The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-09-27
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

Busy shipping places arc fell of craft.
r OYSTER DEALERS first set the fashion OF
fall openings.
A LOAFER makes the best sort of fisher.
man when he is not too tired.
LAWYERS talk of malice aforethoucht.
as if a person could be malicious before
he thinks.
"MY note for ninety days" is another
disease that is crippling our beloved land.
Chicago Journal.
OCCASIONALLY man makes himself
known by jumping off from the Niagara
suspension bridge.
"HE who works upon the soil seems as
happy as bird; he who works under the
soil is as miserable as worm"
IT takes all the enjoyment out of q
game of croquet to hear it called " an
amusement within the reach of the fee.
blest intellect"
TRE influence of Boston is felt through.
out the civilized world. She is now ship
ping canned baked beans to every city
which has book stOre.-N. o. PicMvuns.
"HoME's the place for boys" said q
stern parent to his son, who was fond of
going out at night. That's Just what
think when you drive me of to school
every morning." said the son.
WHEN the sluggard asked Solomon, in
q time of great commercial depression,
what he should do, and Solomon told him
to 60 to the ant, he didn't seem to like the
ant, sir.-Csmeinnati Satu' day Night.
DECISIONS of the Courts of both OhD
and Indiana declare Utah divorces invalid.
AS great business has been done in thc2
divorces, in Chicago and elsewhere, /
looks as if there might be q social up
heaval presently.
A JUROR in San Francisco, wearied by
the cross-examination of witness, called
the Clerk of the court to him, and whi&
percd into his ear: You tell the judge
not to allow the lawyer to ask those ques-
tons or I'll leave the box"
AN old farmer, on being asked why a
peacock that was strutting through the
yard was like figure 0, couldn't see the
resemblance; but light broke in on him
when he was told that it was because it
was nothing without its tail.
EUROPEAN POstmastcrs, seeing ''esQuire''
written after the address upon letters, not
knowing the American habit, keep the let
ter till MIR. Esquire calls for it. Nlw you
may go on writing esquire" if you
choose to.-BostOA Attoertiser.
A PHrIOsOPnIC Benedict says: To be
nagged at and blown up by a beautiful
being of your own, who loves you all the
while like apple pie, and whom you love
like plum pudding, is, to my idea, the
happiest privilege of matrimony."
A VIRGINIA Circuit Judge has decided
that the statutory waiver Of the Home
stead law of that State is unconstitutional.
A Virginia writer calls this startling de-
cision, inasmuch as the waiver" is in
corpOrated into all written obi =. ions for
the payment of money; is relied N by all
obligees. and is basis of credi'.
A YOUNG san franciscan lover offered
to pay Police-Justice ten dollars and
vote for him at the next election, if the
worthy Magistrate would 60 with him and
be introduced to his Qhe lover's) sweet
heart. He wished to impress her and hel
family with realizing sense of his faniil.
iarity with the great ones of the earth.
One of the candidates for admission ia
the Hartford High School, the other day,
was troubled to find an answer to the
question on the blank forms to be filled
by the applicant for admission of what
was his fathers business. He asked the
teacher for assistance. "Why," said the
teacher, "write what he does mostly for a
living" When the papers were collected
it was found that he had answered
the question by writing Deacon of a
church."
"WHY don't so into the country ~
said the tramp, gazing with scorn at his
heartless interrogator-"w why, amt it
harvest time? Them farmers are lust
mean and small-souled enough to ak a
man to work for his victuals. Do you
suppose want to have the back of NV
neck all blistered up, and my hands stuck
full of thistles, and like as not get mashed
in threshing- machine? And, beside,
never could eat fried pork and hot biscuit
all the time. It amt healthy"
SHE was ironing, when her sister came
in with the news that an uncle was dead.
"Deadp she gasped, nearly dropping the
iron from her hand. Her face was very
pale, as was that of her sister, as they
both stood there, looking at each other
with that awe-struck expression which q
death leaves upon the faces of the living.
"Dead" she repeated, in . faltering
voice. ut doesn't seem possible. 1t is
80 sudden, SO unexpected, 80 dreadful,
that can scarcely realize it. What arc
you going I'd wear :'-Dan' ury Nescs.
The San Diego (Cal.) World says: "San
Diego has a young gentleman Geographic
operator, who, after repeated calls for a
young lady operator in another office, at
last got q respOnse, ami .iien, click, click,
click fortissimo), he telegraphed back to
her vehemently: have been trying to
for t1nx, lost I'm ho,,rH Il ,,,n
ment the following spicy reply came trip
ping back 10 him over The wires from the
Geographic maiden: That's nothing
there is q young man here who has been
trying to do the same thing for the last
two years, and he hasn't got me yet.'"
A COUPLE of days ago, as young and
unsuspectiDg- locking man was in one Of
our city banks, counting over $4,000
package of currency which he had just
drawn out, he was approached by couple
of gentlemen of severely intellectual de-
velopments, one of whom said affably, I"
beg your pardon, sir, but you have
dropped $40 bill.'' Looking down,
that unsuspicious- looking young man did
indeed behold q $40 bill lying ON the
floor at his feet. Did he sto0p down to
pick it up and give those two Intellectual
looking strangers chance TO grab at and
get away with his $6,O0O of currency
Not much he didn't. He just put his foot
down on that SO bill, and. said, "Oh,
thanks" and then remarked to the pay
ing teller, Billy, just call q policeman -
In three seconds two severely intellectual
looking young gentlemen were to be seen
going along Clark street different ways,
and that calm young man was $40 ahead.
Honesty is the best policy.-Chicago Trt6.
MnS.
Black Bills Road Agents.
Ervr etrNnUora vnOa,ntod IN fhnrO,, a,