Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1877-03-08
Our Small Change.
Don't make soap yet.

Jim. Human Sr. dropped in
upon US last Saturday
We shall soon have butter as yell
low as Cronin's nose is red.
Well boys. the torches didn't
blaze for nothing did they?
The girls have quit frizing their
foretops since the warm weather.
Coax the hens to clay on Macduff"
with little fresh meat, and good
wheat.
Lets see, didn't somebody burn
some Tilden powder in Centralia last
November
Sunday night tn. Weather touched
the hem of Winters garment, and got
snug hold.
-Hiles few about on the County
Board last Thursday as though he had
the nnaELpor-"on his hands,
We fear that King Hiles don't
love US Well, we have no desire to
have thief entertain a good opinion
of us.
We have an interesting communi-
cation from NasonYille which will ap-
pear in our next issue. We heartily
thank the writer.
| Frank Wood, trying to emulate
the example of his little brother Geo.,
baptised himself in the ''drin K" last
Tuesday morning.
One who would like to believe
says: Blue glass may cure the jim
gains, but I'll be blessed if blue bot
tlsfy will cure sirloin steak"
! We learn that Jack Patrick 50
far forgot himself as to bulldoze our
old townsman Wm. Kline, last Sunday.
Sunday wasn't made for bulldozing.
Nearly one section Of the bridge
is completed. The timber is arriving
more rapidly and the work will be
crowded from this time to its consum-
nation.
If Cate should run for Judge
against Lyon it would be, judging
from his recent course in congress,
only another instance of a Jackass
trying to get into a Lyons skin.
We are informed that two men
whose names we have not learned,
were severely bruised by fall off the
bridge last Sabbath. The fall was
occasioned by broken plank, precipi-
tating them to the ice and rock below
and severely bruising one about the
head and shoulders
The blue glass theory finds disci-
pies everywhere, even in our midst
there are those who are determined to
let their light shine through blue
glass pane. A lady on Quality Row,
not one of the blue stockings, recently
tested the sficacious effects of the
blue light theory. She built a bay
window and had the glazier insert the
"deep blue sea- panes therein. The
first few days we're cloudy and she
didn't succeed in getting over pint OF
two Of real blue sunshine, nevertheless
her tuberroses, and marigolds, and
spring daisies and queens of the mead
ow and catnip and boneset, thrived
majestically. In less than four DAYS
she had to hire two small boys to GO
to wedding, but as they had to work
in the blue light they began to
grow too, and the smaller one, with a
boil on his leg, soon found himself get
ting above his business, and the boil
, getting too big for his trousers. He
J asked to dig ous, and the good lady
elated with the success of her weeds,
mistaking the lads meaning told him
that was just what she got him for.
The boil seemed to gain on the boy
wonderfully. At the close of the
fourth day the lady didn't know wheth-
er to talk to the boy or the boil. The
boil seemed to have boy instead of
the boy having boil. The blue light
lust put in it's best Hicks, and when it
came time to quit at the end of the
fifth day the bottom of his trowsers
only came down to his kneepans. hi,
arms stuck out of his jacket like the
bowsprits of twin schooners. His vest
had crawled up to his chin and when
the good lady told him to 'spull down
his vest" he billed over with indigna-
ton, and would have scratched gravel
elsewhere than among her flower pots,
but he was afraid he would be arrested
for nudity, or as lunatic He had
gained seventy pounds in meat most of
which was billed meat, he was stout as
a yoke of steers, but he was oettinq
ont of clothes. At the end of the
week her husband came home and took