Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-02-19
THE HONEY BEE.


The honey bee il an infamible bug
gar, suddun in hiz impreshuns and has
ty in hiz conclusions, or end.
Hlz natral disposishun il a warm
cross between red pepper in the pod and
fusil oil, and hiz moral bias il "git out
ov mi way"
They hav long body, divided in the
middle bi waist spot, but their phisi-
kal Importance lays at the terminus of
their suburb, in the shape of a javelin.
This javelin IL alwas loaded and
stands reddy to unload at minnlts
warning, and enters man az still as
thought, az spry as litening, and az full
oph melankolly az the toothache.
Bees never argya case; they settle
awl ov their differences ov opinyun bi
letting their javelin fly, and are az GER
tain tew hit az a mule iz.
This testy kritter lives in congrega-
tions numbering about 10000 souls, but
whether they are male and female ov
conservative, or matched in bonds of
wedlock, or whether they klub together
and keep one wife to save expense,
don't kno nor don't kare. I never ex-
amined their habits mutch. never con-
sidered it helthy, for what would it prof
it man tew kill SO bees and hav the l
hundredth one hit him with his javelin {?
The drones seem alwas bizzy, but
what they are about the Lord only
knows. They don't lay up emmy honey !;
they seem to be bizzy only gist for the
sake of eating all the time they are al
was in az much ov a hurry as tho they
was going for docktor. I suppose this
uneasy would 49,. -s'-~> ~
axeftree onst in "a hours, even if thare
want emmy drones, but drones must be
good for something, but kant think
now what it il. Thare haint been bug
made in vain, nor one that want good
job; thare IL lots ov human drones loaf
ing around blacksmith shops, and cider
mills, all over the country, that don't
seem tew be necessary for emmy thing
but tew beg plug tobacco and swear and
steal water melons, but you let the chol-
era break out once, and then you will
see the wisdom ov having jist sich men
laying around loose-they help count.
Bees are not long lived kant state
jist how long their lives are, but kno,
from lnstinkt and observashun, that en-
ny kritter, be he bug or be he devil who
is mad all the time and stings every
good chance he kan git generally dies
early.
The only way tew git the exact fte-
ing weight ov the bee, is tew let him hit
you with his javelin, and you will be
willing to testify in court that somebody
run a one-tined pitchfork inter yer and
as for grit, will state for the informa.
shun ov those who haven't had chance
tew lay in their vermIn wisdum as free.
ly az hav, that one single bee who feels
well will break up a large camp meet
ing
What the bees do for amusement is
another question kant answer, but
some ov the best readers and heavyest
thinkers among them naturalists say
that they have target excursions and
heave their javelins at the mark; but
don't imbibe this assurshun raw, for
never knew emmy body SO bitter at hear
as the bees are to waste blow.
There is one thing that the bee does
will give him credit for on mi books
he alwas attends tew his own bizzness
and wont allow any boldly else tew at
tend to it, and what he duz he duz well
you never see him altering emmy thing
if they make emmy mistakes it is afte
) dark and it amt seen.
If bees made haff as many blunder
) az the men do, even with their javelins
, everybody would laff at them.
In ending of this essa, will cum teY
a stop by concluding, that if the bee
waz little more pensive, and not S
darned premtory with their javelins
they might be guilty of less wisdum, bu
more charity. But you kant alter bu
nature without splicing it for ennythin
else, emmy more than you kan an ele
plants egg.-Josh Billings.
l