The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1877-07-13
lie HAD GREcIAN CHEEK.
But His milwaukee Ears Gave Him Away.

''I'd like to have you understand,
judge, that I'm the tattOoed man."
The person who claimed this distinction
in the above terms was IL slightly inebri-
ated man who had been hauled before
Justice Morrison for stopping u lady on
the street and requesting her to become
his blushing bride.
The lady had remarked: "11l blush
ing bride you, you dirty loafer," and
turned him over to Il peeler.
"Yes, sir; Pm the greatest living
m ,rtal wonder" assumed the fellow.
".See posters and small bills"
II don't see anything wonderful
about you but the dirt" returned the
judge. "You look very much as if you
had slept in Il coal bin"
Coal bin! I'm the tattooed man, l
tell you"
s.Tattooed fddle-sticks! You're pro-
badly u dock coal-heaver, and drunken
one at that. a little soap and water
would take off your tattoo"
Judge, you do u noble stranger
wrong" returned the sooty prisoner,
drawing himself up haughtily. "I'm u
noble Greek, sir. My father was Il
quartermaster in the Trojan
Helen, whom you've read of, sir, If
you've read the classics at all, was my
mothers first cousin on her fathers
side. Marco BoZlrris, whom the Turk
lay dreaming about in his tent, was my
uncle. My noble race would disown
me if l stopped to tell you a lie. No; l
was captured by a savage band of
Malays when quite young. and subjected
to the cruel punishment known as
t~attooing. l was bound to the ground,
and cruel harbs dipped in the black fluid
were thrust in my flesh seven hundred
million times"
"Oh, how heartless. How you must
have suffered!' exclaimed the judge,
his sympathy thoroughly aroused.
81 did. Oh, indeed 1 { did. / suffer-
ed untold agonies."
'sHow long did it take the wretches
to complete their savage work?"
1.-Two or three days, your honor,
during Which I prayed to die. Oh, how
/ prayed to die!'
by the way, JOHN said the judge,
turning to the clerk, lust figure up
how long it takes a man to count seven
hundred million, not to say how long it
would take him to make that many
thrusts with a cruel barb. Go on with
your story, my noble but tattooed
Greek"
"Oh, the fiends punctured my tender
and delicate flesh until l was tattooed
from head to foot. l felt worse'n Il PIN
cushion. Imagine seven hundred mill
ion mosquitoes singing you at h same
time. 1t would ue unpleasant, but you
could drive 'em away. Would that l
could have driven away the million
stings of those cruel barbs. 1t was
months before 1 healed up, and then
one night l made my escape. l return
ed to my home, to my friends, u
tattooed, distigured, horrible object.
My wife looked in vain for the obliter-
ated strawberry mark by which she
used to identify me. l was deserted
by my friends. L was cut dead on the
very streets of Athens, where my an
cestors had strolled with Plato and
Demosthenes. / Was disowned and
became Il wandering outcast until l
joined the circus, Where I now exhibit
myself for Sl,O0O per week and washing,
my washing not amounting to much, as
l go almost naked most of the time"
How old are you, son of Il classic
racer"
"~rhirty-two."
"Thirty-two! My clerk here figures
out that, taking your own estimate of
the number of thrusts Of those cruel
barbs, it would require one hundred
ouu lhleS ySais, oiA'ySS'Sh aoySs oAu
thirty-nine minutes 10 tattoo you. In
the light of these figures, my dear
Athenian. your story is not altogether
plausible. Then why didn't they tattoo
your ears? THY were appalled, by the
extent of the work, no doubt. No, sir!
you're a fraud. Those ears were never
produced anywhere but in Milwaukee,.
l recognize their peculiar cut and their
ample dimensions. Atheniau! Noble
Greek! Bah! Milwaukeean, long-eared
Milwaukeean, you have attempted to
impose upon me, and your punishment
must be severe. Williams, boil him in
linseed OIL"
Williams says that Just before he
thrust him into the boiling caldron, the
fellow confessed to having stolen his
way down from Milwaukee the previous
night by secreting himself in the hold
Of a coal-vessel.