The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-09-13


SENSE AND NONSENSE.
Hoxs Misunderstanding wives.
MoDEsrY-The art of concealing vanity.
The tramps cry for quarter-but will
take nickel.
BLACK lace mittens are worn with all
kinds of dresses.
TWELVE women are Postmistresses in
Schuylkill County, PA.
An IDEA, at any time, can be lawfully
elected to fill vacancy.
A4AssACHUsETTsy yong woman picked
enough pOtat0-bugs to enable her to buy
her betrothed flute.
The Turkish soldiers attribute their
victories solely to Providence-that being
the town their rifles came from.
BETWEEN Turkish atrocities and Rus
sian 0utrages, the Bulgarians are being
Whitfield down to very fine point.
Put away his shcrt measure,
And the COW with ir,n tail;
"Ai.ilki" be yells mo more at morning
He hae kicked the golden pail.
WHAT is the difference between charity
and tail0re The first covers multitude
OF sins; the second . multitude of sim
ners.
An editor says that when he was in
prison for libelling Justice of the Peace,
he was requested BY the Jailer ito give
the prison puff"
A SWELL who suffered horribly paid
court to very pretty actress. "Ah! sir, -
said she, "life Is too short. haven't
time to listen to you.''
CAUSE always precedes effect. This Is
the reason your lawyer always wins (of
loees) your case before he takes all your
eftects.-Burlingt0n Hawk Ets.
The Rochester Democrat and Ckyox;cle
can see no objection to marrying cousin,
provided it be the cousin of some fellow
who is NO relation to the family.
TRE Shah of Persia docs not pay his
debts. Shake! old Nasscr- nd deem; what
DO you do with yourself about the first
OF the month !-Uttroit Free Press.
CARPENTER" said q gentleman, find.
ing lot OF nails strewn about the floor,
III you do not pick up these nails they
will be lost" mo fear" said the man
"you will find them all in the bill"
MEN who are we'll posted say that
ninety mine women out Of q hundred re.
turning from Europe smuggle goods of
some sort, somewhere; and the hundredth
gets her husband to smuggle for her.-N.
+. Graphic.
TIE strike on James street, yesterday
morning, was promptly quelled. The old
lady marched upon the scene with broom
and the boy took the saw and returned to
work ON the WOOD pile at old rates.
Rome Sentinel.
DOCTOR, my daughter seems to be 20.
ing blind, and she's just getting ready for
her wedding, too! u, dear me, what is to
be dOne!" I" Let her 60 right on with the
wedding, madam, by all means. If any
thing can open her eyes, marriage will"
the discovery of the satellite of Mars
II owing to the fact that this planet ID
many millions of miles nearer the earth
ct present than for nearly eighty Yeas.
Take good look 1t Mars now; YOU win
not see him 50 big and bright again for
nearly . century to come.
An exchange says that bats introduce
bed-bugs In dwellings. We never were in
. dwelling where the bats did anything of
the kind. All the bed-bugs we have met
have seemed perfectly we'll acquainted
and familiar with US without waiting for
bat or anybody else to introduce them.
-Fht ton Times.
In Switzerland they hoist q white flag
over the prisons to show when they are
empty. We are glad this custom does not
prevail in the United States. 1t would
add to the already enormous annual ex-
penses of the Government, as high as ten
or fifteen cents, in good year.-Bsrling.
ton Hook Eye.
A KIND. HEARTED clergyman asked q
convict how he came to be in Jail. The
fellow said, with tears in his eyes, that he
Was coming home from prayer meeting,
and sat down to rest, fell asleep, and while
he was asleep there the county built Jail
around him, and when he awoke the Jail
er refused to let him out.
A RICH but honest lightning rod man
went into Missouri town, the other day,
and went around among the villagers with
. subscription for q fund to pay for q
lightning rod to be put up on the liberty
pole at the public square, which should
protect all the town. The villagers antied,
the rod was put up, and the town sleeps
in security and tranquillity.-Burlington
Hook Eye.
The honorable gentleman is seeking q
reelection, and runs to meet his constitu-
ent from afar, hat in hand. "Good day,
my honorable sir. I trust your health is
good ?" ut is" "And your honorable
wife is we'll, too, I hope.'' "She is. F"
was just thinking of you. I knew
should meet you, for just round the corner
had the pleasure Of meeting your hon.
orable dog. "-French Paper.
SPEAKING of cookery, the attention of
American ladies who are pining for q
mission is respectfully called to the fact
that, while food material here is more
abundant and varied than in any other
country, the average of the cookery is the
poorest that could easily be found. They
use too freely of spices, which tend to de.
strOy digestion, create an unnatural thirst,
and do more to send men to the DRAM
shop than nearly all other causes com.
bined. Won't the ladies please reform II
altogether IN. r. Graphic.
LIVING near Englcwood, in this county,
Is family of father, mother and twelve
children, who count 328 fingers and toes as
naturally belonging to them. Each of the
twelve children has twenty-fcur fingers
and toes fully developed, but the parents
only have forty between them. Prof.
Hungleford, formerly of Calvert, but re.
Gently teaching at Englewood, had several
OF these children as scholars. One day,
during recitation, one of this family was
told to count his fingers with o view of
imprcssing some number upon his mind.
The child announced that the number was
twelve. The teacher said the Returning
Board was endeav0ring to practice fraud,
and bull-dozetl the little fellow into an
other count. The result was the same.
"Come here" said the now ifate teacher,
land let me count your fingers" His
numbering corresponded with the childs,
for on each hand he found i've fingers and
Ar ~ ~. NJ