The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-12-22
NOW OR THEN!

A dlgnitled and delightful old gentle
man once told me he thought the young
people of to-day were less mannerlI
than in the olden time, less deferential,
less decorous. This may be true, and
| tried to be sufficiently deferential tC
my courtly host not to disagree with
him. But when look upon the young
people of my acquaintance, | recall that
William went, as a matter of course, to
put the ladies in their carriage; Jamie
took the hand luggage as naturally as
if he were born for nothing else; Frank
never failed to open door for them:
Arthur placed Maggie in her chair at
the table before he took his own;
Nelly and Ruth came to my party Just
as sweet and bright as if they did not
know that the young gentlemen whom
they had expected to meet were pre-
vented from attending; while Lucy will
run herself out of breath for you, and
Mary sits and listens with tlattering in
tentness, and Anne and Alice and
well, looking over nly constituency,
find the young people charming
1t is true that all manners are less
formal, that etiquette is less elaborate,
now than hundred years ago. Our
grandfathers and grandmothers did
not sit at breakfast with their fathers
and mothers, but stood through the
meal, and never spoke except when
spoken to. l cannot say l think we
have deteriorated in changing this.
The pleasant, familiar, aflectionate in
tercourse between parent and child
seems to me one of the most delightful
features of domestic life. The real,
fond intimacy which exists between
parents and children seems far better
and safer thing than the old fashion of
keeping children at arms length.
But in casting aside forms we are, per-
haps, somewhat in danger of losing with
them some of that inner kindness of
which form is only the outward express
sion. Without admitting that we are
an uncivil people, insisting even that
we compare favorably with other ma
lions, l wish our boys and girls would
resolve that the courtesy of the Republic
shall never suffer in their hands!
Does this seem a trivial aim for those
who are bending their energies to attain
high standing in classics and mathe-
MATES? There is perhaps no single
quality that does as much to make life
smooth ant, comfortable-yes, and sue
cessfully-as courtesy. No man can be
agreeable without courtesy, and every
separate act of incivility creates its lit
tie, or large, and ever enlarging, circle
of displeasure and unhappiness.
One does not wish to 90 through life
trying to be agreeable: but life is great
failure if one goes through it Disagree
able.
Yes, little friends, believe me, you
may be very learned, very skillful, very
accomplished. l trust you are; hope
you will become more so. You may
even have sound principles and good
habits; but if people generally do not
like you, it is because there is some
thing wrong in yourself, and the best
thing you can do is to study out what
it is and correct it as fast as possible.
Do not for moment fancy it is because
you are superior to other people that
they dislike you, for superiority never,
of itself, made person unlovely. 1t is
invariably defect of some sort. Gen
orally it is defect arising from train
ing, and therefore possible to overcome.
For instance: Two girls in the coun-
try have each pony phaeton. One
drives her sisters, her family, her guests,
her equals, and never thinks of going
outside that circle. Another does the
same; but, more than this, she often
takes the cook, the laundress, or the
one woman who often is cook, laundress,
house-maid, all in one. And to them
the drive is far greater luxury than
to her own comrades, who would be
playing croquet or riding if they were
not with her. Now and then She in
vites some poor neighbor, she takes
some young seamtress or worsted-work.
er to town to do her shopping; she car.
ries the tired housewife to see her moth
er; she asks three little girls-some
what crowded but rapturously happy
three miles to see the balloon that has
alighted on the hill; she drives Il wild
owed old mother-in-Israel to tea
drinking of which she would otherwise
be deprived. These are not charities
| They are cOurtesies, and this bright
faced girl is sunshine in her villag,
home, and, by and by, when her box o
linery is by some mistake left at thu
station, a stalwart youngster, unbidden
shoulders it and bears it, painting an,
perspiring, to her doorstep, declarin!
that he would not do it for anothe
person in town but Miss Fanny! Ant
perhaps he does not even say Miss Fan
ny-only Fanny. Now she could ge
on very well without the villagers ad
miring affection, and even without he
box of linery; yet the goodwill of you
neighbors is exceeding pleasant.
Another thing Fanny excels in is tn
acknowledgment of courtesy, which
itself as great courtesy as the pei
Torrance of kindness. If she is in
vited to lawn party or a boating pic
mic, whether she accept or not, she pay
a visit to her hostess afterward and en-
presses her pleasure or her regrets; an
she pays it with promptness, and nc
with tardy reluctance, Us if it were