The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1877-06-30
VARIETY

st. Louis Times: The mutual destruction OF
Cossacks and Bashi-Bazouks is as holy a war as
anybody need ask for.
Boston Post: Another grove of giant trees
has been discovered in California, some of whose
members were growing before Jonah served in
the humble capacity OF an emetic.
The St. Louis Republican, of a recent date,
contained this notice 10 Poets-We must
hereafter insist on brevity. Hold your inspira-
ton in as long as possible. Once a week, as a
general thing, is too often to write a poem.
the faculty of being at home in the best society,"
said q fashionable aunt to an honest nephew.
81 manage that easily enough" rejoined the
nephew, by staying at home with my wife
and children"
The Baptists have had a trying time in trans
lating the Bible into Japanese. They determin-
ed that there should be no ambiguity about the
doctrine of immersion. Our version reads, IKE
pent and be baptized, and for centuries we have
been bothered to find out exactly what baptism
means, and how much water is required in the
service. In the japanese Bible the matter is put
beyond a doubt. 1t reads. Repent and be
soaked BY this sbrewd stratagem the Baptists
have got the theological lead, the light of way,
SO to speak, in Japan.
STOPPING NEwsPAPERS.-A certain man hit his
toes against a rock and fell headlong to the
ground. lie was VeAeu, auu uuuer tue lnuuenCS
of anger and self-suficiency, he kicked mother
earth right saucily. With imperturbable gravity
he looked to see the earth dissolve and come to
naught. But the earth remains and only his
poor foot was injured in the encounter. This is
the way of man. An article in q newspaper
touches him in a weak spot and straightway he
sends to stop his paper. With great self-com-
placency he looks to see the crash when the OBJ
trct of his spleen shall cease TO be. Poor fool!
he has only hit his toes against a world that does
-.-,o-Athlu fool rho shOnk and Iniuraa No ono
himself.
.eyeral hundred night-editors have heard with
groan that the Poles are thinking of taking q
nand in the European unpleasantness. That is all
that is needed to complete the confusion. Just
fancy that, while Tootrokoplts Pasha is holding
the line of the Xcsvlw river, from Tchignuy to
the Servian frontier opposite Sehumokl, his
antagonist, General Observation-Disclosures, who is
confronting him with his regiments of Petropaul-
ovski and Ekaterinoslay, and awaiting REINFORCE
menGs being brought up from PlOOkti by Colonel
Nicholas Nicholaieffovitch is taken in flank by
an army of Polish Insurgents led by Prince
Observation-Disclosures, Count Crlnmicslavtezzin-
nigszinski, and the veteran General and hero of
1913, Misczwyzes!
Philadelphia Bulletin a man in Wisconsin
has applied for a divorce, on the ground that bis
wife married him under false pretences. He
says she told him while he was addressing her
that she could hoe an acre OF potatoes and split
two cords of wood between breakfast and dinner;
and she had proved herselfa fearful fraud, be-
cause she could only split half a cord of wood
and hoe three times across the field. 1t seems
hard that men are continually to be made the
victims of these designing women. Why will
wives trifie in this manner with the tenderest af-
fections of their husbands? Why will they
shatter their heart-stringsf How much happier
would have been the home of this Wisconsin
woman had she emulated the example of the
Shoshome squaw One of them goes out and
> digs turnips all day, and then wheels them home
at night in a pnsh-cart, while her self-sacrifcing
husband, in the depth of his unspeakatle love,
sits on the front door-steps smoking Lone Jack
tobacco, and meditating upon the number of
drinks of pyrOtechnical rum he can put in his
jug with the money he gets when he sells that
squaw.