Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1877-10-04

Two TERRIBLE FRIENDS. tell a
good story on one of the boys who lives at
Mineral Mill, and who happened to arrive
in town during the progress of the late inau-
euration ball. His social instincts prompted
him to attend, but his attire was not quite up
to the mark, and he applied to friend for the
necessary articles of apparel. The friend
consented with some reluctance, and, array
ed in borrowed plumes, our hero engaged IN
the festivities. The owner of the garments
watched him as he treaded the mazy dance,
and after it was over, and he had esconced
himself in seat by the side of a fair charmer,
approached him and broke loose with the
following remark: "See here, D., them
pants is new, and I wish you wouldn't set
down and make knees in them" D
came very near tainting from modification,
and abruptly left the hall, followed by SYM
pathiziug friend who had overheard the re-
mark, and felt sorry for his embarrassment.
D. stripped off those pants, and after much
solicitation accepted the loan of another pair
from his new.found friend, and, after some
hesitation returned to the ball room and soon
forgot his troubles in the smiles of the com.
pany of the fair dancers. A polka was called
on. He was on the floor with the belle OF
the evening, skipping and hopping as grace
fully as that exhilarating dance would permit,
until out of breath, he promenaded, with his
fair part ner on his arm, in close proximity to
the owner of the breeches, who had been
looking on in evident delight at the abandon
of the wearer, and as he came by him he gave
vent to his pleasure by slapping D. on the
shoulder and exclaiming: "Go it, old feller; /;
burst the breeches if you want to ; l don't care
a cent as long as you enjoy yourself" D
dropped his partner and rushed for the depot
Just in time to catch the trsin.-Enreka (Neu.) }
Sentinel.
A TRAMp's MAx1Ms-In the hip pocket
of an old vagrant pulled in by the police the
other night, was a memorandum book full Of
his own writing with pencil, and some of his
philosophyis good enough to be preserved:
drinking bad whisky because it is offered
free is like getting in the way of bullets pur-
chased by an enemy"
"Honesty is the best policy, but some per.
SONS are satisfied with second best. 1t is hard
to be honest on an empty stomach"
"a dry plank under rain-proof shed, Is
better than feather bed in Jail, and one
isn't annoyed by the jailor bringing in a
square breakfast"
PAY as you go. Ifyou haven't anything
to pay with, don't 60. If you are forced to
20, record every Indebtedness and let your
heirs settle the bills"
"We should have charity for all. When
the winter winds blow cold and drear, we
should pity the poor fellows in India who are
having red-hot weather"
"Politeness costs nothing, but it is not ex-
pected that you will wake man up at mid.
night 10 ask permission to 60 through his hen
house. 1t is more courteous to let him enjoy
his needed repose."
"When you pick up an apple core, don't find
fault because it is not the apple itself, but be
satisfied with the grade of descent. Do not
be ashamed ofyour occupation. We cannot
all be lords, nor can we all be vagrants. AS
I cannot be lord should not lament at be-
ing vagrant. Be truthful and outspoken-
that is, tell 'en, you are Chicago fire sufferer.
Be hopeful, cheerful, and good natured.
Growing won't cure sore heel."-Detroit
Free Press.