The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1877-11-08
EVERYDAY sPICERIEs.


EAsToN Free Press: 1t is no particular
credit for a man to die game. A rabbit
can do the same thing.
Now with pumpkins the fields are golden,
And the woodland is sere and gray,
= And the buckwheat conneth to usher in
The dawn of batter day.
WORCESTER Press: A new bracelet
has tiny muac-box concealed in the
clasp. The beauty of the thing is that
a fellow must have it pretty close to his
ear in order to hear it.
YoNKERs Gazette: A London tailor
has this sign in his window: "No Amer
| lean orders taken without a deposit"
Above bar in Chicago may be read:
No trust for alleged English noble
men"
| A DETROIT lady kept her little
daughter at home from school the other
day on account of a storm, and the ener-
getic female teacher sent another little
girl, pupil, without an umbrella,
through the driving rain-storm to ascer-
tain the cause of the absence.
BosroN Post It is stated on excellent
authority that one of Anna Dickinson's
offers of marriage which she didn't ac-
cept was made by General B. F. Butter.
That shows excellent judgment both in
General Butler and Miss Dickinson.
OLD Walton said: ga woman's kiss is
like a fish-hookn Probably an allusion
to the "bated breath. - Graphic.
Wrong again, Graphicl The old fellow
meant that when you get it In your
mouth, it seems as if it ought to stay
there.-PhiI. Bulletin.
WORCESTER Press: A tipsy book agent
declared that he and Neal Dow drank
brandy and water together on Sound
| steamer. When he was confronted by
the wrathful apostle of temperance the
fellow explained that he drank the
brandy and Dow the water.
DIR. DoBBs is female physician in
regular practice in st. Louis. She wears
trousers confined at the bottom rather
closely, garment in place of coat
which is neither coat nor cloak, and a
hat which is neither male nor female in
character, but compromise between
the two. She takes sun baths, and has
immensely high fences surrounding her
house.
THE Russians are evidently suffering
severely from sickness in the Dobrudscha.
Phil Press. We've had pains in our
head, pains in our stomach, and pains
everywhere else, save in our Dobrudscha.
Thank heaven we're all right there yet.
When mans Dobrudscha gives out,
he'd better measure his length on the
ground and send for an undertaken.
He's gone, sure.-Netoark Courier.
BosroN Journal: An exquisite leading
a dog by string, lounged up to the
ticket Office window of railway station,
| and INQUIRED: "Must aw-take a
a ticket for puppyTn He was natu-
rally both surprised and annoyed when
i the ticket seller answered, in a slightly
bewildered tone, and after moments
reflection: "No, you can travel as an
ordinary passenger"
TWAS ever thus, from childhood's time,
I've seen my fondest hopes decay,
Ineer sent in little rhyme
But what it was returned next day
L never offered cen verse,
poem, ballad, sonnet, A
But what and oft with muttered curse,
'' ''''''- r-' ''s N Y Commercial
. YoNKERs' Gazette: A boy came along
to one of our neighbours houses holding
a very dirty dog, and asked the gentle
man of the house: Don't you want to
buy a dog, misterp' "What kind of q
dog is itT asked the gentleman. The
boy looked puzzled. "Wel, said he,
ait is part terrier" :" And what is the
rest w asked the gentleman. "The rest"
answered the boy, "why, the rest is
is just dog"
DANBURY Ne,rs: The tomato is what
: NAV be called a self-made vegetable,
and in this particular deserves, per
haps, a higher degree of respect than
!, can be accorded to any plant. 1t came
to this country in the humblest circum-
!, stances, being brought here as food for
swine, but through pure merit 1t has
risen from an obscure origin to the front
rank in the vegetable kingdom. Ii
: merely shows us what true worth Will
, accomplish in the most adverse circum-
stances.
: ROME IN. W Sentinel: The Fifth
> Ward gentleman who left church SC
suddenly last Sunday was not sick, as
! his friends feared at the time. That
= forenoon, Just before service, ne visited
his barn to see that his horse had beer
properly cared for, and finding new
laid egg he put it in his coat tail pocket
S The recollection that the egg was still
n in his pocket prompted him to stea
n away from the congregation to make In
r yestigations, and we regret to say tina
e his worst fears we're realized.
u TEXAS IDYL.
n Not drum was heard, nor funeral note,
= As his corpse to the outskirts they hurr1edi
n Not ranger discharged his farewell shot
h Der the grave where the stranger was buried
e They buried him darkly, at dead of night,
o And without any pomp or pageant;
Il As they shoveled him liz, hey said "All right,
He was only lghtning-rod agent =,
le A LADY reader of the Bulletin says
, "Were YOU not mistaken when you II
u y formed the public, through your papel
y that Abraham was the first auctionee
u =, when he put Isaac up for sacrifice
= If remember right some two thousan
~ years previous to that occurrence Cal
u. assumed the role of auctioneer when h
~ knocked down Abel" l."-Boston Bultetil
-, - The Herald has positive informatio
lP that Eve was the first auctioneer whe
y. w she put up Adam and sold him witfra
g s' apple.-M Y Herald.
In HENDERSON Press A couple was ma
at ried in Georgia by justice of the peac
lal Unto the man he said: "Sir, will yc
us have the beloved woman you hold
as the right hand, in the name of Georgi
N Cobb County, and the new Constitutio
IN whether it be adopted or not, to be yo'
IN lawful welded wifef' And to the W
os- man he said: Madam, will you Ia
ad this man to be your lawful husbal
nd under the Constitution of the Unit
les States and the Constitution Of Georgl
no matter who is Presidentws