The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-03-31
BUDGET OF FUN.
The First Man.

IL view OF the delay and making themselve
, comfortable as possible in the depot, Ii
alked native. He wasn't native Indian
)r native grizzly, but a native Nevadian
I'd he was ragged out in imperial style. III
ore bearskin coat and cap, buckskin leg
nrs and mocasins, and IN his belt was bi.
life and two revolvers. There was light
ne IN his eye, destruction in his walk, ant
he sauntcred up to the red.tot stove ant
attercy tobaccojuicc over it, dozen pas
myers looked pale with fear Among tn,
,vellers was car painter from Jersey City
ID after surveying the native for moment
coolly inquired:
"Arent you afraid you'll fall down anl
lrt yourself with those weapons?'
"W-what" gasped the native IN astonisk
ent.
II suppose they sell such outfits as you've
4 on at auction out here, don't they!" con
iued the painter
"W-what dye mean--who ar ye:" wills
red the native as he walked around tho
pve and terrible look
My name Is Logwood," was the calm re-
", land l mean that, if | were you, III
lwl out of those old duds, and put on some
cent clothes!"
Don't talk that way to me, or you Won
ea mint" exclaimed The native as he
.rped around. "Why, you home sick coy
!, I'm Grizzly Dan, tie heaviest Indian
hter in the world! l was the first white
IN to scout for Gen. Crook! Twas the first
lite man In the Black Hills! | was the
It white man among the Modocs"
j don't bel!eve'it" tlatly replied the paint
you look more like the first man down
The dinner table,"
The native drew his knife, put 1t back
hin, looked around, and then softly asked
Stranger, will We come over behind the
&c and shoot and slash till this thing is
led:"
You bet l will" replied the man from
gey, as he rose up. Just pace right oul
I'll follow"
very man IN the room jumped 10 his feet
wild excitement. The native started tol
back door, but when he found the car
inter- at his heels, with six-barrcllcd Colt
his hand, he halted and said:
Friend, come 10 think Of it, | don't wan,
ill you and have your widow come on me
damages"
Go right ahcal--l m not q married man!
lied the painter.
But you've got relatives, and don't want
law suits 10 bother me just us spring is
ljng.'
I'm an orphan, without q relative in the
rldw shouted the Jerseyite.
Well, the law will make me bury you, and
,ould be weeks work to dig grave a,
season OF the year. think III break a rib
wo for you, smash your nose, gougc out
r left eye, and let 1t go at that"
That suits me TO dotn' said the painter
.ntlemen, please stand back and some OF
shut the door TO the ladies ROOM"
was the first man to attack Il grizzly
with the bowie knife remarked the ma
as he looked around. II was the first
to discover silver in Nevada. | made
first scout up Powder river, | was the
man TO make hunting-shirts out of the
IS of Pawnce Indians. | don't want IL
this man, as he seems kinder sad and
n-hearted, but he must apologize TO me, -
won't do IT." cried the painter.
gentlemen, l meyer fight without taking
ny coat, and don't see any nail here 10
g it on" said the native.
III hold It'll hold it, shouted Il dozen
tes in chorus.
Md another thing" softly continued The
We. 81 never fight in hot room. used
it years ago, but found it was running
EntO the consumption. ! always do my
ting out doors now"
III go out with you, you old raObitkill-
exclaimed the painter, who had his coat
That another deadly insult, to be wiped
In blood, and | see must finish you.
br fight around depot, though. | 60 out
he prairie. where there is chance TO
W myself"
Where's your prairie, lead the way
led the crowd.
wouldn't do any good replied the ma
as he leaned against the wall. "l always
a ten dollar gold piece III my mouth
(n fight, and I haven't got one to day
bet, Pm dead broke
Iere's gold piece called tall man
ing up the metal.
IN a thousand times obleeged,' mourn
replied the native, shaking his head. 81
Il 90 into fight without putting red
on nv left ear for luck; and | haven I
red paint by me, and there isn't any 10
o."
.re-you-go fight" demanded
car painter, reaching ont for the bear
cap.
took solemn oath when boy never Ia
without painting my lett ear" protested
indian killer you wouldn't want me
b back on my solemn oath, would youE'
Iou're cabbage, a squash, pumpkin
sed up in leggings!" contemptuously
hrked the car painter, as ne put on his
Yes, he's great coward, remarked seve-
others, us they turned away.
II give ten thousand dollars for ten
IS OF red paint" shrieked the native
why is it That | have no paint FOR my
when here is such chance 10 90 in AMI
"
big blacksmith from IlInels took him
he neck and run him out, and he was
no more for an hour. Just before the
started, and all the passengers had taken
the first man" was iseen On the plat
He had another bowie-kniie, and had
nut a tomahawk IN his belt. There was
paint on his left ear, his eyes rolled, and
terrible voice, he called out:
Where is that man Logwoods Let him
e out here and meet his DOOM
that YOU: Count Inc in!' replied The
painter, as he opened window. lie
ed for door, leaped down, and was pull
pft his oyercoat again, when The native
IN to retreat, calling oIt:
In l.; and he hack here III