, 1877-11-23
Fun and Sentiment.

DEATH"
WHERE one woman scans the horizon
for signs of the dawn of a brighter era,
ten are scouting among. their neighbors
irving to borrow saleratus.
A PHILADELPHIA dancing master is
about introducing new dance expressly
for fat people. All the performers have
IN do is to sit on the floor and kick.
~ SHOULD have no objections to my
wife's reigning," said an atfectionate hus-
band, 'if it were not for the fact that
when she reigns she is apt to storm ALSO"
In Cincinnati, almost every portion of
the hog is put to some valuable use. A
distinguished philosopher of that city is
now trying some method Of turning the
sequel to some account
"MAMMA," asked a precious youngster
at tea-table the other evening, after
long and yearning gaze toward a plate of
doughnuts, "do you think I could stand
another of those fried holesi"
"How is it that you have never kindled
a fame in any mans hearth" asked rich
lady of her portionless niece. 81 suppose,
aunt, it is because I'm not good match,S
meekly replied the poor niece.
Two men in New York were overheard
discussing the strike. Said one: "But
don't the Bible say, Strike till the last
armed foe expires9'" "That's fact"
said the other; 81 didn't think Of that"
SIR BOYLE ROCHE thus accounted for
the prosperity of the Dublin tishmongers:
They "went down to Ringsend when the
boat came in, bought the fish for half
nothing, and sold them for twice as
much"
AT THE ART GALLERY.-Lady with
catalogue)-"No. SO, Eve Tempted"
Gentleman (desirous to know the paint
er's name)-"Who by2" Lady Shocked
at his ignorance)-"Wby, by the devil, Of
course"
"DADDY, want to ask you a ques-
ton" "Well, my son." "Why is
neighbor Smiths liquor shop like
counterfeit dollars" II can't tell,
my SON." "Because you can't pass it,"
said the boy.
"NEvER do anything you would not
like to see Others do" remarks the New
York Herald. Well, now, that's the worst
yet. If we wanted to marry girl, for
instance, we wouldn't like to see some
other fellow marry her.--0R City Call.
LITTLE Emma, from Washington, was
sent on visit to her cousin, who was an
officer at Fort Monroe. She became
homesick at last, and said, "Cousin
A, please put postage stamp on my
forehead, and send me home in the cars"
A ROMAN who recently returned from
Philadelphia, informs US that Kelley
motor consists Of pound of boarding
householder shut up in an iron box.
This statement will do much TO restore
confidence in the power of the MOTOR
Rome Sentinel.
AN excellent man up town who re-
buked youthful friend for devoting too
much of his life to horses, was SO over
come when the other replied that life
was but span that he was obliged to 60
home and lie down and take a little rhu
barb out of decanter.
MRS. JuaarNs lost one of her dodgers
lately. He went off suddenly, on urgent
private affairs, and forgot to settle his
little account. "Ah," says the old lady,
''when e come ere, g called ITSELF a
capting; but I've discovered to my cost
that 'e's only left tenant"
A FATHER said of his boy, who had
neglected his studies and become con-
spicuous as a ''ladies" man-"he's got all
girled up" The Springfield Republican
thinks this is a remarkably happy and
pregnant phrase, as descriptive Of the
vealy period of youth. We suppose IT
wouldn't do to say of girls at a similar
stage that they are all boyed up!
A BANGOR (Me.) man attended camp.
meeting, and on his return was telling of
the good time he enjoyed. A serious
faced man asked, "Were there any con-
verts3" He stopped moment, and said:
swell, forgot to ask. But the baked
beans were bully, and the sailing and row.
ing were divine, and there were some OF
the handsomest girls there that ever
saw"
"MAKE me a nice easy coat" said
noted pulpit orator of Chicago to his
tailor one day lately--"one that's loose
and roomy enough for me to stretch up
in and grow eloquent over, you know"
"Yes, understand" said the tailor,wit
twinkle in his eye; "you want me to
make one gesture sizel" "That's it, ex-
actly," exclaimed the divine, as he
laughed at the tailor's merry pun; zone
that can jest swing myself in"
"Tm, this won't do; you must take
warning by the fate of your friend
O'Shaughnessy. Only three nights ago
he came home much soberer than you
are, but in attempting to blow out can,
die his breath took fire and he exploded
blew up-so that his friends in three
days have not been able to scrape enough
of him together to hold wake over" can