The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1877-02-08
They Carried it Too Far.

Mr.. Butterwick called in to see us the
other day, and in the course Of the con-
versation he said
"I'm going to move. | can't stand those
Thompsons next door to me any longer
They're the awfullest people to borrow
things that | ever saw. Coffee and butter
and sugar and -four / don't mind so much
although when a woman borrows high
priced sugar and Java coffee and sends
back sand and chickory, a man naturally
feels mad. But they've borrowed pretty
near everything in the house. First it's
one thing, then it's another, from morning
till night, right straight along.
"Now, there's the poker A poker is a
piece of machinary that you would think
anybody might 60 around and buy, or, if
they couldn't afford it, they might use
fence paling to shake up the fire. But
Mrs. Thompson seems to banker after our
poker She borrows it fifteen or twenty
times day, and last Saturday she sent for
it thirty four times. She pays a boy two
dollars week to run over and borrow that
poker, and she's used it so much that it's
all bent up like corkscrew
"Now, take chairs for instance She
asks US to lend her our chairs three times
a day, at every meal, and she borrows the
rocking chair whenever she wants to put
the baby to sleep.
"A couple of times she sent over for
sofa, and when the boy came back with it
he said Mrs Thompson was very mad, and
kept growing round the house all day be-
cause there were no castors on it. Last
Monday she borrowed our wash boiler
and we had to put off our washing till
Tuesday. She did her preserving in it,
and the consequence was all our clothes
were full of preserved peaches. Eve got
on an undershirt now that I'm mighty
doubtful if Ell ever get off, it's stuck to me
so tight.
Every now and then she has Company,
and them she borrows our hired girl and
all the parlor furniture; once, because |
would not carry the piano over for her, and
take down the chandelier, she told the girl
that there were rumors about town that |
was a reformed pirate.
'Perfectly scandaous They think
nothing of sending over after a couple of
bedsteads or the entry carpet, and the
other day Thompson says to me
"'Butterwick, does your pump log pull
up easy?'
''And when 1 said Z thought it did, he
said:
"'Well | would like to borrow it for
few days till | can get one, for mines all
rotted away
"The only wonder to me is that he didn't
try to borrow the well with it.
"And then on Tuesday Mrs Thompson
sent that boy over to know if Mrs Butter
wick wouldn't lend her our front door.
She said theirs was away being painted,
and she was afraid the baby would catch
cold. When l asked him what he sup
posed we were going to do to keep comfor-
table without any front door, he said Mrs.
Thompson said she reckoned we might tack
up bod-quilt or something. And when
[ refused, the boy said Mrs Thompson told
him if I wouldn't send over the front door,
to ask Mrs Butterwick to lend her pair
of striped stockings and horse-hair hustle,
and to borrow the coal scuttle till Monday
"What she is going to do with hustle
anu al Sodl SCuIIlS l. COHCelNc
But they're the most extraordinary
people Last fourth of July the boy came
over and told Mrs Butterwick that Mrs.
Thompson would be much obliged if she'd
lend her the twins for few minutes Said
Mrs. Thompson wanted 'em to suck a new
bottle top, because it made her baby sick
to taste fresh India rubber : Cheeky, wasn't
it? But that's her way.
"Why, I've known her to take off our
Johnny's pants when he's been playing over
there with the children, and send him
home bare legged to tell his mother that
she borrowed them for pattern. And on
Thompson's birthday she said her house
was so small for party that if we'd lend
her ours we might come late in the even
ing and dance with the company, if we
wouldn't let on that we lived there
"Yes, sir; I'm going to move. I'd
rather live next door to lunatic asylum
and have the maniacs pouring red hot shot
over the fence every hour of the day |
Indeed l would "-Nan Adeier