The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1877-04-27
WHAT THE WITS SAY.

One of woman's inalienable writes-put
ting "P. S. to aletter.-New York Com
mercidl
Last evening at the Telephone concer
an appropriate piece was omitted: "Thor
art so near and yet so far.''-PniIa. Butte
tin.
Mr.. I7jams was recently registered at the
Hotel Bates, in Indianapolis. His brother
Jim is very well known in this city.-N. Y
Com. Ady.
Six year old" Mamma, what are twins
made for? ?' Precocious older brother
$50 that Cannibals may eat philopenas.' y
NJ 7. Herald.
Even if boy is always whistling ~
want to be an angel" it is just as well tc
keep the preserved pears on the top shell
in the pantry..-Rome Sentinel.
So many hotel clerks have gone into bank
ruptcy in Philadelphia since the close OF
the Centennial that a very fine cluster dia-
mond pin can be had there from fifteen
cents down.--Easton Free Press.
Chamberlain, the Washington gambler,
can pay his creditors only one cent ON the
dollar. They should accept it with rcsig-
nation, and softly whistle the Ninety and
Nine Cleveland Leader.
"How long can Governor Nichols hold
his people % anxiously asks the Richmond
Enquirer. That we can't answer; it's no
uncommon thing, however, for Louisiana
politician to have more than he can hold.
A Rome lnilkman put pane of blue
glass in the top Of his milk can, and when
lie went to deal out milk to his first custom
er, found pond lilies and couple of three
pound pickerel in the can. Next!-
Sentinel.
Moses was civil engineer. He surveyed
the promised land.-N. 0. Republican. No,
he was a mining engineer. He viewed
'' the landscape ore." Boston Post. This
is Horeble; he was Wall street engineer.
He was little bare among the bullrushes.
n. z. Herald.
A starving Chinanan, who was taken in
to the Cincinnati hospital, few days ago,
for resuscitation, attributed his woeful
plight to the fact that he had started
laundry in Louisville. He sums up his ex-
perience in single line: Kentucky-two
weekee-one shirtee.-Er.
This is the way the Courier-Journag puts
it: A deputy marshal recently shot at a
negro, whom he was trying to arrest, and
slightly wounded a Miss Hearn. The negro
happened to be near the young lady, and of
course the marshal thought the form he
was shooting was hisn'n instead of Hearn.
A lady correspondent of the Journal con-
cluded her letter as follows: "Bu5 I have
already wearied you," etc. The vil1ainous
type-setter made it read: "But have al
ready married you. This is only one of
the ten thousand little annoyances that a
newspaper man has to osrtfer.-LoaoeN Jour-
nal.
An3 niO' VIZ lAfo hs 1tu Ill our CIliiuTtu,
sighs the fond mother, and rs she looks
out of the window, suddenly adds: John
Henry, you pesky little wretch, come right
out of .aat mud. do declare, you havn't
got sense enough to last you from ten
O'Clock till dinner.-EGston Flee Press.
elbows that mast ON the Wabash ?' in-
qulred the executive officer Of that frigate
Of a naval constructor, who had been max
ing an investigation. "Mast on the Wa
bash"' repeated the Secretary of the Navy.
hurrying up from the rear. 81 know all
about that. The beech mast is all gone,
the acorn poor, and if it wasn't for the shell
barks they wouldn't get grease enough out
o. their pork to fry q corn-cake,'' and the
Secretary, disappeared, humming
A life on the ocean wave
A home on the rolling deep.