St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1877-11-16
Squibs.

College incident-First junior 81
say, Bill, where is the Latin lesson qn
Second junior-"On page 304 of the
horse don't know where it is in the
other book"
"Hurrah hurrah !" cried a young
lawyer who succeeded to his fathers
practice, give settled that old lawsuit
at last.n "Settled itr exclaimed the
astonished parent, "Why, we've sup
ported the family on that fol the last
ten years"
No one can better appreciate the fact
that the world is full of hollow mock
cries than the man who prepares lee
ture withthe title "How to Get Rich,n
and then cannot make enough money
by it to pay his hotel bills.-Turner's
Falls Reporter.
The New York Tribune says the place
for Cleopatra's needle-when it arrives
-"is that point which is daily passed
by the greatest number of citizens"
We should think the temperance peO-
pie of that city would strongly object
to having the ancient Obelisk set up in
front of a beer saloon.-NOYristOUU Her.
aid.
If some one should write book and
call it "My Great Toe," somebody else
would Immediately issue "My Little
Toe," followed rapidly by the second,
er portions of the pedal anatomy. Ser
vile imitation seems to be the rage
among the book-makers of the day
Fat Contributor.
Harper's Bazaar says "ladies will wear
camePs hair ulsters this winter" We
don't like to dispute such an authority
as the Bazaar, but we'll bet Mr.. Harper
$500 we know one woman who will
wear the same old eighty-five cent
waterproof all winter long, unless her
husbands lottery ticket catches more
christian number than oughty ought
hundred and oughty, as it did last time.
Burlington Hawkeye.
The Monitor says 1.-THE barn and
contents of l.. E. AinswOrth we're burn
ed on the Doth ult. Kerosene the cause.
Loss about $500; insured.n We are
sorry that Mr.. Ainsworth's ''contentsn
we're burned, but are glad to hear that
they were insured. That leaves him
better off than the most of us.-St. Al
bans Messenger.
lC was PlCOOJ $OON etO OhO pay Odo
iness,n said Mr.. Grant, coDtemplatively
regarding the tomb of Shakespeare, "but
| should like to have seen him fighting
Bob Lee or trying to be good presi-
dent with Charles Sumner chairman of
the committee on foreign relations."-
Rochester Democrat.
Mistress ION coming
home from the seaside): "Why, Jane,
what's become of the bulfnch 2" Jane:
s'Well, you see, MN, it didn't say much
and looked droopin' like, SO cook put it
out of its misery, am lad it stuffed for
my 'at."-Punch.
No great catch after all.-Irate squire {:
"Hi, you, sirl You're fishing in my
river. / demand what you've caught"
Fisherman "All right, Gov'nor. Pve
caught cold, and Pm catching the
rheumatics, and you're jolly welcome
to 'em both. Funny Folks.
A marvellous escape from death by
! lightning was that of Mr.. Vest of Suisun
Valley, Cal, the other day, when bolt
struck the buggy in which he was rid
ing, tore the top completely off, twist
ed up the iron work of the vehicle,
killed both his horses, and tore off two
panels from the fence in front of him.
Mr.. Vest himself was stunned for the
moment, and probably good deal
pulled down.
This is good paragraph for minis
ters, from the Burlington Hawkeye ;
The winter is closing in upon the cler-
gymen of this country with most ap-
palling seventies. A season of incess-
ant and pitiless donation parties has
been arranged by many of the denom-
nations, and the prospect is that hun
dreds of ministers, who are not able to
keep dog and don't know how to fire
a gun, will perish from starvation.