The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1877-03-09
THE DEcAY1D POLITICIANS RsfREAr.

to give you an account of my visit to one Of
the mcst admirably organized and best ad
ministered charities on the face of the earth
The Decayed Politicians Retreat is, rs you
know, beautifully situated on Saline river,
about six miles from here Being detained
in this village over yesterday by business,
j took advantage of the holiday to drive
thither with friend, and was kindly re-
ceived by the Superintendent, Gen. Butler,
who went 60 a good deal Of trouble to show
me the interior workings of the institution
.'Thc selection of this site was fortunate" /"
said Gen. Butler, as he led the way across
a beautiful lawn from his private house to
the lsrge brick building occupied BY the
inmates. "The lovely natural scenery does
much to soothe disappointment and alay
remorse, and there's always fresh breeze
blowing up Saline river"
care your wards coatcntcd as general
thing"
"Some of them are positively cheerful"
said the Superintendent with enthusiasm.
"And you, General ? After your some
what active career, don't you find it rather
tedious at the Retreat, cooped up with
party of relics p
80, l am satisfied" said Gen. Butler,
smiling grimly and shaking the large bunch
of keys that he carried in one hand
"When Jones of Nevada left all his money
for this object, little more than three
years ago, and the trustees invited me to
the post OF duty, | came like man and
patriot. Comme ,je houUe sir, is my motto"
BY this time we had reached the heavy
oaken door at the main hall of the asylum
Our conductor raped smartly with his
" knuckles.
Chow many outside ?" asked voice from
within
''Threc," replied Gen. Butler
The door slowly swung open and Il tall
man with long red beard stood to let us
pass in.
"Good morning, Mr.. Ferry" said the
Superintendent, pleasantly, 81 wish you a
happy Fourth ofJuly."
"Onc Two Threc!" said Mr.. Ferry in
an impressive voice, telling us off with his
fore-fngcr. "All right, gentleman, you can
walk in. Oh, good morning, General |
wish you great many"
eve keep him here to open the door, "ex-
planned Gen. Butler, "and he imagines he
has the right to count as we'll as to open n.-' !
In all other respects he is perfectly harmless,
and so we humor him a little. It's the only
satisfaction he has in life now"
The General led the way through long
corridor, and as he stopped to unlock 4 door
anil h n.,,N
ask ed permission to say few words in pri-
vatc.
"Wcll, speak up, George" said Butler.
"Who has been sitting on you know !"
"lf you please, General said Boutwell,,
for it was none other than the great but
unapprcciatcd financier, "nobody has been
sitting on me, sir. But | have solved the
problem at last, and want leave of absence
to so to Washington and lay my solution
before Congress"
''Solved what problem George ?" asked
the General, winking at us.
"The problem of silver resumptiod, Gen
eral,' replied Inmate Boutwell,. at is very
simple when you see it. Will you permit
me to explain ?"
"I'll give you just minute and Il half,
George" said the General looking at his
watch.
"You see there arc from million
and quarter to Il million and half teeth
ing children in the United States per-
haps two million. Now every blessed one
of EN- has to have Il silver dollar to bite
on. If you pass a law Withdrawing this
immense sum from use in the process of
dentition, silver will flow into the national
Golfers, will find its way into the natural
channels Of trade, confidence will be re-
established and"
"All very good, George" interrupted the
General, "but what is going to become Of
the babies You can't teeth them on green
backs. Don't you Ste that if you withdraw
their silver dollars, the entire rising gene
ration will be unable to masticate, conse-
,quently there won't be any market for beef,
corn, or chewing tobacco, and the deuce will
be to pay in trade circles generally. 1t
won't wash, George"
IL didn't think of that point, General"
said the retired fnancicr, taken little
aback
"No, George, you didn't" continued the
Superintendent. "Iou had better 90 to
your room and think the whole matter over
again and when you have devised some
way of obviating the difficulty spoke Of,
why then well talk about leave of absence
to go to Washington"
"Now," continued the General, as Inmate
Boutwell, moved rather ruciully away, "Pll
show you our oldest case, the ccntcnarian Of
the establishment" We entered little
Al, e L.: ,:.l