Connecticut western news., 1877-12-21
WIT AND WISDOM

A travelling dentist has hung out the startling sign-"2th pullin'." -s, ,.,..
 If honesty is the best policy, give it trial before taking anybody's word for it. .G.'s-1t.
 Young Man Who Wears-Last- Win ter's-Hat is more numerous now than formerly.
 Break, breaky break,
 On thy doctored books, o, bank,
 Let the brazen check of the President fled
 Tell how the securities shrank T, -.
 The trouble with some people is that they get their convictions 80 mixed up with their dyspepsia that no one can separate them in this world.
 Memory can glean but can never re- new. It brings us joys faint as is the perfume of the flowers, faded and dried, of the summer that is gone. '.
 During thunder storm two ..dogs. that howled dismally at night, were struck by lightning and killed. Howl ing dogs should cut this out and paste it in their hats.
 "Is tho correct name of this planet Earth or Terra ?" Answer By its own inhabitants it is properly called Earth ; Terra IS the name by which it is known by residents of other planets. .... D
 Many people are fond of the com pany of their physician, because he is the only person with whom they dare talk continually of themselves without interruption, contradiction. or censure.
 Haste usually turns upon matter of ten minutes too late, and may be avoided by habit like that of Lord Nelson, to which he ascribed his success in life, of being ten minutes too carry.
 It is said that he or she who admits the possession of secret has already half revealed it. Certainly it is great deal gained toward the acquisition of Q treasure to know exactly where it is.
 There are souls which fall from heaven like flowers but ere the pure and fresh buds can open they are trodden in the dust of the earth and lie soiled and crushed under the foul tread of some brutal hoof. .-.-g.7t s
 -~rPapa," said bright Springfield boy just home from slight-of-hand en- tertainment, 1T wis wash @ coniurer." "Why. my son ?" II would turn you into rat, call up the cat, and wouldn't I have fun !' ....-3
 The condition and characteristic of vulgar person is that he never looks for either help or harm from himself but only from externals. The condition and characteristic of philosopher is that he looks to himself for all help or harm.
 Whatever poets may write or fools believe of rural innocence and truth and of the perfdy of courts, this is undoubt- edly true-that shepherds and minist CTS are both men, their natures and passions the same, the modes of them only differ ent. ......
 A Frenchman having heard the word "press made use of to signify persua- sion, as, Press that gentleman to take something to eat," took occasion at party to use term which he thought synonymous, and begged friend to squeeze a lady to sing. .. ... ..'s,a...
 =" Mamma, where do the cows get the milk ?" asked Willie, looking up from the foaming pan of milk which he had been intently regarding. "Where do you get your tears ?" was the answer. After thoughtful silence he again broke out Mamma, do the COWS have to be spankedp" ..a.G@s< <#..
 -"You wasn't around when they dealt out hair, was you?" said red-haired man to bald headed man in railroad car. "Yes, was there," said the man with the skating rink on the top of his head II was there, but they offered me handful of red, and I told them to throw it into the coal souttle to hndle the fire with" .
 A little fellow, five or six years old, who had been wearing undershirts much too small for him, was one day, after having been washed, put into garment as much too larger as the other was too small. Our six-year-old shrugged his shoulders, shook himself, walked around, and finally burst out with, Ma, I do feel awful lonesome in this shirt ..