St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1877-07-27
Squibs.
The inhabitants of Saturn move in
n,

high circles.
An Iowa paper gives a thrilling ac-
count of the effort of young man to
take home widow and three swarms
of bees at the same time in a wagon.
It's no use talking; hat brims must
give way, or the present style of gents
collar must be cut down.
A New Highlander writes home from
the Black Hills that there are as many
wise men going out every day as there
are fools coming in.
with her betrothed, Mr.. Vyse, on hear
ing that after marriage she might be
addicted to small vices.
at is well to leave something for
those who come after u.s. as man said
when he threw barrel in the way of a
constable who was chasing him.
A Roman remarked the other day
try mighty hard to be honest, but some
times Il poor man cannot be honest, I'M
less he steals the money to be honest
with
Leading out of the village of Hope,
N. j., is covered bridge upon which
SOl1t way His WTllIeD w no enters
here leaves Hope behind"
Geo. Francis Train says: IA deadlier
poison than spitz, mOccasin, cobra or
rattlesnake gnaws gIeedily at the vitals
of Church, State and society,"" He must
mean Jersey lightning"
How wise is the tramp who sleeps in
the fence corner and has no fears of
hotel fires and siX-story leaps to stone
pavements. Go to the tramp, thou
architect, consider his ways and be
wise.
''He is a man after my own heart,
pa" said Julia, reverting to Charles
Augustus. Nonsense" replied old
Practical, she is a man after the money
your uncle left you" And then all was
quiet.
The man who about house cleaning
time sold you first-class furniture
polish will, in day or two, have the
same article for sale at the seaside as
an infallible remedy for the removal of
freckles.
1t is perhaps needless to say to tramps
that hearty victuals are not healthy
this time o. year. A cup of water and
il stalk of pie-plant are enough for IA
tramp weighing two hundred pounds.
Detroit Free Press.
An Indiana girl at Vassar College
writes to her parents: ''This is the most
stylish hairpin of boarding school
ever tumbled to. l can eat four times
a day if | want to, and get fair hack
at the hash every time"
Mr.. Cartier, of New York, waltzed six
hours in one strait heat the other night.
The intellectual development of that
young mans legs is fully as marvellous
as the gloomy vacuity of the thing he
wears his hat On.-Hapkeye.
A boy five years of age having stolen
can of milk, his mother took him to
task with moral suasion and wound up
her discourse by exclaiming, "What in
the world were you going to do with
the milk ?" 81 was going to steal dog
to drink it,"
Sometimes man gets in a stunning
joke, slaps his knee with pleasure, takes
up an exchange, sees the same Joke,
scratches his own out, and wants to
hang himself to a lima-bean pole. You
needn't laugh; you know how it is
yourself-N. Y. Herald.
A butcher of some eminence was late
ly in company with several ladies at
game of whist, when, having lost two
or three rubbers, one of the ladies', ad-
dressing him, asked: "Pray, sir, what
are the stakes now % ''Madam, the best
rump cannot sell for less than twenty
cents pound"
Mamma" tearfully inquired an up
town girl, "why can't have a pony
pheton this Summer Everybody that
is anybody has one" "My child, you
know have passed the appropriation,
but your pa has vetoed the bill" More
tears and a promise of a new croquetl
set out of the market money.