The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1877-05-20
CHAT BY THE WAY.

"a would rather, says Plutarch sthat men should
| say there never such person Plutarch than
| say that Plutarch is uufaiihfuLn But he q
heather, and never enjoyed the luxury Of govern
ment contract
Latimer once said that il no had an enemy whom
| il lawful TO wish evil he would wish him '.great
OF riches, for then he would enjoy quei'
| Would that some ancestor OF had been that
| enemy, and that he wish had been grat1ed.
Cato's daughter refused TO marry second time be-
her father rch and she afraid her
suitors looking at the old gcntemen's govern
ment coupons rather than at Der pretty face Human
nature has not improved since then, but fem
| inne timidity has materially decreased
II a monk, and. more than that, IL a monk
in fable who had his nsh,ng net tho table every
| day that he might be reminded Of his humble origin
As civilization advances like to lose the remcm-
brance Of these little fgcts
| ST. Augustine had prayer which q great many
| young men respond u hearty amen. He
| customed to shy with singular devotion, 30 Lord
| make mo good, but not yet awhile"
| After looking of the reports of certain
educational institutions we have to the conclu-
that tho rudiments Of teaching consist Of small
child and willowv rattan large amount OF know-
edge is introduced through palm OF the hand and
yet the child is ungraieiu ana parents complain.
| It's strange world.
mans religion consists OF his ability TO conjugate
the verD "To love-" When be begins with the first
person singular III love, he generally refers him
self tho object OF his Affection But after a while
he hears the voice OF the imperative mood, Glove
| thou and then he understands the pleasure, the
luxury u giving and orgivng, OF bearing and forbear
ing. AT last he cries out eve all love' and then he
treads the edge OF the millennium, and you may
expect him pay his honest debts, his DOCTORS
bill and his pew rent, and take his flight from tins
knotty and naughty world.
| Some peoples religion is just like wooden leg
There is neither warmth nor life IN IT, and although 1t
helps you to hobbIe along, IL becomes part Of
| you, but has to be strapped ovcry morning
/ Tho world is SO curiously made that when rich
man INDUCES In peccadiIlo people look it; but
| when poor man does the thing they look into
1t. In the ono case 1t is eccentricy, you know,
and In the other shameful thing, you know. Money,
| like charity, covers multitude OF sims
Cases very much altered by stances II
you ask tho blooming young lady to take pound of
tea to old Mrs. Brown who lives four blocks Off She
| says she is worn out and however much she would
ike to do It, she really can't she looks pale enough
ut the very mention of such thing to be the edge
Of hasty consumption But II there is to BIO german
and you object because IT is warm weather. the
exercise is too great she declares that fresh as
lark and that the gymnastics OF the dance are lust
what she needs. Old Mrs. Brown almost always has
wearing eject on young girl, but the anticipation
Of dancc with bouillon 10 keen the strength up ice
cream to cool of with and Adolphus TO protect her
| from highway robbery the why homo enables her
to endure the pangs OF living with becoming and
| plete resignation.
Marriage is very curious institution and IN some
OF It's effects 1t is startling During that dreamy pc
Rod which most delightfully."- prccedcs the benediclon
OF the priest If the lady wild you viii get
up before the sum- climb to tho mountains brow, cut
your hands, tear your clothcs deem 1t precious
privilege to pluck the only flower that has blossomed
and lay IL at tho feet OF the goddess But two years
| alter If the goddess wants flower she is the
most unreasonable creature tho world and If she
insists having it she may get 1t the hest way she
| can. Such is lite
Cornell University occupies very novel and prcpos-
ferrous position II was started as a neutral institute
ion where. in the words of the founder "a man can
learn anything" 1t turned out to be institution
where man could learn anything except the facts Of
Christianity How TO get neucr gender for the chair
| Of Hebrew was problem Professor Adler WAS at last
| chosen, as man who came nearer TO having no
opinion any religious subject than any other Now
II discovered that no has been delivering lectures
Nothingaranism III New York, and that tho Nothing
ar,ans arc just as much sect the Episcopaans
| MetIodls,s. SO Professor Adler gets leave OF alb
sence The Lord right when He made only two
gcnders, the masculine and feminine and this is
the first time have taught that the gen.
| der Is simply inonstrosty.
Some wit is to be found amid the penalties OF the
law. The Judge said ''Prisoner, you have thirty
days or s25.n The seedy nobcman, who had years
ago dropped the jewel OF his manhood whiskcy
bottle, looked out from under his shaggy eyebrows
and answered, "Your Honor, feel pretty poor Just
now, think will take SIS. Thank you
| A gossip IS man or a woman, best represented by
mark of interrogation followed by ono of exclsma-
ba,, Tia.
his bead significantly the fact that Deacon
Jones' cog snapped at the legs of ncghbor Burton
Just three O'Clock yesterday afternoon than most
people could at all The secrets in the Police Depart.
menL By that complex shake OF the head he can
communicate 10 you all tho details OF tragedy. You
know at once by the blink Of his Dyes and by
his dcprccatng gesture that tho why
Deacon jones' dog snapped at Burton is that tho
coachmau heard at the tavern, from tho lips Of
whose nother-in.law told him, that
it must have been Burton who stole Deacon jones'
chickens or else the dog wouldn't have snapped. lle
INN datcy asks you who Burton before lie was
married, where he was what he ana II there cvcr
was a tmo when no wasn't much as he was then
promising 10 Keep profoundly all the dreadful
facts you may tell him. lie is the product OF high
civilization II Is as impossible Tor him 10 keep from
making trouble as it would he Tor sculptor TO make
plaster cast Of a river s head OF navigation.
People may say what they please about age not
bong an age OF lah. We know many man. even in
our limited circle OF acquaintance, who has faith
enough 10 walk on the waters, and who wouldn't wet
hts feet in doing so provided the was thick enough
THE AMERICAN PILGRIMS
ADDRESS or CONGRATULATIONS To THE loIE by
THE CATHOLIC LA1TY OF THE ARCHDIOCESE
or NEW YORK.
The following Is the full text Of tho address Of the
aity Of the archdiocese Of New York the Pore,
which IS to be delivered TO him Tomorrow at Rome
whore with great pomp and ceremony the 6nicth
anniversary OF his cpscopocy is 10 be celebrated The