St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1877-10-26
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"Jane, it is eleven o'clock tell that
young man to shut the front door from
the outside"
''We have always loved you," says
Grant in every one of his speeches to
the English. Yes, and we can do it
gain.-Detroit Free Press.
If you do not want to be robbed of
your good name, do not have it painted
on your umbrella.
Mr.. Hen appears among the members
of the Minnesota Methodist Convention.
She's lay delegate.
A Nebraska Judge decided to give a
horse thief one more chance to reform.
AS the fellow left the neighborhood to
begin new and better life, he took
along the judges horse to help him.
1t having been announced that the
Students at Hanover had adopted the
cap and gown, the Portland Advertiser
severely remarks: The Dartmouth fell
lows are behind the times. Night-caps
are out of fashion-for women.
Senator Morton will not allow the
base ball reports in the newspapers to
be read to him. How can he pretend
to understand the condition of the
country ?-St. Louis Times.
A Democrat of this city was disgusted
yesterday on learning that the Repub-
licans were successful in France. "But
Ohio is all right, anyhow" he said
Boston Globe.
A Kentucky man who went to the
Black Hills wrote back to local paper
saying "Offer premium at your com
in fol for fha linmact fool 4hoa
try, and I'll try and get there in time,
and feel confident I'll make way with
it.n
"Reader" asks what we would think
of a man who deliberately expectorates
upon the floor of hotel dining room or
restaurant. We should think that the
pen in which he usually feeds must be
undergoing repairs. Chicago Herald.
He had proposed to her, and now
with fear and trem bling waited for her
answer. ''Only one word,n he said,
''if but to keep alive the fires of hope
within my BOSOM" She looked at him
tenderly, nay lovingly, and her lips
moved in accents that went to the
depth of his soul. She had asked him
how much he earned week.
An Erie express train was late one
day, and an anxious passenger went to
the engineer, and wanted to know if
he couldn't make up the time Said the
knight of the throttle: 'LOok here,
mister, had rather go into Hornells-
vile ten minutes late, than to run this
train to Tophet on time !"
Children who have been pets of the
house are almost invariably affected
with jealousy at the advent of a new
baby. A lady asked little boy under
these circumstances how he liked his
| little sister.
81 don't think she agrees with me-"
he replied.
"Why don't she agree with you Z"
~ don't know" he said "but can't
bear to see mother kiss herr
One of the Norwich steamers had
struck, and while the passengers were
hurriedly making preparations for their
safety, fat old Dutchman seized a
| life-preserver and trying it on began to
fill it, blowing it till he was red in the
face with his efforts. "Hallo," said a
bystander, "you can't fill that thing;
there's big hole in it." A blank look
came over the Dutchman's face. "Mein
Gott, is dat so7 den better keeps my
wind in me.n
During the cross-examination of the
plaintiff, the following pointed colloquy
took place between him and the defen-
dant's attorney: "Were you ever in
Albany 7" "Yes, SIR" "How long were
you there 2" "Six months, SIR" "Were
you in the Penitentiary at the time ~
eyes, sir; but | never was in the AS
sembly, SIR" The rejoinder was enjoy
ed by the spectators, who remembered
that the attorney did once occupy a
seat in the House, and the court officers
slaves vainlv beat for order for several
minutes.
PAIRING OFF.-William T. Coleman
of San Francisco was talking the other
day of his old partner, Edward Mott
Robinson of New Bedford, whose pc
nuriOusness was a matter of common
talk.
"He was good fellow in the main,n
said Mr.. Coleman, "but he exceeded
any man l ever knew in ingenious ex-
pedients for saving dollar. In those
days / was Democrat and he was a
Republican. One day he said, Cole
man, have your committee been after
you?' Not yet,' l replied. well, mine
have been after me- he said, sand they
wanted me to subscribe $500, and l
told them l would / looked at him
with absolute amazement. Then he
added, "Yes, told them the Demo-
Gratis would expect $500 from you, and
L icas going to pair off! So mind you
stick to that arrangement. 1t will be
all the same to both parties, and it
won't cost either of us cent .'n-Hdsp-
ers.
s'You cannot, oh, day star of my lifel"
he pleaded, throwing himself at her
feet "you cannot refuse the rich, ex-
haustless mine of love / pour at your
feet; you cannot turn from the treas
ures of my hearts devotion that 1 cast
before you you cannot turn away from
all this lavish wealth of heart and hand
that is yours to take, and say me nay ~
She couldn't; it sounded to wealthy.
That was nearly four years ago. Day
before yesterday he gave her 1887 to
run the house a week, and when she
said she would have to have new pair
of shoes he raised the appropriation to
an even dollar, and grumbled about
women's extravaganza till he was out
of hearing. Oh, woman, woman, thou
of tender heart and trustful soul, if you
| don't sealn q man raw evarv time won