The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1877-04-18
A Success full Dry Goods Clerk.

A successful dry-goods clerk is al
ways sure of employment. He will not
be obliged to stand any 'ssass' from
his employer; because, if his qualities
are known, he will be quickly snapped
up by thesrival ScOncern.
In order to be perfect success, he
! must, be- handsome. His mustache
Ought to curl. His eyes ought to be
BLACK. Ladies have an unaccountable
Iadmiration for black eyes.
1 His hands must be small and white
and soft, for in making change they
will som etimes accidental of course,
come in contact with those of his fair
customer, and it is important that he
should be delicate. He must by no
means have warts on them! We heard
lady say not long ago that she liked
the goods and prices at Jones & Jen-
klns', but the clerk had two such
dreadful warts on one of, his fingers
that she could not examine the cali
Goes for looking at them.
1t is yltally necessary that the dry
goods clerk should be a good figure,
and look well in shawl, for some
ladies have a playful habit of asking
him to transform himself into dunn
my and turn about at their command
with a Palsy, or a real Indian draped
over his broadcloth. So square Shout
ders are not az missable.
He ought to be good judge Of char
acter, so as to learn whether his Gus.
toner can be battered or not. Men do
not believe it, but it is fact neverthe-
less, that some women do not like to
be flattered.
He should have good teeth, that his
breath may be tolerable, for, when he
comes to putting down the price .to
cost, he wants to lean over his GUS
toner, and if his breath is unpleasant
he should chew cardamon seeds.
His patience should be in as large a
stock as the corn in Egypt, whittier
Joseph and his brethren went to buy.
He must never show irritation. No
matter if he is fairly ready to burst, he
must hold himself in, for the moment
he speaks irritably, that moment his
customers will desert him. They have
a right, they say, to courteous treat
ment. No matter how provokingly
they talk to the clerk, he must never
be tempted to reply in the same
strain. It will be death to his bust
ness. All his means of redress is to
put two or three per cent. on his price.
We heard very respectable dry.goods
clerk recently say that he had one lady
customer who always gave hin great
deal of extra trouble, and was very
fond OF intimating that he was trying
to cheat her, but could not; and said
he: 81 allow her to ENJOY her OWL pin.
ion, but I charge her 10 per cent. for
the privilege
A shrewd dry.goods clerk will make
1t appear to each lady with whom he
trades that she is bis especial favorite
customer. He will declare himself
readyto ruin the firm for her benefit.
He will make her understand that no
misfortune could befall him so deadly
as to have her go to another store for
spool of cotton.
It is good policy, if she be woman
of mind, for him to insinuate that it is
no use to try any of his little games on
her. They may do for other women
but not for her. She has too much
discrimination, and is too skillful a
judge of goods. Let her understand
that she ssknows what's what
He must be extremely careful in
dealing with ladies approaching mid
dle.age. He should never display to
such any sober-colored fabrics, or
make, by word or manner, the slight
est allusion to "people of your age,
madam" He should never speak DIS
couraging of blue, that color which all
ladies seem bewitched to wear, and
which. they think becoming probably
from the fact that there is not one
complexion in a hundred delicate
enough to wear blue successfully.
He must smile meaningly, almost
pityingly, when Jean & Corset, the RI
walls over the way are mentioned. And
it is well for him to say something
about bankrupt stock, and bought at
the cheap John auctions, when the
customer alludes to the fact that prints
are only ten cents over there, and
muslin can be bought at your own
price.
He should gather up her gloves and
parasol for her, accompany her to the
door. and assure her, in very low and
confidential tone of vOice-glancing
around the store meanwhile, as if he
feared some one might be listening
that he shall be so happy to have her
call again, and that she may be always
sure of obtaining goods at their very
lowest figure! Of course they could
not do SO with every one, but her
they will accommodate, if they ruin
themselves.
And though we are quite we'll
aware that the dry-goods clerk is lay
ing himself out to ensnare our judg-
ment and our money, it is to lis one of