davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-05-25
Catching q Drove Of TurEors.

Friend Jerry is a good-natpred. civi
fellow, who attends to his business ana
provides well for his family. but has one
little failing, il this, that when he goes Il
bis home ii the suburbs at night be Il
usually more Or less under the influence
Of eontraband fluids. One nigh, a little
after dark, he started for home with a nice
turkey, safely done up il strong wrapping
paper, under his arm. Jerry found the
road from the station TO his cottage, some
half mile distant, uncommonly rough that
nigh. He several times stumbled and
fell over all sorts Of distractions IN the
path. Each time he fell he dropped his
turkey, but eontriFed to pick il Up again.
On entering his house, be steadied himself
as well as be was able, and said. to his wife,
Here, wife, I've got 'leyen turkeys for
YOU 'sEleVen turkeys, Jerry What
lyon mean Z There's only one. There
must be ,leven turkeys, wife, for i fell
loWn leyen times, and every time I found
turkey. There aasst be 1eren turkeYs.a
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-05-25

eed there. Senator Hoar, of Massacba
sets, said, in his dry Yankee way, to the
Secretary Of the Navy who sat opposite to
him, "WelI, Mr, Thompson, will you please
tell us if that is the correct position for the
American flag to occupy on a ship.
Every body awaited the reply, for it is
well known that the new Secretary is no
sailor, and they thought he was cornered.
But he took advantage of the Cabinet
custom, and replied, in dignifed manner,
"Ahem | viii refer you, sir, to the At
torney-General p
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-05-25
TIE Wisdom OF Solomon.

One day, just after King Solomon had
written a column Of solid nonparell wise
and moral proverbs, he took his eldest
son BY the elbow, led him down the back
stairs of the palace, through the back yard
past the woodshed, out into the alley, back
ed him up behind Ahitophel's woodpile,
looked warily around to see that no one
was listening, and whispered into the
young mans ear: my son, little Office
in a spread-eagle life insurance company
is better than cartload Of preferred stock
his chin, shut one eye, ana gazed at his
in silence. Three years after
ward, when the Great Hebraie CONSOLIDATE
ed Stormy Jordan Life Assurance Com
pany, Of which the intelligent young
prince was president, went into bankrup-
toy, the young man was able to let his
father, who was little short at the time,
nave 275,000 sbekels for ninety days on
1is simple note Of hand.-Bw5ington
HaWkeye
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-05-25
Fishing For Compliments.

Edward Everett was once travelling in
Essex County, Massachusetts, before the
days of railroads. He was travelling in a
crowded stage, which seemed too full for
even the traditional "oue more, when &
schoolgirl came out ola house and wished
to getia. They made room for her, Mr..
Everett offering his knee for ber to sit
upon. She had sat some time upon that
primitive seat, when Mr.. Everett at last
thought she might like to know upon whose
distinguished knee she had had the honor
Of sitting He said, perhaps you would
like to know upon whose knee you are
sitting ?" She said she should. He said;
My name is Edward Everett. "Du tell p
she replied +; "be you sailor,man ?" he
said that was the last time he undertook
to get a reputation.
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-05-25
Poetry.
LOVES sLUBTBER.

Love in a lethargy once slept
A week without awaking;
And day and night his mother wept
As If her heart were breaking.
The Graecs pinched the boy in vain
lie never felt their singing;
They sang to him Paphian strain:
He slept through ell their singing.
To JoYe at length the goddess scared,
Most miSerably crying,
90, save my son, Heavens mighty Lord
The God Of Love is dying!"
"To Earth, said Jove, once mora repair.
And cease your cries and weeping;
A friendly lecch will meet you there,
Who'll cure Loves over-sleeping.
Venus few back the boy was free,
For dove, on special mission,
Had sent him green-eyed Jealousy,
Juno's own state physician.
The cure, much worse than the disease.
Olympus shook with laughter;
For Love was never at his ease,
And never slumbered after.
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-05-25
The In ises.ttEsrhahle gassengel..

A train boy oman Illinois road found a
rather tough customer in an old man Of
composed mien, who received all shots as
if he were ballet-proof. The boy lombard
ed him with papers and pamphlets, and
candies and hound hooks, and nuts and
fruits Of one kiud and another. But it was
no good. Had the elderly party been lined
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-05-25
Selected Story.


"IOu may talk about your ghosts and
bobgoLGns," said Quarles, "but when |
want to make he hair stand straight up
On my head, I have only to think of q
night my own experience some five
years ago"
"A story from Quarles /" shouted seve-
raj of the boys, in chorus.
"Bat mind you," continued Tom Joues,
I'VE want no fooling around here. Ifyou
telIus story, it must be a true one, or
we'll take you out and souse you in the
pond. No sells tonight, mind you"
Quarles declared that he intended to
tell them of a genuine, exciting episode
in his own experience.
II know you will be interested, /" he con-
&nued. "Somehow there is in the very
nature of man longing after that which
makes his blood run cold in the veins. IF
some horrible accident or murder takes
place in a community, witt. what III sad
y aqtig1J dU tl4e man, women ana Gil
LET heir thoughts dwell upon the hornd
details.
uMy father, as you know, was trading
man, and was always in for every specu-
A latiou that promised handsome returns and
j bpt little risk. Well, one time it happened
A that he was taken suddenly i'll, -
levoved upon me to carry or. ..l .i.s Sps -
cuiation in which he was -" ens~7
4 is final termination inns olu, ll"3
say. with fair -'ccess and one tine day !
e..,1 e4s' I'', ,.lsolf prepared To retorn home
w.t. my pockets fall of money
"When a countryman finds himself in
4 large city, with all his business transacted
4 in a manner very satisfactory to himself,
he is aptto feel like enjoying himself for
a time, before returning home to the
ouietudc of his own town or village, and
50 I resolved to see the sights.
Toward night Ibegan to feel pretty
tired and hungry, ard may say thirsty
too. I ate a mince pie at an eating house
LLI,rra SauC9rp. ana Qraui
Six inches OF oolosn" 9 a,os sas' Good for me.
more %n,SNs9 , .,.,,as .,,, not 6acanse Of an
\ menI'0n 'Nooo 'Hl,9I' 3I,,-, - bara - nv story
particular 0e@il"S .-.o' - ar mind to b
oD' 0''0p9o 80 gs..s,oota3 v;+b " You 4
,''e eP"t"D'5 .t.,;.d as' ro+ains some yer
,,Do" .'-1,l.u45 '',,' +l;nrs +bat seem connecte
@"'1, VI ','1 H,aaa G z,r;+l, some enocb in OF
! ny N'"0 81 P.'eo s.lar limos df more in
'''1'' "I' .s4 40 e ia memory forever
P',',r.. ,9' .+;,, ~, a rsrv substantial lune
. ...L, Letoi fselipv pretty well.
/ WV .1y5.+,n ve have p said the barkeepc
n u,n ..+aa. ~ +,,;no said j, only ma
..,l1 ~ '''
4 uy uyT,. 49,, es1,o,,, ,,a,,a mel don't kne
..r44l,a+ J n,as bot and tasted que
4 Wlsr p T.,:l r', G.. t,,a drink whatever
II s,1t .rattr wen The fact Il
49,, Y~. ~. ,.,1.;,,y o,stoners were ca.
s,..;7a ss,' .1.,,ans j M did not distu
r55, ,G .a,,.,;r5;t,, nraat deal. The thou,
1.. 3a.-,,I,, 7 ,,;abt be robbed did p
n-l - III had no abidi
II >S"5H a. '-A,} .
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-05-25
VOL. II.

ly teach him that his safety depended on
keeping awake. So it was with me. L eAs
soon in doze and was presently aroused
by my little brother Tommy, who opened
the door and came stealthily into the
room.
Strange t. say, I was not surprised to
see Tommy, though in all reason he ought
to have been at home hundred miles
away.
"Did you know said he, that they are
digging your grave down III the cellar p
"EWhy do you think SO q l asked.
Because, replied Tommy, I heard
them digging as I came up. I tell you,
he continued, I'VE had better get out of
this
II was out of bed in an instant, and
proceeded to barricade the door. piled
chairs, table, and, in fact, every thing
available against it, until the barricade
was almost as high as the door itself
7 guess that will keep them out
said, at last, viewing the pile with consider
able satisfaction.
Strange to say, lay down upon the
bed, and was soon fast asleep again. I
dreamed all kinds of horrible dreams. I
dreamed dreams, and then dreamed Of
telling them, as though awake. I thought
! was at home, and told how Tommy gave
me warning, and how bafled my would
be murderers bypillng furniture against
the door.
While in the midst Of my dreams was
aroused with start as though feeling
some danger near. Listening. I heard
some one slowly ascending the stairs with
a steady tramp. Tramp, tramp, the steps
came nearer as with a measured, heavy
tread Finally the steps stopped at my
door, and heard some one trying 10 get
in. Looking toward the door, I saw with
horror that it was opening, and soon
grnning face appeared in view I tried
10 arouse myself but it seemed that dull
stupor had taken hold of me. seized nv
revolver, and aimed it at the grinning
lace. Horror Of horrors, it would not 90
otf! This was too much. Ny trusted :
revolver, that lad never failed before. )
seemed to have deserted me in my time Of
need
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-05-25
a Hard Grind.

A hand-organ man was mtkin9s way
10 Adams Avenue, yesteday, ,fhen :
boy met him, and asked
HHow many tunes do yoplaR
Sixteen shunes-nice, -eethunes,
replied the man.
INV father is fond Of mp 1T be is a
little deaf, continued the.
20, dat make no defe-I make a
him hear"
The boy led the way feet to where
4 nlaster bust Of Sir IsNewton had
been arranged in ba1ow to look
like living man, and dian spit on
lis hand and began ocrank, He
ground ont all the tunsotation, and
then began at the bottonfround back
t ~ the scale till he got aunes in the
$ qarret Of the box again..na IN the
: ,av-window didn't moyir, and the
e Italian drew long breaasighed
q 4Play noar nuseek him hear
: soon"
Q He ran out eight tunt then threw
some gravel at the Y The bust
e didn't even work its earsfthe Italian
q leaned the organ on thend loudly
i e. 10 | vho shah dinka snnosr
"a when lam far ava.
le The seven other tunarattled Of
IL II lively pace, while coughed,
10 wbistled, kicked On tBend eneou
IL ragged ! dog-ight, il attraet The
nd deaf man S attention..
IL .sing louder -plasI" called
,ok the boy from tie nsxtaer.
ion The grinder seeureeor bis feet,
III. nnbuttoned lis vest, " he roar
/ IN ed brought out the the score.
,yer He kept his eyes on AZ gave ~
heed to the crowd, afa-box vas
will smoking hot when hetlae grind
musie,round, he
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-05-25
Nautical.

AIT dinerparty By Secretary Sherman
to the members of the Cabinet, the table
was graeed bya three-masted ship eompo.
sed Of flowers. On the mainmast was 4
small United States flag which Secretary
Sherman said his little daughter had pla-
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-05-25

leapea over the fence and got a square
look at his victim. His quiet grin faded
into look Of woe ana misery and murder,
and getting his eyes on the boy with the
red necktie he ran him four blocks and
under carpenter shop before till, small
voice whispered that he had better hold
0r
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-05-25
BoSsETs.-A stupid fellow, who never

BoSsETs.-A stupid fellow, who never
notices the fashions, tries to be smart, and
says, The sweetest thing. in boanets is
the ladies twoIips.n Q, ignorance not
to know that in the present style of wear
ing the bonnetit is farther away from the
lady's lips than it IS from her feet. WHY,
a quiet, reserved, timid woman wears her
hat away ait, Ike mak-shift ruader; a
woman builds kind Of plat
form out other back hair and hangs her
bonnet on the rear end Of it.; and the real,
stylish, model hired girl carries q pole over
her shoulder with the bonnet slung 70 tie
md Of it.
4 Frenehnan said of Shakespeare, Ven
on ind any King You no understan. it is
llWays somezing fine. 7
The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-05-25

ssBgnlar it ir that droWsan ness MAli
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1877-02-17
We'll Answered.

The other day, an ex.Captain Of the
Metropolitan Police, now Captain OF
the Packard police, whom Judge Whit
aker, Of the Superior Criminal Court.
knew long before the statD quo, met
him.
The ex.Captain. ia the most serious
manner u man can assume when he
knows he is joking, applied to Judge
Whitaker for instructions.
He said, In substance. that he had, In
moving about the streets, seen q num-
Der Of men armed with clubs, wearing
q badge labeled metropolitan Police !"
that be learned that these men had not
only assumed" the name Of Metro
politan Police" but were also exercising
the functions, and had arrested persons.
He was On officer OF the Metropolitan
Police; he objected to these men acting
as such, and concluded by asking,
"Now, what proceedings shall ! take?"
+" WE'LL" answered Judge Whitaker,
'you had better appeal to Judge shaw.'s
court for an Injunction to restrain
them "
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1877-02-17
THs3 COURTS.

ACQUITTED

Acquitted
Stahbing with intent to commit murs
der Robert 70, Metz 20, charged with
stAbbine, on November 4, 1875, Green
Baby, OH Bttohhe, near Poydras strsHts
PLEAD GUILTY..
Shooting at, ste.==Is9bert Batterfisid.
who was charged with shooting Chhss
Jaeger In the PhBaif Restaurant, plead
guilty to simple assault.
sEHTEN6Eb.
Assaut-Robeft Buttstflsld, $40 or
twenty days III the Parish Prison.
HABEAs CORPUS.
State eK rel. John Curtis VS., James -.
Houston, Criminal Sheriff. Alex. Dal4
shsimsr, ESD. OF counsel for rslatoT.
alleges that relator Ia held in jail on d
com iaitment Of Judge Kleinpetsr on
default Of $500 bail until examination
on the tst March, on the charge oil
trusting bis hand into the pocket OF
ono WIN. Green, on the evening Of Feb
ruafy ID. vt the corner OF BIT. Charles
aud Canal streets. aud taking away
therefrom gold watch and eheia vafs
usd at $l26," La violation OF section Gil
of the Revised Statutes.
Helator claims that said bail Ia ex4
eessiVs aud In violation OF the State
constitution. and asks for felisf. Tho
court held that tho bail Is excessive and
that section Bl1 refers only TO an stat@
tempt ut robbery" and NOT 10 ths Of
fence charged on the commitment. It
IL also the general rule 30 give hear
Ing within eight days after arrest.
For the above reasons the writ was
made absolute and the prisoner dis
charged.
The following is Judge Whftakerss
charge to the Grand Jury relative 10 tho
Packard shooting afffhys
Gentlemen OF the Grand Jtiry44It Ii d
notorious fact that yesterday d profni-
nent citizen has been shot at with intent
TO murder him, nt the gt. Louis Hotel.
and also that Tho efforts of the police
authorities TO Investigate ths msttsr
had been frustrated.
These matters need. In my opinion.
the attention OF tho Grand Jury.
The protection OF the laws should be
accorded TO everyone, and the officers
OF the law be permitted to insure that
protection.
Ia your Investigation Of this matter
tho court will accord you every assist
anee In it's power, Nhile st the same
time IL would taks no hasty action cal
e!ilated 70 further e2Inpl.i,eate the con
dition Of affairs. ordinarily referred TO
as the status quo.
I call your attention 10 the Revised
Statutes Of the State OF Louisiana, sees
ton 79l, relative to the crime OF shoot
ing with intent to commit murder, aud
also to section ss5, which relates 10 re-
sistanGe TO officer serving d warrant.
and provides that, whoever shall resist
or oppose any police officer la execus
ting warrant for the arrest Of any
person, shall be imprisoned or fined.
not exceeding SIX months, or 5000.
The grand jury then withdrew.
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1877-02-17

THERE taOEs. y
tselns the Last words Ut Suicide ss he
I,eapea Ints he aissf.

tselas the Iast Words Ut Suicide ss he
Ieapea Inss he Aivss.
AT 10 o'clock last night. d gentleman,
neatly dressed, about thiftvstivs years
of age, end below the medium
height, boarded the Cahal street ferry
boat, and when the boat was In the
middle Of the stream walled TO the
bow, and. with the remark there goes"
JUMPED overheard,
The boat was Immediately stopped
and every effort was made 10 save the
drowning man, but he refused oil
assistance, threw UP his hands,
And suNH 10 RISE no MORE
Near by where the unfortunate man
had just few moments before stood
WAS found handkerchief, which con.
tanned several steamboat receipts also
number Of due bills on w. q. Wilmet
Il Co., Baton Rouge. The handkerchief
also contained d card and on one side
WAS written lii pencil, "G. g. Evans.
No. 1bb Canal street," and on the other
was flames dethen, notary public, 30
Carohdelet street,"
The pilot Of the boat, Mr.. Thomas,
states that the deceased boarded the
boat at the ferry wharf and appeared
to be considerably under the influence
OF liquor. that hs moved 10 the bow
Of the boat. and with the remark.
"Hefe goes" leapsa Into the river.
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1877-02-17
beautiful seeaery III The aaHeon.
Hew TO Mako Ia Lac temeteg.
tPitkabnrs Dianatsb. I

ANY housekeeper who desires to test
tho purity OF the Tactical fluid furnished
daily by the milkman can provide her,
self with an impromptu and. to all pur-
pose, on efficient lactometer in this
easy way: Procure glass bulb and
stem, both hollow; load 1t with quick
silver, sand, or even bird.shot,
untif the instrument will float up.
right in milk known to be pure.
Mark on the stem the point to which IL
sinks-the surtace-point. Remove it
from the milk and float it in pure water,
marking the surface point as before,
which will be considerably higher on the
steam than the other mark. Now take
a narrow slip Of paper, capable Of
being rolled lengthwlse, and insert it In
the stem OF the instrument so that the
figures on it will be- visible through
the glass. Lay offon this--in the direc-
ton Of Its length-a space equal to the
distance between the two surface points,
numbering the first point 0 and the
other 100. Subdivide this space into
ten or twenty proportional spaces cor
respondingly numbered; roll the
slip and insert in it the stem
until the 0 Is at the surface
point OF the milk, the 100 at
that OF the water. Your lactometer Is
now complete. Float 1t In your milk
can evdfy morning, and the depth to
which 1t sinks will register the per cent
age of dishonest water. Ii any, the milk
contains. Suppose, for example, the
instrument sinks till the surface line
CUTS Che figure fifteen. The milk con-
MUM 6ftsen per cent Ok added NAter.
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1877-02-17
An Electro Magnetic Plant.

A plant. supposed to be new, has, been
found In Nicaragua, which. II what is
said OF 1t is true, is q great vegetable Gu
riosity. It has been named "Phytolacca
Electrical" It Ia said to possess very
pronounced electro magnatic proper.
Ties. The hand ID sensibly benumbed
upon touching the shrub, and the mag.
netic influence Is felt al q distance Of
seven or eight feet: The magnetic needle
Is sensibly perturbated, becoming more
of the shrub, when the disturbance 10
transformed into very rapid gyratory
movement. The intensity OF the phe-
nomenon varies with the hours Of the
day, and at night it is hardly percepti-
bic. Il attains It's maximum about 2 p.
M. In stormy weather the energy OF the
action Is augmented. No insects or
birds have been seen on the shrub.
The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1877-02-17

The aate OF the Percentage that one l..
EtFetllns 5aeuntins Received.
Ffapstan Tinpu

one of the most interesting discover.
lea III recent years AZ pompeii was made
Tia 1875. when wooden chest was
brought to light, containing tho basis
meas lee etptB OF one il. CBeiliua Jueuha
dus. The chest efumbled 10 duet on
exposure 60 the air, but tho tablets on
which the taeeintH were written have at
length proved TO be legible In many In
stances, aud the feault. OF a careful
atuay ot these tablets by Mommsen
and others haa been TO clear up Heva
efal points In what waa among the
Romano n matter OF great CON
sequence, viz the petition OF the mid.
dleman In affairs of business. There
was not among the Romans the same
extensive syetem OF shops as with US,
supplying every posnible article Of ne
cesaity or luxury, and for this reason
there areHe innumerable occasions Of
private persons desiring 10. dispose OF
this or that article, az for instance, u
surplus of agricultural produce, old
carta. nlowa, or even old and invalid
slaves. az Cato recommends the land
owner TO do. The tablets In question
are dated, according TO custom, by CIV
the names of the oonsuls for tho year.
The greater part Of the dates fall be-
tween "A. ID, I'D 90. A few are as early aa
Is and az, Since there In NO more recent
date than ca, II becomes highly proba.
bile that the tablets OF Jueundug had
been overwhelmed In the earlier erup.
tion of Neauvius, The majority OF the
tablets are triptyehs, and are written
partly with letters on wax, spread on
the tablet. and partly Ia ink on the bare
wood. Among them there 10 only one
which gives the amount of commission
which he received, and that proves TO
be two per cent, which liz known from
other sources TO have been the general
rate. Usually no merely says "minus
the commission, The person on whom
this eSpense fell was the buyer.