The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-03-10
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

tKEhM VI UUN EACllNNULo.
The Chicago board Of trade held secret SEES
sion on Monday evening to cogitate over the
following newspaper item:
A Canada "speculator has been reaping a
harvest in this wise He stole six hogs at owen
Sound and sold them ct Clifford sole thein
again and sold them at Brussels; stole them
again. together with q few bags of wheat, ana
sold them to Il pork-packing establishment ID
Listowel, where they were Immediately siaught'
cred and cut up, and thus rendered 50 ineoh'cn-
lent for transportation that they were LETT alone
He made net profit Of about three huhu'cu
and fifty dollars on all these operations
The question was whether they should oheF
the presidency of the Board to this CANADIAN OF
to Joe Bradley.
Mr.. Sturgeon, speaking OF clerical throats
saws: 81 have heard surgeons affirm that DIS
senting bronchitis differs from the Church OF
England article. There is an ecclesiastical
twsrg which is much admired in the Establish
ment-a sort of steeplen the throat grandeur
an aristocratic theoogic, parsonic, supernatu
raj, mira human mounting Of language and roll
ing over OF words"
The poets are making the most OF Simon Cam
eron's little love affair, in this wise;
Simple Simon,
Tilted Hymen,
But, at seventy. eight,
Wooed widow,
Yes he did, oh
AT the Treasury gate. t..
Then the widow
TO him said, "Oh,
Let me see your money
And the Senate
For a minute
Shouted, "Oh. ho. he. ho. no. ho.ho hoo
O.o-o-o-o-o-o-hu! It's funny!
The Louisiana rascals in Washington are near
ly all in very poor health. This Is ominous; ac-
co.dlsg to Homer the terrible pestilence which
smote the Greeks before the walls OF Troy be-
gan with the mules and hogs.
The famous gorilla that $50 endearcd itself
to the people OF Berlin as Moneure Conway
explains 1t, is dead, and the cause OF its death
was that having seen its master unfastcn pad
lock, it attempted the same feat, but failed,
though trying for hours and day after day. This
wore upon it so that its mind finally gave way
and it died from the mental strain. What an
awful lesson, says the N. Y. World, this conveys
to the Republican editors who are attempting
TO prove that Hayes was elected president OF
Of the United States.
There lie a mighty Significance in that "f";
II we had had Davis
Davis would have saved US;
But since IL was Bradley
Scooped" we are badly
Oh, had we a Dave
Our cause he could save
But having had Joe
We haven't a show"
Thus fixed is our fate
BY seven to eight
Tha Rurlinpion Huplei,e relatps the fnlluWinp
touching incident: ...
About two weeks ago q young lady broke
through the ice of u deep skating pond near To
ronto, and young man rescued her at the risk
Of his own life. As the halfdrowncd girl was
recovering consciousness her agoniZed father
arrived on the spot. Taking one Of her cold,
white hands in one Of his own, he reached out
the other for the hand OF her rescuer, but the
young man, realizing his danger, with one
frightened glance broke for the woods, and was
soon lost to view. He has not been heard OF
since, and it is supposed that he is travelling in
the United States under the false aud hollow
name Of Smith
A Peru photographer, according to the Herald,
requires his lady patrons, on taking their seats,
10 to compose their countcnances to a bland
and severe character" by saying over mentally
the word BOSOM" or If they wish to assume a
sweet and noble, digni6ed bearing, they are to
use the word brush" Several ladies' have al.
ready died in the effort to look "severe and
bland" at the same time, and it is thought the
photographer is undertaking too much.
The following used to be one of Sankey's most
effective hymns, but he Is not allowed to sing it
at Boston on account Of Its manifest adaptation
TO the republican presidential larceny:
Sowing the seed by the DAYLIGHT fair
Sowing the seed by the MONDAY glare,
Sowing the seed by the fading light,
Sowing the seed in the solemn night
oh, what shall the harvest be!
Sown 10 the darkness or sown in the light,
Sown in our weakness or sown In our might, |
Gathered in time or eternity,
Sure, an! sure, will the harvest be,
Oh, what shall the harvest be:
Sowing the seed OF a lingering pain,
Sowing the seed OF II maddened brain,
Sowing the seed Of u furnished name,
Sowing the seed Of eternal shame
Oh, what shall the harvest bey
The San Francisco clergy, having discussed
the best method Of making pastoral vista
tons" unanimously condemned the practice OF
entering Pensioners premises over rear fences.
The young man who makes up the headlines
for the Boston Hc,aH rather startled the public |
the other morning by coming out strong on a
Terrible, Hcartrending Disaster An Awful
Flood and Whole Country Submerged Latest
Telegraphlc Particulars from the Scene of the |
Disaster" The startling headlines had been
placed over one OF MOody's sermons depicting
the Noachic food The young man in his haste
had mistaken il for a cable dispatch,
From the Cincinnati EsquirD we clip the fol- |
lowing sweet thing:
MOTHER GOOSE NoDERNIzrp.
Simple Simon
Met Old Hymcn
With a widow fair
said Simple Simon
Unto Hymcn,
Let me taste your ware