The daily intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Territory [i.e. Wash.]) 1876-1881, 1877-09-08
BREvITIES.
Hayes ignores gin.

Morton renegues on soft crabs.
The Railroad King-Gum King.
I Helen has sold -, 900 Of her babies
thus far.
/ Tne blue grass fever seems TO be
dying natural deatn.
Washington street coats are still too
short TO draw nails out of the sidewalk.
Blaine wants to annex Canada so as
to even up the weather III America.
Nightgowns with bay windows in
them are getting obsolete these foggy
nights.
A New Yorker adyertises one penny
reward for his lost, strayed or Stolen
wife.
What did the spider do when he
came out of the ark He took fly
and went home
Our funerals are too snowy What
We would like to see is less ostentation
and more tears.
1t is an error to imagine that women
talk more than men. They're listened
to more-thats all.
DR.. Mary Walker says that she didn't
get up this strike, but 1t is well enough
TO keep an eye on her.
Show us the small boy who would
not rather hold up his pants with his
hands than wear suspcnders.
Another war has occurred at the East
this time between Jimsky Keeneskaw
and the BashiBazouk Jay Gouldski.
A Santa Cruz lady has just invented
u nobby bathing suit. 1t consists Of
jaunty hat of goat skin and a pair of
sandals.
Can any one describe the feeling that
runs around a mans jaw while sitting
on IA tack! We don't think that pen
can
This is the latest form Of wedding
invitations: Come around and see me
capture mother-iD-law at s O'clock,
sharp"
Many young men are led to look upon
ballet girls as angelic beings, because
they see them closely associated with
wings"
MIR Hayes believes that the Indians
would make good soldiers, aud he is
right. They would look exceedingly
well in the dead-trench
wly-married daughter: Mamma,
how long does the honeymoon last Z"
Practical parent: Until you ask your
husband for money"
The Spring Valley water company
advises the people to ''go easy" on wa
ter. as the supply is getting scarce.
The milk cans. however, remain faith
full
1t is said the garroters have 20 serve
an apprenticeship of two years before
they can 90 out on the street and tackle
a Congressman with short neck.
The "voice of nature" is particularly
distressing to the yonng father who, in
the middle Of the night, clutches fran
tically at the paregoric bottle. and finds
it empty.
Brick Pomeroy's regular morning
greeting: "Ha Seems to me I've seen
you before. Let me think. We were
married yesterday. weren't we -
Rochester Democrat.
The world would be sandy desert
of lopesomeness if women were not
privileged to attend auction sales and
pay more for an old bureau than a
whole chamber set would cost.
The ministers of San Francisco meet
every Monday afternoon. ostensibly to
exchange views upon the means of re-
deeming sinners; but we have vague
suspicion it is to swap sermons.
Poor people will be gratified to learn
that Quails cause inflammation Of the
bowels to those who eat them Toast
on which quails have stood should not
be left where children can get hold of
it.
If the strike at the East should con-
tinue ten years, not q woman in San
Francisco would care wbit-but if
they were not allowed to wear six-but
toned gloves. every one of them would
be plunged in grief.
Ann Eliza isn't making much noise
these days, but she is alive and we'll.
She rode in the same seat with General
Sheridan the ether day. and the domes-
tic lecture he got kept him thinking =
whole week.
Her Majesty Queen Victoria has been
pleased to appoint Lady Elizabeth Phi
lippa Biddulph extra woman of the
bed chamber And they say il is beau
,ital To see ber take pillowcase be-
/ tween her teeth and slip the pillows in.
How few young men and women
there are who feed spiritually. as twere,
on the elcvating and inspiring influence
of Byronic poetry, that imagine, until
long after. there is such deep ana solid
happiness III square meal of beans or
corn beef and cabbage.
There was one Syracuse man who
didn't dare 90 home at all the other
night. but slept out under the trees
somewhere. He had been OH Sunday
school railroad excursion. and when the
party started home was 81 gallant in
assisting handsome young lady on
/ board the cars that he let his wife miss
the train. and she had to foilew on by
the way freight Under the circum-
stances, we don't think home would be
exactly safe for him.
A fashionably dressed aud iistin-
guished-lookirg miss applied to a
| Broadway variety theatre during the
pas, week tor the privilege of debuting
asa ballad singer. She was referred
/ TO the leader of the orches,rs for trial.