Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1877-02-24
SECOND MARRIAGES.
Are they GENERALLY More Fciiciious thnn the
First

Are they GENERALLY More Fciici,ou- than the
First
Nothing 10 more characteristic than
the very general sentiment of disappro-
baton with which women regard n sccond
marriage. Their first impulse is to con-
denim it, and to speak, il not with CEN
sure, at least in terms OF gentle dcpreea-
ton, of the people who have entered
upon it, Talk to the loveliest Of her sex
of the sorrows of widower, and she will
probably reply: "That is grief for
which he will soon find consolation. :"
Announce the engagement Of such one
in any circle of friends, and the feminine
portion will Immediately begin to count
the months and years since the death of
his former wife. There will be observa-
tionsupon the transitory nature of human
affections, and the quality of forgetful-
ness which inheres in men. Yet the se-
verify of womanly comment on II mans
second marriage is tempered with mild
ness, most women being conscious of n
tolerable pity for the helplessness and
loneliness of a male creature left to take
care of himself, or to battle through the
world with children. 1t is to women that
they look for fidelity beyond the reach
of another love. The widow who lays
aside her weeds, and gives herself once
more to welded joys, is felt by many of
her married sisters to have lost caste,
and is imagined by some of the unmnr-
ried to have done them personal wrong.
She has stepped from the niche, sanity
and revercd, where her dark dnys placed
her, and descended to the ordinary COM
.monplace level of life. 1t is not in India
only that the wife is thought 'most of
who is willing to immediate herself ON
her husbands funeral pile. Equally are
there communities in the United States
where she who is ga widow indeed oc-
cupies n station quite unapproached i'll
its exceptional reverence, and where she
who seems to listen again to matrimonial
overtures is thought to have forfeited a
little of the traditional esteem with
which sympathy had invested her.
The foundation of this unformulated
creed of society is built broadly on the
resAGgt We all'feel for true love. Love
is str yhg as death, we say, with sup
plem4 mt in our hearts, to the effect that
it on 1t to be stronger. Its silver cord
shos d not be loosened, though the angels
stretch it over into the shadowy land
whittier our beloved have been taken.
We miscalculate the lengtk of labori-
ous days, lighted by happy memories,
but dimmed by present tears. We for
get how hard it is to keep fresh and vivid
the impressions of kisses -unrenewed, of
touches no longer tangible, of voices
hushed. We do not estimate the force
of the rebound by which the soul, desc
late, weary, unstrung, lacerated in its
finest sensibilities, turns to receive the
sweetness of some gentle compassion, or
some tender comprehension. Often it is
those whose welded lives have been
most united, flowing on like poem set
to fitting music, who seem soonest to be
ready to rear new temple on the ruins
of the old. Perhaps in their case the
heart-hunger is the deepest, and the
vacanc needs most to be filled. What
ever may be the reason, it is fact be-
yond denial that many second marriages,
so far as the world can see, are more
satisfying and felicitous than the first
were. The choice of the man in the
maturity of the powers is often quite
other from the selection of his youth.
No doubt in n second marriage there is
less of the element of falling i'll love, AMI
more of sober judgment. The youth
was won by the pretty face, with it's soft
curves, it's sea-shell tinting, its swift
bushes and dewy freshness. Propin-
guilty had much to do with his decision.
He lived near her fathers house. They
sang in the same choir. They went to
the same church. Neither had emerged
from the crudities of adolescence, OF
knew to what manner of man or woman
the soul within them would grow, when
they plighted their troth and took on
them solemn VOWS. Whether in the
closeness of daily companionship they
would become knit and blended into
completeness which is possible only to
duality when love unifes it, or whether
they would find life hopelessly halved,
was problem they could not resolve.
No second marriage ought to be the re-
suit of a passing fancy Or the product of
a caprice. Love should be real and pure,
but it should be deeper than sentiment.
1t should dare to look open-eyed at the
chances it has for development into that |
perfect affection which is based upon
tastes, aims and education in common.
Milking BufIaIOcs.