The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1877-03-30
An Indians Practical Joke.

combined forces OF the British and In
dians. These acts of barbarity were of
course attended with many atrocities
upon the defenceless inhabitants, for the
savage allies of the enemy were under
slight restraint and ran their usual
course of tomahawking and scalping.
The village of Lewiston was burned early
one winter morning, and the affrighted
residents fled for their lives eastward on
the Ridge road. They were pursued
for several miles, and many places
along the way were plundered and
| ravaged.
The experience of a farmer whom we
will call Thompson was rather more
ludicrOus than tragical, and illustrated
an Indians idea of II practical joke, al
though it was rather a costly one to
poor Thompson. His house was some
distance back from the road, and upon
learning from the first fugitives of the
general peril, he made up his mind that
his best course was to keep himself and
his family out of sight, in hopes that the
savages would overlook his place. So
the Thompsons hid themselves in the
cellar, except the head of the family,
who anxiOusly reconnoitred the distant
road through crack in the door. He
saw many Indians pass on horseback,
and by noon they had commenced to re-
turn. His hopes grew brighter, for his
danger would soon be over, when he was
suddenly thrown into CONSERVATION by
the sight Of two savages, ferocious with
war-paint and feathers, riding up the
lane directly to his house. With a
groan of terror he gave himself up, and
all that was his, for lost. From where
he stood he could see the smoke of two
burning dwellings, and he had no reason
to anticipate any thing better for him
self than massacre and destruction. In
moment he heard their hatchets pound
ing at the door, and with such feelings
as cannot be described, he opened it,
and the two fierce intruders stalked in.
"Ugh!" grunted one of them, turning
Thompson about by the shoulder. The
victim afterwards declared that the In
dian looked to him ten feet high, and
as big as barrel. "Ugh-pale face
guns?"
mo, nO-nOne at all.
ugh! Pale face-squawl"
With sinking heart the poor man
went to the cellar-door and called up
OAiSs hOAD PoOh, WIN oPpOuA'7u III tIC Aul
expectation that she was to DO murdered
Immediately.
"Ughw The Indian looked at her,
and then turning to Thompson again
asked, "Pale face-namel"
Thompson"
"Pale-face-pappoosel'
There was no help for it, and the
three trembling children came up. The
Indian looked stolidly at them-in fact,
his face never once changed during the
whole Of this singular interview-and
giving another grunt, he said:
"Injun hungry much. Thompson
meat, potato, whiskey-Iwun meat, po-
tato, whiskey. Thompson squaw-get
him."
The idea conveyed by this broken
English, that every thing in the house
was to be considered the property Of
these unbidden guests, was perfectly un-
derstood, aud Mrs. Thompson promptly
bestirred herself to get what they wanted.
Her husband often asserted afterward
that those two Indians then and there
devoured two loaves of bread, leg of
boiled mutton, more than half peck of
potatoes, and left not a drop in q three
pint measure filled with whisky. Their
tremendous meal was finished with
mutual grunts of satisfaction, and the
spokesman said:
Thompson calumet, toback-Injun
calumet, toback. Thompson get him."
Two cob pipes and quantity of am
munition for them were produced, and
for about two hours following the two
visitors sat on the floor and smoked, all
the time keeping their eyes watchfully
on Thompson, and their knives and
hatchets handy, and once in a while ex-
changing word in their own language.
The wife and children stood by unnoticed,
wondering what was to be the end of it.
At last the Indians rose with signs Of
satisfaction, deposited the pipes and
surplus tobacco somewhere about their
persons, and were apparently about to
leave, when one of them happened to
look out of the window. He gave anoth-
er grunt, and taking Thompson by the
shoulder, pointed to two handsome
horses in the barnyard.
ugh" he said, Thompson horses,
Injun horses. Thompson saddle bride,
Iejua saddle bride. Thompson get
him."
There was nothing to be done but to
comply, and in few minutes the horses
were at the door. Then, with undimin-
ished gravity, the savage took Thomp-
son once more by the shoulder, and
remarked, in kind Of gracious way,
pointing to Mrs. Thompson and the
children:
ugh. Thompson squaw. TAompson