The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1877-05-19
TRUTHS AND IRIFL ES.~

Truthteller, has been sued for lying. ~e
dear me!' exclaimed a rheumatic l oIrr,
old man, annoyed by an untimely snow ss I
storm. 81 hope that when die I'll 60
where there'll be no snow" "Well, | 60.
presume you WILL" quietly responded Xxx:
his aged wife. or.
"A coroner's jury in Arkansas found
"that the deceased, who was a bachelor, RDl
died by his own hand, Ee.0g moved nd
thereto by the discovery that his hair had Pity
grown 30 thin that he could no longer n: 81
hold a pen behind his ear" 1 al III
.."Do you see that man over there? IS, q
said a tall Vermonter to a stranger. ter, n
"He is the best specimenot the survival
of the fttest' on all this earth, cause, F
you see, he's had more fits thar. any other 0erien
man, and yet survives" IS "
"A Spaniard and ap American were 70 &c,
recently dining together in New Orleans q So
The former in passing q dish of brains to
the latter said, what You lack" The lex.
American, offering the Spaniard q plate CT, y
of tongue, answered, What you have
surplus Of" ""I
els your master at homer said a Dee
caller to the servant who came to the to
door. "No, he's out" els your mis-
tress I'M" "No, ste's out" Every NJ n'5 81,
we'll; I'll just step in and warm myssl ~ 2cr
by the fire." "The fires out, to' ifycd cr, N
please, sir"
AN aged man said: "If lsbands ABLE
only had any sense, they'd ner have
any trouble with disobedient ives. I '1Ck
did, an I've been married nil on to
fifty years." What is your ecret p' .
asked a friend. "Why, I alsys tell Mast
my wife to do just as she pleasean' she .,eIg
never fails to t6 it" a.
%" You see, you young olksSaid old
Uncle Jebus, " Just you heark to me ~
and listen good. Marriage b0s with "a
counting and sometimes ends WI court -,
ing; the first being prOceedingn court
ship and ending with the pam, and S5.'
the second being proceedinein the
courthouse and ending with thherif."
An old bachelor was orting a An.
widow, and both sought the aidf art to Ivan
, give their fading hair a dark hade. ~ o,
/ "That's going to be an ahctonate b ',rs
. couple" said q wag. How sF'asked ~
: q friend. "Why, don't you . that
= they are dye-ing for each other alIdyT
e was, the reply. on
e ..Tiddy Lavender: "Weall now, 1870.
:, dadn't I bettaw-haw-see yOlcWo~ per
g the common! No2 You're notfwaid
s of donkeyhssYF" Lady friend: tanks, Ev15
G no, not at all though of cou, Pm ut
too awfully glad to gctid of" t aGI'
them" Tiddy, (twenty minut after = u 5
refection): "Now-haw-wb the IN in
/ dooce did she mean by that I" -
The French commission chged with led
y devising means of arresting tn ravages r ri
d of the phylloxera in the vinerds has -
decided that the only remedy Ill be the -
!, tering up, under governmentsuperVis
u ion, of all vines afflicted wittthe pest
The canton of Geneva, in Sitzerland,
10 has adopted a similar course, nd has ar
Is rested the ravages of the inset. Il
She was fond of ~conunrums, and NJ
y when she learned that muller was Latin
for womaI, she thought she had a good
one. So 1he asked her husband what ue
s. was the difference between herself and ~
a mule. And, as he had been married III
Il several years, he was too thoughtful : la
at trouble her by guessing, but kindly re- 9 ne
10 marked that he had never been able to j.
n. gee any. d
dc "A commercial traveller, by mistake, l.
ia handed a merchant, upon whom he had -
ke called, a portrait of his betrothed instead N
pe of his business card, saying that he repre-"
sented that establishment. The mer-
70 chant examined it carefully, remarked
that it was a fine establishment, and re- i
+o turned it to the astonished and blushine 0
n. traveller, saying: "Ihope that yeu wi
Tia soon be admitted into partnership"
n. - The course of none. has been ahg
er 10 beaten a road that they r~ememberoS y
ly fondly some resting places in their jPr' mid
he news, some turns in their paths WILEY
TO- lovely prospects broke in upon the-
we some soft plats of green, refreshing ~
nd their weary feet. Confding love, gene
Or. rous friendship, disinterested humanity
nd require no reconcile learning, nohigh i'm
lie. agiuation, to enable an honest heart 10
He apureciate and feel them.-TdHonrd.