The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1877-01-10
HARD TIMES.
TIE CAUSE AND CURE.

Oharlie.-Well, little wife, got on youl
thinking cap, eh, instead of welcoming
your tired and discouraged husband
home after a hard days work doing
nothing in the store2
Maggie.-Yes, Charley, your com
plants about hard times have been run.
ming in my head ever since dinner, and
lhave gone into calculation.
.Charlie.-A calculation | well, my
sweet, mathematical fnancier, can you
show me how We are going to live this
year, with trade. fallen off fifty per
cent, and twenty per cent. of the bills
that we do make gone to the dogs9
Maggie.-Perhaps can, by-and-bye,
but have just fnisht d a general eati-
mate of what might be done to cure the
hard times.
Charlie. yeti Come, lsssie,
out with the figures, and I will have
them posted on the bulletins, and quo
ted on Change before nine o'clock to-
morrow morning.
Maggie be sarcastic, Charlie ;
there may be more sense in this "goosie
head" as you sometimes call it, than
you think.
Charlie.-All right. Proceed to busi-
ness.
Maggie.-Well, first, I must "pre-
iminate," as Parson B. says, that hard
times come from waste.
Charley.-Our Bridget's waste, for
exampleI
Maggie.-Be quiet, please, and do
not interrupt the speaker.
Charlie. pardon. I am all at
tention.
Maegie.-1n the United States, in
1870, 81, 500, 100000 worth of intoxica.
ting drinks and $610, 900, 900 worth OF
tobacco we're consumed the expendi-
lures for icentiousness were as much
more, giving a total Of 81, ,220, 900, 900
,Uasted in the qualification of three appe.
tites. Suppose this sum was saved. It
would give to each Of the 5000, 900
families in our land free rental Of 5000;
four barrels Of flour at $7-S28 one
barrel of pork, 1922 ; one barrel Of beef,
$13; six barrels of potatoes at $2-$12
three barrels of apples at $4$12 T.; 100
pounds of sugar at thirteen cts., $13 |;
forty pounds OF butter at thirty.fve cts.,
S14; one suit of clothes for the father,
$50; one suit of clothes for the mother,
S45; three suits Of clothes for the chill
dren at $25-$75; annual premium on q
life insurance policy Of 81, 800, $47.
Total, 1926 for each family, still leaving
SO, 500, 900 surplus une1pended.
Oharie-Maggie, you astound me
You have surely made some great mis-
take!
Maggie-Well, run over the figures
for yourself. You are noss..more sur
prised than I was, but can find no
error in the calculation. The amount OF
liquor and tobacco consumed is as
officially reported in the United States
census. The estimate of the amount
wasted in icentiousness is my own, but
certainly far within the truth. Now, if
we could have our proportion OF those
articles given to us this year, I think
that We might live comfortably, even
with the diminished trade. Certainly II
oil this amount were saved but for a
single year, the hard times would vanish.
Charlie. You're @ jewel, wiley! But
if hard times are to remain until men
cease their indulgences, I fear that pros
perity is very far off. Az for myself, I
can give up my wine without much SELF
denial, but my cigars have become a
necessity!
Maggie.-Oh, Charlie, don't say that.
It makes me shudder; not that smoking
is so very distasteful to me, but your
plea of necessity looks 80 like surren-
der of manliness to the power OF an evil
habit.
Charlie. TO my'sorrow, I must
confess that whenever have attempted
to break off the habit has foored me,
and have come out second best every
time.
Maggie.-Perhaps you did not try in
the right way.
Obarlie.-f just tossed my cigar into
the street, and said I wouldn't use an
other, and didn't until lost my appe-
tite, trembled all over like leaf, lost
my power of recollection, and really
thought I would 60 crazy, or break
down in general collapse, then took
the weed and was soon all right again:
Maggie.-Did you crave it all that
time2
Charlie. -"Crave it !" I was stark
mad for it; dying for want of it.
Maggie. Have you never heard OF a
method of cure, perfectly painless, in
Simultaneous, and so complete that the
craving never is felt.
Charlie, ,-Bosh! there isn't medi-
cine on earth that will do all that.
Maggie-But suppose that number
of credible witnesses testify that they
have been personally cured in that waya
Charlie.-If they are really credible
witnesses, and testify to acts in their
own experience, T suppose they must
be believed, but should want to cross
examine them pretty closely first.
Maggie. will not object, and,
if agreeable to you, we will invite one
OF them, MIR. B, to tea tomorrow, when
you can quiz him all you Like.
Charlie. right; but now let us
have some tea tonight, after which l
will enjoy my Havana (f those terrible
statistics will keep out of my head), In
anticipation of the marvellous reveal
ments of tomorrow.
y
(Charlie, Maggie and MIR. B. seated at
Maggie.-Have your cup filled, Mr..
b.
MIR. B.-No, thank you. Since 1 was
cured of my tobacco habit, I feel less IN
need of stimnlants than formerly, hence
rarely take more than single cup OF
tea.
Charlie. wouldn't serve me at
all. My thirst calls for a greater guam
tity than that. ,
MIR. B.-Perhaps not so much thirst
as the cry of suffering nerves for stimu..
lants under the depressing influence OF
the narcotic in your cigars.
Charlie. whatever it be-, on
other cup, Maggie, please; and now,
Mr.. B., will you have the kindness to
tell us about that wonderful cnre :
MIR. B.-With pleasure. The story ls
very short. ! had been slave to tobac-
co in various forms for many years.
Had striven in vain to break Oft the
habit, taken various substitutes, but
Judging of my condition by the impera-
tiveness of the craving, I was more en-.
thralled than ever. That thought
alarmed me; then, too, I resented the
;,,,l;a1 i,nraochment of nv manhood,