Lexington weekly intelligencer., 1877-02-24
DRUMMING FOR SEWING MACHINES
DEDICATED To HoNSEL AND LEE.AGESrs.

OF your little iu-! !Suticanl rusty-coats, or
crab apples. but great luscious pine |
apple, prichers and all We have only /
been married about ten wears. and !
know tha, there are tathoins and tathomS !
of character in her. that no man could
begin to get to the bottom OF in that
brlef space: but from what | have seen.
| can SAY chcrriully that shes all my
fancy painted her" and more, too. II
there is any virtue in winch she eAre!..
think that virtue - affection She
will .iVc more ot that commodity tor
ward or two of sash ribbon, Ur 4 new
spring bonnet. and pay in advance. too.
than any woman th. side OF the Oneida
Community, including her mother. who
whcedlei the old man out of all sorts ut
triulcts until he went stark mad. aud
hadn't enough lett To pay his board IN
lunatiC asvium | have got 50 used 10
measuring the amount of her affection
by the amount OF tile donation that she
i going 10 demand. OF rice reIHH. that
can tell pretty nearly what She Is about
tn nsh for, as soon a. she gets her arms
round my neck and begins to squeeze.
When | came home one might last month.
therefore. and she flew out to the gate
and escorted me in, and kissed me on
the end Of INV nose in the dark hall. and
pressed me up into the corner unit! |
looked ike Il WhItcwasIed prism. and
mashed my hat down over my eyes, IN
a loving attempt TO stroke my haIr,
absolutely trembled. not ON account oil
my general health and clothes tor they
are used To- ii, but on account OF what !
hnew must be going 10 follow.
{ 'NDlomun,' said she. finally, restori' z
my ncrhlc, and Il portion at my wh
kers. which She had swallowed. 'tIh'
ma Sptrims has got new dot
back action Piil-boX and Digg's sewing
machine. And i is the loveiiest little
;hing that YOU ever SAW, with II par Of
drawers on one leg and little clothes
press ON the other, and Il treadlc; y
such a precious. darling love OF d little
trcadie on lis bottom, and It works 80
easy. and YOU don't have 10 start it and
il feeds itself, and sews-Oh goodness
such i splendid hemmer, aud baster, and
binder. and tucker, aud 4uiiter, aud 4
telIcr q, surh Il GeuHtifW fcHsF,
too.
About this time | got disentang led
enough to reach the room door, and sal
down inside. Somehow that remark
about the beautiful tel,cr, affected me
more than all the rest. am not neal
80 Young and iresh-I"ohm. now a'
va, when | was 4 bow, and It flashed
over me instantly That had better yield
at once AMI 70 directly - the comps
uy's office and order II machine whIct
would render It impossible for the beau
. ,itul iellcr whom supposed TO be tht
, agent. 10 have tluger III the PIE. 4:
soon rs She came in. therefore, and "a
down on NV knee, and commenced Il
strughten out my hat and clothes, an
20 on with the ription. | prepared
myself ~ well rs could for what
knew would follow. and then wilted.
have been caressei on the subject vi bu
rsaus, breastpns and baby carriages
and most all kinds OF birds, lncludn;
bantam chickens, but never did recelv
such AN avalanche rt aitectlUnate remem
brance rs when | told Mrs Imp that sh
should have that machine For the mex
half hour brrathed almost e1clusiveI
through the lace and illusion that cover
a ed nv wiEe'> bosom, being let up occa
e siuualiy to be kissed. and then pa. bnc
h to smother, until | wished Howe. An
% all the rest of them. had turned their al
tention to living g-maChneS, and Ihat
: WAS one of them that | was about I" OF
tain II WAS my Intention to ado To nj
,! arguiescvucr that had been thlnhln
of surprising her wiki a machine for
II week or two past, but il las been a sut
: iuct of clngratulaiiun to me ever sinr
and alwa,S will be. that did not !a
Il | known what unccasiny torment III
n darling companion and myself were
IA u
VI davs. | would have invented
81 fl>lug machine myself, rather than ST,
y and stand it.
>; We retired to bed early that night bI
d neither OF Us could sleep. My wife CouI
not. because ul the great JOY III pro>pc
II for the morrow, and could not beCau!
/ she persisted still in cAreSsIng me on a
Il count OF the liberal promise had ma,
her. At last she fell into Il llttul stumble
bat only to wakcn with a start. and /
n form me that She had dreamed that Il
Mt house WAS full OF sewing machines
g. the most beautiful types SO beautiful
* fact that she WAS at loss which OF
~ to select endcavored to impress upl
t. her the perfect iudicrousne>> OF such
dream, and had Just succeeded. d.when Il
jd io"r-hel rang with great violence.
~ went to the front window to reconnoit
ST and SAW man standing On the fro
stoop, with his hat in his hand. al
r. something black beside him, which
id took to hs 4 hand organ.
nj Nothing for YOU, said |, indignant
~ Beg vour pardon, sir; but can ! :
mt the lady OF the house,
| Informed him that he positively cou
IT,. not.
=" Could he have i few words with
~ gentleman?
X gave himto understand that the &c
in tlcuan was II the window, IN We
IS, airy surb, and listening.
X i am the agent OF the back -gear'
iure-aud-ntt sew!ng-machine, warrant
w not 10 rip, split. tear. give way or
nj rayei Hearing that You were about
purchase, called to leave machine
Il trial.
did not KNOW as much as | did At
ed end OF the ensuing twenty-tour hours,
or would not nave opened the door thou
All the fore -and-a back geared mach
the men in tho universe had been IN
clamuring. Under the Clrcnmstanc
having first satisfied m3 sci! that he
ANYTHING but Il beautiful TELLER, estee
ih- ed it quite lucky hit that he should 60
! h lust in the nick oi time.
us NV wife was OverlOvet when |
formed her that an agent had called
oil. lett a machine While she was iniol
Sc inc me of this in her most demonstrat
idN manner. the bell rang again-lt rang
= truth. At intervals All that night, and
re- morning we had five family sewing
'ss. chimes. two huttOu-h"le machines, an
lie machine tor stitching shues.ln tie up
I've hall and four more, ui various pattel
nag promised by agents whom had dec
"iu ed to admit, on the ground that
ely subject 10 rheumaticS. and did not W
to stand III the drausht, Al night. 81
ne" somewhat late in the morning, and
en- going down was informed by the >
60 want girl that haita dozen more machI
Inc had been served upon us tor trial. 81
daylight, and were standing IN the 10y
Nv" hall. ate my breakfast though,ln
bid wuod-ky to my wife. who was h'
P"- ling about from one machine tn snot!
lu'' in Il high state OF ecstasy, and star
VINO for business At the front gate m'
/ file of men on their way in
i'S Good morning, sir said they a!
breath.
lch- returned the compliment, taking
'c- my hat and bowin%. when they into
Ell me that their object was to see y
10" Imp. To which replied. that Mrs
rsS- was not in the habit of receiving Q