The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1877-03-09
FACTS AND FANCIES.


TURKEY has five hundred thousand
men under arms.
DAIRYMEN are getting richer than
anybody else in. Wisconsin.
EACH beau plucks a leaf from the CO.
quette so that thorns only remain for the
husband.
The late George Dawson, of England,
said he hated theology and botany, but
loved religion and flowers.
BREcKINRIDGE's elegant house in
Washington was bought by Alfred Lee,
a negro, who deals in feed, and who paid
$40, 900 for it.
IT was Queen Charlotte who said,
al am always quarreling with time; it
is so short to do something, andzsso long
to do nothing"
YOUNG man, don't waste your timesin
complaining that the world owes you
living, but pull off your coat, fax about,
and take the debt out of the worlds
hide.
WOMEN wants to " enjoy all the rights
of man." but we can't see what pleasure
it would afferd her to sit on storebox
on street corner complaining of the
scarcity of labor and squirting tobacco
Juice at a lamp-post. NoTT stolon Herald
A YOUNG fellow who indulges in the
use. of strong drink, says at night he
feels as if he owned all the property in
the world, in the morning az if he owned
none. and was in arrears for his taxes on
what he owned the night before.
"ANELIA," he said, "what delicious
weather this is. How the tervent bill
lows of sunshine beat down through the
blue abyss of yonder sky" And oh, 1T
feels 80 good, Eugene just as if some
body was pouring warm oil down your
back"
LET us invest slowly in blue glass.
Let the poor buy -four and meat and
clothes, for these are certainly good for
health and let the rich, who have few
spare dollars, work out the problem for
us all. Meanwhile, natures old-iash-
iened white light is an awful good thing
and amazingly cheap.-ProtessoT S'o'"g.
NEW YORK isgiving big charity balls"
for the poor; and it must be quite a
treat to a starving man or woman to read
that Mrs. SO-and-so wore white silk,
court train, trimmed with knite-pleated
ruf1es and that Mrs Lofty's diamonds
were valued at $4,000. Such gorgeous
descriptions are calculated to appease
mans hunger and cheer him up. But,
after all, the best charity ball for
hungry man is Goldfish ball.
THE essence of the last successful play
1.-THE Hetman'-at the Paris Odeon,
is contained in the following lines;
I have lived: have loved; / have sung;
And my life was dance,
And cared not for France,
Nor cared 10 be in France, so felt was young
| have lived; have loved; have sung.
l have lived; / have suffered; 1 hate;
In defeat have known
That France was my own.
And knew was French, though knew II too late.
l have lived; have suffered hate
THERE is story told of two Scotch
lads who knew little of gInnery and
natural history, but were familiar wi
King James bible and with the winged
heads that pass for cherubs In painting
and sculpture. Goirg out a-gunnlng
together, one of them hot bird and
the other ran to secure the trophy.
Coming near where had fallen, he
found a white owl so Sprawled in the
grass as to present to his view only
head with staring eyes and pair OF
wings attached. Instantly he shouted
i'm dismay: We're in Ifor IL now
Jock; we've shot a cberubim !! "
ONCE in n while even a negro minstrel
perpetrates joke which Is
really a good one, an illustration OF
which fact recently occurred In London.
~filby is a London wine merchant whose
wines are presumably not all that good
iduOr should be, for that bright novel
writer. Rhoda Broughton, in one of her
.scent works referred to them disparag-
ngly. Gilby, the manufacturer, was
,ery mad thereat, and, calling in the aid
# the law, compelled the spicy autheress
O cut from her novel several interesting
ages to avoid the unpleasant conse-
uences of damage SUIT. The result,
owever, shows that the bad-tempered
but advertised the poor
uality of his goods and brought Tetribu-
ion by his course. Christy's minstrels
n London come to the rescue Of the
uthoress, defying Gilby gallantly and
lgeniously. One of them at their per
)rmance sang:
Ten little niggers drinking sherry wine
One drank.
Here another held up placard with
he single word Gilby's" on 1T, and
len the singer went On)--
then there nine.
IIlby was furious, but his lawyer told
i'm he could do nothing for neither Of
ne minstrels had uttered a complete
bel. 1t could not have been done more
eatly.