The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1877-08-23
The Aged Tramp.

Inc lady OF Cottage hill house the
nurse-girl and cook, held brief consul
tation, and concluded that an old man
whose toes stuck a rod out of his boots.
and the crown of whose summer hat was
held by a hinge of straw and tapped up
and down in the wind, disclosing the fact
that the aged wearer was bald, verv bald.
must be really worthy, and they invited
him to a seat in the kitchen while his
breakfast was being prepared. The fra
GRANGE of the frying-pan revived the
dropping spirits of the aged tramp, and
unlocked his streams of conversation
which the cold charities of the world had
frozen up. fitting his chair back, he
said:
The people of the oil regions appear
to get along right slick. Everywhere
have been things look comfortable and
homelike, and business seems to be crowd
ing right ahead"
With this as a starter, the old man
carried the conversation through state
and national politics, religion, literature,
&c.
81 like my meat well DONE" he sug-
gesUed to the cook, who he observed was
preparing to lift his steak from the stove ;
"and that reminds me-" he went on,
chat the Russians are pursuing an
under-dOne, wishy-washy course on the
banks of the Danube"
He frightened the cord that held his
coat together in lieu of buttons, tapped
an ear to unseat a troublesome fly, and
continued:
''Dog my cats if it doesn't make me
about half mad at the Gar. If 1 had
command of that army, do you know
what I would do?" and he shut one eve
and glared at the lady of the house as
inquir ngly as a catechism. No one
seemed to know.
81 would push right across" exclaimed
the old man, striking the sink with his
| fist, "and if I wouldn't make those
greasy Turks hunt their holes there's no
hereafter. All it requires is a pontoon
bridge and little git up and go long,
Mary Jane"
His breakfast was ready, and thrust
| ing his legs under the table with the all
| of man who had just bought the house
and lot and paid the money down, he
harpOoned roasted potato and con.
tinued:
"Old Hopandgofetchit, who has com.
mand of the Russian znuaves, is in the
best position in the world to skip right
| along into COnstantinOple and take DOS
session of the court house. would do il
Il swear to gracious l would do it
and he reached out and captured a hard
boiled egg.
~ would do it go quick it would
make their everlasting heads swim. Their
l would take a run across the Mediter
ranean, flop down on the Suez cana
boats, tear up the toW-path and take
possession of the mules. Then across the
country to the Gulf of Mexico, I would
| fly as the hurricane, leaving death anC
desolatiOn in my-see here, Susan" ht
said, breaking short and addressing the
nurse girl, ''for the love of heaven, dom
hold the baby with its head down"
The old gent continued to draw in thu
victuals like man who hadn't tasted
bite for six months, and talking in a way
to turn a book agent green with envy
He told the woman what Congress Ough-
to do when it meets, and finally showed
| away from the table, wiped his lips with
the cloth and asked them if they had al
old pair of pants that wasn't bagged al
the knees. The pants were hunted III
and handed TO him by the lady of the
house, whs In turn asked if he would 90
into the garden patch and kill a few
potatOe bugs for her.
"Potato bugs" he said, as he gathered
up his hat and passed to the door, ''po
tato bugs are something with which
have had no experience. l don't know
one from a jay bird. But a friend O
mine will be here about noon who car
kill more potato bugs in a minute thar
you could shake a stick at. I'll leave
chalk mark on the gate-post and he viii
call. Ta-ta," and the aged tramp tipped
his hat gayly and was OFF, his stemacI
sticking cut in front of him like a BAY
window.-OH City Derrick.