Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1877-02-10
Journey of the Fool Catcher.
BY A FOOL.

The Fool Catcher and I were walk
ing down the street, the Fool Catch
er with his book under his arm, an,
I, wishing I had been born, live,
and died, in those quiet days befor
he commenced his grand rounds
Mrs. Smythe herself came to tn
first door at which we rang; th,
briskest little woman in that neigh
borhood. With d hoM the Foo
Catcher handed her his card.
"Oh!" said Mrs. Smyths, looking
| first at the card and then curiousl!
at my companion, So you really dt
make your rounds! But you are a
the wrong house; Mr.. Clematis lives
in the next-the next-why-goot
Mr.. Fool Catcher" stammering ant
startled by something in the lool
of his eye-''you don't, you can't
you surely don't mean that you came
for me?"
"Dear Mrs. Symthe," answered
the Fool Catcher, blandly, l." there
are many species of Fool; and, can
didly, l have not on my books
more monstrous instance of ex-
travagant folly than your life.
Why, my dear Madam, it is well
known that you have paid over all
your husbands peace and your chill
dren's comfort to keep the sun from
your carpets, dust from your cor
nices, and scratches from your furni-
tune; to say nothing of the fact that
being given a good husband and
sweet children to develop into a
family, you have nothing to show, at
the end of fifteen years, but an un-
faded carpet and set of china, with
out flaw, that your had on your
marriage. Sorry to distress you,
but really must fall into line, ma'am. :"
So Mrs. Symthe took up her line of
march behind me, and we went on
to the door of Mr.. Clematis, a dear
little soul: but standing to Mrs.
Smythe for smartness in ratio of a
tack to a marline7spike.
"Good morning, Mrs, Clematis, /"
said the Fool Catcher, politely rails
ing his hat to that little woman.
quaking in her door. Sensible,
sunshiny woman!' to us. "She
that has discovered families are not
made for houses, but houses for
families. 1 have q great respect for
her. Her husband is one of the hap
piest men in town." and if you can
credit me, the Fool Catcher passed
on; actually passed Mrs. Clematis's
door and stopped at Grinders. Twas
not anxious to attract the Fool
Catcher's attention more particularly
to myself, but could not help ejacu-
lating:
why" this is Grinder housew
as if I had said Minerva's.
eyes, retorted the Fool Catcher,
curtly, Zone of the greatest fools on
my list. Men desire money to buy
ease and the good things of this life;
but Grinder sacrifices all ease and all
good things to get more money.
He has charming wife, whom he
might love if he had time; but he
hardly exchanges ten words with her
q week, he has no time to spare
from money-making; children run
ming wild, because he can spare no
tim. from money-making. Fine
tastes never gratitied; he must make
more money, an iron constitution
wearing thin for want of rest, from
the hurry of money-making. Fall
into line, Mr.. Grinder
And so here were we-Mrs.
Smythe, Grinder and I marching on
after the Fool Catcher.
Across the street stood an Irish
girl at her area gate, and, as she
stared at us, dropped from her hand
o letter which the Fool Catcher
caught, and smiled grimly. It read
as follows:
"Its movin again I've been Maggy q
livin out now is like the young ladies at
the piano you touches one key here q
another there Il don't stay long on none
OF them. When I'm sick Of 9Th Street !
tries 10th unless takes Q notion to Sth
when flies in temper with 1th Street q
SO OH. And so livin now with woman
in 9th Street had the waitress place q
there's two ladies besides meself, for cook
Il chambermaid & o colOred boy to DO
errands & tend door & q day woman In
every week to do the washing Il ironing
that the woman Mistress Blivins that Is
tried first to put off on the lady that's cook
4 meself Il we are very respectable though
we has no reception day q no man waiter
But thin minde them things the less that
have me eye on another place q In this
way we has variety Il q chance to study
the American faymale characther q l does
the thing regular bekase wants TO I'M
prove nv mind & acquire general 1nfor
nation Il oh Molly its a quare thing il
the american faymale characther for the
ladies' YOU see are all as good as each othel
a SO none of EN- wont lift a finger bekase
her neighbor don't & the poor american
women that's sewin out their hearts they
are all as good as any body too q they'll
starye sooner nor live out bekase they
wont take the ladies airs & the ladies
suffer sooner nor have EN- bekase tney
can't atand the womens airs q SO we steps
in even il we don't know from bulls 100
a rules the ladies that is as good on eacf
other a better not the poor american Wo
men list bekase there's nobody else to D'
had Il they knows If they sends as on tt
day theylf git no better or worse TO mor
row q if ycure thinkin that this is some
INV blowin why didn't I hear Mistress
Biiyins with me own ears complainin tina