Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1877-02-23

Many years ago, when lucifer matches
were yet unknown, and the tinder-box,
with IFS flint and steel, formed the only do
mesiic instrument for obtaining light, a
little old man used TO walk about in one Of
the suburbs of London holding in his hand
a fan-shsped bunch of matches, made, as
usual in those days, of spllnters Of resinous
pine wood tipped with birthstone. He
never offered his goods, except by silent
gesture, nor did he make them an excuse
Cor asking charity as many others were in
the habit of doing. The good-natured
servant-Girls who saw him pass their win
dows would run up from the area with a
smile and half-penny, and call out, "Mas-
Ter, some timber !" but they never spoke
of matches. "Timber, madam" the old
man would say; "yes, madam )" and with
a grave face aud a courteous bow would
supply their want. 1t was reported that
the old man had seen better days perhaps
he had at some former time dealt in pine
logs, and carried Oh business on a large
scale; now he called himself 'smsll Tim
ber merchant" and if any one addressed
him as the "Inatchman," or asked him for
a half pennyworth OF brimstones, he would
take no notice of The speaker, but turn
away in disgust, as if it were impossible
for him TO have any dealings with such
customer. or course the poor old man was
crazy, aud those who knew him humored
and pitied him.
But how many people are there in these
days crazy after the same fashion, without
being aware Of il themselves or suspected
of it by their neighborsl The snall trades
man carrying on business in some by-lane
calls himself a merchant. his shop an en-
porium, his back kitchen warehouse, and
his cellar depot; The bricklsyer or car
penter is contractor; the hairdresser is a
professor; the wig-maker is an artist in
hair and the milkman, a purveyor while
the dress maker presides over the myster-
les of her art in q msgasin des modes. The
same spirit shows itself here and there
among all classes. In answer 10 advertise
ment for hospital matron "lady super
ior" offers herself; and if a mistress is
wanted for an infant-school, applications
are made, not always grammatically ex-
pressed, for the post Of 'governess." A
lady who has been inquiring for house,
maid. She wears an imitation fur jacket,
imitation gold ear rings, and an imitation
chignon, or plait, made of cotton or hemp
by some new patent process of this imita-
tion age, with a curious bunch of gauze,
feathers, ribbons, grapes and flowers, hung
on behind by way Of bonnet her hands
are encased in lavender colored kid gloves,
and she carries light parasol in her hand,
though the day is overcast, and an umbrel-
la would be much more TO the purpose.
She makes an imitation bow when the mis-
tress of the house enters the room aud her
father, who is proud of her appearance and
manners, introdces her with the appropriate
words, "This is the young lady, ma'am, as
is open to an engagement for your situa-
tion." The owner of the house, who has
no intention of resigning her situation, but
only wants housemaid, declines the ap-
plication.
There are pretensions OF a worse kind
than this. A well-educated youth, for in
stance, leaves school and is placed in an Of
fee or under articles, with view to his fu-
ture profession. His fellow-clerks or fell
low-students appear TO him by their Co.'S
tunes and conversation TO he 'great
swells." He does not wish to be thought
inferior TO them, and very soon learns to
initiate their style and adopt their man
ners. He hears them talking largely Of
their parentage, of their exploits and sx-
lraVagances; aud he wishes to be thought
as rich, as gay and as reckless as the best
Tor wors) of them. If they smoke, he
must do the same; if they drink, he will
drink with them; If they behave like
! beathens and talk dlsgracefully and vilely,