Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1877-05-11
PASTIME.

al have pardonable desire to live else
where" said a man writing to the president
for a consulate.
Which is the oldest fellow, the one who
asks question or the one who answers
The one who asks, because he is the querist.
1t is said that the new style of the COM
mon hand-organ has only one stop. 1t be-
gins in the morning and stops at night.
We have reason to think that Cowper the
poet didn't pay his hotel bills, for he ohed
for lodge in some vast wilderness.
A Missouri paper, in speaking of the cold
winter of 1927, said "Hogs, cattle, ducks
and turkeys, roosting on the trees we're froz-
en- to DEATH"
There is place in Maine called Meddy-
hemps, it having been christened after all the
words ending in shook, coggin and goggin
had given out.
"Ho, all ye dyspeptics !" says patent
medicine advertisement. If all tho dyspep-
tics would hoe regularly their number would
be reduced.
The New York woodcock are said, upon
their first arrival in the state this season, to
stop at the nearest bookstore and inquire for
copy of the game laws.
"Did you do anything to resuscitate the
body 2" was recently asked of witness at q
coroners inquest "Yes, sir. We searched
the pockets !" was the reply.
The English claim to have been the first
people to use forks at the table. Probably
invented for Queen Bess. She always want
ed something handy to throw at fellow.
"We're in pickle now !" said man in
crowd. "a regular jam !" said another.
"Heaven preserve us !"-Er. Right in for
"sass," weren't they?
Policeman Orbus appears on the rolls of
the San Francisco force. If in order, We
rise to suggest that this is clear case of
collar 'em-Orbus.
The foolish man will ask woman if her
baby is not triae cross-eyed, but tho wise
man will take the cars for Chicago and make
his inquiries by postal card.
The st. Augustine hotel ia Florida is the
largest hotel in the world. 1t must be for
correspondent says that among the guests
are "the Smiths of New York"
The Norristown Herald suggests that tn
gull lotine be called into requisition to sup
press the tramp. Well that would be cap
ital way to get head of him, that's fact
"Mr. Jones, don't you think women ar
more sensible tn an men ?" asked Miss Smith
Aud Jones, after scratching his favorit
bump, for a moment or two, said "Why
certainly they are-they marry men, an(
men only marry women" Miss Smith bea
hasty retreat.
The first thing young man does on see
ing friend with a new hat on is to takC
it off and serenely try it on his own head
When a young lady sees an acquaintance
with her new bonnet on she justs lifts he
nose aud sereney wonders "where the thin
the lright"-CatskiH Recorder.
r "Say, Pat, suppose Satan was to com
! along now, aud see both of us here, whic
!. do you suppose he would take-you or me 7
Q "Oh, faith, yer honor, he'd take me-" "Ho
) so 2" "Well sir" said Paddy, "he'd tax
/. me now, because he wouldn't be sure of m
when he came again; but he'd be sure
0 you any time, and could afford to wait"
In a prominent interior city professc
of physics was giving deeply learned le
ture on light, with experiments Of mos
convincing nature. At the end of the di
0 course the professor, addressing with Il
y umphant air bis audience, excaims "
10 seems 10 me that demonstration like th
y is worth something" "llet's 60 eout," sa
% an economical baekwoodsman to his sou
"they air gwine to take up collection