Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1877-06-29
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The Boy IN THE ALLEY.-Ye sterdav
afternoon Brush street housewife logged
a bedstead into the yard, leaned it back
and brought out teakettle of boiling
water. Her sole object was to wash off
the dust and cobwebs which settle on
every bedstead in the land, and she need
not have looked around in sly and
stealthy way before proceeding to bust
ness.
There was boy in the alley. He was
hunting for plumber in pile of rubbish,
and, hearing the women in the yard, he
looked through the fence and began to
chuckle. He knew that her object was to
put the bedstead in tidy trim for the sum-
mer campaign. But yet he maliciously
called out:
''Have the water up to billing pint if you
want to knock 'em.''
The woman put the tea-kettle down in
hurry and looked up at the windows on
either side. No one was visible. but pre-
sently the boy in the alley remarked:
''Don't let the water get cold!"
She located him that time, but she dis
dained to heed his remarks. Lifting up
the kettle again. she began giving the cob
webs another soaking.
''Now follow it Up with kerosene!"
hoarsely exclaimed the boy as she paused
for moment.
Her face darkened, and she looked
anxiously around, and nothing but the
consciousness that everybody has to clean
off the spring cobwebs prevented her from
feeling mad.
I'VE allus use corrosive sublimate to
kill them!" called the boy from the knot
hole.
She went down to that fence and asked
who was there and what he wanted.
Il don't want nauthin," he softly re-
marked, ''only you can't never kill em
with hot water!''
"Can't kill WHAT" she sternly de-
manded.
"Bumble- bees!' he chuckled. "We've
had 'em home ever since was born.''
"Boy. Pm only cleaning the dust off
that bedstead,' she said, as she got closer
to the knot hole.
''You can call it dust, if you want to-,
but [ never saw ma jab at dust with a
sharp stick.''
s'You are mean, impudent boy, and 1
want you to go away at once" she ex-
claimed.
"This alley belongs to the city," he re-
piled, sand L can't go. "Y ou'd better
hurry back, or they'll come tor
She picked up a stick, laid it down after
a moment, and going to the house she
brought out huge piece Of apple-pie.
''Boy, aren't you hungry?'' she asked,
as she reached over the fence.
lyon bet ~
''And if 1 give you this will you 60
away?'
II will that; I'll whoop right out of the
neighborhood in two minutes, and you kin
tack single over this knot-hole.''
sWell, now here it u.s. she said, as she
reached it over.
''And I won't tell no one what saw,
a'am, for We re all liable to find 'em, and
ma says she really believes they're sign
of good luck. Thankee, and if l was you
I'd leave the bedstead outdoors to-nigl
and let her freeze up. Fust-rate pie, and
doi-'t let that water get cold !''-Detroat
Free Press.
He started out in the morning happy
boy. When at dusk he returned with
bloody clothing, broken finger, sprained
ankle and big cut On his lower lip, Lis
fond mother asked him in alarm ''if he had
been through threshing machine or had
been the unfortunate victim of a railroad
smash-up." Neither, mother" replied
the youth, and then triumphantly, ''Nel er
mind me, ma. 1 have only been playing
base ball. Our side, the Lilies, waxed the
No Names beautifully; score Is TO 81 and
then he sank into,a confused heap on the
parlor carpet; revived little, lifted up his
head, muttered, Jim, put that to first.
and be laundering quick about it," then
gasped and expired. .
''The way it ISL said little Johnny, de.
scribing rattle at church fair, "you See
somethin', and you give a half dollar for
chance to win it; another fellow always
gets it, and they never offer you your mon
ey back
1t is when a man is carrying pound of
honey on one arm, a bag of eggs on the other
and leading bull dog by string and at
tempts to brush fly off his ear, that he
feels no man can be an expert at all things
"Ah," he said, "another circus in town;
see the white tent in the distance" He
was short-sighted, however, and it proved
to be nothing but a fashionable young man
wearing one of the present style of collars.
A man never gets very adequate idea of
the length of eternity, nor how people will
manage to kill time during the endless cy-
Giles, until he watches boy wedding the
garden when he wants to 60 fishing.
Girls have their sorrows and their trou-
bles, but nothing is more humiliating to
the average young lady than to be beaten
at game of croquet by a girl who still
wears her last years dress.
Bashful Youth is informed that the
"bangs'' of the ladies about which he hears
SO much are not caused by the explosion
of the powder upon their faces.
drunkard rejoice? Because her husband
doesn't liquor any more. (Send stamp for
further information.)