Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-04-11
PITH AND POINT.

MARY WALKER feels very much put
out.
The cat is not mentioned In the Bible,
though the word "roof y occurs eleven
times, tongs" five times, and "hurl -
three times. The bootjack has not
been discovered.-Grophsc.
SENATOR DAVIS has only one sorrow.
He would like to have it arranged so
that only half of him would slip down
at once. Then one-half could pick the
other half up.-Datroa Free Press.
You go to shecaggo, hey?" said the
gentleman FROM Germany. "Vell, you
pc bretty careful about dat water dere.
Eff you dond want to ket seek, you
thinks none uf dat water dill you ket
used to him.-Rocbester Democrat.
A WIFE in Cairo alleges that she has
caught her husband in nine thousand
eighty-seven deliberate lies during the
last thirteen months.-DetroaF FIRES Press.
From this it would appear that she
doesn't see him oftener than twice
week.-Norr. Herald. 80
| A KANSAS farmer purchased revol-
yer for his wife, and insisted On target
practice, so that she could defend her
house in case of his absence. After
the bullet had been dug out of his leg
and the cow buried, he said he guessed
| that she'd better shoot With an ak.
MRS. PIKE, the wife of the Chicago
murderer, states ia her confession that
Jones, the murdered man kissed her
two hundred tsmes in one day. That
Is almost SIS ofteen as love-smitten
youth kisses his girl On the front step
when he bids her good night early
Monday morning.-Norr. Herald.
The winter of 1857 will long be re-
membered for its eccentricities. It
was like big bag of snow, with tight
belt buckled about the middle, so that
while storm poured out of both ends,
there was diaphragm of calm weather
Observation-Disclosures Gazette.
81 TO s" was the heading of Colonel
Ingersoll's lecture in Chicago paper,
and when a suburban citizen On the
way to town opened up his pa
per in the cars and saw that head
he most naturally exclaimed: "Base
ball commenced again."
A LITTLE scarlet fever convalesant
WAC OfCAhOd1o p1dymS IcpedtSO1y,
while about her play: ooh, good Lord
cure my earache!" Her mother asked:
What are you saying, my dear?"
Nothing" said the little girl, "Iwasn't
talking to you, I'm talking to the
Lord"
LADY Ito servant, who has given
notice three days after her arrivaD-
But if you didn't mean to stay why did
you take the place? Servsnt-Well,
m, when | saw you at the registry Of
fee you looked so tired and tagged,
took your situation out Of charity like.
SCIENCE may reach still further out
and light up the pathway of ignorance
as bright as day, but it will never con-
trive way of holding pillow while it
is being cased equal to the method en-
ployed by the servant girl of to-day,
who grasps the feather-stufed tick
with her teeth, and wriggles it into it's
receptacle. Fulton, Times.
THE large bustles which have been so
long in vogue are going out of fashion,
and that glorious season when the mid
dle-aged females could attend the an
nual donation party and carry off two
thirds of the pastors salary about her
person IN provisions, may be said to be-
long to a decayed past.-Nora0ich Bu!!e-
tim. .s.stisgIes oit tazz IS
The ,imperishable affection of
child for it's mother is equalled in no
other phase Of animal nature. A
bright Nevada boy of sixteen summers
has the extracted teeth of his ma
ternal ancestor manufactured into
cribbage pegs, and now, when he holds
five and 8 ten it doubly reminds him
of his deceased mothers maternal
smile, and brings tears to his eyes,
Boston Globe. grove
A WISCONSIN man who had been in
duced by Western papers to go to
Florida and start an orange factory,
passed through Atlanta on his way
home yesterday. His breaches were
harnessed to him by one suspender,
and he stood up to free lunch counter
with the air of man who knew his
rights and dared maintain them,-At-
lanta Constitution.
A MERCHANT in provincial town in
Scotland had habit Of saying cit
might haze been waur" to everything
! that was told him, however SAD the
story might be. A neighbor, thinking
that he would knock the wind out Of
him, one morning said, Man had an
awful dream last night. cay, what
did We dream ?" 81 dreamed that I
was in hell" 1T might haze been
waur." "How could it haze been waur :"
eff it had been a reality"
AT fire early the other morning, at
Newport, noted gambler appeared at
an upper window in white huttering
raiment and cried impressively for a
ladder, and then the jeering crowd
chatfed him, calling out, is your
ante up?" You're only two pair !"
= Hold the edge!" "Ain't you sorry
you staid in ?" Straddle the blind !"
and other obscure and ferocious ex-
pressions. He was ultimately saved