The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1877-01-24
Showing OFF, 4 Child.

Showing Off," a Child.
Are You \ parent!
II 50, then you know all about it.
OF course your child, be it boy or
girl, is a paragon. They all are, in the
estimation of their parents, which is
perfectly right and proper. We have
no fault to find with the great natural
law which causes all progenitors,
whether bird, brute. or human, to love
their offspring.
Everybody knows that there is no
surer method of winning the ill.will of
doting father, or mother, than by in
sinuating that his or her baby is not
50 s'forward'' and interesting as Mrs.
Smiths Johnny. e..
You had better upset beehive, or
tear down a hornets nest at noontide,
when all the inmates are at home to
dinner, than to venture upon any such
declaration.
In every we'll regulated family there
is a baby, and the baby is the autocrat
Of the household. He may be a month
old, or he may be ten years old-no
matter-he is "the BABY until the
next one comes.
When a visitor arrives for an after
noon call, just as soon as the weather
and the fashions are disposed of, the
baby admiration seance begins. II
your visitor understands human nature
to any extent, she begins by extolling
the baby's eyes, and she says she has a
lovely complexion, and such cunning
dimples in it's cheeks, and such luxuri-
ant hair, just the color of it's fathers
but otherwise than it's hair it is the
very image of yourself.
And you feel extremely well satisfied,
and steal look in the mirror, and fiat
ter yourself that those artful touches
of pearl powder on your forehead
where you are ever so little ssmotley,"
are not discernible, and you congratu-
late yourself On the new hair restorer
which makes your locks SO black and
glossy, and, as Charles says. "not 4 day
older looking than when he married
you!''
And OF course you are so pleased at
the good sense of your visitor, that
you invite her to stay to dinner, and
you tell Charles that night, that Mrs.
B. is the most delightful woman Of
your acquaintance! She admired baby
50 much
We have observed that when there
is company, mothers usually do their
best to ''shoW OFF, their children, and
children On such occasions seem en-
dowed with a fatal facility of not
''showing off, well. They are like the
end Of the world to the Millerite sect
they do not come off as advertised.
Little May ''speaks her piece about
that historic lamb, with sits fleece as
white as snow sp]endidly, when no.
body but the family is present; but
when Mrs. Smith runs in with that
Johnny Of hers, and you bring Mary
before the footlights, and confident
ally expect she will astonish Mrs.
Smith by her performance, she forgets
half the piece, and puts her thumb in
her mouth, and, on being reprimanded
for it, begins to cry, and fills the
house with her frantic screams, and
crowns the catastrophe by falling over
an ottoman, and displaying to the Wis
itor that ragged place in the embroid-
cry Of her petticoat, which you had
battered yourself nobody would see
it was 50 out of sight =. .
And just as you are picking her up
and trying to hush her fretful cries, in
comes Tommy with his face dirty, his
pants torn. and in deep, trouble about
the loss Of his kite, and the one bad
word which he has picked up in his
association with the street galnins,
comes out with emphasis, and Mrs.
Smith draws her virtlous Johnny to
her breast, and declares she must be
going. --s1~~--..-~-.r,~.r-., ."..--
Mother, did you ever dress your baby
up i'll his very best, without some dire
mischief Of dirt or general ruin be.
falling him! ...u .nr,
Did you ever keep his hair a week in
papers, SO that he could speak his part
at the Sabbath-School concert in all
the glory Of cur]s, but what it was sure
to rain on the momentous occasion,
and make his hair as straight us fence
posts?
Did you ever forget to wash his
hands after he had INDUCED in the lux.
ury Of doughnuts, or bread and mo.
lasses, but what he left the marks of
his fingers on your dress, or that'of
some caller!