Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1877-09-22
YOUNG men go in on Sunday.evenings


YOUNG men 60 in on Sunday.evenings
and look at Mas satellites.
"THE tune that the old COW died ON
must have been written in beefHat.
J "GENTLEMEY, introduce YOU to nv
friend, who isn't as stupid as he appears
to be. Introduced friend, with yiyaci.
ty-"Ihat's precisely the difference be-
tween my friend and myself"
WHEN a young womon makes M her
mind that a hen shall not sit, and the
hen makes up her raind that she will,
the irresistible meets the immovable, and
every law of nature is broken or per.
verted.
IT makes a boys heart sick as the
winters wood begins TO loom upin steadi-
ly-grOwing piles,in the back yard and he
sees his mother making preparations for
organizing him into "a working. mans
party. "-Hqvkeye.
Poor people will be gratifed to learn
that quails are liable to cause inGamma-
tion Of the bowels to those who eat them.
Toast on which quails have stood should
not be left where children can get hold
of it,--DanJury New8.
THE man who thought to drive this
Office to the wall by stealing the shears,
is respectfully informed that-ah, um-m;
by gracious, what is he respectfully in
formed, anyhow? Without those shears
we feel sort OF dazed like. on CHy Der
rick.
A MEMBER of an American club OBJ.
jected to the publication of the list of
the meeting nights OF the club, "be.
cause" he said, 4" if it's published, we
married men will have to account for the
off nights" The motion to publish was
lost
In the Mount Auburn cemetery, Boz
ton, is lot containing five stones, one
at each corner and one in the center.
The latter is inscribed; "Our Hus-
band, " and the Others respectfully bear
"My | Wife Ny II Wife, "My III
Wife, " My " Wife"
THE gala days at Savannah, Ga, are
on the occasion of the review of the y.
5. troops There are at present three
soldiers there, by which the city is gar.
risoned, and when they dress up and
come out for a show a thrill of excite.
ment runs through the city.
ACCORDING to the most recent statis-
tics, the inhabitantson the earth number
! ,423, ,9l7 900, or twenty-eight persons to
every square mile Of surface. London is
the most densely packed spot Of pOpula-
ton, containing 3,4S9, ,42S souls, more
than some continental kingdoms.
HERE isa conundrum which we do not
remember to have seen in print: Why
is a pig looking out of second.story
window like the moon? Because he
looks round. If anybody triumphantly
retorts that the moon does not look
round, you can reply that the pig dosen't
either.
UNTIL lately it was not uncommon for
the excited'and delighted Cubansto throw
doubloons in place oftlowers to favorite
actress or danseuse, upon the stage.
Miss Adelaide Phillips was thus greeted
at the lacOn theatre on certain occa-
sion so We're Lola Montes and Jennie
Lind.
A CLERGYMAN preaching sermon on
death, concluded with the following OBJ
seryation; But even death, my breth-
rem, 50 well deserved by mankind for
their sins, the wisdom of Providence has,
in its paternal kindness, put at the end
of our existence for only think what
life would be worth ii death were at the
beginning"
IT is thought that Brigham Young
ought to have recovered from his attack
of cholera morbus, but when it came to
fighting with twenty.seyen women, each
one with different kind of mustard
plaster, for her dear husband, and a new
kind of herb tea it was too much for
him. Every woman laid her plaster
where there was room, and the prophet
went down to his grave like sandwich.
---HawEeye.
A JUVENILE test of prayer: Not long
ago two little girls in the west filled their
shoes at night with corn, and then prayed
that God would turn their corn into
money. The next morning, when they
looked into the matter, their shoes were
shoes and their corn was corn. At this
failure their faith was shaken, or rather,
as one of them expressed their feelings.
''We were rather spunky when we found
the corn Just as we left it, and no
money.
THIS is the scientific way: " fla man
falls asleep in the sitting posture with
his mouth open, his jaw drops the
tongue not being in contact with the
hard palate, the suctorial space is obit-
Grated the soft palate no longer adheres
TO the roof of the tongue; and, if respir-
alton can be clrried on through the
mouth, the muscular curtain begins to
vibrate." And this is the popular term;
If man doesn't keep his mouth shut
when asleep, he will snore,"
In the North Carolina supreme court,
recently, Col. Edwards, of Granville,
who is distinguished for his courtesy,
in the course Of his argument made quo
tations from an opinion delivered by the
chief Justice, saving, the learned Judge
in that case said, etc. Thereupon the
chief justice, who puts little value on
compliments, requested him to drop
the learned Judge" "What shall call
him. NAV it please your honor?" asked
Col. Edwards. Call him the Judge"
said the chief Justice. 1t was but
moment before another quotation was
needed thereupon Col. Edwards, with
his politest bow and blandest smile
said: "The judge in that case held,
etc. | shall not may it please your
houors, a second time commit the error
of calling him the learned judge"