The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1877-03-29

The less a man knows, the higher
he tries to climb on other peoples
lsdders.-Ddn6Ury NetUs.
"Have you heard my last scng ?"
asked music writer OF gruff critic.
81 hope So" was the reply.
An Irish waiter, speaking of q
lady's black eyes, says: "They are
mourning for the murders they have
com mmitted."
The days and ladies' bustles have
grown much longer within the last
six weeks-especially the ladies' bus
tles.-NOrristOlCR Herald.
Old Boreas of late acts Just like 8
member of Congress. He blows so
hard when there is DO apparent
necessity for it.-NOrristO1CH Herald.
General Washington couldn't tell a
lie, and in this respect he differed
materially from General Washington
DIspatches.-NorTiStO1OH Herald.
A Kansas politician was struck by
/ lightning, but his skull wAs so thick
that the Tiuid glanced off and killed a
fine Kentucky stslIion.-DGn6ITy
NelCs.
A story in one of the late English
magazines is called "OWen, the Milk
man." Rather a commonplace title.
There are so many persons OWN the
Milkman, you know.-NorristOlCR
Herald.
An Irish major recently declared in
a dublin debating society that "he
was no mere political tyrO, but came
to the bar Of public opinion armed
with experience acquired in three
hemispheres."
A mother, trying to get her little
daughter Of three years to sleep one
night, said, "Anns, why don't you
try and go to sleep ?" 81 am trying
''But you havn't shut your eyes.n
"Well, can't help it; ums comes un-
buttoned."
When last year Mrs. FaWcett gave
3 lecture in Scotch town, she read
the following the next morning in
the local newspapers: Although
Mrs. Fawcett has contributed to
magazines, and even written a book,
she is by no means repulsive in ap-
pearance."
A company has been established in
/ New York to manufacture weather
bureaus for the European market.
A large-siZed bureau that will predict
sixteen kinds of weather a week can
be had for $500. The typhoon and
westerly wind attachments are extra.
-DdRbu7y Ne1OS.
A party who recently lectured in
Denver, appeared to be somewhat dis
satisfied with his reception. "Did
you have q large audience ?" asked 3
| sympathetic friend. mo; the au-
thorities having neglected TO close the
saloons there was not much of an at
| tendance. ."-Ddn6lG7y NelOs.
A writer in the Uaiversdlist says
/ Holland windmills have arms OF an
enormous length, and carry 5000
yards Of canvas. American wind
mills have arms OF only ordinary size,
but when they are sent to Congress
they can stand up and tire out the
/ Hollandest windmill that ever spread
its bellying sails to the rising gale.
Loud applause. l-DetrOh Free Press.
1t was q gentlemanly young man
who remarked wonderingly how 8
young lady could make herself ridicu-
lous by yielding to the absurd va
carries OF fashion. Then the wind
caught him by the new style OF shirt
collar -E1Iafots- tsi, AIszt rested, aHu ne
was obliged to close both arms around
telegraph pole in order to keep
from being waited over q neighbOring
roof.-Ldcrosse Free Press.
A sehool-boy being asked by bis
teacher how be should fog him, re-
piled ''I' you please, sir, should
| like TO have 1t on the italian system
Of penmsDship-the heavy Stroks up,
and the do1Cn ones light"