Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1877-04-26
UNCLE ZEKE'S CONSCIENCE.

| UNCAG AEA6'0 CVN0C1CNCEs
Some years ago there moved to the
neighborhood Of Uncle Zekc's cabin q
gentleman from New York, whose identi-
ty may he disguised under the name of
Smith. The newcomer engaged vigor-
ously in farming, and by liberal employ.
ment and prompt payment soon gained
the good will of the colored men around
him. Uncle Zcke, in particular, was new
or weary Of chanting his praises, and many
bushol Of oysters did Ezekiel convert
into money at Bellevue, as Smiths estate
was called. But all the good will of his
humble neighbors did not suffice to pro-
tect Mr.. Smith from offerings. Shoats
would disappear during the night, geese
and turkeys would take wings for parts
unknown, and in particular the corn-crib
would show by unmistakable signs that
its sanctity had been violated. To the
story Of these various losses would Uncle
Zeke incline q sympathetic ear, and his
"Well, now, who ever hear de like o. data
clar to goodness, desc yer boys is gittin'
wusser and wusser," evidenced his detest-
alton of the crime and his contempt for
the offender.
Smiths patience was at last exhausted,
and he determined upon vigorous meas
ures for the protection Of his property.
His first experiment was to place large
spring rat-trap, artistically concealed in a
heap Of shelled corn, close by the cathode
in the corn-crib, expecting that the unwa-
ry thief, plunging his hand recklessly
through the hole in the heap, would be
caught and held till some one came to set
him free. But 10! next morning the trap
was sprung, and the heap of corn dimin-
ished, but the thief had vanished and left
no trace behind.
At last good-sized box arrived from
New York, and the next day the local car
penter was ordered to fix two brass han
dies to the corn-crib, one of them to be
put alongside the door for convenience, as
Mr.. Smith publicly explained, of steady
ing ones self while turning the other.
The second handle had latch attached
to it by which the door was secured on
the inside, and was set in such position
that any one turning it must hold on by
the other knob to prevent being thrown
backward by the opening door. Both
handles were profusely decorated with
glass, and elected much admiration from
| the hands, who submitted them to criti-
cal examination. The carpenters work
being finished, Smith, in presence of all
his employees, solemnly repeated in front
of the corn-crib the first two lines of the
second book of Virgil's 4Eneid, and an
nounced that his corn was thenceforward
secure. A box, stated to contain seeds,
was that afternoon deposited in the crib,
and during the early part of the ensuing
night the proprietor Of Bellevue secretly
busted himself with a coil of insulated
wire.
Numerous and diverse were the specu-
lations among the darkies. Jim Oakley
lowed Mis- Smith done 'witched dat ar
courthouse. sho huff. Tell you, gcmmen,
you touch dem ERE handles, evil sperrit
carry you way. No such ting's evil sper-
itl How you know dcrc no such ting?
Hush, boy; go an see what de Bible say
bout dem tings."
Pete Lee 'didn't b'lieve in no sperits;
got gun fixed somewhat inside dat house;
turn dc handles an de gun go off: Seen
dem tings afore, up country, when l lived
in Goozleum.''
Another thcorist averred that "while
Mis- Smith sayin' dat ar Scriptcr over 'em
handles, he seen white pigeon come
sailin' roun' an roun', and done light on
de peak O. de courthouse roof. High! tell
you, sar, sumpin' up, sho.''
Uncle Zeke. like the rest, was troubled
in his mind, but, unlike his fellows, he
determined to waste no time in specula-
ton, but to seek his information direct
from headquarters. Prepared with half
bushel of oysters. as an excuse for CONVEX
sation, he sought an interview with Mr..
Smith, and boldly propounded his ques-
tons.
Mis- Smith, what you bin a-doin' to
dat ar crib o. yourn2"
"Why, Uncle Zeke, what do you want
to know for2"
"Oh, muffin, Sar; sorter Gurus like.
Hearn all de boys talkin' bout it-neber
see muffin like that afore."
Well, Uncle Zcke. can't very we'll
explain it to you, but just advise you
don't go near that crib after dark, or
you may see something you won't like"
And Uncle Zeke departed, revolving many
things in his mind.
1t was midnight-the hour when church
yards are said to yawn. not with exhaus-
ton, but returning animation. In front
of the enchanted courthouse stood Broth
er Ezekiel, lengthy pole in his hand,
and capacious meal bag over his shout
der. In silent meditation he stood for
some five minutes, celebrating on the
best plan of attack. The great Newfound-
land watchdog bounded toward him, ev-
identity in rejoicing welcome. Forth |
from his pocket the old man drew
sevory bit Of fried bacon, which the faith
less Bos'en eagerly devorred. The re-
Election ended, the dog lay contentedly on
the ground, and watched the subsequent |
proceedings with the air of totally dis !
interested observer.
"Clar to goodness, now" muttered IN |
Gle Zeke, 1wish't un'stood bout dis |
ting. Can't be no spring trap like las |
time, kase how he gwine to spring froo dc |
DOE Ke!k Done bodder Mis- Smith
sho huff when he find dat ole rat-trap
sprong and muffin cotch. High! can fool
disser chile wild no traps. No, Sar! done
too much for dat"
Uncle Zeke paused, scratched his head
meditatively, and then resumed his solil-
swell, declar', eff disser don't beat
preachin'! Nus he gun in dar. Eff
ain no gun, den dere amt muffin dere-
all fooshness. Anyway, Use gwine for
try him"
Uncle Zeke threw his bag to the ground,
stepped to one side Of the house, and with
his pole struck sharp blow on the brass
knob nearest him. Nothing followed. He
pried against it with his stick, but still
without effect. He went to the other side
Of the house and repeated his expert
ments on the second knob, but still all re-
manned quiet. !. s.s#ss5=
Uncle Zeke drew from his pocket :
skeleton key, mounted the ladder, and in
q trice had opened the paddock that held
the door.
"D.r, nov, JUS 5 I fought. De boss