The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1877-09-19

/ it one day, when we had wltermelons,
cold as ice, from the bottom of his well
and when he was in the old Congress, and
10 expectation 10 ever be the Confederate
! vice president. He was in it, there was
| the way he knew it so well. Said he
Did / ever tell it to you" Said | 81
| will Just take half of that big rattlesnake
one you have just cut, for like to take a
/ spoon and eat the red meat and Juice like
cream from a bowl Thank YOU. Now
/ let's have the story" He said: g DIR.
| Sam was unlucky, and had attended Pc
ter Beazley's wife with his usual success.
that is, there had been funeral. The
doctor waited year for his bill to be
paid, and then sued for it. General
| Toombs, who used to be United States
| Senator, and who has since been JEFF
| Davis's Secretary of State, and, lately
| head of the Georgia Convention, tt at
repudiated the notorious Bullock bonds
he was on the circuit, and always as ready
to take FIVE dollar fee for hog case as to
20 into a chancerv case for a million. He
took the doctors bill to collect. Beaz-
ley wanted the next greatest man III
Georgia, so he took me" said Aleck,
modestly Just So, | said, taking a
drink of watermelon juice from the rind.
A. II. Stephens continued 1t was a
mighty plain case--the doctor just showed
his diploma, proved by by the defendant
that he had made the visits, and by other
doctors that his charges were moderate,
and rested his case there, as made out,
Bob Toombs made no speech-it was no
use for it was as plain as day. But Beaz-
ley said his lawyer must speak to his case.
He said there was nothing to speak about,
as the doctor had proved capacity, service
and value. Said Beazley: / hired you
to speak to it, and [ want you to-
replied said Stephens, speak to the
Jury yourself, if you think speech can
be made I WILL said Beazley, If
Bobby Toombs won't be too hard on me.
General ToombS promised, and Beaz
ley began as follows: Gentlemen of the
Jury, you and l is plain farmers, and if
we farmers don't stick together these law
yers and doctors and preachers and pro-
fessionals will get the advantage of us
an keep it This was a good start for
rural court and jury. He proceeded !:
Now, gentlemen of the jury, / don't
deny as my wife was sick, and | dom
deny as | hired this Sam Rallston to doc
tor her, and | don't deny as he attended
her and Civ her a lot of drug stuff, and |
don't deny as be killed her also |
didn't shouted the doctor. Did you
cure her.? asked Mr. Beazley, very slowly
and sadly. 'N-no--not exactly said
the doctor she died She died, re-
peated Beazley. Yes, we agree on that
point l could have proved it if you had
disputed it, and | told Aleck Stephens to
put in the cost of coffin and grave stone
as offset to your drug bill, but he said he
couldn't, and he is a lawyer and amt,
gentlemen. But, gentlemen, | had my
own cousin once doctor, who could put
stuff inter your teeth to make 'um ache
like sixty and then pull 'um for you and
charge for both jobs handsome, and he
was doctor, if he was Beazeley and
here is Doctor Durham is a doctor that
can bile up pine roots, and yaller dock,
and cure the chills an measles an hoop
in cough. And you know Of other doc
tors, gentlemen Of the jury, and they amt
like vermifuge, warranted to kill, and
they amt engaged on no contract to keep
undertakes busy. But this Doctor Sam
Rallston; as he calls hisself, he amt no
doctor at all. Ask my patients if
amt a DOCTOR screamed the plaintiff
Mr.. Beazley looked at him in the utter
most establishment, and then at the jury,
and slowly said Did you hear that,
gentlemen he said. Ask my patients !!
How am | to do it? The doctor again
put in: Look at my diploma if you
think am not a doctor. And go ask my
| patients = Gentlemen of the jury said
Beazley, that bit of sheepskin didn't
make a doctor, when it was on the sleeps
| back no more do it make doctor now
it's in a mans pocket. Then it's Latin
and how do you know, gentlemen, and
you, too, judge, who are a farmer, but
what it's Jew David's Hebrew plaster
advertisement-it looks like a German
one. Go and ask my patients then,
times he's told me to- said Beazley, so
lemnly, and he looks like he wanted me
to, but / didn't think he was SO hard
hearted as that, for he knows he would
have to wait twelve months to collect his
bill of my executors and administrators.
Why@ demanded DIR. Rallston. why
he asks-why, gentlemen, | would have
to die to find 'um, that's why. Go ask
your patients turning to the plaintiff =
go ask your patients Do you want me
to to the lonely churchyard and the ST
lent tomb, and rap on the grave stones,
and say: You down there, is Sam Rail
ston a DOCTOR Do you want me to &C
and find the Angel Gabriel and get hin
to foot his horn before judgment day, so
l can ask your patients? Do you want
me to die and mix with 'um and say tC
'um as is decayed in flesh and groanin' in
| spirit: I've taken some of Sam Rail-
stons medicine and have come to iine
your company and ask you what you
think of his practice 2 Why, gentlemen
of the jury he says: Go ask my pa
tients'-and they are all dead Where
is James NJ. Webb? He was doctored by
RalIston, and he died. Where is j. n
Reeder? He was doctored by Rallston
and he died. Where is Mr.. Cleveland
Lily? Dead and in her grave. Whert
is Mr.. Asbury's Tom? He is now express
in his opinion of Sam Rallston in glory
Gentlemen, is Gabriel to wake the dead
so that Sam Rallston can collect twenty
three dollars and sixty cents and {
half cents? Gentlemen, | am a plain
farmer, and | amt no learnin', but l hired
Sam Rallston to cure my wife, and ht
didn't; and I asked him before thi
honorable court if he was a chargin' O.
me for KILN of her, an he said he didn't
and | want to know now what he doe
want pay for dom p He sat down, ant
Toombs got up and made speech, bu
it was fat after Beazley's. The jury
found him not guilty and the cour
understood it to mean Don't owe it.
The name of Mollie Maguires come
from Ireland. Some fifty years ago 0
more poor old woman had her hous