The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1877-02-22
FACES AND FANCIES.

Stan'ly adorned with llOwers,
SOME OF the Virginia girls say Alexis
makes himself Greatly quite too far more
than awiully agreeable"
THE Berkshire (NIass.) ice product is
so clear that newspaper may be read
through three feet of it,
BLATANT conceit-Thc impression ON
the part Of our opponents that they have
a right, equally with ourselves, to
opinions of their own,
A FRENCH tourist, on visit to the
centennial last summer, wrote home
"Americans live well up to their income,
and insure their lives for the balance"
Ir sperhaps true that the indiscrimin,
ate charity does more harm than good,
but Just at present ndiscriminatc
charity is not rroltic enough to Justify
the hosting Of storm signals.
A WESTERN paper, in describing an
accident recently, says, with much can
dor; "Dr. Jones was called, and under
his prompt and skillful treatment the
young man died on Wednesday night"
THE Catholic Directory for 1877 re.
ports that the number Of Catholic
churches in this country is 5,292; of
prize Is, 297. The estimated Catholic
population is 100000,
A WISCONSIN, lumberman offers thirty
dollars in cash for "a rattling good wife
--one who is not too high.noscd to grow
Cat on bean soup" All females reaching
this point can 90 through without
change Of cars.-Frec Press.
TEAcHER--Who was the first man?
Brown (hcad boy)-Washington he was
first in war, first in---- Teacher--No,
no Adam was the first man. Brown
Oh, If you're talking of foreigners,
Epose he was.
HERREnT SPENCER fills out his para
graphs with such words as "endogomy,"
"cxoeamy," "polygamy," "monogamy,'
"polyandry,' "polyguy" aad "agna.
ton thus enabling imperfect minds to
take in his meaning at glance.
BEIGIrl:NEs, on being told that her
heart was like garden, where flowers
grew when she was good and weeds when
She was naughty, rendered it to the ser
want, "When / an naughty / have Il
weed in my stomach. y
THE Danbury News says: I'VE are
ali more or less cOnccited until after we
travel" Is travel then, a sovereign
remedy for conccit? Dear James, come
west and listen Il few hours some busy
morning to the man who has been at
the centennial.
STRANGER, if you must have pet or
perish, git young hedgehog--a male
one IL preferable and keep him housed
in barrel, and view hm thru the burg-
hole whenever yu feel lonesum, and if
this don't make yu feel happy, it Ger
tainIy amt pets that aiIs yu.-Jo@
billings.
A CERTAIN way to keep ants from
sugar barrels, lard pans anC preserve
jar, gays one who has tried it, is to tic
string wet with kerosene around the
barrel, can or jar. Repeat the wetting
Of the string with the kerosene oil every
few days,
The chap had legs like pair of slate
pencils. Small boy yelled to other small
boy: "Say Billy, that fcller's got a
heap o courage to risk himself out ON
such legs rs them, this weather"
"Why?' Might freeze, break off,
stick in hi+ body and bleed him to death.
ON examining some new flowers in the
garden of the Rev. Sydney Smith beau
timl girl who was OF the party exclaimed,
"Oh. Mr. Smith, this pea will never
come to pcrirction" Permit me, them
said he, gently taking her hand and
walking toward the plant, "To lead per-
iection to the pea"
TINE, beginning Of the year, First
student Go second dittol. "Glad to see
YOU back" second student, $50 glad
you're clad" First student, "Glad
you're glad, I'm glad Second student
$50 glad you're glad I'm glad you're
glad" A realizing scene OF the awful
insanity to which they are drifting here
breaks offthe coliloquy.
AFTER the battle Of Chattanooga the
surgeons made several incisions in the
leg of soldier who had been wounded
in the knee by musket ball. Out of
patience at last, the soldier exclaimed
why are you carving me up so"
"We're trying to find the bal" answer
ed Il surgeon. "Why didn't you ask for
the bail in the first place ?" Indignantly
cried the soldier; "herc it is in my
packet"
The late Jedcdiah Bushnell, pastor of
the Congregational church at Cornwall,
VT, one OF the wisest and best of men,