Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1877-03-29

round keyed melodeon back and
forth on his knees and singing
Oh, how happy is the man who has chosen
VISIONS ways.
And measured out his span with the partner of
his days
With his God and his Bible he knows he's not
alone,
His declining days are sweeter, yea, than hon.
ey in the comb.
About this time one of the atten-
tive listeners might have been seen
tucking small package under the
end of o settee, and Whispering:
sTherel The darn stuff's out of
sight now, anyhow, and there it'll
stay for all me 7
Arriving 10 Rochester, Mr.. FL. med
itated till every body had left the
boat, then he took up the box, then
he put it down again; then be shook
his fist at it-then be picked it up
and followed bis wife to the cars, in
which they were soon seated, the
satchel slowed away under their
feet, and the honey put up in the
rack.
Mr. II. resigned himself to read
ing the 'Reveries of Bachelor and
Mrs. III. to the sweet dreams Of her
friends in Boston and the exquisite
pleasure it would give her TO present
the nice little box of honey from
their own hive among the clover
blossoms
What is that p exclaimed Mira. III.
starting up with surprise, as she
heard something drop down among
the rose buds on her bonnet, and
looking up saw another pearly PEN
dant about to decend on the same
spot Good Lord What nave you
been doing? My hat is rained ]
Hereupon Mr. II. seeing his oppor-
tunity to rid himself of the incubus,
he seized the obnoxious sweetening
and was about to hurl it from the
car window, when q passenger came
to the rescue with sympathy and
newspapers. The box was thorough
ly 'dono up Mr.. III. was reluctantly
impressed to rest it upon bis knees
until their arrival in Utica, whom,
placing it again in The rack, they
took up their satchel and passed out
for refreshments.
sWe'll go to Bagg's hotel and get
good dinner for fifty CENTS said
Mr.. FL.
mo, I don't give fifty cents for
dinner when | can get as good as ]
want for twenty five CENTS said
Mrs. H., pointing to placard that
dangled on a string from the window
of restaurant. That's the way with
you men-always squandering your
money, while your poor wives have
to stay at home and Drudge from
morning till night
THAT settles it, said Mr.. H., swing
ing his hand savagely at mistleton of
flies as he took chair opposite his
beloved in one of the side stalls in the
eating house
Pork and beans-roast beef-mut-
ton stew ? said the waiter, knocking
over a vinegar cruet in a spasmodic
slap at the flies.
Pork and beans, or anything said
Mrs. I'll losing her bonnet strings
'and please hurry for we left box of
honey on the cars and we should be
in an awful bad
Stew of course said Mr.. Ii. to
the waiter, who stood with slimpsy
napkin thrown over his shoulders and
balancing himself with both hands on
the back of his chair.
sWhew I'm glad I'm out of that
dirty hole. | didn't enjoy my dinner
bit. / knew / shouldn't, for | was
thinking all the time about the hon
ey,' said Mrs. H., as they were about
taking their seats in the car.
And where is the honey?' said Mr..
H., looking up to the rack.
Gone! sure as Pm alive 7 gasped
Mrs. H., falling back in her seat
Somebody's stolen it. Where's the
conductor p
whats the matter p said the con-
ductor, stepping forward.
matter !? Where's our honey? We
left it up there in the rack while we
went out to dinner. We're taking
that honey to our friends in Boston,
and you'd better find it or there'll be
trouble
We'll I'm very sorry, indeed said
the conductor, 'but the fact is, the
car you came in was switched off at
Utica. The best you can do now is
to telegraph back to Albany, and have
it forwarded to Boston by express
4 told you just how it would be if
You left it in that rack-alf your own
carelessness. And there's my bon
| nett Oh, it's enough to provoke a
saint Then relapsing into that peace
ful Inconsistencies that follows men,
tai exhaustion, she remained undis-
turbed until their arrival in Albany,
| when MIR. H. rushed in great haste to
the telegraph office, and after caution
ing the operator against making any
mistakes he dictated the following
message:
well, you see, my wife and | we
started for Brockport to go down to
Boston with box of honey to give
to our friends there, for my wife says
they don't have any such honey; be-
sides she wants to make them a pres
ent, so she thought we'd better take
a box. did my best not to have
her take it, for | knew it would make
| us more trouble and expense than it
was worth but she's bound to have
her own way, so for the sake of peace
I Just brought it along, and it was
left in the car that was switched off
at Utica, and we want to have it sent
right oat to Poston by express.
sAll right said the operator, your
message has gone forward just as you
stated it { figuring up the billy - fifty
cent for the first ten words, and three
cents for each additional word, is
$780, said the operator, leaning his
chin unon his hands and looking