Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1877-01-10

strangers earnestness. "My youth.
full worm" said the stranger, "there
lis ruin in that Intoxicating bowl
which biteth like 8 sserpent and sting.
eth like On adder, and cursed is he
which putteth It 10 his neighbor'a
lips. Selah. All, young man, that
rum is chemical preparation having
fusel oil as basis and three gallons
of fusel oil placed on the tongue of a
rabbit killed it in less than q year.
There is hot water IN It. If / had my
achromatic polarizing refractory mi
croscope here-unhAppily on coming
out this morning left it on the piano
in the kitchcn--I you'd show you
that every drop Of tkis accursed fluid
is alive with myriads of wriggling
and loathsome insects and reptiles
(hcre the young man rut down his
mug), the bacteria, and the sphacteria,
and the animalkcwlA and the MOLE
kewls, and the alaljasteria, and the
allamagoozla." "Dut," said the
young man, "the water is billed.
Doesn't billing the water destroy
them trichine ~ NO." said the
stranger, "the process of boiling
(ebullition, as we call 1t in Greek,
from ebullish,-a boil, and shMn--ing)
precipitates the aqueous particles Of
the water into the atmosphere in the
form of steam and leaves the animal
kewls. There is less water and more
reptiles-that is ALP (The young
man here stopped stirring his Tom
and Jerry.) "There il ALSO" said the
melancholy stranger, Nsugar In that
accursed potion, granulated sugar.
You are aware of the processes en-
ployed in refining sugar 7" The
young man said he wasn't. "Then,"
said the stranger sT shall not dwell
on their horrors, horrors so horrible
beyond belief that if 1 were to re-
count but tithb Of them each par.
ticular hair would stand on end like
quills upon the frightful CROCODILE"
(Here the Pecatonican adolescent
turned pale.) Eggs" resumed the
stranger, "eggs, also, enter into the
composition Of this devilish drink.
Eggs says Solomon, ARE eggs, be
they ever go eggy,' but, as you are
aware, eggs are not very fresh at this
season of the year, though by the use
of chloride of lime and other disin-
fectants their taste can be concealed.
There is also spice in this-this Tom
and Jerry, for such, believe, is the
name of this soul-destroying potion.
Spice is comparatively harmless, be-
ing composed of brickdust, pulver-
lied mummies, and strychnine.
Oblige me by stirring your beverage,
in which, indeed, you do not appear
Perhaps there may be q |
mouse in it, "a mouse ?" said the
young man, starting up. "Yes, q |
replied the stranger. 81
came in carly this morning to leave
some tracts while the barkeeper was
mixing this accurscd beverage, and |
while he was beating the eggs and |
sugar in that big bowl (Which / affec-
tionately cntrcat you to shun) a |
mouse that was in the sugar jar fell |
IN. Itof course died, for, alas! we
ire all mortals; perhaps the bar
keeper noticed it and took it out. |
Even if he didn't, the chances are
many hundred TO one that it isn't in |
your mug, and il it is, mice are
healthy and many people thrive on
HEM" Here the young man got up,
md, with look of disgust, fled from
he scene. The old man watched
him for moment, shook his head
and, stirring up the
Tom and Jerry, drank it Off with
ieep sigh of satisfaction.-Chicagot
Tribune.