The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1877-05-18
TRU1 Hs AND TRIFLEs.


To keep the feetdry-Stand on your
head.
Why is candle like tombstone
Because it is often set for "late hus-
band"
Lord Overstone, Of London, is so
sick that he lives handsomely on the in
terest of his interest.
What is the difference between
Christian and a Cannibal? ? One enjoys
himself, and the other enjoya other peo-
pie.
A Jewish journal learns that after
FIVE years labor and the expenditure of
$45, 600, the American missionaries in the
wealthy city of Wuchu, China, have
converted only three persons from Budd-
hism.
"A gentleman in company asked his
friend for a potato, and ON its being
sent, his friend said - have sent you
nice mealy one" Thank you" said
the other, "you could not have sent me
melior !" (be;ter)
A gentleman from Chicago called
upon Mr.. Emerson the other day and in
troduced himself with the remark
hope don't intrude." That depends"
ssid the philosopher, "upo1 how much
we have in common. - Chicago TliJuac.
"Can you see me, dear ," said a
Chicago man to his dying wife. Tell
me, can you see me-" "No, she family
whispered, "but can smell your
breath"
THE rapid increase Of steamers on the
chain of northern lakes is the feature of
the lake trade during the last three
years. The number employed in 1876
is reported to have been ss5, their ton
mage being 19O,367. The number Of
sailing vessels has fallen off heavily, de-
creasing from 3,20S, in 1872 TO 1873;
the tonnage, however, not going down in
quite the same proportion, but 10 slisll-
an extent that there were 2OO,OO tons
less m the trade last year than in 1872.
The change from sail TO steam % the
great lakes is full Of encouragement to
New York.
Miss Jennie Collins, of Boston, the
working-girls' friend, gives some startling
samples of shop girls wages in that city
twenty-five cents a dozen for fsucy
aprons, two days work, and twenty cents
a day on an average at some better kinds
Of work. These are figures TO daIh
the exultstion over the bargains" re-
warding thrifty shopping just now.
Think of bargain out of some sisters
shame or starvation.
Near Prospect street she dropped a
little red bow with a gold pin attached,
and it futtered 10 the edge of the side
walk. She stopped and looked at il. 1t
might as well have Auttered to the edge
of the universe and dropped over for
anything she could do TO get it. She
walked around it two or three times,
gazed sadly at it, and then walked a
block to Bolivar street, got small boy
and paid him ten cents TO come back an
pick up that bow. AS the boy rejoined
his companions he remarked, 1 never
saw woman so proud. She wouldn't
pick up her own things from the side
walk" But il wasn't pride.
"A Ia st. Louis hotel: Guest, hear
ing and smelling flame, rushes forth from
apartment in alarm. Meets landlord.
Landlord tranquilizes guest, thus: "tio
back to your room my good fellow.
There's no fire." Guest gses back. More
smoke and flames blaze before the win
dow. Guest again rushes out. Again
Consolation from landlord: my dear
fellow, 90 back to your room. There's
no cause for alarm. Don't start
panic" Guest goes back. Rushes out
again. Shirt on FIRE. Meets landlord
who remarks, My dear fellow, / told
you you'd come to a bad end IL you
didn't keep cool" Guest returns to
room and burns up.
The New York Tribune is responsible
for the following pleasant tales Of Par
isian life: At the last opera ball,
when the dancers had departed, the
watchmen on making their rounds,
found the body Of well-dressed Lady in
one of the private boxes. She had been
stabbed, but whether her death was due
10 suicide or murder Is not stated. A
radical died at Beziers and his brethren
resolved to give him downright civil
burial. They followed him 10 the grave
with pipes in their mouths and bottles
under their arms. As soon as the body
was lowered into the grave, the mourners
began singing and drinking, and, having
exhausted their liquors, threw the empty
bottles on TO the coffin, exclaiming ITEMS,
voila ia partl' Then they went back z
the wine-shops."
NEW YORK is going in for Mardi
Gras. A sort of club has been formed
and at an early day there viii be two
professions, the first comprising one
thousand wagons and over ten Thousand
workinOmen. The noctural effort will
present living history Of noteworthy
American events, with display OF aiie-
oor;cal and historical tableaux on
q Aoats.D ID be drawn by elephants,
camels and horses. The animals are 70
be illuminated by gas jets, supplied with
gutta-percha tubes running along their
harness. On these floats will be repre-
sented America as it was, landing Of Col
umbus, landing Of the Norsenen, Fenns
treat. tea ship, call Of Putnam declars'
tom Of Independence, Mexico. Nc"
York as IL was, Washington crossing 'ne
peleware, JackHon at New Orleans any