The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1877-01-19

Ind Nerc,fH Oie ror nee TaH
--JSha q. Hhiaiey.
Probably the sickest man on the
face of the earth is the paragrapher who.
reading his own column, discovers that a
Joke isn't half as smart as he thought il
was when he wrote it.
Water, though well warmed. would
quench, nevertheless, the fire thatwarmed
it. Thus may the character Of q treacb-
erous person be dcrcribed.-FToo, the
iStmskTH
.."Ah," said father to his son
William, "hearty breakfasts kill one-balf
of the world, and tremendous suppers
the other half" "I suppose, then"
retorted William, that the true
livers are only those who die Of hanger"
When tramp asks You for ten cents
Of a SUNDAY il is-4hc bcrt kind Of eviS
.deQce tlat Lie aailiaans...a..A...s;i.ia. a
mind that lager is on tap somewhere IN
the vicinity.
No, bub, We can't remember the
name of the father who first inverted the
art of leading bis son TO expect a pair Of
skates at Christmas and then filed bis
stocking with five cents worth OF pop
corn.
Monsieur reads the paper 20 madame
and cries: "Another crime--a woman
cut into pieces Madame Quickly
"By her husband 2" Monsieur lin
nocently)-" Who else would you ex-
pect?"
In New Orleans, the Republican re-
ports, "Hamlet put on peculiar express
ion, end said, There is something rot
ten in Denmark A small boy in the
gallery exclaimed, Look behind the
scenes; perhaps the gas is escaping.
Ulster oyercoats are all the rage in
Paris now; even ladies wear them. A
gentleman asked n janitcr the other day
Is Mons. Tribout at home ?" Janitor
answered.: 81 really can't say. j SAW
his ulster pass by just now but who was
in it is more than know"
The very latest and most ridiculous
case of the @insaniry plea" has occurred
in San Francisco, where a member Of a
gang of professionai bondsmen, indicted
and tried for furnishing "straw Iail,"
pleaded insanity as areason for signinga
81 900 bond and swearing that he was
worth $4,000.
The late Gen. Bartlett, Of Massachu-
setts, after having been several times
wounded, wrote to the lady Of his choice
releasing her from her engagement, and
it was she who wrote the memorable
words, 'I'll marry you ifthere's enough
left of your body 10 hold your soul" He
lived happily and left five children.
The tomb of Agamemnonl has been
found. We are glad he had a tomb. We
have all along been afraid that sub
scription would have to set afoat for
that purpose The illustrious dead will
alwaysfind ahearty welcome in this coun-
try, if they are well provided with good,
comfortable eonIi's. r /hz-b,s,y l's','s.
There exists in Wurtemberg, with
affiliations in Bavaria and Austria,
branch of the Washington family, which
settled in south Germany long Before
the original Washington crossed the At
lantic. One Of these south Germany
Washingtons, baron Macmillan Won
Washington, is married to a princess Of
the imperial blood of Austria.
The New York board of health re-
CARDS the public funeral Of any person
dying of scarlet fever, diptheria, measles
or whooping cough dangerous TO the
lives ofsuch as may attend who have not
had the disease, and requests families to
limit the attendance TO rs few as pos
sible, and to prevent the presence, so far
as they are able, of those who have not
had the disease Of which the deceased
person died.
Splitting the difference. Minister
(portentously)-"James, this is a very
dreadful thing. You have heard there
is one pound missing from the box"
James (the beadle who is strongly sus-
pected)-'Deed, sir, so they were tellin'
me-" Minister (solemnly)-"James, you
and l alone had access to that box"
,James-'1t's just as you say, sir; it
must lie between Us two An the best
way'll be, ysu to pay the half and I'll
pay the tither, an say ma mair about
n. ~ Punch