The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-12-15
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

sumo the editor has not noticed that the D",'5
Ners never publishes clipped item without CIV. CIV,
ing due credit Hereafter, however, we shall ho'
expect To see our work plundered by that paper
We refer to little item about an earthquake
shock n-Aurord NetcS.
Ne have carefully examined the last three
numbers of the FREE TRADER but can ma noun
ing about an earthquake shock ciippcu from
the Mars or any other paper indeed ior INC
amount of labor the .Nt1cs seems to devote 10 ell
forts at witty paragraphiny its achievements IN
that way are in the main curiousy barren OF meat
and seldom tempt our scissors though we have
tried to be very careful, when making a clipping,
TO give the Vc,cs credit. The editor of that con-
Germ, II appears to us, might avoid some painful
mental throcs if he depended less on originality
than his scis sors for his wit, while the result
could not fail to be satisfactory to his readers.
As to ourselves, there is 10 pretcnse that a
1.-THE Of what appears in this column is original.
We try to snatch up, shorten up and dress up
the current wit Of the paragraphcr fraternity oc-
casonally interfering a remark or paragraph OF
our own, but relying mainly upon our scissors,
and carefully giving credit where We can.
Wendell Phillips, in his lecture on LOST arts,
saysithcre is not newspaper joke or wtticisln
Ol Inc uaS Dul WIS you III VIII b'l''l N"N''
and taste two or three thousand years ago by the
wits Of Greece and Rome. Yet there is liberal
sprnking of pure attic salt through the serb
bling of the modern Photographer. Here, for in
stance, is specimen from the Dixon Su". Phil
lips will hardly contend that this is borrowed
from the ancients, yet cot0is payjbuS, they said
few things better:
IN Sterling they did not have o crying baby al
the Abbott concert but then some fellow spit
tobacco Juice on a stove, and the audience were
Just as well satisfied.
Danbury Neus: Hewitt will show the world
at Paris the latest corn lodges"
A western teamstcr calls his near mule Ann;
says it Is a Scripture name-Ann, n nigh ass.
The handwriting on the wall for the little Re
publican politicians in the senate is "March 4h,
1871
A New York paper has "An article on babies
The best article on babies is-wcl It's not found
10 newspapers.-.N Louis Rcoablcd'.
:. c. stands for Simon Conovcr, Sunset Cox
SCHUYLER ColfaX, Simon Cameron and South Car
Dina Singular Coincidence, isn't lt?-Com
tdr
Let them yell; we have no hair to raise re-
marked the Senate the other day when Senator
Sargent wa, picturing The horrors OF Indian war
fare.
That Banker of Mine" has the best run Of
anything out. The edition rarely stops short OF
Europe .-Bartmgtoa Hd~hcB.
"a Pistol Ball. and How it Missed Lightning
Rod Man" is tantalzing headline in the St
Louis R,zttJi'ca0.
''Wcll," says the secretary Of the navy, 1.-THE
Hurons got stove up" Yes remarks the
President, "anda stove up is mighty conycn-
lent thing this weather"
An Engishman, recently arrived in Boston,
has distinguished himself by biting mans
thumb Off We suppose he must have been from
Gnawthumbcrland-N. y Com. Ade.
II is claimed that a new singer can rise one
bar. or about two yards and u half higher than
any other living tenor. Howl that do for high
" y. HeuM.
The mouth Of the Amazon" said professor
Of geography in st. Louis female seminary, sis
The biggest mouth in the world-present compa- !
ny always excepted"
Call me pet names-somcthing typical of
sweet sounds" he mulmured, and she said he
was gay Lutte.
4 Boston man Ia, invented something that
beats the telephone. He proposes 10 put in a
line Of women, fifty steps apart aud commit the
news to the fret as a secret.
correspondent wants 10 know the definition
Of the word dealer" and whether it means any
person who sells goods. No, it doesn't. The
dealer is the one who shui'cs the cards, turns
Jack and plays it alone.
1 brute" of a husband says the new winter
bunnets will enable woman to go barcheadcd |
%, an expense Of from fifteen TO twenty five dol
lars.
y southern paper has the new, that basc.balla
VIII be delivered from small cannon next year,
and that the catchcrs will be ron.cad. Thus in
our sports do We progress backward 10 the mid.
die ages when the players wore armol.
Thi, is how one of the editors Of the GToDb;c
Is slowly but surely worrying himself to death
The papers are trying to make = rhyme for
phelisk; a. for instance:
When DER the desert a ouclcgged obclisk,
Tall and tough,
SETS Out 10 walk 10 the ocean it, hobblc i o.
lccr enough
Times are %, hard as ever IN spite OF good |
crops, but II i comforting to know nevertheless
that quite a considerable portion Of our commu-
Lity i, not Obliged 10 follow the tramp business
for a living and cat three meals a day out of
farmers turnip patch aud sleep in cold hen
houses without any furnace in the cellar
4 Lowell finn sent a lot of hill, West Tor coli |
.cction. The lis, came back with the result !
marked against each name, one bcing marked |
dead" Three month, .fjcrward the same bill |
got into new lot that wa, forwarded, and when
The li,t came back the name Wa marked ",liu |
dead"
English !, the court language Of Germany.
The Cincinnati ro1,mociH says it is proud mo
lncni when Briton or on American, vi,itn.
the palace, g. -aluicd with Dot ~, a poorly
-fhplentit morning, amt it:'
Ny friend, have you a sulking wife.
Don't 90 and worry .. il.
But try and Use diplomacy
'Tis bcst-dcpend upon IT,