Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1877-10-12
FUN /!

INTERRUPT TED TABLE TALK.-The
other evening the Rev. Mr.. Phllacter SAT
down at the tea table with very thought
ful air, and attended to the wants of his
brood in very distracted manner. Pre-
sently he looked up at his wife and said:
"The Apostle Paul'-
"Got an awful lump on the head Safer
noon,' broke in the pastors eldest son,
''playiug base ball. But few out of the
strikers hands when I was umpire, aid
cracked me above the ear, an dropped me.
Hurt? Golly ~ and the lad shook his head
in dismal but expressive pantomine as he
tenderly rubbed a bump that looked like
billiard ball with hair on it. The pastor
gravely paused for the interruption, and
then resumed:
1.-The Apostle Paul''-
s'Saw Mrs c, Gheminie down at Green
baum's this afternoon" said his eldest
daughter, addressing her mother. "She had
the same old everlasting silk, coat-ta!l
basque pattern. overskirt made with ola
gonal folds in front, edged with deep fringe;
yellow straw hat with black velvet facing
inside the brim, and pale blue flowers.
She's going to Chicago.
The good minister waited patiently, and
then, in tone just shade louder than be-
fore, said
1.-THE Apostle Paul"-
when in swimming last night with
Harry and Ben, pop, and stepped on clam
shell,'' exclaimed his youngest son; ''cut
my feet so 1 can't wear my shoe; and,
please, can't stay at home tomorrow"
The pastor informed his son that he
might stay away from the river, and then
resumed
1.-The Apostle Paul says
my teacher is an awful liar!" shouted
the second son; she says the world is as
round as an orange, and it turns round all
the time faster than circus man can ride!
guess he hain't got much sense"
The mother lifted warning finger toward
the boy, said 'sSh!'' and the father re-
Sumed:
'sThe Apostle Paul says''-
Don't bite off twice as much as you
can chew" broke out the Oldest son, re-
proving the assault of his little brother on
a piece of cake. The pastors face showed
just trifle Of annoyance as he said in very
firm. decided tones:
1.-THE Apostle Paul says.
There's fly in the batter!" shrieked
the youngest hopeful of the family, and a
general laugh followed. When silence was
restored the eldest daughter, with. an air
of curiosity said;
''Well, but, pa, I really would like to
know what the Postle Paul said.''
''Pass me the mustard said the pastor,
absently.
Then the committee and the senate
went into executive session, and soon after
adjourned.
There is untold honor, fame and gold
awaiting the man who will invent steam
hired girl that will fasten the alley gate at
night and one who can be got up in the
morning without raising an alarm of fire.
1t is estimated that there are 2,463 disor-
ders to which the human frame is liable.
When fellow is laid up with cramp collie
he is apt to think that the entire number
has struck him in concert.
When you are tired of twirling your
sit down and see how fast you can
say, ''Shoes and socks shock Susan in an
lnexplicable manner, and inexorably she |
ceaseth sheathing her Shoes"
"Train up child in the way he should
co. says the proverb but it is as well if |
you want to do the thing properly. to ira
vel, in the first instance. by that train
yourself.
We would much rather be talked to
death by barber than to be lathered and 4
eft to the mercy Of flies while he is talk
ng some other wretch to death.
A gentleman named More proposed to a
ady by letter, and she asked time for con-
'ideration, closing her letter with the
words, mo More at present.