davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1877-09-06

Ih0AL ALIDYKRTEsEKG-we are cofnpc,tea ~
reaniIa nash RfsHents 5r advertising
and herewith append che reteo for rna oTdsnsy1 y2
nances, which vim only bs inserted whom tha
AsSSa ssS aisa8s'lJg II ..Taaoo
ssfato Notices, three Insertions SOa
Finnl Settlemepts, Gse insertions =. aOS
attention, communications nuht be sccompn nisd
y.net3denAtnG afid 6fes5 Gl fss
ecteq manuscripts will not be ratnrned unless the
ths,son s'aps 70 rePdy hepoSssge
eaas we ar0 not Responsible FSf ishJ VIEWS ana
AN eoinmunications shonfd Be addfesbed 10 tEd.
tloIs and all cheeks, idrafis taope,
oIders de-, should be made payable to The order
W 4. b. MURRAY & CO.g.sst
Anderson g. C.
The Van Buren press., 1877-01-09

Smiler's Health Lift.

DR. Smiler, says Max Adeler, had q
large tank placed on the top of his house
from which to supply his bathroom, and
so forth. with water. The water had to
be pumped up about fifty feet from the
cstern in the yard, and the doctor found
it to be pretty good sized job, which
would cause him constant expense. So
after thinking the matter over very care
fully, one day an idea struck him. He
Quilt room over the cistern and put
word "sanitarium' over the door Then
he concealed the pump machinery ben
cath the floor, and he rigged up kind of
complicated apparatus with handles and
hinges and crank, SO that man by
standing in the middle of the machine
and pulling the handle up and down
would operate that pump.
Then the doctor got out circulars and
published advertisements about "Smiler's S
Patent Health Lift" and he secured tes
timonials from thousand or so people
who agreed that the health lift was the
only hope for the physical salvution of
the human race. Pretty soon people be.
= az w oNt auoub lef anu k'Hillct "oulu
rush them out to the .Sanitarium' and
set them to jerking the handles. And
when customer had pumped up fifty
gallons or so, Smler would charge him
u quarter, and tell him that three months
of that kind Of thing would give him
like prizetghter
The thing became SO popular that he
had to enlarge his tank and put in a
smaller pump; and he not only got all
his pumping done for nothing, but the
people who did it paid him about ST. 500
a years for the privilege.
One day, y,thowever. Mr.. Mnginnis, who
had been practising at the health lift
every day for months, broke the board
upon which he was standing, and plung-
ed into the cistern, and just as he was
sinking for the third time Smler fished
him out with a crooked nail in the end of
a cloths prop.
A few days laer Maginnis came round
with lot Of other patients, and cross.
examined Smiler's servant girl, and
learned about tee truth, and then they
went home mad A consultation was held,
ut which they resolved to prosecute su j.
Ter for damages and Cor obtaining money
under false pretences. 1t is thought by
good judges that. by the time the court
get through with Smiler, it will be about
the unhealthiest lift for him he was ever
interested in.
The Van Buren press., 1877-01-09
A Card to tie Public,

For many years we have made two
medicines suited to the ailments of q
vast class Of sufferers. Thousands oil
cures have been made by them, and, in
fact, the word failure could not be eou-
pied with them But within the last two
years counterfeits Of our medicines have
sprung up, dangerous in their close imi
tation Of onr Trade Mark. TO secure
the people, we have placed upon each
genuine box of Holloway's Ointment the
fac simile Of our agent, Mr. Jos, Hay
dock, TO counterfeit is felony. We
shall relentlessly pursue any one who
initiates this with the utmost vigor of the
law. We most earnestly beg that the
great mass of the American people will
aid US in our efforts to protect their
health, and help us in our tasksof bring
ing tAcse-mast .unprincipled men to the
bar of justice. Uniformly refuse to pur-
chase Medicines purporting TO b& ours
unless Mr. Jos. Haydock's signature is
attached TO each box of Pills or pot OF
Ointment and the end will soon be
reached.
The pubIic's obedient servants,
HOLLOWAY IL Co.
The Van Buren press., 1877-01-09
A Sad Story.

Once. long time ago, before Noah's
ark landed on Plymouth Rock, when
Boston was bowling wilderness. when
the crafty hyena and snarling wolf, roam
cd unmolcstcd through the wilds of cam.
bridge, and when the fierce quahaug
prowied thrhugh the sands of the Back
BAY, an old man and his wife lived in di
lapidated old shanty, way down on South
Boston point.
They were misetahly poor, and some
times in the cold winter they would have
nothing to eat for weeks, but boiled sea
weed and crabs. But they were Chris.
the old man would occasionally get his
shack up;' after waking up some cold
morning and finding his feet frozen, be
would murmur This is burned sick
way TO live"
But his gentle old wife would quietly
lay her spectacles down on the Bible she
had been reading, put her withered arm
around his neck and reply, Wipe off
your chin, Jeremiah, and trust in Provi-
dences
Then the old man would cheer up and
say he would try it once more, and 60
out and gather weed
One day fairy came to the old cou.
pies hut and told them they might have
anything they wished for--gold, green
backs, bonds, anything and that they
might wish three times.
How happy tue old folks were then
no more suffering for them. The fairy
Na'4 her nag.2o ya' and told o.. the he,,'s old
tiieul. W. Wv scgFe wish her big
ehurrfpe ay IN o'," p. geese fealheas'
The enIand fnoa and d the thought.
les. enraveaof pror1n Yrieking out, II
wish they was ! who Avn your blasted
and in fling the old lady
was being smothereS with feathers.
There was one wish left, and the old
man used that in getting the feathers out
of his wifcs throat. The fairy left in !
disgust. and the maddened man tore
r ,uld and threw his old wife's Bible and
spertacles out of the window, and swore
he'd "git divorce from his foolish old
pard, anu the gates of tophet shouldn't
prevail against him"
The Van Buren press., 1877-01-09
Oh. c. MelAHE'S
LIVER PILLS.

These Pills are not recommended
as a remedy for call the Ms that
llesh is heir to-" but ia affections Of
the Liver, aud in all Bilious Com
plants, Dyspepsia aud Sick Head
ache, or diseases Of that character,
they stand without rival.
AGUE AND FEVER.
No better cathartic can be used
preparatory to, or after taking Qui-
nine.
As a simple purgative they arc
uneqnale,l.
BEWARE OF IMITArroys.
Inc genuine are never sugar
coated.
Elch box has red wax seal on
the ili, with the impression DIR.
M'LASE's LIVER PLLs.
Each wrapper bears the signatures
OF {. MoLANE and FLEMING Bros.
Sold by all respectable druggists
aud country storekeepers generally.
The Van Buren press., 1877-01-09

OLD SUsPicIoNs Old 81 went to see
the magician performance the other night.
Next day we asked him.
Ibid you see that man handle that
money last night"
II did, fer factr'
"He made 1t come and 60 in MI sorts
Of ways?'
"Young boss, dat mans pow'ful slick
wild silb,r munny!"
"What did you think Of him 81 Z"
dad man foold round dar with dat
mummy tell he reused up my 'spicions,
be did"
''Suspicions Of what 2"
'Hit teks lots Of practice for to make
q half dollar pear an dis'pear in dat
stile
"Of course"
"Dat's what meks me hab 'spicion
dat dat white man wuz one time the cash.
eer ub a freed mans bank, and want to
hannel him few min'nits. sho's you
born."-AHanta Herald.
The Van Buren press., 1877-01-09

Christmas day fell on a Monday this
year. 1t fell on Mondy also in 1865
and on that occasion the following was
unearthed from. it WAS sfta,Gsff ,uiiks-- Har-
leim MSS. No, z NV : s.saoa 4:
~ II. ]. 4, .ay asii,vio ofhnt year you'll see.
4 And full Of winds both loud and shril;
But In summer the truth to tell
High winds shall there be and strong,
Full Of tempests lasting long;
While battles they shall multiply.
And great plenty OF beasts shall die.
They that be born that day wcen;
They shall be strong each one aud Keen;
lie shall be found that stealetv aught;
Tho thou be sick. thou diest not.
The year 1866 was the year ofthe Aus
tro Prussian war, year Of disastrous
gales and year Of cattle plague. Again
in 1871 Christmas day tell ON Monday.
The twelvetmonth following that day
saw us with cattle plague in the north
and some great storms; but as to the
"battles" we must 60 back a few months
in 1871 for the capituaton Of Paris and
the conflict with the Commune. We have
now a Monday Christmas for the third
time within dozen years.
The Van Buren press., 1877-01-09

The average age of sheep is ten
years; cows, fifteen; hogs fifteen, and
horses, not used as beasts of burden,
twenty.
--Danbury has the champion patient
boy. He comes from chronically Dor
rowing family. The other day he went
to neighbor's for cup of sour milk.
II haven't anything but sweet milk" said
the woman pettishly. "l'll wait till it
sours." said the obliging youth. sinking
into chair.
The journal Of Chemistry advises all
people to eat celery when they can get
it, and onions between times. SAYS it
quiets your nerves. But one onion eat
er can unsettle the nerves of a whole
street Car load.
-Spivins wife tells him that if she
cant canvass his returns at an earlier
hour Of the night, she will count him GU,
eery time.
}, 1.-The essence of true nobility is neg,
of self Let the thought Of self pass
- the beauty of a graet action is
gone, hkethe bloom from soiled dow
er.
Among genuins Christians the con
tention is Tor the lowest place: among
sham Christians tue CONTROVERSY is Tor
the higher positions.
Mr. Jones don't you think marriage
isa means Of gracef' Certainly; any.
thing is means OF gIace which breaks
up pride and leads to repentance Scene
closes with broomstck.
Julius, was you ever in businiss 2
sOf course was What business P "A
sugar planter When was that, my col
ored friendl' DE day dat buried day
old sweetheart Of mine.
Army officers are trained to hate
newspaper men. aWashinton writer SAYS
But this won keep newspaper men from
loving army officers. There is some
thing ID the mere strut Of military mun
that is irresistible. We all admire the
terrible.
Frederick Douglas says he prayed
three years 10 be delivered from bon
Gage, nut never got any answer till he
prayed with his legs.
A buzz saw is one of the sestures NJ
An Indianapolis coffin factory. The es.
taolishment doubtless furnishes its own
victims when business is dull.
~ Subacribe for tho prsas
The Van Buren press., 1877-01-09
IMPORTANT CAUTION.

HANDock. as agent for the United States, sur
rounds each box Of pills and ointment. A
handsome reward will be given to any one
rendering such information as may lead to
the detection of any party or parties counter
teiting the medicines or vending the same,
know ing them to he spurious
-" Sold at the manufactory Of Prof. IIoL-
LowAY 4 Co. n. Y, and by all respectable
druggists and dealers in medicine throughout
the civilized world. in boxes at % cts G2 Gets
and 81 each
ess There is considerable saving by taking
the larger sizes
n B B-Direetions for the guidance of pa
tients in every disorder are affixed is each
box.
Office 1f2 Liberty ST., New York,
The Van Buren press., 1877-01-09

There seems to be very little rest in
this world The weather has only just
become cold enough Tor man to be able
to take girl to walk and pass an ice
cream saloon with sense of security.
when they begin to hold church festivals
atsthe rate Of six a week, and unless he
attends them all and buys worsted tidy
aud couple of bead lamp mats and TAX
es four chances in an indigestible pound
cake, he is generally regarded rs dan
gerons character with atendency towards
atheism
The Van Buren press., 1877-01-09
RoRTY YEARS BhFoRE THE PUBLIC
DR.. {. McLANE'S
Celebrated American
WORM SPECIFIC
OR
YER RMIFUGE.
SYMPHONIC OF WORMS.

!'HE eenatenancs is pale and
| leadci -cclored, with occasional
Ra,hes, or cirCamscribed spot on
sne or both checks ;.the eyes become
sal; tse papils dilate an azrre semi
nrde rasi aleng the lower eye-lid;
taensSe il irritatcd. swell; and some
hiaei Aeeds aswclliag Of the upper
KIP; eccasioasl aeathche, with hum
ans or tkrssbing af tAe ears; an
snEssA secretion a saliva; slimy or
fnrreA tongue; breath very fsal, par
scslarly ia tae moraing; appetite
variable, Sometimes voracioas, witha
snawing seasatieA CT the stomach, at
sthSs, entirely gone; aeeting pains
~ tse stsnaca occasional nausea
and volsitiag; violeat pains through
eat tae abAo sen; bowels irregular,
at aaes cs5tive; stools Shiny; not
safrsqaeatly sngea with blood;
belly swolles aad hard urine tur-
BID; re'elradsa occasionally diff
salt, and accompanied by hiccough;
eossaso,aetimes dry and convulsive;
uneasy and DISTURBED sleep, with
grinding Of the teeth; tenper varia-
Bile, bat generally irritable, &c.
WAeSever the above symptoms
are found to exist,
DR.. c. McLANE'S vEKMIFUGE
viii certainly effect a crge.
Fl DOES NOT CONTAIN MERCURY
in amy form; it is an innocent prepa
nation, not fababl efaoiAg tie sight
est nymy to TIE m0a tcaaer infant.
The genuine DR.. McLANE's YER
MFuCE bears the signatures Of C.
MeLANE and FLEMING Bros. on the
wrapper.
The Van Buren press., 1877-01-09
For Stomachs Out of Order.

No medicines will so etfcctualfy improve
the tone of the stomach as these Pills: they
remove all acdity occasioned either by in
temperance or improper diet They reach
the liver and reduce tito healthy action :
they are wonderfully eiiicacious in cases Of
spa>n-in fact they never tail In curing all
disorders of the liver and stomach.
HOLI0WAYS PILLS are the best known
in the world for the following diseases: AS
thama Ague, Bilious Complaints. Blotches
on the Skin Bowels. Consumption, Debility,
Dropsey. pysentery, Erysipclas, Female 1r-
regularities fevers of all kinds, fits. gout,
headache, Indigestion, inflammation. jaundice,
liver complaints lumbago, piles, rheumatism,
retention Of the urine. scrotua, or kings
evil. sore throats. stone and gravel. tic dou-
loureN, tumors, ulcers. worms of all kinds
weakness from any cause. etc.
The Van Buren press., 1877-01-09
$500 Reward,
Proclamation by the Governor,

WHEREAS. ithas come to the knowledge
w OF the Executive that GEORGE
GREEN. (colored) killed Allen Powell on
the 4th of November 1876. in the county Of
Craw ford. in this state, and that said George
Green, (colored) is still at large:
Now. therefore, |. A. ii. GARLAND. Govern
or OF the State of Arkansas by virtue of the
authority vested in me by the constitution
and laws of said Stale, do hereby offer A re-
ward OF FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS for
the arrest and delivery OF said George Green
tcolored) to the Sheriff of Crawtor county.
In testimony whereof | have bee"
unto set my hand. and caused
L. g the seal Of the State to be aiix-
ed at Little Rock. on this the
1lth day of November. ls76.
a. ii. GARLAND,
BY the Governor,
B. b. BEAVERS See. of State,
By q. W. stellar. Deputy,
The Van Buren press., 1877-01-09

A Does ONLY Drunk Here is an
aneedote with a sharp moral that comes
to lis all the way from Australia; Sixty
years ago, when | was teacher in kll
malenm parish, says John Fraser, | was
using whskcy bitters for my stomach 5
sake. One day dipped a piece of cake
in it aad gave it to the dog lie grudg
ineing ate it, curling up his lips to avoid
the taste. Ere long he became tipsy--
he howled most pitcously, and unnatur-
ally looked up in my face as if tor help,
lie began to stagger and fail like drup-
ken man. The appearance OF his face
and eyes was extraordinary. He lay on
the floor and howled until the effects of
the drink wore off The dog never for
got the trick. Whenever afterwards !
went TO the dresser for the bottle he has
tened to the outside of the house. One
day, the door being shut. he sprang at
one bolt through a pane Of glass, to get
outside. So much tor the wisdom ofthe
dog-in6nitely surprising that Of fool
ish drinking men.
The Van Buren press., 1877-01-09
NJ iiit NIta Z! !sS.-
Ii. b. BEAVERS. See. of State,
BY q. W. StClair, Deputy.

pEscEiPIiOS.
The said George Green trOlorcd} Is about
20 or y years of age 8 feet inches high. wiilt
weigh about $50 or l55 pounds. is Of Il dark
yellow color. rather cast Gown cnuutenance
has V ry thick lips. is inclined to drink to
excess, " hen last seen was wearing a white
wool hat black iroek coat. considerably wera
and pants of a dark color, patched On thu
knee.
The Van Buren press., 1877-01-09

In all diseases affecting these organs, wheth-
they secrete too mnch or too little water: or
whether tTey be afflicted with stone or grs,v-
el, or with aches and pains settled in the lpins
over the regions of the kindneys, these Pills
should be taken according to the printed ui-
rections. and the Ointment should be well rub
bed into the small OF the back at bed time.
This treatment will give almost immediate
relief when all other means have failed.
The Van Buren press., 1877-01-09

~ Subscribe for the Press.
The Van Buren press., 1877-01-09
EVERY DAY RELIGION --We must onne |

EVERY LAY RELIGION Wy must come
back to our point, which is, not to urge
ali ofyou to give yourselves up to mis-
sion work, but TO serve God more and
more in connection with your daily call
ng. ! have heard that woman who
has mission makes poor wife and II
bad mother this is very possible, and at
the same time very lamentable; but the
mission | would urge is not of this soft.
Dirty rooms, slattcrnly gowns, and ehil
dren with unwashed faces, are swift wit
nesses against the cincerity Of those who
keep others vineyards and neglect their
own. | have no faith in that woman who
tells of grace and glory abroad, and uses
no soap and water at home. Let the hut
tons be on the shirts, let the children's
SOCKS be meuaed, let the house be neat
as new pin. and the home as happy as
home can be. Serve God by doing com
mon actions in a heavenly spirit, and
then, il your daily calling only leaves you
cracks and crevices Of time, fill these up
WITH holy service
The Van Buren press., 1877-01-09
MARK THESE FACTS.
HOLlOWAYS PILLS.

81 had no appetite; Aolloway's Pills gave
me a hearty one"
" our pills are marvellous"
Il send for another box, and keep them in
the house"
"Dr, Holloway has cured my headache
that was chronc.'
Il gave one of your pills to my babe for
cholera morbus. The dear little thing got
well in day
nausea Oft morning is now cured"
~ onr box of Holloway's Oinmtment cured
me of noises in the head. rubbed some of
your Ointment behind the ears, and the noise
has left"
''Send me two boxes l want one for poor
family.
| enclose dollar; your price is % cents,
but the medicine to me is worth dollar"
''Sena me five boxes of your pills"
Let me have three boxes Of your pills by
return mail. for Chills and Fevor.'
| have over 100 such testimonials as these,
but want eff space compel me to conclude.
, 1877-02-23
WILKIE---FLYNN,
Disagreement at tho Jury.
Hp<cf1l 1fst1teA 10 Tie Tribune

Ebeciai 1tspatea 10 114 tribune
ROCKFORD, ILL.,, Feb, ..cc.--Just hoioro tho sd-
tnurnInent OF tho Court, at noon Today, Judge
Murphy ordcrcd Tint tho Jury In the Wllkio-
Flynn eaao bo brought into Ills presence. On
being naked II they had conn tu un agreement
In regard to tho guilt or innocence OF tlo de-
fendants. Wilkio or Flynn, tic foreman. Tlco-
tloru bowman, Informed tho Court that tho Jury
stuod HOW M thry stood ut tho hrst ballot. ayo
for conviction and seven for acquttal. lie alaa
as1le1 tiers WIS ITO prospect for au ugrcclucGt,
whcreupon tho Court discharged the Jury,
afut alI tho CtoqucHeo OF Stnsrs, OF FFuIc,
VI LalhEop, anil VI nargv, has buetl trustctl. Ono
Ut tho jurymtn remarked that lic believed thu
lefrnlants Ecro ~ guilty that II the Law would
t,avo allowed 1t tu would hnyu hangcA them.
.lho Jury stool as foilowa: ..
.Au,utttat-ll. II. IIakts, John G. Shazkcll,
Hiram Kltlwcl!, u. l., Cunningham, II. T., Whit
lual,, John Nrawn, JcicAl4h Elliott.
CUnytrtlnn--tfartru G, Iiowcn, ucorgo F,
Tongue, TAcoluso bowman, Harry Hammond,
G. Nrit.
Mr.. Eurly informed YOUR correspondent to-
day that no II i'll bu ready Tor trial again Ut the
nust September term Ut tho Booile County
Court. 1le also sad that additional cyttlcucu
Will ba forthcoming Ut tho uuxt trial Which ca1l-
not lhll 70 G1nytet both lcltu.lInta.
, 1877-02-23
ROME.

ROME, Feb. e22.-1u consequence OF Tho lecs-
Ion of tho Cnrt1!uuts that tho rcasscmbltng OF
tho Vatican Council would DO oprortune, the
Pope has distributed to them questions left TIN
snlycd by the previous ,uqatIng 1T the Cuunc{I,
With view of determining whether ho cannot
sulye them BY Ills own nutAority.
LONDON, Feb. ee3a--5 a. 1n.-A 7i'na dispatch,
from nonie says It il stnted that tho rope has
submitted all tho controversial luest:ots exist
lug IN the Catholic States to tho Carllnals, in
onlcr that they may indicate tllose upon whiet,
It would hc possibly IN cOllsu to terms. He haA
also askc.l them whit would bu tho means most
cnnforsnable to tbs doctrine Of tho Church l,y
which the Holy Bro could renluyc oil cnllsca
giving rtse to euntcsts, a1l attain the peacu Dr.
sired by al! lartIcs.
LHD0WCilowsK1.
Tic Standards dispatch from Rome states
TINT Italy has refused .uer,nany's denlanh for
tho cxtfalItIon Of Archbishop Lcdowchowuki
, 1877-02-23
WASlIINGTON'S BIRTHDAY.
The Good People Of Various Cities Dig
up the. Hatchet for Aud
Lang 6yno.
A Aartha' Washington Reception ut New
York Attended by the Grand
Dukes. :
Appropriate Celebration OF the
Day at Other Points,

Special Dl*po,tA ia ne 7ribpne
NEW York, Fen. :...-Waa!,Ington's Birthday
has been generally obscrvcd. The Customs
House closed aiter an hours opening in tho
unrning. Business Was mostly suspenttcd, and
not ONLY the public buildings but many private
ones were DECORATED with flags. Tic f5uo
weather crowded the parks and places OF umus,.
tnent' Various Of the military organizations
had receptions and parades. The notable fca,
ture was tho Martin Waaaina.on reception, q,
tue Academy OF Music, at which the .Graud
Dukes aud suite, President Lerdo aue
suite. and tho civil and military
authorities Of the city we're present.
The ball Was one Of tho most
s1icrrsstul that naa cycr been given here, both
~ brflllanry and numbers. Tic presence, Of
Aie1fa atni Constantine drew nut tic elite u
tul1Y ~ Il the ball were cspcclaily IN favor q
the Roral guests, anil VIA spltndit! thing fv1
thc st. Johns Guillf, undcr wIose auspices the
affair was siyen. A Kuss!nn booth tyas the frs
ti,lng that greeted The eyes VI tho Dukes o,,
tliclr entrance, MD foral ovation was offered
thctn bv tho young ladtes tn Russian cuttutno
VINO occupied the booth. The opening tllteati
represented a Martha. WastIna,on reception in
It'll dress, and was very brilliant.