The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1877-01-18
Mark TwA,S-s srRecn At rnE y. X.
DtNkEu
TuE OLDEST INuAnTTAST-rn WEATHER.
whe bah los. Aua doth fofgsstl
VIE bath il stsl and doth regret ~
"mtsrrbse bttpitl uf Tsrala

New Englaud hut the weather, ! don't
know who makos that, but think Il
musi be raw apprentices 10 the weather
clerks factory who experiment aud learn
bow, 10 New England, for board aud
clothes, and then are promoted TO make
weather for countries that require good
article and win take their custom else.
where u they don't get IL.
There Is sump.uous variety Aboui the
New Englsnd weather that eompels the
strangers admiration and regret. The
weather is always doing something there
always attending strictly TO business, all
ways getting up new designs and trying
them on the people to sec how they will
10. But it gets through more business
IL spring than 10 any other season. In
the spring, have counted 1856 different
kinds ofweather inside Of ffour-and-twen.
ty hours.
II was | that made tbe'fsme aud for
tune ~ thAt man that had the marvellous
collection OF weather on exhibition at the
centennial that so astounded the foreign
ers. lie was going to travel all over the
world and get specimens from all the cli-
mates. said, Don't you do II; you
oome 10 New England on favorable
speing day | told him what we could
do iii the way OF style, variety and quau.
tity. Well, he came, and he made his
collection in four days. As to variety;
why, be confessed that be got hundreds
Of kinds oi weather that be had never
heard OF before. Aud as TO quantity;
well, after. he had picked out aud discar-
ded all that WAS blemished 10 any way,
he not only had weather enough, but
weather TO spale; weather TO hire out
weather TO sell To deposits; weather to
iovest; weather to give TO the poor
The people OF New England are by ma.
ture patient aud folbearing; but there
are some things which they will not
stand. Every year, they kill lot of po-
ets for writing about Beautiful Spring.
These are generally casual visitors, who
bring their notions Of spring from some
where else, aud connoi, of course, know
how tho natives feel about spring. Aad
SO, The first thing they know, the oppor-
tunily 10 inquire how they feel has per-
mansntly gone by.
Old Probabilities has mighty reputa-
ton for accurate prophecy, aud thorough.
ly well deserves it. You take up the pa-
per aud observe how crisply and conf
IDENTIFY he checks of what to days wealth.
er is going to be, on the Paeihe-down
South lin the middle states--in the Wis.,
consin region--see him sail along iu the
Joy and pride OF his power I'll he gets to
New England-and then see his tail
drop. lie deesn't know what the woa-
ther is going to be in New England. He
can't any more tell than he can tell how
many presidents Of the United States
there's going TO be, next year. Well, be
mulls over 1t, and, by and by, he gets out
something Ike this: Probable nor'east
to ouwest winds, varying TO the south
ard and westlard and BASTARD and points
between high and low barometer, swap
ping around from place to place; proba-
bic areas Of rain, snow, hail and drouth,
succeeded or preceded by earthquakes,
with thunder and lightning Then be
jots down this postscript from his wander
/ ing mind, to cover accidents: "But II is
posslbldt that The bprogrdlnme may be
wholly changed ia The mean lime"
Yes, one OF tie brightest gems IN the
New England weather i the dpzzling
uncerlaiuiy Of it, There is only one
thing certain about it You are certain
there Il goiug 10 he plenty Of weather
perfect grand review -bnt !on never
can tell s hicb end oi me process ION is
going to move 6rst. YJu fx for the
dfouih; you leave your umbrella iu the
bouse, and sally Out wlh your sprink-
Ilins-poi, aud sen 10 one you get drown
ed; yoa make up Jour mind lhal the
1 thlfNJ HAht - hHN : " 7iH'"t - ~ "''''''
and take hold ~ something 10 steady
yourself, and, tie Iir-t hing you know
you grr urnck ny lightning These are
great dissppoinImeas. Bat they cart
b6 helped The lightning there is pecn-
liar |; IL is 30 convincing when II strikes
a thing, Il doesn't leave enough Of that
thing behind for you 10 tell wheshcr--
well, you'd think il was something valu-
able, aud congressman had been there.
And the thunder. When the thunder
merely commences 10 tune up, aud scrape
aud saw, and key up the instruments for
the performance, strangers say, Why,
wba, awful thunder you have berei But
when the baton is raised, and the rus !
concert begins, you'll Gnd ihat stranger
down in the cellar with his bead iu Lhe
ash,barfeI. Now ~ 10 the size ol the
weather jn. New England -lepgih ways,
I nean-ili. uttsfiy tli.propOttloned 10
fibc sizs Of HAT little conhtr} llalfihe
time. when Il II packed az fail MS L can
slick, you viii see ihst New Eng aDd
weather sticking ont beyond tie edges
aud pr jscling afouHd, handfeds aud
hundreds Of miles, over the ueighbofiug
slale. She can't bold tenth part Of her
weather Yoa can see cracks 81 about,
where she has strained herseif irsing 70
DIR.
could speak yolomes aboat lhe iuhu.
nau perysphyof the New EngIand sea
ther. bat will give bat single spsei.
meu. ike 10 hear rain on iiu root
So covered paft Of ny rooi @iib liu,
With an eye 70 that luxarg. Well, sir,
N A Nm ihfnE n nuar ralu. ~. tl.at I'm Z