The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1877-04-27

"A paper in England called the
Truthteller, has been sued for lying.
"A fashion reporter says: vRed
shawlsare to take theprecedence thissea-
son. We wonder what will be. tho first
thing after them % We think it WILDE
the young men.
Dear mep exclaimed a rheumatic
old man, annoyed by an untimely snow
storm. "Ihope that when I dierTIi 60.
we there'n be no snow.' "Well, Il
pr P,esuss ae you willS quietly responded
n ~. - ,ha I,Ol>S.s rs jury in Arkansas found
Ala hw h;s I'D, who was bachelor.
- ~ n,S hand, Le,ag moved
thereto by the : sco'e that his hair bss
grown 50 thin that he he-.,Id - a., ,on~s. Ia.
hold pen behind his earHs1 ny ionser
.."Do you see that man o>S -.
said tall vermonter to a stsss stsssess
H He is the best specimen of the 'survivst
of the fittest' on all this earth, cause,
you see, he's had more fits than.any other
man, and yet survives"
"A Spaniard and an American wera
recently dining together in New Orleans
The former in passing dish of brains to
the latter said, "What you lack" Tho
American, offering the Spaniard a plata
of tongue, answered, What you have
surplus of"
10 Is your master at home2" said a
caller to the servant who came 70 tho
door. "No, he's out" els your mis-
tress inT' "No, sEe's out" Very
we'll; I'll just step in and warm myself
by the tlre.p " The hre's out too II you
please, sn. F .'.--..'..-
AN aged man said eff husbands
only had any sense, they'd never havs
any trouble with disobedient wives.
did, an I've been married nigh on TO
fifty years" What is your secret %
asked friend. "Why, always tell
my wife to do just as she pleases, an she
never fails to do il"
-" You see, you young folks, said old
Uncle Jebus, just you hearken to me
and listen good. Marriage begins with
courting and sometimes ends with court
ing; the first being proceedings in court
ship and ending with the parson, and
the second being proceedings in the
courthouse and ending with the sheriff"
An old bachelor was courting a
widow, and both sought the aid Of art TO
give their fading hair a darker shade.
That's going TO be an afectionats
couple" said a wag. How 50 20 asked
friend. "Why, don't you see that
they are dye-ing for each other already2D
was the reply.
Tiddy Lavender Weally, now,
! dadn't | bettaw-haw-see you 'cwoss
the common No? You're not afwaid
of donkeys?' Lady friend Thanks,
no, not at all 4; though of course I'm
quite too awfully glad to get rid Of
them" Tiddy, (twenty minutes after
refection): Now-haw-what the
dooce did she mean by that ?"
She was fond of conundrums, and
when she learned that muller was Latin
for woman, she thought she had a good
one. SO she asked her husband what
was the difference between herself and
mule. And, as he had been married
several years, he was too thoughtful
trouble her by guessing, but kindly re-
marked that he had never been able 10
see any.
"A commercial traveller, by mistake,
handed merchant, upon whom he had
called, portrait of his betrothed instead
of his business card, saying that he repre-
sented that establishment. The mer-
chant examined it carefully, remarked
that it was fine establishment, and re-
turned it to the astonished and blushing
traveller, saying: I" hope that you will
soon be admitted into partnership"
The course Of none has been along
so beaten a road that they remember not
fondly some resting places in their jour
neys, some turns in their paths which
lovely prospects broke in upon them,
some soft plats Of green, refreshing to
their weary feet. Confding love, gene-
rous friendship, disinterested humanity,
require no recondite learning, no high inn
agination, to enable an honest heart TO
appreciate and feel them.-7dJoHrd.