The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1877-04-28
VARIETY.

The FoUR-YEAR-OLD's PRAYER.-Her father
has been away from the city on business for
two weeks, and the mother has taught the
little one to conclude her evening prayers with
sand please watch over my papa" Last
evening the little lady solemnly clapped her
hand and said " Please watch over my papa
and you'd better keep an eye on mamma too"
A Yankee having told an Englishman that
he shot on one particular occasion 999 snipe,
his interlocutor asked him why he didn't make
IL / 600 at once. "No," said he, Sits not
likely I'm going to tell a lie for one snipe."
Whereupon the Engiishman, determined not
to be outdone, began to tell a story of a man
having swan from Liverpool TO Boston. Did
won see him yourself?" asked the Yankee,
suddenly. why, yes, of course l did. l was
coming across and our vessel passed him a mile
out of Boston harbor.' Well, I'm glad ye
saw him, stranger, cos yer a witness that 1 did
il. That was me-"
PISTr HE HADN'T THOUGHT OF.-It was
a friendly discussion on an incoming train from
the South.
a am in favor of settling this thing at the
point of the bayonetl" shouted the "wah"
wal, frien' 1 amt" was the reply of the
ex-rebel, So fur L knows what pints of the
bayonets isl does-they is too doggoned
peeked :"
cooling down, and growing thoughtful, 81 hadn't
calculated on that
AN OBLIGING WITNEss.-We once knew an
Irisbman who bore evidence before q commission
ON the west coast OF Ireland. Among other
questions, as he seemed rather discursive and
inclined to aver anything, one of the commission
asked him if they had many whales there ?
So Is it whales - answered Pat. "Sure, you
NAV see them, like wather engines, spouting
all over the place Another OF the COM
missioners gravely asked if there were any
doc-6sb there. "Dogs, magorra! fax, yed
Ho1 voSJ paSSei the NIGHT there Sure
we can't slape for the barkin' of them ~ Lastly,
one of the other commissioners asked him, ''if
6vinp fish abounded ?" The answer was
- Arrah, an if we didn't put up the shutters
everv night there wouldn't be a whole pane of
class left in the house for the crathurs bateing
Seainst them, sure This ended the court,
and .he next day this genius came to ask for
his expenses, e~xcIaiming, "Sure, now, honey,
didn't / swear to everything ye asked meY'
jim KEENE's WAY.-Speculators who lounge
in Jim Keene's private Office during stock ex-
change hours describe his way of operating as
beine remarkable. When the market gets dull
and the current seems setting against his in
terests he becomes extremely lively.
Elbows Lake ?'' he yells at the "pad shower"
fresh from the exchange.
HLake Shore is 25," replies the broker.
80 Sell two thousand at the market!'
Another broker enters.
SHOWS Lake now ?'' inquiries Keene.
80 Fifty-two and one eighth
81 Thunder and lightning. 80 that's the way
they lick it up Want Lake, do they ? Anxious
to buy Lake! Well, they shall have Lake, Run
over and shoot 'em five thousand ~
The broker goes to the exchange, sells the
stock, breaks the price to sig, and returns.
How do they feel now ?' inquiries Keene.
a. Got enough Lake, l guess !" Just here he
looks at the 81 ticker" The price has reached
to SO. He jerks the tape out two feet or more.
walks about the room, gives orders to sell
twenty or thirty thousand shares, turns the
exchange into excitement, sees the price break
two per cent, and putting in a few orders to
nick up some stock on the general demoraliza-
ton, relapses into comparative quiet.-[New
York Sun.