Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1877-11-07


The sight of British red coats does not
appear to cnragc Sitting Bull.
Never look Il gft-chcstnut in the
worm-hole," Solemnly advises the New
Orleans Star.
Love, the toothache, and tight boots
are things which cannot be kept secret
4 New York banker says that not
one business man IN four can tell a
counterfeit bill isom good one.
There seems TO he little use in putting
out good money If ii isn'nt half apprc-
GATED
The Detroit Free P,esS is not progress
sive. The first great need of this
country II says, is an ohelsk The
second great need is To have it tip over
and kill the man who FIRST referred To
the subject.
A woman can fall Hat down in a faint
and not hurt hersclfa bit, but finer hus-
band pushes her aside III the excite.
ment of finding his hat to hurry down
to the ward caucus 1t almost cripples
her for life.
Boucicault says that the Shakespeare
of these days l. editing newspaper
He has made illusions to us before.
but we appreciate the compliment none
the less on that account Kentucky Men
Era.
\ woman typesetter, writing to the
sun, suggests that the reason the New
York morning papers will not employ
women compositors is that in that case
,nnlI no, lau O.,
beer saloons.
Professor describing ancient Greek
theatre -" And it had no roof Junior
(sure ho had caught the professor in "A
mistake -" What did they do sir, when
it raincd p Professor, taking of his
glasses and pausing a momenn -" They
got vet sir. ~ rinca0nidp.
lie was pretty good at the play
business said Mr.. Grant, contompla
lively regarding the tomb of Shakes
peare, but | should like to have seen
him fighting Bob Lee or trying to be n
good president with Charles Sumner ~
chairman Of the committee on Foreign
| relations"
DO you always have such damp
weather rs this?' queried .thc lay dele
gate Eth r. said his hospitahlc enter
tainer in II startled tone. 81 said such
damp weather. replied the delegate,
with full emphasis on every letter of the
adjective, OH said the Bostonian,
apparently much relieved No, only
sometimes in the fall. '--Boaon Tran
script.
At the theatre: Husband" My dear,
hand me your opera glass Wife hands
over the glass, and husband takes long
look at pretty girl on the stage, not un-
observed by betterhalf Ten minutes
after. Husband" Let me have that
glass again, my dear Wife" 1t is in
the pocket Of my dress, sir, and shan't
take it out again this evening Hus-
band whistles softly.
One of the social stars of Paris il re-
buked by II friend, who says sternly;
Cora, if | were YOU should be afraid
of having bad luck The way You neg
lccted your poor blind father is awful,
and YOU so rich now" Neglect himy
Why YOU are mistaken" +" No, amt
Isn't he begging at a street corner not
half "A mile from here p We'll, and
evcrytimc pass don't give him "A
penny
Before, she could utter the " Whore
have you been till this hour Of the
morning anyhow which was from
bling on her lips, he said: Bin fther
mind rcadin'; bet yer seven dollars
can read yer mind this very mint
Wen, YOU old fool, what am ! thinking
of now?' said She in tone of sadness.
! "Thinking Of Why | can read yer
mind like ther open pages of 'er book;
! yer thinkin' I'm drunkern q blind owl,
I but yer never was worse fooled in yer
/ life" She only said that there must be
/ something in mind-reading after all, for
he had hit the nail right square on the
! head ---B Boston Post
4 police inspector being informed that
restaurateur in his baiiwick was scrv-
ing game out Of season, visits the res
taurant in multi and orders dinner
Waiter, says he, can you give me
soimi Of partridge?' Certainly, sir"
replies the waiter promptly, and yells
to the cook, " Partridge for one The
| inspector finishes his dinner lcisurely
and then says to the waiter, Ask the
boss to step this way minute" What
for?' II wish To notify him to appear
in court tomorrow and answer for sell
ing partridges out Of season" "Oh, !
guess it amt worth while bothcring him
about that" Do az tell you; am
the Police Inspector, and have secured
the necessary evidence against him"
80, | spotted yon, and guessed what
you were after 1t wasn't partridge you
had" Police Inspector (uneasily)-
- Villa twas it them Waiter cheer.
fully" Grow. "-Paris piper.