The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1877-08-02
PLE4S4NTRIES.

A TURTLE dies hard, especially the up
per part of him.
A CLUMSY man with big feet is the
greatest train -wrecker a lady knows of.
SUMNER hotels are open, and fy-fish-
ing has commenced the butter dishes
and milk-iugs.
WHATEVER may be said of woman's
right to vote and legislate, her right to
bare arms is unquestionable.
"DUTY before pleasure" as the GUS
tom-house officer said when he lighted
upon some smuggled tobacco.
LAW is like sieve; it is easy enough
to see through it, but one must be con-
siderably reduced before he gets through.
THERE are lots of men besides drown
ing ones who catch ut straws when
they have sherry-cobbler at the other
end.
CoNTR1BUToR-'sWh have you not
inserted my last article? Was it too
long 2" Editor" No, it was too mar
row."
FROM a tombstone in Cornwall, En-
gland
Father and mother and
Lie buried here asunder
Father and mother lie buried here,
And L lie buried off yunder.
A GENTLEMAN was observed one day
displaying a very thin pair of legs IN
knickerbockers, when one friend re-
marked to another that those calves
must have been taken away too soon from
their mother"
LANDLADY (to boarder who has passed
bis cup six times): "You are very fond
of coffee, Mr.. Smith" Mr. Smith
eyes, ma'am, it looks as if [ was when
I am willing to swallow SO much water
for the sake of getting little.
CALL in the days work. Gigantic
footman Did you ring, ma'am p
Tender-hearted and impulsive lady
eyes, Thomas. You see this poor kit
ten the children have found It is
motherless Get some milk, Thomas
New like its mother and feed it I'-
Punch.
FASHIONABLE entertainments for the
week." Going to the Throat and Ear
ball, Lady Mary?' "No; we are en-
gagged to the Incurable IDIOTS "Then
perhaps may meet you at the Epileptic
dance on Saturday." "Oh, yes, we are
sure to be there. The Epileptic stewards
are SO delightful l''-Ponch.
AN old Marquesen chief, on being told
by missionary that in heaven there was
no war, or hunger, OF thirst, or sickness,
or death, replied: "That will be good
place for towards and lazy folks, who
are afraid to fight and too lazy to climb
bread-fruit and cocoanut trees
't I USED to coast once myself, was
the remark of a suburban gentleman,
who made no objection to the proper use
of his premises by polite and well-be-
haved boys delighting in sleds. This is
as good as the remark of conductor to
an aged lady: "Don't hurry, ma'am;
we've all got to be old sometime
BETWEEN new made lovers "Then,
Adelgitha, you will be mine?" "Yes,
Ferdinand, if pa is willing. [ always do
what he wants me to- "But will he
give his consent % 'He will. Pa al
ways does what I want him to-" Ferdi-
nand in his rupture makes Adelgitha
tItIk that her corsets are mile too
- ge for her.
THE following "poem" was found by
| ore of the Chicago Grain Inspectors IN
a car of corn bound for South America,
| out of which a tramp was bounced
/ Kind friends u viii pity my horrible tale
inc an object that's needy and looking quite STALL
| i gave up my traid selling rights patent pills
| go hunting gold in them dreary black Hills
! SO don't go pray tnee stay if u can
/ from that quare city that's known as shy ann
| for the old spotted tails or caInanche Bills
| viii scalp you in syte of them dreary black Hills
| the round house IL shyann is filed evry mite
with tramps of all kinds and colors in site
no close on their backs and in their pockets no bills
but still they are striking for them dreary black
| Hills.
| now when got dar gold could ind
| and thot of the free lunch left far behind
| through heat and through cold nearly froze
gilIs
| they call me the orphan Boy of the Black Hills
| SIGNED SrrRGIs BuRSE bound for South America