St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1877-10-12
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Inc Oest thing to tall over now is a
fall overcoat.
DR.. Playfair was swindled out of
$500 at Niagara, and claims it wasn't
fair play.
A firm of street contractors in Bur
lington, Ia, bear the forbidding name
of Swindler & Co.
Whenever you feel that the land is
suffering for rain, either get up a fami-
ly picnic or go and camp out.
Lieut.. Pepper of the English Army
has been insulting lady at Singapore.
Pepper should be mustered out of the
service for this 'sault.
One who has had opportunity for OBJ
servation says there is always a storm
when the son crosses the line, especial
ly ifit takes him under the chin.
One of the annoyances of gathering
autumn leaves in Missouri is the fact
that all the best trees are in daily use
to cure men of the habit of horse steal
ing.-EG.
''Time fiies," suggested she. eyes,"
he answered sadly, taking dark OBJ
Ject out of the cream, slime flies were
gone"
Belfast boasts of % Iawyers.-Leuis-
ton Gazette. Not exactly. 1t has %,
but don't boast of them.-Belfast Jour
nal.
Before vacatiOn-Schooma to
grinning pupil: "You rascal! what
makes you grin so ~ "Sir, the thought
that comes over me that we must soon
part"
One day last week, down in Missouri,
while woman was Juggling water from
the brook to wash her husbands clothes,
the husband was struck by lightning
while playing croquet with neighbours
hired girl. Heavens vengeance, though
long delayed sometimes, is awfully ceI-
tain.
We have no report this morning of
the failure of a savings bank in Chica-
go. Evidently the telegraph lines run
ming into that city have beon prostrat-
ed by storm.-Norr. Herald.
Thus do the innocent oftentimes suf-
fer with the guilty. Two repulsive
looking organ grinders from sunny Italy
were sent to Jail in Albany the other
day, and the poor monkeys, alas! had
to go too.-N. 7. Com. AdU.
Josh Billings is about right when he
says: emmy man who kan swOp hors-
es, or ketch fish, and not lie about it.
IL just about as plus as men ever get to
be in this world"
A well known business man in west
ern Massachusetts town, not famous for
his legible chirOgrophy, recently wrote
an advertisement to the local paper.
The editor viewed it from every point,
and at last asked what it was. "Why,
96 rods of picket-fence, of course,n re-
piled the advertiser. "Well, I'll be
hanged if it don't look more like that
than anything else," exclaimed the irate
printer, and the business man went off,
sad and puzzled because everybody
persisted in not being able to read his
writing.
A Kind-Hearted She Elephant, while
walking through the Jungle where the
Spicy Breezes blow soft DER Ceylon's
Isle, heedlessly set foot upon a Par
fridge, which she crushed to Death
within few inches of the Nest contain
ing its Callow Brood. ''Poor things p'
said the generous Mammoth, 81 have
been Mother myself, and my Affection
shall atone for the Fatal consequences
of my neglect" So saying, She sat
down upon the Orphaned Birds. Moral.
The Above Teaches us What Home
is Without Mother; also, that it is
not Every Person who should be In
trusted with the Care of an Orphan
Asylum.-N. Z. World.
"Why, my sweet Arabella, you have
papered this room since was here in
the spring-beautiful design Does it
represent sea-weed or some pretty little
brown blossom 2" "No, Mrs. Spriggins,
haven't papered it. These fggers wich
you see, is where mashed moskeeters
on the wall !"-New York Graphic.
Dana, coming into the Sun Office: "I
see that Wade Hampton, unmindful of
his obligations to me salutes De Facto
Hayes as our Constitutional President
Mashallah! l speak He is thereby
read out of the party" Office boy
'But yer Highness Ben Hill saws the
same thingn Dana: "The traitor OFF
with his head Put it in the baag .,
Office boy: "But, Celestial Brother of
the Sun and Moon, Mcclellan and all
the democrats in the United States ex-
cept You say the same thing" Dana:
$50 much the worse for theml Read
'em out of the party OFF with their
head Poot it de baagw
Gen. Howard got near enough to Jo-
seph the other day to shake a tract at
him, but that agile warrior Immediate
ly shook about 500 tracks in the face of