Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1877-11-30
T. q N :!

THE INDIAN Box TRICK.-Peter Lamb
belongs to the Arion Club, and the other
night he sent around to the club-room a
long. narrow box and a lot of rope. Some
of the fellows got to examining the box
and wondering what it meant, before Peter
came, and one of them found that ole end
of the box was movable, and that The screw
heads which appeared to hold it tightly in
its place were sbams. $50 a lot OF them got
to work, and, taking off the sham screw
heads, inserted some genuine screws, which
held the end in firmly. When Peter came
he said that friend OF his had taught him
how to do the Indian box trick, and he
was going to give an exhibition to the club
that evening. He asked couple Of fell
lows to satisfy themselves that the box was
secure, and they said that they were GER
tain that it was.
''Now,'' said Peter, "you put me in
there, and tie the lid down firmly with the
rope, and the whole crowd go out for fif-
teen minutes, and I'll bet you SO I'll be
out OF the box.''
So Peter got in. and they fixed the rope,
and asked him if it was all right, and he
said it was and the crowd left and went
over to the drug store. On their way up
stairs, as they came back, they heard some
body kicking against some boards and
using the most frightful language in sup
pressed voice. They entered the room and
perceived that the noise came from Peters
boX''
The conjurer heard them coming, and
he savagely demanded that they should un-
tie the rope. They did SO, and, kicking off
the lid, Peter leaped up, dashed to the
window. thrust his head out and for min
ute or two gasped for breeth. When he
had fully II covered he seized the poker,
banged the box into splinters, and heaved
it out into the back yard. Then Mr.. Jones
said to him:
Didn't get out, hey %
No answer from the magician, who sat
on chair in the corner, looking mad.
s'How do you do that Indian box trick
anyhow ?" asked Jones,
Silence from the wizard.
s'Do the Indians do it the same way
you do 20
scornful silence from the prestidigita-
tor.
'sIdon't see anything about the trick
any more wonderful than any other
trick.''
Then Peter got up, and, going close to
jones, and shaking his fist in Jones' face,
said in quiet but determined voice:
You mean, sneaking, authenticated
idiot, [ believe you fastened up the end OF
that box, and if knew it for certain I'd
ram you full ofpoWder and blow you from
here to Peru. you pigeon -toed fool you'll
Then Peter sent i'll his resignation, and
now he is studying up some new variety of
legerdemain.
A USEFUL WIFE.-We had been out to
tie graveyard to bury Mrs Pidgeon. and
we were riding home in the carriage with
the bereaved widoWer. While lie sopped
his eyes with his handkerchief he told us
about her I'm one respect l never sal
her equal. She was manager. I've know
ed that woman that's lying out there in
the tomb to take an old pair of my trous-
ers aid cut them up for the boys. Size d
make a splendid suit Of clothes for both of
them out of them old pants, and a cap for
Johnny, and have some left over for a rag
carpet, besides making ihandkerchiefs out
of the pockets and hustle for herself out
of the other Innings. Give her any old gar
ment and it was as good as d gold mine.
Why. she'd take a worn out suck and
make good overcoat out OF it, believe.
She had turn for that kind Of economy.
There's one OF the shirts that [ bought IN
1877 still going about making itself useful
as window curtains and plenty of other
things, Only last July our gridiron give
out, and she took it apart, and in two
hours it was rugged ON the side of the
house as a splendid Lightning rod. all ex-
cept what she had made into IL poker and
an lce-pick. Ingenious Why. she kept
our family in buttons and whistles out of
the ham-bcnes she saved. and size made
fifteen princey CHI cken cOops from her old
hoop skirts, and a pig-pen out Of her used
up corset bones She never wasted a soli-
tary thing. Let a cat die around cur
house, and the first thing you knew Mary
Jane'd have a muff and a set of furS, and
I'd begin to find mince pies on the dinner
table. She'd stuff feather bed with the
feathers that she'd got off of one little bit
of rooster, and she'd even utilize the
reaches in the kitchen SOS they'd run the
churn-ilad machine she invented for
the purpose. I've seen her cook potato
GO Il
back ducks, and she had way of doctor
ing up shavings that the pig'd eat 'em and
grow fat on 'em. 1 believe that woman
could build a four-story hotel if you'd
given her single pine board; or steam
boat out of a Wash boiler; and the very las I;
thing she said to me was to bury her in
the garden SOS she d be useful down below
there, helping to shove up the cabbages.
IL never see her like again.
What statue is that % saed strarg
er, as he gaZed upon the marble pie at the
W. st end of the capital grounds, the OF er
day.
That, SIR said a bystander, sit is the
monument of Peace.''
Peace, exclaimed the stranger "Are
not those two women at the top?"
''Yes, History and America" was the
reply.
well, who ever heard of peace where
there was two women!''
A Medical journal gives the antidotes to
a number of poisons, and adds: "These
.o,,a1;ac rnuct ha uivap hnfora tho doctor