Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1877-12-28
NOTES.

A party Of vegetarians who were boarding
at a water-cure establishment, while taking a
walk in the fields, were attacked by bull,
which cha sed them furiously out OF bis pas
ture. That's your gratitude, is it, you
great hateful thing :" exclaimed one of the
ladies', painting with fright and fatigue
"After this I'll eat beef three times day ~
She was Irish, and sweet seventeen. She
said, Sooner than live on charity, I'd beg
from door to door.
SAYS the Worcester Press: The TACT that
a lecturer has taken for his subject Three
Weeks on Camel" shows how lecturers
have to hump around for topics.
We agree with the Worcester Press that
when the manager of church fair announces
that one of the deacons has drawn a pair Of
vases aud another deacon who was asleep IN
the corner partially arouses himself and re-
marks They're good, " the circumstances is
not entirely without significance.
''One of the most versatile ladies that ever
graced the Deadwood stage" has packed her
kit, ''lit on; from the land Of the bowling
wilderness. - and is en- route for Chicago,
where she will ''chaw" scenery and "whoop
it up on old Terpsichore. So states per
sonai III the Black Hills Champion, which
weeps over her departure.
lington have banded themselves together,
and bound themselves by terrible oath, not
to pay more than seven dollars for PIN
cushion made Of furniture calico and stuffed
with bran, at any time this winter, no matter
what missionary society manufactures the
pin-cushion Burlington Hdlrkeye.
The quickest method, says the Burlington
Hatrkeye of developing human life is to
plant photographer camera in front of O
lonesome. deserted country hotel, and long.
long. before the artist can get q focus, the
porch. balcony, doors, windows, side-fence
and doTmer-windows of that hostelry, will
be alive with smiling, unconscious humanity.
The tenting season is now over,-the trick
mule has returned to the stall, the clown no
longer hooks the corners of his mouth over
his ears, the small boy decides to devote the
remnant Of his income to the tvangellzation
of the heather, and the beautiful and ac-
complished daughters of the leading citizens
of the West are eloping with daring circus
riders. " orcesier Press.
contemporary remarks that it is singular
that the names of the fsmbeau agitators
both begin with h. Kearney and knight,
while the moderate reformists' names each
commence with a ID. Day and O'Donnell.
The consideration of this important an
nouncement fills US with admiration at the
sagacity of ou- exchange, TO whom we re-
commend as a beautiful reflection the stern
fact that McGuffin commences with F. and
0'Bren with W There is great deal Of
food for thought in these meditations lfa man
isn't hungry.-SHl francisco Hdd
If you dream of stuffed oyster shell
dancing in its ulster to the tune OF 'Hold
the Fort while a club-focted Indian looks
on and chews gum, 1t is a sign that it is going
to rain when yOnr blonde cousin gets mar.
ned. IF 1t is brunette cousin, you have
got to dream something else. ! Pacl', DreB
Book
The man who expects to swear of month
from now can be selected from the rest by
the size of the quid he takes when he get.
hold of another mans box Detroit free Press
California man on his way through tn,
woods from Shohonish City. W. T., to Parl
place, saw what he took to bea dog running
through the underbrush. He pitched sticl
at it, when it turned, and came for him. L
was panther. Then the California mar
took his turn in running through the under
brush The animal did not overtake HIM.
A Cincinnati music publisher has issue,
three new songs which are entitled Tickle
Ne Softly, Mother Mine Touch Me Gently
Father lime and Darling Pussy, Why 81
Sad They are said to be very touching
melodies
Stewards new hotel will furnish poor wo
men with board and lodgings at 50 pc
week. The same poor women are now pay
ing $3.50. Philanthropy is a big gun.-Ds
tr0it Free Press
"a Pistol Ball, and How it Missed Light
ning-Rod Man. is the tantalzing headlin
in the St Louis Republican. Cincinnati Com
mercidL
Barriere, the French dramatist, who die,
recently, once met pretty actress who's
protector had deserted her, and opening tn
door of her coupe, did all that was in hi
power to console the unhappy woman, VIII
was sobbing in a corner of the seat Blu
she would not be conforted. mo, no. sh
cried. Il can never smile again | mus
drown myself" Very well" said Barriere
calmly shutting the door 1--WE shall meet a
the Morgue. Coachman, drive this lady t,
the river And yet Barriere meditated sui
eide himself once upon time had his pis
tol loaded, and called IN friend to recely
his diving wishes The friend did Rot at
tempt to dissunde hun. but calmly jotte,
down the diving wishes, then. while Barrier
was writing a farewell letter, took up the pis
tol and began eXaming it. TWAS cooked AM
the muzzle was pointing directly at Barrlere
The intending suicide ducked under the tabl
with remarkable aglIity, crying, LOOK Out
The thing is loaded ioull be shooting m
the first thing you know.
The Hqslscye says This wonderful coun
try is more than hundred years old, an,
yet 1t IS necessary for burglar to get dea
drunk and lie down on the sidewalk and &
TO sleep If he wants to get himself arrested
And then 1t IS generally advisable for HIM I
notify the police by postal card where he |
going 10 lie down.
Kentucky now comes to the front, unblush
ing, with story Of the growth of humal
hair on a doll There is temporary deartl
ofsnake-stories at present, owing to the grea
loss OF wbiskey i'll the Louisville fire.