The Centre reporter. [volume] (Centre Hall, Pa.) 1871-1940, 1877-02-22
Ilen. of Intere.l.


better than all the " Heaven pity the
poor poems ever written.
The Lowell C0uricr says when a man
IA elected mayor he naturally hiaks he
iH getting Hon. in the world.
II IL estimated that not lesa than TO-
600. 600 trees have been set out Ia
Minnesota during the past year.
The Los Angeles Hcrad says that
southern California needs farmers and
money, And not helpless clerks.
An exchange says that money is SO
tight that We actually believe it must
wear corsets OF corset does.
Yes. il was true about that shower Of
snakes NJ Memphis, but the men who
drink the hardest saw the largest snakes.
Sweet are the uses Of adversely. A
cross eyed schOolmarIa cln keep twice the
usual number Of children IN order az
once.
The man with an ulster, q PAIR oi
boots and a Nhirt collar can wear otha
clothes, but they are not absolutely nee
essary.
Judge Hoar once said of q lawyer
He hAs reached the superlatiye of life
AT first he sought 30 get on, and then he
sought 20 get honor, and nov lac Is trying
10 get honest.
4 young woman in Rochester, y. T.
has sued for damages "a man who kissed
her A man who can't kiss 8 woman
without damaging her ought 10 pay for
iis nwllEaniness.
The Minnesota farmers have taken
hold a. the business of planting trees Ia
earnest OyeI ten millions of cuttings
were sei out dunng the past year, most
% which are doing wen.
A sign IN a neighboring city reads
A." HiciTe nuts for sails. An intelligent
old gentleman 6ays he doesn't see any
joke in il. except tilai the fellow has
spelt "nuia with one {.
A female preacher is said 10 be writing
q 50 Commentary on the Life 0f Joshua.
Il is reported that she win observe that
Joshua was successful with the sun. bat
he never commanded the daughter 70 be
still
II was year ago that a pretty young
bride begun 81 follow tine occasional re-
cipes for cooking that have appeared in
this journal, and with Euch siiooess that
she has Just married her second hus-
band
Eternity, past and future flashed be-
fore my eyes, be said, . and ] saw
where the crack of doom began and end
al This Was his experience the FIRST
time base ball siruck him il the
stomach
The same thing under different cir
cumstancea may produce different re-
suits. Many lover kisses and wears Oh
his heart as a priceless treasure the same
lock Of hair that IA his soup he would
regard with loathing.
An Alabama paper Says the well-iO-d0
privntes of the late war take great com
fort in seeing hery generals, colonels
and majors oi ether days nOw selling
peanuts, drawing beer or in other ways
making 4 humble living.
MY son" sid ", kindly. 81 his
Youthful heir, " accusiom yourself 10
be polite 10 the porter, the servant girl,
the ooachman, 30 all the servants +. TINS
vou will come In time 90 be courteous 90
all people. even 70 your parents.
Horace Greeley said that of the thoU-
sands he lent the most he ever received
back was q Eve dollar note inclosed in a
letter. and upon tracing ont the writeref
TIE letter he found Il came from lunatic
in the Utica asylum who never owed him
a cent.
Scene from the schoolroom. Teacher:
" Nov, who was the oldest man mention
ea ia the Scriptnresg" Young scholar: :" /
dunno Who wrs tile cove 2" Teacher:
why, Methusalah he was over vine
hundred years old. Scholar: Golly,
what lot Of centennial shows he must
have seen
Thanks aud a thousand 81 them 10
that unknown genius who intrusted
trunk. with a hive Of bees in Il, % the
tender mercies 81 a Syracuse baggage
master. the other DAY. The company
viii nav for the bees. and the doctor
thinks his patient viii be around again
in a fortnight or 50.
The bride a. q wedding srecently ceie-
brated in Wareham, Mass, Was first
cousin of the hridegroom's deceased first
wife. one Of the bridesmaids was daugh-
ter ol the bride aud wife Of one Of tho
groons. who was q son uf tie bride
groom. while the other bridesmaid was
a daughter Of the groom and wife Of
son IL the bride.
THAT story is salty. said Browns
eldest sou. as Brown read the latest
news on the Eastern question at the
breakfast table the other morning.
How -. my son = inquired Brown,
ii came bv cable. Well. hasn't II
l,assed through the oceans brine ?" an
sweled the hopeful. Brown left at once
for his Office down town
Il is said Of the Rev. Phillips Brooks,
one Of the most popular Episcopal clergy
men Of Boston, that on one Christmas
day he received twenty-six pairs Of slip
pers. and that he Is the one of whom II
is said he has two barrels in ms studio,
and when ladies' bring him their offerings
nf slippers, he saws " Lets in that bar
rel. madam rights in this. :
A man named John q. Dawes left
Kern River, Cal, recently with 1000
sheep Far the north. While crossing the
alkali lands lands near Tulare lake he
camped for the night, and in the morning
whelt he awoke he saw his sheep all lying
down but one, and on examination found
that there was but that one alive. They
had all quietly died in the night
A Connecticut bean sent telegram to
his girl, who was in New York. wishing
her Merry Christmas, bHt omitted
10 pay the charge 1t cost her twenty
Ave cents 70 find that she was remember
ed, and in her gratitude she expressed
him package containing several coal
chunks. which cost him fifty-tive cents
TO get. He is carrying his confectionery
20 n new place now.
The evidence is accumulating that the
Ashtabula horror was caused by tram
wreckers for plunder. The body of
one man was certainly robbed Of $1,000
in money. and other bodies were de-
spoiled Of watches and jewelry. One
wounded man, in climbing the bank,
was knocked senseless by two rutians,
who robbed him of watch and money.
Other similar cases are reported by sur
vivors.
An advocate went 10 visit his client,
who was in prison, waiting to be tried on
charge of robbery The prisoner, in
describing his case and protesting his en-
tire innocence, was overcome with emo
ton, and wept piteously. At the end of
the interview, rs the advocate was leav-
ing the cell, he turned round and, hold
ing the handle Of the door, remarked,
naively, to the prisoner: "Above all,
don't forget to cry like that when you