The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1877-05-10
WHOLE NO. 1860.
Miscellaneous
9 miners dream Of life {. ore.

sury-Claimants.
oHies seekers say they can no, button.
hole SchurH.
"Decsased bad a nature a. sensitive a.
a thumb" says an Omaha obituary.
A restaurant keeper advsrtlses for a
boy 10 open oysters fiieen years old.
What is that which by lo.ing an ere
has nothing bot = nose leit9 A nose.
The sweet breath Of spring comes from
her tulips. and the grass has grown hya-
cinths the rain.
When a moth ilies into The lamp hame
and is consumed. may not the Gro BE- al
tributed 10 = defective iew1
General Washington Items" are not
biographical sketches Of tao late lament
ed Father Of bis Country.
An oldstyls earpetbaFser-Ths man
who takes your carpet away 10 clean And
doesn't come back with a.
Somebody writes TO a rural paper 10
ask How long cows should b. milksdf'
Why tue same a. short cows. Of course.
The head line Congressional Intsiii.
genc-' does not imply that Consressmsn
know more than ordinary outsiders.
London papers are talking sinee the
Pope's allocution Of the Roman question.
Bat what is it1 only Roman knows.
Fools and their money soon part Its
worth wnilr being a fool % have the mo-
ney 70 part with. though" comments
Brown.
-Four iui Factories have been establish.
cd at Holly springs. Miss This could
hardly have been possible under Repub.
lican rule.
A humorous apothscary In Boston ex.
poses a case Of soap In his shop windov.
With the pertinent inscription: Cheap.
sr than dirt"
credulous people are digging In Ten.
nr.sc- for gold fortune teller has told
them iies there Ia will probably be
found the fortune teller les there
Says Josh Billings 4 at mo down In
thought Profound This maxim wise
drew 'lts easier fur you 90 Low gal
than maik = sal luv you.
Re careful hos you get = doushnut At
- sAAAAN NhHkAMNAAk ~ ~ ~ - MNAfNMa
center. 10 h q tin coil tlled With whisky.
They enforce their liquor laws la Maine
now.
Insults. says a modern philosopher.
are like counterfeit money. We can not
hinder their b'ing ofrred. but we are
not compelled TO take them"
Somebody having remarked that q
ma F.aafafa a. H.
terday. Lavender wanted ~ know why
they didn't so to door factory aad boy
some
Nv Hrst syllable ia company my sec
ond stuns comp my. my third call. con.
pany And my whole entertains compa.
ny Give it up7 Why. 90 nun drum. Of
course
Let me see" said the nurse Of a sick
man. The doctor said one teaspoon
iul every ten minutes. That makes six
every hour. say - daring the night
shall give him y spo5nfuis right away.
fnd have chance 70 get little sleep
myself"
Ifa Michigan man l. a Michigander.
the a Wisconsin man Il a W Wisconsinner,
is he noR aud Rhode lsla.d man a
Rhode lslandironG aud the Vermont
man Vermontstrooity1 and our south.
ern neiEhbor . connccticuller7 and 90
on. ad 10.
The first letter sent by a gushing
Freshman home 20 bis sire encouraged
him. aud be thinks his son will be a "a.
tutor some day. 3ere 10 iG
''Pater. Cant havesobie more stampsent
tomei Ego spenthe lAstcenI Tuus stu.
diosus heres. johannes"
Rev. Mr. Koyes. Of Norrislown, Pa,
says The same in~lIable felicity that
exists aTong lovers here will continue
10 exist In heaven" which i undoubted.
ly 30. NJ less they should previously mar.
~.
Book ag~nts. says an exchange. get
nine dollars q day for talking" We
know = woman. not agent either. who
could earn eighteen dollars a day al the
business with both hands tied behind
her back.
Scene m Texas Hotel table. Good
mo. ming. stranger ID looks like rain
think not shot 10
heard aud the stranger is rolled out OF
the back door. MorAl-Tsxas 10 a hae
grazing country.
Half the fools In the United States
think they can beat the doctors curing
the sick. two thirds Of them are sure
they can beat the ministers preaching
the gospel. and al 81 them know they
can beat the editors running the papers.
A T~uion joker. seeing a couple Of
young med Foiug alorF IN a very in~bri
ated condition. said they were going
N.ss.a Ia a.. Hsf.eanA l..
h- thought there would b. "-nm~ rHbio-
sions" when they reached their dcstina-
ton.
A friar. when preaching in q nunnsrv.
observed Co hia female auditora BE nnt
too proud that our blrssed Lord paid
your ser the distinguished honor Of ap.
pearnT first 90 female after the r~sur-
rection. for ID vs. done that the
glad tidiugs might spread the sooner
II va. an agricultural editor who. ~.
f-rring to potatoes. wrote Eastern Jack.
sons Aud 10 was an intelligent com.
po.itor who. setting 10 up. made it read
rating jackaa.~s The intelligent com.
positor 70 nov seeking q position Ra q
New York Harbor Pilot
The suggestion Of a watch key that
man can pull OF his boots with. B. the
natural inspiration born OF the difiicuity
which the average male experience. ia
winding his watch with the loot jack.
The fewer things be has 20 look alter the
lees he is likely 10 lose.
She was sweetly dreaming Of bright
golden frld. where flowers breath~d per
tune. and she thought she was chasing
A "A IL.