Western sentinel. [volume] (Winston [i.e. Winston-Salem], N.C.) 1856-1886, 1877-09-06
provoke snch an avalanche Of bad

provoke snch an avalanche of bad
language. aIn'
The discovery last week that
Mars has, two moons, completely
upscts the theory that the planet
is not Inhabited. Why these moons
were. not discovered before is a
question that only ursophistieated
persons will ask. A few years age,
if an, astronomer had discovered Il
Material satellite he wonld donbt'
less have kept J. it quiet, but at
present there are go many telescopes
in the hand of unprofessiopal men
that any conccalmentetan aetronem
ic fact by as eientifc person would
be sure to be detected.r In all
probability the. fnoons Of Mars have
been known to unprihcipIed astruho
mers for many years, and have been
unfairly kept from us. AT last,
however, we know the truth, and
can draw from the existence of the
Material moons demonstration Of
the existence OF Material inhabi-
tants.
We have every reason TO believe
that the laws OF nature are the same
on every planet. On the earth the
light of the full moon calls into
existence countless ,nyriads of cats,
which collect on the back fences OF
five continents and sing silnultane,
ously the praises of the moon. The
same cause must produce the same
effect in Mars. In fact, as Mars
has two moons, it must have twice
as many cats in proportion to its
size as has the earth. When both
Of these moons are at the tnll, and
| the feline millions of Mars are Join
ing in glad chorus, the effect must
be in the highest degree sublime,
not to say nice.
The tuncful midnight cat postu
ates the back fcnce. This great
natural law must hold good in
Mars, or any other planet where
cats exist. There are, then, back
fences in Mars, and as the number
OF these fences must vary directly
as the square OF the number of cats,
(see Ncwton's Principia, Chap.
XviI, Mars must be more thickly
covered with back fences than is
the centre of an ordinary block of
New York houses. But the fence,
in its turn, postulates the house
Hence, there are vast quantities of
houses in Mars, and either these
houses are inhabited, or else nature
in that is gnilty OF wasting her en-
ergies and providing useless and
aim,ess hoEscs.
| Conclusive as this rigid reasoning
must be conceded to be, it is only one
Of the methods by which the exist
enco Of inhabitants i'll Mars can be
deduced from the fact of its two
moons. The cat is not the only ami
NAL that coeXists with the moonlight.
Given q moon, and lovers follow as a
matter of course. Now the lover IS
only an nndeyeloped form Of human
ity, and unless he is cut off by an un-
timely father OF jealous dog, he in
evitably develops into real inhabit-
ant. Owing to its double quantity of
moons, Mars has, un4uestionably, an
excessive supply of lovers; but these
lovers are so many inchoate inhabit-
ants, and in time they must rent
houses, pay taxes, subs to news
papers, and, in short, exhibit all the
traits Of the true inhabitant.
! Though it is impossible to approve
Of the habits and customs of scientif-
ic persons, science itself is sometimes
useful and pleasing thing. The
mind of man, unsided by science,
could not arrive at knowledge OF
| the fact that Mars is inhabited simply
by knowing that it has moons. To
him, however, who can carry on pro-
longed process of inductive reasoning
in accordance with scientific princi-
pies, the task is a mere trife. The
ordinary person would be surprised
were he to be told all that science will
enable its able reasoner to accomplish ;
and if this humble illustration of sci
entifc reasoning develops new inter
est in, and respect for, science, it will
I fulfil jfS nnrDOSa