St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1877-06-22
Squibs.

Squibs.
An indiscriminate slaughter of dogs is
All right, but remember
that every dog killed leaves several
hundred feas to he cared for and
amused.-Danbuwy Ne,Us.
The Elizabeth Monitor truly remarks
that "maidens too delicate to wash their
own tea cups, will play croquet for five
hours of a bright afternoon without an
intimatiOn of weariness.n
Blipkins says: 81 amt much on
problems in Euclid, and don't care
about evolution, but when man sits
down on a humble-bee at picnic, can
tell him how long it will take him to get
up just as well as any Professor at Yale"
1t is said that one of the missions of
our commercial traveller is to bring out
new styles in standing collars and prove
that the village billiard champion can't
play for shucks.-DetrOit Free Press.
Spurgeon says that no reporter ever
made correct report of his sermons.
A Uerbatim report of speech, sermon
or Grafton always makes the speaker
mad at HIMSELF Detroit Free Press.
All the Turkish ministers at COnstan-
tinople have turned in their private
tically evincing their desire to render
the Government a stable one.-N. Y.
Commercial.
AS the season approaches, we would
state for housewives, it takes fourteen
pounds of sugar to one pound of goose
berries.- Washington Nation.
The sewing machine agent, since the
patent run out, has to talk just as much
and just as fast, and tell just as many
lies for S2S as he used to tell for S135.
A young lady was asked upon her re-
turn from church, last Sunday, what the
text was, to which she unhesitatingly
replied, "Blessed are the dressma kers."
Fanny Davenport, the actress, has
been visiting Blackwell's Island, to
study misery. If Fanny wants to con-
brOadest sense she should watch man
pinning a fOurteen-inch collar on a fif-
teen-inch shirt rt-band.-DanbuYy Neps.
Young men who cannot raise the
money to go West, may enjoy all the
most attractive features of Black Hills
life by going out on the plains toward
Fish Greek, and wandering around in
the brush for couple of weeks with
nothing to eat.-Ronae Sentinel.
We are told that, ''when bid, the Ber-
lin gorilla will wipe its nose as daintily
as child of four or FIVE" And we all
know how daintily a child of four OF
five wipes its nOse-On its sleeves; and
how, pretty often, it doesn't wipe its
nose at -NOrriStOwn Herald.
The New England undertakers are
reducing their rates, in hopes, that the
number of funerals will be greatly in
creased thereby. Their prices have
been so steep heretofore that very few
persons of ordinary means had the
courage to die. They couldn't afford it.
-NOrrist0lUn Herald
A philosopher says every married
man should have dog in the house. A
dog will scare off robbers at night, eat
up stale scraps of meat, and when you
come home out of humor and find sup
per an hour in arrears, you can give
vent to your wrath by kicking the ami
NAL clear across the rOOm.-NOrriStOau
Herald.
The warm weather brings one relief.
The manufacturers of cough medicines
have withdrawn their advertisements
and the reader of the newspaper no
more sees staring him in the face these
startling lines: "Consumptives Be-
ware A little cold will lead to death ~
and so on. The cough medicine is now
put up in other bottles, and is sold as
! first-class hair-dye.
A Chicago man having been insulted
| by professional French duellist. took
the chap out on the Belgian frontier
and carved him up. So the Tribune
tells it. That American can now come
home. Chicago ought to present him
with memento-say the 204 pages of
tax sales, bound in sheep with brass
clasps.-DetrOit Free Press.
81 tell you, SIR" said Dr., one
morning, to the village apothecary, 81
tell you, sir, the Uor popuh should not,
must not be disregarded." "What,
doctorw exclaimed the apothecary,
rubbing his hands. "You don't say
that's broken out in town, too, has it 2
Lord help us! what unhealthy times
these are !"
''Did you ever" asked a transcen-
dental young lady just three weeks
from Vassar, of a young man, "did you
ever feel vague and unrestful yearn-
ing after beyond wild, strange,
impulsive longing in reaching out after
the unattainable ?" And the man said
he often had, last Summer, at such
times as he was trying to scratch a
square inch of bites, right between his
shoulder blades, and just out of reach
of everything.
The St. Paul Mimi Pioneer-Pr