The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1877-11-29


for credit, II wouldn't even trust my own feel
ings.'
Our eountrymen sbroad.-Ulloal Gsreong,
here you are! Dayjernay, see you play ?-Yes,
sarei Vat vii you ave, ssre?-Oh! oofs-Yes,
sare! Eufs la coque, ssrel Oh, noBg! Hang
It'll Hens eggs for me, please!
A crazy man with hatchetrecently through
a Trappst monastery, aud cleaned ont the en-
tire establishment. The inmates didn's fancy
that kind of chip monk.
AT o'clock this mornng a bright meteor
was seen to drop like q jewel from the chats-
laine of Orion,-The Graphic. [And didn's IL
seem as if the sidewalks lifted up before you,
and as if there we've too many lamp posts?
These ara the nights when the young man of
the ''Oh Geowge' sort comes home aud writhes
before the mirror in fruitless attempt TO de-
eide whether she spoke in jest or earnest when
she alluded to his incipieut "full beard" as
''those horrid old whiskers,''
"Crazy Horse" an exchange says. "was the
possessor of thirty-four scalps, not counting his
own, and the Indians considered him quite
rich man." And the cream of the thing lie, this
bloated scalp holder was the architect of his
own fortune. Every lock of hair he possessed
was of his own raising.
"And you must go so soon?" she m1rmured
AZ he gathered up his hat aud cane and turned
his sleepy eyes towards the door. sit is lste,''
he SAIL "Late?' she cooed softly; may, love.
nights candles are not burned out, and joeund
day is still sbed. l pray you ara lnger mo-
ment longer" but he said he couldn't posi-
bly,; he had to get down to the store at seven
o'clock or the boss would dock his wages, and
he couldn't stand that nohow and besides he
had good deal of dustlng to do. And he
"dusted.'
A young lady was married in New York
| the other day who received from her
| father the gift of brown stono front on
Fifth avenue and an income of thirty thousand
dollars year. 1t is strange that all parents
are not equally as liberal towards their daugh-
ters on turning them over to the husband OF
their choice. Ii they were, the fact would
| leDd to marriage poetic touch that would
make it really attractive. However, it is well
| established fact that the parent who Invests
large fortune in "a son-iu-law rarely ever real
ICES more than one half of Que per cent upon
the investment, and may possibly sink the
whole pile.
The Bismarck Tribune tells of a man who
had been to the Black Hills and was boastiug,
the village drugstore how many IudiaDs he
had killed. One of the steners fuslly ex-
claimed: II find that you killed 1900 savages in
three months" SIS that all?'' exclaimed the
unabashed Black Hitler. 'Why believe you
| have left out a week somew here" "lf you
had such good luck in killing Indians, why
| didu't you stay there?" demanded another
suspicious listener. "Well the truth ie, gentle
men, was afraid of ruining my left eye. 1
| squinted along my gun-barrel so much that my
| face was being drawn out Of shape and ths
sight was go far gone that had to be led about
by my dog" "And you killed Indiaus 10 that
condition." II dd, though 1 have always
felt little mean about it. couldn't see to
shoot and so | run 'em down and kicked 'em
| to death. 1t wasn't manly 10 me, aud | want
to ask your forgiveness, gentlameu right hefe
now." There was loug spell of appalling IL
| lence and then someone said that Eph Francis
had bought new coon dog,