, 1877-12-20


.stlr l1rk Timer.
Man Is the ouly animal That wears eliost socks
This Is nut Dn1y more accurate definition lhnn
my h,tharto dcviscd by scientific persona, hut II
ahuws tue infcrosity Of man to oil other ani.
tna1s, nnd ought to lnyc even more effect tn
lumlJlng our wicked pride than has the famous
ttory Of the little girl WHO WIS excessively
proud OF her ELK s1rcss until she was tu.d that
1t was spun, woven. cut out, made UP, md
trimmed bv 1oatlsomc worm.
The great trouble with tho short sock IL that
Il will not keep its placc. There being nothing
whatever to hold Il, tho force Of gravitation
necessarily 1rags It down about the ankle. This
causes nu amount Of misery which Is
appalling, Thcso Is no man VINO cat,
feel any confidence tu lbs socks. Whether
10 is Walking Or sitting he knows
that ILLS socks nrc slowly tut surely slipping
down. Gartrrs being out Of the aueAttan, sinve
the sllortncss VI Tho aock does not permit 4
garter ~ be placeI tu u position wllcto II will
not slip, there Is absolutely Ut remedy for what
We may fairly call tllc Eiant evil VI the aye.
1,erate u,cn, but they hnyo both proved useless,
md have merely ud,lcl to the misery III tlls
user. III these circumstances there II isothing
left for taan to Dr. except to lsear tho sock Ii,
ssnre, or 70 boldly cast It aside aud ntlopt the
The latter n!teruAtire was rcccntly chosen BY
that tlMuunt but unfortunate clergyman, tho
key. Charles smpkns, - Wcstbsdge, Pa.
Until tho cn.aatroDhu which bus lately oyertuIi-
Gu hin, tho Church did not possass more pu,,.
ular aud promising Youug clergyman. le could
repeat the opcutng .exhortatian a1i the way from
'DcariY beiuycd" to "forctyeucss for the
las been aAsertcl tl!athu couhl monotone tho
eMtrc Apostles Greed while breathing only
three times AZ ho was unmarried, and not yet
n years OLD, hc WAS rcgarde! with peculiar rev
other clergyman In tho Unitr,! States.
Ncatness WIS ouu Of tho distinguishing char.
aetcrstics Of Mr. sinpkins, and therc arc prob
iron, short .ocka. When walking through the
yfaUe hu WIS in continual tireuI lest Ifs socks
should descend into public ylcw, aud
oysn while preaching Ills lnost eloquent
On ills brow - b. iii one ii
his socks was gradually slipping down, This
wore uikn hl'n to that extent that ILLS inassivs
Intellect threatened to t0ttet. and on the oEn-
deliberately paused. after feularktng 'hcre
eplrth n-ADd st0opcl dawn to sepatr IamHgts.
That night hu resolved that vfgoTous measures
must bc taken, and he aceoT,!incly wtain y con-
sided lu tia rty, ami lnclosc.l all tic necessary
measurement, Shortly utter he received, ostcn,
sthlv from tic husband. but really from tho
aifoctianate sistrr, two dozcn pair Of Dalbrts-
W. noss, !" sii. ia ~ pa.s u. H. s!S ss
t!cs MI 'nc" AZ "'a'u' *ao VI p'es'se'S 'nc Fl'a*
sAe. st,u,,,,. =, ,...,., H.,
~ apon a. ne. 11hpxls nam ,Saa"eu ~. re-
IMaaoa sApst IsIa ~" W mcaI NV eSas.e. na W.
Pttanscs, hs spss!ts .. Gegan 20 I,se' Ae wa 20
ionsSt p!ey ~ uo4ot ~! uesPatt' ta stoSk. ~,
g1 nrY cun s,; nIpt 1s r' , aa ~ ", III w.
eoHun estn A.e'a . sa1'su l1t.'s aisu
isne1 Nthaa5 1saf o! consequences. Aesoti
ingly, .oI tng atst umo uattl'g tas 1csnsneo
Ness9'Mee' nu euhsenu MY ~ atsonu wy ou"esJ
sslo1t !Ivnss VI ~ .ist " VSto!Er !4st, aiu
t.etspg nas! Mnh !..aste.anso "eheat TX .nc soats
r.! H. ,s,.. ,et, wy 49, y. 'no su.S.
~. sllhpKins. eeinR nea lluM .t SN.e, en1esc1
tnto r. spotts o. the picnic WITH eroat xsst: and
ING sn.aalan iiststG tnat ~ toee.nst WIN tMe.s
teaesets, aaou'1 49, saAe pats " EA3ne VI 1'',ao
lnan's ouu. ms REQUEST W. aseeueu "
aina ne aaMat FaaAine' iaashinE, an'
| salieK1aR 'oau~ea. ~ WAS "nilo s!f.
onnpkihs W. neo'ng, ~ companY
win ~ excited teache1s, rom tae pursuit ut
| uIlnalolaea smal! Ply! that ~ sunaeh!J hot.eel
that Que q nle elaatses haa :beeona naelaspeu
stu hAu ta!!en 10 ne srSonu. ~ tne st!ne
moment u Ha4 InEceasca ~ lne ptetIIcst ~ TIC