The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1877-10-13
WITTICISMS.

WITTICIsMs.
GRANT was toasted on the Tyne YES
terday. Sing, "Hold the Fork -
Graphic.
"PLL get at the root of this thing"
said the dentist to a man with the tooth
ache.
OUT in the Black Hills the three de-
grees OF comparison are said to be "mine,
miner, minus"
WHEN you detect Glove in the breath
look out for the cloyen foot.-Boston
Post.
DANBURY Neacs:: at was Brigham
Young's eldest son who wrote the line,
What is home without mother%
ONE of the advantages of being ne
gro is that the color of your nose don't
give you away.-OI city Call
every cloud has a silver lining"
and many man wishes his pocketbook
was good-sized, healthy cloud.
WHAT can be more wonderful than
the grass?" says California newspaper
We think well-developed Canada thistle
takes the palm for startling effects.
HARPER's Bdzar says that the four
boxes that rule the world are the ballot
box, the jury box, the the cartridge box,
and the band box.
TURKISH officer to Egyptian soldier
You are no longer in the pay of the
Viceroy of Egypt, but in mine" "That
means, then, that Pm to have nothing"
THEY are going to dramatize the
Tweed revelations. An opera has al
ready been composed about him" Will
liam Tel" -PhaadeIphia Bulletin.
LEAVE your razors at home for fear
you will fall on them," is the warning
at the end of a Tennessee colored picnic
hand-bill.
THE Madisonville, KY, Times advises
the girls to chew sweet potatoes, as they
are said to contain large per centum of
gum.
AND now we hear still, small voice
saying: 1.-The nasty moths have just
ruined my furs. Any sensible man will
know what is expected of him.
MENNY man." remarks Josh Bill
lings, " has reached the summit ov fame,
and then lookt down into the humble
valley he cum from, and longed to be
back agin."
YESTERDAY afternoon, tramp who
was locked up for stealing soup bone
and three pairs of trowsers, admitted to
the officer who arrested him that he was
Osman Pasha.-Hawkeye
AS most of our citizens appear to be
in the Turkish army, considerable
anxiety is naturally felt as to who are
going to shake the carpets this fall
Danbury Neaos.
LABOR LOsT.-A book agent the other
day talked half an hour to induce a
lady to buy book. She handed him a
slip of paper on which was written
lime defe ond dunn"
CHEER up; times will be easier when
the professional base ball players quit
for the season and begin to put their
boarded wealth in circulation. Worces-
ter Press.
RUSSIAN to Turk, who receives bayo-
net-thrust-" But, my poor Turk, you
don't appear to objectn Turk" 1t is
the first time in eight days that any
thing has gone into my stomach"
WHEN Michigan butcher, new to the
business, was asked for mutton-chops, he
replied that they had left all the sleeps
heads at the slaughter-house, regarding
them as worthless.
CAPTAIN" said son of Erin, as a
ship was nearing the coast in inclement
weather, "heave we a almenic on board"
" No, | haven't" "Then, be iabers, we
shall have to take the weather as it
comes"
A ROMAN who recently returned from
Philadelphia informs us that the Keely
motor consists of pound of boarding
house butter shut up in an iron box.
This statement will do much to restore
confidence in the power of the motor
Rome Sentinel.
SHE stepped out of the cars few
minutes, leaving book in the seat, but
on returning went to the wrong pew, and
inquired of placid old lady: care you
sitting on THAT Husband of Mine!" :"
Good gracious! Mo-" exclaimed the
old lady, jumping up and scanning the
seat with rigid scrutiny.-Rome Sentinel
WHEN a Boston girl "sets' at her
husband she says: Base tyrant, shall
leave thee, and fly to my parental
home!" When Chicago girl becomes
similarly affected, she simply remarks:
"Old man, | am going to git away; and
if you don't like it, just climb up on
your eyebrows and see if you can stop
mel"
WHEN the substantials of her dinner
had been disposed of by her visitors, Mrs.
Clementina Fidelia Dobbs said to her
hired girl. CHOW, Betty, you may
bring on the Sahara" "Mum?" 1.-The
desert, stupid" Yis num-" AS
Betty descended toward the kitchen she
might have been heard to say: 90,
murdtherl see the style of her now, wild
all her foine French words. Faith, Eve
a moind to give her taste of me Irish"