The Ottawa free trader., 1877-02-10
Always keep 1t handy,
Do not place it out Of sight,
For 1t cured our little ANDY,
Who was coughing all the night.

ltAtb uulIlOT luhco Ouu budpeo bOUcLiIHcb. An
Austin paper speaks Of young man at Kem-
bers Bluff who acquired the habit OF tossing
cooked pistol in the air and catching it by the
muzzle as it fell. The last time he caught it
was jast moment before he died.
John Damit lives in Wayne county. Just think
OF his wife calling out every morning" Come,
get Damit, breakfasts ready.-Lo@H Journal.
The reform in the spelling of Greek and Latin
Names whereby &C" becomes X" has reached
Cincinnati, where it has been adopted by The
Rinknanti Kommercial
The shortest man in New Jersey is the pur.
chasing agent OF The state grangers. we 10 not
know just exactly how tall he is, but he is short
$1,000.
Aurora merchants now close their stores at
p.m When they get in debt they can close
them altogether.-Etgin Times.
There is man at Eldora, Iowa, in comfortable
circumstances, who sent his son to the reform
school for taking few apples from the cellar in
his satchel when going to school, and the man
complains that his ncighbors ll.,reat him ana
call him mean.
Adversities are blessings in disguise We
know several pensioners of the late war in Otta.
wa who for month or six week before each pc.
riodical visit Of the examining surgeon are seized
with such attacks Of rheumatism that they can
move about only on crutches. Another man
lived in clover six months by carefully nursing
q sprained ankle, drawing four dollars week
from each Of five different benevolent societies
10 which he belonged. Many clergyman, they
say, went TO the centennial on bronchitis.
The prohibitory liquor legislation in Massa.
ehusetts having failed, they haze hit upon new
device TO keep at least married men sober. When
such a man gets drunk they carry him into the
presence OF his wife and leave him there with.
out any means OF defending himself 1t Is said
thar he rarely tries it a second time.
Mr. Hendricks characteristic opinion on the
conference plan seems to be accurately summed
up by the Cincinnati Enquirer, which says he
seems to think nit will be a good thing IL 1t
works right"
Rev. Dr.. Fulton is Of the opinion that the soul
OF Charles Dickens Is in hell; Rev. PbTbc Hama
ford is of the opinion that the aforesaid soul is
in heaven. Wouldn't that be a good question to
refer to the high joint commission after they
settle who has been elected president!
How can woman make home more attfac.
tive 10 her lusbandY There Is no general an.
ever, but in some cases the thing can be done
by inviting the Widow Smith around to spend
the evening,
OF one OF the la Sale county members Of the
Illinois legislature a newspaper correspondent
predicts that Crooker will make his mark ON
the floor Of the house-unless the state furnish
him spittoou."
Miss Anthony is informed by The Burlington
Ha,ck Eye that she can talk from now till the
cows come home, and Mrs DIR. Mary Mai Walk
er may wear as many trousers as a Hollander,
but woman can't be naturally and easily man.
ny, unless she begins at the beginning, aud takes
TO sliding down the bannisters when she is nine
years young.
The young men OF a debating society at Toy,
New York, are about to grappie with the cues.
tion: Rescrsd that IL is jusiiiiabe 10 marry for
money"-E1.
This must refer to the Troy DR.. schliemann
has just been digging up. Surely no modern de-
batting club would discuss such question No
one. we hope, preiends 10 justify marriage on
any other ground.
Fitzpatrick swears that he went down to North
Carolina after election with credentials from
Chandler and slOo for his personal expense.
And that is what he called "bloody- shit can.
paign with plenty Of money World.
Prof Proctor declares that the suns heat viii
last but 2o,ooo'ooo years longer. Aud they rre
raising the price Of coal, too.
Fragments OF Scottish prayers: "oh, Lord. We
would not presurue TO dictate" or an event &C.
complished: -oh, Lord, At was thy sin; It
would not have been mine. Nevertheless a. Il 10
from thee, after Thy fun deliberaton. we bow 70
thy decree