davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
National Republican., 1877-08-03

SEALED PROPOSALS FOR FURNISHING THa
~ Naval Academy with the following articles VIII
be received until II O'Clock m on SATURDAIs
September I, lsI7:
first-lTOn, Tools, Tin, &c.
secnnd-Hay and Feed for Horses
Thiid-BroOms, Brushes and soap.
FOlTth-GlaSs, &c.
fihh-statiOnery, including B;ottins and Envei.
ope PAPER.
Sixth-BraSs, Steam Pipe and Fittings.
Proposals must be submitted on forms Furnished,
with schedule, ~ the Naval Academy, with guar
an,ee and cert.irate annexed.
AL articles TO be delyeted promptly at the er-
pefse Of the contractor TO be Of the best quality
and subject TO Inspection by the authorities Of The
Academy, and II rejected TO be removed al con-
tractors expense.
The rightto rcjectany Of proposals Is reserved
Proposals for each class 10 be separate and n
duplicate, and the class bid for ndorscd on outida
Of envelope, and addressed 10
G.. X. r. RODGERS,
jy3oMiw Rear Admiral, Superintendent
National Republican., 1877-08-03

EoR RENT-THE SPLENDID STORE (sUITA.
II BILE for drug+tore and dwelling) corner -Four.
Apply to J. H. ALBERS,
JySi-iw 1915 Eleventh street.
National Republican., 1877-08-03
WHEATLEY BROTHERS,

WHEATLEY bRornEkS.
LUMBER YARDs
LUMBER YARDR
GEORGETOWN, D. @.
AND CORNER SEVENTH AND Q sTRRElS
msieu wAsHTSsrox. d. C.
National Republican., 1877-08-03
MAcARTHvRs REPORTS, voia

Vol. 10. Forty fourth Congress. ts7S 1877.
National Republican., 1877-08-03

SEASIDE READING.
Oriental Religion. China: johnson; o.
Problems Of life and Mind: Vol. Lewe< n
Art Biucai9n Applied TO Industry; NichoiisN
nue and Red Light: Dr. Pnncoast y. -
Mythology Of Greece and Rome; Binnchf eiyo.
Ile aud Spccchcs OF Daniel Webster smuekcr. si.,s
Amer Many Days Christian Reid: q.
The American Senator; Anthony Trollope 50 cents,
Castle -. Angelo. hcng aidiliona chapters 70 Roba
Marquis Of iS.uic; Mac Donald. Is cents
IN Shangsd unehanscd vliiare; sLzA
Poet and Merchant; Aucrbach; sl2l
The last four being volumes OF the hmous Leisure
Any book, no matter by whom published. sent to
sOIoMoNs a CHAPMAN.
ieOu sli Pennsyivania avenue
T IsT ov NEW BOOKS FOR SALE AT
L. SHIII.IN0TON'S BOOKSTORE
The scrpture Club OF Valley Rest ny The author o
'Hclens BabcS."
A Woman ITairr by Chas Reade.
Jan, cfthe Windmill story OF the Plains
NJ, July and August Uniform with 'Helens Babies"
frisdne; The story ofa Dream BY .ouda."
A Family Feud. by the author OF THE second wife
and "Old Mam'selles Secret.
Mignon By Miss Forester.
ShssI ssSs Fellow TWo :s sss
Ladies', Pair OF Blue Eyes, and others
East a' 1sSns. ai iohn Sf Msa, 9 Jane Eyre Eyre WS%aa
The Lsfsside fisrary"S repository e. '' o. he bes,
For Cheap SUMMER Reading. New Books aud evsry.
thing In the Stationery Line Snd Sn,ddt9., g ,..,.,
cpr fourand-a-haii street and PennsyIvania avenue
National Republican., 1877-08-03

LEA q PERRINs'
CELEBRATED
wSRGEsFERsHEERE WORCESTERSHIRE sAgGR sAgGR
Pronounced by oonnoIsseurs to be the
"oNLy GOOD SAUCE
And applicable to every variety OF dish.
Extract Sf letter Letter non medical sss,Ieman at
Sreil LEE a PERKINS that their sauce Is highly
esteemed In India, and h. In my opinion, the most
made"
Premium awarded at Centennial for;
First. "ExCELLENT TASTE"
Second. VERY CAREFULLY PREPARED."
LEA PERKINS SIGNATURE
LEA PERKINS, SIGNATURE
Is on every bottle
Is on every bottle.
LEA q PERRINs
LEA PERKINS,
JOHN puNCANs SONS
JOHN DuNcAN's SONS
New York.
Iyian
7 GLANDS OCEAN HOTEL,
II LONG BRANCH,
NOW OPEN.
AMERICAN AND EUROPEAN PLAN
9o rear and wing Ioonls"......".......,t per day.
9oo ocean view rooms.................... PEI day.
100 paror rooms ,,,... .,......,,.....,. neT day.
LIBERAL REDUCTIONS TO PERMANENT
GUESTS.
For special rates and securing OF rooms address
CHARLES AND WARREN LELAND Ia,
Jyls oceAL "olel, La Branch.
National Republican., 1877-08-03

JobbIng promptly attended 10, Ausou
LIELIX DESFosSE5 FRENCH BAKERY,
II Established lS5A,l
IS YEARS oF INCREASING SUCCESS
FELIX DE>SfDsSE,
the well known and only real Ftel baker inwashing
ton, has removed 10 No Al2 II street, between TWEEN
teth and Twentyhrsl streets near Pennsylvani ave
nus, where In house expressly built for the purpose
he has greater facilities than before for the nanuc
ture OF The best French and American Bread. French
bread q specially. Liberal terms offered 10 hotels
and dealers.
N B-French Bread Is recommended for persops
OF delicate health especially for those suffering nom
dyspepsia Beware OF limitations. det0
National Republican., 1877-08-03

Dr. Tut has been engaged In
the practice Of medicine thirty
years, and for u long time was
demOn4trntor OF anatomy In
the Medical COLLEGE Of Georgia,
hence persons using his pills
have the guarantee that they
are prepared on scientific prln-
ciples, and are nee from all
qilackery.
He has succeeded In cnmbln-
Ing In them the heretofore an
tagonistic qualities OF q
strengthening, purgative and
q purifying tonic; while they
remove all unhealthy accum,i-
lations. they produce no weak
ness.
They may be taken at any
|. time without restraint Of diet
or occupation. As SAFE fhm-
ily medicine they have no
rival.
PRICE Is CENTS.
OFFICE,
35 Murray street.
New York.
National Republican., 1877-08-03
sJTUhTIONs WANTED.

WANTED, ny A RESPECTABLE CoLoRED
w girl, a place to cook wash and iron, or do
chhmber-work. and nnderstnnds taking care OF
nlendaion, u required. Apply nt 9Do5 the
Of Fourteenth and U streets northwest. auSSt
w VANTED-IMMEDTATEL BY A RELIABLE
w nrstclaSs washer and iToner, q situation. Apply
AT sy3 Twenty.thlrd street, between II and north.
west. aug3s
National Republican., 1877-08-03

ENOR RENT-FR0M AUGUST I, HOUSE NO. 1915
a sixth street northwest; threestory brick; ten
rooms, hall, water and gns ta Apply TO w. l. RED.
srRARE, Grocer, corner OF New York avenue and
sixth street Iy2i.u
National Republican., 1877-08-03

Is OUR REPUBLIC A FAILURE by Watson.
THFtHILD HUNTERS by friend OF Italy.
AF1ERuLOw. No name series
PHYLLIS, by The Duchess.
THE SCRIPTURE CLUB, by author OF Heien's
Babies.
A WOMAN HATER. bv Charles Reade
HEAI ~ or MONEY. by W. T. Norris
TIE ihT, anovel; by Ghnrles Reade
MaCquald
RUSSIA, by d. Mnrkenzie Wallace, NJ. A.
TURKEY, by James Baker, NJ. A.
HARPEis' HkLF.HOUR sERiEs. from the best
authors and very low price.
A fnll line Of Stationery both plain and fancy,
Scrap Books and Panel Pictures, which particu'
sry attractive, and will we'll repay one for Inspect.
W. H. a o. H. MORRISON.
Law BDokseerS,
Jy1su No. f5 Pennsylvsna avenue.
National Republican., 1877-08-03

MIND: A QUARTERLY REVIEW OF PsY.
NA cHoLoGY AND PHILOSOPHY.
No I. JULY. 1871 Price n.
ANNUAL SUBSCRIPTION, Ia, POST FREE
Biographical Sketch of an Infant, by Charles
Darwin. 10 PIP.
II Education as a Science II) by A. Bain: Is DID,
Ill knowledge and Belief by ID. q. Thompson V PIP
l8p
English Thoughts In the 18th Century. by the
Editor: n pp.
VI Philosophy in France; by tn Ribot; 20 pp.
Critical Noticss Notes. Correspondence, dc, by ]
Suly II. Sdgwick. Lord Rayleigh, J. MCiosh
II. spencer, i. b. Tylor and others.
TO SUBSCRIBERS IN THE UNITED STATES
The Journal can be supplied by the London Pub.
free, Immediately on publication. International
Money Orders can be sent from any office In the
WILLIAMS a NORGATE,
II Henrietta street, COvent Garden, London and 10
south Frederck street, Edlnbnrgh. iyis
National Republican., 1877-08-03

MUSICAL CONSERVATORY,
lfl AT THE SPACIOUS
MUSIg HALL, 49, NINTH STREET
Frpits rsceited al all Times.
AS-Send for circular.
ot5-FMwlim* o. b. BuLLARD Dlrecto
National Republican., 1877-08-03
PROPOSALS..

J1RoPOsALs FOR REPAIRING TiBER.sywKH
l. AT NEW YORK AVENUE NoRTuwEsT.
ESgfsEEHs OFrfCE,0
DtsTnttT ~ tuLuMHIA,
wAsHfygDs, u. g., July 10 l517 }
Sealed proposals viii be received at this pfice unM
" o'clock M August a. 15T7, for the "Repar Of Tibes
Creek sewer" at New York avenue. Bids will be re
ceived only upon blank 70 which may be ob,ained
nom this oflCe, together with the necessary Informs
ton, upon npp1itI IN therefor.
The riIht is reserved to reject any or all bids q
parts OF BIDS
BY order ofthe Commissioners, DC:
II. l. HOXIF,
Lent Engineers. u 8. A, and En- sineef, b. q
National Republican., 1877-08-03

TNOR REMITTANCE STORE, NO. 46l PENNsYI-
~ yania avenue northwest, near corner Four-anda-
half street. A. II. DUVALL, corner Fouraiid. .ahali
street and Louisiana avenue. apgtf
National Republican., 1877-08-03

INSURANCE.
rJ,HIRTY. TY.FoURTH YEAR
NEW ENGLAND MUTUAL LIFE INSURANCE
COMPANY, BOSTON, MASS.
LOOK OUT FOR THIRrY-THIRD ANNUAL RE-
PORT. 1877.
Dividend to members In CASH rs their premiums
fall due. Over ts.OO,UO have been returned to mem
bers during the last thirty three years.
Begin the new year to Insure.
ALL POLICIES protected from forfeiture by State
law. Solicitors wanted. Liberal terms made TO par
ties having lapsed policies,
N. H. CLARKE, Genera Agent
Room ST. Cloud Building.
Alos, Agent for the Republic Fire Insurance Com
pany of New York City. Ia2tThSSly
National Republican., 1877-08-03

II location In the city about three squares nom The
Capitol three new brick nouses three stories, nine
rooms bay Windows all the way up all the modern
improvements. Inquire of J. H. ARCHER, rooms
M ~ and 10 Federal building corner Of and Sew
rnth streets je27-tf
National Republican., 1877-08-03

UNITED STATES sTArUTEs AT LARGE.
National Republican., 1877-08-03
ROOMS EOR REM

An udrertfseinen Inserted IN this department e IN
ony proper DsihOd OF Desdiiv renting rooms dilt
thereby pfrrt1tinD the dstdcinp Of pour house trfh
pidcnid by proper condemnation pour dd,etttse'f,,
may b oot bRo hoo tines. costing hoety eentsJor ede'
DiSSTiiOL
National Republican., 1877-08-03
A VACATION LIBRARY.
THE TRIBUNE NOVELS.

TEN CENTS EACH-sIX FOR FIFTY CENTS.
A CHARMING FELLOW. BY Francis Eleanor
Troope.
TWO LILLlES. by Julia Ravanagh
BLACK SPIRITS AND WHITE. BY Francis
Eleanor Trollope ~
GOOD LUCK. by y Werner, CTranslated from the
German for the Tribune, by Mary stuart
oLyMPiA: A ROMANCE. ByR +. Fr,nclon.
LORDS AND LADIES. published by arrangement
with A, X. Ioring. Boston)
PAIR OF BLUE EYES Thoma. Hardy (Pub
lshed by arrangement with Messrs. Henry Holt
Co, whose Leisure Hour Series contains au-
thOriked editions OF all the writer's works.
Every Novel IN this series Is complete and un-
abridged, all later numbers beingtn standard form
with pages about the size Of those OF Hdtp>ri Weekly
The IrhDe Novels are the cheapest publications OF
the kind, giving, for one dime, the same reading
which In other orms costs nom seven to ten times
The I. hume Novels may be procured OF any news.
dealer or will be mailed, postpaid receipt OF price
Address. THE TRIBUNE New York.
yls
National Republican., 1877-08-03
HOME COMFORTS.

HOME COMFORTS.
n T. BOWEN.
HOUSE. SIGN AND ORNAMENTAL
PAINTER AND GLAZIER.
FAINTER AND oLAzIER
s25 Louisiana avenue, between sixth and Seventh sts
JobblnR pron,ptly attended TO. au2Stf
National Republican., 1877-08-03

NEW "vEsT-PoCKET" BOOKS.
A MOOSEHEAD JOURNAL. r. Lowell.
LALLEGRO, IL PENSEROSA, &c-Miiton.
SUMMER.-Janes Thomson.
FAvORITE EPOEMS.-wiliiam Cooper
oSoOoDs GUIDE BOOKS
THE MIDDLE STATES. Maps. Is Plans a
NEW ENGLAND. Maps, u Plans. "
THE IMEPR0yfNCES MAPS. Plans a.
THE WHITE MOUNTAINS. Maps, rano-
ramas "
Incomparably the FULLEST, most accurate every way
best, American Guide Books.
For sale by booksellers and newsdealers Sent post
paid, on receipt OF price, by the publishers.
JAMES r. OSGOOD a CO.. Boston.
CHAS. T. DILL1NGHAM, 6Ts broadway,
jyis Special Agent for J. r. o. a Cos Publications.
nR. l.. SAuyEuRS NEW PUBLICATION:
- FABLES DE la FONTAINE tavec Notes at
Comnientaircr,l si.dl
HENRY HOLT, 8 Bond street,
F.w. CHRIsTERN II university Place,
jy1s New York
National Republican., 1877-08-03
WOOD AND COAL.

PINE WOOD from d to $50, Oak from ttso to \
and Hickory al q per cord Also, all kinas OF sawed
and split, kept under cover.
aSi Deliveries made direct to the consumer IRON
JOHNSON BRo1 HERS,
Main OrIce and Depot John.ons wsArves, foel
Twelfth and Thirteenth and streets sculiw ssl
0fhCes ISt! + aud iil2 Ninth street northwasL ana
lIlS seventh street northwest. lyQ
CHEAP woop CHAP m.u
Best qualities OF anthracite coal, dtl!voIsd nra
E5Oup.
Pine wood delivered nom o. to s. Per cord.
Oak wood delivered rom SiSO to s. 20 per cord. =
Sawed and split wood kept under cover.
Georges Creek Cumberland coal run OF mine and
lump, always on hand al lowest rates.
our facilities for cheap deliveries unsurpassed 81
any In the trade.
THOMAS w RILEY a SONS,
Main ofice and depot Rlley's wharves. cot OF Eisw
enth and Twelfth streets southwest
Branch OffiCe, street, between Second and TNir(
northwest, and sixth street, beiwesn d aud sQlth
west. mytW
National Republican., 1877-08-03

MUSICAL ACADEMY,
i,u ] street northwest DIR. J. p. CAULFIELD Prlr
c.pu. selstf
National Republican., 1877-08-03

n s. DUTToN & CO., ARCHITECTS. AND
Room T. Warner Building Ie3osm
National Republican., 1877-08-03

BooKs ASD sTA TIoSERY:

NOW READY
National Republican., 1877-08-03
Johns HOPKINS UNIVERSITY,
BALTIMOR

The Programme OF Studies for the year beginning
Sept is s17 will be sent on application. Je22 FruiIw
National Republican., 1877-08-03

For sale by booksellers and newsdeaiers. Sent post
paid, on receipt OF price, by the publishers.
National Republican., 1877-08-03

lit and i5eo SPRUCE STREET. PHILADELPHIA.
For young ladies and misses. Rpopens THURS.
DAY, September Do Board and tuition, In Latin,
GDglish and French, per annum, tto1
MADAME ID. HERVILLY, PRINCIPAL,
Ennnch Is the language of the family. mY,fhm
National Republican., 1877-08-03
TUFTS PILLS
cure sick headache.

TUFTS PILLS
cure sick headache.
TUFTS PILLS
cure dyspepsia
TUFTS PILLS
cure constipation.
TUFTS PILLS
cure piles.
TUFTS PILLS
cure fever ard ague
TUFTS PILLS
cure bilious collie.
TUT = PILLS
cure Kidney complain
TUFTS Pills
cure torpid liver.
TUFTS PILLS
impart appetite.
jyie-2m
National Republican., 1877-08-03

No l Tenth street rooms, modern lmpts.,,.. " o.
HoUsks RENTED AT REASONABLE
CHARGE
COLLECTIONS CAREFuLLY MADE; STATE
SIRED
HOUSES AND LOTS FOR SALE IN ALL PARTS
- OF THE CITY,
LOANS NEGoTIATED ON nEAI ESTATE sE
WASTkD-E ~ Ut per cent, on hrst-cass rea
estate. worth G,j0 Jyll-f
National Republican., 1877-08-03

PENNSYLVANIA MILITARY ACADEMY
l. Chester, Pa, opens september L. Location
hsalthfaE grounds ample; buildings commodlouS
Thorou, h Instruction In CIVIL ENGINEERISG
the CLASSICS and ENGLISH. Careful supervision
q Cadets For circulars, apply to COL THEo
HYATT, President jylS Sun
National Republican., 1877-08-03
EDUCATIONAL.

CIvIL AND MECHANICAL ENGINEERING
~ at the Rensselaer, Polytechnic Institute, Troy,
n. Y. InstructiOn very practical. Advantages un.
surpassed In this country. Graduates obtain excel
lent positions. Reopcns Sept, H. For The annual
Register, Containing improved course OF study and
JysOim PROF. Vim. /. ADAMS, Director.
National Republican., 1877-08-03

Incomparably the fullest, most accurate. every way
best, American Guide Books.
National Republican., 1877-08-03
MONEY TO LOAN ON REAL ESTATE.

Money to loan In any amount rs may be desired,
from 500 TO oOo hrstcass real estate security al
eight, nine and ten per cent interest Monderate
charges. II. Ii, WARNER,
iylklm strppt northweNt
National Republican., 1877-08-03
GOVERNMENT SALE.

GALE OF coPPER-sCALE, ZINC. .DRoss AND
~ LEAD-ASHES.
National Republican., 1877-08-03

7 OST-ON TUESDAY EVENING, JULY 81,
- between Thirteenth street and Capitol Hill. an
Amethyst Breastpln. The finder will be suitably re-
warted BY returning the same to SIS Thirteenth sreet
northwest. au3iw
National Republican., 1877-08-03

TOR RENT-THE FRENCH FLAT, SECOND
II floor five rooms and bat room, all modern I'M
provemenis, corncr Fourteenth street and Rhode
J. H. ALBEHS,
jy3f.Iw 1915 Eleventh street.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1877-02-13
can n Man be his own Heir.

The Pennsylvania Supreme Court at
Philadelphia has been wrestling with
conundium whether dead man can in-
herit the insurance on his own life.
One Degenther's appeal from Orphans
Court in estate Of John Haas raised
the above curious question. Decedent
married, hrst, ChIistiana Haas, who
died before him. He then married
Magdalena Hans. who survived him
and married one Degentber. At Haas
death two policies OF life insurance
were found, Que Of which was in favor
of the first wife, who left nt her death
two children. Her administrator was
by the lower court, awarded the whole
OF the sum realized by the life insur-
ance policy, aud 10 this decision the
present appeal, Mrs. Degenther claim
ing, under her husband. third OF the
money 40 realized.
She claims that Hans, by the pay
ment of premiums on the policy. Great
Ell al his Death an estate in favor Of
Christiaua Haas, aud that Mt the very
moment Of his demise a third part
vested in him (there being two child
rem left as real heir TO the separate
property of Christiapa Haas, deceased.
The appellees deny this, and aver that
there could be no particular heirship
OF the husband in the separate proper
~ OF the wife--i. e., In the proceeds
OF the policy, he, the husband, being
dead when the interest vested.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1877-02-13

WAY SIZE WAS INrArmsr.-As Bos-
ton horse-car was going north the other
evening. with young lady and an old
gentleman as sole passengers, she ex-
hibited symptoms OF impatiepce at the
slow progress made. The car had to
halt for team on the track, and she
would have got of but for the gentle
man who said, "It's for only half n
minute-don't be impatient. Then
the car waited two minutes on q switch
and she put her head out Of the win.
dow, walked up and down. aud was on
the platform when he said, There
comes the other car. You seem to be
so impatient that / am led TO believe
that some OF your family are sick. IL
IL so ?" They arc unusually we'll, I"
she replied, as she took her seat again.
One block more, and the car left the
track. She waited half a minute 10 seeif
il could be hauled on again right away
aud then she started TO go. at viii
be right in a minute" protested the
old gentlem an" Can't see IT," she
curfly replied. "Then you will 60 p
al will. "And IL isn't sickness ?"
"See here" she said. standing on the
lower step. ''if you are dying to know
the cause Of my hurry, 1 will tell yoa.
My fellow In to be at tho house st half.
past eight, and I'm not going to run
the risk OF losing good offer for all
the old men and oil the street cars in
the world. There Does that make
you feel any better T. lie pondered il
as the car slowed around, Lounced and
bobbed, and he concluded that she was
perfectly correct, though little impu.
dent.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1877-02-13
Medical.


Every moment 81 delay makes your cure more
hopeless. and much depends on the judlclora
choice OF remedy. The amount of testimony
In favor Of Dr. sehencks Pu.monis syrup. ~ a
cure for Consumption, far exceeds all that can
be brought 10 support the pretenfions OF any
other medicine. See Or. schenck,s Almanac,
containing tho certificates OF many persons OF
the highest responsibility, who have been restor-
ell TO health. after being pronounced incarAbie
by physicians Of acknowledged ability. schencks .
Pnlmonlc syrup alone has cured many, as these
evidences viii show; but the cure IL often pro-
NOTED by the employment Of two other remedies
which DIR. schenck provides for the purpose.
These additional remedies are scnencks Sea
Weed Tonic aud Mandrake Pills. BY the timely
use Of these medicines. according 60 directions.
DR.. scbenck eertines that most any case OF Con-
sumption may be cured.
DIR. schenck Is professionally at his principal
once. Corner Sixth and Arch sts.. Philadelphia,
every Monday, where all let,ers for advice must
he addressed.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1877-02-13

EvrSISd THiSas UP.-Old farmer Il.
Of Canton, Mass, became unpleasant
ly involved with his parson about going
to meeting. The farmer was greatly
remiss in his Sunday duties, aud spent
his Sabbath morning IN his orchard.
lust opposite the meeting house. The
scandal came 10 head when farner n.
ia answer TO pious expostulations, had
the face 10 say that he was in his or.
chard TO see that the Christians didn't
steal his apples. Thereupon, aud ac-
cording to the law as II then was, they
brought him into court and had him
fined as an absentee from the house Of
God. Next Sabbath early lie present
ed himself in the broad aisle and took
b seat bolt upright before the congre-
gation. But when the parson began
10 pray he pulled ont OF his coat-pock-
ct a big bat OF cotton wool, aud pro-
ceeded to stuff both ears with A. The
dangling white ends Of II. both sides
OF his big bushy head, did not aid,
during that service, the devotions OF
his fellow-citizens. He complained
aftervard bitterly TO the paying his
parish tax. II don't hear you," he
said. ''ard 1 oughnt 30 help support
YOU" Very we'll" said the parson,
1T am in my pulpit every Sunday, aud
IL Won don't hear me rs your own
fault. not mine. " "Ah bs I" said farm
er x. In the fall the parson was sur
prised to receive bill from the farmer
Tor two pigs. "How's this" said the
parson; III havn't had your pigs" "It's
-. -, faulf r,arsou" aoid the
farmer; them pigs ben In the pen all
summer waitin' for ye-and there's the
bill"
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1877-02-13
Tn. victory of n Hardware Clerk.

A sprightly looking man with sandy
whiskers and buff colored satchel en-
where he encountered the bead clerk.
whose humor frequently takes practi-
cal turn.
GOOD morning, sir" said the
sprightly looking man, "A he began to
open the satchel. bad day out"
Don't want any cutlery" respond
ed the clerk.
"But, assure you, sir"
Don't want any chisels. nor hsm-
mer nor carpet-tacks."
"but, my dear sir"
"Dont want any hand-saws, stoves.
cradle-blSdes, axes, nor anything else.
Don't want even tin horn"
BY this time the sprightly-looking
man had unbuckled the straps Of his
valise, dipped down into and brought
to light small, curiously shaped ma
chine, which he had held up to view
with proud smile.
This, sir, said he, els a model OF
Simpsons celebrated cooking stove and
wash-pot combined. You will perceive
that the movement is rendered recipro-
cal by this Simple
"My friend" interrupted the bead
clerk, edo you know that you are La.
bic to be counted out at any moment
The Returning Board is in session
right here"
"But jnst 10 me the kindness TO ex.
anime this beautiful piece of mechan-
ism. It"
"See here, stranger" responded the
clerk, did you ever know q crippled
man 10 become President ?"
"No, sir; believe not.
"Wsll, il you've got any ambition
that way, you better leave this store,
because in a general scuilie between
You and me, you might get your legs
broken over some of these ovens and
things"
The sprightly man took the hint, re-
packed bis model, aud left in hurry,
while the head clerk went to the draw
or, selected the cleanest looking SIC
bill, aud put it in his pocket Ms a token
OF victory.