The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-12-22


the happiness of making you my wife?''
" Yes, | hope so, I'm sure, )" she replied,
for I'm getting tired of suing fellows
for breach of promise. "
A Maine girl worked the motto 81
Need Thee Every Hour and presented
it to her chap. He says he can't help
it; it takes him two hours to milk and
feed the pigs morning and night, and
business has got to be attended to.
-'' Silence in the courtr' Numbered
a Tennessee Judge the other morning.
Half dozen men have been convict
ed already without the Courts having
been able to hear word of the testi-
mony.'
Young man, beauty fades as the
years 90 by. Don't fall in love with
woman simply because she has pretty
face. Remember that wealthy father
in-law is better than the rosiest damsel
in seven States.
When man detects missing but
ton after getting on clean shirt, no
one is aware of the fact. He takes off
smiling all the while. He never, never
speaks of it to a soul.
"A Mississippi editor, meaning well,
put in his paper: Raise and eat more
chickens and buy less bacon.' When
he went for his dinner, he met shrill
voice saying: "Who is running this
boarding house? You or me?n-NeW
orleans PicayHne.
Here is brief Texas story: can
TtoIsor, Jnu noO,aH o1I1- ao,,,o 70 +l,;e,
country eight years ago poor organ
grinder. His monkey died and he hired
as sheep-herder near Laredo, and by
hard work got herd of his own. He
is now independently rich"
"A Kentucky paper says that
young man who recently married girl
with a gold mine gave his friends
a supper of g didelphys virginians'' i'm
bedded in wide dish of g convulvulus
edulls." Them's possum and taters.-
Detroit Free Press.
My friend, have you a sulling wife!
Don't go and worry on it,
| But try and use diplomacy,
IT'S best-depend upon it.
| Don't beg and coaX-don't go and write
| A poem or a sonnet,
No-rouse her dropping spirits with
| A brand-new winter bonnet.
The clothing of persons ought to
be representative of their position, and
a man should be ashamed, who has
money to spend upon lands or horses
or his own pursuits, to grudge that
which his wife needs, and which she
would probably have were she not tied
to him.-Jennie June.
"A little boy of Des Moines, Iowa,
who writes to his "fren jimmy that
he is going to run away from school
and be an editor, thus closes his letter:
Tel var sister Katey l don't hav nothin
moar to do with that Jinlls girl, and am troo
| to her. | wont git proud and forgit her If
do be an edytur, nor you neither, Jimmy, if
! you foxes is poor and emery.
Yores Truley, JOHNNY.
-Ifyou should run bridge six inches
wide from the top of Trinity Church
steeple to the top of Grace Church
steeple, the man that tried to walk safely
from one to the other would have an
easy task compared to the man that
tries to tell the truth, without evasion,
at all times,-Henry Ward Beecher.
What this country yearns for now
is great forger or defaulter who
doesn't belong to the best society, who
isn't eminently respectable, over whose
conviction the maudlin tears are not
shed-in short, a sinner who is actually
wicked, at least in spots. We are get
ting sick of having to send so many
saints of society to the Penitentiary.
Young Milton Fleighty, of Ninth
street, thought it would be so nice the
other day to slip in unexpectedly and
pay his sweetheart surprise visit in
the daytime. He naturally thought to
find her in blue-velvet morning gown
and satin slippers, reading sad, sweet
poetry in a book with red cover, sigh
ing Ikea broken bellows and thinking
of him-the absent loved one. 1t didn't
turn out that way. She was out in the
back yard, with dirty towel around
her head, in an old faded gingham
wrapper, with her brothers boots on,
scrubbing off the brick walk, and
telling a woman how to put down
pigs feet to keep all winter. She has
sent back his presents and the past is
like spoiled mackerel to both of them
now.-Cincimnati Breaktast- Table.