The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-05-04

as sound as a brick, and his head was level
He was grinning and chuckling wher
death overlook him, and when the coffir
was opened for the last time in church fol
a look, the face of the dead Van Dreyel
wore pleased expression. The mystery
was revealed when the will was opened. T
was in due and legal form, and the frst
provision read:
"To my good and faithful wife I give and
bequeath the sum Of $4,000 cash in bank.
provided that the said Augusta Van Drey.
er suffers the loss of her ears within three
days from the date of my burial. In case
she refuses to part with her ears, she shall
have the sum of $500 cash. and no more. .
When Frau Van Dreyer heard the above
provision read, she clapped her fat hands
to her large ears, uttered yell Of despair
and dismay, and tainted dead away. II
there was any fun in that, she couldn't rel
ish it.
The second provision of his will related
to his eldest son, Carl, and it read:
My son Carl is very fond OF hunting
| give and bequeath him the sum of s., 1000
IN United States bonds, and / have secret
ed them where he viii have all the hunting
he wants. before he finds them. Ifhe new
er finds them, they are to be given to the
German schools of Detroit"
stDot is a pig shoke on met' growled
Carl; and he left the room to find consola-
ton in his pipe, while the lawyer read the
third provision:
"My daughter Katrina is always before
the looking-glass, when she should be help
ing her mother or mending her brothers
clothes. direct that my saloon be sold
as soon as possible, and one-half the mon
ey laid out in looking glasses for Katrina,
while the other half be given for the pur-
chase ofribbons."
30, vas | porn to hear such dings as
dose r walled the thin WASTED Katrina,
and she would have tainted away had not
the son Carl made up face at her, through
the window, and aroused her sisterly indig-
nation. The lawyer had solemn duty to
perform, and he continued reading
"Ay second son, Hans, is lazy and good
| give and bequeath him my
grocery building, land and stock, knowing
hat he will have nothing left at the end of
he year. Before entering into possession
1e shall saw and split six cords of hickory
wood. If he fails to comply with this pro-
,ision, the property shall be sold, and the
asylum IN Michigan.
"Such shokes-such shokesF' groaned
Hans, and he slid out to comfort the fat
Carl, who was wondering if the bonds left
him were buried in the cellar or hidden in
The garret. There was still another son.
He sat in the corner, grinning at his moth
er and winking at Katrina, and the lawy
went on:
"My son Gustavus is good boy, and he
can take a joke as well as his father. |
therefore leave him just what began life
withholding, and I hope he will make
good use of it,
Gustavus quit grinning in about Gin
cinnati second, and he family called out i;
"IfI can dake dot shoke, den I doan.'
know
The lawyer had finished the family, but
that wasn't the end. Funny Jacob Van
Dreyer had some friends whom he thought
ft to remember, and he had said:
"As Theodore Gust has been a lifelong
friend of mine, / desire to leave him the
svm of $500. Before taking possession ot
thss money he must have his whiskers al
cut off and his head shaved, to attest hi:
sorrow at my departure from this gooe
world"
Mr.. Gust was on hand to hear the read
ing of the will, and he felt of his bush.
hair and long goatee. glanced ont at 4h'
bowling winter storm, and he smiled sad
sweet smile as he shook his head and re
plied
fsltss lil> = - na,lf dol hg sue
dings, eh 2"
uAnd as Jacob Heine has also been
good friend of mine, said the will, ian
as he is inclined to think we'll of himsel
| will and bequeath him my dying opir
ion that he is the greatest Dutchlnan !
America. If he viii take the strawberr
color out of his nose within three week
from my burial, he is to have money enoug
from my estate to buy him five barrels
beer
Jacob Heine was also there. He ha
worn very bland look, and he had chuc
led over Nj. Gusts set back, but his oN
downfall left him as limp as . rag. I
slapped his leg, and called out;
I'Vhy does dot dead man make son
shokes on his best frent2 | won't tai
dot peer-by golly, nor
The fat widow, the lean daughter, al