The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1877-09-22
my WIEE's VICTIM.

ness. / ought to be very happy man.
but | nin't. l am naturally modest
man; but l don't EXPECT you to believe
it. / met Permit SIzer Dow at II quilt |
ing sCrape, and she married me In three |
months. | am told that | married her, /!
but l shall insist to my dying day, that
| was in happy ignorance of my fate un-
til the people commenced to call me Mr.. |
Dow. No, | mean to call her Mrs. -, !
my name. Why amt l happy? l Will
try and lel you. l don't expect you to |
credit word L say--Iny wife neverdoes, |
and no more should you; but L have no
cons clentious scruples against swear |
ing, II that will be needed, to give force |
to nv narrative or tale. In the first |
place, my wife loves me. Startling as |
tn IS fact may appear to the world, |
nevertheless put it forth as truth; ii 1T
IS an original idea, l do not hesitate to |
claim the originality.
Now, to be severely logical. w by |
does the tact of her love make me un-
happy? l will tell you. Sue takes the |
newspapers. And lest you may not see |
my inference, l will add, she clips out
all the recipes for health, and, by thun-
der! makes me lake 'em. Do you see!
But will not overWhelm you with evil
dences of my dear wltl's ilAatuatlon a.
is at this time assuming Lne form OF posi-
tive madness, J, but shall select d lew 10
have You consider my unfortunate con-
uition. But don't PITY me!-uont! Pity
would drive me mad, and
"Each frail fiber OF my brain
Would send fortn my thoughts all wild and
wide"
The first occasion had to notice my
dear Wle's pecularlty was IN mid
| winter, about three weeks atter GU
nuptials. l awoke in the night with
| npl
Ulankety feeling, generally. as sur
urised TO find SIX inches of snow ON a
| IeYel in my rOom, and aGcumulaung So
lraUiul, that it Daue fair soon to be nine.
The cause of this eltSlt intrusion being
the window open to us full length ana
tue drilt-snow making Tor our cnamber-l
stove. On inquIrins about this new al
arrangement OF any utler nall, she mildly
informed me:
| "D5ar, l nad read in the newspaper,
the other day, that we should never
sleep without having the WIndoWs open,
ituat we breaIhed out So much air, and
then breatneu it ouL again, and out anu
j back, and tnat, love, we must always
keep the windows up"
1 Now am no saint. 1t don't run in
our family. Ana II any of the brothers
= of the cuurCl Of which | am an unWOr-
thy member had heard the expressions
, useu, as / waded through the snow 10
that window, l am sure [ shDul1 have
been reported at tue next couerence.
My troubles haU just begun. Mrs.
-, my wife, is a determined woman,
and although we nave COMPROMISED on
whole WluuoW hosHngs, sue Watcues
me narrowly, and no sooner do l 90
, from one room TO tue other tuan-pOp
E into the room have lett, and up goes
| the window. | have mildly suggested
4 to her often that tue nelgnbors, seeing
luis state Of affairs, may put false con-
lsiruction on uer actions III TINS "espect,
. construction highly iElurlous to her
husband. But | assure you Wnen meh-
tiun this, she ii us me. and l am dumo.
= When my vile lakes up newspaper
-, [ tremble. l have but slightly aguelah
" mptOms when she is going over the
marriages and deaths, but When she
,, gets through these anu lastehS hHi
II glance uDon the "u0usekeepings,'
a 'UseIuls," "Recipes," and "EXtracta
e from Journals OF Aealtn,' l know am
5 a guner. watch ner mario " ly at these
u times, and if sue looks up and lasten'
u ner eve upon me | know she is gettlht
ready for some new experiment. aud m5
= cnilis are unmIs takabl4 ana decided.
a One day she surprised me by Insisting
e that | should puU on pair OF WOoleI
Il stochlnss. aus ""i1o' ,,a .,,UI,' ,"noIa;.' ne,
a she Aue" L ne1ei "0e ''O"' N'
4 mage lny IeGS 81. 1ros +bo ronlv or ius
Never niluu, ""o +ht tne '.p1y' ,lny 49, JS,,
:. reau III ne"spnpel 'nat a ,peS WAL Pte
e Veh1 you llotii '"htnS oo'u. .,,a.,-,
IS leoeiie,' ~ .. @ DuS ouU SUM ~
f me; anu NJ" an ,"Ine' , Gnu .' we oul Us
e ana chllplalhS, anu punions, out ~ u
Y nov Cahe coiu' 40 o,I0n as aoi
y merry, Wn'Gn w. oolu "aCel.
My "lie haslns ieau .n"V d" oIei 49, " 40
o sovereign lelneoy Nv. o. DuH at's, ebo
ii lol soule Ilin1 "onS ""II - q 'Vt ~
If "ni
il snoM 49, t,I
i. IL, tnaV : snDu,' "o nav A"" ""'0A on VI
i. brain, ons az. l.,,,
II 1h Ine iiloi mn az 'ou' I" ootu o"th vni
e calieu NY ciach p"In, "ecarSe 1 @ me WIZ
,e uom was "tms to, sy ,f - vpenh Io,V m"nei an
colo le"U ~ d',,,. ~ ti$ "VnI oI ~ 10"
t. ala @ lee' ~ ti,tia ha,ta, eoI'o o oii %'n
10 anu eaO NJ f.n p"i.e 9Uup ooi9. - + ~ W.
20 oelocN w. ha,h AAy i,r lTIu' h - - 0in w. w.
~ ~ omIe) M Gno e,oinnl 1s CO., -
r T, colu. M = AVN had "9 9no1''
= ~ hip>,I'',,a ioo,IIv -
- piiG" 'noito i''ito hn',,ad 20 .o, hol, - -
To- IA. VIZ M stf1hv',I"ot ~ uGin oi "
~ w,'o is mnI wos rTt ~ ,,o,,,s,
~ u"3I If tho savorasp ~ run'nto,
o.nnIo FirsL dnv nraot,Han thrn