The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-11-10
VARIETIES.

All opinions should be respected,
even when they are sincere.
"A little girls idea of a plane-A
thing that scrubs snakes out of boards.
"A sentimentalist says Autumn is
powdering the naples with her rouge"
"A new style of snobbery is to have
the wearer's monogram Oh the back of
kid gloves.
The young women of Washington
have dropped their German dancing
club. Too expensive.
Mrs. Shoddy puckered up her mouth
genteely and told a gentleman friend that
one of her lovely daughters was a blu
net" and the other bronze"
"A woman may not be able to sharpen
a pencil or hold an umbrella, but she can
pack more articles into trunk than
man can in one-horse wagon.
We have justreceived 1.-TWO Kisses"
from the publisher, per mail. We hope
sthey will send the next 1.-TWO Kisses"
per female. Turner'S Falls Reporter.
New York's water famine brought
heroines to the surface A lady per-
mitted her canary bird to perish from
thirst that more water might be left for
street-car horses.
The problem of buying ten-dollar
Christmas present with seventy-tive cents
available cash will presently present it.
self for the calculation of the brave
Young-man-who-go es-to-see his girl.
"A man who came home to his family
wearing coat of tar and feathers, with
which his appreciative neighbors had
decorated him, explained to his wife that
he had been INDUCING in a little target
exercise.
There is a literary society up town.
one of the members of which is hotel
waiter, and he's the most troublesome
man in the concern. He is continually
moving to lay things on the table.-N.
Y. Commercial.
-Gentlemen's hats that last year
brought three dollars apiece can now be
purchased for one dollar and fifty cents;
whereas it still costs a woman from fiji
teen dollars to fifty dollars to go com
paratively bareheaded. -Andreoos' Bdzar.
"A Canadian priest lately sued a
young man whom he had married, for his
wedding fee, which he stated at fifteen
dollars. The jury found for the defend
ant, on the ground that the youth had re-
ceived no appreciable value.
A fellow in Elmira, N. Y, got jeal-
Gus Of another man who was paying at
tention to a woman that number one ad-
mired Out of revenge he 'peached" on
number two, and the result is the break
ing up of gang of car thieves and the
arrest of one of the principal operators.
If the officials of savings bank
should pack up the cash and go away,
and if they should be followed and
caught, and if they should be choked to
Of he ank he'd nazf o dd56r 9a Re Rs s5
That we continue to be honest men?
That distinguished exile, Oakley
Hall, is still residing in London, accord
ing to George H. Butler, and has regained
his old flow of spirits. He says the rea-
son of his fiightwas not his official record
but concerned only himself and one or
two others, and will be disclosed in good
time.
VISITOR" Isn't it terrible to think
that the vessel yonder may dash on the
rocks and every soul on board perish?"
Old Salt" Yes; but isn't it more terri
BILE to think that maybe the crews a
working themselves to death and perhaps
there's not bit O hacker aboard the en-
tire craft"
There is sense in the following from
the New York Eoening Mail: "The
average city school girl is studying more
than she will have any use for in the
years to come. Between examining the
mind with book-lore and rubbish and the
stomach with pickles and pie, she bids
fair to give the doctor lift"
THERE'S aworld for contemplation in
observing young girl gazing upon the
tender petals of the rose her lover has
just given her, and then looking at the
same woman five years after, as she
stands behind huckster cart and tells
the owner she wouldn't give five cents
for such head of cabbage if she had to
do without it all her life.
What this country needs is a safe
depository to lock our savings banks in;
and extra solid stone walls around our
prisons that Governors cannot scale; in
surance companies to insure insurance;
directors to run our railroad directors;
officers with telescopes to watch our
officials; judiciary to try some of our
Judges and juries to indict some of our
Jurors. Chicago Journal.
The postal statistics for the last two
years show that New Haven proportion
ally mails more letters than any other
city in the country. The population is
SO, $40, and 416,654 letters are mailed
there every four weeks, so that while it
is the twenty fifth city in population it
ranks eleventh in the number of letters
sent.
Youth with sad, love-struck air):
go wilt thou be mine, my own dear
birdie? l love you deeply, fondly, pas
sionately, wildly! cannot live without
you! Say, o say, thou wilt be minel"
Maiden with downcasteyes): Adolphus,
is there anything the matter with my
dress? l saw the Smith girls look at me
curiously Does my hair set all right?"
Adolphus discontinued his love making.
"A woman in male attire was ad-
mitted to the male ward in San Fran
cisco hospital to be treated for injuries
caused by fall, but on the discovery of
her sex the assistants hurried her into
the prOper department She registered