The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1877-11-24
NUMBER 6.
PASSING SMILES.

Coon suits for bald-headed men
Mohar
HoTEL-KEEpERs are people we have to
"put up with"
A TUNE that young ladies try to catch
"A million air.
: THE cheapest of lawyers--Keeping
ones own counsel.
COURAGE is often the fear of being
thought coward
THE man who said he was out ON a
lark was really out on swallow.
"THIs," thought boy while being
trounced by his fond papa, " is very like
a whale"
PEOPLE seldom improve when they
have no other model but themselves to
copy after.
THIS is good time for driving. If
you do not own and cannot hire horse,
you can drive nail.
He who shows kindness towards ami
mails will display the same characteristics
towards the fellow-men.
WORK, but dontt worry" the old
saw says but some people don't work,
so they take it out in worrying.
THE first dollars ever made from Maine
silver have recently been coined from
metals taken the Sedgwick silver mines.
IF you want to make half the men in
the street stop and turn around, whistle
to stray dog on the opposite sidewalk.
WE do not know of how much man
is capable, if he has the WILL and to
what point he will rise If he feels free.
AN excellent quartette--A good tenn
per, a good library, good wife and
good friend are four of the choicest
blessings of human life.
You can't tell mans character by
the way he shakes hands. He may be
annoyed at the tightness of his new sus-
penders, and hardly grip at all.
THUS spakc Richter: "No man is
more profoundly sad than he who laughs
too much" And thus Lavater: " Too
much gravity argues shallow mind"
CLARA (bathing against medical or
ders) o, dear, there's the doctor on
the cliff! What shall doY Laura
Bob your head under water. He'll
have passed in ten minutesp
The Breakfast Table is the new can
didate for humorous honors in Cincin-
natl. 1t is full of wit, and Porkopolis
now claims that she has witty journal
that is not excelled by any of them.
THE DOG.
The dog who loves TO bark and bite
Who sleeps NIL day and barks all night
(Oh hit him with an aerolitel)
OF him write.
lie lives n life Of angud ease--
lie sometimes loves 10 bnrk up trees
lie hath his diosyncracies,
And likewise heas.
THE ghost of Noah Webster came to
spiritual medium in Alabama,
not long since, and wrote ON a slip of
paper: at is tite times" Noah was
right, but we are sorry to see he has
gone back on his dictionary.
A YOUNG man met rival who was
somewhat advanced in years, and wish
ing to annoy him, inquired how old he
was? 81 can't exactly tell" replied
the other, "but can inform you that
an ass is older at twenty, than a man at
sixty"
The United States Supreme Court
has decided that life insurance compa-
MES are not liable in cases Of suicide, if
their policies contain a clause exempt
ing them from responsibility in case the
insured commits suicide, whether he be
sane or insane.
WOMAN is a trustful, loving, confid-
ing angel, but she shakes her confidence
terribly when her husband comes home
at one o'clock in the morning, carrying
dozen mess mackerel on string, and
huskily explains that he has "been out
ruf-hic! fishing"
TwAs born in Bath" said dirty look
ing customer, as he harangued crowd at
a political meeting, "and love my native
place." You don't look as if you had
ever been there SINCE" said one of his
hearers, as he proceeded to land an OPP
position candidate.
Two men met on the piazza Of the
Railroad Hotel, at Lincoln, Nebraska;
one claimed that Nebraska was ali
good country, or shonld be; call it
lacks" said he, is good society and
water" "My good lordI p says the
other, that is all hi lacks"
LOUISVILLE Courier-.Journag: A let
ter in Philadelphia paper speaks of
the death of can artificial India rubber
toy maker" This rather beats the
steam man, and it is certainly pity
that such an extraordinary person could
not have been kept alive.
AN invalid Frenchman who hired q
horse every evening from a livery stable
particularly desired the hostler to see
that the horse had nothing to eat for
dinner. Because" he remarked,
" Monster le docteur he say mus tax re
gentle exercise on re empty stomach"
THE theology of childhood is some
times very suggestive. A little five
year old could not quite understand why
the stars did not shine one night when
the rain was pouring down in torrents.
She stood at the window bordering on
the subject with as much gravity as
Calico when he looked at the swinging
lamp in the Cathedral of Pisa, and with
equal success, for all at once her counte-
nance lighted up, and she said:
/" Mother, know why the stars don't
shine. God has pulled them all up SO
as to let the water come through the
holes"
LITTLE Mary had ride in an eleva-
tor, and when she reached home the fol-
lowing interesting conversation took.
place: Little Mary, (hreathless with