The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1877-11-29
WIT AND HONOR.

WIT AND HUMOR. ~
SPELL wife with two ,letters-Yf. =,
A BARE spot-The Northern pole. 49,.
A FIGHTING dog--A West Pointer.
The fourth of a man--A quarter mas
ter.
"ARosE, by another name, would be
"got up" 1+..-.<
MISERY loves company" So does a
manageable young lady. -.. 1872,
THE worst bank to be wrecked on is
one of the savings variety.
THE man, who said he was out on
lark was really out on a swallow. u
SoME men: are like a bass drum, the :
more hollow they are, the louder the !
noise they make. ..s... sc... ,... e.. ;
A DETROIT. man who has been stone
deaf for eighteen years was recently
taken into court for hearing.
The man who writes an illegible hand
never reads his own letters. THAT is
the other fellows business" he says. 80
IT is astonishing how soon q man ac-
knowledges his mistake when he puts
the lighted end Of a cigar in his mouth.
"OF all sad words of tongue or pen, 80 =
The ssddest are these, It might have BEEN
The saddest are these. " I'm out OF stamps"
The Lady Slipper" is the name of
a vessel just launched at Boston. She
must be intended for the whaling SER
vice. 49, .s.. :--.. -.-.... .se
:'s My Lord, said. the foreman Of
Welsh jury, when giving in the verdict,
"-we find the man who stole the mare
not guilty. Ia =
A PENNSYLVANIA child is said to in
herit the eyes and nose of its father, but
the cheek of his uncle, who is an .insur-
ance agent.
ST HOPE this hand is not counterfeit Q"
said lover, as he was toying with his
sweetheart's hand. "The best way to
find out is to ring it?" was the reply.
. Sr1KNs playfully remarked to his
wife that he had four fools: Beautlfool,
dutifool, youthfool, and 9delightfool.
g Poor me T. said she; 81 have but
one" -... ....... ........,
A FATHER of three sons and five daugh-
tiers was asked what family he had. The
answer was: 81 have three sons, and
they have. each five sisters" "Mercy!"
replied the interrogation, "suoh fam
lily !" .....
"WHo is your warmest friend ?" asked
the teacher. "My MOTHER" yelled one
of the boys. "Your mother?" eyes,
she warns me every dayp The teach
or has given up her missionary work.
Chicago Journal.
In struggling to make dull Drained
boy understand what conscience is, a
teacher finally asked, "What makes you
feel uncomfortable after you have done
wrong?" 7"The big leather strap, feel
ingly replied the boy. ..-- s. -.--1
AN invalid Frenchman who hired a
horse every evening from livery stable
keeper particularly desired the hostler to
see that the horse had nothing to eat for
dinner. because, he remarked,
"Monsieur lie docteur he say I mus TAX
re gentle exercise on re empty stomach"
"TH1s is George the Fourth, y said an
exhibitor of wax-work for the million at
penny each, pointing to a very slim
figure with a. theatrical crown on.
his head. "I thought he was very
stout man." observed a spectator.
" Very likely" replied the man, short
ly, not approving Of the comment Of his
visitor; but if you'd been here With
out whites half SO long as he has, you'd
been twice as thin %
IT'S just as TELL you, Mrs. Brinker;
nay own husband saw 'en1 with his two
eyes, an heard 'em as plain as I see that
bile On your nose at this minute, an he
says that the long an the short of twas
that they was both comm out of church
by different aisles, an met by accident,
as you might say, at the door, when Tom
speaks up for politeness, an says, Nice
evenin', and she snaps out, full O. spite,
NO, stree 7 an now she's maxim her
brags that she'd give him the mitten. -
Cincinnati Breakfast. Table. .fs.,.:see,:33