West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1877-11-10
EVERYDAY SPICERIES.


EVERYDAY SPICERIES.
To LOVE in order to be loved in re-
turn, is man, but To love for the pure
sake of loving, is almost the character
istic of an angel
NEVER pronounce man 10 be n will
full niggard until you have seen the con-
tents of his purse. The distribution
should be in accordance with the re-
ceipts.
EAsToN Free Press; The last straw
hat OF summer has retired to inglorious
Incidence in the garret, until IL is re-
quired TO represent an absent pane Of
glass.
a QUESTION FoRBACuELoRs-- Yov1
baby Growing on your knee,
While you sing some ltlc dity
Pulls your hair OF thumbs your eye;
Would YOU think II wasn't prottyf
Tell me, could you7
II you owned the baby h-wouh your
Wife with arms about your neck,
Says you " look just IKE the babyi'
Wants some cash 10 make 4" spec;h
Aud you would refuse hcr-may bct
Could your should your
THE amount of tax paid on men SER
wants in England in 1867 shows that
their number has been reduced by forty
two thousnnd-a proof of hard times.
APRoPos of the recent voyage across
the Atlantic of Captain Grape and wife,
in II whale-boat, n cynic says that the
most wonderful thing about il was that
man and wife should not have fallek
out.
ROCHESTER Democrat; "Make the face
the mirror OF the soul" says DIR. Hol-
land. IL is very unwise advice. III ID
were followed there would be 30 many
dreadful countenances that all the horses
would get frightened and run away.
AN attempt was made in the British
Wesleyan conference last month to abro.
gate the rule which prohibits ministers
OF that denomination from using tobacco
in any form. The majority for main
tanning the rule was, however, very
small.
my dear boy" said mother TO her
son as she handed round his plate for
more turkey, "this is the fourth time
you've been helped" "Iknow, mother"
replied the boy, "but that turkey pecked
at me once, and / want To get square
with him." He got his turkey.
WoRoEsTER (Mass.) Spy: Farewell,
Mary, my dear, you have driven me TO
the grave" wrote Wareham Narrows
man three years ago, and left the note
inside Of his hat on the banks of the
Waukinco. He was arrested the other
day in Boston, living with another
women.
"WHy don't you wheel the barrow
of coal along more lively, Nedp' asked
coal dealer Of his hired man. "It's not
Il very hard job; there is an inclined
plane to relieve YOU" "Ay master"
quoth the man, who had more relish for
wit than work, the plane may be in
clined, but am not"
GUIzoT said about Theirs: He can
foresee from the distance, but when near
Mt hand, nobody is 40 addicted TO in
fatuation or prejudice. He is only a
political guesser." On the other hand,
Thiers said about Guizot: :" He is An
orator, a debater, philosopher; but,
in politics-don't be surprised-he is an
ass"
A LEARNED sergeant was once accused
of having disgraced the bar by taking
silver from client, the etiquette of the
profession requiring that his fee should
he in gold. ~ took silver" he replied,
"because / could not get gold; but
took every farthing the fellow had in the
world. ] hope you do not call that dis
gracing the profession"
ROBERT BURDETTg, the "funny man"
Of the Burlington Hdwk-Eye, thus
drops into poetry" over the grievances
of the season:
Down dropped the pipe, the elbow fell,
The good wife scolded free.
And midst the joints they wrought asPen
That raised old Cain With me.
pounded them IN pried them out
But hear, old man and bTothcrl
Both ends Of every joint Of pipe
Where bigger than the other.
Oh never agaln while life may last
Well be iOund 20 green.
However may howl the wintery blast,
To fool With stove, ween."
WHEN Kemble was rehearmng the
romance sung by Richard, in the play
Of Orchard Ceur de Lion" Shaw,
the leader Of the band, called out from
the orchestra: Mr.. Kemble, my dear
sir, you are numbering time" Kemble,
calmly and coolly takinga pinch Of snuff,
said " My dear sir, il is better for me
10 murder time at once than 10 be con-
stantly beating him as you do"
DURING a debate which took place
some time ago in a Scottish town council
on n question where much diversity OF
opinion prevailed, bailie, among other
reasons in support Of the measure, stated
that it would be Of immense benefit to
postcrity On hearing this, the provost,
who headed the opposition, got up and
said, " I'm really surprised to hear ony
man bring forward sic an argument.
What reason hae we to sacrifice oursels
for the guide O posterity2 Point oot,"
he continued, striking the table, and
looking triumphantly at his opponent
point oot ae single instance whau
posterity has ever been O. the least ben.
eft to US"
- a
vest hanging upon a chair In one Of
the pockets were about a dozen strych-
nine pills. His two little children dis
covered them, thought they we're candy,
and ate them. Physicians we're called
and antidotes administered, but both
died within an hour.