The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1877-01-16
Score one for the Woman.

The following anecdote is told by the
Dayton (Ohio) Journal of II Democrat
in the city: "The night before the
Presidential election he was out with his
wife, who is all enthusiastic Republican,
Upon returning home, her husband
said, Now I'll get good sleep, get up
in the morning, take John This colored
servantl, go to the polls, and put in two
votes for Tilden. Like the patriarch
Is,iac's wife, the good wife of our Demo-
cratic friend kept her own counsel. But
next morning bright and early she arose
and proceeded to the kitchen, where she
found John, whom she accosted John,
have you voted yet?'' No, ma'am,
quoth John. Then, john said
MRS., you go and vote as quick as
you cam John went and voted for
Hayes and Wheeler. After breakfast
our Democratic friend called John, Oh
serving pleasantly to him, Now, John,
suppose ne go and vote?' Quoth John,
why, judge, rs done voted The
judge took in the situation. and went to
the polls wiser man.
Eas- A very smart, though very inso-
lent retort was once made to magistrate
by an shocking fellow, upon
whom somewhat heavy fine had just
been imposed for drunkenness. From
the appearance of the culprit everybody
in court probably expected that he would
have to go to prison, but to the surprise
of all, the delinquent displayed pocket
full of money, and sullenly began to
count out the amount of his fine, where
upon the magistrate proceeded to remon-
strate with him on his recklessness in
going about the streets in state of
drunkenness with such sum OF money
about him. 1t was a wonder, remarked
the magistrate, that he had not been
robbed. GAS to robbery growled the
prisoner, "it's mighty little difference
can see between being robbed in the
streets and being robbed here"
ssyA lady a short time back presented
a telegram at a London post-office. The
message was inclosed in an envelope.
On receiving it the official at once pro-
coeded to open it. "What are you about?"
exclaimed the lady. The clerk explained
| that he could not send n message with
out first seeing it. Then, observed the
lady, angrily, do you suppose I'm
going to let you read my private affairs ?
won't send it at all =" And forth
with she fiounced out of the office in
disgust.
GDT"Tom, why didn you marry Miss
| G-?n
ooh, she had a sort of liesitancy in
her speech, and so L left her"
ga hesitancy in her speech? ] never
heard that before. Are you not mista-
| KEMP
''No, not at all : for when l asked her
| If she would have me- she hesitated to
say Yes, and hesitated SO long that ]
went out for another gall
Esy' After little girl had attended her
first Sunday school session she asked
her mother what kind of bear was a
"consecrated cross-eyed bear?" Her
mother could impart no information
until she happened to glance into the
S. S. Song Book, when she told her Off
spring that the animal in question was,
GA consecrated cross l bear.
81 In town in Massachusetts there
are three churches, the minister of each
of which rejoices in the name of Wright
One lies in the upper part of the town,
one in the lower, and the third at the
mills, SO the people have dubbed them
as Upright, Downright" and Mill
right"
He took sudden seat he did.
| In all his gorgeous f0ppery;
| such mOurnful speetacles We see.
| When sidewalks are so sloppery,
! And she, poor girl went down with him,
| In all her pull-hack frippery;
| Such tragic Incidents take place
When sidewalks are so slipper.
Eg@ "Why did Joseph's brethren put
1 4 \. l..