The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1877-01-25

No, would not III i COULD
| Oh, wouldn't fret about 1t,
80 For I could not II would"
AN Elgin, ILL.,, newspaper has this adj
vertisement: " Found-A buckskin nit
ten. If the owner will leave the other at
this office he will greatly oblige the
finder"
No expression of the human counter
ance can equal the look of lonesome
amazement that flashes over the face O"
the solitary oyster at finding himself
scooped up in gallon of church sociable
soup.
BURLINGTON Ha,vk-Eye: 1t is singular
that Parrhassius, after such an expense
of money and cruelty in getting a study
of intense physical agony for his Prone
theus, never thought of the simpler and
more satisfactory method of watching
man with cold blister on his lip trying
to stife a laugh.
AN exchange would be pleased to hear
of a social gathering that WAS not a
recherche affair."" that was not attended
by the "elite" and the Serene de La
creme" where the refreshmeDt tables
did not " literally groan under their load
of good things" and where the "vOtaries
of Terpsichore" "didn't trip the light
fantastic till the "wee sma' hours"
A PARIsIAN journal, of date Novem-
Der 81, 1890, published the following
epigram, which, after the lapse of eighty
six years, is still neat enough:
Friend, would yon know what, at this minute,
Manner OF Government France has In itf
'Tis elective, despotic democratic,
After fashion aristocretic
Absurd, impolitic, and anarchical-
All, in word, except monarchical.
II is barbarous to compel children to
eat fat meat, lean meat, Or anything else
to which they have repugnance or un-
conquerable antipathy; you might as
wisely try to make a kitten eat white
beans, or chicken drink salt water.
WHEN boy was asked, "What was
the text this morningw He replied, ut
was somewhere in hatchets." In
hatchets? No, it was in Acts" "Well,
Iknew it was something that would cut"
said the boy triumphantly.
IT is no uncommon experience to
meet with cases in which damage has
been done to the bodily constitution by
indulging too recklessly in athletic ex-
ercises and active physical exertion when
the muscles have become fabby and
feeble from disuse. A man accustomed
to sedentary pursuits takes suddenly to
boating, or running, or the horizontal
bar. and, if he escapes strainipg his heart,
he is certain to make himself stiff and
uncomfortable.
The merry jingle of the sleigh bells,
the sparkle of the crystal snow in the
lamb bent light of the moon, and the con-
fiding creature that nestles close beside
him beneath the buffalo robes, tenderly
clasping his left hand i'll hers while his
right holds the reins, constitutes the
winter nights poem that is hoating
through the dOting lovers soul, and
leaves him in doubt whether to let go long
enough to get his handkerchief out, or
draw his coat sleeve across his nose.
SOME suppose that every learned man
is an educated man. No such thing.
That man is educated wlo knows him
self, and takes accurate, common sense
views Of men and things around him.
Some very learned men are the greatest
fools in the world; the reason is they are
not educated men. Learning is the
means, not the end its value consists in
giving the means of acquiring, the use
of which, properly managed, enlightens
the soul.
BROOKLYN Argus: James w. Nye,
called Jim" for short, the whiiom
Momus of the United States Senate, is
dead. His life was not poem, but
sort of undulating prose that resembled
poetry as gin resembles water. Through
the cracks and crannies OF his character
came flashes of imprisoned sunshine that
warmed and illuminated every stage OF
his career, and in memory of which both
friends and foes will unite to inscribe as
his most fitting epitaph: "Here lies
good fellow"