Richland beacon., 1877-04-14
A PAIR OF APRIL FOOLS.

claim the title OF man 8hu ne
mantle still, now that the title young
was only accorded to him because OF MS
bachelOrhood.
Mr. Softheart had never desired to be
bachelor. He admired the other sex
too much; but, although he had been in
love with four blondes, three brunettes,
and five young ladies who were neither
one nor the other, he had never been
able 70 pop the question point blank, but
delicately intimated it in such way
tina. his meaning would have been rid
die 70 the Sphynx, and was naturally
enough never successful.
Now, at forty, and growing extremely
stout, he was as romantic as ever, and,
moreover, he was desperately in love
with a new idol-a young lady who
smiled when he appeared, gave him soft
chances, called his bouquets "lovely," and
preserved them in water.
The fact is, Mr.. Softheart was very
well of, and not i'll looking, and that
Mise Belinda had made up her mind to
accep. his hand whenever it was offered.
despite the persistent attentions OF young
Mr.. Spooney, who, though by no meals
Ill looking, and just six and twenty, wa
onlv 4 government clerk, and by no
meme as eligible match in consequence.
For six months Belinda Bellows had
been waiting tor Mr.. Softheart to pro-
pose, and every day more certain that ne
positively intended to place his mansion
and bank account at her disposal.
lint, though Mrs. Bellows vas kind
enough to allow the cook to summon
her 20 consultations when Mr.. SOftheart
called, and SO leave the pair alone to-
cether; and although Belinda's sister,
Miss Angelina, was equally considerate,
and invariably remembered that some
thing she wanted very particularly was
up stairs, when her mother went to speak
to ,he cook, poor Mr.. Sefthesrt never
could bring himself to the point of say
ing, "Will you marry me?" 1t would.
he argued, confuse the young lady and
himself; AID if she should say 10. whe re
-as the floor never opened on such awful
occasions to receive rejected lovers
where should he hide himself?
IN do it by letter." he said to him
self, after long consideration. "Women
70 far, have misunderstood me. I'll do
il in black and white now-say, will
YOU marry me?' in 50 many words, and
decide my fate"
And, 80 on the last day Of March, Mr..
Sos:heart wrote, on pinktinted paper,
rerfumed with Rimmel's scent and edged
with gold. an offer of his hand and heart,
ar plainly to be understood as bill from
on9e's baker and feeling that he had done
q safe, though coarse thing, he enveloped.
sealed it, aud put it in his pocket, before
he made his evening call on his beloved
i,eliRda.
Now i. so happened that that very
evening Belinda herself had come to a
resolution. Her twenty-fifth birthday
Wa. approaching, and she could not afford
10 waste time"
When Mr.. Softheart reached the house
OF the Bellows, he found the field quite
clear. Miss Belinda had artfully con.
tT;ved that it should be 80. That per-
kdious young pei:on had actually pur-
chased tickets for concert; requested
young Spoorey, who was half mad with
joy at the idea, to accompany Angelina
and herself; and on the evening in ques-
ton was smitten with terrible attack
of neuralgia. Reclining in a chair, a
lace 'kerchief held to her cheek, she re-
GREETED her inability to go; but, after
all, Mr.. Spooney should not have his
trouble for nothing-mamma Snd Ange-
lima would 60. She had rather be alone,
she was so cross and nervous. They really
must go. And, knowing very well why.
the ladies acquiesced, and what could
5pooney do? AS a gentleman, clearly
nothing but regret Miss Belinda's illness,
and be delighted with the society of the
mamma of fifty and the sister of fifteen.
Yet wrctched man was Mr.. Spooney
that night; and both his companions, on
theirreturn,p ronouncedhim stupid"
Ten minutes after the departure of the
trio, Miss Belinda, arrayed in blue silk,
with flowers in her hair, was playing at
such rate on the piano that it seemed
anita noxfa;r, Al M tho dounn,, r,o., Io-:o