The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1877-04-17
Seuse and nousense'

When you can eel note, You can't
sell it.
4. An old bachelor says that when he
wooed she wouldn't.
He that refuseth to buy good counsel
cheap, must buy repentance dear.
Embark in no enterprise which you
cannot submit to the test of prayer.
Prayer is shield to the soul, a sac
rifice to God and scourge to Satan.
A long life without rest or peace in
God is nothing but long martyrdom.
ado not forget that while you fold
your hands, Time folds not up his
wings.
A little philosophy inclineth a mans
mind to atheism, but depth in philoso-
ply bringeth mems minds about to re-
ligion.
An Indianapolis girl hung up her
stocking, and the boys, for fun, threw
in reaper and mower, and two barrel
organs. Their motto was: "Though
lost to view, to memory dear.'
A resident of Silver City, Nevada, has
beard four feet and one inch in length,
and still growing. He has nevefshaved
his face, but up to seven years ago kept
his beard trimmed to twenty inches in
length.
30, yes," said an old lady, "the mod
ern cook-stove is great invention and
when my boy James gets through his
studies in practical engineering, SO he
can come home and run it, I'll buy one
of 'em, but not afore."
An imaginative Irishman has improv
ed upon Ossian. II returned" says he,
"to the halls of my fathers by night,
and l found them in ruins. / cried
aloud, "My fathers, wherel are they p
|Aai echo responded, is that you, Pat
rick McClathery ?"
Johnny was telling his ma how he
was going to dress and show off when
he was man. His ma asked, "Johnny,
how do you expect to get your living
when you get TO be man p "Well,"
said Johnny, "I'lI get married and live
with my wife's pa"
!. 81 don't care much for a quiet baby,
but / dote on a squalling one" said an
old bachelor "Why, how strangem
admiringly chorused all the mothers in
the room Mot at ALL" responded the
s,ehelor, "because. you see, as soon as
;i.s,brat begins to squall it's always ia.
ken from the ROOM"
A lady, whose cook went to a wake,
wss given notice by her a fortnight af-
terward that che was going to be mar.
ried. "Who tor asked the. mistress.
PHASE, nam, to the husband of the
corpse.mn tWby, does he love your"
was the next question. "Oh yes, nam !;
he said was the light of the funeral" J"
Years ago the King of Prussia joking
ly complained that his physician, DR.
Lauer, kept him on short commons in
the hope of making an octogenarian of
him and so earning for himself the title
of Excellency. The Doctor is now an
Excellency, sure enough. On the Kai.
ser's birthday he was named Privy
Councillor.
A Frenchman has invented a solder
to seal up holes in tinware, which is not
only pronounced perfect, but awful
cheap. But he'll lose money If he
comes over here with it, for the Ameri-
can nation is so surely welded to the
use of small piece of rag, that the
most elaborate combination can not
wean it from its idol.-Fulton Times.
1t has been said that unmilitary men
imagine that soldiers are always fight
ing. One Of the Duke of Marlborough 8
Generals dining with the Lord Mayor,
an Alderman who sat next him said -
"Sir, yours must be very laborious
profession. "No," replied the General,
1--WE fight about four hours in the morn.
ing, and two or three after dinner, and
then we have all the rest of the day to
ourselves" SG s
"The baby has got a new tooth, but
the old lady is laid up with cold in
the head" remarked gentleman to a
defeated candidate. "What do care 2''
was the reply "Well," said the gentle
man, slowly, "before the election you
used to take me aside and ask me how
my family was coming on, and I've
been hunting you all over town to tell
you. and that's the way you talk to me.
But it don't make any difference. Ivo-
ted for the other candidate, anyhow"
A novel license law for taverns is pro-
posed in Virginia Instead of rating
the license at so much, or classifying
the taverns according to sales, the sys-
tenn proposed by bill pending in the
Virginia Legislature is direct tax up
on the ssdrinks." "There is to be levied
/ upon every drink of wine or spirits two
and half cents, and upon every drink
Of malt liquor half cent. The bar,
keepers are required to register the
drinks by using. ."bell punches" and the
proposed law abounds in precautions
for protecting the revenue, and penal
/ ties for "beating the punch"
The Hawkeye man on recent lectur,
tour fell in with drummer from Chica
go, and tells his experience. "Ant
what are you sellingY" asked the mar
from the city on the lake. "Music,'
calmly responded the liar from the towr
on the river. "Sheet music p queriet
the Chicago representative. "Chin mu
sic," briefly replied the good man from
Burlington. And the Chicago man onl,
got behind the seat, and made gurg
Hing noise with a leather covered bottle
and emerged to remark that his col
league would have blamed sight bette
lime of samples if he would sell cheek.
The punishment by the knout, whicl
formerly was general throughout Russi
for almost every variety of crime, ant
J which barbarously murdered many per
sons by slow and prolonged, and mos
horrible torture, was abolished by th
present Gar, Alexander II. The cul
prit was bound to two stakes, and re
. ceived on his bare back the specific
number of lashes from whip of platte
. thongs interviewer with wire. Fror
( 100 to 220 lashes were the highest nun