Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1877-04-06
WHOLE NO. 600.
Gleanings.

/
A parrot is said to live 200 years.
BARRIERS do not live to be that age, but
they talk more.
The Chicago baby-show was not an
utter failure. 1t succeeded in making
700 mothers mad at all mankind.
We can generally tell what mans go
ing to do next when he puts the lighted
end of Il cigar into his mouth by mistake.
California pantllers now crawl into hol-
low logs to escape the pursuit of Califor-
MIA girls. Where Can California men go?
Little Johnnie is quite sure the picture
of il Spitz dog he drew on the parlor wall
was good, because it made his father
mad
Nobody knows to this day what time
Noah had Of it in the Ark 18th the antedi-
luvian ancestor OF the present Kentucky
mule.
If man on a polar expedition should
kill another, what would be the heinous-
ness of his crime, Murder in the eighty
third degree.
Ou CdIl tiibI u tLuhh, wv yOA' o.
ed y detected hotel porter. 1T only
needs lightning conductor to make 1t
look like a boarding house.
An exchange says 1t is thought that the
time will yet come when members OF the
choir will be expected to beh We during
divine service Just as we'll as other folks.
1t is with gloomy views of the future
that the young Boston man, after laying
out 70 cents in caramels for his sweet
heart, learns from her own lips that kiss
ing is aliunde-
APair of deaf mutes were married in
Monroe, Ga, a few weeks ago, and now
it is more fun than circus to see them
quarrel and make faces at each other,With
their fingers.
After looking at the picture of a spout
ing whale tor a long time, little boy
seemed to become more and more puzzled
At last he turned to his uncle, and point
ing to the picture, said: "Oh, my doesn't
he sneeze good long way"
Poor boy" said lady, as she took
out her purse to give the little beggar
some change Yes, | am poor boy"
sand the young rascal, squeezing tear
out of his eye, land have four sick moth
ers to support" The lady put back her
purse, shook her head and walked sadly
away.
Johnnikin and the goblins - Aunt
"Now l must take away the candle,
Johnny" Johnny-'N-n-o, please,
aunty' Aunty why, you're net
afraid, surely You know the angels
watch over good little boys" Johnny.
Yes, aunty; but then they cant see to
watch 'em in the dark "
1t makes the editor of the Norristown
Her I'D feel sad, and impels him to aband
on the IDEA OF having all his gold plate,
diamond jewelry. costly bronzes and 9TH
er valuabIes deposited in his tomb, when
he reflects that few thousand years
hence some DR.. Paul Pry Schileman may
come along, break open his grave and
rifle il of its contents.
Stein O'Kiboge sold his furniture, and
the country side all came. Jean, the
| pluughmans wife. was among the rest,
and, rs SIZE came up to the big pier glass,
SilC IedCuCu out Hti hahN o1y it6 w uIl
image therein An this is yous How
are We, the day. | ken I've seen your
face in Culross before, but / kama mind
the name?"
"The brink of the water" exclaimed
Mr. Midulerib, bulging joysusly into the
sanctum, lis broken-1 mean the wink of
of the batter is b-naw, the wack of the
l. sl,a fbx,h hrncE f,f tho L,
is-shucky, the brote of the baker is
winken-here, where is the nearest shoot
er dop?" And the old gentleman was
gone before we could ask him if he WAS
trying to announce that the back of the
winter was broken.-Haekeye.
The idea has been widely prevalent,
and has seemed to afford sort of malic-
ious satisfaction TO many, that the rich
could not take their money with them to
the next world. But when We read that
Montague man has begun to manufac-
ture fire. proof wallets" and has received
n large order from Boston, We begin to
wonder what it all means.-Bostoa Ad-
rert ser.
| A hoy came down Linwood avenue on
the rush a few nights since, and in an ex-
cited manner said there were lot of
lights in the Jewish burial grounds.
Half dozen scientific men. four loafers
and dog started off to see them. The
graveyard was as dark as such places usu-
ally are. "Where are the iights:' asked
big man of the boy. The youngster
backed off to safe distance and yelled
out, Under ground; they're 1sraelites!"
lie then ran for his life.--Helr0ss Jonrn-
al.
You are all standing on the brink Of
the Niagara of perdition," said a sad-faced
man upon entering an Eighth avenue car
last night The passengers looked up
In as,onishment, and the speaker, stating
that he would not take any particular
text, commenced a rambling discourse,
which was abruptly broken off by the
man attempting to pass counterfeit nick
el on the disguised conductor.
Ike said Mrs Partington, who's
this Electoral Bill that they're making
such locomoti0n about in the house
of reprehensibles? l don't wonder that
they doubt his vOracity and have a tribu
ulalion of commissonaries set on him"
Ike replied that he run for Congress
against Buffalo Bill. whom he distanced.
Then the old lady went to sleep. and Ike
gave the cat sitz bath and spoonful Of
boneset.
A young Bridgeport dry goods clerk
out of job got situation iu a meat
market. The other morning he stood
thinking dreamily about his girl when y
lady entered and said, Are these steaks
good?" splendid mum. wear you like
India rubber. Nothing slazy about our
goods, mum, last you IL long time, in fact
you can't make any impress" The
recommendation of the absent-minded
young man. who had got his two callings
mixed in his abstraction, was cut short by
the hasty departure of the customer, who
did not keep clearinghouse and there.
tore didn't require SO much durability in
her steaks
The Turks have Il strange Idea of hum
or. On Christmas day IL Turkish gen.
darme, enragcd with the Christian Mayor
of the village of Brankortsi, Bulgaria,
grve him Il severe beating, saddled, and
bridled him, and compelled the poor
wretch to carry him up and down the
street. He finally drove him to the viii
lage inn, and throwing the reins to the
hostler ordered him to walk the horse up
and down: The landlord ventured TO in
terfere. but WAS knocked down for bis