The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-08-03
LarnentabIe Outlook for the Children of
Uncle Sam.

Uncle sam.
a humorous writer to New Yorl.
paper says: Yesterday was sitting in
my Office vainly essaying to stab an OBJ
trusive fly with a quill pen, when q
stranger entered the open door. carefully
selected a chair and seated himself with
asigh. He was attired in suit of rusty
piack, and in person was tall, lank and
cadaverous. Apparently he had seen
better days-a good many of them. He
calmly removed slouched hat from his
dome of thought, wiped his Corinthian
brow with his coat sleeve, and spoke as
follows:
Are you the proprietor of this
ranche?"
Eyes, sir; what do you wishY"
wei, l thought I'd drop in and see
you. want to draw your attention to
alittle matter. Now, would you suspect
that the United States is bankrupt
absolutely bankrupt"
"Never dreamed of such thing"
"Thats just it. The people go on
thoughtless and careless, and all the
time the country is plunging madly
down the sleeps of corruption to ire
trievable ruin"
You don't say.'
eyes, sir, it's a solemn fact, and it's
about time something was done about it.
The Goddess of Liberty is going around
without a cent in her pocket, and 2,OOO,-
900 of her children are begging for
bread Look at our prisons and poor
houses-chuck full every one of them,
running over with paupers and crimi-
mails, aud for every individual within
their walls there are hundreds outside
who ought to be there. Look at our
railroads! Rates high and stocks low.
locomotives drawing more empty cars
than loaded ones, shops running on hall
time, track hands all discharged, and
rails rusting from disuse. Look at our
steamships! Full Of rats and rotten
planks. No business to speak Of, going
to Europe with little or nothing, COM
pared with the cargoes they used to
carry, and coming back with less.
Wharves tumbling down and floating
away by piecemeal. Look at our me-
chanics out of work; tools in the pawn
shop; children hungry; wives hope
less. nothing left but suicide or the
poorhouse. Look at our merchants.
Business at a stand-still; counters COW
cred with dust Of day before yesterday !:
yardsticks laid away for future refer
ence; proprietor gazing wistfully out of
the window in search of customer
that cometh not. Look at our army.
No pay ,lno ambition; takes them all sum-
mer to whip band ofcrippled squaws; !;
country too poor to pay them, and
soldiers can't fight without cash. When
soldier pawns his sword for the neces-
saries of life, he pawns his courage
with it. Than look at our navy. Bless
you. there's nothing to look at except
few old wooden hulks. We haven't a
vessel that could cross Long Island
Sound in a summers breeze without
falling to pieces. Navy, indeed Why
blind man afloat in a washtub, armed
with a Colts revolver, could sink our
whole navy inside of fifteen minutes.
No wonder Europe lauges at us. Now,
what is the remedy for all this? Work,
untirtng, unceasiug work. By indus
try we thrive. Let us one and all put
our shoulders to the wheel and lift the
mired chariot of commerce out of the
iboghole ofbankruptcy into the smooth
highway ofprosperity and start ii roll
ing once more. By the way, am out
OF work at present, and if you could
lend me quarter till l find a iob"-
In my haste to get upI unfortunately
upset the desk, and when reached the
door with the quarter the tramp had
vanished, and was not.