The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1877-06-08
VARIETIES.

--Spidgins remarks that dog fight is
not a noble spectacle, although undoubted
a display of cur rage.
"A youthful granger about to be chas-
tised 10y his father the other day, called
for his grandfather to protect him from
the middleman.
Even ifa boy is always whistling 81
want to be an angel" it is just as well to
keep the preserved pears on the top shelf
of the pantry
An Indiana farmer who posted notice
reading, "No hunting on this farm" was
surprised to find it to read, on second in
spection, "No. l hunting on this farm"
The ediror of the st. Louis Republican
recently insisted that poets must be brief.
The next day he received the following,
entitled, "The Ballad of the Merchant ~
Trust--Bust!
Some men never can take a joke
There was an old doctor, who, when asked
what is good for mosquitoes ?" wrote
back: ''How do you suppose l can tell
unless I know what ails the the mosqui-
toes ?"
-"What is editorial courtesy 2" asks u
New Jersey paper. Why, it is when an
editor is caught stealing chickens at mid
night, and his brother editors kindly al,
lude to the matter as strange freak of II
sOmnambulist.
Josh Billings says: "Theres one
thing abouta hen that looks like wisdom
they don't cackle much till they have
laid their eggs. Sum pholks are alwas n
Dragging and cackling what they are going
tew do beforehand"
my dear W said Jealous partisan of
a nominee to the nominees little daughter,
who was playing in the yard-"my dear |!
run in and tell your mamma that your
papa has got the nomination. 90! o ~
sobbed the child "has he got it bad! He
won't die of it, will he ?"
"A sheep raiser in Pope Valley, Cal,
sold his flock to man living in the ada
cent valley of Berryessa, ten miles distant.
Soon after the former missed the dog
which had always assisted him in herdng
the sheep, and searched for him in vain.
He was valuable dog, and his loss was
duly mourned for couple of days, when,
to his masters attonishment, in he came
from Berrycssa with the whole flock of
sheep, which he had brought safely home
again.
Two Nimrods Of Auburn, N. Y. had Il
dispute about the ownership ola wild
duck, ut which they both fired as it was
on the wing. One took the bird, and was
sued 10y the other. A trial was had before
Squire Frecse and II jury, during which
the duck was stripped ofall its feathers,
that the manner Of the killing might be
made more apparent. 1t was then evident
that both charges of shot entered the fowl,
but as the jury was unable to decide
which struck first, or from which gun it
came, they returned verdict of "no cause
Of action"
An English puddler went the other
day to get his child christened. "What
name" says the parson, "shall call the
child ~
"Thoo can caal the kid owt thoo likes"
says the father.
"Weel," says the parson, Il think Ben
jamin is very nice name"
Vary wecl" says the father, "caal him
Benjamin. The puddler came out of
church with his wife and child, highly de-
lighted with the name, when a thought
struck him. Rushing back into the church,
and overtaking the parson walking down
the aisle, he exclaimed, Hey, mister, the
young squeakers lass !"
The parson was at loss what to do mn
der the circumstances. However he put
in an at the end of the name, and
they called it Benjamin..