The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1877-03-15
Conditions Of Felicltoas Marriage.

One is, that the fancy be seized; that
you marry, not only because prudence as
sents, but because the heart likes; and, re-
member, fancy does not in the least insist
on what is called physical beauty. You
make your beauty for yourself by seeing
it, and admiring it with your own sense
of the beautiful; and if others don't agree
with you, so much the better for you;
there will be fewer rivals. Yet, it is al
most everything that you not only fancy,
but respect. In fact, true love, perhaps
without knowing 1t, begins with respect
Where there is no respect, it is not love at
all, but a brute's instinct. Nevertheless,
the respect must speedily warm into love,
for too much veneration treats you like
grandfather. Then there should be social
equality, intellectual sympathy and suf-
ficient means. Nobody is bettered, but
great many excellent people may be hope
lessly and helplessly husband. The man,
If 1t is he who has faced the risk, in
ninety nine cases out of hundred, will
presently find out that he has made
sacrifice, for which he had grievously
miscalculated his own staying power.
The wife, stung by the discovery that her
husband does not feel her an adequate
compensation for having lost most of the
things in life he cares for, hardly fsfdls sifd te
headstrong impulse of early youth, blindly
set on its own personal qualification, is
terribly punished by spoiled and
soured life. Intellectual sympathy is
another condition of fireside happiness.
By which is meant not at all an absolute
and entire agreement on all the great
questions of life Zone only excepted, or
a too facile, and perhaps insincere. yes on
the wife's part to all her husbands opin-
ions, whether ON politics, literature, or
art 1t would be terribly dali. TO begin
with; and then if Pascal is right in saying
that mans dignity consists in his being q
creature that thinks, it is notquite unrea-
sonable to claim for woman her share of
the dignity, though it simply increases the
respect due to her to add, on equal terms.
Of all stupid and helpless, and it
must be said common, varieties of moral
cowardice, about the worst is that of a
man who is frightened of a woman be-
cause she has got a mind, and tries to
make use of it. After goodness, quite the
next best thing in a wife is intelligence.
Not, indeed, that worst of all mental en-
dowments, vivid Imagination INSULT
GENTLY balanced by reason, and backed
by stubborn will. A mule is nothing to
such a woman, and the flaw shows in every
turning of life. But good sense-this is
the best of doweries. A love of reading,
and the power of talking about what you
IeA j. tafa afaH faasstsssa af VEe 16p i2Kaasslle
ment and change; and an absolutely
mindless wife is the life long and aggra-
vating retribution for the silly fear
of being beaten in argument, say
once month, across your own table, with
sent;aI ;s snf,ic;onn,, If n,a.ne which 10
some neonie nav nave 4 hard worldly
sounI abo,,t 81 tn t,thers is hut n reason.
sstv 1 If &c nn,dant onso Vie IL rom %nu % tne
I'D - tho ,,ridanna ~ ~ y so,aots har ,,ar,
Nc onroa;nod ~ ho fro,,, tho sa,,,a s,,,roo
Cors;dor;r,rr Nv tha ,,,arr;ora of no
hn,na, ha;ncS xio raa;atos With q, o,,,ss ~
;nfnanoes on the soo;ot,, rannd thor,
Soc;etv NOV, be ,ardonsd for III q ,v;sb tbot
N : arr;, aaS ny yere Y m,,,ra nrndant tham flew
ore Tbsro ;s ono ossont;si nnnra1tba
hest for Tho 1ast0noora1 and ral;n;o,,s sv,,
nathv Ru moral svmnathu ;s NOT meant
that the two characters must ho nreciseiv
similar n ;S ornat daal hetfar that +
shopld MT he 81 otherwise there il nnths
-. - ,...-T : y = s.~.,
fanIts are Intensified and hardened even
Goodness has less encouragement to grow.
Moreover the same sort of oual;tv in a
man Is Somewhat different in = Woman.
made different in the nurnose Of Col
Rather we mean that while sunniement.
ing each others deficiencies checkirp
each others infirm;ties and encouraginS
each others imnnlses for good. husband
and wife should he waikins side hv side
on the same clear path of moral p,irpose'
Cod ioint hone Of immortaIitv msundau