The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1877-06-07
PENCIL AND SCISSORS.

FLOWERS are the alphabet of angels,
whereby they write on hills and fields
mysterious and sweet truths.
IT is said to be a sure sign that far
mer learned his farming from books when
he tries to keep the rain off from potato
patch with an umbrella.
You can't find Connecticut jury who
will convict school teacher for fogging
pupil, and the only remedy is to provide
sheet-iron lining for the boy clothes.
ANY work, no matter how humble,
that man honors by efficient labor will
be found important enough to secure re-
spect for himself and credit for his name.
Down at Chester they sell two slate
pencils for cent. A six-year boy re-
Gently surprised merchant by stepping
up to the counter and asking for eneslate
pencil and half a cents worth of mo-
lasses candy.
THE champion White Stocking Club,
of Chicago, were "goose- -egged" lately,
by the Champion City Club, of Spring
field, Ohio :-Springfelds, 8; Chicago
Whites, 0. The Springfield boys cry for
more league clubs to conquer.
AN old man died in Deckertown, N.
Y, the other day, and in obedience to
his dying request his coffin was carried
to the grave by his six sons, who are all
young men and lawyers. 1t was mourn
full sight-six lawyers in one family.
Mr.. SANKEY did not write "The
Ninety and Nine" 1t is a piece that he
found in a paper and fitted up for evan
gelistic use, and was written years ago by
Miss Eliza Clapham, then quite young
girl of the County of Fife in Scot
land.
az WILL and bequeath, " said Pat, 81 to
my beloved wife, Bridget, all my prop
erty, without reserve; to my eldest son
Patrick, one-half the remainder, and to
Dennis, my younger son, the rest. If any
thing is left it may go to Terrence
O'Carty, in sweet Ireland"
GATH, in Cincinnati Enquirer: The
most American of things, next to buff
falo hunt, is clam-bake. It assemblies
all the American propensities of trot-
ting-horse, stand-up drinks, eating in
, ones overcoat, and putting a lighted
cigar down by the dinner-plate.
WITHOUT danger, danger cannot be
surmounted. With the humble there is
perpetual peace. Wit once bought is
worth twice taught. Words may pass,
but blows fall heavily. Yielding tempers
pacify resentments Zeno, of all virtues,
, made his choice of silence.
GOOD LUcKs maiden light aud airy,
And long in place will not stay;
That ever restless little fairy
) Just steals kiss and slips away.
!. But Bad Luck's never in a hurry;
She keepeth close the heart she wins;
She says, there's not the slishtes hurry"
And sits down by your bed and spins.
"Mother," said a smart youth, burn
| ing to display his borrowed wit, "can
) you tell me what is the only place ON
earth where happiness is always to be
found ?' GA good conscience, my son."
"Pshawl a conscience isn't a place"
t "Then give it up" "The dictionary p'
PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island, is shocked
: at the matter of fact way in which the
dead are transplanted from the old west
burying ground. Thus the bones of the
ancestors are carted off in boxes labeled
"Lion of the Day." "Mystic Soap"
"Best of all" !" "Twelve pairs boys calf
: boots" etc.
THIS is what the Boston Iraveler said {:
"The Hartford Post is again swapping at
the Traveller. John, hand us that squirt
gun" And this is what the Boston Post
= says in return: "Now, then, the Boston
: Traveller is going to have some editorial
!, matter. They've sent john for the
editor"
!, THE other day simple child of ma
ture was walking along the banks of a
!, river. Suddenly she said to her COM
, panion: "Tell me, where does this water
90 ?'' "Into the sea" /" But then, why
doesn't the sea overflow? All, know
why it is. Because in the sea there are
so many sponges they suck it all up"