The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1877-10-18
a9- A gentleman who came dow

cd now GlIucS WcIt III tH1aG ecCGiOu. 1Ac
said: "About all I have heard Of
lately is a joke on an editor, who, go
ing away, left his paper in charge Of
a minister. During the ministers
stay in the sanctum the following let
ter came from a mountain subscriber
you know very we'll I paid my sub
scription to your paper the last time I
was in Lexington. If I get any more
such letters from you as 1 received last
week Twill come down to Lexington
and maui HI out of you! The
minister answered: I have been
trying to maui that thing out of the
editor for ten years past, and if you
will really come down and maui it out
of him, then, my dear sir, I have
twenty members Of my church [ will
also get you to operate on ,"
@ A jury has found a man
guilty, and then recommended him to
mercy, because it was not clearly
proved that he bad committed the
offense charged against him. There
was less logic in its proceeding than
in that of the jury who, although a
prisoner confessed himself guilty, yet
acquitted him because, as the fore
man afterward explained to the as
tonished Judge, the prisoner was such
liar that it could not believe him.
p9 At the police-court a confirmed
rascal is seated beside a gendarme,
who keeps a fatherly eye upon him,
and, noticing that his prisoner is anx-
iously looking around, rs if calcula-
ting his chances for making success
full bolt, remarks, afably, "Keep quiet,
take your time; no hurry. When
your turn comes they'll call your name.
You'll lose nothing by waiting" Pris-
oner-"Yes l will-my liberty"
@ A man picked up purse in
the street and advertised the fact. In
ten days he was visited by sixty-one
men, women, boys and girls, all claim
ing to have lost money. The sum was
but $11, but of each visitor who called
the finder asked: $50 you lost $50, did
youY Nine-tenths Of the applicants
promptly replied, eyes, sir" "Ah,"
said he, "yours was another purse"
@ K, walking with clever doc
tor, meets a pretty woman, to whom
the doctor bows. "Who is she, eh?''
"a patient" "EIer bow was almost a
cut-fty below" POSSIBLY. We're
not on the best of terms. You see, I
was called to attend hef husband and
had the MISFORTUNE "Oh, 1 see
to let him die." "No, to let him get
we'll"
ng- An Irishman, fresh from the
"old country" saw turtle for the
first time, and at once made up his
mind to capture it. The turtle caught
him by the finger, and he, holding it
out at arms-leDgth, said: "Faith, and
We had better let loose the how'll ye
have, or I'll kick ye out Of the very
box ye sit in, be jabers."
@ One test of a great mind is its
instantaneous availability in an emer-
gency. The boy who can drop pa
per bag of eggs on the sidewalk and
pass on without changing his gait, in
tterrupting his whistle, or looking at
what he has dropped, has a future be-
fore him, and perhaps something un-
pleasant behind him.
p9 "My dear boy" said mother
to her son, as he handed round his
plate for more turkey, "this is the
fourth time you've been helped" 81
know, mother" replied the boy, "but
that turkey pecked at me once, and |
want to get square with him." He
got his turkey.
sw At a duel the parties dischar-
ged their pistols without effect, where
upon u one of the seconds interfered,
and proposed that the combatants
should shake hands. To this the 9th
er second objected as unnecessary
"for," said he, "their hands have been
shaking this half hour"
B@n A boy FIVE years Of age having
stolen can of milk, his mother took
him to task with moral suasion, and
wound up her discourse by exclaim
ing, "What in the world were you 60
ing to do with the milk?" II wa'
going to steal dog to drink it" was
the crushing reply.
e@ "Why," asked a teacher in the
Sunday school, "did Solomon tell tht
sluggard to 60 to the ant :" Because
said a thirteen-year-old boy, che knew
his aunt would have him at the wood
pile or the onion-bed every afternoon
as soon as school is out"
s@ The Major, (rockng Nelly OF
his knee, for Aunt ldary's sake.) Z"
suppose this is what you like, Nelly?'
| Nnj1v wYoo it's varv nsce Rut