Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-07-13
Gan Apprentice wanted"


ery store; il was so close to it that
the lady who managed the place had
the curls, the winning smile and the
dignity of frst-class milliner, and
she also hated men.
About ten o'clock in the forenoon
a man on the last half mile of life
halted before the door, read the sign
and number several times, compared
them with an advertisement in a
morning paper, and no longer hesi-
tated to enter. He was portly, and
a rim of red and gray hair ran
around his head just above his ears
to hide the badness at the crown.
'This is your advertisement" lie
queried, as he laid the paper on the
showcase.
The lady said it was.
"Can l see you alone?" he softly
asked, and he looked around the
store.
She led the way to the back room
where dresses were fitted, and, after
taking a seat, he put his hat on the
floor between his feet and continued:
$50 you have no one to love, eh?''
"What?" she exclaimed.
"Want some dear boy to pinch
your rosy cheek and call you his dear
peck-o'- peaches, do your" he asked.
"Sir! who are you?" she almost
howled,
"P. G. White, my DEAR" he smiled.
"Why this astonishment, dear girl?
Wasn't you expecting an answer to
your advertisements
"My advertisement"
eyes, dear. You advertised for
an apprentiee-apprentice with a
big A, | saw through it in a min
ute, put OIL my Sunday suit, hunted
you up, and here l am. l like your
looks very much. Am / as good
looking an old boy as you conjured
up in your hours of reverie?"
"SIr!" she screamed.
Don't be so formal" he coaxing-
ly replied. "I've got my faults, of
course, but I've got wealth here in
my wallet, and more in the bank.
Please call me Pete and Pll call you
Dolly"
"Yoq great Yillainl what are you
saying?" she hOwled, as she sprang
up.
"Don't, Dolly, don't!" he protest
ed, as he waved her down. 81 ex-
pected a reasonable amount of coy
ness, and am glad to see it, but
don't be nervous, my luscious har-
vest apple. If we can come to an
understanding Pll buy Shakespeare
and we'll read Hamlet together, for
l think you have a taste for the
drama as well as myself"
"You are drunk-you are crazy
get out O. here!"
"NOw, Dolly, is that the right
way-to advertise for an apprentice
and then call the applicant names
and order him out?''
"You-you apply?" she gasped.
"CertaiRly, my dear tulip bios
som. | saw the little joker in your
advertisement in a second. You
didn't want to come. out and adver-
tise for a husband, and so you used
the word apprentice, Pretty good,
Dolly, l admire sharpness in a wo-
man. How do you like me, any
how?"
"You old ascal-Eou Villain-Tll
call the police! don't want no
husband-I won't have one-Fn have
you arrested"
"Dolly, don't you want a hus-
band?" he soberly asked, looking
greatly amazed.
"No, sir"
"Then why didn't you say so at
the end of your advertisement: NO
husband wanted?" You shouldn't
have raised these wild, hopeless
hopes in my throbbing breast. A
man of my age is liable to commit
suicide when the reaction takes
place."
'Get Out!' she exclaimed as she
rushed around the room.
"Is there no hope, Dolly?"
"Get out!"
"Won't my cherry blossom bid
me hang my hat ON at least one
faint hope?"
"Policep she screamed as she
started for the street door.
''Pll go out, Dolly, my chrome
of course I'll go; but you shouldn't
have fooled me. Pm gettig old and
rheumatic, and rackets in the knees,
and this thing may kill me. Dolly,
is there no h-o-a-p that your heart
will change before noon?"
She finng two bonnets and
spring hat, and a crowd was gather
ing as he lodged ont. He walked
to the next corner, wiped out his
eyes, and he looked really sad as he
leaned against the lamp-post and
can apprentice with a big A, a
with a big NJ, and ! feel dis
with a big d. Such
things only hasten me To the grave. |