Connecticut western news., 1877-03-16
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was quite entertaining. He had on the | stand several plaster heads mapped out in town lots, and aafter-he explained | what they meant he invited persons in | the audience to come up and let him | feel their bumps and explain their Several times he hit pretty | accurately, and excited considerable amount of applause, but after a while old D. stepped up for examination.
 He is an. absent-minded man, and he | wears a wig. While dressing himself | before coming to the lecture he had | placed the wig on the bureau and acci- dently tossed his, plug of tobacco in it. | When he put the wig on it was just like | him not to notice the plug, and so when he mounted the platform he had a lump just over his bump of combativeness as big as half hens egg. The professor fingered about while, over D.'s head, and then said:
 "We have here somewhat remarka- ble skull. The perceptive faculties strongly developed; reflective faculties quite good; ideality large; reference so great as to be unusual, and benevol- ence very prominent. Secretiveness is small, and the subject, therefore, is a man of candor and frankness; he con- municates what he knows freely. We have also,'' said the Professor, still blowing his fingers through D.'s hair, ''ihquisitiveness not large, the subject is not grasping, avaricious man; he lives literally, he-he-he-. Why, it can't be! Yes. Why, what in the! ' Munificent Moses! that's the most awful development of combativeness l. ever heard of Are you aprize-tighter, eh?
 ''Prize-ffghter! !" exclaimed D. "Why,. what do you mean?"
 ''Never been soldier or pirate, or anything like that?"
 "You certainly must be crazy.o
 s'Ain't you fond of going into scrim- images and rows, and hammering peo- ple?" a-@ S-A- E5- ssEA~ Es g. 3 A-l<G.
 "Certainly not," answered D. indig-
 "Wen, sir, then you're untrue to your nasufe.7 .71@Fhe way your head's built qualities you, should say, in a special manner, as knocker-down and a dragger-out. If you want to fulfill your mission you will devote the re- mainder of your life to battering up your fellow men and keeping yourself in one intermmabley and etern al muss. You've got the awfulest bump that ever decorated human skull. It's phenome- nal.z What'n you take for your head whenyou die ? Gentlemen, this man is liable at any moment sto commence raging around this community like a wildcat, banging you with club or anything that comes handy. It isn't safe for him to be at large"
 Then ID. put his hand up to feel the bump, and he notieedsthe to obacco.s He pulled off his wig, and there was the plug sticking behind his left ear. Then the Professor looked at it a moment in l confusion, said:. H e- ,tfuufa
 'sLadies and gentlemen, we will now the lecture is-that is, I have no more. Boy turn out those lights.o | Then the audience laughed, and D. put On hislwig, and the Professor started to catch the late train.
 | The, science of phrenology is not as popular in Norristown as it was, and D. still remains peaceable.
 | s5 ----.-- III i.&-& : 1.F
 CoLMAN was orfce out dining where the only lady in the company was the Dowager Lady Cork. Puns were the staple of the entertainment. "Mr. Col man,' said Lady Cork, asssyou are so agreeable that you shall drink glass of4champagne with me-" sSYOur lady, ships wishes are laws to me-" returned Colman, ''but, really, champagne does not agree with me-" Whereupon Jekyll, who was present.. called: out, 'tFaith, Colman, you seem more at tached to the Cork than to the bottle" etOH, YOU say this gentleman was about fifty tive," said Canning toa pert young woman in the, witness box, ''and l suppose now you consider yourself to be pretty good judge of peoples age, eh? An, ,just .so:s~ We'll, now, how old ! should you take me to be ?'' ssJudgipg by your appearance, sir,'' replied the witness, ''I should take you to be about sixty; by your questions should SUD- pose you were about sixteen"
 ScENE-Horse car filled with ladies. Hero-Newsboy with dirty face and big hole in the seat sot his trowsers. Newsboy-''Ere's yer evening papers All about the Turkish war!l All about the Turkish war 7, No response from the lady rassengers,s who, probably, were little nebulous as to the location of the Oriental conflict. Newsboy, dis gusted-''Seems yer don't care nothin' about the poor Turks!''
 ssIT IS A great blessing to have help | fulewife. There was once half-witted fellow who informed his father that he was about to marry. sWhy, Charles, said the old man, you cannot support yourself. What fool to think of getting married.' T know it father,' replied Charles; sbutI can pretty nearly sup port myself, and it does seem as if 8 wife ought to help me some.'"
 | "Do YOU KNOW what bull dozing is ?'' asked a man of an old farmer. "I thought I did,'' said the granger, 'but 1.-the bull wasn't dozing; he was only making believe and beingtin the middle of a forty acre lot, naturally had to make pretty quick, time to reach the fence ahead of him. g ~a &E Is s.EDl | HE PURCHASED his sweetheart pair of ten button ~ gloves and handed them in at the door himself. The IIservant-girl took them and going to the foot ofvthe stairs, hawled up: ,..--
 >s'Please, lniss,S 'ere's young man ez has brought you pair of leggings.' | ---s --7--7-
 | LADY-"Well, Tibbets, and how is your son. John getting on?" Nurse ''Oh, he be getting sons frst-elass, thank'eel mum. 2 He told. us yesterday as how he'd been and joined one O those 'ere burial societies. So he's pro, vided for all right. London Fun. z-a ----@ se,se Hr #9
 2 IT RECALLS what Dundreary- said about it: "Yass, she was n-nice girl; was g-going to marry her m-myself, but d,didn't get up that m-morning, or something of that sort; d-don't w-wecollect now iu juth what it wath. ;
 IT IS SAID that we'll known novelist lately entered a printing office and &C., cused printer of not punctuating g properly, when the typo earnestly re- plied-'I'm not a pointer, I'm setter.'