The daily intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Territory [i.e. Wash.]) 1876-1881, 1877-09-21
BREVITIES.
The fair season approaches

iHc car punch i 4 IiiinTc loo. Only
the milk punch is left Us now.
Dion Boucicault's advice - Never
make love to woman through all ink
bottle
We ksow a sbrewd farmer who made
fortune cul,ivating weeds. They
were widows.
Youngsters have discovered a new
watering place in this city the tail end
of 81 rinkling cart.
Some men will pay to have their
dog registered. when they will not
have their baby vaccinatei.
Shakespeare would never have asked,
What's in an aim % if he had been
Int Oh the head with brick bat.
Little things should not be despised
The little toe is the smallest on the
foot, but it always has the largest corn.
If one Of our policemen were to be
left alone in a corner grocery with a
quart of brandy, which would be
drunk first.
Georgia has prohibited hogging tor
crime. We suppose that hereafter the
iiogging will be do;e only for amuse-
mcnt.
\ mule struck on Sunday on the Erie
tow-path. They have found cap and
one suspender button that belonged to
the driver.
Three are mob according to law
This is what young fellow thinks
when he aud another chap are court
ing the same girl.
A swell who suffered horribly paid
court to Il very pretty actress. "Ah,
sir" SAID she, life is too short | haven't
time to listen to you"
YOU'RE a smart fellow" sneered q
lawyer TO witness, the other day"
I'D return the compliment if | wasn't
under OATH replied the witness
Sailor. smoking and soliloquizing-
"If only had been born steamboat
Could have smoked like that steamer
without buying tobacco
At the cattle show: Gentleman. with
solemnity-' Miss Florence, 90 you love
beasts ," Lidy. with yivacity Am
W 'oh''A'i t'itt q B''t'oooi
Come, Freddy, you see it is sunset.
and the little chickens all go to roost at
that time" "Yes. mamma, but the old
hen always goes with them.
An exchange says: THE first Ameri-
can wine was made in Florida in 1854
We oon't know anything about that,
but we'd like to bet dollar it was all
gone next day.
During an examination, q medical
student being asked the question:
When does modification ensne:" he
replied: when you pop the question
and are answered no.
What l object to-" said Texas
horse thief, as he was about to be drawn
up. "is your hanging me here in the sun
when there's plenty of sbads close by.
However, go ahead"
A clever wag at our elbow says the
Willamette river is so low that the fish
have TO stand Dn their heads to moisten
their gils. AMI the fishermen pull them
ont like gardner does onions.
The Youths Directory has received
an order for one hundred boys To pick
hops in Mcndocino county. This is bet
ter than to allow them to grow up and
pick pockets in the city of San Fran
cisco.
The beef caters of New York arouse
themselves when they hear that the
strikers will not allow live cattle to be
forwarded by rail. These men are exer-
cised because their appetites are at n
steak
Papa, why don't they give the tele.
graph wires II dose of brandy "Why.
my child" because the papers say
they are out of order, and mamma al
ways takes brandy when she Is out of
order"
The reason for day laborer drop
ping his tools with such accuracy when
the clock strikes twelve. ani his rapid
speed toward dinner is that he may
iuake up .hc time that be will lose IN
getting back Ia work.
Tslmsge says that women can pray
better than men. Tha, accounts fcr the
curions fact that woman will GO two
miles III p,'lting rain storm on Satnr
day night iur new bonnet. IN order tn
prAy Incoming
DO. the child hatcher. is beaded ohf
by General Howard. and is now fairly
in lis clutches. Distribution. of pro-
visions, arms. ammunition, blankets,
and other conciliatory cmolients, is now
in ORDER by the Government.
A man may be graduate of the best
colleges in the land, and be capable Of
ruling nations. and yet net know
enough to refrain from breaking out
into y wild and exssperating whistle as
soon as he enters an editors office.
A Sacramento Clergyman once
preached very peculiar sermon
soothing. stirring and satisfying. 1t
was 50 soothing. that hslfth congrega-
tion went 10 sleep; - stirring. that the
remainder left before he had finished;
aud So satisfying, that hone OF them
ever came "a hear him again.
A symrs,hetic chemist. daring the
performance Of the last scene IN "Ro-
m.o and Juliet" became 50 excited by
the apparent reality Of the sisge bus
mess. tha, he jumped from his seat.
dashed his ha. over his forehead ana
shou,iny. Hold him up. Juliet, while /
run for the stomach pump rushed on'
of the theatre.
A msa demanded free glass OF rum
in Nevada saloon. and did not get u
,rha,, Lo sai1 bn pavar tried II hut ~