Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1877-06-21
Mumuruus department,
VAS BENDER HENsHPECKEDs

Any shentleman vot will 60 round pehind
your face, und talk in front of your back
apout something's, vas shvindler. l heared
dot Brown says, week pefore next apout me, l
vas henshpecked huspand. Dot vas lie -!
De proof of de eating vas in de puddings: l
am married twenty year already, und vas
vet not pald-headed. I don't vas oonder
some pettygoats gofernments; shtill | thinks
it vas peter if feller will insult NIT his wife
und got her advices apout something's or oder.
Dem American vomans don't know some
tings nefer apout his huspand's peesness, und
when dem hart times comes, und not 80 much
money comes in de house, dot makes not some
Inference NIT her. Shtill she moost have vone
of dot pull -pack-in.de-front hoop-skirt-petty.
goats, NIT every kind trimmings. Pooty soon
dot huspant gets pankrupted all to pieces.
Dey send for de Doctor; und when de Doctor
comes de man dies. Den dot vomans vas
Obliged to marry NIT anoder mans vot she
don't maype like NIT four or six childrens, on
account of his first wife already, und possiba.
bly vone or two mudders-by- y-law-vone sec.
ond.handed, und de oder shtepmudder-out-
law. Den she says NIT herself, II efen wish
dot I vas dead little" :.
Now if Cherman goes dead, dot don't
make a bit of Inference. Nobody would
hardly know it, except maype himself. His
wife goes nit de peesness on shust like notings
has happened to somepody.
American vomans and Cherman vomans
vas a tifferent kind of peobles. For Instinct,
last year dot same feller, Mr.. Brown, goes
NIT me in de butcher peesness togeder. He
vas American man,-so vas his wife, Veil,
many time when efery peobles has got de pan
ic pooty bad, dot vomans comes to her hus-
pant und says she moos have money. Den
she goes out riding NIT a carriages.
Vonce on a time, Brown says to me,
"Bender, I wouldn't be henshpecked." So he
vent off und got himself tight-shust because
his wife tells him, blease don't do dot. Den
he sits down on his pack NIT de floor, und if
am not dere dot time he never would got
home.
Veil, dot night, me und my wife, We had a
little talk apout something's; und de next tay
says to Brown, "Look here vonst! My
wife she makes sausages, und works in dot
shtore; also my laughter she works py the
shtore und makes head.skeeses und your
wife vas going out riding all de times NIT de
horses-car, und pstent-tied-back.cardinal
shtriped STOCKINGS. Now your wife moost 60
work in de shtore and cut peefsteaks, and
make sauer-kraut, or else We divide not equal
ly any more dot profits"
Veil, Brown he goes home uad be tells bis
wife apout dot. Den she comes pooty quick
NIT Brown around, und We had misunder-
sbtanding apout something's, in which efery'
pody took part, including my leetle dog
Kaiser. Pooty soon up comes policesmans
und arrests US for breeches of promise to keep
de pieces, und asssulting de battery, or some
tings. Den de firm of Bender & Brown vas
proke up. I 60 apout my peesness, und
Brown goes NIT his peesness. My wife she
helps in de shtore. His wife goes riding NIT
de horses.cars, and efery nights she vas by
de theater.
Vot's de consequences? Along comes dot
Centennial panic. Dot knocks Brown more
higher as two kites, py Chimminy! My in
come vas shtill more as my outcome. But
Brown, he goes round dot shtreets nit his
hands out Of his pockets, und he don't get a
cent to his back. Won BOYLE.