The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1877-05-17

DaQ luea 10 nave small elec1lC D0ttery
connected with strip of zinc fastened on
the doorstep. By such an arrangement,
book agents, soap peddlers and hucksters
could BE disposed Of cffectually and with
out any annoyance.-Baltim0re American.
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
"A read organ-the eye.-IAiladelphia
Bulletin.
The uses of cavalry are hew- man.
itarian. Worcester Prsss.
eg The Turks are suffering considerably
from acute Roumaniatism.
The slowest letter in the naval alpha
bet seems to be the torpid-o.
Every man with flour on his hands
made money by the recent rise, except
the baker.
strawberry shortcake is now begin
ming to assume the form of organized
protoplasm. Are you all ready?
. The boy who has never sat down on
humble bee, Or stepped on rusty nail,
has not fulfilled his mission.
"A young lady says /" If cart wheel
has nine felloes attached to it. it's pity
that girl like me can't have oner'
Nothing in this bleak world is easier
to start and harder to stand than boil or
daily paper Burlington wk-Eye
-" My son, remember that your char
acter ought to shine brighter than your
boots" Suppose I blacken it, then,
father !'
There is place in Connecticut known
as g Patchoque." The name was sneezed
up by the first inhabitant during aspiring
influenza.
One Washington newspaper advises
another to get Bullock press, SO as to run
off its edition in minute and half and
save time.
Any boy can have just as much fun
around bonfire made of an old straw-bed
as any man can have in seeing hotel
burn down.
The dandelion isn't muchof a flower,
but it has its mission. 1t comes Just at
the time everybody IS signing TO see some
thing yaller.
The only drawback to fortune -tellers
getting rich in quick time is the fact that
only one fool out of twenty has any money.
Detroit Free Press.
Thus far the terrific fighting between
the Turks and the Russians has been at
tended with very light Karsualties.-
burlington Hawk-Eys.
-" Our children will have immense tax
on their hands," said gentleman. "Oh,
horrible!' exclaimed an elderly lady.
s What blessing we have nails on oursP'
-. Crows, like cats, seem to have
grim sense of humor. Wallace on De-
pelopment. Everybody had noticed it;
crows and cats are inclined to carrion. IN.
7. Graphic.
-" john" asked doctor of the apoth-
ecary's boy, stdid Mrs Green get the med
icine l ordered7'' 81 guess so," replied
John, for saw Grape on the door, knob
this morning"
Editing q paper is like carrying an
umbrella on a windy day. Everybody
thinks he could manage it better than the
one who has hold of the handle.-New
York Independent.
-Brains may be better than riches, but
it comes mighty handy to have nickel to
pay ones fare on the street car. It's bet
ter than having brains and going afoot.-
Detroit Free Press.
"A downtown man who went to church
last Sunday, remarked afterward that he
preferred the organ to the preacher. He
said there seemed to be a stop 10 the organ.
-Nofsoich Bulletin.
20 Well, if this isn't mean!'' said an
indignant pickpocket. Here's this fel-
Ter a-goin, about with this 'ere yaller
chain, and when pulls it out there amt
no watch on the end Of it,
4 AN insurance agent was subject to
spectrum analysis, the other day, and the
brass lines so completely flied the spec
trum from end to end and overlaid the
others, that the finer elements of his COM
position could not be at all detected, save
the suggestion of diamond sparkle from
the shirt bosom section.
"A married lady, alluding in conver-
sation to the Ash Psalm. observed that
while young men and maidens, old men
and children" were expressly mentioned,
not word was said abUutmarried women.
Arnold clergyman whom she was address
ing assured her they had not been omitted,
and that she would find them included in
one of the preceding verses, under the de-
scriptisn Of vapors and storms.
There is an evil fashion Of speech
and theory, that mans love for a woman
lasts better, is stronger, If he never be
wholly assured Of hers for him. This is
q base and shallow theory. Nothing un-
der Heaven can so touch, SO hold, so make
eternally sure, the tenderness, the loyalty,
the passion OF Q manly man as the con-
sci01sness in every bone, in every act of
life. that the woman he has chosen for his
wife lives for him, and in him, utterly
and absorbingly. .-Sd&s Holm.