The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1877-11-08

knight in token that she had not TAKEN MS
lest amiss. This little circumstance is not
mentioned in some Of the histories oS-
ton Traveller.
Erastothenes," asked his master, CALI
machus, one morning when they were
taking their mornings morning down near
the Temple of Hephestus, "EraStothenes,
why is thc-iust little more dash OF the
bitters, Johnny-wby is the breakdown OF
the Ptolemies like this obelisk OF Rameses 20
ais it anything" asked Erastothenes,
watching the man behind the counter SLICE
the lemon, is it anything about putting
IN stove?" "No," was the reply. ~
il ANYTHING about neither OF them being
able to climb trec?" 'No." "Then,"
said the philosopher, II give it up "Be-
cause.n said the poet, sit is Clcopatra's
knead]e." And then these two great men
looked long and silently into their glasses,
and stirred them in an distracted manner,
until Callimachus remarked. "Well, here's
AT you": and they leaned back their heads
with gurgling sound, while the fragrant
breath of q lemon-peel floated of on the
morning air like dream OF the tropics. The
world is not what it used to be.-Hariteye.
clergyman while composing a sermon
made use OF the words ostcntatious man."
Throwing down his pen, he wished to sa-
tisfy himself ere he proceeded as to whether
a great portion Of his congregation might
comprebend the meaning OF these words,
and he adopted the following method OF
proof: Ringing the bell, the footman APP
peared, and he was thus addressed by ms
master: "What do you conceive 10 be I'M
plied by an ostentatious MANI" IAN osten-
tatious man, SIR" said Thomas; "why, sir,
/ should say perfect gentleman" every
pood,n observed the vicar: "scnd Ellis Qhe
coachman) here ellis" said the vicar,
"what do you imagine an ostentatious man
to be?" i" An ostentatious man, SIR re-
piled Ellis; "why should say an ostenta-
tious man means what we call, saving your
presence, very jolly fellow" 1t is hardly
necessary to add that the vicar substituted
less ambiguous word.
Another iconoclast now steps TO the front,
and with an old document written by one
of the original Boston tea-spillers, which
proves that there were present at that IN
terestinc seance ono white men disguised
as Indians Oh, hang it, don't lop the
thing off limb by limb that way. Make
clean thing Of it. There was no tea, there
were no ships, there was no trouble, no
stamp act, no dissatisfaction, no colonies,
no war, no Fourth OF July. no nothing.
George Washington was myth, the reVo-
lutionary war was hypothesis, we are
merely supposed to be existing, and moth
ing is real but the historical moths that de-
stroy everything we ever believed. By
heaven, there were white men disguised Us
Indians at that tea party; thousands OF 'em.
We swear it; we know it; we were there
and saw 'em. Put that in the school-books.
Ha,Dkeye.
The public will be gratified to learn that
it was q clear case Of straight drink"
According to the Portland (Me.) Transcript,
Neal Dow was recently called to the ponce
station to confront a drunken fellow who
said he drank brandy and water with Cen
eral Dow on board the wrecked steamer
Massachusetts. After a long catechism 1t
appeared, to the relief of everybody, that
the tramp drank the brandy and the tenn
perance-reformer the water. 1t was the
story that was mixed, and not the beverages.
Raukeye.
A good deal is said about the importance
of one vote, but it is one eye that counts
At Lexington, Mo-, lately, there were three
men in n wagon drawn by two blind mules
The driver had but one eye, and the Other
two men were totally blind. The amount
of responsibility that rested upon the one
eve in the wagon can scarcely be estimated
Courier Journal.
elbow comes it that ,oon't is a contrac.
ion of aciN mot? There is but one in the
contracted form" 1t is true that the pala
tai vowel does not naturally pass into the
labial o, nor in any system OF phonetic change
is such transfer noted. 1t does not occur
in this case, for cont is contraction oil
aooU not, and Is OF very remote origin.-J
y. BldckUeH in Christian Observer.
An old farmer, one OF Judge Poland's
early associates, from Lamoile county, VT,
recently called upon him at Lyndon, and was
invited to take dinner at the hotel. When
the old man took his seat at the table one OF
the walters laid bill Of fare before him,
which he promptly handed back, saying
-"Judge Poland settles my BILL"
There are queer hooks and corners yet
left in Old England. A visitor to coun.
try parson tells how, when he accompanied
him lately to take the duty in remote par.
ish, the sexton SAID: "Perhaps your rev.
erence won't mind preaching from the
chancel. for we've got duck a sittin' in
ihe pulpit"
The leaves are turning slowly yellow !;
their summers hue is hence; the ripening
1rult Is on Tue mellow tue Sulail uOJ vi Tue
Ience. He looks around, he views the
ground, and thinks the moment suits; he
ills his pockets full and round, then Jump!
the fence and scoots.-Bacokic Exchange.
"What shall I do to collect this bll?" a
butcher asked his lawyer. The man OF law
reached forth bis hand for retainer, and
said briefly, "Suet. darlington Ha,ok'-
eye.
"a good man looks awkward in wrong
place. Worcester Press. We feared thai
our existence outside the circle OF million
aires would attract NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Herald.
The subject OF Mr.. Beecher's sermon Sum
day was, '.Make not haste to be rich.n No !;
a man is a mean cuss who wants to skip
along faster than S4o0 night Boston
i Post il
z; Citizers will travel long distance tc
give an item to a newspaper when they
have little hobby to ride on.-NeU Or
leans Picay4re. ~
Little things should not lie despised,
The little toe is the smallest on the foot
but it always has the largest corn.-0u CITY
cat.
BANKS AND BANKERS.
.rIIIZENS BANK OF RICHMOND.