The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1877-01-13
SOCIAL BANDITS.


]
Season.-- How shnli the Miscrs sants bt
Circumvcntcd
The New York Times thus cxpatiatei
on that universal custom of "surprs
| ing:"
The bold bad men and women who
make it practice to outrage the sane.
tity of happy homes, by invading them
under the hollow pretext of 'surprise
parties" arc now laying their plans and
organizing their forces for q winter
campaign of active crime. 1t must be
admitted that they pursue their wicked
business with skill much greater than
that of the average burglar. They new
er attack house except in circumstan-
ccs which insure the infliction of O
satisfactory amount of misery upon the
inmates. The knowledge requisite to
insure this uniform success is, Of course,
the result of careful system of espion-
age. Whenever householder is labor
ing under black eye, or whenever his
wife has sent her only set of false teeth
to the dentists with view to repairs,
the social bandits sweep down upon
that devoted house in resistless force.
Doubles. the bandits are, in many
cases, in league with the servants, and
obtain from them the information which
is subsequently turned to so nefarious
an account. Still, even households in
which there are no servants whatever
are not safe from assault, and hence the
conclusion is inevitable that the mana
gers of surprise parties employ to a
great extent their own private detec-
tiyeS. The knowledge of this fact adds
to the terror in which the timid house.
holder lives. lie cannot tell what mo-
ment he may be invcigled into enter
tnining spies unawarcs. The plausible
tract distributor, the ostcnsible returned
missionary, or the alleged gas inspector
may be the hired tool of social bandits /;
and while he is discussing topics of ap-
parcntly the most innocent character, he
may be noting the weak points of the
household defcnscs, and fixing upon the
best time for night attack.
il is not creditable to the respectable
part of the community that so little eff
fort i, made TO rcpcl the assaults of SUR
prise parties. Usually the bandits sue
cecd without difficulty in allaying the
suspicious and abusing the confidence of
the most faithful dogs, and thus reach
the front door unharmcd, and summon
their victims To surrender. Ii is true
that the bandits always attack in strong
parties, but that is not a sufficient rea-
son that they should not be resisted.
Ilumiliating H. il undoubtedly is, il can
not be denied that in nearly every in
stance, the summons is obeyed and the
doors are opened. The enemy rushcs
in, and all the horrors of Il moral sack
Immediately follow. The children,
awakened BY the uproar, yell dismally
from their rooms. The trembling mat
ron in her wrapper, and with one hemi-
sphere of her head in curl papers, sur
rounded by hcartlcss wretchcs who
mock her misery with protcstations of
pretended friendship, while the man of
the house. in slippers and dressing
gown, is made wrctchedly conscious of
the ungainly figure which he presents
by contrast with gay, wcll-drcssed and
handsome bandits. Occasionally the
malefactors bring. with them refresh
ments of peculiarly greasy nature,
which they scatter among the books and
prints on the drawing-room table, and
trample into the carpet. The mental
anguish and the material devastation
cannot be contemplated by a humane
person without shuddcr: and We're the
true history of a single season of Amer
lean surprise parties written, the Turk
ish atrocities in Bulgaria would seem,
in comparison, trivial. il not positively
pleasant.
So far ;s can be learned, there i, but
one instance i'll which a surprise party
has been successfully worstcd and beat
en- off. This glorious achievement was
the work of an ingenious and determined
man residing in Chicago. Having rca-
son 10 expect an attack, he severed the
wire OF the iront-door bell and securely
rivcted the bell-handlc to the door-post
He then sawed through the iastcnings
of the door-post, and arming himself
with large club, lay in ambush behind
the parlor window. The bandits an
preached ia solid phalanx nj least
thirty strong. \ hoary-headed old rep
rebate who had achieved an Infamous
notoiiety ~ IL ringleader in surprise
parties, donation riots and other scenes
of violence and crime, led the way, and
boldly attempted to pull the door-bell
Urged on by his malignant disposition
and false report that the head of the
house wis suffering from nervous
headache, he pulled the bell-handle with
all his force. The trcachcrous door-pOst
gave way. crushing him in its tall, and
sweeping the legs of dozen bandits
from under them rs il rolled heavily
down the steps. With despairing yell
the miscrcants who were yet unhurt
fled away, and the heroic householder
aalltnI t.npth unA hn.,annl.< tha
wounded out iof their misery with his
club. In the morning the dusimnn re-
moved thirteen lifeless bodies. while n
fourteenth bandit, who still showed
signs of life, was carried to u hospital
for purposes Of vivisection.
May We not hope that this thrilling
story will iniiIse new courage into the
breasts of iimid householders! II
proves that the social bandit is not in
vinciblc. and that only courage and de-
termination are needed to put him to
fight In This land Of chemical engines
and hot water boilers. it is folly tc say
that brave man cannot defend his house
against II score of bandits, whose brav-
cry is mainly due Ia The impunity which
has hitherto attended their exploits.
They who would he free themselves must
keep the front door locked. When the
enemy rings the hell and summons the
garrison. let him be- met with shower
of hot water and played upon with II
carbonic acid tire-extingui,h her. Ii he
proves intractable to mild measure, let
the revolver and rifle complete their
perfect work. II il time that free peo-
pie should rise in their majesty and re-
mark that they will no longer be intimi-
dated by surprise parties. If this great
evil can be successfully resisted IN the
very heart of Chicago, II can surely be
attacked in cities where civilization and
Christianity prevail, and where there
exists at least II vague impression that
violence and crime are to Il certain ex-
tent undesirable.
The following dialogue recently oc-
CURED in one Of our rural justice
courts:
"Do YOU know the prisoner, Mr..