The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-10-04

o. en hS1Ei 10 TEFys tS.<ss. -
PuTf1NG up stove IS mot 90 difficult in
itself. J. is the pipe that raises four
fiiths If the mischief and ~ the dust.
You may take down 4stote with all the
care il, the world, end yet that pipe wont
come together again As It was before.
You lind this out when you are standing
on q chair with your arms full OF pipe
and your mouth full of SCOT. Your wife
is standing on the door in . position that
enables her to see you, the pipe and the
marks that are calculated to haste0 man
into the extremes of insanity. Her dress
is pinned over her waist, and her hands
rest on her hips. She has got one Of your
hats on her head, and your linen coat on
her back, and pair of. rubbers on her
feet. There Is about I'VE cents worth of
poi. black on her nose, and lot Of -four
on her chin, and altogether she lie spec
acle that would inspire dead man W it'll
distrust. Andnwhile. you, ara Up there try
ing to cifcumvent she awful contrariness
of the pipes, and telling that you know
|Joenf 3ool hes aaels Mixfng 4, 3 SO stands
safely on the floor and. bombards you with
such. domestic notices as : "What's the
use Of swearing 60 ?, = You know NO one
has touched that pipe, -, You amt got
any more patience than Child. 9 Do be
careful Of that chair" And then she
goes and reappears with an 'armful more
Of pipe, and before you are aware df it
she has got that pipe % horribly mixed
up that It does seem no two pieces are
alike. You join the ends and work them.
to and fro, and to and fro again, and then
vow take them apart and look at them
Then you spread one out and jam the other
together, and mount them once more. But
it issMoHp.el You haginA othihkthe pieces
are inspired with life, and ache to kick
them through the window. But she
doesn't lose her patience. SAe goes around
with that awful exaspefating rigging on,
with length of pipe under each arm
am . long handled BROOM in, sher hard,
and says she dc6't see how &c is that
some people never have any trouble in
putting up q stove. Then you mics
the hammer YOudont see it1vwhere.
You stare into the pipe. along tie msntel,
and down the stove, and a a the floor.
Your wife watches you, and Is finally
thoughtful enough to inquire WhatsY
are looking after; and, OnleoEningy pulls
the article from her pocket Then you
feel a. if you could go out door ed swear
a hole twelve feet square througka block
of brick buildings, but she merely oh.
serves: Why on earth don't you speak
when you want anything, and not stare
around like dummy" When thu part
of the pipe which goes through tie wall
is up, she keeps II up with the broom
while you are making the connection, and
stares at it with an intensity that is en-
tirely uncalled fer. All the while your
position is becoming more and more in
teresting. The pipe don't 60 together, Of
course. The SCOT shakes down into your
eyes and mouth, the sweat rolls down your
face and tickles your chin as it drops of,
and it seems a. if your arnis were slowly
but surely drawing out of their sockets,
Here your wife comes to the rescue by in
curing If you are going to be all day
doing nothing; and If you think her arms
are made of cast-iron; and then the broom
slips off the pipe, and in her endeavor to
recover her hold she jabs you under the
chin with the handle, and the piece comes
down on your head with its load of fried
SCOT, and then the chair Tits forward
enough to discharge your feet, and you
come down on the wrong end OF that
chair with force that would bankrupt
pile driver. You don't touch that stove
again. You leave your wife examining
the chair and bemOaning it's injuries, and
90 into the kitchen and wash your skinned
and bleeding hands with yellow soap.
Then you go down the street after man
to do the business, and your wife goes
over to the neighbours with her chair, and
tells them about the injuries, and drains
the neighbcrhood dry with its sympathy
long before you get home.-Dan6sssv
Nesos. fs3