The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1877-06-23
FUNNYGRAPHS.

A0 way mas written: The tramp WHO
enters here leaves Hope behind him."
A LITTLE Philadelphia boy startled
lady friend of the family the other day
by remarking that he was "four wears
old with his clothes onln
WHEN Burns sighed for the power to
see ourselves as other see us, he was
probably just anxious to see how his
new coat set in the back-Ha,ckeye.
LADY: "And put just tint of car
mine on the cheeks-but not too much.
you know" Photographer: EXACTLY.
madam, | perfectly understand; about as.
much as you have on now" -Judy.
WHY" asked Pat one day, "why-
was Balaam frst-class astronomer ?''
The other man gave it up, of course.
"Shure," said Pat, "twas because he
had no trouble in findin' an ass to roid. ~
IRISH boatman Ito timid Teuton):
"Och, niver mind what they've been
telling We about the boat. She do tip
aisy, it's true, but that's nothing; she:
rights herself again in a jify.
A YOUNG lady had coquetted until the
victim was completely exhausted. He
rose to go away. She whispered, as she
accompanied him to the door, | shall
be at home next Sunday evening" $50
shall / y he replied.
TADPoLE Ito the class photographer:
Look at this proof. Do you call that Il
good likeness. Why, it makes me look
like a balloon. Photographers: My dear
sir our camera never lies.-Haruard
La0lpoon.
A YOUNG gentleman who ventured
west in the prevailing fashion of neck
wear, was Immediately utilized by the
thrifty grangers, who smeared his collar
with coal tar and set him up as a grass.
hopper trap.-B0ston Commercial Bulletin.
A YOUTH refused to take pill His.
crafty mother thereupon secretly placed
the pill in preserved pear and gave it
to him. Presently she asked: "Tom-
my, have you eaten the pear?" He re-
piled: @ Yes, mother, all but the seed. ,"
ONE of the southern newspapers tells
of a man whose life was saved by plug
of tobacco carried in his pocket. A pis-
tol-bullet fired at him lodged in the to-.
bacco, and the man was unframed.
Moral: If You use tobacco, don't take it.
out of your pocket.
If it is true, as stated, that grass
thirty feet in height grows IN Texas,
that state enjoys the distinction Of being
the only one in the Union where it is not
suicidal to tickle Il mule with a spear OF
grass Worcester Press.
WHEN man starts to pat down car
pet, the first thing he does is 20 insert q
tack in his knee.-Ec. A mar who is.
| III condition to mistake his knee for
the carpet should be utilized as ''fright-
full example" at temperance meeting
| N0rr Herald.
81 SHOULDN'T like to be an oarsman,'"
said Jones. q Why not?" asked Green.
Because an oarsman has 50 many pull.
backs" replied Jones; and then the two.
youths shook hands, and went out to buy
something.
SEND us from every town and county
in America, poems; sad, sweet, dreamy
poems on Summer" Write only ON
one side of the paper, please. We want
the other side to write editorials on
Hawkeye.
TIE cucumber season has set in, and
man is walked up at 2 o'clock in the
morning, after dreaming that an ele-
plant is sitting on his equator, TO eXpe-
rience violent regret that he has not
attended church more regularly in his
youth.
A CANARY-BIRD, thirty-four years
old, blind as a bat, and bald
as an egg, can split his face down to
his shoulders and shrek for three hours
without taking breath, in tones that
make the man who owns him wish he
knew where he could trade him off for 81
good three-ply whistle.
WHEN man goes out to Deadwood,
in the Black Hills, he doesn't want to-
carry much fine social veneering with
him. There is a prejudice against that
sort of thing. But if he must have some
thing to remind him of eastern life, let
him take out q surgeon. No family is
happy there long without one.
A MINCE-PIE sent to a Sing-Sing con-
Wet was found to contain an ingenious
rope-ladder. Unless you oversee the pre-
pairing of the mince-meat yourself, you
can't always tell how a mince-pie will
pan out; and a rope-ladder is not so apt
to spoil mans appetite as a half of
mouse garnished with a tail and cut bias.
-Norrist0a0n Herald.
MEssENGER-" Sire, 5000 of thy brave
men have been slain in the last assaultl''
Gar" Ho, then. Telegraph to all the
foreign papers at once thatanother Turk
ish monitor has has been sunk by our tor
pedoes, and that not man escaped"
Aside-"I hatter myself that | know
how to run this war. "-L0uisuiilc Courier
Journal.
WHEN lovely woman stoops to folly III
Greece, she has the same inalienable
right to perforate her betrayer that she
possesses in the United States. Miss
Canavassogion destroyed her destroyer, a
captain in the Greek army, shooting him
in the public street. She was promptly
acquitted and conducted home in tri-