Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1877-06-28
POUR LES DANES.

Mary j. Happy, of New York, has married
Mr.. Sad.
Lucy Stone has ceased active work in the
Toman suffrage cause.
Trains latest 'WOmen are entitled to the
right of being hanged as well as men.
Detroits Oldest woman was an even hun
dred the 18th of May. She's struck out tor
another century.
Women can't stand out on the corners and
swear, but they can stay at home and darn
their husbands old clothes
Ayoung English lady at a party wore a
plain pink dress so tight that when she sat
down she appeared like statue in ice cream.
Mrs. Brooks continues to mold busts in
butter. She leaves the heads hairless, which
shows that she is careful in the selection OF
her material.
One Boston family has changed cooks
fourteen times in three months, and another
family in the same city has had but one cook
in tifty-four years.
An Iowa man, whose wife deserted him,
sued her parents for loss of service, estranged
affections, etc. A considerate jury gave him
ten cents damages.
Life is but tieeting show, existence here
below is brief, but there is nothing so short
in this world as the answer an old maid gives
when asked her age.
The sewing machine agent, sine the patent
run out, has to talk just as much and just as
fast, and tell just as many lies for 1928 as he
used to tell for $135.
Long cloaks Of shepherd plaid, circular
shape, with pointed hoods lined with color,
will be used as travelling cloaks; black and
white and blue checks are the favorites.
A Denver swain, the other day, enraged at
his sweethearts rejection of him, hiI her
over the chignon with sledge-hammer. AS
consequence the young lady uow wears her
hair changed"
The most bitter life of regret was that
which was lived by the excellent lady who
was so hard of hearing that she did not un-
derstand when an offer of marriage was made
to her. We are told this is a fact.
An American lady can dress nicely in Paris
on $500 per year, if she will be content with
six pairs of stockings, aNbonnet and a belt
ribbon. But hows she to keep warm if she
doesn't wear ruffle round her neck.
The painful perplexity and indecision of
the young lady who has the ankle of a Venus
but q foot like an ironing board, as she
cluthes her dress and steps ON muddy cross
ing, as the saddest thing we know of.
A woman will insist that the fashionable
dress does not retard locomotion until she
steps on garter snake, and then she utters
brief but fervent petition for the untram-
meled freedom of the center-pole in circus
tent.
A Boston paper complains that ''classic"
art has reached such q point in Hartford that
mothers have children taken to the photo
grapher in nude condition. Hartford should
either resent this or throw sheet over the |
assertion.
There is town in the northern part of Mas |
sachusetts where the girls are so abundant |
and the beaux are so scarce, that when visit |
from young man is expected the road by |
which he approaches is picketed with females
for several miles, each anxious to have the |
hrst grapple with him.
Paris Snowman recently presented to Ills
son.in-law, as his daughters fortune, an ele-
plant that danced fandango; camel that |
Went down on its knees, head to the east, at
sunset; dog that cast up accounts, and two
cansres that played cards.
worthy mother was overheard the other
Gay Teaching "When George Washington was
young, about as big as l., to her little girl af-
.ef this manner: ''When George Washing
10: ION was little boy. he never would permit
us tongue to tell willful life
The architect who discovers plan where
oy double house may be built so that you
can can hear all that is said next door, without
.he people in the adjoining house being able
10 near word uttered in your side, will have
ness
A man shot at cat. and brought downhi
wife the first time. The most singular mart
IS the wounded woman actually believed that
ne aimed at the cat. One of the most beauti.
iul characteristics of wife is the uuswerv. !
ing confidence she places in the word of her
husband e-
While she sat in the twilight expecting her
Deloved, her hands wandered wistfully over :
me Keys as she sang, Somebody, some
ooay waiting for thee" She was right. The
olu man, with new pair of double uppers +,
front door. .