The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1877-12-13

Two months ago they hung over tho
gate for an hour. Such nights as these
they smack, shiver and away ho goes on
a dog trot.
Tho timo OF year has come when tho
domestic departments Of agricultural pa
pcrs give recipes for. picking strawbcr.
ries and making ice cream.
An English exchange says three viii
be enough chalk taken out Of the Chan.
mel tunnel TO make England independent
Of cows milk Tor centuries.
AT what ago were you marriedT'
asked she. inquiaitivoly. But the lady
was equal 10 the emergency. aud quietly
responded; AT tho paraonagc'
A woman may not be able 10 sharpen
pencil or hold an umbrella, but she
can pack more articles into a trunk than
a man can In a one horse wagon.
II have expressed no contempt Of the
court, said the Hoosier lawyer. when 90
charged. "On the contrary I have care
fully concealed my feelings"
Luke. Is Jim Ahrse honeatY' Dun.
no. Boss. Jim mout be. an den agin
he moutnt But cf ! was q chiokn an
know.d Jim was about ] tell 20 woi. I'd
roost high"
The Chicago Journal knows a thing or
two. IL says: When a man imaginea
he is prophet and a philosopher. he
takes TO long hair and dirty overcoat
They say the Indian name for an edi.
tor j. "Worack.ta che resh be ka-haw."
That's what We always thought Il was II
means tired and hungry" probably.
Many men who have smoked ten cent
cigars every day Of the year. are study.
ing how best they can practice economy
IN the purchase Of Christmas gifts for
their children.
A Carthage younrster played the cor.
net 20 nicely ne TO nearly drive frantic
several matronly cows in the neiehbor.
hood. who thought calf was In afiliction
somewhere.
Faith i sometimes personiacd a. a
drcnchcd female clinginF 10 a aea.washed
rock but better pcraonihcation would
be a bald headed man buying a bottle Of
patent hair rcatorcr.
Speaking Of the Black Hills editors AZ
II a fence rail was Pot up a. a blind. the
editors arc 20 poor that not one Of them
could straddlo H.
Tho japanese have just made the die.
covcry that the frat person born was
woman. Keep still now-they are com.
ing within a hairs breadth Of Susan b.
Anthony
Statistics show that the number Of ga.
ots y increasing; and yet some papers
continue 10 make war on quack doctors.
What i a quack doctor for but 10 kill
of the fools7
The chrome business Il ono that will
never. never die. So long a. one can cot
a fac similo Of $4,000 oil painting for
twenty-five cents, one isn't going 20
throw the chance over his shoulder.
Dave Smith was going down Broadway
with an umbrcllamarked "Stolon from
d. smith There" said a man In front
o. the 81 Nicholas. i always thought
that fellow looked like a thief
: Few judges clerks could say over
The prescribed legal oath slowly aud not
break down. They only learn enough of
i 70 humble out az witnesses about a.
"Jusomysachinhafyoutoltunu
p
A correspondent wants 10 know the
definition Of tho word dealer" and
shethcr u means any person who sells
FOODS No. IL doesn't The dealer is the
me who shuiiics the cards. turns Jack
md plays it alone.
Several exchanges arc giving dirco.
ions How TO dress" The moat sensible
gay ia TO stay IN bed till the Gro i start.
a, and then take your clothes aud trot
'ut TO the dining room stove.
Albany crack rihcmon have organized
rifle club. and went out reccntlyto prac.
ice. DR.. Lansing. one Of the best shots
y the city, shot the marker right through
he heart, killing him instantly. aud that
erminated the sport for that day.
Says the Carthage Republican: "Ncy.
= try TO carry two pumpkins under ono
rm.' better way j. 10 take a poor
ag ono good enough 10 hold two or
hrco pumpkins. but not 90 valuable "a
0 make you unwilling 20 throw Il away
the farmer chascs you.
Bill Shute was a member Of tho Goth.
While the boys crowded around tho old
ag at a recent reunion. Bill. with an
.rcprcasiblo humor. called out Boys.
am no speaker. but there's blamed
.eht more Of you than ever ! saw in
ght' This brought down the house.
Susan n. Anthony. of Rochester. was
rccntly elected constable In Colorado.
he election will be contested on tho
round Of non.rcsidcncc. IL was foolish
D elect her. Unless she has better luck
b the future than In the paat. aho will
OF bo able 10 catch a man ia N years.
A Lowell frm sent lot Of bills West
ir collection. Tho list came back with
ac result marked against each name,
ne being marked dead Three
iouths aitcrward the same bill got into
new lot that was forwarded. and when
hs list came back the name was marked
It'll dead"
isiodlnus nryanti Though 81 s.shty-iauf
hy locks with humufrd yrafs Hru alivrfui o'cr
iay thy ilfe's volume 90 be- closing paHu
.ir thr faii Eiufy uf q Euidrn assiai ioar &c.
This reminds us OF tho cpitaph on tho
iio Mr. Woodcock. which ran.
affsra lita tltr body uf sfF. Wanfban.
The brat of husbands nud kinHrH of men.
y Bills name was Woo lcock, tu.It
fouldn't rhyme"
Mr Bryants ago j. cirhty.lhr e, Tut Il
rhyme either
The other Day New York teamstor
gas brutally beating bay mule with a
i4int brush TAIL when Henry Brrrh,
President a s. r. g. A.. rushed In and
aught the fellows uplifted arm aud
.urd. STAY Hold dr Just then tho
mule who had reserved his Gre until
.ome one came iu range. looked back,
iud fired a ninety four pound hunf, that
II IL 4 = - 4 IL -