Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1877-11-28
w1T1c1s1es
The flirt's plea" Not jilty."

| WA4AV80A0S
The flirt's plea--" Not jilty."
| LITTLE Sofftgoods- Bek pardon,
Miss, but YOU'RE down in my Invoice for
the next Dance"
AN experienced boy says he regards
hunger and the schOolmaster's rattan q
about the same thing, as they both make
him holler.
WHEN . Virginia gentleman asks
another to drink he blandly says:
"Shall we give the public debt I lift r
And they lift.
LITTLE Johnny is quite sure the pic
ture of Spitx dog he drew on the parI0r
wall was good because it made his father
mad.
A GRAVE old man told his son that II
he did not grow less dissipated be would
shorten his days. Then, dad,n said
the boy, ~ shall lengthen my nights"
Our coasting trade Is picking up. A
firm in RondOut, N. r., has made and
sold over ten thousand sleds this season.
Bottom Pot.
A RECENT marriage notice ends with
the singular expression, probably added
by wsggish friend, I. May their future
troubles be little ones."
THAT Umbrell, of Minef It was last
heard of going down street, beipg held
over That Girl Of Mine by That Rival Of
Mine Yoxkers Gasette.
A FAMILY in Washington, living near
a church, has huge parrot, who yells
"Too thin! Too thinp in stentOfian.
tones, while the congregation worahips
next door.
YES, it's very pleasant TO watch the
wreaths of smoke curl upward from the
puff of good cigar, but the man who
has to 20 barefooted in his boots doesn't
see where the sentiment comes in.
| THOSE big hotels in Chicago attract
English tourists right away, but when
the said English tourist has paid his bill,
he is heard blawsting theso -ah--
blawsted menageSiea-"
| IT was observed of . philosopher who
was drowned in the Red Sea that " His
taste would be suited, for he wAs man
of deep thinking, and always wanted TO
60 to the bottom"
"CoNsTAET READER wants to know
if the poem was declined because it was
too long" No, il was because it was too
thin.--Derter Smsth's.
"WE all knows" said the school com.
mittee man to the new teacher he was ex-
amining for her position, that A, 3
and G Is wowels but wot We wants 70
know is wy they is 20"
A TRAMP called at house on West
Hill street and asked for something 10
eat. He was 60 thin, he said, that when
he had pain he couldn't tell whether
it was touch Of the collie or the back
-Haackeye.
AN old bachelor was c0urting widow,
and both sought the aid of art to give
to their fading hair . darker shade.
That's going to be an afectionate
couple" said wag. How sof' asked
q friend. "Why, don't you see they're
dyeing for each other alreadyf'
IT SHOWS every other day in Russia
during the winter, and thousands Of
| young men Join the Cars army to tight
| the Turks for NO other purpose than To
get rid of shoveling three or four feet OF
snow Oh the front pAvements three Or
four times week Noristors Herald.
The Paragraphers' Association \
greater than the telegraph, greater than
| the telephone. Through its dclicate. m
tricate process paragraphcr can At ~
his room in New York and scratch the
back OF paragrapher in New OEleans.---
Courier JeSyn1l.
/! An Ifishman who had been sick long
time was one day met by the parish
priest. when the fOllOwinR convoTnn1tOn