The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1877-01-25
ITEMS OF INTEREST,

| tlldt bedC dS One.
A LAWYERS life is brief, but moi
necessarily merry one.
NEVER take a pass-book to store,
but take your pocket-book.
THE wise old man who said this was
going to be dry and snowless winter
keeps out of sight.
THERE is one virtue about these hard
times. They keep thousands on thou
sands of men sober.
The Austrian Government intends
making the insurance of all railroad
passengers compulsory.
THE lactometer invented for testing
the milk of human kindness reports
the fluid thin in some places.
MANAGERS are introducing incom-
bustible scenery for theaters. Wanted
now audiences that are panic-proof.
Mrs. PARTINGToN is credited with
saying that few persons nowadays
suffer from suggestions of the brain.
THERE are no successes that come to
people without labor, thought, care,
privation and application, reaching
through years. -
THE Philadelphia Inquirer comes
right down to hard-pan and says that
nine-tenths of the men in the world
are honest men.
"THAT leap years lost whose low
a husband won," is the New orleans
Republicans moralizing. s
PROF. TICE, of st. Louis, refuses
to make any more weather predictions
until summer. Along about July he
can predict mild weather and make a
good hit.
THE credit system is one of the great
est curses to the laboring man. If you
wish to keep out of debt and live indie
pendent, never run an account at the
store or grocery.
WITH the new year commence right.
In buying, do so according to the means.
and pay cash. In this way less will
be bought, at lower rate, AMI generally
better article.
LAST year one of our eminent pro-
fessors stated that wet straw was good
to build fires, and now another of our
eminent men decides that green wood
is best for fuel.--Ioaoa State Register.
SAYS AndreDs' BazGr:: cit isn't
Chinese cheap labor that's going to ruin
us; it's the disposition to lean up
against the sunny side of the fence and
let some other feller speed the plow!'
CHINESE babies never howl. One
of them can be left alone for twelve
hours and he never moves off his back.
He reasons that he is left alone for
good cause, and the situation is hum
bly, accepted.
CONVERSATION of street boys, both
less than ten years old: First Boy
"When l ketch Jim I'll lick him, you
bet" Second Boy" When I was lit
tie 1 used to like to fight like every
thing, but now I don't care nothing
about it"
"Do you reside in this city?" asked
masked man of a masked lady at a
masquerade party, the other evening.
He felt sick when she said to him, in
a low voice, "Don't be fool, John
I know you by that wart on your
thumb" 1t was his wife.
THE following is genuine copy OF
bill made out by the hostler of an
inn in village in Dorsetshire, Eng
gland: "Afortheos (hay for the horse),
3d.; clininosansha Cleaning horse and
chaise), 4d. brininonimomigin (bring.
ing him home again, 3d.; total, is. Id.
THE San Antonio Herald describes
scene before the Grand Jury as fol-
lows: Foreman Gentlemen, it is not
necessary to administer the oath o1
secrecy to this witness, as he is mem.
Der of the press, and nobody would be-
lieve anything he might divulge any
how"
AMONG the replies to an advertise
ment of a music committee for "s
candidate as organist, music teacher"
etc., was the following: Gentlemen
I noticed your advertisement for al
organist and music teacher, either lady
or gentleman. Having been both fol
several years, offer you my services
|. TRus happi ness is not the growth Of earth;
The toll is fruitless II ye seek it there;
Tis an exotic Of celestial birth,
And blossoms only In celestial air.
Sweet plant of Paradise; its seeds are sown
In here and there mind Of heavenly mold
1t rises slow and buds, but ne'er was known
To bloom-the climate is too cold.
THE New York Herald has informa
| ton that the British Government in
tends to arrest Stanley Africanus upoi
his return. It is said he carried tn
British flag while practicing on the ma
tives with explosive balls. The Herald
thinks the British Government woult
have a good time arresting an explore
who might see fit to display the Britisl
flag in this country, and does not be
| lieve that Stanley can be " fooled with
for carrying any kind Of . flag ii
Africa --.----.4.---..--