Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-08-09
VOL. IS. NO. p.
my SILK UMBRELLA.
Harper's Bazat.

w hen Marcia came nome from
Europe she brought Der pretty tri-
fes for everybody-corals for these,
and canoes for those, and cairn-
germs for others: and she brought
me silk umbrella. had half hoped
for a picture, bit of bronze (being
a househoIder)' a majolica platter
What do you suppose Maria brought
me silk umbrella for?
No shabby one, either, let me tell
you. The silk of the thickest' the
steels of the stoutest, and the ham
die wonder of sculptured ivory.
To use? / should as soon have
thought of going out in the rain
with my new silk hat as with my
new silk umbrella. A silk umbrella
for a man who had never aspired to
an alpaca one, and who had always
held a fifty.cent cotton one, that
could be left and forgotten, lost and
stolen, with impunity, and nobody
grievously wronged thereby, as the
king of all umbrellas, and who new.
err carried an umbrella anywhere. but
10 rainy weather wore mockintoshl
Still, as umbrellas go, it was
beauty. 1t would give an air Of dis
to ones appearance, armed
faultl,ssly dressed even to
the umbrella. Being an amateur
farmer in small way, it became me
to be seen well dressed when | left
home. Then it would look finely on
the rack in the hall. 1t would be q
nice thing to lend lady going from
the house In a shower-a nice thing
for her to forget to return. too.
That reminded me: [ shouldn't
like to lose it, after all; | must
have it marked; that it was only
proper respect to Marcia. A neat
little silver plate, the jeweler said
(nickle would hardly suit so fine an
engraved with my name
and place-only two dollars. Al
ready the price of four umbrellas.
When the silk umbrella came home,
1 hung it, in it's case, on the rack;
but one of the several irresponsible
siuglo ladies who take more or less
interest in my affairs, assured me
that TO keep it hung up in it's case
would occasion it to split 10 the
folds. | took it down and spread
it wide open on the floor of the dark
cloak closet, when another of the
irresponsibles-and | don't know
how under heavens she knew it was
me that my umbrella
would become q one sided cripple If
l leftit spread wide open on the
floor. l began to wish | had never
had an umbrella. took off the case,
shook loose the folds, and hung it
up unmolested by the others.
The next result of my possession of
a silk umbrella was that, conscious
of my resources, | lent my mackin-
tosh, and the person to whom | lent
it was drowned III it; l had pre-
viously given away and recklessly
lost all my fifty cent umbrellas.
When, then, in drizzliDg weather |
wished to tramp through field and
visit the outlying dependencies of
my pig -sties, it seemed altogether
too homogeneous and unbecoming to
hang over the pig-sties under silk
umbrella with 8 carved ivory han
die and engraved silver plate, and
consequently l went in the rain,
caught a cold, had the pneumonia
and doctor, and receipted doc
tors bill for fifty dollars. and no
strength to speak of for six mont his.
| wished Marcia had given me no
present at all.
l had been looking forward, for
some time after my complete recov-
cry, to Marcia's wedding and my
journey to Waterway. Marcia was
not only the sole millionaire of the
name, but she was my favorite cous-
in, engaged to marry my dearest
friend, and the ceremony was to be
performed in great state by DR..
Wilder, of Brentford, an old clergy
man, the dearest friend of her dead
father and of mine, Certainly | had
some reason to look forward to the
wedding; and, moreover, being fully
pursuaded that farming YVES a no.
BILE occupation, | had been as fully
determined TO prove that it was o
paying one, and had therefore been
rather closely confined at home, so
that journey was quite an event,
at any rate. OF course | was to
make my best appearance, and of
course my old house keeper insist
ed that | should take my umbrella.
| demurred; for it was very much
in my way, with my portmanteau,
my rugs and my wraps, and the box
holding the wedding present. But
she carried the day, and | took it;
and of course did not open it all the
time l was gone.
AS soon as | was in the cars that
day, | comfortably disposed of my
personal property in various bar
riers around me, and enjoyed the
morning paper, until suddenly the
Junction was called, and started
up in hurry to make my connec-
tions. Satisfying myself when the
change was made that was in the
right car, began again to dispose
of my membranes, when-where
was my umbrella / bad left it be.
hind me. l was not going to give
that silk umbrella to the porter of
any train on earth. had just time
to spring off one train and back up
on the other, when away they both
shot in opposite directions, and |
and my umbrella were on one train,
and my valise, my wraps, my rugs
and wedding present were on the
other. Did 1 bless Hanway and his
great original umbrella? And the
price of how many kings of all UNI
brellas was there in the ticket was
obliged to buy for place to which
| didn't want to go, to say nothing
of the telegram at the first station
the disposal of my trapsl
fastening to the station and set
ting down my umbrella, l had writ
ten the message and was just pay.
ing for 1t. thinking the while with