The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1877-11-01

ners, iDa-much ~ they vary in every
country. and even in the same couutr,
change about with the wsathercock o
! Ia hion. Vanity renders people too self
I conscious to have good manners. for j.
we are always thinking Of the impression
We are making. we cannot give enough
attention To the feelings and conversation
OF Others. Without trying to be- natural
an effort that would make us most ar
titicial-we must be- natural by forgetting
self in the desire to please others. FL
derly unmarried ladies. students, and
those who lead lonely lives generally
not unir"qurnfly acquire wkward man
ners. the result OF seltconscious seusi
tivPness.
Shyness was a source Of misery to the
late Archbishop Whstely. WHEN at Ok.
ford, his white rough coat aud white hat
obtained Tor him the sobriquet OF The
White Bar" ard his manners. accord.
ing to his own account oi himself. cor.
responded with the apptllation. lie was
directed. hy wsy of remedy. to copy the
example oi the best mHunered men b..
met in socirty; hut the attempt To do
this only increased his shyness lie
found that h.. was all the while thinking z
of himself rather than of others; whereas
thinking of others rather than OF one :
sell IL the rs>encs Oi pOlii' Mss. Finding
that be WAS making no progress. he said
tO himself: II have tired my very ut.
most. and find that ] must be- as awk-
ward as bear all my lite, in spite of IT,.
| will .ndeavor to think about il as littls.
a. "A bear, and make up my mind TO en-
dure what cant be- cured" la thus en-
desvorIng To shake of all consciousness
as TO manner, hs says: IL succeeded he
yOnd my expectations; for ] not only got
rid of the personal suffering OF shyuess,
but also OF most nf those faults OF manu-r
which consciousness producrs; aud nc.
qnirrd at once AN easy aud natural man.
nrr-carrlrss indeed i'm the extreme, from
its originating in stern d+fiaucr oI opin
ion, which ! had convinced myself must
be- ever against mr; rough aud swkward
for smOOthness and grace srs quite out
Of my way. and Of course tuiorially pe
danIIc; hut unconscious. aud therefore
giving expression to that good wall tow
ards men which ! really i.el; and these
believe are the main points
Vanity Again il the source of that
bnasting selta-ssrtion which i b.. bsu-.
OF manners lie j. an IA uaunrr.d man
who j. always loud in thu praises Of bim
self and ot hi children; whn boasting oi
his rank 81 his business Of achievements
in his calling Looks down upon lower or
ders of people: who cannot refrain from
having his joke at the expense of snoth-
rrs charhct-r. Whose smart thing mu-t
come out because lac has not the gentle.
manly feeling that suggests To US
Never to him Z our pleasure or oar pride
Win sorrow To the meanest ttin- that liy.S
The habit OF ssying rude things. Of run
ming people down. springs not 90 much
from ~ nature as from that vanity that
would rather lose tri.ud than = Joke.
Oh this point Dr. johnson once remark
"d: Sir man has no more right to
say an unciyil thing than TO act Oue--uo
more right 10 saw a rude thing TO an0th.r
than 10 knock him down The vain
rgOtism that di-rrsarsls others j. shown
IN various unpolit- ways; a., for instance,
by neglect of prnpriety IN dress. by th.
absence nf CLEANLINESS, or los iudulging ia
r-pulSive habits. ) Ime think themselves
so wei! burn. 20 clever, or go rich, H. Ia
he above caring what others say and
cent kings ni Egypt u-cd "a commence
sPeecbrs TO their subjects with the for
mula, by to. head OF Pharaoh, ve are all
who take this swine-theury view OF their
neigbbOrs should be- careless OF setting
their tastes and feelings Bt defanee
Contrast such puppyism with the conduct
OF David AuciilOn. a famous liugusnot
preacher. on. of whose motives tor .Iudy.
ing his sermons with the greatest csrr
was that II was shelving too little estr,-m
for the public To take no pains in prepa
ration. aud that n man who should ap
pear on n ceremonial day in his night csp
and dreS>ing-gown could not commit a
greater breach OF ciyility."
spite and Ill nature" il has been said.
"are among the most Expensive luxufi.r
OF lite; and this is iru-, Tor none OF u
can afford To uiround himself with the
host oi enemies We are sure to make H.
when young, we allow ~ nature To- pro
duce in US unmanutrly habits. Good
like good words, cost nothing
and are worth everything What advAn
tagp, fer instance, did the books on
W hom Dr. johnson once called TO solicit
employment get from his brutal reply:
Go buy portcrs knot and carry
trunk 2 The surly nature OF such mrn
prevent them from ever entertaining an
g-lz uuswsres
IL is want OF sympathy. however. much
more than a bad natur.. that produces
the i'll hammered harineS. of character
80 well described by sydney Smith:
4" Hardness j. want of minute attention
To the feelings of oIhers. IL does not
prnceed FROM mhlienity or carrlessne- of
INJECTING pain. but from a wasn't ol deli
cat. perception of thuse little things by
which pleasure is conferred or pain ex
cited A hard person thinks he has don"
enough if he dups not sprak ill nf your
rel.t on~. your children. ar your country;
aud then. with the gree test good humor
and volubility, and with total iHstI.n
tIon tn your individual state aud Iss'-i
tion. gailops over thousand fine ieel
ings. and lsav-s in every step the mark
Of his hoo's upon your heart Analy-"
the conversation ot n wrli-Lred man who
is clear uf the h"srtting ~in ut ha'dn"--:
il is p.rU-tual homage of polite gn"d-
nature la the meantime. the gentleman
on the other side oi you & highly moral
and respectable mani has b-'n crushing
litil- srnsibiiiti.s. aud violating It'll"
prnprieiies. aud overlooking lutte dis
aud without vi"laiing any
thing which can be called rule or com
mitting what can b.. drTominatrd fault
has displ-ased aud dispirited YOU. from
wanting that fine vi-iou which ~A@s littl'
things, and that delicate touch which
handles them. and that fine sympathy
which this superior moral organization
always bestows."
OF course we must not judge people
too much by external manner. tor many
a man hiss nothing OF the bear about hirn
but his skin Nevertheless a. We cannot
expect people in general to take time to
h.zf hat ff.h he
il il foolish to roll ourselves into a prick
ly ball on the approach OF Strangers. II
We 10 go, we cannot wonder st their *
claiming: "A rough Chrisiian!" as the
dog said of the hedgehog.
Il is difficult to see how the natural.
born tool to use au American rxprss-
- .rnr bnp.. A., i,...prn.. cell man