Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1877-12-01
FACTS AND PANCIES.


LANDLADY Ito a boarder who has
passed his cup six times" You are yery
fond Of coffee, Mr. Smith" Mr.. Smith
=" Yes, ma'am ii looks as if am when
! am willing to swallow 40 much water
for the sake of getting little"
! How to tell a Lady, is described in 4
fashion exchange. But, pshaw they
can't tell people anything on that sub
ject. just take hold of her hand, slip
your arm around her waist, and tell her
in whisper That's the correct way.
DISTINCT sounds, produced at the rate
OF twenty'three per second, become a
continuous sound, and the Richmond
newspapers are looking forward to the
day when they can speak of the roar Of
the Mohett bell.punch.
WOMEN physicians of reputable stand.
ing do well in Philadelphia, two or three
of this character having an annual in.
come of from $4,000 to $4,000 from
their practice, which is chiefly confined
to ladies and children,
a YOUNG man in Msine writes to ssk
us if we want to engage a puzzle
editor" No. thank you. We have a
puzzled editor, and that is sufficient.
He is puzzled to find out why in thunder
people don't pay for their papers,
J Turner'S Falls Reporter.
THE way a mob acts in one city is no
criterion for mob action in another. It
is much like the Irishman who heard
that the ScOtchman's horse had run
away. " Thin, begorra, something must
be done, an I'll 60 home and lick the
old woman"
AFTER one Of the operations of cele.
brated surgeon, the resident student
stood looking at the two pieces of NOR
tality lying on the surgeons table.
What are you doing, sir ?" sharply
asked the surgeon. "I am waiting for
you to point out which piece is to be put
to bed and which is TO be buried"
The German daily newspapers are
much smarter than their American
cotemporaries. Nearly every German
paper prints two continued stories, every
day giving column to each Thus, the
reader, kept forever upon the ragged
edge of wild romance, goes on taking
the paper till he dies.--C6urier.Jomnal.
EVERYBODY has asked the question,
"Why are the Egyptian obelisks called
needles {? " 1t is stated in explanation
that meselleh is the Arabic word for
needle, as well as for obelisk, and that
the Arabs have from time immemoriaI
called the peculiar structures "Pha-
raoh's needles" meaning Pharaoh's ODE.
lisks.
POLITICAL economy gets the hat on the
right peg sometimes, but the scientific
specuator who follows it blindly with a
full wagon, sinks to the hub in the mire
occasionally. The cabbage crop this
season is larger than it has been made for
ten years, bat the price of cigars is no
lower than when the cut-worm walked
away with the entire patch.
A CORRESPONDENT writes: ado you
think it is wicked to smoke?" Oh,
dreadfully, awfully, sinfully, wicked.
Send your cigars to this Office and let us
burn them up for you, while you swear
of and reform before it is toe late. 1t
is already too late for us. We went to
swear of last week, but the Office was
closed, and the man had gone TO picnic.
--H1rkege.
A STORY is told of two New England
deacons between whom bitter ieud bad
long existed concerning some contested
point. Neither would yield, and the
matter threatened to be handed down to
the next generation, when one day
Deacon Smith appeared before his old
enemy aud soIemnly said, Brother
Jones, it is a shame that this quarrel of
ours should bring scandal upon the
church. have prayed earnestly for
guidance in the matter, and have come to
the conclusion that you must give in
for can not"
A THEOLOGICAL student, who ven-
turcd out from an Ohio college, recently,
to preach in little village near Ceve-
land, learned while there that country
men are appreciative OF literary art. He
preached sermon on the mystical i'm
portancc OF number thrce-three kinds
of life, mineral, vegetable and animal
Noah had three sons faith, repentance
and baptism, the three things necessary
to salvation, etc After the service an
aged deacon approached him and said
Really your discourse was one Ot the
most Ingenious ever listened to. was
sorry that YOU did not carry your illus.
trations in regard to that wonderful
number iusta little further Forinstance,
there are three aisles running through
this house there are three lamps in the
chandeli hanging youder; three books
lie upon the pulpit there are three ink
spots on this table; and, better than al,
| noticed tn, e, coUred men in the gal
lery."
0xr morning two or three davs ago,
s,vs tho dover Del ! Sentinel, a middle.