, 1877-01-21
ETHICS OF COURTsHIP.

| IL 1Lto OE ~ u III . f111
WITH REFERENCE TO TIE BEsNErT-MAY CASE.
10 tas Editor of The Tribune
CHICAGO, Jan. 20.-Among other questions
growing out OF the Bennctt-Alay matrimonial
tiasco, is one concerning tho rights and wrongs
OF that exccedingl, <ncial stage 'or
state, Of human existence commonly denomtnnt-
cd courtship. That it 'ft,as u moral or ethical
| side is very clear and cyilcnt,-for what state
or relationship of life has not such a side!-but
| how to formulate or definitely express the
s'courtshfp code " may not be So clear to all
! minds.
The underlying fact which makes such q code
possible or necessary is, that ai.eDurtshIps and
marriages are not begun and continued from
| pure loye in both parties. This love is the
! natural and divlncly-oroaiacd basis On which
all such relationships are to stand flrtn alid Sc
cure. And where this love exists 1t always
| makes its own code, thereby obviating all need
OF intellectual or outside Legislation. And
where tlis true love exists, moreover, there need
be no apprchcnsiono OF failure in the carrying out
OF matrimonial desigus, for loye's mysterious
alchemy, cncountcring impeding elements or
obstacles, turns them ill into guild, and SO pre-
parcs the way for the crowNi1g realization OF its
hopes. What world Ut sorrow, aud pain, annl
anguish Of heart, Of dolnestlc, legal, and social
difficulty, would be avoided if the little winged
god could be allowed to maintain his place at
the helm Of every matrimonial craft all the voy-
uge through.
But the unpleasant social fact stares us in the
face that all marriage ventures are not regu-
lated BY love, but rather, BY anything and
hence the existence of suits tor breaah
vi promise, the sensational newspaper reports,
the hot breath Of scantal the bliEhting stain OF
rnptured engagements, and tho keen misery OF
hope deferred which 1naketh the heart sick And
1confess that SO long as courtships aud marriages
are negotiated with reference to considerations
OF convenience, policy, property, social ulstlnc-
ton. or any kindred motive, just SO long will
this whole matter Of marriage, which is confess
edly the fundamental feature Of all social lille,
be kept in its present unsatisfactory and disor-
derfd condition; just so long will it continue to
be taken out OF the realm of sentiment, where it
rightfully belongs, and kept in courts or before
the tribunal OF public opinion.
James Gordon Bennett is not the first man
who has broken his marriage contract right up
on the eve OF its public consummation; neither
Is there any probability that his case will be the
last Of its kind. Aud tho question arises,
WHAT SHALL BE DONE SOCIALLY
to those who have been, or Shall be, guilty Of
this common social nlisdemcanor? Is the blame
all on one side In such eases! Generally not.
Further than this, is the generic root Of this
difficulty traccable to individuals ut allf |
think not, At whose door, then, must the guilt
be laid! And 1 make haste to reply,
at the door Of q fallen, dcpraycd, corrupt
social opinion, or law, or custom, which
makes such marriage engagements rs this
Bennett-Alav affair both common and eminent
ly respectable. Society must elevate its own
cotlc of ethics before the path Of ,natrimony
can be made smooth and prosperous. And the
means for such reformation lie wholly in the
hands Of the mothers and daughters.
1t cannot be for Il moment doubted that both
Mrs. May anil Miss May knew the character Of
young Bennett long before his attentions were
encouraged; why, then, was that encourage
1ncnt girens Would it have been given SO freely,
or at all, if Alr. Bennett had been poor rian! !