The Findlay Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Hancock County, Ohio) 1870-1881, 1877-01-19
Wif and Dnmor.

A young lady sent poem to a British
newspaper entitled: i can not make
him smile" The beast of al edi:or
ventures to express an opinion that she
would have succeeded had she shown
him the poem.
A man was so busy talking about
taking arms in defense of outraged liber-
ty last week that he did not hear his wife
call him to bring pail of water, but he
escaped by crawling under the garden
fence.-Erchange
Young man, don't attempt to carve a
turkey when your girl is watching you
at the table, for you can't do it. We
tried it onceand whisked drumsticks on
her silk waist, and have been paying
damages forthe last fifteen years
The Danbury Neus suggests that a
profanity car" should be attached to
every railroad train, as well as smok
ing car. Bailey is travelling a good deal
during the lecture season and we don't
know but it. would be good idea
Hairdresser-'aAny off the beard, Sir?'
Customer-aNo, thank you. I've lately
trimmed it myself" Hairdresser-@In-
deed. Sir, l should not thought any
gentleman out of the profession coldu
have done it SO well."-Panch.
Here is some Partisan humor: On the
first night of the new piece pretty
young actress advanced to the front of
the stage, Haunting an exquisite new
costume. That must have cost 5000
francs" said audibly lady who sat with
her husband in the front row. No, no
only 2,500," he said mechanically Then
he found her eye fixed on him and was
silent
The Home JoarnaL objects to the wear
ing of Diamonds when travelling, becausel
it is vulgar. 1t is position which We
assumed years ago, and we are glad to
say that no one connected with this
paper has ever been known to be guilty
of such vulgarity. We have occasion
ally taken ride with a lawyer, but
there are some depths to which We
cannot sink.-Norwich BuLLdin.
A Fair Haven VT, drug clerk sent ]
J Perkins to the happy hunting ground
the other day, by giving him hellebore
instead of valerien. The drug clerk was
much chagrined when they told him of
his mistake, and he said the first day
there wasn't much doing he believed
he'd have to paste labels on some of the
bottles; the old man was getting to carry
such stock of stuff on the shelves now.
that no fellow could remember halfofit.
Burlington Hauheye. .--sr.
The boys were coasting on the hill
last evening, and their happy young
voices made the night merry. MANY
weary man, worn with this empty life
stopped and listened, and per-
haps tear gathered as he wished he too
was lad again. Then boy threw a
SNOWFALL at him and he chased him
four blocks and licked him till he couldn't
stand up without leaning against the
wall-Noruich Bulletin
One of the United States Marshals at
Boston-a man whom all citizens of th 1t
small town will remember-was wit of
| dry and quaint sort. When on his
leath-bed one of his friends appeared TO
comfort him. well, Colonel" said the
'ick man despondently, am going
,han't be alive an hour from now" The
Colonel felt of the invalids feet Non
sense" said he, your feet are warm. No
nan was ever known to die when his
eet were warm" ugh said the dying
nan, sharply. what about John Rog-
RS"
Thus they float: The geologist of the
Burlington Haark-Eye thinks that toads
,et into rocks by digging down with
Dads tools. This is incorrect; they get