The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-04-26
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

ANVAV0ADANS83o
"APRu sHowERs.,-Certainly she doss.
AFRICA produces the most undressed
black kids.
NEW YoRK's latest aid to mortality
the hand grenade.
GRAY stockings with blue stripes are
imported for children.
DECEASED had nature as sensitive as q
sore thumb-Omah obituary.
ENGLIsHMEN are not supposed to be
wholly wise until they ore fifty. five years
old.
THOSE who come to you to talk about
others are the ones who 20 to others to
talk about you.
ARKANsAs has more newspapers In pro-
portion to the population than any other
State in the Union.
IT will cost money to visit the 70
Semitic Valley this year. There are seven
gates to 60 through.
A LADY, inclined to flirt, says men are
like cold, easily caught, but very hard
to get rid of.-Pittsoarah Di.patcA.
BECAUSE the Texas pasture grounds arc
"a rolling country" it don't necessarily
follow that Texas cattle are trolling
stock"
THE picnic season commences az soon
as children cease to take cold and become
sick from natural causes at hOme.-N. O.
Republican.
LADY V1slroR-Ay dear, do you know
if your mamma is cugaged3 Little girl
of the peri0d-Engagedi Bless you, why,
she's married.
THOUGH the telephone enables us to tell
friend at a distance, it don't enable us
to tell.a-foe-in disguisc.-N. Y. CONNER.
cial Aduortiser.
THAT is drearY and deserted. looking
country barn which has not yet commenced
to he embcllishcd for 1877 with the brill.
liant circus-p poster.
You can always detect bachelor by the
way he handles baby; but, to be safe
from loss, it is wclltO use a borrowed baby
in making the experiment.
THE custom of serving dinners to the
mourncrs at funerals still prevails in por-
tions OF Lebanon County, Pa. On one oc-
casion lately nearly 500 persons partook.
If two ,gslleads make pipe, how
many will make cigar!- Ex. One
hcg's head sometimes makes a cit ar-
smoke in ladies' company.-Norristspa
Herald.
NEW cucumbers are only scventy-fiv
cents dozen, and the man who won't al
low his family to have q nice spring case
of stomach ache is too mean to live.-OG
CITY Derrick.
a GOOD pianist, in common time, can
enunciate $40 notes in minute, and 800
in quick time. That's faster than the
most Infatuated neighbor can swear.-St.
Louis Journal.
A BOY may have ever so yellow hair and
ever SO meek look, and vet he will drum
on an old tin pan in the back yard if half
Of the family are at the point of death
Detroit FREE Press.
THE Baltimore Nescs call upon the pub
lie to forget friendship and party ties,
rise to the level of the occasion, and 10
put bullet into the first dog that comes
within shooting distance.
ONCE in while there comes along a
boy who wishes in his soul that he were a
poor, lone ophan, so he could SMOKE
cigars somewhere else than in back al.
lcy.-Chicago Euening Journal.
DIR. HOLLAND says the most precious
possession that ever comes to man in this
world is a wOman's heart. 1t would seem
that he has never observed the tender care
with which man handles a mccrschaum
pipe that is just beginning to have a bill.
iOus look around the base of the BOWL
Worcester Press.
A YOUNG female travelling accordion.
last Thursday, eating raw onion. As the
passed pair of sweet blue orhs over
which brown lashes fell in delicate fringcs,
the accordion-angel was observed to drop
. Whitehall IN. ~ Times.
A FELLOW never appreciates the tender
beauty of sisters love half so much as
when he makes her get out of the big rock.
Ing chair, and let him have the morning
paper. while she goes Oft and leans up
against the end of the bureau and feeds her
starving intellect on the household receipts
brothers. love Is like pure gold. It's
dreadfully hard to find, and when you find
it it's very apt to be pyrites.-Burlinoton
HACK Ego.
AT Southern hotel bar an eager con.
troversy was pending 'twixt various Gen.
erals, Majors, etc., when a quiet fellow
observed, II happened to be there, gen.
tlemen, and possibly may be able to re.
fresh your memories" Thereupon he
proceeded to give succinct account of a
smart action. what might have been
your rank, sir ~ asked the otel-keeper
day, he demanded his bill. mot cent,
private ever met"
THERE is sold new kind of ware which
takes the place of porcelain, and of which
the Chicago Health Commissioner has just
given an opinion. The ware is called
"granite," and the Commissioner says Of
it: ~ have here piece of kitchen fur.
niture which you will please notice. It is
a stew. pan. The body of it is iron, Gov.
cred with composition called porcelain.
Now this porcelain is composed to one.
eighth degree of the oxide of lead, which
we all know is a poison, and it is only
| necessary to cook or boil some acid in this
pan to cause the lead in this composition
to become soluble, and, uniting with the
article in process of cooking, to make poi.
sonous food. / tell you there is death for
whole family in one such utensil as this, u
lead pencil, and the pieces, like unto bits
of colored glass were broken off, and the
Commissioner said: "See!' and the re.
porter saw and noted it, and the Commits.
sioner then said: "This ware is being
widely purchased for all conceivable pur:
poses, and it should not he so; why, q
sOur-apple pic baked in that thing would
kill family" and the purchases should
not continue and the people through ignO
rance be poisoned and die never knowing
why nor whercfOrc.-N. Louis Repwblj
can.
|
How Music Is Photographed.