Mexico weekly ledger., 1877-12-27
A SLEEPING CAR ROMACE.

an ink-bottle. In the sleeping-car
people slept.
Or tried it.
| Some of them slept like Christian
men and women, peacefully, and
sweetly. and quietly.
! Others slept like demons, mallg-
nantly, hideously, tiendishly, as
though it was their mission to keep
everybody else awake.
OF these, the man in lower number
three was the ''boss." When it came
to square snore with variations, you
wanted to count slower three in
with full hand and a pocket full of
rocks.
We never heard anything snore
like him. 1t was the most systemat-
ic snoring that was ever done, even
on one of those tournaments of snor-
lng-a sleeping car. He didn't be-
gin as soon as the lamps were turned
down and everybody was in bed. Oh,
no. There was more cold-blooded
diabolism in his system than that.
He waited until everybody had had a
little taste Of sleep, just to see how
good and pleasant 1t was, and then
he broke in on their slumbers like a
winged, breathing demon, and they
never knew what peace was again
| that night.
He start ont with a terrific
"Gu-r-r-r-t.'
That opened every eye in the car.
We AL hoped it was an accident,
however, and trusting that he wouldn't
do it again, We all forgave him.
Then he blasted our hopes and cur
died the sweet serenity of our for
givcness by long drawn
| "Gw-a, h-h-h-hah -
That sounded too much like busi-
ness to be accidental. Then every
head in that sleeplcss sleeper was
held Off the pillow for minute wait
ing, i'll breathless suspense, TO hear
the worst, and the sleeper in ''lower
three" went on in long drawn, regu-
lar cadences that indicated good stay
|, ing qualities
"Gwa-a-ah? Gwa-a-a-ah! Gagwah-
wah! Gahwahwao! Gahwa-a-a-ahi"
Evidently it was going to last all
night, an.' the weary heads drnnned
swearing began. 1t mumbled along
in low, muttering tones, like the dis
tant echos of protane thunderstorm.
Pretty soon GLOVER three" gave us
little variation. He shot off spite
full
"Gwook!"
Which sounded as though his nose
had got mad at him and was going TO
strike. Then there WAS 4 pause and
We began to hope he mad either awak-
ened from sleep or strangled to death,
nobody cared particularly which.
But he disappointed everybody with
a guttcral-
"Guroochr"
Then he paused again for breath,
and when he had accumulated enough
for his purpose he resumed with
stentorious-
''Kowpf,'
That nearly shot the roof off the
car. Then he went On playing such
fantastic tricks with his nose and
breathing things that would make the
gods weep if they did but
hear him. 1t seemed matter i'll
credible it seemed an utter, prepos-
terous impossibility that any human
being could make the monstrous,
hideous notes with its breathing ma
chine that the fellow in ''lower-three''
was making with his. He ran through
all the ranges of the nasal gamut, he
went up and down very chromatic
scale of snores, he ran through intri-
cate and fearful variations, until it
Sc smcd that his nose must be out of
Joint in thousand places. All the
night and all night through he told
his story
''Gawoh; gurrh! gu-r.r-r! Kowpffl
gawah-hah! gwocki
gwarrt! gwah-h-h-h-whoof!"
Just as the other passengers had
together how they might
slay him, morning dawned, s'lower
number three awoke. Everybody
the curtains to see what
manner of man it was that made that
beautiful sleeping car pandemoni-
um. Presently the toilet was COM
pleted, the curtains parted, and slow
er number three" stood revealed.
Great heavens!
1t was fair yoSng girl, with gold
EN- hair and timiI. pleading eyes, like
a hunted fawn'si
An Illinois woman committed suicide
by hanging herself TO an apple tree.
At the funeral, q neighbor, noticing
the sad appearance of the husband,
consoled him by saying that he had
met with terrible loss. 'sYes,"
said the husband, heaving sigh,
''she must have kicked like thunder
to shake off six bushels of green ap-
pies, that would have been a dollar q.
bushel when they got ripel"
''My dear" said a husband III