The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-03-17
VARIETIES.


Only blue glass is accepted at crystal
weddings now.
Wonder how moonlight through a
blue glass would act?
Ivy keeps house warm in winter
and cool in summer.
No one has written 90, 900 words on
postal card for month.
1t is verbal absurdity to talk of
shipping goods by rail.
Persons who call on dentists are
politely shown into the drawing-room.
Carpet lining made of sponge is one
of Massachusetts, unique products.
Eight million dollars worth of Boston
is owned by ladies who have no voice in
the government.
And yet people had rheumatism
when they were exposed to the old Blue
laws.
"A Kentucky dealer has over a million
dollars invested in whisky. There's reel
estate for you. Pc.
The hum of the maple tree is now
heard as it reluctantly gives down its
sap.
-Be-Whooze sweet? She-Boaf of
us. He-Whooze plumb pudding is 90?
She-Ooze.
Mr.. Fourfarthings was recently ar
rested in Chicago for assault. He should
be cent to the Penny-tentiary.
The new style of spring silk hat is
less " belled" in the crown than last year,
and the curl in the brim is greater.
A San Francisco bride made her
wedding trip few days since upon a
vessel on which she was born twenty years
ago.
"A child being asked what were the
three great feasts of the Jews, promptly
replied: Breakfast, dinner and supper. y
The number of " the very worst cold
ever had in my life" is reported upon
the increase.
No turn-down collars allowed for
ladies; the erect, sometimes with corners
turned, continues the style.
If you own a Spitz dog you mustn't
let your judgment be warped by what
the papers say. Let him bite you, and
then wait for results.
The Norristown Herald has ascer-
tanned that blue-glass, mashed up fine
and administered internally, will cure a
dog-of sheep-killing.
An Oregon bank boasts of Presi-
dent named Failing, and Cashier named
Steele. And yet the bank is in good
condition and a national repository.
"A Maine editor, noticing the mar
riage of contemporary, remarks of the
bride: " She will do the State service
if she makes him better and more
truthful man"
About 800 bills have been intro
duced in the Georgia Legislature this
session. That is the most bilious State
yet heard from.
The religious newspapers are dis
cussing the best way to pronounce the
benediction. We would suggest putting
the accent on the third syllable.
The old mans toast: 81 It's hard
work to keep your sons in check while
they're young; it's harder to keep them
in checks when they grow older"
-"Are They Dreaming of Me-" is
the title of the latest ballad. 1t is proba-
bly, dedicated to the authors creditors
Philadelphia Bulletin.
-Ninety-nine out of a hundred people
make great mistake when they cut of
dogs tail, in throwing away the orOng
end.-BIuegrass Ky Clipper.
"A dealer advertises "A large stock
of bankrupt pianos and organs" Now,
who would wish to purchase musical in
, struments whose notes were not good?-
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
Rice powder, which is much used by
ladies upon their faces, is said to often
contain lead, which renders it very in
furious. If little iodide of potash is
dropped upon the powder the presence
of lead will be revealed by it's turning
yellow.
Professor in. Psychology" Now
Mr. D., in regard to how the mind forms
a material thing from several percepts
: take an apple and illustrate" Mr.. D.
81 don't care if l do" Glass murmur
"Pass 'em around"
Aunt Mary" Why don't you read
Y Tom, instead of lolling about?" Tom
) Got nothing to read" Aunt Mary
} "There's your first prize in M. Jolivet's
French class-a most delightful book
Tom" How can l read hat-itS IN
French!"
The ease with which the modern
mouse can circulate in and round a
patent mouse-trap, devouring as much of
the bait as he thinks his stomach can
digest, and then wiping his mouth and
retiring comfortably to rest, is one OF
the marvels of the century.
The late DR.. Lushington, having
been told by gentleman a big story,
and then asked if he did not believe it,
replied: Since you say you were an
eyewitness, am bound to believe it.
should not have believed it had l seen il
myself"
-Pettengill says that the first re-
turning board" of which he has any
recollection was single in the hands
of his father. The three-tather, son
and shingle-used to hold frequent com
mttee- meetings in the back shed, but the
returns came in so swiftly that fair
count was impracticable.
The Russian officers cannot 90
| through the United States dances with