Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1877-05-10
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS,

"A mighty king has lately appeared On
our coast: Ship Rex.
Out West they are beginning to be
spoken of as Crazy Horse-tiles.
Flies that have lain dormant all winter
are coming out and shaking themselves.
"A young lady at Griffin, Ca, has sued
railroad company for $4,000 for the
loss of leg sixteen years ago.
Boston isn't to blame because the
Hoosac tunnel doesn't pay. Shewas will
ing to dig the hole and take her chances.
There continues to be a dreadful dis
crepancy between the number of men who
want to borrow and the number who want
to lend.
The very last charge recorded in the
books of the Southern Hotel, according to
the Chicago Times, was "To fire in room,
fifty cents.''
Rutland, Vt, is quiet town. The
other day needless stranger cried "hur-
rah" in the street, and stfaightway there
was an alarm of fire sounded.
The Christian Union says that people
should cherish their misfortunes. If you
back note for man and have to pay it
you feel just like the Christian UnG0n.-
Detroit Free Press.
1t is said of German, an inveterate
beer drinker, that when he rises in the
morning he is beer barrel, and when he
retires to rest at night he is barrel of
beer.-N. Y. Tribune.
The humble bees have broken up their
winter camps, and it isn't safe to sit down
on sunny bit of green sward, now, until
you have carefully reconnoitered the grass
with a astick.-Erchange.
NO lrishman ever made a greater bull
than the English lawyer who drew up an
indictment charging that the prisoner
killed a mar with a certain wooden in
strument called an iron pestle.
The Christian Union says that it
makes man purer and better to cherish
rejected love. There is more fun, how
ever, in going off and making love to
another girl.-Nora0tch Bulletin.
Hanging on a peg in the Derrick
office is golden crown studded with dia-
mOnds. 1t is for the man who writes an
article on trout-fishing and says nothing
about "speckled beauties. .''-Oa Caty Der
rick
News appears to be dreadfully
"scuEse'' up in Maine. One of the Pine
tree papers, utterly desperate with ennut,
records the occurrence of the eighth ami
versary of the freezing to death of litter
of pigs.
The positi IN of labor never yet de-
graded the person. The pursuit of hon.
est~industry cannot lower the standard of
respectability. Nor did mere wealth or
education ever make lady or gentleman
-I6a0a State Register.
The new jury law of Florida provides
that when, in any case, civil or criminal,
knowledge of reading, writing and arith-
metic is necessary to enable a juror to un-
derstand the evidence to be offered. he
may be challenged if he does not possess
such qualifications.
=" Put out your tongue little further"
said physician to a fair invalid. "a
little further still, if you please" why,
doctor, do you think a woman's tongue
has no end?" said the gentle sufferer. 'FAn
end, perhaps, madam" replied the doc
tor, g but no cessation.'
An enraptured Burlington lover, hear
ing his sweetheart sigh dejectedly the
other evening, rapturously administered a
quartette Of kisses and exclaimed: !" You're
mine now, in spite of fatel" "And
why?" she asked. Because" he said,
"four of a kind beats ace high" But
she believes to this day that he played
cold deck on her.-Buwl5ngton Hdwk- Eye.
He had come over to see her father,
and they had been sitting together for some
time alone, and at length she tenderly
asked him why he didn't get married.
And he replied, with some agitation, that
he had always feared that if he did some
time he might stroll Into a saw-mill and
be pushed against the saw, and have one
of his legs taken off, and have to wear a
wooden one, and he thought it wouldn't be
fair to his wife. And then he added
nsrvously that he was in hurry, and
thought he wouldn't wait any longer
Nora0jch Bulletin.
"A young New York married man,
travelling in Kansas, recently received the
dispatch: Return Immediately. You
are a father On the eve of his return
bis lady friends determined to play joke
Oh him. They procured from the neigh
borhood three other babies, placed all four
in row on bed in an adjoining apart
ment and covered them up. When he ar
rived, he embraced his wife in great de-
first born. When the cover was raised, an
lndescribable look of surprise overspread
his countenance as he exclaimed, "Great
heavens! Did any of them get away?"
=" Stranger, 1 want to leave my dog
in this 'ere office till the boat starts I'm
afraid somebody will steal him." "You
can't do it" said the clerk; take him
out" "Well, stranger, that is cruel; but
you're both dispositioned alike, and he's
kinder company for you" ''Take him
outr' roared the clerk. "Well, stranger,
don't think you're honest, and you want
watching; here, Dragon" he said to the
dog, sit down here and watch that fell
low sharp and, turning on his heel,
said, "Put him out, stranger, if he's
troublesome The dog lay there till the
boat started, watching and growing
every movement of the clerk, who gave
him the better half of his Office.
LFishes have no eyelids and necessarily
sleep with their eyes open; they swallow
their food whole. Frogs, toads and SER
pents never take food but that which they
are satisfied is alive. When bee, wasp
or hornet stings it is nearly always at the
expense of its life. Serpents are so te
nacious of life that they will live for six
months or longer without food. Seals can
be trained to perform many curious tricks.
1t is believed that crocodiles live to be
hundreds of years old. The Egyptians
cmbalmed them. In South America there
is a prolific honey which has not been
furnished with a sting. The head of the
rattlesnake has been known to inf1ict a
fatal wound after being severed from the
'odY.