, 1877-05-25
Clippings.
BY SCISSORS

ing it,
Domestic broils make unsatisfactory
meals
Arose" by any other name would be
"got up"
A set of bad teeth, like farm, has
many acres.
can't help it.
One way to get a roaring trade is to
buy menagerie.
BLUE glass parties for "Bluestock-
lngs" are the latest.
A man cannot expect half loaf when
he loafs all the time.
A friend that sticks in prosperity and
adversity-Mucilage,
Standing on the dentists Doorstep will
often cure toothache.
The best way to rise in lady's esti-
nation is not by stares.
What is better than a promising
young man? A paying one.
Mr.. Hayes never swears. But he has
been Presid ent less than two weeks.
ga splendid ear, and a very poor
voice, as the organ-grinder said to the
donkey.
There is no plural to Daddy Longlegs,
as it's always being regarded as singu-
lar creature.
The band played "Little Brown Jug"
at the prohibitory ratification meeting
in Worcester.
No man ever worshipped a brazen
image who had once tusseled with life
insurance agent.
Josh Billings says that in the beds of
many hotels ''yu sleep sum, but roll
over a good deal"
THE sleeves of new dresses fit tighter
than ever. To laugh in ones sleeve has
now become purely metaphorical.
John Erode is no more. You prob
ably didn't know him. He lived in
Western Missouri, and on entering the
smoke house of friend to see how the
hams got along trap gun blew his head
off.
THE Cincinnati Commercial saws:
"Why is it that editors never commit
suicide ?" The Burlington Haeekeve has
investigated this subject a little. and
thinks it is because the druggists won't
sell strychnine on long time.
A LITTLE girl in Clinton was learning
her little brother the Lords Prayer the
other night, and when she had said
"give us this day our daily bread, " he
suddenly called out; "Pray for sirup,
too. sister; pray for sirup, too"
UTICA has Just had sensation in the
shape of bareheaded woman running
through the street at nightpursued bya
man on horseback. Now, if it had been
a man on horseback pursued by bare
headed woman, nobody would have no
ticed it.
A LITTLE boy of our acquaintance who
had just learned that the names John
and Jack were used interchangeably,N
took occasion, not unnaturally, to call
his sisters attention to q picture of
"Jack the Baptist. Standby School
Times.
A KANSAS farmer purchased a revol-
yer for his wife and insisted on target
practice, so that she could defend her
house in case Of his absence. After the
bullet had been dug out of his leg and
the COW buried, he said he guessed
that she'd better shoot with an axe.
In q recent scandal case in Smith
county, Kansas, lady witness declined
to answer question, and the attorney
demanded her reason. because it is
not fit to tell decent people," ooh,
WELL" said the lawyer, "iust walk up
here and whisper it to the judge"
A quaint writer says: st have seen
women so delicate that they were afraid
to ride, for fear the horse running away;
afraid to sail for fear the boat might
upset; afraid to walk for fear they might
fall; but never saw one Of them afraid
TO be married, which is far more riskful
than all the others put together"
JAMIE, having come into the posses
sion of considerable wealth through the
death of relatives, was thus addressed
by one Of his neighbors: ''Now, Jamie,
it was a gweed thing for you that such
rich frens were born afore ye. 'Weel,"
replied Jamie, "I'm no sac sure about
that; but it is gweed thing they died
afore mep'
IT was at the funeral of the head Of
a family. A neighbor in the church
yard, while the service was going on
inside, was speaking of the dead man,
and took advantage of the opportunity
to observe, in tone of subdued SYM
pathy, AN had just got in his Goals
and potatoes for the Winterl 1t is sad
casep
In the presence of the Duke Of Wei
lington q subalteFn ventured to describe
a tremendous leap he had witnessed
when out hunting.
'Most extraordinary, said the Duke,
"And did you really see this?"
1U :.Ioadf &c 7 bad not aoan ~