West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1877-10-13
EVERY DAY.SPICERIES.

4
mon enough. But at whose cost?
ONE of the greatest wonders of this
world is what becomes of all the smart
children.
In Maine they blow out the contents of
eggs and fill the shells with whisky
The eggs they sell for dollar and half
dozen.
NATURE, rogardiul Of the babbling race,
Planted no beard upon womnn's face;
Not Rogers razors, though the very hest,
Can shave chin that never is nj rest.
A CORNER grocery was burned i'm In
dependence, Mo-, the other day, and the
local paper states that the " fire fiend
shriekcd in the lurid gale and tossed it's
livid hair to meet the inky pallof the
bending heavens"
A HopoKEN lady, in yawning, re-
Gently, put her jaw out of joint, and il
was two days before the doctor could
put il in it's place again. Her husband
said he hadn't had such vacation be-
fore since he was married.
New York Graphic: How many mem
bcrs of the American Scientific Society
can tell how many spokes there are in II
buggy wheel, or the best time to clean
cellars, or can plug leaking water-pipc,
or fix II smoking chimney
A DISTRESSED mother" writes To n
newspaper for advice which she gets
thusly; "The only way to cure your
son of staying out late onights is To
break his legs, or get the girl he runs af-
ter To do your housework."
NoRRIsrowN HcraH: A Chicago
fashionable clergyman has failed. Liza
bilities fifteen thousand dollars; assets;
twenty-five pairs of worked slippers, as
sorted sizes, thirteen dressing gowns,
thirty pen-wipcrs two dozen fancy pin
cushions, nine watch pockets, and seven
cushions for easy chairs.
SAYS the Chicago Journal: can
Amateur poet writes To us To say that
there is no rhyme for the word scalp"
Nonsense, here's one:
"oh, " eera burly savage should lay hold upon my
scalp,
I'd hate
To par, with IL; you bet would--my heart would
--IR9s%s.o
BRIGHAM's tombstone, il is said, will
bear the simple but appropriate inscrip-
tion Our Husband" And years hence,
when all the Mrs. Young sleep beside
her husband, the row Of headstones will
an acre panel of board fence, white
washed.
"AND he struck one terrible blow,
Judge" said witness i'm New York
Police Court. Where did he strike
your asked the Magistrate. con the
corner of Fortieth Street and Third
Avenue, your Honor" OF course the
culprit got the full extent of the law.
THE SUNRISE NEVER FAILED US YET.
Upon the sadness Of the sea-
The sunset broOds rcgretfully;
From the far lonely spaces, slow
Withdraws the wistful afterglow.
So out Of life the splcndor dies;
So darkcn all the happy skies;
Sogathers twilight, cold and stern--
But overhead the planets burn.
And up the east another day
Shall chase the bitter dark away;
What though our eyes with tears he wet2
The sunrise never failed us yeti
BURLINGTON HdDk-Eye: II is thought
that Brigham Young gought 10 have recov-
cred from his cholera morbus, but when
IL came to fighting with twenty-seven
women, each with different kind of
mustard plaster for her dear husband,
and new kind Of herb tea, il was too
much for him. Every woman laid her
plaster where there was room, and the
prophet went down to his grave like Il
sandwich.
NoRRIsTOwN HerdH: DIR. Hans Won
Bulow, the pianist, says: "If stop
practice for one day / notice it in my
playing, if / stop three days the public
notice IT," It is different with the young
man who practices down the street. If
he stops for one day the whole neighbor-
hood notices IL, and feel like paying
him five hundred dollars never to begin
again. If he doesn't stop for two days,
the neighbors ask the police to notice il
as a nuisance and if he doesn't stop for
three days, they get down their shot
guns and go cunning for him.