Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-02-09

The swlll-pall always stood by the
woodhouse door, and though it was
not an agreeable object in an asthet-
ic point of view, | could not for
some time get over a vexatious kind
of curiosity as to its contents. | saw
some strange things in it sometimes
viewed as articles of food; one of
Fred's boots, for instance, or pair
of scissors, or a teaspoon. Once,
when found silver fork In the
swill, l demonstrated with the SER
want girl-a stupid German creature
who had succeeded to our intelligent
Bridget when the latter got married.
1T is not so much that l care for
the silver, KathrIne,' said l, but l
don't want the porker choked to
death in his prime
My wife discharged Kathrine, in
an impatient moment, soon after
this, because the girl threw into the
swill-pail four quarts of rich cream
covered milk that had been procured
with trouble from the country, to
make prize pudding for a dinner
party that l gave to some of my
friends. Kathrine was pure city
bred, and had never seen such milk
before in her life; she supposed it
spoiled, and into the swill-pail it
went.
We had our porker about a month
and he had grown with marvellous
celebrity. The condition of thing, in
my back-garden occupied a large
share of my attention; for though
small, it had been literally stocked
and diligently cared for, and there
was quite a rivalry between my
neighbor Jones and myself in this
matter. Jones boasted of very su-
perior erudition in these things, and
being a gentleman of leisure he had
more time to look after them than |
had; but struggled hard not to be
distanced. There was no disputing
the point of Jones' Isabellas being
rather ahead of mine, but in most re-
spects l felt myself his peer.
September showed our garden
rich with an abundance of toma toes,
cabbagcs, onions, beets, beans and
so on, while the apple tree, the two
plum trees, and the grape-vines,
hung heavy with their load.
One day our porker got out of his
pen and went roofing around the
garden with a tumultuous exercise
of his freedom. OF course these wo-
men never saw him; it was washing
day, l believe. The havoc he made
by the time l got home at night was
thrilling to witness. Nobody could
tell how long he had been out of his
pen; but judging by the devastation
l witnessed, he must have been out
since morning. Tennyson's verse in
"Maud" must have given a faint in
dication of my emotions, as | stood
in the back door that evening:
1.-The roots of my hair have stirred,
And my pulses closed their gate with
shock on my heart"
There was nothing to do now,
however, but to put him back in his
pen. As he had grown, the porker
had developed a very ugly express
sion of countenace, and as l looked
at him now with his tushes protrud-
ing in a most villainOus way, con-
fess it was not most cheerful sight
for a timid man. However, l got a
big stick and went at him with loud
'shoos' and extravagant fOurishes of
my weapon. He eyed me quietly
out of his vicious little optics, and
whisked his tail defiantly; l soon
found there was no driving him back
to the pen. He lodged me in the
most exasperating manner; he dOu-
bled and twisted in way to set at
naught all my calculations. was
no match for him; Jones came out
while l was exercising myself with
the porker, and laughed at me over
the fence.
you don't go at it the right way,
Dobb, said he.
perhaps you'd like to go at it
yourself, Mr.. JONES' said 1, with
some dignity of manner, and a very
red face.
Take him by the tail, said Jones
calmly in reply. Get his nose aim
ed toward the pen and then pull bis
tail; the more you pull one way the
more he'll pull the other, and he'll
be in the pen before you know il"
Susan, who was standing on the
back steps looking at me laughed so
heartily at this, l felt quite good
humored, and asked Jones to come
over and give rs the benefit of his
superior wisdom. After little ban
tering and the handing of a splendid
cluster of Isabellas to Susan, he
climbed the fence.
Now, Dobb, said Jones, well
form a line-yOu and and Mrs.
Dobb and the servant girl
4 beg to be excused, Mr.. JONES'
laughed Susan, with tlmid glance
at the porker.
MY dear madam said Jones, gal
lantly, there's no danger at all. l
am quite in earnest l assure you; it
is pigs nature to yield to overpOw-
ering numbers. We have only to
form a line and close down in a sort
of crescent, and he will give up
the struggle at once, as you will
see.'
So it was undertaken. POrker
stood by the fence, eyeing us with
deep expression of interest. We
moved down upon him; he wheeled
about, snorted, and then made a
dive for us, or rather at me, and
whisk he went right between my
legs, so that l sprawled on the
ground most ungracefully; Susan
and the servant girl went screaming
into the house, and Jones was over
the fence in no time.
The result of it was, we sent for
Peter. 1t had now grown somewhat
dark, but Peter made short work of
the job; he got rope and took in
his other hand the big stick | had
been fourishing; then he went up to
the porker, fetched him a tremend-
Gus blow over the proboscis, and
while poor piggy was staggering
onJ min, n million stars Slinpad