The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1877-09-13
WHEN Tartar meets Turk,
With their mutual ferocities,
Then-hOrrible work =


Comes the tug of atrocites-Pu2ch.
IT is so easy for young ladies to be
good. Even in kissing each other they
act the golden rule, do unto others as We
would that men should do unto you.
A MILWAUKEE editor says George Sand
may have died from strong coffee, but
there has been no mortality from that
cause at his clearinghouse.
FIRST New Yorker-'I consider him
man Of first class business talent. Sec
ond New Yorker" All, indeed What
was the amount of his defalcation ?"
A sHoP-KEEPER in the far West, having
had stormy discussion with his better
half, put the shutters up and affixed the
following notice: "Closed during alter
cations"
HORNETS cannot talk the English Ian
guage; but when they tell picnic
party to leave it is as clearly understood
as if uttered by the most grammatical
Bostonian.
A ST.. LOUIS woman says it is no worse
to enoircle iady's waist with your arm
in ballroom than hug your friends
sister on the back stairs. No worse
Why, it is not as good.
"MADAME," said an impairment
boarder to his landlady, "your butter is
too aristocratic for my democratic taste.
1t is one Of the cases in which sweetness
is preferable to rank"
WHEN Swiss hotel-keeper gets hold
of an American newspaper, he runs his
eye eagerly over the list of new bank
rupts to see who will probably be his
most liberal guests in few weeks.
"WE fnd," said Coroner's jury out
West, "that Bill Thompson came to his
death by holding five aces when Jake
Smith held four And we find that nine
aces are i've too many in a pack"
They were talking in a country town
Of Rossini and his operas. "The Bar
Der of Seville" was the immediate sub
ject of conversation, and the host, mu-
steal genius, turned to farmer in the
assemblage, and said: "You know
Rossini's Barber Of course?" "No,
[ am sorry to say, [ do mott shave my
SELF"
WORDSWORTH, said Charles Lamb,
60 one day told me he considered Shak-
speare greatly overrated. 'There is an
immensely Of trick in all Shakespeare
wrote, he said, 'and people are taken by
it. Now, if had a mind, I could
write exactly like Shakespeare. So,
you see," proceeded Charles Lamb
quietly, " it was only the mind that was
wanting"
AN eminent Scottish divine happened
to meet two of lis parishioners at the
house Of a lawyer whom he considered
too sharp a practitioner. The lawyer
jocularly and ungraciously put the ques-
ton, doctor, these are members of
your flock may I ask, do you look upon
them as white OF black sheep?' CT
don't know" answered the divine, dry
ly, "whether they are black or white
sheep; but know, if they are here long,
they are pretty sure to be feeced."
"WHY don't I go out into the coun-
try % said the tramp, gazins with scorn
at his heartless interrogator-," why
amt it harvest time? Them farmers
are just mean and small-souled enough
to AK man to turn to and work for his
victuals. Do you suppose I want to
have the back of my neck all blistered
up, and my hands stuck full of thistles,
and like as not get mashed up III a
thrashing machine? And besides, [
never could eat fried pork and hot bis
cult all the time. It amt healthy"