The Morning herald., 1877-11-09
'IsUNBEAMS.

771Aa ,sUU1NBEAMS.
po.r,e that beggars can't put mp With With ;
aOteLksepers. .p.1,~s,b. al o. As o.. s..'
,.uor IN have loved short girl than
,rsr u to have loved tall r.0.c '' '"'
r,,s Il is eleven o'clock. Tpll that
,nna nm man to shut the front door from the
utside.' .y "...1'. '',n. va In ...,
III. cheating butcher viii have bis pun.
.hmsnt r meted out to him IN another
Iorld. .,.p '.' -. 'a. -. '' =
.Mr Smith. d your customer Brown b
,,n n he trusted2"-'I know of no one
nnre ao 60 He is to be trusted forever; he
hover pays" ' '' .,T ,',,, p. D., 81,
1t Is q sin to steal pfn," and o. man in
philadelphia has been arrested for that very
psense. The pin had = diamond attached
oik r.rliW 49, g ,,.o.g li 5pn. q
ss;d bachelor philosopher; my
rond conducted his future wife to the altar
and here his leadership came to an
nd"
Two things in nature are detestable
A pih who is trying to be q woman,
md q woman who Is trying TO be .
ih api r.. ..a,14a Z lq RI
An Iowa editor recently announced that
certain patron of his was "thieving as
usual" He declared he wrote it tthriv-
ng" stq n ,ni 40 .,.. ~. l,r
One bad result of female suffrage in Wy
oming is said to be that the young men
vickedly keep record of the ages of un-
married spinsters who vote. "
A Young Connecticut lady was lately
taken sbsck when her swain got upon his
knees before her and read a declaration Of
love which he had nicely written of. '',
A Yankee editor wishes to know whether
the law recently enacted against the carry
inQ of deadly weapons applies to doctors
who carry pillsin their pockets. ~, ~
A little boy in school gave one Of the best
definitions ever given Of economy --"Paring
potatoes thin. This economy means right
management, not meanness. ~
Wells sunk in the chalk outside the Lon
don clay are very bountifully supplied.
How pleasant to pump ones milk from
ones own well and be sure it's all right
An Iowa boy wanted to hear how bird
shot sounded az It flew out Of the muzzle Of
gpn. The gun swerved, planted the shot
in his ear-about two hundred to the hill.
We overheard gentleman say this
morning that he hoped that ''model hus-
band" about whom his wife talks so much
had been burned up with the other models
in the patent Office. ....,.
poor young man remarks that the only
advice he gets from capitalists is to Give
within his income," whereas the difficulty
he experiences is to live without an in
come. '.
A Yankee Western paper speaks Of
fine gardens surrounding the mountains
all grown without irrigation. It would
have been pleasure to see these mountains
growing.
man who has been an inveterate smoker
for twenty years has suddenly and perma-
nenty given up the practice. He knocked
the ashes off his pipe into keg of blasting
powder. ) 7
A woman quarreling with her husband,
told him she believed If she was to die he
would marry the devils eldest daughter.
1.-THE law does not allow 1 man to
marry two sisters" replied the husband.
Mark Twain says that nothing seems to
please fly so much as to be mistaken for
ahucklebeuy, and If it can be baked in q
cake and palmed of on the unwary as a
currant, it dies happy. 7RTt '
A Milwaukee paper has this delicate per-
sonal item:-"Those who know nice old
Mr.. Wilson. of this place, personally, will
regret to hear that he was assaulted in a
brutal manner last week, but was not
killed"
-
burning Lather. there's another
rupture at Mount vociferous,Y said Mrs.
darlington as she put down the paper and
put up her specs; ''the paper tells us about
the burning lather running down the noun
tain, but it don't tell how it got fire."
An "artist in marble elaborated what he
considered a triumphant statue Of that king
OF beasts, the lion, and sent it 10 compete
Tor prize at an exhibition of ststuary. He
received the first premium for q beautiful
sleeping bull pup in MARBLE"
."ftE@"F. .D.lt"L|
Professor describing ancient Greek thea.
trey "An. it had no roof" Junior (sure
ne has caught professor In p mistake):
What did they do, sir, when IL rained p