Montgomery County sentinel., 1877-01-26
Testing Her Affection.

Mr.. Thorpe is a middle-aged widower,
and some time ago he paid his addresses
to Mrs. Bolts, widow on the shady
side of forty Thorpe is rich, and after
the widow accepted him, he began to
fear that maybe she had taken him for
his money, and 50 he concluded to test
her to ascertain if she really loved him
for himself alone. So, one evening when
they were sitting together in the parlor
he said to her
Hannah, I've something unpleasant
to tell you, but I am going to do it be-
cause consider it right that you should
know it, Hannah, what would you say
if Informed you that one of my knee
pans is gone, and that | have a patent
hinge on that leg?"
81 should say that | care nothing for
that, my dear; | have only one toe on
my left foot. The Others were frost
bitten off. and the ankle is all twisted
around and crooked"
"You don't tell me !" said Thrope
"Wcll, but I've something worse than
that. | might as well confess now tha.
the bald place on top of my head is moi
really my scalp; I've been treepanned
. hove a silver plated concern set into
my skull, a kind of skylighs You
can lift it up and see down on the inside
Of me-"
'Tm glad you mentioned it, dear,
said the widow, "for it gives me courage
to tell you that | haven't hair of my
own on my head I'm bald as a chan.
delier globe"
"Is that so? Gracious | never
should have expected it. But you vii
be surprised to learn that none of my
teeth are natural. All false, and be
sides that ] have to wear an India-rubbe,
thngamagig on my palate to keep i
from dropping down"
''E am very sorry for you, John, but
it's some comfort that all my teeth arr
false too. and that T am perfectly blinC
in my right eye. 1t looks like a gooc
eye, but it absolutely amt worth ;
cent"
'Great Heavens! Why didn't yor
tell me of this before p exclaimed
Thorpe. "But while We are on th,
subject. I will say further that | hav,
chronic torpidity of the liver, and tha
my breast bone is disiointed so that il
sticks out like a chickens. How doe.
that strike your"
"0h, I don't mind it," said Mrs
Bolts, 'because | have been biliou,
and dyspeptio for twonty years; have
wen on the back of my neck, anG
besides am one rib short 1t was
broken in railroad accident, and the
doctor had to cut it out. I'm subject tc
fits, too"
"This is horrible" said Thorpe.
"Mrs. Bolts, think you ought to have
mentioned these things to me when
proposed to you. | imagined that was
addressing woman, complete human
creature. But what are You Mrs. Bolts
Mrs. Bolts, you appear to me to be a
kind of diapidated old wreck, with
not more'n half of the usual machinery
about you. It's wonder to me you
don't fall to pieces"
81 am no more than you are. You
said yourself that you have trap-door
IN the top of your head, and a gum
elastic plate, and don't know but what
you have to wind yourself up with a key
at night when you go to bed to keep
yourself running until n corning"
Yes, but these things amt true, 4"
said Thorpe. Il only told you about
them to see if you really loved me- Pm
as sound as dollar; no inactive liver.
or silyer-plated skull, or anything But
you seem TO be kind of strung together
SOS if you should knock against any
thing you'd scatter all around over the
carpet. | think you ought to let me off"
very well, sir, so | will. But let me
tell you that I've got nothing the matter
with me, eithor. | only invented those
stories to try you, because | knew you
were playing game on me Now |
know you don't love ne. You can go,
sir"
"lIannah, I take it all back. l do
love you"
"Do you, really? Then l love you
more than"
But no; the curtain had better be
drawn right here. The cold and selfish
world has no business with such scenes
as this. They are to be consolidated
early next month.