Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1877-12-07
NASBY.
He commits MatrimOny" and Suffers
the Terrible Results.
Toledo Blade

(Wlch IS In the State OF ken.,)
Nov. 18, 1877.
The polissy NV the yoosurper hez ben
my room. Probably there amt more
mizerable man in the entire State, and
that is sayin a great deel, for don't
know NV any State that hez more miz-
cradle men, nor one in wich the mizera-
BILE men are quite ez mizerable.
That mizerable wretch Joe Bigler, he
come to me day before Yesterday, and
sejested that ez the President-sic is
his term for the yooserper-had put out
an olive branch of amity and concord
between the two races, it wood be a
graceful thing eff Kentuckian-a white
Kentuckian-should accept it, and dem
onstrate his sincerity by marryin one NV
the inferior race, wich is now our ckals
afore the law.
Sir!' sed l, assoomin stern and i4=
joored look, "do you dare to sejest sich
thing to me! To me, Kentuckian,
that is, Kentuckian by brevet? Dare
you make me proposhen at wich every
drop Nv Anglo Saxon blood in my vanes
boils with horror? Avant!''
He didn't avant, however, but went on
to say, that in the outskirts Nv the vii
lage there wuz culord woman wich had
a cabin, and very comfortable one, and
he believed, some money. At all evence
she wuz excellent washer and ironer,
and Good support husband in fairly
good stile by her labor.
And you know, Nasby, it more than
three years before you kin inaugoorate
a Dimocratic President, ef you elect
him; and ef you doc, you have to take
the chances Nv gittin your place agin
score Nv hungry Dimocrats, who want it
ez bad ez you do. Think Nv three years
NV comparative comfort
Bascom struck in to-wunst, for he saw
his chance NV maxim me cash custom
er, KNOWN that he wood get nine tenths
Nv wat the woman wood earn, and Dee
kin Pogram who has been wantin suthin
on wat have been borrerin NV him all
NV these weary years, urged it very
strongly.
In the good old times" he sighed, "we
had no scruples about niggers, except in
the matter Nv goin through the formali-
ty Nv marryin EN-"
And when thought Nv comfortable
home with muscular female furnishin
the supplys, great deal NV the disgust
that felt at marryin nigger evaporat-
ed, and | determined to do 1t. A fatal
conclusion!
l proposed the next morning at 9; she
accepted, and before 10 we wuz ez firm
ly married ez Justis NV the Peece
Good do it. | Yuz wunst more the heed
wv q family. The Justis and witnesses
all left the house and wewuz alone with
our luv.
Melindy sot ther with her hands fold
ed, and broad grin distendin her capa-
shus mouth, and | sot there with feelins
Nv gratitude for yooserper whose poll
sy had led to result so pleasant for me
to contemplate That woman Good earn
dollar day. Good feed her and my.
self on ten cents-I eat very little, and
bacon is cheap here, eff it is poor-and
the other ninety! | saw before me un-
limited drinks-I saw before me long
life in Bascom's bar, with an occasional
trip to Louisville. And that human ma
sheen a-scrubbin away furnishin NV the
meens! 1t wuz gorgeous dreem-oh,
wood that I had never been awakened
from it. That wuz a good time to die,
while l felt well, and wish that / had
died.
" Melindy, darlin," spoke gently, sin
the new relations we have assoomed, we
must not forgit that life has its dooties.
Very pleasant is luv's young dream, and
well wood it be for us if we Good linger
in it and pass our entire lives under its
bewitchin spell. But, Melindy, we can't.
Love is representa- ez with particular
ly plump stummick, wich shows that it
has been filled We can't exist on luv.
We need bacon, and sich Therefore,
Melindy, wake from your dream and git
to that wash-tub, Them clothes must
be out and on the line by noon. And,
Melindy, give to me, your legal lord and
MASTER what loose change you have in
yoor possesshen, for | have biznis up
town.
Wat did this woman do!
She remarked
"Duz yoo s'pose Tze gwyne to sport
700 by washin?"
''Certinly l do, my deer-what other
perfeshen have YEP
'Ye dug, duz YEP
"Uv coorse, and you don't want to
lose no time. Wat does Solomon say NV
the model woman? She glitch up while
it is yit mite, and she weavith fine goods
wich she selleth to the merchants, and
her husband sitteth in the gate with the
elders, or words to that effect; we can't
be exactly scriptooral, you see, for you
don't weeve, but you wash, wich is the
same thing, and yoor husband is goin to
do ez the Israelite husband, he is goin
to sit in the gates at Bascom's. To yoor
tub, Melindy."
That wretched woman rose deliberate
ly and regarded me intently for a mo-
ment. Then she walked to where that
tub wuz standin, and tipped it over on
the floor
woman. wat duz this meen?" l cx-
claimed.
"Meen? 1t meens dat | didn't marry
to sport husband-I married to be
S ported. 1t meens dat 700 hev got to
git de plies-l'll cook EN-, and help to
eat em, but no mo washin for dis chile.
Yoo git out to yoor work.
And she picked up that tub, and her
washboard, and wat soap there was left,
and went to Pollock's and traded EN- of
for sum arti6shal flowers for her bride
bonnit, ez she sed, and she cum and sot
down in dat bonnit, and refused to do
thing, till went out and got suthin for
her to cook.
1t wuz a bitter mite | past Melindy
had some pervishens hidden away, wich
l coodn't git at, and by mite l wuz fear
fully week, while she wuz ez strong. ex
ever. | attempted coershun, wich endid
in my being dragged over the floor for
an hour or two and finally kicked out NV
the door in cold rain. In vane | beg
ged for admishun. That mfcelin woman
went quietly to her couch, and | stayed
out all mite in the wet, listening to her
comfortable snores.
But my cup wuzn't full Joe Biglcr
and Pollock went afore a justis NV the
peece and complained NV me for not
supportin my family, and l wuz the
choice Nv goin to work or goin to Jail,
and Malinda she appeered with charge
NV assalt and battery, and gineral inhu-
man treatment, and the justis-they
took me afore niger justis at Liberty
ville,-6ned me so, and committed me
till it wuz paid. / write these lines in
lookup; thank heaven while stay they
have got to feed me.
More than ever do hate the yooser-
per. More than ever do l curse the fell
sperit NV ablishism, which hez brot this
room upon me. In the good old days l
4 \