The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1877-03-13
seuse and Nnusense.

A German Princess not only speaks
six different languages, but bakes bread
and carries the loaves around to the
poor.
II haven't another. word to say, wife
Il never dispute with fools" "No,
husband, you are very sure to agree
with them"
"My land LADY," remarked man,
"makes her tea so strong that it breaks
the cups" "And mine," said another,
"makes hers so weak it can't run out Of
the pot.
Anything pite your inquired one
fisherman of another, while engaged in
-So, uUrlitsg III :, 90 " 81 =
returned the other, noting bite me
too"
Discussion between wise child and
its tutor-"That star you see up there
is bigger than this world" mo, il
isn't" "Yes, it is s.Then why doesn't
it keep the rain off ?"
Most men call fretting minor fault
a foible, and not a vice. There is nc
vice except drunkenness which can so
utterly DESTROY the peace, the happiness
of home.-Helen Homs.
| When young man encircles his part
ner's waist for dance, he will do wise.
ly to keep his fingers still. Nothing
aggravates a young lady more than tc
imagine you are trying to count the
whale-bones in her dress.
Mr.. Benham, New Haven artist, has
acquired great skill in making heads or
wood by means OF red-hot pokers. Blu,
for that matter, we know some people
who can take poker, and even colo
one, and put head on most anything
Lavender was aroused in the middl,
of the night by his wife, who complain
ed that she heard a noise. "What does
it sound like p asked he. sit sounds
like something ticking" said she. ats
probably the bed.ticking," he murmur
ed, and went off to sleep again.
When man. without cash or credi
(says the Oil City Derrick) attempts tt
leave hotel, and lowers his valise GU
of back window by means Of rope
it makes charity seem cold to hear tn
voice of the landlord below, yelling out
"All right. I've got the valise; let g
the rope"
An Irishman employed with a gentle
man was in the habit Of licking tn
cream. So the gentleman rose on
morning to watch him. He caught Pa
in the act. II don't like this at all,
says the master, angrily. "Then be ia
bers," says Pat, "you don't know what
good for you"
A correspondent of the Springfield
Republican tells Of little girl who's
papa has recently come under the infu
if-eHoesAuf N oody and Sankey. She wan
ted second tart at supper and was re
fused it. "Papa," she said abruptly
"why do you sing Feed me till I wan
no more ?" She got the tart.
The local scribblers are passing tbi
around as an original version of "Hol,
the Fort" which ,vas original with th
Boston Sunday Times:
"Hold the forks, the knives are coming,
J The plates are on the way;
7 Shout the chorus to your neighbor,
Slash the hash this way"
Sidney Smith wrote of a Miss MARI
} ham, sin carving partridge / splashe
E her with gravy from head to foot, an
though saw three distinct brown rill
} Of animal juice trickling down he
cheek, she bad the conplaisance to ave
that not drop had reached her. Sue
circumstances are the triumphs of civi
> lied life.
: A little four.year-old boy, who ha
: been taught his letters at home, aud fe
his importance, on going to school wa
, called up by the teacher, who asked :
"Can you read, my boy The littl
fellow stood amazed for q moment {
the Ito him) impertinence of the quel
, , ton, and thea exclaimed: "Hain't yo
,, , got cheek"
! About six months ago young ma
\ in Rock Island voluntarily escorted s
. old lady home from church sociabl
/ Last week she kindly died and left hil
$4,000 And now the old women {
! Rock Island are fairly besieged wit
! beaux, and the prettiest girl in town b.
. to walk home alone every time il the
!. is an old woman in the congregation
They tell story of man at Chic
8 90 hotel, whose room was on the tc
floor, the bell in which was out of orde
= After wrestling with it half an hour,
b went to the window and collected
crowd on the street below by waving
pillow case. When a multitude of Il
o low-citizens had collected he shout,
T. loud enough to be heard in Omaha :.
"Some of you fellows 60 to that Off
n and tell them to send me up cocktail
= There is man in Southington, Com
- = between fifty and sixty years of aG
= who has steadily worked for his faith
until the present day; never had d,
'n lar in his pocket, never went to chure
le wedding or funeral, never was on C,
II never to party, never spoke word
girl except to ask where her moth
:, was, never had holiday; and yet b
10 his poll.tax abated this year on accou
nee e of poverty, while his fathers estate
IN estimated at from $4,000 to 5000
in Samuel Williston, the first manuf;
turer of buttons in the United Stat
mt is still living, seventy-two years old, a
q. worth six million dollars. He has ma
[r half the buttons used in the world, a
* has never yet made suspender butt
r that would hold its grip and not fly
he and rattle across the floor every tim,
se man stopped to pick up his hat
of church. He was the first man "
he manufactured tin button that look
enough like silver five cent piece
ch fool short.sighted deacon with CT
nt tribution basket.
ho A physiognomist writes that the r,
w. ular white teeth, seen at once upon
IT. mouth opening, but not projecting,
Ir. always entirely seen, denote acutene
to truth and goodness. Small, short tee
re- which are seldom pure white, den
strength; long teeth always imply we
les ness and want of spirit. Those VIII
4 | r,, nd ,fronn hot tho nnl