Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1877-12-26

Under the Mistletoe.
PrTH AND POINT.
"THIs, Madame . mid thedreszmaker
+" is cut bias" Yes," echoed IN appren
tiee, "by US" She was bounced
A WESTERN editor returned tailor
bill, endorsed, " Declined; handwriting
illegible."
A MoNTREAL minister Il lecturin9 O
can Hour with Burns" Il must s. Z
warming entertainment.
If you don't know there i ice IN the
streets, you'll soon tumble to it.-N r
Herald.
| EUCLID has been translated into Chi
nese. They call geometry "the science Of
the how much"
WHEN . faithful mother goes on =
whaling expedition, she never fails to
get all the blubber she wanta
"WHAT's dollarf" asks the Gyapkic.
It is Just the same a. gratitude; aome-
thing of which We owe moro than W
have.-HaWkeyc.
The old maxim, /" Be chaste and you'll
be happy, is contradicted point blank b
q Black Hills man, who was chased ten
miles by party Of redskins.
SAITH latter telling regular one")
I assure you, Jones, Il I hadn't ssen
myself wouldn't have believed II
Jones: Ha-h'm-well, you know, i
didn't see it.
A MAN who has been IN inveterate
smoker for twenty years has suddenly
and permanently given up the practice.
He brushed the ashes of his pipe into .
keg of blasting powder.
WHAT is the difference between .
schoolboy studying his lessons and far
mer watching his c0wsf One 10 stock.
ing his mind and the other minding his
stock.
The Baltimore Nescs says that II re-
quires aconsidexah hless akrataGem - Gm1 .
diamond. Yea, bat did you eycr ~ 70
dig q woodchuck out OF side hillf"-
Detroit Free Prcss.
HAPPINESS between husband and wife
can only be secured by that constant ten
derness and care of the parties for each
other which are based upon warm and
demonstrative love.
A STRANGER stopping at one Of the
hotels inquired Of the proprietor what
the people lived ON. We," nid the
proprietor, why we live on oysters and
strangers" ."-New Bedford Aeycswy.
THE sight Of = 10 cents . quart sign
which has blown from the peanut stand
on to pile of patent corsets two doors
below, is one calculated to make the
wayfarer think things have somehow got
a little mixed.-BriagPort N0sdwd.
Now does the foolish man devouf the
cold mince pie before going TO bed, and
before another sun appears y sufpr1sed
to see green turkeys, clothed In yellow
blouses, hitched to . red obnibus.-
Bro0kiyn Je6rsonian.
WE always admire the cheerful and
hopeful spirit of the colored man, Who
when struck by lightning, amply rubbed
the abraded spot of his skull and ~
marked, " Dat makes free times Eve heen
struck; now, shouldn't wopder II It let
me alone"
How often, oh, how often, man with
only one solitary button on shirt and
that one brass pin, looks with devour-
ing envy upon his wife's new seven-bqt-
toned gloves, and wished all tho shif6
in his collection were Just one glove.
There does seem something wrong in this
division of buttons.
EVERY young man who II 70 fat he
can't tie his own necktie, and whese lace
is about O. round ~ large dinner plate,
wears helmet hat, and the burlesque
sits sn the top Of his head like . srape
on an orange. Tho spectacle ct . 1T
man in helmet hat h what makes men
murderer.
A LITTLE boy, with his mother, Was
on visit to friend; and - they wero
about to start homeward, his mother
asked him to kiss their entertainerA He
kissed all but ono little girl Of about he
own age, and when aaked Why e did
not kiss her, hs answered, pCause
mamma, I didn't have 'nOuGh - -
round"
A PExDLEToH (Ky.) lawyera i .ld to
have presented to the courts the hollow
ing afRdavit: ~ do hereby ~ ard Do
here by swar that do not balieve that !
have Z faer and imparceu trile = th0
case now before said charge isaeaanst
me for caring concealed weapons = Wit
Z pistol. Given under ny kand this 10
day of November, 1877.
MlsrREss: Come, Brideet, how
much longer are you going u y a1o9t
filing that pepper-boxf Bridget: II
fresh importation from vhers they do1Pt
use pepper castors). 6huEe mASan,
.r1 S%,se wo.elf can't - how lnn~ 1tslf