The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-02-15

his eye, answered cOOlly ana cOmpOSedly,
"You have got me this time, your
Honor"
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS
Cardinal red is losing its grip.
Counter irritants-th lunch fiend bril-
gade.
Eternal spring can be found only in
rubber factory.
-Wanted-a company to insure the in
surance companies.
The infantry of the Church Militant
the Sunday School.
The London Telegraph says that Amer.
lean railroads are the safest.
Red hair is again coming into favor.
LetnO one be born with black.
Ripe old age is one of the things that
does not kill newspapers much.
The total rainfall for the season at San
Jose, CAL, has been only 2.73 inches.
-Nobody-everybody who holds or ex-
presses opinions antagonistic to ours.
The hemlock is coming into favor in
the Eastern cemeteries as material for
hedges.
What is that which, when brought to
the table, is cut, but never eaten? A pack
of cards.
How does man differ from the brute
creation? He stands upright; but he
doesn't act SO.
The Chinese did so we'll at the Centen.
NAL that they will participate in the
French Exposition next year.
-Coal-dealers are not always disagree
able persons, but they have 4 most un-
satisfactory weigh about them.
"A Newfoundland dog in New York
earns a modest but comfortable living
| by blowing the bellows in q blacksmith's
shop.
"A little extra work, without any extra
pay, is supposed to he healthy for Chicago
Coroners, although the Coroners vow that
it isn't.
Accidents are punishable with death
in Turkey. The Government whipped an
editor to death there recently for telling
the truth.
A French paper speaks of two Ameri-
can sailors drifting about for forty nine
days without food or water. That's pretty
steep, even for Paris journal.
1t is not the lack of blue glass that is
breaking down the health of the Nation
SO much, but the preponderance of that
other glass-the one that intoxicates.
The Chinese in San Francisco are
learning the trick of suicide rapidly, q
second one having just filled his little pipe
and smoked himself to death. Peace to
his hasheesh!
-" Existence after DEATH" says the
Rev. DIR. Joseph Cook, in a recent lecture
in Boston, "is but postulatc of the psy.
Geological analysis of the soul.', The
statement seems plausible.
Maj. Powell says the Indians have a
very wise proverb, Let man talk very
long and lie will bore hole in rock. !"
That is the reason people always call q
man who talks all the time +" blarsted
bore"
"A lawyer was noticed at a recent con.
cert enthusiastically applauding one Of
the singers. Fond of music, isn't he ~
said one acquaintance to another. mo"
was the reply; tits mere professional in
stinct. He is moving for new trial."
| "A terrible come down-A young blood
goes to a prominent physician and asks
for prescription for the govt, and is
slightly disconnected when the NJ. d. in.
forms him that it isn't the fashionable
govt from which he is suffering, but .
very bad bunionl
-"I' glad they're married. They
think alike and just fit each other" she
remarked, as she came home from the
wedding. II was glad to leave; they fit
all day like cats and dogs" she comment
ed, ungrammatically, after visiting them
six months later. And so that eternal fit
ness of things is ever being marred.
Young Mr.. Loveberry fell asleep in
the BARRIERS chair recently. When the
razor man finished his work and shook up
his customer, he remarked, sympatheti-
cally and respectfully: "Tired, Mr..
Loveberry?" "Tired, shir, tired ~ re-
piled the young gentleman with dignity,
mo, shir. Can't you shee I'm drunk, you
Qhic) you ijitg''
Anna 3. Hustled writes from Wash
ington: 81 overheard something worthy
of Mrs. Partington's best days at the Pres
ident's reception on Monday evening.
The wife of well-known contractor, who
found his business q bonanza, was ex-
planning why she had not been able to
receive calls She said: " We are building
an attenuation to our house,"
All, all; we knew these health lifts
would be the means of somebody yet. A
Bangor woman was exercising with one
of them the other day and burst blood
vessel, and came within one of dying. But
then she wasn't using it according to in
structions. She tried to pick it up and
throw it at her husband, who had refused
to trade it off for set of mink furs and .
beaver cloak.-Burlington Ha,ck- Eye
| II must say it! Human beings, con-
sidering how talented they are, are very
foolish. If not, why do they make other
living things afraid of them instead of
teaching love and confidence by their own
example? Almost all animals who see
men for the first time approach them with
out fear. / am told that when the natur-
alist, Darwin, went to the Galapagos
Islands, he there found hawks that had
never seen men, and they were SO tame
that be showed some of them gently of
branch with the muzzle of his gun,
while others came to drink from pitcher
he held in his hand. It is only because,
so often deceived and cruelty treated by
men that they have become suspicious Of
them.-St Nicholas for January.
/ "A st. Louis man has invented . new
style of lady's hat which he expects will
make his fortune. The idea which he I'd.
vances is that ladies dress for each othel
and that they demand in each other proof
! that . hat has cost 80 much. The fashion,
however, is frequently such that . lady
; does not look well in the most expensive
style, the mode not being adapted to hel
, face. He proposes hat made to suit the
wearer's countenance, inexpensive In itself
but with glass case on the side contain
. ing bank bill of such denomination -
the wearer can afford. This device viii
give to each lady an expensive hat, and q
the same time in no way mar her beauty
There appears fortune in the thing
st. Louis Repw6licGa.