The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-08-30
SENSE AND NONSENSE.


SENSE AND NONSENSE.
A DEADLY STRIKER: The lightning.
CONNECTICUT II ahead in the number Of
inventors and patentees.
A NEW York paper says that about 50,
goo Chicagoans need killing.
IT Is essentially effeminate to have no
opinions, but to abound in convictions.
A PRETTY good hard-times cigar il
made of leather shavings soaked in tobac-
CO juice.
An old tin pan doesn't "point morale
g often - it /" adorns . tail."-Norris-
tosen Herald.
A MULE struck on Saturday on the Eric
towpath. They have found q cap and one
suspender button that belonged to the
driver.-Rome Ssntine9.
Col. SELLERS new play IL called "The
Golden Calf" He does not reveal what
heifer.ts he will make to give it suckcess.
philadelphia Bulletin.
WILLIAM PATTERSON was the first man
who raised his voice against strikes, yet
no encyclopedias so much q mentions
him.-Norristoson Herald.
TIE FdrtsigAsly Reeiese has an able
article on "Water a. Beverage; :" where
upon the Albany E1press says: "The
idea appears to be feasible"
All If women were only like bananas
The older this fruit gets the nicer 1t looks,
and even when ready for the garbage box
children cry for it.-Detyoit Free Preas.
providence is on our side," as Sulei-
man Pasha remarked when the ammuni.
ton wagon drove up with the Rhode
Island supplies.-LOuisoiAe Courier. Jour-
nal.
TIE laborer is a little like clock-the
more he strikes, the more he runs down
and the sooner he will get wound up. The
hands can't afford to stand still. N. r.
Graphic.
PROMPT and vigorous measures against
the tramps," are demanded by the Pater.
son IN. JD Press, which say" 1.-The tramp
Is fast changing from beggarly and dis.
gusting object to dangerous brigand."
"SHE Is q perfect Amazon" said p,i-
pill In one Of our schools, of his teacher,
yesterday, to a companion. eyes" said
the other, who was better versed in &c.
ography than in history, ~ noticed she
had an awful big mouth"
A NORTH CAROLINA man has invented
q new spark-arrester, just Us though the
old man yelling down stairs to the girl to
come to bed, and asking if that saphead
intends to stay for breakfast wasn't effec-
tive enough.-Brookoils J1ersonian.
Nor long ago, in an English court, q
female witness, on the oath being admin
istered, repeatedly kissed the clerk in.
stead of the book. 1t was some time be-
EnFo ohn uva ma Aot 70 \ 4 L.
er-or at least the legal-thing to do.
The situation, few days ago, is thus
described by the Burlington Hank Eye :
1.-The meditative COW, out in the rural
sections, now stands across the deserted
railway track for hours, impatiently fight.
ing the flies and wondering why in thun.
der the train doesn't come along"
THE intelligent compositor has again
been heard from. The following is his
latest blunder: Wanted . girl for
light house work. Apply on the third
floor" Instead of lighthouse work it
should have been light house-work. It is
made more ridiculous when the place to
apply is Observation-Disclosures Courier
Journal.
THE San Francisco OhYonicle tells some
strange stories concerning the dishonest
management of some of the mines in that
State. which, though yielding largely of
gold, are continually running behind.
The thicvery is prevalent in every depart
ment of the management, and seems to
surpass anything before known in the
history of such affairs.
THE proposal to establish the whipping
post for the punishment of crimes like
sneak -thieving, tramping, drunkenness,
wife-beating, sensualism, etc., is receiv-
ing good deal of support in various
quarters, and where it has been tried its
effect has been excellent Some one writes
to New York paper that 81, OOO, 900 an
nually could be saved tc the citizens and
taxpayers of that city by its judicious
use.
A CITIZEN who was driving horse and
carriage on the upper end Of Woodward
avenue, wasn't satisfied with his horses
rate of speed, and while giving the ami
NAL liberal dose of whip, suddenly dis
covered that he was run away with. A
fore-wheel was dished by the curbstOne
and the man thrown out As he scrambled
up he saw the horse and buggy flying
down the avenue like bird, and he cried
out, as he rubbed his bruised knee,
(" That's fishes struck the gait now
now she's settled down to it! I'd give q
thousand dollars if have q stop-watch
here to time htr"-Uttroit Fr . Pres.
THE other night woman out on South
Hill was sewing in her room when she
was somewhat annoyed to see the apart
ment suddenly fill with non-explosive
kerosene oil. She felt that she had occa-
sion to 60 out into the air, and as the
evening was cool she wrapped window
sash around her delicate form and strolled
through the front fence, casually remark
ing to a neighbor who was passing, fire. {"
the course of the evening he repeated it to
ances, and their curiosity led them to visit
the woman's house and pour 6, 923 gallons
of water on the best carpets and furniture.
The palace is now illuminated. nightly
with tall0w candles.-Bwrlingt0 Haaok-
Eye.
THE Canadians do not feel at all fiat.
tered by having that obnoxious weed, the
Canada thistle, named after the fair Do
minion. They claim that the thistle is .
native of the United States. Whether
that is the case or not the thistle takes
very kindly to American soil. and IL at
present going West to cheer the hearts of
people there, who feel bereaved at the loss
of their much beloved grasshorper and
Colorado bug, who are supposed to be
journeying eastward. The Missouri Leg
islature has taken the Canada thistle mat
ter in hand. All land owners are required
by the Missouri law to cut down the this.
ties before seeding time, otherwise they
will have to pay fine of SO for every
thistle they allow to 60 to seed. This Law
has just gone into operation, and Canada
thistlcs will please govern themselves &C.
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Free Press.
Penny.N iso and Pound. Foolish.
JUST as some people love beauty, and
some love books, and some love pleasure,
there are aOme whO love money They