Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1877-03-14
SNEAK.
BY WM. L. LEAF.

NJ W IA.
Sneak, without doubt, is a character
most everybody knows. That he is
possessed of certain qualities every body
does not fully understand, will become
more and more apparent. To rightly
introduce to the reader the character
in question, allow me first of
all to state, / do it without pre-
judice and with a feeling of right. for
be 1t known, there are 20 day running
at large an army of Sneaks of no real
value TO the community in which they
live. needing but slight reminder
such as desire to introduce-tO put
them on their guard. After this article
has been perused and reflected upOD,
none can hesitate to agree with me that
Sneak has rot been too harshly dealt
with. Let me begin by saying. Sneak
has run through all the circle of scan
dalism; whatever is most base, bastard
ly, and contemplate, Sneak has COM
mitted. Is lie TO be told you of any
one, Sneak writes ycu:
rA otft ill-tstN HAS IuSt
died, and lt is said has willed to you
an immense fortune. Favor me with
s. and the news will be kept secret
until further information is obtained.
Six.
No man has been so often kicked as
Sneak; his whole carcass is branded
with the contumely of castigation.
Sneak is III heart the most miserable
of men; he is poisoned by his own dis
grace; he knows that every man loaths
him; he strives to buoy himself from
''the graveolent abyss OF his infamy
by grasping at some one far superior
to him. One man Of considerable prom
inence, with one shred of character left
to his back, promised TO dine with him,
and has been stark naked of character
ever since. Sneak has stuck up a
wooden box, on which, in very cOnspic
uOus letters the following words have
been painted: "Poor and Needy. Con-
tributIons Thankfully Received" and
daily makes his rounds, To peep into it,
or give it good shake, to ascertain
whether anybody has been foolish
enough to favor him with their patron
age. In vain would ingenuity dissoci
ate the name of Sneak from the thought
of the scavenger. OF all melancholy
and disappointed persons, Sneak in this
day is perhaps the most. Observe that
pale and discontented cOuntenance, that
air at once shy and proud: he has no
pleasure in the social world; he is awk-
ward and gloomy; for he lives not in
the present; he pluuges into an imag-
mary future never to be realized. He
goes into the world thinking the world
must admire him, and ask, .Who is
that interesting young man Z" lie has
10 sympathy with other mems amuse-
ments; he expects all men TO have SYM
pathy with him. But who is this dry
and austere young man, with sneer on
lip and spectacles on nose-he is Sneak.
He looks down if you utter the word
soul and laughs in his sleeve; he
cannot think how you can possibly be
lieve what seems to him such evident
nonsense; he is very fond of political
economy, and applies its principles to
all things; he does not think that gov
ernment should interfere with educa-
ton, because it should not interfere
about money; he fails to see that a
poor man will strive for wealth, that !
an immoral man will not strive for I
morality; that an ignorant man will 1
not run after knowledge; that govern !
ment should tempt to virtue, but hu-
man passions viii tend to wealth. lie |
sets up for man of business, by much 1
dexterity and continuous extensive |
advertising becomes popular, and be-
lieves he has reached such degree of |
that no matter what he may |
desire, it can easily be obtained; ex-
pertinent makes known his willingness |
TO serve his constituents as an VI. c.; is /
defeated; prOnounces the game fraud,
and sinks into fOrgetfulness; he would |
beg, if successful, to be put upon the |
dullest committees; he would not lose |
an hour of twaddle for the world; he |
would never speak without having |
learned every sentence by heart. Look \
again, nine times out of ten, the charac-
ter in question, is the son of a well to-
do man; he becomes clerk in an extern
sive mercantile house; his very pulse
seems tOenteT its accounts in the ledger
book and every thing for time works
tremendously. You will observe Sneak
to play-as all are accus-
toned To do, after few months service
tricks of no small amount. You will
observe him calling boy following the
profession of "black your bOots,n to
give his little brushing, and when
finished, has the impudence to beg
credit until to morrow. Walk few
steps more, and who shall you see, inst
turning the corner, but Sneak, with
in hand, for which, with the
ease and dexterity of well trained
clown, he gives the newsboy the slip,
leaving the little fellow minus three
cents, Sneak, for some reason or other
takes it into his head that newsbOys
are not little forgetfnl, and on the
morrow looks for the same boy cheated
He need not wait long. for
sooner than calculated the same boy
puts in an appearance, and Sneak with
smiling face, very quietly remarks,
sunny | am broke; not got cent:
will you trust me until tomorrow
am Jonathan Sneak; everybody knows
me, so do you, my boy~ "All right sir,
take it, Mr.. Sneak another point
said Sneak, 81 wonder who |
can do next. This doing everybody
seems to pay. 1t is much better to act
he rascal in gentlemanly way, than to
10 it on the sly" So thinks Sneak, and
who knows but what his way of think
ing is about right, when taking into
the large number of be-
ngs daily "doing" everybody with the
Dretense of being gentlemen. Sneak
meets with a new acquaintance. offers
him a segar, and very genteely requests
lim to partake of few "smiles." OF
course his friend never formed the
habit of saying no." and both entered
". ('Iorlas Dutun-S ca1nnr with fhaI