Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1877-09-29
The Mule.


The mule is the only animal that |
Noah didn't take into the ark with 1
him. 1 have looked over the freight |
list carefully, and could not see a /
mule way-billed for any place. So
clear-headed man as Noah did not |
dare to take one on board, as he knew
he would kick a hole through her
in less than week. / don't know
a man on whose head you could
pour quicksilver and run less risk of
its splitting off than on NOah's. He
was a dreadful level-headed man,
and before the freShet was over
everybody on earth realized the fact.
The origin of the mule 81 enVel-
Oped in a good deal of mystery.
Tradition informs US that when the
flood had subsidized, and the ark had
laid on Mount Ararat, Noah was
very much surprised in one of his
observations to find good healthy
mule standing on the top of an adj
Joining mountain. The same tradi-
ton informs us that the mule is the
only animal that lived through the
flood outside the ark.
The mule can be considered in
good many ways, though the worst
place to consider him is directly
from behind, anywhere within a
radius of ten feet. never consider
a mule from that point unless l am
looking out through the tlue of a
boiler.
The word mule comes from the
Greek, and signifies "tO STOP" and
the mule himself comes to a stop
also. Like multiplied by like pro-
duces like. GrasshOppers multiplied
by grasshOppers produce a famine
and potato bugs multiplied by pOta-
to bugs produce a rise in the price of
yeast. But when you try to multi
ply mules they don't multiply, and
hence the word mule. You may
study your arithemetic, and read
through all of Trains lecturers, but
YOU can't discover why that is so
any more than you can why a
woman can't put on rubber with
out leaning up against something.
The mule has one more leg than a
milking stool, and he can stand on
one and wave the other three round
in as many directions. He has only
three senses, hearing, seeing and
smelling. He has no more sense of
taste than a stone jug, and will eat
anything that contains nutriment,
and he don't care two cents whether
it be one per cent or ninety-nine. All
he asks is to pass him along his plate,
with whatever happens to be handy
round the pantry, and he won't go
away and blow how poor the stake
is. He Just eats whatever is set be-
fore him and asks no questions.
If l were to have a large picture
of innocence to hang up in my par
Tor, and ! did not wish to sit for it
myself, / should get a correct like
ness of Il mule. There is innocence
enough depicted in a mules cOunte-
nance to fit out a Sunday-schOOl
class. 1t looks guileless as an angle
worm.
\ mule never grows old or dies.
Once brought into existence he con-
tinueS on forever. The original mule
is now alive somewhere in the South,
and is named Robert TOOmbs, be-
cause he is so stubborn.
Mules are chiefly found in the
South and West. They have been
more abused than Judas Iscariot.
a boy who would not throw a stone
ut a mule when he got chance
would be consider by his parents
too mean to raise.
The mule is a good worker but he
cannot be depended on. He is liable
to strike, and when a mule strikes
human calculations fails to find out
any rule by which to reckon when
he will 90 To work again. 1t is USE
less to pound him, for he will stand
more beating than a sitting-rOOm
carpet. He has been known to stand /
eleven days in one spot, apparently |
thinking of something, and then |
start off again rs though nothing |
had happened.
have been through the New York /
Stock Exchange, and spent part of a /
day in boiler factory, and have /
been on one or two Sunday-schOOl /
excursions for children, but | never /
knew what noise was till | heard a /
lot of army mules bray.
l never owned mule. | came /
near buying one once. He was a /
fine looking animal; his ears stood /
up like the side spires on an EpiscO- /
pal church. His tail was trimmed T.
down 50 that it looked like a tar f.
brush leaning up against him. He F.
= looked all innocence though he was, /
in no sense. The owner sat in the /
wagon, with his chin resting on his /
hand and his elbow resting on his |
knee. In the other hand he held a
stick with brad on the end of it. l |
examined the mule and asked the
man few questions, and out of
mere form inquired if the mule was
kind, or if he kicked. Kind ? |
Kick?n said the man, and these !
were the last words he uttered. He
reached his stick over the front of
the wagon, and stuck the brad into !
that mule. 1t was awful to see a
man snuffed out as quickly as he
was. 1t almost took my breath he
went so suddenly. / never saw the
thread of life snap so suddenly as it
did on that occasion. He didn't
have time to leave message for his
family. That mule simply ducked
his head, and then a pair of heels
flew out behind there was crash,
n fiving OF splinters, and that was
all: and the next moment that
mule and / stood alone, my face
covered with establishment two feet
deem. and his covered with part OF
N ia bride. The next day 4 read
an account i'm the telegraphic news
~ !. shower or flesh in hentuckg-
4 was the only man that could ex-
plain that phenomenon, and ana not