Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1877-05-19

bINCl W WV ~ NhS N''"'b
ton.
Tho new butter now so eXtcn'
sivcly manufactured from oX-suct,
is called "olComargarine." 1t wont
do-you can't sell it by that name,
only as a patent medicine
Candidates throughout the
State will please step forward and
give us their names-on II sub
scription list. We can then boast
of the longest roll in the State.
And row Gortschakof has
been succeeded by Count Schouvo'
loft and left us wondering what or
Biographical atrocity the Russians
arc going to pcrpctrate next on un'
offending editors and innocent
readers.
A school boy being ask cd what
was the heaviest weight he ever
carried, replied, "havlng to wait
for my dinner"
The Editor OF the Charleston
Journal of Commerce is so happy ut
tho reconstruction OF his State, that
in speaking of the Russian General
with a long name, he says, "the
man with that name is q six foot
Pole BY birth" Why, tho fellow
must have been born a bean pole.
1t is neither elegant nor health.
full for your ladies to work ont Of
doors, but playing in the garden rs
a delightful exercise for them. A
very amusing game for a low young
girls would be for each 10 take -
row Of bects, and see who could
weed her row the soonest.
His Serene Highness, PrCsi,
dent Hayes, has certainly acquitted
himself in such a mild.mannered
way as not to give umbrage to the
main body Of Republicans or Dem
ocrats, and the extreme wings OF
each party are not as savage on him
as might be cxpo ctcd.
The seat OF war is no longer
occupied by Sitting Bull. Crazy
Horse has given himself up with a
large force Of Indians, and Sitting
Bull has changed to Running Bull,
and is off for Canada.
"A great m any years have been
wasted in VAIN attempts to capture
a sea.serpent. At last they have
succeeded on the coast of Scotland.
1t was l01 feet long. The animal
kept a whole army at bay with his
taii for several hours.
The following advertisement
appears in the Charleston Journal
of Commerce:
Tho drst man killed in the Tur.
eo-Russian war was a Charleston.
an. He was recognized by the fla
vor OF one Of Benefits five cents
cigars"
The advertisement doesn't state
whether tho Turks or the cigar
killed him.
- A couple of western newspa.
pers have been playing Uhuttlccock
with the word "liar." As fast ~
one throws it, the other knocks j
back. Is this what is called "lyin.
between two sheets? 7"
The name of ono of the Rus
sian commanders is Gen. Nepokoyt
chizky. Before you pronounce II
draw a long breath, and shoot tn
last syllable out with a sneeze.-
Another name in the Russian rank
is Lodowiski, and the soldiers vii
follow that leader into the las
ditch.
-"Thcre are feelings whic
should not be rudely trampled "
on" says a pathetic writer, b.
why, then, does he wear tight boots
- Science has proven that sleo]
ing with the head toward the Mort
Pole is conducive to sleep. Tn
shows the necessity Of taking
compass to bed with you, not 70
getting to make proper allowant
for the variation of tho necdle.-
Then, il your hair is parted in II
middle, you will have the satisfa
of knowing, that II the North PO
would reach far enough southwai
II would strike your head right
the dividing line, and you will sle'
as sweetly as a babe who doesl
care, or know anything, about Il
North Pole, or the variations Of Il
needle.
Oregon has grappled with Il
liquor question in quite an origin
and effective manner. instead
making saloon keepers pay a
cense to retail the ardent, eve
person who drinks is compelled
take out a license at q cost OF Fl
dollars per capita, and it is a pen
offence for a liquor dealer to sell
a person who cannot show his
cense. Now, there is someIhiI