Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1877-08-03

didn't take into the ark with him. have
looked over the freight list carefully, and
could notsee mule way-billed for any place.
So clear-headed man a5 Noah did not care
to take one on board. as he knew he would
k ok a hole through her in less than week.
L don't know a man on whose head you could
pour quicksilver and run less risk of its spill
ing off than on Noahs. He was n dreadful
leyel-headed man, and lciore the freshet was
over everybody on earth realized the fact.
The origin of the mule is enveloped in a
good deal of mystery. Tradition informs Us
that when the flood had subsidized and the ark
had landed at Mount Ararat. Neah was very
much surprised in one of his first obserya-
tions to find good healthy mule standing
on the top of an adjoining mountain. The
same tradition informs us that the mule is
the only animal that lived through the flood
outside OF the ark.
The mule can be considered in good
many ways, though the worst place from
which to consider him is directly from be
| hind, anywhere within "A radius OF ten feet |
never consider mule from that point, unless
l am looking through the fue of a boiler.
Sea captains and people who have TO do
with mules always pay an extra rate to life
country in which yellow fever is indigenous
generally stand the same as regards the death
| rate.
The word mule comes from the Greek, and
signifies "to STOP" and the mule himself
comes to stop also. Like multiplied by like
produces like. Grasshoppers multiplied by
grasshoppers produce famine, and potato
bugs multiplied by potato bugs produce a
rise in the price of yeast. But when you try
to multiply mules by mules they don't multi
ply, and hence the word mule. You may
study your arithmetic and read through all
of Trains lectures, but you cannot discover
why this is SO, any more than you can why
woman cannot put on rubber without lean
ing up against something.
The mule has one more leg than milking
stool, and he can stand on one and wave the
other three round in as many different direc
tions He has only three senses, hearing,
seeing and smelling He has no more sense
of taste than a stone jug, and will eat any
thing that contains nutriment, and he don't
care two cents whether it be one per cent. or
ninety-nine. All he asks is to pass him along
his plate. with whatever happens to be handy
around the pantry, and he won't 60 away and
blow how poor the steak is. He Just eats
whatever is set before him, and asks no ques-
tions.
Mules are naturally deaf, but that supreme
wisdom that teaches the little boy TO wipe
his nose on his sleeve has fitted ihe mule out
with pair of ears that counteracts its deaf
ness, SO he can hear as readily as person
when you don't want him to. These ears
answer double purpose-ss tunnels to pour
sound into his ears and also as fans to brush
away the flies with and keep his head cool.
They are hung by hinges to the sides of his
head, and flap backward and forward like
pair Of wet trousers round a boys legs. In
cold attitudes quite tasty business is done
in mules ears. The ears are cut off and
dried, and sold for snow-shoes, and then the
stubs are trimmed up and the mules are sent
South and sold for horses. In this way
great many fine horses were purchased for
the army Of the United States
If were to have large picture of inno-
cence TO hang up in my parlor and did not
wish to sit for it myself, should get cor
rect likeness of a mule. There is innocence
enough depicted in a mules countenance to
fit out a Sunday school class. 1t looks as
guileless as an angle worm.
A mule never grows old or dies Once
brought into existence, he continues on for
ever. The original mule is now alive some
where in the South.
Mules are chiefly found in the South and
West. They have been more abused than
Judas Iscariot. boy who would not throw
O stone at mule if he got chance would he
considered by his parents as too mean to
raise
The mule is good worker, but he cannot
be depended on. He is liable to strike, and
when a mule strikes human calculation fails
to find out any rule by which to reckon when
he will go to work again. 1t is useless to
pound him, for he will stand more beating
than sitting-room carpet. He has been
known to stand IL days in one spot, appa-
rently thinking OF something. and then start
off again as though nothing had happened.
Down South when they have Il surplus of
small darkeys on the plantation, they send
them out into the barn-yard to play, where
there is loose mule. They always bid them
goodbye when they start out, for they are
sure the parting will be final. This is the
most economical style of funeral now in the
market.
To fully appreciate the mule, one should |
listen to his voice You never can really |
know whether you like a mule or not till you
have heard him sing. | attended mule |
at Fort Smelling. The programme |
opened with soprano solo, and then swung |
INTO duet, and then pranced off into trio, |
followed up by quartette and ending with |
a full chorus by $50 mules. Ididn't hear the |
whole thing, for when l came to, the regi- |
mental surgeon was standing over me, giving |
me powerful restoratives, and / heard him |
say that might possibly get out again, |
though | would never be well man again. | |
have been through the New York stock ex-
change, and spent part of u day in boiler |
factory, and have been on one or two Sunday |
school excursions for children, but | never
knew what noise was till heard lot ofarmy
mules bray.
One of the dead ceriaintes about mule is
that he is sure-footed especially with his hind
feet. He never misplaces them. If he ad-
vertises that his feet will be at a certain spot
At a certain time. with a sample ofmule shoes
to which We would call your attention. you
will always find them there at the appointed
time. He is as reliable as the day of judg-
ment, and he never cancels an engagement.
Every man now living who drove u mule
team during the war now draws pension.
l never owned a mule. | came near buy
ng one once. He was fine looking animal
his ears stood up like the side spires on an
Episcopal church. His tail was trimmed
down so that it looked like tar brush lean
ing up against him. He was striped of like
the American flag. and Raphaels cherubs
never looked more angelic than did that mule.
lie looked all innocence, though he WAS in
40 sense. The owner sat in the wagon with
lis chin resting on his hand and his elbow
'esting on his knee. In the other hand he
leld Il stick with a brad in the end of it. |
,xamined the mule and asked the man II few
questions, and out OF mere form inquired if
he mule was kind, or ifhe kicked? "kind?
Kick Z" said the man, and those were the last
words he ever uttered. He reached his stick
'ver the front of the wagon, and stuck the
)rad INTO that mule. 1t was awful to see
nan snutied out as quickly as he was. 1t
'lmost took away my breath he went so sud
ienly. never saw the thread of life snap
10 abruptly as 1t did on that occasion. He
ildnt have time to leave Il message for his
amlly. That mule simply ducked his head,
md then pair of heels flew out behind
here was a crush, flying of splinters, and
hnt was all and the next moment that mule
md stood alone. my face covered with as
onlshment two feet deep, and his covered
with part of an old bride. The next day |
cad IN account in the telegraphic news OF
hover of flesh in Kentucky. was the only
nan that could explain that phenomenon,
md did not dare to. lest should be impli-
'ated in the affair with the other mule.
have seen death in many. forms, but I
lon't recollect of ever seeing a funeral got
en- up with less pomp and display than on
hat occasion. 1t | had my choice, to either
work IN a nitro-glycerine factory, or take care
II mule, | should 90 for the factory, as IN
ase OF an explosion. there would be more
'ossibility of my friends finding some little
of me, with which to assuage
heir grief. A very small piece of me would
lghten very big sorrow.
will hunt round and if find any other
acts that belong to mule. | will write them
lown. and send them to you 10y express &.
D.. ID.
JENNY LINp A M"TuFR AT FWTI-SN. In n
etter to n friend in Paris, Jenny Lind. now
iity-siN years old, writes from Dresden,
where she now livei, as follows 81 must
ell you that God has given my dear husband
nd myself an adorable little giTl. born ON
he 3lst of March last. She Is the perfect
mage d health and happiness. She laughs
nd crows in n way to delight all sympathetic
learts. We have given her little kathn-
me among her other names. but We call her
emmy, need not say in honor of whom.
lur hny Walter will las fnur vpnrs oil tha ptb |