davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1877-02-24
Lecture on Soap Fat.
Belubbed ladies fust and gemmer
arter all:

Belubbed ladies lust and Semmen
arter all:
/ makes bold to open de intellectual
pints ob my lecture dis ebenin, TO de
fundamental understanding ob all de
brederin oh dis light-complsxioned con
gregation. If dere be any here what
am styled and looked upon by demisels
in de glass as quadroons, dey am entl-
tied to de fust consideration, for dey am
always dal,in in fat-dat am soapja.
Now, | am goin' to take noiin tor
s'posin; case when my mudder lubs me
don't take it for s'posin, so I'm gwine
to start right off wild an association, an,
dat association am dis soAr-rAr AN
sOAP-FAT!
Now, gemmen, jest take yer squizzin
glasses out, an glance ober de hist'ry
oh de past myriad OBJ ages-de ladies
needn't, case dey don't wear squlzzin'
glasses-look ober the crownomocology
oh de past time aud see-see if you can
i dare you to see-when soap-fat
wasn't soap-fat Massa George Ogram-
ply tell us-an he was learned man
dat dere is one country in de great
Rope walk oh de oder world dat am all
made OBJ soap fat. De intellectual func-
tions OBJ de spiritual formation widdin
us, if he bent drunk and sleepy, tells us
dat country is none less dan Greece.
Now dats one pint, aud clear as de
cork is on de end oh de corkscrew; an
bredercn, it mounts to dis-for Ibe
been studyin it out all de mornin, an
ought TO know by dis tine-dat is an
incontrowertable fact If all oh you
amt OBJ de same mind, respect de lee
turer an keep yer mind TO yerself, or III
be in my rile like de great ship Lsria
than come down on you.
In de fust place, soap am soap; den
so also am fal, fat For if soap am soap,
an fat am fat, soap-fat am soap-fat. So
much for dat. So sed de vulgar mig
yer when de beer measure run ober
Again, or 10 de next place, If dere
air't great deal too much ob soapf fat
bout US, what's de reason dat men trab-
el de streets wild tin pans Oh dere arms,
crying "Soap-fat soap-fat = III tell
you de reason, belubbed iock-but you
must stop shakin' your dresses bout so,
case if you do so, III stop and take an
oder drink.
Oar, dat am right; jest settle down in
yer fat, an be contented dat dere's plen-
ty oh soap to be made. / know deres
a vulgar idea perwadin de obstropalour
inventive genus OBJ de male gender, dat
nofn can be done widout soap. Now,
soap am great ting, but few dere be
dat know fer wbat it's made. Dey call
soap money, or money soap; an IN one
sense, dat am clear to all obskruse-min-
ded pussons, money am about as slip
perry as soap, wet-dat is, soft-soap.
Sebenteenthly and third, soap am
great inwention; for de poets hab sed TO
Us after dey war dead 'Lucious am de
soperiic influences" an we all know
what soft-soap is-'tis Oh de same con-
sistency OBJ de 0der-natured soaps.
Fifty -ssbentlIly. De reason dat l say
am fat is case all tings dat am good am
denoted in dis learned community as
fat tincs, an de reason dat fat am fat,
is case We know It's nothing else. Now
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1877-02-24
UNDERWRITERS
NOTICE.

THE undersigned informs the public
/ that r. 5. VI. Hoffman is no longer his
in the above business. ] will con-
tinue the business, keeping on hand Il
full assortment of CASkETS and cor
FINS, ready for use, upon reasonable
terms. Thankful for the patronage OF
the past, respectfully aska continuance
of same. Mr.. Jacob Ferrell is my au-
thorized Agent, and will attend 10 the
business during my absence.
METALLIC CASKErS furnished.
IL. +. CAMERON.
January 18th, 1877. II
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1877-02-24
MILLIN ERI.

JHAVE just returned from Baltimore,
L and now opening all the latest styles of
Millinery, consisting of Hats, Feathers,
Flowers, Silks, Ribbons, jet and Steel
Ornaments; also Hosiery, Gloves, Spool
Cotton, Needles, Pins, st. invite the
Ladies to call at my residence (West-End)
and examine my Goods, hoping to merit
custom by strict application to business,
and readiness to please.
All who may wish goods ordered, have
their orders in by Saturday afternoon of
each week.
New Hats, Feathers, Ornaments, Che
nile Dotted Net, Brussels Net, Navy Blue
and Smoked Yelling.
VI. l.. HERRINGTON.
Oct 2S If
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1877-02-24

f.000 CAN'T be made by every agent
SJJJ every month in the business we
furnish, but those willing to work can
easily earn Il dozen dollars day in their
own localities. Have no room to explain
here. Business pleasant and honorable.
Women, and boys and girls do rs well as
men. We will furnish you a complete
Outfit free. The business pays better
than anything else. We will bear expense
of starting you. Particulars free. Write
and see. Farmers and Mechanics, their
sons and daughters, and all classes in need
of paying work at home, should write to
us and learn all about the work at once.
Now is the time. Don't delay. Address
TRUE 4 CO..
Augusta, Maine.
Jan. 27. 1877. "
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1877-02-24
Seventy-one Years of Ace.

EAST MARSHFiELD, Aug ~ 1870.
Mn. STEVENS, = Doar Sir: ! am seventy-one
years of age; have suffered many years with
kidney Complaint, weakness In my back and
stomach. WAS induced by friends 10 Try your
EEGrriSE. and | think ii II the best medicine
for weakness Of the kidneys | ever used. l
have tried many remedies for this complaint,
AMI never found so much relief rs from Tho
NEGEriNE. IL strengthens AMI inTigoratcs tho
whole system. Many 81 my ncqusintances havo
taken II, and believe IL 10 be good for all the
complaints for which II is recommended.
Yours truly, JOSIAH II. SHERMAN.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1877-02-24
SEWING MACHINE
NEEDLES.
HOWE, Singer, Grover & Baker,
IL Wheeler & Wilson, Needles, are
kept constantly on hand, at
HERR IL ENTLERS.
Jan 81 II
HERR & ENTLER

WISH to inform the public that they
w have added to their stock of goods the
following articles: Table Cutlery, all
grades; Gents and Boys Pocket Knives; !;
Butcher Knives; 4 superior quality OF
Scissors: Germantown Woods; Zephry
Yarn: Nv Wife's Ruflling: Ladies RuifS; ;
Ladies, Gents and Children's Fancy,
Hose; Hemstitched, Fancy, Bordercd
and Plain Linen HANDKERCHlEFS;
Gents and Boys Gloves; Plaid Break
fast S IL \ W LIS; Ladies Silk lies,
very pretty; Gents Silk Bows and wide
end Ties; Ladies Rubber Bracelets; SIX
and other Dress Buttons Cloak Trimming
and Buttons: Skirt Braid; Coat and Vest
Buttons; Pearl Buttons; Common But
tons all styles; Knitting Cotton; Crochet
Needles; superior lot of Gents anu Boys
Suspenders; Ladies and Gents Collars
and Cuffs; Ladies Belts; Il nice line OF
Edgings; Ribbons; Long Combs; Grand
Duchess Fine Cologne; Beauty Pearl for
the complexion; Fancy Toilet Soaps
Gents Watch Chains; Sleeve Buttons,
Pearl and Sold Plated Sets; Ladies Jett
Sets; Shoe Polish; French and Mason 5
Backing; Shoe Tacks and Thread; Fish
inc Hooks and Lines. Call i'll and look at
our goods. We will sell for CASH only
i'm the future: and have put our goods ut
their lowest figure. Thankful for past
favOrs, we ask Il larger share OF tie puotlc
patronage in the future.
Respectfully.
HERR IS ENTLER.
Jan. 81, 1877. II.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1877-02-24
Reliable Evidence.

Mr.. II. X. SrEvENs.- Dear Sir: I will most
cheertully add my testimony to tho great NUM-
Der you have already received in favor of your
great and good medicine, VEGETISE. for do
not think enough can lie said In its praise. for
was troubled over 70 years with that dreadful
disease, Caiarrh, aud had such lad coughing
spells that IL would seem as though / never
could breath any moro, and VEGETISE has
cured me, and ! do feel 10 thank God all tho
time that there is so good a medicine "a VICE.
TINE, and also think it one Of the best ncdi-
cincs for coughs and weak, sinking feelings at
the stomach, AMI advise everybody to take tho
NEGETiNE, for | can assure item il is Que Of
the best medicines that ever was
Mrs. l.. GORE
Cor. Magazine and Walnut ST.
Cambridge Mass.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1877-02-24
All Diseases of the Blood.

II NrGTTISE will relieve pain, cleanse, purify
anil such diseases, restoring the Iateui 10
perfect health after trying different physicians,
many remedies, suffering for years, is it not com
elusive prnof, II you are sufferer. you can DO
cnrc." Why is this medicine performing such
grea, cures? II works in the blood. In tho
cirru!.tins iIuid. IL can truly DC called tho
GREAT BLOOD PURIFIER. The great source
of disease originates in the blood; and no med
icine Ihat docs not act directly upon H. 10 purify
and rem"rate, has any Just claim upon public
aiienliOn.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1877-02-24
SUCCESS
Unprecedented Merit.

II. r. STEVENS, Esq. Dear Sir: For many
years | have been afflicted with humor in the
blord which finally developed into Srald Head,
aad oulv ih0Se who are similarly afflicted can
realize the disagrecable suffering one is COM
PEELED To endure with this complaint. For :
long time my head was in dreadful condition.
some nf which WIS especially prepared for nc.
i got no beIter,-iuie d, constantly grew worse,
the surface of my head being entirely covered
was my condition when | commenced taking tho
NrGrrISE, which | am pleased 10 inform YOU
auh the public Of you choose to make it puhlic),
lias made complete and satisfactory cure ut
INV disease: and shall always deem il great
pleasure To mention tho unprecedented merit VI
NEGErIYE. 1 remain, very thankfully.
CHARLES K. SMITH.
lNy Enurib efr SnutI Hnstnp
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1877-02-24
Martinsburg Advertisements.

sar FoK RELIABLE FIRE INSURANCE,
coll on L. A. Steiner, General Insur-
ance Agent, at Martinsburg, w. Va.
Office a few doors east of the Postotfice,
ON Burke Street. Over Si3,000,OO0
capital, and none but first class compa-
MES represented.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1877-02-24
Martinsburg Advertisements.

lie takes great pleasure in informing
Ill the citizens of Berkeley and adjoining
counties that he has full and we'll Sc
lected stock of Goods, purchased in Bos-
ton, New York, Baltimore and Carlisle,
and in quality and price he challenges
comparisons. His stock embraces Ladies,
Misses and Children's Boots, Shoes aud
Caters OF every quality and style and OF
superior manufacture.
Gents and boys Hats and Caps of the
very latest styles. Gents and Boys Boots,
Shoes, Caters, Slippers, and full line OF
children's Shoes, also Trunks, Falises,
Umbrellas, &C., &c.
He keeps from the very finest Kereso
Kid and Lasting Cater 70 the common
walking Shoe, insuring ease and comfort
in the wear.
lie keeps a general and well selected
stock which will be constantly replen-
shed with fresh Goods of latest manufac-
ture. Ladies Caters $i.25 to the best
grades; Gents CATERS $l.25 to the best
grades.
Remember the place and give him call
and be convinced. of the superiority anG
cheapIess Ct his stock.
GEO. A. SMITH,
Queen Street, Martinsburg.
JulyS, 1876. ly
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1877-02-24
S25 TO $500
4 q w A IL ID

THE undersigned hereby offers reward
L of 100000 for any information
that will lead to the arrest, and evidence
that will secure the conviction of the per-
son or persons who stole the Wheat from
my farm in this county, in March last.
| also offer a standing reward OF Twen-
ty-five Dollars for information and evil
dcnce that will secure the arrest and con-
viction of any person guilty at any time,
past or future. of any act of larceny or
theft on any of my premises.
HENRY SHEPHERD,
jeff. Co., w. Va.
Aug't 81, 1876. Tyr
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1877-02-24
ADOPecIafioD-

CnARLEsrowS, Mass. March ~, iSc1
II. II. SrEvENS.-Dcar Sir: This Is 10 certify
that | have used your BLOOD Prenration {"
vrGEriNE) in my family for several years, and
j think that for Scrofula and Cankcrous llu-
m0rs or Rheumatic Affections il cannot be ex-
cellc,i; and rs Blood Purifier and spring nledi-
cine il il the best thing have ever used and
have used almost everything can cheerfuly
recommend il TO any one in need of such q
medicine. Yours respectfully,
Mrs. A. \. DTSSMORE,
~ Russell street.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1877-02-24

SUCCESSFUL EsrERPRisE.--H. Stone
braker & Sons, can be termed the peo-
pies beuefactor-. They have discover
ed a remedy, called the Gun SYRcr, that
positively cures, without fail, Sarnmer
Complaint, Diarrhoea, Dysentery, and
at the same time, acts as Soothing
Syrup for ChildreD. 25 cents bottle.
HULLOWAY'S PILLS and ONT
MENT.-For Scuryy. Leprosy, and Gu.
tapeous diseases they are unriyalIed.
In places where these maladies are prey
alert, the cures are maryeIions. for tie
expulsion ofpimples, blotolles. tkc-, they
are unparalleled. and ss cosmetic the
Ointment sisndsqnequaIIeJ. sold every
where. % cents Per box or pot. 1873
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1877-02-24
1.HeIl Gate" Blown
Up!
Clothing sold 25 per-
cent Cheaper

Than YOU can buy in any other Clothing
House i'm the City. Old Cheapy invites
the public to come and examine the Large
Stock of Ready Made Mems, Youths and
Boys Clothing and Gents Furnishing
Goods. A large assortment of Hats and
Gaps, which We will sell cheaper than
any other Clothing House in Martins
burg. Come one and all. both large and
small, and give Cheap John AZ early call.
No troubleto to show Goods. Examine my
Seven dollar all wool suits, and Five dol
Jar Oyercoats, which will surprise you
all. CHEAP JOHN,
No. Queen Street,
Next door to National Bank,
Martinsburg, w. Va.
Oct q BIN
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1877-10-27
Schools out.

Reader, did you ever pause and con.
template that particular and peculiar
phase of human nature developed by
the existent school boy when released
from study and discipline - when
"school is out" and he is on his way
home.
Ordinary humanity, when released
from the tolls of the day, is prone to
seek rest and relaxation, Che boy
scorns all such efleminate ideas. He is
composed of but three parts-lcgs,
arms and YELL and the yell is the
biggest part of him. His legs and arms
have been kept in irksome compulsory
quietude all day, and must now be excr-
cised. His voice has been seething and
swelling in him for hours, and now must
have vent.
As soon as he is clear of the school
house steps he stops and deliberately
yells a yell that is ear.splitting, but
which has no more object, meaning or
direction than the midnight vocifera-
ton of mule, and yet it appears at n
full run with his arms flying about like
the scintillations of a pin-wheel, He
is no respecter of persons and sutterly
indifferent as to whether he runs down n
smaller boy, spins an aged citizen three
times around or mashes Il girls hat
over her eyes in his headlong career.
Nervous ladies hug the sides of the
houses as he rushes by in a drove like u
whirlwind and screams like steam
whistle
"Mercy on usl If that boy was only
mine I'd" but just then her own boy
flies past, falls over dry goods box,
bounces up, kicks ut another boy, and is
chased across the street and around the
corner before she can get the You
Roberto with which she intends to
annihilate him, out of her astonished
throat.
There is but one thing that has the
slightest soothing effect on the boy when
he is on the way home from school. lie
can see his old man further than Prof.
Hall can see haystack with telescope,
and the moment that parent dawns upon
his vision he becomes as proper as q
model letter writer, and the neatly
modulated voice with which he
wheedles the author of his being out of
five cents on the spot, is lesson for
future ambitious savings bank and
passenger railway presidents.
The amount of racing, jumping, pull
ing, and hauling and bowling that a
school-bey can concentrate into transit
of two squares is positively astonishing,
and the preternatural GOODNESS and
quietude with which he takes his red
face and painting breath into the
kitchen and asks if supper amt most
ready is human conundrum that calls
for unqualified admiration.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1877-10-27
Fashion items.

Skirts are worn short in front.
Sultan is the new shade of red.
Dress trains grow longer and longer.
A favorite dark shade is lees OF wine.
Box-pleated corsagcs are coming in
vogue.
Putty color is the newest shade for kid
gloves.
Pleated and gathered corsages are
coming in vogue.
Moonlight beads is another name for
clair de La lune jet.
Jewels take the place of spangles in
the costly imported fans.
The necks of all new dresses open en-
chale or Pompadour.
A great many ribbon bows are seen on
all the new costumes.
Lace bonnet strings and lace scarfs are
no longer fashionable.
The new fringes combine crimped
braid, sile, and clair de la lune jet.
The Serbian is the costume destined
to take the place of the Breton. :,
Basques, tunics, and polonaises are all
worn, but the shapes are new.
The new bonnets have corne brimst
and elaborate pulled cap crowns.
Grays, including four shades, and
green's of every possible tint, are the
popular colors.
Turkish blue, mixture of purple and
red, is the popular shade for ladies'
umbrellas.
No silk for morning toilets is the
rule, which New York is borrowing from
Paris just now.
Paper-hangers report that crimson, in
all its shades, is the favorite paper fol-
parlor walls.
Caps and bonnet crows are large, high
and Enthusiastically treated in the looping
and arrangement of the folds.
The latest novelties in scarfs are O
crepe lisse, embroidered at the end
with silk in Oriental colors and designs
A handsome fancy feather for dress,
hat is made of India gamecock's tail
and lophophore tail feathers combined
Silks of light weight for early autumn
uses are in very small figures, and il
brighter colors than have been seen TO
| some time.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1877-10-27
THE ,STIKJNE RIVER.

The Stikine River is soon likely to
come into particular notice, and may
yet be the subject of dispute between
Canada and the United States. A con-
temporary newspaper says OF it: This
river, which is now being pressed into
notice, will afford the student of ge-
ography, who is fortunate enough to
find it on the map, almost as much JOY
as Duluth gave to Proctor Knott, when
after long search that magic name
burst upon his enraptured vision. Sti-
kline River is in such remote and
thinly settled part of North America
and it is variously known as Stitsine,
Stikine, Stickeen, and Francis River. 1t
flows south and west through the north
ern part of British Columbia, and
formerly emptied into the Pacific Ocean,
through the territory of Alaska, not far
south of Sitka. But Canadian survey
ors, we are told, have discovered that
several miles of the river, heretofore sup
posed to be American territory should
be under the British flag as a matter
of right. The Stikine River is the gate
way, SO to speak, to the gold regions of
British Columbia, where quite recently
valuable discoveries of gold and copper
deposits were made, and if the Stikine
River can be made. TO debouch into the
ocean through British territory by a
slight change in the boundary line, there
can be free trade between the mines and
Victoria, Vancouver Island. If there
has been a mistake made heretofore in
drawing the boundary line, it is rather
unfortunate that it should have been
made in that particular neighborhood,
which is really habitable.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1877-10-27
Catching a Shark.

The New York SIM says George
Goetz. a tinsmith Of "a Greenwich
Street, for seven years fished for Holsters
offthe long wharf at the Battery. When
he drew his nets on Friday evening they
were badly torn and the bait was miss
ing. Then he got cast iron hook,
three feet in length, with sharp prong
on the end, baited it with an immense
decomposed fish, attached to it stout
rope, and threw it outside his nets. a
few minutes later man near him cried
out, " Great God! George, you've got a
whale" The coil of the ripe was rum
out at lightning speed. The two men
were unable to hold the monster on the
end of the line, and called to some sailors
near by, and soon the wharf was covered
with men anxiously watching the haul
ing in Of the fish. 1t was shark eight
feet seven inches in length, weighing
over three hundred pounds. Ten strong
men lifted it over the string piece.
While trying to kill him Barney Gallon
was knocked overheard, and three men
were knocked down and badly stunned.
Mr.. Goetz sold the fish to Hugh Nc
Hugh, of No. 10 Battery Place, for two
dollars and half, and, as longshore-
man said, "nearly the whole First Ward
called at The saloon to see it." Its mouth
when opened was three feet in diame-
ter. There was a corked soda water
bottle, part of an India rubber shoe,
and piece of brickbat in his stom-
| ach.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1877-10-27
Literary Notes.

A volume of Selections from the
Writings of the Author of the Schon-
berg Gotta Family" has just been pub
lished by Dodd, Mead & Co.
Principal Dawson's important volume
of popular science entitled "The Origin
of the World" will shortly be published
by Harper & Brothers. t 81
Books, pictures, and bric-a-brac be-
longing to General John G. Fremont
were sold at auction in New York the
other evening. Eight volumes of Johh
Adams works, annotated by Charles
Francis Adams, brought forty cents
apiece. ~ .4s Il
The November number of 1ppletons'
Journal will contain an article by f. L..
Burlingame, entitled Dead Magazines"
which will give history of the various
periodicals that have been begun and
come to their end---untimely or other
wise---in this country. e
Three American authors, Mr.. William
Cullen Bryant, Mr.. Longfellow, and Mr..
Bayard Taylor, have recently been Sc
lected honorary members of the Literary
Academy of Athens, which is under
the special patronage of the Queen OF
Greece.
"Mr. Ruskin," says the London Spec
tator, +" wants an immense proportion of
his fine moral gifts in Gliding invective
against principles which are deeply in
grained in the Providential rule of the
social universe as is the principle of har-
mony in the development of the leaf, the
principle of grandeur in the appearing
Of the mountains, or the principles Of
simplicity, candor and moral arrogance
in the character of Mr.. Ruskin himself y
Mr.. Edmund Yates speakes in very
frank and manly way of what he calls
Ny silly and unjustifiable attack upon
MIR. Thackeray, made nearly twenty
years ago, when / was quite a young
man." The attack to which he refer,
was, through Dickens unsuccessful at
tempts at mediation, the cause of the
GOODNESS which existed for several years
between Dickens and Thackeray. Ths
matter very seriously hurt and disturbed
Thackeray, and it is lesson to clever
young writer's who let their bright pen.
run away with their senses of justice
Mr.. Yates reference to the affair does
him honor.