The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1877-01-25

COLLEGE w WISDOM.~COIleSe DoyS dio
generally full of fun, and have keen
appreciation of the weaknesses and fol.
lies not only of each other, but of boys
of larger growth. This quality some
of them preserve through life. An in
stance in point: The Alumni Associa-
ton of Yale College lately held an annu-
al thanksgiving jubilee, at which W. G;
Sultier, Of the class of 1870, delivered
what is facetiously called the Sermon"
saying that as some time had passed
since the aggregate body before him had
been born, he would briefly and general
ly review the mercies which had been ac-
corded to Yale College during the past
1876 years, and give thanks for all: Ask
ing what there was in the recent history
of Yale graduates be thankful for the
serm onizersans@ himself by saying
':Not much ;Sbnt what had been done was
good; we furnished Mr.. Beecher with
lawyer who split the jurymen only, so
that ragged edge was left, but not a
man hurt. Laughter. Then we have
set up a pretty good sort of man for
President Of the United States. To be
sure, he didn't graduate ;-butif he had
what man he would have been. He
isn't IN able man, nor a brilliant man,
nor an eminent man, nor financier, nor
diplomat, nor a statesman, nor anything
of that sort. But he's good. Derisivc
laughter He isn't elected, but then he
is likely to live on board wages at the
White House for the next four years.
We don't expect him to do much, but
then we ought to be thankful for even,
little things. Laughter. Then there's
Chamberlain. Dersve cheers. He's
sunny, but he's amazingly deep! And
he's good! Laughter He don't say
much but he's quietly working away re-
generating South Carolina and elccting
Tiden. Laughter and cheers. Then
there's Waite, quietly weighing the scales
of justice; and Taft, peddling out opin-
ions; and lot more standing about in
government circles with their hands in
somebody else's pockets. Uproarious
laughter They are not doing much"
BROWNS MATRIMONIAL METHODS
"Brown, don't know how it is that your
girls all marry off as soon as they get old
enough, while none of mine can marry"
oh, that's simple enough. l marry
my girls off on the buckwheat straw
principle"
"But what is that principle? I never
heard of it before"
"Well, l used to raise q good deal of
buckwheat, and it puzzled me to know
how to get rid of the straw. Nothing
would eat it, and it was great bother to
me. At last thought of a plan. /
stacked my buckwheat straw nicely and
built a high rail-fence around it. My
cattle, of course, concluded that it was
something good, and at once tore down
the fence and began to eat the straw. l
dogged them away and put up the fence
few times, but the more [ drove them
away the more anxious they became to
eat the straw, and eat it they did, every
bit of it. As I said, I marry my girls off
on the same principle. When a young
man that don't like begins calling on
my girls encourage him in every way /
can. sell him to come often and stay
as late as he pleases, and take pains to
hint to the girls that | think they'd betss
ter set their caps for him. Itworks first
rate. He don't make many calls, for
the girls treat him as coolly as they can.
But when a young fellow | like comes
around, man that I think would suit
me for son.in-law, 1 don't let him make
many calls before give him to under
stand that he isn't wanted around my
house. 1 tell the girls, too, that they
shall not have anything to do with him,
and give them orders never to. speak to
him again. The plan always works first
rate. The young folks begin to pitch
into each other, and the next thing |
know they arc engaged to be married.
When see that they are determined to
marry, | always give in and pretend to
make the best of it, That's the way [
manage i. u tL:.1", Telegraph.