The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-03-30

See1ASiAg&1Ae1thS " Dallu oH3 anu neF qua
antee for faithfulness was very strong, h
concluded to purchase, and. see if kin
treatment and wholesome food would no
effect metamorphosis.
On his return home that evening, Peewi
found that the cow had arrived, been ap
proved of, put in the stable; and "Old Bill
ly'' had been engaged to attend her.
Il feel, dear, like going up on the hous,
top tomorrow morning and shouting
Shoot him on the spot!' at every swill
milk peddler that passesy" he remarked
to his wife, as they went up stairs to bee
that night.
Mrs. Peewit said she'd like to catch hin
doing it, and the conversation dropped
That night the COW, doubtless feeling
homesick, ripped out one side Of the stable
with her horns and passed out into the
garden, where she amused herself by hook
ing the weeks washing off the clothes
lines, and believing hard enough to loosen
the bricks in the chimneys and bring Pee
wit out in the cold night air in his night
shirt and slippers. Then all the neighbors
within four blocks got up, opened their
windows, and called his attention to the
subject, and would doubtless have got his
fairest views in return, had not the COW
suddenly reached under the tail of his
shirt with her horns and tossed him up
against the fence with force that threat
ened to shatter every bone in his body.
The first thing Peewit did on returning
to earth was to rub himself and the next
was to climb into the house through back
window, and leave the neighbors to hurl
profanity and hootacks at the faithful bo-
vine till the rosy god Of morn hung his
orifamb in the east. ...-.
Peewit spent the forenoon of the next
day receiving deputations of vio1ently-dis-
posed neighbors, who called in and made
some cowardly remarks in an excited and
boisterous manner, and were only persuad-
ed to depart after they had threatened to
whip or sue him according to their weight
and inches. He went to business in the
afternoon, and on his return home in the
evening found the house smelling Of chlor-
oform, and his wife in Mysteries, and two
doctors setting the hired girls ribs and
plugging up wounds made by the faithful |
beasts horns
Then Peewit allowed his angry passions
to rise, and went out and interviewed the
animal with a bed-slat, drove her into the
stable, and was tying her up to the man
ger, when she suddenly lifted him up
against the roof of the building with force
in this world, and sent him limping into
the house in search of medical asd and
sympathy.
Three mornings later, as Peewit was
reading the morning paper, old Billy, in a
frightful state of dirt anger, bruises and
hay-seed, put his head in the sitting-room
door, and announced his intention of throw
ing up the job then and there. He said he
wanted money bad enough. and he WASN'T
or afraid to work for it, but he'd /
oe teetotalIy hanged if he was going to
make q football of himself for any con
.ounded old cow to loss through the roo
IF cow-shed.
The next morning Peewit reluctantly
buckled on to the milk pail, and started
for the stable, accompanied hy Mrs ?. and
his spinster aunt. They found the COW
calmly chewing her cud, with a leg Of old
Billys overalls floating gracefully from
one of her horns.
"Su-ke! Suke, pretty suke, stand Owe
here, nj .e old lady," remarked PeeWit as
lie brought the milking stool ont and sat
lown on it his wife and aunt drawing
close to his side to watch the milk-gather-
ng process.
"Now you see this milking business is
ust as easy as rolling off . leg said Pee
vit. "All you have to do j. to take hold
,f-n
His explanation was left unfinished, ow
ng to the faithful animal suddenly fetch
ng him rap behind the ear with her left
lind foot that made him see q thousand
Iollars' worth Of fireworks in minute.
Te was crawling out from the straw when
he brute waltzed over, stepped on him,
licked him in the ribs, mashed tbe milk
all against his spinster aunt's chin, and
loshed his wife across the face with her
asty, wet tail, hard enough to loosen her
eeth and her faith in Providence.
Peewit was brought over to the house on
wheelbarrow, put to bed and bandaged,
nd bis wife says if he reeovers over the
raid fever and can ever get his left leg
traight again, she will be wiling to live
d swill milk or chalk and water to her dy- L
ag day.
The faithful COW is for sale at 4 ruinous