The true northerner., 1877-08-10
WIT AND HUMOR.

ENTIRELY Baron of interest-Baron
Rothschild. d.-New York Commercial.
The Russians were worsted in Arme-
MIA, and now whos knows but that they
will be cotton the Danube?
poi DARr. to do right; dare to be true
kick at your mother-in- law IL she kicks
you. II rtf boa III yal1siss
!" You seem to walk more. erect than
usual, my friend. - "Yes, / have been
Strengthened by circumstances.
7o An Irish lover remarks " It's very
great pleasure to be alone, especially
when yer sweetheart is wild yeT
The origin of the word muff, applied
to fool, is said to be that muff holds
a woman's hand without squeezing 1t.
"THERE must be lawn order" said the
Judge, yesterday, pushing his little
mower vigorously y.-ROchester Demo
crat. vs6foW
"GRAcIoUs me p exclaimed lady in
a witness-box, chow should know any
thing about anything / don't know any
thing about?"
The married ladies of Western city
have formed " "Come-home-husband
Club" 1t is about four feet long, and
has brush on the end of it.
SPoTs on newly- painted doorsteps
show that lovers oft forget; and when
tired of promenading, are not careful
where they set. srala sht
A BRATrLEBoRo paper records the
marriage of John Sard and Mary Dean.
And now they are Sard- -Deans-only two
in box.
r.H
THE Gar is accompanied by Suwaroff.
We have heard of the latter frequently
about the LIST of January, but never saw
him In the flesh. .--Courier-Jo Journal
SOME men can sit on candle-box and
lay out the European campaign, and tell
almost everything that is to occur in the
future, except where their next dinner is
to come from. m.-Grophic.
In was a. Vassar girl who, when sailor
OF forty years voyagings had been
pointed out to her as an "old SALT" sub
sequently alluded to him as g an ancient
chloride of sodium.
"WHERE is the dollar of our fathers ?"
shrieks an exchange excitedly. You
needn't look this way so intently. We're
willing to be searched. --Rocktand Cour-
2er. ....
SOME of the members of the Legisla-
ture must be serving with the Russians,
for the telegraph told us on Tuesday
that there were "two passes in their pos
session. "-BostOn Bulletin. nh
Miss c." said gentleman, one
evening, "why are ladies so fond of of
ticers 2 " How stupid - replied Miss
G; " is 1T not natural and proper
that q lady should like good offer,
sir ?"
My mamma has got chatelaine on
her watch, said a small sojourner at
the seaside to her playmate. "Ho!
that's nothing" responded the chal-
lenged scrap, Ny papa has got q chat
tel mortgage on his watch. ."-Boston
Bulletin. lo .eaao ~ fE
NOTHING undermines ones faith in
mans hberality to the church so much
as to see him stick his hands down deep
into his pockets as the contribution box
is travelling his way, look astonished,
and then remark to his next neighbor,
i've got on my other pants.
oAseAcE, veal, mackerel beef, and trout,
Aud all loved IN other days.
Gaze on me with lugubrious gaze
And turn my liver inside out.
And through their ranks one plaintve cell
ttttA From lip TO lip has ever crossed
h finuL" lis better to have loved and los.
Than never 10 have loved at ALL"
LITERARY young man at. a party
"Miss Jones, have you seen sCrabbe's
Tales?'" Young lady (scornfully)-"I
was not aware that crabs had tails"
Literary young man covered with con-
fusion) y" beg your pardon, ma am; I
should have said, read Crabbe's Tales p"
Young lady (angrily scornfuD -" And 1
was not aware red crabs had tails, either"
Exit young man. be- aai rth-7A
THE young couple glided deftly through
the giddy dance Their countenances
beamed with the light of love and pleas
ure. She seemed to move in delirious
ecstasy,s when, crash they came into
collision with an elderly pair, who seemed
to have taken lessons in dancing late in
life. The young maid fell; tenderly her
partner assisted her to rise, and poured
stream of coincidence and apology into
her ear. "Oh, it doesn't much matter"
she SAID, "as / had my new cardinal
striped stockings on"
"TUR BEL strike downtown, remarked
South. Hill man, in an explanatory
tone Of countenance, as he crawled
vaguely into bed at 3 A. III. ''All role
raid shops shutup. Dreffel excitement
Workinmen all on strike" And his lov-
ing wife shifted the surrounding atmos-
phere suspiciously before she replied.
"Yes?r I should think by the way it
smells, that all the barkeepers were on
a strike. And then he gave himself
dead away by explaining that he had to
chew cloves for his asthma. a.-Ha,yk-
Eye. '
'ssp .aabfA Direct Appeal.