The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-09-14
A Fourth of July Grafton that Made People
Laugh.

Bob Burdette, of the Burlington Hdaokeye,
burst out of his sanctum on the Fourth of
July and desolated suburban town with an
oration, from which we quote:
"Why have we assembled here to to-day?
What means this vast concourse of people,
these waving banners, these strains of soul
stirring music, this glittering array or beau
ty, patriotism and intelligence As face
this immense multitude am impressed with
one thought that flashes upon my very soul
and struggles in vain for utterance. 1t is the
thought that am not going to be able to
make one-half of these people hear word
say. 1t is not grand thought; it is not
even brilliant thought, but it is true, and
the truth is worth far more than brilliancy
and will tell the truth every time get an
opportunity. 1t isn't often that ! get q
chance. What with Tice's weather predic.
tions and the Presidents policy, a man has
to be vigilant, and lie awake nights and
watch his chances.in order to get an oppor-
tunity to tell truth once a week, and yet
this has nothing to do with the Turkish
war.
NhyB tnch, ioPCat, arc VIC nSoohiuou hOio
to-day? To rejoice that we are free peo-
pie, endowed with the inalienable rights of
life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness at
longer range that the precious boon and
heritage of freedom is ours, bequeathed US
by the fathers who fought, bled and died
that I and mine and you and yours might
breathe the air of fieedom and we rejoice
to-day, we are proud and happy and glad,
| glad, glad, that our fathers died for US in.
stead of compelling us to die for them. They
were great, great men in fact they were,
many of them, great grandfathers.
1t is sweet to die for ones country it
seems to me that 1, too, would gladly add
nay name to the great and good, and die for
my country-of old age. l would die SOON
er if it was necessary, but haven't got time.
| am too busy, But if any sacrifices are
needed next centennial, they may call on
me, and will either call or send hand.
Our fathers died for us, they died willing
ly and gladly. But if they could come back
again and see what kind of crowd they
died for, quarreling over the Presidents
policy, ,wrangling over the currency, and some
of them trying to pay dollars worth Of
debts with ninety cents worth of money,
talking politics twenty y-three hours day
and praying SO seldom that our knees get
rusty, drowned out by the rain, devoured by
grasshoppers, they would if they had it to do
over again, live nine thousand years and
only die when they had to.
| nd i,a N cvlo
derful, magnificent country 1t is marvel.
Gus. As high school girl would say, it Ii
nice" Look abroad over our land, turl
the pages of history, and see what the nigh
ty genius of progress has wrought But on'
short century ago the corner stone ot thii
mighty fabric was laid amid the thunder o
cannon and the rattle of musketry, cauopies
by the smoke of battle and cemented Will
blood. A little band of struggling, need,
patriots, half clad, poorly fed, with only
few dollars in the National Treasury. To
day the sun of l0l years breaks upon tn
land-wherever it isn't stormiug-and wher
: do we standG A billion dollars in debt.
Our fathers died, but they had no raj
roads. If they had they might have die
with less expense and trouble before the
got to the war. Our fathers never knew tn
ecstatic pleasure of leaning out car windo,
and getting red-hot cinder as big as a pc
: in the eye before they could look at a tire,
! They had no telegraph; and never kne,
= what convenience it was to pay forty cen
to send message fifty miles, and then hay
! the dispatch come tagging day or two a
ter the man had died of old age. They ha
no kerosene lamps, and they never kne
what it was to light kitchen fire and tax
ballon ascension out of the same can. The
; had no United States Signal Service, an
e never had forty-five rainy days in montl
y with tornado every wash day.
l. Their wants were simple They didn
l. need great deal of weather, and what the
It had was regulated by the ground hog, an
Is that reliable weather bureau never made
is mistake.