davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12
+" rhe sure witness. >,

The nineteeth century Is the age of
novels" remarks 4 literary historian,-he
might have added with equal truth, land novel
impositions." Studied politeness has been
passed Off on us for native refinement, the
forms of devotion for its essence, and specula-
ton for science, until we look askance at every
new person and thing, and to an assertion of
merit, invariably exclaim, "Prove itp In
brief, Satan has made himself so omnipresent
that we look for his cloven foot everywhere-
even in bottle of medicine. Imagine a lady,
having complexion so sallOw that you
would deny her claims to the Caucasian
type If her features did not conform TO il,
purchasing her first bottle Of the Golden
Medical Discovery. The one dollar is paid in
the very identical manner in which Mr. Taylor
might be expected to purchase lottery ticket
after his experience with No. 104, 163," with
this difference, his doubt would be the result
Of personal experience, while hers would be
founded on what a certain practitioner (whO
has been whole year trying to correct her re-
fractory liver) has said concerning it. At home,
she examines the bottle half suspiciously,
tastes OF its contents carefully, takes the pre-
scribed dose more carefully, and then proceeds
to watch the result with as much anxiety as a
practitioner would count the pulse beats of a
dying man. She takes another dose, and
another, and shows the bottle TO her friends,
telling them she "feels better" Her skin
loses ITS bilious tint, her eyes regain their
lustTe, her accustomed energy returns, and
the fact that she purchases another bottle is a
sure witness that she has found the Golden
Medical Discovery to be a reliable remedy for
abe disease indicated. The lady wisely re-
solves that in future her estimate Of any med
icine will be based upon a personal knOicledge of
its GfectS, and not upon what some practitioner
(who always makes long bills rhyme with
pills. may say of it. DR.. Pierce is in receipt
of letters from hundreds of the largest whole
sale and retail druggists in the United States
81 =
greater demand for the Golden Medical Dis
eovery and Purgative Pellets than ever before
In affections of the liver and blood they are
unsurpassed.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12
Amusing Scene in a Law Office.

Two elegantly dressed ladies entered
the office of a prominent lawyer on Fay
cite street, Baltimore, and looking round,
as if expecting other surroundings than
green baize covered desks and volumes
in law calf, inquired timidly: us this a
laundry Officer
The attorney, surprising she had said a
lawyers office, replied. Yes, madam,
and having asked the ladies to be seated,
drew his chair up beside them, expecting
to hear the points of first-class case.
The ladies were encouraged by his
courtesy, and one opened her satchel and
drew forth what the lawyer supposed to
be a bundle of valuable family docu-
ments; he put up his hand TO assist her
to extricate it from the bag. His face
fairly beamed with expectancy as he
drew forth one end of the treasure, the
lacy holding O to the other end, and he
ws about to PROFOUND leading question,
when the bundle unrolled, disclosing a
bifurcated garment, richly trimmed with
laces, pointing to which the lady eagerly
asked: twill this do up2' The lawyer
gazed with horror from his branch of the
garment to that held by the lady, and
stammered out confusedly: MADAM, you
have made mistake; this is a law office,
not laundry" Both started to their
feet, still grasping the contents of the
bag, the other lady looking on in dismay,
and the tableau was complete.
Mutual explanations followed. and the
ladies' Withdrew
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12
MacMahon and his Barber.

iii ny pas de grand homme pour
son valet de ehambre.n The charming
writer whose series of essays entitled
'Round About France has been appear
ing in the London Daily Meas. takes this
saying of Talleyrand's as motto for an
imaginary conversation between the
President of the French Republic and
his barber: $50 the people are or UNI
bling, Monsieur lie Marechal. Well, wei,
they are a discontinued lot, who never
know what's good for them, All the
same if had the honor of governing
them there a gentle dab in the mouth
in the mouth with the shaving-brush to
prevent the hero from answering), if /
governed them | should fling a Bonaparte
at their heads, and have done with it,
MY impression is that this would silence
dab, though nothing else will unless
you give 'em a Republic in earnest, which
is of course out of the question. tDab.)
Steady, please, Monsieur lie Marechal, or
we shall snick our chin. Going to the
perfumers Yesterday to buy this soap, /
told EN- the last eale didn't lather as il
ought, but they answered that politics
were the cause of it, for trade was going
10 TIC uogs. lHdls the Olu sloTys anu
there was barber in the shop who said
that if Monsieur lie Marechal would have
himself proclaimed Emperor we should
all dane in a ring, and be happy, but
laughed, -(dab, dab),-and replied that
Monsieur wasn't made of the wood out of
which they cut monarehs. (Dab) Lor'
bless you, said l, tie Marshal wants to
die comfortably in bed in his mansion of
Rue Bellechasse instead of perishing of
ennui is an exile among the fogs of the
Thames; and | flatter myself spoke
wisely, Ell, Monsieur
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12
A Gamin's Generosity.

There was Grape hanging to door on
Beaubien street and a boy six or seven
years old stood at the gate with pale face
and red eyes. A ragged, tobacco-chew-
ing imp, about twelve years old, came
slamming along, and he was making ready
to stick his finger into the small boys
eye, through the bars ofthe gate, when he
caught sight of the Grape.
"Somebody deadf' he asked.
"Yes, my par gaspcd the little one.
" Hockey but that's tuiI!s exclaimed
the imp, and he began searching his
pockets. After discovering that his per-
sonal property amounted to three nails,
an old cigar stub and clay pipe, he
said:
"See here, bub, I'd like to give yos
candy or knife, or sumthin' TO kinder
make you feel good but | can't do 1T.
I'm dead-broke and feelin' half sick, but
I'll tell you what I'll do. / could chaw
You up in one minute, but you can come
out here and I'll let you take me down
and maui me, and I'll holler like loon,
and all the boys around here viii think
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12
Fight With a Heron.

A heron is a dangerous bird, even for
a man to attack, as will be seen from
this story of an encounler between man,
dog, and heron, published in the Lon
don Field. The heron had been woun-
ded, its left wing being broken by
shot.
l spied him in 4 large pool, some yards
f,om the river banh, seemingly, rs he
rested on the water, he was unhurt. As
| shouted out, There he is, Sam,p the
retriever plunged into the eddying poo
and swan to seize his prey. Now the
fight began.
Without swerving an inch, the heron
with his crest erect and with a
scream, darted his formidable beak
straight at the dogs eyes. Sam was puz-
zled In moment, however, he was at
him again, but the terrible beak of the
heron, as the attack was again renewed,
held him fairly ri bay.
Sam now changed his plan; he tried to
circumvent his formidable enemy by
swimming round to its back, but the
heron presented a bold front at all points
and once more Sam rushed in. The fight
was getting fast and furious, but Sam,
though considerably punished, stuck to
his post, and, though repeatedly recalled,
would not return without his bird.
There was nothing left to do but to
kill the heron, to prevent his binding the
dog, if he had not already done so. Ac-
cordingly, raised my gun, when my
companion shouted out; Don't shoot
Don't spoil the bird I'll save the dog"
In an instant he leaped from the bank
into the pool, and, swimming, made for
the heron. The bird now left the dog
and turned on his new assailant, rushing
at him with a scream; IL an instant the
heron darted his formidable beak at Mr..
Gwynne Vaughan's eyes; but, as be swan
he managed TO cover his face. and his
hand only was wounded.
Again and again the heron attacked
him, but never succeeded in wounding
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12
PATIENCE.
Beside the toilsome way,

Reside the toilsome way,
Lonely ard dark, by fruits and flowers up.
blest,
Which my worn feet tread sadly, day by day.
Longing in vain fer rest,
An angel slowly walks.
With pale, sweet face, and eyes cast meekIv
down,
The while. from withered IeaTes and iowerless
stalks,
She weaves my fitting crown.
A ST set and patient grace,
\ look Of firm nduranee true and tried,
OF suffering ekly borne, rests on her face
So ire, 50 glOriied.
Ana when my fainting heart
Desp)nds and murmurs al It's adverse fate,
Then quietly the angels bright lips part,
Whispering softly, " Waltz
Patiencer che sweetly saith
. The Fathers mercies never come too late;
Grid thee with patient strength and trusting
faith.
And FIRM enduranee-wait,r
Angel, LehOld, wait,
Wearing the thorny crown through all life's
hours
Wait till thy hand shall Ope the eternal gate,
And change thOrns to flowers
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12
SANDAL-WOOD

Possesses much greater power In restoring to 8
either Cubebs or Copaiba 1t never produces ekness
certain and speedy In its action. is fasts persed
ing very other remedy. Sixty capsules cure IN or
eight days No other medicine do this.
Owing to it's great msnv Fubstitu ave
been advertised, such Postes. Mixts res ri Bal
sans, etc. all of which hare been sbaEconed.
Dundas Dick & Co.'S Sofs Capsules tain
ing oil Of Sandal-tcood, sold at az dr'th ;'ores.
ASK for circsllar, or send for one 10 80 aid 81
Wooster street Neto York.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12

his face. AT last, he grabbed the heron
by the legs, drew it under the water, and
struck out for the shore. Grasping the
bird by the beak, he was soon on land,
none the worse for his courageous explicit
than wounded hand and wet skin.
Sam, tie retriever. was bleeding from
at least 1--WE honorable wounds, all within
a quarter of an inch of either eye. 1t was
courageous fight oil around.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12
VaIuabIe Lesai Adviser

Judge Oscar Stephenson has resumed the
practice Of law, at st. Paul. He viii attend to
cases in the L. S. and State courts, and devote
especial attention TO probate cases, in which
he has had large experience, and is considered
the best authority in the State. He is cordial
ly recommended to all persons having legal
business to he Transacted in Minnesota and
Wisconsin, and particularly in all contested
cases Of wills and other matters in the Probate
Cnurfs
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12

1t will be found upon inquiry of represent
alive storekeepers that ladies no longer de-
pend on foreign makers for their Perfumery
and Toilet Articles. To Messrs Colgate &
Co the credit is largely due for this new de
parture. Their Cashmere Bouquet Soap and
Violet Toilet Water are universally esteemed
by the tasteful and refined as the most dell
cate and recherche of perfumes.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12

Thirty years experience proves the Graefen-
berg Vegetable Pills to be the mildest and most
effective medicine ever known for the complete
cure OF Headache, BiliOusness, Liver Com
plants, Nervousness, Fevers and diseases of
Digestion. Sold everywhere; price % cents
perbox. Senp for alTnanacs. Noyes Bros. IL
Cutler, st. Paul, Agents for Minnesota.
GRAEYENBERG Co, New York.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12
THE SUN.
NEW YORK.

TEE SuN continues to be the strenuous advocate Of re-
fo and rrenchment and Of the substitution OF states
manship wisdom and integrity for hollow pretense inn
beciy and fraud in the administration Of public a.
fairs Ii contends for the government OF the people Dy
the people and sor the people as opposed % govern
nent frauds the baliobox aad IN the counting o.
votes enforced By military violence IL e1deayors g
supply its readers body not Tar from million OF
the most careful complete, and Trustworthy
accounts of current events, and employs Tor TINS par
nose numerous and carefully selected stan OF report
rs and correspondents Its reports from HashingQn
eeueciall are full accurate and fearless; and Il DOUBT
less continues 20 deserve and enjoy the hatred o. s
who thrive b. plundering the ireas9y OF ~ =
what the Law does give them while i endeavOzs 70
merit the conhdsace Of the public. b. defending tns
tights OF the people against the eacroachrents Of ~
justified power. -
Sc so year. postpaid, or with the Sunday sall4en
me sunday edition alone. eight pages - 40 year
postpaid - .,.--
Is furnished At II year, post paid
SPECIAL NOrIoE.-In order TO INTRODUCES The sSS
more widely 70 the public viii send THE " EEhLa
edition for the remainder Of the year. 70 Jan lss
postpaid, for Half : Dollar. Try il.
address THE Sun. -. y City.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12

The citizens of Wayne, Mich, tarred and
feathered the only bad woman in their
city the other day. They would have
tarred and feathered all the bad men
probably; only there wasn't enough tar
in the United States to go half way
round
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12

you are the wiekedest fighter east of the
avenue"
The small boy might have appreciated
the motive, but he didn't accept the Of
fer.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12
FOR a GOOD Rreakfast or Tea,

you often have TO make rolls, biscuit, and such
delicacies in about ten minutes. It's easy and
certain with DooLEY's YEAST POWDER, the best
of them all. Troubled housewife, here is one
cause of your annoyances swept away. Full
weight and the best material are the watehword
of the manufacturers.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12
why WIN We Dyer

Because it is no trouble to TUrrs Hair Dye Be
sides it prompt and natural in its effect, and i'm
parts such beautiful color that detect it,
and it costs only One Dollar.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12

INFORMATION worth thousands to those out
of health. self-help for weak and nervous sui
ferers. Facts fer those who have been dosed
drugged and quacked. The new Health Jour
nal teaches all. Copies free. Address, Electric
quarterly. Cincinnati o.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12

Ponds Extract Large sums of money are
spent by the afflicted TO find relief from Piles.
The Extract is a certain cure of Blind and
Bleeding Piles.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12
HEADACHE.

DIR e. w BENS0S-S CELERY AND
CIIANEOMEEE PILLS prepared eN-
preSsIy 20 cure SICK IiEADACH NERk-
0ITsS HEA DACFEE, DXSPEPrIG HEAD
ACHE. NEURALGIA, NERVOUSNESS,
- LEEE LE:,<SN EsssS- and viii cure any case.
Onice. I0C y. EufaW ST. Baltimore. M.
Price soc. postage free sold by all drug
giSts and country stores. EEEsENNE. =
Howard Rank. baltimore 3st.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12
st. Paul Business Directory
international Hotel.

Cor. seventh a Jackson SIS.
SAINT PAUL, MINNESOTA
Having leased for term Of years. reftted and
refurnished this very fine Hotel would announces TO
the public and old time friends and patrons.
prepared 20 accommodate them 70 rstclsss fare at
the very low of ~ 50 and - per day according
TO 1Om. VI. TIC. EH.DN ER. Prom
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12

<NRA9AasERs is not easily earned in these times
ASFZEZEX bat Il can be made In three months
- n by any of either sex, in any
Sk 81 81 part Of the country who is willing
10 work steadily at the employment
that We furnish. sec per week in your town.
You need not be away from home over night You can
give whole time the work, only your spare
moments. We have agents who are making over $40
per day at the business All who engage at once can
make money fast. At the present time money cannot
be made easily and rapidly at any other business
IL costs nothing 70 try the business Terms and -
Outfit free. Address at once II. HALLETT Co.
Portland Maine.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12
The Genuine Vibrator Threshers
ARE MADE ONLY BY
NICHOLS, SHEPARD & CO,
BATTLE CREEK, MICH.

They any OF their regular authorized dealers fur
nish Illustrated Pamphlets PTiceLists and full
ticulars free, application.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12

'I.Ath hUUsE-AiOst popular hOars- Ia AdIulisa %
~ lis; and newly furnished. first-class In all re
spects. Terms p per day. " q. BRACKET, Prop.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12
Pr. HARDENBURGH,
Leather & Findings
Is FastlThird ST., ST. Paul MINI
MinneapoIis Rusiness irectory.

CBIITH sCRIBSER. 52S Washington Ave. s. Job
- beers and Retailers in Hardware Cutlery, lin and
Pressed Ware pminfs OILS cnnnere tnos sreefalty
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12

u
nation. They too sought partners. The
women were all eager TO dance on the
same floor with Baudelot, so that soon
thanks to the victim of their politics)the
ball began to grow extremely lively.
Both men and women were nervOusly
wound up. Baudelot was not behind the
rest in careless gayety. He was the only
guest among them all enjoying himself
naturally. His was the only smile that
was not forced; his the one step that was
not constrained. The others danced I'M
der the influence of terrible excitement.
They were all greatly moved at the sight
of their young victim.
Baudelot was king of the feast-far
more so than the bridegroom. He was
more in everybody's thoughts than even
the fair bride. His bride the next morn
ng was to be the scaffold.
The ball went on. The mirth and fun
grew fast and furious Baudelot was the
life of it all. He even charmed the men
who played the music by teaching them
new airs. He took an instrument and
played himself the last new saraband
composed 10y Lully.
As the gay dance went on Baudelot for
got how fast the night was passing, but
the women knew it well. They could
not forget, too. They shuddered as they
looked at him. They began to imagine
how he would soon look as he lay dead
For ancient honor was so strong in France
that the very appearance of Baudelot at
this ball was guarantee that he would
take advantage of no opportunity to es-
cape that might be offered him. His
word was stronger than an iron chain.
Both Baudelot and Hamelin appreciated
each other. Hamelin knew that he could
give Baudelot this indulgence without
prejudice TO the duty that he owed TO the
committee on public safety. Baudelot
knew that Hamelin was pledged to keep
his word.
So, reader, imagine, if you will, how
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-12
PLAIN DEALER,

you want to subscribe for the snappiest and hve
est Democratic paper in the West take the Cleveland
Plain Dealer, only n . per year Address
PLAIN DEALER COMPANY, Cleveland q.
The daily intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Territory [i.e. Wash.]) 1876-1881, 1877-09-22
A Drummer's Adventure IN
Georgia.

II is said that Mordon, the Ncw York
drummer, recently met with the follow
ing rather amusing experience in MS
extensive travels: On SONG 10 a hote!
in one Of our large cities b. was assign
ed room previously partly occupied.
After being shown the way by The pO-
lite and accommodating clerk. he went
to Lis apartment. found the door open,
n candle '!imly burning on the center
table. ard the only bed in the room &C
cupied bv the stranger, who was his
roommate for the night. The unknown
man seemed TO be ticking his Test. and
not wishing to disturb him, Mordon
quietly di-rob-d himself. said his
prayers blew out the candle, and went
to bed H. fore he hsd quite fallen 10
sleep DC was somewhat startled by the
entrance Of yourg gentleman aud
lady. who relighfed the caHdle ana
of the room in fnll view of the hero
Of this accident The intruders chatted,
away in suggestive and aHections,e
manner, just ~ lovers alwa "a do Th'
novelty of the situation SEEMED To lave
its etf:ct- ui,pn them, ard, as.er .undry
comments on the weather., the lat, Il
gossip. and small society talk. they set
tied down 10 business" All this tim.
Mordnn was an interested listener, aud
he was prepared for III. kisses which
fell upon the willing lips ot the fair
inamora,a. He punched his be.l-ieIlow
with his elbow, but the stranger slept
on Then followed scene o. affection
ate demonstrations between the couple
in the corner Mordon determined TO
awake his unknown friend So that he
might see the fun. Raising his hand.
be laid it on the face of the uncopocions
sleeper. aud then his hair. in holy hor-
ror, stood on end The face was cold
and clammy- he vas sleeiing rdh a
corpse shooting mp straight through
bis canopicd couch. Mordon appeared
before the startled pair q veritablc
ghost The young man and lady dis
appeared down the stairway in wild at
fright, closely followed bv the unwit
ting author Of this startling escapade.
The clerk Of the hotel had perpetra,ed
practical Joke on the commercial
traveller" The scene in the office is
said To have been very iudicrous when
the three parties appeared before the
bar. Mordon ea deshabitlei Can you
imagine any thing more spiritueile ?
Two hundred and fifty avairdupois
make up a tolerably vigorous ghost.
The daily intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Territory [i.e. Wash.]) 1876-1881, 1877-09-22
MISCELLANEOUS.

The Improved Patent is dated
s. Patent oface. Dec. 70, I.7e Ne. Is .5s4.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-04-19
A Wonderful Dog.

Lately, traveller passed in car
riage along the Avenue dc Neuily.
The night was dark. All at once the
horse stopped, and the traveller saw
that the animal had met an obstacle.
At the same moment man raised
himself from before the horse and
uttered cry.
"Why don't you take care?" said
the traveller.
"Ah," cried the man, "you would
do better, instead of halooing, to lend
me your lantern"
"What for?"
Il had 800 francs in gold on my
person; my pocket has broken, and
all is fallen to the street. 1t is COM
mission with which my master has
intrusted me. If / do not find the
money / am a ruined man."
at is not easy to find the pieces on
such night. Have you none leftf"
eyes, / have one"
"Giye 1t to me-"
The man hestated.
1iFe IL W me. IL VIII NC tut
means Of recovering the Others"
The poor fellow gave him his last
coin. The traveller whistled. A mag
nifcent Danish dog began to leap
aroqqq9a. / bin.
the coin to the dogs nose. "E6oR?
The intelligent creature shifted mo-
ment at the money, and then began
to run about the road. Every minute
he returned, leaping, and deposited
in the hand Of mis- master Napoleon.
In about twenty minutes the whole
sum was recovered. The poor fellow,
who had got his money back, turned,
full of thanks, toward the traveller.
who had now got into his carriage.
"Ah. you are my preserver!' said
he. "Tell me at least your name"
81 have done nothing" said the
traveller. Your preserver IS my
dog. His name is aabut-Joie;" and
then, whipping up his horse, he dis
appeared IN the darkness. - Religious
| Herald,