Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1877-02-23

The man who would like to see you--

the blind man. .
Always getting things down to q fns
point-thc needle maker.
4 When may bread be said to be inhabit-
eds When there is little Indian In it,
"Hail, gentle spring." says Thompson,
and gentle Spring hailed, and showed, too
Why cannot q Temperance man kiss
a Jewess? He has sworn not to taste jew
lips. -..
If man be only true to himself It will
be very difficult for others TO sverreach
him.
1t is the man with tight boots who
talks most violent of the eternal fitness OF
things. rf
Mem. to those contemplating mstrim0-
ny-Keep on contemplating it, and yeu
won't hurt.
Saving Banks--in great many instan-
ces places to put money that you DO net
want to save.
We know all about shooting stars, but
we often forget that this world Of ours il
revolver.
| ta- -
The most dangerous of all nattery 10
the very common kind that we bestow
upon ourselves.
When parties go out for pleasure
sailing the seaside swells generally make
everybody sick
| A young woman who was "driven to
distraction" now fears that she will have
! to walk back.
| Why is ii pig the most provident of ami
/ mals?-Because he always carries spare
rib or two about him.
How many grains of common sense 80
to one scruple? How many scruples OF
conscience 60 to one dram?
"Pat, have you seen stray pig this
morning?" "Shure, an how could l tell
stray pig from any other, SUR"
Mr.. Budd asked her," Rose will thou
be mne?" Rose answered: ~ am sorry it
cannot Debut rose cannot-5a ''.-ned
into Il bud"
They. are getting so accustomed to
hangngs in Louisiana the people constant
| ly accost each other with this question:
Any moose to day."
The human frame is frequently alluded
to by Brother Moody. The good brother
knows all about the bones and sinners.
A Detroit woman could think Of but
twenty nine different ingredients to put
into IL mince pie. and she wept at the idea
of losing her powers of memory.
Eyes, he may be good scholar, and
all that, but he can't pass beer saloon"
was what one literary gentleman remark
ed of another on the street yesterday.
isn't your husband little balds" asked
one lady of another, in store. yesterday.
There isn't bald hair in his head,
was the hasty reply Of the wife.
AT one of the colored A. N. E church.
es in Columbus, Ga, the other night,
woman screamed, 'Glory! Ise just like
soda water Ise b'ilin' over"
When Texas militia company all got
drunk the other evening couldn't. 1t be
called a genuine case of spree de eorPs!
Il stand upon the soil Of freedom" cried
a stump-orator. "No," exclaimed his shoe
maker; you stand in pair Of. boots
that have never been paid for"
Mamie" said mother to little six
year-old, If was a little girl like you l
would pick up those chips well mann.
ma, /" said the little one, "nin't you glad
you are not a little girls"
These are days of horse.rsces. It's a
doubtful pastime, but then as Bret H2rte
has it.
Boys will be boys, and horses
We'll, hosses is hesses
Spikins says that all the perils and
horrors of Maelstrom aren't circum-
stance to the horrors of hearing female.
strom on the piano next door, from morn
ing till night.
There i a married woman with four
legs in connecticut, and because she
won't have two of them sawed of, her
husband is obliged to work sixteen hours
day IN order to keep her in striped
stockings.
Mrs. Henry" SAID John to his wife, the
other morning, if you give me Christ
ms present this year, please arrange 1t 30
that the bill won't come in till the next
month 1t is Just as well to keep Up the
( illusion Tor snort tlme.
Nothing is 50 we'll calculated to confirm
our suspicion that things are not proper
toned just right in this world, as fifteen
prisoners endeavoring to hit one spittoon,
while the reporters and lawyers have ono
apiece to fire at.
The members of the new Legislature
of Samoa are so avcrse to wearing .
respectable amount of clothing that it has
been found necessary to adopt rule i'm
posing fine of $100 upon any of them
who enter the hall in complete or par
tail state of nudity.
/ The Prohhitory law being in full
/ force in Maine, Il witness before Belfast
in certain saloon. YES" "Often"
Yes" How much in six months!"
"Well, can't tell exactly. 1t might be-
-perhaps-well, say y barrel!'
A noble fellow that tramp WAS who
returned a five dollar bill he had found
in an old vest Il Norwich gentleman had
given him. His honesty was rewarded
with one dollar bill, and the next day
the five turned out to be counterfeit.
Mary had little lamp.
Twas filled with kerosene,
Mary down the chimney blew,
And vanished from the scene.
Gone to meet her brother who sat
down ON keg Of powder to smoke.
A certain colored deacon. on occasion
of missionary collections, was wont to
shut his eyes and sing. Fly, abroad,
thou mighty Gospel" with such earnest
ness and unction that he would quite
forget to see the plate as it came around
''Oh, yes! said the plate bearer" but
just you give something to mako it fy."
Street car companies are reasonably
progressive, but there is still one step for
them to take What is wanted is some
man of polite manners to stand en the
platform and introduce the conductor to
ladies before that functionary puts his
hands round the waist to help them On.
To be hugged without an Introduction
isn't right.
1t was not exactly 6onns Souehe Of
smile he got off that friend of ours, when
he came into the Office this morning and
remarked. There's ice around this morn
inp and I've had the hryt fall Of thA