West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1877-10-20
EVERYDAY SPICERIES.

FIVE aces were developed i'm game
of poker ut Waco, Texas, between Jack
Smith and Ono-eyed Jim. The Coroner
is proceeding with his duties as referee.
A SICK man in New Orleans was told
by the doctor that nothing would save
him except II quart of catnip tea.
Then | must die, said the poor man,
for don't hold but pint"
IT makes boy heart-sick as the win
ter's wood begins To loom up i'm steadily
growing piles in the back yard. and he
sees his mother making preparations for
organizing him into "a workingman's
party"
The summers breath Is faint upon the hills
Her feet are weary In the wales and woods,
And autumn with drowsy incense fills
The hooks aud glades and leay solitudcs
Soft the grassy bank the sunshine sleeps;
The air wealth of misty radiance holds;
Nature with dreamy cycs her vigil keeps
Ana all tho scene In pcnsiyc beauty folds
MODEL wife: She never wasted
solitary thing. Let II cat die around our
house, and the first thing you know
Mary Jane ii have mulf and n set of
furs, and I'd begin To find mince pies on
the dinner table.
TO hear an English doctor remark that
he never knew fool TO have cold in
his head. How's your nose, neighb bor2
- Detroit Ere Press Never had
worse case than now.--Nccark CdH
Two tramps stopped at the house of
lone widow, and one went in to beg.
Very soon he came out with black
eye. "Wcll, did you get anything,
Jack ?' asked the other "Ycs," growled
the poor sufferer, /" got the widows
might"
NEIGHBoRLY.-"C n'tsiop a minute
baby's crying but Just ran over to tell
you that Mrs. Jones's husband came
home moment ago just as tight as
he could be. Only think Must CO.
knew you were not at the window 10 see
him get home. Awful Goodbye, love-.
A MAJOR i'm the United States army
was crossing from England in one of
the Cunard steamers, when one after
noon a band on deck played Yankee
Doodle" A grun Englishman, who
stood by, inquired whether that was the
tune the old cow died Of Not at all"
retorted the major, that is the tune
the old Bull died Of"
MAMMA (wbo has been quietly watch
ing certain surreptitious proccedings)--
" Willie, who helped you TO the cakeT
Willie ptly)-llebben, mamma"
Mamma (sternly) -'' Sh-sh-sh, you
naughty boy now dare you tell such
stories" Willie-"1aint my fault if
it is tory, ma. Didn't pa tell bcgger-
man zat hebbcn helped chose zat helped
zemselves"
A MAN picked up purse in the street
one day, and advertised the fact. In
ten days nc was visited by sixty-one
men, women, boys and girls, all claim
ing TO have lost money. The sum found
was but eleven dollars; but of each Wis
itor who called, the finder asked $50
you lost fifty dollars, did your Nine
tenths Of the applicants promptly re-
piled, " Yes, sir"
THERE is always room for man of
force, and he makes room for many.
Society is a group Of thinkers, and the
best heads among them take the best
places. A feeble man can sec the farms
that are fenced and titled, and the houses
that are built. The strong man sees the
possible houses and farms. His eye
makes estates as fast as the sun breeds
clouds.
RBINEBECR Gdzcttc: Summer, with
all it's pleasures is fast fading. What is
there equal to a summer afternoon
We enjoy them ever so much. We
take our paper and 90 off i'm the quiet
fields and lie beneath the cool shade of
an evergreen tree. And when the
drowsy god o'ercomes u.s. we lie on our
back and dream the happy hours away
until n garter snake crawls on our chin
and reminds us that this world is real
in everything pertaining to il.