Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1877-08-08
IIuIllOr.


Says Josh Billings: Il sot down in
thought profound. This maxim wise
drew: It's easier fur you to love gal
than maik y gal luv your"
Adoption, men!" said corporal to
a division of recruits "when your
names are called, you say here; and
he who is not here, say absent
Beer is down to four cents in New
York, but here the bloated barley-mash-
erS still charge five cents. There should
be IN extra session of the Legislature to
see about this natter
Sweet potatoes contain los per cent
of gum, which will be joyful intelligence
to school girls who have been forced to
rely upon the spruce foundrics of Michi-
gan for their supplies,
Only one wedding to chronicle this
week, Young men and Young women,
what do YOU think the directory man
Will do for names twenty years from
now if this thing keeps on?
Bridget" said mistress to her Irish
servant, where's the gridiron?' AN
shure, ma am, Use just after giving it
to my cousin O'Flaherty; the old
things SO full of holes its no good II
all.
An Irish pilot being asked il he knew
the rocks in the harbor, replied with
confidence, Il do, your honor, livery
wan of thin. That's wan,' he added
calmly, as the ship struck it, filled and
sank
Richmond Enquirer Conkling is in
Edinburgh. Every day he climbs up
into the cupola of Sir Walter SCOTS
monument, and, leaning way out over
the clill, shakes his fist in the direction
OF the White House.
The reason for day lahorer dropping
his tools with such accuracy when the
clock strikes twelve, ana his rapid speed
towards dinner, is that he may make up
the time he may lose in getting back to
work.-OH City Cal.
New York Commercial advertiser. Il
apologize for saying you could not open
your mouth without putting your foot
III IT.. SAID the editor stcrnly regarding
the horse-whip she held over his head
solcmnly assure you that when | said
it | had no idea of the size Of your
foot"
Burlington Howkew, Many u sweet
girl, with tender, loving eyes, has wept
away the moments of loves young
dream, while the young man who was
to tell her about ii is pleading with the
hvery-stable man, trying to hire four
dollars worth Of horse and buggy for a
dollar and Il half
While miscr was on his death-bed,
Il tallow candle was burning on the
stand, and Pickering flame in the fire
place. lie watched the candle and then
the fire. Suddenly he called his son:
" Come here The son approached his
bedside, when the old man whispered:
" Blow out that candle tallows most rs
dear us butter"
With face as red ms a lobster, and
back shaped like the shell of clam,
the housewife stands over the kitchen
stove and manipulatcs raspberry jam
Berkshire Courier While her husband,
with nose like II sunset and mouth like
the song of year, leans over the coun-
ter of free lunch, and clevates schoon-
ers Of beer Huntington Houckew.
The Montgomery (Ala.) Adye,tiscr be-
licves that Juvenile prccocity and de-
pravity have reached their acme III
small boy i'll that city, who gathered his
cap full Of toads, stationed himself near
the sidewalk and threw them under the
feet OF two ladies who came along.
There was some awful screaming, and
hendish giggling from the throat Of the
boy II few moments aiterward.