The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1877-08-30
death" ON Adages.

|
have been an angel to-day but for thu
deceit of this false-hearted world. lie
wasn't one of set of triplets, anC
therefore didn't have hOnOrs showereC
upon him in his earlier days; but old
women said there was foundation there
for an orator, a great general, or phil
Osopher, and old men examined hi,
head and said it was level. Nothing
particular happened TO Christopher
Columbus until the eighth year of his
reign. His childhood days were full OF
mud pies, the butt end of shingles, pare.
| goric, castor-oil and old straw hats with
the brim worn off. He was deeI
thinker and close observer, for small
boy, and he was just innocent enough
to believe things which other boys
pitch out of the window without Sec
Ond thought.
When Christopher was going on nine
years old he heard some one say that a
'penny saved was two pence earned ~
He therefore laid big BungtOwn away
in a crack under the mOpboard, and
every day he looked to see it grow to
two cents. He had confidence and pa
tience; but at length both gave way.
Then he got the cent out one day, and
Mrs. Norton's baby swallowed it, and
that was the last of that Bungtown.
The youthful Christopher didn'tbelieve
in maXims quite as much as before, but
he had not cut his eye teeth yet. When
this boy was year older he heard it
said that "Truth was mighty, and
must prevail" and that boy who
always told the truth would surely
make great man. He commenced to
tell the truth. One day he got his
fathers razor out and hacked it on a
stone; and when the old gent came
home he asked "who i'm blazes done
that?" Christopher Columbus looked
up and said: sit was |, father-I
notched your old razor" "YOu did,
eh ?" sneered the old man, looking up
into the peach tree, "well, III fix you
so you won't notch another razor for
me-" And he cut budding limb, and
dressed that boy down until the youth
saw stars. Christopher Columbus de-
termined never to tell the truth again
unless by accident, and all through life
he stuck to the resolution.
When the lad was about twelve years
old he had read in a book that ''Honesty
was the best policy" He didn't half
believe it, bnt he thought he'd try, He
went to being honest. One day his
mother sent him to the grocery to buy
eggs and Bill Jones induced him to
squander the Change" in the purchase
of soda-water. When he got home his
mother asked for the little balance, and
Christopher explained. "Spent it for
soda-water, eh ?" she replied; "here
your poor old mother is working like a
slave, and you around swilling down
sOda-water | don't think you will
swill any more. / DON'T Come over
my right knee" And she agitated him
in the liveliest manner. That night as
he turned in his downy straw bed the
boy made up his mind that honesty
didn't pay, and he resolved to cheat the
whole world if he could. When Chris
topher was half year older he
came across the injunction: "Be kind
to the poor" He didn't know whether
it would pay or not; but he set abOutit.
He knew of woman who sadly needed
a spring bonnet, and he took over
his mothers along with a few other
things, including his fathers second
pair Ofboots, his own Sunday shoes, etc.
He went around feeling very big-heart-
ed until the old gent wanted to 60 to the
lodge one night and then it came out.
"Gi'n away my boots, eh !" inquired his
father; "lugged your mothers best
bonnet off, Ell? Well, l don't think
you'll remember the poor very much
after to-night?" And he pounded
Christopher Columbus with the pump
handle, and even then didn't feel as if
he had made a thorough job oft. They
fooled this boy once more. He heard
rich man say that everybody should
"Make hay while the sun shOr So
when there came a sunny day Che boy
went out, took his fathers scythe, cut
down the tulips, and hacked his sister
in the heel, and his mother came out
and led him around by the hair and
bounced him till he went into decline.
They couldn't bamboozle this boy after
that. lie grew more wicked every day
of his life, and before his eighteenth
birthday arrived he was hung.