Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1877-06-08
Gleanfngs.


as we'll Bag-dad.
The woman who made hustle out oA
a dozen newspapers, was well supplied
with the latest "wore news"
A woman has been named Wine, anl|
the New York Herald thinks she is prob7
ably sister to pony of brandy.
A Georgia evangelist and converted cir |
Gus man married wife, baptized her and
received her into the church all in or
day.
A Belfast (Me) paper says the peopk
of moderate means down that way nos
take their roast beef without potatoes.
Mechanics and laborers occasionally
90 on a strike, and the first things they
strike are their wives and whisky bottles.
The King of Siam has nine wives II
support, and when the wood-pile gets
low, he looks just as careworn as the rest
of us.
Somebody advertises for q servant-girll
"who would not be above placing hers
self on an equality with the rest of the
family.
A school teacher at Fort Wayne, Ind,
fills the mouths of offending pupils wit.
cayenne pepper. Possibly. to make then
smart. =
They tell US that the good die young,
and yet insurance statistics make it OUT
that clergymen live to an aveEage of six
ty-five years. VdlL =
A man in Warren county, Georgia, has
been twice struck by lightning and still !
lives. His latest misfortune was matri.
mony.
A Brooklyn preacher prays for the suel
cess of Russia. But he is a Brooklyn pa
tor and the prayers of the wicked availetE,
nothing.
Two champion banana eaters IN Opor
gia recently consumed six dozen st n Si
ting, and were then in good condit IN
planting.
The telephone would prove of capitA
service during the hot summer months i
it could be employed in bringing air]
from the Arctic regions.
One of the inmates OF the Kentuck
Insane Asylum is mere infant. 1t lost
its reason through chewing up a piece OF
one of Henry Wattersons speeches. -
Mr.. and Mrs. Hayes are such stron
temperance people that General Sherrydaa
and Admiral Porter will be refused ADJ
mission to the White House.
When Ahmed Tefik, the Speaker of ts
Turkish Parliament, wishes to suppres
an obstreperous member, he shouts, "Es1
SEX. Essex" ('You assn
1t cost saloon-keeper of Waupuhs
Wis, $500 to kick the editor of the local
paper Being of business turn, the fae
ter is anxious to be kicked some more.
"What are you doing here?" asked s
New York policeman of boozy individ
ual leaning up against street lamp.-
"Tm hic, 'njoy'n' m Eev'nin', hic, Pos
cap"
1t has been decided that children car
not turn their stepmothers out of tn
ing young girls to marry baldheaded wild
overs. +
AS an excuse for horse stealing in Engl
land, the culprit pleaded that he only
stole it to get married; but the unsympal
thetic Judge gave him six months non
the less.
Italian brigands now wear standing col
lars, diamond pins and alligator boots.-|
1t has always been suspected there was
money in it if rightly followed.
Jones got down on his knees hastily
his girl, the other night, and was abouI
to pour forth his soul in poetry, whe
she said: II see you tumble to it.'
A Philadelphia judge decides that
railroad company is not responsible fo
baggage further than to check it, pounI
it to pieces, and preserve an ordins](
watch over the trunk handles. -
Joseph Cook says that "We stand
fore structureless bioplasm and see p
wearing organisms" When will If
learn to write intelligibly about fashion
He, of course, means organdies.
Lawyers fees have come down in q
West. They used to want the who'
an estate for settling it, but now theYN
low the widow enough to cover fan1
expenses.
When a father discovers that his b
has been using his razor to sharn
slate pencil with, his faith that he
be the father of President is temporal
ly eclipsed by his anxiety to find the b
and piece OF lath.
Allen Hannah, of Jersey City, W
married recently to Miss Hannah ALE
Miss Hannah Allen in now Mrs. Ham,
Hannah, and is, perhaps, the only won
in the world who can spell her emf
name backward and forward with
same letters.
The Norwich Bulletin man sayn
he has frequently observed that the
vidual who always states what he NJ
have done if he had been there is
kind of a person who never gets there
A man remarks, "The only jokes
men like to read are those which reA
ridicule on men," eyes," adds anJ,h
man, ION taking up paper woman
variably tnrns to the marriage coiu1
A New York dancing master dancsN
five hours without taking rest, and Sd
ence has demonstrated that that Is fq
hours and fifty-tive minutes longer
a man can dance in the air with n
around his neck.
Colonel Gildersleeve is going to pq
lish a book on "How to Shoot" Th
if some gifted Treasury girl will on
write supplement on WHO to shoot
the world will be satisfied.
Paterfamilias Ito his eldest son, wL
at 1ale)-"George, these are uncomn
ly good cigars! l can't afford to smos
such expensive cigars as these" Georg
(grandly)-"Fill your case-fill yt
case gov'ner!"
A witty French lady, who was
'adopted member of a famous mill
corps, when cigar was lighted n
presence with the remark, 81 supp
they smoke in your regiment"
"Ies, but not in my company
The Government has discovered tha
Postmasters have swindled it out of posty
age stamps. They have been gettiS
their licks in on the stamps and on TN
Government too.
1t is this lying awake nights trying to.
determine whether to leave your fortune|
to an orphan asylum or home for old
men that makes the newspaper businesj
so wearing Rome Sentinel.