The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1877-01-11
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

ITEMS OF INTEREST.
DEEP snow ON the Plains.
TIMES quiet in the Black Hills.
PEACH trees are blossoming in
Washington County. Texas.
THERE are times when buzZ-saws are
not in motion, but the only safe way
is to hire some one else to touch one
for you.
A RICH merchant in San Francisco
whipped his son numerically, and the
son has begun a lawsuit to recover
damages.
PRAY for the poor with all your
might, and now. and then throw in a
loaf of bread, basket of potatoes or
barrow of coal.
WHY are our city telegraph poles
like an active octogenarian? Because
they're aged, but not in firm.-N. Y.
Commercial Adcertiser.
A CRIMINAL in a Cincinnati court,
being asked whether he was guilty,
answered: 81 guess am, Judge; but
I'd like to be tried all the same"
THE Danbury Neacs says: "The
modern cook stove is approaching a
degree of perfection which will require
a competent engineer with stated
salary to run it,
Mr.. HUXLEY says that the plesio-
saurus is specially distinguished by its
powerful jaw; but it is due to the COM
munity to state that this assertion was
made before he was married. Nor
acich bulletin.
A LADY who had married an invete-
rate smoker was asked if she had no
prejudice against tobacco, to which she
replied that she had undergone the
smoking process so long that her
prejudice had been perfectly "cured."
A LITTLE boy in Springfield, Mass,
after his customary evening prayer, a
night OF two ago, continued, "and
bless mamma and Jenny and Uncle
Benny" adding, after a moments
pause, the explanatory remark, His
name is Hopkins"
TIE goose bone and muskrat nest
association has held its regular annual
meeting and declared that, notwith-
standing anything Prof. Tice may say
to the contrary, this is going to be an
extraordinary mild and rigorous
winter.-Burlington Haaok-Eye.
TIE genius who will perfect ma
chinery for billiard-playing will save
to young men much time and money.
Bending over tables and pushing balls
by hand is slow and tedious work.
Nelo Orlen7ls Republican.
STEPHEN HALL, a queer but weak
genius, had made frequent gracious
promises to his troubled friends that
he would put himself out of their way.
One stinging cold night he vowed he
would 60 out and freeze TO death.
About eleven o'clock he returned,
shivering and slapping his fingers.
".Why don't you freezeY asked a low
ing relative. "Golly" said the pseudo
suicide. "when freeze mean to take
a warmer night for it."
THE style adopted by Jem Mace of
ducking the head to avoid blows has
always been considered one of his
strongest points. Some years ago a
heavy English hitter remarked in
Mace's presence that his face was not
hard enough for a long fight, and one
good blow on his nose would demolish
it. Mace was standing against wall
at the time, and replied that he would
hold his hands by his side and let the
other hit him square on the nose if he
wanted to, and he would guarantee
that his nose would stand it. The
Englishman let fly terrific blow,
which Mace lodged, allowing the mis-
guided man to smash his hand against
the wall.
| A FRENCH gentleman, who was to
be married, sent his intended bride a
present of diamonds worth $4,000
Wishing to enjoy the qualification Of
his bride, he followed closely on the
heels of his present; and, finding nc
! one in the parlor, ensconced himself
, in a window behind the curtains
Presently whole bevy of girls fut.
| tered into the room, and all begar
f talking at once. "Oh! did you evel
5 see such a beautiful corbeiUes Louise
Y is lucky! What generous husband
: she will havep said one. "She ought
! to be happy, to be sure. But do yor
know what she told me just now
! Why, that she had rather have tht
corbeiue without the gentleman wht
gave it," cit can't be; she nevel
said SOP "She certainly did; ant
there she is-ask for yourself. Louise
didn't you tell me you would rather
have the eorbeiLle alone, without M
Melier?" "Yes, did say SO; bu
: that's between ourselves" "Mucl
: obliged to you, Mademoiselle," said NJ
Melier, coming forward; "you shal
not have either.'' So saying, he COOL.
!. put the splendid present under his arm
and walked off, leaving the ladies il
' an embarrassment "easier conceive'