The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1877-01-12
HUwOROUs.

HUMOROUs.
When man caIls TO collect bill,
the Chipaman says, II no havec, how
CAM
A man being asked IL he were born
IN wc,llock. answered, mo, I was
boin in 7eras.7
A Frenchman, intending to comp,i-
mcnt o young lady by calling her
gentle lamb, said, "She h one mutton
as Is SMALL
"Dar now" ,aid the negro preach
er, as the deacon left the meeting in a
pct. "Dar now. dat's just what de
Bible says, "'De wicked run when
nobody's arter him."
II was late yesterday afternoon,
when they met. Sail Smith, who
had cold in his head, Hello, Brown;
shabby New Year" Said Brown;
"Sh'ame to you Boston Adver-
tiser.
Old lady (to heir neice:) ''Gocd grn
cious, Matilda, but its coil. My teeth
are actually chattering." Loving
niece: "Well, don't let 'em chatter
too much, or they may tell where you
bought EN-"
The champion scholar has turned
up. Being asked to signs his initials to
a document. he wanted to know "what
nisbuls we're" "Why, your name
being George Gould, you want two
Gs." "Oh, see," he said, and wrote
80 Geeze."
Young Lady.-Bub. won't you give
me your baby sisterf | love little ba
bies." Young hopefd.-"No. tant.'
Young lady.-"Why won't you give
the baby to me?' Hopeful Gndig-
nantly. )-"Fy, she'd tarve to death;
your dress opens behine.'
A lady short time back presented
a telegram at London post.office.
The message was inclosed in an envel-
ope. On receiving it, the official at
once proceeded to open it. what
are you about?" exclaimed the lady.
The clerk explained that he could not
send message without first s,eing it.
Then, observed the lady. angrily.
'1Do you suppose I'm going to let you
read my private affair? won't send
it at ALI" And forthwith he Aounc-
ed out Of the Office in disgust.
lie was only an inquisiiive boy, and
he said "NIa, will all the heathens
turn up when it comes resurrection
times?" "Ies, my son." "And them
missionaries; will those turn up,"
Certainly, my son." "Well, when
them cannibal heathen, what's been
feedin' on missionaries get resurrected.
and them missionar es what's been eat
comes round and wants to get resur-
rected, things is going to be worse mix
ed than the Presidential election, hey,
MAJ" at is time you were to bed,
my SON.
\ man on Ninth Street, whose ap-
petite fer sleeping is improved by a
glass of ale before retiring, got his ale
bottle out the other night, and began
to look for the coikscrew. lie looked
on the mantle piece. on the stand, in
the drawer, all over the dining room,
in the kitchen, up stairs, down in the
cellar, in the bath room and on the
front steps. After consuming an hour
in hunting, he concluded to open the
bottle with his knife. lie dug half
the cork out, broke his knife blade,
and then punched the balance of the
cork down the bottle with his finger,
and his finger went in below the first
Joint, and he couldn't get it out. lie
went around the room with the bcttle
hanging to his hand, and the ale squirt
ing up in his sleeve. Finally all the
ale gave out, and he vas preparing to
90 to bed with the bottle on his finger,
when the bottle broke and he was re.
leased. lie said his prayers and went
ts bed, and in the morning found the
corkscrew in his pocket. lie never
7 swore To exceed one hundred times
during the whole performance.-[ La
7 Crosse Sun.
FRozES Brrs FoR iioRsEs' MoUTns.
Let any one who has the care OF a
horse these cold, frosty mornings. de
liberately grasp in his hand piece ol
iron indeed, let him touch to il the iii
% his tongue, and then let him thrust
the bit into the mouth Of his hors,
il he has the heart to DO il. The hors,
, IL nm animal of neryolls orpauizaiion