The Russellville Democrat., 1877-03-22
FACTS AND RANCHES.
It Was Not Love.

It Was Not Love. The banquet OCT the ball-roem's charm l Awhile seemed gone the lights had faded | Fair Anna took my profiered arm And in the hall we promenaded. Bat while-her hand within my own We whispered words of softest meaning, felt her shudder, heard her groan, And found her gently 'gainst me leaning. "what, dearest, thus thy bosom stirs ?" asked. !" Alas, doth Loves soft malad-- y-" Then she pressed my hand in hers, And murmured, "Oh that lobster salad !"
 PRIZE conundrum--Why don't a wo- man like to hear her husband make public speech? Answer (by lady)-- because she don't.
 A SPRINGFIELD (Mass.) minister prayed for the lord to bless the Boston and Albany road if it stopped running Sunday trains, and not otherwise.
 JOSH BILLINGS says he knows people who are so fond of argument that they will stop and dispute with guide-board about the distance to the next town.
 ENGLISH journals complain that the tone of American journals is not as high as it should be. Let us all commence tomorrow to say nothing and be more like English newspapers.-FreeP Press.
 THE English Dr. Kenealy is used-up man. He is unpopular, and the com mon people no longer give audience to his harangues. Such is the final usual fate of demagogues.
 THE poem of "John Gilpin's Ride," by Cowper, has eighty three per cent. of it's words in one syllable, while Shak- speare has eighty-one and Dickens seventy-fve.
 PUNCH, apropos of the late wet weather in London, offers the following sentiment: "The empire on which the sun never set-and (of late) very seldom raisesp
 IN America it is not considered quite right to make will without charitable bequest, but in England nobody expects a great landlord to leave sixpence to but his own people, and as rule he fulfills expectations.
 TIE poet who wanted to be granger, and wrote "beneath the tall tomato-tree I'd swing the glittering hoe" was not 80 badly informed as he seemed. Mir. Scott, of Los Angeles, Cal, has tomato-vine twenty-five feet high.
 A FOREIGN critic says that no rival is so serious as the Sympathetic, vain mar ried woman who has petted and aattered the bachelor and is bristling with anx- iety to do the same kind office for the benedict.
 THE number of square miles in the United States is 1,0S8,663. The real and personal property in the United States is $29, ,S42, ITS, ,443. The number of persons who cannot read are 1, A, ,503. The number of those who cannot write is :, ,551,3l1.
 It is suggested that indications of changes in the weather are so often afforded by the movements of migratory birds, that such movements, if properly studied, would aid materially in making up correct weather warnings.
 ONE of the billsnow pending in the Wis consin legislature abolishes sentences for specific periods in punishment of crime, and leaves convicts in prison until the warden believes they are "thoroughly re- formed'' That is simplicity itself.
 "SIR," said one man to another, "be- ware To day you have kicked me. Yesterday you struck me. Day before yesterday you pulled my nose. Take care, sir, take care, or you'll rouse the sleeping lion."
 NOVELTY is what makes the world in- An Italian who wouldn't look around the corner of his house to see a sunset that would intoxicate us will come here and grow wild over the spectacle of man stuffing link sausages.
 ''AIoToR" Keely reserves a salary of $6, 900 year as president of the com pany. This with the possession of a fine residence, makes hiT quite com fortable, and he can afford to go on with his experiments if the stockholders can.
 "WHAT does your mother do for a living, little boy?" Justice Otterbourg of New York inquired of an eight.year- old urchin who had been arrested for begging on the streets. "She gets drunk and has the rheumatiz," was the culprit's answer.
 FLORIST was showing an lrishmanover his establishment the other day. "Now," said he, "we'll just look in fora moment at the germinating house." "The Ger man 'ating house, is it?" replied the other. "Troth and Pm glad, for it's hun gry am. But isn't there some Irish dhrinkin' saloon list as handy p
 A THREE year old little girl at Roch- ester, N. Y., was taught to close her evening prayer during the temporary absence of her father with "and please watch over my papa" It sounded very sweet, but the mothers amusement may be imagined when she added: "And you'd better keep an eye on mamma, tool"
 AN old lady received letter, and sup posing it to be from one of her absent sons, she called on person to read it to her. He accordingly began to read "Dear mother" then making stop to see what followed, as the writing was rather bad, the old lady exclaimed; "Oh, that's my poor Jerry; He always suffered"
 JUDAH P. BENJAMIN, once confederate minister of war, but Q. c. enjoying the largest commercial practice at the En- glish bar, lately returned all his briefs for the Guildhall sittings, accompanied by checks for the fees he had received with them, because all his time would be taken up,by causes at Westminster Hall, and he did not think it right to retain payment for business which he couldi attend.
 "OBsERvER," in the Christian Reg ister: The only thing sad in the taber nacie or it's service is Mir. Sankey's sing ;oc A yo;oa cnpohin;po great powar