The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1877-01-04


coiI. Take our word for it.
Motto for the entrance to u ieundlinG
asylum-Thps far and no father.
Some one says "alI men are not home
less" Bat some men are homo less
than others.
If, IS Co, cicoi: eays, i. only costs
81 GO TO be cremate5, almost anybody
can come down with the dust.
at is not good for man to be alone"
says the philosopher OF the Franklin
(Ky.) Patriot. " lie should buy dog"
The fashionable Texas swain always
removes his quid Of tobacco before lick
ing and sealing letter 10 his lady love.
Speaking of ire-escapcs The Bufiolo
Express says the oldest enc on record is
the fond husband who lies abed in the
morning.
There is poem going the rounds
about the "Silent POOL" but il has no
reference TO any Of Mr. MorriSsey's OPP
erations.
ais your voice sophomore ?" inquired
a country music committeeman of a
young lady who applied for position in
the choir.
The modern bookstore is approaching
a degree Of perfection which will require
a competent engineer with a stated sala-
ry TO ran it.
If you are going to educate your son
for the life insurance business, you must
instil in his mind that modesty is not
The best policy.
an editor wishes no bodily harm TO
his subscribers. but be hopes that some
Of them in arrears viii be seized with a
remittcnt fever.
4 Paris paper says "Miss N--has
just taken the veil but she was arrested
tor it. Sho had taken it from n laundry
in the Rue Viyieane."
In carving q turky in the presence Of
strangers it is a breach of etiquette 30
stop more than twice TO spit on your
hands and take It new hold.
Since the New York World began 10
publish 4 column of French jokes, the
Americans have become little more
rcronciled TO their own humcris:s.
Correspondents speak OF the naked
appearance of the Centennial buildings,
though every one has heard of their
close. Why don't they put them on
"fho mule cannot part Its hair behind,
said Mr.. TupTer, leaning his head a liz.
tie 10 one side aud squirting Knowingly,
land hence the inferionty OF the mule
II man"
1t ia poor policy for young man TO
engage himself to u lady late in the fall.
1t IS sometimes happens that the money
which goes for u ring is really needed
for underclothea.
The coBlortions of Hercules wrestling
with tho Nemean lion were as child's
play compared with tho frantic wrig
glngs OF . fat man trying to polish the
Leel Of his left boot.
\ Syracuse man attempted to commit
suicide tho other day by eating two box
es of matches. He was as mad as blaZes
too, whom a doctor brought him to with
a stomach pump.
Railway travel has pretty much ceased
to be enlivened by political debates.
Passengers have as much as they can Go
F, 20 keep from letting in a little fresh air
on the man with cold in his head.
"Tho Mad Mangler, or the Terror of
Murderer's Gulch," is the latest dime
sensation. The hero kills 20 Indians at
one shot, and rescues II beautiful Nor
men girls, all of whom marry in the
ondowment.houso at ono clip.
A Maryland jury lately declared that
a man had come to his death "by an I'M
known wagon" About on a par with
ihis is the Wisconsin verdict respecting
man who had been crushed 10 death in
mill, when the jury remarked, ono
blame car be attached 10 the machine
ny"
Sho was fond Of cUnundrums, and
when she learned that muller was Latin
for women she thought she had "a good
one. She asked husband what was the
difference between herself and a mule.
And as he had been married several
years, he was 30 thoughtful to trouble
her by guessing, but kindly remarked
he had never been able to see any.
When you meet man who comes
down in the morning and kicks the cat
over the table, cuffs Two of the children, (
and remarks that be should think from
the appearance Of the breakfast that the
cook was drunk, do not think harshly OF
him. He is probably the person who
sings "Home, sweet home" SO affecting
y at evening parties.
A gilt-edged and superfine young man
stepped into our barber shop tho other
day to get shaved. The knight of the .
razor eyed him quizzically for a moment
and remarked: You must either take
dswn that shirt collar or wait for a
shave until can borrow a step ladder
About this time when Tie cold winds
whistles around fellows trousers, and
he sAivcrs because he hasn't enough to
buy warm clothes, il won't help him one
biz TO remember that he went 10 the +
Centennial.
The English peasant when he goes 10
London 10 see the sights. takes bis sup
per 10 the theatre anu enjoys yietnals and
tragedy together. About three weeks
4. L.. a