Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1877-08-09

-'Lightning never strikes twics in tho
same place, it generally happening that
there is nothing there the second time to

A'kuIuAuk uCVCI SSAA0SS AWtV0 ~ SAs0
; same place, it generally happening that
There is nothing there the second time to
hit" --.t-
=. "A boy having been told "that rep>
y title was sn animal that creeps," on beng
asked TO name one, on examination day,
promptly replied, ''A baby
"A ridiculous exchange asks: Were
You ever bitten by bed ticA," And
chap who has Travelled, replies: .s
mo, but we have been bitten by the
next thing to it.''
Men are frequently like tsa--the
strength and goodness are rot properly
drawn out unit! they haye been in hot wal
ter. ...'-..
/ --Spicer surprised his cook the othet
'mornng by remarking that he didn't
want his gravy executed in tEat man.
ner; he added that it was burned at tho
steak. -..,..
"A Judge, joking young lawyer, said:
'If you and l were turned into horse
and an ass, which would you prefer I'd
be?"
"The ass, to b3 sure" replied the law.
yer. ''I've heard of an ass being made
Judge; but Lorse, never.'' r
A German editor remarks that in
America thieves are SO scarce that rewards
are offered for them. He might have
added though, That It's not until the re-
ward is offered that they make themselves
scarce.
1t was the member from Ballygrass,
county Mayo, who remarked, IL have al.
ways observed that if live through tho
month of March, I am alive at tho end of
the year."
-''I never complained Of nv cordittn
but once,' said an old man, "when my
feet were bare and had no money to buy
shoes; but met a man without feet, and
became contentcG" 80 ga
A dandy of twenty-six having been
termed an ''old bachelor appealed to an
|elderly gentleman to decide whether he
should be called old or not, giving his
age at "twenty-six.'' ~ Said the elderly
gentleman:
1T is owing to how you take it. Now,
for man, it is young enough; but for
goose, It ls rather old" -
- When an Ohio man reads d headline
lin his paper, "The situation at Washing.
|ton," he telegrsphs Hayes for 1t imme.
|diate'y."
-serenader: "ftcme Sweet Hcmh
dah am no place like home." .n
Colored lady at the window: "Welh
you jes better git along home or I'll fruM
soul in."
The difficulty, boys, is to get the frat
hundi ed dollars in the savings bank -E1.
change. And the next great difficulty II
to get it ot,t-of New York savings
banks. ~
The colored people held o meeunga
few days ago in Caldwell county, North
Carolina to pray for rain. One brother
was called on, who prayed after this nan.
ner: a.., g.. .. .. ...-i
20 Lord! US poor niggers is peiishint
dis year, an eff you don't glib us rain w
will perish next year, too. So, good Lord,
Glib US rain. Don't glib us one Of desc
little sippy slabbies, but do. good Lord,
glib US one of dem gnllywasherS an trash'
f5* ss sf.if ~,s-d
This il the inAiic,ous WY In which .
Chicago paper relates sSt Louis -
nance:
"A love affair which has BEEN .oirc o.
for nineteen years at st. Louis has at laSo
been brought to happy termination By
the tardy swain falling at portion oftA6
feet of tie Duleinea and confessing HE
flame. 1he beautiful girl reddened With
delight part of the way up her ears, aDd
accepted him. ,.-t ..H7--D
-hessing, the German author, wits, III
his old ape; subject TO extraordinary dts
Of abstraction. On his return home, one
evening, after he had Knocked ut his
door, the servant looked out OF tho win.
dow to see who was there. Not recogni&
ing his master in the dark, and mistakiDg
him for a stranger, he called out, THE
professor is not at home"
"Oh, very WE'LL" replied Leasing. I'm
call ano ther time!' .-. ,rs.t ~,
-Jcfferscn's idea Of lawyer: "A naa
whose trade it is to contest everything,
ooncedc nothing, and talk by the hour"
Something scorched a space hun.
dred yards wide and six tines as long In
Western Texas, in = recent storm. The
residents generally think remarkably
broad flash of lightning may have done Il
but there are superstitious persons who
are sa.e that the ds7il did it with his hot
feet. ........E,-. -..- .+r.-.t,s;
1T doesn It do aIoit of good to 60 !oa
picnic and stand on the river bank And
admire the gorgeous sunse: and talk
about the tender beauties Of nature to,A
man who has Just sat down on cNstasd
pie -..eav '.s sd
On motion It was agreed that tia
company wear q uniform consisting Of
black pantaloons with yellow stripe rurs
mng parallel with the outside sesm,ao
black hat with yellow cord, and saddle
blanket made of blue material. ss ~
in winding up an article On the last
corn crop, an Alabama editor remarked:
I'VE have ON exhibition in our sanctu0
a mag nificent pair Of ears" so 81"
They say DR. Mary Walker is so -bandy.
las to her walking things, that she has .
have her trousers cut with circular saw"