The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1877-07-13
PITH AND POINT.

A TUNE that young ladies try to catch;
q million air.
A SPLENDID ear, but a poor voice, as
the organ grinder said OF the donkey.
You know mock modesty as you do
mock turtle-from its being the produce
of Calls head.
"DoN'T you think, husband, that you
are apt to believe everything you hear9"
No, madam, not when you talk"
AN inquiring individual writes to
paper to ask how long COWS should be
milked?" "Why, the same as short cows,
of course!"
A LITTLE boy went to his mother and
said, Mamma, I'd think, if / was made
of dust, I'd get muddy inside when l
drink coffee" .E lr
WHAT'S the difference between the
lower part of the leg and the late comet?
Ones shin and bone, and the others
been and shone. nair1
A LITTLE boy, disputing with his Sis
ter on some subject, exclaimed cts
true, for ma says so; and If ma says 80,
it il so, if it amt So"
A BOY, writing to his sister, said:
ouIdu Jtllt OlDDS 10 Utue, dui net
mothers got twins. They are girls, and
this is awful fine weather for ducks.
"WHAT to eat and how to cook it," is
the title of a book recently published.
"What to eat and how to get it, would
meet with livelier sale among the labor
ing classes here just now.
THE man who is curious to see how the
world could get along without him can
find out by sticking cambria needle
into mill-pond, and then withdrawing
it and looking at the hole.
A sTRoNG-MIN woman was heard to
remark the other day that she would
marry a man who had plenty of money,
though he was so ugly she had to scream
every time she looked at him.
A LINE in one of Moore's songs reads
thus "Our couch shall be roses be-
spangled with dew" To which sensi-
bic girl replied "Twould give me the
rheumatic, and so it would YOU"
Two sable philosophers took shelter
under the same tree during heavy
shower. After some time one of them
complained that he felt the rain. "Neb-
Der mind" replied the other; "dere's
plenty of trees. When dis un am wet
through we'll go to de oder"
AT duel the parties discharged their
pistols without effect, whereupon one OF
the seconds interfered, and proposed that
the combatants should shake hands. To
this the other second objected as I'M
necessary; for, said he, their hands have
been shaking this half hour.
A NEGRO having been brought up be-
fore magistrate, and convicted of pilfer-
ing, the magistrate began to re-
monstrate. "Do you know how to
read?" eyes, massa-little. "Well,
don't you ever make use of the Bible ?"
Yes, massa, strap him razor on him
sometimes" t...,,s
A DRY GOODS clerk relates that very
pretty and stylish young lady called in
the store the other day and requested to
see some lavender kid gloves, whereupon
she was shown several different shades of
that color Being little overcome with
so great variety, she asked, (Which OF
those pairs are the lavenderest %
APPROPRIATE names For printers
wife, EN-; for sports wife, Betty; for
a lawyers wife, she; for Transfers
wife, Carrie; for fsherman's wife, Net
ty; for shoemaker's wife, Peggy; for
a carpet mans wife, Matte; for an
auctioneer's wife, Biddy; for chemists
wife, Ann Eliza; for an engineers wife,
Bridget.
Two eminent members of the Irish
bar, Doyle and Yelyerton, quarreled one
day SO violently that from words they
came to blows. Doyle, the more pow
erful man Cat the fists, at least), knocked
down his adversary twice, exclaiming
most vehemently, "You scoundrel, I'll
make you behave yourself like gentle
man! " To which Yelverton, rising, an
swered with equal indignation, "No sir,
never! defy you'll Idefy you! You can't
IL. ....raI.