Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1877-01-30
What Allied Marie Ann.

was DOING comfortably In my easy
chair, and dreaming of the good times
which I hope are coming, when there
fell upon my ears q most startling
scream. 1t was the voice of my Maria
Ann in agony. The voice came from
the Kitchen, and to the kitchen rush.
ed. The idolized form of my Maria was
perched on chair, and she was -four
ishing an iron spoon in all directions,
and shouting ''shoo," in general man
ner, at everything in the room. TO my
anxious inquiries as to what was the
matter, she screamed, 80 Joshua! a
mouse, observation-disclosures great-ya,
shoo-horrid mouse, and-she-ew-it
go way-O Lord oshua-shoo-kill it,
my-shoo."
All that fuss, you see, about one little
harmless mouse Some women are so
afraid of mice. Maria is I got the po-
ker and set myself to poke that mouse.
and my wife jumped down and ran off
into another room. I foundithe mouse IN
q corner under the sink. The first time
I hit it didn't poke it any on account
of getting the poker all tangled up in a
lot of dishes in the sink, and I did not
hit it any more because mouse would
not stay still. It ran right toward me,
and l naturally jumped, as anybody
would, but am not afraid of mice. and
when the horrid thing ran up inside the
leg of my pantaloons, yelled to Maria
because was afraid it would gnaw a
hole in my garments. There is some
thing real disagreeable about having a
mouse inside the leg of ones pantaloons,
especially if there is nothing between
you and the mouse. Its toes are cold,
and its nails are scratchy, and its fur
tickles, and its tail feels Gravity, and
there is nothing pleasant about it. and
you are all the time afraid it will try to
gnaw out, and begin on you instead of
on the cloth. That mouse was next to
me. could feel its every molten with
startling and suggestive distinctness.
For these reasons yelled to Maria, and
as the case seemed urgent to me may
have yelled with certain degree of Wig
or, but deny that I yelled fire, and if
shall inflict punishment on his person.
did not lose my presence of mind
for an instant. I caught the mouse Just
as it was clambering over my knee, and
by pressing firmly on the outside Of the
cloth, 1 kept the animal prisoner on the
inside. l kept jumping around with
all my might to confuse it. SO that
it would not think about biting, and
1 yelled SO the mice would not hear
its squeaks and come to its assistance.
A man can't handle many mice at once
to advantage.
Maria was white as sheet when she
came into the kitchen and asked what
she should do-as though I could hold
a mouse and plan a campaign at the
same time I told her to think ofsome.
thing, and she thought she would throw
things at the intruder; but as there was
no earthly chance for her to hit the
mouse, while every shot took effect on
me, l told her to stop. after she had tri-
ed two flat-irons and the coal-scuttle.
She paused for breath /; but kept bobb-
ing around. Somehow felt no incli-
nation to sit down anywhere. 80
joshua" she cried, 81 wish you had not
killed the cat" Now I submit that the
wish was born of the weakness of wo-
mans intellect. How on earth did she
suppose a cat could get where that mouse
was rather have the mouse there alone,
anyway, than to have a cat providing
around after it. I reminded Maria Of
the fact that she was fool. Then she
got the kettle and wanted to scald the
mouse. Iobjected to that process, except
as last resort. Then she got some
cheese to coax the mouse down, but !
did not dare to let go, for fear it would
run up. Matters were getting desperate.
l told her to think of something else,
and kept jumping. Just as was ready
to faint with exhaustion, I tripped
over an iron, lost my hold, and the
mouse fell to the floor, very dead. !
had no idea mouse could be squeezed
to death so easy.
That was not the end of the trouble,
for before had recovered my breath q
fireman broke In one of the front win
dows, and whole company followed
him through, and they dragged hose
around, and mussed things all over the
house, and then the foreman wanted to
thrash me because the house was not on
fire, and had hardly got him pacified
before policeman came in and arrested
me. Some one had run down and told
him was drunk and was killing Maria.
1t was all Maria and could do, by com.
bini1g our eloquence, to prevent him
from marching me off in disgrace, but
we finally got matters quieted and the
house clear.
Now when mice run out of the cup
board 1 60 outdoors, and let Marie
"shoo" them back again. L can kill a
mouse, but the fun don't pay for the
trouble.