The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1877-06-28
AROUND THE MOON.
scenes and Incidents in Mid air.

now SOASSAeS W a4ASAS tAAO SA pain
No man is more capable of tax
ing in the phenomena attendant
upon such a flight, or can more APP
preciate the beauteous scenes anC
exquisite sensations of a rollickine
dance through the impalpable cloud
realms. His observations with his
eyes while. up and his observations
with his mouth since he consented
again to tread the humble abodes Of
men will, when fully recorded, be &
mine in which science can delve fol
knowledge for ages, and from them
new theories will spring that will
overshadow the crude ideas OF
Koepler, Newton, Gallileo and the
balance of those old galoots. But
Completely equipped for the voy
age, with two twists OF tobacco, q
half-pound of graduated saccha-
rine and a spoon, he stepped into
the basket with some other fellows
who were to attend him, and away
they flew towards the blue vault
above, leaving yard after yard be
hind them until three miles OF
space lay stretched between him
and earth. AT 10000 feet he was
prevailed upon to take a drink OF
spirituous liquor (that was carried
along to see what effect the height
would have upon it's COLOR so as TO
note what effect it would have upon
his physical frame, and we extract
the following notes from his table
of observations:
"Took two fingers-left ear flap
ped up and down violently. Two
more-wart dropped off end of nose
and bootheels got cross eyed. Took
2 moar-corns came on z new toes
and crick in bootleg. Too INQUIRE
tongue hanged out 'er bloom like
dragrope. Air makes { hic! y sleepy"
1t will be noticed that Prof. A.
has no hair on his head, and it will
be proper here to remark that while
scudding along at break wind gait
across the azure fields ut height of
1878! feet from mundanity he had
gone up through the balloon and
was sitting astraddle its monstrous
summit watching the little devils as
they lodged in and out behind the
stars, guiding his visitor to the as
tonlshed star fields, and so careful
was he not to let his balloon knock
the stars out of place and to pre-
vent the stars from tagging holes in
the balloon, that he forgot his own
comfort, and the bristlIng empyrean
actually scratched all the hair from
his head. This came near proving
a calamity, for it turned out that
his hair was all that was holding
him down, and when it was snatched
off by the "Bear" he Immediately
left the balloon and shot up, up,
and still upper. The engineer be
low discovered his absence by the
balloon commencing to fall, and he
threw out Prof. AS pocket book
containing $4,000 in silver, and
started in pursuit of him, finally
taking him in in the third constel-
lation Of Cicero's Orations, 4 deg.
and min. west of Niblo's Garden
of Paradise. Here the party got so
cold that it shook the pegs out of
their boots and the filling out of
their teeth, and it ralned shoe pegs,
gold filing. pieces of teeth, dead
skin and hair around Lebanon for
a half hour. Extract from notes
made here:
"Took two fingers-teeth getting
better and skin peeling off nose.
Tuck tn moor-belched into bal
loon and we shot up 100 feet while
Ford and King were backing my
boots. luke 10 mooar-stomach-"
Here the bottle fell from his grasp
over the basket edge and quicker
than thought he was over after it.
The attraction of the balloon upon
the bottle was greater than the
earth's attraction, being so far away,
and hence the bottle followed the
balloon. BY the same rdle, the bal
loon followed Prof. A, and Prof. A.
followed the bottle because he was
not through with his spirituous OBJ
servations. Here they had it, chas-
ing each other around IN a circum-
gyratiDg maelstrom, wheeling and
spinning and eddying-swinging
corners and promenading, in a
never ceasing, staggering, vascilla
ting whirlpool, until all the occu-
pants of the basket were sick and
throwing up 50 much ballast that
they surely must soon have gone
clear away from this solar system,
but just here the cork popped from
the bottle with a report like a Hell
Gate explosion, and Immediately
the dance stopped. Why? Because
Prof. a. never chases an empty bot
tie. Prof. A. then sat down on a
cloud cap and made some observa-
tions. Extract:
Nothing to drink. See a fellow
picking gooseberries upon Pixies
Peak. Three South Sea Islanders
eating Brother Chickenbone. Pres.
Hayes slipping down cellar after a
drink. John Bull smelling where
Gen. Grant spit. Russians cross
ing the Danube-Gen. Butyour
durnbrainsoutski swimming over on
a rail-Grand Duke playing with
his pup, and three Bashi-Bazouks
playing pedro for beer
Engineer King here discovered
that the gas was escaping, and he
persuaded Prof A to climb in and