, 1877-12-02

ILA$1lNS.''
Burlington Hu,ckeye.
,tsEfastOthcues," asked his master, CALI
n,aclus, one morning when they were taking
their mornings morning down near the Temple
Of Hephsestus,- Era5tothenes. why is tnc-just
little more dash OF the bitters, Johnnv-yhy
is the bread-bow Of the Ptolemies like this
obclisk of Rameses!'' sis 1t auythiug.n asked
Erastothenes, Watching the man behind the
counter slice the lenon,-"1s Is it anything about
putting up q stove!" s'No,'' was the replr
ais it anything about neither OF them being
able to climb a trce2'' "No.' "Thcn," said
said the poet, 1T is Cltopatra's kneadle." And
then these two great men looked long and
sllcntlv into their glasses, and stirred them in
an distracted manner, until Calll1uachus re-
marked, '.Wcll, here's at your and they leaned
back their heads with 4 gur..ing sound while
the fragrant breath Of a lemou-pcel Aoated of
on the morning air like Z dream Ut the Tropics.
The world is not what it used to be.
1t WIS u dismal, rainy DAY in December.
Socrates, who had no umbrella, and in TACT
didn't have time to live until the first one was
,,aie, stood on the front steps Of his house,
drawing his cloak around him, before ye1lturing
down the street. From the opposite side Ut the
street bis friend TheramenS. passing By, faEul-
iary halted lin as ''Soe,'' and shouted: = Blus
fcry this uorniue.n ayes replied the ul,ffos-
opher, tsit's cold.'' "Hey!" suddenly shot the
voice OF Xautippe from a secuud story win
Bow,-''h hev! what's tlat:' IL saiu," exclaimed
Socrates, promptly throwing up his guard, aud
it's scold. tSaid WHAT" was the sharp re-
joinaer; "you sar that again, aud say it SLOW"
:.it's cold," repeated the philosopher;
its scold; it's cold Us thunder" said. There
Was moments silence, during which Aantippc
appeared to be buried in profound thought,
while the great disciple Of Anaxagoras occupied
the painful interval BY girding up his loins and
tucISius his trousers in the tops Of his bouts,
and making other preparations Tor lively run.
Presently there came from the window: "You
hold OH there Il minute, young man; till come
down. want to see you second before go
down town" There was 1lerce, rapid Tapping
OF Attic sandals upon tue wet pavement, the
wild rush Of Il cloakcd figure through tho pclt-
explaining to Plato aud Nenophon that he had
chased street-c1r all the way from the Peiraic
gate, and was clear out Of BREATH
"Peucestas," said Lconatus, one day. when
the all-conqucring army OF Alexander was on its
march to MalIi,-" Peuces;as, wny is the crur-
cestas was buried in deep thought for q moment.
81 Because it has no pocket to put it fnt'' be-
venturcd timidly. .Saw! ;; roarea the son Of
rella Map behind ths counter;' m pursuea pan,s
Shades of my fathers, moi" "Becausc its
iptirmt" Leouatus only made despairing
gesture. "Bccause it's slope ups" Leon
atus made motion to strike him and Peu-
cestas said he wouldn't guess any more, and he
couldn't see why horsc's crupper was like
ships anchor sN'c1l, it is" replied Lcouatus,
t.bec,use it'sat the end of the hawser.'' (which
endt" presently Peucestas inquired, with
show OF interest. And then Leonatus looked i
long way of, and said that the peculiar appear
ancc OF the clouds and the humidity Of the at
mosphere indicated considerable areas OF dis
turbanccs, with right smart Of mean tempera-
ture ut local points.
CONFEDERATE DEPRIVATIONS.
Hrs H. r. Handy In Paitad<1phia Weekly I1mes.
During Gen. Sheridan's last raid Gen. Custer
and his staff stopped over night at the house OF
q planter in Fluvanna County, Va. Haughtily,
ret courteously, after the fashion Of well-bred
people who cannot help themselves, the best in
the house vas placed at their disposal. Among
the first Of Custer's requirements was bath,
and tubs and water, with homespun towels, were
readily forthcoming. Not 80, however, were
= f.S.& tha Gan.