The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-12-01
BOggs' Wonderful Adventures.

BOggs' Wonderful Adventures.
IT is singular, the Authorizations that
will get possession of a man when he is
in his cups. Now there is Boggs, tenn
perate and truthful man, usually, but
when he gets a little "off," as sometimes
happens, he tells the most extraordinary
stories of his adventures by land and sea,
pure fabrications, every one of them.
He imagines that he has been every
where, seen everything and met every
body, when the fact is that he was born
and raised in the little town where he re-
sides and never was more than fifteen
miles away from home in all his life. He
has travelled altogether Gin his mind"
He quite believes all that he is telling
while the esprit" is on, but mournfully
repudiates it all next morning.
"Then you didn't go on four years
whaling voyage when you was boy?"
says a man the following day, after sit
ting up until late hour of the night
listening to his wonderful tales of the
sea, etc.
Whale nothin'r' says Boggs, trying
to rub whisky silver out of his eye. 81
don't see why want to tell that cussed
lie every time l get budgy. The only
experience l ever had in that line was
the whaling used to get from the old
man. And am afraid he didn't give me
enough of it, either"
"You said you went before the mast"
cit was mistake. The mast went
before me-"
"Never heard more entertaining
story in my life," continued the man,
THAN you gave of going around the
Horn"
"Well, I didn't GO around any horn
while was telling it, you can bet"
growled Boggs.
"You said terrible storm camp up.
Everybody frightened to death except
yourself. The Captain told you to take
the helm"
81 didn't state where he told me to
take it, did Il" said Boggs, bitterly.
1.-THE thunder rolled, the lightning
flashed, and there stood the Horn over a
thousand feet high. But you got around
! it."
Eyes, I always get around it. But it
is lie, every word of it. Never saw
the sea. What can put such notion
into my head? An ocean of beer proba-
bly,"
"Oh, but the whales you used to catch!
You didn't think anything of going out
all alone and towing in half a dozen
whales before breakfast, just to give you
an appetite"
Boggs groans and murmurs: " Let me
hang my harpoon on the willow"
I" But say, Boggs," continues his tor
mentor, "there isn't any question but
that you fought in the Mexican war, is
| there?"
"Never fought nobody" and Boggs
presses his throbbing temples with his
hand and almost weeps.
What! wasn't you the first man to
wade the Rio Grande, carrying the stars
and stripes? Didn't you capture Santa
Anna single-handed and receive the
thanks of Gen. Taylor as you led him in
to camp by the coat colar?"
No, no." means Boggs "The Mexi-
can war came on when was little boy.
l never went to no war. Oh, what fool
man can make of himself when wine is
in and-and his wife is out, with pain
full consciousness that the old woman
wouldn't stand any such nonsense when
she was around"
"Well, Mr.. Boggs," said the man, 81
shall begin to doubt some of the other
statements that you made last night. l
seriously question whether you gave
Morse his first ideas about the magnetic
telegraph, or invented the telephone, or
was the first man to discover Eli Perkins,
or was the Stanley when he found Liv-
ingstone, or was an intimate friend of
Christopher Columbus, or wrote for the
Ledger, or hadn't plan for the compile
ton of the Washington Monument, or
struck Billy Patterson in the late strike,
or hadn't an idea of writing an American
play, or that you was drunk, Or"
Hold, hold" cried Boggs. eff l
said l was drunk that was one bit of
truth that told last night. Let's shake
on that.
Sothey shook-each other and thus they
parted. Cincinnati Saturday Night.