Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1877-11-15
N0n's Better HuZf.

A female at eighteen wants five trlnk>
when she travels. AT fifty she can get
along with bottle of cold tea.
There are over LOO women telegraph
clerks in London. and only one of them
has been dismissed in four years.
The Louisiana lady who put on he
hat..and walked over to neighbors when
she saw a rattesnakc cIllcd beside he
sleeping husband, is the heroine Of t, e
age.
"A Massachusetts, girl c:.rned s. and the
gratitude of neighbOring farmers by killing
potato bugs. Then she took the money and
bought her lover a flute. Let us draw a
veil over the scene.
"A newspaper writer says: '.American
women take mitch better care ofthemselycs
than formerly" He might have added
that many OF thes.i take care of their hus-
bands and brothers also.
She saw the placard in front of the
bookstore, "1ou can get That Husban |
of Mine for dollar" and as she passed on
she muttered, IL have one | will sell for
half that much"
Marriages are not so plenty as usual.
The young ladies' ought to get up Il strike
for their altars. The strike tor the fires can
cone in atterwarl. When the question of
building them comes up.
The time woman gets on her dignity
is when she has her false ll:;ir on the bu,-
reau, and her false teeth in Il tumbler, and
a band of music begins to play on the cor
ner. and she cannot lean out of the window
to see it.
There is untold honor. fame and gold
awaiting the man who will invent Il steam
hired girl that will f:.s:cn The alley gate at
night. and one who can he got up in the
morning without raising an alarm of
fire.
-''lIOw is it that you have never kin
died flame in any mans heart?' asked a
rich lady of her pOrtiOnless niece. IL sup
pose, aunt, it is boc;ju e III not good
match" mcelly replied the poor neice.
-''llow much are those fearful bulbs bv
the quartz askeda maiden ofa trltleslnan.
the other morning. He stared at her Il
moment. as if beNillc,ed. but soon recov-
cred himself, and blliily said: oh. them
unglms? Tenpence"
A spinster Lady of fifty. remarked the
other day. that she could 90 alone at six
months. YES" said her hateful young
halt-brother, land you've been going it
alone ever since, and never euchred ANY,
body"
A mother. in commencing her daugf-
ter to situation, was asked if she was an
early riser. "-\n early riser?" she eXclai,n-
ed. IL should think so. Why. she's up in
the morning. and has breakfast ready. and
makes all the beds. before any one else is
up in the hOuse!'
-"AdOlphus, dear. what shall | do?
Bridget has struck, and there she stands at
the kitchen door with poker in one hand
and saucepan in tie other. threatening to
break the head of the new help if she dares
to lay her hand to a dish-rag.'
A gentleman in San Francisco. whose
Chinese cook left him. was unable to retain
any of the numerous Johns for over Il
day. until he induced one OF them to ex-
plain that some apparently meaningless
strips OF red paper on the kitchen-wall con-
tanned the Chinese Inscription. Boss
woman long time tongue. Muchae Jaw
jaw"
A young husband had listened all the
evening to his wife's selections from War-
ner, and he slept very soundly. Towards
midnight cats assembled in the back ward
and yowled frightfllly. The sleeper did
not get up and throw bootjacks at them.
but turned on one elbow and whispered in
his dreams: ''Sing it once Elore. Elyira
sing it once more