Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-03-28
PITH AND POINT.

400 pounds), has just been surveyed
for new pair of spring pants.
A MISSOURI assessor has no property,
but assesses himself and pays taxes ON
$4,000 to know bow it feels.
SOME people like oysters on half
shell, others quail on toast; but as for
us, we prefer eagles on ten dollar gold
pieces.
A MODEST country editor says: "Our
week by pressure of Interesting read
ing matter.
"'Change cars " is what bootblack
said to p countryman the other day,
when he had finished one of his bro
CANS.
ANY one who can raise moustache
that will droop down over his mouth
can considerably sheer at the man vino
invented a coffee STANDARDIZATION
Times.
Grandma, why don't you keep q
servant any longer "Well, you see,
my child, [ am getting old now, and
can't take care of one as [ used to, you
know"
WHY is Saturday the best day to
make inquiries at the general post
office? BECAUSE its ten to one you'll
find the clerks there, and on other days
it's ten to four.-Puoch.
The Boston Commercial Bulletin says:
Little Johnnie is quite sure the picture
of q Spitz dog he drew on the parlor
wall was good, because it made his
father mad.
WOMEN" remarked the contem
platlve man, "are as deep as the blue
waters of yon bay" aye" rejoined
the contemplative man, and as full of
craft"
A New HAVEN German has written to
the police to have watshman" sta.
toned at his store to "katsch certain
" lovers " (loafers) who he believes hang
around it.
IT was q stranger with red hair who
opened the spring season at Niagara
Falls. After seeing that he had red
hair, no one questioned his right to go
over.-Detroi Free Press.
SEVERAL hotels in Philadelphia are
for sale or to let, the st. Stephens, Key
stone and Aubray among the number.
The city has a far greater number of
hotels than is necessary.
SWELL, Sambo, how do you like
your new placer" !" Berry well, massa."
"What did you have for breakfast this
morning?" "Why, you see, Misses
billed three eggs for herself, and gave
me de brof."
The blue glass fever continues to
spread. A little boy wants his father to
put some blue glass in the chicken
coop, to make he hens lay blue eggs
for Easter. A thoughtful suggestion.
-Norr. Herald.
WELL schooled. Policeman: "Now,
then, young man, you ought to be in
school," Small boy: "School? Ugh
there amt no more school for me!
passed all my examinations and took
my degree; got it framed and Jung up
in our best dror-in-room." Fun.
LITTLE girl, looking at old lady's
jewelry-" Please, grannie, give me
those earings?" Grannie-"No dear,
| can't spare them now, but when | die
all my rings and money will be yours"
Little girl Well. grannie, but how
soon will you die?"
HIGH church below stairs-Mistress
(astonished): Wish to leave, Jane?
Why, you have been here only week.
Whatever is the reason? Maid: Fast
is, ma am, I'm used to go to mathis at
eight A. NJ, and that's the very hour
when master will have his Breakfast
Judy.
A MAN who had shot himself was
found lying in g San Francisco street.
He was asked his motive for the act.
/" None of your business; and you're no
gentleman if you impure into the pri-
vate affairs of stranger" was the re-
ply.
LEU BUTCHER, well-to-do, and John
Henry, an unsavory citizen of Cata-
houla, La, fought a duel on horseback
the other day to settle their respective
pretentions to the favor of Mrs.
Butcher, who had signifed preference
for the reprobate. Henry was instant
ly killed and Butcher died the same
day.
Yet q little while, and the woman,
the home goddess VINO now stands look
ing dreamingly down at the sitting
room carpet, wondering if it hadn't bet
ter be turned when she cleans house
next month, will be charging around in
the pantry, wondering how three bush
els and half of red ants can crowd
themselves into half-pint sugar bowl.
-HaaUkeye.
The following paragraphs, intended
to nave been printed separately, were
by some blunder SO arranged that they
read consecutively in Paris journal:
"Dr. has been appointed head
physician to the Hospital de Ia Charlie.
Orders have been issued by the author
tiles for the immediate extension Of the
cemetery of Mount Parnasse; the
works are being executed with the ut
most dispatch"
A CONTEMPORARY quotes from the
Chinese manual of Instructions to
Coroners." the following valuable ad-
vice: elm case of nightmare, do not
at once bring light, or going near,
call out loudly to the sleeper; but bite
his heel or his big toe, and gently utter
his name. Also smack his face, and
give him some ginger tea to drink. he