Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1877-07-05
Anl1aruns department.
THE INOUISITIVE BOY.

A young lady, we'll KnoWn IN Ine exclusive
first circles of Columbia society for unrivaled
personal charms and elegance of accomplish
ments was recently driven around to make a
congratulatory call upon married lady
friend who was happily convalescing from
that occasional sacred event in the lives Of
welded ladies, which, far from being sick
ness, is the perfect elimination of their
health. She was shown into the psrlor, and
for the few minutes required to arrange for
the reception in that room where mother and
child were doing as we'll as could be expect
ed, was left with no other than the only son
and heir of the house, then in his fourth year.
But Charlie was fully equal to the situation.
Lowering his tone into the confidential, he
asked:
"Miss-, 90 dot q babyf"
The young lady gave one swift glance
around to assure herself there was no other
hearer of this pertinent question, and replied:
mo, Charlie, dear, have not"
"And did 90 never have baby"
In spite of the youth of her eager interlo-
cutor her handsome eyes dropped before his
ingenious gaze, and her pretty face flushed as
she replied:
mo, Charlie, never did, Is not this
beautiful day"
"And amt 90 never doin' to have no ba-
by? persisted Charlie, declining to enter on
the tempting conversational side'track Of the
weather.
my boy, I can't tell. Tell me all the
names of whom those are the photographs"
"And don't 90 want a baby?"
"Why, Charlie, what close questioner
you are. IF you are not careful you will
grow into one of those newspaper interview
ers and then what will your poor mamma
think of you?"
Because" continued Charlie, utterly re-
fusing to be switched of, 81 know where 90
tan det one. The doctor brought my mamma
one and he keepth them in hith ofith. %
iuth do down Locust threet and den 90 do up
a lot of stairs and thath where he teeps 'em.
And they're awful cheap. too. My papa
hathn't paid for my mammals baby yet, but
heth doin' to-"
"Well, Charlie, I'm sure I'm much obliged
to you for your full directions, and I'll know
just where to co.
"Oh, NTH, 90 needn't do. I'll tell
my papa juth ath thoon ath ever he tums
home that 90 want baby and he'll det one
for 90, and"
That young lady seized that little boy by
his two shoulders, and, leaning over so as to
look full into his eyes, she said, with an i'm
pressive force, lent by sudden terror:
''See here, Charlie, listen to me. l don't
want any baby yet, and if you ever say any.
thing about it to your papa, I'll never like
you any more at all, never, never, never.
Now, will you promise3"
Ill hob /
But tot everybody liked to have babieth.
do."-Maristta (Psnn.) Register.
AN AMERICAN D1sH.-An amusing story
is told, of which it is averred that no less a
parsonage than the late George Peabody, the
celebrated American banker, was the hero.
1t appears that Mr.. Peabody had invited
three Englishmen to meet two Americans at
dinner, and on this occasion, having received
as gift ten ears of green corn, determined to
renew the recollections of his youth, astonish
his English and please his American guests
by having it served up in the well.known
American STYLE
Accordingly, at proper time, plates of
butter and salt were placed before each guest,
and the banker, with something of an air of
mystery, announced that he was now about to
treat his guests to well.known and delicious
American dish of food, cooked in the Ameri-
can manner. It would DO no novelty to his
American guests, but the Englishmen must
watch how it was disposed of by them, and
follow their example and manner in disposing
of it. Then, at signal, entered a stately
servant bearing large covered dish, which
he deposited solemnly before Mr.. Peabody.
,,o.o ~ oho1;anoo fo tho honk.
er's nod, he whisked off the cover, and there,
before the astonished guests, was displayed
pile of ten boiled corncobs!
The banker gazed for an instant in mute
horror and dismay, and then found voice to
demand an explanation, which was finally
reached when the cook was summoned-a
fellow who had never before seen an ear Of
Indian corn in his life. He replied that he
had followed his masters direction to "strip
off all the outside before boiling" which he
had done most faithfully, not only husks, as
was intended, but grains also, so that the
banker had only what is, in America, the
mute evidence of the feast to indicate what
were his good intentions to his guests.
A ScHooL-BoY ON CoRNs.-Corns are of
two kinds-vegetable and animal. Vegeta-
Bile corn grows in rows, and animal corn
grows on toes. There are several kinds of
corn; there is the unicorn, capricorn, corn
dodgers, field corn, and the corn which is the
corn you feel most 1t is said, believe, that
gophers like corn, but persons having corns
do not like to "go fur" if they can help it.
Corns have kernels, and colonels have corns.
Vegetable corn grows on ears, but animal corn
grows on the feet at the other end of the
body. Another kind of corn is the acorn
these grow on oaks, but there is no hoax
about the corn. The acorn is corn with an
indefinite article indeed. Try it and see.
Many man when he has corn wishes it
was an acorn. Folks that have corn some
times send for a doctor, and if the doctor
himself is corned he probably won't do so
well a. if he isn't. The doctor says corns are
produced by tight boots and shoes, which is
probably the reason why when man is tight
they say he is corned. If farmer manages
we'll he can get good deal of corn on an
acre, but know of a farmer that has one
corn that makes the biggest acher on his
farm. The bigger crop of vegetable corn
man raises the better he likes it; but the big
ger crop of animal corn he raises the better
he does not like it. Another kind of corn is
the corn dodger The way it i, made is very
simple, and is as follows-that is, if you want
to know: You 90 along the street and meet
a man you know has a corn, and rough
character; then you step on the toe that has
corn on it, and see if you haven't occasion
to dodge. In that way you will find out