The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-06-26

Jonah il one Of the first men men,
toned who we're brought to the surface
by internal disturbances.
The San Franciscan who had his
ears cuf.ed by Sol,lene is n" longer in
favor of the ballot box.
Two indianapolis musicians had q |
foot race the other day. The one who |
wasn't armed with q horsewhip outran
tine other.
-"Iook affair" he remarked to the
waiter, "your coffee Is q. X; your
hash is about correct, but amt your
eggs a little too ripe!"
The rage Of yellow trimming
makes lovely women often look As
though somebody had slapped her on
top Of the head with q har,l fried egg.
The roar Of cannon is beginning
to he heard from Bat-oum to the base
Of the Balkan Mountains. and the
Turks will soon be going out on the fly.
Portland had an old woman VIII"
was killed in he'd by falling plaster.
Her fate was Of her own ceiling
| (Puck. And it was real mortar-hying
wasn't il?
High water again in the Danube.
but il the Russians were Yankees
thereI have been a dozen lines Of pom
toons from hank to hank a month ago.
1t is probably some satisfaction to
a mule to know that while he can not
soar as high as the lark. he can sing
Just rs loud, and kick very much sorer.
When one man can force another to
quit work and let his family suffer. and
will kill him If he doesen't quit. it i
high time that somebody began to
build gallows.
Hunting vests are added to the
jaun,y suits made for watering places.
They are worn with long half tight it,
ting jackets. and are made long with
Flap packets. generally in some striped
material.
! 1t doesn't do a bit Of good to 60 to
n picnic aud stand On the river hank
AMI admire the gorgeous sunset and
talk about the tender beauties Of ma
iure Ia a man who has just sat down on
a custard pie.
Silk stockings, to he worn with
low slippers. have designs initiating
colore,l ribbons crossing the instep and
continuing above the ankle, where they
end in a knot. These should be called
'.Malvolice."
Mrs. Spilkins allowed her dear lit
let youngest by to go To Sunday
school for the first time. alone. The
precious little cherub came home about
two hours later with bran new cate.
chism and black eye.
An old lady sleeping during di
vine service in church let fall Bihlt
with clasps to it. and, the noise partly
awakening her, exclaimed aloud
"What! you've broke another Jug
have you:"
I'll am surprised. deacon" said thu
pastor, "to learn that you Of all mer
should have been seen at the wicked
!. Aimee performance" "Well, you see
sir, l got a dead-head ticket, and
thought it my duty to go and keeT
somebody else out Of q seat who might
have been harmed by the exhibition.
-Low-neck dresses are not worn by
young ladies. Married ladies'
may, when they have hand
some necks. uncover them, but the ex
hibition. unless handsome, IS prohibited
by canons Of taste. Brides wear theil
dresses higher than eyer. close VI
around their threats, and with thicl
rouchings outside Of laced ones.
The delay Of the Grand Duke
Nicholas IL crosss the Danube VA
owing chiefly to his passionate fond
ness for fishing. II was only when
Adhem Pasha sent body of cavalry
to destroy his rods and lines that the
Duke remembered that he represented
the sacred mission Of Russia, and start
ell oil to help the Christians skin Turks.
Just about this time very many peo'
pie are bothering their heads to deter
mine where on earth they shall go in
search Of their summer vacation and
rest. To such We would commend
what Shakespeare says:
i All pis-e- that the eye 1T heaven visits
Arr. to y wise man. Pori> AMI happy haysn-.
! Did you ever see dairless poodle
hog? Not exactly this, either, but .
pairless doodle-pog. or rather hairless
,loodle-pog, or more properly dogless
! poalle-hair. or more strictly speaking
a poodles doggle-hair, or more elegant
~ translating. a poodless hoggie-dair.