The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1877-12-13
A Young Man From Keokuk Takes
Smoke.


1t was on a Burlington and Cedar
Rapids train. The tall passenger. when
he got on, was in that happy frame of
mind that doesn't care whether Con-
gress is in session or not. He held ON
to the railing very carefully as he climb
ed into the smoking-car, and appeared
to be little annoyed at being the object
of general attention. He ceased to
smile and assumed an expression Of
profound thought and dignity, and back
ing into a seat with great elaboration,
sat down in mans lap. He got up in
some confusion, and when he shot into
the adjoining seat, he Strengthened him
self up and assured himself that 1t was
unoccupied by carefully feeling all over
the cushion with his hands. He then
made an elaborate apology to the wrong
man for sitting down in his lap, and cast
a stern, but withal an unsteady glance
up and down the car, TO reproaeh or.
repress the smiles that were going
round.
For he was not the kind of n man to
be laughed at. He was well dressed and
had certain air of dignity about him
that, under ordinary circumstances,
would command respect. He sat still
for few moments and then took off his
hat and hung it up a few inches outside
the rack, and was apparently amazed
to see it reach the seat before he did
Presently the entrance of the train boy
bearing a box of the soothing Indian
weed, reminded him of something, and
he dived into his vest pocket and brought
forth half a dozen matches, and then he
dived into an inside coat pocket for the
other materials necessary to a cOmforta-
BILE smoke.
He had great difficulty at the very
outset, biting off the end of his cigar.
He was little undecided, to begin with,
which end to bite off. lie turned it over
and over in his fingers and looked at
this end and that, but finally came to
decision and acted upon il promptly. 1t
was little tough, but he chewed
away at it manfully and persistently and
got it off at last Then he spit the end
fieroely against the window, and when it
Just struck against the clear glass in
stead of going clear through, he looked
foolish, and rubbed it off with his hand
kerchief.
His smoking did not progress very
rapidly. He couldn't make the old
thing work. Ii wouldn't light well. 1t
didn't seem to draw, and his agonized
grimaces, rs he pulled and sucked at it,
were enough to make a snake laugh.
But nobody in the car dared laugh very
loud, for every time the tall passenger
heard litter, he would pause, and
holding the smoking material in one
hand the burning match in the other,
and glare around the car in the most
fOrbidding manner, until the titteri'
ceased, or the match burned his tin5.
He soon burned up all the matchS
had, and then, casting his eyes ale
forsome one of whom to borrow a III.
he spied the train-boy, smoking liz
volcano, and beckoned him up.
&" Gimme light, young man, if yO-
please he said
{" Light?n demanded the astouished
monopolist, "light? What We want a
light for?''
For my c-c-cigar," replied the tail
passenger, with great gravity.
Smothered laughter went UP all
around the car, and the train-boy, drop
ping into a seat in his hysterical excite
ment, threw up his hands, and fairly
/ shouted,
"Cigar? Oh, bloody Nero, that is a
banana you're q tryin' to smoke!"
The tall passenger bent a glance OF
calm contempt upon the shouting boy
and the writhing passengers that filed
the car with an oppressive silence, and
/ then, in tones of conscious and superior
wisdom he said,
can don't | know that, young MANI
OF c-c-cOurse it is. | n-neveI s-s-smOke
any other kind. It's a genuine ham
made imported banana, an dom you
forgiz it,"
Then the passengers threw their hats
fiercely on the floor, and climbed up on
the backs of the seats and in. one wild
maddening howl of laughter, lifted the
roof clear off the car.-BurliBgt01s
HQ1CkeVe.