The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1877-04-20
FRESH FLASHES OF FUN.
One often sees neat little craft an
chorpd in n hAV-WindoW

Newark bellies. They prefer hymen.
A well-molded arm is preUtier without
bracelets; besides, they are liable to
scratch q fellows ear.
Girl-"How much is that big turkey a
pound" Dealer-"Fwenty-ave cents a
pound" G.rl-"Give me about half a
pound."
The author OF that beautiful song,
"Mothers Hair is Turning Gray" has
just issued the companion piece, "Fath-
er's Nose is Turkey Red"
"Did you notice how splendidiy went
through that last reel at the ball last
night, TomW eyes, aud also noticed
that you kept it up all the way home"
On being asked what he thought fire.
flies were made for, little boy an.
swered: ~ think G I'd made them for
candles to light the little frogs to bed"
One OF our contemporaries heads an
article, "Who Shall Leadr A very
briet examination Of Hoyle will show
that the man next the dealer should do
SO.
The Boston Traveller rises to remark
that the best part OF the hand-organ is
the stops. Now, to Puck's thinking, the
refrain Is the altogether preferable Tea
ture.
An Irlshman having bought pair of
boots that were too small Tor him,
| "Fdith," says he, 81 shall have to wear
them thray or Iour times before / get
them onlH
An exchange says there bis great de-
mand in New Orleans for the cholcer
| brands Of apples. Among these, it is
sale to infer mat the Northern spy" Is
not included.
| A great many anecdotes are related
Of personal bravery. We should like TO
see the man who would deliberately al
low woman TO catch him making
mouths at ner first baby.
"Teddy, my boy, jist guess how many
cheeses there are Ill this bag an iaith
L'll give you all the five" "r'ive, TO be
sure" said Teddy. "Arrah DaG luck to
the man that t0uld yep
A schoolmaster asked one of his
scholars i'll tue winter time what was
tue Latin lor cold. son." said the lad,
IL forget at this moment, although /
have il at my finger ends"
| Growing boy on the fence to boy on
| the walk: "You amt got no baby at
your house." Sueering boy on tue walk
| TO boy on the fence: II don't care; our
dog has got six pups, aha-a."
In giving geography lessons, a school
master down East asked boy: "What
Safe 40 you live in?' 10 which the
!: boy drawled through his nose in reply:
"a state of sin ana misery"
A clergyman recently aroused his
sleepy audience by asserting in the
most positive manner that, "notwith-
standing the hard times, the wages OF
sin had not been cut down one iota."
A young lady in Boston refused to at
tend church because her new bonnet
had not been sent home. 81 hate the
devil and all his WORKS." said she; sDut
l hate an old-tashioned bonnet more"
DIR. Schliemanns recent order on a
London hardware house for two hun
dred crowbars is gratifying evidence
that he intends 10 continue his success-
ful labors IN the ancient City of Priam.
The crocus is beginning to hatch in
the East, the caucus in the south, and
the locus in the -[Graphic. And
the circus in the NurLn.-[ Norristown
HeraIu. Ana general oussedness all
over.
A contemporary describes Post-Ofice
as "a place where you stand shiyerIng
for halt an hour for the privilege of ask
ing blut fellow through a pige0n-nole
when he expects a letter from your
grandmother"
Robert Collyer thinks people better
marry young Graphic. That is what
Brigham OF UUah thinks, too. And a
great many people oil that Territory
especially women-do marry Young
Norris town Herald.
The Boston musical critics lind fault
with Madame Essipoff's playing. Ii
Beethoven and Mozart were Lo maleriaI-
lze and give concerts, the Hub wiseacres
would probably have something to say
about their want OF technique and exc
cution.
AS cheering instance Of educational
progress in Texas, IL is stated that all
boys over five years Of age attending
public schools in that State are now i'm
peratlvely required to take off their bow
ie-knives and reYolvers before entering
the school-room.
She'll, the dramatist-an Irishman-
one day being at a rehearsal where
Charles Young was playing the hero, in
tending to give peculiar effect to the
situation, cried out: "Here, Mr. Young,
you must draw your sword and lind you
have not got one."
Out in Montgomery County, Oregon,
there is a lady lawyer. She is, or was,
married, and the other day client went
to her office and found the door locked,
with the following notice pinned on the
outside: "Gone to my husbands funeral;
back in thirty mlnuLes."
An exchange encouragingly remarks
that the average young man is SO unre-
liable that fathers ought to hide their
daughters. What the average young
man is afraid of is not so much that a
father will hide his daughter as that h
will hide the average young man.
A quiet, reserved, timid woman wear
her hat away alt, like make-shift rud-
der; a fashionable woman builds o kind
OF a platform out of her. back hair and
hangs her bonnet on the rear end of it,
and the real stylish, model hired girl
carries pole over her shoulder with the
hat slung to the end of it.
A fatherless boy was scalping corn
with razor one Sunday morning, when
mis- mother caught him by the hair,
yanked him from the chair, and electri-
lied him by the startling remark: "W h at
do you s'pose your father In heaven I'll
think to look down aud see his own son
a hackin' corns with razorW
An intelligent Burlington hunting dog
that had rather busy time last season.