Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1877-04-19
Aumuruns department.
THE END OF THE HONEYMOON.

lt-yes, you DO, splendld! Oh! Uusty, now
like your Roman nose, and I'm so glad you
have such elegant whiskers. Do you love
me? OIL Gusty, how sweet you are. Am
I your own little darling-really, am ]? l
don't think they can see in from over the way,
do you? You may kiss me just twice more.
Isn't it awful to think of married people quar-
reling, Gusty? We couldn't quarrel, could
WEI Oh no, never, never! I couldn't say
cross word to you, and you couldn't to me,
could you? Well live together as the angels
do, and die at the same moment. Oh Gusty,
it is awful to love as we do. Sometimes my
heart stands still when think of it. You
may give me two kisses more. Hark what's
that3 I hope it isn't that Jones coming to
call. I hate him !"
"It's unreasonable in you to hate him, my
love-"
Unreasonable to hate himi Why, Gus
ty-I unreasonable p
"Why do you hate him?"
"Why do hate him? Well, I don't know;
he has such funny, long neck, and-and-
he's horrid."
"He's my dearest friend"
"He's your dearest friend Oh !! wife
ought to be her husbands dearest friend, Au.
gustus. What do you ssay-I have cousin
Jane, and sister Sarah, and ma? Well, wo-
man must have some one; aud dear ma-to
bring her in"
"0h, I don't care. They'll be company for
you when I'm at the club"
"The club, Augustus! You don't ever
mean to 60 to the club again, do you? Al,
gustus Gardener-you, married man, and
60 to club?" ....,
"Why mott" 81
"Why not2 Why because it's place fer
dreadful, dissipated bachelors. I know all
about it. But it's all that dreadful Jones of
yours. He has put it into your head. What's
that you are muttering? MY chatterbox
women friends have put queer things into my
headY Do hear Alright? Mr.. Gardener! |!
NV cousin Jane, my sister Sarah, and dear
ma, chatter.boxes7 I call that shameful!
Oh, have lived to hear such things? But
what can expect Of man who will 60 to
club and leave his deserted wife to sit up tor
him all alone, and come home the worse for
liquor, no doubt. No, that won't bear, Mr.:
Gardener. Do that once, and I'll have d.
vorce." -.
"Very we'll, as soon as you like, my dear"
"As soon as like? Ah, see. That is
what you want. Jones has been putting that
into your head. No doubt he'd like to see
you free to lead any dreadful life you choose
again. When ma first saw that Jones, she
said-I do not like that man, my child An,
she has penetration"
"She'd better have minded her own busi-
ness"
"What-ma-maf Oh, can believe |
hear right? Thought I'd married gentle
man."
"And I thought I'd married an angel, but
I find I've tied myself to "a"
"Well, to what? Speak-say it out. Oh,
I know what the antipodes of angel is. Say
it out. You meant to say it. You did-no.
don't deny it, you did-you did-you did
No, there's no use kissing me now, Augustus.
You've killed me. It's all over. over.
".A woman ought to be reasonablep All,
how unfair, Augustus. It's you that has
abused my friends, and talked Of leaving me
for wicked club and mean old Jones, and
called me dev-you didn't? Yes, you did.
Oh! Am I your own dearest, and are you
sorry, and will you always do as like1 l
think I'll try to live, Gusty; yes, Gusty, dear,
I'll live for your sake You may kiss me; ;
but now pull down the blind and light the
gas. The moon has SET"
WANTED TO BE INTERv1EwED.-The Vir-
gnia (Nevada) Chronicle says: This morning
a young lad, with parcel of school books
under his arm, came into the Chronicle office
and stood for some minutes leaning against
the door, He was presently interrogated as
to wants, mission, etc.
"Are you the feller that does the inter-
viewin' ?"
The reporter acknowledged that branch of
his calling, and the boy proceeded:
"Would you interview feller what got
licked ?"
"Certainly"
Eye see, I 60 to the second ward school,
and this morning I got licked like thunder
for nutbin'; will ye put that in ?
Go on, my little man. Throwing spitballs
at GIRL supposed? =
.Ye see had book OPEN
"A Beadle's DimeY -.
No, reader; but it wasn't time to have
reading open. 1t was spellin' book time, ye
see, and the first thing 1 knowed somethin'
took me 'lengside the ear, sorter in this way.
Here the boy bumped his head against the
door, The teacher grabs me by the collar,
and begins to haul me round and busts me
agin the wall Then he lcks me. - -
'High.handed outrage - > 5sS
you bet, and if Bill Snooks was here he
would show ye how he. got licked. We git
licked every day for nothin'-jest nothin' at
all. The teachers partiality all the time:'
Can you tell what partiality means?
No, but that's what they call it. It's a
man that licks one feller right along, and
don't lick another feller at all. Now put that
in and send the bill to my dad .~GE.'..
ACAsH RANsAcr1oN.-A gentleman hired
boy to walk home beside him and carry a
bundle, having first agreed to pay the lad ff-
teen cents. Reaching the house, the man
found he had no smaller change than quar-
ter and he said -.
eff you will call at my Office at two o'clock,
III have the change"
"But it was to be cash down" said the boy.
$50 it was; but haven't the change, you
see You'll have to call at my Office"
"Ill CALL" growled the boy, as he turned
away, "but l know just how it will work.
When I knock on the door cross-eyed clerk
will yank it open, ask me what want, and
when l tell him, he will yell out, That man
went into bankruptcy last September, and now
you gitp That's the way they allus play it on
me, sir, and I druther lose the fifteen cents
than to call the clerk dodo, and have to
dodge coalscuttles all the way down stairs"
The gentleman walked with him to the
nearest grocery and made change. +
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