Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1877-02-09
0leanings.
Never postpone happiness.

dogs
The king of our childhood's days
spanking.
When is doctor most annoyed!
When he is out of patients.
You can't buy death off He doesn't
even care for 100000, ,0OO.
Wanted to know-thc exact length of
rope used when man is tied to time"
A good deal more than half the family
troubles of this world IRE brought on ny
"A surplus Of mouth.
II never did like mutton with capers,"
Brown said, as he brushed his clothes aft
er an attack from ram.
Young America is on the rampage in
San Francisco. A son has sued his faith
er for damages for whipping him.
A Denver journl Il records case where
a Chiuaman was frost-l,i;teD from this
cold world into rosy future"
Spread of American ideas. Young
Arabs now greet the traveller in Egypt
with the familiar salutation: "Black
your boots"
The new system OF transmitting sound
by electric telegraph enables a man to
telephony story to his friends long dis
tance away.
Some nice French male idiots of fash
ion, in Paris, wear gold bracelets, and a
few London swell-fools are adopting the
same style.
When proposing to widow, the ques-
ton whether her first husband is dead or
divorced should be put as delicately as
possible.
Every man stamps his value on him
| self. The price we challenge for our
selves is given US. Man is made great or
little by his own will.
The Springfield Republican says that
hogs are the sheet anchor OF Western
prosperity But we thought that corn
was the main sale.
The torch of science reveals the beau
ties of nature, but when held close to
woman's face, it too often reveals only
the beauties of art.
How we drop off Astor, Stewart and
Vanderbilt all gone within year. This
may be the last paragraph We shall ever
write--N Y. Graphic.
Since the skull of Agamemnon, discov-
cred by DR.. Schlieman, had thirty-two
perfect teeth, 1t is thought that the old
Trojans knew nothing of hazel nuts.
Bankruptcy in England is profitable
to somebody. In recent case the assets
were eS99 and the expenses 1866, leav-
ing e33 to be divided among the creditors.
In the Arctic expedition TO Nova Zem-
bla the Swedish corps of skillful observ-
ers has discovered score of killed OBJ
servers-victlms to the severe winter.
An attempt is being made by the
School Board at Greenock, Scotland, to
promote the singing of Temperance
songs" by the children at their schools.
Anna Dickinson, not being good in
love scenes, is advised to write a play,
containing tyrant, whom she marries
and then proceeds to take the conceit out
of him.
To the person who begins a conver-
sation with the phrase. when l was
at the Centennial the only quarter
cremation. -Ciicayo Pot.
The Rev. Mr.. T1lmage preached on
journalism last Sunday. The part where
he initiated reporter limhing up
fireplace and hiding in the chimney in
order to overhear Il conversation, Is said
to have been very impressive.
A woman at Newark. n, j.. recently
attempted 10 split her tongue in two.
The ambition of woman in what might
be called a liugual direction WILL it is to
be feared, never be fully satisfied.
Since the Boston man ran into leath-
er store and rushed upstairs and was
found trying to hang himself by the
clerk who followed him, the leather mer-
chants of that city hang up notices: mo
suicides admitted here"
Many farmers boy goes into Some
city and struggles along until middle life,
with nothing to show for his labor ex-
cept that he has thoroughly learned that
half starved lawyer is less to be envied
than well-fed farmer.
Many women scold at a mark, and 80 &C.
curate do they aim that they will knock
all the good resolutions out of man in
three minutes, and leave him doubled up
over the aching void where his manhood
ought to he, like small boy who has be.
come the sepulcher of green apple.
tons for the new year-especially in the
morning, when you find the collar button
from the back of your shirt is gone, all
the pins bent double, and your wife calls
up the stairs to say that breakfast is cold,
and how much shall she pay a man for
shoveling off the sidewalk.
An article entitled, "Where the Driver
Should Sit, rs now going the rounds,
Given Portland cutter, a cold moon.
light evening and the only other occupant
besides ourselves blooming little widow.
We don't think there can be any question
as to where the driver eould sit.-Port.
land Times.
Norristonn Herald:-"Love makes
1913 pounds of girl feel no heavier than
feather on fellows knee" Fulton
: Timss:-"And the same fellow would
have his leg cramped all out of shape by
seventy-fve pounds of wife" Dan6urv
Ners:-"That would depend somewhat
upon whose wife it was"
A couple of little ones discussed the.
ology to slight extent the other night
The question was as to the locality of
heaven. II think" said one," that it's in
the ground, because they put my grandma
there, and they SAID she went to heaven"
NO." said the other with great thought
fulness and gravity. "It's in the bureau
drawer. My uncle died one day, and
saw his picture in the drawer only last
week.
A young woman recently answered an
advertisement for a dining.room girl. and
the lady of the house seemed pleased
But, before engaging her, there were
some questions to ask: Suppose" said
the lady, now only suppose, understand,
that you were carrying piece of steak
from the kitchen, and, by accident.
should let it slip from the plate to the
floor. what would you do in such cases"
The girl looked the lady in the eve for a
moment before asking: is 1t 4 private
family or are there boarders?" Board.
ers, answered the lady. Pick it up and
put 1t back on the plate" firmly replied
the girl. She was engaged.