The Centre reporter. [volume] (Centre Hall, Pa.) 1871-1940, 1877-01-18
Items Inter

Colorado woman has collected fifty
buAhelR ul gFnsMhoppers, and acaldnd hna
dried them for winter chicken ieed.
A {yolnaa Gal farmer sold hia wheat
crop The other day for a65s. 600, realizing
thereby profit q s300,00
A Young mans friends object 70 his
being loose but, somehow, they have
nn equal objection % his being tight
To be unkind or rude 70 oihsrs, and
vet expect 70 be treated by them with
courtesy and affection, II - selfish as i
is absurd
The anoiants built their theaters in the
first place vita view % people getting
into them, and second with a view 70 their
getting out
This IA a Gaelic proverb RI the best
mans faults were written upon his fore
head, Il would make him pull his haa
over his eyes.
Ten grain ships are In the hnrbor of
Portland Oregon. four Of which are
loading for EnQinnd. Wheat ont there
is worth 81 60 per bushel.
The business of theasera throughout
the country. says the Dramatic Aeps,
Is unfayorably affected by the Brooklyn
fire.
The newest article made Of iron is o
'seast iron grandmother, not q term q
reprOach, but q machine for aarning
hose.
Hing Lee, the richest Chinaman IN
Montana, was recently murdered at Ger
man Gulch. His murderers got aooui
$4,000
A New Jersey woman ID 70 cleaniy
thnt ale nses two rolling pins, one Tor
Tile Die crust and the other for her hus-
bands head
The modern cook stove il approaching
degree of perfection which VIII re-
quire 4 competent engineer with q stated
salary 10 RIM Il.
A haraaaed husband thinks il the
dressnaker would trim his wiiels dresses
less aud the butcher would trim ms
meat more, he could meet his obligations
better
Walt Whitman dislikes the idea Of
cremation because when life has gone
out Of the body he +" rather respects the
old shell for al il has been, o. vel as for
cll il hAs contained.
Temperanee has been marked tea-
iure of the Moody and Sankey revival
In Chicago. Many drunkarlis proseeat'git
on being converted, 10 Jose al trace oi
appetite for EtimulantA.
After fooIing around for a whole week
10 open q big safe. q Dubuque merchant
discovered that il hadn been locked any
Of the time. and he called his head CLERK
fool and discharged him.
A placard in the window Of a patent
medicine vender In Paris reads as fol-
lows: @T'he public are requested not 10
mistake this shpp for that q smother
quack just opposite.
A farmer ol Mount Bethel township
cut o4Den an old horaets nest just - ex-
anime its interior arrangement De says
he thinks he viii be able % see his barn
again in about two weeks.
The winter of 1872, In Missouri, was
perhaps the coldest ever known IN that
section: IN fact il WIS 30 cold that pa-
per out there says /" Horses, cattle and
turkeys ro0sting in treea were frozen to
death.
A traveller. on entering Cd inn IN the
north of Scotland, asked for soup. On
being served with Il. he remarked % the
hostess that il WASN'T very good. . Deed
sir" quoth She, "a It's no very strong, but
it's het
A lady who had married IA inyetsrate
smoker was asked Il she had 20 prejudice
agains; tobacco. b which she replied that
she had undergone the smoking process
30 long that her prejudice had been per
fectly - cured
A member of Congress in q debate
shouted: " "Aniictis Plato, AHfCMs SpcTa-
tcs. sed major rcritas. The reporter
next morning made his speech read = 4
may cnss Plato. may cuss Socr@aes, said
Major Neritas.
George Eliot SAYS shat thc peculiar
waving ~ the feeiers % the common
cockroach are not indicative ol der1scn
or contempt. but are the expressions oi
an earnest soul vainly striving % grasp
vanishing ideal
Young man. don't attempt @ carve
turkey when your girl Is vTatcliing you at
the table. FOR you cant dc It. We trseo
il once. and whisked drlmstsck on her
six waist, and have been paying damages
FOR the last fifteen years.
A lunatic. whose mental disorder Is not
suspected by strangers, recently travelled
through Kentucky, aud bargaIned 20 buy
hundreds uf farms Rt riGicuio1siv high
prices. The eiation Of the farmers Was
speedily followed by disappointment
There are SD paper mills, running
qsq machines. in the United States,
manufacturing $50 001, 600 pounds of pa
per annually. I'm the United Kingdom
aT4 mills are running 40 machines, turn
ing ont the same quantity as America
The editor q Philadelphia paper
went TO a convention and LEFT q ncw SILK
hat. worth seven dollars, hanging on the
rack In the cloak-roon, snd when he came
ont TO so home he found j had gone,
and en- old, greasy, ragged, sunbumed
old rag 81 q bat. with . chalk scrawl ON
the hriin please Ex left in it's
place.
A London psper publishes the foliow-
ing advertisement /" Wanted, by n
widow lady, person who j. experienced
in the art of whipping, and well quail
fed 20 administer n severe hogglng with
a new birch rod to two young children
of the ages az nine and ten; wages, $50
per annum. The children are very VIII
ful and troublesome
A new device 10 prevent coal miners
strikes and lockouts has been adopted 10y
the miners nssoci8tion and the coal own
ers in Durham. England They have
Jointly appointed a barrister with a salary
OF three hundred ponds 70 SIT IS an indie
pendent person 10 hear evidence upon
any dispute that may occur between en-
plcyers and employed
A convict in the Philadelphia house of
correction vns kept nineteen days in
dark cell and fed ON bread and water. At
the end Of that time he was discovered
hy n common council COMMITTEES that
made an unexpected visit 10 the prison.
The prisoner, when tAken ont was un-
able 20 speak aloud, and the bad air had
seriously affected him.
The Arrival Of Immigrants.