Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1877-06-08
From the New York World.
SOGIETY,S PET GAME.

| SSSAGA Il - - N4aA ~ A1s
The True Inwaraness of 'tCroqueI's-
A FaseinatIng Field for Research
a ssHOrrId CreaIuIe's'' UnmanI
ReaectiOns-sIt For Your own POF
trait. @
The season OF croquet is approach
ing. The front yard-of the semi
rural city's residence is as perilou
with hoops as his back yard will
clothes lines; the mallet lies glitter
ing in the dewy wreath of 5teddec
| grass mingled with fading flowers
the faint, garbage-pertumed breeze
of evening brings to the ear the clicl
of balls and shri1 allegations o
fraud-'You cheated" Il didn't!'
] 'TOh, what a storyp-followed by
crash of glass, a swiss of skirts anC
/ slam of the front door or garden
gate, which announce to the prac-
| tieed observer that one of the play
ers has slung her mallet through the
basement kitchen window and with
draws Indignantly from the game.
1
There are few popular sports that
present to the social scientist so fas-
cinating a field forJresearch. The
influence of a young womau'S feet
upon -her-plsy, for instance, IS re,
inarkable. She who hath feet that
Others than c6iropodists may inspect
with pleasure shall eommihgIe you
in her play dash and delIcacy, and,
planting firmly her superblyy booted
sole upoRAthe two adjacent balls,
calls attention to her ankles by a
few preliminary writhes and waves
of the2mallet, which at the proper
moment she brings down with the
vigor and nicely Of 'Thor's hammer;
while should her ball be driven to
that far gooseberry bush washed by
the farthest garden wall, how she
adventures for it lightly as an At
Atlanta or a swift Camilla, shooting
Parthian arrows of enchantment-
with her toes, like Miss Bifin. On
the other hand-or rather foOt-she
to whom Mrs. Belnap's gaiter
would be a Cinderella's slipper is
content to potter along, and when
by fuke she impinges on an ad-
verse bail and has her rival at her
feet, she shows it that mercy which,
alas! is not under similar-that is to
say reversed-circumstances shown
to her.
How valuable, again, are the in
dicatienssof character afforded by
the camel The born flirt and social
disorganizer RACES up and down the
field, separating those whom prefer
ence had linked together i'll remote
and unfriended corner, to them
neither melancholy nor slow, and
joining folk who have no affinity
for each other as relentlessiy as if
she were a marriage de cO7s0enGRce.
Different, though how like, is, the
woman who in her sacred madness
infuses so much method that she al
ways has her FIVE minutes intermis-
sion for conversational refreshneht
with precisely the right person
Consider, also, the hateful of the
field, to whom the satisfaction of
victory is not that she has won but
that some one else has lost, who will
90 u stroke ont of her way at any
time to drive an inoffensive ball TO
the ends of the earth, ,-a
Whose sole delight is slaughtering as she
Or let us contemplate the feminine
idiot irresistible in her inanity and
helplessness, who so fascinating
plays out of her turn and with the
wrong bsll, aud skips hoop or two
or insists on making an extra hoop
or two, and does it all with that
cheerful helplessness that no male
being but execrates in the abstract
and adores in the concrete.
Above sll should the socialphilos+
6phef seekto inquire why croquet,
an inoffensive and pastoral relaxa-
zion affected peculiarly by children,
women and elergymen, should inva-
riably inspire in its devotees, dishon-
esty, malice, hatred and all unchar-
itableness. 2As no man ever yet en-
tertained intimate relations with a
horse but virtue suffered, so no hu-
man being can enter upon a game
of crOquet and keep his integrity.
if the Enemy of Souls had stuffed
the handle of every mallet with per-
nicious essences as subtly as Dou-
ban, the physician, did the handle
of the sick kings polo-stick, the re-
suit could not be more universally
and notoriously evil. Gray haired
Judges, who would slay themselves
rather than dilapidate a trust fund
or sit on a packed commission, will
shamelessly contend that they hit
stake which the law and facts Of the
case declare they missed by the lati-
tude of chopine. The young girl
of limpid blue eyes, golden tresses
and ivory complexion over which
shimmers an lauroral blush, whom
poets and Psychologists regard as
less likely to he than her brunette
sister of the nervous sanguine type,
will, while engaging her companion
in conversation and becoming rapt !
in contemplation of the sunset
(which she will probably compare
with the pearly gates of heaven),
with malice, prepense and fore,
thought, being inspired of the devil,
silly joggle her ball into a better
line for her objective point. How
q man and woman can go through
s game of presbyterian billiards. 3 as
opponents or partners-especially as
partners-and retain any respect for
each other is a mystery. The pro-
cess of disenchantment is as sadly
thorough as is the first post-nuptial
spoiled breakfast, and the average
girl should shhn the croouet.feld |
when any one whom she desires to
impress faYorably is pr