Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1877-01-19
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S1fAJ
his experience trying to raise a dog. The
following is his story:
We had never been as proud of anything
in the dog1ine as we were of that Peru
retriever pup. Time passed on and
the pup began to grow. He did not grow
tall, but spread out lengthwise and side
wise, and his feet got big. There never was
SO long a dog of his age as that one was.
And talk about tail; a kapgaroo's tail
would be nowhere. One wiggle of his tail
would sweep eleven old -fashioned flower
pots off the verandah, and you might kick
him as much as you pleased, and he was
still the same long dog. You couldn't
telescope him together an inch. He was
the most cowardly dog that ever was. If
a COW came along and scratched against a
tree, he would crawl under the house and
howl all afternoon. Once a little girl came
in the gate after swill, and when he looked
at her she dropped her swill-pail and ran.
He heard her and ran the other way, and
it was two days before we got him home,
and then we had to carry him in a basket.
He was a retriever. His best ''holt'' was
hens. He got acquainted with Mr.. Man
chester's chickens early in the season, and
he retrieved them regardless of expense.
He would occasionally come back from
Manchester's without a hen, but it was
not the dogs fault. If Manchester had
not thrown wood at him he never would
have come back that way. That is where
we have always blamed Manchester. But
when Manchester went to the Centennial
the cog got even. The dog and a skunk
that lived under the barn broke up the hen
business there. We might meet him on
the sidewalk, and he never seemed to
know us. If we spoke to him he would
wag a foot or eighteen inches of the lower
end Of his tail, look away beyond, and
seemed to be trying to think if he hadn't
met us in another world ages ago. The
other dav he came home bowling, walking
on two legs. Some one had put a charge
of shot in him, and we knew Manchester
had got back, though there was nothing
about it in the papers. He seemed to be
as full Of shot as-well he was reasonably
full, and every time he went to sit down
he howIed woefully. He was a dog Of Sc
dentary habits, and when his utensil for
sitting down was not as well as could be
expected. his capacity for enjoyment was
limited, and he would stand and lean
against a barrel and discourse in a foreign
tongue until nobody could sleep in the
entire neighborhood. In his helpless con-
dition the hens used to show fight, and we
saw it was humiliating to him, so we pre-
pared to lead him like a lamb to the
slaughter. We took him to the police Of
flee to get the dollar we paid for his Ii
cense and to have him shot.
A Texans WONDERFUL TRACEs.-A
Texan, visiting this point, gathered around
him some of our citizens Monday, and en-
tertained them with some of bis expert,
ences in the Lone Star state. One Incl,
dent told by him Is as follows:
YOU'D hardly believe, now. what I am
going to tell. In Texas we use raw>hide
straps, or thongs, for traces, and in wet
weather they do stretch amazingly. Why,
often in damp weather I've h1tched up to
horses and drove down the hill from my
house into the creek bottom for a sled load
of wood I have loaded the wood and many
times driven back home and unhitched tlis
horses and the sled would not be in sight,
Chow did you get the wood home then?'
asked an inquisitive bystander.
sOh, [ just tied the ends of the traces
together and threw them over a post, went
knocking about my work and waited till
the sun shone out. Sometimes it would be
more than two hours before that sled load
of wood would get home, but you'd see her
crawling up the hill at last, gradually ap-
preaching as the raw hide traces shrunk
up into their proper lengths. Yes, Texas
is d great country, you bet!"
Some rhymer has scratched down the
following:
"Red ribbons round their waists.
Red ribbons in their hair,
Red ribbons to their tastes.
Pinned to them everywhere"
A Madison girl replies
eyes, we wear that color attached to our
clothes,
While men often wear ii attached to their
nose.7
A gentleman said to his gardner. George
the time will com when a man will be
able to carry the manure of an acre Of land
in one of his waistcoat pockets To which
the gardner replied, L believe it, sir, but
he will-be able to carry all the crop in the
other pocket
A Wisconsin editor having written of a
deceased gentleman that sickness had
impaired his health,' a rival rejoined:
eyes it often has that effect"
swell, I s'pose the burned stuff got mix
ed" was the sad reply of a Missousi drug
gist when he killed a woman by giving ar
senic for salts.
Better to meet you business acquaint~
ances with a free s'don't-owe-you-a-cent"
smile than to dodge around the corner
from q dun.
The most popular judge in Missouri just
now is the one, who has decided that a wo-
man IS not an old maid until she is thirty
FIVE.
4 Brooklyn Dorcas Society fine gossips
one dollar for each offence The proceeds
will be used to pay the national debt.
A man who advertises for an agent to
sell q new medicine, says that it will prove
very lucrative to the under taker.
A Maine woman has hair seven feet and
five inches Iong-too long to be available
use liz butter.