Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-02-14
Jokes on and by Physicians.
From the Corn hill Magazine.


Numberiess have been the Jokes
against physicians and the art of heal
ing; one Of the best, because uninten-
tional, was made by French lady,
whom we may call Madame X, and
who was in the habit of consulting her
physician, DR.. T., daily between the
hours of 2 and 8. The doctor was a
witty and charming man and they
talked of every subject under heaven.
One day, however, the Doctor came and
was denied admittance. He thought
there must be some mistake and order
ed the servant to announce him again.
This time the lady sent down a very
polite message informing the Doctor
that "she was grieved beyond measure
at being obliged to deny herself the
pleasure of his company, but she was
very ILL.," Doctors themselves, however,
have said the hardest things of their
craft. Radcliffe used to threaten his
brethren Of the faculty chat he would
leave the whole mystery of physic be-
hind him, written on half sheet Of
paper" The medical men of the day
revenge themselves for this contempt
by denying him any knowledge of
physic. In the same way, Nelson was
said by one or two enemies he had
made, or rather, who had made them
selves, to possess no knowledge of navi-
CATION. DR.. Radcliffe, by the way, had
an extremely Objectionable habit
namely, that of leaving his bills unset
tied. In his day each Londoner had
to pave the street in front of his own
A. hn
not pave it for him. A certain pavior,
who had been employed by the Doctor,
after long and fruitless attempts to get
paid, caught him just getting out of
his carriage at his own door IN Blooms
bury square, and set upon him. why
you rascal" said Radcliffe, edo you
pretend to be paid for such a piece of
work? Why, you have spoiled my
pavement, and then covered it with
earth to hide your bad work" "Doc-
tor" quoth the pavior, "mine is not
the only bad work that the earth
hides" "You dog, you," said the
Doctor; are you q wit? You must then
be poor, SO come inland he paid him.
Talleyrand, less good natured, TESTED
with his creditors and did not pay
them. Avarice and want Of pune
tuality in paying bills are not often con-
bined, your miser being in no ortal dread
Of Writs of law-courts; but Radcliffe is
reported to have been close-fsted as
well as inexact in his accounts. Probab-
ly both the one tendency and
the other have been exaggerated
by his detractors; but there is
q whimsical anecdote in ref
erence to one of the Doctors supposed
failings which will bear repetition. At
tending an intimate friend during
dangerous illness, he declared, in an
unusual strain Of generosity, that he
would receive no fee. At last, when
the cure was complete, and the physi-
clan was taking his leave, II have put
every days fee" said the patient, Gin
this purse, my dear Doctor; nor must
your goodness get the better of my
gratitude" The Doctor eyed the purse,
counted the days of his attendance in
moment, and then, extending his hand
by kind of professional, mechanical
motion, replied, "Well, can hold out
no longer; single I could have refused
the guineas, but all together they are
irresistible" That was not d bad joke
on the medical profession which was
made by clergyman in the time of
Cromwell, who was deprived of his liv-
ing for non-conformity. This parson,
a harmless man enough, went about
saying to his friends, 'sThat if he were
deprived, it should cost hundred men
their lives" Summoned before mag
istrate, he thus interpreted his words:
"Should lose my benefce, am re-
solved TO practice physic, and then |
may, if [ get patients, kill hundred
men,"
EX.POStmaSfar GannraI InuolIsc Dis.