The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1877-05-19
BRIEFLETS.

Senator Thomas II. Benton used
to say that he liked to drink his tea
from cup that lady had washed.
An Allegheny merchant has stuck
up the sign, " In God we trust all
others cash."
The Port Chester Journal pretends
TO believe that the blind can dstin.
guish colorS especially blind mans
buff.
What Is the difference between a
Christian and a cannbal One enjoys
himself, and the other enjoys other peo-
pie.
Many a man has started on the
road to the poor-house behind his first
trottlng horse with $25 dog under the
wagon.
Three ladies were put up at rattle
In Kansas City, but when their photo
graphs were exhibited it put stop to
the sale of tickets.
-" Give me a fifth story room, next
the skylght, SO can get out one way
at least" said traveller as he register
ed his name at city hotel.
-" am astonisbed, my dear young
lady, at your sentiments you make
me start" Well have been want.
ing you to start for the last hour"
Mr.. Gudgeon-" Oh, 1 say, now,
Miss Ada, you are fishing for compli
ment." Miss MacAngle-" Oh dear
no, never fish in shallow waters ~
And now the glt-edged handker
chief is the latest agony of swelldom.
Nhn oHna 1nnpt incf q,
boys coat pocket on the port side.
Somebody advertises in one of the
Westield papers for a servant girl "who
would not be above placing herself on
an equality with the rest fthe family"
During the past winter it is esti-
mated that in Western Texas 200, 900
bison have been killed for their hides,
and the carcaSeS left to rot on the
ground.
"A boy in Montgomery, Ala, lie.
Gently jumped into the river and drown
I'D himself rather than be whipped by
his mother, who was pursuing with that
intent.
"A countryman who has been visit
Ing the city says that if it is as hard
work getting into heaven as it is get
ting into some of the city churches he
shall be sorry.
--Gildersleeve is going to publish a
book on How to shoot" Then If
some gifted Treasury girl will only
write supplement on "Who to shout"
the world will be satisfied.
"A Pittsburg paper says Kate Clax-
ton may feel perfectly safe in any
hotel hereafter by registering her name,
on reading which all the other bOarders
will sit up to put out the fIe.
The man who has been obliged to
borrow his winters wood from his
neighbor's pile feels a tranquil calm
steal over him as he realizes that his
hard work in Juggling the sticks will
soon be over.
"A girl wrote to her lover 4" Now,
George, don't you fale to be at the sing
ing school to night" George wrote
back that I" in the bright lexicon of
youth Webster's Unabridged there's
no such word as fale."
1t is mentioned as singular fact
that Solomon never laughed, and was
very melancholy man. 1t should be re-
membered, however, that he had 900
wives to advise him what to do when
he had sore throat.
"A couple OF Irishmen were passing
gate upon which somebody had
chalked the legend I" Cave Canem >"
Phat's that ?" asked one. That"
returned the other that's Frinch,
an 1t names A Hurruld man lives
here
"A Newcastle man at a London
restaurant had called for the bill, paid
1t, and was leaving when the waiter
suggested that the amount did not in
elude the waiter. Ah," said the
man FROM the north, but aa didn't
eat the waiter"
-" 1t seems to me, said customer
to his barber, "that in these hard times
you ought To lower your price for shay
ing" Can't do it, replied the bar
Der. " Nowadays everybody wears
such long face that We have a great
deal more surface 10 shave over.''
"A Nashville bank roLber burrow-
ed under a street for hve days, and at
length came up in "A cOal vault Of IL beer
saloon three doors away from the bank,
aud was bitten in eleven places by the
most uncumpIomsing dog he ever tried
TO cOrciliate. The next time he tries
any mining operations lie wiz take q
practical engineer along.