The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1866-1891, 1877-07-19
WIT AND HUMOR.

UelniOCh uUdiu IcIVS do so'o GO uo""J
pillows are.
Men who travel barefooted around
newly carpted bedroom often find them
selves on the wrong tack.
Mrs. PARrINGToN "Isaac, I've
stood by you in your Anniversary, and
I'll stand by you in your posterity."
NATURE is the greatest teacher, after
all. She lays open the delicate leaves
of Il budding rose, and shows us how to
dew it.
Is certain Office the following no.
ticc is. posted: shut the door, and
when you have done talking on busi-
ness, serve your mouth in the same
way
"AsToNIsuING cure for consump-
ton = as the old lady said when she
sprinklcd her pies with Cayenne pepper
before putting them before her boardcrs.
\ PAPER published in Florida say
"a new commodious dog-housc was re-
Gently finished in this city for the ac-
commoJation Of one of our leading cit
zens"
\ TOAST given at f;uit growers
convention: Wrss-Thc apples Of the
eye to married men-sor grapes to Old
bachelors; may the ladies all consent to
be paired
NOTHING will give you liGc,'' saii a
physician to diminutive patient, "cx-
cept quart Of catnip tea "Then,'
responded the sick man, Il must die,
as | hold only pint
SMITH wishing to say smart thing,
remarked: Jones is not so great a l01i
as he looks = to which Jones rctor;ed:
"Thats Just the difference between
Smith and me-
HERE is a horribly good couundrum;
What is the difference between Il gallery
Tor the ex ibition of paintings and
vein in Young Iady's arm? One is an
art gallery aud the other is gal artery.
TIE other day. in an up town resi-
lemcc, u ring at the door was heard, and
the servant girl. calling TO her mistress,
said PLEASE mHm, 80 to tie door, an
ef its anybody Tor me, tell EN- In ell
gagged
BETWEEN ncw. made lovers ''Thcn
.idelgiiha, ~vu will be nine" "Ics,
FcrL.nanl ifpa is willing. lays
do VIA wants ne to- " But will
he sEc his consont?' 'IIe will. Pa
:Syays does what | want him TO.
! .,.s.rslT a-ssulid hoy .you a.e :,
Il cross old uncle to his nephew W
rci~icd the nephew. ghncing at -nrJ
uncle, bald head, you cant expect me
to understand things as quick as you
do, cause you haven't any trouble in
getting EN- through your hair.
CANT yer eiyer tellcr li(t?' re-
marked a red-ncscd tramp, poking his
head in the door of Il country store.
We'll. reckon | can. answered the
proprietor. us he lifted him about ten
feet, with the end of his boot.
"PLEAs3 accept a lock of my hair
slil bachelor to a handsome widow
whom he was wcoing. Hadn't you
better give me the whole wig?' she
sarcastcaly asked ; to which he re-
>pouded : "Yoa are very biting madam,
considering that Your teeth are porcc>
lain
Ak ALABAMA man refused TO accept
certain bank bills rendered him. because
the mules engraved upon them Were
not properly ccarel. lIc said that the
cusravcr had put the brceching upo.
the lead mules instead OF those at the
wheels, which mad. 4 very grave state
of affairs going down hill.
Il DO not know what you mean By
not bcins an bishman,' said a gentle
man who vas about hiring a boy, but
YOU were born in Ireland" "Oeh. your
honor. if that's al, - said the boy, "smal'
blame to that. Suppose yohr cat was
to have kittens in the oven, would they
be loavcs of bread ?
\ ScorcUMAN being examined by
his minister, WAS asked: "What k;Gd
of: man was .idam p "Oh, ji>t like
ithcr folk Tho minister insisted On
hayin. mo:2 special description Of the
first man, and pressed for more explain
tion. "Wccl. said the scot. ma.
body got oayihiug by him, and man
lost"
"NasS:. sid the black steward t.
lis crptlip. IS they fell in with homr
wnl houod vessel. Il wish you w'H'4
write f.w 'iu.> Tor me to he oH W
aan ,aa>. cant write. The cool
ra,urod ,;irprr complied. and wro;c a''
that pompcy dictated. y, the clpiai.
va, about to sal up tie letter, Pomucy
rcmiodcd hin ,hat he had omitted -
,ay. Please scuSc de bad wrii:n' ana
-feiiin.
IlEwAs praising her beautiful hair
and Leeeine f5r one tinny curl, wien
her .iJlt brother said "Oh. my. faint
nothing now. You Just ought to have
seen how lon- 1t hangs dowr whclA she
hangs it on the side OF The table to
comb it," ghen lhey laughed. and She
called hex brother cute little angel,
and w!cn the youn. man was &oins and
heard that 10y Yelling, h. though the
lan wa. taken suddenly III.