The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1877-02-03
VARIETY.

VARIETY.
The Rochester Democrat has discovered tha
.'the American eagle knows not where to lay it,
egg" ~ stfE4
al don't believe in fashionable churches, ,
said lady, recently "but after all, consider
ing that we all go to the same Heaven, perhaps
it's better to keep up the social distinction as
long as we can"
A lady who assumed to know how boys ought
to be trained, writes as follows: 'Oh, mothers!
hunt out the soft. tender, genial side of your
boys nature" Mothers often do-with an
old shoe.
When rich man speaketh every man hold
eth his tongue and looks. What he sayeth they
extoI it to the clouds; but If the Door man speak,
they say: What fellow is this and il he STUN
BILE, they will help to overthrow him.
An experienced lady observes that good way
to pick out n husband is to see how patiently
the man waits for dinner when it is behind
time. Her. husband remarks that good way to
pick out wife is to see whether the woman has
the dinner ready in time.
s'Mrs. Cox, declare your machines are the
worst ever sawl There's not even looking
glass;" Proprietor Of Bathing Machine
SWhy, Miss if there was looking glasses we
shouldn't get you ladies out of them ere ma
chimes for hOwers and howers. 5.saF5ass
NEW ESoLAND = 50 p
"Yet her rocks, and on her sands.
And Wintry hills the schooI-house stands;
4s. AHd hs41e. San as5 lsssS s inS si aGpPss 1
The riches of the Commonwealth
Are free, strong minds and hearts of health as
The cunning hand and cultured brain" ..
The good old days are dead and gone; the
rich eoloring has faded out Of the warp and
woof OF the past, and yet we still rejoice that
it is still true that pretty woman can not ride
by her lovers side through tunnel without
emerging in hat that looks as if it had been
struck by lightning. 3'.st Aiita IJi'O-
The laws delays are simply dreadful. 1.-The
senate,'' sagely says the Burlington Hawkeye,
''acted wisely in deciding not to let the United
States Supreme court, count the electoral vote.
That august body would have docketed the matter,
and by the time it got to it, for action, all the
present candidates would be dead.
The Atlanta Constitution tells of a negro
snoring so loudly behind fence that two other
negroes, hearing the noise, and seeing his mas
sige feet indistinctly outlined, thouht he was a
bear growing. They got gun and filed his
feet with buckshot before the mistake was dis
covered.
In the hard-drinking days an old Scotch laird
and hiss eliest son were riding home together
from q hotpitaDle gathering. Their ride for a
while was silent, but at last the son said, "Fey-
ther, / wish ye was deid.' The old man rather
sadly replied, s'Weel, laddie, hae aften thought
that of my feyther, but never hae the impu
dence TO say't." ... ....-ss
CHICAGO Journal: After seeing two doctors
hang around over a man for four hours and use a
gallon of mixed ehloreforn and ether, trying to
get him to sleep that they may saw his leg off, it
grows more aud more a mystery to us how a.
robber can come in and clap a little two-by-four
sponge saturated witt, chloroform over clerks
nose, and steal q whole bank slick and clean in
less than seven minutes. es- ga .1ra :
Bangor Wing In Augusta the Rev. III. w.
Tilden is pastor Of the Baptist Church, and is
highly esteemed. especially among the children of
his parishioners Recently little fye-year-old
boy, who is a Republican true-blue and thinks
very much of the clergyman, was about to retire,
and closed mp his bedtime prayer with Z" 0
Lord, bless father and mother, and bless Mr. Til
den o Lord, you know which one mean.
A gentleman was riding on stage coach down
in Maine, when the driver looking ahead offered
to bet that a man who was walking along was
Democrat. The gentleman, who was near sighted,
took the bet. As they approached the man the
driver drew up his horses, and the gentleman
saw that the fellow was intoxicated. Look
here, old fellow said the driver. IS Amt you
a Democrat ?'' The intoxicated individual stag
gered up against the wall, and after rolling his
ewes around exclaimed I've (hicl got all the
(hic) symptoms of Democrat, (hic) but I'm
(hic) Black Republican. s....a4..ie
'The MULE by Martin F. T-p-p-r, from the
Boston Globe
Who have q mule die!
vision of man encompassed his last legs
Nxy my boy. for the mule is immortal!
tsEeth fresh hold for twenty thousand,
Such is grandeur, greatness the
animile. He is big thing
Why is he a thing big -.--.-.
Thou the ant and consider. -
He Is big because he is not little and
Biguess differeth from Heness the dea dfereth
from the barn-door.
Be wise, man, pad thy skull with knowledge, and
wisdom Of me, the poet Of the obvious 4 ~ :
NEWSPAPER WoRK.-A contributor TO one of
our best periodicals has written as follows of the
burdens of journalists. and it Is all true g 1t is
one Of the hardships of our profession that its
working wheels-brain and heart-are not al
lowed to lag for sickness, to stop for calamity
or sorrow. The judge may adjourn his court,
the school and workshop may close shutters, the
mourner may veil his features and turn friend
and stranger from the door; but the journalist
must forget before tomorrow the sorrows of to-
day, must write gaily and freshly, as a news
monger, on the trihes of the hour, whatever
burden has been laid upon that same hour by
Providence or on his brains as man. It some
times tries and racks, as the world that reads
what is thus written would never dream of. The
public look upon an editors Iabors as the Indian
did upon the man that was cutting hay he
finally gave it his opinion that it was easy to
see the white man NOW"