The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1877-08-23

lars u she would remain silent for two
hours A. the end Of Fifteen minutes
she asked. lent the time nearly upG'
FumentAtive frame Of mind. lately began
a prayer with these words "ParadoKi.
cal as 70 may appear 10 Thee. o Lord"
etc.
4. that your off-pring MADAME asksd
= Missouri judge OF = woman Who bad
hold Of a snub nosed boy's hand NO.
ar" she replied. This l. my oldest
boy"
From a tombstone in Cornwallis. Eag.
land.
Faiher aud Mother and
49, bufissi here aaumdsr.
Palmer sud Mother " hufis'i here.
Aud Do bufiel % oudsf.
fond Titusville (Pa) parent spent
half the day Saturday in the junk yards
looking tor the i-et of the psrior stove.
which the son had pawn-d. when be was
saving up tor the Fourth"
She was very particular. and when the
dealer informed her that all bis ice was
gathered winter before Last she wouldn't
give him her order She said he couldn't
FaAtA AM AAa hAAAs A4f On AfEs
Whist is that which has mouth and
never speaks. and bed and never slesps1
A river.
Everything Is not In = name The
small paths in Fairmount Park are called
foot paths, Will. the very large path on
the other side Of the river is eallvd . too
path
''Gentlemsn. Introduce 10 you my
frirud who isn't a. stupid as hs appears
10 be Introduced Friend. With vivaci-
~: "That's precisely the difference be-
tween my friend aud myself"
The Norwich Bulletin sayr "A sirl
who can pot q .qusr- patch on a pair of
pantzloous may not BE- 20 accomplished
n. one who can work green wor-ted dog
on yrllow ground bat sh- u Of more
real value IN the community
"lf you don't stop your coughing. sir."
aid t-sty and irritable judge. 4 u hue
you n hundred i.aund. "l'ii give your
lnr'lshtp two hundrrd " you can stop Il
for m~. was the ready r-ply.
Pray. Mr Professor. what is peri.
phrasisT' Madam. u u simply q circum-
locutory cycle OF oratorieal sonoro-ity,
ctrcum-cribing an atnm OF ideality. lost
in verbal prOiundity." Thank you,
Sir"
lIe was making a call. and they we're
talking Of literature. The Pilgrims
Progress" she remarked. always seems
10 me painful o. course you are fsmil.
lar With BunyanT' lie said he he'd one
on each foot, aud they troubled him
good deal
There u one thing about babies" says
q late travrl+r-''they never change. We
have girls Of the period. mvn Of the
world. but the baby is the same sslf poe.
-essrd. irarl-ss. laughing. vorseious little
hrathsn in all agss aud in all countfiss.'
Ia doesn't do a bit Of good 10 so 10
picnic sud stand ON the rivrr. bank and
admire the gorgeous sunset, nnd talk
about ths. tender beauti.a of nature 10 =
m.n who has iust at down on . eustard
pie.
A Law of tho N~E Perc-s is that a uid.
over .hsil not marry within year alter
the death ~ ht- wifr Bot psily EamY -
aiiowvd aud wh~n = man thinks his sick
vile i abtut tu 40. be- mafrtrs another
woman. aud 80 escsP-s The svafy year Of
SaittnF.
Onr day lat week tired looking man.
With th,. smrii of the swamp upon he
sarntrnts. came snvakiug into Tallahas.
see. with the returns Of thr back~.t coun.
ty IN Florida They gave the State 90
Buchanan aud Br~ckinridgv by an over.
whelmins majority.
- IL ..,. - 4.
remarked that be- supposed che was fond
oi ethuolosy. She ssid she was. but ahe
was not veiy well. nnd the doctor bad
told her not TO eat anything ior dessert
except oranges.
A tailor. dunning for an old debt. The
other day, as follows Dear Jim-Thia
little account has been standing ior ssv-
en- Year,, aud think 10 ia hish time 10
was paid To which Jim r-pii.d. on
the same sheet oi paper. while Snip's boy
was waiting Dear SAM don l. and
may a difference Of opinion never alter
/ irirndship.'
whats your heurvY said q bride.
groom (puttins his baud in bis pock~)
tn the clergyman that had Just married
/ him lie m--kly replied. The Law al.
/ lows me- two dnllars Does itf' eN.
claimed the young husband We'll. that's
| lib.ral But heres hity cents more. 90
uow you've two dollars and hali. aud
away br vent before the poor parson
could explain
A bright little girl Of our acquaintanco
a.k.d a. the iuliuwtuE conundrums Hos
many letter, are there ~ a postmans
bagf' We gave 10 up. aud she said thsr.
we're thrcv-baE
A shallow aud concrited nnhleman ob.
serving ouv day at dinner a prFsun smi.
uvut Tor his philosophical tHlvuts intrut
on choosing the dsltcariss OF the table.
said 20 hins What do philosophers
love daintirs9' why nou roturnsd
the scholar. DO you think. my lord,
that the good thing Of this Notld we're
made only Tor blockhradsY'
Rob was considered a stupid fellow but
I the ioilowing antcdotr shoss that be was
not 80 stupid as be waa thought 10 be-
/ tie was working in a Fafdrn one day
when two workmsn came up aud thouFht
/ TO have = laugh at his sNprnss. 90 they
A.krd him how many were pf~s~nt hub
couliy exclaimed. Oav huudrvd" They
burst tuto laughter. aud ask~d him how
be made that out oh. says he. m
the one aud on 20 the two nothinss."