Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1877-12-21
FU n :!


THE FEARFUL SOUNDS THAT KEPT A
SLEEpING.CAR AWAKE ALL NIGHT
It was in the Cedar Rapids Sleeper. Outside
it was dark as the inside Of an ink bottle.
In the sleeping-car people slept.
Or tried it.
Some of them slept, like Christian men
and women, peacefully and sweetly and
quietly.
Others slept like demons, Indignantly,
hideously, fiendishly, as though it was their
mission to keep everybody else awake.
Of these. the man in lower number three
was the ''boss." w hen it came to square
snore with vari ations, you wanted to
count clover til reeo in, with full hand
and pocketf I'll Of rocks.
We never heard anything snore like him.
It was the most systematic snoring that
was ever done, even on one OF those tour
naments of snoring, a sleeping car. He
didn't begin as soon as the lamps were
tu rned down and everybody was in bed.
Oh. no! There was more cold FLOODED dl-
alb olism in his system than that. He walt
ed until everybody had had little taste OF
sleep, Just to see how good and pleasant 1t
was. and then he broke in on their slum-
beers like winged, breathing demon, aud
they never knew what peace was again
that night. s. a,sa @
He started out with erritic
s'Gn-r-r-r-t!"
That opened every eye in the car we
all hoped it was an accident, however, and
trusting that he wouldn't do it again, we
all forgave him. Then he blasted oui
hope and curdled the sweet serenity OF
our forgiveness by a long drawn
'GW-a-h-h-h-hah -
That sounded too much like business to
be accidental Then every head i'll that
sleepiess sleeper Was held off the pillow fer
a minute, waiting, in breathlesS suspense.
to hear the worst, and the sleeper in Glow
er three went on, in long-drawn, regular
cadences that indicated good staying quail
tiles.
''Gwa-a-ah! Gwa-a-a-h! Gahwahwah!
Gahwahwah! Gahwa-a-a-gh ~
Evidently it was going to last all night
and the weary heads dropped back on the
sleepless pillows, and the swearing began.
1t mumbled along in low. muttering tones,
like the distant echoes Of a profane thun-
derstorm. Pretty soon slower three gave
us little variation. He shot off a spitefu
t'GwOOk ~ ..-s...t..
Which sounded as though his nose had
got angry at him and was going to strike.
Then there was pause, and we began to
hope he had either awakened from sleep or
been strangled to death. nobody cared very
particularly which. But he disappointed
everybody with a cultural
isGurooch - a
Then he paused again for breath, and
when he had accumulated enough for his
purpose he resumed business with stem
torious
'sKowpf!" s
He ran through all the ranges Of the
nasal gamut, he went up and down a very
chromatic scale of shores, he ran through
intricate and fearful variations until it
seemed that his nose must be out of joint
in thousand places. All the night and
all night through he told his story.
''Gawoh gurrah! gu-r-r-r! Kowpff !!
Gawawwah gawah-hah gwock gwarrt !
gwahh-h-ll-whOOf!
just as the other passengers had con-
suited together bow they might Stay him,
morning dawned, and slower number
three'' awoke. Everybody watched the
curtain to see what manner of man it was
that had made that beautiful sleeping car
pandemonium. Presently the toilet was
completed, the curtains parted, and slow
er number three stood revealed.
Great heavens!
1t was fair young girl. with golden
hair, and timid, pleading eyes, like hunt
ed fawn's.
A CASE OF SELF DEFENsE.-A young
lady was visiting the family of Warden
Batterman, at the State Prison, short
time since, when Rattlesnake Dick, who
was out about the place doing chores as a
sort of trusty, attracted her attention.
Dick seemed so gentlemanly and accom-
modating that she could hardly believe
that he had ever done anything that could
bring down upon him the heavy hand of
the law. and place him within the walls OF
a prison.. n, -,5s- s
One day the young lady said to him !.
i'What are you in here for, Dick ?''
-'For highway robbery, Miss:
s'Oh, dear me ] Highway robbery! But
yea were not guilty-you didn't rob any
one, Dick p
20. yes l did robbed Colonel Stone.'
What! Colonel Stone of Virginia City
Colonel Stone, the lawyer ~
ayes, Colonel Stone, the lawyer
s'Wly, Dick, what made you rob Colo
mel Stone?"
Drawing near to the young lady's side,
and casting a searching glance about the
yard as though to make sure he was not
observed, Dick shaded the larboard side
of his mouth wi tn his hand and whispered
A'sh-ush I did it in self-defence."- Vir
giuia City Enterprise.
Many clergymen do not yet know where
the winter overcoats are to come from,
but they feel sweet and solemn faith
that they will get seventeen pairs of slip
pers about Christmas time, and that none
of them will fit.