The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1877-05-10
NTisfOrtunes of a Bashfui Young
Man.

was good-looking, rather well-to-dosand
very agreeable. 1t was easily to be seen
that he was dead in love with that young
lady on North Hill he used to visit, and
it was pretty generally understood that
she wasn't averse to receiving his bash
full attentions; and, if it hadn't been for
one or two little incidents, t would have
been match, as.eyery gbody expected
and predicted.
Young Mr.. Diffiinger was not what
you would call an easy, self-possessed-
man. Not that he was at all an ungrace-
full man; in fact he rather pridea him
self upon his graceful carriage and ges-
lures, when nobody was looking at him.
He had a very studied, regular walk and
the ladies all said that his bow was
perfectly divine.n But, however
graceful he may be on the street, all his
natural elegance of manner deserted him
when he was in company. He stood
with his toes turned in. He sat with
knees crammed against each other, and
his feet lying along the carpet in paral-
lei lines. He had one hand on each
knee, or else held himself in the. chair
with them, and from time to time he
would rouse up, and, appearing to re-
alize the stiffness of his constrained pos
ture, would suddenly clasp his hands to-
gether, and shake hands with himself,
apparently delighted to know that he
was there, and Seeming to derive great
comfort and pleasure from his own inti-
mate acquaintance and society. He was
always in an agony lest his scalp-lock
was standing straight up, and constant
| ly made furtiye dabs at it, until he would
get the crown Of his head down to de
gree of polish that would make apiano-
case look rough, and would make an or
binary egg hatch itself in sheer envy. He
would feel that his nails were dingy, and
would try to investigate them without
attracting any ones attention, which
was always a failure. And he always
stepped on his own feet, and picked up
some one'sfhat, when he started to leave
the room. And one night he waded in
to this lady's parlor-the very young
lady every body thought he would mar
ry-with the muddiest pair of overshoes
that ever climbed a Burlington clay
bank clinging TO his feet And, after he
got in, he didn't know how under the
sun to apologize and go out and take
/ them off, and so he sat down in an ele-
giant easy-chair, and worked himself in
to alternate conditions of raging fever
and cold sweats, trying to hide his feet
under the chair, painfully conscious all
the time that the eye of the young lady's
mother was glaring at his offending feet.
And in his agony he worked one of the
shoes off, and, when he came away, not
/ daring to stop to pick it up, he left it
! there, and waded home in a perfect
| frenzy of modification and remorse, and
frightened the landlady and all the
] boarders into commissions of terror try
ing to dash out his brains by butting his
head against the lath and plaster parti-
/ ton of his room. And the next day he
/ received the overshoes in a bic paste
| board box, with a sarcastic note from
the young lady's mother, stating that he
| probably overlooked it on account Of its
smallness (mud and all, it was about the
size of a soap-boX) and the next Sab
bath, when he caught the young lady's
eye in church, she turned scarlet and
dived behind her fan, and he saw her
shake the pew with uncomfortable emo
I ton. He thought at first that she might
be weeping, but a closer Investigation
revealed his error; and he afterward
learned, from some young ladies with
whom she had held converse, that, the
morning after his departure from the
parlor, it looked as though aC., B. & q.
| gravel-train had been wrecked under the
easy-chair in which he sat. a,fa
1t was a long time, of course, before
young Mr. Difllinger went out into CON-
pany again But he heard people re-
marking what a pity itwas that such a
naturally graceful, accomplished young
man should shut himself up like q re-
cluse, when he could, by an effort, over
come his bashfulness and make himself
such an ornament to society So he re-
solved to. try once more. He tried; he
called at the same house again one
night, when there happened to be other
company, and, by watching himself with
great care, made brilliant success all
through the evening. He sat with his
lees gracefully bestowed, aftetsthe man
ner of the Observation-Disclosures. His
hands were as graceful and easy as
roller-skater. He said bright, pleasant,
brilliant things in an off-hand manner.
And, when he rose to 90, every body
wished he would stay longer. Hepicked
up his own hat As he backed toward
the door, Unreal country style, the young
lady darted forward to intercept him.
He understood the movement as trib-
ute to his former awkwardness and
penchant for lingering over the door
knob, and backed away more rapidly
than ever, to achieve his exit before she
could, with her well meant but unneed-
ed tact, assist him. He felt behind him
and caught the knob, swung the door
open, and, with a perfect triumph of
mastery grace, the very poetry Of ele-
gance, bowed himself into a region OF
outer darkness, and shut himself in.
1t was very dark, indeed. The hall
lamp had evidently gone out. And un-
less young Mr.. Deffiinger's nose was "
ing to him in the most shameless man
ner, somebody had carried the old shoe
box into the hall Mr.. Defflinger could
hear the muffled murmur of voices on
the other side Of the door, and it seem
ed to him, once or twice, that there was