, 1877-07-29
PIOUS SMILES.

Two oysters in gatlon OF lukewarm fluid at a
church fair are no longer called stews, but aqua
RUINS.
Biblical scholars will be pleased to learn that
the Vanderbilt heirs have unanimously resolved
to stand by the old testament.
A little girl, where minister had been i'll
vited to dinner, Was privately placed On her
good behavior. Finding lull in the converse
tion at the table, she folded her hands aud said,
"O God, please pass the butter"
"I don't believe in fashionable churches, y
said lady recently; :" but, after all, consider
ing that We are all to go to the same Heaven,
perhaps it's better to keep up the social distinc
tons as long as We cau."
The following Is told OF a grave digger in a
cathedral town in the North OF England: One
day, while T. gathering in " the remains Of an
aged parishioner, he observed some women
sharply demanded Of them, "Wbat are ye cry
ing fora If ye dinna bring lem at 50, when wad
ye bring 'cm!"
One OF the candidates for admission to the
Hartford High School, the other day, was
troubled to ind an answer to the question OIL
the blank forms to be filed bv the applicant for
admission Of What was his fathers business:
said the teacher, ''write what be does mostly
for a livlng.n When the papers were collected
1t was found that he had answered the question
by writing "Deacon OF church."
4 white minister in Methodist pulpit in
Charleston, s. c., few years ago, after Il ser
mon preached bT another minister, prayed that
what had been "sown u weakness might be
raised in power" what had been Ii sown III cor
ruption might be raised in interruption" and
so On through several phrases Of Paul's great
argument for the resurrection, and I'LL to the
infinite amusement OF the brother who had
I.f-c
The Rev. Dr.. McCosh, OF Princeton College,
that he and his colorcd brethren might be pre-
served from their "upsettin' sins" sBrud-
der,' said one Of his friends at the close OF the
meeting, "you amt got de hang OBJ dat ar
word. It's besettin', not upsettin'." "Brud
n9a9 ol so
toxication, an Ct dat amt upsettin' sin
dunno what AMI The darky Was right that
time.
It was in Boston. 4 low, musical sound came
up from the closet under the stairs, and the
mother listened. 1t was her little sou softly
singing to himself: II need Thee every hour"
that sermon on tCloset Devotions.' at the
Tabernacle last evening"" said she, Then she
could not forbear stepping quietly to the
closet-door to catch glance at the ''dear
child,'. the "precious lamb''-" bless his
him devoutly engaged in humming that revival
hymn, and also-running his finger around in
tile preserve-jar! And there the devotions
broke up-broke up amid groans OF repentance
for sin found out.
Of 4sJack RUSSELL" we'll known in the West
Of England as the tsporting parson," the fol-
lown ehaIastesstic aneeotG 81 is tSa; when
holding visitation In North Devon, he asked
Jack Russell If he could have talk with him,
md the answer was, Certainly, my Lord
Thcreupon the Bishop referred to his friends
hunting is in itself very innocent. B4t you are
a master OF hounds, and no doubt when you are
put out you may be tempted to use strong Ian
guage, That would not be becoming q man in
your position, and your ninistratious would not
carry the same weight as they ought to do II
SELF replied Jack for my parishioners ride
such bad cattle that I am always couple OF
fields ahead Of them, and they never hear what
I say"
A Reading Pa.) paper In vivid account Of
negro camp-1neeting in the vicinity says.
The Bishop, thoroughly warmed up to his sub
ject gave graphic description Of the Garden Of
Eden, and subsequently compared the devil with =
toad. ''See de toad sittin' in De Garden OBJ Eden
Dag he sets. Along comes Michael wild biz
sword. He unshcathcs dat sword, and hauling OF
wid one tremendous effort he Is just about letting
fall dat awfnl knife, when good angel saTH,.
No, don't do dat De life Of the devil is spared
md dc entire creation Is saved. o de women was
not satisfied 10 cat dat fruir alone: Dare il WAS.
She must do something worse What does she do:
She g,yes 1t to dc men. And de men dat fruit,
ind dare is de foundation for all sin. And God !
,ot mad And what u terrible thing it is for Him J
70 get His back up. We see it ebety day! Look |
It film in de clouds when de storm comes md |
,hakes down de hickory nuts, twists of dc trees,
ears DC houses ana shakes down o Dc barn. q,
iamned. You'll ali be like de Silver fox dat went
Trough dc tire and had his t.il singcd Look out
le time is short only had intended TO make
ew remarks, but de trace oh God got right into
lust do tt It's boiling right up through dc top OF
ny head. and I'm gwine to tell ,you OBJ Jesus:
)ou't yon forget Him! II you do. lie may forget
lorse that ever was hanled out to de bone yard.