Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1877-03-29

was impossible for a modern family to |
get along with its sewing without the aid |
of several machines, and handed me his |
card. think he mentioned ten as the |!
leafs number that could possibly be
thought of, under the circumstances.
Burying my fingers In my foretop l
hurried back to Polly.
II is utterly impossible to describe the
agony of the next few days. In the
morning / discovered that the windows
of certain tenement houses in the rear of
my dwelling, had been secured by agents
and that a dozen or so of machines, with
placards extolling their merits, had been
placed in them, on exhibition, for our
benefit. That night they sent up fire
balloon with a miniature machine attach
ed to it, which fell Off when it had got
pretty nearly up to heaven, and came
smashing through the sky-light, and land
ed on the front stairs. We considered
this trifiing episode, at the time, but it
turned out to be a newfangled automatic
| self-propelling machine and somehow it
got wound up in falling through the sky
light, and before morning it sewed the
edges of the stair carpet all together, and
felled, and gathered, and back-stitched,
the hall carpet, until one looked like a
woman's hustle, and the other like a gale
at sea, that had froze stiff and couldn't
move.
My wife was constantly in tears, but l
had no time to sympathiZe with her, for
We were besieged with an army of young
women, who came to teach us how to
operate. They were all pretty, and
agreeable, and 1 did not dislike this fea-
ture 30 much, but Mrs. l., after repeated
Mysteries, declared it as her intention to
drown herself in the cistern. This avert
ed by throwing q lot of the superfuous
machines into the cistern, and standing a
few on the lid
After the young women got US fully in
structed, and went away, l became lone
some, and in my desperation resolved to
make terms with my tormentors, at any
reasonable sacrifice. To this end / final
ly contracted for ten machines, to be
drawn by lot out of the whole number,
;, anl 49,. S;,s 80 no s0st4o.l- sy rnv.-TU my
surprise only half the agents went away
on the signing of this contract, and / was
informed that those remaining were what
were termed Grading agents." whose
, business consisted exclusively in trading
machines. In vain protested, they were
firm "a rocks, and would not bulge al
, inch unless i would trade, and with con
t siderable boot.
, ] refused.
E That night as lay listening to the sob'
;, of my wife, q brilliant idea struck me
: My dear" said /, do you know o
. anybody who has got smallpox in tn
i family,"
a mo, Solomon" said She, "if did
] would cheerfully take it and die with you
4 TO be rid OF our troubles"
e Next morning went out with my fac
g closely muffied, and a bottle of carboli'
e acid in my hand, and hung out yellow
d flag. 1t had the desired effect, and tn
y men went away at once. took tn
o muffiers of the door bells, and piled ava
:, the machines, and We sat down to the frs
d uninterrupted meal we bad enjoyed 70
II days. Betsy clambered from her perc
o upon the upper tension, and even Bride
ct reconsidered her determination to leav
and slowly meandered back over the cor
10 tents of the hall, and took her place i
l. the kitchen.
II In the afternoon the bell rang, and
,, man with a pockmarked face present
n ed himself and offered . proposition fo
{. what he termed "stunning trade"
D shut the door in his face. but it was n
b use; they kept coming all heavily pool
10 marked, until it seemed as though som
3, smallpox hospital must have gone bank
Is rupt to furnish them The muffiers ha
N to be replaced. Bridget gave notice AGAR
'e and ut night got over the back fence, an
g. left incog, and Betsy finding it impos
ID Bile to get back to her old perch. wer
re of, followed by an agent who locke
y liked q vaccinated scab, and who insiste
Q, on trading machines with her, with {
'e without boot. and finally would not leav
y her until she had invested in second
sr hand oil can. to be rio of him.
y There seems to be only one course LEI
TO u.s." said solemnly, to Mrs. Imp, IAN
y that is to get of quickly, and go to n
u agara, where men never poster people
& buy what they do not want" That nigf
&c we put our plans into execution. and Mr.
N /. Is now giving out her sewing to an Ii
o dian ~ woman. at fifteen cents var
e and is happy.
T. l have had circular struck OF, An
g sent to all the machine companies in th
% world, recommending them to take steI
% to remove their property from my dom
: Gle, at the same time requesting them
; inform their agents, trading, selling, an
&C smallpox, that shall make long tarr
e abroad.