The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1877-12-29
PITH AND POINT.

INVALID FURNITURE-A wooden leg.
"THIs, Madame said the dressmaker.
is cut bias" !" Yes" echoed an appren-
tiee, "by u.s." She was bounced"
A WESTERN editor returned tailor's
bill, endorsed, Declined; handwriting
illegible."
If you don't know there is ice in the
streets, you'll soon tumble to it.-N. Y.
Herald.
EUCLID has been translated into Chi
nese. They call geometry the science of
the how much"
THB surest way to interest the Indian
in agriculture is to show him that whisky
is made out of corn.
WHEN a faithful mother goes on a
whaling expedition, she never fails to
get all the blubber she wants.
AN eastern man has advertised for " A
boy to open oyesters with reference"
| We don't believe it can be DONE.
MEN folks have got to endure the daz-
cling effects Of those red flannel skirts
again this winter. It's tough, but let ZEN
dazzle-Berksi6re Courier.
GUM camphor placed around the
haunts of mice will drive them away !;
before going they sing in chorus: go,
gum, gum away Yonkers Gazette.
LET the whirlgig of time spin and
spin until it creates hot box, and it
cannot bring the hair trunk into fashion
again.-Oa City Derrick.
"WHAT's dollar?" asks the Graphic.
1t is just the same as gratitude; some
thing of which we owe more than we
have.-Hawkeye.
THE old maxim, Be ehaste and you'll
be happy, is contradictei point blank by
Black Hills man, who was chased ten
miles by party of redskins.
Now does the frugal young bachelor
spread his last years ulster on the floor
and walk around the edges thereof, sew
ing on buttons Worce,ter Press.
SOMEBODY says every failure is a step
to success. This will explain why the
oftener some men fall, the richer they be
come.
A MAN who has been an inveterate
smoker for twenty years has suddenly
and permanently given up the practice
He brushed the ashes off his pipe into a
key of blasting powder.
WHAT is the difference between a
schoolboy studying his lessons and far
mer watching his COWS? One is stock
ing his mind and the other minding his
stock.
THE Baltimore News says that it re-
quires considerables stratagem to find a
diamond Yes, but did you ever try to
dig woodchuck out of side hill?"-
| Detroit Free Press.
A STRANGER stopping at one of the
the people lived on. ave-" said the
proprietor, "why we live on oysters and
strangers. "-Neao Bedford Mercury.
The sight of a !" 10 cents quart" sign
which has blown from the peanut stand
on to pile of patent corsets two doors
below, is one calculated to make the
wayfarer think things have somehow got
little xed.-Brid9sport Standard.
SCENE on the New York train-Con-
ductor Ito lady with small boy)-" Have
=" All right" HANDS out so note. }
Conductor" Haven't you any small
err" Lady alarmed =" None but that
six-months' old baby over there!" Con-
ductor explodes and explains. Fact!-
PhiIadelphia Bulletin.
A LITTLE boy, with his mother, was
on visit to friend; and as they were
about to start homeward, his mo ther
asked him to kiss their entertainers. He
kissed all but one little girl of about his
own age, and when asked why he did
not kiss her, he answered, "Cause,
mamma, l didn't have 'nough to GO
round"
A PENDLEToN (Ky.) lawyers is said to
have presented to the courts the follow
ing affidavit: ~ do hereby say and dc
here by swar that | do not believe that
have a faer and imparcell trile in the
case now before-saidc charge is against
me for caring concealed weapons to wit
a pistol. Given under my hand this lC
day of November, 1877"
MISTRESS: "Come, Bridget, how
much longer are you going to be about
filling that pepper-box?" Bridget: Ga
fresh importation from where they dom
use pepper castors). 'Shure ma am
and it's meself can't say how long it'll
be takin' me to get all this stuff in the
thing through the little holes in the
top"
SOME tells of an Ohio tavern keeper
appointed collector of internal revenue
who got one day, in an envelope ad
dressed to him officially, $500 green
back, with slip of paper, on which wa
written ( conscience money" He pu
the bill in his pocketbook without de
bate, simply remaring: 81 always die
suspect that bar-keeper."
A LAWYER went into BARRIERS shol
to procure wig. In taking dimension
of the lawyers head, the barber ex
claimed, I" Why, how long your head is
sir! 'Yes," replied the legal gentle
man, we lawyers must have long heads.
The barber proceeded about his vocation
but at length exclaimed, "Why, sir
your head is as thick as it is longP
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