Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1877-06-02
Talking About Julia.
+ From tie San IranSiSc) CaH. j


Perkins is one Of those progressive men who
want to try every new invention that is
brought out. His last freak was 10 get en-
thuscd over the telephone, and have ono put
into his house connected with one in the Office
on California street. lie fofcsaw great adyan-
taees resulting from this arrangement. lie
could hold af7ectiouatc conversations with his
wife when business was slack and tell her
what time ho would be home TO dinner She
could tell him when Johnnie fell down the
cellar stars and skinned his nose, and insisted
on Perkins calling three or four doctors In
fact the uses Of this instrument were immune
rable and invaluable. Perkins found them so
as will be shown. Last Monday lie was dis
coursing with Mrs. Perkins about new bon
net. when a brother broker came in 20 see a.
bout some stocks Perkins telcphoDeG 10 his
wife that lie was engaged, aud turned around
70 talk business without discounecting the In
strumcnt. lie talked nbou; Julia, Lady Brian
and other stocks, while Mrs Perkins listened
inteutly at The other end Of tie line, OCCASION
oily catching name and wondering wha. on
earth he could bo talking about. Her sus-
picions were aroused, and when Perkins said
to the broker in loud tone as he went out,
I'm take Julia at $50" she knew there was
woman in the case and conducted herself ac-
corlingly. The first thing Perkins kucE, the
telephone was kicking up m awful row, "l'll
Julia -wretch-viIIain-m married fifteen
years-herc, you johnny, saw the handle of
that broom, quick, or I'll skin you alive
where's my rubLers just wait dllI get hold
Of him"
These were some Of the sounds that rcyer-
bcratcI through the telephone in confused
manner, intermixcd with eeacral racket that
denoted active and wariike preparations 10 The
enemy's camp. Perkins saw that his only
safety lay in getting home by circuitou'
route and trusting in lis ingenuity in appeas-
ing her wrath when she returned from her sor-
tie. He accordingly locked tie door aud put
his plan into execution. lie reached home at
about the same time that Mrs Perkins arrived
q, the Office, aud, putting Lis car 20 the tele-
phone. lie heard her trying at the door
Thinking to appease her wrath, be placed bis
mouth near the vibrator and said, in voice
loud enough to Ie heard through the door
" Dout be angry, love, wouldn't look at any
other woman you know love no one but
you" Mrs. Perkins was listening at the dooI
and heard his eudearing words, but mi.taking
their application, ler suspieions we're con-
frmed. 4 furious brooms;ick attack upon
The door followed and the crash Of glass told
Perkins tia. an entrance had been Effected
Mrs. Perkins then rumaged the Office, tippin;
tables over ani moving book cases 10 ber
search for the recreant husband aud that hus'
sy julia. to tbe infinite amusement Of Per
kins until she finally nrsei tie telephone stanC
+ and broke the connecting wire. \ blank oc
ours at this point, extending too late IN th'
evening. when Mrs. Perkins came home afte
an unsuccessful search at the theatres. Per
+ kips SAYS the bruise extending from the cofne
4 If the right eve across the bridge Of the noe
and disappearing 10 the left corner Of hi
month. was caused by running against close
door IN the dark, but it is a significant FAC
that lie has sold bis telephone aod uses ID
wire for clothes line.