The daily intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Territory [i.e. Wash.]) 1876-1881, 1877-09-15
BREVITIES.
" by DO you larf?

DN AhAb 80 hti4A
Sargent's marble bust Is 81 red for
sale.
Mrs. Hayes wants all the Cabinet to
sign the pledge
EvaFts smokes long cigar, 50 as not
TO burn his moustachc
Any town with whipping post
would be avoided by tramps.
With telephone and wife, ough'rt
a man to hear all that's going on.
Boston ha, been harvesting a crop of
wild Oats. aud her troIt name is Alice
IL isn't necessary TO ask people to
take seats in an editorial room-they
do it anyhow.
Never stare at 1. lady should she
avail herself of an opportunity to ad-
just her false teeth
y Chlnaman says that in Shanghai
the BOOSTERS are taught to cease Growing
before daylight.
Woamn ought 10 do all she can to
make this earth a paradise for men, as
it was ali her fault to lose the other.
Always help the poor tramp along.
Ii you haven't got anything else handy
to help him with, try a shotgun.
Some things have changed, but peo-
pie who slip up on Grange peel. exper-
ience the same conclusion our fore
fathers dad.
The Russians have discovered that
. oxen make good cavalry horses The
riders can face either way and feel per
fectly at home.
In New jersey when they want TO
praise "a man they say, He has such n
mean looking face that fly wouldn't
light on it,"
Henry Ward Beecher knows that
poor men can live on dolllr per day,
because it costs him only $4,000 year
to pail along.
Let's see. Did Rhode Island have
strike And if she did what became
Of him after the military company got
into the State:
Anna Dickinson started out to re-
form the Stage. As she hasn't men-
toned the idea lately. we'd like to
know how the idea panned out
In this enlightened age few will
believe that our streets are paved with
gold, yet it would puzzle clever con-
tractor to pave them without.
Il cant drink liquor" said Bob, lit
goes right to my head" Well said
Bob's friend, Where could it go with
less danger Of being crowded =
A gushing poets asks, in the first line
of recent ctfuson How many weary
pilgrims lie? We give it up. But cX-
perience has taught us there are good
many.
The Boston Pest says that when
strikers demand the same wages for a
poor hand as good one, they should be
as consistent and pay as much for soup
bone as nice roast.
II am busy plowiug and cannot en-
tertain company" was the substance of
note sent by Swinomish belle in re-
ply to an invitation that gentleman
desired to see her.
Cocoa leaves are said to be an admi-
rablc substitute for liquor, and equally
stimulating. Won't somebody intro
duce them to the notice Of this intoxi-
Gated community!
Whisky is solds in Rome which will
enable Il blind man to see sea-serpeut
900 feet long, in the middle of a twenty
acre lot Of dry sand, and yet the people
complain of dull times
Commodore anderbilt's widow man
ages to squeeze along on an income OF
S52, 900 per year, and it isn't likely that
she ever sighs for the days when she
taught school for three dollars per
, week.
The United States army is being rap
idly put on war footing. Three sol
diers have just reported for duty at
Vancouver, and man in the hospital
with a sore leg will soon be ready for
business
"ln the sentence. John strikes Will
liam remarked n school teacher yestcr-
day. What is the object of strikes y
Higher wages and shorter runs,
promptly replied the intelligent pupil.
\ whole train passed over man on
the Southern Pacific Railroad the other
day. but when the engineer and conduc-
tor went TO look for him, he was walk
. ing off singing, "SAve your Kisses All
for Ne"
Jennie June says the most deveut
woman in England would stay away
from church if the miliner happened 10
send her bonnet home Saturday night
with but one blue flower where there
should have been pink one.
\ dry goods c,erk told man that
gloves of the 'half-grown lemon" shade
were appropriate for young girls, be
cause they are n reminder to your heart
smasher that the hands they arc on are
not fit to squeeze yet.
Josh Billings says there is one thing
abou, hens that looks like wisdom
they don't kackle much until after they
have laid their egg. Sum pholks are
alwus Dragging and hacking what
they are going tew do beforehand
As proof of how strangely things
beeome associated with familiar recol-
lec,ions. i, may be mentioned that
many a married man rarely looks upon
An old. battered, worn-out broom IN an
ash barrel without deep emotion
If fBarnum don't succeed in getting
that female in England who allows her
self 10 be shot from cannon, he might
try his hand at hunting up a man IN
San Francisco who isn't a candidate ioI