The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1877-05-31
TEN YEARS AFTER MARRIAGE.

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Ten years since the wedding day. Mrs.
Rowland was alone. She had left her
husband in the little room where they
usually sat together through the evening,
while she put the children to bed
Mrs. IIowand did not feel inclined to
return to the family sitting room, where
she had left her husband, but remained
within the chamber with her sleeping
little ones, in musng, brooding, un-
happy state of mind. Something of cold.
ness and alienation had been growing up
between her and her husband for a long
time past. The old tenderness of manner
which had been 50 sweet was all gone.
He was kind, thoughtful in regard to her
comfort, honorable and true, but getting
more formal and less alIectionate in man.
ner every day. His wife, who had loved
him very tenderly, and still loved him,
had failed to give her life adequate re-
sponses to his; had, in the fret and fever
of disciplinary existence, suffered herself
to work amid dirturbing elements in
stead of taking her place serenely by his
side. And so harmonious things had
been permitted to jar, where all might
have been peace.
1t was pressing upon the mind of Mrs.
Rowland that her husband had ceased to
love Der, and this conviction was taking
all the swectnes out of her life. 1t did
not once occur to her that she was herself
growing unlovcly, that she had laid aside
nearly all the external things by which,
when a maiden, she had sought to win
him; the sunny countenance, the alluring
voice and manner, the scrupulous attire,
the Difference to his taste and opinions,
the guard upon her temper, the womanly
elevation of character that made her seem
as one who ruled in the kingdom Of her
own soul. This was the being he had
loved, this was the woman he had taken
to walk with him through life. Alas, for
the fading idea! lie had found, instead,
one who made scarcely an effort at self
government, whose feelings and impulses
we've not springs of actions. Deeply, pas
sionately she loved him, but not wisely !;
self.abnegating love pleases both itself
and the object of its devotion. Without
some change on the part of Mrs. Rowland
it was impossible for them to grow to-
gether again.
For nearly half an hour after her chill
dren were asleep, the mother sat in her
wrctched mood, apart from her husband
and feeling no inclination to Join him.
"All love has died." said she, " am
nothing now" And as she said this her
heart shivered with an instructive reali-
zation of what her words involved. Then
fear for the loss of thing so precious as
husbands love seized upon her soul
and inspired a new purpose. A love
worth winning was surely worth an
effort to retain. And was not the way
to win, the way to keep? A new light
broke into Mrs Howlands mind. She
began to see things in herself that were
very far from being in harmony with her
life when a maiden--things that would
have certainly repelled lover, and were
they bonds for husband?
These thoughts startled the awaken
ing wife. Then old memories were re-
vived, bringing back old states, pictures
warm with the hues of love came out of
the dim past.
Is the cup broken and the wine spill
ed ?" she asked of herself. "God forbid,'
came from her lips in due utterance. Then
she left the chamber where her children
slept, and with silent feet went towards
the apartment in which she had left her
husband alone.
On the way she paused, stood still for
a moment, then returned. The gas was
burning low. She threw up the light and
caught reflection of herself in the toilet
glass. One glance sufticed. That was not
the style in which she appeared before
her lover. Taking down her hair, she
applied comb and brush rapidly for some
moments, and then arranged the glossy
masses with taste and skill. Next the
soiled and tumbled wrapper was removed,
and her person attired in a neatly fitting
dress, around the neck of which was laid
a snowy linen collar fastened by a small
coral pin, her husbands gift Of other days.
Already her cheeks were filledwith glow
and her eyes filled with light. One long
glance at herself in the mirror revealed a
wonderful transformation. How the old
memories were crOwding in upon her !!
How soft her heart was growing How
full of tenderness was every thought Of
her husband! Her lips were athirst for
kisses
And now Mrs. Rowland left her cham.
ber again. Her slippered feet gave no
sound as they moved over the carpet, and
she came to the open door of the sitting
room without betraying sign of her ap-
proach. There she stood still. Mr..
Howland was not at the table reading,
as she had left him, but at his secretary
which was open. He was reclining his
head on one hand and gazing down upon
something held in the other, and seemed
wholly absorbed. For more than min.
ute he remained in this fixed attitude,
his wife was as still as himself. Then a
long sigh trembled on the air, and then
lifting the object toward which his gaze
was directed Mr.. Rowland pressed it to
his lips, kissing it almost passionately,
three or four times. A wild throb leap
ed along Mrs. HOwland's veins. Then
her heart grew still as if in the presence
of some unknown but stupendous evil.
Something impelled her to spring for
ward and read this mystery, and some
thing as strongly held her back. As she
stood. pale now, and in q tremor, the OBJ