davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-09-28
VARIETIES.

1t is said that the few persons who d
not yet know that kerosene is explosiv
are rapidly perishing from off the face 0
the earth.
"A small child, being asked by Sun
day school teacher: "What did the Israel
ties do after they crossed the Red Sea p
answered 81 don't know ma'am, but
guess they dried themselves"
"A man whose appearance indicated
that he was staggering from the excessive
weight of brick in his hat, being asked
If he was Son ofTemperance, replied
"hic--no relation-not even an acquaint.
ance."
"A Kansas school marin has introduced
a new feature in her school. When one Of
the girls misses word the boy who spells
it gets permission to kiss her. AS result
the girls are becoming very poor spoilers
while the boys are improving.
An Irish gentleman parting with lazy
servant woman was asked, with respect to
her industry, whether she was what is term
ed afraid of work. ooh not at all - said he;
mot at all; she'll frequently lie down and
fall asleep by the very side of it,"
AN old gentleman was sitting upon
the brink of river, fishing most patiently.
Suddenly vicious dog stole up behind
him, and gave him spiteful snap through
his pantaloons. "Whew !" the old fisher
man exclaimed, "'ve got bite at last p
"A tramp applied to lady in Des Moines
Tor something to cat, and to the inquiry
why he didn't 60 to work said there W as
not any chance to work at lis trade now.
The lady asked him what his trade was-
"Shovelling snow," was the confident an
swer. He got his dinner.
"A Scotch clergyman was seen by a neigh
Dor trudging home on Monday morning
with stout cod he had lust bought and
was accosted with; "Mr. Dunkin, did Won
know that that fish was caught on Sun
day 2" The minister, in his characteristic,
blunt manner, replied: "Well, well, the
fish is not to blame for that, my men,"
A grave magistrate was sitting at the
table between two coxcombs, who took it
into their heads to attempt making him
the butt of their ridicule. "Gentlemen,n
said he, +" l plainly perceive your design
but to save unnecessary trouble, must
beg leave to give you just idea of nv
character. BE it known to you that am
not precisely a fool, nor altogether knave,
but Gas you see) something between both"
"A boy got his grandfather's gun and
loaded it, but was afraid to fire; he, how
ever, liked the fun Of loading, and SO put
in another charge, but was still afraid to
fire. He kept on charging, but without
firing, until he got six charges in the old
piece. His grandmother, learning his te-
merity, smartly reproved him, and grasp
ing the old continental, discharged it,
The result was tremendous, thus throwing
the old lady on her back. She promptly
struggled to regain her feet, but the boy
cried outlay still Granny, there are five
more charges to go off"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-09-28
An UnIucky Room,

In hotel of the Quarter Latin, Paris
a lovesick student ten years ago blew his
brains out. The following year medical
student who failed to pass an examination
did the same. The landlord, in alarm,
declared that no one should sleep in the
room again, and made it a storing place
for furniture. One morning waiter in the
house, being accused of trihing theft,
mounted to the room and hanged himself
This led the landlord to relinquish the
building. His successor was unfortunate,
and soon sold out, and it fell into the
hands Of druggist. The new tenant heard
the story of the fatal chamber with indiffer-
ence, but upon his wife it made u great
impression. She stunned ito the extent
of passing much of her time in the cham
Der most distant from it. The druggist
finally found that this chosen sanctuary of
refuge was the room of his head clerk. In
a fit of jealousy he swallowed poison and
mounted to the fatal chamber to die
This last suicide excited the neighborhood
and the owner of the hotel was requested
to wall up the door of the room. He only
laughed. The neighborhood was very
angry, but its ire was appeased on the an
nouncement that the building was to be
demolished, in order to make way for a
continuation of the Faubourg st. Germain
The proprietor demanded quarter of a
million francs from the city, but the assess
ors awarded him only ninety thousand
The proprietor fell sick with disappoint-
ment, and during convalescence he desired
to take last look at his property, which
was to fall on the following day. When
the workmen arrived to begin the work of
demolition the fatal chamber had a new
tenent. The proprietor's body was found
hanging there.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-09-28

mediate meditations. Freedman utterly ex.
hausted--goes round house to back window OF
Kitchen hangs on still and talks to cook about
joining the strikers. Freedman was still hanging
on window-sill, forty-six minutes afterwards,
when company came and put an end to my
diary. But there is enough of it for my purpose
which Is moral as well as political. Freedman
was SO thoroughly used up by this big job, that
he took to his bed, as l was informed, and re-
manned there all next day, which, fortunately
for him, was Sunday.
Now, should like to see the following pre-
ambies and resolution passed unanimously, if
possible without debate, at the next Democratic
County Convention:
Whereas, il this poor down-trodden freedman
mad been still slave at the time this yard was
moved he would have been made to work even
harder than he did, [as related by reliable eye
witness, and
Whereas, even so little more might have cost
him his life, las it is the last straw that breaks the
cancels back;] Therefore,
ReOotVed, by this Convention, that the Adolf
tionists were right. G. Wa.
ChUrchOflle, September 7th
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-09-28
A Russian PEASANTS Savings Bank.

In one of the small provincial towns O
southern Russia savings bank has recent
ly been established the second clerk O
which, while lounging at his desk on
'hat day" in summer, was startled by til,
entrance of heavy-looking peasant
slouching, grimy, unkempt the very las
man one would expect to see in bank
except for the purpose of robbing it. TIL,
apparition came timidly up to the counte
and the following dialogue ensued:
"Well, my good fellow, what may yot
want here, pray2"
"lf it please you, father, want you tc
take charge of some money for me. Oul
folks. say that l may be robbed of it, and
that it will be safer with YOU"
money, eh9 Why, how much money
have you got then Four roubles Five
Ten 2"
"No, it must be more than that fancy
My wife and l couldn't manage to count
it all, though we've been at it all the morn.
ing"
SO saying the gentleman in sheepskin
produced tattered, filthy leather bag, and
poured out before the clerks astonished
eyes perfect pyramid of bank bills of all
values, from one rouble to fifty.
The amazed clerk hastily summoned his
two colleagues, and the three, after a long
spell of counting, satisfied themselves that
the total amount was not less than 10000
roubles (S15,0O0)
The peasant, who had stood watching
the operation with a look of childish curl.
osity, pocketed his receipt and walked off
as coolly as if nothing had happened; but
tie next morning he reappeared and again
addressed himself to the same clerk.
God be with you, father. Do you take
care of gold, too, as we'll as bank bils2 2"
What gold? Why, you'd better start
bank yourself. How much gold have
you got, in heavens name z"
1.-TWO boxes full"
At this point the banker himself, who
had been listening to the conversation
with the deepest amazement, came forward
and announced his intention of accom-
panying his strange customer home, and
taking charge of the gold himself. The
unwashed capitalist joyfully accepted the
offer, and the pair drove out to hamlet
about two miles from the town. Here the
peasant led his companion to small,
mean-looking hut, and opening shed on
one side Of it, displayed two battered
wooden boxes, through the breaches in
which gold pieces were escaping in all di-
rections, while beside them lay the dirty
bag which had held the bank bills of the
day before.
The banker asked in amazement, "How
long have you had this money 2"
my father and grandfather saved it
up" answered the peasant, and buried it
here; and dug it up just the other day,
because Pm going to shift my quarters"
"But with all this money, why don't you
and your wife live in better style 2" asked
the banker, looking around the miserable
howell.
"Why should we, father2 We do very
well as we are"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-09-28

es, and Use gwine along this pike to Stras,
burg. Now Use done talking"
With this she settled herself on the seal
and leant back with most determined air
and the discomfitted man shut the door
amid peals of laughter from within and
without In few moments we were quiet
again, and all bc"an to settle themselves
for sleep, when the silence was broken by
our heroine.
"Kitty, is you sick ?"
"No," said Kitty.
"Well it is Il wonder. Gentlemen, can't
one of take Kitty's scat and give her
| yourn She gets munstrous sick when she
! ia riding with her back to the horses"
There was death-like silence, and my
curiosity was aroused to know how she
| would manage that point. After few
moments she began again.
''Kitty, is you sick ?''
"No, not yit, said Kitty.
swell | do wish one of these gentlemen
would give Kitty his seat Still no re-
ply. All was becoming quiet again, when
she raised her voice:
kitty Grim, is you sick ?"
eyes just little" said Kitty.
81 knowed it. | knowed she was sick, and
WHICH Alt'y Gfiih Sets slcK she most In
general filings up"
The effect was electric.
"My dear madam, exclaimed both gen
tlemen at once, stake my seat, by all means
take my seat"
The Methodist clergyman being nearest
gave up his seat and took hers. The
change was soon effected amidst the most
uproarious laughter all feeling that they
were fairly outgeneraled the third time
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-09-28

A TURKISH FABLE.-Here is Turkish
fable Abdullah went to the residence of
Nasereddin to borrow his mule. Mastered
din, who was Il ready lender, said that the
mule was not at home. At that moment
the mule prayed loud enough to wake the
echoes. "What did you say, Nassercddin,
that your mule was not at home-but |
hear him." $50 thy way, false Abdullah,"
said his neighbor, "you are not true
friend, for you believe the mule and refuse
to take my word"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-09-28

ORIGIN OF MAHOGANY FURNITURE
About the Eighteenth Century West In
dian Captain brought some mahogany logs
as ballast for his ship and gave them to his
brother, DR.. Gibbons, an eminent physician,
who was then building house. The wood
was thrown aside as too hard for the work
mems tools. Some time afterward his wife
wanted candle box. The doctor thought
of the West Indian wood, and out of that
the box was made. Its color and polish
tempted the doctor to have bureau made
of the same material, and this was thought
30 beautiful that is was shown to all his
friends The Duchess of Buckingham,
who came to look at it, begged wood
enough to make another bureau for herself.
Then the demand arose for more, and Hon.
duras mahogany became common article
of trade.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-09-28
CLAIREMoNT FARM AHEAD.

Potatoes, wheat, and oats, and hay:
Clalremont farming is bound to pay.
In former years il was the boast
That only on the Irish cost
Would large potatoes grow;
But this which am going to tell,
That vain delusion will dispel,
And prove that tits not so.
For here on "Clairemont's" grand estate.
Potatoes rank no second rate,
In these productive grounds;
specimen we find, just eight
Which turned the scale in heavy weight.
Ten and one-quarter pounds.
Let not the one-horse farmers laugh.
For on one acre and a-half,
A rare potato field,
or bushels housed, this present year,
Three hundred and fifty clear
Was just the ample yield.
Now farmers all, beat this who can.
But wait, here's more and more again.
So sure as | am alive.
Nine acres of this farm did bear
OF oats in bushels, l declare,
Five hundred and eighty-fve.
And yet again l must repeat,
OF seven acres, grown with wheat
On that productive SOIL
The bushels were in number given.
Two hundred and sixty-seven-
A rich reward for toll.
And lastly, as / here must saw,
They had large wagon loads of hay,
One hundred and fourteen.
Beat this, We Merton farmers, now,
Or else to "Clairemont" meekly bow.
say just what | mean
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-09-28
TRIMS OF INTEREST,

An Ottawa CAM woman sold her
hair to pay her taxes.
"A Gloucester (Eng) paper announces
for sale the remnant of the stake to which
Bishop Hooper was chained at his martyr
dom.
Samuel G. Robinson, who died few
days ago at Augusta, Me-, at the age of
seventy, was the champion player upon the
fife, piccolo and clarionet in that region,
and could play 1000 tunes from memory.
The Republican nominee for Judge of
Lawrence County, Pa, is William A. Stew
art, colored barber, who was admitted
to the bar in Ohio but never practiced,
owing the prejudice against him on account
of his color.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-09-28
Strikes.

Strikes are quite proper, only strike right;
Strike to some purpose, but not for fight;
Strike for your manhood, for honor and fame;
Strike right and left, till you win good name;
Strike for your freedom from all that is vile;
Strike off companions who often beguile;
Strike with the hammer, the sledge and the axe;
Strike off bad habits with burdcnsomc tax;
Strike out unaided, depend on no other;
Strike without gloves, and your foolisLness
smother;
Strike off the letters of fashion and pride
Strike where tits best, but let Wisdom decide;
Strike good blow while the iron is hot;
Strike, keep striking, till you hit the right spot
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-09-28
Poe L j. g al.
John Chinaman's Conclusion.

John Chinaman's Conclusion.
John Chinaman at his washtub stood,
And cheerily rubbed and secured
The wages he got were small enough,
But never his soul was soured.
He did not covet q mansion proud,
His tastes were simple and few;
He washed away with lightsome heart
And sang as the soap suds flew.
Soon the Mclean man he came that way,
And it grieved him sore to see
A heather with plenty of work to do,
And doing it merrily;
For the Mclean man was on a strike,
And his soul was full of gall;
So he rallied some other Mclean men,
And gave the heather call.
They kicked John Chinaman into the street
Aud round the premises tore;
Till his tubs and other utensils lay
A wreck on the laundry floor
Then the heather he gathered his savings
scant
And sailed for his own countree;
ono Mclean man for me-" he sighed,
Gle vely muchee too free"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-09-28
Autumn,

The summers breath is faint upon the hills.
Her feet are weary in the wales and woods.
And autumn with drowsy incense fills
The hooks and gades and leafy solitudes.
Soft on the grassy bank the sunshine sleeps;
The air wealth of misty radiance holds;
Nature with dreamy eyes her vigil keeps.
And all the scene in pensive beauty folds.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-09-28

"A man in Brooklyn was very badly
injured recently by large black spider
1t was cast-iron one, and his wife was
present and active on the occasion.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-09-28
THE EGIS & INTELLIGENCER
is PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAYD
F. w. B A K E r.
Terms--$ so a Year, in Advance
Otherwise $500 will be charged.

TRANSIENT ADvRRTIsEMENTs--0ne Square, two inser
tons S1.00 Each subsequent insertion, % cents. Lo
acknowledgements in the same proportion. spao
equal to Six lines makes n square.
81 Yearly advertisements at special rates.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-09-28
farMrers' Column.
Speed the PIOlp.o
Good Farming,

The following letter was recently written by
apoetical farmer of Merton township, Montgom-
cry county, Pa, to lady friend in Hartford coun
ty' giving an account of his crops this year.
good many farmers are not able to see the poe.
try of farming, but it is pleasant to have the fine
arts interpersed with the cultivation of the soil.
Inc letter was not intended for publication and
is strictly true, Have any of our Hartford farm
ers raised as good crops as the owner of
"Clalremont ?" Let them inform us in rhyme
or otherwise:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-09-28
TO EVERYBODY

7 ANNOUNCE that our Foundry being
l.. right in the coal and iron region of Penn.
sylYania, l can sell
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-09-28
Sewing Machines !
TOA
GOLD BASIS.
-Re0d These Prices:

WlIsOn, new undeFIctd. .............. 70
Secor, Empire, Htna, Keystone, Common
Sense. Florence, Blces, Domestic, Home, Nc.
Lean " Hooper, and other makes at equally low
prices.
All attachments including Tucker Binder,
extra Hemmer, &C., free.
Write without delay for our new Ga page IL.
Illustrated PRICE LIST.
OrmOnd Manufacturing Co,
my4-1y Al N Gay Street, Baltimore.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-09-28

Domestic, Etna, Florence and all other
kinds at equally low prices.
Extra Attachments furnished with all Ma
chimes free. Best quality NEEDLES for all
kinds of Machines by mail, 30 cents.
Machine Belts 40 cents each.
Extra attachments for sale and fitted to all
kinds of machines.
Repairing, Re-Japanning and Rebuilding
promptly and neatly done.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-09-28
Sewing Machines
OF ALL KINDS
Sold and Exchanged

ON EASY TERMS.
l. ford, Baltimore or Cecil counties, and
thoroughly instructed free of charge.
The daily intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Territory [i.e. Wash.]) 1876-1881, 1877-05-19
DAILY INTELLICEN(ER.
Saturday. May 10, 1877.

FIgE.-During the aft loon II
Thur.day the tag boat bl.kely Was 10
ticed by many Ct our citizens running
up along tho cambridge Island shore.
enveloped in cloud Of smoke, or
steam-is was quite impossible TO de-
termine which. Glasses were brought
into requisition, and some we're bold to
declare that she was actually on fire,
while the majority claimed that the
heavy exlalation was only steam.
caused by the use Of sal, water 30
the matter was dropped, when she fin
ally passed out of sight around blakely
Point. On the arrival of the steamer
from BlAkely yesterday, we learn that
the FIRE WAS real. aud not imaginary. as
many at first supposed The boat left
Blakely on Thursday for some drift
logs, that had beeu lost from = boom
sometime before in the vicinity Of Mad
ison. She had nearly reached her des-
tination. running against head wind
all the while, when fire was discovered
between the sheathing Of the pilot house.
The flames kindled up tirrcely and
soon hsd possession OF tue pilot house.
The captain. with commendsble pre-
sence Of mind, headed the boat straight
about and run before the wind Mean
while he was Obliged TO quit the pilot
house. and taking up bis position aft
steered the boat with the tackles, while
the crew were SCI TO work with the
steam pump to extlngui,h the fire
This was not done, however. until the
pilot hsuse WAS nearly OF quite de-
stroyed. the sail aud yard burst off the
mast, and q little other damage was
done Had the captain kept the boat
on her course before the wind for tive
minutes longer. instead of turning her
square about as he did at once, the
whole cabin and super structure must
certainly have been destroyed. as the
wind would have driven the flames aft
with great rapidi.y.
The daily intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Territory [i.e. Wash.]) 1876-1881, 1877-05-19

COUNTRY PRoDUcE. The produce
market has hen very dull for the past
seek. The receipts Of potatoes ffenl
tho country have been heavy. and there
has been corresponding depression in
the price. We hear, however. Of one
sale being made at the first Of the
week, of u very excellent quality OF
White river potatoes. At the old figures
Of SO cents per bashel. One firm has
sold two hundred Bushels since. in diff
ferent lots. Of = good quality Of White
river and down Sound potatoes, for 40
and 45 cents per bushel. Ii potatoes
continue TO pour in from the country
during the coming week in Is large
quantities ~ they have for the past.
they will probably 60 as low rs 50 cts.
jobbing rates. Hay remains in statH 9po,
The receipts have been light for the
past week, aud the sales small. A lot
of rather poor quality was sold at tue
first Of the week for SIS per ton. hut
the former price Of $ii has generally
been asked and received. A lot OF II
tons WAS sold yesterday. to be delivered
at q logging camp at Samish Bay fer
els per ton. Fifty bushels of onions
were sold at the first Of the week for
one aud half cents per pound. One
firm sold six tons of oats for two and
half cents per pound another firm sold
~ bashels yesterday for 90 cents per
bushel. Oats arc IN excellent demand.
and go readily at these figures. Butter.
feed aud eggs are the same In price AS
last week,
The daily intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Territory [i.e. Wash.]) 1876-1881, 1877-05-19

PREP4RISG TO RECEIVE Cs-We
clip the following from tie Victoria
Co}oajst BY letter from NJ. Levy.
our oeat,le correspondent. AMI other IL
LEGATIONS, we gather that Puget Sound
er. Will take Victoria by storm Oh the
cath inst. We can only say that they
vii receive right ROYAL welcome, an.i
IN order that there may II 10 Just con
plant Of neglect Of visitors on that &C.
casson. Ne trust tia, live" CON inittec
who will be specially charged with the
duty 81 providing for the comfort oil
the strangers will be appointed 10y the
keseita Committee. II Is particularly
desirable that the guests should be II
ior'.ed facilities OF reaching the rcgl,'s
grounds A. an carly hour in til day.
This eaa be- easily effected # Timely A.
fragments ate made by the employ
inent II one ~ two small steamers -
tow larses.
The daily intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Territory [i.e. Wash.]) 1876-1881, 1877-05-19
IMPROVEMENT or THE CPpER WHITE

IMPROVEMENT or THE CPPER WHITE
RIVERA meeting was held in the
Upper Whit river district few even
ings ago at which . large number Of
settlers from that vicinity and from
Green river were in attendance. The
object Of the meeting was To discuss
the matter Of opening the upper por-
ton Of White river to navigation. 4
number OF settlers. who had conferred
with Captain Smith. Of tho steamer
Comet. reported that the captain bad
agreed to make regular trips up the riv
or next season, with his boat. from
Alvords landing to the mouth OF Green
river. providing the settlers would clear
the distractions out OF the river sui'i
GENTLY to enable him to do SO. 1t was
therenpon decided to commence the
work Of clearing out the river imme-
diatsly so rs 10 throw it open to steam
boat navigation. The settlers on Green
and Upper White rivers will turn out
in force and do tho work up IN short
order, we learn The Green river coun-
try now contains large number OF set
tiers. and all that is required san out
let to make farming IN that section
profitable: and We believe the settlers
have now gone tn work in the right
way to secure the best possible one
The proposition heretofore entertained
Of opening u road from Green river 10
Puyallup for the purpose Of securing
an outlet. with = view TO finding . mar
ket for their produce at the Puyallup
mines aud Tacoma. WAS at best very
impracticable. With the upper por-
ton of White river opened, that stream
will he nav,gsblc for 60 miles from
this city. aud the traffic Will gradually
increase wit" each successive wear.