Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1877-08-16
The Usages OF Polite Society.
INrEonUcTroNs ANp GIFTS.

HrFsr's RH-ar thus pleasantly calls at
t"utlpn 10 some minor points 81 every DAY
etiquette:
lake, for Instance. the fact that lady
bows first to gentlemen In the street
an action positively forbidden tohim-And
you src In 1t the whole theory or the su-
periur innocence Of women. y man keeps
his place IN society,i and has the sAtr,t "
respectable houses, when, il Is possible,
his life has become questionable; the in
nncenc" d! woman or any such conduct Il
asserted aud maintained by giving her the
right tn -ay Who shall be her acquajut-
auCr. II l-a safeguard OF society; il tie
ca"u-.~ 'A~r women he cannot have her.
Aud thu- many things that seem tritlug
have in reality important bearings. Among
these rt n mention the circumstance that
previous PERMISSION u needed before tie
Introduction ut the friend whp may be-
"tiAIuE with you % thc friend whom you
may meet. ana that it B., equally necessary
70 Auuw If u p" desirable % the other
party: unless tu~ J. uudrr>inol thr
iriend who Is with YOU viii walk uu a few
pIcr- slowly. should YOU hui u necessary
20 stop and speak. OF course case. arise.
where this rule mus be- violated, but Iu
those YOU probably know circumstances
that warrant Your taking the law into
your oNu hands pcrmi.-iou. however.
:, NOT needed at bail to Introduce "a gen
ttrnau - lady far lancc. PROV died.
That yrg have the rI.ht OF Introduction.
probably for the reason That She Is Al lib
cgty III that case % continue Dr. ,ul tNr .ly-
quaiutaucc next day.
\ letter oi Introduction i~ .tlll muIcclrr-
fully guarded than cnmmuu IutrnIur-
ton, for il j. au Endorsement. rcrnm-
mrulI'ipu trust. Il should bca-kcd ou-
Is by an extremely Intimate friend and
should be addressed only to one equally
intimate. II j. piece ot iu-plrucc - ak
i mcr" acquaintance To give YOU !, trars
OF Introduction. YOu put yourself under
great OBJ cation Ia accepting such lrric.-.
but You put the person who gives them %
YOU under greater. for the letter Of intro
duCtlon, duly houorci. causes the person
receiving il to accept it In the place ut the
friend who has written n, and to AFFORD
YOU all the aid, encouragement, aud enter
tAinncu po>~lblrt. 4 letter OF Introduction
viii, ot course, be Ike any other letter.
the date IN the upper night hand corner,
the address IN the space of two lines low
cr, the opening paragraph beginning dl-
rcctly under the punctuation point OF the
address, the name aul residence Of the
person To whom Il !, written set in the
lower lett-haud corner on conclusion ou
the envelope, II the letter j. very precise,
the word "For' not quite over thc super
scrptlou, aud IN the lower lcft-hand cor
ner OF the envelope the words, Intro
ducing Mr.. - and So" when given at
all. the lettcr OF Introduction should al
way, bc given TO the person requesting it.
" sealed.
For introductious in general wc have al
ready spoken of the lit iorm-thr inferior
to the superior, the gentleman 10 tho lady
even If u were the President OF the United
states himself; he /, simple ssntIrmau.
- TAR a. any lady in society is conccrucd.
Another of the email points ot social
usage upon which not half enouyh alien
ton i, bestowed in general. i the giving
aud taking uf presents. Almost everv-
body likes TO give. lew are able 70 receive
with quite 30 good Il grace. Iii offering a
giit one should act as IT she really meant
to give pleasure with il. and took pleasure
herself in the opportunity. or even a, if
the receiver conferred favor upon one i'm
receiving IL. aud should let her endowment
he visible, not as il she were throwing a
| bone to Il dog, who might take it or leave
II. On the other hand in receiving Gift
one should not be in too much OF hurry
to return il, if one only bides her time, the
occasion will surely come; but on no ac-
count should one manifest a disreli~h OF
the present, dislike OF receiving it all. or
dissatisfaction with il; and whatever is
the part of the glver, il is not the part of
the recipient to act as if conferrlng a fav-
or in receiving. TO refuse kindly offer
ed gift is one of the heights OF rudeness
and vulgarity. 1t is not, however, in
good form" t. offer gifts of great value;
they seem TO impose the obligation. the
necessity OF returning their worth. Ii is
better to gives often and less books, flow
ers, sheets OF music. an atom Of bric-a-
brac, embroidery and articles of your own
manufacture; game OF your own shooting
or fish OF your own 'atching, iffhe giver
be a gentlemen; countless trifles that have.
cost thought, and w'4ch are E4Jre WEI
come 10 most than presents which have
cost money. young lady can receive
no presents from any gentlemat not a re-
latiye, other than the one she is engaged
TO marry, as il can easily be seen that the
Indebtedness it gives her is troublesome;
but a married lady is at liberty to receive
trifles OF acknOwlede ement from gentle
men who have been her guests, or who
NAV be under the obligations to her hus-
band. Wedding preseut have come to be
expected of almost all ones friends and
have grown into monstrous proportions,
and there is hardly limit to the cost al
lowed them. But possibly, when the Civ.
ers are people who marry themselves. by
and-by. or whose sons and daughters do.
the gift may be returned. and that with
interest, as the position of the married is
so much more dignified, usually. as to de-
mand gift IN accord, and it is in better
taste not to create such necessity by un-
due splendor in the original gift. As for
the custom of presents at wooden, leather.
tin and crystal weddings, So called, it is
one that does not obtain in the best So
ciety. and seems to US insufferably beg
carly and vulgar.