The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1877-08-18
VARIETY.

al Always speak well of the dead, and once
in a while good word of the living, if you
have the time"
Inouisitiye school-board officer to Hibernian
parent IS Was your boy born in Glascae ?''
80 No, sor an hope he never will be.
g Capital weather, Mr.. Jones, capital
weather! My wifes got such cold that she
,can't speak. like such weather"
The slumber of the pure is SWEET says
the. Talmud. That accounts for sleeping in
church, surrounded by the pew rest influences
A colored speaker, before the Virginia Cen
seral Assembly, urging the Presbyterian Church
to labor among the freedmen, waxed eloquent,
and declared that the field is already white
unto the harvest.
There never was time when the insurance
business was SO safe as it now is. All that
man wants to do, after he gets insured, is to
die right quick before the company does But
he doesn't want to be fooling around, living
and having good time.
If you must speak evil of your neighbor,
speak as you would if he stood before you. 1t
Is cowardly to shoot arrows at a mans back.
Moral assassination is as mean as it is wicked.
Give the accused chance to defend himself.
Last night, about twelve O'Clock, there were
some cats on the back fence, who. in talking
over the map of Europe, requested one another
that the lines should be drawn around Tschkal-
jatoch-m-ayou ~
The noble Indian comes into camp and
says sc killed your wife. 1 harmed your
daughter. 1 burned your baby. find no
buffalo to eat. surrender. Gimme rum and
pork and tobacco for peace. Who shall mourn
for Logan?'' And the voice of the pioneer
comes, 80 Not darned one."
What does city boy know of the pleasures
of early life? He never tracked woodchuck
to his hole, nor stepped on humblebee, nor
left an orchard at midnight with big dog at
his heels, nor went swimming on Sunday and
told his father that he fell into the creek, nor
played old sledge in the hay-mow when they
thought he was at school, City boys don't
know what fun is.
A buxom-looking woman entered one of the
dry goods stores in Augusta, Maine, not long
since. and asked the gentlemanly clerk to look
at his ealicoes. '' What prints will you look
at?' inquired the clerk. "I don't want to
look at no PRINCE said the young lady. " had
ruther see free-born American citizen than
all the foreign princes you can bring OUT"
THE SUMNER LAND.-Noticing the fact that
Andrew jackson Davis, the Spiritualist, had
vision of the '' Summer Land" the Norristown
herald says: " He often has 'em. The Summer
Land IS watered with mighty streams and
rivers OF immensity,' and the north center Is an
immense relix, an atmospherically coiled re-
optlele for the multitudinous electrical currents
arising from all parts of the globe But this
Is not all. The Simultaneous and ineessant
rush Of terrestrially electricity to this
great north spiral centre results in the instant
formation of a never-ceasing, self-iuminating
vortex And yet, despite all this, there are
men, who wish to be considered upright and
high-minded, who will go fishing on Sunday,
provided their fshingpole can be converted
into Walking-stick." )"
Seven intellectual boys met by appointment
at the corner of Cass avenue and Jay street
yesterday afternoon, and were thus addressed
by one who seemed to be chairman of the
meeting
Boys, can't have the rehearsal to-day
The boy who was going to act the angel has
got to shovel snow all the afternoon. The boy
who breaks into bank has got the toothache
snd is galloping around the house, and that
Third street boy who was going to rescue Pau
line sassed his mother this forenoon and got
such whaling that he couldn't rescue stuffed
dog. l expect to get walloped this afternoon
for stealing sugar, and 1 guess we'd better not
think of a tour to Europe with our Three
Women of Sandy Bar;
The other actors agreed, and as they separated
IN different directions each boy appeared to
fully realize how near he had come to making
path for Edwin Booth to travel in, and how
some little trihe, like sound thrashing, vii
enange boys whole nature.-[Detr0it Ere