The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1877-10-04
EVERYDAY SPICERIES.

SNORING is now politely described as
indulging in sheet music.
FIVE aces were developed in game
of poker at Waco, Texas, between Jack
Smith and One-eyed Jim. The Coroner
is proceeding with his duties as referee.
A MICHIGAN widow recently hid her
COW away under the bed to save it from
the tax-collector. This may be called
genuine case of cow-hiding by a
female"
A SICK man in New Orleans was told
by the doctor that nothing would save
him except a quart of catnip tea.
"Then 1 must die" said the poor man,
" for don't hold but pint"
1t makes a boy heart-sick as the win
ter's wood begins to loom up in steadily
growing piles in the back yard, and he
sees his mother making preparations for
organizing him into "a workingman's
party"
AUTUMN.
The summers breath is faint upon the hills,
Her feet are weary in the wales and woods,
And autumn with drowsy incense fills
The n6OKs and gfzties and irzzty .eiitsaes===---
Soft on the grassy bank the sunshine sleeps;
The air wealth of misty radiance holds;
Nature with dreamy eyes her vigil keeps,
And all the scene in pensive beauty folds.
A MODEL wife: She never wasted
solitary thing. Let a cat die around our
house, and the first thing you know
Mary Jane d have muff and a set of
furs, and Pd begin to find mince pies on
the dinner table.
IT kind O. gives us all pleasant thrill
to hear an English doctor remark that
he never knew a fool to have a cold in
his head. How's your nose, neighbor?
Detroit Free Press. Never had a
worse case than now.-Neaoark Call.
Two tramps stopped at the house of
lone widow, and one went in to beg.
Very soon he came out with black
eye. "Well, did you get anything,
Jack?" asked the other. Yes" growled
the poor sufferer, 81 got the widows
might"
NEIGHBoRLY.-"Can't stop minute;
baby's crying; but just ran over to tell
you that Mrs. Jones's husband came
home a moment ago just as tight as
he could be. Only think! Must go
knew you were not at the window to see
him get home. Awful! Goodbye, love-.
A MAJOR in the United States army
was crossing from England in one of
the Cunard steamers, when one after
noon band on deck played +. Yankee
Doodle" A gruff Englishman, who
stood by, inquired whether that was the
tune the old COW died of. "Not at all "
retorted the major, I" that is the tune
the old Bull died of"
MAMMA (who has been quietly watch
ing certain surreptitious proceedings)--
Willie, who helped you to the cakem
Willie (promptly)-Hebben, mamma"
Mamma (sternly) =" Sh-sh-sh, you
naughty boyl how dare you tell such
stories?' Willie -"'Taint my fault if
it is tory, ma. Didn't pa tell begger-
man Eat hebben helped those Eat helped
zemselvesw
A MAN picked up purse in the street
one day, and advertised the fact. In
ten days he was visited by sixty-one
men, women, boys and girls, all claim
ing to have lost money. The sum found
was but eleven dollars; but of each Wis
| itor who called, the finder asked: So
you lost fifty dollars, did your Nine
tenths of the applicants promptly re-
piled, "Yes, sir"
THERE is always room for man of
force, and he makes room for many.
Society is a group of thinkers, and the
best heads among them take the best
places. A feeble man can see the farms
that are fenced and titled, and the houses
that are built. The strong man sees the
possible houses and farms. His eye
makes estates as fast as the sun breeds
clouds.
RHINEBEcK Gazette: Summer, with
all its pleasures, is fast fading. What is
there equal to summer afternoon
We enjoy them ever SO much. We
take our paper and go off in the quiet
fields and lie beneath the cool shade of
an evergreen tree. And when the
drowsy god o'ercomes us, we lie on our
back and dream the happy hours away
until garter snake crawls on our chin
and reminds us that this world is real
in everything pertaining to it.
HERE is a Turkish fable: Abdullah
went to the residence of Nasereddin tc
borrow his mule. Nasereddin, who was
a ready lender, said that the mule was
not at home. At that moment the mule
brayed loud enough to wake the echoes
"What did you say Nasereddin, thai
your mule was not at home-but | heaI
him." eco thy way, false Abdullah,
said his neighbor, you are not tru'
friend, for you believe the mule and re