The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1877-05-03
N 4 . G Q l I n n O O u =
Testing Her Affection.

Mr.. Thorpe is Q middle aged wild.
over and some time ago he paid his
addresses to Mrs. Bolts, o widow on
the shady side Of forty. Thorpe is
rich, and after the widow had accept
cd him, he began to fear that maybe
she had taken him for his money,
and so concluded to test her to as.
certain if she really loved him for
himself alone. So one evening, when
they were sitting together in the
psrlor, he said to her /:
Hannah, I've something unpleas
ant TO tell you, but am going to do
il because I consider it right that
you should know it. Hannah, what
would you say il informed you that
ono Of my knee-pans is gone. aud
that | have q patent hinge on that
leg2"
III should say that I cared nothing
for that my dear; have only one
toe on my left foot The others were
frost bitten of. and the ankle is oil
twisted around crooked"
"You don't tell mo y said Thorpe
"Well, but I've something worse
than that. ! might rs we'll confess
now that tho bald place on the top
of my head is not really my scalp
I've been trepanned. ! have silver
plated concern set into my skull, a
kind Of skylight. You eau lift it up
and see down on the inEide Of me-"
"I'm glad you mentioned it, DEAR
said the widow, "for it gives me
courage to tell you that | haven't q
hair OF my own on my head. I'm
bald as chandelier globe'
"Is that 80 I Gracious ! I never
eheuld have expected it. But you
will be surprised to learn that mono
OF my teeth are natural. All false,
and beside that, I have to wear an
India rubber thingamagig on my
palate to keep it from dropping
down."
'I'm very sorry for you John, but
it's some comfort that oil my teeth
ore false too, aud that am perfectly
blind in my right eye. It looks like
agood eye, but it absolutely amt
worth cent"
"Great Heavens! Why didn you
tell me OF this before 7" exclaimed
Thorpe. "But while wo are on this
subject, I will say further that have
chronic torpidity of the liver. and
that my brsastbone is disjointed so
that Il sticks out like o chickens.
How does that strike you -
20, | don't mind it, said Mrs.
Bolts, because have been bilious
and dyspeptic for twenty years !
have q wen on the back Of my neck,
and beside am one rib short. 1T
was broken in railroad accident,
and the doctor had to cut it out.
I'm subject to fits too."
This is horrible, said Thorpe
MRS. Bolts, think you ought to
have mentioned these things to me-
when I proposed to you I imagin-
cd that / was addressing q women,
o complete human creature. But
what are you Mrs. Bolts 7 You ap.
pear to me to be o kind OF a dilapi.
dated old wreck, with not moren half
of the usual machinery about you.
It's wonder to me you don't fall to
pieces.
4 am more than you ore. You
said yourself that you had q trap
door in tho top CT your head and q
gum~elestic palate, aud don't know
but what you have to wind yourself
up with q key at night when you go
to bed, to keep yourself running IN.
Ill morning.
Yes, but those things amt true,
said Thorpe. 4 only told you
about them to see il you really iov.
cd me I'm sound as o dollar nc
inactive liver, or silver plated skull
or anything. But you seem TO b,
kind OF strung together, SOS II yor
should knock against anything yor
would scatter all around all over th,
carpet ! think you ought TO let M
off,
s'very we'll, sir, 90 will. But ls
me tell you that I've nothing th,
matter with me either. only 10
vented these stories to try you, be
cause ! knew you were playing
game on me. Now know you don
love me. You can 60, cir.
ID "Hannah. ! take Il III back. ! a
love you sa
DO you. really : Thsn love 20
more than -
But no The curtain had bstts
b drawn right hsge. The cold an
ssldsh world hss 10 businsse viii
suoh seepes - thiG They aEe = b
eQaHadsssa lssl5 ~ ANiA !