Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1877-06-14

4
| the buggy, there was no claret there.
Then Polonius was Intercepted. She
| is an excellent creature. but afflicted with
a fluent piety of speech, whose liberal dis
pensation on all occasions is not quite
reverent.
ELLEN, don't you remember seeing
three tall dark bottles on the window-sill
at the Blank House when you were help
ing me to pack ~
F'Indeed, thin, ma'am, | ricollict thin
intirely a-standin' in row be the windy
an I've splindid mimory, it's niver gone
back on Inc yit."
did you see me put them into a bas-
ket?"
''Deed N | don't call to mind l seen
We do anything wild thin. | reminder
him bottles, because you was jist afther
givin' me the earrings out o. the drawer
in the table be the windy
ooh, that makes me think: could you
wear them?"
ooh, sure ma'am, l niver had me ears
holed from that day to this; but my Mary
Ann, an she not three year old come
March, she fetched thin down Monday
aft the booreau; an, Mother SEE she,
iii wear thin earrings wan day. SEE
she. She's raal smart, that wan"
This was too much for Nan; she left
Polonius to her scrubbing, and turned to
me with comic yet desperate expression:
Its no use, Jack; they're gone"
If only she could have accepted that
situation, we should have had peace; but
day after day went on, and our possessions
were daily turned inside out, outside in,
and bottom side up, while all our friends
were RECALLED with the woful tale, and
everybody wondered who could have stolen
the claret.
Six weeks after, as I came into the par
Tor at night, beheld a strange pile on the
table, carefully yelled with towel Nan
sprang up trcm her low chair, and with a
naughty sparkle in her eye, and highly
dramatic sweep of her arm, snatched off
the towel, and revealed the three claret
bottles.
/ sank on to the sofa and laughed till /
could laugh no more.
D." You horrid thing!" she exclaimed,
after she had laughed a little herself. 81
thought you'd be so glad.'
My dear, I'm as glad as I can be; but
consider the weakness of humanity /
had to laugh; | should have died of its
suppression and the flood of memories
this apparition called up.''
"Oh!!r' Exclamation marks cannot
give the indignation which this little syl-
liable hurled at me.
Where did you find them, Nan? ''
81 don want to tell you. | thought
you'd be magnanimous, and you're not
bit. [ bnnao | never shall hear the last of
that claret. But, if you must know, they
were in my work. basket, rolled up in
Gracey's new flannel night-gowns
Here she had to laugh with me; and,
though | lose all character for magnan-
unity, | must own that Nan never did hear
the last of that claret, for it was perpet-
ually brought to confront her during the
next three months, when, at one time,
every pair of her scissors disappeared, to
be recovered from the crease of the sofa,
the middle of Webster's Dictionary, and
the top of a jam-pot on the highest pantry
Shelf-places where she had laid them
down in some emergency, and quite for
gotten them; at another, when every one
of five pair of eyeglasses Especially pro-
vided to avert such a catastrophe as my
near-sighted wife being left without any,
took to themselves wings or heels, and, by
patient search, were at last resrrrected
from forgotten pockets, the desk, the
dressing case, drawers and-shall a say
thunder the bed AS for spOOls, neck
ribbons, handkerchiefs, gloves, they
seemed to symbolic the lost tribes of
Israel for number and persistence, except
that they always came back.
1t is true that also lost things, but in
the normal way; a sleeve button that
dropped out in the street and never came
back; a new buster that fell from the
buggy on drive, and probably has done
somebody else good service long since.
! Mans worst losses were retrieved inevita-
bly,. -.
But in three months came loss that
was really annoying. Nan has dreadful
headaches after any exposure to cold, and
consequently wraps her head up in long
and thick veil if the weather is the least
threatening when she is obliged to face it.
There was funeral one day in Port
land, some thirty miles from us by rail,
which she must attend, being one of the
immediate family; and, though it was
May, the sky looked dark enough when
Nan left me-for I could not leave my
business to 90 with her further than the
station. Of course. she took her veil-a
new and expensive one, just obtained
from New York. But after she reached
town the weather changed to extreme
heat, and the next afternoon | met her at
the train, flushed and painting, with her
thick shawl over her arm, scolding about
the day: ''I've been almost roasted, | do
assure you. The house was like an oven
| - CNCI y OOGy SdSpluS. anu bIlc cars, on,
how hot they werel Please, I'd rather
walk home; I'm too warm to ride"
So we walked home; and matters went
on as usual for two or three weeks, when,
one day, picnic being afoot Nan came
to me with wide eyes:
Jack, do you remember, that day [
came home from Aunt Dorcas' funeral,
seeing my dark blue veil in my hand? ~
No, | don't. Is it lost. Nan?"
'Of course it is" she retorted, with
much dignity. CT must have left it in
the cars. l remember taking it off my
hat, | was so warm, and hanging it over
the seat-back. Will you please go up to
the noon train and ask Conductor Scott if
he found it?"
Now have. been on so many fools er-
rands of this sort, l gently demurred
6 Are you quite sure you haven't it in the
hoGse, my dear 9''
"Of course am. Jack, l do wish you
neUer would say my dear to me. I'd
rather be sworn at any day. Now you
think haven't lost that veil. ha0e
know | have. But I'll 90 myself
Indeed you won't, Mrs. Nan. But
can you blame me, remembering the
claret?'
The blessed little woman flew after me
to box my ears, but am nimble, and es-
caped-by a hairs breadth.
OF course Mr.. Scott had not seen the
veil. And then Nan recollected she had
1t in one hand coming out of the station:
| therefore she must have dropped it in the
street, and it had to be thoroughly adver-
tised in the local paper. But nobody re-
| stored it.