The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1877-04-26

81 know she loved me secretly"
said Mr.. Ford, telling me of his court
ship of a Miss Bramble, over at Hare's
Corner s'but somehow could never
get her to confess it. | tried to work
on her feelings with presents, but she
baffled me. She used to say she hated
gewgaws and hummery; she was
fond of useful things; and SO my first
present to her was coalscuttle-gal-
vanized iron. When l handed it to
her she gave kind Of smile, and |
thought she was going to thaw, but
she didn't. So the next day | brought
her around couple of bars of soap
and a fine tooth comb. At first
imagined she was going to fall into my
arms and cry, overcome by emotion.
But no it was only her foot that trip
ped on the carpet. She took those
tokens Of affection as calm as statue.
They never touched her particle.
The next time I thought maybe I'd
fetch her with sixteen feet Of india
rubber hose, with a brass nozzle, to
play on the flowers in the garden.
But she held IN, she restrained her
feelings, she never let on once. She
grabbed those sixteen feet and passed
them out the back window with no
more manifestation of a widly-beating
heart than if she'd been clam.
ut puzzled me like thunder. Blamed
if knew how could break the ice.
| took around pair of tongs and a
couple of gridirons, but they never
faxed her. | offered her three-legged
skillet and a dashboard, but it was no
use. She had more self control than
any woman [ ever saw. went there
| finally with molasses jug and three
or four fat-irOnS. and the only DISPLAY
of romantic interest that she made
was to ask me if considered her an
internal fool, and when told her Of
course / didn't, she upped with the
dat-irons and heaved them through
the sash, and she chucked the mOlas.
ses jug over under the sofa. But she
never said right out that she loved me;
kept depressing herself, putting her
emotion under a safety.v valve, so to
speak.
"Oh, took her lots of things: cab.
bage-slicers, tack-ham nerS, stomach
pumps, sausage-machines, soap-stone
griddles, slop-buckets, dust-pans, dish
cloths, jtly.m0lds, whalebones, hooks
and eyes, legs Of mutton, recipe books
butter-crOck. and ever so many articles
which would have stirred up most wo
men, but she was too baShful to OwT
up; her feelings were too sacred to BIZ
revealed even to me. So one day
dropped in with a blue and yellow
door-mat and Dutch cheese. WheI
she saw me coming she seemed to bt
afraid she might give way and unlOOs(
the torrent of her passion, so she few
out of the room, making some remark
to somebody in the entry about idiots
didn't catch the drift of the CONVEX
sation. Blowing up the servant girl
s'pOse. And directly in came the
old man. And the first thing he die
was to kick me. Never sai1 word
mind you. but just walked near me-
and kicked me like thunder. Then he
slung the blue and yellow door mat il.
to the street; then he grabbed the
cheese and smashed it over my head
until smelt like glue factory. and
then he chucked me down stairs. I've
never been there since. love Mary
TOO much to fight with the old man.
thought may be she'd write to me,
but she has not, and it's queer, too,
for a passion like she has for me must
be killing her by inches. Don't you
think it must!''
had an opinin about that woman's
love, but l didn't express it. F0rd'n
90 round there again some day, and
the old man'II put 3 load Of quail-shoi
in him. Max Adeler.