The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1877-12-08
NUMBER 8.
PASSING SMILES.

IpLENFes is the dead sea that swallows
up all virtues, and is the self-made
sepulcher of a living man.
WISH nations would adopt plan to
settle their disputes without FIRST cutting
one anothers throats.-Franktin.
"FoREeoEs was the word put out at
written spelling exercise recently, and
one litrle boy handed in, ''go, go, 60,
CO."
He who feareth to submit any ques-
ton to free discussion, hath greater
love for his own opinion than for truth.
Bacon.
| ROYAL Europeans apparently get into
their boots wrong end first. A sign in
Belgian town reads: slsidore Tanner
Bootmaker for Crowned Heads"
MrLonous Bryant, though at clghty-iour
| Thy locks with honored years are silvered DER,
| May thy life's volume on its clcsing page
Bear the full glory OF golden agel
ROBES and fur gowns hide all Plate
sin with gold, and the strong lance OF
Justice hurtless breaks arm it in rags, a
piemy's straw doth pierce it.--SheAs-
pedre.
THERE is an old German proverb to
the effect that great war leaves the
country with three armies-an army OF
cripples, an army OF mourners, and an
army of thieves.
WHAT is the difference between a per-
son going to Plymouth church and ono
about to ask lady favor? One is 60
ing to sec Beccher and the other is 60
ing to besecch her.
A YOUNG New Yorker, who is paying
his addresses to a lady-love, stayed so
late few evenings since that the family
were compelled to whitewash the wall
next morning to obliterate his shadow.
MAMMA" You're very naughty
boy, Tommy, and | shall have to buy
whip and give yon good whipping.
Now, will you be good ?" Tommy with
esitation)-"Shall ! be allowed to
keep the whip after, mammaT'
A WISE man hath foibes as well As a
fool. But the difference between them
is that the foiblca Of the one are known
to himself and concealed from the world;
the foibles Of the other are known to tho
world and concealed from himself.
MODERN JULIET.
O II ia carly yeti Stay, Romeoi
soe II is not quite ten--and you would col
/ do remember when there scarce was need
To urge you 30
nurse I wish you'd stop that scroamingl
I'll come IN when I'm rcady--not beiorei
(Sho will not hear me II I'm very careful
Closing thu door,
what II my father knew about this7 Oh
Tbered be some lively times If Re found out
Tint you were on this dooratep, Romeo,
Beyond doubt.
Rat 60 not yet-he'll not be home till late
You music Step lightly, then, or I'm afraid
Some one will hear you 10, goodnight, good
How long he staycd
"FATmER,o said boy who got kicked
in the face by a mule that he was an
moving. "Shall ever be as good looking
ms | wasp "No, my son" answered
the parent, ~ don't think you'll be as
handsome rs you were, but you'll know
a great deal more"
WHEN does man feel the value of
true wife?' asks writer. That de-
ponds upon what the writer means by
value. If he means estimated value, We
should say just after he gets her; II in
trinsic value, when he pays the first bill
for the Christmas presents she had
made him.
A SCHOOL board inspector asked .
small pupil Of what the surface OF the
earth consists, and was promptly an
swered, Gland and water" He varied
the question slightly, that the fact might
be impressed on the boys mind and
asked " What, then, do land and Wa
ter make 2" To which came the imme-
date response: "Mud."
A wARNINa to practical teachers.
Rector" Only five cents for morning
collection How is that" Warden
Well you said. in your sermon that
giving money to the church that was
got through business frauds did not pal
liate the sin; SO suppose the congrega-
ton considered you were personal, and
thew got offended and didn't give any
thing"
GLOW nicely this corn pops, OBJ
served he. as they sat eating it together
by the fire. eyes" replied she, holding
down her head, "it's got over being
green.v OF course he couldn't stand
such an inference as that, and might
soon have been seen popping" him
self, and watching the glad light in her
eyes as she blushingly said: eco ask
poppy"
LAFAYETTE (Ind.) Leader: A Lafay..
cite lady who is evidently a poetical
genius, while travelling recently IN =
railroad train, was much annoyed ~
gentleman smoking, whereupon she IA
dited the following stanza:
May never lady press his lips
| His proffered love returnng
Who makes furnace OF HIS mouth,
And keeps his chimney burning.
May each true woman shun his sight
For fear his fumes would choke her;
And none but those who use the " weed
Have kisses for a smoker.
A TRAVELLER in Texas reports new
decree Of table etiquette. He discovered
few blonde hairs in the soup, and he
thought the landlord would feel very
bad about it, but that gentleman merely
remarked, as he excavated perishinx
fiy from the butter: All asks, Judge.
that YOU don't fish 'em out with your
finger. You have got to use fork. IT
is one of the rules of the house that no
gentleman is expected to put his fingt
in the yittles. This amt no railroad
town, but when it comes to style and
tone we carry off the blue ribbon every
, time the horn toots."
New York Express: According te
DR.. Linsley, Mr.. Vanderbilt suffered
i from hernia, heart disease, chronic
3 cy.titis and dyspepsia; he was afflicted
E with dropsy, and met with q railroad
S accident, which drove the ends Of sew