The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1877-10-18

His jaws vas shtill Vaughn. un seemed to say,
-'ven no one vas here got in to bIay-
II closed nit . spring-un der poy SO green
Vas made sausage meat by der choppfng ma
sheen." rssss
. OF der shoemaker's poy,
I'm. o, der shocmaker's poyi
THE MAN WHO TALKED TOu
MUCH.
He slipped into an ice-cream saloon
very softly, and when the girl asked
him what he wanted, he replied:
'Corned-beef, fried potatoes, pickles
and mince-pies.'
This il not q restaurant; this is an
ice-cream parlor,' she said.
Then why did you ask me what !
wanted7 Why don't you bring on
your ice-creamr
She went after it, and as she return
ed, he continued:
You see, my dear girl, you must
infer-you must reason. It isn't like
1y that would come into an ice-cream
parlor to buy . grindstone, is it? You
didn't think came in here to ask ii
you had any baled hay, did you?
She looked at him in great surprise,
and he vent on:
If owned q hardware store, and
you came in, would infer that you
wanted something in my line. would
not step out and ask if you wanted to
buy q mule, would I?'
She went away highly indignant.
An old lady was deyouring dish of
cream at the next table, and the
stranger, after watching her few mo.
ments, called out:
NY dear woman, have you found
any hairs or buttons in your dish?'
Mercy, no r she exclaimed, as she
wheeled around, and dropped her
spoon.
well, I'm glad of it, he continued.
If you find any, just let me know
She looked at him for half minute,
picked up the spoon, laid it down
again, and then rose and left the room.
She must have said something to the
proprietor, for he came running in and
exclaimed:
Did You tell that woman that there
were hairs and buttons in my ice
creamr
NO, siri'
you didn't p
No, sir, did not /; 1 merely request
ed her, in case she found any such in.
gradients, to inform me-
We'll. sir, that was a mean trick Fl
MY dear SIR said the stranger,
smiling softly, did you expect me 10
ask the woman ii she found crow-bar
or . sledge-hammer In her cream? 1t
Is impossible, sir, for such articles to
hide away in such q small dish.'
The proprietor went away growl.
ing, and. as the stranger quietly sip
Ded away at his cream. two young Ia
dies came in, sat down near him, and
ordered some cream and cake. He
waited until they had eaten q little, and
then remarked:
Beg pardon, ladies. but do you OBJ
serve any thing peculiar in the taste OF
this ice-cream
They tasted, smacked their lips, and
were not certain.
Does it taste to you as if plug of
tobacco had fallen into the freezer p he
asked.
'Ahl Kah. they exclaimed, and
tried to spit ont what they had eaten.
Both rnshed out, aud it wasn't long
before the proprietor rushed in.
See here, what in blazes are you
talking about p he demanded. what
do you mean by plug tobacco in the
freezer?'
MY kind friend, asked those la
dies If this cream tasted of plug to-
bacco. Idon't taste any such taste,
and l don't believe you put bit of
tobacco in it.
well, You don't want to talk that
way around here continued the pro-
prietor. MY ice-cream is pure, and
the man who says it is not is a bold
liar
He went away again, and woman
with long neck and sad face sat
down and said to the girl that she
would take q small dish of lemon.ice.
1t was brought, and she took about
two mouthfuls, when the stranger in
quired:
Excuse me, madam, but do you
know how this cream was made-have
you any idea that they grated turnip
and chalk with the cream?'
She didn't reply. She slowly rose
up, wheeled around and made for the
door. The stranger followed after.
By great luck his coat-tails cleared the
door an instant too soon to be struck
by . five-pound box of figs, hurled
with great force by the Indignant pro.
prietor. Ashe reached the curb-stone
he halted, looked at the door of the
parlor, and sliloquized:
There are times when people should
infer. and then there are times when
they shouldn't. suppose if 1 had
asked that woman If she thought they
hashed up saw-mill in the cream,
she'd have felt q circular saw going
down her throat. (IlD Her.
AID.
EVERY man likes to hit the nail upon
he head. But let man hit the nail I
,pon the toe-his big toe, particular
q huge rock, and it is