The Weston Democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1875-current, 1877-03-31
Items OF Interest.

4 man cannot win Eoluen opinions ny
the exhibition of'his brass
A man with corns felt better after
meeting man with no feet. i. s.
II You have too much music in. your
sole, soak the bottom Of your shoes.
There is no autocrat like the barber
who holds you by the nose while he
talks. .a..-. .,
Never let anybody drive you to dis
traction-you may not be able to get
back.
Germany's resolution not to 50 into
the French exposition Of 1878 is un-
shaken.
A mans dearest object should be 4lis
wife, but, alas sometimes it is his wite's
wardrobe. '" "."'
A late book is entitled "Half Hours
with Insects" What lively half hour
one can hive with beel %,sl
As sign Of revival Of business. We
may mention that number Of gentle
men have lately inquired tho price Of
suit OF clothes.
Lyonnaise potatoes arc boiled before
frying, and are put into pan with but
ter and onion, and the minced parsley is
thrown in before tho potatoes are done.
1t clings to the potatoes. ~
It is little singular how much valua-
ble time woman will take up in study
ing the postmark Of letter to see where
it comes from, when she can open tho
letter and find ont ut once.
The manufacture Of oleomargarine,
or artificial butter, is rapidly extending,
and large factories for its production are
springing up in nearly all the principal
cities. The business is said to be lucnI-
tive. Pr
The premium bale Of cotton, which
won the 81, 900 prize at the Centennial
Exhibition, is to be sent to the interla-
tional horticultural exhibition in Hol-
land by the cotton exchange Of Mem
phis. y,ii
They tell OF prominent grocer who
carried to funeral IN umbrella on
which was painted conspicuously the
business OF his house, and held it over
the preachers head while he conducted
the service.
Two ragged little urcliins were stand
ing in the gutter looking ut lady who
had inst fallen down on the pavement.
" It isn't so much tllat 1 like oranges,
observed. one Of them, "but what a lot
of people you can bring down with the
peel" -
johnny was telling his mn how he was
going to dress and show off when he was
n man. His mn asked: johnny, how
do you expect to get your living when
you get to be mnn?" "Well, said
johnny, "I'll get married and live with
my wife's pa,"
A husband fuding piece broken out
Of his plate and another out Of his
saucer, pctulantly exclaimed to his wife:
"My dear, it seems to methat every
tlnng belonging to you is broken"
"NVell, yes, Responded the wife, seven
You seem to bc n little cracked. 't'g
Professor of chemistry "suppose
you wore called to n patient who had
swallowed heavy dose Of oxalic acid,
what would you atmiiister?" K
(who is preparing for the ministry, and
only takes chemistry because it is OBJ
ligatoY)-'T woulladminister the sacra-:
ment."
A spcndthrift, who had wasted nearly
NIL his patrimony, seeing m acquaintance
in coat not OF the newest cut, told him
lie thought it liad been his great-grmd.
fathers coat. $50. it was," said the
gentleman "and have also my great
grandfather's land, which is more than
you Gun say"
An Eastern spcculntor passed through
the lowlandS Of Missouri and Kansas
purchasing NIL sheep afflicted with foot
rot, paying twenty-five to, fifty cents IL
hetil, and drove them to Denver, when
it was discovered that the dry sand Ind
eradicatcd the disease, and in many cases
Il new hOOf had formed.
A clerk in the Russian ordnance Office
Mt AlexaIlilrapol las Just been condemned
tn penal seryitude for life for selling n
ulan Of the fortress there to the Turks
for the sum of 600 rubles. The Russian
military police arrested the clerk in
question on Turkish territory before he
lad time to part with the plan. .
A calculating housewife lately applied
at q register office for new servant.
She stated TINT sho had discharged her
last OH the suspicion that she was dis.
honest, because she had given her seven
apples to peel and she Ind only returned
her twenty-seven quarters, when there
should have been twenty.eight. ~
An Irishman by the following syllogisnl
proved himself the best man in the world.
.tYou can Che said) find 'as good man in
Ireland rs in any other country in. the
world and Kerry can produce as good q
man as any county in ireland; now, my
brother is acknowledged to be tho best
man in Kerry, and nm able to beat my
brother. - -
A man at Placeryille, CAL; having oC-
casion recently to erect q new building
where an old ono stood, a party Of miners
agreed with him to dig out the lot, fill it
in again, and give him half the proceeds.
They found the earth no rich in gold that,
although'they had to cart ita long dis
tance in order to w,Isl it, they made
large profit y is =. ,
A curious experiment with the mag
net was recently tried in London. A
boy had broken q needle in the cali OF
his leg, and before resorting TO surgical
instruments It was decided TO Try tho
effect OF a powerful magnet IN withdraw.