The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1877-05-03
Bob Ingersoll's Ghosts.

Inc unaccountable Bob lngerSoll, in
his Brooklyn lecture, said:
"All governments were administered
through the ghosts. The earth was
ruled bypotentates and other parasites,
and nobody had right to be king I'M
less some of ths holy petroleum had
been poured upon his head. Mankind
had no voice in the matter; to rebel
against king was to rebel against
the ghosts. The many lived in huts,
that the few might live in palaces; the
many dressed in rags that the few
might wear purple aud gold; and all
this injustice was done in the name of
the ghosts. But, mark you, the ghosts
lied all this time. The ghosts said Il e
earth was fiat that eclipses were proofs
of sin; that to look through telescopes
was wicked, and digging down into
the earth, to say the least, waste of
time.
Eyes, the ghosts lied" he contin-
ued, land will always lie. 1 read in
a book once, l don't know where, but
l read it, that man was made first,
and then, as the French trans
late it, a outlet was taken out
of him and of this outlet woman
created, who tempted the man to sin,
who in his turn blabbed on her.
never liked that story. l don't know
whether it is true or not, but l never
liked it. Now, I'll tell you another, and |
think prettier story, that l read some
where else. The Supreme Brahma
made man and a woman. He didn't
make the woman out of scrap; she
was complete job by herself. After
making this couple he put them on the
Island of Ceylon and allowed them to
become acquainted with each other.
(Mr. Ingersoll drew beautiful picture
of her happiness among the birds and
flowers with a corresponding absence
of motherir laws.) And they fell in
love and married. That's good. any
way. believe in 'oye before marriage
But the Supreme Brahma commanded
that they should not leave the island.
The man, however, got up big desire
to go West, and the devil knowing
this tempted him with a mirage,
and seeing a narrow strip of land
leading to the mainland, the man per
suaded the woman to leave the island
with him. When they got to the main
land, they found it only a barren
waste. Thereupon the man fell on his
face and confessed his fault, and that
he tempted the woman, for which con-
fession the Supreme Brahma allowed
them both to live. Now, don't say
which of these stories is true. don't
say either of them is, but l will
solemnly declare that like the last one
great deal the best"
Pereeiving perhaps less applause
than he had expected at this point, the
lecturer fastened to explain that his
position was that of a man who values
and demands liberty of thought and
expression above anything else. "Yes,
l KNOW" he said, I'VE are told that
there is nothing like having our minds
like a serene little pond, with the
green scum rising slowly but surely on
its placid surface, which is never dis
turoed by breeze or thought. That
is what they call being anchored, but
| don't like it.
'There is another thing 1 believe"
the Colonel continued; ~ won't say
am certain of i'll think in relation to
it / stand about eight to seven--and
that is the notion that man came up
from the lower animals. I can't ac-
count for his meanness in any other
way. At first / didn't like the idea,
but finally | became reconciled to it.
| said to myself, I'd rather come from
the most insignificant protoplasm and
keep getting better than to have been
made perfect in the first place and lost
money every day since"
The Colonel here became serious,
and said that his only religion was lib
erty; that this world was good enough,
and considerably too good to swap for
some shadowy city on high. When he
reads history and thinks upon the hor-
ror of religious superstition, he thinks
1t is time for the ghosts to fold their
robes of white around their fieshless
bones and vanish from the thoughts of
men. IF l haven't got the right to
think" he said, "what was I given a
thinker fori The dullest fact is more
beautiful than a prisnatic lie. Man
wants facts now. Well, it 10 q fact
that the only prayer ever really an
swered is labor. Away with the
ghosts. l want little children to be
able to go 10 sleep as flowers close,
without any thoughts of hell and pun
ishmeDt, and | swear by all the ghosts
and gods to do what can 10 make the
world really free"