Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1877-06-07

There came change, sudden as it was
alarming. The heart began to throb. The
heart beat in unison. felt its deep pulsa-
ton; | heard its deep, heavy thud against
my breast. This | say [ heard, for it was
part of myself. No other sound outside
of my own person could have reached me
there. l felt pain in my head and brain
not an ordinary pang, but one that
| struck at the base of reason. Death was
coming! Welcomed And | laughed the
wild, unmeaning laugh of the maniac.
And yet was not mad, but so near to it,
| that had not reason told me it was ap-
preaching apoplexy, l would have been
raving. Welcome apoplexy! 1t, how
| ever, came not. / rolled over and over in
my limited cell; screamed; yelled and
shouted for help and yet all the while |
was perfectly conscious of what | was
doing. Death was playing with me! |
| prayed, too, but did not curse. No, no !;
| for if | am to die-thus | reasoned-let
me die in peace with God. These thoughts,
the result of my early religious educa-
ton, kept my soul intact with Him who
had the best right to it.
| endeavored to be calm, strived to rea-
son myself into patience and wait the
coming day. Day alas! what to me was
day? For here all was night. But reason
failed. 1t had no argument to confute
facts. Death was here and | had to meet
| it. But how? Alas! alasl that mystery
was yet to be solved. All was so still-so
silent-that my faculties were benumbed.
| remember wondering if the voice of the
Deity could be heard in that dreadful
place. Was this blasphemy? Perhaps it
was; but was not then accountable for
either my words or actions. | was, for
the moment, mad!
l took off my coat and made pillow of
it. Sleep! Oh! if could only sleep, and,
in forgetf illness, escape the horrors of my
waking moments. Sleep was impossible.
There was constant buZzing in my ears,
acute pains in my head-a vertigo that
drove me again to my feet, and | reeled
round the limited space in whirligig for
life. | struck my head against the side
of the safe. | felt no pain, for there was
madness in my acts, with just sufficient
reason to add to the horrors of my situa-
ton. What could [ do now but rave and
yell, calling for help, well knowing there
was no help at hand! Why didmy senses
remain to torture me thus? Why not go
mad and commit some fearful act to end
my misery? Because / was in the hands
of One who had issued his canon against
the crime of self-slaughter. [ trusted to
Him. | started to my feet. My head
struck the top of the safe, and [ was
dashed back again to the floor. Again l
shouted, again | laid fiat ON my face and
called on death to come and end my
woes. The shout was echoed in low,
mumbling sounds, then died away, leav-
ing the silence tenfold greater. Like the
darkness preceding some great shock of
Nature, its intenseness could be felt. |
felt it-felt it i'll my heartfelt it on my
brain-it was pressing me to death.
Had | nothing else to think of but my
self? Reader, have given my own men,
tai and physical sutferings while en-
tOmbed. | was not selfish, even when |
analyzed my own feelings, and seemingly
forgot others outside of my tomb. What,
describe other sensations-sensations that
sprung from pictures | could not bring
my mind to contemplate? Pictures of
home-of wife and children-friends-
these seemed, in my state, as only adding
to my mysery, for L was doomed, and they
were for the time being happy. 1 kept
those pictures back.
| even magnifed my suffering so that
memory might be silent. [ could not
contemplate, in my excitement, two dis
tinct events. [ therefore settled all my
thoughts, fixed all my energies, on one
object-selfp preservation. l would strive
to Twelve for those who were even now
wondering why / was not with them.
Reader, | strove as hard to forget wife
and children and friends as 1 did to mas
ter my dread of the horrible death await
ing nae. Understand me. No one, placed
as was, could think of the past, present
or future with any degree of calmness.
The reasoning faculties succumbed to
physical excitement; they became antag-
onistic, and, although [ endeavored TO
separate the two, | became more confused.
] could think of nothing but my position
Beyond that, if / attempted to go, fore
saw madness. So, to avoid all that, I
centered all my thoughts on one purpose
self-preservatiOn To accomplish this,
could not, even in thought, go beyond my
prison-house. Why pruceed-why even
attempt TO describe the sufferings under
went? l raved, [ screeched, | fell on the
floor, rose again, reeled in maddening
fury around my living tomb. | even
meditated self-destruction. | Was mad,
then. | argued the point with death.
quoted authorities to prove that suicide
was justifiable in some cases, and mine
was case in point. My mind, weakened
as it was, hesitated to grasp at this mode
OF ending life, and there came up at that
moment small, child-like voice, saying
Hope-hope on'' Was it a voice, or
was it merely Imagination coni1ring up
sounds to soothe me? Hopper" | started ;
a new light seemed to enter my soul, and
illuminate the Cimmerian darkness sur
rounding me. The reaction caused by
the strange phenomena was too much for
my strength. lost all consciousness, and
fell as if dead.
How long lay thus had no knowl-
edge; when / came to myself it was to
hear dull sound as if some one was
striking the safe. Was help at hand ?
Then came a grating sound-then a
shock-then came louder sound, as if
from the explosion of gunpowder-a
flash, as of lightning. 1t came into the
safe, and, for an instant, the whole space
was illuminated. What could it mean ?
Was it dream? MOI no!-reality! The
sate-door was thrown open, and, as |
rolled out on the floor of the counting
house l again became unconscious.
When l came to my senses / was sur
rounded by four herce-looking men-one
was bathing my head, while another was
holding me in his arms What could it
mean? / was saved. But how, and by
whom?
They were burglars who came for the
purpose of plumber. They told me so
and, instead of money, they found what
they took to be a corpse They stood
apart whispered-seemedt to hesitate how
to act. The safe was opened; the owner
was there at their mercy Weak as | was,
| at once discovered the cause OF their hes
itation.
lyon came - said ssto rob mo inStaa 4