, 1877-01-13
Al, sort, of paragraphs.

/ When i<a blow from lady vel.
come? Wnen she strikes you agree
ably.
When ought mariners 10 have fruit
at sea When they stem The currents.
Prpidfnlial bets to the am"unt OF
100000 are locked up IN Virginia
City. Nevada.
Time works wonders" as the wO.
man said when she got married after
thirteen years courlSGip.
Why are travelling Sriritual;sts like
pile of greenbacks ? Because they
are circulating mediums.
Call the next baby Elaine, after
Tennvson's heroine. Then when she
is cross. cali her the Madelaine.
A Miss Petlicote attends school in
Philadelphia. She is furbelow the
rest uf her class.
Progress is making tremendous
strides in the Black His. Men wear
collars in Custer City, and iAere Is q
canary bril- at Deadw ood.
"Doctor, how is a man to 'ell
mushroom from a toadstool p by
eating il. If yoa live, il is muNh
room if you die, it is toadstool-
Ole Ball is the ine violinist; hut
his brother, Sitting, can jn-l knock the
socks off any of the fanny IN thls de1
ferrous handling of blonde scalp
An oil lady from Ihe ruraI districts
as,oni-hrd clerk in one of The stories
a few days ago by n.quiring If he had
any waller development, sich as they
dld up letters in.
Sprigg's wife woke him mp at three
O'Clock it, the morning 10 say that she
had decided on The whole 10 have a
dark green suit aud green velvet
bonnet This winter.
An old gentleman who is getting
chin at the top" says, always pick
out a bald headed barber 70 shave
ven, because he cant consistently ask
YOU To bEy any hair restorative"
4 Burlington man was driven to
distraction AZ he WAS leaving the polls
Tuesday afternoon, on dl-cove:lng that
he had voted his grocery bill ana i,
wasn't receiPued, either.
What can be more foolish than TO
think that all his rare fabric OF heaven
and earth could come by chance, when
all the ski Of art is not able To make
an oyster.
DR.. j G. Ayers presented beauti
fal hail, costing 100000, to the town
hich bears his name. The wood
work is all finished il cherry pectoral,
AMI has light and Avery appearance.
Have yoa roached egss?" inquir
cd a customer Of cUlored restaurant
krrper in Mississippi. Yes, sab; all
our eggs is poached; leasiWays de
chickens dat Iald um Is, WAS the re
| ply.
When a person feels disposed TO
overeSrimate his own Importance, let
him remember that mankind got along
very well before his biriE, and IN all
probabi they will get along very
well after his death.
hfGpp won't be satisfied until he
csn make 4 cannon shat viii shoot
clear around the world and knock the
swab ont of his own gUnuer'S hands as
The bali goes back into Tie mouth Of
The piece from which it started.
A physician wrote a prescription.
ard, as the patient wen. ont Of the
room, sad to him: Il wish you would
let me know if that ioe~ you ANY good
Tor | lave myself been very much
troubled vi h rheumatism lately"
SAID " oman sleake: in New
Uh'en >utieraSe meeting: "WOman
l. in every respect The 20 1al Of MN.
Her reputation tor heroic bravery
at that luiut mouse ran mo sight.
aud the Orator Jumped on the table
and screamed.
Stunewall Jackson'S daughter Julia
is how a pretty girl of sixteen, with
large eyes, a good head, and an ex
preston fall ol sweetness and chaTac
ter. She is SAID TO be exceedingly
gentle, modest and thoughtful. She
j. living with her mother IN Charlotte,
\. G.
Young foreigner in want of a seat
"EaIiy ! O.i fellow. ven have got IN
the wrong car, | think. TINS j. ,he
palace car, fist class, You know" Old
fellow bunni for PhiiadeiI Why
stranger, | WAS born aud bred IN tnc
! Uni'pd Safes, ~ | am tirSt class my
selt."
Mrs. harrington Qoquiiur.) - But
there! The japanese department.
/ l infected il thoroughly. Ii Is sup
pressed my highest eNhortarionS, SicH
armistic brick IA brick /! Sivh fans of
unieq designs Sich vases and garden
ers Sich raIr articles of Vlrture Ii
besgars deception
The acute and qgick wi:ted Rev
Lemuel llayGp, ol Vermont, well
known years ago throughout England
was once Saucily accusled by an I'M
rudent :rIflrr, with The question: MIR
Htyne, how old do You suppose me
devil is :" You mus keep Your own
family record, was the immediate re
SFonSe.
/ 1t is said that on a certain occasion
a somewhat celebrated English divine
discovered, but only when already III
the pulpit, thar he had forgotten his
manu,crlpt. Whereupon hr called 10
TO The clerk, Jonas, l have left my
sermon at home, 50 hand up 'he Bible,
and I'll read them chapter from Job
worth ten of IT,"
The second night after the tirst hus-
hand died ,he sat by The open window
FIVE hours waiting for the cats To be