The New York herald., 1877-07-23
A GONE EXCURSION.
From the Detroit Froo Press, July 20

From the Detroit Free Press July 20
II you had looked into the corridor ut the Central
Station yesterday afternoon you would have seen q
long, shiny sticking through the barred door Of
cell No T. and you might havo hoard lonesome voice
crying OUT
''rultin' me In here won't make bit OF dieren nee
III rip and tear all the harder when git outl''
HIS is Wobb He Is the oldest son of an old
farmer IN Greenfield township He was In town tho
other day with produce, and just ho ready to
leave The market u boy approached HIM and asked
n he didn't want to buy church excursion ticket
half prco. II TO be beautiful excursion. tho
boy said with icc-crcam und lemonade aud handsome
girls aud bushtul widows a over boat, there
would be soft usic by tue band sweet singing w The
cnoir and shadowy angels would % hovering near 10
pick up the awful good childron who tunbled over
board.
I'n right there, buo " replied the Oldest son,
went his vest tor quarter and he further
that ne'a for years haukerng 70 80 on boss
excursion up the river.
The ticket read that tho boat would leave her dock
at sharp n,uo O'Clock A. NJ. OF Thursday. The Oldest
son time. He went to the foot OF Woodward
and Kept his eyo looking Tor the steamer
Northwest. Il didn't see any church dsacons around
No crowds OF white robed children surrounded him.
Al ten O'Clock the Oldest pulled out his card,
walked up TO a knot OF men and remarked
elias this excursion yoneY"
"rhat excursion" replied ono Of the men, as he
read the ticket "tooK place three weeks ago this
morning"
.And I'm left!"
"Yes s'r.y0Y arc just twenty days and some odd
hours 100 late. +"
II paid two shillings for this ticket" grmly observed
the Oldest at calls Tor excursion. I've got
bread and butter ami and currants and pint
bottle full oi this basket, and Pm going the
excursion know the reason why"
"fhere are several reasons why" laughed the
crowd.
"GentIemon. trot out your steamboat" said Mr..
Webb.
They laughed again.
"Gentlemen, l give sou just two minutes to pull
your old steamer around nerel"
More laughing.
.Gontiemcn. Pm no blowhard. want my rights,
and Pm going to have em. l amt going TO plank
down two shnRs In cash, SIT up half night TO grease
my boots, sew on buttons and OIL up my huir, ride
twelve miles IN old wagon and find the boat gone
aud not lot iolks know how feel about It Bring on
your boat
"Ws don't own no boat" they answered.
''Can't help it; ! hold you responsible. Puff your
old boat around hero IN climb the whole townl"
He put down his bundle IN, the odds being
eleven TO one He hadn't spit on his hands three
times before he all twisted out OF shape, and
good share Of mis- body amned INTO Old cheese
A policeman pred him out united the knois In his
legs, smoohed out the kinks IN his spinal column aud
led him away 70 the station.
"D0nt that call Tor un excursionf" demanded Mr.
Webb he slammed his ticket down before the
captain. 'lt does, II l know how 10 read, and now
where is the excursionr"
'GOne" was brief answer.
swell, haIn't gone. Pm right here. Pm waiting
for that boat and n she doesn't come I'll up
uown this town like festive cyclonel l'n give you
just Two minutos TO put mo aboard OF the