The Red Cloud chief., 1877-10-18
HUNOROUS.

VI uusStiob vi ehr Houi "uat 1iih0
is it?
A head waiter-The last man in a
crowded barber shop.
New Workers are troubled to get rid
of their garbage. They must remem-
Der that where there swill there's a
way.
Ladies weighed in here" is the sign
on a New York store. but whether they
do wade in" there or not We are not in
formed.
Nobody likes 20 Ia nobody: but ev-
eryboJy is pleased 10 think himself
somebody. And everybody is some
body; but when anybody thinks him
self everybody. he generally thinks ey-
erybody else is nobody.
An old school philosopher remarks
that if bread is the staff of life. pound
cake must be a ~gold-headad a
Doubtless il is true. AMI two lee creams
and a girl are a regular two-whesl~i
velocipeSie.
That's our family trea." SAID an Ar
kansas youth. As he pointed to a vIgpr-
| ous hemlock. and al led. "A COOL many
of IL folks have been hung on that
tree for borrowin horses after dark"
You can't drink so much brandy
with impunity." said a New York ply
stefan 10 a gouty patient. Perhaps not
with impunity. doctor. hu. with =
little peppermint | fancy | can ~ II"
was the serene reply.
as Mr.. Brown a man of means"
asked a gentleman of old Mrs. Fl1,e-
ton. Well. | reckon he ought q he.
drawled out the old lady. for he's the
meanest III n lii our town
4 French paper says a WON al com
mitted suicide in "a police cell by
lowing her ring. IL is evidently cell
this thing Vt a woman committing sui
eide 10y swallowing behring's.
The fellow who wanted - lncres"
wages by law will draw a hill prescrih-
ing that all land SHAY hereafter yield
thirty bushels of wheat 10 the acre.
Homes the place for b,y's." said a
stern parent To his son vii" Was fond
of going out at night. That's Just
what | think when You drive M oil ITO
school every morning" said the son
she saw the plactrd in front of this
bookstore. You can get That llus-
band of Mine" for half a dollar. and ~
she passed on. she muttered. IL have
one | will sell for half that much"
Il try to preach the milk 1fthr word.
said "a city clergyman Ia parishion"r
who demonstrated that his sermons
were too long. ~ ~" remarked the
other. but around here what VT want
is condensed milk"
An itinerant preacher of Virginia be-
ing invited To holt forth In n of IA"
back settlements, taking for his text the
words Though after my death skin
worms destroy this body. yet IN the
flesh shall | see g. Di. divide / his text
into three parts. thus First. the skin
worms; secondly. what they done. nd
thirdly, what the man saw when he
was eat up"
Scene i'll "A seaside restaurant Two
gentlemen hal dlnrl and were looking
at the bill. There was "A mistake in II.
In lieu of two bottles of Champagne
which had been consumed. the water
had only charged for one
"Shall We point out the thing" SAWS
one. probably the more scrupulous.
We'll. replied the other aftera moment
of doubt. eve had better not the waiter
would be sure tO be- .scoldei. poor fel-
low"
She was ironing when her SISTER came
in, with the news that an uncle was
dead. Dead" she gaspe'l. nearly drop
ping the iron from her hand. Her face
was very pale, as was that of her sister.
rs they both stood there with that awe
struck expression which a death leaves
upon the faces of the living. Dial
she repeated in "A faltering voice. II
doesn't seem possible. IL ~ ~ sudden.
40 unexpected. So dreadful that ] On
Scarcply saliZ IL What are yuu %