Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1877-11-03
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.

The horse for hard times-Pay, sir.
As stern commander, Howard
was a success.
The blarney stone is the same as
the sham rock.
Chief Joseph run from Howard for
miles and Miles.
Some musicians put on more airs
than they can play.
The haze policy has been squelched
at the Naval academy.
Always put off till tomorrow what
you cannot pay to-day.
Books most influenced by hard
times are pocket books.
The best bindite for a borrowed
book is homeward bound.
The money and hair of fool are
soon parted in the middle.
Good little bootblacks ARE shining
examples of what boys can do.
What letters are the most like
Roman emperor The Cs are.
The tune which proved fatal to the
old cow was written in beef fiat.
A standing engagrment--Popping
the question over the front gate.
The smallest of Mars moons is
bigger than Senator David Davis.
Coloucl Susan B. Anthony, IA IT,
er is 81 The CoIoncPs O. Is -.
Motto for.-law yess- Where iltare,
is will there is a waG' q, 3ge-S =.
An express train is faster theu
day laborer, but it can't stop as sud-
den.
A coroner is an officer who discov
ers that person killed or drowned
is dead.
Duncan isn't going to the dog
show. His bark is on the sea.-Dsily
Exchange.
The Patent Office wouldn't have
burned, perhaps, il the repnIts hadn't
been so dry.
Some rogues think it better TO turn
States evidence than to let the States
evidence turn them.
The rules for carving turkey are
printed in the books, but the Gar
didn't know where to begin.
every failure is a step to success.
This will explain why the oftener
some men fail the richer they are.
A woman at eighteen wants five
trunks when she travels. At fifty she
can get along with bottle of cold
tea.
To see pretty girl putting on
postage stamp makes fellow wish
he was the Father Of his country or
Ben Franklin.
The House of Representatives has
a new carpet of green velvet Coun-
try members will think themselves
on their native heath.
Gen. Mcclellan might have selected
a bigger State than New Jersey to be
Governor of; but that State seemed
most like home to him.
Fitzsimmons hopes the "model
husband" his wife has talked so much
about was burned with the other
models in the Patent Office.
Times don't grow much better, and |
families which long ago stopped the
local paper are now thinking seri-
ously of selling one of the dogs.
Mrs. Shoddy puckered up her
mouth genteelly and told a gentleman
friend that one of her lovely daugh-
tiers was "blunet' and the other a
Sbronze.'
What is the difference between a
man going to Plymouth church and
one going to ask a lady n favor9 One
is going to see Beecher and the other
is going to beseech her.
"Gentemen, l introduce to you my
friend, who is not as stupid as he APP |
pears TO be-" Introduced friend
NThat's precisely the difference be-
tween my friend and myself"
An inquiring man put his hand
into a horses mouth to see how many
teeth he had. The horse closed his
teeth to see how many fingers the
man had The curiosity of each was
fully satisfied.
A Frenchman soliciting relief said
MADAME, never beg but dat | have
Won wife wild several small family
dat is growing large, aud nossing to
make der bread out Of but de per
spiration on my brow"