The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-07-27
The Aged Tramp.

The lady of Cottage Hill house, the
nurse girl and cook, held brief consulta-
tion, and concluded that an old man whose
toes stuck out of his boots, and the crown
of whose summer hat was held by a hinge
of straw and Tapped up and down in the
wind, disclosing the fact the aged wearer
was very, very bald, must be really worthy,
and they invited him to seat in the kitch-
en- while his breakfast was being prepared.
The fragrance of the frying pan revived the
dropping spirits Of the aged tramp, and un-
locked his streams of conversation which
the cold charities of the world had frozen
up. Tilting his char back against the
wall he said: :" The people Of the Oil Re-
gions appear TO get along right slick.
Everywhere have been things look COM
Portable and homelike, and business seems
to be crowding right ahead" With this
as a starter, the old man carried the con-
yersation through State and National poll
tics, religion, literatme, ETC. 81 like my
meat well done. he suggested to the cook,
who he observed was preparing to lift his
steak from the stove; "and that reminds
me- he went on, that the Russians are
pursuing an under-done, wishy-washy
course on I'll banks of the Danube" He
frightened the cord that held his coat to-
gether in lieu of buttons, tapped an ear to
unseat troublesome fly, and continued
!" Dog my cats If it doesn't make me about
half mad at the Gear. IF had command
of that army, do you know what would
do?" and he shut one eye and glared at the
lady Of the house as inquiringly as a cate
ehism. No one seemed to know.
81 would push right across" exclaimed
the old man. striking the sink with his fist,
"and if wouldn't make them greasy
Turks hunt their holes there's no hereafter.
All it requires is IA pontoon bridge aud
little git up and SO long Mary Jane.
His breakfast was ready, and thrusting
his legs under the table with the air of a
man who had just bought the house and
lot and paid the money down, he harpoon.
ed roasted potato and continued
"Old Hopandgofetchit, who has COM
lnand of the Russian zouayes, is in the best
position in tho world to skip right along
into Constantinople and take possession of
the Court House. / would do it swear
to gracious I wonld.'
Then he reached out and captured hard
boiled egg.
SO vya,1fH tIp IL co nt1Sak III xrny.fd mn oiya
tlr ir everlasting heads swim. Then
would take IA run across the Mediterranean,
anp Gown on the Suez Canal boats, tear up
the tow-path and take possession of the
mules. Thence across the country to the
Gulf of Mexico, would fly as tho hurri-
cane, leaving death and desolation in my
see here, Susan" he said, breaking off
short and addressing the nurse girl, g for
the love of heaven, don't hold the baby
with his head DOWN.
The old gent continued to draw in the
victuals like man who hadn' tasted a bite
for six months, and talked in way to turn
q book agent green with envy. He told
tho women what Congress ought to do when
it meets, and finally showed away from the
table. wiped his lips on the cloth, and asked
if they had an old pair of pants that wasn't
bagged at the knees. The pants were
hunted up and handed to him by the lady
OF che house, who In turn asked if he would
go out into the garden patch and kill few
potato bugs for her.
Potato bugs" he said, as he gathered
up his hat and passed to the door, " potato
h.tga are something with which have had
itn experience dou't know one from a
jay bird. But friend of mine will be
al rig here about noon who can kill more
potato bugs in minute than you can shake
stick at. I'll leave a chalk mark on the
z te ps,st. and he will call. T:i-ta, and
the aged ramp tipped his hat gaily and
WIS eff, his stomach sticking cut in front
Of him like a bas window. Oil City Der
rick