Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-12-31
ANOTHER MARK TWAIN YARN.

clergyman, since the passenger Ast uiu
not betray the fact. He took great
liking to this Rev. Mr. Peters, and talk
ed with him great deal; told him yarns,
gave him toothsome scraps of personal
history, and wove glittering streak of
profanity through his garrulous fabric
that was refreshing to spirit that was
weary of the dull neutralities of undec-
Grated speech. One day the captain
said, "Peters, do you ever read the
Bible 2"
''Well-yes."
Il judge it amt often by the way you
say it. Now, you tackle it in.dead
earnest once. and you'll find it'll pay.
Don't you get discouraged. but hang
right on. First, you wont understand
it; but by and by things will begin to
clear up, and then you won't lay it
down to eat. %
"Yes, I have heard that said"
"And it's SO. too. There amt book
that begins with it. 1t lays over 'em all,
Peters. There's some pretty tough things
in it-there amt any gettin' around that
but you stick to them and think them
out, and when once you get on the in
side everything's plain as day."
''The miracles, too, captain q
'.Yes sir! the miracles. too. Every
one of them. Now. there's that bust
ness with the prophets of Baal; like
enough that stumped you?'
'.Well, | don't know, but
Gown up, nowt it stumped you.
Well, don't wonder. You hadn't had
any experience in raveling such things
out. and naturally it was too much for
| you. Would you like to have me ex-
plain that thing to you. and show you
how to get at the meat of these matters %
Indeed, 1 would captain, if you
don't mind "
Then the captain proceeded as follows:
'.I'll do it with pleasure. First, you
see, / read and read, and thought and
thought, till l got to understand what
people they were in the old Bible times,
and then after that it was all clear and
easy. Now, this is the way put it up,
concerning Isaac and the prophets of
Baal. There was some mighty sharp
men among the public characters of that
old ancient day, and Isaac was one of
them, too; it amt for me to apologize
for Isaac; he played it on the prophets
of Baal, and like enough he was justif-
able, considering the odds that was
against him. No, all l say is, 'tan'n't
any miracle, and that I'll show you so's't
you can see it yourself.
'Well, times had been getting rougher
and rougher for prophets = that is,
prophets of Isaac's denomination. There
was $50 prophets of Baal in the COM
munity, and only one Presbyterian that
is, if Isaac was Presbyterian, which
reckon he was, but it don't say. Natur-
ally the prophets of Baal took all the
trade. Isaac was pretty low-spirited,
reckon, but he was good deal of man,
and no doubt he went a prophesying
around, letting on to be doing land
Office business but twan't any use; he
couldn't run any opposition to amount
to anything. By and by things got des.
; perate with him; he set his head to
work, and thinks it all out, and then
what does he do? Why, he begins to
1 throw out hints that the other parties
are this and that and t'other-nothine
! very definite, maybe, but just kind Of
undermining their reputation in quiet
e way. This made talk, of course, and
finally got to the king The king asked
: Isaac what he meant by his talk. Say'
Isaac oh, nothing particular; only
can they pray fire down on an altar? i
> amt much, maybe, your majesty, only
can they do it? That's the idea s.
the king was good deal disturbed, ant
he went to the prophets of Baal, ant
they said, pretty airy, that if he had al
altar ready. they were ready; and they
intimated he better get it insured, too.
$50 next morning all the children anc
y their parents and the other people gath
n cred themselves together. Well, her,
e was the great crowd of prophets of Baa
c packed together on one side, and Isaa'
n walked up and down all alone on th'
Q other, putting up his job. When tim,
d was called Isaac let on to be comfortable
a and Indifferent told the other team t,
6 take the first innings. So they went a
it, the whole $50, praying around th'
It altar, very hopeful, and doing their leve
u best. They prayed an hour-two hour
It three hours-and so on, plumb til
d noon. 1t wasn't any use; they hadn'
6 took trick. Of course they felt kim
P of ashamed before all those people, ant
Q well they might. Now. what would
/ magnanimous man do? Keep still
wouldn't he? OF course. What di,
Isaac do ? He graveled the prophets 0
: Baal every way he could think of. Say
. he: You don't speak up loud enough
70 your gods asleep, like enough, or may
;e -,