The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1877-12-20

eign article and making every man in
the United States who uses tea buy
the Montana tea at $1,000 per pound,
we will enrich the Montana tea rails
ers and build up that territory.
In other words we will take 5000
per lb. out of the pockets of nearly
every man in the United States sand
put it into the pockets Of those Mon
tana tea-raisers. The apeople will be
poorer but Montana will be richer;
and we will be SO much nearer COM
mercial independence. And then l
propose to follow the logic Iof this
great doctrine of protection to its
natural conclusion: If commercial
non-intercOurse is good for the nation
and the state l propose to apply it
also to the individual. Every man
shall raise his own food, clothing, etc.
build his own house, make his own
shoes, weave his own cloth, and buy
nothing and sell nothing. We can
thus dispense with railroads. steam
boats, wagon roads, shops, factories,
villages towns and cities all which are
at present a great source of expense to
the people. No man need leave his
farm from one years end to the 9TH
er; and as he will have no intercourse
with his kind he need have no educa-
ton, and this would doaway with the
necessity of schools and colleges,
another great item of expense; and as
there would be no mutual display of
finery, there need be no extravaganza
~ % ,;1
satins and broadcloth men and women
could wear the skins of wild beasts or,
in themilder climates, go Naked
J "Why,' said John Byers, '.you
would make saveges Of us y
"Precisely," said the General. land
why not! If it be good thing to re-
duce the money Of the country to a
livery small amount, would it not be
still better to abolish it altogether! If
commercial prosperity is to be feared
why not do away with all commerce {!
If over-prOduction has ruined the
country why not stop all production |!
If poverty and wretchedness are the
normal condition Of the people why
not go straight to barbarism 1t is
true the people might in their ignOr
ance rebel and refuse to starve with
that patience which becomes patriot
of the lower orders, but Ruthy has al
ready called on Congress to increase
the army to meet that contingency;
and the Secretary of war proposes to
establish a barracks in every leading
city, to keep the canaite in order SO
that the agonies of the dying shall
not disturb the peace of mind of the
| aristocratic and well-fed classes.
(Cheers.) And Grant has sent Elihn
Washburne over here to lecture on
the French Commune. 1T is as SER
viceable bug-a-boo as the Reign OF
Terror; and whenever man refuses
? to submit quietly to the process OF
g starvation we will call hima "commu
nist.' and that will end him. And
| contidentially, my friend. there is q
G rapidly growing conviction in the
| minds of the people of this country
: that the whole theory of popular gov
g ernment is delusion and a humbug
Y And w. X. says so too applause.
: ''And then, gentlemen of the con
!. vention, I have some gigantic scheme:
G on hand. have established an expert
!. mental garden in Washington for tht
f improvement of our domestic animals
t by judicious crosses. You see oul
I domestic animals are simply wild
v animals tamed:-they are kind O.
e accidents, such as1might natural.
occur in the world before ! became
e Commissioner of Agriculture. Bu
J all this is to be changed. Why shoulC
o the Merino sheep, yielding such in'
e wool, be such a small delicate animal
G am now engaged in experiments t.
II cross the Merino sheep with the Dur
L ham bull. We will then have
It fine-wool animal the size of a Norman
a horse and able to protect itself from
e dogs, and wolves which now SO dis
# tress the wool-raiser. Great applause
n | am also trying to perfect the bree'
d of goats which | brought up her
o from the South, Il borrowed them,
e by breeding head on each end. NJ
t theory is that if they have buttin
g apparatus at each end they will be i
y such state Of doubt as to which en-
: they ought to use that they will b
4 unable to butt with either. (Senss
l. tion.) / got this idea from our frien
l. Steb. whose intellect is equally dis
Y tributed between his two extremities
I diIu W lIO ID. do Il consequence, one o
g the most peaceful men in the world
| Cheers. and cries Of s.that's so! >
e But my chef d eaurre, my great wor
I of agricultural development, whicl
r will immortalize my memory to al
IL succeeding ages. is my combination 0
e the turkey and the hog
y ''Oh that's impOssible!'' cried one
o Nothing is impossible to him tha
e has the government treasury to dra,
e on. Look at it! The turkey Ia
n the finest meat in the world; but
); rarely weighs over twenty pounds
II Think what turkey would be tina
IS weighed 300 lbs! Imagine 50 Ii
/ ham Of turkey meat 1t makes tn
I, mouth water to think of it.
!. have number of hogs and tul
% keys now enclosed in pens in the Es
e perimental Garden at Washington
r So far the hogs have been disposed t