, 1877-12-28
That Earthquake.

The sensation of men and women in
view ut earthquakes are various and pc.
culiAr. We hear uf | iiCa gentleman
Who entered his house with the aid Of q
lA'ch.key shout earthquake time on sun.
day morning. lie had previously drank
a glass of beer, and he said To himself,
holding fast to the bsnisters, Power
/ fullest beer ever drank in my life
william" called out his wife, "did
you fal!i Are you drunk again, VIII
/ liant
emo" he replied. "Whas the mat
ter with your What makes y shake the
bed sOi Got the sger agin"
william" she returned, with a sob,
"you did fall aud you know il. You
made the whole house shake, too. You
woke me ont of a sound sleep. even
heard the dishes rattle, and it seemed as
if the very bel was going out from under
me. This is the second time, William.
| shall write to my ma tomorrow
"Wish | understood 'stronomy, or
geology, or something" said the perse-
cutod innocent to himself, II did take
a glass of beer, but amt SO much 'toxi-
Gated that don't know when am right
side up" He thought seriously for
moment aud then looked startled.
"P'r'aps they mixed it," he said Mus
be. Seemed to me the house was goin'
around. anyhow"
We draw veil over the scene that fol.
lowed. There are some discussions toe
sacred for the public ear, and an angry
woman in night t-dress is a something
too appalling for the public eye.
To the clear conscience even earth
quakes are not frightful, however. When
the editor of the Amsterdam Recorder
was awakened by the shock he rose up
in his bed and called out in clear voice,
"Gabriel, is that you2" The shock
passed off, but not wave of his raven
locks was disturbed. IL say" he called
out absently, "come in." The silence
was oppressive. ~ pass" he remark ed
sleepily after moment; adding as he
rolled over, 1.-TWO dollars in advance;
two and half at the end of the year"
When Allen G. Beach arose to the sit
uation the scene was far different. 'lt is
an omen of defeatr' he shrieked, throw
ing off the clothes and jumping violently
out of bed. II hear the host of virtue
and reform marching down upon me! 1t
is the destruction of the Democratic
Pharoah. 1t is the tramp of the Assyr-
ians. 1t is the army of the Union in
search of sour apple tree. What ho!
Bring me horse. Better still, send for
hack. shall get out of this. 1 shall
go so far that my name shall be strange
to all the surrounding country; and,
him! won't charge the State cent for
mileage"
To the young and innocent there Is
necessarily nothing excessively dreadful
in these things. They do not understand
them. "What makes you tremble so,
Matildal" inquired youth who was sit
ting alone with the young lady men
toned, the old folks having gone to bed.
"You are not afraid, hopeY"
II wasn't trembling, Charles" she
replied. 81 thought you were. Why,
this is very singular. l think the build
ing is shaking. And listen. There are
burglars in the house, Charles. l hear
them in the next room. Oh, what shall
we do9 Why didn't we keep the light
burningl"
Hush" he said, as one having au-
thority. "Not word. Sit up closer,
Matilda. Let US not go searching after
danger Let it C, me if it will. Closer
yet. Hang on to me, Matilda, and all
will be we'll. Or, if we must perish,
let US be brave and perish together"
Phoebe Couzzins was perhaps the most
stoical of the many who were rudely
awakened on this momentous occasion.
"Gentlemen," she said, starting up in
bed and sleepily searching around in
vain for the help which, alas is not hers,
"my client is innocent. The horse was
stolen by an entirely different person. l
allude, gentlemen Of the jury, toto
what's that2" The house was violently
shaken, and she added, with firm voice,
"Barkis is willin'; and at the same time,
gentlemen Of the jury, am not afraid"
The shock died away and she resumed
her pillow with calm confidence, merely
remarkiDg to herself as she dropped
asleep, "I've heard enough about that
Colorado election. Now stop"-ROcAes-
ter Democrat.