Smyrna times., 1877-09-19
Ingenuity of a Peddler.

instantaneous Freckle Eliminator q he
asked, producing a bottle from the little
black box with leather handles which he
had with him.
=" Don't want any
It's splendid article, madanl-war.
ranted or money cheerfully refunded.
Better try it,"
don't want any, | saw"
If you don't think it will work. I can
give you the most convincing proofs that
you are mistaken
Go long haven't any use for it,"
see you haven't got 'om bad"
Got EN- bad Sir, what do you
" was saying you ain't bad yet. But
don neglect EN- if you don't want to be as
sreckled as a duck egg"
Me me freckled? Get out with YOU.
you impudent man.
II them ain freckles on your nose, /
never saw any,"
Take yourself off instantly. Go. | saw.
or III call the police"
Better try the Magical instantaneous
Eliminator before it's too late"
Ugh you nasty -
=" Here's some of my World Renowned
Plmple Subjugator. It'll take the pinlples
OIL that boy there so you wouldn't know
him in two days"
Police police!"
It's too bad, though, that nothing will
cure his cross-eyes and turn-up nose.T
| gh you brute, | could but She
never said what she could, but slammed
the door shut with a crash, and throw her.
self on the bed and cried with yexation
until dinner time
How crusty and disagreeable some
women are, muttcred the gentle Elimina.
tor man, as lie passed through the front
gate.
At the next house the patient sufferer
SAID to the lady who came to the door
Madam, ! am selling the deservedy pop
ular and ever successful Patent Hair
Crlmping Fluid"
No, don't want any,"
am also selling the famous Magical
instantaneous Freckle Eliminator. but |
saw at once by your very fine complexion
that you are not in need of any such arti
Gle Let me sell you bottle of the Hair
Crimpng Fluid"
Well, don't know.
" can't help smiling to think that the
lady next door to you, to whom tried to
sell bottle OF the Eliminator, denied up
and down that she's freckled.''
" Denied that she's freckled?"
" Indeed she did
Why, she's the freckIedest object
ever saw, and she knows it."
couldn't help thinking so myself"
She's vain, stuck-up thing anyway"
dare say she is. I'm pretty sure |
can tell when | meet a real lady"
HOW much did you say this is ?"
One dollar and a-half bottle madam "
Well, guess I'll try a bottle"
| hadn't failed to catch the first
woman on the Eliminator, | wouldn't have
caught the other on the Crimping Fluid. |
ana, bless their souls, they're both the |
same thing, muttered the meek and low |
spirited peddler. as he passed on
PROPOSED SCHEME OF MUNICIPAL REFoRN |
IN PHILADELPHIA.-IIow to govern LARGE |
cities wisely and well is problem thai
would tax the best intellocts to work ont |
In these DAYS and under our
republican system, if the affairs of n citv
are administered with a fair share Of |
ability and economy the citizens of it have
reason to feel thankful. In New York
several attempts have been made bv the
state Legislature to provide for tho better
management OF New York city, but in each
instance with very little success and in one
with such signal failure as to open the wav
to the perpetration of the most astounding
frauds. In Pennsylvania commission,
which was authorized by the Legislature
ABOUT year ago TO draw up plan for the
reform OF municipal government in that
state, has just made its report to the
Governor The primary object in appoint
ing the commission was to endeavor 10
provide remedy for the abuses that it is
alleged have crept into the various munich
pal departments of Philadelphia. and to
take them in future out of the control of
politicians. If the plan proposed by the
commission should be adopted bv the
legislature it will amount to a revolution.
1t aoollshes the existing city departments
ana places the work of administration
lnder the sole control of board of public
safety, consisting of the mayor of the CITY
ma TOUR treeholders, to be selected bv him.
l ne latter are to be persons of repute in
ne community for their business sagacitv.
Intelligence and probity, and the directory
20 constituted is to manage the affairs of
ne clty, arranging regulations for the ,
conduct OF subordinate bureaus of police. 6
ire, buildings, taxation, water supplv.
lhanclal collections and disbursements. &c.
esponslble to the public through regular
eports TO tho suggested board of chosen :
reeholders, which is to serve in lieu of |
my councils" There is something very
norough about this plan, but it is doubtful :
whether 1T would work well in practice. !
I would practically place all power in the !,
lands of the mayor.
BEAUTIES OF THE TELEPHoNE.--Theyh have r
LCllnhnnn % Al1 |