The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1877-12-27
Miscellaneous.

Fools and their back hair are soon
parted.
A good thing to put in practice; a
young lawyer.
The old fashioned ten.cent scrip is the
dime novel of to-day.
Master at home p mo sir; he's out. /"
Then Ill step in and sit by the fire. -
That's out, too, sir.
"a country paper says: 1--WE have re-
ceived circular warning us to be careful
when taking $40 bills. as SO many coun-
terfeits are in circulation. $40 bills
What is $40 bill, anyway
II will not learn trade r. exclaimed
the Chicago youth to his father But
this business Of learning trade is only a
matter Of time, for within a year that
young man was studying harness making
in state-prison.
Many clergymen do not yet know
where their winter overcoats are to come
from; but they feel a sweet and solemn
faith that they will get seventeen pairs OF
slippers each about Christmas time, and
that none of them will fit
II want five cents worth of starch, I"
said little girl TO q grocer's clerk The
clerk asked: What do you want FIVE
cents worth Of starch for p "Why, for
FIVE cents, of course" she answered And
the clerk concluded to attend to his own
business.
Farmer (after anxiously inspecting
strangers): What be they gentlemen
doing, mister3 Visitor: "Sketching
your house; They are artists, and may
be they will paint it," Farmer: "Well,
am sure they be quite welcome. IL
wants 1t, and iwhitewashing too, mortal
bad"
II wish was short-sighted," said lit
tie boy to his mother, the other day
"Why my dearP said the fond parent
Because" replied the precocious six
year-old. II should not then be blamed
for always taking the lsrgest plums off
the dish; for, of course. should not be
able to see the small ones"
Spurgeon says he has often thought,
when hearing certain preachers of high
order speaking to the young, that they
must have understood the Lord to say
Feed my cameleopards, instead Of
Feed my lambs" for nothing but giraffes
could reach any spiritual food from the
lofty rack on which they place it.
"You have often" said the clergyman,
heard the brethren say Amen Amen T
while some one was praying. What do
they mean2 lfany one knows, let him
hold up his hand" Up jumped little
fellow, so eager to answer as not to wait
for recognition. Il know |" he cried out
ut means hurry up and get through"
Some one tells of an Ohio tavern-keep-
er, appointed collector of internal reye-
nue., who got one day, in an envelope ad-
dressed to him officially, a $500 green
back, with slip of paper, on which was
written Conscience money" He put the
bill in his Pocketbook without debate
simply remarking: 81 always did sus-
pect that barkeeper"
Medical journals are making a fuss
, about q corset liver" woman was
dissected in Cincinnati. and it was found
that the compression of her corsets had
made dent in her liver, in which man
could lay his arm. There are a good
many corset livers in Rome. and laying
an arm in the dent is q popular amuse-
ment with our young men. Sunday
evening, when all the billiard rooms ar
shut. This experiment is tried will
great success, but Romans know too muclI
to furnish the particulars for publicationJ
Some people are too careful about
wounding the feelings Of other people.
We know q man who cannot sleep nights,
30 great Is his fear that he may unwit-
tingly pass a counterfeit bill on printer,
and that big-hearted man has guarded
against such a mishap by reading this
paper for years without offering to pay
Tor IT, Such rare tenderness renews our
confidence in human nature.