The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1877-06-22
PITH AND POINT.

PITH AND POINT.
Cool, but not always collected-An
ice bill.
A CRYING evil-Taking the baby to
church.
PAYING the piper-Settling the plumb
er's bill.
TRYING times-Going to the dress
makers.
THE young mans first razor-His
fathers boots.
A FIERY TEMPERED woman ought to
marry Persian. They just worship
fire.
"THE kurds" says an Asiatic dispatch,
''are threatening the Khan" The milk
khan, probably.
THE prize for obscure punning has
been awarded to the man who addressed
his letters, "Chicago, Sick"
A NEVADA newspaper says of man
who has sued it for libel that she petit
tons the courts to stitch a golden patch
over his rent reputation.
IT is said to be sure sign that far
mer learned his farming from books
when he tries to keep the rain off from a
potato patch with an umbrella.
If DR.. Mary Walker continues to pant
for fame why don't she go and join the
Turks, and when the Russians storm the
Turkish stronghold she can throw her.
self into the breeches.
IT is an assurance of success to find
horseshoe just as you are about to begin
an important undertaking; but if you
find two it makes -horseshoerance doubly
sure.
SOMEBODY remarks that young ladies'
look upon boy as nuisance until he is
past the age of Is, when he generally
doubles up in value each year until, like
a colored meerschaum pipe, he is price
less.
A NEWCASTLE man at a London restau-
rant had called for the bill, paid it, and
was leaving, when the waiter suggested
that the amount did not include the
waiter. "Ah," said the man from the
north, "but aa didn't eat the waiter"
CHARLES (playfully)-" How much,
really, did that hat cost, Jennie ?" Jen-
ME (archly)-"I If you really want to in
spect the bills for my dry goods,
Charles, there is way to do it." And
what else could Charles do but propose
on the spot.
81 TELL you, sir, said DR.. one
morning to the village apothecary, 81
tell you, sir, the Vor popui should not
must not be disregarded. What,
doctor !" exclaimed the apothecary, rub
bling his hands. "You don't say that's
broken out in town, too, has it Lord
help us /! what unhealthy times these
are -
"WELL, DOCTOR" said man with
bouncing toOthache, who had been
standing in q dentists office for an hour
and half for his turn to come" Well,
doctor, you keep your patients waiting
a good while, don't your" "Oh, yes,"
replied the doctor, significantly jingling
his forceps, "but then the old adage
says a patient waiting ls no loss, you
know"
HOW SHE LOOKED.
Summer was shining in her eyes;
Her cheeks were bright with exercise,
Her lips like cherries.
The falling snow in crystals hecked
Her dress, and cloak and bonnet decked
With crimson berries.
Her hair, the hue of molten gold,
Around her head was simply rolled,
Hair soft and shiny.
marked, too, as she lifted high
Her dress, to keep her hounces dry,
Her feet were tiny.
OLD Ben Tappan, once-noted Ken
lucky politician, replied to man who
was denouncing him: "Sir, 1 will pay
no attention to anything you have said.
No remark that you can make will draw
any response from me, sir. L have
known you now for forty years, sir, and
you were Id dog when l first knew
you, and you have been a failin' ever
SINCE"