The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1877-06-28
WIT AND WISDOM.

me quarter?"
CRocKERY dealers always delight in
seeing other people do smashing bus
mess.
SPELLING-BEEs are being introduced
TO Russia. Sometimes they get through
with as many as two words in an even
ing.
THE Boston lady is very delicate.
Her only call for more is embraced IN
the remark, al will have another 0ean'
if you please"
"a MAN in Collinsville, Ct, sold cow
to widow, and before delivering the
animal he took off the brass horn-tips'
thereby saving six cents.
Now the summer nights are bringing,
Where the fragrant vines are elinging,
Tuneful glee clubs, shrilly singing
Ira, Ia, In. Ia, Ira, Ia, lai
While the mule, with ears uprising,
Listens to the sounds surprising.
And in accents agonizing
Echoes, " Hee haw haw. haw, hawP'
-Hoark-ere.
the causes of drunkenness" Well, we
can't answer for all of them, but we be-
lieve whisky causes a great deal of it;
whisky, sir, resolutely stuck to, will
cause about as large drunk as any
thing we know of, although a judicious
mixing up of various drinks will accel-
crate matters If man is in 4 hurry
HaWk-eye.
YESTERDAY when a woman started to
get out of City Railway car she bent
to the left, then to the right, then made
a grab for two yards of dusty cloth "
ing on the floor, missed it, grabbed
again, hauled up on it, fell over it, and
finally waddled out and fell off the plat
form. When she looked back and saw
all the passengers wearing looks OF pity
and contempt she said: "Don't blame
mel can't help being woman. -
Detroit Free Press.
"HARRY, - said teacher to a favor
tie pupil, how many seasons are
there?" " Seven, SIR" was the imme-
date answer. "What!" exclaimed the
dominic, ''after all my teaching, do you
not know there are only four?" 81
know seven, sir" said Harry. " In
deed, that's news to me. May | ask the
names of them?" "There's spring,
summer, autumn, winter, examination,
strawberry and excursion"
Nor long since preacher of our &C
quaintance described a pond in which
he had seen many fine fish, and brought
it into an illustration in one of his dis
courses. On the following Sabbath
morning six deacons were missing from
their pews, but when the pastor took a
stroll after service, he saw the absent
six sitting on the verdant bank of that
, identical pond, and half dozen corks
were bobbing on the surface of that
stream.-NeU York Dispatch.
ONE of the occupants of crowded
Hartford hOrse-car the other day was a
portly Chinese, whose looks expressed
profound disgust as, one by one, all the
men in the conveyance rose and relin-
quished their seats to representatives OF
the fairer sex. At last he succumbed to
the force of public opinion and resigned
t his seat to simpering school girl, but
as soon as he alighted at his destination
4 rave relief to his outraged feelings by
exclaiming, "Too muehee she!"
> MAX ADELER has perfected an inven-
ton which is designed to relieve him
from the persecution of book agents.
= He describes it as follows: 1t is in the
nature of Patent Combination Reflex
action Door-scraper. We fasten II
down by the side of the lowest step IN
front of our house, and wait until a
book-eanvasser comes along, which one
is tolerably certain to do within fifteen
or twenty minutes. The canvasser stops
to scrape his boots, while he thinks up
l some new and vigorous exaggeratio1
; with which to impose on us. AS his
foot touches the iron, two clamps fly
over his instep and hold him fast; stee
claw suddenly shoots up his leg and
grabs his trousers; trap flies open in
the pavement, and the victim is hauled
; into the coal cellar, where we have an
Infatuated Irishman engaged to mellow
; him and flatten him out with scoop