, 1877-03-31
Washington al which hs took deliberate

Washington at which he took deliberate
aim. "Now look here. old fellow. :"
said be. ''it is generally conceded that
you are the Father Of this Country and
a few have been cruel enough to insln-
uate that you were the father of Gov
ernor Posey, OF Indisna-but we'll let
that pass. Now I've started this story
and I'm id il you haven't got to stay
here and listen to it, And there he
stood with the derringer pointed at the
picture and recited the story while
everybody about him laughed till tears
same to their eyes. Charley Webb,
whom We heve mentioned above. was
another Of the droll characters and
DIsTANcED ALL COMPETITORS
With his inimitable way of suffering.
There was once police court reporter
named Richard P. Robinson in San
Francisco. who was :.Secretary of the
Reporters Union. Charley Webb was
proposed for membership and elected.
When he came to pay his initiation
| tees. he looked at the Secretary's sigma
ture.
"G-g good Lord, is this your r-r-
right name:?"
"Yes. sir" replied Robinson. polite
ly.
"W>well. amt you afraid of b-beiDg
arrested for the MN murder of Helen
Jewett?" asked Webb without batting
his eye. Another time he asked James
Anthony of the Sacramento Union for
the loan of twenty dollars. The old
man had q queer habit of winking at
every other word.
Certainly Charley twink. wink) I'd
give you twenty dollars wink, wink to
have you stop suffering that way. any
time."
Now l-l-look here Nm mister An
thony. what's the use of t-t-talking
about that? 1. st-t-tutter with my
m mouth and you st tutter with your
eyes r'
Webb wrote petite comedy for
Wheatleieh. entitled "Our Friend from
Victoria. very clever thing too, by
the way.
WILLIAM J. FORBES
Could nerer be properly called Bohs-
misn. for he always had paper of bis
own and therefore ran no risk of get
ting fired out" But he had all the
drolIery Ct MARX Twain" without the
abominable habit of stealing Other mems
brains. One time in Downieville, the
road was lined with tramps about one
of whom would come along every day,
asking for money enough to get to
Washoe. One day old Forbes was read
ing proof ard called in his fo, eman.
saying:
''Bill, who the d. set this mess Of
rot?"
That little redheaded fellow with a
finger gone from his left hand. He was
drunk when he came here and hasn't
bad time to get sober yet" replied the
foreman.
"Well. asked Forbes, Twas the prin>
ter drunk 100 that distributed the case?"
sYes, SIR" answered Bill.
II knew it," cried Forbes triumph
antly;;" I've been studying Wayland's
Political Economy and 1 know that such
a result as this could Cnly have been
accomplished by division of labor"
MARK TWAIN
Or Samuel L. Clemens, to call him by
his proper name, is clever writer,
Though an outrageous plagiarist. He
claims the origin of the story of the
jumping Frog" when every man ac-
quainted with American low literature
knows that Fenton Noland. of Arkansas,
wrote that story and published it in the
New York Spirit Of the Times in 1889.
Sam was local reporter on the Terrific
rial Enterprise at Virginia City when We
first knew him One night it was snow
ing terribly ss We walked up South C
street, when suddenly we heard our
name called. Hsre was Sam wrapped
in big overcoat, sitting on an empty
dry-goods box and covered with snow.
"It's workin' bully" says he in his
unearthly drawl.
whats working?" We asked.
"My dorg trap oh no. guess not!'
1t seemed that a man had opened a
new drug store with night-bell at the
front. Sam tied one end of rope to
a piece of tough beef and the other to
that bell. The dogs made it lively for
that druggist, however.
WILLIAM A. sELKIRK
Edits the Mountain Democrat at Placer.
vile and is a tall. gawky looking man,
with the most verdant expression We
| ever saw. Some years ago We were
given to the "hifalutin" style of COM
position and used colossal sentences.
! One day, in an article on an inter
oceanic canal across the Isthmus of
Panama, we wrote ''it will unite the
foaming. blue Atlantic waves to the
long. placid green swell Of the Pacific"