Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1877-07-05
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

volt-lng.
The type-us fever is not fatal to
printers.
The strawberry shortcake is power
in the land.
The Turkish soldier, who fights for
the Prophet, receives only three cents a
day.
The orders of the day in Mexico
Marauders.-N. 7. Commercial Aduer-
tiser.
The New York World speaks of a
"polt-lariat' among the cattle droyers of
Texas.
Like Enoch Arden, the man who does
not advertise stands in his store from day
to day locking for a sale, and no sale ap-
pears.
An Oregon woman has invented a
steel trap to catch salmon in, and in one
week she caught 1913 large fish and made
fifty-five dollars.
"A writer says: The boys must help
themselves" Most boys do, until the old
man admonishes them by thump on the
head that somebody else likes cake as
well as they.-R0cklaad (he.) Courier.
"A coachman in New York who had
his eye blown out on last Fourth of July
by youthful patriot, who was celebrating
the day with a pistol, has just got yer
dict of 81 800 damages against the boys
parents.
"A Michigan Justice has decided that
man cannot legally be charged for meals
he may be invited to partake of while
courting; and we anticipate the time
when the deserving young man can charge
for his services as a courier -ROCheSter
Democrat.
The daily acquisitions upon the Third
Assistant Postmaster General for stamps
and stamped envelopes, lately, show
steady increase, which must indicate
either marked revival in business through
out the country or more activity in dun-
ming letters.
Each day in turn serves to dissipate,
one by one, the superstitions of antiquity,
but there isn't enough time marked down
On the calendar to suffice to wean a boy
from the practice of splitting on his bait
before he attempts to catch any fish,
Fulton (N. ~ Times.
A woman is worth a good deal or
nothing. If good for nothing, she is not
worth getting jealous for; if she be true
woman, she will give no cause for jeal-
ousy. A man is a brute to be jealous of a
good woman-a fool to be jealous of
worthless one.-EGctd1l0e.
We are told that, Fwhen bid, the
Berlin gorilla will wipe its nose as dain.
tily as child of four or five" And we
all know how daintily a child of four OF
five wipes its nose : on its sleeves; and
how, pretty often, it doesn't wipe its nose
at all.-NOrristOoon Herald.
An exchange asks: What will be-
come of the last man ?" Oh, he's all
right; don't trouble yourself about him.
The man who stays in after all the rest
have passed out, rakes in the pot and spends
the money. It's the other fellows, who
can't stay in, that get left, -BtlrEt1gt0n
Hdpk-Eue.
Ali Alabama man rcrusel 10 accept
certain bank bills rendered him because
the mules engraved upon them were not
properly gearcd. He said that the en-
graver had put the breeching upon the
lead mules instead of those at the wheels,
which made a very grave state of affairs
in going down grade.-N. Y. Times.
Now the summer nights are bringing,
Where the fragant vines are clinging,
Tuneful glee clubs, shrilly singing,
Ira, la, la, la, Ira, la, la!
While the mule, with ears uprising,
Listens to the sounds surprising,
And in accents agonizing
Echoes, ''Hee haw! haw, haw, hawr'
Huntington Haapk-Eye.
The other day a Burlington boy
started to carry home yellow Jackets
nest, to tie to the dogs tail, to have some
fun. He didn't get the nest all the Way
home, as it became so heavy he couldn't
carry it, but he succeeded in coaxing most
of the yellow jackets to accompany him
the whole distance, and they supplied him
with so much amusement that he hasn't
once thought of fun or the dog since, and
doesn't think he ever will.-Haaok-Eye
The children of clergyman's family
in Aberdeen were making themselves
happy propounding conundrums. Final
ly one of them said, ''Who was the meek
est woman?" The clergyman seemed
struck with fresh thought, and replied,
quickly, We don't read of any" But
madam made herself even with him when
she rejoined, with quite as much quick
ness: "Well, we read of only one such
man, and from the fuss that's made about
him it's plain they're scarce.''
A spring snow-storm in Nevada has
a peculiar effect either upon vegetation or
th" editorial Imagination, or both. The
Virginia Enterprise says of one: "The
little trees held up their arms all of a
tremble and shook their leaves beseech-
ingly, and as if in protest. The roses
dropped and died as though they had been
disappointed in love. In the valleys the
blossoms on the fruit trees looked up and
smiled, as beauty always smiles in the
embrace OF the destroyer. The sage
brush and bunch grass snugged a little
closer to the hillsides and never complained
at all.'
A correspondent from Sanford, Or
ange County, sends US the following snake
story, which, from his known character.
we believe true. Those who are unac-
quainted with either the habits of a scared
lizard or a hungry coach-whip snake NAV
doubt it, but we do not. He says: =" Mr.
English, an old gentleman who lives in
this county, was out hoeingo one day, when
he saw coach-whip snake chasing a liz
ard. The scared lizard ran toward the
old man and went up his pantaloons leg
through the waistband of his breeches
and out of his shirt-bosom. The snake
went also up the old mans pam
falcons, got to the waistband, where he
was prevented from making the trip the
lizard did; but, as the next best strategic
fell back and went up on the
outside of the pantaloons, got on the
mans sh boulder, saw the lizard make his
exit and jumped down and caught it. 1t
was all done so quickly that MIR. English
hadn't time to get scared. .''-SaUannah
GU Meas.
RuSSTap nara.nay;I