, 1877-08-19


4 Chicago man Travelled all the way from this
city to South America to the mouth OF the
Amazon River in order to get OF the following
Joke, viz: .<3This Is most Amazon 6lghtl''
Unfortunately ali the people on board OF the
.teamer were spaniards, who did not understand
thinks OF coming home, organizing IN cxcur:
sion, and touching off the joke at the mouth OF
the Chicago River.
4 bashful young man the other day observed
to his inamorata that it would be pleasant could
kindred souls seek the umbrageons shade Of th7
pcllucid groves, and there commune-but, be-
lore he could concludch sentence, the author OF
Ills inamorata's being, who Was sitting in the
back parlor, hoisted him out into the silent
night with his horny foot, remarldng that no
Communist could spark his daughter except
over his dead body.
Mis-. II. II. b. writes to TIE TRIBUNE long
communication in regard to James O'Neill, the
little lad who swung the bridge over the South
Branch Oh Halsted street, wien the mob had
aurned it in order that no relief could come to
the police. She thinks Jimmy saved the police
force from annihilation and the city from ruin,
and that therefore Jimmy should be adopted BY
the city and educated, that he may become
leader OF the masses.
An honest farmer In Bureau County keeps a
rabid bulldog and Two vicious short-norn bulls
in his front Farsl, and has the fence stuck over
With placards, Beware OF the Dog,'' Look
out for Spring -Guns,' ~ Small Pox, % Gone to
Texas" and the like. It is currently believed
tllat be is & man who went to the Centennial
last year, and has taken this ingenious method
OF heading of bis Philadelphia relatives who
propose avenging his visits
4 Door but dishonest burglar broke into the
residence OF colored citizen the other evening,
and after securing some plundcr lost his way,
and endeayored TO find an egress- He found .
negress sooner than he expected, for, as he fell
over chair, the stalwart wife OF the colored
$1FT1 ttTyF 11}f i'm
ont as fat as book-1narker, with the comment
"Dah, Jawge Washtou, / teach you to come
home drunk like an ornerT black niggcr."
They tell IN almost incelib]e story Of an old
resident Of the West Division who died few
weeks ago, having in lifebeen a most unamiable
and unlimited Tumbler- He was spirlt4ailst,
seolemn circle, and one OF their number, having
obliging1y gone into trance state, invited com
munications from the spirit Of their deceased
brother. In due time it came "How." ques~
toned the surviving friends, .do you like the
What YOU may calf" "So-so,'' grumbled the
disembodicd spirit "Had to cross a nasty,
cold river to get here no tunnels, no bridges, or
else they were Ewung Things are hn;o al nus, ms
sizes too b.g. I almost wish were not dead- :"
is st.ldngly handsome woman Was prom
enadipg along Ashland avenue yesterday after
uoon, 1t shady corner she came suddenly Lace
to flee with stranger. Uttering piercing
tshriek, the woman fell to the ground, and went
into series VI complicated Mysteries, while the
strange gentleman, casting a hurried look at
her hurried away. No one In the crowd
that speedily collected Was able to ascertain
his naine, Or, indeed, TO give an accurate &C.
count of his appearance and dress, and the most
sensational and conflicting stories were Mt once
set adoat.' He was her first aud only lover,
whom her mercenary parents had falsely repre-
sclted to her US being dead He was the bstray-
er Of her innocent youth. he was IN E.uoch
Arden OF q first husband, and, secure in the be-
lief Of whose death at Chicamauga, she had mar
ried again. A TRIBUNE reporter, however, soon
set these and other stories like them at rest by
liscove1ing.that the real cause OF the ladys dis
play Of emotion was the falling OF big green
caterpillar down her back.
An inventive genius has devised something
the value Of the services OF which to the cause
Of religion it will be simply impossible to over
rate. 1t is patent everlasting, reversible
:hurch festival wade mecun,, the component
parts OF which are chamios leather, gutta
gprinkled with powdered sugar, it makes an I'D
mirabie substitute for sponge<ake; in layers
with strawberry and some salcratus to ever1
square ward, it can be used as short-cake; ant
then in the wiuter it may be cut into small ova
bits; ami, being served up with plenty Of pep
per and some boiling milk, makes nutIiiiou
nnd economical oyster-stew. The. invento
thinks that @lth twenty square yards Of thi
valuable article, costing less than $40. a congre
cation of 7Uo people can give four successful
festivals year and net enough money to III
the church ucbt md buy new melodeon 10
the Sunday-school
4 sad occurrence recently took place In
fashionable mansion on the South Side, the owt
ers Of which desire to be thought even NOR
fashionable than they arc A few days ago the
gave out that they were going to Newport for
private police agency to watch the premises
their absence. A couple OF nights after, th
vig'lant watehm2n thought he heard suspicion
noise on the premises, and detected q taint ligh
moving about III one Of the chambers, Securin
reinforcement, he cutercd the building, an
arrested the mother and two daughters Of til
family, who were living eelftontained exis
cnce on CRACKERS, canned stuff condensed mill
and butter without ice, keeping the shutter
closed, and moving about IL their stockiuse
1eet, using dark-lauterns at night, SO as TO ,nak
people believe they had gone 10 the countf,
The father and bFotLcr were leading miserabl
existence down town. The sad ocslrrehre ha
cast gloom over that fashionable family.
The bodies Of Philip schenkenberger and job
Wnnelmi who were drowned Sunday last in th
sQua1l that capsized the yacht Pamiico, we're n
covered yesterday. The first was that
Schcnkcnberger, who Was towed in by the tu
Goldsmith Maid, Capt. Kelley. 4 watch an
$45 in cash were found In the pockets Of til
clothing. The body Of young Wilhelmi va
found by the yacht Lincoln very near th
location where the tug found that of ScheukeI
berg, which is about s mile northwest Of th
Government Pier. The body was dressed i
dark brown pants, no yest. white shirt, alpae
euat, and buckied shoes 4 Swiss Perot watcl
No. &,376, present to s. Davis from the Welc
Temperance Union, was also found in his poci
cts the hands indicating 1:23 O'Clock. The a
csdent must have occurred some two hours b.
fore that hour. The parents Of the uuforunat
young men havc been telegraphed to. and vi
probably arrive in this city to-day. Both bodic
were badly decomposed, and were deposited q
the Morgue-
"TwRSTI-OSE.n
4 pleasant company Of friends and neighbor