Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1877-03-06
HOW TREY DO 1T.

Ger, stationed in Dakota, gives such lucid
insight into the workings of Iudian Affairs in
the West, that We take from it the following
extract:
Captain - Of the Army. who has been
acting temporarily ss Iodisn Agent at Stand.
ing Rock Agency, has discovered. hv enuhts
lug aud rseounting the indians. that instsah
Of 600 indians (repor;ed by the ta,s ASsnt,
Burke as then to be fed). there are only
about 2,7OO Indisns, all told. Nov what be.
comes of the provisions for 4.800 Indians
which were bought and shipped there, 1000
miles or more from Chicago. at a terrible ex-
pense each year. OF course Agent Burke
delivered them and issued them to his Myth
ical Indians in Ais sleep; but when he awoks
he must have fed ali those ratious to his pigs
ahem! What is the reason Indian Agencies
are So mrch sought alter Oought after y
They seldom exceed 81 900 salary. There
must DO perquisires somewhere. Now, might
it not be possible that every agency Is more
or less tainted with defective mathematical
skill, or that they see double or treble, aud
connt Indians twieo or three times when
making their rcquisitions for ratiops Then.
you know, Agents are very much given TO is>
suing an excessive amount to the poor Indian
on ration days. That is. If the lpdisn is on.
titled to draw 40 Tbs "f -four so lbs of meat,
&c, the Agents clerks striker" will put
a smaller weigh. on the end of the scales
pendant $50 as TO be easy on the poor lndian.)
OF course the AgeEt duu's know anything Of
all this AT the end of the quarter the Agent,
Agents Clerk and Striker, take stock:
No OF Indians on hand. 1000
No of Ra.ions issued, $3.50 for 90 days.
Balance on hand, 1850 for 30 days.
Unsophisticated Clcrk.-"Major (AgeaD
shall place this 90 times 4,TT50 rstiops TO
the credit of Uncle Sam p Agens-"HOly
| Moses! Mani Where did you come from
',are and tret -"
A good story is told of DR.. W. In 1860,
Dr. w. threw the weight of his influence in
Kittaning District in Pennsylvania, for Hon
eat John Couch for Congress. for which
Honest John secured the Doctor an Indian
Agency, as the best he could do. The war
going on, the Indians were neglected and
Agents ran the thiug TO suit themselves.
However. the appeals from the Sioux, for
which the Doctor was Agent, became 20
urgent, that tho Interior Department sent .
commission, of three prominently honest men,
to investigate matters with the Doctor. The
Doctor got wind of their coming and knew
welI that many and fearful would be the tales
when it came. Tho Doctor proguosticated
These gentlemen are "too old TO use many in>
terpreter, but III pest him any how, to start
with. He'll interpret like trump; so that's
all fixed. Now the only other interpreter
around hero is Buffalo joel" I'll FIX Joe.
Joe zee herel'
"Wcll. Doctor y
Joe. hero's $50. if you'll do what want
you to d.. I'll. this Go to Yauktcn. get in
the stage with these commissioners coming
up here to the Agency watch your opportun-
ity, tell them you dOUt know any thing about
this Agency, that you hsvs only been at il
once or twice and that. you have lived with
the Sioux on the upper river for 30 yesrs;
sud, have bsen an interpreter for 20 years;
and then. when (as they will certainly do)
they ask you to act as Interpreter for them,
consent after some reluctance. sad letting
them know you are in hurry to go on up
the river Then Of course you interpret ao-
cordiug to the Agents Lexicon"
ON do it. Doctor and it it ain't done
right. don't give me that $50"
Jre's at Yankton. The commission arrive.
They take three seats in the stage. Joe's the
| fourth. joe gabbles Sioux to every Indian.
| as they psss along. To the surprise and
qualification of the commissioners, they hnd
tho very mao they Want-thst they have boen
talking sbout-in the stage with them; reg
uIsr God send that this Interpreter should
have inst hspp.nsd in the stsge with them.
! Al good round sum Joe is engaged by tho
commission. The Doctors Agency ia soon
! reached The commissioners are received by
tn. Doctor with great courtesy and respect.
Every thing is dOno to please Cfested aud
fea.ted.)
Our worthy Commissioners, to one another.
The Doctor is very kind very seductive
bot We must do our duty, unpleasant ss 10
may prove, and get out Of this. Joe, BIsok
Eagle. White E.gle. Blus Eagle. aDd Man
Afraid of q Cow. and White Buffalo, and the
other chiefs are called and the Doctors TO-
terpreter as well rs Joe" take their stand
between the commissioners and chiefs.
Question by commissioners to principal
chief
Joe.-"How do Jou like your Agent Cths
Doctor ?'')
Chief, 10 Sioux l.ugu,ge.-"A bad man
cheats poor Indian, dOu't give him enough
rations." &c, &c.
Interpreter (Joe)-"Be,. Agent We have
ever had ell these reports sent 10 Washing
ton from b,d designing men"
Through Interpreter Jo)
-"W ouid you like to bave him changed ?"
Chief-''oh yes, give Us anybody, bui
take him away"
Interpreter (Joe)-"WouId nos have him
Changed for any thing 10 the rorld-bsst
mao we ever had" &c, &c.
Thus went ON the investigation, Of which
the commission made the most fattering and
complimentary report TO the authorities st
Washington and the Doctor remsined. Joe
got his fec from the commissioners, and his
$50. from the Doctor. The Doctor went