The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1877-04-22

the Thou shalt not steal knowing that all the
arguments against theft Themselves stolen How
comforting in these condolences which have
been purchased at tenpcnce paragraph must be
When read such things more than half In
ciined TO believe that even cIergymen arc human.
English grammar Is enough TO drive q foreigner
mad. The highway OF general rules is sometimes so
suddenly up into intricate and dangerous sheep
paths exceptions and idoms and irregularities that
suicide takes the form Of fascinating mania II Of
moral duty. What crimes have been committed In
the despair which succeeds the attempt to master tho
difficulties Of tho plural number guess.
Now, remember, though hoeao
In the plural is houses,
The plural OF mouse
Should be mice, and not mouses.
Some men have discovered that there is not only a
plural number in grammar, but also In morals, Tor
when the man who wrote the foregoing mildly con.
nnues-
All OF which goes to prove
That grammar 3 :arce IS;
For where Is tho plural
or rum and molassesf
Tho answer comes from the lips of who has had
large experience With the fiery extra 81 sugar
The plural We say,
or rum don't US trouble;
Take one glass too much
And you're sure 10 sec double
There is very little sense In praying that the Lord
will you what you easily do for yourself If
prayer is found in this dstich:-
With tins hand work and with the other pray
And God will bless them both from day to day.
Woman initiative animal. She has q tendency
to do whatever she sees her neighbor do. II Mrs.
Jones wears diamonds, or comes out in a velvet
costume, or rolls along the avenue in . landau with
yellow Wheels the effect on the mind of Mrs. Brown
who lives opposite, IS that OF a contagious disease.
She suffers from an acute and dangerous attack of
envy and can be cured only by larger diamond, a
longer velvet and coach wheels of brighter yo
low.
The male is also afflicted in the same way to a GER
tain degree Nearly every recolect the suffer-
ing he went through in order to learn smoke like
people. The picture OF our early experiences is
stamped on our memory IN vivid outlines. We were
determined TO be ike other folks, and procured long
pipe and paper of the best tobacco For a lew brief
moments our happiness was complete After that a
film came over our eyes, liquid agony burst from
every PORE and retired seclusIon Of our In
ncrmost chamber to perform the rites OF pioneer in
cause On the whole IL costs less to do as you
have mind 10 than to do other people toll you to-
George Francis Train seems to BIO the only man OF
the great company OF evolutionsts who is personally
experiencing the advantages of the various stages Of
psychological progress He is undergoing such rapid
changes that he declares he does not know his own
mind during any five consecutive minutes He has
withdrawn from the maelsrom Of politics the serene
and pastoral joys or Union square, He does not wish
any woman to speak to him lest his ontact
with their moral atmosphere should impede the cvou-
tionary processes but he is willing TO talk to children
and explain their unrreudiced minds the volcanic
theory OF protopiasmic development This tender.
heared philosopher will have free dictionary for his
classes and expects that the generation will be
properly trained. II some other politicians should
tire duty and sit the sunshine OF Union
square the country might be saved
We have laughed again and again over tho logic OF
the poor colorcd slave who summoned his mas
tcrs dying bed told that In consideration OF his
faithful and lifelong services no should be- freed no
placed IN the white mans vault whom he died. Hc
refused the honor because forsooth whom Satan
round TO wake up his own he mieht mako q mistake
and wake up the wrong He was willing to serve
his during h!e bu, in death he wanted TO be
alone, SO that when his called nobody could
claim his place. The part OF tho story Is that
he seemed TO DO reasonably OF the white mans
future well as OF his
The Baptsts have recently discussed and settled a
very important question. 1t is now definitely known
that the millions OF heather arc TO be eternaly
damned for knowing what IL has heretofore been
impossible for them to ind out During the discus
sion some asked II rich man who believes this
would with tho Same condemnation II he re-
fused TO give his money TO send missionaries among
shesc doomed nations. The rich Baptist, however,
continues to ride in his carriage the avenue and
lets tie heather take their chances Such sight,
after such declaration OF belief Is enough to make
inhdc eel that II he isn't right he ought to be-
The Examiner and Chronicle INDUCES in a little
mild statements concerni ing the re-
ordination OF Rev. Mr. Haynes, who has just entered
the Baptist ministry. The gentleman was ordained
according to the forms OF the Methodist Church. but
when he changed his UNCONVENTIONAL relations IL was
decreed that his ordination invalid. We simply
suggested that when man Is consecratod by one
branch OF the Christian Church, and ingcs his ncd
OF labor, hts conservation holds good II VIC are all
brethren, as we pretend 10 be. The Examiner aud
Chronicle says he was ordained as a Methodist. and
nothing else. We humbly confess our error. wesup-
posed that he ordained TO the Christian ministry
shat he TO work in the Methodist branch or IT,
H. however, he was made nothing but Methodist and
not Christian he should certainly bc ordained over
again Let not have second biunder, though This
time let the elders TO II that he is ordained as
Baptist only We are heartily sorry to have been la