The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1877-10-04
WAAIFS AND WHIMS.
GRNT smokes seventeen cigars ds


IT is impious in good man to be sad.
CALUMNY is only the noise of mad
men.
BEAUTY can give an edge to the blum
test sword.
A RUSSIAN General had to go without
roast chicken for two whole days There's
hardship for you.
1T is announced that the order of
Orangemen in the United States has a
membership of $4,000.
1T is said that Brigham used to spank
his boys in the streets-when he could
make out which boys were his.
A NEwBURG cat has six legs, but it
can't warble any better soprano than
some that are blessed with only four.
The Indian Brahmins neither eat nor
kill any sort OF animals, and it is certain
they have not done SO for more than two
thousand years.
THE Prince of Wales is taking deep
personal interest in the Paris exhibition,
to be held next year. He doesn't want
England beaten.
"DEAD potato bugs are curiosities in
England" d."-Er. A dead potato bug is
a curiosity over here, too. The farmers
say you can't kill 'em.
No earnest thinker is plagiarist pure
and simple. He will never borrow from
others that which he has not already,
more or less, thought out of himself.
THE forests of North Carolina produce
twenty-five species of oak, eight of pine,
nine of spruce, seven of magnolia, eight
of hickory, and five each of elm and
birch.
THERE is queer genius near Burling-
ton who recently placed bell on his
barn to be rung every time he got drunk.
The bell has been ringing for the last
day or two.
ALL the members of the American
rife-team have light eyes. 1t is asserted
that light-eyed marksmen do not require
as high an elevation in sighting as the
dark-eyed marksmen.
1t has been proved in Nevada and
other silver producing States of the West
that capital devoted 10 agriculture pays
better and more regularly than if put
into gold and silver mines.
IT is announced that the rock founda-
ton of the famous Eddystone Light
house is wearing away to such an extent
that it has been decided to remove it,
and erect another in its stead.
A MAN in Lebanon, Pennsylvania,
sued an editor for libel; the verdict was
in favor of the editor, and now the
libeled man is in Jail because he couldn't
raise the money to pay the costs.
THE Pope is reported as saying that
the death of NJ. Theirs is an event of
importance to France, and that his
presence might have been more useful
than injurious to the cause of order.
A GUILELEss Texas youth rode a
thirty-dollar mule into town the other
morning, swapped eight times, and rode
home at night on a seventy-five dollar
horse, and with hundred dollars in his
bootleg.
A Missouri man recently applied for
divorce from his conjugal partner of
forty-nine years standing. The Judge
said nobody could spoil a golden we'd
ding in his Court, and summarily dis
missed the suit.
FIVE human skeletons have been dis
covered at Dombristle, near Dumferline,
Scotland, only eighteen inches below the
surface. The spot was the place of the
murder Of the Earl of Mordy by the
Earl of Huntley in 1901.
JUDGE BIDDLE of the Supreme Court
of Indiana has invented musical in
strument somewhat like a violin, and
called tetrachord. 1t may be made in
different sizes, so that twelve instruments
will constitute full string band.
A MAN at Niagara is building a raft
of pine logs, with house at one end for
the accommodation of cats and dogs that
are to make a compulsory voyage over
the Falls. If the raft goes over smoothly
and the cats and dogs are not hurt,
Robert White says he will attempt the
same perilous voyage on similar craft.