davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01
THE UNWELCOME NAN.

The exercise of some of our human
sympathies, or of little bit of philos-
ophy, will enable us to endure the
foibles or ill-manners of almost every
class of people with whom we come in
contact. We can easily arm ourselves
against the tale bearer and the untruth-
full; we can be amused with our neigh
boris egotism; can tolerate him who as
sumes to be wiser or more learned than
ourselves; we can take conceit for
exactly what it is worth, and forget in a
moment any ones display of vanity.
But what can we do with the habitual
intruder?
He is fellow of blunt perceptions
and unrestrained impulses, who pays no
attention to occasion or circumstance,
and who never learns to respect the
sacredness of the rights of any man un-
fortunate enough to have made his ac-
quaintance. He became acquainted by
some means which you probably have
forgotten through lack of interest in the
event, and he follows it up by intro
ducing troops of his own kind whom
you do not wish to know. If you prefer
at any time to be alone, then "you are
the very man he has been looking for, ,
and he tumbles himself unconcernedly
into your company and starts a converse
ton in which you have not the slightes
interest and with which you do not wisl
to be bothered. If you meet casually il
public place, he addresses you loudl,
by name, and blurts out some perhap
we'll intended but unwelcome allusion
: your business. Should he discover yo
, in the company of little circle c
{ chosen friends, he thrusts himself in uI
| invited, breaks the thread of your col
{ versation, and opens out on some stupi
t topic of his own. He may hope b
r "don't intrude," and then take yor
:. sickly but polite Oh, mop for a cordi;
d welcome, and bore you, until the con
# pany separates in desperation. If
# meets you in society he assumes
r familiarity you do not care to acknow
e edge, or he impertinently listens to evel
d word and watches every attention W
N pay to others, in his effort to guage Il
n extent of your intimacy with them.
st Almost every class of Western socie
is full of him. You can guard again
him when his characteristics are W,
a. known, but like religion, he is son
as thing you have to experience before y
UT | Lunw
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01
Mark Twain's Military Experience.

Mr.. Mark Twain in speech at the
dinner of the Ancient Artillery Com
pany, of Hartford, the other day,
describes with serious simplicity his
military experience in Missouri in the
early days of the war. His company
of eleven men bivouacked in a barn, and
waited for the invader. I'VE had
good enough time there at that barn.
barring the rain and the rats, and the
mosquitoes and things. We lived on
both parties impartially, and both
parties hated us impartially. But one
day we heard that the invader was
approaching, so we had to pack up and
move. Inside of twenty-four hours the
invader was coming again; so We
moved again. And the next day he was
after us once more. We did't like it
much, but we moved rather than to
make trouble. This went on for week
or ten days, and We saw considerable
scenery. Then Ben Tupper lost patience.
"He says, WAR is not what it's
cracked up to be. Pm going home If L
can't ever get a chance to sit down a
| minute There was mutiny and dis
fatisfaction all around, and, of course,
here come the enemy Fostering us again,
| two hours-more than two hours-before
breakfast, and nobody wanted to turn
out at that hour. / detached one of
my aids and sent him to the brigadier,
and asked him to assign us to district
where there wasn't bother going on. He
sent back an indignant message. He
said: Stay where you are at this time
or 1 win court-martial and hang ever
one of you.' Said the orderly sergeant :
IF Tom Harris wants the enemy, let
him come here and get him. l haven't
got any use for my share, Who's Tom
Harris any way, that putting on SC
many frills? Why, l knew him when
he wasn't anything but a telegraph
operator. Gentleman, you can do as
you choose. AS for me, Eve got enough
of this sashaying around. So off goes
my war paint. You hear meg The
whole regiment said; That's the tals
. for us So then and there, on the spot
my brigade disbanded itself"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

negro race, it furnishes the exact text
for discussion of the Indian question.
1t may sound heartless to say, as some
have said, that dead Indian is the best
Indian, but it is true nevertheless.
While the Indians have no doubt been
wronged by rascally traders and ruffianly
frontiersmen, the fact remains that even
when we'll treated they are treacherous
and murderous in disposition. The tes-
timony of army officers and plainsmen,
who have spent their lives among them,
is all to the effect that the Indian knows
nothing of gratitude, but will rob and
kill even those who have saved him from
starvation, and the higL-toned savage,
with nice sense of honor, is figment of
the remancer's brain.
Men like Col. E. C. Boudinot, himself
a half-blood Cherokee, do not hesitate to
express the opinion that there are but
two solutions to the Indian problem.
One is absolute determination, as Mr..
Clay points out in the case of the negro,
and the other is by amalgamation. Col.
Boudinot claims that the wild Indian
can never be tanned, nor brought to
adapt himself to the pursuits of civiliza-
ton, and that only by mingling of
white blood can his nature be so modi-
fed as to make him a safe factor in the
population of the country. Extermina-
ton could be accomplished without vio-
lent means, simply by penning the gentle
savages ON reservations, and feeding them
for few generations. They would fret
themselves to death in the enforced con-
fnement, and the race would die out.
Another plan, and good one, is to send
every Indian captured in war against the
Government, to penal colony for the
remainder of his natural life. The peo-
pie are tired of paying a million of dol
lars apiece for dead Indians, or thou,
sand dollars year for the keeping OF
live nnaS
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

CHICAGO Inter Ocean: 1t will interest
all who lost friends in the Ashtabula
horror last winter to know that during
the spring and summer large quantities
of relics have been found, and are in the
Coroner's care at that city. 1t will in
terest them more, and should interest
every one, to know that, though some of
them have been in the hands of the
county officials but two or three months,
they propose to sell these relics at public
auction in January next. They will sell
them because one year will then have
elapsed since the accident, and that is
the length of time the law obliges them
to hold such articles. Toys and little
baby wraps, burned trinkets, and gar.
ments of all kinds, are not of much
money value, but would be priceless to
mourning friends, many of whom have
as yet absolutely no relic of the lost ones
1t is to be hoped that this word will cir
culate all over the country, that sur
vivors may write for delay of proceed
ings, or visit Ashtabula before the sale
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01
FARM LANDS IN NMARYIAND.


Professor p. R. Uhler, President of the
Academy of Sciences, is now at work on
a geological survey of Maryland. This
work has been only partially complete,
but enough has been accomplished to
prove that the survey will be of inesti-
mable benefit to the State. So far fifty
thousand species of insects have been
found in Maryland. Professor Uhler's
observations on the condition of uncivil-
lied land in the State are perhaps of
most interest in connection with this
survey at the present time, when large
number of workingmen are seeking
homes in the far-off lands. Professor
Uhler says that in Charles and St.
Mary's Counties, the latter particularly,
there are immense tracts of unculti-
vated and moccupied land which can
be had for five dollars an acre. All that
is required to make these lands produc-
tive is industry, patience and persever-
ance on the part of those purchasing
them. If properly attended to, the land
could be made as fertile and perhaps
more profitable than that in Kansas OF
other Western states, where the grass
hoppers are a continual terror to the
farmer, who knows not when they will
alight on his field and devastate what il
took years of work to produce. The
lands have not been drained, and con
sequentiy diseases prevail. A little per
severance would transform that part O.
the State into garden and would richl,
reward the industrious farmer. Pro
fessor Uhler was with the Hayden Geo
logical Expedition in the West, and be
lieves that the land in St. Mary's Count,
is quite as good as that in Kansas o
| Colorado
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

LOUISVILLE Courier-JournaJ: While
a collection was being taken up at a
colored meeting in Detroit the other day.
Brother Gardner said to the congrega-
ton: Please remember, bredren, dat
none of us kin take our riches beyond
de grave" Just then the hat came back
empty, and brother Gardner continued !:
But it pears to me dat dis crowd is
gwine to try mighty hard to do it.''
That is the way with too many congre.
cations in this world. They know very
well that they can take nothing with
them beyond the grave, but they feel al
the same time that they wouldn't be sat
isfied after death without the conscious
ness of having tried.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01
Mending the Basket.

A lady of benevolence anG wealth sent
some delicacies to a family where sick
ness and poverty made them very well
come. The basket i'll which they were
carried was nice one in its day, but
had been carefully mended in several
places where time and use had made
ravages. The fruit and cakes were
highly priced by the poor invalid, but
one of the family, noticing the repairs
on the basket, exclaimed, Well, now,
who would think that such rich people
would mend basketp'
Just here, doubtless, is the secret of
the wealth of one and the poverty of
the other The rich family had been
brought up to mend the basket, indeed,
to be careful in little things according
to the old homely adage, =" A stitch in
time saves nine," and the proverb, GA
penny saved is penny earned" The
other despised such trifes and neglected
to take the stitch or save the penny.
These times, esteemed so hard, call
on all to mend the basket, for one can
be as useful and happy when practicins
economies as when indulging in lavish
wastefulness. The present prosperity Of
France, coming after an expensive war
| is sald 10 De owing 10 the economical
habits of the people. We are accus
toned to think of the French as gay
and extravagant nation, but they have
| the tact of making little go grea
ways. Cooking in France is almost the
art of making something out of nothing
A few cold potatoes, an onion, hand
full of sweet herbs, and a little Mayo
nais dressing, put together by skillfu
hands, make delicious salad for supper
out of materials that common Amer
can cook would hardly look at. TIL,
tasteful French dishes so mucl
extolled by our countrymen can, man,
of them, be resolved into very simpl
and inexpensive ingredients.
The economies of the kitchen are quit
worthy the attention of our lady house
keepers, even if Bridget scolds ant
threatens to leave if her absolute ant
often Wasetful rule is broken.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

In the jurisprudence department
of the English Social Science Congress,
lately held at Aberdeen, Scotland, Miss
Burn read paper on the question
of legislation for women in factories.
She contended that there should be no
legislation about women working in fac
tories; that nothing but pure selfishness
was at the bottom of such legislation,
the selfshness of workingmen who are
trying to drive women out of the labor
market. That such was the case was
illustrated by the fact that no legisla.
tion was proposed for the million female
servants whose hours are longer and
whose work is more severe than many
laboring men have, Miss Burn is wholly
right.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

ENGLAND imported last year s13, ,000,-
900 worth of eggs, chiefly from the Con-
tinent. Canada also is beginning to
send across the water a considerable
number, one steamer alone having re-
Gently carried from the Dominion to
Liverpool two hundred and eighty bar
rcls of eggs Here's hint to our FARM
ers and country produce dealers.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

WHILE IL has been generally claimed
that Manitoba has an unusually mild
climate, the published statistics of the
Canadian Government show that it is
ono Of the coolest inhabited portions of
British North America in winter, and
that the summer, although short, is very
xwarv,
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

THERE are in England, as nearly as
can be ascertained, five hundred and
eighty pin machines, for producing pins,
either complete or by two processes
pointing and heading. Each of these
machines will make on an average 220
per minute, giving 7,656,0O0 per hour,
or 5S,904, 900 in one day of nine hours
(less intervals), or 343, ,423, 900 in a week
Of 81 hours, il all arc going.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

CHESTERFIELD defines civility as the
sacrificing of ones own self-love to other
peoples; to do it with ease, propriety
and grace is good breeding. The one
is the result of good nature; the other
Of good sense, joined to experience, OBJ
servation and attention.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

THERE must be some mistake in calcu-
lat;ons that the millennium is near. A
clergyman was convicted in New York
the other day and sent to Sing-Sing for
five years, on charge of robbing lady
passenger who had come from England
on the same steamer with him. That
looks as il Gabriel would not have i'm
mediate use for his horn.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

BURNS little aphorism, 40 wad
some power the giftie gle us, to see
ourselves as others see us,"-is given
too wide an application. 1t isn't
worth while bothering about such a
power unless the "others" who see us
are people for whose judgment we en-
tertain some respect.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

AT the close of the first centennial Of
the United States there were 25,717, 7,907
hogs in the whole country; 1888, 100
were in or en-route to Cincinnati, and
the rest chiefly between st. Louis and
Chicago. That is less than two-thirds
Of hog 10 each citizen.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

THERE is little daily newspaper pub
lished in Monroe, Louisiana, in the
handwriting of the editor by an electric
pen, the whole edition being duplicated
from the first manuscript. News, tele-
grams, editorials, and advertisements
are all in writing. 1t lis called the Daily
Electric Letter, and it is the first of the
kind.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

THERE is a magnificent orange-tree in
the orangery of the palace of Versailles,
which is now over four hundred and
fifty years old. 1t is known by the name
Of the Grand Connetable, or Grand
Bourbon, and it grew from some pips of
a bitter orange planted in pot at the
commencement of the fiftieth century by
Eleanor of CASTLE, wife of Charles III,
King of Navarro. The young plants
which sprung from the seed were kept
in the same tub at Pampeluna until 1S49.
In 1864 they were removed to Versailles
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

WHEN the Communists of Paris
mobbed the residence of Theirs they
carried away his bronzes and curiosities,
which were sold to dealers. The police
subsequently seized, wherever they found
them, articles bearing the private mark
of Thiers, which he caused to be en-
gravcd or stamped upon his articles OF
vertu. Judge of his surprise to find
many ornaments brought to him bearing
this mark which he had never owned
The dealers had counterfeited the mark
and preferred to be robbed rather thar
confess the trick.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01
EDITORIAL OLIO.

WHY some people always carry their
mouths wide open: Because their last
idea departed with the sentence just
uttered. What is the use of locking
the stable door after the horse has been
Htnlen2
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01
THE INDIAN QUESTION.

In long interview with Gen. Cassius
NJ. Clay, the reporter represents him as
saying that
"He thinks the race (the negro) will
ultimately become obliterated through
their own bad habits"
Without using this as respecting the
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

THE worlds annual production of
sugar aggregates 2,150,000 tons of cane
sugar, 1920, 900 tons of beet-root sugar,
10000 tons of date sugar, 10000 tons
of maple sugar and 10000 tons of sor-
ghum sugar.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

LONDON Fun: "Old gent to boy (who
is smoking the end of cigar he has
picked up)-'Ugh, for shame, throw that
nasty thing away Boy What for
you to pick up and smoke, ehG Gsr-arn;
| know yerp"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

TRUE taste is forever growing, learn
ing, reading, worshiping, laying its hand
upon its mouth because it is astonished,
casting its shoes from off it's feet because
it finds all ground holy.-Ruskin.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

tyranny. If bank officers and trust
agents are not allowed to earn a living
by honest toll, what becomes of Magma
Charta and our boasted liberty? 1t is
time this business was stopped, for a
sudden rush of virtue may give the
body polite the apoplexy.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

AN Englishman intends to adopt the
character of walking gentleman for
some time to come. He will not attempt
to go around the world in eighty days,
but will go around good deal of the
Eastern hemisphere in six years. He
has made bet of e50,OOO that he will
in six years walk through France, Ger
many, North Russia and Siberia to
China, starting from Calais. His bet
obliges him to return through India,
Persia and Southern Russia, and from
there over Greece and Italy to France
He must be in Liverpool by the 1st Of
July, 1888.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

WnaC tney would 90 were tney snip
wrecked far out upon the sea, and left
buffeting with the waves without a
plank to sustain them. Each one gave
his opinion, excepting Paddy Murphy,
who, after being asked for his, replied,
"Bad cess to ye for a cowardly set of
spalpeens: ye'd be afther savin' yer
selves, an not thryin' to save anuther.
Why, its Paddy Murphy that would
swim to shore an save himself, an thin
come back and try to save anuther."
AS general thing man makes con-
siderable effort to get into the Presiden-
tial chair, and when once there the
President prefers the seat to any other
situation, but there seems to be one ex-
ception, at least, to this rule. The Pres
ident of Costa Rica has voluntarily
| stepped down and out. Uneasy lies the
head that wears crown, and Costa
Rica is one of those peculiar places
| where a person has to choose between
being a live man or a dead president,
and great as is the affection of mankind
for an office, they generally, in such a
case, leave the position to shift for itself.
| A TEACHER of Sunday-scheol in the
interior of New York was impressing
upon the scholars a lesson in connection
with the death of one of their number.
She told them that little Amy was now
a saint in heaven. Whereupon one of
the girls spoke up and said: "She will
get plenty of preserves there" Aston
ished to hear her make such strange
statement, the teacher questioned her
to ascertain what could have put the
idea into her mind. 1t was finally
traced to the following question and an
swer in the catechism: Why
ought the saints to love God" Answer
=" Because He makes, preserves, and
keeps them"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

TIE Pope's annual income of $645, 900,
allowed by the Italian Parliament in the
"Bill of Guarantees" has, since De-
cember, 1870, been offered to him an
nually in a single bill, engraved es-
PccialIy for the hepurpose, and as regularly
it has been declined. The bills were
then placed on deposit in the Bank of
Italy, to the Pope's order, and have
been covered into the Treasury if five
years elapsed without their withdrawal.
The first two have thus returned to the
Italian Treasury, but whenever the Pope
dies his heirs will find $3,226,0 900 await
them.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01


A BELGIAN journal says a new
process has been applied to the manufac-
ture of artificial black walnut, by which
ordinary wood has impaired to it the ap-
pearance of the most beautiful speci-
mems of walnut, adapted to the very
finest cabinet work. The wood, first
thoroughly dried and warmed, is coated
once or twice with liquid composed Of
one part by weight of extract of walr nj
peel, dissolved in six parts of soft water
by heating it to boiling, and stirring
The wood is, when half dry, brushed
with solution of one part by weight o
bichromate of potash in five parts o
boiling water, and, after drying thor
oughly, is rubbed and polished. TIL
color is thus said to be fixed in the WOO
to the depth of one or two lines, and, i
the case of red beech or alder, for in
stance, the walnut appearance is mos
perfect.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

j. ). TRAsKER, President of Ma
tional Bank in Wichita, Kansas, has
been sentenced to the penitentiary for
five years on conviction of having en-
bezzled the banks funds. The cashier
and bookkeeper are also on trial, and
are likely to go the same road, while in
New York last week w. G. Gilman wa.
sent to Sing Sing for writing other peo
ple's names. This sort of thing is be
coming oppressive, and the people shoulc
rise in their might and resist tn,
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-01

PASSING SMILES.

eff you have tears, prepare to shed
them now." This is addressed to those
people who are peeling onions for pick
ling.
BoARDING-HoUsE butter thinks over
all the bad jokes made about it, and
says: E" If was not strong | would never
be able to stand it."
IT is astonishing how hard man will
| work to support tailor, hackman, and
a bar-keeper, while he lets his wife run
the sewing machine to support the
children.
A MAGISTRATE in Texas, on being in
formed by counsel that his disposition
of certain case was against the decision
of the Supreme Court, replied, "Then 1
Overrule that decision"
In struggling to make a dullbrained
boy understand what conscience is,
teacher finally asked: What makes you
feel uncomfortable after you have done
wrong?" "My papa's big leather strap"
feelingly replied the boy.
DID you ever wake up in the night
and muse upon what a nice eternal fit
ness there is about all thingsi Scissors
came into use three centuries before the
art of printing was discovered. Prog
ress understands her business.