Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1877-01-26
HERE AND THERE.
Young and Old.

Cold as the rock and WHO as the oreezc
They kiss US indy and speak US lair,
Bu; We know their hearts are otheru here
On, my sons my son till he get him wife,
But my daughters my dAug hter all her lie.
When we are young our days are bright,
And full OF hope f.om morn till pigLti
Nhep we are old we sit alone.
And think Of plessant days long gone.
when the house was IN a OF the cAildren's noise,
The wiliul sr s and the naughty boys.
Oh, my cons my con till he gets wife,
But my daughters ny daughter al my lie.
A man at Lancaster, Ohio, didn't know
until the other day that if wagon load of
lime got wet the wagon wouldn't sell for ten
cents on a dollar.
Seedy gent ito policeman Beggar !!
Who's b.ggar? How do you know as
amt swell what ave been to q ball-mask in
the ksracter Of cadger and is a-walkin' 'ome
ID my cOstoom? ?
palestine is to have railroad and the cry
will soon be: "All aboard for Jerusalem.
Passengers for Moab and the Dead Sea will
please remain in the forward car.''-Nar
York commercial.
The restaurant keepers in St. Louis are
cutting down on prices. and, struck with
remorse over past misdeeds. they are ac-
knowledging the fact that turtle soup can
be made OF mutton.
SAYS Max Adeler: Professor Huxley
proves conclusively that the alligator was
once bird, walking about on two legs, and
to this day it lays eggs. We are glad it was
never domesticated aud made barn-yard
fowl"
The genius who invented wooden tooth
picks for hotel use has made over $50 900
the patent. and is still picking up money.
A fastdous English lady, on her travles.
stopping temporarily at the log-cabin Of a
literary trapper in Oregon, and seeing the
essays Of Carlyle and Macaulay on the table.
asked the froniiersman what he Thought of
those authors. "Oh '" said he, "them iellers
is some pumpking. They kin sling ink they
kin, now tell yer ~
spiTitualistic paper tells Of "miracul-
Gus child at Saar Louis, born in the spring
of 1875, which when one hour old spoke up
and pbrophesied that "lS1G will be a year
Of blood" Those who propose to "cut for
de woods" will do well to get ready to
start.
As an ordinary thing, the young man who
parts his hair in the middle cannot be relied
upon to carry the torch Of science down the
dim aisles of Nature, or to illuminate the
history Of his country by the lustre Of his
own renown.-BrooklyH Argus.
"A Roman lictor," said Bates, whose his
toritical informetirn comes by detail; "a
Roman lictor Well, | s'pose she deserved
it. No one but the Roman knows"
There is man in Newark 50 close that
when be attends church he occupies the
pew farthest from the pulpit, to save the
interest on his money while the collectors
are passing the plate for contributions.
A Agentleman travelling through one of the
rural precincts Of county, few days since
rode up to a farmhouse, and thus accosted a
curly-headed urchin, who was seated on the
top Of gateposte "Bnb, where's your pa p
The youngster replied Hes just gone
down beyond the cowshed to bury our old
dog Towser The old fool killed himself
barking at candidates for sheriff; be you
one?"
They had a performance Of Romeo and
Juliet at Western rural theatre last
week. But when juliet appeared on the
balcony with black eye, and Romeo came
bounding in arrayed in an Ulster Oyercua'
and beaver hat, it was too much, and the
audience consisting of three newspaper men
fourteen farmers, and a woman with q
baby, Indignantly rose and demanded 1T
money back.
A Roland for an Oiver-BAssompier
French Embassador to Spain, was telling
Henry ~. how he entered Madrid. 81 wa,
mounted on the very smallest mule in thu
world, p" SAID the Embassador. "Ah, sait
the King, what an amuseiDg sight, to SET
the biggest ass mounted Of the smalles
mule y" was your Mojesty's representative,
was the rejOner.
Mandarin Mung, the head of lhe Chimes
embassy, which recently reached Paris, en-
tered rail=Oad coach with eight seats a
Marseills with the six members of his suite
and found a well-dressed Euglishman en-
sconed in one of them. Mung politely al
lowed him to remain, and, being able +,
speak English tolerably, soon entered int
CONVERSATION with him. The Englishmar
was widely informed, and very interesting
In causual way he carelessly spoke of him
self as the proprietor Of both the train anS
the locomotive, and drouped the subject
Mung renewed it, and the Englishman tolc
him that the locomotive and the coach il
which they rode would be very useful to him
self and the embassy in rapidly traversin
the Paris streets. Having plenty of othe
locomotives and coaches, he offered to SCI
both for ten thousand francs. Mung eagarl
embraced the opportunity, and, taking th
money from his treasurer, counted it out
The Englishman gave receipt, and at tn
next station disappeared. On reaching Pari
the Celestial became wiser man.