Smyrna times., 1877-09-05
Adam as a Bachelor.

only human being in this wide, wide
world-a full grown man at his birth, with
no one to grant him certificate thereof,
nor to furnish him with evidence that he
was ever born at all lie never experien-
ced any of the perls of infancy and child
hood-such as the cutting of teeth, measles
and chicken-pox-without which no young
mans education is complete. Adam was
the only young man who never had
grandmother to mend his pants, to knit
his mittens, and to stand between him and
all harm. He never played the great and
exhilraating game of base ball, and he
never submitted to the indignity of having
u chip knocked off his shoulder by another
boy. No he had none of the essentials
that 60 toward making up the average boy
of the present day. lie found himself
born Somehow full-grown man, bache-
lor-with no chum in the whole universe
with whom to converse upon the in
terminable topic, the weather; no one to
love; none to caress; no one to sew but
tons on his shirt; no one to lend him a
helping hand. There he was-the keeper
Of large geological garden, with no door
keeper to take the tickets and no one to
come to the show. Like all bachelors, he
seemed to be a mistake; and this quality
of mistake has been so severely transmitted
through the long ages that have intervened,
without let or hindrance, that it has
become fixed fact, as unalterablc as Per-
sian law. He becomes fidgety, queer,
notiOnal, and out Of order generally.
Adam had, in all probability, begun to
manifest some Of these peculiar character
istics, and was himself convinced that there
was something more necessary to his hap
piness; but he had not the brains to in.
vent, nor the ingenuity to devise anything
himself. Adam evidently was not happy
man in his estate of single blessedness !;
and the Divine Being, ever anxious for the
welfare of his creatures, saw that it was not
good for him to be alone, and gave him
what every full-grown man needs, viz,
some one to talk to, to argue with, to love
and cherish, and, if everything don't 20
right generally, to Ego for" to lay part of
the blame upon.
Did you ever contemplate the poverty OF
Adam when he took Eve for better or for
hat to his head, a coat to his back, a pair
of shoes to his feet, nor 'nary red cent" in
his trousers pocket. Eve brought nc
dowry. She had nothing to bestow save
love and affection; and as he was the only
young man around, it was him or nobody
Equally as poor as her husband, she came
to him without bonnet or a shawl, {
calico gown, or even pair of slippers
Moses forgot, in his "reminiscences, to give
an account Of their wedding trip; but from
, what we can gather in regard to the ward
robes of that day, their baggage would
have proved no incumbrance--a very
limited amount suficed, and dressing t.
, please everybody was of no account, 70
there was none but themselves to please
/ Doubtless their whole outfit of travelling
dresses, waterproofs, busters, lunch basket
, and all, he could have carried in the pocket
) of his trousers. They must have startet
housek eeping, also, upon as small capita
as could well be imagined. They hadn't
. as far as can be cleaned from history,
hair. brush, a fine tooth comb a towel, no
, soap; no bitters, soothing syrups, clothes
| wringers, no smoothing irons-no nothing
e Adam wasn't afraid to invite his wife to g
. on an excursion with him for fear {
G having to 60 down deep into his trousel
i pocket for the wherewith to buy a suitabI
g outft-for the reason that he had n
!. trousers; nor did he swear at baggage
smashers, nor brook the insolence of raj
i road officials. There was no good an
+ sufficient reason why they shouldn't hav
l. been an amiable couple, and have a goo
time generally. They washed their clothC
doubtless, by a dive into the Euphrate,
n and, there being no clothes-line, the
e clothes were allowed to dry upon the
/. backs. And Adam didn't care rus
e whether his shirt bosom was smooth or no
s. and why should Eve bother her head abol
It it so long as he was suited ?-Sunday GloJ
# "The stately step of piper" is a pr
verb in Scotland which reminds one of O
= anecdote Of q certain noble lord when
j, attendance upon the Queen at Balmoral,
% few years ago. Having been commissions
N by a friend to procure a performer on Il
: pipes, he applied to Her Majesty's piper,
- fine stalwart Highlandman; and, on beil
" asked what kind of performer was require
n his lordship said, in reply, "Just su,