The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-04-07


pleasant to remain in our country til you hare
iaaoht me Chinese" It was pretty allusion to
perpetuity which, when translated, gratiiied the
envoy.
Here is seasonable hint which the ladies es-
pecially will not fail to heed:
Even If you are going to keep the house you
live in for another year, there Is no reason why
YOU should not 20 to your neighbor's house,
which has bill on, and look through 1T, soon
after breakfast, so as to catch her when the beds
are not made.-EI.
Considering the sort of weather "balmy
spring" has thus far brought us, the poet is
pardonable for sticking to the truth in singing;
Twas the first bird of spring;
He attempted to sing:
But ere he had uttered note,
A dead bird was him,
He fell from the limb,
For the music had frz in his throat.
The stupid art critic of the ST. Louis RcDuJlcdt
thus criticises picture:
In the Third street window where the picture
the bulldozers" was first exhibited, now appears
quite a large painting probably by the same ar
list representing pointer flushing & pheasant.
The dog is well drawn, but the artist should GER
tainly study birds. To which variety of grouse
the bird belongs is not evident from the picture,
though the bird is big enough for careful study.
The dog even seems puzzled.
The obtuseness of the critic is shameful.
Can't he appreciate the master stroke Of the ar
list who purposely made the bird n nom
descsipt TO bring out and give emphasis to the
perplexty OF the dog:
Sometimes we catch fair glimpses, in our stillest
midnight Dreams,
Ofangels swinging censers, waiting mist wreaths
DER blue streams.-N. /. Herdd.
Then the vapory vestals vanish, and the censers
pale and pass
And We catch glimpse OF FAIRIES bringing lager
in blue CLASSY y. Graphic.
Or, perhaps, as rise the vapor and the mist
wrcaths circle higher,
IT'S our wife's voice breaks the charm with
Now get up and build the fire"
st. fouls Eep,
and when the glorious sun comes up and floods |
the room with light,
We family gin to realize that last right we
were tight,
The course of true love don't run smooth at
Funk's Grove, H. A Miss Fenncr, of that locali-
ty, recently copcd with one Oliver Mapes.
Miss Fenner's mother pursued the couple and
overlook them. She took the maiden away from
the man, mounted her astride horse, tied her
feet together, and so drove home. This, at least,
Illusions followed by sorrow, must have been
named after Peter when he left it.
Hayes southern pacifactory policy is at last
defined The World discovers that his attitude
toward the southerncrs is even that of the walrus
toward the oysters:
II weep for YOU" the walrus said
~ deeply sympathize"-
With signs and tears he counted out
Some OF the largest size
And sadly swallowed them.
Elgn can boast OF possessing the rneancst
person heard from yet. He steals Grape from
The doors.
We take back the credit we gave Elgn for
having the "meanest person yet" The chap
lives in Deleyan, Wis, and he stole ham from
he editor, and the editors family remains meat
ess.-ROckford Regster.
We can beat that. A dentist up In Dubuque
tole a set Of teeth from the mouth of n corpse;
hen went back for the jaw IFh,teside Times.
He got 1t from the widow, with interest.
few days ago a iend in human shape dis
placed some rails on an Iowa railway and threw
passenger train from the track. The villain
vas captured, aud the Indignant passengers
we're about to hang him on the spot, when the
CONDUCTOR announced that the disaster had kill.
I'd prize package man. Then the passengers
et up on the rope, begged the wrecker's pardon,
allied him their preserver, aud took up purse
Df 500 for him burlington Hdickeye.
A Frenchman has discovered that human hair
an be transplanted, and bald headed men can
Jecome reasonably hirsute by the process. A
nan with thick head Of hair and slim purse
,aL furnish a bald-headed man with heavy
purse, fine toupee at comparatively small ex-
pense The hair is carefully drawn out and the
bulb at the end Of each hair is adroitly mplant.
I'd into the scalp, where takes root It requires
more skill than landscape gardening.
To correspondent who inquiries whether !.
Madison Wells is q white man or negro, the
Cincinnati Enquirer answers that he is a white
man with coored procliyilies, and is TO be in
serted in the next edition OF the Peerage us the
Fraudulent Count.
The Fenian movement has broken out again.
Philadelphia pcrfumer has Just put upon the
market new kind Of pomade, which is said to /
be the strongest head scenter that has vet been
brought out.-Buriington Hd,okeyc.
The New York Herald informs US that an au
thor OF tLat city is writing a book "On Paper~
On what in mischief could he write IL tut on
paper!- Cincinnati Enquirer Well, he might
write on compulsion, or on reflection, or or sun
day. st Louis Rep.
q II
journey, or on time.
Only one person in ten in Rhode Island is en-
gagged In agriculture; and he Digs his beets with l
a corkscrew so as not 10 disturb the soil OF Mas.
eEchusetts and Connecticut WOrchosfcr Press.
Girls, don't be afraid 10 work. Ruth CLEANED
in the harvest field and got just as good a Boaz
any girl in the neighborhood.
Cheat Justice Joe Bradley is what they call
him in Philadelphia
According TO the Philadelphia Press, which, II
may be feared, has a prurien, memory, "the
qusdroon girls Of New Orleans are looking anx-
iously with their pink eyes for the new commits
sion
Now let Us see whether people will dare TO
spurn Chicago book or life Insurance agents
from their doors with contempt An advertise
nent in the Tribune reads as follows
s2JO0s year 20 agents. Outfit and 90 shot
gan free. For terms address, sc.
Il vas LADY Mortley Montague who said.