Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1877-01-06

spoon provided to eat the cream with.
was busy with my punch when Harry
Josephs nudged me, and, upon looking
around, / saw both my rural friends
drinking theirs down, direct from the
glass, while their mustaches and boards
were full of ice cream.
This was too much fol, me. was
about hurying them out, when waiter
came along with fried oysters, stuck on
the prongs of forks, for lunch. Ol
course, he intended us to take an oyster
off the fork, and eat it, but my country
friends took different view of the mat
ter, took forks and all, ate the oysters,
and then put the forks in their pockets.
I had to argue with them about five min
utes, before could persuade them to
return the forks to the waiter, as they
pretended to think he intended to pre-
sent them to each customer.
When we left Nash's We took walk
up and down Chestnut street and stepped
into several other saloons. had intend
ed at first to treat only once, but when l
get one glass of whisky in me, I forget
all my prudence, and could not restrain
my iberality The old farmer got quite
jolly, too, and whenever I would ask
him to take drink, he would say:
"Well, I don't care if l do, Jinks.
Them ere punches are sort of good,
amt they? Darn it, there amt no use
coming to town, if we can't see fun"
He repeated this so often, that at last
I thought the rum was getting the best
of him, and he intended to spend little
money himself, SO while we were in n
tavern Mt Broad and Locust streets, where
1 had treated twice, and Gambler once, l
said to the old man:
"Pop, perhaps you would like to treat
little. Gambler and have done our fair
share of it. Well take round with you,
if you say so ?"
The old fellows face turned pale, and
his hands spasmodically clutched his
pockets"
"No, sir, said he, 81 never spend my
money foolishly. It's too hard to get
hold of. I intend to see the whole of
this Centennial, and it shant cost me
ten dollars. If I find there is any ex-
pense attached to it, am going home. :"
I told him not to worry himself, that l
had plenty of money, and would do the
treating. At this, his face frightened.
I wanted to get him drunk. My next
care was to get them in some crowded
theater, where the heat would operate on
the whisky.
Boys" said I, "let us drop into
Kiralfy's. 1t is about time to see the
ballet, guess"
"What is Kiralfy ?" asked the farmer.
1T is handsome theater on Broad
street, where they have lots of pretty
girls on the stage dancing" said I.
"Oh, hor' said he, winling his eye
slyly. "Ive hearn tell of. them places.
Something like the Black Crook, amt it,
where there are lots of legs to be seen ?"
I told him it was something on that
order. The old fellow spruced up at this
and wanted to go there at once.
My influence procured free admission
in the theater for the party, and I i'm
mediate]y hurried them into the crowd.
The ballet was upon the stage, and the
old fellows eyes sparkled as the array of
faultless limbs dazzled him.
"By gracious!" he cried, putting on his
spectacles, to get better look. Isn't
that scrrmptious, Jinks? I wonder if all
of them wimmen are married?'
"Some of them are married." said I,
"and more would like to be"
81 wonder they are not ashamed,
standing up there without any frocks on"
said the farmer. "Don't they catch
cold ?"
7 told him that what he saw was but a
semblance of nature, beneath it was
packed sawdust His jaw rather dropped
at this information, and he heaved deep
sigh.
soon saw that he was getting boozy.
When he was sufficiently stupefied, I
took him in the street again, and then,
while Gandler walked onward with Tom,
1 took charge Of the old fellow, and,
walking him down through Locust street,
where it was dark, 1 managed to put my
hand into his pocket and abstract his
pocketbook, which was fairly bursting
open with bank notes.
Soon after, I put the whole party on
car, and sent them home. Then I re-
turned to the Continental, and counted
my prize. 1t contained about two hun
dred and fifty dollars in notes, besides
smaller change. I hid these safely in
my trunk, and kept my own counsel.
The next morning early, as I was de-
scending the stairs, / met waiter lead
ing GAMBLER and his friends on the search
for me. OF course, they were looking
for the money L told them I had not
seen it. 1 said no doubt somebody had
picked his pockets on his way home in
the cars. This at first he would not be-
heve, but L insisted that he went home
drunk, and there were half a hundred
ways in which he might have lost the
They got no satisfaction out of me,
and left soon afterward. That evening,
about ten o'clock, I met Gambler again
on Chestnut street.
"Jinks, my friend" said he, "I
have got rid of them at last, thank
Heaven p
"Got rid of who ?" l asked.
"Why, my country friends. It's at
least forty dollars in my pocket. As soon
as the old man found his money was
gone, he wanted to leave for home imme-
diately. His wife would liked to have
stayed a day or SO, to have seen the
sights, but he wouldn't listen to remain
ing another hour longer. Heaven bless
the man who stole that pocketbook ~
said Gandler, with pious ejaculation.