The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1877-11-01
EVERY DAY.sPICERIEs.

|
EVERY DAY.SPICERIES.
New York Herald: Tweed says that
an honest man is the noblest work OF
God, but that there isn't much work
now.
A MAN drank thirty-one cups Of
coffee for prize.-Neio York Herald.
Was the prize fan or gold harp?-
Cincinnati Gazette.
PATTERSON Press: Indians are said to
have scalping knives made of tortoise
shell. As in the old fable, the tortoise
gets away with the hair.
PHILADELPHIA Herald: The era of the
lion and the lamb has come IN Bulgaria.
The Turks and Russians lam each other
and the correspondents do the lynn.
FULToN Times: Christianity justly
| rebukes profanity but charity kindly
puts cotton in its ears when a man who
has had his toes stepped on begins to
speak.
NoRRIsTowN Herald: You can get
dinner, with bathing suit thrown in, !"
| for sixty cents at Atlantic City. But
who wants bathing suit thrown into
his dinner?
puII,nr1pu1. R,,letin. boarding.
ho,,sa ~ [,;strass I;te the rest of ms. has
ber her weak and strong points-her weak
noint being coffee and her strong point
the butter.
DANBuRY Ne,cs: An Englishman
drowned himself the other day because
the tea was not warm enough to suit
| him. It is to be hoped that he took the
| foo With him
~, w., f,,,,,,,s-.;,,J. An axcbapoa
NEW lOhn Oo"'"'es 49, N .s---'-
saws "This wears peach crop is one OF
the HlosI pIon.apio ~ 'lT Pc: 1~,.
but we doubt IL. Decdue Irult uoesA
sell we'll in this CITY.
80. So >if- ~ :.
ROME oentnaet: science says thae IL
eooA n,iiiivne VI 1.L ta.
from tne clam ODseifdtion nnoWo tnos
il takes less than minute to transfer
~ 49, 80 az ,oon
Ine CHILL ilVo 'iio ii.an'
Commercial Advertiser: Messrs. ham
anu GsS aio 9p.ny. G..-.-,,o, &c
Governor ana iheutenan.-eoseino =.
Iowa. we move tnas those hoiiiina'ioii' ma
De promptiy iaio oh 'iie 's'oie.
The stoye-pipe can never De apipe OF
peace.-RichnoRd Enquirer. Gan en-
You undertake to put one up, anu see
how soon it can become a pipe OF
several pieces.-Norr'stoaon -Herdea.
ANDREWS Bdzdr: Some of the beautl-
full poetry that appears in our popular
magazines is written by pale-faeed
Young men, who eat bologna sausage
twice day and expect to marry helr-
esses.
ADAMS WEDDlNG.
Though Adam and Eve were iuli young to wed'
They 'ne Me4e made there was no vain
parade,
No ssakins .ne e;a ssess sy o1iet ~ could be-
They cooked no provisions to waste,
And to wed in garden among the green trees
Was surely the he'sh' oi s00u 'as'e'
Would it not be relief to our anxious mammas
II simplicity sweet % ,Ss foa poeSe of baaed papas
And young men would be eager to wive.
No costly outfit, no big frosted cake,
rbo care % Ss po and no bridal
The There would only be Eden and love.
BosroN Commercial Bnlletin: A
Southern book-keeper, visiting the north
on his vacation, walked to the Top Oh
Bunker Hill monument. He said 1t was
the hardest column to foot up ne mad
seen since he left home.
LONDON Fun: Yachting Ilp-A cor
respondent writing to yachting news
paper, asks what is the best thing to do
when a Yacht is becalmed? We should
saw, tell a profound secret to your
friends on board; it is sure to get wind.
ALBEaHANY Mail: Let young men
and women he riyen to understand that
it is not a disgrace, not even lowering
of dignity. to work for a living. All
nreyious ages have held it more honora-
bIe for man to york for the food he
oats than To beg for it. and the same rule
obtains to-day.
LOUISVILLE Commercial: A Louisville
| preacher was sketching with vivid I'M
agery the scene in the Garden OF Eden,
and in his earnest progress came 70 shis
sentence: "And they recognized tne Iacs
of their nakedness, and went ana maoe
themselves aprons OF flg-leavesImiseia, s
BILE shift!" The congregation iaugneo
aloud at the unintentional pun.
A PoMPoUs Scotch advocate succeeded
in bemudddling a country witness by
asking him whether he thought the
prisoner compos mentis. The witness
could only grin and look foolish. At
last the Judge inteposed, moo, jist tell
me, do ye think is there ony thing in
him?' "Dell thing" burst out the
man, with smile from ear to ear, but
what's put Until him wi the spune r
The following appears In a Zurich
newspaper: &C announce to my friends
and acquaintance the sad news that to-
morrow, at three o clock in the afternoon,
1 shall cause to be cremated, according
to the rules OF art, the remains ol my