The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1877-05-26

From the Allegheny Evening Mail.
This article is inscribed to whom it
may concern. Let scolding wives and
splritless husbands mediate on the pc
cullar phases of character herein unfurled
to the breezes of the human understand
ing. A lesson is designed for all who
wish to improve their condition in life
not by removing from the world, or even
from home, but by bearing their grievous
burdens with fortitude becoming sen
sible man, woman or child. Let all who
are debating with themselves
whether tits nobler in the mind to suffer
The stinss and arrows Of outrageous
fortune,
Or to take up arms against sea OF trou-
And by opposing, end Them"
Read these lines withou. prejudice end
profit by domestic scene We are going
10 relate:
Now this scene is founded on facts.
The man character represents the type
OF your easy going all right sort of an
individual who would sit still and smile
blandly If the world was shaking fromtits
foundations. On the other hand the wo-
man, his partner in lite, is-well, suffice
to say, is just the opposite to what he Is.
Both are extremes 10 disposition. One
needs the spur the other the halter.
Here is the story:
Pigmalion Dwind.e and his wife Betty
had been living together tor good
many years. Had they been of the same
disposition they would have died out, or
been blown up premsturely. Pigmallon
was reader, and one day the following
! story impressed HIM very much.
There once was q man WHO had a wife,
and that dear wife was cross. To say she
scoided, would be uttering light thing,
she even predicted events. She was al
ways careful however to conceal her
prophecies till alter the event had hap
| pened, and then she would hurl at her
| husband her favorite expression. Il told
yousO." The man in the tale cured his
wife OF the bothersome habit by rushing
INTO her presence one day in great excite
ment and ex lcaining: Maria, my dear,
the old cow has gone and eaten the grind
stonew When the prophecies, taken At
unswsres, called out in reproachful ac-
cents, Il told you so. you had no business
leaving it so near the barn door" realized
how she had been fooled, she was never
again heard to disclose her thoughts con-
cerulng cause and effect.
Now Mr.. Dwindle resolved to try
similar plan ON his wife who was the
verv same kind of womau, according
| to his estimate. He was not posted IN the
writings of that philosopher Josh Bill
jnys. who said there are two things that
wont do to trihe with. woman's opinion
and the business part OF wasp, 80
walking gently into the dining room one
morning, he addressed his wife IN his
usual drawing manner:
"Betty, do you mind that spotted pig
| bought this time last Year,"
He did not emphasize the personal
pronoun, but she did, rs she left the pan
cakes on the grldle to to take care OF
themselves, ard walked up TO her lovely
spouse, ana sung out in sharp notes.
You mean that pig bought, for 1t
WAS me that did the buying. lou were
such goose that you would have stood
nm and given hall dollar more than 1t
was worth. You were always that KIND
OF Z, slow breeches. You never made
coed bargain in your life"
There is 30 telling when this storm OF
imagination would have subsidized, had
not the man finding the opportunity put
| in word.
Not even when married you. Come
now, Betty, didu't l make bargain
that time? -,
That was an exception. Thank good
mass con have one clean spot in your
character. But wha. about the pig''
why, it jumped over the barn ana
broks its neck against the lightning
rod"
Poor Mr.. Dwindle! Alas for his an.
ticipatiops! His words fell IS nat as
hogshead of syrup upon the ears OF nlS
scolding mate. Like hurricane III
angry mood she let loose thecurrent OF her
wrath. and the words OF her mouth rang
out shsrp and clear, piercing and pene-
You old fool you. Do you think to
trife with me-y our, better halt, in sucn
a way? You have no more sense thsn
a dead rat. You ought to be hung IKE
a dog. Whs. meant you by such Ian
gusge" 49,,
Hereupon the baftled husband, like a
child. told the whole truth, ard endeu
by saying: IA, 7
al didn't mean any harm Betty. l
was only in fun -,
"Ouly in fun, you big.mouthed, evil
evsd. crooked-footed, blsck-bearted, thick
headed, foul.bresthed thing you. (Ihese
arc not all her sdjectlves. There was
scarcely a defect on the mans body that
sbe tailed to remind HIM OF in exagerat.
ING terms.) How dare you everyone TO
q Common scold. i am one Of the most
peaceful and mild and patient, long SUI
tering women in the world. Every
thirg goes wrong and never murmef'
Not Bit OF It. Now see here. Piggle,
that was his pet nsme)lf you're not sat
.asd 70 live With me, think the best
thing 70 do is 10 come to definite un.
derstsnding here ard now. mean bus
mess. can't stand this any longer"
..Sit down to 1t, Betty; sit down, you
are too weak to stand"
.Nore nonsense. Now see here; we
o,st come to A. Oh. b. h-bl' and with
~. defamation she bounded into the
, t;,cben like q hare. She had forgotten
; 70 tprn the pancakes, and now they were
BURIED to a crisp, ard the smoke 'na'
arose from over the stove was enough 70
choke dozen cats.
Betty's bl.od was raised almost to
; boiling hes. BY this occurrence, Out enc
, curbed her temper remarkably well q:
she approached her husband . mom en-
. | later wiping the psnpirasion from bel
forehead. ;.a
ut vas yvs lid that bat never miad