The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1877-02-01
Wit and HumNl,.


A KENTUCKY dealer has over a millio n
dollars in whisky. There's reel estate
for you.
The statue in butter of The Dreaming
lolanthe is said to be in the purest Gre
clan style.
OF late years more interest is taken in
a college scUll contest than in college
skull contest.
"NoT lost, but gone before'' ex-
claimed the man when his hot blows off
and ahead Of him.
A LATE book is entitled "Half Hours
With Insects" What lively half hour
one can have with bee.
ADAM and Eve, we suppose, were the
first to start turning over new leaves.
They did it to keep up with the fash
ions.
DISTANT Relations People who i'm
agine they have q claim to rob you if
you are rich, and to insult you if you
are poor.
IT is rather unkind to present maid
en- lady with copy of {" Paradise Lost"
The title is too suggestive now that leap
year has glided away.
THE joys of this world are indeed feet
ing, but when lot of boiled molasses
gets into girls hair at candy, pulling
it may stick for weeks.
A NASHVILLE man answered. Chicago
advertisement Chow to win at poker"
and received for his So the following,
"Hold four aces or don't poke"
| TALMAeE was opposed to shoveling
snow on Sunday until one Sabbath
morn he took slide of seventeen feet
and landed on the back of his head.
SHARP SHOOTING
What is the reason that neither was hurt,
After the duel done?
Because each stood in the safest place
That is, before the gun.
In his sermon to journalists, Talmage
claimed to be of the guild. "Gooa
Heavens - exclaimed the super, when
he heard of Edwin Forests death,
''Another of us gone!'
The Grand Duke Alexis wants this
country to treat MIN the same as pri-
vate citizen. After being allowed to
stand up in street-car few times he
will discover his mistake.
We only heard one man 8" swear off "a
on New Years day. He was going down
the street, and suddenly sat down on
his spine on the cold side of the pave
ment. Then he swore 'off-and on-for
about five minutes.
"TAKE something 2" inquired stran
ger of the crowd in a saloon, one day
last week. "Don't- mind -i-do," cried
the gang in chorus, springing to their
feet and advancing. Well, them"
exclaimed the stranger, breaking for
the door, take a walk !" They
took it.
"YoU are bad, wicked man." said
the poor fellow, as he lay on the icy
sidewalk to his friend who had escaped
the fall. Wicked-how?" asked the
friend. Because replied the other,
as he prepared to crawl to his feet, ''the
Bible says the wicked stand on slippery
places. You stood-therefore you are
wicked"
GOOD OUT OF EVIL.
An orange, rich and ripe,
He gave to me one day;
An orange big and round
I scarce knew what to say
I pondered deep and long;
At last did thought divulge
The reason why he gave
1t made has pocket bulge.
HAPPY that man whose steadfast roof
has ne'er begun to leak, who has no
Brussels carpets spoiled Oy the weather's
latest freak. For if he has his household
goods all wringing-so to speak-'tis
scarcely possible he can act with pa
tieDce and be meek. Though yet if the
roof was like sieve-whether fiat roof
or oblique, the landlord will come
around for rent with most undaunted
cheek.
An Oft-TOld Tale.