The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-11-30
Observations.

The stove pipe can never be
pipe of peace.
The worst bank to be wrecked on
is one of the savings variety.
The man who writes an illegible
hand never reads his own letters.
''That is the other feNew's bust
ness" he says.
Mrs. Lydia Sherman, the poisO-
ner, has been recsptured. We were
in hopes that she would fascinate
and marry Ben Butler.-Augusta
(Ga,) Chronicle.
A womsn's thought: How men
would be loved if they were only
loyable /; how lovable women would
be if they were only loved.-La Me
Parisienne.
We don't see why the learned pig,
Ben, shouldn't be a good scholar.
All pigs take to square root
naturally, and they are always rails
ed near q pen.
A downtown man who went to
church last Sunday remarked after
ward that he preferred the organ to
the preacher. He said there seemed
to be q stop to the organ.-Nor-
witch Bulletin.
Brigham Young appeared to a
mediHm the other day and remark
ed f.: ''It's pretty hot here, but moth
ing like il was when bought Anne
liza the seal skin sack and left the
rest to turn their last years alpa-
cs."-BrOokville JeffersoRian.
Not long ago they had Sunday
school picnic down at the Cascade,
and the two senior deacons threw o
couple of lemons and a pint of
sugar in the creek, and charged
strangers five cents every time they
took dFink.-Burlington Hawk
eye.
s'Mr. Jones don't you think wo-
men are more sensible than men 2"
asked Miss Smith. And Jones, Of
ter scratching his fayorite bump for
q moment or two said: 'Why, GER
tainly they are-they marry men,
and men only marry women"
Talk about your good boys as you
will, but the lad that put the fire.
crackers in his teachers desk and
touched them of when he is going
to be asked hard question, is the
fell0w that will turn out in future
years to be q self-made man.
A policeman rescued a front
stoop from q belated individual one
night recently. When taken before
the judge the next morning, he said
he had lean on the house, and al
though the policeman agreed with
him, ne was compelled to loan the
judge So.
ale was pretty good at the play
business" said Mr.. Grant, contem.
platively regarding the tomb of
Shakespeare, "but I should like to
have seen him fighting Bob Lee or
trying to be good president with
Charles Sumner chairman OF the
Committee of Foreign Relations"
Rochester Democrat.
"When l die let me be buried
| within the sound of the hammer,
the clang of the workshop, the hum
of the mill, says the candidate in
his speech. And then he goes home
and seats himself in the rocking
chair while his wife carries the coal
out of the cellar to get supper with.
burlington Hawkeye.
If some one should write a book.
1 anu OHAt ~ 0IC6l 4OCs 6OL1G-
bods else would Immediately issue
ssMy Little Toe" followed rapidly
by the second, third and fourth toe,
and probably by other portions of
the pedal anatomy.-Fat Contribu-
tor.
A coHutryman passing over the
Pont Neuf at Paris, and seeing,
among q heap of shops full of mer-
| chandize, that of q banker in which
There was nothing but q man sitting
SC table with pen and ink, had the
curiosity to go in and inquire what
il was he sold. "Asses keads,o re-
piled the banker. They must be in
great request, said the countryman,
''siuce yOnhave only your own left. +"
| A west side clergyman was called
out the other night to minister by
the dying bed of q prominent citi-
zen. sWas he connected with q
savings bank ?" asked the divine.
"He was q trustee" replied the mes
senger. "WelI, there's no use NV
going" said ia.e pastor; astilI, the
mercy of Heaven is Infinite. and
there's no saying-so [ had better
90 through the motions perhaps.