Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1877-01-26
F. q N =


He ONLY HAD ANoTHER.-A South
Hill school-marm. the other day, while
working al example on the board, detect
ed az urchin directly behind herr in the I'M
lawful act of %devouring an apple. She said
to him, ''Tim, what are you doing?"
"No'hin," said Tim, with his mouth so
full that his cheeks stuck out on either
side like aldermen's stomachs. Eyes, you
are," p~aradoxically insisted the teacher;
''what have you in your hands?"
I@Napple," said Tim, with some surprise,
as he looked at the fragment of the apple
in his hand, and wondered who had bit it
while he was studying. "What has be-
come of the rest of it?' Dunno said
Tim, looking al ound in an amazed effort
to discover who had the rest of it. "Some-
body's been eatin' it.'' "Haye you any
more?" demanded the teacher. "Yes'm,"
said Tim, dolefully, "got mother .""Where
is it," relentlessly pursued the teacher.
lin my desk" sighed Tim, as he began to
suspect that the teacher was going to de
mand it of him. s'Well, take it out and
go stand on the platform and eat it, Eat
'em both?" queried Tim. Eyes, eat them
both" Eat all / got?" demanded Tim
in a subdued tone of voice. Eyes, eat all
you have,'' impatiently responded the
teacher, and turning to the board, con-
tinued, ''and don't you leave that platform
while you have an apple uneaten." Silence
reigned in the school room. The pape.
pellet pursued its tranquil transit unob-
served. The busy hum OF the studious
made more noise than the cautious smile
of the indolent. Tim stood at his post.
The fragment in his hand soon disappeared
and he fell upon the other apple silently,
but determinedly. Quickly it followed the
first. Then he put his right hand into his
pocket and took out an apple, and, after a
cautious reconnoitre, during which he
wiped it on his trowsers, he began the at
tack. He carried the fort. Down went the
hand again and another apple was brought
to light. 1t was quickly dispatched. A
third followed. Then he changed his posi-
ton, and resting the weight of his body on
his left leg, sighed as he drew from his
LETT breeches pocket another apple. When
it was gone he drew on the commissary for
another, and by the time he produced the
eighth apple he wa silently being observed
by two thirds of the boys in the room.
The teacher turned and saw the boy still
standing in the attitude Of one who was
reaching for something in his coat pocket.
"Aren't you through yet?' she queried in
some establishment. "Got mother, "stoical,
ly responded Tim, producing it and falling
to work on it. In surprise the teacher saw
him reach for still another, and when that
was gone surprise grew to amazenaent as
his %unwavering hand again sought the
gaping mouth of that pocket. AS the boy
ate he grew in dimensions, and the teacher
became alarmed. There seemed to be no
end to the apples that he had in his
clothes. "Tim, for mercys' sake have you
any more apples 7" SCOT another said
Tim, indifferently. "How many more ap-
Piles have you ?" sDunno," said Tim !;
''gess got two or three more" The
teacher did not dare to proceed, and ap-
pointed herself an investigating COM
mittee to look after the back counties.
Tha boy never changed a muscle of his
countenence nor moved an inch while that
teacher pulled apple after apple from his
coat, and stacked them upon the desk, un-
til there was something less than a peck
piled up, with Dade county to hear from.
The matter hasn't been laid before the
the school board yet, but the exhausted
school marin declares that the next time
she will learn how much of a crop Of ap-
piles a boy has about him before she issues
any ordeYs.-Buwlin gton Hawkeye.
a teacher in a Portland Sunday school
was enlightening her pupils as to the ex-
traordinary number of Solomon's wives,
when a little fellow spoke up: 'Golly! I
should think he'd get tired OF going court
ing and getting married.