The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1877-03-21

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Aboriginal Progress. ' . w.
In the Colorado Legislature the 9TH
or day, Mr.. G. w. Wilson, chairman of
the committee on Indian affairs, made
the following report:
Mr.. SPEAKER Your committee on
Indian affairs, to whom was referred
al1matters relating to the native Amer
leans, have considered carefully and
prayerfully all matters so referred land
would respectfully submit the follow
ing report: ..
An impartial and careful examina-
ton into the condition and character
of the Indians, has convinced your
committee that the opinion usually
held by the citizens of the State in re-
gard to the want of adaptability on the
part of the Indians to civilization, is
utterly at variance with the facts of
the case. A visit to the various agen-
cles in the different parts of the State
has been of great service in giving us
a correct idea of the eminent fitness of
the sO.called savages to lead a civilized
life and follow the peaceful pursuit of
the farmer. We found The.old-man-
always.lousy industriously preparing
to raise Cain with The white settlers
next summer, and his young men were
as thoroughly imbued with the idea as
the old bull-doser himself.
Another evidence of the progress of
the savages is seen in the fact that but
very few of the braves take their
whisky straight, but call for little
sour in theirs, or prairie.Oyster, much
after the fashion OF the general asSem
bly, in Denver. The ladies of the tribe,
in consequence of frequent visits to
the white settlements, have acquired
fondness for adjoining their persons,
and array themselves in elegant taste,
in imitation of their white sisters.
We saw several wearing hats made of
huge mushrooms, Ornamented with
feathers, beavers tails, and porcupine
quilts.
The most promising circumstance,
however, which came under the no.
tice of your committee was a social
matter something after the Plymouth
style, in which Old-man.who.gets-
up-on.his-ear took a prominent part.
The lady in the affair is the queenly
and fascinating Observation-Disclosures.
The injured party( husband of the LADY,
p-with-One-eye.Open, stabbed Old
man-who- gets-up-on-h in the bow
els with a sage. brush, after which a
compromise was entered into by which
Sleep-with- one. eye.Open came out one
Kyuse pony ahead, an example of the
simple settlement of the affair which
might proitably be followed by the
whites in similar cases, thereby saving
much trouble and expensive litigation.
Your committee would suggest that
the whisky faster to be appointed in
Pursuance Of the provisions of II. B.
No. "a, shall also be made special In
dian commissioner for the State, to
have general supervision of the moral
and spiritual welfare of the savages,
and that the bill be so amended as to
make it the duty of the faster to ship
all whisky condemned by him to
different agencies, thereby causing the
savages to bless the legislature. We
moreover would most earnestly urge
on this house this latter recommends
ton, as it is about the last run of shad
for blessing on this outfit.
Your committee would also recon-
mend that each Indian family be fur
nished with a sausage machine to IA
ciliate the preparation of dogs for
the table. AS the women of the tribe
are somewhat lacking in the culinary
art. your committee would further
recommend that the ladies of the tribe
be instructed in the art of making
mince pies after the Cheyenne model,
70 Sc q nf no
backed by eminent medical authority.
that it is barely possible that some
few Indians might even survive after
drinking whisky condemned by Colo
RADIO Office holder, but it is certain that
the whisky and pies taken together
would have the effect of producing a
cross-lift on the digestive organs that
no Indian could withstand, and by this
means the entire race can be gathered
to their fathers in the happy hunt
ing grounds during the following sum-
mer.
Your committee would also recon-
mend that the members Of this house
exert their influence to secure the ap-
pointment OF the chairman to the Office
of State whisky-taster.
YOUNG-MAN-AFRA1D -OFT!IE-SQUAWS,
Chairman of the Committee on Indian
Affairs.
Chinese Shower of GrasshOppeTs.
saw sight the other day that put
me in mind of that fair State, Mime
sofa, viz, a flight of grasshOppers. OR
rather locusts, only they look far more
like the latter. as we see them at home.
They began to rise about ten miles off.
and resembled a dense column Of