Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1877-12-21
ALL SORTS.
LMitts have cheanened kids.

to's and fro's.
% --Mumps are facetiously called " foot
ball on the neck"
Both the groom and bride wear
weddimg-rings now.
The church choir singers ditty-
1--WE met by chants"
-Horseshocs are made in California
of compressed raw-hide.
"A currency that is useful everywhere
Gents of the ridiculous.
The United States use more postal
cards than any other nation.
What is boys idea of the short
est cut to manhood? A short pipe.
Lifting a long skirt over every cross
ing must tax the feminine muscle.
A travelling dentist has hung out
the startling sign: 18TH pullin."
Short round skirts are gradually
making their way in popularity.
1t takes Imagination to appreciate
a paraphrase on familiar old tune.
A baby has been born in Michigan
with three arms. Its quarrel must be
| just.
The lady who gets new bonnet is
off with the old love and on with the
new.
-" Let us go out to gather autumn
leaves he said; and they went out to-
gether.
"A child's idea of snow-Ripping
open the cloud pillows to let out the
| feathers.
AT his own request, the late Gen.
| n. Is. Forrest was buried in his Confed-
crate uniform.
Blessed is the bachelor pastor, for
he isn't troubled with donation parties.
-BreGkJdst Table. -r...
=" Volatating through the ambient
air'' is an expression used by contom-
! porary. 1t means flying.
Husbands are said to write "W. P.n
in the corner of their letters, which
means Wife permitting"
-" That Banker of Mine'' has the
best run of anything out The edition
rarely stops short of Europe.
The surest way to interest the In
dian in agriculture is to show him that
whisky is made out of corn.
The girls do not like to 90 un-
armed. The young fellows will see
The Burlington Hd,Ck-Eye says that
| the spectacle of a fat man in a helmet
hat is what makes men murderers.
Ambitious ladies can buy an an
cestry and coat-of-arms in New York
for 5000, and dirt cheap at that.
| "A lady in Maine boasts of hair
eight feet and one inch in length, and
that she has refused an offer of $4,000
for it.
80 Artificial Limbs at Reduced
Prices" advertiscs Chicago dealer.
That's right. Down with thigh prices.
Hip! Hip!
Last winters ulsters are being worn
again this winter. A good deal of the
foliage seems to be worn off of them
n. Y Herald.
1t turns out that William G.. Gil
man, now convict in the New York
State Prison, was one of the Grand
Jurors who indicted Case, the convicted
insurance perjurer.
| "A New York court has decided that
a wife has right to ask her husband
| for Il kiss, and if he refuses she can hit
him in the face, and he can't have her
fined for the blow.
-" Would that mine enemy would
write book, was the way one man
thirstcd for revenge. There's shorter
cut than that. Buy his little boy
drum.-BreaktaSt Table.
=" Them pottery things sreal NICE"
said Mrs. Veneering; 'me and my
daughter Maria has got the rage, you
know, and buy all we kin git. But what
on earth is they intended for?''
In the United States Court at Phil
adelphia, in the suit of a colored man
for $500 against the proprietor of a
music hall for refusing him admission,
a verdict was rendered for the defend
ant. ...
There is more gum chewed in Maine
than any other State in the Union
Boston Post. That's an error. Massa-
chews-it Belfast Journal But down
in Maine the misses chew it.-Post
again.
The Detroit Free Press says that
robberies of county treasures have be-
come so numerous in Ohio that citizens
feel like paying their taxes directly to
the robbers, and thus save the expense
of the safes.
=" There is no rule without an ex-
exception, my son." "Oh! isn't there,
pa? A man must always be present
when he is being shaved" +" "My DEAR"
said pa to ma, . hadn't you better send
this child to bed?"
Moonlight is cheaper than kcro-
sene light, but you can't take it into a
parlor and set it on the center table,
and turn it down so it will never be
brought to any practical use, unless it
may be to show the pathway to hem
house.-Fulton Times.
"A young lady, seeking a situation,
was interested in an advertisement for
some one to do light housekeeping. So
she wrote to the advertiser, asking
where the lighthouse was, and if there
was any way of getting to shore on Sun
days.
Out in Western Iowa, few weeks
ago, the body Ofayoung man was found
dead in the woods, but on examination
it was discovered that the deceased
wore a corset, and without moments
deliberation the Coroner's jury brought
in verdict of justifiable homicide. -
HaWk-Eye.
Joseph Cook says that "the inner
most laughter of the soul at itself it
rarely hears more than three times with
out hearing it forever" That is to say,
the subcutaneous cachination of the
Ego at the egoic dilemma conforms to
the old rule-three times and out
Worcester Press.
Young girls meditating suits for
breach of promise will do well TO make
sure of the age of their lovers. Here's
an industrious lad of New York, who
won n girls heart, cut out rich old
lover, and then Tilted her himself, and
now escapes all damages by proving he
wasn't twenty-one when he offered HIM
self.
They come to your back door and
demand hot coffee and mince pie; they
stop you near your home and want
money for lodging; they unfalteringly
pull the front-door bell out of its socket