davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05
CHURCHES.

Metho,,ia Epi~ppal-Rcv. II. T. West
uastor. Sabbath school at n. IN. y
w. Stocksdale, Supt.
Lutheran-Rev J. Sumers, pastor. Sab
bath school at o'clock p. III. Jos h. W cp
stcr. Supt
Uaited Brsthren--Rev. ]. ID. Freed pas
tor, Sabbath school at u o'clock }. W
Baltzcll, Supc intcndcnt.
Noructan-Rcv l.. P Ciewcll, pastor
sabbath school at O'Clock; James Cree
ger. Superintendent. ,,,,r
Romtn CuAolic-Rcv. Father William
Hill.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

Snoops says if you wish to recollect'
a mans name about these days 60 Sc
curity for his house-rent. For keep
ing your memory fresh, there is hoth--
ing like this plan.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05
SOCIETIES..

4. +, and 4. M, No. 155-Mcets every
second and fourth Monday in each month
Van b. Oslcr, Secretary.
Il. of p No G7-Mect every Friday
night. II. of II. e.. s., &. llarnan.
L. 0. Of 0. r., No. 46-Mcet every
Thursday night ohm Landers, Secy.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

Indisoriminate slaughter of dogs iss
threatening. All right, but remem-
Der that every dog killed leaves sew
eral hundred heas to be cared for and.
amused
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

"Ma, here's word in the paper I
want to, know. What is homicide ?"
"a homicide, child, is, one who,
murders another" "
"Well, ma, when Jack killed our
old Tom cat that was Tommycide,
wasn't it ?
"Pshaw, child, go away and don't
bother me-
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

It would be enough to make any
millionaire's head grow bald by an
ticipation if he could only look ahead,
and see how bis heirs are bound to-
fall out after his death.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

A little boy disputing with his sis
ter on some subject, exclaimed: It's
true, for ma says so, and if ma says
so. it is so, if it amt so.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

Probably one of the most trying
times in a mans life is when he intro,
duces his second wife, seventeen years:
old, to his eldest daughter, who spast.
twenty,
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

Would a citizen of Stoneham ap-.
propriately be called Stonehammer-
er, and a citizen of Randolph Ran
dolphin and 81 native Of Youville a.
Youyillain ?
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

When you stand at gate with a
pretty girl and the moon is shining:
too brightly for kissing, ask her to fit
your necktie, which will require you
to stoop and Eer to stand on tiptoes.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

My luck, exclaimed Bohemian.
is so atrociously bad, that [ believe.
if were to invest in some soap, wash
ing would go out Of fashion to-mor"'
roW.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

The chief result of the Turco-R Rus
sian war thus far has been to awaken
the world to the fact that neither side
knows how to spell.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

A young lady Of Mount Upton, New
York, has just eloped with her faith.
ers gardener. Both spades and.
hearts must be trumps in that game.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

Tom, what in the world put mat
rimony into your head?' We'll, the
fact is, Joe, was getting short Of
shirts.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

The painful perplexity and inde-
cision of the young lady who has the
ankle of a Venus but foot like an
ironing board as she clutches her
dress and steps on a muddy crossing,
is the saddest thing we know, Of.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

The regatta season begins to excite
our punster. He observes that young
ladies who never had sign of beau,
evince remarkable eagerness for beau.
traces.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

The disposition to sit down upon
Turkey is probably due to the fact.
that it is the Ottoman Empire.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

A little girl was suffering with the
mumps, and declared that she felt as
though headache had slipped down
into her neck.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

You know mock k-modesty as you do
mock turtle-from its being the pro-
duce Of a calfs head.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

Away down in the corner of many
a woman's heart turks this sentiment :
old bonnet, no church.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

A man who was beaten with plank.
in a dime lodging house has naturally
brought suit against the proprietor
for giving him too much for his mon--
ey. He didn't want board and bed
for ten cents.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

| proper TO Waken tne weary cniiu'
that she may eat also.
Then Mr.. Tawman says: "Now, you
had better 60. I'll see to the child
III bring the little girl up with me
tonight"
No, no !" exclaims the mother. 81
must have my Ellie with me always,
sir You are very good, though, sir
so very good And there is no
news of the Good Luck?"
Not word, I'm sorry to say
ut can't be possible. The brig must
come in to-day
I'm sure l hope so, with all my
heart and soul, Mrs.Selter."
II know you do, she responds with
sigh.
"Now 60. I'm sorry you have to
waken the child, but | suppose you
cant help it"
"Come, Ellie says the mother,
touching her lightly on the shoulder.
The child with a start, awakes and
cries: "Is it my papa? dear papa =
Then seeing her disappointment,
she hurst into tears.
don't cry, dear-don't cry. The
brig will come in-the brig will come
in Don't cry!" the good old man
speaks soothingly to the sobblng
child and the mother, catching her
hand, walks slowly and sadly away
followed by Mr.. Tawman, who lifts
the little girl down the stairs, and
helps both her and her mother into {,
car.
The next morning the woman is
again lettering about the wharves
with the same agonized inquiry. She
again puts the question to the wharf
men, and again receives only the
same answer. Then, as before, she
seeks the office of the brig owners,
still accompanied by her little girl,
and asks:
"Has the brig Good Luck come in
yet?'
"Not yet, ma'am."
She sighs and looks out the window
at the shipping. She says she will
wait for Mr.. Tawman and sits down.
When Mr.. Tawman comes in, as
usual, he greets her very kindly and
kisses the little girl, and says:
Tin sorry the brig isn't in yet"
"Will it be in to-day ?"
Il hope SO" And he goes behind
his desk and looks over his letters
He has not been long engaged in his
correspondence, when scream from
the woman startles him.
She has arisen and is pointing ex-
citedly sut Of the window.
Here is ship coming in-look !!
look
"That's not it," says a clerk.
"That's schooner
ooh, no!' adds Mr.. Tawman.
"Thats not the Good Luck.
1T is, it isl" she darts from the
Office dragging the child after her,
runs across the crowded street, across
the bustling wharf out to the very
edge of the water.
Mr.. Tawman rushes to the window,
opens it and calls to her. To no pur-
pose, however. All the clerks cluster
about the window to watch her.
"The woman is mad, says one.
"She's going to drown herself!"'
Tawman says quietly to the tele-
graph operator
cts the Mary. "
The schooner is being towed up the
river by tug. She is making prep
arations to anchor in the stream op-
posite the wharf. All this time Mrs.
Setter is standing in the midst Of a
crowd Of excited people, waving her
handkerchief, and the little girl is
waving hers.
"Look look There's a man over
board /" cries one of the clerks. A
cry of alarm goes up from the wharf.
"Thunderr' exclaims Mr.. Tawman
thoroughly aroused. "What does
that mean ?"
"He's swimming like fish" says a
clerk.
"He has landed. Hark at the
cheers T.
"God of Mercy! look look y
shouted the operator. "She is hug
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

Edgeield, Tenn, with populations
Of G,000, has but one drinking saloom
within its corporate limits.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

An educated hog is said to be a.
good mathematician. No doubt he"
excels in "a square root.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05
ORPHANS, COURT.

ORPHANS COUfI.
Ornhons' Court meets every Monday and
Tuesday O: each week
Chief Judge-Wm j. Black.
Associatcs-Thomas HolLrunncr and inc
lIightmGn.
Register Of WMs-Col John X. houzer
Couutv Commissioners-Joseph Wood
President. Samuel Hargctt, Ezra loms
D,n;rj Riser of j., and A. II Simmons.
CVerh to Commiss'"ners-H' + o'e'''e''
Collector Of st~e and County 7ares-"
il Miller.
Cauutv surreyor-Wm. II. Ramsburs.
SCHOOL COMMISSIONERS.
President, James W.Pearre; Comm'S'o,m,-
crs-William G Baker, James w. lroAc"'
,Joseph Brown, Henry Boyle.
JUSTICES OF TIE PEACE.
District No. 15-Frrd'k White, Mccnan
icstown; G H. Firor, Graccl';''h H. ~
Mcpherson. Catoctin Furnace.
REGISTRAR Or VOTERS.
District No. 15-Bernard Co!litlower.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

Many man has ruined his eye
sight by sitting in a bar room looking
for work.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05
DIREC rORY
vF FREDERICK COUNTY
AND
The Borough of MechanlcStown
A WEEKLY NEWSPAPER,

The Borough Of MechaalcStoWn
.-( 20: =
COUNTY OFFICERS:
chef Judge-Hon. X. l. Bowie.
1ssoc,ores-uons. John A LyncA and w.
V. Bouic.
Suites .Attorney-ohn G. Mottcr.
Clerh of Circuit C0urt-Thomas Cor
such.
.Sherif-John Sweadner.
Iuaitor-Fred'k. j. Nelson.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

A mans temper is most valuable
to himself, and he should keep it.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

Ezra Newcomer, an insane patient
at the York County, Pa. Aims House,
has starved himself to death. He
vas first brought to the institution
October IL, 1876, but escaped, and
was brought back on the evening Of
April 10th instant. since which time
he is not known to have taken any
nourishment whatever, except sever
al spoonfuls Of warm milk on the day
he died, Tuesday last. Water is the
only substance he allowed to pass in
to his stomach. He refused to speak
for several days, and since Sunday
was not off his couch. He was "a
years of age, The deceased lived "a
days without nourishment.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

The eastward bound mail on the
Atchinson branch of the Chicago.
Rock Island and Pacific road ran in
to a creek ten miles west Of Washing
ton, Iowa, on the 10Th. The engine,
a baggage and two passenger-cars fell
twenty-five feet through the bridge.
The sleeping, car stopped with third
Of its length over the chasm. About
fifty passengers we're on the train
No one was killed, and none Of the
passengers were dangerously hurt
engineer Ethan Rhodes, Of Wilton,
had a leg broken and was otherwise
injured. Fireman John Moore, Of
Wilton, had both legs broken. Bag
gageman Jake Cody, of Davenport,
had both arms broken and will prob
ably die. Geo. Morton an express
messenger, was badl y crushed, but
will recover. Several passengers We're
slightly hurt. The baggage car and
contents were badly smashed. Had
the sleeper fallen upon the passenger
coaches the loss of life would have
been terrible. The bridge was under
mined by the tremendous rains Of
the night before which flooded the
country.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

A patron of certain newspaper
once said to the publisher. "Mr.
Printer, how is it you never called on
nee for pay for your paper?
"Oh T. said the man Of types, We
never ask a gentleman for money"
"Indeed p replied the PATRON
"How do you manage to get along
when they don't pay?'
"Well," said the editor, "after a
certain time we concluded he is not a
gentleman, and we ask him. "
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

A terrible accident occurred in the
old disused llmekilns near Bridge
port Pa, last week. Five tramps
were sleeping upon the tops of the
broken furnaces, when the walls sud-
denly gave way, burying the men,
Four Of them were crushed to death,
and the fifth, who gives his name as
Charles Blake, Worcester, Mass, was
badly injured and will probably die:
Blake does not know the names OF
those who were killed, but thinks
they were from New York and Mas
sachusetts.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05
REGISTRAR Or VOTERS

District No. 15-Bernard Co!liilowcr.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

Job Work-CAsH ON DELIVERY
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

"Thank God y exclaimed Tawman
land pray Heaven she may not sink
under the shock Poor woman How
she clings to the drenched man Dear
Dear u
Then he puts on his hat and runs
down the stairs like boy and darts
over to where husband and wife and
child are, united and happy.
"Tle Good Luck's' come in!' yells
Tawman Justify.
"Ah! !" he exclaimed, shaking the
Captain by the hand and not caring
for the gaping and wondering crowd
all around him, this is good luck
my boy, isn't it, eh? Did you get my
telegram p
When the man can speak he an
swers.
Eyes"
II planned it ALL chatters old
Tawman. "You see, I got a despatch,
yesterday, from the Breakwater, say
ing that Captain Seller had been
picked up on raft by the schooner
.Marv bonnd in and that vou were
coming up by rail from Lewes. | tel.
egraphed back word for you to come
up in the schooner for certain pur-
pose. The shock would have been
worse to her if | hadn't. | told her
when | put her in the car yesterday,
that the brig would come in and it
did. Over to the office, every one of
you, and after dinner and dry cloths,
Cap we'll have a talk about business.
Come on!"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

dlngy office like this. Here, little
one, come here; give me kiss. A
bright, pretty little dear, Mrs. Sel'
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1877-07-05

NN and after Sunday, May 49, 1875,
~ Passenger Trains will run as fol-
The Beaufort tribune and Port Royal commercial. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1877-1879, 1877-03-08
Croup in Children >

This disease causes death by suffoca-
ton. The entrance Of the windpipe is
very small; !; a little cold causes the hn1
ing of the part called the mucous MEM
brane to swell. 81, This .diminishes the
sub-mucous infiltration-that is, this
mucous membrane, being infamed,
throws out an extra amount of fluid, like
the eye, when it is infamed. This fluid
hardens and forms at length a kind OF
a layer, which is sometimes of an almost
leathery toughness, increasing in thick
ness until the orifice is 80 nearly closed
that the breath is obstructed. Nausea
ting medicines dilute this formation and
thus aid to, bring it away, A favorite
prescription for quarter Of q century
with eminent physicians was. to mix O
teaspoonful of powdered alum with a
little sugar to make it palatable. The
immediate effect is to nauseate, giving
great relief in minute sometimes.
Flannels dipped in ice cold water,
changed every two minutes, and squeezed
a little SO as not to dribble and wet the
clothing, is an excellent remedy; be-
cause it cools the parts and dimimshes
the amount of blood sent there, and as the
phlegm is made out of the blood, less
amount is made and relief is certain.
But flannel dipped in water as hot as can
be borne and applied to the part,
changed every two minutes, carries off
the heat by evaporation, and irritating
the surface, brings the blood away from
the interior and thus diminishes the
phlegm.
The Beaufort tribune and Port Royal commercial. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1877-1879, 1877-03-08
A Rich Shoemaker.

In the taxables of Brooklyn, says q
local paper, appears the name OF Ger
man whose annual payments for taxes
exceed those of many of the so-called
princely merchants who live on the
Heights. He pays taxes yearly upon
real and personal property assessed at
$250,OO0, but worth probably double
that amount. Yet this man works hard
at the bench every day, and If he spends
a dollar in recreation for his wife and
children on Sunday he thinks it is q big
thing. He has no help, but works tor Q
few customers, doing all their work and
caring nothing about any OF them. II
they are displeased with his way OF
doing things he simply says they can
take their work elsewhere, and he sorely
tries their patience by his habit OF dis
appointing his customers as to time.
This man collects his own rents, builds
two or three new houses every year, and
from his frugal habits promises, if bis
Life is long spared, to be one OF the
wealthiest of all the Brooklynites. His
yearly income from real estate is not less
than Sis, 900 per annum, but he regards
idleness as sin, and works away every
day upon boots and shoes as regularly
as If his bread and butter were in jeop-
arly '..'s .. .. ~ co.
The Beaufort tribune and Port Royal commercial. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1877-1879, 1877-03-08
= = .. ss =. =.
Turkeys Circular Note.

The circular of the Porte on the fail
ure of the conference, dated January
25, after recapitulating the arguments
iustifying the rejection of the pro
posals of the powers, comments In a
very contemptuous tone on the assertion
made by Gen. Ignatieff at the final sit
ting of the conference, that the Porte by
it's action had virtually abrogated the
treaty of Paris. The Porte declares that
nothing would have been easier for the
Turkish delegates, if they had consld-
cred such a course expeaient, than to
show that Gen. Ignatieffs assertion was
defective both in form and substance.
The delegates, however, remained silent,
as Gen. Ignateffs remarks were irrele-
want to the object Of the conference.
The European delegates by their silence
gave an unequivocal sign Of astonish-
ment at the language in which Gen. Ig-
natieff pretended to express the views OF
the whole conference.
The Beaufort tribune and Port Royal commercial. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1877-1879, 1877-03-08
A Hawk Among Hens.

Gilbert White tells most dramatic
story of neighbor who had lost most OF
his. chickens by q sparrow hawk that
came gliding down between a faggot
pile and the end of his house, to the
place where his coops stood. The owner,
vexed to see his fiocks diminishing. hung
a net between the pile and the house,
into which the bird dashed and was en-
tangled. The gentleman's resentment
suggested fit retaliation he therefore
clipped the hawks wings, cut of his
talons, and, fixing cork on his blil,
threw him down among the brood hens.
=" Imagination," says Mr.. White, can
not paint the scene that ensued the eI-
preston that fear, rage, and revenge in:
spired we're new, or at least such as had
been unnoticed before; the exasperated
matrons upbraided, they e1ecrated, th y
insulted, they triumphed. In a wo-d
thew never desisted from buffeting their
adversary till they had torn him in
hundred pieces.-Scribner.
The Beaufort tribune and Port Royal commercial. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1877-1879, 1877-03-08
Life in a London Workhouse.

81 works in the laundry at the work
house from nine o'clock until five every
day, and sometimes 1 feels the want OF
something" was the defense of poor
old woman to the charge OF having been
found "drunk and incapable in the
public streets. She was an inmate OF st.
Giles workhouse, and is,over eighty-two
years Of age. -,
If in that workhouse, which is filled
with plenty of younger and able bodied
persons, this poor old creature, who has
exceeded by thirteen long years the aliot-
ted span, is made to work in the laundry
for eight hours day, all, We can say is
that it is simply monstrous. Our work
houses were not intended to be slave
yards. The test of labor was never ir-
tended to be applied to octogenari, ns.
We trust that the guardians of st. Giles
will afford some explanation of this. 1t
is due to the ublic,-Lo,adon Examiner.
The Beaufort tribune and Port Royal commercial. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1877-1879, 1877-03-08
Tasting of the RectOr's Legs.

The rector of rural parish in Eng
land visited lady parishioner who kept
a Fyreneean wolf-dog, and the good lady
took the young rector into the garden to
see the dog. He entered the garden
placid, clean, and contented clergyman,
but he was destined to emerge from it
demoralized, denuded, and partially
disintegrated man. '.''F
The dog was young, but had already
learned the difference in flavor between
the legs of the footman, the buttons,
and the housemaid. 1t certainl y was not
his fault thatwhen he saw his first clergy
man, in the person of Rev. DIR. Owen,
he mentally remarked: Here's some
thing new in legs" and promptly pro-
ceeded to collect data with q view to
their classification as q species distinct
from the household legs with which he
was already familiar. 81.
No sooner had this enterprising animal
made few preliminary shifts at DIR.
Owens legs, and tasted trife of coat
tail, than he retired few PAGES, In
order to get fair start, and then sprang
upon his victim with violent and deter.
mined yells. For the next five minutes
the air was filled with fragments of cloth
and clergyman, and welkin, which
happened to be conveniently near, rang
lii ke patent railway switch bell Mrs.
! Honeywood, with great presence of
mind, went into the house for broom
and dust pan, being unwilling that a
dissenting housemaid should have the
privilege of sweeping up the rector. By
the time she had returned to the scene
with her household implements the
greater part OF the rector had escaped
over the palings, and the infuriated dog
was worrying the lighter pieces that
had been left behind. y a. I'm.
Fearful. that the accident might create
| a GOODNESS between herself and her
spiritual guide, Mrs. Honeywood wrote
him note, apologizing for the playful
ness of her pet, and hoping that it had
not caused him "any Inconvenience. !"
She also sent him partially chewed
rag, remarking: 81 found the inclosed
piece of cloth on the gravel walk, and
send it to you, as I think it belongs to
your great coat, and you may be able
to put it in" Strange as it may seem,
this cheerful note did not produce the
desired effect. The rector answered 1t,
but he also procured summons requir-
ing Mrs. Honeywood to answer the
charge of keeping dangerous wild
beast, and she was fined $40 for in
dulging in the luxury.