The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-09-28
ed for news BY the provoking lack Of any
body to report it.

To the Commissioners surprise, one
morning, after he had been a captive fol
several days, a venerable Indian entered
his prison and began to unwind him. As
he had lain IN one position, tightly bound
for not less than ninety hours, the attention
was gratefully received. He broke into
an hilarious jig, both to express his sat
isfaction and to restore the disarranged
circulation of the blood. The liberato1
stood regarding him with respectful ad
miration. "Ugh y he said. "Young Por
cupine-not- Afraid of his Pencils very big
brave. He go chin Joseph
The Commissioner was. led to the wig.
wan where sat the redoubted chieftain
surrounded by maps and treatises on mil.
itary science. Joseph wore a garment
| consisting of an ingenious patchwork Of
human scalps. His head was crowned with
a bandeau stuck full of immense peacock
feathers, and his face wore the war paint.
Six horizontal streaks of vermillion, cross
ed by six lateral streaks of gamboge, the
severe simplicity of the design somewhat
relieved by green lozenges here and there,
and artistic escallops Of blue, lent a weird
expression to his countenance. He rose
with easy grace from his books and maps
when the Commissioner entered and made
him polite bow.
"Pardon me" he said in perfectly good
English, "for having subjected you to so
much inconvenience, but was not aware
till just now that you were Journalist"
The Commissioner bowed.
~ have done something in that line my
self" continued Joseph. II used to be
considered rather neat hand at satir
ical article"
"Then you are no Indian shrewdly
suggested the Commissioner, "for the art
of journalism is not practised among the
Aborigines.'
Joseph coughed slightly and winked.
"You Dc not recognize me- he said. u
aatter myself I am disguised with con
siderable Indianuity."
The Commissioner started forward in
genuine astonishment. "Can it be- he
exclaimed, that TT
Joseph fumbied under his tunic ofscalps,
and produced a pair of eyeglasses, which
be set astride his nose, regarding the Com
missioner with a quizzical stare.
The two men were presently clasped in
a mutual embrace. "Tell me about it,,
said the Chicagoan at last.
The so-called Joseph seated himself On
a volume of sTurenne's Memoirs" "My
boy he said, II was always ambitious OF
military glory. After having demonstrate
ed my versatility BY successes in every
other direction, it str~ck me that it would
be interesting as well as an excellent
joke) to make war on the United States Of
America. These reds here were ripe for
revolt. All they wanted was leader.
Being naturally leader land an of-un)
myself came hither and you know the
rest When | left New York / went ID
Bismarck By the Northern Pacific and
struck across the mountains disguised as
] never crossed the Atlantic
1t ALL That Garbett business was put
lp job to mislead inquiry. Such, oh such
s life Y
"And what Do you propose to do, Mr..
Iayor?"
"Tut, tut my boy West of the one hun
Iredth meridian, I am known only as
Joseph, the terrible denizen of the prime
al forest. ] propose to swallow Howard
t gulp, march across the continent, tax
ng Sherman at one bite and Sheridan at
mother, capture Washington, scalp few
perhaps, and then 90 home
nd laugh ever the hugest joke ofthe cent
ry.
4Hold On, = be added, resunisg an air Of
-olid dignity. NUNS the word, old fell
w. Here come some of my leftenants."
The mysterious chieftain turned grand
! toward the warriors who entered, and
aved his hand IN the direction Of the
"Take away the captive, he said, and
It him free with parched corn in his pouch ;
nd firewater in his flask. Young chief,
ou have slain several odd thousand of ]
J braves, but you are free. Go and tell {
e pale faces that Oakley that is to say, !
at Joseph, can be nagnanimous az well
brave
The Commissioner could not in deeency
ise his battle axe again against this
,nerous foe, 50 he threw up his commits
On and came East; and he has himself !
these particulars to the :
esent writer in confidence
What Yellow Dog Did.
L r.