The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-06-09

A citizen wearing sickly smile
turned in at a gate on Randolph street
yesterday, and fifteen minutes later he
appeared in the back yard with his old
clothes on. He backed out of the wood
shed, pulling and hauling and Juggling
at big roll of carpeting, and the voice
of his wife was heard calling out:
Do you want to tear that carpet all
to pieces?" .t ..
He didn't answer her till he had
dragged it under the clothes-l line. Then
he ran a tack into his hand, and jumping
over the roll he shouted:
Yes, l do; and I'll do it, tool"
He didn't, though. The pain subsidized
after few minutes, and the man almost
whistled as he began spreading out the
carpet His wife came out ard sug-
gested that it wouldn't do it any good to
draw it over the wood-pile and through
the heap of old ashes, and he chuckled
with satisfaction when she stuck big
tack into her foot and limped into the
house. Then he was ready to elevate
the carpet and get it over the clothes
line, and he set to work One end went
up very easy, but when it slipped down
very easy the man tried to put the center
up first. He boosted it over the line,
looking red in the face, held 1t there for
a minute and then yelled out:
Mary-somebOdy- hello-helpp No
one appeared, and after a struggle of
half a minute more he let go and got out
of the way way of all but fifteen tacks
He sat down and growled, stood up and
muttered, and then slanted board over
the line and tried to draw the carpet up
the incline.
Genius triumphant~ he chuckled, as
the plan seemed to prove successful, but
the weight snapped the line, and the long
end of the board struck the painting man
on top of the head and mashed him fat
When he got out from under the carpet
and could spit out the dust he kicked the
mass of carpet seven or eight times as
hard as he could, and sat down on an old
barrel and looked sorrowfully around,
and it was ten minutes before he rose up
and slowly secured the broken line. ''7
"rll maui the life right out of this
carpet when l get 'er up!" he growled,
as he walked around it, and, after
furious tug, he got nearly half of it over
the line.
What on earth is the matter?" asked
his wife from the back door.
"I'll matter this carpet in about two
minutes" was his muttered exclamation.
She went out there to pull what she
could, and as he was crawling under the
raised portion to reach the other corner
she heaved away, lost her hold, and he
was enveloped in the folds. Such yells,
and boots, and bowls as that man ut
tered were never heard on that street be-
fore. Every time he kicked he felt tacks
sticking his legs, and as he tried to rise
up they jabbed his back till he couldn't
rest. The wife finally released him,
after long hunt for the right corner,
and he leaned against cherry tree and
gasped OUT 3d..
q" H-haven't you any c-common sense?"
I" AS much as you have, sir! You
ought to have known better than to crawl
under therew 49,.
81 h-had, Ell? Don't go talking back
to me" ,.....
" shall talk all want to-"
"Then t-talk to your ccontounded old
c-carpet!" he shouted, and he made for
the house, jumped into his other suit,
and perhaps left home forever.-rDstroSt
Free Press.