River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1877-07-19
One Of A. Wards Jokes.

introduced him TO very good fellow,
great admirer of his whimsical books,
but who was something of tn hunter
withal. As Lord Byron said of the poet
Tom Moore, he "dearly loved lord, or
flourishing handle TO his name
Ny friend Weatherwax Eve will soon call
him, for as a good citizen rate-payer, aud
the father of the large family, must not
disclose his real name) had charming
house, brilliant drawing and was
fond of entertaining artistic society.
Artemus and he were quickly sympathet-
ic, and became close friends; but, with
his characteristic penetration, he was not
long discovering Weatherwax's penchant
for swell acquaintance. Calling with
Artemus one afternoon, we were shown in
into the salon, and, while awaiting our
host, we amused ourselves with looking
over the visiting cards in a huge china
bowl. On the top of the pile was con-
placed the card of Lord Cow
ley. The careful position of the bit of
pasteboard plainly indicated that it had
not got there by chance. The eye of the
humorist twikled, and in an instant he
the card 10 the bottom of the
bowl, leaving plain Brown, Jones, or
Robinson, as the case might be, at the top
q from time to time as we come here, we
will follow the fortunes of that card
Suppose we rob him of it outright" |
said with malicious mildness, land break
his heart forever and ever
Not a bit of it; that will defeat my
purpose"
Our host appeared; we had our inter
view and departed 4 few days passed
and we called again. We were shown as
usual, into the drawing-room, and glanc-
ing at the bowl, found the card of Cowley
had been fished up from the bottom and
restored to its old position as "head of
the heap" On this day We dined, and
during the evening Artemus whisked the
card off the bowl and said:
"By Jove, I'll secretc this where he will
never find it, and while Weatherwax had
gone to look after the ladies he placed it
between the leaves of mammoth gilt
edged, gorgeously illuminated family
Bible There. I've securely lodged it in
the Book of job whispered Artemus
''now we'll see how long it abideth there
/ don't think he troubles the sacred tome
very often"
4 week or more passed before we saw
Weatherwax again. The card had been
found in the meantime and proudly
beamed at us from its usual conspicuous
position. This time Artemus slipped it
under the carpet, and in doing so rather
sOiled its pure enamelcd surface.
odds bodkins, as they say in old En-
glish, think it has found a secure rest
ing-place at last. He'll not see that sure
ly until the carpets are taken up or shak-
en-. Ny Lord COwleY, a sweet and ten
der adieu."
1t must have bee- a month before our
next call, and we palpitated with curios-
ity as we approached the house, I'm few
moments We were bending over the well
remembered china bowl, and TO our as
constituent there was not only the card
in its old place, but it had been carefully
cleaned, evidently with india-rubber, and
shone with its original brightness.
That's the most Micawber-like card
ever saw,-it's always turning up.
wonder if he has started new one, said
Artemus, and he felt under the carpet TO
see it, by any chance, the old card was
there. No, il had gone, and the one we
pensiyely gazed upon was evidently the
same that had been concealed.
II am bothered now 10 know where 10
hide that darned pasteboard, but | think
we must give him one more search" re
marked the American, drily. \ French
vaudevilliste would turn this incident in
to a lever de rideau for the Palais Royal,
and this concealing the card is not I'M
like the main incident of Sardou's play,
Les Pattes de Mouche' Now, where
can place it, And he moved around
the apartment in his endcavor to light on
a secure spot. "Ah. here And mount
ing chair he laid it carefully high
away on the broad cornice of the lofty
window, entirely out of sight.
"That will bother him. Hunting the
hare or deer-stalking is nothing to this.
l should like to see him on his travels in
search of the lost prize. / wonder if he
suspects u.s."
At that moment our Amphltryon en-
tered the room. lie was in buoyant
spirits, having enjoyed spin on a coach,
four hand, over Hampstead and High
gate, with a noble Duke.
beautiful ride on Beauford's coach. Coach
ing is delightful, and His Grace has four
handsome browns, the wheeleTs perfec-
ton of shape and action, and the leaders,
though a little raw and new to their
work, greatly admired" And he ratified
on as pleasantly as the coach which he so
recently had quilted. "As my friend,
Lord Cowley, says And as he utter
ed the last words his eve fell, as it were
unconsciously, on the bowl. He saw at
glance that the card had gone. The quo
tation from Cowley was lost TO the world,
and instantly he began turning up the
piles of cards to see if it had fallen be-
meath.
"What are you looking forl" asked Ar
tcmus. with amiablc innocence of man
ner and perfect imperturbabilIty of fea-
turc.
"Only card; it's no matter"
He evidently did not connect us in any
way with the loss, for he soon took up the
thread of his previous subject. and de-
scribed with great animation the details
of the morning ride, interlarding his OBJ
servation with frequent aTistocratic allu-
sions, that every now and then his eyes
wandered to the bowl, as if the card came
between his thoughts. At length we de-
parted. 1t was quite ten DAYS before
called again, and then only for moment,
alone. / observed, however, that the
now celebrated card was absent. i had
not been found. | mentioned this to
Artemus, who received the news with
boyish expression of delight.
Shortly after this we met Wc-therwax
in the street. looking pale and i'll. Arte-
mus, in his whimsical way, Immediately
ascribed his illness to the loss of the card.
"Hell go into mourning, the next
thing we know" protested he. I'll
remedy this" and off he waltzed to a
printers where he had fifty cards printed
with the name of Lord Cowley grandly
inscribed thereon. Making a neat parcel
of them, and tying them up viii cerisse
ribbon In formidable bows, he dispatched
them to Weatherwax, with this note IN 3
disguised hand:
s.Dear W: Your pale face plainly
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