The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1877-07-29
MARK TWINS LATEST JOKE.
How lie Organized - Wedding In the House
and Persuaded the Houng Man.

From he Boston Heajd.
HARTFORD, July 21.-A good story about
Mark Twain is Just beginning to leak out here.
Some timo ago he went on visit To Elmira.
NY, leaving his quaint house among the trees
on Farmngton avenue IN charge OF MS scr
ished in tho Hartford daily papers chronclng
an Intellectual attempt TO rob the humorist's resi-
drncc. The story was that man presented
himself ut the door one day, saying that he
had been sent by the gas company to in
spcct tho meter and pipes. Tho servant. who
stranger to enter and do as he pleased. When
he supposed no one was watching his move
ments he hid himself away IN, n dark corner.
tot which there arc many in the odd cha et,
and waited for darkness. But the. girl. who had
watched his movements. went and procured as,
and had When n Mr. heard
the story in Elmira, he thought he smelled u
very large rat. and hastencd to Hartford with
the purpose OF fcrreting IT out. His theory WAS
that ono Of the servant girls must have had Q
beau. who WIS admitted to- the house Mt unusual
hours. and that being caught in the, act. this
WIS adopted. With all tho sngacity OF an OK
journalist he followed his clue. but could not
establish the theory he had formed
But while pursuing his investigation he
learned that one of the girls. who mad been n
member of his family II long time. was really
guilty Of having male admrcr. who OCCASION
ally shared the hospitality 81 the house. un-
known 10 the proprietor. She was buXQm
English girl, with handsome form and "a
bright. cheerful face. Faithful in the perform
antc OF her Duties, and always solicitons for the
best interests of the family she had made her
seli almost 'nsainans IT, inr hons'h0ii, me
held her no doubt Influenced his course. lIe
WAS sorry 10 part with the girl who had served
him well. hut. seeing no othrr alternative, quick
~ maturcd flan that should let hcr down
e,L w. After long hunt he succeeded in dis
- ring the young fellow name. When that
viii gained MIR. Clemens went down town and
rrutt frd a marriage Virt ilcatr. K'turnlng he
stopped az the rtsid n" Of the Rev Mr.. Twit-
chcll. pastor OF the Asylum Street Church, and
4 ID "a d 4 Arrived
FIRST thing done WI. to nd for the young man.
WHO soon appeared, somewhat frightened at the
summons. From his dr' 80 and general appear
unrc of decay IL WAS evident that his crcum-
81 .nces were not those NJ violent prosperity.
When h. was brought in Mark brarcd up and
tried To look di.niilcd. This was about the dia-
lOsuc that cnsucd:
Mark-So. young man. YOU have boon in the
habit 81 making hotel OF my housewife all
the modern improvements. lSilcnce unhrokeD
10y the young mani. We'll. as you don't offer any
objections we'll take that part of the matter for
granted. II your offence had stopped NJ that
point II would have been all right. nm always
glad To- cnt 'riain company-ycs, If you had mem
toned i | would have had the house rcfur,
have done gladly for u guest. But when you
dignity and pnthosl-whcn you ALLEVIATE the af-
lotions " Maria Jane, when you descend upon
this peaceful fold with base designs ikr "a
wolf in shecps clothins. as 1t woro-that can
\. ~ with humility II you please. sir. I
Mark Examining tho fabric ~ tho young
mans coatl-Ah. perceive my error: It is cot
ton not wool. However. | was speaking meta
rnorically. A. intimatei before. | cannot en-
dure tho thought OF having my home. which,
until your fell presence. had been the abode Of
innocence. turned into kennel Of wrong doing.
When You sought that end you not only wound
cd me mortglly. hut you aroused my wrath and.
young man, when I'm mad. I'm a bad crowd.
Ia the first thro's Of my passion. was doubtful
whether 10 have you arrested for murder in the
nrst degree, Or
Atthi- pointthe young man showed symptoms
OF terror. But continued Mark. " II sud-
Vania Juige-Joc Bradley. boli"ve-once ruled
that IN cas- If arson, the fellow must marry the
glrl; AMI SO con -luic that You must answer To
the me Of nrson; IN other words you must
gct hthol tp Mara Jane
Appar' nifty. Marks yi'tim was relieved, but
h" was stil doubtful. He said; II YOU please.
SIR. III h' glad tp marry Maria. hut | couldn't
support nor. ! amt got no money. and | can I
grt no work. ! mean To- marry her some time.
SIR; hon, 4 and tru, DO"
Mark-Thnt's ait =, her too thin. young man.
You marry Maria sht here and now. or up you
- Tor arson.
~ M-wcil. sir. II 1t comes to that OF course
III marry her.
VI rk-'rlai's tho kind OF talk Ike. Here
Tw.t,h"lll Maria janet Come herel
And the two people named. followed by tho
other servant. entered tho room tho marriage
ceremony was performed. and Mark and the
second girl signed the certificate IA witnesses.
After that Mark uaid the minister. gave the
couple $500 In rnsh. and sci them adrift with an
injunction which. hy Nhe way. he ,scrlbcd 10
HUylc-tO ~ and ALL no more"