davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17
The WONDERFUL
EGYPTIAN BL00D-PURlFIER.
HEMAR.

IHis uncomfortable DEPURATTvE Il
a pOrerJaI ALTERITITE, TONIC, d.
UkETIC, DIIPHORETIC, and APERI-
ENT, combining virtues ,shich rtgder
IL iHr0iHa6ie and never- failing, an6 on
its continued use sciu thoroughly eradf-
cate all diseases Of the blood. Its tnOrez
dents are of "a purify harmless exfraes
fiOn, tie products gathered from reuoto
Egyptian Provinces, aud rhere there -
the slightest fdint or disease Ia the sys-
tenn, Il necer Fails Ia ejecting that disease
through TIE medium of The skin, or ear
1,rIIinO IL through tho many aud varieus
and, indeed, forcing all he organs tnfo
thei" proper normal and functional con-
dhioi. A very brief space or time scir
doubted reiia6Iity and wonderfi eura-
tive properties, 81 being, most unguestion~
ably, the ceTy acme of medical frtssmphs,,
age, In the treatment OF every disease
aohere The blood itself Is primarily the
s s%a Of RE lesion or disorder. sMeh as
causes that lead to this terrible a6fiefton,p
Of which az cisiiised communities are
risi, cren unto the third and fourth gsm-
erdtions,o aud to BROKEN-DOWNA IND
ENFEEBLED CONSTITUTIONS &c e. q
7'orerJu regeneration, causing the srreekr
OF man once more to assume the God-tikS
form Of manhood.
AIRY DISORDERS, CONSTTP1TiON OR
COSTIgBNESS, LIYER IND KIDNEY
C0MPLA LNTs, GENERAL AND NERV-
OUs DEHILITF, RHEUM A TISM,
THELTOM4TOU CANCER, SCURVY.
A EFECIIONS OF THE BONES. INDO.
ENT ULCERS, FEMALE COM
PLANTS (and TO the gentter sea- 70 IL .
boon long sought for bD sensitive, swseep-
tiote, and delicate females, as % takes
direct action Upon their aifmenfs) AND
IN WHICH THE BLOOD rs THE SEA1
OF THE TROUBLE. 1t Is tnvalwabte. A
perseverance, trifh this remedy sciu provo
positive and permanent cUrs for
CHILLS and FEY-ERS and all MALA-
RIAL POISONS.
thousands of Testimonials attest the
truth Of these ciatns.
Price, Que Dollar, In large bottle, o.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17
cheap Suppers.

Two conntrymcn, just in by the
Boston d. Maine Railway, strolled
up New Washington street until
they arrived at an eating house sit
uated next door to a carpet ware
house. In the window of the latter
was large sign, reading:
extra sup'ers 50 cents q yard,
The first rustic halted, and hail
ing his companion, said:
"Jim, here's the place we want;
extra suppers."
His more cautious companion,
after reading the sign, and also at
tributing it to the eating-house, re-
piled:
"Horon, Bill look at the price
--ninety-five cents a yard | That's
some new-fangled way of cheatin' a
Teller 10 vittles. / han't goin' to
pay ninety-five cents for an extra
supper measured out by the yard"
and they pursued their course up
town, keeping a sharp look out for
sDares and pitfalls.-Boston Com
mercial Bulletin.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17
PSIA.
GASTRON

GASTRON IL a safe, speedy, and post-
ffre care for that most depressing Of all
nients, aud a brtef course Of treat ent srtIs
sestore the digestive organs to ttst~ pris-
tine strength, and promote the healthy
action of the stomach aud tntesfines. The
nervous irrito6HitD Of literary aud slt
persons pursuing a sedeatary HJs, 10
speedily removed bU fhh agent. Tho
Is restored TO health aud the keu-
note Of the system sciU once more respoad
sn The performance of labor.
Price, One Dollar, la large bottle, Or
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17
BRONCHITIS And LUNG
AFFECTIONS.
TRACGNEON
TRACEEEON.

A slight so-caiied cold wiH Outlines
lead to "a SERIOUS cough, trL ich. uroored
for Or badly treated, must hare bar ono
TesuH-u must crenf"ate Ia n settled cas-
Of BRONCHIIIS. or sphat IL srors., fLs
de"dty CONSUNPTION. To all SUFFERING
from hnrosslng cough aud representation.
1RACHEON offers a. sound, reliable. and
permanent relief. 1t angnlenfs ezpecso-
ration. and enables the patient to esprS
WifhOm judici0Hs treatment, ,r,sf eo,,,
mUhtcdte as poison 10 the resicular s~b-
stance Of the lang, deOenerafin0 aud de-
and uitiD,dtCs onIy In an eoriv and vr
timely death. TRACHEON has no equal.
mach less superior, and its use uiH nor
ohU rcniore the deposit, thereby oBordiu0
great retieT, Dat LeaIs the ,neuIb rgnr a"I
,ences ne patient ia possession of healthy
Price, E(fy Cents per bottle, or sts
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

Effectively observes Punch and
Judy, of London, "There is a good
time coming, boys, but it is good
time coming. boys"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

"Avoid that for which you blame
Others" says one of our wise men.
Well, things have come to a pretty
pass if man cant kiss his own
wife.-EX.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

Careful wife in the rain-Are
you very wet, dear! Ardent aug-
Ter Cunning up HE flask)-No; dry
as limekiln; haven't had a drop
these two hours Punch.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

Napkin rings made of Russian
leather are the latest novelty on
dining tables. Beefsteaks of Amer
lean leather are not new.-Lowell
Courier.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17
4 4 "A LECTURE
TO YOUNG MEN.

AoA TO YOUNG MEN.
Just published, in Sealed Envelope Price six
cents.
A Lecture on the Nature, Treatment, and radi-
cal cure OF Seminal Weakness. or SpermatorrhCpa
induced by Sef-Abuse, Involuntary Emissions
lmpotency, Nervous Debility and impediments
to Marriage generally; Consumption. Epilepsy,
and Fits, Mental and Physical lncapacity, etc.
by ROBERT j. CULvERwELL. NJ. d., author OF the
"Green Book" etc.
The word-renowned author, in this admirable
Lecture, clca ly proves from his own experience
that the awful consequences of self buse may
be etectuHlly removed without medicine, aud
without dangerous surgical operations bougles
instruments, rings, or cordiHls; pointing out n
mole ut cure at once certain and eifcctual, by
which every sufferer, no matter what his coudi-
tiou may be, may cure himself cheapy, privately
and radically.
30 This Lecture will prove boon to thous-
ands
Sent under seal, IN plain envelope, 20 any adj
dress, postpaid, receipt of six cents or two
postage stamps. Address the Publishers THE
CULVERWELL MEDICAL CO., Al Ann ST.
New York; Post Office Box, 1888. 297
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

Fond Mother latter a sudden
howl from young hopeful)--What
ails my darling! Darling-Ahoo!
ahoo! | didn't get my unch yes
terday.-London Fun.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

A Berks county shoemaker man
ufactures "medicated boots" Their
peculiar virtue is in the heal
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

A book publishers advertisement
reads: "In Press-Against Her
Will" Some women do object to
being squeezed-sometimes.-Nor-
ristown Heard.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

Chesnuts are almost ready for
the Diet Of Worms.-Cincinnati
Times.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17
Select and Original.

A sailor is not necessarily an an
chorite.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

N. >>>is not easily earned IN these times,
u 4 4 but II tan be nude in three months
A by any one OF either sex. in any
ab part of the country, who is W ling
y TO work steadily nj the Employment
We furnish eos per week in your
own town. You need not be away from home
over night. You can give your whole time TO the
work. Or only your spare moments. We have
agents who are making over s2l per dry All
who engage az once can make money fast. At
the present time money cannot be made so easily
and rapidly at any 9th business 1t costs moth
ing 20 try the business Terms aud IS outfit free.
Address at once, Ii. HALLETr x Co.. Portland,
Me. Sllyl.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

The Russians should cheer up,
Our thirty-eight Governors are
getting ready to issue proclama-
tions against Turkey.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

Visitor-"Isn't it terrible 10 think
that the vessel yonder may dash
on the rocks, and every soul on
board perish I" Old Salt-"Yes;
but isn't 1t more terrible to think
that maybe the crews a work.
ing themselves to death, and per-
haps there's not a bit o'backer
aboard the entire craft."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

The Boston Transcript says
silver dollar is a MORE antique
lining for a portemonaie than a
greenback.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

When you detect Glove in the
breath look out for the cloven foot.
Boston Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

Chicago bank presidents are
knights of the golden heece.-New
York Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

This appears to be an "otf" year
with presidents of savings banks.
They are "of" to Europe with
most of the cash.-Norristown Her.
aid.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

The railroad bridge over Wat
kins Glen is announced as COM
pleted. It's a gorgeous affair."
Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

Says the Rochester Democrat {:
"The ambitious gas bill is trying to
make demnition OK of ITSELF
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

An avaricious man is like a san
dy desert that sucks in all the rain,
but yields no fruitful herbs to the
inhabitants.-EX.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

We overheard a gentleman say
this morning, that he hoped that
model husband" about which his
wife talks so much, had been burn
ed up with the other models in the
Patent Office.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

1.-THE point is just this" says the
Sublime Porte, 81 am Turkey, and
Russia wants to do the gobling.'-
Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

The Providence fire lighted up
the whole State of Rhode Island
Eek.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

A dangerous game-Playing the
deuce.-London Judy.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

nUn Great chsnce 20 make money
III IL you can't get gold you can
AHI lin get greenbacks. We need "A
HHIlUu person in every town 20 take
u " IA ~ subscriptions for the largest,
cheapest and best illustrated
family publication in the world. Any one can
become a successful agent. The most elegant
works OF nrt given free 10 subscribers. One agent
reports making over $3.50 in week. A lady
agent reports taking over 400 subscribers in ten
days. AL who engage make money fast You
can devote all your time 10 the business or only
your spare time You need not be away from
home over night. You can do il rs well as 9TH
ers Full particulars directions and terms free
Elegant and expensive outfit free. IL you want
profitable work send us your address Mt once. IL
costs nothing TO try the business. No one who
engages fails TO make great pay Address 80 he
Peoples Journal" Portland, Maine. Sl4yl
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17
Il K Il e. IA l. Il =.

HEnMIrs WASH. the infallible ive-day freckle,
tan and pimple euie renders the skin as clear and
fresh as babes
Mailed securely sealed for so cents, by j. r.
HEISLEY Il co, Salem, ~ j.. 34
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17
III Il AD A q e.

DR. HEIsLFY's HEADACHE PowDERs will ae-
tually cure any kind OF Headache m twenty min
utes let the cause be what IL may, or the accnm-
panying symptoms what they will
Mailed postpaid for 50 cents, by j. r. HE'S
LEY & CO., salem, y. j., and sold by druggists
generally 3i4
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17
Such q Stupid Woman.

her husband one evening last week
"Ive been reading the paper"
THAT nothin'," erunted John
IL have seen people before who rea'
newspapers"
"Yes; but there is several thing
in the papers can't understand"
"Then don't read en-"
"What does it mean about tn,
strike, John What is q strike
anyhow 7"
"A strike is where they have
struck and Sanscript knocked the
ashes from his cigar.
~ don't grasp your meaning, ex-
actly," said Mrs. Sanscript with a
puzzled looked. "Now, these
strikers have stopped all the rail
road trains in the country. Why
do they do it p
ITO prevent 'em from running"
ayes but why didn't they want
trains to run 7"
Because they wanted more
money for running them"
"Do they pay more for stopping
trains than for RAINING them
mo, you stupid woman"
"Then why in the world did they
stop 'em-why didn't they run more
of 'em or run 'em fasterl Seems
to me it would pay better"
"Mary Ann, you will never sur
round the problem"
"Maybe not, John. Some things
are gotten mp purposely to bother
women. Now, here's column
headed, Base Ball What is base
ball, John 2"
don't you know what base ball
is9 Happy woman! you have not
lived in vain.
Here it says that The Hart
fords could not collar Cummings
curves What under the sun are
Cummings curves ?"
ats the way he delivers the
ball"
as the ball chained Z"
"No, you BOBBY"
"Then how does he deliver it 2"
81 mean pitch it."
"Oh! now here it says, Jones
muffed a ball after a hard rum
What was the ball doing after a
hard run ?"
Hadn't you better confine your
research to the obituary and mar
rage columns Mary, with an occa-
sional advertisement thrown in to
vary the monotony ?"
"Yes, but, John, l want to know.
There's Mrs. Racket, over the way,
Who goes to all the baseball games
md comes home to talk me blind
about fly FOULS brace hits sky
and all those things.
Cor heavens sake, John, what is
Ky scraper!"
Compose Yourself old woman.
'ou are treddiug on dangerous
ground your feet are on slippery
ocks, while raging pillows roll
mercy on me. What do you
mean Z"
81 mean, my dear madam, that
whenever a woman begins to pry
bout among these strikes, fair
'alls, base hits, daisy cutters, home
un, and kindred subjects, she's in
LANCER of being lost"
swell, | confess I'm completely .
ost to know what the newspaper /
means when it says that Addy stole
base, while the spectators APP
'lauded. Have we come to such a
BASS that society will applaud a .
hiefF Why wasn't Addy arrested (! {
Now here's Manning put out by :
Start assisted by Cary, and l can;
zee that he did anything wrong, :
ither. Jemima Christoper! Here
t says that Pike few out; | don't
relieve a word of it. / never saw
man fly yet, and won't believe it
AN be done till l see it with my
'wn eyes. John, what makes the
newspaper men lie so horribly p
John was asleep, and Mrs. San
cript turned gloomily, not to say
keptically to the letter list for in
ormation. Newspapers were not
or women.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17
Flint q Pere Marquette R. R.

The shortest, quickest, and most reliable route
10 ana IRON Detroit, Toledo, Cleveland, Cin,in.
natl, Saginaw and Bay City.
GOING EAST, SOUTH AND WEST.
Leave Alpena daily, except sunday, BY Athena
ana bay city line OF steamers ut ZOO a. IN.
BAY CIT.
Detroit Express, llS5am 6mnm
Detroit & Toledo mall 63Oam 90 m
Night express, lOl5pm 5Ssm
Express, u00a,, sasnn
Night ex press, s3Opm ass ~
DETROIT.
Leave. Arrive.
say City Ludington mail, s2Oam lllOam
Express, l2O0m 4S5pm
wight express, 10 l0pm 500 IN
LUDINo1oN.
Leave. Arrive.
Detroit Bay City mail. 590am IL OOpm
Sleeping coaches on mig ht srains
For further particulars see sm-ll bills.
All trains run by Detroit time.
SANFORD KELLER, Assistant Sup't
j. Z. NouRsE, General Ticket Agent.
A. 4. FLETCHER,
General Ticket Agent, Alpena Mich
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17
CTTT THIS nTT
~ Il 1t il Worth 80 W 1

CUT 1t is wdrt 4 80 OUT
To every reader of this paper who sends US this
certificate and 81 40 we will forward for one wear.
THE TREASURE" magnihcen; Illustrated
Monthly Journal and House-keepers Magazine
and one copy of our new and elegant premium
Chrome, entitled
"Asl<inG a Islcssing.''
masterpiece OF the Dusseldorf School of genre
painting, by Prof Jordan size 20 l-axl5 10 exc
cuted in the highest style of Art Retail price of
which is $500, and II copy OF the following beauti-
full poem descriptive of the Chrome, in elegant
illustrated colors for framing:
Ay; but wait good wife, minute;
/ have first word to say;
Do you know what day to-day isl
Mother tits our Wedding day
just rs now, we sat NJ supper
When the guests had gone away;
You sat that side, sat this side,
Forty years ago to-day!
Then what plans We laid together;
What brave things meant to do!
Could we dream to-day would find us
At this table-me and you.
Better so, no doubt-and yet I
Sometimes Think cannot tell
Had our boy-ah, yes | know, dear
Yes, lie doeth all things well.
Well we've had our Joys and sorrows.
Shared our smiles As we'll rs tears;
And-the best of ALIVE had your
Faithful love for forty years
Poor we've been. but not forsaken;
Grief we've known, but never shame
Father far M eHdiesS mcrcics
StH lce bless Thy holy Name
Az IN | - YOU 70 nuke money %i'' We Ne
will pay large cash commissions and give YOU ex-
elusive territory, send us one dollar avoid un-
necessary correspondence receive your territory
and 90 to work At once. Upon receipt of which
we will forward Agents outfit, Certificate of
Agency, etc Specimen copies 10 cents, none free
Address,
THE TREASURE PUBLISHING co.
290ylq No 40 Cedar street New York
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

A colored postmaster is now
called q blackmailcr.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

MuAEF Publications. We can fur.
kEaWA. nsh all Of DR. FooTE's popular
DGavtL Dime Publications ON health aud
kindred topics. "Ol.D EYES MADE NEW :"
tells how 10 restore the sight and give up glasses,
without the aid Of Doctor or Medicine Half A
million have been issued alYcndy "CoMFonr
AND ttlRE ron the RUITuRED" IL n valuable
monograph for those who are afflicted with Rnp-
turc or Hernia. "PHYsIoIuGicAL lMIKOyEMENT
or HUMANITY, relates To The subject of having
people born right. "PHYsI0LoGICAI MAERIAsHH
gives the lntest researches regarding The laws
governing tempcremcnia adaptation, &c, &c.
A STRIP DACKwABD. TGyNwfDg inconsidtrate
legislation concerning the Prevention OF
Conception. "SPEEMAToHRn,EA," or SEM
ina Weakness with evidence OF its durability
"CHoUP, its causes, prevention aud cure" inyal-
uable TO every mother having the care of small
children. "CoLp FEET" causes, prevention
and cure. Any one Of the foregoing Dime
Publications will he sent by mail, postage pre-.
paid, OH receipt OF ten cents.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

There's snow chance for the Rus
slams now.-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17
HOMESTEAD $50
SEWING
SEQ MACHINE.

'Nu '""iV "h" ih'"Vo NVmP'O'', Vnil V-V'
A perfect and uncqualed, large, strong and dura-
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docs, or make a good living ioI any man woin-
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60 faithful and easy the servants or children cal
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light table, FULLY equipped for family work, 800
HALF CASE, OVER, nIpE DRAWERS AND 'ABINET
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pianatory pamphlets iius,rater with CnllaNiLg>
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terms with liberal inducements TO enterprising
Cleryymcn. Teachers, business Men, Travelling
or Local Agents, etc, who desire exclusive Agcu-
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Kendall 4 Co., i2l Broadway, New York
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17
A valuable reference book for everybody.
ZELL'S Encyclopedia,
DICTIONARY AND
GAZETTEER.

IA 4A3A II - II IL xNs
z. Els dictionary OF language. II con.
aims every word in the English Ian.
guage with its derivation aud defini
ton.
z. Els Biographical Dictionary. II has
sketch OF every noted person OF all
ages, many Of them with portraits.
u. Els complete Gazetteer. II has de.
scription OF every country, sea, river,
mountain, town, etc, in the world.
2. Els Medical Dictionary II contains
description OF diseases, remedies, in.
struments, surgical operations, etc.
z. Els History of the world II contains
description OF the migration of races,
the progress OF the nations, their Gus.
toms, laws, religions, etc.
2. Els a complete Natural History. II de.
scribes n the animals, birds, insects,
fishes and reptiles,
2. Els n complete work on Botany. II de.
scribes every plant and flower, vege.
table and tree; with their properties,
uses, etc.
z Els complete work on Mechanics. II
describes all new inventions, engines,
machinery, tools, etc.
z. Els n complete Church History. II
gives, impaitially. the various divi.
sions OF the church of all ages.
z. Els equal TO n whole library OF works.
IL describes every material or non.mn.
terial thing that is capable of descrip.
tion in the language.
z. Els well illustrated. II contains nearly
three thousand engravings Of persons,
chimes, buildings, etc, and eighteen
splendid maps, accurately engraved
from the latest surveys and discov.
cries, and beautifully colored
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-10-17

We have a magnificent answer
here to a first-class conundrum,
and we would like one of our read
ers to build a question for it. The
answer is: "Stock over-issue,"
and the other is Stocking over
his shoe" -Philadelphia Bulletin.