The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1877-06-01
THE DEMOCRATS DISPATCHES.


The DEMOCRAT has developed a very pretty
talent for manufacturing dspecals to the
New Orleans DEMOCRAT" from Associated
Press dispatches-[N. o. Picayune.
The DEMOCRAT seems to have been
the innocent cause OF an intense
excite ment yesterday in the offices
OF the Picayune and Times and
OF a disastrous collision between the
managers Of those two enterprising
sheets. Yesterday morning, when those
two greet men entered their offices and
picked up the DEMOCRAT, they both
turned white, then red and then blue.
Their noble breasts swelled and their
keen eyes glared with astonishments 1t
their hair did not stand out like thequills
Of the fretful porcupine. CONSERVATION
spread throughout the offices OF both
papers, from thefpress rooms to the
attics. HIFor months the Picayusoe and
Times had had monopoly Of tele-
graphic news; they had refused
to admit the DEMOCRAT to the
privileges of the Associated Press.
These two great journals were running
on "their merits. you know, and 80 they
kept a monopoly OF the only merit they
had-the press dispatches. Eagerly but
confidently they waited to sec the
DEMOCRAT snuffed out for the want of
Geographic news. And thus 1t was that
yesterday morning, when the two great
managers picked up the DEMOCRAT and
found its columns filled with all the
latest Geographic news from all parts
of the world, they were astounded
and excited. Nicholson grinned and
squirmed, and Kissed out, treach-
eryl" Judson grinned and squirmed,
and Kissed, treacheryl" Each
supposed the other had sold out
to the DEMOCRAT - broken the noble
combination of INERT" and given
to the DEMOCRAT the dispatches.
Anger inflamed the noble breast
Of each, and aroused in each the
spirit of revenge. Nicholson started for
Judson, and Judson started for Niehol-
son, each with copy Of the DEMOCRAT
waving in his hand like a battle. flag.
They met midway between the two Off
ces. Blind with anger and excitement,
they collided, and instantly legs, heads,
copies OF the DEMOCRAT, coat tails, hats,
heels, damnings Of the DEMOCRAT; "You
sold out :" "You are traitor; :" ''See, the
id paper has got the dispatches"
were mingled and intermingled in one
extraordinary and unintelligible mess.
Multitudes gathered in the neighbour
hood; the newsboys danced around
and stood on their heads; the apple
women on the corners were startled by
the excitement, and stood on tiptoe, and
for time all business on the surround
ing squares was suspended. At this
stage Of the excitement our reporter
from the scene.
Whether the manager of the Plea
yu,ae is yet satisfied that the manager
Of the Times has not sold the dispatches
to the DEMOCRAT, or Uice uersa, we are
not informed and, indeed, we do not
care. OF this, however, they may both
rest assured, that the DEMOCRAT has
made it's arrangement for dispatches of
its own outside Of the press association
that It's arrangements are fair, honorable
and manly, and will keep its readers
supplied with all the latest news by
telegraph from ali parts Of the world
and this, we fear, Is the most disagreed
BILE piece OF news those two great jour-
nails, both with the largest circulation
In the Southwest and both running on
their merits" have heard in a long
time.
And now we advise the managers of
,hese two journals to reconcile them
selves to the inevitable. A cold bath,
! few doses Of Mrs. Winslow's Soothing
syrup, sticking plasters on their backs,
with gentle purgative, may relieve
hem.