Smyrna times., 1877-01-10
POef2'Y.
WANTED--A RECTOR.

Was. when he first came. the best of mankind
Dscrete and sagaclous, kind, gentle and pure,
Just the man for the place every quite sure
Most eloquent preacher His sermons the best
That had ever been put to the critical test
Of the knowing and wise ones who went every week
To the Church of st. James looking pOuS and meek.
Most excellent reader, What crowds went to hear
The voice so meodious. 50 deep and 50 clear
The service he rendered with pathOs and feeling"
As the misses expressed it who watched him while
kneeling.
But twas whispered ere long that old lady said
She once saw him bor rcry i0ply his head.
And another declared that lcih rcry grare look
lie crossed both his hands the top Qf his book.
While d third one was sure that he turned his head
around
and Soto,a.y gd=cd at some spot on the ground
These things noised abrod, one knew all the while
That the parson was only decei. i.tion and guile.
While another, who judged from his style, build and
size
Saw Rumanist plainly right through his disguise.
of course there were many who never had seen
ANYTHING in his conduct his postures, his mien
Forbidden by rubrics or heresies teaching;
THE Gospel was largely the theme of his preaching0
They saw naught to fright them, no bad Romish
spectre,
These were praying for mercy not watching the
Rector.
Were laid at their doors though they entered not in
Their Rector and they were most worldly and vain;
These would bring on St. James the black POpiSh
stain.
St James that had ever set rubrics at naught,
That accepted the teachings the sectarists taught
That had prided itself on its unchurchly ways
And hoped not 10 change to the end of days;
Twas awful to think of! y council was had
Ofthe staunch evangelicals sober and sad
Il fln root
evil
"OfRitualisn's drawing vast crowds TO the devil;
And whereas our Rector, by postures and motions
Is teaching the people these mischievous notions,
Resolved, that we forthwith request him to go;
For he's bound to be hioh, while were bound to be
L0W
Resolved that all others who favor his staying
Are of little accouRt except for his paying,
THAT we are the Church: all others merely
Permitted by suferance and this we show clearly.
First, all the expenses are met and betrayed
by Us who are wealthy. Again, we're arrayed
In purple and linen sure, this is enough
To warrant our saying their claims all stuff"
At meeting informal these things were decided;
Then the vestry they merely all hands coincided.
go the Rector who tried but could not make amends,
Was kicked ont Of Church by the Church's best
friends
"st Ja...rs wants Rector! All, here is q chance
For man who desires his joys 70 enhance.
But there are conditions if here he'd abide,
We've just had them printed 10 guard and to guide
Take notice! lie must not be old. yet sage
Who'll bring the ripe fruits of experience and age.
He must not be young but still must possess
Many traits that are youthfulnOt and not less
Than Just those requred-for the dear childrens
sake,
Ofwhom he must true Eyangelicals make.
He also win need the grave manners and ways
That will suit the poor souls the end Of thel
days.
His sermons must not be of the personal kind
That notice the vices of sinful mankind
Unless he restricts them to Jews to Pagans.
He NAV preach against idols Baals Molochs and Da
gons.
But must never on any account speak of those
Which are woshipped by Christians,-lands. house
and clothes.
He must please everybody and give up what they ask
(He'd best get q changing. reversible mask.
So that all may see in him just what they desire)
And he'll have 10 do always wh&teer they require.
He must not be q churchmaR; that signifies high,
And such going upward might get to the sky.
He must not be a bigo.; the St. James ever stood
Upon the broad platform which includes "all u
good"
He must leave his convictions Of duty behind him
And allow neither laws the rubrics to bind hin
He must have no acquaintance except those selecte
BY tie few of his flock who are of the elected
And last but least he'll exclude from his wishC
The wish to possess much of oayes and of fishes"
He must not work for gold; then the pittance the
give
VIII suffice him most humbly and meekly to live.
With these few conditions who'll offer their names
"st James wants Rector"--noY, tcho loants S
JdnIesf