The Weston Democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1875-current, 1877-11-03
George Washington Interviewed.

| wv SP""uet iSPSa'SA iHeh S'suiuEt !
at private seance, held an interview
with what purported to DO tho spirit Of
George Washington, with the follow
ing result:
Interviewer-You must DO very
much shocked, General, coming back
and fuding SO much corruption 10
politics and business.
WashingtOn-Nonseuso You're no
worse than we were.
I-Why, I thought yours was the
time Of old-fashioned purity and hon.
esty.
W.-0ld.f fashioned fddlc.sticks.
Wasn't Aarnold traitor? Didn't the
Continental lobbyists from the start try
to supplaus mo with General Artcmus
Ward Weru't one fifth of the Yankee
Cowboys and SINNERS. robbing friend
or foe? Didn't dcacons everywhere
trade in slaves, black aud white ?
Didu't people drive sharp bargains
then?
but History
W.-Bothcr History! Half your
histories are made to hide facts. or
give them false coloriug. They've
made me out between a saint aud a
demi'god. was neither. Only a
mun, with altogether too much dignity
for comfort.
but you werc found praying
once ut Valley Forge. and
W.-Wcll. lots of men will pray
when things look black aud desperate.
Don't you rccollcct how I sworc at
Light Horse Lee a few months after
wards?
I.-Bu. isn't it better that We should
keep up your reputation as good and
proper man, and all that. just for an
example to our youth
W.-Whctc's the use Of "cxamplo'
that never existed =? That reminds me
that my friend Abe Lincoln says be
wants to be taken out Of the Sunday
school books. He says he was nc
emi.saiut, and that it is q fact thai
the stories hc used to tell in frontier
bar rooms when on the illinois circuit
would disperso a convention Of Sunday
schools.
l.-But you'd like your character
for Republican simplicity preserved?
W.-IIold there! never vas ono
Of your so.callcd Republicans. | didn't
mix freely with tue people. I was
aris,ocratic and exclusive in my taste:
like my people before me; drove my
carriage and six; hunted with the
gentry; had a family pew With the
family arms over it; would have one
To-day were | 10 live that life over
again. didn't compose the documen,
about the quality Of all men, either.
but, General, you must own ia
some great qualities. Your refusal to
take advantage Of your influence with
the army at the close Of the war ID
make yourself king?
W.-All that, tho gratuitous US.
sumption Of a lot Of Fourth Of July
lawyers, who got up adulatory oratiOus
about me to pave their way to Con.
grcss. There never was tue least show
for me to seize the reins of power. 1t
was just tho last thing then that the
States aud the people would stand.
| Now, did you ever tell lie ?
W.-Of course did. you idiot, aud
paid for having them told, loo, while
we e. in the Revolution. Those Gbs
were military necessities.
I.-Whnt do you think Of our age,
anyway?
Wits an improvement Of 1776.
More newspapers; more Of both bad
and good dragged to light. Lord,
you'd DO as,onisacd did you realize
the general ignorance Of ono hundred
years ago. Doctors prescribed nothing
but calOmcl and blood letting; every
disease aud accident dispcnsation Of
Providence; no temperance societies ;
aud nobody but the rich could ever get
100 miles from home. You're an
improvement, as you are. Good
night. must be Off now, as I'm
fighting for the independence Of Venus.
-Guphie.
General Cassius NJ. Clay has
pretty little estate Of 1900 acres in
Kentucky, in tho ceutrc Of which