The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1877-08-29
MISCELLANY.
SIFTINtaS.

GLF lANtfHe
--ycver use gold snnff-box. Gold is not to
BE- snf ezed at
When is wine like Q pigs trsk7 When it is
In hug head.
- novel may be very old, and yet what il
old cannot be novel.
Where may everlasting spring be found 2
In an mdia-rubber factory.
How Is it some papers are afraid ~ to give
credit to whom it is due?
IAN Irish paper advertises, ssWanted, an able
bodied man as washerwoinan.n
THE young gentleman who few into pas
sion has had his wings clipped.
We are asked ia long communication, ssif
tight facing is injurious" OF corset is.
The man who ''couldntstand it any longer"
has takena seat, and now focis quito comtorta-
bic.
when may man DO said to be literally i'm
ming lesson.
"A Boston paper publishes the receipt Of
Heaps g AMoyeg IA book) Why is 1t that mono
The girl who succeeds in winning the true
:ove Of true man, makes lucky M, and 10
herself lucky nstss.
If you want to teach q dog arithmetic, tie
up one Of his paws, and he vii put down three
and carry one every time.
"A country paper speaks of msn who died
without the aid OF phyEc4an." Sdcn in
stances OF death are very rare.
"A Frcnchman, intending to compliment
young lady by calling her gentle ia4Ilb, sAid,
she Is one mutton as Is sinai."
An editorial in an exchange is headed 'Does
tho Negro advancey" wiil-ai-hup or in pay
ments, but a anie in thick headeiless.
The lays Of the Nightingale may be very
delightful 70 Well fed Ilin Dat the lays" OF
hen are liked better by a nulsry man.
IN q man v,i,s. of,,,iix hta ot,ifdrav I ta
another who builds castles IN the air because
he indulges in fancy (.iflncy) 100 much.
II so through my work, Ms tie needle said to
the idle boy: "l'ut y : mlfil YOU are had
pushed, as the lille hoy said To the ieedle
"A fsvorite molo Of Introduction in Brazil IL
said to be- "rhis is my friend If he ste1ls any
thing from you, am responsible for IT,"
."Sammy, my. son. how many weeks belong
to the year I" sFHty-six, IT." why, Sammy
how do you make that outs" The other SIX are
Lent"
"A gentlcmsn was lately asked the question,
what is your iiynting welght2' 81 Will wait
long while befvfe Do any lighting" was tho
response.
An exchange says q man named Chip
Thompson, crossed the srhuylklH on a tight
rope, He must lave been olip OF the old
block Tom.
"A woman was offered thousand dollars II
ehe would remain silent for two hours. At the
end OF hfteen minutes, she asked Isn't the time
nearly np9" And thus lost.
William Aydelotte is the name Of the pub
OF Of, the Philadelphia Commonwealth. Whether
tho paper is duet his energy.
A. American journal asks what ia the differ
encs petween good soldier AMI fashionable
young lady? and replies some faces the pow
der, and the other powders the face"
--"Henry, you ought to be ashamed to throw
away bread lfke that. You might want it some
IaV b--stt /
chance OF se-s.Dg il then, II SHOULD eat II ar
now?'
---'John, You seen TO gain flesh every day;
lhe BH,esfs 2 'siaess ~ usi abIte With YOU Nh
md You ssfglf h'si swell, Simuh, r'aiiy
d'rif s9*, VT - stakes INC At WAS f. as,d 81
sug II"
-fsio vcrae about tho Dol "inosau'saire'
ofignaHg a5pss ID Ia this column, ..sa uas
gone tue roaa4 .. yearly ali tbs paJcrs, VINO
have mi IL ,i'ie ssas-ce, 81 ell credit iJr SALINE.
-.sl'a4 ts.4 i Little boy To- his father ~
church, ssNlio IL tlAt w0inaiIwlio sang soloud2
THAT Is the soprano, my boy" Aud what l.
soprano, pa e - soprano, my son, is yount
lasiyM o .,ais on asss.3
Ia Fseuchman Think The English Language
ia y ny tough. Dare Is TOOK nut" ne avs,
"wiica Is to PIT our your he i and see ami
louA ont, wti h IL 10 Haul III yvs.r head and mol
fal 70 sse Just c,titrar.a.'
"A woman who rpcestly hal her butter seized
ny tne eteIk OK thu lnagl.rt for short weight.
gave asa reason tiiat the eaw from which thu
butter Was nisde was subject 10 cramp, ali
that caused the butt sr 70 shfiik
AN Irishman, writing from Ohio, says It i,
the most illigant home N tue world. "Ihe fir
three weeka,r he says, .yun are board grats
and after that you ara charge notning ut al
Come along, and bring the chllderv
IA little boy entered u tiah-market the othe
day, and sooing Tor tie hist time pie oil lob
sters lying on the counter. looked intentlyn
them for some time, when he exclaimed: 1B,
veever seems
Two persons were onca disputing so loudl
on the subject ofreligien, that sbey awoke bi.
dog which he'd been sleeping ON the be rtll IL
fore them, and he forthwith barked most rir,
quietly slipping his tea while tho cisplIAnl
wore talking, gave the dog KICK ami ~
claimed, "Hold your tongue, you silly bsutc
You know no more about { than they do"
"A Yankee traveller Ia England, occupvin
the same room with an English clergyman
astonished his follow ~travoler on getting out
bed in the morning by violent cxpios'on
profane Language. the reverend geuila,ssn
nlonstiated At first, but was mc,iied b, h.-
planation = swell, cilculte, if yen Ian liyil
ed RS did on the bilsln ss-eni uf carpe,
tack, you would not have begun tle day wit
the Lords prayer, either"
When the oxyhydrogen microscore was Frs
exhibited III Edinburgh, q poor woman, who's
xioues Wouiu never muief ncr ascent 10 TIN
Kingdom above, took her seat in the lecture
room where the wonders Of the instrument wer
shown, and which were for the first time to met,
her sight. A piece Of lace was mapuined into
salmon-net, flea was lnetainorpLused into al
elephant, and other lskelnaryels were Iorme,
before the eyes OF the venerated dan e. who sas
In silent establishment, staring, opel.-m ulIiaa.
at the disk. But when at length m.lin.f's
needle was transformed into poplar II, e, AM,
confronted her with its huge eye, she conll
shold in" no longer ''A1y guolnessls she ca,
claimed, "a camel could 60 thrangl, That.
There's some hope for the rich fl ks yeti"