The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-09-07

That then mayst impure no man, dove
like be.
And sorpent-ifks that none may inlure
thee.
Queen Victories maids of honor
receive 5000 and their board and
washing.
Bsrnum says the 'baby elephants
which it is pretended have been
born in this country are all frauds.
We suppose il President Hayes
should after . word OF politics in
those little speeches he would re-
move Observation-Disclosures Demo-
Graf.
It is said real good men are very
scarce st watering places this sea-
son. Come to think of it, there Is
no place oVereroWded with that
sort.-Picayune. $500
On the authority of Professor
Agassiz it is declared. that the
land reaching fiom Trenton, n. j.,
to Saratoga was the first to appear
above the water at the creation.
While DIR. Mary Walker was lee
turing lately in one OF the rural
towns, it lie said that youth cried
out: "Are you the Mary that had
q little lambp "No ~ was the
sharp reply; Hbut your mother had
q little jackassl I"
A man in Boston made savage
assault the other day upon his doc
tor, while suffering from temporary
insanity, brought on by q too free
induidence in ham and eggs. The
Globe wants an anti-ham and egg
society formed at once, before the
social fabric crumbles andsr the eff
fects of temporary insanity.
We thought that there was at
least one field in which New York
would not attempt to compete
with us, and here we find that the
Jewish rabble are procuring divor-
ces in that city for So each. The
granting of these divorces is de-
Tended on the ground that the old
divorce laws of the Jewish church
have never been abrogated, and
that the Jewish law is superior to
all othsrs among the Israeli tes.-
Inter-Ocean.
Why she wouldn't: A young
lady was at a party, during which
quarrels between husband and wife
were discussed. ISL think" said an
unmarried, older son, 'sthat the
proper thing is for tie husband to
have it out ct once, and thus avoid
QuarreIs for the future. I would
light 8 cigar in the carriage after
the wedding breakfast, and settle
the smoking question forever" 81
would knock the cigar out of your
mouth" interrupted the belle. do
yon know I don't think you would
be there" he remarked. =
"Say, mister" said a small boy to
one of the assistants at the public
library, 81 can't fluid the books
want to git into these here catalogs.
| wish yer'd find' EN- for me"
What work do you wish to draw p
paternally inquired tho official.
'Well, hev yer got 'Mulligan the
Washer, or the Cory Galeot of the
Galtees 2" The man shook lis head.
"WelI, I'd like Red-headed Ralph,
the Ranger of the Roaring Rialto. /"
eve don't keep any of that kind OF
trash, my boy" "Wot sort of a IL
brary is this, any way ?" retorted
the boy, "wy, it's just like every
thin else in this country-run for
the rich, an the poor workingman
gifts no show at all."-Boston Tray
eIler.
Laurent Jan, Partisan of some
prominence, who died recently,
was one day speaking in the high
est terms of wit and brilliancy OF
a certain dramatic author with
whom he had a violent quarrel,
and to whom he did not even
speak: 'If you admire him so
much." said bystander, show is
it that you always turn your back
upon him when you meetr "That
is a different matter" responded
Laurent Jan, 81 am extremely
fond Of ham, yet I never associate
with pigs"