The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1877-05-05
A PAIR OF APRIL FOOLS.

MI. Softheart had always been a 70
mantle young man, from the earliest
years at which it was possible for him tx
claim the title of man; and he was 70
mantle still, now that the title young
was only accorded to him because of hi
bachelorhood.
Mr.. Softheart had never desired to be
a bachelor. He admired the other sex
too much; but, although he had been in
love with four blondes, three brunettes,
and five young ladies who were neither
one nor the other, he had W been
able to pop the question point blank, but
delicately intimated it in such a way
that his meaning would have been a rid
die to the Sphynx, and was naturally
enough never successful.
Now, at forty, and growing extremely
stout, he was as romantic as ever, and,
moreover, he was desperately in love
with a new idol-a young lady who
smiled when he appeared, gave him seft
glances, called his bouquets ~"lovely," and
preserved them in water.
The fact is, Mr.. Softheart was very
well of, and not i'll looking, and that
Miss Belinda had made up her mind to
accept his hand whenever it was offered,
despite the persistent attentions of young
Mr.. Spooney, who, though by no means
i'll looking, and just six and twenty, was
only a government clerk, and by no
means IS eligible a match in consequence.
For six months Belinda Bellows had
been waiting for mi. softheart to pro-
pose, and every day more certain that he
positively intended to place his mansioE
and bank account at her disposal.
But, though Mrs. Bellows was kind
enough to allow the cook to summon
her to consultations when Mr.. Softheart
called, and so leave the pair alone to-
gether; and although Belinda's sister,
Miss Angelina, was equally considerate,
and invariably remembered that some
thing she wanted very particularly was
up stairs, when her mother went to speak
to Rssffssook, poor Mr.. Sefthesrt eve
could bring himself to thedsoint of say
ing, viii you marry me?" It would,
he argued, confuse the young lady and
himself; and if she should say no, where
-as the floor never opened on such awful
occasions to receive rejected lovers
where should he hide himself?
"I'lI do it by letter." he said to him
sell, after long consideration. "Women
80 far, have misunderstood me. I'll do
it in black and white now-say, Will
you marry me?' in SO many worda, and
decide my fate"
And, ee on the last day of March, Mr..
Softheart wrote, On pink-tinted paper,
perfamed with Rimmel's scent and edged
with gold. an offer Of his hand and heart,
as plainly TO be understood as a bill from
ones baker and feeling that he had done
q safe, though coarse thing, he enveloped,
sealed it,dand put it in his pocket, before
he made his evening cali on his beloved
Belinda.
Now it 9 happened that that very
evening Belinda herself had come to a
resolution. Her tHeht, fifth birthday
was approaching, and she could not afford
to waste time"
When MIR. Softheart reached the house
of the Bellows, he found the field quite
clear. Miss Belinda had artfulIy con.
trived that it should be 50. That per-
fdious young person had actually pur-
chased tickets for a concert requested
young Spooney, who was half mad with
joy at the idea, to accompany Angelina
and herself; and on the evening in ques-
tion was smitten with a terrible attack
Of neuralgia. Reclining in a chair, a
lace 'kerchief held to her cheek, she re.
her inability to go but, after
Nil, Mr.. Spooney should not have his
trouble for nothing-mamma and Ange-
lima would 60. She had rather be alone,
was 30 cross and nervous. They really
must go. And, knowing very well why,
ladies acquiesced and what could
.pooney do? As a gentleman, clearly
nothing but regret Miss Belinda's illness,
and be delighted with the society Of the
mamma Of fifty and the sister of fifteen.
Yet . wretched man was MIR. Spooney
that night and both his companions, on |
their return, pronounced him stupid
Ten minutes after the departure of the
trio, Miss Belinda, arrayed in blue silk.
flowers in her hair, was PLAYING at
such 8 rate on the piano that it seemed
quite certain that the demon neuralgia
must have vanished. She did not even
hear Mr, softheart's knock, and started
sweet confusion On his appearance
: I'm all Alone" she said. Mamma
and Lima won't be home Till eleven
o'clock. I'm afraid youT find it very
But Mr.. Softheart was not afraid Of
that and the two talked together in
voices. sitting very close ID each
on twin chairs. Mr.. softheart.
looked and sighed and uttered romantic
but be did not pop the cues.