The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-11-03
Putting Up That Shelf.


"Henry Archibald, doyou ever intend
to put that shelf up in the cellar, Or has
a body got to stump their toes over pre-
serve jars all their life every time they
go down in that dismal hole, anyhow"
Henry leaned back from the breakfast
table. He was feeling the beneficial eff
fects of a pound of sausage placed where
it had the best effect, and, looking be-
nignly upon the dear aggravation of his
life, he observed:
did you say you wanted shelf"
eyes, did, about hundred times,
and you know it, too" and there was a
presentiment of wrath in her accents.
81 thought put you up shelf only a
few years ago"
Gracious powers, man, that was
when Martha was a baby, and now she
can wear my shoes"
"Ya-a-s, and turn around in 'em, too"
CHOW don't you dare for to go for to
agrivoke me, Henry Archibald" and she
shook a fateful forefnger forninst him.
Not drop O. sleep or wink to eat
shall your bones see tonight, till that
shelf is put Now, you mind that"
"Well, where's board" and Henry
looked vaguely out into the yard, pick
ing his teeth.
"Here's board I've been savin' ever
so long," and Mrs. A. dragged her white
pine treasure out from behind the wash
house.
"Ain't got no nails" and Henry turned
the board up on its edge and sighted
along it critically.
ON find you nails, you shan't have
that for an excuse to get out of work, "
and she disappeared into the garnet,
while Henry took the paper and com
menced an article on the Source of the
Amazon" Just as he was coming to the
conclusion that it didn't mean the origin
of Mrs. Archibald, that lady appeared.
Here, young man; no goin' to sleep
over that old paper now. Get to work. u
Where's any hatchet?"
"Here it Isl" and she pranced out to
the wood shed after it, then she cantered
over to Peel's and borrowed a saw and
carried all the things in the cellar, talk.
ing veheminously all the time and get
ting in high good humor at the prospect
of the shelf going up rapidly.
Come now, dear, the things are al
ready for you"
Then Henry went down and looked
deeply interested, while she showed how
she wanted the hangers made, and nailed
them together. Then he held them W
while she nailed them on the joists
Then he helped her lift the shelf int
position, and sat down on a washtub will
an exhausted air To cOntemDlatp fine ner
feet work.
81 think made pretty good job o
that, considerin'," he remarked com
placently.
Mrs. A. was standing on her tip-toes
straining every muscle to drive tina
nail in one of the hangers, and just thei
the Ratchet emphasized itself on her lief
thumb nail, and all the milk of human
kindness in her system turned into smear
case. Henry chuckled fOolishly as sh
dropped the Ratchet on her most sacre,
bunion, and as he fed through the opel
cellar way into the street he had visio
of crazy woman chewing her left thum
and singing jar of preserved plum
with her right hand. 1t caught him o
the top OF the head, 3pd 9Esaski9aGu gR3ee
juice impartially over his face and dow,
his neck. The next thing he knew, h
was in the arms of policeman at tn
corner, in whose ears ne yelled hyster
ically:
Take me in; take me in quick, tel
you. l haven't got ten feet the start O
eternal punishment. "-EaSt0n Free Press