The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-02-16
Facts and Fancies.

a REGULAR BuLLDozER "A citl-
zen of Eureka having occas ion 10
go home rather unexpectedly q
night or two since, caught q gentle
man acquaintance in the act of kiss
ing his wife. On relating the cir
cumstance to a friend, he was asked
If he punished the guilty couple,
end replied: mo, not exactly; but
they must have seen from the way I
slammed the door / was not salts
fed"
Chicago Journal: "Oh, mamma,
il ] only could have one of those
new style of dresses made to button
down the back from the neck to the
heels" 'Well, my daughter, you
can" "Whatl cam" Eyes, DEAR
Button clear DOWN." Certainly,
my darling" with smoke pearl
buttons 2" "Yee, pet, "And gaIoon
trimmings aYes, dearest" lob,
mammal They hug.
One of the attractions in Balti-
more church fair is an imitation
Swiss mountain 80 feet high, up
which pretty girl in Alpine dress
will guide traveller for % cents.
Another allurement is walk under
the ocean accompanied by q girl,
who personates q mermaid as near
ly as nature and decorum will per-
NIT. The space under the academy
of music, provided with shells,
rocks, corals, sponges and other
sea products, represents the subma-
rine kingdom.
Florida letter writers complain
that the political THERMOMETERS has
not been the only source of depres-
sion in that State. The mercury
this winter fell below Is degrees,
and succession of frosts has lately
destroyed all prospects of an grange
crop. The fruit growers are much
disheartened. During the previous
winter the mercury did not at anv
time fall below 81 degrees.
If Russia won't fight, and Turkey
won't fight, and England has crawl
ed into q cave, grocers might as
we'll come down on the price of
dried apples.
: An Oregon boy, who got to
school the other day g few minutes
before the master and his fellows,
declared vacancy, and cast the
whole vote of the school in favor of
a holiday.
"They must have a very feeble
constitution in Congress" said Mrs.
Darlington, ''if they haven't got
power enough to count a few Votes.
Why, Isaac would do it in five min
utes by simple admonition."
The other night when the snow
was on the ground and the young
man was in his glory, she wiped
away the frost from his moustache
and he said: Owe found red ear"
Then he kissed her. But when she
leaned over on his manly breast and
discovered his ear, she drew herself
away and exclaimed: give found
circus tent !"
"Don't put too much confidence
in lovers vows and sighs," said
Mrs. Partington to her niece; ''let
him tell you that you have lips like
strawberries and cream, cheeks like
q tarnation and eyes like an aster-
isk, bnt such things eftener come
from tender head than a tender
heart
A thief entered Bob Johnson's
coal shed at Pontine, ILL.,, the other
night, but while filling his sack was
surprised by another robber, bent
upon a similar errand. Each sup
posing the other to be the owner of
the coal, sharp fight ensued, in
which both were badly mangled,
while johnson sat unconscious be-
fore his stove warming his toes and
M tho Houso
Offenoach took 8 walk with a
New Yorker, of whom he says :
''At every step he met some of his
friends. remarked that he salu-
ted certain persons very profound
ly, while to others he scarcely rails
ed his hat. / asked him the expia-
nation of this. He answered me in
the most serious manner THAT
gentleman Just ssluted so respect
fully Is very important man IN
New York society he is worth
81 100000. This one who is now
passing is worth only 100000 +"
A protest against Mr.. Moody's
appeal to the Sunday schools to
raise $1,000 for the children of Mr..
Bliss, who was killed in the Ashta-
bula accident, is made by the Chi
cago correspondent of the Christian
Advocate. He says Mr.. Bliss had q
life Insurance of $4,000; the rail-
road company will have to pay $10,-
600; the copyright on Mr.. Bliss
Gospel Hymns" is $4,000 and the
citizens of Chicago have raised $l0,-
600. The whole amounts to $4,000,
sin addition TO what Mr.. Bliss may
have earned by his labors as singer,
az he was never allowed to depart
unpaid from any place where he