The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1877-03-28
MISCELLANY.
A PRACTICAL JOKE.
BY META BELLE.

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York city, a gentleman, by name, Benjamin
Top, who thought there was nothing in this
life to equal good joke. He OWED small
store, and kept almost every article of domes-
tic and agricultural use, and was thereby
pretty we'll acquainted with all the townspeo-
pie, as they were likewise we'll acquainted
with him. Mr.. Top had played so many
pranks on the people around him that he
would have made enemies but for his constant
good humor, and his ability to soothe the par
ties he had irritated almost beyond the point
of endurance.
The first of April was Mr. Tops especial
delight, and that was smart child who could
enter his store ON that day without being
made the victim of some trick so that from
morn till night of the first day of April his
face was one broad grin, and 1t happened that
all those who sought to catch him had the
laugh turned On. themselves.
A few years ago. as the first Of April ap-
preached, our merry friend looked around to
see who would be fitting subject for a joke.
g / must have q first rate one this time, !"
said he to himself. " What shall it be? Let
me think all have it--Dr. Scroggins ;
yes, it shall be he. What shall | send-a love
letter? No, he looks too woe-begone for
that
After considering q while, Top drew the
pen aud ink near him and wrote as follows !:
DR. ScnoGGIss pear Sir.-Please call carly as
possible at Messrs. s. x Il, No. -- Wall street,
New York. whore you win hear something to your ad-
vantage
Then folding and directing the letter, he
snapped his fingers with childish delight.
''Ill send him to New York on FOOLS err
randi said he, and have good laugh at
his expense"
DR.. Scroggins, the subject of this heartess
joke, was a bachelor about forty years of age;
he had been living in the village only six
months and had thus far gotten very small
practice not that he lacked ability but he
was awkward in his person, and in his man
ners not very prepossessng, and being shy
and reserved in his disposition, was but little
fitted to push his way into society. He SEEM
ed TO be very poor, for he rented a small
office, supplied himself with the simplest fare,
and his Tongue at night acted his bed.
The first day of April arose bright and
clear DIR. Scroggins who was an early riser,
prepared his simple breakfast, and after par
taking of it and arranging his Office, took his
seat to await expected calls for consultation,
or to request his attendance ON some suffering
invalid. But no such calls were made, and
the doctor sighed heavily under the pressure
of disappointment.
"What can hinder my progress? | under
stand my profession" he said ain not a
single instance have / failed to give relief
when called to the bed Of suffering All, me
! If only had myself to care for, would be
content to live on bread and water till could
gain the confidence of the people,. But you,
my poor sister, who have already drank deep.
ly Of the cup of sorrow, must have more add
ed to it. And what can / do? Nothing y
The doctor pulled letter out Of his pocket,
and read
81 would not trouble you, my dear, kind
| brother" wrote his sister, knowing, as do
how poor your prospects are, and how patient
ly you are trying to wait for practice, did moi
want press on me and my child. II you car
spare me a little--ever so little--it will come
as blessing, for my extremity is very great.
Just at this time the letter-carrier stopped
and handed the doctor a letter he opened
and looked at in perfect amazement, theI
read it over for the second time.
Something to my advantage! What cal
it be ?" said he. Dear sister, should there
be anything good in store for me, how freel,
will Iashare it with you and your darling En-
ma Surely the good God has heard and ans
wered my prayer"
The doctor, who had little preparation t.
make, started for the city, and Top, who wa
OH the lookout for him, could scarcely hide hi
exultation at sending off an inoffensiye MAJ
who could barely support himself, on need
less errand of expense and trouble.
The doctor, as he wendell his way to tn
city, was so fully possessed with the idea tina
some old relative for he had several) had die
and left him fortune, that he had, in -imagi
nation, made various dispositions Of it bcfor
he arrived at the end of his journey.
'sCan see one Of the gentlemen belonging