The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1877-04-13


Some one up in Saginaw sent down
TO Bi;ah currycomb, labeled: g The
Telephone" He received it from ths
expressman, looked it all over and
unused:
SO that's = telephone, Is it' Well,
l never dreamed that the day wouhi
come when mar would hold one OF
these in MS hand and talk to horse
500 miles away II l had more time
I'D take more interest in science, but
it's scrub, scrub, dig, dig, dust cut and
bring in, and II ever get time 10 pare
my corns, there's sure 70 be an alarm OF
tire TO run me six blocks. III gently
lay this away among the arrives till l
get time to wind it up and hear the
music"
He pulled up his standing-collar,
smoothed down the back OF his head,
and went into the corridor singing:
seem q near the robbins sing.
seem 70 hear the hue birds note.
seem 70 think we're having spring
And l seem 20 Be goat.
HUMPTT JUNPTT.
Dennis Cochrane might have been q
nice young man with shiny boots,
glazed shirt-front and luxuriant hair,
but he wasn't His hair was cut close
and without regard to style. His boots
were red and full Of chasms and CULTS,
and over and around him was general
desolate air that caused his honor to
remark:
"You seem to have gone to tie
bad, Dennis ~
"I-I think l need dose OF qainine, ("
whispered the prisoner.
s'No doubt-no doubt. You were
roaring drunk, and after striking 81
loon-deeper you jumped through .
window never 60 out doors BY war
Of the window
You never had . man after you
with an old saber, either,- remarked
Dennis
"Oh. suppose il was glorious old
row, full Of hard names, bloody threats
and smashed furniture, and I suppose
you now wish you had kept out Of il. !"
Eyes, sir, do"
"You somewhat resemble the picture
Of Benjamin Franklin continued his
Honor, but while he drew lightning
from the clouds you drew it from 3
tumbler. While he received the plaud-
its Of his fellow men, you will 90 up for
ninety days and peg shoes Or paint
chairs
IL don't know Mr.. Franklin, and I
want to 60 right to work this morning.
I struck job yesterday"
"A job Of killing timer"
NO, sir; I'm going to work in
saw-miIl.r
"Worse yet, Dennis. The lumber
market Is overlooked, the demand
light, and there never has been time
when man could sit down and whittle
up bunch Of shingles at less cost than
now. You'll have to 90 up.''
"Can 1 have time to borrow dollar
Of some oner'
"Lots Of time. Sit down In the COR
rider, till the finance clerk comes in.
Biiah will post you a. TO the current
rate OF interest y
PLAIN TALE.
"What shall say remarked James
Plunder - he faced the desk, twill be
the bare truth
"Truth without any clothes ONO
ahead" replied the Court.
~ am a widower,r continued the
prisoner, land my sister keeps house
FOR me- She's IN old maid, has lots II
whims and notions, and when she gets
her mind set on any thing she's as mean
~ pizen
so far 50 good, (" observed the court,
~ the prisoner stopped his story To
clear bis throat.
"Well, sir, she got crazy over the
blue-glass business. She Is lame and
cross-eyed, got liver-complaint, bad
cough and stiff knee, and she believed
that blue glass would cure every thing.
,ne wanted me 10 invest in il, and be-
'ause wouldt she got mad and stayed
mad
ANY particular symptomsPr softly
asked his Honor.
"Lots Of EN-, sir. She struck for
i've dollars per week wages, and then
struck me because | would't pay Il.
she refused to cook any thing, wouldn't
make the beds, and / was much put
yut.r
"And then she was more pus.out, I
understandPr
Yes, sir-T put her right out DOORS
Right out into the cold world, with