The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1877-10-04
carefully removed all the straws from


MS halr. E
PERER, THE POLITE.
/ Peter Dryer first made his appear
ance at ten O. clock at midnight on Ma
comb street. He was well dressed, ex-
ceedingly polite, and, when he came
along to mule hitched in front of a
saloon he halted, raised his hat, and
cOurteously said:
"Ah! beg pardon-I hope haven't
disturbed your reverie. Shall / take
the walk or the street to pass around
youp''
An hour later he gave seven sharp
pulls at the door-bell of house on La
fayette street, and when the owner came
down stairs and asked what was wanted,
Peter, the Polite, bowed very low, and
said:
" Sir, are you the Duke of York?''
Not by a blamed sight!'' exclaimed
the citizen.
And you can't tell me where the
Dork of Yvke resides, can youp'
No, sir.n
Ill thought you couldn't, but I'm
very, very much obliged to you. I'd
give you a nickel if 1 had any small
bills.n
"Tll give you kicking, sirt' shout
ed the indignant householder.
Don't-please don't-I could never
feel grateful enoughr' protested Peter,
and he hurried away and sat down on
the curbstone to wonder where his
friend the Duke lived. He was exceed
ingly polite to the officer who arrested
him. He offered to go down alone, or
to draw the officer down on a hand
cart, or to walk around with him till
morning. When registered at the sta
tion he offered to pay for the trouble,
and once, during the night, he called
out:
Gentlemen, if you should want this
cell for any one else, don't hesitate to
tell me so. don't want to crowd any
other prisoner out, you knowr'
Peters politeness didn't desert him
as he stood before the bar. He made
respectful bow, scraped his foot, and
said:
81 beg pardon, your Honor. did
not come here of my own free will. My
name is Peter Dryer, my age is twenty
seven, l was drunk, l plead guilty, and
you can fine me five dollars"
Peter" said his Honor, after long
look at the prisoner, 'Do you live in
Detroit?''
Il do not, sir, though l must say
that you have beautiful city here. l
reside in Buffalo, growing city across
the lake.
"Peter, can you leave Detroit to-
day?"
81 can, sir, and / assure you that I
will do so if it will be any favor to any
body"
..You may 60"
"Thank, sir, thanks. l shall remem-
ber these favors and ever wish had
your photograph. Goodbye, your
Honor
1t pays, you see, to be polite,
And to always wear smile;
And to carry heart that beats for all
~ And tongue that can beguile.
GRAVE MISTAKE.
Charles Ford, family disturbance
creator, had confident look on his
face as he confronted the eight-day
clock behind the Court, and led off
with:
"There seems to be grave mistake
here"
didn't they bring all of you imp
asked his Honor, as he looked down on
Ford's ninety-fiye pounds of avoirdu-
pois.
-, That's himmthat's my hnsbandm
ward.
Mr.. Ford smiled.
''He came home and called me
o,,J x,,,,,tn1 t1a 60 T bod b.lAov,
away, and he beat me over the head
and threw me down-stairsr' she con-
tinued.
He smiled harder.
2. And he was smashing up the furni-
ture and cutting the children when they
took him p she gasped.
Smiles fairly galloped over his face.
.'Well, Mr.. Ford, what do you say?"
asked the Court.
..Well, Judge, this is curious case, y
he smiled. my name is Jones. /
never saw this woman before, and /
was arrested last night for being drunk
on a street-car
.sOh, myr' gasped the woman.
"Why, haven't l lived with you for ten
yearsp''
Never saw you before this morning,
madam y he replied.
..Never saw me! Why, how can you
stand there and lie like that p'
Perfect stranger to me-never knew
you were on earth till just now Iguess
you are crazy"
=. Great lands your Honor but he
ought to be killed for lying! He's my
husband, as sure as you sit there, and
the officer here knows it p
The officer did know it, but the pris-
oner replied:
"It's all mistake. I'm stranger
in town, and this woman can't get no
black-mail money from me. )"
His Honor imposed fine OF ten dol
lars. 1t was paid, and as the pair got
outdoors the man said:
"Now, madam, don't bother me any
more. l assure you that you are mis-
taken, and if you further annoy me l
shall call the police -
And vet he was her husband.-De-