The Osceola times., 1877-08-18
FACTS AND FANCIES.
Frysa O'Csyie.

|
| Frysn O'Csyir.
Bryan O'Coyie rw hro'h sv q boy.
lie delighted in tumuli, and sIife vas his JOY.
| Did liver yea hear Of terimDage or broil
10 the thick sv the rucion vas h ynn o'Coyk-
Bryan OCo,ie had pond sv his own;
"clane II cotl" said his friends; said he "IAveh
| alone;
whn the wsther is zone there'ii he piiptv AZ soil.
And foine spot fot p'aises," said bryan oCoyls
bryan 0'C,yles bridge did design,
He built the two inds, hu, the inis wouldn't jiue;
| Whn he .aw the ic nit av his wisdom and toll,
at will wear all the onser." said Bryan Coyle.
Bryan OCoyie he e-tsbli he'd school,
But ,schers and scholars all fed from his rule.
| "Bslsd, I've thrick the dessvep to foil,
" he tachers aud schoiarsi" said Bryan oCoyIs.
Ryan oCoyle builts road through the to~n.
| 10 make us reminder his name and renovn
| Whin wsrad THAT IL hardly scrordng TO Hovle'
IN. acc ,rdn' to mer' raid bcwid Bryan Coyis.
Bryan oC,yle founI his money was splnt
"fm'li that's iocsyf' saii b., nov can't loss
I'll dspInd on me credit to mako the pot boil,
| Aud I'll live on me tax-s" raid Bryan o Cove.
Bersn Itassvtrs.
"LATE for the party, grandhA. How
awfulIy old-fashisned you are. Dor't
you know that nowadays nobody .oes
to party till everybody 10 there?"
NINETEEN times within the last hun
dred years the Russian forces have
crossed the Danube with hostile intent,
without including the present crossing.
"HAvE you ever read about the tsle-
phone ?" was asked OF man In town q
lew days ago. :" spose Ihave," replied
the other, "but really forget whether
he is Russian or Turkish general. Il
is NO hard 10 get the hang OF these foreign
generals"
DEAN SWIFT has found an imitator.
An advocate of Colmar has left 100, ,000f.
to the local mad house. 81 got this
money says the candid lawyer In his
will, "out OF those who pass their lives
IN litigation; in bequeathing 1t for the
use Of lunatics I only make restitution"
HARTFORD folks are 20 scared over hy-
drophobia that they carry rolls OF lunar
caustc in their pockets ready to cauterize
themselves If they are bitten by dogs.
| II is not uncommon to reea citizen with
pants rolled up and caustic in hand
waiting on street corntr Tor mad deg
to 90 by.
| A YOUNG man who was heavily fined
in San Francisco court for kissing his
betrothed against her will, didn't break
up the engagement and demand the re-
turn of rings, pictures and letters. He
simply wrote: "Dear Lydia-You'll
have TO wait till I can borrow money
enough to pay the minister"
A RICH, but parsimonious and very old
gentleman, on being taken 10 task for his
uncharitableness,. said "True, I don't
give much; but II you ouly knew how
1t hurts me when / give anything, you
wouldn't wonder. am in hopcs TO feel
different when I inherit brother Bilrs
property"
AN Irishman who had been sick for .
long time was one day met by the parish
priest, when the following conversation
took place: "well, Patrick, am glad
YOU have recovered. Were you not afraid
TO meet your God ?" ooh, no, your
reverence. 1t was meetin' the other chap
that was afraid ov," replied Pat.
| A PENNSYLVANIA Dutchman, who
married his second wife toon after the
funeral of the fret, was visited with 4
two hours serenade in token of disap.
proval. lie expostulated pathetically
thus: 81 say, poys,you ought tn Be
ashamed of yourselis to be making all
dis noise ven dere vas funeral here 70
soon.'
RossINI, walking one day In Passy
with friend, passed stout street mu-
sician singing to guitar, in most hor'
rible fashion, the sereDade from the
Barber. The composer stopped and gave
the vocalist piece Of money. "What |"
said his friend, astonished, you encour-
age this robust mendicant He has no
infirmity needing pity" "Oh !" said
Rossini, Z" don't you hear the voice with
which he is afflicted p
ONE of our citizens of an ob,erving
and experimental turn OF mind found u
toad upon his doorstep recently, and in
order 10 discover whether IL could hear
well got down upon his knees and made
different noises to test the question. The
toad bore the noise and took part in the
experiments with such untagging good
nature that the inquirer was working up
considerable interest in the matter, when
he happened to look up and found him
self surrounded by crowd Of people who
were speculating among themselves a. 70
whether he was crazy or simply druHk.--
Bridgeport Standard.
A WESTERN Paper suggests, that Eng
| li,h sparrows be turned looee in the West
, to eat the gra'shoprers. This would
= he nice for the splrr'ws and the grass
, hopper., but bad for the farmers. NJ
? sparrow will eat erasshopper or even
, pick s,vcry morseI "tf from him unless
Il has a lsrg, family starving on 80 cents
day. The sparrow, as New f"rkeis
have fund to their grief, is essentially a
seed-cat r. and he declines even the
lendersst bug or the sweetest grub II he
! can get any vegetsble relish. The spar.
: row would robably hing the grssshopper
: in II straight Grat -Roman wrsile, but
/. neither would eat the other except in
: the last etagcs Of famine. II spsrrows
are transplanted to the West they will
I, 90 for wheat with an avidity that will
! I make the grasshoppers stand up on their
!, , hind legs and whistle with amusement
- Graphic