South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1877-02-02
W.T. AND r1Ur1ou.

E1'"We've got to economics. or this
country is ruined" was tho soliloquy OF
u Detroit husband rs be kirdled fire
with his uife's hustle.
1A venerable divine, who had been
dining ont the night before, went into a
BARRIERS shop one morning to be shaved.
He saw that the barber had been getting
more drink than was good for him, for
1t made his hand shake very mach, and,
naturally little indignant. he began to
give him little moral advice by saying,
bad thing drink" YES" said tile
barber. ''it makes the skin remarkably
tender"
CRA woman is either worth a good
deal or nothing. If good for nothing,
she is not worth getting jealous for-if
she be q true oran she will give no
cause for jealousy. A man is n brute
TO be Jealous Of a worthless one. hut lie
is double fool 10 cut lis ihroa: for
either of them.
1'A promising youth or only seven
summers, who had been accused of not
always telling the truth, cross examined
his father. Father, did you use to lie
when you were boy?" mo, ms son.
said the paternal, who evidently did not
recall the past with any distinctness.--
"Nor mother, cither?" persisted the
young lawyer. NO; but why?" "Oh.
because don't see how two people who
never told a lie could have q boy that
tells rs many as l do.
WHO'S TALKIN ABOUT WAu?"-Old
ST was standing in crowd ut the depot,
when ole Of the darkics present re.
marked:
LEI dat wah do come, heah's one Mig
ger dat amt gwinc to sasshay in hit -
"Wah? Who's talkin' bout emmy
wah!" asked Old ST.
"I herd hit round hyar among the
darkics ginrally."
WHO'S gwine ter fight i'm dat walip'
1.-The white folks and de publican
party, OATS my onderstandin'
"Shucks! Does emmy ob yer s'pose
dat de white folks down hyar is gwine
TO anodder wah?"
"Deys mighty rampantus bout dis
'lecshun. don't yer forget dat?"
III
stumpy-tail fox go an back hisself agin
a steel trap de second time, sap"
No, i nebber did"
Den yer amt gwine to see desc heah
people go ter no wah !"
"Ye bet'r no say dat ter meme OBJ desc
white foxes"
"Yas, I will do dat too, 'kase why
shouldn't"
.Dey'li go FOR yer eff yer talk dat ter
dem"
"Shew, niger yer don't know what
yer sayin. When ispealss that ter way,
now TEX keer. Hit aim't no insult TO
the white Suthern peoples bravery, but
hits moughty big recommendation eb
der Judgment
You are right old, man." said white
man near by, and ST had the crowd at n
Neutrality-suspicious. Ga. Herald.
sT"My friends" said minister, as
preface to his sermon. "let us say
few words before we begin"
~ gentleman travelling through
one Of the most picturesque portions OF
the White Mountain region, saw far.
mer at work, and being Of sociable
disposition, approached the man and
expatiated on tho beauty and majesty
Of the surrounding scenery, concluding
with the remark II suppose, my friend.
you enjoy this glorious view that people
ccmo 50 far to look at?" "Why, yes,"
was the response; "but if I'd had the
sortin' of these hills I'll made EN- lit
tie peakeder."
EvA young lady at Niagara was
heard to exclaim: What an elegant
trimming that rainbow would make for
white lace over dress -
"JoHNsoN's CONS "A friend Of
ours says the New Yorl, Express, who at.
tended sable might meeting" reports
As follows: "Then Mr.. johnson arose