The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-11-03

IOuutuDSI lndl, Wndb 1Odl " dS IL. 1OAl-
ist--My first!-- Funny Folks.
Among the many surmises as to
what will become of the last man, it is
queer that nobody has yet discovered
that he is destined to be talked to death
by the last woman.-PhjLGdeLpb ChrOn-
dcle.
"A child was recently born in Parke
| County, Ind, with its arms and hands
turned backward. Its parents were in
despair till they reflected that the young
ster would make good Custom House
Inspector.
Good bless the old soldiersp shouted
a patriot down on Washington street
yesterday, as he stepped on a castaway
" chew" and went down on his back. At
least, he said something of the kind;
there may be one word wrong, but we
give his remark as correctly as a long
hand report can get it.
"A Jonesville, Mich, father and
mother are reported to have bound a
three-year-old child in the house and
gone off to the county fair. They stayed
away two days and two nights-the father
drunk and the mother in danCe-house.
The child was nearly dead when they re-
urned.
Since their emancipation, it is I'M
deniable that the colored people of the
South have been dying Of at a fearful
rate. They have crowded into the cities
and large towns, occupying the un-
healthiest quarters, and have contracted
diseases previously almost unknown to
them. The present average mortality of
negroes in the southern cities is twice
that of the whites.
-Harpe1's Bazar says: Ladies will
wear camels-hair listers this winter"
We don't like to dispute such an au-
thority as the BdzGr, but we'll bet Mr..
Harper $500 we know one woman who
will wear the same old eighty-five cent
waterproof all winter long, unless her
husbands lottery ticket catches more
Christian number than noughty -nought
hundred and noughty- nought, as it did
J last time.-Hdaok.E Eye.
While the well-diggers were sinking
: an eighteen-inch well on the farm of
Levi Dillon, at Normal, H., a day or two
ago, they suddenly came upon a depth
of water at seventyseven feet that burst
in with such force that the tools, weigh
ing 600 pounds were forced up one foot,
and the water rose at once fifty six feet.
Mr.. Dillon has curbed up the we'll and
t intends setting up windmill pump.
-Woman's consistency holds the world
r of happiness in its orbit. Nothing is
more sacredly beautiful than her tender,
trusting faith. The Queen upon hel
gorgeous throne relies upon her peoples
affection, and the humble hand maid in
the kitchen believes she can light the
fire with the kerosene until we read in
the undertaker's bill how possible il is
to be deceived.
You can't always tell. We have
known sweet faced young man, who
spoke such beautiful words Of moral
benevolence at the boarding house table
as brought tears to the eyes of the tender
hearted landlady, suddenly depart with
months board unsettled, and all the
souvenir he left her is his valise, {
second hand pocket testament and pail
of faded paper collars.
:, dying bed of a prominent citizen I" Was
he connected with savings bank?'
asked the divine. "He was a Trustee,
replied the messenger. "Well, there's
9 no use in my going" said the pastor
S "still the mercy of Heaven is infinite
and there's no saying-so l had better
: go through the motions perhaps. - CHI
cage Tribune.
Uncle Johnson Miles, of Macon
County, Mo-, is an old soldier of 1912,
well preserved for his age, active and
} 1.-the of limb. A few days ago he rode
: into town and repaired to his accustomed
| hitching place, and just as he dismounted
he was approached by a strange man who
inquired as to his health and proposed to
hitch his horse. The proposition was
accepted, the parties cycling each other
closely, when all at once the old man
embraced the younger, recognizing in
him his son, S. A. Miles, of Portland,
Oregon, whom he had not seen for TWEEN
ty-seven years.
"A young English lady lodged in a
fashionable quarter of Rome, shook a
dress out of the window in order to dis.
lodge the dust, whereupon she was visited
by policeman and informed that she had
committed " contravention," for which
she was liable to fine. Instead of Civ
ing him franc or two, she contested
her liability, and had to fee lawyer
and appear before the courts. Before
the case was ended she had to pay sew
eral hundred francs for the offence that
is committed every hour in the day in
nearly every street in Rome.
The Muscatine Qowa) Journal says
that some thirty stockholders of the Mus
catine Grange factory held a meeting on
Monday, at which its affairs were talked
over and found to be in an unsatisfacto-
ry shape, so far as could be learned
from the meager showing made by the
management. The upshot is that the
$2O,0 in cash paid in by the stock
holders is "gone where the woodbine
twineth," and it is now feared that the
assets remaining will not meet the liza
bilities, so that not dollar will be re-
turned to the stockholders, some of
whom put several thousand dollars into
the concern.
A New Explosive Bullet.
CAPT G. S. O'HARA, of New Orleans,