The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-03-03

1or reductlon OIL postage none are sc
practical as this: Get married.
"A hotel is advertised as "kept b,
the widow of Mr.. Brown, who died las
summer on new and improved plan"
The wild waves are wearing away
the State of Rhode Island and its tina
disappearance is only question of time
"A Sandwich Islander rubs noses
with the man he meets; the American
takes you by the hand the Sioux takes
you by the hair.
"A good man is just as apt to fal
down on a slippery place and craw
around and humble to himself as a ba(
man.--Haaoh-Eye.
An exchange speaks of the minor
ity sickness" Reference is made prob
ably to the catarrh, as it is disease OF
the noes.-N0raolch Bulletin.
Ask your halter, says the New York
Mail, which is the finest proverb in the
language, and he will Immediately re
ply: 1.-TWO heads are better than one. ;
"A youthful Granger, about to be
chas tised by his father the other day
called for his grandfather to protect him
from the middleman.
"A Vermont therremarked: " Yes
I want my daughter to study rhetoric
for she can't fry pancakes now without
smoking all the house up"
Nothing is more to be dreaded thar
hydrophobia. Remember, then, that il
can always be prevented by rapidly
climbing tree when mad dog is going
by.
calculations overheard in a railway
carriage in answer to the greeting OF
Happy New Year: "Noo year, yah
Wish I'd died last year; I'd been a much
richer man. "-L0ndOn World.
An Indiana school-boy's teacher
wanted to know the number of zones
-Four" was the reply. "The horrid
the frigid, the temperate and the intem
pcrotc."
Daniel Pratt, the great American
traveller, has challenged the Rev Henry
Ward Beecher, through the National
Hotel Reporter, to beat him /" on valua
BILE ideas, sentiments, and principles"
Hartford has largely reduced its
tramp population by the happy device OF
taking the windows from the lodging
house, and the tramps now seek less
chilly quarters.
The rage for alcohol in the treat
ment of fever, introduced in England
twenty years ago by DR.. Todd, has
abated, and hospitals are vigorously cut
ting down wine allowances.
Mr.. Wladgslaus Schawczuga has
just been naturalized at Pittsburgh. Let
this be remembered when Mr.. S. comes
before the Electoral Tribunal of the flu.
ture as an ineligible elector
Blue glass is the topic and sensation
of the day. Manufacturers are running
their factories night and day, and the de-
mand for blue glass is likely to exceed
the supply.
There is baby in West Stratford,
Conn, two months and half old, and
weighs two and half pounds. Both its
feet hardly fill an ordinary matchbox
1t is lively as cricket, and weighed a
pound when born.
Medical intelligence is more largely
diffused than any other information.
There is not a house in town where a
man can complain of sore throat or
pain IN the head that somebody will not
tell him what will cure it.
Let US discuss the question why a
woman can pin on mans collar the first
trying, when the very same pin, if en-
gineered by man, would double up and
run backward to stick in his thumb. -
oil City Derrick.
=" Have you ever read Watts on the
Mind'?" asked lady of an old bachelor.
ooh" exclaimed he, eff you only knew
what's on my mind, and yet L dare not
tell your "Why, do tell" cried she.
He did. The wedding came off in a
month.
Future Governors afflicted with a
propensity to "gush" in an inaugural
address can learn lesson from Gov.
Newbold, of Iowa. After taking the
oath of office he summed up his policy
in these six words "Ill do the best
can"
Fewer youths and maidens are leav
ing father and mother and cleaving unto
each other this season in Rochester than
at any other season. After all, potatoes
and such prosaic things have something
to do with the tender passion.-ROcheS-
ter (N ~ Times.
The Burlington HaDkEye humorist
pronounces the rumor that he was about
to start paper of his own as base
fabrication of his enemies. He makes
an emphatic denial, and says: He has
had it, He had all he wanted of it. So
had the Sheriff"
Mr.. Moody says that when he ar
rived in Boston he was met by the warn
ing that he must not expect to do the
same in Boston as he had done else
where, for Boston was "such a peculiar
place" But he thought Boston was like
every other place, full of the same old
human nature.