The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1877-05-09
Original Sin.
BABIES IN PRAYER-TIME.
g Wife In the Christian Union.

wlckedness upon general principles.
But how on earth such ancestry as theirs
two long rows of unspotted Deacons
and ministers could ever produce such
little imps is quite beyond me- All the
wild oats that have been smothered un-
der white ties for couple of centuries
have cropped out in my two boys; and
all have to say is, tits very hard on me.
1 have born with them until patience is no
longer a virtue; and now bring them up
before the religious public for dicipline
Solomon says, "Spare the rod and spoil
the child'; but he was wise old gentle
man not to commit himself any further.
What would he have us do if after an un-
sparing use of the rod the child is still
spoiled? From the time my small men
step out of their respective cribs in the
morning till they tumble into them at
night our house is one "seene of confu-
sion and creature complaints" One eter-
nal howl, rising and falling, changing
from sad to gay, from mad to repentant,
but never dying away till the little eyes
are closed and the fat fists punched into
the pillow for the night.
We always have morning prayers in
the sitting room. There, in front of the
blazing fire, are two great easy-chairs,
dubbed respectively, the big bears chair"
and middlesized bears chair" Then
there are two crickets for the "little
BEARS" After we have had our breakfast,
and the two youngsters have eaten a
miraculous quantity of oatmeal, they
know that the next thing on the the pro-
gramme is to go into the sitting room and
seat ourselves for "prayers" So they
start pell-mell, trip over one another, and
and sprawl headlong, one on top of the
other, through the doorway. The upper
one pounds the under one, and the under
one roars and bowls. Then we sit down,
in which process the baby is always sure
to come short of his cricket, and sit down
a little on one side, with thump and a
a roar. Then each must have some sort
Of book for bible. Baby prefers
"Kcble's Christian Year," because it has
a red cover, whilst Charles has leaning
to "Wild Sports in the Far West" be-
cause now and again he can steal peep
at the bloodthirsty engravings. We are
about to commence. Paterfamilias looks
solemn. "Charles," he says, " if you are
not good boy, papa will punish you
after prayers" Charles looks awestruck,
and baby's lip quivers. We all fell
solemn enough to commence. We have
read dozen verses, and the children still
sit motionless.
I fall to thinking what beautiful thing
it is to have the little ones worship with
us. Their memories may treasure up
words that are empty now, but in after
years may be full of meaning. We read
a few more verses. Bless me! The crick-
cts and their owners have disappeared.
They have hitched" along noiselessly,
and are punching one another behind the
desk. A few more verses, and they crawl
around behind my chair tandem-fashion
Children" say, in an agonized whis-
per, Ego back, go back don't you remem-
Der what papa said?" But they are deaf
to remonstrance, and the next thing they
do is to get the tongs and poker and beat
the loudest kind of reveille on the coal
scuttle. "Children!" 1 shout, "go back
to your seats this minute" They go, and
we all kneel down for the prayer. They
are worse than ever. Baby turns Metho,
dist, and his responses come near drown
ing the prayer. Charley finds pin. and
is about to stick it into baby's leg when
restrain him. Then they both stand upon
their crickets and make simultaneous
dive for the depths of my easy chair, near.
ly knocking me into the fire. Next they
pull off their fathers slippers, and are
about to commit assault and battery or
him.
Just then he says, "Our Father which
art in Heaven They recogizc thai
phrase as the beginning Of the end,
and the transformation is wonderful
Little heads are bent and hands folded
decorously, and in that attitude they
} remain for full minute after we arc
J on our feet, as proof positive that they
have been "good." We hold family
council as to the degree of badness thai
merits a whipping and end with giving
them solemn lecture and free pardon
We entertained a minister, not long
; since, for a week. OF course he con.
Quoted prayers, and said, alphabetically
that hoped the children did not disturb
him. Poor man! Like George W., he
could not tell a lie. So he blushed and
said they did distract him little, but
he hoped he should be able not to notice
;, it.
Cannot any one who reads this tale Of
woe suggest a remedy7 Iappeal to those
who have no children?-their theories are
always the best to tell me what to do.
T.~H IL ~ II