The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-12-15

What is the difference between a
person going to Plymouth Church and
one about to ask lady favor? One
is going to see Beecher and the other is
going to beseech her.
"A Saginaw City babe only weiobs
one pound and half, and is so delicate
that its mother will never dare use any,
thing bigger than broom splint TO
switch it with.
"A very pretty Sunday-school sonois
the one entitled: :" Put Your Armour On
My Boys" There is, however, younG
lady in town who doesn't like to hear
it. She says it sounds like " Put your
arm around me, boys" and it ALWAYS
make her feel lonesome.
What tender, subtle thread of rem
iniscence and association is it that makes
grown city man, when he strolls past
an orchard in his rambles, gaze long
and silently, while he involuntary stoops
down and rubs the calves of his legsp
-HalCk-Eye.
In consequence of the hard times n
New York firm has brought out carriers.
inlaid with precious stones, costing sew
enty-flye dollars pair. 1t is a false
economy that induces woman to fasten
her garter with piece of Irvine, when
the Jeweled article is so cheap.
Men and brethren, will you give up
without fuss all the heaven-born rights
for which your forefathers fit and bled?
Orwill you see the daughters of fashion
array themselves with coat-tail buttons
Wlthout-withOut-well, hadn't some
thing ought to be done about it? Where
is the thing to Cincinnati Break
fast Tube.
LOGIC.
Man, so they say, is food for worms,
And worms are meat for fish:
lis true, by logic, then, that we
May meet on some ones dish:
Nay, more; worms also prev on books
And books are brains of men
We md the reason here why fish
Return to brains again!
"A trenchman, who calls himself a
g Professor, created a small sensation
in New York by waltzing for seven
hours without stopping. While there
are so many serious things to be done
in life by a man with an immortal soul,
such performance seems like a dead
waste of time and effort. But capaci-
ties are different, and if man really
feels that he has no higher mission in
life than to twiddle his legs, perhaps
we ought to regard him with pity rather
than with scorn.-Rhiladelphia Bulletin.
-Diphtheria and scarlet fever have
become sporadically epidemic in this
country, but the most afflicted of large
places are Brooklyn, L. l., and Pater-
n Il n tba 81, L,
Jan. and Oct. l, 1877, there were L.
6O5 cases of diptheria reported at the
sanitary bureau, of which 5S1 proved
fatal, and of 2,200 cases of scarlet fever
5SS were fatal. In Paterson diphtheria
is making great ravages, and in a large
majority of instances the cause of all
these woes is defective drainage, STAG
nant water, or impure surroundings of
some kind.
MODERN JULIET
Oh, it is early yet! STAY, Romeo!
See, 1t is not quite ten-and you would gol
1 10 remember When there scarce was need
10 urge you so.
o nurse! l wish you'd stop that screaming!
III come in when Pm ready-not before:
(She will not hear me if Pm very careful
Closing the door,
What if my father knew about this! Oh!
Ihere'd be some lively times if he found out
mat you were on this doorstep, Romeo,
Beyond doubt.
But go not yet-he'lI not be home till late.
You must: Step lightly, then, or Pm afraid
Some one will hear you. &c. goodnight, good
How long he stayed!
He stood shivering around the Cen
trail Market, a drop of rain finding its
way down his spinal column now and
then. He recognized the fact that the
season had closed, and that sleeping
under sheds had become cold and mo-
notonous. GIVE got to lay out plans
for the WINTER he was heard musing
as he dived into his empty pockets
" I'm kinder 'fraid that the public are
sick of grasshoppers and fire sufferers,
and L know they are up to snuff on the
dodge of clergymen driven out of Ar
kansaw by the Ku-Klux. Let's see: L
might be Russian or Turkish exile,
but L can't talk the language. might
be settler driven out of Idaho by the
lnJuns, but the war is ended. All these
Kerosene and gunpowder accidents are
old; the public don't care any more who
gets hurt on railroads, und my ewes are
too good to play off blind. Mother hand
organ wouldn't pay, and the chestnut
business is too cold, and folks won't
buy any more toothache cure. Hang
it, all the lodges are played, and here
l am as hungry as wolf and clothes
all gone! 1t looks as if the day wasn't
far off when We'll all have to 90 to work
and wear ourselves down to the bone
to get living. "-DetroH Free Press.