davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-04-09

An eel is not so slippery as q politi-
clan, but it can live on water longer.
When does love become pitched bat
tie? When it comes to an engagement.
The number of ''the very worst cold
l ever had in my life" is reported upon
the increase.
1t took bishop and four clergymen
to marry one young lady last week. She
was by no means demonstrative either!
''Can you spell donkey with one let
ter?'' asked a silly young man of
bright girl; "Yes." she answered-"u.
Early to bed and early to rise
Makes man healthy. wealthy and wise
But early to Ryes and tardy to bed
Makes mans nose turn cardinal red.
Fight your own battles. Ask no favors
of any one and you'll succeed five thou
sand times better than one who is always
beseeching some ones patronage.
you'll get justice here" said law
yer to his Irish client. who was arraign-
ed for some trifing infraction of the law
"Bedad, sir, an that's what l don t
want" was the honest answer of the
accused.
The Haaokeye says: When death en-
ters town that has vaccinated all its
windows with blue glass, he grimly
shakes his head and goes around and
tries to sell his sickle to the agricultural
implement man.
Two Cuthbert (Ga.) bailiffs went out
on business. the other day, and one lev
led on pot and the other dozen Of
eggs. Meeting on their way home they
cooked and ate the eggs. and the title to
the pot has now come to the county court
Virgins was one day with friend
when he observed poor dog that had
been killed lying in the gutter. Wiggin'
paused, gazed at the poor animal and al
last said: "Here is another shipwreck.
"Shipwreck Where ?" why, there
bark that's lost forever"
Boston has only one fault to find will
Moody, and that is that "his unculchaw
ed mammals and bawbawrous vuhba
enunciation seems to be rathaw exaggah
rated than modified by contact with
highah culchaw" And Mr.. Moody say
'he likes Boston we'll enough but the,
talk the worst English there he eve
heard"
A good story is told of physician
D who recently vaccinated family
Q twelve persons and charged twelve do
: lars. A few days thereafter he took
dozen cabbage heads in part pay. as b
supposed, but upon final settlemen
learned to his surprise that Mr.. Farme
charged doctor prices-"One dollar
!. head"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-04-09
Written for the MONITOR.
WAY.SIDE THOUGHTS.

From the very germ cell Gods wisdom
is seen, and made daily more and more
manifest, until bud, leaf, flower, and
soon the fruit is fully developed; while
around and over all this completed work,
like beautiful eoronal, rests Gods un-
dying, unchanging love. Thus every
thing God hath made bears with it some
beautiful impress of His divine good
ness and eternal wisdom.
Sympathy will work wonders, by
means Of it the statesman is enabled to
walk in political paths which he other
wise could never reach-.mind works
upon mind, whether the cause is right
or wrong.
What pair of stockings few skeins
of street yarn would make for Mrs.
Runabout's feet !
The sweetest thoughtin eternity: God
is our everlasting Father and Christ our
everlasting Redeemer.
On the margin of books we often see
check-marks, referring to some particu-
lar passage. So our lives have check
marks upon them, referring to particular
deeds, whether good or evil, often both;
let us have more of the former and less
of the later.
Men are not so foolish as to start out
on long Voyages without making due
preparations for those voyages. Life is
an eyer-fowing river, with its storms, its
calms, its terrible dashing waves, its
soft ripples, its sweeping winds-adverse
and chilling-its gentle and invigorating
zephyrs. Then if every needed prepa-
ration has been made and rightly
attended to, our bark is as sure of gain
ing port as eternity is to dawn.
G. S. G.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-04-09

At London and at Bremen, Prussia,
the longest day has sixteen and half
hours; at Stockholm, in Sweden, the
longest day has eighteen and half
hours at Hamburg, in Germany, and
Dantzic, in Prussia, the longest day has
seventeen hours, and the shortest seven
hours at st. Petersburg, in Russia, and
Tobolsk, in Siberia the longest day has
nineteen hours, and the shortest five
hours at Tornes, in Finland, the longest
day has twenty-one hours. and the short
est two hours and half; at Wardhuys,
Norway, the day lasts from the twenty
first of May to the twenty-second of
July, without interruption and at Spitz-
bergen the longest day is three and a
half months; at New York the longest
day, June 10Th, has fourteen hours and
fifty-six minutes, and at Montreal fifteen
and half hours.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-04-09

The BEGGING BRoADBR1M.-Yester-
day morning stranger entered store
on Woodward avenue and asked for a
gift of ten cents, stating that he was a
Quaker and without money or friends.
He didn't look exactly like broadbrim,
nor did he talk like one. but the money
was given him and watch set on his
further progress. He went directly to a
saloon, and was in the act of drinking
glass of whisky, when the man who had
given him the money entered and said
That's what you wanted money for,
eh 2"
"Yes, sir" was the calm reply.
81 thought you said you was Quak-
er?".
$50 am
"But Quakers never drink" protested
the other.
"Well, what 1 meant was that l was
Quaker who did drink"
"Don't you ever come into our store
again, sir !"
"No, I shall not" slowly responded
the man. "You have done nObly, and if
you will write down the name and num-
Der, I'll see that keep out. I'm that
kind of Quaker who doesn't believe in
letting any one firm pay all my bills. l
would ask you to drink if 1 had any of
your money left l"-DetrOit Free Press.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-04-09
PADDY'S VERSION OF
"EXCELSIOR.o

Twas growing dark so terrible lasht,
"hin through town up the mountain there passed
broth OF boy, to his neck IN the snow;
AS he walked his shillalah he swung to and fro.
Saying. it's till the top I'm bound To 90,
Be jabers -ss-7
He looked ra@.sai sad and his eyes were as bright
A. ire Of turf on a cowld winter night,
And divil a word that he said could We tell
As he opened his mouth and let out a yell:
It's up to the top Of the mountain III go,
onless covered up wild this bothersome snow,
Be jabersI
Through the windows he saw as he travelled along.
The light OF the candles and fires so warm;
But big chunk of ice fell over his head
Wild snivel and groan, by St. Patrick, he said.
It's up till the very up-top will rush.
And then II It falls it's not meself it'l crush
Be Jabersl
Whist Bit said an old man whose head was as white
As the snow that fell down on the miserable night
shure yen fall in the wather. me bit Of a lad,
For the night is SO dark and the walkn, so bad.
Bedadl he'd 60 till the top If he wint on bis head
Be jabersI
bright, buxom young girl such like to be kissed,
Axed him wadnt he shtOp. and how could he resist9
So swapping his fingers and winking his eye.
While he shmiled upon her. he made his reply
Faith, i meant to kape on till got to the top,
But yer swae selfhas axed me- may as well shtop,
Be jabersl
He shtopped all night and he shtopped all day.
And ye mustn't be akin whin he did 90 away,
For wouldn't he be bastely gossOon
To be LAWN his darlint in the swate honeymoon?
Whin the old man has paraties enough and to spare,
shure he moght well shtay If he's comfortable there
Be jabersi
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-04-09

1T TAXES Two TO QUARREL.-A wom-
an out on North Hill, being counted out
the other morning, after debate on the
question: "Who shall rise and build
the fire ?" got up and split her husbands s
wooden leg into kindling wood, and
broiled his steak with it. 1t made him
SO mad that he got hold of her false
teeth and bit the dog with them. She
cried until she had fit of Mysteries, and
then fillipped out his glass eye, and
climbed upon the bed-post. and waxed
the glaring eye to the ceiling with a
quid of chewing gum. Then he took
her wisp of false hair and tied it to a
stick, and began white-washing the
kitchen with it. Then she started of
to obtain divorce, but Judge Newman
decided that he couldn't grant a divorce
unless there were two parties to the suit,
and there was hardly enough left Of
them to make one.-Bstrlsngtou Hack
eye.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-04-09
BE SURE YOU'RE RIGHT.

BE sure you're right, then 60 aheadr"
That's what brave man wisely said;
And every man in VISIONS light
Can surely tell the wrong from right,
SO that, the evil knowing he
May work for good and victory.
There may be some who'll gibe and sneer
AT honest efforts, but tits clear,
That he who dares to do the right
Shall some day conquer in the fight,
II, needing not the scoffer's cry,
He march right on e'er faithfully.
The grandest victories ever won
Are blessings sent for good deeds done;
And richer far than crowns Of gold,
Or gems Of fabulous wealth untold
Is that bright crown OF gratitude
The'world gives to its brave and good.
oh, toiler standing at the plowi
Oh, workman with the sweating browl
Yours is the mission TO fulfil
The carrying out Of heavens will:
And yours the triumph Of success,
If bravely on you ever press.
Take courage, then. and do your best;
There'll surely come day Of rest,
When sweetest flowers shall strew your way
And chill December turn TO May;
March with a heros iirmest tread
BE sure you're right then go aheadl"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-04-09

Men are like hymns. There are
short-metre men. sharp, blunt and hasty;
there are long-metre men, low. weighty
and dignifed there are hallelu'ah men,
mercurial, fervent and inspiring and
there are eights and sevens men, gentle,
genial and delightful. There are also
some peculiar metres"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-04-09
WIFE AND 1.

She who sleeps upon my heart
Was the first to win t.;
She who dreams upon my breast
Ever reigns within It;
She who kisses oft my lips
Wakes the warmest blessing;
She who rests within my arms
Feels their closest pressing.
Other days than these shall come,
Days that may be dreary;
Other hours shall greet us yet.
Hours that may be weary;
Still this heart shall be thy home,
sim this breast thy pillow.
still these lips meet thine as soft
Billow meeteth billow.
Sleep, then, on my happy heart.
Since thy love hath won It;
Dream, then, on my loyal breast
None but thou hath done IL;
And when age our bloom shall change,
With its wintry weather,
May we in the selfsame grave
Sleep and dream togetherl
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-04-09

An early laborer, the next morning,
met in the woods bare-headed man,
striding up and down, with garments
rent, and disheveled hair. All night
long. under the serene moon and the pit
iless stars. he had paced to and fro.
Even his worst foe could have wished
him no sorer trouble than the breaking
up of that brief dream of beauty and
passion. think Kitty Vance, despite
her own wound, could have found Sit in
her heart to pity him. l think she would
have asked, "What, after all, had it
been? The syren's strain had power to
unman even the sage Ulysses himself !;
and such beauty as Regina Napier's can
rob Truth itself of her truth
Lovely, indeed, had been that dream
on mountain and river, through those
long summer days. For the young man,
during that brief period, all life had
shone trans6gured in loves purple hight
-:.'the light which never was on land
or sea.
But there came a time-and that all
too soon-when he stood apart and look
ed back upon this dream almost as upon
a period of delirium. The fateful gla-
mour had been torn away-how rudely,
how cruelty, the reader knows-torn
away forever; while sadder and wis.,
er man walked alone in the old familiar
ways. They were ways haunted by a
gentle and womanly presence, but it was
not the haunting presence of the haugh-
ty Regina Napier.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-04-09

After all, the best charity ball for
hungry man is a Goldfish ball.
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1877-01-26
Feeding Horses.

The Michigan Farmer has this good
advice: Almost of more Importance
than the form in which food is given, are
the frequency and regularity of meals.
The horses digestive organs are not con-
structed for long fNsts. Long intervals
without food produce hunger, and hunger
begets voracity rood is bolted, and
Indigestion and collie follow. This is
doubly true and dangerous with horses
doing hard work. They come to their
long deferred meal not only hungry, but
exhausted not only is the food bolted,
but the stomach il in such state as to
be incapable of thoroughly active diges-
ton, and is overpowered by half the
amount of food it could otherwise digest.
The prevention of waste is almost at
tanned when we give proper FORM Dnt
there are two points to which it is right
to devote some attentiOn-the form OF
the managers, and attention to the wants
of the individual animals. The
managers should not be less than
three feet long, eighteen inches wide, and
twelve inches deep. They should have
an upper border of wood projecting in
ward for two inches, and transverse
bar Of halcinch iron across the middle.
A piece of two inch hoop iron, on the
top of the manager, protects it from dam
age by the hoses teeth, This simple
arrangement prevents the horse from
throwing out his corn, and the proVender
is not set in so thick a layer as in the
ordinary narrow and shallow Manager
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1877-01-26
.NuttOn-SheeP.

Mr.. Willard, in Rural New Yorker,
advises the keeping Of mutton-sheeP in
connection with dairyipg, but he would
not have them run in the same pasture.
He SAYS: There is need of a much lar
GER number of mutton-sheep in the coun-
try than at present obtains, and we have
no doubt that small hocks of sheep could
be kept on dairv-farms with advantage.
The meat is healthful and nutritious and
can be grown more cheaply than beef,
while il ought to be used more largely by
farmers, who now rely upon pork as the
standard meat for the table. Sheep re-
quire good fences to keep them within
prescribed Enclosures. Stone walls suffl-
,.ient to turn cattle will not do 'Or sheep,
~ they find a foothold on the stones to
scale the walls, and on this account many
farms are not in condition to keep sheep.
Sheep-husbandry is not so exhaustive to
the soil as grain-raising or dairy-tarmlng,
and on lands much worn will be found one
of the means of renovating such lands,
There are many arguments that could be
used in favor Of having English sheep
upon our dairy farms, but the most po-
tent is that of profit, and this will be
sufficient to arrest the attention Of dairy
men to the subject
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1877-01-26

two hours in blackening a stove, end be
50 tired after it that nothing more could
be accomplished that day. This is a
useless waste Of time and strength.
Have your stove perfectly cold, and,
if possible, in a room with the windows
open, as the air assists the progress
greatly. Apply the stove polish with an
old brush to portion Of your stove, and
rub over with your polishing brush. for a
minute or two; then leave it to dry a
little while you serve another portion in
the same manner; but be careful that it
does not dry too much, or it will be gray
in spite of all you can do; then return to
it and polish briskly for several minutes.
In this manner 60 over the whole stove,
returning to the charge again and again,
until the brightness begins to appear
at first grayish, black. but becoming, as
the friction is continued, rich jet black,
both durable and beautiful.
This is for the castings. For the sheet
iron parts as we'll as for the stove,pipes,
use a soft flannel cloth to apply the
backing, small portion at time, and
rub up instantly with another flannel
cloth, and in a few minutes--I had al
most said moments-you will have
smooth polished surface in which you
may see your own grinty countenance
reflected.
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1877-01-26

In green manuring of land the blowing
in of rye is advantageous, The land
should be fertilized in some way when
the rye is sown in the fall; and the grain
should be plowed in with large pillow
about the time that the rye has got its
full growth, b i before blossomiDg. 1t
should first be rolled down fiat upon the
GROUND, 50 as to be easily covered. \
farmer who has thus plowed in rye says
" The land will be quickly and efectu-
ally supplied with a large amount of or
ganic and mineral elements of plant
food Ifallowed to mature, according to
the estimate, the crop plOwed in would
add to the soil of available plant food
about two hundred and twenty-seVen
pounds of nitrogen, two hundred pounds
of potash, and one hundred and twenty
one pounds of phosphoric acid, which
would nearly equal in value the owo
tons of guano."
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1877-01-26
AGRTC ULTURAL.
Butter In Trance.

If our dairymen need spur, an eye
onener, a lesson which speaks volumes
IN three words, here is one at the head of
this article. Butter is actually brought
from France and sold by New York deal
ora. And this is thus because there is
an actual SCARCITY in the market of good
butter put up in an attractive shape for
small consumers.
When we know that one dairyman
GETS S1.15 a pound for his products, an
other 81, and another sevcnty-fve cents
the wear round, at his dairy door, it is
oasIv seen that it will pay to bring but
ter across the ocean from France, if it is
onlv good and shap9ly enough to suit
the fastidious purchasers who will have
something nice, whatever it may cost.
All this butter is made from choice COWS,
choicely fed on clean, sweet food the,
milking is done in the clcanest manner.
The milk is Handled as carefully as
though it were nectar, the cream is
cbnlned with clock and thermometer,
the butter is worked with skill, and is
make up in shapeIy cakes, which do not
require to beTcut when brought to the
table. Compare, then, this cake-hard,
golden yellow, sweet, fragrant andtempt-
ing to all seuscs-with an un8ghtly
chunk, which is cut out of a greasy key.
and smells of old age and rancidity, and
IS made from iIl-kept cream from COWS
filthy lodged and careIessly MIXED,
and is churaed anyhow, and the diff
ference is amply accounted for.-N Y.
Tribune.
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1877-01-26

MERCHANTS GARGLIxG Om.-This
very useful article is now receiving the
very highest concentrations from the
press, and multitudes of witnesses who
havetested its eficacy. It's considered as
one Of the very best remedies, and in its
refined, purified state it is regarded as one
Of the most powerful liniments tor the re-
mOyal Of rheumatism, neuralgia, and the
suferiDgs arising from sprained joints,
bruises, etc.-Ayimer &C. w. Times, Feb.
D. 1857.
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1877-01-26

A lady writer, in one of her letters to
the Christian Weekly, tells how she sue
ceeded in Obyiating almost entirely the
drudgery of scrubbing. She says she
procured from a druggist three quarts. of
boiled linseed oil and the same amount
of shellac varnish. Also a paint-brush.
This quantity of material will cover as
much floor as thirty yards Of carpet, and
costs only $3.50. The floors were cleaned
as thoroughly as possible, and all spots
that will not wash off ought to be planned
off, We put on the first coat of oil III
the evening, and the next morning 1t
was dry. The following evening we put
on a Goa. of shellac varnish, which was
dry by morning. Then after two or
three DAYS we put on the final coat of oil,
but as the wood will absorb but very
little oil this time, we put it on with 4
flannel, and rubbed it in as thoroughly
asopossible. 1t was soon dry and ready for
use Now we have beautiful flo 'rs,
easily kept clean by wiping off the dust
with cold water. Once in three or six
months we can go over them with little
of the boiled oil, and have them look as
we'll as ever again. Such floors would
rob cleaning time" of half its terrors,
and add largely to the purity of the at
mosphere of our houses, already poisoned
by alright stoves and furnaces. 1t is a
cheap reform and easily tried.
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1877-01-26

The Mason & Hamlin Organ Co. re-
ceived from London, a few days since,
a single order for $50 of their organs,
which are becoming nearly as celebrated
in Europe as they are in America. They
have just completed to order an organ
for the celebrated DR.. Franz Liszt. Pestb,
Hungary, for use in his concerts.-N. Y.
Phil Journal,
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1877-01-26
Good PEOtCiRg.

Experiments in England show that as
much force is required to draw three
plows on the top OF the land as to draw
one when doing its work in the land at
a depth of four or five inches. When
the clevis, traces, coulter, and all parts
are not properly adjusted, no PLowman
can make the pillow operate satisfactorily.
When the pillow is correctly adjusted, the
implement may run across the field with
out being held. Properly adjusting the
pillow, saves not only the strength of the
horse, but that OF the plowman likewise.
When he has to ride on the handles to
keep the implement from running TOO
deep, the draft will be greatly increased,
to,the injury o: both plowman and horse.
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1877-01-26

SINCE our last issue we have heard
of several persons who have used Durang's
Rheumatic Remedy for rheumatism and all
pronounce it a success. 1t comes to our mar
'ket highly recommended; and as it is the
only reliable remedy now in use, it will have
a large sale. It is taken internally. Price
SlOO: six bottles, $500.
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1877-01-26

Valuable Gift.-By an arrangr ment with
the Publisher We will send every reader Of this pa
per saupIe package Of transfer Pictures free. send
scent stamp for postage They are highly cOlored.
beautiful and easily transferred to any object to
initiate the most beautiful painting Agents wanted
J. l. PATTEN i Co., I62 William ST., New York
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1877-01-26

A4-our request, Cragin & Co., of Phil
adeIphia, Pa, have promised to send any
of our readers gratis ION receipt of Is
cents to pay postage), a sample Of Dob
bins Electric Soap to try. Send at once
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1877-01-26

If we can benefit the readers Of this
paper any by recommending Parsons Pur-
gatlve Pills to be the best anti-bilious medi-
cine in the country, we are willing to do so.
We have had about as good chance tc know
as any one.
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1877-01-26
MAyHOOD's vIGOR

Is lost when the body is wasted by Dyspepsia, Sick
Headache or Liver Complaint For thus ptti4ble
condition IUTT's Pills are specific. Tue vigOE and
elasticity OF YOUTH and bu6yaucy of spiri will
follow th.ir use. Is cents. is Murray Street, N Y
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1877-01-26
10 OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES.

All communications for this paper should be ac-
..L1,oanied by the name Of the author; not neces-
VI for publication, but evidence Of 90 d faith
~ ;;he Dirt OF the writer. Manuscripts should be
ouitteB only on one aide Of the paper 2e particu-
,v careful in regard to your dates, aud to having
IL SIGNATURES plainly written.
The Lake Charles echo. [volume] (Lake Charles, Parish of Calcasieu, La.) 1876-1898, 1877-01-26

WORTHY OF NOTE.-An exchange says
there is scarcely a day passes that we do not
hear, either from persons coming into our
office or in some other way, OF the success Of
JOhnsOn's Anodyne Liniment in the cure Of
lust now.