The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1877-12-22

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different ways.
Mamma fsternly)-"Now, Miri-
am, say grace" Miriam (who for
previous misconduct has been de-
privsd of pudding)-"For ali they
have received, let them be truly
thankful"
''That clock, stranger" said q
farmer, "was the best kind of a
clock up to six months ago, when
my daughter began to have beaux,
and now the blamed thing is al
ways two hours slow"
Secret sins are anchors, which,
as long as they continue, fasten
the soul to the earth It may swing
to and fro with religious emotions,
like balloon whose cords are un-
cut may wave to and fro in the air,
but it can never ascend to heaven.
Probably no Characteristic of the
female mind is better developed
than the docility with which wo-
men accept the fashions of the day.
Be they beautiful or hideous, be-
coming or unbeeon1ing, comfortable
or torturing, they are the fashion"
and must be worn.
Old Lady (who sleeps badly -
"Now, Mary, if I should want to
light my candle, are the matches
there?' Mary-."Yes, ma'am, there's
wan" Old Lady-"Onei Why, if
it misses fire, or wont light 2"
/ Mary-"Oh, divil fear Of it,
ma'am. Sure l thried it."
"Do you enjoy going to church,
now?" asked lady Of Mrs. Par
tington. ola, me, I do" said Mrs.
Darlington. Nothing does me so
much good as to get up early on
Sunday morning and go to church,
and hear a populous minister dis
pense with the gospel"
The boon is beabig brightly, love,
The stars are shidig too;
While I am gazing dreabily,
Add thingkig, love, OBJ you;
You caddot, oh, you caddot know,
bly, darlig, how I bliss you
(Oh, what fearful cold I've got
Ok-tish-u! Ch-ch-tish-u!)
A fond parent who bought q cow
for his summer residence in antici.
patton of the delight that the pro-
duct would cause his little daugh-
ter, was somewhat chagrined when
Miss Pert, looking upon q pan Of
nectar, exclaimed: ooh, the horrid
yellow scum. It is not half so good
as the nice blue milk we get in the
CITY,"
A school-board inspector asked a
small pupil of what the surface Of
the earth consists, and was prompt
-ly answered, "Land and water"
He varied the question slightly,
that the fact might be impressed
on the boys mind, and asked:
what, then, do land and water
make?" To which came the imme-
date response: "Mud."
Curious answers often come out
in examination for the civil service.
The word inheritance" occurring
in page of reading, the examiner
interrogated the youngster: "What
is inheritance?" ''Patrimony."
"What is patrimony ?" Something
left by father" "What would
you call it if left by o mother ?"
"Matrimony."
While T. d. Jones was in Co
lumbus, modelling the bust OF
Chase, young man of the Sparker
order of architects approached him
one night at a social gathering with
the following inquiry: "Er-er--
sayl er-er SO you're the man-er---
that makes mud heads, Ant you ?"
eyes," said Tom, blandly; edo you
want new one?"
4 man cannot afford to be un-
faithful under any circumstances;
man cannot afford to be mean at
any time; man cannot afford to do
less than his best at all times and
under all circumstances. No mat
ter how wrongfully you are placed,
and no matter how unjustly you
are treated, you cannot, for your
own sake afford to use anything but
your better services. You cannot
afford to lie to liar; YOU cannot
afford to do other than deal up
rightly with any man, no matter
what exigeneies may exist between .
btrp.on1 vor, No man oa,, afford