The New Orleans daily Democrat., 1877-07-29

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Of the Washington Monument.
"Formosa." !,
"T aee~in the North Atlantic" said
the Secretary, nodding his head. -.
"Pardon me-in the South Pacific" !"
corrected the President, who was proud
I'm the Atlantic and Pacific" said
Mr.. Evarts gravely. "Formosa is from
the Latin fOrntes, an Ant, 80 called from
the ravages, OF that insect. Hence the
torn Antilles applied to the West
Indian group-belng evidently cor
ruption OF Ant.Hillys."
"But ] suppose there ID no objection
to my getting such an order?' asked
the President, hastily.
''That remains to be seen. How do
you know--how could you identify the
bones of your aged relative? p? Are you
prepared" said the Secretary, rising to
his feet with sudden severity, and turn
Ing upon the Executive as IL he were
to put your Il ger on this bone and say
1t Is the tjbi6 Of my relative; can you
swear to her spinal processes; can you.
lifting her fieshless hand, say these are
the metacarpal bones l have SO often
pressed p You were familiar with her
only In the flesh. Non Constdt that
these bones are hers originally. No. /
should require an attested certificate Of
that fact.
But If / get the certificate; will you
promise to give mo the order"
Il am not prepared to say yes or no.
I might and might not. A delicate
legal question arises here, which 1t is
my duty to consider. Your grand daunt
probably fell victim to the peculiar
tastes Of the Anthropophagi who swarm
In those islands. At least for the sake
of argument we will admit that ut one
time your family was edible, and that
| your relative was-in plain language
eaten. Now nation, at peace with the
United States, having, according to
their local laws, become seized and pos
sessed OF the flesh of your aunt, / am
not certain but the entire skeleton may
also belong to them. When you get q
piece Of meat from your butcher do not
part with your rights to the bone. In
deed ! am not certain but an actio n
would lie against the United States In
the event. of the forcible removal OF
your relative" ,
"Then nothing can be done, said the
President blankly.
'At present, mol In the course OF a
few years-ln which / need not say no
particular loss Of property will be en-
tailed upon you'll will look into 1t. You
will file your papers with my clerk"
But l might appeal to the Prest-
dent"
II am--for these purposes--the Presi-
dent. Good morning, sir" and the
Secretary took up another card.
II don't see," said the President to
himself. as he heavily descended the
stairs, "that I'm doing much In the
Persian way of business. 1 can't bow
string Seward and Evarts, and don't
know tina, ! ought to IL / could. wish
I could get hold OF some real wrong
and Injustice"
He looked ut his watch and found he
had spent six hours at the State Depart
ment. He was beginning to be faint
from hunger, and he turned into the
first restaurant that invited. AS he
passed the bar he heard his name
spoken, and remembering the advice OF
Haroun, ordered glass OF seltzer and
mingled with the crowd before the
counter. Some of the gentlemen were
tipsy; all were loquacious..
"f tell you what, gentlemen, what
that Hayes oughter do. He oughter
order out 100000 men and take posses
sion Of all them railroads" said one.
"And then he oughter Just run them
railroads with reg'l tariff OF freights
and fares himself, and employ them
men at fair wages"
eyes, but that amt the kind O. man
Hayes is. Why, if he had the sabe o
you and me he jist hev sent enough
troops over into Mexico and jist gob-
bled up enough O. that Kentry to pay
the national debt
"I tell you, gentlemen, there amt no
craftsmanship in the country, Look at
the chances we had to get Cuby the
other day, along O. that frigate firing
into American colors. That Evarts AIM
II suppose" thought the President
wearily, tits the proper Persian thing
to make q memorandum Of these opin-
ions Of the people and present them to
the Cabinet. But don't see that am
gaining much."
A little refreshed by his dinner, he
made his way to the Interior Depart
ment. As he assembled the steps man
passed him hurriedly, as II seeking to
enter without observation. Forgetting
his incognito for moment, the Pres
ident called out, 20, Schurz?"
The man leaped wildly into the air
shuddered, grimaced, and shouting enc
vacancies" disappeared madly down
the corridor.
"Well, won't disturb him. But why,
after all, Is he so incensed at office
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life?"
Communing thus, the President went
from office to office, from bureau tc
bureau, but always with the same re-
suit. There was no complaint, no ap.
probation; the cold Indifference Of a
vast piece of complicated machinery
seemed to control the entire building
until an unlocked for event gave the
President an opportunity to exercise hi
generous, just and chivalrous Persian
instincts. Passing through the ante
room, he saw very pretty girl drying
her wet eyes in the corner. Struck by
her grief and her beauty, the President
approached her with mingled fatherl.
kindness and magisterial condescen
sion, and begged to know the reason O.
her distress.
II have just been dismissed the serv
ice," she said, with heart broken sob
And why, my dear?"
Because my second cousin is carpen
7 ter in the navy yard at Mare Island -
l. -, l~r,