West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1877-10-27
EVERYDAY SPICERIES.

BURLINGTON Hdtck- Eye; A mosuuito
cannot fly as high as an eagle, but he
can bully all the Christian graces out of
a man great deal quicker.
SACKvILLE Bordcrer: An exchange
says that a woman's foot is onc-sixth of
her stature. IL this bc true, we have
some mighty tall women in this locality,
judging 10y some of the tracks in tho
mud
AN old gentleman having stated TO
some Cuests that he preferred n magic
lantern entertainment To any other, his
little daughter explained: That's
because he does not have 10 put on
clean shirt"
THERE is heap o nonsense about the
last rose of summer" Just examine
one and you'll find il full of flies and
worms, and smelling like burnt boot.
TURNER'S FALLS Reporter; If live
men were the recipients of half as much
Just praise as il bestowed on those who
have gone over with the silent majority,
wo fancy that this world wouldn't be
such confounded thistle-patch.
EAsToN FREE Press: The time APP
proaches when the prevailing young
woman shall discover that she Is suffer
ing for autumn leaves and young man
to pilot her through the pathless forest.
New YoRK Graphic: Before they
are married she will carefully turn down
his coat collar when IL gets awry, but
after that she'll jerk il down into
position as If she were throwing door
mat out of the window.
ONE summer night--the sun was bright,
The trees looked down upon the stars,
The frogs sang gayIy from their nests
Aud graceful danced the jaguars
The topaz brook flowed through the sky,
The green moon winkcd from the ruby vale
The worm came out aud caught u bird,
And proudly bluhhed the waysdc rail.
The pump hogan 10 hum a tune
A high, old hi-la-ri-ous tune,
Aud on the peach-ied tambourinc
Most Swectly played the hug Of June.
The chickens ON their hind legs pIanccd,
The squash turned round with stunning whz-
There's something wrong about this song,
think-~in fact, I'm sure there Isl
A TRAMP applied 10 lady in Des-
Moines for something to eat, and to the
inquiry why he didn't go to work, said
there was not any chance to work at his
trade now. The lady asked him what
his trade was. Shoveling snow" was
the confident answer. He got his
dinner.
IF science is correct about the mos
why does any man wear holes in his
flesh and ill his soul with wickcdness
trying to sleep on boarding house mat
and fill the sack with down.
NEW YoRK Graphite: Suleman
Pasha was formerly soapfat man on
Baxter Street, in this city, and dined at
the free "soup-houscs." He went To
Turkey and registered an awful oath
that he would win fame and gold. The
attention of tramps should be urgently
invited 10 this. Turkey is the place to
go to grow up with the country.
New YoRK's new penny paper the
Repubiic, will not have lived in vain if il
should not survive another day. Its
issue Of Tuesday throws some light on
subject Of interest to all men. That
" Mary had little lamb" is n univer-
sally accepted axiom. The RepuJHc tells
where she had il. IL was at dinner.
Puck says: The young man feels the
keen wind of autumn whistling through
his striped suit, and he feels that the
year is passing with rapid steps into the
caveTnOus tomb Of the ages. But he
smiles as he walks out with the maiden
Of his choice, for he knows that the ice
cream saloon is closed, and the proprietor
has gone into the barber business for the
winter.
HAVE you taken your pilIP' asked
the doctor, brusquely. eyes, have"
answered Spilkins, meekly, but it's
awful hard work TO keep il down"
Must keep IL down, sir. Must keep il
down" 81 know, doctor, that's all
very we'll but ! tell you, it's hp-pill
work replied Spilkins, whereupon the
doctor at once prescribed two more, and