear and his
hunter.
"A very narrow aperture-the crack of
whip.
The question is, did the horseman that
secured the plain put soap in the sand?
Fashion hints railroads wear their
trains longer than usual and all behind.
Why should mariners always have
fresh fruit at sea? Because they are SO
constantly stemming the currents.
-" Mary" said street woman to
a new servant, "when you hang out the
clothes, be careful to put the incest pieces
nearest the street,
The sun begins to get up earlier, but it
is no mans business to try and be as great
AS the sun. Another thing, the sun always
has good fire to dress by.
Don't believe there's any use in vacci-
nation" said Yankee. 81 had a child
vaccinated, and he fell out of window
next day, and got killedv'
"A gentleman observed to another that
an officer i'll the army had left his house
without paying his rent. "Oh!' exclaimed
the other, "you mean the left-tenant."
1t was an old but good thing said by
French Photographer lately to the effect
that he hates girl when she is trying to
be a woman, and a woman when she is try
ing to be girl.
Josh Billings says: "The muwl is a
larger burd than guse or turkey. 1t has
two legs to walk with, and two more to
kick with, and it wears its wings on the
side of it's he'd
-Stable-keeper-" By the way, shall l
put 10 an extra buffalo?" English blood
"Couldn't you let me ave an 'orse, you
know? Er'er rather not drive buffalo for
the first time, you know"
1t is true that flowers and vegetables
are divided into sexes, and it is also true,
strange as it may appear, that they have
language of their own. You surely have
heard of Jack and the beams talk.
-'Ah,' said father to his son William,
"hearty breakfasts kill one half of the
world, and tremendous suppers the other
half 81 suppose, then" retorted William,
THAT the true livers are only they who die
of hunger
-" Barber" said farmer to his tonsor,
"now corn's cheap, you ought to shave for
half price" Cant, Mr.. JONES' said the
man of razors. 81 really ought to charge
more; for when corn's down the farmers
make such long faces that have twice the
ground to 60 over"
-" Is married preferable to single life?"
was argued at recent meeting of Penn
sylvania debating society. Only one mar
ried man appeared for the negative, aud he
came down to business next day with his
arm in a sling, green patch over his eye,
and a general appearance of having slept out
all night in the cellar area.
The difference between American and
English comic literature has been thus
cleverly put by Josh Billings: "Amerikans
love caustic things; they would prefer tur-
pentine to colone water, if they had to drink
either. So with the relish of humor; they
must hav it on the half shell with cayenne.
An Englishman wants hiz fun smothered
deep in mint sauce, and he il willing tew
wait till next day before he tastes it. If
yu tickle or convince an American, yu hav
got tew do it quick. An American luvs to
latf, but he don't luv to make Dizziness
ov it; he works. eats, and hawhaws on
canter. l guess the English hav more wit,
and the Americans more humor. We
havn't had time yet to bile down our humop<
and get the wit out ov it, The English
better puus,ers, but konsider p,nV
sort of literary sakriphise of spelliLE
which am pertickler.