The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1877-02-02
Fun and Sentiment.

-Ou, leu me De laWIul.
SOCIETY journals mention that bridal
trips are becoming questionable.
In Brazil diamonds are found on noun
tains 5000 feet above the sea. This is
what makes them so high.
AN Alabama baby of negro parentage
and the other half black. Count him in.
WHAT is the difference between the
death of barber and a sculptor? One
curls up and dyes and the other makes
faces and busts.
In carving turkey in the presence of
strangers it is breach of etiquette to
stop more than twice to spit on your
hands and get new holo.
GEN. SHERMAN is credited with saying
that hereafter new course would be
pursued with the Indians. Why not
pursue The Indians themselves.
A CORRESPONDENT entered an Office,
and accused the compositor of not having
punctuated his communication, when
the typo earnestly replied, I'm not a
pointer; I'm a setter"
AN itinerant bookseller called at a
house in Pennsylvania, and after show
ing several works unsuccessfully, said !:
Here, sir, is Bible first rate book !;
full of useful information"
A coUNTRYMAN going down town with
load of pork was met by young girl,
who genteely made him very low cour-
tesy. He exclaimed: "What do you
make a courtesy to dead hogs?" "No,
SIR" answered She to the live one"
TAKING cigar out of his mouth, the
minister said to one of his pensioners,
fond of sleeping in sermon time: 'There
is no sleeping car ON the road to Heaven"
"And no smoking ear, either, reckon"
said the man, in reply, now wide awake.
CT DON'T see how you can have been
to work all day like horse" exclaimed
the wife of a lawyer, her husband hav
ing declared he had been thus working.
"Well, my DEAR" he replied, 1--WE been
drawing conveyance all day, anyhow"
A NEGRO held COW while across-eyed
man was to knock her on the head with
an AK. The darkey. observing the mans
eyes, in some alarm inquired, "You
gwine to hit whar you look?" eyes"
Den" said Cuffee, hold dis COW your
self"
LET Turks delight to howl and fight,
for tbs their nature to; let Bear and Lion
growl and bite, for madness made them
so. But Yankees, you should never let
your angry passions rise; don't quarrel;
trade, work hard, lie low, and forward
supplies.
THIS Louisiana business is perverting
the morals and humanity of the nation.
A city cat last week returned a count of
seven kittens, and then the lady of the
house assumed ministerial and clerical
powers, and threw six of them out into
the sewer.
Mrs. PARTINGToN (looitur) &c But
there! The japanese department-Ii in
fected it thoroughly. 1t suppressed my
highest celebrations. Sich armistic brick
brick Sich fans of uni-q designs .
Sich vases and gardeners Sich rair ar
ticles of virtue! 1t beggars deception!'
Ii was the room of sick wife. Life
was at its lowest ebb. She had been 81
lent and still for nearly an hour. Sud
denly smile of inetfable content beamed
from her pale features, and turning to
her husband, who stood by weeping, she
whispered: 80, my darling, do hope
that when | am gone my new cardinal
stockings will fit my sister Ann"
SHE was fond of conundrums. and
when she learned that muller was Latin
for woman sh. thought she had good
one. So she asked her husband what
was the difference between herself and a
mule. And as he had been married sew
eral years, he was too thoughtful to trou-
BILE her by guessing, but kindly remarked
that he had never been able to see any.
''HAvB you any rebutting testimony
to offer, Patrick?" asked the Justice of a
prisoner arraigned for goat-killing. Pat
scratched his head new light seemed
to dawn on him. Rebutting, is it?
Shure an that's just what's the matter,
Yer Honor the bloody basic butted me
till dlvll a stitch of safe wuz left on me
breeches, yer honor, and that's why I'm
here to-day" Pat was acquitted.
In the hard drinking days an old
Scotch laird and his eldest son were
riding home together from a hospitable
gathering. Their ride for while was
silent, but at last the son said: Fey
Their, wish we was deid." The old man
rather sadly replied: "Well, laddie. l
haze often thought that of my feyther.
but | never haze the impudence to
sayt."
Two OF the "old boys" comfortably
circumstanced and accustomed to in
dulge in from ten to twenty drinks per
day, were day or two ago Watching a
man who was squeezing lime-juice into