The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1877-03-29
Queer, FancifuI and Literary.

A young Madagascar brought into
France inquired If all Frenchmen are
doctors. When asked why he thought
so, he replied that they all took his
hand and asked after his health.
Over in Ohio the other day they
got the defendant in will case to
swear that at the time he executed the
instrument in dispute he was 'idiotic
and of weak and upsOuud mind"
A Bnsto2 girl, when asked to look
through a telescope and see Venus in
all her glory" replied frigldly, Il have
no desire to see any member of my sex
who dresses as she is represented to-"
"Yew-sed up" was the verdict re-
turned 10y twelve intelligent jury-shcep
on the bodies of eight fleecy compat-
riots fatally poisoned on Ash - or,
rather, yew-W Wednesday, by eating
stale yew leaves, which had been
thrown into a churchyard.
''Monsieur go. will give the lessons
of English to gentlemen and laGys ut
rat thee most cheep." So says an ai-
vertisement issued by "MOnsieur,"
in French paper, who is obviously
admirably fitted for the work he seems
TO be willing to undertake.
A well-known physician was callC
to the house of a patient. "Ah, mad
am" he said, to the wife of the in
valid, ''your husband is lost. See,
his hands are already violet" "But,
sir, he is dyer" Indeed. indeed ;
that is very fortunate. Had he not
been dyer he would certainly have
been dead man."
An Englshman devised a trick that
| Q ITS anything of Yankee invention in
that line. He desired to be physi-
clan, but he had no education in medi-
cal education, and diploma was neces-
sary. So he hired a needy physician
to personate him before the examining
board, answer the questions, and get
the diploma IN his name. The plan
was successful, but there was subss-
quent exposure, followed by arrest.
The Woman's Mining Bureau, of
San Francisco, has for its President an
aunt of Clara Louise Kellogg, the
singer. The institution is intended to
furnish facilities for women to gamble
in stocks, but it is not a success. the
women who speculate preferring to op-
crate in the usual ways. The amount
of stock gambling done In that city by
women is represented to be large.
LsuIa D. Fair is ono of the heavy and
successful operators.
An Englishman, who..called upon Il Q
Pope reeently, says that the venerable
man remembered on what subjects lie
had talked to his victor five years be-
fore, and glided from italian into
French and from French into Italian,
just as he did then, and his whole face
frightened when his lips framed, as of
old, the ready mot, in which he has
never, in his sorest trials, been known
to fail. The acuteDess of his questions
US to affairs IN the East proved how
strong is the interest he still takes in
questions of the day, aud his jokes
about the Conference, and especially
about the Sultan, showed that beneath
the jOcular surface there lurkcd a sub
stratum of sErewd observation.
Miss Cora Dickinson, a young girl Of
twenty-five, arrived in Paris the other
day from South America. Her life has
thus far been che, kered ono A. the
Hge OF niteen, tired of the monotony Of
home, she ran away from her fathers
house With a large sum Of money. She
cut her hair short ami donned boys
gaIb. After becoming in succession a
| cabin boy, a clerk and horse dealer,
she turned up in Buenos Ayres, whore
she catered the army, still disguised.
She distinguished herself in the service
and b came colonel. Some months
ago, at Reeting o; officers, she quar-
relied with one of those present. A
duel followed aud she killed her ad-
versGry. Determining the dead mans
papers she found that she had killed
her eldest brother, who had left home
whca she wss two years of age. Hor-
rcT stricken, she threw herself at the
bishops feet, who promised to inter
csde with her father.