The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1877-09-27
WIT AND HUMOR.
The middle ages-Averages.

IHE MIDDLE ages-AVerageS.
The question of the hour-What time
is it?
BRIGHAM YOUNG was killed by too
much corn. He would have been
good subject for Bunyan.
SALT LAKE CITY just at present re-
minds one of Wall street speculation;
there's no great prophet in it.
WHEN man is making love to widow
he always feels as if he had to begin
where the other fellow left off.
GA SPECIAL dispatch to the Paris pa
pers report that the Gar is ILL.," Indi-
gestion probably; little too much Tur-
key.
"WHAT is the interior of Africa prin-
cipally used for?" asked teacher of a
pupil. "For purposes Of exploration, "
was the reply.
JOHNNIE lost his knife. After search
ing in one pocket and another until he
had been through all without success, he
exclaimed: "Oh, dear I wish Ihad an
other pocket, it might be in that!'
A REPORTER for a Wisconsin paper
writes "Those who personally knew
our esteemed fellow-citizen, Col. -,
will regret to hear that he was brutality
assaulted last evening, but not killed"
In most places ga stones throw"
"fve minutes walk" etc., are used for
measures of short distances. In Du-
buque, however, they speak of a place
as being /" within the bawl of a mule. F."
IT makes boy heart-sick as the win
ter's wood begins to loom up in steadily
growing piles in the back yard, and he
sees his mother making preparations for
organizing him into "workingman's
party"
GovEBNEss- "Do you know, Ernest,
that I heard of little boy not older
than you who can read and write well,
and who has begun Latin?'' Ernest
sob, I say, what jolly good teacher
he must have !"
"MUsING on the infinite, Ell % said a
facetious chap to melancholy looking
individual who was walking along the
roadside with bowed head and serious
countenance. "Well, yes; same thing
thinking of my debts"
A GOOD little boy who was kicked by
mule did not say naughty words or go
home crying to his mother. He just tied
the mule within five feet of beehive,
backed him round to it, and let him
kick. Richmond Dispatch.
A ROMAN who recently returned from
Philadelphia informs us that the Keely
moter consists of a pound of boarding
house butter shut up in an iron box.
This statement will do much to renew
confidence in the power OF the MOTOR
Rome ~ " Sentinel.
CALI the worlds STAGE" he rumi-
mated, "and all the men and women
merely players, and most of the plays
are from Shakespeare, too! Before we
were married, Julia and played Romeo
and Juliet, and now it's mostly ITEM
pest. IT,"
ADo1PHUs, dear, what shall I do?
Bridget has struck, and there she stands
at the kitchen door with q poker in one
hand and saucepan in the other,
threatening to break the head of the
new help if she dares to lay her hand to
a dish-rag. It's just awful, so it is, too"
HERE is a conundrum which we do not
remember to have seen in print: Why is
pig looking out of a second-story win
dow like the moon ? Because he looks
round. If anybody triumphantly re-
torts that the moon doesn't always look
round, you can reply that the pig doesn't
either. Lowell Courier.
els THIS the place" she asked, as she
wandered down on the barren sands,
"where a young lady-a beautiful young
lady-fel into the water and was rescued
by gallant young man, whom she after
ward married ?" He looked at her care
fully, estimated her at square AZ, with
false teeth, and said GO Yes, ma'am, but
I don't know how to swim. %
WYE LA BAGATELLE?
About year or so ago,
When was young and quite conceited,
CHANGED to meet the prettiest girl,
thought, my eyes had ever greeted.
IT'S useless for me to repeat
The tale with which we're all acquainted;
/ lost my heart to her at once,
And found her all my fancy painted.
I loved her, or thought did,
Yet found my true love had miscarried,
For when asked her heart and hand,
She said she was already married
This was year or so ago,
When was young and sentimental;
NV aor fxvoc r1u hr0lyoV Than