The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1877-10-11
EVERYDAY sPICERIEs.

there is serious ground for doing so.
BURLINGTON Rawk-Eye A mosquito
cannot fly as high as an eagle, but he
can bully all the Christian graces out of
man great deal quicker.
SAcKvILLE Borderer: An exchange
says that woman's foot is one-sixth of
her stature. If this be true, we have
some mighty tall women in this locality,
judging by some of the tracks in the
mud.
AN old gentleman-having stated to
some guests that he preferred magic
lantern entertainment to any other, his
little daughter explained: "Thats
because he does not have to put on a
clean shirt"
THERE is heap O. nonsense about the
Hlast rose of summer" Just examine
one and you'll find it full of flies and
worms, and smelling like burnt boot.
A TRAMP applied to a lady in Des-
Moines for something to eat, and to the
inquiry why he didn't go to work, said
there was not any chance to work at his
trade now. The lady asked him what
his trade was. "Shoveling snow," was
the confident answer. He got his
dinner s
TURNER'S FALLS Reporter: If live
men were the recipients of half as much
Just praise as is bestowed ON those who
have gone over with the silent majority,
we fancy that this world wouldn't be
such confounded thistle-patch.
EAsToN FREE Press: The time ap-
proaches when the prevailing young
woman shall discover that she is suffer
ing for autumn leaves and young man
to pilother through the pathless forest.
New YORK Graphic: Before they
are married she will carefully turn down
his coat collar when it gets awry, but
after that she'll jerk it down into
position as if she were throwing door
mat out of the window.
ONE summer night-the sun was bright,
The trees looked down upon the stars,
The frogs sang gayly from their nests,
And graceful danced the jaguars.
The topaz brook flowed through the sky,
The green moon winked from the ruby vale,
The worm came out and caught bird,
And proudly blushed the wayside rail.
The pump began to hum a tune,
high, old hilarious tune
And on the peach-fed tambourine
Most sweetly played the bug of June.
The chickens on their hind legs pranced,
The squash turned round with stunning whiz-
There's something wrong about this song,
thnk-in fact, I'm sure there isl
New YORK Graphic: Suleiman
Pasha was formerly soapfat man on
Baxter Street, in this city, and dined at
the free soup-houses." He went to
Turkey and registered an awful oath
that he would win fame and gold. The
attention of tramps should be urgently
invited to this. Turkey is the place to
go to grow up with the country.
New YoRK's new penny paper, the
Republic, will not have lived in vain if it
should not survive another day. Its
issue of Tuesday throws some light ona
subject of interest to all men. That
"Mary had little lamb" is univer-
sally accepted axiom. The Republic tells
where she had it. 1t was at dinner.
PUCK says: The young man feels the
keen wind of autumn whistling through
his striped suit, and he feels that the
year is passing with rapid steps into the
cayernous tomb of the ages. But he
smiles as he walks out with the maiden
of his choice, for he knows that the ice
cream saloon is closed, and the proprietor
has gone into the barber business for the
winter.
New YORK Herald: Miss Long, of
Oregon, has married Mr.. Little. She, of
course, says: Glove me Little" and
he, of course, says: Glove me Long"
Love me Little, love me Long
Little by little their love will grow strong,
And each little Little makes it more long,
As Littles, by little, become great throng,
Through loving Little, and loving Long.
WE referred last week to the sad fate
of Mr.. Bates, of Vermont, who dropped
dead while carrying in fire wood. The
paragraph did not have at all the ex-
pected effect, and over twenty Romans
complain that they are obliged to carry
in wood by the cord now. One man on
Liberty Street detected his wife taking
wood back to the wood-shed, SO she
could make him bring it back again.
"HAvE you taken your pill" Z" asked
the doctor, brusquely. eyes, | have,
answered Spilkins, meekly, "but it's
awful hard work to keep it down"
"Must keep it down, sir, Must keep it
down." az know, doctor, that's all
very we'll; but 1 tell you, it's Uphill
work." replied Spilkins, whereupon the
doctor at once prescribed two more, and
| loft