Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1877-01-24
A Patent BOuncer.

|
tie invention which will be of untold valu,
TO the profession Of journalism when it i,
generally adopted, and we know that j.
Will rapidly come into universal use ae
soon as its merits ale understood and ap
precinIed. We believe it is fully equal, il
all that the term implies, to the lamou,
Bogardess Kicker, less liable to get out o
order, and less easily detected by casual
visitors. 1t is known as Middlerib',
Automatic Welcome" The sancum is on
The same floor ns the newsroom. being
separated from it by II partition, in which
Is cut It large window, easily opened by an
automatic arrangement. The editor
,abe is placed in front of that window
md near the head of the stairs, and on tho
SIDE Of the table next the window, directly
opposite the editor, the visitors chair is
placed. 1t has an inviting look about it.
and its entire appearance is guilelcss and
commonplace. But tho strip Of floor on
which that chair rests is n deception and
fraud. 1t is an endless chain, Ike the
lloor IF IA horse power, and is operated at
| will by the editor, who has merely t.
touch spring in the floor to set it in mo-
| ton. It's operation can best be understood
by personal inspection.
Yesterday morning about 10 o'clock Mr..
Bostwicll came in with Il funny story to
tell. He naturally Hoped down iato The
chair that had the strongest appearance Of
belonging to some one else and began in
his unusual happy vein: I've got the
richest thing-oh! ha. Ia. hi!-the best
thing by George! can't-oh! Id,
In, ha! Oh. it is too good! OH by
George, the richest thing! Oh! it's too
| loud! You must never tell where you
got-oh, hy George. can't do it! It's too
good! You know The oh, ny George,
ca" Here the edi or touched the spring.
| and II nail-grab under the bottom Of the
chair reached swiftly up and caught Mr.
Boswick by the cushion Of his pants, the
window flew up. and the noselcss belt ol
| floor gliding on its course bore the aston
ished Mr.. Bostwick through the window
out into the newsroom, half way down to
| The cases. where he was IT Crived with
great applause by the deIigh ed compos-
/ iors. The window had slammed down ~
soon Us he had passed through, and when
the editorial foot wa> Withdrawn from the
spring and the chair stopped and the nail
grab resumed its accustomed place. young
Mr.. Bostwck found himself So kind OF
oul OF the sanclum, like it might be, that
he went slowly and d'j"ctedly down the
stairs, Us 1t were, while amazement sat
upon his brow, like.
The next casual visitor was Mr. Alexis
FlnXcter the critic. He had copy of the
HuWk-Eye in his hand, with all lhc typo
graphical errors marked in red ink, and
his lace was so wrrathcd in smiles that it
WAS impossible to tell where his mouth
ended and his eyes began. He took the
v, cant chair and spread the paper out be
fore him, covering up The editors manu-
scrip. MY keen vision and delicate
sense Of accuracy he sid "are the
greatest crosses Of my life. Now, here
you SEE is d" The spring clicked
softly, like a. echo, to the impatient move
mrnt Of the editors foot, the nail grab
took hold like II buIl-Iog helping II Bur-
lingtOn troubadour over the garden fence,
the chair shot back through the window
like Il meteor, and The window came
down wi h slam that sounded like Il wood
Ell giant getting off The shol test bit Of pro
1 lhhlbl hIlONh " man hbh bl WIS Slltul
again. Mr.. Flaxeter SIT very close 10 the
frosted window, staring blankIy at the
clouJed glass, seeing nothing that could
have offered any exp anation Of what he
would have firmly believed was land
side had he not heard the editor, safe in
his gardpd den, softly whispering, :" We
shall meet but we shall miss him.
Then there was brief interval of quiet
in the sanclum, and rustling Of raimtnt
Was heard on the stairs. A lovely woman
entered, and stood unawed in the editorial
presence. Tie f.. p, on its part was
rather nervous and uncomfortable. The
lovely woman seated herself in the fatal
chair. She slapped her little gripsack on
The table and opened her little subscrip-
ZION book She said Il am soliciting
cash coniribulions--stri exclusively
and peremptorily, cash contrbulions--to
pay , fl the church debt and buy an organ
or the mission church OF the Forlorn
Strangers, and eXpect-' There are
times when occasion demands great effort.
| The editor bowed his head, and after one
brief spasm of rcmorse tell Tor the secrc
spring. The window went up like
charm the reckless nail grab hung back
for Il second as if held by u feeling Of mate
delicacy, and then it shut its eyes and
smothcred lis pity, and reached up and
| look II dctth-likG hold on II bundle Of able
and influential newspapers and IL nctwo X
of string and tape, and the cavalcadc back
ed out into the newsroom with coIOrs fly
ng. The char stopped just before the IT.
mlllar S lrlt who was W shlng the forms,
and rs the lovely woman gazod ut the
lnky face she shrieked, "AIcrcllul heavens
where am I?' and was BONE down the
gloomy stairway unconscious, while the
printers whose cases We're nearest the
wicked window heard the editor singing
| us il might be to himself "Deartst sister
| thou hast left us
An hour of serenity and tranquility in
the editorial room was broken by brisk
| business like step on the stairs, the door
flew open with II bang that shot the KEY
halfway across the room, and Il sociable-
| looking, familiar kind OF Il stranger ilm.
med inlo The chair, slapped his hat over
Ihe inkstand, pushed II pile Of proof, 20
plges of copy,a IL box of pens, the paste-cup
and II pair of scissors off the table, to
make room for the old, frmililr hIt SAM
pie case, and said in one brief breath: &"
am agent for Gamberton's Popular Cen.
tennial Worlds History and American
Citizens Treasure Book of Valuable In
formation sold only by subscription and
issued in mont''ly parts whole work com
pele in thirty parts each number embcl-
lished with one handsome steel plate en-
craving and numerous beautifully execut-
ed WuOd-culs no similar work has ever
been published in this country and ut the
exceedingly low price ut which it is offered
only 81 per vol" The spring clicked
| like pistol shot. the window went up
halfway through the ceiling, the nail grab
took hold like u three -barrellcd harpOon,
and the column moved on its backward
way through the window, down the news.
room, past the foreman, standing grim
and silent by the imposing stone, past the
cases vocal with the applause and encour-
aging and conSohtory remarks of the
composilOrs, on to the ally windows, over
lhe sills, bowling, yelling, shrieking, pray
ing, the unhappy agent was hurled to the
pavement, three stories below, where he
hit on his head and plunged into cellar,
where he tried to get subscription out of
a man who was shoveling coal. -BWrltng-
ton BaUk. Eye.
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SIGNIFICANCE OF THE EAR.-Small ears