Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1877-10-19
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gerated notion OF dlScllplde. One nlgnC ne
met his lodge in called meeting mot a
member absent) to instruct them in the
work. Teaching them the use Of the CAV
ell, he had just called them up, when he
leaned too far back, fell against the win
dow behind him, fell through to the ground /
four stories, and broke his neck. Picked
up next morning, he was buried decently.
but not Mason came to the funeral.
More strange still, not a Mason appeared
any more in the village. 1t was inexplica-
BILE. Forty women left widows, two hun
bred and twenty children left orphans,
eighty-four merchants left in the lurch,
with unpaid bills. Twenty years after that
somebody went up into that fourth story,
broke open the door, and beheld the lodge,
lodge of skeletons Strange, but true:
they had strictly obeyed the orders OF the
W. NJ, and waiting for the knock to seat
them, had starved to death. Each was
standing in an attitude Of respectful at
tention, ''looking to the east" and had not
pitying citizens taken them down they
would have been standing there still.
TROUBLE AHEAD FOR THE ARCH
B1sHoP.-A third warder named Mccarthy
gave Archbishop Henri a very old land
valuable) copy Of an Irish bible, Upon
the presentation Of the volume the Arch
bishop asked Mccarthy to read chapter
from it. lie said he could not. With an
incredulous look Mccarthy said:
''Sure, an can't your reverence raider"
eyes; but not the old Irish.''
ssFwat! An your reverence can't rade
the fuhrst langwich of the wur'rld? Ye
can't rade the langwich Adam fuhrst
spoke to Ave? Ye can't rade the mooth-
er TONGUE of hivin? Arab, fwat will ye
be dom at all, at all, when ye raich hivin,
your riyerence?'- MiI,Daslkee Sentinel.
SING IT ONCE MoRE.-A Chicago mans
Young wife entertain ed him with selections
from Wagner, after which he expressed
himself as resigned to go to bed, where he
slept very soundly. Toward midnight cats
assembled in the back yard and yowled
frightfully. The sleeper did not get up
and throw bootjacks at them, but turned
on one elbow and whispered in his dreams:
1sSing it once more, Elvira sing it once
more.n She sings it no more, neither any
thing else. but thinks of beating her piano
into kindling- wood, and turning, her mu-
sic-book into curl-papeis.
A bolt of lightning passed through hay:
NOW in a New Hampshire barn last week,
making hole the whole depth of the NOW
as large as a mans body and leaving the
hay perfectly smooth and not setting 1t on
fre.-Ne,o Hampshire paper.
A bolt of lightning struck haymow in
the western part of this county last Mon
day, pitched the hay out of the wagon,
hiuched up the horses, hauled the hay to
Burlington, and sold it for $14, and then
ran away with the money. Next!
OPEN CONFEssION.-An old attorney
said, a little before his death, that he had
been reckoned a very great rascal,
and believed he was so. for he had done
many roguish and infamous things III his
profession '.but,'' added he, Shy what l
can observe of the rising generation. the
time may come, and you may live to seeit.
when shall be counted very honest man
in comparison with those attorneys who
are to succeed me"
Nov, my boy" said the Examiner, ''if
1 had a nince pie, and should give two
twelfths OF it to John, two-twelftbs TO
Henry, two-twelfths to Isaac, and should
take half the pie nlyself what would be left !?
Speak out loud, SO that all can hear 7"
s'The plate!'' shouted the boy.
(which is the most valuable expert
ence OF instipct?'' WAS the subject up for
discussion at a country debating society
recently. One member said experience
teaches us to back up to a hot stove when
we are cold, but when our coat-tails catch
fire instinct is boss.
bring on your Witnesses said the
Judge in a western murder trial. Clerk
blocking up and whispering to judge:
There ia little game OF pedro going on in
the other rOom.. Judge Sancho or plainl
Clerk Saneho. Judge: This court is adj
Iourned for an hour,
'iMy SON, said mother to little boy
four years old, s'whom above all others will
you wish to see when you pass ilt0 the
spirit world9;' 'sGoliah!'' shouted the
child, with joyous anticipation, "unless,s
he quickly added, there's bigger fellow
there" .i-ecs.
81 always Think said reverend guest,
that certain quantity of wine does a
man no harm after good dinner.'' sob,
mo, sir replied his host. sit is the upcer-
tain quantity that does the mischief
a paper recently published the following
lGen1 ga deaf man named Taft was run
down by passenger train and killed on
Wednesday morning. He was injured in
similar way about year ago."
A naturalist claims to have discovered
that crows, when in focks, haye regularly
organized courts, in which they sit around
and try offenders-a sort of crow-bar, SO to
speak.
81 am busy ploughing, and cannot. en-
terrain company" was the substance Of a
note sent by Michigan belle in reply to
an intimation that gentleman desired 10
see her.
Eyes, said Mr.. Squigg, sadly, the other
morning, ''poor Longstopple, the cotton
man, is a complete wreck. saw even his
old boots soled under the hammer yester-
day.
4'At what age were you married ?" ask.