The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1877-04-26

"vidders.p Fs
Jabez felt that he had NJ time to lose,
remembering the ancient proverb, 'Make
hay1 while the sun Shines" and his first
| call was followed by series of others:
| He could not afford to spend time and
money like the young fops who irrev-
erently styled him "old fogy." But that
he might not seem too pointed in his at
tentions he thought it but fair to give the
fair Seraphima chance. Acting upon
the idea, he called upon the maiden one
Sabbath evening and inTited her to
accompany him to hear the Rev. Spout
well. The gushing creature gladly ac-
quiesced, for, said she:
"I do dote upon the clerical brethren !;
they are such heavenly uortals; they
seem almost too angelic for this vile
earth"
"That is pretty strong language, Miss
Driscoll," answered Jabez feeling him
self as good. as any parson in the town.
''Don't you think there are as good lay
| men as preachers 2"
"La! Mr.. Scroggins, how you do talk" :"
Chatting thus on their way 20 church,
Miss Driscoll thought, "here's brand to
| be plucked from the burning" while Mr..
Scroggins came to the conclusion that If
| this devout creature should happen to
become the partner of his weals and woes,
he would, in the time between now and
then, have to mind his p's and q's.
In her early youth Miss Driscoll had
loved, "not wisely, but too we'll" in con-
sequence of which she considered herself
qualified to judge of the tender passion
in its various phases. At the present
time she was interested in q certain
dominic more. jealous in good words
than works-in fact, no less q parsonage
than the Rev. Spoutwell; and, as a proof
of her interest, no more earnest worker
could be found in the parish than she.
As a, consequence or hero found that he
had smore than he had bargsined for in
theshape'of sewing societies, tea:drink-
ings, and other meetings for the benefit
of the parishioners, to all OF which he
was pressed into the service as the escort
of the first directress-viz, Miss Seraphi-
ma Driscoll.
| Jabez, after short session of such
mild dissipation, began to find it some
what monotonous, and thought he would
settle matters by popping the question to
the "vidder" before he was a week older.
AS if to facilitate his design, he found,
upon his return home from business one
evening, dainty missive, the "Jabez
Scroggins" written unmistakably by a
lady. Upon opening, he discovered tito
be an invitation from Mrs. Packard to
spend the evening, the following We'd
nesday week, at her home, to meet few
of her personal friends.
"By Jupiterw exclaimed Mr.. Scrog-
gins, tjust the thing!i TIL fix matters all
right now. Let me see," with medita;
tive air, (which will be the best way to
ask the all-important question? won
| der, does she admire the digni6ed or ten
der style? 1 think I'll practice both !;
the dignified style-ahem: My dear
madam, allow me to express my appoval
of your many sterling qualities, and, as q
token of my appreciation, [ now offer
pshaw! that will never do; sounds too
priggish I'll try style number two.
Guess her Christian naneis Jane; never
mind that will answer at present. This
will sound better: My dearest Jane, you
can not fail to discern that entertain
feelings of the most tender emotions to-
| wards you, and earnestly entreat I'll at you
will aook@with favor upon my suit and
makezrne the eihappiest of men by'-hang
il all, that's no better than the other !!
I reckon I'd best trust to luck. I'll just
send handsome bouquet with my COM
pliments; looks kind of high toned, that
sort of thing"
Upon the eventful evening Mr.. scrog-
gins made his entree in Mrs. Packard's
parlors, where he found score of ladies
and gentlemen, with few only of whom
he was acquainted. By the time he
began to; wonder eatSthe non-appeaSance
of lis is-hostess'he heard a slight noise at
the door and saw the object Of his
thoughts entering the room, leaning 7'oon
the arm of q gentleman, who was lc ing
at her with the conscious right g. os-
session. Jabez thought he had aver
seen the widow looking so well. She
was dressed in black velvet, with point
lace at the throat, and held the identical
bouquet that the admiring Mr.. Scroggins
had taken such pains to select. f2l
But, what does it all mean? Friends
are stepping forward and congratulating
her. Is the gentleman a long-lost brother
or cousin? But the aspirant for matri-
monial 2dignities was not long leis in
doubt. In making the circuit of the
room his charmer stepped in front of him
and said:
Mr. Scroggins, allow me to make you
acquainted with Mr.. Remsen."
"Delighted to make your acquaintance,
Mr.. Scroggins," responded Mr.. Rensen,
"and | in turn take great plesure in in
Producing you to my wife, Mrs. Remscn."' !"
Alas poor Jabez was forced to weir a
smiling countenance, while within a
fierce tumult was raging. Taking his
departure as soon as consistent with ap-
pearances, he hurried home, cursing his
luck, and mentally consigning all widows
to India, where they take their departure
from this mundane sphere in company
with their liege lords. III {
"What's done can't be undone," wisaly
thought Jabez, about a week after his
| first matrimonial failure. IT shall have
to console myself with Miss Driscoll. I'll
| just step around there this evening and
have it all settled. No more procrastina-
ton for me-" > 1 80 - : q y. =.
"Good evening, Miss Driscoll."
"Ah, good evening, MIR. Scroggins, I
am just making out report of the Indo7
China mission, to be ready at the next
meeting of the society, for the relief of
the heathens. feel so deeply for those
poor creatures so benighted in this en-
lightened age!"
"My dear Miss Driscoll, I wish you
would take as deep an interest in a poor
heather nearer home." Guess that's
put neatly, thought Mr.. Scroggins.
"Why, how SO, Mr.. Scroggins? For
my part, have always found the heathen
very unappreciative. Really now, would