The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1877-09-12
AMAN UNDER THE BED.

AMAN UNDER THE BED.
How Miss Johnston Found Him
Bedst cad.
One of the most striking characters
tics of woman is her cheerful persever
snce in looking under the bed for mar .
No man in his senses ever looks under
the bed for woman, but there are mil
who would find it quite mpos-
sible to sleep in any bed under
which they have not previously searched
for concealed man. Experience is lost
upon them, The average unmarried
women of 40 years of age has usually
looked under the bed at least seven
thousand five hundred times without
ever once finding the expected man, but
she is not in the least discouraged by so
long course Of failure and it would be
easy to find women of. 80 years who
still nightly search TOT the man whom
they have never found.
Miss Johnston of Evanston, will here
after be famous as n woman whose long
perseverance had been signslly rewarded
1t would be indicate to inquire into
her precise age, had she not described
herself in recent affidavit Ms having
been born in the year 1884, and we may,
therefore take it for granted that she is
ut least As years old II we assume that
she began to look under the bed nj the
age of Is, IT follows that she has per-
formed that ceremony more than TO-
600 times. Until last Friday she never
found the smallest fragment of man
under her bed, but on that eventtul night
her perseverance WAS rewarded, and tho
long sought man greeted her astoRlshed
gaze.
Miss Johnson being m unmarried
lady, not wholly uncennected with the
milliner's trade. and full of womanly in
dependence, resides entirely alone in n
small house containing but three rooms
" kitchen, shop and bedroom. Dogs she
despises and cats she mlstrusts, while rs
for men, she regards them rs poor Great
ures who may possibly have their uses
il time OF drOth, when water must be
carried from the creek, but VINO, as II rHlr
make more trouble about n house than
their necks are worth Holding these
views, it naturally follows that Miss
johnson lives alone and the cool bravery
with which she locks up her house At
night ana seeks her solitary couch, no
matter if frst class thunder storm Is In
progress, has tor years been the admlra-
ton of the more timid Of her sex.
# was about IL o'clock last Friday
night when Miss johnson stopped down
and looked under the bed Tor possible
man precisely as she she had done on
ten thousand previous nights. Whether
she was or WAS not astonished At per
ceiving large sized man under the bed
with the back of his head toward her
will never be known; but at any
rate she gave no sign of astonishment,
and did not even inform the man that
shs saw him. On the contrary, she re-
sumed with great deliberstlon the noe
tursl twisting OF her back hair, and even
softly hummed Hold the Fort with as
much dislictness as could be expected Of
n woman while holding a comb between
her teeth. Her back hair being finally
finished, she opened her window, turned
down the lamp until it gave forth
u dim and modest light, and then
stepped gracefully into bed, but not to
sleep.
Thst sagacious woman was perfectly
well aware that the man under the bed,
not suspecting that he had been discover
ed would creep forth with view to
plunder as soon as he found that she was
asleep. Tho bedstead stood IN the corner
of the room, ana from the position OF the
man it was plain that he would creep
out At the side of the bed. Miss john
son, therefore, charged her usual manner
of composing herself to rest, and lay, as
she subsequently, expressed 1t, flat rs .
pancake" with her head projected over
the side of the bed at the precise locahty
where she expected the man 70 appear.
For at least half an hour she lay per-
tectly still, watching fer the man with q
stcalthv vigilance that would have done
credit TO an sstute ard experienced cat.
Not muscle or hsir-pin of her frame
moved, and her breathing WAS AS slow
and regular MS that OF profound sleeper.
Al length the man, confident that she
was asleep, softly began to worm him
self from under the bed, moving after
the manner prescribed by way OF penalty
TO the origins serpent of the Garden OF
Eden. Little did he imagine that PAIR
of pitiless gray eyes were waiting tor
the appearance of his head, while PAIR
of 1.-the and nervous hands were ready
to pounce upon his ears. 1t was not
many minutes, however, before each ear
was suddenly caught in an memorable
grasp, and his head began to oscillste
with remarkable speed between the floor
and the edge of the bedstesd.
Won Moltke himself could not have
surpassed Miss Johnson's tactics. She
had the man completely at her mercy,
and he was as helpless as though his
head were in the stocks. AT first his
csptor maintained grim silence, but
after she had bumped HIM sufficiently to
ease her mind, she addressed him upon
the wickedness and folly of seeking to
rob her. In vain did the man protest
that his motives were innocent; that he
had mistaken the house, and had merely
intended to take quiet nap under MS
own bedstead, where the flies could not
find him. Miss johnson sternly told
him that he could not make her believe