The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1877-12-27
Wit and HumOr.

ana emo WIN court.
MANY of Chicago's bank presidents are
gone but not forgotten.
Mary had Won little Ram, its fleece all over
yite,
Und every we're dat Mary vent, de Ram vas
sure TO abide"
"YOU are as pretty as Il picture" is no
longer the correct compliment to pay a
lady. Simply say, You put me in mind
of a chrome"
Il TELL you what, Jane, it was we'll l
didn't meet that superb creature over
there before our marriage" YES said
Jane, $50 it was-for yOs."
IT has been wisely and wittily OBJ
served, with as much truth as poetry,
that man glories in his strength and
woman in her hair, while butter glories
in both.
THE Kroomen of West Africa say of
the American: "Him catchee horse, make
he work; catchce water, make he work; ;
catchee fire, make he work; catchee
wind, make he work"
A NEBRASKA judge decided to give a
horse-thief one more chance To reform.
As the fellow left the neighborhood to be-
gin newer and better life he took along
the judges horse to help him.
"GENTLEMEN, introduce to you my
friend, who isn't as stupid as he appears
to be-" Introduced Friend, with vivaci-
ty: That is precisely the difference be-
tween my friend and myself
WHILE a compositor on the Montreal
Witness was setting up an advertisement
of lost canary. few days ago, the
bird flew in at the office window. This
shows the value Ut advertising.
AvoID ARGUMENTS WITH LADIEs.-In
spinning yarns among silks and satins, n
man will ever be aoorsted and taoisted.
And when man is worsted and twisted
he may consider himself ,oound up.
USEFUL TO KNow.-A gentleman of
considerable experience writes to SAY that
in order to thoroughly enjoy roasted
goose there should be only two i'll COM
pany-the goose and the goose-eater.
"WHo can hold fire in his hand9' cx-
claimed a public. speaker. Any one
that smokes" responded voice; "he'll
strike match and light his cigar with
it, the windest day that ever you saw
A SCOTCH baronet's butler gave up his
place because his lordship's wife was al
ways scolding him. "Ah!' his master
exclaimed, "ye've little to complain o.
Ye may be thankfu' ye're no married to
her"
A NEVADA mans Chinese laborer re-
Gently refused to chop wood on Sunday
morning, and when the reason was asked he
answered: Heap no work Sunday; alice
same white man. Heap play poker"
Our benighted Chinese!
THE hard hearted Ashland Resieao asks
'sDid you ever notice how sensitive are
the ears of woman in church to the cry
ing of some other wOman's babyi and
how deafer than post she is when her
own offspring sets up its piercing squsllT'
FULNKss.-Interesting wild
over TO n young lady he is about to mar
ry.) There is one thing was going
to mention to you. l have several pairs
of nice boots that belonged to my poor
dear first; suppose you wouldn't mind
wearing them out"
"DID you steal the compliments coatf'
ssked the Magistrate of seedy indi.
vidual who was arraigned before him. Il
decline to crafty the morbid curiosity of
the public by answering that question,
responded the seedy individual, with a
scorntul glance at the reporter.
A FARMER having cattle trespassing
upon his grass fields, posted up the fol-
lowing: "Notis-lf any mans or wom-
ans cows or oxen gets in these here otes,
his or her tale will be cut off rs the case
maybe. pa mi taxes but darn "A man
who lets his critters run lu>e, say l."
parishioncrs, asked her if she was pleased
with the sermon that he had preached
the previous day. On receiving a reply
in the affirmative, he inquired ii she un-
derstood it all. Eth! mon," exclaimed
the lady, would hae the persecution r.
AN inquisitive traveller, noticing that
the man who sat beside him in the rail
road car had weed on his hat, said: Il
see you are in mourning. Was il II near
or distant relative that you lostl' The
bercaved one replied: "Wal, he was
pooty distant-'bout thirty mile or So, by
the turnpike"
A LADY writes to say, in reply to a
question in the Herald, that no miss
should be kissed by her gentleman friends
after she is -. A gentleman writes :
''Let us not kiss her ut ALL" A girl
writes "As we never know when We be-
gin, do not let US think when we leave
off"-N. y. Uercld.