Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1877-05-02
Table.Wit of Douglas Jerrold.

in repartee, Jerrold excelled most Of
his contemporaries; he was man Of
cheerful nature, who loved to raise a
hearty laugh, though the means were
sometimes misunderstood and misrep.
resented. A jest's prosperity often
reaches sore places, and causes the
hearers to vince; although the jester
has not i'm his minds eye the persons
who take to themselves the fitting cap.
Mr.. Blanchard Jerrold, in his grace
fully-written life of his father, has re-
corded the following instances of his
ready wit; they are full of point and
finish; still, in reading, they have not
the instantaneous effect-the flash and
fire-which none but those who heard
them could fully enjoy. The utter abb
sence of effort in their utteranee, or
conceit as to their worth, was their
great recommendation. Mr.. Blanchard
Jerrold, lo2mitur:
GA dinner is discussed. Douglas Jer-
rold listens quietly, possibly tired OF
dinners, and declining pressing invita-
tation to be present. In few minutes
he will chime in, Tf an earthquake
were to engulf England tomorrow, the
English would manage to meet and dine
somewhere among the rubbish, just to
celebrate the event."
"a friend drops In, and walks across
the smoking-room to Douglas Jerrold's
chair. The friend wants to enlist Mr..
Jerrold's sympathies in behalf of a
mutual acquaintance who is in want o;
round sum of money. But this
mutual friend has already sent his hal
about among his literary brethren or
more than one occasion. Mr.. IS hat
is becoming an institution, and friends
were grieved at the indelicacy of the
proceeding. On the occasion to which
| now refer, the bearer of the hat was
received by my father with evident dis
satisfaction. 'well,' said Douglas Jer-
rold, how much does want this
timer 'Wby, just four and two
noughts will, L think, put him straight,
the bearer of the hat replied. JerrOld
We'll, put me down for one of the
norghts.'
Gas an old gentleman, whom l will
call Prosy Very, was in the habit of
meeting my father, and pouring long
pointlcss stories into his impatient ears.
On one occasion Prosy related long
limp account of stupid practical joke,
concluding with the information that
the effect of the joke was so potent, she
really thought be should have died
with laughter Jerrold-I wish to
heaven you had"
"The Chain of Events, playing at
the Lyceum Theatre, is mentioned /:
'Humph" says Douglas Jerrold, 'Tm
afraid the manager will find it a door
chain strong enough to keep everybody
out of his house,"
"Then some somewhat lack-a-daisical
young members drop in. They opine
that the club is not sufficiently West !.
they hint at something near Pail Mall,
and little more style. Douglas Jer-
rold rebukes them. NO, no, gentle
men; not near Pail Mall! we might
catch cornets.'"
Another of these young gentlemen,
who has recently emerged from the
humblest fortune and position, and ex-
ulting in the social consideration of his
new elevation, puts aside his anteced-
ents, having met Douglas Jerrold in
the morning, while on horseback, he
ostentatiously says to him, We'll, you
see Pm all right at lastr. Yes is the
reply, q see yon now ride upon your
cat t's-meat.'
"a stormy discussion ensues, during
which gentleman rises to settle the
matter in dispute. Waving his hand
majestically over the excited disput-
ants, he begins; Gentlemen, all I want
is common sense Exactly, Doug
las Jerrold interrupts; that is pre-
cisely what you do want The discus
sion is lost in a burst of laughter"
Brown drops i'm. Brown is said, by
all his friends, to be the toady of Jones,
The appearance of Jones in a room is
the proof that Brown is in the passage.
When Jones has the influenza, Brown
dutifully catches cold in the head. D.
J. to Brown-'Have you heard the
rumor that's flying about town. No.
We'll, they say Jones pays the dog-tax
for you.'"
"Douglas Jerrold is seriously disap-
pointed with certain book written by
one of his friends, and has expressed
his disappointment. Friend-'I hear
you said - was the worst book j
ever wrote Jerrold-'No, didn't. ]
said it was the worst book anybody ever
wrote.'"
"Of Nelson he would talk by the
hour, and some of his more passionate
articles were written to seattle the gov
ernment that left Horatio-Nelson'
legacy TO his country-in want. 1t was
difficult to persuade him, nevertheless,
that a man did wisely in sending his
son TO sea. A friend called on him one
day to introduce youth, who, smit-
ten with love for the salt, was about To
abandon position he held in silk
manufacturers establishment, for the
cockpit. "'Hump!' said the ex-mid-
shipman of the Ernest, $50 you're going
to sea. 10 what department of in
dustry, may inquire, do you now give
your exertions?' 'Silk,' briefly re-
sponded the youth. We'll, go to sea,
and it will be worsted.'"
The spider is wiser than the bee. The
former sucks poison from everything,
and the latter honey. The former isn't
robbed and the latter Is.
Mrs. Stowe says we never know how
much we love until we try to unlove.