Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1877-01-23
s'My Shabby Wife,"
BY GABRIELLE LEE,

ssMy Shabby Wife,"
BY GABRIELLE LEE.
Some people are born neat, some
achieve neatness, and some have neat
ness thrust upon them. Alas, was not
born neat From my earliest childhood,
my tendencies all seemed to point in
just the opposite direction. Was [ ar
rayed in new dress? Either L fell up
stairs, or tumbled down, making great
rent in the fabric, and bringing disgrace
upon myself for the rest of the day. Was
sent to dancing school, in pair of
delicately colored CATERS? Of course
I stepped into a mud puddle, and be-
came everybody's butt in consequence
thereof Did some relenting maiden
aunt "work" for me a charming little
bag, rainbow tinted, and lined with
dainty silk? The first time L took it
out with me I lost it, and afterwards
learned, to my childish horror, that the
magnificent gold watch, with charms
and seals, which Aunt Araninta, the
donor of the bag, had promised to leave
me in her will, was to be given to niece
oh, biting contrast who ''never lost
anything that was given her."
Gftu ditCI i SlSW up, Glu tlOt SUI
coed in achieving neatness. What 9TH
work to me. And to this day I view
with envy and admiration the shining
coils of lustrous hair, the delicate frills,
the spotless toilet ofsome neat represen-
tative of the sex, of which am such q
hapless member: and [ wonder. like a
baby, chow they do it ?"
Neither has neatness been thrust upon
me. Happy had it been so! If my par
ents had belonged TO that class of rigid
individuals, who insist upon neatness as
the great essential, perhaps even might
have comprised that, to me, most diff
ficult of sciences. But alas it is not so.
My parents were only too indulgent in
this, as in all other matters. And SO [
came to the conclusion that pencils with
out points, garments minus hooks and
buttons, laces without tags, collars that
were too big or two little, gloves out at
the fingers, snagged dresses, bad fits. and
so on to the end of the chapter, were my
destiny. I concluded it was no use to
fight against fate, and after 9 feeble
struggle gave up the attempt in despair.
Well, this did pretty well, until l mar
ried. For, odd enough, [ had suitors.-
Perhaps there may be other qualities
than neatness that win men, though
Aunt Araminta always wound up her
seedlings" by cycling me severely, and
declaring, mo man with eyes in his
head will ever want you for wife, I can
assure your
But the man who married me did have
eyes in his head, and very wonderful
eyes, too. Clear as jewels, ever chang
ing, and each change livelier than the
last. But he was fastidious. His tastes
were aesthetic. Hence my woes.
Yet he was eminently practical, with
it all. Let me give an instance. One
warm summer afternoon, expecting my
husband at five, I donned lovely
Chinese gauze, with train and when
1 heard his step, ran to meet him, with
silvery, SIS it you, dear ?"
Eyes, my -" He stopped, and ex
claimed, "But what have you put on all
that elegance for? Are we to have com
pany?" This accompanied by a glance,
not of appreciation.
"Why, 1 thought that THAT you
would like to see me dressed" stammer-
ed I.
ayes, dear, certainly but you know I
am a practical man, and 1 can't help
thinking that if you put on the only real
ly handsome summer dress you have
(how well he knew my limited ward
robe,) every day, that when you are in
vited out, you will have nothing to
wear"
Why couldn't 1 have been sensible,
and said, Certainly, dear, you are
right" and quietly changed my dress,
without more to do. But how often are
young wives sensible.
At all events, [ was not. Angry tears
arose to my eyes, my bosom heaved, my
breath came and went with quick resent
ment. I flew to my bed room my train
Of gauze caught in the stairs in my up
ward flight, and huge, unsightly rent
was the result. But in my foolish anger
I cared but little for this. I tore off the
now despised dress, and in doing so, by
q careless jerk, detached my beautiful
watch-my husbands wedding gift
with such force that it flew out of my
hand, and struck sharply against mar
BILE corner of the mantiepiece, breaking
its crystal, and injuring its works to
such an extent, that it cost me Tor rather
my husband, for I had not penny in
my own right, matter of ten dollars
for repairs.
Another popularity of mine was love
for making bargains. 1 got the idea
that the less money I spent on my clothes
the more l should have for benevo-
lence. 1 therefore bought cheap gloves
which split at once in the wearing
horrid boots, that made my feet, which
naturally were slim and arching, appear
thick and fiat; and dress materials pur-
chased at establishments where they
were always selling out at sacrifice"
that did not pay for the making up. My
husband detested bargains. for he said
they "always cost double in the end;"
lint no eft rotod NTH in,
and being too wise a man to waste
words, in the end simply shrugged his
shoulders and lifted his eyebrows over
my obstinate perversity, which, by this
time, had become faulty. He called me,
meantime, laughingly, my shabby
wife" But felt the thorn beneath the
smile, and cried once or twice in secret
over 1t.
My husband was man of letters, with
hobby-Conchelogy. He had made
some discoveries ofnote in this direction,
and his collection" was considered the
best in the country. So well establish
ed was his reputation, that certain IA
nous professors, in one of our greatest
cities, had invited him to deliver a lee
ture upon his speciality.
"Ofcourse you will take me with you,"
said I.
Certainly. But you must have q new
bonnet" he replied.
At another time should have protest
ed for | prided myself upon wearing my
bonnets until they were so entirely out
of date, that even / was ashamed to don
them and had fully expected to take
another winter out Of my present head
gear.
Well, went into town, for we lived
hn 4 nd -
in pursuit of a bargain, 1 hurried to a
certain milliner's shop, famed for its
cheapness. Here I selected bonnet
suitable in shape and general appearance
for woman of about seventy. 1t was
black velvet, with a coarse blue flower
n it. The latter offended even my taste, |
and having heard that brown was fash. |