National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1877-01-15

Josh Billings on the Honey Bee.
The honey bee In an infamible buzzer, sudden
in hiz impreshuns and hasty in his conclushuns,
or end.
His nstral dIsposishun IL q warm cross between
red pepper in the pod and fusil oil, and hz moral
bias IL "git out Nv mi way"
They hav long boldly. divided in the middle
hi q waist spot, but their phiskal Importance lays
at the terminus of their suburb, in the shape Nv
This javelin IL alwas loaded, and stands reddy
man az still az thought, az spry as litening, and
az full oph melancholy as the toothake.
Bees never srgy case; they settle awl of their
and are az certain tew hit az a mule IL.
This testy krittsr , lives In congregations mum.
male or female, or conservative, or matched In
bonds of wedlock, or whether they klub together
and keep one wife tew save expense, don't kno
nor don't kare. never examined their habits
mutch. I never considered it heIthy, for what
would It profit man to kill ninety mine bees and
hav the bundredth one hit him with his javelin9
are about the Lord only knows; they don't lay up
emmy honey; they seem tew be bizzy only gist for
the sake o. eating all the time; they are always
in as much ov q hurry as tho they were going for
grind around on It's axeitrees onst In twenty-four
9Ten hi snefe f Maf1 ehny
think now what 1t IL. Thare haint been q bug
made in vain, nor one that want good lob;
tndfe is eNeT lOtS Nv uuuAu uTOutS lOdnuK AROUND
blacksmith shops and cider mills all over the
country that don't seem tew be necessary for
ennything but tew beg plug tobacco and swear
and steal watermelons, but you let the cholera
break out once, and then you will see the wisdom
ov having jist SIGH men laying around loose; they
help count
Bees are not long lived kant list state how
long their lives are, but know from instinkt and
observashun, that emmy kritter, be he bug or be
good chance he kan git, generally dies away.
The only way tew git the exact hteing weight
ov the bee IL tew touch him; let him hit you with
his javeln and you will be willing tew testify in
court that somebody run 1tinid pitchfork into
yer; and IS for grit will state for the informa-
ehun ov those who haven't had o chance to lay in
their vermin wsdum as freely OF hav, that one
single bee who feels we'll will break up o large
camp-meeting!
What the bees do for amusement IL another
question kant answer but some ov the best
readers and heaviest thinkers among them
naturalists say that they have target excursions
and heave their javelns at the mark; but don't
imbibe this assurshun raw, for never knu emmy
body SO bitter at heart as the bees are to waste
blow.
There is one thing that bee does will give
him credit for on my bOoks-he alwas attends
tew his own bzzness, and won't allow any boldly
: else tew attend tew IL and what he dug he duz
we'll; you never see him altering emmy thing; If
they make emmy mistakes it is after dark and it
amt seen.
In ending this essa will cum to q stop by con-
GLIDING that If the bees waz little more pensive
and not SO darned peremptory with their javelins
they might be guilty of less wisdom but more
charity. But you kant alter bug nature without
splicing 1t for ennythipg else, ennythng more
than you kan an elephants egg.