The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1877-08-18
Sht 9aiIg Args,is,
Facts and Pancies.
Tempus fugit-Fly time.

/
Tempus fugit-Fly time.
| When young lady is caught out in
shower, sans umbrella, what does she mos
fanxiously lock for? A rain beau, of eorse
What did you get R" asked wife Of be
husband. on his return from hunting ex
lcursion of several days duration. Il go
back, he sententiously replied.
4 Some mean fellow says: 'sWhen 70,
i kiss Boston girl, she holds still till 70,
are through. when she flares up all at once
and exclaims: i think you should BIZ
ashamed"
Another day has come and gone, leayiDe
us all older and wiser; but as yet no com
muBieations have been received indicated
that any one has discovered a man who
can drink out of a spring without getting
the end Of bis nose wet.
When q small boy with prejudice
against yellow dogs observes an old uyste,
can 10 condition of inactivity, he at once
begins debating whether it was creating
to point moral or adorn tail The dog
almost invariable gets The 1rsG news of the
decision.
A child, on being shown the picture of
Daniel in the lions den, began to ery.
Don cry, pet" said the mother, God
won t let them harm hair of his head -
va, l amt crying for that; but lust see
that poor lion-Daniel is SO small it won't
get taste"
A splendid item about man getting
klcKed all to pieces by horse, yesterday,
was utterly spoiled by the carefulness of
the man himself. who climed into the hay
NOW, and stayed there until the horse
stopped kicking. And yet cold world
may blame the reporter for this.
The g cam of joy that illumines man =
face as ne feels In his vest pocket and
thinks he has got just one match left to light
his cigarette with is only equalled by the look
OF dire despair that settles upon his brow
when he finds that his match is only a sec
ond hand toothwick.
A rich but parslmonious and very old
gentleman, on being taken to task for his
uncharltabIeness, said: True, | don't
give much; but if you only knew how it
hurts me when give anything, you wouln't
wonder. L am 10 hopes of feeling different
when inherit my brother Bills property.
The Russians army is very scantily sup
P"1 "AtA Oduuss tue Wo0 marching to the
music OF their own songs. We should
think that when man had been compelled
60 hsten to Russian song, he would want
to hight somebody, even if he had to walk
Two OF three hundred miles to find the man.
A young lady in class studying phy-
sloiogy, made answer te a question put.
that 10 seven years human body became
entirely changed, so that not a particle
which was in it at the commencement of
the period would remain at the close of it.
Then Miss Lisle, y said the young tutor.
10 seven years you will cease to be Miss
Llslo why, yes, sir; I suppose so"
sand she, very modestly, looking at the floor,
A young wife lost her her aged husband.
two months ago, after he had lain helpless
With paralysis for eight months. Yester-
day she appeared at the Paris Marie to
announce her intention of marrying her
cousin. Il beg your pardon, madame"
says the clerk, but the law is peremptory
in forbidding widow to remarry till ten
months after her husband death" But
those eight months of paralysis-don't you
take them into consideration" she asked.