Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-11-28
HulllOr.

Chief Joseph placed just one too
many Miles between himself and Gen.
Howard
why didn't you insert my article?"
asked a contributor; was it too long?"
" No." replied the editor; " it was too
narrow"
He murmured, Il am man of quiet
tastes" then went behind the door, took
q flask from his pocket, and tasted
something.
"In the sentence, John strikes Will
liam,'" remarked school teacher,
"y hat is the object of strikes?'"
Higher wages and less work." prompt
ly replied the intelligent youth.
It is strange how crowded two young
men will make the largest parlor seem
on Sunday evening. -Ronae Sentinel.
The manufacture of corsets has be-
come SO perfected that hugging a girl is
about as satisfactory as squeezing par
lor stove, we have been told-Dmabauy
Neus.
A statistician figures up the total cost
Of the wars Of the last quarter century
at go, 413 100000. Russia and Turkey
will do we'll to cut this out and paste it,
in their hats
Girls, whose opinion about such things,
is always valuable, say that there is too
much shirt collar and two little young
man in the present fashions to suit their
taste.
"My DEAR" said husband, in start
| ling tones, after awakening his wife in
the night, Il have swallowed dose Of
strychniner' Well, then, do for
goodness sake lie still Or it may come,
up"
A clergyman, on applying for an ap-
pointm ent, was asked, Il hope, sir, you
drink in moderation ?" 'Well, [ try as
much as possible to drink like beast"
Like beast, sir ?" Yes; stop when
get enough, and that is what a beast
always does.
The telephone may be we'll enough,
as q musical dissemination, but what the
country needs is the invention of some
sort of telephone which may be applied
to hand-organs and thin-toned pianos in
such q manner as to conduct the music
noiselessly off, and dump it in some out
of-the-way place where it will not be-
come offensive.
A party were enjoying the evening
breeze on board a yacht. The wind
has made my mustache taste quite
salt, 'Eremarked a young man who had
been for some time occupied in biting
the hair that fell over his upper lip.
q know it," innocently said a pretty
girl, and she wondered why all her
friends laughed. "People are so child
ish, she remarked
A leading daily remarks of the
silver bill becomes a law, every savings
bank will be enabled thereby to cheat
it's depositors out Of seven cents on
every dollar" We notice that some
savings banks have been enabled to
cheat their deposito"s out of pretty
much all of the dollar without any law
at all.
A little fve-year-old fellow came up
with great earnestness said, Mother, [
saw something run across the kitchen
floor this morning, and it hadn't any
legs, either what do you suppose it
WASP" The mothers curiosity was ex-
ClIou dt tlic a. DttI SJO UltdIlSGliCoo VI TIE
supposed animal, and, not knowing what
else to say, she said she supposed it was
a worm, or something of that sort, she
did not know what Having for some
time enjoyed his mothers inability to
solve the problem, he said, TWAS some
water"
At school examination a clergy
man made a brief address to the pupils
, on the necessity of obeying their teach
er and growing up useful and loyal
citizens. To emphasize his remark, he
pointed to the national flag spread on
one side of the room, and inquired
Boys. what is that flag for?" A little
urchin, who understood the condition
of the house better than the speaker,
very promptly answered, To hide the
dirt, sir