Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1877-09-14

AN ELoCUTIoN EXERCISE EQUAL TO
"THEoPHILus THISTLE, THE THISTLE
sIFTER."-During slight lull in business
the other day, two little bootblacks, one
white and one black, we're standing on
corner doing nothing, when the white boot
black agreed to black the black bootblnck's
boots. The black bootblack was Of course
willing to have his boots BACKED by his fell
low bootback, and the bootblack who had
agreed TO black the black bootblack's boots
went to work. When the bootblack bad
BACKED one of the black bootblack's boots
till il shone In n manner that would make
any bootblaok proud. this bootblack who
had agreed TO black the black bootblack's
boots, refused to black the other boot of the
black boolblack, until the black bootbiack,
who had consented to have the white boot
black black his boots, should add FIVE cents
TO the amount the white bootblack had
made backing other mems boots. This the
bootblack whose one boot had been black
ed refused to do, saying that 1t was COOL
enough for black bootback TO have one
boot black ed, and he didn't care whether
the boot that the bootblack hadn't black ed
was black or not. This made the bootblack
who had BACKED the black bootblack's
boots as angry as a bootblack often gets,
and he vented bis wrath by splitting upon
the BACKED boot of The black bootblack.
This reused the latent passion of the black
boot black, and he proceeded to boot the
white bootblack with the boot which the
white bootblack had BACKED. fight then
followed. The fraternity of bootbacks af-
forwards convened, and denounced the ac-
ton Of the white and black bootblacks as
one of the blacklist in the pages Of boot
black history.
10 connection with the above we subjoin
the following, as being good spelling les.
son for young and old:-
1.-THE most skillful gauger l ever knew
was maligned cobbler, armed with pom
lard, who drove pedder's wagon, using a
mullen stalk as an instrument of coercion
TO tyrannize over his pony, shod with calks.
He was Galilean Sadducee, and lie had a
phthisicky catarrb, diphtheria, and the
bilious intermittent erysipeas. A certain
sibyl, with the sobriquet of Gypsy went
into ecstasies OF exclamation at seeing him
measure bushe of pease, and separate
saccharine tomatoes from a heap of peeled
potatoes without dyeing or singeiug The ig-
nitible queue which he wore, or becoming
paralyzed with hemorrhage. Lifting her
eyes 10 The ceiling of the cupola of the Cap
ilol to conceal her unparalleled embarrass.
ment, making q rough courtesy, and not
harassing him with mystifying, rarefying,
and supplying nnuendoes, she gave him q
couch, bouquet of lilies, mignonette, and
fuchsias, treatise on mnemonics, a copy
of the Apocrypha in hieroglyphics, da-
guerreotypes of Mendelssohn and Koscius.
ko, kaleidoscope, dram vial of ipecac-
uanha, tea-spoonful of napbtha for dele
BILE purposes, ierule, clarionet, some
licorice, surcingle, a carnelian of SYM
metrical proportions, chronometer with a
| movable Dalance-wheel, a box of dominoes,
and a catechism. The gauger, who was al
| so trafficking rectifier and a parishioner
| of mine, preterring a wooden surtout This
choice was referable TO vacilating, occa
sionally occurring idiosyncrasy), wofully
uttered this apothegm, Life is checkered.
but schism, aposiasy, heresy, and villainy
shall be punished The sibyl apologizing-
| ~ answered, There is notably an alegea-
BILE difference between a comfortable ellipsis
and a trisyllabic di@resis. With perfect
tranquility we replied in trochees, not inn
pugning her suspicion"