Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1877-06-06


his wife never did anything right in the
house. So one evening in hay-making
time he came home scolding, and show
ing his teeth and making dust.
Dear love, don't, that's good
man" said his goody; Tomorrow let's
change our work; I'll go with the
mowers and NOW, and you shall mind
the house."
Yes! the husband thought that would
do well. He was quite willing, he said.
| So early next morning his goody
took scythe over her shoulder and
went out into the bayfield, with the
mowers and began to NOV; but the
man was to mind the house and do the
work at home.
| First he wanted to churn butter,
and when he had churned awhile he got
thirsty and went down to the cellar to
tap a barrel Of ale. So, just when had
knocked in the bung, and, and was
putting the tap in the cask, he heard
the pig come into the kitchen overhead.
Then off he ran up the cellar stairs,
with the tap in his hand, as fast as he
could, to look after the pig lest it should
upset the churn. But when he got up
and saw that the pig had already knock
ed the churn over aud stood there root
| ing and grunting among the cream,
which was running all over the floor,
he got so wild with rage that he quite
forget the ale barrel and rushed at the
pig as hard as be could. He caught it,
too, just as it ran out Of the door, and
gave it such a kick that piggy lay for
dead on the spot-then all at once he
remembered that he had the tap in his
hand and when he got down to the
cellar every drop Of ale had run out of
the cask.
Then he went into the dairy and
found enough cream left to fill the churn
again, and so he began to churn, for the
butter he must have for dinner. When
he had churned bit he remembered
that the milking COW was still shut up in
the barn, and hadn't had a bit to eat or
a drop to drink all morning, though the
sun was high. Then all at once he
| thought it was too far to take her to the
meadow, so he'd just get her up on the
house top, for the house, you must
know, was matched with sods, and a
fine crop was growing there. Now
their house lay close up against steep
down, and he thought if he had plank
across to the thatch at the back he'd
easily get the coWup.
| But still he couldn't leave the churn,
for there was his little babe crawling
about on the floor, and if he left it he
thought the child was sure to upset it.
So be took the churn on his back and
went out with it; but then he thought
he'd better first water the cow before
he turned her out on the thatch; so he
took up bucket to draw water out of
the we'll but as he stopped down at the
Wells brink all the cream ran out of the
churn over his shoulders and so down
into the well.
Now 1t was near dinner time. and he
had not even got the butter yet; so he
thought he had better boil the porridge,
and filled the pot with water and hung
it over the fire. When he had done
that he thought the cow might perhaps
fall of the thatch and break her legs or
neck. So he got up on the house to tie
her up. One end Of the rope be tied
fast to the cows neck, and the other
he slipped down the chimney and tied
round bis own thigh; and he began to
make haste, for the water now began to
boil in the pot, and he had still to grind
the oatmeal.
So be began to grind away, hut while
he was hard at it down fell the cow off
the house top after all, and as she fell
she dragged the man up the chimney by
the rope. There he stuck fast, and as
far the COW, she hung half way down
the wall, swinging between heaven and
earth, for she could neither get up nor
down.
And now the goody had waited seven
lengths and seven breadths for her hus-
band to come and call them to dinner;
but never a call had they had. At last
she thought she'd waited long enough
and went home. But when she got
there and found the COW hanging in
such an ugly place she ran up and cut
the rope in two with her scythe. But
as she did this down came her husband
out of the chimney, and so when his
old dame came inside the kitchen, there
she found him standing on his head in
the porridge pot.