The Republican journal., 1877-03-08
Observations Of Men and Things.
BY OUR GEORGE.

| take it. 1t is like all old muSket it generally
hurts the one who fires it, more than it does the
one fired at Nevertheless advice is plenty and
grows wild in all parts of the world where the
| human tongue is in active operation. Advice
| is always given, that being the only way il can
| be disposed of; it cannot be sold for enough to
pay the expense of the sale. 1t is disease that
is not contagious; no matter how much there is
in the air, people seldom take it, however much
they may be exposed to it, for it seems as though
the whole community had been vaccinated for
it. 1t person were TO live on advice, he would
die i'll less than nine days, provided that the
right advice was given at the right time
The safest way TO give advice is to keep ii to
yourself. If you feel that you must give it. put
| 1t In your will and donate large sum of money
with IT, Advice given in this way is generally
| receipted for. The only objection to this plan
is that the person giving the advice must die
before the dose can be administered; but the
world is full OF people who would willingly
overlook this slight obstacle for the pleasure of
freeing their minds.
| There are several kinds of advice; there is
| the muscular variety, and il the kind that is
generally taken without comments. Young
man for instance, who had been waiting on a
| lady. called at her fathers house one evening
| and the old gentleman came to the door. Not
! word passed between them, but the young man
| felt himself suddenly and powerfully propelled
| through the air, and down over the steps. by
| some unseen but not unfel force and he scraped
| himself up, and mfandered hOmeWartl, feeling
az if he had lent himself for paving maui, and
| q
| the hidden receeses of his clothing, the sole Of
| thick boot, he interpreted il to be Il piece OF al
| vice from the old man, not to come there again,
and he accordingly shifted the seat Of his alice
tions TO some lady, whose father did not us,.
such strong language with his feet.
| The first bit of verbal advice on record, was
| that given to Adam i'll the garden of Eden. II
was the same advice that every mother has
gwen her boy, not 10 eat green apples, and il
was regarded by Adam about as the boy re-
CARDS his mothers. The first chance Adam got,
Ire bit into q few. 10 see if the seeds were black
and the apples ripe. He did not think it much
of a sin 10 suck the nice Of a few, il he didn't
| swallow the apples, and The result is that we
| are taxed to-day for his recklesSnesS. All the
consolation we can get out of the matter, is in
| believing that Adam tumbled ont of the tree
and we have good reason for believing this, il
| that little fruit speculation OF his is always
mentioned as Adams fall.
! | once heard 4 druggist advise a small boy not
| to smell of the contents Of Il certain Jug and |
| tarried in that vicinity for a time to see if the
| boy would take the advice. Mixed up in mans
| composition, is an ingredient termed curiosity.
/
| thing that You do not know. 1t is the ''un-
| raveling Of the mysterious" As the fellow said
| when he pulled part of sken of yarn out of
| plate of hash. This boy had lump of crude
| curiosity in him as large as an unabridged die
| tionary, and all the charm of life to him seemed
| to be q desire TO get his nose over the mouth Of
| that Jug. He walked around it in circle, each
! time drawing nearer to the Jug, till he was in
| close communion with it. 1t was large six
| gallon jug, and he was small five gallon boy.
| He cast a furtive glance at the proprietor,
| whose eye did not seem at that instant to be in
the direction of the jug, and graSpng the cork
firmly, he gave it pull, and out it came. Time
with him was precious, and he did not waste
| any. STOPPING over quickly, he took smell as
deep a. post hole. He could not have taken
in any more unless his nose had been larger
Simultaneous with the smell, two little hands
went up to his face, and one little boy demons
| strated the attraction of grayiation, by sitting
down on the floor, in a manner that would have
brought blush of pride to the face of Isaac
| Newton. lie sat down so energetically, that it
| unbuttoned his jacket, and shifted the parting
| in his hair to the opposite side Of his head. The
| next breath he drew could not have given him
more satisfaction, had it been the leading prize
in Il lottery, and he went out into the fresh air,
his nose feeling As big as Il watermelon, and as
hot as flat-iron. ! had Just curiosity enough
to go along and read the label on the Jug. 1t
looked as familiar to me As dunnng letter,
| and AS read the words, "Spr. OF Ammonia" |
| EneW why the boy sat down so suddenly. He
did not take the druggist advice, by Jug full.
Advice an example should 60 together, like
tough steak and sharp knife. A man may
give advice that will weigh out sixteen ounces
to the pound, while his example will not weigh
out more than eleven. An Old gentleman
CHANGED IL drop into har-room lust ~ a
| Young chap was about to take look at the ga
let through the bottom OF 4 tilmbler The old
man saw him, and in 4 voice husky with emo
ton and eyes moist with tears, he said -
Hl Dung man, beware don touch that glass ;,
don't pollute Your lips with that accursei stun
| I:amenher YOUR poor mother, or il you ne1 eT
! hal Il mother, remember Your grandmother
| am old, YOU are young; take AN old mans
advice and dou't drink that poison Here.
give it to ME !" and taking the glass from the
ronscience-stricken boy did the old man throw
tJ,o s.,t, a..
of it. He slowly raised The glass to his lips, It
smile PLAYED over his wrnkrd face, ana rs the
last drop gnrgIed down his throat he sat down
the glass remarkng--' \ Dung man, remember
this; remember how the Ola man saved volt
At the risk of his own lit-.'
Advice is rs easy to give As slippery elm, AMI
rs har'i 10 take AS castor oil. Advice is like \
bee, full Of sweetness and honey, but generally
carries 4 sting with it, had rather saw wood
with a dull saw than make 4 business of giving
advice. If | We're so placed that felt called
upon to tell lady friend that her intended hli~-
band We're thief a gambler, ana to advise
her to have no more TO do with him, | should
want to lock the door on the outside put the
key in my pocket, tell her the news through the
keyhoe and then run. Advice does not cement
friendship. always regarded the saying Of
whispering advice in the ear of 4 friend as a
fable. | never want to get near enough to a
friend TO whisper advice to him. If must give
it, | prefer to stand Off and blow it 1T him
through speaking trumpet.
never knew of but one person who never
had any advice given him, and he was deaf,
dumb and blind During my brief and bril-
liant career | have had advice enough be-
qneatheu to me to make an Ulster that would
cover Mount Washington; and | trust that
any of my friends who may me stumbling
will throw chunk of advice under me to
break my fall little.
Years ago, before the mania for collecting
postage stamps was in vogue, conceived the
idea of getting up collection of advice, and |
have been very persistent in making my coec-
tons. l have each piece marked with q little