davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29
A Puzzled Dutchman Made Glad

A Dutchman once heard sermon
by preacher who did not believe in
immersion for baptism. In his dis.
course he attempted to explain the
proposition ''into," asserting that it
meant simply going down to or near
the water, and being sprinkled. AT
the close of this very labored dis
course the preacher gave an opportu-
nifty for any present to express their
thoughts on the subject. The Dutch
man accepted the invitation, and re-
marked as follows:
"Mr. PREACHER, | ish so glad | YES
here tonight for has had explained
to my mint something dat | never
could believe before. Oh, / ish so
glad dat into does not mean into at
all but shust close by or near to, for
now can believe manlsh things vot !
could not understand before We reat,
Mr.. preacher, dat Taniel vas cast into
de ten of lions 'and came out allie
Now, never could understand dat
for de wild peasts would cad him
right off; but now it ish very clear to
my mint. He was shust close by OF
near to, and did not get into the ten
at all. Oh, / ish so glat vas here to-
night. Again we reat that the He
brew shi ldrens was cast into de firish
furnace, and dat always lookt like 9
peeg story, too, for / drinks dey would
have been purnt up; but it ish al
plain to my mint now, for dey were
shust cast close ply or near to de firist
furnace. Oh, | ish so glat ] vas here
tonight.
sAnd den, Mr. preacher, it ish said
dat Jonah wash cast into the whalesh
pelly. Now, | never could under
stand dat; put il ish all clear to- my
mint now; he wash not taken into
the whslesh pelly at all, but shusI
slump on his pack and rode ashore
Oh, | ;sh so glat ! vash here to
night'
sAnd now, Mr.. Breacher, if yor
will shust explain two more pashage'
of Scripture, | shall pc, oh, so happy
| wash here to night! One of dem il
we're it saish de wicked shall be cast
into lake dat purns NIT FIRE anc
primstone alwaysh. oh, Mr. Breach
er, shall pc cast into dat lake, if
am wicked, or shust close py or near
enough to be comfortable 2 | hopes
you will say | shall be cast shust Ply
a good way off, and | will pc so glat
wash here to night De oder pashag'
is dat vich ssish, blessed are deJ
who opey desc commandments. da
dey may have right to dey tree o
life, and enter ia through de gate
into de city. Oh, tell me shall get
into de city, and not close Ply or nea
to, shust near enough TO see what
have Iost,and | shall pc SO glat | va
here tonight. F"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29
The BOX OF HONEY.
From the Detroit Free Press.

Mrs. H. seated herself hastily at
the table. Her right hand rested
firmly upon the handle of the teapot,
position plainly indicated to Mr..
III. that the customary blessing must
be cut short. Conspicuous among
the neat filings of we'll ordered
tea table were the steaming hot bis
cult and plate of that delicious
honey from their own hive among
the clover blossoms in their garden.
The olive branches were not
there. They never bad been--there-
fore, order, neatness, precision, gov
erned the mirutest details of the do
mestic economy.
Domestic peace requires its sacrlti-
ces, and the chief of this is quiet &C.
quiscence. Mr.. FL. had learned this
also, and for its sake, though some
times 'riled' and 'nettled,' be acqui-
esced!
In this instance, be snapped off the
truly thankful with one hand on
the butter-plate, giving evidence that
there should be no unnecessary delay
on his part.
DO you remember said Mrs. II.
with honeyed accent, how beauti-
that honey is? Notice the liquid
transparency of the comb and the
honey as translucent as liquid
pearl | never saw anything so
lovely How thankful we ought to
be 10 know thst we are privileged to
live in o world where even the sting
ing insects are made TO minister to
the deIicacy of our most exquisite
taste. We must take box OF tina,
honey with us tomorrow to oui
friends in Boston. They will be SC
delighted TO receive box of our owr
honey, from our own hive In the gar
den, won't they dear?'
'Likely, but how are we TO carry
| it?'
Garry it? | am not to carry it
You are to carry it,
Not If know myself. I'd like te
see myself Juggling q box of honey al
the way to Boston
But you will though - pity ii
cans have my own way once in
while
Once in WHILE muttered Mr.. ID.
making deadly thrust at the butter
and adding something that sounded
very much like damn the honey Of
words to that effect.
However, next morning small
box of honey neatly wrapped in
copy of the Baptist Register, nigh
have been seen beside the satchel OIL
the hail table. The trunks had beer
sent down TO the Jenny Lind
small packet that took passengers .
far as Rookie, ter TO connect with tn
cars. and Mrs. Ii remarked
sYou'l take the honey and I'll TAX
the satchel.
'Tn have nothing more to do will
it,
Don't forget the honey he hear'
her call back from the gate as sh
walked off with the satohel, and sooi
receded around the corner. Picking
up the box he followed, nutterinl
all sorts of ineoherent adjective
about women's wilkins and nonsense
The monotony of the packet tril
was varied by the usual games O
checkers and backgammon 10 on
end of the cabin, while in the othe
a ssrolling musician was tipping
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29
WHOLE NO. ITO.

| toners choose TO offer, why continut
the Law upon the statute book? Eli
who first said External vigilance il
the price of liberty" told very inn
portant truth. See how near ".
came last winter to losing not only
the liberty of the individual, but O.
school districts, towns, or counties
to purchase or use school books un-
less they were published by one GER
tain man Now if ever the people
should be deprived of what little
liberty they have remaining, it will
be done by taking only one of their
RICH from them at time. There
is cunning in this; for should they
propose to take all the peoples rights
from them by one act of the Legis-
lature, there would be danger OF
their rebelling; the fraud would be
so enormous Rnt exnarianna enns
to prove that when only one right is
taken at time, people generally
submit to it, after little grumbling,
Thanks to our Representatives, par
ents and school districts still have
the right to say what books their
children shall use, and they may still
purchase them in the best market
they can find, but how long they will
retain this right depends upon the
amount of vigilance they use. But
it is folly to make laws against evils
when it is known that they cannot,
or will not, be executed. Suppose
our legislators had got it into their
heads that extravaganza in dress was
an evil that it was their duty to put
a stop to by law, and had enacted o
law making it penal offense for
any lady to appear in public with a
train over three feet long or hustle
over eight inches in diameter, and
then Miss Flora McFlimsey had sent
a telegram from Paris, stating that
trains tor the spring fashions would
be six feet long and bustles fourteen
inches in horizontal diameter? Now
how car that law be executed? But
stop: | am asking a question that /
cannot answer myseif Will the read
er examine the question and make
an estimate of the probable amount
of cost that would be made in run.
ming case Of this xind through the
courts, and then please state, what,
10 your opinion, woul be- the effect
Of the law? Would it reduce the
length of trains or the thickness of
bustles? LUTHER Brown.
Patch Grove, March 81, II.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29

THE --LATEST Thing. The Aurors
(IlI.) Daily Ne,Us has discovered Q
new society agony. 1t is called"con'
versatlonaI a5breviations.,, and the
following is a specimen
A first class chat stands something
like this "Do you abbreve ?""Why
cert. Don't you ?" Bet. / think, |ts
splend, don't you p "Maguif." 10
ing to hear Carl Schurz's lee n o,
he's on Hays cab and @ont zee 3,
here" as that pos p DEAD cers'
"Well. it makes no diff to me: o., l
wasn't going.n aWnat's tbs feAs
ooh NV f.; coming up that eve
aD;d y5dr faith go TO tie lnaug Z.
Myaat, the Pres ina'g at Wash
go" "Mine did. He Jays 1t was just
ell" "My faiths Tem ne puts an
sh' behind his ab,reve for elegant.
He isn't Christ then. Why don't
you take him to the Gosp meets ?"
ale Won't have it. Well, / must
skip-told moth I'D be right back.
Good aft" "Bye." sta" TAU"
"Ad.'
That's only sample; will you
take some.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29

Ii Virginia has earned the proud
title of "Mother of Presidents" then
New York can certainly lay claim TO
that Of "Mother of Vice Presidents. I"
The Old Dominion has contributed
five presidents, while the vice presi-
Dental list bears the names of six
sons of the Empire State. These are
Aaron Burr, George Clinton, Daniel
II. Hopkins, Martin Van Buren,,
Willard Fillmore, VIM. A Wheeler.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29

Fennimore, March, 1877

SOME reliable signs of drrnkenneSS
by Uncle Schp6ider: a.
h;o shdoexings wild der pood-ohacks.
. Il he schrears efery each dwo
aonds dot No don'd care cent for
somedipg and be don'd vas afraid who
knows dot.
2 If be can'd shbeak der word
"Yhysician" midout calling it "Fiz-
zhin."
A. If he can dunn BILE himself down
by der ground much bedder as bick
up himself again.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29

s'That bed is not long for me,
said very tall, gruff old gentleman,
upon being usherd into his bedroom
by an Irish waiter at one of our ho-
tells, "Faith' and you'll find it is pref
ty long, sir, when you get into it,
was the reply; "tor then there'll be
two feet more added to it,"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29
rerms $500 Per Annum
Advertising Rates.

Annual advertisements payable quarterly. same
reset quarterly without extra charge.
Advertisements set TO double column % per cent.
extra. ~
Business cards, lines less, s. per annum. Each
ex ira line 81. .,a :, IN e..
4 weeks Each additional animal described IN same
notice so cents. - -.
sneofaI notice. and business notices in news type
10 per line rst insertion cents per line each
subsequeH insertion. ...
f,ommissioners' Notices. Attachment Notices and Es
trav Notices (ef animals taken up).
All kinds Of Job Printing promptly anu neatly
.xecuted Terms Cash, on delivery of Work.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29

A gentleman preferred wearing
holes 10 his socks to hav'nS 'nen
darned, because" he salo ~ no'e :
may be the aeoident OF q day, put .
darn is premeditated poverty.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29

THE State tax for 1877 as agreedup-
on by the Legislature will be 1898,
s75.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29

BLOOMINGTON HOTEL, SIMON WoODHOusES
Il Pronrietor. bloomington. Wis, Having ren'te "a
aud built ample room fer the aes0m mosste them
ai fnrnisbed rooms good beds and well sup
piled tables saElpiei'Vu SLAP
stahttng.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29

ToRsTdANN HOUSE. next door east Of the Phelps ne
House and Opposite the BANK Lanea casts, - aS
s,isi, The Iorstman House is now ready 10 az
@ommodate the travelling public with Good and Com
iortabe Rooms The comfort and security o. h an9
h"o,rsctio, with the hotel, will continue 70 De
tak III with the hes. of liquors and cigars; laiI
hare 81 patronage is solicited Ample staollus anu
~ attentive hostler in charge, HENRY IoRsTNANN'
a4y3S
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29
AuctiOneer

Nzy BATEMAN LICENSED AUCTIoNEER 10
w Gated ST North Andover, Grant Co. Terms reas.
orahFe 50ml0>
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29

DEEr}WN HOUSE, W. @. WILCOX, PRoPk l r
b tor Having purchased the hotel at Beeaowns
-. ,rsnare,l 10 serve the public in proper msnn.l
NJ tsbIe and hrst iass accommodations generatly
Snltnhle stable attached. =
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29

In 1870 there were l,s53,2ll barrels of
rude oil refined in Pittsburg.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29
Dental

Y.KER SURGEON DENTIST, BLOOM
= wis. All work in the dental line done S 81 n
~ bsst manner and warranted.
DPyE CooMEs, DENTIST. BoscoBEL, Wis Sd
omcsoyer sawyer Favor's store Can De io an
.,inr boursfrom 9 A. NJ till5 Pm.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29

r,ESNIsTEN HOUSE, W. W. FORBES, PRoPRI,E =
tnr. CassviIie, Wis The house has been ist sI
rsitteI and refurnshed throughout anu no p9 i
sii1 III shared 10 accommodate guests Good stabhng
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29

NsIoN u0UsE. LANCASTER, WIS, MARY
III Mvia = SON. proprotors. The Mansion House IS
ne yaatted and reiurnished for the better CON- e
nieuce of the travelling public
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29

ANoAsTER HOUSE, L. LIsHERNEsSs'P K Mnds r.
| tor Lancaster Wis. Successor to Y >; hyte
- ~ House has been re-furnshed throughout, no
GAINS spared for the guests
wellproyided, stAoHns 30-42
"A "a att endance.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29
-.l-s-asl.alss
Hotels.

nUELPsHousE, IRA II. BELLOWS, PRoPKlsshn 1aS
tsneaster, Wis Having furnished the new tnIee
vbrich hotel on the old hotel corner, am pre-,
a.ras ID accommodates guests reasonably. Rooms
FURNISHED aud Iable we'll suppHeo' An ~ 90
lie accommodations
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29
Masonic,

4 ANCASTER Lodge, Ne. 20. +. A. NJ, meets on
| the lstaud 81 Saturday Of each month, at p NJ
T. T. BALDWIN. See. JOHN q. CLAKh, Master
January. 1s7I. o4rss'
~ RANT CHAPTER, REGULAR C0NVoCATIoNS
Of Grant Chapter No. ~ of r. A. NJ, Lancaster
"a and 4th Tuesday Of each month.
6. 4. BAEsA2- Seoy. l52ml0l 6. Z. BUpp, HP.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29

oRIMIRR HOUSE, CORNER OF EIGHTH Il l. AMP ~
| BLUM streets, Dubuque, Iowa. BAKNA~p 90 %
prNrN
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29

There arc moments in life when the
spirit receives whole volumes of
thought on its unwritten leaves.
And this was one of them to Mr.. IL.
as with each particular hair standing
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29

80 ,,3pE UOTEI. b. L. LOOMS, PROPHET
VI The travelling public will take notice that anu
srepared to accommodate them with board 90 20
Il. alton tive hostlers and good staplihs.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29

HODGES & CO., BANKERS AND DEA nI.a
IN Exchange and Government Securities; Pate
vile Wis Particular attention gwen TO a..
~, ad pro nptI ' emitted on day OF pay Inen'
Rafay TO Henry Clews Co, N. L. Edgert3n T.;
Second NatiVH"t ''h 30-42
Galena.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29

pvIAND pANKER, LANCASTER, WIS.
NJ no.si.s racaived Foreign aud domestic exchange
eotI and United states bonds bought and SO 500 a.
T5s NEGOTIATED and collections attic nded TO- % 40
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29
Banks.

,1IRsT NATIONAL BANK OF BosooBELv, aR EiSSa
Co. Wis John H. sarss Pres. Geo oi; :. h1 Tb
brand VI Pres. Miles D. Tiilotson, easn.er
Sa ansra BANKING Deposits received and
foan negotiated Prompt gwen 10 o En-
tions. Draws direct upon the p'iueip 3I-42
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1877-06-09
Justice.

A representative Of tho San Francisco
Post wsit~i on the managing powers oil
the Justice mine yesterday morning. ai
San Francisco. with tho following result
In response to . question ~ to WHISTLER
the strietest economy was exsreised In
running tho mine. he MAS shown the fol.
lowing extract from the report OF Messrs.
Smiley. Heneks and camblos, . commit.
tee appointed BY dissatisfied stockholders
at the annual meeting TO invNtigats the
Affairs 10 the company
"The utmost economy has been sxer-
cised In every department Of the mining
operations Of the company; that no work
men or attachecs are employed whose ser
vices can be dispensed with: that every
man On the pay rolls of tho company rem.
ders actual and valuable service, and that
for thu great expenses incurred the stock
holders have received u greater develop
ment than Il usual In mining operations.
''Your committee also rcport that the
Trustees Of the company are Individually
large owners 81 the stock. and every cent
of disbursements IL measurably paid out
VI their own pockets ani that ~ Tar ~
your eommittee have examined. economy
see ms " have bsen exercised In every
part Of the mechanical anal business do
partmonts Of the company"
Tho IS.t representative was then in
formed that the company was In debt To q
certain banking institution which had al.
vancei money to pay expenses. They had
been called upon for the money, % TO
meet the demand the assessment was lev
- N- Ill . ahA .AU. ma ~ -
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1877-06-09

- ~
The entertainment given last evening at
Miners Union Hall by the famous Steen
Brothers was attended by . select and APP
preciative audience. all present highly en-
joying what they saw and heard. Tho
feats Of lescrdemain, card tricks, etc..
were neatly executed, and the illusions
and dslusions partook Of the wonderful
and supernatural. Professor Steen claims
TO do all these things without s~uperhuman
aid. however. and to perform by good.
square jugglery all the strange phenomena
Of the s~piritualists. His illustra-
tons % second sight," assisted by
his brother James, were Of the most
startling order. and by no means easy TO
explain. Among the strangest features OF
the entertainment was the great spiritual.
istic ballot test. after the style OF Profess
sor Foster. Each person, or a. many a.
please. In the audience. writes whatever
question they see do on . piece Of paper
anil folds u up. These ballots are then
collected In q hat. poured out on . table
before Professor Steen and thoroughly
mixed or shufied together. lie then
opens each one, reads them one after the
other. not only answering than, but Inn
mediatsly ~iesisnatcs aud points out the
writer with unerring certainty. II makes
no difference how large the audience Ia. he
knows and points out the writer ~ soon a.
he opens the ballot. Professor Deck's per-
formance on tho zithcrn Vas worth the
price u the whole entertainment. He
PLAYED some choice operate selections,
''Sw,ct Home" 1.-THE Last hose OF Sum-
mer.'' etc.. In iino style. and the in
strument. although small In size. Oiled
the hall with most delightful harmony.
Another entertainment will be given this
evening. with an entire change Of pro
grsmme. All who neglected 70 attend last
evening should not fail To be present 10
night.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1877-06-09
Liberal R.iIsisas society.

Tomorrow evening. at Odd Fellows
Hall. u Liberal Religious Society will 10
formed for Gold iIill. similar to that so
popular and iiourishipg a, Virginia City.
Rev. Mr.. MeGrath 81 Virginia City will
deliver a lecture on the occasion. his sub
jcct being 1.-THE Evils % Nisdirected Be-
nevolenee." ~ an extra attraction. the
talented choir Of the Virginia Liberal Soci-
ETY. will be present and participate In the
exercises. At the close 81 the lecture the
society will bo organized. and all who wish
are cordially invited to Join. The lecture
will DO FREQ. and everybody invited. More
over. the society will bs conducted upon
the SAINT liberal principles, IL being one
which the poor as well ~ the rich can Join
without, fear ~ unnecessary and oppres-
sive taxation. There certainly are enough
liberal. minded people in Gold hill to form
. numerous and fourishing congregation.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1877-06-09
EUROPE.
oPE.
Progress Of the War Be.
tween Russia and
Turkey.
A TURKISH VICTORY OVER THE
MoHTEREaaISs.
The War Excitement in
Great Britain.
tssrcrAL DisrArcurs TO rHr Coin HUI
DAILY Nrwsl
ESPECIAL DrsrArcurs TO the Coin HUI
DAIY Nrws.l
The War In Earepe.

rue war in Eufope.
CossrAsrIxoPLr, June S.-The Monte
negrins, ON Wednesday, attacked Spurz
and vrrc dsfc.ted. ~,e,vinc ,vcntv. ave dad
81 - $500,
shu Say "ounNou'
vienna, June S.-Details OF tho night
ing IN the 4th instant, near Kristaz and
nj. .r..,h.ra No.. IA. ,o,o,,, ,,,,h
great bravery the whole day. The TURKS
Notwithstanding strenuous efforts. In which
thev Loaf a ON mcn. failed IN advance
near 70 Piys. The Monteneerins again
cntrenched Themselves along the pass be-
tween Kristaz and Presiaka.
I.oxpoS. lima Am Ostrok correspon.
dcnt. Who drawsb hi. Information from OH.
cisi Montsneorin sourcss. tclcgrsphs the
Following scconnt of tl,e recent operstlons
nnJer dste N .June 4 /: THE Turks moved
in tvo eolumns. one going 10 the rcliof of
0orsnsko. and The main force, under Su.
Lehman pashs, To Kristaz. Tho latter coll
nmn sttaoked Tho rntrenchmcnts OF Gen.
yokoyiss with great gallautry, but were TO-
pnise.i. beine twice driven back on their
rr.rryes' The thirJ attack was also re-
nuI.oS. the Tnris taxing mn n position OBJ
,ositc Eri.t.z' where tIcy ain remained
rhsn tho la,t courier l,ft." In splte OF
NM .llsced thirI ropulse OF the Turks,
the sccount proceeds 10 state that General
yokoyias feil back on his second limo At
Dugs' al so'clock uext morning. where ho
b.s mot Ieen molosted. II appears from
An rs,,ort rbich certainly DOES
sor ,,xnr,y vy,anrh,Ty
TIL. .,.,ss. NJ tho Turks, ,hat n General
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1877-06-09
i,pONCiiiTI..

N rom John Flag, Eco. Of Bennington. n. H.
"Thtv> years since was very much reduced
with $ dr,aiml couyh. which resulted In Bron'
chitis. af!ccilne me 20 severely o. 10 render "
dlfhcult 1, rpeak In an audible voice. To this
Was Aii-l severe night rw,ats. and I VS. fear.
fi OF going laio q decline. Aft~r rccoufSs Ia
yarions remedies tn no purpose, ! male nee oil
DR.. wi-tar'- rA'sam Of Wild Cherry. . foe bot.
iic- % which Iuily restored no 10 health.
Since that time ! have hNi several severe Of.
;acts of cough, but the Ialsap hae always ~.
moved them. I always keep II by me, aud
not know how 10 do Without L."
Soli by Ali hrusyists,