Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-02-08
THE HER A Id.
TOO LATE FOR THE TRAIN.
A Domestic Experience.

Man and his wife gazed with IN
speakable disappointment at the re-
treating train, which was just rolling
away from the bridge at the rate OF
q thousand miles a minute. The
first impulse was to run after it, but
as the train was out of sight and
whistling for Sagetown before they
could act upon the impulse they re-
manned in the carriage and discoD-
solateIy turned the horses heads
homeward.
at all comes of having to wait for
a woman to get ready" Mr.. Man
broke the silence With, very grimly.
al was ready before you were"
replied his wife.
"Great Heavens - cried Mr.. Man
In irrepressible impatience, jerking
the horses jaws out of place, 'just
listen to that And 1 sat in the bug
gy ten minutes, yelling at you to
come along until the whole neighbcr
hood heard me"
eyes," aequiesced Mrs. Man, with
the provoking placidIty which no one
can assume but woman, and ev.
cry time / started down stairs you
sent me back for something you had
forgotten.
Mr.. Man groaned. "This is too
much to bear, when every body
knows that if was going to Europe
I would just rush into the house, put
on clean shirt, grab up my grip
sack, aud fly, while you would want
at least six months for preliminary
preparations, and then DIV idle
around the whole day of Sta ing
until every train had left town."
Well, the upshot of it was, that
the 4Ians should put off their visit to
Aurora until the next week, and II
was agreed that each one SHOULD get
him or herself ready and go, and the
one who failed to get ready should
be left. The day of the match came
round IN due time. The train was to
go at 1890 and Mr.. Man, after tend
ing to his business, went home at
9:45.
"Now then" he shouted, "only
three quarters of an hour to train
time. Fly around fair field and
no favors, you know"
And away they flew. Mr.. Man
bulgei into this room and rnshed
through that one, and dived into one
closet alter another with inconceiv-
ao,e rapidity, chuekliDg under his
breath all the time to think how
cheap Mrs. Mal would feel when be
started off alone. He stopped on his
way up stairs to pull off his heavy
boots TO save time: For the same
reaeon he pulled off his coat as he
ran through the diningroom and
hung il GA c6rner of the silver
closet Then he pulled off his vest
as he rushed through the hall anc
tossed it on hookin the hat rack, anC
by the time he reached his owr
room he was ready to plunge into
bis clean clothes. He pulled out {
bureau drawer and began to paw a
the things like Scotch terrier aftel
rat.
"Eleanor," he shrieked, "whert
are my shirts 2"
"In your bureau drawer" calmly
replied Mrs. Man, who was standing
placidly before glass, deliberately
coaxing refractory crimD into
place.
"Well, by thunder, they amt,
shouted Mr., Man, a little annoyed
I've everything out of the drawer
and there isn't thing in it | eve
saw before
Mrs. Man stepped back few pac
es, held her head on one side, ant
after satisfying herself that the GRIM
would do, and stay where she ha'
put it, replied:
"These things scattered around OF
the floor are ell mine. Probably yor
haven't been looking in your owl
drawer"
81 don't see, testify observed Mr.
Man, "why you confident have pu
my things out for me when you hat
nothing else to do all morning"
Because" said Mrs. Man, settlin!
herself into an additional article Q
raiment with awful deiberation, no
body puts mine out for me. a i
field and no favors, my dear
Mr.. Man plunged into his shir
like bull at q red flag.
"Foul.' he shouted, in msliciou
triumph. "NO buttons on til
neck.
Because" said Mrs Man sweet,
after deliberate stare at the fdget
ing, impatient man, during whic!
time she buttOned her dress, pa
eleven pins where they would d
the most good, "because you hav
got the shirt on wrong side ont"
Whtn Mr. Man slid out of th
shirt be began TO sweat. He droppe,
the SHIRT three times before he got i
on, and while over his head be hearC
tha clock strike ten. When his heat
came through he saw Mrs. Maj
coaxlng tho end and bows of he
Decktie.
Where's my shirtstuds?" be cried
Mrs. Man went into another room
aud presently came back with hel
gloves and hat, and saw Mr.. Mar
emptying all the boxes he could fine
in aud about the bureau. Then sn'
said, 40 the shirt you just took off,
Mrs. Man PIT on her gloves while
Mr.. Man hunted up aud down tbs
room for his cutf-buttons.
Eleanor" he snarled at last.
believe you must know where thos,
cuff-buttoBs are.n
81 haven't seen Them" said the la
dy settling her hat; "didn't you lay
them down on the window sill in The
sitting-room last night"
Mr. Man remembered, and wen
down stairs on the run. He step
ped on one of his boots, and was i'm
medisteIy landed at the foot of tn,
stairs with neatness and dispatch.
Are you nearly ready, Alger
non p asked the lady of the family
sweetly, leaning over the banisters