The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-12-29

man of the least sense would approve of
your conduct" said an indignant hus-
band. 'Sir," retorted his better half,
&" how can you judge what any man of
the least sense would do?"
A fellow went one night to see his
sweetheart, and for long time could
think of nothing to say. At last, snow
beginning to fall heavily, he told her
that his fathers sheep would be lost
"Well," said she, kindly, taking him
by the hand, "rll take one of them"
Lifting the trail of the dress is
piece of idiocy now accomplished with
the left hand. 1t is vulgar and not suf-
ticiently idiotic to use the right hand
Presently, man with helmet hat will
be taken along to attend to this precious
business.-C OWrier-JOUrndL.
The Boston Globe gives an evidence
of understanding double entry:
DR.. WIFE. Cr
Dec. ~ to cash. $50 90 ByChristmas pres.
By profit and loss 40 25
An Elko Chinaman went home in
toXicated and was met at the door by
his wife, who dubbed him unmerciful-
ly. A passer-by remarked: John,
your wife heap fight" YES" he re-
piled; " she too muchee sabee. She live
long side Mclean woman tlee month"
-EIho (Nev, Post.
"A pair of very chubby legs,
lncased in scarlet hose;
A pair of little stubby boots,
With rather doubtful toes;
A little kilt, a little coat,
Cut as mother can
And 10 before us strides in state
The futures looming man,
Come on with your dressing-gown
and slippers, boot-jack, foot-rest, Jap
anese ware, encyclopedias, gold watch
and chain, building lot and railroad
shares. Wen agree to be taken by
surprise every time, to be overcome by
emotion, and still make few eloquent
and well-chosen remarks accepting them
all.
The winter is closing in upon the
clergymen of this country with most
appalling severity. A season of inces-
SAINT and pitiless donation parties has
been arranged by many of the denom-
nations, and the prospect is that hun
dreds of ministers, who are not able to
keep a dog, and don't know how to fire
a gun, will perish from starvation.
We referred last week to the sad
fate of Mr.. Bates, of Vermont, who
dropped dead while carrying in fire
wood. The paragraph did not have at
all the expected effect, and over twenty
Romans complain that they are obliged
to carry in wood by the cord now. One
man on Liberty street detected his wife
taking wood back to the wood-shed so
she could make him bring it in again.
-ROnle Sentinel.
Mr.. Jones sends in a complaint that
the lining of his overcoat sleeves is not
in condition to promote happiness; his
vest has to struggle along with one but
ton and two bottomless pockets, while
his pantaloons only have anchorage for
one suspender, land YETI writes this
unfortunate Benedict, with a big blot
that but dimly obscures suppressed pro
family, "every chair in the house is
loaded down with tides. "-BreakfaSt
Table.
Some headlines from paper pub
lished for boys: Free nd Easy Ned;''
"Tipton Blue; or, the Jockeys Mis-.
siOn;' "Corkey; or, the Tricks and Trav.
els of Supe;;" Bob Short; or, One OF
Our Boys" detective Dan; or, the
Irish Ferret THAT Boy of Ours; or
Tom on His Muscle;'' 1.-The Chemist
Murderer" "The Suspicious Wife,
"a Terrible Secret" If the American
boy is not gradually drifting into hope
less idiocy, it is from no lack of enter.
prise on the part of publishers.
CHRISTMAS DAY is COMING.
When snow lies deepupon the ground,
And winter winds are blowing,
And on the hearth with cracking blaze
The winter fires are glowing;
Then thro' the land a magic voice
A pleasant song is humming-
Friends parted long shall meet again,
For Christmas Day is coming.
The schoolboy hears it at his task,
His heart is lighter beating;
The plodding student lifts his head,
And thinks of home and greeting;
To old and young, to rich and poor,
The gentle voice is humming-
Friends parted long shall meet again,
For Christmas Day is coming.
The dreaming poet hears the voice,
1t seems though bells were ringing,
And angel choirs Christmas song
To all mankind were singing;
He echoes forth the notes of peace,
The voice to him is humming-
God bless each friend, forgive each foe,
For Christmas Day is coming.