The Red Cloud chief., 1877-11-01
HUMOROUS.

IN the lace OF lne ldcb that "olh"n
the puzzle of the nineteenth century.
few men think Of giving her up.
A man in Ohio. who attempted u
hang himself, recently. was cut down by
his mother-in-law. She WAS not through
with him yet
To see a pretty girl putting on a post
age-s,amp makes n fellow wish he WAS
the Father OF his Country. or even Ben
Franklin.
Tiusband-"That he Stly dog can't
enter the room without hts biting my
legs" Wife. pensively--The poor little
creature, he is 50 intelligent.
Talmage saws he has baptized men by
immersion who Were IN such need OF
water on their persons that he WAS
tempted To leave them in The tank
\ hardened husband thinks that IL
the dressmaker would trim his wites
dresses lesa. and the butcher trim -
meat more, he could meet his obliga
tons better.
There is once IN awhile y woman IN
this country who thinks that blouse
hold management" stops at the making
of a wOrsted dog. .
do they ring two bells for schOoly
asked afather of his ten yeir-olddaugh
ter. who attends the high school. No.
pa: they ring one bell twice" she To-
piled.
\ shrewd old cOuntTymIn said he did
not believe there Was any downright
cure for laziness III "A man. But, h0
added. I've known "A sec I'D wife Ia
hurry i, "A bit"
\ Presbyterian preacher III Iowa WAS
once circus clown. He ough, Ia give
his congregation sermon from the =
by these stripes We axe healed.
MA. if We cross the bridge nj night
must We pay toIl;'"Of course. my dea9
why do you ask: why. because the
liver will have gone I" sleep" "Oh. the
river never goes 10 sleep" Then why
has it "A bed. mammay"
a little girl in Clinton. III, WAS teach
ing her little brother the Lords PRAYER
the other night. and when she said.
Give us this day our daily bread. ="
suddenly called out. PRAY for syrup.
too. sister; pray for syrup. too"
a little girl came into of our shoe
stores the other Gay {, take shoes bone
for her mother to select from. Nv hat
number does yOur mother veal. sissy 2
said the merchant. SIC told me To
bring some half past fnurs. replied tin"
little girl.
A blushing damscl called AZ one Of
the agencies the other ddy. la buy "A sew
ing machine. do y"u want "A fellery
inquired the polite clerk. The ingenious
maid replied with some asperity NO.
sir! / have nv"
A husband finding "A piece broken out
of his plate and one u Of his saUcef.
petulantly exclaimed To his wife: MY
dear. il seems 10 me that everything he
longing to you il broken" We'll. ycs."
responded the wife. even yOu seem 10
he "a little cracked"
In garrets and closets and woodshei
lofts. lengths of rusty stoyepipe are
now holding conventions. and may pass
resolutions to tn effect that they will
stand up and he counted. but never CO.
creed by a red faced man superintendent
by a fearful yet determined IN
An old bachelor having been Laughed
at by "a party of pretty girls. told them;
You are small potatoes." I'VE may be
small potatoes" said one of them. but
We are sweet ones.
A s~tone-cutter once received from
German the following epitaph. to been
graved on the tombstone OF his decsas
el wife: MY wife Susan is dead; II she
had live until next Friday. she'd been
dead youst two weeks. As "A tree fall, ~
must she stand. All dings Is impossible
init God"
A Il ,ston merchant. seeking % b1i-
ger a One-legged son Of ErIn. sand ~
him: Il say. Patrick. with all youT talk
about the Virgin Mother don't believe
she was any better than my mother
That may be-" WAS the prompt reply.
but I tell W there's a mighty difference
in the cha racter of their sOns. Patrick
remained master of the situation.
Funeral In a story and half ho6s'.
Enter fashionably dressed Lady who
lives around the corner at a stone iI0ntl
with small boy. Lady 10 herself Il
wonder If this IL going 10 Dc a fashion
able affair." Don't look much Ike u
now; not over a dozen or twenty here.
and none with carriages. Ny girls dii
want To come 3 bad looking oNt
81 the windowe"Oh. here come -
Percys, the Armours. and the Bsn@iic,s
in their carriages" Whispering ~ small
boyS"Charlie. run home quick and tel
Oracle and ANY that il Ia all right. AMI
To cona aheSd." Exit small boy on a
run around the corner.
When the subs.antials ~ the dinner
had been disposed of by her visRbB.
Mrs. Clementina Fjdsiia debts stid ~
her hired girl: "NOw. B.tfy pos may
bring on Sthara.- Num- The d-s-
ssr1. stupid" 'Yis. mum" A Betty 10"
scsnded toward the kitchen she might
have been heard sav ooh. murths,