Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1877-04-28
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.

A pickpocket works on abstract
principles.
A difficult lock to pick-One from
bald head.
A hearty man will grow round on
square meals
Pittsburg conpers are hoopin' up
four thousand five hundred barrels a
day.
"My bark is IN the se,," as the
cur said when the captain threw him
overheard.
By imparting our gr efs we have
them; by communicating our joys
we double them.
One swallow does not make a
spring, but may be it would if it
was a kangaroo.
"Hunted down. you will see on
any young man who is just beginning
10 raise few hairs.
The Trenton fellow said it was ap-
propriate that the newspaper called
the Excelsior should ego up"
A western editor recently rode
sixty miles on COW catcher, but he
failed to catch the COW after all.
VIM. Evarts went a fishing to
catch whale; the only fish he
caught was Hamilton-by the tail.
Why is the opening of the spring
campaign like fashionable woman2
Because there's great hustle about
it.
There is one advantage in being a
mule. He don't have to tie his tail
into hard knot to keep it out of the
mud.
Business is so dull in some
branches now, that the tradesman
actually lies in weight for a Gus
toner.
He that blows the Goals in quarrels
he has nothing to do with, has no
right to complain if the sparks fly in
his face.
"An' dat's jes' how 'spresses it.
'Lysses Grant hab gone out, Hayes
hab gone in, an Massa Tilden hab
gone up
The family tree of a Texas family
shows branch on which several
members have been hung for borrow
ing horses.
A Frenchman got exceedingly an
CRY with waiter at an English hotel.
"You rascal" exclaimed he, Il blow
your nose for YOU"
When halt a dozen people are to
dine upon quarter of lamb, what's
the proper time for diningf Why, a
quarter before six, of course.
1t takes good deal of philosophy
for q man who bumps his head
against an empty shelf to excuse the
shelf on the score of hard times.
Lady visitor examining the
schooD-"What's the capital of Iur-
keyT Bright little schnar-"Picasr,
IN, it amt got none-it's bankrupt
DO birds, asks a magazine writer,
"dle a natural deathl" We know of
many who have probably died in
mat way. We shot at them, anyhow.
II turns out that corsets have beeu
worn for thirty-five centuries. .-Ex.
ohow US II woman who has worn one
that long, and we shall believe u.
The Missouri Repubie,p hn~ ,l..d
a cabbage leaf in its hat, ni ,nr
Globe Democrat goes about summer
and winter with an entire head pt il
In its hat. ..
The worst damned country on the
face of the earth seems to be New En-
gland, to Judge from the frequency
OF the frightfnl disasters that lay
waste villages.
Out of the Pale.-Mr. Stanley has
discovered new "tribe of pale-fa
People who live on the cold uplands.'
With such diet they are not likely
to have much color.
A Trenton editor says he breads
the fall campaign, because of so
many parades. He says he is har-
rassed enough now, every Saturday
night, by a pay-raid.
WE publish this from The Hawk
eye as hint to some Of our Nim-
rods: An intelligent Burlington
hunting-dog, that had rather busy
time last season, went down to tin
shop one day last week and had his
hind-legs and back plated with sheet
iron. And now, when he sees his
master looking at the gun. he smiles
and remarks that he Is ready to
nunt in front Of the best fancy shot
IN Burlington"