davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-08

THE Supreme Court at Washington
has Just made a decision in the case OF
Shields VS.. the State of Ohio; error to
the Supreme Court of Ohio. In this case
the plaintiff in error, who was conductor
ON the Lake Shore and Michigan South
ern Railway, between Elgin and Cleve-
land, put one Ulrick off the car for re,
fusing TO pay more than three cents pei
mile, under the general law of the State
limiting fares to this rate. Suit for as
sault was sustained against the con
ductor, the Courtinstructing the jury tina
he had no legal right to demand NOR
than was rendered by the passenger, ant
the judgment below is here affirmed.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-08

"THERE are but two fine things IN
the world" says Malherbe, women and
roses" Lessing exclaims: Woman Is
the masterpiece of the universe" Bour.
bon says: 1.-The pearl is the image OF
purity, but woman is purer than the
pearl" Thackeray writes: g good wo-
man is the loveliest flower that blooms
under heaven" Balzac says: =" Even
the errors of woman spring from her
faith in the good" Voltaire declares;
"All the reasonings of men are not worth
one sentiment of woman" l4amartlne
asserts that women have more heart
| imagination than men. otway eN,
claims: "Oh, woman! lovely woman
Nature made thee to temper men. we
had been brutes without you. Burns
says:
| "God tried his novice hand ON man, '--,
And then He made the lassesl OH
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-08

NEW YORK Herald: The man who
has been looking for a sea serpent all
summer has returned and is looking for
an oyster in church fair stew.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-08

RUSSIAN ladies are always very anx-
ious to marry, because they have no lib
erty before marriage.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-08

ATLANTA Constitution: A North Car
olina WAGNER sold his dog to Laurens
County man the other day for hall
barrel of sorghum syrup. The dog
however, refused to be sold, and took
refuge under the wagon. The Laurens
County man crawled after him with a
niece of meat in one hand and rope IN
the other. Although there were several
SPECTATORS of the scene that ensued, 1t Is
difficult to get at the facts. All agree
that there was scuffie under the
wagon, accompanied by yelps and yells;
but no one is willing to affirm that the
man had the dog or the dog had the
man. Finally the dog, as it would
seem, brushed up against the hind legs
of the off mule, and then all was still.
II is not certain what killed the dog.
One of the spectators said he thought he
heard a trace-chain rattle, but when ne
went around to examine the mule she
was asleep. The man had lost his hat,
his coat and the greater part of has
trowsers, and subsequent examination
proved that the dog died with one ear
and handful of hair in his mouth.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-08

THE highest rent paid in London for
private residence is that paid to Sir
Richard Sutton for Cambridge House,
Picadilly - fifteen thousand dollars
year-by the Naval and Military Club.
Cambridge House was let by Sir Rich
ards father, a famous sporting baronet
(who used to declare that his pheasants
cost him pound apiece, such was the
immense sum he spent on his Norfolk
preserves), to the Queens queer old
uncle, the late Duke of Cambridge, and
thence was called Cambridge House. 1t
was while driving out of its courtyard
that the last attempt was made to assault
Oueen Victoria. At the Dukes death 1t
became famous for many years as the
residence of Lord and Lady Palmerston
in their palmiest days, when every
Saturday evening, from February to
August, its saloons were thronged with
the celebrities of the day. Lord Pal
merston paid a rent of $4,000 year.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-08

Moses was born, still stands erect. In
the temple of Luxor there is one of
seventy-five feet in height, the mate of
that in Paris. Karnak possesses four, two
of which are ninety-two feet high; and
in the granite quarries at Assouan lies a
supreme monolith of ninety-fve feet,
which appears to have been left there on
account of flaw in the stone. All these
keep their original places, and the ruins
of the ages recorded in their inscriptions
lie around them. The obelisk which is
destined for New York has height OF
seventy-one feet, with base of seven
feet seven inches square; its material Is
the rose-gray granite of Assouan, the
ancient Syenne
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-08

seven members to represent this House at tn
funeral Obsequies.
Resolued, As further mark of respect, this Hou
do now adjourn.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-08
PASSING SMILES.

He that does base thing in zeal fo
his friend burns the golden thread that
ties their hearts together.-Jeremy Iay-
Lnr
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-08
has any brains !

Wheeling, sneezing all the day;
Eyes watery and streaming;
Coughing in shattered way -
Poor nose red, and poor cheeks gray;
Now voiceless and now screaming.
Pains and aches in every limb;
Poor features sadly puffy,
Hearing gone, and eyesight dim;
Sad, detected, solemn, grim:
Head heavy, hot, and stuffy.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-11-08
Public Debt Statement.

The following is the public debt statement for the
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31

Yesterday afternoon a clother on Clark Street
found himself on the verge of making sale to a
suspicious customer. The article was an army
oyercoat that had been through the campaigns
of the Potomac, the James, the Tennessee, and
the Mississippi, and at the conclusion of the war
had been dishonorably discharged to become sue
cessively the prey of an italian organ grinder,
negro feamster, and streetcar driver. The
clothier fitted it on the customer, and hauling in
about seven feet of the slack between the shoul-
ders, had just advised him that it fitted him like
paper on the WALL when he observed that his
customer was softly shifting to the right and left,
as if he suspected that the garment was odorons
as well as old. 1t was occasion that wanted
prompt and decided action, and the clothier was
fully equal to the emergency, for, with candor
and conviction wholly unmixed with bashful-
ness, he smote himself on the breast and cried !:
sPerhaps you tink dose goat schmels! 1t ish
not dose goat dat schmells-it ish E"'-C Chicago
Tribune
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31
The Boys Wish.

The other night about 10 o'clock, policeman
passing along Larned street, east, came upon a
boy who was walking up and down in front of a
house, and when the Lad was asked if he lived
there and why he did not 60 in, he replied:
"Dad's waiting for me with whip"
"Going to dust your jacket, is her
THAT'S the programme" sighed the boy, 'un-
less can think up something to unfas ten his
mind from the subject. If l could rush in and
tell him that a big fire was raging down town, or
that the Mayor was dead, some such thing,
he'd be taken by surprise, and forget all about
dressing me down."
"And you can't think of anything elsei"
"Not thing. 1 wish the old gent was in the
habit of stealing his wood, getting into the
House Of Correction, or doing something that
would give me hold on him, but he's straighter
than an Alderman's elbow."-Detroit Free Press
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31
VEGETINE.
He Says it is True.
SENECA FALLS, Nov. 9, 1s1G.


Mr. ii. Il. STEVENS
Dear Sr-As You are an entire stranger to me- want
you to know what VEGETINE has done for me. Only
those who have been raised from death door, know
the value of such good medicine. am Sc years of
Three years ago taken sick with what the doctors
called Lumbaso. For weeks confined to my bed.
had three different physicians, without any help re-
ceived relief was great sufferer; finally became
entirely helpless The last doctor told there
help he said he might possibly my life by injecting
morphine in and legs. The encouragement for
saving my life by having this done small chance
could not consent to the risk. About this time
read your advertisement in paper testimony of
person who had been very sick with about the same
complaint, and cured. My went right away to
the apothe store and bought bottle fVEGETISE
had used the first bottle found great relief;
could myself in bed. After taking three bottles
able to sit up and move about room. continued
taking the Vegene, and was in few weeks restored
to my former health. The VEGETINE saved my life
aft the PHI scians said there help for me.
have had doctor since. II feel unwe take dose
of Veg etine and recommend it to my friends.
Your Vegctne ought to be in every family Ny doctor
surprised to in good health. He says Veget
inc good ediene. tell him it cured He says,
1t is true" cannot feel too thankful.
Very gratefully yours
Mrs. CATHERINE CO0NS.
Seneca Falls Seneca County, n. Y.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31
Che fnu Of the Citing.
TURKEY TALK.
BY W. A. cRoFUT.

I'm raging Turk of the Bosphorus,
And I'm after the Russian Bear s.
He never shall be the Boss for us,
By Allah great swear.
He's growing around, as he always Is,
And his men are across the Pruth-
But I'll put muzzle across his phiz,
And pull out his every tooth.
III raise aloft my Crescent and Star,
And my iron-clads out III haul;
Ill summon my trusty Bashi- Bazouks,
And burst his Protocol
III block his little Outrage" game,
And his ENJOYS shovel off;
And give my ships chance for bout
With his Admiral Boutakof.
I'm after those Montenegrins sure,
And mean to give EN- rats,
And see how they II stand dose OF the same
They got at Alexinatz.
This high toned civilization idea
Will never 90 down, you see;
III murder and kill, as I've always done;
And that's what's the matter with me.
I've been bothered by England and Germany,
And every petty throne
In the Eastern Question" takes hand,
That neither dare play alone.
Nv back Is up I'm of ON tear!
10 mere In their words III trust;
And III have it ont with that blasted Bear;
It's 'Rush her, now, or bust.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31

In the light of a recent event the Boston Irar-
eller says: Better give the baby rattle. He
can get lots Of fun out of revolver but it is apt
to 60 of and hurt somebody. When you see the
baby in the back yard with q revolver, and re-
porter looking over the fence and whistling, 4
hear an angel calling it is well to go out and
take the weapon away from the infant"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31

GALL aboard for glory ~ shouted an Arkansas
poker player, as he whipped out his six-shooter
and blazed away at his successful adversaries.
The whole affair only lasted two minutes, but it
removed some of the most familiar names from
the bead-roll of Arkansas statesmanshp.-4n-
dreUS Bdsar.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31

A MIsAPPREHENsIoN.-'I think, my dear"
said the President as he took his night-shirt from
under the pillow, shat we will give a dinner, by
and by, and have Sherry"
"Rutherfordw said Mrs. Hayes.
Shave Sheridan and some of the army peo-
ple,n concluded the Commander in Chief, as he
adroitly slipped into bed and left Mrs. H. to tuck
up the baby and turn down the gas.-Boston
Commercial Bulletin
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31
VECETINE,

ALL DISEASES OF THE BLOOD. If Vegetine will
relieve pain cleanse purify and such diseases
storing the patient to perfect health after trying different
physicians many remedies suffering for years it not
conclusive proof if you are sufferer can be cured
Why is this medicine performing suc great cures 1t
works in the blood in the circulating fluid 1t truly
be He'd the Great Blood Purifier The great source of
disease originates in the blood and medicine that
does act directly upon it. purify and renovate has
any Just claim upon public attention
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31

PROVIDENCE, r. l., is shocked at the matter-of
fact way in which the dead are transplanted from
the old West burying ground. Thus the bones
Of the ancestors are carried off in boxes labeled
elion Of the Day" Mystic Soap" Best of ALL"
eTwelve pairs boys calf boots" etc.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31
THERE is no use asking the sprigginses to sub

THERE is no use asking the Sprigginses to sub
scribe again for any New York paper. Mrs.
Spriggins spoiled ten yards of calico, week be-
fore last, trying to cut out dress from the pat
tern published in one of the big New York dailies
which that paper printed over the ridiculous Ia
bel of "A Map of the War in Europe" Last
week one of her neghbors, relying upon the re-
ligious character of the Christian Union, tried to
cut out chemiloon from its pattern; but the
thing doesn't fit worth a darn, being too bias in
the left limb, After this, if any subscription
agent calls in that ncighborhood, he will get
regular, old, reliable fashion papers.-Er.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31

'WAR was declared in my house aweek before
the Car thought of the thing" said Mr.. John
son, land all because l happened to get up first
in the morning and help the hired girl about the
fire. Poor girl! she crossed the Pruth n yard
ahead of my wife into the ne1t-door neighbor's,
ana now She's working in a hotel."-Barlington
HaarEeue
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31

An Illinois youth invested 81. so in a New York
firm, to discover "How to appear well in society"
The recipe which he received by returning mail
vas short, simple, and easily understood: al
rays keep your nose clean, and don't suck more
than one finger at n time
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31
ANOTHER TESTIMONY.

BENTON BARRACKS, Mo-, April 80 1866.
Dr. John Buu-Dear Sir: Knowing the efficacy Of your
Ssrsapara and the healing and beneficial qualities it
Possesses send you the following statement of my
wounded about two years ago taken prisoner
and confined for sixteen months Being moved often
my wounds have not healed yet have not sat up
My general health is impaired and need something to
assist nature have faith in urSarsapara than
thing else wish that which is genuine Please
press me half dozen bottles and obige,
CAPT C. P. JOHNSON,
st. Louis, No.
P.S-The following written April 3oth 1866, by
Mrs Jennie johnson mother Of Capt. johnson
Dr. John Buu-Dear Sir: My husband, Dr. C. S. John
son. skilful surgeon and physician of Central New
York where he died. leaving the above C. p johnson
my At thirteen years of age he had chronic d.
arrhra and scrofua for which gave your Sarsapara.
1t cured Alma have for ten years recommended it to
many in New York, Ohio and Iowa, for scrofua fever
sores and general debility Perfect has attended
it. The Effected in Of sercula and yerer
almost miraeulous very anxious for my
son to again have to Sarsaparilla He is
fearful of getting spurious article hence his writing to
you it, His wounds were terrible but believe he
will recover.
Respectfully
JENNIE JOHNSON.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31

ONE of the lady clerks in the Interior Depart
mont has perpetrated pretty good pun on the
name Of the Secretary. Being told that she must
proueunce Schurz like Shirts she re piled, al
BE is sShrts,' we clerks are under-shirtsS
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31

A TRAMP who was ordered out of town BY the
police yesterday, paused when he got beyond the
corporation limits, and raising his hand to heay-
en-, suddenly announced his intention of joining
the new Wing party.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31

To the W0Pkiog C1ass.-we are now prepared to
furnish all classes with constant employment at home
the whole Of the time for their spare Bust
silly from 30 cents to g per evening and . proper
tcnal BY devotng their whole time the bvsness
Boys and girls nearly mueh That ali whe
this may send their address, and the bust
make this unparalleled offer: To such sre not
well satisfied viii send dollar to paw for the trou
BILE Of writing Full particulars samples worth several
dollars to commence work and copy Of Home and
TONS all free b. mail Reader. IL ysu perma
nent profitable work. address, GGoRgE Srxsox & Co.
Portland, Maine. 80 octls,
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31

"IF Smith undertakes to pull my ears" said
Jones, she will just have his hands full now p
The crowd took one look at that mans ears, and
concluded that he was about right.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31

QUERY for naturalists: If a bird in the hand is
worth two in the bush, is a mole in the face
worth two in the ground
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31

MINISTER (reproachfully to bibulous village
barber, with shaking handy: "Ah, John, John
That whiskey" Barber CONFIDENTLY: AYE,
sir, it r,ak's the skin unco tender"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31
A LITTLE Idaho three.rear.old fen into a vel

A LITTLE Idaho three year old fell into well,
where the water was only six inches deep, and
geMaincd there six hours before he was discover
ID: When be was finally rescued, his pent up
wrath knew no bounds. There was no crying
on the heads of neglectful parents as never be-
fore fell from childish lips. Here is sample:
"You fink l kan tay in well, wifout muffin to
eat, like fog. # l wasn't no better ladder N
mudder n 'Ou I'd do wifout childrenw
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31

YOUNGSTOWN Herald Wrap sheet of foolscap
around the neck of mineral water bottle and
you have the latest style Of gents collar.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31

An Irishman who was drinking the health of a
Bishop, gave this toast: MAY yer reverence live
to ate the old hen that crows over yer grave.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31

CARE the children safe 7" asks the Christian
Union. Quite safe, we assure you. They are up
in the garnet, playing hotel fire. Jimmie is the
clerk, and is trying to slide down the water pipe
to the ground, Willie is guest, clinging to the
window sill, and waiting for the flames to reach
his hands before he tries to drop to the shed roof
two stories below, and Tom is heroic fireman,
and has tied his fishing line around the baby's
body, and is letting it down to the ground. Oh,
yes, the children are all right; just finish your
call, and don't fret about the children.-HaWkeye.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31

A NEW JERSEY farmer lost his wife the other
day. After the funeral, one of his old friends
came to take tea and condole with him. The
widower dlated upon the virtues of the deceased,
and exclaimed: "But wasn't it q beautiful fune-
ralfo "Yes," replied the friend, "very interest
ing, indeed" 'QuIte a crowded house, wasn't it,
though" asked the mourner. every, very !;
quite a success" groaned the friend. "Did You
notice the hymn wasn't it touchingf" queried
the widower. Every, very jined into it with
all my heart" replied the guest. eyes, and SO
did l." said the bereaved man "the corpse picked
It oHt She loved that hymn"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31

The proprietor Of this celebrated medicine justly claims
for it supe rority all remedies offered to the
public for the safe certain speedy and permanent of
que and Fever, Chis and Fever whether Of short
of long Standing He refers to the entire Western and
Southern country to bear him testimony to the truth of
the assertion, that in whatever will it fail to
if the directions strictly followed and carried out In
great many single dose has been sufficient for
and VIII ole families have been cured by single bot
tie with perfect restoration OF the general health 1t
is however prudent and in every certain to
II it's is continued in smaller doses for week
two after the disease has been checked especially
in difficult and ongstanding Usually this medi
cine viii not any aid to keep the bowels in good
order. Should the patient however. require cathartic
medicine after having taken three four doses of the
Tonic single dose Of Bulls Vegetable Family Ials will
be sufficient
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31
j. H. ZEILIN q CO.,

Your valuable medicine, SIMMONS LIVER REGULATOR,
has saved me many Doctors bills. it for every
thing il il recommended for. and knew il to fail
have used it in Collie and Grbbs with my mules and
horses giving them about half bottle time. have
lost that gave it to. You recommend it to
every that has Stock being the best medicine
known all complaints that horse flesh is heir to.
L. Z. TAYLOR,
23nOv.-1y. Agent for Grangers of Ge.r.,
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31

and popular Ministers Of the Hethodi Epscopa Churcs,
and o present stationed Broadcay Church Louis.
riHe KY:
LOUISVILLE KY, Oct 8, 1869
DR.. John Buu-Dear Sir: Many thanks to you for the
medicine you have SO kindly given me. have been
great sufferer for years. and had the advice of various
physicians. Some pronounced my spine some my lungs,
and heart to be the seat of my disease have
been burnt bstered and cupped until had become dis
beartened. Several very eminent physicians who
ned my spine, informed me that threatened with
paralysis apopleIy any day. and that nothing but
seton would relieve had perfect horror of that,
and was hesitang about having inserted, when you
kindly sent mo your Sarsaparia, which Immediately
begun to take three times day. had suffered terribly
with most pain the right side Of my head
pecialy when would read write for any length of
time and rising to my feet would be perfectly blind
for several minutes and would have to hold something
to prevent falling.
am most happy to inform you that the pain in my
head is entirely relieved suffer but seldom with my
spine and then not 50 acutely. My appetite is good
indeed for the first time in my life enjoy my dinner
more than any meal during the day.
You kindly four bottles again last night and
began again this morning and hope to be entirely
isved Please accept my heartfelt thanks and best
wishes.
Very truly your most grateful friend
NJ. b. c. RIVERS.
Ny ssrna abounds with similar letters all of which
guarantee to be genuine and written by the persons
whose names they bear
Do not suHer yourself to be imposed Don't be
drawn away after and doubtful experiments. Don't
risk health by letting novees experiment upon you
with their trash.
Ny Sarsaparls has stood the twenty years;
il is still the Sarsapara Of the day. and of the age tow
ering all others in popularity, and in its curative
qualities
Avoid all those who trying to palm of you other
extracts of Sarsaparla socalled. Remember it is Dr.
John Bulls sarsaparilla of Louisville Ky, that is the
old and reliable remedy for impurities of the blood and
scrofulous affections Always bear that in mind.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31
BULLS
SARSAPARILLA.

Read the olo,ci,g extract Of Letter from Mrs Rirers
're Of Req. Dr. Rirers Of the most learned eloquent
and popular Ministers Of the Aehodist Epseopa Churea,
and ucho is present stationed Broaday Church Louis
riHe, KY:
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31
DIR. BUTTS DISPENSARY

XVIII .hers:- bssisess sSnorSsis ss s1s ~;
0EUv elas1 I.,iissI.rs sent nee. ASaress
oVV J.WOkrH q CO., 81. Louis, No.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1877-05-31
1T HAS NO EQUAL,

As there number of limitations offered to the pub
lie would caution the community to buy Powders
Prepared SIMMONS LIVER REGULATOR, unless
in engraved wrapper with the trade mark stamp and
signature unbroken. None other is genuine.