The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1877-08-04
STRATEGY or CouRTsHR.
How to Mako Love and Win Your Charme
from the New York SUM-

nov % Ao1e Low n00 IN A0of Cna1nefs
From the New York SUM-
The proper manner in which to ad-
dress q young lady who has won your
affections is q subject for much serious
and thoughtful consideration. The
business is exceedingly delicate. A false
step at the beginning of the eourtship
maybe irretrievable; q too rude approach
may jar on her fine susceptibilities; a
rough hand may scatter the petals of the
flower of love; yet too deliberate and
composed suitor might outrage the fair
ones sense of what the occasion requir-
ed from him. A nice mixture of ardor
and reserve, timidity and audacity, is
what the swain must display. He must
seize the fit moment, plunge precipitately
in, and, risking all on the desperate
charge, await the issue of victory or de-
feat. He must remember that even
though the girl is prepared to surrender,
she will not come to terms unless he
opens vigorous warfare on her affec-
tons, and displays the intrepid courage
of an indomitable soldier in the ranks
of Cupid. .Is-..-4 is .H 10
1t is required of lover that he shall
be modest regarding his own merits,
absorbed in the pursuit of his sweet
heart, regardful of all her varying
moods and fancies, assiduous in his at
tentions, and quick to interpret her out
spoken thoughts and feelings. To do
this he must think, not Of himself, but
of her; and her transcendent grace and
loneliness must make his own poor
merits seem, by contrast, little better
than actual faults. Once he gets into
this state of mind, the lover begins to
be in a proper condition for prosecuting
his suit, for then he is ready to hazard all
to win so priceless q treasure; not that
he deserves to wear the kohinoOr of his
Imagination, but that his very humility
and consciousness of his lack of desert,
and his determination to keep the jewel
safe forever, may secure for him, as a
free-will gift, the custody of the prize.
If he enters upon the task with cool
self-confidence, thinking he has only to
reach out his hand to pick up
the precious gift of his sweetheart's
love, he is likely to find that his conceit
and impudence have cost him dear, and
to retire discounted from the interview
Girls demand that they shall be won;
they do not stand ready to be taken at
short notice, and by fellows who fancy
that they are irresistible. Such lovers
deserve to be raped severely over the
knuckles; and if they retire from pro-
posing the momentous question, smart
ing severely and deeply chagrined, they
get no pity from us.
A lover who writes from North Caro-
lima is not that sort of fellow, and there
we have given much study to his case,
which we are happy to think is hopeful.
The best way of getting at the facts of
his situation is to print his letter, which
is full, and presents all the data neces-
sary for the forming of an intelligent
judgment. This is the confession of
our North Carolina friend:
SIR-About six months ago formed the
acquaintance Of a beautiful and gay young
lady. was so forcibly struck with her APP
pearance and beauty that could not resist
the temptation to visit her. On my first visit
4 said nothing, but passed the compliments
of the evening. On my second visit l asked
allow me to visit and correspond with her.
My request was granted. In about three
weeks l addressed the following letter to
her:
Miss -: The obligation under which
placed myself by your generous confidence
me to assume the pleasure of opening the
correspondence between you and myself. 1
know not of any lady who ever yet honored
greater regard than yourself; and the agree.
able hours have spent with you can not be
equaled unless they are repeated. When l
with you, it was my fixed resolution to act
with integrity and honor. And, indeed, 1t
would be ungenerOus and unkind in me to ex-
pect any thing else from you in return: Please
for the kind favor from you in granting me
the privilege to visit and correspond.
Respectfully,
In about the same length Of time receiv-
ed the following reply:
Mr. take tie earliest opportunity
of acknowledging the receipt of your letter
of the Sth inst. and the obligations feel to
half. There are many points besides mere
personal regard to be considered; these i
must refer to the superior knowledge of my
such as my presentiments suggest have no
doubt my happiness will be attended to by
permission to decide for myself. hope If my
posed favor OF your alliance it win not produce
such a disuniOn between Us as to deprive ms
of friendship. Respectfully, -.
Questions-First. Do you think the words
kind fayor-were improper? Secondly.
Don't you think that 1t was improper for me
to ask the questions to visit and correspond
both at the same time? Thirdly. Don't you
think that have encouragement:
We fail to see any thing Objectionable
in this amatOry correspondence. On
both sides it is marked by dignity and
reserve, and has certain business-like
character which cOmmends them to
a practical mind. We should say from
reading it that our correspondent would
at least make discreet lover, and the
lady a sweetheart who would not en-
gage in the rhapsodies of love, but would
conduct herself under an engagement
with tho v,oO,,;oito v,ropr;otv Tkoro 10