Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1877-01-18
GLEANINGS.
q Not 1 miss "A pretty ~, widow |, . as-s ri

~0Ok1N 0fSs
Not i miss A pretty widow. 'ssasI
sleight'of.hand Refusing an "of-
Men who are hard.up want to be let
a-loan. *..' 20.
"A peanut dealer says business is at a
stand.still. =! 80"
Pickpockets gather crowds to dis.
purse them.
A strong.minded woman will always
he speaker of the house. -
Money is 50 tight that we actually
believe it must wear corsets. g..
If a man has q great many debts are
they very much to his credit
A man out west who offered bail for
friend was asked by the Judge If he
had any incumbrance on his farm.
"Oh yes" he said, ''my wife"
"Mary," said an unknown woman to
a new servant, "when you hang out
the clothes, be careful to put the incest
pieces nearest the street."
''Attenti0n, company, and tend TO
your roll.call," said an Irish sergeant.
''All Of ye that are present, say Here, ,
and all OF ye that are not present, say
'Absint.'
A white boy met colored lad the
other day and asked him what he had
such short nose for. 81 spect's so
it won't poke itself into other peoples
When two or three little boys get to.
gether in the afternoon the chances
are that there will be either fight, q
window broken or some stray dog will
have pan tied to his tall! 49,. 80 w.
A sermon in Barbados recently, was
closed thus: my obstinaceous bred.
rem, l find it is no more use to preach
to you dan it is for q grasshopper IL
wear knee.breeches."
A tender.hearted lady Of Texas
when present at = black bird shooting
asked. "Why don't they shoot the lit
tie birds on the ground so they won't
fall and hurt themselves p
A clergyman in Northern Indiana as
cended the pulpit the other Sunday :,nd
said: "No man can serve the Lore
while he has the jumping toothache
I therefore dismiss the congregation. .
New Medicine.-A lady said to {
gentleman who was suffering with tn
Influenza, "My dear sir, what do 70,
take for your cold!'' Five pocket
handkerchiefs a day, madam" wa
the reply,
MY business 10 to talk" said
Fstump.speaker. II deal In words AM
sentences" Eyes," said a voice il
the crowd, "and as long as l hav
known you your place of business ha
never been closed.''
| He was carving at dinner, an
thought he must talk to the aesthetic
/ al looking angel on his right. "Ho,
do you like Beethoven 2" said he at
venture. "Well cooked" said she, ir
terested in the business at hand.
I When a boy was asked, "Wher
was the text this morning!" he n
piled, ''It was somewhere in hatct
ets." ''In hatchets?" "No, it wa
in Acts" "Well, l knew it was some
thing that would CUT said the boy
. ! IANA&pAAUAAUAts
A negro held COW while cross
eyed man was to knock her on the hea
:! with an AK. The darby, observin
the mans eyes, in some alarm inqui
ed, ''You gwine to hit where 20
look p Yes" s'Den." said Cuffe'
''hold dis COW yourself"
A very good pun can be made III
consciously, as when the sch0olmaste
asked the class what Shylock NEAR
when he said, "My deeds upon m
head" "Well," said one Of the boy
~ don't know, unless he carried h
papers in his hat"
\ young lady dressed Iii much falls
hair, was warbling at the piano, an
when her mother summoned her
some household duties her rosy liz
opened poutingly and snapped GU
} "Oh. do it yourself - and then st
went on singing, "Kind words can ne
er de-
s'What strain that is!' said Mr.
Partington, as she heard an air frol
Lucia sung in the highest style by
young lady where she was visiting
"Yes,,' was the response lit
operate" upper attic, is it!
questioned she. II should think
was high enough to be or top of til
house,"
Mistress "Come, Bridget, no
much longer are you going to be abo,
, filling that pepper bOx!" Bridget
fresh importation from where the
don't use pepper crstors): "Shur'
, ma am, and it's meeself can't say ho
long it'll be taken me to git all thi
> stuff in the thing through the littl
holes in the top"