The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1877-07-22
A FRENCH LESSON.
NOW OUR NEW MINISTER TO FRANCE
QUALIFIED HIMSELF rem
THAT 0FFICE.
il Complete system Of French Diplomacy
and statesmanslsip.
tNavv Yutk Hut.1

New York SUM-
The Hon, Index Noyes, OF Ohio, and
the Hon, Index Finger Evarts. OF New
York. gat together liz the office OF the
latter. officially discussing the formers
appointment to the French mission.
The personality Of the new minister
To Ali daui Ii not 80 generally known to
his fellow citizens outside OF Ohio az Ii
ought to be and will be before he gets
through with the job. He Is q man cal
culated to do credit to the American
eagle In any part Of the world. He is a
large man, latltudinally and longitude
nally. His presence 70 imposing, his
republican defiance from patriotic lungs,
unsteady thrones will shake and
crowned monarohs tremble. The ex-
pensive shirt front Of the Hon. Index
Noyes covers an expansive nature.
Though his heart beats warmly for
Ohio. he la cosmopolitan In inclination
and cosmopolitan In experience, 30
fer az careful study of the several for
eign exhibits at the recent Centennial
can make him one. He is likely to pro-
duce sensation on the other side.
ut will be necessary, .as a matter OF
FORM" remarked the eminent Secretary
Of State with a deprecatory wave of his
willowy foreflnger, "in accordance with
the REQUIREMENTS Of the system Of civil
service examinations adopted by the
present Administration, to subject your
knowledge to rigid scrutiny, for 1t is one
OF the essentials OF the system--the sine
qua non, IL may employ the language
Of Cicero and the Gracohi.-that every
foreign minister shall understand the
vernacular Of the government to which
he is accredited, and In view OF which
rational requirement you will pardon
me for asking whether you are CONVEX
SAINT. with the French idiom. Farley
voo2,,' -, ,,. ), ~.
a andsa | eolly,s with emphasis is my
ssYoi speak IL with fluency2"
sIspeak French or English indiffer-
ent, replied the Hon. Index Noyes, not
conscious that there was good deal of
truth lii the falsehcod which diplomacy
seemed to require OF him. II may cay
that | think Indifferent In either lam
guage.'
Evarts, for your proficiency In the
vernacular OF Talleyrand anu OF Theirs
will undoubtedly enable VOW to pass
with eclaw the severe examination
which you will be expected to undergo,
under Che strict rules OF the new civil
service system. at half past 2 o'clock to-
morrow afternoon, at which your"
"Do you mean to say that you are
going to catechize me, like id third
class clerk" demanded the Hon Index |
Noyes, with q flush that was partly In |
dignation, but mostly Apprehension.
The star.spangled statesman from |
Hamilton. county turned red, then |
white, and finally looked. rather blue. |
too hastily, Ii he had been less en-
phatic In his claims to proficiency In |
the French language he might have ar |
ranged the matter OF the examination |
on some basis satisfactory to Evarts |
and advantageous to himself. But now
there was no room for a compromise. |
He had burned his bridges behind him.
He must either be bold and maintain |
his position or surrender at the sacrifice
Of personal dignity. Being an Ohio
man and a military hero, he determined
10 keep his face toward the danger. He
kept bis colors we'll to the
'front.',
swell. I'll be thar" he continued,
lnconcern. "Ah reveer."
The Hon. Index Noyes felt that the
situation was critical-that Ii taxed all
;he resources OF Ohio statesmanship.
Three courses suggested themselves to
lis practical mind. The first was to
Ind some competent French scholar
Who could be dressed up to look like
himself and hired to personate him ct
he examination. The second was to 60
q person before the terminating COM
nittee, but to be seized, at the proper
noment, with fit, the oholic, hydro
'hobia, or some other distressing NAL
dy. The third was to acquire the
french idiom before half-past two
clock the next afternoon.
The first plan was at once rejected on
ccount Of its risky character. If
warts or Hayes or anybody. who knew {
ZEN In during the examination, the
anne would be up. Besides" thought |
Toyes, as he pondered the matter, G
there isn't nobody east OF the Allie g
hanies who would personate me In APP 9
and bearing-no, nor west
either"
The sudden attack of sickness scheme
Id not commend itself on close con-
Iteration. A doctor would immedi- v
tely be called In, and his questions r
light be even more embarrassing than
lose or the examiners. WORST OF all, /
possibly might be a French physi- {
AM a
To the remaining plan, the Hon. In b
Ok Moves could find no objections r
hich seemed insuperable. Twenty f
,ur hours, 1t was true, was short time v
, which to acquire foreign language,
ut to one with the Hon. Index Noyes's v
onfidence in his own intellectual ca G
acity the task did not seem hopeless. L
[e felt that much could be done in
wenty-four hours, and that not having p
ny set notions in regard to the English p
HON. he ought to acquire the French /
nth facility. He resolved to master
ne French language before 80 o'clock b
he next afternoon.
ne bought an Ollendorf, but was not p
atlstied with the conversational exer.
Uses therein presented. .T might live 6
orty years in Paree," said the Hon. Il
ndex Noyes, without having ANYBODY a
SIX me whether the wife of the shoe N
maker loved Strawberries, tea or litera.
nre. D-n the wife of the shoemaker I"
What want is the genuine idium. such n
8 is talked in the best saloons in