Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1877-01-17
Mark TWain'S Speech.
TIE OLDEST INHABITANT THE WEATHER.
Who hath lost and doth forget it2
Who hath it still and doth regret il?
"Intepose betwi&t us 1t0din."

TIE OLDEST INIIABITANT-TH WEATHER.
Who hath LOST and doth forget t2
Who hath it still and doth rcgretil?
"Interpose betwixt us Tt0ain."
Merchant Of Venice.
revertntly believe That the Maker who
makes us all makes every thing in New
England but the weather. | don't know
who makes that. but think it must be-
raw AZ prenlicps in the weather clerks fac
tory who experiment and learn how,
in New England, for board and clothes
and then are promoted to make weather
for countries that require II good article
and will take their custom elsewhere if
tley don't get it.
There is II sumptuOus variety about the
New England weather that compcls the
strangers admiration anA regret. The
weather is always doing something there !;
always Attending strictly to business; al
ways getting up new designs and trying
them on the people to see how they will
90 But it gets through more business in
the spring than in any other season In
HE spring, | have counted 1856 different
kinds Of weather inside of fOur-and-twenly
hours.
1t was | that made the fame and fortune
of that man that had that marvellous col
lection of weather on exhibition III the
centennial that so lstounded the foreigners.
He was going to travel all over The world
and get specimens from all clmes
said, d" Don't you do ii; you come TO New
England on favorable sping day" /
told him what we could do in the way OF
ylc, variety and quantity. Well, he
came, and he made his collection in four
days. AS to variety; why, he confessed
that he got hundreds of kinds Of weather
that he had never heard Of before. And
as to quantity well, afei lie had picked
out and discarded all that WAS blemshrd
in any way, he not only had enough, but
weather to spare; weather TO hire out;
weather to sell; to deposit; weather to in
vest; weather to give 10 the poor.
The people of New England are by ma.
ture patient and foi bearing; but there are
some things which they will not stand.
Every year, they kin u lot of poets fpr
writing about " Beautiful Spring" These
are generally casual visItos, who bring
their notions of spring f ON somewhere
else, and cannol, of course, know how the
natives feel about spring. And 80, the
first thing they know, the opportunity to
.tHqulre how they feel has permanently
gone by.
UlA Probabilities has n mighty reputation
for accurate prophecy, and thoroughly
well deserves it. You take up the paper
and observe how crlsply and confidently
he checks off what to-dly's weather is 20
ing to b., on the PaciliC-down South-in
the Middle ntates-in the Wisconsin re
gion-sec him sail along in the joy and
pride Of his power till he gets TO New Eng
an1-und then see his tail drop lie
doesn't know what the weather is going to
be in New England. lie cant any more
tell than he can tell how many presidents
Of the United States there's going to be,
next year. Well, he mulls over it, and,
by and by, egets out something like this
Probable nor east TO sou west winds. vary
ng to the south'urd and west ard and
BASTARD and points between; high and
low barometer, swapping around from
place to place. pribable areas of ram,
snow, hail and on b, succeeded IL pre-
ceded by earthquakes, with thunder and
lightning. Then lie jots down This post
script from his wandering mind, TO cover
accidents, " But ii is possible hat tie pro-
gram mug be mhoLIy changed in the mean
tune."
Yes, one of the brightest gems IN the
New England weather is the dazzling un-
certainly oil it. There is only one thing
Gel tain about it: You are certain there is
going to be plenty of weathcr-a perfect
grand review-but you never can tell
which end of the procession is going 10
move first. You fix up for the drouIh; you
leave your umbrella in the house, and sally
ont with your sprlnkling-p t, and ten to one
You get drowned; you make up your mini
that the earthquake is due; you stand from
under, and take bold OF something TO steady
y usef, and the first thing you know, you
get struck by lightning, These are great
di,appointmens But they can't be help
ed. The lightning there is peculiar; it is
50 convin ing; when it strikes thing, ii
doesn't leave enough Of That thing behind
for you to tell whelher-well, you'd think
it WI something valuable, and Il congress
man had been there. And the thunder
When the thunder merely commences to
tune up. and scrapc and saw, and key up
the Instruments for the performances
ranger, say, "Why, what awful thunder
on have here!' But when the baton l.,
raj ed. and the real concert begins, you'll
! find that stranger in the cellar with his
head in the ash.harrel. NV us to the
alsc of the weather in New England
| lnglhways, | meant is utterly dispro-
porliunud to the size Of that lie country
Half The time. when it is packed as full a>
it can stick. you will ser thu NV England
weather sticking out beyond the edge, aud
projecting around, hundreds and hundred,
Of miles, over the neighb ring sta es.
She can't hold tenth parl Of her weather
| You can see cracks all about, where she
has strained elself Try ng to do ii.
could speak volumes about the inhu-
man pervrrsily of the New England wealth
er, but will give but single specimen
like to hear rain on u tin roof. So
covered part Of my roof with lin, with an
eye TO tht luxury. Well sir, do you
lnink it ever rains on that lin? No. sir
ski it every ime. Mind, in this speech
have bcen trying m rely 10 do honor t.
the New England weather-n0 language
could do ii justice. But, after all, there i,
1t least one or TWO things about the wealth
er Tor, if you please, effects produced by
il). which we residents would not like t.
part with. If We htdn't our bewitching
autumn foliage, we should still have to
credit the weather with one feature, whici
compensates for all its bu lying vagaries-
The ice. Storm when leaheSs tree is
clothed with ice from the bottom to thc
Lop-icc that is us bright and clear us crys
tai every hough and twig is strung with
ice-beads frozen dew-dropS, and the whol,
tree sparkles cold and white, like the shall
of Persia's diamond plume. Then the
wind waves the branches, and the sun
comes out and turns all those myriads OF
beads and drops to prisms, that glow auu
flash with all manner of cOlored fires
which change and change again with in
conceivable rapidity-from blue to red.
from red to green, and green to gold-th,
tree becomes spraying fountain, very
explosion, of dazzling jewels; and it stands
I there the acme the climax, the supremes
possibility, in art or nature, of bewilder-
ing, intoxicating, intolerable magnif
cence! One cannot make the words to-
strong. Month after month lay up hate
and grudge agsinst New England wealth
er; but when the ice.storm comes at last.
say: There-I forgive you now-tht
books are square between us, you don
owe me a cent 90 and sin no more. vouI