Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1877-06-01
schools. But how can the best tai
ent be drawn to the country schools
and retained there?
Gleanings.

The man who had project on foot
went to a corn doctor.
At a recent spelling-match, one man
spelt it 'pasnip." and got beet.
A Concord IN. c. man tried long
time to open the first postal card he ever
received
Why should it be easy to break into an
old mans house? Because his gait IS
broken and his locks are few.
1t has been found that in nearly every
civilized country the tree that bears the
most fruit for market Is the axle-tree.
Poor Tweed! they've even denied him
stay. But of corsets all right, you
know
If this inundaton in Paris keeps on.
we fear half the people will be in-Scine. u
Why is fishmonger opening his shop
in very illiberal mind? Because he
does it with selfish (sell-fish) motive.
Mexico is a lazy country but the sight
of a drove of Texas cattle will fill Mex
ican with the enterprise of fruit-tree
peddler.
The Pittsburg Commercial asks, "Quis
custodiet custodes3" Clymer; but we
don't know whether he Gust odiet or
odcs.
"That was very greedy of you, Tom
my, to eat your little sisters share OF
cake!" "You told me, ma, l was always
to take her part" said Tommy
When two women in family are try
ing TO tell the same thing at the same time,it
is an auspicious opportunity for the men
folks to vanish
When that limited mail train on the
Pennsylvania Central Railroad went over
bank the other day wasn't it going be-
yond its limits?
s'Do they ever bark?" asked old Mrs.
Dorkins, gazing at pair of stuffed sea
dogs IN the museum. sNo num-" said
Elnathan, mot now their bark is on the
sea-"
'What is a conscience?" asked school
master of his class. can inward moni
tor" replied a bright little fellow "AnGa
what's MONITOR" Zone OF the iron
clads ="
"Don't you think, said husband in a
mild form of rebuke to his wife "that
women are possessed by the deT?
are "Yes,a IS. was was the answer "as soon NV
George Francis Train is getting ready
to start a newspaper at Sioux City. His
name has been sterestyped five thousand
times TO save "fat" for the compositors>
4 While an Iowa woman was struggling
in the water, and likely to drown, her
husband yelled out: "New bonnet
swim for lifel" and she kicked cut e,,ea
safely reached the shore.
A Boston scientific sciologist, and az
that, says man eats most when he Is
alone. With nobody in the house with
the diner 1t is little surprising to see
how he will play lone hand.
1 clasped her fair hand in rapture of bliss,
And thought oh, how blessed our fates!
Till looked on the gloves encircling her wrist
And found that, alas! they were "eights."
The harbingers of Spring robins and
Italian organ n-grinders-have arrived, ana.
are caroling their lays The lay of the
former is eggs, and the latter is getting ef
stamps.
! A wag, upon visiting a medical muse
um, was shown some dwarfs and speei
mems of mortality all preserved in alco7
hol. "Well, said he, II never thought
the dead could be in such spirits"
"Mme Titiens," says the Boston Post,
"spells her name with a e." We don't
exactly see how she can do that as lon.
as she keeps her two 'i's" about her.
At little gathering the other evening
somebody asked man if he was fond of
opera. He said he was, passionatelyS
He always liked that part where the lady
rides around and jumps through the
hoops.
A doctor attending punster who wa
very ill, apalogized for being late one day
by saying that he had to stop to see,
man who had fallen down we'll. "Df
he kick the bucket, doctor?" groaned tn
punster.
A constable at the Liverpool Poiico
Court described Il prisoner as "prelatf
drunk" He meant 'paralytically'
drunk. The magistrate cautioned hl
against any further reflections upon I'll
bench of bishops.
Get Brooklyn girl thoroughly i6aa
and the fruits of careful religious traia1
ing are not conspicuous in the fury VIII
which she unships her hustle and wreei
it over the head of her adversary.
"How would you make a beheverI
an incredulous MANI" asked one &C.
man of another not long since. ~ thlI
the surest way would be to set him x
a beehive" was the reply; land l calei
late that after he'd been stung once
twice he would become bee-ledref
earnest"
'No bub, we can't remember the nan
of the father who first invented the
of leading his son to expect a pail
skates at Christmas, and then filled
stockings with five cents worth of po
corn
Little four-year-old playing with
dolls" Now, you lay there, my de-
and you lay there" Mother"
Edie, you know that isn't right
should say lie." "Oh, ne. mamms
playing they were chickens" M
An old author quantity remarks
" Avoid arguments with ladies. In sp
ming yarns among silks and satins, q "
is sure to be worsted and twisted:
when man is worsted and twisted heS
consider himself wound up" x
The boy at the head of the class y
state what were the dark ages Oh
world" Boy hesitates. Next; Mas
Biggs, can you tell me what the as
ages were?" 81 guess they were
ages before spectacles were invented.
go to your seats!'
We had supposed that the noble Rom
OF modern times was slightly given
exaggeration, it is true; but we were
tie prepared for the official statement IN
there is a surplus of 10000, 600 lires
the Eternal City.
when" he said violently, "wheih
you going to pay me that little bill.
dunned you until I'm tired and mad
Now, want a positive answer -wh
will you pay it?" by Jove !" was
reply, "you must take me for proph
How can tell
A Chicago doctor says that supersti
often kills people who are otherwis
for long life. That may be
what is q fellow to do when his ri