The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-04-19
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

SENSE AND NONSENSE.
HALF the truth is oftentimes as bad .
lie a. NO truth.
CAN an honest meal be made o f .
''boned" turkey!
The new evening dresses are made in
the Princesse shape.
PRoF. TIcE predicts dry summer, and
advises farmers to pillow deep.
THE safest way is to eulogize person
you don't know.-Aark TtoGin.
ACouNTY JAIL out West has sign over
the gate, "God Bless Our Home"
WHEN is a candle like q tombstone!
When it is put up for late husband.
GRAssnoPPERs are numerous in Colo
RADIO, and threaten general destruction to
the crops.
A BABY, says q recent French writer,
is an angel whose wings decrease Is its
legs increase.
STATE of suffering WashinatoA
Herald. A fatherly State-Pa.-Norris.
t0Wn Herald.
THE New York Herald speaks of the
troublesome silver coins" Must be the
Eastern climate.
WILLIAMsBURaH, n. Y, . town with
1000 Spitz dogs, is conducting massacre
of those dangerous pets.
COMPLAINTS of Mormon propagandists
in Buncombe County, N. c., are made to
the Governor OF the State.
A LATE book is entitled "Half Hours
with Insects" What lively alf-hour
one can have with a beet
CAN the FLAP of May" and the clap of
spring." alluded to in articles of this sea-
son Of the year, he considered Is belong.
ing to the lapse of time?
ONE of the conductors on q Boston
street railway is q divinity student, who
took the position for a few months in or.
der to study human nature.
NINETY-NINE out of hundred people
make great mistake when they cut off a
dogs tail, in throwing away tie wrong
e"d.-Bluegrass (Ky.) Clipper.
A PHILADELPHIA paper expresses the
opinion that there ought to be standing
advertisement in all the city papers for q
new supply of live merchants.
IT takes large amount of affection to
make a good Mormon father. Not every
heart is large enough to hold the love of
sixteen wives and sixty -four children.
ONE-sIxru the population of Mercer
County, Pa, have signed the temperance
pledge. In the oil region of Mexican
County the same state of affairs exists.
AN advertisement in Boston newspa-
per is as follows: Wantcd-A young
man in the dry goods trade; to he partly
outdoors and partly behind the counter. !"
A HAPPY Chicago maiden affirms that by
placing a lover in the rays of blue glass
window he can bc made to propose at one
sitting. She has tried and proved it her.
self.
CALIFORNIA is shipping large quantities
of honey to Great Britain, and promises
that, if the demand increases, she can
supply any required amount Of the deli
cacy.
A PUNsTER was once thrust into closet
with the threat that he would not he re-
leased until he made pun. Almost in.
stancously he exclaimed, "O-pun the
dOOrp'
CAPT. BuRNABY was asked by his Turco-
man guide which an Englishman loves
best, his horse or his wife. But the author
answered automatically: THAT depends
THOSE were merry old days when it was
accounted the proper thing for a gentle
man who took snuff from young lady's
snuff-box Immediately to exclaim, with .
bow: "I-kis-s-you."
Cory of an advertisement hung up in o
Cheyenne hotel: "Wantid-Passcnger ON
the black hill Dead wod. fcare 16 dolers
each so lbs Bagge. start as soon as We
hav passengers anOfc."
1--WE made the fire all Of the week." shouted
"'ri. isi.e,'' cried his wife, in most positive
tones;
"And: unless you would witness me fighting q
liar,
You'd better get up and be lighting Arsr'
WHEN London medical journal wants
to describe healthy man, it simply
says: "Clcan tongue, good appetite, slow
pulse, cool skin, clear head, steady hand,
good walking power and light, refreshing
Sleep"
THE Boston papers tell of Dve-sick
girl who married against her fathers
wishes and went home after the first con.
jugal tiff. kill the prodigal," OK
claimed the old gent, the calf has re-
turned"
"OH! yes" said an old lady, 1.-THE
modern cOOk-stove is great invention,
and when my boy James gets through his
studies in practical engineering, so he can
come home and run it, I'll buy one of 'em
but not afOrc."
CALIFORNIA newspapers allege that,
from unexplained causes, that State, and
San Francisco in particular, furnishes a
greater number of cases of paralysis than
any other similar .cgion in the country, if
not in the world.
TINS was Robert Stephenson's remark
to the man who used to bother him about
self up by the waistband of your brooches
and carry yourself round the room, l will
consider the matter"
MIR. CARLYLE says that young men
should bc shut up in barrels and kept
somewhere out Of sight until they have
passed their twenty fifth year, because It'll
about this time that they I" attain to their
maximum of detestability."
A NOVELTY from Paris is crepe lisse
tic, embroidered and having scollops at
the edge, bortercd most effectively with
very small pcacock's feathers, which
form pleasing contrast with the dead
white of the rest Of the scarf.
CONE to Detroit if you would be happy.
A man earning salary of sixty dollars
per month pays scvcnty-two dollars pei
month for board for himself and wife, and
she is allowed ninety dollars to get new
clothes for Easter.-Detr0t Free Press.
A MAN swearing the peace against
three of his sons, thus concludes his aft.
davit: "And the dcponent further saith
Al, .~f IL ,1,sv<
showed him any real filial affection was
his youngest son, Larry, for he ncvcl
struck him when he was down."
Transporting Fresh Beef
SOME four or five years ago, Col. E. c.
Townsend settled the point, once for all,
in regard to the temperature at which
fresh beef could be TRANSPORTED. having