River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-03-01
A Monaghan Match Maker.

The circumstances related in this |
Item are necessarily abridged, but are |
given as literally as possible, and we
youch for their truth in all respects
A married lady residing in the north.
eastern or southwestern part of the
city was visited recently by a younger
and married sister, from a neighbour
ing city. An exceedingly aged, but
remarkable shrewd, Chinaman has
for two years been accustomed to visit
the house to sell fruit and vegetables.
While the sister was a guest it was
that younger and very spruce
males frequently accom-
panied the elder heather. Since the
departure of the sister the old China
man has been remarkably kind to the
of the household, exhibiting
liberality with his goods,
and insisting upon leaving trifling
presents from time to time. 4 week or
so ago this ancient joss-worshiper,
on the familiarity which
had grown out of his long trading re-
lations with the family, took his ac-
customed seat in the wash-room of the
residence and thus addressed himself
to the hOuse-maid as she was engaged
at her laundry work:
"You likee wolk here hey %
sob yes, very well.
How muchee you catchee :"
Fifteen dollars a month, John,
why %
"You getee much eat an--an good
loom o.
Yes, certainly, plenty to eat, and
good ROOM
"saay-you-likee mally Chinaman
-sabe
"What you Old
eyes, one nice young Chinaman
got heap money, you no wolk some
more, gettee more fifteen dolla month
Chinaman give you one tousand dolla.
Yes, Chinaman Sal Flacisco all same
now mally Mellican man Chu All Huy,
he give Mellican woman tree tousand
dolla, she be wifee; sabe You
likee Chinaman your husb'n-h ely 2"
He continued in this strain for some
time. The joke was too broad, and
the proposition too ludicrous to listen
to long, and the young woman fed to
tell the lady of the house the as.
tonishing proposal, which for the next
day or two was the standing jest in
the family. But few days afterward
the gray headed old matrimonial agent
found excuse to enter the dining
room, where the mistress of the house
hold was at work with her children
about her.
"You-slister, she go way
Eyes, she's gone home"
After contemplative pause, he con-
tinued ''S-a.a-y (confdentially) she
likee mally one-oh mice Chinaman!"
'sWhy John you old rascal-''
g Top, top, you see, all same Melli-
can man, he got wifee, all same China
man, he get Millican wifee-'top,
top" as the lady showed signs of
anger. "YOu Sister ; one young China
man he got heep money he give you
Sister tree tous'n dolla she his wifee :;
good hOusee; bimeby he max heep
more money, she heep dlesses-"
at this, John was told to go about
his business, and that the sister al
ready had husband at home, and did
not wish to emulate the example of that
white woman in San Francisco who
married Chinaman. He continued
the argument a while and set forth
the advantages of the offer, and only
ceased on peremptory command. But
yesterday the bold rascal returned to
the attack in the following manner,
as the lady met him at the kitchen
door ''S-a-a-y," in low tones, ''MissiS,
you husb'n pretty soon Che no catchee
so much money like Chinaman. China
man he get all wolkee, he makee every
ting, he buy house, he buy horsee, he
buy store, he buy team carse-aIl
things he much good; Mellican man
he no get much any ting; S-a-a-y, you
sabe? You likee mally one yelley
nice Chinaman now, all same Mellican
woman San Flacisco e. And old
Mongol chuckled over his logic as he
unwOund brief and ragged cue from
his grizzled and wrinkled pate, and
carefully placed it in coils again.
Greatly amused, and moved by Gu
riosity to hear what further the
chap had to say, the lady asked
him what dover his ambitious principal
would accord her if she deserted her
white husband for one of darker hue.
"W.e-l-e, he give you two tousn'
dolla."
"What, only two thousand! Why,
you offer three thousand for my
sister"
:" Top, top she heep younger
woman"
"Why John J" interposed the house
maid, 'you offered me only thousand
dollars"
sob, tut tut !-slee," emphasizing
and counting on his fingers-''one
Chinaman he gottee so much money,
he givee you one tous'n dolla you be
his wifee, sleel One more Chinaman
he got heep more, he give tree tous'n
her Sister nan one more China
man he no catcheC so much he Give
two tous'n, her. Slice? (see)." John
went on at length, from this point, to
say that the Chinaman who secured a
white in San Francisco, recently, had
been congratulated by all his people,
that great numbers of Chinese had
sent her presents that no Chinese
women were allowed to visit her, and
that she was treated like queen and
lived upon the fat of the land, and
that her dover had been raised by the
Chinese companies, her husband being
poor, adding: ''She heep comply;
big Chinaman ali go to dinner her
house keep turk'y, heep chick'n,
heep oyster Chinaman make lady, oh,
muchee present; Chinaman be mnchee
proud Mellican woman Chinaman wifee
now. Oh, muchee present for her
ale time, ann Chinaman heep make
bow fore her. Then all big Chinaman
make her much presents /; she no buy
anyt ing" The interview was brought
to a close, and John was sent about
his business.
He was heartily persistent in his of
fers for his principals, and is either
perfect joker or downright sobriety,
intended all he uttered. Steps have
been taken to prevent further Mongo-
liam matrimonial advances in that
quarter, and the women folks have an
unhealthy reception for the agent when
he again appears in that role. The af-
fair ia made the subiect of much mer-