The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1877-04-05
PITH AND POINT.
MARY WALKER feels very much q

|
out.
DIAMONDS are going out of fashion,
and soon there will be nothing to dis
tinguish Niagara hackman from the
ordinary capitalist.
1T is the easiest thing in the world to
make yourself believe that the man who
lends you dollar is philosopher and
gentleman.
THE salaries of good base ball play
ers will this year range from twenty
dollars per week down to whack un-
der the jaw for jumping into mans
garden after the ball.-Deroa Free Press.
A FASHION exchange says: Ladies
will carry larger pocket-books this
husbands will be able to the same
Phila. Bulletin.
THE cat Is not mentioned IN the Bible,
though the word "roof" occurs eleven
times, "tongs" FIVE times, and "hurl"
three times. The bootjack has not
been discovered.-Graphic.
SENATOR DAVIS has only one sorrow.
He would like 10 have it arranged 80
that only half of him would slip down
at once. Then one-half could pick the
other half up.-Defroh Free Press.
You 60 to Shecaggo, hey?" said the
gentleman from Germany. "Vell, you
pc bretty CAREFUL about dat water dere.
Eff you dond vSnt TO ket seek, you
trinks none uf dat water dill you ket
used TO him.-Rochester Democrat.
A WIFE in Cairo alleges that she has
caught her husband in nine thousand
eighty.seven deliberate lies during the
last thirteen months.-DetroitF Frts Press.
From this it would appear that she
doesn't see him oftener than twice q
week.-Norr. Herald.
A KANSAS farmer purchased a revol-
Yer for his wife, and insisted on target
practice, so that she could defend her
house in case of his absence. After
the bullet had been dug out of his leg
and the cow buried, he said he guessed
that she'd better shoot With an ak.
MRS. PIKE, the wife of the Chicago
murderer, states in her confession that
Jones, the murdered man kissed her
two hundred tsmes in one day. That
is almost as ofteen as love-smitten
youth kisses his girl on the front step
when he bids her good night early
Monday morning.-Nerr. Herald.
THE winter of 1857 will long be re-
membered for it's eccentricities. 1t
was like big bag of snow, with a tight
belt buckled about the middle, so that
while storm poured out of both ends,
there was diaphragm of calm weather
between. Baltimore Gazette.
"7 10 8" y7as the heading of Colonel
IngersolPs lecture in a Chicago paper,
and when a suburban citizen on the
way to town opened up his pa
per in the cars and saw that head
he most naturally exclaimed: Z" Base
ball commenced again I"
LADY Ito servant, who has given
notice three days after her arrival)-
But if you didn't mean to stay why did
you take the place? Servant-Well,
m, when saw you at the registry Of
fee you looked so tired and tagged, l
took your situation out of charity like.
A LITTLE scarlet fever convalesant
was overheard praying repeatedly,
while about her play: ooh, good Lord
cure my earachel Her mother asked:
"What are you saying, my dear?"
Nothing" said the little girl, 81 wasn't
talking to you, Pm talking to the
| Lord"
SCIENCE may reach still further out
and light up the pathway of ignorance
as bright as day, but it will never con-
trive way of holding pillow while it
is being cased equal to the method en-
ployed by the servant girl of to-day,
who grasps the feather-stuffed tick
with her teeth, and wriggles it into its
receptacle.-FhHon Times.
THE large bustles which have been so
long in vogue are going out Of fashion,
and that glorious season when the mid
dle-aged females could attend the an
nual donation party and carry Oft two
thirds of the pastors salary about her
person in provisions, may be said to be-
long to decayed past.-Noraoich BuIe,
tim.
} THE imperishable affection of a
child for its mother is equalled in no
other phase of animal nature. A
bright Nevada boy of sixteen summers
; has the extracted teeth of his ms
ternal ancestor manufactured into
cribbage pegs, and now, when he holds
, five and a ten it doubly reminds him
of his deceased mothers materna
smile, and brings tears to his eyes,
Boston Globe.
A WISCONSIN man who had been in
duced by Western papers to go to
Florida and start an orange factory,
passed through Atlanta on his way
home yesterday. His breeches were
harnessed to him by one suspender,
and he stood up to free lunch counter
with the air of man who knew his
rights and dared maintain them.-At-
lnntd Constitution.
DON'T use words of whose meaning
you are ignorant, or you may meet
some such ludicrous fate as this
Scotchman's: A recently appointed
Scotch bailie took his seat for the first
time on the magisterial bench. Look
ing sternly around, he TINS addressed
the assemblage: Hitherto there
have been many complaints as to how
impartially affairs have been carried
out here; but intend that the business
of this court shall in future be con-
Quoted neither partially nor impair
tally"
A MERCHANT in provincial town in
Scotland had habit of saying 1t
might hae been waur" to everything
tddb was ho"CfCl Cdu buC
story might be. A neighbor, thinking
that he would knock the wind out of
him, one morning said, Man had an
awful dream last night. cay, what
did ye dream? ?" 81 dreamed that l
was in hell" at might hae been
waur." Chow could it haze been waur ?"
eff it had been a reality"
j AT fire early the other morning, at
Newport, noted gambler appeared at
an upper window in white futtering
raiment and cried. impressively for a
ladder, and then the jeering crowd
chaffed him, calling out, sis your
ante up?" You're only two pair |"
Hold the edge +" "Ain't you sorry
you staid in?" Straddle the blind I"
and other obscure and ferocious ex-
pressions. He was ultimately saved,