Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-08-17
A PRACTICAL JOKER.


There lived in a village not far
from New York city a gentleman,
by name Benjamin Top, who thought
there was nothing in life equal to a
good joke. He owned a small store,
and kept almost every article of do
meStic and agricultural use, and was
thereby pretty well acquainted with
all the townspeOple, as they were
likewise well acquainted with him.
Mr.. Top-had played so many pranks
on the people around him that he
would have made enemies but for
his constant good humor, and his
ability to soothe the parties he had
irritated almost beyond the power
of endurance.
The lst of April was Mr.. Tops es-
pecial delight, and that was a smart
child who could enter his store on
that day without being made the
victim of some trick; so that from
morn till night of the lst day of
April his face was on broad grin,
and it happened that all those who
sought to catch him had the joke
turned on themselves.
A few years ago, as the first of
April approached, our merry friend
looked around to see who would be
a fitting subject for joke.
81 must have a irst-rate one this
time," said he to himself. 'Who
shall it be? Let me think; ah!I have
it-Dr. Seroggins; yes, it shall be
he. What shall / send-a love let
ter? No he looks too woe-begone
for that"
After considering while, Top
drew the pen and ink near him and
wrote as follows;
DR.. SCRoGGNs: Dear Sir-Please call
as early as possible at Messrs. S. & B.,
No. -, Wall street, New York, where
you will hear something to your advantage.
Then folding and directing the
letter, he snapped his fingers with
childish delight.
"I'll send him to New York on a
FOOLS errand," said he, "and have a
good laugh at his expense"
DIR. Scroggins, the subject of this
heartless joke, was bachelor about
forty years of age. He had been
living in the village only-six months,
and had thus far gotten only very
small practice; not that he lacked
ability, but he was awkward in his
person, and in his manners not very
prepossessing; and. being shy and
reserved in his disposition, was but
little fitted to push his way into So
ciety. He seemed to be very poor,
for he rented a small office, supplied
himself with the simplest fare, and
his lounge at night acted as his bed.
The first day of April arose bright
and clear. DR.. Scroggins, who was
an early riser, prepared his simple
breakfast and after partaking of it,
and arranging his office, took his
seat TO await expected calls for con-
sultation, or to request his attention
on some suffering invalid. But no
such calls were made, and the doc
tor sighed heavily under the press
ure of disappointment.
"What can hinder my progress?
understand my profession" he said
Gin not a single instance have fail
ed tC give relief when called to the
bed of suffering. All, me! If l only
had myself to care for, would be
content to live on bread and water
till L could gain the confidence OF
the people, But YOU, my poor sis.
ter, who have already drunk deep OF
the cup of sorrow, must have more
added to it. And what can l do!
Nothing!"
The doctor pulled letter out ol
his pocket and read:
81 would not trouble you, my dear
kind brother" wrote his sister
knowing, as / do, how poor your
prospects are, and how patiently
you are trying to wait for practice
did not want press me and my child
If you can spare me little-ever sc
little-it will come as blessing, fol
my extremity is very great"
Just at this time the letter carrier
stopped and handed the doctor {
letter; he opened it and looked at i
in perfect amazement, then read i
over the second time.
Something to my advantage!-
what can it be?" said he. ''Dear sis
ter, should there be anything gooc
in store for me how freely will
share it with you and your darling
Emma! Surely the good God ha
heard and answered my prayer"
The doctor, who had little prepar
: alton to make, started for the city
and Top, who was on the looLou
: for him, could scarcely hide hrs ex
0 ultation at sending off an inoffensiv,
man, who could barely support him
d self, on needless errand of expens,
and trouble.
The doctor, as he wended his wa,
to the city, was so fully possessed
; with the idea that some old relativ
for he had several-had died an,
left him a fortune, that he had i
, imagination made various disposi
! tlons of it before he had arrived a
the end of his journey.
"Can | see one of the gentleme
belonging to the firm?" asked tn
doctor, entering the store of S. e. I
"There is Mr.. s., said the indivic
ual addressed, referring him to
middle-aged but benevolent lookin
man.
The doctor bowed to S. and said
"My name is DR.. Scroggins."
Mr.. 5. bowed in return, remark