The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1877-08-03
PITH AND POINT.

III III AMI IOANis
THE center of gravity-An undertake
er's nose.
GEN. HEDEMoFF would be a useful
man in Armenia now.
EXERCISE in moral comparison-Get
on; get honor; get honest.
Docs are faithful they win stick to a
bone after everybody has deserted it,
The Chinese adieu is " Chin-chin,"
and so is a good share of the American
ado.
The man who wrote of experiences
sweet as a morning dream slept inside
of fly or mosquito net.
IT is supposed that Kosciusko fell on
Freedom, or else why did Freedom
shrek when Kosciusko fell?
Coop partners at cards-A chimney
sweep and a bugler. One can follow
SCOT, and the other trumpet.
A LITTLE girl was suffering from the
humps, and declared that she ''felt as
though headache had slipped down
into her neck"
JoHNNIE's big sister doesn't part her
hair in the middle, because of cow
lick, and Johnnie asked "What makes
your hair squint9"
"WHAr's fellow to do, Doctor when
he's in company and has nothing to
say?" "He should say it quietly" re-
piled the Doctor.
The difference between sailor and
an adulterator of tea is, that one is
toiler of the sea, and the other a soiler
of the tea.
A PROUD and devoted wife, whose has
band had got jop on a cellar excava-
ton, explained his absence by saying he
had gone to Wheeling.
In concluding an article on the last
corn crop, an Alabama editor remarked,
eve have on exhibition in our sanctum
a magnificent pair of ears"
CARE those soaps all one scent?" in
quired a lady of a juvenile salesman.
"No, ma'am, they are all 10 cents, re-
piled the innocent yOungster.
IT does not follow that the acquaint-
ance of bandy-legged men should be
sought more than others, because ga
friend in kneed is a friend indeed"
The gentleman who put his hand into
another gentleman's pocket and withdrew
the other gentleman's purse pleaded
that he was overcome by his feelings.
A PARIS correspondent writes about
the dismembered portions of human
bodies that are constantly being picked
up in the Seine. For that matter, at
this season of the year, any number of
big tows can be seen coming down the
Hudson.-Nese York paper.
AN old colored preacher was lecturing
youth of his fold about the sin of dane
ing, when the latter protested that the
Bible plainly said: "There is time
to dance" eyes, dar am time to
Dance" said the dark divine, "and it's
when boy gifts whippin' for gwine to
a ball. b."
We heard one of our bachelor friends
singing the following touching solo the
other day. Guess his "Arabeller Is
all right:
Ny Arabeler
so ripe and meller,
And, goodness!
Can't she love Teller
Her eyes are black,
And pink her smeuer;
And, goodness
Can't she hug a Teller
Her cheeks are red,
Her hair is yeer;
And, goodness!
| Can't she kiss Teller
ONE cold and stormy election day
Judge Story felt it his duty to go to the
polls. He ordered his carriage, but just
as he was getting in, turning to his col
ored driver. he said: Have you voted
yet ?" "No, Massa Story; | was wait
ing to drive you first" Well," re-
piled the Judge, "and who do You in
tend to vote for ?" 81 shall vote for
A." answered the driver. "Well," con-
tinued the Judge, laughing. 81 should
vote for B.; so you may put up the car
riage again, and we will both stay at
home and pair off our votes
TIE Brewers should to Malta 4, 20,
The Boobies > all TO Scily.-
The 'Quakers to the - Friendly Isles"
The - Furriers " TO "Chili,H
The little snarng caroling "a Babes"
That break our nightly rest,
should be packed of to " Babylon
To "Lapand" or to " Brest-
From Spithead" cooks go over to Greece"
And while the 80 Mser " waits
His passage to the " Guinea coast
"Spendthrifts 4" are i'm the .sstraits,n
"Spinsters" should TO Needles " go,
9wine-bibbers " to Burgundy
"Gourmands" should lunch at sandwich Islss,"
'wags at the " Bay of Fundy,"
" Bachelors " to the " United States,n
Maids TO the " Isles of Man -
Let Gardener" go to Botany Bay
And :" Shoeblacks " to Japan"
Thus emgrate-and misplaced men
viii then no longer us,
And then all who're not provided for
Had better go to " Texas"
philadelphia Press.
UPoN the announcement of the arrival
of Prince Hassan, son of the Khedive,
with the Egyptian contingent of $500
- 4 L. Ill