The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1877-12-18
How Wiggles Lost His Bride.

A S TWO men were talking carelessly
n in a public room, when in answer
to a remark one had made, young man
who had not previously joined in their
conversations suddenly exclaimed
g Married did you say ~
go, yes" said one, " she is to be mar
ried tomorrow night, and it will be the
most excellent combination of wealth
and beauty ever seen in this part of the
world"
But Wiggles Is such numbskull."
But Wiggles is wealthy, and what
more ought a young girl like Irene NAL
travers to desire ~
BY this time the young man had passed
out. One of the speakers touched the
other.
DO you know that young man 7"
No, indeed, not who is hep"
"That is young Ned Afford"
The dickens !"
You know he has been in love with
Irene for this ever so long. He comes
up from New York every quarter to see
her. wonder how he'll take this ?"
"Why did her father turn the girl
over to Wiggles if she was engaged ?"
ooh, he wouldn't give fig for en-
gagements. He's surly, crusty old fell
low, and don't understand anybody's
wishes but his own" AS the men spoke
they went out.
Mr.. Wiggles, the bridegroom, lived in
a little town connected by railroad with
Bainsford, and not more than fifty
miles away. Early on the appointed
morning he might have been seen
vending his way to the railway station
AS he approached an engine driver came
up.
Bound to Bainsford, sir ?'
Yes, SIR
All, then, you're the gentleman.
There's no passenger train to-day, sir
won't run till midnight, sir. The direc-
tor of this road told me, sir, to be sure
and get a locomotive ready for you to
take you there"
Why isn't there a car 20 said Wig
giles, as the man pointed to the putting
and snorting machine.
Please sir, no sir, there are no cars,
only this locomotive"
Humph ~ exclaimed Wiggles, SOL
emnly, " 1 suppose must 60"
Then the man put his carpetbag in got
in himself, touched crank, and with
puff and snort away went the engine.
Mr.. Wiggles at first felt q little fur
ried, but after few moments he grew
accustomed to the novelty of his situa-
ton, and amused himself by watching
the scenery. AS he looked at the land
scape and noticed the telegraph posts
one after the other flashing past, the
strange thought occurred to his mind
that he was travelling at most fearful
ly rapid pace. He therefore, touched the
engineers arm, and prepared to speak.
What was Wiggles surprise at seeing
the engineer turn and make hideous
grimace. He laughed in a sickly man
ner.
Friend" he cried, "ain't we going
rather fast ?'
The friend rolled up his eyes till only
the whites were visible. After this he
turned the lids over so that hideous
red margin appeared over the whites.
"Good Lord ~ cried Wiggles, "the
man is crazy!"
Suddenly the man commenced dane
ing violently. Then he sprang on the
back of the engine, and standing on his
head he put his heels against the funnel
and stared at Wiggles. After this he
came back.
" Wen soon be there,'' he said
Where 7" gasped Wiggles.
New York.
They've got an air line from there
to Raunsbury. 1t goes through the air.
We go thump against the depot, and we
vanish. Last time went to Rauns
bury 1 went straight on the regular
track this time I'm going to try the
air line. Hey?"
He poked Wiggles in the ribs. Wig
giles was so paralyzed by fear that he
could not utter word.
" Perhaps, though, we had better not
wait till we get into the depot. Perhaps
we had better run into the next train,
or go off the track now. So" Suiting
the action to the word, the man gave
tremendous pull at the crank.
Wiggles did not wait for the catastro-
phe. He tainted.