St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1877-10-26
A Woman who Meant Business.
From the Detroit Free Press.l

From the Detroit Free Press.
There is no reason why the inventor
of remedy to "cure the worst case of
catarrh inside of five minutes" shouldn't
feel it his duty to place bottle of the
same in every persons hand-''price
25 cents; no cure, no pay.n Therefore,
the long-legged chap who pulled door
bell on John r. Street yesterday, had
none of that timidity in his bearing
which characterizes rag-buyers, light
ming rod men and solicitors for the fire
sufferers. He had good thing and be
knew it, and he wanted other folks to
know it. When the door opened and a
hard featured woman about forty years
of age confronted him, he pleasantly
went to business and asked: MADAME,
is your husband ever troubled with the
catarrh2 ?"
"Can man who has been dead seven
years be troubled with the catarrh 2"
she grimly replied.
''But the children are liable to be at
tackled at any hour this season." he re-
marked.
"Who's children ?"
"Yours, madam"
81 never had any sir! What brought
you UcI0 duy IlOW w uy you
asking those questions"
MADAME, have compounded rem
edy for the catarrh. 1t is good thing.
I'll warrant it to knock any case of ca
tarrh sky-high in less than five min
utes.n
"Well, sir, what's all this to me ~
"Why, madame-why-" he STAN
mered.
'FDo look as if l needed any catarrh
remediesP
"Madam, | would not for the world
have you think that l thought you had
the catarrh, but / suppose the fair and
lovely can be attacked as we'll as the
strong and brave"
"And what have l got to do with all
that rigmarole Who are you, sir, and
what do you want ?"
"Madam," he whispered, backing
down one step, 81 have compounded IA
remedy for the catarrh."
"Who's catarrh, sir 2"
MADAM, am selling my catarrh-'
"Where is your catarrh-where is it ?'
she interrupted.
"He got down on the second step and
softly began: "Madam, I have sure
cure for the catarrh, and l am selling
lots of it,"
'Well, what do 1 care! Must you
ring my door bell to tell me that you
are selling lots of catarrh medicine 7"
He got down on the walk, clear Of
the steps, and he tried hard to look
beautiful around the mouth as he ex-
planned: ''Madam, didn't / ask you
if your husband was ever troubled with
catarrh ?''
eyes, sir, and didn't 1 reply that he
was dead? Do you want to see hi,
grave, sir ?"
"No, madam, 1 do not. 1 am sorry
he's dead, but my catarrh remedy CAM
help him any. Goodbye, madam"
'Here, sir, hold on minute!" sh,
called, 'Ewhat was your business Will
me ?n
"Why, have remedy for the ca.
tarrh."
$50 you said before"
81 asked you if you didn't want tt
purchase, and"
''You are falsifer, sir; you never
asked me to purchaser
u-want-a-bottle 2" he
slowly asked.
ayes, sir; give me two of them here'i
your money! Next time you want tt
sell your catarrh remedy don't begin tt
talk around about the discovery o.
America by Columbus. Here you've
bothered me fifteen minutes, and put
all my work behind, and it's good fol
you l didn't bring the broom to tn,
door!"
He retreated backwards through the
gate, his left eye squinted up and hi
mouth open. He shut the gate, leaned
over it and looked long at the from
door. By and by he said: "Darn 'em
You can never tell where to find 'em p