The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-12-06

LIGHT 'EATERs-Gas stoves.

SENSE AND NONSENSE.
LIGHT 'EArERs-Gas stoves.
"VERY hard CASH. Counterfeit
money. o. ~
The man who invites you - choose:
The tobacconist. IS
DISEASE is one of the few things that
. policeman cannot arrest.
THE World suggests a new beatitude:
blessed are the poor, for their wills
shall not be contested"
THERE isn't much difference between
q grasshapper and a grass widow, aft
er all. Either will jump at the first
chance.
81 How WILL he run?' asked the pol
itician. "That depends" was the re-
Ply; if for Office, poorly; if away from
his creditors, WE'LL"
MIR. GUDGEON-"O Oh, say, now.
Miss Ada, you are fishing for compli-
ment." Miss McAngle-" dear.
no; l never fish in shallow waters"
"IN the sentence John strikes Will
iam,'" remarked a school-teacher,
"what is the object of 'strikesP'
"Higher wages and less work."
promptly replied the intelligent youth.
English is the court language of
Germany. 1t is a proud moment when
Briton or American, visiting the pal.
ace, is saluted with dot vas q pooty
schplentit morning, amt it?''-Cincin.
natl Commercial.
In a large majority of cases of sick
ness, the disorder is brought on by the
excited imagination of the victim. In
tense fear of disease is often sufficient
to produce it. Therefore avoid brood
ing over such ideas, and keep the mind
easy.-Ansey1cas CultiUator.
The latest petrificd man was. buried
near Pueblo, Col, in 1875, by party of
five, who hired a neighboring stone
OUTER to create his majesty for $135.
They put tail seven inches long on
him, and had him made up in the style
of an Aztec INDIAN Chicago Tribune.
"WHAr is the matter with you?"
inquired a gentleman who had called
to See his neighbor, u German, of Chi
cago. "Vell, I don't know-it is de
govt; but w should have him?"
"Perhaps," suggested his friend, cit
is hereditary" II dink it is heredi-
tary; 1 remember my vife's uncle have
him."
I" It's cold here this morning, papa"
said a little fellow, as he shivered over
his breakfast in a wretchedly heated
dining-room. $50 it is, my boy" re-
piled the father, "and SO it will be
while your mother is here; whenever
she is about it's scold all the time"
After that she made it warm for one
mesaber of the family.
It's very simple affair, as Stephen
Pearl Andrew describes it: 'Evolu-
ton is the natural and orderly pro-
cession from unismal to a duismal
state of existence; and thence, by COM
bination, to Il trinismal state; and
thence, again, by reversion and SUBJ
sumption, to triunismal state or stage,
which is final or ultimate
"MA, say, wot's the meaning of this
word-this ere, witch they say Gen.
Grant is doin' it-st-a-c-i-t-u-r-n'-
wot does that mean?" "Why Isr'el,
you'd ought to know by the sense of it.
That means just what it says-tac a
turn-go 'round-that's wot he's a
dom. That's right-ask when always
youdon't know a word. Hevyou fed the
pigs?"-N. Y. Graphic.
WINTER BoNNETs appear in the re-
vived coronet shape. The cOronet is
very high in the center and close at the
sides. Some of these have the face
trimming formed exclusively of clair
dc-lune beads laid on in close rows of
gimp and dropping fringes. There are
In their place are wavy plumes, birds,
aigrettes, beads and fringes.
Two WEST HILL tea cheers were dis
putting about the pronunciation of
barrel. One said it was bare-rel and
the other said it was baw-rel. They
referred the matter to an cid cooper
pointing to thing made to hold beer,
by way Of explaining what they meant.
'Taint nary one" he said, Its kag."
And now the two preceptors are more
badly mixed than ever.-BMrlington
Havk-Eye.
A STORY is told of two New England
deacons between whom bitter feud
had long existed concerning some con-
tested point. Neither would yield, and
the matter threatened to be handed
down to the next generation, when one
day Deacon Smith appeared before his
old enemy and solemnly said, 4" Brother
Jones, It's shame that this quarrel of
ours should bring scandal upon the
Church. 1 have prayed earnestly for
guidance in the matter, and have come
to the conclusion that you must give in
for l cannot
The return of Du ndee whaler from
Davis Straits with a good cargo of oil
has again started the lament in England
that no fresh effort is in progress from
that country to penetrate to the North
Pole. 1t is reported that the straits are
full of floating ice, and the inference is
that the Palaocrystic Sea has broken
up. OF course people are saying that
if Capt. Mares had been careful to pre-
vent his expedition from contracting
scurvy the ships might have remained
another season in high ATTITUDES. and
this year would have had the chance Of
penetrating to a more northerly point,
perhaps OF solving the mystery OF the
pole. The tone Of the English press on
this subject has changed greatly. When
Capt. Mares returned the general ten
dency was to accept his verdict of
"Pole impracticable, at all events by
way of Smiths Sound. But since the
Howgate Expedition has been organized
there is evidently fear that the crown
ing honor of Arctic discovery may be
graspcd by Americans.-Nev York
Tribune.
Wreck Of the War Steamer Huron
Nearly 100 Lives Lost.
THE disaster occurred during the ter
rifle storm which ragged along the east
ern Atlantic coast on Friday night.
The vessel was driven on point OF
rock known as the Nagshead, an ugly
reef that crOnS nm sOme two miles O,,t