The Van Buren press. [volume] (Van Buren, Ark.) 1859-1914, 1877-10-23
interrupted Table Talk.

The other evening. SAYS the Burlingto
Free Press. the Rev. Mr. Phlacter sa
down at the tea.table with very thought
full air, and attended to the wants of hi
brood n very distracted manner, Pres
entity he looked up at bis wife aud he
said;
"The Apostle Paul
"Gotan awful lump on the head s'after
noon,' broke in the pastors eldest son
"playing base ball Bat flew out Of Tho
strikers hands when was umpire, anc
cracked me right above the ear and drop
ped me. Hurt? Golly' and the lad
shook his head in dismal but expressive
pantominc rs he tenderly rubbed lumr
that looked like billiard ball with hair
on it The pastor grayely paused for the
interruption, and resumed
"Thc Apostle Paul
"Saw Mrs O'Gehiminc down at Green
baum's this afternoon said his eldest
daughter, addressing her mother. "She
had the same old everlasting black silk,
made over with a vest of tilleni green silk
coat tail basque pattern, ovcrsklrt made
with diagonal folds in front, edged with
deep fringe; yellow straw hat, with black
velvet facing inside of the brim, and pale
blue flowers, she's going o,Chicago."
The good minister waited patiently and
in tones just shade louder than before,
said
"The Apostle Paul. -
b"Went in swimmin' last night with Bob
and Henry, pop, and stepped on a clam
SHE'LL exclaimed his youngest son "cut
my foot so | can't wear my shoe; and,
please. can't | stay home morrow"
Tile pastor informed his son that he
might stay away from the river, and then
resumed his topic, He said;
"The Apostle Paul says
my teacher is M awful liar shouted
the second son; "He says the world is as
round ms an orange, and it turns round all
the time faster than circus man can ride.
Iguess he hain't got much sense"
The mother lifted a warning finger to.
ward the boy and said Ssh p and the
father resumed.
The Apostle Paul says
"Don't bite Off twice MS much MS you
can Chew broke ont the the eldest son,
reproving the assault of his little brother
on a piece OF cake.
The pastors face showed just trae
of annoyance as he said in very firm, de
cided tones:
"The Apostle Paul says
"Thcrc's fly in the butter = shrieked
the youngest hopeful in the family, and
general laugh followed. When silence
was restored the eldest daughter, with an
air of curiosity said:
swell, but, pa, l really would like to
know what the Apostle Paul said"
"Pass to me the mustard, said the pas
tor absently.
Then the committee rose and the senate
went into executive session, and soon af
ter adjourned.
To RIP Dec OF FLEAs.-Wash him
thoroughly with common soft soap, such
as they use aboard ships; or place him on
a newspaper and rub Persian insect pow
der well over him, and the ileas will drop
out on the paper and die almost imme
diately. This method is also effective
wite cats.
II has leaked out that after Hayes kiss
ed Mortcn he made similar advances
toward Ben Butler, but he drew back ex-
claiming: "Remember, sir, am . wild
ow." Cincinnati Gazette.
Following is Northrord's snake story.
"Not long ago very large water snake
was killed near the shores of the reser
voir The one that bruised the serpcnt's
head" found thirty-dve we'll developed
active young snakes inside her. No
doubt she was making for land to give
the young ones run on shore for we
do not doubt now that the young ser
penis 60 out and in at the mothers
mouth"
The time approaches when the prevail
ing young woman shall discover that she
young man to pilot her through the path
less forest.
Among the novelties Of the coming
Paris exhibition will be youth of four
teen With feet shaped precisely like his
hands. He can use them for the same
purpose, and plays upon the piano with
both hands and feet, having peculiar
chair which enables him to curl his body
into the necessary position. He is a
very good performer, and speaks both
English and German. His French is ye,
imperfect.
A young man woke ub The other night
and sswa Oh ,st in his room. SEEING
his six shooter he approached it, and
found it was his collar, which happeded
to be standing on the floor
A man in Evansville, n Y, lately slight
ly wounded his band with nail, and then
washed the blood of with water in pail
IN which there CHANGED to be scrapings OF
wall paper. Soon after his hand COM
mensed swelling, gangrone set in, and he
died.
A Chicago fashionable clergyman has
failed. Liabilities, $4,000; assets,
twenty two pairs Of worked slippers, as
sorted sizes, thirteen dressing gowns thir-
~ pen wipers. two dozen fancy pin-cush.
ions. nine watch pockets ana seven cush-
ions for easy chairs.
The proposed amendment to the con-
stitution of Colorado, conteriug the right
Of suffrage upon women, was defeated in