The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-15
An Hour ut the Court.
Detroit Free Press.l

The political excitement has reached
the Central Station. A crowd of boys
waited on Bijah at an early hour Satur-
day morning to secure his political views
ON various subjects. The spokesman of
the party led off with:
Mr.. Joy, what do you think of free
trader"
Waal, I Dunno" he replied as he
folded up the broom and put it away.
"I don't think feller should trade off
good watch for an old gun or a poor
dog"
"What do you think of the Mexican
question ?'
''I didn't know as the Mex1cans had
asked any question:" was the blunt
answer.
Chow do you stand on the silver
bill?''
"Never saw one, boys. All the bills
| ever saw were paper, except Buffalo
Bill"
"Mr. Joy, have you Southern
policyr'
Dive played policy with those
Kentucky fellows"
"Mr. Joy, if you were nominated for
some high Office what pledges would you
make ?'
"Pd pledge myself to accept the
nomination, mighty quick!'
"Well, sir, was the Dred Scott decision
satisfactory to you"
"I-I guess it was, boys, though |
never knew what Scott dreaded"
We may all live to see Bijah holding
some high office-janitor of the City
Hall tower, for instance.
"ACT H."
William johnson stood before the bar
with downcast look and detected air,
and he didn't even smile when his Honor
began:
''Ah! well do remember,
Twas the fourteenth of September,
l sent you up an even thirty days,
For mistaking Beeeher's alley
For the yo-se-mighty valley
And lying there before the public gaze.
ssIt seems only few hours agone, and
here you are once more. The boys saw
you wire-pulling around in the morning.
At noon you were pulling at a bottle.
At dusk they pulled you in on hand
cart. You should let pull-atics alone,
Mr.. Johnson"
Cant it be looked over this once,
sir? The boys always expect to have a
little fun when lection comes"
"I know it, William, but you set out
too early. You got drunk before all the
nominations were made. If last night
had been made joyful by the sound of
cannon, the music of bands, the yells of
the populace and the internal boots of
the small boy / should this morning say
to you: William johnson finish your
constitution with the rolling-pin.' As
the case stands, it is thirty days more.
You will lose your vote, but we can
import voter from Canada if ne
cesssary."
"THE GIRL HE LEFT BEHIND HIM."
"When you look down on me you are
looking upon a heart-broken woman, F"
said Eliza Powers, as she wiped her. eyes
before the desk.
"They come here most every day., %
he replied.
81 was married four weeks ago." she
sighed as she softly scratched her nose.
" was living as cozy as duck, up on
Chene Street, when Powers first found
me- He said he was struck by my
beauty"
"Was he crazy? softly inquired
his Honor, after the boys got through
laughing.
"No, sir. He was nice man, or so
thought then He could quote off the
incest poetry you ever heard. He could
tell you how long George Washington
was President, which is the biggest city
in the world, when old John Brown was
killed, and lots of other things. And ht
called me his angel, sir, and he was al
ways talking about my raving locks ano
chestnut eyes"
"Hurry up-come to the family fight
as soon as you car" warned the court a
she paused for breath.
"Can tell what wore when we wen
to be married?''
"No, ma am. The law doesn't know
as you wore anything"
dwell, 1 did, sir! Dye spose I'd b
married without clothes, and goo
clothes, too! Well, as / was saying, we''
been married three days when hit hin
slap on the ear and he gave me GU
on the mouth"
"Any more ?'
eyes, sir, but it was his fault. II
. called me names, and he objected when
, took little sip to draw me seven dollar
out of the bank and let him invest it fo
+ me. The other day he left me. We ha
: a row, sir, and because / backed hiI
f into the wood-box and jammed his hea
agin a nail he flew to Canada.
g Pm left here with me sorrow
= This dark day;
Z That ! may die tomorrow
e l shall pray"