Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1877-10-12
Nasby
THE PRESIDENTS SOUTHERN PRoGRESS-rHE
CORNERS EXPRESSES ITSELF.
CONFIDENT ROADS,
Wien Is IN THE STATE w kENTUCki)
Sept Il, 1877. J


CoNFEDERIT y ROADS,
Wien Is IN THE STATE Nv KENTUCKY
Sept. Il, 1877.
Yesterday the Corners wuz proioundl
shocked. Joe Bigler WIZ over to Secession
vile, and wen he returned, he spred III
nooze that the frodulent President, Hayes
WIZ on Southern toor, and he'd decldeu u
make the Corners visit.
Iwuz profoundly alarmed. | he'd red ~
oyashens he he'd received in the South, an'
he'd wore mornin on my hat for two days II
conscience The idee NV Dlmocrats bowlr
the knee to this Ablishn Baal and dom hin
honor, stung me to the quick. And to thlnH
that he shood hev the impoodence to come
to the Corners, and undertake TO conker the
lust preloodisses nv our sterlin Dimocrisy-
that Dimocrisy wich never yit regarded time
| nor place-but wich alluz remained troo to
the cardinal pints NV Dimocrisy that he
shood come and try to corrupt them, Wnz
too much.
Suthin he'd to be did, and that quickly.
Bipler sed he wood be here the next day, and
and convened a meetin towunst.
| 1t wuz sad occashn, | statid the obJick IN
a few words. Here wuz a fraudulent Presl-
dent wich he'd bin goin over the entire south
| a Ablishn President a travlin thro en-
| tlckN ana ItUutSStt, anu LtAiil - w hNtaA
killed. Not so much ez single hiss or "A
groan he'd bin hurd at him. Kisses and
| groans and bricks On the contrary this
representative NV the Ablshn sentiment NV
| the North he'd bin feasted, and wined and
dined in the South, and by Southern menl
He wuz a comm to the Corners. Not CON
tent with pollutin Louisville, he WIZ to con-
tinyoo his triumphel progress to the Corners,
and it wood be expected that the Corners
wood put its neck under his yoke, and yelp
hosanners to this yooserper. Wood the cor
ners do it (Cries of never . never , With
a niger in the Post Offs. and Radikel in
the Collectors offs, wood the Corners con-
| slider itself satisfied: Never The troops hev
BIN Withdrawal from Loosianer, but so long
ez them ofiises is KEEP from the Dimocrisy,
| the remembrances NV fratrisidle war still
rankles in our buZms.
| The cheers wuZ SO yocltrus that rlz with
| the occashun.)
Wat does all this mean? Where is the
| Dimocrisv Wat is Dimocrisy anyhow? Hez
the old sperit died out? Do them Kentucki-
ans wich are hurrahin for Hayes realize the
| fact that he WIZ electid by ablishn votes Do
they remember that his sword IL rusted with
Suthern blood, and that to sich ez him they
owe the loss nv their niggersI
Are they still Dimecrats?
Who is this Hayes
Does he believe in the last war with Great
Britain.
Does he believe in the resoloshons Nv
'9s!
Does he bleeve in free trade?
Does he bleeve that Jaxon wuZ the greatest
Nv Amerikins, and that the volunteers from
Kentucky and Tennessee wich wuz at Moo
Orleens are deservin NV resolooshens NV
thanks at every Dimecratic convenshun?
Is he opposed to eternel improvements,
and does he still shout for free trade and
saler rites ::
Is he in favor NV the extenshun NV slavery
to the territories, and is he oppo ed TO the
heresy Nv Douglas.
Did he vote for secession
Does he bleeve in States rites, and is he in
favor Nv hard money? Or ruther, WE'LL on
the hard money question | amt so pertikeler,
but, | sum it all up-is he a Dimekrat
And then perposed the adopshen NV the
follerin reslooshens
wAREAs, frodulent President wich is a
yooserper. is making toor NV the South,
and hez bin reserved with demonstrashens
Nv approval by Suthern Dimecrats, and
WAREAs, The sed President is President de
iakto, and not President de jure.
Deekin Pogram- "Parson, wat is de fakto
and de jury"
i tADihlutu u lle pCthln lllhl lItlu leIIIS
wuz furrin in their strukter, but he'd bin
yoosed in Eastern Dimecratic noosepapers.
and must therefore be good phrases, and that
l wood expane EN- to him at some fucher
time, and went on
and deserves the reprobashen, instid Nv the
applause, NV all Dimecrats, and
WAREAs, We nv the Corners, htvin never
heered that this yooserper hez n single one
Nv the time-hOnored prinsIples NV the Dime
cratic party. but is in all respects bloody
minded ablishnist, therefore be it
ReSOlred, That in antissipashen Nv his
comm the Corners be dressed in mournin.
Resolred Eza sense NV theNhoomiliashen
the Corners feels at his comm, that the day
he is here shell be a day NV iastin and hoomi-
liashen, and that to properly express orr
feelins, Bascom shel close on that day. and
the Corners shel gnash its teeth.
ReSolred That doorin the stay NV the
yooseIper the Dimocrisy Nv the Corners shel
keep within ther doors, and leeve the wei
comm NV the sed frod to the nggers and
radikels.
The resolooshen closin Bascoms wuz mod
flied into dressin his front and also the barls
in black Grape, at Bascom's expense, and the
resolooshens wuz passed yoonanimusly.
At this pint lssaker Gavitt rose and wantid
10 offer a resolooshen. Issaker remarkt that
the resOlOosnenS WuZ Just, eZ tnluBs now
stood, but he wuz u merciful man. He didn't
want to cut the yooserper of entirely, but
desired to give him q chance to gain the es-
teen Nv the Corners. He wood give him
one more chance Jist one more, and ef he
refoosed that, why then it WIZ all over. He
wood offer this resolooshen
ReSolUed, That while We brand Roother-
ford b. Hayes, ez President de fakto, and
ez oppressor NV the South, and ez the des-
troyer NV the liberties nv his country, and so
feelin, refOoze to welcome him to the Corners.
nevertheless, eli he shel do the Corners the
iustis to remove the infamus Radikel which is
Collector, and appint in his place Issaker
Gavitt, and also remove the niger Postmas-
ter and appint in his place the Rev. Petro-
leum V. Nasty, it wood 60 great way tow
ard softenin the bitterness and hoomiliashen
wich now rankles il the buzm Nv the Cor
ners, and wood tend very much toward res
TORN that harmony and good feelin that shood
exist between q secshun and the general
government.
wuz in doubt whether we ought TO con-
cede so much but Bascom turned his eyes
appealingly to me, and | consented. l owe
that man TOO much to stand on tritles The
addishnl resolooshen wuz passed, and we ad-
iourned feelin that watever other places in
Kentucky mite do, the Corners he'd done its
dooty.
PETROLEUM V. MASSEY,
Ex-Reformer.
P S.-Jist ez we edjourned We got the
nooze that Bigler he'd been hoaxln NV US
That the accursed yooserper wusnt comm to