The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1877-02-01
WHOLE NO. 1916.
Miscellaneous.


ode 10 my washsrwoman-s2s0
The milky vsy-the railroad 10 Orange
County.
Why is the snow whiie1 Because
white is no color.
An old bachelor hays that when no
wooed ahe wouldn't
A circuit eourt-lhe longest way home
from singingschool
Can animals suffer painl Stick a pin
In mules hind les and see.
A butchers sign out West reads a. FOL.
lows; John Jacobs kills pigs like his
father"
Punch gives this definition Of the word
''conscience:" MY rule for another
mans conduct"
Here is Newark sign. Washing.
ironing. aud going out BY days works
A wit said Of his debts that II was
neither his interest 10 pay the principal
nor his principle 10 pay the interest
Ma. go down on your hands and
knees a minute. please" What on
earth shall do that forY' Cause I
want 10 draw an elephant"
A boy. who heard that q despot was
person who ruled with q rod Of iron.
wanted 10 know II bis teacher was one,
because she used the poker 10 rule line
by.
That last meteor IL regarded By tho
Second Adventista AZ sure sign that tho
beginning Of the end has begun. But
they hold their oorner-lots At tho same
old prices.
A harassed husband thinks II The dress
maker would trim bic wife'a dresses less
and the butcher would trim his meat
more be could meet bis obligations bet
ter.
There are only two gallons OF whisky
per year manufactured for each inhabl.
tant Of the United States. and Il u
clear case that somebody's got % 20
Observation-Disclosures Times.
Does our constant chatter disturb
you asked one Of the three talkative
ladies Of sober looking fellow pasacn.
ser. NO. mA'am; I've been married
| -" - - '"'N 49, 49, -" A"fys
Woman" said the fat man on tho
cracker barrel rchectively. woman ls
like boil. When another man has her
We laugh at him; when We have her our.
self We cherish and protect her "-rNor.
wieh Bulletin.
The ST. Louis Republican announces
that Mr.. Kindling. Of Milwaukee. has
cut stick for another world" Ia i easy
20 say that kindling wood burn well. but
10 is 20 be hoped he viii mott Norris.
town Herald.
Provisions are reported scarce In tho
FIJI Islands. and there u much suffering
in consequences. We must send those
bcnighted people more bibles and
missionaries-especially missionaries--
fNorristown Herald
so" said q lady recently 20 a mer-
chant. your pretty daughter has mar.
ricd q rich huabandY' well" slowly
replied the father, Il believe aho has
married . rich man; but ! understand
he is q very poor husband"
Only one hundred aud seven new
newspapers were established in America
last month, and a. long as the number
doesn't go over 5000 per year each pa
per can be certain Of fifteen or twenty
subscribers-[ Detroit Free Press
A savant. who struck The back Of his
head against the sidewalk. the other
day. piteously exclaimed. oh my
poor meduila oBiorgafs" The crowd
thought he alluded 10 his wife and that
she must be some Italian lady Of rank.
A pair Of Quakers we're lately heard in
high controversy. the husband oxclaim.
ing; II am determined 10 have one
quiet week with thee" But how wilt
thou be able 10 get itf' said the taunt-
ing spouse. Il will keep thee a week
after thou art dead, was the rejoinder.
A street dealer In tooth powder yealcr.
day illustrated the use Of hia wares 20 an
admiring group In Chatham Street by
operating with marked effect on the In
cisors OF q volunteer ncwsboy. a. the
close Of the performance an interested
bootblack exclaimed. "Goily. what a
shinof"
Mrs. Spilkius had seventeen calls New
l Years Day. The milkman called hrtt.
at A. NJ; then came fourteen men. la
succession. with anow.shovcls. 10 ask II
I she uluu want inc AAAe Walk eleAFN0s
the butcher called with his bill about
three in the afternoon; and finally Spill
kins himself called, at ll.55 p. NJ.
what do you do for iivingT' asked
a farmer Of n burly beFEar, who applied
at his door for cold victuala and old
clothes. Il don't do nothing much. but
travel about" was the answer. Are you
good al travelingr asked the farmer.
"Yes," replied the bcggar. Then let's
see you travel said the farmer.
A college graduate was informed by
his wife. AZ the commencement Of the
honeymoon. that she made ID an invaria-
bic practice 10 read one chapter from tho
Greek Testament a day; u was. In fact.
the very Alpha and Omega of her daily
existence. lie replied be didn't care one
Iota II 10 was. aud. saying he'd Beta. ho
promptly LAMBDA on the spot
A lady sends 10 Chinese laundry q
washing list. among the items In which
II the following:
Frilled White Pctlieoat-
No Starch.
when the washing IL returned, the bill
contains the followinRitema
Friiled White Pctticoat.........20 cents
No Starch..................... cents
A west side man who saw a load Of
coal AZ a house and arranged 10 80 over
and borrow part Of it alter the other
man was In bed. got around that night
and found that IL had all been put Ia the
] a F..NH