Middletown transcript., 1877-03-17

A plain-spOken woman recently visited a
married acquaintance, and said to her: 'HoW
do you contrive to amnse yourselff a
muse I" said the other, starting, "do you
not know that have my homework 10 do n
eyes" was the answer, 81 see you have it to
do; but as it's never done / conclude you
must have some other way Of passing your
time"
ENVELOPES of all sizes, and letter heads with
business cards, furnished, very cheap at the
TRANsoRIPT Office.
New No. 2 and Mackerel. in barrels, half
barrels and kits, New Split Labrador Herring
in barrels and half barrels, just received at
ELIAS0N BROS.
II was at the funeral of the head Of fam
lily. A neighbor in the churchyard, while
the service was going on inside, was speaking
of the dead man, and took advantage OF the
opportunity 10 observe, in tone of subdued
sympathy, "An' had just got in his coal and
potatoes for the winter. 1t is sad case.
Babbit Soda, 3 cents per paper, and Coffee
- ELIAsoN BROS.
Ladies 2-Button KID GLOVES, all cOlors,
Dqrrqnted Every pair that rips or burrs, ez-
changed for new ones. 81 per pair.
s. NJ. Reynolds.
aBarber," said q farmer to his tOnsor,
''now corn's cheap, you ought to shave for
half price" "Can't, Mr.. JONES'" said the
man of the razors. 81 really ought to charge
more, for when corn's down the farmers make
such long faces that have twice the ground
to 60 over"
A full line of Alpaca and Poplin Lustre's,
at ELIASON BROS.
Slocomb Mince Meat, Cranbsrries. Raisins,
Citron, Prunes, etc., at .
"Ma" said little boy, ''the meejum man
says that the spirit of pa is comm back
"Nonsense," exclaimed the widow, she never
had spirit enough to make the journey be-
tween the two worlds ttOies. He wouldn't
have done it even once if he could have
helped it."
Clark's o. N. t. Spool Cotton. 6s cents per
dozen, at ELIAS0N BROS.
DON'T FAIL to see the "ECoNoMY
CuFFEE PoT" at Eliason & Benson's. the
most economical coffee pot ever manu-
factursd.
A choice Rio Coffee, green, 25 cents, roast
ed 80 cents, oAsH, at S. N. REYNOLDS.
It is difficult to explain the workings Of the
youthful mind A boy who will listen indif-
ferently to the sublimest truths of theology,
will be aroused to the acutest interest by the
progress of caterpillar over the collar Of q
bald-hesded man in the pew in front Of him.
"Gone to the bottom, y Ladies' Fine Moroc-
co Sewed Shoes, 81 per pair, at
New No. l, 2, L Mackerel in barrels, hal
barrels, quarters and kits; New Split Labra-
dor Herring in barrels and half barrels, just
TIE FIRST ARcHITEcT.-"Who built the first
house 2' asked an ambitious schoolmistress
of bright little girl on examination day
al don't know, ma'am, but think Noah
did" ''Why do you think so, my dear o.
"Because he's the FIRST ark-itect we read Of. -
A splendid assortment of Gents Fine Cali
Boots and Alexis Buckle Shoes, at
ELIASON BROS.
Hams, Shoulders, Sides, Beef (smoked), at
S. N. REYNOLDS.
We once knew man who said to his pas
tor 81 am going to the other church after
this" 'Ah, and why so ~ asked the min
lister. "Well, if you don't get your shoes
made at my shop, won't get my preaching
done al yours" So be went of.
UO2C our stock of Ladies' Silk Ties and
Handkerchiefs, at ELIASON BROS.
A FRESH INVOICE, Bethlehem Buck
wheat Flour and Oat Meal. Griis, the best
in the market. For sale by
S. N. REYNOLDS.
''My articles do not receive q very warm re-
ception Of late" wrote lady to the conduc-
tor of a monthly magazine. sour fair cor
respondent is mistaken" replied the editor
''they meet with the warmest reception pos
sible. We burn them all.
Gents Fine Balbriggan Half Hose, Silk
Handksrchiefs, Scarfs, Ties and Bows in great
variety, at ELlASoN BROS.
Star Skirt Braids cents Cash, at
S. M. REYNOLDS.
''Board by the day or week." muttered
young Tinkerson. as he glanced at a placard
in window, ''Well, you can get bored by
the hour where | live The landlord
daughter plays the piano and recites poetry
in the parlor every evening"
A Choice Rio Roasted Coffee, at 25 cts pei
pound, at ELIASUN BROS.
Mems fine calf Dress Boots double and sin.
gle sole, at 81 90, 4 so and 90. Also. call
Congress Caters at 81 %, so, l rs, 2 90
3 90 and 90, at s. NJ. REYNOLDS.
A little girl who was sent for some indigo,
forgetting the name, asked the grocer,
please, sir, what do people dye with ?''
"Why. with the cholera, sometimes. "
''Then," said the child, ''mother wants
twenty-five cents worth of cholera"
Just received splendid line of Hamburg
Edging, from to so cents per yard, at
ELIAS0N BROS.
Clark's best Spool Cotton. cents per Spool
or 20 cents per dozen Cash, at
S. NJ. REYNOLDS.
"Triplets," said a doctor, sententiously
The husband of a year rushed ont on the
back porch, thought upon his slender in
come, glared upon the snow-clad yard and
exclaimed with 8 wild, mocking laugh
''Son-struck in January"
Ladies' Two Button Kid Gloves, all colors,
90 cents per pair at ELIASON BROS.
One bale of heavy twilled Gray Flannels at
% cents, same goods sold last season at 373
cents. s. NJ. REYNOLDS.
An old epitaph in the churchyard at Bed
lington, Northumberland, reads:
Poems and epitaphs are but stuff;
Here lies Robert Brass, that's enough"
Choice Brands Chewing and Smoking To-
bacco, Fine Cigars and Cigarettes, for sale at
ELIAS0N BROS.
Buffalo Robes, Horse Blankets, Carriage
Whips, in stock and for sale by
S. NJ. REYNOLDS.
Brown, meeting Jones, bis friend, and see
ing him look very miserable, said, "Hello,
old man Why, you've face just fit for a
funerall" $50 l ought to have" replied
Jones, considering I've just had an execu-
ton in my house P
Ladies' Cashmere Slippers, So cts per pair,
at ELIAS0N BROS.