The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1877-08-04

presses by its weight the assemDlage OF
ariform vapors. Here was no alr-no
vapor, no motion, no sound, atmosphere,
! to produce either of these agents OF the
universe. No. Death was far away, yet
felt as if the very silence was killing
me. The buzzing of fly, the hum of a
bee. or the sound of that mysterious in
sect whose peculiar imitation of time
piece gives it the name OF the dead
watch" even that superstitious pleasure
was denied me.
There came change, sudden as it was
alarming. The brain began to throb.
The heart beat in unison. | felt its deep
pulsations; | heard its deep, heavy thud
against my breast. This | say | heard,
fori was part of myself. No other sound
outside of my own person could have
reached me there. / felt pain in my
head and BRAIN not an ordinary pang,
/ but one that struck at the base of reason.
Death was comingl Welcome! And l
laughed the wild, unmeaning laugh of
the maniac. And yet [ was not mad;
but SO near it that had not reason told
me it was approaching apoplexy, | would
have been raving. Welcome apoplexy!
1t, however, came not / rolled over and
over in my limited cell; screened; /
yelled and shouted for help, and yet all
the while / was perfectly conscious of
what | was doing. Death was playing
with me. l prayed, too, but did not
curse. No, no; for if | am to die-thus
L reasoned-let me die in peace with God.
These thoughts, the result of my early
religious education, kept my soul intact
with him who had the best right to it,
| endeayored to be calm, strove to rea-
son myself into patience, and wait the
coming day. Day! alas! what to me was
day? For here all was night. But rea-
son failed. 1t had no argument to con-
| flute facts Death was here and had to
meet it. But how? Alasl alas. that
mystery was yet to be solved. All was
so still, SO silent, that my faculties were
benumbed. | remember wondering if
the voice of the Diety could be heard in
that dreadful place. Was this blasphemy?
Perhaps it was; but was not then ac-
cOuntable for either my words or actions.
| was, for the moment, mad.
| took off my coat and made a pillow
of it. Sleep! Oh! if I could only
sleep, and, in forgetfulness, escape the
horrors of my waking moments. Sleep
was impossible. There was a constant
buzzing in my ears, acute pain in my
head-a vertigo that drove me again to
my feet, and | reeled round the limited
space in whirligig for life. | struck
my head against the side of the safe /
felt no pain, for there was no madness
in my acts, with just sufficient reason to
add to the horrors of my situation.
What could | do now but rave and yell,
calling for help, well knowing there was
no help at handl Why did my senses
remain to torture me thus? Why not
go mad and commit some fearful act to
end my misery? Because | was in the
hands of One who has issued his canon
against self-slaughter. | trusted to
Him. [ started to my feet My head
struck the top of the safe, and I was
dashed back again to the floor Again |
shouted, again laid fat on nay face and
called on death to end my woes The
shout was echoed in low, rumbling
sounds, which died away, leaving the
silence tenfold greater. Like the dark
ness preceding some greater shock Of
nature, its intenseness could be felt. |
felt it-felt it in my heartfelt it in my
brain-it was pressing me to death.
Had | nothing else to think of but
myself? Reader, | have given my own
mental and physical suferings while en-
tombed. | was not selfish even; [ ana
lyzed my own feelings, and seemingly
| forgot others outside of the tomb. What,
describe other INSTRUMENTATION that
sprung from pictures | could not bring
my mind to contemplate? Pictures of
home-of wife and children friends
all these seemed, in my state, as only
| adding to my misery, for | was doomed,
and they were for the time being happy.
| kept those pictures back.
l even magnifed my suffering 50 that
memory might be silent. | could not
contemplate in my excitement two dis
tinct events. | therefore settled all my
thoughts, fixed all my energies on one
object-self preservation. / would
strive to Twelve for those who were
even now wondering why was not with
them. Reader, [ strove as hard to for
get wife, children and friends, as | did
to master my dread of the horrible death
awaiting me. Understand me. No one
placed as [ could think of the past, pres
ent or future with any degree of calm
ness. The reasoning faculties~succumb-
cd to physical excitement; they became
antagonistic, and, although | endeavored
to separate the two, | became more con-
fused. [ could think of nothing but my
! own position. Beyond that, if attempted
to go, fcresaw madness. So, to avoid
all that, | centered all my thoughts on
one purpose-self preservation. To ac-
complish this, | could not even in
| thought, go beyond my prison house.
Why proceed-why even attempt to de-
scribe the suferings | underwent,
raved, | screeched, fell to the floor, rose
again, reeled in maddening fury around
my living tomb. | even meditated self
destruction. | argued the point with
l. /