, 1877-11-30
Wit and HumOr.


are pocket-books.
THE money and hair of fool are soor
parted in the middle.
COOP little bootblacks are shining ex.
amples Of what boys can do.
To train up boy in the way he should
go it is necessary to switch him off oc-
Casionally.
PAT says: "And sure, nearly iviry
frind hev lift in the worud hez bin
did long since"
In Arkansas neckties are cheap. The
crowd puts it around your neck, sllngs il
over tree, and it doesn't cost you any
thing.
THE young collegian who wrote home
for new coat and got one a mile too big,
suggests that that was not fitting
reply.
DID you ever notice mans face under
the influence of first bite of rhubarb
pie which the cook had forgot to
sweetenf
WHAT is the difference between de-
linquent printer and a mad landlord
One tramps the track and the other tracks
the tramp.
A STORY is told of a lady of fashion
who said she should like to 90 to Rome
to have her portrait painted by one of
the old masters.
AN exchange tells about boy climb
ing tomato vine to get away from a
mad dog. Tomato vines attain an enor-
nous size in California, so do lies.
A YOUNG man, who ought to be ashamed
of himself, in commenting on tremans s
parade, said that wet day was always
favorable for an exhibition of hose.
A GENTLEMAN who had been victimized
by notorious borrower, who always for
got to pay, called him one Of the most
promising men of his acquaintance.
"MY luck" exclaimed Bohemian,
sis so atrociously bad that believe if
were to invest in some soap, washing
would 60 out of fashion tomorrow"
THE most puzzlng thing about an ed
itorial shears is the antipathy usually ex-
isting between that useful article and the
italics found at the bottom of the para
graph.
Mrs. SPILKINs, reading that General
Crook had just captured hundred
lodges, devoutly expressed the wish that
her husbands lodge might be among the
number.
ANDREW JACKSON was accused OF bad
spelling, but John Randolph defended
him by saying that "a man. was a fool
who could not spell word more ways
than one"
"THE train has caught up with those
cattle again." sleepily remarked a pas
senger on an Ohio railroad, as he was
awakened by the whistle of the engine
the other night.
A CONNECTICUT preacher says that a
good congregation will praise the music,
the choir, the ventilation, and the civili-
ties of the usher; but as to the sermon
"Well, dunno"
MAN-"Do you think it would be safe
for me to cross this pasture2" Maid
swell, the old bull don't like red very
much, but if you will chalk your nose, |
guess he won't attack YOU"
"You amt afraid to die2" said the
clergyman, tenderly. "No," replied the
sufferer; sim only afraid if do that the
old woman will go shooting among my
private papers the first thing
HARRY TURN recently married hiS
cousin, of the same name. When inter-
rogated as to why he did so, he replied
that it had always been a maxim OF his
that zone good Turn deserves another"
A CERTAIN young and amiable prince,
pursuing in great haste beautiful lady
at Court. "Your HighnesS is running
very fast" observed the lady. 81 am
only following my inclination" he
replied.
"WHY did you name that old horse Ma
poleonl" asked gentleman of Negro,
whose horse was almost reduced to a
skeleton. "Why, Marse, you see it's Gaze
the bony part is 50 strong in him. was
the reply.
A GENTLEMAN observed one day -
Henry Erskine, the Scottish advocate,
who was an inveterate punster, that pun
ning was the lowest sort Of wit. at is
So" answered be-"and therefore the
foundation Of witt
A GENTLEMAN named Allen Hannah
m urisd Miss Hannah Allen, now Miss
II ,nnah Allen is Mrs, Hannah Hannah,
probably the only lady In the world
whose whole name can be spelled back
ward the same ~ forward
HEyERENp sportsman was once boast
ing of he infallibility 10 finding hare.
"if / were a bare" said = Quaker who
was present, Il would take my seat 10 a
Rlara where | th1uld ha sure Ol not being