The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-07-19

high official station, are said to have ex-
pressed much qualification at the intclli
gehce.
SENSE AND NONSENSE.
LACE neckties are worn by gentlemen.
AN idle roomcr-thc discharged hotel
clerk.
Isle thread gloves without buttons;
but with long clicked wrists, are in great
demand.
"twoutD not live always
tAsk not to stay
80 he ate green peach
Aud was clrted awxy..-HdWk- Eye.
TRAMPs are very fond of flowers, and
may be found peeping into Fait1s and in
Quiring if the proprietor has anemOnc for
a poor blind cripple.
A WOMAN was offered thousand dol
lars if she would remain silent for two
hours. At the end of fifteen minutes she
asked, Isn't the time nearly ups"
THEY tell of an Oregon mule which
"placidly halted for a moment on the
mad brink Of an awful gorge and then
threw himself into the arms Of death.''
mo-" SHE said, and the wrinkles in
her face smoothed out pleasantly. mo,
l do not remember the last seventeen.
year lOcusts. was an infant then. ~
Neseark Call.
A CONNECTICUT preacher says that q
good congregation will praise the music,
the choir, the ventilation and the civili-
ties Of the usher, but as to the sermon,
Well, l Dunno
A MAN usually makes rs much fuss in
steering lumber stalk of asparagus to his
mouth as an old woman trying to thread
cambria needle with linen hrpad.-1Mr.
ner's Falls Reporter.
THERE was nothing but plain slab at
the head of the mound, but the simple in.
scrtptiOn upon it tells its own sad story:
" He was umpire in close game. "-Cin-
cinnati Saturday Night
A VERY precise person, rcmarking upon
Shakcspeare's line "The good men do is
oft Inferred with their bones" carefully
observed that this intcrment can generally
take place without crowding the bones.
A sAaACIoUs Newfoundland dog at
Mcriden, Conn.,, instead Of rescuing a
small boy from a pond, deposited small
boy in the pond. The youth had tried to
steal the sagacious Newfoundland's new
muzzlc.
A TERRIBLE warning comes from Aus.
tin, New. A man who has not performed
any manual labor for twelve years was
foolishly persuaded to 60 to work, and the
first day he fell from scaffolding anil
was fatally injured.
A LITTLE dog took refuge in the prl-
vatc safe of bank-vault at Virginia City,
almost air-tight, on a recent Saturday, to
cool his nose by resting it against stacks
Of coin. He was locked in and not re-
leased till Monday morning. He is rally
ing slowly.
THE flower-lOving citizen, who has spent
all his leisure time this season in laying
out flowcr-bcds and fostering the same,
will have his reward this summer, when
his daughters heaux will carry off his
choicest varieties for button hole bouquets
-Nerark Cal.
WHEN smallaboy with q prejudice
against yellow dogs observes an old oyster
can in q condition of inactivity, he at
once begins debating the question whether
It was created to point moral or adOrn q
tail. The dog gets the first news of the
Observation-Disclosures Press.
After the rising generation have mas
tered the metric system, it might lie we'll
to introduce into the public schools a
short course of instruction in base. ball
scoring. The complicated tables of fig
ures now daily published are about as
perplexing to the Leverage reader as
the inscriptions on q tea-chcst.-Bostcn
Herald.
SMKEN purses are In use again, and
ladies are knitting them for pastime. They
~Nf n I'll c1,of1n1 cs11,c Vv,st1, 1>enfo
without, and are furnished with silvereil
rings and bead fringes. The silk twist
comes in skeins, sticks and spOols of all
colors, and the rings and fringes are fur.
nished separately. There are also steel
clasps and chains for the half purses that
are crOtcheted of silk in the shape of those
made of wire.
A MAN could stand the flies and never
lose his temper, If they would Only bc
content to be buried where they fall but
when fly rs big as grain of coffee falls
on its back on slab of butter, turns ovet
the plate, struggling and wading through
everything it can find, and finally crematea
itself in bath of hot coffee, good gracious
but it does make Christian mad.-Bur.
lington Hook Eye.
a WAOOW III OuAuuOIC pun GRAPE Vu uCL
door. The Grape remained there about a
interrupt her grief, and when he en-.
tered he found nothing there but the
house. Her grief was so intense that she
had inadvertently removed all the furni
ture. The debt of nature which had beer
paid was suggestions. The debt for rem,
remains uncancelled. And yet they Say
that women are not calculated for bust
ness.-R0chkster Democrat.
30 WHY was I born ?" said he; "why
did they yank me by the hair Out
of eternal n0thingness into concrete exist
ence, to buffet the storms of this rude
world, with NO postponement on acc0un
of the weather? What, then, is this prob
lem Of human destiny with which Science
has impotently wrestled for so many
centuries!" But she told him, all thu
same, that there was no base ball for him
that afternoon; and, if he didn't get tn
kindling split before his father came
home, there'd be some wrastling tina
would make Science open her eyes wher
she struck that w0od-shed.
T.s Brewes' should 10 :" Malta 60.
The osslsss'' t. - :. fsssdiy Islss."
The little sna Hing, carolling Babes,"
That break our nightly rest,
should be packed OH 70 " Babylon"
To = Lapland'' or to BIZ. ST.
From spithead'' cooks go DER to " Greece"
And while the Is Miser' waits
His passage to the 'Guinea" coast,
"Spendfhrifts'' are In the STRATA"
"Spineters' should to the - Needles" 80,
'Wine- bibbefs" to :. Burgundy"
Commands" should lunch Ut Sandwich Isles,
"Wags'' at the Bay Of Fundy,"
I" Bachelor to the United Sites"
maids to the " isles Of MAN.
Let Gardener 60 to " Botany Bay"
And "Shoeblacks'' to :" Japan"
Thus cmigrate-and misplaced men
win then NO lCAgcr vex ~,
Ard then all who're not provided for
Had better 60 to "Texae."
The time of year will soon be at hant
when you will buy dollars worth o.
age-stamps, fold them up and plac.
them In your pocket book, and when you
need them, find the bunch glued together
in such shape that the entire mass wouli
vnnA ~or.r, Ses,v, pip,ps,1op f thu vnvt t<Svsm