The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1877-05-24
WIT AND HUMOR.

WE don't want to discourage Chicago.
but the grisly fact that the English police
are busy chasing backslidden Moody and
Sankey converts stands out as unRand-
some as knot on dead pine tree.
IT is curious fact that an 8-year-old
boy can't sit for five minutes on a cane
seat chair without getting the backache,
but he will walk right out and sit on the
top Of a hitching- post for half an hour
and feel like peaches over it.
GIDEON WE11Es never had any bows.
and so when neighbours son asks the
old man to hold the tongue of cart be-
tween his legs while the boy kicks in the
end board, the old man growls about
the worlds awful impudence.
This is expected to prove good year
for comets, three having already been
discovered. The comet is one of the
most intensely interesting subjects which
can command the attention of young
people walking in the parks at night.
JUDY-Nice uncle Gmproving the
occasion)-"You see, my dear, you don't
generally call boys pretty but if they
are very, very good indeed they may
grow up handsome. Olive Branch
"Oh, uncle why didn't you be good
boy?"
FAREWELL the sympathetic oyster,
which will soon no more assimilate him
self with humanity, except at the sea-
side, but in his place comes the gutta-
percha clam, which wades through free
I1171o1 L. i
or Kate Claxton.
AN Irishman, being a little fuddled,
was asked what was his religious belief.
" Is it me belafe ye'd be asking about ?"
said he. "It's the same as the Wildly
Brady. I owe her II shillings for whisky,
and she behaves I'll never pay her and
faith that's my belafe, too"
A KIND-HEARTED and well-meaning
young lady, belonging to a well-to-do
family, who spent whole week making
flannel shirts for the deserving poor, is
said to be innocently responsible for the
semi-insanity of recipients of the gar
ments, who found they would exactly fit
man with arms growing out of his
hips.
SOME scientific writer asserts that even
shellfsh are possessed of an organism as
delicate and sensitive in proportion to
their sphere of action as that of man
himself If this, indeed, be true, it must
be very humiliating to the noble-souled
shrimp to see his brethren served up on
the street stands at the low price OF 60
cents per quart.
AND now the woman who has Just
moved in leans over the fence and tells
her neighbor that she never saw such
dirty house as this one, totally obhvious
of the fact that the new neighbor is the
absent tenants sister. The consequence
is the dissemination of much active
feeling. Press.
AN exchange says that men who never
do wrong seldom do anything. The
editor probably never saw an eminent
citizen climbing up a lamp-post at 2 a.
M, under the impression that he was
an astronomer, and he was on the point
of deciding the great question whether
the sun is really IS, 100000 miles away.
-N0raUicb Bulletin.
ON SHEDDING MY FLANNELs
We have parted, but we'll I remember
When first to my bosom you came,
For the dolorous chls of November
Had made me rheumatic and lame.
Where the moth and the rust cannot harm you,
I fold you away on the shelf,
And with spices and gums l embal1n you
The limp, hfeless shape of myself.
Like their odors, to me unforgetfu
Will faint, subtle memories cling
AS shudder and shiver regretful
In the pitiless east winds of spring.
NOTHING breaks down mans faith in
human nature and the merciful dispense
ton of things, says the Burlington
HoaOk-Eye, SO much as to fit up the
spare room just beautifully, with new
bed, Eastlake paper, Brussels carpet,
j L. i IL