Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1877-12-21
A Clear Havana.
Burlington HaWkeYe

1t was Oh a Burlington and Cedar
Rapids train. The tall passenger, when
he got on, was in that happy frame of
mind that doesn't care whether Congress
is in session or not. He held on to the
railing very carefully as he climbed into
the smoking car, and appeared to be a
little annoyed at being the object of
general attention He ceased to smile
and assumed an expression of profound
thought and dignity, and backing into a
seat with great deliberation, sat down in
mans lap. He got up in some confu-
sion, and when he shot into the adjoin-
ing seat he strai ghtened himself up and
assured himself that it was unoccupied
by carefully feeling all over the cushion
with his hands. He then made an clab-
crate apology to the wrong man for sit
ting down in his lap, and cast a stern,
but withal an unsteady glance up and
down the car, to reprOach or repress the
smiles that were going round.
For he was not the kind of a man to
be laughed at. He was we'll dressed and
had a certain air of dignity about him
that, under ordinary circumstances,
would command respect. He sat still
for few moments and then took off his
hat and hung it up outside Of the rack,
and was apparently amazed to see it
reach the seat before he did. Presently
the entrance of the train boy bearing
box of the soothing Indian weed, re-
minded him of something, and he dived
into his vest pocket and brought forth
half a dozen matches, and then he dived
into an inside vest pocket for the other
materials necessary to comfortable
smoke
He had great difficulty, at the very
outset, biting off the end of his cigar.
He was little undecided, to begin with,
which end to bite off. He turned it
over and over in his fingers and looked
at this end and that, but finally came to
decision and acted upon it promptly.
1t was little tough, but he chewed
away at it manfully and perslstently,
and got it off at last. Then he spit the
end fiercely against the window, and
when it just struck against the clear
glass instead ofgoing through, he looked
foolish, and rubbed it off with his hand
kerchief.
His smoking did not progress very
rapidly. He couldn't make the old
thing work. 1t wouldn' light well. 1t
didn't seem to draw, and his agonized
grimaces as he pulled and sucked at it,
were enough to make a snake laugh
But nobody in the car dared laugh very
loud, for every time the tall passenger
heard litter he would pause, and, hold
ing his smoking material in one hand
hr1v fnE in, ha o{h
glare around the car in the most forbid
ding manner until the tittering ceased
or the match burned his fingers.
He soon burned up all the matches
he had, and then, casting his eyes about
for some one of whom to borrow a light,
he spied the train boy, smoking like
volcano, and beckoned him up.
Gimme light, young man, if you
please" he said
Light" demanded. the astonished
monopolist, light? What ye want
light for?"
For my c-c-cigar," replied the tall
passenger, with great gravity.
Smothered laughter went up all
around the car and the train boy, drop
ping into seat in his hysterical excite
ment, threw up his hands and fairly
shouted:
Cigar! Oh, bloody Nero, that is
banana you re tryin' to smoke!''
The tall passenger bent a glance of
calm contempt upon the shouting boy
and the writhing passengers that filled
the car with an oppressive silence, and
then, in tones of conscious and superior
wisdom, he said:
An don't know that, young man?
Of c-course it is. Inever s-smoke any
other kind. It's a genuine han made
imported banana, and don't you forgit
it,"
Then the passengers threw their hats
fiercely on the floor, and climbed up on
on the backs of the seats, and in one
wild, maddening howl of laughter lifted
the roof clear off the car.