Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1877-07-19
A Laughable Story.


one of those nights in midwinter,
when the wind swept over the land,
making everything Jingle with its
frosty breath that was seated be-
fore blazing fire, and an old bache-
lor A. PetersGreen-about forty and
eight years old.
1t was just the night without to
make those within enjoy a good sto-
~ so each of us had to tell our favor
tie story, save Mr.. Green, and as he
was a jolly story teller, we were
somewhat surprised to hear him say,
Il have no story that would interest
you," so We had to find other enter
tainments for while, when one of
the boys told me to ask him how it
happened that he never got married.
So he did.
swell, gentlemen he began, ''it
don't seem right for him to tell how
that happened, but as it is about
myself don't care much. You see
when 1 was young We had to walk
as high as five miles to church and
singing school which was our chief
enjoyment. But this don't have
anything to do with me not getting a
wife, but / just wanted to show you
that we had some trouble in them
days to have our sport.
John Smith and I were like broth
ers, or like Mary and her little lamb
Where one went the other was sure
to go. So we went to see two sis
tiers and as we were not the best
boys imaginable, the old gentleman
took umbrage and wouldn't allow us
to come near the house, so we would
take the girls to the end Of the lawn,
and there we would take the final
kiss.
We soon got tired OF that sort Of
fun, and told John, on our way to
singing school one night, that 1 was
a going to take Sadie home. and that
1 was going into the house, too.
He said the old man would run me
il / did.
1 told him was going to risk it
anyhow, let come what would.
He said he would risk it II I would
So home we went with the girls.
When We got to the end Of the lane /
told the girls we proposed going all
the way.
They looked at each other in a way
didn't like too well, but said they
(the old folks would be In bed so
they didn't care IL we did.
They were little more surprised
when I told them we thought Of 60
ing in little while, but ali was quiet
when we got to the house we had no
trouble Of getting into the kitchen.
Then and there we had our first
court, and 1 made up my mind to
ask Sadie to be my wife the next
time came.
1t was past the turn of the night,
and as we had four miles to walk.
told John we had to be going. SO
he stepped out on the porch, but |
just as he did so, the sky was lit up
by lightning, and one tremendous
peal rolled along the mount
ain sides. Its echo had not died out |
In the far Off wales until the rain
began to pour from the garnered
OF the clouds. We waited
Tor it TO stop until we were all sleepy,
when the girls said we should go to
be d in the little room at the head OF
the stairs which led out to the kitch-
en-, as their father didn't get up early
we could be home before the old
folks were astir. So after bidding
the girls a sweet good highland
hugging them a little-aad wishing
them pleasant dreams, and pro mis-
ing them to come back on next Sat-
urday night, we started for bed.
We didn't have far to go. as the
bed stood near the head Of the stairs,
John was soon In bed, but as was
always little slow, and full OF curl
osity. I was looking around the little
room.
At last thought / would sit down
on a chest which was spread over
with nice white cloth, while drew
on my boots- So down sat, when,
stars OF the east, 1 went plump into
a big egg custard piel
Thought John would die laughing.
for he said / had mashed that custard
all to thunder. and the plate right in
two.
You see we had to be awful quie
so that the old man would not hear.
was now ready to get into bed, so
] put the light out and picked up my |
boots, thinking to put them In a
more convenient place, when down
my one leg went through pipe hole,
which had been covered with paper,
mp to my hip.
Now one part OF me was up stairs
while the longest part OF me was In
the kitchen.
As my leg was very long it reached
a shelf which was occupied by dishes,
pans, coffee pots, etc., and turning it
over with tremendous crash.
The girls had not yet retired, and
I could hear them laugh fit to split
their sides.
I felt awful ashamed, and was
scared until my heart was in my
throat, for / expected the old man
every moment
I extracted my leg from the con-
- Al |