The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1877-02-28
HAWAIIANGAZETTE
AN INDEPENDENT JOURNAL,
DEVOTED TO HAWAIIAN PROGRESS.
PUBLISHED AND EDITED BY
HENRY NJ. WITHIN Y.
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY rs, 1877
Moses Refuted.

The subjoined ludicrous production, from |
the New York Times, is one of the best |
burlesques on the " scientific method" that
have come under our notice. The hit at
biologists who construct elaborate theories |
on exceedingly frail suppositions might well !
be extended to some learned professors in
other branches of science, who have reared
wonderful but substantial fabrics of appar-
ent fact solely from the /" scientific % uses
of their imag:natons."
a new and violent blow has Just been
struck at the Mosaic account ofcreation by
the discovery of an extremely important
fossil in coffee sack at Baltimore. In the
center of this sack was found the skull of
a monkey. There can be no doubt as to
the facts The coffee was of the variety
called Rio, and the skullwas perfectly pre-
served. Let us dwell for little upon the
meaning of this discovery as interpreted by
the principles of geology. The coffee sack
was y (say 1873 inches in diameter, and
four feet in height. The skull, which lay
in the middle of it, was therefore feet be-
low the surface. To suppose that it was
violently forced into the sack, after the lat
ter was full, would be eminently unscienti-
tic. No one imagines that the fossil birds
of the Old Red Sandstone dug down into
that locality through the superintendent
strata Nothing is more universally con-
coded than that fossils are always found
where they belong. The animals whose
remains we find in the rocks of the paleo-
zoic, the meso.Gothic. and the Syro-Ph9-
nician strata, belong, respectively, to those
several systems. The fossil monkey skull
was, therefore, deposited in the coffee sack
when the latter was half full, and the 3 feet
of coffee which rested upon it was subse-
quent deposit. Now, it follows from this
premise that monkeys existed during the
early part of the Rio coffee period. 1t is
the opinion of most biologists that the Rio
coffee period succeeded the tertiary period,
and Immediately preceded the present Pc
| riod. Now, no tertiary monkeys have yet
been found but the Baltimore discovery
shows that monkeys existed as early as the
middle of the Rio Coffee period, date far
earlier than any which has hitherto been
assigned to them.
1--WE are now in position to inquire
what is the least period of time which must
have elapsed since the skull of the Balti-
more monkey was the property of live
and active simian. The answer to this
question must be sought by ascertaining the
rate at which coffee is deposited. 1t is the
opinion of Mr.. Huxley, based upon long
and careful examination of over three hnn-
bred garbage boxes, that coffee is deposited
in ground condition at the rate of an inch
in thousand centuries, but the deposition
of unground coffee is almost infinitely slow
er. He has placed bags, coffee-mills, and
other receptacles in secluded places, and
left them for months at time. without
finding the slightest traces of coffee in them.
Although Huxley does not hazard guess
at the rate of deposition of unground Rio
coffee, Professor Tyndall does not hesitate
to say that it is at least as slow as the rate
of deposition of tomato cans Let us sup
pose, as we are abundantly justified in do
ing, that 30,G00,000 of years would be re-
quired to bring about the deposition of a
stratum of tomato cans one foot thick all
over the surface of the globe and an equally
long period must certainly have elapsed
while foot of ungrouud coffee was ac-
cumulating over the skull of the Baltimore
monkey. We thus ascertain that the mon
key in question yielded up his particular
variety of ghosts and became fossil fully
S0,000,000 of years ago. Probably even
this enormous period of time is much less
than the actual period which has elapsed
since that monkeys decease; and we may
consider ourselves safe in assigning to his
skull the age of 50,000,0OO years, besides
few odd months.
In the light of this amazing revelation,
what becomes of Moses and his 5000 years?
1t will hardly escape notice that he no.
where mentions Rio coffee. Obviously, this
omission is due to the fact that he knew
nothing of it. But if he was unacquainted
with one of most recent formations, how
can we suppose that he knew anything
about the elder rocks-the metamorphic
and stereoscophic stratas? And yet it is
this man, ignorant of the plainest facts of
geology, and of its very simplest strata,
who boldly assumes to tell us all about the
creation !''