South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1877-10-26

ES-"Anna, dear. if should attempt
to spell Cupid. why could not get be.
yond the first syllable?" Anna gave II
up, whereupon William said. because
when come to Il. Of course cannot I
90 further" Anna said she thought /
that was the incest conundrum she lad !
ever heard.
EyOld DIR. Hunter used TO say. when |
lie could not discover the cause of |
mans sickness, Well try this AMI we'll |
try that. Well shoot into the tree and
iranything fall. well and good" AYE"
replied wag, 81 fear this is too com.
monty the case, and, in your shooting
into the tree, the FIRST thing that gener.
ally falls is tie patient"
IVA timid young man called upon a
young lady one evening; she said {: 81
want TO propose to you 'You are
very kind" gasped the alarmed visitor
"but / am not worthy OF such happi-
ness; in fact none of our family are
marrying people-besides. my income
is limited, and have TO meet q friend,
and Pm afraid I'll be late" He was
making his exit without waiting to put
on bis oYercoat, through the door OF a
cupboard why" said the young wo.
man, 81 wanted to propose 10 you to
accompany me as far as Main street !;
that was ALL ooh, In that case" an
swered the relieved gentleman, Il shall
be only too happy"
ts7 The following anecdote is told Of
Judge Abbott, one Of tire members of
the House Investigating Committee
which went TO South Carolina: when
he was in Charleston he asked the old
darkey ut work i'm his room what made
him so slow about building the fire.
The reply was: Fact is, Judge, dar
is no coal down stairs. Use been up
and down dc alley, and stole all the
wood could find, and in present demon
lied condition of society | can't do nc
better"
He WANTED TO JINE.-"You wan't
to iine the ban, do you?" said an old
negro preacher TO young convert.
Yes. sar, | want TO jiue."
"Well, sar, do you believe Gerliah, +:
piclianinny little shaver, slowed grea
big man called David, dat was longer
than tho Centre Market, wild q pebble
dat was no bigger dan n huckleberry
Eh?'
NO! don't bleye nothin' like dat,
was the reply.
Den you cant ijne."
well den, 1 b'leves it. On wild dC
llatckise'
DO you b'lcve," continued the dea-
con, dat dar war man Gales Jonci
who swalered whale and kept it dowr
awful long time before he spitted i
out?"
NO. sar; can't make mo b'leve dat
was the response.
Den you can't iine."
well, now, by gingo, b'lcve dat to
Go on wild de katellise"
Well, you b'eve dat dar was n mar
named Della, and woman Gale.
Sampson got down in de cellar Of bis
house what weighed morn de Centen-
NAL, and lifted it kerslap clean out oil
de world?"
Don't b'leve nothin' ob de kind,
was the indignant reply.
reply.
Don You can't joe
Don't want to jjnc. l don't b'levt
y
81 An old but vigorous looking gen
tleman, seemingly from the rural dis
tricts, got into q car and walked It's full
length without receiving an invitation
10 sit down. Approaching the gentle
man who had a whole bench 90 himself
lie asked: lis this seat occupied?"
yes, sir it is impertincnty replied
the other
Welt" replied the broad shouldered
agricuturist, Il will keep this seat until
the gentleman comes"
The original proprietor Withdrew him.
selfhaughtily to one end and looked in.
suited. After q while the train got in
motion, and still nobody came to claim
the seat, whereupon the deep chested
a%riculturist turned and said: "Sir.
when YOU told me that this scat was
occupied YOU told me lie"-such was
his plain language. Il never sit near o
liar if ] can avoid it, l would rather
stand up"
Then appealing to another party he
said "Sir, may 7 set next to you?-
You don't loOl, like liar" We need
not hardly say that ne got his scat, aud
that the original proprietor thought that
there was something wrong about our
social system.
TIE RutWo PASSION ~ SLrrp.-
Ins, night The wife Of Justice Moses was
aroused from q sound sleep hy stern
voice: "Aro you ready for trial, shy?"
"ilush--don'l make noise or else
you'll wake the baby she replied, eu.