The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-11-03
MARK TWAIN's LATEST.
How an Irreverent Old Salt Interpreted 'he
story of Elijah and the Pr"ph-
cts of Baal.
Samuel /. clcmcn, in the Atlantic for November

One trip the captain hau IA Curry hiVn ""
board, but did not know he was clergyman
since the passenger list did not be'ray me i"c'
He took great liking to this Rev. Mr.. Peters
and talked with him Il great deal; told INN
warns, and rave him toohsomc scraps OF per,
sonal history and wove glitering streak OF
profanity through his garruouS fabric lhal
was refreshing to a spirit weary OF me duii
neutralitcs of undccoraled speech. one aay
he captain said
Peters, do you ever read the Bible
Well-yes"
Il Judge it amt often, by the way you ~!
it. Now, YOU tackle it in dead earnest once
and you'll find it'll pay. Don't you get dis
couraged, but hang right on. First, you won'
understand it; but by and by things Will begin
to clear up, and then you wouldn't lay 1t "oWh
to eat"
Yes have heard that said
"And its So too There amt book that
begins with it. 1t lays over EN- all, Peters
There's some pretty tough things in lt-tnere
aint any getting around that-but you SUCK 10
them and think them out, and when once you
get on the inside evcrythings PLAN as Gay
"Thc miracles, too, captain
Yes, sir! The miracles, too. Every one OF
them Now, there's that business with the
prophets of Baal; like enough that stumpcd
you"
well, | don't know but
Gown up, now; it stumpcd you. well, i
don't wonder. You hadn't had any experience
in raveling such things ont, and naturally II
was too many for you. Would You ike to-
1 have me explain that thing to you, ana snow
you how to ret at the meat of these matters:
Indeed | would, captain if you don't
mind"
Then the captain proceeded as follows
"Ill do it with pleasure. First, you see
read and read. and thought and thought, TILL
got to understand what sort Of people they
were in the old Bible times, and then after that
it was all clear and easy. Now, this was the
way | put it up, concerning lsaac% ana the
prophets of Baa There was some mighty
sharp men amongst the public characters OF
that old ancient day, and Isaac was one OF
them Isaac had his talings-plenty of them,
too; it aint for me to apologize for Isaac; he
played it on the prophets Of Baal and like
enough he was .ustiablc, considering the
odds that was against him No, all | say Is,
'twa'n't any miracle, and that I'll show you
so : I you can see il yourself.
We'll. times had been getting irOughcr and
rougher for prophcts-that is, prophets OF
Isaac's denomination. There was 400 proph-
cts Of Baal in the community, and only one
| Presbyterian; that is, if Isaac was Il Prcsbyte-
rian, which reckon he was, but it don't say.
! Naturally, the prophets of Baal took all the
|
| but he was a good deal Of il man. and no doubt
he went a-propheSying around, letting on to be
doing Il land-oilice business, but t want any
use; he couldn't run any opposition to amount
! to ANYTHING. BY and by things rot desperate
| with him; he sets his head to work and thinks
| it all out, and then what does he do? Why
| he begins To throw out hints that the other
parties are this and that and tother-nothing
very definite, may be- but just kind of under
mining their reputation in quiet way This
made talk, of course, and finally got to the
King The King asked Isaac what he meant
! by hi, talk Says Isaac oh, nothing particu
| lar; only can they pray down fire from heaven
on an altar? 1t aint much, maybe Your
Majesty, only can they doit That's the idea
So the King was good deal disturbed and he
went to the prophets Of Baal, and they said,
pretty airy that if he had an altar ready, they
were ready; and they intimatCd he better get
it insured, too.
$50 next morning all the children of Israel
and their parents and the other people, gath
cred themselves together. Well, here was that
great crowd of prophets Of Baal packed to-
gchcr on one side, and Isaac walking up and
down all alone on the other putting up his
lob When time was called Isaac let on to be
comfortable and Indifferent: told the other
team 10 take the first innings. SO they went
at it, the whole 40, praying around the altar,
very hopeful and doing their level best They
prayed an hOur-twO hOurs-thrce hOurs-and
so on, plumb till noon. 1t want any use;
they hadn't took a trick. OF course they felt
: kind of ashamed before all those people and
well they might Now, what would II mag
p unanimous man do? Keep still. wouldn't he !?
Of course. What did Isaac doy He gravclled
the prophets of Baal every way he could think
Of Says he. you don't speak loud enough !;
: your gods asleep, like enough, or may he he's
taking walk; you want to hoilcr, you know
or words to that effect; | don't reCollcct the
exact language Mind don't apologize for
, Isaac he had his faults.
We'll, the prophets of Baal prayed along
the best they knew how all the afternoon, and
never raised a svark. At last, about shutdown,
they were all tuckercd out, and they owned up
and quit.
b What does Isaac do now He steps up
and says to some friends Of his there, Pour
} four barrels of water on the ALTAR Everybody
l was astonished; for the other side had prayed
{ at il dry. YOU know, and got whitewashed.
They poured it on. Says he, ilcavc on four
: moya barrels Then he says, IIcavc on four
more Twelve barrels, YOU see altogether.
: The water ran all over the altar, and all down
the sides, and filled up Il trench around it that
{ would hold Il couplc of hogSheads-'measureS >
il saws: | reckon il means about u hogshead.
Some of the people were going 10 put on their
e things and 70 for they allowed he was crazy.
They didn't know Isaac. Isaac knclt down
? and began to pray; he strung along, and strung
along, about the heather in distant lands, and
G about the sister churches, and about the state
II and the country at large, and about those that,
in authority in the Government, and all the
K usual programme you know, till everybody
c had got tired and gone to thinkingabuut some
+: thing else, and then, all OF a sudden, when no
u body was noticing he outs with Il match and
; rakcs it on the under side Of his leg, and pii
II mn the whole thing blaze like house atrc
e Twelve barrels of water. Petroleum. >ir. pc
2 trolcum. that's what il Vas
Il Petroleum, captain
c Yes. sir: the country was full OF L. l>aa,
: knew all about that You read the Bible
l. Don't YOU Worry about the tough places, They
faint tough when YOU come 10 think them out
and throw light on them. There aint thing