The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1877-10-12
DRESSING THE BABY


q two-year-old child she does II in sys-
tematic, business like manner, and with
out any noise or FUSS and before you
know It the youngster Is slid out Of her
hands with his faced washed and his hair
combed, his clothes In ship-shape order,
and q $40 chrome under his arm. This
all comes from knowing how. With a
man |. Is different. He makes clabor-
ate preparations and puts on the air Of
one who Is getting an eighy-four gun
ship ready for two-years' cruise. He
collects the youngsters duds together in
heap, gathering them up from all over
the house, and after a great deal of
bawling for this, and sharp swapping in
quiries for that, and an unlimited
amount Of getting down on his knees
and looking around under the furniture
for the other (all of which comes from
his having undressed the child the night
before) he Mt length sits rcsignedly
down in a chair and, with feeble at
tempt at good nature, says:
"Come, Freddie, come to papa, and
have your coses on"
The child, who is just then travelling
around in his night dress, and playing
with damp towel and stove wrench,
makes Decline for the door, full Of a
desire to escape into the next room.
"Come, Freddie, come to papa, like a
good boy" said the father, with brave
effort at patience.
The child keeps on his course.
+" Fred!-
This sounds so much like business
that the youngster stops, turns, and
lacking slowly up to the now stern
browed parent, gradually gets within
reach, when sudden grab Of his arm
brings him into position where the damp
towel slaps around on the fathers clean
shirt front, and the stove-wrench
pumps solidly down upon the very top
Of his foot
Immortal Julius!" he screams i'm
agony, nursing his foot with one hand
and shaking the poor innocent with the
other; whercupon the innocent sets up
an accompanying yell.
A voice from below, where the wife
and mother is busted with getting break
fast, joins in the chorus.
"Olmstead Molleson, what on earth
are you doing to that child?r
"Oh, you be darned!" goes back the
quick reply, in short, ugly, desperate
growl that silences all further inquiry.
Then the father, after rubbing his
foot and grooming awhile. squares the
child around an begins the process of
dressing him, which is mostly made up
Of dreadful struggles between clumsy
fingers and smooth porcelain buttons, a
general misplacing Of garments hind
side before and upside down, searches
after the missing articles, and talk like
the following:
s'Turn around!"
Stand still"
Hold your arm up!''
Thunder and lightning! Can't yon
let things bep"
" Stop reachingi"
Hold your head up!"
:" Up, say"
"Can't you keep still?-
" Where's that other skirt?-
shut up!"
Let goir
" Blast that button!',
I" Now, where in blazes is that pinP'
Stand up!"
.There, by thunderi'-
"Why don't you fall down and be
done with itPr
''Stop your howlingl-
"Stop!"
"Ouch! Devil take that pin!-'
. Let that bel"
Bebave!'
q Great scat"
"Say, why don't you have four or FIVE
thousand more buttons on your
clothes?"
"Now, where's that stocking?''
Keep your foot still!''
Say, keep-your--foot--stilli''
"By Jove in Jerusalem."
"Gimme the other foot.-
"No, the other!"
"Can't you seeP''
Sanctified Solomon, what do you
want to spread your toes out for? How
do you suppose I'm going TO put your
stocking on with your foot in that
shape?"
"Stop it!'
/" Stop il. sayi-
sProw wowl ecu! Who stuck
that pin in that wayP"
. You, of COURSE" says cold, thin,
cutting voice; and he glanced up and
sees his wife looking down on him in
haunting, exasperating sort Of way.
I'D be ashamed of myself" she con-
tinucd, 'to 20 on in that way and get
50 out Of patience with little bit OF
baby. You've been making noise
enough 70 wake the dead, and his clothes
look As If they'd been thrown on with
pictfork Gimme him"
And he gifts up silently and sullcnly,
and after slamming and stamping around
the house after the liniment bottle, and
banging doors and making rs big a noise
as no can, he works himself up into
such a state Of meanness and mortifca-
ton that, 70 spite himself, he goes of
downtown without his breakfast. Phil
adciphsa World
-
Electric CandIes...(ias Superseded.