The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-06-30

terry; or, as a couple OF doctors once occuple
the building, are these the bones Of subject
they dissected? To settle the dispute, the May
or publishes a request to the "owncrs Of tn
bones" If still living, to come forward, idcntif
and claim their property.
Elder McGhee is evidently not very badly cas-
down over his narrow escape from the gallows
The Creston Times says on the Sunday after hi
sentence to the pententiary, while the churcl
bells were ringing for morning service, he wa
playing cards in his cell, and was able to keel
perfect run Of the cards in spite of the clangin:
Of the bells.
Bob Toombs says: al am as proud to wor
ship the glorious Confederate flag now as | wa
on the battlefelds of Virginia, Maryland anc
Georgia" Well, if he prefers it, It's "a hear
sight cheaper than pew in church
The Murphy temperance movement is gaining
ground rapidly in Cincinnati. Many people ar,
daily signing the pledge and leaving the Rcpub
lcan party.-St. Louis TimeS
Since g. ". Child has been relieved Of The
mental strain Of entertaining Grant by turning
him over to the snobbery of England, he is abb,
TO resume his doleful pen and gives evidence
that he has lost none OF his inspiration by In
diting the following beautiful obituary verses:
He was a little Mayflower,
Too tender, sweet, and fair
To live 'mongst thorns OF sin and care,
SO Jesus took him from this world Of vice,
To bloom among the flowers Of Paradise.
without fear or a dread,
Without a struggle or moan,
lie met the grim angel OF death.
Who guided his spirit safe home.
Deacon Smith wants : Lo bamno,oti, ,,o,t, a.
die. BE patient, you truly good man. II will
die in time, and 20 TO Heaven. Then YOU will
never will see 1t agan.-Courir.Jo Journal.
The Norristown HeraM notes the fact that in
consequence of the large number of hotel clerks
and BARRIERS out Of employment this year, the
rush of Italian Counts, English Lords and for.
eign noblemen generally. at the watering places
this summer, is larger than ever before known.
II makes a boy sick TO look ut the picture OF a
Turk and think what big pockets he could have
in his pantaloons.
The income Of Baron Rothschild, who Is at the
head OF the Vienna banking house, is $4,000 per
cay And yet wisely rcfrains from wearing a
$4,000 diamond ring on his left hand for fear he
will be mistaken for the end man of a minstrel
show.
To the question, would you advise young
man to 20 to the Black Hills, IAN exchange re-
plies that "if the young man is learning TO play
cymbals or ACCORDION, trip to the hills would
doubtless be advisable. 1t may save his life, es-
peclally II he has irritable ncigkbors" If his on.
ly object. however is to gain wealth, running II
peanut stand at cross roods might be prefer.
able.
And now the festive granger sings:
How doth the sweet potato bug,
Unruiled and serene,
Smile, as he nips the tender plant
And leaves the Paris green.
The editor Of the Monmouth Regie,o claims to
have seen hens egg, the white of which con.
tanned squirmng snake three inches long, but
which died several hours after the egg was bro
Ken. What had he been drinking:
The bashful man who asked his girl If her fav-
orite beverage wasn't "pop," was referred to her
pepper,
Some Of our local dealers have had peaches
Tor sale They are apparently picked green in
Alabama and ripened on the way Including
The doctors bill, they are pretty expensive eat
ing.
controversy as to the doctrine OF the Trinity
having arisen in church ut Muscatine, Iowa,
one Of the deacons, in response TO profound
disquisition on the subject by the pastor, "clean
ed HIM OUT in the only way in which such sub
Jet is capable OF sensible treatment, by one Wig
Orous sentence: "You hell.heund! clear out
from Muscatiue. Your breath is injecting our
pure and holy doctrines. You are devil. and
devils belong TO hell"
4 western woman having been spoken of as
having one foot in the grave" wicked Jour.
nslist remarks that there must be big hole out
there somewheie
Chicago daily says: az mad dog was she,
On the north side Yesterday" Dogs should be
careful OF their north sides In Chicago
II DR. Mary Walker continues to pant for fame
why don't she 20 aud Join the Turks, and when
the Russians storm the Turkish stronghold she
can throw herself into the breaches yhit,Lan
1mses.
Packard Is 10 fool He told the Cincinnati
Republicans the other day tina, when the Repub-
lican party went out Of power Il went out to
stay.
The gnats have killed a number Of horses in
Missisc!ppi Why don't Hayes serd down some
troops:
The London Times gives up the Turks. They
win have 10 get new organ in England.
Epitaph in a cemetery, England:
Here lies the remains Of Thomas Woodhen
The most amiable Of husbands and excellent Of
men.
E.B.-His real name was woodcock, bu, 4.
road no; come IL rhyme.