Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1877-10-10
Churchyard Curiositles.

Mr.. Farley, in his "Epitaphiansp
gives us the following, which he
found recorded sin memOriam' Of
an avaricious man:
At rest beneath this churchyard stone
Lies stingy Jenny Wyatt;
He died one morning just at ten, and
Saved dinner by it.
We cannot help the inquiry as to
how the survivors can have permit
ted such an inscription to appear on
their relatives OF friends mOnu.
ment. Perhaps in some cases the
feeling which was so strong Ia q
former time that there ought TO be
a stone at the head of the sleeping
dust, may in many instances have
been combined with keen sense of
Justice, which induced these critics
to tell the truth about the departed.
The literary skill was sometimes
sorelv tried, aud in an emergency
creative genius had TO do her utmost
to tide over the difficulty. Hence
from Bideford churchyard:
The wetlding-day appointed was,
And wedding clothes provided;
But ere that day did come, alas!
He sickened, and he-die did.
There is something tenderly and
touchingly simple and beautiful
about the-next quotation from the
book, even a slight indication Of
what has sometimes been called
genius:
Life is an inn upon market-day;
Some short -pursed pilgrims breakfast and
away;
Some do to dinner stay, aud get full fed,
| And others after supper steal to bed.
Large are the bills who linger out the day;
The shortest stsyers have the least to pay.
There is q commendable ability
displayed in the terse biography
which we sometimes find in the cpl.
taph. The life Of man, as to it's
outer circumstances, has often been
written OH his tombstone. The fol-
lowing is not bad OH country sex
tou:
Here lies old Hare, worn out with care,
Who whilom tolled the bell;
Could dig a grave, or set stave,
And say Amen, full well.
For sacred songs he'd Sternholds tongue,
And Hopkins exc also;
With cough and hem he stood by them
As far as lungs would 60
MANY a feast for worms he dresf,
Himself then wanting bread;
But, 10! he's gone, with skin aud bone,
To starvc 'em now he's dead.
Here take this spade, and use his trade,
Since he is ont of breath;
Cover the bones of him who once
Wrought journey-work for death.
A Mr.. Dickson, one Provost Of
: Dundee, left, by his will, the sum OF
' one guinea to compose an epitapt
for him. The executors, three III
number, not liking to give the guines
to any person who might hit upon O
! few suitable lines, determined tC
keep the guinea for themselves, by
writing each of them line:
First-Here lies Dickson, Provost of Dun
dee
Second-Hcrc lies Dickson, here lies he.
The third was not put to it for q loDi
? time, but under pressure OF the de
sire for his share Of the guinea
, bawled out vociierously his propose
for the third line:
+. MISUNDERSTANDING
4 On a lawyer and his client:
r God works wonders now aud then;
a Here lies lawyer, and an honest man.
u But an answer came to it in tn
,, following form:
u This is mere law qaiblae, not wonder
II Here lies lawyer, and his client under.
a The next which we append cOul
l. hardly be-expccted TO bc compose
!. out Of Ireland. 1t is, accordingl.
q to be found Oh a tombstone In tia
i country:
'. Here lies the body Of John Mound,
III Lost at sea and never found.
g The next, from a cemetery in Ci
!" cinnati, must have been N blund'
= of the tetter.cutter, a case OF tran
; position which was thought not
u matter, since the reader would p
e e, it straight:
40 who came to this city aud died
O. For the benefit Of his health.
ne Patrick O'Bfien was one d'
~ strolling with a friend through
~ graveyard, when his eye was arre'
no ed by AN epitaph which shocked
10 sense of propriety aud veracity.
ran thus:
Weep not for me, my children dear,
ur am not dead, but sloeping here.
vh llNE eli y .o;J DADDY ssif I waa dies