The Leavenworth weekly times. [volume] (Leavenworth, Kan.) 1870-1880, 1877-12-20
How n Minister'S Small BOY Got
Even With His Father.

The season of donation parties is rapidly
approaching, and the country minister, es-
pecially IN New England, is earnestly
hoping that his frequent, and apparently
casual, remarks as to the Embellishments
of beans may guide the thoughts of his gen.
erous parishiOners into other channels. The
donation party is a shrewd device on the
part of thrifty church-goers to compound
Tor their failure 10 pay their minister a
proper salary by giving him a collection OF
bulky and cheap articles which he does not
want. Still, upon the broad principle that
something is better than nothing, the impe-
cunious minister clings to the donation
party, and cheerfully hopes that the day
will come when his parishioners will cease
TO believe that full grown minister and a
growing ,mily can subsist exclusively upon
beans and pen-wipers. 1t its inception, the
donation party was, of course, a voluntary
affair; but in many places it is now as reg
ular and inevitable as Christmas. Occs-
sionally a congregation endeavors to let the
season pass by unnOticed, but in most cases
the minister boldly meets the emergency by
announcing from the pulpit that ''the an
such a day whereupon the congregation
meekly collects its beans and pen-wipers,
and testifes in the usual manner its love
Tor its Pastor.
Naturally, the donation party is a solemn
and depressing affair. When people who
do not want to give away anything, give to
their Pastor things which he does not want,
the ceremony does not promote hilarity.
In order to render the donation party some
what less gloomy than funeral, those who
bring gifts usually include among them a
supply Of cake, sandwiches, and in some
cases ice-cream. These refreshments are
distributed in equal proportion between the
interior of the visitors and the exterior OF
the minister's carpets and chair-cushions,
and hollow pretense of cheerfulness is
thus kept up. Meanwhile, and the chill
dren of the congregation retire TO the second
story front bedroom, where they play va
rious games and break good deal of furni-
ture. The children have much the best Of
the whole affair, and they add materially
to the anguish of the minister's wife, as she
wonders how many Of them will fall against
the stove, and whether they will set the
house ON fire when they upset the lamp.
The peculiar character Of Rev. Mr.. Will
cox's recent donation party and the unfor-
tunate results which followed it, were due
solely TO his small boys disgust at being
forbidden to take part in the juvenile cake
orgies of the party. A week before the
date fixed for the annual visit TO the pastor,
this small boy had been detected in the set
of creeping into his bedroom window At
midnight, after q secret visit to the circus.
The ensuing interview with his father did
not materially depress his spirits, since he
took the precautiOn to plate the vital pOr-
ton of his trousers with concealed shingles,
but when he was sternly told that, as fur
ther penalty, ne would be put to bed at pre-
cisely o'clock on the night Of the dona-
ton party, he felt his punishment was in
human, and wickedly resolved TO get
square," a. he profanely remarked, with his
father, no matter what it might cost.
During the next six days that astute but
fearfully depraved email boy called upon
every one Of his fathers parishioners, and
frs, pledging them to secrecy, explained.
with tears in his eyes, that his dear father
was passionately fond Of cabbages, and If
any one desired to gladden. the parental
heart they would bring few cabbages to
the donation party. The small boy further
asserted that his fathers sense OF delicacy
forbade him TO make the most distant allu-
sion to cabbages, but that a. an a6ectionate
son, he-the small boy-felt it to be his duty
TO mention the matter to some noble and
generous man. Each parishoner was de-
lighted BY this display Of 6lial affection and
the recollection that cabbages we're extreme
" cheap, and unhesitatingly promised
that he would bring = whole load of cabba-
ges.
The night of the donation party arrived,
and the small boy went to bed, but not to
sleep. With much forethOught he had
stolen the KEY of his bedroom, and thus
rendered it impossiblefor his father to keep
him q close prisoner. Each parishioner ar
rived In large farm wagon, which, after
having discharged its human freight At the
front door, was driven into the yard. The
minister and his wife did not, of course,
know the contents Of the wagons, but sup
posing that the popular feeling was express
ing itself TO an unprecedented extent in
wood, four-barrels, and winter apples,
were greatly delighted. At $50 sixty-three
wagons had entered the yard, and only
three pecks of beans and eleven pen-vipen
had been deposited on the popular tsble.
The happy minister was beginning to think
that 1t least twenty cords Of wood, toeethw
With, saya dozen barrels Of Aour, MUS have
hen delivered in he back yard, vhea -
dsnly III snan bog, eDeAdsaf thss be voaA
M g panishsa i pahlie, enfessd he paslse
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