Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1877-05-25
Clerical Embarras.ment..

] M LplsCUpdl CleIRN uldl III NOuufClicut
relates a couple of incidents aptly illustrat-
| ing the embarrassments under which gen.
! tlemeu Of the cloth are oflen placed, pro-
vided they are gifted with keen appreca-
tion of the humorous. Every one has felt
a tendency on occasions of solemnity TO
laugh at the slightest incident calculated TO
provoke mirth, and the worthy rector of
- parish shares this feeling in common
with his lay brethren. From his elevated
position of course every movement among
his hearers Is noticeable, and he confesses
that it ofteu requires an effort to preserve
a sedate countenance when witnessing the
tricks of restless urchins or the actions OF
eccentric individuals.
The instances TO which he refers as par
ticuarly amusing were due TO the presence
Of dogs which appear TO have an uua;-
countable liking for churches. During the
early part OF the services on a Sunday in
Lent, a saucy-looking, frisky little cur
slipped along up the main aisle, and en-
countered hat just outside one of the pew
doors. He first smelled Of il cautiously,
then nosed it around for a moment, and
finally, picking it up in his mouth, shook
ii vigorously. By this time several per-
sons had their eyes on the dog, and the
sexton came uptoeing up the aisle in pur-
suit, while the owner of the hat seized his
cane and poked at the animal. Finding
his situation uncomfortable, the cur trotted
eisnrely up the aisle to the platform, and
thence along to and down a side aisle,
shaking the hat all the way with evident
TI,a vi at1rn a1 a.
ance, and an energetic but quiet chase was
organized, so as not to disturb the services,
TO which, however, few in the congregation
we're now giving attention. Nearly every
face in the house was either lighted up by
smile or distorted by grin, and the cler-
gyman had hard struggle to restrain his
emotions as he witnessed the clever way in
which the dog again and again lodged his
pursuers, still clinging to the hat, which
was by this time only wreck of its former
self Finally, the cur made his escape
through an opened door, and order was re-
stored. But the climax, for the clergyman
at least, came moment later, when, in
continuing his reading, he encountered a
warning reference to dogs-Matthew, xv.,
26. In running his eye down the page he
fortunately detected it before the words
ca me to his lips, and like flash the thought
occurred to him that to read this after what
had happened, could not fail to provoke
merriment both on his own part and that
of his hearers. As the best course out of
the dilemma, therefore, be skipped the OBJ
jectionable sentence, and none of his hear
ers suspected the true reason of his strange
expression of countenance and faltering
tone at the time. He had conquered, but
not wishing to endure second trial, gave
the sexton rigid orders for the future con-
cerning dogs.
Only few weeks afterward, however,
and while the affair above related was still
fresh in his memory, another adventure of
the same nature occurred. A country
couple came into the city to be married,
and the service was performed in the
church. Accompanying the couple was
brother of the bridegroom, who brought a
dog with him, The groom having one also,
and both having escaped the notice of the
sexton. The brother seated himself in
front pew, and undertook the task OF keep
ing both dogs quiet. At first they were in
the aisle, but eventually the brother lured
his own dog into the pew, and placing the
animals head between his knees, held him
fast. Then he endeavored to entice the
other into the pew by swapping his fingers
softly and uttering low whistles, all of
which the clergyman could not avoid no.
ticing. The stray animal would come as
far as the pew door, but then, seeing the
scrape in which his companion had become
involved by overcontidence, would turn
tail and tret away. Then followed re-
newal Of the whisiling and finger Swapping,
until at last the clergyman could endure 1t
no longer, and cutting the ceremony as
short as possible, fed 10 a side room where
he could give vent to his feelings. He says
that since these two affairs he has never
ventured to proceed with a service when
dog was any where in sight, for it would
be impossible for him to keep his mind
concentrated ON his duties.-HdIPer's for
| June.