davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-09-06
A Mules Wonderful Kickery.

"Speaking about mules" remarked
six footer in Arkansas, as he cracked his
whip at market, "Pve got mule at
home which knows as much as / do, and
l want to hear somebody say l am half a
fool" No one said SO, and he went on.
"Pve stood around here and heard men
blow about kicking mules till Pve got
disguised. When you come down to
kicking, [ want to bet on my mule. A
friend came along and took dinner with
me the other day, and as he seemed
little down-hearted, I took him out to
see Thomas jefferson, my champion mule.
was telling the good man how that
mule would flop his feet around, and he
said he would like to see a little fun.
He'd passed his whole life in the South,
but had never seen a mule lay his whole
soul into big time at kicking. WE'LL"
he said, after borrowing some tobacco,
him up agin hill, gin him cuff ON the
ear, and we stood back to see the amuse-
ment. 1t was good place to kick his
durndest, and what dye s'pose he did ?
In ten minutes by the watch he was out
of sight. In five more we couldn't feel
him with twelve foot pole. and-and
=" The crowd began to yell and sneer,
and the narrator looked around and
asked: "Does anybody think Pm lying
Would l lie for one mule? Right here
under my arm is pound of tallow can
dies which are to light the hole for to &C
in after Thomas; and I got word not an
hour ago that the hind feet of mule
were sticking out of hill thirty-nine
miles as the bird flies from where my
mule went in. Pm shaky on religion
gentlemen, but our family never had a
| liar in itn
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-09-06
BREVITIES.

If you wish to cure brittle finger
nails, oil or grease them little before
going to bed, and after every washing of
the hands.
For durable and cheap paint for house
floors, dissolve one ounce of glue in
quart of warm water and thicken it with
paint. After putting this on, go over
it with coat of boiled linseed oil. 1t
will be dry and ready for use in two
hours.
Green clover makes better returns as
cattle food than the hay made from it,
because in the process of drying many
of its valuable particles are so hardened
that the digestive organs are unequal
to the task of assimilation. Steaming
clover hay improves its feeding quail
ties.
When 1 am shelling my seed corn,
says correspondent of the Ohio Farmer,
shell off the small end of the ear in a
vessel by itself, as | do not plant that
part of the ear. WhenI am ready to plant
| put whatever quantity of this refuse
corn ! have in vessel to soak. When /
have finished planting | throw this corn
in two or three spots in my field of
planted corn. Whenever | have done
this at the time mention, / have never
had a hill of corn pulled up by the crows.
But when | have neglected it until
my corn was up, they would continue to
pull it if | did not give them soaked
corn. l have often seen other birds as
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-09-06
SiStOYa.
Correspondence of the London Times. ]

Correspondence OF the London Times.
The little city of Sistova is much bet
ter built than the majority of Turkish
Danubian towns. Many of the buildings
are of stone, and the streets are uneven,
they are washed by every shower, and
are consequently not as odorous as other
Moslem cities
When l entered the Turkish quarter
of the town (Which had been deserted)
1 found that the pillagers had been there.
Turkish books and manuscripts Uttered
the streets; the Moslem houses and
shops were minus doors and windows,
and their interiors were empty. | en-
tered a mosque, and found little Bulgar-
ian children gathering firewood from the
mass of splintered woodwork which COW
cred the floor. The building had not
been seriously injured, but all light
and easily smashed articles were in
pieces.
Upon inquiry I found that Russian
soldiers and Bulgarian residents were
equally responsible for these vandalisms.
Had the Turkish inhabitants remained
in their residences [ am satisfied they
would have saved their property; but
no soldiers will respect empty houses
l have seen deserted villages entered
during the civil war in America and the
furniture destroyed in the most wanton
manner merely from the spirit of de
struction which is latent in every natioI
when they are in arms and in an enemy
country; and l am compelled to admi
that the presence of the owners did no
always save furniture or other valuable
during that fearful civil war. / am NJ
apologist for outrages committed by an,
one; but l only state what l have seel
in other countries, and attribute tn
plundering and smashing in the Turk1sl
quarter of Sistova to the general spiri
of mischief which pervades every arm,
in the world.
The Cadi of Sistova is the only Turl
that 1 heard of in town. He has bee
treated with all possible respect, and hi
house has been unmolested. / saw i
one of the streets of Sistova a compan
| of uniformed Bulgarians being drille
by Sergeant. What change in sly
teen days-the naughty Moslem fug
tive, his property scattered about tn
streets, and the serf, the despise
Giaour," drilling in the public streets
: Could there be more complete revolt
ton? The Bulgarian part of the city
better built and more comfortable in al
. pearance than the Turkish.
1 went into one of the Bulgaria
churches and found one of the mo-
beautifully carved wooden screens, CO
ering the whole end of the church, tn;
! [ have ever seen; the circular arch,
| supporting the gallery were very ligl
| and graceful, and the whole edifce r
; fected credit upon the taste, wealt
and liberality of the Bulgarians of ST
tOVo
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-09-06

well as crows come to get the soaked
corn until they would form a path
around the heap.
The cheapest meat for the farmer is
mutton. 1t may safely be said to cost
nothing, as the fleece from a good breed
will amply pay for its keeping. Then,
for additional profit there are lamb or
two, the pelt of the animal if killed at
home, the excellent manure from its
dropping, and the riddance of the pas
lures from weeds, to which sheep are de-
structives foes. With the exception of
poultry, mutton is also the most conven-
lent meat for the farmer. A sheep is
easily killed and dressed, by single
hand in an hour, and in the warm
est weather it can be readily dis
posed of before it spoils. Science and
experience both declare it the health
lest kind of meat, and a foolish preju-
dice alone prefers pork, which, whether
fresh or salt, is the unhealthiest of all.
When people gain more wisdom, farmers
will keep more sheep.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-09-06
HOME HINTS.

Mad DOgs.-To prevent madness from
breaking out in dogs, mix small por-
ton of the flour of sulphur with their
food or drink.
For Starching Linen.-Use one tea
spoonful powdered borax to one quart of
boiling starch; it will improve the stiff
ness and gloss.
Remedy for Whooping- -cough.-Two
thirds castor-oil, one-third syrup of
pecac. Dose: Half teaspoonful from
two to six hours apart, according to the
severity of the cough. Shake the mix
ture well before using. 1t is almost in
fallible.
To Crystalline Dried Grasses.-Take
one pound of powdered alum, pour on
two or three quarts of boiling water,
place the grasses in and let them remain
until the solution becomes cold and the
alumni crystallizes; do not move them
while crytallizing. Ittakes about twelve
hours.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-09-06
EnliSting a Lawyer.
IRochdale eng. } Observer. !


An old recruiting sergeant tells the fol-
lowing: Well, mind, now, this is as true
as gospel. 1t was on the 11th of MAY,
1920, I listed recruit in Dublin, and put
the question to him, as usual, and gave
barracks as fine as a fiddle. Well, in a
few days he was claimed as prentice,
and so he was had up before the Mayor,
at the following sizes was called as a
him told me that did not list him. 81
did," says 1. Did you put the question
to him rightly?' says he. "I did," says
l. "By the virtue of your oath, now,"
says he, "just ask me the questions for 1
don't believe you asked him" :" How
do you know@ says I, &c for by this and
by that you weren't BY" "None of
your business" says he; and he held
out his hand, and accordingly I pulled
out shilling and clapped it in his fist,
and then I asked him the questions, and he
said " Yes to them ALL "Were these
the same questions you put to the pris-
oner? says he. "Yes, they WERE"
says /. "Well, here's yer shilling back
for ye, says he. ~ can't take it, sir"
says /. why mott" says he. "WhyY
says I why, sure can't takeit back till
you go before a magistrate and pay the
smart money" (Which every recruit
must pay if he wants to be released
from service.) "You be hanged" says
he; and he put the money in his pocket;
and called to his lordship on the bench
for a witness that had listed him; and
oh but there was a roar in the COURT
Begorra, the judge laughed till the tears
ran down his face. Well, the decision of
the court being in my favor, 1 axed the
judge if might take away my new re-
cruit, and they all roared again, and the
counselor got as red as a turkey cock
and as mad as bull with the collie; at
last he made the best he could of it, and
says to the counselor-says |, "Don't
list in the line next time, sir" "What
then?'' says he snappishly. "Oh, yer
'oner," says !, stick to the rifles; that's
more in your way" Well, begorra,
when | told the major thought he'd
die, and when he'd done laughing he bid
me keep the "smart money" for myself.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-09-06
THE MARKETS

CINCINNATI-Flou Patent, 81 5o@s 50; fancy,
is = aP2S sP g. 'YS St gfade
S4 75@5 Is. Rye flour, So 5O@4. Grain-Wheat,
prime to choice red s. oS@1 IS prime to choice hill
Corn, 46@4Sc.; rye, No. 2, 57@5Sc.; oats, 25@Ssc.
Hay, prime to choice timothy, S9@1S. Mess pork,
81 54aaS 1Fd 69toR g aa - extra
family, s5@5 25; No. l, S. 1906; fancy, seq
6 IS. Grain-Wheat, 81 l5@1 20; Corn, 4S@5oc.;
leaf, in fierces, 1Oc. Cotton, low middling 3oc.
INDIANAPOLIS.-Flour, Sc 25@6 rs. Grain
Wheat 81 12@1 l6. Corn, 4213@4Sc. Rye, sc
shoulders, 454@47Sc.; hams, 1Oe1OAc. Lard, prime
steam, SHac;i kettle, g24e. Hogs, 81 75@5J - =; %
suSafne SE sts9e and %ssdSa State ssss
good choice Western State, IS 7O@6 O5 common to
fancy white wheat Western extra, Sc S9@S 25;
common to choice extra Ohio, s. 1907; common
to choice st. Louis s. 2@S 2 MnIesota patent
extra, Sc 1893 so. Rye Flour, S4@5 so. Grain
Wheat, $l@1 80; rye, 66@67c.; corn, !S@' 611ac
prime steam, new, IS SO@S So Cotton, 10 15-l6@
IL Lice.
PHILADELPHIA Flour Western superfne,
81; Western extras, So PENNSYLVANIA extra family,
| Sc 50S7; Minnesota extra family, Sc 25@7; high
grades, 81 50@9. Grain-Wheat, choice Pennsyl-
Sania amber, 81 4og1 4s; No. red, 81 se@1 IS Nc;
| sS1ac. OATS Pennsylvania white, 33@37c.; white
Western, S2@S5e; mixed Western, 29a @ sc Rye,
Petroleum, refined, 1414c; crude, in barrels, SIC
| MEMPHIS.-Flour Choice family, 81 25a7 So
| Grain-Corn is quiet at 50d55c. in store Oats are
quiet at 40@45c in store. Mess pork quiet at s14 Sc
OLA 80. Lard, steady, tierce, 954c.; kegs, 1014 9
| 101ac. Bacon, steady, 614@SI@S149S S5s@S1ae
| Begging firm at 1234@1315c
| STOCK MARKETS.
| CINCINNAT1-Cattle- = Common to medium
81 "A; good to choice butchers grades, 81 5O@5
fair to good shippers, So @5 so. Sheep and Lamb;
Common to choice sheep, 81 50g4 so; fair to extrs
lambs, s. 25@45O. Hogs-Common, S4 50a4 rs; fail
TO good light, SIS 10d5 80; fair to good packing
grades 81 9OG5 10; selected butchers, S. 2O@5 80
BUFFALO.--Sheep-Fair to good clipped, S4 ,25@
40; best grades, 81 1904 go. Hogs--Best Workers
s. 25d5 30 per 100 lbs; heavy good, S. As; fair
S53715; dairy, S. 25; coarse, $s05.
| NEW YORK.-Beef Cattle-Ordinary to choic
steers, 80 0@10; inferior and common S7@S. Sheel
-S4@5 IS. Lambs-S5 25@6 so. Hogs--Marke
steady at S5sO@5 rs.
WOOL.---We quote Cincinnati prices as follows
| Unwashed-Fine merino, 21@22c.; coarse clothing
24@26c. medium do, 27@29c.; long combing, 32@
35c. .Fleeced-washed--Fine merino, 50 q doc coars
lcothing, 3o@35c.; medium clothing, 35@3sc.; lon
combng, 40942c. Tub-washed = Common, $50
35c.; good to choice, 35@39c. Pulled--Superfne,
@27c.
In Boston the market is very dull and price
favor buyers No. and extra Ohio, 456147c.; extr
and triple and above, 47@50c; Wisconsin an
Michigan, 40@143c. combng and delaine selection
f0@}c. Super and extra quiet at 35@45c. for com
mon and choice.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-09-06
The New Planets not Dangerous.

1t is inferred by recent writer, who
reasons profoundly, that the moons of
Mars and the planet just discovered are
of modern rigin. If Mars had moons it
is certain, he thinks, they would have
long ago been detected, since the planet
itself is so near neighbor that its
satellites would have been seen by some
star-gazer. These new creations, he
infers, will produce alterations of the
planets in their orbits; the earth will be,
as it were jerked out of its course, and
several things will happen, ending in a
general blow up on or before 1881. 1t
is dreadful to think of, exclaims the
Cincinnati Commercial; but as the
alterations which led the French astrono-
mer to predict where in the heavens the
planet Neptune would be found at a
certain time, have produced no serious
consequences, and as the discovery of
the moons of Mars are due to the favor
able position of the planet and the power
of the best refracting telescope in the
world, in the hands of an expert astrono-
mer, people, we think, need not lose
sleep O nights through apprehension of
collisions and combustions in the planet
ary space. When any wobbling of the
earth out of its orbit is discovered, the
announcement will be publicly made.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-09-06

WITH face as red as lobster, and a
back like the shell of clam, the wife
stands over the kitchen stove and manip-
ulates raspberry jam.-Berkshire Courier.
While her husband, with nose like sun
set, and mouth like the song of a
year, leans over the counter of free
lunch," and elevates schooners of beer.
-Bwlington Hdwk-Eye. And her daugh-
ter with ears like shovel and eyes like
Florida bean, swings on the front gate
with her fellow, with darkness to cover the
scene.-New York G,phic. And her son,
with false teeth big as tomb stones, and
hair loose as any barn door, sweetly
sleeps on vacated soap box, in the
shade by the old corner store.-Fulton
Times.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-09-06
GLEANINGS FROM THE MUSE.
a wOrAN-s LETTER.
ny MARY AINGE DE WERE.

Ny letters late by one day,
Bui truth is, Jenny dear,
Ned Grayson came on Sunday
II seems he's always h.re.
lie, and young Fred M'Kenzie,
They staid three blessed hours,
And ma was in a frenzy
lie brought some lovely flowers.
I mean to tell you, Jenny,
The news and everything,
But find there isn't any
oh, next week, Ned's to sing
With the Mozart Club at Irving;
III manage, dear, 10 90,
The Fatos and weather serving,-
] don't want ma TO knowi
Icn, lovers are a nuisancei
George brought the ring last night
a solitaire, like Susan's;
II gave me such fright!
I cried aud wouldn't wear it;
How. underneath the sun,
D0 girls oOntriye TO bear it
This narrowing down to one?
Poor George, the foolish fellow,
Began to storm and fling,
And turned quite green and yellow
j hate that sort Of thing.
Now, Ned is always quiet;
! think his cool, gray eye,
Would still an Irish riot,
Or make a regiment fly.
Bat what's 50 very funny
About him, Ned, mean
lie hasn't any money;
] heard from Clarence Green
Just how he's situated
Keeps boOks for Webb & Ware.
All, well those things are fated!
George owns a million, square.
Yes, dear, Fate trims the corners,
Rough-hew them as we may!
We can't go clad like mOurners,
Or weep the liveloDg day.
But, OH, don't breathe il Jenny!
I'd marry Ned, you see,
Without one single penny,
II only he loved mel
All, well-well-well-th folly,
But sometimes, Jen, I've thought,
He, too, seemed melancholy;
Quick glances that I've caught,
Looked full Of speechless sadness
There goes n silly tear,
To blot the page what madness!
Goodbye, pet, George is here.
We dine at Ella JohnsOn's.
T.. ST. must decide,
lie won't stand too much nonsense.
The crepe comes full yard wide.
Don't get the buff, it fades so;
Have train aGd split-up sacque,
For Organdies are made so.
My heart aches. Love to Jack.
-ScribHer'S " Bric-a-Brdc;;" iSeptcDsb,
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-09-06

AFTER an experience OF over twenty-five
years, many leading physicians acknowledge
that the GRAFENBERG MARsHALL's Uterine
CATHoLICoN is the only known certain
remedy for diseases to which women are
subject. The GRAFENBERG VEGETABLE
PILLS. the most popular remedy of the day for
biliousness, headache, liver complaint and
diseases of digestion. Sold by all druggists.
Send for almanacs. Grafenberg Co., New
York
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-09-06
AFE, PERMANENT AND COMPLETE,

SAFE, PERMANENT AND COMPLETE =
Wilhoft's Tonic cures Chills and Fever,
Dumb Chills and Bilious Fevers-those
Titans that kill their thousands where this
remedy is unknown. 1t cures Enlargement
of the Spleen. 1t cures Hvpertrophy of the
Liver. 1t hurts no one. 1t cures all types
of Malarial Fevers and is perfectly pro-
tective in all its effects. Try Wilhoft's
Tonic, the great infallible Chill Cure g.
R. FINLAY & Co., Proprietors, New Orleans.
For SALE BY ALL DRUGGISTS
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-09-06

CAMP-sTOOLs are not allowed in the
Turkish camps. This accounts for the
standing army.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-09-06

THOUSANDS are entitled to increase of
pension. They having been pensioned at
rates below what their disabilities war
ranted, others as their disabilities have in
have their pensions increased, and those
who are not pensioned, but entitled to pen
sion, can secure the same by addressing,
with stamp, McNeill & Birch, Washington,
D. c. No fee till claim is allowed.
1 HAVE sold Hatch's Universal Cough
Syrup since 1870. 1t has had the leading
sale among all cough remedies from its first
introduction. My customers as they get ac-
quainted with it, become its friends almost
without exception. After this trial of six
years, can recommend its use to all in need
of a cough remedy.
| A. B. ARMSTRONG, Smetheport, Pa.
Sold by JOHN D. PARK & SONS, Gin. O.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-09-06

that many grocers sell DooLEY's YEAST
POWDER at the same price they do the
cheap, inferior kinds, and, as they pay more
for it, make less money; hence they never
sell it unless the purchaser demands, and
insists on having it. They keep it out OF
sight, and urge customers to take the com.
mon kinds because they are more profitable
Good, pure articles have a value, and can.
not be sold as low as those that are adul
terated
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-09-06
El4IIIIK KsXlTaSS

Permanently cure chronic constipation and all
The ills that result from want of prope, sIools.
They possess tonic Alternative and cathartic proper.
lies and will regulate the bowels when ali other
medicines fall produce appetite and cause the body
% gain, in solid flesh. Sold everywhere. Price
s5c. Office 35 Murray ST., New York.
The Rutland daily globe. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1873-1877, 1877-02-15

The meeting of the reform club at their
rooms Wednesday evening was largely at
tended. Rev. J. G. johnson made an in
teresting, radical temperance address, fol-
lowed by Rev. A. ID. Barber of Walllng-
ford. Mrs. Edgerton aud Mrs. Stewart
sang a duet. Delegates were appointed to
the state convention at Burlington, Feb.
81, 20 and 90.
Mrs. Emma Malloy of South Bend, Ind,
will spesk on temperance at the Baptist
church Sunday afternoon at three o'clock.
Mrs. Molloy has spoken in many towns in
Massachusetts and has been favorably re-
received. The Boston HerdM says OF one
of her efforts
Mrs. Emma Molloy of Indiana, was in
troduced a. the last speaker. She said that
she was woman suifragist simply because
she had been crusader. She said that
she had found that praying before saloons
for hours, and even for days, did not ac-
complish the desired object, and that wo-
men needed more power, and so she be-
came woman suffragist to get more
power. She then with the calcium
light of mastery orstory, 0hadowed the
evils of intemperance upon the minds of
her hearers, and with a tongue of fire por-
trsyed the reasons why women should vote,
and drive the demon drink from the land.
The Rutland daily globe. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1873-1877, 1877-02-15
THE EFFECT WAS MAGICAL.

Ii is astonishing how many people have
their nerves in some way affected. They
are nervous" 'cannot control their feel
ings," crest poorly at night" shave the
blues" "feel as though something dreadful
was going to happen" to them or their
friends, all the time affected with sense
of Impending danger" etc., etc., all of
which point to temporary impairment of
the nerves, which if not relieved, may re-
suit in an acute attack of some form of
disease. No nerve remedy will benefit un-
less the system is at the same time cleansed
and prepared for its action. That is the
reason of the failure of most nerve tonics
in these cases. 1t is also the reason Dr. M.
M. Fenner has combined in one medicine
his Blood and Liver Remedy and Nerve
Tonic, and il is the further reason that peo-
pie who use it are enabled TO write him like
the following
Fredonia, N. Y, Jan. 18th, 1879.
DR.. NJ. NJ, Fenner-Dear SiT-I consider IL q
privilege, as well as u duty, TO testify 10 the
efficacy OF your Blood and Liver Remedy and
Nerve Tome. For some time past had been
suffering from great nervous debility, accom-
panied with extreme lassitude and low spirits
almost uniting ne for business. had preW
ousy heard your kennedy highly euogzed by
some OF your patients, and resolved 10 give IL a
Trial. the efect was magical. From the mo-
menJ OF taking the nrst dose felt decidedly
better. It's warming Influence was soothing.
agreeable and inyigo atlng. have now taken
three bottles ind am entirely restored.
cheerfnlly recommend Il u the thousands sur
fering from Nervous Debility. Yours truly;
For sale by dealers In medicine; in Rut-
by Paige 81 Crooks.