The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1877-08-11
PHI wv
An exchange speaks of the "genes

An exchange speaks of the "genesis
Of Mark Twain" Thought he was
booked as a levity-cuss.
The green peach wakes up and
scratches its head, turns over, ripest side
out, and gets down off the tree to stand
sweetly and lnnocently in the path of
the little boy whom the gods love.
"A man made a bet that he could
ride a fly wheel in a cav mill, and as his
widow paid the bet, she remarked !:
" William was a kind husband, but he
didn't know much about fly Wheels"
MY hotel is perfectly safe," says a
Richmond landlord. Wires run from
every .winlow-sill to the roof of the
building opposite, and balancing poles
can be had upon application. at the Of
fee"
1t doesn't do a bieof good to go to a
picnic and stand on the river bank and
admire the gorgeous sunset, and talk
about the tender beauties of nature, to a
man who hast just sat down on a Gus
tard pie.
An Irishman who had Just landed,
said: "The FIRST bit of mate | ever ate
in this 'sountry was a roasted potato
boiled yesterday; and if you don't be-
lieve me, I can show it to ye, for I have
it in me pocket"
.."Can't yer giver Teller a lift" re-
marked a red nosed tramp, poking his
head in the door of a country store.
"Well, I reckon I can," answered the
proprietor, as he lifted him about ten
feet with the end of his boot.
"A town in western Nebraska con-
tains eighteen families, has had nineteen
burglaries since April. In the last bur-
giary the man who was burgled got back
all his own things, and the citizens have
tacitly agreed to preserve their statu
quo.
When a small boy with a prejudice
against yellow dogs observes an old oys-
ter can in a condition of inactivity he at
begins debating the question
whether it was created to point a moral
or adorn a tail. The dog gets the first
nawa of tho dociaiou
"A great deal of disappointment is
felt by Rome dealers because the Turks
and Russians do not eat more -four. Not
much fighting is going on, and it would
be no more than neighborly for the war
to eat an extra meal now and then,
and give a lift to their friends on this side
of the water.
..Sportsman-"Doyo you know the name
of those ruins my good man." Pat
''Av coorse I do, yer 'anner." Sports
man-"But could you tell us" Pat
" Could I tell yez? Av coorse I could"
Both Sportsmen-"Why don't you,
Pat-"Why don't I? Sure ye
havn't axed me; and 'tisn't a base in
former yer 'anner takes me for, to expect
voluntary information ??
"A prospective father-in-law makes
inquiries concnrning his prospective SON
of a friend. The replies are of the
most satisfactory character, till the friend
says frankly: "Still I must admit that
be has one grand OBJECT" "What is
that? Does he play the ACCORDION 2"
' He does not know anything about
gambling" Why, that is not a defect, it
a virtue" eyes, but you see-he
CANDLES all the same"
An old farmer travelling on railroad
happened to look out of the window just
Is they were passing a river, when his
nat was blown over the bridge and car
led away by the stream. "Is it very
singular" said he to a gentleman who
vas sitting beside him, "that my hat
ook hat direction 2" "Not at all sir"
eplied the latter, "it is perfectly nat
lral that a beaver should take to the
When a dog sits up in the back yard
nd howls all night, it convinees the
most unprejudicied mind that he is not
# killing sheep. There's a general feel
ng in the community, however, that
heep should be kept around here.
About four miles of, that is. The kind
f sheep that attract dogs. There is no
moral grandeur about this feeling, but
ONE of the most onorous chords in the
Iuman heart respond to it.