davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1877-07-22
CURRENT GOSSIP.
TO 4 MOSQUITO

TO 4 MOSQUITO
IPtrcael Oh The tncs ef my hand]
Pray tell nc. stranger lauk and lean, what you are
doing here,
So very, very far from home, where you'll be lost
] fear.
And then New Jerseys swamps you'll sec no MORE
or tread ita mud,
But die amid your enemies, who ever thirst for
blood.
When first you left your native heath, you made
but little fuss,
For yuu had not attained size to be fuls-gfo"n
MES
Onto; Int now the time has come when you Will
be no more.
For Q nm your enemy, and sooa will shed Tonr
gore.
bills me not
For, though yon made fair promises they soon
would be forgot,
Your tears they will not nughr avail, for have
stcelcd my heart
'Galnst you, my dear mosquito, and 'gainst your
little dart.
Perhaps sou think it heathenish, since you are in
my power,
That should treat you as foe, and on your heao
should shower
So much that is opprobrious, instead OF feeling
At your i'll fate; bnt don't care, for I'm awful
mad
Then fare you well, you thin aud gaunt, blood
sucking mosquito,
For have now made up my mind TO kill you at one
blow,
And then I'll rest me peacefully till comes to-nor~
rows tawn-
Well, declare TO goodness, the confonndcd thing
is gone!
july 10, 1877. W. VI
, 1877-07-22


They had been married about three months
Tie boy from the store appeared with note
from her husband. She c|utched the precious
missivc with an eager hand, trc,nb!ingly opened
it and read:
"DEAn WIFE: Send me pocket-handket-
chief Joux."
She went slowly to the drawer to get the de-
sired article, and while looking for it she came
across the following note, dated two weeks after
the wedding:
'*SUSL1Gnr OF Mr. Soul: You will have to
send mt a handkerchief. Your bewitehing eyes
SO turned my head this morning that forgot to
take one with Inc, for winch l shalt kiss The
sweet face of MY own q thousand times when
come home, In two hours and twenty minutes
it will be II O'Clock, aud then i can come to my
beautiful rose. long to hy to you. 4 thou
sand kisses send thee, my furry wife. Yours
tenderly, JouN.'
She sighed, gave the boy the handkerchief,
and sighed again.
, 1877-07-22
GOSSIP FOR LADIES.
How Sarah Shepard Got the Bet
ter Of Her Worser Half,
An Indiana Tragedy-~-The Piute
and Els 6 Heap-Strong"
SquaV.
The Difference that Three Months
Make---Jim Browns De.
cease,


THE KISS.
What mem'ries sweet do crown the virgin kiss,
The sweet, warm pressure Of the loving lips!
What can its thrilling ecstasy eclipse,
The momen:ary state OF heas My bliss
The loving presence Of modest Miss,
Whose eyes, like bright stars, gaze into Jour own,
Two suns OF love, but brighter never ehone
The glorious sun On high. Alas. but this
Like other sacred Toys, must pass away,
And leave the longing henrt 10 wieh for more,
That, like the fragrance OF the flowers gay,
Abide concealed, u precious, blissfnl store,
Within those honeyed lips like roses red,
Fresh from the fragrance OF their shady bed.
L, 4. DsuuESE.
, 1877-07-22
THE WARNING!

was sitting in my study,
Toiliug ser the midnight lamp.
And the toiI-drops stood out boldly
On nv forehead cold and damp:
uccril then the sweetest mu4lc
That seraph!c, throats can pour,
And the burden Of their song was:
Leonore: Lconore!
To your heart no more You'll fold her,
LcoRorc,
O twas rapturous just to listen
To the soft, majestic g!ee,
AS It rolled around ny chamber
with cadence light and free:
Rolled i, ont upon the nisht-a'r
Through the massive oaken ooort
Until I'LL around MT echoed:
Lcouore! Leonorc!
Thou hast lost thy hearts loved IDOL
Leonore.
Forcyermore!
Sank mr. head upon my bosom,
And With 1aboring bTrath and slow,
Heard I words whose 1Wful import
rIunred my suni in deepest Wo:
Told they how I'd lose my treasure
How the heart woult sadly pour
All its bitter lamentations
For the fate OF Lconore.
When found that had lust thee,
Forcycrmore!
Soon the glorious light Of morning
Shed it, beams upon the Earth.
And found that Life Eternal
In the night had gwen birth
To soul lou l:ir and fragile
For Times rough and rugged ehofe:
She had conc to JON The SINGERS
Who had sung Ut I.eonore:,
50 Thou hast lost thy hearts loTed idol,
Ieonore,
Fo1cvermo1e"
.oo Apn1E PERCY.
, 1877-07-22

FEMININE NOTES.
4 young lady from an upper Iowa township
recently applied Tor the position Of solferino in
one Of the Burlington chors.
Says cynic: 4 woman is not fit to have
bah: who doesn't know how to hold it; and this
is as true Of tongue US Of baby.
DobhE, on being asked il he had erer seen the
stBridec OF Sighs,n replied, ssYes, have been
travelling one ever since WAS married."
II never felt SO frightened in nv life,' she
said to her lover; I" L turned Us white as your
shirt tront-no :'-on inspection-"sery nuri,
whittier"
Observe young father trying to appease .
| bawling baby, and you'll witness enough III
! gcnuity in ten minutes to make you think that
| man ought to be an inventor.
| s.Don't show my letters" wrote Rockland
young man to young lady whom be adorcd.
s'Don't be afraid.'' was the reply; Pm just as
! much ashamed OF them as you are"
"Papa,'' asked 4 boy, "what is meant By Par
adisc!' *'parallisc, my son. replied the faith
er, :' is the latter part OF summer. when your
mother goes Oh visit to your grandfather"
''Don't let this hairpin again." remarked the
wife quietly, as she found one Of those utensils
hangin. to his coat~coIlar, when be came In from
lodge meeting the other night~-Cineinnatt sat-
nrday Night
In French railway-car.-A gentleman re-
marks to 4 LADY sitting opposite: u Is tobacco
dlsagreeable to YOUR Not at all, sir u (the
gentleman expresses satisfaction)-"w1en it Is
in the form Of snud, continues the lady
"Whv don't you wear shush,' maa" asked
little boy "a shush!' What is that my
dear! ! never heard of such thingr why
yes you have ma! I asked Aunt Mary what
made her back stick out SO, and she said:
Hush, my dcarn"
. Busted-The agony column Of q recent issue
OF the London Times contains the following:
*sFrom E. to L.: Tour letters are destroyed,
and YOU tave nothing to fear from my indls-
cretion. Your rug, etc, is ready packed, aud
will be sent when opportunity offers or you
choose to indicate way. Your 'eycr' lasted
five months, aud was u fool to expect it would
be otherwise"
An editorial friend in New Hampshire sends
this to Harper's lndga=i1e: Some time ago au
aged man who had Just lost bis wife CAME into
our sanctun, and. with tears standing in bis eyes,
euogizrd The memory OF the deceased, and
asked us to record the death in our next ISSUE
ssAntl,'' said nc, ''wfile you arc about It, make
All item about one Of my Brahma hens laying
an egg measuring seven and 4 quarter by eight
and threc-Guarter inches in circumference"
Thus suddenly our thoughts OF sympathy were
directed to the steruer realities Of life.
"Pa,' observed Daubury boz to bis father,
sswhat docs Mr.: Pitkins and Julia find to talk
about in the parlor by thenselESs' LOU four 9 hours
tleman pulled splint out OF the broom, and
slowly prodding his teeth with it, replied-"1
got hunk OF meat, yesterday, an we had 1t
boiled for dinner, didn't weW s,4es-' An.
had it cold for support" Yes" "An' Eour
didn't she.'' :.Ycs." 4.An' to-day got IN
itps YES" ttWclI, that's the way with
Pitkins an your sister Julia"
, 1877-07-22
THE SEER.

What boots the change Of day and night
To eyes that draw their finer sight
Neither from gun nor any star that beameth?
Mine eyes desire
The white salEit-Gre
That shows tae tcndent Fate below what seemcth
To esrs like minc, around
Stray subtle tides OF under sound,
To which the silence roareth like mad tornado!
heaz the spirits dialogues
OF thOnEht o or mountains and through logs,
From 1ccland's roaring coast to Trinidado.
1see swarming multitude
Or powers by men misunderstood.
million ,l,s exeEs worked upon the fnlsrnu OF this
Whose Earth-ward ends. reversed,
Make what il best seem worst,
And what is wrong seem pleasant to our seeing.
Isi happy gift,
This power catch the drift
OF tides below the surflcc Of the PRESENT.
Mo- Yes! for there,
As in the evident sphere,
Gods balances mcte ont tho solemn and the
pleasant.
Lcok yonder no- and sec
The babe upon his mothers knee,
His infant solace from her rich breast taking!
Yet. come the tender winds next Spring,
That mothers emptcd handsehall bring
Flowers to little grave with heart chords aching.
Dost see that happy pair
OF seeming lovers !onn5 W , ana 1a1.d ials: ,:,,n
An N0nIQ LnG mAl1Eu uuL Ol HlG l1At Na&AIAEs
She might behold The snake
Colled in those selfish eyes, whose art shall
make
Too soon for her sweet life cloudy morning.
Ger yondcr stands = bride
By her tall husbands side:
Alas: her orange flowers seem a1naranth to NE
Her roucs, 20 like cloud
or grace, are narrowing to the shrond
That shall enfold he7 ere score Of mornings be.
rpf no,r the vision t,1rns
Where. in yon easement, dimly burns
laMp whereby woman. gray and weary.
Hath toiled through nights OF years,
by hope deceived and scourgcd with fear5,
For one who comes not from journey dfcasy.
Sad heart take courage! bnt once more
The sun shall circle o'cr
The vide grren land and melancholy blilowi
Then he, the lost shall come,
Aud lead thee to a 6lossoming home,
To rest thy wearincss awhile upon Loves pillow.
Down in rrison-cell.
In pestilent darkness terrible.
sits chained man. for whou q mercy hieth
Through the wide fields OF light.
To plnck him from the night
Of which he areatneth not, though near it hieth.
All! swar1ns OF pleasant things,
Cpscet,, on Eartn- bound wtn.s,
Are flying through the blue o'er- -yaul,ing ether
To bless the hearts whose shaFc
or life has been despair,
And patient longing for tue rest OF Ltthe;
For countless souss that mourn,
Sweet $ofscc, yet nnborn.
Is gathering in the silent mysteries OF HcaEcn,
And. winging to and fro,
Loves angels, as they 20, .
Fear ministries to make the lot OF mortals event
Cu1cAG0 HoyEn Il. cAArDELL.
, 1877-07-22

There is some affinity between lovers and ice-
cream. Just what it is or Why it is has never
been disclosed, and yet remains n problem for
the consideration Of TyndaIl and Huxley. 4
writer, whose name is unfortunately lost, hav-
ing become erased from the roll Of honor By
age, has computed that girl who has BEEN two
OF three times in lore can corral FIVE dishes OF
tce-crcam at sitting. This is somewhat dis
courasipg TO the beaux, and renders 1t neces-
secrecy concerning their love affairs lest they
become objects of terror to the young men un-
til their day of grace is frittercd away. But
there is a subtle instinct TINT prompts tue
young lover to indulge this passion Of the OBJ
1cct OF his affections. No matter how unso-
Of the world and Of women he may hare, this
unseen promptcr whispers in his eat.
II thou wouldst be loved give her ice-creanl.
This psychological fact has not escaped the
notice Of designing men. who have encouraged
aud fostered this passion and turned 1t To their
most ambitious schener has Invented patent
SCOOP, which is warranted to retain the precious
mixture whilu it is carried some distance to some
secluded spot, while in silehcc aud apart the
loving train may deVour it. The idea vas ?
bright one, and was Of course eagerly snatched
at BY lovcsick sw-ains- But, alas!-
Whoever thinka perfect work to see
Thinks what ne 'eF WIS, nor IT, nor Ger shall be.
JcfIersonville furnishes the victim. What so
soothing to his burning heart as the cooling ice
cream sliding down his ,nsophagus? So it be-
came his custom to carry one Of these new-ian-
glel SCOOPS filed with the seductive connection
to the house Of s' the maid his heart had sim
gled from the world" and they would ramble
to some II dowery del1,'' where, with none to
molest or make them afraid. they would sur
round the delicacy. But every dog has his day,
and the time came when the iron entered into
tue vita1s Of this young man. He had purchased
q scoopfnl OF the frigid nectar few evenings
since aud was proceeding on his way to the res
idence OF his charme1, With love and anticipa-
ton in his heart and the scoopful Of iee-cream
in bis hand, when he met her coming with
another fellow to procure that which satisfied
her longing as nothing else could do. Whether
It was from sudden emotion, or whether he
feared that bis heart might crack il too sudden
" cooled, be hastily showed tue scoop into his
pants pocket. Then 1t was that the hitherto
faithful scoop failed him, and he became con-
yinced Of the vanity Of mans inventions and
wornan's coDstancy. Tilted bE the woman he
loved and betrayed by new-1anged f-e-crean
SCOOP. how tho pride of his life oozed away
ran down his leg and filed his boots. His love
for the girl melted like the icc-creanl in his
nocsct, and the light Of his life disappeared
with the polish on bis boots. Seldom have We
been called upon to sympathize with sadder
fate or to mourn over so much sweetness so
suddenly lispellcd. He who but q lew short
moments before had started forth with proud
heart and well-flled SCOOP returns with blasted
affections and boot full OF skinned milk.
, 1877-07-22

Of instructing men in shooting. The advantages
claimed for the new weapon over any pattern OF
construction and ease b manipulation. Tha
number Of separate parts in the pistol is very
smalli the parts are connected SO firmly to.
gether that the weapon is not likely to get out
of order: anu, even should it be injured, tEcrs
principle can easily be adapted to any Of tue
firearms in use in The service, aud this ut very
little cost; SO that men mar be exercised IN
shooting with weapons Of the size, pattern. aud
weight which they would have to use in tha
heid. -
, 1877-07-22

Dt.rets Free P7xss.
ayes, suppose it might have disturbed thu
peace" answered Sarah Shepard when the com,
pIaint WIS read, "but was to blame? Is therc
one wife in ten thousand billion who wouldn't
hare done the san,e'''
"We'1l see about that" said the Court, rs he
bcckoned to q small, used-up man in the au-
dience to COME forward.
Mr.. Shepard advanced. Reaching favorable
position he exhibited two long scratches On his
face and wound On his head, and quietly re-
marked:
"Shc aimed to take my life, but Heaven in
terposed and the club glanced of. She's awful,
Judge, and this isn't the first time she's triedto
murder me.''
"Bah!" she exclaimed, in great contempt.
"Judge, do you know who this spindle-shankcd
thing was before I married him! &c was roof
ing III tue cutters for rags, he was l, fool that
WAS, took liking to him, married him, and hay c
lived q miserable life ever since"
@Judge, can prove BY over fourteen families
thatslle poisoned her other husband!" exclaimed
the man.
And didn't they have you in Sing sing|"
-" They never did, and you know that you
threatened to pour lot lead into my ears!:'
So did. and wish had, for --!;'
"H0ld on, now" interrupted the Court. II
don't care how many murders have been coln-
mitted, but want the facts about this riot that
disturbed Seventh street for an hour. Now,
Shepard, tell Your story.n
'Well, sir, she borrowed 81 OF me the other
day to get lcr corus cut OF, aud last night when
asked her to pay it back she 1ew mad and
tried to upset the table Falling in that she
said she'd make q cadayer Ut 1ne in one minute,
and she wEacked me with pitcher. II you
have any mercy in your bosom you'll jug her ior
five hundred years"
''Now may sink through the floor If do,i't
tell tic TRUTH she said as she drew long
breath and braecd hcr feet "This man here,-
this human pig,-this Eastwood skeleton, heard
ME complaining that my feet hurt ME, and he
ME to 20 to corn doctor. l went, and whcE he
asked for the money back told him I wan.ed
it to buy gooseberr1es with. Then he began to
rave and tear. didn't nay any heed to him till
he grabbed me by the throat, but then l rose up
and dressed him out. now demand that ht: be
sent up for five years.
Ladies' aud guntlcmen,' began the Court as
be put away his notes, "ttis is very plain c1se.
That is, it's pl1in to mc that the doves OF peace
don't coo around Your cottage for shucks. One
OF you may have told the truth, but doubt it.
Both are to blame, and both must be punished,
one has been chokel and the other clawcd. and
I'll make the tine the samc.''
s'Make 1t $40 or three mOnths,' eagerly re-
marked the wifc+
s'Just as you say, madAm.''
She pulled out roll Of bills, paid her fine,
and then with grin Of satisfaction all over her
face she said to tlcr husbands
''That settles you. You are dead broke aud
can't pay. Go up like d little man, and don't
forget TO write to yours truly. By-bye''
She sailed away in happy style, and the amaz-
each other full minute before the silence was
broken. Then Shepard walked into the c0rri~
dor and sat down and waited for the Maria. so
badly used up that be let his nose blow itself.
, 1877-07-22

The torpedo-balloon is the ingenious sugges.-
that Journal, approving the idea, saws: lit is
not difficult matter to construc: balloon ca
pa6le OF lifting sufficient nitro-glycerine for the
purpose. This might be inclosed in she'll and
SUSPENDED as 4 car under the air ship. 4 simple
dropping the load, and this Qevice might be con-
trolIed by light wire through which an electric
current could be sent. The besiegers have only
to wait for fair wind, and then start their BAL
loon from point far beyond the range OF the
aid Of instruments to tell just When the balloon
had arrived over the desired point, and the
pressure Of the key would transmit the current
and drop the mass Of explosive The effect Of
quantity Of nitro glyyer!ue blowing up in city
Or fort would be terTi1c.h
, 1877-07-22

FifgtEia Citu Gheu.} EnstTpTt&t.
A number Of the Piutes camped among the
hills hercabout possess ponies. As there is
hardly handful Of grass to the acre fn the
neighborhood Of their shanties, itbehooscs such
rs hare horses to keep q bright lookout Tor
prorender. Every yisp OF hay that IS met win
by either bucks or squaws 10 picked up ana
stuffed into guuny-sack to 60 toward providing
q meal tor the ha1t-famished pony ptcketed a.
the cauuu, The Indians are sure to be on hand
when bay Is being unloaded from thu cars, and
generally manage to CLEAN considerable ound1e
The other morning re observed Capt. Bob and
his gouaw at q hay-car that stood at distance
from the depot, and there being no one about BOUT
corners. After q. huge bundle had been made
Bob boosted it the back OF MS s n is
nrx3ner place across her forehead, gave a salts
led grunt and started her along toward camp,
be following, leading By the hand a 4yeas,olu
bor. The boy Was duck-|egged and sloR,
traveller. Bob picked him up, and &c supposed
it was his intention to carry him LONE. NO
, 1877-07-22

Quibb'e No. 1.--N*yllie won't play until {atea
pays him money that Wyllie never before pretend
ed Yates owed him. Ne1t!-Chelsto Public
4 correspondent suggests that the players Of this
country raise SIS By subscription for Ar. Nyllie-
and thus remove the only known obstacle to .
mntch with Mr.. Yates.
Mr. ]. ". Henson, Of Newark. n. j., has taken
mp MS residence In Chicago. We have not as ysr
had the pleasure of meeting him across the board,
bu. are informed that he ia d sery srron., player,
aud 4 gentleman whose acquaintance our leca3
players Will be pleased to cultivate.
On Saturday: the 10th inst. move Wa naaae ty
few OF the Glasgow draaght- players to Airlrie q
have trial Of skill with the Airdrienniaus. Three
players side we1e engaged In th: formal match.
each pair playing fonr ssmes. After i splrit,d
contest Artric proved victorious by three wins. tho
score standing: Atrdrie. i've wins; t;lassow. two;
whiie i've games were drawn--dire:t1e xfdreFt<fT~
During the past week our attention WIS drawn to
the report Of match contested nfarly sixty yeats
ago. The players hailed from Glasgow on the one
hnnd. and ffotn the united PARISHES OF stra:aa'sa
Gay, DAY. 5aas i 8. 1s1s: Wednesday n,nr dtauslt-
board players from Glasgow met III equal nun1ocr
from the Parishes Of strathaven and Glassford
at KilDri,c. and after keen contest. in which
thew p,uysi III games, the forucr sniue1 forty
slx ana the latter thirty five; the remainder were
drawn "-Gfasdoto HeTatd.
Our local players weEc favored last week with
visit from two OF our Western checker celebrities.
Mr. Henry Hutzler, Of CINCINNATI. g, and ~
". B. Fonviile. OF kankakee, ILL., MI. Antler
arrived on Thursday evening. and Mr. Fonvi1le On
Saturday morning, ooth intending to remain unt!!
Of our scmi-professiopals an opportunity Of being
defeated This Is Mr.. l1utzlcr's first visit to our
city; his reputation, however, has long preceded
him, hie name being familiar household "or:l IN
all checker circles throughout thr country: The
full individual scores made BY nl the players will
appear In next Sunday = TRIBUNE
, 1877-07-22
A NIISApPREHENSION.
Louiseflle Courier journal.
ow n lin Mr.. Tan1.line2a AZ


"How do, Mr. Tapclines''
tsMorning, Mrs. Kweergrubb."
And the smiling clerk extended his hand
over 4 Fourth avenue dry goods counter to meet
the grasp Of bis. former landlady.
"Auything to-day7"
ayes. Have Jou anr OF that neW-fashioned
trimming for dresses :''
.sWhat is the name, ma'am ~
ats caled-let me sce-''
aDo you mean fringe, Or"
"No, no. It's kind Of stuff made e1-
prcssly for borders. You ought to know"
Tic clerk thought moment, and suddenly
his face glowcd with intelligence.
s.s1ade expressly for"
"Borders-yes,'' his !andlady interrupted.
"Do sou mean hasa ~
"No, SIT ~
Then something like small cyclone swept
through the store as Mrs. Kwcersrubb made
her cit.
, 1877-07-22

it was not their desire that the funeral shouln
take Dcc with the funeral service OF The Church
ot England, they shoulu be- allowed to inter eoc
deceased with such Christian and orderly scEs@
ices as they might think fit, or without any re-
lipiOus scryice.'
, 1877-07-22

Detroit Free Press
II you had looked into the corridor at the
Central Station yesterday afternoon you would
have seen a long, shining nose sticking through
the barred door OF cell No. I, md YOU might
have heard . lonesome voice crying out:
"Pnttin' me in here won't make bit Of df-
fcrcncr! III rip and tear all the harder when
git out!'
His name is Webb. He is the oldestson Of m
old farmvr in Greenfield Township. He was in
town the other day With produce. and just as
he was ready to leave the market 4 boy ap-
preached him and asked il he didn't to buy
a church excursion ticket for half-prtce. It was
to be a beautiful excursion, the boy said, with
ice-cream, and lemonade, and handsome girls.
and bashfut widows all over the boat, and there
would b. soft Music by the band. sweet singing
By the choir, and shadowy angels would be hov-
eriu9 near to pick up tic awful good children
vino tumb1cd overheard.
.:Im right there, bub,' replied the oldest
sou, as be went down into his vest fora quarter;
and he further said that he'd been for years
haukcrinc to go on boss excursion up the
river.
dock at sharp o'clock i. N. OF Thursday. The
oldest son was on time. He went to the foot Of
Woodward avenue and kept his eye looking Tor
the steamer Northwest. lie Didn't see any
church dcacons around. No crowds Of white
robed Children surrounded him. At l0 o'clock
the oldest son pulled cut his card, walked up to
knot Of men aud remarked:
HAS this excursion gone {"
s.That cxcursion,'' replied one Of the men. as
be read the ticket, ''took place three weeks ago
this morning."
'tAnd I'm leftr'
"Yes, str--yoa are just twenty days andsome
odd hours too late"
ii paid two shillings for this ticket,'' e7imly
observed the oldest son. s'It calls for an ex-
cursion. rvc got bread and butter and ham
and cu1rants, and q. pint bottle full OF team
this basket, aud I'm going On the excursion or
know the reason why.''
"There are several reasons why,'' laughed Che
crowd
"Geutlemen, trot out four steamboat" said
Mr.: Webb.
They laughed again.
s'Gentlemcn, give you just two minutes to
pull your old steamer around here!"
More laughing.
'sGcntle1ncn, I'm no blowhard. want mT
rights, and Pm going TO have 'em. ANT gong
to plank down two shiliings in cash, sit up half
a night to grease my boots, sew On buttons and
oil up my lair, ride Twelve miles in an old wagon