The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1877-07-18
One Of A. Wards Jokes.
Howard Paul in American REGISTER,

One Of A. Wards Jokes.
Howard Paul in American Register,
During Artemus Wards soiourn in
London, which was, alas! too brief, l
introduced him to very good fellow, a
great admirer of his whimsical books,
but who was something of tn hunter
withal. AS Lord Byron said of the poet
Tom Moore, he "dearly loved lord" or
anybody fourishing handle to his name
My friend Weatherwax 1--WE will soon call
him, for as good citizen rate-payer, and
the father of the large family, must not
disclose his real name) had charming
house, a brilliant drawing-room, and was
fond of entertaining artistic society.
Artemus and he were quickly sympathet-
ic, aid became close friends; but, with
his characteristic penetration, he was not
long discovering Wee ;herwax's penchant
for swell acquaintance. Calling with
Artemus one afternoon, we were shown in
into the salon, and, while awaiting our
host, we amused ourselves with looking
over the visiting cards in a huge china
bowl. On the top of the pile was con-
spicuously placed the card of Lord Cow
ley. The careful position of the bit of
pasteboard plainly indicated that it had
not got there by chance. The eve of the
humorist twikled, and in an instant he
transferred the card to the bottom of the
bowl, leaving plain Brown, Jones, or
Robinson, as the case might be, at the top
in full view. :" Now" said Artemus,
" from time to time as we come here, we
will follow the fortunes of that card.''
Suppose we rob him of it outright
said with malicious mildness, land break
his heart forever and ever"
'Not bit of it; that will defeat nv
purpose"
Our host appeared; we had our inter-
view and departed. A few days passed
and we called again. We were shown, as
usual, into the drawing-room, and glanc-
ing at the bowl, found the card of Cowley
had been fished up from the bottom and
restored to its old position as ''head of
the heap" On this day we dined, and
during the evening Artemus whisked the
card off the bowl and said:
"By Jove, I'll secrete this where he will
never find it." and while Weatherwax had
gone to look after the ladies he placed it
between the leaves of mammoth gilt
edged, gorgeously-illuminated family
Bible. There. I've securely lodged it in
the Book of job" whispered Artemus:
snow we'll see how long it abideth there
l don't think he troubles the sacred tome
very Often" ,.
A week or more passed before we saw
Weatherwax again. The card had been
found in the meantime and proudly
beamed at us from its usual conspicuous
position. This time Artemus slipped it
under the carpet, and in doing so rather
soiled its pure enamelcd surface.
"Odds bodkins, as they say in old En-
glish, I think it has found a secure rest
ing place at last. He'll not see that sure
ly until the carpets are taken up or shak-
en-. My Lord CowleY, sweet and ten
der adieu." :
1t must have been month before our
next call, and we palpitated with curios-
ity as we approached the house, In few
moments we were bending over the we'll
remembered china bowl, and to our as
constituent there was not only the card
in its old place, but it had been carefully
cleaned, evidently with india-rubber, and
shone with its original brightness.
"That's the most Micawber-like card I
ever saw,-it's always turning up.
wonder if he has started new one" said
Artemus, and he felt under the carpet to
see if, by any chance, the old card was
there. No, it had gone, and the one we
pensiyely gazed upon was evidently the
same that had been concealed.
II am bothered now to know where to
hide that darned pasteboard, but think
we must give him one more Search" re-
marked the American, drily. A French
vaudcvilliste would turn this incident in
to lever de rideau for the Palais ROYAL,
and this concealing the card is not un-
like the main incident of Sardou's play,
Les Pattcs de Mouche.' Now, where
can I place it?' And he moved around
the apartment in his endeavor to light on
a secure spot. "Ah, hcre!'' And mount
ing chair he laid it carefully high
away on the broad cornice Of the lofty
window, entirely out of sight.
~That will bother him. Hunting the
hare or Devastating is nothing to this.