The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1877-03-07
Items Of Interest.

Items of Interest.
When q man takes bull by the horns
his chance of getting over the fence ls
toss ap.
He-Whooze sweet? She-Boaf OF
us. He-Whooze plum pudding is 90?
She-Ooze.
Success don't consist in never making
blunders, but in never making the came
one the second time.
The bishop of Lonsdale's directions for
the way to heaven: "You have only to
turn to the right and go straight for
| ward"
! The California friends of DR.. W. q.
Jones, who went thence to Australia,
have received letters saying that he had
been eaten by New Guinea cannibals.
The Athenians erected large statue
of Esop and placed him, though aslave,
on lasting pedestal, to show that the
way to honor lies open indiferently to
all.
kno ov people so fond ov contradik.
shun that it would not surprise me at all
to hear them disputing with a glide
board about the distance to the next
town.
Women have often successfully hid
valuable in their hair, and young
French lady lately found thousand
franc note in her deceased mothers
chignon.
Monsieur reads the paper to madam
"Another crime q woman cut IN pieces.
Madam fquick]y)- "By her lusband?"
Monsieur Gnnocently)-"W Who else
would you expect? q
The Grand Duke Nicholas threatened
to shoot number Of Russian officers who
asked either for the opening of the cam
paign or that they should be sent into
proper winter quarters.
"What ere you fencing in that lot for,
Pat? A herd of cattle would starve to
death on that land" "And sure, your
honor, wasn't I fencin' it in to kape the
poor bastes out ov it t?"'
In a dilemma-The bachelor who re-
marked that "he never would marry
ary woman he didn't respect, and he
certainly couldn't respect any woman
who was willing to marry him"
A lady who assumes to know how boys
ought to be trained, writes as follows
"Oh, mothers hunt out the soft, tender,
genial side of your boys nature.
Mothers often do with an old shoe.
General Newton has just finished plans
for erecting new bridge which is to
cross the Hudson at Peekskill. It will
be one magnificent span of 1850 feet,
and the floor will be 165 feet above the
water.
Worcester Press: "Young people
who bet kisses on the result of the elec-
ton needn't necessarily wait till March.
They can have them now and the one
who loses can pay when the matter is de-
cided."
The Doylestown (Pennsylvania) Intel
liqencer says that "after all there Is no
heat like that from hickory wood fire"
You wait awhile, adds the Detroit Fress
Press, hickory wood is nothing to it, and
the Bible says so.
Mrs. Louisa Mccall, of Canton, Ohio,
has been chosen director of the bank OF
which her late husband was president.
and is the second female national bank
director ever chosen, Mrs. j. NJ. Brad
lev, of Peoria, ILL.,, chosen two yeans
ago, being the first
A large lot of wine will be sold out
shortly to close an estate III Georgia.
Some of it was bottled in 1796, and none
of it is likely to sell for less than S25
per bottle. How this simple announce
ment will cause thousands of those fel-
lows who travelled with Sherman in 1864
S to weep over their carelessness.
Grandma, do you know why can
see up in the sky 80 far ?" asked Charlie,
little four-year-old, of the venerable
lady who sat on the garden seat, knitting.
"No, my dear; why is it?" because
there is nothing in the way" replied the
young philosopher, resuming his astron-
omical search, and grandma her knitting.
Courbet the man who has been con-
demned for numbering woman in the
Rue Taitbout, in Paris, to twenty years
Imprisonment, has addressed letter to
the president of the court, imploring
that the sentence should be changed to
one of death. He declares that person
guilty of such crime as his is not worthy
to live.
This is how Offenbach dedlcates his
book to his wife, Herminie Offenbach:
"You have desired that 1 should make a
book from these letters written at odd.
times. This is the first sorrow you have
caused me. Still, I bear you so little
ill-will therefor that I dedicate you this
volume, not for what it is or may be
worth, but because I love to write every,
where my esteem and affection for You.
The cunning that seems to be part
of insanity is illustrated in the killing of
Erskine Barrett, keeper in the insane
saylum at Northampton, Mass. He
was found with his throat cut in the
ward of which he had charge, and one
or more of eight maniacs did it; yet it
is impossible to ascertain the facts. Sew
eral had blood marks on their hands or
clothing, but all deny the deed. Or
course there is no moral responsibility.