Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1877-06-18
A Hard Joke.

Sam Ormsby was jolly good fellow,
his maxim was laugh and grow fat; he
enjoyed his pipe and good joke.
The town in which he lived was no.
ted for nothing in particular, excepting
its large number of pretty women who
were very fond of gossiping; and Sam
knew this very we'll. He was not a
member of the church, yet he seldom
ever let Sabbath pass without attend
ing devine worship and listening to the
gospel truth from the lips of Elder
Lamb.
Being man of good morals and
sound judgment, his word had more in
fuence than any other mans in town
no wonder, then, that he was called
Brother Ormsby by the most of the
town people.
One cold day in March, our friend
! Sam had been to one of the neighboring
towns on business, and as he was re-
turning, he refined up to the house Of
Deacon Jones for the purpose of calling
in and having chat with the deacon and
his wife, and test the quality of his ci-
der, of which the deacon had abund-
ance.
But when he came is sight of the
yard he was not little surprised to
find the deacon, and his wife earnestly
engaged at, so instead of alighting,
he put spurs to his horse and rode on.
The smile which fitted across his coun-
tenance surely meant something.
He rode on until he came to small
lone house that stood by the wayside,
where there lived buxom widow of
forty-fve.
Mrs. Briggs, being very good looking
and sociable, it was a custom with the
towns people (the masculines) when
they were passing, to call on sister
Briggs.
Brother ormsby. although bachelor
was not an exception.
Having hitched his horse to the fence
and assuming -begone and sorrow
full appearance, he entered the house
and took a seat by the fire, opposite the
window, whose nimble fingers were fast
adding to the number of stitches in a
stocking which had already assumed
both its shape and size. After a few
commonplace remarks, he remained 81
lent, not even raising his eyes to meet
the inquiring glance of sister Briggs.
Thinking he was all chilled through
with long ride in the cold, she tried
f fp ( lkSesSg up the. conversation by asking
rode very far, would he like a cup Of
hot tea? But to all of the anxious in.
quiries he remained silent or made
evasive answers.
Being satisfied that something un
usual was the matter, she was determ
ined to know what it was. Lying dowr
her knitting work, she approached th'
chair and laying her hand on his shoul
der, she said:
Brother Ormsby, tell me, what i
the matter? You look as if you hadn'
friend on earth. What ails you? ?"
Without looking up, Sam, in yer.
faint voice, said
"Sister Briggs, don't ask me, for
am sad at heart; have seen something
which"
"Why, brother Ormsby, what is it %
~ could not believe it." continue,
Sam, without taking notice of the in
terruption, ''unless had seen it my
SELF"
"Why, for PHYS sake, what is it
Do tell me ~ said the widow in plead
ing tone.
But Sam shook his head, saying
"No l must not tell it to anyone. ]
is a secret which 1 must keep With
my own breast"
"You can tell me- said the widow
"I'll never mention it to any livin
person"
NO." said Sam, cit is better that n
one but myself should know it, for
might cause some trouble if it was foun
out"
"Now. brother Qrmsby," said siste
Briggs, looking confidential, 'yOu mus
tell me what it is; l must know. Yo
need not be afraid of me, for I'll nc
mention the first word to any one
we'll keep the secret between ourselves.
"Well," said Sam, sinking his voic
to almost whisper, "as was comm
past the deacon's Just now, | saw th
deacon and his wife both pulling hair
"Why, brother Ormsby, it can't /
, true p said the astonished widow.
r True, every word" said the impel
turbable Sam; "both of them were pul
|, ing hair like the very d"
= Cant be possible !" said the widow
crossing her hands on her breast an
rolling her eyes upwards, she sank int
e chair and commenced vigorous fal
r ming with her apron All at once 81
; exclaimed:
; Brother Ormsby, Ill never speak
r them again as long as | live, so there