The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1877-05-24
THE hog.

The hog is 4 miscellaneous com
pound Of determined OppcsitfOps. HI
/. Il one % the most depraved animal
on the face of the earth. The uafur,
OF fOg is preserved, and his sense O
. right and honor decidedly warned
/. The paradOXes Of his nature are YER,
numerous. He Is at once wise aul
stupid, sometimes obliging an,
Oftener contrary. The average Ifos
knows a good deal, and what d,
knows be has gsined by personal ex.
perlenee and observation. His adj
vantages being limited, il is rarely
We md = hog possessing a liberal
education. OfhistOry and philosophy
he knows nothing. Languages anc
philOlOgy form no essential part ot
his education. He is not proficient
In mathematics except in square root
He does not possess himself of the
advantages to be derived from the
study of the experience OF older and
wiser hogs. In fact, his deyelop-
ment Is perfectly natural and sp0n-
taneous- He grows alone in the s0Ii-
tude OF his own originality.
From the earliest times, the hog
has been regarded as an unelean ami
NAL. No reasonable man could dis
pute this who has paid any attention
TO the animal under discussion, As re-
Cards his personal habits. Tue Jews
have always refrained from eating
dead swine, for they were forbidden
by the old dispeDsatiOn. The pro-
hIbition reads as follows f'The car
casses OF every beast which diVidet!l
the hOOf, and Is not clOVen-fOoted.
nor cheWeth the cud, are unelsan m
to yOu." Now the hog divides the
hoof, but does not chew the cud.
This is the only thing in the world,
however, which he does not chew.
he ehews corn, meat, bones, ashes.
old bottles, snakes, charcoal and rub.
Der boots, and can manage to make q
hearty dinner on 3 deTuuet member
OF his own genus, with AZ few COM
Functions Of conscience as the King
OF the Cannibal Islands has when
be is taking his MONDAY lunch OF
clergyman cold"
Hogs are also OF various shapes and
sizes. They run through all the
grades from the long, slim, acOrn-Ted
Wind-splitter OF the South, whose
owner has to tie knots ia his tail to
keep him from crawling through the
fence, to the fat, lazy, eOntented pork
er 0f the New England States, who is
80 plethOrlc, that 1t is impossible to
tell on which end his head is unless
yOu prick him to make him Suuesl.
and then judge by the sound.
But however much they may differ
in outward circumstances, they still
are all members OF the great hog fam
lily, and their natures remain essen
italy the same. In fact, the OBJ
stinacy of the hog has been pFoverbiaI
in all ages. Tue first instance of re-
corded hOggishness which L have
been able to find was at the time
when Christ east out the unelean
spirits from the man among the
tombs, and sent them into the herd |
OF swine, which st that time were |
feeding among the mountains. TIE |
action of the swine was /
perfectly natural, and the devils that |
entered them then have been in them /
ever since. II you don't believe it,
look at their clOven feet. Any one 1
who has seen large drove of hogs,
under the influence OF some sudden |
excitement, dash off in mad stam-
pede, will have a vivid realization Of
the scene described in Scripture.
The memory of a hog is one OF the
paradOXes of his nature. It is at
times exceedingly tenacious, sand at
times marvellOusly treacherous. Ifa
hog manages to get into a 'eOrnfIeld
through the fence, he can never find
the hole again at which he went in,
even II he goes by dozen times.
On the other hand, il he has bsen
through hole HltO q eornfield and 1
then is driven out, he can invariably
find his way in agRin through the
same hole with no trouble whatever.
It is safe to affirm that no man
exists who can successfully drive a
hog where said hog is not inclined to
go. We have all heard of the Irish
man who always started his pig in /
the direction of Cork when he wished
TO drive it to Dublin. He understood !
hog nature to perfection.
Hogs generally have four legs. We /
have seen two-legged hogs, however,
and were Intending to speak some
what Of them, but our time fOrbids.
We will only add that when a hog
has finished his earthly career his
ma me is pork.