Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1877-11-29
A FRIEND OF THE RED MAN.
BIZ MAX ADELrR.

81 don't take the same view Of the
North American Indian that most |
people do" said Professor Trotter,
in a discussion down at the grocery
store the other. night. .hNew some
think that the red man displays want
of good taste in declining to wash
himself; but don't. What is dirt7
It is simply--matter-the same kind
Of matter that exists eyerywhere. Thsl
earth is made Of dit; the things we
eat are dirt, and they grow in the |
dirt; and when we die and are buried,
we return again TO the dirt from
which we we're male. Science says
that all dirt is clean. The savage In
dian knows this; his original mind
grasps this idea; he has his eagle eye
on science and he has no soap. Dirt
is warm. A layer one-sixteenth of
an inch thick on {. man is said by
Professor Huxley lobe as comfortable
as fifty dollar suit Of clothes. Why
then should the child of the forest un-
dress himself once week by scraping
this of, and expose himself to the
rude blasts Of wirter7 He has too
much sense. His head is too level to
let him take square wash more than
once in every two hundred years, and,
even then he don't rub hard. 81! u.
'sAnd then in regard to his practice
Of eating dogs; Why shouldn't man
eat dog7 A dog sometimes eats a
man, and turn about is fair play. A
weli-digested dog slowed iisvay on the
inside Of Choctaw squaw, does more
10 advance civilization and the Chris.
tian religion than y dog that barks all
night in back yard, and makes peo-
pie get up out of bed and swear, don't
it2 And nothing is more nutritious
than dog. Professor Huxley says
that one pound of dogs hind leg,
nourishes the vital forces more than q
wagon load of bread and corned
beef. 1t contains more phosphorus
and carbon. When dogs are alive
they agree with men, snd there is no
reason why they shouldn't when they
are dead. This nation will enter up
on glorious destiny when it stops
raising corn and potatoes, and devotes
itself more to growing crops in pnp-
pies. A.a at'
SLOW many ignorant people CON-
slider scaling inhaman. don't. L
look. upon it as one of the most bene-
1cent processes ever introduced fer
TIC -usEfcsfoI apavss - O.
the human race. What is hair3 It
is an excresence. If it grows it
costs a man great deal of money
and trouble to keep it cut. If it falls
out the~man becomes bald, and the
flies bother him. What does the In
dian do in this emergency? With
characteristic sagacity he lifts out the
whole scalp, and ends the annoyance
and expense. And then look at the
saving from other sources. Profess
or Huxley estimates that two thou
sand pounds of the food that a man
eats in year GO to nourish his hair.
Remove that hair and you save that
much food. If had my way, II
would have every baby scalped when
it is vaccinated, as measure Of po-
litical economy. That i would be
statesmanship. ] have a notion to |
organize political party on the basis |
of baby-scalpine, and to go on the
stump to advocate it. If people had
any sense, i might run into the Presi-
dency as a baby-scalper.
'And as for The matter of the In
dians wearing rings through their
noses, I don't see why people COM
plain Of that. Look at the advantage
it gives man when he wants to hold |
ON to anything. If a hurricane strikes
an Indian, all he does is to hook his |
nose-ring over Il twig efa tree, and
there he is, fast and sound And it |
gives him something to rest his pipe |
on when he smokes, while, in the case |
of man with pug, the ring helpa to
jam his proboseis down, and to make
1t q Rom IN nose. Butt look at it |
from sanitary point of view. The
Indian suffers from catarrh. Now
what will cure that disease2 Metal |
in the nose in which electricity can
be collected. Professor Huxley says
that the electricity in a metal ring two
inches in diameter will cure more
catarrh than all the medicine between
here and Kansas. The child of nature |
with wonderful instinct has perceived
thus, and he teaches MS a lesson.
When we, with our higher civilization,
begin to throw away finger-rings and
and Il, wear rings in aour
noses. We will lie a hardiera race. / T
am going +, direct the. attention Of
Congress to the matter.
"Then take the objections that are
urged to the Indian practice Of diiv-
Ing stake through man and build
ing bonfire ola his stomach. What
is their idea? They want to hold
that man down. Tf they sit on him
they would ob.,tr.lct the view of him.
They put stake through him, and
there he is secured by simple meafis,
and IL It is driven in carefully it may
do him good. Professor Huxley says
s 1. -.