The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1877-12-30
CHAT BY THE WAY.

An Irshnan jumped into ths water and saved
miser from drowning. The miser presented MIN win
q sxpcnee whereupon the witty Ceit, turning Inc
coin over and over In his hand said, 'Sure. think
pve been overpaid Tor that job" Morai pay accord
ing to your own estimate OF yourself
Byron once put great truth into two lines. he
did not practise his own precept, and perhaps that
gives all Tho moro force TO hts utterance:-
ALL who joy would win
Must share t-happness was born twin
The difference between a man ana woman 10
clearly defined BY anger When man gets down.
right he feels Of the muscle in his forearm and
rolls out from his volcanic soul torrent OF polly
syables that mako you think Of thunder and light
ming Whom q woman gets reused she says with the
poet:-
Oh would were dead now,
Or UP in my bed now,
To cover my head now
And have good cry.
II you wish TO become popular with your congreaa-
ton Just tell them that you invited Mr. KIM
ball to occupy the pulpit next Sunday You Will
make many man feel happy In tho region OF his
pockebook which Is vital spot in these hard times
Is not true that the Lord made woman out Of tho
RIB Of man. bccausethat IL the most crooked part OF
the Uody.
Real wit does not choose Its time, but comes when
ever Il Is ready. "You seem to cough with difficulty"
said bis doctor Curran. "rhat is very SURPRISING
was the answer, "for l have been practising all
night"
Gratitude toward ones adopted country is good
thing but It may be carried TOO lar. "America,"
said Teuton, us der beat country IN der world.
hav vailed tree times, aud now leaves It TO spend
my fortune NIT my vamily. -
II you want to have happy homo play the role OF
Romeo and Juliet. ana forget that you have any
ability whatever to play in "The Tempest"
Every woman who has children must sooner or
later mediate seriously that part Of Scripture
which describes the .'sewng tho tares" The little
one's clothes demand II.
Don't take some else's money with the expecta-
ton OF paying it back, and don't do wrong act TO-
day you going 10 reform tomorrow. Just
read these lines, ana remember that white mon and
black mon are the color in morals.
We labors In de vineya'd workin' hard an workin'
true
Now shorely you won't notus, II wo eats grape
An takes leetle holidays leetle restin' spell
Bekase mex week we'll start in iresh an labor twice
as WELL
to have some to share your ''aloneness' with
Cowper who sang
How sweet, how passing sweet is solitudcl
Rut grant me SIN a.friend IN my retreat,
WnOm may Whisper, soiituoo - SWceL
There is experience which teaches o man all
about the proIoundest depths OF despair II is TO SIT
in barbers chair and just tho sharp edge OF the
razor reminds you that there jugular veins
close at hand to have some Invisible demon start y
sneezc. II thinks rapidly that's the time
one evidence Of the necessity for the Importation Of
civilization japan Is that in the vernacular Of
that sunny island there prolanc words. The
deficiency will, however be very rapidly filled up.
little acquaintance with the "trcks and the manners
Of higher Of society will compel the Japanese
learn tho English language In order to givo nttpg
expression 10 his emotions.
The temperance csuse has its trumphs hkc every
other great reform. man who is over 100 years OF
age just signed the pledge, and, being snatched
IRON premature grave by tho extinction Of an evil
habit he looks forward to lite OF sobrety and uso-
iulncss AS the Old lady SAID, on hearing it, "If he
hadn't wasted his life In riotous living he might have
been l20 years old by tais tme.i
Theology gets little mixed in the youthful mind.
.who made your" asked teacher OF little girl
She answered. s'God made me that length" putting
her hands about twelve inches apart, '.and growed
the rest myself"
Tyndall and Huxley have vocabulary of their own.
When they were sitting together on the Mat,ernorn
ono day tho following conversation took place.
Huxley-How Is your molecular action this morn
ings
'.Thank you kindly, Tyndali, my biopasts arc
pretty active just now. How is Is with your own
atOms?"
sAh, my dear friend, they are in state OF unstable
equilibrium and must confess that the definite
biuaton OF Heterogeneous changes, both Simultaneous
and successive, Is not in correspondence With ex
tcrnal cocxistencies aud sequences"
Tyndall simply replied with . sign, and then they
both sat down another BIT OF tee.
some people who call themselves liberals refuse to
influence the minds OF their children reigiously on
the high ground thai they want everything 10 be
spontaneous aud natural Tho consequence Is gen
orally that when the child becomes man no is mol
overburdened with scrupiss. Colcridgc onco said to
rhclwalI, who utter this sort and who was COM
planning Of tho weeds In Colerugcs garden, @oh that
is because want everything Spontaneous and natural
Tho weeds you sec. have taken tho liberty 20 grow,
and thought unfair TO prejudice the soil In favor
OF rosos and Strawberries" Can you the applIca-
ton
History repeats itself wonderfully. tender.
hearted Scotch preacher said 10 his congregation.
IAN moo ma friends let pray for she puir dceviL
There's nacbody prays for tho pur deeyL" We have
heard OF those who have prayed 70 tho SPUR deevi/
aud whose prayers have been abuncanuy answered,
but as for praying him. that Is Deyond our ken.
is about time to do something, however. for " our
modern theology succeeds cooling 90 tho Ores Of
perdition Satan will have sorry time OF IT, Like
otneilo. his occupation will be gone.
The Grst thing 10 10 make your sermon plain. Mr..
Blom Geld preached the text The fool hath said In
HIS heart, Thors Is no God.' Wishing 70 and out
how IL pleased his people, no called poor foolish man
10 the pulpit and asked him how he liked the sermon.
The reply, which made Bloomfield saddor and visor
man, was swell, sir. must say that can't agree
with you. In spite OF all you've said, think there
must DO God"
II was Epicetos who said III evil be said Of thee,
and lie true myself II it be lie laugh Al
IT, IL Is q curious law oil human nature snat the
man who argues on the weak SIDE Is sure to be the
first TO get angry, and II man becomes furious at
story that is being circulated about him. and dcnes
the whole world TO prove Il. II IS generally because
there truth In II, and he is afraid you will ind
10 out
Iyou do tho best you can you need have no fear OF
the result Science tells OF the minutes and tho