Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1877-09-21
Alffan0ria 0ax&tt&
FRIDAY EVENING, SEPTR. q.
N0Jnadic Filtration.


young nau who loves to put on the appearance
of vice. There are multtudes Of young men
wholly devoid Of vices who labor to produce
upon the minds OF casual strangers the impras
| sion that they are among the most reckless and
abandoned Of youth. The rural undergraduate,
who never dIioks anything stronger than cur.
rant wine, and whose nearest approach to gal.
lantry has been game Of backgammon with
| bis maiden aunt, 30 sooner enters railway
| train 90 his way home to speud a vacation
| than he Joins with others Of his kind in singing
! roaring bacchanalian choruses and loudly wishes
| that be had thought to briog pack of cards
with him, so that game CT euchre for the
drinks" might be practicable /. is this long.
ing to be credited with vices which. in his in.
most heart, he spurns, that leads him to seize
with avidity any opportunity to enter into con.
versation With the first silly girl whose atten:
ton he may attract. Many youth who would
blush at q glimpse of his sisters innocent
stockings floating from the olothes-line, is ex.
allied to the summit Of bliss if he can imagine
that some censorious person mistakes him for
hardened roue. 10 point OF fact this mistake
is never made, since he bears the brand OF 10.
uocence upon his brow, and proclaims by every
action the harmless idiocy of bis character.
Nevertheless, his self concat ls wounded by no
suspicion Of the truth, and he firmly believes
that his innocent ears are hidden by the lions
skin OF vice iu which he masquerades.
The delights OF nomadic filtration We're re
gently signally illustrated by the experience OF
Youthful student of one of the colleges 10 this
Statc. 3t While in a railway car this young an
saw an unprotected young lady, and marked
borC I,or n
began a conversation by . few powerful and
convincing remarks about the weather. The
young lady, who was quito his peer 10 amlable
Stiffness. at first answered him in able mono
syllabcs, and finally yielding to the wiles of her
new acquaintance joined with him in deVour.
ug the seductive peanut aud in trying her ior'
tune with the prize candy that cheats but does
not otinebriatc-ualess We may regard colo as an
iotoyicaton of the stomach For nearly an hour
this raro and radiant maiden, whom her parents
named Sarah Jane, and this lnn0cuous under
graduate whose name is charltably suppressed,
Arted to their own immense satisfaction. and
INDUCED in that curious though innocent amuse-
ment known az "tce hccing' until the other
passengers even wished that they were dead.
Eiually, the young man felt that he must retire
10 order to chucklo in private and ease his
strained mind by exullingiy calling himself "a
wild young devil" aad he thereupon sought
the smoking car aud painfully began the con.
sumption Of mild Connecticut cigar.
His dream Of bliss vas soon Interrupted by
the appearance Of the conductor, who abruptly
demanded that watch Now, The young
man had no watch OF any kind, and said 80
with cearnes5 which did him credit. The
conductor then explained that he had stolen
young lady's watch, and that he must come
With him and restore it without delay. he'd as
rose was 10 when he confronted the young
lady, with his collar in the tight grasp OF the
conductor ) hand, and tlmldly denied her herce
accusation that be was pickpcckot. Of course
the incident created immense excitement 10
the car, and The young lady s tears were accept
ed by everybody as conclusive evidence OF the
truth CT her charge. One old gentleman, who
had beca unable 10 read his newspaper in COZ
sequence OF the prolonged "tec. hseing already
mentioned, remarked that man who Would
force himself Oh an innocent girl as the uader-
graduate had done would uLqnestl )Dably pick
pockets OF pcrpctratc any other detestable
crime. Il was the unanimous opinion OF the
passengers that he should be made tv dlsgorge,
and should then be either thrown S9m the
train while 10 motion or should be tied hand
aud foot 10 tho baggage car aad delivered to
the police at the next stopping place one
large mao, with short hair aud partially leveled
nose, took the Eround that Wnat the fellow
rea!ly Waulea vas, ia substance, change OF
head. aud tnat he felt it nis duty 10 provide
him with new h3ad without the leass delay.
Meanwhile the young man begged ioc mercy,
a1d implored the young lady to look 10 her
pocket and see if she could not hnd the misslog
watch. The conductor, who was married mao,
and knew that the female pocket is never used
ior watch carrying purposes was SO lnd'goaft
at what be called the cheek o1 this sugget-
tion that he called q brakeman to bold the mis-
cradle young man, SO that ne could go through
him." as he mseapborically expressed IT, The
youpg man WIS accordingly searched WITH great
thorougbnes bat with no notable result save
the discovery of small comb. which be proVl
dently carried in his pocket ln order to be pre-
pared in case of sudden aud protuas growth
Of mustschc. When it became evident that
the watch was not concealed upon his person,
il was decided that he had either swallowed 1t
or secretly dropped it out Of the window, and
the conductor partly ia order to prevent the
eifusion of blood on the velvet cushions OF the
car, stopped the train and deposited the young
man 10 q nice swalnpy spot. Precisely htteen
minutes afterward Miss Sarah Jane gave JOY
ful sbriek and extricated the watch from some
mysterious locality Immediately behind the
front of her dress, into which it had accident
alIv sIjpped. Thus was the innocence OF the
under graduate established, and he thereupon
sank 10 public estimation from skliul pick.
pocket to the more degrading position OF an un.
limited idiot.
That particular young man has had lesson
which will probably keep him from romantic
filtration for some time to come. Let US hope
that the rest of his kind will also heed the warn.
ing conveyed by his experience, and that young
ladies' will shun the conversation and peanuts
of strangers, lest they should fod themselves es
entertaining pickpockets unawares. r.
Times.
MERCHANT TAILORS.