Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1877-11-01
Wit and Hunz0r.

= arnlca.
4. There's no use in your ever taking
y lazy man to task. lie won't perform it
II you do.
-"Everybody," says an exchange, s'ljke
ID radisaes in Japan" It's mistake. W,
r. don't for one. We like ours here.
" There they co. said a Chicasoan
y poin,ing 10 fashionable couple, recent,
d marricd: 1.-TWO souls with but single
e thousat-how 10 get rid of each other.''
II The Sing ofa hornet will p,r,lyze 8
spider. 1t has directly opposite effect on
man, rOusing all his faculties into the wild.
: est and most vigorous action.
An Ii'isilman having bought a pair Of
boots that were 100 small for him. .'Faith.' .
said he. Il Shall have 10 Wear them three
> or four lines before l can get ,;lem on!'
-''John.' asked the doctor of the apot;l-
eca'v's boy, did Mrs. Green get the medi-
c:re orderedy'
II guess so." replied John. s'for l saw
ci:'pe on Tue door-knob this mo o-.ning."
"A Naturalist claims to have discovered
. that crows, When in fiocks. have regularly
organized courts. in which they sit around
and try offende.s-a sort Of crow bar, so 10
speak.
-'Avoid that which YOU blame others
for doing,' says one of our wise men.
Wtll. things have come to pretty pass if
= man can't Eiss his own wife.-Ou Citv
Derrick.
-Guest-''Ijow did cabbaSes happen to
grow in that allayway; they certainly
could not have been planted there"
Acute porter-"L:l. no; that's where
the ge'men throw tieir Havana cigar
+, stulnDs."
"A contemporary asks: care skunks
liable 10 60 mad?'' We can't answer The
question. but it is said that Il person who
too closely interviews one is liable to go
very much that way. indeed.
A passenger on an ocean steamer, who
who was charged an exorbi:ant price by
the steward fora lot Of extra pies anG tarts,
remarked that ''tLe pie-rates of the deep
are, of course, always detestable.''
-''Ah, old fellow. how's tile lumbago
and how S all at home:''
''Better, thanks. Pm bachelor Just 1T
prescnt-wife's S visiting her MOTHER
''Ah! then you're fish oui O. wafer"
''Precisely-hot water.''
-"Musing on the infinite, eh?' said a
ance.
"Well, yes; same thing-';'inh'ng Of II
debts.''
Seats are worth dollar piece. in
Ronc.n said an old lady. looking up from
her newspaper.
IL don't WONDER" said her husband.
orimlv: I'D willingly give do!lsr piece
for all the cats in this nei3hbolhood-
dea(i.'
A stranger arrived in st. Louis, look
look at the city and shot himself. In his
pockets were found IS cents and stub OF
a lead pencil, which caused the coroner
Jury to return verdict: ''CilicaSo editor
couldn't stand prosperity"
Mrs. Strasbergher, of Reading. has re-
Gently found cluster diamond ring in
package of coffee. If she'd only let the
nnblic know what brand of coffee that was,
there are grounds for believing it would be
in demand.
Up in Rutland, VT, a man he's just had
a piece of window glass, more than two
inches long, taken from his leg. where it
had been for eighteen years. 1t may be
truly said that during that entire period
he has never been absolutely free from
pane.
81 think, my dear,'' said Mr.. Hayes, as
he took his nightshirt from under the pill
low, THAT we will give dinner by and by,
and have Sherry
..Rutherford!' - said Mrs. Hayes.
"Have Sheridan and some Of the army
people. continued the cOmnander-in-
chief. as he adroitly slipped into bed, and
left Mrs. H. to tuck up the baby and turn
down the gas.
-"Gct out'n my way!' roared drunk
en- sailor, who had staggered against Sir
Rodney Mundy.
"Don't you know that l am Admiral
Mundy?" Indignantly exclaimed Sir Rod
ney.
IL don't care" roared the sailor, iii you
are Admiral Monday, Tuesday, Wednes-
day. and every other day in the week. Get
! out'n mn ,oay'' And the admiral got out
of his way.
-"Just look at my thimble,' said a
young lady to her beau; lit Is actually
, worn out. Don't you think ought to be
rewarded for my industry?'' The young
man said he thought she should be, and
the next day he sent her new cap for her
finger, with the following lines:
az send Won a thinble for fingers nimble,
Which hope win fit when you try 1t;
twill last YOU long If it's half as strong
/ AS the hint which YOU gave me to buy It. -
-Abdulah, Turk, went to the resi-
Z dence of Nasereddin to borrow his mule.
Naseretdin, who was not ready lender,
said that the mule was not at home. AT
!, that moment the mule brayed loud enough
to wake the echoes. ''What did you say
:. Nasereddin, that your mule was not al
4 home-but hear him"
: s.Go thy way, false Ablullah," said his
s neighbor, ..you are not true friend, fol
you believe the mule and refuse to take my
word"
A gentleman had been bothered sc
constantly with tramps and their entrcaties
: for something to eat that he instructed nj;
r cook to tell them she had nothing. The
!. otlier day one of them dropped in and
made the usual plea and inquiry. The cool
s responded promptly:
: I'VE have nothing ut all"
4 The tramp then courteously asked
i ''Ilave you an old basket you could let MI
u l,uvo ~