The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1877-05-03
UNCLE ZEKES CONSCIENCE.

UNCLE ZEKE'S CONSCIENCE.
Some wears ago there moved to the |
neighborhood of Uncle Zeke's cabin
gentleman from New York, whose identi- |
ty may be disguised under the name OF
Smith The newcomer engaged vigor-
ously in farming, and by liberal employ
ment and prompt payment soon gained
the good will of the colored men around
him. Uncle Zeke, in particular, was new
er weary of chanting his praises, and many
a bushcl of oysters did Ezekiel convert
into money at Bellevue, as Smiths estate
was called. But all the good will OF his
humble neighbors did not suffice to pro-
tect Mr. Smith from pilferings. Shoats
would disappear during the night, geese
and turkeys would take wings Tor parts
unknown, and in particular the corn-crlb
would show by unmistakable signs that
its sanctity had been violated. To the
story of these various losses would Uncle
Zeke incline a sympathetic ear. and his
well, now, who ever hear de like o dat!
'clar to goodness, desc yer boys is gittin
wusser and wusser," evidenced his detest-
alton of the crime and his contempt tor
the offender.
Smiths patience was at last exhausted,
and he determined upon vigorous meas
ures for the protection of his property.
| His first experiment was to place large
spring rat-trap, artistically concealed In a
heap of shelled corn, close by the cathode
in the corn-crib. expecting that the unwa-
nv thief, plunging his hand recklessly
through the hole in the heap, would be
caught and held till some one came to set
! him free. But 10. next morning the trap
was sprung, and the heap OF corn dlmln-
ished, but the thief had vanished and left
no trace behind
At last a good-sized box arrived from
New York, and the next day the local car
penter was ordered to fix two brass ham
dies to the corn-crib, one of them to be
put alongside the door for convenience, as
Mr. Smith publicly explained, OF steady
Ping ones self while turning the other.
The second handle had latch attached
to it by which the door was secured on
the inside, and was set in such position
that any one turning it must hold on by
: the other knob to prevent being thrown
backward by the opening door. Both
handles were profusely decorated with
glass, and elected much admiration from
the hands, who submitted them to crit
cal examination. The carpenters work
being finished, Smith, in presence OF all
his EMPLOYEES. solemnly repeated in front
of the corn-crib the first two lines of the
. second book of Virgil's Eneid, and an
nounced that his corn was thenceforward
. secure. A box. stated to contain seeds
was that afternoon deposited in the crib
and during the early part OF the ensuing
night the proprietor OF Bellevue secret,
busted himself with a coil of insulated
J wire.
4 Numerous and diverse were the specu
lations among the darkies. jim Oakie..
9 Flowed Mis- Smith done 'witched dat a
courthouse. sho huff. Tell you, gemmen
f YOU touch dem ere handles, evil sperri
carry you way. No such ting's evil sper
. it! How you know dere no such ting
. Hush, boy; go an see what de Bible sa
bout dem tings.'
= Pete Lee "aidn't b'lieve in no sperits
: got gun fixed somewhat inside dat house
) turn de handles an Gle gun 90 off. See
i dem tings afore, up country, when live
O in Goozleum."
!, Another theorist averred that ''whil
. Mis- Smith sayin dat ar Scripter over 'el
= handles, he seen white pigeon come
!, sailin' roun' an roun', and done light o
. de peak o. de corn house roof. High! te
: you. sar, sumpin' up, sho."
i Uncle Zeke. like the rest, was trouble
r. in his mind, but, unlike his fellows, /
n determined to waste no time in specul'
r. ton, but to seek his information dire
= from headquarters. Prepared with half
A. bushel of oysters. as an excuse for conve
+ sation, he sought an interview with M
" Smith, and boldly propounded his que
n tons.
at mis- Smith, what you bin a-doin'
4 dat ar crib o. yournl'
or "Why, Uncle Zeke, what do you wa
8 to know for?"
of "Oh, muffin, Sar; sorter Gurus Ink
=. Hearn all de boys talkin' bout it-neb
st see muffin like that afore."
l. .Well, Uncle Zcke. / cant very WI
70 explain it to you, but just advise y
10 don't 90 near that crib after dark,
as you may see something you won't like
on And Uncle Zeke departed, revolving maj
i things in his mind.
IA It was midnight-the hour when chur
no yards are said to yawn, not with exhat
m ton. but returning animation. In fro
of the enchanted courthouse stood Brot
er Ezekiel, lengthy pole in his ha1
ri, and capacious meal bag over his sho'
81 der. In silent meditation he stood !
some five minutes. deliberating on
= best plan Of attack. The great Newfoun
-. land Watchdog bounded toward him, I
To- identity in rejoicing welcome. Fol
Irv from his pocket the old man drew
rg savory bit Of fried bacon, which the fai
,er less Bos'en eagerly devoured. The
at Election ended, the dog lay contentedly
,eh the ground, and watched the subsegus
proceedings with the air Of a totally d
interested observer
"Clar to goodness. now" muttcred [
Gle Zeke. ..wish't | un'stood bout