The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-12-20
Hunlbllgs.

SOME men love Jne1f wives, some
money; some love wine, some good
but. unitedly, all love hum
bugs. All deny it, of course; neverthe-
less, from childhood to manhood and
old age, the human family goes out af-
ter humbugs as daily food. We hum
bug our stomachs until they cry out in
pain, and in purchasing ease with pills
and patent nOstrums, of balsams and
pectorals, we erect monuments in the
marble fronts for the inventors, whose
bottles are all marked certain cure
We drink our wine, and halloo with
govt; we drink native whisky until our
livers are like the fat of a SouthdOwn
sheep. We guzzle beer until the stom-
ach is distended like Il balloon, and
threatens to occupy the entire space,
and would, if it were not for the bulge
at the waistcoat. And, while we do
all these things, we humbug ourselves
that it is seeing life, having fun and
grand good time. We look out upon
men and read their history, read it in
their shattered fortunes and blasted
hopes, and humbug ourselves that we
can wear their mantles and tread in
their footsteps, walking to glorious
success. We declaim against gambling
and it's vices, and humbug ourselves
that our duty to society is ended; wego
on Change and put up our margins on
stocks for tomorrow, or bet on Gods
sunshine and dewdrops and rain for
the thirsty earth next spring. We give
literally to works of benevolence, at
tend church possibly on Sunday, and
humbug ourselves that such acts are a
kind of holy priesthood absolving us
from responsibility the rest of the week,
as We take advantage of our fellows in
sharp trades, and make oppressive de-
mands upon those in our power. The
young man sowing his wild oats, and
the old man harvesting his, alike are
humbugged in the value of their crop.
But they love to reap, and they love to
SOW, and we suppose it will continue
thus until the ideal man shall arrive
upon the earth. We might hope with
reason that some of the many humbugs
and the love thereof would give way in
this grand era of progress; but the
mechanism of man seems to want a
balancc-wheel. He has achieved won
dcrs in the arts, in sciences and philis-
ophy, and made long strides toward a
higher, civilizations; and yet, when he
comes down to ruling himself. SO
as to make the most of life
for himself and his fellows, his head
seems to fail. We should be glad to
introduce woman, the created helpmcet
of man, to aid in this deliverance from
humbuggery; but we find her as hope
lessly enthralled as her Adamic COM
panion. There are multitudes of good
women, as there are of men-but we
are treating of the great masses that
move in society; and we find her cul.
tivating white hands, an idiot cut fol
the hair dropping square over the fore
head, trailing silk and velvet upon the
public highway; wearing shoes of bron.
chitis uppers and consumption soles, all
most plainly indicating that woman.
too, loves humbugs and cannot be dc.
pended upon as a reformer. While she
accepts the thraldom of fashion anC
worships at the affairs modern society
has erected, grand results need not bt
expected of her. With such an ances
trv we will continue to raise fair-hand
ed girls. ornaments for the parlor, ant
wcak-headcd young men, sharp at :
trade; who run mostly to shirt collars
and plug hats. 1t is thus we perpetuatt
the race of humbugs.
The world just now don't need thi:
class of people. We do not expect per
lection; we do not expect to get who'll,
from under the rule Of King Humbug
We can afford a quarter OCCASIONAL,
to see a woolly horse or the Cardiff
Giant, and take in the side-shows; blu
the daily offerings of life should b.
made up of something more substan
tial. 1t will hurt none of us to exam
inc honestly and see whether we ar
humbugging ourselves into any falls
conceptions of the responsibility an,
duty we owe to society. Amid all tn
shams there is a large reality in tn
world, which can be summed up in tn
words duty, pleasure and happiness
AS we reap the golden grain others hav'
sown, SO should we sow, that the gen
Grafton following may gather in plenty
The man who does not learn how t.
live and enjoy life until he is ready t.
die has been sadly humbugged.-Chicag
| Inter- Ocean.