St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1877-05-04
Marrying in France.
[Appleton's Journal for May.I

[Appleton's journal for May.[
That young girls and young men in
France are sedulously kept apart, that
wOOing and winning are unnecessary
preliminaries to a French marriage,
are facts that have been commented
upon /; but how they marry in France,
and the etiquette of that very formal
and business like ceremonial ,and the pre-
liminaries considered necessary thereto,
are, we believe, but little understood
on Our side of the water.
The first thing to be done is to go
through that time hOnOred formality
called popping the question. But ii
French aSpirant for matrimonial hOnors
is not allowed to make his proposals in
person to the young lady. That would
be sad breach of les cORUendnceS, and
would probably horrify the jeune per-
some out of her seven senses. A friend
is charged with the delicate office of
asking her parents, not if they will ac-
cept Nj. SO-and so for Il sOn-in-law, but
if it would he agreeable to consider him
i'll that possible light. Should the an
swer prove favorable, the gentleman
may desire an interview with the young
interview the young lady must not he
present. In this first interview all busi-
ness questions, including the important
one OF dowIy, and the almost equally
important one of the young mans for
tune, expectations, etc, are settled.
Should all these preliminares be favor
ably arranged, second interview is
decided upon, and the day and hour
vigorously settled beforehand. Exactly
at the specified time the future bride
groom must present himself. carefully
but not too carefully dressed-that
point is essential. His betrothed, in
elegant but simple attire, awaits his
coming, surrounded by her parents and
relatives. After this first visit he is
entitled to he received as a pretendu.
but must request admission to this priv
ilege either 10y writing or through one
of his near relatives. Permission once
accorded, he is then for the first time
presented to his lady-love as her future
husband, and may afterward visit the
house on an intimate but not a familiar
footing. He must always come in full
dress, nor can his fdRcee receive him in
other han very careful toilet. A morn
ing dress, no matter how fresh or taste
ful, is completely inadmissible. The
gentleman must invariably send his
fdncee bouquet on the days he i'll
tends to call. The engaged pair must
never be permitted to indulge in
tGte-a-tete, nor can they call each other
by their first names without using the
pretiXes of monsieur and mademOiselle
An engagement ought to be kept Il Sc
cret, and should be officially announced
only il few days before the signing of
the contract. OF course, French en-
gagcments are usually very brief, such
Il life of constraint and formalitv being
agreeable to neither party.
These preliminary fOrmalities having
been scrupulously gone through with.
next comes the question of the we'd
ding, or rather weddings, for our French
couple must he married twice over, once
at the mayoralty, in accordance with
the law, and once at church, to satisfy
religious scruples. This latter cere-
mony is by no means essential to the
legality of the marriage; but not to
be married in church is considered
proof of irreligion and repubicanism
of the most ultra type. Now comes an
amount of bother which, TO our ex-
tremely simple ideas as regards mar
rage, appears TO he at once stupid and
unnecessary. As necessary prelm-
nary to the civil marriage the bride and
groom must arm themselves with half
dozen documents each. First comes
the dcte de nGiSSdnce. or birth-certificate:
then the consent in writing of both
parents, or if either or both of them be
dead, the proofs of their decease, ,and the
consent of grandparents or guardians
in their stead. If you aIe 60 years of
age, and have parents still living, this
written consent is still Indispensable,
unless, indeed, you go through the for
malIty of the trOiS SOmmdtiOnS respectu-
eaSeS, which consists in ''respectfully
sOmmoning" your recalcitrant parents
three times to show cause why YOU
should not espOuse the beloved of YOUR
heart, after which you can do as you
please. But such proceeding is look
ed upon with so much disfavor by
French society that it is only resOrted |
to III very extreme cases. If YOU are
an officer III the army, you must get
the permission of the minister of war
to your nuptials, and he will not grant
it unless the bride possesses either a |
dOwry of 10000 francs, or settled in
come of 1900 francs Il year. All these |
consents obtained, next comes the pub
licatiOn of the bans, which takes place
not only in the church, but also at the |
mayoralty. The signing of the con-
tract is the next formality to be fulfill |
ed. Usually, in Paris, this ceremonial
is made the occasion of family festi-
val, and special dress is prepared for
the bride, very often fac-simile of the
wedding dress, only in some delicate
eveningdress tint instead of white.
The notary reads aloud the contract,
after which the bridegroom rises, bows
to the bride, and signs his name after
ward passing the pen to her. She signs
in her turn, and must then hand the |
pen to the mother of the groom, who
must give it in turn to the mother of
the bride. These little points of eti-
quette are strictly observed. All the
other relations then sign in turn, ac-
cording to age or station. 1t is consid-
cred great honor to obtain some high |
parsonage as witness to the contract.
If there is a .fete given on the occasion,
the cOr6eitte or wedding presents of the
bridegroom, and the trOusseau as well,