The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1877-03-29
TRUTHS md TRIPLES.


had not in it something of both the
sneak and the fool. The sorcery of sin ID
that il changes a man into a sneak and a
fool, but the fool does not know that he
is a sneak, and the sneak does not know
that he is a fool.--ReU. Cool
..Lenten Diet. - Inquirer -" Well,
Sambo, how do fyou like your new
place ?" Sambo--Berry well, msssa. {"
lnquirer-"What did you have for
breakfast this morniDg?" Sambo-
Why, you see, Misses billed three eggs
for herself, and gave me the brof.
"A lady, whose cook went TO wake,
was given notice by her a fortnight af-
terwards that she was going to be mar
ried. "Who to-" asked the mistress.
"Plase, man, TO the husband of the
corpse" "Why, does he love you?"
was the next question. Oh, yes, nam
he said | was the light of the funeral"
Girls who consciously go to work to
get married know very well that well
placed sign is worth fifty sonatas, and
that no amount of major and minor
prestidigitation can win triumph over
the rival who, though Ounce at the
music book, is an expert in smiles and
dropped eyclids.
-" By way Of contrast" says the
Commercial Advertiser, "it is mentioned
that in Nova Scotia the SNOW is six feet
deep, and in Maryland the farmers arc
ploughing." Yes,s George, dear, and
they might mention in the same connec-
ton that up around the PaIpocrystic
sea it takes nine thickness of buffalo
robe TO make man summer undershirt,
while down in the other place old Mr..
Dives keeps yelling for palm-leaf fan
and duster on Christmas HGDLcye.
"A book agent who has retired from
active labor upon the hard accumula-
tions of life of industrious cheek, says
that the great secret of his success was
that when he went to house where the
female head Of the family presented her
SELF he always opened by saying: az
beg your pardon, miss "but it was
your mother | wanted to see." "That
always used to get 'em. They not only
subscribed for my books themselves, but
told me where could find more GUS
toners"
Winnie, bustmaker to congress, is at
work on head for chief justice Waite.
The Capital says: This is one of Miss
Vinnie's sweet advertising lodges. She
selects some old pub, func., who does not
know work of art from bologna sau-
sage, and works at him in public. To
see the chief justice of the supreme court
working up his countenance to an ex-
preston of sublime emotion at fair,
while the fair, poodle.headed Winnie
gazes and dabs and babs and gazes, is
spectacle to treasure in ones memory"
THEaccounts from Fall River continue
to be of the most encouraging nature, as
all the mills are working to their utmost
capacity. Their goods are finding Il
ready market all over the world, and
even in South America, where novelties
in patterns are the most tempting in
centive to would-be purchasers. A rep
resentative of several mills has Just re-
turned from voyage of discovery and
reports that "American goods are grow
ing in favor daily and that it will be no
very difficult matter 10 compete sue
cessfully with all grades of English man
ufactures.
Verify the eyes of the tramp waxeth
keen after lucre. A young man crossing
the street last night picked up a patent
gun wad lying on the payment. Ere he
had well inspected it, out Of the gloom
came hungry looking lot of rags, and a
voice issuing therefrom said, "Young
man, need IL wuss nor you. | seen
you pick up that dime. Give it ter me-
| amt tasted food for more'n week."
He took the gun wad and slipped il
among the rags, and with " Yer've saved
life, young man." he glided up The
alley. How that tramp" cussed" in the
corner saloon will possibly never be
known to his bogus bonefactor,
Tribune men who write to the
clelgymen that there is plenty of stand
ing room for young collegians wishing
employment, providing they have grit
and care willing to commence at the
bottom" and "legin low down and
fight their way up" advertises for edu-
Gated young men to act as amanuenses,
willing to "work his way up from the
bottom" at 80 per week, four thousand
applicants Door,bell rung off by young
men full of "grit;" seven thousand
housemaids worn out answering the bell;
squad of police required to disperse the
Young men in front OF the house, willing
to do.anything and "work their way up
from the bottom;" bad to get in his own
house through the back window; all the
overcoats and hats stolen from the hall
rack by young men who care willing to
begin low down." callers frightened
n,rnu hv mob of younp men full Of