The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-04-14
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.


Hawkins Of the Aurora Daily Netrs, got The
CITY printing last week. The vote in the city
council stood for the Daily Netcs, for the Bea
con. and one vote for :" DAILY Nusans.' The tell
ers decided that that meant Hawkins. Correct
An English Farmer lately hanged himself while
smoking, the pipe being between his lips wheh
he was found. 1t isn't really believed, 'hough'
cave by the enthusiastic disciples OF lrask' tha'
II was the tobacco that killed him,
Ford's Lacon Democrat puts on us thinking
cap, and evolves the following;
HAYES has been in office about one month, and
aiter careful observation as to his capacity to
nile we have come to the conclusion that II he
only had the brains of Tilden, the honesty OF An
drew johnson, and the frmness of Gen Jackson,
lie would make moderately fair President.
Captain Burnaby, the Asiatic traveller, finds
The Garden of Eden very cold. On February 5
he wrote from Erzeroum, which is close to it:
THE thermometer is about zero. If the wealth
er was like this at the Creation, Adam and Eve
must have found it uncommon cold in iig leaves
A Harvard "soph' recently evolved the follow
ing for prizes
How sweet to linger near a crosswalk muddy,
While Sol in March dissolycs the tardy SHOWS,
And lose ones self in contemplative study
Of symmetry which gathered skirts disclose!
But 0. how mean, when to our optics eager
To CLEAN of patient watchfulness the fruits,
The petticoats soil scorning, grant meagre
Display Of Goodyear's patent rubber boots.
H. w. Beecher was grossly insulted by the
mob as he passed through Elmwood several
weeks ago on his way to Peoria. The Fulton
Democrat thereat reloices that Elmwood is not
in Fulton county, and is sorry 1t is not in III.
:" Bad as Bcecher may be, he did not deserve to
have to go through Elmwood," says the Demo-
erat
It is so very dry in Los Angeles county, Cali
rornia that the farmers cannot water their stock.
Let them import few Pennsylvania Railroad d.
rectors; If they don't "wa.er the stock Noahs
food would not suffice
The Joliet Reoord states il as an actual fact
that one Of the BARRIERS Of that city, being called
20 shave Il dead man the other day, on perform
ing the job, remarked to the corpse: "Your
head is very dirty and really good shampoo
would do you an immense amount of good, with
some Of my hair dressing"
The venerable Dr. Strong, of Hartford, had an
unfortunate habit Of saying amusing things
when he didn't mean to. On one occasion, when
presiding at meeting Of ministers, wishing to
call on one OF them to lead in prayer, he said:
Brother Cotton,
vi ,l,i boitoh,
VIII you step this way
And pray?'
To which Mr.. Cotton Immediately answered.
wi,hout intending TO nerpetrats ANYTHING Of the
same sort:
"Nv dear Bro,ber Stronr
You do very wrong
To be making rhyme
AT such a solemn timen
And .bop Mr. stronp added.
"rm very sorry to see
That you're just like me-
The maple sugar season brings TO mind the
saying oil John u. sake, thaV vermont was noted
i ,,Ir,s ,o "nJ borses '""P''
The first was strong,
The last was feet, .
ne se W . u,u omi,u ha ~ 80 hsa e"'e
y,s IN
INA. was pueet ooy ~ @ nn a., H. ,., mno
inso .nH go on ~ oe' anu
Sun
or the two falls We should prefer the one the
boy took. And then, he knew his mother was
ocN of.-1urord Ne,cs
rIoros hod No .ioh, IN donoso rro5 Douolos
hayes hau no rlgh' 10 ueposc freu' Doueias
White House recont,on. on the ground Of being
q ,ipger Fred has better claim 10 beinO
white man than HAYES has 10 the presidency
His b,ood ia ahout 4 white IN A negro while
Iyoves,s claim n the presidency stands Is Ia T.
-. y
ana Is irauauient even theh
"Yesnsaid Mrs. Blank as She sat possipup
with her sister, 0you have no idea how much nv
lack thinks of Won. ONLY this morning AS | wen,
IA wake him heard HIM calling ont in his sIeep
'Oh. come, ante. will youTn
W A. 80 s.o,,, ,,,o,.oa a,.,.,,o,o,o
VIC 'oPy t"o "'o'o ''''
Now where is the point? is IL in the bad spell
-!hg!
Temperance people will make note of another
death from the use of intoxicating liquors.
Decker Dutton of Hartford county. Maryland,