Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1877-06-12
"HOld the Fort ~

ssHOld the FOrtw
Last Monday afternoon the eleven
Boblink boys surrounded and caught
an enormous, shaggy, strong-smelling,
wicked looking goat, of the masculine
gender. turned him loose in Burdock's
garden, nailed up the gate, and then
went home, and flattened their eleven
little noses against the back windows to
watch for coming events.
Before his goatship had spent three
minutes in that garden, he had managed
to make himself perfectly at home,
pulled down the clothes line, and de-
voured two lace collars, pair of under
sleeves, and striped stocking belong.
ing to Mrs. B., and was busily engaged
in sampling one of Burdock's shirts
when the servant girl came rushing out
with basket of clothes to hang up.
1.-The saints preserve us!' she ex-
claimed, coming to full halt, and gaz-
ing open-mouthed at the goat, who was
calmly munching away atsthe shirt.
"Shew! shew shew, there!" scream
ed the girl, setting down her basket
taking her skirts in both hands, and
shaking them violently toward the in
truder.
Then the goat, who, evidently con
sidered her movements in the i3ht OF
challenge, suddenly dropped his wicked
old head, and darted at her with the
force of an Erie locomotive, and just
one minute later by the city hall clock,
that girl had tumbled back summer
sault over the clothes basket, and was
crawling away on her hands and knees
-, e 10 iod
by goat, who butted her on the hustle
ground every third second.
1t is probable he would have kept on
butting her for the next two weeks if
Mrs. Burdock who had been witness
of the unfortunate affair, had not armed
herself with the family poker and hur-
ried to the rescue.
"Merciful goodness Anne, do get up
on your feet ~ she exclaimed, aiming a
murderous blow at the beasts head, and
missing it by few of the shortest kind
of inches. 1t was not repeated, owing
to the goats suddenly rising up on his
hind feet, waltzing toward her, and
striking her in the small of the back,
hard enough to loosen her finger nails
and destroy her faith in glorious i'm
mortality.
When Mrs. B. returned to conscious
ness, she crawled out from behind the
grindstone, where she had been tossed
and made for the house, stopping only
once, when the goat came after and but.
ted her, head-first into the grape arbor.
Once inside the house, the door was
locked, and the unfortunates sought the
solitude of their own rooms, and such
comfort as they could extract from rub
bling and growing, while the goat wan
dorod 0roup6 tho r6ou lilo Catap in
the book of Job, seeking what he coulc
devour. and the eleven little BoblinR
boys fairly Rugged themselves with
pleasure over the performance.
By the time Burdock returned home
that evening and learned all the partic
ulars from his arnica-soaked wife, the
goat had eaten nearly all the weeks
washing, half the grapevine. and one
side out of the clothes-basket.
"Why in thunder didn't you put him
out, and not leave him there to destroy
everything? ?" he demanded angrily.
because he wouldn't go, and I wasn't
going to stay there and be killed, that's
why !" answered his wife, excitedly.
Wouldn't fiddlesticks !" he exclaim'
ed, making for the garden, follow ed by
the entire family.
"Get out of there, you thiefW ht
shouted, as he came into the garden anC
caught sight of the shaggy, and highly
perfumed visitor.
The goat bit off another mouthful O
the basket, and regarded him with {
mischievous twinkle of his eyes.
"You won't go, hey?" exclaimed
Burdock, trying to kick hole in the
enemy's ribs. HTll show YOU wheth-'
The sentence was left unfinished, a.
the goat just then dropped his head or
Burdock's shirt bosom, and before ht
could recover his equilibrium, he ha6
been butted seven times in seven fresh
spots, and was down On his knees crawl
ing around in very uudignified man
ner, to the horror of the family and thu
infinite glee of the eleven young Bob
links next door.
''Look out he don't hurt your
screamed Mrs. Burdeck, as the goat sen
him flying into snow pile.
When Burdock had got his bald heat
out of the snow, he was mud all owe
his clothes, and tried to clutch the brute
by the horns, but desisted after he'd los
. two front teeth, and been rolled in tht
mud.
Don't make living show of your
self before the neighbours" advised his
wife.
"Come in, pa, and let him be-" begged
his daughter.
"Golly, dad, look out, he's comm
agin'!" shouted his son, enthusiast
cally.
Then Burdock waxed profane, and
swore three-story oaths in such rapid
succession that his family held theil
breath, and pious old lady, who livet
in house in the lear, shut up her win.
dows, and sent out the cook to hunt fol
a policeman or missionary.
run for it, dad!" advised his son
moment later, when the goats attention
seemed to be turned away.
Burdeck sprang to his feet and follow
ed his offspring's suggestion. He was
Logging it in superb style, and the
chances Of his reaching the house seemed
excellent, when the fragrant brute sud.
denly clapped on more steam, gained
rapidly, and darting between his legs
capsized him into the ash-box.
His family dragged him inside, an
other candidate for rubbing, arnica, and
a blessed haven of rest.
The back of the house has been her.
metically sealed and Burdock now pro-
poses extending an invitation to the mi
Htia regiments of Boston to come down
and practice Workmanship off the roof,
promising to furnish live goat for a
target, and a silver-plated napkin ring
as the first prize. The goat still holds
the fort.
A schoolmaster asked a class what
Shylock meant when he said, my
deeds upon my head" "WeIl," said
one of the boys, II don't know, unless
he carried his papers IN his hat"