The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-04-05

SENSE AND NONSENSE.
JOHNNIE is quite sure the picture Of a
Spitz dog he drew on the parlor wall was
good, because 1t made his father mad.
"AN independent editor is a man who
will crowd out new advertisement to
make room for . fresh piece of spring
poetry" says Southern paper.
PRoF. PRocroR says the earth is grow.
ing bigger. Yes, 1t has got 80 big that 1t
frequently rises up and bumps q man as
he goes home in the morning.
A UN1vERsAL dogma of fashion is:
Bfen chausee,. bien gaxtee It IN joli
mouchoir dc poole (well shod, we'll gloved,
and a pretty pocket-handkerchief.)
FARRAGyT was hshed to the mast, but
every autumn the pigs go willingly to the
mast without the necessity of being dashed
or driven by any other harsh means.
"Ho, ALL ye dyspepticsr' says patent
medicine advertisement. If all the dys-
peptics would hoe regularly their number
would be reduced MISUNDERSTANDING.
Mrs. MIDDIERIB says, speaking of ef-
fective irony, her husbands heclless hose
present the most striking specimens of
sock chasm she ever saw.-Burlinqto
Hasok. Eye.
my son." said doting mother to her
eight-year-old son, "what pleasure do you
feel like giving up during the Lenten sea-
son?" "Well, ma, guess I'll stay away
from school ~ was the renlv
A SAN FRANCISCO man. with 70 600 a
day income, has penchant for getting his
moneys worth. Considering the saucer q
part of the cup, he insists on both being
filled when he orders cup of coffee.
THE best or most extensively advertised
hotels are always the most prosperous and
popular. This is the rule all over the
world, from 1celand's Greasy Mountains
tentiOn of BOMfaces to this fact.-N. Y.
Eoening Mail.
IT would appear that the experience of
the Profitable Ledger of old was the same
as that of the ledger of the present day.
For the bed is shorter than that a man
can stretch himself on it, and the covering
narrower than that he can wrap himself in
it."-1saiah xviii, 20.
ABOUT the sickest typographical error
we have seen for some time is the recent
announcement that u certain gentleman
would deliver lecture ION the small. pox
for the benefit of the poor" The editor
wrote " on the 9th prox. and the intelli.
gent compositor will accompany colony
to Texas next month.-Norristoaen Herald.
"OH, what becomes," said Chloe fair,
of all the pins that from my hair
dfOp uuheeded ON the floor
And never miss OF see them more2"
My dear" said Darwin, "they all 60
Into our mother earth below;
There their development begins,
And ending they are terra-pinsr'
A NAN in Ansopia, Conn.,, had tooth
drawn. The charge was fifty cents, and
he rendered two dollar BILL The dentist
having only one dollar in change, the
obliging customer deliberately sat down
and had q sound mOlar extracted to make
the change even. Here is chance for
some one to say that this tooth-out story
is tOO.thin.
SAID he: ooh, he's seen great deal of
trouble in his time for so young chap.
Why, he used u come here with two gold
watches on and spring 0vcrcOat on each
arm-just gay, you know. Now, he has
to have his lluen buster dyed, and he looks
around for place where they can dye
two cOlOrs, so as 10 have facing on it
Rough, amt it:''
DEAN RAMSEY relates that at certain
dinner party the hostess observed that One
of the guests, an Hon. Mrs. Murray, had
no spoon for her soup, and called the at.
tention of the servant to the fact. The
man.servant, who was an eccentric charac.
fap snd IN sctr sv,o
| which was heard all over the room
Mum. the last time Mrs. Murray was
here we lost spooni''
In Philadelphia recently the Supreme
Court of Pennsylvania denied the appeal
of man condemned to death, upon the
ground that he was too poor to have the
papers in his case printed, as the rule OF
the Court requires. Rather than remit a
rule made for their own convenience, the
Judges therefore decided that man posi-.
Of an appeal and hanged.
"Ir's all very WE'LL" remarked red.
nOscd man in bad hat and an ulster of
the vintage of '73, Its all very we'll t.
say let business revive, but what we want
sir, is confidence, public confidence, sir
Each of us must be willing to bring out
more in circulation. Then the skies will
vest this morning-lend me fifty cents
will your
THE care with which the "best room
was kept from use by our ancestors, and
| indeed is now by some of the good coun
try wives of the present generation, wa.
illustrated in the case of good lady who
| in her last illness was visited by her pas
tor. Being ask.,i ii he was resigned, sh.
replied: :" l am perfectly happy, Brother
b have made my peace with thu
Lord, and got the key of the keepin' room
under my pillow. "-Boston Bulletin.
"WHAT's broke loose, Charley? Whcr,
are you going in such a hurry.' "I'n
going to the store" TRADE must be &C
tive with yOu." "It's not the trade tina
has called me out. But I'll explain til,
thing to you to keep down internal sus
picions. There are three partners in ou
store, and we have only two chairs. Tn
last man that comes in the morning has t,
stand up all day. 1t is very important TO
me to get to the store early this morning
good day."
A PARTY of plantation negroes wer
engaged in pitching coppers. 1t was dis
covered that after while several copper
were missing, though no one had-becn de
tected in picking up any but his own pen
MES. One old negro, whose coppers hat
mysteriously disappeared, at length be
coming satisfied in his mind that Their
was foul play going on, and observing tina
one OF the barefo0ted party had peculia
way every now and then of jerking hi
foot up to his hand, called pause in tn
game, saying: DE gemman wifi de tal
on his heel will pleas to withdraw" Th'
suspected individual retiring ON thi. pc
lite invitation, the game went ON with0u
the mysterious disappearance of any NOR
coppcrs.
| The Questionable Bonnet.
The grace of "good manners" include.
both self-respect and social respect; ant
it is a duty as-well as an accomplishment
Fun-making at q fellow. beings expens,
/ z. s-Yn - - - -