davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-01-18
HALF WAY DoINs'.

Be,ubbed fellow trablers! a In holm forth to
day,
doesn't quote no special worse for what
has TO say;
De sermon win be berry short, and dis here
am de text:
Dat halfway doins' amt no count for dis
world or de mex.
Dis werld dat we's libbin in is like a cotton
row,
Where every colored gentleman has got his
line to hoe;
And cherry time a lazy nigger stops to take 9
De grass keeps on CROWN fur to smudder up
his crap
When Moses led de Jews across de waters Of
de sea,
hey had to keep a goin, jes' as fas' as fas
could be;
Do YOU suppose dat dey could ebber hab sue
ceeded in dar wish,
And reached de promised land st last-if dey
had stopped to ishs
My fren's, dar was a garden ouce, whar Adam
libbed wild Eve,
Wild no one round to bodder dem, no neigh
bors for to thieve;
And every day was Christmas, and dey got
And eberything belonged TO dem except an
apple tree.
You all know bout de story how de snake
came snoopin' roun',
STUN tail, rusty moccasin, crawiin on de
grown,
How Eve and Adam eat de fruit, and went
an hid deir face,
Till de angel oberseer he come and drove dem
of de place.
Now, s'pose dat man and 'ooman hadn't
tempted for to shiIk,
But had gone about their gardenin' and ten
ded to their work,
Dey wouldn't hab been loafin' where dey no
business to,
AM de debbil never got chance to tell 'em
what to do.
No halfway doin's breienl It'll never do,
sayi
Go at your task and finish it,, and den's de
time to play
For eben if de crap is good, de rain'll spile de
bolls,
Unless you keep pickin' in de garden oh
your souls.
Keep plowin', and hoein' and .crapin'
OBJ de rows,
And when de ginnin's ober you can pay ur
what you owes;
But if you quits a workin' ebery time the sun
is hot,
De sheriff's gwine to lebby upon eberything
you's got.
Whateber tbs you's dribin' at, be sure and
dribe it through,
And don't let muffin stop you, but do what's
you gwine to do;
For when you sees Niger foolin', den, as
sureis you're born,
You's gwine to see him comm out de small
eend OBJ de horn.
l thank you for the 'tention You has glib dis
afternoon,
Sister Triplet will .oblige US by ..raisin' of q
tune
see dat Brudder Cash's bout to pass al ound
de hat,
And don't let's hab no halfway doins' when
it comes to datl -[IRwIN RussELL.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-01-18
How Many Apples Did Adam
and Eve Eat?

Some say Eve and Adam Pa
total of 10 Now, we figure the
thing out differently. Eve s and
Adam also. Total, 16.-I Boston
Journal.
We think the above figures are
entirely wrong. If Eve s and Adam
80, certainly the total will be 80.
Scientific meu, however, on the
strength of the theory that the an
tedeluvians were race of giants,
and consequently great eaters, rea-
son something like this: Eve S1st
and Adam 80. Total, 163.-[ Glou-
cester Advertiser.
Wrong again. What could be
clearer than if Eve 81, and Adam
1-2, the total was S93?-T Boston
Journal.
l believe the following to be the
true solution: Eve S-1-4 Adam;
Adam s 1-2-4 Eve. Total, $685.
Veritas.
Still another calculation is as fol
lows: If Eve STA Adam, Adam
S-1-2-4-2 oblige Eve. Total, 82,056
We think, however, this not to be q
sufficient quantity, for though we
admit that Eve 8 Ia Adam, Adam,
if he so, S-1-2-4-2 keep Eve compa
ny. Total, 8,0S2,056.- New York
Mail.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-01-18

The consideration of Senator
Wallace's resolutions, relative to
the counting of the electoral vote
was resumed in the Senate on the
10th, on which Senator Sherman
spoke at length, in which he char
acterized the citizens who would
control the affairs of Louisiana as
murderers, assassins and the worst
class of society. Senator Bogy re-
Piled, administering a severe rebuke
to Sherman for his wholesale SLAM
der of the law abiding citizens OF
that State. Senator Boutwell, fre-
quently interrupted Senator Bogy,
referring to the condition of affairs
in Mississippi, when the later re-
piled to him direct:
1t would be one of the marvels of
history that in a free country an
effort was made by a party, and for
party purpose, to blacken and
disgrace one half of the people of
this country. The Democrats in
Mississippi and elsewhere were the
peers of the Senator from Massa
chusetts. The people of the South
had been compelled to take the law
in their own hands to relieve them
selves from the miserable govern
ments sent there by the Senator
from Massachusetts, and his friends.
The administration of Governor
Ames in Mississippi was disgrace
to the country. In Mississippi now
there was peace and prosperity, and
black men many of whom were
worthy of respect, were treated with
as much or more respect than black
men were in Massachusetts. White
men in the South had been forced
to resort to violence, as the people
of San Francisco had to some years
ago. 1t was not lawful, but it was
the great American common law
right of self-defense.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-01-18
Senator Harris was serenaded the

Senator Harris was serenaded the
night after his election. In reply,
he took broad, national grounds,
saying, among other things:
GAS one of the representatives of
Tennessee in the American Senate,
can only promise you that the
Con stitution of the Union shall be
my chart, and the highest motive
and object that shall prompt my ac-
ton shall be the interest of Tennes-
see in common with the other
States that compose this glorious
confederacy. can not forget the
fact that the highest and best inter-
ests of Tennessee are most promo
ted by that line of policy that re-
cognizes the great nationality that
strives and struggles for the pro
motion of the interest of each of its
constituents. / trust that l may be
able to place myself upon that plane
of patriotism far above every sec
tional prejudice-a patriotism that
knows no limit narrower than the
outer barrier of the country, and
the whole country.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-01-18
Mountain of Salt.

A mass of ninety million tons OF
pure, solid, compact rock salt loca.
ted on an island one hundred and
eighty -hve feet high, which rises
from miserable sea marsh on the
rout of Brasher to New Ibcria,up the
Reche, Louisiana, is one of the won
ders of this world. How this Is
land, containing over three hundred
acres of excellent land, ever came
into existence is matter fconjec.
ture. Vegetation is prolific, and
the scenery is beautiful and varied.
He'e is an immense bed of pure
rock salt, whose exten. is as yet on
ly estimated. and scientific men are
puzzled.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-01-18
Maj. Richards Details the Ploi
Against Whitthorne.

Washington, Jan. 1.-THE House
special committee TO inquire into the acts
OF the district OF Columbia Police Com
missIone.s begun their invetigation to-
day by examining Maj. Richards, super
intendent of Police. He testified that
about the first OF July last William y.
Murtagh,, President OF the Board, re-
quested him to detail detectives 70 see "
they could find Congressman Whit
thorne In some disreputable house and
arrest him while there, with view 10
publishing this In nnewspapersand break
ing the force of his report on naval Al
fairs, which was then expected la q few
DAYS. and which, Murtagh said, would
emboly the results not Of a fair investi-
CATION, but Of persecution Of the Sec
retary OF the Navy. Subsequently L
was suggested that II II should pc found
that Whifthorne was not In the habit o.
visiting any disrcputable place, Il would
be well to employ some way 20 entlce
him into one. Richards further testi-
fed that be pretended 70 consent 70
Murtagh's proposition and 70 give the
desired order, but he privately instruct
ed the detectives not 20 act upon lt. lie
ALSO conferred with Mr.. Cook, the
Boards attorney, and they agreed that
the force ought not to be employed In
any such way.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-01-18
Brick Church Items.

The Christmas holidays, with
everything that one could desire to
please the appetite, and with pleas
ant company for the new corners
were two young ladies from Pulas.
ki), sped swiftly away, to be silently
remembered with days that were.
And the new year, oh! what
dreariness did 1t bring with it to
Gods suffering poor, for it was
ushered in by one of the heaviest
snow storms within the remem-
brance of the oldest settlers, and
fancy that many, many sad heart
is signing
"For glimpse of that dear country
That lies so far away"
Mr.. d. L. Gordon has returned
from Colorado, after a sojourn OF
several months. He seems delight
ed with the country, the climate
being one of its most attractive fea-
lures to him. He gives a pleasing
account Of his tour to the summit
of Pixies Peak, and of its sole oc-
cupant who is employed by the
government as telegraph operator,
and is content to live in a freezing
atmosphere the entire year.
Sleighing has been quite the rage
in the neighborhood for several
days. DR.. De Gordon came up las,
week on visit to his friends. He
always meets cordial greetings.
Mrs. Capt. Lee has had severe
illness of several weeks. Mr.. Geo.
Rothrock, who spent a few days
with us during Christmas, intends
removing with his friend Mr.. Las
setter from Pulaski to Wales Station,
where they will go into the mercan'
tile business. Capt. Blackburn is
contemplating moving to the vicin-
ity of Lynnville. We grieve to give
him up, and hope yet he may re
verse his decision. Capt. Gordon's
arm is still painful. INGRAM.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-01-18
Hints to Farmers.

A bare pasture enriches not the
soil, nor fattens the animals, nor in
creases the wealth of the owner.
One animal well fed Is of more
value than two poorly kept.
The better animals can be fed
and the more comfortable they can
be kept, the more profitable they
are-and all farmers work for profit.
Ground once well rlowed is bet
ter than thrice poorly.
Bountifal crops are more profita-
bic than poor ones. Make the soil
rich, pulverize well and keep it clean
and it will generally be productive.
Weeds that grow unmolested
around the fences, stumps and
stones, scatter their seeds over the
farm, and are very likely to grow.
Cows well fed in winter give more
milk in summer. An OK that is in
good condition in the spring will
perform more labor, and stand the
heat of summer better than one that
is poor.
When you see the fence down put
it up; if it remains until tomorrow
the cattle may get over.
What ought to be done to-day,
do it; for tomorrow it may rain.
A strong horse will work all day
without food, but keep him at it,
and he will not last long.
A rich soil will produce good
crops without manure, but will
soon tire.
Farmers sons had better learn to
hold the plow, and feed the pigs,
than measure tape and count but
tons.
Young ladies who have the good
fortune to become farmers wives,
will find it more profitable to know
how to make Johny cake and cheese
than to play on the piano.
All who wish to be rich must
spend less than they arn.,-Farm-
ers Home Journal,
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-01-18

The New Orleans Republican,
organ of the Jacobin conspirators at
Washington, makes the followin g
impudent threat: "If driven to a
military decision the Republicans
may be exasperated into inficting
as punishment confiscatIon and for
feiture ofrepresentation-which con.
sequences may be regarded as pos
sible. when we have seen the
Southern Democracy so far abuse
its power over.helpless and unresist-
ing Republicans, why should we
anticipate greater forbearance from
Republicans whose military supre
macy is beyond question:" There
is no doubt that the Republicans
would confscate and put to death
all their political antagonists to-day
If they dared, and such threats as
the above only show the people how
absolutely necessary it is to insist
that they shall have their rights re-
spected. If the Republicans are
foolish enough to go into military
decision" they will find that the
Democratic party is fully equal to
the emergency and master Of the
situation. The"military supremacy"
of the Republican party is decidedly
questionable.-C. j.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-01-18
A New Light.

The practical joke played by
Hugh Finley ON an old colored wo'
man during Christmas week, may
yet give this State to Hayes, If in
vestigated by q returning Board.
After selling Aunt Dinah all she
needed for ''de children, and de ole
man" be gave her a sixteen shooting
Roman candle as specimen of a
new kind of candle, for which he
had the sole agency. At supper
that night, Aunt Dinah placed an
old i-john in the center OF the
table, to be used as a candlestick,
and placed her present in it. About
the time Uncle Jack had collected
his half score of young barbarians,
and had seated them around on
boxes, barrels and chairs, and just
as he had gotten his number twelves
in position at an angle of forty five
under the mahogany, with his eyes
fixed at the same elevation, to say
grace, Aunt Dinah lighted the soick,
and iz z-z-z-z-z-z-6ang it went, a
ball of fire striking the roof and
falling back on the table. Ian
guage fails TO describe the STAN
pede that then took place. Uncle
Jack forgot his rheumatic and got
out ahead of Aunt Dinah, who was
handicapped with two little darkies.
one of whom she carried by foot
and the other by the head. The
noise which was loud and long, as
sembled the neighbors, who were
only in time TO get smell of pow
der, singed wood and chicken feath-
ers, and to help Aunt Dinah collect
her broken dishes. These, how
ever, were replaced by Hugh, who
explained the affair by assuring the
old woman that she had lighted the
wrong end OF the candle.-l Tus-
cumbia Alabamlan.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-01-18

We were not RECKLESS" when we
said that brother Luther McCord
of the Pulaski CITIZEN, was for Jno,
c. Brown for Senator over anybody,
If there is anything in this world
that Luther and Laps. love, besides
their wife and children, it is John
c. Brown. We say it is good taste
in them. Now dry up, you old bull
dozers.-ReUies0 and Journal
You beg the question, Dick; you
old coon. The ''recklessness'' was
in representing US as expressing q
preference which we did not eX-
press, though we may have felt il
ever so much, and in representing
US as being for just "dny6ody' foI
the short term, when our prefer
ences were so specifically defined. 4.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-01-18

The following comes to us on a
postal card from Bristol, Tenn. !:
s.JAN. l, 1S77.-To all Christians IN
the United States: We believe that
God controls the destiny of nationr
and recognize His goodness to us
in the past. We acknowledge that
as a people we have forgotten his
precepts'' and thereby forfeited our
claim to His protection. There
fore our existence is seriously i'm
pcriled. We propose that the mer-
cy of God be supplicated, both pri-
vately and publicly, from this time
and that the 14th day of February,
1877, be set apart as q day of ma
tional prayer to God that wisdom
may be impaired to those in author
ity over us, so that their decision on
that day may result in our contin-
ued national prosperity and rebound
to the glory Of God. All papers up
proving are requested to copy and
notice the above. COMMITTEE.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-01-18
whitthorne scathless.
Special to the Nashville American.

bpocltl 70 LDc INhhnNliio AlhSiiSehe
WASHINGTON, Jan. 6.-Concern
ing the charge made by one faction
of the Republicans in this district
that Murtagh, of the National Re-
publican, tried TO put up job on
Congressman Whitthorne last ses-
sion, the latter tonight says: spend
ing the naval investigation, detec-
tives were upon the track Of myself
and other members Of the commit
tee. then supposed it was with a
view Of controlling testimony and
embarrassing the investigation.
Subsequently, and about the time
my report was 70 be made, was
informed by colleague that prom
inent Republican members had in
formed him if reported adversely
to Robson my private character
would be assailed, TO which i re-
piled: Say to him if ] knew hell
yawned three feet in front OF me, /
would go forward in the discharge
of my duty" Whitthorne's friends
know that he is scathless, as Muir
tagh found TO his cost, and now the
next step will most probably be a
resolution to have the house take
up the investigation with the intent
to find out if Grants discharge OF
the police commissioners has not
some close connection with Grants
plans for March 4th.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-01-18

A Juvenile who had visited a
newspaper Office handed to his
teacher a composition entitled, ,"How
to Make Newspapers" in which he
thus describes the process: "The
headmen sit down on their desks
and writes on square pieces of paper
what to print in the Paper. They
put them in a box and send them
up stairs. When.t they get up stairs
man takes them and gives lot OF
other men every one a piece of
this Paper that is written on.-
The man that the paper is given to
takes the types and fixes them one
after another so they read what the
Paper reads. A man then takes the
words and puts them In a box as
they are to be in the papers; then he
takes the Box and places it in some
machinery that makes it go back
and forth; then there is a boy who
stands over the machinery and puts
the paper on the machinery, and
then some hooks bring it down over
the box with the types in and the
types Lave ink on the types print
on the paper then there is hooks
that take the paper up and lay it on
another machine that folds it up
and then they sell them to the men.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-01-18

Some Of our subscribers think
we ought to continue their papers
whether they ask us or not, while
others complain if we do. Which
horn of the dilemma shall we take?
Why, the safe one of course, and
stop those who fail to notify US.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-01-18

Mr.. Watterson AYERS that the
large bill of expenses incurred by
Sherman, Eugene Hale, Stoughton,
and the other Republicans who went
to New Orleans to give the Return
ing Board a lift, has been paid out
of the United States Treasury by
Secretary Morrill,. If Mr.. Waiter
son is correctly informed, Morrill, is
guilty of an offence for which he
should be impeached.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-01-18

Although the Senate is the most
enduring branch of the govern
ment in its personality, except the
judiciary, it has now only three
members who held their seats dur
ing the administrat.o .ons of President
Lincoln-Anthony, Howe and She--
man-and only eleven who partici
pated in the impeachment trial OF
Andrew johnson in 1868.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-01-18

Capital punishment; hanging on
her lips.
How did Queen Elizabeth take
her pills? In cider.
1t will not do to report that q
man is corned because his voice is
husky.
When you wind up watch it
goes on; when you wind up COM
pany it doesn't.
Nothing is worse for those who
have business than the visits of
those who have none"
An atrocious jester advised a
dropsical prisoner to get "bailed
out" ut."-Norristot0n Herald.
When a weak minded man be-
gins to turn gray he is very apt 10
begin to make dyeing requests.
Mr.. Bowles translates Disraeli's S
motto, Fort nikl di6fciies,p as
Nothing stumps man of spunk. y
When a wodfaln finds that she
has married a preNGigal son, she
should arise and return to her fa-
ther.
A man who had scolding wife,
being asked what he did for a liv-
ing, replied that he "kept a hot
house"
"Courtship is bliss" said an ard
nt'young man. "Yes, and matri'
mony is blister" snarled an old
bachelor.
A mother'o pretty saying
(Which of your two children do
YOU love most2" always the one
that is absent"
Young swell-"I should like to
have my moustache dyed" Polite
barber-"Certainly. Did you bring
it with you?"
A city missionary was asked the
cause of his poverty. principally"
said he 'because / have preached
so much without notes"
DR.. Holland says: "One tires OF
talking TO fools;" and Mr.. Howells
wittily adds: ''Many good people
are tired of hearing the fools talked
to-"
Henry Ward Beccher says: "An
impudent clerk can do almost as
much injury to his store as the neg
lect of his proprietor to advertise
his stock"
1t was rather personal in a Cali.
I.fornia newspaper man to chronicle
that purchase of mule bv broth
er editor as a remarkable instance
of self-possession."
OF lis women observed on the
street cars yesterday by an atten
tive traveller 113 stuck out theii
tongues when they unclasped theil
poc1et-books.- Graphic.
They will begin calling the names
of the Russian generals pretty soor
and then it will begin TO look as /
Russia had declared war on the jaws
of the world instead Of merely
against Turkey.
A young woman tried to cowhide
a young man in Sacramento, Tho
other day. He at once caught a.
her skirts, pulled them over mel
head, took the cowhide, walked off
and left her to re.arrange her skirts
and dry her fearful eyes:
A Scotchman being asked by his
minister, "What kind of a man was
Adamf" replied, ooh, just lik,
ither folk" The minister insisted
on having a more special descrip
ton. "Weel, nacbody gat anything
by him, and many lost"
"Sambo, suppose you are a Re
publican" ayes, massa, Use Re
publican" "What did you go and
vote the Democratic ticket for, then
Sambo" Instantly Sambo replied
"You know dat de dog has TO was
his tail to de one dat gibs him de
bonew
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-01-18
YOUR TIME IS OUT.

A large number Of subscriptions ex-
pircd with our ins, issue. some had
previously expired which werc con-
tinued by request. If Ihis paragraph
comes 20 you mnrked, youis is ont.
IL you want u discontinued, notify as
W clay aud ifys send
the price Of subscription at once IL
possibie--so that your name may be
transferred to our new hook for isT7,
without delay. Don't fail.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-01-18

We want 10, Is, 25, so or 100
pounds of nice dried peaches for
home use, for which we will pay
the highest market price in sub
scriptions to the CITIZEN, job print
ing, advertising or money.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-01-18
The TOiling Printers Estate

The printers dollars-where are
they? A dollar here, dollar there,
scattered over numerous small
towns all over the country, miles
and miles and miles apart-how
shall they be gathered togetheri
We imagine the printer will have
to get up an address to those wide
ly scattered dollars something like
the following:
Dollars, halves and quarters,
dimes and all manner of fractions
into which we are divided, collect
yourselves and come homel Ye arc
wanted! Combination ofall sorts oi
men that help the printer to become
a proprietor, gather such force and
demand with good reasons for ap-
pearance at his counter, that moth
ing short of a sight of you will ap-
pease them. Collect yourselves, for
valuable as you are in the aggre'
gate, single you will never pay the
cost of a gathering. Come in here
in single file, that the printer may
form you into a battalion, and send
you forth again, to battle for him
and vindicate his credit"
Reader, are you sure you haven't
a couple of the printers dollars
sticking about your "old clothesT
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-01-18

Senator Sherman and his political
brethren still assert that the Louisi-
ana Returning Board is a model OF
justice and piety, with the Tact be-
fore the country that the board s
secretary, Mr.. Abel, was caught
forging returns; that the board in
secret session slaughtered enough
returns to kill Tilden's majority,
and that the head center OF the
board, j. Madison Wells, has been
described by Grants devoted friend
Sheridan as a man who "has not q
friend who is an honest man." and
whose character is "as sinuous as
the trail of serpent."-C. ].