The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-11-29
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

er clog your footsteps nor cling to your
coat-tails.
The new winter bonnet will enable a
woman to 60 bareheaded at an expense
of from SIS to $25.
NINETY-NINE families are occupying
q tenement house in New York, and the
house is not large one.
"WHAT is money!" asks the Batavia
Times. Money is the missing link be-
tween man and the tailor. Sen.
tinel.
PUrs and calls have been declared
illegal in ChicagO-probably because
when the depositor calls, the bank CASH
Ter puts.-Graphic.
THE Galveston News says the work
of clearing titles to the stolen lands of
the Kansas-Texas ring will produce
five thousand lawsuits.
The Art of British
tourist Ito fellow-passenger in mid
channeD: "Going across, l suppose.
Fellow-passenger: "Yaas. Are you?"
WHENEVER the word "caucus'' is
used in the London Times it is carefully
enclosed in quotation marks. It is not
yet recognized as an " English word.
INSECTS are worshiped in the in
terror of Africa" says an exchange.
Here in America people worship in
sects, too.-N.- y. Commercial Atlver-
tiSer.
AN enterprising Salt Lake Mormon
is said to be fully occupying his time in
counting Brigham Young's widow. He
calls upon each one of her an evening
in every two months.
SHAKESPEARE says, or words to that
effect, ''Thrice armed is he who hath
his quarrel just ''And four times he
who gets his blow in fust," adds the
Breakfast Table, of Cincinnati.
A TEACHER with class of youngsters
at their lessons, came on to the word
"ancestors." He asked for the mean
ing of it and was answered, by a prom
Using scholar, The people who live in
Ancestorshire, sir.'
A WOMAN who has tried the expert
ment says: "When man finds place
that is pleasanter to him than his own
home his wife should put two extra
Jumps of sugar in his coffee and double
the quantity of sunshine in the front
ROOM"
"WHo is your warmest friend?''
asked the teacher. "My mother"
yelled one of the boys. "Your moth
er?'' Eyes, she warns me every
day!' The teacher has given up her
missionary work.-CAicago Evening
Journal.
THIS is an off season for the small
boy. He can't eat green fruit and he
can't fall through an ice-hole; SO he
hangs round the parlor and tells his
sisters young man how much of Anna
Maria's chiefest glory is hair and how
much is jute-switch.-PucE.
WHEN you see man stumbling along
the streets, these days, coughing, sneez-
ing and rubbing his weeping eyes, you
may know that Just before he left home
his wife took out her furs and shook the
of them. -Burlis gton Ha,ck-Eye.
A CHICAGO man visited this city, the
other day, for the first time in twenty
years. YES" he said, complacently,
81 haven't been idle all this time. Eve
laid away a hundred thousand or so,
my boy" "So?' said my boy. ~
congratulate you, sir. When did you
default?' Democrat.
THERE is a precocious six-year-old
boy who is wonderful on spelling and
definition. The other day his teacher
asked him to spell matrimony."
"M-a-t-r-i-m-o-n-y," said the young
ster, promptly. "Now define it, said
the teacher. "Well," replied the boy,
81 don't exactly know what it means,
but I know mothers got enough of it. 5"
OLD Mr.. MER1DEN had been married
forty-threc years when his wife died,
last week. He didn't appear to miss
her very much until bed time, when he
sat down and stuck out his foot for
somebody to come and pull off his boot.
And then, when his son-in-law coldly
handed him the boot-jack, the full
weight of the irreparable loss he had
sustained broke upon the old man and
he gave way to food Of tears. AS for
the boot-jack, it had been so long since
he had seen one, he didn't know how
to use it.-Burlington Havk-Eye.
The City of New York is agitated
about church bells. These are regard
ed as nuisance, and considerable
commotion, pro and con, is the conse-
quence. In speaking of the opposition
to their abolition correspondent of
the New York Evening Post says that
in the olden time churches used to put
a chain across the street to prevent
traffic during services. 81 well re-
MEMBER" adds the writer, "when q
boy, many years ago, seeing these OBJ
structions on Broadway, Wall street
and Garden street-now Exchange
Place.-DetroH Free Press.
SOME medical students in one of the
colleges of Cincinnati, dissecting fe-
male subject few days ago, found
what was called in doctors parlance a
"corset liver.'' When tight-lacing
has been practiced through several
years, permanent dent or hollow is
produced in the liver, which may be
seen very plainly after the woman is
dead, and her liver dissected out. This
kind of liver occurs SO frequently in
women that physicians have given it
the name of "corset liver" In the
subject mentioned the hollow in the liv-
err was large enough for the wrist of q
grown man to be laid in it.
The Killed in the Recent Chicago Fire.