Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1877-07-23
A STARTLING CONSPIRACY.
The Tramps of America to Assemble In
National Convention and Place
Themselves Under Govern
ment Protection.

The following, taken from a letter written
to the Chicago Inter Ocean by a picnicker
who is camping out in the woods above
Rock Island, is good:
Here in the woods we have picked up a
genius. He promises the nation infinite
trouble, l feel it to be my duty to sound
the alarm. He hailed us this morning from
the Iowa side. A canoe vent over and
brought him to camp
"Who are you fellers ?" he inquired in a
concilia.ing tone, finding US Strengthening a
breakfast.
eve are Spartans, sir" our leader an
swered. I'VE scorn money. We devote
our lives to cultivating our muscle and loaf
ing around. We dine at public tables. We
consider any kind of useful labor dishonor-
able in the highest degree"
"Give me your hand, pard !" he exclaimed
with fervor. "Them's my sentiments exact.
ly. Work and hain't never agreed. Dvs
see that ere carpet bag? There nothing in
it, is there? My stomach's likewise empty.
Been that way forty-eight hours. You
wouldn't mind giyin' a stranger a bite,
reckon?"
you're a tramp Sniff exclaimed, scorn-
fully.
"Not much, I amt. Pm a Spartan. Look
at me
"He'll make a good Helot," Jones sug.
gested, and 80 we fed him, and put him ia
holding fish-poles. and doing other servere
manual labor. He was a power in the land
when the beer feet from Davenport reached
us, and yet he never drinks himself. Oh, no
Perish the thought!
He has a great scheme under way. He
belongs to a powerful secret society. He's
the high Tankyan Of the Eminent Itinerant
Lunch Fiends of Columbia. '"They calls us
tramps," he says mournfully, "but they dom,
know us. We're getting ready to shake the
land. You hear me-"
His plan is a startling one. A national
convention of tramps is to be held at Omahs
in September. Delegates from every state
in the union are to be present. Over 5000
of the Eminent Itinerants will rally around
their chieftains. All the hardware stores il
the city are to be plundered of shotguns
rifles, revolvers, hatchets, and butcher
knives. Five thousand horses are to be con.
fscated along the border. Travel on the
Union Pacific railroad is to be obstructec
till the company comes down with carload:
of money. Then the Eminent Itinerants
will retire to the desert and take unto them
selves wives from among the daughters O
the Sioux. They will issue a secret sum
mons for all their brethren in the land tt
Join them. When their ranks are filled
they will raid the frontier and slaughter ane
scalp the settlers. Then the good men ane
the philanthropists of the nation will rise il
high places and preach the homel,
virtues of the tramp. Congress vii
vote to cut down the army
Peace commissioners will be appointed. A
noble reservation will be donated to the nov
scorned and insulted race the best of Henri,
rifles, with metallic cartridges in abundance
will be supplied them; horses, blankets, tents
and rations likewise; agricultural nipple
ments and industrial machinery of all kind
will also be furnished by the generous-hand
ed government, which articles can readily b.
exchanged for bad whisky at the tradin,
post white women will be captured to wal
on the squaws of the itinerants; the scalps o
white men hat work will hang in thei
peaceful lodges exhilarating horse-stealiny
expeditions will relieve the monotony O
desert life. and all will be ease, happiness an,
abundance. Think of it, ye tramps. Ate
listening with horror to the details of thi
iendish plot. Iresolvedto search the carpet
bag of our dangerous guest at the first conven
lent opportunity, conf lent that document
were concealed therein should be laid befor
President Hayes. l filled the High Tank
yam with fish and potatoes, and h
slumbered in the shade of a mule,
stock, unsecured by the glowing sun. l rem
open his depository of death and treason
His cunning had batled me, however.
found only a chunk of old che csc, and a fine
tooth comb that had never been used. w
shall endeavor to detain him by peaceful art
until the war with the Nez PEI ces is over
and the government can detach a force of it
gallant army for his capture.
NAu ARllYv lAAIr