The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1877-10-12
LEGAL DROLLERIES.

that is said OF them in the newspapers may
have tinge of exagGe:ation. but we co
not doubt that there is considerable sub
structure of truth.
Wearied beyond endurance by the tedi-
BUSINESS of a long winded pleader, a Ken
tncky Judge put himself out Of misery
and his tormentor out OF countenance by
suddenly czclaiming ''If the court is
right, and she thinks she air, why then you
are wrong, aud she knows you is. Shut
! up -
Almost as rude in speech was Judge
Downing.
What are you reading from, sir? ?''
asked he of counsel.
From the statute of 1866, Your HONOR
was the reply.
"Well," '" said Bowling, ''you needn' t read
any more IN judge in this court and my
statutes are good enough law for any
body ~
This worshipruI gentleman plumeti him
self upon deciding according to the egui-
| ties of the case law and precedent to the
contrary Notwithstanding they went for
nothing with him.
Judge Alec. Smith, Western admins
TRAITOR of the law, when divorce case was
! called on, addressed the plaintiffs repre-
! sentative, and said II don't think peo-
pie ought to be compelled to live together,
when they don't wait tS do SO. | will de-
! cree a divorce in this case - and the par
! ties concerned were thereupon declared to
be no longer man and wife. Presently the
/ defendants lawyer appeared and was not
{. little surprised to find all was settled, that
| the Judge had decided without hearing one
side much less both. He protested against
such over-hasty proceedings, and appealed
! to the Court to redress the wrong he had
committed. The Cour;, not being inclined
to own itself in fault, he was informed it
| was too late to raise objections the decree
had been pronounced; but if he wanted to
argue the case, fright bad the court
would marry the parties again, and let him
| have ii crack az it,
When Miss Amelia Donnerschley claim
| ed two hundred dollars fIo,u faithless Au-
| guStus Berner for breach of PROMISE the
| gentleman justified his conduct Oh the plea
| that after living under the same roof with
the young lady and her mamma for eight
| months, he found it 50 impossible to live
comfortably with the one, tnat he was com
! PEELED to cry off with the other. The Judge
! inquired if the mother proposed living with
| her daughter after marriage, and receiy-
| ing an affirmative answer, asked the de
| fendaut whether he would rather live with
! his mother-in-law or pay $500.
"Pay $500" was the prompt reply.
Said :he Judge Young man, let me
! shake hands with you. There was a time
| in my life when | was in the same situa-
! tion as you are IN now. Had 1 possessed
! your firmpess, | should have been spared
! twenty five years of trouble. | had the al
ternative of marrying or paying Sl25. Be
| ing Door, | married, and for twenty-five
years have | regretted it. | am happy to
meet with a man of your stamp. Ihe
plaintiff must pay SO and costs for having
thought of putting gentleman under the
/ dominion of a mo her-in-law."
! The much married dignitary was not so
! susceptible to the charms of :be sex his
! b. either, of Iowa, who refused to tine man
| for kissing girl against her will because
| the complainant was So temptugly petty
| that nothing bat an overwhelming sense of
| its dignity prevented the court from kiss
! ing her itself
IL is lucky for an offender when his Judge
| puts himself in his place Justice Is sure
/ then to be tempered with mercy, as in the
| case of the snatcher of Spoons brought be
| fore a Georgia court many years ago. Bella
! Brown, WHO then went the circuit as Judge.
was an able man, in equal repute as law
! yer and as "A boon companion. The night
! before the court was 40 open at Dayton.
! His Honor went to a tavern kept by SJer-
! rit, and had such good time of 1t ith his
legal friends that by midnight he not
| quite so sober as a Judge should he. Some
! body cleared the table of all its spoons, and
! put them into the unconscious gentleman
| pocket. He was greatly pertuibed at fluid
/ irg them there next morning. They were
| sterrit's spoons without doubt, for they
| bore the landlords initials.
Polly" saiG the Judge to his wife, "was
! ] tipsy when | came home?
Yes she replied. ''1ou know your
! habits when you get among those law
yers."
Much relieved in his mind, the judge
declared he could understand how .le
spoons came into his possession. "That
fellow keeps the meanest liquor in the
- IL
! man steal"
A day or two aftelwa,d man was ar
raigncd for larceny he plead guilty, bat
urged lie iutoxIca ed when lie com-
4 mitted the offcuse.
s.What's the nature OF the charge?' in
quired Judge Brown.
/ Stealing money from the till at Ster
rit's TAVERN" replied the clerk.
young man., said the Judge, solen.nly,
care you sure you were tipsy when you
took this money?'
sYes, your honor when | went out
doors the ground kept coming up aud hit
ting me on the head
"That will do. Did you get all your
! liquor at Steiiit 5 ?''
Every drop, sir.
Turning 10 the prosecuting attorney, the
Judge said You will do me the favor
by entering RolLe proSequi: that liquor of
Sterrit's 5, | have reason to know, Il enough
to make man do anything dirty. l go.
tipsy it myself the other night, and stole
all his spoons. If Sterrit will sell such
aboninable stuff lie ought not have the
protection of the Court. MIR. Sheriff: you
may release the prisoner"
The Hon. kah Rodgers, commoly called
Old Kye, presiding i'll a Louisiana court,
thus spoke his mind, when summing mp an
action brought by AN oveiScer foI wrong IA!
dismissal from his situations:
.'The jury said his honor 'will take
notice thai this court is well acquainted
with the nature of the case Nhen this
court first started in the world it followed
the business of overseeing, aud If there Is
any business which this court understands,
it's hosscs, mules aid Diggers though this
court never overseed in its file less than