The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-08-21
NEWS AND NOTES.

The best authority ON trapeze per-
formances-Vault-aire.
Russian War-cry-"t;ood hcav
ings! the Turks are coming"
Green melons and sour grapes
are helping to sell cemetery lots.
People dream dreams because
they can not dream anything else.
Cherries ought to be healthy. for
cherry gives stone To the stomach.
..Dramhole" is the name If village
in Lehish County, Pennsylvania.
The man who made the w,lkin
ring is now engaged upon loeket for
, the air.
Among recent arrivals at the
Louisville hotel we notice Mr..
Nuckols was on hand.
The Turks have been described
rs sleepy" but the Russians do most
of the retiring.
oh Lord, Here is man asking
why do We not quote the thermometer
in the market reports.
-Plevna is Russian for tearS.-Ex
Yes. ana weepins of war are plentiful
there just now.
Do not Ike too hard OH the loco
motive engineers. They are often
more cinder gainst than SHINING.
A Buffalo bay has been convicted
of stealing ayelocipede. bu: will he two
wheel known to try it again.
Somebody has stolen our calendar.
so We can not tell whether to-day is
the day for Russian or Turkish atroci-
ties.
The Queen of Sweden has heart
disease, brought on probably by over
anxiety about house cleaning and fly
chasing.
A few weeks ago baby was born
i'm the Iowa Penitentiary. We sug-
gest. II it is a girl. that they name her
.Jacl, the key-nitc.
William Patterson was the first
man who raised his voice against strike
vet no enc Sclop:eiia SD much IL men
tions him.
"A menagcrie has been fined for
travelling on the sidewalk in Nash
vile. Suppose they thought they
must draw a. lion some where.
The tramps are getting distributed
again, and II they can't have bread or
blood, they are willing to take the
white meat Of a chicken.
Miss Boyle, the actress. owns up
that she Is twenty-five years oil. and
it won't look cunning TO see her lug
ging an more doll.ba5ies around the
stage.
That Grand Rapids man who saw
a snake twenty feet long may live a
truthful life for the next twenty-five
years. but he'll be suspected by the
public.
"A Mrs. and Miss are rival can
didates for School superintendent in
Shasta County Cali:ornia--Ex.
Sheres M Mr-y about the matter,
then, We suppose.
A new solution for the labor
problem: a dog in Me,lway lived
four weeks in well without food.
Tx. ''ln a well without water you
mean don't yous
The telephone may vet be ar
ranged for the use of farmers who Use
oxen. 4 whisper on the instrument
would make an OK think an earth
quake was fooling with his ear.
Miss Hattie Hazel,llne is called
the best looking young lady in st.
Louis. and she knows hows to hakc a
loaf Of bread or pin shirt on the line
80 that it will seem to be a pillow
case
Recently. while the President was
at the Washington Schuetzenfest a
factotum, wishing To 10 the handsome
thing, said: "Mr. President l vos
glat that you komed. We yoost
vos keepin' some water on ice for you
-eh!"
A poem in an exchange begins
with the line, "a smile. will refuse
smilc?' We think the person who
would refuse smile these times must
he either very sick or constitutionally
unable to drink.
The strike ON James-street YES
terday morning was promptly quelled.
The old lady marched upon the scene
with broom. .and the boy took the
saw and returned to work on the wood
pile ut old rates.
Elm a poor man and my father
was a cooper said an opponent Of
Tom Marshall upon one occasion.
doubtless his father was q cooper,
replied Tom. ''but he put a mighty
poor head on to one of bis whisky bar
rels."
Ono by one the writers Of para
graphs are being drawn into matri-
mony and, doubtless for prudential
reasons, the great American mothe in-
law is permitted to occupy a less
prominent position before the reading
public.
Mark Twain says that the theater
manager who abbreviated his play i'm