Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-08-15
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A minister asked a new deacon if he
had family prayers. g Yes, sir night
and morning regular, if have to knock
every one of the young ones down on
his knees"
The New York Times says that as the
news of the Selover-Gould affray spread
through the city there was a general
feeling Of regret-that the walloping Of
Gould had been 80 private.
A boy was gnawing away at some
watermelon rinds, and a passer asked
why he was eating those rinds. The an
swer was conclusive "'Coz some other
fellow had eaten the core !"
A letter was lately received at the
Chicago postoffice, directed "To an
honest man." The Chief Clerk sent it
to the Dead Letter Department, with the
candid confession that the man did not
live in Chicago.
Postalcard proposals !" exclaimed
naughty young miss, reading over the
government advertisements "well, /
never If a fellow hasn't stamps enough
to send his proposals in letter, he hasn't
stamps enough to marry me-"
"Why did you name that old horse
Napoleon?" asked gentleman of ne
gro, whose horse was almost reduced to
a skeleton "Why, marse, you see, it's
Gaze the bony part is SO strong in him."
was the ready reply.
at begins to lock-" says the New
York World, as if we might get news
one of these mornings about the Rus
slams crossing the Danube again. If they
do, they will probably consume less time
in the operation"
Clergyman-(who has forgotten the
day Of the month. "Let me see, this
is the-ah-the thirteenth, l believer
Fond Motherhood catching the idea
exactly, but thinking of her family.)
"Why, bless me, no this is only the
eleventh"
A negro being asked what he was in
jail for, said it was for borrowing money.
But, said the questioner, " they don't
put people in jail for borrowing money"
" Yes" said the darky, "but had to
knock the man down free or TO times
before he would lend it to me-"
| talked with minion from Her Ma
jesty's dominions Says I, "Where are
you going" Says he, "To hide hoe"
Says L, "What are you going to hide
hoe for?" Says he, :" I didn't say hide a
hoe; I said hide hoe" Says /, "Spell
it, Says ne, "Id-a-ho." "Oh," says
I, Idaho" Eyes" says he, Hide
hoe"
A witness was under examination in
Toronto court, in the case of an unpaid
account, when the judge put the ques-
ton to him, "What is your occupa-
tion?" The witness did not seem to I'M
derstand the meaning Of the word "oc-
cupation," and answered with "Eh?"
Judge" What do you do for living?"
Witness. -"O my wifes a dress
maker"
The following correspondence, ex-
tracted from the Boston Transcript, ex-
plains itself: "She to him: Mt. Des-
ert, July, 1877,-Dear John: Lots of
pretty girls here: Do come down-Sal-
ly.' He to her Boston, July ,1877,-
Dear Sally: Lots of pretty girls here
too. Can't get away from business
john Sally went back to Boston the
next day.
eff you ever think of marrying a
widow" said an old anxious parent to
his heir, "select one whose first husband
was hung for that is the only way to
prevent her from throwing his memory
into your face, and making annoying
comparisons" Even that won't pre-
vent it," exclaimed a crusty old bache-
lor, "she'll praise him by saying that
hanging was too good for him."
One of the newspaper correspondents
writes from the White Mountains that
there is dearth of manageable young
men in that region this summer, and
the few who are there are entirely de-
voted to young lady from the west,
reputed neiress of several millions of
dollars The same writer ungallantly
asserts that most of the brides travelling
through the mountains this year are
remarkable for anything save their
beauty while the grooms who accom-
pany them have corrugated brows and
melancholy mien.