Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1877-03-31
The editor was dawned upon

:
genius who attends to the destinies OF
the unrivalled MINING JOURNAL ="
I'm the neglected phenomenon,
replied the editor, gravely, iii that
what you mean, who is expected to
furnish copy, write poetry, slash ex-
changes, fight authors and bounce
bores, Ill for the munifcent compen-
sation of two dollars year, payable
enthusiastically"
"Ihen you re the count I want to
see. Can We keep secret ?" and Mr..
Flourish posed theatrically by aid Of
a ruler and a paper knife, at the same
time favoring a watching printers
devil with hideous leer.
The editor said he guessed so, He
always made it a rule to keep every
thing that he could lay his hands on.
Il will unburden myself, whisper
ctt MI. lOdIiSll. nav gil
her checks are pale, her eyes are gray;
she's like fairy in the play. Also,
her lips are red, her.
Give us a rest" growled the eAi-
tor. "WEat in thunder do [, mar
ried man with three girls, care about
poDr confounded girls p
"Oppress not the fair SEX COM
msndel Mr. Flourish. woman is
our co.nforter in hours of ease, our
only study how to Please. and so On.
Bnt say, ID Diog,res, what ] want is
to get my name in the paper. 1t
would waltz me further into the afec-
ton Of my earthly angel--in a patent
hustle and agonizing pull back--than
iii the pounds Of the saccharine but
stomachic candy ever produced. Now
can you get up an aquatic scene ?
icy river - crowded ferry boat -
Young, rich and lovely damsel, of
highly respectable parents, taking a
tumble into the briny-groans from
the Mortified crowd-affiicted father
falls against the pump and faints--
suddenly a manly form appears
filings off his neck-tie, takes off his
watch-chan and plunges in-agoniz-
ing suspense-daring hero dives UNI
der cake of ice, and reeppears from
beneath it with an inanimate form in
his arms-pulled on board with a
boot-hook-overjoyed father sinks on
his knees and remarks:
FLOURISH, you have saved her,
take her something like that.
Couldn't do it. frrnly said the
editor, that is unless you would pay
US for it at advertising rates
Man, thy name is Avarice," said
Flourish, loitily.
always thought it was -, with
an e. murmured the editor, pleas
4ntiy.
"Symbolically speaking,' corrected
Mr.. Flourish. "See here, yon fiuty-
hearted pen-wielder, why won't you
obli5e me once? Some little incident
anything. Chop off all my toes in
hay-cutter; drop me from a balloon;
crush me with behring's safe; smash
both legs and an arm by falling from
st. Michael $ Church steeple; boil me
alive in bathtub, or any thing else
that II thrill fair and lonely beings
heart strings"
"Wouldn't do such thing for my
own brother said the editor. lis
10 use; | shan help YOU any
Not even mention my name as 8
peII-besrer at the obsequios Of the
next dead grea man ?"
"No."
cor put me dov-u in small type as
he man who got blown up at Hell
u*te md has just been heard from in
ne middle Of 'I- desert Of Sahara
Were lie landed minus both ca. AM
III Of his wardrobe, excepting ore
red, white and blue suspender.'
Look here growled the editor,
I'm busy. Just step
Happy to oblise you but I cannot.
Skipping is the innocent pastime Of
he budding maiden with ringlets
long, and silvery song, and
Here Mr. Flourish suddenly stopped
and rushed for the door followed By
an inkstand and Webster's Una
bridged.
Hang you" he vociferated, as he
vanished. III drown my Joys and
get in the Bailit's reports in spite
of you
And he waltzed down stairs gaily
singing: