The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1877-09-11
TUESDAY MORNING, SEPT. II.

TUESDAY MORNING, SEPT. IL.
Everything is Mermaid that comes to my
net
Washington's Nurse was worth two GoriIlas
In the bush.
a Foster in time saves nine out of it.
Make play while the run lasts.
Horse
The uelier the Monster the better the draw.
The more queer Birds of q Feather the more
the Public will flock together.
Truth lies at the bottom OF Sell.
Do, or you will be done by Barnun's
-Aphorisms.
"What kind of house will we play?" asked
one little girl of another. ooh, play calling
replied the other, "Mary here she can be
Mrs. Brown, and sit on the step, and me and
Julia will call on her and ask her how she is,
and how her husband is, and if the baby's got
over the measles, and tell her how nice she
looks in her new wrapper, and hope it won't
hurt her much when she has that tooth filled.
And then we'll Isay: Goodbye Mrs. Brown;
come and see US some time or other and bring
the children and your sewing; and you're such
stranger, we don't see half enough of you
And then me and Julia will courtesy and walk
off piece, and I'll say to Julia: Did you
ever see such horrid old fright as she looks in
that wrapper?' And then Julia she'll say:
The idear of anybody having false teeth filed!
And then I'll say: yes, andsIwhat homely
lot of dirty little brats them young ones of
her'n is Let'slplay.it; what do you say?'
Little lady of seven to young gentleman OF
ten-"You're. not yet a man. No, indeed?'
"Whatl notion! Come near and see how 1
smell of tobacco"
In most places "a stone'sl throw" "five min
utes walk" ETC. arelEused for measures for
short distances. In Dubuquef however, they
speka of place as being "within the bawl of a
MULE
Seven Massachusetts, sewing-machine agents
and fourteen book agents.invaded this county
one day last week. The governor wasl imme-
diately urged to send troops, but he said he
send down couple Of lightning-rod men and a
chrome man, who would talk the invaders to
DEATH Then Burlington just got up and went
over the river and hid In the woods until the
sounds of carnage Sdied away. And as the
pale moon rose up slowly and calmly she
looked down and saw the cold corpses of seven
sewing-machine agents and two lightning-rod
men, while the only creature that roamed
that awful field was a deaf chrome man
in the wild, fierce delirium of the lock. jaw
Hdaokeye.
The use of tobacco does prolong life. A party
of lynchers down South recently postponed the
hanging.ten minutes to allow the victim to fin
ish cigar.
1t is stated as a solemn truth that Indians
never kiss their wives. All, human nature is
the same whether under white or copper
colored complexion. But swhose wives do they
kiss?
Death loves shining mark. Mr. Pollock,
who was the only man in Denver to own bug.
yy in 1862 is dead.
This is copy of letter written by Port
land boy who is up in the country: Billy, why
don't you write me a letter. I am having a
bully time, but have to go TO und on crotches,
for boss rake fell off hay NOW on to me
and spraint my legs. A boy from Bangor
named Hockey boards where do, an me an
him 60 round together and have good time.
We catch frogs down in brook and throw EN-
through the winders onto 1.-THE table and scare
the boarders when they eat; there amt no po-
licemen here and you bet tits fun to tie papers
on to thog and set EN- afire sand hear EN-
squeal. Mr.. Smith was awful mad about it. I
was awful sick last week and have worn out
four pairs of pants since I have been here.
When l left home forgot to let my rabbits
out and l wish you would go into my back
yard and let EN- out, butlI guess they areidead
now and if they are you may have EN- rabbits
cant live three weeks without nothin to eat if
they can they are tuff. 1 have got three tur.
kies and crow and lot of things II shall
bring homs in my trunk if my mother don't
hnd it out. My mother says fret her to death
and says she neverl let me go into the country
with her again. can't write any more for me
and some more fellers is goin down!in the pas
ture and throw stones at some calves. Hockey
broke lot of glass in "a school house, and his
mother paid ten dollars