, 1877-05-11
WIT AND HUMOR.

DOESN'T man contract debt when
he pays part of it?
BLUE glass windows are said to stand
a family fight first rate Detroit Free
Press.
DEAF LADIES' now wear blue glass ear
rings. Then they are sure of their
earring.
A CUBAN has married a wife who can
speak eight languages. Won't she make
home vocal?
CHINESE babies never howl. One of
them can be left alone for twelve hours
and he never moves off his back.
HUSBANDS and fathers will be pleased
to learn that small checks " are to be
fashionable for silks next Summer.
"CHANGE carsl" is what a boatblack
said to a countryman the other day,
when he had finished one of his bro
gans.
IT is estimated that the number of Ia
dies who cannot pass mirror without
glancing into it averages about twelve to
every dozen.
AN exchange speaks of the minority
sickness" Reference is made probably
to the catarrh, as it is disease of the
noes.- Norwich Bulletin.
THE Norristown Herald has solved the
conundrum: "Why was Washington
like a newspaper man?" Answer " Be
cause he couldn't tell lie."
A YANKEE editor wishes no bodily
harm to his subscribers, but he hopes
that some of them in arrears will be
seized with remittent fever.
Mrs. John Henner, of Reading, Penn
sylvania, has Just become the mother OF
her forty-ffth child, and not a pane of
blue glass in the house, either.
A KENTUCKY widow had so much pity
on poor tramp that she married him
and gave him home. The routes to Ken
tucky are now almost blockaded.
AN Irish housemaid, boasting of her
industrious habits, said she rose at four,
made her fire, puton the kettle, prepared
the breakfast, and made all The beds before
any one raS up in the house.
Coop compositors can setup column
in day easily enough, now days. But
it was not so in old times. It took the
Emperor Traian we don't know how long
to set up his column Boston Adver.
A YOUNG lady sent poem to Brit
ish newspaper entitled, ''I cannot make
him smile" The editor ventured to ex-
press an opinion that she would have
succeeded had she shown him the poem.
A FEDERAL street man had Just said to
friend, Lets take another" when
his wife turned the corner, but his duty
to his wife was not forgotten. "View Of
the political situation" he added
Camden Post.
THE Cincinnati Enquirer wants to know
"if the telephone is going to be of any
service when a man wants to telephony
story ?" OF course. Shouldn't wonder
if man could telegraphic anecdote in a
way to electrify his hearers Boston
Globe.
An exchange asks: "What is the dan
ger of the hour?" There are several.
The one newspaper men have most to fear
is the danger Of getting stuck with
one of those blamed counterfeit thousand
dollar notes now in circulation.-N Nor
ristown Herald.
The question arising in a Sunday
Schools as to why God created all the ami
mails of the field and sea and air before
man, no one gave solution to it until a
little boy said: &c know; it's because he
didn't want the man hanging around
while he was making EN-"
"MR. PRESIDENT, Idont care for much
of an Office: 1 have some spare time on
hand, and would like only little sine
cure, you know" Yes, there are a
good many of these sinners about now
looking for that kind of cure" Refer
red to the family physician.
HIGH CHURCH BELOW STAIRs.-Mis-
tress (astonished Wish to leave, Jane?
Why, you have been here only week
Whatever is the reasonP Maid-Fact is,
ma'am, I'm used to go to mathis at 8 A.
NJ, and that's the very hour when master
will have his breakfast = Judy.
A CLERGYMAN out west" married
couple the other day, received his fee,
and sent them away, apparently satisfied;
but q short time afterwards the BRIDE
groom returned and said he had cometo
pay more, as the woman had turned out
much better than he had expected.
BEFORE we were married." said he
to friend, "she used to say by-by' so
sweetly when 1 went down the steps"
"And now what does she say?" asked
the friend. "Ohl Just the same," ex-
claimed the man-buy, buy" "Ah ! 1
see" said the other, she only exercises
little different spell over you"
A Sunday school teacher was giving
a lesson in Ruth. She wanted to bring
out the kindness of Boaz in command
ing the reapers to drop large handfuls