The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1877-02-08
WHOLE NO. 1547.
MiscellaneouG

A&a @&&h hN@NN4 w. @tN""*
We've got 10 economies. or this ooun-
try Il ruined" !" Was the aoliloQuy OF De-
troit husband a. he kindled the Gre with
his wiics hustle.
Next 10 that repose, which - the
blessed privilege Of The man who lies siz
feet under ground In country grave
yard, 10 the repose enjoyed By gilt
edged Bible in aChiesgo newspaper once.
Eternity. past. and future flashed be-
fore my eyes" he said. sand ! saw where
the crack Of doom began and ended"
This was bis experiences the frat time q
base ball struck him In the stomach.
Alfred Tennyson wears bis hair long
and natural The first time he ever saw
a comb. somebody sent him one for .
Christmas present, and he thought IA was
something 70 scratch his back with.
Two acquAintAnces meeting on wet
day, ono greeted the other with; Beau
tiful rain. thisl Fetching thlngn out Of
the ground" Second friend (disconso-
lately( Hope not, sir; hope not Got
two wives there. sirl"
Hang itl-Brown meeting Jonas. his
friend, and seeing him look very misera-
BILE. said "Hullo. old man, why you've q
face just 90 for funoralf' 80 ought
10 have" replied Jones, "conaidoring I've
just had an execution in my house"
In n column OF receipts In an agricul.
tural paper We End one Tor making BEL
lie Cake" Several aliccs Of cucumber
aud a glass Of ice water will make q nice
"stomrch-aohe. but the ingredients Of
the Belle Cake" are entirely different
Good ear-muHs for 81 Louis man
may be made by sewing up the lower
ends Of the pantaloon legs. and then
pulling the garment on over the ears In
the usual manner The only trouble
with the supply IL. there are very few
men with legs eleven feet long.
DO you reside In this oityY asksd q
masked Tan Of a masked lady Al I..as-
querade party the other evening lie
felt sick when she said 10 him In . low
voice: "Don't be fool. John. ! know
you by that wart on your thumb" 10
was bis wife.
A Milwaukee editor writes In this mel
ancholy strain; I'VE didn't want our
wife TO 20 10 the auction. and 30 We hid
her shoes TO keep her Al home; having
occasion 10 20 out an hour nfterwnrd. We
looked for our boots. but they weren't
there neither was our wife. IA Isn't
any use.
Beecher rejoicca that when the moral
principle cannot be reached through the
child's head there IL another part
through which an impression can be
made, and he seems to think the latter
=. 4. aN Al
cellent way 10 get al H. And probably
his father thought 20. too.
A man can't throw water on hia front
stoop this freezing weather without CIV.
ing riao 10 the suspicion that he expects
visit from bis mothor.in-law or a poor
relation. II tho divine command we're.
BE 20 clothed In charity" most Of us
would have 10 50 naked or owe the tailor.
The sound Of respectable citizens slip
ping and falling down on Division street
sidewalk yesterday was 20 regular and
continuous all day long that u gave riso
20 q rumor that band Of bass drums va
in town giving free concert for the ben
eft Of the deaf and dumb asylum-
The London Saturday Review says that
girls are BY nature more inclined 70 an.
truthfulncas than boys." This assertion
may be true a. far as England Il con-
ccrned. but In this country Ia fAlaiiT 10
girls become editors Of Western ncwspa'
pers."
There are moments when even the ten
der language Of sympathy Il mockery 20
the sorrow stricken heart What conso-
lAtion IA Il 10 q man who has slipped on
the icy sidewalk and broken through
cellar graiing. 10 be told By Christian
men on the other side Of the street. 10
fare up and hit II harder NEXT time"
Scene from the sunday school room
Teaoher-"Now. who was the oldest
man mentioned In the scrinturesf
Young seholar-'I dunno. Who was
the cover
Teaoher-"Uhy. Msthuselah. he was
over nine hundred years old"
seholAF-"Golly, what q LOT Of Centsn-
NAL shows he must have seen"
Tae editors Of the Chicago Tribune,
Joseph Mediil and Governor Bross, are
thus served up by lie local contemporary.
the Times: said Josef Mediddie 70
Brosa. the middle. 4 would fAin frya
pancake, 70 grease me the griddie.' Said
Bross. the middle. 10 Josef Mediddie. 4
amt got no itchin' 10 work In the kitch-
in So Josef Mediddle had 10 grease
his own griddle. for Bross. the middle.
had nary an itchin' 10 work In the kitch-
en- and play second fiddle"
Two Irishmen we're disputing on the
streets yesterday a. 10 which Of the prcs-
idential candidates was elected. One Of
them expressed his firm. conviction that
Tilden had been elected. and covered
himself and his countrymen with glory
for having been the direct means Of
bringing about this result What
makes 70 say that Iriahmen elected Til
den 2 asked the other "Faithr said
he. "didn't Oregon 90 5000 miles 70
vote for Tilden. and isn't he an Irish
mann
In a case that came Up before the Re-
corder yesterday morning. his honor
asked the prisoner why he did not make
the affidavit against the other party for
abusive and insulting language. whom be
was called = knock-kneed. cAtnAmed.
lanternjawed. black son Of a sea cook.
The reply was; You see. boss. I never
allows my temper 10 get de beat Of me.
aud Tse not got 20 low down yet a. 10 40
70 law wild = man. II niggah insults
me. and / can't get my fumb In bis eye.
Jess chaws his ear OF. and dats what
did In dis ease-[S San Antonio Herald.
There is little boy In South Norwaik
who has watched with envious eyes bis
comrades slide down hill. while he. hAv.
ing no sled. was compelled 70 take up
with an old chair or q barrel stAve. His
foster-mother finally told him 10 pray Tor