The Hawaiian gazette., 1877-12-26

1t was late when young BlIes rose from bic
bunk under the counter VI q retail drug store.
where lie held the position of confidential and
only clerk. Blles was in love. and it kept him
up late and his habits of early rising were fast
being undermined. On this particular morning
the proprietor walked into the store bent on
finding fault and saluted his clerk with a rough
well, Mr. Biles hard times these. Hardly
see where your salary is coming from out of the
profits this month"
II this had been new idea it might have
startled a Young man contemplating matrimony.
But Biles had heard the remark regularly every
month as pay day approached, and now he only
thought how he might assist the old apothecary
over the hard times.
e think could bring some business. sir. with
little OF your assistance. Give me an evening
off aud box of those homeopathic remedies.
Those boxes. young man. are not here tn be
given away. Take one; but be particular TO
charge it TO yourself. if this turns out to be one
of your outrageous jokes
This ungracous consent was just as good TO
Biles as any other; he not possessed OF
tender feelings Business is business" he
sighed that night as he sailed cut Of the shop
ceeded straight TO the house of his Desdemona.
OF course she was at home. and after rOusng
smack our young man opened q CONVERSATION
" Is your ma in, Desde? If she is | want to see
her.
=. Hadn't you better see pa, dear"
No; send the old woman up. and you Just
amuse yourself with the piano few minutes"
Soon the good mother aud the brdzen Bies
stood face to face.
My dear madam" said he, have brought
you little testimonial, useful souvenir OF your
future son-in law. 1t will also serve to remind
you that sell the best articles of drugs in the
market, and he presented his box of remedies
with book OF instructions attached. might
add that we sell all of the medicines mentioned,
aud you can get the bottles re6lIed at any time. F."
! The young hypocrite was thanked and commend
ed for u very thoughtful and deserving young
man.
Next evening the weekly tea party came of
at that hDuse. and the medicine book and box
were exhibited. Srraightway these danes and
spiusters commenced examining their SYMPTOMS,
and each found her case described to O L in that
blessed hook. The worthy hostess, with gen.
erous hand offered the proper bottle TO each as
she read out the name of the remedy which ft-
ted her case, and general repairing of consttu-
tions commenced then and there. As they
separated each resolved to have box of those
! valuable remedies. which no family should be
without, aud, sure enough, the demand next day
| proved ii.
few days later, and nearly all Of those ma
| irons stood at the counter getting their bottles
refed. Slowly and lmidIy they filled in.
The ustrous eye. the burning cheek and throb-
bling brain. that only belladonna can produce.
were there. The veins. swollen with the deadly
nuX vomica were there.
l., i H., L.,
from its healing powers, asserted Its poisonous
nature in many an anxious face. Business was
! brisk
So long as this wholesale practice of medicine
was confined TO the female heads of the family
not much notice was taken OF it, but soon the
children began to droop under it. Then twenty
! householiers and fathers began to swear aud
twenty medicine boxes were hurled into the
| street. The female mind reused TO fury at
this, and at an Indignation meeting it was re-
solved that the children should be cured their
way, right or wrong. The fathers were pro-
| nounced brutes and the row wound up in more
than one divorce suit, in which the lawyers gOl
the money aud the wife got the children. This
last was stipulated by the female, who told the
judge she wanted them to bring them back to
health and convince her old fool of husband
that she was right.
Then quack doctor visited the town and lent
hand toward keeping things lively for the sick
Finally the place secured reputation for being
unhealthy and that finished it.
Meanwhile the apothecary's stock was almost
sold out before it could be repleuished. But
Biles was equal to the emergency, and every re
manning drug not absolutely poisonous was work
ed up INTO marketable article with brand new
label and a fine Latin name.
The old mans lace fairly beemed as he gazed
his gifted young clerk. after studying the casl
book each morning. As for the invalids abou
town, if be ever gave them thought it was onl!
to mutter to himself, It's an i'll wind that Blow
nobody good; and SO the good apothecary smiled
the maiden smiled, and all went merry as tht
marriage bell which shortly rang out the nuptial
of Biles and Observation-Disclosures.