The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1877-04-04
The .Chokist.

cGUSS CnOElSt. ...
He is genius that has been known
in all ages of the world but it has prob
ably remained for the nineteenth centu-
,ry and the year of our Lord 1877 to
show him in all his wonderful develop
ment, although it is just barely posi-
BILE that he may make some progress
yet, but we consider him now as per:
feet, Or as nearly so as possible. We
have seen the critter, as have all OF our
readers, but for the benefit of the rising
generation We will describe him. We
met him one day last week and. his
name was Well no matter about his
name, as it is just as likely to be one
thing as another, but for convenience
we will call it Jones'. He was in con-
versation with his neighbor Smith, the
subject was politics and both men were
considerably interested.
Says Smith, I believe Chat in Hayes
this country has got a first class man
One that wilt
Jones: O, I twigged that three
months ago, and I told 'em If Tilden
was elected we would have war inside
of three months.
Smith,: Well I hardly
Jones: Certainly; We couldn't have
lodged it, and now unless we have
radical change in the administration I
am satisfied that the government will
be Mexicanized, or that we will have
monarchy. .
Smith: It seems to me-
Jones. Exactly what / have always
said and sixteen years ago, when Lin
coin was elected, I told EN- how it
would be, and now they begin to see
that I was right. .,":
Smith: l consider Lincoln-
Jones: So did I, but you see what
a muss they have made Of it and now
what we want is responsible admin
istration. If we don't have it soon
this sort of thing can't last, you know,
and we are going direct to the devil
and no help for it. ....s -. -.
Smith: But I honestly believe
Jones: Exactly what I told Skidmore
the other day and he agreed with me
that reform was absolutely necessary,
4 and something we must have. If we
can't get it without, am strongly in
favor Of going down there and upset
ting the whole business by putting in a
new set of men. 49,.
Smith: But Think
We did not stop to learn echat he
thought for, as usual, Jones put in an
appearance and choked him off. We
know to certainty what we thought
Jones was still defining his position
when we left and Smith was still trying
to define his and getting ehoked down
as often as he opened his mouth, with
the most disgusting regularity: The
chances were largely in favor of Jones
Now, that the above style of CONVEX
sation is particularly edifying we dom
think, though we can't help but believ'
that it has soothing effect on thu
nerves Of Smith. We listened half al
hour, perhaps, and made an estimate
of the number of times Smith was fair
~ choked down, and find it figures IL"
times, and we conclude that in the en-
Jones had the argument. @s H..
We rather admire Jones and, there
fore, give our young men some genera
directions to enable such of them a
wish to become FIRST class chokist
(some, people would spell i. asses)
fair start. n
LIST, If you are conversirg with MAJ
old enough to be your grand father,
is the correct thing to address him a
cold man. or,,"your right there, oil
chap
I'd, Never let him do quite half tn
talking, for being old, Of course, h
ought to know better.
Sd, IF conversing with man of you
own age, keep your eye on. him and
you see indications that he is about
speak you must chip in very quick
otherwise he may get start and max
It difficult to choke. him of.
18th, In conversation do not stop 7
- take breath, under any circumstance!
as it sometimes gives the person 20
oaa.o nae ;th IN adxantane which sorn