River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-02-01

make her Mrs. nut somehow she
didn't take to me quite as kindly as
could have wished. Now, the other
morning when took up the Times, al
most the first thing l caught sight of
was the smash of the Wheal Marina.
and the similarity of name gave me
quite a turn, for just at the first mo-
ment | thought il was the Wheal Mary
Ann. And then the thought struck me.
If it only had been my lady. you'd
have been glad enough to say Eyes
to Samuel Slythorpe.' And then |
thought I'd try it. Ii was merely a
little innocent practical joke-a ruse
d amour, sir a mere ruSe d amour.
And Mr.. Slythorpe smiled.
''You atrOciOuS Scoundrel!
There was a sudden blow, heavy
crash, and Mr.. Samuel Slythorpe meas
ured his length on the floor. The
clerk outside, hearing the downfall,
popped his head into the room, but
seeing the state of things discreetly re-
tired again, remaTking:
"Beg pardon; thought you rang,
SIR"
Meanwhile Mai. Howard, having
k nOcked Slythorpe down, proceeded to
knock him up again and with his own
dandy cane, which stood by the side
of the fireplace, gave him one of the
most tremendous thrashings ever re-
corded in the pages of history.
And with no pomp or ceremony, no
breakfast, no speeches, no wedding
guests, with only good Mrs. Murga-
troyd for bridesmaid, the two true
lovers were made one. And six months
afterward, in the court of queens
bench, the great assault case of Sly
thorpe VS.. Howard was tried, when the
jury, in awarding the farthing by way
of damages, expressed their unanimous
regret that there wasn't a smaller coin.
Commodore vanderbilt's Gratitude fcr Kind
ness Done More than Half a Centur' Ago.
From thu Albany Express.
A FEW years ago,a young man living
on Green Island, and an employee of the
New York Central Railroad, had the
misfortune to get his foot in the ''track
frog and before he could extricate
himself one.leg was crushed and the
other badly injured. Having relatives
among the Shakers of Watervliet, we
did everything in our power to make
him comfortable, closing our direct
endeavors for him by building him a
house, &c. AS the young man would
need leg / determined upon soliciting
from the railroad sufficient amount
to procure it. Realizing the inability
to secure damages for the accident,
| started for the COmmodore's resi-
dence in New York, stopping at AL
bany to get letters of introduction
from Col. W. S. Church. Making my
wishes known, the Colonel invited me
to dinner of which himself and Horace
F. Clark were about to partake.
At dinner / made known my bust
ness and while the genial Colonel
encouraged me, Clark told me it was
no use, as Vanderbilt would not look
into it at all, and my errand would be
futile and foolish. But | was deter
mined to see the best representative
of American enterprise, and with the
letter of Col. Church, at the bottom
of which Clark wrote the words, Il
tell him it will do him no good to see
you III. T. c." | was passed on
to New York. | went directly to his
private office, at which | met another
SOn-in-law, who was also waiting to
see him, and who | enlisted in behalf
of a personal introduction. Soon the
magnate appeared, and receiving me.
| a Shaker, never could he have been more
genial. Diminishing the son-in-law we
were alone. | presented my creden.
tials, and he remarked: ''Church did
right Horace is an; something
with long ears, not mule After eX
| planning how such cases should proper
| ly be petitioned, he told me that the
s'Board of Directors won't do anything
about it for year, and closed by
saying ''I'll get it y and ordered the
which he handed me.
| arose to depart, when he detained
me to lunch. and there he told me OF
his first visit to the Shakers, about
the year 1872. He brought slooI
load of melons to Albany, and after
despatching peddlers south and east,
started himself with one horse and
wagon with melons to Schenectady
Arriving at the Shakers, he fed his
horse, and took dinner himself. After
dinner he sold to our people large
number of melons, and the old mali
eyes twinkled exceedingly when he
said: | never saw such people they
made me ashamed they paid me well
for my melons, but would not let me
pay for my dinner nor horse feed |!
have never forgotten it, and hoped
some day to get even with them
After procuring the artificial limb
which cost $50, | wrote to the Com
modore, asking what disposition tC
make of the rest. The answer still
manifested a disposition of getting
even by replying: 1t is at your dis
position the interest for two dinner:
would ere this have amounted to hat
saying nothing about the princi al
G. A. Lows.
SHAKERS, y. Y
| m. 3 mi