Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1877-12-13
Anmuruus department.
THE BARRIsTER AND THE WITNESS.


ance cannot 60, and the most even of tempers
will become ruffled at times. At the assizes
held during the past year at Lincoln, Eng,
both Judge and counsel had much trouble to
make the timid witness upon trial speak
sufficiently loud to be heard by the jury, and
it is possible that the temper of the counsel
NAV thereby have been turned aside from the
even tenor of its way. After this gentleman
had gone through the various stages of the
bar pleading, and had coaxed, threatened, and
even bullied witnesses, there was called into
the box young ostler, who appeared to be
simplicity personifed.
Now, SIR" said the counsel, in tone he
would at any other time have denounced as
vulgarly loud, II hope we shall have no diff
fculty in making you speak up"
ri hope not, sir" was shouted, or rather
beloved, out by the witness, in tones which
almost shook she building, and would have
alarmed any timid or nervous lady.
"How dare you speak in that way sr?'
said the counsel.
"Please, zur, I can't speak any louder,
zur," said the astonished witness, attempting
to shout louder than before, evidently think
ing the fault to be his speaking too softly.
"Prsy, have you been drinking this morn
ing ?" shouted the counsel, who had now
thoroughly lost the last remnant of bis tenn
per.
"Yes, zur," was the reply.
"And what have you been drinkingr
Coffee, zur."
"And what did you have in your coffee,
sir ?" shouted the exasperated counsel.
"a spune, zur," was the answer, innocent
ly spoken, amid the roars of the whole court,
excepting only the now thoroughly wild
counsel, who flung down his brief and rushed
out of the court.
Sp1rE-Spite does not always show itself
in this vulgarly practical shape. When
Count Stackelberg was sent as ambassador
from the court of Empress Catherine of Rus.
sia to the King of Poland, Thurgut was also
sent thither by Germany. On arriving at
the Polish court, Thurgut was ushered into
a splendid saloon, where he found an impo-
sing looking parsonage seated in great state,
and surrounded by numerous and oosequii-
GUS suite. The German ambassador took
him for the king, and went through the Gus
tomary formalities, and not until the entrance
of the real king did he discover that the in
dividual to whom he had been paying such
profound homage, and who had received him
in so naughty and digni6ed silence, was
Count Stackelberg.
Deeply mortified and humiliated, the Ger
man envoy retired, naturally entertaining no
very amiable sentiments toward the man who
had calmly sat and quizzed another ambas-
sador, making fool of himself.
An opportunity of giving vent to his feel
inps came in the course of the evening, when
the two ambassadors we're playing cards with
the monarch.
The King of Clubs" said Thurgut, throw.
ing down card, which, no doubt, he very
we'll knew was not the King of Clubs
NO." said the king, YOU'RE wrought is
the Knave."
81 beg your Majesty's pardon" returned
Thurgut, with malicious glance at the am
bassador at the other side of the table; IL beg
your Maiesty's pardon. That's the second
time today have taken knave for king. "
PRAY FOR GRAcE.-Old Uncle Roberts ia
a colored preacher, whose words of wisdom
are often long remembered, even if their ut.
terance lacks sometimes the beauty and FIN
ish of more polished speakers. Having as
his audience on one occasion two young men,
he discoursed to them as follows, prefacing
his remarks with an apology because, though
the hour was late when they called, he was
still at supper: Excuse me, young gemmen,
excuse me, for keeping you in waiting, but
de reason was tardy wid my supper, l was
tending to what I calls my duty fust My
custom is to pray free times day-in de
morning, at noon, and when my work is frew.
| has been round good deal, 'mong minis
ters and such, and l notice dey had der
breakfast, clear up de tings, and all dat. be-
fore dey hab any prayer. Now, my rule is
always to glib de inner man his breakfast tust'
Pray for grace, young gemmen, pray tor
grace. Satan always strike de weakest point
Take it way back in de garden dar Dar
was Adam and Eve libing happy togedder'
Satan he come along fust for mischief. He
dident say muffin to Adam, he knew better
dan dat, but be tackled Eve. Den she came
wild de apple, and calls out, Adam, Adam
whar are your Here is, Eve. What you
want? What dat in your hand ? Muffin,
she says, but apple; take it. Now. dey
being a kind of new married couple, he
ddent want to disobey, 1 spose, so he took it,
placed it in his mouf, tasted it, and de ting
was done. Pray for grace, young gemmen
always pray for grace"
RANDOLPH AND THE LANDLoRD.-John
Randolph was travelling in part of Virgin.
ia with which he was unacquainted. In the
meantime he stopped during the night at an
inn at the fork Of the road. The inkeepel
was fine old gentleman. Knowing who bis
distinguished guest was, he endeavored to
draw him into conversation, but failed in all
his efforts But in the morning when Mr.
Randolph was ready to start, he called tor
his bill, which, on being presented, was paid
The landlord, still anxious to have some con-
versaton with him, began as follows:
(which way are you travelling Mr.. Ran
dolph?"
Sir" said Mr.. Randolph, with a look Of
displeasure. -,
II asked" said the landlord, (which way
were you travelling"
"Have paid my bill ?"
eyes"
"Do 1 owe you anything more?"
"No."
"Well, I am going just where please-do
you underestimate"
The landlord, by this time, got somewhat
excited, and Mr.. Randolph drove of. But to
the landlords surprise, the servant returned
to inquire which of the forks of the road to
take. Randolph not being out of hearing
distance, the landlord spoke at the top of bis
voice:
"Mr. Randolph, you don't owe me cent