, 1877-04-20
RATES OF ADVERTISING
SLINGs AND ARROWS.
BY c. W. PHILBRICK.

II you are out of work go to San
francisco and you will find 10000
others in a condition to appreciate
your condition.
The latest sea serpent appearing
off this coast is two miles long. Why
not say 200 miles long, or 2,000p A
fish story should be FISH story.
THE coming American statesman
is the man who can devise new
plan for electing the President that
shall be accepted by Congress and
indorsed by the people.
THE latest Chicago murder case is
a terrible mixture of spirits, love,
hair, affinity, contracts, Jealousy,
ghosts, lunacy, confessions, perjury,
senility, lust, bumpology, pistols and
gore. sts 9s tfs.3se
YELLOW is the coming fashionable
sensation in society circles, and the
man who doesn't keep his wife and
daughters in trimmings of that shade
must expect that" yeil-oh" will be-
come the fashionable sensation in his
family circle. u 81
A Washington special says South
ern Democrats are depressed and
disappointed, aud another assures US
that Southern Republicans are very
much. disheartened-all over the
Southern policy of the President.
The problem is a depressing, dis
appointing and disheartening one,
but 1t will be solved in time.
THE Colorado Legislature has
abolished the Grand Jury system in
that State, providing in lieu thereof
that the Judge of the County Court
and two justices or the peace Of the
county shall sit as a court of indict-
ment to hear testimony on both sides
of any case brought before them. In
indictments under the Grand Jury
system, the testimony of the prose-
cution only is received. ~ , 1o''-'S
AN Eastern paper suggests that
Packard and Nichols be turned loose
in a foIty acre lot surrounded by q
high fence, and that each be armed
with loaded shotgun and plenty of
ammunition. II the field was free
from stumps OF other distractions, it
is thought that the Louisiana guber-
Material qnestionSlcoald be thus set
tied in satisfactory manner. The
services of a coroner would be more
acceptable to hepublic than board
Of commissioners,and no effort would
be made to go behind the returns.
The President has ordered new
commissions to be issued to 100
Pennsylvania postmasters whose
commissions expired last month,
whereupon Mr.. Don Cameron, the
new Senator, remarked that Presi-
dent Hayes administration would
have no warmer supporter than him
self. Nothing goes to the heart Of
a Pennsylvania Senator with such
force as promptness in commission
ing his postmaster supporters.
PRoF. @. ". RILEH, Who has eaten
grasshoppers cookedin various ways,
asserts that they are very good eat
ing. Roasted, they make an excel
len. pocket lunch, as portable, pail
atable and craunchy as the prevalent
peanut; fried in fresh lard or butter
they areihardIy second to tho oyster
in his esteem, while transformed into
fritters they make a,dish altogether
loothsome, and one that will tempt
the gourmand to linger long and
lovingly over the Aesh-pots. This
discovery, or rather this revival Of
an old taste for locusts and grasshop-
pers, will in the end solve the whole
grasshopper problem without the in
tervention of CongEessor any S25, 600
appropriation, and convert what has
been heretofore regarded as agreat
scourge to the agricultural interests
Of the West into signal blessing.