Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1877-04-07

rlDh u lew SNNuiubo FiN'ie''o'' "''N
his mind to try a turn on the roller-skates.
There was some little difficulty experienced
when Mr. Midierib presented himself at the
rink andcalled for the necessary pararhernalia
in finding pair Of skates that would accom-
modate him. lie has been afflicted for years
past with tender feet, and has dealt most ten
dery with the active "reminiscences Of youth
ful corns aud bnuions and the distorted re-
membrance Of the tight boots Of his callow
days, by wearing the largest aud soitest socks
and the rcomicst boots that could be had Tor
money Consequently, when he askel for
skates, the man thought he must mean pair
Of skids. But they found pair that could be
persuaded to do, aud, although Mr.. Middlerib
could not see them when they were on his feet,
be accepted the statement Of the artist that
they were Just Il snug ht, and stood up-tcm-
porarily.
IEe had fallen with such amazing celebrity
and promptuess that he couldn't for the life
of him see that it changed the slippery skate
of his toybood particle to take of the blade
and put on wheels. He felt around for bis
hat, which had jolted up of bis head like a
rocket and lodged in the chandelier; and,
when they fshed il down and handed tito him,
he felt around for bis head, which seemed TO
have gone a story and a half higher than the
hat. But it was in It's usual place, and be ten
dcrly covered It with his hat, pulling the head
niece clear down over his ears TO avoid The
danger Of joltine il up through the ventilator
in the ceiling. Then he got up very slowly
and with alarming caution. lie held on to a
post with one hand and a man with the ether
and Strengthened mp by degrees, as boy hiding
behind the wood-pile rises to sec If his father
is coming. When be stood up at las'. and
looked down at the floor, Mr.. Middlerb was
amazed to see how far away it was. 1t didn't
seem as though he could stand on one foot and
reach down to it with the other II his knees
would only quit wobbling, he said, be could
strike out and get around with any Of them
The man who steadied him told him thcy
wouldn't wobble after be got started. Mr.
Middleribs confidence in the stcadiness Of Tho
roller-skate, however, had been sadly shaken
since he got bis foot 90 it, and it required
great deal persuasion on the part Of Mr. Max
well, and a great deal Of exhibition and poetic
skating on the part Of the exposiiory artist, tc
ipduce him TO strike out But be struck out
at last, with both feet East By north with thC
left foot, or kind of up toward the Cedar-rap-
ids depot, and southeast by south, or in the
general direction Of Dichie's mill and Pros
pect bluffs with the other His feelings were
terrible. Each foot went farther than The
other, and gained In speed at every revolution
Of the little wheels. IF Mr. Midderibs legs
had been longer, he would have skated farther
and faster. and in more widely-diyefging d.
rcctions. As it was, Just before he tore himsel
ia two, oue Of his feet struck bench. and th'
other good but PROSTATE young man, whC
had. if Mr.. Middlerib could judge BY the crash
which accompanied bis arrival, just fallen from
the moon. Strong hands sustained Mr. Mid
derib, aud assisted him to pun himself TO-
gelher again; foT the owner Of the building
had Just informed the proprietor Of the rink
that if Mr. Middlerib fell again be would raise
the rent. Mr.. Middlerib sighed heavily, aud
said it was a dreadful thing to feel yourself
seceding-hltly disintegraiing, as il were, and
no constitutional distractions 70 check the pro
ceedines. lie bad, however, he said, rather
got the hang Of it, and thought be would Do
very well. If the man, lie said, would onlj
give him helping shove to start him. Anc
the iuan kindly gave him helping shove t
start him. And now Mr. Midilerib siaftel
of down the ribk like a landslile on legs.
lie had not 60, twenty feet away from the
man before be made the appalling discovery
that his feet were moving forward at much
.reater rate than his body. lie thought tha.
maybe lie was making steam too fast, and &C
cordingly be shut OF and held his feet clos
together, but they held the start they gained
and even KEEP: cn increasing il. Mr. Middle
rib knew tha, this could not last long; b
knew that matters would be brought to a crisi
very soon and he saw disaster staring him i
the face Il be didn't manage to catch up wit
bis feet very Immediately. lie remembere
how be used to stop himself when he was
boy, aud, raising his toes, lie essayed 70 d
bis heels 10 the floor.
He came a great deal nearer, 20 tic peopl
said who saw him 60 down, digging bis toc
/ into the ceiling. But be dug something ini
the floor with sufficient vehemence 70 enabi
him to "slow up" before be went through it
end Of the building. He said when they s.
him up and le. him lean against the pefforate
end Of the arnica bottle, that the ice Of b
cliGhood, as be remembered, was less adiic