Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1877-10-03
Huln0r.

Avoid that which you blame others
for doing" says one OF our wise men.
Well, things have come To a pretty pass
if man can't kiss his own wire.-OH
City Derrick
An agricultural society offered
premium for the best mode of irrica-
ton, which was printed irritation by
mistake An honest farmer sent his
wife to claim the prize.
What" asked n youth timidly OF an
eminent philologist, What, sir, is the
meaning of this phrase Modus oper-
andi ? and the great linguist, whose
mind was saturated with the literature
of ancient Greece and Rome, replied
1t Is Latin for How the old thing
works"
Mars has two moons, which naturally
suggests the question How the deuce is
a young fellow Of Mars going to walk
with his best girl along the shady side of
the avenue when moonbcams are con
Verging on every inch Of pavement from
two opposite objections?
Two men We're riding in the cars the
other morning, when one asked the 9th
en- if he had a pleasant place of resi-
dcncc. Yes, was the reply we have
seven nice large rooms over a store.
over q store | shouldn't think that
would be a quiet place" "Oh it is
quiet enough. The folks don't adyer-
! Use"
, Indu gent Husband (to dear little
/ y
But my darling, you will never be able
to wear them-they are flaming red T.
| Dear Little Wife IL know | can't
wear them, darling only bought them
! because they were so very cheap IN
dul ent Husband Humph !"
! A party were enjoying the evening
breeze ON board II yacht. "The wind
has made my moustachc taste quite
salt remarked a young man who had
been for some time occupied III biting
the hair that fell over his upper lip. Il
! know il, innocently said pretty girl
And she wondered why all her friends
laughed.
A young urchin Went into a hat store,
one day last week, and told the clerk
that he wanted II cap, ut the same time
putting two cents on the counter. He
was informed that the cheapest cap in
the store would cost twenty-five cents.
What" said the youngster, "thems
big enough for II cannon. ! only wants
one for a pistol.
1t was an enthusiastic fisherman. He
had caught Il hafdozcn black bass about
the size of sardincs and proudly placed
| the batch before Il farmer for inspec-
| ton. The Granger turned the little
| fishes over with the handle Of his knife
and, looking up in the face of the fish
erman, remarked III painful measured
syllabIes Wouldn't YOU have
cn-about-as-w ell-oh --if-you-
had-kcpt your-bait--an cooked
| it p Turner's Fail Reporter,
An insurance adjustcr went to see
| man whose house had been destroyed
by fire. Said Adjuster How did this
thing happen?' HORSEPOWER Don't
know-it's mystery" Adjuster
"Well, | know HORSEPOWER Lets
have it; that's Just what I'd like to
find OUT Aduster It's friction"
HORSEPOWER Friction - friction
What's that?" Adjuster why, fric-
ton is the result of rubbing II 900
policy on 5000 house. '-Nottamptop
Mass Gasete,
The corn-husks are thin, indicating
mild winter; the woods are full of
mast an unfailing sign of long, hard
winter; there are myriads Of spiders,
mild winter acres of catcrpillars hard
winter the squirrels are idle and list
less, mild winter; the squirrels are
noisy and busy, hard winter the goose
bone is white and gray, mild and hard
winter the woodchuck has gone in,
mild winter; the woodchuck stays out,
hard winter, 1t is, indeed, only ques-
| ton Of time when the system of wealth
| er representations will become one Of
the exact sciences.