The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1877-08-16
: A nnnmlar eerial-Wheat

= Where may everlasting spring be
found? In an india-rubber factory.
= What kind of robbery is not dan.
gerous? A safe robbery of course.
F. = People learn wisdom from expert.
1 eHce. A man never wakes up his second
baby to see it laugh.
| - Why does the wife of the reformed
drunkard rejoice7 Because her husband
doesn't liquor any more.
i The historical oak under which, ii
is said. Wesley preached kis first sermon
in America, is still standing at Frederick,
Georgia.
"What makes your bread so dlak /?
inquired the lady of the house of the
cook. "If you please, marin, it's because
it waa baked in cloudy weather." was
the reply.
"A medical journal gives the anti.
dotes to number of pOisOns, and adds
| These remedies must be given before
the doctor c6mes." By all means. Give
the patient at least one chance for his
| life.
A young woman from the rural dis.
tricts entered dry goods store the other
day, and asked for II pair of stockings
The clerk politely asked her what Mum
ber she wore. "Why, s.go, you fool. D.
! =
- lie was solemn looking stranger,
and he walked through the depot singing
| "heaven is my home," when one of the
boys called out: "Then you are going
the wrig way, stranger. That is the
train to New York"
"A lot Of street urchins para1ed the
streets of st. Louis onc day last week
with tin pan by wsy of drum, and a
| huge paper banner bearing the inscrip.
ton: "We don't want bread. We want
cake and pie or blood |"
= A judge, joking a young lawyer,
said: 'If you and were turned into d
horse and an ass, which WOULD you pre-
fer to be ?" ''rhe ass, to be sure" re.
piled the lawyer. ave heard OF an ass
being made judge, but horse never
"A Trenchmau, having heard the
word press made use of to signify persua.
/ sion, as Press that gentleman to take
something TO eat" took occasion at a
party to use q torn which he thought
synonymous, and asked friend to
squeeze young lady to sing.
: An aged man said: eff husbands
only had any sense they'd never have
| any trouble with disobedient wives.
never did, an have been married nigh
onto City years." "What Is your se-
cret?" asked q friend. "Why, always
tell my wife to do just rs she pleases, an
she never fails to do it."
| A Christian merchant. who, from
| beginning very poor boy, had risen to
| wealth and renotn, was once asked by
an intimate friend to whas under God he
attributed his SUCCESS in life. ITO
prompt and steady obedience to INV
parents" was the reply. "In the midst
of many bad examples of youths of my
own age, was always able to yield a
ready submission to tba will of my father
' and mother and firnlly believe that a
blessing has, in consequences, rested upon
mo aud all my efforts" F
| - Apropos of che tight fitting dress
! mania. AT some of the leading Paris
stores they dress up young girls in the
newest mode, SO that their customers may
see the effect Of the style and material.
| = i.s!y;', leaking 80 0fio 0ff thiis5v giriI
dressed in robe that fitted exceedingly
uioSo, ASKED i.or whether siio ou,iid walk
about in it. Certainly, madame" was
the reply. "It's easy enough TO prone.
made In it, but l can't so up or down
stairs."
- The season at Saratoga Springs
eeems to be at It's hight for this year,
Tho great hotels are abOut,two.t thirds full,
but the boarding-houses are apparently
moro crowded. OF the three great
houses, the United 6tatss seems to be do
ing the best, with 600 or 700 guests, the
Congress Hall next with perhaps 500
and the Grand Union, OF largest capacity
with perhaps 600. There Is no falling
of in the popularity of Saratoga; on the
contrary, it may welt be said to be on The
gain as summer resort, and 70 be q long
way ahead of All other Americ,.n water.
ing places, but the supply of accommo.
dations grows faster than the increase OF
company, snd may we'll now stop till the
demand catches up.