The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1877-08-23
PLE4SANTRIES.

CLERGYMEN, like railway Drakemen, 90
good deal of coupling.
SERENADE: "Home, sweet home, dah
am no place like home. y Colored lady
at the window: "Well, you jest better
git along home or I'll frow somfin.'
"PosTAL- CARD proposals p exclaimed
naughty young miss, reading over the
government advertisements. Well, I
neverl If a fellow whasn't stamps enough
to send his proposal in a letter, he hasn't
stamps enough to marry me-"
A LITTLE boy entered fish-market the
other day, and seeing for the first time a
pile of Holsters lying on the counter,
looked intently at them for some time,
when he exclaimed: "By gracious
thems the biggest grasshoppers I've
ever seen !''
How MUST a young bridegroom feel
when, just as he promises to endow his
bride with all his worldly goods, he sees
three of his tailors sneaking and lodging
around the church-door with things that
look awfully like capiases in their hands !?
-HoaOk-Eye.
TO SEAMSTRESS.
Oh what bosom but must yield,
When, like Pallas, you advance,
With thimble for shield,
And a needle for your lance?
Fairest OF the stitching train
Ease my passion by your art,
And In pity for my pain,
Mend the hole that's in my heart.
THERE had been a heavy thunder
storm. and the parched earth and wilted
vegetation drank in the refreshing show
ers. 'I should think the plants would
whisper to each other how delicious it
was" he exclaimed, enthusiastically.
eyes" said she, call but the onions;
they wouldn't be likely to whisper with
such breath"
In the Aztec language the word tele-
naf1equizel, they say, means simply 1t
kiss. We should have inferred as much
from these beautiful lines from one of
the great Aztec poets:
To press thee to this heart of mine
\ thousand times I've been impelled,
And yet those rosebud lips Of THINE
neer have telenamequizeled!
All, parting is my souls eclipse!
Then ere we say good-by, ma belle,
Let me impress upon thy lips
One fond, sweet telenamequizel!
Louisville Courier-JOurnal.
81 HAVE just bought a dog" says
Jones' eI never owned one before in
my life. / have been a housekeeper a
great many years, and never knew how
much comfort there is in dog. He is
always so kind and gentle and glad to
see me. When I go home he always
jumps up ON me and looks SO pleased.
When I go home late, and sometimes
do, he never looks gloomy and sad-he
never asks that cutting question, Where
have YOU been all this while p"
WITH a face as red as lobster,
and back like the shell of clam. the
wife stands over the kitchen stove and
manipulates raspberry jam.-Berkshdre
Courier. While her husband, with nose
like sunset, and a mouth like the song
VI IL fedG, 10dllS ONSI VI ilOC
lunch" and elevates schooners of beer.
-HaaUk-Eye. And her daughter, with
ear like shovel, and eye like Florida
bean, swings on the front gate with her
fellow, with darkness to cover the scene.
A RHEUMATIC old gentleman, whose
son was careless about shutting the
front door after him, called out to him
one cold day, when he had left the door
swinging wide, "See here, young man,
you leave that door open too much p
"Do I ?' was the response. "Then how
much open shall leave it ?" 81 mean
you leave it open too often !" thundered
the old gentleman. ooh, well, how
often shall I leave itopen p politely in
quired the son. The father did not dare
trust himself to reply.