The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-09-06
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

SENSE AND NONSENSE
SPIRITED CREATIONS BARR room talk.
THE debtors chorus -Forgive and for
get.-N. Y. Weekly.
ARIsToCRAr "A plcbcian who has made
his way in the world.
If somebody did not keep late hours
they might he all lost.
The poker-playcr's favorite turn. out
Four in-hand.-N. Y. CJNssnes eial Adver-
tiesr.
WoxAN's faith is sublime-cspecially
when she's trying to get No. 8 shoe ON q
No. Z foot.
BOsToN strcct-cars have placarls to this
effect: "This car can't wait for ladies' to
kiss good. byc!"
SEC'Y EvARTs, 1t Is said, suggests for
the White House portal the motto, Many
call, but few arc chosen"
Why cannot two slender persons ever
become great friends? Because they will
always be slight acquaintance.
EVEN the dogs complain of the hard
times. It is the tin panic that affects
them.-1xrner's Falls Reporter.
JENNIE COLLINS says there arc seventy
five crafts open to women. This does not
include bOat-racing or their usual craft.
In two recent attempts To sound the
Northern Ocean with lines one mile and
ahalf in length, no bottom could Ike found.
ONE of the things that most annoys and
hinders the American business man is the
fact that there is no way in tho world to
get down his diuner in less than seven
minutcs.-Chicaoo Eoeaing Journal.
"PRAY, Mr.. Professor, what is peri
phrasis?'' I" Madam, 1t is simply q cir
cumlOcutOry cycle of Oratorical sonOrosity,
circumscribing an atom of idcality, lost in
verbal prOfundity." "Thank you, sir. !"
AN exchange tells how the joke was on
him: "a bright little girl of our acquaint-
ance asked US the following cOnundrum:
How many letters arc there in a post.
mans bag! We gave it up, and she said
there were thrcc-b-a.g.'
THE Virginia Gazette, discussing the
political situation, cries: "Sct aside the
small men and self. appointed leaders.
Give us giant!' Gentlemen, some of
you hold our coat. Now, then, what do
you want done first !-Burlington Uaaok.
Eye.
LECTURER ON looking at the thor.
momctcr We find that, our cndeavOrs not.
outstanding, there is still no increase in
the temperature. How shall we now pro-
coed? Son of Erin astily)-ShoOr I'd
warrum the thermometer, sOrri-L0ndoa
Fun.
The Providence Pres makes honorable
mention of young man, clerk in q coal
yard in that city, who was married on q
Thursday evening, and did not go on q
wedding trip, but was at his place of
business as usual at five o'clock FRIDAY
morning.
A FRENcHMAN, soliciting relief, said,
very gravcly, to his fair nearer:
Ma'msclle, 1 never beg, but dat have
you wife with several small family, dat
is growing very large and nosing to make
der bread out of but tho perspiratiOn of
NV Drow."
No TRUE millincr ever fixes stated
price on bonnet. To-day, if you are not
very we'll dressed, and 20 in and ask
How much Is this bonnet!' the woman
willsay, "This is eight dollars, madame -
but tomorrow, when you sally in, dressed
up. and leaning on the arm of your be.
loved, the woman will say of that same
hat: Here is something very stylish,
miss, and it is only twelve dollars. "-Er.
change.
SOME Europeans do not at first take
kindly to green corn. When I meet one,
and with an indication as to how far he
has become Americanized, l ask, do
you like green c0rn!" If the answer is
in the affirmative, am sure that he will
remain in the country. Our great abund-
ance OF Tomatoes, our water melons, Oul
huge blackbcrries, ind other peculiar
AnNorSoOr SNpsnI,,OtS q,
accept much sooner than they do our
the rounds of the papers which showed
Pats view of this favorite vegetable. Al
our hotels green corn is set before each
person as q matter of course; a newly.ar
rived 1rishman, seeing that others partOOk
of it, gnawcd away at his corn with much
satisfaction. When he had notaiog but
bare cObs" lift, he called to tic attend.
ant" Waither, an will we be afthel
putin some more pays on these sthicksr'
Cor. Inter. OCEAN.
A GRANDFATHER was the other dsy
amicably chatting with his granddaughter
who was seated ON his knee. "Whai
makes your hair SO white, grandpapa 81
the little maiden asked g / am very old,
my dear; was in the Ark" said he
with a reckless disregard for truth which
docs not prep0s Jess one in his favor
"Oh!' said her little ladyship, regarding
her distinguished relative with fresh in.
tcrcst, "Arc you Noah ?" "No, 1 am
not Noah" ''Are you Shcm, then p
NO, I am not Shcm." "Are you
Ham. =" "No, am not even Ham"
"Thcn you must be Japhct," insisted the
little maiden, at the end of her historical
tether, and growing somewhat impatient
with the difficulty which surrounded hel
aged relatives Identification. mo, am
not Japhet." said he, wagging his head
intensely enjoying the joke. "Then
grandpapa," said the little maiden firmly
and dccisivcly, "you are beastl'
"No MORE business for me-" said q
manufacturer, the other evening, who has
been in tho habit Of employing about sixty
men and over thirty women and children
mo more business for me! Four years
ago supposed myself worth 500, 600.
have kept my workshops open at a los:
mer there seemed 10 be nice little chance
for fresh start in the fall, and kept my
men on making goods which l might have
thrown in the street for all the hope Of
getting any money for them. And, by
GcOrgcl when the strike came they struck
knowing all the time that the wages the,
were paid every Saturday night were NO
earned by profitable work, but taken bud
lily out Of the savings of thirty years. ]
told them that if that was their game II
strike TOO, and close up shop, and 90
have; and I've advertised for farm
which I'm going to buy and live upon
Wifc's quite willing; We were both Of u
raiscsl on farm, and I'll never touch bust