The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1877-07-26
WHOLE NO. 1871.


II -
What . man calls hard luck is fre-
quently looked upon as laEinsss By his
neighbors.
oftentimes the uncertainties Of the
next world have leaa terror for as than
the eertainties Of this.
A war map fell into the hands Of a Chi.
cago woman. She thought ID vas . pat.
tern. and tried 10 cut . eh~miss by H.
A Boston man has listened TO atty one
Fourth OF July orations NJ. can stili
-it up by leaning against something. but
he is delirious AZ times.
This rule Of Secretary Sherman's forbid.
ding the employment Of two from the
same family Il going 10 make IL hard for
the Smiths.
A New Englander writes home from
the Black Hiils that there are a. many
wise men going out every day a. there
are fools coming In.
A Chicago girl broke an engagement
with her bctrothed. Mr.. vyso. on bear.
ing hhat after marriage shs might be ad.
dieted to small vices.
1T is well TO leave something for those
who come after ua. Aa q man aaid when
be threw barrel In the way Of q eonstA-
bic who was chasing him.
Little girl has present Of "a bbils; when
she goes 10 bed she prays 20 God Ne
thank Thee specially FOR the wabbits-aii
but the cage; We bad that before"
The worst spectacle Of rage. astonish.
ment and disappointment NO ever aaw
was that Of a couple OF dogs trying 10
light with their muEries on.
The foolish man ssizeth on the hoe
and goeth 10 blind on the garden bed.
but the wise man pAaseth when spades
are trumpa and letteth his wife make H.
"No." ahs said. and the wrinkles Ia
her face smoothed out pleasantly. NO. I
do not remember the last asventeen.year
locusts. / was an infant then"
tells you family that be doean't see What
his opinion ia worth. and then be smiles
a. " he bad put on too much mustard.
How to Tell Mad Dog" is the title
Of an article that is going the roanda.
We haven't anything 70 teli . mad dog
that we couldn't send him on postal
card.
"Don't show my letters" wrote Rock.
land young man 10 young lady whom
he Adored. "Don't be afraid waa the
reply; I'm just a. much ashamed Of
them ~ you are"
Thought I'D leave my measure on
your foor." said a man who fell down In
a barroom. NO necessity for that"
said the barkeeper. we know exactly
how much you hold"
A mother having occasion 10 reprovs
her little daughter Tor playing with aome
rude children received the reply. well.
ma. some folks don't like bad company,
but always did"
More amenities Of Journalism. who
wouldn't be an cditorT asks the Lafay-
ette. Indiana Journal You wouldn't"
replies an Illinois exchange. IL you tried
a hundred years"
Papa" asked hoy. what l. meant
by Parsdis-7' Paradise. my son. re-
piled the father. "is the latter part of
summer. when your mother goes on
visit TO your grandfather"
During a thunder storm two dogs that
u0NAfu ~ NeNN AANAAA
D lightning and killed. Howling dogs
should cut this out aud paste 10 in their
hats.
II makes a man feel maddor than
nest Of June bugs 10 dance a hornpipe Ia
front Of a lady on the street three min
utes before he can control himself 90 -
TO let her pass without = collision.
A Roman remarked the other day
try mighty hard 10 be honest. but some
times a poor man cannot be honest. un-
lcss be steals the money 10 be honest
with.
Geo. Francis Train says "A deadlier
poison than spitz, moccaain, cobra or
rAttlesn AXE gnaws greedily AZ the Viiala
OF Church. State aud society" He must
mean "Jerseyiightning."
How wise Il the tramp who sleeps in
the fence corner and has no fears Of hotel
fres and ak story leaps 10 stone pave-
menta. Go 70 the tramp. thou architect.
his ways and be wise.
The man who about house cleaning
time cold you n first class furniture polish
will, in day or two. have the same ar
ticle for sale az the seaside a. an inialli.
bic remedy Tor the removal Of freokles.
HAekensAok fanciera have been dis
cuasing an announcement made In q
poultry journal that hen bad performed
the startling feat Of laying hfteen eegs
day. We should think thAta very hen
somelay gotten-up story.
The Methodist Conferences Of Ottawa
has, by request. resolved 10 interest iiaelf
In the welfare Of the Okla Indiana There
be found without much trou-
bic 10 make their future o. X. (Horrt
ble.)
II Is said that hundreds Of college grad.
uatea, who are out Of employment. are
willing 10 work for very low salary.
Probably they have not heard that there
is a vacancy In NorristoSa's d0g-oateher'
ship.
The Postofice Department is seriously
embarrAnaed by the large quantities OF
silver taken by the poatmAstcra From
a purely personal standpoint. 10 looks as
though the Postofics Department. was
easily embarrAssed.
The Russian priests Of the Greek
Church are allowed 10 marry but once.
This rule doesn't make much difference
after all a. moat Of them. BY The time
they reach the state Of vidowerhood, are
too bald 10 be attractive.
Some one said 20 Hugo. opcs upon .
time: ia must BE- very dihicult D. write
good poetry" mo. cir" replied the
poet. IL is either very easy o. utterly i'm.
possible.
young fellow who In lulgs. Ia The
u-- of strong drink. Gays ~ niEit be isela
a. " he owned AL the p perry ~ the