The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-05-26
How the Choir Got Mixed.

IUn Jllt SuUlI UOt 4HIAGus SEA-.
..' .-.------i a .
You see, the tenor had got kind of abb
stracted, or restless, or something, dur
ing the long prayer, and was thinking
about the European war, or the wheat
corner last week, or something, and so,
when the minister gave out Hymn 231,
on page 81, and the chorister whispered
them TO sing the music on page III, it
came all in on the tenor like q volley,
and, as he had only the playing of the
symphony in which to make the neces-
sary combination of time, hymn and
page, he came to the front just little
bit disorganiZed, and his fingers sticking
between every leaf of the book. And
the choir hadn't faced the footlights half
minute before the congregation more
than half suspected something was
wrong. For you see the soprano, in at
tempting to answer the frenzied whisper
of the tenor in regard to the page, lost
the first two or three words of the open
ing line herself, and that left the alto to
start off alone, for the basso was so pro-
foundry engaged in watching the tenor
and wondering what allied him that he
forgot to sing. The music wasn't written
for an alto solo, and consequently there
wasn't very much variety to that part,
and, after singing nearly through the
first line alone, and receiving neither APP
plause nor bouquets for one of the finest
contralto efforts Burlington or any
other audience ever listened to, the alto
stopped and looked reproachfully at the
soprano, who had just plunged the
tenor's soul into gulf of dark despair
by leaving him to find his way out OF the
labyrinth of tunes, and pages, and hymns,
into which his own heedlessness had led
him, by giving him a frantic shake of her
head, which unsettled the new spring
bonnet Gust the sweetest duck of a Nor
mandy to that extent that every woman
in the congregation noticed it. All this
time the organist was doing nobly, and
the alto, recovering her spirits, sang an
other bar, which, for sweetness and
tenacious adherence to the same note all
the way through, couldn't be beat in
America. By this time the basso had
risen to the emergency, and sang two
deep cultural notes with profound ex-
preston; but, as those of the congrega-
ton sitting nearest the choir could dis
tinctly hear him sing "Ho, ho!" to the
proper music, it was painfully evident
that the basso had the correct tune, but
was running wild on the words. At this
point the soprano got her time and
started oft with a couple of confident
notes, high and clear as a bird song, and
the congregation, inspired with an over
ready confidence, broke out on the last
word of the verse with a discordant roar
that ratified the globes on the big chGnde
lier; and, as the verse closed with this
triumphant outbreak, an expression Of
calm, restful satisfaction was observed
to steal over the pastors head, which
was all that could be seen of him as he
bowed himself behind the pulpit.
The org&nist played an intricate and
beautiful interlude without tremor or
false note; not an uncertain touch to
indicate that there was particle Of ex-
citcment in the choir, or that anything
had gone wrong.
The choir didn't exactly appear to
catch the organist's reassuring steadiness,
for the basso led off the second verse by
himself, and his deep-toned Ho, hop
was so perceptible throughout the sanct-
uary that several people started and
looked down under the seats for man,
and one irreverent sinner near the door
thrust felt hat into his mouth and slid
out The soprano got orders and started,
but only three or four words behind time,
but she hadn't reached the first siding
before she collided with woman in the
audience running wild and trying to car
ry new tune to the old words. And
then, to make it worse, the soprano
handed her book to the tenor, and
pointed him to the tune on page III, and
the words on page 81; and If that unhappy
man didn't get his orders mixed, and
struck out on schedule time with the tune
on page 81 and the words on page III,
and in less than ten words ditched him
self so badly that he was laid out for the
rest of the verse, and then he lost his
place, handed the book to the soprano,
took the one she had, and held it upside
down, and no living man could tell from
his face what he was thinking of or try
ing to say. Meanwhile the soprano,
when the books were SO abruptly changed
on her, did just what might have been
expected, and telescoped two tunes and
sets of words into each other with disas-
trous effect. The alto was running
smoothly along, passenger time, for the
several wrecks gave her the track, 50 far
as it was clear, all to herself. The bas-
so, who had slipped an eccentric and was
only working on one side, was rumbling
cautiously along, clear off his own time,
tagging himself every mile of the way,
and asking for orders every time he got
a chance. The pastors head was OBJ
served to tremble with emotion, and the
people sitting nearest the pulpit say they
could distinctly hearsounds from behind
it that resembled the syllables "Te, he!'
(Seeappendix, marked Exhibit BIZ AS
the organist pulled, and crowded, and
encouraged them along toward the clos
ing line, it looked as though public con-
fidence might soon be restored and the
panic abated; but, alas! as even the de-
moralized tenor rallied, and came in with
the full quartet on the last line, mis-
guided man in the audience suddenly
thought ne recognized in the distracted
tune an old, familiar acquaintance, and
broke out in a joyous howl on something
! entirely different that inspired every
singing man and woman in the congre-
Ia l.