The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1877-09-11

the wires the fullest and most vivid description
OF a battle ever sent to any American newspa-
per. These and many other exploits OF the gal
liant Commissioner were exclusively recorded
in the columns of the journal which he so faith
fully served.
1t il highly probable that the Commissioners.
without waiting for Howard and the troops.
would himself have solved the Indian problem
by dcspatching to the happy hunting grounds
the entire copper colorcd population of the
Northwest. had he not met with reverse. Our
account il based upon his personal narrative.
A trivial circumstance sometimes determines
the course of history. The Commissioner
paused in the midst OF the carnage Of
one his most terrible battles to refresh
himself from n flask which he carried
in his coat-tail pocket. Having first waved
q handkerchief to indicate that there should
be brief suspension OF hostilities. he felt
that he was safe: for even savages respect a
truce. All. he little knew the faithlessness OF
the Sahaptin tribes Depositing his weapons
on tho ground and tipping his head back until
his nose threatened the zenith. the Chicago
Commissioner gave himself up to the dclirious
enjoyment Of a long. long draught. 1t was at
this moment that the pcridious Nose Rings
sprang upon him. His weapons were kicked
beyond his reach in the scuflle. What though.
with his naked fist. he laid twcnty-sx ifcless
on the sward? struggle against such fearful
odds could have only one termination. The
Commissioning was overpowered gagged.
wound round and round with tough green
withcs. and conveyed n prisoner 10 the head
quarters of Chief Joseph.
This heroic spirit did not quail Mt the prospect
Of torture and DEATH lie had merely done his
duty to his employers. He thought calmly Of
the stake. and regretted that hrst-cass sensa-
ton should be spoiled for news by the proyok
ing lack OF anybody to report it.
".
To tho Commissioners surprise, one morn
ing. after he had been captive for several
days. n venerable Indian entered his prison and
began to unwind him. Az he had lain in one
position tightly bound. for not less than ninety
hours. the attention was gratefully received.
He broke into an hilarious jig. both to express
his satisfaction and to restore the disarranged
circulation of the blood. The ibcritor stood
regarding him with respectful admiration.
"Ughl" he said. Young Porcupine- not
Airaid-of his-Pencils very biz brave. He 20
chin Joseph"
The Commissioner was led to the wigwam
whore sat the rcdouhtcd chicftan. surrounded
10y maps and trcatses on military science.
Joseph wore II garment consisting Of an ingc-
NOUS patchwork OF human scaps. His head
was crowned with bandeau stuck full of inn
mense peacock feathers and his face wore the
war paint. Six horizontal strcaks OF vermilion.
crossed by six lateral streaks of eamboge. the
severe simplicity o: the design somewhat re-
lieved 10y green lozenges here and there. and
artistic cscalops of blue. lent IA weird express
sion to his countcnance. He rose with easy
grace from his books and maps when the Com
missioner entered and made him po tie bow.
Pardon me-" he said in perfectly good Eng
liah 10 haN N tod vou a., In
convenience but was not aware till Just now
that you were "A Journalist"
The Commissioner bowed
Il have done something in that line myself"
continued Joseph " used TO be considered
rather IA neat hand at a satirical article"
Then you are no Indian" shrewdly sug-
gcsted the Commissioner. for the art of Jour
nalism is not pratscd among the Aborigincs."
Joseph coughed slightly and wnked. You
do not recognize me-" lie said " hatter my
self am disguised with considerable Indian
uiy."
The Commissioner started forward in genu-
inc establishment. Can it be-" he exclaimed.
that
Joseph fumblcd under his tunc Of scalps and
produced pair of eyeglasses which he set
astrde his nose. regarding the Commissioner
with n quizzcal stare.
The two men were presently clasped in n mu-
tua embrace. Tell me about it." said the Chi
cagoan at last.
The so-called Joseph seated himself on vol
ume Of Turennes Memoirs" MY boy" he
said. was always ambitious Of military glory.
After having demonstrated my versatility 10y
successes in every other direction. it struck me
that II would bc interesting las we'll as an excel
lent Iokel 10 make war on the United States Of
America. These reds here were ripe for revolt.
All they oh IA lpuIpr RaipV uuf
a leader land an off-unl myself came hther
and you know the rest. When left New York
went TO bismarck by the Northern Pacific and
| struck across the mountains disguised rs mis-
| sonary. l never crossed the Atlantic Mt all.
| That Garhctt business was put up Job TO mis-
| lead inquiry. Such oh such is fc!"
And what do you propose to do, Mr. Mayor"
Tut tut my boyl West Of the one hum
| dred,h meridian. am known only as Joseph.
| the terrible dcnzen OF the primeval forest. /
propose to swallow Howard at a gulp. march
| across the continent. taking Sherman nj one
| bite and sheridan at another capture Wash
inGton. scalp IA few Congressman perhaps. and
then 20 home and laugh over the hugest Joke Of
| the century.
Hold on" he added. rcsuming an air Of
stolid dignity. NUNS the word. old fellow.
| Here come some Of my leitcnan,s."
| The mysterious chicftain turned grandly to-
ward the warriors who entered, and waved his
| hand in the direction OF the Commissioner.
Take away the captive" he said. and set
| him free with parched corn in his pouch and
| hrewatcr in his flask. Young chief you have
slain several odd thousand Of my braves but
YOU are Free Go and tell the pale faces that
Oakey-that is 10 say. that Joseph. can be mag
unanimous rs well as brave"
| The Commissioner could not in deccncy raise
| bfs Instln n .
SO he threw W his commission and came East
and he has himself communicated these par
| tcuars to the present writer in confidence.
Politics In New Jersey.
To THE EDITOR OF THE SuS-ST; ] notice
under the above heading IN ruE suS of Friday morn.
Ing 9TH inst. letter commenting upon the political stu.
| mimi in Ne ~ InrsaN