The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1877-11-22
Wit and HumOr.

are pocket-books.
THE money and hair of fool are soon
parted in the middle.
COOP little bootblacks are shining ex.
amples of what boys can do.
To train up boy in the way he should
casionally.
PAT says: "And sure, nearly iviry
frind l hev lift in the woruld hez bin
did long SINCE"
In Arkansas neckties are cheap. The
crowd puts it around your neck, sings it
over tree, and it doesn't cost you any
thing.
THE young collegian who wrote home
for a new coat and got one mile too big,
suggests that that was not fitting"
reply.
DID you ever notice mans face under
the influence of first bite of rhubarb
pie which the cook had forgot to
sweeten9
WHAT is the difference between de-
linquent printer and a mad landlords
One tramps the track and the other tracks
the tramp.
A STORY is told of lady of fashion
who said she should like to go to Rome
to have her portrait painted by one of
the old masters.
AN exchange tells about boy climb
ing tomato vine to get away from a
mad dog. Tomato vines attain an enor-
nous size in California, so do lies.
A YOUNG man, who ought to be ashamed
of himself, in commenting on tireman's
parade, said that wet day was always
favorable for an exhibition of hose.
A GENTLEMAN who had been victimized
by notorious borrower, who always for
got to pay, called him one of the most
promising men Of his acquaintance.
any luck" exclaimed Bohemian,
sis so atrociously bad that l believe if l
were to invest in some soap, washing
would go out of fashion tomorrow.
The most puzzling thing about an ed
itorial shears is the antipathy usually ex-
listing between that useful article and the
italics found at the bottom of the para
graph.
Mrs. SPILKINs, reading that General
Crook had just captured hundred
lodges, devoutly expressed the wish that
her husbands lodge might be among the
number.
ANDREW JACKSON was accused of bad
spelling, but John Randolph defended
him by saying that "a man was fool
who could not spell word more ways
than one"
"THE train has caught up with those
cattle again." sleepily remarked pas
senger ON an Ohio railroad, as he was
awakened by the whistle of the engine
the other night.
A CONNECTICUT preacher says that a
good congregation will praise the music
the choir, the ventilation, and the civil
ties of the usher; but as to the sermon
"Well, l dunno"
MAN-''Do you think it would be safe
for me to cross this pastureT Maid
"Well, the old bull don't like red very
much, but if you will chalk your nose, |
guess he won't attack YOU"
"YoU amt afraid to die1" said the
clergyman, tenderly. NO." replied the
sufferer; "Im only afraid if do that the
old woman will go shooting among my
private papers the first thing"
HARRY TURN recently married his
cousin, of the same name. When inter
rogated as to why he did so, he replied
that it had always been maxim OF his
that zone good Turn deserves another"
A CERTAIN young and amiable prince,
pursuing in great haste beautiful lady
at Court. ''Your Highness is running
very fast" observed the lady. 81 am
only following my inclination" he
replied.
"WHY did you name that old horse Ma
poleonl" asked gentleman of Negro,
whose horse was almost reduced to a
skeleton. "Why, Marse, you see it's Gaze
the bony part is so strong in him." was
the reply.
A GENTLEMAN observed one day to
Henry Erskine, the Scottish advocate,
who was an inveterate punster, that pun
ming was the lowest sort Of wit. at is
So" answered he-"and therefore the
foundation Of wit"
A GENTLEMAN named Allen Hannah
m ,rried Miss Hannah Allen; now Miss
Hannah Allen is Mrs. Hannah Hannah,
probably the only lady in the world
whose whole name can be spelled back
ward the same as forward.
REVEREND sportsman was once boast