The Bennington daily banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1877-1877, 1877-08-10

On ..Snmmerp Write only on one side Of the
paper, please We want the otner side to
write editorials on.
Now is TIE Tina when fly settles on a
mans nose, and the man makes grab at the
| fiv. and then opens his hand. one finger at n
time, while the happy fly is contentedly
crawling over the butter.
When an Indiana girl gets tired Of a 10y
er and determines to dismiss HIM, she dnesn't
throw much freScO work into her speech. u
| guess you can pull OFT now. Sam, is her icy
remark; "this egg won't hatch"
Darwin savs1a monkey takes after q
man moro than any !other living thing.
take after amanD more than monkey does.
A tiger, or a cross dog, for instance.
Much has been said against the accorde-
on. but the first evening alter young man
who pructiced on one moved iatO the second
floor of a house on Union street, smile lit
UP the face Of an aged man who Jay in sick
ness on the floor above. lie said he is now
recOneiled to death.
1t is all very fine to laugh ut a wOmens
Lantrums when mouse makes its appear
ance in the vicinity Of her skirts; but lit
tie merriment should be reserved for man
| who plays circus while o June bug is walk
ing up the inside of his trousers leg with
the slow and measured tread Of day Ia
bOrer.
Even postal cards may get man into
perplexities, As a consequence of young
mau's instruction Of two of them, a SYRIA
cuse shirt firm got an invitation to take q
carriage drive by moonlight, and the gal
lants girl was requested to send him sam
PIE of the stuff of which her shirts were
made.
1t is utterly impossible for man 10 go to
a clothes closet without knocking down ev-
cry hat hung up there. 1t is terribly exas-
perating to hear them go down and to teel
them knocking against ones legs, and 1t u
surprising that 10 one has Thought TO invent
hook which will hold the hat with the
grasp of death. Some people run an iron rod
through the hat and secure the rod on the
outside of the house. This is a sure device,
but requires considerable time. and mars the
appearance of the house. When woman
has hung up three hats in o row and got
broken ribbed umbrella with n hook handle
to lay across them she has struck one Of the
deadliest blows ever given to domestic
| peace.
The men who expect a minister to give
| them 81 500 worth of grace for $500 salary
are the same ones who demand local notices
in their home paper for nothing, and do
their advertising on Novelty press hand
bills.
Concerning the fact that the exact location
of BurgOyne's surrender is unknown, the
Port Chester Journal says: I'VE understand
| that he didn't surrender IN any particular
spot; he surrendered all over"
The statement that the coal fields of the
world will be exhausted in two thousand
years, bringsn no permanent sOlace to the man
VINO has TO carry the present daily supply
for the family up three pair Of stairs.
An impression has prevailed that the
weakest and least interesting papers, as q
rule die first, but II is now ascertained by
our statlstieian that no less than thirly-fOur
Journals which have chewed the pnlverized
soil this year were regularly contributed TO
by Mr.. 7. DalzelL This shows that il is the
wisest papers that perish, and that they
spread their angel wings because of the lg-
nOrance Of the people.
1t is binding on an Iowa farmer who has
spent $500 and half his time killing eighty
nine million grasshOppers on his farm, to
| learn that the Rrassb0pper crop that has Just
reached maturity in the Black Hills is sufii-
cient to cover the whole United States to o
depth of three inches, and il moving in the
direction of Iowa with neatness and dis
patch,
This is the season of the year when the
average clerk talks carelessly for a tew days
about Saratoga, Long Branch, and other
| fashionable watering places, buys another
twenty-five cent white tie. packs his vallse,
bids all his friends adleu. and slides carefully
up the back streets, and takes the stage up
the country TO help the old folks get hay for
u week or two.
| She was sitting on porch at Saratoga,
and her buff percale over her bit of white
DetticOat looked cool as winter sunset over
snowy horizon. Her blue eyes were
/ large and luminous; roses had blushed on
the cream of her cheek; her lips were the
color of raspberries rare ripe, and when she
was asked to 90 into dinner she said, :" No,
it makes my jaws ache So"
a Boston paper says a girl who makes
herself too cheap is one to be avoided.
Cheap girls attract nobody but fools
and rascals." Remember this, parents, when
your daughter asks you for twenty-five dol
lars for new bonnet, and Won feel like
calling her " an expensive girl" aud think O
dollars worth of trimming on her old bonnet
is good enough.
They were walking arm III arm up Middle
street, last evening, and Just ahead of them
was woman in a new Princesse dress. The
setting sun was gliding the western heaven
all the earth. He said, in o subdued tone
" Isn't 1t lovely I" well, / don't know y
was the reply of his fair companion; II don't
think the trimming matches very well, and
It doesn't fit her for anything" He shud.
dered.
When tine porter IN one Of the CHEAP Full
ton boarding houses showed gent to bis
room the other evening, the stranger, aftel
scrutinizing the surroundings for q moment
drew the sheet up over the pillows. "'Fraid
OF soiling them ~ q1eried th@ attendent
No, but was afraid / might get them il
my ear sighed the guest as he bid the por
ter good night and began to intuition hi
suspenders.
If you are stung by wasp while picnic
ing" says floating item. apply the end Of
a cigar which has BEEN ehewed for few mo
ments to the wound" Young ladies sboulC
remember this, and always chew the end o.
cigar few moments and place the weed
~ their pockets, before starting on picnic
The chewing process will make them so sicl
that they will not want to go to the picnic
and thus they VIII not be stung by wasp.
A Hackensack man was last midnigh
creeping softly along the bedroom floor, anC
: he was feeling tendeTly under the bureau fO
a something he bad hidden there the eyenini
before but his wife woke and said, peter
what under the heavens are you doing 4
Dear" said he. Pm walking in my sleeJ
and dreaming that | am plucking water Ill
lies from the soft, blue bosom of the lake.
How to. get that flask out Of there before sh,
, got up in the morning was what Worried
him more than the water lilies did.
{ A scientific exchange tells Glow to Shoe
{ Dog" This is valuable and timely bit O
4 information. Some persons shoot dog will
{ q pitchfOrk; Others take a club and NOR
! discharge a brick at him; while few shoe
4 the animal with q base ball bat, The scien
4 y
: him with a revolver, or n rifle, or a shot Quu
Z Ii must be admitted that these weapons nav
: some advantages over those first named.
One Of our citizens of an observing and ex
/ perimental turn OF mind found a toad upo
: his door step recently, aud in order to dis
: cover whether 1t could hear we'll got dow
upon his knees and made different noises /
. test the question. The toad bore the nols,
: and took part in the experiment with sucl
unfiagRing good nature, that the inquire
was working up considerable interest IN tn
matter. when he happened to look up an
g found himself surrounded bya crowd q
z people who were specializing among them
4 selves whether be was crazy or simpl
drunk.
. Miss COrisande was born only two year
\ earlier than her brother Tom. When Tor
: was ten years old she gloried because an
4 was twelve. When Tom was known TO b
. fourteen she confessed TO sweet sixteer
i When Tom proudly boosted Of eighteen, 81
. timidly acknowledged herself past nineteeT
4 When he came home from college, with
|. m0ustache aud vote, and had a party i
I. honor Of his twenty-first birthday, sue sal
\ to her friends. what a bOyish fellow he Is
!. who would think that he was only YEA
Q younger than III And when Tom declares