The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1877-03-22

Two ragged little urchIns were stand
ing in the gutter looking at lady who
had Just fallen down on the pavement
1T isn't so much that | like oranges,
obs erved one of the m, "but what q lot OF
people you can bring down with the
peel"
what would you do if mamma shoul
dieP" she pathetically asked OF her niue
threeyear old daughter. 81 don know
rt marked the infant, with downcast eyes
and melancholy voice, Il Impose
should have 10 thpank mythelfF
The Fiji cannibals that Barnum used
to exhibit were out Of employment all
winter, save few days shoveling snow
and one of them feelingly remarked the
other day, "Divil such hard tonnes have
seen since left the ould country more
than siventeen years ago
When an unsophsticated Reno girl
gets her pompadour on before, IN the ex'
citement and nervousness attendant upon
her wedding trip, her general reaem-
blance to a Central Pacific snow plow IS
what makes people stop and stare at her
in speechless amazement
The following cypher dispatch from
Field TO Tilden is now printed Tor the
first time: "Goneup, Dammit, Piayedout'
Empty Bar'ls. Mules Busted, Income
poop, Croninsnose, Eclipsed, Bill, len
Thousand, Forkover, Joebradley' inter
nal, Partisan, Hayesek, Vale, Dead
Duckfield"
A three-year old little girl at Roches'
ter. N. Y, was taught to close her even
ing prayer, during the temporary, ao
sence OF her father, with, "and please
watch over nv papa" 1t sounded very
sweet. but the mothers amusement may
be imagined when she added, And you q
better keep an eye on mamma too!
A number Of our exchanges nave start
ed n department OF Original humor'
and when the foreman, in making up The
, paper. enormously places the comic para
graphs in the scientific column, and thf
. scientific items under the head OF hu
morous, the reader never discovers the
| mistake.
. The settled expression of determine
ton that mantles the face OF man wh'
is Just starting out to have tooth pull
. ed is only equalled by the subdued lool
. that creeps over his features as he paus
! % with his hand on the knob on IN
: dental room door, turns quietly AROUND
end tiptoes back through the hallway
!, . out doors again.
1 There is something refreshing IN Tn
9 absolute astonishment that visitors to
n p,inting Office sometimes display at tn
y commonest things What is that blac
Ir looking thing standing up in that co
% ner9' Is sometimes asked by an uns
IL pbisticated observer; and the neare
It typo answers: That is the printin
IT office towel We always stand IT up
ie the corner"
IN They tell Of prominent Methods
n brother at Westfield Mass, who toe
$, his little son to church with him Sund
se evening. and sat in the amen corner
Nv When the enthusiasm was at its heIg
IN and the responses coming often al
ne heartily from the stentorian lungs oi 9
ly father, the boy, who had also got tho
es oughly aroused, kept poking his faith
d. in the ribs, whispering, "Holler loud
ad father; holler amen louder.
- celebrated vocalist, whose demean
al and acting were as awkward and unga
!, ly as his voice was beautiful, said o
on day to Charles Bannister: "Do you KIN
,ro what made my voice so melodioui
ha No" replied Rannister. why, th'
,or when | was fifteen, ! swallowed by &C
:. dent some train oil IL don't think.
90 Joined Bannister lit would have dc
i YOU any harm if, at the same tune, y
NJ had swallowed dancing master.
What is that which, though always
visible, is never out of sight2-The
ter |.