The Morning herald., 1877-10-18
sUNBEAna.

He Is not very big man." said q 1reur
pear"" '''1 f5 ro' an ,',. ,a7"a o., " '1',rg'I
White lies roll themselves up into ooeoons.
and nett year they come out handsome,
full hedged, wing old whoppers. ~ S .
'Tm told, Mr.. Paine, that you are hard
drinker.T' Mot Bit" cried Paine. s'Not
bit; no man ever drank easier" 1r
The Black Hills Pioneer has changed edi-
tors five times in eleven weeks. There's
more bullets than pay. T. W. I.'<.''f' -.
The editor of the Kansas City Time,
tried to impound COW the other day, but
afterward found that he had committed d
bull. "'" '' '.' .''' 4
The printed invitations to negro ball in
Tennessee bore the advice: 'Leave your
razors at home for fear you may fall on
them " ~. ~ Il. -, n
A harassed husband thinks if the dress
maker would trim his wife's dresses less
and the butcher trim his meat more, he
could meet his obligations better. ~
"Do they ring two bells for school :"
asked father Of his ten-year-old daughter,
who attends high school. ''No, pa, they
ring one bell twice." she replied. '>' -
A scientific authority says that "a single
female horsefy will produce in one season
20, 0s0, 800 eggs" Great guns what must
the married ones dor .7 ,'.'ll
~ "You are pretty as picture" he NUT
tered, gazing into her upturned face, ''and
1t would have been great deal cheaper for
me, If ! had taken your picture instead o.
yourself" ~ nn| "'I 77'.h = az @" '' Z d
'ira"h IF - L"' .i' 0i 5.| 4
When q Texas neither falls out with her
child's teacher, she lassos him and throws
him to- the ground. The boys always in
for little fun, then hold him while the
old lady gives him q bulldose.
A London tailor has this sign in his win
dow: mo American orders taken without
deposit" Above bar in Chicago may be
read mo trust for alleged English noble
men." ."rn' IA E.0...-h L.
Somebody says that raw potatoes will
cure Drunkenness This may be so, butwe
hope it won't be put in practice before we
secure our winter supply:-Eastoa Free
Efesa y .Jf@e ".-. q" ,eLA "r ).'T"'
Every man hkes to hit the nail upon the
head, But let . man hit tho nail upon the
toe-his big toe particularly against a
huge rock, and .itiss different matter en-
tirsly" ~ n@, "%0.' ~. ''' IT." 'GS3 ..., ~ ~
Glass slippers have been produced al
Vienna. Many . insn, when he reads this,
win recall the days Of his boyhood, when
10 would have escaped many sbodly smart
bad glass shppers been IN vogue. "f";
Young man, beauty hdss q the years
60 by. Don't fall in love withHs woman
simply because she has pretty fsce. Re-
member that b wealthy 4ather-in.law is bot
tss than tho rosiest damsel In seven States.
,nt 1uF uIl' .n.t94Ei@u stiIeiA' @'"+I -..'l
''Is MI. Brown . man Of msans?" asked |
= gentleman of old Mrs. .Fizzekon, re-
ferTing 10 ono Of her neighbors. "Well,
reckon he ought to be-" dr. wled out the
DID LADY, tor he's the means.. Ian in our
kovu." - o. 'uL gidwH 'rl' '.H q"
A little girl In Clinton, H., was teaching |
her little brother the Lords prayer the |
other night, and when she said, "Give us
his day our daily bread" he suddenly |
called out: ''Pray for syrup, too, sister;
pray for syrup, tool" W |
Mamma, II we cross the bridge at night |
must we pay tolli" "Of course, my dear;
Why do you asks" 'Why, because the
liver will have gone to sleep" ooh, the
liver never goes to sleep" '9Then why has
t q bed, mammal" .3'!'-' u 'I.-'1 q
When he was young man he rushed into
! burning building and gallantly dragged
Ter out by the hair Of her head. They
we're married the next winter, and now she
ushes in and drags him out by the hair
# his head whenever she feels Like it. Such
s true love. u, lD .t' ..,
The skeleton Of q woman, lately sold toI
atisfy claim for rent against the estate
# county physician, had inscribed upon
t:-t'Miss ida Montague, aged twenty-five
ears. Died Of grief, May 25,. 1856. Her
eath-bed request 'Honor your sartum
nth my bones. >" 1913 ~ ' o.. .'tf ''F " y, Il
II tell you," said a Wisconsin man to a
eighbor the next day after burying his |
7ife, when I came to get into bed, and
~ thar, and not hear Lucinda ja'ving
round for an hour and half, it just made /
10 feel as If I'd moved into q strange q aoun- / !
~" .,r..uo,i ,... ..p ssl,,. 1A"- i,
-.l ..g,. .... '.,.n.. ~ o. ~ n II,
"Our daughter never dances out Of her
wn ,set," said proud dame at one Of 1
hose nondesclpt entertainments got up at