The Lake County star., 1877-04-05
Remarkable Discovery OF a New Zea.
land Missionary.

L
Neither DIR. Ponza nor Gen. Pleasonton
was the first person who made use of the
medicinal properties of the color blue.
DR.. Ponza discovered that blue glass
exercised a most beneficial influence
upon insane patients, and thereupon
Gen. PleasontOn tried it, and was 80 de-
lighted with its effect that he published
pamphlet upon the subject. Both OF
these distinguished men were, however,
anticipated by the traditional monkey,
who painted the tip of his tail sky-blue
and complacently remarked that the ef-
feet was "neat but not gaudy." He,
doubtless, did not fully understand the
hygienic properties of blue, but of him
it may certainly be said that he painted
better than he knew. Beyond doubt
his blue tail outgrew the uncivilized
tails of his fellow-monkeys, and thus il
Illustrated the value of blue centuries be-
fore POnA or Pleasanton entertained the
least idea of being born.
1t is narrow conception of the useful
ness of blue which requires us to use it
in the shape of blue glass. If blue glass
is good, so is blue paint, blue cloth and
blue curtains. The truth has already
been dimly perceived by one or two of
Gen. PleasontOn's disciples, but it was
left for returned missionary to prove
that blue in any form always retains its
wonderful tonic properties. The mission.
ary in question spent large part of his
life in New Zealand, where he moved in
the best heathen circles and enjoyed the
friendship of the most eminent cannibals
The New Zealander is addicted to
tattooing himself in great variety of
patterns and colors, and the missionary
soon noticed that those who were tattooed
blue were much more stalwart than red,
green, or yellow heather. He found,
moreover, that heather who tattooed
himself blue above the waist and yellow
below would soon develop great breadth
of chest and power of lungs, while his
yellow legs would shrink and dwindle
into comparative insigniicance. The
meaning of these facts could not be mis-
apprehended, and the missionary was
forced to believe that the effect of blue
pigment, introduced under the human
cuticle, is in the highest degree bene.
fetal.
1t would not be difficult to show that
blue clothing has also stimulating
effect upon the wearer. Daniel Webster
always wore a blue coat, and it is need
less to remark that he was simply full of
intellect. Andrew johnson was also
addicted to blue coats, whence doubtless
he derived that wonderful strength of
mind that irreverent persons mistook for
obstinacy. The blue-unifOrmed federal
soldiers Overpowered the gray legions of
the South, and the blue coated French
troops which had uniformly beaten the
white-coated Austrians, were neverthe-
less defeated by Germans dressed in uni
forms of a still darker shade of blue. 1t
should be no.ed, however, that blue
clothing, while its influence upon the
brain cannot be doubted, has little or no
effect upon the body. 1t stimulates the
intellect, develops courage and other
moral qualities, but it does not affect
growth and development of the physical
frame. Thus the wearing of blue stock
ings undoubtedly stimulates the intel
lectual powers of New England ladies
who write poetry and advocate the i'm
mediate reformation of every thing, but
there is no reason to suppose that it de-
velops-that is to say, that it improves
the proportions-in short, it does moth
ing Of the kind. All the evidence goes
to show that blue stocking benefit the
mind and not the muscles, and in this
respect blue clothing amy sort ismuch
inferior to glass or tattooing.
We need not, then, waste our time by
dressing in blue or by sitting under blue
glass. Tattooing is what we really need.
A blue band, two inches wide, pricked
prove sovereign prophy Tactic against
headaches, while those who have the
courage to have their heads shaved and
their scalps tattooed with Antwerp blue
will develop brain power at a rate which
Will astonish. Instead of painfully under
going gymnastic torture, young men
covetous of muscle need only tattoo their
arms and chests in order to rival Yale
oarsman in physical strength, and could
maintain their digestive powers unim-
paired among all the horrors of the
boarding. house table by simply tattooing
broad blue belt around the lower vest
pocket region.
But, after all, why should we prick
blue paint into our surface when we can
dye ourselves perfectly blue by simply
swallowing excessive doses of nitrate of
silverY The process isperfectly painless,
and it has the advantage of colorirg not
only the cuticle but the entire tissue of
the body, as anyone cah readily ascertain
by first dying himself deep blue and then
sinking experimental shafts in different
parts of his person. The truth is, the
white man is mistake. he should
have been born blue, and since he now
knows that to be blue is to be healthy
and probably wealthy and wise-and
that nitrate of silver will turn him
quickly and permanently blue, he should
throw away his blue glass and his blue
clothing, and swallow the largest doses
Of nitrate of silver that his physician
can be induced to prescribe.