Bristol news. [volume] (Bristol, Va. & Tenn.) 1867-189?, 1877-11-13
Odds and Ends.

When Senator David Davis becomes
all angel. Of what Use will one pair oI
wings 10 to him ?-Whitehall Times
IA small boy having deyoured a
shoeERaker's awl a surgeon was cent
for, but alas, it was tool ate !"
The new winter bonnet will enable
n woman to 20 hareheaded at an ex.
pense Of from SIS to $40. -Easton Free
Press.
Edward Everett's son, Prof. Will
liam Everett, is now reported to be the
author of the No.Name novel, The
great match.
If every cloud has silver lining -
isn't it a wonder that his brother saw
ages don't rip Red Cloud open p
Whitehall, Times.
The free baths have been abolished
at Hartford, and mothers ayain know
their boys when they see them on the
strect,-Detroit Free Press.
King Kalakaua practices on musicai
Instruments and is free thinker. II
must lie great comfort to an amateur
musician To he able to dishelieve in the
existence of a hell. Worcester Press.
Just take notice that the cooler the
nights the Ofteuer a mans wife hears
burglars seeking to get in and the Of
tener he must leave His bed ia search
for them.-Detroit Free Press.
The Khcdive of Egypt having pre-.
scented New York with the remaining
Cieopatra's Needle, the city councils
have referred it to the committee on
sewers for aCtion.-Philsdelphia Bull
letin.
Keelr has nampl his first motor
Tho Tramp" because it won't work.
\ Y. Graphic. Aud here the SINH
hrity ends, for the motor ia filled with
water and the tramp IL filed with
whisky.
The night ferry-boal pat, ON at this
point to pass Chicago forgers and en-
beZz!ers into Canada will be discon.
tinued after this week, a. most of the
fellows now 20 around by way OF
Butfnlo.-FGee Press.
The president of a Philadplphia
street-cCr company has stolen 50 COO, o.
C00,and they have only iust now found
it OUT. He is plobably tho man that
punch for COuGuCt0rs.-Iurner Falls
Reporter.
BY the burning OF Louisville brew
cry yesterday 5000 gallons of beer
were Loot. 1t will now be in order for
some charitebly dsposed person to
start n relief fund for the Louisville
reportcrs,-St, Louis Journal.
There have been soGew grasshoppers
and so few grasshOpper stories ihia
year, that IL ia thought all the people
In the Missouri valley got clothes
enough last winter to last them over
two years. -Hawkeye.
Il admit that we lost little, misera-
bic Ohio remarked Republican in
an argument yesterday ; "hut, great
guns, how We swept everything before
us in France ?p This made the Dem.
ocrat look siCk.-Derrick.
n. B.-Contributors who send US
original Jokes are requested TO give
their names in full, not necessarily for
publication, but in order that they
may Ice added to the statistics Of the
state lunatic asylum. N. y. Herald.
The rural districts are literally alive
with tramps, and poultry 90 not en-
joy their usual faculties for growing
old. A piOus farmer says he does not
see why Providence didn't teach
chickens to roost under the barn.
Brooklyn Union.
Baseball has enriched the language
with fine expressive word. "Chica.
COED" IL now Synonymous with swim
died. The president makes "A base
strike for Canada there is run on
the bank, and the depositors find IA
nest of goose eggs. -Philadelphia Her
aid,
-Four Cinnamon have Joined Rap.
fist church i'm Massachusetts,. When
the first one was Immersed he came
up out the pool hlubbering, 'Whoo.
pee WhOOpee Me likee Lis muchee
Make good place flo washee shirtee
Go way Camden Post.
You can't always judge FROM APP
pearanccs. The young hend I'm hu-
man form who recently jalnped the
watermelous at a Sunday school pie
ME, proved to be the same boy who al
ways sang coward. Christian sol.
der" with the greatest warmth and
Nan NkT..lrT.r