davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

To PREVENT ACCIDENT.-There was re-
Gently trial for murder in Ireland, in
which the evidence was so palpably insult
ficient that the Judge stopped the case, and
directed the jury to return a verdict of Not
guilty" A well known lawyer, however,
who wished to do something for the fee he
had received from the defendant, claimed the
privilege of addressing the Court. "We'll
hear you with pleasure, Mr.. B." said
the Judge; "but to prevent accident, well
!. first acquit the prisoner"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25
AT the New York Farmers Club a farme

Az INC NeW ioih rhuefs Cluu iaihoi
having experience with chestnut posts said
that he had found that chestnut posts of
young timber lasted much longer than old /;
that those set top end down will last nearly,
if not twice as long as those set butt end
down. Also, that smaller posts, say three to
four inches in diameter, outlast larger posts.
The best size for enduring is from four to
eight inches in diameter; the larger sizes
above five inches to be split.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

Mr.. Harry Erskine, who succeeded Mr..
Henry Dundas, afterward Lord Melville, as
Lord Advocate of Scotland, happening to
have female client of the name of Tickle
defendant in an action, commenced his
speech in the following humorous strain ;
Tickle, my client, the defendant, my Lord. F"
The auditors, amused with the oddity of the
speech, were almost driven into Mysteries by
the Judge replying, "Tckle her yourself.
Harry, you are as able to do it as |. y
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25
SAFE AND SURE.

MIR. TT. X, STEVENS;
In 1879 your Vegetine was recommended to me,
and yielding to the persuaslons OF friendI consent
ed to try II. At the time, ] was suffering from
general debility and nervous prostrations sGperin-
duced by overwork and irregular habits. Its won
derful strengthening and curative properties
ed to AFFECT my debilitated system from the first
dose, and under its persistent use rapidly recov-
cred, gaining more than usual health and good feel
ing. Since then have not hesltated to give Vege-
tine my most unqualified Endorsement as being
safe, sure and powerful agent in promoting health
and restoring the wasted system to new life and
energy vegetine is the only medicine use and as
long as live never expect TO find a better
Yours truly, w. ii. CLARK,
1870 Monterey Street, Allegheny, Pa
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

Boston Trareler "Faix, thim's moighty
hard tonnes entirely" remarked the Tattooed
Greek to the Wild Man, the other evening,
"an' fwhat wild Moody an Sankey an other
divarshuns takin' the people away, they do
be gettin' worse, I'm thinkin." "Dafs so,
boss" replied the Wild Man" dis chile don't
reckomember sich period OBJ expreshun in
de course of previous 'sperience."
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

There have been plenty of Indian braves
at the Exhibition, but the first genuine
feathered, moccasined deer-skinned squaw
made her appearance yesterday. That she
was thoroughbred member of Sitting Bulls
family was put beyond doubt when she yell.
ed at an urchin who stealthily pulled a
feather from her head-dress. Dad luck to
ye, ye pale-faced spalpeen-." Here
she recovered her native tongue. "Ugh p
she exclaimed, clenching ponderous fist
"bad little brave"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

If you desire keeping the grass from COW
ering up the pavement and choking up the
gutter, simply make strong brine and
when the weeds first appear, salt them down
This done a few times will completely de-
stroy them and save considerable hard worl
during the summer.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

hre private theatricals, the following ex-
tracts from fair corespendepts letter will
be found interesting: "Of course, dear, no
one would be the messenger what amateur
ever would be?l so at last we had to i'm
press one of the footmen into the service I;
but the stupid thing instead of rushing out
and shouting, My lord, Jeanne d. Arc has
been executed, with fire and stake, in the
market place in Rouen = walked on just as
if he were announcing luncheon, and drawl-
ed out, ,"M'lud, Johnnie Dark as bin execu-
ted frying steak in the market-place il
ruins."
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

A Norwich man has invented plan in
three parts by which no one need lose his
life in burning hotel. The first part states
that man should never stop at hotel.
Omitting the other two parts, the plan is
generally considered success.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

Owls are of immense service as yermin
destroyers. An English gamekeeper found
an owls nest with one young bird in it. He
visited it for thirty consecutive mornings,
and in that time removed from it lO5 rats,
49, mice, II shrew mice, robbins, and l
sparrow. This was, and we'll it might have
been, over and above what the owls con.
sumption demanded.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

3D., A poor woman went to an eminent but
eccentric surgeon to inquire what was the
proper treatment for some bodily wound.
"Put on cataplasm," was the answer.
"But, doctor, it's for child. Then put
ON kittenplasm."
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

Our readers will thank us for the follow
ing sure preventive against hydrophobia in
dogs "Boil three tablespoonsiul of salt and
an ounce of carbolic powder in pint of wa
ter, squeeze in lemon, and then let piece
of meat simmer in the mixture to give it
an attractive taste. Take out the meat, and
put the liquor in a cool place. Then while
the remedy is cooling lead the dog
out behind the barn and shoot him between
the eyes with Remington rife. One pint
of the liquor will be found enough for 100
dogs.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

Col. Brady, notorious gambler, the other
day met friend who accosted him with I:
''How are you Colonel? How have you
been of late ?" ooh l have had great mis-
fortune" replied the Colonel 81 have lost
Mrs. Brady" Show did you lose her." was
the next question, sat euchre or pokerW
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

'But pass" said minister up town
last Sunday, in dsmissing one theme of his
subject to take up another. Then | make
it spades r' yelled man from the gallery
who was dreaming the happy hours away in
an imaginary game of euchre.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

An assistant of a druggist recently put up
a prescription OF dose of castor oil for
young lady. She innoce entity inquired how
it could be taken without testing it. He
promised to explain to her, and, in the
mean time, offered her, courteously, glass
of favored and scented seltzer water After
she had finished it, he said triumphantly,
"You see, miss, you have taken your oil and
YOU did not know it." The young lady
screamed out. at was for my mother p
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

A man in Kentucky was found dead with
several bullet holes in his head, and the
astute jury summoned to hold an inquest re-
turned a verdict of "death from undue ex-
citement."
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

A Wisconsin constable levied "on the
undivided half of a gray mule. lie wasn't
particular which end he took, and it was
thirteen days before he opened his eyes and
recogpized his wife.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

Alexis and his terrier went to photo
grapher's and were 'took" in every city
they visited. The Duke is easily distin-
guished from the terrier by his princNly air
and n standing collar
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

"what is bat?' asked contemporary.
As far as our education extends, a bat is a
thing to encourage cat to get off back
fence, and is composed of half brick.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

You can always detect bachelor by the
way he handles baby, but to be safe from
loss il is well to use borrowed baby in
making the experiment.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

Prof Proctor says the earth is growing
larger. We are glad to hear it, for real es-
tate has shrunk fearfuly in the past three
years
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

The present financial stringency was sadly
shown yesterday in the grievous failure OF a
drunken man to borrow quarter from
lamp-nost in Park Row.-N. Y Tribune.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

A San Francisco paper thus records
suicide: "He lies down with a shotgun and
hops into heaven with his brains upon his
right shoulder
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25
Humorous.

as the sun bubble asks an exchange
Let us soap not.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

Gen. Sevenyearitch would be the man to
bring the Russians up to the scratch.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

The young woman who said kissing was
like sewing machine because it seemed
good, evidently alluded to a sewing machine
with feller.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

Every year increases the size of the circus
as we'll as the sighs of those who cannot ai-
ford to attend.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

A Mr. Longtoe, of Cohoes, has been di-
vorced from his wife, We don't wonder he
has,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25

A. It. Stewart'say the best advertising mediums
he has ever found 'are the.od established organs Of
the two political parties at the several county seats
throughout the Union" "TheSe," he says "reach
every family of the least account in their several
countless and are more carefully read than any other
class OF journals" II Mr.. Stewards Judgment Is OF
value there is no diculty In deciding which paper
II is for the interest OF business men to advertise in
The COLUMBIA DEMOCRAT, upon which this paper Is
COLUMBIAN now enjoys wider circulation and
greater prosperity than 1t ever did, II goes week
ly into two thousand families in Columbia and ad-
Joining counties, and by most OF them Is read from
tn first to the last line. 1t is the only recognised
exponent of nearly 1ve thousand Democratic voters
in the county. 1t gives advertisements tasty dis
play, that makes them attractive TO Its patrons thus
ehsuring greater certainty that they will perase
them While its circulation is undoubtedly much the
largest In the county, the advertising rates OF the
COLUMBIAN are no higher than those OF ether papers
with barely half and several not Onefourth the num-
Der OF subscribers Facts like these speak for them
selves. No shrewd business man win neglect to In
sert his advertisements In the COLUMBIAN II
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1877-05-25
VEGETINE.

ThOIlNlnUS VIII DellT IeSIIHOny (anU DO It VOLUME
tarily) that Vegetne is the best medical compound
yet placed before the public for renOvating and pur-
Tying the blood, eradlcatng all humorous Impurities
or poisonous secretons from the system, invlgOra-
ting and strengthening the system debllitated by
disease In fact It is as many have called It, "The
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1877-04-05
Deaths.

Near Staunton, March 23d, of dropsy, Mrs. VIM
Swink.
Died, in Staunton, of old age, on March 28th,
Mr. Daniel Wh1sman, aged So years.
Near Staunton, on March 27th. OF Pneumonia
Mrs. Diana Hupman, wife of D. Hupman, aged II
years.
Near Moscow, at the residence of j. A. Carson,
month and 20 days.
On the 18th inst, at the residence of Thomas
Calbreath, Mrs. Margaret Wine, widow OF Jacob
Wine, in the 18th year OF her age.
At the residence of Mr.. q. W. Bowers, on the
9Th ult Mrs. Cassandra Cash, wife of John H.
Cash, aged 30 years.
At the residence Of his father, DR.. John A. Me-
Chung, in Fairfield, on the 22d ult, Edmund
McClung, in the 22nd year OF his age.
At the residence of her son, Adam Stark. near
Forestville, Shenandoah county. March 26th, 1877,
Eve Stark, in the seth year of his age.
Near State Line, Nd, on Monday, the 10th ult..
Ida Hoover, daughter of Henry and Phoba j.
Hoover, aged years, months and 10 days
At the residence of his brother j. S. Harlan at
Breckinridge. stephens county, Texas. of Chron
ic Brochitis DR.. s. G. Harlan, in the 57th year of
his age.
At the home of his parents. in Rockingham Co..
on Tuesday evening March both, of consumption,
John H. keran, aged II years and months
youngest son OF VIM. NJ and Ann R. Keran.
At his residence, about four miles west Of
Staunton, on the I'd inst, Mr.. David Happman.
aged 81 years.
Mrs Dicey Huppman. the wife of the deceased.
was buried on the 2Sth ult., aged rs years.
At Montgomery Hall, near Staunion, April 18th
Mrs NJ. S. Peck, reIict OF John Peck, formerly OF
Brooklyn, N Y, and daughter of Thomas R. Gold,
of Whitestown, Oneida Co., N. Y, aged So.
On Muddy Creek, on the 9th OF March. of
whooping cough and pneumonia, Charles Edward,
son OF Gordon r. and Fyancis Marcel, aged )
years, mouths and q days,
In Portland, Oregon, ON the 9Th ALT, Henry M,
Ralston aged 43 years. He was q son of Jacob
Ralston, OF Rockingham county, and emigrated to
Oregon in 1861.
At his residence at Broadway, Rockingham Co.
after an illness OF one week, Samuel Pence aged
about 81 years He was good Citizen and accep-
table member OF the Lutheran church.
On Tuesday last, very suddenly, Mrs Roller
widow Of Col Peter Roller, She was apparently
in her usual health and while in the act Of reach
ing for some article above her head she sank
down, and in few minutes was dead
On Tuesday last, Mr.. David Ralston of Rocking
ham, an old citizen, died in the vicinity of Anti
och,
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1877-04-05
M02,rt0Qes.

In Washington City, March Goth, Mr.. Hugh L.
Gallaher. OF Waynesboro, to Miss Mary Bell An
trim. daughter of the late Mai. Geo T. Antrim, of
the same town.
At the residence of Mrs. Ursula Hunsicker, Lu-
ray, Va. by Rev. John Watson, Mr.. VIM. H. Gil
ser to Miss Sarah Tutwiler-all of Page.
AT Spring Hill, March 18th, Mr. Michael S. Cline
dinst and Miss Lucy v. Lambert, daughter OF
Adam Lambert, Esq.
klNear Arbor Hill, March .26th, by Rev. A. ].
Bushong, Mr.. James c. Nutty and Miss Fannie A.
daughter of William Montgomery Esq.
Near CIR eenville, March 28th, Mr.. Erasmus H.
Harris and Miss Mary E., daughter Of Samuel
Painter, Esq.
On Wednesday evening. March 28th, by Rev.
Harriet E. Painter, all OF Staunton.
On the ED of March, at Laurel Hill Church, by
Rev. John H. Taylor, Mr.. James F Smith to Miss
Elizabeth J. Clark, both of Augusta county.
In Stanton, March 9th at the residence of the
brides mother by Rev. DR.. Charles Manly Mr..
N. M. Warner, formerly of Lexington, Va, to Miss
Mollie e. Grove, of Staunton, Va.
On Tuesday, March eth. at the residence of the
Dr1de's parents near New Market, Va, by Rev.
s. Henkel Rev. John W. Hausenfuck, of New
Market, Va, formerly near Woodstock) and Miss
Katie Lorh, OF Rockingham county.
AT Orlando, Orange county, Florida, on the 3rd.
MI j. Letcher Bryan, formerly OF this city, and
son OF VIM M Bryan, Esq, was married to Miss
Alice Maddox, daughter OF 7. I. Maddox, of Or
lando. "a "
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1877-04-05

THE VIRGINIA WHISKY BELL.PUNCH.-
The Richmond Enquirer gives the following
description OF the continuance for registering
drinks proposed for use in the bar-rooms OF
this State g The device consists of a wooden
box about II inches long, s inches wide, and
6 or inches in height, resembling il large
sized coffee-mlll. At one end there is a
crank operating the wheels inside, and on
one side three visible dials, identical with
those used in gas meters. One turn of the
crank sounds a bell inside, and causes one
movement of the indicator on the first dial.
Every turn produces Il similar effect until
the indicator has made complete revolution
on its axis, when one is scored by the ndi-
Gator on the next dial, and so on, as in meas
uring the consumption of gas. A glance at
the dials will enable the observer to find out
the maximum number of times the crank has
been turned. The bill requires the register
to be permanently fixed to The bar, counter,
or other convenient place, and it is to be
locked and sealed by the Commissioner of
the Revenue, whose duty it will be to inspect
it from time to time and keep it in running
order. A heavy fine is imposed on any per-
son who Hampers in any way with this won
derful machine. If a drunken fellow should
mistake the register for hand organ, and
attempt to grind a tune tut of it, he will fluid
that his fun will cost him dearly and also
subject him to Imprisonment. The inventor
has contracted in writing that he will make
no charge against the State for the use of his
device.''
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1877-04-05
South Carolina.
The Washington correspondent Of tile
New York Tribune of the LIST. saws:

The Washington correspondent OF tie
New York Tribune of the LIST. says:
The South Carolina difficulties were prac-
tically settled too day at the Cabinet meeting
by formal decision to direct the removal
of the United States troops from the State
house at Columbia. The precise time when
the troops shall be removed was not decided
upon, but it is understood the order will be
issued after Chamberlain and HAMPTON shall
have returned to South Carolina. The troops
will not be removed from the State, but will
be sent to their garrison or camp, in the vi
entity of Columbia, and will be used to sup
press any violence that may occur pending
the settlement Of the controversy by the
State authorities. 1t is not believed, howev-
er, that any emergency will arise requiring
the service Of the troops after they have beer.
removed from the State-house. The Pre>-
dent would not consent to the proposition to
withdraw the troo ps from the State, because
that might be regarded as an admission that
ne has not. as Commander in Chief, the
right to order and hold the troops in any To-
cality that in his judgment the public interests
may require. But while contending for this
principle, the President has 10 desire to ex-
ercise any authority over The local affairs of a
State and use the Army to guard the public
property of a State to the exclusion of any
class of its citizens. The troops. therefore,
will be maintained in South Carolina at such
points as may in the judgment OF the Presi-
dent require their presence, but they will
not be used as a factor in any controversy
between the local authorities, and will be
held subject to the civil authority to repress
riot and disorder.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1877-04-05

HANDSOME CONTRIBUTION Rich
mond Enquirer says The clergymen of the
Catholic diocese of Richmond have respond
ed to the circular letter issued by Bishop
Gibbons last month, in relation to joining
with the Catholic world in concentrating
the fiftieth anniversary Of the episcopal con-
secration OF Pope Plus TX, which occurs on
the 2lst of May next. The contributions
forwarded from the various congregations,
twenty-five in number, to Rev. F. Janssens,
secretary of the diocese, aggregate the hand
some sum of Sl,779.62, which amount will
be forwarded to the Holy Father, together
with the names of tile donors.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1877-04-05

The CANAL BILL.-Gov. Kemper vetoed
the bill passed by the Legislature for the
construction of the canal from Buchanan to
Clifton Forge, by Messrs. Mason, Shauallan
and Randolph. Subsequently the Senate
passed bill for the construction of a rail-
road between the points named. 1t came up
in the House on Tuesday. Mr.. Stuart Of
fered q substitute, which provides for the
extension of the canal by a water connec-
ton by the Board of Public Works with the
consent of the company, under the direction
of competent engineer. After heated
debate, the substitute was adopted by a vote
of 50 to 80.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1877-04-05

Extensive damage mas been caused in the
larger portion of the southwestern pal OF
Chicago, and some distance out into the
country, by a heavy food, the result Of the
storm which has prevailed there for several
days. In several places the first floors of the
houses were submerged, and the people have
been making their way about in boats and
RATS improvised from the floating timber.
tained
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1877-04-05
swAUNr0N ssgARREV. ApR1L5. 1877.
CORRECTED WEEKLY BY c A. RICHARDSON.
WHOLESALE PRICES.
ALExANpn1A, V1Re1NIA, March 2ath, \

ALEXAND RIA, VIRGINIA, March 23tIl, l377.-
Flour is in limited receipt, with good demand,
and prices are stiff at quotations, with an upward
tendency. Wheat has considerably advanced, and
sales were made to-day at 168, being Jump of SC
since yesterday; offerings of Sil bushels with
other sales at 158al65. Corn continues dull, and
we quote at 48a50, the latter price, however, for
strictly choice lots; sales of 1880 bushels No sales
OF Rye reported with light offerings. Oats 43aH.
Country produce nominal, and but little coming
in. Glover Seed quiet.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1877-04-05
The decision of the President and cabine

The decision of the President and cabinet
in the South Carolina case substantially de-
termines the Louisiana case. Both States
will be turned over to the Democrats. 1t
remains to be seen how far they will carry out
their promises of respecting the laws and the
rights of citizens under the laws. Both
Hampton and Nichols have appointed color
ed men to Office, and have given the most
solemn assurance that the rights of all will
be impartial.y protected.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1877-04-05

The Gubernatorial contest is becoming
animated. 1"he most prominent candidates
mentioned for the Democratic nomination
are F. NJ. Holiday, of Winchester; ). W..
Daniel, of Lynchburg Gen. Malone, of Pc
tersburg, and Gen. Taliaferro, of Gloucester.
We predict that Malone will be the noni-
nee, or a split in the party. The Republi-
cans will not nominate a candidate
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1877-04-05

The Richmond Dispatch begins to see that
the claims of Hayes to the Presidency and
Packard to the Goyernorship of Louisiana
ere entirely different things. 1t requires no
great eaepEal effort for an impartial mind to
arrive at ,thst .Gqnclusion, but it is something
novel for Democrat 70 admit it.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1877-04-05

The Grant Hotel, .at Wheeling, W. Va,
was burned Gu the Both. Very little Of the
furniture was saved. and the inmates made
a narrow escape. Total loss $lG0, 000-in-
sured for $4,000. The fire was the work OF
an incendiary.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1877-04-05

THE TIDAL WAvE.-The Republicans in
the municipal election in Cincinnati, on
Monday last, redeemed che city from Demo-
cratic rule and elected their ticket by major
tiles ranging from 1000 to 4,0O0-about the
same as the Democratic majorities last year.
AT Cleveland and Toledo, Ohio, the Re
publicans carried everything.
Chicago has gone largely Republican.