The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1877-05-11
Would Not Get Up.


An amusing story of the late DANES
Darlington is related as follows: Having
to appear for plaintiff, in n case at Clon-
mel, he let into the defendant in meas
ured terms. The individual inveighed
against, not being present, only heard of
the invectives. After Darlington, how
ever, had got back into Dublin, the de-
PENDANT, Tipperary man, lost no time in
paying his compliments to the counsel.
He rode all day and night, and, covered
with sleet, arrived before Burlington s
residence in Harcourt street, Dublin.
Throwing the bride of his smoking horse
over the railing of the arena, he announced
his arrival by laundering knock at the
door. Barrington's valet answered the
summons, and, opening the street-door
beheld the apparition of the rough coated
Tipperary fre-eater, with a large stick
under his arm, and the sleet sticking to
his bushy whiskers.
SIS your master up?" demanded the
visitor, in voice that gave some indica-
ton of the object of his journey.
mo-" answered the man.
"Then give him my compliments, and
say Mr.. Foley-he'll know the name
will be glad to see him."
The valet went upstairs and told his
master, who was in bed, the purpose of
his visit 'Then don't let Foley in for
your life," said Darlington, "for it's not
hare nor a brace of ducks he has come to
present me with"
The man was leaving the bedroom,
when rough, wet coat pushed by him,
while a thick voice said, "By your leave"
and at the same time Mr.. Foley entered
the bedroom.
"You know my business, SIR" said he
to Darlington; IL have made a journey
to teach you manners, and it's not my
purpose to return until l have broken
every bone in your body" and at the same
time he cut figure eight with his shilla-
lah before the cheval glass.
"You don't mean to say you would
murder me in bed," explained DANES,
who no doubt had as much honor as cool
courage.
"NO," replied the other; "but get up as
soon as you can"
eyes, replied DANES, "that you might
fell me the moment put myself out Of
the blankets"
NO." replied the other, 81 pledge my
word not to touch you till you are out of
bed"
"You wont!" "No." "Upon your hon.
orr" "Upon my honor"
''That is enough" said DANES, turning
over and making himself comfortable,
and seeming as though about to fall asleep;
81 have the honor of an Irish gentleman,
and may rest as safe as though were
under the castle guard"
The Tipperary salamander looked mar
| velously astonished at the pretended
sleeper, but soon DANES began to snOre.
"Halloa," said Mr.. Foley, ''aren't you
going to get ups"
"No," said DANES; 81 have the word
of an Irish gentleman that he will not
strike me in bed, and am sure l am not
going to get up to have my bones broken.
l will never get up again. In the mean
time, Mr.. Foley, if you should want your
breakfast, ring the bell; the best in the
house is at your service. The morning
paper will be here presently, but be sure
and air it before reading, for there is moth
ing from which man so quickly catches
cold as reading a damp Journal" and
DANES affected to go to sleep. The TIP
had fun in him as as we'll as ferocity; he
could not resist the cunning of the coun-
sci. 'Get up, Mr.. Darlington, for in bed
or out of bed have not the pluck to hurt
so droll heart"
The result was that in less than an hour
afterwards DANES and his intended chas-
tser were sitting down to warm break
fast, the latter only intent upon assaulting
dish of smoking chops.