Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1877-11-13
UNION SPECTATOR AND GENERAL ADvERTIsER..
The monograph.

The telephone was justly regarded a.
an Ingenious invention when it was
| first brought before the public, but il
is destined to be entirely eclipsed by
the new invention of the photograph.
The former transmitted sound. The
latter bottles it up for future use. The
telephone can furnish US with Talmage's
sermons drawn directly from the wood,
SO to speak; but, with the aid Of the
photograph, the same sermons can be
stored away in the cellar, to be brought
out wears hence with their tones unim-
paired by age, and their loudest yells as
piercing and pervasive as ever. 1t may
seem improbable that hundred years
hence people will be able to hear the
voice of Wendell Philips in the act OF
delivering an Grafton, but the phOnO-
graph will render it possible to preserve
for any length of time the words and
i tones of any orator. 1t is unnecessary
to explain the mechanical construction
of the photograph, but it may be said
on general terms that if an orator empt-
les his voice into the hopper of a phono-
graph, it will remain silent until some
one sets similar machine in motion,
when the voice will instantly make
itself audible, and will repeat in exact
order the words of its former prOprie-
tor.
It is evident that this invention will
lead to important changes in our social
customs. The lecturer will no longer
require his audience to meet him in a
public hall, but will sell his lectures in
quart bottles at fifty cents each; and the
politician. instead of bowling himself
hoarse on the platform, will have a pint
| Of hi, hocf v,y1f. nfo N hon 10 IF
each one of his constituents. A large
business will, of course, be done in bot
tied sermons, and many weak cOngre-
cations which are unable to pay regu-
lar pastor will content themselves with
publicly opening bottle of "Dr. Tyng,"
''Dr. Crosby,"'or some other popular
ministerial brand, but the practice of
personal preaching will be continued,
since in no other way can weakly OPP
pOrtunlty be afforded to ladies for mu-
| tual bonnet inspection.
Another result Will doubtless bea large
consumption of orators at public dinners
and in the home circle. VIII ether or
nota man has wine-cellar, he will GER
tainly, if he wishes to be regarded as a
man of taste, have well stocked oratO-
rical cellar. In stocking his cellar he
will lay in several dozen of "Bob Inger-
soil" or of "Senator Conkling," espe-
cially the celebrated Rochester vintage
of the latter, for the use of those of his
political friends who require strong stim-
ulants. AS a pleasant and palatable Ia
BILE orator, he will select dry "Mark |
Twain" or possibly "Beecher," al
though the latter has rather too much |
body. "Sparkling Cox" and "Efferves-
cling Fortingham" would be appropriate
for evening parties, and George Will
lam Curtis" would unquestionably be |
very popular as a sweet and not too
stimulating cordial. The connoisseur of
orators will become in time as great a |
bore as the connoisseur of wines. He
will be constantly saying to his guests,
"Try little of that Anna Dickinson
fancy you will admit that it is very
nice, though, perhaps, little too dry |
for an uneducated taste. 1t cost me $4S |
a dozen, and is in fact superior to any
Gail Hamilton now in the Market"
or, II want you to give me your honest |
opinion of that 'Evarts.' got dozen |
of it at a bargain the other day, and / |
f1atter myself that it is genuine thing. |
The medical profession will prescribe
orations instead of alcoholic stimulants,
and persons suffering from physical /
weakness will be told to take half a bot
tie of this or that orator at dinner, and |
wine glassful of Ben Butler before 60
ing to bed."-NeaV York Times.