The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1877-12-06
FACTS AND FANCIES.

THE man who has been looking tor a
sea serpent all summer, has returned, and
Is looking for an oyster in church fair
stew.
NORWICH, Conn, ia determined To do
its share toward rctarding the growth OF
small boys. 1t has made 100000 Toy
pistols this year.
DEAN Swift said that the reason
certain university was fearful place was
that most persons took some learning
there, and but few brought any away
with them, and so it accumulated.
LANDLADY (to a boarder who has
passed his cup six times" You are very
fond OF coffee, Mr.. Smith" Mr.. Smith
=" Yes, ma'am ii looks as if am when
! am willing to swallow no much water
for the sake of getting little"
elbow to tell lady" is described in
fashion exchange. But, pshaw! they
cant tell people anything on that sub
iect. Just take hold of her hand, slip
your arm around her waist, and tell her
in whisper That's the correct way.
DISTINCT sounds, produced at the rate
of twenty.three per second, become a
continuous sound, and the Richmond
newspapers are looking forward 10 the
day when they can speak of the roar OF
the Mofett bell-punch.
WOMEN physicians of reputable stand
ing do well in Philadelphia, two or three
of this character having an annual in
come of from $4,000 to 100000 from
their practice, which is chiefly confined
to ladies' and children.
A YOUNG man in Maine writes to ask
us if we want to engage puzzle
editor" No, thank you. We have
puzzled editor, and that is sufficient.
He is puzzled to find out why in thunder
people don't pay for their papers,
Turner'S Fats Rcportcr.
The way mob acts in one city is no
criterion for mob action in another. II
is much like the lrishman who heard
that the Scotchman's horse had run
away. "Thin, begorra, something must
be done, an l'll go home and lick the
old woman" "
The German daily newspapers are
much smarter than their American
cotemporaries. Nearly every German
paper prints two continued stories, every
day giving column to each. Thus, the
reader, kept forever upon the ragged
| edge of a wild romance, goes on taking
the paper TIL he dies.--Cowier.Jor"al.
EVERYBODY has asked the question,
"Why are the Egyptian obelisks called
needles 2" 1t is stated in explanation
that meselleh is the Arabic word for
needle, as well as for obelisk, and that
the Arabs have from time immemOrial
called the peculiar structures Pha-
raoh's needles" meaning pharaoh's ODE.
lisks.
A CORRESPONDENT writes {" DO you
think it is wicked to smoke m Oh,
dreadfulIy, awlully, sinfully, wicked.
Send your cigars to this Office and let us
burn them up for you, while you swear
off and reform before it is too late. 1t
is already too late for us. We went to
swear off last week, but the office was
closed, and the man had gone to a picnic.
-HuCkeW.
A STORY is told of two New England
deacons between whom bitter feud had
long existed concerning some contested
point. Neither would yield, and the
matter threatened to be handed down to
the next generation, when one day
Deacon Smith appeared before his old
enemy and solemnly said, "Brother
Jones, it is a shame that this quarrel OF
ours should bring scandal upon the
church. | have prayed earnestly for
guidance in the matter, and have come to
the conclusion that you must give in
for ! can not"
One morning, two or three days ago,
says the Dover (Dal.) Sentinel middle
aged man with a sore thumb and look
OF anticipation entered Justice Good
Minis office and softly sat down. Heput
his hat on the floor, sat up very erect,
and for three straight hours hardly
moved finger. AT noon as the justice
was ready to 60, he asked the strange
man If he wanted anything. "Yaw," he
camly answered: "Wcll, what is it 2"
81 WANTS TO see the Shustice." am
the man." replied His Honor. " | thinks
so all der while" said the man, as he sat
down again. "Did you want to see me
on business" asked the puzzled official.
"Yaw" What il your business
what do you want to ask me?' =" |
WANTS to get married" Well, where's
the bride ?" " dOant know about any
prides." "Wherc is the woman you de-
sire to marry" asked His Honor. " |
haf never seen her." was the calm reply.
Well how can | marry you to any
body?' | dean't know" "Where is
the woman ," exclaimed the court. The
man went away, saying: 81 shall get