The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-01-12
Miscellaneous
How She Sm uggled.

wen, well, saiu sne, ~ 10 my uu's W
obey you, even If do not like the duty on
lace"
But did not like the impression of her
face, she looked altogether too happy to suit
me too happy for a woman blighted in the
hope Of shawls at half price, and gloves at
quarter of the cost, did not feel that con-
hdence 10 her that should wish to feel on
all occasions in wife, at that moment
freely confess.
But packed her trunk myself and saw
there was nothing contraband in it, and
even superintended her toilette. was pres
ent on that occasion alluded to in the papers
when an English lady, who had just been re-
leased from the inquisition of the French
custom house officers, suddenly struck
o twelve; and being taken back again was
found to have concealed an elegant clock
about her crinolne | did not desire that
any such modification should occur in my
family.
Elizabeth had nothing about that was sus-
ricious.
81. II shall take nothing with me that
brong'.t here" she said, but poor Pug Poor
Pug! I'll take him home"
Now Pug was very small poodle who
had died few weeks before. And l started
pug" said I. "You seem to have for
gotten that Pug is dead"
"No don't said she. 81 have the poor
creature stuffed"
"Peculiar taste," said.
'It may be said she, "But loved Pug.
And, dear. I'll put new band on your hat
before we start, that is so rusty"
vas wearing Grape for my uncle who had
left me a legacy, and 1t was certainly not
very fresh.
"And your overcoat needs button or
two," said she.
Certainly had a careful wife and
kissed her.
81 wish conld let you do what you
pleesed," I said. "But should not love
thee, dear, so well, loved not honor more
can't defrsud my country"
And 30 left her to pay our bill. When
returned the coat was on the chair, but.
tons all perfect. A new band adorned my
hat, and stuffed Pug on chair wanted to
be carried.
You shall take him, DEAR" said my wife.
He always loyed you"
can't say rejoiced over my burthen,
but could not be so disobliging rs to say
no.
Thus we left Canada.
We passed the officers with bright records
and went upon our way. How proud was.
How happy! Blogg and his wife were with
us-a lace shawl was found on Mrs. Blogg;
Bivins' two daughters had smuggled silk.
looked about me with an air of conscious
rectitude. Let people smile that I bore
with me our stuffed Pug--our late lamented
poodle. Better that than gloves that had
escaped duty; lace that had been smuggled
velvets that were about half stolen. never
felt that honesty is the best policy and virtue
Its own reward before.
When we reached home seated myself
In my arm chair, and thus addressed Mrs.
Smith:
Elizabeth said /, "now you see how good
my advice was DON'T you feel happier,
better than though in some degree you were
Q malefactor? l know you had the bad ex-
ample of Mrs. Bloggs and the Misses Bivins
too but you did not suceumb. That was
we'll, Elizabeth. approve of you. You
delight me. You are the woman spoken of
In the Bible who is crown and treasure TO
her husband. ! should not say this to you
II you had smuggled anything"
mo, dear" said she, "but didt you smag.
gle even the least little thing
ST." cried I.
"Not one?" said she.
"Indeed no. said l. 81 am not such
hypocrite."
"You might have pu, something under
your hat band said she.
I laughed.
She reached for the hat, took her scissors
fiom her pocket, and quietly unrpped the
sewing silk. OF fell the band and under It
was something white.
"Ten yards of lace as livew said Eliza.
beth unrollipg it.
What does this mean," cried.
II want to know myself" said Elizabeth,
taking up my coat "Now in this lining
you might hide so much.
She began to rip. stared speechlcssly.
Out came lacesssleeves, lace collars, cravats,
bsrbes and don't know what.
Sand you wouldn't let me smnggle any
thing" said she.
/ arose from my chair and walked the
floor.
This is intolerablel said /.
'To think you should be such humbug,"
said she.
Then she took Pug in her arms.
"Poor Pug have you smugged some
thing too?' said she.
was prepared for anything by this time.
and as she plunged her scissors into pugs
heart, l only groaned,
"The taxidermist has stuffed kid gloves
and two sets of jewelry, and some velvet
ribbon" said she. "What a shame, my
dear. / did not smuggle anything; but
you-oh, how you have cheated the ofiicer,w
II was no use raving. | had smuggled
Innocently, it is true, but was still SNUG
gler. And since then | have never tried TO
prevent any woman from doing what she
desires in the smuggling line. You might
Is Well try to keep the moon from rising, il
they are all like my Elizabeth, and think
they are.-N Y. Ledger.
ATExAN's WoNDERFULT TRACEs-A Tex.
an, visiting this point, gathered around him
tome of our citizens on Monday, and enter
sained them with some of his experiences in
the Lone Star State. Ont incident told by
him is as follows: