The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1877-05-31
Spring House-C -Cleaning-Wadso's Ex.
perience.

Simon Wadso, returning home with his
arms full of groceries, and his mind
full Of contentment at the prospect of =
well-served dinner, and aquiet, cosy even
ing in the bosom of his family, found his
programme, on his arrival at the house,
upset, and the prospect of quiet evening
as badly shattered as looking-glas
which cannon ball has passed through.
Instead Of a waiting wife and dinner, a
carpetless floor, soft-soap puddles, and the
furniture stacked in pyramids. greeted
him.
HAS there been fire." he mcekly in
quired of the servant, as he deposited his
parcels in the coal-scuttle, which had been
converted into corner ornament for the
mantlepiece.
"No, sir" replied the usually neat girl,
who appeared to be in an awful state of
rags and soap-suds::
"Visitcd by an earthquakc?" he calmly
asked, lifting bar of soap, a loaf of bread
and wet dishcloth off the crown Of his
best silk hat, and smoothing it on his
coat-slecve.
"Sure, the missus is house cleaning,
sur" observed the help, waving drip
ping scrubbing- brush madly to and fro on
the door.
The wife of his bosom entered at that
moment disguised with patch of stove
black on her fair cheek, her nose fiery
red from the cold, a pillow-case worn as
turban, badly-torn dress festooned
about her, and her feet encased in pair
of Wadsos Arctic ovcr-shoes.
"Good gracious! Maria, what's the
matter?" he exclaimed, glancing from his
badly damaged hat to his disreputable-
looking matrimonial partner.
"Why, I'm spring house-cleaning, and
have got all the carpets up and out in the
back-yar for you to beat this evening" ~
she replied in an exultant voice, and I'm
so glad you're back to help Annie and me
move the stove."
Don't you thirk love, he said, gloom
lily, lit would be better TO hire a man to
come in the morning and beat them,
-"
Nonsense, won't have strange man
here. You can just as we'll shake them as
not" she interrupted, briskly brushing
his eighteen-dollar seal-skin gloves off the
top of the sewing machine into soft-soap
puddle.
"When will dinner be rcady2" he asked,
despondently, as he rescued his gauntlets
and wiped them dry with his pocket.
handkerchief.
ooh, had to let the fire out to black
the range. If you're hungry, I'll get you
something to eat," she replied, leading the
| way into the kitchen, where, having
fished up an ironing blanket, the family
cat, sun-bonnet, and some clothes pins
out of the wash boiler, weck-old NUT
ton bone and some cold buckwheat cakes
were discovered, the table spread on the
corner Of the mantcl-piece, and dinner an
nounced as ready.
Wadso groaned in the spirit at the
sight of the unsavory viands, and his ap.
petite vanished like boys kite when the
string breaks.
"Now, if you're through, let's move
the stove," said Mrs. W., after allowing
him seventeen seconds to worry the NUT.
ton-bone in.
| Wadso rolled up his sleeves, mounted
the kitchen table, gave wrench at the
pipe head enough to haul an anchor out
of the mud. The next moment the table
had turned back somersault, he had
peeled the skin off his shins and knuckles
by falling over the stove, and his wife
was stamping around with tears in he,
eyes, and about peck ofsoot poured ove1
her face,
"Therc!I knew you'd do it" screamed
Mrs. W., looking as if she was blacked
for negro minstrel performance.
Wadso made no reply, his attention be-
ing divided just then between his lacer
ated shins and broken window, through
which he had driven the end Of that in
fernal stove-pipe.
"You did it on purpose, l believe
sobbed his sooty wife, wiping her fac,
with her petticoat.
Wadso said nothing, but tugged ava,
at the pipe, and, after knocking down
bird cage, upseting glass lamp, running