Union and American. [volume] (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1875-1877, 1877-05-10
HOW SHE FOOLED HIM.

anu sue Ieailzcu Tue huBean tese
before her on the morrow. With
her mind full Of her'sselfimposed
task she went to sleep. At days
light she swoke and at once began
to operate. Her victim was lying
with BIZ. back towards her. appar-
emily in . sound sleep. She poked
him vigorously in the ribs with her
sharp elbow aud clawed his shius
with her toe-nails, preparatory to
start.ing him with half-whisper-
ed warning. c
"John-oh, John--there's come
one ringing the door-bell.' =
4 "Lem i'm ring Was the sleepy
response.
But, John, maybe it's the man
on the next square who owes you
that 800 come TO pay you
No faint, neither, said John,
with q yawn. u a... ~ ?
But you don't know, and it may
be that may be that very man.
Il guess not, for he's buried /;
died last week. Besides, old
woman. your ears deceive you. !
took the belI>knob off last night
to TOOL April>foolers,
Heavens, what a mess she made
OF it to begin with! But wher the
old man rolled out Of bed, yawned
and picked up bis pans she ram
med the sheet in her mouth TO
plug up her laughter.
sob, jimmy, wont he tumble
when he puts his foot in them
pants and finds the legs sewed up!
she said to herself.
Judge Of her rage when the pro>
voking brute .innocently carried
the blocksded breeches INTO the
wardrobe and inquired:
t'Nancy, where's them chocolate
colored pantsI had on last week.
"Put on the ones you have in
your hands, John, what's the mat
ter with them!"
II burst button off yesterday,
and theyneed mending."
At breakfast she poured out a
nice cup of coffee for him and
sweetened it with two spoonfuls Of
salt.
'You needn't give me any coffee
he said: keep ltat yourself
why, John, what's the matter!
This is the first time we were mar
ried you refused Coffee"
"The blamed stuff hes made me
nervous lately; and, as this is the
first of the month, | thought Id
break of and only drink it for sup
per. You keep that yourself"
When he came home to dilner
she had prspered him a neatly-di'
rected envelop with sheet Of blank
paper enclosed within. lie eyed
,it suspiciously, and throwing II
into the fre, said: q,
Il know that handwriting Its
from that crazy lunatic Who wants
me 70 vote for him Tomorrow.
So much for his letter 'o'
In the evening she disguised her
self in one Of her husbands old
suits and came TO the door to
be- for cha ity.
+ "Piease give me nickel to buy
some bread" ayntaam N
"Get cut, or Ill give you a
nickel with my boot aii1 D,
"trt, I'll, consider. I'm starving
"1te tt,il you are! Nov, III
bet yp ,$tt against the suit of
clothes ytv Stsrsthat you are an
lf~ ,Ia9Ia b.
"put sii |---1------n..vaa1 30
ipt'H l SeIe'tf search you now /
sht uldL'tte stiErised to find you
loaded with wealth. For twd
cents | Ntuid see."
"tcr Heavens sake e'---.- .uay
49, snow, nonerof your soft-soap
on me. don'S believe in beggars.
Here, you policeman, take this
inferpal impostor to the station" "
just as the 'peolerG grabbed the
imposed beggsr by the back Of
the neck q shtill voice yelled: 1ol
"John! John! you wouldn't send
your wife to the statlon.house
would youS' ,sttaf ef
"The h---iI wsalin''i! pas the
TOOL response. At'AOybOdy twho
les 60 issa sbeassa Hdoor~boll
Iews up my trousers, puts salt In
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