South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1877-12-14
wIr AND rIU,roH

w @~~< - - - ~FE
Es-A young mother, explaining chris.
tening to her FIVE year old. told him /
that when he was christened he would /
he one of Gods little lambs. And will
have hind legs and baa?" eagerly ask
cd the boy.
" \ school board inspector asked
small pupil Of what the surface consists.
and was promptly answered. Land and
water lie varied the question slight.
ly, that the fact might be impressed on
the boys mind and asked: What then
10 land and water maker" To which
came the immediate response: Mud"
CV>If somebody would write book
on "Our Hired Girl" the whole family
would be represented in literature.
VAn old lady with n large family.
living near river was asked if she did
not.live in constant fear that some of
her children would be drowned. ooh,
no." she replied; 1--WE have only lost
three or four in that way"
sara German was about to make
journey to his fatherland, and wishing
to say good bye to a friend extended
his hand and said, We'll, off | don'd
come back, hnllo.'
PLAYING Cn1cEEN II say, girls"
said little blue-eyed. flaxcn haired boy
on Second street yesterday, ''let me
take your candy and well all play
chicken
rs it nicc?" inquired half dozen
six year olds in chorus.
Mice. you bet it is. Let me show
you. Now you'all 60 down there. and
come up when you hear me call like a
rooster"
The girls retroated and gathered in q
group about fifteen feet off. while the
boy got on lis knees, with his head over
the candy, and began to call and strut,
and flap his arms like Il ROSTERS wings.
"Cluck, clHcIs rat. rat. tap, cluck,"
and all the girls came RAINING up, and
bent to pick up the candy, when the
little fellow opened his mouth, aud took
lin at one gulp.'
ooh, You mean boy" they cried "you
have taken all our candy :"
That's cause played rooster said
the boy; rooster always calls the hens
up when he finds grain OF corn, and
then picks it up himsclf."- Jos,ph
Gazette.
tY"Madame, your fare" said n
Chestnut street car conductor, yester-
day. We'll, don't care if | am" was
the reply OF the lady from the country,
you needn't say so before all these
people"
IJrA lady sent note to the news
paper 20 get a recipe to cure the whoop.
ing cough in pair OF twins. By q mis-
take a recipe for picked onions was un.
consciously inserted, and her name at
tached, and she received this answer
through the Answer to Correspondents >
Mrs. l.. II. BIZ not too young, skin
them pretty closely, immersc in scald-
ing water, sprinkle plcnriruly with salt.
and immerse them for week in strong
brine.
TIA Dutchman once met an Irish
man on lonely highway. As they
met, each smiled, thinking he knew the
other. Pat, on seeing his mistake, re-
marked, with look OF disappointment,
Faith, on thought it was you, an
YOU though, it was me, an its uayther
Of u.s. The Dutchmaa replied "Taw,
dat ish druc; am anoder man, and
you ish not yoursoIf we pc both some
other podies."
tGGooi oil uncle Jaboz said one
cold morning as Inc was hunting for the
mateaos "Whcn [ die / hope I'll 90
where / won. have TO make the fire
every morning" You needn't fret ~
bout shat snapped his vllc. from un-
der ihc blankets. You'll inl The Grc
go really Tor you, never you fear"
~ MAMMA. 400 they uee 70 have
carriage ESQ Jcu s.gms" asked % very
HIc English boy lust from s1njay
school. % dou't know, dear; whye"-
"r.eaasc hoard ODE minister TALKING