The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1877-05-17
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NJ / sCel Han he O u ~
How She April Fooled Him.

OOuu IoduSCTIpl WIG WcuJ 10 Deu
Saturday night with her mind made
up to fool the old man the next day
or die in the attempt. In previous
years she had found John impervious
to jokes OF all kinds, aud she realiz-
ed the Augean task before her on
the morrow, With her mind full of
her self-imposed task she went to
sleep. At d,ylight sho awoke and
at once began to operate. Her vic
tim was lying with his back toward
her, apparently in sound sleep
She poked him vigorously v in the ribs
with her sharp elbow and clawed his
shins with her sharp toe nails, pre-
paratory to startling him with a
half.whispered warning.
"John-oh, John there's some
one ringing the door.bell :"
Lem i'm ring" was tho sleepy
response.
'But, John, maybe its the man on
the next square, who owes You thlt
500, come to pay you.'
"No taint, neitlor,' said John,
with yawn.
"But you don't know, AMI il may
be that very man "
II guess not, for he buried; died
last week, Besides, oil woman,
your ears deceive you. / took the
bell knob of last night to fool Apri!
foolers."
Heavens, what mess she made OF
it to begin with But when the old
man rolled out Of bed, yawned. aud
picked up his pants, she rammed tn,
sheet in her mouth to plug up her
laughter
"Oh, jimmy, won't he tumble when
he puts his foot in them pants and
finds the legs sewed up she said tc
herself.
Judge of her rage when tho pros
voking brute innocently carried the
hockaded brooches to the wardrobe
and inquired:
"Nancy, where's them chocolate
colored pants / had on last week I"
"Put on the ones you have in your
bands, John what's the matter
with them y
II burst a button of yesterday
and they need mending in the seat.
At breakfast she poured out nice
cup OF coffee for him, and sweetened
it with two spoonsful of salt.
"You needn't give me any coffee, "
he said I; ''keep that yourself"
"Why. John, what's the matter
This is the first time since we were
married you refused coffee"
"The blamed stuff has made me
nervous, lately aud AS this is the
first of the month, | thought Id
break off and only drink it for sup,
per. You keep that yourself
When he came home to dinner she
had prepared him q neatly directed
envelope with sheet of blank paper
inclosed within. He eyed it suspi-
ciously, and throwing it into the fire
said (:
~ know that handwriting its
from that crazy lunatic who wants
mo to vote for him tomorrow. Sc
much for his letter.
In the evening she disguised her.
self in one OF her husbands old suits,
and came to the door to beg fol
charity.
"Please give me nickel to buy
some bread 7"
"Get out, or I'll give you nicke
with my boot"
"But, sir, consider I'm starving. u
"The devil you are Now, III
bet you $50 against the suit o
clothes you wear that you are an i'm
poster.'
"But, sir
"If I were to search you now
shouldn't be surprised TO find yor
lousy with wealth. For two cents
would see."
"For heavens sake
SNOW, none of your soit-soap OF
me. I don't believe in beggars
Here. you policeman, take this in
fernal imposter to the station
house"
just % the "peeler" grabbed th,
supposed beggsr by the back OF tn,
neck, shrill voice yelled: d. ~.
80 John John you wouldn't sent