davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1877-08-21
PILES. Remorrhoids.
pILON.

Many causes tend to produce thta pain
fut and distressihJ state. Tho blood Is
retarded In its return; the too frequent
ees s SSs , ,sSs % ass 1S%" Sf
the ltper, and numerous other causes are
the source Of this c0MpL0tsat, aud hitherto
nothing, efectmdt has been presented 10
symptoms and ultimately provo an eject
dec cure. In PILON g0 haze a remedy
,rhtch not only acts almost Instantly, but
sciLi remcvc tho largest tumors Of the parts
haso aec 81 % %os pS@it ssss, S ms hS "s
been radically cured, haro been assured
(prior to using thts trcatDcnt) by emit
,ient surgeons That Tho only. rclieI they
operation, aud remfcctnO 10 or then. iron,
Tie body BY a grocedmro tv! ich .necessftat-
ed tho Knife. THIS remedy has been halted
'rith delight, and ~ mop prescribed Nv
sure cure for PILES. WV ''o ''"'""
r sc tfftv Cents per package, or sio
Io' "S'oV' ., @
,,, TRIP ,A1OyD REMEDIEs ARH
cut and Hdrious, nta!adies dcnsn,inoted,
md are tho result Of patient, searching,
iaborions. md scienfiRc tsrestigdtion,
InM "yonc "a |" pe ROD. or many gears 80
.H The specific directions arc complied
"ih, thomsonds Of patiemts Wiit bear Ti:-
mess 70 Their reIdnyo merits, ard eorrob.
ornto oeory assertion. Where there arc
ticn,s so desire, DR.. CMISDtSR al!
Dc pleased to give 0W Information, dn@
treat hC ~ letter msees:ary: ,,..., c,..,
e re- aIgg0 a., ss"' SisEsosfi II. r.
particular aTusCiss's, send orders to
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1877-08-21
Books and Pamphlets.

NEW TYPE TRE MOST IMPROVED NACHINERY GOOD
hO"hNhN ant Careful PoJ Renders insure those this
c"s Of '@E ~" An handsome anil CORRECT BooLs Pphs Stock
o""'g"e Sc0o Cotnig@ ByLacs Ordinances Rporh of Medical
Hc"c or En@eo'" SoceN &c., cossi:nn r
frsnclrse ~orl
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1877-08-21
Commercial Printing.
Railroad Printing.

For @ s@@ Doh especially ~eu prord and ddg
" g e~"H Of II, ard hor employ of lang experience rail-
T"a" p7sers ne ran fin M ordrs ioroy description Of
Railroad Blanks CT Blank B,oss, Time Cards Freight or
Passenger Tariffs, Posters and Bulo.in Cards,
/" 19, "y"g /" tbs line repaired by Radon2 0ln,a A' cry
S"''R ""' ant at as 'o' rites rs my horse IN Mc ".h
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1877-08-21
Special Features for 1877
b III, liOrgoja If L,sais =

by Hroi2o Macdonald, authorot ..Malgom.u
ALEC torbe7,' "HobeTt iNlcourr." etc.
10 those Of our rcgicgs VITO are familiar
with "M7Icolm,' Iris new stay from
the pen VI Thu Distinguished writer Sill
need ~ recommendation and his reputa.
ton - 4 guarantee TO other, VI ueepIy in
tereNlInS and powerful story. /, begin In
the November number, With Issue, with
the December part, viii be furnished gratis
10 all rev Subscribers for lS,1.
.. Pr0tgscy illustrated -rrlr, OF
sketches Of
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1877-08-21
Nns~h@ S,rDsl.l mint LE.

'.' ~ ''' q "'' fN''.
b. Prot Willard H.la.af ,or.u Vp,r.r.
Ntj VII" '1,t0E2hi. hwi'Mr~ill ~welcn
ana rs fr"p'e from pef-oa"oh-"r,sliol.
d a '"'I"s"i pop iarr,tng. On
Arlu,% .llt ilai,r..
by td"ad ,'r,hal gu sIlrn.. author Of,
9TH" N-w iiyprnGu.' ,jr.
J. iIi"''IaIedaHct.h,soI irayrL entitled
Picture jroo. Spun,
by dward h.aH author Of "The Great
south, etc
3, Mrs Lucy II. Hooper', Interesting and
Plqlsnt
PEPPER, unit LETTER. from Pori,
will 30 continued through the year
TIE Becvtiss Of the Rhine.
will be described in richly illustrated
series OfpapprS.
!. During the year win appear number
OF handsomely illustrated short articles, de-
scrlpttye Of Lite, Travel, and Adventure in
the nited state. England, South America.
Jspan, Mongolia, AID other countries.
Par Hois l9nH Egok aa4 Nc,gsdraicr,.
PRICE 81 CENTSl
VERMs.-Yearly subscription, 81: Two
Copies, y Three Copies, go; FIVE Cop.
les, ZIG Ten Copies, $50, with copy
gratis to the person procuring the club.
single number, 80 cents.
NoTICE.-Ihe November and DeCeube
Numbers, containing the earlier chapters
OF The Marquis OF Lossie,' will be pre-
sented to all new annual subscribers for
1871.
Specimen Number mailed, postage paid.
to any address, on receipt OF % cents.
70 agents liberal commission will be al
lowed. Address
J. B. LIPPINC0TT & CO., Publishers
Ilj and III Market t.. Phia.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1877-08-21
HoLMAN,s AGUE AND. LIvERopA

marVe0Us IN rs prompt and radical FOR every spec
oH Liver and Stomach difficulties. II contains only bsrne
vegetable compounds, end H. worn EXACTLY WHI M
NEEDED over the ytals, Tho Liver and Stomaoh II re-
moves topdy OF tho liver and tho stomach frc.
ito dormant state arrestnO fermentation, torpor and pair
by giving tho natural quantity OF bile and gastric uc
u also Wtazes tho entire system with Natures true tonic
arrests all deteorated and poisonous fluids In the stomach
and thus prevents their entering the system by way Of
ouaton II sbsorbs from the body every particle OF 1908
POISON whether bilious masra medicinal and eapee
the wearer IL perfect health. Sent by mail free Of charge
on receipt OF co. Address Holman Liver Pad Co. No.
CD Maiden Lane, r. 0. Box 22, w. or 248 W. Fourts
Street, Cincinnati, 0. All live Druggists Keep them.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1877-08-21
Lippincott's Magazine
Al Illustrated monthly ri
Popular Literature, Science, and
Art.
ANNoUNCEMFNT FOR 1877.

The number IorJanuary BEGINS the zine.
tccnth volume Of the Magazine and while
1t" past record will, II is hoped, be- deemed
aSuillcient guarantee Of iuturo excellence,
no efforts viii be spared to diversity lis at
fractions and to provide an increased sup.
ply Of
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1877-08-21

are still the most thorough and search
ing cathartic medicine that can he
employed: cleansing the stomach and
bowels, and even the blood In small
doses of one pill day, they stimulate
the digestive organs and promote Wig
OrouS health.
AYERS Pills have been known for
moro than quarter Of century, and
have obtained o worldwide reputation
for their virtues. They correct dis
eased action in the several aSSimia-
tive organs of the body, and are so
composed that distinctions within
their range can rarely withstand or
evade them. Not only do they cure
the everyday complaints of every
body, but also formidable and danger
Gus diseases that have bNfled the best
of human skill. While they produce
powerful effects, they are, at the same
time, the safest and best physic for
children. By their apericnt action
they gripe much less than the common
purgatyeS, and never give pain when
the bowels are not inhamcd. They
reach the vital fountains Of the blood,
and strengthen the system by freeing
1t from the elements of weakness.
Adapted to all ages and conditions
in all climates, containing neither
calomel nor any dcleterious drug,
these Pills may be taken with safety
by anybody. Their sugar pre-
serves them ever fresh and makes
them pleasant to take; while being
purely vegetable, no harm can arise
from their use in any quantity,
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1877-08-21
! ~ 9 Z! %

TO the Working Glass We urc now
prepared TO furnish all clgsses III constant EN-.
pioyment at home, the whole of tie time or for
Their spare moIEeuu. Business new, light aud
profitable. Persons of either sex easily earn
from 81 cents to S. per evening, aud propor
tonal sum By devOting their whole time 10 the
business, Boys ard girls earn ne,rlyas much
smen. That al who see this notice may -ond
heir address, and test the husineCs we make tli.
Unparalleled offer To such as ufc not well salts.
ed We will send one dollar 20 pay for the
trouble OF writing, Full particular smaplcs
worth several dollars 90 c1mmsncc work on
and copy ofIIomc and frcside, one Of the
srgest and bet illus,ralcd puOicalion., nll Wnt
- BY mail Header, ifyou wunt Icrfuer.pt
and. Maine. ~
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1877-08-21
U1appr0aohoa by az Olhor periOdiOa!

CnaPp4VdNtN ~ elj OEucE IcIACNlVa!
the world, ofth0 most valuable literary and
Clcnttic matter OF the day, trum the pens Ofthe
cl ling Essayists, Scientists, Critics, Discoyer-
cTs, and Edi Or5, rcprcsentlnS every department
Of knOwldge and Progress.
TIVE LIVING AGE, lin which tf only COM
pctitor, "ENEkN SATURDAY" na, been
merged, Is - weekly magazine Of aNty-,uu
pages, giving more than
THREE AND \ QUARTER THOUSAND
double column octave page of reading matte
yearly. II presents IN an inexpensive form
considering it, amount ot matter, with freshness
owing to its weekly issue, aui with salts factory
completeness Httt nrtrd by no otEerpuUllCatluu
The best tssa}s, reviews, Criticisms, Iulcs
Sketches OF lIaycl amt Discovery, puetrY, Scisn
tilc, Biographical Historical ma Political IN
formation, nom The entire body of Foreign
Periodical Literature.
1t is therefore invaluable 10 every American
reader as the only fire. h and thorough compil:-
ton of an indispensable current literature, In
dispensaDle because Il embrace the production,
OF
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1877-08-21

Are the most
effective and
congenial pur-
gatiycoycrdiS-
covered. They
are mild, but
cfectual in
their opera
tion, moving
the bowels
surely and
without pain.
Although gen.
tie in their OPP
4s al.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1877-08-21

ga Complete Pictorial History OF d
Times. 1.-THE best cheapest, and
most successful Family Paper
in the Union.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1877-08-21

PonDlo' Renting IL Hc best ah& Most
EmPhot,c Sense,
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1877-08-21
3lAIRWi!9's E0lSsvsGS MAGAZINE,

The British Quarterlies give 10 the reader we'll
'iiSested information upon the great events in
contemporaneous history, and contain mastery
criticisms on all that is fresh and valuable IN
literature, rs well as a summary OF the triumphs
Of science and art. The wars likely TO Convilse
al Europe will form topics for discussion, that
will be treated with thorOughness and ability
nowhere else to be- found, Backwood's Maya
zine Is famous for stories, essays, and sketches
OF the highesl literary merit.
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1877-08-21

II" past record VIII, " ~ hoped, be deemed
asulllcicnt guarantee Of iuturo excellence,
no efforts viii be spared to diversity lis at
fractions and to provide an mere rsed sup
ply Of
Popnlo,' Renting IL Hc best di,i Most
EmPhot,c Sense,
The great object and constant aim of the
conductors viii be to furnish tho public
Literary Entertainment OF IT fined ana
varied character, rs well as TO present in
Il graphic and striking manner the most re-.
cent Information and sOundcsL views on
subjects OF general I'M rCst; in a WORD, 10
render lippncotl's Magazine ,lrAingly
distinctive IN
Woyc Frctllyg Hot are Most .it,rari,rc
IN Nog.ltc LHctUhDc
The contributions now ON hard. or ,pcci
ally engaged, embrace highly attractive
lst 81 tales, short S'0rir>, descriptive
sketches, narratives, payers on science and
art poems, popular essays, literary crit.
ci>m., etc., etc.
BY Talo'rt amt wax hu,~c H,it,u
A large proportion OF the articles, cspe
elaIly those descriptive OF travel, will lee
Prof"ely o,& HaoutiMlly Hh~'y'oi
The pictoria embcIli,hmcnt nf the Maga
zine constitute one Of II. many attractive
features.
In addition to tue General Attraction, Of
LlPPISCO MAGAZINE. the Pub.
Lis IA ~ Tat \ in,f .t#
The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1877-08-21
Cures Guaranteed in all Gases
PRIVATE COUNSELOR


y 700 fl' '1N' . ny Td-IIi sI h sIATl ~ IIT
3Ui rsr"a. -Hnui I. rod Ir d.. NFIr,., 40 .Isye
lice hDlrs 'rom " 4. ito Pm s4uiAy- .'oEP.A
The Russellville Democrat., 1877-08-30
NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

aE ELEGANT CARDS. No two Z Oalike. With name, 10c. Post paid Husted S Co.,, Nassau, N. Y.
The Russellville Democrat., 1877-08-30
A GREAT OFFER!! We will dur

A GREAT OFFER!! We will dur ing these hard times dispose of 100 PIANOS X ORGANS, new and second- hand of frst-class makers including WATERS at lowest prices for cash or installments or to let until paid for than ever before offered. WATERS Grand Square and Upright Pianos and Organs (including their new Souvenir and Boudoir) are the best made. z Octave Pianos $50. 1-3 do. $l60 not used year. ''2' stop Organs $50 1 stops $5s. stops $6s. s stops $75. 10 stops $SS. F stops $l00 cash, not used a year, in perfect order and warranted. Local and travelling agents wanted. H. lustrated catalogues mailed. A liberal discount to Teachers, Ministers, Churches, etc. Sheet Music at half price. HORACE WATERS & SONS, Manufacturers and Dealers, 40 East l4th St., Union Square, N. Y.
The Russellville Democrat., 1877-08-30

Over oOOonow in use and the demand increas- ing every year.
 zh Z py ye eWer wno oered Baker it cannot be beat. Answers well for a Room Heater, also for Ciofhes- Dryer, and makes q No. safe for keeping Bread, Pies, Is PortaJls, can be used In the orchard, yard, kitchen, porch or ccllar-weighs 225 pounds. Is Fire- Pr0of and cannot be burned down. Is the most economical Dryer ever invented, every particle of heat generated being utilized. Is labor sdsing and simple, so that child F years old can run it successfully. Dries fruit in from 3 10 10 honrs according to kind and quality, ani has capacity Of to bushels of Apples and 10 6 busheis of Peaches per day.
 All the liner and better qualities of the fruit are preserved. and fruit dried by this process is worth more than double the price of fruit dried in the old way.
 Thousands of testimonials can be produced. Read this from Col. Mead, Superintendent of one Of the largest Alden Drying Establish ments on the Peninsula:
 MIDDLETON, DEL, Sept. 24, 1S75 MEssRT. ZIMMERMAN X Co.-Gents: 1 have examined samples of fruit dried by your Evap- orator, and 1 find it in all respects equal to that prepared by the Alden process. have never seen finer fruit by any process, and unhesitatngly recommend the Dryer as com potent to do the work reqa.repa % ei MR.n It; snn, And this from a we'll known citizen of this part of Arka sas:
 ALTUs NURSERIES, Altus, Ark, MESSRS. J. l.. SHINN x Co.,.
 Russelville Ark.
 GENTS: Your Zimmerman Fruit Dryer and Baker IS the most practical thing evtr saw. In 1t you may dry your fruit day or night, .srain or shine,' and the fruit dried by 1t is much better every way than the sundried Then for baking bread. cakes, pigs or sheep how nice Your pumpkins too can be made a most valuable crop by drying for shipping or for home use Every farmer with even dozen fruit trees even an acre of pumpkins ought to have one. Send me one quick.
 C. II. GREGORY. Reliable working agents wanted in every county Send for terms.
 J. l.. Shinn & Co.,,
 Russpllyillp. Arks
The Russellville Democrat., 1877-08-30

TERMS, PAYABLE IN ADVANCE: ''iN Course. i.........'e......... - $50 % sound and Paper. ..'....'..... 50 %
The Russellville Democrat., 1877-08-30
LITTLE ROCK COM MERCIAL COLLEGE
 - A N D - TELEGRAPH INSTITUTE.
The Most Complete, Thorough and Practical
 Institution in the Country.
Little Rock. Ark.

yIyHIS institution offers superior facilities for l preparing young and middle aged men and women for the counting room, and for the of business and Financial affairs.
 The full Commercial course, as presented in the Preparatory, Actual Business and Bank ing Departments of the College, embraces critical instruction to those who may require it, in Reading. Spelling and Arithmetic, Book keeping by single and double ent ry. AS applied co business pursuits of every description. Bus ness PenInanship, Commercial talcu)acions, Mercantile Correspondence, Detection of ,oun- terfeit Money, Lectures on the Science Of Ac- ,ounts, Business Activities. organlzatiors, Economies Business Customs and Etiquette, commercial Law, Finance and General Laws of Trade.
The Russellville Democrat., 1877-08-30

We Have Good Lands at Cheap
 PRICES; THAT WE WANT TO FOR ACTUAL SETTLEMENT, furnish the Planter and the Lumeman with RICH CORN LANDS RICH COTTON LANDS, WHEAT LANDS VEGETABLE LANDS, FRUIT LANDS LANDS which bought prices very is excellent produces good produce good produce
  bales
  will peaches plums april backberr, raspbies and melons,
 world Irish and pumpkins
  hickory,
  have 
 
 and on life journey with all their might
The Russellville Democrat., 1877-08-30

SPECIAL DISCOUNTS will be made to Clubs and Deserving Parties.
 Usual time required to complete the Full commercial Course, from 10 to l5 weeks.
 Students can enter the College at any time, as there are vacations.
 Be sure to visit or address this College before going elsewhere.
 45-l2m AARON BALES, Principal.
The Russellville Democrat., 1877-08-30

If you feel dull, drowsy. debilttated, have frequent headache, mouth tastes badly, poor appetite, and tongue coated, you are suffering from torpid liver; or "biliousncss,' and noth- as to take simmons Liver Regulator or Medi- cine.
The Russellville Democrat., 1877-08-30
THERE ARE PARTS OF THIS COUNTY THAT PRESENT
 Superior advantages the ZDC.AZZD.N DF COLONIES.

 land borders Pope on the South Remove mo through the County, streams there s farmin gIandsa be efounda any ill he Also some sup places making
 Stock
 raising Sheep which ing need only the
 them gente
The Russellville Democrat., 1877-08-30
T II l R T Y RS.
 AND TO MEMPHIS SI K 1T K E HOuR

XXX E EF- Week to Agents. si0 augusta Maihc. Aug 2i-lyl
The Russellville Democrat., 1877-08-30
SAVE MONEY.

For the benefit of our frields, and in order to encourage everybody to read and keep posted we have arranged so as to furnish the DEMO- GRAF in connection with the following papers Ut the price set opposite each name:
 l. R. Gazette, price s2, and DEMOCRAT for g .75
The Russellville Democrat., 1877-08-30
PURELY VEGETABLE.

Chills and Fever, Malarious Fevers, Bowel Complaints, Resttessnest, Jatin- dice and Nausea.
The Russellville Democrat., 1877-08-30
SICK HEADACHE!
J. Fl. zEILiN & CO,

Price, si.oo. Sold by all Drugslst.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1877-05-17
Murpl,y's History.

Seven years ago Francis Murphy,
an Irishman, was the keeper ola low
grog shop in Portland, Maine. In n
drunken fight with one of his com
panions, Murphy kicked his antago-
mist down the stairs and the fall kill
ed the man. Murphy was arrested
and thrown into prison, and to this
day he bears the scars ON his limbs,
inflicted by the heavy chains with
which he was bound By the inter-
vention of powerful friends, who saw
that underneath a rough exterior
Murphy bore a warm heart, and who
were familiar with some Of the deeds
of charity he had done, he was at
length released from jail, During
his Imprisonment he was converted,
and through his labors twenty.seven
other persons were converted, and
brought into the church. Murphy
then entered the temperance cause,
heart and soul on fire with itsimpor-
tance, and has since been an active
worker.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1877-05-17
AIIard Thing TO do.

How often has every young man
had it demonstrated to his perfect
satisfaction that there is nothing less
successful in all the range of action
amongst gods and men than an effort
teScreep up stairs at night without
ibsing beard by tberuld sfelks You
may keep close TO the wall, step light
as a bird, or try to- pull yourself up
by the hands, but all in vain; for if
you don't weigh as much as flea, the
moment you get your foot on the step
it will creak and groan and crack as
though an elephant was climbing
the boards, while the old gentleman,
who is sleeping in the next room,
will cock his car up and bawl out;
Hello, there! Who's that out
there laundering around and keep
ing people awake all night? I'll take
care of your case, sir, in the morn
ing!r
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1877-05-17
cuuRcu plRECToRY.

ftRsr nYrGNIAN-Scryiccs on the %
and 4th Sabbaths of each month, morning
aud evening. Rev. DR.. Lane, Pastor. sab
bath School every Sunday morning at . o.
clock. B. Gilmore, Superintendent.
PoIHT PLEASANT PRESBYTERIAN CuUhcH
w. T.. Hill, Pastor, Preaching list and
Sd Sabhuths morning and night. Bible
Glass at the Parsonage ON Wednesday er-
ening. Sabbath School, Sunday morning.
M. H. Hale Superintendent.
Protestant EPISCOPAL CHURCH. Rev. I.
II. Lacy, Rector. Services as follows; AZ
Christ Church, Point Pleasant, every sun.
day morning At lOl o'clock, except the u
Sunday in each month, and every Sunday
evening, at o. O'Clock, except the I'D sun
duy IN each month. Sunday School mt 8
o'clock. I. Stribhns, Sup't Nestry meet
Ing on the evening Of the ID Monday in cv-
cry month. Services at Bruce'S Chapel on
the % Sunday at lOl A. ". Mason City
on the Sd sunday at 81 7. NJ. West Col
umbia the 81 Sunday at q! P. NJ. =.
NJ. T.. CuuRCi-Scrviccs on the LIST and
Sd Sabbaths OF each month, ut l0i \. NJ,
and a 2. NJ, during summer. Prayer
meeting every Wednesday evening. l.. L..
Stewart, pgstor Sabbath schoolevery sun
day morning at . o'clock. d. :. Snyder,
Superintendent.
". 4. CuuRcH, SOuTH-Seryices on the
4th Sabbath OF each month. Rev. --
Robinson Pastor. Sabbath School every
Sabbath morning at . o'clock, Robert 5.
BiCkcl, Superintendent.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1877-05-17
An. Editorial Brutus.

An editor out West indulges in the
following talk to his subscribers and
patrons. The famous speech of Bru-
tns on the death of Caesar, as render.
ed by Shakespeare, is made to do ser
vice in this amusing travesty:
"Hear us for our debts and get
ready that you pay; trust us, we have
need, as you have long been trusted;
acknowledge your indebtedness, and
dive into your pockets, that you may
promptly fork oyer. lfthere be any
among you-one single patron-that
don't owe Us anything, then to him
we say: Step aside, consider your
self gentleman" If the rest wish
to know why we dun them, this is
our answer: Not that we care about
ourselves, but our creditors do.-
Would you rather that we went to
Jail and you go free, than that you
pay your debts and keep us moving2
AS we agreed, we have worked for
you; as we contracted, we have fur
nished the paper to you; but as you
don't pay we dun you. Here are
agreements for job work, contracts
for subscription, promises for long
credit, aud duns for deferred payment.
Who is there so green that he don't
take a paper? If any, he need not
speak for we don't mean him. Who
is there so green that he don'tadver,
tise? If any, let him slide; he ain't
the clap either. Who is there so
mean that he don't pay the printer?
Ifany, let him speak, for he's the
,,,o, ,vo avn offnr -
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1877-05-17
The Champion Rat Killer.

'A A'tall man, with u nosolike amuf-
fin, went into Main street board
ing house ono day last week, and ask
ed for II dinner.
"0wing to the general depression
of business, and consequent scarcity
Of the rhino," said the proprietor,
looking the tall man over, "a dinner
will cost you thirty.five cents, in ad-
vance"
81 have nothing with me hut q
check on a Boston bank observed
the tall man.
."Check on Boston banks amt
worth u copper remarked the land
lord; ~ guess you'll have to dine
more sumptuously elsewhere"
"Can't | do something for my din
ner2' asked the tall man as hungry
pang griped him.
"You can pay said the proprietor,
impressivcly.
"You give me my dinner" said
the tall man; "Pll agree TO clean your
house of every rat in it. ] have per-
formed the feat in many hotels
throughout the country, with most
satisfactory results
The proprietor accepted the bar
goin as a most advantageous one to
himself, and thotall man scatedhim
self ut the table, where ho did fear
ful execution among the viotuals.--
He finished his dinner in half an
hour, picked his teeth with a fork,
called for cigar, and proceeded to
enjoy II.