The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1877-12-15
HUMOROUS.

" us a word, which we constantly hear,
But yet nobody tells what it is
Says the PEREZ with hitch, that was funny
" II ls--yes, it is nothing confound it;
vi more clearly, perhaps, my dear sonny,
lis j hole,-without anything round it..
e. B. d., in Boston Trdreter
1T would be the proper thing for Sena-
tor Jones to publish pamphlet entitled
That Mine of Mine. - Worcester Press.
JOSH Billings says "nobody never
seen ded ant" This is probably be-
cause 1--we ones are moribundant.
LIARS are like salt miners: they I'M
derminey the truth, but leave inst as
much standing asjs necessary to support
the edifce.
AS carriage rolled by, laden with
wealthy cltlZens, a countryman was
heard to exclaim: "Money makes them
air gof'
THE great question, "Does it hurt a
man to hang him?' is answered by the
Syracuse EUening Herald" 1t hurts his
reputation.
"GIyE My Chewing Gum to Gertie''
is the latest popular song. The pathos
is said to be very affecting = Utica Oh
seruer.
TEN BROCK musing in his stall:
height, but-suppose | did have the
stomach ache; Pm the first horse that
ever made Congress adlourn.-LOuis-
riUe C0ur:erJounat
STANLEY has discovered fifteen million
hitherto unknown heather, and every
married man will have to renew the old
struggle to keep his best plug hat out
of the box which the Ladies' Missionary
Society is making up Worcester Press.
ADVERTISEMENT in the Paris Figaro:
ga young man, twenty-eight years old,
offers to make a voyage anywhere, for
anybody, and with anybody, for any
length of time, to obtain the means inn
mediately TO pay all his debts"
A YOUNG gentleman from the country,
stopped at one of the New York hotels,
sat down~to dinner. Upon the bill of
fare being handed to him by the waiter,
he remarked that he didn't care bout
readin' now-he'd wait till after dinner"
THUS do the innocent oftentimes suffer
with the guilty. Two repulsive-looking
organ-grinders from sunny Italy were
sent to Jail in Albany the other day, and
the poor monkeys, alas! had to go too
THERE is hint of unspoken pathos,
touch of patient suffering and resigna-
ton, in this birth notice from the Marys-
vile appeal: In this city, August 8,
to the wife of VIM. Lee, son-not twins
this time"
AN exchange wants to know how the
Turks happened to learn to fight so WE'LL
Why, man, most of the Turkish officers
have over half dozen wives.-T Turner'S
Falls Reporter
A MAN with four bullet holes in his
body was found near Nashville the other
day. A poem entitled "The Beautiful
Sn-" was discovered in his pocket, and
no attempt was made to apprehend the
murderer
THIS is an off season for the small boy.
He can't eat green fruit and he can't fall
through an ice hole; so he hangs round
the parlor and tells his sisters young
man how much of Anna Maria's chiefest
glory is hair and how much is jute
switch.
1T is cold in the fourth floor back hall
bedroom of the clearinghouse, these
nights, and the young man with flute
ISM 50 Timber and expansive with that
instrument as he used to be in the balmy
evenings of early June.-Etpericnc Of
Puck
/ If the marriage service could only be
modified and amended as to include the
/ lighting of morning fires among the
other obligations assumed by the bride,
there wouldn't be so many old bachelors
jabbing their fingers with darning nee
dies and shivering around in the cold.
THE principal of Jesus College, Ok
ford, died lately. The college is almost
exclusively attended by Welshmen, who
keep very much to themselves. A strang-
er went to inquire for Mr.. Jones. The
porter grinned. Lor bless YOU, sir,n
said he, we've twenty-four on EN-"
A DUBLIN DIALoGUE.-Firs Pat:
" A cheer for Gladstone, is it? Amy
thrue Irish paythriot nd curse his
name" Second Pat: "Arrah! why
now" First Pat: "Sorra' the man
Twin has done so much to deproive us iv
our grievances -Punch.
WHAT do you charge for quart of
your milk here?" inquired man, as he
put his head in the door of milk-shop
Eight cents" was the reply. "Ain't
you got any for seven cents?" No."
said the proprietor, but" he added,
"we can make some"
cousin FRED, you're not at all nice,
now you are married. Why, you haven't
paid me compliment for ages. Have
you forgotten how to compliment"
My dear Clara, I've been married two
years, and of course Pm awfully out of
practice. "-Harper's Bazar.
LOOK here, you critter," exclaimed a
Hoboken man the other night, as he
brought his hand down on the place
where mosquito sat- " do you take me
for lunch counter?" The mosquito,
by this time sitting on the far side of the
room, was very respectful and make no
reply.
A BURLINGTON man has invented a
device for assisting the victim who is Sc
lected to carve Thanksgiving turkey.
Two strong iron clamps, set in the table,
reach up through holes in the platter
and grasp the turkey so firmly that the
man can tear it to tatters in the usual
way, without sliding it off into anyone's
lap.-Btrtington Hawkeye.
PIGG-FRY-At the house of the
brides parents, Rock Falls, ILL.,, Nov. IA,
1877, by the Rev. A. H. Miller, Mr..
| Spencer F. Pigg and Miss Eva Fry.
Correct. Some would bake, and some
broil, but fried pig is better and jucier.
May there never be broil or a stew in
the happy Pigg family.
DR.. THOMAS recalls an incident which