Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1877-06-08
F. U N :

F. U ny
FROM THE MICROSCOPE TO THE WooD-
PILE.-The other day a Detroit father pur-
chased a microscope for his son, a boy of
ten, patted the lad on the shoulder, and
said to him:
''My boy, take this microscope and go
out and study the beauties of nature'
The boy left all other amusements for
that, and he took such great interest and
improved so rapidly that at the tea-table,
to which several visitors sat down with
the family, he felt that he must make some
remarks. Turning to one of the ladies, he
inquired:
ibid you ever look at a cheese through
microscopes
II don't think ever did, ''she pleasant
ly replied.
''Well, you just ought to see the things
crawl
'sJohn John!" exclaimed the father,
table,
John subsidized for minute or two, and
when his mother passed the cheese around
everybody said:
''Thank you, no."
Pretty soon the young student, desiring
to mollify his father, said:
''Father, did you ever look at toad
through microscopic"
81 will talk with you after supper" re-
piled the parent, scowling at the boy.
John was rather disappointed at his
failure to arouse enthusiasm, and just as
the strawberries were being passed around,
he remarked
swell, you just ought to look at a straw
berry once through the microscope. They
look just like warts, they do, and you
think you see bugs running"
"Jawn ~ said his mother.
boy ~ warned his father.
''Well, they looked worse than flies
heads,'' protested the boy, who imagined
they doubted his veracity, ''for flies:
"Boy!" said the father, making mo-
ton for John to leave the table.
John left, and as soon as it was conve-
the lad to the wash-room in the basement,
bounced him around, and said
my son, gimme that microscope, and
you take the ak and &C out and study the
beauties of that wood-pile.'
If that boy continues to feel the way he
Der instead of naturalist. Free
Press.
At every railroad station, no matter how
great or humble, there is ever one woman,
on whose face fingers a look of anxiety
deep enough to burden nation, and whose
short, quick breaths lift far above the
ceaseless rattle and din, as she worms her
way through the bustling crowd, grasping
an aEtiquated handbook in one hand, ana
in the other melancholy house-plant,
stuck in a broken-nosed pitcher.
. Mrs. Stowe says we never know how
much we love, until we unlove. Harriet,
your head is horizontal. No one can dis
pute your assertion who has ever gazed
upon a pallid boy, looking at the stump Of
his first cigar, and wondering what is 60
ing to become of him and how soon it will
happen.
When householder, struggling to get
a PANEL bedstead down stairs, loses his
grip on the railing, brings up against the
hall door and the bedstead brings up
against him, nine wives out of ten will
open the sitting room door and mildly in
quire, Richard, didn't hear something
fali?"
Many Romans who have toted coal from
the cellar all winter. will hear with no
small degree of evaporation that divorce
can be secured for five dollars in Nebraska
The past cannot be remeded, but it may be
well to keep this item pasted in your hat
until next fall.
"Can't stop minute-baby's crying.
but just ran over to tell yon that Mrs.
Jones' husband came moment ago just
as unsteady OF his legs as he could be.
Only think !! Must go-knew you were not
at the window. Goodbye, love''
''What do you get from iodine?" asked
the medical professor of one of our popu-
lar colleges. ''We get-a-ah-usually get
idiotic acid,' yawned the student. s'Haye
you been taking some?" quietly asked the
professor.
A colored preacher in Alabama puts his
foot on corrupt bribery at elections, and
brushes it. "Dis ting he says, lob git
tin hundred dollars for a vote, is all
wrong. Ten dollars is as much as it's
worf'
If the saying were true, how easily one
could earn his living now by the sweat of
his brow?" He would only have TO stand
in the sun for few minutes. and wonld
be comparatively wealthy.
Jim:"What's General Grant dom now?o
Sambo: HES done retired to make Gran
on dat forty acres of land wild dat mule
you niggers spected you was gwiDe to git
Dobbs says he has one of the most ODE
dent boys in the world. He tells him do
as he pleases, and he does it without muir
muring.
You can always detect bachelor by the
way he handles baby; but it is well to use
a borrowed baby in making the experi-
ment.
Why are cashmere shawls like deaf