The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1877-06-26
IN THE WRONG HOUSE.
T1MoTHY T1TMousE, tailor, hav

Academy Of Music just on the night OF
the grand charity ball.
Now Timothy, who was a man of al
most forty, and family man at that in
his sober senses, was the most bashful
and timid man in creation but when
slightly exhilerated, as in the present
instance, he was as bold as lion and as
impudent as fancy clerk in a first-class
hotel.
Seeing the long row of carriages stand
ing at the curb-stone waiting to carry
home the ball-guests, for it was already
in the {" wee sma'n hours of the morn
ing, he thought he would be vastly fine
to ride in state to his humble residence,
which was situated on the west side of
the city.
So without any more ado he jumped
into the first carriage he came across,
and bawling out " "home," to the driver
seated on the box, he slammed the door
shut, and reclined back in the cushioned
seat with hazy sort of consciousness
that he had made himself understood to
the coachman, and that in due course of
time he would be landed on the pave
ment before the abode of himself, his
wife, children, goose and thread and
needles.
The driver, indeed, at once applied the
lash to his spanking team, and as the
vehicle dashed rapidly away, he mutter-
ed to himself:
The guv'nor's alone again. He
must have had another spat with the
missus an she's refused to ride home
with him as usual. However, so long
as 1 receive my wages it's none of my
business"
Timothy was aroused from dream in
which he thought his wife was belabor-
ing him rather severely with the yard
stick, by the sudden jerk of the carriage
as it halted, and opening his eyes rather
sleepily, beheld the driver standing at
the open door of the vehicle waiting for
him to alight.
Drawing his hat closely over his eyes,
so that his wife should not discern in
his face any trace of his having imbibed
too much of the rosy" he stumbled
into the street, up a fight of brown stone
steps into the hall of an elegant man.
sion, up the stairs and into sitting
room-all in blissful ignorance that he
was entering any other house than his
own.
The fact that the servants, taking ad-
vantage of the absence of their master
and mistress, had been holding a little
jollitication of their own in the kitchen
and were sleeping off the effects of sew
eral bowls of punch, with the eXcep-
ton of the porter, who was just sober
enough to open the front door at hear
ing the carriage stop, must account for
the reason that our jolly knight of the
shears was not at once made aware of
his mistake. To this also must be added
the delusive appearance created by the
full dress costume which had been left
for some slight repairs at Timothy's
workshop, and which he, good simple
man had donned to attend the convivial
party already alluded to.
When, however, he reach ed the sit
ting-room, and gazed at the velvet car
pet on the floor, the rosewood furniture,
the piano, and the glowing fire in the
FURNISHED gate, the truth flashed even
through his top-heavy brain.
"By thepatron saint of all the tailors ~
exclaimed he, "I've got into the wrong
house. Timothy Titmouse, you re drunk
and no mistake. L wonder what Maria
would say to see me now; and by my
goose, what will the folks in the house
here say if they catch me? They will
take me for burglar, and, oh Lord, I'll
be sent to Jail sure"
His terror and dismay were ludicrous
to behold, and were decidedly increased
by the sound of the violent opening and
shutting of the front door and of foot
steps rapidly approaching the room in
which he was.
Seeing a screen standing in one corner
of the apartment, he, on the impulse of
the moment, darted behind it and
tremblingly awaited further develop
ments.
The door opened, and there entered n
lady and gentleman, who, by their
dress, had evidently attended the ball.
They were both in a decided ill-humor
and paced silently up and down the
room while they removed their outer
wraps.
"And you want to tell me, Mrs.
Winterbottom, exclaimed the gentle