The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1877-12-13
The Man with Rnbber Door Mats.
Cincinnati Breakfast Tablet

He went around by the side entrance,
and found the family at dinner, the
husband being absent. He said he had
called on urgent business, but his time
wasn't pressing, and He'd sit down by
the cook stove, and warm up his old
bones little till they got through.
"Don't mind me" he said, helping
himself to chair; keep right along
with the business before the house, and
don't let your jaws stop work on my ac-
count. 1 amt anybody much, an it
amt tn while for the children to shy
off into corners, no more'n if was their
old gran'pap, jest dropped in for lit
tie chat, an romp to settle down their
dinner afterwards. Pm a plain, blunt
old man, that don't shoye on any style;
an l never try to cast damper over
people that's happy an comfortable by
draggin' in my rheumatic an corns, an
sayin' that can't sleep at nights. No
mann. Pm not that kind of a buckle
berry. My motto is to do all the good
can in the world, and that's what sets
me skippin' around on such miserable
outlandish wet day as this is. says to
myself this mornin', when / first riz
from my bed, an see how the sky was
weepin', says /, tCalep Frybarger, this
is the sort O. weather for you to stir
around an try to benefit your suf-
erin feller-bein's. There's thousands o.
women in this yer town thasl cry till
their hair won't curl fore night over
spilled carpets, an the sooner you mosey
out with them onequaled rubber door
mats O. yourn the sooner you'll stop de-
struction, an the more prayers you'll
git remembered in this evenin'' Them's
the very words 1 said to myself, an
that's how I come to meander along
here Jest as l did, mann.
II don't come with hamin' banners
an tootin' horns, neither with coach
an four, nor gold galore, sendint
in my cards with mud-colored foot
man fixed up in clothes that Choctaw
Injun wouldn't put on to save hisseH
from bein' briled at the stake.
No, mann, not me. When ole Fry
barger comes to your house he's moi
above squattin' down right in the
kitchen, as common as an ole boot
that's me, every time. Hifalutin' air
an this chile never could agree. Al
you see me to-day SO you find me to
morrow, likewise Sunday or the middle
of next week. But as / was sayin',
didn't come out in the muss an slush tt
sling wind or make money-my mis-
sion is higher, an the price is SO re
diclusly low that the worst enemy PVT
got couldn't say mercenary onest.
GAS l may have remarked, have .
rubber door-mat that will bring you 10.
and save your carpets an health at leas
sixty-two an half per cent. The pric'
is only forty cents, or six for two dollars
With one O. them on each, doorstep
mann, you're fixed for the winter. Mut
can't scare you then. 1t can't get il
the house, nary time, an you save tn,
cost in brooms the first two months
"They'll be mighty soothin' to you
husband, too, you'll find. 1 don't know
why it is, for Pm no scholar, but it's a
sure as Judgment Day, that no mai
can strike one O. them Excelsior Doc
Mats without feelin' as though he hat
somethin' to live for. The man VIII,
never secured shoe-leather on one o
them unparalleled mud exterminators i
an imperfect bein'. I tell you, mann
for openin' the valves of the heart, an
givin' all the finer feelin's an impulse
full swing an the right sort of exercise
there's nothin' on this foot-stool cal
dance around a rubber door-mat.
"No man can feel right in his min,
with muddy boots, an no woman
don't care if she's full-grown angel
can see him sail in onto a Brussels cal
pet with 'em without feelin' like raisir
Belzebug, an what's more, mann, sh
ginerally does it. They're cheaper tina
missionary work at forty cents.
: Z" Statistics rightly bilt down, woul
i show that nine-tenths of all the famil
trouble, misery, an divorce busine:
goin', comes from mud bein' tracke
, over the carpet, an that's why 20
never hear much of 'em in a dry tim,
: l can see that this is happy home b
the scarcity of holes an dents in th
, plasterin', but what certainty have yol
mann, that muddy winter won't /
,, a reg'lar boa constructor of a serpent i
i your little Eden, if you don't have tt
! approaches guarded with my imperishi
BILE door-mats? As true as Pm vote
{ forty cents is jest excrutiatin'ly cheap,
| After all this talk he only sold on
and then the woman "jewed" hi
$ down to thirty cents.