davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-03-30
WHAT THE WITS SAY.

Whitehall 1inass:-"S Some people like
oysters on a, half shell, others quail ON
toast, but as for us we prefer eagles on $40
gold pieces"
Danbury Nesos:-'' Put peck of Jersey
mosquitoes under blue glass and in two
days you will have spring chickens large
enough for the New York boarding
houses.'
Bridgeport StaDdard:-ss Tho Hera Id
2. /. says the Boston girls excel in mathe.
matics, which, we suppose, is it's rounda-
bout way of intimating that their figures
are good" --..
Danbury Nesos:-" A line of canal boats
six miles long passed Schenectady last
week. They Were loaded with blue glass
for the use of men. who expected to become
Tilden's private seeretaries.''
Strawberries have appeared; but the
best way to cook beans is TO bake them in
porous earthen pot placing piece of fat
pork in the top SO that it may triekle down
and hug the beans.-N. r Herald.
--Sometmes we catch faint gimpses in our stiles
midnight dreams,
or angels swinging oensers, waiting mist-wreaths
o'er blue streams.--N. Y. Herald.
Then the vapory vestlas vanish and the ccnsers pae
and pass,
And we catch glimpse of fairies bringing lager in
b bluo glass.--N 2. Graphic. -
A gentleman met citizen Of Somerville
recently, and said to him, 8. Your home is
in Somerville. I believer" sNo," re-
piled the Somerville man, "my home is in
heaven" Let me give you a little ad-
vice. said the gentleman. ssYou hurry
and get postal card and write your folks
that you are never coming home. .n-Bostoa
Herald.
The dairymaid's ditty, "'Tis butter little
faded aower.'' The butcher. " Meat me
by moonlight alone. IN. r. Gem. Adg.
The fugitive conyict's, g Flee as bird to
the mountains The imprisoned con-
yict's, "Tyrant, soon I'll burst these
chains. Novastoyas Herald. The Black
Hills miners, Silver threads among the
gold" The cooks, Hold the fork, fry
ham coming. p Toakers Gazette.
Osborne (Kan.) Farmer:--"We have
taken wood, potatoes, corn, eggs, butter,
onions, cabbages, chicken, stone, lumber,
labor, sand, calico, sauerkraut, second
hand clothing, coon skins and bug juice
on subscriptions, in our time, and now
man writes to MS to know If we would
send the paper six months for large owl.
There are few things an editor would re-
fuse on subscriptions, and If we come
across any fellow who is ont of owl and is
in need of one we'll do it. !"
Much gossip has been occasioned in
Watertown by young man who tenderly
bid his sweetheart ssgood night, " at the
front door, and was found in tho basement
an hour later, holding the servant girl in
his lap. Rome has case ahead of that.
4 young man who bid his sweetheart good
night, because I'D said ha Nas going to
prayer meeting, ms discovered 10 hour
later trying d get cast=sron Iaznp post
into his lap. II Eoox two policemen hi
reacne the lasap post laosAa ksatlslsl.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-03-30
BLUE GLASS NOTES.

Blue glass slippers cure corns.
Blue glass pills are not good for chapped
| hands.
Blue glass neckties are all the rage in
New York.
Cinderella's sisters were blue because she
wore glass slippers. ...
A blue glass coffin will never make up
for mis-spent life.
Gen. Pleasanton's discovery bids fair to
cure every one Of the blues.
Onions raised under blue glass have a
soft radiance like unto the perfume of vio-
let's.
Pounded blue glass and corn meal are
good for the Long Island liver complaint.
When Music, Heavenly Maid, was young,
such foolishness as blue glass was then un-
known.
New York is the poorest illuminated city
of it's size in the world, and yet it is lighted
with blue gas.
Blue glass chromos are not so attractive
as a yellow dog dangling at the end of a
stout rope.
Square pieces of blue glass weighing six
pounds each nay be used for dispensing a
cluster of tom eat d
A New Jersey poultry man fed his roost-
ers ON pulverized blue glass until the birds
crowed so loud that his well caved in.
A great trade has sprung up in San Fran
cisco. All the glass factories are busy
making little blue glass gods for the Chi.
namen.
Nothing will blast the sweet bud of love
SO quickly as to tell your hearts image
that her diamonds are made of IS carat
blue glass.
A Newark man set hen on blue glass
eggs. The next day she came off the nest
with 4S chickens, and every one of them .
rooster.
Put peck of Jersey mosquitoes under
blue glass and in two days you will have
spring chickens large enough for the New
York boarding houses.
The electric properties of blue glass combs
are wonderful. The baldest heads may be
made to blossom as the rose with assorted
hair after few applications.
The New York bellies wear thin plates of
malleable blue glass in their shoes, which
insulates them so that they can withstand
the electric shocks caused by the too ardent
glances of their lovers
A Kentucky man who had been discuss
ing the products of Bourbon county with .
neighbor, raised his hat TO his deceased
partners wife, and hoarsely innrn,ured,
Hnrrah for the blue glass widows"
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-03-30
The Sword Of Robert Lee.

cFom Tile bangor wing.
When Lee surrendered his army to Grant
the latter declined to take his sword, and
added to the magnaninity by voluntarily
inserting in the terms of capitulation an
exemption of the side arms of (alD the
officers and their horses and private bag
gage. AS matter of fact, of which we
have had authoritative information, Gen.
Lee came to the spot designated for the
meeting of the two chieftains, wearing
splendid testimonial sword that had been
presented to him, and doubtless intending
that the weapon should become the his
toric emblem of the lost cause at the
National Capitol. Gen. Grant prevented
this by gracefully waving the surrender of
the sword of his vanquished foe, and,
hastily penciling the terms he demanded,
passed the memorandum to Lee, who be-
came visibly affected with emotion ON per-
ceiying the generosity with which all the
officers of his command Were to be treated
by their conqueror.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-03-30
josh Billings Aphoris,1s.

Be merciful to all the dunn animals no
man can git to heaven sore backed
horse.
The CRATE fite il fus. for bread then
butter On the bread, and then sugar on the
butter.
The CRATE sekret of popularity il to max
every one satisfied with himself first and
afterward satisfied with yu.
The CRATE mistake that most people
make il they think more of their cunning
than they do ov their honesty.
The unhappiness of this life seems prin-
cipally to konsist in Citing everything
we kan and wanting everything we hain't
got.
/ have finally cum to the konklushun
that the best epitaff emmy man kan hav.
for all praktikal purposes, is a good bank
ackount.
Paupers suffer less than mixers doth
man who don't kno WHARF he is going TO
git his next dinner suffers less than the ON
who is anxious to kno how much it liz = },
ing to kost him.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-03-30
A Manufacturers Ring in Germany.

The establishing of rings for the purpose
of debating prices in the markets, which
commenced in the United States, is now
becoming universal, and remarkable at
tempt in this direction has, according to
the Neue Freie Presse, been lately made in
Austria by select circle Of Bessemer steel
manufacturers. Nine Of the most impor-
tant producers of railway metals have en-
tered into a contract to distribute among
each other given per cent. of all contracts
for railway metals which may be given out
in Austria between the present time and
the year 1878. The plan of operation is to
be as follows
The subscribing firms are to arrange among
themselves which of them are to tender for
contracts offered either by the Austrian
railroad companies or the Government.
The price is to be fixed according to close
calculation of the cost of production and of
transportation from the works to the desti-
natiun of the metals. Spurious tenders at
higher prices are then to be sent by the re-
naming firms, thus insuring the acceptance
of the tenders sent in by the selected firm
or firms, 1000 tons being the limit assigned
by the agreement of the contracts to be re-
ceived by the associated firms. This snug
little arrangement is not likely to be inter
fered with by foreign competition, mas
much as no orders for railroad metals has
since the crisis been placed out Of Austria
by either the Government Or railroad COM
panies, the object of this restri ,tion being
the employment of Austrian working class
es and the support of the existing estab-
lishments. Unfortunately one of the small
er Bohemian firms has, in the most unprin-
cipled manner, lately rendered at lower
prices than those fixed by the "ring," and
this has thwaited their scheme for the
present.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-03-30
Atmospheric Stamps.

While IN Black Hawk,a short time since,
we were much interested in witnessing the
operation of patent stamp battery, called
the 'sBoston Atmospheric Stamp" Mr..
TEL. w. Coiver is the patentee, and he has
brought the battery ont here and set it up
for the purpose of practically demonstra-
ting it's superiority over the old style of
drop stamps. To all outward appearances
the battery is very effective, and is certain
|, a very fine piece of mechanism. It con-
sists of six heads, all worked in one Golfer,
contained in strong cast iron framing
The stamps are moved by direct acting
six throw crank axle, the cranks having an
equal radical division, ensuring a perfect
balance in rotating. The crank axle is
connected directly with the piston rod OF
the steam cylinder, and each stamp can be
made to give 150 blows per minute. It is
claimed that the battery can do the work OF
a 3O-stamp mill. but we think this remains
to be proven. Mr.. Colyer was making some
experiments with reference to the escape
screens, which we believe have not as yet
given all the satisfaction desired, although
Ii would seem that it is quite possible TO
make them success. One thing, however,
is pretty certain, that for merely crushing
ore the Battery is all that can be desired,
both as to effectiveness and quantity. The
term atmospheric applies to the stamp
heads, which are arranged in such way
that by the utilization Of air, the blow Of
tile stamp is regulated, doing away with
the jar that accompanies the ordinary drop
stamp. Mr. colver is at his home 10 Wau-
kesha. Wis, for few weeks, but win be
out here again shortly 10 prosecute further
experiments and take orders for the Bat
tery. Two of them ars to be sent 70 South
America, this month. md experiments ii
England have given much satisfaction =
Msning Regssss, Marea I0h.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-03-30
THE UNLUCKY LOVERS.
A Tale Of. Japan.

Fanny Foo-Foo was Japan girl,
child of the great tycoon;
She wore her head bald, and her clothes were made
Half petticoat half pantaloon:
Her face was the color of lemon peel
And the shape of q tablespoon.
handsome young chap was Johnny Hill,
And he wore paper muslin clothes;
His glossy black hair on the top of his head
In the form of a shoe-brush rose
His eye slanted downward, as If some one
Had savagely pulled his nose
Fanny Foo-Eoo loved Johnny Hi-Hi.
And when, in the usual style,
He popped, she blushed such deep orange tinge,
You'd have thought she had too much bile,
If 1t hadn't been for her slant eyed glance
And her charming, widc-mouthed smile,
And oft in the bliss of their new born love.
Did these little Pagans stay
All round in spots. enjoying themselves
In strictly Japanese way,
She bowling tune on a one string lutte,
On which she thought she could play.
Often he clmed to high ladders top,
And quietly there repose,
While she balanced him on her nose;
Or else she would get in pickle tub,
And be kicked around ON his toes.
The course of true love, even in Japan,
Often runs extremely rough; ...
And the fierce tycoon. when he heard of this
Used Japanese oaths SO tough
That his courtiers' hair would haYe stood on end,
If only they'd had enough.
So the tycoen buckled on both his swords.
In his pistol he placed wad,
And went out to hunt the truant pair,
with his nerves braced up witha tod,
efound them enjoying their guileiess selves
On top OF tightening rod:
sternly he ordered the gentle Foo-Foo
To "come down out of tnat there T.
And he told Hi to 60 TO place
Iwon't say exactly where;
Then he dragged off his child, whose Rpasms evnce
Unusually wild despair.
But the tycoon, alas ! was badly fooled
Despite his paternal pnins;
For John. with tooth-pick, let all the blood
Out of his jugular vein;
While, with back summersault on the floor,
Foo-Foo battered out her brains.
They buried them both in the tycoon's lot
Right under dogwood tree,
Where they could hark to the nightingale and
The buzz of the humble bee,
And where the mosquitoes monrnful chant
Maddens the restless flea.
And often at night, when the tyeoon's wife
Slumbers as sound as post,
His almonedshaped eye-balls looked on sight
That scared him to death almost;
Twas bald, headed specter fitting about
With paper muslin ghost.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-03-30
The Keeling Art.

The plantation negroes were engaged in
pitching coppers. It was discovered that
after while several coppers were missing.
though no one had been detected in picking
up any but his own pennies. One old ne
gro, whose coppers had mysteriously dis
appeared, at length becoming satisfied thar
there was foul play going on, and obsary-
ing that ono of the barefooted party had
peculiar way every now and then Of jerking
his foot up to his hand, called . pause IN
the game, saying De gemman wif de
tar ON his heel win please to withdraw. 's
The suspected individual retiring on this
polite invitation, the game vent on without
the Hnysterious disappearance Of any mora
oppers.-Sauaanah Meas.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-03-30
The Length Of Days.

At London and Bremen the longest day
has sixteen hours.
At Stockholm in Sweden, and Dantzig,
in Prussia, the longest day has II hours
and the shortest hours.
AT St. Petersburg, in Russia, and Tobolsk
in biberia, the longest day has 10 hours
and the shortest hours.
At Tornea, in Finland, the longest day
is q and a half hours, and the shortest
two and half hours.
At Wardnuys, Norway, the day las ts
from May 81 to July "a without inter- D.
tion, and at spitzbergen the longest da, is
three and a half months,
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-03-30

An ingenious individual in London las
been occupying himself for some tim in
deciphering the various mysterious an
nouncements in the daily papers, and con-
sequently finding out . good deal which
the writers presumably wish to remain
hidden. He proposes at no distant date to
give his experience to the world in neat
little pamphlet, and individuals who have
been making their wants known in cipher
advertisements are beginning % tremble.
The next thing that will % heard Of will
h tie suppression of The book and the
aathor'a appearance d Aiaeriea 40 rich
nohIeman There Il more money to be-
paade m being bought oR than in pabli-
eation.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-03-30

A Western editor, who thinks the wages
demanded BY compositors an imposition,
has discharged his hands and intends doing
his own type-setting in future. lie says:
q aowiNG To the eXoRbiTant was5es d
EN- NaeD by painaeRs " havee CoaCln-
ped TO 10 our own II Ype ssTrsng III rhe
fnTuRE AM aLthunt5 II W nenEr lEa4nai
Tue BusInsas - 40 NOD q = il \ gssaT
mysT Teayery IN tHE aIs3. Y
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-03-30
WHEN WHEAT Is GREEN.

When wheat is green in furrowed fields.
And forest lanes ore lined with leaves,
Ard passion unto pleading yields.
And every mateless maiden grieves
For lack of love at such time
My pleasure will be In Its prime.
The clouds, that keep away the sun,
And cover up the moon at night.
Before the strong March wind will run,
And leave the heavens blue and bright;
The sun will shine upon the sea- ~--
The moon will light the wood for me,
And then, ah then o dearest days!
Laburnum branches thick with bloom,
win throw their gold on garden ways,
And kiss the windows of my room;
And then the day! How viii it be
To live in such felicity7
My brow with blossoms will be bound,
And from my fears I shall be free;
o tardy Time, bring quickly round
The merriest mouth of all for me!
That may hear the church boys sing,
And ON my finger see The ringl
Guy Roslyn In Temple Bar.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-03-30
EPIGRAMS, FROM THE FRENCH OF
MADAME RATAZZI. :ss.-a..

MADAME RATAZZI. s4- 1s.47-
l.
There Is no heroine without hero;
Take him away, her courage drops to zero.
H.
What wondrous Inconsistencies
A woman's acts disclose;
She tites the hand that would caress
And kisses gives for blows.
LII.
Love that from pity is not exempt,
After marriage oft turns to contempt.
Nv.
There are many widows who've found
Their first experiment cursed;
So married second husband
To revenge themselves on their first.
".
Iwearied of life in society;
In wedlock sought for distraction;
found confess it, safety,
But somehow fouud not-satisfaction.
vi.
When wife has secret to tell, sure as fate
1t is that her husband possesses her hate.
VII.
The effect of their marriage is queer
With some men--quite turning the head
Making all women lovely appear,
Excepting the one they have wed.
VIII.
For her who has been long a wife
Death fewer terrors has than life.
George Birdseye.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-03-30
POPULAR PROVERBS.
THE WIT AND WISDOM or ALL NATIONS
CURLY CONDENSED.

Everyday Adages Of the Greek, Italian and
Egyptian-The Spanish, Chinese and Ara.
hian. So.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-03-30

Any one who takes paper regularly from ti Pos
oHce whether directed to his name or anoAer's orr
whether he has subscribed nos responsible E shs
payment.
2. If person orders his paper discontinued he rnta
nay all arrearages or the publisher will continue 10 Ry
1t until payment s made and collect the whole aons
whether the paper is taken from the Office or not.
g. The courts have decided that refusing to cse the
newspapers periodicals from the Postoice or r oye
ing and leaving them uncaed for is pra aca svtencs
of intentional fraud.
Papers ordered to any address be changed to ane
er address at the option of the subscriber.
Remances by draft check money order or regiasea "a
letter. may be sent at risk ALI Possmasters axe n
quired to register letters c. application.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-03-30

Regular advertising payable quarterly, ss due.
Transient advertising payable in advance
Special Notices are so per cent. more than rec
ular advertisements.
Local advertising Is cents for the first insertion:
10 cents per line for each succeeding insertion:
lines counted in Eonpariel measure
Job Work payable on delivery.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-03-30

DESIGNATED DEPOSITORY OF THE
UNITED STATES.
Authorized CAPITAL. ........... $500, 900.
Paid Uu TCapitaI I...,............. 1OO, 900.
Permanent Surplus Fund ............. $5O,0O000
Dividend paid March a. 1S74.......s.. 10000 0G
Average DEPOSITS proceeding six months 4S5, 10000
Invested in r. s. Bonds ds..... 214,000 90
We transact general Banking business. and buy. at
highest rates. Gold Dust, Cein Gold and Silver Bull
lion and Local Securities; Sell Exchange and Tele-
graphic Transfers available in all parts of the United
States the Canadas, Great Britain, Ireland and the
Continent COLLECTIONS made and proceeds remitted
promptly. Our facilities for handling
SILVER ORES are particularly good, and this
branch of our business will receive special attention
Cash advances made upon Ores and same shipped for
account of owners. OR WE WILL BUY FOR
CASH at the very best rates allowable. Owners of
mines will consult their interests by calling upon u.s.
275
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1877-12-14
Free Conveyance to and From
All Trains.

TKNHE PROPRIE TORS OF THIS OLD ES-
II tablished resort take this opportunity to
thank their many friends and patrons for the
kind andliberal support which they have re-
ceived i'll the past and bsg 10 inform then
that they have just comp .esed extensive i'm
pi ovements and alterations ill their establish
ment which maAe it second to none in the
State. Ia aaditill to our hotel improve
mehts we have splendid
SALOON AND BILLIARD HALL
Where we have one of Strahle's Celebrated
Tables and sundry osher appendages necessary
20 make 1t d first class place of resort.
4 he Bar Is always furnished with nothing
but the finest brands of choice wines.
Liquors, cigars tSc. The tables are al
way 5 supplied with the very best the market
atfords. Civil, polite and attentive walters
will cater 10 the wants of our guests, and
good order Will be strictly observed.
Again thanking our numerous patrons for
their past favors, we beg a continuance of
the same, believing that We have superior ac-
Communications 70 any house i'll town. We as
sure one and all that We shall make it oar
especial object TO study the comfort of our
patrons, AID will spare no effort to make them
feel ut home.
HINKEY BROTHERS..
del6-tf.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1877-12-14

can always be had at my stables in MILL
CITY. Especial care " i'll be taken of trs nsient
stock. GLO. M. MILLGR
Uni oAville. January i, 1875.
The daily gazette., 1877-09-15

CHERIFF'S SALE.
y By virtue of a writ of Is. Levaria Fa-
cas, to me directed, will be exposed to
Public Sale, at The
HOTEL OF BENJAMIND.L .LONGLAND :,
In the VILLAGE OF st. Georges, in Red Lion
Hundred, New Castle county, Della ware on
THURSDAY, the 4th Day of October, 1877.
At O'Clock, p. M,
The following described Real Estate, viz:
All that certain plantation or tract ofland !,
lying and being in the Hundred of Red Lion,
In the County, OF New Castle, and State of
Delaware, aforesaid, bounded and describ-
ed as follows, to wit: Beginning at o !arge
poplar tree, standing on the south side OF
Cox's Neck Road, and which is also cor
ner of land heretofore of John A. Penning-
ton, thence with the land late of the said
John A. Pennington south four degrees and
three quarters of degree east one hundred
and ninety perches to st. Georges Creek, 3,
thence up the said creek by the several
courses thereof about two hundred perches
to the mouth of q ditch on the land late OF
Enoch Thomas, decd thence along the land
of the said r.. Thomas, decd and by land
formerly of Lewis Reece north thlrty-one
and q quarter degrees west fifty perches and
siX-tenths of perch to corner of land
late of the said Lewis Reece, thence north
sfxty.six percheS and two tenths of a perch
to a corner for land late of Thomas Booth
deceased, now of the said Samuel Il. SUIT
ton, theEce north tweuty-four degrees and
one-quarter of q degree east sixty-three
perches and four-tenths of a perch to a stone
six-tenths east of a stone in line of land
late of Henry Grindage, now of Anthony
NJ. Higgins, thence north twenty and three
quarter degrees east fifty-tive perches
and eight-tenths of perch TO the Cox's
Neck Road, aforesaid, thence along said
road eghty-three and one-quarter degrees
east eighteen perches and one-quaI-
eighty.fo degrees, east one hundred and
twelve perches to the place of beginning
containing one hundred and ninety-one
acres OF iand oe ere s sa,e .l2pe or ts th ro
perty of Sam1 B. Sutton, surviving mort
eager and t. t's, and to be sold by
ISAAC GRUBB, Sheriff,
Sheriff's Office, New Castle,
Sept. 14th, A. D., 1877. sep15.eodts.