The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1877-07-26
How TO Catch . Lunallc.

/ + became an assistant of DIR. b., the
superintendent of public insane
ASYLUM in what town it does not
matter: the location don't affect the
narration in the least.
As is all insane asylums, some OF
our patients wers docile and tracta-
bic. and had the freedom OF the house
aud hlgh-walled garden, while others,
being violent and dangerous In their
madness, were coniinedto their rooms.
Sometimes one OF these last named
gentleman would get loose, fact
which he immediately announced by
| breaking things generaiiy-upon
\ which announcement the doctor
would repair to the spot at which he
was 'elevating the ancient Henry
and, advancing upon him. with a
steadfast gaze, would fascinate HIM,
rs a black snake does catbird, ana
march him oil TO his room instanter.
| The doctors eye was never Known
10 fail; aud he impaired such a portion
OF ms literally charming quantities to
my fellow assistant ana myself, that
we were able To master any ordinary
/ naliae, although the doctor himself
/ had To attend 10 the tough custo-
mers.'
We had one lunatic by the name OF
smith, As tail Us rom Hyer aud Is
| strong as an ostrich, btcldes being
POSSESSED OF u strong digestive pow
er. as That interesting bird, Tor lie
once got loose and swallowed 80 many
cents that ue ratified when he walked,
! yet he showed 10 Injurious effects
| lrom the meal
lie had broken out of his room two
| or three times, but had always gone
lack very docilely when any vi us
made our APPEARANCE.
The asylum had Il saloon in the
eeHtte with u door al each eud; and
oae OF tiiese doors requiring lining
TN upon Il lime; cafpenter Was
| engaged upon it, when in trundied
Mr. smith and quietly possessed HIM
self OF Il long, sharp chisci. When
the carpenter looked around, the mad
man gave grin and poke of the
chiscl AT him, whereupon the terrili-
edfmln 81 ehpi- scuttied out and lock-
ed the door-then, while the enemy
Was batterng away at it, he rushed
around around and locked tho door at
the other end
Having thus Gagged the ostrich, he
gave the alarm; and |, supposing that
it was an ordinary case which | could !
easily control, unlocked the door
and catered boldly, whereupon he
made rush mt ne, and incontinent-
" to!ted.
The doctor was sent for. He came, |
and, after accommodating through the
keyholc, and aseertaining that the
enemy was 1T the other end Of the |
room, he opened the door, and saw at
once that his eye would fail him in
this emergency.
Here was apparently a Dilemma.
Here Was certainly Il problem Giten:
\ crazy individual, strong a. bull,
perfectly uncomfortable, and armed
with deadly weapon. Required:
How TO catch him.
To capture him by force was Diff
cult and dangerous undertaking, and
To- starve him out would be tedious
affair.
But the doctor did not hesitate for
IA moment.
Alfred said ne, go down into
the surgery, till the largest syringe
with hartshorn, aud bring it up.
| caught the idea, rushed down,
and brought back quart spLinge
filled with hartshorn-diuted- |
didn't want to kill the man.
Then the doctor, Jones. and N.Y.
self formed an army of invasion. We
threw open the door, aud entered i'm
tho following battle array.
l. oSiiis sHofteSl oI the three.
first, holding a chair in
front Of me by the back. so that the
legs might keep oifa rush If our pop
gun flashed in the pan. Then came
Jones, with the syringe resting on
my shoulder like piece Of flying ar
tilery.
Finally. IL the rear, in the safest |
place, like all great generals, came DIR. |
b.
The iu.atic sat at the other end OF |
the hall on IA chair, cycling us keenly |
and savagely. Slowly, very slowly. |
we advanced toward him. 1t seemed |
to me that We were seven miles apart |
from the length of time it took to ap. |
proach him. The nearer we got, the |
more wicked that chisel looked. and |
the handle seemed TO increase till i, |
was long rs "A broomstick. When we
got within few feet of him, be Jump
cd up and sprang at Us.
Fire. cried the general. from
the rear; ind whiz, spatter. splash
went the quart of hartshorn right
bang into his countenance; down he
went like a log-it would have knock
down battalion and while he wa,
catching his breath we caught him.