The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1877-10-29
FRESH FLASHES oF FUN.

that scrubs snakes out OF boards.
Mr.. Tweed once gave boot-black five
cents, and thinks OF exposing him.
"This," thought boy while being
trounced by his lond papa, "is very like
a whale"
"No, ma'am," said a grocer to an ap-
plicant Tor credit, II wouldn'teven trust
my own feelings"
The Turkish army is threatened with
disaster. Most Of its eminent COM
manders are coming home to vote this
fall.
There is one sight in Rome that recalls
the national game OF poker to the Amer
leans. The Call l see 'em.-[ Boston
Bulletin.
A barefooted little boy stepped on
bee, and soon after said to his mother:
"Ma, didn't know that bees had splint-
ers In their taiIsp
Autumn thoughts-Autumn man get
drunk? Autumn niue kickf Autumn
maiden kiss? Autumn musician muzich
Ought-em!-IPuck.
A shopkeeper of great experience says
| that however talkatlVe clerks may be
during the day, they are always ready
to shut up at night.
An old man, when dangerously sick.
was urged to take the advice of ply :
sIcian, but objected, saying: 81 WISH to
die natural DEATH"
Seven-eighths of the entire population
Oh America are in debt to eucn other.
Well indeed may our people be called
the sturdy owemanry.-L Hawkeye.
"rhe single seull race!" exclaimed an
| InlH lad ~ lh loII
paper, II didn't know as they'd dis
covered race with, double skullsw
| The young man is sedate. He is think
| ing how he VIII have his OYercoat made
up, and what kind Of II story he will tell
his tailor III order to get it out of the
shop.
A German was about to make q jour.
ney TO has father and, and wishing to
say ''good-oy" to friend, extended his
nand and said: "Yell, OF | dOu'd come
back, hullo."
Old gent to boy (who is smoking the
end oil cigar he has picked up): "Ugn
Tor shame throw that nasty thing away
Boy: "WnaL! for you 10 PICK up and
smoke, Ell? L knows yerW
Swell son-"No, don't like her at all
horribly vulgar woman. Calls her nus
| band 'Ener! p Sell-made lather (Vdgue-
IIy)-"An!' (Pause) We'll, but amt lis
name 'Euer! ?-[London Fun.
Wells sunk in the chalk outside the
| London clay are very bountiiuIly sup.
piled. How pleasant to pump ones
milk from ones own well, and be sure
Irs all right Boston Advertiser.
| II makes a boy heart-sick as the win
ter's wood begins to loom up in steadily
growing piles in the backyard, and nt
sees his mother making preparatlons lo
organizing MIN into u ''workingman'l
party" =
There is literary society up town
| one of the members Of which is hoLe
waiter, ana he's the most troublesome
man IN the concern. He is continually
moving tu lay thugs on the table, New
York Commercial.
A tramp called at @ house on Wes
Hill the other day and asked for some
thing 10 eat. He was SO thin, he SAID
That when he had pain he couldn't tel
whether it vas touch OF the collie or th
backache.-[H [Hawkeye.
A correspondent describes Clara N or
ris as ''the actress that arouses a fel
lows and his girPs better naJure-tht
actress that makes the wife ana nusban
1
that things are as they are"
When the substAntials of the Dime
had been disposed OF by the visitors
Mrs. Clementina FIdelia DobDs said t
her hired girl, snow, Betty, you ma
bring on the Sahara" "Mum?7 TN
dessert, stupid" ~ 8, num-
Mr.. Tweed confesses that he used t
love TO lie, but that since his vacai ion ]
, Spain the truth surges through MS mani
, bosom 30 that ne says, II took hack u
your municipal cherry tree. l can not
} can not-On, do not ask me TO tell a lie.
4 The President OF Philadelphia stree
, car company mas stolen 50 ,000, 900, anl
they have only just now found il out
lie is probably the man that nrst It
commended the use ol the bell-punC
Tor coIductUrs.-Iurners Falls r.
| porter.
A Connecticut man, whose death wa
! falsely reported i'll newspaper, writes
'Its mistake. rVe no thought Of d,
ing. l couldn't afford 1t When funers
expenses are up higher than kite, an
potatoes worth only 80 cents bushel l
: Waterbury.
t 1t SHOWS every other day In Russi
, during the winter, and thousands
., | young uGu JUN me SLdL b ul III w uRL
the Turks tor no other purpose than
i get rid Of shoVellng LnTee or four Ieet 0
a snow of tAe front pavement three
lour times week.
Wife-"WeIl,J Jones, judging from yor
breath, l can't really Tell whether yo
IhaVe been drinking whisky, or wnethe
you have been swimming in it," HUI
= band (reproacnfully -"Hannah, don
| n Ui no
, hic-the benefit OF the doubtW
Professor Describing ancient Gree
| threater )-"And it had no roof" JI
nior (sure he has caught the Pro(esso
in d mistake )-'What did they DO, 81
= when it raineuP' Professor (taklng O
= mis- glasses and pausing a moment J.
n "Fhey got wet, sir."-[ Princetonian.
An agricultural correspondent write
; to correct what he Thought 10 be an err
e neous statement that recently appeare
= iu This column relative TO COWS giyir
I buttermilk. We adhere to our orIgint
statement. We never saw COW gi,
anything else but her milk Hawkey
= When a pretty young lady and hi
aunt were Knocked down by stage u
U other day, some tashilY.drassed your
II men at once rushed forward aud helpe
e them up y 10 supposed that they wel
Ssm smD4ers, from the iact that they fiji
assisted the young lady and tnen "raist
ha