, 1877-08-19
PIOUS JOKES.

Said Sunday school teacher the other lav
"Wlio was Luthcr:" Replied a Jersey boy
"ue made Matches"
"Providence is on our side," as Su1eima,
rasha remarked when the ammunition vaeo]
drove up with the Rhode Island supplies.
wicked man killed himself in the loves
icvS1 OF Nevada mine, aud tho account says
Thus bis alleged soul was saved over hall
mile Of transportatiou.''
Not ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS minister: " Dom
YOU know it's wicked to catch fish on the Sab
tathe' Small boy {not having had a rise all th,
moFhing); " Who's catching tish!"
-" you believe 10 the forgiveness OF saints ani
Inc forgiveness Of sinnersa" is the way In whicl
oasutul young minister OF 4 PRESBYTERIAN
Church put the question to some new convert
he Was RECEIVING into his fold.
An old citizen in a country vil}aee. IN hsvfne
. subscr1ption-list handed him toward purchas
| ing a new Eearse for the place, thus EXCUSED
himself: paid IS for q new hcazse FORT
years ago, and me md nv folks haIn't hal th
benefit Of IL yet"
Two men going through the Verrnillion Rive
bridge, the other evening, were overheard dis
| cussipg the strike. Said one: "But doesn't tn
Bible say, Strike till the last urmeA toe ex
presr That's TACT" said the other; I"
didn't think ct that
J PHILADELPHIA grocer being solicited 10 con.
| tribute to the building OF church, promptly
subscribed his name to the pat,er in tie follow.
| ing eccentric manner: "John Jones (the ouly
place in town where you can get eleven pound:
Of sugar for dollar), Is cents"
Edith's mamma was sick, and the little one
felt, as she expressed it, "yery mournsul." At
night she prayed: ''U Lord, please to make nv
dear mamma well again. She must have caten
something that didn't digest Don't let her be
sick any more: for it's no fun to her, nor to me
either"
An Ohio divine was asked to explain to an au-
Bac-Ka-C Che" Ih." said he. ~ am ante
familiar with the word My son called my A.
TENTH 70 it year or two ago. 1t is Hebrew
cation. It means : Ny God.'" People laugL-
cd, but Why!
'' what's -FOUR 6guref' said 4 bridegroom
{putting his hand in his pocl1et) to the clergy
man that had Just married him. He meckly rc-
piled: " The law allows me s." 'Does i'll"
exclaimed tue young husband. Well, that's
liberal. But here's 50 cents more: so now
you've Sa.5o,' and away be wcut, before tho
poor parson could explain.
Closedst and his son lived together They
were both exceedingly economical in their lai-
its. Young CloScGst was not anxious for mis-
fathers death. He knew the old mans money
was atf right, and there was no necessity to
trouble about it. One day the old man fcIl dan
gerousfy i'll. and asked his son to run for ply
sician. Closetst, juuor, with long face: "But,
father, you know low these doctors charge"
'' Never mind, my sou, it will be cheaper; fu-
Dcras ART awfulY expensive just now"
For some time past the negroes have been
holding revival meetings every Sunday night at
q house in Hanover street. Last Sunday night
and as sang on s Eos you staa min &
my heart pull him out and show him to me face.
Fetch him 'long." One old negro who had
been sitting very quietly in tho window asked
if he could say something. and, being answered
IL the a,ifmatlv he ;i1 reared: "o Lord! conc
sou break any," This was too much for the
:" good ones y; theY thought that the broth
er" was making fun Of them, and ono Of the
!" leading men" Of the congregation seized
hurled it at the brother in the window. It Just
missed him, and he departed in hurry.
A clergyman, widower, recently created
quite q sensation IN his household, which con-
sisted Of seven grown-up daughters. The rev.
ercnd gentleman was absent from home for a
couple of days visiting III an adjoining county.
Tie daughters received letter from their
father which stated TINT he had :.ma1ried
widow with six sprightiy children,'' and that he
might be expected home at certain time. The
effect OF that news was great shock to the
happy family. The girls, noted Tor their meek
set Of beings; there we're weeping, and wai1ing,
and tearing OF hair, ami all manner of naughty
thin@s said. The tidy home was neglected, anu,
when the day of arrival came, the house was
anything, but inviting At last the Rev. Mr.
- came, but be was alone He greeted bis
daughters as usual. and rs hc viewed the
neglected apartments, there WAS i merry
twinkle in his eye. The daughters were nervous
and evidently anxious. At last the eldest
mustered courage and asked, "Whcre is our
mothcrs" ain Heaven" said the good n,a,..
Z. Eut where is t].e widow with six children
whom you wrote you had married4" "Why, i |
married her to another man, my dcars," he re-
plicd, delighted at the SUCCESS OF bis Joke
r1SFEATuER DONATIONS.
We are indebted to the Rev. Dr.. Natlack, !
lately OF New Orleans, for the following anec- |
lote Of our colored brethren, which appeared !
II tue Methodist Church, E1tsasion -d'tnaot tor |
1876:
In 1869 series OF missionary meetings was
leld in the colorcd Mcthodist-Episcop churches
If New Oslcans. At one Of these it was ar
.angcd that att eccentric veteran named /
scott Chinn should make the last speech
mi take tho collection. The brother who ]
preceded him greatly tried the old mans
>atiencc by the length OF his address,
: He'll spite the meetin," said Brother
1niun to the doctor who presided. "He's too
ung in de wind, too much bioWin'."
BE patient, be patient" said the DOCTOR
30, Is patient enough" said he; "'but de
,eople's gettin' tired, and darkey won't gib de
money!" said the old philosopher.
At length the long speech closed With an
Eloquent reference to tue an@e! OF the Apoc-
fvpse flying through the heavens, having the
ver!astins Gospel to preach: