The Tipton advertiser., 1877-04-12
SOLEMN FACTS.
Allis peace and unhappiness in Me-

leo.
i White is the favorite hue in Paris
for draperies and trimming.
a company to insure the insurance
companies" is now loully called for.
1 II is "a fair count" when grocer
counts out thirteen oranges for doz-
en-.
II might be well for every man to
insure his own life. Then he'd know
all about the assets.
| America is country that likes al
most any thing better than outside tn-
lterfersnce and suggestions.
| The zephyr of early spring caresses
the cheek Of the Chicago drummer,
but ii has to lie down and rest several
times during the operation.
Blue promotes growth; and that
must have been the reason why old
Bluebeard's wife list increased SO fast.
But the matter came to head at last.
A New York lawyer says that no
man can make will which can stand
at attack from another lawyer and two
or three dissatisfied heirs. Let's all
die bankrupt.
An Eastern jurist noticed the imPro-
priety of the phrase I'VE will ship
your goods" etc.. when the intention
| is to send by railroad, and suggests the
substitution of 1--WE will car your
goods etc.
Two ladies are discussing a third,
whe is absent. ''She is really charm
ing. said one, ''and, above all, she
has such an air OF intelligence, "but
there are no words to that air."
"Did l not give you fiogging the
other day" said schoolmaster to a
trembling boy. "Yes, sir" answered
the boy. "Well, what do the Scrip
lures say upon the subject" II don't
know, sir" said the boy, except it is
in that passage which says "Itis more
blessed TO give than to receive"
Old Ben franklin has level head
for a philosopher. A Massachusetts,
town was named for him, and then
the people wanted him to give them a
bell for their new Westinghouse. He
replied that they ought to think
more of sense than of sound, and gave
them lis books to serve "a the nucleus
of a town library. And most of them
are in the library still.
A stranger went into a fashionable
Chicago church, the other Sunday,
and while there the choir, in swectly
operatic tones, sung that good old
| piece:
Jerusalem, my happy home,
Name ever dear To me.
This was what the choir sung, but
the stranger did not know it. To him
it sounded more like
Rae slams map poue,
Name vahle tumme.
| Iraneneus Prime thinks dancing less
Il
Objectionable than cards--prefers tn,
Reel to the Ideal.
Nature hath its compensations. The
large crop fgrasshoppers out West in
creases the .crop" of chickens.
A child being asked what We're the
great feasts os the Jews, promptly re
piled breakfast, dinner and supper
J Just stop making fun of those peopl,
} who say "e'ectorial." Webster and
: Worcester bo.h sanction it.
Down i'm South Carolina they speal
Of it as "opening new and magniti
cent jail to the appreciative public
Good breeding will tell.
: The man who hasn't observed tina
the last halfof a ton of coal vanishes 81
times as fast as the first half has NJ
business training upa family.
As proof of hard times the Marsha
Of the District of Columbia show
nearly 800 letters from persons begyin,
to be put on juries that they may Civ
their families bread.
Mr.. Evr rts speaks of Rhode ISLAM
:, as the State where the Governor ca
stand in the doorway Of the Executiv
y Mansion ani call the Legislature to
" gether by blowing horn.
Teacher-Nvho was the first martyr
No response. "Who was stoned I
= death." First scholar-"Stephen
y forgot his name Second scholar
:, "Oh. know-Thaideu Stevens
y They are hanging a good many mu
derers around the country just nov
aud it serves 'em just right. One ,
= the meaness tricks in the world is xii
. ing off your fellow men.
Young man, don't waste your tim
l. complaining the world owes you
d living but pull off your coat, fax aboi
g and take the debt out of the world
i hide.
K When man goes over to the 9th
i party he Is treacherous; when he com,
over to ours he shows moral coura re.
John Slevin. of st. Louis, was foun
!, dead in bathroom the other da
Well. thosepeople have time an agai
been warned of the evil results.
ne The best way to stop ranawi
hit horse is to be perfectly calm, see e
~ actly where he is going, and thu
: run around and run the other way.
I'd They are calling General Washin
N ton Dispatches" says the New Yo
% Herald, because they cannot tell
lie." Which is the most collosal falls
hood Of the nineteenth century.
- The Republican of Iowa City Civ
~ an account of an interesting case til
is exciting the legal fraternity al
. others at Iowa City-a suit by o.
:" Mas against the Amana Society,
Iowa CAlnty, and Prof. Heinrichs,
- the State University, to recover pc
session ola meteoric stone, being
,c- fragment of the great 9roIite th
N fell IN February, 1875. The ca
rk is decidedly an unique one, which Il
to lawyers might call sui gcneris. The
| mana ,n r.n,rl l;I,. - f...x, /