Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-06-07

as much delicscy "a the French &C.
tress who replied to an offer of mar
riage 81 am not 81 silly as TO mar
ry man who has the folly to wish
TO marry me-"
Young men mako tho mistake Of
thinking sometimes tina. girls in
their anxiety to b. provided with
husbands are not over fastidious
about the habits of young mon.
will coDcede that what with the
pains moss men take 10 conceal bad
ha.its before marriage. and what
with the ineyperience and thought
lessness of many girls, there is good
ground for such suspicion. But
even the most thoughtless woman
soon awakens to sense OF the inju-
ry done herself by an alliance of this
kind, and domestic infeliclty is sure
to follow. People say, she krew
what he was before she married him,
and she need not complain now !"
"She made her bed, and she must lie
in it," etc. 1t is mistake to say
that she knew before she married
what it would be to live with such a
person. IF she had known she
would not have married him. How
can girl who only knows in a gen.
eral way that there are such and
such vices in the world. realize what
it is to live with them
Does it not strike you as strange,
now that you think of it, how much
more fastidious you claim to be, than
women are, according to your pre-
conceived notion OF them !? For in
stance, you would not think of mar
rying a girl who should do one of
the dozen improper things that you
do yourself. You are too nice for
that But the girl who is purity
itself in thought and action is rude
ly commanded not to trouble her
self about the dozen things that you
do. Is it not plainly an outrage to
compel sensitive person TO endure
those things that you would not at
all put up with yourself? Love, the
bond and blessing of welded life,
that endGres faithfully all unavoid
able ills, cannot endure this. Men
err greatly 10 acting as if they be-
lieved that women would love them
the same, do as they might. Many
things are excused in you, becsuse,
as it is expressed, you have to bat
tie with the world Women not
unfrequentlv have to join in this bat
tie; yet you would not count that as
an excuse for their departure from
the right. IL is plainly but very
selfish and shallow excuse, that does
not entitle you TO the exemption you
claim. But is it not worth some
thing TO you to be able thoroughly
to respect Yourself, and to feel
worthy any woman's confidence As
| have already said, there is nothing
30 glorious In the es'imaiion of tru-
~ good women IS g truly good and
noble man. We Ike To lavish love
and admiration on snch we are will
ling to endure everything with them
or for them. The mutual virtues Of
men aud women only can make mar
riage safe and happy. Every sort of
vice tends to he disruption Of The
domestic circle. Why then should
not you hold yourselves as strictly
responsible az we?
| believe that on this rock the do
mostic peace Of this age is being
wrecked. Al the same time that
men have become ore adventurous
and less true, women have become
more intelligent and observing, and
less willing to accept as law and gos-
pei too, the opinions they formerly
blindly accepted. In shpr', women
now dare to crlticise men. as once
they never thought of dong. While
L admit hat feeling Of criticism is
antagonistic to good feedrg in any
circle, am compelled to say that you
have forced US into this rosition !;
and | see no way of getting back To
condition of cordial good feeling
but for you to practice yourselves
what you preach as good for us to
practice. Only on such proof as this
can we cheerfully accept your ceun-
sci as of value. | am not so chimer
ical az to expect al mon or all wo.
men to live pure lives or useful.
There is everywhere 10 the world q
large amount Of waste wasted
strength, talent, feeling, as well as
life and effort Nature seems to de-
mand this surplnsage. But where
there is the least of it there is the
most happiness; but | for one, and
you for another, do not wish to go in
to the waste basket, or amongst the
garbage. We h0li ourselves above
the possibility of being thrown aside
by society as useless or contemp-
tibIe. Suppose | should simply say
that L think il young mans duty
TO himself to cultivate pure living
and a high sense Of honor? That
is just what every right minded,
thinking woman feels and has q
right to expect Of the men she asso-
ciates with.
Ii You have made such a begins
ming as | have indicated, your am BIZ
ton, whether it be fine house, pub
lie honors,or scientific achievements,
is in fair way TO be realized and
your reputation is secured thing.
1t is quite unnecessary to point out
the road more plainly to success in
any undertaking, than in the incul
cation of an honorable pride in the
matters of honest money getting,
and happy domestic relations. And
1t is so important thing TO COM
meace life rightly, and | trust you
will not think | have dwelt too long,
or too earnestly upon shese themes.
Certainly | have not meant to be
pedantie, though | confess with
many misgivings that ! cannot help,
knowing you have with one acc ord
voted my well meant lecture super
tiu7us. A PORTLAND LADY,