The Beaufort tribune and Port Royal commercial. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1877-1879, 1877-03-15
Items Of Interest.

lteinS vi Interest,"
. An Irishman returned from his travels
CALAMITY compared his landlady to
VeSlvius, because she was fine old
crater.
Soliloquy of drunken man: "How
can leave thee" as he hugged lamp
post. A policeman solved the conundrum
at once.
A dealer advertises GA large stock of
bankrupt pianos and organs" Now, who
would wish to purchase musical instru-
ments whose notes were not good. s.
"Did she leave anything? was asked
of one of Gods poor who had just died.
"No," was the answer, "she took every
thing with her," Happy they who can.
Centennial Bees" are the latest.
They are made up of those who visited
the Centennial, and who get together to
talk and gossip over what they saw
there.
The great English gun is pronounced
cracked, the reason being that it was not
thoroughly bored. If it had been placed
in an American newspaper. office the re-
suit must been very different.
Bald headed gentleman in the par
quet, to young lady in the dress circle,
during an affecting passage in the play:
81 respect your emotion, madam, but
you are shedding tears on my head. .
The papers relate an anecdote of a
beautiful young lady, who had become
blind, having recovered hef sight after
marriage. It is no uncommon thing for
peoples eyes to be opened by matrimony.
A cheerful temperament is q good
thing out in the grasshopper district A.
man writes to the Sibley New Gazette:
AS we sit by our bright hay fire and
think of men back in the timbered
country who are obliged to haul wood
in the cold weather we're glad we escaped,
such dogs life. - 1uJst &r' 4
There are $232, 900, 900 more Of gold
than silver in existence. The amount OF
precious metal in existence. is $13, 740,-
600, 900. The increase of the amount OF
the precious metals in existence hasbeen
greater within. the last twenty-eight
years than during the previous one hun l
dred and forty.
A swell Fifth avenue (New York;
tailor will charge from $40 to $50 for
winter overcoat, and from $50 to Sl00
for a suit of clothes. Nine dollars for a
hat is asked now, the same as was paid
four years ago. A pair of shoes made to
order viii cost from $12 to $16. In a
word, the old prices substantially pre-
vail. ..r.y...,,.
Lady Ito shopman, after making him
turn over all the stock There, that's
exactly the quality I want, but it is
green, and I wanted plum color" In
sinuating shopman-" You can't dc: bet
ter than take this. Beside, ma'am, it is
plum color" Lady-"What? Plum
color % Shopman-"Certainly. Only
the plums are not ripe" .-.e 90,
A superannuated coquette, who was
suspected of giving rein to her loquacity
for the purpose of displaying a very fine
set of teeth, once asked taGturn old
lady what, in her estimation, consttuted
good conversationalist, and the Old
lady snappishly answered that, in her
opinion, good conversationalist was q
person who could talk without betrayng
her dentist. &ys a., ~ sir0o
The ewes of San Joaquin valley, Cal,
are refusing to suczle their lambs, large
numbers of which, the Sacramento Bee
says, are dying. Herders and farmers
think this portends severe drouth, and
that the beasts have an. instructive
knowledge that there is tobe short crop
of food. and thus save themselves the
trouble of fruitlessly rearing their young
only to die Of starvation. - - =
"How much will you give me for this
horsee" said the jockey, riding the ami
NAL up in front of the country tavern TO
be inspected by the crowd. /" How Euch
will YOU take ?" asked one of the bystand-
ers. "One hundred and twenty-five
dollars" said the owner. 81 will give
you twenty-five dollars, said the bidder.
"Take him." said the, jockey, as he
Jumped to the ground, 81 never let q
hundred dollars spoil hoss trade. y" =
The story of Salvini's marriage is very
interesting. She was poor sewing glri,
working in London for her daily bread,
when Salvini found her, having been
commissioned by lady in Florence to
deliver her package. He straightway
fell in love with her, and soon married
her, and now, in the magnificent house
to which he has transferred her, he treats
her with the distinction accorded to a
princess, with the tenderness OF aTor-
shipping husband. .s,7,3