The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1877-09-27
LA CREME DIES CHRONI0UES.
What the Wits ofParis Find to Say Ina Their
Papers.

|
Gentleman, with solemnity-"Miss Flor
ence, do you love beastsf'
Lady, with vivacity-"Am to conside
that as proposal2"
Scene laid st theatrical agency:
Agent-"Your line of biz"
Actor-"Low comedy"
Agent-'Youve played in"
Actor-"'The Stranger The Two Or
phans,' The"
Agent-"Those ain: comedies"
Actor-"Thst don't know, but whenever
l have played in them have been received
with roars of laughter"
Three young swells are seated on bench
in the Tuileries Garden with young woman
and one of them dances on his knee child Of
three, beautiful as an angel.
A lady passing, struck with the child's
beauty, pauses, and says to the young man:
| "Your child, sir?
The three young swells arise, bow deeply,
and answer in chorus, eyes, M"
| About to take country seat:
Possible tenant-"There isn't much of a
view"
] Landlord-"Not much of view? Why,
from the front windows you look right out on
the railroad station"
larly pleasant prospect"
L.-"Isn't it2 Why, you see all the people
running to catch the cars and missing them.
Not pleasant indeedP
A sergeant of the One Hundred and Tenth
meets peasant woman on the train:
She-"What regiment do you belong to?"
He-"The Hundred and Tenth"
She--"How lucky My son is in the Hun
dred and Eleventh, right next to you. Will
you take him this ham?''
He" With pleasure" Takes it,
She-"Well, wasn't in luckp (Ereunt
anlbo. They have ham at the sergeant's mess
of the One Hundred and Tenth for dinner
next day.
One winters day the Able c., worthy Alsa-
clan priest, was wandering through the woods
with his three cornered hat under his arm,
when he met some woodmen, of whom he
asked his way. They remained covered, and
one cried out:
"Put on your hat, parson; calls head is only
good hot"
"You are right" gravely replied the priest,
putting it on. "Of with your caubeens, you
thieves of the world, pigs heads are only good
coldr
Rossinis weakness was q passion for recon-
mending his proteges to his friends-it cost
him little and made him popular. One day
he sent a young tenor to Auber with letter
SO warm that it might be said to stand 2l2 de-
grees in the shade The young tenor sang so
diabolically that Auber had gently but firmly,
to turn him out. Meeting Rossini shortly
after, he expressed, in q most courteously ssr-
castle manner, his surprise and regret that
Rossini should have recommended to him 8
man SO utterly devoid of talent
MY friend" replied Rossini, pleasantly,
"if he had had any talent he wouldn't have
needed any recommendation to you"
Turkish proverbs:
Rival: don't envy.
Sow wrong: reap remorse.
Envy is a sickness never cured.
Poverty is the companion of ambition.
Multiply your children: add to your cares.
A stone from friends hand ia worth an
apple.
Dear things are cheap, if you don't recall
the day you bought them.
The word you hold back is your slave, the
word you say your master.
Make your equal your crony, and be thick
with him who knew your father and grand
father.
Rendering good for good, he is most gener-
Oue WIN UOSlej ONll AOA ONl lO 10
most unjust who begins.
Extracts from LIE Tsm-Tam's "Turf Die
tionary;"
Jockey Club-Club to which they don't aG-
NIT jockeys.
Jockey-Hunsn being who must not weigh
over 100 pounds, under penalty of becoming
a stable boy.
Stable Boy-Important parsonage much
consulted on race days by imbeciles DESTROYS
of straight tips. For beer he will give the
most inaccurate inform, ton in the world.
For $40, the same.
Pedigree-Horse's family tree. Usually
better, and better kept, than his owners.
Handicspper-Man from Bsllston whom
every subscriber but the winner believes to be
an idiot and corruptionist.
Taker-Man who takes odds. So called be-
cause he is usually taken in.
Starter-Msn with flag. Is considered per-
fect if he doesn't give more than nine bad
send-ofs in ten.
Style (of horse)-H action. The faster
horse gallops, the more stylish his action is.