Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1877-10-31
amor.

G.. A. Dana's income as editor and
stakeholder of the San is said to be
over $4,000, but he earns every cent of
it.-Er. You're right he does. If the
champion liar Of glorious country
like this amt worth that, what is he
worth ?-Ca,lde,o Post.
Barnum is said to have remarked as
he looked upon a California artists
painting of a COW, Good gracious, do
you mean to tell me that's from life?
If there is really such a strange beast
in existence, I'll have it for my show, if
it costs ten thousand dollars
Miss Sarah Bernhardt, the distin-
guished Paris sculptor, has a fearful
temper, and when she gets mad"
which she does easily and often, she
smashes to pieces whatever she is at
work upon. They say the position Of
small boy is always vacant in her
studio.
Brandy, hope" murmured sailor
on desert isle, when he stopped to pick
up large black bottle which the waves
had washed to his feet. Beer, ex-
pect," he said softly, pausing in his la
Dor of tugging at somewhat obstinate
cork. Tracts, by Jingop' he indig-
nantly exclaimed, when the edifying
but scarcely convivial contents Of the
flask were exposed to view.
The steamer had struck, and while
the passengers were hurriedly making
preparations for their safety, fat old
Dutchman seized q life-preserver, and,
trying it on, began to fill it, blowing tilK
he was red in the face with his efforts.
HALO" said a bystander, you can't
fill that thing there's a big hole in it. y
| A blank look came over the Dutchman's
face. ''Mein Colt, is dat so; den [ bet
ter, keeps my wind in me-
And so they have. elected you
Speaker of the House, remarked Mrs.
Randall to her husband the other even
ING, as the two walked down the steps
of the Capitol Eyes, dear" Well,
they can elect you Speaker of the House
all they want to- continued Mrs. R.,
sharply; +" but of course .youA will I'M
derstand. Samuel, that continue to be
boss of the house." The Speaker said
the clerk would proceed to call the ayes
and noes, but Mrs. Randall said it would
be taken by consent"
They we're what the world calls q en-
gagged" and they were going to visit
some Of her relatives thirty miles dis
tant. Two railroads ran to the home Of
the latter. and the lovers were undecided
which one to take. There is a long,
dark tunnel on the O. Road, isn't
there?" she innocently asked. He said
there was. And none on the B
line?' she further inquired. He Sid
there was not ''Then let us go by way
Of the @ y Road" she softly muir
INJURED. And they s,ent-Nor. Herald.
The inventor Of flying machine in
San Francisco knock ed man down for
speaking with doubt of his continuance,
which he was exhibiting in the street
preparatory to the slight remodeling ;"
necessary in such cases. A policeman
Ia fly cop) dumped the inventor and his
model into an express wagon, and, al
though the prisoner set his machine to
Tapping, he only succeeded in drawing
noisy crowd without pluming his own
flight to some lone rock in the friendly
Pacific At the station they put his
worlds revolutionizer in the coal house
and locked him up for assault and
battery.
Reckon that air scales of yourn is
an Ambush scales, amt it?" said a
countryman to his grocer as he took
the sugar and handed over the money.
Ambush scales, what do you mean p
replied the merchant who's Am
bush p Ambush-why, y know
reg'lar Ambush-y' understand what
Ambush means, don't yep Wall,
should hope SO, Mr.. Woodruff Am
bush means hid-m cans somethin' con-
cealed = means wait, here's the die
tionary I'll just read to yer exactly.
what it means, so's't you needn't never
use it wrong after this-here 'tls-A-
am ambush-to lie it wait for y
"Yis, that's it, squire; don't so no fur
ther-to lie in weight fer two cents p