Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1877-08-01
VINO DIarovered Annrina

DA4-oNGEg4 america.
] see, said the professor, cooking mn
his legs upon the stove in the grocery
store, Il see that they talk of putting No
q monument TO Christopher Columbus.
It's too bad The way people We been
fooled about him. He never discovered
America, and I've made up nv mind 10
bust that old fraud and shake him out
and let the people see what kind of a
rotton old swindle he is"
You say that Columbus didn't dis.
cover American asked Mr.. PARTRIDGE.
Certainly he didn't. He was a mean
mulberry sneak, who went padding
around IN a scow letting on he was
doing big things when he hadn't pluek
enough to get out of sight of land"
Who did discover it, them"
We'll I'll tell you fellows in advance
OF publication, but mind you lay low
about it. II was PotipharlH
"What wa bis first manner"
First name2 Why he hadn't any
II was only Potiphar-old Pharaoh's
Potiphar, you know"
How'd you find out about itY'
Why, you know old Gridley, M in
the city, Well, last year he was in
Egypt, and he brought home a mummy
all wrapped up in bed clothes and SOL
dered around with sealing.wax. Grid.
ley asked me to come over and helm TO
undress him, and 10 we tackled that
mummy, and after rolling OFF a couple of
hundred yards of calico we reached him.
Locked exactly like dried beef. Black
as your hat and just about tender
enough to chip down for tea. Gridley
said he'd like to know who the old
rooster was, and | looked him over TO
lind out. You know how they put IN
a mummy, don't your Take out all his
machinery inside, and fill him up with
Eutmegs aud cinnamon. Then they set
a brass door-plate in his stomach and
make some little memoranda, with obit-
nary poetry, and all hat aind of thing.
Anyhow, after polishing him up with a
tesh'brush for n minute or two, | found
the door.plate, and with some care
managed TO read the inscription on it.
1t was this: / am Potiphar, servant of
Pharaoh. | was buried three thousand
years before the Christian era. l dis.
covered America. G. Columbus was an
imposter. That's what the inscription
said, and in my opinion that settles it.
New I'll tell yeu what I'm going to do.
I've had a cast made of that dried beef.
and ! intend to have it swelled all ONT
and made into q statue, and I'm going
10 set 1t up at my own expense alongside
the statue of Columbus, and have a sign
put on it to the effect that Columbus is a
ragged old fraud, Then | intend to get
up q memorial to Congress, asking it to
change the name OF the country to
Potlpharia, and to make Potiphar's sa-
cred animal, the tom.cat, the emblemnii-
cal bird OF the nation, instead OF the
eagle. Be a big thing, won't it, TO com.
pei everybody to sing Hail Potipharia,
happy lahdl and 'PotiphAria, the Gem
Of the ocean,
You say you read the inscription on
the plate" said Partridge. Il didn't
know you understood the language"
Can read 1t as easy as a, b, c."
Buried three thousand years before
the Christian era, l think you said it
read How did old Pot know anything
about the Christian era if he died that
long before2'
Blamed if know. Cast his prophetic
eye over the future, | s'pose."
well, how in the thunder could he
tell that Columbus was going to claim to
discover American
That's so. | dunno. Is kinder
queer"
DO you know what l think oil your
asked Partridge. II think you'd lie the
hair off of an old-iashioned trunk, and
that if l was asked to nominate tho
champion American fraud to 60 on a
pedestal at some national exhibition I'd
send in your name"
Would you, though, really ?"
81 would"
We'll, it's surprising how well you
know me-
The Potipaar memorial hos not yet
been sent to Congress.
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