The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-05-17

person who never gets there.
CAUTION often avcrts danger. An up
town man who heard burglars in the house,
the other night, woke up his wife and sent
her down stairs for drink of water, and
then crawlel under the bed and wasn't in.
jurcd in the lcast.-DaMbusg Neaos.
ONCE more the lOvc-lorn swain will
leave her swinging ON the gate and moscy
home in the moonlight softly lumming 70
himself
It's sweet to cvurt, but, oh, how bitter!
To leave her unwed when you know you could
Rit her.
SOME one asks: "What is more dis
gushing than waiting for a train when it Is
behind time? ~ We should say that train
not waiting for man when he is behind
time might bc equally disgusting to
sensitive and hurried par:y.-Chicago
Journal.
HERE is q bit of human nature, and
very encouraging it is, too: "Ain't you
going to save one of those peaches for
your little brothcr?" He replied with
Christian severity of temper, Oh, yes;
l don't want to he mean. I've saved the
rotten one for Tommy"
"MR. JONES, don't you think women are
more sensible than men!" asked Miss
Smith. And Jones, after scratching his
favorite bump for moment or two, said !:
"Why, certainly, they are-they marry
men, and men only marry women" Miss
cAAAisla Ueas . laaSty aCuoat.-koNcE.
A CORRESPONDENT of an agricultural
paper says that after long experience he
finds that the best way to sow grain is on
horseback. The science of agriculture
progresses. A young farmer will soon be
able to take his girl out carriage-riding
and sow several acres Ct grain or pick
five acres of potatoes at the same time
thus combining business with pleasure
E8change.
RAIN, rain, rain, rain,
Straight and slanting, scolloped and plain
Ffaught with pleasure to duck and crane,
And to many q hopeful rustic swain
On the parlor lounge with Elizabeth Jane.
Moisture, bringing re ret and pain
To the damsel who draggles her dress en- train,
splendid, scrumptiOus new grOs grain,
And who sighs and utters . thought pr0fane
Concerning Old Probs, that he should ordsin
A soaking shower, and not refrain
When she must 60 out and bonnet obtain.
Cause of many an outward stain,
Cause of many an ankle sprain;
Yet we will do ~ they do in Spain
When It rains We will let it rain,
Rain, rain, rain, rainLN. T. Gvaphie.
A WOMAN will take the smallest drawer
in q bureau for her own private use, and
will pack away in it bright bits of boxes,
of all shades and sizes, dainty fragments
Of ribbon, and scraps of lace, foamy ruff.
fles, velvet things for the neck, bundles of
old love letters, pieces of jewclry, hand
kerchiefs, fans, things that no man knows
the name of-all sorts of fresh looking,
bright little traps that you couldn't cata-
logue in column, and any hour Of the
day or night she can 60 to that drawer
and pick up any article she wants without
disturbing anything else. Whereas 9
man, having the biggest, deepest and
widest drawer assigned tc him, will chuck
into it three socks, a collar.box, an old
neck tic, two handkerchiefs, pipe and .
pair of suspcndcrs, and to save his soul he
can't shut that drawer without leaving
more ends of things sticking out than
there are things in it, and it always looks a.
though it had been packed by hydraulic
press Burlington Hack Eye.