The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-03-10
The GrOund-HOg Excuse.

aAS ASANuoCs
adam Crane, why did you get drunk
yesterday" blandly inquired the Court
of the first man.
His Honor's kind look gave Adam new
courage, and he explained;
" 1t was grounding day, your Honor"
I" So it was; but what has ground hog
day to do with whisky?"
"Our family has always celebrated
the day, Judge. If it is cloudy day
we have baked goose for dinner and CON
graduate each other on an early spring.
If 1t is sunny day we always get drunk
and smash windows. That's why l got
drunk. 1t has been a regular custom for
years and years, and l hope you won't
hop on to me with big sentence"
{" l can't help about it's being a Gus
tom, Adam Crane, ." softly replied the
Court, "nor can the people of the State
of Michigan make it cloudy or sunny for
the grounding. Our folks here found
you driven into pile of rubbish up to
your shoulders, pulled you out and
brought you here, and it is now my pain
full duty to give you the cold grip for
thirty days"
Hang the ground-hosw muttered the
prisoner.
" No swearing, unless you raise your
right hand" replied the Court 1.-THE
fact is, Mr.. Crane, there is too much
fooling with the weather, and there are
too many signs and too many prophets.
One day the goose-bone predicts regu-
lar old silver-plated Worcester, and next
day Gen. Myers brings on thaw. This
having to use a wheelbarrow In the
morning and hand-sled at night has
disguised me-"
81 don't control the weather." growled
Adam.
Can't help that; you will have to
take your little grounding under your
arm and 90 up. "-Detr0it Free Press
FROM GEN. d. s. FORBES.
The following chatty letter from Gen.
Forbes relates in pleasant way his eXpe-
rience with DR.. Fenner's Golden Relief.
What he says will be appreciated by the
thousands who have experienced instant re-
lief from pain by the use of that wonderfully
effective compound:
FREDoNIA, n. Y, April 6, 1875.
DR.. FENNER-Dear Sir: You will please send
me another bottle of your Golden Relief. II has
become a fixture in my house as medicine We
consider IL invaluable ana cannot do without II.
must here relate an anecdote of your valuable
Golden Relief In the fall of In, in jumping
from my carriage sprained my ankle and was I'm
able to walk. An agent of the Buffalo Courier
called al my house (of course you know what he
called for was to collect my subscription and
finding me in great pain commenced telling won
derful story about a most wonderful medicine that
he had found in Buffalo and that he would 90 and
bring to me for trial, it in his valise In
agine my surprise when | found it was your
Golden Relief-made here in Fredonia! | sent to
a ,oft.. sit,fri
pain entirely left and speedy cure was obtained.
This agent of the Courier said he could not live
without it, as he was almost a constant sufferer
from Neuralgia. and that it the only medicine
that gave HIM instant relief. SO you will see that
as myself, and will add that, in all the numerous
cases where | or my family have tried it, it has
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der that we have learned to rely upon il in all
those cases for which you recommend it.
Yours truly, d. S. FORBES.
{. I. Moore, proprietor of the celebrated
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street, Rochester, n. Y, certified that Dr.
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throat more speedily than anything he has
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c. W. Tenant, Fredonia, n. Y, certifies
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lief cured him of a bad Rheumatism, after
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The bestfamilies in the land are now keep
ing it constantly in the house for family use,
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Ask for a circular entitled " Peoples Rene
dies" For sale by dealers.