Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-08-20

OoA1o1 WILL -ufG.
The bereaved husband read it over
carefully, and finally gave sigh of
satisfaction.
That's all right" said he, handing
over the required specie, "but I s'pose
you could put verse on the end, couldn't
you %
"Well, yes,'' ruminated the clerk, 81
guess so; what kind of verse do you
want?"
"Sumthin' tender like and sorrowful.''
"How would this do ?" asked the clerk,
scratching his head with the end of his
penholder.
A perfect female folks did consider her;
She's gone and left weeping widowerl
"That's kinder melancholy" reflected
the stranger, "but reckon it's leetle-
jest a leetle-too personal. Jest you try
again. l don't mind putin up hansum
for sumthin' that'll rake folks heart
strings"
The clerk gazed at the ceiling for
moment, and then suggested:
The husbands lost wife,
The children ma.
Died on Friday night
From the lockjaw
eyes" broke out the mourner, wiping
his nose on a black bordered handker-
chief, "but 1 don't own any young 'uns !"
"What do you think of this, then?
She always was contented,
At life she'd never carp.
Gone to be an angel
And play on golden harp.
"Don't believe that'1 suit. You see,
Marier couldn't even play on a pianner,
an l know a harp would stump her,
sure. Poor woman she had a tender
heart, though, and made the most ele-
CANT biscuit you ever saw
Hanged if [ won't have to charge
you extra '' growled the clerk. 81 amt
Longfellow or Tennyson."
81 know" meekly replied the "weepin'
widower." "Jest try once more, won't
you?"
So the clerk did try, and at last
ground out the following:
On earth could not stay Marier
So she died and went up higher.
"Sorter irreverent, ain't ?" anxious
ly asked Marier's relict. 81 reckon |
wouldn't grudge couple O dollars for
bang-up verse;"
Thus stimulated, the machine poet
became suddenly inspired and exultingly
produced:
Cry for Marier.
Alas she is more
Joined the singing seraphs
On the other shore.
The afflicted one uneasily took chew
of tobacco and whispered, Beautiful!
But here's one thing that spiles it, Marier
hadn't any more melody in her than an
old plow, and it's deliberit lynn to speak
of her as a vocalist. None of them other
syrups (seraphs) you alluded to could
keep time with her."
"Well," thoughtfully remarked the
discounted Wood, ''if this amt all O.
K, you'll have to hire special poet
I'm played out y
Afiicton sore
Long time she bore,
Physicians were in vain
Lockjaw ketched her.
Death it fetched her.
Gone-to rise again.
"Tell you what" enthusiastically ex-
claimed the widower, "that's tip-top.
Here's your two dollars, you've airnt
them. A young man that can make up
sich afectin' lines as them has a glori-
Gus futur before him !''
And squeezing the exhausted poets
hand, the elated speaker left in search
of pair of black kid gloves.
MAoMAHoN's OPINION OF GRANT.-A
Paris correspondent reports Marshal
MacMahon as expressing great admira-
tion for Gen. Grant, of whom he said in
recent conversation:
"When 1 think of it, the vast number
of troops brought into action under the
command of General Grant as the chief
of the army is very amazing, and par
ticularly SO when they become such ex-
cellent troops in such little while, I