Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1877-08-28
Bragger Out-Bragged.
HOW A REGULAR YANKEE TOOK DOWN
A COCKNEY

A CoCKNEY.
From the Golden Era.l
"Talk about yer darned fast lines"
SAID Yankee to a cockney who was so
as, in the natural way of his
to commence Dragging
on English railroads, while the couple
We're progressing at the rate of forty
miles an hour on the Birmingham rail
way, "why, mistur, this 'ere road is
purity considerable for England, but it
won't do for 'Meriky. We ride astrad-
die of the telegraphs there when we're
the railroads. Now them roads amt
Philadelfy to York, when, ses to fell
low settin' by me, who on airth owns
this garden with white palms around
it?'"
at don't see Nc white palms. ses he.
"'I don't see nothin' else,' ses I, and
q mighty tall fence it is, too
"The fellow burst out larfin. WV,
70 darn FOOL ses he, 'them's telegraph
posts.'"
"And sure enough, when the engine
Teller stopped 1 saw them posts hun
dred feet apart; and we had been going
so ALFRED fast they looked for all the
world like palms."
At this moment the bell rang at sta
ton signal, before the cockney fully re-
covered from Jonathan's last dose.
whats that bell ringin' for ?' inquir-
ed the latter of his friend.
"We are approaching D."
"Well, them kind of bell fixings does
for these ere slow cars, but we can't use
'em in 'Meriky.'
"Ah; why not?"
"Travel too fast-fact, beat sound all
to smash. We would be smack through
a village before the noise of the clapper
was in the neighborhood."
"You don't say ?" exclaimed the aston
ished cockney.
"Fact, again, by thunder Why, was
on the New York cars when them ere
whistles were first tried. Maybe you've
heard of the terrible accident. MOI
Well, sir, we were going it strong. Har-
rycanes were nowhar. All nature SEEM
ed shakin' to pieces, when several miles
off something was seed on the track
| The whistle was let loose, and she did
scream awfully, but it was no manner
of use, for after tumbling over span of
smart horses and big market wagon,
I was just rising from a pond when
| along came the whistles holler mixed
up with some big curses minded to
have heard the engine man rip out when
he saw the big wagon. But the poor
fellow was dead when his voice arrived.
Fact-got the documents"
Extraordinary !" exclaimed the hor-
ror-struck cockney, land you use vistles
YETI"
"Bless yer soul, no. Congress stopped
'em right off, and now we acts on the
principle that light travels an ALFRED
sight faster than sound, which will do,
perhaps, for this generation. We now
tell 'em we are coming by Dustin out a
light that does astonish animal creation,
and reckon rather surprised the plane
tary system at first. When it was first
tried at night the BOOSTERS on the road
commenced growing and the chickens
all got down from roOst, thinking it was
morning."
The cars suddenly stopped, when
Jonathan, having arrived at the point
of his debarkatlon, looked around at the
bewildered cockney, nodded his head,
| and with little carpet-ba chucked un-
| der one arm and an umbrella under the
other, took his leave, sober as deacon
MISUNDERSTANDING of the diff
Guilty experienced by the Secretary OF
| four per cent bonds in Europe, the New
York Herald remarks:
"That the four per cents should fol-
the moment be dull is not surprising
The recent great strike, with the atten-
dant riots, and the dispute over the State
debts of Virginia and Georgia, have, as
our London correspondents observed
some days ago, temporarily depressed
the credit Of the United States in Eu-
| rope. Such matters look more serious
than they really are. 1t will be seen
presently even by timid capitalists
| there, that this country is not given
over to either lawlessness or bad faith -
And so, the suspicion of an intention
| in Virginia to repudiate, affects the
credit of the United States Government
abroad. This is not remarkable, since
one member of a family affects the good
name of all to a greater or less extent
But this subject would be brought to
bear still further upon the individual
citizens of a repudiating State, who
sh ould seek to enter into trade relations,
involving confidence with citizens OF
other States. Nobody would care to
have much to do with any of the people
w llO Hall 1lOll u OC1tG UlldU LAS
ed it's creditor. Let us beware how we
plunge into such vortex of disgrace
and ruin.-LIynch6arg Tirgi1aian.
AN ACADEMIC RoMANCE.-Presiden
Eliot's engagement has made rather
more sensation at Cambridge than any
similar announcement for ten years.
Last winter he met Miss Hopkinson,
who is about fifteen years his junior, at
parties and private theatricals, and was
exceedingly well pleased with her sing
ing and acting, and, in such q lordly way
as a president of Harvard and a member
of the Beacon street aristocracy NAV,
testified his approval thereof. He was
| frequently seen at the 1ady's side on
social occasions, and at last wicked
young Harvard began to wag its head
and wink when "Prex" and Miss Hop
kinson were mentioned. The natives OF
| Cambridge were serenely confident that
there was "nothing in it." Was he not
an Eliot, the son of an historian of Har-
ward College? Did he not count half OF
| the mercantile blue blood of Boston as
his cousins? Was not his first wife a
model of all the virtues, graces, and ac-
mplishments-a daughter of DR.. Pea
body and sister of DR.. Bellows's wife
Might he not marry anybody, and was
it reasonable, was it right, to suppose
that he would marry Miss Hopkinson /?
Nice girl, of course family nice people
in their way, but nobody that anybody
in Cambridge ever heard of! Besides,
it was said that she had taught school,
and not in high school, either. The
whole story was preposterous! Young
Harvard, undisturbed, talked on, and
soon after the multilated exercises of
class-day were over rumor crept abroad
that President Eliot was engaged; and
curious matrons, who wanted to know
all about it, and pompous matrons, who
felt that the engagement would not
be complete without their ratification,
called on Miss Hopkinson and congrat-
ulated her. She denied the whole story;
whereupon it few faster, until some