The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-12-20

PASSING SMILES.
CURIOSITY about trifes is a mark of a

CURIOSITY about trifes is mark of
| little mind.
Loss of faith is even one of the sad
dest results of sin.-tHarthorne.
The more perfect we are, the more
gentle and quiet we become toward the
| defects of others.
IHE excesses of our youth are drafts
| upon our old age, payable with interest,
| about thirty years after date.
DEXTER Smiths: Why is travelling
salesman like bee? One travels sell
his store and the other to store his cell.
DoN CAMERON, according to a CORES
pondent, has a bronze mustache and a
steel-blue eye. He must be a man of
mettle.
HAVE the courage to speak to friend
in g seedy coat, even though you are
in company with rich one, and richly
attired.
THE manner of vulgar man has free
dom without ease, and the manner of
gentleman has ease without freedom
Chesterfield.
WHY should we live in luxury whenwe
see SO many poor families around us who
are struggling to get through the winter
with only one dog?
PROBABLY one of the most trying
times in mans life is when he intro
duces his second wife-seventeen years
old-to his eldest daughter, who is past
twenty.
PHILADELPHIA Bulletin: The Graphic
walls that Yet no bank president has
been hung" Be comforted, our brother!
For already many swindler bank has
been suspended.
WHEN a woman comes to the door
and calls after her husband,
" RE-Ep'-fnishing the last sylla-
BILE in capital letters-you may know
that she is not in capital humor.
FIRST SCoT-"Fat sort O. minister
hae We gotten, Geordie?' Second Ditto
ooh, weel, he's no muckle worth. We
seldom get CLINT O. him. Sax days O.
tn week he's enveesible, and on the
seventh he's encomprehensible!"
THE BEAUTIFUL GATE.
1t is fair tradition, of old,
That at the gate of Heaven called Beautiful,
The souls of those to whom we ministered
On earth shall greet u.s. as we enter in,
With grateful records of those lowly deeds
OF Christian charity, wherewith frail man
Proffers his humble loan unto the Lord
Oh. think, If this be true how many eyes,
whose weeping thou has stlled, shall gliSten there;
How many hearts, whose burden thou hast shared,
And heavy feet, whose steps were turned by thee
Back to their homes elastic through the joy
OF new found hope, and sympathy, and love,
Shall welcome thee within the gates of bliss
The golden city of Jerusalem.
CHE took two drops of thought and
beat them into bushel of bubbles"
was the description given of a speaker
whose rhetoric ran ahead of his logic
Rowland Hill said of some in his day
that "they had river of words, with
only spoonful of thought"
A ROCHESTER, milkman lost two lady
customers because a newspaper charged
him with putting aqua purG in his milk.
They said they had all they could do to
stand the water he put in, but now that
he was caught adding that nasty drug,
they wanted no more of his milk in
theirs.
AT the close of the sittings in the Illi-
nois House of Representatives, the clerk
read the following: 81 am requested to
announce that the Rev. Doctor McFar-
land will deliver lecture this evening
in the hall on the Education of Idiots
Members of the Legislature invited to
attend"
PATRICK =" Dennis, did you hear the
thunder in the night" Dennis" No,
Pat; did it really thunder?" Patrick
Yes; it thundered as if hiven and
earth would come together" Dennis
Why the deuce, then, didn't We wake
me, for ye know l can't slape when it
thunders."
COLONEL EDMUND RICE, the inventor
of the trowel bayonet, has been giving
some illustrations of the efficacy of his
invention before the Russian officers in
Bulgaria. He constructed in three min
utes rife pit large enough 10 shelter
one man, and several staff officers used
the weapon with equally satisfactory re-
suits. This invention has for some time
been used in the United States army in
the Indian campaigns.
THE distinguished Earl of Chatham
said to his son: ~ would have inscribed
on the curtains of your bed, and the
walls of your chamber, If you do not
rise early, you can never make progress
in anything. If you do not set apart
your hours of reading, if you suffer
yourself, or any one else, to break in up
on them, your days will slip through
your hands improbable and frivolous,
and really unenjoyed by YOURSELF
A MAN from Boston would not confess
astenishment at anything he saw in
Nevada. As he was passing hotel in
Virginia City the cap blew from one of
the chimneys. 1t was circular piece of
sheet iron, painted black, slightly con-
vex, and the four supports were like legs.
The wind carried it down street, and it
went straddling along like a living
thing. The Boston man asked what it
was "A bedbug from the hotel, was
the reply. "By George, l never saw
anything like that" he began, and then
added, "outside of Boston"
WHO are blessed? The man who
minds his own business; the woman who
never says to her husband, " told you
so;" the man who can sew on his buttons
when the baby is crying; the mother-in-
law who never reminds you that you mar
ried above your station the old men that
don't hate old people and children; the
old bachelor that don't hate cats and
pincushions; the married people that
don't wish they were single; the single
people that are content to remain so /;
the husband who never says his mother $
pies were better than his wife's.
Lively Times in Sleeping Car.
A sleeping-car incident more sem
sationa1 than of which Theodore Tilton
was the hero, occurred near New Orleans
few days ago. Aman named Lee be
came frantically jealous because his wife
innocently asked the conductor of the
car for glass of water, struck her in the
! face, threatened to shoot her and then
started after the unlucky conductor, who
: had gone into forward car, with the
! avowed intention of killing him at sight.
AS soon as he got outside the door he
turned and fred three shots through the
window down the aisle, one bullet pass
5 ing through woman's dress, but harm.