River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-01-11
Had a Few.

A South Hill schoolma am, the other
day, while working an example on the
board, detected an urchin directly be-
hind her in the unlawful act of de-
vouring an apple. She said to him,
ssTim, what are you doing - ssNo'-
him., said Tim, with his mouth SO full
that his cheeks stuck out on either
side of his head like aldermen't stom-
achs. s'Yes, You are" paGadoxically
insisted the teacher ''what have you
in your hand p 'sNapple," said Tim,
with some surprise, as he looked at
the fragment of the apple in his hand
and wondered who had bit it while he
was studying. s.What has become of
the rest of it e. "Dunno," said Tim,
looking around in an amazed effort to
discover who had the rest of it.
Somebody's been eatin' it." Have
you any more - demanded the teach
er. ..Yes'm,'' said Tim, dolefully
ssgot Mother" 'sWhere is it q
''Where is it e. relentlessly pursued
the teacher. :" n my desk, said Tim,
as he began to suspect that the teach.
er was going to demand it of him.
"Well, take it out and go and stand on
the platform and eat it, "Eat EN-
both!" queried Tim. Eyes, eat them
BOTH" Eat all | got! demanded
Tim. in q subdued tone of counten-
ance. ''Yes, eat all you have" i'm
patiently responded the teacher, and
turning to the board she continued,
''and don't you leave that platform
while you have any apple left uneat-
en- Silence reigned in the school
room. The paper pellet pursued its
tranquil transit unobserved.
The busy hum of the studious made
more noise than the cautious smile of
the indolent. Tim stood at his post.
Munich, MUNICH, imunch. The frag-
ment in his hand soon disappeared,
lently, but determinedly. Quickly it
followed the first. Then he put his
right hand into his pants pocket and
took out an apple, and, after a eau
tious reconnoitre, during which he
wiped it on his trousers, he began the
attack. He carried the fort. Down
went that hand again, and another ap.
pie was brought to light. 1t was
quickly dispatched. A third followed.
Then he changed his position, and,
resting the weight of his body on his
left leg, sighed as he drew forth
from his left breeches pocket another
apple. When it vas gone he drew on
the commissioner for another, and by
the time he pro uced the eighth apple
he was silently being observed by two
thirds of the boys in the room. The
teacher turned and saw the boy still
standing in the attitude of one who
was reaching for something in his coat
pocket. "Aren't you through yet y
she queried in some establishment.
"Got MOTHER" stoically responded
Tim, producing it and falling to work
on it. In surprise the teacher saw him
reach for still another, and when that
was gone surprise grew to amazement
as his unwavering hand again sought
the gaping mouth of that pocket.
As the boy ate he grew in dimen-
sions, and the teacher became alarmed.
There seemed to be no end to the APP
pies that he had in his clothes. "Tim,
for mercy's sake, have you got any
more apples?" Got mother, said
Tim, indifferently. "How many more
apples have youl" Dunno said
Tim; s'guess got two or three more
The teacher did not dare to let him
proceed, and appointed herself an in
vestigating committee to look after
the back counties. The boy never
changed a muscle Of his countenance
nor moved an inch while that teacher
pulled apple after apple from his coat
and stacked them up upon the desk,
until there was something less than a
peck piled up, with Dade county to
hear from. The scho0l-room was a
scene of hilarity which WASH t so much
subdued as it had been. Tim had laid
in apples for the winter, and the peck
| ct of his coat having no bottom, the
coat was thus an immense bag, which
would hold as many apples as he could
carry. The matter has not been lald
before the School Board yet, but the
exhausted school ma'am declares that
the next time she will learn how much
of crop of apples he has about him
before she issues any orders.