The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1877-08-14
NEWS AND NOTES.

Give the tramps noquarter.
Turkey kicks out pretty well for
a sick man. .
ANY town with q whipping-Post
would be avoided by tramps.
The Boston lady, during her hon
eymoon, calls her James q little
hubby.
How cheapa man could dress now
If he didn't wear any more clothes
than he really needed.
What the miner says 10 the coal
companies: "You mined your own
business. and Iii mind mine"
-Theodore Tilton Is in Ireland.
and the question is whether he can
hang pictures In his mig gown among
the bog.
MIR. Beecher's hay fever is worse
this summer. AMI his religious friends
will be pleased Ia know on his sneeze
more than ever.
The poor mans summer resort
A palm leaf fan.-[Ex. Yes. but in
this regard too many men are accus-
toned TO carry palm.
The japanese used I" figure that
two and two made five, but they qui,
it soon after the first Yankee got I"
trading with them.
The fighting style ofaair for sum-
mer requires that the wearer should
20 IL the cutter every week. We al
ways advised a rotation of crops.
These are hard times for the
hand-organ grinders. There arr
rumors that the monkeys have formed
y union, and are preparing for a strike.
Alpine guides occasionally let n
siingy tourist get lost for an hour or
two. We should say this woul.l. in
time, prove 4 losing business. indeed.
The fashionable male shirt collar
is gradually decreasing in height. \
young man can now pass under a
telegraph wire without ducking his
head.
Some somber man on the Pacific
coast rises up suddenly, AMI remarks
that the Government is going for the
Crow Indians '.for caws." Put him
out.
The idea of teaching every girl
to thump piano and every 10y to be
abook- keeper will make potatoes worth
81 per bushe:: in twenty years from
now.
The Mutt Guards" is the title
Of a Tennessee militia corps. 1t is. rs
its name implies, crack company,
though it has ND kernel to command
it.
The antagonism between rats and
serpent is p.overbial. Put one Of each
in a cage together, and see how soon
the rattlesnake will bite the life out of
his opponent.
When Gen. Howard kills an In
dian he stops the battle and has religious
over the remains. That is.
there are Idaho people who will swear
this is 50.
A Brooklyn broker talks, walks,
eats. sleeps aud gets along very well
with a bullet in his brain. He
needed something Of the kind to hal
ance his head.
A fst-boiling establishment in
Albany has just been complained Of to
the authorities. The folks around
there say its an offal trying neighbor-
hood 10 live in.
Another whaler sailed" wrote a
New Bedford editor. "AnOther sail
Or whaled." said the intelligent com
position. who had been watching a part
ing fight on the wharf.
Patti Is TO receive 81. 900 a night.
Though our editorial duties are press
ing. still at these figures We IN. sht he
induced to favor an audience with \
solo or two ourselves.
When departing guest steps up
toa watering place hotel counter aud
rails for his account, it don't necessari.
" follow that he's in name-your-bill
frame Of mind. YOU know.
When Turk volunteers into the
army. his family receives a Govern
lnent stipend Of four cents PER day to
support them. Very few Turkish
women are trailing silk dresses through
the dust.
WILD RISES.
Faint DER my ancy there Is stealing
sense of bliss, When u l-raiing
Some lofty strsin of music, filing -
Ny soul with .l,~r and rapturous thrilling.
And Heavens to my gaze seems "p,ns.