The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-11-24
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

Shakespeare.
And four times lie who gets his blow in fust'
In a colored college al Nashville there is a
grandson of Andrew Jackson, splendid boy
who is several shades lighter in color than John
Logan.
Coculus indicus, virulent poison, is largely
imported into this country yetit Is not known 10
be used in any manufacture except that OF beer
The Chinese eve is cut bias.-Chi. Journal.
Mad IL been cut by us we wouldn't own 1t. II
was mighty crooked job.--AnrOra NcrcS.
There's more false hair worn this year than
ever" says a fashion paper. Al yes! They all
jute.
Burlington Hd,chnye: The latest war map out
Is war maple brandy. HE!
DR.. Carl Semper has been lccturing on 'Thc
Influence of the Conditions Of Existence on Ami.
nal Life" This is not old Sc .Sen,per of the Ty.
rannis family, but an eminent man from the
University of Wurtzburg
\ Connecticut church uses jelly solution or
simply cold water for communion purposes.
good many latter day Christian are fond of show
ny how the ways of Christ can be improved
upon
Now that Morton is dead, and the Republican
marty without leader would it not be well To
send for Gen o. o. Howard -Baltin,ore Gdzcttc
An exchange wants to know how the Turks
happened to learn 10 fight so well. Whereupon
another exchange exclains: Why, man, most
of the Turkish officers have over half dozen
Of wives.
4 Columbus, Ga, lady has been found so kind
II. oil hon 90 n
1ond Eagtirtr. But she whips up her dresses
Louis,iHe JOuraai. Yes and smacks her lips, too.
". Y. Conn. -idg. Yes, and bangs her hair, too.
--PhHd Bulletin.
"Twecd's confessions" have filed several coll
umns daily of New York papers for the last SIX
months, but his heaviest confession OF all was
made last week, when he confessed judgment
for 81, 400 55S2S That relieved him immensely,
especially rs he never expects to pay cent of it.
The Boston HcraM boasts that Massachusetts,
has become the Presidents right bower; and the
Post says that's because she made such Il jack OF
herself.
In 4 Morse legend the blacksmith Amilias,
having made an impcnetrable suit OF armor
challenged his brother blacksmith Mimir to cut
through it If he could. Mimir forged sword
and brought it down on the encased Amias,
who merely remarked that he felt Il sense Of cold
IRON somewhere about. "Shake myself" said
Mimir and Amilios, having done so fell neatly
into halves.
New York women are getting into the habit Of
lifting their hats to the gentlemen, who, In turn,
modestly bow and blush.
The new Rockford court house is To bc adorn-
ed with four statues to be set up in the four cor
ncrs of the court room and sarcasticaly christcn-
ed Justice, Liberty, Law and Protection.
The Scots, though sturdy, honest race, arc
not tcetotalers. gentleman writing from Ed
inburgh says he counted in confcctioner's Ia
dies room twelve ladies drinking spirit, porter or
ale, girl Of fourteen taking q bottle Of stout.
At the counter two misses in their teens were
paying for three brandy and sodas. School girls,
he says, take nips Of cherry brandy.
II am man of quiet tastes" he said, and went
behind the hay stack, took flask from his peck
ct, and tasted something.
GLOW terrible it is to lose a sister by DEATH
gasps the Rev. Sturgeon. But when she slides
away with tin peddler-what then aurora
NcirS.
Wives Of great men all remind us
We may make our wives sublime,
And departing, leave behind US
Widows worthy OF our time
Therefore give your wife a send-oh
BY the life insurance plan;
Fix her so that when you go hence
She can scoop another man.
There has been discovered at Elgin, H.. fla.
grant scandal and the local reporter of the Times,
~ M al T.
one whose mcekness Is only equalled bya Vcsu.
yius of harmonious ideality that pants, as the
deer panteth in the desert for the cvcr-recurring
Joys that the frc-worshiper Hated met in the
chastc embraces of linda"
The salt Lake Tr5Inc: Tie new bishop was
from Sanpcte, and his language was that OF
Norsmen. He wasn't much used TO the ways OF
Zion and when he rose in the pulpit TO dismiss
The saints be said: "Brcddering, ven tismss
by singing DOT beautiful sockdolagcr" And the
'brcddcrnsn sang sweetly.
\ TENSYsOSIAN RHYME.
There was girl named Zulla Cobb,
She lived in salt Lake City
Now johnny Young put up Job.
IL was all for 10 git
Mother wife 10 seal 10 him.
Like Brigham Young and joseph;
But Marshal Nelson sad: What VIM
Min these are! ! suppose II
some apostle should order them all 10 marry ON,
man, they'd do il. Enough Of this!' Injunction
lIabeas corpus. Trial for bigamy.
Every time the local editor of the FREE TRApEr
sells down on damp chair his brain ], affected
-OttQra TiriiGht DIP.
Nothing can affect the brain Of the editor a
The T,ciight DIP, for he hasn't got any.
Half an hours practice on q piano every da,
will bring ON fatal attacks VI paralysis in oign
months. CThis Is a lie, but If the press vii
kindly ass,, in giving II the widest circulation
grateful people win neither mlsinterprct nor iai
20 reward the generous and humane mo,iy
which promps the item. Burlington Hdirl,yc
The Hrah now believes that OsmGn Pa,ha
Gail Hamilton. Who. then, il Sitting Bull?-Bu
tIlo krpr2S. That suggests the inquiry, whcr
Is John =. Logan!