The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-04-13
Selected Story.
PEEWIT7S NEPHEW

Pewitt's nephew came on from Philadel-
phia the other day to pay him visit. He
was gay, bright eyed, curly haired little
fellow of some dozen snowballing seasons,
with q roundabout jacket, a couple of voices
and thousand and one pranks-a shout
ing, whistling, singing boy, who banged
doors, upset chairs, broke crockery, and
cut up the mischief generally-on ofwhom
Oliver Wendall Holmes says "They ought
to be kept in barrel and fed through the
bunghole until they are twenty-one years
DID,"
Before Tom-for that was the name of
the youth-had been in the house two
hours he had discovered where the cake
was kept, and confscated enough for six
boys, stuffed his pockets with raisins, fright
ened the cook into Mysteries by pouncing
out Of the closet with table cloth wound
around him, scratched the banisters with
his jacket buttons, climbed the grape ar
Dor, constructed swing in the garden,
broke window, upset globe Of gold fish
cut his finger, tore the seat out Of his pan
falcons, and didn't appear to be half oc-
cupied at that.
"IfI'd my way with boys, I'd spank the
skin off 'em, if they didn't behave them
selves" said Peewit's spinster aunt, coming
down stairs after tying up his finger.
Just then she stepped Uu d Piece of
bread and butter that Tom had left behind
him, and the next moment there was the
awfulest racket and smash as the spinster
aunt skated down stairs and butted panel
out of the hall door with her head.
Mrs. Peewit came down, picked her up
examined her and found she had sprained
her thumb, battered her nose, tore her
dress and creased her back with the bread
and butter, and she was led to the sitting
room and put t. soak in arnica and cam
phor llniment.
Toms sorrow over the occurrence did
not prevent him, ten minutes later, from
exchanging Peewit's best fall overcoat for
NANCY, halfstarved dog and broken
bladed knife. which speculation was not
regarded in favorable light by Mrs. Pee
wit, on her coming into the dining room
and finding the disreputable cur eating tht
meat intended for the diuner; the famil,
cat strutting around among shelf full o
broken crockery, with her back arched anc
her tail as thick as lamp post and Ton
singing 'T'd like to be an angel" and car
wing his initial on the black walnut dining
table.
Mercy sakes wher'd you get that mast,
dog?" she demanded.
Snapped for em. Oh, he's a hunk,
ratter."
"Shew! Go out CT here! exclaimed
Mrs. P, opening the door and trying tt
put him out but the dog retreated unde
the sofa and only yentured out long enough
TO snatch mouthful out of Mrs Peewit'
ankle, dart between the hired girls legs
and upset her and the tray Of glasses II
TO the fireplace.
When Peewit returned home and learr
ed the state of affairs, he went down an
tried to poke him out with long pole, bu
etopped on the brute removing the sittinj
down part of his pantaloous together wit
several ounces Of his flesh, and hunting u
his shotgun he blew hole through tn
wall and the cannibally disposed dog.
Tommy superintended the funeral, whicI
took place an hour later at the foot of th
garden. Mr.. Peewit having sat down on
chair which his nephew had freshly coate
over with glue, was unable to attend witt
out carrying the chair with him, and sper
bis time during the interment in teaein
himself and the chair asunder, and sayln
things not to be found in Moody and Sa
keys prayer book.
The dinner that day could hardly
called a success. Considerable excite
and boisterous conversation being cause
by the discovery of Mrs. Peewit's false ma
cunningly hid away at the bottom Of Il
mashed potatoe dish, while every one
the salt cellars had exchanged their GO
tents with the sugar bowl, and the era
vas So thick with red pepper that PeeN
was forced to drink bucket Of water, q
be led put into the garden and clapped
the back to get bis breath back, after sw
lowing spoonful.
"A cook that'd send in . dish Of era
like that to white mans table ought
be tarred and feathered,' remarked p
'vit, eeaing back into The room with . "
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