The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1877-05-10
Observations of Men and Things.
BY OUR GEORGE.

BY OUR GEORGE.
There is nothing that accumulates faster than
unanswered letters, unless it is warts Oh boys
hand. l have got enough letters in my drawer
now to make new alphabet, and this week l
propose to dispose of some of them if | can. They
are letters asking for information on different sub
ects 1t is awful thought that forces itself upon
me, that am looked at sort of book of gen
eral information, an unabridged electromagnetic
at any minute | may find some one digging into
me after some fact, as swallows dig into the sand
bank. | have spared no expense in preparing my
self for this occasion | am surrounded by cork
screws gmblets, pick-aXes, plasters and draughts,
and if there is any information in me, am bound
to have it out The first letter find is from one
who signs himself Young Probability" and hesays
that he is much interested in the weather statistics
and wants to know lis there any reliable account
of 4 storm previous to the hoodF
| very near tumbling over the question
and saying No, but just saved myself in season.
You remember Cain and Abel, don't you9 Well,
when they had that little difficulty in which Abel
got killed | think there must havo been quite
storm; at any rate, after killing Abel, his brother
left rather suddenly, and that undoubtedly was the
first Hurry-Cain on record.
A Farmer writes, IL have an excellent COW, but
she is breachy and cannot keep her in the pasture.
What can do with herr"
You might run her full Of lead. She is undoubt
eddy too light. think that six seven hundred
pounds of lead run into her, would keep her down.
Or YOU might saw off both her fore legs at tho
knees, and think you would always find her in
the pasture. Or why don't you bore two inch
augur hole through tree, and stick hor tail
through it. and tie hard knot in the end OF it! If
you have confidence i'll her tail, think you can
hold her There are lots of ways, but any of these
will answer your purpose.
VIII Our George please tell me who wrote, 80
for lodge in some vast wilderness" HENRY.
Certainly, Henry, will, 1t Billy Cowpor
and it has done more harm 10 mankind than any
thing that was ever written 1t was the origin Of
the credit system and was moreover very foolish
and shows that Cowper never belonged to lodge
What is the good OF Il lodge i'll Il vast wilderness
Who would go! Any one who knows enough to
blow out lamp, knows that lodge needs to be
in Il thickly settled community, and then its Il
hard thing to get out enough members to form a
quorum, unless there is to be picnic supper, and
then all the good feeders will be on hand Then
the principle of the thing is bad. owe for lodge
i'll some vast wilderness" Don't you do it. Go
out west and YOU will thousands of young
men who owe for their lodge, and always will
Pay cash for your lodge Henry, and don't owe q
cent for it. Mr. Cowpcr had the good sense to die,
and the probability is that he mad money to let
and held mortgages on every lodge i'll his vicinity
Don't Won let Mr. Cowper fool You, Henry, with
any OF his nonsense.
I'm in au awful scrape, | called on lady
friend, and accidentally knocked a little ornament
from the mantle and broke it. cannot replace
it, and dare not offer To pay for it. What should
go4 do! ". c. T."
1t will not take me Il minute to apsw this !
should swear like blaZes
what do you think of this blue glass excite
mcnt DO YOU believe there il anything in it
ENQUIRER.
| do. think there is lots of money i'll it. The
manufacturers tell me So and the retailers corrob
crate what the manufacturers say | put Il light
of it over a hens nest, and the hen laid double
yolked egg the next day friend tells me that
he took a common horse chestnut and subjected
it to blue glass, and what do you suppose was the
result Why. in less than week he had chest
nut horse! He then tried it on a wheel barrow,
and in len days had an open buggy! A noted thief
in Boston had eluded the detectives for months,
till at last one disguised himself i'll pair Of blue
| glass spocaclcs and before night the thief was in
| Jail
| DEAR SIR: lost nv wife about Il year ago
[ have three small children who need mothers
care. Ought to marry again soon
"WDowEE.'
Hold on, man, You don't say where you lost
| your wife. Was there a hole in your pocket, or
did you lose her out of the lining Of your hat
You ought to be more careful. Why didn't you
have her marked as you do your enyelopes-"It
not found in ten days return to Mr.. So-and !!
! Then you would not have lost her. You have not
| got any kind Of pluck She may find her way back
| again Don't you know where you lost her Was
| it at II circus III dry goods store Charlie
Ross has been lost four or five years, but his par
ents don't give him up yet. Ought You to marry
again soon! Certainly not. Don't YOU see,
man. that you might be committing bigamy
| Hold on seven years and we'll try and hunt her
up. Send me Il description Of her and enclose a
| photograph, if YOU have one and I'll guarantee
that Ill send her TO YOU a postal card i'll less
than thirty days
| r. s. Great Peter 1t has just occurred to me
| that you mean your wife is dead! Why don't you
write i'll English so a person can understand you
Get married! Certainly. Slip fifty cent scrip
into your vest to pay the minister, and let me see
your marriage i'll the Journal next week.
| Our GEORGE: Win You please tell me if you
| believe that person in drinking from brook can
swallow any live thing that will live and grow in
| the stomach | have queer sensation at my
stomach and | fear that | swallowed a lizard, OF
frog or something, in drinking from a brook when
| out troutn5. CHARLES g.
Believe it! | know it We're You at the Cen
tennal last year! If So did you not see that man
i'll the Main building who was just in your fix
| He was the greatest curiosity there, think. 1t
was wonderful His name was-lct me see-twas
All old name with a French -Sm-Smith
yes, that was it-Smith. Well, it seems that
Smith WAS out fishing, and had been eating salt
fish and was very dry, and kept drinking from the
| stream every now and then. After time lie be
gan feel queer sensation al his stomach, and was
obliged to drink great deal of water and had All
enormous appetite. After consulting some enli
nent physician. il discovered that no had
something alive i'll him. The doctor, who was All
| expert fisherman with the fly rod, tried him with
a brown hackle and pulled out nice trout, weigh
| ing about quarter of pound He also 'tlseov-
cred that he was full Of different kinds Of fish and
things Smith got Il law through the Legislature
forbidding people from fishing on his premises, ex
| ccpt at certain seasons A.; and when | saw him III
| Philadelphia he was just coming money hand oven
fist. He asked twenty five cents for the privilege
Of fishing from him, he having whatever was
caught He supplied Lnubcrs restaurant with
| frogs and trout all through the season. Don't you
Worry, Charles. If you full of trout and are
smart, you get rich. What you consider Il
disaster may prove benefit to You,