, 1877-11-04

! mems Benevolent Association, which is one Q
| the most deserving e}eemosvnary Institutions il
tion, February, 1865, to the beginning OF tn
present year, embrace the following: Widow:
and orphans, $24,o4422; ,o4422; benefits aud donations
S4,6125o; funeral expenses, S., ,020.Ss; legal ex
penses. 81, LAS; printing and miscellaneous
Stills; Secretary's. salary, $50: Thes
| figures speak eloquently in behalf Of the claim
OF the Association. The policemau's lot Is :
sorry one at best. He is exposed to the nos1
lnclelnert weather, and in the protection OF tn
life and property of our citizens carries his ift
] in his hanus VS. the mortality and accident rec
ords. of the force during the past eight or nine
years plainly Indicate. For this reason this
Benevolent Association should receive tilt
cheerful cooperation OF the public
About this season OF the year the housckcep
Ing women OF Chicago begin to arrange tt,cil
the amount OF preserves theG put up during
the year. ''Sise Is very respectable
! woman, Mrs. Branureth," said Resident
OF the Thirteenth Ward the other day, $. shc
! put up eleven dozen. Cats OF peaches, and her
! preserved pears are as white and whole as they
! ln be. Mrs. Fathers Is ! shittlcss woman, and
| never will come to any good. She burned the
hottom Of a new pscserslng-kettle aud her cur
rants didn't 1cll. AS tol the Fra!eighs, though
they put On such airs think they are as poor US
chureh-nice; for Mrs. Fralcigh ouly put up some
rcd plu!ns and crab-apulrs, and Used old pickle
jars FOR thc1n, and 90: sugar eleven pounds for
adollar. As Tor Mrs. Hyatt, she was brought
up at Vassar, and what tan yoll expert Of such
a creature: Size knew all about astrn9ogy, and
biography, and things like that, but she never
put 1nosscl o1 Aorsc-radlsh in her tomato cat
sup, and as for her red raspteTlcs, every pot OF
them 1crmeul e,i before she had had them on the
shelves week."
Tue comic paragraphist looked up from his
work with such briy Ut, smiling face, that lis
wife lnstinctiyely knew he had struck rich
bonanza Of h1luior What is il, Algernon!"
she asked. 'sIyc got bully good joke" said
he; ''soulething that will be stolen BY every
newspaper in the country. will read it to
you: tAs the plumber was---'" 40, AL
!sernon,' said his wife, reproachfuliy, lido not,
/ bcseech you, make jokes about plumb
ers. Recollect that the winter will
soon be here, and the cold winds
will blow, and We shall have snow, and our pipes
will freeze up and then when we senu to the
plumber he will say, That's the hirefinG jester
that writes cotulc obituary matter Tor Tue
TRIBUNE, isn't it! Well, I'll send a man round
by-anl-by.s Q, Algernon, would you hnve the
taby and n,c freeze to death. and there be no
water for you to shave with, and have to borrow
water from the people next door, anh have the
washing and The DISHES put oil till afternoon!
., Algcruon, do not-l pray you do not take
else, esen about Inv dear mother, but do not-I
lmplore you do not attack tho plumber. We
shall be ruined; and for what E" aud she cast her
sell weeping at his feet. Her tears triulnphed
anu 0eSt JOKE LItaL ever WIS tnAuE lies locked
within the secret recesses Of his bosom.
The Female Employment Bureau of the
Wo1nan's Christian Association has removed its
quarters to 81 and o. Washington street, Room
t. and it wishes to make 4 strong appeal to Lhe
benevolent hearts OF tie good people of Chraeo.
10 sit in their rooms tor short time to listen
and learn aud toa see what these ladies are
doing for better class Of poor reminds one Of
those terrible days few months after
the great fire, when this same class we're ask
ing Tor help and work. NOW many are coming
whose little savings Of a lifetime have gone i'll
toese people are begging for charity; they ask
for something to DO whereby the outlook !
for this winter may be frightened. |
Companions, nurses, sca1nstrcsses, aud copyists ]
are seeking places. Young strangers coming TO |
the city are directed to tile ". c. A., many |
bringing with them letters Of recommendation |
froul other associations. As work slackcns in !
the country, they will come to the city, and the
question in all its bearings comes up with great /
force: >'What shall VIC do with thctn!" Steady |
employment We wish to give, aud it shirt-man-
ufacturers, clothing houses, where women are
employed candy factories, and those in need Of |
copyists, as we'll as families, will please be sure
and remember the Wolnan's Christian Asso-
Room e. the question will then be in great !
measure satisfactorily answered
1t is well known that the new A. D. 7. Co.'s
Instruments have eight regular calls pro-
yided for on the dials, while blanks are left for
three other calls, the nature Of which is decided
By an arrangement between the subscriber and
the Company. For instance, one man has ar
ranged thai whenever he turns in No. the
signal shall be regarded as the equivalent OF
wink to the genius who presides over soda
fountain, and that there shall instantaneously
he produced from a designated saloon o cock
tail Of certain ca1ibre- In another case, when
No. s is turned in, the operator will
Immediately understand that the subscribers
premises have been invaded By q surprise
oartr, and the whole force Of the office
Siberian bloodhounds, puEposeiy
'nly led in the morning, will constitute the I'D
'anced guard OF the rescuing force, and before
hese canine skirnlisbcrs have more than torn a |
.uests to the condition Of revolutionary sans |
uottes the main body OF policemen will have |
one up, and, taking the surpTise-party ior i !
mob OF strikers entcayoriug to sack the house !
# q railroad President, CLUB its members with |
much zeal aud impartiality. 1T is not likely !
nat any surprise-party will have been able to
withstand successfully these assaults, but if !
norc vigorous measures OF repression he ncces-
arr the big chemical engine will be along in
uothcr minute or two and begin a discharge
lpon them Of a solution that will inevitably (
uin their clothes and drcnch them to the skin.
n these methods is Franklin's great discovery
/ electricity made subseryicnt to tue necesei-
les OF everyday life.
THE GARDNER HOUSE TROUBLES.
About three months ago one Rufus King flied
bill against Luther B. and Virginia R. Brady, | !
eling how he had made an arrangement with !
hem ly which he was to own the eating DEPART .
lent Of The Gardner House, while they at~ !
cnded to letting rooms for dodgers. &c !
lamcd to have incurred largceype IN fitting [
. dining-room and kitchen, but alleged that
Icy had not kept their part Of the contract, .
nd asked to have an account taken =
~ 1aI tnrt]n ,,5N