The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1877-04-19
Items of Interest.


"Meat doesn't spoil in this climate"
said Californian who took the last fork
full of steak.
The Editorial Association of Pennsyl-
vania will make an excursion to the
Delaware Water Gap this summer.
The best old charade: In my first
my second sat, my third and fourth
ate" Answer-In sat-i-ate.
A Cincinnati quack, known as DR.. Ra-
phael, became conscience-stricken be-
cause of the death of several patients,
and killed himself.
Brother Moody has converted news
paper reporter in Boston, man who
describes himself as having led ga wild,
rollicking, blasphemous life"
Soup houses are growing in favor all
over Germany, owing to the distress
caused by business depression and the
resulting hard times among work people.
Several charlatans who treat victims
of the opium habit have received the at
tention of the Chicago Tribune, which
says that their prescriptions almost in
variably consist Of lessening doses Of the
drug.
A gentleman had occasion to correct
his daughter, aged four, recently. After
it was over and she had sat while, she
went,to her mother and inquired" Don't
you think it would DO papa good to go
outdoors ?"
A Chinawoman was sold by her hus-
band to n fellow countryman in Cali
fornia for $3.50. She was then healthy,
but she soon fell sick, and was disabled
for work, 50 the purchaser killed her
with q cleaver.
Was it not rough on Ella, just as she
was telling Frederick, at lunch, how
ethereal her appetite was, to have the
cook bawl out Say, will yer have yer
pork and greens now, or wait till yer
fellers gone ?"
A friar, when preaching in nunnery,
observed to his female auditors, "be not
too proud, that our blessed Lord paid
your sex the distinguished honor of ap-
pearing first to a female after resurrec-
ton; for it was done that the tidings
might spread the sooner"
On the arrival in Boston of the news
of the capture of Lord CORVALLIS and
his whole army, one African meeting an
other salutes him thus: "Oh how do,
Cuffee. You hear bout CORVALLIS ?"
"No. What about CORVALLIS ?" "Why,
General Washington shell offall de Corn,
and now he Corvallis"
A Western farmer charged stick in
his wood pile with gunpowder, for the
purpose OF detecting thief. The thief
didn't get hold of the loaded stick, but
his wife did, and after paying for a new
stove, dozen panes OF glass, and aplas
terer's bill, he confessed it would have
been cheaper to let his neighbor carry
off the entire wood pile.
An extraordinary suicide recently took
place ON the Circular railway, Paris. A
well-dressed young lady asked at the st.
Lazare station for ticket for Passy, but
then, correcting herself, said: 81 think
Batignolles will be far enough" AS soon
as the train was in motion she descended
on the opposite side of the platform, threw
herself under the wheels, and was crushed.
We use a seidlitz box for match safe
in our kitchen. This morning we went
there for match and found broken
hinge, a metal knob, three screws,
five sizes of nails, knife blade, two corks,
a spoonful OF disabled tacl1s, piece of
court plaster piece of worsted, can
celed postage stamp, a recipe for
mullins, and the part of three-cornered
file. We got light from the stove.
-Daabury Neaos.
At Southern hotel bar an eager con-
troversy was pending 'twixt various gen.
erals, majors, ETC., when a quiet fellow
observed: 81 happened to be there,
gentlemen, and possibly may be able to
refresh your memories" Thereupon he
proceeded to give succint account of a
smart action. "What might have been
your rank, sir ?" asked the hotel keeper.
81 was private" About to start next
day, he demanded his bill. "Not a cent,
sir; not cent. You're the very first
private ever met"
A poor woman was lately mounting a
hill in France, dragging after her little
carriage containing her child, when the
carriage of the mayor of Marissel came
slowly along. Feeling weary, she at
tached her burden to the mayors car
riage, but he, knowing nothing of what
was going on, suddenly touched up the
horse, which started at canter. In
vain the poor woman screamed; the car
riage rolled swiftly away, and when she
reached village none could tell what di-
rection the mayor had taken. At length
q ge'adarnae was found who threw some
light on the matter, and the poor mother
found her child in the mayors nursery.
where every possible attention had been
lavished upon it.