Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-03-14
BILL AND THE WIDOW,

"Wife,' said Ed. Wilbur, one morn
ing, as he sat stirring his coffee with
one hand, holniug plum cake on his
knee with the other, and glanced across
the table into the bright eyes of his
neat little wife; wouldn't it be good
joke to get bachelor Bill Smiley to take
widow Watson to Barnum's show next
week p
"Yoa can't do it, Ed. he won't ask
her; he's SO awful shy. Why he came
by here the other morning when I was
hanging out some clothes, and he
looked over the fence and spoke, but
when / shook out night gown, he
hlushed like a girl, and went away"
60 [ think can manage it, said Ed
6 but I'll have to lie just little. But
then it wouldn't be much harm under
the circumstances, for / know she likes
him, and he don't dislike her; but. SIS
you say, he's SO shy. I'll just go over
70 his place to borrow some bags of
him, and if I don't bag him before
come back, don't kiss me for week,
Nellie"
So saying, Ed. started, and while he
is crossing the field, we will take look
at Bill Smiley. He was rather good
looking fellow, though his hair and
'whiskers showed some grey, and he
had got In q set of artificial teeth.
Every one said he was good soul, and
so he was. He had as good hundred
acre farm as any in Norwich, with a
new house and everything comfortable,
and if he wanted wife, many girl
would have jumped at the chance, like
rooster ON q grasshopper. But Bill
wa8 SO observation-disclosures was-and when
Susan Berrybottle, whom he was sweet
on, though he never said "boo" to
her, got married to old Watson, he
just drew In his head, like an old mud
turtle, into his shell, and there was no
getting him out again, though it had
been noticed that since Susan had be-
conae widow, he had paid more at
tention to his clothes, and had been
very regular In attendance at the
church the fair widow attended.
But here comes Ed. Wilbur.
Good morning, Mr.. Smiley"
Good morning, Mr.. Wilbur, what's
the news up your way?"
Oh, nothing particular, that know
Of" said "only Barnum's show that
everybody is talking about and every
body and his girl is going to. 1 was
over to old Sockrlder's last night, and
/ see his son Gus has got new buggy
and was scrubbing up his harness, and
he's got that white-faced colt of his
IS slick as 8 seal. understand he an
sicipates taking widow Watson to the
show. He's been hanging around there
good deal of Late, but I'd just cut him
+ out [ would. Susan is q nice little
woman, and deserves better man
tnat young pup of fellow, though /
would not blame her much either if
she takes him, for she must be dread
ful lonesome. and then she has to let
he1 farm out on shares, and it isn't half
worked, and no one else seems seems
to have spunk to speak up to her. By
jlngo, If were single man I'd show
you q thing Or two.
So saying, Ed. borrowed some bags
and started around the corner of the
barn, where he had left Bill sweeping,
and got his ear to knot hole and lis
tened, knowing that the bachelor had
habit of talking to himself when any
thing worried him.
"Confound that young Sockriderl"
said Bill, "what business has he there,
I'd like to know9 Got new buggy,
has hef Well, so have I, and new
harness too, and I declare I've half
mind to-yes. I'll 60 this very night
and ask her to go to the show with me.
I'll show Ed. Wilbur that I amt such a
3 calf as he believes am, if did let
old Watson get the start In the first
place"
ed. could scarcely keep from laugh
ing outright, but he hastily hitched the
bags on his shoulder, and with a low
chuckle at his success, started home to
tell the news to Nellie; and about five
o'clock that evening they saw Bill go
by with his horse and buggy on bis way
to the widows. He logged along quiet
ly, thinking of the old singing school
days-and what q pretty girl Susan was
then, and wondered inwardly if he
would have more courage to talk up to
her, until at distance of about mile
of her house he came to bridge over
Large creek, and it so happened that
just as ne came to the bridge he gave
q tremendous sneeze, and blew his
teeth out of his mouth and clear over
the dashboard, and striking a plank
they rolled over the side of the bridge
and dropped into four feet of water.
Words can not do justice to poor
Bill, or paint the expression on his face,
as he sat there, completely dumb
founded at his starting piece of ill-luck.
After awhile he stepped out of his bug
gy and getting down on his hands and