The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1877-10-26

a 1ss schs r~skes too Rseh.
He slipped into an ice-cream saloon
very softly, and when the girl asked
him what he wanted, he replied:
"Corned beef, fried potatoes, pickles
and mince pies"
Thin is not a restaurant; this is an
ice-cream parlor," she said.
Then why did you ask me what
I wsntedf Why don't you bring on
your ice-cream''
She went after 1t, and as she re-
turned he continued; ftfr
"You see, my dear girl, you must
infer-you must reason. II isn't like
ly that I would come into an ice-cream
parlor to buy q grindstone, is III You
didn't think I came In here to ask you
IL you had any baled hay, did you'"
She looked at him in great sur
prise, and he continued:
of / owned a hardware store, and
you came in. would infer that you
wanted something in my fine. |
would not step out and ask you If you
wanted to buy a mule, would II
She went away highly indignant.
An old lady was devouring dish Of
cream at the next table, and the
stranger, after watching her for few
moments, called out:
my dear woman, have you found
any hair or buttons in your dishr
"Mercy, nol' she exclaimed, as she
turned around and dropped her spoon.
"well, I'm glad of it," he contin.
ed. IF You End any just let me
know IL"
She looked at him for half minute
picked up her spoon, laid it down
again, and then rose and left the room.
She must have said something to the
proprietor. for he came running in
and exclaimed
"Did you tell that woman that there
were hairs and buttons in my ice
cream :"
"No SIR" ~ uaf
"You didn't"
"No, sir, I did not; I merely re-
quested her, in case she found any
such Ingredients, to inform me-"
"Well, sir, that was mean trick"
my dear SIR" said the stranger,
smiling softly. ibid you expect me to
ask the woman IL she found the crow
bar or sledge-aammer in her cream
1t is impossible, sir, for such articles
to hide away in such q small dish"
The proprietor went away growing,
and, as the stranger quietly slipped
away at his cream, two young ladies
came in, sat down near him, and or
dered some cream and cake. He
waited until they had eaten a little,
and then remarked:
beg pardon, ladies, but do you OBJ |
serve anything peculiar in the taste Of
this ice-creamf"
They tasted, smacked their lips,
and were not certain.
"Does it taste to you as il plug Of
tobacco had fallen into the freezerf"
he asked.
"Ahl Kah !" they exclaimed, and
tried to spit out what they had eaten.
Both rushed out, and it wasn't long
before the proprietor rushed in.
'"See here, what in the blazes are
you talking about," he demanded.
"Wbat do you mean by plug tobacco
in the freezerf'
"My kind friend. I asked those la
dies if this cream tasted Of plug tobac-
co. l don't believe you put bit of
tobacco in it."
swell, You don't want to talk that
way around here" continued the pro-
prietor. my ice-cream is pure, and
The man who says it is not is bold
lar"
He went away again, and q woman
with q long neck and sad face sat
lown and said TO the girl that she
would take a small dish of lemon.ice.
1t was brought. and she took about
.wo mouthfuls, when the stranger in
luired
Excuse me, madam, but do you
NOW how this cream was made-have
'ou any idea that they grated turnip
md chalk with the creami"
She didn't reply. She slowly rose
up, wheeled around and made for the
loor. The stranger followed after.
By great luck his coattails cleared
he door in an instan, too soon to be
truck by ive-pound box of figs,
Iurled with great force by the indig- !
amt proprietor. As he reached the
urb-stone he halted, looked at the
IOor of the parlor. and soliloquized; !
There are times when people
hould infer, aud then there are times
then they shouldn't. Isuppose if ! !
ad asked that woman If she thought
hey hashed up a saw-mill in the
ream, she'd have felt q circular saw
ding down her throat"
A thousand dollar bond In 1868,