The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1877-05-24


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tsi and ,hr:,csl snjfsr;res Si,;is IN.
,orohed - mt .eifssh evsr vhan I
analvyed NV own fael;r 5, and saeminc,v
forgsn otbet. cntsiSe ~ nv tomh Wbsf
desclihe other sensstions- .sen sationa that
s,,r,,rg frono ,,ictrres / consd 40 hrinr
INV mind 81 cortemrj.tas picture a
hnme-of wife and NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
tlese seemed n INV sfsfe q onlv adding
r. nv mvsarv fnr wss Doomed and thew
wore Tar The time heinc hannv kent
those nictnres hack
I even maonifIed INV snfferins 40 that
memory miSht he silent. I could not
INIT events tS.rsfsrs settled. Il, INV
thouehts. fixed ali INV enereies. On one
ohirct-self. nreservati1n vould arrive
~ i;ve-.l;ve fnr thoea Tho v,ere even now
wondering whv / was not win them
Reader strova "a hard 10 fcrpef wife
and children and friends Is / did 20 mas.
ter NV dread of the horrible death await
ing me. Understand me, No one. placed
AZ / was. could think Of the past. present
or future with any degree Of cafmness.
The reasoning faculties succumbcd to
physical excitement, they became aptag-
onistic. and. although 1 endesvored 10
separate the two. / became more confused.
I Could think Of nothinr but nv position.
Beyond that. If / attempted to 10. / fore.
saw madness. So. to avoid ali that. I
centered ali nv thoughts ON one purpose
self preserya alton. 70 accomplish this, l
.coulj not even in Thought 20 bevond nv
prison house. Why pruceed-why even
attempt to describe the sufferings under
went? I rayed. I screeched. / fell on the
floor. rose again. reeled ia msddening
fury around nv living tomb. | even
meditated self -destrnction. l was mad,
then. / argued the point with death.
quoted authorities to prove that suicide
was Unsuitable in some cases, and mine
was q case in point. NY mind, weakened
as it was, hesitated to grasp at this mode
of ending life, and there came up at that
moment small, child like voice, saying
Hope-hope Onr' Was it a voice. OF
sounds to soOthe me? "Hope!'' I started
illuminate the Zimmerman darkness sur.
rounding me. The reaction caused by
the strange phenomena was too much fol
my strength. | lost all consciousness, and
fell as If dead.