Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1877-05-30
GENERAL NOTES.
Central Park, New York, has 100,
600 visitors Sunday,

, wyoming recently fined her husban(
heavily for flirting.
Con. for fledglings-What popula,
cry fully describes an incipient mus
tache? 'Down, in 'front.'"
The Philadelphia Bulletin remark
that eff bread is the staff of life
pound cake must be a gold-headei
cane."
| The Boston School Board refuse,
to appoint or recommission femal,
teachers who arc expecting to marry
soon.
| The Governor of New York saws
that "the God of nature" is apainst
putting women on the school boards
of that State.
"Are the soaps oil one scent ?" in
qnired q lady of juvenile salesman
"No, ma'am, they're all 10 cents" re-
piled the innocent youngster.
"John," asked doctor of the apoth.
ecary's boy, "did Mrs. Green get the
medicine l ordered?" ~ guess 80. p
replied John, "for I saw Grape on the
door this morning"
A saloon keeper named his resort
Nowhere" 80 that when his mar.
ried customers went homo late and
their wives wanted to know where
they had been, they could safely tell
the truth.
A New Bedford teacher asked his
class to explain the difference between
"dear" and "deer." One bright little
fellow exclaimed, zone is a biped and
the Other is quadruped."
A Norfolk, Va, audience the other
night, when Montague played, did
not know when the performances was
over, and it was only when the actors
laughed at them from the sides of the
curtain that they concluded to 20
home.
A down town man who went to
church last Sunday, remarked after
wards that he preferred the organ to
the preacher. He said there seemed
to be a stop to the organ.-Norae,ch
bulletin.
"What are you doing now, Alexis ?"
is the cable message daily received by
the Grand Duke from his wife. His
invariable reply is that he is Just
starting out for divine service, and
will send full particulars by mail.
"You ought to acquire the faculty
of being at home in the best society,""
said fashionable aunt to an honest
nephew. Il manage that easily
enough" rejoined the nephew, "by
staying at home with my wife and
children"
In a neighboring city, the other
evening, while the Aldermen had un-
der discussion a proposition to supply
the place with new style of lamp
posts, one member got up and inno-
Gently remarked, that he, for one, had
always found the old ones "pood
enough to stand by"
An agent, soliciting subscriptions
for book, showed the prospectus to
a man, who, after reading, zone dol
lar In boards, and one dollar and
twenty-five cents in Sheep" declined
subscribing as he might not have
boards or sheep on hand when called
upon for payment.
The bitter quarrel against Miss
Van Lew, whom the irreconcilables
have sought to crowd out of the Rich
mond, Virginia, Postoffice, because
of her aid to the Union cause during
the war, has eliminated in her re-
moval by President Hayes. Another
"fruit. t."-Cincinnati Times.
Mem. from Society journal. "Miss
s. appeared to positive disadvan-
tage because of cloudiness of COM
plexion and-must we write it?-
Pimples spelling an otherwise beau.
tiful countenance." [She should by
all means procure and use DIR. Bulls
Rlnnd Mixtnra Rem
A policeman saw boy leading q
big dog around by four foot string
and believing the dog to have been
stolen he asked: "Boy where did yon
get that dog 2" "To home,' was the
prompt reply. "How long have you
had him ?" 90. ever so long" "You
didn't pick him up anywhere 2" "No,
sir, we raised him from little
child" J" was the grave answer.
| DR.. Louis, of New Orleans, who il
something of wag, called on Bap
tist minister, and propounded a few
puzzling questions. "Why is it." sale
he, "that You are not able to do tn,
miracles that the apostles did? They
were protected against all poison
and all kinds of perils. How is i
that you arc not protected in the same
way" The colored brother respond
ed promptly: "Dont know 'bou,
that, Doctor; s'pects is. I've ia
taken mighty sight of strong medi
from you, Doctor, and is alive yet.
A young man in Chester, Howard
county, Iowa, sends the Inter Ocea,
the following stirring stanzas, ani
asks that they be printed. He say
} they are "my own work, and tn,
first" The lines are headed Give
Fools" He don't say who the othe1
party is:
loved girl;
She hated me-
So, you see,
. We would not agree.
Icourted her,
II She cussed me.
Twas fool,