West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1877-12-15
THE ATHEN EUM .

THE ATHENEUM.
"JUNIUs, JR., AMONG THE Door RS"
What HE SAW AND HEARD AT
The ACADEMY LAST M,NDAY NIGHT
"A FEW CHAPS MAKE MINUTE
SPEECHES, AND OTHERS INTRODUCE
TOY REsoLUTI Ms
KINGwooD, w. VA, Dec. IL, 1877.
Last night we attended the meeting OF
the Athe naeum and this morning, while
the proceedings are still fresh in our
memory, we will attempt TO chronicle
them for the ARGUS
There's no use taking, Mr.. T. itor.
there are brains in that institu lon; and
II you will allow us u reason 10y draw
ing just and applicable comparisons, we
will just state, for the edifcation ,fa rlw
amateur psychologists, that brains, real
white brains, havo been found, by ana
tonicid demonStrtt rs. in the heads OF
ourang outangs. However, We do MOI
wish to reflect, i'm any way, upon the
braiu power of that epheneral insu,u-
ton for by bringing the daughter into
the light, where al could sec er as she
TX, We might wound the feelings of her
houored mother-the PhiloGatheal Lit
erary Society.
After some prelminaries. and gen.
eral look into the corners 10 SEQ whether
your correspondent was present, the
President declared that the regular ex-
ercises were now in order, The first
thing on the programme was music and
TO use the language OF on one the mem
bers at was very enlivonin' "
Select reading was now in order. The
gentleman appointed for the purpose
came up missing. GLauRhterl. The jan
itor was then instructed to look under
the benches and behind the coal box and
report whether the gentleman was in
the room. The janitor reported, "fhe
gentleman cannot be found within my
bailiwick." Order passed.
The de bate was now i'm order and the
clashing Of argument was somew hat
mlder h IN thu collision Of thunderbolts.
The question, ResolOed, That tIc sw Jrd
discussed with a vim equal 10 that dis
pla yed by an angry lamb springing upon
an innocent and unsuspecting lion.
One gentleman upon the affirm tive
said that "John Jirkenstraight mounted
a horse with Bible in ono hand and a
sword in the other and went galloping
off over the plains Of MoabCD and met
rhinocerOs that was settin' IN the shade
Of q wild cucumber tree rcadin' one Of
Beadles dime novels. Mr.. Jirkern-
straig ht gave the rbinocorOs q prod with
the sword, and the rhinoceros thinking
that he was about TO be scalped by an
American Indian surrendered ard be-
came a reformed rhiuOcerOs."
One gentleman upon the negative said
chat when man made two different
statements on the witness stand that his
evidence was Kpockoi higher m a kite,
and therefore the sword was not the pio-
neer Of the Gospel, because there was
hint-lock muskets i'm them pioneer
in times, and that when you went TO
shoot one Of them after night there was
likely to be y fash in the pan which
would light up the country for miles
sround-in fact so light ia the most dis
tant mountain caves that you could see
b. bait Limerick fish hook with one Of
the hvoliest worms that ever crept."
The decision was given In favor Of the
negative.
Miscellaneous debate was nov announ-
oed. one gentleman got up and said
something about charity and knowledge,
That charity was the mother Of knowl~
edge and that knowledge was the dad
dy" Of charity. Another gentleman said
we had a great man, more churches n1w
than we used to have. The third gon
tleman vonturcd the opinion that there
wasn't near as much religion now a.
there was before tho war. fLaughter
commenced.
u was now announced that the society
would listen TO minute speeches. tAw-
ful applausel. one gentleman look a.
his subie t. "AmOiion" lLau hter W
the consregstionl Though there was a