The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1877-08-19
RATS.

There ARE times In mans life,
even when he is piously inclined,
when he has u disposition TO follow
the example of the old quaker whose
hat blew OIL, and the wind kept II
dancing just in front of him, till tired
out with the chase, and he gave n hoy
quarter to cuss the hat twenty-five
cents worth. such time IA that trles
mems souls, and II they are, by con-
science, forbidden TO speak the pro-
fame language auently, they try to re-
member all the Chinese laundry signs
they ever saw, and repeat them rapid
ly. Jobs" patience, they say, was
somewhat aggravated by "bilep;n but
We doubt ii no ever had II rat In his
bedroom at night, gnawing away be-
hind the head-bnard of the bed. A
clerical friend of ours awoke last
night from sweet dream of peace
His wife was the immediate cause OF
his awakening, which was produced
rather suddenly. She accomplished
that feat with the aid OF her shoe.
"My dear" there is II rat In the room,
put him out! Our friend felt that
there was no appeal from that man
date, Although he has IA slight aver
sion 10 these vermin, he prepared
to obey oourageously. He got up and
opened the door to the next room, then
taking broom and getting up in n
chair, he thrust 1t behind the bed and
shoo>shooed u couple Of times. The
rat walled into the other room, and
our friend laid down again. He had
hardly got comfortably settled before
the rodent was heard In pile OF pa
pers, and he got up again, this time
closing the door, and he determined to
massacre the beast, then aud there.
The room was closed tight, and IL was
good FRAT" good man for II. Unfortu
nately, the gentleman was bare-footea,
and the "rat' was an old timer and
full of iight. He chased II under a big
wardrobe, aud when he poked Il out,
the "rap' ran over his feet. The next
second he was In chair, talking what
little Chinese he could remember,
while his wife called to him TO know
II he hadn't killed that "ratp yet. Not
liking to back out, he tackled the "rat"
again, but the old fellow
showed fight, and our friend
felt very uncomfortable about the
toes. AT last he opened the door
again, when the 'ratn made a
break through the bedroom, jumped
on the bed, soaring the lady who threw
the shoe, which she still held In her
hand, with all the force she could
muster, which, instead OF hitting the
rat" who had got back to his old
place behind the bed, took the hus.
/ Ohllu Ou lht Chu VI hi' uOstt Nhholuh
him to step back suddenly on n
marble, which the children had
left on the floor. This upset him,
and he sat down without ceremony.
AS he fell he grabbed at the table,
but all he got hold Of was the cover
which went with him, accompanied
by the lamp and all the ct.
ceteras. His wife yelled fire"
and grasping the water-pltcher
emptled 1t over him, wettipg his man
uscript of the days sermon, and mix
ing with the contents ofihe ink bottle,
changed the compexion Of things ma
terially.
A council of war was held, and both
sat up with the rat until daylight
when reinforcemeuts were obtsine,
and the rat killed. The gentleman
has since remarked that II he hat
been Noah he might have been glac
to see "Ar-a-rat,r but "Nary.rap
would suit him much better.