The bee., 1877-08-09

wrote; already. for several days pas', feel an anxiety in me which ] can neilh' CT control or explain. Is this feeling q fore bodIng of thnt, what your to-day's behavior con6rmss and have l, whose sole happiness oh earth you are, hoped too early and mistaken for love what was nothing more than mere passing fancy. or, worse still, n play with my feclingsp But no, this thought as un- worthy of you will noi think there fore, pray you, give mel will ride past as 'soon as day breaks-a token. whether my love is reciprocaied or not If see the red rose before your window --I will know that 1 can come and re- quest you of your parents: if see the white rose--then my whole future IS an- initiated '
 Long sat, and read again and again these words Who knows not into what ecstacy the first words of love transplant young, innocent heartY And on this day especially, in my already excited state of mind, this overpowered me com pletcly.
 It made me extremely happy to be so much to the man of my own passionate love. Why was he not there, that l could sink in his arms, confess that loved him, and ask his pardon for my past conduct, and promise him that from this day forth, would be grave and sensible as was proper in his aflianced? Grave and sensible, l repeated to myself but where would remain the feelings which had filled me with such raptureg Once more did want to taste it, once more see the passionate fire in his eyes then would joyfully lay aside all childish ness and live only for him and our hap. piness.
 Sunny the future lay before me; no shadow, no sorrow or trouble dimmed it. And Leo would share it with me i; he could therefore exist yet for short space of time in suspense and dread.
 A rose, not my own lips, should tell him that loved him l should not see the joyous sparkle in his eyes when l gave him my consent How often had, in my dreams pictured to myself this scene and now was it going to be so different? No it must not be, he must come; from himself l wanted to hear now great his desire for me. How l tben. my whole life long, would think of this hour, and not only be happy my self, but make others so too.
 Such thoughts ragged in me. 1 relate them so particularly to you, not to ex- case myself, but to show you how many artifces and evasions stand at a. persons command when they would justify their actions.
 1 put the uhite rose before the win dow.
 It was long before could sleep this night and when at last did, l slept un- til late in the morning. 1 remember jumped up in fright, for it seemed to me that heard horse stop beneath my window and thea gallop away. was entirely awakened by it; but it was not until after few hours, when arose, that supposed it to have been Leo who rode past
 1 was on this day less confident than on the previous night; repeatedly asked myself whether had done right, in lay ing the white rose before the window. Forgetting everything what had led me to my yesterdays cruelty, remembering orly my love, took, before going down to breakfast, the white rose away, and laid the red one in it's place. As soon as possible 1 returned to my room, sat down back of the curtain and watched | if Leo would come
 The morning passed came not. The red rose was whitening. 1 would now have told all to my mother and ob- | tained her advice and help-bnt 1 was afraid of Der scolding, and then too, 1 was too much ashamed of my action . from minute to minute became more and more aware of my heartlessness, my wicked levity. How could 1 ever have acted so? Never more, vowed would trife with any persons feelings. The Joys and sorrows of my fellowmen | would hereafter be sacred to me, no more to be trifled with for my own amusement. In heavy, anxious hours
 vows are so easily made by the troubled heart but could never again atone l n