The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1877-08-07
MR.. WEBB'S EXCURSION.

If yon naG looked into the corridor at
the Central Station yesterday after
noon, you would have seen IA long, SHINY
nose sticking through the barred door OF
cell No. 4, and yUu misAt have heard q
lOueG9Ine yo ce crying oul:
"Puttlu' iut in here Won't make a bit
OF d tfere0ce! Pli rip and tear all the
harder when git Outl'
His name is " ebD. lie is the oldest
son OF an Old farmer in Greenfield Town.
snip. He was in town The other day
with produce, and Just as be was ready
to IedVe the market IL boy approached
Inn and askeu him If he didn't want to
buy church excursion ticket for half
vrlce. ~ was TO be u beautiful excur-
sion, the boy said, with ice-cream and
lemonade, and handsome girls and bash
iul wluUWS all over the boat, ana there
would be solt music by the band, sweet
singing Dy the choir, and shadowy au-
gels would be noyering near 10 pick up
lne avail good cniluren who tumbled
overheard.
Pm right there, bub," replied the
oldest SUN, as he went down into his
vest Tor quarter; and he further said
Lnat he'I Deen for years hankering 10 90
on boss excursion up the river.
The ticket read that the boat would
leave her dock at sharp 8 o'clock A. NJ.
of IUur9day. The eldest son was o.
time. He went to the foot Of Woodward
avenue and kept his eye looking for the
steamer Northwest. lie didu't see any
cnul ch deacOns around. No crowds OF
Ahite-ruDed chiiuIen surrounded him,
Az ten u'alock The oldest son pulled out
nIs card, walked up 10 a knot Of men
anu re remarked:
''Has lhis excursion goneW
That excursion" replied one of the
men ae he read TIE ticket, took place
lnree weeks ago this morning"
"And I'm leItW
"Yes, sir-yOu are just twenty days
and some cdd hours too late"
II paid TWO shl.lIngs for this ticket"
grlmly observed the oldest son, SIT
CALI lor an excursion. Pve got bread
and butter anu lam and currants, and a
pint bottle tull OF tea IN this basket, and
I'm gong On the excursion or know The
reason wny."
"ruere are several reasons why"
laughed the crowd.
"GenLlemen, trot out your steam.
boatw said Mr. Webb.
Tuey Laughed again.
"deut.emen, l give you just two min.
u,es to pull your old steamer around
uerep
Mure laughing
"Gentlemen, Pm no Dlowhard. wan,
IL rgnts, and Pm going TO nave 'em.
ain goIug TO plank down two shil,ings
i'll cas-, SIT up nalf night to grease my
ooCLs, sew on buttons and oil up nv
air, ride twelve miles in an old wagor
aud find The boat gone, and not let folkf
gnow LOW | Ieel about it. Bring On your
Doatp
I'VE dol't own no boat" they an
swered.
"Can't help i'll hold you responsible
Puff your old boat around here, or PI
climb the whole town"
He put down his bundle and went in
the odds being eleven TO one. He hadn'
spit on his hands over three times be-
fore he was all twisted out of shape, AM
good share of his body jammed init
an old cheese-box. A policeman price
hin out, united Lhe knots lu his legs
smoothed out the kinks in, his spina
column, and led him away to the sta
JlOD.
Don't that call for an excursion? p
demanded Mr. Webb, as he slammed hi
ticket down before the captain. IL
does,if Know how 20 reau; and nov
where is the CXcursionY'
"Gohe," was Inc brief answer.
"Well, | neln't gone. Pm right here
Pm waiting lor that boat, anu If sh,
doesn't come Pll wade up and down tni
town like Il lestive cyclonel Pll Civ
you just TWO minutes to pu me abOar(
Of the excursiOn."-I Free Press.