The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1877-01-25
GLEANINGS.

Not miss A pretty widow.
Sleight-o Refusing an ''of-
fer
hens cackle is usually clay ser
mon"
Men who are hard-up want to be let
a-loan.
peanut dealer says business is at
stand-still.
Pickpockets gather crowds to dis
purse them.
A strong-minded woman will always
be speaker Of the house.
Money is SO tight that we actually
believe it must wear corsets.
Liverpool the number Of cases occur
ring daily being totally unprecedent-
ed.
4 man out west who offered bail for
a friend was asked by the Judge If he
had any incumbrance on his farm.
ooh yes, he said, my wife
Mary said an unknown woman to
a new servant, when You hang out
the clothes, be careful TO put the incest
pieces nearest the street.
attention, company, and tend to
your roll-call, said an Irish sergeant.
"All of ye that are present, say Here,
and all of ye that are not present, say
'Absint.
A white boy met colored lad the
other day and asked him what he had
such a short nose for. 81 spect's SO
it won t poke itself into other people s
business.
When two or three little boys get to.
gether in the afternoon the chances
are that there will be either fight, 9
window broken or some stray dog will
have d pan tied to his tail.
A sermon in Barbados recently was
closed thus: my obstinaceous bred
rem, find it is no more use to preach
to you dan it is for grasshopper tt
wear knee-breeches.'
4 tender-he arted lady Of Texas
when present at q black bird shooting
| asked. why don't they shoot the lii
tie birds on the ground SO they won'1
| fall and hurt themselves e.
A clergyman in Northern Indiana as
cended the pulpit the other Sunday ;lnt
said: 'sNo man can serve the Lore
while he has the jumping toOthache
/ therefore dismiss the congregation.
My business is to talk said !;
stump-speaker. II deal in words ant
sentences. YES" said a voice il
the crowd, land as long as | hav,
known you your place of business ha
never been closed.
| New Medicine.-A lady said to
gentleman who was suffering with TIL
| influenza. My dear sir. what do yol
take for your cold p Five pocket
handkerchiefs a day, madam wa
the reply.
thought he must talk to the aesthetic
al looking angel on his right. HOY
do you like Beethoven - said he at
venture. s.Well cooked" said she, in
terested in the business at hand.
/ When a boy was asked, "Wher
was the text this mornings" he re
/ piled, 1T was somewhere in hatch
ets. In hatchets! T. No, it wa
in Acts ssWell. knew it was some
thing that would cut, said the boy
riumphantly.
II uEGlU AClu q wv WAAlG @ tA0oS
eyed man was to knock her on the hea
with an Ak. The darby. observin
the man 8 eyes, in some alarm inquil
ed, ssYou gwjne TO hit where 20
look 2" Yes DEN said Cuffee
s.hold dis cow yourself"
i very good pun can be made III
consciously, as when the schoolmaste
asked the class what Shylock mean
when he said, MY deeds upon m
head. ssWell,'' said one Of the boy:
| 81 don't know. unless he carried hi
papers in his hat
A young lady dressed in much falls
hair. was Warbling at the piano, an
: when her mother summoned her /
| some household duties her rosy Liz
opened poutingly and snapped on
ssOh. do it yourself I" and then ST
went on singing, "Kind words can ne
} er de-
ii aWhat strain that isl said Mr
J Darlington, as she heard an air fro
Lucia sung in the highest style by