davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-03-16
Searching the Guests.

The correspondent Of the London N0fn-
ing Post, at Rome, says: 4 must men
ton what took place at the house of a Ro-
man Marchese on the occasion of his
daughter" marriage with Count -, an
other member of the local aristocracy.-
The marriage ceremony having been duly
performed in the adjoining church, about
seventy persons, friends Of both families,
who had been invited to attend it, adjourn
ed thence to the Marchese is residence
to partake Of a dejeueer and offer the con
gratulations and good wishes to the bride
and bridegroom. The young lady had re
ceived a number Of wedding presents,
some Of which we're very valuable, and the
tables on which they were displayed prov
ed very attractive to the visitors but un-
fortunately lady who was very intimate
in the house, and knew what the principal
Gifts were, expressed her surprise at not
seeing a very handsome pair OF earrings
| of large emeralds and diamonds, and an,
other valuable piece Of jewelry. A mys
terious rumor that some of the jewels had
been distracted went round, and reached
the ears of the Marehese -, who flew in
to violent passion at such a hsgrant
breach Of hospitality, and in site of the
eutreaty of his family aud friends, at once
sent for delegate of police to search the
persons present, none Of whom were allow
ed to leave the palace without having sub
nitted to that degrading formality.
ABut as the gentlemen, although afford
ing every facility for the verifeation 0
their own innocence. would not allow th
police agents to lay hands upon the ladies
the Marchese undertook that duty upo
himself, and actually searched the pocket
Of his lady guests with a perseverance
which would have probably been eroWne
with success if any Of those ladies had rea'
y been in possession OF the missing jew
els. What made this afront the NOR
poignant was tlle Iact Of the persona
friendship existing between the two fam
lies interested and the guests invited
witness their union, which amicable reIs
tons have, Of course, received a mort;
blow BY the Marehese's conduct. Their
were also persons Of very high consider
ton present, including two e,ninentissin
cardinals, as the families both belong
the Papaline section OF Roman society
but the body was not spared from the susp
J clou Of having undnly appropriated ! po
J ton of The brides treasures, and all wel
therefore subjected e the test Of persan
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-03-16

delay. On his return to the sitting-room
there was a cold, stern look of settled de.
termination On his face he glued his lips
together as he took his seat, opened the
magazine, and commenced reading in a
hard, metallic voice; he had finished the
FIRST column, and was tackIing some long
words in the second, when the family cal
made spring at a mouse, IN the china
closet and upset soup-tureen and halfa,
dozen goblets off the shelf.
II wish that lightning would waltz down
and knock the whole confounded house
over1n he screamed, as his wife let the cat
out Of the closet and gathered up the brok-
en- fragments.
He was so worked up and excited when
he again attempted the story, that he read
the tendcrest love passages in harsh,
grating key, and whispered the heroine, IS
confession of the tender passion in avolce
like the changing of the City Hall bell
He was rafting off one hundred and fifty
words to the minute, and Ignoring all
punctuation marks, when the servant-glrl,
coming in on tip-toes with scuttle Of coal,
caught her foot in the crumb-cloth, and
came down with noise enough to wake up
policeman who was snoring in an area
two blocks away.
Then Pcewit rose up in his righteous
wrath, and pranced around that room like
Rocky Mountain goat, while he cxercls-
ed his vocal powers in some Of the most
ornamental swearing ever heard in that
neigbborhood. Then his splnster aunt got
her back up. and slammed things around
and jawcd, while the servant girl, in heap
on the floor, lifted up her voice to heaven
and howled dismally.
Reading was not resumed that evening,
and Peewit says:
"I'd sooner be kicked to death by jack
asses than read the, ten commandments in
such house as this
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-03-16
Goes to the Heart.

During the past week a well-dressed and
intelligentlooking man has secured GOO
many drinks Of beer for nothing. His plaI
is to call into a saloon, give the propristo.
searching glance, and exclail
"Why, thought for an instant thai
Daniel Webster had returned to life"
He calls for beer, and as he sips it, he
again whis. ers
II don't say that you will get govern.
ment Office right away, bit you just wait
I'm g.ing to Washington-know 'em all
great inauence-can't have you behind q
bar-suppose you wouldn't object to the
post-office, no matter who's elected p
They rinse out the glass and say moth
ing about pay and the man goes down the
street and touches another heart.
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-03-16
Suluhur for Scarlet Fever,

Dr.. Henry Pigeon writes to the London
Lancet as follows: "The marvellous sue
cess which has attended my treatment Of
scarlet fever by sulphur induces me to let
my medical brethren know Of my plan, 50
that they may be able to apply the same
remedy without delay. All the cases in
which / used it were well marked, and the
epidermis OF the arms in each case came
away like the skin of snake. The follow
ing was the exact treatment followed in
each case Thoroughly annoint the pa,
tient twice daily with sulphur ointment ;
give five to ten grains Of sulphur in lit
tie jam three times day. Sufficient sui
phur was burned twice daily on Goals on
a shovel, to fill the room with the fumes,
and, of course, was thoroughly inhaled by
the patient. Under this mode Of treatment
each case improved Immediately, and none
were over eight days in making complete
recovery, AMI G.l.-1y lolasye IN each it
was prevented from spreading by the treat
ment adopted. One case was in large
school. Having had large experience
in scarlet fever last year and this, | feel
some confidence in myown Judgment aud
l am of the opinion that the very nildest
cases 7 ever saw do not do half so well as
bad cases do by the sulphur treatment,
and, as far as l can judge, sulphur is as
near 5 specific for scarlet fever as pos
slble."
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-03-16
In HE Black Hillga

party Of miners in the Black Hills re,
Gently compared eyes and ears over a
campfire. One said, "When l was com
ing to the Hills ! Iookedsfor Indians until
l could see a mosquito mile away
Another said that his eyes were weak, but
he could hear gnats jumping around on
the rocks four miles off. The next man
had listened for Indians until he heard the
mountain sheep light on their horns in the
Big Horn Mountains, three hundred miles
away. The fourth, with his head on his
pillow, had strained his ears until he heard
the Chinese mailing up tea boxes. The
fifth, in crossing the Rocky Mountains,
had found petrifed forest-big trees turn
ed into solid stone. As he loitered on the
edge, deer started across the valley, and
was transformed in moment into solid
stone. A bird flew past him, and, perch.
ing upon branch, began to sing. Sud.
denly the bird was changed to stone. The
song she was, singing was also petrifed,
hanging down from the beak Of the bird
a cold, cold stone. 1t is about time for a
great American novelist to go out to the
Hills and write about these interesting
rainers--for ten dollars word.
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-03-16
FORT BENTON, NJ. T, FRIDAY, MARCH 10, 1917

search. In addition to the disappointment
attending the non-reeovery of his property,
the Marchese has now to reflect upon the
gratuitous offence he has offered to his
friends and acquaintances, who will hard
" be pacifed BY the circular letters of
apology which he offered on the following
day, while the real purloiner has escaped
uunoticed with his or her unlawful booty
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-03-16

Thereupon Mrs. Suthard became enrag-
ed, and in a moment the infnriated women
clenched each other by the hair, and after
a struggle fell to the floor, fighting like en-
ragged t;gresses. Mrs. suthafd, with an
open knife, cut Mrs. Cowart's throat from
ear to ear, killing her almost instantly
atlanta Constitution
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-03-16

A West Hill man got up in a vague state
Of mind, the other morning, and feeling
around in the dark for his socks, got hold
Of his wife's striped stockings. When he
pulled them on and stretched them up, he
felt so completely dressed that he didn't
think ofputting on any thing else, but went
incoming around until he found a lamp,
and fell to the floor in fit of terror at the
sight Of his legs. When they restored him
to consciousness, tEey couldn't make him
believe that the house hadn't been burglar
ized bya circus clown Or an escaped con
Wet; because, he said, i saw him the min
ute struck the ,natoh. just as plainly as
| see you now. Nobody.s safe in these
awful times
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-03-16

A young man from New Haven came
out West to lecture last week. He made
his debut at Cairo, Ill, and his first effort
pleased the people 50 well that when he
dropped out Of the back window Of the hall
they ran around the block and followed
him to his hotel, and went up to his room
to look for him, and kept hin, sitting on
the roof holding the scuttle down until one
o'clock IN the morning. He has telegraph
ed to New Haven for money to come nome
on.
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-03-16
Wanted a We rse on the End.

He was a country-looking chap, with an
odd mixture of sorrow and resignation on
his lean countenance, and he dropped up
on the startled advertising clerk Of the
Bangton Patriot with the mysterious whis
per Of:
"She's gone"
"Who's gomez" asked the clerk.
"Maria.' ......
"Who in thunders Maria?"
"Iy wife; she's gone
"Gone where? n
up above-died last nigAt-want you
to put it in your next issue"
"What allied her?'
'Iockjaw she lay for three weeks and
couldn't speak. Never had such quiet
time in the house before. just do the no
tice up fine, will you, an I'll see that every
thing is fixed up all right !"
Accordingly, the clerk scribbled away
for moment, handed out what he had
written for inspection, and curtly remark
ed:
dollar thirty five"
The bereaved husband read it over care
fully, and finally gave a sigh Of satisfae-
ton.
"That's all right" said he, handing over
the required specie, "but | s'pose you
could put a verse on the end, couldn't
you?"
"Well, yes ruminated the clerk, a
guess SO. What kind Of verse do you
want ~
"Snmthin' tender-like an sorrowful."
GLOW would this do?" asked the clerk,
scratching his head with the end of his
penholder
"a perfect female, folks did consider
her,
She's gone and left weepin' widower." )"
That's kinder melancholy reflected
the stranger, "but reckon it's leetle-
jest leetle-too personal. just you try
it again. don't mind putin up hansum
for somethin' that'Il rake folks heart
strings"
The clerk gazed at the ceiling for mo
ment, and then suggested:
tThe husbands lost q wife,
The children MA,
Died on Friday night
From the lockiaw.''
EYES," broke out the mourner, wiping
his nose with a black k-bordered handker
chief, "but you see don't own any young
ones.
"What do you think of this, then?"
"She always was eontcnted,
At life she'd never carp.
Gone to be an angel
And'play on a golden harp"
''Don't believe thatll suit. You see
Nariar couldn't even play on pianner
an know harp would stump her, sure
Poor woman; she had tender heart, AM
made the most elegant biscuit you eve
saw"
Hanged if 7 won't have to charge yo
extra growled the clerk = amt
Longfellow Or Tennyson.'
Il know" meekly replied the "weepir
widover.'' "Just try once more, won
you?,
So the clerk did try, and at last groun
out the following:
ION earth could not stay Mariar,
So she died and went up higher
"Sorter irrevcrent, arn't it2a an1iousl
; asked Maria's relict. q reckon ! vouldn
grudge a couple of dollars for bang-u
verse"
Thus stimulated, the machine poet b
came suddenly inspired, and exultingl
produced;
nery for Maria
Alas she is no more
Joined the singing seraphs
Upon the other shore.
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-03-16
The way Lawyers do Their Courting

The way Lawyers do Their Courting,
The Washington correspondent Of the
Cleveland Herald tells the story of Charles
O'Conor's wooing in the following interest
ing paragraph The young and beautiful
widow Of Commodore McCracken, of our
aseH : returned from abroad after her hus-
band's death, and finding her financial af
fairs in a complicated state, went to Mr..
o'Conor to get his legal advice in olsen
tangling them. Mr., O'Conor, upon exam
ination, discovered that the Commodore
had died insolvent, and the beautiful Wild
ow was left to the cold mercies Of a selfish
world without penny to call her own
This he was obliged to break to her, where
upon she held up her hands in piteous dis
NAV, crying, "Oh! Mr. O'Conor, what
shall I do? I who have lived in luxury
all my life |" Madam said the great
lawyer, "the best advice can give you, is
to marry me-" Whereupon they were mar
ried.
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-03-16

The Western boy who didn't get any
thing in his Christmas stocking explained
the matter thus to his comrades: I'D
have been all right only I couldn't stand
sass. | think dad had a pair Of skates for
me- but when I went home that night he
began to blow arouud aud give me sass
for not splitting wood. | stood it as long
as | could, and then | had to 60 for him
| told him just what | thought OF his con
duet. and then one ofus left the house anc
hasn't been home since. I'm waiting foI
him to put a personalin the papers, saying
Come home, darling all is forgiven ane
then I'll rush.
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-03-16

He was young man and he looked like
a student-like one of the students in at
tendance at Harvard College. Moreover,
his prompt action, as he saw a loafof bread
on the crosswalk up Woodward avenue,
went to show that he was fond of football,
and therefore student at Hartford. He
reasoned that the loaf had fallen from a
bakers sleigh, and further reasoned that
it was better for him to kick it into forty
pieces than for some poor man to find it.
He kicked. He kicked for all he was worth,
and uttering wall Of agony, he limped to
the fence and leaned against it and swore
like a pirate. The interior of that "lost
loaf of bread was a handsome cobblestone.
put there for just such an emergency.
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-03-16

The afflicted one uneasiiy took chew O.
tobacco, and whispered;
Beautiful; but there's one thing that
spiles it. Mariar hadn't any more melody
in her than an old plough, an it's deliberit
lynn to speak of her as vocalist. None
of them other syrups (seraphs you alluded
to could keep time with her."
"Wel," thoughtfully remarked the dis
comftted clerk, "if this amt all Q. K.
you'll have to hire special poet; I'm play
ed out:
"Affliction sore
Long time she bore,
Physicians were in vain!
Lock-iaw ketched her,
death It It fct f tci1ezzzsa cii1zzs her, seeer
Gone-to rise again"
"Tell you what" enthusiastically ex-
claimed the widower, "that's tip top
Here's your two dollars you've airnt
them. A young man that can make up
sich afectin lines as them has got giori-
GUS future before him u
And squeezing the exhausted poets
hand, the elated speaker left in search Of q
pair of black kid gloves.
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-03-16

There is an old German proverb to the
effect that . great var leaves the country
with three arnies-an army ofcripples, an
army af monrners, and an army Of thieves.
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-03-16
Eloped on the Morning Previous.

An affecting story comes from Oakland.
4 wealthy. middle-aged Englishman had
become somewhat jealous Of his pretty
wife. A young New Yorker, with engag-
ing manners and cutaway coat, was the
cause of his disquietude. The disturbed
benedict concluded to try the threadbare
trick, Of ostensibly going up to Sacramen-
to for week. The second day, however,
he returned and let himself quietly into
the house. In the library were several
coats Of mail brought from England, and
in one of these he hid. Then he awaited
developments. To his great astonishment
8 o'clock passed without any one calling or
his wife coming down stairs. At about !
o'clock, he fell asleep through fatigue, and
began snoring. The butler thought he
heard burglars about, so he came down
stairs in his nightgown, with deuble-bar-
relied gun under his arm. The jealous
gentleman had just began to dream he was
an iron clad, when handful Of quail shot
took him in the breast-plate, and, amid his
terrific shrielzs, the butler promptly put
the other load into the pier glass, under
the impression that another burglar was
drawing bead on him. After the whole
neighborhood had been aroused, the mis-
take was discovered. Amid the snickers
of the entire assembly the chagrined man
crawled up stairs to his room. A small
note was sticking on the pincushion. His
wife had eloped the morning before -
San Ffaacisco Nail.
Jealousy and Murder ii a Ballroom.
At a country ball about eight miles from
Jasper, Piczens county, On Friday night
last were Mrs. GoWart, daughter Of William
| Fowler, about rs years Of age. and Mrs
snthard, daughter Of 3. Hambriek, about
IS years of age. The former had for some
time been divorced, and the latter had
been married only about year.
Mrs. Cowart accepted the tender Of Mr.
suthard to be her partner in the dance
and as the two went on the floor Mrs
suthard approached Mrs. GoWart and OBJ
iected Mrs. Covart however, refused t.
yield the company of NJ. suthard for th'
dance.
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-03-16
NO. A.
MISCELLANEOUS.

"Countess Of Scrip is what they call .
pretty treasury girl in Washington.
A man on Park Row was saying to an
other man, yesterday, Let Us stand as The
needle to the pole.' Then he sat down or
the ice, and waved his right leg ia the air
A Washington contractors wife remark
ed, "We are building an extenuati6h to
our house"
The --latest man in North Troy stood on
the bridge until he froze his fee5 waiting
for team to come along SO he could ride
up the hill.
A newly-wedded couplein New Bedford
"were serenaded by the Azore Band''-
They must have t11t11i1 II il Acre AtaeFe file file
ton.
There had been a discussion about the
cost Of a dress, and she was wrathy. "It's
all very WELL" she pouted, "for you to ez-
pect woman to be an angel but I'd have
you to know, sir, that | wouldn't be even
an angel unless nay wings could be cat gor-
ing. There, now p
Why is a schooImistress hogging the pu-
pills like Nantucket ship? Because she
is wh&ler.
An Iowa paper speaks of a man as hay-
ing been lynched "for burning the barn
and contents ofhis son-in-law.7 Any man
who will burn the contents of his son-in-
law ought to be lynched.
Surprise is the essence of wit, butsome-
how shen man is climbing down lad
81 asHfnI hurry. and never finds ou
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1877-11-06
NIGHT
Washington Intelligence.
RESUMPTION, REPEAL AN0
RECONCILIATION OF
SILVER.
BANDS Bill Passed.
other Items from h Capital.
BANDS Bill Passed.
other Items from the Capital.

wAsnISaroN, Nov. S.
As q result of the consultation among
the friends of the Resumption Repeal
bill this MOI ming, 1t has been deter
mined to move q suspension of the
rules to-day. for the purpose OF adopt
ing the resolution offered by Kelly
last Friday, providing for the removal
OF the bill from the morning hour, and
its consideration from day to day,
until Thursday OF next week. with the
agreement that the final vote shall then
he taken. II was also determined To
move the adoption OF another resoiu-
zion, under suspension of the rules to-
day, TO take from the Banking and
Currency Committee the bill which
they have agreed upon for the remonc-
tiZation of silver, and assign II for con
sideratiOn by the House i'm mediately
after the repeal, until it shall have
been disposed Of. Judge Buckner,
Chairman of the committee, will Offer
The latter resolution.
After the elections, the Republican
Senators will doubtless take ZONE de-
cided grounds OF removals a with
ont cause. So far as the performance
of official duties are taken into consid-
grafton, the President has made the
removals that he might appoint OIL
Gals who, in his opinion, will purify
The Civil Service. II he finds that he
is indorsed on Tuesday by the Repub
LEANS of the States in which elections
are held, he will persist in making
these changes; but should he not be
sustained by the Republican MAORI.
lies. some of his friends fear that the
opposition in the Senate will be So
strong that he will find it convenient
to weaken.
As the funeral OF Senator Morton
takes place to-day, all the Government
Departments and offices Of the District
Government are closed. Flags are al
half. mast. and bells are being tolled In
honor of the illustrinus dead.
The House Committee on Foreign
Affairs to-day received a communica'
ton from Secretary Evarts, recommend
ing the appropriation Of $4,000 fol
American representation st the Paris
Exposition.
The House passed, under a suspen'
sion OF the rules. Bland's bill for 70
coinsge Of silver.
rsnbroeek and PArois-Chisess CT
gar Makers for New York.
NEW YORK. Nov. 5.
Tomorrow being appointed fer thu
race between Tenbro1ck and Parole
the event il exciting much interest. j
il possible hat tho storm which now
threatens may make another postpone
ment inevitable.
The cigar makers strike still contin
ues. This morning one Of the iarges
firms Of the city teiegraphed to Sal
Francisco, ordering i've hundred
Cinnamon to be sent here iminedi
ately.
Jessie Pomeroy Tries 60 Eseape.
BOSTON, Nov. 5.
Jessie Pomeroy. the boy murderer
serving n lite sentence in the Charles
ton Penitentiary. attempted to sscap'
last night by removing stones from th'
wall OF his cell.
Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1877-11-06

SEVERAL persons OF Boston have
formed the New England Thester Re-
form Association, the Reverend Mr..
Newton. rector Of 81. Psul's Church.
Of that city, being the leader Of the
movement. They do not intend to de.
cry the plays upon the stage now to
any extent, but to rather encourage
the steady success Of those not At all
objectionable. They believe the the
ater meets an innocent aud natural de-
sire, and that after il Is reformed 1t
will be an aid 10 the church, and to
this end they will continually labor.