Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-05-28

The men who live all w"ys are sup
posed to be tra~PS.
1.-The only way to look at lady's
faults" exclaimed gallant, sis to shut
your eyes"
The girl who succeeds in winning the
true love of true man makes a lucky
hit, and is herself lucky miss.
When moth flies into lamp fame
and is consumed, may not the fire be
attributed to defective few?
An Irishman, ridiculed for starting
off on horseback with only one spur,
replied, very justly, 'If ] get one side
of the horse moving I'll trust the other
side"
Bayard Taylor says: alt is wither-
ing commentary upon our modern Co.'S
tune that no sculptor has dared, or ever
will dare, to model statue wearing a
stove-pipe hat"
People who contend that the country
must return to the simplicity of our
forefathers, had better lead the way by
eating jOhnny-cake and wearing hind
patches on their pants.
A Philadelphia judge decides that a
railroad company is not responsible for
baggage further than to check it, pound
1t to pieces, and preserve an ordinary
watch over the trunk handles.
"You ought to acquire the faculty of
being at home in the best society,"" said
a fashionable aunt to an honest nephew.
81 manage that easily enough" rejoined
the nephew, "by staying at home with
my wife and children"
A father. in consoling his daughter
who had lost her husband, said: al don't
wonder you grieve for him, my child
you will never find his equal" IL don't
know as can," responded the sobbing
widow, "but I'll do my best !'' The
father felt comforted.
A young woman from the rural dis.
tricts entered dry-goods store the other
day, and asked for pair of stockings.
The clerk politely asked her what num-
Der she wore. "Why, two, you fool.
Do you think | am centiped, or that
have wooden leg p
A Kansas farmer purchased a revolver
for his wife, and insisted on target prac-
tice, so that she could defend her house
in case of his absence. After the bull
let had been dug out os his leg. and the
COW buried, he said he guessed that she d
better shoot with an axe.
Several years ago quaint father in
the church arose in prayer-meeting. and
deplored his remissness in duty. and
ended his remarks by saying he felt
"like getting behind the door," Instant.
ly sprightly, well-meaning old lady
jumped up and said, Il feel as though
| ght to be there too I''
Any one would suppose that the EN-.
ployment of sewing was the most peace.
ful and quiet occupation in the world
and yet it is absolutely horrifying to
hear ladies talk of stillettoes, bodkins,
gatherings surgings, hemmings, gorg.
ings, cuttings, whippings. lacings, cuf
fDgs, and hastings. What list Of
abominables
A correspondent writing from Jersey
camp meeting. tells the following: Many
people sleep in the same tent here, being
separated by partition A young Meth.
odist fellow from Camden had become
quite interested in pretty daughter o.
a religious farmer One night while 9
dozen cold-hearted fellows were trying
to sleep. they heard him say in low
sweet voice: ''Now, Caroline, dear, LEI
me seal the vow. do" "No, James,
cannot. What would my father and
mother say ?" replied the sweet, girlisE
voice. "But, Caroline, you have prom
ised to be mine, now let us seal the vow
do let US. won't you? Do kiss me.
"No, James, ] cannot, oh, l cannot" Ii
moment the tent partition parted. ant
a big-whiskered brother, who wanted t
sleep. shouted: "For mercy's sake
Carrie, let Jim seal the VOW. He'll keel
US awake all night if you don't" Tn
VOW was sealed.