The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-03-17
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.


principle OF republican jurisprudence appear
10 be that nobody can legally possess and col
troll property unless it is stolen.
Goodbye, February, you have touched Il
rently, with hand as KIND and warm as ina
She Savior extended to Lazams.-Sun.
That sounds pretty and II may DC interesting
Eell us some moro about Lazaihs' II "f"'1'
Ont in Nevada some fellows killed the wroni
man. They went to his wife and apologizct
and She accepted with The explanation that &C
ciden,s would happen in spite Of all precautions
One of our contemporaries tsays the Bridge
port Standard heads an article, who Sha
Lead~ A very brief examination OF Hoylc vii
,bow that the man next the dealer should do &c
We can stand almost anything from the type
setting hend; but when our friend About Town
writes Pew rents have not fallen" we decidedly
object to having the types say peanuts hav
rot fsllenn 1t argues low grade of Christian
ity among printers.
And this is the drcary forcboding OF the New
York Sun:
Four years upon the same old tack
The goodly ship must go,
Obedient to the fat OF
One AliCndc Joe.
-Four years upon rotten sea,
A RobbcrsoDan crew
Shall answer to the captains call,
And put the oil craft through.
-Four years, to mark her Shiny course,
The robbers chart prevails
Corruption tanting every breeze
That fills her swelling sails.
-Four years DER depths where reefs Of fraud
Shall rend her tortured kcel
Fou. wears OF Hayes between the decks
And Chandler ut the wheel.
Hayes might have been kept out Of the Presi
Dental chair by u crooked pin, but the sugges.
lion comes too late.
The Rochester Democrat thinks Simon Cameron
can successfully set up the defence of emotional
insanity.
Bowling Green, Kentucky, was disgraccd last
week by big burly man horse-whipping his
wife in the street and nobody there to Kill him.
Brick Pomoroy says, "Wo spend nearly 5000.
100000 year for cigars and cheroots" No won.
der his New York and Chicago newspaper enter.
prises have failed. Add his liquor bill and the
expense OF swapping wives every few months,
and Uncle Sans entire revenue wouldn't sup
port Brick.
Private Dazell says Gov. Hayes believes in
God" Abstractly, perhaps, but for good steady
service he hiss more faith in Returning Boards.
Rat skins have become an import ant articles
Oi commerce at Fort Dodge, Iowa. One dealer
has bought, IL Is sand, within few months, 35,.
900 pelts.-Er.
But don't let this item fool you into SHINING
house rats. The Fort Dodgers live mostly by
catching aud sknning muskrats.
Lately the Morchousc La) Clarioa came out
with a notice:
WANTED-.l girl to nurse. Apply at the Ga.
Won Office
There was a speedy inundation Of female
infants of all grades and colors, and the
editor had to rise and explain that it was not he
that wanted to nurse girl.
as the season for municipal elections is at
hand "cititizcns movements" are again in
rogue. They had one in Pittsburg recently, and
ihe Post says;
AL WIS going on very sinoothly till one man
goC uu in the meeting and asked: "Aint nomi.
mated for Mayor" NO." said the meeting. Nor
Tor Treasurer" NO" '"Nor for ComptrolcrY'
No. Then, - II don't make it warm for
thls movement, that's ALL"
The republicans stole eight electoral votes IN
Louisiana and the democrats tried To steal one
in Oregon. The electoral commission decided
that there was no way to recover the stolen
goods in the Louisiana case, but found way Of
returning the Oregon vote to its rightfu owner.
Moody and Sanhcy have been invited to Hart.
'ord, which indicates that even place with
more insurance companies than any other town
Of It's size in the world doesn't feel altogether
safe against fire to come.
The following, which VIC find floating loose in
the papers, is good enough TO have been said by
Beechcr:
Men and women, before marriage, are as
figures and cyphers. The woman is the cyphcr
and counts for nothing till she gets the figure of
a husband beside her, when the becomes Of i'm
pOrtance herself and adds tcnfuld to the sum Of
his. But this, IL must be observed, occurs only
when she gets and remains on the right side of
him, for when She shifts from this position, he
returns TO his lesser estate, and she To her orig
sal insignlfcsncc.
LET the people speak y Boston Globe "A
hot lemonade. NcXtm- Worcester Pres Lager
Next!-1,Ta0S Fails reporter.
Eight 70 seven wins in a game for the prcsi-
lehcY, but seven TO eight puts Nichols in over
Packard. How is that for republican honesty?
About the Sickest typographical error We have
eeen for some time is the recent announcement
That certain gentleE.an would deliver a lecture
on the small p0X, for the benefit OF the poor"
The editor wrote ION the sixth prox."-and the
intelligent compOsitor will accompany colony
70 Texas next mOnth-NOyT. Herald.
Mr.. Moody says heaven is as much real place
as Boston; but lie hasn't yet dared to tell Bos.
ION audience thatii is better place.
A fastala el xic
roads last week by obtaining tickets for a the.
atfical troupe" al discount, ard then selling
them tc scalpeIs.-EE.
anything to beat the monopoly"
The following. from n quack adv. is respect.
iuliy commended 20 the editor Of the La Sale
Democrat: