The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-04-13
WHAT THE WITS SAY.

Parson Brownlow has congratulated a.
ex-confederate, and isn't expected to live
Boston Post.
Hunted Down you will see it on an,
young man who is just beginning to raise al
incipient mustache. Free Press.
There is one advantage in being mule
he don't have to tie his tail into a hard
knot to keep 1t out Of the mud .-Hartford
Clarion.
1t is now MIR. Hayes turn to ask, cam /
a Vassal or q peer ?'-Tribune. HAYES
doesn't ap-peer to vassalate much, what.
ever he be.-PueE.
1t is proposed to present the new secre-
tary OF the Treasury with a silver tea-set
Wouldn't Sherman silver set be more ap-
propriate ?-It1ustrated Weekly.
The loudest claimant to the ST. Louis
post-office is Phoebe Cozzens; but Hayes
doesn't appoint cousins to Office Worces-
ter Press.
A man out near oswego has got into
old and he was nearly forty.-Ronse senti-
ne1
The N. Y. Commercial Adgertiser says it
must have been fun to see the outgoing
Zach. and the incoming Carl shaking
hands and weeping in the In-tear-ior De-
partment.
The sweet shad fly, beautiful harbinger
of spring, comes forth from his terrestrial
loophole, puts his antenne on his nose,
balances to partners and waltzes back
again.--N. 7. Herald.
Worried mothers may be interested in
learning that the shingle cure is the best
remedy for boy whose tooth begins to
ache about fifteen minutes before school
time.-Haoksye.
We had little Spitz pup once
We gave our tears and prayers.
But policeman hit him in the back of the neck,
Ard now he is closed for repairs.
Gone to merge with the spring sausage.
Hartford Post.
The smallest eggs, according to scien-
tist, are laid in Wisconsin. Yes, by Jove
and few in hill.-Rochester Democrat. A
man who will lay himself out to hatch such
a Joke as that ought to be set on.-N. 7.
Herald. .....
Sankey, while in Boston, stops at the
Hotel Brunswick. A pretty tune they must
charge hymn.--Cons. Aduertissr. Perhaps
he boards there on time.-Nor. Herald. OF
course everybody in Boston takes his notes.
st. Louis Republican. 1t would be base
to charge him treble.
In the spring the gentle nin sharpens up his scalp
ing knife,
And the Mormon aphrodisicaliy takes another wife;
In the spring the paragrapher whittles up number
And the poet starts q sonnet with the everlasting
"Beau-" Free Press.
Leap year is we'll over; and the bashful
young man out ON West Hill, who hid from
the girls in abject terror all the year through
crept out last week, and in moment of re-
gretful depression, that nobody had found
him, married his washerwoman. n.-Burliag-
ton Hawkeys.
"When do you expect to return to your
beautiful Island City home," we asked a
Galveston drummer. 81 was going to
leave yesterday" was the reply, but
found place where St. Louis beer is only
Eve cents glass, and now | don't know
any more than you do when I'm going to
laava ,'-Saa Aufonia HerHIH
Julius Caesar was terribly afflicted with
boils at one time, and when asked how he
accounted for them he proudly replied
"To the victor belong these boils.."' This
may be relied upon as the true origin of
this famous expression. We had it from
an intimate friend Of Cnsar's, who now
runs q hand express. Cincinnati Saturday
N2GIt