The Lake County star., 1877-11-01
How q Marrying Justice United
q Couple at Fort Huron.

Justice Leonard is q great wag In his
way, and the Canada pairs who come
over here to commit matrimony are
sure to call at his Office for . hrst-class
Job. The Judge is also quite pOliti-
clan, and like thousands Of other good
men, don't believe Hayes is the legal
President. The other day he had Q
heated discussion with Hayesite, and
while indulging In some striking ar
guments with his opponent Canadian
couple presented themselves for mar
riage.
''Is the justice in ?" meekly asked
the long, lean, lank bridegroom.
"I am the Justice and the law sir.
What have you been doing now young
man Speak out, sir, speak out.
What suit are you after? What can 1
do for you ?" hurriedly asked the JUS
tice, and then turning to his opponent,
shook his fist and said: "YOu know
It's fraud, q disgrace, q wrong that
the next Congress ought to wipe out
and every one of 'em be hanged to
lamp-posts." Turning again to the
couple, "Well. sir, what is It; any one
robbed you, trespassed, assaulted, re-
fused to pay, want divorce, or any.
thing In my liner
The bride blushed and hung her
head.
Don't be scared, young lady; 10.
body ought to he afraid In this cOun-
try outside If Hayes, Wells and those
other scoundrels. Speak out, young
man. what's wanted time is precious, I"
said the justice.
At last the young man stammered
out, "If you are the feller as marries
folks 1 want that job DONE"
"Married!" said the judge, 1.-THE
devil you do. It's the first applica-
ton I've had in week. Who are you
where do you hail from, what's your
politics-are you Greenbacker, q
Democrat or q rascally Republican,
speak out, sir; speak out?'
"I amt neither" said the BRIDE
groom, "I'm q Grit"
"a Grit! Well, I should say you
weie," said the judge. "You must be
full of grit to marry. Whatdo you ex-
pect to do these hard times with q large
family coming on, hard winter before
you, labor scarce and money scarce?
How much money have you got TO in
vest In this business?"
"Only one dollar, sir" and theyOung
man pulled out two halves.
Lord bless me, they look as big as
cart. W heels. Square round. Here,
you fellow, get OH the other side, ele-
vate your heads, hold up your right
hands, look me straight In the eye and
be sworn"
"Do you solemnly swear In the pres
ence of this rascally Republican and
The Free Press reporter that you will
live together as long as you do live, die
together when the time comes, love,
protect, cherish and respect; thatyou,
young lady, will try and support that
young man, mend his shirts, darn his
stockings, look upon your husband as
the best-looking man In the country,
let him monopolize all the grit about
the house when he's at home, and run
the house when he's away; and you,
young man, will never get to foOling
around with anybody else's wife, or
play sweet with any one else; that
you denounce fraud and corruption,
despise the electoral commission, and
particularly Joe Bradley; that you
will never vote the Republican ticket,
or say Hayes was honestly elected ;
that you will not accept office under
Hayes administration, run for a justice
of the peace, or compromise your rights
as an American citizen II you should
ever become one. All of which you
solemnly swear"
kiss the book, sir. I'll kiss the
bride. Launch out the halves. Good
ness, they are larger than cart-wheels.
Good day, sir. A long life-happiness
twins. Call again. Send your cOus-
ins, or. any one else. Farewell"
The couple backed out of the door
after upsetting the spittOOn, knocking
the compiled laws from the table and
overthrowing two or three chairs.
Another man made miserable"
cried the Judge, and commenced writ
ing on a writ Of replevin.-Free Press.