, 1877-12-08
How He "Played" Them,
From the Yamhin Reporter
AMIYY, November Ia Is

tFrun the famhill Reporterl
AMIrY, November l3, 1877.
| The following little sketch is founded or
facts, has considerable romance in it, and wa.
so complete a ruse that it was entitled to the
designation OF a ''nine days wonder" as il
verify was IN the community where it trans.
| pired:
The hero of the corp de etat, your CORES
pondent will call Dick, partly for conyen
ienee sake and partly because everybody
calls him that; for everybody in Yamhill
county knovs pisk, and have known him
| ever SINCE the country was made. Not Dick,
our worthy z. NJ, but our other Dick, our
rollicking, laughing. big. hearted, hald headed
Dick, who ''never goes back On his word, y
and Will ''stay by friend" through adver-
| sity, smallpox or any other frowning calam-
ity. Through years of honest toll Dick s in
| dustry has been well rewarded, and he is
| rieh-said to be worth $50, 600, and think
| 1T IS true. And he is widower Well, a
widower with $50, coo In his name, is liable
to be charming III the feminine eyes-not but
| that Dick was charming, anyway-but the
! $50, 600 aforesaid gave him special charm,
and so he was ogled and petted and invited
| to his hearts content, and any man but Dick
would. most likely, have been spoiled; but
Dick is not one of the ''spoilable" kind.
And so it went on that each one of Dick 5
admirers thought herself the future Mrs. d. !;
each looked down with ineHable scorn upon
all other admirers, and sighted all the rest
of the poorer widowers and old baches and
many cussing poor Dick got from these
same widowers and old baches, but he cared
not and went on his way rejoicing.
However, few days ago things began to
look peculiar. Dick was out bidding friends
to be at his house on certain evening" and
all were promised grand surprise.
Just as was to have been expected, this in
viting business stirred up the breeze OF gos-
sip, and these irrepressibles soon worked the
matter up: Dick ,rds TO be married, Of course !
But who to. All there was the puzzle, and
with ell their ingenuity they could not solve
it. Dick bafiled their best endeavors to ''draw
him out on the secret and SO did Shorty,
Dicks inseparabie friend, who had helped
manage the affair.
Well, the eventful night arrived at last,
and Dicks house was filed from ''garret to
cellar" with invited guests, and all tsave a
chosen few were on the tip-toe OF anxiety rs
to what was gong to happen. Nothing less
than wedding was expected by majority
Of the guests, but who was to be the bride?
No one in that assembly looked like bride.
But 'all things have an end, and SO had
this mystery; for when expectation was al
most at fever height, Dick appeared and By
his side came lady, dressed for the kitchen
and Just from tie kitchen. Surely that could
no. be the bride! U, no; Dick would never
do that TIere We're so many others of rank
and position-som much better o, no; Dick
lust brought her out of the kitchen to see
how it was done,"
But jus. now Uncle Doc Goucher appears
on the scene You know Uncle Dock-every-
body knows him, and the esteem and respect
with which he is held is identical with the
circle of his acquaintance. Uncle Doc took
his stand beside Dick and the lady and spoke
gravely, kindly as follows:
My friends, it has been said that 10th
ing could occur in Amity and be kept Sc
cret; but 1 am going to show You that this
is a faliacy; for, some ar months ago, l, as
minister Of the Gospel, united IN hofy redtock
Mss LIKE Fiazier and r. ". Philips, the
lady and gentleman before you"
Then up stepped Alex Watt and produced
a neatly framed document, read frem it the
license and the certificate of marriage between
II. W. Phillips and Miss NJ. f. Frazier, dated
May 18th, 1877, and signed by the proper
witnesses.
Had sixteen Joves hurled sixteen thousand
thunderbolts into the room it would not
have created more stir than was created by
this announcement. Some of the females
would have tainted. only there was nobody
behind to catch them and no wonder, for
here were several who had declared that any
day for the last six months they had only to
say the word and Dick and his eighty thou
sand was theirs but Dick for the last SIX
months had been married man, and, oh,
what would people say,
When the widowers and old batches slap
ped Dick on the back and said well done,
old boy" they meant it, for was not their
worst stumbling block now removed: In
deed, one old widOwer was almost beside
himself, and danced and cut up as many an
tics as boy who has got leave to 60 to a
circus.
After the congratulations came dancing
and then a splendid lunch, gotten up as Dick
said, Sin the good old Southern style. All
enjoyed themselves till about midnight, when
the company went to their several homes,
satisfied that Dick had done the thing up
nicely and outwitted the gossips- NAE