davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-07-11
Managing n Saleswoman.

The subject was the employment
Of women as statesmen. or sales
ladies' as the latest euphemism has
it.
Mrs. S. said she always hated to
buy anything of a woman"
"That is because n woman does
not know how to use another" said
Spicer; linen have no difficulty in
dealing with s~hopwomen femme
show you," and as they entered the
toy store be blandly approached an
appIe-faeed girl, with haxen hair,
done up in small pats over her FORE
head, and slightly raising his hat,
asked to lie shown some toys suitable
for q child of three.
Apple face turned a cheap locket
hanging a. her neck, right side out,
smiled, and said, Eyes, sir"
Spicer turned his eyes around in
triumph, but his ears unfortunately
heard the shop belle say, sotto-voice ;
Jennie, show this old bald beaded
noodle some cheap stuff, will you p
There's Jim Spooner jess come in.
and ! want to see him"
Mrs. Spioer cbuekled. and Spicer
thought that they had better walk on
and see what there was at the further
end Of the store.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-07-11

A case is related of al English
clergy man who used to get up in the
night light his candle, write sermons,
correct them with interlincations,
and retire to bed again: being all
the time asleep. The Archbishop Of
Bordeaux mentions . similar case OF
. student, who got up to compose q
sermon while asleep wrote it correct
lly, read it over from one end to the
other, or at least appeared to read it,
made corrections in it, scratched ont
lines and substituted others, put in
its place q word which had beea
omitted, composed music, wrote it
accurately down. and performed
other things equally surprising. DR..
Gall notices a miller. who was in the
habit of getting up every night, and
attending to bis avocations at the
mill, then returning TO bed; on
awakening in the morning be recol-
lected nothing If what passed during
the night. Martinez speaks of a sad
dler who was accustomed to rise in
his sleep and work at his trade and
DIR. Prichard of a farmer who got out
of bed, dressed himself, saddled his
horse, and rode to market, being all
the while asleep. DR.. Blackjack, on
n occasion, rose from bed, to which
he had retired at an early hour, came
into the room where the family were
assembled, conversed with them. and
afterwards entertained them with a
pleasant song, without any of them
~suspecting he was asleep, and with
out his retaining after be awoke, the
least recollection OF what be had
done. 1t is a singular, yet well au-
thenticated fact, that in the disastrous
retreat of Sir Johh Moore, many Of
the soldiers fell asleep, yet continued
to march along with their comrades.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-07-11

About ten years ago two brothers
left their home in Illinois and went
to California. The elder was q man
of the most steady habits, and had
received a good business education,
but the younger was inclined to be
dissipated, and, indeed, had figured
in so many scrapes at home that his
departure was not regretted in his
native village. The two brothers
lived for q while in San Francisco
while they looked for situations. The
youger brother, however, fell into bad
company. and they separated by mu-
tual consent. The elder brother oh.
tanned a situation in a wholesale
store as a porter, and by his diligence
and steadiness so worked himself
into the confidence of his employers
that he rose from the position of por-
ter to that of partner in the firm. He
lately purchased a house in Bush
street, married a lady with q censid-
cradle fortune of her own. and on
last Christmas Eve he saw three
beautiful children around him enjoy
ing the delights of a Christmas tree.
The family retired at midnight, but
the gentleman had hardly closed his
eyes when be was awakened by a
noise down stairs, and moving stealth
ily to the parlor with a revolver in
bis hand, be saw q man endeavoring to
open the buffet where be kept his sill
yer. Leveling the revolver at the
tbiefs head he exclaimed. "Stop, or
you're a dead man 7" The jimmy
dropped from the hands of the bur-
elar, who falling on his knees, cried
out, "As God is my judge, Robert, /
did not know that you lived here!"
The gentleman discovered to his hor-
ror that the burglar whom he was
about to shoot was the younger
brother whom he had not met for
ten years. That night the bur-
glur slept peacefully under the roof of
his forgiving brother, who assured q
with tears in his eyes, that he
was about to give him employment
in his W store, and that be had
never spent a happier Christmas
Call
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-07-11
Kinks orthe Law.

l ind 10 my budget of scraps an
extract from a speech delivered,
some twenty years ago, in the Wis
consin Legislature, by Hon. Mr.. Ell
more. One of my Office boys, who
had been engaged as a legislative re-
porter at the time, gave it to me, and
assured me it was correct. The sub
ject under discussion was o bill on
the abolition of certain laws for the
collection of debts.
Mr.. Gilmore said be had had a lit
tie experience in the law, some Of
which had been decidedly rich. He
would give n instance. About Is
years before. he had purchased q
yoke of oxen, and paid fifty dollars
for them. A few days thereafter q
son of the man Of whom he had pur.
chased came to him and claimed
that the oxen were his, and insisted
Oh having pay over again, which be-
ing refused, he brought suit in court.
The jury didn't agree; but at length,
through blunders of the Brushwood
justice of the peace, the case went
against him.
81 appealed to the circuit court of
Milwaukee" said he, land there l
lost again" Said | to nv lawyer :
81 will give you ten dollars to quote
Pennsylvania law to Judge Miller.
making him think it's Wisconsin law,
and have a new trial ordered" He
took the fee, and performed the duty.
A new trial was granted, and renus
changed to Walworth county. Judge
Irwin was on the bench. Any man
who would gain a case in his cou TT
must either 60 hunting with him, and
let him claim all the game shot, or
pet his dog. Well, ! petted the dog.
| fed him with crackers. The case
was decided in my favor. When l
heard the decision, | concluded that
dog had hung around me about long
enough, aud rs he happened at the
moment to be smiling at my pockets,
| gave him a kick. The dog yelped
Justify, and when his yelping had
subsidized l heard the Judge say:
"Mr. Clark, this judgement is set
aside, and q new trial granted"
Mr.. Speaker, and fellow sufferers
in the kinks of law, the kick cost me
two hundred dollars in
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-07-11

The Detroit Free Press tells this
story When q grocer's boy ycster'
day delivered a basket full of pack
ages to q lady on Columbia street bel
quick eye detected the fact that she
had received only eleven oranges in
place Of q dozen.
young man you ate that other
orange as you came alorg?p she ex'
claimed, as she recounted the mum.
br.
"Never-never!" he earnestly re.
piled.
Well, where is it then ~
perhaps they counted them wrong
ma'am."
"Well, III go right back with you
and see.n
Il didn't eat that orange" be be.
gan, after a little reflection, "bat I'll
tell you how it was. Down here a.
bout two blocks | saw an old chap
out in his garden. with bis hat hang
ing on a plum tree as be sawed a
limb. He was the bald headedest
mar | ever saw, ma'am."
"Well what las that got TO do with
the orange 7" she asked.
Lots. ma'am. heaps. If you was
a boy and saw such q head, and you
knew you could hit it and get away
all right, wouldn't you put an orange
agin it?"
at "a very wicked" she softly
answered.
well, ! dunno but twas; but if
you'd seer that old gent catch bis legs
and make a jump, and if you'd heard
him veil out as he came down ard
grabbed for his hat. why ma'am,
lend me another orange to pop
at some n as | go back ?"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-07-11
w~eiIington's strategy.

On a certain occasion during Well
iug,on's campaign in the Pyrenees,
that great captain being displeased
with the dispositions General Picton
tad made for receiving the assault oil
Marshal Soult. who had menaced
him 10 front, ordered the plan to be
entirely changed. But the difficulty
YVES to delay the attack of the French
until the change could be effected.
Thisl b. Iron Duke ACCOMPLISH led n
person in the following manner: Dof-
ling bis cooked hat ard waving it in
the air, he rode furiously to the head
of d regiment, as if to order a charge.
Thereupon rose a tremendous cheer
from the men, which was taken up
corps after corps until it reverber-
ated along the whole extent of Pic
tons line.
As the roar died away Wellington
was heard to remark, musingly, as if
addressing himself, "Soult is a skillful
but cautious commander, and will
not attack 10 force until he has as
certained the meaning of these
cheers. This will give time for the
sixth division to come up, and we
shall beat him 1t turned out as
anticipated. Soult naturally enough
supposed th,se tremendous shouts to
announce the arrival Of large rein
forcements, and did not attack until
TOO late. Had be struck at the
right moment, he would have won an
easy victory as it vas be met with
o bloody repulse. This was strategy.
Not the strategy Of books, but the
strategy, of genius, conceived and
executed in the same moment. The
idea was born of the occasion, and
carried out on The instant.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-07-11
GERMAN RAD

pccp within a rarrow valley. lies abuss iittlc
town,
while set az DOR Its coronci, each mountain bcars
. chapel crown.
Every tongue on earth that's spoken, in the Babel
mingled go,
Those whose charaeters are broken. these whose
iivesarc whiteas snow.
Some for pleasure, some for play, ever marching
10 and fro,-
Sick, and well, ana grave, and gay.-up ana down
the crowd doth flow.
Through the valley runs a river. bright and rocky.
cool and swim,
Where the wave with many a quiver. playground
the pinc-irec's dria-
But within the town the sireamlet forms a clear
and shallow pool
Each detail rejecting clearly, down amidst its
shadows cool.
Ant he men, and all the hoasts.-afi the hanging
nowerpots,
Booths and bonnets, boards and blsuses, and the
Baroness de Kotz.
And the grey cliffs overhanEIng, and the grim
solemn pines,
Whose forests with their mighty shadows, ciose US
in with dark green lines.
An,-exceptt the cross which towers, high aioit
into the sky,
Alone upon that mountain summit as its Master
here did die.
For the mirror was too narrow, and could not the
whole contain,
So It took the lower portion, left out what DER all
should reign.
And methought our living mirrors. in that busy
little town,
Gave back all that eager hustle, to and fro, and
up and down.
Faithfully VIC there reflected, althe chatter, an
the noise.
All the the talk on one anOther.-aTl the flowers,
all the toys.
Only we LEFT out the presence, and forgot the
thought Of Him
Whose calm and holy memory, in our hearts
should neer grow dim.
Like an old Italian picture-wherc the men and
women sit,
Unconscious Of the glorious vision, which above
their heads doth fit
SO the upper. better portion Of our picture heed
ing not,
Broken, selfish, narrow, trivial-life becomes In
that sweet spot.
Good Words.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-07-11
strategy BrusaiIy Murdered.

II don't cost you much, little hub
by, do l? asked she tenderly patting
his chin. PLEASE say | don't" con-
tinued she. winsomely laying her lit
tie cheek against his.
oval. aw-a-of course you don't
cost me anything, darling" replied
be, hesitatingly, and with visions Of
new silk dresses in bis eye, "bui-'
"But what ~ asked she.
20, nothing, nothing. was bis bur-
ried answer, only | was going to
say"
Say what" steruly demanded
the little woman.
why" said be confusedly, why
say-say that though you don't cost
me much to s-speak Of, y-your clothes
do so-mightily !"
She stopped patting the bru:e's
ehin.-Chicago L rening journal.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-07-11

A quite unnecessary tmpsst IL
raised over the silver dollar. The re
sumptionists are divided upon it, one
class siding with what they conceive
to be their immediate personal inter
est, the other following sound sense
and common fairness.
Practically the situation is this, and
the Issue simple. Gold and silver
were wont to be legal tender, one
quite as much as the other. A few
bright individuals at Washington in
1873 sneaked an Act through Con-
gress virtually declaring that silver
should no longer be a standard. Lit
tie attention was paid to the matter
at the time. No notice was given
the public of the Act until it went
through ; and even then the prospect
of resumption with any sort of coin
seemed 80 poor that there was no
commotioh.
But when the Act was passed
fixing 1879 as a date to resume, of
course the question arose whether
the outstanding obligations Of the
Government, its bonds and notes,
were to be paid in gold or in gold or
silver, at the option of tie Govern
ment. Now this was not difficult.
1t accords with the plainest princi-
pies Of equity that if silver existed as
a legal standard of value when these
bonds and notes were issued, any
subsequent change of law, should not
affect the contract. Why this was
the very point made in favor of pay
ing the bonds in specie instead of
Pendletoniaa greenbaeks, they ap-
pealed to the honor and honesty of
the people in 1868 and received their
endorsement, though it involved a
very considerable difference against
them. They came up manfully then,
and agreed to live fully according 10
the spirit of their contract with the
b~ondhoIders. Well, shall the people
not have justice done them now?
They assumed, through the Govern
ment, debts payable in silver or
gold, at their option. Must it be
said that because silver has depre-
they are to redeem in the
more costly metal? This is onesid-
ed with a vengeance.
OF cour g, on the other hand, no
fair person will argue that the bonds
issued since 1873, the new four per
cent, for instance, are payable in
silver. These, representing contracts
entered into when silver had been
stricken down by the Act Of rs. are
payable in gold: and it is this fact,
among others, which makes them go
off so readily, at the low rate of in
But all bonds or notes issued
prior to '73 are, unquestionably, pay
able in silver.
Congress did on asinine, unjust
thing in passing the Act of '73. 1t
should be repealed, for silver will
enable resumption with much less
embarrassment than must be other
wise experienced, and the remoneti-
cation of silver will also enhance its
value. 1t was, at best, a gross over
and error to allow the Act Of
'73 to be passed at all but whether
it is repealed or not, there is no
question that all bonds and notes is
sued prior to it are honestly payably
in silver or gold at the option of the
Government. 10 all that the East
ern press has published on this ques-
ton we have not seen a single ar
gument TO the contrary worthy OF
notice. President Hayes and Secre-
tary Sherman, we believe, are en-
10 this view, and it is palpa-
bly the right one.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-07-11

A little spring had lost its way
Amid the grass and fern
AIassing stranger scocpcd a well.
Where weary men might turn;
He walled II In, and hung with care
A ladle at the brink
He thought not Of the deed he did,
But judged that all might drink
He passed again, and 10 the well,
BY summer never dried,
Had coolded ten thousand parehing tongues
And saved n life beside.
Anamelees man, amid a crowd
That thronged the daily mart.
Let fall . word OF hope and love,
Unstudicd from the heart /;
A whisper on the tumult thrown,
Atransitory breath
II raised a brother from the dust,
1t saved 3 soul from DEATH
oh, germ /, Oh, fount /, Oh, word Of lore
Oh, thought at random cast
lie were but little at the first,
But mighty at the last ,
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-07-11

The drowned oyster has had bis
brief day at the church festival, and
now the next martyr, a solitary straw-
berry, warehoused between two enor-
nous slabs Of dough, goes travelling
around under the hollow, wicked
alias Of short cake, and spreads dispep-
STA in its pious tracks.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-07-11
JOHN F. BLYMYER,
DEALERiN
Hardware, Iron, Nails, Glass, Paints
OILS &C., sc.

The following is a partial LIST of goods in Stock: Carpenters aoo,s'
Planes, Saws, Hatchets, Hammers, Chiselss Plane Irons > izs &c. black.
smiths Goods Bellows. Anvls, Wees, Files, Hammers. dc Saddlery
Hardware, Tab Trees, Gig Saddles, lIames, Buckles Kings BITS ana Iools
Table Knives and Forks, Pocket Knives, Scissors, Spoons q hazors 10
largest stock in Somerset County. Painters Goods, . full stock white
Lead Colored Paints for inside and outside painting, Paints IN on Nj eoiors,
Vsrnish. Turpentine, F1axseed Oil, Brushes, Japan Dryer a STAINS
&c. Window Glass Of all sizes and glass cut to any shape. Inc oesa 1@a
Oil ALWAYS on hand Our stock OF Coal Oil Lamps : large ID comprise,
elegant STYLES. Dtston's Circular, Mu!ey and Cross Cut saws MIL
Saw Files of thebest quality Porcelainined Kettles Handles OF Ill Sndss
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-07-11
FORKS. SPADES, RAKEs

Mattocks Grub Hoes. Picks, Seythcs, Sneaths, Sledges, Mason Hammers,
Cast Steel Step Ladders. Carriage and Tire Bolts OF all sizes. Looking
Glasses, Wash Boards, Clothes Wringers, Meal Sleeves, Door Mats, Baskets,
Tubs. Wooden Buckets, Irvine, Rope all sizes, Hay Puleys, Butter Prints,
Mop Sticks, Traps, Steelyards, Meat Cutters and Suffers, Traces, Cow
Chains, Halter Chains. Shoe, Dust and Scrub Brushes, HorseB Brushes Cur
nv Combs and Cards, Door Locks, Hinges, Screws, Latches and everything
in the Builders line. Caps. Lead. Shot, Powder and Safety Fuse, &c, &c;
The fact is. keep everything that belongs to the Hardware trade. / deal
exclusively in this Kind Of goods and give my whole attention to It Per.
sons who are building, or any one in need of anything in my line, Will Ind
it to their advantage to give me a call | win always give a reasonable
credit to responsible persons l thank my old customers for their patronage,
and hope this season to make many new ones. Don't forget the place
No. 3, "BAER'S BLOCK
April 8 IA. JOHN I. bLiM1EH
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-07-11

A young Indian girl who had curl.
ously watched the process of making
barrel heads in . Touring mill in Vino
ma, MINI, stole in oQe day and,
taking possession Of the stencils, or.
namented her blanket with the words
"Elisworth's Choice" and paraded
up and down the streets in great
delight, bat to the intense disgust o,
Mr.. Ellsworth, who is . bachelor,
and has made no such choice.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-07-11

A grocer had q pound Of sugar re-
turned with . note saying: TOO
much sand for table use and not
enough for building purposes.n
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-07-11
Ayers


3 :. !. !. !. . !. !. !. !. !. !. ]. !. ]. !: !: . ] !. !. !. !. !: !. !. !.
a Is widely known
"a ~ as one of the most
effectual remedies
A M W ever discovered for
LINN M IH cleansing the sys-
~NAN TEN and purifying
the blood. ID has
SSI&X1yynZ<I stood the test of
~ZSA1k1~ wears, with a con-
- stantly growing rep
6o0o0 I~tation, based on its
intrinsic virtues, and sustained by its re-
markable cures. So mild as to be safe and
beneficial to children, and yet so searching
as to efiectually purge out the great cor
ruptions of the blood, such as the scrofnlous
and syphilitic contamination Impurities,
or diseases that have l,rked in the system
for years, soon yield to this powerful anti
dote, and disappear. Hence its wonderful
cures, many Of which are publicly known,
of Scrofula, and all scrotulous diseases,
Ulcers, EruptiOns, and eruptive dis
orders of the skin, TumOrs, BlOtches,
BOils, Pimples, Pustules, Sores, st.
AnthOny'S Fire. Rose or Erysipe-
las, letter, Salt Rheum, ScaId
Head, RingwOrm, and internal UI-
CtTitfoliS vi tut SttEu>, otOilittCn,
and Liver. 1t also cures other COM
plants, to which it would not seem especi.
ally adapted, such as DrOpsy, Dyspep-
STA, Fits, Neuralgia, Heart Disease,
Female Weakness, Debility, and
LeucOrrh9a, when they are manifesto
tons of the ~scrofnlous poisons.
1t is an excellent restorer of health and
strength in the Spring. BY renewing the
appetite and vigor of the digestive organs,
it d~issipates the depression and l%istless Ian
guor of the season. Even where no disorder
appears, people feel better. and live longer,
for cleansing the blood. The system moves
IN with renewed vigor and a new lease of
life.
PREPARED By
DR.. ]. c. AVER & CO., Lowell, Mass,
Practical and A~nafyficdl Chemists.
SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS EVERYWHERE
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-07-11

Fools and their money soon part.
It's worth while being a fool to have
the money to part with.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-07-11

A parrot is said to live to be two
hundred years old. A barber does
not live 80 long but talks more.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-07-11
RURAL TOPICS.

Written fr the HERAID by a farmer, gardener
and fruit z ower Of great experience.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-07-11
CHAMPION
G II a Nj PICN


Which we will warrant to be Well Made anil Of
go0i Material, DO rs good work as3By 9th
er Machines OF the kind AMI will
ask no mans money until
he has given the ma
chine a thorough tri-
al ami il satisti-
ed with its
wGrk.
THE EMPIRE Threshsr. separator o.,
Cleaner. q, 5 and 10 horse power.
The A. 3. FARoUAHR, ihor e thresn-
er with shaker attachment.
1.-THE BEST" The Hagerstown Grain
and Grass Seed Drill.
THE HooSIER force feed Grain AMI Grs,
Seed Drill
THE BEST" The Hagerstewn. Spring
Tooth Hay-rIke.
DcDD'S CENTENNIAL Self Dump
Horse-rake.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-07-11
ORCHARD GRASS.

At q late meeting of the NewYork
Farmers Club. Q Long Island farmer
was present, with a sample of orchard
grass three feet high, showing what
good cultivation will do for it. He
said that this valuable, though much
neglected grass, is Indigenous to the
soil Of America. and from its adapta.
bility to various soils. its early and
tate growth, luxurient foliage, and nu-
tritive qualities, is well entitled to an
equality with any grass. either ma
tive or foreign, which is icing cult.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-07-11

Is widely known
as one of the most
effectual remedies
ever discovered for
cleansing the sys-
TEN and purifying
the blood. 1t has
stood the test of
years, with a con-
stantly rep
itation, based on its