South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1877-10-19
WIZ AND IIUMoR.

the comments OF the men. One of the
men yelled: "Ohl what an enormous
foot! - and the lady came to and tried
to kick him.
ETA Antinomian reproached Mr..
Rowland Hill with preaching "a legal
gospel" DO you acknowledge" asked
Mr.. Hill. 'the Ten command ments?"
Certainly not Charles" said Mr..
Hill to the servant, "show that man the
door. and keep your eye upon him till
he is beyond the reach Of the coats"
IYA sexton belonging to parish
church in northumberland was collect
ing the Easter dues. Calling on one of
the parishioners who refused to pay, the
sexton grew angry, and exclaimed, "If
ye winnet pay this time, what wad We
say, when We dee, if 1 winnet bury ye!
10 At public contest lately held,
the following was the prize conundrum
What is the difference between tenant
and the son of q widow? The tenant
has topay rents; but the son Of widow
has not two parents.
YEA young woman applying for the
situation ofgoverness TO village school,
being questioned by the clergyman as
to her qualifications, replied: 81 amt
much Of an arithmeticker, but I'm an
elegant grammarest."
GVrIt is a Massachusetts editor who
cries out: Give us back the sun bon.
net of our grandmother" We haven't
seen his grandmothcr's sun bonnet; and
we don't believe his daughter would wear
it were he TO get it back.
EVA tourist, in search of natural
curiosities, coming to small stream.
looked over his memorandum, and ask
ed Dutchman near by if this was
Alder Creek, "Yaw,' was the reply,
Dis vas all der creelevat knows about
yust round here"
ES Some amusements was caused not
long ago, in an English Court.by female
witness who, on the oath being admin.
istercd, repeatedly kissed the clerk in
stead of the book 1t was some time
before she was made to understand the
proper legal thing to do so.
lVAn Ohio young man sat down the
other day and wrote on the back of
couple ofpostal cards. Then he turned
them over and directed them. but by
some mischance placed the address on
the wrong cards Tho result was mot
tho shirt monnroctrror j., NJ, vi.
cot n very nolita invitot;n, 80 ,o oOr
riooa rid;no somouboro 80, OF I'll.
the voung mans GIRL VIVA r,oda fron,io
by receiyino the following. ..pJo,so
send me SAMPLES of tbn strff po,r sbir,,
are mad, Of Fri ,,,,,o
A FAvoRITE STORY OF DICKEN's.-
The following story may have gone the
round of the newspapers but it is good
enough for rctelling, since Dickens
said Of it: You must know that have
appropriated that story and acquired
immense reputation by itr 1t occurs
in paper of "reminiscences in ScyiJner
for October, entitled "A Yankee Tar
and his Friends:
con one of CAPTAIN Morgan,s vovocos
i,io ,e.' ~ ..5 90 Io -" u''uoI
who SnooJiI,, g;a 49,, 49, ouns Iau5'
1917. e., iio' Ny
- Is ~" 5;o, yo'"e 5HSteI'eh 70 Cne
80, ~ "'Ss. ''e'loii one was quite
do lei e. o4 tI Ouo "naV CouIo sue
Lor ioL W. IN VIC e,iio"' t''sSineht OIL
Hc' ms quo sought .Ie captain Who'
L. sn o o , dos 'n"usuC' salo :
cidont ,o, ahau1J 10y ~, 'uipI'o' ny nc'
49, 49, 90, -" I I"y i'i' GneIoo"rG' l II
nm ond ynr, nor 49, 49, , 'o,'rJ ~ PlcH you
Won vol ono"nb nv ; INC man c4 "no ioses
1This mnroi ,,rarn, ~ JUMP "ise' you.
- 49,. piopo5'. ION lie' Tue young
,I o, On, ,no Plog anime was
avnon,;nS 90 90 r out, WIN tne trillhS
tooI, ,I,o IT, y".'S 'oua ~ 'no young men
bw th Wv, h p.""ee, "n", 1eins plCHeo up
SHU +' oSeli'e'' themselves
Tbp d",l' 80 III "pol .no sl'P ueck-
40 io 49, ,no. 81 C'til unoniiPeseI arGor'
state room and sent for her adviser, the
captain. NOW Captain" cried she in
Despair what am to do?' "Ah, my