The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1877-07-28
VARIETY.

The New York Tribune recently illustrated
some Turkish reverses by printing its war map
bottom side up.
There are two ways of getting through this
world. One way is TO make the best OF it.. and
.he other is to make the worst Of it. Those who
take the latter course work hard for poor pay.
paper, speaking of family who made
fortune out of whisky, says, 't They live on
Twenty-third street, in perfect delirium tre
mems of splendor.'
'' InsuIts,'' said a modern philosopher, ARP
like counterfeit money. We cannot hindsr
their being offered but we are not compelled to
take them.
Mr. Beeeher said in his Friday night talk:
81 mean to keep the good work for twenty
or thirty years more, until L am eighty, or nine
ty, If the Lord don't Interfere LII 1--we, L
work if don't live, 1 60 to heaven" That's
SO, if the Lord don't interfere,-[Puck
A shot at a cat, and brought down his
wife the first time. The most singular part Is,
the wounded woman actually believes that ne
aimed at the cat. One of the most beautiful
characteristics of a wife is the answering con-
fdence she places in the word of her husband.
An individual who sold CLAIMS on the Lords
Day defended himself with the plea that he
'' feared the clans would not keep till Monday,
and It would be better to pay the costs of Court
and enjoy a free conscience than to palm off
dead CLAIMS on an unsuspecting people and suf-
The will of the rich man of the future will
read To the respective attorneys of my chill
dren 1 give my entire estate and worldly goods
of all descriptions. Personally to the children
and to my beloved wife give all that remains
This instrument will satisfy the family, and
save the trouble of proving the old man insane.
A Yankee poet thus breaks forth: 80 the
snore! the beautiful snoreI filling the chamber
from ceiling to aoori Over the coverlet, under
the sheet; from her dimpled chm to her
tiny feet Now rising aloft like bee in June
now sunk to the wall of a cracked bassoon now
fute-like subsiding, then rising again, is the
beautiful snore Of Elizabeth Jane!"
DoN'r SEE Ir.-A California paper describing
q banquet to the head of their fire department
last New Year, says: The boys gave their ehiei
q bully lay out, and afterwards watched and
chained him. The paper is sent regularly
from there, by young man, to his relatives in
Scotland, where the item was noticed in the
local journal as follows: sc Frightful inhuman-
ity in America. In a town in Nevada, which is
a very lawless place, some men took the chief of
the fire department, bullied him and laid him
out 1--WE suppose on the floor, or perhaps with a
poker), after which he carefully guarded and
heavily fettered by the cowardly villains. The
editor who relates the facts was probably afraid
of being similarly treated, as the pusllanimous
fellow makes no mention of the outrage editori-
ally. Let us be thankful that we live in civil
lied country under the mild rule of mon
arehy. That's what's the matter.
HUMAN NATURE.-There was a business man
standing IN front of the Wooster House picking
his teeth, the other morning He was doing
this in mechanical way, as his mind was en-
pioyed busiy upon weighty matter. While
he stood there boy approached with bundle
OF books under his arm. He was going to
school, but he wanted to go elsewhere. He saw
the business man in the shade, and leisurely
picking his teeth, and he thought of the hot
schoolroom and its tasks, and of the cool woods
and fishing brooks, and groaned within himself
as he said:
81 wish l was a man SO l could do as I
pleased
The man still stood there. He had a note
of four hundred dollars to pay before the bank
closed, and he had goods to order from a firm
whom he already owed and he had twenty-five
dollars In his pocket, and no earthly possibility
OF collecting hundred more. Then his eye fell
upon the boy going to school, and he sighed,
and said:
Would to heaven I was boy again at