South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1877-11-09
wEr ANp TTuNroR.


friendship. The Chancellor. with tho
distinct purpose. as IL would seem, of |
insulting the advocate, brought with
him on TO the bench large Newfound- |
land dog. TO which he devoted great
deal OF his attention while Curran was
addressing very elaborate argument TO
him. At very material port in the
speech the judge turned quite away. and
seemed to be wholly engrossed with his
dog. Curran ceased to speak. go on,
so on. Mr.. Curan," said the Chancellor.
20. beg thousand pardons, my lord
ssid the witty barrister, Il really was
under the impression that your lordships
were in consultation"
EIAn American platform lecturer
solemnly said one evening before his
auditors: Parents, you have children.
or If not, your daughters may have"
TIT FOR TAT.-It is we'll not TO show
contempt for n book TO its authors face.
as newly made Sergeant Murphy learned
when dining in company with the author
OF Ten Thousand Year" He called
out across the table: Warren, never
had patience to finish that book of yours:
tell me what was the end of Cannon"
Oh" said Warren TO the lawyer, "thev
made him q sergeant, and he vas never
heard Of after"
Seeing that men OF all sorts delight in
girding ct the professors of law and
physic, it is strange that instead OF max.
ing common cause together, LAWYERS
and doctors rather cherish mutual an
tipathy, which finds vent in an amusing
interchange Of asperities. Cross-exam.
ming DR., W, New York counsel de-
cIared that a doctor ought to be able
to give an opinion Of disease without
making mistakes. "Thcy make fewer
mistakes than the lawyers responded
the physician. That's not So" said
tie counsellor; but doctors mistakes
are buried six feet under ground;
lawyers arc not" No" replied W.
but they are sometimes hung as many
feet above ground" The advantage
was with the doctor.
1t was on the other side when, disnut.
ing as to the comparative merits oftbeir
profession, Sir Henry Holland said to
Bohas Smith, an ex.advocate.general
"Yon must admit that your profession
does not make angels ofmen?" and tho
lawyer replied: There you have the
best of it; yours certainly gives them
the best chance"
Said pompous man Of money TO Pro.
lessor Agassiz: Il once took some in
tcrest in natural science; but became
a'banker and am what l ami" "Ahl'
replied Agassiz, my father procured n
place for me in bank; bat begged
for one more year of study, then for
second, then for third That fixed my
fate, sir. If it had not been for tba.
little frmness OF mine, should now
have been nothing but banker"
tzv"Darling, It's bedtime; all the
little chickens have gone 80 bed" Yes.
mamma; and so has the old hen"
Fresh CoLoRED.--Sbe was very
dark skinned lady and for all the world
knows to the contrary, the blood of a
thousand African prjnccssos might have
coursed It's way through her veins. She
walked gracefully into a city dry goods
store and asked for flesh colored stock
ings. The young man bowed, smiled
and went to work looking over his stock
in trade Finally he brought forth tho
box, took the top or and displayed n
lot Of stockings as black as the hinges
Of midnight, which he warranted to be
all Voc. The colorcd lady looked az
him, and with fire and liberty beam
ing out Of both eyes. she exclaimed:
Look here, young man, what do Won
meau?"
The clerk responded:
Business, madam"
Does you call dem flesh coloroi /
ftockings?' asked the customer
"Wcll, they may be n shade or two Off |
color, but nh, but ahl ! should Judge .
from your complexion that they were
about the thing" said Che clcrk.
Look here, young man, I wants yoa
to understand dat when buys flesh co
lorcd toch.ngs, buys 'om ike q white
lady and wants YOU to understand
fuddcr dat you am not dc Judge ir die
case. Iu.dom things back aaJ eiveme.
some stockings according TO de white
folks grade
It was not long before she lof. Che