Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1877-07-11
Published every Wednesday and Saturday
morning by
CRANK x EN- NYON.
TERMS:
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.
ext comes Thanksgiving.

Next COIlleS lHdDkSStNiuS.
Joining the Shakers-Getting the
ague.
The music of the future-Sixty
day notes.
No church is too weak to take up
collection.
No Chinaman has ever yet become
book agent.
Club receptions-Hostile meetings
with policemen.
1t requires no particular skill to
make blunder.
Fellow c-i-t-i-z-e-n-s-Wai till
next year, please.
Daniel Deronda could not put up
at the Grand Union hotel, Saratoga.
What is the largest room in the
worldi The room for improvement.
Before taking liberties with a
strange dog, observe his tail and wait
for the wag on.
The best summer resort for babies
Rockaway. The best for bad boys
Long Branch.
Miss Kate Claxton never eats her
breakfast in bed. She prefers hot
rolls down stairs.
Schuyler Colfax has made $780,
900 in five seasons from his Grafton
on Abraham Lincoln.
Buffalo, New York, sighs for
first-class hotel. Why don't she add
more cyphers and get ones
Portland had an old woman who
was killed by falling plaster. Her
fate was of her own ceiling.
They have discarded the directory
in Chicago, and use the list of dein
quent taxpayers as being more com
ple.e.
Geo. w. Childs of Philadelphia
gave the news boys dinner on the
4th of July. Champagne was not on
the bill OF fare
When We see man standing with
an umbrella to keep the rain off from
his potato patch, we know that he is
book farmer.
The people of Boston have seen
strange sight--a President who has
astonished his party by doing what
he promised to do.
Now that the girls no longer wear
bustles, what is the poor tramp who
strikes picnic ground going to do
for reading matIerl
The Michigan penitentiary man
agement keeps cows. The convict
who was sent to look for them last
week is not back yet.
Toledo Blade: If Pharaoh's daush-
ter had been as careful about taking
in Jews as Judge Hilton is, what
would have become of Mosesl
Army officers take certain salts
faction in the recent Indian outbreak,
which they think will kill the tax
about reduction of the force.
Beccher declines his $4,000 offer
to lecture in California this summer
for fear of hay fever, and will go to
the White mountains, as usual.
The business of exporting fresh
meat to Europe has come to stand
still, hot weather and decreasing de-
creasing demand being the cause.
There are $4,000 lawyers the Uni
ted States. This means $4,000 sets
of obituary resolutions, sooner or
later. Let the unhappy reading pub
lie fortity itself.
Some people who are fearful of
edge tools, will risk their mouths in
the presence of table-kniie IN rapid
operation, but their courage utterly
forsakes them in the presence of
wood saw.
Ex-Treasurer Spinner Is the most
successful fisherman in Florida. The
secret of his success is said to lie in
the fact that he uses his autograph
for bait, and the fish imagine that it
is new kind of worm.
In Irishman who had just landed
said: "The first bit of mate l ever
ate in this country was a roasted po-
tato, boiled yesterday; an if ye don't
behave me, can show it to ye, for l
,have it IN me pocket"
Miss Becker astounded the Wom-
ans Right meeting in London by de-
claring that there are 100000 spin
sters in Great Britain who own $780,
100000 worth of property. The
thrifty young American will, we hope,
be advised in time, and "avoid the
rush by applying early"