The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1877-11-03
NUMBER 3.
PASSING SMILES.

! A SAILOR is not necessarily an
anchorite.
, A DANGEROUS game-Playing the
deuce.
, HoNoRED in the breech--Remingto
rifles.
A MAN drank thirty-one cups of coffee
for a prize. Was the prize a fan or n
golden harpY
EVERYWHERE make yourself useful
and you will be everywhere at home.
You can no more hurt silent man,
than you can hurt an elephant by tin
rattle.
ONE solitary philosopher may be great
virtuons, and happy in the midst of pow
erty, but not a whole people.
A MAN who has so long to fight
against misfortune, wants strength to
meet sudden Kindness.
THE hunting season is here, and the
man who can steal dog and borrow
gun feels justified in buying box of
caps.
AN experienced boy says he regards
hunger and the schoolmaster's rattan as
about the same thing, as they both make
him holler.
GREENLAND has no cats. Imagine
cats in country where the nights are
six months long
EAsToN Free Press: The only bust
ness man who can go to the watering
place all the year rodnd is the milkman.
YOUNG man, if you would be the
toniest of the tony you must wear
sleeve buttons so large that they will
hide your dirty cuffs.
A FARMING exchange informs us,
How to tell bad eggs. When an egg is
bad a man doesn't want to tell it any
thing--he wants to get right away from
it,"
A BOOK agent, the other day, talked
half an hour to induce lady to buy
book. She handed him a slip Of paper
on which was written Zine deaf and
dunn"
1876.
Old farmer Biggs most sadly said,
As exc he scratched his snowwhite head,
My craps Is mighty slim this year
III starye to death fore spring, fear.
why, wheat is worth Its weight In gold,
And corn amt to be bought, I'm told.
It's Just my luck when grain Is high,
To harvest craps In thin supply"
1877.
How's craps2 why, blast the cussed luclcl
reckon as IT'S nip and tuck
As how gets 'em in at all
The harvest is 40 big this fall
More wheat, more corn, more oats, more rice,
Nor we can sell 81 any price.
The markets full know too well
I'll starye because cannot sell.
81. Louis Journal
A LADY has Just been appointed prin-
cipal Of high school in Delaware.
From which it is fair to assume that the
motto Of the trustees is Principals, not
men,"
AND now, they say, sleeping exposed
to the moons rays will cause madness.
Sitting on the stoop in the same ex-
posurc has been known to cause madness
too--in the old man.
Boston Traveller: A teacher in one
of our grammar schools inquired,
"What was the cause of the Revolu-
tionary Warp The prompt reply was,
The Yankees wanted the Fourth Of
July and were bound to have itP'
AN exchange says: "Chief Joseph
captured the mail-coach and stuck post
age stamps all over himself" And now
General Howard ought to be dismissed
from Office for letting him Ego through
the mails" without canceling the
stamps.
"MRs. HENRY" said John, the other
evening, "why are you like the devilp'
And when she went for him with the
needle he had hardly time to save him
self by q quotation about Sowing tares;"
the other reasons he prudently kept to
himself.
A GENTLEMAN WAC could not pro-
nounce the letter r, was asked to read
the following: Robert gave Richard
rap in the ribs, for roasting the rabbit
so rare" He evaded the difficulty in
the following ingenious manner: Bob
by gave Dicky thump in the side. for
cooking bunny SO little!'
BosToN Adpertiser: At one Of our we'll
known auction rooms bedstead stood
outside the door, while within carriage
awaited q purchaser. The fact was an
nounced by placard, which, being placed
upon the bedstead, gave to many, how
ever, the wrong impression. 1t read as
follows: Buggy, for SALE"
If you could find an uninhabited
coral reef island, with plenty of cocoa
palms and bread fruit on it, and put
handsome young fellow ashore there, If
you touch there year afterwards, you
would find him walking under the palm
trees arm in arm with a pretty woman!
"MUsING on the infinite, eh ~ said
facetious chap to melancholy looking
individual, who was walking along the
sidewalk with bowed head and serious
countenance. "Well, yes; same thing
thinking of my debts"
HISTORY shows few instances of cour-
age, endurance and perseverance, equal
to that exhibited by Henry M. Stanley
in his African explorations. He is
worthy follower Of Livingtone, though
the methods of the two men are utterly
opposite. Livingstone conciliated, while
Stanley is by nature fighter. Despite
assertions, treachery and disease ne
fought his way through thousand miles
Of African wilderness, where no white
man has ever dared to set foot. His
contributions to geographical science
are beyond price, and as a representative
of the press the fraternity are proud he
is of their number.
A NOTED writer says: The power
of putting is greatly exaggerated. How
ever much authors. artists or goods are