The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-11-23
The PhOnOxrapln.

The telphone was justly regarded as
an ingenious invention when It was first
brought before the public, but it is
destined to be entirely eclipsed by the
new invention of the photograph.
The former transmitted sound. The
latter bottles It up for future use. The
telephone can furnish us with Tai
IMAGES sermons drawn directly from
wood, so to speak; but, with the aid
of the monograph, the same sermons
can be stored away in the cellar, TO be
brought out years hence with their
tones unimpaired by age, and their
ioudest yells "a piercing and persuasive
as ever. It may seem improbable that
a hundred years hence people will be
able TO hear the voice of Wendell Phil
lips in the ac5 of delivering an grafton,
but the photograph will render it pos
slble TO preserve for any length Of time
the words and tones of any orator. It
ID unnecessary to explain the mechani-
cal construction of the photograph,
but IL may be said on general terms
that II an orator empties his voice into
the hopper of photograph, it will re-
main silent until some one sets a SINH
lar machine In motion, when the voice
will instantly make itself audible, and
will repeat In exact order the words of
its former proprietor.
It Is evident that this invention will
lead to important changes in our social
customs. The lecturer will no longer
require bis audience to meet him in u
public hall, but will sell his lectures In
quart bottles, at fifty cents each; and
the politician, instead of howliHg him
self hoarse on the platform, will have
pint Of his best speech put intO the
hands of each one of his constituents.
A large business will, of course, be
done In bottled sermons, and many
weak congregations which are unable
10 pay q regular Pastor will content
themselves with publicly opening a
bottle of "Dr. Tyng,".'Dr. Crosby" or
some other popular ministerial brand,
but the practice of personal preaching
Will be continued, since in no ether
way can q weekly opportunity be af-
forded to ladies tor mutual bonnet in
spection.
Another result will doubtless be a
large consumption of orators at public
dinners and In the home circle.
Whether q man has or has not wine
cellar, he will certainly, II he wishes
to be regarded as a man of taste, haYe
q well-stocked oratorical cellar. In
stocking his cellar, he will lay in sew
eral dozen of "Bob Ingersoll," or of
"Senator Conkling," especially the cell
ebrated Rochester vintage OF the latter
for the use Of those OF his political
friends who require strong stimulants.
AS q pleasant and palatable table ora
tor, he will select dry "Mark Twain,''
or possibly "Beecher," although the
latter has rather too much body.
Sparkling Cox" and "Effervescing
Rockingham" woald be appropriate
for evening parties, and "George Will
liam Curtis" would unquesLIonably be
be very popular as q sweet and not too
stimulating cordial The connOisseur
of orators will become In time as great
a bore as the connoisseur OF wines. He
will be constantly saying to his guests
"Try little Of that 'Annu Dickinson
l fancy you will admit that IL Is very
nice, though, perhaps little too dry
for an uneducated taste. It cost me
$4S dozen, and Is far superior TO any
Gail Hamilton now In the market"
or, "I want you to give me your hon.
est opinion of that "Evarts" I got q
dozen OF 1t at q bargain the other day,
and flatter myself that IL IL the gen.
uine thing" The medical profession
will prescribe orations instead of alco-
holIc stimulants, and persons suffering
from physical weakness will be told to
take half q bottle of this or that orator
at dinner, and q wine-glassful of "Ben.
Butler" before going to bed. The use
of bottled orators will, OF course, be
carried to excess by weak minded and
vicious persons, and iE Is sad to think
TO what wrecks men and women will
reduce themselves by consuming, say
three or four bottles of GHolland'' or
''Talmage" daily. This, in its turn,
will lead to the formation of temper
ance societies, the aim OF which will
be to pass q prohibitory law fOrbidding
the sale Of all varieties OF bottled ora
tors, and making no distinction be-
tween the pernicious "Citizen Swim
ton" and the mild and innocuOus
"Heyes." Whether bottled OratIons can
be adulterated by uDprincipled dealers
remains to be seen, but we may be sure
that, Ii adulteration Is practicable, ie
will be as difficult TO buy dozen of
any pure native or foreign orator as 1t
it is TO buy any pure champagne or
madeira.
There is good reason to believe that
IL the photograph proves to be what
its inventor claims that It is, both
bOok-making and reading will fall into
<llsuse. Why should we print speech
when IL can be bottled, and why
should we learn TO read when, II some
skillful eiocurionist merely repeats one
Oi "George Elliott's" novels aloud In
the presence of a photograph, we can
subsequently listen to it without the
slightest trouble? We shall be able 10
buy Dickens and Thackery by the
6otlle or by the dozen, and rural TAM
lilies can lay in hogshead of "'Timo-
thy Titcomb' every fall for consump-
ton during the winter. Instead of
aibralries filled with combusCible books
we shall have vast storehouses of bot
tied authors, and though students In
In college may be required to learn the
use Of books, just as they now learn