The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1877-05-31
WIT AND WISDOM.

WHEN we see a man standing out with
an umbrella to keep the rain aff from his
potato patch we know that he is book
farmer Rome Sentinel
Tue price Of flour is getting so high
several Danbury people of an eco
nOmical turn are giving money instead
i-ef bread 10 tramps.-Da'a6ury Ners.
BRIGHAM YOU'VE has buried % moth
ers-in-law, and he wants the United
States to understand that he's not afraid
of mountain howitzer loaded to the
muzzle.-Cincinnati Commercial.
HE said he hadn I been in Swimming.
He had on the Brown boys shirt, but he
accounted for that by saying that he and
the Brown boy had been wrestling, and
it was likely the garments got changed
that way.-BrURSlCiek Ne1Cs.
A MAN out on Webb Street dropped
dead, the other day, while beating sit
ting-room carpet. His wife has been
held to appear at the next term of the
District Court. Dreadful warning
Burlington HdUk-eye, ..,y my
A SALEM storekeeper has hit on q
happy plan to keep loafers away from
his corner. He waits until the crowd is
good sized one, then sits cayenne pep
per literally into feather buster, goes
out and gives his windows thorough
brushing. An immediate stampede fol-
lows.
Iris all very fine to laugh at a woman's
tantrums when a mouse makes its APP
pearance in the vicinity of her skirts;
but little merriment should be reserved
for the man who plays circus while a
June bug is walking up the inside of his
trousers leg with the slow and measured
step of day Turner's Falls
Reporter.
WE make the following verbatim OK
tract from the remarks of one of our
German fellow-citizens ON the subject of
the frequent grass-cutting on the Com
mon. He says "0f' l coold write so
goOt English vat speak, | would say to
dose vellers NIT der Shtate- house, how
you vas cut dose grasses so much effery
tay, unit gif employments to some mems
vat do better to sweep dose streets oud,
and doant lief der peoples get shmell of
dose hay vat combs ven dose grasses is
left shtanding sometimes, hay?''-BoS-
ton Commercial Bulletin.
CROQUET will be as fashionable as
ever this year, and the average of lies,
denunciations, and broken friendships to
the game will be even higher than in
any previous season. Experienced
players demand that man should never
play in a stiff hat; that if young wom-
an has a pet corn on her foot she should
have keen eye and steady hand when,
placing her foot triumphantly on her
ball and a rivals, she undertakes to
drive the latter into the shrubbery, and
that when a dishonest player jOggles a
ball with his foot it is better not to make
a scene about 1t, but, when your turn
comes to play, to try and steal a hoop.
Chicago Tribune.
A WEEKS WAR NEWS.
On Monday morn the news arrived,
There had been bloody work,
But no one knew who lied the most,
The Christian or the Turk.
On Tuesday morning Russia claimed
victory for her side,
On Wednesday, from Turkish source,
The victory was denied.
On Thursday each side swore it had
The other put to rout,
And Fridays news the fight confirmed
without the slightest doubt.
On Saturday twas whispered round
The whole affair was small,
And Sundays cable news declared
There'd been no fight at all.