Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-06-20
-PITH AND POINT.

very often sheds muleteer.
MEAN souls, like mean pictures are
often found in good-looking frames
AFTER all that has been said there
has been onl y twenty revolutions in
Mexico within fifty years
IT is said the reason Charles Sumner
was returned to Congress year after year
is to be attributed to the fact that he
never inflicted any patent office or agri-
cultural reports upon his constituents.
The fckleness of the weather makes
a green grocer pause and scratch his head
when he goes out on the sidewalk and
finds ripe strawberries frozen until they
rattle in the box like nuts.-W CSty
Derrick
PROBABLY there are not six hired girls
in the United States who don't know
which are their nights ''out," but the
man isn't born yet who can point to one
who can explain how the nose of wa
ter pitcher got cracked.-Fulton Times.
L don't know what you mean by not
being an Irishman,' said a gentleman
who was about hiring boy, "but you
were born in Ireland" Your honor,
if that's all" said the boy, small blame
to that Suppose your cat was to have
kittens in the oven would they be loaves
of bread?"
A Boston paper dares to print this:
Sir, my ancestors came over in the
Mayfower" was the naughty remark Of
one Boston gentleman to another, during
a rather warm conversation recently.
"That was natural enough" was the re-
sponse; ''there were no extradition laws
in those days"
FANNY DAVENPORT, the actress, has
been visiting BlackwelPs Island to
study misery. The Danbury Neovs re-
marks that if she wants to contemplate
misery in it's highest and broadcast sense
she should watch man pinning four
teen-inch collar on ffteen-inch shirt
band.
A WESTERN editor, in an unguarded
moment, recently wrote: "The good
husband keeps his wife in wholesome ig-
norance of all unnecessary secrets"
The next day his wife laid the rolling
pin down on a table under his nose four
times, and in italicized syllables inquired
what he had been up to now.
THE society editor of the Butler Eagle
reported high-toned wedding, and said
the brides trOusseau was the lOveliest he
ever saw. The printer set it UP trows-
ers," and since that time there have been
two vacancies on the paper in conse-
quence Of two admissions to a hospital.
| RECENTLY an old gent from the city
went out to watch a practical game Of
base ball and sat down on a white clover
/ I,or An
they say that everybody lost all interest
IN the game until the old gentleman got
clear out of sight.-Globe Democrat.
| DURING a review of a Sunday school
lesson on a recent Sunday, the question
was asked: "What became of EliiahY'
and the entire congregation were cleo
trifed by small, shrill voice that piped
out with extreme JUNCTION: "He went
to Heaven like house-a-fre, you betp'
All bets were declared off, and the con-
gregation sung hymn.
A POET sings: "Out in the city, far
away With the Spring to-day! Where
copses tufted with primrose Give me re-
pose," etc. It is a very pretty poem, but
when printer makes one line read
With corpses stuffed with primrose"
he mars the beauty and warps its mean
ing somewhat, and makes the reader
repose where "corpses " are ''stufted
with primrose.
RECENTLY a Burlington boy started
to carry home a yellow Jackets nest to
tie to dogs tail to have some fun. He
didn't get the nest all the way home, as
it became so heavy, but ne succeeded in
coaxing most of the yellow jackets to &C
company him, and they supplied him
with so much amusement he hasn't once
thought of fun or the dog since, and does
not think he ever will.-Haavkeye.
90, cut it short! cut it shortW ex-
claimed the victim of a Fulton street
barber, who, while shaving him, be-
guiled the passing moments with an I'M
interrupted flow of wearisome conversa-
tion "All right, sir" he replied asome
as he resumed the thread of his discourse
the victim groaned in spair.-Brooklyn
argus.
SABBATH-BREAKING was worked out
to fine pont by Scotch landlord whom
Sir Daniel Macnee, the painter, met at a
loch while he was with a fishing party.
They had a ham and wanted 1t cut IN
two. one-half to boil and carry with
them, the rest so "grill y in the inn.
The canny Scot worried because knife
would not cut the bone, and when asked
if he hadn't saw, he replied deprecat-
ingly, cay, but dinna ye ken it's the
Sawbath? I wouldn't like to use saw
on the Sawbath!'
A PROMISING South End youth of five
summers, being about to retire for the
evening, was asked by his mother to
kneel by her side and repeat the Lords
prayer. The little chap, whose mind
was evidently intent on the beauties Of
the national game, having reached the
middle of the prayer paused, looked into
his mother face and exclaimed, I" Billy
Brown is boss short stop, and proceed
ed with his devotions as if nothing un-
usual had transpired.-Boston Journal.