National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1877-01-01

CURIOSITY SHOP.
Beware the falling avalanche.


Beware the falling avalanche.
The drop curtain covers multitude of
scenes.
Some ofthose striped stockings remain
beautifully filled.
-Chicksmauga river, Ga, has frozen
for the first time in twenty years.
Ladies' muffs this season are made so
as to get three hands In at squeeze.
IT you insist on having coffee you
won't be half so sick tomorrow morning.
The head-waters of Chester river,
Maryland, have been stocked with salmon.
"A Belgian murderer had his sentence
COMMITTED because he had wooden leg. That's
q lame defense.
There have been $50 disasters on the
Lakes this year. causing the loss of 900 and
fourteen lives.
1t is not inspiring to hear the man
-g'will to men-whoop"
Mr.. Mindiseye recently fell overheard
from a Mississippi steamboat. He'd better mind
Us eye and not try it again.
1t is the opinion of a woman that
there are fast males enough in the country now
without adding another one.
"A Kansas girl can put bullet in an
apple at fifteen PAGES, and we dare say she
sweeps room at the same distance.
Hard times are compelling some of
the New York churches to discharge their paid
choirs and resort to congregational singing.
-Parlsian ladies have taken to dying
their pet dogs. One dame goes further she
dyes her horses, driving four Of brilliant ma
genta.
When a man gets little money. aud
starts out at evening to burst faro bank, It Is
morning at free soup-house.
NO. bub, we cant remember the name
of the father who first invented the art of leading
his son to expect pair Of skates at Christmas
and then filled his pockets with five cents worth
of popcorn.
The bad women of Chicago are not
afraid to own T.. When Moody called FOR them
to come forth q thousand females responded. Had
he called for all the blacklegs not more than half
the aldermen would have been present.
The approach of Christmas, genially,
promotes good feeling. A large and sympathetic
crowd gathered yesterday to watch corpulent
citizen crawl over slippery place on the side
-"What on earth are you doing,
Maria 2" he yelled, as he saw her whip off a coil
Of her fair false locks and dust them against the
rosewood legs Of the seven-octave, and am only
playing my favorite hair on the piano, DEAR" was
all she answered.
IL wish were you about two hours"
she said with great tenderness. sand why, my
| dear, he asked with considerable interest BE
watch-chain, because then would buy my wife
a new set of furs."
"A woman noticed her husband blow
ing his breath Justify against the windows and
he had laid down and there read that 'incrusta.
tions Of frost upon window glass can be prevented
oy the application Of alcohol"
1--WE are glad to see that the ladies are
again forming reading clubs for the winter. The
reading club is an organization that discusses the
character of Shakspeare's Portia for fifteen min
utes and the best manner of cutting basque on
the bias for an hour and half and rarely fails to
be of great profit"
"A Brooklyn lady who has just re-
turned frym long visit to Europe confesses that
in spite Of the attractions and novelties of the
missed. On being urged to be more explicit she
at length acknowledged that she missed holding
up her skirts to avoid tobacco juice.
"A Boston man destroyed the equilib-
election BECAUSE Tiiden was elected. The eaui .
poise has, however, been happily adjusted by the
suicide Of somebody in Sedala, MO, because TIL
what delicate checks and balances nature always
labors.
Little H s.. who has been to
church two or three times, was asked the other
sSont GOD and and did he say soa
thing else?" "Yes; he said there would be
torchlight procession in the afternoon" The
notice had been given that q collection would be
taken in the afternoon.
An exchange suggests several expe-
dients for repeling the alprates who organize
surprise parties and prey upon their hapless neigh
Of
out of front window dampens the ardor of assaii-
ants; an electric battery attached to the bellwire
spised.
"A young Baltimore man told his wife
that he had embezzled several hundred dollars
of his employers money, and she said that by
the amount, and thus save his credit. When they
had, BY hard pinching, accumulated the required
sum, the husband added that to the stolen money,
and eloped with girl as he had intended to do
from the first.
"A young man who was declined with
scorn by girl some three years since thought
the Ehirligig Of time had brought his revenge
day afternoon In his cutter, o Id saw her, with
old shawl tied about her head, engaged In futile
effort to clean the sidewalk with a dilapidated
broom, while her husband sat by the window
readiog newspaper.
This very sage advice is going around.
that sure way to tell between silver quarters
To the % e.
can give better rule than that: One piece has
"Quar. Dol" the other Twenty Cents Be-
telling good esgs-they will sink or swim, you 'Sa
can't remember which.
This notice appeared in the st. Johns
willie Portrait: The editor was last Thursday al
pump weight
avoirdupois. Gentlemen, show your hands. And
the editor Of the Amsterdam Recorder speaks up
plead not guilty" he says. ''and show our hands.
We had nothing whatever to do with it."
Did you ever try the effect of little
selEcacrifce at this season Of the year? All is
but throw your wraps about You and
go out into the darkened lanes and byways of the
city; Sc how many you will tind to whom the
glad Christmas time brings only sadness, suffer-
ing and despair. Help them If ever so little,
help them, and you will abundantly realize that
1t is truly more blessed to give than to receive.
"Inasmuch as ye did it unto :one of the least of
these, ye did 1t unto me-"
PITY the poor these Christmas times.
When you see poor little girl standing SILVER.
ionsingIy in at the array Of wonderful and tempt
ing things, do not pass her rudey by. Give her
cent, and tell her to go in and buy drumming
with red hair that shuts its eyes when you lay it
down. Then see how the good deed will rise the
Soas
name In order to give you testimonial.
james Kelly, an old soldier under
Wellington died lately in st. Louis, at the great
age Of almost lOl. Kelly was an Irishman. He
enlisted in the celebrated regiment of C0nnaught
Rangers, and participated with them In nearly
all the battles in the Peninsalar campo gn under
Wellington against Napoleon He e. was as in twelve
led a number Of forlorn hopes, and only missed
being at Waterloo by being ordered with part
of his regiment to Canada, He was temperate in
his habits, and was never known to take glass
Of liquor.
III say, boss" remarked a Chicago
free lunch fend glancing over the counter to the
proprietor one day this week, at the same time
filling his mouth with slices of bologna sausage
and cut cabbage. "Well, say it." remarked the
boss, in surly tones. ~ was jes' going ter say
it," continued the fend, as he deliberately slowed
ye' If ye couldn't send my vctuals round ter my
stoppin' place after this. I'm gittn tired comm
over here two or three times every day, an I
live only cross the alley where ye' could lest
well send 'em round as not"
When Mr.. Coyille left home at s
o'clock in the morning his heir i'll that he
could scarcely hold up his head, and the good man
thought seriously Of calling in q doctor. When
Mr.. Coville went homo at IL o'clock to make
To tal trni n far eli uhara b