The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-07-19
PASSING SMILES.

EXERCISE in moral comparison-get
on; get honor; get honest.
WHEN love is warmest, praise is loud
est-the heart helps the tongue.
YOUR character cannot be essentially
injured except by your own acts.
He that loses anything and gets wis
dom by it, is gamer by the loss.
The speaker who took the floor"
has been arrested for stealing lumber.
"THE Inebriate's Home" says MORN
ing paper. Glad to hear it. Hope he'll
stay there.
LOUISVILLE Courier-Journal: Mr..
Born died at Adrian, in the State of
Michigan, a few days ago:
THE King of Siam signs himself
"Chu Long Korn." 1t is better, how
ever, in the shape of succotash.
How wonderful this honest man,
| Whom we are called to mourni
Although he lived full four-score years,
He died when he was Born.
"THE Rhabdoskidopheros" is the
name of a new style of umbrella The
advantage of it is that nobody can ask
to borry it.
ANY man who can pronounce the
HdIlle Ol OeueTdI ItIOkOlIoCullZSky Is
not only sober and industrious, but an
ornament to society.
A VETERAN shopkeeper says that al
though his clerks are very talkative
during the day, they are always ready
to shut up at night.
A WISCONSIN eagle, killed the other
day, had eleven bullets in its body. 1t
was probably going off somewhere to
| found lead mine.
WOULD citizen of Stoneham appro-
priately be called Stonehammerer, and
citizen of Randolph Randolphin, and
native of Youville Youvillain?
A YANKEE journal mentions James
Clark and wife, who were "born, died
and buried on the same day" Jenny
and his wife must have been awfully
young.
A STATESMAN, we are told, should fol-
coachman follows his horses; having
them.-Hare.
To BE in company with those we love,
satisfies us; it does not signify whether
we speak to them or not, whether we
think on them or Indifferent things;
TO be near them is all.
WOULD it be inappropriate to call the
pantaloon department of a clothing
store the pantry Philadelphia Bulletin.
Might Just as well call the vest depart
ment the vest-ibule.-Fulton Times.
BENEATH this marble one old Marble lies;
This marble truly tells that Marble dies;
AT the last trump old Marble shall be rent;
Marble shall rise, yet not this monument;
For marble never lived and never dies,
Yet Marble did live, still lives, and never dies.
New YORK Tribune: The cost of
producing sheet music which sells for
one dollar is eighteen cents; there ought
to be no discord in the trade as long as
the scale of profits reaches SO high
note.
A WOMAN in New York lately at
tempted to hang herself, but several
neighbors rushed in and cut her down
before any harm was done; whereupon
the disgusted husband declared that
I" some folks had better stay at home,
and not meddle with other folks af-
fairs"
THE following advertisement appeared
in a recent London paper: "TO Christ
ians-A pious young man never having
the blessing of the use of his limbs,
through being set on wet grass in child
hood, earnestly solicits forty-two postage
stamps, in return for which he will send,
free, six best nickel silver teaspoons to
any part of London"
A DARKEY in Natchez was boasting to
a grocer of the cheapness of ten pounds
of sugar he had bought at rival shop.
Let me weigh the package" said the
grocer. The darkey assented, and it was
found two pounds short. The colored
gentleman looked perplexed for mo-
ment, and then said: :" Guess he didn't
cheat dis chile much; for while he was
gettin' de sugar, | stole two pair of
shoes"
| WE were standing in the doorway
My little wife and l;
| The golden sun upon her hair
Fell down silently.
small white hand upon my arm
What could l ask for more
Than the kindly glance of loving eyes
As she kissed me at the door?
Who cares for wealth, or land or gold,
Or fame, or matchless power?
| 1t does not give the happiness
OF Just one little hour,
With one who loves me as her life
| And says she loves me more;
And thought she did this morning
| As she kissed me at the door.
AS Lord Crawford and Lord Boyd
were one day walking over the lands in
Ayrshire, they saw Burns plowing in a
field hard by. Lord Crawford said to
Lord Boyd, "Do you see that rough
looking fellow across there with the
plow? Tll lay you wager you can not
say anything to him that he will not
make a rhyme Of" "Done," said the
other; and Immediately going up to the
hedge, Lord Boyd cried out '' Baughr'
Burns stopped at once, leaned against
the plow, and surveying his assailant
from head to foot, he quietly answered ::
"It's not Lord Crawford, but Lord Boyd.
OF grace and manners he is void
Just like bull among the rye.
, Cries baugh' at folks as he goes by"
The wager was, of course, won.