The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1877-12-19
ihe Man Who Talked Too Much,

n0 ""hoeu, ne Teplled:
} "Corned beef, fried potatoes, pickles
. and mince pies"
, II his Is not a restaurant; this is an
ice cream parlor," she said.
"Then why did You ask me what I
wanted' Why don't you bring on your
ice -cream9"
She went after it, and as she return
ed, he continued -..-
"You see, my dear girl, you must
lnfer-you must reason. 1t isn't like
y that would come into an ice-cream
parlor to buy a grindst,ne, isits You
didn't think came in here to ask if
you had baled hay, did you9" p ~.
She looked at him in great surprise,
and he went on
"If owned hardware store, and
you came in, I would infer that ven
wanted something in my line, would
notstep out and ask you if you wanted
TO Duy mule, would I3n
She went away highly Indignant.
An old lady was devouring a dish of
cream at the next table, and the stran-
ger, after watching her for few mo-
ments, called out:
"My dear woman, have you found
any hairs or buttons in your dish9
"Mercy, no - she exclaimed, as she
wheeled around, and dropped her
spoon.
"Well, I'm glad of it," he continued
"If you find any just let me know.n
She looked at him for half minute,
picked up the spoon, laid It down
again, and then rose and left the room. |
She must have said something to the
proprietor, for he came running in and
exclaimed sr-...
"Did you tell that woman that there
were hairs and buttons in my ice
creamf"
"No, STRIP
"you didn't9'
"No, sir, did MOTEL merely reques-
ted her, in case she found any such in
gradients, to inform me-" >
"Well, sir, that was !. mean trick
"My dear sir" said the stranger,
smiling softly, "did you expect me to
ask the woman if she found crowbar
or a sledgehammer in her cream9 1t
is impossible, sir, for sucl, articles
to hide away in such small dish"
The proprietor went away growing,
and, as the stranger quietly slipped
away at his cream, two young ladies
came in, sat down near him, and
ordered some cream and cake. He
waited till they had eaten a little, and
then remarked:
"Beg pardon, ladies, but do you ob-
serve anything peculiar in the taste of
this ice-cream
They tasted, smacked their lips, and
were not certain. ay2
docs it taste to you as il ping of
tobacco had fallen into tue freezer?'
he asked. ~ .ar'.e.' 7-tl - I.
"Ali! Kali" they exclaimed and
tried to spit out what they had eaten.
Both rushed out, anil it wasn't long be-
fore the proprietor rushed in.
"Sec here, what in blazes are you
talking about, 2" lie demanded. "Wl,atI
do yon mean by plug tobacco in the
freezer }" -@.#
''My kind friend, l asked those la
dies it this ice cream tasted of plug
tobacco. don't taste any such taste, ,
and I don't believe you put bit of
plug tobacco in it," " Z F,
"Well, you don't want to talk that ,
way round here" continued the pro- !
prietor. "My ice-cream is pure, and /;
the man who says it is not is bold
liar !" " A~
He went away again, and a woman
with long neck and a sad face sat .
down aud said to. the girl that she
would take small dish of lemon ice. .
1t was brought, and she took about !.
two mouthsful, when the stranger
inquired: aaz laa a 4s.,,sa
Excuse me, madam, but do you $
know how this cream was made-have .
you any idea that they grated turnip
and chalk with the cream I"
She didn't reply. She slowly rose f
up, wheeled around and made for the
door. The stranger followed after. {
By great luck his coat-tails cleared d
the door an instant too soon to be
struck by five pound box of figs, o
hurled with great force by the indig- S
nant proprietor. AS he reached the i
,urb-stone he halted, looked at the g
loor of the parlor, and soliloquized q
"There are times when people \
'hould infer, and then there are times n
when they shouldn't. I suppose if / d
'ad asked that woman it she thought il
hey hashed up a saw-mill in the I
,ream, she'd have felt a circular saw c
Z ID
,oing down her throat."-[Quincy b
Illinois) Herald. aTc t& 4
EyEW DOZEN OLD RYE-sEyEN .