The Portland daily press., 1877-11-09
lLondon World,I
Cluh.HOSnitslitiAs.


The enmity clubs provoke in many we'll
meaning but intolerant people chiefly of the
female sex, dates from their first Inauguration,
and grows increasingly bitter with time. When
now and again the aversion comes to head
and finds voice in violent diatribe such as
that which Miss Helen Taylor recently
preached, numbers are only too ready to an
plaud her to the echo and indorse her views
Sharp-toDgued vixens and slatternly wives
seek to evade thus the reprosch of homes made
unendurable by their nsgging or neglect irate
mothers of daughters redundant visit upon
clubs the sins of that determuate celibacy now
prevalent among marrageable young men;
the daughters themselves view them less with
anger than with sorrow, not unmixed with
that iuqui.idveuess which tempted Eve to her
fall; old maids detest them as the proximate
cause OF their slngle-blessedness Bv one and
all OF these clubs are deemau haunts of self-iu-
duIgent luxury, of sybaritism, of wicked ness
even and vice. Yet this is the judgment Of the
exoteric, of outsiders who, having never passed
the portals, can speak only from hearsay, or by
drawing upon an Imagination the more vivid,
the more misleading. As matter of fact
clubs are not invariably abodes of bliss The
bed of roses contains many a crumpled leaf
Ii is not alone the fastidious BON UiUdnt growl-
ing over his havourless dSpic aux trlfes, nor
the querulous hypochondrIac shudderlng at
inhntesimal variations of temperature, who
may complain of the dscomforts and incon.
venieDces of his club. Worries worse than
these attict the general body, annoyances in
evtable to communities and to all who elect to
live gregarious life. CIiquism may enter
like an apple OF discord, and behind il Jealous
les, enmit!es, heart-burnings, follow in troops.
1t may be that the club is dominated by dicta-
toral veterans arrogating to themselves by long
prescription airs of ownership and infallibility,
or yet again tormented by the pertinacious gar
rulity of irrepressible bores. A sharper who
may have been suffered to install himself as
secretary or steward makes havoc with proper
ty and credit, or an incompetent committee
ends its tenure of office by bringing the club
finances to the verge of ruin and collapse.
Occasionally it may happen that some promi-
nent member figures in a cause celebre or trans
crosses the rules of decorum and thus brings
his club into temporary disrepute. Woes and
evils more or less poignant are all of these, yet
they pale in intensity before the misfortune
which overtakes many in the season now fast
drawing to close, when clubs are compelled,
by the necessities of cleaning and repairs, to
shut their doors, and their members become in
turn the guests and hosts of others of their
kind.
The practice of thus exchanging hospitalities
has grown into an almost universal custom
with London clubs. A few only remain in the
proud minority; the ultra-ariStocratic and eX-
elusive, for instance, which think. no doubt,
that the palladium of the ballot-box would be
lost it strange footsteps were suffered to cross
their threshold; the unpopular. again, which
take refuge in studied seclusion from the stig-
ma of seeming to have no friends; last of all
the club-pariahs without recognized position,
and of the lowest caste, unacknowledged and
unable to win welcome anywhere. But in
most oe the old-established houses the annual
arrangement takes effect as matter of course.
The compact is curiously conservative through
out This club invites that and no other; its
guests return the compliment only to their own
particular host. Naturally the leaning of each
is to fellow identical in character and pro-
clivities. The University clubs hobnob to-
gether, the Service clubs also, the literary, the
artistic and the political. The Carlton goes to
its Junior, the Reform takes in the Devonshire,
and he Devonsbire the Reform; the Marib0r-
ougb, of narrow dimensions and presumably
composed of the creme de la creme, admits
only the Guardsmen from over the way. The
large and comparatively Juvenile military
clubs may be liberal minded enough to receive
several sets of homeless conrad es at one aud
the same time; but the aneients of the Senior
adhere rigidly to their habits of segregation, and
recognizing no tie but that of neighborliness,
fraternze only with the Athenaum, boon
appreciated and returned by the SdUans and
dilettante. who are equally intollerant of stran-
gers within their gates. Yet constantly recur-
ling as are these civilties, it is to be feared
they afford little satisfaction to any of the par
ties concerned. These are fayours and benefits
which it is pleasant neither to give nor
to receive. The visitors yearn regretfully for
the haunts left behind, and those upon whom
they intrude dislike the intrusion from th bot
tom of their hearts; and. and although starting,
presumably, with some similarity of calling
and in tastes, the men composing the two lots,
incomers and old residents, continue always
separate and apart. They are like two streams
which never coalesce and become one. The
difference is as strongly marked as that OF the
turoid torrent flowing into the bright green
sea Clubs have idiosyncrasies and special
character, tics which make their mark indel-
blv on thar members. To the same end con-
tribnte many cns, nms and superstitions which
the Initiated reyerenl,v worship and obey, but
which strangers ignore O.. csnnoe understand.
ln one club it is the fashion !" nang up que
hat in the hall; in another, to " ear IL All over
the house and at dinner to keen IT pnder one'
chair; here shooting-coat is permit, sne.o
the diners appear rehgiously en- grand q N.s &c
tobacco is sometimes relegated to the garre,
sometimes allowed everywhere butin the coffee
room; beer in pewter pots would be rank heresy
in this house; to read book at table considered
extraordinary in that. TriaIng points of eti-
quette though they be, these immaterial dis
unctions tend to keep the gulf open, or make
it more wlde Moreover the aliens, dreading
continually lest they are out of order, will often
feel thoroughly uncomfortable and ill at ease.
AT every moment too and at every corner, they
are unpleasantly reminded that they are not at
home. In the coffee-room they are surrounded
by strange faces. and waited upon by servants
ignorant OF their peculiar ways: the menu is
mystery to them, and the wine-card like high
Dutch. In the smokiDg-room they cannot
choose cigar without advice, and are all abroad
as to the comparative comfort of arm-chairs.
Morning room and library are bowling will
dernesses where they seek in vain for the books
and newspapers they prefer; they cannot even
attempt to write letters, lest the strange mono
gram and new address should complicste and
confuse their correspondence for months to
come Card.room and billiard-room are not
improbobly taboed, because the. play is too
high or too low, too good or too bad, and the
interloper may be haunted with the notion that
he may win or lose too much. From the mo-
ment they enter till the time they leave, from
their first admission by suspicious porter.
who naturally does not know them by sight,
till their final exodus with umbrellas that are
probably not their own, the ordeal is a penance
which all thankfully see at an end.
Nor is the situation of the hosts without its
thorns. However much they may wish to be
guided by the dictates of good breeding, the
cordality they simulate is but polite endurance
under..a fimsy disguise. To them the whole
affair IS nuisance, more or less intolerable
from first to last. 1t brings crowds to iostls
them and rob them of their favorite seats; it
destroys the snugness of coteries. and paraylz
freedom OF speech, lest from some accidental
expression stranger should take offence. Yet
courtesy seals their lips. They cannot OF
course, and will not, utter word of comDlaint.
| There is no limit to their long-sutfering. Even
| should visitor exceed she privileges of his
| Temporary membership, or so far forget him
| self as to infringe the minute of club-rules,
they,will hold their peace; they will not willing
| ly take action even on the commission of mora
| serious ldches, which have now and again been
| known to occur. Ontwardly nothing can shake
| their uibsnity and gracious condescension,
only in strict privacy, and then by the merest
hints and innuendoes, do they venture to ex-
press their disapprobation and disgust. The
club servants take their cue from their masters
| Well drilled and full of club esprit de corps,
| they seem to throw an extra empresSnleRt into
the service they render, under which only an
| acute observer would detect certain amount OF
kindly encouraging patronage not unmixed
| with contempt But from roof tree to cellar an
| uneasy feeling prevails that for the moment all
| is not well with the club. 1t might be a house
| with the bailiffs in possession, or a Masons'
lodge which has not been efficiently "tiled.