The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1877-04-26
HUMOROUS

~AAouaN1I bhNg luN 9ouhE ShiSh'hnt o"NN
kream, and the best place la front o
the fireplace.
Dogs are faithful, they will stick TO
bone after everybody else haz deserted
IL.
Parrots are eazlly edukated, but they
will learn 10 swear well in haff the tint
they will learn ennything else.
The birds eat bugs and worms fol
plain %vittles, but their dessert konsisti
on the best cherrys aud ~gooseberries In
the garden.
The owl IL only a picture oy wisdun
by dalite, when he kant see emmy
thing. When IL Gums mite hiz wisdun
wholly konsists in ketching a field
mouse If he kan.
The donkey IL an emblem ov pa.
chunce, but II you study them klosser,
yu will find that lazyness IL what's the
matter ov them.
The eagle IL the monark ov the skies
but the little king-bird will chase him
10 his hiding place.
The OK knOweth hiZ masters krib,
and that IL all he DUE kno, or care about
hiZ master.
Monkeys are imitatiff, but II they
kant immitate some deyiltry they aim
happy.
The goose IL like other phools-all,
wuss seems anxious TO prove 1t.
If mules are eve meek II IL simply
becauze they are ashamed oy themselfs.
but mules are hibrid, amt accountable
for ennything.
The bees are a bizzy people; rather
than be idle they will rob each other
ov their bunny.
The kockroach IL a lOafer, and DOM
seem TO live so much on what they eat
as what they kan git into.
Ducks are only cunning about ont
thing; ther lay their eggs in stitch sly
places that Sumtimes they kant FIND
them again themselfs.
The muskrat kan foresee ahard winter
and provide for 1t, but he can't keeI
from gettin ketched In the sylliest kind
ov a trap.
Hens kno when it IS a-going to rain.
and shelter themselfs, but they will try
to hatch out a glass egg just az honest
az they will one ov their own.
Mudturkles are the slowest oy emmy
f~our-legged kritters, and yet they are
allwuss on the move, trielng to gil
somewhere else. o
Hornets hav more fight in them than
ennything ov their size, but there IL nc
method in their madness; thew will
pitch into a meeting house when they
are furious, just az anxious az they will
into a sleeping baby in its kradle.
h krO IL the most natral ov all
thiefs; they will steal, and hide, what
IL of no use to them, nor loss to enny
boldly else.
Ants are the biggest ov all the little.
or big bugs, but a large share ov their
time IL spent in repairing their houses,
which are bilt WHARF folks kant heir
but step on them.
Flies toll not, neither do thew spin,
yet they hav the first taste oy ali the
best gravys in the land.
The cuckoo IL the gratest ekonemist
amung the birds; she lays her eggs in
other birds nests, and lets them hatch
them out at their leizure.
Rats hav fewer friends and more
enemys than anything Of the four-legged
purswashun on the face of the earth,
and yet rats are az plenty now az in thu
palmyest days ov the Roman Empire.
Ov all things lazy the sloth wears the
belt, and yet his lazyness is all thare is
interesting about him.
The frog dodgeth when it lightens,
and the tud gaps when the thunder
bellows.
The kro bids her nest ov stix. the
swallo ov mud, the squirrels ov leaves,
the wren ov feathers and wool, and the
w~oodpecker digs a hole for his eggs in
the rotten trees.
The sarpent and the krab change
their clothing each year. and the rack.
coon lives all winter long on the memory
ov what he ct in the summer.
The horse allwus gifts up from the
ground on his fore legs first, the kow
on her hind ones, and the dog turns
around 3 times before he lies down.
The kangaroo he jumps when he
walks, the coon PAGES when he trots,
and the lobster travels backward az fast
az he kan forwards.
The elephant haz the least, and the
rabbit the most eye for their size, and 8
rats tale IL just the length ov hi7
boldly.
Inc spider IL the only kritter that
ketches its food in a trap, and a sheer
will liv without water longer than enny
dOmestick animal.
The fox IL the hardest to ketch in q
trap, and a muskrat the eazylest, and
the meddo lark IL the shyest oY all the
birds ov the air.
The kro flies 6 miles, and the wild
pidgeon 60 al hour, but the humming
birds beats all things on the wing.
The horse will eat 10 hours out of
every II; the OK lays down and chews
hiz kud half the time; and the hog
never knows what it IL not to be hungry.
The wild turkey kan u faster than
he kan fly, and emmy man who is a good
walker kan tire a deer out in "a hours.
| kant think, in konklusion, ov emmy
thing just now, in art, science, or
morality, that mankind excel in, but
kan be found, more or less developed,
In the bugs, beasts, birds, and fishes
Josh Billings.