The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1877-12-08
VARIETIES.

L AR1 IeIldTk 10 Il l1UUIo DON
who skates-tOo thin.
"This," thought a boy while being
trounced by his second papa, {" is very
like whale"
SEAL skin sacques are worn longer"
Same way with all the rest of our old
clothes.-PhitadelphiG Bulletin
KEEP your eye on Valentine Baker.
At last accounts he was around Sophia.
-Neec York Commercial
No, MAN," said grocer to an APP
plicant for credit, 81 wouldn't even
trust my own feelings"
IT has been said of a Chicago couple,
" Two souls with but single thought
how to get rid of each other"
THE slipper season is at hand, and far
sighted young clergymen are having
their bins fitted for the winter supply
Boston Com. Bulletin.
INSECTS are worshipped in the inter
ior of Africa" says an exchange. That's
nothing. Here in America people wor-
ship insects, too Commercial 4dcertiser
ALCOHOL will clean silver" Yes,
alcohol well stuck to will clean out all
the silver you have Cincinnati ,Sat,u-
dag Night.
THERE is consolation in knowing that
a man with small foot can have Just as
many corns on his toes as q man with a
big one.
A CHICAGO girl succeeded in getting
through the Mont Gents tunnel by leav-
ing her sfoesat the entrance to be hauled
over the mountain.--G Globe Democrat
THE Danbury man has been informed
and he believes that hugging girl in a
perfect-ftting corset is like putting your
arm around a cold parlor stove.
ONE Thomas cat, if he tends to bust
ness right sharp, can destroy $50 worth
OF gold fish In one night, and wake uL
twenty-five old maids as he goes home al
daybreak.
NOTHING unnerves the average small
boy so much as to be obliged to steal
cookies out of a jar. To his strained
senses the Earring of the cover sounds
like the crack Of DOOM Galaty.
"IN the sentence John strikes Will
liam, ," remarked school teacher, "what
is the object of strikes 30 Higher
wages and less work. promptly replied
the intelligent youth
"WHAT is the age of your little boyT'
inquired a venerable gentleman of the
mother of an impertinent youngster.
The sauce age, of course" replied the
mother. The sage saw it.
A CRAZY man with hatchnt recently
went through Trappist monastery and
cleaned out the entire establishment.
The inmates didn't fancy that kind of a
chip monk C0mmerciot Adrertiser.
DISTANCE has only relative value.
When man sits down on carpet tack
only quarter of an inch long, it is hard
for him to realize that the point didn't
come out at the back of his neck.
DARLING kiss my eyelids down." is
the latest moonshine song; and he kissed
them down, and up, and crosswise, and
all around, and then settleson her mouth
as steady thing.
SAYS the Worcester Press: Faith is
sometimes personifed as drenched
female clinging to a a-washed rock; but
a better personifcation would be bald
headed man buying bottle of patent
hair restorer."
A SERGEANT in the Bavarian army
who was recently discharged on account
of lung disease, was in the habit OF
drinking twenty quarts of beer day
We don't wonder his lungs were afflicted
he must have spent about half his time
holding his breath.-Hawkeye.
A SMALL pupil was asked by school
board inspector of what the surface OF
the earth consists, and was promptly an.
swered, Land and water" He varied
the question slightly that the fact might
be impressed on the boys mind, and in
quired, "What, then, do land and water
maker" To which came an immediate
response, Mud"