The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-06-23

be centeIar!ans. The mother u Gov. BeG!e, OF
that state, celebrated her lN0ath birthday last
week.
The disaster 20 the Rockford court house is
explained by the fact that the architect who
planned 1t was pupil Of Mullett.
Newspaper correspondents in RoumaLia run
some risks apparently. Ore Of them relates this
Incident:
Who's that MANI asked the car Of his aid
the other day, pointing 10 a chap with chunk
Of hard tack is one hand and note book in the
other, who was hanging around headquarters,
cycling him rather closely, THAT" said the aid,
"thats an American newspaper correspondent
from Chicago Shoot him at sunset" replied
his majesty retiring within Lis tent.
Paris has got hold Of something that equals
in supreme !diocy Mark Twaln's Punch, Broth.
ers." lis title lie LA Colour de mes guetres,'
(the color Of my CATERS and the following is
the refrain, which every one is humming as If
possessed;
mo, no, you shall not see
The color OF my galters;
No, no. you shall not see
The color Of my stockings;
For il you were TO see
The color Of my CATERS,
You would be able TO guess
The color Of my stockings
Tho Joliet Phaax propounds the conundrum,
"Do hogs pay!' A leading saloon keeper In.
forms US that the hogs that gobbe his free
lunch seldom pay for anything.
Those unpronounceable Russian and Turkish
names that garnish the war news OF the day are
puzzles to others besides American newspaper
readers. The Oh city Gail relates an incident:
poor, lone Turk who was travelling In this
country CHANGED to read several kilograms from
the seat Of war, and an editorial on the Eastern
question. He was surely perplexed, and asked
II Russian friend where this war wds. Then the
two together studied the kilograms and edito.
rials, consulted several Of the Herdh war maps,
and came to the conclusion the tight was some.
where ID southern Africa,
People may rail at lawyers, but they are Nigh.
~ handy In helping one out of scrapes. An
honest Louisville darkey came in possession OF
500 bill, but no one believed he came by it
honestly and lie was arrested on suspicion. He
got lawyer to defend him, and proved that it
was his own money, when his counsel took all
but $50 for his services, which made the negro
50 mad that he EFT the whole with him.
The New York Commercial AdotrtiSr calls at.
ten;ion 10 the painful fact that among the arriy.
ais OF distinguished southerners at the noted
northern watering places no mention has yet
been made ot"Mrs. Eliza Pinkston and family"
When a Bostonian commits suicide he don't
take the chances Of simply blowing out his
brains, for lie sees lots Of people living and
thriving around him apparently without brains.
Alfred Rand, Boston medical student and grad.
ua:e Of HARVARD, Gid it in this way; He procured
md loaded a small cannon. Having applied u
slow match 10 il, he lay down on the floor with
his lea { at the mouth of the weapon. When it
exploded his head was blown off,"
An article in health magazine shows that
printers die young. Maybe good printers die
young; but the compositor who converts word
OF i've syllables INTO five new words Of one and
two syA4bles each, without trying very hard,
doesn't die as early as he should-NOr. Utrdd.
Carl Schurz, Hayes Secretary Of the Interior,
tod Mary Clemser that he should appoint no
more female clerks in his department and in.
teEded rapidly TO weed out those now there.
Mary says this determination has no connection
with considerations Of retrenchment or civil
service reform, but arises solely from a DISPOSE.
ton on the part OF the female clerks to make fun
Of tie extreme length and thinness of the sccre.
iaTy's legs.
The Tome S@ttd winds up a slashins edito-
rial on wicked boys with this eloquent perora-
ton:
Unto the good little boy shall he given the
picnic ticket, but the wicked son shall rccline on
Lis mothers Knee. Verify, in the day when she
Wayeth il to him with her slipper, his heart will
be full Of repentance, aEd his bowling shall dis.
tcTO the neIytbOrs.
i is time the papers gave us some more cpl.
tapAs. Here Is the first We have seen in a
month:
Here lies the body Of Mary Hatch,
Who ended life. Strange story,
she clipped one day on & parlor match.
Andwas carried OF 10 glory.
About third OF one OF Mrs. Florrs legs wal
cut Oh by locomotive in 81. Louis, and jur,
awarded her si,lGGGG2l damages. The amount
indicates that the jury estimated he en,ir,
leg as worth Sl2,5OO
VIA; is famet The English papers speak O
Kellogg and Packard as neyroes.-Neic Hara
Jolg~,al Now, indeed, do our hearts bleed 10
tie poor Aricsn.-Bostos Post.
: jealous Chicago paper says, "when s.
Louis girl sings the noise sounds like tearing &
Ole shirt
Cul;pre is SO cheap and plentiful in New Enr
land that when a professor died Of hydrophobi
:le majority OF the Boston papers sided with th
c0g.-L,otlisVilie C0arier-sTOUrEal.
Sheridan Is afflicted with a committee that oC
cBpy themselves in smelling out other people
hssiasss. hat the ysIrs Lettr says their kee