The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1877-11-15
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

SENSE AND NONSENSE.
TIE toper's song" Over the still to
the poor house.
SITTING and Johnny seem to Bull
ieve in each other.-N. Y. Graphic.
WHEN one woman hates another she
always speaks of her as "that per-
son."
DEEP cuffs, worn on the outside of
the sleeves, and large round collars are
still fashionable.
THERE are few surer ways to commit
suicide than to take choral to ease
some little pain.
A NEW YORK bootblack has intro
duced steam into his booth, and does
the polishing by machinery.
A VERY light adulteration of kero-
sene oil with naphtha or benzine makes
very dangerous compound.
1T is stated that of twenty-five wife
murderers in New York within five
years not one has been hanged.
FRENCH dame to the family physi-
clan: Doctor, want my husband to
take me to Nice for the winter. Now,
| what is the matter with me?''
A SIGN on a Rochester street reads,
"Joseph Amborn." We do not wish
to deny the assertion, but we object to
the grammar of it.-Rochester Demo-
crat.
OPAL is regarded with superstitious
dread by many ladies, as dcnoting
tickleness, but the Sultana believes
there is something Constantinople.-
Graphic.
A TELEGRAPH station has been estab-
lished at Gjesvor, near Cape North,
Norway. 1t is II deg. II min. north
latitude, and is the most northern sta
ton on the globe.
A YOUNG gentleman remarked to his
female companion the other evening,
''Ah! the most beautiful evening in my
recollection. Luna looks peculiarly
beautiful "Was that her just went
by?" quickly asked the young lady.
A BASE, ignoble brute says that when
he sees woman neither fat nor fair,
but forty. with a cardinal-red plume on
her hat, it suggests to him a life-and-
death struggle between nature and art,
with art on top, by Il small majority.
| A REGULAR Hercules is brought up
for aggravated assault. The Court
Have you anyone to defend you?''
Prisoner picking up 4 chair)-I can
defend myself. Come OH, all of you"
| (Clcans out court-room) Paris Paper.
Col. INGERsoLL, in his speech to
farmers said: Il believe in jewelry.
Some people look upon jewelry as bar
barrie, but in my Judgment, wearing
| jewelry is the first evidence the bar
barian gives of 4 wish to become civil
lized."
A YOUNG urchin wentin ahat-store,
the other day, and told the clerk that
he wanted a cap, at the same time put.
ting two cents on the counter. He was
then informed that the cheapest in the
store would cost twenty-five cents.
What!' said the youngster; 'them's
big enough for Il cannon. Ionly wants
one for pistol
\ HOUSE, Bremen cigar manufactur.
err, has published book in which he
says that cigar coloring is becoming
common. Most smokers prefer strong
and dark colored to light and bright
colored cigars, while the color of raw
tobacco tends rather to bright than to
dark. Hence the temptation to resort
to coloring, since poor cigars can thus
be passed off for good.
A BOY came along to one of the
neighbors' houses, holding very dirty
dog, and asked the gentleman of tho
house: don't you want to buy n dog
N1ister?'' "What kind of dog is it?'
asked the gentleman. The boy looked
puzzled. SWELL" said he, cit is par
terrier "And what is the rest?'
asked the gentleman. "The rest
answered the boy, "why, the rest is
is-just dog"
1T was Benjamin Franklin who re
marked, "Avoid all arguments al
home.'' When Mrs. Franklin asked
Benjamin to go out in the yard and
split an armful of kindling wood, in
stead of entering into a controversy
over the subject he would put on his
hat and 60 down town to see man
Thousands of husbands of to-day avoiC
arguments at home by adopting the
same method.
"RECKoN that air scales of yourn il
an Ambush scales, amt it?' said {
countryman to his grocer us he took the
sugar and handed over the money
"Ambush scales, what do you mean?''
replied the merchant; "who's Am
bush?' "Ambush-why, v know
reg'lar Ambush-y' understand what
Ambush means, don't ye?'' "Wall
l should hope so, Mr.. Woodruff-Am
bush means hid-means sOmethin' con
cealed-means-wait, here's the die.
tionary; I'll just read to yer exactly
what it means so's't you needn't never
use it wrong after this-here 'tis-A-
am ambush-to lie in wait for"
"Yis that's it, Squire; don't go nc
further-to lie in weight for two centsr'
N. Y. Graphic.
The danger of adulterating kerosene
oil with naphtha or benzine is recog
nized abstractly by most dealers in the
article; but few know how little adult
Grafton may make the kerosene unsafe
| A report to the New Orleans Board oil
Health states that when kerosene that
would not flash below 113 deg. Fab
had per cent. Of benzine added to it.
it flashed at 1O3 deg; with 2 per cent,
at % deg; with 5 per cent, at 50 deg.
with 10 per cent, at SO deg. This
means that mixture of the lighter pro-
duct of distillation, such as might moi
seem of much significance to the manu-
facturer or dealer, will produe an oil
that gives off an intlammable vapor in
the ordinary heat of apartments-ar
oil more dangerous to the consumer
than a key of gunpowder.