The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-03-09
WHAT THE WITS SAY.
The electoral bill fell like Oil on the

Inc electoral bill fell like Oil on th
troubled waters; fusel oil.-Haaoksys.
Lies about premature robins and blue
birds are now to be looked for.-Easto
Free Press.
1 What popular cry fully describes an in
cipient mustache ?-"Down in front."-N
7. Commercial.
+ a parrot is said to live to be 200 year
old. A barber does not live go long but b
talks more.-N 2. Nail
Tom King, the ex-prize-fghter, has be
come greenhouse man in England
FLORIST with one O.--Phiga. Times.
There are $4,000 book agents in the Uni
ted States, and only 1913 of them com
mitted suicide last year.-Bafags Ezpress
Tom King, the x-prize-fghter, has be
come prize fighter in England. Still goinl
for the smeller, SO to speak.-St. Louis Re
publican.
j Blue glass is a great curative, doubtless
but the venerable Hunker affirms that i
| must necessarily hold something. -Roches
ter Democrat.
By the way, the grave of Fulton has ne
monument. Wouldn't it be appropriate tt
plant boiler 'ound there some where
His memory is greatly steamed, You know
Detroit Free Press.
/
A Washington county, Kentucky, hunter
recently found four coons and seventy
pounds of honey in one tree. Whether the
coons collected the honey Or the bees laid
| the coons is o coonundrum.-Er.
A man who, thres years ago paid taxes
| on $4O, 900 worth Of Boston real estate, has
just been forced to apply for position on
the police. Paying taxes on real estate
soon gets man down.-Courier-Jo Journal
The great English gun is pronounced
cracked, the reason being b.ing that was
not it was mol thoroughly bored. If it had
been placed in an American newspaper office
the result must have been very different
otuo1-CcHtcCTut.
DIR. Holland says in scri6nsr, "you must
take your baby just where he is now and
educate his physical nature" That is it
exactly. Take him with the bottom of a
slipper where he lives and he will soon
graduate with a good education. r
Herald. s sa
When man without cash or credit, says
tho Oil City Derrick, attempts to leave q
hotel, and lowers his valise out Of back
window by means of rope, 1T makes char
ity seem cold to hear the voice of the land
lord below yelling out: "All right: I've
got the valise; let go tho rope"
Longfellow is authority for the statement
that some days must be dark and dreary.
Few will doubt this. There are men who
having pawned their overcoats during the
a time painted shingie on country school
house, patched with moss.-Neso York
Herald.
Those OF Senator Cameron's friends who
called on him to-day have not been over
successful.in their coincidence. 80, well,
Senator" said one to-day. "you needn't
care; everybody thinks suing you for breach
of promise is great joke" Yes, but
that's precisely what I do care about; it is
not right. Why, am only seventy-eight.
N. 7. World.
He was praising her beautiful hair, and
begging for one tiny curl, when her little
brother said: ooh, my! faint nothing
now. You just ought to have seen how
long it hangs down when she hangs it on
the side of the table to comb it, Then
they laughed, and she called her brother
cute little angel, and when the young man
was going away and heard that boy yelling
he thought the lad was taken suddenly and
dangerously ill.-Rome Sentinel.
Brooklyn argus: Incidents Of the great
Moody and Sankey revival in Boston:
"DEAR CnARLIE-Will meet you at the
appointed place and time. HATTIE"
"DEAR HATTIE-I will bs there, sure.
"CHARLIE."
Then Charley sends the following mes
sage to his wife:
"Don't wait dinner for me. attend
the prayer-meeting again to-day. Little do
you realize, Sarah, what a work the Lord
is doing for me-"
Matter for thought - printed matter.
Matter for thawt--a snow bank. Matter
fore-thought-a msmorialized defamation.
Mat aforethought-carpet shreds waiting
for the patient lady to knit them. "Mat''
aforethought-discussiny it for the baby's
name. Net aforethougbt Two persons
who run into each other. Metaphor thought
"a labored metaphor Met her for thought
"a conversation. Met aforethought-an
arranged interview. Met fourth aught-
the fourth caught in parsing.-Er.
The Haukeye humorist proposes to start
a paper of his own, and will cease to be the
man who laughs.-St. Louis Journal.
Catch him at it. Wemay say right here
| that all such talk has no more foundation
than the reports about Senator Christian
cy's baby. We may and will go farther
and say that Senator Christiancy 10 mucl
more liable to have baby than the para
graphist is to start paper of his own. Fl,
has had it. The paper, not the baby. 81
had all he wanted of it. So had the sher
if. Hdsokeye.
| --~.>zD.,--
The Rise in six. i
1 The enormous rise in silk since June ha