, 1877-12-16

Nesp York World.
Men will give enormous gifts to women they
wouldn't take us gift.
Gallic economy: Guest" Here waiter; bring
me 4 straw for INF iced coffee" Waiter" One
moment, sir: oil in use at present; but that gcn-
tlcman Wonder is almost flushed with his. Your
turn ncx1.'
X, married man-O tic !cultirates assidu-
ously-~too assiduousy, indeed-a fair haired lit
Tie tjrnrante. II thought sail une OF his
trends to him the other day, "that you couldn't
bcar blonde" ''Neither could once, re-
piled x; |' but you know l married oru-
nette."
The Doctor You cat wella" Lie Ma1ade
1magiuare-'s ycs.n The Doctor And drink
WclI!'' LIE AtaIaue Imaeinairc-'' Yes" The
Doctor And sleep well!' Le Malade Ilnagi-
naire-" Yes.'' The Doctor (wrtin. prescrip-
tion)--st Have this made up. anu take it three
times day. Well soon stop that"
The lawyer, perceivng that his cloquenec had
put the Cnl1rt to sleep, stops speaking, and the
silence naturally awakens the Judges. He con-
tinues lis argument, Saving: = ANU now let 1ne
return to the point that cl!tleavorGl to make
clear to your IIonors Yesterday" fhc Judges
stare at each other, and perfectly convinced
that they have lost whole night Of his speech.
A gentleman presents himself at the bureau
Of the Exposition, aud says to the clerk, :" /
want to exhibit MY wife" "Iour wifc!, says
tile stupelcl clerk; "yonr-wiic! Nhy!''
4.Dcca,,sc, sir, she is model woman; one that
has never given her husband cause for jealousy;
rs faithful and kind as ten old dog Trays"
| 'Surc Of it!'' ~ will swear it, 6ir.'' "rhen
it's you that ought to be put on exhibition"
Eight of them have united to purchase the
right to shoot over !; small suburban farm. On
the evening Of the opening OF The season hap
Nv thought comes into the head OF one IT the
lcssees, and uc writes seven anonymous letters
to lis seven partEers, Urging each, as he values
the honor of Ills family and ii ilc would tilwart
Il hcartlcss seducer to be ut an indicated spot in
tho Bois next day at ?. III. ana Keep All eye I'll
| his wife. Next day he has i pleasant days
| shooting all to himself.
| While in Algeria, mighty hunter went OFT
| on long excursion accompanied by natiyc
| guide, whose face and manner were not too in
| spiring Of confidence. They had seant luck;
provisions ran short, aud the guide proposed to
his c,nploycra dish Of broiled monkey. "idon't
knows said the European, though he was
| hungry; q what does it taste like" Its TIN
/! dcrrr than man, but not SO juicy,' said the
guide in the most mattcr-of-fact manner. The
| European at once broke camp aud returned
| ho,n=wart!. insisting on carrying his own guu
and having the guide go in front.
| THE CAT, Il LONDON GIN-pALACE.
| Bei9rarfa.
1t WAS about $780, fairly set in, and the street
below was lit through its entire length with
flame Jets from gas and oil and naphtliu, that
tho crowd began to make its appearance. From
my observatory could see through the whole
breadth Of the plate-glass windows Of the Cat,
| and scarcely yard Of the ample space before
| the bar, provided By FIVE compartments, was
| hidden from me. There lad not been much
| trade doing at that establishment rs yet; but
| the decks were cleared for action. and the crew
| Of muscular barmcn were evidently prepared
| for action. There were four Of them, strong
aud hsrf.E fnhl
which were rolled back above their elbows
and with white aprons, but with neither
s!lirt-collar nor neckcrclief, the Object evident
| Iy bcing t. avoid any supcrfuous incum brance
| that might impede trcc action when the time
for displaying it arrived Mr. Chowlcr the prt>-
| Erictor, WAS present. but he wore his glossy hat
ant! his black coat, and his frlcd shirt with the
emerald studs, and lounvcl nealigcntly at the
door Ut thu private bar smoking cigar in
| manner admirably adapted for the display oi
| the two large diamond rin.s with which his
| short and chubby little finger was adorned The
| Queen was il her countinr-house counting out
the llonpy. In other WORKS. Mrs. Clowlcr, wear
| in!r the sleeves OF her black satin gown short
enough to fairly reveal her heavy bullion brace
lets, was busy in the parlor with casil-box and
| tray, setting out countless heaps of change
cd and all ready. Seyen-7:30 came, and ut
| present the four stalwart barmcn had had suc},
| I'LL easy time OF it that began to think that I
| had unfortunately hit On an exceptionally slack
| night. But my alarms were soon dissipated.
| At 7:30 counted sixteen people drinking at the
| bars; at 1:45 there were thirty-tlrcc; ut S:15
| there were so many ana the five doors we're So
| constantly opening and shutting for the cgrcss
| and ingress Of customers that found it impos-
| sible to keep count, and gave up the task Us
| hopeless. There was no rush rs yet. How
| ever elaborate might be the carving, aud gilsl-
| ing. and cumbrous ornamcntatton on the liquor
vending side OF the bar, the most rigid
| economy as regards space was observed on thc
drinking side Of 1t. In each Of its five compart-
| mcnts-wtlicf included the great principal one,
! capable Of aIoraing standing room for perhaps
| 100 pcrsons-evcrything was Us naked and bare
] OH: not table or so much as an upturncd tub