The Centre reporter. [volume] (Centre Hall, Pa.) 1871-1940, 1877-06-14

An unpopular olub-The policeman's
Do not aspire 10 send your iavotn be-
yond the sun.
Advice 10 young men about r. settle
doteH. Settle up first.
Gossip is the putting Of two and two
together and milking i've Of them.
Among the late important State events
in Europe arc the deaths oi bismarck a
dog aud the sultan's cat.
A school teacher in Fort Wayne. Ind.
fills the mouths Of offending pupils with
/ cayenne pepper. Possibly 10 make them
smart.
A pretty Tennessee girl has patented
a combined harrow and stalk-outteF.
Most girls, however, prefer 70 harrow In
the old way.
When you see a tramp boiling his
weekly meal you are comforted with the
reflection that beyond peradventure
-four is going down.
A Japanese student newly arrived In
this country thought we were OIL doctors,
because everybody took his hand and
asked after his health.
We can console ourselves for not hav-
ing great talents, as we console ourselves
for not having great place. We can bo
above both IN our hearts.
A little boy came 10 his mother re-
Gently and said Mamma, / should
think il / was made of dust, should
get muddy inside when drink.
The fashions In gentlemen's clothing
rarely ever vary. We have il from good
authority that the style this season win
be pair Of pants, vest Snd coat, aa
usual.
A French artist who took part IN the
destruction of the Column Vendome in
Paris, during the reign Of the C0mmune,
hes been sentenced 10 pay a fine Of
$50, 900.
The season fast approaches when tho
Young man with finances b cover just
two plates oi ice cream awaits breath
lesRly the answer 20: win y0u have
some cake ?"
A box Of grasshoppers eggs from the
United States b the editor Of Canada
newspaper hntched ont the other day in
a drawer into which they were put fo-
safe keeping.
The practice q stealing hymn books
i said 10 prevail b an alarming extent
IN some of the fashionable churches In
New York which are most frequeuted
by strangers.
Ia Philadelphia court, the other day,
4 man named M0isten was defended BY a
lawyer named Goforth. II il no unusnai
thing to see a lawyer and his client Go
forth and Moisten-
THE name Of n new novel il The
Wrongful Heir; or, The Mystery a. the
Falls. Ii must be a companion 20 that
charming romance. entitled The False
Hair; or, Tie Mysterious Waterfall
The following Advertisement recently
appeared in New Haven journal Any
person having five 10 fsty loads Of
manure 30 dispose Of viii please send
word on drop L through the Post-osiice. "
A New jersey firm has lost 800, 900
in experiments 20 End ont how to dye
plush for silk hats. The best that can
be produced in America turns brown
under the hot ircn. Hence the high
price Of silk hats.
Oregon has a new expodienl for keep
ing her citizens sober. Every man Who
drinks l. Obliged 10 take out license
costing So. It ia penal ofiense for any
liquor dealer DO sell q drink 10 al IN
licensed person
A New Hampshire paper relates that
at Newton in that State, mad dog, after
having been wounded, Took refuge i'm a
barn, where some OF the hay became
soaked with his blood The bay was fed
10 a horse, which went mad
A mocking bird entered q Methodist
church nc jackson, Tenn, and after
circling around the room, lii on the rail-
ing Of the altar, where i sat ia attentive
silence till the close Of the sermon, when
II wnrbled some of It's sweetest notes and
sailed away.
A portly gentleman crowded himself
into horse car next a young man, who
said: " Perhaps yon would not crowd
In here II you Knew / bad just had the
smallpox. = oh, that's nothing, " was
the reply; for this il the first time
have been out since1 had il myself. :"
The sangninAry incubation Of military
despotisins on mnltitndinous millions Of
passive and unchronicled serfs presents
a sa1nher canopy, but we know Of moth
ing 40 well calculated 10 take the vim
ont Of a married man as for his wife 20
ask him 10 beat that old carpet hanging
ON the line, Just as be has got started for
his Office in the city, with only three
minutes to catch the cars.