The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1877-05-17
PENCIL AND SCISSORS.
WAXwoRKs-A beehive.

PENCIL AND SCISSORS.
WAXwoRKs-A beehive.
A BUSINESS that is picking up-The
rag-picker's.
A NEVADA judge fines himself. for
swearing, but RENTS the fine.
WHY is the letter A like a honey
suckle? Because B follows it.
MOCK TURTLE kissing before COM
pany and quarreling afterwards.
The right man in the right place is
husband at home in the evening.
THE conceited man is great comfort
to himself and needs no sympathy.
NEVER promise your family physician
legacy. Such a step is very imprudent.
"WoRK & DooLIrTLE" is the sign
over a wholesale store in New York.
WIT should be used as shield for de-
fense, rather than sword to wound
others.
mlSFORIUNE uOto HUI always WAL Ou NlOty
Nor is success the constant guest of virtue.
-Hasard.
WHEN i'll news comes too late to be
serviceable to your neighbor, keep it to
yourself.
THE latest down.East" novelty is
imitation chestnuts made of raw sweet
potatoes.
WHAT you leave at your death, let it
be without controversy, else the lawyers
will be your heirs.
A TEXAS marriage notice closes with
the gratifying announcement that the
lady's first husband was shot for stealing
stock.
NOTHING that is not real crime
makes a man appear so contemplate and
little in the eyes of the world as incon-
stancy. .--.--
ALL young men have inalienable
rights, among which none is greater or
more sacred than the privilege to be
somebody.
As houses well stored with provisions
are likely TO be full of mice, SO the
bodies of those that eat much are full of
diseases.
"OH, ma" said little girl who had
been to show, "Pve seen the elephant,
and he walks backward and eats with
his tail"
AN enterprising dentist should adver-
tise false teeth that weuld assist one in
pronouncing some of these Russian and
Turkish names.
CONSIDER that you will never in this
life be free from annoyances, and that
you may as we'll Lear them patiently as
fret about them.
THE "oldest Mason in the United
States" died in four different cities last
week, and there can't be more than fifty
or sixty of him left.
A WESTERN editor says: The Nebraska
Legislature sits during the winter in Or
der to prevent its members from attend
ing the session in their shirt sleeves and
bare feet.
AN original way of answering two
questions at time: "Here, Biddy, my
darlint, what's the time O. night, and
where's the petaty puddingp cts
eight, sir"
IT is said that the man who explains
the workings of frst-class refrigerator
makes use of 400, 900 words and $4,000
gestures, and then he only sells to one
man out of six.
on City Call: When a man reaches
the top of stair and attempts to make
one more step higher, the sensation is as
perplexing as if he had attempted to
kick dog that wasn't there.
A FAMILY living in Missouri are
great on rhymes; there are ten children,
whose names are as follows: Bella,
Stella, Della, Ella, Eurella, John, Tom,
Lon, Don and Mon. (Short for Monroe.)
ONE of the triumphs of the para
graphist is achieved when he succeeds by
means of few amusing items at the
head of his column in Turing us on to
reading an advertisement Of somebody's
best family soap.
A LADY who had refused to give after
hearing charity sermon had her pocket
picked as she was leaving the church. On
making the discovery she said: "God
could not find the waysinto my pocket,
but it seems the devil did,"