Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1877-05-18

per COIucI ID ~ uldlliCICl VI 9hS PhASAN'
from which the capacity is easily
found. w. E. PARKER, Co. Supt.
Gleanings.
A "drawn'' bet-Queen Elizabeth's
portrait.
Very unsatisfactory sort of bread
The roll of fame. {;
Look out for drunken pigs when ale]
comes in hogsheads.
Why Is the letter IS" like lamb? Be
cause it is the beginning of "sheep."
The book keeper who fell from a col
umn of figures is still in a critical state.
care you not fond of tongue, sir?" <
was always fond of tongue, and | like it
still"
Song of the steamers Amerique and,
RusLand: Son the beach at Long
Branch" etc.
A dog fight is not a noble spectacle, al
though it is undoubtedly display of
ear rage.
A Chicago man wants to commit sui
eide by telegraph, but doesn't know howl
to accomplish it.
"When taken to be we'll shaken" as
the man said when he advertised his rur
away apprentice.
A San Francisco paper says:-"The
smallpox seems TO be dying out in the
city, and so do the patients.
Why is an old mans farm in Texas
like the focus of a sun-glass? Because j,
is the place where the sons raise meat.
Come, get up; you've been in peG
long enough" as the gardener said when
he was pulling radlshes to carry to mar
ket
''My dear" SAID lady to her husband,
"what is cotton duck:" "Oh," said he
nonchalantly, "a kind of canvass back.
What's the difference between the low
part of leg and the late comet? Ones
shin and bone, and the others been and
Shone.
A paper in South Carolina is called the
Nut Shell. 1t is appropriately edited by
a Colonel (kerneD and published by a
Crackman.
Fluff has lost faith in blue glass, be
cause he says the Rusland had cargo OF
it on board and it was no preventative
against stranding.
Curran was once asked by a judge or
the bench, "Do you see anything ridicu
lous III this wig?" Nothing but the
head" was the reply.
Liberal discount to the trade" as th
bruiser said when he chewed off onl
one ear from brother professional will
whom he was fighting
A woman in Oshkosh ground neari
half of shirt through a clothes wringe
before discovering that her baby was u
the skirt. 1t was an awful strain on th
wringer
\ woman having read in poem abou1
4 simeon that swept the plains" is urgl
! ing her husband to get one of them new,
fan gled things tor her to use in the kitcl
en-.
/ 4 green convict wrote from Sing Sly
to his brother; They talk of settin' NJ
to pick oakum here; but got mad, an
told them if they did, I'd tear their oa
UNI all to pieces"
Somebody in Buffalo paper advd(
tises: "Wanted-A young man to taa
care of span of horses of a religiZ
turn of mind" They are doubtle
very steady pair of horses.
Has that jury agreed?" asked Y
judge of a sheriff, whom he met on Il
stairs with bucket in his hand "Y
replied Patrick, 'they have agreed
send out for half a gallon"
A politician who was a great stick
for equs 'ity in all things, perceiyiAg y
crows flying side by side, exclaime7
"Ay, that is just as it should be; l b
to see one crow over another"
Jennie docking in milliners WINDS
Don't you think they are very.lk.ya1
Lizzie (whose Thoughts are on thd(elN
side of the street, especially Il
one with the long, black side-whfs> 'ss
An excellent old deacon, who, havi
won fine turkey at charity rattle, al
didn't like to tell his severe ortb
wife how he came by it, quietly re-,
cd as he handed her the turkey,
Shakers gave it to him."
Landlady Ito boarder who has pas
his cup six times You are very f.
of coffee, Mr. Smith" MrSmith-"
ma'am, it looks as if was, when
willing to swallow SO much water for
sake of getting little"
"Comparisons are odious." The n
jor (rccking Nelly on his knee, tor AT
Mary's sake) 81 suppose this is -
you like, Nelly?' Nelly-Yes, it's Va
terday. mean one with four legs, y
know"
All about the eye.-What part Of the c
is like a rainbow?-The iris. What pS
is like school boy?-The pupil. VIII
part is like the globe?-The ball. WE
part is like the top of chest?-The
What part is like the piece of a wES&
The lash. What part is the summit
the hills-The brow.
A woman being counted out the oti
morning, after debate on the queStis
"Who shall rise and build the nrcs" .
mp and split her husbands wooden leg
to kindling wood, and broiled his steI
with it. 1t made him SO mad that he
hold of her false teeth and bit the d
with them. She cried until she had
of Mysteries, and then tipped out
glass eye, and waxed the glaring eve
the ceiling with quid of chewing GU,
Then he took her wisp of false hair
tied it to stick, and began wk.shii1s~.
the kitchen with it. Then she sta.ss
to obtain divorce, but the Judge dec;s,
that he couldn't grant a divorce IN
there were two parties to the suit.
there were hardly enough left of them
make one.