The Van Buren press. [volume] (Van Buren, Ark.) 1859-1914, 1877-09-11
[Vo1. 1j.---No. 2l



The lady of a Cottage Hill house, the
nurse-girl and cook, held brief consul
nation. aud concluded that an old man
whose toes stuck q rod out OF his boots
end the crown of whose summer bat was
| held by hinge Of straw and Tapped ur
and down in the wind, disclosing the fact
that the aged wearer was bald, very baid.'
must be really worthy, aud they invited
him to a scat in the kitchen while bis
breakfast was being prepared The ira-
GRANGE Of the frying pan revived Tue
dropping spirits of the aged tramp, and
unlocked his streams OF conversation
which the cold charities Of the world had
frozen up. fitting his chair back, he
said:
"1he people Of the oil regions appear
to get long right slick. Everywhere !
have been things look comfortable and
homelke, and business seems to be crow
dug RICH, ahead :
4 with THIS as starter, the old man
carried the conversation through state
and national politics, religion, literature.
&c.
IL like my meat we'll DONE" he sug.
pested to The cook, who he observed was
preparing to lit his steak from the stove
"and that reminds me- he went on,
i" that the Russians hre pursuing an
under-done, wishy -washy course on the
banks of the Danube
| He frightened the cord that held his
coat together in lieu Of buttons. tapped
an ear to unseat troublesome fy, and
continued
J "Dog my cats if it doesn't make me
! about half mad at the Car. ii | had
| command of that army, do you know
. what would do z" and he shut one eye
, and gaized at the lady of the house as
inquiringly as catechism. No one
seemed to know.
81 would push right across exclaimed
the old man, striking the sink with his
fist, land if | wouldn't make those
greasy Turks hunt their holes thcre'sno
! hereafter. Ali it requires is pontoon
: bridge and little git up and go long,
, Mary Jane
, His breakfast was ready, and thrust.
! ing his legs under the table with the
OF man who had just bought the house
and lot and paid the money down. ho
E harpooned roasted potato and contin-
ued:
Old Hopandgofetchit, who has COM
mand Of the Russian zouaves, Is in the
best position the worl to skip right
along into Constantinople and take pos
. session of the court house. would do it
q Il swear to gracious I would do it."
and lie reached out and captured hard
boiled egg.
II would do it SO quick 1t would
make their everlasting heads swim. Then
| would take run across the Medlter-
ranean, flop down on the Saez canal
boats, tear up the tow-path and take
. possession OF the mules Then across
E the country To the Gulf OF Mexico Iwould
fly as the hurricane leaving death anu
desoation in my--see here, SUSAN he
said, breaking short and addressing the
a nurse. girl, 'for the love OF heaven. don't
, hold the baby with its head down"
The old gent continued to draw in the
victuals like man who hadn't tested
! bite for six months, and talking in way
, to turn book agent green with envy.
: He told the woman what Congress ought
! to do when it meets, and finally showed
, away from the table, wiped his lips with
! the cloth and asked them II they had IN
old pair of pants that wasn't baggcd at
! the knees. Tho pants were hunted up
a and handed to him by the lady OF the
! house, who in turn asked If he would 60
j into the garden patch and kill q few pota-
/ to bugs for her.
q "Po;ato bugs" he said, as he gathered
up his hat and passed to the door, ''po-
!, tato bugs are something with which l
have had no experience. l don't know
one from jay bird But q friend ~
, mine will be here about noon who can
kill more potato bugs in minute than
you could shake q stick at. III leave Q
chalk mark on the gate post and he will
call. Tata,' and the aged tramp tipped
. his hat gayly and was off, his stomach
= sticki, @ out in front OF him like bay
i window.--Oil City Derrick.
: The workingman at Sl25 per day IS
: always syoken Of as having large fam
:. lily to support Now, the probability
> is that at least half the men who are en-
= ployed at that rate are unmarried, and
:, of those who are married and have a
family, few make even the pretense of
:. supporting it, but leave that dutyto
,, their wives, who manage it upon 2 dollar
- day, ofteutimes gained By washing or
!. equally arderous work, with the draw
~ back of not only having to support the
:. family, but care for them, wash for them
Z cook for them, and sew for them in addi-
: ton | myself know one poor woman
. who could consider herself most happy
y If she could have the entire control OF
. one dollar per day upon which to keep
! her family Of six persons, intending her
> husband, who not only spends his own
= earnings in rum and tobacco, but mort
4 Cages hers, steals them, swears at and
= beats her, or threatens to beat the chll-
y dren until she yields them to BIN
= Jennie June. M