The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-08-02
The Blessings Of Badness.

Will uUt CVVCT tuo lOSS.
The Blessings Of Badness.
WHEN q man makes the appalling dis.
covery that his crown-piece is gradually
assuming the aspect of the renowned I'm.
Gle Edwards, he gives undivided attention
at his morning toilet to the disposition Of
his scant "knOtted and combined locks. |"
The ingenuity by which they are manipu-
lated 20 ~ to conceal the area of hopeless
aridity and the retreat of hirsute veeeta-
ton below the sn0w-line, is often more
artistic than the Celebrations of a profes.
si0nal hair-dresser, when summoned to
assist In the decoration of bride.
1t Is said, but we do not know with what
truth, that unmarried men make this dis.
covery at later day than those who have
added domestic to the other duties and
joys of life, but this must be because the
latter realize the prayer of Burns, and are
able to see themselves as others see them.
1t is not unnatural that a wife who is
assured by watchful husband that gray
hairs have made their appearance among
her shining tresses, should mark with &C.
cret satisfaction the increased but NO
longer remuncrative application of strange
stimulating and restorative compounds to
the lid of his vanity-box, and discern, in
the increasing quantity of material sup
piled each day for the interior of elastic
cushions, an assurance of the incvita-
BILE hour when a small and lustr0us disk,
perhaps Of no larger diameter than q
brass button, shall appear upon his crown,
the glistening center of an ver-cnlarging
American DESERT
A discovery of this importance is at once
trumpetcd to the household and communi.
Gated to such near and dear friends "a it
may be safe to intrust with SO rare deli.
cacy. The poor man may hide the work
OF the pruning knife of Time from his
business friends and acquaintance, and
even successfully conceal it from those
who 60 in and out of the sanctuary with
him. but TO his family the p0rtentous fact
vice of tOnsOrial art. The bachelor, hav-
ing no monitor but his looking glass, and
seeing only the front of his outrageous
crest. may go on for years as unconscious
that he is cultivating space of cleared
land as Uncle Sam is of loss of timber on
the public domain. But when, in FUN
bling around with comb and brush, he
perceives that there is space over which
the brush passes with indifference, wheth-
er its back or bristle be applied. he, too,
accepts the fact, and seeks, like his mar
ried fellow, to give as little conspicuity to
it as his diminishing revenues will allow.
But people who are reluctant toecOnfess
their badness, and indulge in the illusions
excited by hair restorative advertisements,
do not consider the subject philosophical
ly. 1t is Thackeray who tells the little
page that "curly gold locks cover foolish
brains" Luxuriant growths of hair are
indicative of childhood and savagery.
Badness is a sign of civilization. The
Egyptians, with whom historic civiliza-
ton commenced, shaved their heads that
they might be bald. The Scythians, who
herded with their horses were examples
of barbarism and long hair. Nothing so
much surprises the untutored savage Of
America in an encounter with the white
man, as the discovery, when he draws his
scalping- knife, that there is no hair by
which to lift his trophy of victory. Bald
ness is not known to barbarism. It is q
token rather that men have departed from
the infancy of races and individuals.
How many of the worlds great men
have been as bald as the dome of Mont
Blanc? The old Hebrew prophet, who
commanded the bears to come up and de-
YOUR the children of derision, knew the
virtue of badness and the veneration due
to it. He lived among a semi-barbarous
people, who had mistaken notions about
the absence of hair, but he gave them an
awful example of the consequences OF
deridi3g it, and they seem to have profited
by it. The statues and busts of the phil
os0phers and orators, the poets and states.
men of the best periods of Greek and
Roman history, show majority OF them
to have been wholly or partially bald.
Julius Caesar himself was as bald as 8
milestone, and the Antonines were moi
afflicted with much hair. Indeed, from
Adam himself dOwnt0 the Adams family
which is in the line of Presidents of the
nineteenth century, intellectual force and
smooth skulls are physiological concur
rents.
There are no concealments about bald
head. You measure it as you do an open
countenance. 1t resembles the naked
truth, and there is an honesty about it, Q
solidity of dimensions, q meditation and
undulation of surface, and positive and
impressive character that makes it an OBJ
ject of profound admiration to the sculp
tor and architect. The barber may sham.
poo and polish it, but he cannot mar it
fair proportions. None of his artistic
whims and caprices can be expended upon
it. There it stands, smooth a. an apple,
massive as q dome, substantial as a rock,
and written all over with the evidence OF
cool reasoning and highest thought. Con.
sidered from q proper point of view, the
wonder is that civilized man does moi
rather rejoice in badness as q token Of
greater development than seek to hide il
a. an infirmity of nature.
Badness, too, has its practical advan.
tages. But for his long hair, Absalom
might have routed the hoets of Joab, and
sat in the seat of his royal father. The
cavaliers of King Charles time cultivated
long hair, but they were no match for the
short crops of Old Ironsides, who, if moi
bald, simulated it, and in 50 far indicated
political and social advancement in civil.
cation. In the narratives of execution by
the axe and the sword, there is in nearly
every instance some preliminary account
of the cutting and clipping of hair. II is
rare in history that We hear of bald.
headed man being executed, and who
ever heard Of one being hung? Badness
indicates wisdom, GOODNESS, deliberatiOn,
thought and development of the high
moral and intellectual qualities. which
phrenology locates in the top of the head
The tonsurc of the priesthood in the Cath
Ollie Church shows the ecclesiastical ap.
probation of the value of badness as an
aid to spiritual and intellectual expansion.
All these and many other coniiders.
lions which will suggest themselves to the
reader should lead him to exclaim: Re-
- n 49,