River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-01-25
Showing Off" a Child.
Are you a parent !


If so, then you know all about it.
OF course your child, be it boy or
girl, is paragon. They all are, in the
estimation of their parents, which is
perfectly right and proper. We have
no fault 70 find with the great natural
law which causes all progenitors,
whether bird, brute. or human, to love
their offspring.
Everybody knows that there is no
surer method of winning Che ill.will of
a doting father, or mother, than by in
sinuating that his or her baby is not
so forward and interesting as Mrs.
Smiths Johnny.
You had better upset beehive, or
tear down a hornets nest at noontide,
when all the inmates are at home to
dinner, than to venture upon any such
declaration.
In every well regulated family there
s baby, and the baby is the autocrat
of the household. He may be month
old, or he may be ten years old-no
matter-he is s'the baby" until the
next one comes.
When visitor arrives for an aftel
noon call, just as soon as the weather
and the fashions are disposed of, the
baby admiration seance begins. If
your visitor understands human nature
to any extent, she begins by extolling
the baOy's eyes, and she says she has q
lovely complexion, and such cur ming
dimples in its cheeks, and such luXuri-
ant hair, just the color of its fathers
but otherwise than its hair it is the
very image of yourself.
And you feel extremely well satisfied +,
and steal look in the mirror, and flat
ter yourself that those aTtful touches
of pearl powder on your forehead
where you are ever so little s'motley, :"
are not discernible, and you congratu-
late yourself on the new hair restorer
which makes your locks so black and
glossy. and, as Charles says. "not a day
older looking than when he married
you -
And of course you are SO pleased at
the good sense of your visitor, that
you invite her to stay to dinner, and
you tell Charles that night, that Mrs.
b. is the most delightful woman of
your acquaintance She admired baby
so much /!
We have observed that when there
is company, mothers usually do their
best TO ''show off, their children, and
children on such occasions seem en-.
dowed with a fatal facility of not
''shOwing off, well. They are like the
end of the world to the Millerite sect
they do not come off as advertised.
Little May ''speaks her piece about
that historic lamb, with sits fleece as
white as snow" splendidly, when no
body but the family is present but
when Mrs. Smith runs in with thai
Johnny of hers, and you bring Mary
before the footlights, and confident
ally expect she will astonish Mrs
Smith by her performance, she forget'
half the piece, and puts her thumb il
her mouth, and, on being reprimandet
for it, begins to cry, and fills the
house with her frantic screams, anC
crowns the catastrophe by falling over
an ottoman, and displaying to the Wis
itor that ragged place in the embroid
cry of her petticoat, which you ha(
battered yourself nobody would see
it was SO out of sight
And just as you are picking her M
and trying to hush her fretfuf cries, il
comes Tommy with his face dirty, his
pants torn. and in deep trouble about
the loss of his kite, and the one baC
word which he has picked up in hi.
association with the street gamins
comes out with emphasis, and Mrs
Smith draws her virtuous Johnny Il
her breast, and declares she must bt
going.
Mother, did you ever dress your baby
up in his very best, without some dire
mischief of dirt or general ruin be
falling him!
Did you ever keep his hair week il
papers, so that he could speak his par
at the Sabbath-School concert in al
the glory of curls, but what it was sure
to rain on the momentous occasion
and make his hair as straight as fence
posts
Did you ever forget to wash hi:
hands after he had INDUCED in the lux
ury of doughnuts, or bread and mo
lasses, but what he left the marks OF
his fingers on your dress, or that OF
some caller
Did you ever intend to carry hin
anywhere without his having crying
spell and spelling his eyes just pre-
vious!
Did you ever-but there, we might
go on asking questions of this kind
until we filled the paper, and still moi
come any nearer in our seekings after
the reason of why it is that children
cannot he ''shown off, when you want
to show them.