The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-01-05
what lIae LOIxerss say.

nc t0Ou6Fu COOK Stove Is Ap-
proaching . degree Of perfection
which will require competent en-
0ineer with q stated salary 10 run
it.-DAnbury News.
"Pa," inquired An uptown boy,
"what IL q sage?' "a Sege, my
sen, replied the father glOomily,
"a sage is q man who never mar
ries. Bulletin.
1t 10 one of the imPerfections of
this great country of ours that NO
matter who is our next President,
somebody has got to get up these
Geld mornings and wrestl0 with a
rusty back saw before fire can be
klndled.-FultOn Times.
Now Is the time to test the
strength of your faith In religion
he who can cit down on q sidewalk
three times running, get up and
walk of, humming hymns or quot
Ing Scripture, such man is Chris
Iian.-Buffalo Express.
The frost flowers bloomed in the
window panes in all their beauty
loneliness was dispelled as soon as
bA0 AALlCuOO nOSCn
against the beautiful formations as
they peered out to see who had
come to take the next door girl cut
riding.-Fulton times.
A peet asks: "Oh, why do we
sigh when the heart is full of the
Joy Of the balmy May Because
we don't. 1t 10 when the pocket
book 10 empty that we sigh the
most. And heart full of hard,
cold winter causes more signing
than the same organ full of balmy
May.-NOrriston Herald.
A man fell In fainting fit on the
sidewalk In New York the other
day He was picked up, and after
being restored to consciousness il
was discovered that he was Rich.
ard Grant White, fine linguist and
magazine writer. Over a door i'm
mediately opposite where the fell
was q sign which read: GAIL Kind
Of Tooth Pullen Done Hear This
explained the sudden attack.-NOr-
ristown Herald.
A bereaved widower called on q
DanburY undertaken for his mourn.
tul services last Thursday. "What
style of coffin would you prefer p
feelingly inquired the undertaken
II don't know" unused the sufferer
"Something comfortable but not toe
snowy. i care more for q good fiji
than for pemp" He was provided
with good ft.-DAnbury News.
Silence has it's triumphs, hut w
believe 1t has never yet, satisfactoT.
lily accounted for the existence o.
the middle-agsd woman who at
tends all the donation parties with {
present Of flannel pen.wiper and
eats 81 worth OF food at supper and
subsequently leans up against the
wall with her eyes shut and sings
Nearer, my God to Thee"
We are glad to see that the ladiel
are forming reading clubs for thG
winter. The reading club is an or.
ganizAtion that diScu sses the charac.
ter Of ShAkspeAr's P0rtia for fifteer
minutes and the best manner OF cut
ting . basque on the bias for an houl
and half, aud rarely fails 10 be o.
great profit.-Norwich Bulletin.
The merry Jingle OF the sleigt
bells, the sparkle OF the crysta
snOw in the lambert light OF the
moon, and the confiding creature
that nestles closely to him beneath
the buffalo robes, tenderly ciaspinC
his left hand in hers while his right
holds the reins, constitute the win.
ter nights poem that Is floating
through the doting lovers soul, and
leaves him in doubt whether to Lei
60 long enough to get his handker
chief cut or draw his coat sleeve
across his nose.-Brooklyn Argus
A Burlington woman who wa
sure she was going into decline
leased her husband for six m0rta
weeks to buy her . $3.50 health lift
and he had just made up his mind
be get IL, when one morning he saw
Shr rush out and pull Q six-year old
shade tree up by the roots, and
chase q book agent clear acros.
Peasley's pasture. Then he changed
In miRd, and Invested the money
on . ladder, 90 that he could get NJ
to the roof at . seconds warning
withont squeezing through the scut
tle..-Bnrlingto Hawkeye.