The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1877-09-20
EVERYDAY sPICER1Es.

My liverl
EVERYDAY SPICERIES.
A GOOD little boy who was kicked by
mule did not say naughty words or go
home crying to his mother. He Just
tied the mule within five feet of bee
hive, backed him round to it and let him
kick.
BRIDGEPORT Standard: The United
States army is being rapidly put on a
! war footing. Two more soldiers have
reported for duty at st. Louis and a
man in the hospital with sore leg will
be ready for business in less than fort
night.
INTO THE WORLD AND OUT.
Into the world he looked with great surprise.
The children laughed so when they saw his eyes.
Into the world rosy hand in doubt
He reached ;-apale hand took one rosebud out.
"And that was all quite all" No. surelyI But
The children cried so when his eyes were shut
Mrs. Pidt, in Scribner.
IT is told of the father of Herr
Teufelsdrockh that he used to recount
in his old age how the great Frederick
had once spoken to him. When asked
what it was that sthe king had said, he
admitted that it was, "Get out of my
way, dogl"
THE shores Of Lake Erie were re-
Gently visited by tidal wave. As it
was not among the Probabilities" in
the daily papers, there was great excite
ment, until dispatch from Put-in-Bay
arrived, announcing that the Fat Mems
Association had just gone in bathing.
A NOVEL decoration was worn the
other day by recruit in the Austrian
service. When passing muster the SER
geant asked him what order he was
wearing. The recruit blushed deeply
and stammered: "The medal which was
given to our COW at the late agricultural
exhibition"
JOHN FROST, ex-magistrate and char
tist leader, sentenced to death for high
treason, and transported for life, in
1S39-40, died at Stapleton, near Bristol,
aged ninety-six, in July 1877.
The Frost that fire to stand at Newport did aspire,
And failed, to his cost,
For ninety wears and six withsood Lies hotter fire,
And yet continued Frost! Punch.
THE Londonderry Journal gives the
following instance of pulpit bull: A
clergyman preaching a sermon on death,
concluded with the following observa-
tion: But even death, my brethren, SO
well deserved by mankind for their sins,
the wisdom of Providence has, in its pa
ternal kindness, put at the end of our
existence; for only think what life
x,,o,,Il IL ,,,o,+b 6aofb rrara M tho ba-
ginning"
WE believe there is marketmen's
prayer-meeting held every day, but we
have not heard of any petition offered
yet for the hardened sinner who charged
us for eleven pounds of beef last spring,
and trimmed it down to eight before he
sent it home. As for the lost wretch
who put two little old withered hens
upon us for thirty-fve cents a pound,
as spring chickens, he is probably past
praying for.
NoRRIsTowN Herald: Miss Mac
Mahon, of Stoire, Vermont, who is one
hundred and one years of age, was dis
covered the other day at the tub doing
her weekly washing. This comes of
living life of single blessedness. Ii
Miss MacMahon had married some kind,
loving heart when she was in her twen-
ties, She might have worked herself to
death before reaching the age of fifty
years, and thus escaped hard labor at the
wash-tub in her old age.
THE RUSSIAN LOVERS PARTING.
Without thee am poor indeed,
But with thee am rich;
Oil wOuldst thou make heart TO DleeQ,
Beloved TZazkoskoyitch?
Tzazkoskcvitch Ehihelankof
As from her arms he tore,
Burst two suspender buttons OIL,
Which rolled upon the floor.
"Keep them," he cried in piteous tone.
"And think of me my love-"
Then turned, and madly fed his own
-Andretes Bazdr.
M. LABoUcHERE says he observed
lately the following little scene in res
taurant at the seaside. Two gentlemen
had had a tolerably good dinner and
were looking at the bill. There was q
mistake in it. In lieu of two bottles of
champagne which had been consumed
the waiter had charged for only one.
"Shall we point out the thingF says
one, probably the more scrupulous.
"Well," replied the other, after mo-
ment of doubt, "we had better not; the
waiter would be sure to be scolded, poor
felloww
ARCHIE CAMPBELL, the head of the
old town guard of Edinburgh, was a
somewhat remarkable man in his way.
His old mother died, and Archie, being
well to do in money matters, resolved to
take her back to her native place in the
Highlands, and did so. Thinking it a.
great pity to be taking the hearse back
to Edinburgh empty, he thought of
the plan of sending few gallons of
real small-stiff smuggled whisky, which
he could easily sell to the members of
the town council with a good profit. Af-
ter his feelings of regret had got some
what blunted by years, he used to think
it good joke to say DER his toddywith.
some of his cronies: took AVA the
hody and hrouuht hack the sneerit -