davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25
A Man DevOured by a Bear.

A shocking story of devouring by a
bear comes to us from Frederick juno
ton. An old man named Thomas An
derson, on Tuesday last, was chopping
in Hardwood ridge, but not returning at
the usual dinner hour, the people with
whom he boarded felt some anxiety for
his safety. he being very feeble person
Night came, but with it no tidings of the
absent man. The following day the set
Element was alarmed and a strict search
instituted, revealing the horrible fact
that the old man had been devoured by
a bear. Bears footprints were fonnd
on the ground, which was despatched
with gore, and near the foot of tree
was found the boots of the unfortunate
old man with part of the legs in them.
Not far from this was discovered a por-
ton of his head dreadfully mutilated.
From the footprints, plain in the soft
soil, and the blood along the tracks, the
horrible way in which the remaining
portions seemed to have been torn from
their parts, there is no doubt but the
unfortunate man became prey to a
bear. Anderson was one of the oldest
settlers in the place and was an unmar-
rled manufactured Herald.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25
A Gymnastic Calf.

Mr.. Thomas M. Linton, of the firm
of Clark & Linton, is the owner of an
active and promising calf, which will
certainly amount to something in time,
if his neck is not broken by accident.
This calf, when he finds his stable doors
open, amuses himself by climbing the
stairs to the second floor, and views
the surrounding neighborhood from an
open door, When surfeited with land
scape he jumps from the door to the
roof of IN adjoining shed at the great
risk of his spine (but thus far without
injury, and then cavorts around until
he jumps, or falls, to the ground, while
his maternal parent watches his move
ments with an expression of solemn
anxiety. His owner has repeatedly tried
to hold the animal to the ground floor,
but the word Excelsior" has been
pinned to his budding horns, and he is
bound to 60 up or die. In order to
check his gymnastic tendencies, Mr.
Linton, will be forced to anchor him
down to the stable floor, or feed him on
shot until his jumping capacity is de-
stroyed This rampant veal is the only
juvenile Sam Patch of his kind in
Minneapolis, and deserves respectful
consideration from Mr. Barnum or any
other man partial to living curiositles.
st. Paul PiOaeer-Press.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25
Miscellaneous.

The woman who neglects her hus-
bands shirt front is not the wife of his
bosom.
"A yankee editor, in his financial
article, says: money is close, but not
close enough to reach"
Woman was never born to whistle,
and when she tries, it makes her whole
countenance look as if it had declared
war. a
"A fashionable young lady dropped
one of her false eyebrows in a church
pew, and badly frightened a young man
next to her, who thought it was his
mustache.
British butchers are as mad as horn
cts over the arrival of American beef,
but still their customers continue to re-
mark: chill take hanother steak hoff
that Hamerican hox.
An Irish soldier, being for the first
on guard, was thus accosted by friend:
What are we standing there for,
Mixer" "Shure they tould me to stand
here for a century,"
"A Vermont girl refused an eligible
match because the young man didn't
subscribe for q newspaper. 1t takes
quarto journal and supplement to
make a Vermont girls hustle
"A recent death announcement in
New York paper closes with the follow
ing poetic gem, which echpses anything
in the elegiac line that Philadelphia has
ever produced
It was cough
That carried me off;
1t coffin
They carried me off in.
"A man out West was Boosting of
the wonderful scent of his dog, and
how far he could trace his master. He
concluded his yarn with the triumphant
query: "What dye think about that?"
" Do you want to know what / think
about it," said one of the bystanders.
Well, think you'd better go and take
bath"
Milwaukee is agitated over the an
nouncement of the death of Miss Mary
Mortimer, one of the founders, and I'M
til two years ago the principal Of the
Milwaukee Female College, of malig
nant small pox Miss Mortimer died
late Saturday night and was buried i'm
mediately, coffin having been taken
to her home on Humboldt avenue before
her death. The cause of death and the
fact of the sudden burial did not be-
come known until Monday.
"A widow in Baltimore put Grape on
her door. The Grape remained there
about week before the landlord made
bold to interrupt her grief, and when he
entered he found nothing but the house.
Her grief was SO intense that she had
inadvertently removed all the furniture.
The debt of nature which had been
paid was suppositious. The debt for
rent remains uncanceled. And yet
they say that women are not calculated
! for business.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25
Collegiate Athletic Contests.

The annual closing of our American
colleges for the simmer vacation has
brought the students again before the
community in that particular attitude
which has nowadays come to be their
most popular form Of public display
namely, that of competitive athletic
sports. Their foot races and base ball
contests have absorbed, as usual, a
large share of public attention, while
the press has teemed with the descrip-
ton of their prowesr. The students
who have chiefly filled the public eye
this year, and gained the most public
admiration, are not the baccalaureates
and orators, but the ball players and
oarsmen. The reporters have told us
regarding these latter how goose eggs
ran all over their barred arms and
trunks whenever they stirred, and how
"their muscles, like ripe grapes, hung
in great punches on their breasts and
legs" The student for popular admira-
ton is thus no longer the pale devotee
of learning, consuming his midnight
oil, but the sun-browned athlete, glory
ing in his limbs and thews like the
Roman gladiator, or like that Geraint
on whom, according to Mr. Tennyson,
the standing muscle sloped " to the
admiration Of all beholders. But the
zeal for athletic sports in our colleges is
a praiseworthy zeal. It is token that
the professional ranks of the future are
to be reinforced with men of Drawn as
we'll as brain-with men whose physical
integrity and vigor will aid them to
carry the hard burden of professional
life without sinking prematurely under
it. Of course this desire for physical
proves can be pushed to excess, but
the best authorities seem to agree that
it has not thus far had any bad effect
on the course of academic studies.
Very likely a few undergraduates, who
especially fitted to shine as athletes,
may neglect little of the main object
of their college life, but the general
effect of the gynlnastic mania is bene-
fetal to those who would incline to the
other extreme and greatly neglect
physical culture. The honored Presi-
dent of Harvard was rowing man, and
a member Of the university crew. Presi-
dent Barnard of Columbia and McCosh
of Princeton have, with others in like
positions, recorded their testimony in
favor of the college athletic contests.
Altogether the time does not yet seem
to be ripe for putting on the brakes to
check the present devotion to physical
sports in our colleges.-Ihe GALAXY for
August
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25
The Russian Uniform.

An English correspondent with the
Russian army invading Bulgaria, says:
1.-The white caps showed in dense
mass among the willow trees of the
Argis; it was as if a mighty host was
pouring through the little plain, SO far
stretched the concourse of stalwart sol
diers. This army is white army now,
white to the last shred, save facings and
boots Officers and men wear a loose
white canvass blouse, which is the per
lection of campaigning garment for
warm weather. The white of it is not
SO pronounced as to dazzle in the sun
shine, nor do the dust of the road and
the stains of the bivouac foul it into
absolute dinginess. 1t can be washed
and dried in an hour"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25
A Chicago Boys Adventure.

Last Monday evening Arthur Thomas,
lad about II years old, rented boat
of Commodore "Abe"~ on the lake shore
to ride in for short time. He was
given boat, and that was the last seen
of him until late Wednesday night, when
he returned The boatman had suppos-
ed the boy was drowned and was wait
ing to hear from his boat. The lad told
his story as follows:
He said he only intended being gone
half an hour, but after he had pulled
out some distance, he became so tired
that he could not row any longer, SO he
lay down in the bottom of the boat and
fell asleep. When morning broke he
was unable to discern the land, SO he
pulled about aimlessly, hoping that a
vessel would come along and pick him
up. During the day he saw number
of vessels and tugs, which he signaled
by placing his hat on the end of an oar
and holding it up; but his efforts to at
tract attention were fruitless, and re-
suited in the loss of his hat, which was
carried off by the wind. One of the
tugs seen by the boy proves to have been
the S. S. Coe, of this port, which was
away outside looking for tow. Capt.
Archer says he saw the boat, but, as it
is nothing uncommon to see fishermen
in small boats at. that distance from
shore, and not having observed the lad s
signal, he failed to render any assistance
The captain says the boat was heading
straight across the lake, the boy proba-
bly, mistaking a mirage, which was
noticed by the tug men, for the " loom"
of the land. The lake became very
rough during the day, and, as if to add
to the hopelessness of the situation, the
boy became very sea-sick, and was COM
PEELED to let the boat drift, while he
laid curled up inside, exhausted and
helpless He says he slept until the rain
squaH Tuesday night, which drenched
him and put SO much water in the bot
tom of the boat that he was compelled
to get up.
Wednesday morning. he discerned a
vessel coming to him, and by accident
one of the seamen espied him. He was
taken on board and his row-boat attach
ed. The vessel proved to be the bark
E. G. L., Capt. Kramer. The lad was
nearly famished, and was supplied with
food and dry clothing. The E. c. l..
stood on her course unit. she met an
incoming bark, the Fearless, and the
lad was transferred and brought to the
city. When picked up Capt. Kramer
told him he was twenty miles northeast
of Milwaukee. He had been in the
boat thirty-six hours. The boy Is stop
ping with the boatman for the present.
He is a stranger in the city, having come
from Chicago.-Milpaukee Ne,es.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25
Humorous.

"A little boy who lost three fingers
in a drop-press only remarked "Tll
bet mother will cry when she sees that"
"A charming female writer saws that
the men like to pick the ladies to pieces.
1t is certainly very pleasant sometimes
to take them apart.
The young man who was arrested
for stealing a kiss was discharged on con-
dition that he would never embrace anoth-
er opportunity.
-" I'm told, Mr.. Paine, that YOU are
becoming a terrible hard drinker" " Not
abit, cried Paine ); " not a bit; no man
ever drank easier"
When an Ohio man reads head
line In his paper, 1.-The situation in
Washington" he telegraphs Hayes for
it Immediately.
A grocer had pound of sugar re-
turned, with note stating 4" too much
sand for table use and not enough for
building purposes"
If you would find a great many
faults be on the lookout but if you
want to find them in unlimited quanti-
ties be on the lookua
The Sultan has written an autograph
letter to Judge Hilton, thanking him for
the sympathy he appears to feel for the
Turks, and asking him if he would like
commission in the Turkish army
Haackeye -.~
Marriage increases a mans mOdesty
SO that after year or two he can't sum-
mon up enough courage to kiss the wo-
man whose lips, in the vanishing past,
were glued to his four hours on stretch
three times week. ...
A st. Louis schoolboy gave his teach
er this illustrative definition of "respon-
sibility :" Boys has two buttons for
ther s'spenders, SOS to keep their pants
up. When one button comes off, why
there is good deal of responsibility on
the other button" e.
They were counting clandestinely
over the fence, and she had just re-
marked, eyes, love, the eyes are the
windows of the SOUL" when suddenly
the old man closed in on him with a
club, and his soul hasn't been able to see
out doors since.-New York Commercial
Our experience in journalism teach
es us that there is nothing in this world
that will SO disgust and sicken the gen
eral reader as to learn, after wading
through the particulars of an awful ac-
cident. that there is probability of the
victims recovery.
"A village congregation at Brattleboro
was disturbed the other Sunday during
the momentary stiffness following the
opening prayer, by a voice from the
adjoining dwelling, exclaiming, " Mary,
| where's the nails ?" Soon the answer
came back, "In the coffee pot, you
fool ~
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25
New Minister to Hayti.

Professor John NJ. Langston who has
just decided to accept the Haytian mis-
sion, rendered him by the President
some days ago, is the most polished
and literary of all the colored race Of
this country. He graduated from Ober-
lin College when quite young, and with
considerable honor, and has since pur-
sued, unremittingly, reading, study and
research in the fields of literature, sci
ence, politics, etc. Possessed of keen
bright intellect, with polished manners
and with a mind stored with extensive
information on all matters pertaining tC
the duties of the office just conferred
upon him, his appointment to the Hay
tan mission is recognized as the best
that could have been made from his
own nationality Correspondent Chicago
Journal
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25
Cure for the ODium Habit.

An eminent New York physician
writes to the SIN that the only cure fol-
the opium habit is in tapering off, .
diminishing each dose by infinitesima]
deductions SO that the system may
adapt itself to the change. He cured
himself in this manner, and has discov-
cred that many Of the advertised RENE
dies proceed on the same principle.
His habit was to put thirty grains OF
morphine in an eight ounce bottle, and
take a teaspoonful Of the mixture, con-
tanning one grain of morphine, four
times day. In his next bottle he put
but Twenty-Five grains, in the next but
twenty eight, and SO on. The change
was very gradual, and caused no shock
to the system; and the habit has never
returned.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25

In his recently published Biographi-
cal Sketch of Child" Mr.. Darwin notes
the fact that whereas all babies are well
pleased to see their faces in a mirror,
the higher apes are highly incensed
when they behold their natural face in
glass. The fact is also remarked that
whereas children soon learn that it is
but an image which they see there, the
highest apes think it to be real object
and grasp around behind the mirror to
clutch it. Here seems to be something
on which to base theory, if one only
had the patience to construct it; the
facts are certainly interesting enough.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25
The Value Of A Wife.

Glow do you get along?" said a wife tc
a husband. in the midst of a panic. "Oh
[ shall weather the storm, but | wish ]
had few hundred dollars more .
Don't you wish you had married a
rich -wife?' she said, in teasing way
then going to her room, she returned
with rather more than the amount re-
CURED in United States bonds. Why
where in the world did you get this?
said the husband. "Wen, my dear you
went to a champagne supper seven
years ago, and on your return. finding
navigation around the room rather
cif6cult, deposited hat, shoes, gloves,
and large roll of bank bills on the
carpet. | put. the money away and
waited three weeks for you to enquire
if | had seen it, when finding you were
ashamed to do so, I invested, and here
you have it. The moral is-well, we
don't know what it is, unless that if
you will get drunk and lose your
money, do it at home under the eye of
your wife. -asa
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25
Beaten at Her Own Game.

They sat on bench in the park, and
his manly arm was around her yielding
waist Suddenly she twisted around and
spoke:
It's awful warm. -
eyes.
Silence for three minutes The
young man ponders on the awful peril
that encircles a man who comes from
home with only fifteen cents and sleeve
button in his pocket.
cts the warmest weather | think l
ever knew
Yes-es, tits warm"
"My throat is dreadfully parched. T"
"That's too bad. Would you Ike
some water?"
ooh no; the water is SO terribly warm
and brackish
Young man grows desperate.
Wouldn't you like damp handker-
chief tied around your throat?"
"No, | think [ need something re-
freshing Dear me, it seems as though
[ would faint for want of something
cooling"
Young man chokes with despair, then
braces up.
DarlnS, let me 1eel or your pulse.
One hundred and ten in the shade! Oh,
darling, it has come as | feared! | never
can forgive myself Your mother
warned me about keeping you out in
the night air on account of the typhus
prevalent, and now have you here and
these terrible symptoms tell of the APP
proach of the destroyer. Let me help
you home, my darling, and should you
die, the waters of Lake Erie will close
over my hapless form forever. Come,
sweet one, let me take you home" Ten
minutes later that young man stood
over schooner of lager in corner
saloon, and wiped the Precipitation from
his brow as he laid down his last fifteen
cents, and congratulated himself on
having beaten woman on the ice cream
business, while a young woman sat on
the door step waiting to be let In, and
so mad she couldn't speak.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25
NOT DEAD, BUT SLEEPING.
A Horrld, Ugly Snake, You Know, and
What Woman Did About II.

The San Jose Herald gives the follow
ing: " In this city resides lady noted
among her friends for her tinidity and
nervousness, together with an extreme
aversion to snakes toads and other rep
tiles. The sight of lizard was almost
sufficient to make her tremble and
close proximity to a snake was accom-
panied by a sort of Mysteries A few
evenings ago, while walking in the
grass plot near the house, she felt some
thing suddenly strike her underpinning
between the ankle and the knee; in
stinct told her that snake had at last
fastened to her." and, giving one loud
screech, she bolted for the house. At
the few first jumps the thing seemed
wrathy, and she could feel it insert its
fangs, almost to the bone. Before
reaching the door she was aware that
the cold, clammy coils had unwound
themselves, and she reached the interi-
or with just sufficient life to get to the
cupboard. Her faculties were at work
instantly to think up an antidote for the
poison, and in looking at her pedestals,
she could see the bright red spots
where she was wounded. There was no
one in the house, and she, remember
ing that she had heard brandy mention
ed as being of service, took down the
bottle used for making mince pies, and
turning the neck into her mouth,
drained the bottle, and offering a prayer
for the speedy return of her husband,
threw herself on the bed, and scrawling
on visiting card POISONED by a
snake" went to sleep. How long she
remained this way it is not known.
Her husband arriving, saw her. tried to
awaken her, and then, noticing the in
scription on the card, ran out and down
to town for a doctor. Arriving, the
physician found that she was still alive,
and in turning her over to get some
medicine into her gullet, got his probo-
els in line with her breath, and shifted
the whisky. Without saying much to
the frightened husband, he administer
ed the potions used to sober people, and
In less than an hour the woman who
had been too drunk to move, was suffi-
GENTLY recovered to relate what had
happened. A search for the snake
ended in the discovery of few wires
belonging to a hoop skirt that she had
stepped upon, and in her endeavor to
free herself the wire had pierced her
skin. Imagination and the liquor did
the rest.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25
THE ANNOYANCES OE WEALTH.
Troubles of John HI. Lick After Inherit
ing Portion of His Fathers For

The San Francisco Cali, having
learned that a new suit had been insti-
tuted against the estate of the late James
Lick, applied to John III. Lick for inform
alton. The account proceeds: Mr..
Lick passed into an inner room and re-
turned shortly with formidable bundle
of letters They were divided into two
packages. Handing the smaller parcel
to the reporter, he said: Two years
ago | thought knew all of my fathers
relatives, by name at least, but here is
a batch of sixty or SO who have suddenly
discovered that they are his next of kin.
They are all very willing, however, to
relinquish their incontestable claims
upon the property for trihing amount
of cash in hand It's very generous on
their part, isn't it? But they don't get
anything for all that Everybody named
Lick or in any way connected with
any one named Lick, has awakened to
the fact that he or she must be entitled
to a portion Of the estate, or to slice
out of it whether entitled or not They
are nice lot. Hers one who has sent
her photograph. Don't see much of a
family likeness, do you? Here's another
who encloses his card-a lawye--
enough of them here now without
bringing in a fresh assortment They
are all alike, these new found heirs, a
parcel of humbugs, who would like to
compromise nothing and get something
for doing it. These letters here holding
out the large PACKAGE are not from
relatives-at least, they have not put III
claim as such, but from the most I'M
! fortunate people in the world. You'll
find that remark in each letter, and every
one sings the same tune: You've got
millions of dollars; Iwant a few dollars. y
Some of them say: "You owe me a
few dollars, for | am poor, and you
have more than you can spend. =" This
kind of letter comes SO often that |
scarcely have time to read them. 1t
doesn't matter much, for they don't get
any answers. 1t would keep a man
busy saying, II haven't millions, and |
don't intend to give you any of what l
have" There may be, and there prob
ably are, among them people who really
deserve assistance, but most of them
are professional beggars, and a man
can't spend all his time hunting over
the United States for cases of poverty,
even if he has large fortune, which |
| haven't
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25

A COOP wife is to- man wisdom,
strength, and courage; bad one is
confusion, weakness and despair. No
condition is hopeless to man where the
wife possesses firmness, decision and
economy. There is no outward pro-
priety which can counteract Incidence,
extravaganza and folly at home. No
spirit can long endure bad influences.
Man is strong, but his heart is not ada
mant. He needs a tranquil home, and
if he is an intelligent man, he needs its
moral force in the conflict of life To
recover his composure home must be a
place of peace and comfort. There his
soul renews its strength and he goes
forth with renewed vigor to encounter
the labor and hardships of life. But if
at home he finds no rest and there is
met with bad temper, Jealousy and
gloom, or assailed with complaints and
censure, hope vanishes and he sinks to
despair.