The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-06-23

ShIlI VI DlSindTCh OF OOTISCudhOH IL Il
long correspondence, but there has been
one going on during the past week be-
tween young lady who lives near MON
Park and a clerk in a dry-goods store
down town, which, for tact and fertility
of resource, would eXtort, were it fully
known, the admiration of all Europe and
America He has been paying the young
lady very marked attention for the last
ten months, and as she would like to
take a wedding trip to the East this sum-
mer, or else enter her suit for breach of
promise before the courts take their va
cation, she wants to hurry up things.
Accordingly she has begun writing let
tiers to him, aided by her affectionate
brother, who is studying for the law; and
he, being of suspicious disposition, is
giving her most guarded replies Last
Saturday week she wrote him as follows:
MAY 5-DEAREsT HOWARD: Mamma will
not be in this evening | shall be at home
after 1880, and am afraid l shall be terribly
lonesome if no one calls. Ever yours,
....... ADA. o
When the young man got this he winked
and said to himself, laconically mot
much she doesn't" and wrote back:
DEAR Miss ADA-I regret that your re-
spected mother will be absent, as ! had in
tended to call this evening to see If her health
had improved. Your note, however, reas-
sures me. You speak of being lonesome.
All, know too well the feeling, but in the
company of our beloved authors, Milton,
Shakespeare, Jeremy Taylor, Watts and all
those immortal friends who are never from
home and never out of temper, how can we
be lonesome?
When the young woman had read this
| as far as 9 company of our beloved" she
felt rather triumphant, but at the next
word she bowed her beautiful head on
ner hands and burst into tears, saying:
"He's just as mean as old get-out" Her
brother Algernon readit retlectively, and
said: {" He demurs; we must join action
and plead to the jurisdiction. This is a
deep serpent, sis; he doesn't wear his
sting upon his sleeve, but I'll fetch him."
Then she dried her tears and wrote:
1t was unlind of you not to come last
night, but Ferdinand was here, and stayed
till nearly eleven. He is such darling fell
low, | Just dote upon him. But don't be
jealous. The Sabbath bells are ringing
sweetly. Do you not love the mellow music
of the bells? At night often in my dreams
seem to hear the Ginning of a bell-you must
know which one.
There" said the brother, 81 guess
we've got him now. If he answers that
in letter two lines long the best lawyer
in the city couldn't save him from So
900 damages"
| The clerk read it, sat down thought
fully, and replied;
Don't be Jealous" Why should I?
True friendship is never selfish; and under
| all circumstances, no matter how far apart
we may be or how different our lot in life, |
shall be your friend. Ferdinand is, indeed,
noble fellow, and worthy of your love.
| When is it to come off?
| 2. Sd cannot say do like the bells for |
like TO sleep late on Sunday mornings. The
! bell you say you hear at night must be the
| alarm bell on the West Lake street engine
house. As you say, know it, for l often
used to hear it when boarded over on War
rem avenue.
The young man did not conclude the
letter without some misgivings, be-
cause" said he to himself, as he read the
rough draft, {" it looks little bit forced
too plain to be artistic 1t might be
construed that was trying to beg off.
Then, too, l don't quite like the begin
ming. Why should Il? seems as if l
was SO confident of her love that l
couldn't be jealous. Well, I'll chance it,"
So he sent the letter, and when she re-
ceived it the girl had fit of dry hyster-
les, and said: " Algernon, you must re-
dress your sisters wrongs. You must
imbrue your hands" Then she wept
again 9" don't know" said her brotht
doubtfully; "he's bigger'n am, and toss
ing about pieces of calico and boxes of
thread and playing the counter with
set of parallel bars is powerful in deyel-
oping the muscle. He's brazen, fiery
serpent, and / always said he was, but
| if you go on nursing brazen serpents in
| your bosom you must expect them to
turn and rend you. He must have
counsel learned in the law to advise him;
BESIDES he has taken an impression of
his letter in a copying press. He is a
three-ply traitor. Perhaps, though, we
can scoop him yet" and SO they tried,
and, after a session of three hours, pro-
duced the following ultimatum:
How funny your last letter was! Congrat-
ulating me on my engagement to Ferdinand!
The idea! Who better than yourself knows
where my affections are placed? Won't you
come up tonight? Pa and ma will be at
home, and they will be glad to see you.
THAT'S pretty good, l guess" she
said, "and italicizlng that they will
make the jury think that all our illusions
to the old people were put in to be in
terpreted the other way guess, young
man, that'll make you sick"
1t did, too, for while, for when the
young man got the letter he read it over
backward and forward, and whistled
softly copious selections from thirty-five
standard operas before he saw his way
clear to an answer. Eyes" he said, bit
terly, "her pa and ma will be at home,
but the father'll go upstairs to bed at a
quarter to eight, and the mother'll 90
out and tell the servant about putting
the dry Goldfish to soak, and forget to
come back-oh! know them like book
Hurrah! I'll take a witness with me!
That's it" so he sat down and wrote:
Thank your parents for promising to be at
home, and tell your respected mother that
shall expect her to teach me whist. And so,
II Ferdinand isn't the happy man, who isl
was just beginning to think that | might,
when we knew each other better, come to be
hopeless adorer Of yours, but it seems am
to have no chance You can't have told me
who the groom expectant is to be or should
surely have remembered
The poor girl did not find much conso-