The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-11-30
The pAoaograph.
From, the Nnu Ynrk Tinaes

i s-f.sgfs rEUHi Inc IteW 0fk times
The telephone was justly regarded as an
ingenious invention when it Was first
brought before the public, but it is des-
tined to be entirely eclipsed by the new in
vention of the phonograph. The former
transmitted sound. The latter bottles it
up for future use, The telephone can
furnish us with Talmage's sermons drawn
directly from the wood. so to speak; but,
with the aid of the phonograph, the same
sermons can be stored away in the cellar,
to be brought out years hence with their
tones unimpaired by age, and their loudest
yells as piercing and peryasive as ever. 1t
may seem improbable that a hundred Yeas
hence the people will be able to hear the
voice of Wendell Phillips in the act Of de-
livering an Grafton. but the phonograpll
| willrender it possible to preserve fer any
length Of time the words and tones of any
orator. 1T is unnecessary to explain the.
mechanical construction OF the pionogroph,
but it may be said on general terms that If
| an orator empties his voice into the hop
per of phenograpb, it will remain sileut
until some one sets similar machine in
motion when the voice will instantly
make itself audible, and will speak In ex-
act order the words of its former proprie-
! tor.
It is evident that this invention will lead
| to important changes in our social customs.
/ The lecturer will no longer require his au
| diences to meet him in public hall, but
| will sell his lectures in quart bottles, at
fifty cents each; and the politician, instead
of bowling himself hoarse on the platform,
will have a pint of his best speech put Tito
the hands of each one of his constituents.
A large business will, Of course, be done in
bottled sermons, and many weak congre-
cations which are unable to pay regular
pastor will content themselves with pub
licly opening bottle of ''Dr. Tying"
''Dr. Crosby" or some other popular min
isterial brand but the practice of personal
preaching will be continued, since in no
other way can a weekly opportunity be
afforded to tho ladies for mutual bonnet in
spection.
Another result will doubtless be a large
consumption Of orators at public dinners
and il the home circle. Whether a man
has Or has not a wine cellar, he will GER
tainly, if he wishes to be regarded as a
man Of taste, have a well stocked oroatori |
Cal cellar. In stocking his cellar he will |
lay in several dozen of "Bob Ingersoll," or |
of Senator Conkling," especially the scel-
ebrated Rochester vintage Of the latter.
for the use of those of his political friends
who require strong s'imu!ants. AS
pleasant and palatable table orator he will |
select dry mark Twain or possibly
"'Beecher" although the latter has rather
too much body. Sparkling Cox and
''Efervescing Frothngham'' would be ap-
propriate for evening parties, and George
William Curtis" would unquestionably be
very popular as a sweet and not too stimu-
lating cordial. The connoisseur of orators
will become in time as great bore as the
connoisseur of wines. He will be constant
ly saying to his guests, ssTry little of that
'Anna Dickinson fancy you will ad-
nit thai it is very nice, though, perhaps o
little dry for an uneducated taste. It cost
me $4S dozen, and is far superior to any
Gail Hamilton now in the Market or,
''I want you to give me your honest opin-
ion of that 'Evarts.' got dozen of it at
a bargain the other day, AND flatter my
self that it is the genuine thing" The
medical profession will prescribe orations
instead or alcohol1c stimulants, and per-
sons suff ering from physical weakness will
be told to take half a bottle of this or that
orator at dinner, and a wine glass full of
.tBen Butler" before goiag to bed. The use
of bottled orations will, of course, be car
lied to excess, by weak or vicious persons,
and it is sad to think to what wrecks men
and women will reduce themselves by
say three or four bottles of
"Holland'' or 'rralr1age" daily. This, in
it's turn, will lead to the formation of Tenn
perance societies, the aim of which will be
10 ,,ass prohibitory law forbidding the
sale of all varieties OF bottled orators, and
making no distinction between the pernici-
nnocuous sHayes." Whether bottled ora
Tors can be adulterated by unprineipled
dealers remains to be seen, but we may be
sure.that, if adulteration is practicable, it
will be as difficult to buy half dozen of
any pure native or foreign orator as it to
buy any pure champagne or madeira.
There is good reason to believe that if
the phonograph proves to be what its IN
ventor claims that it is, both book making
and reading will fall into disuse. Why Fl
should we print speech when it can be
bottled, and why should we learn to read !
VIII en-, if some skillful elocutionist merely !
repeats one of s.George Ehot's" novels {
aloud, in the presence of a phonograph, we
can subsequently listen to it without TAX {
mo- the sli ghtest trouble. We shall be I
able to buy Dickens and Thackeray by the a
single bottle or by the dozen, and rural I
antilles can lay IN hogshead of s'Timothy t
riteombn every fall for consumption dur I
pg the winter. Instead of libraries filled '
With combustible books, we shall have 4
,ast store houses of bottled authors, and i
hough students in colleges may be re- 4
,uired to learn the use of books. inst as
hey now learn the dead languages, they
vii not be expectea to make any practical
,se of the study. Blessed will be the lot
If the small boy of the future. He win
lever have to learn his letters or wrestle =
yith the spelling book, and if he does not !
Il
evere the name Of the inventor Of the pho-s
lograph, he will be utterly destitute of
gratitude.
Spelling at VassaT. Ii
The following communication, written = :
~ Yassar girl to an exchange, shows that
Ifter all there may be some need for pho !,
lographic reform in spelling our good Eng