Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1877-12-08
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.

,
The mick of time" is not slow
time.
Time will teach him who has no
teacher.
Senator Sharon is mining his own
business.
The best throw OF dice-Throw
them away.
Circular saws-Proverbs that 90
the rounds of society.
When is monk like an Irish
PEASANT When he's cnwI'd.
A spoon-An article That meets IA
lady's lips without kissing them.
Life insurance is becoming so un-
certain, doctors are again in demand.
Befoggcd steamers are making a
run on the banks of ewfoundland.
The man who said he was cont on
a lark was really out on swallow.
Satan was tbe first tramp; he went
70 and fro on earth looking for job.
Don. Cameron will pow bring out
a small novel entitled THAT Father
of Mine
1t is only the peanut men that re
ally enj y this lite, fer theirs is 4
cash business.
When man has house lot on
which he cannot pay taxes, he has q
site too much.
Mr.. Pumpkin has sued the Clev,-
land Leader, and expects 10 knock
that paper into pi.
When n man has ''fcatherrd his
nest" he at once begins to ''plumc
himself upon it also.
He who reads no newspapers of
any kind is only spared Of Heaven
that he may sit on .iuries.
People learn wisdom hy expert
ence. A man never wakes up his
second baby to see 1t laugh.
A woman who makes practice of
Borrowing a quart of milk generally
makes pint OF returning it.
When young lady hens hand
kcrchief for rich bachelor, she
probably sews that she may reap.
Why does the good wife OF the re-
formed drunkard rejoice! Because
her husband doesn't liquor any more.
What is the difference between II
hill aud a pilll One is hard to get
up and the other is hard to get
down.
''Lnve is an internal transport!' ~
exclaimed an enthusiastic poet. $50
is IA canal boat" said an old forward
ing merchant.
The propostion.to introduce ladies
as railroad conductors is opposed, in
view of the fact that their trains are
always behind.
There isn't much difference be-
tween grasshopper and a grass
widow, after all. Either will jump
at the first chance.
"Mamma, do yon know what the
largest specie of ants are2 You
shake your head. Well, I'll tell you.
They're elephants
The reason why cream is so dear
is said to be that the milk has risen
so high it IS impossible for the cream
to reach the surface.
A down east landlord said he be-
lieved he had given away, during the
forty years he had kept hotel, more
than a thousand matches.
A young lady Of border town
saws that when her father snores "the
neighbols all set out their wash tubs,
thinking a thunder storm is coming
up"
Always take rope into your room
at n hotel. 1t may enable YOU to
slide out, even If there is no fire. a
big hoard bill is about MS bad as u
.connagration.
A peddler called TO sell his goods
to u temperance lady. "Dn you
.drinkl" asked the lady. The ped
.dler dropped his pack and sald
."Vell, | shust lievc drink NIT you AS
any odder mans
"F,regoes' was put nut at a recent
written spelling exercise IN sclrrol'
One little boy, who is apparently des-
tined to be paragrapher, handed IN,
$50, go, go, 60"
An editor, speaking Of spiritual
ism, says: ave, don't believe in any
medium except the circulating me-
.dium,' and that has become So scarce
that our faith in it is shaky."