Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1877-02-02

| 0leanings.
The warmest kind OF hat--One that's
got stove in.
Wien are gloves unreasonable When
they are kept on hand.
Why are troubles like babies! Because
they get bigger by nursing.
Good and bad men are less 80 than
they seem. '
A wise man will make more opportun-
tiles than he finds. , MI
A man may weaken himself by always
poring over his own weakness.
!. The ashes of the cremated are said to
make an excellent fertilizer for sunflow-
ers
No one cares about the size of your
foot except yourself; therefore be COM
Portable.
Never before in the history of Texas
was the immigration into it so great as it
is now.
1t don't pay to have one citizen in the
county Jail because another citizen sold
him liquor.
To make the most of the good and the
least of the evil of life is the best philos-
ply of life.
A Maryland jury lately declared that e
man had come TO his death "by an un-
known wagon"
Emperor William celebrated the seven.
tieth anniversary of his entry into the
army on Monday.
OF course Noah took swarm Of bee.
into the ark, else of what use would The
archives have been to him?
Uneasy and ambitious gentility is al
ways spurious. The garment which one
has long worn meyer sits uncomf0rtab!y.
why did you send that message SO
me by "a barefooted boys" Because
knew he was going on u bootless errand "
Augustus now compliments Angelina
upon the perfection OF her toilet by as
suring her that she loobs as nDc rs
hired girl.
Speaking of fre-escapes, the Buffalo
Ersie,s says the oldest one on record is
the fond husband who lies abed in the
morning.
A Presbyterian minister in the Heb
rides invokes the divine blessing upon
" these isles and upon the adjacent ISL
ands of Great Britain and Ireland"
OF the millions of men in Mexico there
is not one who doesn't expect to be Pres
ident next year--and with pretty good
reason, too.
1t may be counted as one of the cur
ious things of life that people who need
presents the most get the least, and those
who need them least get the most.
Some men gain high prize for tri1e,
and others pay high price for tribe.
merous.
1t showed lately in Constantinople, and
the superstitious Turks were filled with
dismal forcbodings at phenomenon of
such rare occurrence in their climate.
A modest person seldom fails to gain
the good will of those he converseS with,
because nobody envies man who does
not appear to be pleased with himself.
Now is the time for the timid young
man to go counting. Lots to talk about.
She says: "Who do you think is elect
ed:" Says he, Did you so to the Cen
tennlal ?" Here is the nucleus for two
hours confab.
The contortions of Hercules wrestling
with the Nemean lion, were us child's
play compared with the frantic wrigglings
of a fat man trying to polish the heel OF
his left boot.
Thus fur and no fodder" as the in
dignant husband remarked when his wife
came home from shopping with = new
sealskin cloak on, and told him he'd have
to wait two hours for his dinner.
The people who walked home from
church yesterday were not weeping be-
cause of their pastors eloquence, but be-
cause the wind was 50 cold. This expla-
nation is due to the pastors.
Handsome is that handsome does"
quoted Chicago man to his wife, the
other day. YES" replied she, in win
ming tone, as she held out her hand.
For instance, n husband who is always
ready to handsome money to his wife"
One hundred and thirty seven Msssa.
chussetts clergymen have pettioned tho
Legislature to pass law forbidding any
one to organize donation party When
they want their houses Quilted they pro-
pose to send for the fire department and
chemical engine.
1t is well the spelling mania does not
threaten to break out this winter; for il
hostilities start up III earnest along the
Danube, the papers Will be filled with
names capable of wrecking all the spell
ling schools in district.
If you send destitute widow woman"
the theatre that night, don't get mad be-
cause you didn't send her enough to get
private box. AS long as she is satisfied
what need you cares
A gentleman kissed lady's hand IN
fit of gallan,ry. She Immediately threw
her glove off and dropped it on the floor.
why do you do that?ih asked. "Oh, ''she
replied,"I never wear soiled things "And
l, said he, picking it up and putting it
in the fire, " do not like to see dirty things
lying about.
The Burlington Ha~ksyu suggests that
if you lounge down into y rocking-chair
and tilt back across the toes of man in
neat-fittipg boot, you shouldn't ask him
if he is hurt, or say anything else calcu-
lated to make him speak Just let him
stand up and smile for few moments,
until he gets his voice under control.
Mother wants to know il you won't
please to lend her your preserving kettle
cause rs how she wants to preserve ?"
We would with pleasure, boy, but the
fact is. the last time we lent it to your
mother she preserved it so effectually that
we have never seen it SINCE" "Well,
you needn't be SO sassy about your old
kettle, mother wouldn't have troubled you
agin, only We seed you have . new one. +"
A little girl asked her mother: What
kind Of bear is consecrated cross.
eyed bears" The mother replied that
she had never heard of such an animal.
The child insisted that they sang about it
at the Sunday School. NO." said the
mother. "It Is A consecrated cross I
bear. ~. Y. Independent.
In an English provincial newspaper is,
the following notice: Whereas, James