The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1877-04-12

That wouldn't be likely to fail,
And I'd hay down my head contented
TO let the moss over me grow.
As it dses ON the trees in the forest.
And say 1 was wiliin' to 60.
Ifthe Lord has alters been with me.
And held me fast by the hand,
When the fog kivered up the valleys,
And I'D lost the lay of the land,
And twas safe to trust Him 50 fur,
I'll trust Him the very last mile;
He knows where TO look when lie wants me
Without hailin' Him all the while,
A GREEN GHocER-One who trusts.
LONG DIvIsIoN-Separatio for life.
A CAPITAL LETTER-The love-letter.
A NOTORIOUS EAvEsDRoPPER-Ra
A FINAL REPCRT-The crack of doom
Can an honest meal be made out of
'boned" turkey?
How to develop the Imagination
Get the delirium tremens.
IL row of columns is colonnade
isn't row of lemons lemonade?
Two ways for Sunday-The way to
church and the way back again.
Why is a billiard-marker like a
stage prompter? Because he gives
the players the cue.
"YoT'RE very pointed, and feel it,
as the young lady remarked when she
ran the needle in her finger.
THEY are no longer called "pretty
waiter girls" They're '-lady CONVEX
sationalists," if you please.
IT is folly to pay forty cents for a
sheet of music when you can go to
churchland get it by the choir for moth
ing.
A Kentucky distiller has whisky on
hand to the value of million dollars
"a valuable parcel OF reel-estate.
SOME hygienic writer says: "Let
your children eat all the salt they
want" Bless you! it isn't salt they
want-it's sugar.
A YOUNG lady being asked by pol
itIcian which party she was most in
favor of, replied that she preferred q
wedding party.
A DETROIT restaurant-keeper hangs
out sign of "free chops" and when
the old ioafers come around he shows
them an axe and a woodpile.
CLERGYMEN, like brakemen, do a
good deal of coupling.
JOHNNY, you said Sally kissed you,
Did you kiss her back ?'' No,
kissed her face"
WHEN couple go aboard on their
bridal tOnr, could you call it a marry
time excursion?
As the young lady remarked about
the infant: How sweet, but how
bald for one so young"
"No pains will be spared" as the
quack said when he sawed off a pa
TENTS finger to cure felon.
1T is no longer the bully boy with q
glass eye, but the bovine gentleman
with the crockery optic.
"MA, look at the angel store" sig
nificantly remarked little girl as she
passed the marble store.
THAT was dainty young Boston
swain who addressed his inamorata
thus: "Bewitching d-sel."
AN Irish lover remarks: "Its a
very great pleasure to be alone espec-
tally when your sweetheart is wild
YEP
On child being told that he must
be broken of bad habit, he naively
replied: "Papa, hadn't 1 better be
mended 2"
sTHAT portable stove saves half the
fuel" said and ironmonger. Faith,
then, I'll take two of them, and save
it all" replied the customer.
HE provoked me into loving him"
was the pretty girls excuse for en-
gaging herself to man whom she had
always professed to hate.
Young (who is tired of his compa-
N.Y.: "You amt a bit nervous, are
you, Mr.. Post: All my gentlemen
friends start when it strikes twelve"
"GRANDMA, why don't you keep q
servant any longer?" "Well, you see.
my child, Pm getting old now, and
can't take care of one as 1 used to,
you know"