, 1877-05-24
ssG(k[CE.s'

Tho English language Is often pt1z2lc 10
foreigners, aud sometimes drives even an Amor
ican l,otcl-kcrptr into corner, as for instance
III the following experience Mt tho Fifth Avenue
Hotel, where a wealthy French guest came tn
complain At Tho office, aud was there met by tho
gracious Griawold, who rose to explain:
"What for, tarc, your garcon not present my
dcmandi"
"Your demand. alonstcurf"
ayes, tarc. DO speak lnEtls pcrfait, sarcl
Dc y9 sGMprssnar 1n rne. e ,Sfs !, neroctv correct
my dear ST. What Is Il you .lcsirel'
ivy, sarc, you tell mo can have at ny prt-
vatu tabs wis my frens ratcvcr I desire to nan-
Il Certainly" saItl 0rlswotd: "nnythtnx,-
stewel doubloons md diamond sauce, Il you
"Ah, no, Monsieur, Eat Is too richie. simply
| desire sonlc Grlcc."
"Ehl sumo wllatfn
"So,nc grirc, Monsieur Griswoltl, such AZ
cat ior my dinnay 10 ozar day;" ~
NJ, nA' ~ Is6 SOY v5 nei s,ts 5ex boiled rleee'rta"s
mo; saref il Is not rice. zat is what zat
premier Ear1on-lead waltare- -say. y ls
bird want, sarc; want him roast. not BOIL"
ivporant @ It Of his guests meaning. III don't BE-
llcve there Is single grtce In the market"
"An, you mako u,ecstakc ven you say siHqls
gr.ce."
ayes, sarc. Vat you cnll n 1cctcl rat!''
"Afo,isc,n suggested tho llotcl-pronrictor.
."Ycs. zcpn two Of zcn', vat you cal! two
I "Ynito correct" responded tho host.
"z.n. e one + 70 61!l you cali grouse, two Is
struggl'ng to keep countcnancc; two say two
grouse. just as we Say two sheep or two deer
but for mouse. mice, md"
"Yana, rare" said Monsieur. triumphantty.
"an w not YOU say two lllcc for two hou.ca. or
two ln,,so for two louses, orr low far he
mIght have continued cn,illot b. saEd. but nt
that moment the head clerk, pafmcr,. standing
Carr, ths room.c!crk, walked OF suddenly and
slammed on tho b!g boil, and callcd Tor "front"
70 10 something, and then STUCK his own head
guo,t to or!tcr tile "two grice u for Monsicur's
private table.
QUIps.
Never hire dog. For, as tho poet saYs,
"Lct dogs delight to bark an1 bite" etc.
Little fish havo proper idea Of business.
Not being able to do better, they sturt on q
sn,nlt scale.
A hotel Ii advertised as " kept by the widow
| Of Mr. Brown, who died last summer Oh ncw
and improved PLAN"
A correspondent nays Of q Now Yorker who
failed RECENTLY; :" G0dward hr was very strict,
but tnauwartl he was little twfst!cal."
Can't strluss give us another dance, entitled
"rhc Beautiful Rcd Dann0of' Let It bu II Rel
o. war, this tImc.-4fsw York Commercial Adref-
tstr.
PHI r. Buster Is attempting to cast stain on
the reputation Of Christopher Columbus by
circulating story TINT on q certain occn-
sion lc left his nattvo land "for parts uu-
| KNOWN"
Tho Roumanlnns have been working nccssant-
ly at the katafnt Qualifications, nll llavo mount
Cd sot,Io forty new guns. II tho Turks capture
th!s fort tncY wit haye what one might kalalat
The policemen Ct Now York have organized
nn athletic club. Thtn Il q must salutary step.
and will materially aid tl,cm 10 scaling l'fgI,
burglars.
Jones' has discovered tho respective natures
of distinction md a difference. He says that
"a little tltlercnecn frequently makes mnny
cnenltcs, while ia little distinction attracts
hosts Of frlenla to the ole Oh whom 1t ia C0A.
fcTrcd.
Two young brothers may be as devotelly nj.
tAcllcd to each othur ~ Wero Damon and
pythIas, but you will mover lcar Of one snatch
Ing tho scu,tic from the hands Of the Otle,
n,il insisting upon going down cellar to bring
up tho coal.
When tho foreman Of the composing room
II reset Us Ut yoro. ltc simply slaps 1t Into
tho press aa II lis, and tue Newspaper Is run
OIL With war.map up to tho ayerage.-l'hiE
altsphk1 Uuttths*
Swift was one day in company with young
coxcotnb, who, rising iron, his chalr, sat1, Will
a conccItcl anl confident mir, " would hnv.
you knnw. Mr.. Dean, | set up for a wit" "Dt
! you, indcod," replied the Dean; "thcn take mi
advice and st down again."
AN EErEHPNIS1NG DRUMMER.
.Sortoik CoHaiv (Naas,, uusrst<.
Two drummcrs, agents respectively for rtva
blacking aud .uueilage, were in Hyde rark u