The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1877-12-13
That Earthquake.

That Earthquake.
The sensation of men and women in
view of earthquakes are various and Pc
culiar. We hear of Utica gentleman
who entered his house with the aid OF
latch-key about earthquake time on Sun
day morning. He had previously drank
a glass of beer, and he said to himself,
holding fast to the banisters, "Power-
fullest beer ever drank in my life"
"William," called out his wife, Ibid
you fall9 Are you drunk again, Will
liam2"
"N-no," he replied. "Wha's the mat
ter with you? What makes y shake the
bed so9 Got the ager agina"
"William," she returned, with a sob,
"you did fall and you know it. You
made the whole house shake, too. You
woke me out of sound sleep. even
heard the dishes rattle, and it seemed as
if the very bed was going out from under
me. This is the second time, William.
shall write to my ma tomorrow"
"Wish l understood 'stronomy, or
geology, or something" said the perse-
cuted innocent to himself. 81 did take
glass of beer, but l amt so much 'toxi-
Gated that don't know when l am right
side up" He thought seriously for a
moment and then looked startled.
'P'r'aps they mixed it," he said. Mus
be. Seemed to me the house was goin'
around, anyhow"
We draw veil over the scene that fol-
lowed. There are some discussions toe
sacred for the public ear, and an angry
woman in a night-dress is something
too appalling for the public eye.
To the clear conscience even earth
Quakes are not frightful, however. When
the editor of the Amsterdam Recorder
was awakened by the shock he rose up
in his bed and called out in clear voice,
Gabriel, is that yous" The shock
passed off, but not wave of his raven
locks was disturbed. IL say" he called
out absently, "come in" The silence
was oppressive. 81 pass" he remark ed
sleepily after a moment; adding as he
rolled over, 1.-TWO dollars in advance;
two and half at the end of the year."
When Allen G. Beach arose to the sit
uation the scene was far different. cit is
an omen of defeat" he shrieked, throw
ing off the clothes and jumping violently
out of bed. II hear the host of virtue
and reform marching down upon me! 1t
is the destruction of the Democratic
Pharoah. 1t is the tramp of the Assyr-
ians. 1t is the army of the Union in
search of sour apple tree. What no!
Bring me horse. Better still, send for
hack shall get out of this. shall
go so far that my name shall be strange
to all the surrounding country; and,
HIM! l won't charge the State a cent for
mileage"
To the young and innocent there is
necessarily nothing excessively dreadful
in these things. They do not understand
them. "What makes you tremble so,
Matilda9" inquired youth who was sit
ting alone with the young lady men
toned, the old folks having gone to bed.
you are not afraid, l hopeg"
II wasn't trembling, Charles" she
replied. 81 thought you were. Why,
this is very singular. l think the build
ing is shaking. And listen. There are
burglars in the house, Charles. hear
them in the next room. Oh, what shall
we do9 Why didn't we keep the light
burning2"
Hush" he said, as one having au-
thority. mot word. Sit up closer,
Matilda. Let US not go searching after
danger. Let it come if it will. Closer
yet. Hang on to me, Matilda, and all
will be we'll. Or, if we must perish,
let US be brave and perish together"
Phoebe Couzzins was perhaps the most
stoical of the many who were rudely
awakened on this momentous occasion.
Gentlemen" she said, starting up in
bed and sleepily searching around in
vain for the help which, alas ! is not hers,
my client is innocent. The horse was
stolen by an entirely different person. l
allude, gentlemen of the jury, Toto
what's that2" The house was violently
shaken, and she added, with firm voice,
"Barkis is willin' and at the same time,
gentlemen of the jury, am not afraid"
The shock died away and she resumed
her pillow with calm confidence, merely
remarking to herself as she dropped
asleep, i've heard enough about that
Colorado election. Now .op"-ROohes-
ter Democrat.
A DUCKING STOOL.-In the crypt of
Warwick Church, the mighty ribbed
arches of which spring from one enor-
mona MAR thora ia an article uh;cb h a q