Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1877-12-07
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"A a
has climbed four pairs of stairs and made
IL half dozen turns, he finds himself at the
door of the chief editorial room Of the
Philadelphia ''Bulletin.'' Max Adeler Sits
just inside, and as the stranger enters he is
seated at Adeler's right hand. He Is seat
ed in an old-fashioned split-bottomed
Chair; the bottom of which has gone to
look for the dust of the pilgrim fathers.
There's d newspaper spread over the va
cant spot, and MI. Adeler cheertully re-
marks:
''Sit right down-fne day-when did you
arIive?''
The man sits down. 1t he is small
man he sits on the floor, his feet slant to-
wards the ceiling, his knees dig into his
throat, and his back is dreadfully bent,
while his hat is damned over his eyes.
Fell through, eh?" inquiries MIR. AIDE
Ter as he looks around. '.How do you like
Philadelphia"
The stranger struggles, finds himself
fast, and asks to be eXtricated. He is POI
litely informed that it is against the rules
of the office to eXtricate any one who falls
through the chair in which Artemus Ward
used to sit, and is in just the condition he
left it.
''Does Philadelphia come up to yolr
ideas?" kindly inquiries Mr.. Adeler as he
opens another exchange.
The stranger sets to work to bust that
chair or break his back, but he can do
neither. He thinks the joke has been carried
far enough, but is informed that it is not
joke-that no man around that Office was
ever more sober in his life.
The visitor tries to laugh, and remarks
that five minutes more will finish his spi-
nal column.
sob, no it WON'T" replies Mr.. Adeler.
''Why, l have known men who were on the
verge Of the grave to live i'll your position
for one hour and sixteen minutes' ~
After quarter OF all hour or more Mr..
Adeler calls in three more editors and iI-
troduces theu to the stranger, and they
want to know if he is pleased with Pnlla-
depllia, and if he has any hard feelings
against the memory of William Penn.
Five minutes Is then spent in debating
der 4 suspension OF the rules. Tile vote is
a tie, and the city editor is called in to
cast a ballot. He makes d speech, explain
ing his reasons for voting yes and after
twenty-five minutes have passed away The
stranger is released, photograph IF Will
liam Penn given him, and he is told THAT
any street-car liue will take him To The
Centen niai grounds. Detroit Free Press.
A wood teamster yesterday had mole
business to transact with tile occupant of
room in the top story of a block on Girls
void street, and DIS he reached the landing
OF the last flight of stairs his heels caught
and down he rolled, humping from stair
stair, and unable to catch kold Ut any
thing.
a lawyer leaned over the stairs, as h
heard the noise, and shouted:
You'll strike bottom pretty quick
don t get discouraged
business recovering, Mr.. Veneer?"
asked customer IF furniture deal
Yes grow!ed the tradesman; business
is recovering. and that's all it is. We a;
doing nothing but recovering old fur
ture; have not sold stick of new TO :,
fortnight And then the subject was laid
on the table.
It was very careless to leave the parrot
in the pIrlor Sunday evening, but She nev
er thought anything about it until Monday
morning, when he ouSed the whole house
10y making smacking noise and crying:
.'Darling Susie darling Susie!" He kent
it up all day. and the old folks are much
interested in the case.
When kitten craWls in bed with you at
two O'Clock in the morning, and you throw
it on the floor. and it crawls back, and you
pitch it out of the window, and it climbs
on the roof. and comes in at tie attic, and
takes its place in the bed again, what can
:, poor woman do but cry ?-Frankfort
YeOnldn.
my son, would you suppose the. Lords
prayer conld be engraved in space no
lai ger than the area of a nickle cent ?'
NV ell, yes, father, if a cent is as big in
everybody's eye as it is in yours, l think
there would he no difficulty in put
ting IT. on about four times.''
Recently newly married couple were in
store on State street looking for suit BILE
ornaments to adorn their rooms. The
young wife was quite pleased with the pic
ture entitled. "Suffer little children to
come unto me-" which they hought-Ntao-
burypprt HeeaJl.
A waiter at one Of the Atlantic City
hotels, Dane, converses with the guests
in five European languages but unles 3 he
can carry plate of soup without MINERS
5ny his thumbs two inches in the liquid.
his education is far from complete.--Yor-
ristolUn Herald.
A tall tramp looked in at brokers'
.f1i.-e the other day. His imposing height
st rtled tie broker. BLESS me" said he,
my man how high do you stand in your
stockings 20 stockings j. was the reply.
Il amt got none.'
A gentleman had occasion to correct his
daughter, aged four. recently. After it
was over and her fanaer sat while, she
went to her mother and inquired, 'sDonst
sou think it woald do papa good to go out
doors p
"Egyptologist'' writes to know if Cleo
patra did her own sewing. We can't say
positively, but from what little we remem-
Der of that ancient lady we think if she
snwed anything it was wild oats.
A lady rather inclined to fiirt, says most