Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1877-12-28
liunl0r.

Star y 10 star NJ all; Y Is u p-p-pup
planet
The Mobile Register intimatcs that the
South wants farmers, Somebody to
raise Cain, we suppose,
Never write letters toa widow, She
always takes down the old box and
compares yours with tho other mans.
II the coinage of 2O.ccnt pieces isn't
stopped, contribution boxes are going
to suffer 20 cents on the dollar.
What's dollar - asks the timphic
It's just the same rs gratitude; some
thing of which we owe moro than We
have. Hmkrw,
4 witness on the stand, in reply 10 a
question e. what the character ofAlr.
was for truth and vomcity said We'll,
| should say that he handles truth very
oarelcssly
General Grant has not yet mastered
the vcrnacuar sufficiently to hold
polite conversation IN French, but ho
smokes tiucntly in that language.
a book canvasSer, the other day,
talked half m hour q induce il lady to
buy n book. Then She handed him
slip of paper, on which was written
Tine dctc and dumb
There is n Georgia darkcy who hbors
under the halluoination that his mtions
arc brought him every day by M angel
We should oall that clear case Of men
TIL half-a-ration,
Different countries have diilorent
ways, In Switzerland the donkeys wear
bells ON their necks. In America they
sit with their legs clear across the aisle
of n street ear-Dtyoa tirc Press.
A negro in South Carolina, who was
complaining Of the hard times, declared
they were the hardest over known.
Why said he, works MI day and
steals all night, and yet I'm blost if |
kin mako M honest living.
Tho owner of n pair of bright eyes
says that the protticst compliment she
ever received was from n child Of four
years. The little fellow, after locking
lntcntly Vt her for il moment, inquired
naivcly, Are Your cycs new ones y
a Danbury young man nearly bank
lupted himself ON visiting the daughter
of the owner of u New York aquarium
subsequently discovered to ho fish
market) Dmbtay Nrws
The wife of " Texas shcep-rniser has
gone crazy over the disappearance Of he
| husband. Sheep.raisc night and 1.,y
for his return. Ncm York Commercial
An exchange wants to know how the
Turks happened To learn To fight so
wcllY Why, man, most of the Turkish
officers have over halI-a-dozcn wives.
An observing politician says that the
difference between those going in and
those going ont Of Office il mainly this
the former arc sworn in, and the latter
so out swearing,
Madam, do you know that you pos
sess one Of the finest voices i'll the
world ?" said saucy fellow ton woman
the other day. Indeed, do You think
soY' replied she, with n flush Of pride
II the compliment. II do, most cor
tninty,' continued the rascal, "for If
you hadn't il would have been worn
ont long ago
Bill Shute wns II mombor ol the
rwcnty-sixth. While the boys crowded
around the old llag mt the recent re-
union, Bill, with IN irrcprcssiblc humor,
called out Boys, nm no speaker,
but there's q blamed sight more Of you
here than ever saw in fight = This
brought down the house - Franklin (kH)
RepicW.
The crisis of the battle which forced
from the Iron Duke the cry for night
on Butcher was parallclcd in that
| tremendous moment Of the vote on the
4 Nput A.rlt a ~
easily imagine the Iron President ~
crying ont Oh for Christmas or Stan
ley Matthews. 81. L0tiS Gtobe.ieno
crut
Mister, will you lend pa your pa-
! per- lie wants TO send il TO his uncle
in the country 20 certainly; and
ask your father If he'll just lend me the
roof " his housc2 ! only want il %
make die ten kettle boil"
81 like my mother, said Billy Blick-
ers TO his Sunday school teacher, :" like
everything, but when she makes me set
in the house an trot the baby all the
time when 4 hand organ with u monkey
n oycrtO Gldaker's, il makes me spunky
an cross, mn iorgits that it's bad 20
wish ! Vas nj orfun so's ! could skitc
away m eit e be Il pirate with long
whskcr an red boots"
How often, q, how often, man with
only one solitary button on his shirt, and
that one brass pin, looks with deyour-
ing envy upon his wifc's new seven
button kid gloves, and wishes alI the
shirts i. his collection were Just one
glove. There does seem to be some
thing wrong IN this division Of but
tons