The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-03-23
A Little Advice to Correspondents.

we nave alreRuy Hau great uehi VI Com-
plant from some of our occasional cores
pondents about mistakes which appear in
their articles when they come out in print.
We are aware that ia many cases the fault
is ours, but we are confident the matter
could be remedied IL our correspondents
would pay little more attention to the pre-
paration of their manuscript, Printers are
not infallible, and our proof readers do some
times make mistakes, but we have prepared
a few practical hints and instructions, and If
our friends who write to the paper once in a
while will kindly act upon our suggestions,
we will be personally responsible for all err
rors that our compositors may make in set
ting mot sitting) up their manuscript
Never write with pen or ink. 1t is alto
gether too plain, and doesn't hold the mind
of the editors and printers closely enough to
their work.
If you are compelled to use ink never use
that vulgarity known as the blotting pad
IF you drop blot of ink on the paper, lick
it off. The Intelligent Compositor loves
nothing so dearly as the smear this will
make across twenty or thirty words. We
have seen him hang over such piece of
copy half an hour, swearing like pirate all
the time he felt that good.
Don't punctuate. We prefer to punctu-
ate all manuscript sent to US. And don't
use capitals. Then we can punctuate and
capitalize to suit ourselves, and your article,
when you see it in print, will astonish, even
if it does not please you.
Don't try to write too plainly. 1t is sign
of plebeian origin aad public school breed
ing. Poor writing is an indication of gen.
ius. It's about the only indication Of gen.
ius that great many men possess. Scrawl
your article with your eyes shut, and make
every word as illegible as you can. We get
the same price for it from the rag man as
though it were covered with copper-plate
| sentences.
Avoid all painstaking with proper names.
We know the full name of every man, wo-
man and child in the United States, and the
merest hint at the name is sufficient. For
instance, if you write character something
like drunken figure 8, and then draw a
wavy line, and the letter NJ and another
waving line, we will know at once that you
mean Samuel Morrison, even though you
may think you mean "Lemuel Messenger
1t is a great mistake that proper manner
should be written plainly.
Always write on both sides of the paper
and when you have filled both sides of every
page trail line up and down every margin
and back to the top of the first page, closing
your article by writing the signature JUS
aboye the date. How we do love to get hole
of articles written in this style. And how
we would like to get hold of the man vino
sends them. Just for ter minutes. Alone
In the woods, with cannon in our hiI
pocket. Revenge is sweet; yum, yum
yum,
Lay your paper on the ground when yol
write; the rougher the ground the better.
Coarse brown wrapping paper is the best
for writing your articles on. fyou can tea
down an old circus poster and write on tn
pasty side of it with q pin stick, it will d.
still better.
| When your article is completed, cruncl
your paper in your pocket, and carry it tw
or three days before sending it in. Thi
rubs off the SUI perfuous pencil marks an
makes it lighter to handle.
If you can think of it, lose one page ou
of the middle of your article. We can eas
ly supply what is missing and we love to d
it. We have nothing else to do.
If correspondents will observe these diret
tions, we will hold ourselves personally r,
sponsibe for every error that appears /
their articles, and will pay them their flu
claim for damages when they make con
plant. We shall never forget the last ma
who complained under this rule. We ca
never, never, although we should live
thousand years, forget the appalling look h
turned upon us while we were pulling h
lungs out of his ear with the nail.grab. o,
heart seemed turned to ice, under the inf,
ence of that dumb, beseeching look, viii
we tore him to pieces. We have never tol
man to pieces since without feeling the h
tears spring to our eyes as we think of tn
man. We have been tempted, time al
again, to break ourselves of this habit
tearing men to pieces for trivial causes. B.
we digress. We were merely saying we a
always happy to receive complaints Al
correct any errors for which We are responi
BILE. Exchange.