davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-03-23

A CARPENTER IN THE SENATE.-The
most remarkable man in many respects is
Senator JONES' of Florida. He is a young
Irishman, who came to this country as a
carpenter, and for several years he pushed
the humble plane and turned the unobtru-
sive auger in Pensacola. When about
twenty.one years of age he determined to
study law. He commenced reading Black
stone between work hours, and was soon
admitted to the bar. He soon went to the
head of his profession, was sent to the
Legislature, and thence to the United
States Senate. Curiously enough, lie is
one Of the best constitutional lawyers in
the Senate. After listening to Jones'
speech on the constitutional power of the
Senate to take hold Of Mr. Belknap, Mr..
Thurman pronounced it marvellously
close and correct argument, stating that
It had changed his views. And this about
Il man that fourteen years ago was a jour
neynan carpenter
In person Mr.. Jones is tall, brawny,
clean 4hayen, red-iaced, with frank, open
look, appearing rot over thirty years of
age, and resembling an Irish prize-fg hter
more than anything else. lie is certainly
Il wonderful man The Floridians fairly
worship him, his seat in the Senate is
perpetuity as Tong rs he wants it, They
say Conkling is the ablcst man in the Sen
ate, and Jones the next best --Atiauta Con-
StttUti0B
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-03-23
THE sREZS.
BEL AIR, FRIDAY, MAR. ,23 1877.


THE sREZS.
BEL AIR, FRIDAY, MAR. ,23 1877.
Some Odd Things in Epitaphs.
It is said that the following epitaph
comes from California, but it is Il remark
able piece of antiquated mortuary humor ::
"In memory ov
John Smith, who met
Wierlent death near this spot
IS hundred and 40 too. He was shot
by his own pistol:
1t was not one of the new kind
but old fashion
brass barrel, and of such is the
Kingdom of Heaven"
The following is another example of the
rather loose way the engravers of the
cpitaphs manage to tumble up with the
text Scriptural quotations, and it has the
advantage Of being apparently genuine
1t is copied from a tombstone in Pennsyl-
vania-
"Battle of Shiloh,
April 6, 1862.
John D. L was born March 26, 1889,
in the Town of West Dresden, State OF
New York, where the wicked cease from
troubling and the weary are at rest"
The effort to compress within the space
of a small epitaph the cost of cutting each
letter being matter Of serious considera-
ton in many cases. a description of the
cause of death very frequently leads to
curious results, as witness the following
from n churchyerd in Glastonbury, Conn.,
"Here lies one who's
Lifc's threads cut
Assunder; she was
Struck dead by clap
of thunder"
The writer copied some years ago three
lines from the stone over the grave of a
littles@irl, the first who was killed in the
Glasgow streets by the stages, or omni.
buses dSrthey are called there-which also
were of practically descriptive character
They are as follows
Here lies the body of Jane Gray,
The manner of her death was thus:
She was driv over by bus"
The confusion of sentences sometimes
leads to curious mistakes, as witness the
following from a cemetery near Cincin.
matt
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-03-23

Who came to this city and died
for the benefit of his health"

VIVW
for the benefit Of his health"
This is as fine as the closing sentence of
the epitaph on the gravestone of a station.
master who was killed on the Glasgow and
Southwestern Railroad near Kilmanock
in Ayrshire, some twenty years ago
lie died accomplishing in
No pain without medical add
Here is n very fair specimen of the blum.
dering bull class Of epitaphs. 1t is from
the Catholic buryng ground at Keeseville,
New York
q Here lies tile bodies of two sisters dear;
Ones buried in Ireland the other lives here"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-03-23
near Richard McDonald's.

Length of Bridge between the abutments
"a feet, width IA feet, All timber used in
the construction to be Of good sound white
oak. The bridge to have king post in the
middle, and the cross beam to be supported
by iron stirrups attached to posts and passing
around the beam.
The floor to be laid with good two-inch
white oak plank. The old abutments to have
two feet added to their length on the up.
stream ends and one of the wing walls to be
2G and the other "a feet long
The filling up and completing it for public
travel to be included in the contract and
when the work is finished to be subjected to
inspection and approval by the Commission
ers, or any person they may appoint for that
purpose.
Proposals will also be received at the same
time for building
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-03-23


ONLY TWENTY FIVE CENTs--WUo
TAKES THE NEXT ?--Theres a wandering
genius around the Central Market who has
for sale an article described by him to the
public in loud tone as follows:
" Gentlemen, British nobleman invent.
ed this article, and he spent eighteen years
thinking and experimenting over it. You
viii observe that it is glass cutter, a can
opener, a sharpener, putty knife, n
scissor sharpener, iack knife, a nailc clean.
er and bread-knife combined, It is light.
durable compact, beautiful and conven-
lent, and the price is only twenty i've cents
Who takes the next"
lie was talking away yesterday forenoon,
when hard-handed son of toll approach
ed and asked to inspect one of the articles
The man explained its merits and uses,
commented on its different uses, and add
ed
You want one, of course ~
i guess not" said the farmer.
Why 2"
"Oh, it doesn't seem to be of much use. y
Great spoons but haven't l explained
to you that it can be used for eight differ
cnt purposes What more can you ask 2"
Wall, it seems to me that you ought to
have corn-sheller hitched on to it some
where p slowly replied the agriculturst,
and he laid it down and walked away.
-
VERBENA RUsT.-Much inconvenience
has been suffered by limited flower grow
crs. from q prevalence of what is called
" Verbena Rust" 1t has been found in
many instances, that powdered charcoal
and sulphur, lightly busted on the leaves
and on the earth around the plant, is both
q preventive and remedy for this rust
The microscope has revealed the fact
that very minute insect is the cause.
The sulphur kills these, and the charcoal
helps the plants TO more vigorous growth
and to revive from injuries.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1877-08-25

Canned baked beans are now to he
seen upon the grocer's shelves by the
side of luscious native and foreign
canned fruits. What Il saving would
have been effected to the pockets Of our
Massachusetts, friends had this happy
thought dawned upon the Yankee brain
a year earlier, and what overlooking
pockets would have repaid the Gamer.
With canned beans to he eaten under
shady trees, and in the sheltered places
tor at the Centennial could have snap
ped his fingers ut restaurants and de-
fed boarding house keepers. 1t would
have been a missionary enterprise, too,
for such is the benighted ignorance of
housekeepers outside of New England
that they bake beans. whenever they
venture to attempt the preparation of
this esculent, in shallow sheet iron pans
for an hour or two, and suppose they
know the dish. Beans baked twelve
hours in n brick oven would have been
a revelation to them, even if served
cold. But when we reflect that there
would have been no brown bread to
accompany them, we are not sure that
the triumph would have been immedi-
ate, for the true brown bread is indigo
nous to New England, and is never
found elsewhere except when some
Yankee housekeeper has strayed from
her native habitat.
We incline 10 forgive Boston Il
good deal of presumption, but when
we read upon the bean ans n notice
that a patent has been applied for, we
think it is going a ''leetle" too far.
The invention of alright cans is al
ready secured, and we trust that even
a Bostonian will not have the assurance
to claim that he invented beans. He
might as well claim that he invented
Plymouth Rock, while his great grand
mother would turn in her grave with
Indignation if he asserted the art of
preparing this standard dish had
not been handed down
from generation to generation
| since the Pilgrims found out their fam
inc year that in emergencies man can
live on beans alone. Why, ever mex
perienced men have been known to
cook beans so well that they could he
told from those prepared by feminine
hands, only by those f~astidious and
captious women who will never admit
that men can rival them in gas
tronomy.
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1877-08-25
The Foe of Pam

The friend of suffering humanity-the
enemy of disease, and the ~sdlrdtion of
the patient brute, is MEXICAN Mus
TANG LrNIMENT. There is no sore it
will not heal, no ache or pain it will
not Danish. For accidents in the fam
lily, such as burns, scalds, sprains, cuts,
ETC., it has no rival. 1t has saved
more human lives, and restored more
horses, oxen and other cattle, to useful
ness and profit, than all other liniments
put together. may27- d3tawaw6m
The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1877-08-25


ste0gH3e with the world after her un-
fortunate step tan years before Is sub
'stantially rs follows: She n Mills
had arranged to elope the day before
they went away. She was to go to
Indiana, obtain a divorce, meet Mills
wherever he might be then, marry MIN
and follow his fortunes. AT wheeling
he tried to induce her not TO waste Time
in getting a divorce, Dut 10 go Win
him at once. she refused. lie Went
to st. Louis and b started direct for
Indiana. She applied Tor n divorce NJ
Lafayette, through 4 lawyer named
Bowditch. she had not long 10 walt
for IT, Mhis wrote her IRON oehtrai'
Col. she went 10 that place at once
met with, ana they were married ny
Rev. X. Whitehead' an Episcopal
minister. fhey renamed III Oehtrai
CITY ayear, living cohtehteoiy together'
Mills prospering IN supplying MINER
with stores. linen ne zen III Will
gamblers, anu wasted All MS gains anu
iost his business. he Degan 70 'rea'
ms wiie with cruei'y, anu hapi'u"y
.auii'eu her WIN nei eiopeo
MN. FROM oehtrai ivy '"ey ieeu
70 oorihhe, olan' anu ,ioI, ''e
Sai1 Lake olty. 10 this ia..er pia'
a' hls' reluseu u so' pu' Niiis
eueu 10 Nm her uniesS SUE wen. '
AL SAT- Lahe, Miiis anu Din o
opeheo againpIihe nouse i"
prostituIioh' N 'ie ia''e,
MS wife ac' as no're
Two years 'hey i'eu III ,',.
VIE peng sup'eo'eu W h go
ing anu o'hel 'iuei's' -.
)oineo 'he Niorinohs anu sa', W
gaihoiing piaee ioi .ii'e s'
Two othef wives III 'ho ho"'o "r
tnree aays. was 'he
al Outlets 'ha' .ne " VIM
given up al ioi Aii' .o"iu "o' 800
ana sue neu ironi MS mouse one nsn'
IN Ine rali Vi io'l' TAi.ei 'iiee
Oh harusnl anu perm SIG
DenVer. she was Waitress III u,
room .here ior eigh'een nao'ns "m ~
sue was 'here MILLS was sro' anu ~
py oiney, MS PARTNER, ~ ~
men sue went as ~N
Hnsllsu iauy " ne" neo'
W oensef I0'a. SNe sV"1'eu " ~
noi nv ~ 'n'" N
WIN iesei' ono uSo' Up !"
Deioie sue ieooseie' tei o"o We"
oneieu .he posi'ion Vi .ns ~
P"nioh III hh'"i'" i""S' ""o' ~"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25
A Huge Snake in the Sky.

A North Carolina paper says 1t was
just after the heavy clouds of floating
mist had begun to break away, and at
half-past six in the evening, that huge
snake drew up from the west and
stretched itself from west to east, about
two miles south Of this town. At that
distance it appeared to be about a foot
and half thick in the middle, tapering
towards the head and tail. Allowing
for its surpentine curves we judge this
monster to have been about two miles
long. In its movements, straight
line drawn from the tip Of its tail would
nave measured one mile and half.
Several Of our citizens viewed this at
mospheric creature with astOnished
eyes for over half an hour, until curry
ing it's head toward the northwest it
seemed to wind over the Coosa River
and passed out Of sight in the direction
of Gadsden and Rome.
That no one may by misled be this
item we will say that this wonderful
thing appeared just as we described it.
Yet it was not reptile Of flesh, bones
and blood, but misty formation exact
ly in the shape of a serpent-a thing OF
mist, which may have been dissipated
in to invisible infnitesimals long be-
fore it reached the beautiful, winding
Coosa, and, therefore, was not related
to the monster seen on several Occa-
sions on that stream by divers good
people living near the same.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25

the United States, | received from Eng
land, the gift of these ladies, costly
diamond pin as a token of their graft
tude"
These are but few of the interesting
and varies, "reminiscences with which
General Shields entertains his listeners
in public and private. For the benefit
of those curious to know something of
the personal appearance of the man, it
may be stated that he is of medium
size, hale and hearty, though sixty-seven
years of age, with keen eye and some
thing like the 'brogue" in his speech
His residence is at Kansas~City, Mo.
He speaks without the least bitterness
towards any of his contemporaries,
either in civil or military life, and
evinces the warmest interest in the
prosperity and welfare of his adopted
country.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25
Effect of Organ-Playing Upon Nervous
Man.

A Philadelphian (evidently not a
lover of "music") thus describes a
young lady Of that city who is expert
menting with new organ: When the
average young woman gets home the
new forty-five dollar organ she makes
that hurdy-gurdy and the whole neigh
borhood howl AS a rule, she has been
taking music lessons for about five
weeks land what she lacks in expert
ence she determines to make up in
practice. There's a girl of that sort up
on Tenth street, and she does everlast-
ingly whang the new organ. She gets
at it early in the morning, and she is at
it late in the night. But Sunday is her
favorite day. It's quiet then, and she
thinks the neighborhood wants rest.
So, in the morning, she whoops up the
'Angel's Whisper" and after a while
she goes in on the vocal and grinds out
''There is b-u-t-if-u-l home over thar. +"
She ''Holds the Fort" all day, and in
the evening remarks, ri hear an angel
coming" and that "angep gets in and
the organ gets fresh banging as she
yanks more groans out Of it, while she
and the young man below at the top
of their voices. It's lively while it lasts,
but how fervently it makes the people
pray for the Sweet By-and-by?'
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25

A HOME FOR EVERY FAMILY. Secure
to each family, whose labor may acquire
it, little spot of fresh earth that it may
call its own-that will be an asylum in
time Of adversely, from which the mother
and the children, old age and infancy,
can draw sustenance and obtain protec-
ton, though misfortune may rob them
of all else, and they feel they are still
free, still entitled to walk the earth and
breathe the free air of heaven, in de-
fiance Of the potency and power of &C
cumulating wealth and domineering of
the pretending and ambitious. The
sacredness Of that cOnsecrated spot will
make them warriors in time of external
strife. "These shocks of corn" said
Xenophon, inspire those who raised
them to defend them The largest of
them in the field is prize exhibited in
the middle of the state to crown a con-
queror." Secure a home to every fam
lily whose labor may obtain one, against
the weakness, vices, Or misfortunes of
fathers, and you rivet the affection of
the child, in years Of manhood, by a
stronger bond than any consideration
that could exist. He will remember
where he gamboled in his youth, the
stream upon whose Howery banks he
felt mothers love, and the green spot
within that little homestead where sleep
the loved and lost.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25
The Four Per Cents.

The subscriptions to the 4 per cent.
loan amount SO far to about $4,000, 900,
or nearly three times the sum of the
bonds originally offered for SALE The
success of the movement for returning
the public debt is assured. The sur
prise at this result seems to be general,
but as we anticipated something of the
kind, and said as much, when the loan
was put upon the market, we do not
share in this surprise. Neither are we
inclined to accept the explanations
which are now offered to account for
the result. It is not because of the
hard times or any feeling of panic that
people are willing to invest their capital
surely at the low rate of 4 per cent.
1t is simply because the day of small
things is really upon us. The era of
bold investments, quick and exorbitant
returns and colossal fortunes made by a
touch of Aladdin's lamp has passed
away; the day Of cautious operations,
slow and moderate earnings and modest
possessions has dawned Speculation
has had it's time, and we may now look
to see money fairly earned in produc-
tive enterprises by patient and industri-
Gus men, and carefully guarded when
it has been acquired. The disposition
to invest in the per cent loan shows
that the people are making up their
minds to adapt themselves to the
changes In the circumstances Of the
nation, and to cease to look for the
profits which were to be reaped in a
new country and under the stimulus of
an unnatural political and social state
Things are settling down to the solid
earth after the excitement and ballooning
of the past fifteen years; and now that
the ground has been struck they will
probably move on with the even mo-
ton of affairs in an old land, where
men are economical in their expen-
ditures, satisfied with fair wages and
contend with low rates of interest on
safe investments. It is more than
doubtful whether even SO much as
gleam of the old times will ever come
back, and it is utter folly to be talking
as if they might return to us at any
moment in some mysterious way. If
we ever wake up in the morning to
find ourselves dazzled again by them it
will be after years of patient acceptance
of the hard labor, careful investments
and moderate returns which the present
era calls for. The subscriptions to the
4 per cent. loan simply show that men
are adjusting themselves to the limita-
tons of the day Of small things That
is the first condition of new era of real
and healthy national prosperity, and
we hail its advent with unfeigned salts
faction.-New York York.
tl-ta3 40
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25

How a Philadelphia Minister Disgraces
~ his Calling.

The case of the Rev. Bott' of Fish
town, suburb of Philadelphia, is occu-
plying public attention again. It will
be rememberd that Bott was pastor of
the Twelfth Baptist church; that he was
charged with too intimate relations
with Miss Younger, and that the &C.
clesiastical jury in his case disagreed.
or rather found him not guilty, with
the injunction that he must not do it
again. Bot has a young and pretty
wife, and she stuck to him through all
his trouble. So far from being grateful
for this, Bot has insisted on keeping
up the acquaintance with Miss Young
er; has refused his wife the money she
needed; has choked her on at least one
occasion, etc, etc, SO that she recently
left him and went home to her ma.
Not only this, but Bolts congregation
has dwindled very rapidly, and some of
his witnesses have confessed that in the
late trial they lied in his behalf, having
been hired to do SO by Bott himself.
Last Tuesday night Bott held an expert
ence meeting of his adherents in the
church. He asked the brothers and
sisters present to relate what God had
done for them, butn one rose. Finally
the reverend gentleman got up and
said:
cob, brothers and sisters, this shows
that the hatred in your hearts against a
certain sister has closed even the ave-
nues of speech, and you can't get up
and talk for Jesus. Here is Miss
Younger, who has been regular mem
Der of the church, aiding us in all con-
certs and suppers and festivals, and who
has worked in the vineyard Of the
Lord while you have been sitting with
your hands in your laps, believing all
the scandal arrayed against her and
your beloved pastor" One of the Sis
tiers here arose and walked out, remark
ing outside that she had not gone to
church to be insulted, and as for kissing
Miss Younger, she was not going to do
it. Now, brothers and sisters" con-
tinued Bolts, 'stand up. Now do.
Let us be harmonious; let us all pull to-
gether." .
A scene not down in the bills now
took place. The Philadelphia Times de-
scribes it:
But here the speakers voice and man
ner changed: He threw his hands
above his head, and the sanctimonious
whine was heard no more, as he excit-
edly exclaimed "This meetings
closed This meetings closed T"
Turning about, the congregation saw
Mrs. Bolts quietly walking up the mid
die aisle. Miss Younger and number
of other persons quietly left the church,
but Mrs. Bolts had evidently business
with the preacher alone. Confronting
him, she talked to him as only an in
jured wife could talk. Her husband,
however, appeared not to notice her,
and, walking down one aisle and up the
other, he began extinguishing the lights,
exclaiming to those who remained:
You should not listen to the gossip of
a woman-she is a bad women" But
Mrs. Bolts did not cease her TRADE,
even when the church was in darkness.
She charged her husband with having
infringed his nuptial VOWS and behaving
as no pastor should behave. When she
said all she wanted to say, Mrs. Bolts
returned to her mothers house.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25
How It Strikes the Britishers.

The decline in Pennsylvania Railroad
stock does not strike the Britishers
very favorably. This is what the
London World has to say in regard to
the matter:
F." Pennsylvania railroad stock is Is
per cent lower to-day in America than
it was in June, 1876. Does anyone sup
pose that the depreciation has been
without good cause? A man must be
very confident indeed in his own judg-
ment who ventures to stand up and
pledge his word as to the true condition
of a11y American railroad We have
compared the prices of leading stocks
ruling in New York and Philadelphia
this month and the corresponding
month of last year; the figures speak
for themselves:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25

The session of the Irish Methodist
Conference, which opened at Cork,
June 20, was distinguished by the fact
that layman appeared in it for the first
time as members. The ministerial
Conference met first, and attended to
matters purely ministerially; in the
mixed Conference which followed, the
temporal affairs of the Church were dis
cussed and determined.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25
Deprecia

We have selected these roads for COM
parlson, because they stood among the
Wealthiest and best in the whole coun-
try. This is what happened in one
year. Can anybody say that the suspi-
clons and uneasiness expressed by Eng.
lish investors and re-echoed by English
journals are unnatural?" sls se
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25

A WESTERN editor remarks that he is
glad to receive marriage notices, but re-
quests that they be sent soon after the
ceremony and before the divorce is APP
piled for. He has had several notices
spoiled in this way.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25

Senator Conkling is sojourningr in
Scotland, and writes to his friends that
his health is steadily improving.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-07-25
There's many hard-up fam-i-lee-
There many who want for bread;
But I'm sandy, sanguine. cheerful wife,
Who'll never give up till dead. -

of you hear tussle in here this eve
ming don't interfere. I've got a hand
full of snuff all ready for the old mans
eyes, and it'll nearly kill me to see him
feeling around for club with one hand
and digging his eyes with the other.
Well tra-la. "-Detron Free Press.