davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The New York herald., 1877-02-11
How to Clean New York city.

We protest against any more experimental
that do not provide for the placing Of
the entire control of that work in the hands
of responsible public officer. We have
already tried every system that could be ap-
piled by health boards, police departments
and bureaus through the agency Of special
contractors and corps of street sweepers and
cartmen directly employed by these author
tiles. Failure has followed all attempts
hitherto made to secure clean streets
because of the shortcomings Of officials
who were in no way responsible to the peo-
pie and who held their positions by virtue
of special legislation. A like failure will
undoubtedly attend all future efforts unless
they are directed and controlled by some
one in whom the public can place implicit
confidence as to his integrity and from whom
strict accountability can be exacted.
majority of the Assembly Committee on
Cities has reported favorably on measure
which purports to provide remedy for the
evils that threaten to brand New York as the
dirtiest city in Christendom. But, judging
from our past and present experiences, no
beneficial result can possibly follow the
enactment Of such law by the Legislature.
Our machinery Of government by COM
missions instead of being useful to public
interests has become powerful engine Of
political power that is constantly coming
into collision with public rights. Letting
the cleaning of the streets to contractors
under the old Health Board and the Street
Department failed utterly in its object be-
cause the officials never enforced the strict
letter of the contracts. The system of the
present Street Cleaning Bureau of the Po-
lice Department has proved to be as rotten
as it is inefficient because, with discredit-
able administration and the utter irrespon-
sibility of its officials the Bureau is practi-
cally independent of any control, and,
therefore, defies public opinion. II, with
large annual appropriations and unlimited
powers, the Bureau has hitherto failed to give
us clean streets, how is the mere subdivi-
sion of the city into districts and the clean
ing of the streets by contract under the
same authority going to effect any improve
plan would simply strengthen the political
engine which has kept the Police Depart
ment so long independent of all control or
interference. We are now beyond any ques-
ton fortunate in having an honest Mayor OF
New York. But we do not know whether he
will prove capable one or not, and the best
way to test his executive ability will be to
charge him with the duty and responsibility
OF giving us clean streets. Let Mayor Ely
be clothed with the fullest powers to organ
ize as he deems best an efficient system OF
street cleaning, but let him also be held
strictly responsible for its success. BY no
other means can we ever secure clean streets
in New York except by concentrating all
authority relating thereto in the person Of our
responsible Chief Magistrate.
The New York herald., 1877-02-11

The CONFERENCE between citizens and city
officials resulted in general interchange of
opinions. The Mayor volunteered reduction of
his own salary and believed the bureaus under
his control could be managed for ten per cent
less money than at present; the Comptroller
could not see how further retrcnchment could
be made in his department, and tho
heads Of the Police Department. Bureau
nj Charities and Correction, Board of Education,
Department of Parks and that Of docks were of
the same opinion regarding their own offices.
Senator Morrissey declared that onehalf the de-
partments might be abolished or merged with
others, they having been originally created
10 comply with selfish political requirements in
stead of to serve the public welfare. The end is
not vet
The New York herald., 1877-02-11

The BOARD OF EDUCATION is to prepare bill,
to be submitted to the Legislature, allowing the
transferring Of money from one account to an
other. If the bill passes it is to be hoped that q
ventilation" account will be opened ut once, and
that school children will be permitted to breathe
mir at least as good as that of the Tombs cells OF
apy ordinary livery stable.
The New York herald., 1877-02-11
DO,ningtog.

WALL STREET YEsTERDAY.-The stock market
was dull and irregular. There was further de-
cline of 3ls in New Jersey Central in which stock
the largest transactions were made. Government
and railway securities were steady. The bank
statement shows decrease Of So, ,442, 900.
Money was easy at from 2 a per cent, with
best prices at a 212 per cent. Gold opened at
1858, rose to 1O6 and closed at 1855.
The New York herald., 1877-02-11

The EXCUSE OFFERED for the formation of a
new coal combination is that in no other way can
the decline in coal stocks he arrested and the re-
cent losses made good; but why consumers OF
coal should be made to supply the money for
these purposes is one of those things that no fel
low can find out.
The New York herald., 1877-02-11
HEROISM REWARDED.

OTTAWA, Canada. Feb. TO- 1871
The Department OF Marine and Fisheries have pre
cured a valuable gold watch for presentation TO Cap
ain Osborne, Of tho American bark c. Y. Jayne as
okcn OF appreciation Of heroic bravery IN rescuing
the crew Of thewyeckcd British ship Bethlehem.
The New York herald., 1877-02-11
QU ADRUPLE SHEET,
NEW YORK, SUNDAY, FEBRUARY II, 1877.
NOTICE TO COUNTRY DEALERS.

The Adams Express Company special newspaper
the Pennsylvania Railroad and its connections
leaving jersey City past four NJ daily and
sunday carrying the regular edition of the HERALD far
West as Harrisburg and South Washington, reaching
Philadelphia quarterpast six A. NJ. and Washington
\ nne NJ
The New York herald., 1877-02-11

The Cross OF LOVE has just cost prominent
firm fifteen hundred dollars, the object of their
affection having been fcrocous Siberian blood
The New York herald., 1877-02-11

From oar reports uis morning the probabilities
are that Me aceather IN New York today ,ciA be
naymer and clear or partly cloudy, possibly NTH
morning fog
The New York herald., 1877-02-11

ALDERMAN Donovan, of Brooklyn, is second
only to Justice Bradley as Warwick; taxpayer.
should do the handsome thing by him.
The New York herald., 1877-02-11

The GENTLEMEN who have bought Western
Union SO industriously have no more idea of
forming q pool than the little boy in his neigh
boris apple tree had Of stealing fruit.
The New York herald., 1877-02-11

RYAN AND OscHwALD, under the shadow Of
the gallows, are at last reposing their hopes i'll a
power that legislatures hinder as seldom as they
The New York herald., 1877-02-11

THE CITY is still in trouble by lack of gen.
eral dumping ground. Why not try Albany! If
the garbage and ashes were heaped about the
new State Capitol so as to hide it from view the
State would save millions.
The New York herald., 1877-02-11

If THE TRENTON PoTTERs are so fond of
''striking" why not strike those of their own
number who annoy worxnen who have re-
entered the pottcries! brickbat would be the
proper thing to do the striking with.
The New York herald., 1877-02-11

THE JUVENILE GUARDIAN SOCIETY threatens
to fight; may the best man win
The New York herald., 1877-02-11

The POLICE COMMISSIONERS have certainly beer
reading the HERALD; witness the reform ordered
yesterday.
The New York herald., 1877-02-11

ANOTHER ILLICIT DIsTILLERY gone; fortu-
nately no election day is near at hand.
The New York herald., 1877-02-11
ADJUSTMENTS TOMORROW.

EIBLO's GARDEN.-ARoUsp TIA WORLD
OLYMPIC THEATRE. ROUND THE cLoox-
BOwERY THEATRE-PiauE
BROOKLYN RINK.-PArrS sKArIEc-
GRAND OPERA HoUsE-TWE Two osrsAss
BOOTHS THEATRE. .-FlrIH AvEso.
NEW YORK AQUARIUM.
GERMANIA THEArRE.-DEn LUsrrcE-PRAra
PARK THEATRE---our BoARpIsc HorsA
FIFTH AVENUE THEATRE-LExoss
CHIcKERING HALL-coScEsr.
wALLACK's THEATRE.-wiLD OATS.
THIRD AVENUE THEATRE.-Two ORPHANS
BROADWAY THEATRE.-oUR BOYS.
UNION SQUARE rHEATRE.-THE pAycHErrs
EAGLE THEATRE-AixgE.
SOCIETY OF PArNTERs.-wArER CoLoRA
ACADEMY OF DEsIGN.-wArER coLows
sTADr THEArRE-UxpzR THE GAsLIcnr
EGYPTIAN HALL-sESsArioSAL vAEiErY.
PARTISAN VARIETIES.
COLUMBIA OPERA HOUsE.-vARnrv.
THEATRE COMIQUE.-yARIErY.
TONY PASTORS THEATRE --vAnHrr.
TIvOLI THEArRE--vARIErY.
SAN FRANCISCO MINsrRELs.
KELLY Icons MINsrRELs
NEW AMERICAN MUSEUM.
HELLER's Neutrality-suspicious.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05
How Leonard Growers Play was
SDOiled.

One of the main features OF the
performance was a brass bound box
that played very important part
in the play. This box | had in
structed the property man to Put
on a sideboard during the second
act. He evidently forgot, and the
result was the characters were talk
ing of and pointing at box that
wasn't there. DESTROYS of making
up for the omission, he put the box
on q table in the very centre OF the
stage during the third act, and the
audience found two of the charac-
ters seated at this table Offering
untold wealth for the recovery of the
box that lay between them. The
audience enjoyed this scene, which
/ meant to be very dramatic, huge
ly.
But this act was nothing to the
fourth act. Here the villain had
TO cast the box into the river that
ran before him, and then throw the
heroine of the play after it. Of
course the real heroine sank down
on floor, and the villain threw a
dummy into the boiling waters,
The property man tried to outdo
himself on this dummy. He had
evidently measured the material
right, but stuffed it so full that he
stretched it to perfect colossus
arms outstretched, even the fingers
being so stiff that nothing could
bring them down to o resemblance
4 to a human being. When the
scene with the dummy came it tow
cred some two feet above the head
of the murderous villain, but he
tackled it valiantly, and, after a
, deadly struggle, dashed 1t into the
raging waters,
But he threw IL too far, IL stuck
on a set piece and remained there
arms outstretched, and fingers rigiC
with stufiing, while the whole au
, dience burst into a roar Of Taught
er. When the villain obeyed hi
cue and spoke Of having "hid
} den her forever beneath the swif
. running river" the dummy still
r stuck In the same position ant
: another shout went mp from thu
audience.-Dramatic Weekly.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05
Marrying by kissing.

At Big Creek, Arkansas, they
have peculiar fashion which some
times proves embarrassing. AS
there is no preacher within twenty
miles, the way for marrying is by
kissing across table. Recently a
New York drummer was out there.
He put up at a private house, and
became quite intimate. One even
ing he was fooliDg round one of the
girls, when she gave his whiskers a
pull and ran. He followed. She
got the table between them. lie
chased her round it several times.
When out of breath he stopped on
the other side, and making a wild
plunge, he caught her in his arms
and kissed her. She then sat down
on the sofa, and they talked pleas
antly for a couple Of hours-he
thinking it singular that she should
sit up so late.
At last she said: "Don't you
think it's about time we went to
bed %
81 guess you are right" he re-
marked "let's GO"
She lit o candle, and he was
about to do the same, when she
said: 81 reckon ones enough.
One candle will light two folks to
bed"
"Undoubtedly it would, when
those two people occupy the same
room. But your candle won't IL
lume my chamber"
"Ain't we going to occupy the
same room! Amt we married p
"Ain't we what 2" shouted the
gentlemen.
married! Didn't you kiss me
across the table? That married
u.s."
A cold sweat spread over the
drummer. He knew that if he
said he wasn't married to her she
would make an outcry, and then
her loving and much-tobacco-con-
suming father would rise in his
wrath and carve him into outlets,
and her brothers would bring down
their shot-guns and empty the con-
tents into him. He must be strag-
etic. He must put her off. So he
said:
.'Fairest of your sex, permit me
to remark that | did not know that
kissing across the table constituted
a marriage ceremony. But l am
who so completely hllod my idea,
of beautiful, sweet, loving ano
modes st women. However, | woulc
never think of holding you to this
marriage until l asked the permls-
sion of your father to pay my al
dresses to you. Tomorrow, a
dinner, when the entire family are
present, l will propose for your fai
} hand"
This satisfied the lady, and, afteI
bestowing upon him fervent kiss
she went to her room and he wen
to his. He packed his carpet bag
took off his boots, and made track
for the nearest railroad station
He didn't feel entirely safe until h.
, reached st. Louis. lie hasn't III
formed his wife of this little al
: venture. He's afraid she nigh
write out to Arkansas for the fact
in the case, aud then he might b
arrested for higamy. Women some
times won't listen to reason, yo
know.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05
Cheap Guns for the People,

Double Shot Guns. from a. TO $50. prccch
Iosding Shot Guns, from s2S 10 sl50. Single
Shot Guns all kinds, s3 to s25. Rifles, Muzzle
and Breech loading, Single and Repeating, !, Is
and "a shooters. Revolycrs, 8, 9 and shooters,
Good. sent by Express c. o. D., with privilege
10 examine Price list tree Address, GREAT
WESTERN GUN WORKS, PITTSBURGH, Ia
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05
A valuable reference book for everybody.
ZELL'S Encyclopedia,
DICTIONARY AND
EAXETTEER.

T., Els dictionary Of language. II con-
guuge with its derivation and defini-
tIon.
T.. Els a Biographical Dictionary. II has
sketch of every noted person of all
ages, many Of them with portraits.
T.. Els a complete Gazetteer. II has a de-
scription of every country, sea, river,
mountain, town, ctc., in the world.
d. Els n Medical Dictionary. II contains
description OF discusses remedies, in-
strumcnts, surgical operations, etc.
Z. Els a History OF the world. II contains
description of the migration of races,
the progress of the nations, their GUS
toms, laws, religions, etc,
Z. Els q complete Natural History. II de.
sCribcs AL the animals, birds, insects,
fishes and reptiles,
T. Els u complete work on Botany. II de-
Scribcs every plant and flower, vege-
table and tree; with their properties,
uses, etc.
L. Els q complete work on Mechanics. IL
describes all new inventions, engines,
machinery, tools, etc.
ZE.-is n complete Church History. II
gives, impartially, the various divi-
siOns Of the church of all ages.
T.. Els equal TO a whole library of works.
II describes every material or nOn-ma-
terial thing that Is capable Of descrip-
ton in the language.
=. Els well illustrated. IL contains nearly
three thousand cngravngs of persons,
unimals, plants, trees, flowers, ma.
chimes, buildings, etc, and eighteen
splendid maps, accurately engraved
from the latest surveys and discoy.
cries, and beautifully cOlOred.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

Glass eyes, as a general thing
are not real-eye able.-N. York
Weekly.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

IL O a, <eys not easily earned in these times,
" 4 4 but 1t can be made in three months
4 hy any one of either SEX in any
sJk Z part of the country, who is willing
NJ 3 70 work steadily at the employment
we furnish. sGG per week in your
own town. You need not be away from home
over night You can give your whole time to the
work, or only your spare moments. We have
agents who are making over $50 per day. All
who engage at once can make money fast. At
the present time money cannot be made easily
and rapidly at any other business. IL costs MOTH
ing 20 try the business Terms and s5 outfit free.
Address at once, II. HALLETT Co., Portland,
Ne. 3llyl"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

The butter-workiDg artist who
produced the "Dreaming Iolanthe"
is now at work or another figure,
to be called "The Coming Man"
A boarding house victim suggests
that it should be called "Sampson,"
but we believe Simpsons strength
was dependent upon his hair
Worcester Press.
So does buffers sometimes
Detroit Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

The Turkish ship of state is hard
up Port.-P. |. Man.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05
ADVERTIsING RATES.

Business Cards one year, one dollar for every
line.
Local Notices, ten cents per line each insertion,
and all notices continued for three months or
longer, discount OF % per cent.
Advertisements unaccompanied by written or
verbal directions will be published three month 8
Advertisements, under contract ordered out be-
fore expiration of time viii be charged full rates.
No paper discontinued until all anearages are
paid, except az 'he option Of the publisher.
Transient advertisements must be paid in ad-
vance.
No Terms, CASH, payable quarterly.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

It's a wise child that knows its
own pap.-N. Y. Hearld.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

A little boy of Des Moines, Iowa,
who writes to his "fren Jimmy"
that he is going to run away from
school and be an editor, thus closes
his letter: "Tel yer sister Katey
| don't hav nothic moar to do with
that Jinks girl, an ] ain troo to her.
I won't git prowd and forgit her if
l do be an edytur, nor you neeth-
er, Jimmy, if your foxes is poor an
onery. Yores Truley, Johnny"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

In spite of the sneers of bach
elors marriage is the rite thing
Lowell Courier.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

"See here, Parker, what's the
difference between a ripe water
melon and a rotten cabbagei" ask
ed one letter carrier Of another,
the other day.
you've got me there. / don't
know" he returned, with a look
more puzzled than an illiterate man
at cross roads guideboard.
"Then you'd be a mighty nice
man to send after watermelon,
you WOULD remarked the quizzer
rs he moved on.-Cincinnati Break
last Table.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05
Mnyhcw Business College,

Detroit. conducted by Hon. Ira Mayhem, form
crly state Superintendent Of Public instruction,
deserves especial mention, Young men desiring
A busipess education will find the advantage;
here offered the most perfect possible" Centen'
NAL Pamphlets and circulars sent on application
IRA MAYHEM, LID, Detroit, Mich.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

"Pshaw ~ said a young lady Of
musical taste, passing certain
church Sunday night, where an in-
competent organist was torturing
the instrument, ''it's enough to
make that congregation all SO
wicked just to imagine their or
ganist having harp in the New
Jerusalem and being entitled to
play on it,"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

Learning the ropes is of no ad-
vantage to a man after he has been
hung.-N. o. Picayune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

A Scotch Bailie thus excused
himself for breaking an engage
ment: 81 couldna come, you know
canna be in twa places at once.
am not ampheebious."
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

It is now believed that the fixed
stars were placed so far away in
order that the patent medicine man
couldn't get there to paint on the
rocks.-Bridgeport Standard.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

The great advantage about a lean
wife is that you don't have to call
in carpenter every time she falls
down stairs. .-Easton Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05
Mayhem Business College.
"The Most Perfect Possible"

The u. s. Commissioners Report classes Bust
ness Colleges among the "uscful institutions of
the country, and says; "0no OF them, the
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

The Franklin Patriots tooth
hurty gait to the dentists is not
much wickeder than this special
distortion of the GLASGOW Times
awe thought it bad enough in Ken
tucky to have tax to pay on a
fellows head, but we notice in the
Missouri papers great complaint
about back taxes"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

"New burglar alarm" What
we need, though, is something that
will alarm the old burglar.-Cin-
cinnati Saturday Night.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

A Kentucky inn-keeper offers to
entertain eloping couples at half
price. He can afford to, provided
the two have been made one.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

There is no truth in yeast. Once
crushed to earth it will not rise
again.-New Orlearns Picayune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

1t has been remarked of Chi
cago couple, 1.-TWO souls with but
single thought-how to get rid of
each other"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

A sergeant in the Bararian army,
who was recently discharged on ac
count of lung disease, was in the
habit of drinking twenty quarts OF
beer a day. We don't wonder his
lungs were afflicted; he must have
spent about half his time holding
his Observation-Disclosures Hawkeye'
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

When q man returns home at
night and kisses his wife with more
than ordinary tenderness, she may
be pretty certain that he has been
i'm Observation-Disclosures Miller.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

Somebody has sent to this Office
n tract entitled: "What it is TO
be Damnedw Such things are
useless to newspaper men. All of
the profession who have been any
length of time engaged in it are
very well aware what it is.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

"Will you please insert this
obituary noticeg' asked an old gen
tleman of a country editor. 81
make bold to ask it because | know
the deceased had a great many
friends about here who would be
clad TO hear of his death"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-12-05

"He waived his adieux," as the
country editor remarked of sub
scriber who had skipped out over
night, leaving his creditors in the
lurch.-New York Commercial Ad-
The Morning herald., 1877-12-20
POLITICAL NOTES.

H. Wales Lines, Republican, was re.
elected Mayor of Meriden, Conn.,, . large
majority.
The Legislature of California elected
J. T. Farley United Senator by strict party
vote in each house.
It is reported that ex-senator Hitchcock,
of Nebraska, is to be appointed Consul
General at Paris, vice General Torbert,
whose commission expires in January next.
At the city election at Watertown, N. T.,
on Wednesday last, John G. Streeter, Dem.'
was elected Mayor by 80 majority, and John
L. Phelps, DEM, Chamberlain by IL majoIi
ity, The Board of Aldermen stands five
Republicans to three Democrats.
The Morning herald., 1877-12-20
THE COFFEE TRADE.

A special despatch from Clncinnatti is as
follows: Recent developments regarding
the troubles between the coffee dealers of
this city and New York show that the tide
of trade is turning very rapidly to the
South. Your correspondent, in an inter-
view with the dealers to-day, learned that
at least one-half of the coffee purchased for
this market is now bought in Mobile and
New Orleans, and that these markets, are
rapidly growing in favor. The dealers say
they can buy more cheaply in the South,
from the fact that those ports are nearer to
Rio, and also that they there buy direct
from the importers, saving the percentage
formerly paid to New York jobbers. The
St. Louis and Pitts burg dealers arc also
buying largely in the South now. The fact
that these three points annually buy over
800, ,O00bags of coffee makes this matter of
considerable interest to the dealers of the
South.