The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1877-10-27
A Little Too Prompt.


My neighbor Partridge made an ar
rangement with Judge Pitman that
whenever the latter heard Partridge
spring his watchman's rattle the Judge
should understand that burglars were in
Partridge's house, and he should come
over to help drive them out. One night
shortly after, Partridge had been up to
the city, and he came home in the late
hours, reaching his house after mid
night. To his vexation he found that
the hired girl had forgotten about him
and locked the front door. After ring
ing the door-bell furiously for half an
hour without waking anybody, he went
around to the yard, and, procuring a
crowbar from the shed, he pried open a
window-shutter He was just about to
raise the window, when Mrs. Partridge,
aroused by the noise, came to the second
story window and saw a burglar engaged
in entering the house. She flew to the
front window and sprang the rattle.
Partridge's first impulse was to run
around and call his wife and explain
But he knew that he couldn't make her
hear while the rattle was going. SO he
thought he would go inside and calm
her fears. He pushed up the sash and
climbed upon the sill. Just as he got
his body half way in, the catch on the
window slipped, and the heavy sash
came down and held him there, SO that
he could neither get in nor out. While
he was struggling TO release himself the
Judge arrived with his shotgun and a
lantern, and a dog and hired man. As
soon as the Judge saw the burglar in the
window, he banged away with his gun
and poured both barrels at the scoun-
drel. The gun scattered good deal and
! the Judge was nervous, so only about a
hundred shot struck Partridge. And
then the Judge turned the dog on and
let him take a few hearty bites; while
Mrs. Partridge, seeing that the burglar
was helpless, came down and scratched
out handful or two of his hair, and
then thumped him with crumb-brush.
AT last the hired man seized the bur-
glar by the legs and drew him out, and
then, as the Judge was about to pound
him with the butt of his gun, he
shrieked that his name was Partridge,
and that it was all mistake The
Judge examined his features and found
that it was indeed Partridge. Then he
said:
"By George, old fellow, I'm most
awful sorry. You know | thought you
were -
90 no matter what you thought-no
matter what you thought, you internal
old idiot! It's enough for me to know
that what you didn't shoot out of my
leg that diabolical dog of yours bit out p
Your wife sprang the rattle, SO
40 I'll fix her! Lifted pref ty near
all the hair out of my head, and Drained
ME with club. Did it ON purpose. |
know mighty WE'LL A divorce is what
I'll get for her! And the very first
thing I'll do in the morning will be to
have you arrested for murder. Pm
going to set cut here on the fence and
go to an alderman's as soon as daylight
dawns"
The Judge and Mrs. Partridge tried to
soothe him, but he refused to be com
forted; and when the Judge went home
Partridge sat on the ash-barrel and
meditated revenge while Mrs. Partridge
stood at the window and cried. But he
went in at breakfast time, and by the
time he was able to lay aside his
crutches he was disposed to take less
gloomy view of the tragedy. His pres
ent arrangement with the Judge, how
ever, is that when the Judge hears an
alarm he is to stay at home and lock his
dog up somewhere.