The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1877-02-06

The Pig Tail Publican CeIe.
brates His Happy New
Year.
sfozziz niiiz at the Toledo blade
and Commercial freaks Bread
with slant Eyed CeIestiais, nnd
Tells How mongoiians Eat,
Drink and Make Merry,
Allie same Mclean
Man.

Man.
Hang Lee the celestial, the moon
eyed Mongolian, the soap suds slusher,
the flat-iron wiggler, whose sign squeks
TO the passing breeze on Perry street,
celebrated his New Years last night.
and he did have one OF the tsllest times
ever witnessed in Toledo. Hang dis
tinctly stated when Christmas came
around that he'd be hanged il he car
ed "Dlam cent for Chlissmass" and he
even positively refused to get drunk,
but last night he joined with Com
mercial reporter, who, on account OF
his gentlemanly bearing towards his
washerwoman, had been invited, and
his serf, Jing Hee, in
MOST HILARIOUS BLow-oUT.
Hang stated at the opening OF the
proceedings that he was not fully con-
vinced that last night was the Chinese
New Years, but he felt it In his bones
that it was about time, and as he had
lost his calendar, and couldn't tell just
what date it was, he concluded that he
would be as apt to hit the date last
night as any time. At seven o'clock
Mozziz cleaned the grease spots of his
coat, turned his paper collar, and thus
brilliantly arrayed set out for the
palatial quarters of Hang. lie kicked
on the door, when it swung open and
he entered The apartments had been
transformed into brilliant salon. The
dazzling brightness aud splendor of
everything was set of with brilliant
tallow candle, which had been left from
Hangs Sunday dinner. He was seated
on saw buck, which had been gener-
ously donated by one of his christian
neig ghbors. He was simply stunning in
appearance. Bob Kelley, the boot
black, had persuaded him to have his
boots polished. 1t is true he had no
boots, and would not assent to have
his wooden soled stogas desecrated
with blacking, but his white socks and
elegant toes, which protrudel through
holes in the same, had been blacked
up To kill. The engineer at the police
station had loaned him his oil can, aud
that beautiful soap-hued auburn pig
tail of Hangs was oiled up with ma
chine oil favored with peppermint, till
the grease dropped down on his heels.
He had on his swallow-tailed, blue den
inns blouse and beautiful pair OF pam
falcons which we're none other than a
civilized christians pair of
RED FLANNEL DRAWERS.
The pencil grows dull in attempting
10 describe Jing Hee's apparel. An
elegant Shakespeare collar buttoned
wrong side before on his blouse par
OF corduroy pantaloons, embellished
with red patch on the upper half of
the rear quarter of the northwest sec
tion, constituted some of the most at
tractive features of his costly ward
robe.
"Heap hell cold" said Hang, giving
the reporter nail ktg.
Hangs aptitude in talking abont the
weather showed that he had moved IN
the best society.
Almost Immediately the three pro-
ceeded 10 the rear room taking the
candle with them, and setting IL on the
table. The first order Of the evening
was the beautiful and impressive Chi
nese religious service pronounced on
such occasions. Hang did not bring
his religious apparatus over from Chi
ma with him, but he had extemporized
some for the occasion. An old oyster
can made q first rate joss house, and a
tin hoss. stolen from little Bobbie Wen
eel, next door, made an A No. | idol.
A cheese rind burning on the stove fur
nished sweet incense for the occasion.
At a signal from Hang, Jing Hee, who
il hired to say'the prayers and sweep
the house, commenced to waltz around
the table. on which was the joss house,
and repeat the service. The reporter
anxious 10 appear devote. joined with
him by repeating.the Declaration OF In
backward. Hang was deep
ly affected, and when Jing showed an
inclination 10 let up and take breath,
he softly murmured
"dLoSa LERR OLE cLUss."
At length the prayers were said and
the trio proceeded TO partake OF re-
freshments. The table, like the porous
plaster on Jing's pants, had been
spread with the most lavish expendi-
ture. Jing took his chop sticks and
slashed into the dish of fried mouse
without any ceremony, but Hang swat
tel him over aud said /:
'Hol on jing, don cate so quick
likee diam hogce." Then turning to
Mozziz, he said, Wants say some.
lings ?" He took the hint, but declined
to say grace.
Hang then seized the chop sticks,
smiled blandly at Mozziz, looked dag
gers at Jing, and took the whole OF the
boiled boot sole over on his own plate.
"Hep slef, said he, as he favored
the boot sole with turpentine dressing.
1t was cheering to see those benight-
ell heathens get away with the victuals
Their chop sticks fairly flew, their ears
wriggled with delight, and occasionally
they would give a grunt of supreme
satisfaction equivalent to the pleased
exclamation Of ths man of the house
over his well cooked steak, as he says,
"Wife this is splendid. OF course,
Mozziz ate heartily. 1t was a splendid
contrast to his boarding house bill of
fare. The baked rat with castor oil
dressing, was cooked TO a st." The
onion dumplings with paste dressing
we're luxurious, and tue hens feet on
toast we're greeted with great e-claw by
all parties. Hang apologized for not
having been able 10 purchase any bird s
nest. he said that Tryon * Rood had
disappointed him mt the last moment,
although he stated that they we're not
to blame, as the birds had suddenly
struck for higher wages and there was
not nest in the market, but he had
been able to purchase some excellent
hens nest, which was just eggsactly az
good. The hens nest was served NJ
for dessert.
ONE KEs or OPIUM.
After the supper a new keg Of opium
freshly tapped, was brought on and th,
pipes filed. After Whit or two Hans
PROPOSED dry toast. ''IIler is hope'
washee woman allie go heap dead. AL
hands smoked 10 the toast, while the
reporter rejecting on how beautiful
monument he would buy his washes
woman with what he owed her !
Hangs wish should come true. Ther
tI,ers were other toasts, richly brown
ell with opium smoke aud bnttere'
with some Of Hang Lees choicest wit
and finally the assembly followed th'
example " all civilized men at sup
per. hy getting comfortably drunk
| After an appropriate amount OF noise
ali thit.e iuined hands aud sing tina
beautiful hymn, "Whee Wontee Oil
Hoalec Tillee Mornin.
The reporter put ON his hat and wa
about 20 depart. when Hang prcsente
him with a SOLID, starch-plated Gu
which some customer had never calle
for. and a beautiful blue enamelle
- Nth fret work toe and n &c