The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1877-04-12
ALI Sorts Of Paragraphs.

"A man cannot win golden opinions
by the exhibition of his brass.
"A man with corns felt better after
meeting man with no feet.
Good headquarters for young men
-on the shoulders of their sweethearts.
1t is impossible to travel into a
woman's affections by getting on her
train.
Rubbing the hands with cologne
before putting on kids, keeps them from
getting clammy.
A doctor was asked to dance the
lancers; he declined, but, expressed a
willingness to lance the dancers.
Girls, don't be afraid to work. Ruth
cleaned in the harvest field and got just
as good Boaz any girl in the neighbor-
hood.
What is the difference between an
accepted and rejected lover? The ac-
cepted kisses the Miss and the rejected
misses the Kiss.
"Jemima Susan, did you get my let
teri" eyes, Dick" "I sent it in the
hope of raising fame" "Dick, you
succeeded, for it lit the gas"
The man who returned from the
Centennial without medal is confident
that he could have taken one if they had
notbeen so carefully guarded by police
men.
"A Western paper, in describing an
accident recently, says, with much can
dor: seDr. Jones was called, and under
his prompt and skilled treatment the
young man died on Wednesday night" !"
An eminent philosopher says, good
nature and contentment are far more val
uable accomplishments than music and
dancing; the young should cultivate
them, as treasures to be enjoyed when
age comes on.
"A spendthrift, who had wasted near
lysall his patrimony, seeing an acquain-
tnce in coat not Of the newest cut, told
him he thought it had been his great
grandfathers's coat. $50 it was" said
the gentleman; "and 7 have also my
great-grand-father's land, which is more
than you can say"
-"That ar patch of grounds mem'ri-
ble," said an Omaha man, pointing to q
grave all by itself outside the town. II
reckin' you'll know that, stranger, when
you see it sg'in. The ockypant Of that
was the furst man Horrus Greely ever
told to git West-likewise he was HING
for stealin' mewl."
An exchange says: because we
happen to take our shotgun, and start
out for an afternoons cunning, it is no
reason why half dozen impudent per-
sons should inquire if we were on tour
of collecting subscription money. The
times are hard, and ammunition costs too
much money to be wasted on delinquent
subscribers just now"
For sixteen years the State Depart
ment has been presided over by citizen
of New York-Mr. Seward for eight years
and MI. Fish for the same period. Now
Mr.. Eyarts, another citizen Of New York,
takes the State Department, and at his
invitation still another citizen of New
York, Frederick w. Seward, will be First
Assistant Secretary ofState. MIR. Seward
occupied the same position under his
father.
Ten years ago handsome young
man passed throug gh Monticello, KY, and
was noticed by young girl sitting at the
window of the most aristocratic house of
the town. She fell in love with him at
first sight. She had wealth, culture and
beauty. He was poor, and was then on
his way to seek fortune as cattle herder
in Texas. After many ups and downs he
found himself the owner of silver mine
in New Mexico. The girl bloomed into
a rarely beautiful woman, with literary
ability, and became contributor to the
Apostolic Times. She learned who the
unconscious object of her fancy was, and
they corresponded throughout the ten
years. She never wrote q word OF her
personal attractions or family, nor did he
speak of his good fortune. A few weeks
ago he wrote her proposing marriage, and
soon followed his letter to her Kentucky
home, where he saw her for the first time.
Recently they were married, and Miss
Annie Berry, that was, learned on reach
ing Silver City, that her husband, R: B.
Metcalf, was the greatest capitalist in