Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-01-15
The baby's little game-Bawl.

inc oaby llttle game-baWl'
In what place are too heads better
than one? In barrel.
Patrick, lamenting his late better
half, said, "Och. she was jewel of a
wife. She always struck me with the
soft end of the mop"
A Philadelphia shoe merchant wrote
to his wife that he had become a con-
vert. to cremation. and she said: "Go
ahead; have your ashes returned c. o.
D. to me.
Fred" said young man. the other
day, after listening to his wonderful
story, "do you know why you are like
harp struck by lightning?" NO" says
Fred. 81 give up" Because a harp
stru% by lightning is blasted Tyre" "
A little girl. showing her cousin.
about four years old. star. said, That
star you see up there is bigger than this
world No, it isn't said he. Yes.
it is Then why doesn't it keep the
rain OFF,
"Why in the world don't you 60 to
work ?" inquired a citizen of a lazy
fellow who was trying to borrow some
money of him. Go to work ?" echoed
the man. how can do anything till |
know for certain who is going to be
next President?"
Doctor am pleased to say, Mrs.
Fitzbrown. ! shall be able to vaccinate
your baby from very healthy child of
your neighbor Mrs. Jones' Mrs. Fitz-
brown-'Oh, dear. doctor. | could not
permit that We do not care to be mixed
up with the JOneses in any way
Jack" said the blusbing damsel to
lover that her father had forbidden
the house. al don't care if your feet are
big. | love you just as much" well,
Sally. don't mind so much about the
size of my own feet. but | wish your
dads were little smaller; ] should
teel more confident, you know, about
staying"
The merry jingle of the sleigh bells
the sparkle of the crystal snow in the
lambent light of the moon. and the con
iiding creature the nesJles closely to hin
beneath the buffalo rodes, tenderly
clasping his eft hand in hers while hi,
right holds the reins. constitute thu
winter-nights poem that is floating
throught the doting lovers soul. anC
leave him in doubt whether to let g,
long to get his handkerchief out or draw
his coatsleeve across his nose.
A Story is told of a men who wen
for the first time to a bowling alley
and kept driving away at the pins, to tn
imminent peril Of the boy. who. so ia
from having to do in setting up tn
pins, was actively at work in an endeav
or to avoid the balls of the player whic
ratified on all sides of the pins withou
touching them. At length the fello'
seeing the predicament the boy was il
yelled out. as he let drive another ball
Stand in amongst the pins, boy, if 20
don't want to get hurt
An inebriated Jerseyman in Ne
York led by flaming posters advertiser
the play of The Forty Thieves at NiblO
went to the box. office and called for
d ticket-at the same time throwing dow
a So greenback. Or receiving in retur
SO and a ticket Che had expected
pay about 80 cents,) the astonishe
n country man, looking first at the none
. and then at the ticket, exclaimed: :
"H-h-how much dyer ask to (hi
: see these Forty Thieves ?" The tick
seller informed him that the price W
SO. WELL" said Jersey, thrown
n back the ticket, and looking sharply
s. official. ''yOu may k-k-keep yer tick
Il don't care about seeing the 9th
: thIrty-nipe.