Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-12-19
HunlOr.

Life is made up ov sunshine and
shadow about five shaddos to one
ne.-JoA Billings.
Josh Billings says, very truly, You'd
better not know SO much, than to know
SO many things that amt So"
A young Connecticut lady was lately
taken aback when her swain got upon
his knees before her and read declara-
ton of his love, which he had nicely
written off.
Every morning the ghost of busted
Bank-o rises in Chicago. The papers
there keep the article set up all the
while, leaving blanks to slip in the name
of the fiouciary institution and the name
OF the country to which the president
has departed.-Ne'o York Graphic.
I" Will you open the services?" asked
the deacon Of an FISHERMAN, who was
doing near the altar. "No," said he,
l have no knife"
The man who would raise his hand
against Gail Hamilton, except in the
way Of kindness, would-h'm he
would be very sorry for it-Rocbester
Democrat.
VINO IS 1t falterS when party tOtterS
And hangs and loiters
MOng spades and picks
IT'S Nevada Sharon, who wants to carom
On 200 tons of silver bricks.
Chicago .nter-Ocean.
District Visitor (bIandiy) "Well,
dame, and how do you find things nowY'
Crusty old cottager How do 1 find
things? Why, by looking arter 'em, to
be sure"
"What Going to leave us, James ?"
g. Yes, sir; Pm very sorry, sir, butI
really can't put up with missus any
longerp' "Ah, James think how long
I've put up with her!''
"The question:" said Bishop PIERCE
upon one occasion at missionary
meeting, and with thrilling effect, g is
not simply whether the heather can
be saved without the gospel, but wheth-
er we can be saved without giving it to
them"
why have you not inserted my last
article p asked bore of an editor.
That one [ last inserted was the last
one to insert" grimly said the editor.
o On, come now, was my article too
long," persisted the bore No; it was
too narrow" replied the editor.
"What do youscharge for quart of
your milk here?' asked man, as he
put his head in the door of the milk
shop Eight cents" was the reply.
" Amt you got any for seven cents?"
"No," said the proprietor; but" he
added eve can make some"
A Philadelphia poetess sings: "I
would not weep because the roses de-
No, indeed. That's nothing to cry for.
But when black oak wood is worth 81. so
q cord and the winter promises to last
five months, then you want to lift up
your voice and howl till they can hear
you in Nevada Burlington Haaukeye
An old colored lady of one of the
back counties sings all the good old
Methodist hymns, but gets them mixed
sometimes. She sings:
''sweet prospects, sweet birds and sweet flowers
Have all lost heir sweetness but me-"
And another:
Am shoulder Of boss,
quarter Of a lamb
She means all right, though, bless her
good heart ashland (Kg.) Reuiea0
A New Hartford magnate, who ex-
periences great satisfaction in dwelling
upon the fact that he is a self-made.
man. is given to poking sticks right,
and left withoutregard to politeness Or
propriety. The other day, in crowded
store, he commenced bantering neer-
do-well Of doubtful antecedents, who
drifted into town some years ago, wind
ing up his remarks as follows: "Say,.
now, did you ever have father or
mother?" "Sartin's you live," came,
back thereby, like a shot; I'm none
of your selfmade men,"