Carson daily appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1873-1877, 1877-04-14
Mr.. HAYES'S COUSIN.

The Pecksniilian policy OF the new
administration affords too tempting
q mark for the Sun to withhold from
il the always sharp-set arrows Of it,
sarcasm. The following from that
not over-amiahle paper is too good
to withhold
The Presidents private secretary
opened the door leading to the inner
room, and announced in lond and
distinct voice:
gentleman who says that he is
q relative OF Mrs. Hayes y
All |" said Mr. Hayes, in q voice
equally loud and distinct, show
him in. ! am always gaId to Gee
family connections. BY the way. ask
my shorthand writer TO come in.
too
The relative OF Mrs. Hayes
approached the President and winked
Mr. Hayes approached the relative oil
Mrs. Hayes and winked in return.
The shorthand reporter also winked
and took ont his notebook.
" ] see You don't recognize me"
said the relative OF Mrs. HAYES.
My name is pettengill, aud live
in Oshkosh. My wife is a cousin OF
yVir excellent lady"
Put that down. said Mr.. HAYES
to the shorthand writer. The short
hand writer winked and put it down.
My dear Pettengill, am
delighted to see you. regard Mrs.
Hayes cousins as my own cousins, .
said MIR. Hayes cordially. You
got that p he added, turning to the
reporter.
:" came East" continued the
cousin Of Mrs. Hayes, ito see about
the Oshkosh Post Office. Some OF
the people there think | would make
q good Postmaster, and, OF course,
being a cousin
Pardon NE. my dear Mr.. Petten.
gill. said Mr.. Hayes, speaking
slowly in order that the reporter
might catch every word. II have
no doubt that you would make an
admirable. faithful, and efficient
Postmaster, and it would give mo
great pleasure to sign your appoint.
ment. But, you see, there is one
insurmountable obstacle in the way.
The fact OF your cousinship disa uaii-
Ties yon Tor any position in my gift.
Good day, sir. / am sorry
Hold on, Mr.. President" whisp.
cred the cousin this won't do.
THIS is the same form Of rejection
You used week before last, when /
came from Maine to apply for the
Collectorship Of Kennebnnk. Try
something else--some new sarcasm. =
The shorthand man consulted his
notes and corroboratcd the statement
OF the cousin.
Well, them" said Mr. HAYES
cross out what you have written
aud begin again. My worthy cousin
! am gratiied TO have met Won.
Mrs. Hayes often speaks OF her great
affection for yonr estimable wife.
and Of the delightful harmony which
reigns in your domestic circle"
THAT is good" interrupted the
cousin, and it's new"
cannot" continued Mr.. HAYES.
after thinking for q moment, !. in
view OF the esteem in which | hold
yon and your charming family.
thrust upon you the cares aud ankle.
ties OF post Office. | cannot. l
cannot, Mr. Pettcngill Good
morning"
The shorthand writer got up to 90.
Manifold the dialogue" said Mr.
Hayes. ''and send IL to all the
papers.
Am to come again. Mr.. Preu.
dent 2 asked Mrs. Hayes cousin.
" You had better apply pe.t
week. said Mr. Hayes, "for a pos,
Office somewhere in the Middle
States. or else o Lighthouse on the
Pacific coast. And couldn't YOU
manage to put little moro chaerin
in your face rs you go out2 The
ante. room is full OF newspaper cor.
respondents. Try and look a IL
you had been badly snubbed. Per.
haps oven . slight manifestation OF
temper would help along civil