The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1877-12-22
He Didn't Know Anything About the
Family.

He was new clerk in a Fourth-street
/ book store, several miles behind the
/ times in current literature, but mighty
| good looking, and with smile so full Of
| dimples and strained honey that nc
| young lady could lock into his azure
| eyes without feeling as happy and con
tented as though having her picture
taken in hat with more feathers than
| could be seen at one view.
She was lady who knew how to make
her age mystery. Prim, tidy, well.
! dressed, and with an air of hauteur and
ton about her that would'make man
feel as small and timid as a church
mouse. Her brow was several sizes toe
large to be fashionable, and was trimmed
with lines of thought very becoming in
college professors and chess-players, but
somehow it didn't seem to be quite as
becoming to her as merry wrinkles, and
other feminities scattered broadcast over
her shapely features might have been.
Her voice, too, was surprise to an un-
married man, for though not loud or
harsh in tone, it seemed to shoot through
the head like red-hot wire, and held
everybody at arms length.
Up TO the handsome clerk she marched,
and nearly broke him in two by the sud
denness with which she interrupted his
bow by saying in those indescribable
and unexpected accents:
want That Husband of Mine
The clerk turned so white his collar
looked like ashes, and protested that he
hadn't seen him.
Well, then, I'd like to see THAT
Lover of Mine,'" demanded the lady
with an unlooked-for vehemence that
made the young man think he had n
wasp in his slipper. He covered his
face with an atlas till his bushes went
inside, and then told her with his hand
ON his heart that he was the only I'M
married man in the store.
Stop your nonsense, and bring me
That Girl of Minep" demanded the
lady, impatiently tapping the floor with
her heel, and impaling the poor man
with her eyes.
His own optics enlarged 50 enormously
he couldn't have opened his mouth
without breaking the skin, and it was
fully minute before he could blurt out
that she hadn't been in the establish
ment to his knowledge that day.
Perhaps she'd gone to the Matinee"
he suggested timidly.
His remarks dropped unnoticed. The
customer pounded the counter with her
purse and demanded:
Where's That Awful Boy p"
Indeed | don't know, ma'am. We
sent him out over two hours ago to take
lya IN ctr ht,f he
hasn't shown himself in the store since.
He's lazy, od-for-nothing scamp, and
wouldn't be kept, only his mother is
poor widow and has no other support.
If lie hasn't attended to your books
Well have them set up right away by
an expressman. What address, please ?"
" Never mind. Wrap up My Mother
in-Law' That'll do for to-day"
" Was she an oldish lady, with
gold spectacles? asked the badly puzzled
clerk.
&C don't know. Let me have Helen's
Babies, replied the lady testify.
" | beg pardon, ma'am," replied the
poor clerk, with beads of moisture
gathering on his aching brow; "but
haven't you made mistake and got
into the wrong place? This isn't
founding institute, but first-class
bookstore, and we haven't really got
any of your folks here and we don't
know where they are"
When that new clerk found out the
lady had been inquiring for books all
the time he felt as though he could
crawl into thimble and cover himself
with a three-cent piece. He burns the
oil now getting acquainted
with the store catalogue.