The Cecil Whig., 1877-03-17
THE IMPROVED ARTIFICIAL MOTHER.

There is no doubt that mothers have
their uses. They are familiar with all the
details of infants, and know the symptoms
of concealed pins aud remedies for real and
simulated collie. They can deliver familiar
scientific lectures upon the habits of the
"mooley cow" and the manners and Gus
toms of the 'bow-wows " which possess
an irresistible fascination for the infant
mind; and can meet the views of a hungry
baby to whom a distracted father has
vainly offered bread and lndia-rubber rings
and watches and ink bottles. To the
proper rearing of the maturer infant the
mother is nearly Indispensable. 1t is she
who washes the small boy, and never loses
hope and courage, no matter how often he
returnes to his wallowing in the nearest
practicable mire. Now that very little
girls are usually rugged with patent stock
ing halyards and other complicated gear
no one but an experienced mother can
dress or undress them without producing a
tangled snarl, from which the child must
is generally felt to be impossible to rear a
family successfully without the help of a
mother, and the unanimity with which
men profess their Inability to answer the
| familiar riddle, g What is home without Il
| mother - indicates their view of the mat
ter. Of course, the true answer to this
riddle is that "home without mother is a
| place where fathers clothes and papers
| are never concealed under the pretext of
! putting things in order;' but so lively is
| the appreciation of maternal usefulness
| that few men dream of searching for this
| answer.
! Useful as the mother undoubtedly is, she
| also has her disadvantages. 1t need hard
! ly be maintained that for ages the duties
| of motherhood have been monopolized by
one sex, and that one confessedly the fee
blest. Every man who retains vivid re-
membrance of the happy hours of child
| hood knows that not one mother in hun
| dred possesses sufficient muscular strength
| to WELD the penitental slipper with any
lasting effect, In this matter the sex has
unwisely attempted more than its physical
strength justifies, and it cannot be denied
that to scores of small boys spanking is a
hollow mockery, and rulering on both
hands is little more than harmless pretense
of punishment. Moreover, the mother is
ordinarily a very expensive luxury. She
must be fed, clothed, and provided with
pins, and many a man who could easily af-
ford the cost of two or the children shrinks
from incurring the expense of an accom-
panying mother. What we need is a
cheap and servceable kind of mother, the
! first cost of which shall be comparatively
small and which shall be kept at all times
| in
large outlay for food and pins. This want
has long been vaguely felt, although it has
not often been clearey demonstrated. 1t
is obviously to supply this want that the
"Improved Artificial Mother" has recently
been invented and patented.
There are several periodical publications
in this country which are devoted to the
| interest of chickens, and it is in one of the
most prominent chicken organs that the
advertisement of the Improved Artificial
Mother" may be found. While the in
ventor speaks in the most confident terms
of the ability of his invention to accom-
plish all that can be reasonably demanded,
he does not give portrait of the artificial
mother, or a description of her mechanism.
Nevertheless, he may assume that an i'm
proved artificial mother must be able to do
in an improved way the whole duty of a
mother of the old-fashioned pattern. That
she is operated by steam is implied in the
advertisement, and hence she undoubtedly
serves up infante food at proper tempera-
ture. AS the artificial mother is especial
ly recommended for the use of large whole
sale deaers-which is doubtless, tigurative
way of describing fathers of large families
she is probably designed for the simul-
famous washing of an entire batch of chill
dren. \ series of clasps, levers, and
brushes could be readily contrived which
should hold and wash from four to