The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1877-05-24
A FEW STORIES.
some of the Jokes They Tell in New
Hampshire Town.


The Goston Journal prints letter
from Hopkington, N. H., in which the
following old-time incidents are des-
clibed: Years ago there lived in this
town two individuals noted for their ha-
bitual Incidence. Public opinion was
undecided which was the lazier. One
day wag announced that the doubtful
point had been settled, an effective test
having been applied. In response to
particular inquiries he stated that the
two men had been made to stand under a
dripping roof, their heads tipped back
so they would receive the rain directly
in their eyes. The plan attested the fact
that one of the doubtful individuals
would wink when the descending ele-
ment impinged upon his naked eyeballs,
while the other wouldn't bulge the
breadth of an eyelash. We presume all
cavil ceased in the face of this remark
able explanation.
There used to be well known here a
brace of Judges of prominence in the
earlier history of the State They were
Judge H. and Judge S. Judge II. was
gotten up after the pattern of broom
handle, and Judge s. bore a corporosity
of decided corpulence. One day, when
spending leisure hour together, the
conversation of the two gentlemen turn
ed upon the subject of transmigration of
souls. Judge S., who was most incor-
rigible Joker, remarked: "Judge e.,
do you want me to tell you my opin-
ion of what will become of you if that
doctrine is true?"
81 should be very glad to hear your
opinion" replied Judge H.
"Well, think you will do one or the
other of two things; you will either go
into very small hrmming bird OF else
into a devils darning-needle," suggested
Judge S.
"Since you have been so good as to
give me your opinion of my future
chances" said Judge H.. "I am going to
make free to give you my opinion of
yours"
"Go on" said Judge S.
Il think" observed Judge H., "you
will 60 into one of these big squash
bellied garden toads, and won't have to
change much either"
We give another one from Judge S.
One of the churches of the town was
destitute of pastor. Brother A and B
were speaking together about the matter
of a supply. Judge S. overheard, and
suggested: 81 know where you can get n
minister and have deacon thrown in.
Brother A. who was also something of
a wag, replied "That's nothing; if you
60 down to Andover, where they have a
mill, they'll give you Il minister and
throw in two deacons."
Brother b, more serious man, dis
liking to hear Brother A speak SO lightly,
suggested: "Don't You think, Judge S.,
it would be good thing if Brother A
should go down and go through the mill?"
cit We're no use to try said Judge
S., "he'd go out at the smut"
We will tell just one more story. The
bar-room or Office, of country hotel is
most always Il familiar resort of loungers.
Tho fact was the same years ago, when a
certain landlord, in the north part of the
town, experienced some annoyance from
winter loungers, who sometimes forgot
to close the door after them when they
came in to enjoy the fire. Once wag
came in, and the landlord, observing he
left the door ajar, called out instantly
"Do you know what that door was made
for?" The wag turned, surveyed the
door with a most imperturbable counte-
nance, and answered: "Seventy-fve
cents or dollar.