Connecticut western news., 1877-11-30

Of carYerS. And even among those WnO might be expected, by reason of leisure and the education of the stomach, to set an ex- ample to their social interiors, the practice prevails of having the carving done at the sidebosrd, an unmanly practice which re- duces the part of the diner to mere eating, and robs him of the pleasure of the eye in admiring the fair proportions and culinary perfection of the bird or joint. or the dex terity with which it is resolved into help. ings. The result of all this is that carving has become one of the Lost Arts-that a joint at the average American table has the appearance of having been hurriedly blown up with nitro-glycerine and trimmed with a dull saw, while as for poultry, though the kitchen maid usually endesvors to aid the carver by cooking it to rags. the carver is too frequently compelled to recall the fact that fingers were made before knives, and falling upon the helpless bird, to tear it limb from limb.
 The average guest at thls average dinner is merely compelled, in the words of Long fellow,
 Mot to be doing, but to be-"
 s'Thou canst not say I did it; never shake thy gory joint at me-" he may say to the twice-butcbered beef, and he is only pas sive accomplice in such dislocations and wrenchings asunder as were never rivalled in the Inquisition or the prosecutions of the early Christians. But about Thanksgiving tide he is only too apt to be pressed into an active participation in deeds. at the bare thought of which his better nature revolts. Especially is this the case where he is en- gagged or likely to be engaged. His pro- spective fsther-in-law is sure to fix him with glittering carver, and jocularly ob- serve. Smith Cor Jones, as the case may be) my boy, carve that turkey Cor duck, ss the case may be.) You ought to begin now, for the kDowledge1l be useful to you when you go to housekeeping" The vic tim cannot escape, and repressing an incli- nation to cut his throat or stab his prospect I've father. in-law to the heart, attacks the bird with about as much rapture as the children of Israel did their quails.
 Over the dreadful scene that follows let us draw the kindly table-cloth of oblivion. Major Lawrence's description in "Brskes- peare" of the tearing in sunder of traitor by four Norman Stallions. is in comparison pleasant reading, and the two Great Twin Brethren returning from the Battle by the Lake were not 50 splashed and soaked with gore as are the guests at the foot of the ta- ble with gravy. The nspery is heaped with dressing and soaked with juices from the overhanging slices and joints for which, to the inexperienced carver, the lordliest dish eyer made, would be platter far too small. Into the carver's soul the iron of ignominy has entered far deeper than his fork into the breast of the bird with which he is waging unequal war; and who shall picture his agony and abasement when with slippery slide the elastic bird takes wing from of his platter and stoops upon the lap of richly attjred lady. How rare- ly does he possess the presence of mind re- corded of Everett, who, when c similar accident occurred during the consulship, turned forehead of brass and cheek like the neither millstone upon the victim and joYially cried: Miss, I'll trouble you for that goose!"
 The moral of all this is-what? That young men should learn to carve, as Chan cer's Squire did, before their fathers at the table, and not subject themselves to the fierce light which beat upon Thanksgiv- ing dinner. or forfeit the respect of their wives by exposing their incapaclty when they come to preside at tables ot their own. Nor should they trust to perilous cramming from cooGery books. As we'll might man enter upon duel with small-swords with no other preparation than the perusal of a volume on fencing. The good carver's work need not be altogether mechanical; it will be all the better if it is informed with, and accompanied by such tender artistic feeling as that which made Dennis repre- hend even with tears Hugh's clumsy pin ioning of old John Willet, or that manifest. ed by the butcher from whom was pur- chased the beef steak for Ruth Pinch's im- mortal pudding, that kindly and apprecia- tive man who said that meat ''must be hu- mored, not drove." But even if he does not possess this tender feeling, he may by practice and care attain to be very tolera- ble and to be endured wielder of the knife, one who will carve his turkey
 ''As dish fit for gods;
 Not heW him as a carcass fit for hounds" FAUToMATIo HEIGHT CAB COUPLER There is to be let up on ''fatal accidents from car coupling" A Buffalo man has invented patent coupler the main feature of which 1 an iron palate different from those used heretofore, resting on an axis back of the lower pin hole with the heft of the palate resting on the inside end of the link against the pin, thus holding the link in position to couple to the adjoining cal without the brakeman's intervention. The pin is not pulled entirely out in uncoupling, the last inch of pin catching In the bar top and the pm then being left resting on an outward angle upon the top of the plate in stantly falls into position when g link push es the palate back. The bunter face is bey eled, 90 that the approaching link end slides into place without difficulty. The draw bar also provides for oscillation, va riation in height of cars and slack of train, and gives 1.2 inches slack between draw bars, in addition to what the buffer spring gives. The cost of the whole arrangement is but four cents more than the common drawbar. besides being from 50 to 80 pounds lighter than many styles now in use. The weight is 14o pounds per bar.