, 1877-01-20

gomery street was queer little den, to
be sure. Mr.. Chase, now bonanza
man worth $500. 900,
RAN THE JOB OFFICE
And acted "a foreman Of the newspaper
One day Eph Horn came in and go
some tickets worked for his benefit, TO
take place two days later. The day
was rather warm, and as Horn went out
he inquired if the programmes had been
printed yet. We replied in the mega
tive. but added they would be ready by
2 o'clock. At two the humorist came
in and asked. "Mr. Chase, where S them
piogrammes?"
They are not done yet sir, !" said Mr..
Chase in his usual polite way.
'"How's this" cried Horn; when I
was here this morning Mr.. Merry said
they would be ready at two"
I'll trouble Mr.. Merry to
MIND HIS OWN BUSINESS,
Replied Mr.. Chase with some severity.
Hes here to help edit newspaper.
and not to run a job Office. It's pretty
good man, who does what he is paid to
do" he added tartly.
But how can I sell any tickets on
the outside if 1 don't have a bill, to
show what's TO be played p pleaded
the funny man.
II don't know anything about that, +"
replied Mr.. Chase, coldly Here's two
jobs ahead of your bills. and they must
be done first"
Horn paused a moment, and flash
of humor lit up his features as he in
vented
HUMAN PRINTING PRESS.
He darted out OF the door at rate in
which game of casino could have
been played on his coat-tails. He was
not gone more than ten minutes before
he came back with pair of ,ohite linen
pants on his person. He pulled off his
coat. caught up roller, and linked the
form. Then jumping upon the impos-
ing-stone with the agility OF cat, he
sat down on the form.
'What the ID are you about ?"
roared Chase, for the little man has
temper OF his own.
II have pressing engagement here"
quietly remarked Horn, as he jumped
aown to the floor with the
FULL IMPRESS OF THE BILL
Upon a portion OF his figure where his
eyes could not reach. Chase and ours
self roared with laughter as the serious
comedian pulled on his long tailed coat
and started down the stairs. An hour
later he bad sold over three hundred
tickets by pulling up his coat-tali and
showing such sensation lines as MA
CURES Opera House. Benefit OF Eph
Horn" Greatest Bill of the Season
With tears of laughter his many friends
would buy five dollars worth OF tickets
from him at the very sight OF this walks
Ing advertisement on his trousers.
HIS EXCESSIVE LIBERALITY,
Together with his passion tor gamb-
ling. kept hin continually poor. If he
liked man at all. and that man a. ked
loan, he was just as apt to give him
twenty dollars as two and half Of
course, even his large salary of $3.50
per week did not keep pace with such
procedure. He sent money to Philadel-
phia to educate his son, who is said to
be quite clever theatrical critic, and
this he said was money we'll invested.
He once got out book of his songs
and prefaced it with his own biogra-
ply. compiled by us at his own dicta-
tion. 1t was less lengthy than this
sketch. and nothing was said about
payment for nearly a week. when Horn
came into the Office one day and said
How much for that little job ?' We
replied that he could fix the compensa
ton himself. "WilI this pay you?"
asked Horn, throwing down
FIFTY DOLLAR SLUG,
One of the octagon gold pieces that
have now disappeared from circulation.
In reply to our remark that we never
desired any such pay for few bours'
work, Horn said "Well, my boy, 1
guess you'd better take it and keep it
if you can. I've been round to hear
the tiger growl and that's hair
snatched off his back We snbse-
quen,ly learned that be had won $2,7O0
at single sitting at faro. When he
would begin to lose heavily, he would
call for ice-water, saturate his handker.
chief with it and lay it on top of his
head. When he won 800 bet he
would crv out "Ah, thank the Lord,
I've won bet.
HONESTY Is THE BEST POLICY
Or be would exclaim IAN honest man
is bound to win in the long run by in
dustry we thrive" His drollery never
fersook him. A fellow named Laugh
land was a pensioner on Horns mis-
taken charity for years. One night.
the King of Colored Men was in q bad
streak OF luck. at Steve Whipple's. He
had "bucked off" over 81, 800 in three
hours and had got down to a solitary
white chip: Laugbland approached him
and said Hurry up and win few dol
lars, so we can go to dinner dim
ner? cried Horn, "me make a win
ming With halt dollar, too? Why,
yon might as well talk about lowering
fen-ton locomotive aboard of ship
with horse hair!"
A SAVAGE PROPHECY.
He once had row with San Fran
cisco manager who paid him all the sal
ary he owed him for past performances,
but cancelled his enpapement which had