The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-02-16
VARIETIES.

| The blacksmith, no matter how vel
'e is paid, is always on strike
"A lady was once asked the reason why
he always came SO early to church. /" Be
| rtu'e," said she, lit is part of my religion
ever to disturb the rtliL ion of oth,rs."
Boston Joke: The following CONVEX
| lion took place recently in II hotel =
| Waiter |" Yes, Sir" " What's this ?
It's bean soup, SIR g No matter whar
has been, the question: is what is it
| .owH"
An experienced lady obserres that h
| ;ood way to pick out husband is to SEE
iow patiently he waits for dinner when il
J behind time. Her husband remark,
h 1t good way to pick out wife is It
"""ther the woman has dinner ready
in time.
Give me-" said Lubin to his fair. t,
whom he would be more than friend "giv,
ne the little ring you wear, tits like m,
vet has no end. Excuse me, that
cannot do /; my heart you have no hop,
II winning, the ring is like my love fi
you, for, Lubin, it has no beginning!'
= Don't put too much confidence in
overs vows and sighs," said Mrs. Parting.
on to her niece; let him tell you tina,
on have lips like strawberries and cream.
'heeks like Il turnation, and eyes like al
,sterisk; but such things oitener CON.
from tender head than a tender heart"
An Irishmqn to whom some wonder
ful story was told on the authority of u
benny paper declined to believe it. saying
ie distrusted all he saw in the cheap
Prints" Why shouldn't you believe th,
heap papers," he was asked, " as soon as
INV other 7" Because" was his answer.
I don't think they can afford to speak til,
ruth for the money"
Paddy Doolan, keen, ready witted
Hibernian wag, always had word 70,
verybrdy, let it hit how it might. Paid.
vent into IL shop one day to buy eggs
How is eggs to-day 2" "eggs are egg,
.o.day. Paddy" replied the shopman,
hooking quite triumphantly at two OF three
Young lady customers who happened to b.,
in the shop. Faith, I'm glad to hear yez
s,y &c." replied Paddy, " for the last ones
got were chickens"
AT u recent examination for teachers
certificates by our county board. one OF
the exercises was: "Defne hyperbole and
rive an example" To which one of til,
applicants responded as follows: "A
hyperbole is an exaggeration of the truth,
used to illustrate wit or humor. Example:
The train running between Silver Springs
md Point of Rocks goes with such speed
Il hat the kiss left on the hand of Mr.. Smit
NV his Sligo girl was not dry before it was
shaken by his girl at Point of Rocks
-" say, Cap'n," said lttle-eyed man,
"a he landed from the steamer at Natchez,
= ] say, Cap'n, this ere amt ALL"
"That's all the luggage you brought on
board sir replied the captain.
well, see now, it's according to list
four boxes, two chests, two ban'-boxes, Il
Dnrtmantu. two hams Zone part cut,) tire,
ropes inyons. and II tea kettle; but I'm
lubersnme. feel there's something short
hough I've counted 'em nine times, and
never took my eyes off 'em while on board;
there's something not right, somehow"
4" Wrll, stranger, the times up; there's |
I'll know of; so bring up your wife and
fiv" children out Of the cabin, and we'r,
off,"
"Them's UNI, darn it, them's UNI l
knowed forgot something"