The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-09-01
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

with the flowing bowl he forsWcars inc cIlarul-
er. and henccforth devotes himself to nothing
stronger than tea, coffee and buttermilk he
wants no sympathy-no congratulation-he ooeS
it from pure selishness say because too stlngy 10
treat, or he can't afford it-no matter, he Is no
longer a "iolly good fellow" but resigns all such
wanities and henceforth consults his own Sooa
exclusively Korrect, old boy.
A correspondent sends us the following as
what occurred at their last interview
lie.
He bowed his head with fearful eye,
And said Z" / wish that could die
For so Of hate this cruel earth,
I curse the day that gave me birth
SHE.
She took his hand and sweetly said,
- / could not live if you were dead
Hard luck comes not alone to you,
Alas have my pullbacks too y
Since the biz Starye Rock snake story of Jenk
ms appearcd in Ford's Lacon Democfdt, the pa
pers seem to ght shy Of such narratives, ana the
following are the only ones we see afoat
Mr. Thomas Faron. Of st. Louis, saw the sea
serpent the other day. 1t had scales, dog head'
A pclican's bill a foot in length, with two hoiea III
Il through which it spouts water IN lcto ioot
nigh, long cars pendant locks Of hair several
,ns, six legs and long name. Mr. H. / ,larke'
If Cincinnati recently saw Il black snake MY.
1wo inches long climb up to the fourth.story win
dow of his house and strive TO eat Il mocklnS'
bird that was hanging there in Il cage. Mr.. nm,
Of Reading, Pa, has seen Il big bass three lect
long with his head as big as mans Two ilsts
md so many hooks in his mouth ana so many
pieces of fsh-linc sticking out that he looked rs
Il he had swallowed bale OF hay.
1t is suggested, in this connection, that bro
inlde of potassium (as much as viii lie on the top
If a marter) is an admirable scdatiye. All mar
rators Of fish and snake stories shall have their
part in the lake where it is too hot for bass and
sea-serpcnts."
Perhaps the following may account Tor the pau
city Of minor snake stories in the papers Of late
We find it in the OIL city Erhch!
lis the snake editor in y
amid the sings and arrows OF outrageous
fortune he never forsakes his post. Behold III
me the snake editor
"Well, I've killed rattle"
How long was II y
"Ninc feet FOUR
''Wwhat! . less than ten feet? This paper is no
receptacle for miserable iishing-worm stories"
and the exasperatcd editor seized the visitor by
The throat and shut of from his insides the breath
Of heaven"
"Yaas," gurglcd the poor wretch, "hut 1t had
eighty seven "a"
NNo back talk ~ yelled the editor 'wc want
no rattesnakes less than from ten TO twelve icct
in length" and the snakc.killcr was dashed to
pieces on the tnty pavement below
4 scientific journal says People who never
have reflected on their eyes probably do not know
that four hundred million waye-lcngths OF light
strike upon the retina III single second" And
probably they don't care 30 long as brick, or
something that way. doesn't strike on tie same
spot in less than a minute.
4 Wisconsin man, while out riding with u
young lady, put his arm around her waist and
within few minutes it was paralyzcd. Paraly-
sis is bad thing, but lie must be Il mean sort OF
a fellow that would not risk both arms in such Il
case if necessary
The popularity Of the fly is that he always re-
,rrns TO the same spot but It Is the Characters
Tic of the mosquito that he always returns TO an
other spot. Thus he differs from the leopard,
which does not change his spots. This Is an i'm
portant fact in natural history.
The readers of kentucky papers submit with
out rebellion TO poetry like the following
Cream and peaches once week,
Kiss YOUR Girl on the right-hand check
Apples green and apples dried,
Kiss her on the Other side
--ldlaaG Hri,r,
That eynccs wrctched taste,
Take your girl about the waist,
Lift her to ncr pink-toetps,
And plant il squarcly on her lips.
-FroEkjoH Y,o0,o".
During thunder storm, says AN exchange
two doc. that howled di.mally at night were
struck by lightning and killed. ilowing dog
"a. a "a. IA, tlt,.iv haf
When the London Uo,M reporter went TO In
terycw Grant the General gave long sign ailu
calculated This seems like home feel as Il
/ were in the States once more. Jesse, orucr W
q julep for the Young man. '-EG.
Suffering Ohio! Blanton Duncan and Private
Dalzell are to discuss the issue The unhappy
people are beginning to fee from their homes,
! Minneapolis boy had his thumb cut oil Will
buzz saw and the local paper heads the nc
count: "Thc nsatiatc buzz saw returns 10 it
.houl.likc fcasto Of numan gore"
Oh ever thus from childhood hour
Eve seen my fondcst hope decay
never led the ace or bower
But some ones joker blocked the way
Many worthy people sprinkle their letters wit
u. VS., in referring to their intentions, but
NAV be questioned whether all of them know
what words those initials signify. Thus an oil
lady wrote that she should come 10 dine wit
her daughter ON Wednesday ID. v, and ON Thur
day at all events
4 Hayward- woman believes In having every
tbinr'in readiness. She purchased a collin io
her sick husband ten days prior Ia his death an
kent il in the house. She also had -tylls
mourning suit made, in anticipation of the even
Most any man would he willing To die II hc la
such Thoughtful wife rs tlat.-Sacrtm'to ID
Bismarck IS 20 healthy that people never dI
there Of disease An i.t'r-O,"ol corrcspondcl
writes The very children seemed touched Il
the atmosphere Of the place. y little boy, M
three years old, said to gentleman calling upo
his father, l. your father dead ~ The gentle
man answered in the affirmative, and the youn.
stcr continued, Didhc drinl. whisktyo or g
killed = ~
Lydia Thompson, the papers say, rs CROWN
.tout and what Is worse for Storey, is coming