The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-09-20
Mark Twain's Cheek-Why He and Dan
De Quille Severed Their Friendship.
california Footlight,

These two sagebrush wits once roomed
together during the early days of Vir-
ginia City, when everything was in its
primitive state, and before the ad-
vancing hand of civilization provided
the comforts of metropolitan life. Both
were employed on the Enterprise-Dan
as the crock sharp" and Mark as the
funny man." One of Marks eccen-
tricities was to shirk all kind of respon-
sibility, and he invariably left Dan to
do all the buying, rent-paying, etc., and
by dint OF much perseverance and an
equal amount of forcible persuasion,
Dan managed to make Mark pay his
quota toward the expenses-not that the
latter regretted separating himself from
few shekels, of course not; but from
an indisposition to be bothered with
such trifes, as his mind scared to higher
things than "a dollars worth of COAL"
I" four bits worth of kerosene" or a
quarters worth of washing SOAP" etc.
Mark carried his indifference to ex-
tremes; but there was really no limit to
his cheek. He possessed the pure, gen.
uine, unadulterated article. He would
borrow Dams comb, use it, put it in his
pocket, and blow Dan up for not pos
was never known to own a pair of
drawers or an undershirt, or even pair
of socks; but he would walk the streets
in suit of Dams best, which he had ap-
propriated from the latter's trunk, and
then swear because they happened to be
a button off the shirt. He would go to
Dams trunk, examine the articles
therein, and then turn to that person
and ask him if he didn't have pair of
socks without hole in the heel.
Mark and Dan were both inyeterate
smokers, and of course, we know who
bought the tobacco. If Dan should hap
pen to get hold of an inferior brand,
and fill the box with it, Mark would in
innate that when people bought tobacco
they might exercise little judgment,
and not get stuff that man couldn't
use.& These little peculiarities of
Marks nature, though somewhat expen-
sive to Dan, were nevertheless enjoyed
by him; but one day Mark overleaped
the bounds of Dams amiability, and
that individual got mad. Think of Dan
De guile in passion!
1t seems Mark ran out of tooth
brush, and how to replace it without
sacrificing some of his mining stock
puzzled him considerably. But bril-
liant idea one day thrust itself into his
troubled sconce. "Heaven be praised
for the thoughtp' soliloquized he;
genius will be rewardedw So one
morning, standing by the washstand,
just after rising, he picked up the COW
eted article, and, turning it round and
round in his hand. said to Dan, who was
still snugly ensconsced between his
blankets, but with one eye on Mark:
"Say, Dan, that looks like my brush
"Liar!" shouted Dan; that brush
did an Egyptian to my mother givew
"The deuceH' shouted the cheeky
Mark and has the old woman prac
ticed on it, too?'
"Aye, verily!" quoted Dan.
"And how long, my perfumed
blanket-sweater, have you cleansed those
foul snags of yours with it?''
"Nine years, "faintly murmured Dan
who was beginning to have suspicion;
that his old dental companion was about
to leave him.
Nine years." said Mark, rubbing the
article on the soap. "Bully! If there
is anything that hate, it is to break il
new toothbrush" And in quarter
of a second that almost hairless piece o
ivory was exploring the cavern under
Marks nose. Dan could not brook tht
insult. A boot-heel instantaneous,
sunk into Marks skull, and the tive
great wits Of Nevada were friends NJ
more.