, 1877-05-04

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ms h tine fuf sssFythinrsaosJi
d. rturu of an appreuiics uhs has husn
-, sf,er ths nail filoms sentinsl
Iyam.n on . polar etpe.liiion .hoad
kil another. What uould b. the hainous.
~, Of his criiaei Murder In The Sird
dsgree.
A NOV on the hase of the skull l. .
,.rious matter, but . Roman punch in
he stomach may lead 10 more lasting
consequences.
An English tourist asked the brother
Of Canova, the sculptor, after the lat
ter's death, "if he intended to carry on
the business.
An inventor Of a patent nostrum ad-
vertises: Cough while you can, for
when YOU have a few doses Of my mix
ture you can't"
AooNaREGATIoN in Maine has conclud-
ed that preacher may skate if he wants
TO. but he must keep his mouth shut
when his feet fly up.
A BALTIMORE paper says that the price
of board hasn't been 80 low for the last
ten years, and adds" and the board
hasn't been so poor, either"
"GRANDMA, why don't you keep a SER
want any longer ?" "Well, you see, my
child, 1 am getting old now, and can't
take care of one as 1 used to, you know"
THE Omaha newspapers took rest on
Washington's Birthday. This token of
respect on their part to the memory OF
the man who never told lie is inexplic-
able.
In the economy of nature nothing is
lost. The inside of an orange may re-
fresh one man, while the outside of the,
same fruit may serve to break another
mans leg.
A LAZY fellow, falling a distance of
fifty feet and escaping with only few
scratches, a bystander remarked that he
was "too slow to fall fast enough to
hurt himself"
IN Mexico they don't bother with an
electoral count as we do. Diaz simply
raised fifty soldiers and bag Of doub-
looms, and walked into the Presidential
chair as coolly as hungry dog in meat
shop.
COMPARISONS are odious p The ma
ior (rocking Nelly on his knee, for Aunt
Mary's sake) 1: Nelly-"Yes, it's very
nice. ButI rode on a real donkey yes
terday-I mean one with four legs, you
know"
AN old lady in Middlebury crossed
over a bridge marked Dangerous"
without seeing the sign. On being in
formed of the fact on the other side, she
instantly turned in great alarm and re-
crossed it.
LORD CAsTLRRRAGH made so many new
words that Canning called him the lite
rary eoiner. He has got mint in his
mind" said he. "Mint in his mind r.
rejoined Sheridan. 'Would he had
sage in his head p
NO" SAID the smart oy-baby, when
the pretty young woman wanted to kiss
him. But why not ?" asked she. ooh,
am too little to kiss you papa will kiss
you papa kisses all the big girls" He
was permitted to play with bis toys.
SoMEpeople feel very bad because ker-
osene is so high they don't seem to con-
sider that withoutthis great blessing we
would still be snufing a tallov candle
with our fingers and rubbing the black
of on our hair Oil City Derrick.
Two ragged little urchins were stand
ing in the gutter looking at lady who
mad Just fallen down on the pavement.
1t isn't so much that like bananas,
observed one of them, but what lot
peel p
"PooR boyI'' said lady, as she took
out her purse to give the little beggar
some change. "Yes, 1 am a poor boy, "
sad the young rascal, squeezing tear
out OF his eye, "and have four sick moth
ers to support" The lady put back her
purse, and walked sadly away.
We can stand almost anything from
sne type-setting fiend; but when our