Mexico weekly ledger., 1877-02-15
HOW TO BEHAVE IN THE SUM
MER.
CONCLUDED.

when you give a dinner 10 the poor.
If is fashionable and economical.
The prettiest sight on earth is a
sweet young girl in a c%herry-tree.
Moral--Get married as Dol as you
can.
If you meet a stra nge lady at fer
~. respectfully ask her to hang her
chin over your shoulder, then wade
in.
Some people are SO fastidious as to
their outward appearance that they
forget to renovate their spiritual
drapery.
1t is a mark of ill-breeding to eat
onions while playing on your neigh
boris flute. Moral-Music will not
boil the pot.
When ones mother-in-law has
twins it is not polite to send her
tickets to Il circus. Moral-Don't
fool with q buZZ-Saw.
Nothing is more beautiful than a
young girl trying to tame a mule with
a croquet mallet. Moral-Don't
make an ass of yourself.
Never kiss a lady at a party. 1t
will make the others jealous and cause
your landlady to foreclose the mort
gage on your trunk.
Short stove wood and clean shirts
are among the Lost Arts of the do
mestic tire-side. Moral-keep your
mouth shut at a funeral.
Always make a mental memoranda
of any faults you can discover i'll a
friend, and if you do not find any,
call sler narrow minded.
The politest man is the waiter who
sees a counterfeit half dollar under
the rim ofyour plate. Moral-don't
tamper with the currency.
Never take a watermelon out Of
your month while eating it. Better
choke than let your company see
what You eat for breakfast.
Never eat cheese with your mouth.
Bite off a small piece with a fork
and swallow the fork. Moral-You
can't compete with a brass band.
A lady will never breathe in the
presence of company. Such vulgar
habits should be practiced if at all
only after the guests have departed.
In good society one should not al
low the food to touch the lips or
tongue. We chew with our teeth,
kiss with our lips. and lie with our
tongue.
Most Of the New York car conduc-
tors have lost their thumbs since the
ladies have taken to wearing steel
traps between their shoulder blades.
If you wish to make a man angry,
say that you wish you could tell him
what your wife said after his last visit.
Moral-Tigers never play chess.
1t is so sickly in Arkansas that
blue pills are put down on the bills Of
fare at all the leading hotels. Moral
Never tell a lie when the truth is
handy.
1t is exceedingly impolite to say q
clever thing at a fashionable dinner.
But if you should happen to do 50,
apologize Immediately and leave the
table.
A young lady should never stretch
out her feet in company unless she
wishes to mutilate a passing cock
roach. Moral-Too many chickes
spoil the broth.
The winds blow 50 hard in Colora-
do that lovers chain themselves to a
Tree before they begin courtShhp.
Moral-''A bird in hand is worth two
in the BUSH
In visiting a stranger for the first
time never put your overshoes on the
piano. The varnish will destroy the
adhesive qualities in the india rubber
and ruin the shoes.
Never eat with q knife. All the
great men of the world, such as Mos
es, Napoleon and Lincoln, ate with a
fork. Moral-Locusts and wild
honey were made before cutlery was
invented.
Buckshot and watermelons have
Olaua6 on imnortont mart in tho lives