The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1877-12-13
EVERYDAY sPICERIEs.

WORCESTER Press: The only notice
able fall in clothing is a reduction in
the price of things charged for bathing
suits.
LOWELL Courier: In Switzerland dom
keys have bells on their necks. In this
country it is not unusual to see them
with bellies on their arms. gl
NEW YORK Express: We have heard
of the torn handkerchief that was holy,
but now Sunday connecting cloak Is
called sack-religious garment.
ROME Sentinel: The tronble with some
people is that they get their convictions
SO mixed up with their dyspepsia that no
one can separate them in this world.
NEW YORK Weekly: Sleepingcar con-
ductors are generally pleasant, gentle
manly fellows. And yet, strange to say,
one always likes them to give him awide
berth.
WORCESTER Press: A man in Louisi-
ana has had four wives go off and leave
him. The fifth he swapped for an old
shotgun, and now he has got something
that won't go off. -
SPRINGFIELD Republican: A local
Mrs. Partington says: / don't believe
these reform clubs will help the civil
service. never seen hired girl yet
that was any way civil"
BosToN Advertiser: Young jenkins
was bound to be accurate, and he thus
described the woman's costume: "She
wore suit of something or other, cut
bias and trimmed endwise."
on Cry Derrick. When Cleopatra's
hair began to turn gray she used to stand
before the looking glass with bottle IN
one hand and hair-brush in the other
and sing, 81 am dyeing, Egypt, dyeing,
HERE AND THERE
| Full MANY gem Of purest ray serene
The dark, unfathomed caves Of ocean bear;
Full many maid who toyed with kerosene
Has gently clambered up the golden stair.
- Unknorn Chicago Pocf.
EAsToN Free Press: A Lancaster
county man saved the life of a mule that
was dying from collie, and the mule re-
turned the compliment by enabling the
mans wife to realize on his insurance
policy. s-s.
THE Rev. Thomas Cook, Of Long
Island, recently lost ffty-seyen laying
hens, which is serious blow to the
laity.-Boston Post Is he a regular
clergyman or onlya an Egg g-sorter.-Phitd.
Bulletin.
NEW YORK Graphic: In recent ser
mon Mr.. Talmage likened the devil to a
collapsed balloon. He desires us to ex-
plain that the figure of speech occurred
to him because collapsed balloon is
ga Sin King"
/ A GOOD sized pedestal is waiting for
the genius who will devise business
coat with pigeon holes Cincinnati
| Breakfast Table. A sort of patent
dove-cote is what you want.-Phitddet-
phia Bulletin.
WORCESTER Press: It is pleasant to
see ones paragraphs quoted in the news
papers along with bits of wisdom from
such old sages as Socrates and Euripides-
1t indicates that the old sages are begin
ming to be appreciated.
BURLINGTON Hdaok-Eye: 1t is said
there is something noble in honorable
poverty, and there is hardly an editor in
the country who does not feel himself
loaded to the muzzle with laurels OF this
glorious but inconvenient character.
:, 1dE pdIdSi aehOio oiO g
around for patron saint. Find the last
resting place of the man who discovered
that -four and water formed compound
of excellent adhesive quality. The
name on that tombstone is the one you
want.-C Cincinnati Breakfast Table. The
R. /. P" on the stone means Req,aes'
cat in paste. e."-P Philadelphia Bulletin.
ONE day, husband and wife
Were walking down the street,
He measured only four feet, nine,
And she stood Just six feet
She held him tightly by the arm,
And looked him in the face,
And dragged that little man along
At, OIL q fearful pace.
The people stopped and looked. "Where wa
She taking himf' you ask,
I'll tell you where. 'Sh-hi hsten-she
Was taking him-to task.
IN z Commercial.
A CORRESPONDENT wishes to know
at what age girl should no longer bt
kissed by her male friends. A lady sug
gests the age when she puts on long
; dresses.-P. L-man "a lady +" is eyi
IDENTIFY some sour-visaged spinster who il
, wholly out of the running. Goot
graciousl What girl would ever pu
, on long dresses at that price? ?-Phitd
| D,,TJot..,