The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1877-08-25
NUMBER 10.
PASSING SMILES.

IF you tnlnk you arc tVo osii, MAJ
an extravagant woman, and you Will
soon find yourself short enough.
! Iowa is one of the greatest States in
the country for lead, and more ten cent
pieces are taken pin church collections
there than any place in the Union.
WHILE Demosthenes placed pebbles in
his mouth to heautfy and ornament his
elocution, our modern orators are con,
tent to fall back on the sustenance and
inspiration of quid of tobacco.
In these colicky times when green
| fruit generally is fulfilling its destiny,
we see among the small boys many
melancholy corroborations of the fact
that 81 by the apple, death came into the
world"
A PLYMOUTH (Pa) man recently re-
ceived letter commencing rs follows:
Dear sir, it is with the greatest pleas
ure that | take my pen in hand to let
YOU know that can't pay you that
money now.
STEPS leading from the Laurel House;
Catskill, to the bottom Of the kauterskiil
Falls are said to be twenty thousand i've
hundred and eight in number. This
statement is made by the gentleman who
fell down them last Summer.
Poor economy--to buy ten cent lille,
and spend two hours in milling the edge
of twenty cent piece to maize quarter
of it.-Boston Post. You forget the
pleasure some fellows take in lodging
honest labor Cincinnati Commercial.
O. HoRRoR Surgeon" Your pulse
is still very high, my friend. Did you
get those leeches all right | sent the day
before Yesterday p Patient -" Yes,
sir. rot 'em right enough. But
miehtn't | have EN- billed next
time, sir?"
ONE bright and lovely day in Spring
left the busy town, ~,
And wandered through garden win ~
And whenI asked. Art fond Of nowcrsg"
In accents sweet, ishe said:
.'Oh, yes, I'm very fond OF Hour -
In the shape Of good, white brcad''
sBehold'' said !, " the lovely plants
That round us sweetly bloom;
Without their charming brightness
The world would all be gloom.
love even the cowslip
That blooms in meadows green.
90 / think" said she, cowslips are mes
When boiled with pork and beans
SCENE in debating society. President
-" We will take the ayes and noes on the
previous question: Member" A word
or two, Mr.. President. Friends, Romans,
countrymenl lend me your ears"
President" Order, sirl We will take
the eyes and nose first"
ROME Sentinel. Five we'll sharpened
timothy seeds down the back OF the
perspiring farmers boy who is moving
away hay under the ridge-pole OF the
barn, will bother him more than any
question touching Louisiana or the
future of the soul.
ONE day last week a tircd-looking
man, with the smell Of the swamp upon
his garments, came sneaking into
Tallahassee with the returns OF the
backcst county in Florida. They gave
the state to Buchanan and breckenridge
by an overwhelming majority.
LONDON Pmch: A rencontre.- Mrs.
II. wishing TO cconomise) takes an early
morning train to the American meat
store. Mrs. HIS West End butcher
(who sells only "prime English mcat)
has, for some mysterious reason, come 70
the same place. They meet-td6tea"I
MANY a sweet girl, with tender, low
ing eyes, says the Hack-Eye, has wept
away the moments of loves young
dream, while the young man who was to
tell her all about it is pleading with the
livery stable man. trying to hire four
dollars worth Of horses and buggy Tor
dollar and half.
No go.-(Scene: Royal Academy;
Gallery No. H.)--Artful one (noticing
the proximity Of refreshment ROOM:
ooh, George dear, IL feel 50 faint
More Artful One (who has been served
that way before ~ Faint ehY it's this
doosid unpleasant smellof cookery lets
90 on bit" (Exeunt.)
BosToN Commercial Bulletin ls
that type of Reading beauty? asked
the Transcript as one hundred and sixty
pounds of female loneliness boarded the
morn;ng train at Reading. Yes"
responded Spicer, that is piece 81
solid Reading matter" and they silently
stole away to the smoking car.
RocKLAND Courier: No man is
discontented with the world if he does
his duty in it," read Rockland man the
other evening. He was busily engaged
in rocking bowling infant which his
wife had left in his charge while she ran
into the neighbours to compare new
dresses. He didn't look as if ne be-
lieved it.
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