Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-05-11
An AdvertIsIns Agent.

We thought, from the way he
came into the Office. and slammed
his cane down on the table, aud took
the best chair, and spit on the stove,
and said: "Well, Gully, how does
the old thing work." that he was a
circus agent, but his card showed
him to be a modest, uupretending
advertising agent of a Wisconsin
paper. He had just come from Chi
cago, he said. We said: "Ah!"-
not because there was any particu.
lar original brilliancy in the remark,
but because that is what we gener-
ally say, with rising accent on the
final syllable, when man tells US he
has been to Chicago. eyes," he
said, he had been to Chicago. "Had
we a man up there?" "No, we
hadn't" "Well," he said, "don't
send one there; just waste of time.
Pve been there nearly three weeks,
and 1 just club myself every time !
think what fool | was to throw
away so much time that / might
have put in somewhere else to ad-
vantage"
"Didn't he do anything in Chica-
go?" we asked, rather tin.idly, for
we began to see that we were in the
presence of Master Mind.
"Naw-w-wl" he snarled, in most
contemptuous tone; "hardly made
expenses; didn't pay salary; there
three weeks, and only come away
with So, ,76O worth of ads. All cash
of course, and that makes it little
better, but didn't pay for all that
time. How much Chicago advertis-
ing are you carrying?"
We couldn't tell him, indeed,
without consulting the business
manager, but we were confident that
the Has0k- Eye had, at inside figures,
at least three or four dollars worth
of live Chicago advertisements. We
began to think what a jewel this
man must be on the business staff of
a daily paper. "Was he going to
St. Louis?" we asked.
He burst into a snort of derisivG
laughter. "Been there" he said,
sand amt going back until times
pick up a little; deadest place you
ever struck in your life; nothing do
ing; just nothing. Why, l was
there ten days-ten whole lOng days
as Pm truthful man, and only
got-let me see-I'll give you the
figures"-and he pulled out his note
book and ran over the leaves and
down long columns of figures-"yes,
sir, l was in St. Louis ten days to
an hour, and only got $4,227.5O, and
81, ,s96.75 1 have to take in trade,
and only 50, $50 cash in advance ads.
Don't you send a man to st. Louis
if you don't want to pay his fare
home"
(which way was he going from
Burlington" we asked, deeply i'm
pressed. "Oh! out along the line of
the B. & NJ" he said-"out to Oma-
ha, and maybe out to Lincoln and
up to Des Moines."
"Now, don't 60 there" we beg
ged him; "don't go out that way at
all. 1t won't pay you; we know
this country, and we know you
won't make a cent on that trip"
"WhyGpot?'' he asked, defantly,
and in a rather Incredulous tone of
cOuntenance.
because" we said, ''the Hasok-
Eye had man out all through that
country one day last week. 1t may
appear incredible, but, sir, that man
was gone fifteen minutes, and came
back with only $4,000 cash ads, a
couple of national banks, six Nebras.
ka farms, a Kansas cattle-ranch and
the Iowa State Treasury, and the
Captain discharged him for not
making his wages. It's as dead as
a"
But he was gone, and we heard
him downstairs asking the business
manager if he thought it was neces-
sary to import thoroughbred liar
to edit his paper.
Burlington HasOk-Eye.