Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1877-12-01
OFFICIAL PAPER OF LYON COUNTY.
TERMS:
A HUMOROUS OFFICE-sEEKER,

Senator Jones recently received
hum Jrous letter. After an introduce
tory paragraph, saying that he is the
only person in Washington who wants
IN Office, the writer continues:
Now, tisere's a show in the Interior
Department, over which the philo-
sOphlcal Carl presides, and / want to
get before that Civil Service Examin-
ing Board so that can let loose some
Of my wisdom. The havoc I will
create among common fractions will
cause weak minded persons to howl,
and the CONSERVATION that will seize
the different parts of speech will
make Gndley Murray crawl oat OF
his tomb and fiii his coffin with tears.
The geography Of this country will
undergo some rather startling ca an ses
and, Lord. bow the confidence of ti,e
public will he shaken in Daniel Web
ster as constitutional expounder
when l tackle that ancient document
The only thing is lie get before tie
Board I've go thirty seven appli-
cations ON file in the various Depart
ments, but am still out in the cold
world, and my autograph decorateth
act q payroll Boss, were you ev,r
busted d--broke-up tree! Were you
ever haunted by wild-eyed grocers
and pursued by the savage smiles Of
an unpaid landladys Did ever that
time come to you when dollar bill
looked like an Iowa cornfeld, and u
6ye-cent nickel was ms hard to raise
AS = chunk It psg-iroD2 Did it ever
occur to- you in your career that sa-
loon keepers confidence in your
promise e. pay was rs full of holes
as n cane-bottom chair, and when
G6gWtu uiCu w oci' g'u w p"pCs
makerss | zas one of those fellows.
Unfortunately I'm aot the man who
first introduced Hayes to the notice
of the Americsn public; I'm not the
original Jacobs, and, though u Walker,
a.as, am not "vinegar Bitters"
Walker, who had barrels Of money.
Therefore, oh, silver-mouthed Sena.
tor, | lack "infuence." Get me int
the Interior, and that Department
will secure the services of clerk
who will never resign when another
war comes on and leave the Govern
ment in lurch, aud Carl can 60 to
the schuetzen park and drink beer in
peace and have his mind easy, know
ing that l will run things on strictly
civil service basis.
If l cant get clerkship Ill open
doors, oysters, canned tomatoes or
anything else that comes handy. I'D
like a job of l'cking postage stamps.
l believe myself especially qualified
to sit in a hall 10 chair, or would
be perfectly invaluable as a man to
absorb the time of book canvassers,
81 that Carl would have AN opportu-
nifty to get his teeth repaired after
cussin' the cierks in his native Ian
guage. II were hossing pen IN
the Interior Department Ia shed a
lusre upon his administration. so to
speak, and remote generations would
name their children after the man
who got me in.
I'd like to get mortgage on your
good word with brother Schurz. 1t
.dop't make any difference about your
not knowing me; you don't know any
thing about half the fellows you re-
commend for places, and I'm not pre-
JUDGED against you on that account.
If I have not said anything about
my wanting a clerkship IN the Ints'
rior Department, and that Id like to
have you speak to the Secretary in
my behalf, then beg leave to con.
vey that impression to you in as
diplomatic way as possible.
In sunshine or shadow, Joy or sor-
row, drunk or sober, | am, sir, very
respectfully, your obedient servant.
G. g. WALKER.