Rocky Mountain husbandman. [volume] (Diamond City, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1877-03-01
THE FIRST BACHELOR

her not half discharged. 81
THE FIRST BACHELOR.
Imagine Adam in his loneliness, the only
human being in this wide, wide world-a.
fnil-grown man at this birth, with no one to
grant him a certificate thereof. or. to fur
nish him with the evidence that he ever was.
born at all. He has never experienced any
of the perils of infancy and childhood, such
as the cutting Of teeth, mumps, measels,
and c~hicken-pox, without which no young
mans education is complete. Adam is the on
~ man who never had q grandmother to
mend his pants, knit his mittens and stand
between him and all harm. He had never
played the great and eXhiliarating game of
base ball, never had submitted to the indig-
nifty of having a chip knocked from his
shoulder by some other boy. No, he, had
none OF the essentials that go toward maxi
ing up the average boy Of the present. He
found himself born somehow, a full-grown
man, q bachelor, with no chum in the whole
universe with whom to converse upon that
interminable topic, the weather; no one to
go fishing with mo one to love, none to ca
ress - no one to sew buttons on his shirt !;
no one to lend him a helping hand. There
he was, the keeper Of a large geological gar
den, with no d~oorkeeper to take the tickets,
no one to cone to the show.
Like all bachelors, he seemed to be a mis-
hhe, and this quality of mistakes has been
sO cay-nraIy fro n cy,1; ttol thpo17cI. Tho 1o,u
ages that have INTERVIEWED, without let-up
or hindrance, that it has become a fixed
fact, unalterable as Persian law. His Max
er saW-What any one at this day clearly
sees-that it was not good Tor man to be
alone. He becomes fidgety, queer, %notional
and out Of order generally. Adam had in
all probability, begun to manifest some of
these peculiar characteristics, and was him
self convinced that there was something
more necessary to his happiness, but he had
not the brains to invent nor the ingenuity
to devise anything in himself.
Adam evidently was not a happy man in
his estate of single-blessedness and the
Divine Being, ever anxious for the welfare
VI LIS ICdlulCS. saw iiidb IL NdS l1Ob SOOu
for him to be alone, and hence gave him,
what every %fullgroWn man needs, viz, some
one to talk to, to argue with, to love and
cherish, and if things don't go right gen
orally, 90 torto lay part Of the blame upon.
Did you ever contemplate the poverty of
Adam when he took Eve for better or worse?
Only think Of it. He hadn't a hat to his
head, a coat to his back, q pair of shoes to
his feet, nor $ nary a red cent" in his trous-
ers' pocket. Eve brought no dowery, she
had nothing to bestow, save her love and af-
lection. and as he was the only young fell
low around, it was he or nobody. Equally
poor with her husband, she came to him
without a bonnet, or shawl, calico gown, or
even a pair of slippers. Moses forgot in his
"reminiscences, to give lis any account Of
their W~edding-trip, bat from what we can
gather-in regard to the wardrobes of that day
their baggage would have proved no incum-
berance, for a very limited amount suficed,
and dressing to please everybody was of no
account. for there were none but themselves
to please. Doubtless their Whole outfit Of
travelling dresses, wate1proofs, busters,
luncibaskets, and all, he could have carried
III the pockets of lis trousers. They must
have started housekeeping Z also, upon