The Osceola times., 1877-03-03
FACTS AND FANClES.

fACIB AND fANClESs
TURKEY has Ave hundred thousand
men under arms.
EACH beau plucks leaf from the CO.
quette 80 that thorns only remain for the
husband.
AT the opening n parliament Quesa
victoria wore her crown on top OF her
widows cap.
The late George Dawson, Of England,
said he hated theology and botany, but
loved religion and flowers.
BREcKINRIDGE's elegant house in
Washington was bought by Alfred Lee,
a negro, who deals in feed, and who paid
~, 900 for it.
IT was Queen Charlotte who said,
IL am always quarreling with time; u
10 20 short TO do something and 20 long
10 do nothing"
FAsrERs are remindedof Josh Billing
remark: "If make mi brekiast ON salt
fish | genully msks mi uther tu melss On
kold water"
APrER all, mankind hes chsnged very
littl- with the lapse Of time. In little
tavern, recently dug out at Pompeii, the
usual slate and pencil were hanging ON
the back door.
YouSG man, don't waste your time In
complaining that the world owes you .
living, but pull of your coat, FAX about,
and take the debt out Of the world's
hide.
"AMELIA," be said, "what delicious
weather this Is. How the fervent bill
lows Of sunshine heal down through the
blue abyss Of yonder sky" And oh, it
feels 10 good, Eugene just o II some-
body was pouring warm oil down your
back"
CHAD nine children TO support, and
1t kept me busy said Smith to Jones,
as they met, "but one Of the girls rot
married. Now / have" eight, +" In
terrupted Jones. "No, ten-countine
the son.iu.lsw I" said Smith with . sigh
which might have been heard sfar or
LET us invest slowly in blue gIas.
Let the poor buy -four and meat end
clothes, for thee sre certainly good for
health and let the rich, who have lew
spare dollars, work out the problem for
us all. Meanwhile, natures old-fash-
ioncd white light is an awful good thing
and amazingly cheap.-Profsssor SseiHs.
New YORK isgivins big charity balls"
for the poor; and 1t must be quite :
treat to starving man or woman TO read
that Mrs. S0-and-so wore white elk,
court train, trimmed with knife -pleated
ruffles and that Mrs. Lofty's diamonds
were valued at $4,000. Such gorgeous
descriptions are calculated to appease .
mans hunger and cheer him up. But,
after all, the best charity ball for .
hungry man 10 . Goldfish ball.
THERE 10 q story told Of two Scotch
lads who knew little Of gannery and
natural history, but were familiar with
King James bible and with the winged
heads that pass for cherubs In painting
and sculpture. Going out a-gunning
together, one of them thot . bird and
the other ran to tecure the trophy.
Coming near where 1t had fallen, no
found white owl 70 sprawled In the
grass as TO present to his view only .
head with staring eyes and . pair Of
wings attached. Instantly he shouted
In dismay: "We're in for II now
Jock we ve shot cherubim !"
ONCE in while even negro minstrel
combination perpetrates Joke which is
really good one, an i|'rssration 81
which fact recently occurred in London.
Gilby Is London wine merchant whose
wines are presumably not all that good
Iiouor should be for that bright novel;
writer. Rhodi Broughton, in one OF her
recent works referred to them disparag-
ingly. Gilby, the manufacturer, was
yrr, mad thcreat, and, calling in the aid
of the law compelled he spic, autheress
10 cut from her povcl several interesting
psces to svoid the unpleasant conser
auences o. damage suit, The result,
however, shows that the bad-tempered
wine. dealer but advertised the poor
quality o: III. goods and brought retribu-
ton bv his cJlIrsc. Christy's minstreIs
In London come to the rescue OF the
sutboress, defying Gilby calamity and
inrepiously. One of them at their per-
formancc sang:
,u Ten lis,. s.:.s s,sssr' drinking sherry wis.,
(ierc another held up . placard with
the single word "Gilby's" on i, and
then the singer went on)--
then there were nine.
G,lby was furious, but his lawyer told
him he could do nothing; for neither Of
the minstrels had uttered a corplete
libe.. II could not have been done more
neatly.