The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1877-04-12
WHOLE NO. 1856.
Miscellaneous.

A notorious eavesdsopper-rain.
A green groeer-one who trusts
Long divi,ion-separation FOR life.
A 6nsi rsport-ths crack Of doom.
Cutting Notwithstanding Newspaper.
An expensive wife makes = PsnsiEs
husband.
People Who live in glass houses have
blue panes.
The man at the wheel has stern duty
10 perform.
Servants should attend roll-eall when
bakers deliver bread.
The eolored hoy Who had eaten too
much boiled cane juice felt like Iugar
cured Ham.
Boots Backed Inside" 10 a sisn on
Fourth Avenue window.
II you would know the value Of mon.
sy. 80 try and borrow some.
A hot mine~pie will keep man awake
a. long as . guilty eonseienee.
One touch Of rheumatism makes the
whole world aching.
The particular young man. looking for
business 10 SCOT him, should try chin
ney sweeping.
If persons would tASe more trouble
shout living. they would be less troabled
when dying.
Columbus was the fret mAn 10 estab-
lish an iron foundry In America. lie
east an anchor.
Il am broken man" said . poet
so ] should think" was the answer.
"ior have seen your pieces.
Husbands and fathers will be pleased
10 learn that small checks" are 10 be
fashionable for silks next summer.
The good are said 10 die young: bat.
according 70 Insurance. alAtistics . Neu
England clergyman lives 10 be 6S years
cro.seyrd schoolmsrm can keep twics
the usuAl'nvmber Of children In order al
once.
man who attempted 10 stand on bic
dignity the other day couldn't do ii.
The platform vas too narrow.
A cilizen Of Albany wants 1900 Cor
brrAking hi. collar bone on the street.
iug ~ t35 zach in New York.
Lady Mary wortlsy Montague once
-aid Ia Ko-s far 10 reconcile me ta BE-
ing a woman When ! fsa-ct that ! am
thus In no danger Of ever marrying one"
A Chicago girl. who claims to have
proved u by experiment. says that ~
putting q lov-r in the light OF blu- glass
window he eau be made 10 propose a
one sitting
n you want 10 be In style. you will
wear an amethyst 1ng on the third hn-
ger OF the l-t hand. Also cough sadly
nov aud then. a. " you we're the Last of
an illustrious family.
Those were merry old days when u
wAs accounted the proper thing for
gentleman Who took snuh from young
lady's snua box immediately 10 cxclaim.
with bow; -l-kissyou."
Captain Burnaby vas asked by his Tur.
CONAN guide which an Enslishman loves
beat, he horse or nj. wife. Bot the au-
thor answered diplomstically That
depends on the woman"
A remark Of Josh Billings II kno ov
people 90 iond OF Capitalization that 10
would noI surpri1s me ~ al TO hsar
them disputing With . guide board about
III. distance 10 the next town"
Ifthe paragraphers Of the press persist
Ia making puna on SchutEs uam-. 70 will
raise his eholrr Then look outl
when does . msn practically display
bis unwillingness 70 remain = n=rrow-
minded man1 When he remains abroad.
Il takes longer 10 write sage" than
any other word In the EnElish language.
Because. after you make the hrst ..
there is an age before you can add the
hnal letter.
A notorious criminal named Mollls
Matches has just been imprisoned at
Cleveland. She threatens. however. 20
break Lueifer friends will assist her.
A punster was once thrust into closet
with the threat that he would not be re-
leased until he made pun. Almost "a.
Simultaneously be exclaimed, "OPun
the doorr'
The philadelphia North American. ss
Ia tries 10 put up its old blue cotton um-
brella. gtowi. out the opinion that these
equinoxes are insernal nuisanees.
From one Point Of view-Scens Brit
ish Jury room All agreed on their yer.
dict excerpt lrish juryman (who holds
os.l "Ah. thin. iliv'n more obstinit
men nivir met in all me loifof'
"Ohl yes." sAid an oil lady. "the mod.
ern cook stove is great invention. and
when my Toy James gets through bis
studies in practical engineering. 90 he
can come home aud run Il. III buy one
Of en- but not aiore.
Pat Masinnis has . very stubborn
mule. whtuh h~ calls "Olh MuskrL" Cd
being asksd why be EavS the mule that
name h@ SAID. "B~rHuse the stubborn
beast Won't 80 OF without kick"
A pr~eocious boy Of eight summers al
tribute. the death OF pct tFoldhsh-his
sist~r's idol-to the fact thst u couldn't
take Joke BY way of Joke he ussd 10
catch q occasionally With bent pin.
Il was en- Irish pilot who. being asked
II he knew the rocks in the hArbor. ro-
pli~d with conhdsnee: u do. yer honor.
ivery wan Av them. That's van" no
Addrd calmly, as tho chip struck u. hllsd.
aud sank.
"Ali the worlds a stage" he ruminat.
ed. "And al the men and women merely
players. and most Of the plays are from
Shakespeare. tool Before 80 were mar.
Rcd. Julia and played Romeo and ia.