The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1877-04-13
"----2 by ?,
Like the eliint and The kanperoO ,

Twinses is like the pistums or the
waikin beam Nv a steambote-when yeu
lays one down you takes the uther one
up, and when they both opens thar skape-
pipes and squalls at the same time, why
lettin off sUeme is Quaker meetin to it.
F F'yar well, 'vane wonP, Pm a gwine
home. No you ain't--you're gwine to
ten to them twinses, ten to nuthin but
them if you don't want the hOus to cum
down and plezant item you'll hav NV
it. You may talk to me bout Gypc M
bondige, but a muther at ded NV nIUe
wrastlin with two bawlin, squallin
rhinestone holrin to see if his holrin
amt louder hOlrin than the holrin NV
the uther one holrin-a mother endurin
Nv that bondige 'sturs my sympathies
morn the Gypchuns and Izralites COM
bined.
A quare thing is that the man gifts all
the kredit fur twinses, while the woman,
that has ten thousun items a heap the
hardest item, don't git nun. Folks is in
klined to blame her and tell her "no mo
NV that, now." But the man puts on
his hat and walks 4th with a ar NV
modest pride, like the man that chawed
the hons Off'n a steer fur a bet. "
don't take no kredit fur this" he kinder
seems to say, 1 RELY don't, but still [
want to git the credit all the same.
'Taint everybody has twinses, and then
is umhil bout it like me-" And they
tell me thar is wimmin that actilly is
envus and jelius Nv wimmin that has
twinses, and wood fain git the resipe if
thar was one. Well, thar childun that
brags bout bein sicker than uther chill
dun, and its twisted sort of a worP we
live in enyway. 1 don't enderstan it no
way-nor L don't ever hope to. 1t gifts
me-got me long ago.
The last obzurvashun l got to make
bout twinses ar this: They kin do
more kryin to the mint and kiver a
square inch quicker and thicker with
bawl and squawl than any luther livin
thing except a Linchburg ockshuneer Nv
lugs.
There few remox is drord 4th by
Meekins. Wv all and Nv all-but Pm
cumin to that dreckly. Peter Meekins
my naber-our back lots jines. He is
the wevil-eatiness man / know. SunIthin
is always the matter with his durn tung,
and fIOm gum-biles to corns thar amt
nuthin that he don't hav and keep on
havin it. Dispepsy is his stanby, and
when he aint got that he fills up the
chinx with dipthery. He can't barley
walk, becoz he's got the furtogO. Things
won't gee with him so he is always in a
state NV wo. Wv all and NV all. He
takes melunkoly vew. This worP
looks to him like mixter NV misery,
bluein and lamp black. Wv all humins
| kinnot understan it. Thar ain mon
enuf Nv him to make a do-mat, he is
very shucky and shsky, and is fraziIed
out at his edgis into sumthin that ansers
az he'd, arms, and legs. Now NV all and
NV all humin beins who should hav
twinses but this same Meekins It's
fac, by gum and it Jest knot me down
you know. | amt fetch breth good since
| heard it.
My wife must have told me, but my
mind hav bin so ockqupide with politix
that disremembered it till the uther day
when / met him On the strete. He were
very sadd. His chin wiggled and his
nose wobbled, he wer So very sadd.
I'm the name of mizry," Gays, l,
" Meekins, what's the matter ?'
"Ahp he says, groanin. and the water
gethered in his eyes.
"How is your dIotted tung, nowp l
'''Taint that" says he, and the teers
cum a rollin down his holler cheek, and
his nose trimbled.
"Tell me, tell me quick" says; al
feel so sorry fur you, and want to do
sumthin fur you rite away"
"Well," he says, in a vols that went
to my very hart, - were--I were teok
down with the twinses bout 8 month
ago, and bin very 10 ever since"
What p' 1 Exclaimed, ''yo? NV all
and NV all, you got twinses2 Civ NE
yO' hanl" and 1 grabbed him to kon-
gratulate him.
But | heerd sumthin like krokry
crackin inside NV him, and feerin he wood
cum to peeces in my han let him go.
Yes" he says, they has lit down
upon me in my ole age and they is hevy."
And he weept.
"Well, well, well!" 1 says, "uv all
and NV all-this beats bobtail. Gearls, NV
cerse?"
"No," he sys, sorrerful, 1.-TWO NV as
fine boy a. yer swOllered catnip."
"And you cryin bout tbat?" says I.
1.-TWO nu@ts," he says, "two kribs,
4 furo