The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1877-08-29
Donahue's Dilcnlma.

the clutches OF 4 rtlral mlnlon oi aesPotie"
who wears the gaudy UNIFORM OF county
sheriff: but as soon rs he regains DIS i.ece
dom he intends to abandon the neio Oh riov
ing and 10 devote himSeH 10 TIC o"sihcss "
editing newspaper. ,.,,
There is unouestionablY no more loath-
sone capitalist than the average editor.
Every Intelligent rioter knows that the
editor never does Il particle OF work. lie
simnly sits in an office few hours during
the dav, reads a newspaper or two, con-
verses pleasantly with his visitors and
draws an enormous salary, upon which nc
lives in demoralizing luxury. AS for work
ine. or, in other words, doing or pretending
to do something with spade, hammer, or
an axe, he is altogether too proud to DO any
thing OF the kind. He il, in short, social
PARASITE, who rohs the rioters OF the wealth
which the labor OF their hands produces,
and squanders it in the qualification OF his
aristocratic instincts. That he Is capital
list is as notorious as that he is not WORK,
ingn,an. His .ill-gotten and colossal
wea,th-tbat is to say, such OF it rs he does
not seltishlv sQuander-is the sole object OF
his affections. What is it to him II the
rioter staryes upon half rations OF whiskey
and has no time to practice upon the piano?
By nature and by virtue OF his circum-
stances he is the foe OF every man who
riots. and should be hated and despsed ac-
cordngly. -
That Mr.. Donahuc, rioter, who rioted
with great diligence In order to so improve
the finances OF the Erie road by destroying
its property rs to enable it to pay higher
rates of wages, should voluntarily lay down
his club and become o bloated editor, can
hardly fail to surprise his fellow-rioters.
Their respect for him must necessarily
vanish, and they must hereafter look upon
him as renegade and an enemy. Mr..
Donahue, rs the editor OF his contemplated
journal, will, OF course, never do any more
rioto,Is work. He will be like all other
editors, and will care for nothing but his
eyorbitant salary. When his old comrades
call at his office-in case they should con-
descend to notice hm-tbey will find him
dressed in kid gloves and new hat, en-
gagged in smoking a costly cigar and reading
one of the organs OF capital. He may ut
first make hollow pretence OF retaining
his old love for rioting, but his life OF sy-
baritic luxury must inevitably lower his
moral tone. He will soon purchase out OF
the surplus OF his salary magnificent
brownstone house, and will turn deaf ear to
the earnest rioters who may urge him to burn
it down. The day Mr.. Donahue becomes an
editor he will be simply detestable CAPT
talist, and will join with all other capitalists
in their determination to- make negro slaves
of the workingmen.
1t is only fair to say that it is rumored
that Mr.. Donahue intends to remain rioter
even after he becomes an editor and to con-
duct his paper upon strictly riotous prlncl-
Dles. Those who believe this rumor assert !
that his journal will be forced into circula-
ton by processes analogous to those by
which he has hitherto endeavored to raise |
the wages OF brakemeD and engineers. II
it is proper to create riot in order to
induce capitalists to pay Mr.. Donahue
an increase OF wages when working on |
railroad, it is clearly proper for that |
gentleman to create riotsx in order to |
compel other capitalists to pay him for
his paper. He will therefore canvass |
for subscribers at the head OF mob. and !
will give the public the choice OF either |
buying his paper or having their ill-gotten
houses burned over their miserable heads. !
From time to time be will announce. that
the price of his paper is to be immediately
increased; and will send notifications, orna-
mented with drawings OF Collins and
death.heads, to his old subscribers, re-
curing them - to pay the additional
price OF to prepare for immediate bu-
rial. When he issues an extra blood will
certainly flow. The casual capitalist who
meets a mob of a thousand desperate news
boys carrying Mr.. Donahue's extra, and
demanding fifty cents copy or blood, Will
usually compromise" by paying the full
sum demanded; but occasionally some par
ticularly obstinate capitalist will refuse to
accede to the demand, and will call upon
the authorities to protect him. Neverthe-
less, as Mr. Donahue asserts, the capitalists
are in a small minority, and the moment
they see that their enemies are banded to-
gether they will hasten to surrender and to
buy unlimited extras at enormous prices.
While thus conducting his paper like a
true and earnest rioter. Mr.. Donahuc-so
his apologists insist-will scrupulously re-
spect the wishes OF all who work under
him. When his compositors strike, as they
NAV naturally, under; the circumstances, be
expected to do at least three times week,
he will instantly pay then, whatever they
may ask There ia no principle dearer to
him-if we may believe his professions
than the sacred right ct the employed to
strike for precisely such wages as they may
think proper; and there Is no crime which
he regards as worse than q refusal to yield
on the part Of employers. Hence he will
be onlv, too glad to have his compositors
constantly striking for increased pay, and
will doubtless nope that their example will !
stimulate his. sub-editors and reporters to;
do likewise. The more riotous his strikers
may be, and the more often they may break
his windows and burnadown his Office, the |
better will he be pleased at their hearty !
adoption OF his pet principle Of political |
economy. Thus Mr.. Donahue will find his
editorial life a gay round OF riots and strikes,
and If he is not happy it will be because he
loses faith In his own creed. - a.
It does seem as II a paper conducted after
this fashion would fail to become success,
full. AT any rate, It will be an entirely new
experiment. and timid zen will look upon
it with considerable doubt. And yet either
Mr.. Donahue must manage his paper in ac-,
cordance with the doctrines which he has |
hitherto protested, or he must become as
bloated, as loathsome, and as much OF a CAPT
talist IS arei Other editors.-Nete' Yerkif
A ieud between two baybers, futile and
Bingham, in South Boston, has ended In |
nonsense and igunpowder, but not in blood. |
They met last Wednesday night at City
Point by the light OF the moon. Fifty PET
sons were on the ground; seconds were |
chosen; the principals doFed hats and |
coats; the distance was marked of, and the |
duellists stood face to face, when it was dis
covered that the weapons had been forgot