davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

Some spiritualists in Salt Lake tried
to naterialize the spirit Of Brigham
Young the other night but failed.
They possibly looked in the wrong
place.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

We shall know in a few days what
Mr.. Conkling means to do about it.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

The color of the beautiful blue
Danube is remarkable like the feelings
of the Russians.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

We should like to have a good,
sound Republican opinion of Ohio.
What has the st. Louis Journal to say
about It?
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

The Buckeyes don't believe in fraud
even If one of their own favorite sons
gets the benefit of It.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

Men about to be hung regard
themselves as pretty well settled in
life.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

Mr.. West was unable to see his wav
to Columbus. This comes of being a
blind man.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

The administration will stand by its
policy. Gin spite of my lord Conk-
ling"
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

1t was left for Miles to capture the
hostiles. This must be sad news for
Howard,
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

Maud Muller doesn't improve the
beauty of Genevieve Rogers a bit.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16
Telling Stories to q Corpse

Virginia City Chronicle.
At a few minutes past IL o'clock
last night Thomas Fitzgerald. an old
resident of this city, was found seated
in a chair in James killeen's saloon,
on South G street, dead. A number
of persons were about him. conversing
and telling stories, and the discovery
of his death was made when some one
asked him q question which he did not
answer.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

The medium of the future will ma
terialize spirits who can vote.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

How many Belle Boyds are there,
any way. The one up in Maryland
calls the one down in Texas q fraud.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

There is no law in Missouri which q
road Overseer is bound to respect.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

1t is no trouble to capture an UNI
brella. The difficulty is to keep it.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

1t was spontaneous combustion
which afflicted the Ohio Republicans.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16
DON'T GET THEM MINED.


Those whose sympathies are with
the Russians should read Russian re-
ports only, and those who ''sile with"
the Turks should shuu Russian reports.
By 20 doing each party will be pleased
all the time. Do you comprehend!
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16
THE LOUISIANA QUESTION.

Ii is said an effort will he made In
settle the disputes respecting the
Louisiana AMI South Carolina >ena-
torships in summary manner when
congress meets. The plan Is To move
that Spo.icrd. Eusiis and Butler he
sworn i'm, whenever the motion To-
admit Stanley Matthews. Don Cameron
and Armstrong Is made. and it Is be-
lieved there are enough Republican
senator's, anxious to avoid Il debate on
the Louisiana case who will Vote for
this motion. to make majority with
the Democratic vote.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

A fast horse is not generally consid-
cred disreputable animal.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16
00nf0o0'S n0Dle0l E

NArARRH il disesse ofthe mucous membrsne.
= Iempsr.n,enis and CONSTITUTIONS vary q. Ssver.
coid or asuccess,on Of coils. rom sudden eSsaae
Of .inospheIe. wearing wet clothing. 9, expoeafe
er inactive eondisicn and the sirenssn and Wal
feSeI Measles. and piehsss ia, IN .hics e.sss the
s' q mse S ss
nose. the dssinctive feature In all cases
~Ssery and % scia - to ;e@ns.S - snd e.cc
Ration Of the skin With which they come In con.
9: sns . ss 81 s'
may Be an entire lax Of sserctson ne s9sacee De,
o9tSe aesd sssinS aneemseri.Sie. :sd = B vs.
sSs,sssS n 1 s band % 1:sss
eSs:s.s cause s"s passss to :xs; ae sSd Ssscms
sSisssnsd 'sndc.nE e's.hirS shrSrsn ne Ho;s
nsccsssrS TO Ssrsiic through the mouth. thereby
Permitting air To directly 70 the bronchial
sss: eas ss ss s s9 :.a :a
Ieet0rnee 70 throw v on: but when the mernbraDe
e% ss and s cs s"r
nd io.o into scsns incrnss.slones nd hard
sde 2.,f r.: S1 z I'M
sseIsssa h more q r.. quantity The sse si:o
6eeo@ee serio.sly affected: di.charFinx qusnsi,ies
nos. sIcsrssioa. md ns,iy dssfsess. The snIoss.
sous re. :aDs,sdas. such ssesis"s Sseo@s
q eEisls Exsy Of THIS mosssertou disesss vans
snveocSfa1ctsd with e 20 nsks speedy prepere-
Crl1 Vs confidently believe arc 70 be found IN no
ssy :.s
salcn,sssd g meet s,ssy pns;s Of the dsssse ne
United Stafee affcsS the esteem in HIGH IL n held
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

The war correspondents haven't sent
along that decisive battle vet.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16
FOENEY AND GRANT.

1t Is sometimes difficult to tell
beforehand just how a man may sue
coed in establishing a good character
with the Democracy. There was
Forney, who had had enough bad
names to hang him, until he came for
ward to charge Grant with inaccuracy
in his recolleciions of summer. and at
once Forney became gentleman of
high character and unimpeachable
integrity.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

Handsome horse thieves are gener-
orally taking fellows.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

The Workingmen are evidently not
appreciated in Ohio.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

A man who steals horse strives for
hemp-tie hOnors.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16
JUST PUBLISHED.

u eAtefeny revised Ireafise on Catarfh. With an
accurate description Ofsymptoms aud aympaihctic
diseases. together with minute for effect
hG With SANyORD's RADICAL CrER . speedy and
permanent cure. Also ohservat; ions on diet and tho
general health, OF vast Importance to all anltcted
With catarrh- IL - wrapped about each bottle OF
the RADloAL CrE4. or Will be mailed free on re-
eeips Of scamp.
Each p0ekaGe Of SANrorD's RADICAL CrHD con
enlne Dr.. SanfOrd's Improved InhAlng Tube, with
lall directions for use In MI Price. o. Sold
~ al wholesale and rrtail arugEtses through
out the United States and Canada WEEKS .
POTTER. General Agents and wholesals Drug
gisea, Boston. Mass.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16
THE SENATORIAL ENDORSEMENT.
-. l.o;ti~ Journal.

Twenty-one Of the State Democratic
papers disapprove Of the appointment
Of Armstrong as senator. and nineteen
approve it. We note that among the
latter are what are regarded rs the
leading papers Of the party.
DON'T GET THEM MIXED.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

Mr.. Jules Simon's carbuncle makes
all Paris boil.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

There's nothing stew-pendous in
oysters Oh ice.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

Silver won't make money any hard.
er-to get.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

The temperance convention was
quite q success.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

Long suffering and bedeviled Ohio.
is free again.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16

The next thing out, THAT Baby Of
Nine"
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16
A PERTINENT rNVrIEY.

Will those who demand n large
army please inform an anxious public
what has become of the army that we
are supposed To have2 The author
ize,l army numbers $4,000 men. but
not more than a third If that army
can he accounted for. in any useful
employment. Have we an army q.
5000 men. If So. where l. that
army. and what is il doing?
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-10-16
sPRINGFIEIDs LIBEIALITY.

Springfield seems bound to have a
Kansas CITY railroad connection.
Thirteen IF her citizens subscribed
s13, 900 recently. to aid in construct
inga road from Springfield to Green
field (which will connect with our road
when built, and ask tiat the work be
pushed forward Immediately. They
are not dead in the shell at Springfield.
Don't YOU forget it.
CIVIL. SERVICE REFORM.
&c. Mail.
The boss Of the agricultural bureau
has dismissed ten clerks. not because
they were inefficient, but because
reorganization was in progress. and it
was decided to have new instead Of old
seeds. Civil service reform is ut the
bottom Of it all.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1877-11-16
Cultivate Family Affection.
Col. Robert Ingersoll.

| can imagine no condition that car
ries, with it such promise Of Joy as the
farmer in the Autumn, with his cellar
full, with every preparation made for
the winter, with the prospect of three
months of comfort and rest three months
of fireside and content, three months of
home and family, three months of pure,
solid comfort Makes your houses COM
Portable Do not huddle together in
little room around red hot stove, with
every window fastened down. Do not
live in this poisoned air, and then when
one of your children dies put piece in
the paper commencing with, Whereas,
it has pleased Providence to remove
from our midst" Have plenty of air
and plenty of warmth. Let your chill
dren sleep. Do not drag them from
their beds in the darkness There is no,
happiness in house not filled with love;
where the man hates the wife, or the
wife the husband; where children fear
their parents, or where parents dislike
their children. Every such home is SIM
ply hell upon earth. There is no rea-
son why farmers should not be refined
and kind There is nothing in the culti-
vation of the soil to make men cross,
Grabbed and unjust. To look upon sun
ny slopes covered with daisies, does not
tend to make men cruel. Whoever la
bors for the happieness of those he loves
elevates himself; no matter whether he
works in the shop or plows in the per-
fumed fields.
In conclusion, let me say to farmers,
do all you can to make your business
attractive.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1877-11-16

Then he said slowly and very softly, as
if speaking to himself
There's the brake racket, now"
The what racket"
The brake racket. But don't be-
leeve ye could manage that"
| might try"
Yeas (sneeringly), yc might try to
walk that wire up thar (pointing to the
telegraph, but yed slip up; ye couldn't
do it. Howsumever, I'll tell ye all about
it, an then We can try it if We like-no,
LII show 1T to ye--come along"
He arose, passed out, and the newly
dedged tramp followed him. Standing
on sidc-track was an empty car. He
passed to the rear, took hold of the bolt
which connects the handle of the brake
with the chain, placed one foot on the
little iron protection near the base, and
left the other swinging in the air. Then
he leaned as far back as his arm would
allow, and his head was thus brought
below the level Of the dashboard. Hav-
ing thus exempli6ed the mechanical
part OF the operation, he stepped down
and proceeded to dilate upon the details
OF the racket"
{" Now, We see, when the train starts.
the cop comes to the door and looks out
on the platform for tramps, ye're hang
in on here so he can't see We. He goes
on and gets his tickets, an ye swings
yerself round on the steps. When he
gifts out of the car We gifts in, sits down
and snoozes off like any other gentle
man. Yell git to Winnemucca afore he
comes round ag in an then We must come
the racket agin. | know feller that
went clear through from Frisco to Oma-
ha on this racket without stoppin'; but
its rough on the arms. Sumtimes yell
hev to hang on an hour or two before
the cop goes through. and there amt no
fun in it.
At this moment the whistle of an APP
preaching train was heard in the dis
tance.
p" BY there she comes!" he ex-
claimed, and started on dead run for
the house. He awakened his compan-
ions from their drunken slumbers. One
vigorous kick utterly demolished the lit
tie house, and the tramps scrambled
behind the water-t tank to make prepara-
tions to jump the train.
What ye goin' to do?" asked one of
the apprentice tramp.
I'm goin to try the brake-racket."
Wa-al, it's dangerous, but I like
your spunk. Go it, young feller. You'll
make good 'un.'
When the train had gone the four
tramps had disappeared. They had
jumped her by means of some one of
their many ''rackets." The apprentice,
however, remained stationary on the
platform. An hour later he boarded the
est-bound emigrant train, paid his fare
to Reno, and rode with as much comfort
as one can while inhaling the odor of
Limberger cheese and sauer-kraut. Ar
rived in Reno he crossed to the hotel,
divested himself of the miners suit of
which he had borrowed at the
Consolidated Virginia, arrayed himself
in purple and fine linen, and stood re-
vealed as your very humble correspond
ent.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1877-11-16
Some Account Of q Tornado.
Chicago Times.

A natural scientist and amateur sig
nal-service observer went down so Mount
Carmel the other day, armed with por-
tentous list of questions concerning the
natural history and habits of tornadoes.
Accosting prominent citizen, whose
property had been dispersed over several
Congressional districts, he asked him, in
the high and holy name Of science, from
what direction the tornado approached,
its rate OF velocity, its shape, whether
the current Of cloud revolyed in the
same direction as the hands OF watch,
and several other questions of q similar
nature. The citizen of Mount Carmel
gazed upon him for few moments, spat
refectively upon his hands, pulled of mis-
coat. and replied:
Stranger, if you had been sitting on
your front stoop and suddenly seen g
brazen, fierce whirlwind seeoting along
like fast-mail train which was year
behind time, and the next thing you
knew your wife was sailing over the
Third Presbyterian Church, and your
house ha6 taken to itself wings and flown
into the uttermost parts of the earth, yoa
wouldn't be such an irrietrieyable by
and-large idiot as to go and ask whether
things few around from left to right, or
vice versa
So he fell upon the scientist, and when
that scientist got nome and his wife
opened the door for him, she exclaimed
"Oh, Eliakin, there has been another
tornado and you got caught in it y
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1877-11-16

l saw these same men Yesterday work
in zelusly for the Dimekratic or Repub-
likin tikkets, and afore the eleckshun
they he'd bin most industrusly standin
on the corners NV the street, smokin
very cheap cigars when they had to buy
EN- themselves, and very expensive ones
when they wuz bought by other people.
Are yoO goin to take these people
I'M" | shrieked in agony. Cant VOC
see that ther amt offises enuff to 20
around?"
Sir" exclaimed they all fiercely, "in
this holy croosade agin cappytle, and
for the horny handed toilers, we assert
ther is ofises enuff. There wuz about
1000 votes; and we, who from circum-
stances didn't git in soon enuff to vote
will swell the number to 5000. Very
good. Let the Sheriff-elect immeiitly
appint $500 deppyties, and the Treas
urer-elect stand up for the rites NV the
laborin man by appointin $500 clerks,
and then keep out Of the organizashen
the bloatid bankers, merchants and them
ez own shops and sich, so that we kin
tax them to pay our salaries We shell
keep out enuff cappytle to tax to sup
port us. Cappytle hez he'd its sway, SO
far-nOw labor comes in
And they votid to keep the books
open till 8 that day and then close EN-.
Their didn't any more come thank hevin.
The party is strong enuff to hold the
city, but, merciful hevins! onless the Sc
jestion l hev quoted is acted onto, what
are they all going to do? They kin elect
Council next spring, and that Coun-
Gil kin vote to pay the laborers $3.50 a
day, but they won't take that. Ez they
all expect offs, wat good will it be to
offer 'em work at any price?
| sympathize with the labrin man. list
afore every eleckshun, but | think |
shell git out Of the organizashcn and 90
back to Kentucky where there amt any
labor done that hurts Their is too eyer
an appreshiashen NV offs to make it
comfortable for man like me, and the
ranks Nv the labrin men are likely to be
swelled too fast for any purpus Wat
chance is ther for one man among 5000,
and all Nv them ez keen ez | am?
The tcmperens movement is heyin a
run up ther, but 1 Indignantly refoozed
to jine it. | wuz askt to deliver tenn
prense lecter, but | declined
" I'm not reformed drunkard,' sed |.
" That's easily fixed" remarked the
rekestcr. ''All 700 hev to do is to quit
L heered one man make speech on
the street corner.
Rum, like the grassehopper," sed he,
" is a burden. / went home last night,
and went to the pantry for suthin to eat,
and it wuz bare. looked at my wife
and children and there they sot, cold
and hungry. Their wuz no food, no foo
el in the house-what shood hev provid-
ed for EN- had gone for rum. Ez
looked into ther pale, pinched faces, and
ther emasheated forms, awakened con-
shense strove with me, and l then and
there took solemn oath never to drink
again-onless [ wuz asked
The eleckshun in Ohio is triumph,
but it don't do me any good. Their
amt no way of reaching my Postoffis for
three years, and | can't wait. | shell be
in the silent tomb before that. and the
worms will be at me. Still I did my
dooty. PETROLEUM V. Nasty,
WorlinUman
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1877-11-16

To make puff pastry. use only the
very best butter, sifted -four and ice-wa-
ter. A marble slab is better than any
thing else to roll pastry on. # you do
not possess one, hard, smooth board
will answer, and il should be used for nc
other purpose. One pint Of -four, one
half pound OF best butter, the yolk Of
one egg, one gill Of ice-water. Mix ths
-four, one tablespoonful OF the butter,
the wellbeaten yolk and the ;ce-water
into paste. Flour your pastry board
and roll ont the crust very thin; then
spread on part Of the remaining butter,
fold up the paste butter-side in, sprinkle
little more -four on The Doarc, and roll
out again. Repeat this until the Dctser
is all used up. at the last, rcli very
thin and set it in q very ccol place fof
ten or fifteen minutes before making mp.
Az soon as taken from the oven, an6
while bot, haste it over with beaten egg:
IN II HMee, S. AS.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1877-11-16
NOVEMBER.

nf JAMES H. CLARK
Zone Of the most beautiful and touching DO
ems ever written on the month of November
is the following gem by James G.. Clark, thu
poet, singer and author of "FremOnt's Battle
Hymn" &c.-N. Y. Refo,m.l
The red sun gathers up his beams,
To bid the withered earth farewell
And voices from the swelling streams
Are ringing with the evening bell;
The cold lake sobs with restless grief,
Where late the water lilies grew,
While autumn fowl, and autumn leaf,
Are sailing down the rivers blue.
Forsaken are the woodland shrines,
The robin and the wren have fed,
And winds are waiing through the pines,
A dirge for summers glorious dead;
Fen man fOrsakes his daily strife,
And muses. on the bright things flown,
AS If in Natures changing life,
He saw the picture of his own.
often think at this sad hour,
AS evening weeps her earliest tear,
And sunset gilds the naked bower.
And waves are breaking cold and clear,
OF that glad time, whose memory dwells
Like starlight DER life's cloudy weather,
When side by side we rOved the dells
Of proud New England's coast together.
Twas on old Plymouth's rock-famed shore,
One calm November night with thee,
watched the long light trembling DER
The bfllOws of the eastern sea;
The weary day had sunk to rest
Beyond the line Of leafleSs wood,
And guardian clouds from south to west,
Arrayed in hues of crimson stood.
We climbed the hill of noble graves,
Where the stern patriarchs of the land
Seemed listening to the same grand waves
That freed them from tn OppressOr's hand;
We talked of spirits pure and kind,
With gentle forms and loving eyes,
OF happy homes we left behind,
In wales beneath the western skies
few brief days-and when the earth
Grew white around the travellers feet,
And bright fires blazed on every hearth,
We parted never more to meet
Until go where thou art gone.
From this dark world of death and blight,
And walk with thee above the sun
That sank upon thy grave tonight
hear the muffied tramp of years
Come stealing up the slope of Time;
They bear a train of smiles and tears.
OF burning hopes and dreams sublime;
But future years may never fling
A treasure from their passing hours,
Like those that come on sleepless wing,
From memOry's golden plain of flowers.
The morning breeze of long ago
Sweeps over my brain with soft co,trol,
Fanning the embers of a glow,
Amidst the ashes round my soul;
And by the dim and Pickering light,
] see thy beauteous form appear.
like one returned from wanderings bright
To bless my lonely moments here.