Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-12-06
HORNY HANDED.
Which is the Present Condition OF
Zach Chandler.

Zach Chandler.
New York World Come to my
Sabine farm said Mr.. Chandler
pleasantly, to me few days ago, as
we met to part again at Detroit; come
and sec me and I will do you good.
Newspaper writer's come, and 'see'
them and they may do me good
His warm invitation was accepted
aDd on leaving the train yesterday 1
was met by the ex-senator, who
wrung my hand cordially. Excuse
my glove-I mean my hand, he said !;
sit is perhaps horny with honest Toll
and grlmed with labor. On second
thoughts he added. it don't appear
quite grimed enough, and as there is
yonder a senator from Shiawassee
who holds over and votes for Mr..
Christiancy's successor in 1879,
you will excuse me if step round be-
hind that telegraph pole and hallow
it in the mud to the required notch
Returning in few moments, he shook
hands warmly with the rural legisla-
tor, to the delight of the assembled
farmers.
"How goes it Squire ? said Mr..
Chandler. Got your hay in?
SCOT my hay in?' said the gentle
man from Shiawassee, ooh, yes, got it
in last June.
That's right, that's right ex-
claimed Mr.. Chandler, the early far
mer catches the hay, and hay makes
the mare go, as Franklin says. Well,
Squire, / must be going. He who
by the pillow would thrive, himself
must either rise at 5, as poor Richard
says. Glad to have seen you, Squire,
and hope to meet you at the Capitol
in January, 1879. The honest far
mer is the bone and sinew of the coun-
try, and not until we have honest far
mers like us in the highest legislative
positions in the United States
the country be worth
Il mean safe. Shake hands Squire
my hand are perhaps horny with hon.
est toll >
4 sort Of slipped on that hay said
Mr.. Chandler as he escorted me to
his ox-cart, and taking the goad, re-
marked, 'Haw, Buck Gee, Bright =
in stentorian voice; but this here
rotation of crops is subject have
MT read up yet. l thought you sowed
everything in the spring and reaped
everything in the fall, hay, potatoes
and ALL However, live and let learn
is my motto, which may perhaps be
horny with honest-I mean-never
mind what l do mean. Think the
wheels squeak? Well, ye,es, they
do, but if | were to grease the axles it
might look like putting on frllls. Us
farmers is opposed to style, and when
a wheel is horny with honest toll it
sort of knocks 'em. By the way do
you know what part of horse his
thiIls are?'
As gently as | could | broke to
Farmer Chandler the news that the
thills were not part Of the horse at all.
Il declare, said he in surprise; '1f
amt done it again, and the Assem-
blyman from Baraga won't think me
a horny cared ass. I've got 'em down
fine on horses of late. You see, at
the Lelawna Fair, where | held the
audience for two hours discussing in
my homely practical way the great
Slawson wheat question, | sort of Of
Tended a legislator fromSheboygan by
telling him that his Denmark mare that
had Just taken the first prize for road
STEERS was the best Norman stallion |
ever see. After that l always call
horse 'critter' and everything with
horns beast without regard to age,
sex or previous condition of servitude.
Well, told this old hay, seed--I
mean this honest farmer from Bar
aga that his horse had got the finest
pair of thills on that | ever saw on a
horse in my life, missed it, | reckon,
well, | guess I've pretty near got a
majority without him
We will halt beside this purling
brook and slake our thirst said Mr..
Chandler, looking up and down the
road anxiously. There is nobody in
sight, but we can't take too many pre-
cautions, so suppose we move on
about two hundred yards beyond the
llmpid stream, behind them bushes
But how about the water? said |;
If we want to drink we had better
halt by it.
'My son. said Mr.. Chandler, as we
passed into the shade of the eopse,
and as he drew from the breast pocket
of his hundred-and. second hand army
overcoat small flask, the people
here sort of go in for temper
ance. Temperance is a good thing
though sometimes it is out of place,
as in Massachusetts platform. You
know what Franklin says? Lest my
honest agricultural neighbor should
be offended, | will drink no whisky
where he can see me. Here's luck.
In due time we reached Mr.. Chand-
ler's farm. large aud pleasant tract
of land. This said the proprietor,
with pardonable:pride, is my little
Sabine farm, as Hold says.
'Hoi?' said / in stupefaction.
Yes, Hold; did you never read
Hold ? Ray then? The literary fell
Ter that wrote the Odes? Horace is
his name IN fnll, but us farmers al.
WAYS shorten names. You remember
that old Roman. l forget his name,
the chap that went to Cincinnati and
then went on to varnish his sorehead?
Well by and by the party got into a
mess, and they wanted some one to
count them IN, and the managers
went down 10 the farm and found
chopninO mn cabba0es