The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-12-14
salad.

The car punch is failure too. On
iy the milk punch is left US now
Rochester Dem.
s'There's good time coming, boys,
but it is good time coming, bOys."-
Rochester Times.
a rumor has reached town that there
is trout up in the northern part of
the country, and an expedition will
probably be organized to capture him
or wear the brooks out.-Bridgeport
Sta ndard.
Joaquin Miller tells ola heroine who
fswepG the lonesome sea with her tan
gled hair.'' He ought to have had her
sprinkle it first with her cross-eyed
tears, so as not TO raise the dust.-Wor-
cester Press.
The Cincinnati Commercial says -
"Why is it that editors never commit
suicide? 2" The Burlington Hawkeye
has investigated this subject a little,
and thinks it is because the druggists
won't sell strYchnine on long time.9
Alexander II. Stephens is enjoying
better health. He is now so fully ma
terialized that he dOn't. have to spread
newspaper on cane seat chair to
keep from falling through the meshes.
l-Easton Free Press.
gSptologist'' writes to know if
Cleopatra did her own sewing. We
can't say positively, but from what lit
the we remember of that ancient lady
we think if she sowed anything it was
wild oats.-Bur. Hawkeye.
| A waiter at one OF the Atlantic City
hotels, Dane, converses with the
| guests in five European languages
but unless he can carry plate of soup
without immersing his thumbs two
inches in the liquid, his education is
far from complete.-Nor. Her.
Recently a newly married couple
were in store on State street looking
for suitable ornaments with which to
adOrn their rooms. The young wife
was quite pleased with the motto enti-
tied "Suffer little children to come unto
me-" which they bury
port Herald.
Old gentleman Examining what he
believes to be war map1-'Although
| can trace the route of the Russians
In their last movements, do wish they
would make these war maps a little
palmer Daughter--'Why, father,
that's my Bazaar pattern paper you
have got hold of.'-Harper's Weekly.
1t was very careless 10 leave the par
rot in the parlOr Sunday evening, but
she never thought anything about it
4 until Monday morning, when he rous-
I ed the whole house by making a smack
ing noise and crying: "Darling Susie
darling Susier He kept it up all day,
and the old folks are much interested
in the case.-Rome Sentinel.
At a party on West Hill the other
night, the war was under discussion,
whenia literary young lady, who just
dotes on Wawkeen Miller, asked, sWho
are the Bashful Bazonks, anyhow p
She was promptly referred to the four
very young men in high collars and
Presbyterian wbiskers, who were try
ing to sit on the one chair nearest the
door.-BurlingtOn Hawkeye.
Two boys sat on the grass on Led
yard street yesterday and played cards.
A citizen who knows that card playing
leads into the broad road ofWiekedness
halted and said to one of the players /;
All my boy, don't you know that you
are in fair way to be ruined p Il am
ehP replied the youngster as he held
up his hand OF cards and showed four
trumps and an ace: you just hold on
here a minute, and ii lon't show you
that tile other boy is all Wrenched to
| pieces and ruiRed to death III eat the
jack of spades.' He was taking every
trick as the citizen passed on.-Det
Free Press.