The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1877-06-02
HE CAME FROM BOSTON.

On Saturday graduate of a Massa.
chusetts College called at the Tribune office,
and, allowing bis personal identity to sur
mount his three, story mansard collar, stated
that he desired lucrative engagement.
He produced several testimonials as to his
ability, such as his diploma, his gradual
ing essay on "The Mental characteristics
of GRECO h@nician Philosophy" his Com
mencement Grafton on the "The Ethics of
Biology" and some contributions enriched
with Greek quotations aud statistics worked
out by the dfferential calculus) to the COL
lege paper on the plan for building a new
boat house. The editor politely asked him
what place he preferred on the paper, and
the young man replied that he was not par
ticular. "Of course said he, "my cul-
ture and self-respect forbid that should
squander my intellectual wealth on mat
tiers of news, conventions, MURDERS and
the like. They are vulgar and evanescent.
Thought, mind, culture, these alone are
pure, lofty and eternal Nor should l care
to write miserable partisan editorials, bar
tering my God-given independence for the
approving grin of Granger or an Alder
man." The editor asked him with some
asperity what he would like TO do then.
ooh, to direct the paper" replied the visitor
"The profession of journalism is-or might
be made-a high and holy one, if it enlisted
fresh, vigorous, and cultured minds like
,ain n %
course. attended to by subordinates, and
-' "Very WELL" replied the editor
"consider yourself engaged as managing
editor at $4,000 year. Take my chair
and run things, must go out and see
man." He went, and the gentleman from
Boston assumed charge. Almost instantly
man appeared, and, saying, "The new
editor, Ipresume? asked for copy. "Ha,"
said the new editor, "let me see-these
articles on the Southern Policy and
'The Next Session are ephemeral-put
them in the waste basket. Here is an arti-
Gle containing fearful disclosures of polit-
cal corruption-that can't 60 in; it tends to
debauch and sicken the sensitive mind. o,
this essay on "Hyperbolic Hydrogyny'
from the Psychic Zuarterly-put that in.
Prof. Clemens and the other eminent minds
of Boston will read it with delight. will
write a review of it. Do you want any
more?" "Well, not at present; that will
make twenty-seven columns" said the fore
man, and retired to make room for big
man, who said, "You are the responsible
editor ?" 81 am" "Then, sir, for the
slanderous insinuations in your article of
to day propose to horsewhip you on sight,
unless an abject apology is at once made.
Will you apologize? Before the Boston
man could reply, another big man armed
with an axe handle pranced lightly in and
placing slip of paper before him, said:
"Did you write that?" "No" faltered
the Boston man. "Then who did 2" az
Il don't know" "You lie! J" fiercely re-
piled the second big man, splitting on his
hands. Here third big man entered, and,
drawing revolver, said calmly: "You
promised to retract or fight at 5 o'clock.
Which is it?" "O," said the Boston man,
".just excuse me one minute" and he
slipped lightly out and was stealing down
stairs, when he met the editor, chewing a
Glove. What's'up? Where are you GO
ing without your hat, in such hurry"
asked he. "By all the gods in the heather
mythology" gasped the Boston man
"there are three brutal ruffians up in your
ROOM" "How many?" said the editor.
"Three." "Only three; well, come along;
we'll clean 'em out. Take my bowie knife
and rip your man up; I'll shoot the other
two." "Laureled Cesar ~ said the Bos-
ton man; "does this sort of thing happen
often?" ooh, no; there's rarely more
than two to handle at once" "Then l
resign said the Boston man. "There's
too much of the sensational in Western
journalism. Twill 60 out and get mouth
full of fresh air and pray for your success.
If you remember it before you die, please
throw me out my hat A few minutes
later the Boston mans white hat came
sailing down through the air maiestically.
1t had about seventy five dents and holes
in it, and was spotted with carmine in sew
eral places. 1t was shocking bad hat,
and the Boston man, as he took it, shud-
dered and said, at must have been fear
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