Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1877-09-27
Helena, Montana Thursday, September ~, 1877.
No. IS
PEOPLE AND THINGS.

Much coarse paper is made from spruce
chips down East.
A Minnesota paper prints war map of the
Northern Pacific railroad.
American printing machines make good
impression wherever they go.
The application of soda Immediately de-
stroys the smarting pain of sunburn
Baptist ministers, in Iowa, are not allowed
to puff themselves IN the newspapers.
There is no truth in the story that Patti has
retired to convent. No, nun whatever.
The finland Club composed of lady
journalists, has been organized in Chicago.
A kentucky paper makes all earnest ap-
peal for spring chickens in payment OF SUBJ
scriptions.
Question by little Vermont boy looking, at
beautiful statue: "Ma, did she hang her
clothes on q hickory limb ?"
A North Carolina Democratic editor calls
Tilden q dead duck. The dead-ductlon IS
obvious. Commercial Aduertlser.
The defiant Hawkeye says: STANLEY Mat
thews is an alleged statesman. And it that
be libel, we are prepared for the worst"
The Shah of Persia does not pay his debts.
Shake! old -Nasser -ud-deen; what do you 40
with yourself about the first Of all the month?
-HaDkeye.
Minister" "Dont you know its wicked to
catch fish on the Sabbath 2" Small boy (not
having had bite all the morning. "Who's
catching fish,"
Darwin can point with pride at the London
gorilla. 1t is the only animal not man that
smokes and drinks. Thereby hangs tall
Philadelphia Press.
A,lv W.T. sv, no rQn0nfIOnC
Yourself and party, Mr.. President, because
we are afraid of being accused Of politics.
Rochester Democrat
A sensible Vermont girl refused to promise
to marry young fellow until he had SUBJ
straightway and did it.
Awful suggestion for the West The Pres
ident attended an Episcopal church. Sup
pose he should become ritualist, and bow
to the East !-Detr0it Post.
Dom Piatt says that "a true interviewer is
q man who puts his own views in the mouth
of the interviewed, and trusts to God and
good luck to escape death.
The old topper gets that familiar quotation
thus: Life is reel. philadelphia Bulletin
But he isn't able to make many knots before
he gets tangled up.-Graph'c.
Alexis has been presented with sword tor
bravery. The full list of the battles in which
he was engaged will be engraved on the point
of the weapon.-foston Post.
The Graphic is authority for saying that it
is now considered in bad taste for gentlemen
to wear gloves. This is the most economical
caprice ever favored by fashion.
Richard Grant White admits that it the
people who live at the ''place in Illinois ab-
surdly named Cairo choose to call 1t C0y-eye'
no they have perfect right to do so.'
A home thrust-Doctor: "Now tell me,
Colonel, how do you feel when you have
killed a man p Colonel: "Oh, very well,
thank you, Doctor-how::do you. ."-funch.
The Kentucky Republicans had six mem
bers of the State Senate last year. RecoDclll-
alton and the other things have worked so
we'll that this year they will have one at least.
- World.
The humblest can do something toward
making the local paper interesting. Ii you
cannot be defaulting bank clerk, you can
at least step on an orange peel ana spraln
your ear.
Areporter for Wisconsin newspaper writes:
''Those who personally know our esteemed
fellow-ci,izen, Col. -, will regret to near
| that he was brutally assaulted, last evening,
but not killed"
Johnny lost his knife. After searching in
one pocket and another until he had been
! through all, without success, he exclaimed
| ooh dear! I wish had another pocket; it
! might be in that"
An entomologist writes to London paper
that ''The Paribhasendusekara is book that
will not attract any notice beyond narro"
circle of Sanscrit scholars. 1t is great re-
lief to know this fact.
! There is just one thing about it. The lady
who insists on carrying good share OF her
dress in her hand has got to keep her shoes
tied up, or let everybody know she lett nome
in hurry-Detr0it Free Press
"Will advertising pay ~ is a very ola ques-
ton, which has always been answered IN 'ne
affirmative; but the question in newspaper
Office is, ''Will the advertiser pay = Ihls Is
not always answered in the affirmative.
"Postal card proposals." exclaimed a
| naughty young miss. reading over the gov
eminent advertisement; ''well, never! II
q fellow hasn't stamps enough to send his
proposal in letter, he hasn't stamps enough
to marry me"
"Jimmy," said an Englewood father yes
terday morning, ''the doctor just brought you
a beautiful. new little sister" mo he didn't,
| neither" said Jimmy, 'for seen him when
he KUN in, an he had a cane in one hand an
nothing in the other"
| Says the st. Louis Journal: Janauschek
and :Fechter will travel together during the
approaching season. We can imagine the
queen of tragedy hurling her 200 pounds OF
avoirdupois into the arms of the porpoisey
Frenchman with the words: "Clawt, doset
thou trooly lofe me ?" Then he will roll up
l 4 I 1af1