The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-06-28
drinkin' Pike County whisky" added
Jerry, facetiously, as he walked of to-
ward his farm.
Ho,c to Catch a Ltsnatfc.

H0to to Catch a L,snatfc.
TCharles G. Leland.l
Years ago, when was a youngster, I
became an assistant of DR.. B., the
superintendent ofa public insane asylum
in what town it does not matter; the
location doesn't affect the narration in
the least.
As in all insane asylums, some of our
patients were docile and tractable, and
had the freedom of the house and high
walled garden, while others, being violent
and dangerous in their madness, were
confined to their rooms.
Sometimes one OF these last-named
gentlemen would get loose, fact which
he Immediately announced by breaking
things generally-upon which announce
ment the doctor would repair to the spot
at which he was "elevating the ancient
Henry" and, advancing upon him, with
steadfast gaze, would fascinate him, as
black snake does catbird, and march
him off to his room instanter. The
doctors eye was never known to fail;
and he impaired such a portion of his
literally charming qualities to my fellow
assistant and myself, that we were able
to master any ordinary maniac, although
the doctor himself had to attend to the
"tough customers"
We had one lunatic by the name of
Smith, as tall as Tom Hyer and as strong
as an ostrich, besides being possessed of
as strong digestive powers as that
interesting bird, for he once got loose
and swallowed so many cents that he
ratified when he walked, yet he showed
no injurious effects from the meal.
He had broken out of his room two or
three times, but had always gone back
very docilely when. any of us made our
appearance.
The asylum had a saloon in the center
with door at each end and one OF these
doors requiring fixing once upon time,
carpenter was engaged upon it, when
in trundled Mr.. Smith and quietly
possessed himself of long, sharp chisel.
When the carpenter looked around, the
madman gave grin and poke of the
chisel at him; whereupon the terrified
man of chips scuttled out and locked the
door-then, while the enemy was batter
ing away at it, he rushed around and
locked the door at the other end.
Having thus Gagged the ostrich, he
gave the alarm and I, supposing that it
was an ordinary case which / could
easily control, unlocked the door and
entered boldly, whereupon he made a
rush at me. and incontinently bolted.
The doctor was sent for. He came,
and, after accommodating through the
keyhole, and ascertaining that the enemy
was at the other end of the room, he
opened the door, and saw at once that his
eye would fail him in the emergency.
Here was apparently dilemma. Here
was certainly a problem. Given: A
crazy individual. strong as a bull,
perfectly uncomfortable, and armed with
deadly weapon. Required: How to
catch him.
To capture him by force was difficult
and dangerous undertaking, and to
starve him out would be tedious affair.
But the doctor did not hesitate for a
moment.
"Alfred," said he, ego down into the
surgery, fill the largest syringe with
hartshorn, and bring it up"
caught the idea, rushed down, and
brought back quart syringe filled with
artshorn-diluted-fo I didn't want
to kill the man.
Then the doctor, Jones, and myself,
formed an army of invasion. We threw
open the door. and entered in the follow
ing battle array:
"I, being shortest of the three,
marched first, holding chair in front
of me by the back, so that the legs might
keep off rush if our popgun flashed in
the pan. Then came Jones, with the
syringe resting on my shoulder like 8
piece of flying artillery.
Finally, in the rear, in the safest
place, like all great generals, came DR.. B
The lunatic sat at the other end of the
hall on a chair, eeing us keenly ano
savagely. Slowly, very slowly, we ad
vanced toward him. 1t seemed to me-
that we were seven miles apart, from the
length of time it took to approach him
The nearer we got, the more wickee
that chisel looked, and the handle seemed
to increase till it was as long as broom
stick. When we got within few fee
of him, he jumped up and sprang at us
"Fire!" cried the general, from tn
rear; and whiz spatter! splash wen
the quart of hartshorn right bang int
his countenance; down he went like
log-it would have knocked down
} battalion and while he was catching hi
breath we caught him.