Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1877-12-01
The ROmsncs of sIseplng.Car.

her high reputation"
The ROmsBcs of a sIsepIng-CaF.
Burlington Hawkeye.l
1t was in the Cedar Rapids Sleep
er. Outside it was dark as the in
side Of an ink-bottle. In the sleep
ing-car people slept.
Or tried it.
Some of them slept, like Chris
tian men and women, peacefully
and sweetly and quietly.
Others slept like demons, malig-
nantly, hideously, fiendishly, as
though it was their mission to keep
everybody else awake.
Of these, the man in the lower
number three was the boss"
When it came to a square snore with
variations, you wanted to count
clover three" in, with a full
hand and a pocket full of rocks.
We never heard anything snore
like him. 1t was the most system
attic snoring that was ever done,
even on one of those tournaments
Of snoring, a sleeping-car. He
didn't begin as soon as the lamps
were turned down and everybody
was in bed. 0, no. There was
more old-blooded diabolism in his
system than that. He waited until
everybody had had a little taste of
sleep, just to see how good and
pleasant it was, and then he broke
in on their slumbers like a winged,
breathing demon, and they never
knew what peace was again that
night.
He started out again with a ter
rife
"Gn-r-r-r-t!"
That opened every eye in the car.
We all hoped it was an accident,
however, and trusting that he
wouldn't do it again, we all forgayc
him. Then he blasted our hopes
and curdled the sweet serenity o.
our forgiveness by a long drawn
"Gw-a-h-h-h- h-hah!"
That sounded too much like
business to be accidental. Ther
every head in that sleepless sleeper
was held off the pillow for min.
ute, waiting in breathless suspense
to hear the worst, and the sleeper
in CLOVER three" went on, in long
drawn, regular cadences that indl
Gated good staying qualities.
"Gwa-a-ah Gwa-a-ah +! Gahwah
Gahwah-wah! Gahwa-a-a-ah!~.
Evidently it was going to last al
night, and the weary heads dro ppeC
back on the sleepless pillows ant
the swearing began. 1t mumbleo
along in low muttering tones, lik,
the distant echoes of pr efacu
thunderstorm. Pretty soon "owel
three" gave us a little variation
He shot off a spiteful
"Gook !"
Which sounded as though hi
nose had got mad at him and wa
going to strike, Then there wa
pause, and we began to hope h,
had either awakened from sleep o.
strangled to death, nobody care
very particularly which. But ht
disappointed everybody with a gut.
teral.
"Gurooch!"
'Then he paused again for breath,
and when he had accumulated
enough for the purpose he resumed
business with a stentorious
Kowpf !"
That nearly shot the roof off the
car Then he went on playing
such fantastic tricks with his nose,
and breathing things that would
make the immortal gods weep, if
they did but hear him. 1t seemed
q matter incredible; it seemed an ut
ter, preposterous impossibility that
any human being could make the
mOnstrous, hideous noises with its
breathing machine that the fellow
in clover three" was making with
his, He ran through all the ranges
of the nasal gamut, he went up and
down a very chromatic scale OF
snores, he ran through intricate
and fearful variations until it SEEM
ed that his nose must be out of Joint
in a thousand places. All the
night and all night through he told
his story.
"Gawoh ! gurrahl gu-r-r-r
Kowpf! Gaw-aw-wah! gawah-hah!
gwock! gawa-ri! gwah-h-hll whoofl'
Just as the other passengers had
consulted together how they might
slay him, morning dawned, and
slower number three" awoke.
Everybody watched the curtain to
see what manner of man it was
that had made that beautiful sleep
ing-car a pandemonium. Presently
the toilet was completed, the cur
tMns parted, and clover number
three" stood revealed.
Great heavens
1t was fair young girl, with
golden hair, and timid, pleading
eyes, like hunted fawn'sl