The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1877-06-28
Mr.. Parker Buys n Broom.

! Mr.. Parker was not thinking of whisk-
/ brooms at all; he hadno need of whisk-
broom, and in fact he had always said
that he should never buy a whisk- broom,
as he thought clothes-brush much
preferable.
"a whisk- BROOM" said he last eve-
ming, "is all very we'll when you consider
it as a whisk- broom, but viewed in any
other light it is failure. Who ever
heard of ones brushing his hat, smooth
ing his hair or polishing his boots with a
whisk-broomP Now, with a clothes
brush one can perform all these opera
tions of the toilet; therefore," concluded
Mr.. Parker, "I shall never buy q whisk-
broom, but, ON the other hand, I shall
always invest my surplus capital in
clothes brushes"
Just as Mr.. Parker had concluded his
philosophical remarks an italian count
(in disguise, no doubt entered the room
with an Elizabethan ruff of whisk- k-brooms
about his neck.
"Buy broom? ?" chanted he like an
echo from the once popular song.
"Get out" said Mr.. Parker.
"Now," said the italian gentleman,
not disconnected in the least, "here We
haf Won uf de best brooms for onlee
seventee feet cent. Buy broom?"
81 wont, said Mr.. Parker; "seventy-
five cents is too much, besides you
couldn't give me one if you tried"
He is sheep at seventee feet cent. I
cannot sell him Sleeper as dat, )" said the
man, preparing to go.
Just then another disguised nobleman
entered, wearing another Elizabethan
ruff of whisk-brooms, and chanting in
another key: "Buy broom ?' The first
conner glared at his rival who returned
the compliment.
"Get OUT" said Mr.. Parker to the
newcomer. That gentleman smiled
pensNely, and, unlocking one of his
brooms, remarked: "Here is Won uf de
best brooms for onlee feefty cent. Buy
a broom?"
Mr.. Parker glanced at the broom. 1t
was Just such a one as the first man
wanted seventy-fve cents for.
$50 way" said Mr.. Parker, stoically
resisting the temptation to make bar
gain; 'get out, I don't want your
brooms."
"Dot man is Won tief," said Italian
number one. "I will sell you my broom
for thirtee-feef cent, and he cast glance
of triumph at the opposition. Mr.. Par
ker hesitated, and went so far as to ex-
anime the brooms.
"You sail haf de broom for thirtee
cent; dat robber sail not sell you de
BROOM" shouted italian number two.
Mr.. Parker fingered the two brooms.
Meanwhile the Italians shook their fists
at each other and exchanged personali-
ties. "You tief!' said one. "You rob-
ber!" said the other. "Liar % "Scoun-
drel!' Villain" Wretch!' Mr.. Par
ker began to grow excited. "I'm sure
to get bargain out of these fellows"
said he, "they're so mad" Then he
spoke in musing way: 81 don't know
but L might give twenty-five cents for
one of these brooms."
1T is ruin, said the first, rolling up
his eyes with pathos, I" it is starfation, it
is death, but you shall haf de broom for
twentee-feef cent" The second man
gnashed his teeth as Mr.. Parker handed
over the money, and then followed num-
Der one out of the door. When the two
got around the corner they leaned up
against the area ratings to laugh.
"Dat vas good idee, my brother, dat
you haf to get the old man excite" said
the second nobleman. "Vat vas de
broom wort ?"
"Feefteen cent" said the first man,
chuckling, and the partners in iniquity
went off together to work upon the
susceptibilities of some other philan-
thropist.