The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-06-16
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

drunkenness?" Well, we can't answer for all 0
them but we believe whisky causes great dea
of it; whisky, sir, resolutely stuck to- vii! caus
about as large drunk as anything we Know Of
although judicious mixing up OF yaiiou
drinks will accelerate matters II man Is IN
hurry burlington Ha'ehyc.
Hoge & Form of, of the streator ire Press
must be regular nabobs. They not only oheI
two farms in Ford county for sale at the stagser
ing and precise figure of $3.50 per acre, bu
show willingness to forego amusement and re
creation by offering their ten pm alley in Cornell
for sale. But times must be getting close &c
drive them to such sacrifice.
The Cincinnati Commercial lnnoceatly sup
poses the murphy movement" to mean the on.
ward march of the potato bug.
There is an unrepealed law On the statute
books Of England, that jury that cannot agree
"may be locked up during the session OF court,
and then carried in cart to the borders Of the
next county, and there shot INTO a ditch" but
for some unaccountabe reason law so emf.
nently wise and proper is no longer enforced.
The fellows" say the season has come when
the girls will Internationally lead them up the
street that is most th:ckly populated with ice
cream saloons.
Another grove Of giant trees has been dlscoy-
cred in California, some Of which were grow
ing before Jonah served in the humble capacity
Of an emetic TO an overgrown shark.
It rs tlme,honored and constantly repeated
joke in Boston to say Of the corner Of Park and
fremont streets, where the wind sweeps hard
Somebody ought to put sLoyn Lamb on that
corner"
Here's an awful warning. Mrs. Artlet, near
CAatsworth, last week, while in perfect health,
went out to assist in planting potatoes, when
she dropped dead. Who, after such an example,
will maintain the woman's rights notion Of sex.
ual equality?
Prof. Bell boasts of the discovery hat when he
clasped hands with another person, and their
heads came IN contact, a sound was produced.
Pshaw, this is nothing new Every man and
woman knew that long ago.
Among fashion notes the New York T3e,
says "Al-sik dresses are 70 longer seen"
True-a great many, in these hard times, are un.
der the protecting wing Of my uncle"
AT what point viii the Russians cross the
DanubeN is the question which now 0gitates all
minds.-Er.
Probably at the point Of the bayoGe,.
Peru wants a dentist, The NeraH says the
labor Of pronouncing the jawbreak.ng nance,
That occur in the war dispatches is running all
the teeth in the village.
a religious revival Of unusual power at Jefier-
son City, No, has lead to some singular mani
festations. local paper says:
A pious hen crawled into the Methodist church
last Sunday, and laid an egg in the contribution
box. While the minister was making an earnest
appeal for the cause Of missions, the hen sud
denly left her nest and cackled most energetical-
ly. The deacons discovered the egg when they
went forward 10 got the contributions boxes, ard
the sense OF the meeting seemed to indicate
tina, the pious hens donation was better adapt.
cd to the domestic than the foreign field.
An intelligent rural correspondent Of the
Streator Free Press vents his indignation against
that arrant fraud, the barometer. He says he
bought one to regulate the weather on his farm,
but though, according to directions, he frequent.
ly shook it, when he wanted rain likely as not il
brough, dry weather, and pce ,crsa. He says, "the
barometer may be good thing In the hands Of
an expert, but with Inc its use was only dsas.
uousithe weather going aq.hazzard the same as
when had no barometer"
According to the Rocky Kountaia Nacs, Mr..
Z. Horace Roy Land an egg on the editors table
last night that pulled down the scales 10 the
tune Of four ounces" Mr.. Roy is II Is plain, a
Branah Putter-C Chicago Tribune.
Much ha. been written against the accordion,
Dut the ilrst evening after a young man who
pTactlced on one moved into the second floor of
mouse on Union street a smile lit up the face
Of the aged citizen who lay in sickness on the
floor above. He said that lie was now feconclled
to death.-Norpich Bulletin.
some Of our Republican cotetnporaries speak
Of Mr. Hayes as the Centennial President
That, says the World, is a mistake. he Is "the
Continual President"
il takes two TO make bargain. In Salem,
Mass, last week misbehavng brother was
about to be expelled from a church, upon which
the worlds people" held meeting and resolved
not TO receive him unless he was returned in as
good condition as when delivered to the church. |
The editor Of The Lake City (Minn.J Lcaaer Is
evidently close observer He remarks:
To see man picking q wood tick OF mule. |
heel IS sure sign OF fuueral-we always no. |
iced that
One Of the editors Of the Joliet PAanir has de.
serted and accepted situation on the Sun,
whereupon "Styx" gives him this pleasant send. |
CD This step should no. lead his many adj
mirers 70 suppose that he viii descend TO the
practice OF ccmbing his hair aad wearing white
shirt. Death only will subdue his untamcd ma.
;ure sufficiently to permit Of any such tom.
f0Olery' around his carcass
4 newspaper correspondent gives the follow. |
ing account OF business meeting OF the Metho- |
dist congregation in tie pleasant town Of Hins. /
dale, between Aurora and Chicago:
Brother Coulter arose aud said that Pastor
Crow had forged a note Then Pastor Crow |
arose and said that Brother Coulter had abstract.
Cd five dollars from contribution box. Tbsp
The other brethren began 10 quarrel and the /
meeting was closed IL disorder.
Clothes clesned and repaired in tic rear r /
8 sign IN Salem, Mass.
i strikes the pampered eye OF luxurious
Eastern Christian with awe n SEQ "a 70 W..,....