The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1877-09-21
GIreqntelliQenter
MARTIAL HAPPISESS.

nv own sex, viz, happiness in the mar.
RED relation. Who that has lived to
the age Of 30 has not seen here and there,
and al around him, di,cord and trouble,
sorrow and unhappiness, between hus.
bands and Wives?-for the few who live
happily, and are thus blessed with the
highest and best kind Of happiness this
world can beStoW, there are hundreds and
hundreds who are bound together and
who tolerate their lives with each other
only for the sake Of appearances.
Bound, not united; there lies the secret;
there Is the cause OF much trouble.
There are but few women who, during
the first years Of married life, have NOT
had to unlearn before they could learn
to adapt themselves 10 circumstances sut.
iciently 10 enable them 10 be 10 their
husbands really and truly a helpmeet.
They have experienced for themselves
the ruth that no man ia perfect, and that
al are liable 10 err. am not thinking
Of those marriages which are merely bar.
gains; when woman marrles man for
whom she cares nothing, except that
through him she can enjoy the satisfac.
ton Of dressing better than her ascot
,les, and exciting their envy by the dis
play Of jewels or equipages, she gets the
only happiness she desires; and il she
have mind and heart enough at some
time to awaken to the fact that better
nobler, and more satisfying life was pos
'blO to her, she will be her own punish
ment.
But am thinking Of the women who,
atmarrluge, really love thier husbands
with all the love that Is possible to then
at that time. say at that time, because
women then love their ideal; after their
marriage they must learn 10 love the man;
and that ia the love which carries wo.
man triumphantly through sorrow and
trouble, through sin and shame maybe,
and makes her the helpmee. and com.
panion, the one holy thing to her hu5-
band, whatever his life, circumstances, or
condition.
lsay women must FIRST unlearn. The
girl has looked upon the man who is to
be her husband as very nearly perfect;
he is kind, loving, generous, high. princi.
pied, all that is possible for q man to be;
in her eyes he can do no wrong. Such
il the man. The husband is different
thing. In very few cases the difference
il slight, perhaps; in many, very great,
The wiIe's eyes look deeper, and the mind
liI0errA more clearly than did the girls.
Then Is the time Of trial. Then must
the wife choose the road In which she
will walk and on her choice depends the
inIure. -r-r..F ~
When the vile first learns that the
husband is not the fAuttIess being she ion.
sGlned, she Is surprised and diI4alisfed,
and, perhaps, feels that she Is deceived.
II her discovery ia only that he 10 not
so unselfsh as she thought for; that he
considers his own comfort sometimes be-.
fore here; that he expects her to devote
her time to and give up all her inclina.
tons to him; that his love for her is
thing which he expects she understands
aud he does not need TO speak Of, -her
tisappointmenti5 comparatively asmall
one, and should neither make her miser.
able, nor unkiEd, nor impatient with
him. ..a H.
But it often happens that graver things
than these are made apparent. Tie
mans character, as 1t IA developed to the
vile, ia far from noble: besides being sci.
tish, he may be egotia!iGal, untrulhiul,
Silh no regard ior his word; lie may put
hi' manhood to shame by dishonest trans.
actions, and call it business, he may be
80 weak and wayering US to oblige bis
vile 10 be q pair OF moral crutches for
him, he may be all this, and still he is her
husband. 10 woman with high moral
standard these things are soregriei, for
her happiness 1t seems necessary that abe
should thoroughly respect the man in the
husband, and, II It is Impossible for her
TO do this, it is bitter, bitter sorrow;
how bitter only those who have expert.
enced it can know, bat, however unbeara.
bic 1t may seem to be, it should never be
given voice, it should be crushed down to
the very lowest depths Of the heart, it
should never be allowed to make the vile
unkind and complaining, for it can never
be aiIeviated that way. "
Then is the time she should bring to
bear all her strength and mind, all her
force Of character, and accept the situa.
ton, for rebellion against il will no. alter
II; he Is her husband whom she has
promised Solemnly before God to abide
by for "beIter or worse Till death do them
part" let her look that fact sQuarely In
the face, and try to fully realize its mean.
ioRi then determine to herself that, so far
a. possible for her "a a human being to
do, she will fill up the measure OF every
hing in which he fGllS short; II he Ia sel.
a'h, il he u weak, she will be strong:
everything he lacks which Is necessary
ior the uaklns OF a RtroDg, manly char
acIer abe will supply she will make il
the business Of her life to watch over him
With the same tender, helpful love she
gives her child, and at every turn be his
comfort and support.
every vile would set up this lofty
standard Tor herselI, and aoaspientiou,ly
ssndeavor to attain II, II she would make
herself an example q truthtulness and
Pureheartedness, II she would show her
husband, by her own life, the beauty Of a
high, moral purpose, combined with char.
ny, ruling and governing all her act., it
should so long way,toward making him
Ehatshe would have him to be; and, what
ever be was, he would love, honor, and
respect her with tho highest and holiest
part Of his nature
Many men do wrong more through
weakness than wickedness; the fault lies
more with the head than with the heart
!hen let wives see TO 1t that their charity
like that whiUh "sufIereth long and il
kind,n.
Ibelieye II possible for the majority Of
them to work out a happiness for them.
'aIVeG which will be true and lasting; It il
not done in & week or q month; It Is a
IRbOt Of years,-hard, exacting ,wearisomC
labor, but carrying with ii its own reward
Havoman can once get under feet bel
own disappointments and selt.pity, and
think oil herself only as her husband.
SsonselOr and adviser, his right hand, his
best friend, his rife, she will some day
gain the victory over herself which L
Necessary before the foundation 10 laid ioi
happiness which will endure. Ther
WI she feel truly united to her husband,
bot bound.
But I fear nv IaiIa-