The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-05-03
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

advertise longer clrcuSeS tnan ever.
No PERSON should have any time to
spare from Winding his own business.
THE whale is the sulkiest of all fishes.
He is the worst pOuter in the business
Burlington Hawk-Eys.
THE foolish man will ask q woman if
her baby is not trifie cross-eyed, but the
wise man will take the cars to Syracuse
and make his inquiries by postal card
Rome Sentinel.
1T is q strange law in the order of ma
turc that lust as a man gets fully devel-
Opcd, experienced and fit to live with, he
begins to drop into painful old age and
the funeral professions that tend to the
tomb.
A REV. MR.. SPELrER is the name of
an Arkansas preacher, and there isn't q
vacant pewter be had in his church.-N.
Y. Commercial The church must have
spelter title clear when she solder pews.-
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
AT Mycene, frog jumped out of one
of the unearthcd stone collins, and DR..
Schliemann is said to have Immediately
soliloquized: ITO think that my eyes
have looked upon living contemporary
of Agamemnon, Hector and Hecuba, and
the rest of them!''
WHEN Judge Davis quilted the Su-
preme bench, it tilted up at his end and
banged down at the other, like q teter
board when the boy falls off, and the
amazed Justices were nearly jostled out
of their dignity and Of their breath
Burlington Hasok- Eye.
A YOUNG man in Marblehcad, Mass, re-
turning home from a counting expedition
at half past one in the morning, discovered
q fire in clubhouse and got it extin-
guishcd. This is one of the benefits of
that fine old New England custom of
going home early in the morning.
"H1s hat sailed high in air, it did,
The hat which pleased his vanity;
Such things we see when April winds
do prosecute humanity.
And she, poor girl, embraced post
With tenderness quite curious.
Such deeds take place when clouds of dust
Are blowing fast and furious"
A LADY correspondent of the Journal
concluded her letter as follows: but l
have already wearicd yOu," etc. The vii.
famous type-sctter made it read: - But
have already married YOU" This is only
one of the thousand little annoyances that
Il newspaper man has to sutlcr.-LotoeH
Journal.
THE skeletons that are disclosed in the
courts are exceptional and anything but
true presentations of the holy estate 0i
matrinlony. Set il down rs a fact, young
man, that ten married couples are happy
to one that is unhappy, and that the sooner
you take your sweetheart to the altar the
better it will bc for you.-N. /. Uails.
ONCE get mincc pie inside mans
onSO,,l, ~ ro,c owl hmm II &c Of
end. The best of men arc troubled in the
gastric region by mincc pie, and every
wife who tOleratcs this dangerous fomenter
of dyspepsia and conjugal authority
should bc made to feel the heavy hand Of
the law.-Chicago Times.
PUBLISHING marriage engagements is
becoming almost q custom in this city,
though we believe thus far confined to
Hebrews. The average American is not
anxious to adopt the notion, for he knows
that there is many a slip between the
pledge and the ring, and sufficient unto
the day is the evil thereof. IN. =. Eoen-
ing Mail.
The Courier-J Journal catches its breath
and reports the following conversation
Now, my young friends, can you tell
me who LeOnidas was ?" Yes, Sir; yes,
sir; he was member of the Legislature u
"And what makes you think he was a
member of the Legislature, my children ~
Because sir, he held pass with Spar
tan firmness."
WE have always fully believed that
women are angels minus only the wings
especially tho wcll-dressed ones. But sad
9uestionings arise in our breasts, which
will not down at our bidding, when below
the fine dress, through large rent in the
boot, the bare angelic heel and the soiled
tatters of ragged stocking are seen peer
ing out to find the best place to step on q
muddy crossing.-Boston Aduertiser.
The Louisville Courier Journal gets of
the following shameless paragraph: "A
Boston man who went to Quebec and
started small grocery has astOnished the
Canadians with the following advertise.
ment Of his tea, coffee, etc.: THE pecu.
liar delicacies of the far off Ind, and the
finely favored and humanizing leaf of the
still further Cathay; the more exciting
though not less delicious berry of Brazil,
and the spices, sugars and luscious fruits
of the Antilles; the sugared condiments
and the blood -enriching wines of the Med
iterranean, and the salt-cured and brain
renewing fish of our own stormy gulf. /"
MR.. JOSEPH SPROUTS, near Mendoza,
has very large black perch in his spring,
and which he has had In there for five
years. He can 90 to the waters edge,
pick it up, rub IL, feed it and play with
it, all OF which it seems to enjoy as would
. dog, horse or other animal. We tried it,
and it was as playful with us as with Mr..
Sprouts. He caught it five years ago out
of the North Fork of HolstOn with hook,
and put it in his spring, and has kept ii
there safely and made q special pet of ii
ever since. 1t is about twenty inches
long, and four to six wide.-Abingdon
Vir0inian.
MOUNT HOLYOKE SEMINARY has of late
been presented with large and varied COL
lection of statuary for adjoining the new
Williston art gallery, the gift of a we'll
known and benevolent citizen of CRANKY,
who is at times cratic, to put it mildly,
but who has often extended welcome aid
to the institution. He had been requested
by the principal to remember the vacant
inches for statuary in the gallery at such q
time as should seem to him most fitting,
and promised to do 80, but disdained the
suggestion that he should furnish the
money only and let those of more expert
ence in such matters make the selection.
Shortly after, an Italian lmage-vender
called at his door and found him in most
generous mood, for the itinerant merchant
sold his entire stock, and was ordered to
deliver it at the Seminary. The "statu-
ary" arrived in good order, and the facul-
ty have since been trying with all theiI
might to keep the matter quiet.
A Child Rescued from Cruel Task.
masters.
THE officers of the Society for the Pre-
vention of Cruelty to Children recently re-
ceived information that the schooner John
Colby might be expected in New York
about April 4, and that on board of her
would be found young boy sadly in need
Of their care. 1t was further learned that
the child in question, known ~ " Charlie, -
had been with Murrsy's circus. which dis.
banded lately at Key West after q tour
through the West Indies. The little lad,
only four years old, had been used in
ymnastic performances by . well known
acrobat named Dick" Rivers, and had
heen widely advertised "A n Youthful