West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1877-12-01
EVERYDAY SPICERIES.

BURLINGTON Hawk Eye: The heart
OF the Russian army ought To beat very
high, II has been so often rcpulSed.
New York Mail; The old ten-cent
paper currency is fast disappearing. A
friend of ours is keeping sample as a
mcmento, and already calls il dime
novel.
BRooKvILLE Jc6;rSonidn: A factory
Tor drying eggs has been erected i'm
~. Louis. The cggs-dry-ordinary-c
shcll-encc OF such movement cannot
be ova-estimatcd.
NEW IoRK Graphic; A Californian,
whose family burial plot is close 10 n
race course, sells seats 10 spectators on
his fathers monument In this he
shows altogether tomb-much greed.
The breakfast Table is the new can
dl.l2.c FOR humorous honors i'm Cincin
natl. IL is full of wit, and Porkopolis
now claims that she has witty journal
that is not oxcellcd by any of them.
THE Philadelphia BUiictin believes
that when General Sherman got back
home from kissing all those Oregon girls,
the family rule against round dances
was suspended for about five minutes.
In ono of the suburban schools n
teacher gave out the word "psaltcr" To
a class in spelling. IL was n poser To all
till IL reached the foot of the class, when
curley-hcadcd little fellow spelled il
correctly, and being asked to define it,,
shouted out, Moro salt"
Ir is common provcrb, and i'm
decd il is the creed of the homcopa-
thist, that like cures like But there
is one thing as to which neither homoo-
pathist nor allopathist has pronounced
an opinion, and that is, what cures
dislikc?-JWdy.
PATENT has been taken out for
u protecting stern for the use of
book agents and lightning-rod men. IL
IL automatic, and spreads out "A double
row of spikes, like an inverted pea
cocks tail whenever the wearer turns To
leave hOuse.-Pnck
KIND or PHILOSOPHY.
In church and In Stale
II is rule or bc ruled
In COuftship Or marriage,
II IN fool or bc fooled;
In logic aud law,
II iH nick or he nicked
In gambling and trade
II IL trick or he trickod;
In treaty or war
IL iS beat or bo beaten;
In the struggle of life,
IL Is eat or ho eaten.
- -Pcppooou.
" PAPPY, can't go to the Geological
Gardens To see the anomile fight the
rhinoscrowP Sartain, my son; but
don't you get your trousers torn.
Strange, my dear, what taste that boy
has got for natral history, isn't it2 No
longer ago than yesterday he had eight
pairs of tom-cats hanging by their tails
from the clothes-linc.b Z" Bless his lit
tie heart, come to his motherV
a CORRESPONDENT asks the BurliDg-
ton HdtOk-Eye EDO you think il
is wicked TO smokeT' And the Ha,ok-
Eye replies: Oh, drcadfully, awfully,
sinfullY wicked. Send your cigars 10
this Office and let us burn them up for
you, while you swear off and reform be-
fore IL is too late. IL is already too late
for us. We went TO swear off last week,
but the Office was closed and the man
had gone to a picnic"
FRENCH paper: One of the social
stars of Paris is rebuked by friend,
who said, sternly: "Cora, if we're
you / should be afraid of having bad
luck. The way you neglect your poor,
old blind father is awful, and you 40
rich now" Neglect him2 Why,
you are mistaken" mo, amt. Isn'1
he begging ut street corner not half n
mile from hercp Well, and every
time ] pass don't give him a pennyP
PUCK says that there arc editorial ora
tors in Philadelphia who publish their
own speeches in their own papers, thusIy:
" IL is, perhaps, best Iapplause that in
these dreary loud applausel times,
when almost lapplausel every day pro-
duces immense applause some new
Iapplausc shock, some destruction of
luproarious applause] idols, some over
throw Of loud applause heretofore un-
tarnishcd tumultuous applausel names,
that VIC should deafening applause
Iecur to the more pleasing duty Of [pro-
longcd applause calling attention TO the
thunders Of applause1 better side of
lapplause humanity. Long and deaf
ening applause