The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1877-06-28
PITH AND POINT.

ICE water, WITH q little lemon Juice IN
1t to take off the taste, is becoming the
fayorite drink. A stick" is sometimes
added says a Philadelphia topper.
/ The White Mountain hotels are open,
and fly fishing has commonwealth but
ter dishes and milk jugs-Boston Com
DaereidL Bulletin.
The only thing needed to make the
Yosemite Valley a paradise are few
more board fences, three or four more
skeletons of mules, some more old hats
and a hand organ.-Detroa Free Press.
.sTHERE's light dawning in the east"
remarks the war editor of a contemporary,
and for the sake of preserving the dignity
OF the newspaper business, We advise
young men to go home earlier.
THE time is at hand when a young
man with only ten cents in his pocket
vainly trieste lead his girl to the side of
the street most remote from ice cream
and temptation.-Rome Sentinel.
A WRITER says, The boys must help
themselves" Most boys do, until the
old man admonishes them by thrmp
on the head that somebody else likes cake
as well as they.-Rockland Courier.
. IT is almost time for some bah-headed
old journalist, who can't tell barley from
catnip, to come out with the annual
statement that the fences in America
take up ST. 900 acres of ground.
SOME fellow has written an essay en-.
titled " How to get Married Without a
Master" But man, in nine cases out
of ten, gets. master" as soon as he
gets married.
WHEN man gets on the downhill
road TO misfortune about the only con-
ISOLATION left him seems to be to kick an
other man who is going down still faster.
Home ,Sentinel. Al.
" Six feet in his beotsn said. Mrs.
Darlington, "and what will the imper-
ance OF this woxld come to, | wonder.
Why, they might as well tell me that a
man had six heads in his hat" ...i,
A MAN never so forcibly feels the in
convenience of being understood
until his wife informs him that if he had
been two-inches taller his old pants
would have made two new pairs for his
son. r-,..-. ...
ONE OF those instructive summer items
reads: "The Western Penitentiary at
Pittsburgh turns out one thousand pairs
of shoes daily" Sometimes, although il
is not stated, one of the leaving pairs has
convict in it.. -
" Ny. DEAR" said an affectionate wife
to her husband as she looked out of the
window, do you notice how green and
beautiful the grass looks on the neigh
boring hills?'' /" Well" was the unpoetic
response, what color would you have
it at this time of the year ?'
No heart but her own can know the
agony that rends Washington lady
correspondent when she is trying to ex-
plain what it is about a Senator's wife
who has red hair, one eye, freckles and a
wart on her nose, so irresistably beauti.
full and universally admired. 81
"AND where do you expect to go this
summer, num-" "To Saratoga. u
" We'll. then, mum, Pm afraid the place
won't SUIT. My young man summers at
Long Branch, and we could not be
separated, mum-not in the season.
Puck.
MINISTERS should remember that the
weather is growing very warm, and the
same congregation which sits delighted
through two and one-half hours of q
five-aet comedy can't possibly endure
more than twenty-five minutes of ser
mon and thrce-minute prayer. There
Is limit even to human endurance.
MERRILLA, the grocer, tells us that
the grocery business is not what it used
to be. 1t is a hundred times more ex-
acting now. He says this explaining to
every customer why the war in Europe
affects the price of broom, mackereI, or
paper ofecornstarch--is what is sapping
away his lie and covering the future
with a pall.-DanbWy News.
OF the many amusing plumbers of
printers and proof-readers one of the
most striking occurs in a volume of laws
of Vermont for 1876. Act No. %
amends section ty-cight-instead
of twenty-eight, which was probably in
tended-so that hereafter no person is to
be allowed to run a locomotive through
a saw-mili.
a GENTLEMAN at an evening wedding
was asked by a young lady if he was not
going to take some wedding cake to put
under his pillow to dream on" The
young gentleman replied that if he
wanted to dream he should eat good
quantity at the spread and then he
would be sure to have dreams both num-
erous and brilliant.-Boston Globe.
lr was at church strawberry festival,
and young man with two much shirt
collar looked supremacy sad and melan-
choly. The church pastor, noticing the
gloomy appearance of the youth, asked
him if he enjoyed religion, and the
young man replied that he did-until he
was charged $3.50 for % cents worth of
strawberries and cream. That settled it.
CIGARS are coming down. If every
smoker who has been used to smoking
expensive cigars would only manage to
use those that now sell sell eight for a
quarter, and put the balance in gen.
eral fund, we might shortly pay off the
national debt and fill the poor houses
with cigar men and wooden Indians out
of a job.-Danbury Ne,cs.
"DEAR FARMER CoUsIN.-We are
sorry to hear that you are afflicted with
potato bugs, locusts, eut-worms, aphides,
drought, etc, etc. We, including ell
oul tHllultli, seIIu our rove 10 you ana
your poor tired wife. We shall be along
to make yousa long visit about the. lst
of July. Just polish up your gun for
me. "-New York Herald
A RETAIL grocer sampling molasses at
wholesalers is about the most interest
ing object in the world. He takes the
stuff up on a chip, ticks some of it off,
smacks his lips, assumes a very profound
and knowing expression of countenance,
and, casting his eyes up into the farther
est corner of the room, as if he heard an
angel playing on moonlit piano, says,
" N-yum-yum, about bar'l er that, l
guess.-Danbury Ne,gs.
WHY is it." asks an exchange, "that
when woman falls down stairs she
screams out at every bump, while man
holds his breath until he gets to the bot
ton? a." " Why, it is because the woman
don't intend to do any swearing at the
bottom, while the man does, and saves
himself for a grand, comprehensive
" Observation-Disclosures when he gets