The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-04-21
BUDGET OF FUN.
\yan,ed to see "Der Adiror.

He entered the JOu1ual Office with tie
smell of buckwheat cakes on his garments
and blood III his eye. lie had on an army
oyercoat; a plush cap and trown darker
than a thunder cloud folded three thick. He
looked at the foreman who was lust sitting
down TO rive man credit for l. cents GA
subscrirton, and sternly inquired:
"Vhere ish der Adlt0r:"
ale lust stepped out momen: ago"
"Shteppcd oud Ell? When viii he shtep
in"
Expect HIM back very soon. Anything
can 10 for you!'
"Maypc he knows vos gooming, und dots
Wy he shtepped oud"
"Well, couldn't say as to that
"Goodnteh? Veil wait a leedle und he
gooms back, eh?'
81 think he will be in, sir, in a few mo-
ments"
81 hat leedle pishness nit him. What
vos he peen zayin 'boud me in dot Shour
nal?"
"About you? don't know sir"
Wall, by shiminy, he gay vos got drunk
and raised some hale Won tay, urd shOost
zee 'boud dot"
Think you must be mistaken, sir I
"Dink vos, ell? Maybe got some trienGs
vot tole me all 'boud dot! | find oud all
'bnud id, py shiminy! find id all Qua IN
swy minds. He zay vos drunk und make
some droubles, und When be gooms PACK
shoost see 'boud dot. plack his eyes, Ply
shiminy, und gick HIM und knog his pralns
oud MAYBE, for dot. ShCost let him COON
pack und SHOW him all boud i'd"
Somebody's been putting up JOB on you'
fear" observed the foreman
81 dond got any toolishness NIT you l
Wait dll he gooms pack und got some zatis-
faction. | glck him right away down sh'airs
so gwick der leedle guss wont find oud val
vas allied HIM. l bald your
"But, my friend, guess you don't know
him lie is twice as big as you are; weighs
240 pounds, ald got lots OF muscle
HE vos terry large"
"Well, about the size Of Atkins, down he!e
the banner man"
"Ish dot so? Adgins vos a stoud man.
"Yes, either one of 'em can pick up a bar
rel of salt and throw it across the road, with
out grunt."
"Py shiminy! ish dot 500"
Yes There, there comes the editor now
cried the foreman aiming his finger OF Capt
Fuller (another 240 mani who was coming
down Bridge street
"Dot vos the aditor? Veil, Of he didn't gay
noting 'boud me dot vos all right"
Lets see, your name 49,
"Yaw, dot ish my name
We'll come to think, believe he dld say
in the J0urnal week or two ago that YOU
get drunk at IS saloon, kicked out three
or four window lights, smashed up lev
chalrs.and tried to steal five cents OF small
boy to buy another drink with"
"Nos DOT all he SAID: :"
Il believe he said that man who w0u'u
conduct himself in such an outrageous man
ner ought to be tarred and fcathered and rode
out of town on raj"
What else did he zay?"
II think he closed by remarking that J.
he'd been the owner OF the property, he'C
have smashed you into Dutch cheese in less
than two minutes"
Ind dot vos all he gay 'boud me in dos'
papers,?
'Well that is about all | remember now.
"Nell, Ply shiminy, yos pig fool OF go
mad 'boud a leedle SMOKES like dot. g
right away oud und gay nottlngs 'boud ID
Dose vellers vos dryIn' TO put some shoO OF
me- Dey gay he vos hurt mine garacter uni
know 1t vas a tam lie all Ger While. +,
shiminy wish | vas pig as Adgins, pa
some head on dose vellers, you bald"
Just then the devil in the press room CAV
Commanche war-whoop and the foreman
heard Il man going down stairs as though hi
satanic majesty was after him.-Er.