The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-03-29
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

SENSE AND NONSENSE.
PALE-BLUB gauze is the fashionable
material for wells.
KNIFE-PLAIT1Na continues to be the
most fashionable trimming.
THIS thing is getting dangerous. A
Canada dog recently bit woman and died
almost Immediately afterward.
THE new rubber foliage for trimming
spring bonncts is odorous, not of the for.
ests, but of gutta percha. Pity it's, for
tits pretty.
ANYONE who can raise mustache that
will drop down over his mouth can con-
sistently sneer at the man who invented
coffee strainer.
A PARAGRAPHIsT remarks that the man
who denied that neuralgia comes on in
foggy weather is convinced now that it
was great mist-achc.
Mr.. HENRY BERaH has nobly come to
the defense of the Spitz dog, whose bite
he is sure is not worse than that of rabid
politician, and whose moral tone Is q good
deal higher.-N. =. Graphic.
A FEMALE teacher in one of the public
schools of Oshkosh, recently, in a fit of
passion at some misdemeanor of one of her
boy pupils, seized him by the ears with
such force as to rupture the skin and It's
sues.
A WRsT-SIDE man had Just said to a
friend: Lets take another" when his
wife turned the corner, but his duty to
his wife was not forgotten. "View OF the
political situation" he added.-CAicaoo
Times.
PUT away his little poem
Us to publish do not ask It;
Fame through us shall ncrer know him
He has climbed the colleen basket.
Gone to meet the communication writ
ten on both sides of the paper.-N. T.
World.
AN exasperated politician, who had
been called upon to define his position
once more than patience) ould endure, ex.
claimed: Define my fssitions Never!
If define it, the next thing I'll be called
upon to do will be to spell it."
WHEN poor man dies in Augusta, Ga,
he Tor his fricnds) lifts his wearied frame
into a s. 900 hearse and he rides off to his
silent home in more style than he would
he able to put on at his own living ex.
pcnse if he should live 1000 years.-Bur-
lington ek-Eye.
PROFESSOR OF CHEMISTRY: "Suppose
you were called to u patient who had
swallowed heavy dose of oxalic acid,
what would you administer" X. (who is
preparing for the ministry, and who only
takes chemistry because it is obligatory:
~ would administer the sacrament"
ADvERT1sING is a good thirg, but when
prominent grocer carried tOH funeral an
umbrella on which was paintsd conspicu-
| Ously the business of his hOue, and held
it over the preachers head willie he read
his prayers, the bystanders thought he
was running the thing into tn ground.
PURITAN CHURCH, Brooklyn, planned to
cost $4,000, cost $1OO,0W.-Grnphic,
| Nothing remarkable about taat. When
you hear of q church plannsd to cost
$780, 600 costing only 50, 900, please ap-
! prise us of the fact-and givcus q por-
trait of the architect. Htrald.
IT is an intense test of mans patience
| to get soap in his eyes while taking bath,
and then be forced to hunt and fish about
| for the cake of saponaceous material in
the bath-tub. Life has few joys which can
compensate for the feeling of weakness
which is cngendcrcd by the elusive hab.
its of that cake of soap.
| A WISCONSIN, man who had been in.
duccd by Western papers to go to Florida
and start an orange factory, passed through
breeches were harnessed to him by ont
suspcndcr, and he stood up to free luncl
counter with the air of man who knew
his rights and dared maintain them =
atlanta Constitution.
A BRIDGET, entirely new to the mystic
ries of marketing, seeing Q pet owl in from
1 81 ckn ,n1 10 sty
"What wad ye be askin' for that broad
faced goose.' "Goose! That's an owl,
was the contemptuous reply. "Owld i
it, you're sayin'! Sure its mesclf that Cal
bile the bird till it's tinder."
A BANK cashier in West Waterville, Me.
has the windows of his sleeping room
barred with iron rods, and the door is iron
grated, and thus he peacefully sleeps
graph wires SO arranged that after he re
tires for the night, not a door or window
of his house can be started without sound
ing an effective alarm.
A USE has been discovered for the hith
erto purely ornamental polccat. A Ne
braska farmer noticed one of the trib
busily eating from the ground in his field
and An cxamination-made after the pre-:
l "
had stripped the ground over which
had passed of the deposit of grasshoppe
eggs, which were about ready to hatch.
Mrs. flanagan was ailing, and calle,
the doctor to minister to her infirmities
A soothing draug:t and a blister on tn
chest was pres riLed. Calling the mex
applied the blister as directed, and wheth
er it rose. "Why, thin, doctor, dear
niver chist had to put it on, but ha
little bit of box, and put it on that
but sorra rise it rose and, faith, doctor
it's sticking there yet"
SMIFK1Ns always meant to be very pr
lite, and among the conventional rule
beaten into him was the one about "pres
ent company excepted" At q gatherin
of young Beacon Killers, the other ever
ing, allusion was made to the ackrow
edged good looks of Boston girls. "Yas,
said Smifkins, 1T is-ah-undOubted
twcw that Bahston ladies are bootiful,
and he turned smirkingly to his lady Iii
teners, 'pwcsent company exccpted-ah.
A CASE which should be q warning
strcct-car companies has been decided
England. It affects the responsibility {
railway companies for accidents Occurrin
to passengers through the OvercrOwding I
carriages. In train running from Cove
street station, London, one Of the carriag'
was full, and a passenger in compar
mcnt containing three more than j
proper complement had his haml hurt !
getting it caught in the door while
was attempting to stop any one else fro1
coming in. He sued the railway CON
pany for damages, and the jury gave
verdict in his favor. The courts sustaine
the verdict ON appeal.
The Story Of One Roast Pig.