, 1877-02-02
Fun and SsntimsnL
4 sNAnr thing mustard plaster.

CONGRESSIONAL NARAf' - N-'
Oh. let me he iaviul.
S,,,trry journals mention that hridh
trips arr l,,s-oming unfashionah.'.
IxRr,,il diamonds arr founl ou noun
t,i,. 4 tssl feet above the SEA. Ihis .,
What makes them - high.
Az Alabama laby Of negro pycnilgc
Ia. cNartlv oue-half of his body white
and the other half black. Cornt him IN.
Wu,r j. the difference between the
leaih Of A harl,cr and a sculptor? One
curls up and dyes I; and the other makes
faces and busts.
Is carving a turkey in the presence OF
strangers it is breach Of etiquette 10
stop more than twice to spit on your
hands and get 4 new hold.
GES. SHERMAN is credited with saying
that hereafter new course would be
pursued with the Indians. Why not
pursue he Indians themselves.
A CORRESPONDENT entered an office,
and accused the compositor Of not having
punctuated his communication, when
the typo earnestly replied, I'm not a
pointer I'm a setter"
An itinerant bookseller called at
house in Pennsylvania, and after show
ing several works unsuccessfully, said :
"'Here, sir, is q Bible /; first rate book /;
full of useful information"
A CoUNTRY8IAN going down town with
load of pork was met by young girl,
who genteely made him very low cour-
tesy. He exclaimed: "What do you
make courtesy to dead hogs?" No,
sir" answered she" to the live one.
TAKING a cigar out of hPs mouth, the
minister said to one of his parishioners,
fond of sleeping in sermon time: There
is no sleeping car on the road to Heaven. !"
"And no smoking ear, either, ] reckon,
said the man, in reply, now vide awake.
"IDoN'r see how you can have been
to work all day like horse" exclaimed
the wife of lawyer, her husband hav-
ing declared he had been thus working.
"Well, my DEAR" he replied, Tive been
drawing conveyance all day, anyhow"
A NEGRO held COW while across-eyed
man was to knock her ON the head with
an Ak. The darkey, observing the mans
eyes, in some alarm inquired, You
gwine to hit whar you look?" Yes. !"
"Den," said Cuffee, hold dis COW your
self"
LET Turks delight to howl and fight,
for tbs their nature to; let Bear and Lion
growl and bite, for madness made them
50. But Yankees, You should never let
your angry passions rise; don't quarrel; (;
trade, work hard, lie low, and forward
supplies.
THIS Louisiana business is perverting
the morals and humanity Of the nation.
A city cat last week returned count of
seven kittens, and then the lady of the
house assumed ministerial and clerical
powers, and threw six Of them out into
the sewer.
Mrs PABTEoToN tloqitur) =" But
therel The Japanese Department. in
fected It thoroughly. It suppressed my
highest exhortations. Sich armistic brick
brick ! Sich fans of uni-q designs
Sich vases and gardenersl Sich rair ar
ticles Of Virtuel 1t beggars deceptionl"
II was the room of sick wife. Life
was at its lowest ebb. She had been si-
lent and still for nearly an hour. Sud-
denly smile Of ineffable content beamed
from her pale features, and turning to
her husband, whostood by weeping, she
whispered: 20, my darling, 1 do hope
that when am gone my new cardinal
stockings will fit my sister Ann"
SHE was fond of eonundrums, and
when she learned that muller was Latin
for woman shs thought she had good
one. So she asked her husband what
was the difference between herself and q
mule. And as he had been married sew
eral years, he was too thoughtful to trou-
BILE her by guessing, but kindly remarked
that he had never been able to see any.
HAVE you any rebutting testimony
to offer, Patrick p asked the Justice of .
prisoner arraigned for goat-killing. Pal
scratched his head new light seemed
to dawn on him. Rebutting, is it
Shure an that's Just what's the matter
yer Honor the bloody baste butted me
till divil a stitch Of safe wuz left on me
breeches, yer honor, and that's why Tn
here to-day" Pat was acquitted.
In the hard drinking days an old
Scotch laird and his eldest son wert
riding home together from hospitabll
gathering. Their ride for while wa
silent, but at last the SON said: Fey
ther, I wish ye was deid." The old mar
rather sadly replied: "Well, laddie,
hae often thought that of my feyther
but | never hae the impotence +,
say't."
Two OF the old boys, comfortabl,
circumstanced and accustomed to in
dulge in from ten to twenty drinks pe
day, were day or two ago watching
man who was squeezing lime-iuice int,
a glass, when one of remarked: ..
hear that Smith died yesterday. You re