The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1877-03-30
APRIL AND DECEMBER.
A Youth OfTwenty-TwO Married to
aLady Of sixty.

VI. Louis Globe Democrat, March %.
Justice Young was startled yesterday
morning by the abrupt entrance into his
office of fdge,y old lady, about sixty
one years of age. who led by the hand 6
timid, bucolic youth of twenty-five.
"Whar's the squirrel" inquired the fus-
trated female
"Here, madam, ut your service" an
swered the polite dispenser of justice
tempered with costs. ~ am not in the
assault and battery business, however;
you must 60 to the Criminal Correction y
"Salt and butteryw l don't want
none O that, myself. l want you to fix
up small chunk ola weddin."
"Oh, l see; you desire me to perform
the pleasing and remunerative cere-
mony that binds the two willing hearts
according to the form of the statute in
such case made and provided"
mo, want to git married"
"What, you? Great Methuselah!'
"Yes, me; why not?" And the basi.
llsk glance. cast al the Justice caused the
cold cblls to run over him.
"Oh, certainly, madam, If you desire it.
No difference to me. Only l thought
you might be joking. Where is the
groom"
This is the feller,' replied the dame,
dragging the bsshful youth forward
and putting him under the chin.
"Reuliy," my good lady, this must be a
Jest. Why, this is only y boy"
Hes twenty-five, and his own master,
and If you don't want to marry US, jest
say so, ard we'll get up and git of to
some other squire. reckon there's
more'n one on EN- in big town like
this here"
William, hand me the statute. Let
me see; no justice preacher, &c, shall
marry minor under the age of-no,
that's not it. Where is the section that
prohibits a man from marrying his
grandmother Well, well, there's no
fool like an old fool" muttered the JUS
tice, looking sideways at the bride,
MADAME" he said TO the Old lady, who
was becoming impatient, 81 see nothing
IN this book that fixes the maximum age
of a bride or bridegroom-a great over
sight of the men who made the laws.
Stand up and join your right hands
"H9ld on, Squire, just mint. How
much are you goin' to charger
Anything You choose 10 bestow,
madam. It's only two minute job.
MIR. Henry n. Hart, here, a barrister OF
the bar, will be kind enough to act as n
witness of this .momentous marriage.
William, prepare the certificate, and
make n big Bohemian flourish under my
name
The contracting parties stood up, join
Cd their hands, and were pronounced
man and wife in a deep, ventriloqual
voice. The certificate was made out IN
the names of John Doyle and Julia
Smith, both of the state of Illinois. The
bride snatched the document before the
ink was dry, crammed it into her bosom,
invited the groom to down on onc OF
the bsrches, formerly church pew, and
partske of "snack." She drew from her
capscious pockets two handtuls of roasted
peanuts, and the happy couple spent the
first ten minutes of their honeymoon In
mssticating the fruit of which statesmen
snd,politicians are so foBd. Justice Ioung
refused to tell the amount OF the fee he
received, but as he was unusually cheer
full all the remainder OF the day, 1t was
surmised that the old lady was liberal IN
her outlay for 3 husband.