The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1877-01-27
VARIETY.


A bankrupt notices with evident relish that
all men have their failiDgs.
The Journal that shifts opinions with every
political wind is paper of tacks.
A gentleman may render assistance to a lone
lady, but while doing so, should say as little as
possible. .
A little boy in Springfield, Mass, after his
customary evening prayer, night or two ago,
continued, ''and bless mamma and Jenny and
Uncle Benny adding, after moments pause,
the explanatory remark, 'his name is Hopkins"
Boston Post: Brace up and have some style
about you," said newsboy to the gentleman
who suddenly sat down on the sidewalk yester-
day. q e-.e ss
In the Orient they wont let fellow see his girl
until the clergyman has tied the knot, and IN
that way poor mother has chance to work off
her erOss-eyed daughters.
Here are some classic names of towns in the
pocket" of Indiana Crowbait, Gabtown, Lick
skillet, Polkpatch, Buckskin, Rear and Charge,
Shoestring, Shanghai, Stretchet, BabytOwn.
It is better to say our 50 Our Father - slowly,
reverently, than many long prayers, uttered with
the lips indeed, but not with the heart, while
the thoughts 60 straying about the four corners
of the earth.
Lowell says The people often make blunders
in their choice; they are apt to mistake presence
help q man rise from the ranks, that they will
spoil good demagogue to make bad General
Nine sewing-machines and fifty ladies were in
Simultaneous operation at q Mt. Upton IN. W
sewing party the other day. They used up forty
eight skeins of thread, ninety yards OF calico, and
every reputation in the city.
Burlington Hatokeye The Senate acted wisely
in deciding not to let the q. 5. Supreme Court
count the Electoral vote. That august body
H,ro bod
it got to it for action oil the present candidates
would he dead.
ssThe Mad Mangler or, the Terror of Muir
derer's Gulch," is the latest dime sensation.
The hero kills twenty Indians at one shot, and
rescues fourteen beautiful Mormon girls, all of
awhom he marries in the Endowment House at
one clip Now let the Centennial youth of
America take courage aa at. - r
s.Where did this baby come from ?" asked
washing the squealing little stranger. Why,
from heaven, of course,'' replied the nurse.
Well, If it screamed like that there, L don't
wonder they sent it off, was the stunning re-
joinder. .E@
A Toronto PAPER has Just disgusted the fash
ionabIe world of that city by inserting mys-
terious paragraph announcing stylish wedding
for given morning. The church was fairly
iammed with aristocracy that crowded to assist
at the nuptials of Pullman car conductor and q
laundress-both colored.
There has been good deal of Scripture quoted
on Gov. Tilden during the campaign, but no
auotation has fitted better than the following,
from the third chapter Of First Samuel SO And
Samuel arose and went to Eli and said, Here am
7. for thou didst call me- And he answered, Il
called not, my son; lie down again. So
Samuel went and lay down in his place.
A story is going round that John Jacob Astor
and A. Il. Stewart met at the river Styx, and had
some trouble with the ferryman about getting
across whereupon Mr.. Stewart advised that they
hold on a little, as Vanderbilt would be there
pretty soon and start an opposition line; then
they would get through cheaper
A CoSsIpERATE MANA day or two before the
Hell Gate explosion, married man called on
General Newton and besought him to give him
front seat for his mother-in-law, regardless OF
expense The old ladY's eyes, he said, were not
very good snd he wouldn't mind how danger
Gus it was so long as he could get her good
place The General, who is married man him
self, shook hands with him warmly and gave him
a pass for two, and the applicant withdrew with
tears in his eyes.
So TuDEN OR A FIGHT 20 said the venerable
Huuker in fierce tones at small gathering yes
terday. IS Oh, very weli," said little man,
busting up TO him; we'll have the fight right
hers and,settle the matter at once. Do you wish
to take off your coat" 90 Sir said the vener-
able Hnnker, wiping some crumbs from his un-
shaved chin, 50 things must be done decently and
in order There must be organisation. sir-or-
1anisation. The troops must be called ont
reg'larly None o yer rough-an' '-tumbles foF
me- Good-day, sir, good-day.' lie went out
hastily and pausing at streetcorner said re-
hectvely, Arter all, it amt best to rush
things.''