davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
w hole Number 1437
cOnundrums, New and Old.

L am a word of three svIIobIos
My first expresses a company. nv,
second renounces company; nv third
calls company together; my whole
entertains a company. What is it?
-CO-nun-drum.
What is the difference between a
student of history seeking the prize
and an Arab?-One gets up the
dates to carry off the palm; the 9TH
er gets up the palm to carry of the
dates.
What is the difference between an
IDEA and a nOtion?-One is a coneep-
Iloh OF the mind; the other is a vast
expanse of water (an ocean,.
What is the difference between
the Prince of Wales and Jet of wa
ter?-One is heir to the throne; the
other is thrown to the air.
What is the difference between
New Port and Saratoga?-In the
one place you go into the water; in
the other the water goes into you.
When does love become a pitched
battle?-When it comes to an en-
gagement.
Why is beefsteak like locomo-
tive on long jOurney?-It is not of
much account without it's tender.
What does a captain do at sea
when he gets out of fresh eggs?-He
lays to.
What is it that by losing an eve
has nothing but a nose left?-A
noise.
What is it which, if you take
away allits letters, remains the same?
"A post-man.
What is it which, the more it is
cut, the longer it grows? "A ditch.
What is that which, though al
ways invisible is never out of SIGHT?
The letter l.
What is the only pain of which
everyone makes light?-A window
pane.
"hy Is chess a more moral game
than cards?-In chess you have two
bishops; in cards four knaves.
When Apollo dipped the god Pan
into the sea, what did he come out?
"A dripping-pan.
Why is man looking for the phi
lOsopher's stone like Neptune?-Be-
cause he is seeking (sea-king) what
never was.
What is the difference between
Noah's ark and an archbishop
One was high ark and the other is
a hierarch (higher ark.
Why is a novel writer the most
peculiar of animals?-Because his
tail comes out of his head.
Why is four quart measure like
a lady's side-saddle?-Because it Just
holds a gallon.
Why is the first chicken of the
brood like the foremast of a ship?-
Because it comes Just before the
main hatch.
Why is paper money more valua-
bic than gold?-When you put it in
your pocket you double it, and when
you take it out you find it still in
creases.
When does a fve-franc piece lose
Ill its value?-When compared with
/ dollar it is worthless.
What metamorphosis does a laun-
lress undergo during the night
She goes to bed washerwoman and
IN the morning gets up fine linen.
Why are washerwomen unreason-
lble?-They expect to have soft wa
.er when it rains hard.
Which is the oldest fellow, the
one who asks a question or the one
who answers?-The one who asks,
because he is the querist.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
From the n. Y. Sun
CONSUMPTIVES CURED.
The TIE ztImOny of the Butch eFs of the
ThIrIY-fOurIh street Marker.

A little million of sparrows chirp-
ed and fitted to and fro among the
iron girders of the roof of the Thir-
ty-fourth street market, yesterday,
as the reporter walked through it
searching for the abbattoir and the
blood-drinkers that are said to fre-
guent it. Frank Houston, a butcher
employed by Phil. Dolan, rested
from slaughtering, and the reporter
asked him whether people ever came
to the market to drink blood. "To
be sure they do" the butcher re-
piled. every many men and women
drink blood for their health.
l haven't seen any here for three or
four weeks, but last fall and last
winter we had many, and they came
regularly every morning. They
were mainly consumptives. l saw
more in the slaughteT-house in For
ty-sixth street, where l worked last,
than l have seen here. They were
all consumptivRs. l don't know
whether it's the blood of their imag-
ination that does them good, but
whichever it is they certainly get
better. don't know any of those
who came here, but many of them
are wealthy people who come in
their carriages. | knew one fellow
who got cured. He had not been
doing anything for two years-he
was so bad with consumption; but
he got better and better drinking
blood, and finally he was able to go
to work again"
'Was it hard work that he went
at?" the reporter asked.
'N-n-no," the butcher replied, in
nocently; che went to tending bar"
"These drinkers always come in
the morning." the butcher continued,
"and they always bring their own
tumblers. Does blood taste bad?
Well. l guess not; it's like fresh,
warm milk, only sweeter and warm
er; we butchers often drink it; L
drink it myself, and imagine it does
me good"
A butcher employed by William
Fitch told the reporter of a young |
man named Garvey who had con-
and drank blood for it un-
til he was cured. The butcher knew
only one other blood drinker by |
Courtland Palmer, wild
Ow of the late owner of the great |
market. She was benefited by it.
The reporter was shown a little
girl who had been stripped of her
clothing and was standing in a bar
rel filed to her chin with the parti-
ally digested contents of the stOm
achs of newly-killed cattle. The
butcher said she was suffering from
a scrofulous sore on her back, and
the cure lay in the medical proper
ties of the gastric juice in the fodder.
"Men, women and children often
come here" butcher said, "to cure
sores, and even palsy,
by putting their hands and arms or
feet or legs into the stomachs of
fresh-killed cows"
One butcher told of the custom
that Italians have of wrapping the
melt of the cows stomach next to
their skin for the cure of internal in
juries, rheumatism or consumption.
owe don't take any money from
any one," saId one of the butchers,
''for fear it will spoil the cure"
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20

The following Poem was written by the
gifted young writer, Miss Agnes X MeGlnert,
and recited at the pubic celebration Of the
4Oth anniversary of Ingham University, Le-
Roy. n. y. on the occasion other graduation.
Atour request, she has furnished it for pub
Iication in the TELEGRAPH.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
VEGETINE.

The range of disorders which yield to the infiu-
ence of this medicine and the number of defined
diseases which it never fails to cure, greater
than any other single medicine has hitherto been
even recommended for by any other than the pro-
prietors of some quack nostrum. ,These diseases
are Scrofuia and all eruptive diseases and tumors
rheumatism, Gout, Neuralgia and Spinal Com
plants and all 1nfammatOry symptoms. Ulcers,
all Syphilitic diseases, Kidney and Bladder dis
eases, propsy, the whole train of painful disor-
ders which so generally aflct American women
and which carry annually thousands of them to
premature graves; Dyspepsia, that universal
curse of American manhood; Heartburn Piles
Constipation, Nervousness, inability to Sleep and
impure blood.
This Is a formidable list of human ailments for
any single medicine to successfully attack, and
ii is not probable that any article before the
public has the power to cure the quarter of them,
except Vegetine. 1t lays the axe at the root of
The tree of disease by first eliminating every i'm
purity from the blood, promoting the secretons,
opening the pores the great escape valves Of the
stem-invigorating the liver to its full and
natural action, cleansing the stomach and
Strengthening digestion. This much accomplished,
the speedy and permanent cure of not only the
diseases we have enumerated, but likewise the
whole train of chronic and constitutional disor-
drrs, is certain to follow. This is precisely what
Negetine does, and it does it so quickly and so
easily that II is an accomplished fact almost be-
fore the patient is aware of it himself
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20

The large Rodman gun which was
cast in Boston recently is with two
exceptions the largest piece of ord
nance ever made in the U. S. Nine
ty tons of metal were melted in three
furnaces i'll which the monster was
cast. The tube which is to be placed
within the bore is about 232 inches
long and IL inches in diameter. 1t
will be received from England at an
early day. The diameter at the
widest part will be So inches, and
the casting will be 20 inches for
depth of 232 inches; at the muzzle
the external diameter will be 20 in.
the length of the gun will be 263 in
ches or about 25 feet; it will carry a
700 pound conical ball; the ordinary
charge of powder will be 100 pounds
and the weight of the ordnance will
be about 45 tons. The special fea-
ture of this gun is a brass ring which,
when the piece is discharged, ex
pands against the bore of the gun
and prevents any injury from the
passage of gas. This gun, big as it
is, is a toy in comparison with the
wrought iron and cast steel ord
nance which has recently been man
ufactured abroad. The Sl-ton Fra
ser gun, with which the British en-
gineers have been experimenting at
Shoeburyness, takes a charge of $40
pounds of powder and a projectile
of 1,7OO pounds. The cast-steel
breech-loader which Herr Krupp is
now making will weigh so tons; the
projectile will weigh 1850 lbs, and
the powder charge 996 pounds. The
Armstrong gun manufactured for
the Italian navy weighs 100 tons.
The big Krupp gun which was
shown at Philadelphia a year ago,
and which has recently been purchas-
ed by the Russian government
weighs So tons.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
PAINTERS.

A. d w. KYLE, House and Sign Painters
Graining, Paper Hanging and Glazing; Kali
sOmining and Wall Painting a speciality:
299 Woodland Avenue, Cleveland Ohio All
orders promptly attended to, and work exc
cuted in the neatest manner. l307
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
CABINET WARE.

JOHN DUCRO. Manufacturer of and Deal
er in Furniture Of the best descriptions, al
every variety; also, General UnderJakrr
and Manufacturer of Collins to order: ain
street, north of South Public Square. Ash
tabula, Ohio. 49l
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
What II 'he Use?

What is the use of worrying :?
You may fret and fume, and sigh
and whine; You may make your
self and all around you nervous and
uncomfortable, and may continually
exclaim that men and times are de
generating, and not half so good as
they used to be; you may do all
these foolish things, and score be-
sides, and what the better off will
you be? Things will 60 along just
the same, and you will 90 along
with them, whether you grumble or
not, Just as the world turns and
takes you along with it. You can
not jump off from the globe; but
dead or alive, round and round you
must 90 with it. and share its fate.
Here YOU are, and you cannot get
awav So what is best for you to
do about it? Keep on worrying and
orumbIing? or, looking everything
souarely in the face, trust in Provi-
dence and do your supIemest and
bravest in meeting the days demand
upon you? If you cannot get what
YOU desire, take what you can get
honestly, and be thankful if you
find enough bread to eat and clothes
to wear, and a roof to shelter you
and yours. Worthier fellows than
Won have lacked some OF all of these
essentials. EG.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
HARNESS MAKER.

p. c. FORD, Manufacturer and Dealer in
Saddles, Harness. Brides. Collars. Trunks,
WHIPS, &c, opposite Fisk House, Ashta-
bula, Ohio. IOl5
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
PUBLIC HALLS.

STONES OPERA HAIL. Orwell, Ashta-
tabula Co., Ohio, on the line of A. Y. & p.
will seaf 5d6 J Z; III 10 4 ~ ~
troupes. RE. STONE, Proprietor. 1909
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
PHOTOGRAPHERS.
81 AK ISLE a "a

81 * ESLE Il MOORE, Photograph-
ers and Dealers in Pictures Fngrayinps
Chromos, &c; having a large supply OF
Mouldlngs OF various descriptions, are pre-
pared 70 frame anything in the Picture line
at short notice and in the best sfvIe
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
ARCHITECTS.

DAVID SLOAN, Civil Engineer and Sur
veyor, Architectural and Mechanical
Draughtsman- Office in Pierce and Red
heads Block, Ashtabula. Ohio. 1920
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
ERIERAILWAY.

Telegraph Stations.
Passenger fare at the rate OF 8 cents per
mile to way stations counted in even half
dimes.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
25 cordsWood Wanted .

I WANT about 25 cords of sea-
Il soned stove wood, not over IS inches long.
Parties indebted TO the TELEGRAPH, or those
desirous Of subscribing for this paper may
take this mode ofpaying for the same.
JAMES REED JR
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20

No. 70 runs daily and No. daily fium Sal
amanca and Buffalo. Meal Stations.
Ask for tickets by way of Erie Railway
For Sale at all the principal Offices.
JNo. N. ABBOTT Gen. Pas. Agt., n. Y.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
JOB PRINTERS

JAMES REED d SON, Plain and Orna-
mental Printers and General Stationers
Specimens OF Printing and prices for the
Main and Spring streets, Ashtabula o. 1920
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20

L.s.&m. s.-FHANKLIN DIVISION
From and after May 18th, 1877, Passenger
Trains will run as follows:
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
FOUNDRIES.

TINKER e. GREGORY, Manufacturers
of Stoves, Plows and Columns, Window
Caps and Sills, Mill Castings, Kettles, Sinks
Sleigh Shoes, &c, Phoenix Foundry, Ashta-
bula. Ohio. lOqI
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
DENTISTS.
REPAIRING.

O. l.. HALL, Morgan, O., will repair
Clothes WringeTs and all kinds OF Sewing
Machines, in the best manner and at rea-
sOnable rates Address by Postal. 1873
E1-Repairing done at your own residences.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
JEWELLERS

G EO. w. DICK NSONs JeweleT; Repair
ing of all kinds Of Watches, Clocks and
JeWelry; Store in Ashtabula House Block.
Ashtabula. Ohio.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
SanfOrd's
Jamaica
Ginger

Sold nv all Wholesale and Retail Druggists
Crocers and Dealers in Medicine. Price 50 cents
samples free. Dealers should purchase original
Dsckages o. one dozen TO obtain the trial bottles
ior free distribution. WEEKS & POTTER, Gen
eral Agents and Wholesale Druggists. Bottom.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20

All trains daily except Sundays.
+. r. MYERS.
Gen. Pass. and Ticket Agent.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
MISCELLANEOUS

l97 BUILDING LOTS FOR SALRiI
Dealer in Water-Lime, Stucco, Land PIas-
ter, Real Estate and Loan Agent Ashtabula
Depot ll2O9l VIM. HUMPHREY.
]. SUM. BL KTH, Agent for the Liverpool
IondO d Globe Insurance Co. Cash Assets
over 100000 Gold. In the u. S. 81, 600. 900
Stoc holders also personally liable rl2l3
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
FecundIty of QuaiIs.

The Indiana Legislature has a bill
pending to prohibit the shooting of
quails for FIVE years. We hope it
will be amended, for, though the
quail is a friend to the farmer, there
may be too much of good thing.
Each pair of quails produces an av-
erage of ten chicks per year-many,
in favorable seasons, hatch sixteen
to a brood. If we estimate only the
small number of 100000 quails in
Indiana to start with, though there
are probably ten times that number,
and take ten per year as the produce
of each pair, the figures will SIMPLY
be stupendous, and we present them
to the Indiana Legislature for con-
sideratiOn:
First year, total. ..... 100000
Second year, total. ... 1S,OOOOOO
Third year, total. . los, 100000
Fourth year, total. ...... 648, 000,OO
Fifth year, total. .....? 8, SSS, 800, 600
We would have to station an ar
my along the Ohio River to prevent
an invasion of Kentucky after these
birds had eaten everything visible in
Indiana. There wouldn't be a bug
left in that State, and the birds
would require grain to live upon.
Estimating gill of grain per day
for each bird, it would require about
100000 bushels per day to feed
them. We enter our protest in ad-
vance, and shall demand, if Indiana
does pass that law, that the State
shall raise the grain to feed the
birds, and shall put up a bird net
three hundred feet high along the
Ohio, to keep their inhabitants from
invading Kentucky. We can stand
a law protecting them for two years,
but beyond that we must demand a
Com.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
The Best Remedy in the Land

LITTLE FALLS, N. Y. Sept. 23d, 1876.
Mr. H. R. STEVENS:
Dear Sir-I desire to state to you that was af-
hicted with breaking out of blotehes and pim-
Piles on my face and neck for several years
have tried many remedies but none cured the hu-
NOR on my face and neck. After using two or
three bottles of your Vegetine the hnmOr was en-
tirely cured / do certainly believe il is the best
medicine for all impurities of the blood that there
is in the land, and should highly recommend 1t to
the afflicted public. Truly yours.
p. PERRINE, Architect
Mr.. Perrine is a well known architect and
builder at Little Falls, N Y, having lived there
and in the vicinity for the last thirtyhree years.
Ve&etine.
Prepared by H. r. STEVENS, Boston,
Mass.
Vegetine is Sold by all Druggists.
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
HOTELS.

FISK HOUSE-Ashtabula, Ohio-A. Field,
Proprietor. An Omnibus running to and
from every train of cars; also, a good Livery
Stable kept in connection with this House
to convey passengers to every point ll22l
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
DRUGGISTS.

ID. d. UATTESON. Druggist and station
er Main St. Ashtabula, o., dealer in DRUG,
Medicines and Chemicals, and Wines and
Liquors for medicinal purposes. Physl-
clans prescriptions a specially. I3u3
MARTIN mEWBERRY, Druggist and
ApothecaTy, and General Dealer IN D5uSsi
Medicines Wines and Liquors for medical
purposes Fancy and Toilet Goods Nam
Street, corner OF Centre, Ashtabula, ONO.
CHARLES z. SWIFT, Ashtabula, Ohio,
Dealer in Drugs and Medicines, Groceries,
Perfumery and Fancy Articles, superior
Teas. Coffee, Spices, Flavoring Extracts, Pa
tent Medicines of ev ry description, Paints,
DYES Varnishes, BIT shes, Fancy Soaps, Hair
Oils &C. all of which will be sold at the low
est prices Prescriptions prepared with suit
able care. lu50-
GEORGE WILLARD, Dealer in Hard
ware, Saddlery, Nails, Iron, steel, Drugs,
Medicines, Paints, Oils DyestufiS &c, Main
street. Ashtabuia. Ohio. lp53-
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
MANUFACTURERS.

q. G. CULLEK, Manufacturer of Lath, Sid
ing Mouldings, Cheese Boxes, &c, Planning,
Matching and ScrowI Saving done on the
shortest notice. shop on Main street, oppo-
site the Upper Park, Ashtabula, Ohio. 40
HART UDY, Dealer in Granite and Mar
BILE Monuments, Grave Stones, Tablets, Man
tels, Crates, &c. Building Stone Flagging
j iCurbing cut TO order. Yard on Centre
street. l235
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
Collins VOItaic Plaster
Sehenck's Sea-weed Tonic.

Sold by all druggists. and sent on receipt of %
for one. 81 Is for six, or 50 25 for twelve,
carefully wrapped and warranted, by WEEKS &
POTTER PrOprietOrs Boston Macs
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20

HOWARD & GEER, Rock Creek, O.
Office at the residence OfDr. Howard. 4t26
Or Y. L. KING, Physician and Surgeon;
office over Wilcox Store. have COM
plete set of DIR. Hadfield's Equaizers, with
the exclusive right of Ashtabula county.
Physicians are respectfully invited to call
and examine the instruments. Office hours
rom 10 a. m tol p. m. Residence south of
st. Peters church. 1870
H. H. BARTLETT, NJ. D., HomBpathist.
Special attention given to diseases of women
and children. Office hours from II A. NJ to
3P. NJ, and from TO P. NJ Old Office, Main
street, Ashtabula, Ohio. 1867
r. ID. CASE, Physician and Surgeon; office
east side of Park street, second door north oil
Centre street. Residence on Centre street,
third door west of Engine House. Office
hours, II to L A. NJ, and7 toSP.M. [tf-l2S9
DIR. p. DEICHMAN, Physician and Sur
geOn, having located himself in Ashtabula,
respectfully tenders his services to the citi-
zens of Ashtabula and vicinity. DR.. 2.
Deichman speaks the German and English
languages huently. His Office and residence
is in Smiths new block, Centre street. 1855
Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-20
1 lSHTABUEA. IOUNGSTOWH
PITTSBUR RAILROAD.

CONDENSED TINE TABLE-Nov. 26. 1876.
Going South. Going North.
FIX fAc'm Stations. EX. IAc'm
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q, FeDi,s, sbs pOoid e2ekle, run a.
hen, AID iry ~ bite h-if ksels.
She fO,OTs1 the coy s.0g, tie
yarA. and II Be wen: ito ne VI
age, rzn ~ b. -ids. a, a.: tie
dDy feii III, sDd then rho ever made
. more fai,ifsl nurse than tie
gD1,se' Ste never Quilted hin
fsy Or niya;, sDi would have been
s:srTe1 ~ 1es'h Il thg tsrnsr had
10; rad pan II corn paced every
DAY ~ the kennel
What = happy goose that r1st
haze TEEN when t.e dog ~. vel.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-01-24

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