Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1877-06-28
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

We ask advice, but we mean appro-
bation.-C0lt0n. =rH
If an Indian woman is squaw isn't
an Indian Baby squawling?
Mean souls, like mean pictures, are
often found in good-looking frames. ....-
Sweet are the uses of diversity-in
getting up newspaper Y0nkeIS IN. y
Gazette. "-
A Pennsylvania Judge decides that
" divorce without publicity is never a
legal divoro,. IL.
Some people would never be remem-
bered but for the debts they owe, or the
bad deeds they, have committed. r
Turn about is fair play The alliga-
tors along the gulf are beginning to be
used for meat by the colored population
z "A boy writhing in the agonies of his
first summer stone bruise said he felt as
though he had stepped on jumpin'
toothache.
Very few railroad employees are killed
during their first years work. After they
think they know all about a railroad they
become less careful. ss iAH.'-
"A Baltimore man ran crazy just as he
was about TO solve the problem Of perpet-
ual motion, and woman's tongue is still
ahead. d.-DetrOit Free Press.
Because man prays himself hoarse
in church on the Sabbath day, it is no sign
that he does not prey elsewhere during the
week ays.-WhstehGH (N. ~ TINES.
The chief result of the Turco- Russian
war thus far has been to awaken the
world to the fact that neither side knows
how to ospell.-A oroOtc1 (Co71n. bulletin.
1t is seldom that a sick man leaves a
will that somebody doesn't attempt to
break; but has anybody recently heard
Of an attempt to break woman's will?
-"I say, Cousin Constance, I've found
out why you always call your mamma Ma
ter" Why, Guy q" q Because she's
always trying to find mate for you
girls"
"A Burlington doctor knocked a man
down for refusing to pay for his vaccina-
ton. The man thinks he is as thorough
ly inknuckleated as he wants to be-
H0a0keye. ..
Colorado is building more railroads
to-day than any other Western State or
Territory, and her mines and farms are
being developed more rapidly than for
years past.
The Sioux Indians never punish or
restrain their children, and this treatment
makes them grow up like some white
youths-saucy and untamable young saw
ages.-Chtcag0 Journal.
When a man at Portland called an
other citizen a fool he was arrested and
made to prove it. The jury returned a
verdict to the effect that the citizen had
been duly found to be fool.
Minnesota, where so much grain is
raised, is called a first-class wheat State
And Louisiana, where omuch sugar cane
is grown, should be called frst-class
sweet State, tOo.-N0rT5St0lU71 Herald.
Meyer mind, deaT, never mind, if you
are disappointed because you couldn't go
to the picnic Just think how much more
wretched and miserable those poor people
will feel who did go.-Bu11sngt0n HACK
Ege. .-
The average small boy is already
kicking up his heels at the thought that
his mothers brass kettle and his fathers
overcoat will net enough to take him safe
ly over the Fourth of July.-Erte DIS;
patch.
"A trif1e-...
The window is raised, and an auburn head
Looks out on t he pretty street below,
Where staid lit lie Jones, with studied tread,
Is making his way, unwarned of woe.
A mischievous breeze watts an auburn hair
Away to poor Jones in the pretty street;
And now see, it nestles with trusting rare,
On Jones dark vest where his heart doth
Unconscious he comes to his own dear home
And-ahi what is that? But we'll not bark.
Poor Jones! he is destined afar to roam;
For, oh! Mrs. Jones hair is dark!
Louisville Courier j Ou71a0l
"A New York paper brags about a
patent umbrella, in use over there, which
can be converted into camp-stool when
ever the owner desires to use it in that
But that is hardly worth men,
There is man in this city who
has an umbrella very much superior to
that one. When the weather is clear he
can carry it in his pocket, but if a storm
come up, he runs for vacant lot some
where, touches a spring and turns the um-
brella into a four-story orphan asylum,
crammed full of little orphansl He is
perfecting an improvement now which is
designed for the defence of our country,
Admiral Porter, for instance, sees an
enemy's ship in the of1ng (wherever that
is1. He Immediately seizes this umbrella
puts it under his arm, and swims out to
the hostile craft. When he arrives he
turns a crank in the handle (of the um-
brella, of cOursel, and there he is, with
forty gun frigate, full of main iibs, poop
decks, mizzen- matches, gaff-topsails and
those things.-PhizadezpA Bulletin.
Sleep, DR.. W. A. Hammond says,
may be defined as general repose. Almost
all the organs rest during sleep. The
heart, popularity supposed to be in per
petual motion, is at rest six hours out of
the twenty-four, the respiratory organs
eight, and the other organs more or less.
The brain alone is constantly employed
during wakefulness, and for it sleep was
formed and made needful to its preserva-
ton. 1t is true that sleep does not give
the brain total recess from labor; imagi-
nation and memory are often vividly
active during sleep, and unconscious cere-
bration likewise takes place, but enough
rest is obtained for the renovation of the
brain, and that which has been torn down
during Takefulness is to a certain extent
rebuilt. Sleep is a most wonderful power
often stronger than the will, as in the
case of the sleeping soldier-and more
mighty than pain, as when sick persons
and tortured prisoners sleep in the midst
of their suffering. No torture, it is said,
has been found equal to the prevention of
sleep. The amount of sleep needed differs
according to the constitution and habits
Big brains and persons who perform
much brain labor need large amount of
sleep. Children need more sleep than
grown people because construction is
more active than decay in their brains.
Carrier Pigeons as War Messengers.
A curious item in the military estimates