Litchfield enquirer., 1877-04-19
cLTPPIMCs
Syracuse has a .'Litchfield" house.

CT blood and cough medicine.
 r CLIPPINGS
 Syracuse has sLitchfeld" house.
 An Albany sign reads, "Hair cut to suit the countenance, 25 cents. ...
 Nature creates and destroys. She does not save.
 Passion evapOrates by words; grief by tears.
 A word to the wise: The skins of the Spitz' dogs make beautiful robes.
 Melancholy suicide: A little boy on be- ing tAEeatsnsds with . whipping, hung his head. .....
 Bonner has just one hundred horses, in his stable, and they represent half mil lion dollars ..s
 How Can gas companies declare such heavy dividends when they are always do- ing light business. .I
 A grocer had pound of sugar return. ed with a note saying, ''Too much sand for table use, and not enough for building purposes"
 There is an imperial law in Japan against using kerosene oil to hurry up the fire. The law was not made to save life, but to save oil. ..-
 Even if boy is always whistling 'T want to be an angel" 1t is just as well to keep the preserved pears on the top.sheH of the pantry.
 The old mans toast; "It's hard work to keep your sons in check while tthey're young; It's harder to keep them fff checks when they grow older." .
 Secretary Schurz talks to the army of applicants for office n three languages, English, German and French, and still he fails to make them happy.
 "Did yon do nothing to resucitate the body?" was recently asked of witness at a coroner's inquest "Yes sir; we search ed the pockets" was the reply.
 Grandma, why don't you keep a ser- want any longer?", .FWaii, you see. rny child, I am getting old now and I can't take care of one as used to, you know"
 up handsome su6scmrinpRg,oiEp 6fSsmnR oip rJ Boston got carrier, and then married him, and used the funds to defray the expenses of the wedding tour.
 Toledo people are proverbially economA ical. A man who died in that city the other day left word that the door plato should be taken off and screwed on top of his coffin. .f -
 A prudent lady applied to free Bible distributor the other day for large copy. She sad it was handy to press flowers in, and it made nice ornament for the cen- ter table.
 "My dear" said a gentleman to his wife, "our new club is going to have all the home comforts" "Indeed," sneered the wife; ''and when, pray, is our home to have all the club comforts?"
 An Illinnois minister announced on his Sunday night bulletin, the funeral of "Ju- das Iscariot." To which an obliging fell low added, ''the friends of the deceased are cordially invited to attend"
 We have never yet seen preacher 50 eloquent that he could prevent every man in his congregation from pulling out his watch when the fre-alarm strikes twelve to see if he has the right time.
 What is the chef use of bread?" said an examiner at a recent school exhibition. ''The chief use of bread" answered the urchin, apparently astonished at the sim plicity of the inquiry, Sis to spread but ter and jam on it.
 A professor was expostulating with c student for his idleness,. when the latter said, Its of no use; was cut out for . loafer:" Well" declared the professor, surveying the student critically "whoever cut you out understood his business"
 A man from the Western frontier took warm bath in Omaha the other day, and died within an hour. The coroner's jury, after a careful investigation, returned a verdict that ''The deceased came to his death from too sudden and unnatural cleanliness. ts- e;
 Uncle John, did you not know that Mir. Jones had made an assignment for the benefit of his creditors?" "Humpl" said Uncle John, 'that's the way they al- ways put it-"a assignment for benefit of creditorst Butvho ever knew creditors to get any beneJk of an assignment?"
 A certain deacon formed hls Sunday school in line and marched them along the aisles, himself in front, singing "Hold the Fort" The consternstion which seized all parties at the second stanza,-
 ''See the mighty host advancing,
 Sat&h leading on.".--
 can be better imagined than described. Dea. B. has objected to new methods ever since. .--C Chicago AUiGnce. tsoan.s.,s.
 A writer in .ScribnSr.has an article on the subject, .'How to keep the boys on the farm" He evidently means well, but he doesn't touch the point. To keep boys on the farm, the farm should be we'll paved, lighted with gas, and have band stand and billiard tables. and it's own bar and race course. We hope our farmers are just as anxious as they appear to keep their boys on the farm, but they don't seem to take any definite action. From the Danbury News:
 A book agent was kicked to death by horse in Vermont, last week. Mans no- blest friend.
 A Cincinnati boy has been killed by toy trumpet. But we are not going to be too iubilant until we hear that some boy has been killed by toy drum. An Englishman has invented ''stench- trap.'' MT. Cobleigh who has the owner of two pigs on one side of him and fish . market on the other says he catches all the stench he wants without trap.
 There are now three persons living in Hartford with bullets in their heads. Considering the army of agents its life insurance companies employ this ia not large number.
 ~frAt~