The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1877-09-06

You'd better crawl IN 1t,
WHEN Bishop Mead preached in Ohio
in the early days a backwoodmau said:
He is the first of them fine fellows that
have ever seen who could shoot without
a rest.
"MIss c." said a gentleman, one
evening, ''why are ladies so fond of Off
GERS ?'' ''How stupid ~ replied Miss
c.; els it not natural and proper
that a lady should like geod offer, sir 2''
VIsToR-"I see you have a new girl." q"
HousekeePer-" took her a week on
trial" Visitor" And how do you like
herr" HousekeePer-"T The triaP' is al
most more than / can bear"
THERE is a lady at Eureka, California,
who, a dozen years, ago, was married In
a two thousand dollar dress. Now she
takes in washing to support a drunken
husband and three pairs of twins.
CoNCERNING the word "Iady" a wo.
man writes as follows: off I belonged
TO the medical persuasion and an editor
called me lady doctor, l would per-
scribe for that literary light gratuitously,
and administer q dose which would
purify him of his vulgar gentility. , "
A YOUNG man who is evidently with
out pride OF ancestry or hope of prosper
ity is constructing a raft on which be ex-
poets next month to ride over Niagara
Falls. The raft is being constructed on
scientific principles, but no doubt the
young man will be drowned in the COM
mon way.
The marked decline of 1O8000,O0O
pounds in the importation of East In
dian cotton into Great Britain during
the years of 1875 and 1876 respectively,
shows clearly that all hope of successful
rivalry with the south must be aban-
doned. Since 1866 IIindOstau has ceased
to be a dangerous competitor.
WE'still hear occasionally of the ten
der, passionate, wOrshiping lover, who
lies in ambush for the idol of his hearts
affections, and cuts her head of with a
hatChet because she will not marry him.
1t is getting to be safer for a girl to shoot
a man when ne proposes, than to reject
him. And that possibility makes it very
unpleasant for the man when he "asks."
-HalDkeye,
WHAT picnic would be without hor-
nets Is a matter of conjecture, as there
never has been way 10 find out. A
hornet Is not denominational. It goes
to all picnics. And it is a desirable adj
iunet. It tends to modify greediness,
besides adding largely to the enthusiasm.
Five hornets at a small table will do more
to level social distinctions and to promote
social intercourse than an awful disaster
in a village.-DGnbuyy Aclcs.
II is enough to MAKE every patriotic
American join the hOodlums In their
attack upon the Chinese quarter, to hear
thatinquisitive geographers have recently
found two rivers In China, each Of which
is nearly thousand miles longer tnan
our great Mississippi. 1t does seem as 1t
so-caiIed scientific observers might be
about better business than bringing bu
initiation on the noble Caucasian rae.
Is civilization a failure
THE San Diego (Cal.) World says
q San Diego has young gentleman tele-
graphic operator, who, after repeated
calls for a young lady operator in an
other Office, at last got a response, and
then, click, click, click (fortissimo), he
| tslegraphed back to her Vehemently
| I have been trying to get you for the
| last half hour = In moment the fol-
| lowing spicy reply came tripping back TO
him over the wires from the telegraphic
| maiden: That's nothing; there Is a
Young man here who has been trying the
same thing for the last two years, and he
!
hasn't got me yet"
WHY should we import millions Of dol.
! Iars' worth of figs and almonds while the
| southern states could readily supply our
markets is il for the want of proper
! knowledge of their culture and lack Of
| energy, OF scarcity of labor? OF course
! it is not for us up here in the north, the
| Rural New Yorker says, to answer these
questions, as apples, peaches and pears
| similar fruits, mainly occupy our atten-
| tiOn. But it does seem TO us that the
/ peopIe of the southern states ought to be
| able to supply us such easily raised fruits
as frs and almonds as cheaply as they
can be bought abroad, counting in the
! cost of exchange, freight, insurance and
other unavoidable expenses.
DR.. George Johnson, an English physi-
/ clan. has reported another case OF poison
/ ing by homeopathic camphOT, the nOces
| of which were furnished by Mr.. Grubb,
of Warminster, England. A young gen.
| tIeman, aged eighteen, wishing to cure a
| cold, took on sugar, in the course Of Six
| hours, seven doses of homeopathic cam
! phor. each dose containing three drops.
! Within five minutes after taking the last
| dose. without the slightest warning, he
| had an epileptic fit, which lasted more
| than a quarter Of an hour. Since the
attack he had been feeling queer" and
| at the time of Mr. GTubb's report, q
month after the accident, he had not
fully recovered. Cases such as the above
/ cannat be too widely known. The use
| Of camphOr for the cure OF cold Is rapidly
extending, and the people who use it have
mot the slightest idea that they are play
| ing with a poison.