Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1877-11-14
the FATAL ELASTIC.
Unfortuaats for The Rev. Mia s.mith-
Why Women are Not Fitted f6r
the MinlstrY.

van AAAaSS
Nobody denies that women may lie able
to write sermons. It is true that, as q rule,
women have not that native gin Of tedious
ness which characterizes so many of the
other sex, but they possess . remarkable
capacity for adapting Themselves to circum-
stances, and there is no doubt that there are
scores Of women who could write sermons
upon the ten horns of the Apocalyptic beast,
or in denunciation of the 'papists." which
in point of tediousness would equal the best
efforts of Mr.. Talmage himself. While it
is thus readily. conceded that women are
capable OF writing sermons, it does not fol-
low that they are fitted for the ministry. It
is not worth while to quote the opinion of
st. Paul on this matter, since it has long
since been decided BY some women that
inspiration always forsook the apostle when
ever he attempted to speak of the sex and
that when he directs women to keep .ilence
in churches he is entitled to no more re-
spect than is accorded to any unmarried
clergyman Of the present day. The real ar
gument against the presence of women in
The pulpit is older than st. Paul, and as old
as the human race. 1t is the very fact Of
their sex which units them for public
preaching. The skirts with which nature
has endowed them circumscribe their sphere
of usefulness. Let the advocates of a femi.
nine clergy imagine Mr.. Talmage hemmed
in BY a tight-ftting skirt, and they will at
once perceive that the %eloquence of his
fiery and enthusiastic legs would be totally
suppressed. Were he q woman the world
would never have suspected his vast o%ratori-
seal powers, and his sermons would have
been preached exclusively with his arms.
The history Of the late difficulty in the
Edgarton, (Wis.) Universalist society will
more plainly than the most careful
and elaborate argument of the un6tn.ss of
women for the pulpit The congregation in
question was presided over by a female pas
tor, who was young and was not altogether
ugly. In fact, q number of near-sighted and
weak-eyed young men were Of the opinion
that her extreme beauty Of character made
her seem really beautiful, provided one did
not examine her in a strong light. Miss
Smith-for it would hardly be delicate to
point her out by any distinctive name-was
learned and eloquent, at least in the es,ima-
ton of her hearers. Her sermon, entitled.
''Will Tnere he Daisies ia the Future
World?" was published last winter in pam
phlet form, and was called by the local
new, paper "a mastery discussion Of a theme
of transcendent importance to the inquiring
soul" After preaching nearly a year, her
popularity remained undated, and up to
the first Sunday of last month no one had
found any fault either with her private or
her ministerial conduct.
1t was on the morning of the day just
mentioned that Miss Smith entered the meet
ing-house while the choir was executing a
most complicated request. in four parts
and a chorus, for the disconsolate to come
ard be cheered up, She walked gracefully
up the aisle, and tripped lightly up The
pulpit stairs. Whether it had been fas
tened insecurity or whether the clasp was
defective the world will never know. The
only thing Of which we can be sure is that
it dropped on precisely the most c%onspicu-
Gus stair of the whole flight.
1t SO happened that the pulpit stairs
were carpeted with costly Brussels, and
that the deacons being Of an economical
turn of mind, had covered the carpet with
a light brown hoor-cloth which, through
repeated washings, had faded until it was
nearly white. On this light background
the circlet of scarlet glowed as if it were
3 band of red-hot iron. while the nickel.
plated clasp shone and flashed in the sun.
beams. There was not an eye in the audi
ence that was not riveted on the pulpit
stair, and thrill of admiration mingled
with horror simultaneously passed through
nearly all except the very Oldest of the
worshipers.
OF course, in itself considered, a bit Of
scarlet cloth, whether elastic or non elias
tic, is not necessarily a dangerous thing;
but when We consider all the circumstances
of the affair, it must be admitted that the
attention of Miss Smiths audience was in
a fair way to be distracted from the sermon.
Two men were found who were bold enough
to attempt to face the situation. The super.
~intendent Of the Sunday school. a young
man who admired Miss Smith, and regarded
Pollok's "Course of Time" as superior to
paradise Lost" and was excessively near
sighted, noticed that his revered pastor had
dropped what he imagined to be a Russian
purse. He at once roae from his seat with
the intention of picking up the article, but
as he bent down for the purpose a percep-
tible shudder passed through his slight
frame. He turned deadly pale, leaned for
a moment against the railing Of the stairs,
then pensively went back to his seat and
buried his face in his hands. The senior
deacon, fancying that the young man had
suddenly been taken ill, rose up, and in his
turn went to the pulpit stairs, before he had
time to recover the lost article, his wife,
an exceedingly narrow old lady, with very
sharp edges, whispered in a ehrill tone
deacon Smedley, don't you dare touch it,"
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