The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-02-08
HOW NOT TO SETTLE IT.

UOW NOT TO SETTLE 1T.
Tread to the Harvard Class Of -, by Oliver
Wendell Holmes, Jan. 4, 1871
1 like at times to hear the steeple chimes,
With sober thoughts impressively that mingle,
But sometimes. too, rather like-dont you!
To hear the music of the sleiyh-bells jingle
like full well the deep rcsounding swell
or mighty symphonies wi chords inwoven:
But sometimes, too. a song Of Burns-dont you:
Aitr 4 stormy chorus Of Beethoven.
II could make you cry l wouldn't try;
If you have hidden smiles I'd like to find them,
And that, although. as WELT ought to know.
The lips of laughter have a skull behind them.
Yet when think We may be on the brink
OF having Freedoms banner to dispose or
All crimson hued. because The Nation would
Insist on cutting its own precious nose Oh,
feel. indeed as if we rather need
4 sermon such preachers tie . text ON.
If Freedom dies because ballot lies,
She earns her grave; tits time to call the sex-
But If fcht can make the matter right.
Here are we. Classmates, thirty men Of mettle;
We srons and tough, we've lived nigh long
VIVA, if the Nation gave it ne to settle:
The tale would read like that illustrious deed
When Curtius took the leap the gap that filled
IN.
Thus: "Fi,e-score years good friends, as It ap.
pears.
A, last this people split on Hayes and Tilden.
lone half cried See, the choice is $. J. TT
And Cne-half swore As stOutly it was t'Other;
Both drew the knife to save the Nations life
BY Wholesale vivisectiOn Of each other.
Then rose in mass that monumental Glass
Hold! hold" the. cried. give us, give us the
daggers.'
'Con,eut. con,ent!' exclaimed with one consent
The gaunt ex rebels and the carpet baggers.
Fifteen each side, the combatants divide,
So liceiy balanced are their predlections;
And first of all tear-drOp each lets fall,
y tribute to their obsolete affections.
Mar facing man, the sanguinc strife began.
Jack. Jim and Joe against Tom, Dick and
Each several pair its own account to square,
Till both were down or one stood solitary.
And the great fight ragged furious all the night
Til every inteyer was made fraCtion
Reader wondst know what history has to show
As net result of the above transaction!
Whole coat tails. four; stray Fragments several
\ heap of spectacles; deaf mans trumpet;
5 X lawyers b,ie $: seven pocket handkerchief
Twclycs canes wherewitn the owners used to
stump it;
''old rlbber shoes; old gloves of different hues;
1ax-biIs unpaid-and several empty purses;
And saved f'om harm by some prote, ting charm,
Tribes that claim no very special name
some useful. others chiefly ornamental;
Pins. buttons. rings and other trivial things,
With various wrecks, capillary and dental.
Also. one f,a.--twas nothing but rag
And what device it bore it little matters;
Red, white and blue. but rent all through and
through,
Union forever tor n to shreds aud tatters.
- Til fought so well not one was left to tell
VIII Oh got the largest share of cuts and slashes;
When heroes meet, both sides are bound to beat;
They telescOped like cars IN railroad emaehes.
:. So the great split that baflled human wit
And might have cost the lives Of twenty mill
As all may see that know the rule of three,
Was settled just as well by these civilians.
As well. just so. Not wor.e, not better. No,
Next morning found the Nation still divided;
Siuce all were slain that inference is plain
They eft the point they fought for undecided"
f not quite true. as have told it you
THIS tale OF mutual determination.
To minds peri lexcd with threats Of what comes
Perhaps may furnish food for contemplation.
To cut mems Threats to help them count their
Is asiniue-nay worse-ascidian folly;
Blindness like that would scare the mole and
bat.
And make the liveliest monkey melancholy
say once more. as have said before
Ii voting for our Tildens and our Hayes
Means only fight, then, Liberty good lIghti
Pack up your ballot box and 90 to blazes!
Cnfurl your bloodred flags, you murderous hags.
You pctroleuses of Par.s Q. fierce and foamy;
We II sell our stock in PlymOuth's blasted rock.
Pull up our stakes and migrate to Dahomey!
Atlantic Monthly for February.