Litchfield enquirer., 1877-07-26
cLIRPlMcs.

The small girl with seventeen hundred buttons on string, seems to be dead.
 It is singular that no baggage-master ever committed suicide because of religi. ous e1clSemnen' nm TIT s A cynic describes marriage as an altar on which man lays his wallet and woman her affections. EEaKS Sk
 A Conscientious western saloon.keeper whose next neighbor was an undertaken. Inscribed over his door, ''This is the road to-continued in our next" v4-s =-A
 A cotemporary says of very promi- nent militia general that his sword was never drawn but once,-and then in raf- fe.
 A fashionable young lady lost one of her false eyebrows in church pew. and badly frightened young man nextto her, who thought it was his moustache. &&& g
 ''Incl ease your receipts and decrease your expenditures, " is the valuable infor- nation sent to the fools who forward 25 cents to New Yorker In answer to the advertisement, "How to become rich. . A FIxTURE.-An Irish soldier, being for the first time on guard, was thus aceosted by friend; What are ye standing there for, Mike ?'' ''shure they tould me to stand here for a centhury."
 Two friends were passings church, one evening. when a strong smell of burning leather pervaded the air. "I wonder if that is the odor of sanctity." said one. 'I think it must be-" was the quick reply, "for it smells of soLes.''
 A gentleman in England committed su,- eide in the. other day, and left paper stating that he did so because his wife was great deal too good for hlm. That's why the jury returned verdict re- cording their opinion that deceased was of "an unsound state of mind"
 Mir. David Dudley Field is anxious about the conscience of the people. He wants to stir it up. Suppose he should succeed, what would become of him? His fate would be like that of the man who ''stirred up" a keg of dynamite with a hammer. r.-.
 A crazy woman walked into the Congre gational church at West .Msriden last Sunday, and while the organist was play ing the interlude, screamed in shrill voice, adjure you, in the name of the Almighty to trot that hymn sIow!' .
 The Bridgeport Standard prints Ire fol- lowing under the head, Miscellaneous Religions"
 At least fifteen African Methodist Epis. copal churches in Texas have been burn. ed by incendiaries during the current year.
 A public reader says that when he be- gins to declaim the stirring piece common. cing, "Strike the Lyre!" the effect of the first sentence on some of his hearers can only be compared to what follows the cry of "Low bridge" on canal boat
 70 heavens. save my wife shouted a man whose wife fell overheard in the Hudson river,. recently. They succeeded in saving her, and her husband tenderly embraced her, saying. My dear, if you'd been drowned what should have done? l aint going to let you carry the pocket book aga1n. ,"
 When Oliver Cromwell visited York minister catheeral in England, he saw in one of the apartments statues of the twelve apostles in silver, "Who are those fellows there?" he asked as he approached them. On being informed, he instantly replied, '"Take them down and let them go about doing good" They were taken down and melted and put into his treasu- ry. s4s a4
 MT. Cough tells gosd story Illustrative of quaint Scottish humor: 1.-Two sparks from London once came upon decent looking shepherd in ArgYleshire, and &C., posted him with. You have very fine vlew here-you can see great way. 'Yu aye, yu aye, a ferry great way. 'Ah! you can see America here. suppose?' 'Farrar than that How is that?' 'Yu jist wait tule the mists gang away, and you'll see the mune.'"
 A city pastor and pen1tentiary chaplain were comparing views as to the drawing near of the millennium. City pastor said: II feel that the millennium is near at hand; the world is getting better;I see it in the increase of my congregation ' Penitentiary chaplain responded: "Well, perhaps it is so, but notice that my con- .gregation. too, is on the increase. The two ministers agreed to drop the subject of the miileuium &E& @- 2 4&&A E4
 Mir. J. R. Johnson, recently the editor of the New Milford Gazette, has accepted .a position as proof reader on the New York Tri6uue-a position that requires not only an intimate knowledge of the practical details of the topographic art, but also a general knowledge of almost every branch sof business and art of the world 6 sa 8 A
 A little girl, in Willimantic, who has been importunate for baby companion, came down to breakfast, the other morn. ing, with very self satisfied and impor- tant air. Now" said she to her mother, 'I guess we'll have one pretty soon. " "Have what?" asked the mother. "A ba- by" promptly returned the young inno- cent. ''I prayed to the Lord. last night, to send us one,T but of all things,i not to send red haired one, for we all hate red hair." Breakfast was resumed admidst a profound and solemn silence .a,e A widow in Baltimore put crape on hel door. The crape remained there about week before the landlord made bold tt interrupt her grief, and when he entered. he found nothing there but the house, | Her grief was so intense that she had in | advertently removed all the furniture 1 The debt of nature which had been paid 1 was supposititious. The debt for rent | remains uncanceled. And yet they sa, than women are not calculated for busi ness.
 Tom Scott is credited with being harc at work to prevent the Ohio democratic convention next week from adopting al anti.subsidy plank.
 Burglars attempted to enter three O four places in West Stafford, on Tuesda, night. the 17th. and in each case they were driven off by dogs. ~ i Itsis stated upon high official authorit. that before taking any further steps tow ard the recognition of the Diaz govern ment of Mexlco. the United States govern ment will await the promised reparatiol for the actual invasion and bloody conflict of Mexican troops upan the soil of Texas A gentleman in this city recently re ceived B letter from friend residing al Albany flat, Calaveras county. relatin, l the circumstance of the discovery of tha delicious edible, subterranean fungus l known as the truffle. The truffie is yer,