The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-07-13

Odds and Ends.
The book keeper who fell from q
column of figures is still in criti-
cal state.
Another hsiress has been discov-
cred in st. Louis. She works over
the butter in an Olive street boa rd-
ing house.
A WORKOUT parent has named
his first baby Macbeth, because he
has murdered sleep."
A man and his son in Charleston,
Mass, have married sisters, the
father taking the younger.
A man at Pawlet, Vermont, re-
Gently lost fourteen COWS, which
broke into his potato field and eat
vines that had been Amounted with
kerosene to keep off bugs.
A woman in Oshkosh ground
nearly half shirt through q clothes
wringer before she discovered her
baby was in the shirt. It was an
awful strain on the wringer.
A Lucas county farmer trained a
crow to eat grasshoppers. Then he
starved the crow three or four days,
turned him loose, and the emacia-
ted bird went out into the field and
deVoured eleven bushels of seed
corn. And he wasn't feeling very
corn hungry either. p. S. The
| grasshoppers got away with all the
crow left.-Hawk Eye.
"Charles, dear, said a lady to
her escort at the Boston theater last
night, as the bewitching Aimee
glanced tantalizingly out of the
corners of her eyes at row of
Harvard boys in the orchestra
chairs,-'Charles, dear, Pm afraid
she is saying something very i'm
proper. Find me the place in the
libretto, will your"
Officers and criminals have many
exciting encounters in Arizona,
but few that are more thrilling than
that between a Sheriff7s party and
four stage robbers near Eureka.
There was q long chase on horse
back. and exchange of about twenty
revolver shots, and finally a hard
fight with knives. One officer and
two robbers were killed, and
wounds were numerous.
A lady of Springfield, Mass, sew
eral years ago heard a famous sing
er give the familiar song of "Rory
O'More," the first two lines of
which are:
"It was Rory O'More courted Kathleen
He was bold as hawk, and she soft as
the dawn"
Much delighted, she went home
and sang it from memory, never
having seen the music, and it is said
that for seven years she sang the
second line, "He poulticed a heart,
and she swallowed it down." be-
fore she discovered her mistake.
It is q bright idea-this idea Of
tying a knot in the corner of a nap
kin and tucking it into the collar at
the throat, to protect ones shirt boz
som while eating.
A New Bedford lady who did
not want to use slang, recently in.
quired of q shopkeeper the price OF
q "burst of General Grant.
Even the fairest rose has Its
thorns; even the jolliest picnic par
ty has its young man who has sat |
down on custard pie.
A man has re-deposited in q saw
lngs bank in Maine, the identical
package of bills which he with
drew q year ago under the influence |
of q scare. He has lost $l75 in in
terest.
Quite good many people who
would religiously scorn themselves
if they were freeloyers, hover
around q prurient case as busybod-
les aud gosssps.
During q recent Investigation I'm
London q room 9 feet by II, was
discoYered in q house situated near
the Bank of England, in which re.
sides woman GID, man and his
wife, young woman and three
children, her younger sister, her
younger brother, and q female dog
with six pups.
Mamma, tearfully inquired an
up town girl, "why can't have q
pony phaeton this summer? Every
body that is anybody has one.
T" My child, yon know have passed
the appropriation, but your pa has
vetoed the bill" More tears and
the promise of new croquet set
out of the market money.
Not long ago an aged lady of
FontainebIeau died, leaving large
and among other be-
quests, left to local physician who
had long attended her huge oaken |
trunk, the opening of which excl
ted great expectations. But the
contents did not prove to be par
valuable. They were the
drugs and doses which he had sup
piled to her for years past.
When you see q child that has no
respect for his parents, you can
make up your mind that the child 9
and parents should be looked after
rather sharply.
Baltimore has 6 queer old man {.
who, every day ct one O'Clock, goes !
through certain street ands takes
hIs stand near pump. There he
counting aloud the per-
sons who come for water until the
reaches II, when he turns
and goes the way be came TO his
home.
Mrs. Cox, of Holderness, N. H.
l0I years old on the 25 uIt, Is now
enjoying for the first time in her
life the delight Of Whooping cough.