Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-03-21
Slander and Pistols,
BY sYLvANUs COBB, JR.

Not q thousand miles from the place
where l o1ce lived, q man named
But never mind, I will call him Slap
stone. His given name, however, was
Jedediah. He was half farmer and
half shoemaker. He owned quite
respectable farm, which he carried on
after s. fashion, and he also had a
small apartment in on corner of his
shed, where he used to mend shoes, and
boots, and old harnesses, for his neigh
bors, generally taking his pay in work;
so that he managed to get most of his
farm work done in return for cObbling
"a thing which suited him much,
seeing that he was far from being fond
of physical labor, and especially of the
exposure and drudgery of the farm.
Next to absolute laziness stood Jed's
slandering propensities. He knew the
affairs of all his neighbors; but had he
contented himself with merely recount
ing what he knew, people about him
would have been better off; for he had
a peculiar faculty of manufacturing
4" incidents in real life" and these he
retailed, ad Ill.,, over his bench. And
these affairs were not always innocent;
but, on the contrary, much misery Of
ten resulted from his false reports.
No one supposed that Jed ever enter
tanned any real malignant feelings, but
he Gid take pleasure III knowing that
he had set some old friends " by the
ears" as he called it; and at length his
ISLANDERS became so frequent and so
utterly devoid OF truth, that people be-
gan to think of devising ways and
means of being rid for him.
One rainy afternoon, some half
dozen neighbors had collected in Jed's
shop, and the conversation CHANGED to
turn upon q new conner into the town
"a Captain Joseph Anterior, who had
spent the most Of his life at sea, and
had now come to settle down upon a
farm, to spend the remainder of bis
days In peace and quiet.
-, yes-ya-Gs- s'pose so," growled
Jed, as some remark was make touch
ing the captains wealth. "He's rich
enough, I'll warrant We; but that don't
make any need that he should put on
such airs. He needn't think that be-
cause he's got a few thousand dollars
moren the rest of us, that he ken lord
raound jest as he's mind to-"
why, Jed, you don't know the man
if you think he'd try to lord it over
anybody" said an old man by the
name of Stewart, who was present.
d" I've knowed Joe Anterior ever since
he was boy, and he never showed any
such disposition"
"Have ye knowed him for the last
fve-an'-tWenty year?" asked Jed with
q wink.
"Well, can't say as I have during
tn at time, for he's been off, We know"
Yes-ya-as," uttered Jed, bringing
his hammer down upon a peg with
sudden vehemence; "that's the thing.
Let me tell We as how't them last five
an'-twenty years have put new kink
into him. He's mighty stiff and crank
now, but reckon [ could bring him
down peg or two"
"Stif and crank, jedi"
"Yss-ya-as. Didn't he fairly insult
me last Saturday night, down to the
store?" said Jed.
"How was it?" quickly asked all but
old Stewart.
"Why, I'll tell ye," answered Jed,
laying down his awl, and turning the
O40 shoo NC Woo pcSSuS Will o. JoIh.
" Ye see, Joe Atherton was in the store,
and he'd jest been buyin' some 'lasses,
an merely made the remark at l
sposed he been where they made
'lasses. He said he had; but We ought
to ave seen what q mighty high look
he gave me-"
"And why shouldn't he?" interrupt
ed Stewart. "He never saw We afore,
an the store was nalf full of folks; an
the familiar sort of way ye put on,
an the way We put yer face close up to
his, didn't please him.
% Didn't it," cried Jed.
,ll9 l.i4.-