The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1877-01-18
PARKER's REVENGE.

l. PARKER'S REVENGE.
:, A SOCIETY MAN WITH BOOTS TOO SMALL
TALE OF ANGUISH WITH TRAGl
END.
AS Mr.. Adolphus Parker drew on his boot
on Christmas evening, after Juggling violent
ly at the straps and growing cardinal red
the face, he remarked, 'sThey are deuce
tight" lie then sat down on the edge {
the bed, and resting his foot on his knee fel
of the boot with an expression OF the liycli
est interest. ut pnches across the lnstel
and binds across the corn on my little toe.
he further observed, "and this Internal coun
ter is so stiff that it'll blister my heel befor
I've worn it an hour. Hang it all, why can
rested the other foot on the other knee ant
said with dreamy sigh, as he felt Of the in
step, My bunion will catch it. Corfoun(
Jones; he shan't make another pair of boot
for me. Nice boots to dance in, but they
look enough sight better than the old one!
| ana III wear EN- anyhow.
A half hour aftcrward q carriage-a livery
carriage, none of those with the vulgar mum
bers painted on the lamps deposited Mr.
Adolphus Parker and his tight boots and
Miss Georgiana Barber and her white slip
pers at Marines. Mr.. Parker jumped into
the gentlemen's dressingroom, and Miss
Barber tripped lightly and gayly into the
| ladies' ditto to divest herself Of her wraps.
Fifteen minutes thereafter they passed into
the brilliantly-lighted ballroom, where al
ready half a hundred couples where whirl-
ing giddily to the rapturous strains of
"What Shall the Harvest Be?''
Show delightful Isn't it nice p breathed
the beautiful Miss Barber. ''How can you
keep your feet STILL Adolphus ~
AS matter OF fact Aldolphus couldn't
keep his feet still. First he wiggled his toes
in the right boot to ease up the pressure on
the corn on the little toe. Then he stood
on the
OUTSIDE OF THE LEFT BOOT
to relieve the weight which was grinding
down the tender bunion; and then he tried
to settle himself forward in both boots to
stop the wear and tear Of the counters,
which were rapidly peeling the skin off his
heels, His whole being was wrung with the
agony of physical suffering, but settled ex-
preston Of resignation rested upon his in
telligent countenance. He even smiled when
Georgiana made the above remarks.
sob! let's waltz exclaimed that delight
ed young lady, and the next instant Adolf
plus had one arm about her waist, she had
one Write glove on his shoulder, and the
other arms Of both, with the hands clasped
began moving up and down like an anima-
ted pump handle. Away they went! The |
strains of the orchestra were positively in
toxicating. The gauzy, snowy garments of
Miss Barber waved and undulated with the
poetry OF motion. Ned Raymond used to
say last winter that she was the best waltzer
On the West side. And Adolphus tried his
best to bring his legs around and plant his
feet down at the correct time.
'sYon are out of time," murmnred the
gentle Miss Barber.
Gam ]? I'll try to do BETTER
Adolphlls bent his head ever her shoulder,
bringing the end OF his Grecian nose on a
line with her tortoise back-comb, and frown-
ed dismally.
ssYou're out of time again. Oh, dear ~
''Why, how stupid am,' and an express
sion of pain like that rung from the sufferer
when the watermelon collie twists the hard
est fitted across his face. But on they
moved, swinging and twirling to the dreamy
measures of the orchestra, Mr.. Parker bring
ng his right foot around with all the consid-
Grafton for the corn which he could possibly
Destow, bringing his left foot around with a
careful attention to the tendencies of his
ounion, and bringing both feet around with
Tue reference to the raw heel on each. But
ne was miserable. The happiness of the
hour, of the whole evening, had been i4th-
essly swept away by tight boots. The rap
,urous strains of music could not cheer his
onely heart, and the smiles OF the happy
Miss Barber could not thrill his being as they
mad always done before. There are no flow
,rs in the pathway of life for 4 man with
light boots.
The slow, dreary movement OF the waltz
changed to a rapid, ecstatic movement, and
Miss Barber said, easter! faster'' She
must have wondered why Adolphus squeez-
I'd her hand 80 violently, and frightened his
grasp around her waist as he accelerated his
limbs.
Courses on that dolt OF 4 bootmaker,'
sighed Adolphus past Miss BARRIERS left ear.
''What did you say?"
Nothing; didn't say anything
''Faster! faster ~ exclaimed Miss Barber,
n rather petulant tone. And poor Adolf
ohus hurried his tight boots, the tender bun
on, the corn on the little toe, and the two
olistered heels forward as fast as he could.
elbow awkarlly this man dances,' said
Miss Barber to. herself. 'He don't keep
step haH the tiInc: There he goes again
III out OF time.''
There was wild tumult among the yio-
ins and bows; the violoncello emitted groans
not less rapidly than did Mr.. Parker. The
lime quickened, and everybody whirled
With a bewildering fleetness of foot.
''Faster! faster ~ exclaimed Miss Barber
lgain.
A spasm of agony darkened Adolphus'
and he made Il desperate move
forward, fairly shrieking with pain as he did
30. The foot with the bunion was way be-
lind time, and the foot with the corn was
out little off. Adolphus then made des-
oerate attempt to bring up the tagging bun
on foot, and the bunion then gave such
sudden, agonizing twinge that he thought it
lad exploded. Then the corn foot fell con-
'iderably to the rear, and Adolphls sought
o spur it to time. In doing so he STEPPED
ON THE ROOF OF THE BUNIoN,
md then his head whirled the room grew
strangely dark, and deathly pallor over
pread his face Then both feet CROPPED wild
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