The Morning herald., 1877-10-02
SUNBElMS. ,

DUNbGAM0.h ,.-s ~
Cool but not always oollected-An ice !
bill. n. ...y
What tricks are most common among
Irishmens Patrioks. .4-y... IS
The aerial quickstep is what they cal .
hanging in Arkansas.
It tisnow thought Osman Pasha is Gem
eral Howard IN disguise. T. ...
'ssallies out Of Kars," i" says head-lines. II
she is, it's merciful deliveranos for the
poor girl.
Mans inability to take fly across his
knee and spank it is one serious draw
back to his perfect moral Development. !,
An able-bodied snorer and q locomotive
whistled-lunged infant can soon transform .
sleeping car into sleepless car.
The American Indians, who are fighting
the United States troops, are being rapidly
killed of-by old age.
somsbody says: ''Every failure is step
to success" This will explain why the
oftener some men fail the richer they be-
come. g..
Boucicault says It is dangerous to make
love to q woman through an ink bottle.
Hope he doesn't prefer whisky bottle
for that purpose. i
What is the difference between good news
and newly married couple? There's no
difference. One is happy tidings, and the
other are happy tied 'uns, too.
An Arkansas tombstone bears Me-like
representation Of q six-shooter. This en-
blem ia construed to mean that the deceased
has ''gone off" with good report.
''You seem to walk more erect than
usual, my friend" Eyes, have been
Strengthened by circumstance" was the
reply. 49, .. ...,0 =.
An eccentric wife once declared that the
best proof she had that her husband was
made Of clay was the brick ahe 30 oftan
found in his hat.
''You are a-nuisancs, I'll commit you,"
said an offended Judge 70 noisy person in
An~rt 'fX>s have h sight - coalmk =
akhneA > 61 ~ GenAsr.
L county p9Yer 4 referring to forth
coming amateur = performance, says:
''There are several amateurs In the cast,
and eggs are already slowly rising In the
retail market" ~ >>'.se, l.. >,'s,.,
s'Where shall send my daughter7"
asks female seminary advertisement II
the young lady IL under sixteen years OF
age, she had better be semitic bed about nine
o'clock P. n. . ....,..
sHow many children have your" asked
friend Of an old acquaintance. "WsN, I
have five" was the reply; ''but they were
eating cucumbers when left homo, and
they may be al doublsd up BY this time"
An English soldier at Brentford recently
took an organ-grinders organ away from
him and threw 'it off bridge. The soldiey
was fined $40. In this countzy he would
have been voted medal and pension.
The N. 7. Tribune occasionally publishes
war map upside-down. Some persons
may prefer them that way, but women
readers, as general thing, object to stand
ing on their heads when they read 4 war
map.-Noristovn Herald.
A Niagara haokman, during quarrel the
other day, was shot through the heart.
Not being hit in vital part, he recovered,
while fellow hackman, who was kicked
in the pocket during the same quarrel died
instantly.-Havkeye.
''Whisper You'll be Mine, Love-" r. the
title of q new spng. It is supposed that the
old folks always remained with their daugh-
ter when the author went to, zee his girl,
and she didn't get an opportunity to, speak
right out
The young man whose heart stood still
every time through the long summer he
thought of ice-cream at fifteen centsa plate,
is now ready to lie down and die as he
smells oysters at fifty cents dish in the
dina distance.
There is nothing that will make fond
husband madder than, when shaking dice
with his wife to decide whether he or she
shall clean the fish for breakfast, to have
the woman put one hand behind her back,
shut her eyes and throw five aces.
The human brain is one twenty y-eighth
of the body, and after you have talked half
an hour withthe man who says Chewsday,
YOU are convinced that he isn't more than
eleven inches high and only weighs three
pounds ross.-Lond0a Lancet.
my son would you suppose the Lords
Prayer could be engraved in . space no
larger than the area Of nickel cent"