Richland beacon., 1877-07-28
PLEAS1NTRIES.

"Mother may 20 play base bsll.,
"ies, my valorous pitcher
But put your wire mask over your NM,
And don'tlet that league bali hit vrr"~
oh the June hug has come gentle Annie
anu likewise The one that haunts the f.a xher hoo;
arm III arm with the one that gnaws potatoes
say, now, ANNE, don't voH wish that We were load
The chiefs of the Cherokees, Della.
ware and Seminole Indians are all mem.
bers of Baptist churches.
"A superannuated Turkish officer has
Just been given position where he will
have nothing to do. He is a paymaster
-" Aut official patronage aut nihil."
-Bosfon Post. On course it ought. The
world is pinioned, checked, smothered.
by these absurd conventionalties. Off.
cial patronage ought to be on the Nile
Just as much as on the Potomac.
Each day in turn serves to diss;pate,
one by one, the supefstitions of an.
tiquity. but there isn't enough time
marked down on the calendar to suffice to
wean boy from the practice of splitting
on his bait before he attempts to catch
any fish.
The butchers, bakers and trades
men generally are now all converts to
the c. O. ID. plan because thew have
been defrauded 50 often by dishonest,
hotel-keepers. The chief poultry-man
there has &C. o. c." on his sign
"cash on chickens
Mrs. Quincess adv ises Young men 10
marry the women they love, and to love
women not cause they are han'sum or
know how to play the pianer, but be-
cause they can cook, an air satisfied to
eat plain dinner and hev an idee of
religion and the valy of truth.
FlOrence-"I have news for YOU.
dear; Harry Burton has got command of
the Spit-fre." Estella-And who on
earth is Harry Burton?" Florence
" Who? Why, you were dying for him
when he sailed two years ago." Estella
-" Two years! My dear girl, one dies
a great many times in two years. "-May-
fair.
There is horrible story from
Niagara. A bride and bridegroom, with
the formers mother, were standing on
the most dangerous point, when sud-
denly Mr.. Younghusband attempted to
push the old girl over the precipice, but
she was too quick for him, and hit him
one, two, three on the nose, and then the
whole party went to the Cave of the
Winds for stormy consultation.
Take you to the West End for two,
dollars" said Long Branch hackman
to a gentleman who got off the train
yesterday. "No," said the traveller.
Dollar and a half" The gentleman
shook his head. "Seventy-fve cents"
yelled the Jehu. No answer. Jump in
and I'll take you for a quarter, or I'll
punch your head for a cent?" The
Branch hackman are rivals of those of
Niagara.
There is a Methodist church at
Trinidad, Col, almost on the line of New
Mexico, which has not a single male
member in it. 1t is an adobe building,
plastered inside and out. 1t cost 5000
and is paid for. The official board is
composed entirely of women, who keep
their finances up to the mark. The pas
tor, Rev.. E. Richards, talented young
man, says he never had board that kept
its business in as good order as this one.
AT the last quarterly meeting the min
isters salary, that of the presiding elder,
the sections bill and the incidental ex.
penses were met promptly.
"A Toronto barber who had become
to religion was told that he
must work for the souls about him.
The tOnsOrial artist was a difficult man,
and he did not know how to begin but
one day pretty lard case came in to be
shaved, and he thought he would i'm
prove the opportunity. The expected
was seated in chair. duly lath.
cred, the razor stropred till the edge was
as keen as a Damascus blade, and Just
ready to apply to the customers throat,
when the barber whispered in his ear,
'' Are you prepared to die? With a
bound and a shout the victim left the
chair, crying, Not if / know it," rushed
up the street hatless and terrified lest
he should be pursued by the, as he sup
posed, would-be murderous barber. The
wielder of the razor has given up CONVEX
sion during business hours.
"A negro preacher had elaborated a
new theory of the Exodus, to-wit; that
the Red sea got frozen over, and so
afforded the Israelites a safe passace.