The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-10-18
Mr. Parker Trifes with Powder.

WHaC ulSCOycIy: SalU MI. uI-
ker, as he read, glowing with excite
ment, and emphasizing his remark
with a resounding slap on the bald spot
on top of his head. where ono Of the
pests whose destruction he was medi-
tating had established himself in bust
ness.
"Great guns!'' continued he, "what
noble idea. So simple. SO inexpen-
sive, SO easily applied. No complicated
apparatus needed; only shovel. Who
is there that hasn't q shovel and .
pound or two of powder? Where is
there grocer's shop at which one can
not get powder? And only to think
that this philanthropic invention should
have been struck out, in q moment of
inspiration, by womanl Oh, woman y
said Mfr. Fafkcr,f ecstatically, "in our
hour of ease, uncertain, coy, and hard
tosplpasS, NJ When mosquitoes nip the
brow, fierce, destroying angel thou!''
At the conclusion of this apostrophe to
woman, Mr.. Parker, seizing his shovel
A hiG H9hs hand pointed IL toward
heaven, and assuming the attitude of
Liberty Enlightening the World, shout
ed "Tableau! in q loud voice. Then
he went out and bought two pounds of
powder.
When Mr.. Parker returned to his
room he made elaborate preparations.
He closed the windows carefully, and,
to secure the best results, stuffed cotton
in all the cracks; then he shut all the
doors and locked them. After he had
finished these arrangements he glanced
AbOdt the room.
Two fat mosquitoes sat leering at
him from the top of the bookcase. All
was calm without; through the closed
windows came the muffled hum of the
city's myriad activities. The wall of q
peripatetic glazier could be family
hEArd, ana klapSthefic ..gl2s i1dlin, .
sounded like prophecy. The sun
shone brightly, the birds sang sweetly,
the waters Of the bay danced to the
fluting of the breeze. Within all was
silence and expectation. - Aha!'' said
Mr.. Parker, pouring the, powder into
the shovel and perhaps fancying him.
self a modern Guy Fawkes-.' death,
odds bodkins, caitiffs. thine hour has
come" Che was addressing the mos
quitoes), ''thy shrift shah be a short one.
Marry, come up, by my halidomr' By
this time the shovel was full of pow
der, and dropping his character of con-
spirator Mr.. Parker rubbed his hands
cheeffu1y bgetherand began to hunt
for o match. At last he found one; he
scratched it upon the wall, but, before
he applied it he thought of passage
from Orpheus. AUST She thing"
said he, s'for q funeral Grafton. I'll
giveit to'em." Then, keeping one eye
on the fat mosquito and the other on
the match, he said:h /" Ihave placed my
hand in the hamper. have tasted the
sacred barley. 1havc beaten the drum.
I have said skOnox ompax and it is fini-
she'd" Mr.. Parker touched the match
to the powder -!!!!!! twas finished.
AS the policeman conducted Mr.. Par
ker through the streets half an hour aft
er the explosion the boys thought the tat
tooed man had been arrested for getting
micaI adminGtiati5n Sf p0was Changed
tl1s .pliiant6ropic couptepl - Of Mr.
"a fWSl;1 hs ;ss I; you Ef ginst
the chafge Of Etse1a1 - the
-eNvgs asked t2e -! ~ ~ the
station-housas,S sss 81
said s !. Nh : asksrs VI amer,
1 eide mosdhitoes. -
rs ..What can the. nh &H Take
hims to the: deepest zknsgeon.a1eath' -
:. Fl " Plesaes Sergeant 4 knbws
this dI gent l. 6H s9e9t ggpA an
went q, SIR '',s The apeakathad box
full of glass Ms t5scks 10 Vas thefman
whose I: glass ''puddins' !" had sounded
like prOphegy.sit .szs sSs 8 sseu-e.s3
= !. :. SaYedg'' slid Mr., Parker. ass
: The peripatstic glaaier had! = job
which took him three ,dagssts trash. :
NJ. World. ss.sgsss ~
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