Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1877-12-05
camneId's Revenge.

An amusing little domestic episode
occurred at Mr. CaInAsld's the other
evening. Mr. csmhsld occasionally re-
turns homo from the postofiics feeling
like another man. In other words he
sometimes takes . glass tso much and
gees homo to his wifo with great deal
Of unnatural and entirely suPsriuous
amiability.
Such was his condition when no came
home last Saturday night. carrying in
his pocket . bottle ot number one
brandy, with which to "bracs up" nsIt
day. He set II on the panty shslf where
he could find Ii II anything should hap
pen during the night. and retired in
disorder. wondering II he was really so
bssotted a. his wife declared him to be.
and wondering also II she would 10 to
her mothers as shs said she would. and
whether abe would take the children
with her.
Mrs. Csmfsld went to bed about ten
o'clock, and was mentally sIecrating her
snoring husband. when II occurred to
her that she had forgotten to take her
usual half.tumblsrful OF root-bittsrs:
20 she rose and proceeded quietly to
the pantry without waking her hus-
band. A moment later she came charg-
ing into the bedroom. eiclaimiug:
"Camisld! Get up quiskl I've swal-
lowed somsthing! Run for the doctor
TN burning up with hall q glass of
some kiud Of poisoni Get soms water
aud put me outr'
"Confound her." observed Camfield.
beginning TO cemprshsnd. "shs's got
hold Of my brandy instead OF her msdi.
rins. Shouldn't wonder II th.r'd be
some fun. Shouldn't wonder u she'd
be . sashain' round hers NJ happy az a
yellow cat in . creamery in about hvs
minutes or so.''
Camnsld slowly rose. and was pro-
cesding to dress himself. when his wife.
who seemed to have entirely recovered
from her fright. suddenly remarked
"whoopr' with great sarnsstness and
force. and then sat down ON the bed,
and laughed till tbs tears ran down her
face.
"Oh. ii IL terrible-,errible." said
Mr.. Csmfeld. "to see such sight ~
this. oh. Susan Camfisld. when mar
'ried you I little dreamed should live
TO SEQ you in your present condition.
oh. dear" and Mr.. Camheld sighed
deeply. and tried to look sad and missr.
able, bat made had failure OF il. Pres-
entity his wife advanced toward him
with countsnsncs wrsathed with smiles
and said:
"Glory. glory. hallslujah! 'Smattsr
with ysu this dne EVENING""
"Ah. me. what'll become Of the chill
drsn1" exclaimed Mr.. Camhsld.
But his wife didn't seem to care much
about the children jsst then. a. she had
the clock in her lap trying to wind II up
with q button-hook. (She had often
called Mr.. Csmfsld an old fool for try
Ing TO wind II with his jaek.knifs.)
30. I can't endure thisr' exclaimed
the poor man. wringing his hands and
looking reproaehfully at bis wife. "lts
enough to drive me mad to live with
such a--shsll / say \ womanl Iwant
you to understand that my mothers
roof is better than yours. and III 20
there. that's what I will -
THE very words his wife had address
sd 10 him few hours bsfors.)
The next morning Mr. Camfeld re-
marked TO his wife. with severe sarcasm.
that he hoped she would be able to eat
. little toast. and added. with q counter.
felt little sob. that he supposed the
children would be having . debauch
ns1t. II is very calm there now
Danbury Nsrs.