The Hickman courier., 1877-07-20
PHUNNYISIIS.

The green peach wakes up and
scratches its head, turns over, ripest side
out, and gets down off the tree to stand
swestly and lnnocently in the path of
the little boy whom the gods love.
"A man made bet that he could
ride fly wheel in a saw mill, and as his
widow paid the bet, she remarked:
% William was kind husband, but he
didn't know much about fly wheels"
My hotel is perfectly safe," says
Richmond landlord. Wires run from
every window sill to the roof of the
building opposite, and balancing poles
can be had upon application at the of
fee"
1t doesn't do bit of good to go to
picnic and stand on the river bank and
admire the gorgeous sunset, and talk
about the tender beauties of nature, to a
man who hast just sat down on Gus
tard pie.
An Irishman who had just landed,
said: The frst bit of mate ever ate
in this country was rossted potato
boiled yesterday; and if you don't be-
lieve me, can show it to We, for have
it in me pocket"
Can't yer giver feller lift" re-
marked a red nosed tramp, poking his
head in the door Of country store.
"Well, I reckon 1 can, answered the
proprietor, as he lifted him about ten
feet with the end of his boot.
A town in western Nebraska con-
tains eighteen families, has had nineteen
burglaries since April. In the last bur
glary the man who was burgled got back
all his own things, and the citizens have
tacitly agreed to preserve their statu
quo.
When a small boy with a prejudice
against yellow dogs observes an old oys-
ter can in a condition of inactivity he at
once begins debating the question
whether it was created to point moral
or adorn tail The dog gets the first
news of the decision.
A great deal of disappointment is
felt by Rome dealers because the Turks
and Russians do not eat more -four. Not
much fighting is going on, and it would
be no more than neighborly for the war
rio1s to eat an extra meal now ard then,
and give lift to their friends on this side
of the water.
Sportsman" Doyou know the name
of those ruins my good man?' Pat
"Av coorse I do, yer amer" Sports
man" But could you tell u.s. Pat
" Could I tell yez? Av coorse l could"
Both portsmen-'sW Why don't you,
then?' Pat" Why don't L? Sure ye
havn't axed me; and 'tisn't base in
former yer amer takes me for, to expect
voluntary information ~
A prospective father-in-law makes
inquiries concnrning his prospective SON
in-law of friend. The replies are of the
most satisfactory character, till the friend
says frankly: ''Still must admit that
he has one grand defect" What is
that? Does he play the accordeonP'
He does not know anything about
gambling" Why, that is not defect, it
is a virtue "Yes, but you see-he
CANDLES all the same"
An old farmer travelling on a arailroad
happened to look out of the window just
as they were passing a river, when his
hat was blown over the bridge and car
ried away by the stream. "Is it very
) singular" said he to a gentleman whC
, was sitting beside him, that my ha
, took that direction - q Not at all sir,
l replied the latter, cit is perfectly nat
/ ursl that a beaver should take to tn,
2 water"
When dog sits up in the back yarc
and howls all night, it convinces the
most unprejudicied mind that he is no
= ofkilling sheep. There's a general feel
ing in the community, however, tha
j sheep should be kept around here
About four miles of, that is. The kline
of sheep that attract dogs There is NJ
moral grandeur about this feeling, bu
some of the most sonorous chords in tn,
human heart respond to it.