Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1877-08-30
Anmutuas department,
BUNGAY,S EXPERIMENT.


suspected that Mrs. Bungay didn't care as
much for him as she ought to. So one day
he went up to the city, after leaving word
that he would be gone two or three days
While there he arranged with friend to send
telegram to his wife, at a certain hour, an
nouncing that he had been run over on the
railroad and killed. Then Bungay came
home and slipping into the house unpercelved,
secreted himself in the closet in the sitting
room, to await the arrival of the telegram,
and see how Mrs. Bungay took it. After a
while it came, and he saw the servant
girl give it to his wife. She opened it.,
and as she read it she gave one little start.
Then Bungay saw smile gradually over
spread her features. She rang for the girl,
and when the servant came, Mrs. Bungay
said to her:
"Mary, Mr.. Bungay has been killed. I've
just got the news. [ reckon I'll have to put
on black for him, though I hate to give up
my new bonnet for mourning You just 60
round to the milliners, and ask her to fetch
me up some of the latest style of widows
bonnets, and tie bunch of Grape on the door,
and then bring the undertaken here"
While Mrs. Bungay was waiting she smiled
continually, and once or twice she danced
around the room, and stood in front of the
looking-glass, and Bungsy heard her murmur
to herself:
II amt such a bad Hooking woman, either.
I wonder what James will think of me p
"James!" thought Bungay, as his widow
took her seat and sang softly, as if she felt
particularly happy; "~ho'n the thunder's
James2 She certainly can't mean that in
famous old undertaken, Toombs? His name
is James, and he's widower but it's prepos-
ferrous to suppose that she cares for him, or is
going to prowl after any man for husband
as quick as this"
While he brooded, in horror, over the
thought, Mr.. Toombs arrived. The widow
said
sMr. Toombs, Bungay is dead run over
by locomotive, and chopped all up"
"Very sorry to hear it, madam l sympa-
thize with you in your afaiction."
"Thank you it is pretty sad. But don't
worry much. Bungay was poor sort of a
man to get along with, and now that he's
gone I'm going to stand it without crying my
eyes out. Well have to bury him, s'pose,
though ?"
"That is the usual thing to do in such
cases."
"Well, want you to tend to it for me. l
reckon the coronerll have to sit on him first.
But when they get through, if you'll just col:
lect the pieces and shake him into some kind
of bag, and pack him into coffin, I'll be
obliged"
"Certainly, Mrs. Bungay. When do you
want the funeral to occur?"
20, most any day. P'raps the sooner the
better, SOS we can have it over. It'll save
expense, too, by taking less ice. | don't
want to spend much money on it, Mr.. Toombs.
Rig him up some kind of cheap coffin, and
mark his name with brush, and bury him
with as little fuss as possible. I'll come along
with couple of friends and we'll walk. No
carriages. Times are too hard"
81 will attend to it"
"And, Mr.. Toombs, there is another matter.
Mr.. Bungay's life was insured for about TWEEN
ty thousand dollars, and I want to get it. |
shall think of marrying again"
"Indeed, madam!'
Eyes; and can you think Of any body
who'll suit me?"
81 dunno I might Twenty thousand
you say he left ??
"Twenty thousand yes. Now, Mr.. Toombs,
You'll think me bold, but ouly tell the hon
est truth when say that prefer widower,
and man who is about middle-age, and in
some business connected with cemeteries"
"How would an undertaken suit your"
II think very well, if could find one; [
otter told Bungay that 1 wished ne was an
undertaken"
"WelI, Mrs. Bungay, it's little kinder
sudden; haven't thought much about it;
and old Bungay's hardly got fairly settled
in the world of the hereafter; but business
is business, and if you must have an un.
dertaker to love you and look after that life
insurance money, it appears to me that am
lust that kind Of a man. Will you take me ?"
20, James! fold me to your bosom J!
James was just about to fold her, when
Buugay, white with rage, burst from the
closet and exclaimed:
"Unhand her, villain Touch that woman
and you die! Leave this house at once, or
I'll brain you with the poker! And as for
you, Mrs. Bungay, you can pack up your
duds and quit. I've done with you; know
that you are cold-hearted, faithless, abom-
Unable wretch! Go, and 60 at once! did
this to try you, and my eyes are opened"
II know you did, and concluded to pay
you in your own COIN
"That's too awful thin. 1t won't hold
water"
"It's true, anyhow. You told Mr.. Nc:
Gill you were going to do it, and he tofd
me-"
"He did, hey" I'll bust the head off Of
him."
"When you are really dead will be good
deal more sorry, provided you don't make
such fool of yourself while you're alive"
"You will /? You will really be sorryf"
"Ofcourse."
"And you won't marry Toombs? Where
is the man Toombs =? By George, I'll 60 fol
him now! He was mighty hungry for thai
life-insurance money I'll step around ano
kick him at once while I'm mad. Well talk
this matter over when I come back"
Then Bupgay left to call upon Toombs, ano
when he returned he dropped the subject
He has drawn up his will so that his wife il
cut off with shilling if she employs Toombs
as the undertaken.
He COULDN'T DRINK WINE.-There wa
a noble youth who, on being urged to take
wine at the table of famous statesman IL
Washington, had the moral courage to refuse
He was poor young man, just beginning
the struggle of life. He brought letters tt
the great statesman who kindly invited hin
home to dinner.
"Not take glass of wine" said the grea
statesman, in wonderment and surprise.
"Not one single glass of wine?" echoed thu
statesman's beautiful and fascinating wife, q