The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1877-02-01
ROMANCE OF THE AVENUE.
He Wasn't Drunk, it was Only His
Boots.
From Don Pio9. Washington Capital.

One night last week member of Con-
gress, quite an exceptional one, in respect
Of the proprieties of his station and from
q social point of view, called on a we'll.
known young lady of this city. The
pavements were sloppery and his feet
were wet. While waiting in the parlor
and vainly essayiDg to imbibe warmth at
the register, q lucky thought struck him,
and as there was no one in the room and
no prospect of his lady acquaintance for
twenty minutes, he removed his boots
and stretched his brown.sock encased
feet in front of the register. The effect
was soothing and comfortable, and when
sufficiently satisfied with the heat our
Congressional rooster started to pull on his
damp boots. The movement: progressed
finely as far as the legs were concerned,
but the rapid transit was wholly stopped
when he struck the instep and there
stuck. Stamps, oaths, jerks and wrest-
ling with the leg. straps were of no avail.
He heard the rustic of the lady's dress,
and crowding his of. f.boot into the remain
ing, boot stood, with perspiration on his
brow and cold chills down his back, to
receive her. When she entered be sank
into chair with relief, and with the ex-
ception of some agitated absent minded.
ness, all progressed we'll until her father
dropped in, when, rising to greet the
paternal bird, our n. G. lurched dread
fully, so markedly that he was keenly
watched in his conversation, and his en-.
barrassed language resulting from the
situation subjected to scrutinous sus-
picion.
The general ides prevalent was not
favorable to the Congressional servant of
the people, and worse still he forgot him
self, and asking the young lady to sing,
offered to escort her to the piano, which,
under the circumstances, he could not
very actively accomplish. As it was he
lurched to leeward aud starboard, rolling
on the uppers of his treacherous boots,
while Che lady recoiled from an abrupt
fall on his part, and the old man seized
him violently by. the shoulder.
"You are little off," he said as polite.
" as possible with the occasion. II will
call my man he will see you home"
II amt drunk" expostulated the mem
Der, "it's my boots only; my boots F"
"Why you must he in bad way
Snakes in your boots7 No, no, my good
fellow, don't be alarmed, good nights
rest and all will be we'll. Thomas -.
"You Internal old fool" howled the
booted man; exasperated beyond the t
limit of decency by his wretched condi-
ton and the placid misunderstanding OF
the old gentleman "you internal old fool.
I amt drunk! can lick the head off'n
you in two minutes-I amt drunkl"
"I never saw man in more rampant
and beastly state of intoxication in my
life" This in an undertone. "If it
were not that I am restrained by the
presence of my servants I would put you
out myself. Thomas, show this gentle.
man into the nearest street car"
Overcome by the coolness of the old
man and the muscular development OF
the darkey boy, the unhappy member was
led out jogging and jerking on his rickety
boots and spraining an ankle at every
lurch. The darkey boy returned in few
minutes, saying:
"Goddlemity never see such a drunk.
en- man in my life. He wanted to fight
me fust and then gimme ten dollah bill
fe' my shoes, and sot down on de cub
stone and put 'em on. Dey was too tight
fo' him though, fo' he was Republican
gentleman"
(As he was Republican member, we
deem it Necessary to state that the ten
dollar bill in this instance was not coun-
terfeit.)