, 1877-01-21
NAMING THE TWINS.

| 'AdE Adeter in !Heto Fork Weeklv.
friend Of Buttcrwick's, who staid at h
house short time after the twins we're bor1
overheard the following conversation bctwce
the fond parents one night after all hands ha
retired; He WAS in the adjoining room:
Mrs. B.-What shall re call the twins, Henri
dear!
| 30 dunno. Almost any good names
How would Moses and Aaron tloa or Cain m,
Abela
Mrs. B.-You ought to be ashamed of your
self to want to name one Of your own childrel
alter murderer! You might hare hunted til.
| whole Bible through without finding anything
worse!
30, well, call them shadrach, Meshach
and Abednego then.
Mrs. B.-You know very we'll that there arf
only two twins, and that they can't have three
| names divided equally between them. / hate
| Scripture names any how. 7 want to call them
after some distinguished mar1.
B.-Well, name one OF them Butler and the
other schurz.
Airs. BID rather die on the spot than have
a child OF mine named after m undergarmenr
B,-How'u Bismarck and GortschakoG suit
you7
Airs B.-Butterwick, you know can't abide
those German names. You would infict curse
On YOUR innocent boy If you would send him
through the world with such a name as Bismarck
Butterwick. You know very well you would
prefer an American name. One that belongs
to this country.
B:-Very we'll, then, call one of them Spotted
Tail and the other aole-in-the-Day. Those are
indigenous to this continent.
Mrs: B. Mr.. Butterwick, If you are going to
turn the subject into ridicu]e, I will get up and
oAofur
insult nc to my fure, anyhow. You know well
enough that / meant some white American
name
BLOW would Smith and Jones answera
Mrs. Ed rather bury both Of them In one
graye. ;st.a WY dont yon suggest some distfn~
30, all right; there's Benedict Arnold and
Mrs. B.-Thcy shall never have those names
with mv consent.
!? Mrs. B.-That's only one name, and there are
two babies.
:. B.-well, call one IA" and the other
Mrs B.-Mr. Butteruick, il you use languare
Ike that again III go home to mothers this very
b-Wel], then, If Jon must hare the names Of
celebrated Americans, call one stTilly Slowboy''
and the other "Toodlcs"
Mrs. B.-Were they prominent mena I don't
B.-Why, my dear, they both signed the
Declaration Of Independence, and SloWboy was
Vicc-President under Washington. II you want
straight-out revolutionary patriots, those are
your men.
Mrs. B.-What did Mr.. Toodles doa
B.-Louisa, am surprised at your ignorance!
Don't you know that he commanded at Valley
Forge!
Mrs. B.-I don't think much of their names,
anyhow. Say over some Others.
B;-Lemme see. Well, now, there's Mcphis-
tophcles, and
Mrs. B.--What did you say he did!
B.-Did? Why he commanded the figate
Constitution IN the war OF lS11, and he was
killed while mailing the American dag to the
mast.
Mrs. B.-And you want to name ono Of your
children after hins
B.-Certainly. Why nots Noble old patriot!
Did he not die In defense Of Why, Louisa, |
what are you going to do!
Mrs: B.-Why, Pm going to quit this house
and take the twins with me, and stay away for
ever. I know just as well rs yon do TINT !
Mcphistopholes Is another na1ne for the devil. |
I've seen him at the opera It is perfectly in- /
amous for you to suggest such q name for !
sour own flesh aud blood. ]. don't believe in !
four Slowboys or Toodles either. I'm certain
hat you have been telling srandalo GUS stories,
Ind now I'm going to Leave.
Then ButterwicE was heard to use 4 persuasive |
one with Mrs. B., and finally she made it up
With him. The twins were eventually baptized
[Ohn and Henry