Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1877-03-07
Turning the Tables,

recently WAS StrucK Dy Dfllllant luea-
To impress the clerks with a due
sense of his watchfulness and their
responsibility, he would have them
"shadowed by detective. He did
so, and every day or SO would call one
of the young men into his private
room and address him with severity,
something after this fashion:
"Young man, you left the bank at
nineteen and half minutes past four
yesterday afternoon. You made a
bee-line for Dearborn street, declin
ing on the way to purchase matches
and suspenders, and telling a vener-
able man who poked an advertising
dodger into your diaphragm to go to
place where there is no ice on the
sidewalks and the probabilities al
ways indicate an area of high tenn
perature You also winked at stray
widow with false teeth. Arrived at
Dearborn street, you entered the
house of publican and sinner named
Mackin. had a hot Scotch whisky with
not too much sugar in it. invited the
barkeeper to take something himself
an invitation which was firmly but
respectfully declined-and had red
hot oyster on a fork. Thence pro-
ceeding to billiard room, the name
of which is known to the directors,
you played four games of billiards,
losing three and being stuck for as
many rounds of drinks. In addition
to this You had three other nips and
cigar Concha. Lighting this
you proceeded to a restaurant, the
name Of which is advertised in the
Chicago Tribune, where you dined
heartily and inexpensively on tomato
soup, raw oysters, broiled chicken,
apple-pie, fried potatoes, celery and
a number of other articles, the check,
including a bottle of Bliss ale, beng
S265. In payment you gave the
cashier s. greenback, A 1.639,456
If you deem it necessary l can de
scribe the change you received
Thence proceeding to the billiard
room, you played billiards till forty
seven minutes after nine, when you
went to gambling den that 1 might,
but need not, particularize, where you
bucked the tiger $3.50 worth. You
got a final drink at a quarter past
twelve A. NJ, and went home in car
No. 23S, West Madison street line
l do not recite this to censure you or
find fault with you in any way, but
merely to show you that the officials
of this institution keep close watch
upon all their employees. Honesty
is the best policy. That is all"
The clerk would retire terrified and
not embezzle another dollar for over
a week. The other day, however,
they got new clerk at this bank, a
quiet and innocent looking young
fellow His comrades told him about
the trials he would have to undergo,
whereat he smiled pensive smile
and said that would be all right
Yesterday afternoon the president
sent after him, and, with a respectful
wink at the messenger, he entered
the presidents room. When the old
man had got through, he replied,
calmly:
I'm the main your information is
accurate, though it was bitters, not
lemon, that I desired the barkeeper
not to put too much of it in my third
gin cocktail, and my biggest run at
billiards was sixteen, not seventeen
Yesterday afternoon, at 3:2S:37 you
left the bank and proceeded direct to
So-and-so's gambling hell, where you
We're braced out of S1,709 mighty
quick. You said when the ace came
up loser for the ninth time that it beat
the devil, and the dealer, who had
slipped out two cards, remarked that
he had never seen anything like it.
At the southeast corner of Clark and
Washington streets you received a
package of bills Il can tell the
amount if you hke-from the con-
tractor for the building the bank is
putting up. This is your whack up
of the divy," were his exact words
Then you went home and had dinner.
The oyster soup was slightly burned,
as you very justly, but somewhat
grumblingly observed, and after in
venting lie to your wife about hav-
ing to attend special meeting of
the Clearing house Association, you
went 70 that little Widows
Young man" said the president
in an awful voice, "you have been
guilty of an act of gross insubordi-
nation, not to speak of the lack of
honorable feeling manifested in thus
playing the spy. Another time 1 shall
not overlook the offense, but out of
regard for your widowed mother and
your previous irreproachable conduct.
1 shall forgive you now. What is
your salary!'
"Nine hundred dollars, sir"
"Tell the cashier to make it 81, 500
in future, dating from Jan. l, 1877.
This is token of appreciation of your
devotion to our interests and high
integrity. This hundred dollar bill
is slight personal testimonial of re-
gard Ii at any time you are little
short of funds don't hesitate about
borrowing from me. take deep
and affectionate interest in the well
fare of my young men,"
The clerk bowed his acknowledg-
ments and was about to take his
leave, when the president called him
back and said:
There is, of course, nothing in it
positively nothing; still, You need
not mention that little romance about
the widow to any one. A jokes
joke"
The clerk winked at him respect
fully and withdrew.
s~oval>. Jaeor.h.a thia