The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1877-11-02
WIT AND HUMOR.
.rcHEs are still on a strike.

MATCHES are still on strike.
A MATTER of form-Fitting dress.
THE center of observation-disclosures.
THE sun is the oldest and best tanner.
A RIFLE team-A gang of burglars.
IT was backward debtor who said:
The dues you say"
BETTER to have loved a short girl than
never to have loved tall.
This is the time to roast chestnuts and
pop corn and the question.
GIVE us the dollars of anybody-what's
the use of being particular
Is man who accepts free ticket to
party necessarily ball d'eadhead?
A HOUSEHOLDER advertises rooms to
let to gentlemen furnished with gas.
ABOUT the most uncomfortable seat
.man can have, in the long run, is self
conceit.
"YEs," said the old reprobate, &C al
ways recognize water when / see lit
looks just like gin"
Ten years from now stealing will have
become thing of the past. There will
be nothing left to steal.
"MY child, what is an erring man r.
said clergyman at school examination
to the brightest pupil. "The fish-mong-
er, sir" was the reply.
A GRAVE old man told his son that if
he did not grow less dissipated he would
shorten his days. "Then, dad, said
the boy, 81 shall lengthen my nights"
IT was observed of q philosopher who
was drowned in the Red sea that "his
taste would be suited, for he was man
of deep thinking, and always liked to go
DO the bottom.
THE Oil City Derrick says: eve don't
care cent what becomes of the last
man, or the first one either. 1t is what
is to become of the intermediate fellows
that interests us.
"WHY," asked Pat, one day, "why
was Balaam frst-class astronomer
The other gave it up, of course. "Shure,"
said Pat, "'twas he had no trouble in
finding an ass to roid."
THE CossACKs LAMENT.
oh, Kara me back to Old Bulgary,
To Old Bulgary's shore;
feel quite strange in this Balkan range,
And want to go home, what's more
On the Danube strand I'd like to stand,
I'm sick and tired of the war;
Then Kara me back to Old Burglary,
To Old Bulgary's shore.
-Neio York Commercial
"MY dear boy" said mother to her
son, as he handed round his plate for
more turkey, "that is the fourth time
you've been helped" 81 know, moth
err" replied the boy, "but that turkey
pecked at me once, and L want to get
square with him."
"How WOULD you make believer of
an incredulous man?" asked one gentle
man of another not long since. ct
think the surest way would be to set him
over a beehive" was the reply; "and 1
calculate that after he'd been stung once
or twice he would become bee leaver
in earnest.
A MEDICAL student who got very drunk
one evening told his father next day that
he was suffering from cephalalgy in
duced by the ductility of glandiferous
stopper placed in the mouth of a vitreous
vessel containing distilled grain" The
old man gave him an order for new suit
of clothes, 10 still further encourage
him in his studies.
A SCHOOL Board Inspector asked
small pupil of what the surface of the
earth consists, and was promptly an
swered: "Land and water" He varied
the question slightly, that the fact might
be impressed on the boys mind, and
asked: "What, then, do land and water
make?" To which came the immediate
response: "MudW