The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1877-09-28
WIT AND HUMOR.


THE question of the hour-What time
is it
BRIGHAM You've was killed by too
much corn. He would have been a
good subject for Bunyan.
SALT LAKE CRY just at present re-
minds one of Wall street speculation;
there's no great prophet in it.
WHEN a man is making love to widow
he always feels as if he had to begin
where the other fellow left off.
GA SPECIAL dispatch to the Paris pa
pers report that the Gear is ILL.," Indi-
gestion probably; little too much Tur-
key.
"WHAT is the interior of Africa prin-
cipally used for?" asked a teacher of
pupil For purposes of exploration,
was the reply.
JOHNNIE lost his knife. After search
ing in one pocket and another until he
had been through all without success, he
exclaimed: "Oh, dear wish Ihad an
other pocket, it might be in that p
A REPORTER for a Wisconsin paper
writes: ''Those who personally know
our esteemed fellow-citizen, Col. -,
will regret to hear that he was brutally
assaulted last evening, but not killed."
In most places ga stones throw"
G. five minutes walk" etc., are used for
measures of short distances. In Du-
buque, however, they speak of a place
as being within the bawl of mule"
Ii makes boy heart-sick as the win
ter's wood begins to loom up in steadily
growing piles in the backyard, and he
sees his mother making preparations for
organizing him into a workingmans
party.
GovERNEss-" Do you know, Ernest,
that heard of a little boy not older
than you who can read and write well,
and who has begun Latin ?" Ernest
Oh, say, what jolly good teacher
he must have -
"MUsrNG on the infinite, eh ?" said a
facetious chap to melancholy-looking
individual who was walking along the
roadside with bowed head and serious
countenance. "Well, yes same thing
thinking of my debts.
A GOOD little boy who was kicked by
mule did not say naughty words or go
home crying to his mother. He just tied
the mule within five feet of a beehive,
backed him round to it, and let him
kick.-RichD1ond Dispatch.
A ROMAN who recently returned from
Philadelphia informs us that the Keely
moter consists of pound of boarding
house butter shut up in an iron box.
This statement will do much to renew
confidence in the power of the motor
Rome IN ~ Sentinel.
GALL the worlds STAGE" he rumi-
mated, "and all the men and women
merely players, and most of the plays
are from Shakespeare, too Before we
were married, Julia and played Romeo
and Juliet, and now it's mostly Tenn
pest.
ADoLPHUs, dear, what shall do?
Bridget has struck, and there she stands
at the kitchen door with poker in one
hand and a saucepan in the other,
threatening to break the head of the
new help if she dares to lay her hand to
dish-rag. It's just awful, so it is, too"
HERE is conundrum which we do not
remember to have seen in print: Why is
pig looking out of second-story win
dow like the moon? Because he looks
round. If anybody triumphantly re-
torts that the moon doesn't always look
round, You can reply that the pig doesn't
either.-LoweU Courier.
els THIS the place, she asked, as she
wandered down on the barren sands,
"where young lady-a beautiful young
lady-fell into the water and was rescued
by a gallant young man, whom she after
ward married ?" He looked at her care
fully. estimated her at a square AZ, with
false teeth, and said /: Yes, ma'am, but
I don't know how to swim.
WYE LA BAGATELLE!
About year so ago, -.
when was young and quite conceited,
I CHANGED TO meet the prettest girl,
thought, my eyes had ever greeted.
It's useless for me 70 repeat
The tale with which we're al acquainted;
lost my heart TO her at once,
And found her all my fancy painted
loved her, or thought did,
YET found my true love had miecarried,
For when asked her heart and hand,
She said she was already married.
This was year or 80 ago,
when was young and sentimental,
NV heart was nearly broken then;
Now don't care continental.
-New York Sun.