The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1877-05-10

gentlemen, if Nate wouldn't just sit gig
CLING. You can't laugh, too, unless you
have four casters. 1t isn't very safe.
"Woman's sufferings. Hem Ho-
haw-heml Woman's safferings, my
friends, is an awful subject-a Worfat
subject. It has been wroten on. 1t has
been lectured to. I've heard ministers
pray to it, and my brother Max makes
fun of it. Pause.
81 never heard it leotrieed at on such
rickety old bureau as this.
"My brethren, women should never
vote !-should never vote, gentlemen
and ladies. Vey don't know enough.
Vey amt strong enough. Vey can-saot
go to war, ladies and gentlemen
"My papa went to war. But he died,
But he wasn't woman.
"My friends, I tell you girls Amt
grOa07a to vote. They can't play base
ball. Once [ knew girl tried to spin a
top, but she couldn't. 1t wasn't Mia !,
she needn't fink. Mia was married to
me. She knows better Brethren, I
tell you Wis on purposely-women can
not vote, L tell you
"My friends, Wis is solemn subject.
Let me say few words te you as a mo-
mentum of this matter. My brother
Max. he gave me a mold bad cent once as
u momentum of him, but I frew it down
the well, you'd better fink My brother
Max says if women should vote, Wis
country would go to-
IF the gentlemen in Wis audience
don't stop frowing paper balls at Wis lee
ture bureau, L will fseees' assume this
subject without four casters
Brethren, if the donkey of my
brother should carry the silk umbrella of
my sister-in-law'-oh, hum - could
woman leave her baby crying in the era
die. ak you?
"Vat about the donkey is printed in
the book, but don't seem to stand very
straight without juggling, and ven you
hit you head against the cobwebs on
| top, l fink this lecture is most trough.
"Gentlemen, I appeal to you If
oh-well-if the hat Of my father-in-
law is in the cage of the monkey of my
great-grandmother, ven, I'd like to
know, when woman should voted, if Wis
ak you, fellow-citizens and hearers, in
their regular declension and Indicative
case, fl ak you, h-ladies and breth-
rem and fellow gentlemen, whether Wis
country -''
There was a pause, and then noise.
1t was solemn pause 1t was a
dreadful noise. What under the de-
pressing circumstance pictured by the
lecturer, will become of the country, I
cannot say. But what became of the
bureau is quite clear. If the country
does not go to smash, that lecture bu-
reau did.
Trotty says it was Nate, Nate says it
was Mia. Mia says Trotty stood on
one foot too long. Perhaps that one
foot was the trouble. At all events,
in the midst of an impressive
gesture with the left sole of the other.
| over went Observation-Disclosures monkey
of his great-grandmother- hat of
his ather-in-law-and woman's suffer-
ings in one stupendous whole upon the
Toulouse floor
Maze picked him up. Mia jumped up
and down and cried. The poor little
lecturer was dusty and crumpled, and
there was blood about his face from
somewhere nobody knew where All
the bureau drawers had tumbled out
Nate thought they'd better shut him in
one till he got better. But Nita thought
| they'd better call his mother
So his mother came out and picked
him up, and washed him off, and busted
him of, and tied him up, and kissed
him up, and then they found he was
about as good as new, and nothing much
the worse for the lecture bureau
Elizabeth Stuart Phelps, IN ST. Mich
olas for May.
| Il Word to Boys.