The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-04-19
PENCIL AND SCISSORS,
ETHoD is the hinge of business.

METHOD is the hinge of business.
Joy is like the ague; one good day
between two bad ones.
PRAYERS and provender never hind
cred any mans journey.
A THIRD party is often used in the be-
ginning of a love idyl.
IT is no longer the bully boy with the
glass eye, but the bovine gentleman with
the crockery optic.
BLUE glass is said to be a sure pre-
ventive of hydrophobia. 1t is given in
semi-pulverized form several days in ad-
vance of any indication of the disease.
THERE are moments when the two
worlds, the earthly and the spiritual,
sweep by near to each other, and when
earthly day and heavenly night touch
each other in twilight.
CLEVELAND Leader: Chamberlain,
the Washington gambler, can pay his
creditors only one cent on the dollar.
They should accept it with resignation,
and softly whistle the Ninety and Nine.
"PIETY," remarked an Arkansas
preacher to his congregation the other
day, "does not consist in noise. The
Lord can see you give to the needy just
as easily as he can hear you pray the roof
off,"
WE learn from the Christian Register
that Rev. Mr.. Tippler has published
volume of sermons marked by great
temperance of language" Probably,
then, he is a reformed tippler, says the
Neao Age.
The Burlington HaWk- Eye says:
When death enters town that has vac
cinated all its windows with blue-glass, he
grimly shakes his head, and goes around
and tries to sell his sickle to the agricul-
tural implement man.
ONE of the arguments used against
the passage of the women suffrage bill in
Massachusetts, was that the ballot would
do women no good, because none of
them would admit that they were old
enough to vote until they were too old
to take any interest in politics.
LIFE has burden for every ones shoulder
None may escape from its trouble and care;
Miss ii in youth and twill come when we're older,
And fit us as close as the garments we wear.
| Sorrow comes into our lives unlimited,
Robbing our hearts of its treasure of song;
Lovers grow cold and friendships sighted,
| Yet somehow or other we worry along.
Rev. WILLIAM GUTHRIE BARNES, of
Brooklyn, New York. has just returned
from camping out in Florida. He left
his gun in the bed of the Withlacooches
River, and had not time to pick it up, as
two alligators were smiling at him as he
crawled up the bank.
THE countryman who steps off car
platforms while the train is running at
full speed has turned up again-this time
at Slaughtersville, Tennessee. When
found he was alive and talkative, but had
a wrist and leg broken, his hip knocked
out of place, and the back of his head
badly bruised.
A VIRGINIA hunter says that he saw
about seven hundred thousand ducks
settle on a pond. They were wedged
closely together. He fired both barrels
of his gun into them. They flew away,
leaving no dead ones in the water, but as
soon as the flock spread out a little, dead
ducks fell until he picked up enough to
fill twenty-nine barrels.
"WHAT harm is there in pipe ?" says
young Putfwell. "None that l know
replied his companion, except smoking
induces drinking-drinking induces in.
Observation-Disclosures induces bile
bile induces dyspepsia-dyspepsia in
duces pulmonary consumption - pull
monary consumption induces death. Put
that in your pipe and smoke it.''
SOME suppose that every learned maj
is an educated man. No such thing. Tha
man is educated who knows himself
and takes accurate common sense view:
of men and things around him. Some
very learned men are the greatest fool
, in the world; the reason is they are no
} educated men. Learning is only thu
means, not the end its value consists il
giving the means of acquiring, the us
: of which, properly managed enlighten
the mind.