davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1877-10-11
Ten Rules-Never ~ be Observed at
Church..

/. Never open your pew door to stran-
ger wanting seat. He may have designs
on your purse.
2. If the sexton brings stranger to your
door, look daggers at him, and make him
Just as uncomfortable as you can.
8. Take out your watch several times dur
ing the sermon, and if it has hunting case,
shut it with a sharp snap. 1t may hurry the
preacher.
4. When you return your hymn book to the
rack, let it 60 down with bang; it enlivens
the service.
S. Wear the most stylish dress you have.
It shows you don't care for the proprieties.
6. Rush to the door on the instant OF the
last amen. You are glad it's over.
Z. Stop in the aisle to salute all your friends,
and turn about, if possible, in the crowd. 1t
makes you conspicuous.
8. Tread on as many of the dresses OF the
ladies as you can and make them look
around.
9. In the door stand still and have chat,
so as to hinder all behind you from getting
out.
10. Then light your cigar and 60.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1877-10-11
Love i'm q Graveyard.

From Saratoga letter: Right near the
grave of Chancellor Walworth sat two Of the
lovingest lovers in Saratoga-young, sentl-
mental, and gushing. They have been en-
gagged the last two weeks. Passing behind
the monument with Mr.. Palmerston, the
venerable old sexton, heard the following
conversation from these melting lovers, al
most too full for utterance. l give it liter
ally:
''Angel, pet? ?"
"What, Charley?"
"What awful poetry on the grave-stones,
lovey!"
''What, sweetie?"
II said, what dreadful verses on the grave
stones, darling"
''Oh, did you-my own ?"
eyes, duckey, listen"
'Rere lies the wife of Robert REGULAR,
She walked the ways of God perpendicular"
"Oh, N.Y."
Then came long pause He was holding
her hand in one of his, while the other whip
ped his pantaloons leg with cane. Then
the pause was interrupted by:
''Oh, sweetie!"
"What, Charley?"
''Such queer grave-ssOnes!
s'Such queer what, darling?"
II said what strange poetry on the grave
stones"
"Oh, did you pet!
eyes, angel, look at that one:
40 years maiden,
wear wife,
months q mother.
And that took her life"
ooh, Charley!"
That is just what the loving lovers salo'
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1877-10-11
A Haunted Hotel.
From the Newark Advertiser

From the Newark Advertiser.]
The Suiciders' Hotel, in the Latin Quarter,
Paris. has been torn down. Ten years ago a
student, despairing and in love, blew out his
brains in the room which he was occupying,
and Just one year afterward another student
committed suicide in the same room, after
losing his money in gambling house. The
proprietor of the hotel was alarmed at the
fate of these unhappy students, and the room
was transformed into a lumber-closet. few
months afterwards waiter, who had been
accused of theft, crept into this lumber-room
and hanged himself. The surperstitious
hotel-keeper was now in despair. He sur
rendered the lease and abandoned the cham
Der of death. The hotel was repeatedly sold
but its reputation was uncanny, and nobody
could thrive there. A strong minded drug
gist took possession of the premises and car
ried on his business there, but finding his wife
had deceived him, retired to the fatal cham
Der and there poisoned himself with his own
drugs. The whole quarter was up IN arms
and demanded that the room should be
walled up, but the new owner laughed at the
fears of Ills neighbors and declared that he
meant to occupy the chamber himself. AT
last notice was given that the place was about
to be pulled down to make room for the Bou-
levard Saint German. An indemnity OF sou,
600 was demanded, but refused, and the jury
having decided that $17, 500 was ample COM
pensation the owner grew despondent, ana
declared he was ruined man. month ago
he asked permission to visit the old premises
before they were pulled down. His request
was granted, and nothing more was heard OF
him until the workmen found him hanging
bv the neck in the fatal room.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1877-10-11
AStOry OF VIM. Evarts.

At meeting of old settlers in Lawrence,
Kansas, few days ago, Mr.. Eli Thayer, is
giving some "reminiscences of the settlement
Of the State, said: II held meeting in New
York city, and urged with all the power !!
could the needs of Kansas. At the close OF
the address young man arose and said that
he was anxious to do something toward the
abolition of slavery. He thought my scheme
a practical one, and would give one thou
sand dollars. Through his influence l sue
ceeded in raising thirty thousand dollars in
three weeks. His name is one that no eu-
lorv of mine can brighten and no ones
calumny can sully. 1t was William N.
Evarts."
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1877-10-11
How to tell = Gentleman.

You should never judge by appearances.
The other day little wiZzen-faced man,
wearing $3.50 suit of clothes, went to one
of the big hotels and registered himself from
Texas, asked for room and it breakfast
was on the table.
The Olympian clerk gazed at him scorn-
fully for moment and languidly remarked:
''Any baggage?"
''No," replied the guest.
s'In that case," said the clerk. 1.-THE rules
of the house compel me to insist on paying
in advance" :.
s'Very well," said the guest, without hesi.
tation or appearing offended, take two days
board out of this, and from wad of green
backs as big as his arm he produced q $lOO
note.
Il beg your pardon" stammered the abash-
ed clerk, ''but we are so often taken IN and
your face not being familiar to me, ~
''No offence" cheerily answered the guest,
s'business is business and rules are rules. Ii
does look little odd to be travelling without
baggage, but us cattle dealers amt much on
style and"
.'That's all right, colonel" said the clerk.
"Put up your money; we know gentleman
when we see him. Jim, show this gentleman
to 146. Call for the best in the house, gen.
eral,"
The old man slowed away an ample break
fast, got the clerk to give him small bills for
q fifty, and asked where Billy Coolbaugh,
the banker, had his office, inquired when
thev had dinner, desired the clerk to tell Mr..
Farwell, if he called, that he would be back
at 2 o'clock, then went and has not been seen
since. The clerk subsequently discovered
the $50 bill to be counterfeit. The sad event
had cast gloom over the hotel Office.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1877-10-11

When Moody and Sankey went to England
thew took with them a young colored man
named Newsby. He studied for the minis
try of the Church of England, passed the
examination before the bishops, and so good
was the report of the examiners that the
bishop of London said, 81 would to God all
our ciergymen were like this young man. ;"
He was sent to Africa as assistant to Bishop
Crowther. and all the English papers predict
gran 1 life for the Rev. James Newsby. "
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1877-10-11
BE q Farmer.

The venerable George Dent, of Georgia,
writes: ''The sober, second thought caused
me to choose the farm as my occupation. to
which have devoted long life; and it l
were to be asked this day by any young man
to recommend to him the pursuit he should
follow, would honestly tell him to choose
that of farmer True, we have our trials,
troubles, and disappointments, as others have,
but from the very nature of our occupation
we can do more to guard against them and
overcome them
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1877-10-11
Helena, Montana, Thursday, October II, 1877
Wanted to s'Salnple It,"

A bIeared-eyed, red-nosed desciple Of Al.
achol, with breath like a glue factory, and
a general air of seediness, dropped into
Clark's store yesterday, and with a curt.
business like way, asked the price OF flower
per barrel. Mac. took look at the fellow,
and ciphered him down as tramp who
would probably invest Is cents in cheese and
crackers, but answered him very civilly that
it was ruling at $16.
"Well, get out your order book; want to
buy bill of goods, responded Rummy
''About 500 pounds of 5readstuffs will be near
the mark"
Mac. sharpened his pencil and put il down,
wondering meanwhile who this blOated mil
lionaire in disguise could be-. The fellow
ran through list of articles, mentioning
bacon, tea, coffee, ham, ETC., until the page
figured up 5000. Then he got down to his
work, and wanted to know if the institution
kept on hand really good article of whisky.
Mac, instead of leading the way to the bar
rel, and asking the customer to sample It.,
merely mentioned over half dozen favorite
brands, the mere allusion to which made
Rummys mouth water. He anticipated an
invitation to the rear of the store, but his
measure had been taken, and all further ef-
forts in that direction were futile.
"HOW about the naVOr! {! ne lnqulIeu. l
am little perticular about my regular bever-
age"
Mac. assured him it was up.
''Smooth ?" was the next question.
"Oil amt circumstance"
"High proof?"
$50 it has proved to be"
"Got five gallon demijohn p
''Store full Of EN-" :,
''Can see sample of that ere liquor :.
Q'.Yes sir. When you have paid tor THIS
bill of goods that you have ordered l will
throw in the whisky
The fellow looked at Mac. sadly, scratched
his head and said he rather thought he could
do better down at Sadler's. Mac. is little
angry over the spelling of the page in his
book, and there are two black ma clear
across that order.
Rummy ioined another rounder over on the
corner. and said in tremendous tones, ''She
wouldn't work, Jimmy. That clerk over
| there is as hardhearted as Cardiff giant.
Blast the luck! m as dry as lime burner
wig. Let's 20 over and spar Hank Knight ;
voted for him, and think that will fetch
him." ."-Eureka Sentinel.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1877-10-11
U1Qer Bonds.
rSalt Lake Tribune, 26.1

[Salt Lake Tribune, 26.1 -
Jeter Clinton and Bishop Robert T. Bur-
ton were arraigned in the District Court
yesterday morning, under Indictment tor
murder, and both entered plea OF not guilty.
Jeter's bonds were fixed at $lO,OOO, which
were furnished at once. Elders Joseph
Kingsburry and Isaac Brockbank going MS
security. Bishop Burton's bonds were nxed
at sis. 600. and Messrs. L. s. Hill and N.
Groesbeck became his sureties.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1877-10-11
Successful Ru8e.

Some sheep having been stolen from q
farmer named Smith, living in the neighbor,,
hood of village, while the thief remained
undiscovered, local preacher having col
lection to make, thought he would turn the
event to good account, SO he said: I'VE
have collection to make this morning, and
for the glory of heaven. whichever OF you
stole Mr. Smiths sheep, don't Ra put anytn;ang ya;aog
in the collection.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1877-10-11
A NEW BRIDGE OF S1GHS,

One more polygamOus,
Short in the breath,
Frightfully bigamous,
Gone to his death.
Turn not away from him,
ScOrning to touch;
Go nearer-pray for him
Married SO much.
Think of his fathers-in-law,
Two hundred brothers-in1aw,
Three hundred sisters-in-law,
Fifty-odd mothers-in-law,
All in one family,
Stuck polygamily;
Think of their daily life,
Full of domestic strife,
Cat-fghts and equealings;
Think Of the tears and cries,
Then try to Ann klize
Some of their feelings.
Turn not away from him.
Scoring to touch;
Go nearer-pray tor him
Married SO much.
Oh! this is pitiful!
Sad house. with widows full,
Buxom and fair!
Bachelors, think of It!
Go near the brink of 1t
Now if you dare!
Still with his bigamy,
Nick-named pOlygamy,
Leave him at rest;
Cross his hands humbly,
As praying dumb)y,
Over his breast;
Owning his weakness,
The poor erring creature,
And leaving with meekness
His mantle to ---,
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1877-10-11
This vacancy has not yet teen filed.
A Fair and Square Denial From Stanley
Matthew's

Matthew'S
General Ewing, in his Dayton speech,
SPOKE OF Stanley Matthews being party to
the bargain with the South to secure the pres
idency to the Republicans. Senator Mat
thews. in answering the charge. said:
Il intend to make my denial to cover the
accusation in every form, written. verbal,
implied, expressed, collateral, incidental. in
every possible form, shape, variety, mode,
tense or view that the ingenuity or malice Of
men may affirm it. 1t is lie. There is not
word of truth in it. There is not parti-
Gle of plausible foundation for it. There ia
not an event. fact, document or an Incl
dent which could justify reasonable, con.
scientious man concerning the possibility of
Every scrap that ever wrote or signed in
connection with the history of that event has
been published far and wide. If any man
mas anything yet. let him produce it. I defy
all my accusers."
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1877-10-11

AN agricultural society offered premium
for the best mode of irrigation, which was
printed irritation by mistake. An honest far
mer sent his wife to claim the prize.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1877-10-11
THE HOME CONCERT.
From Harper's Magazine for October.


Well, Tom my boy, I must say goodbye.
I've had wonderful visit here;
Enjoyed it. too as we'll a. could
Away from all that my heart holds dear.
Maybe I've been trifle rough
A little awkward, your wife would say
And very likely I've missed the hint
OF your city polish day by day.
But somehow, Tom, though the same old root
Sheltered us both when we were boys,
And the same dear mother love watched US Dotn,
Sharing our childish griets and Joys,
Yet YOU are almost stranger now;
Your ways and mine are as tar apart
AS though we never had thrown an arm
About each other with loving heart
Your city home is palace, Tom;
Your wife and children are fair to gee;
You couldn't breathe in the little cot,
The little home. that belongs to me,
And am lost in your grand large house,
And dazed with the wealth on every side,
And hardly know my brother, Tom,
In the midst of SO much stately prlde
Yes the concert was grand last night,
The singing splendid; but, do you know.
Ny heart kept longing, the evening through,
For another concert so sweet and low
That maybe it wouldn't please the ear
OF one 80 grand and cultured as you;
But to it's muslc-laugh if yOu will
My heart and thoughts must ever be true.
shut my eyes in the hall last night,
(For the clash of the music wearied me)
And close to my heart this vision came
The same sweet picture l always gee:
In the vineclad porch of a cottage home,
half in shadow and half in sun,
A mother chanting her lullaby,
Rocking to rest her little one.
And soft and sweet as the music fell
From the mothers lips, l heard the COO
OF my baby girl, as with drowsy tongue.
She echoed the song with .'Goo-acgoo."
Together they sang the mother and babe,
My wife and child, by the cottage door.
All! that is the concert, brOth,r Tom,
Ny ears are aching to hear once more.
So, now goodbye. And wish you well,
And many year of wealth and gain.
You were born to be rich and gay;
am content to be poor and plain.
And 20 back to my country home
With love that absence has strengthened TOO
Back to the concert all my own
Mothers singing and baby's Coo.
Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1877-10-11
This is the latest:

The boy stood by the stable door
And watched the pensive mule;
A thoughtful attitude it wore,
An air serenely cool.
That boy approached its hinder end
Let fall the plying tears
.sHe's gone to meet his brother, ana
His age was seven years"
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1877-07-15
The pronosed Ordnance.

To the Editor OF The Herald.l
A good deal of opposition has been
manifested TO the ordinance recon-
mended by Mayor Cabell, in relation
Ia the CITY free schools. BY reference
TO the constitution of the state, article
seven. section first, il will be found
that the general school law il consti'
tntional; "A general diffusion OF
knowledge being essential to the pro.
motion of the Liberties and rights OF
the people, it shall be the du.y oil the
LEGISLATURE to establish and make suita.
he provisions for the support and
maintenance of an efficient system OF
puhlic free schools BY reference 10
The Acts OF 1876, chapter l21, section
b5 IL will he seen that General
Cahelps proposed ordinance Is con
Sistent with the law: "Any incorpo-
rated city or town may have exclusive
control OF the public schools within rs
limits. provided they determine to do
an bv a majority of the property tax.
payers of the said city or town, ana
line council or board OF aldermen
thereof are invested with exclusive
noyer TO maintain, regulate, control
and govern all the public free schools
now established or hereafter to be e.
tabl;shed within the limits OF SAID
town or city, and they are furthermore
authorized to pass such ordinances,
rules and regulations not inconsistent
With the constitution and laws oil the
tate n may be necessary to estaGIish
and maintain free schools, purchase
bnIldiDg sites, construct school houses
and generally to promote free puolic
sIuestion within the limit OF their re-
srectiye cities or towns.
THE ordinance proposed, then, places
This matter just where the state law
&C. I'm what better hands can IL oe
,iaeed than the city council Ihey
ars or should be, clear-headed, strong
MINDED disinterested men. lhey are
"s likely to be SO as any other bC ,.
Trey have no AK to grind. Let mem
eaii assi.,ance whichever they need ~ y
The ordinance is perhaps dehsieh }. ~
not uroviding Tor board oil scil ,'.l,, "a
Emiuers.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1877-07-15
Thursday, July 10, lS77-c:2O a. m,

Institute met pursuant to adjourn
mcut.
Rev. J. r. Malone opened the session
with prayer.
The minutes of the preceding meet
ings were read and adopted.
The press having requested the pro
cccdincs of the Institute for publ
cotton the secretary Of the North Texas
Teachers Association was asked to CO.
operate with the secretary of the lnsti>
tutc in preparing the minutes for the
same.
The committee on organization subs
mitted the constitution and bylaws,
winch were adopted by a unanimous
vote.
ON motion the committee, having
performed their duty, were relieved.
Moved that the closing duty OF the
Institute be the election OF officers ana
the permanent organization OF the
Texas Education Association. Carried
The discussion on grammar was
opened by Prof. H. c. Stevens, who
recommended that the teaching OF
grammar commence by easy couyers.a-
lions with the children. relating to tue
uses of language. aud aiterward employ
standard text books to give a knows
edge OF the rules.
William II. Allen opened the
discussion of arithmetic, lmpresslng
the necessity of having students ana
I've and thoroughly explain all SOU,
tlous of examples and problems, anu OF
constantly illustrating to the class the
principles and rules OF arithmetic by
original matter. The discussion OIL
cicn question was continued at some
length by members OF the Institute. IL
was then decided that in the afternoon
session. the discussion oil the Oes'
methods Of teaching reading and Writ
ing be taken up. On motion the meet
ing adjourned to meet at 3 o clock pm
3 p.m-lnst.tute was opened win
prayer by DR. a. q. Allen. The hes
method OF teaching reading was dis
cu,sed by Prof. 7. Il. I. jackson, an.
many valuable suggestions were ad
vancci by different members OF the In
siitute. The subject Of writing wa
discussed by Mr.. H. A. Spencer, VIII
furnished the Institute with excellen
ideas on this important subject, and IN
sisted on teachers giving this suWec
more attention in their schools ltWa
then moved that their lnstitution Re
commend the Spencerian system 9
writing for adoption in the schools 2
Texas. On motion 1t was decided
complete the organization Of the Iexa
Educational association, at our mex
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1877-07-15

p. MAT the close of the institute
the president of the Texas Educational
Association called meeting. The fol~
lowing resolution was adopted
Rtsoired, That the corresponding Sec
rotary be appointed to correspond with
teachers in the state to arouse an inter
est on this subject, and decide upon an
appropriate place for holding meetings
and that the president be empowered
to call proper meetings.
Moved that the association proceed
to elect delegates to the national edu
tional convention, which meets on the
l4th proximo, at Louisville, Kentucky
Major j, M, Richardson, DR., NJ, B.
Franklin, Rev, j. b, Malone and DR.. A,
&C.. Allen were elected
The members of the state board oil
education be elected honorary mem
bers of this association.
Hon. J. b. Simpson, of Dallas, Rev.
w. ii. P. Mckenzie, D. D., Clarksville,
Dr.. w. IT, Trolinger, Whitesboro, Mr..
b. S. Fitzgerald, Houston, Major j, b.
Mervin, ST. Louis, Rev. H. $, Thrall
San Antonio, Rev. j. II, McLain, Paris
Rev. A. 2. Smith, D, D., Dallas, Rev
D. X. Marshall D. D Marshall, Texas,
Rev. j. NJ, Bindey sherman, DR.. Ash
bel smith, Houston, DR.. [. G, John,
Galveston, MAYOR W. +, Penn, defer
son, Rev j, II, Stribling, D. D. Tyler,
Rev. DR.. Byrd, Galveston, General W.
l.. Cabell Dallas, General r. NJ. Gano,
Dallas, were elected honorary members.
Moved that all county superiutend-
onts (ex-ollicio) be and are hereby
elected honorary members. Carried,
Resolpcd That the president and cor.
responding secretary be empowered
aud requested to prepare programme
and secure speakers tor our next meets
ing and give publication.
Adopted.
On motion the association adjourned,
subject to the call of the president.
WIN. II. ALLEN,
Secretary Texas Educational Association.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1877-07-15

The Institute met ucaorlug IN al
Iloummcnt Rev j, r Allen oprueI
| WIN prayer The minutes of Che bsr
day meetings were read. corrected and
adopted ~
lAo discussion of the question of ro.
sorting TO prizes asa stimulus wn.
opened by Prof. c. T.. umborrcr In am
able address and was engaged In h,
nearly all present and many argument
Drought forward both for and against
the awarding of prizes. ON motion
speeches on composition writing were
limited TO five minutes each. Alton.
some further speeches ON prizes. the
question Of teaching composition was
opened, and an interesting and instruc.
t'ye discussion ensued. The president
and the members of the Institute nan,
tlcipated in the discussion, presentinp
many important features Of the subject
and suggeslInga number ofmethods
Tor teaching this important part Of edn.
cation The president announced Major
>, NJ, Richardson OF Sulphur Springs
proC Nv T. rI..I. ~ ''''"', ''A"phl
, 'U o. "" ,, ", T nI' lancaster key Dr.
' 90, " n niioi'' D'.'"S ,o'onel'' D. Nmp'
9o', pi'i"', committee ior preparing
',,1,''I 70 uoAt legislature, II was
,I,o, a. "no carried 10y the Institute,
" ''r| ~ . 'N' president pr' NJ b. franklin,
ta ~ ''1i,'' u,' oo "4u'3 10 'he commits
. .Ie' WI motion 'he institute took up
80 c''o V,'I W, y, permanent 9lhtGrs' FRO,
I''S ,V - -, a spencer ~ II. Allen ana
49,, - "" w., Co','u"'3 were appointed com'
'' ~, Oh NOMINATIONS Inc following
o''I p'.3 T'ro y ,,c.'''
90, : Iys'o'3N mayor 49, NJ Richardson
2u'puur springs NleepreSldent, first
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1877-07-15

At the foot of Lookout Mountain,
near Chattanooga, was fought many "
hard battle during the war, On that
same ground, neatly forty years ago a
victory was game more glorious than
any gained by our armies. A remedy
was there discovered for liver diseases,
that excited the wonder of scientific
men and physicians Purely vegeta-
Die, it excelled In curative properties
tie mineral drugs, such as calomel,
and was as harmless to the system and
almost as pleasant to the taste as COTS
fee. This worid>tamous remedy is DR..
a. q Simmons Vegetable Liver Med
iciue, manufactured by NJ. A. Thed
ford IL Co., Chattanooga, Tenn IL is
for sale by all druggists, who have also
some trial packages which will be
given to all applicants free of charge.
jun27. d&wlm