The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1877-02-24
THE KIND HE wANTup.
81. Valentines Disciple In Quest offs
Missive. He Flnds Just the Thing
He Wants.

This afternoon young man nbfoIle0
into Ash's book store. with his hands in
his pocket, and sort of hung about for
while with no dehnite object in view.
He looked up 1t the shelves, skinned
over the poets, glanced at some papers,
handled . few nick-nacks, and occasion.
ally made his presence felt by blowing
through tin trumpet. Presently, when
no one vas about, he sauntered up to
the valentine stand and motioned to the
clerk:
Look a-here. hist I want to pick out
q valentine for . girl. AtA
The clerk came up and the fellow be-
gan to inspect the stock.
II want one with some fancy jiggers
on and blue posies, yer know"
Here's just the thing" said the clerk,
opening = box with pocket transforma-
nation scene inside. .tt
"You bet! that's way up! and here's
some poetry in red letters"
Ialways sigh whene'er think Of you;
But hopes the sweetest that nnds birth in
tears
The rose looks fairest whom weighed down with
And eyes the loveliest that srs bsthsd in tears.
"That's the true racket for poetry, but
il don't exactly ct my case. Little too
much dog in it; sort or sniveling. 70 sec.
and numbering like. Show me one about
gettin' married.
Here's the thing exactly" responded
the accommodating clerk.
mo, that amt It; ono With couple
hugging under some trees, with blue and
red woods, cupids over 'sm throwing
down flowers, and pond in front With
lilies and gals all in swimmin'. You know
what Imean. '.a'f s.-Hss'- -'-'a''s7--'a'
perhaps this is the, sort you are
after, !" rejoined the clerk, showing him
one that opened at the back, with bill
and-cooing couple ON one side and
buxom baby on the other.
Nov. that's something like. 70 see
I mean business. I'm on the marry.
am. That's just the thing want. My
gal wore Just such rig as that last Sum-
mer at the miners Union picnic. Did
70 see me walkin' round with her? She
took the shine off everything you could
scare up. Think she'll know enough to
turn that flap and see the baby in the
flower basket? I'll put some writin' just
under, calm her attention to it. How
much2
"Seven.fifsy."
Cheap enough; just take yer change
out of that" (throwing down Q ten).
after which the delighted youth was
trudging off with his bargain.
A travelling show In the West consisted
a"human curiosities" all from one IA.
mily. The head Of the concern Was .
Samson and sword swallower. His wife
Was the fat woman. His daughter, with
her hair bleached and her eyes painted,
WAS the Oircassian girl His son.in-law
WAS the door-tendsr. His thrse-year-old
SOD, dressed in trousers. Was tho first
dwarf, tagged, fifteen" His son. in q
cage, was Fiji cannibAl. In Wisoon.
sin village there was family row, and
in the ensuing trial in Court, the secrets
OF their business came out. Bat they
have become ,Eecoscilsd, and onse more
the old man lifts weights and swallows
swords. the Circassian girl firts with
the fellows. the door. tender shouts the
merits OF the exhibition, the dwarf tod.
dies on bis platform and kisses the
women, and the oannibal bowls in his
cage. rrf.ts+...
A New AERIAL MAcHIxE.-Captain
Sale has invented new aerial machine.
consisting Of slight framework, covered
with loose canvass, which becomes filled
with air. and thus the apparatus 10 kept
afoat. In order to make observations OF
an enemy's camp st night, the machine
is made fast. and Q parachute, provided
with fire.balls, 10 sent up the line, which
OF the proper time sxplodes, ignitss the
hre.balls and this ELIMINATES the sur.
rounding country for . considerable dis.
tancs. thus disclosing the position Of the
enemy's camp. A trial Of the apparatus
proved very satisfactory, in spite of the
bad weather which prevailed.
New York Mail: The man in a res.
taurant who. although well-dressed, and
airy, INDUCES In the cheap boarding.
house systsm Of tucking napkin under
his chin, sharpens his knives together
with loud noise, finds specks of dirt on
the plates. and yells at the waiter like
the mate Of . sailing vessel, Is Q rule 10
agent for paper collars. or partner in .
Arm controlling patent psn-wiper.
>>
Erasmus, who was Of siokly consti-
tuition and had therefore obtained dis.
pensation for the eating OF flesh in times
Of abstinence. being reprosohed by the
Pope for not observing Lent, replied, II
assure your Holiness that my heart 10 q
Catholic one. but l confess I have a
Lutheran stomach" aA5t5 IL.
b. Nom, IN, Ns flI @. n. YIsn
6sofamsoto. Pioehe.
MoTT,FisH 4 Co.
Aoad0w Valley IT.
s#t eR &t ~ 1853