davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-06-06

Last night, just after Blinkus
and his wife were snugly slowed
away in bed, Mrs. B. thought she
heard the front door slam.
"Hubbie, dear, do you hear that
front door slammin'
"No, dearie, locked it just be-
fore / wound up the clock"
81 didn't see you go out in the
hall"
"But did, love-"
81 think you must be mistaken"
"Well, / know when locked the
door, blame II y
"Now, you shan't swear at me.
That door is open, and you know
1t. S'posin' the burglars get In and
carry off all the silveri We'd be
in nice fix."
"They'd be worse off with the
old plated stuff. Besides, who ev-
er heard of q burglary above A
street" I"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-06-06
"AIi Hands Below"

A good story is told of a parrot
who had always lived on board Of
a ship, but who escaped at one of
the Southern ports, and took
refuge in a church. Soon after the
congregation assembled, and the
minister began preaching to them
in earnest fashion, saying there
was no virtue in them-that every
one of them would go to an endless
perdition unless they repented.
Just as he spoke the sentence, up
spoke the parrot from his hiding
place:
Gall hands below !"
To say that "all hands" were
startled would be a mild way of
putting it. The peculiar noise and
unknown source had much more
effect upon them than the parsons
voice ever had. He waited a mo-
ment, and then, shade or two
paler, he repeated the warning.
"All hands below !" again rang
out from somewhere.
The preacher started from his
pulpit and looked anxiously around,
inquiring if anybody had spoken.
"All hands below !" was the only
reply, at which the entire panic
stricken congregation got up, and
a moment afterward they all bolted
for the doors, the preacher trying
his best to get there first, and
during the time the mischievous
bird kept up his yelling:
Gall hands below !"
There was an old woman present
who was lame and could not get
away as fast as the rest, and in o
short time she was left entirely
alone. Just as she was about tc
hobble out the parrot few down
and, alighting on her shoulder
yelled:
Gall hands below 70
"No, no, Mister Devil! !" shrieked
the old woman, "you don't mean
me. / don't belong here. 1 go tc
the other church across the way"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-06-06
Ii is Better.

II is better to wear a calico dress
with trimming, if it be paid for,
than to owe the shopkeeper for the
most elegant silk, cut and trimmed
in the most bewitching manner.
Better live in log cabin all
your own, than in brown stone
mansion belonging to somebody
else.
Better walk forever than run in
debt for horse and carriage.
Better to use the old cane-seated
chairs and two-ply carpets, than to
tremble at the bills sent home from
the upbolsters for the most elegant
parlor-set ever made.
Better to meet your business ac-
quaintances with free, "don't-
owe-you-a-cent" smile than to
dodge around the corner from q
dun.
Better to pay the organ-grinder
two cents for music, if you must
have it, than to owe for q piano.
Better gaze upon bare walls than
upon pictures unpaid for.
Better eat thin soup from earth
en- dishes, if you owe your butcher
nothing, than to dine off Of lamb
and beef and know that it does not
belong to you.
Better have a fit of Mysteries
than run in debt for furniture,
cloth, or anything else you may
wish for.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-06-06
Thoughts.

Thoughts suggest thoughts, and
these thoughts other thoughts, ad
in .fnit,tm.
Thoughts are invisible and more
until clothed in language, or embod-
led in words then they can both be
seen and heard. Without thoughts
to direct the orators speech, the
authors pen, or the artists hand,
no work could be accomplished, the
world would become a dreary waste
and man would soon be annihilated. i.
Thoughts are like diamonds
they sparkle, no matter how rough
and uncouth their setting; and like
diamonds, too, they are valued for
their brilliancy, and the more highly
they are polished the better they
shine.
Thoughts belong to their origina-
tor until set free and scattered I;
then they become public property
and can never be collected together
again as at FIRST. The only way to
keep your thoughts Is not to divnlge
them-not even as q secret.
Thoughts unexpressed, however,
whilst they do no harm, do no good
Like candle hid under q bushel
they burn, but shed no light
Therefore 1t is best to divulge your
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-06-06
Whole No. 304.

eff you don't get up and lock
that door I'll rush out and scream
for the police. I'll rouse the
neighborhood if it's the last act Of
my life"
Blinkus, somewhat alarmed at
the threat, rose up and began to
tumble around for a match.
"The matches are at the other
end of the washstand, love-"
Blinkus paused at the place des-
ignated, and broke soap-disb.
81 never saw such an awkward
man since / was born," quoth Mrs.
B. from the bed, just as he stun
bled back over spittoon and sat
down in it so forcibly that it was
smashed into forty pieces.
"Oh, my !" calculated Mrs. B.
Blinkus next struck his toe
against a towel-rack, and an ejacu-
lation dissolved itself in the dark.
ness. Then he stepped on the
baby's rattle, and ran one Of the
points into his foot half an inch
Jumping aside he upset the center
table, and began to founder on
toward the hall. His young hope
ful's carriage was there, and he fel
over it in six different ways befor,
he reached the door.
"Was it open 2" queried a voic'
from the bed.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-06-06
Making Allowances.

We were struck the other day by
the reply of a musician to friend
who asked him to play on a piano
which was out of tune. Some one
was present who had not before
heard the pianist. "Do play for u.s."
said the musicians friend, "Mr.
Blank will make allowances for the
condition of the piano." snake
allowances J" replied the pianist, 81
have heard that all my life, and it
never was and never will be true.
Nobody makes allowances II a
pianist plays on bad piano, or
tenor sings when he has a sore
throat, or an orator gets out Of his
death-bed to make a speech the au-
dience is disappointed because he
does not do his best work, and it
carries away an impression Of the
performance which is likely to last
for a lifetime. It's the same in
housekeeping, and dressing, and
business, and everything else.
People expect the best under all
circumstances. There is no such
thing as making allowances"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-06-06

A Syracuse IN. W undertaken
advances the singular theory that
the steady decrease in deaths which
has been for some time noticed
Throughout the country, is due to
the hard times. There is more
force in this, the Boston Journal
thinks, than at first appears, since
people are now compelled by force
Of circumstances, to indulge in
fewer luxuries and live upon ra-
tional diet.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-06-06
The Missing Finger Joint.

Tie Missing Finger Joint.
1t was my lirst visit to London
since ! had taken up my abode and
entered on the practice of my pro-
fession as solicitor in Southampton.
In London i had q very dear
friend, my old college chum, George
Dickson; as he was the only per-
son knew in the great metropolis,
Of course / lost no time in looking
for him.
Three years had passed since
our last meeting; but ten could
scarcely have produced a change
more marked than had taken place
in the appearance and manner of
of my old friend.
Our first greetings and friendly
inquiries over, longed, yet forbore,
to ask the cause of my friends
melancholy. / felt sure, in due
time, of being made the confidant
of the secret, provided no motive of
delicacy prompted its concealment.
That evening, in my room at the
hotel, George told me his story.
He had formed an attachment for
young lady, whose graces of mind
and person he portrayed with all the
fervor of a lovers eloquence. She
had returned his affection, but her
father had opposed the suit, having
set his heart OR the marriage of his
daughter to nephew of his. This
nephew was young surgeon, OF
profligate character, my friend as
sured me-but that may have been
prejudice-wbo had long but un-
successfully wooed his cousin. to
whom his offers we're as repugnant
as to her father they were aocepta-
BILE.
Some months since, Mr.. Parsons,
the young lady's father. had gone
into Hampshire on business, ac-
companied by his nephew. Al
Southampton he had been seized
by a sudden illness, which terminal
ed fatally in three days.
On the day preceding his death
he had executed will (which had
since been duly proved by the
depositions of the attesting wit
nesses), containing a solemn reques
that his daughter, to whom he lef
the whole of his estate, should &C
. cept the hand of his nephew il
marriage, coupled with the provis
ion that in case the latter offered
and she refused within specified
period, to enter into the proposed
union, the entire estate devised d
the daughter should be forfeited
to the nephew
To sacrifice her fortune to he
hearts choice would not have cos
Julia Parsons moments hesitation
and nothing could have more de
lighted George Dickson than so fai
an opportunity Of showing ho,
superior his devotion was to a
considerations Of personal ad
vantage. But her fathers dyin
request, in Julia's eyes, was sacred
1t had surprised and stunned her,
is true; for In their many confer
ences on this subject he had nevs
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-06-06
Water Vegetables.

A prominent pisciculturist lately
sent a valuable present of trout
spawn to San Francisco magnate
who is more remarkable for wealth
than refinement. The donors idea
was that the trout might be hatch
ed, and would thrive in a small ar
tificial lake which was a feature of
the millionaire's grounds. He was
much surprised at receiving the fol-
lowing note some days afterward /:
"My dear friend-Them water peas
as you sent was way up, and was
excellent fried. / had considerable
railway people and one or two
bankers to dinner the night as they
came. We never would have knew
what the concerns were only for
Maria, who had just graduated at
phemale school, and knows a
sight. She told us them peas were
quite common, and that they grew
under water same as you sent 'em
We all sends kind regards, and
would be pleased to have some
more water vegetables when you
are sending to the city"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-06-06

good thoughts but let your impure
and evil ones (if any such you have)
ever remain in solitary confinement
and silence, that they may be
smothered and become extinct.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-06-06

monstrance, and had never even
limited at anything like coercion.
Young Parsons, the nephew,
had not tie magnanimity to forego
his ungenerous advantage. He
might have been content with his
cousins fortune alone, but his right
to that depended on his offer and
her rejection of an alliance which
she felt in conscience bound to ac-
cept. The brief season of grace,
which she had been compelled to
beg even with tears, had already
almost passed, and few more days
would witness the condemnation of
two lives to hopeless misery:
At the conclusion of my friends
narrative, in which, for reasons that
may hereafter be developed, felt
peculiar interest, prevailed up
on him to accompany me to q place
of amusement, to which / had pre-
viously procured tickets.
When we reached the theatre
the performance had already be-
gun; but we succeeded in finding
seats which commanded fair view
both of the stage and the audience.
In a few moments George touch
ed my elbow.
"Observe the gentleman nearly
opposite in the front row, seated
next to the column, leaning his
arm on his cane," he whispered.
looked in the direction indica.
ted, and saw a face whose striking
resemblance to one / had seen be.
fore caused me to start with sur,
prise. "Who is it Z" | asked.
"Eldridge Parsons" was the re-
ply.
"The nephew of whom yor
speak kp
"The same," my friend answered
"Does he resemble his uncle 2"
was on the point of inquiring, bu
just then the stranger drew th'
glove from his right hand, and
saw that the first joint of the mid
die finger was wanting, a circum
stance which, for sufficient reason
absorbed my attention.
"Do you know the exact date o
Mr.. Parsons death 7" asked, whei
we had gained the street, at th'
close of the performance.
EYES," said George at was tn
23d of December. His daughte
received telegram from her cous
in announcing the fact the sam
day. But why do you ask !"
81 have a reason which may o
may not prove good one," / re
turned, and stating that / ha'
business engagements for the Who'll
of the next day, parted with m
friend, promising to meet him o
the following evening.
Next afternoon found me at tn
abode of Mr.. Parsons, the nephew
"Mr. Parsons, presume" wer
the words with which accoste
, the gentleman / had seen at tb
| theatre.
"Yes, sir"
= "You may not remember me, Nj
l. Parsons, but l believe we have m,
/; before.
81 beg your pardon, sir, for nc
r recollecting the occasion"
' "You were In Southampton, la
l winter, we're you not"
: 81 was" he answered, with SON
3 embarrassment.
!. 81 am the solicitor on whom yo
{ called TO make draft OF will"
: He turned pale, but made no r
n plv.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-06-06

u saw q record OF that Will at
Doctors Commons, this morning." /
sand"
"You speak of my uncle's WILL
he hastily interrupted.
"Aud yet" l continued, "you
said it was yours when you applied
to have it written. You represent
ed yourself desirous of executing
such a document preparatory TO
embarking on a perilous voyage.
The paper was drawn in accordance
with your instructions, leaving the
date to be filled in at the time of
signing. Your locks were gray
then, and you certainly looked old
enough to have a marriageable
daughter; but your disguise was
not perfect" And ] pointed to the
mutilated finger.
"What do you mean 7" he shout
ed in defiant tone.
"Simply that your uncle's sigma
ture to that will is forgery !" !
answered, rising and confronting
him. "He died on the 23d day Of
December. Your own telegram to
that effect is still in existence. 1t
was on the oath, the day before
Christmas, that you called on me to
prepare the document now on rec
ord as his will. The inference is
plain; you undertook to manu-
facture this spurious testament
after your uncle's death, and, wish
ing to clothe your villainy in legal
form, you procured from me the
required draft. You, or some one
at your instigation, simulated the
signature of the deceased. The
witnesses who have since prejured
themselves in their depositions,
were procured in some manner best
known to yourself"
Enough, sir, "he calculated, plac.
cling his back his back against the
I
door; lyon have shown yourself il
possession of secret the custody
of which proves dangerous !"
81 am not unprepared for your
threat" l replied. "In the frs
place, / did not come here unarm
ed in the next, | have prepared
full written statement of the fact
to which | have alluded, with in
formation, beside of my presen
visit to yourself. This paper viii
be delivered to the friend to whom
it is directed, unless within al
hour / reclaim it from the messen
ger, who has been instructed 70
that length of time to retain it,
His face grew livid. His fran
quivered with mingled fear an,
rage, and his eyes cleaned lik
that of wild beast at bay. "Wha
is your purpose 7" said he, in
voice hoarse with suppressed pas
sion.
"That you write instantly t
Julia Parsons, renouncing all pre-
tensions to her hand, and absolutel
withdrawing your proposals c
marriage"
After a moments pause, be has
tily penned brief note, which h
submitted to my inspection it wa
quite satisfactory.
"Be so good as to seal and ad
dress it," l said.
He did so.
IL will see that il is delivered"
remarked, taking it up, and bow
ing myself out of the room.
When l met George Dickson tina
: evening, his old college look ha
come back. He had great news I
tell me. The next thing was {
take me to see Julia, and it is need
less to tell what happy evenin
. we three spent together, and whs
a happy marriage followed not Ion
after.
Eldridge Parsons, / have jus
learned, emigrated for Australia
Z on board the London, and wer
down on that ill-fated ship.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-06-06
A Neglected Grave.

The long green grass is matted DER thy grave,
. And idle weeds above thy headstone grow;
Dark shadows fall from where the yow-trees
wave,
And summer flowers have scarcely room to
blow.
Ny path lies far from these sequestered ways,
And must blindly follow where ii leads;
Yet at thy grave turn aside to gaze,
And weep 10 see the tangled grass and weeds.
Not thus, dear friend, thy resting-place should
be
a loving hand would strew some blossoms here,
That stranger eyes might in their beauty see,
although lost to sight, to memory ever dear"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-06-06
Young Men.

p..,;.. cre.t Nferchsntile College, Keokuk,
ro~s on The Mississippi. Nineteenth year.
kbo'l, sixty dollars pay ~ oxrcns,es, ios Mem
hership, board and ssstiSnery. keepers,
ionneh, = ~ 4 sacters thoroughly fitted. Railroad
'y' 49, .ea,,,fd Good ntuatope. NO vacation.
noat fs,l 10 address Prof. Muller, keokus lows
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-06-06

Didn't want his heirs TO starve
to death-The man who left pro-
visions in his will.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-06-06
Cheap Guns for the People.

Double Shot Guns, from o. TO $50, prcech
Iosding shot Guns. nom t25 20 $3.50. sing e
Shot Guns, all kinds, s3 10 s25. Rifles, Mnzzle
and Breech loading, Single and Repcating, I, 10
and "a shooters. Revoivers, 90 ana shooters
Goods sent by Express c. o. D., with privilege
to examine. Price list tree Address, GREAT
WESTERN GUN WORKS, Pittsburgh, Pa
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-06-06
ADVERTISING RATES.

line.
Local Notices, ten cents per line each insertion,
and all notices continued for three months or
longer, discount of 25 per srBt
Advertisements unaecOmprnied by written or
verbal directions will he pubiished three mont =
Advertisements. under contract, ordered Out ho-
fore expiration Of time, will be charged full rates.
NOpaper discontinued until all arrenrnges are
paid, except at the option Of the publisher
Transient advertisements must b. paid in ad-
vance.
HS- Terms. CASH. payable quarterly.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-06-06

Why Is q beautiful woman like q
printing pressi Because she makes
. good impression. $50
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-06-06
CENTENNIAL REDUCTION
In Advertising.

rhree thousand, two hundred and fifty dollars
worth ~ newspaper advertising, at publishers
schedule rates, given for 800, and three months @
MOTT sccopted In payment from advertisers OF res
,hii;tv A printed list, giving name, charae.
ter actual Daily and Weekly circulation and
schedule Rates Of Advcrtising sent free to any
address. Apply 20 Geo. 7. hcwen 20; Ns"s-
paper Advertising Agents. u ~ sIs
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-06-06

gone beyond the most kindly re-
monstrance, and had never even
limited at anything like coercion.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1877-11-25

A RICH SUNDAY DINNER.-The attention
of those readers of the MORNING APPEAL who
like good cookery and an abundance of the
good things it produces are directed to the
advertisement of the bill of fare for to-day's
dinner at the old Frisbie Restaurant
ST. PETERS CHURCH EpiscopaD Services
at II o'clock in the morning and at 7:30 in
the evening. Sunday school Immediately after
morning service. Fl. L. FooTE, Rector.
BULL1oN-Wells, Fargo & Co. received per
southern stage two bars of bullion valued at
81, BOD At. Light load of passengers and
limited load of freight
Services in the Presbyterian Church to-day
at II A. M and P. NJ. Dr. Thompson will
preach in the evening. Sabbath school at
1916. All are invited.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1877-11-25
FISH.

Through the courtesy of handsome gen.
tleman over at the capitol we are enabled to
give our readers the full report of the Hon.
81. G. Parker, the indefatigable Fish Com
missioner People who are not Informed
about the lakes and streams of the State may
think this ishy for a dry community, but the
real fact of the matter is that Hub has done
very efficient service in this department, and
the importation Of fish and their propagation
in the few waters that we have is most i'm
portant industry and one by every means to
be encouraged. 1t is not a hobby it is a
very necessary business. The following is
the Report:
Carson City, Nevada, Nov Is, 1877.
To His Excellency, L. R. Bradley, Governor
of the State of Nevada:
Sir-ln accordance with the requirements
of Section Seven of an Act of the Legislature
of the State of Nevada entitled " An Act to
provide for the preservation of fish in the
waters of this State" approved March S,
1877, I have the honor to herewith present
my report.
In accepting the appointment of Fish Com
missioner I found myself wholly inexperi-
enC6u III CulS DuSluGSS anu u0uCS SLuOy dAu
correspondence with fish commissioners in
other states seemed requisite before an intel
ligent expenditure of money on my part
could be made:
After corresponding with Professor Spen-
Ger F. Baird, United States Fish Commits
sioner at Washington, D. c., and with Hon.
B. B. Redding of the California Fish Com
mission I examined the various lakes and
streams in the western part of this state and
found them adapted to the growth of good
fish,
When I received the Commission the sea-
son was too far advanced to commence ''fsh
breeding" but l have made arrangements to
stock small breeding place this winter have
also arranged for the procurement OF ova OF
the California salmon and Eastern brook
trout, as we'll as the spawn of other kinds,
and this I find can do at a very small out
lay
Upon the recommendation of the Califor-
MIA Fish Commission have stocked Washoe
AXE which was entirely destitute of food fish,
with the fish known in California as the
'' Schuylkill river cat fish, which procured
IN Sacramento at the following expense, to
wit
R. R. fare from Truckee to Sacramento,
$40 ; horse hire at Sacramento, So ; hand |
bellows, 81 So hose, 81; ice, ~ team
rom Franktown to Washoe Lake, 50 so; |
paid for catching fish at Sacramento, $40. |
Total, $62.
The above is the total amount expended |
,ut of the appropriation to carry out the
pirit of said Act.
have the honor to be, very respectfully,
vour obedient servant. FL. G. PARKER,
Fish Commissioner, State of Nevada.
Since the receipt of the above we learn
hat an invoice of perch has been received
nd placed in stream near the city and that
Parker has received letter
rom Hon. Spencer Baird, the U. S. Fish
informing him of the ship
nent of white fish from Lake Michigan. 1t
) intended to place them in Washoe Lake
)ur Fish interests are looking up.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1877-11-25

SHOWERS OF MEAT, SERPEN1s AND FISH
As proving the truth of the stories told in the
book of Exodus, we are reminded as follows:
Kentucky had shower of edible meat, or
minced frogs, not long ago; Tennessee pro-
duced fall of live six-inch serpents; and now
Canada has matched them both with a shower
of fish, cline, firm, and of the pickerel
Species" the shower extending about three
quarters of mile in Harwich township, and
the fish being gathered in pals by those who
cooked and ate them Were this the first
week in April, we should suspect that these
Canadian fish to be poissons d Avril; but the
story is told by several eve-witnesses who
ought to be credible, Altogether, ancient
history seems to be repeating itself-with
variations AS to the murrain of beasts and
the army of locusts, those Egyptian plaques
are only too we'll known to u.s.