The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1877-08-02
WHOLE NO. 1872.
Miscellaneous.

as men ever get In this world.
The King Of Siam signs himself "chu
Long Korn" ID 10 better. however. In
the shape Of suecotash.
A man never knows how many friends
be has until be embHrks In the saloon
business and sets a free lunch.
Any man who oanpronounce the name
ol General P-rokoitschitxsky is not only
-ober and industrious. but an ornament
TO society.
Lady Garrett" u the name Of q trot-
ting msfe Her own.r .hould change u
TO Lady Bas-m~nt' " be want. tOc.llAr.
Damfno appears 10 be the name Of the
party Who i doing all the Sighting. snd
OF the place where 10 is done, In that
Eastern war.
Things are mixed when the Le Roy
~ Y } Courier uses the New York Her.
aids war map 20 illustrate the interior
OF the Mormon Tabernacle.
A writer says. The boys must help
themselves" Most boys do until the
old man admonishes them by . thump
on the head that somebody else likes
cake as well a. they
There's light dawning In the eAat."
remarks the war editor Of a contemporary
aud Tor the sake Of preserving the digni.
" OF the newspaper business. Ne advise
that young man 10 so home earlier.
One Of the gratifying results Of the
hard times seems 10 be that man can
wear a shirt for two days without being
80 aas1 .sf N.astrs
person with tendency toward spirit
ualism.
Do not write him down a savage be-
cause be eats with his knife and makes
an outrigger OF biz arm. lie may be .
sword swallowsr or an indiA.rubber man.
and. like all Professors. has 10 keep In
practice.
Peace bath her victories no less than
war. and no one realizes this more fully
than the iood husband who. from a safe
retreat In the barn Loft. watches biz wifo
bringing In water for the Mondays wash
ing
A Nodine Hill man suddenly broke up
a beautiful oratorical address IRON his
wife the other evening. simply BY re.
marking that Ben. Franklin once said
that the worst wheel In the cart makes
the most noise"
Il is when a man is carrying . pound
Of honey on one arm, bAR Of Eggs In the
other. and leading q bulldog BY strong
aud attempts 10 brush = hy OF bis ear,
that he feels no man can bo an expert In
all things.
Chicago passengers now 80 10 0alves.
ton without change" according 20 q rail
road timetable. That is the way trampa
go-'without change" but they make 10
very unhealthy for poultry on The route.
When the orier Of a Russian court
takes a hundred Russian names out Of
jury box and calls them u takeshimtwo-
We, kstocry thcmoh. aud then he goes
home aud has himself kicked In the law
by a mule a. a counter irritAnL
II has been discovered that q good
quality Of illuminating Fas can be made
from sawdust. tar. rsFs. old leather,
bones. and other rubbish. Bot What viii
the unassuminF goat live on Nh~n these
nutritious morscls are converted into
sasG
MANY Who travel hareiooted around
newly cArp~t-d bcdroom often hud them.
selves on the wrong tack.
A little girl hearing Il said that she
wa born on the kinK's birthday took no
notice of u Al the time. tut day OF tao
after a.krd her lather II she and the king
we're twins.
A little Bridgeport boy. who rost three
fingers la = drop-press. ouly remarked.
4 guess mother will cry when shc secs
that
Mother-If Mr., johnson comes. Jem-
my, cay IN not at home.
Jemmy-Ohf / dare say. And then
you'll give me = whaeking for tellinga
story.
In Philadelphia an effort has been
made 10 introduce the needle into the
public schools The girls don't want H.
but the boys think 10 . great improve
meut on bent pins.
District Visitor (blandly)-well. dame
and how do you 6nd things nowi
Crusty Old Cottager-How do hnd
thins.1 Why. BY looking arter 'sm. 70
be sure.
counsel being questioned by judge
10 know "ior whom he was concerned.
replied. II am concerned. my lord. for
thr plaintiff but Am employed by the
One Of the fremen at . recent Gre Ia
The western part OF this State. when he
found the hose not long enough TO reach
from the hydrant 10 the burning build.
ing called. In bis excitement for the
men 10 bring up the hydrant
A Western newspaper has improved
on the original plan. aud now says No
will be Published In this
paper unless accompanied by the foil
name Of the writer and a hvedollar bill.
These are not requested for publication,
but a. n guarantees Of good faith"
"Plenty Of milk in your cans this NOR.
ningY the customer asked a milkman.
Add the milkman nodded grAvely 90 he
replied. "ChAlk-iull"
The humblest can do something toward
making the local paper interesting. IL
you cannot be a dsiaulting bank clerk,
you can. AZ least. step'on = piece OF or.
ange peel and sPrain your ear
A Pennsylvania Dutehman. who mar.
ried biz second vile soon alter the fune-
raj Of the hrst. was visited with . two
hour. serenade. in token Of disapprovAl. Z.
tie expostulated patheticAlly thus: II
-ay. pOys. you ought 70 be ashsmsd Of
, oursclfs 10 be- making al dis noise ven
lar vas a funeral here soon"
Male Friend of Lady visitors-is your
sight - very bad. my poor womani Do
you think. nos. you could see q shilling.
% ! were % show you ouvi
Elderly Party (prnmpily)-Thank 20
kindly. sir. l dunno about shillint
hnl ! m .nre ] rnnld ..s hall : rrnanl'