Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1877-02-28
VARIETY AND HUMOR.

-. "N"i hi''i iioaio Ho SOou OI
himself.
A Sheriff has no right to be non
committal.
The most economical time to buy
CIDER is when 1t Is not very clear, for
then it will settle for itself.
Who are the most wicked people
In the world, and why? Pen-makers
because they make people steel pens
and tell them they do write.
The color of three-cent postage
stamps is to be changed from green to
red. The people want change, and
on "A letter it can be easily red.
Funny folks say that the Mexicans
have been trying, unsuccessfully, for
so long to secure an organized govern
ment, that they should be called Mexi-
caEtS.
1t won't be long before some long
haired poet will break into imprisoned
song about Gentle Spring. The public
Is hereby cautioned against any act OF
violence; treat him gently, but firmly.
Worcester Press.
-" Fiat gives We that black eyer"
asked Pat of Michael. FAX, an it
was hur-r-t by mashanery," replied
the discoored individual. 1t was af-
terward learned that he was struck in
a mill by one of his fellow-country-
men.
"A New York court attache has
studied human nature from his stand
point long enough to warrant him in
saying that he "has never known
parents to fail to commit perjury when
it was requisite in defense of their
children"
Thirty or more sumptuously-
bound volumes were seized at the resi-
dence of wealthy gentleman in Eliz-
abeth, n. j., by United States officers,
| for non-payment of duty. He ac-
knowledged that the books were
Struggled into the country, and that
he had paid steamship officers literally
| for the books.
"A tramp, in the last stages of
Topped and Widowed raggedness, was
heard to mutter to a companion in
! New York few days since, as Il
| poodle III sealskin sacque trotted
| proudly by them on Broadway: T." Well,
! I'm bowed if they won't put a point
lace collar on that pup next, and hang
IA stone cameo locket on his gold neck
| chain
"A well-known clergyman, who
preached in village in Massachusetts,
| found his hearers diminishing day by
| day, and consulted an old Scotch sea-
| faring man. who could not boast Of
| much religion, but who stuck by the
ship, why the people would not come
| to church. Il carua exactly tell,
mon ye preached on spring and
autumn most beautiful discourses, and
! ye improved the great accident and
loss OF life on the Sound; ye might try
them with something out Of the Bible,
and, being fresh, maybe i. would hold
them another Sunday or twoI'
The indianapolis Journal Of a re-
cent date says: On the night of the
! Academy of Music fire four drivers
on the Illinois street-car line, being
cut off from the stables by hose across
/ the track, voluntarily made trips north
| until two o'clock in the morning,
raling in fifteen Or twenty dollars eX-
! ira for the company. The manage
| ment muniticently rewarded the enter
! prising drivers for their work by add
! ing fifteen cents to the weekly pay Of
each. One of the poor fellows. over
! whelmCd by such lihcralty, begged to
be allowed to take the amount in in
/ Stallments. He was afraid he could
not stand prosperity.
"A ewcler was heard saving to a
sad-eyed young man yesterday:
| know just how embarrassing it is. but
! it can't be helped. ] sold You the ring
for three dollars, and agreed to tell
your girl if she came here with it that
it was a ninety-dollar diamond ring.
! She came in yesterday while was busy
back here, and that blockhead of a
| clerk up and told her that it was
! filed ring with "A brilliant in the top.
! Yes, | suppose she gave YOU fits last
night, and it may break off the match,
! but you see how it was. She ought to
| have taken your word that it was a
diamond. If YOU want to take her up
| one of those tiye-dollar imitation coral
| sets III make out a bill for sixty dollars
| and sign it in regular shape, and per-
! haps shell be pacilied. - Detroit Free
! Press.
Women in active business life
sometimes make things more interest
ing One Mrs. Isabella Wallace lately
/ appeared in New York court III the
character of the adjustable folding
! chair company. She alone was the
/ company, and she brought suit against
/ certain of her agents 10 recover
! moneys for goods sold. The feminine
characteristics appeared in the affidavit
/ in which she swore that she was in
/ duced to give an agency to one Of the
/ defendants, because, when refused,
/ "he lifted up the tlOodgates Of his