The Republican journal., 1877-06-21
Observations of Men and Things,
BY OUR GEORGE.
Nrr VA,


clean Russia leather pocket book! MoLLIE.
l presume the only way that can mollify you
will be to answer your letter. 1t is the funniest
question that l ever heard of New York girl ask
ing. If there is place in this world where they
know how to clean pocket books it is in your vii
lage. During prolonged stay there, mine was
clean all the time. Unless it is an old fashioned,
double breasted pocket book IA hackman will clean
it for you in incredible short space Of time.
Some night after you have been to the theatre,
just prance into Demonicos and order supper,
right from the shoulder, without looking at the
bill Of fare, and Ill give bonds that it will clean
any pocket book that young lady is able to carry
Should you be dyspeptic, and not built for late
suppers a meander through Stewards will certain
ly fix your pocket book all right All signs fail in
dry time, and if none of these remedies effect
cure just pack your Saratoga, and buy ticket for
Niagara, and hang around there day or two and
you will never send to again for receipt to
clean pocket book.
SHE WAS CKIMPlNG. When We see the Young
women Of the United States tripping along our
streets, with their hair all trizzed and crimped
and banged, we little know the suffering and the
selves for the OCCASION nor can realize how
they must swear, il were, when they get the Job
all completed and then discover that there is a
thick fog lowering round that will lay their crimps
out as flat knife, before they have been on
the streets five minutes. | say Of the male
SEX who can comb our hair with our fingers when
in hurry, cannot fully comprehend what
it is to stand in front of looking glass for half an
hour, and brush and comb, and braid and twist,
and tie and curl and crmp, before we are ready to
show ourselt to the rest of the world.
She was in her room arranging her tresses. Part
OF them the bed, and part of them laid on
the marble Of the bureau, and part Of them were
growing Oh her head They were beautiful locks,
little too high colored perhaps, trihe too gay
for mourning, but still they We're rich looking The
exact shade the Lewiston. being little be
yond Auburn, and in the night they were gorgeous
That head of hers got her into dreadful fix
She was standing in front of her house one sum
mers eve, and young man encircling her
waist with his arm, and telling her of flowers
and moonbeams and whispering words of love in
her eager when the stiffness of the night
broken, by rude voice belchng out, look here
young man, you just stop hugging that lamp post.
and stagger home Its after leven, and I'm going
to turn this light out" aud stepping up to the
| tonished couple, he saw his mistake, and dropping
his ladder he exclaimed, Holy father if | didn't
take your head for a street lamp"
She had arrived at that part of her labors when
it became necessary to crimt the hair on her fore
head. She lighted the gas let and held Il Slate
pencil in the flame till it was sufficiently hot and
+,,, Il ,sb.
miscalculation, she touched her forehead with the
hot pencil, which caused her to start suddenly,
and the pencil slipped from her fingers, and ull-
wound itself from her hair and dropped.
She had on dressing sack, which loose at
the neck, and in its haste the pencil instead of
dropping onto the floor, modest pencil should,
dropped down the neck of her sack There was a
start, and a pair of hands grasped snow white
neck, and then she yelled. The harder she clutched
the pencil, the it burned her, and when she
loosened up her grip the hot slate dropped further
down to a new spot and then she yelled again.
She went round the room like figure in the
German. She tipped the chairs and she
kicked off her slippers, and still the pencil burn
ed her and she yelled Her mother came into the
room and breathlessly asked-"What Is the mat
| ter" and she hoped up and down and she yelled.
hot pencil will cool of after while and so will
mad girl, but the pencil will cool quicker than
| the girl After time she reached one hand down
her neck and pulled out that slate pencil and
| threw it into the CRATE, breaking it into thous
and pieces She did not utter u single word all
the time, but she yelled.
| This is not fancy picture that have painted,
fairy tale that | have told; but it is ii true
little story of real little girl who lives in classic
| Boston.
He WANTED SOME STUFF. He opened the door
of the BARRIERS shop and cautiously looked in, and
gently asked-"Have you got any stuff that will
color this black! ;" illustrating his question by
drawing his finger across his upper lip. He was
| told that he had, and asked how much he
would have.
We'll, give us about ten cents worth You see
this is my first attempt and don't want to 90 in
very steep, for the darned old thing may go bac};
on me, don't know as You can see H. but its
there. Taint much of a mustuche but it does
well enough for the country" and getting his
stuff" he handed out his tel cents renarking
When | get home III go out behind the barn,
where nobody can me, and I'll daub the Old
thing over; and he passed out into the world with
more responsibility on his shoulders than if he had
the Russian war to close up i'll thirty days,
Our George- Will you please advise me what to
do wish to get married very much but my
hair Is red, and my eyes are ii greensh grey and
| have pug nose and no seems to take /.
fancy to me. Please tell me how 10 go to work
to get Il husband INEVITABLE.
don't exactly get your meaning Kitty cant
tell whether you want very much to get murried
OF want to get married very much. You see there
is big difference, don't you! Now should say
that Brigham Young wanted to marry very much
for he certainly has done 50; but | cannot tell
whether YOU would be satisfied with one husband
or not. One thing in your letter leads me to think
you would not You say, no one seems to take
a fancy to me" Is there any job lot of-we half
a dozen--who would be willing To take you! If
So you better close yourself out to good re
sponsbe parties. Your hair you can paint and
you can put your nose i'll nut cracker and change
| the style of that and quick tempered husband
could give you pair of black eyes. Your case
seems to be a hard one and would suggest that
you embrace the thirty nine articles of the Pres
byterian creed and live right up to them, and Won
will not want husband anything else That
will keep you as busy hcas Il dog
An OFFER | notice an item i'll IA New York pa
per, to the effect that A. H Bogarlus has sent an
offer to England, too shoot any man in the world
at 100 birds. for $1,000 or 100000
Now as business is trihe dull with me, will
make Il better offer than this. will shoot any
man, woman OF child, at a hundred birds, or at
anything else they may name. | will shoot them
.
for one dollar each, and find my ammunition
and weapon 1t to me that the great trouble
is going to be in finding the 100 men that are will
ing to be fired. 1t must necessarily, bruise a
man considerably, to shoot him at bird, even if
he misses the bird. About the safest for the
man. would be to shoot him off into the bay, and
then he could have boat handy to pick him up
and if he was well creased and not rammed down
too hard think he would not fare very badly. Ii