Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-07-19
A New Profession
From the Boston Telegraph.


1t was popular restaurant.
The seedy customer who had
lingerd for half an hour over dough-
nut revel, brushed the crumbs off his
AXIS napkin and approached the cash
Ter with an distracted air. As he
handed over his dime he remarked.
sinister, think you and ] could
do little business"
"How SOP" said the cashier.
"Why, / have noticed that the
folks who patronize this .hashery
seem to 60 in mostly for elam-chow-
der and beef-hash and doughnuts.
They ignore the more recherche Gle
ments of the menu, such as quail on
toast and vension steak. You'd
realize the more profit if the public
partook more extensively of the lux
uries of the season so to speak,
wouldn't your"
81 reckon replied the check taker.
"Have you ever noticed," contin-
ued the seedy customer, "that man
is an cumulative being. He is guided
and governed by public rather than
his own ideas p
The cashier NODDED.
"Exactly. Now do you see at what
Pm driving. Public opinion, in
fiuenced by hard times, says dough-
nuts and -chowder. You want
to educate public opinion up to the
more elevated standpoint of quail on
toast and venison steak"
"How are you going to do it %
"That's just what Pm coming to.
That's where my inventive genius
comes in. You and / put a job up
on 'em. Every day about this time
| come here for dinner. | look over
the programme and yell out, "Here,
waiter, turtle soup, fried oysters,
pate de sois graS, and pint of Rcd
erer-and the waiter he sings out the
order SO that the whole room full can
hear. The folks that just come in say
to themselves, Hello, this is kind
of stylish place. 1t won't do to eat
baked beans and Goldfish balls here,
and then they follow my example
more especially if the waiter does
his part well, and can infuse tone
of sarcasm into his voice when pass
ing along the order for clam-chowdel
and hash, SOS to make the cheep feed.
ers feel their insignifcance. Things
would soon work around if some en-
terprising man would act the ex'
ample"
''Well," said the cashier, "you Of
anybody else can order just what yor
like, provided you pay for it."
"I'm afraid you hardly appreciate
the Importance of my idea. In order
to inaugurate the system it would bt
necessary to disregard the immediate
pecuniary outlay. Now my PROPOSE
ton is that l should officiate as Epi
curean exemplar. | will soon arouse
the spirit of emulation by my APP
parent reckless extravaganza. | will
by reveling IN the delicacies which
would appeas the appetite of Lucullus
stimulate others to like lavish in
diligence. / should assist the process:
by casting around me glances o.
scornful depreciations at those grovel
ing souls who persist in partaking the
humble fare. Here now, for instance
I assume an air of lofty dismay. Dc
you think you could sit calmly and
eat clam soup while | was looking a
you-so-and deyouring boned tur
key?"
"No, should probably get up ant
kick you," was the answer.
"Ah, but most men would take i
differently. They would say, i guess
/ can afford boned turkey as well al
that fellow and they would order al
the luxeries they could think of. i
would catch 'em, tell you. Now tC
come right down to business; | aim
ambitious. / don't ask any salary
All | want is to order what | like
free gratis and I'll set right to worl
and we'll bring about the bigges
revolution in public opinion you evel
saw. What do you say? Is it bar
gain ?"
"I can't see as it would exactly
pay me, said the restaurant man. s.
guess things have got to work rount
gradually"
"You don't seem to have mucl
enterprise" sadly observed the Epicu
rean exemplar. "What kind Of a one
horse beanery is this, anyhow Yol
may put down venison and quail OF
your lying programme, but hanged i
| believe you've got any in your olt
chewery mill. I'll offer my service