The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1877-12-20


mothers pies were better than his wife's.
Do LEWIS has turned up again. This
time he wants straw pillows for babies.
MILK river is in Massachusetts. They
named it Milk because milk is about the
same thing as water.
THE pope eldest brother died at ninety,
his mother at ninety.eight, and his grand
father at ninety.three.
HABBERToN accounts for the foolish
ness of the small boy. The small boy
had father, and this father was once a
small boy himself"
THE Chicago Journal says: When a
man imsgnes that he is prophet and
philosopher he takes to long hair and
dirty Overceat."
Two million years ago, bird twelve
feet high was prOmenading along the bank
of the Connecticut river, and Prof. Hitch
cock has just discovered its tracks.
CANNIBAIs prefer to eat women of
about sixteen to twenty.four years OF
age, and invariably roast that delicacy,
but people over fifty are generally boiled.
--Du Cha,liu.
FAITH is sometimes personifed as
drenched female clinging to q sea-washed
rock; but better personiticatiOn would
be a bald-headed man buying bottle of
patent hair restorer.
GIVE the man who wasn't elected half
an hour to sit down and reflect and he
will present twenty.four logical reasons
why he was left out in the cold. He will
also assure you that this earth won't
stand much longer.
Mr.. WATTERsON tells in his lecture OF
Mississippian who was asked whether 1t
was worth while tn carry pistol " Well,
stranger" he answered, "y0u mOut move
about for year and not want it, and
then again you mout, and, if you do need
it, you will need it powerful"
IT is said the eucalyptus tree is ex-
tremely useful In checking the ravages OF
fire and that shingles made Of this wood
are fire-proof. A tree of this species Is
still Hourishing after being exposed to the
great FIRE in San Francisco in 1876. 1t is
claimed that such trees would be valuable
in resisting the spread of fire in cities.
RED.NosED reprobate, whose wardrobe
could only have been merchantable by
the pound, entered the corner-grocery,
and planting an empty soda-water bottle
on the counter, said "Gimme some al
cohol to clean silver with" "All right"
responded the dealer in wet goods, let's
see your silver. ."-Boston Bulletin.
DENTON. Texas, has desperate OF
African descent named Faust, whose
ideas of fun are rather peculiar. Cock
ing pistol on divine, he made him get
down on his hands and feet, bleat like
sheen. and compelled him to butt an oak
tree until he made the acorns iall.
Mephistopheles will run of with that
fellow some day,
An old colored lady Of one Of the back
counties sings all the good cid Methodist
hymns, but she gets them mixed some
times. She sings: a.
"sweet prospects. sweet birds and swest flowers
Bave all lost their sweetness bss me-"
An another: . t.
"Am o shoulder Of the hoss,
l. quarter OF lamb"
She means all right, though, bless her
good heart. .r. .r
RrIzoNI. manv wears ago, told this
old story Of the carnival at Lisbon. A
mask in the merry crowd threw an orange
at the carriage Of the Turkish embasea,
der. which struck him in the face; and
that dipnitary, after short delay, ap-
I peared before the Portuguese minister OF
foreign affair: 70 complain o. the mag, %n :,
} nifty thus publicly eneIed nim' On'
, asid the minister, such Ii the custom OF