The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1877-08-10
THE MULE.
BY GEO. A.aUIMBY

iio huie IL TIC onH amman tnat Moan
| didn't take into the AZ with him. have
looked over the freight list carefully, and
could not see mule waybilleh for any place
SO clear-headed manas Noah did not dare
TO take one on board, rs he knew he would
kick a hole through her in less than week
L don't know a man on whose head YOU
could pour quicksilver and run less risk of
its spilling off than on Noah's. He was
dreadful level-hcadcd man, aud before the
freshet was over everybody OIL the earth re-
allied the fact.
The origin Of the mule is cnssPpcd in a
good deal of mystery. Tradition Informs us
that when the food had subsidized, and the
ark had landed on Mount Ararat, Noah was
very much surprised in one of his first OBJ
servations to find good healthy mule stand
ing on the top of an adjoining mountain.-
The same tradition informs us that the mule
is the only animal that lived through the
flood outside of the ark
The mule can be considered in good
many ways, though the worst place from
which to consider him is directly from be-
hind, anywhere within the radius of ten feet
never consider mule from that point, un-
less l am looking out through the fue of
boiler.
Sea captains and people who have to do
with mules always pay Gu extra rate to life
insurance companies A mule and belt
of country where yellow fevcrisx Indigenous
generally stand the same as rSgards the
death rate.
The word mule comes from the Greek,
and signifies "to STOP" and the mule himself
comes to stop also. Like multiplied by
like produces like. Grasshoppes multiplied
by grasshoppers produce famine, and po-
tato bugs multiplied by potato bugs produce
a rise i'll the price Of yeast. But when you
try to multiply mules by mules they don't
multiply, and hence the word mule You
may study your arithmetic, and read through
all of Trains lectures, but you cannot dis
cover why this is SO, any more than you can
why woman cannot put on rubber with
out leaning up against something.
The mule has one more leg than milk
ing stool, and he can stand on one and wave
the other three round in as many different
directions He has only three sepsss, hear
ing, seeing and smelling. He hasno more
sense of taste than a stone jug, aud will eat
anything that contains nntrimenf, and he
don't care two cents whether it be one rcr
cent or ninety All he asks is 10 pass
him along his plate, with whatever happens
to be handy round the pantry, aud he won't
go away and blow how poor the steaEis.-
He just eats whatever is set before hih, and
asks no questions.
Mules are naturally deaf, but that su-
prcmc wisdom that teaches the little. boy to
wipe his nose on his sleeve, has fitted the
mule out with a pair Of cars that counter
acts its deafness so he can hear as readily
as person when you don't want him to-
These ears answer a double purpose, as tun-
nels to pour sound into his head, and also as
fans to brush away tic flies wah.and keep
his head cool. They are hung by hinges to
the sides of his head, and flap backward and
forward like pair of wet trowscrs around a
boys legs. In cold ATTITUDES quite a tasty
business is done in mule ears. The ears are
cut off and dried, and sold for snow shoes,
and the stubs are trimmed up and the mules
are sent South and sold for horses. In this
way great many fine horses are purchased
for the army by the United States.
If wero to have large picture of inno-
cence to hang up in my parlor, and did
not wish to sit for it myself, should get
correct likeness Of mule. There is ;nno-
cence enough depicted in mules counte-
nance to fit out Sunday school class. 1t
looks as guiloless rs an angel worm.
A mule never grows old or dies. Once
brought into existence, he continues Oh for
ever. The original mule is now alive some
where in the South
Mules are chiefly found in the South and
West. They have been more abused than
Judas Iscariot. A boy who would not throw
stone at mule if he got chance would
be thought by his parents too mean to raise.
The mule is a good worker, but he cannot
be depended on. He is liable to strike, and
when mule strikes, human calculation fails
to find out any rule by which to reckon when
he will go to work again Itis useless to
pound him, for he will stand more beating
than sittingroom carpet. He has been
known to stand eleven days in one spot, ap-
parently thinking of something, and then
start off again as though nothing had hap
pencd.
Down South, when they have a surplus
of small darkeys on the plantation, they send
them out into tho barnyard to play, where
there is a loose mule. They always bid
them goodbye when they start oat, for they
arc sure the parting will be find This is
the most economical style of funeral now in
the market
To fully appreciate the mule, one should
lIcfo a., H..