West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1877-11-24

And the woodland Is sere and gray,
Aud the huckwhcat comcth 20 usher In
~ Y CommercieL
YoNKERs Gazette: London tailor
has this sign i'm his window. "No Amer
lean orders taken without deposit
Above n bar in Chicago may be read:
No trust for alleged English noble
men,"
The BrcdkJdSt Table Is the new can
didatc for humorous honors in Cincin-
natl. IL tx full of wit, and Porkopolis
now claims that she has witty journal
that is not excelled by any of them.
A DETROIT lady kept her little
daughter at home from school the other
day ON account of storm, and the cner-
gctic female teacher sent another little
girl, n pupil, without an umbrella,
through the driving rain-storm to asccr-
tain the cause of the absence.
BosToN Post: II is stated on excellent
authority that one of Anna Dickinson's
offers of marriage which she didn't ac-
cept was made by General Is. f. Butter
That shows excellent judgment both in
General Butler and Miss Dickinson.
WORCESTER Press A tipsy book agent
declared that he and Neal Dow drank
brandy and water together on Sound
steamer. When he was confronted by
the wrathful apostle of temperance the
fellow explained that he drank the
brandy and Dow the water
DIR. DoBBs is female physician in
regular practice in ST. Louis. She wears
trousers confined Mt the bottom rather
closely, IA garment in place of q coat
which is neither coat nor cloak, and
hat which is neither male nor female i'm
character, but compromise between
the two. She takes sun baths, and has
immensely high fences surrounding her
house.
THE Russians are evidently suffering
severely from sickness i'm the Dobrudscha.
Pill. Press. We've had pains in our
head, pains in our stomach, and pains
everywhere else, save in our Dobrudscha.
Thank heaven we're all right there yet.
When mans Dobrudscha gives out,
he'd better measure his length on the
ground and send for an undertaken.
He's gone, sure.-Necdrk Courier.
BosToN Journal; An exquisite leading
a dog by string, lounged up TO the
ticket Office window Of railway station,
and inquired: "Must T. -aw-t take n
ticket for puppyW He was natu-
the ticket seller answered, i'm Il slightly
bewildered tone, and after n moments
reflection: No, you can travel as an
ordinary passenger"
Twas ever thus, from cbildbood's time,
I've seen my fondcst hopes decay,
neer sent in little rhyme
But what II was returned next day.
never offered e'en a verse,
poem, ballad or a sonnet,
But what, aud Oft with muttcred curse
N y Commercial
ROME IN. W Sentinel; The Fifth
Ward gentleman who left church so
suddenly last Sunday WIS not sick, as
his friends feared at the time. That
forenoon, just before service, he visited
his barn 10 see that his horse had been
properly cared for, and finding a new
laid egg ne put IL in his coat tail pocket.
The recollection that the egg was still
in his pocket prompted him TO steal
away from the congregation 70 make i'm
vestigations, and we regret 10 say that
his worst fears were realized.
DANsURY Ncus: The tomato is what
may be called self-made vegetable,
and in this particular deserves, per-
haps, higher degree Of respect than
can bc accorded 10 any plant. ~ came
| 10 this country in the humblest circum-
stances, being brought here as food for
swine, but through pure merit IL has
risen from an obscure origin TO the front
| rank in the vegetable kingdom. IL
merely shows us what true worth will
accomplish in the most adverse circum-
stances.
A LADY reader Of the Buitctin says:
"Wcrc you not mistaken when you in
formed the public, through your paper,
that Abraham was the first auctiOneer
when be put Isaac up for a sacrliceP p
If ! remember right some two thousand
years previous to that occurrence Cain
assumed the role Of auctionecr when he
knocked down Abel Bosf0n bulletin.
The Herdh has positive information
that Eve was the first auctioneer when
she put up Adam and sold him with an
apple.--M y HeroM.