The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-09-08
VARIETIES.


half fingers.
The street railroads in New York
city use II 900 horses.
Twelve women are pOstmistresses in
Schuylkill County, Pa.
Indians never kiss their wives; kiss
ing is one of the Christian graces.
Why do short men have no right to
marry? Because marriage is a rite of
Hymen.
Boston street-cars have placards to
this effect: "This car can't wait for
ladies to kiss good-by"
The man who carries cheap UNI
brella has not that regard for his fellow
citizen which is desirable.
"A team of sixteen mules, drawing
wagon laden with 10000 pounds of ore,
is a common sight in Reno, New.
The following appears on sign over
a New York painters shop: "Seehow-
funnyasignlookswit houtanystopsinit"
Through the violent death of her
husband Mrs. Lafayette Maupin, of
Athens, Ca, is widow at the age of
fifteen.
"A bashful printer refused situation
in an office where girls were employed,
saying that he never "set up" with girl
in his life.
If Pope had ever tried to put num-
Der six left boot on number seven right
foot he would never have written:
Whatever is, is right"
First New Yorker-"I consider him
man of first.class business talent :"
Second New Yorker" All, indeed!
What was the amount of his defalca-
tion?"
An exchange says: "Don't tell a
married man any joke on the boys, for
he'll tell his wife, his wife will tell her
sister, and her sister will tell all the rest
of the girls"
The reason why the courts are always
full of patent.rights cases is that, while
Necessity is the mother of Invention, it
is a well-knOwn axiom that Necessity
knows no law.
One of the things that most annoys
and hinders the American business man
is the fact that there is no way in the
world to get down his dinner in less than
seven minutes.
-" How to Roast a Spring Lamb" is
the heading of an article in a recent
Country Gentleman. So far, so good;
, but please give US something under the
.sd of Glow to Get Hold of Some Nut
hen an undertaken gives sick
Ndadvice, and anxiously expresses
his speedy recovery, we feel
erson who call this an entirely
selfish world is life lier.-
Times
we're talking about the most
signs of lunacy. at is my
~ said X, who had seen great
.sof life, "that the real lunatic is the
n who, when his sincere opinion is
ted=-zg;yes it."
'chman thinks the English Ian
Tough. "Dere is look out, :"
Oh is to put out your head
ok out, which is to haul
not for to see-just con-
n Rome, Pa who was not
eI wedding of neighbor,
ling cake through the PAN
and distributed it freely
Crowd which had assembled
IF the house.
Dung man, beauty fades as the years
~ by. Don't fall in love with a woman
simply because she's got a pretty face.
Remember that wealthy father.in-law
is better than the rosiest damsel in seven
States st. Louis Journal
-" Doctor, my daughter seems to be
going blind, and she's just getting ready
for her wedding, too! o dear me, what
is to be done?" " Let her 60 right on
with the wedding, madam, by all means.
If anything can open her eyes, marriage
will"
The New York papers are praising a
number of young women brought on
from the Treasury to count several mill
ion stamps, for their quickness and abil-
ity. 1t will be observed that, married or
single, woman is noted for her marvellous
dexterity in disposing of the stamps"
=" Lon" Hubbell, the strong man of
the world" once we'll known in the circus
arena, is in the poor-house of Putnam
County, n. Y. In his time he could hold
back two yoke of oxen, and support a
weight of 1900 pounds resting on his
arched hands and feet, with his stomach
upward.
The Hartford COurant is a very ven
cradle sheet. 1t says: Gas early as 1772
in the Connecticut COurant we published
series of letters from Ethan Allen on
the subject of the New York and grants
controversy" Men may come and men
may go, but the Eve" of the Courant
has been going on for long time.-Bos-
ton Globe.
-" What's your fgure?" said a BRIDE
groom quitting his hand in his pocket to
the clergyman who had just married him
He meekly replied: The law allows me
two dollars" "Does it," exclaimed the
young husband. "Well, that's liberal.
But here's fifty cents more; so now you've
So So" and away he went, before the poor
parson could explain.
The New Haven Comm Palladium
says that " it has just been discovered
that one of the resident Chinese Educa-
tional Commissioners tat Hartfordl has
two wives He lives in the most fash.
ionable quarter of the city, and his two
wives, hitherto supposed to be his sisters,
were great favorites with the Hartford