The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1877-06-28
WIT AND HUMOR.

WIT AND HUMOR.
A p1oUs young lady-The church
BELIZE.
A POOR man is to be avoided-He lacks
principal.
WHEN is a soldier not a soldier? When
he's mustered.
WHY is an angry man like q camel?
Cause he's got his back up.
AN Indian woman is a squaw; there
fore an Indian baby is squawling.
IT is affecting to hear an cold maid"
singing her poodle to sleep to the air,
I" Ii ever / cease to love-"
A MAYOR out West has determined to
kill half the dogs in the city, and tan
their hides with the bark of the other
half.
A BOY. having been told that reptile
is can animal that creeps," on being
asked to name one on examination day,
promptly and triumphantly replied, ga
baby"
The farmer should SOW his P's, keep
his US warm, hive his BIS, remember
what he C's, take care of the VS., teach
his wife not to Us, pay all he O's, and
take his E's.
IT is useless for physicians to argue
against short-sleeyed dresses. The con-
stitution of the United States says that
"the right to bear arms shall not be in
terfered with. -
A LITTLE boy asked lady who made
her teeth, Nv Creator" she replied.
Well" said the little fellow, ''Dr. For
bush made my mas, and they beat
your'n clean out O sight"
"MY DEAR" said gentleman to
young lady to whom he thought to be
married, ''dO you intend to make fool
of me?" "No," replied the lady, "na-
ture has saved me the trouble"
OLD bachelors will read with subdued
joy the following epitaph on one of their
order, written by himself:
At threescore winters end died,
cherries being. sole and sad
The nuptial knot 1 never tied,
And wished my father never had.
A MAN had blue glass put in his wife's
sitting -room-to match her eyes, he said.
She returned the compliment by having
red glass put in her husbands library
to match his nose, she said. He didn't
seem to appreciate the compliment.
A YALE graduate may thoroughly IN
derstand Greek grammar but, when he
comes to fill his big meerschaum pipe,
and finds his tobacco box empty, his dis
appointment is just as keen as if he had
never studied anything out English COM
position all the days Of his lif e.
GINA, what is lanker?" inquired a
bright-looking child, the O Their day.
L" I'm sure don't know, my on where
did you hear the word" ''Why, at
Sunday school; you know they sing,
"We'll stand the storm, it won t be long,
We'll tanker by and by"
LET me see, said the nurse of a sick
man. "The doctor said one teaspoon
full every ten minutes. That makes six
every hour; say seventy-two during the
night [ shall give him seventy-two
spoonfuls right away, and have a chance
to get a little sleep myself.
Now Is the time for lovers to get
spooney over ice-cream, she taking few
pretty dabs at his vanilla, and he Dor
rowing taste Of her chocolate. This
process inspires confidence in the day
when they will be throwing cOrned beef
and cabbage across the table.
A CHICAGO lady, whose colored coach
man is curious specimen of his race,
lately observed to some friends that at
times the man was perfect enigma,
and all hands were not little dumb
founded to hear the lady's youthful son
break out with the exclamation: "Why,
of course, he's a-nig, ma-just see how
black he isI'
THERE was quite company of fashion
able guests shting round the table after
dinner, who happened to disagree as to
the date of certain event of which they
had been talking, when the hosts Swear
old 'un attempted to expedite the solu-
ton of the problem by suddenly asking:
" Why, mamma, what day was it you
washed me ?"
THE Ohio State Journal tells OF VII
lage clergyman who, visiting parishion-
er suffering from lingering disease,
to his wife hope that she
sometimes spoke to him of the future.
"I do, indeed, SIR" was the reply.
I" Often and often / wakes him in the
night and says: John, John, you little
think of the torture as is prepared for
you.
Arctic Phenomenon.