The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-10-25

et0Od aside. The other officers elected are !:
Clerk, Geo. NJ. Adams, Of Kentucky; Ser
oossssps1 fk Tn Of Esscu ct q fnst
master, James NJ. Stewart, of Virginia; Chap
lain, Rev. DIR. John Poiscl, Of Maryland.
After the drawing Of seats, the House ad-
jOurncd. --
SENSE AND NONSENSE. .sza7
DANE FASHION sticks her hat we'll
back on the head.
| ARE savings banks, too, like pie
crust, made to be broken?
Too MANY church members keen
their religion in the meeting house.
| THE place to get "spots knocked out
OF things is . dye house.-Boston
Transcript.
| THE new Calling gun shoots 1000
rounds minute-fastcr than profess
sional gossip can talk.
| PHILADELPHIA is to have new
weekly paper called the Coming Strug-
gle. The struggle will be to make it
pay.
AN Ohio Granger, on being asked by
the Court if he had any incumbrance
on his farm, replied: g Yes, Your Hon.
or, my wife,"
| We are getting along finely. Only
two defalcations and one heavy forgery
reported IN this mornings papers,
Baltimore Bulletin.
KEEP your feet dry" says The doc
tor. Our rubicund friend says 'tisn't
much of a feat to keep dry. He's dry
all the time.-BostOn Transcript.
"MY opinion is," said philosophi-
cal old lady of much experience and
observation, that any man as dies up
on washing-day does it out of spite"
THE man who owes you ten dollars
may be all right, but it is human ma
ture to have more confidence in him if
you have his watch and chain.-N. o.
Rcayune.
HUsBAND-"T That beastly dog! I
can't enter the room without his biting
my legs" Wife, pcnsivcly.-'' Poor lit
tie creature; he is so intelligent. -
French Paper.
SHE sat at the piano, singing, "Dar-
ling, Kiss My Eyelils Down" There
was just down enough ON his moustache
to do it, he thought, rs he stood tinid-
~ by, turning music.
| WE have no report this morning of
this failure of a savings bank in Chi
cago. Evidently the telegraph lines
running into that city have been pros
trated by storm. -NorristoWn Herald.
THE sluggard may sometimes, per-
haps, 60 to the ant with profit; but we
have frequently known propcrty-owners
to go to tenants and come away no
better off then when they went.-Paiu-
fell IN. j. Times.
AT public contest lately held the
following was the prize conundrum:
What is the difference between tenant
and the son of widow? The tenant
has to pay rents; but the son of widow
has not two parents.
A MAN whose knowledge is based ON
actual experience says-and it is worthy
of trial-that when calling on our
sweethearts we should carry affection
in our hearts, perfection in our man.
ners and CONNECTION in our pockets.
VANDERBILT has raised his employees
wages, and the railway hands DOM get
up and shout and spree around the way
they did when wages were lowered. 1t
is easier to make II man express his
madness than his gladncss. Chicago
Tribune.
AT recent sale of short-horn cows,
in England, one animal brought $22,-
600. That is a tremendous price, but
it has its compensations. To be kicked
in the stomach by a cow worth S22, 1000
must be accompanied by a variety of
enrolling sensations. Not every man
can afford it.-DanJury News.
He had proposed to her, and now,
with fear and trembling, waited for her
answer. "Only one word,' he said,
IF but to keep alive the fires of hope
within my BOSOM" She looked at him
tenderly, nay, lovingly, and her lips
moved in accents that went to the depth
of his soul. She had asked him how
much he earned a week.
He was up to see his girl on Sunday
night. He is a nice young man, care
full in his ways, and with his best eye
wide open to the main chance. In the
course of the conversation he observed
cheerfully, "Timcs are looking better,
Amelia. was reading in the paper
last night that stocks are firmer. and
the crops were never more abundant.
I shouldn't be surprised if the old pros
pcrity came back to us this winter"
Il hope so," said she drcamily, ''for
I'm getting about tired of crunching
on rOck-candy." The young man
squirm DanJary Ncacs. '''
A COUPLE were married in Georgia
by a Justice of the Peace. Unto the
man he said: Sir, will you have the
beloved woman you hold by the right
hand, in the name of the State of Geor-
gia, Cobb County, and the new Consti-
tuition, whether it be adopted or not, to
be your lawful welded wife?'' And to
the woman he said: MADAM, will you
take this man to be your lawful hus-
band under the Constitution of the
United States and the Constitution of
the State of Georgia, no matter who
is Prcsident?''
"YOU cannot, oh day star of my
life," he plead, throwing himself at her
feet, "yOu cannot refuse the rich ex-
haustlcss mine of love 1 pour out at
your feet, you cannot turn away from
the rare treasures of my hearts devo-
ton that cast before you, you cannot
turn away from all this lavish wealth
/ VI uctIFt NllU IdnU tustC Is yOuIS W tsshc,
and say me nay - She couldn't and
she didn't; it sounded too wealthy.
That was nearly four years ago. Day
before yesterday he gave her 1913 to
run the house a week, and when she
said she would have to have new pair
of shoes he raised the appropriation to
even dollars, and grumb1ed about
woman's extravaganza till he was out
of hearing. Oh, woman, woman, thou
of the tender heart and trustful soul, if
you don't scalp a man raw every time
you get chance, you are q little idiot,