St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1877-11-02
Squibs.


If we ever had cent of VIM. Tweed's
we do not see it about us now.
Democrat.
AT Brown University. Scene: Room
of one of the college officers. Enter
freshman with his hat on. Officer-''Do
you belong to the Society of Friends 7''
Freshman-"No, sir; have not pledged
myself to any society YETI Officer
"Then suppose you remove your hat"
81 will not learn trade !" exclaimed
the young Chicago blood to his father.
But this business of learning a trade is
only a matter of time, for within year
that young man was studying harness
making in state prison.
An exquisite, leading a dog by a
string, lounged up to the ticket office
window of II railway station last week,
and inquired "Must I-aw-take a
ticket for puppy" He was naturally
both surprised and annoyed when the
wildered tone, after moments refec-
ton "No, you can travel as an ordi-
nary passenger"
A traveller who dropped into Gou-
verneur, n. j., store the other day, just
after a recent fire, found the occupants
all talking about that matter. During
lull in the conversation the traveller
remarked to an old man sitting near by,
81 suppose everybody thinks the fire
was the work of an incendiary."
EWall," said the old man, ''some do
think so, but think it was Sot."
The other day mean man out in
Western Iowa, went off into a quiet
country place and died so quick that
his wife got his insurance money before
the company had time to fail. The
president says he never felt so swindled
and cut up since he has been in busi-
ness.-BurlingtOn HaaOkeye.
An old colored preacher was lectur-
ing youth of his fold about the sin of
dancing, when the latter protested that
the Bible plainly said, "There is time
to dance" eyes, dar am a time to
dance,n said the dark divine, land it's
when boy gets whippin' for gwine
to a ball"
The following incident happened in
one of the public schools of Philadel-
phia Teacher-''Define the word lex
cavate.'" Scholar-"It means to hol-
low out" Observation-Disclosures a SEN
tence in which the word is properly
used" Scholar-"The baby excavates
when it gets hurt"
A boy came along to one of our
neighbours houses, holding a very dirty
dog, and asked the gentleman of the
house "DOn't you want to buy dog,
Mister ~ "What kind of dog is it ?''
asked the gentleman. The boy looked
puzzled. "Well," said he, ''it is part
terrier" "And what is the rest 2" asked
the gentleman. "The rest" answered
the boy, "why, the rest is-is-just the
dog"
He was graduate of Harvard, and
he got position on one of the Phila-
delphia dailies last week. "Cut that
stuff of yours down." said the chief, as
the new man came in with column
''Do you desire jjudicious elimination
of the superfluous phraseology ?" mildly
returned the Harvard man. "NO Boil
it down ~ thundered the chief. The
new man is gone now-gone back to
Boston. He says there amt 'cultuah'
enough in Philadelphia.
We are in bitter need of an obelisk.
1t is thought that good healthy one
can be purchased for 100000. Would
it not be well to appropriate for this
purpose the money already collected
for the support of the New York poor
this winter? Food is desirable, but an
obelisk is absolutely necessary. Its
purchase has already been postponed
too long. An obelisk is as much more
valuable than a cold collation. as the
immortal mind is more important than
the perishing body.-Graphic.
We are obliged to the New Century
Art Publication Company for one of
their exquisite chromos, but we feel
compelled to return it with the request
that they send us some less elaborate
study in its stead. This picture, "Au-
tumn Scenes on American Farms," is
beautiful enough, the atmosphere is
marked with a rare transparency, the
foreground is marvellous copy of ma
ture, the perspective is perfect, the high
light, middle tint and background are
all good, the drawing is accurate and
the coloring delicate and natural, and
we will say the other things about it
when the company sends us the other
art slang. But we cannot hang it up
in our house. We have son, who will
in all probability be raised in the city,
and we cannot, without doing violence
, to the feelings of father, permit the
hope and staff of our declining years to
grow up, and by constant study of that
, picture, fall into the belief that Ameri-
can farmers, in tight boots and claw
hammer coats, and their wives and
daughters in princesse dresses and Va
lenciennes lace and kid slippers, go out
in the autumn with pair of blOoded
horses and basket phaeton, and gather
blood-red and golden yellow apples of
the same spreading, gnarled and rugged
oak tree, glowing in all the flaming
, splendor of the autumn glorified maple
Take back your picture, and give us a
David and Goliah, with green grass and
red blood. Don't put in much grass
but pile on the blood Burlington
Haaokeye.
Eyes have they but they see not
, potatoes. Ears have they, but they
hear not-corn-s stalks. -[Detroit Free
2 Press. Arms have they, but they
1 hug ot-windmill.-[ Yonkers Gazette
Tongues have they, but they talk moi
wagons Poughkeepsie Press. Legs
e have they, but they walk not-tables.-
: [Poughkeepsie News. Heads have they
but they think not-cabbages.-[Hu
d son Register. Hands have they, bu
5 they toll not-tramps.-[C Camden Post
$ Noses have they, but the smell not
a pitchers.-[N. Y. Express. Lips have
: they, but they kiss tulips Phil
adelphia Bulletin. Teeth have they
but they chew not-bucksaws.- De
e tIoit Free Press. Wings have they, bu
} they, fly not-houses. Feet have they