, 1877-07-01
PIOUS JOKES.

Connecticut preacher 6aTS that good con
grcgation will praise the music, the choir, tht
ventilation, and the civilitics Of the usher, bu
| rs to the sermon, swell, dunno"
! On Sunday, at baptism in Baptist churci
not fur from Boston, when somewhat agitatee
candidate was struggling in the tank, small
! boy in the gallery began hu1nming " Full fo
| the Shore" loud enough to be heard By al
! present.
ANY sou,1t said mother to little bog
years ord, t'whom above all others will you wisf
! TO see when you pass into :Ae spirit world"
HGoltah!'' shouted the child, with joyons m
ticipatiou; ..un!ess, he quickly added, thege'i
bigger feller there"
Ministers should remember that the weather
IS growing very warm, and the same conSrega'
ton which sits delighted through two aud one
half hours Of fiye-act comedy can't possibly
| endure more than twenty-five minutes OF ser
mon and q thrce-sninute prayer. There Is llmia
even to human endurance
A country debating club is on the eve O
bankruptcy and the only cause giTcu is that The
members couldn't decide the morncntous qucs.
ton: ssVill, or will not. coinmon sinner whe
! liberally patronizcs strawberry aud icc-crcan
festivals, for the benefit OF the church, bt
thrown out BY the Returning Board above, Or
will he be counted ln!' ::
The only equivalent in the Japanese language
for the English word baptism or immersion ,t y
cation Is the following from the Baptist trans
|ation OF the Bible iDIo the Japanese which that
pood orthodox, the Ai0Hce- says greatly aston
tie Japs; "In those days came John, the
soaker. preaching tue soaking of repentencs.
Repent aud ne soaked, every one OF you"
A Scotch minister was oace busy catcchislng
his Young parishloncre before the congregation,
.uhe1, le mt the usual first question to stout
girl whose father kept public house: % hat
Is YOUR pame4" No reply. The question h1v-
jnE been repeated, the girl replied: "Nane o.
vcr fun, MIR. Minister; We ken my name "eel
euet,c}. Dye no say when ye come to cur
house on night, Bet, brfne me some alef'@
A Young man whose habits had dcgrcc OF
velocity In them, which was ouinous, but who
vas ayerse to labor of any kind, conceived q
strt,e affection for the sayings OF Solomon, and
for peculiar reason. His aunt forgaye hltn hts
little unishaps, while his uncle sreruly reproFeo
hin. The feminine purse strings we're easily
united, while those Of the masculine re1atise
had a Gordian knot. ~He insisted that II lc had
-end the SCRIPTURES more he would have nad
more mouey, because the Proverbs told MIN
never to 20 to bis uncle, while they said dis
tinctIv. IGo to the ant, thou sluggaro." ne
insists that Solomon know great deal Of M"
uau nature
a young Quaker who was eagerly winning hls
war into TIE affections Of High Chnrch Fps
copaIisn lady was invited by her to attend rellg-
fo,is service. Hc exhibited only lively curi-
osity at first, but when the whole congreest1on
neraisted in repeating the words, - Lore be
merciful to US, miserable sinners" nis oealans
was one OF surprise, probably at the 1rank con-
fession, but II soon became one Oh III 1ao'va 1a,,a
clear voice, included herself among the mises-
able sinners, perhaps because be W. nqt az
clstoned Gust to look upon nsr IN exactly that light.