St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1877-09-28
Mr.. Baringer Weighs Himself.

A happier man than Mr.. BaringeI
never whistled himself home. Every
thing had gone well with him through
the day. He had worked off a couple
of misunderstanding new tifty-cent pieces,
that his clerk had taken in, on Il guile
less rustic customer, and then he had
charged them up to the clerk for taking
them in. His lawyer had collected a
bill of Il man Mr.. Baringer thought was
dead; the assessor had made mistake
and only assessed his property at less
than One-third its actual value; and
Mr.. Barringer was pretty confident he
could get out of paving the tax alto
gether, on the ground of erroneous as
sesSment. And then finally, police
man had shot his neighbours dog. Eve
rything conspired to make Mr.. BaringeI
feel happy as the heart of spring. He
whistlcd all the way home, and he
trolIed merry rOundelay in deep
rich wheelbarrOw tone as he skipped up
the stairs he smiled as he entered the
hall, and there the song died away, and
the smile went out of the silent gates OF
the Was, down into the echOless aisles
of the silent Had Been, out unto the
shOreless sea of the distant ''Ain't COM
in back again." and Mr.. Baringer stood
transfixed.
"Well,n he grOwled after moment
of silent reflection and contemplation
eyeing the object that had so suddenly
changed his happy mood, "what next
| wonder? As if there weren't enough
legitimate uses for money to make it &C
faster than any one man can earn it.
somebody must go and buy scales will
it. What under the sun, what in the
name of common sense, can we or dc
we want with grocery scales here
believe in my soul that woman would
buy Il complete set of Fairbanks hay
scales if some peddler would come along
and offer it to her."
He dashed his hat viciOusly on the hal
rack, and climbed moodily on the scale
to weigh himself.
Fancy old scales, too" he said car
peted platform and nickel plated dial
Indicator. IwOnder if I've gained any
thing since last fall"
But as he stepped his full weight up
on the platform, he was surprised to OBJ
serve no change in the dial. The indi-
Gator pointed at "nOthing" as resOlute-
ly as though it meant it.
'Hun !" oXcldlnleu MT. DaTluSeT, Ill
some amazement. And he bounced
himself lightly on the platform, and
watched the Indicator with some ap-
pearance of interest.
But it never took the slightest notice
of him.
Then Mr.. Baringer became excited
He jumped up and down on the plat
form, and surged himself down like d
tidal wave, but the indicator never
smiled, and obstinately indicated the
nothing point at every effort. Then
Mr.. Baringer got frightened and little
mad.
''By thunder "he exclaimed, 81 know
better than that l know l weigh a
pound, anyhow. Here !" he shouted
nervously, ''l'll see what you mean by
this !"
And he ran out and brought in al
armful of bricks and piled them on the
platform, and seated himself on them
but the indicator remained as steady as
though it had been merely painted Oh
the dial plate. Then he went out again
with his eyes staring at each Other
across the top of his nose, and came
staggering in with the axe, the spade
and the lawn-mOwer, and held them OIL
and climbed up and sat down on them
like Marius among the ruins, and glared
at the indicator with a dreadful ex-
preston of cOuntenance and the indi-
Gator only seemed to settle little more