davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cecil Whig., 1877-03-03
GLEANINGS.

"A sign in South Erie, Pa, reads,
" Rooms to Let, Also Boarders."
In Germany the bagpipe is called
ConStantionlitauische Dudelsackfpeife,
"A journeyman blacksmith says he has
been striking for high wages these twenty
years, with uniform success
=" Any man can do it, exclaimed an
earnest speaker, "any man can do it,
whether he is man or woman
Letters from French firm to the book
sellers Bridgman & Childs in NORTHAMPTON
came directed to " Bridgman ct ffles''
Block says he feels miserable for fear
some one will put head on him. Then
he meditates on - What's in a name3,
The coming here of a strange assassin
is considered as an intrusion.
". 0. Republican.
Lester Wallack is playing Gan for
Her. That may do New York, but the
law allowes her only one-third down here.
=" Isdore Ouida Uptoa,' is the rather
fanciful name of a little girl in Alabama.
Her initial being l. O. T., it's presumable
she S a "child of PROMISE
The latest acquisition Of the Old
South collection at Boston, is the sword
worn by the Hessian commander at the
battle of Bennington, VT, in 1777.
-Governor Newbod, Of Iowa, delivered
the best inaugural address ever listened to
from Governor. After taking the oath
OF office he said, ''I'll do the best | CAM
Two oysters in gallon of lukewarm
lluld at church fair are no longer called
stews, but aquariums; and some people
think that there are too many fish to the
water.
An Aurora man sent his boy down
town with a pair of boots, giving him in
structions to have them half-soled. Short
ly the boy returned with one boot and a
dime. The pair of boots were half Sold
The following is a store sign as copied
rer6attm from the original in a remote
American mining town. Bibles, black
balls, Butter, Testaments, tar, treacle,
Cody books and Gimblets, Condensed
Eggs and Caster Oil, for Sale hear
A witty writer has observed, with
much truth, that every man is, in sense,
three different men. In the first place he
is the man he thinks himself to be: in the
second place, he is the man other persons
think him to be; and, finally, he is the
man that he really is.
"A very poor man, with large family
to support, recently presented an order at
store in Groveton, n. H., for one dollars
worth of goods, which he took up as fol.
lows: One plug of tobacco forty cents;
matches, ten; pack playing cards, twenty
i've tea, to balance, twenty-five.
Among the "prominent arrivals" at
Rochester, n. Y, is the man who barely
escaped Ashtabula, just missed Angola,
was train behind the Cars Rock affair,
had started to the Brooklyn Theatre that
night, just left the powder mill at Troy,
aud was on his way to the Glen starch
factory.
The recently circulated story of
William Sabip, of Sexton, Vt, who had
had 1874 fits in eight years, is defective in
some minor details. The number of fits
he had was only 8 1857 in nine years; VIM.
Sabin never had any fits; there is no such
man as VIM. Sabin at Sexton; and there is
no such place as Sexton in Vermont.
Otherwise the account is reliable.
The Cecil Whig., 1877-03-03
AT THE Blue GLASS WINDOW.

From tie 81, Loajs RepuJljcan.
To see what a maiden flashes
I'm stealing along tile stairs:
My love a. the blue glass sash is,
III come on her uuawareS.
Her hair Of the deepest golden.
Takes the hue of heaven. ! know:
She'll look like saint in some oIden
Church window Of long ago.
Her hair, did I say? Oh, wonder,
Her head, like a billiard ball
CLEANS bare in the sunlight yondel,
Great Caesar! see it all
Her locks, with the gold light fitting,
Were false. She hoped to win
Has none of her Owl: she is sitting
There, trying to get some in
o PleaSontou. where is the kindness
That Sages have seen in thy face
Better suffer from absolute blindness
Than see what I've seen in this place.
\ on We shattered my idol, you We shown m
That science indeed has its dues:
our blue glass invention has thrown me
IN permanent fit of the blues,
The Cecil Whig., 1877-03-03
SIR ISAAC NEwTON'S IMITA1OR.

Old Keyser found Cooleys boy standing
in very suspicious position under his best
apple tree, with stick in his hand, and a
certain bulgy appearance about his pocket
Having secured him firmly by the collar.
keyser shook him up a bit, and then asked
him sternly what he was doing there.
''Ain't a doin nothin'," said Cooley.
- come over here TO study
That's entirely too thin ~ exclaimed
keyser.
Yes, did, came over here to study
about Sir Isaac"
"Sir Isaac. What in the thunder do you
mean, anyhow" >"
"Why, Sir Isaac Newton. We had it in
our lesson. He was in an orchard aud seen
an apple fall, and that made him invent
the attraction Of gravitation, aud | come
over here to see if it was so.
sit won't do, sonny" said Keyser.-
You're too enthusiastic about Sir Isaac.
And besides what are you going to do with
that stick ~
"With this stick? This yer stick >
What was going to do with this stick ?
Why boy gave me this stick to hold for
him while he went on an errand for his
aunt
"And where did the apple core come
from there on the ground?'
What apple core? that one lying there =?
The birds is awful on apples this season.
| seen Il black bind drop that there, and /
says to myself, Them birds are jest ruinin
keysel's apples, and wont Mr.. keyser be
awful mad which,
What makes your pocket bulge out
that way"
Mother made them pants, and they
never did set right Oh, that bulsin' place.
Well, as | couldn't find out much about Sir
Isaac here. | was just takin' two or three
apples home TO see if l could discover
somethin' and to ask my father to help me
Mr., keyser what are you goin' to do ?
I'll never take another apple as long as
live-'pon my word | won't.
Then Keyser logged him, and Mr.. Coo
ley's boy has knocked oft on Sir Isaac
Newton and natural philosophy, and is
devoting himself to other branches of
knowledge.
The Cecil Whig., 1877-03-03

MACE AND NUTMEGs Most of our
readers doubtless know that the nutmeg,
like all other spices, grows in tropical
countries. The fruit oc the nutmeg tree,
especially as 1t approaches maturity, is
very like large yellow peach. At ma
turity the outer hull opens, and if not
gathered the valuable product wonld soon
fall to the ground. The mace is the second
coat which covers the nutmeg, and almost
envel0ps the dark, impervious hull, or
third covering of the nutmeg. When the
product is gathered the mace is of a deep
red color, and is taken carefully from the
hull which still incloseS the nut. Then the
hull is broken and the nut taken out, when
it is ready for market. In the palmy days
Of the " Hon, East India Company" all
the company's possessions were governed
by twenty four gentlemen in London. called
the :" Hon, Court of Directors" who had
spent all their lives from early manhood to
middle age in India. were usually the com
pany's most distinguished civil and military
servants, aud were supposed to know every
thing pertaining 70 the interests Of the
great corporation. They superiutended
the sale of all Indian products. and, finding
at one period that the mace sold more
readily than the nutmeg, they wrote to the
Government in India In cnltirute more of
tie mace and less Of tie NIT,
The Cecil Whig., 1877-03-03
THE SPARROW.

He's not very pretty, as every one knows,
Yet he stays here and sings,
While the other weak things,
Go dying away to the south when 1t SHOWS
And cold Boreas blows.
| love him for this, and It's right that |
should,
For his musical voice,
Makes my heart to rejoice;
This little brown bird with music so good
Sweet bird from DER the flood.
Right valiant is he in defense of the right,
And when guarding his nest,
Or the mate he loves best;
Like a soldier he's willing and ready to
fight
This brave. brown coated knight.
He's bold as lion and strong for his size,
And I'm sure you'll agree,
That a bold bird is he;
His courage or prowess would dare TO
despise-
He might soon loose his eyes.
He's right merry bird and brisk as a bee
This little brown bird,
Whose song you have heard,
AS sweetly he sings in the snow covered
This bird from over the sea.
Elkton, February IN, 1877.
The Cecil Whig., 1877-03-03
BUBBLES.
The miners dream of life is ore.

The miners dream of life is ore.
The rolling stone has no use for moss
any way.
The ladies fairly revel in the sweet buy
and buy.
Spell COW with thirteen letters-See o
double you.
The man at the wheel has a stern duty
to perform.
An amendment to the constitution
A wooden leg.
Affection which is never reciprocated
Neuralgia affection.
Why's gold like the Prodigal Son?
Because it's returning to par.
A hot minee pie will keep man awake
as long as guilty conscience.
-Treading on the Presidents corns-
When Congress passes over his V-toes
Why is bookseller like a shoemaker?
Because he lives by other mems nudsrstan-
ding.
Why is a sheet of postage stamps like
Slightly connected.
What trees are those which, when fire
is applied to them, are exactly what they
were before? Ashes
The man of genius cares nothing for
money. His creditors are the only persons
who make disturbance.
To what length may widow go when
she desires new parent for her children?
She may go a step father.
An Irishman returned from his travels
CALAMITY compared his landlady to Vesuvius.
because she was fine old crater.
A quack advertses that he can heal
some patients by simply looking at them.
He probably has a see cure practice.
Who are the most wicked people in the
world. and why? Pen-makers-because
they make people steel pens, and tell them
they do write.
"A Detroit restaurateur hangs out a
sign Of free chops" and when the old
loafers come around he shows them an ak
and a woodpile.
Jennie docking in milliner's win
dow" Don't you think they are very
pretty?' Lizzie" Very, especially the
one with the long, black e-whiskers."
In the economy of nature nothing IS lost.
The inside of an orange may refresh one
man, while the outside of the same fruit
may serve to break another mans leg
-" What does Good Friday meana"
asked one school boy of another. "You
had better go home and read your Robi-
son Crusoe," was the withering reply
1t won't be long before some long
haired poet will break into impassioned
song about Gentle Spring. The public is
hereby cautioned against any act of vio-
lence; treat him gently, but firmly.
The papers relate an ancedote of
beautiful young lady, who had become
blind, having recovered her sight after
marriage. 1t is no uncommon thing for
peoples eyes to he opened by matrimony.
"A German looked up at the sky, and
remarked: Il guess leedle it will rain
sometime pooty quack." "Yees do, eh ?''
replied an Irishman. What business
have yees to purtend to know about Amey
ken weather, ye furriner?"
The Cecil Whig., 1877-03-03

THE DAY WE CkLERRATE.-Someb
has discovered and arranged the following,
to show how marriage anniversaries may
be celebrated Systematically, correctly and
accordngrto uoyle-possihly:
First anniversary-lron.
Fifth anniversary-W OGDEN.
Tenth anniversary
Fifteenth anniversary-Cryst
Twentieth ahniversary-C
Twenty fifth anniversary Silver.
Thirteth anniversary Cotton.
Thirty fifth anuiversary-Linen.
Fortleth anniversary WOolen.
Forty fifth anniversary
Fittieth anniversary
Seventy fifth niversary-Diamond.
The Cecil Whig., 1877-03-03

IS Y ou can buy from Messrs. VIM. Read
& son, 13 Faneuil Hall Square, Boston, a
good English Breech-loading Gun, for the
small sum of SIS 90; they keep also the
finest guns. and there is nothing in the
sporting line that they cannot furnish you
at less price than any other house. Write
hem for a catalogue.
The Cecil Whig., 1877-03-03
Itching Piles !

Are generally preceded by moisture like perspira-
tom distressing itching, though pin worms Were
crawling in and about the rcctim. particularly Ht
night when undressing. in bed after getting
ottcntimes shows itself around The private parts and
frequently fem les sorcy afflicted extending into
the vagina proTing very distressing Cases Of long
stnudLng arc nernannnllX cmred hX slmulN apnlyimg
The Cecil Whig., 1877-03-03
PURELY VEGETABLE.

containing th,,,, southern Roots Irrt>, which
all-w>c Providence has placed countries where LIVER
Diseases prevail :: will cure al Diseases caused ::
-a.a2EoGe.. :: he Live. aoi E'wa.s.
The SYMPTOMS of Liver Complaint a bitter
bad tt- in the mouth Pain in the Back, Sir Joints
oftru mistaken for Rhcuntti>n S3c. S.o-3.: Loss of
Appetite: Bowels alternately Cl-ttNr ami lax; Had
schr; Loss of memory, with painful sensation OF htv
ing failed to dc something which ought 10 have been
done; -oc:.:ty. L7v sr-:s, thick yellow appearance
of the Sku and Eyes, dry Cough often mistaken for
Consumption.
Sometimes nauy of these symptoms attend the disease.
at others very few: tut the LIVER. the largest
the body i generally the of the disease. and il
regulated in tmr, great suffering, wretchednesS and
Death will ensuc.
recommend AS An efictcous remedy for disease
of the Liver. Heartburn and Dyspepsia, simmons Liver
Reg ator. LEWIS Il. WUSpER 1928 Master Street,
ASSISTANT Posi- MASTER PuL>DEIrUIA.
We have tested its virtues. personally. and know
that for Dyspepsia. BiiirU~n'~~. aud lhr"hhing II adj
a>he. It j. the best medicine til" world We
have tried forty other remedies hr'rc Simmons Liver
Regulator. but none "t th"u more than tenn
porry rc'irt: but the Regulator only rrlit we'd. but
cured .'-ED. TELEGRAPH t>D MESSENGER Macon, ia.
MANCFACTUEHr ONLY EY
The Cecil Whig., 1877-03-03
SWAYNE'S OINTMENT.

IA Blood Purifier and for SCrnfuouS Mercuria
Affections Cancerous Formations. B"ils. Ulcers Sore
Legs. liberated Sore Throat and t. removable and in
vgurate the shattered constitution. DR.. SWAiNE'S
PANACEA" has acquired national reputation. See
That yuu get the genuine. prepared only hy Er.
Swayne x son. $50 North Sixth Street. Philadelphia.
The Cecil Whig., 1877-03-03
SWAYNE'S OINTMENT.
EXTRACTS FROM LETTERS.

EXTRACTS FROM LETTERS.
nr. Swayuc i son. Geutcmeu-Thn box of Oint-
mcnt you 10y mail cured me -ntireiy of Itching
Piles which l suffered with for five years: enclosed
find 80 cents for another hux for a friend of mine
ANDREW i. REACH.
FarmwjIl Station, Luuioun Co, Va.
FREDERICK co MD. HEARD FROM.
DR.. Swayne Son: Enclosed please find one dollar
for boxes Of your ointment for itching Piles
These for Of my friend, who afflicted with
this distressing complaint The box You sent
wear ago used about uur-htlf Of it and glad. yes
am proud say it made perfect cure. | think its
efficacy should he published throughout the length and
breadth of tho land. You publish this If you think
proper. DAVID HROsSNtCkLE
Ladle.hurg Frederick Co Nd
READER If you suffering Nitr th> annoying
complaint. letter. amy ,ru>ty, >cIiy itchy skin
disease GO y"ur druggist and get box OF Swaynes
All-Iraling Ointment II Will surely Won. Price
box Three boxes 81 -, i huN"s 8 80. Sent
by mai; any address, receipt Of IA" price. Pre-
pared only by
DIR. SwAYNE & son,
SO NORTH SMITH STREET PHILADELPHIA.
Sold by all Prominent Druggists.
The Cecil Whig., 1877-03-03

\ CARD TO THE AMERICAN PUBLIC
For many years we have made two med
ICincs suited to the ailments of q vast class
of sufferers. Thousands of cures have
been made by them, aud. in fact the word
iailnre could never he coupled with them.
But within the last two years counterfeits
Of our medicines have sprung up, danger
ons in their close imitation of our Trade
Mark. To secure the people we have
placed upon each genuine box of tolloway's
Pills and Holloway's Ointment the fac
Simie of the signature of our Agent, Mr..
Jos. lIaydock. To counterfeit this is felony.
We shall relentlessly pursue any one who
initiates this with the utmost yigcr of the
law. We most earnestly beg that the
great mass of the American people will
aid us IN our efforts TO protect their health,
and help us in our task of bringing these
most unprincipled men to the bar of
justice. Uniformly refuse to purchase
Medicines purporting to be ours unless Mr.
Jos. Haydock's signature is attached to
each Box of Pills or Pot of Ointment and
the end will soon be reached.
The public's obedrent servants,
HOLLOWAY X Co.
The Cecil Whig., 1877-03-03

Cheapest: 7usas: aai Best Family &a3ci,a il :aa wo:d
For DYSPEPSIA. CONSTIPATION. Jauulcc, Bill
ions attacks. SICK HEADACHE, Collie. Depression of
Spirits. SOUR STOMACH Heart Burn. &c &C
This unriyaei Southern Remedy i warranted not To
contain single particle of MERCURY, any injurious
The Cecil Whig., 1877-03-03
MED{CIN4L.

ASK the recovered dys-
pcpticS. bilious sufferers.
victims of Fever and AEue,
the mcrcurial diseased pa
tiaut how they recovered
health. cheerful spirits and
good apprtitc-th"y will
trll yuu by taking SIM
MONS LIVER REGUL4TCE.
The Cecil Whig., 1877-03-03

IL One manuftctory IN Berkshire, Mass,
is turning out IL, 900 feet Of blue glass a
week.
The Cecil Whig., 1877-03-03

GATHERING COCuANUTS. .-COcoanut for
rests of thousands of acres are spread over
the plain back of Gale. The tIees run up
without knot or limb from thirty to eighty
\ matured tree is only about one foot to
foot and a half in circumference at the
the way up. How is the fruit gathered at
such hight? The coolies climb these
trees like squirrels; they place rope
around the legs near the ankles so as to
holj them in position around the Tree, and
then without a spur or other artificial help,
thy climb up with astonishing CELEBRITY,
gather the fruit and drop it on the ground.
A single tree produces about dozen cocoa
nuts and the coolie harvester is allowed
one for gathering the fruit of each tree
These co1oanuts forests are really beautiful,
presenting symmetrical growth, graceful
propo, tons and charming shade. The
fruia itself with inclosed milk affords
healthfui food and cooling drink: it is a
source of considerable revenue from sx.
post; the fibre of the she'll is largely utl-
izsd for the manufactory Of cloth and rope.
Next to coffee, the cocoanut is the most
important and valuable product on this
is,and.-Troy Times.
The Cecil Whig., 1877-03-03
j. II. ZEIy.sN & CO.,

MACON, GA. aud PHILADELPHIA.
Price, Sl.CO. Sold hg all Druggists.
bet II. l>76-ly =
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-11
SOMERSET. OHIO, OCT. 11th. 1877.
A LIE NAILED!

Personally appeared before me
Robert B. Woodward, Mayor of the
Incorporated Village of Somerset, o.
VIM. P. Magruder, who being duly
sworn according to law, deposeth and
saith that he did not speak or write, to
Judge J. f. Finck, or A. F. Stinch-
comb, concerning the publication of
the Perry County, Tax Notice, during
the last canvass or at any other time;
and only to John B. Overmyer, once,
and that as to the price of said publ
cation forty dollars, and he asked me
only in regard to the number of sub
scribers TO the Press. Not one word
was said or written in regard to can
didates or politics.
w. p. MAGRUDER:
Sworn to and subscribed before me
this day Oct. 10th, A. d. 1877.
ROBT. B. WOODWARD,
MAYOR,
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-11

close to where he was he opened fire. What
with his sixteen shooter, an his two revol-
yers an their returnin' the fire, it sounded
to me like whole regiment. never knew
whether he killed any, but he wounded
some sure, an they scattered like hell was
after 'em, some of them as was hurt howlin'
like devils. He just cams up with,the stage,
an rode on as cool as you please. He WAS a
smart feller
Now, the next day on my return trip,
noticed that one of the stage eompany's
agents al a relay station-we changed horses
every twelve miles-had his arm in sling,
an when got back to Deadwood ! heard
of the fust citizen as was suddenly laid up.
says TO the agent, what's the matter? why
Gays he, kinder careless, damn dog bit me
last night Yes, said these gov v'ment dogs
do bite putty hard sometimes, don't they?'
Well, he pitched into me like the devil be-
cause / didn't Civ 'eIn signal the night be-
fore so they'd know what the gov'ment a
gent had done. He said the boys were going
to be on hand in my trip through the next
night. and were going TO 60 for me- Now |
/ knowed he were truthful man about things
/ Of that kind, so ] went to the company :
Office an drawed my pay, an said how rec
koned ! didn't want to drive no more for
fear my health might suddenly give way
So they engaged young Dutehman from
Nermont-nice feller he was too, an 4 good
driver to take the stage, went to him like
a brother an says, Now don't you take thai
stage out to night anyway, or you'll be sor
ry for it.; but of course it WANT no use I've
felt sorry for him ever since, but he woult
go, even when ! told him that the boy
would take him for me. He mig t hav,
knowed.
. Did they hurt him as they threatened t
do you? | asked innocently
Well, don't know if they hust him; bu
you could have read that newspaper throug
|. him when they found his body in Dea
Mans Canyon. never did see a body :
A full of holes in my life
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-11

The National Laboring mems Ticket re-
ceived from 107 TO 125 votes, on an aver.
rage Of lie votes in Reading Township.
This result is achieved in the face and
against the bitter opposition of both the
old parties. The effect upon the old par
ties may be approxinated by comparison
with the vote oflast year, when the head of
the Democratic ticket reed 427 votes
showing decrease of 56 votes this year
compared with last. The head of the Re-
publican ticket last year received 327 votes.
This year 2i5 votes; a decrease Of 112 votes.
Since the decrease OF the Republican vote
is double that OF the Democratic vote, il
may not be unfair to presume that twice as
many former Republicans voted the Labor
ing mems ticket as former Democrats, but
the data upon which this fact is based
more assumed than certain. The vote or
Treasurer and Commissioner shows tha
hundreds Of former Democrats must have
voted the Laboring men 3 ticket in the coun
~ and that not less than 80 to 10 Of thes,
were east in Reading Township alone. lie
this be as il may, we congratulate the no
ble and lofty independence and patriotism
nf the l09 who had the manhood to vot
for Stephen Johnston and thus to lay tn
foundations of the working men'a party il
Old Reading.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-11
A Word to the Unemployed.

oar attention has been called TO new
cooking ulensil, recently invented, which
makes baking pleasure, instead Of dread
e,I necessity; the inventor OF which has con-
ferred an everlasting blessing upon every
hnnsekeeper We refer TO the Patent Cen.
tennial Cake and Bread Pan, with which,
by simply raising hook you can remove
tha sides of the pan from the cake instantly
wi,houl breaking or injuring it in the least,
thus enabling you to ice and frost il while
warni. To remove the tube in the center,
insert = knife in she slot in the top Of the
iudr. ard simply give il n half turn, and il
will drop ont i, is also provided with a
slide Oh the bni,nu, ~ that, when you re-
move the fuhp. voH can close the hole, maxi
INK psr With plain bottom. for baking
,plly aud plain cakes, pudding, bread. etc.
hus praciieoliy giei0g 20" hco pms tor NE
o,ice Of oHe.
Th- Centennisi Cake Pan is highly rec
commended by the i,dip- hiring the best
end most convenient pan eyer introduced
They are made Of Kn-sia iron, oyc more d,,-
rabLe, and piH bokc yoar cClkes more ereaiy dno
r. much nicer Jrowa hoA you coa bile them ia
he oid.f1shioHea GH pans These goods arr
-old exclusively through agents to families
and every housekeeper should by all meani
have them 4 splendid opportunity Is of
fered to some reliable lady or gentlemen
eanvasser of this county to secure the agen
ey for pleasant and profitable business
For term, territory, etc, write to l.. Z
Brown Il Co., Nos. PA and PIG Elm Street
Cincinnati, Ohio.