The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1877-12-08
Another Man Tries the Earsyr Bns,r
cincinnati Breakfast Tablet

Cincinnati Breakfast Tablet
Many of our business men have, no
doubt, missed for some time the Eighty
old nomad who was wont TO call upon
them daily with stock of pencils, which
he warranted to write with the ease and
beauty of Homer's goose-quill. Yes, he
has been away for short time, but is
back again now, and as full of CAB as
ever. He told us all about it the other
day; said the close confinement TO bust
ness in the city was most too much for
his constitution, and he had taken a
little vacation and gone into the coun-
try for rest and pure air. That's the
story he told at first, but that tongue of
his runs like an |. G. & l.. express, and
before he could lock his jaws and put
on the brakes it got on down grade
and gave him away the worst kind,
about how he had been cup the road !"
for thirty days on account of remonstra-
ting with his old woman with fire
shovel. He said their hearts were like
a double-yolked egg in everything save
one. Their religious views were in per-
feet consonance, and they could drink
beer from the same glass without a
ripple of unpleasantness. In political
opinion they were unanimous; never
had bit of trouble about the Southern
policy, and on the subject of finance
they travelled the same road, like two
steers in a yoke. He took his own
money and did what he pleased with it,
after meeting his assessment for house
hold expenses, while she did likewise
with her own revenue, for she looked
daily into the washtub, while he dissem-
mated his pencils, and consequently had
an Independent income of her own
that is, il was independent of his. Her
taste in dress never offended him, and
he wore whatever old clothes came to
his mill from benevolent sources, and
she never bothered her head about it.
Their temperaments appeared to be com
patible, and one never got on drunk
alone. They always made two-handed
game of it, and enjoyed their headaches
in company the next morning. There
didn't seem to be any particular out
cropping of selfishness on the part of
either. One was never decorated with
black eye without the other en-
joying the same favor, and if one was
sick and too weak to drink from the
Jug, the other would always see that the
whisky found transportation to the lips
by way of teaspoon.
Yet in spite of all this harmony in
the more important phases of domestic
affairs it was lamentably apparent that
the insidious caterpillar of contention
in one insignificant minor matter, was
slowly but surely poisoning the blossoms
of their marital felicity and threaten
ing the very life of their tree of happi-
ness. They could go hand in hand to a
certain point, but the moment they APP
preached that, division broke their hold
and free fight walked right in.
He had his views of how fire should
be started, and so had she. His father
had struck for his fire in the revolution
and why shouldn't he do it right at
home, where the fuss commenced. He
had reasoned with her time and again,
with fragments of box-lids, or whatever
else came handy, but she was hard
woman to convince. On that point she
was stubborn to distraction, and all the
argument he could get hold of and throw
at her couldn't make her come over and
look at it from his standpoint. 1t might
bruise her up good deal, but it couldn't
make her loosen her grip on her old
prejudices, or his own hair. AS for him,
he was man who arrived at conclusions
slowly, but when he got there he had
come to stay, and no woman could drive
him away, if it wrecked the usefulness
of every dish and cooking utensil in the
house. That's what he understood by
the rights of citizenship, and he pro-
posed to have 'em and hold 'em. His
adherence to convictions had cost him
thirty days in the Work-house, but he
didn't care a car-ticket. If Judge Will
son could derive any satisfaction from
immuring in a martyrs cell man who
would die at the feet of cook-stove
before he'd yield up his right to get up
steam in his own way, he was welcome
to it.