West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1877-09-15
Witty and Wise.


The world isgoverned by three things
wisdom, authority for rough people. and
appearance for superficial people.
Very few in the world have their
passions adequately occupied; almost
everybody has ii in them to be better than
they are.
In this world there is one thing god
like; the essence of all that ever was or
ever will he godlikc i'm this world--thc
Nencration TO human worth 10y the hearts
of men.
MORNING GLORY.
Wondrous intcrlaccmcnti
Holding fast 10 threads, by grcen anI silky rims,
with the dawn :, sircid, its white aud purple
Generous in its bloom, aud shel,crius while I,
clings,
Sturdy morning glory.
Creeping through the easement.
Slantinr To the floor, la dusty shining hcams
Dancing ON the door, In quick fantastic CLEANS.
Comes the new days light and pours ia lidcless
Golden morning glory.
In the lonely btseh,ehl,
,Soykng IA the sun the haby's cradle stands;
Now the little one thrusS out its rosy hands
soon her eyes will open; then i'm all the lands
No such morning gloryl
Scoil not ut the natural defects of any
which are not i'm their power To amend.
o, ii is cruel To beat cripple with his
own crutches - Fuller.
The aggregate happiness of society
which is best promoted 10y the practice
of virtuous policy, is or ought To
bc the end of all government Wash
ingtoH.
Many judge rashly only for the
pleasure they take To discourse, and
make conjecturcs of other mems man
ners by way of exercising their wits
he Sales
Mrs. MuloclS-Craik has written some
verses about "Whcn man comes
home" She says. "Whrn man comes
home let him enter smiling" To which
the Norristown HTdd rejoins: But
pretty often he has smiled 30 much be
fore he comes home that it is almost inn
possible for him to enter at ALL"
Take away your Spartan boy and his
fox. The lad who puts lighted cigar
In his pocket when he meets his father.
and tells what the Sunday y-school teacher
said, while the cigar is burning him, il
infinitely more worthy of admiration
Nj. Thicrs, who is now over eighty
years of age, still shares with his left
hand.-Er. A Federal Street man, too,
is also peculiar in this way. lie is now
an old man, over eighty watermelon sea-
sons have fitted over his head. but
he shaves with a r. Camdcn Post.
Pittsburg TeJcgrdph: The Arabian
arch@ologists claim that they have dis
covered the grave of Eve, and state that
she must have been about three hundred
feet tall. And yet Adam, poor man. has
been blamed for eating the apple when
she requested him TO.
How very odd that poets should suppose
There rs no pOctr.f about nose,
When plain as a mans nose upon his face
A noseeSs face would lack poetic gTaCc
why, what would b. the fragrance OF a rose,
Ana where would be the mortal means OF telling
whether vile or wholesome odOT flows
Around us, If We owned no sense Of smelng2
Meath starry eyes, DER ruby lips II grows
Beauty Is in its form, and music In It's blowsi
Boy said gentleman TO the hostlcr
of hotel on alighting from his phaeton,
" extricate that quadruped from the
vehicle, stabulate him, donate him an
adequate supply of nutritious ailment,
and when the aurora of morning shall
again illuminate the oriental horizon
will award thee pecuniary compensa-
tion for thine ~ Bic hospitality" The
boy ran into the house and told his
master that a Dutchman wanted TO see
him.
Norristown Hcrdd: A "society for
the mental improvement of cat" has
been formed i'm Belgium. This is a good
move. Teach cat that it is an cxhibi-
ton OF bad manners and ill-breeding to
sit on back fence and sing the Star
Spangled Banner" until an hour after
midnight, or discuss the Presidents
Southern policy with several OF its
friends until the same hour, and the rain
of bOotjacks, shaving-cups, profanity,
empty bottles and such things from sec
ond and third-stOTy windows will inn
mediately cease.
A San Francisco huckster bought n
mule at auction for one hundred and
forty dollars. After trying for three
days to put his harness ON from secopd-
story window, the owner resold il for
fourteen dollars. on long time. and
under the title of "Sara, the High
Kicker"
Austia New RerciHc: In the RerciYe
reporters wanderings about town last
night he heard lady, talking across the
street TO a neighbOr, thus deliver herself
on the subject Of scandal "Of all
things ] do hate in this world it's q
scandalizing woman. Now there's Mrs.
Jingletongue, that everybody knows
isn't bit better than she ought to be.
and whose two daughters cut up 80
shameful that no decent woman ought TO
speak to them, and whose husband gets
drunk. and they do say ne owes for that
grenadine she puts on so many airs in
over her betters IF ] was 10 say any
mean things about people like she does
] would pull my tongue out by the
roots, the nasty, scandalizing, stuck up
old cat"
Cramming.
II aupcars that Hogfou IL not tho cr,t.,