The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-12-13
SENSE AND NONSENSE.
An old man trying TO look young

SENSE AND NONSENSE.
An old man trying to look young is
one of the saddest Of sights.
MODERN marriages, says a contem-
porary, begin and end with court.
The best woman's rights are mar
rage rites, as the St. Louis Journal
views it.
THE doctrine of the survival of the
latest didn't seem to affect Daniel Lam.
bert any.
APAPER in North Carolina speaks of
the Penitentiary as - robber of the
gallows."
MINNESOTA is larger than the whole
of New England, but it can't destroy
half 50 many beans.
A PARIS letter says that, of all for
eigners in that city, Americans make
the best Frenchmen.
WHEN girl can embroider book
mark and dust the piano, she thinks
it about time to look for q beauty. r.
Graphic.
"WHAr is a dollar?'' asks the Graph
&c. It's just the same as gratitude;
something of which we owe more than
we have.-Haack-Eye.
THEY say married people live longer
than those who remain single. OF
course, two people will live longer than
one.-Ne,UGrk Courier.
HONOR tells you not to hit a man
when he's down, and discretion warns
you against hitting him when he isn't
down.-St. Louis Journal.
The man who has been looking for .
sea-serpent all summer has returned,
and is looking for an oyster in church,
fair stew.-Herald p. /. Man.
The wheat crop is all right, oats are
plenty, buckwheat is beautiful, potatoes
are cheap, but why don't Nature grow
one or two more apples?-Detroit Free
Press.
THERE is woman on North Hill so
fashionable and SO stingy that when she
goes to church she wears six-butt0ned
kids and q ten-buttoned pocketbook.
Burlington Ha,ok-Eyc.
RUsKIN says that disorder in draw
ing-room is vulgar; in an antiquary's
study, not; and that while the black
stain on soldiers face is not vulgar,
the dirty face of a housemaid is.
"WHERE there's swill there's q way"
Is the pig remarked, when it climbed .
ten-rail fence and tunnellcd under an
Usage hedge to get at barrel of slOp in
the back yard.-Burlingtoa HaUk-Eye.
Few things strike the European
mind with more establishment than the
undertaking of an individual to create
town. Such an enterprise is almost
unknown in Europe, but it is not un-
common in America.
AN English poacher was seen to take
aim at a bird, his gun was seen to go
of, and the bird was picked up dead,
yet the poacher was cleared because it
was not proved that his gun was load
ad.-Detroit Free Press.
SCIENCE, with Its accuracy and pre-
cision in many directions, has never
been able to make out to the satisfac-
ton of thinking minds why servant
girl always has more cousins than any
other living creature.-Chicago Times.
IT'LL He cometh, till He cometh, :"
is the beginning of a beautiful little
song which is sung in West Side Sun
day-School, and there is one young man
who puts his best notes on the first
words of this particular piece when he
sees his favorite coming i'm at the door
His favorite's name is " Tillie. CHI
cago Journal.
"IA convinced that the world is
growing BETTER" remarked a reverend
gentleman to a brother clergyman.
my congregation is constantly in
creasing." "Yes," interrupted the
brother, who happened to be Peni-
tertiary chaplain, land SO is mine. :"
And there the discussion on the arrival
of the millennium dropped.
The German Government is still try
ing to chase the potato-bug out of the
land of Bismarck with kerosene bon
fires; but we think that by next spring
we will see the Colorado beetle fnfuse
little more sense into the heads of the
Teutonic agriculturists than all that,
and teach them to accept the inevitable
without q murmur.-Burlington Hauk-
Eye.
The "dog-6reman'' of Harrisburg,
Pa, is dead. He was large-sized,
white Newfoundland. and for years has
appeared at all important fires and pa
rades, ready to lend a helping paw.
He was buried with honors, to the toll
ing of the fire-bell, and surrounded by
no less than 1900 friends who had
known him in life only to admire his
noble qualities. ReQuiesdog.-Chicago
Journal.
The price of postage-stamps doesn't
come down like the other necessaries of
life. An enterprising dealer who would
furnish them 25 per cent. cheaper than
the Postoffice authorities would make
money provided the Government would
let him alone. Postage-stamps are
manufactured for one cent per hundred;
so, if letters had not to be carried, a
handsome profit would be made on
them.-Detr0it Free Press.
"CHAMPAGNE CHARLEY was his
name," and everybody ought to know
it as it has been sung throughout the
greater part of the world. But how
few, even among the higher walks of
musical culture, knew his other name!
It was Thorpe, and he lived in London.
His father left him little triflc of
$50, 900 year, and 50 Charles Thorpe
had abundant means of supplying his
inordinate thirst for champagne. But
that beverage got the better Of Charley
at last, for he has just died in London
at the early age of thirty-four, and all
the record that he has left in the world
is that he was a jolly good fellow, loved
champagne and was the hero of q
once popular comic song.-Detroit Free
Press.
How the Voting Is Done In Paris.
Toward noon met a friend at the
Cafe de la Paix and went with him to
his voting place. It was against the
law for any but voters to 60 in; but my
friend took the responsibility of seeing
| me fhrnurh We walked nm tn the Rue