The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1877-01-17
Items Of Interest.

"
What is that which flies high, flies low,
has no feet, yet wears shoes? Dust.
Now is the time to go around and
chase away the evolves" from your
poor neighbors' door.
In Brazil diamonds are found on noun
tales 5000 feet above the sea. This is
what makes them so high.
The largest number of "bolters in
Wisconsin at the election should have
been in Door county.
Probabilities: When you see 9 man
going home at two o'clock in the morn
Ing, and know his wife is waiting for
him, it is likely to be stormy.
Two railroad companies in Missouri
pay their hands with checks, for fear Of
having their pay cars waylaid and robbed
while running from point to point.
The following conversation took place
recently in q hotel "Waiter?" eyes,
sir" "What's this?" "It's bean soup,
sir" "No matter what it has been, the
question is-what is it now?" g.
A lady wished seat in crowded hall.
A handsome gentleman gave her q chair.
"You are Jewell" she said. ooh, no,
I am jeweler; I have just set the
jewel"
To obtain the necessary sinews OF war
the Russian government has issued no
tices that from and after the first Of JAN
uary next the import duties must be paid
in gold. ....- .-t
A Norman peasant does not believe
there is any virtue in vaccination, because
only two days after his aunt he'd endured
the operation she fell down stairs and
broke an arm. .-...:.s
It is stated that 10000 Philadelphia
families will break up housekeeping on
the first of January and start around the
country making Centennial calls. Re
yenge is sweet.
-"Thought I'd leave nly measure on
your floor" said man who fell down in
a barroom. "No necessity for that"
said the barkeeper. "We know exactly
how much you hold" @
When your steak is broiled done put it
on hot dish, sprinkle with minced par
sley, salt and pepper, lay on Jumps OF
butter, and put it into hot oven until
there is no 1uce or butter visible.
: "Mother, have I any children ?" asked
an urchin of eight summers. "Mhy,
no! What;put that in your head?" re-
turned the surprised parent. because
read to-day of children's children" )"
answered the acute juvenile.
The average speed Of railroad trains
from New York to the Pacific coast is
nineteen miles an hour, and the San
Francisco newspapers urge that it be in
creased to thirty, which would shorten
the journey over two days. -tta
A minister in Lexington, Ky, lately
said in the pulpit that he had seen
pack of cards and backgammon board
in the parlor of a member Of his church,
and after services several pious men
scolded their wives for carelessness.
"What is the trouble among our
Young men? Around here it seems to
be that there are six working days be-
tween every two Sundays, and they feel
that it is an unjust dispensatlon, and
that there ought to be more Sundays.
The paragraphist of the future will
write such items as this: GA strong
wind came through 4 window and over
turned Mrs. Weeder's crematory jar
Yesterday forenoon, and her husbands
urnings were swept away in twinlling." :"
General Hawley says that the best
thing he saw at the Exhibition was the
American people, and that during the
whole time he was there he did not see
single intoxicated person on the grounds,
nor did he witness any difficulty or alter
cation. .
In China agriculture is considered the
noblest Of arts to witch man can attain.
To such degree is the worship OF this
art carried that the annual tete day of
agriculture is attended by the emperor
in person, who on this day h'lmbly wields
the plow.
Let Turks delight to howl and fight,
for It's their nature to; let bear and lion
growl and bite, for madness made them
SO. But, Yankees, you should never let
your angry passions rise; don't quarrel;
trade, work hard, lie low, and forward
the supplies.
A man named Watts, living in Sac
county, Wisconsin, saw prairie chicken
on the top of his wheat stack and shot
at it. The wadding from the gun set
the stack on fire; the fire destroyed that,
the barn and the house. Loss, S2,5OO.
The chicken flew away.
In the department of Biscay, France,
every landowner must plant two saplings
for every timber tree he cuts down. In
Java the birth of every child is cele-
brated by planting fruit tree, which Is
as carefully tended as the record of the
ace of the child whose birth. it registers.
A novel attempt at suicide is reported
from Delphi, Ind. One Greiss, a hard
drinker, purchased ten cents worth OF
powder, filled his mouth with powder,
and touched it off with lighted
coal. His mouth and face were terribly
burned, but it is thought he will recover.
Seven Cinnamon are partners in bust
ness in San Francisco. A creditor. find
inc it hard work to collect debt, learn
ell that the money was in the safe, the
safe had seven different locks, each part
her had one key, and they had to be
unanimous before the money could be
got at.
One of the customers in a BARRIERS
shop sees dog of ,lngainly aspect sitting
opposite intently watching him. "Why
does that dog look at me so?' "Why,
sir, occasionally my hand slips, and 1 am
so unfortunate as to snip off bit Of ear. D"
"Eh and what them" "Why, then
he eats it.
The property of the proprietors of
faro bank in San Francisco has been at
tached at the suit of Parrott & Co.,
bankers, who charge that their default
ing clerk lost some S35, 900 of the funds
of the bank at the gaming tables Of the
defendants. 1t is rumored that q num-
Der of prominent citizents will be sub
pgnaed as witnesses for the plaintiffs,
and the affair is likely to cause some ex-
element.
At Il recent Sunday school reunion the
superintendent proposed that they form
a line and march to the song "Hold the
Fort" Accordingly the line was formed
with Deacon B. at the head. All went
beautifully until they came to the second
verse:
.:See the mighty host advancing
Satan leading on.
when they were all SO impressed with
the exceeding appropriateness OF tle
thing that singing, marching, decorum