The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-12-29
Sanscript's Rice.


Sanscript's Rice.
When John Sanscript went down
town last Saturday his wife asked him
to bring back with him small duanti-
ty of rice.
"How much will you have?" asked
the grocer, when John called for the
succulent berry.
"Well, l guess ten pounds'll do"
said John. "rll get enough to last
several weeks" he added, somewhat
doubtingly.
The grocer hesitated, looked quizzi-
cal, and finally weighed out the ten
pounds of rice.
This is a new kind of rice, Mr.. San
script" he said, as he put string
around the paper. at swells three
times as much as Louisiana rice, which
you had better tell your wife,
I. g All right" said John, as he turned
Atovgraet a friend. Two minRtes later
he had forgotten the reminder of''f 4e
careful grocer,
When he got home John found the
house deserted, but humming fire was
roaring in the kitchen stove, and he
knew Mrs. S. had just stepped into the
next house to exchange gossip with
Mrs. Mulvaney.
I'm just put this rice to boil" solil-
oquized John. "It'll please the dame
to see me so thoughtful, and maybe
she'll get me good supper"
An ordinary iron pot with several
pints Of water in it sat on the stove.
"Tl bet six cents Maria put this very
pot Oh the fire for the purpose of boil
ing the fruit"
He tore hole in the paper package
and enptied the ten pounds of rice into
the vessel.
That's pretty full, but the rice has
plenty of room to jump about. I'll just
step over to the meat store and buy a
porter-house steak"
AS John approached the house, on
his return with the meat, he began to
sniff the air.
q smell something burning. Won
der if that rice had water enough on it. -
He hurried into the kitchen, and
what sight was spread before his eyes!
The stove was covered with rice. The
sides of the pot were full of rice. Rice
was dripping down upon the floor. The
cat was sitting under the table licking
rice from its back. The grains of rice
were chasing each other over the pot S
rim like so many ants, and for every
one that dropped upon the stove twenty
more seemed to rise up and take its
place.
"Heavens! what a pickle,'' cried
John. "rll have'to use the other pot. "
But the other pots capacity was not
enough. For every tinful of the rice
John dipped out of one pot into the
other two tinfuls of rice seemed to Jump
to the surface. In less than minute
both pots were slipping streams of slip
perry grains upon the stove.
Hang it! I'll fixit wheezed the des-
perate man, getting out the wash-boiler
and slamming it on the stove.
Then he began to dip again, first
out of one pot, then out of the other,
into the wash-boiler. 1t was like bail
ing out the seattle more rice he took
out of the pots the faster the grains
seemed to slide down on the stove.
''lit'uSo VI bNliiCIll l'os plCSCI VIC llC'
This exclamation was drowned out
by the discovery that the boiler was
full, and also running over Then San
script surrendered. He wiped his
moistened brow with the dish-towel,
and sat down to gather his breath
Meanwhile the rice continued to swell
and make room for the lower grains,
until the stove and floor were covered
an inch thick. At last the fire in the
stove was extinguished, but still the
rice kept creeping and swelling. When
Mrs. Sanscript finished her chat with
Mrs. Mulvaney and returned to her
kitchen she found wretched man try
ing to lift from the stove a wash-boiler
full of rice, which refused TO quit boil
ing over. Poor John is suffering for
his ignorance. He has had nothing
since then to eat but rice, and Mrs. San
script swears by her back hair that
shell II cook him nothing but rice till the
ten pounds are consumed, which, the
victim has calculated, will be some time
the last of next March. Cincinnati En-
g,ltrer.