Middletown transcript., 1877-03-10
How the Mans Went Visiting.
A FUNNY SKETCH.

When they reached the depot Mr.
Man and bis wife gazed with unspeak
able disappointment at the recedine
train, which was just pulling away from
the bridge switch at the rate of a thou.
sand miles a minute Their first i'm.
pulse was to run after it, but as ibt
train was out of sight and whistliDg fol
SagetOWD, before they could act upon
the impulse, they remained in the car
riage. and disconsolately turned the
horses heads homeward.
ut all comes Of having to wait for a
woman to get ready" Mr. Man broke
in with, grimly.
II was ready before you were," re-
piled bis wife.
"Great heavens !" cried Mr. Man,
in irrepressible impatience, jerking the
horses jaws out Of place, Just listen
to that! And l sat out iD the buggy
ten minutes, yelling at you to come
along until the whole neighbor hood
heard me !''
Yes" scquiescsd Mrs. Man, with
the provoking placidity which no one
can assume but a woman, "and every
time started down stairs you sent me
back for something you had forgotten.
Mr.. Man groaned
This is too much to bear" be said,
"when everybody knows that if was
going to Europe | would just rush into
the house. put on clean shirt. grab up
my grip sack, and fly; while you would
want at least six months preliminary
preparations. and then dwadle around
the whole day before starting, until
every train had left town"
Well, the upshot of the Pattsr was
that the Mans put off their visit to
Auroral until next week. and it was
agreed that each one should get nim or
herself ready, and go down to the train
and 60, and the one who failed to get
ready should be left The day of the
match came around in due time. The
train was to go at 10 80. and Mr.. Man,
after attending to his business. went
home at 9 As.
"Now, then." he shouted, "only
three quarters of an hour till train time. |
Ely around fair field and no favors,
you know"
And away they few, Mr. Man bulgsd
into this room, and rushed through that
one. and dived into one closet after
another with inconceivable rapidity, |
chuckling all the time to think how
cheap Mrs. Man would feel when he
started off alone. He stopped Oh his
way up stairs to pull of bis heavy boots
% save time. For the same reason be
pulled off bis coat as be run through
he diDing-room. and hung it on the
corner Of the silver closet, Then be
erked off his vest, as be rushed through
be ball. and tossed it on hook in the
lat rack, and BY the time be reached
lis own room, be was ready to plunge
ntO bis clean clothes He pulled out
bureau drawer, and began to paw at
hings like Scotch terrier after a rat.
Eleanor !" he shrieked, "where are
ny shirts 2"
I'm your drawer" calmly replied
drs Man, who was standing placidly
'efore a glass. calmly and deliberately
oaxing a refractory crimp into place
well, by thunder. they amt"
houted Mr.. Man, little annoyed -
'Pvs emptied every thing out of the
rawer, and there isn't a thing in it
hat l ever saw before"
Mrs. Man stepped back few PAGES,
ED her head to one side. and after
atisfying herself that the crimp would
o, and would stay where she put it.
eplied:
"These things scattered around the
OOr are all mine Probably you
avsn't been looking in your own
81 don't see," testify observed Mr..
Ian, why you couldn't have put my
Iings out for me when you hadn't
othing else to do all morning"
because, said Mrs Man, setting
erself to an additional article Of raj {
IeDt with awful deliberation. nobody
ut mine out for me. A fair field and !
0 favors. my dear"
Mr. Man plunged into bis shirt like q
bull at a red fag. s
Foul" be shouted in malicious
iumph "No button on the neck !'
because. said Mrs Man Svpetlv q
ter deliberate stare at the fdgeting,
Inpatient man, during which she but
med her dress, and put eleven pins
here they would do the most good,
because You have got the shirt on v
rong side out" G