Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1877-04-08
AN IGNOMINIOUS FAILURE.


to found a lying club similar to those
so well sustained in Austin and other
cities, has, we are sorry to say, been
abandoned. The causes which led
to this unfortunate termination Of
a worthy design are perhaps a greater
ource Of regret than the result they
have brought about. Envy, jealousy
and d%issension among the prime
movers of the scheme have rem
dered necessary its indefinite post
ponement. At the preliminary meet
ing, held a few days since, a motion
was made that newspaper men be ex-
Guided. This proposition, m~anifestly
an outrageous discrimination, was,
s%ingnlarly enough, introduced and its
adoption urged by a lawyer! The ar
gument was that amateurs like him.
self and those of his profession could
not be expected to com pete successful
ly with professionals! He did not
wish to be made ashamed of himself.
No n did. He would like to hear
from some of the others. How could
they imagine anything but a one-sided
contest?
A scramble was made for the floor.
Half a dozen men were yelling in the
highest key of their voices. An over
enthusiastic journalist was thrown up.
on the floor in a corner and a copy of
the Gold Hill NeWS laid upon him to
hold him there. 1t held him.
FINALLY a Slaak 1rv. OondS clark oh.
tanned the chairman's recognition and
addressed the house. He was some
what surprised, he said, at the ton of
his legal friends remarks. His words
were clearly ill-timed. This meeting
should be harmonious. No discrimi-
nations should be allowed against any
class of men. Moreover, he thought
the objections urged by the previous
speaker to a most honored and respect
ed-[mocking cries of Hear! Hearw
Bravo!'1-a most honored and re-
spected element of the community,
were unjust and out Of place, and
evinced on the part of their advocate
a rather cowardly instinct. He the
speaker was more magnsnimous, and,
he hoped, more courageous and con-
fideut than his friend of the law. He
was not fearful of the superior prowess
of the gentlemen of the press. 1t Vas
a mistake to suppose that their avoca-
ton called for the exercise of no
other faculties than those to the
development of which the club
was devoted. Newspapers sometimes
told the truth. He had even known
individual journalists who were mod
els of propriety and veracity. la cry,
"Who, who? Never mind whom.
Yes, he had known one fellow-a reg
ular George Washington of fellow
ferries of, "Where is he? where does he
live?"1 He is, alas! dead long since,
but he was a martyr to principle and
died telling the truth ~[incredulous
groansl. But to revert more directly to
the point: He was opposed to any dis
ordinations. The principle ice
adopted. who could tell where to draw
the line? Besides, it was craven. The
class to which he belonged feared none
in the prospective contests before the
club; and who could say that their ed
ucation and training gave them any
advantage? Had eve the charge been
made. or the insinuation dropped, that
the dry goods men were not the most
Conscientious and p~uritanic of trades
men? [Cries of 'Oh, no!'1 In o n
clusion, he appealed to the generous
sentiments and self-confidence of the
gentlemen present and urged that the
doors be closed to none.
At this juncture the prone journalist
by a herculean effort succeeded in ex-
Treating himself from the crushing
weight of assessment notices under
which he had been suffering, and arose
to his feet. He lifted his voice amidst
the tumult and essayed to defend his
craftsmen. HIS words were drowned
by the stentorian tones of Mr.. Stitchem,
agent of the patent double.acting, re-
versible, double-ieed, double be-d-d
sewing machine.
Mr.. Stitchem said that, although
modesty was the chief mental charac-
~teristic of the noble order to which he
belonged, and That although when ris-
ing to address an audience as on the
present occasion, he blushed like a GER
tain classic heroine, clear down to the
ankles; that Notwithstanding these de-
pressing circumstances, he could not
forbear to say a word on this momen-
tous occasion. He desired to assure
the audience not only upon the repre-
sensations and claims of the company
but upon his record of honor, which
none dare impugn, that there was no
humbug about this machine. All that
was necessary was to place the end of
a twelve-yard strip of calico in the nip
pers on the feed board. start the fly
wheel and keep up a rapid motion by
the use of the treadle, when, in five
minutes a complete, neatly-fitting
dress issued from the other end of the
machine. / tell you, gentlemen, the
speaker said, waxing eloquent and flu
rlous-
A crash was heard. Mr.. Stitchem
fell heavily to the earth. A huge cab
bage head, in a state of advanced de-
composition, had been struggled in
from the rear by a Chinaman under
direction of the journalist aforesaid,
who had then persuaded a big hoodlum
to hurl it at the head of the speaker.
1t struck him in the mouth and annihi-
lated him. His mouth was open at
the time. Only a small portion of the
cabbage was found on the floor.
Charity should prevent idle specula-
ton as to what become OF the remain
der. The unfortunate man was taken
home on a shutter, but his a~ssailant,
owing to the negligence Of our law
officers, remains at large.
The next speaker was MI. Brazen-
nhiz. of the ROYAL Benpall Insurance