The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-10-27

Is IT \ SHARK"
1t is Not tie Jabberrsck or tie JUIjpd Btrdr 6nf
run be tie BoojDn or the BonderSndtch
For some time past the Mississippi rive,
has been pcrvaded by monster which cannot
be the ,Jabberwock, because that beast was Il
land animal, and besides was slain by the
beamish boy; nor yet dare we assert confident
~ that it is the Jubiub bird; for although il
has. wcll-marked heak, yet it seems to be al
lied rather to reptiles than to the feathcret
songsters Of the air, and neither whflles nor
BUBBLES, but roars and bellows instead. On the
whole the beast is more like a shark or boo
jun than anything else we can think of, unless
possibly it is the Bandersnatch, concerning
the true appearance OF which naturaliSts are
at variance and laymen may not speak with
confidence. The monster made his first APP.
pearance near st. Louis, but since then he has
been pursuing his way down the river, appear
ing at the surface just often enough to create
an increased colored attendance at divine serv-
ice, though not so frequently as to cause any
noticeable diminution in the number of chick
ems stolen along the borders of that noble
stream Til! within day or two no good de,
scription of him has been given; he was
merely said to be about seventy feet long, and
TO have fiery eyes and n Shiny tail. Now,
however that Capt. John Carraway, of Pitts
burg, has observed him with some mnuteneSs
as he dispOrted himself in the water about fiji
teen miles above Memphis, we may perhaps
form some clear notion of what this composite
of various animal orders is like 1t would be
too heavy a task to attempt To classify him,
but no one will deny that he is singularly
gifted beast He has the head of bulldog,
the bill of pelican, the name of horse, the
neck of mammoth, the fins of fish, the legs
of quadrupcd-he has been seen wading in
shallow water-aId an enormous tail. His
beak serves triple purpose, for with it he
bites, spOuts water like a whale and rOars in
the most terrific manner. 1t is not known
whether he has wings, but the great probabii-
ty is that nature, which has endowed him so
richly in many respects and lavished upon
him the most incongruous gifts, from the bill
of II pelican to the roar of gorilla, has been
niggardly in this respect alone Possibly it
was her design to rebuke the critics who'd
it wrong even for painter to join the head of
horse to the body of "a being of another spe-
cies, and if so, she would hardly have failed
to give wings to Il scrpent.tish which wears u
name.
Surprising within himself" as Count
Smorltork said at Mrs Leo Hunters party, at
once the characteristics of the horse, dog, ser
pent, bird and fish, the animal is clearly ent-
tied to a name which shall express his various
qualities, and therefore we hasten to suggest
that he be hencetorth known AS the Hippo
Observation-Disclosures MissisSippianus.-
He is probably unique and as we think about
him we see that it is well that he should be so
the great incongruity Of his requirements rem
ders him so incalcube that one of him is fully
enough. 1t is not pleasant to think of our river
captains as liable at any hour to meet beast
that can terrify them with its quacking, roar
ing, barking, neighing, chirruping and hiss
ing, break their boats to pieces with one flap
of its tail, seize the gasping mariners in its
bcak, wade TO shore and worry them as a ter
rier worries mouse, and wind up finally with
munChing them as horse chews its oats, hav-
ing previously involved them in its coils and
crushed their bones and flesh to jelly prepare
lively to lubriCating and receiving them into
its voraclous NAV. Even More, of More hall,
who slew the Dragon of Wantley, would have
but poor chance of success in contest with
such Il complication of animals, of which one
can form faint conception by noticing its re,
semblancc in natural history to what in music
is the wandering minstrel who at once PLAYS
Pandean pipes, cymbals, triangle and the snare
and bass drum, together with other instruments
too numerous and humorous TO MENTION
Noah would have been saved great deal of
Observation-Disclosures WiSsissDpiaaus in.
to the Ark in lieu Of a large number of other
animals. As crabs and some other dcnizens of
the deep can at will throw off IA claw or an arm
which will presently he compensated for upon
the parent stem by the outgrowth of another.
so this beast on landing might have been per.
suaded to throw off IA horse, a pelican, dog or
what not, and by slight modification of struc.
ture easily understood by morphologists he
might in time have peopled the world with
cats, zebras, lions and sheep, or anything else
that might he thought desirable
A crucial test either of the truth of the cx.
istenCe of this monster or the professions of
naturalists to reconstruct a fish from a scale or
monophyodont from II tooth is now offered
When he attacked Capt Carraway's boat a
splinter four feet long was broken from its
beak, and is in the possession of the mariner
Ii should be sent to Professor Warehouse
Hawkins and if he can draw a correct picture
of the animal on the blackboard he will cstab-
lish the veracity of those who tell the strange
story, and will also add another proof to those
we already possess of the vast powers OF sci.
cncc. The splinter is at hand-whcre is the
Professor.