Mexico weekly ledger., 1877-05-10

also. / have since developed up q
stomach that don't get it's back up at
every passing bad smell. Loud
laughter. ----- ..,----.-..
ra But of all the things that afflicted
me in my early experience as a physi-
clan the idea of a consultation was
the worst. | dreaded meeting the
old physicians. I thought gray hairs
and wisdom were synonymous words.
There was a man practicing :. in that
country who had been there, well,
ever since the food. He had won-
dcrful reputation. I put the thing off
as long as could, but the inevitable
came at last. One Of the promine mt
men Of my neighborhood got sick with
pneumonia, and when the lung had
/ solidified, and he had passed near
unto death, honestly fnIorIneu 'iie
f,..:l,- 81 -1aA,aesarnIlS cOndtlOn.
OF course they wanted Smith: call
him Smith, because that was not his
name Smith came, and l met him
with fear and trembling He wore Il
No. 3 hat and No. 13 boot. l gave
him the history Of my case and the
treatment, and awaited the coming
storm. I expected to be. overwhelmed
with flood of technieaHties and with
his wonderful knowledge OF pathology
ich anatomy He looked at me
through his spectacles with the. gravity
of an owl, and said:
"Doctor, did you ever try a black
cat sein poultice in these cases?'
re / admitted that in my ignorance l
never had. uproarious laughter.
l thought it a good time TO get out
of the case. Sol informed the fam
lily that, as DIR. Smith had been their
family physician before they knew
me, he had better take the case. They
were only too glad tomake the change.
That was an awtinl and a calamitous
night on cats, especially black cats.
Applause and laughter. '
The man died, and Smith told them
that if he had seen the case 2 hours
earlier, and had succeeded in getting
'leetle" blacker cat, he would have
saved him. Laughter. The family
still think so. Sacred be the memory
of Smith; he has been gathered to his
fathers. E .. . .....
My next consultation was with q
man whom, for convenience, shall
call Jones. rode fifteen miles on a
dark night to meet him. When | went
into the cabin L was met by terrible
smell which gave me Spasmodic asth-
ma. | thought they We're burning old
boot heels, Jones arose from one cor
ner Of the room and introduced him.
self. | saw at once that he was man
of high standing in his profession
six feet three in his stocking feet.
Laughter. He had but one eye,
and his nose looked like a rcd lantern
in Democratic torch light process
sion. Laughter. When he lowered
above me and beamed on me with his
Is7rT7'd. FG-aughter. l asked whence
came that awful smell. He said that
he was burning ehicken feathers under
the bed to bring away a retained
placenat!' lie added that he had
always heard that Dominicker feathers
were the best. Loud laughter. The
pot was removed on account Of my
asthma. When / came to examine
the case found the poor woman COW
cred all over with ears Of hot corn.
The doctor said that he had always
heard that boiled corn was good in
these cases. / told him thought it
was good-for horses. The woman
died, but l am sorry to say that Jones
still lives. Laughter and loud ap-
plause.
L have been requested to give, for
the benefit of those who make a spe-
cialty of diseases of the ear, q case
of deafness that l didn't treat. The
man came into my Office with pc
culiar, listening expression on his
face, and putting his right hand be-
hind his ear, he said in a voice that
showed evident enlargement Of his
tonsils:
s''Is this DR.. Kings office? Doctor,
I've come to see if you could cure
my deafness. Eve been deaf for
long time, and I've tried good many
doctors, and they amt done me no
good, and I've paid out a heap of
money, and I'm mighty poor man
you mustn't charge me much. Do
you think you can cure ne?'
'.Hah !" said, II don't know
He said, ''Hah! I don't know
F l said at the top. of my voice, may
be you had better go to an amist.''
''Dr. Forest said he, is he good
doctor?"
81 didn't say Forest,'' L replied;
II said auriSt, man who treats dis
eases of the ear" in a voice loud
enough to split him from end to end.
"Iie said: '.IIah!"
sob, 60 down stairs and soak your
feet, l said, not knowing what else
to say. aas ssesr 5@aaE a-4sf=
: ''Soakum and Peet," said he; '.do
they cure deafness? Do you think
they can cure me? -
| adjourned on him to get rid of
him. | am going 70 send him to my
P. friend DIR. Spencer. Laughter.
i Mr.. President, am glad / came
! here, and especially glad to meet so
many gentlemen of the profession. I
always go away from these meetings
feeling about two feet taller than when
came, After partaking of the hos
!. pitality of the people Of Kansas City
and enjoying this magnificent banquet
feel Ike staying here always, but as
l can't do that, | have concluded to
take Kansas City home with me-. 1t
would make such nice suburb to Se-
tdalia. [Applause.1 l came near
Egoing home this afternoon, and if I
had L would not have been here to-
night believe that is logical
statement. Next to being truthful L
desire to be logical. Gentlemen, I
thank you for your kind attention.
| Long and continued applause.
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