Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1877-09-19
A Hunt for an Epltaph.

and he dropped upon the startle,
advertising clerk with the mysterj
GUS whisper Of
"SheS goner
"WhO's gone! 7, asked the clerk.
"Marrier.'
"Who in thunder's Marrier y
"My wife; she's gone.r
"Gone where n
"Up above-tlicd last night; wan,
you to put in your next issue
what allied her 7,
"Lockjaw. She lay for three
weeks and couldn't speak. Never
had such u quiet time in the house
before. just do the notice up fine,
will you, and I'll see that everything
is fixed up all right
Accordingly the clerk scrubbed
away for a moment, and handed out
what he had written for inspection.
and CURLY remarked:
dollar thirty-five.r s.
The bereaved husband read il
over carefully, and finally gave a
sigh of satisfaction.
That's all right" said he, hand.
ing over the required specie, "but |
s'pose yon could put a verse on the
end of it, couldn't your --
swell, yes" ruminated the clerk.
81 guess so; what kind of verse do
You want y
"Suthin' tender like and sorrow.
full.
Show would this do 7, asked the
clerk, scratching his head with the
end of his pcnhOlder:
A perfect female, folks did consider her.
She's gone and left weeping widower.
THAT'S kinder melancholy re.
Elected the stranger, "but reckon
it's leetle-iust a leetle-too DER.
sonal. just you try again. 1 don't
mind putin up haDsum for sum.
thin that1l rake folks heart
strings
The clerk gazed at the ceiling for |
a moment, and then suggested:
The husband lost wife,
The children ma;
Died on Friday night,
From the took jaw.
eyes, broke out the mourner.
viping bis nose on a black .bordered
handkerchief, "but l don't own any
'Oung uns y
"What do you think of this, then,r
She always was contented,
At life she'd never carp.
Gone to be an angel
And plaS-on golden harp.
"Don't believe that'll suit. You
ee Marier couldn't even play ON a
tanner, an l know q harp would
lump her, sure. Poor woman she {
ad tender heart, though, and
'ade the most elegant biscuit you !
ver saw
changed If 1 won't have TO charge !
'u EXTRA" growled the clerk. 81
mt a LOngtellow or Tennyson.'
III know" meekly replied the
eepiDg widower. "Just try once .
ore, won't your {
So the clerk did try, and at last p
'ound out the following:
On earth could not stay Marier. I.
30 she died and went up higher. '
"Sorter irrevelant, amt it n anxi. y
sly asked Marier's relict. az !.
exon l wouldn't grudge q couple :
dollars for hang.u verse; =
Thus stimulated, the machine :,
ct became suddenly inspired and ~
ultingly produced "
Cry for Marier, =,
Alas! she is no more N =,
Joined the singing seraphs
On the other shore. "
The afflicted one uneasily took a II
ew of tobacco and whispered,
But here's one thing
1t spiles it. Marier hadn't any sy
re melody in her than an old o.
w, and it's deliberit lynn to speak g
her as vocalist. None of them A
Ter syrups (seraphs) you alluded u
could keep time with her." y
'Well,' thought1ully remarked u
disconnected rbymester, s'if this 10
T all .. n, You will have to EN-. ve
> a special poet; I'm played out:' y.
Affection sore 0'
Long time she bore.
Physicians were IN vain,
Iockjaw ketched her, be
Death il fetched her- l..
Gone to rise again. =
Tell you WHAT enthusiastically al
laimed the widower, "that's tip X,
. Here's Your two dollars; you've .o'
1T them. A young man that can c o
ke up such afectin' lines as them he
q glorious fntur before him. ~,
md squeezing the exhausted ~
to hand, the elated speaker left L.,
search Of q pair Of black cotton n
res.
bout this time, when 0 woman I'm