National Republican., 1877-03-08
An ENCOUNTER ~ THE DARK.
Major NcCabe's Battle with Coal scuttis.
Some General Remarks Upon Coal seu

Major NcCabe's Battle with Coal scuttls-
Some General Remarks Upon Coal seut-
ties.
There are few things about house more trou.
blesome In their nature than a coal scuttle. some
families keep only one coal scuttle, but that one
In the course OF a day will manage to travel all
over the house. The washwoman will stumble
over 1t in the kitchen, and, gritting her teeth,
give II q Jerk which sends II with q rattle Into
the back yard. The grocery boy, with a big
basket on his head, will get his feet tangled up
in 1t, and fall sprawling over tho flower bed
while beeisteaks, Jugs and vegetables will
shower out OF his basket into the ash.barrel
The madame will grow red in the face and de-
mand to know who put that scuttle in the yard
Then she will pick it up, and, hounoing into the
parlor, set II carefully beside the stove. In few
minutes there will be a squalling In the parlor
and when the family rushes In the scuttle will be
found bottom side up, moving about like a turtle,
with the baby under II. Then the Oldest daugh.
ter will want to know who put that scuttls there,
when they ought to know tho baby was In the
room.
Then she will take hold OF II, and, bouncing up
stairs, make 1t rattle and creak out a protest
against such treatment. She will deposit IL In
the back room upstairs. When the father OF
the family goes up stairs and gets hallway into
clean shirt, right in the midst OF the struggle
with the starched linen he will plant his loot
through the handle of the scuttle. He Inevitably
draws his fsot back with considerable energy,
and the shovel ond Of the scuttle flies up and rh pi
him across the shin. Then the proprietor OF the
house grts his teeth and tries to push his head
up through the top Of the shirt. Failing In this,
he moves backward SO as to get q seat on the
edge Of the bed-with tho scuttlo hanging to his
foot. Instead OF striking the bed he tuf back
somersaut over the rocking chair, and the scuttle
seizes the opportunity to wind itself around both
his legs. He splits tho shirt in the middle, and,
sticking his head out through the bosom, grabs
the offending scuttle, and, rushing out into the
hall, sends Il banging down the stairway, aud
screams, Maria, by thunder, If anybody puts
that scuttle in my room again III bust Ii to
pieces. so help me Bob"
The family with whom Major AeCabs Ia board
Ing, on Thirteenth street. has one Of these ubiqui-
tOus souttles 1t Is particularly lively, vigorous
and yindietive. 1t never was uoll-behsved,
decent piece OF stove furniture, and is never hap
pier than when lying In wait for some body with
It's sharp end turned up. The Major generally
comes home late at night, after other folks have
10 himself when the Major cams home last
Tuesday night lie stopped Al the bottom of the
steps and addressed an imaginary cOneourss OF
people.
Then he mounted to the top of the porch. In
two seconds the Major tumbled back down the
steps, and something slammed itself down ansr
him in passion Of gleo. Tho Major screamed
"policer' and the thing cravled upon him. and
mashed his hat down over DIS head. 'Fre! muir
der " yelled the Major, rolling int the gutter
and punching his mysterious assailant with his
hst. whats the matter ?" shouted Mrs. Brown,
the landlady, thrqsting anight.caPped head. out
Kangaroo; it'sa elephant; d-d II know what
It is. HelpW The Major struggled desperately,
and finally gained mastery over the Internal
machine, and sat down upon 1t to keep 1t from
squirmlng.
Two policemen came up when the cries died ont,
and placing the ir arms under the Majors sheul.
s SnUrn sS s nj aTSg IS S1 mil niS re house
the stoop.n "Id kill tho gploot II knew him, -
muttered the Major, and lie was put TO bed, and
the lsndiady sat up for the rest OF the night max.