The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1877-08-28
PROFIT AND Ls,NH.
a Thrilling EspiSOde In the Ll;C
OF II SOdR-FOunIain Engineer.

n ENr1IAtng ESplHOuc IN the Lie
OF II SOdR-FOunIain Engineer.
From the Worcester Press,
A gentleman not entirely ignorant Of
the ways Of the world, nor wholly desti.
tute Of fertility Of resource, was making his
way toward boston on an accommodation
train. He dropped Of at a way station
and bought q glass Of soda.water at a re.
freshment stand, throwing down silver
quarter in payment. The man at the 30.
da.fouutain leisurely iumbled around for
the change while the bell of the ngine
was ringing and the conductor was shout.
ing "All aboard" and the tarveler was
forced to miss the train or lose his change.
The train was hardly under motion lie.
fore the travelling man had inquired OF
brakeman the name OF the soda.water
vender and was scribbling on telegraph
blank which he took from the package in
the car. At the next station he rushed
to the window Of the telegraph office and
sent Collect the following message to the
sOda-water man:
Does sweetehed wind still remain firm
at % cents glass?
The young man at the soda-fountain
had promised TO see his "best girl" off on
the train when she passed through the
place il she would advise him through
telegraph Of her coming, and in an out.
burst Of generosity had insisted that she
should send the message at his expense. So
he readily paid for the dispatch which the
receding traveller had sent back. To say
that he was mad is 10 putt mildly. He
was in regular rage until he reflected
that it was better to have paid for the
message than 10 have refused one which
might have been from the idol OF his heart
and thus have permitted her to pass with.
out experiencing the anticipated interval
Of bliss. well, after all, the old fellow il
only little more than even with me, he
soliloquized, "and I'll make it up on the
less ingenious chaps who come along be.
fore night" Meanwhile he awaited the
arrival OF the telegram from his sweet.
heart-and the train bore the inQuisitiye
old gentleman on toward the Hub. At
length two unpaid messages were brought
to the soda-wRter man. He reasoned as
follows: "One ia from her and the other
is from him. II could look ut them be.
fore paying"-but he couldn't. So he
shut his eyes and grabbed one OF them,
for luck, and paid the charges. Evident.
ly it was not from her, for 1t read:
Are you still selling medicated foam
Tor % cents glass?
The young man delayed swearing until
he should open the other envelope and
learn il his girl was on the train which
was then almost due. SO, mentally cur.
sing his poor luck in choosing the wrong
message, he paid Tor the other and read:
Couldn't you sgui1le me out glass of
high-pressure froIh for 25cents iii would
come back.
BY this time he was too mad to swear
A rhyming dictionary Of polyglot pro.
family wouldn't have enabled him to ex.
press his feelings. He shut his teeth to.
gether in his sleepless rage; and when
the boy pranced in with another message
marked "cOllect" there was density OF
green peaches in the surrounding atmos.
Phere, anu Inc boy wns glad to retire
with his unpaid message and his life.
The day wore on and no more messages
sent at his expense we're received. A dis.
patch did come, however, received Just at
nightfall, and on 1t there was no charge.
The dispatch was dated at way station
40 miles TO the west, and 1t read:
Thou villain. Don't write me that YOU
were out Of town when the dis.
patch came. Isaw your hideous top.
knot at the window. Hencelorth l des.
pisc thee. We are AZ strangers on the op.
posite sides Of the world. This is sent at
my expense so | don't feel compelled to
stop Mt ten words. John Smith.
There was no uncertainty in the mind
OF the young man as TO the identity Of
John Smith" The hand was the hand
OF the telegraph operator, but the words
were the unmistaEeable ut.erances OF a
sighted and angered sweet heart.
Before closing his shop for the night
he prepared his balance sheet on the In.
side Of paper caudy.box.cover:
PROFIT on 'odaat 10 ceuts......O7
EAtFa...."."..".........-l5