The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1877-01-26
FRESH FLASHES OF FUN.


1t has been SO long since Christmas thAs
all the tin horns are lost and the drums
broken.
The sleigiiing up in Spitzbergen is
said TO be Just perfectly splendid, snOT
eighteen feet deep In tue shallow places,
and not enough ashes In the whole prov
ince to cover single crossing.
"Johnny, have you learned anything
during Che weekp asked teacher OF n
hye-year-o Did pupil. "Ye,h'm.' "Well,
what is ItPp tNever to lead small
trump when you hold both bowers"
A San Francisco boy sued his father
for assault and battery, because the par
ent whipped him Tor playing hockey.
The boy won his suit; at least he got
damages. but they were made with n
skate strap.
An exchange solemnly asks, "What is
the danger of the hour~ We know
Danger of standing OH your head III an
unexpected place and dropping your
Arctic overshoes off in your eyes. Ask
us hard one.
A Vermont paper says Henry Blake,
of HardWick, in that State, sa we'd a pine
log last week that was four hundred and
thirty years old. Now we would never
have thought a pine log wOuli last so
long as that, would you?
They say a newspaper folded anu
worn under the vest ID warmer than u
fur coat. And many a defeated candi-
4 date in a close district will testify that
d newspaper worn over everything Ia
often warmer than coat Of brimstone.
A Burlington man has invented a
stope-pipe mat slides i'll and pulls out
like a telescope, and does away "lta
all disjOinting or matching. There's
millions in il. Married men cry for At,
AID no home is happy without it.
The suddeni appearance of pair Of
| Arctic oYershOes IN the air, five feet ann
haIt above the ground, merely ind-
Gates that the passing Traveller has just
struck the sidewalk In front OF the house
| where the man is too lazy to carry his
ashes outside the gale.
Good ear muffs Tor st. Louis man
may be made by sewing up the lower
ends of the pantaloon legs, aud then
pulling the garment on over the ears ia
the usual manner. The only Iroubis
with the supply is, there are very lew
men With legs eleven feet long.
"Did | give you hogging the other
| day?' said II schoOln ister to a tren-
! bling boy. Eyes, sir" answered the
boy. swell, wnat do the Scriptures cay
upon the subjectW Il don't know,
sir" said the other, except IL is in tnnI
passage which says lit is more blessed
to give than TO receiVe.'"
| The winter passes rapidly away after
New YeaPS. The snow is OH the grass,
Lorena, about eighteen inches deep, ail
yet we can almost hear The rustic Uf the
wings OF the coming springs, and sent
1 fa n
strawberries and a spoonful OF skim
milk Tor thirty-hye cents.
tipped MS to blunt its own corroded
point. IL is ever thus when you preciIs-
Itate a sc0oE SHOVEL full OF snow from
the top OF u iOur-story building dOWR
uoon the hat and shoulders OF a passing
stranger, and then shout at him, giee-
fully, "Snovel off your roof"
One Ohio editor says of contemporary
who mad assumed the part Of a mummy
in dramatic performances: 'He Was
Obliged TO put a little animation into
himself to come up with the character,
and to wear more recent linen; put that
was about all. Nature had admirably
qualified him TO act the part"
| A MaJjr in the United States army
was crossing from England In one OF the
Cunard steamers, when one afternoon .
band OH deck played Yankee DoodIe!"
\ gruf Engiishman, VINO sto0d by, in
uuired whether tnaL was the tune the
Old cow died OF. "Not at ali," retorteti
the Major; "that is the tune the old BUD
died Of"
A boarder, the other day, after VaiNly
endeaYorlug to masticate piece Of fowl,
laid down his knife and fork, saying:
ga the trainings, traditions, add teacR-
ings OF my y0ulD, my sense OF propriety,
I and the commands Of Holy Writ, cOmpea
me to respect old age; but Pll be blowea
if can bring myself to stomach IL Wlea
roasted or broiled."
A man in a church fair who had tiity-
|, cent bowl of oyster stew, suddenly rosa
in great excitement and began TO puil
off his coat and vest. "Why do yon DO
thatP" asked the pious frau-!ady Whn
took the fifty cents. "Why, great heaE-
, ems - he cried, "there is little Oyster
drowning away down in there, and 1'aa
going TO dive ior it,"
1t is noticeable that the cat whu
mounts the EldgepOle of the wood-house
ana sits apart at the concert, and Ia
wrapped in thoughtful distracted al
lence until the programme is about han
through, opens out, when he does ceaaH
= in, with a wall that curdles the blood IA
frozen beef, and rouses all the Othel
members OF the troupe TO a very agony
OF lrenZied emulation.
There is one advantage in having q
wooden leg rather than set OF ials:
: leeth. man is never in any danger OF
: sneezing ii off into somebody's lap in q
/ street-car, ANA it isn't SO liable to COM
, down and choke him off just as he is
beginning to sing tor numerous and
/ expectant company. But then it n
= more unhandy when fellow wants II
D kick $, melody or ride horseback.
1t has just trauspired that the Wes
Hill man VINO denied himself new over
coat this winter, that he might give tn
money to the church, has good $2l Us
: ster, pilot Jacket, knit scarf twenty
t eight inches wide, a fur collar, and tuI
buckskin under vests, all lett over trop
lust winter, and he has thus far giyen s.
: and 8 cents to the churc0, and the odd
cents was only suspender button.
Z, In Augusta, the Rev. Il. W. Tilden II
+ pastor OF the Baptist Chu ch, and j.
& highly esteemed, especially among taE
children OF his paris hioners. Recently
s a little tive-yeaT-old boy, who is repAs
e lican true-blue, and thinks very mueh B
! oil rUuu,au ubout n rpt1rp npd