Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1877-10-02
8 TR L X f r. . .
WHEN, HOW, AND WHERE TO STRIKE

Strike right and left till you win good name;
Strike for your freedom from all that is vile;
Strike off companions who often beguile;
Strike with the hammer, the sledge and the
axe;
Strike off bad habits with burdensome tax;
Strike out unaided, depend on no other;
Strike without gloves, and your foolishness
smother;
Strike off the letters of fashion and pride;
Strike where it's best, but let Wisdom decide;
Strike a good blow while the iron is hot;
Strike keep striking, till you hit the right spot
81. Louis Times.
A two-foot rule-keep your feet dry
Er.
1t is easy to defend the innocent; but
who is eloquent enough to defend the
guilty?
1.-THE tune that old COW died on" must
have been written in be6f-tiat.- White
hall Times.
''There isn't vegetable says the
Worcester Press "that can ketchup with
the tomato"
The saddest moment of boys life is
when the circus music strikes up and he
hasn't any ticket to go in.
The bow who sneaked off when his
mother told him to draw water, didn't
sleep well that night. Sore back.
I sot me down in thought profound
this maxim wise I drew It's easier to
luv gal than maik gal luy you.
A mayor out West has determined to
kill half the dogs in the city, and tan
their hides with the bark of the other
half.
In Bath abbey is to be seen the follow
ing epitaph: Here lies Ann Mann :;
she lived an old maid and died an old
Mann"
The blood of some of our best young
men will flow if the grasshoppers ever
reach this section. They devour eve
ny green thing.
Stein bought dog recently; $50 dog.
Good dog but marvellously thin. So
thin that when he lies down he cuts the
carpet. -Hdackeye.
A woman suggests that, when man
breaks his heart, it is the same as when
lobster breaks one of his claws-an-
other grows Immediately.
Chief-Justice Shea, of New York, who
has just returned from a visit to ireland,
is accused by the New York World of
being a "Corkagian" (Caucasian.)
"You're smart fellow,n sneered a
lawyer to witness the other day in a
Brooklyn Neurt. Cpd return the COM
pliment if I wasn't under OATH" replied
the witness.
If you want to get up reputation as
apoet prepare q poem that viii look like
pair of stairs and call it Only'-only
a baby or cold potato, or an unconse-
quential article Worcester Press.
What is the difference between a
school-boy studying his lessons and a
One is stocking his mind and the other
is minding his steck.-NovistoaOn Her.
aid.
The Coauier-Jooundl wants everybody
to pronounce its place as though spelt
''Loo-i-vil," because the town was
named after an old Frenchman. This
city was named after an old old italian,
so the pronunciation must be Chinchin-
nawti.-Cfncinnati Commercial.
A scientific writer says that death by
lightning stroke is the most painless
death in the world. We don't know
about that. We never talked with a
man who was struck by lightning; but
man whose wife once caught him kiss
ing the hired girl told us in confidence
that he would never have believed that
man could suffer as much in thou
sand years as he did in twenty seconds
Brigham Young's death was under
discussion at an English dinner-party
when young lady rather startled the
guests by advancing a bold proposition
that the principles of Mermonism should
for bnf ,1ty no
she said, ''are so bad, and fashions so
expensive, that it is absurd for one man
to have four or five wives whereas, if
each woman had four or FIVE husbands,
see how much cheaper it would be for
each husband and"-the point which
seemed most to commend itself to her
chow much better wives could dress ~
WHAT HIS VISITS WERE LIKE
"Your visits remind NE of the growth
of successful newspaper" said Uncle
Jabez, leaning his chin on his cane, and
CHANGING at William Henry, who was
sweet on Angelica.
How SOP" inquired William Henry.
well, they commenced GA a weekly,
grew to be tri-weekly, and have now
become daily, with a Sunday supple
ment."
YES" said William Henry bracing
up, "and alter we are married we Will
issue an extra"
"Sh-h," said Angelica, and then they
went out for a stroll.
Children who have been the pets of
the house are almost invariably afflicted
with jealousy at the advent of new ba-
by. A lady asked little boy under
these circumstances how he liked his
little sister.
II don't think she agrees with me, ="
he replied.
"Why don't she agree with youon
~ don't know he said ''but I
couldn't bear to see mother kiss herr
The writer of the above says:
II was showing my watch to my
nephew, who was about six years old.
He pointed to the face of the dial and
said, "Why, there is another little
watch !"
said, "That is called the second
hand"
He tossed his head contemptuously,
a'rd walked off, saying, II wouldn't own
secondhand watch" He had heard
"f secondhand watches, and thought
this was one Of them.
WHY SHE DIDN'T FAINT-At 10
"''lock yesterday afternoon a young
Ill n with very white eyes, and q girl of
,flhteen with very long curls, stood to
- Their on the city hall tower to gaze on
=: beautiful panorama below. In
minute or two the girl began to feel gid
"F, and as the sensation increased she
cried out:
Oh! Will! Pm going to faint awayW
whats up ?" he shouted as he put
an arm around her.
"Oh! Pm so-so-rm-so-.U she
g0sped as she began settling down.
Here, now don't you do it ~ he
h nifty exclaimed as he held her up
II love you like all jewhittaker, and
lou know 1t, but | couldn't pick you
"a, and carry you down them winding
airs If | was engaged to the whole
mlly Brace up now! If you faint
I'll run"
She didn't faint, but it was necessary
70, him to keep his arm around her for
tn, next fifteen minutes.