The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1877-11-30
WIT AND HUMOR.

SPELL wife with two letters-Yf.
A BARE spot-The Northern pole.
A FIGHTING dog-A West Pointer.
THE fourth of a mana quarter mas
ter.
"ARosE," by another name. would be
"got up."
"M1sERY loves company" So does a
manageable young lady.
THE worst bank to be wrecked on is
one OF the savings variety.
THE man who said he was out ON a
lark was really out on swallow.
SOME men are like bass drum, the
more hollow they are, the louder the
noise they make.
A DETROIT man who has been stone
deaf for eighteen years was recently
taken into court for hearing.
THE man who writes an illegible hand
never reads his own letters. "That is
the other fellows business" he says.
IT is astonishing how soon man ac-
knowledges his mistake when he puts
the lighted end of a cigar in his mouth.
Or all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest these, IL might have BEEN
But OF all sad words to beats" and tramps,
The saddest are these. "Im out OF stamps"
The "Lady Slipper" is the name of
vessel just launched at Boston. She
must be intended for the whaling SER
vice.
"MY Lord" said the foreman of a
Welsh jury, when giving in the verdict,
"we find the man who stole the mare
not guilty"
A PENNSYLVANIA child is said to in
herit the eyes and nose of its father, but
the cheek of his uncle, who is an insur-
ance agent.
81 HOPE this hand is not counterfeit ?"
said lover, as he was toying with his
sweetheart's hand. "The best way to
find out is to ring t?" was the reply.
SIMKNs playfully remarked to his
wife that he had four fools: Beautifool,
dutifool. youthfool, and delightfool.
"Poor meP' said she; "I have but
one."
A FATHER of three sons and five daugh-
tiers was asked what family he had. The
answer was: 81 have three sons, and
they have each five sisters" mercy |"
replied the interrogation, "suoh fam
lily !"
"WHo is your warmest friend ?" asked
the teacher. "My mother" yelled one
of the boys. "Your mother?" eyes,
she warns me every dayl" The teach
er has given up her missionary work.
Chicago Journal.
In struggling to make dull-brained
boy understand what conscience Is, a
teacher finally asked, "What makes you
feel uncomfortable after you have done
wrong2" "The big leather strap" feel
ingly replied the boy.
AN invalid Frenchman who hired a
horse every evening from livery stable
keeper particularly desired the hostler to
see that the horse had nothing to eat for
dinner. Because" he remarked,
monsieur lie docteur he say mus tax
re gentle exercise on re empty stomach"
"THIs is George the Fourth, 4" said an
exhibitor of wax-work for the million at
penny each, pointing to very slim
figure with theatrical crown on
his head. ct thought he was very
stout man." observed spectator.
Very likely" replied the man, short
ly, not approving of the comment of his
visitor; "but if you'd been here with
out whites half so long as he has, you'd
been twice as thin"
IRIS just as TELL you, Mrs. Brinker;
nay own husband saw 'em with his two
eyes, an heard 'em as plain as see that
bile on your nose at this minute, an he
says that the long an the short of it was
that they was both comm out of church
by different aisles, an met by accident,
as you might say, at the door, when Tom
speaks up for politeness, an says, Nice
evenin', and she snaps out, full O. spite,
No, stree 7 an now she's maxim her
brags that she'd give him the mitten."-
Cincinnati Breakfast Table.