Western sentinel. [volume] (Winston [i.e. Winston-Salem], N.C.) 1856-1886, 1877-06-28
STUBBORN FAKTS.
BY JOSH BILLINGS.

0~-S.~-~'O~s
had rather be ka!led grandpa bi a
haff dozen bright, impetuous yung
ones, and have them all TO light onto
me ut onst, like a swarm ov bees, than
to be the lonely autokrat of all the
Russias.
Never horror ennything that yu are
to buy. Borrowing will iemoralize
man almost az fast as stealing.
A man is never thoroly played out
until he gets so low down that nobody
will abuze him.
No man kan be very cunning only
at the expense NV his honesty.
The man who don't kare whether
he wins or not when he fips cents,
or fiips ennything else il weak pouf
tiss.
"IgDoranse il bliss" until yu cum
to look back upon it, and see what a
kussid fool it haz made ov yu.
Whites and drink are the greattrump
kards, mankind thinks more of their
stummuks than they do of eny other
part of their property.
Life liz made up ov sunshine and
shaddo, abount five shaddOs to one
sunshine.
The reason there are so menny fail
ures in this world il bekause most ov
mankind are anxious to make ten
strikes with pony balls.
/ have figgered a good deal onto It,
and haint made mp mi mind yet which
woman is the most powerful in, her
will or her wants.
Ignoranse and cunning is always
found together so is humility and
wisdom.
After a man gifts to be thirty eight
years old he can't form any nu habits.
The best he kan du is to steer hiz old
ones.
Truth il the only thing that don't
lose in tranalashun. Truth liz the same
in Ho:tentott az it liz in hi Dutch or
| Anglo SaXony.
The most useless thing kno ov il
monkey, and yet had rather be a
monkey than an elephant.
The man who kant keep a sckret
hant got much grip of karaktcr.
Sekrets and soap bubbles are liable
to bust at emmy time.
To Civ streng thens man, to re-
ceive weakens him
Law is an excellent thing. but it
never made a man pious or temperate
yet.
When a man hain't got ennything
aktually to do, i lik to see him lazy
about it; aktive lazyness IL one of
the wust diseases that emmy man kan
hav.
When a man becums mad with the
world and saz he iz goin to go into
solitude, take notiss that the world
don't try to hold him, but lets him
went.
Extreme gravity iz more belsuming
to a phool than it il to wise man.
lie that would put mummy in hiz
fob, must either do the work or boss
the job.
Rust haz eat bigger holes into
mans physical and mora potash Bit
tie than fricksnun ever haz.
There il lots ov people in this world
whoze only pleasure and reputashun
konsists in always paying more for
things than they are worth.
1t iz a risky thing to be a pro-
feshional funny man; better to be
phool, they make fewer blunders.
We all ov us think if we could live
our lives over again we should make
fewer blunders. This probably amt
so; we should only make different
ones.
Might don't make right, but righ,
makes might.
1t il only the phools that are past
redempshun if man haz got brains
don't kare how korrupt he may be
he amt past all hope.
What little kno have lernt b
keeping mi ears and eyes propped
wide open, and coaxing every man
meet to talk on the subjekt he liked
best.
Yung man, always play to win; 6
game that amt worth winning AIM
worth playing.
Very few have ever added emmy.
thing to the pedigre which has been
handed down to them; they seem tc
more willing to live on the interest ov
it than to add to the principal.