Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1877-05-05
FACTS AND FANCIES.

most affect il and prodigals, who need
it most, do least regard it, Thco. Parker
To give a man a full knowledge of
true mortality, I would send him 10 no
other book than the New Testament
Loctc
SEE the dapple-gray coursers Of the
morn beat up the light with their bright
silver hOois, and chase it through the
sky Mlrst0H.
Music is a discipline, and a mistress Of
order and good manners; she makes the
people mi.der and genter, more moral
and more reasOnable.-LWhT
Music, of all the liberal arts, has the
greatest influence over the passions and
il that to which the legislator ought to
give the most encouragement Nqpo-
leon.
A MAN made a bet that he could ride
a hywheel in a sawmill, and as his widow
paid the bet, she remarked, William
was a kind husband, but he did not
know much about hywheels,' y
GoBANG" is the name Of new Eng.
lish parlor game for children. In this
neighborhood the girls "go-bang' the
pianos several times a day. 1t is a par
ior amusement that everybody is tiredoE
IT has been discovered that grass-hop.
pers do not like sorghum, and therefore
the farmers of Minnesota propose to raise
it, "iust to spite EN-" There seems,
after all, to be fellow feeling between
the hopper and the rest Of mankind.
Very few people like sorghum.
OUr in Montgomery county, Oregon,
there is a lady lawyers She is, or was
married. And the other day client
went to her office and found the door
locked, with the following notice pinned
up on the outside: "G9ne to my hus-
bands funeral back in thirty minutes" ."
A WOMAN recently entered a store in
Connecticut and sat down in front of an
iron safe TO warm her feet After sitting
some twenty or thirty minutes, she re
marked chat she never did like them
kind of stoves-they didn't throw out
scarcely any Leaf, those gas-buruers
don'tw
A PrrTsBURG paper speaks Of a young
man "who shot himself in the West End
one evening last week" There is moth
ing like being explicit The young man
il severely but not fatally wounded but
if he had shot himself in the southwest
end, and little northerly yearing south
easterly, there would have been no hope
of his recovery.
An Irishman to whom come wonderful
story was told on the authority Of
penny newspaper, declined to believe it,
saving he distrusted all he saw in the
/" "chesp prints" "Why SHOULDN'T you
believe the cheap papers," he was asked,
"as soon as any other" " Because,
was his ready answer, II don't think
they can afford to speak the truth for the
money"
A LADY, prim and old-maidish, ell
tered bookstore on Broadway the other
dav and said "Have you Gilberts
| Theory for Mental Advancement
"No,d said the bookseller. but we nave
! Bill Jones Oh heI I1Cau
the Intellectually Insane, ," The Ola
maid waltzed out. She was the eldest
Miss Culture, of that artifcially intel
lectual village called Bosting'
"THE baby has got a new tooth, but
the old lady is laid up with cold in the
head" remarked a gentleman to de,
feated candidate. "What do | carr ]?
was the reply. "Well," said the gentle
man, slowly, "before the election you
used to take me aside and ask me how
NV family was coming on, and I've been
hunting YOU all over town to tell you,
and that's the way you talk to me- But
it don't make any difference. votea 'or
the other candidate, anyhow"
A WRITER in Scribner has an article
on the subject. Chow to keep boys on
the farm" He evidently means well,
but deesnt touch the point. To keep
boys on the farm, the farm should be
we'll paved, and lighted with gas, and
have band stand, and billiard tables,
and its own bar and race course. we
hope our farmers are just as anxious as
they appear u Keep tllVll w! VA "
farm, but they don't seem to take any
definite action.-Daab'Dy Nscs.
"YouR face seems familiart to me, sir, "
said one man to another on the train the
other dav; "can | have met you before ?
Was it at the centennial? Or didn't |
see you at st. Louis last tall%' =" 1t may
have been either, sir" courteously re-
sponded the unknown, ." tof l was a
Turkish Pasha in the cake and coffee
business at Philadelphia, and subse'
quently filed a brief engagement in 1t,
louis as A cannibal. | am now on my
wav to California to become a gorilla II
native talent meets with any encourage
ment, but if business is bad | shall either
let nv hair grow and enter the lecture
field or get a chuck,a.luck board and iol
low the country fairs" Life, sad
the other man, musing, siuli OF VlcH
situdes." " She are" sententiousIy re-
marked the interloCutOr.