Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1877-05-16
VARIETY AND HUMOR.

A delicate feat of surgery-cut-
ting off ones heir with shilling.
Sir Henry Thompson says that
brain workers should not take alcohol.
You must be blind if you can't
hear the spring rubbish fires smell from
every back yard.
The editor of the New York HAIL
yearns for voiceless barber and will
not be comforted.
The hard times have had the effect
Of making men think that this year
they must begin to have gardens.
The Examiner says that the right
to vote has made the English masses
more manly, and has caused a desire
for general education.
-Inquirer-no; the United States
bonded warehouses are not used for
storing away United States bonds. -
Philadelphia bulletin.
The Woman's Journal is charged
byseveral papers with saying Ladies'"
when it should say women" We
are probably on the verge of a great
controversy.
A Georgia negro twisted a mules
tail to urge it over fence. The small
attendance at the funeral next day
showed that the people didn't care if
he did twist the mules tail.
The little fellow pursued by a big
turkey-cock ran crying to his father
What, my boy, are you afraid OF
turkey? Why, you ate part Of one
yesterday Eyes, but this one isn't
cooked"
Notwithstanding that the Blenders
are still relentlessly pursued by the
detectives, there is no truth in the
rumor that they belong TO the Ameri-
can Tracked Society,". Y. Com
mercial AdUertiser.
Hail, gentle spring! Now is the
time to look up all the old recipes for
curing boils You needn't waste time
looking up the boils; they'll be along
before the poultices are ready. Bur
Hngton Hae0h-Eye.
A woman in Philadelphia is under
arrest for cowhiding school-mistress
who ferruled her child. Il don't say
the boy is good boy" she says apollo
getically; "feW of them are; but i am
the one to correct him."
-Shoemakers are an industrious
class, but they lack genius. Here it is
the year 1881 a. M, and not baby
shoe invented yet that doesn't get
kicked off thirty-iive times a day
Chicago Eoehiny Journal.
-" Poor, poor childr exclaimed the
people when New York hack horse
stumbled and fell over a little girl.
Poor, poor horseY' groaned Mr..
Bergh, who was standing near and
witnessed The accident Exchange.
There seems to be a general feel
ing about town that when there is no
light in the entry man ought to be
excused for kissing his wife when she
lets him in, provided he thinks it is
the chamber-maid. -Nora0tch Bulletin
An excellent old deacon, who, hav-
Ing won a fine turkey at charity
rattle, didn't like to tell his severe
orthodox wife how he came by it,
quietly remarked, as he handed her the
turkey, that the shakers gave it To
iiAiii. ~ 4 4 fOttft.
The Boston transcript SAYS tlnt.
in Boston, " 1t is a correct position on
the understanding question to say
that no gentleman will puff in the face
of a lady or anybody else he may sup
pose tobacco smoke to be offensive to-"
This is too faStidiouS altogether You
might as well say that tobacco-chew-
hn11I NOT n ho
clothing of any person if that person
has any objection.-N. Y. Graphic.
The citizens of York, Me-, assert
that it was the earliest incorporated
city in America. In 1641 Sir Ferdi-
nando Georges gave the plantation of
York the name of Gorgiana, and
granted it a charter Of incorporation as
a city. His nephew, Thomas Gorges,
was the first and last Mayor. For
about twelve years it retained the
name of Gorgiana, but, in 1858. the
town was incorporated by Massachu-
sets under the name Of York.
A practical joker advertised in
the San Francisco papers for 1000
ahe-hodied men at a salary of 81. so a
day, and 1000 workingmen assembled
opposite the Merchants Exchange on
April >. After they had become con-
WINGED that they We're the victims of a
silly hoax, they marched to the CITY
Hall and requested the Mayor to ferret
out the author of the outrage. lie was
arrested the next day after he had
paid for another advertisement offer
ing 2 reward of twenty-five dollars for
information concerning the man who
inserted the first one. 1t is probably
the only instance on record of a mans
offering reward for the arrest of
himself.
The Burlington Ha,rk- Eye, speak
In ut 10 .nl..r.n. - -I,---t.,.-.