Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1877-08-16
Hu7,lOr.

| IL SSSICOSs
d Texas has a jackass with three ears, but
he declines 10 be interviewed.
: An agricultural journal says that potas
u toes should be boiled in cold water.
y "Our children will have immense tat
4 on their hands" SAID gentleman. "Oh,
HORRIBLE" exclaimed an elderly lady:
"What blessing we have nails on ours! ~
A belle just from Vasssr College. when
y told by the restaurant waiter tina: they
, had no goossberries, exclaimed: "What
has happened TO the goose9" The waitsf
: wilted.
A Pacific slope Indian was pleased by
r his Introduction to a galva tic battery;
S though it doubled him all up. Because,
: as he remarked to his squaw: ''Me buy
'em one for you; knock spots out of you,
spose you no good woman. You sabe me;
( Mrs. Jim."
, One of the disad vautages Of serenading
: these nights, when the window has 10 be
; kept open, is that just as the singers
il. have got down to pianissimo, the party
e serenaded may startle the harmony of tho
occasion by suddenly awakening, and;
D with kick at the bedpost, cry out: "f
co wish these confounded things would
: not bite so.'
! ''But I pass" said minister in Philas
delphia, one Sunday, in dismssing one
theme OF his subject to take up another.
-I"Then make it spades!" yelled q man
from the gallery, who was dreaming the
y happy hours away in an imaginary game
of cuchre. 1t is needless to say that he
;. went out on the next deal, being assisted
II by one Of the deaccns with full hand Of
clubs.
"Well. and how did you enjoy your
- dinner?" asked passenger of another Oh
= a European steamer, the first day out.
4 Don't mention It," said the other, feel:
"don't mention it. It's good
:, deal like the financial question in Con.
b gress."
- - "How's that?''
II II why, it's apt to come up at any mo4
- ment."
!. In 1864 Cook and Sigel simultaneously
!, moved on the railroad connecting Rich
mond and the southwest and up the Shen-
,e andoah, their operations being desigaed
n to help Graut by Gripping and confusing
d tho enemy. Cook was fully successful id
g. destroying the road, but Sige. was forced
, by Early to retreat. Col STROLLER (''Porte
a Orayon'') who was on Sigel's staff, remark
lie ed that the only difference between the
at two commanders was, that while Cook
" was tearing up the road, Sigel was tsars
ty| ing down the pike.
N oh, the flies the horrible flies!
r. Buzzng around like election lies;
I'd Dodgipg about like maniac's dream;
Over the butter and into the cream;
Holding conventions ali over tho
bread,
ut Biting your ears and tickling yous
,y head;
er Crawling,
he Buzzing,
ry| Too busy to die,
8 Dog-gone tn nasty, pcstiferous nyi
Said q Main street man to German
friend, who WAS complaining of not ha7.
Of ing anything to do:
e. -"Why don't you form class and teael
as German? Your friend Schmidt has
I'd night class, and he manages 10 make 1
y, few dollars in that way.''
to "Vat dot leetle Schmidt vot wriise aI
as de Gorthouse?''
tv s.Yes the sarren
n "Vy, he don't can shpeak dot tpglisn
h language like me. Ven he say moole, b.
n say moole; he don't can say rnoole Liz,
In me; and when he say blay, he say blay
,se he cont can say blay like me.'
us During the session of a Temperance
ID meeting in neighboring town, one ot
y the persons who occupied the stage wal
no an enthusiastic deacon. who frequently
Ter interrupted the speakers by Yelling
r. 'Thank Heaven for that"' One gentle
a man was called upon, who arose and
'er said:
'sLadies and gentlemen, am heart an(
soul in this cause, and feel that j.. will O<
great benefit to the people of thh
ne place."
all Thank Heaven for that" yelled hi
ng deacon.
&C. "But, ladies and gentlemen" he cod
rs tinued, IL am going to say that it will b>
OF impossible for me to address you thil
ne evening" ........
Ter 'sThank Heaven for that" said the ab
Use sent-mluded deacon. ...
~ When a Congress street woman ans;
oe wered the door. yesterday, she fount
al stranger on the steps. He had bundl'
- in hla hand, smile on his face, and b,
'S oe sai6:
OF MADAM, can I sell you some fly-pe
~ per-"
"Does the paper fly" she asked.
"No, ma'am; but i! makes tho d,es 4
et> fy." u.
r. "What do I want the flies 70 fly for p
DIS she continued .......
ny Every fly, nlauanl-" he was ex
]" planning, when she called out:
m II want you to fly! l can get alonI
y with flies better than with agcnts!''
Uie o., But am not on the Hy," he softl
III ~. protested.
cs' "Our cog is" she grimly replied, An
ed, 80 he was. He flew around the corner
lie the agent flew for the gate. the roll of nJ
md paper flew over the curb, and q new1oo
~ d climbed tree bCx to be out Of the mu1
and shouted:
Dur '.She flew, thou fiest, he flied; and
me believe the dog got piece OF meat WI
That coat.tailiO