The Republican journal., 1877-06-07
How Chicago Girl Fixed Him.

"Will YOU do something to oblige me-"
shyly asked a beautiful young woman Of
a timid gentleman whose acquaintance
she had Just made at a small social gather
ing on West Adams street the other eve
ming. 'Anything that | can in honor,
miss, he replied, blushing. "Well, said
she, ''come into the back parlor, where
it is dark, and sit on the sofa with me,
and let me rest my head on your shoul-
der, and you pretend to whisper in my
ear-only don't blow, because that tickles
and can't laugh, for this new dress is
very tlght-and when anybody looks you
can draw your arm away forgot to say
WANTED you to put it round my waist
and I'll pretend to bush.' but. my
gracious, honored miss" stammered the
young man, after hastily dividing into
1877 and finding that it wasn't leap year;
''my goodness, before all these people
and am already engaged and your
father must Weigh-' Hush, know
what I'm up to- replied the artless girl.
Il am engaged, too, to that young man
talking to the WaXen-taced thing with
somebody else's hair over there. want
to stir him up-to bring him down to
that's all The young man said that a
load had been lifted from his bosom, and
aided her to the best Of his ability, so We'll,
indeed, that in thec-quarters of an hour
the true betrothed rot his girl into the
library, demanded an explanation of her
shameless conduct, was softened by her
tears, called himself a brute, asked if she
could ever forgive him, and promised to
behave better i'll future. And how did
the girl reward the young man who had
helped her to this happiness Why, she
never said word to him all the evening,
in fact, never mentioned him except to say
to her reconciled lover, "AlonZo, cOud
you have been so stupid as to think could
see anything to admire in such a mutton
headed clam as that" y, woman, in our
hours of ease.
How "Buffalo BiI' Married Couple.
After serving for years on the frontier,
Cody settled at Fort Mcpherson, Neb.,
and in 1872 was elected Justice OF the
peace and the following year was chosen
amember of the legislature. A good story
is told of how he performed the ceremony
of marriage while he was justice of the
peace. 1T was his first attempt, and the
applicants We're Of the true Western type.
They called upon Cody i'll the log cabin
where he had his justice office. Bill had
book of forms, which he took down and
studied attentively to get some idea of
how he should tie the knot. But though
there were forms for nearly every tran
saction of life, he failed to find what he
Was looking for, and finally slammed the
book down and observed to the parties:
"Nou two fcllers Join hands :" and the
''two tellers" did SO. Then he said to the
groom, Are you willing to take this wo-
man to be your lawful welded wife, to
love her, honor her and obey her ?" "You
bet your butes,' was the response of the
bashful hair LITTER "And you, miss, are
you willing to take this here man to be
your welded husband, to love him, honor
him, and support him ?" She giggled,
and nodded in the affirmative; but this
didn't suit Bill, who said: 'ESee here,
miss, we've got to have this thing on the
dead square, and we can't marry folks by
halves in this country. We are bound to
go the whole hog. If you want this here
man for a husband you must speak out
and say SO, as though you meant it sure
I'll ask you again. Will you take this
here man to be your lawful welded hus-
band, to love him, honor him, and sup
port him ?" This time the lady responded
bravely, eyes, sir will" This satisfied
his honor, and he remarked: "That set
ties it. Now look here, you are man and
wife, and whoever Bill Cody and God AL
mighty have joined together let no man
Dut aSlIndcrn HAnd now y addaI Ri1I
'let's take another sip of tarantula juice,
and drink to the happiness of the happy
couple" which everybody, with true west
ern unanlmlty, proceeded to do. Lincoln
(Neb.) letter to Chicago Times.
The gunboat Osspee which recently made a
tour of harbors of the Island of Cuba found that
the Spanish officers were exceedingly formal and
coldly polite to the American flag at every port :
that Cienfuegos, Santiago, Nuevitas and other
smaller ports at the eastern end of the Island are
all so closely beeagued in land by insurgents that
only the presence of large number of Spanish
gunboats at each place prevents them from falling
into the hands of the Cubans