davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1877-11-27
Where the Difference is.

A MASSACHUSETTS LID, was
n dining at the table of lady who
never furnishes wine, no matter who is
her guest; and at whose house General
Grant spent nearly two days, during
which time not one drop of wine, ale, or
spirits, would she present to him or his
staff and when the British nobility are
sometimes entertained by her they in
quire, F" Can you entertain Lord so-and-
SOP" when she replies, Yes, but he
must know beforehand that neither
wine, ale or spirits are offered in my
house." This gentleman was at her
dining table, and he said:
"Now L think L cannot understand
your position in reference to this matter,
Mrs. Now L enjoy glass of wine
at my dinner; it is my habit to use it.
You say to me, Doctor, shall give you
no wine because so-and-so makes bad
use of it, Here is one person cannot
drink with impunity, here is another
who makes fool of himself. By-and-
by you will take from us all our luxuries.
enjoy cheese. like it with cup of
coffee and cracker; it promotes dges-
tion. Would you say, Doctor, here is,
q man who cannot eat cheese with i'm
punity and l shall giveyou no cheese p"
Is that fair way of putting it2 Did
you ever hear man standing on the
gallows-tree saying to those who came
to witness his execution: GO" Now, my
friends, take warning by me; never eat
any cheese?" Did you ever hear of q
man numbering his wife, and giving as
a reason, or as an excuse, that he had
been eating cheesep Did you ever hear
after row in the streets where one man
is murdered or several ribs broken, the
papers say: Those men have been
eating cheese?" Now just show me
that cheese produces eight-tenths of the
crime, seven-eights of the pauperism and
half the lunacy; show to me that cheese
produces the result that drink does, and
by the grace of God L will battle the
cheese while live."
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1877-11-27
ALI "a O AID 8.
PHILADELPHIA AND READING R. R.
ARRANGEMENT OF PASSENGER TRAINS.
November 9th, 1877.


TRAINS EAVEHARRIsBURG AS FOLLOWS
For New York, at $50, sic a. m. asp. M,
For Philadelphia, at $40 $40, 9.45 am. nd
and 3.b7 y. m.
For heading, at $40, $40, o.45 a. m. and 200
3.57 and 1855.
For Pottsvllle at $50, $40 a. m, and 1857
2. m, and via Schuylkill and Susquehanna
For Auburn Via ), & s. Br, at 51oa. m.
For Allentown, at $40, S.lOa. M, and at 200,
The $50, S. Is a. M, s57 and #7.55 p. m, trains
have through cars for New York.
The 500 $40 a. M. and 200 p. M, trains have
through cars for Philadelphia.
SUNDAYS
For New York, at 500 a. m.
For Allentown and Way Stations at $50 a. IN.
For Heading, Philadelphia and Way Stationsat
Las p. m.
TRAINS FOR HARRIsBURG, LEAVE AS FOL
LOWS
Leave New York, at e.45 a. M, 100, $50 and
#7.45 p M
Leave Philadelphia, at sl5 a. m. $40 and
T20 p. m.
Leave Reading, at tL4O, 74O ll.2O a. m. l.SO,
6.l5 and 10 35 p. m.
Leave Pottsvllle, at 6.1O, 9.l5 ain. and AS5
p. M.
And via schuylkn and susquehanna Branch at
S.l5 a. IN.
Leave Auburn was. Il s. Br. at 70 noon.
Leave Allentown, at 1880 $50, 9.05 a. M. l2.l5,
Leave New York. at $50 p. m.
Leave Philadelphia, at 40 p. m.
Leave Reading, at 4,4e, 7.4o, a. m and lO.35
Leave Allentown. at2 80 a. m, and e.O5p. m.
j. l.. WOOTEN, Gen. Manager
G. G. HANCOCK, General Ticket Agent.
tDees not run on Mondays
*Via Morris and Essex II. II.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1877-11-27
His Title.

MOT long since young man with
lN blonde hair, freckled nose, and
other marks of personal attractiveness,
applied to the deputy sheriff at San
Antonia for a pass to see his father, who
he had reason to suppose was an inmate
of the county Jail.
What's your name ?" asked the
officer, turning to his register.
Pm Jim M'Snifter, from the Arroyo,
Colorado"
What peculiar kind of playfulness
has your feyther been amusin' himself
at-murder in the first degree 2"
"Wusser than that, was the M'Snif-
terian response.
All levity vanished from the face Of
the officer, who was really kind-heart-
ed man, and there was sympathy, and
perhaps tear in his eye as he turned
over the page and said in a low voice.
Worse than murder? My God he
must have stolen pony!''
cit was some misunderstanding about
Newell" observed M'Snifter junior,
punlsnlng MS coWhlde boots with his
squirt.
There are none of the M'Snifter's in
jail. Maybe I've got capias for you."
81 bleeve in the last Indictment the
old mans name was spelt Bob White.
The title of the suit was the State
against White"
Why didn't you say so at once
You mean that is his title at court. Why
certainly Just you come along, and
I'll present you to his royal Majesty.
He is in the ground cell. Just come
along; l want to see if the old rooster
isn't trying to saw his hobbies of"
And buckling on his armor the deputy
sheriff conducted the crown prince
across the square to the castellated
summer palace of his royal parent.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1877-11-27
A Masonic Joke.

CATURDAY, Constable Bowen found
~ the boys in high glee over the sport
they were having with chap on State
street, who was making desperate efforts
to prevent the road from flying up in
his face. Marching him to Jail, the of
ncer waited until Monday morning, and
then 'Stev." came before Esquire Stearns
and took chair. The following angu-
lar dialogue then occurred:
From whence came you ?"
" Ven, vas been from der city New
York oder die New Jerusalem" !"
What came you here to do ?n
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1877-11-27
A Practical Justice.

In Presque, Isle county, toward Mack
mac, is beautiful lake, Hight Grand
Lake, on whose shore stands club.
house owned by sundry fish-loving citi-
zens of Adrian, Michigan, The country
around is pretty much as nature made
it-rough-and the few backwoodsmen
living there are much like the country.
One of them, named Crawford, was
lately elected justice of the peace. A
wood-chopper made complaint that
certain raftsman had beaten him, and
asked for warrant for the Offenders
arrest. The Justices entire stock of
legal blanks consisted of summons
and a subpoena. After spending some
time vainly in trying to make these
papers fit the case, he got mad, flung
down his papers, and addressed the
complainant thus:
" See here, mister, this Court is bound
to see justice done in this township.
You pay me two dollars and half, costs
OF court, show me the man, and the
court will lick the devil out of him in
two minutes"
Complainant paid the costs and point
ed out the man. The "court,' with
majesty on his brow and his sleeves
rolled up, went for the offender, and in
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1877-11-27
Attitudes in Sleep.

A WRITER says: "There are those
IA who believe that no man can sleep
in satisfactory way unless the head of
his bed is turned to the north. Whether
this rule applies to women is doubtful,
since the alleged proneness of the sex to
sleep in circular position renders it
always difficult to decide toward which
point of the compass the sleeping femi-
mines head actually points,
1t is said that in well-regulated hospi-
tails the patients are laid with the head
to the north and the feet to the south,
and the doctors report they recover fast
est in this position. The reason assign
ed is that the electric currents flow from
north to south. The men don't seem to
care, but women have immense faith in
physicians. But the husbands and
fathers report the feminine form ever
seeks the curled up position. Even in
chairs when alone they take it, 1t is
their natural and favorite one. The fair
sex argue in circle. Why, in cutting
fabrics they assume lines similar to their
own rounded forms.
Men take theirs straight. In bed
they stretch out full length to thorough
ly rest the frame. Women, however.
adopt the curve of the sleeping Venus of
Iltian. Again we must quote fathers
and husbands who say women prefer
everything round from dollar to
flounce, because their own forms are
charmingly rounded. They love to sit
on the floor in circles to talk. Their
favorite position in slumber is slight
curve, with both hands thrown over
their heads and frequently meeting in q
circle over their tiny night-cap or pent-
up curls-decidedly more bewitching
way than the half circle of felinity.
Why this difference between man and
woman some conundrum propounder
may ask. The books don't tell, nor can
the fathers. 1t is developed from in
fancy. Why one might as well ask why
woman sits on the floor to put on her
stockings, while man sits in a chair to
draw on his socksY We are not giving
reasons; only facts.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1877-11-27
THE TIMES NEW BLOOMFIELD, PA, NOVEMBER 81, 1877

sixty seconds thrashed him to the full
content of both parties. The court then
put on his coat, and remarked that " he
was peace officer, and wished 1t under
stood that this court would preserve the
peace, and any man who thought he
could raise thunder in that neck of
woods would have to try the case with
the court personally" No other case
has since been tried by Squire Craw-
ford.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1877-11-27
A Jackson Aneedote.


1t is related that when Andrew Jack
son was military commander in Florida,
he had tried at drum-head court
martial, sentenced and hanged, two
Englishmen who had tried to incite in
surrection among the Indians. President
Monroe feared that Great Britain would
be indignant, and summoned Jackson
to Washington to be reprimanded.-
Secretary Adams defended Jackson and
made q long argument, in which he
quoted international law as expounded
by Grotius, Vattel and Puffendorf-
Jackson listened in sullen silence, but
that evening, when asked at dinner
party whether he has not comforted by
Mr.. Adams citation of authorities, he
exclaimed
What do L care about those old
musty chaps? Blast Grotius, blast
Vattel and blast the Puffen-chap. This
is a fight between Jim Monroe and me,
and 1 propose to fight it out.'
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1877-11-27

eaT A bachelor permitted himself to be
inveigled into Boston's baby show, and
it was nearly the death of him. He
stopped to gaze at sweet cherub of the
hundred and fifty pounds, with ears like
full grown cabbage leaves, a mouth of
much amplitude, and lungs of more
than Keely motor power. While Won
dering whether the infant would develop
into President of the United States or
disgrace his doting parents by joining
base ball club, the youngster opened its
entire face back TO the ears, and set up
yell. And such yell Before the
bachelor could hurry away, the mother
caught her infant in her arms, and
crooned, whats the matter with
mammals precious petty-wettyl Did
the nasty -pasty, ugly-plugly man fright
en- mammy-wammy's darling baby-wa-
by 7" The bachelor tainted dead away,
and was not restored to consciousness
for two hours.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1877-11-27
Pennsylvania II. IL. Time Table.
NEWPORT STATION.

IN WHOhI S1AIlONs
On and after Monday June 25th, 1877, Pas
senger trans will run as follows:
EAST.
Mf1intown Acc. 7.32 a. m, daily except Sunday.
Johnstewn Ex. 1922 P. NJ, daily :" Sunday
Mail, ............ 6.54 p. M, daily exeeptSunday
Atlantic Express, 9.54P.M., hag,-daily.
WEST.
WayPass. 908 A. NJ, daily,
Mail, 2.43 p. NJ. daily exceptSunday
Mtfiutown Acc. 6.55 P. M. daily except Sunday
Pittsburgh Express, ll.57P. M, tFlag)-daily, ex-
cept sunday.
Pacific Express, 5.17 o. m. daily (hag)
Trains are now run by Philadelphia time, which
Is 13 minutes faster than Altoona time, and min
utes slower than New York time.
j. y. BARCLAY, Agent.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1877-11-27
PATENTS.
D DEM0VAL.
The undersigned has removed his
Leather and Harness Store

from Front to High Street, near the Penn'a..
Freight Depot, where he will have on hand, and
will sell at
REDUCED PRICES,
Leather and Harness of all kinds. Having good
workmen, and by buying at the lowest cash
prices, fear no competition.
Market prices paid in cash for Bark Hides and
Skins. Thankful for past favors, solicit con
tlnuance Of the same.
P. S-Blankets, Robes, and Shoe findings made
speciality,
JOS. M. HAWLEY.
Duncannon, Julyl9, lsT6.-tf
The morning star and Catholic messenger., 1877-02-18

The Louisville Courier Journal says that
Bismarck appears to have indulged in unusual
volubility on the subject of the Eastern COM
plications at parliamentary dinner party in
Berlin last week. He believes that war is in
evitable between Turkey and Russia, but it
seems be was angry because of the
deputies reported his remarks to the outside
world. There is little doubt that Germany
would rejoice over war between Russia and
the Turk, because France could then be looked
after with greater ease. The Germans have
been Fastening the completion of the fortihca
tions of Strasburg and Metz, and recently
Strasburg has been filled with all the supplies
necessary a siege. Thousands of workmen
have been sent to work on the fortfcations
and in all the frontier fortresses war IN aterial
has been placed in great quantities. The
Fcench are slowly getting their army into
| trim, bat the policy OF the C overnment has
been distinctly ANNOUNCED as that of a strict
attention TO Frances own affairs, and a re
liEGuishment of the glory of foreign wars to
those who like that kind of business 1t
seems hardly probable that Bismarck would,
without any pretext except that France was
becoming too prosperous and might in the
future be dangerous, deliberately commence
hostilities Yet the ways of Boss Bismarck
are inscrutsble.
The morning star and Catholic messenger., 1877-02-18

as edificatlon, to enjoy favorable specl-
men Of it here ut homo.
But of far greater Importance than this is
the confederation that Father Maumus in
tends to embrace in his course of sermons
the principal topics of antagonism to the
Church as they have taken shape in the
issues of the day. We may be certain that
these will not be treated supericiaffy, but
will be laid bare in their inmost work
ings under the skilfal dissection of one who
has studied and mastered the situation.
This is an age of active conflict, the con-
t1ict of ideas, the clashing of intelligences.
They to whom God has given Intelligence
nnght to be abe to render some account of
it when occasion requires. Ia the days
when religion had no enemies it wac sntfis~
cent 20 say The Church says So Now
pe must be abe TO say not only that the
Church cay 80, hat why she says so.
To-day tSundayl at High Mass Father
Maunus will preach upon the authority of
tie Church as . teacher Wednesday next,
az O'Clock y. NJ on the necessity of Faith
10 intellectual and mora life, aud Friday
next, at tie same hou1, on the nature and
of Faith.
The morning star and Catholic messenger., 1877-02-18

There is as much danger of hurting the bra in
by idleness as by overwork, according to DR..
Farquhsrson's theory, he gives it in tho
Popular Science Monthly. He argues that intel
lectual power is lessened by the listiessn ess in
which, the wel.tc- do classes generally spend
their lives. Under such conditions the brain
gradually loses its health, and although equal
to the demands of routine existence is un-
able to Withstand the strain of sudden emer-
gency. So, when q load of work is uuexpect-
edly thrown on it in its uDprepared state, the
worst nsequeRces of what may be called
overwoIk show themselves. Similarly, a man
accustomed to sedentary pursuits is liable to
be physically injured by taking suddenly to
violent exercise. AS to the amount of mental
york that may safely be done, Dr. Farquharson
says: I" So long as a brain worker is able to
sleep well, to eat well, and to take fair pro-
portion Of outdoor exercise, it may safely be
said that it is not necessary to impose any
epecial limits on the actual number of hours
which he devotes to his labors. But when
what is generally known as worry steps in to
comPlicate matters, when cares connected with
family arrang ngements, or with those numerous
personal details which we can seldom escape,
intervene; or when the daily occupation of life
is in itself double source of anxiety, then we
find one or other of these three safeguards
broken down"
The morning star and Catholic messenger., 1877-02-18
Father MaumuS.

Rev. Father Maumus, the distinguished
Dominican preacher who occupied the pul.
pit of the Cathedral two years ago during
Lent, will again, this year, deliver the dis
courses of that Penitontial season in the
same place. Many of our readers whose vcr.
nacular is the English language will be glad
to hear this, because they understand Freuc
sufficiently well to enjoy superior oratory
in that language. Father Maumus has a
very widely extended reputation for elo-
queuce, and one which, there can be
no doubt at all, is justly deserved. The
styles of pulpit eloquence differ some
what in different countries, according
to the genius and habits of the people,
and for many, who have never had
personal experience of the school of ora
tory founded by Bossuet and Fenelon,
it will be q point of much interest, as we'll
The morning star and Catholic messenger., 1877-02-18

On the occasion of Queen Viotoras formal
assumption of the title of Empress of India, a
large number of poor debtors were released
from prison and manumisbioB was granted to
great number of convcts. "AIl Civil prisoners" !"
says London Times correspondents "whose
debts are not over 100 rupees, are released and
their debts paid by the State. Altogether, in
Guiding cOnvicts in the Andamans, nearly
10000 prisoners set free. The terms of the
Mutiny amnesty of 1859 are also enlarged, by
extending its provisions to &C tors in the revolt,
who will now be pardoned if they return home
and report their return to the district authori.
ties ard behave well. &urderers, however. are
still excepted from the amnesty; also Feroze
Shah, the son of the late King of Delhi" The
Cork Examiner, commenting on this act of
olemenoy, says that the English mind can
forgive and forget the massacres Of Cawnpore
and Delhi, but it cannot, it appears, reach to
that degree of magnanimity needed to release
some half dozen or dozen unfortunate Irish
soldiers, who took part in no massacre, not
even in rebellion, but were guilty only of
constructive mutny.
The morning star and Catholic messenger., 1877-02-18

The manner in which some of our non
Catholic friends speak of our Saviour and His
Apostles would be exceedingly amusing were
it not blasphemous. It was thought that the
acme of impudence had been reached by the
Oxford professor who, iu a public discourse,
quoting st, Paul, says: Paul remarks, and I
partly agree ,oith him. bat this is olipsed by
Rev. Mr.. Marston, who, in an article to a Lon
don daily paper says: Let US lay to heart the
saying of Him whom J. s. Mill has called the
greatest moral reformer the world has ever
seen." Commenting on this, the Catholic Uni-
verse, of London, remarks
This sounds rather like saying, "I am going
to quote the words of God the Son. aud i'm
agine that they will have considerable weight
with you, for Stuart Mill assores us that the
Saviour of the world was the greatest of all
moral retormers." Backed up by the spprobA-
tion Of Stuart Mill, Engiishmen may consent
to think something of the assertions of Christi
Such Is the condition to which Professionalism
has reduced the Anglo-Saxon.
The morning star and Catholic messenger., 1877-02-18

Mr.. j. Milton Turner, American Consul to
Liberia, while on visit to the United States,
was refused accommodation at the Astor House,
N. T., because he was not white, and has con-
sequently commenced a suit for damages
against that establishment under the Civil
Rights bill. During the trial he strongly pro-
tested against being called "a oolored man"
" colOred person." OF " "colored gentleman" as
he said it was only proper to describe him as 8
" negro gentleman"
The morning star and Catholic messenger., 1877-02-18

| young English priest has for some years
! past occupied himself very zealously in work
of the deepest interest and importance-we
mean the circulation of the Sacred Scriptures
among the people of South America. 1t was
in the year 1871 that the Rev. Kenelm Vaughan
| visited that country for the benefit of his
health. Finding that copies of the Bible were
very ,arcs there, he undertook to bring out a
popular edition, and began by forming print
ing fund Chilli, Peru, Uraguay, Paraguay and
the Argentine Republic generously contributed,
and when a sum had been raised sufficient to
start the work. Father Vaughan returned to
Eng gland in the autumn of 1873. and published
a stereotyped edition of the Spanish New Tes
lament, consisting of 50 900 copies. Three
sets moreover of stereotype plates were cast, so
that any number CT copies might from time to
time be struck off, aud from three different
centres.
At tho close of 1873 Father Vaughan made
second voyage to South America, visiting this
time Vene zuela. Columbia, Ecuador, Bolivia,
Mexico, and other parts, for the purpose of
making his work known. From Caracas be
travelled to Buenos Ayres, traversiug almost
the whole of the interior of South America.
Journies in these remote regions had to be
performed on mule back, on OK back llama
back, or Indian back, in hammocks and in
canoes. Sometimes it was needful to GROSS
wide rivers and dangerous mountain torrents.
At other times valleys, poisoned by malaria,
had to be traversed, and formidable passes of
the Andes, like that of the "Guindir," which
took Father Vaughan more than three weeks
to pass over. Now the riding was by moon
light to avoid the heat of the sun, and now the
missionary's course lay through great panpas,
sandy deserts, feClive valleys, through dense
forests. W here he slept with a ponoho around
him under the trees, or in rancho made of
their bran anches-living on plant&ins roofs, wild
fr"its, and occasionally on monkey soup and
rattle snake steaks.
He went through thousand perilous adven-
lures. Oace he was seized as a spy by a revo.
lutionary party in a mountain gorge on his way
to Cuzeo, and after being led ont to be shot
was released only by proving by his papers
who he really During the three years he
he was fortunate enough to find the lost body
of the venerable Jesuit martyr, Julian de
Lizardi, whose life was published a century
ago in Salamanca. He was put to death with
arrows in 1881 by the Indians.
Father Vaughan is on his third visit
to South America. On the oath of January the
Mondego was to sail from England, having on
Spanish and "a OOO will follow them in a short
time. These the indefatigable missionary will
circulate himself.
The morning star and Catholic messenger., 1877-02-18

NEw TOTAL ABSTINENCE SoCIErY.-Last
Sunday evening about thirty gentlemen Of
81. Michsel's parish met in the school hall and
OrGarH Hed q Catholic Total Abstinence So.
oiety. The Jealous pastor. Father 1hos. las
lin, was present, and promlsoi his most hearty
support to the movement This evening, at
4 O'clock, the Society viii bold its second
meeting At which the gentlemen OF the parish
nro cordially invited to attend.
The morning star and Catholic messenger., 1877-02-18

Last Thursday, Northern man by the name
of w. II. Weldon, while under the influence of
liquor, visited Mr.. S. Is. Packard at the St.
Louis Hotel, and, while oonversing with him,
suddenly drew revolver and fired. The ball
inflicted n slight wound in Mr.. Packard's leg.
Weldon was at once set upon by a number of
peraons present and shot in the arm and
80 badly beaten that for some time it WAS
thought he had been killed.
The morning star and Catholic messenger., 1877-02-18

of honor on the battle field of glory, they are
the truest homage which the mortal pays to
the Immortal for they link together in one no
BILE whole all mans duties to himself, his
neighbor and his God.
The morning star and Catholic messenger., 1877-02-18

SOCIETY ST. VINCENT DE PArL.--The Gen
erai Communion Of the members OF this So
ciety will take place in St. Tberesas church
to-day at special Mass to be celebrated at
1880 o'clock. The general meeting will be
held in the Morning Star all at O'Clock this
evening.