Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1877-05-10
H1l7llOr.
A BARRIERS epitaph-He died and made

no sign.
Look out for drunk en- pigs when ale
comes in hogsheads.
A young lady says IF cart>wheel has
nine fellows attached to 1t, it's a pity that
a girl like her can't have one!"
] A blind merdicant in Paris wears this
Inscription around his neck Don't be
ashamed to give only sou. I can't see. y
"My son, remember that your character
ought to shine brighter than your boots.
Suppose l blacken it, then, fathcr?"
Mr.. Simmis says if it wasn't for the
hole in the hoop you couldn't put it on
the barrel, and the barrel would burst.
A man who has been at crowded ball
said he was fond of rings on his fingers,
but he didn't admire bellies on his toes.
While q man was singing the other day,
''There's Good Time Coming,' another
man arose and said, "Would you kindly
fix the exact date?''
A preacher said, Every tub must stand
on its own bOttom.'' A sailor jumped
up and said, "But, sir, suppose it has no
bottom?'' Then, il's no tub" returned
he, quickly, and went on with tho SER
mon.
Two sable philosophers took shelter un.
der the same tree during heavy shower.
After sometime, one of them complained
that he felt the rain, ''Neber mind" re-
piled the other, t'dere's plenty OF trees
When dis un is wet through we'll go to
de oder.''
81 say, Paddy, that is the worst look,
ing horse you drive l ever saw. Why
don't you fatten him up?" "Fat him up,
Is it? Faix, the poor baete can hardly
carry the little mate that's on him now,"
replied Paddy.
A comprehensive school-inspector asked
an Aberdeen class if any one could tell
him anything remarkable in the life of
Moses. Boys: "Yes sir; he was the only
man that broke all the commandments at
once.''
The question arising in Sunday school
as to why God created all the animals Of
the field and sea and air, before man, no
one gave a solution to it until little boy
said: Il know; It's because lie didn',
want the man hanging around while ne
was making 'em."
"Barbcr," said farmer TO his tonsor,
''now corn's cheap, you ought to shave
for half price" ''Can't Mr.. jones' said
the man of razors. II really ought to
charge more; for when corn's down the
farmers make such long faces that have
twice the ground to 20 over"
The soldiers at the United States Ar
senal, Summerville. Georgia, had pc,
monkey, 1t concluded to fire salute
with one of the cannon, and touched fire
to the fuse of loaded one. 1t didn't go off
Immediately, and he ran and peeped into
the mouth to see what was the matter
At this juncture it went off-so did the
monkey.
O! the snore, the beautiful snore, filling
the chamber from ceiling to floor! Over
the coverlet, under the sheet, from hel
wee dimpled chin to her pretty feet! Now
rising aloft like bee in June; now sunk
to the wall of a cracked bassoOn: now
Hute-like. subsiding, then rising again, is
the beautiful snore of Elizabeth Jane!
An inebriated individual fell down 6
fight of stairs the other night, end 8
passer-by, fearing him seriously injured
ran to pick him up. But the man majest
E ical1y staggered to his feet, and in Response
tc the proffered aid, roared out: NOV
you jes let lone. Wan no sloboerin
8 round me. allus come down stairs tha
, way"