Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1877-04-19
GOOD FOR EVIL.

|
the long suffering editor is getting his first
sleep and dreaming that he has scooped all
the other papers on the big Indian battle, the
parrot g yes war WhoOp that makes all the
windows in the ward rattle, and then goes off
in series of shrieks, whistles, and yells
enough to turn the milk sour in Cicero and
set the teeth of all hands on edge The per-
formance lasts till o'clock,' and whenever
it shows any signs of tagging, the clergy
man comes out and with an almond or lump
Of sugar stimulates the bird to new frenzies.
At least, this is how things used to be.
They are changed now. One evening in
June, when the editor went home to dinner,
his wife said:
"George. have some news for you.
"Ah. my love, is it exclusive?"
''Our neighbors are going away to Perry
Springs"
8. l hope they are going to take that parrot
with Them
"No; and what DO you think q: They had
the impudence to come and ask if we would
take care Of the bird for them while they
! were gone
A smile that was horrible to see. illuminated
the editors face, as he Kissed in low, con-
centrated voice:
"My dear, we should try and return good
for evil. will take care of that bird.'
Next day the minister went away, and the
| editor set himself assduously to train the
parrot in the way he should go. lie had
room padded and the walls deadened, and he
hung the cage up in it. Then he went ana
hired two A. d. T. messengers, and bought
a horse syringe and water barrel. and INSTALL
ed the boys in charge of the parrot. . MY
sons,' he said, "iittle parrots that should mt
sing but will sing, must be made not to sing;
| x,,bn hat hirI late
syringe him with ice water. The boys car
ried out the instructions so faithfully, that in
less than week the bird was silent as a
tomb. "Ah" said the editor, 'his mind is
now a tabula rosa, and prepared to receive
proper instruction. He must now be taught,
and first shall attend to his musical educa
ton" Accordingly he hired man from
variety show, on Canal street, to teach that
parrot to whistle all the popular airs of the
day, such as 6 Yum! Yum Yum !" Saw
my leg off," "As was going over the hill
l saw maid milking billy goat!" Then
the vocalist taught that parrot all the cries of
the street peddlers, and how to swear in fine
print without the use of glasses. "Now,
said the editor triumphantly, ''if can teach
him the value of time, shall be we'll repaid. :"
when he offended, and comforting him with
| almonds, he reduced the bird to the status of
| feathered alarm clock, set to 60 with an
unerring regularity at 1880 p. m. andl1O3O
| a. m., and warranted not to run down until
the whole performance had been gone
| through with according to programme. The
parrots education had cost him heap of
money and much trouble, but he did not
regret it.
A week ago yesterday the minister returned
in 7.3O p. m. train, and received his pre-
| vious bird. The editor went home on the
10 30 car, lit his cigar, opened the window,
and with calm smile of expectancy listened.
The clock had just struck 11.30, when there
came yell of = fire." that probably startled
everybody in the block except the editor.
"Lie still, my love, " he said calmly to bis
wife, sit is only the parrot. There is no
danger"
The fearful cry was repeated the editor
heard sounds as if the minister and all his
family were jumping out of bed; then win
dows were opened on all sides, and he had
the pleasure of seeing the man who kept the
key of the signal box (and wasn't insured)
tear along the street in his slippers and turn
on the alarm. A few moments afterwards
the fire bells rang, and the engines came tear.
ing up to the house whence shouts of 6 Fire!'
were issuing. The minister had to 60 down
and explain, and one of the drivers remarked
audibly, that he'd punch the old snoozers
head off for nickel. Meanwhile the parrot
kept on yelling Police!" 'Fire!" "Ripe
peaches! fifteen cents peck!" "Stror!"
"Appools!" and the like, till about 2.15 a.
m. the editor, with smile, fell asleep,
leaving word to call him at 10.
1t was the blessed Sabbath-a bright sun
ny morning. The street was crowded with
church-goers. A number of deacons had
called to welcome their pastor home and con
duct him to church. The parrot had been
doing on his perch in the sun but as the
church bells, one after another, began to
chime, he began to get excited. Presently
the 10 30 bell struck his first note, and,
punctual to the second, the minister, his fam
lily, and friends appeared on the piazza.
Punctual to the second, also, the parrot
above them yawned, scratched his ear and
remarked, 90, Erebus!" Gle said it in
English.) General attention was at once
riveted, and he continued in honeyed tone,
Hovs Elizabeth 2" then burst into clear
melodious whistle, Yum! Yum! Yum!'
then exhorted everybody in his hearing (call-
ing them set Of, to go---and
be----!" An immense sensation was
peated, and the police came up and said the
minister must stop the bird, and not create
public nuisance, or he'd have to come along.
Finally, the minister got the bird into the
wood-shed and put lot of old carpets over
him: but his hair had nearly turned gray,
and after terrible day and night, he went to
a newspaper Office and inserted the follow