The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1877-09-27
The Domestic Man.

There is an old saying that a surgical
operation is necessary TO enable a
Scotchman to enjoy ajoke; but il would.
we think, require a very prolonged and
sever course Of treatment before the
ordinary domestic-minded man could
be brought 20 comprehend that he
could, by any conceivable possibility,
be In the way. lie believes firmly and
serenely that every woman in the whole
world would rather talk TO a man than
to Il woman, and is absolutely oblivious
Of the fact that there is a time for all
things. without entering into the
large question of the undOubted mutual
attraction of the sexes for each other, IL
may surely be conceded hat women do
occasionally, not to say frequently, like
10 talk TO their own sex on divers topics
mutually interesting. But the truly
prehend this, and bOres his wife and
all her friends TO extinction by re-
naming persistently in the drawing
room, and believing he is comforting a
boon upon them by his presence, when
all the time they are dying to get rid of
him, and to talk of their own concerns.
fhe was not so self-satisfed he could
hardly fail to comprehend the very
broad hints that are occasionally given
him by some visitor more audacious
than the rest as to the desirability of
his absence; but he remains serenely
impervious, and really believes hat his
wife's friends like calling upon her all
the better for having the advantage of
talking to him. Even if, on their arri-
val, he happens to be in his own proper
sphere, in the library or in the smoking
room, and the friends, profiting by so
rare an opportunity, rush into a stream
of confidential chatter, delightful to the
soul of womankind, the treat is of but
short duration; the faintest sound of
the visitors bell reaches him at any
distance, and he at once makes his APP
pearance on the scene, to the utter de-
struction of a comfortable tete-a-tete.
To endeavor to make him comprehend
this is but lost labor; that true old say
ing as to the number that is really COM
pany has never penetrated the density
of his brain, and it is beyond his mental
grasp to perceive that conversation
which might be delightful in tete-a-tete.
or interesting and sparkling in a larger
party, is invariably languishing and
dull when undertaken a trOiS.
He generally is a man loving the
sound of his own voice, and monOpoli-
yes the major portion of the cOnversa-
ton, holding forth lengthily on the
Eastern question to a lady who is long
ing to talk bonnets or society to his wife,
and who wishes him in Bulgaria with
the Bashi-Bazouks; or pressing away to
a mar who certainly did not take the
trouble of paying a morning visit for
the pleasure of talking to him, and who
chafes considerably at finding a person
he really came to see reduced to a sim
pie lay figure. But the domestic man
is before all things ineffably conceitcd,
and sincerely believes that it is to him
that visits are paid; that any one would
really prefer to talk to his wife never
enters into his calculation of possibili-
ties.
He is the delight of a certain number
of twaddling old ladies, chiefly OF the
maiden persuasion, who have, naturally
enough, no conception of what is OF is
not manly, and who perpetually sing
his praises as $50 delightfully."- domes-
tic" and would be amazed and scandal
lied if they knew how devotedly his
wife sometimes wished that he would go
to his club, or anywhere instead of her
drawing room. Though not a great adj
mirer of Mr.. Martin Upper, she fer
vently recognizes the wisdom of one
axiom in his "Proverbial Philosophy"
on 'matrimony'--"Be not always in each
others company; it is sometimes good
to be alone"-and signs as she thinks
that such good is to her absolutely I'M
attainable.
1t is only a quiet and steady wife who
ever has such a husband as the domestic
man a fast one would very speedily
emancipate herself from the thraldom,
and tell him plainly that he was not
wanted. But a good wife, who loves
her husband ever Sc dearly, may be par
doned if she cast an almost envious eye
on the freedom of her less gentle sisters,
when she feels that at no moment of the
day is she ever alone, free to read,
write or think, as seemeth to her good.
For the domestic man cannot do any
thing alone; if he writes a letter he
must recite portions and discuss the
choice of words; and even if, as is
frequently the case, he adopts his wife's
suggestions, he never gives her the
credit of them.