River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-04-19
An Advertising Agent.

/ We thought, from the way he came
into the office. and slammed his cane
down on the table, and took the hes
chair, and spat on the stove, and said
swell, Gully, how does the old thin.
work :" that he was a circus.agent
but his card showed him TO be mod
est, unpretending advertising agent Of
a Wisconsin paper. lie had just come
from Chicago, he said. We said "Ahr
not because there was any particular
original brilliancy in the remark, but
because that is what we generally say
with rising accent on the final sylla
BILE, when a man tells us he has beer
in Chicago. YES" he said, he haC
been 10 Chicago, "lIad we man NJ
there O. "No, we hadn't" swell,
he said, "don't send one there. Just
waste of time. I've been there nearly
three weeks, and / just club myself
every time think what fool was tt
throw away so much time that
might have put in somewhere else tC
advantage.
didn't lie do anything in ChicagoP
we asked, rather timidly, for we began
to see that we were in the presence OF
a Master Mind.
"NaW.w-w - he snarled in a most
contemptuous tone ''hardly made ex-
penses /; didn'tpa salary. There three
weeks, and only come away with
$500 worth Of ads. All cash, OF
course, and that makes it little bet.
ter, but didn't pay for all that time.
How much Chicago advertising are you
carrying I"
We couldn tell him, indeed, with
out consulting the business manager,
but we were confident that the Hawk.
Eye had, at inside figures, at least
three or four dollars worth of live Chi
cago advertisements. We begin to
think what jewel this man must be
on the business staff of a daily paper.
''Was he going to st. Louis 2" we ask
ed.
lie burst into snort OF derisive
laughter, for all the world like the
Opposition benches in Congress.
'Been there he said, land ain t
going back until times pick up a little.
Deadest place you ever saw in your
life. Nothing doing. Just nothing.
Why was there ten days-ten whole
days-as I'm a truthful man, and only
got--let me see, I'll give you the fig
ures-" and he pulled out his note
book and ran over the the leaves and
down long columns of figures-s'yes,
sir, | was in st. Louis ten days to an
hour, and only got 81, $50, and
81 .S96.75 | have to take in trade, and
only 81, $50 cash-in-advance ads.
Don't you send a man to st. Louis if
you don't want to pay his fare home. =
(Which way was he going from
BurlingtOn!" we asked. "0h, out
along the line of the b. & NJ" he said
-'Out to Omaha, and maybe out to
Lincoln, and up 10 DesAioines.
Now, don't go there" we begged
him; "d0n't go out that way at all. 1t
won't pay you; we know this country,
and we know you won't make a cent
on that trip"
"Why not!" he asked, defdntly and
in rather incredulous tone of coun-
tenance.
Because, we said, "the Hawk-Eye
had man out all through the country
one day last week. 1t may appear in
credible, but, sir, that man was gone
FIFTEEN minutes, and came back with
only $4,000 cash ads, couple of Ma
tional banks, six Nebraska farms, a
Kansas cattle.range and the Iowa
State Treasury, and the Captain dis.
charged him for not making his wages.
It's as dead "a"
But he was gone, and we heard him
downstairs asking the business man.
ager if he thought it was necessary to
import thoroughbred liar to edit his
paper.-Burlington Hawk-Eye.