Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1877-03-28
Spring House Cleaning.

Simon Wadso, returning home
with his arms fan of groceries and
his mind fun OF contentment at the
prospect of a well served dinner
and a quiet, cosy evening in the
bosom of his family, found his pro-
gramme, on arriving home, upset,
and the prospects of a quiet even
ing as badly shattered as looking
glass which a cannon ball had pass
ed through. Instead of a waiting
wife and dinner, carpetless floor,
soap paddles, and the furniture
stacked in pyramids, greeted him.
elias there been a fire. he
meebly inquired of the servant
girl as he deposited his parcels in
the coal scuttle, which had been
converted into an ornament for the
mantlepiece
"No, sir" replied tho usually
neat girl, who appeared to be in an
awful state of rags and soap suds.
"Visited by an earthquake 2" he
calmly asked, lifting a bar Of soap,
loaf of bread and a wet dish rag
off the crown OF his best silk hat
and smoothing it on his sleeve.
"Shure the nissus is house.
cleaning, sur" observed the help,
waving a dripping scrub brush
madly to and fro on the floor.
The wife of his bosom entered at
that moment, disguised with a
patch of stove-black on her fair
cheek, her nose fiery red from the
cold, pillow case worn as tur-
ban, a badly torn drees festooned
about her and her feet encased in
a pair of Wadso's Attic oversohes.
"Good gracious, Maria, what's
the NATTER" he exclaimed, glanc-
ing from his poor hat to his dis
reputable looking matrimonial part
ner.
"Why, Pm spring house cleaning,
and have got all the carpets up
and out in the back yard for you
to beat this evening"" she replied
in an exultant voice, "and I'm so
glad you're back to help Annie
and me move the stove"
"Don't you think, love" ne said,
gloomily, sit would be better to
hire a man to come ia the morning
TO beat them. /"
Nonsense, l won't have a strange
man here. You can just as well
shake them as not" she interrupt
ed briskly brushing his eighteen
dollar seal skin gloves off the top
of the sewing machine into a soap
puddle.
"When will dinner be ready 2"
he asked despondently as he res
cued his gauntlets and wiped them
dry with his pocket handkerchief.
"Oh, / had let the fire go out to
black the range. If you're hungry,
I'll get you something to eat she
replied, when having fished up an
ironing blanket, the family cat, q
sun bonnet and some clothes pins
out of the wash boiler, week ole
mutton bone and some cold buck
wheat cakes were discovered il
the bottom, the table spread on thu
mantle-piece, and dinner announced
as ready.
Wadso groaned in spirit at tn
sight of the unsavory viands, an,
his appetite vanished like a boy
kite when the string breaks.
Snow, If you're through, let
move the stove," said Mrs. W., aft
er allowing him seventeen second
to worry the mutton bone in.
Wadso rolled up his sleeves
mounted the kitchen table, gave
wrench at the pipe hard enough
haul on anchor out of the 'muC
The next moment the table ha
turned back somersault, he ha
peeled his shins and knuckl,
by falling over the stove, and h
wife was stamping around wit
tears in her eyes and about q pee
of SCOT pourd over her face.
"Therel I knew you'd do II
screamed Mrs. W., looking as
she were blackened for a neg
minstrel performance.
Waldso made no reply, his ate
ton being divided just then b
tween his lacerated shins and
broken window, through which
had driven the end of that intern