The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1877-05-11
Wit in Court.

Keen and cutting words, or even
trifling incivilites, INDUCED in at the ex-
pense of counsel. have sometimes met
with swift retribution. Plunket was
once engaged in case, when, towards
the end of the afternoon, it became a
question whether the court should pro-
coed or adjourn till the next day. Plum
ket expressed his willingness to go
on if the jury would "set." "Sit, sir,
sit" said the presiding judge, mot 'set;'
hens set" 81 thank you, my lord" said
Plunket. The case proceeded, and
presently the judge had occasion to OBJ
serve that if that were the case, he feared
the action would not clay" "Lie, my
lord, lie," exclaimed the barrister, mot
lay;' hens lay"
"If you don't stop your coughing,
sir" said testy and irritable judge, "I'll
fine you hundred pounds" "I'll give
your lordship two hundred if you can
stop it for me-" was the ready reply.
Curran was once addressing jury,
when the judge, who was thought to be
antagonistic to his client, intimated his
dissent from the arguments advanced, by
shake of the head. 81 see, gentle
men," said Curran, 81 see the motion of
his lordship's head. Persons unac-
quainted with his lordship would be apt
to think this implied difference of
opinion, but, be assured, gentlemen, this
is not the case. When you know his
lordship as we'll as do, it will be un
necessary to tell you that when he shakes
his head there really is nothing in it,"
pleading before Fitzgibbon, the Irish
chancellor, with whom he was on terms
of anything but friendship. The chan
cellor, with the distinct purpose, as it
would seem, of insulting the advocate,
brought with him on to the bench, a
large Newfoundland dog, to which he
devoted great deal Of his attention
while Curran was addressing very
elaborate argument to him. At very
material point in the speech the judge
turned quite away, and seemed to be
wholly engrossed with his dog. Curran
ceased to speak. "Go on, Mr.. Curran,"
said the chancellor. ooh, beg a thou
sand pardons, my lords" said the witty
barrister, II really was under the impress
sion that your lordships were in con-
sultatiOn."
But perhaps the most crushing rejoin-
der ever flung back in return for an in
suit from the bench, was that which this
same advocate hurled at Judge Robin
son. Judge Robinson is described as a
man of sour and cynical disposition,
who had been raised to the bench, so, at
least, it was commonly believed, simply
because he had written in favor of the
government of his day number of
pamphlets, remarkable for nothing but
their servie and rancorous scurrlity.
At time when Curran was only just
rising into notice, and while he was yet
poor and struggling man, this judge ven
tured upon a sneering joke, which, small
though it was, but for Currans ready wit
and scathing eloquence, might have done
him irreparable injury. Speaking of
some opinion of counsel on the opposite
side, Curran said he had consulted all his
books, and could not find single case
in which the principle in dispute was
thus established.
"That may be, Mr. Curran," sneered
the judge, "but l suspect your law libra
ry is rather limited
Curran eyed the heartless toady for
moment, and then broke forth with this
noble retaliation:
sit is very true, my lord, that l am
poor, and this circumstance has certainly
rather curtailed my library. My books
are not numerous, but they are select, and
hope have been perused with proper
dispositions. have prepared myself for
this high profession rather by the study
of few good books, than by the compo-
sition of great many bad ones. am
not ashamed of my poverty, but should
be ashamed of my wealth if l could
stoop to acquire it by servility and cor
ruption. II l rise not to rank, shall at
least be honest; and should l ever cease
to be so, many an example shows me
that an ill-acquired elevation, by making
me the more conspicuous, would only
make me the more universally and no.
tOriously contemplate. Leisure Hours.
An Indian Duel.