The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1877-03-09

wv W
the mcst admirably organized and best ad
ministered charities on the face ofthc earth
The Decayed Politicians Retreat is, as you
know, beautifully situated on Saline river,
about six miles from hero Boing detained
in this village over yesterday by business,
Il took advantage Of the holiday to drive
thither with friend, and was kindly re-
ceived by the Superintendent, Gen. Butler,
who went 10 good deal oftrouble to show
me the interior workings of the institution.
THE selection of this site was fortunate, /"
said Gen. Butler, as he led the way across
a beautifaaaawu from his private house to
sthe laEge brick hnilding occupied BY the
anniates. t'The lovely natural scenery does
much to soothe disappointment and allay
remorse, and there's always fresh breeze
blowing up Saline river"
care your wards contentcd as general
thipg?"
"Some of them are positively cheerful" !"
said the Superintendent with enthusiasm
"And you, General? After your some
what active career, don't you find it rather
tedious at the Retreat, cooped up with a
party of relics 2"
20, am satisfied" said Gen. Butler,
smiling grimly and shaking the large bunch
OF keys that he carried in one hand
"When Jones of Nevada left all his money
for this object, little more than three
years ago, and the trustees invited me to
tho post of duty, came like man and
patriot. COn,ne .je troupe sir, is my motto"
By this time we had reached the heavy
oaken door at the main hall of the asylum
Our conductor raped smartly with his
: knuckles.
"How many outside ?" asked voice from
within.
''Three," replied Gen. Butler
The door slowly swung open and tall
man with long red beard stood to let us
pass in.
"Good morning. Mr. Ferry" said the
Superintendent, pleasantly, 81 wish you
happy Fourth of July"
"One Two Three!" said Mr.. Ferry in
an impressive voice, telling us off with his
fore-fuger. GAIL right, gentleman, you can
walk in. Oh, good morning, General. 1
wish you great many"
eve keep him here to open the door" "ex-
plained Gen. Butler, "and he imagines he
= has the right to count as we'll as to open
In all other respects he is perfectly harmless,
and SO we humor him little. It's the only
satisfaction+he has in life now"
The General led the way through long
corridor, and as he stopped to unlock a door
IN inmate came up and, touching his cap
asked permission to say few words in pri-
vate.
"Well, speak up, George" said Butler.
"Who has been sitting on you know 2"
eff you please, General" said Boutwell,,
for it was none other than the great but
unapprecated fnancier, "nobody has been
sitting on me, sir. But have solved the
problem at last, and want leave of absence
to go to Washington and lay my solution
before Congress"
"Solved what problem, George ?" asked
the General, winking at us.
"The problem of silver resumptiod, Gen
eral," replied Inmate Boutwell,. "It is very
simple when you see it. Will you permit
me to explain ?"
"I'll give you just minute and half,
George" said the General looking at his
watch.
"You see there are from million
and quarter to million and half teeth
ing children in the United States per-
haps two million. Now every blessed one
of 'em has to have q silver dollar to bite
on. If you pass q law Withdrawing this
immense sum from use In the process of
dentition, silver will flow into the national
Golfers, will find its way into the natural
channels of trade, confidence will be re-
established and"
"All very good, George" interrupted tho
General, "but what is going to become of
the babies? You can't teeth them on green
backs. Don't you see that if you withdraw
their silver dollars, the entire rising gene
ration will be unable to mastioate, conse.
,quently there won't be any market for beef,
corn, or chewing tobacco, and the deuce will
be to pay in trade circles generally. II
won't wash, George"
!; ~ didn't think of that point, General,
said the retired fnancier, taken a little
aback.
"No, George, you didn't,"' continued the
Superintendent. "You had better go tc
your room and think the whole matter ovel
again and when you have devised some
way of obviating the difficulty spoke of
why then we'll talk about leave Of absence
to go to Washington"
"Now," continued the General, as Inmate
Boutwell, moved rather ruefully away, "Pl
show you our oldest case, the centenarian o
tho establishment" We entered littl
room, in the centre Of which, bent over
table, sat person ofextreme age, attire.
in a rusty swallow tail Soat. He was writ
. ing diligently and without cessation, 90,