The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1877-11-01
"THE IGNORANTEST CUSS.o

on two small gam1ns with dirty faces,
who had entered the sanctum and stood
nervously twitching their ragged caps
before him.
"Yes, sir. What do you want ?"
"Well, you see, the Irish Boys and
the 'Silver Stars had a game of ball
to-day, and we kinder thought we'd like
to have it published"
is that really so? L knew those two
crack clubs were going to play, but
thought it was next week. To which
club do you belong?"
"We belong to the Silver Stars.
I'm ketcher and he's short-stop. And
we waxed them other fellers, didn't we,
Bill?" "You bet, responded Bill.
"Why didn't you say SO before ? The
Irish Boys are good enough club,
but, by Jove, give me the Silver Stars.
Why, I'm delighted to meet both Of
you," and the "editor" rose up, shook
both of them warmly by the hands, and
yelled for the printers devil" to
"bring the gentlemen chairs" ..
The two redoubtable Silver Stars
looked at each other very much per
plexed, and seemed at loss whether to
sit down or dash out of the Office.
Finally they adopted the former plan,
and pulling their chairs over near the
door, so as to be ready to start out at
TIE first sign of hostilities, sat suspi
ciously eyeing "the editor" who in
trenched himself behind mass of paper,
pencil in hand. "Now, then, tell me
all about the game, and I'll write it
down."
"Well, the Irish Boys they wus
a-braggin' they could beat us, and we
said we had 25 cents which said they
couldn't. We played 'em and give 'em
six goose-eggs.'
"Ohl now, boys said the editor,
"don't tell any lies. 1t is wrong to lie.
Where could you get goose-eggs this
time of the year?''
The catcher and the short-stop of the
Silver Stars looked at the editor" in
amazement, and then seemed to be men
tally deciding that he was an internal
idiot.
We mean to say" continued the
catcher of the Silver Stars, who was first
to recover from the shock to which he
had been subjected, that we white
washed EN-" aoac -.s sl
"Oh, I see,'' said the editor, with a
sudden burst of intelligence, "you put
whitewash over them until they looked
like goose-eggs. By Jove, that was a
good idea
"No," said the catcher of the Silver
Stars, with rising ire, "we skunked 'em,
you know-skunked EN-" 9lt
"Skunked 'em-what do you mean by
that9"
"Why, we Chicagoed 'em- gin 'em
no runs sat
"Oh, now I see," said the editor, al
most bursting into a roar of laughter at
the look of intense relief which came
over the faces of the two Silver Stars.
"Go right on
"We got right on ter the balls of the
pitcher of the Irish Boysin the last innins,
and wepounded the life out of him.
"Hold on" said the editor, rapidly
writing; the Silver Stars stood on the
bali in the last inning, and almost killed
the pitcher of the Irish Boys when he
tried to get in.''
For two whole minutes the Silver Stars
regarded each other in speechless aston
ishment. Then the short-stop pityingly
asked:
's Mister, did you ever play base
ball?'' ts-aas sdl l zI
"Very little" said /" the editor, max.
ing herculean efforts to keep his face
straight, "but I'll scratch this out if il
is not all right"
"Course it isn't right. We means te
say we hits his balls easy ; we knocked
'em hard. I hit him for three bags, ano
made home run
"You DID," said the editor" dash
ing off at tremendous rate on the pa
per. ''The catcher of the Silver Stars
hit three bags with the ball, and the1
ran home with them"
This was too much. The two Silve
Stars got up and unanimously concluded
that they must go.
"What is your hurry % asked "th'
editor" again shaking their hands
warmly; "stay little while longer. L
you can't, come up this afternoon ant
bring all your friends with you--glad t.
see you any time"
The catcher of the Silver Stars blew
his nose, wiped it on the cuff OF hi
coat, and led the way downstairs IL
deep thought.
At the bottom of the first fight hi
feelings could no longer control them
selves.
"Bill, muttered he, if that fellow
amt the ignorantest cuss I ever saw
why yer can jest shoot me-"
eyes" replied Bill shut he's awfu
friendly, amt he 2"-Bufalo Express.
A WOMAN in male attire was admitte
to the male ward N San Francisc
hospital to be treated for injuries cause
by fall, but on the discovery of he
| IL. b,,rr;o1 bor ir1tr tI1