The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-05-05
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.


Of expense, is the following:
Hon. Tom. Needles, state auditor, has purchas,,
ed an intelligent bull-pup which he has placed
under the charge OF the superintendent OF ruD-
lie instruction for education.
The Murphy movement has reached Boston,
By the way, it is well to heed the suggestion OF
an exchange in this connection, that the move
ment has no reference to the cultivation OF Irish
potatoes.
Married ladies will be so good as TO hold the
Norwich Bulletin responsible for the following
Don't you think" she inquired amiaby, "that
most men are possessed of devil?" He said he
thought they were, after they were married.
And now sits Packard sulen and solitary in
his cherries home revolving the puzzle how
Hayes was elected and he not That is what al
so puzzles Blaine; and it puzzles Pitt Kellogg
In fact it is one Of those ugly conundrums which
is puzzer for almost anybody.
The Burlington Ha,rkeys says that the stats.
tics show that the past year was marked by a
most unusual religious awakening, The mum.
Der of persons converted was unprecedentedly
great and even forty-two clergymen were, a va,
rious times, under conviction. The sentences
them have served their terms out by this time.
John Raymond is fond of matching coin.-N.
\. Hadld. Sunset Cox winks with his right
eye OrriStO,on Herald. Stanley Matthews al
ways holds his pencil in his left hand when he
sha7pens 1.-THE Graphic. Goldsmith Maid has
had the snufies for week.-UetrOt Free Press.
DR.. Mary Walker has burst off II snspendeT but
ton.-Chicago Tritune. Henry Ward Bcecher
wipes his nose With handkerchief Warren
SHtiHl. Ben. Butler squints.
woman in Omaha was choked almost to
death, and entirely destroyed her power OF speech
the other day, by swallowing gaiter button.
We have said thousand times that some scri-
Gus trouble would come of this custom OF Oma-
ha women unbuttOnlng their shoes with their
teeth-EIchdnge.
The L. 5. consul at Acapulco, Mexico, writes
home: 81 have been arrested and imprisoned by
Jiminez.' What kind OF language is that for
diplomatic representive to send to the state de-
partment?
The following is a verbatim copy Of Il tomb.
stone inscription in Pennsylvania: Battle Of
Shlo April g. 1862, John d. l., was born
March ~, 1899, in the town of West Dresden,
State of New York, where the wicked cease from
troubling and the weary are at rest"
Patterson, the unhappy carpet.bag L. S scna-
tor from South Carolina, said the other day:
Hampton would put me in the penitentiary il
he could" Quite right. my boy. That's what
penitentiarics are for.-Pdte Co. Democrat
\ correspondent writes 10 an agricultural
Journal, asking for "a remedy for an apple tree
worm to which the editor petuently replies,
How can we know what is the matter with the
worm"
"Oli.man .afraid.to. o.home" is the way they
designate South Carolina Senator Patterson at |
the national capital.
The Eastern Question" having been thorough |
y discussed, the Philadelphia bulletin now cx.
plains the Western Question: what will YOU
have to drink, stranger"
Mr.. Simon Cameron was asked some time AGO
i lie was related to Senator Angus Cameron Of .
Wisconsin. 81 have no doubt" he answered, .
that my father and his were stealing cattle to.
cether on the Scottish border"
An Allegheny, Pa, merchant has put up
sign; an God we trust; all others cash"
The worst case Of sunstroke OF the season is .
reported from Williams urg, where seven year
old boy broke a base ball bat in an attempt to
brush a fly Off his fathers ear.
Tne war news so a5sCrbs public attention that
there hasn't been new Charley Ross found in
two weeks.
Somebody having remarked that Il great many
people were out Of doors yesterday, Lavender
wanted to know why they didn't go to door
factory and buy some.
The revenue officers IN Brooklyn having dis
covered an Illicit dstlery In the basement OF
church, some way put over the doors the fol.
lowing spirited lines:
There's spirit above and a spirit below:
spirit Of good and spirit Of woe:
The spirit above is the spirit divine
The spirit below is the spirit OF wine.
IN a recent divorce case in California, the bus.
bAnd exhibited broken arm, u torn ear, a lame
leg and thirteen scars TO prove that his wife
haan tried TO make home happy What more
would he have the sweet creature do to make
things lively? Anythng but duh home.
Baseball players are havnga hard time 10
get started this season. Their salaries are now
quoted trihe lower than those Of Supreme
Court Judges
Hartford paper states that there are now
Three persons living in that city with bullet, in
their heads. Considering the hordes oflife rnsur.
ance agents that city sends out, the number Is
small.
by the way says the Philadelpbi, Time,
what has become Of John LoganY' And wbo.
v" we would Ike to know, is this John Logan -
thicdgO Times
Logan: Why hes the big ulm that made the {
speech IN the old spelling books. Died hun. {
dred years ago.
Albany boasts OF a man who is so cold Hooded
That dog who bit him il theleg had al bis front
teeth frozen. II
a Detroi'er who hadn't money any time last
winter to buy can OF oysters has raked seventy.
SIX old cans out Of his back yard this spring. ,
Poverty IS No protection in this country.
The gravity Of a business meeting a, Moodv,s
Tabernacle in Boston last week was dis,u,t.d