Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-11-28
CATS AND BOARDERS.
How They are Esteemed by the People
of the Bermuda Islands.

Mark Twain in Atlantic Monthly for December
AS we entered the edge of the town
(Hamilton, Bermuda Islands) that Sun
day afternoon, we stopped at a cottage
to get a drink of water. The proprietor.
a middle-aged man with a good face,
asked us to sit down and rest His
dame brought chairs, and we grouped
ourselves in the shade of the trees by
the door. Mr.. Smith-that was not his
name, but it will answer-questioned us
about ourselves and our country, and
we answered him truthfully, as a gener-
al thing, and questioned him in return.
1t was all very simple, and pleasant, and
sociable, Rural, too; for there was a
pig and q small donkey and q hen
anchored out, close at hand, by cords to
their legs, on a spot that purported to be
grassy. Presently woman passed
along, and although she coldly said
nothing she changed the drift Of our
talk. Said Smith:
"She didn't look this way, you
noticed? Well, she is our next neigh
Dor on one side, and there's another
family that's our next neighbors on the
other side; but there's a general cool
ness ali around now, and we don't speak.
Yet these three families, one generation
and another, have lived there side by
side and been as friendly as weavers for
a hundred and fifty years, till about a
year ago"
"Why, what calamity could have
been powerful enough to break up so
old a friendship"
"Well it was too bad, but it couldn't
be helped. 1t happened like this:
About year or more ago, the rats got
to Fostering my place a good deal, and I
set up q steel-trap in the back yard
Both of these neighbors run consider
able to cats, and so | warned them about
the trap, because their cats were pretty
sociable around here nights, and they
might get into trouble without my in
tending it. Well, they shut up their
cats for a while, but you know how it is
with people; they got careless, and sure
enough one night the trap took Mrs
Jones principal tomcat into camp, and
finished him up, In the morning Mrs.
Jones comes here with the corpse in
her arms, and cries and takes on the
same as if it was child. 1t was a cat
by the name of Yelverton,-Hector G..
Yelverton,-a troublesome old rip, with
no more principle than an Injun, though
you couldn't make her believe It, | said
all Il man could to comfort her; but no,
nothing would do but | must pay for
him. Finally, | said I warn't invest
ing in cats now as much as | was, and
with that she walked off'in huff, carry
|, IL Il
our intercourse with the Joneses. Mrs.
Jones joined another church and took
her tribe with her. She said she would
not hold fellowship with assassins.
Well, by and by comes Mrs. Browns
turn,-she that went by here Il minute
ago. She had a disgraceful old yellow
cat that she thought as much of as if he
was twins, and one night he tried that
trap on his neck, and it fitted him SO,
and was SO sort of satisfactory, that he
laid down, ..and curled up, and stayed
with it, Such was the end Of Sir John
Baldwin"
Was that the name ofthe cat?'
"The same. There's cats around
here with names that would surprise
you. Maria" Ito his wife,, "what was
that cats name that eat a keg of rats
bane by mistake over at Hooper's and
started home and got struck by light
ming and took the blind staggers and
fell in the we'll and was most
drowned before they could fish him
out?"
"That was that colored Deacon Jack
sons cat. l only remember the last
end of its name, which was To-Be-Or-
Not-To-Be-That-Is-The Question Jack
SON."
Sho! that amt the one That's the
one that eat up an entire box Of Sedlitz
powders, and then hadn't any more
judgment than to go and take drink
he was considered to be great loss, but
[ never could see it. Well, no matter
about the names. Mrs. Brown wanted
to be reasonable, but Mrs Jones
wouldn't let her. She put her up to go
ing to law for damages. So to law she
went, and had the face to claim seven
shillings and sixpence. It made q
great stir All the neighbors went tc
court. Everybody took sides. It got
hotter and hotter, and broke up all the
friendships for 800 yards around-friend
ships that had lasted for generations and
generations.
Well, proved by eleven witnesses
that the cat was of g low character anC
very ornery, and warnt worth a coz
celed postage-stamp, any way, taking
the average of cats here; but [ lost the
case. What could l expect? The sys
tenn is all wrong here, and is bound tc
make revolution and blood-shed some
day. You see, they give the magistrate
a poor little starvation salary, and theI
turn him loose on the public to gouge
for fees and costs to live on. What is
the natural result2 Why, he never
looks into the justice ola case,- never
once. All he looks at is which client
has got the money. So this one pi]ec
the fees and costs and everything on tC
me. could pay specie, don't you see
And ne knew mighty we'll that if he pu
the verdict on to Mrs. Brown, where il
belonged, he'd have to take his swag il
currency"
Currency? Why, has Bermuda 8
currency?"
/: ar