Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1877-08-30
Wit and Hlt7aO7.

"A motto for young lovers-So-fs ond
no father.
-Vassar has 3S5 girls-the f;.irest count
you ever heard Of
The proper costume for Il lady to wear
at mechanics ball is dress made of
tulie.
More little boys will be drowned this
month than there We're last. The month
has one more Sunday.
DAY by day the march of Improvement
goes on. "A Strawberry Hill girl has stuff
ed one of her slippers and uses it for IN
ironing board.
Are blacksHiths. who make 4 living,
by forging. or carpenters. who do Il little
colnter-titting. any worse than men who
sell iron and steel for living:
-Diogencs being asked, The biting of
which beast is the most dangerous"
answered.:
IF you mean wild beasts. It's the SLAM
derer: if tame ones the tlatterer."
A contemporary wonders whether
Cain and Able ever had the mumps or the
whoopingcough. Very probable. It's
certain. at all events, that thcrmotEer had
Adam.
1t was n little 3-year-old who, when 4
carpenter had been called in to ease tn"
doors. ran into an adjoining room to tell
her mother that he was taking the skin
off the door,
A thief explained to the Judge that he
had left the premises "under IN impulse to
righteousness. the testimony showed that
he had been kicked by man with Il No. II
boot.
-'.Home'S the place for boys" said a
stern parent to his son. who was fond of
going out at night:
That's Just what think when you
drive me off to school every morning.
said the son.
When Il young farmers wife made her
first boys pants precisely the same before
as behind, the father exclaimed:
"t;oOdness. he won't know whether he's
goin. to school or coming homc.''
and who don't advertise it. is as bad as the
man who buys $4,000 oil painting and
then presents it to Il blind asylum.
-'.IIow can you make St. Patrick Il saint
in your church when he lived and died in
minc.'' said Il Scotchman to son of Erin.
''Ocl,. nOw." he replied, land We know
he Was both. for he was Il twin" ..--~.,..-
There is said to be church in Berlin
made entirely of paper. The idea is carried
oHt by having little pages to introduce Wis
itors to the quire. while the preacher is
known as the papiey-masher of the pulpit.
-Beggar woman.-.Please.s sir. give me
Il few pennies. l haven't tasted food for
nigh on to two days
PhianthrOpic gcntlenmn.-'.Can't stop;
am late now; have got to make speech
at the Society for the Relief of the Dcsti-
tute!"
An old man had two sons, the one
minister and the other IL doctor. He was
very proud of them, and one day he said to
a friend:
be a medical man, and the ither IL clergy
man, l wad never hae haen auld Jenny
Gosh for their mither.'
Charles Kingsley said he did not see
why we should not be as just to an ant as
to 4 human being. Human beings don't
get up your trousers leg when you are at !.
picnic, and scare you within two feet ut
eternity.
"You may kiss him for his mother"
The widow archly said
AS she sent the little rascal,
Reluctant. off to bed.
''But think you should consider,
While thus you challenge fate,
Whether it would not be better
TO kiss his mother straight
-Stingy Aunt.-"Well. Robin, have you
enjoyed yourSelf:"
RObin.-"Oh. yes. aunt: but I wish
hadn't come. Brother Jim is sure to cry
halves when get home. and when say
you didn't give me nothing, he'll punch
my head for Il story
An epitaph on tombstone in Green
wood Cemetery. Brooklyn. n. y. reads:
Beneath this stone my wife and !,
Back to back together lie,
More blest than when ifa's short space,
We lied like others. face to face;
Now free tipm trouble, free from fear,
Ii she should scold could not hear
When the last trump the air shall fill,
Ii she gets up then III lie still.
-'.What we need is new men and new
measures said politician to an old dark
".
Yes, dat's so. boss said tie ancient
\fri' an, lie grocery man doesn't give IL
'ut bout nine quarts to de peck-and