Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1877-11-02
PLEA6AMTRIEa

The Lady Slipper" is the name of YES
sci Just launched at Boston. She must be in
tended for the whaling course.
Next to English sparrows there is moth
ing that increases faster than potato bugs
unlessit is the interest of an unpaid note.
There are beautiful warm soda springs in
Colorado. and people who go bathing in them
at once exclaim: "Oh, but this is soda
licious !"
Learned professors know about 10000
words children of two from 200 to 7Oi; or
binary people 30, OOO book agents, $3.50, 800
When they learn the word quit their educa-
ton will be complete.
Prudent ministers will take advantage of
the present low price of flour and potatoes
and lay in store for the hungry hordes of
coming donation parties.
A teacher, after reading to her scholars
story of generous child, asked them what
generosity was One little boy raised his
hand and said, Il know; its giving to others
what you don't want yourself"
"A preacher who arrived at the kirk wet
through asked an old Scotchwoman what he
should do, to which she replied, Gang into
the pulpit as sune as we can. Yen be dry
enough there"
Matches are said to be made in heaven
If this is really their place of manufacture
says the indianapolis Sentinel, it seems pity
that box purporting to contain 100 should
be found upon examination to hold but thirty
five.
-'Did you steal the compliments coat ?"
asked the magistrate of seedy individual
who was arraigned before him. Il decline to
crafty the morbid curiosity Of the public by
answering that question: responded the
seedy individual with a scornful glance at the
reporter.
After one of the last operations of a cele-
brated surgeon, the resident student stood
looking at the two pieces of mortality lying
on the surgeons table. What are you doing
sir 7" sharply asked the surgeon. Il am wait
ing for you to point out which piece is to be
put to bed and which is to be buried"
An exquisite leading dog by IA string
lounged up to the ticket Office window of a
railway station last week, and inquired ::
Must I-aw-take ticket for puppy Z"
He was naturally both surprised and annoyed
when the ticket seller answered, in a slightly
bewildered tone, after moments reflection :
mo, you can travel MS an ordinary passen-
ger"
Slightly sarcastic was the clergyman who
paused and addressed man coming into
church after the sermon had begun with the
remark "Glad TO see you sir come in al
ways glad to see those here late who can't
come early" and decidedly self-possessed
was the man thus addressed in the presence
of an astonished congregation, as he respond
ed; Thank you; would you favor me with
the text 2"
Nervous gentleman, who has gone West
for his health, disrobing in his room in hotel,
in Idaho sees strange pair of boots under the
bed. Violent and tumultuous bell Enter
| porter. Porter am / in the wrong room
Whose boots are those z" Porter reassuring-
| ly: 'Oh, yes, sir it's all right sir this Is
Your room, sir. Last gentleman slept in this
room, sir, somebody cut his throat sir.
Them's his boots, sir. Ought to have been
took away before, sir. IN take EN- now, sir.
| Gnight, sir" Nervous guest sits up and
hears strange noises all night hair turns
gray before morning, Feels much healthier
when he gets ON the train and starts East
| Explains to the landlord that he likes the eli.
mate, but his mother is alone and he has to
hurry back home.