Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1877-09-27

Oonfound that widow! I say! Gontound
oil widows! Thursday evening ut last,
though it was longtime about It, and over
| went dressed into Cts, ,and feeling as big
as Josh Raynor did when ho wos elected
coroner. /, got ,thoro about dark, taud
found right smart crowd collected, which
was not on tho bills, but l felt as big aud
as good as the rest Of ''em. So I marched
10 like a blind mule into a potato patch, aud
took seat by tho fire. I dldn't see any.
thing oftho widow, but / kept looking for
her to como in and send for mo, and passed
away tho timo by oussin' the crowd, to my
self, thinking they had no business there,
and 1 would not get to talk to my woman a
bit. Presently tho door opened and 10
walked Polly aod that long legged Doctor,
and whole team of boys and girls fixed up
savagcly, tell you... 4 looked around for q
fiddler, they wore going to have a ball, but
wondered what they all kept 50 still for, aud
was about proposing reel, whom up gifts a
little preacher, and before you could swallow
1.-Two oyster, he had Polly and the Doctor
married faster than Mexican greaser
could tic bulls horns. I was so com
plctely Aummuxcd that I set there with my
mouth open like I was going to swallow the
whole crowd, and my eyes looked like bill.
lard bdlls till tho ceremony was over whom
l jumped up and beloved - i"
~ forbid the concern from being consti.
tutedv' y A''i'i I"'.
"You are little too late, my friead,"
said the preacher, and they all commenced
laughing like they had seen something funny.
"I'll be sq6izzled if don't be soon
enough for somebody yet" says I, "for |
was mad Squire, and no mistake in the
ticket. I do believe could huvc cat thut
Doctor quicker thun hungry dog could
swallow q squirrel skin, if could havc had
fair chance at him. 1t was too bad otter
| had fixed up to marry her myself, for her
10 walk right out before my eyes and marry
that great babboon.",y 4oga .H u.
"It was bad, that is fact" said I.
"Bud!'' cried he, ''it was meaner than
eating fried coon. first thought I'D go
straight home, but then concluded that
wouldn't spite nobody, SO l determined to
stay and sec if couldn't get satisfaction
out of somebody. You know I'm the ducc
to get myself or somebody else into sorapc
when l take notion, and I'd taken one
that night that went oil over me like third
day chill, 80 l commenced stndyn out
some plan. recollected hearing the doctor
say that where he como from (but the Lord
only knows where that was) tho bride aud
groom always washed their faces together
as charm against infidcity or imbcciity,
or somo other, long word. While l was
study'n about that, epied the doctors sad.
die bags sitting up in the corner, so I waited
ill they went 10 to supper, aud then I got
tho bags and looked to sec wLat could
discover. Nearly the first thing saw was
picoc OF lunar caustic. slipped it into
my pocket, for had my plan as soon as l
saw it. Well, I watched around till saw
ono Of tho girls 60 to the pail with pitcher
so Iwont out and asked her what she was
going to do with it. She said sho was going
to carry il into tho room for tho doctor and
Polly to wash their faces in. I kept talk.
ing to hor whilo sho was filing the pitcher
and whom she turned hor head I dropped
tho oaustio into it.. Twas thon about bed
timo, and got my hat and put out, but
couldn't help laughing all tho way homo,
whonever I'd think about it next morning.
"Wcll, Squire, they do say that when
that couple wakod up next morning thoy
both bad the hardest kind of fits, each ono
thinking they had bocn sleeping with
niggcr. Oh, it was rich! IIo oussip'
and tearing up things, and sIo fantin' and
comm to and going off again, and me not
there to SOC it. They mado such an uncarthly
racket that the folks broke into tho room
to sec what was the matter, and thero they
was with their faces and hands all as black
as tho inside Of an old stove pipe I'd givo
half my interest in the tothcr world lust to
have been at some safe placo .whcro l could
have seen the whole row. AS soon as they
found out that they was really tho same
folks that married the night before, they
called for warm water and soap, but just
here the doctor happened to think about the
pitcher and took ii to tho door to soc what
was tho ma.tor. There was little piece of
ouust!c that had not dissolved, and az soon
as he saw it, he says:
"Its no csc washing, Polly. All tho
soap in New York city wouldn't wash that
black offs
"Thnt was the truth, Squire, soap and
water had no more effect than it would on
native born African, and all tho chance was
to wait and let it VICAR off, How long it
took them to get whito again. + never found
out, but ono thing l do know" bo con.
cludca, getting up to 60 out, "the next
tmo [ saw tho doctor I had the hardest
fight, and como tho highest getting whaled
that [ over did 10 all my born days!" !!
-----> 49,. m ~
From the Sunny South.
Tho Young Man-DeatIi- the Three