The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-06-29
WHAT THE WITS SAY.
There has been carnival out west. They
call it the Mardi grasshopper.-Puck

Each breeze that blows from the Danube
brings to our ears the clash of resounding
vowels. Chicago Times.
GA. G. Rowland is painting Secretary
Evarts' farm at Windsor" With Paris
green, probably.-Boston Pozt.
The Russian iron-clad Petropawloski is
named after the great Peter.-Phsza. Gsze-
graph. Yes, and Pawl, too.- Graphic.
Worcester Sauce: "We suppose that
the milk of bob-tailed COW may be appro-
priately referred to as the lack-tailed f1id." I"
Gear is pronounced as if it were spelled
| Char Wash. Star. Then his wife is
nothing more than charwoman.-Cin.
| Gazette.
| If you want want to find Newark po-
| liceman strike the first trail of peanut
shells you come across and follow it,
Newark Call.
A couple up town who have seven chill
dren have called the last one Theophilus,
which is theophilust name in the family
| Norusch Bulletin.
A man in Pittsburg went in q dry goods
store and asked to be shaved. He was
misled By striped stocking haning at the
front door.-Phiza. Record.
Alexander Stevens is still improving in
| health. He weighs thirty-four pounds and
has to paste his clothes to his body with
waters to keep himself from falling through
them.-Hapkeye.
The Adventists now announce that the
end of the world will come on the 7th of
July, this year. This is rather earlier than
it came last year, and will have rather
discouraging effect upon fourth of July
subscriptions .-HawEeye.
The Philadelphia Saturday Evening
Mirror has "variety critic ;" and this is
his elevated and original style: "We had
rather be button on Jenny Satterlee's
oYerskirt than dwell in the tents of the
wicked" And this he attributes to King
David.
Our forefathers were content to spread
their frugal repast upon the bare bark that
they stripped from the forest trees, but the
aristocracy of to-day not only insist upon
having q sixteen-dollar extension table, but
stick up their noses If poverty compels
them to use a sheet for a table-cloth.-
ton Times.
Admirers of Russian literature will enjoy
the following scrap which Alexis contributes
to Croffut's column in the New York
Graphic:
"Owata jollitimiv I'D
Sinci tooklevov mioldad
Owata merricoviye bin
Ivespenta nwfu! pilovtin!
Damsorri tolevam now,
But landigoshenjngo VOW,
Thetur kishwar mustavastop
Gotele graphitoff to pop"
A man on West Hill has brought peace
into his family circle forever. Last week
bs sy mDxsa TlnoM 1 e9SFs eS5sang s
he bought his wife nina miles of clothes
line, cord of clothes line props, and one
hundred and twenty-four dozen clothes
pins. And the angels just come down and
sit around on the side fence and envy that
womans perfect happiness.-Hsrkeye.
The innocent little cactus is now reach
ing out into the glad spring air in search
of the unwary young man who wears thin
pains and sits down thoughtlessly to look
at the generous picture of Rocky
Mountain sunset. The cactus doesn't act
on the offensive very much, but the young
man who thinks he can intimidate cac-
tus by sitting down on it suddenly aad
taking it by surprise, will find, when it is
everlastingly too late, that life is indeed a
stern reality. -iSumsAine (Co1) Courier.