The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1877-07-06
PITH AND POINT.

THE silver question: Can you lend
me a quarter 2"
YOUNG ladies who want red cheeks
must get them outdoors as the roses do.
Why is fender like Westminster
Abbey? Because it contains the ashes OF
the CRATE.
SIZE does not always tell. A watch
ticking can be heard further than bed
ticking.
THE summer resort for babies-Rock-
away. The best for bad boys-Long
Branch.
A CHICAGO man, at the point of death,
was asked if clergyman should be sent
for. "No," said he, send for brandy
cocktail"
The pedagogue is the only person that
keeps school this weather. And in win
ter the bee-keeper is the only one who
keeps swarm.
A BOY having been told I" that a rep
tile was an animal that creeps, on being
asked to name one, on examination day,
promptly replied, "A baby"
DARE to do right.
Dare 10 be true
Kick at your mother-in-law
II she kicks at YOU
AN Eastern man, in writing to friends
of his marriage in California, thus terse-
ly describes his bride: "She has head
as red as a woodpeckers, and owns sheep
until you can't rest"
AN ingenious farmer planted a few
rows of potatoes zigzag, to bother the
bugs. These rows were just about
enough for the cross-eyed bugs, who
partook with feelings of profound graft
tude.
81 SHOULDN'T like to be an oarsman,'
said Jones. "Why not ?" asked Green.
because an oarsman has SO many pull
backs, replied Jones; and then the two
youths shook hands, and went out to buy
something.
"MY son" said mother to a little
boy years old, "who above all others
will you wish to see when you pass into
the spirit world?" "Gohah ~ shouted
the child, with joyous anticipation
"unless, he quickly added, "there's a
bigger teller there"
81 CAME out of the accident, said he,
''and who do you think was the first
person 1 met p" "Who?" "Who but
that eternal prize-package peddler who
had bored me 500 miles on the train, and
he was the only one aboard who wasn't
hurt some way"
A LITTLE miss, writing to her father
on the first day of her entrance at board
ing-school, says: "The first evening We
had prayers, and then singing and pass
ing round OF bread, which / did not take,
because, not being confirmed, / had no
right to take communion. Afterward /
learned that 1 had lost my supper"
MAX ADELER says "We observe in
the paper an item to the effect that
mother in Maryland bit off her child's
toe in her sleep. We have so often re-
monstrated with mothers against the
practice of sleeping with their children's
toes in their mouths that we have little
sympathy for this woman. Sooner or
later the catastrophe is sure to come.
A GERMAN enlisted in the regular
army was in the course of few days
put on picket duty. His instructions
were, when anyone approached, to say,
Who comes there 2" three times, and
then shoot. Before long he perceived
a man approaching he waited quietly
till the man came very near, and then
he suddenly brought his musket to his
shoulder and shouted "WhO comes
here dree dimes?" Bang
A SOUTH CAROLINA resident came down
one of the mountains one day, lately, and
asked of the first man he met: whats
the news from the WARP" "Oh, it's
booming right along" said the stranger.
Richmond keeps holdin' her own,
then ?" quizzed the mountain man.
Richmond y yelled the stranger;
"there isn't any war in Richmond-it's
on the Danube and around Batoum and
Erzeroum, and pointing on toward Con.
stantinople." "Oh, yaas, observed the
mountain man hesitatingly, its drifted
round to them ere places, has it? And
AS he passed on around cliff, the
amazed stranger heard that mountaineer
uttering to himself: 81 haint read the
papers much, lately, that's so, and l
reckon I'm gittin' little behind on the
news. Chicago Evening Journal.