davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18
Schools Out.

Reader, did you ever pause and con-
template that particular and peculiar |
phase of human nature developed by |
the existent school boy when released |
from study and discipline when
"school is out" and he is on his way
home.
Ordinary humanity, when released
from the tolls of the day, is prone to
seek rest and relaxation. The boy
scorns all such effeminate ideas. He is
composed of but three parts-legs,
arms and yell, and the yell is the
biggest part of him. His legs and arms
have been kept in irksome compulsory
quietude all day, and must now be exer-
cised. His voice has been seething and
swelling in him for hours, and now must
| have vent.
As soon as he is clear of the school
| house steps he stops and deliberately
yells yell that is ear-splitting, but
which has no more object, meaning or
direction than the midnight vocifera-
tion of a mule, and yet it appears at
full run with his arms flying about like
the scintillations of a pin-wheel. He
is no respecter of persons and is utterly
Indifferent as to whether he runs down a
smaller boy, spins an aged citizen three
times around or mashes a girls hat
over her eyes in his headlong career.
Nervous ladies hug the sides of the
houses as he rushes by in drove like a
whirlwind and screams like a steam
whistle.
"Mercy on us! If that boy was only
mine Fd-" but Just then her own boy
flies past, falls over a dry goods box,
) bounces up, kicks at another boy, and is
. chased across the street and around the
r corner before she can get the " You
Roberto with which she intends to
| annihilate him, out of her astonished
throat.
There is but one thing that has the
: slightest soothing effect on the boy wheI
: he is on the way home from school. HI
n can see his old man further than Prof
:. Hall can see a haystack with a telescope
\, and the moment that parent dawns upol
:, his vision he becomes as proper as
n model letter writer, and the neatl
d modulated voice with which h
e wheedles the author of his being out O
:, five cents on the spot, is a lesson fo
t. future ambitious savings bank an
passenger railway presidents.
IS The amount of racing, jumping, pull
,e ing, and hauling and howling that
school-boy can concentrate into transi
,e of two squares is positively astonishing
at and the preternatural GOODNESS an
r. quietude with which he takes his re
le face and painting breath into th
10 kitchen and asks if supper amt mo-
ready is a human conundrum that cal
N for unqualified admiration.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18

WHHoFT'S ToNIC.-UNFAIIING AND IN
FALLIBLE!-This great Chill Tonic cures
Chills without the Intervention of doctors
and their bills. No consulting visits-no pre-
scriptions to be filled-no huge bills, entail
ing pecuniary embarrassments, added to loss
of health. 1t is the friend of the poor man,
because it enables him to earn living, and
of the rich, because it prepares him to enjoy
his wealth. This great boon to mankind is
cheap, safe and prompt. G. R. FINLAY &
Co., Proprietors, New Orleans.
For SALE BY ALL DRUGGISTS.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18

COUNSELLOR DUNNING, thinking to
embarrass a witness having a Bardol-
phian nose, began with, "Now you, Mr..
with copper nose, now you are sworn,
what have you to say?' Why, by the
oath L have sworn" replied he, 81
would not exchange my copper nose for
your braZen face"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18
butIIIIIg VIIIt, N. I.
Sold by JOHN D. PARK & Sons, Cincinnati.

MAKE NO MIsTAKE.-In DooLEY's YEAST
POWDER you get the best article of the kind
in the world. The cans are always full
weight, the article itself the purest anG
strongest possible, so that smaller quantity
than usual sufices. Do you want youl
baking always perfect? Don't fail then tc
use DOoLEY's YEAST POWDER.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18
GleasOn's Publications.

Great reduction in price for 1878 of GLEA-
SONS PICTORIAL to So year. Single copies
cents.
The HOME CIRCLE to 50 a year, single
copies 5 cents, for sale by all newsdealers.
GLEAsoN's MONTHLY COMPANION to 81 a
year, Single copies 10 cents. All postage
free.
The price of Chromos has just been greatly
reduced. No one now gives such liberal
terms to agents as we do. Send for new free
circular Address F. GLEASON & Co., 73s
| Washington Street, Boston, Mass.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18

VISITOR: "Isn't it terrible to think
that the vessel yonder may dash on the
rocks, and every soul on board perishl"
Old Salt: eyes; but isn't it more ter
rible to think that maybe the crews a
working themselves to death, and per-
haps there's not bit O. hacker aboard
the entire craft?"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18
What She Asked Tommy.
IRichmond Enquirer. ]


He was named Thomas and she was
named Jane. They sat on hotel bal
cony yesterday for three long hours and
giving themselves dead away as being
out-of-towners. AS they sat down
Thomas took one of James hands. She
allowed that sort of thing to go on with
out a word of protest, and the faxen-
haired youth finally seized the other
one. They talked and talked, and looked
down upon the street, and sighed, and
the hours slipped away. AT the end of
the third hour she said:
"Tommy, dearest, I want to ask you
something"
"Ask me hundred-a thousand-a
million things!" he exclaimed in reply:
"Well, Tommy, I've got an awful
cold in my head.' she continued; "and
if drew one of my hands away and
wiped my nose, would you think l was
mad? I've either got to do that
Tommy, or let my nose wipe itself
Just one wipe, Tommy, and then you
may have it back"
Tommy released her hand, though he
hated to, and her nose was softly ano
duly wiped.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18
HATcH,s Universal Couch Svrnn :

HATcH's Universal Cough Syrup has be-
come one of the leading cough remedies in
our trade. We have known cases where it
has given relief, where our best medicines
have failed. We warrant it in every case,
and are satisfied that it is one of the best
medicines of its kind.
SHARON, SWIFT & Co,
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18

In st. Joseph, La, there is a bar-room
where none but gentlemen are allowed
to enter" and where "parties desiring to
while away an hour or two in billiards
will hear or see nothing that the most
fastidious could object to.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18

TINE will tell, and time has told that any
mans fool who pays old prices. When
Jones' of Binghampton, Binghampton, N.
freight prepaid, at $50 each; free price list
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18
Honest va. Fraudulent Weight,

The purchaser is entitled to full aceigH al
ways IN buying any commodity. DooLEY's
YEAST POWDER is strictly full weight, be-
side which it is absolutely pure.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18

You'll scratch poor mans nose as long
as you live, if you don't forsake the old
mon, polists. Five Ton Wagon Scales $50
each. On trial, freight prepaid by Jones, of
BinghamtOn, Binghamton, New York.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18

BISMARCK does not like to be bothered
by the crowd. He keeps a corporal and
six feIocious grenadiers to do the mis-
cellaneous hand-shaking.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18

THE Woman's Christian Temperance
Union, of Philadelphia, advertises that
it has opened an Inebriate Asylum for
women of the upper and middle
classes" Are not women of the lower
classes worth being saved by Christian
women?
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18

The New York Mail reports that gem
tlemen's fall suits run heavily on plaids,
some so large as to be mistaken for the
plan of building lots in suburban vii
lage. The trousers are superfluOusly
loose, and the hat worn in connection
with the costume only suitable for a
boy ten years old.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18
Yankee Doodle.

Richard Grant White in Galaxy.l
| will point out that one of its most
humorous and seemingly characteristic
passages is of a date much older not
only than our war of independence, but
than our colonial existence; indeed, if it
could be traced, its origin, like that of
most good things, would be found to be
hidden in the darkness of remote ages. /
refer to this stanza:
"Yankee Doodle come to town
And wore his striped trowsers:
Said he couldn't see the town,
There was so many houses"
In the "Contes du Sieur Galliard," by
Tarbourot d'Accords, is the following
verrois une 81 grande ct belle vile; mais
on Sc mocquoit de moi; car on ne lie peut
YOU cause de la multitude des maisons
qui empechent la veue." That is,
Every one told me that I should see
such a large handsome town; but they
Knocked me for one could not see it be-
cause of the multitude of houses that hid
the view" The Sieur Galliard here is,
as his name indicates, a registering blade,
rather rustic withal. On another pas
sage in this silly so called national
song" / shall venture to remark in pass
ing, because have found that many peo-
pie did not understand it:
| &C Yankee Doodle came to town
| Upon his little pony;
| Stuck feather in his cap,
And called him Macaroni."
So, in "The School for Scandal" Si1
Benjamin Backbite's epigram, Done il
the smack of whip" is:
"Sure never seen two such beautiful ponies,
Other horses Clowns but these macaronis,
| To give them this title Pm sure can't be wrong,
Their legs slim and their tails so long,
A hundred years ago the slang name
for certain sort of fopwas "macaroni.'
He was distinguished chiefly by the
strange way in which he dressed hi
head; one part of his coifure being al
enormous club, braid or tail of hair tha
hung down his back; and he wore feath
ers and other fantastical things in hi
hat, and was generally a very pitiful anc
ridiculous creature, and, Sheridan hints
weak in body as well as in mind.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18

Free. Leisure tOurs.-A splendid I6 page
family literary paper full of Choice Stories, Sketches
Poetry etc, three months with pair of beautiful
6NS Chromos, suitable for framing and adOrnng the
walls of any home free to any sending 10 cents
(stamps taken to pay mailing expenses. The publish
ers, J. L. PATTEN X CO., I62 William Street, New
York guarantee every double rdte of money
sS.llI L IILn1-n, rnr.n
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18

Now that the revictualling season has
passed they spell it Niksich.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18
DR. XlTIn IS PILLS.

Permanently cure chronic constipation and all
the ills that result from want of prope. -Ioos.
They possess tonic, Alternative and cathartF proper
lies and will regulate the bowels when a. other
medicines fail produce appetite and cause the body
% gain. in solid flesh. Sold everywhere. Price
Sc Office 35 Murray St., New York
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18

ponds EXTRACT.
PONDS EXTRACT.
The Peoples Remedy.
The Universal Pain Extractor.
Note: Ask for Ponds Extract.
Take no Other.
ssHear, for will speak of excellent things"
PONDS EXTRACTLThe great Vegeta;bie
years, r = and and tcr CLEANLINESS and prompt curative
oat Pand: ESerae9 e laA ee Br%isss,
bg
Tgsves Ens Of 6Tr9, BID Sores, Bos FePon
Gorns, etc Arrests Inflammation, reduces swell;
ings, stops, bleeding, removes discoloration and
LADIES ind it their best friend 1t assuages the
pota6,v fnness and pressure in the head
nensy g0 heas ssi ali KINDS Of inammations and
Immediate relief and ultimate cure. No case, how
ever chronic obstinate can long resist Its reg-
Itis the only sure s1Ts
| EEnINfx from any cause r OF / 10 epCci'
fic it has saved hundreds of lives when all other
| remeiies failed to arrest bleeding from rose,
| s,omacIl, lungs, ard elsewhere.
| THOTHACHE, Earache, Neuralgia HNC
| Rheuma tism are all alike relieved ana oite
su1fd all schools who
with Ponds Extract recommend It IN the
practice. We have letters OF commendatlon 1ro
hundreds of Physicians many OF whom orGer,
for use in their own practice: IN additlon 70 T.:
| Foregoing they order Its use for SWeiiings OF "A
9b.i9a 5ods 9unsSIss i%pIs and sSfs Chronic
| tarrh for which it is a specifc), ChlibIaImS
Frosted Feet, Stings Of Insects M NJ oSdaa ,Sdra
| fns etc Chapped Hands, Face, anu inuee>
| ali manner of skin diseases
Aoness and Smarting; heals Cuts, Eruption'
| and Pimnies, 1t TeUiUes- lnUfgordtes ana fe
freshes While wonderfully improving the Com
mo opiEFSRWERS-PonTs IS Extract. No Stool
Breeder, Livery Man can aIora 70 pe
Railroads and first Horsemen In New iorS Sd5y S5y
IT has no equal for Spratns Harness or SaaoI
| Cbafnps Stiffness Scratches, Swelnngs, Guts
Iacerations, Bleedings, Pneumonia, conc, Dial
ide and the relief it affords is so prompt that It
inyauabe in every Farm-yard as well as IN ever I
| Farm-house.' Let it be tried once anu you WI
| rATfTION Ponds Extract has been initiated
The Genuine article has the words Pond, EX ~
!. only persons living who ever knew nov tso
:. II Mitch Hazel. This is the only article usea
PHYSICIANS, and in the hospitals OF THIS coun'i
d IaGWGRY a9T Try and Uses of Ponds Extract,
IS HIS S.nnObiet form sent free application TO
i pogNPys gsPyPseEf eEfXTRxCT .StiB COMPANY, 's Made
| lOrk.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18
GRACE'S
.vEcEr.R1E Preparation

Invented in the 18th century by Dr. William Grace,
Surgeon in King James army. Through its agency
he cured thousands OF the most serious sores and
wounds that baffled the skill of the most eminent
physicians of his day. and regarded by all who
knew him public benefactor. 25 cents box. For
Sale by Druggists generally Sent by mail receipt
of price. Prepared by SETH w. FOWLEA SONS
Sc Harrison Avenue Bosom. Mass.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18

CINCINNATI-Flour-Pat Patent, 81 50@s so; fancy,
Sc 5O@7 so; family, sc SO@6 40; spring, s. 75@6 Isl
So 5Oa4. Rye Flour, s. 1904 Is. Grain-Wheat
prime to choice red 81 SO@1 IS; prime to choice hill
and amber 81 2s@1 80; prime to choice white 81 SS
2hm3Sc. Hay nrime to choice timnfhy Sqm1l
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-10-18

o lily-heart. that 'gainst mine own hath lain
Just one short year.
As tiny birdling in its sheltering nest,
Without fear
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-01-12
Slovenly Grammar.

II is impossible to make an angel of
a young lady who persistently uses bad
grammar. No matter how pretty she
may be OF how attractive an outside ap.
pes:ance, all that goes for nausht il she
says, good mornin'," and good eve
nin'." Suppose she. come like the
Queen Of Sheba, with very great
train," and fail to put objectives after
her Propositions, will il not mar
the glory Of her coming? Seriously,
snould woman be called graceful y
who continually y stumbles over her final
coneonants, and says "lemme Ro.n "a
good 'eal, "hrs' rate" "han' me tha,
bIottn' paper? IL. a pleasan. thinr te
hear from your sweetheart, your owr
especial beloved one, that she resolnsely
declined young Phitkin's invitation tc
the theatre, but when the artless mait
half closes her eyes and murmurs, "a.
he came for me in a golden chariot,
shouldn't have went." you don't feel 9,
comfortable. 30 negligently at ease, a
you were before that last remark of Ara
minta's. Women should not deceiv
themselves. The most uncouth, Hitter
ate man knows what elegant and correc
English is when he hears il. He ma
not be able to string three words correct
ly himself; but he shifts the harmony {
a rounded sentence from afar. It is il
stinctive. See how workingmen han
on the lips Of an oratorI or his NEAR
ing they know little or nothing, but th
"energy, number and cadence the
catch, and the harmonious sound pleas,
the ear.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-01-12
A Fish-Catching Spider.

Just before the late war I was at Col.
Oakley Bynum's sp-inx, in Lawrence
county, Alabama, near the town Of
Courtland, where ! saw school of min
nows playing in the sunshine near the
edge Of the water. All at once spider
as large as the end of my finger dropped
down among them from tree hanging
over the spring. The spider seized one
of the minnows near the head. The fish
thus seized was about three inches long
AS soon as it was seized BY its oaptor i,
swan around swiftly In the water, and
frequently dived to the bottom; yet the
spider held on to it. Finally it came to
the top, turned upon its back, and died
1t seemed to have been bitten or wound
cd on the back of the neck, near where
the head joins. When the fish was dead
the spider moved off with it to the shore
The limb of the tree from which tn,
spider must, have fallen was between tel
and fifteen feet above the water. 1t
success shows that il had the judgmen
of a practical engineer Coz. America
| Naturalist.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-01-12
A merry party was gathered rhat sv.

A merry party was gathered that sv-
ening at Mainwsll's house, party con-
sistins of M. and Mrs. Ellsworth,
the young lady acquaintance of the
watering place, and Ned Whitaker
Ned was never in better spirits; nor,
let it be stated, were Mr.. and Mrs. Ellis
worth, who forgave their daughter and
her husband without the least hesita-
tion.
81 say, George" said Ned Whitaker,
whispering in Mainwell's ear, two can
play at that game, cans shsy"
"Yes," said be, after q few moments
Of thoughtfulnsss, land ths experience
has taught me lesson. What fools the
pride of wealth makes Of US all. ]
thought che ought to have taken me re-
gardless Of my circumstances, for my
self alone. And Jet when she tested
me, myself was found wanting. Shall
We ever learn to disregard persons oc
cupation, and look only to the character
and soul?"
Ned shrugged his shoulders dubi
ously.
Il think have learned the lesson,
MAXWELL added.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-01-12
A Medium and q Mystery.
[From the St. Paul D:spatch.l

A week ago last Tuesday Thos. Perry,
a Frenchman, about so years ofags, left
Minneapolis to attend the Indian pony
sale in this city. He had between 5000
and $500 on his person. He evidently
came to this city, for John Lamars says
he saw him here on that day, but at this
poict all information OF his movements
stops. His family, alarmed at his pro-
longed and mysterious absence, were in
duced to call on a medium, and this is
the substance of the information
received: That Perry started from
this city with tall man driving
white horse-two other men riding
in the rear of the vehicle. The party
came to house of doubtful reputation
on the road to Minneapolis, and then
turned off into an unfrequented road
and after reaching an obscure place, the
tall man told Mr.. Perry to get out
and while obeying the order he wa
struck on the head with a club and Pill
ed. The medium described the shir
and outside pocket correctly. and state
that the three men remaining took tn
money and drove away with it. Officer
are engaged in efforts to solve the mys
| terry
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-01-12
Along the Mediterranean.

The French shore of the Msditerran-
cad divides into two distinct parts,
which offer a strange contrast to each
other. From Genoa to Marseilles all is
life and beauty; "all the world" goes
thither for pleasure or health. From
Marseilles TO the coast Of Spain, one
finds everywhere solitude and desola-
tion. The latter region was At one time
highly prosperous, but it has been en-
tirely changed by the immense quantit-
les Of sand and mud brought down by
the rivers. Narbonne, in the time OF
thu Romans, communicated directly
with the sea. 1t had its lagoon like
Venice, and deep canal afforded pass
age to heavy merchant ships and the
triremes of the imperial feet. The la
goon is now blocked up, and the com
merce, wealth, and activity are all gone
Aries was another very important city
it had two ports, like Alexandria, ant
was SO rich and powerful that poet o
the fourth century spoke Of il as tn
Rome of the Gauls." The Rhone, will
its annual seventeen millions of cubi
metres Of sediments, has been its ruin
So with other cities; but while the
have become separated from the Sc,
agriculture is gradually taking posses
sion of the land won from the watel
and the vine and olive may yet restor
part Of the ancient prosperity.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-01-12
The Alleged Hibernation OF Swal-
lows.

A curious but not very we'll autheni-
cated story is given in letter from the
Rev. F. o. Morris, that in some cases
the young of the swallow does not mi
CRATE. His story or rather the story re-
lated to him by his college friend, the
Rev. Harcourt Adham, Vicar Of STROKE
Prior, Worcestershire, but not observed
even by him, but only told to him by a
"person who vouched for il as fact"
was this: That the latter had seen q
pair of swallows, when the time of their
migration came and found thrir brood
too weak to fly, plaster the neat up with
mud with the six young swallows in it
returning to il next spring to rouse
the young swallows, who were none the
worse for their long hiberhAtion.
This is third.hand story, and we are
not even told the ultimate authority foI
it, SO there is no very good evidence
But Mr.. Morris adds evidence from the
book of DR.. Stanly formerly Bishop o.
Norwich), on "The Familiar History o.
| Birds" to the same effect. If this were
true, it would partly justly an old su
perstition that the swallows do not mi
CRATE, but spend the winter in conceal
ment in torpid state. It is at leas
quite conceivable that q creature which
had been hibernator generations ag'
and which had since discovered the pre-
ferabIlity of migration to a warmer eli
mate, should yet be able to return to it
old habits in case of need. Howeve
this story is not much in the way of ev
idence.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-01-12
Don't ScOld.

Please don't; no one ever was. or ever
will be redeemed BY scolding.
Is il al escape valve for tired nerves
and exhausted patience? Doubtless.
Still 1 repeat it, don't scold; recall to
mind the tremulous lips, the sad, fearful
eyes OF your little one, as you scolded
her for her fault-and refrain. She was
ve1ing? True; but no worse than many
another child, no worse than you in
your own childhood; nay, not so bad as
the faults we commit daily, in spite
of our knowledge and experience; how
would we relish continual fault finding
and scolding?
"But she is only child"
Ay, dear mother, because Of that,
thrice sacred in the Kind Fathers eyes,
who bears SO patiently with our own
shortcomings.
Your life is full of labc- and weari
ness, and the constant friction of the do
mestic machinery renders patience diff
cult; but in the coming days, when the
little hands that disarranged your be.
longings, and the little feet which al
ways led their possessor into mischief
have gone from beneath the roof. tree to
meet the frowns and cold shoulders o.
the world; when no longer it is your
province to soothe and counsel, you will
look book with lenvy to the days wheI
each grief was carried to mother" ant
bitterly regret that your love ever failst
them.
Oh, deal gently with the children,
+ pray you; be patient with their errors
and guide them tenderly; for not alway
shall We have those rose leaves of hu
manity to love and care for; not alway
have the guidance of those little fee
! and in the future. if perchance, the fes
, have strayed in forbidden paths, it wi
be the gentle mothers love, and not he
scolding, that will bring them back.