Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1877-10-31
SGcsoHIEY's MULE.
An Ailssory.

Mc80A4GYS MULE.
aat An Allegory.
From the Kew York Times.
Much has been written of the mule
and his intractable nature, but all
writer's are unanimous in asserting
that he Is insensible to kindness.
Mr.. McSorlcy's mule is no exception
to this rule. As may not be gener-
ally known Mr.. McSorley resides in
the northern part of Kentucky, and
possesses mule that is tho terror Of
the entire county. 1t was this idcn-
teal mule that in April 1860, kicked
q colored man entirely across the
Ohio river, and was thereupon de-
nounced by the local kentucky press
a. q hypocritical abolitionist and
hircling of q federal tyrant. During
the last sixteen years McSorley's mule
has kicked more than three gross of
assorted citizens, of all ages and of
every kind of sex, including three
advocates of women's rights and an
old line whig. He has killed thirty
two victims outright by kicking
them in the head, besides inflicting
scalp wounds upon eighteen colored
men. If we classify the legs that he
has broken according to their reli-
gious belief, we find that he has bro
ken seventy Methodist, sixty.three
Baptist, fourteen Episc0palian and
three Presbyterian legs, and has,
moreover, splintered one free-think-
ing leg that was made of the best
hickory wood. So vicious was this
eminent animal that Mr.. McSorley
rarely ventured to take him from the
stable. He was kept securely fasten-
ed with chain-halter, and his legs
were tied together with short pieces
OF rope. Even when thus restrained
he succeeded in kicking every person
who came within short range Of his
heels, and scarcely a day passed
without the manning of at least one
of McSorleys numerous and faithful
dogs. The groom was tho only man
who could keep the mule decently
quiet. This groom was man Of few
words, and placed little dependence
upon the efficacy Of blasphemy; but
when the mule managed to lure .
dog within reach of his heels and be-
gan 10 bang the poor animal against
the side of the stable, hitting him
again and again as he rebounded
from the boards, the groom would
take ten-foot ash pole and lay it
over the. mule until the latter became
temporarily too discouraged to kick
ut the most eligible fat man.
Not very long ago Mr.. McSorley
discharged his groom for reasons not
pertinent to this narrative. There
were a number Of applicants for the
vacant situation. Among them was
one fellowwho made himself con-
spicuous by asserting that all the
mule needed was kind treatment, and
that il he were placed in charge of
the animal he would speedily render
him tractable and trustworthy. IT
need hardly be said that Mr.. McSor-
ley did not receive this mans appli-
cation with any favor, for he had not
kept mule for sixteen years without
learning something of the character
Of the animal. Like wise man, he
selected a modest but athletic appli-
cant, who undertook to keep the mule
in order, and who had won Mr.. Nc
Sorley's respect by remarking, when
it was falsely rumored that the advo-
cate of kindness to mules had been
engaged, that "his heart bled for the
poor dogs"
The new groom entered upon his
duties on Monday morning-the mule
having killed a favorite NewfOund-
land dog, and broken a colored clergy
mans whitewash pail all to pieces, on
the previous afternoon. His first act
was to feed the animal q double al
lowance of oats, and then taking ad-
vantage Of the temporary quiet due
to repletion, he united the mules fas-
Jennings and opened the stable door.
The mule promptly improved the OPP
portunity to rush at McSorley's en-
tire collection of dogs, which hap
pened to be assembled in the stable
yard, and with a few wcll-directed
kicks hurled them into a disused well,
whore they, doubtless, persisted mis-
erably, since not one of them has yet
reappeared. He then brayed tri-
nmphantly and fled to the best of the
neighboring pastures, where he has
since roamed at large in n most con-
tented frame of mind.
This conduct on the part of the
groom was so totally unexpected that
Mr.. McSorley was greatly astonished,
and asked for an explanation. The
new groom listened calmly to his en-
ployer's excited remarks, and then
quietly asked if the mule had hurt
any man or dog since his release i
As Mr.. McSorley was forced to adj
init that no mule casualties had oc-
Cured since Monday noon, the groom
remarked that this was due to his
new System Of management. $50
long," said he, ''as the mule has the
freedom Of the pasture, and so long
as no one attempts to make him do
anything that does not meet with his
views, he will give no trouble. For
sixteen years that mule has been sub
ject to the restraints of the harness
and the stable, and he has naturally
expressed his indignation by kicks.
He is now freed from all restraints,
and unless somebody ventures to en-
ter his particular pastures he will re-
main quiet. Moreover, whether that
mule is or is not conciliated, it is very
certain he will stay in the pasture,
since neither you nor / can coax him
to enter the stable again." This
speech was SO convincing and unan-
swerable that Mr.. McSorley simply
referred in general terms to the CAL
whistle doctrine of future punish
ment, and ended the conversation.
The once dreaded mule is now turn
ing joyful somersaults in the pasture,
ana the new groom intends to travel
through Kentucky delivering public
lectures upon the duty of conciliating
mules.
This story is not true, and it has no
moral whatever.