Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1877-03-08
Auuraruus department,
WOULD BE A CLERK.

woman, appearing 10 Oe aoOuG HlCy years olu,
entered the store in company with her daugh.
ter-a thin-faced old maid of about thirty
and when clerk slid forward the mother
said:
"Not any goods for us to-day. Where's
the owner ?"
"Do you wish to see the proprietor ?" asked
the clerk.
"He's the man."
They we're shown into the Office. The mer-
chant supposed they owned village store,
and desired to stock up, and he welcomed
them with winning smile.
"My daughter Minerva Minerva Bolton,
said the old lady, by way of introduction.
Minerva and the merchant shook hands,
chairs were placed, and as the two sat down
the old lady said:
"She's one of the best girls in the State OF
New York"
"No doubt-no doubt, madam"
"After she has been in the store one month
you wouldn't part with her for ten dollars
day." said the mother.
"Ah-yes-yes."
"She's smart on figures, honest as an old.
fashioned winter, and she wouldn't be gig
Cling around with the clerks"
IL hardly understand you," said the
gentleman.
II want place for Minerva. She's sigh
ing and dying to be clerk" =.
"Ah! But have no vacancy just now"
s"I don't want any vacancy. want Miner
va to be clerk. She's just as smart as
wolf; and if she comes here, shall Of course
do all my trading with you. 1 don't know
but I'd take some bed-tick home with me to-
day, for they say that ticking is on the rise." :"
"Yes-but-but-"
81 know how you feel," she interrupted,
"but you can depend on her. Our postmas.
ter, Squire johnson, and heaps Of others will
recommend her. She's got a character, that
girl has. You might leave million dollars
with her and feel perfectly safe. Minerva, If
you sold four yards of factory at ten cents a
yard, how much would the whole thing come
to?"
"Forty cents, of course" drawled Minerva.
"See there-see there!' exclaimed the
mother. "Haye you clerk in the store who
can reckon figures as quick as thatY
"But have all the clerks want" be man.
aged to get in.
"You might discharge that cross-eyed young
man out there, and give this poor girl chance
for her life," pleaded her mother. elf she
doesn't get place she will certainly 60 into
decline and die.'
"Yes-but-but-"
minerva, if you sold four punches of hair
pins at six cents bunch, how much money
would you get?
"Twenty-four cents-any fool knows that,
replied the daughter.
"Can you beat that in this store? p proudly
inquired the mother. "If you take her you
can depend on her. She's always at home
nights, is not hearty eater, can put up with
children, and I know your wife would like
her. She can sort O do housework in the
morning and after dark, and so you'll be kill
ing two birds with one stone"
"I-can't take her-no-no. Got all the
help I want" said the merchant.
"Three dollars week and board takes my
daughter" persisted the mother.
"Can't-can't do it."
"Say two dollars"
"No-no."
"That settles it," remarked the mother,
as she rose up. Il see your object. You want
me to come down to dollar a week, but I'll
see you hung first. Come on Minerva did
think oflookiDg at some bed-ticking, but we'll
90 up the street. I'll git you a clerkshlp
where you can look right down on this store
as horse looks down grasshopper."
THAT FIRE.-"Is that fire going, my son p
called father from his bedroom on cold
and snowy morning.
Eyes, it's going" called back the boy from
the sttingroom.
Then the father, bounding from his warm
bed and grabbing his trowsers and stockings,
came skipping into the sitting-room, only to
find the atmosphere frigid enough to freeze
the cuticle right of his bare limbs, and not a
spark of warmth in the stove which the boy
stood puttering over.
II thought you s-said the fire was g-going?" ?"
bawled the parent, between shivers.
$50 it w-was," replied the irreverent lad
"g-going out"
Then circus performance started up in
that room, in which the smallest of the ground
and-lofty tumblers would undoubtedly have
been killed had he not thoughtfully lodged
out doors into the snow.
SHE WAS ENaAGED.-A young woman
recently answered an advertisement for din.
ing-room girl, and the lady Of the house seemed
much pleased with her. But before engaging
her, there were some questions to ask. "Sup-
pose' said the lady, "now only suppose, un-
derstand, that you were carrying piece of
steak from the kitchen, and by accident should
let it slip from the plate to the floor, what
would you do in such csse?' The girl look
ed the lady square in the eye for moment
before asking, els it private family, or are
there boarders p "Boarders," answered the
lady. "Pick it up and put it back on the
plate" firmly replied the girl. She was en-
gagged.
n| A tutor of one of the Oxford colleges,
who limped in his walk, was some years after
accosted by a we'll known politician, who
asked him if he was not the chaplain of the
college at such time, naming the year. The
doctor replied that he was The interrogation
observed, II knew you by your limp" "Well,"
said the doctor, "It seems my limping made
deeper impression than my preaching" "Ah,
DOCTOR" was the reply, with ready wit, ''it is
the highest compliment we can pay minis
ter, to say that he is known by his walk rather
than by his conversation"
RAISED H1M.-A policeman saw boy
leading big dog around, and believing the
dog to have been stolen, he asked, "Boy,
where did you get that dog?' ITO home, i"
was the prompt reply. "How long have you
had him ?" 20, ever so long," "You didn't
pick him up anywhere "No, sir, we raised
him from little child p was the grave an
swer.