The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1877-03-02
How They Got Ready.

Mr.. AND MRS. MAN DIDN'T CATCH THE TRAIN.
When they reached the depot Mr.
Man and his wife gazed with unspeak-
able disappointment at the receding
train, which was just pulling away
from the bridge switch at the rate of a
thousand miles a minute. Their first
impulse was to run after it, but as the
train was out of sight and whistling for
Sagetown before they could act upon
the impulse, they remained in the car
riage, and disconsolately turned the
horses heads homeward.
at all comes of having to wait for a
woman to get ready" Mr.. Man broke
in, very grimly.
81 was ready before you were," re-
piled his wife.
"Great heavensw cried Mr.. Man, in
irrepressible impatience, jerking the
horses jaws out of place, 'just listen to
that! And l sat out in the buggy ten
minutes, yelling at you to come along
until the whole neighborhood heard
mer'
"Yes," acquiesced Mrs. Man, with
the provoking placidity which no one
can assume but a woman, "and every
time | started down stairs you sent me
back after something you had forgotten.
Mr.. Man groaned.
"This is too much to bear" he said,
"when everybody knows that if [ was
going to Europe I could just rush into
the house, put on a clean shirt, grab up
my grip-sack, and fly; while you would
want at least six months for prelimin-
ary preparations, and then dwaddle
around the whole day of starting until
every train had left town"
Well, the upshot of the matter was
that the Mans put off their visit to Au-
rora until the next week, and it was
agreed that each one should get him OF
herself ready, and go down to the train
and go, and the one who failed to gel
ready should be left. The day of the
match came around in due time. The
train was to go at 1920, and Mr.. Man
after attending to his business, went
home at 9:45.
"Now, them" he shouted, "only
three-quarters of an hour to train time
Fly around; fair field and no favors
you known
And away they flew. Mr.. Man bulgeC
into his room, aud rushed through tha
one, and dived into one closet after an
other with inconceivable rapidity
chuckling under his breath all the time
TO think how cheap Mrs. Man would
feel when he started off alone. H,
stopped on his way up stairs to pull of
his heavy boots to save time. For tht
same reason he pulled off his coat as ht
ran through the dining-room and huns
1t on a corner of the silver closet. TheI
he jerked off his vest as he rushed
through the hall and tossed it on hooI
on the hat-rack, and by the time ht
reached his own room, he was ready Il
plunge into his clean clothes. He pulled
out bureau-drawer, and began to paw
at the things like Scotch terrier afte
a rat.
"EIeanorw he shrieked, "where ar
my shirts ?"
SIN your bureau-draweru calmly re
piled Mrs. Man, who was standing pla
cidly before glass, calmly and deliber
ately coaxing refractory crimp int,
place.
"WeII, by thunder, they ain'ty
shouted Mr.. Man little annoyed; "pv
emptied every last thing out of tn
drawer, and there isn't a thing in i
that ever saw before"
Mrs. Man stepped back a few PAGES
held her head one side, and after salts
flying herself that the crimp would do
and would stay where she put it, re
piled:
''These things scattered around tn
floor are all mine. Probably you havn'
been looking in your own drawer"
81 don't see," testify observed Mr.
Man, "why you couldn't have put nj
things out for me when you hadn't any
thing else to do all the morning.n
Because" said Mrs. Man, settlin!
herself into an additional article of raj
ment with awful deliberation, "uobod,
put mine out for me. A fair field anC
no favors, my dear"
Mr.. Man plunged into his shirt like .
bull at red flag.
"FoulW he shouted in malicious tri
umph. mo buttons on the neck!"
Because" said Mrs. Man sweetIy
after deliberate stare at the fidgeting
impatient man, during which time sh,
buttoned her dress and put eleven pin
where they would do the most good
because you have got the shirt ol
wrong side outn
When Mr.. Man slid out of that shir
be began to sweat. He dropped tn
shirt three times before he got it on
aud while it was over his head he hear,
the clock strike ten. When his heaC
came through he saw Mrs. Man eoaxinl
the ends aud bows of her necktie.