The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1877-03-08
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

l
/ The organ grinders life is filed with
the most turn realities.
II What is bookkeeping? FORGETTING to
return borrowed volumes.
/ After blowing. the farmer divides his
forces into harrowinp details.
4 a s;rfr,, J,ocbos+or ri ocLnor,,.,,.os
that she goes to church on pnrpose to fiirt
W;th hut ono ,aoxcent;on ever, ra;,,5o,, !,
Eof8c;a, ~ On ~ t,a Pennswiya,,;s Road h:s
.;sa,, fro,,, .,,a r.,I,a -'''' '
i''on .A iio,n 'l.o lanhs :.
oansd u' ~ Garanu ,ar oa and = haadad th;s h;s
,ia,, Tato N ro,,r co.,
wa" AaAS ~ you' So"
VINO Is always pusy, anu IKE cheerIui
FARMER "nlsties at us WORK
-MIs. Ial.'nston says lnat ike mas
Dought morse 80 spiriluous tnat ne a.
ways goes OIL In uecanter.
shave, cigar, box OF tooth-plcks and a
SHINE for, sweive cents, and, moreover, asks
MN 70 cal again:
What is the dlnerence between pyrox-
line and truant schoolbOy caught rabbit
hunting! One IS gun cotton and the other
is caught cunning.
The New Orleans Tima insists that
It Is better for man to 60 to Texas and
pc hung for horse,stealing than to live in
1onnectlcut ana have a tat office.
Many doctors contend that the bite Of
a dog will often cause hydrophobla,
whether the canine be mad or not. 1t is
better not 10 get pitten by dog at all.
The proprietor OF a line of stages in
New York has adopted the picture of a
whale as his business emblem He says
that that fish was the first Stay j onah men,
toned in history Amateur.
Doctors say that out of twenty men
shampooed by BARRIERS, at any season of
the year, fifteen will catch cold, and at
least two will die OF pneumonia. Read
this to the barber who says you have lots
OF dandruff.
Have you blue counterpane on your
bed now, at nights s-Er. A blue-eyed
wife is more healthy. A blue counter
1 pane won't get up nrst IN the morning to
make the fire and go to market.-NorTts-
town Herald.
=" never go to church." said . acoun-
Try tradesman TO MS clergyman. al
ways spend Sunday In settling accounts. +"
You VIII nnd, SIT, SAID the clergyman,
"that the day OF Judgment will be spent
In the same way"
-Rumor has 1t that Midhat Pasha used
to get drunk occasionally. The Sultan
was finally obliged to say to him: You
don't do as you Otto. oman; your de- Porte
ment is odlous, and l herewith give you
the grand bounce" H..
| -sPa, I guess your man Ralph is q
good Christian" How so, my boy?"
Why, pa, read In the Bible that the
wicked shall not live out half his days;
and Ralph says lie has lived out ever since
he was little boy"
--Itis claimed that if you cut off the
spray of q lilac bush and put it into hot
water so as to force it, there will be per-
feet bloom. Which statement proves that
the agricultural editor Will lilac any other
writer-St. Louis Rspu6tscan.
| She said it was very bright idea. He
said he knew brighter one, and when
she askebhim what it was, he answered,
" Your eye, dear!' There was silence
for moment, and then she laid her head
upon the rim OF his ear and wept.
-" never can enjoy poetry when I'm
cookin'," said an old lady; "but when l
step out to feed the hogs, and h list myself
on the fence and throw my soul into afew
| lines Of Cap'n Jinks,' it does seem as if
this airth was made to live on, after all"
| You never hear woman sing " I'm
growing DID,, american women never
grow old. They are on intimate terms
with Time, and that susceptible veteran
appears to find their society SO agreeable
that he never moves fast enough to get
out Of their company.
cnes nv MeG Grahamte avrn svste% ngs' Hs recom
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