Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1877-09-29

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paF q the sAfssaxl d<tss- rzs-s Mr.. Essrs.
-s4lary sS ~ % en.hi~ hlG ~ b I'd .sfflcr
U1&irF the Prc~idxnts order. and bGila .
NAshIEgfoa m0aanseni s.0o0 fuxt high
And ali the orataoR. that can l.e de.iv-
erei to-day can't lie soia fur mote than
Two cents q pound, gestures thrown in
AT the Boston banquet. . man Eat
where he could have the President point
ed out to him. He sat in open mouihed
amazement, and saw the object Of his
gaze swallow glass after glass of native
wines aud champagne. and made notes
of every drink that was taken, and just
as he was thinking the President must
certainly go under the table every min-
ute, he discovered that he had been
watching Boston alderman all the
time, and had never had glimpse of
the President.
Mir. ENOCH EMERY, of the Peoria
Transcript, was married last Thursday
to Miss Mary M. Whiteside, county SUI
peIintendent Of schools. This notice is
put in the "Dots" not because it is funny,
but because it is true, and the para
grapher, who was on the Transcript when
he was married, desires to extend his
heartiest congratulations and best wishes
to his old employer and Mrs. Emery. We
can assure Mrs. Emery the Transcript is
th1best place in the world to look for
good husbands.
CHINESE women have no sense. Every
night they pray to their gods to change
them into men. Oh, foolish women.
BY the time you had walked mile and
a.half out of your way In the hot sun
and dived down eleven alleys and ram.
,bled through three lumber yards on
your way to the Office, in order to keep
out of the way of men who were looking
for you to dun you, you would he hap
PLY content to sit ut home, behind closed
blinds and locked doors in an upstairs
room and sew all day. Want to be men,
indeed.
JOHN BROUaHAM, in his "Birds and
Poets" tells the beet story, illustrative of
q boys proneness to tell, and his calm
confidence in the power Of lie, we ever
read. A teacher, after long and patient
watching, catches boy eating an apple
in school, u misdeed he had frequently
committed and a. repeatedly lied out Of.
"Ab ha," exclaimed the teacher, 1--WE
caught you at it this time" "Caught
me ut whst7" asked the boy in conscious
innocence. eating that apple" "Ain't
eating no APPLE" The astonished teach.
er compelled the boy to open his mouth,
and great slab Of apple was extracted
therefrsm. "Didn't know it was there"
sturdily asserted the boy.
A FEW days ago woman. frantic with
grief, called on the superintendent of
police in New York to recover her pet
= ~ soNCiy tcAIIcI tuoS uhu Uccu StOlou
from her hotel. She offered reward Of
nifty dollars for its recovery, went to the
dog pound, searched among the unhappy
and doomed CANNES there confined, dis.
trlouted money among the attendants,
|e2S besought them, with many tears, to
MA out for her lost darling, distributed
circulars containing printed description
OF the dog, telegraphed to the police su-
perintendents Of tine neighboring towns,
vent without dinner and drove about the
sheets in . cab, whistling, weeping and
calling, and went into joyous mysteries
when. about dark. the lost dog uas re-
covered. and went to sleep with IL in her
arms, and IL want until breakfast time
sAe neat morning she learned that her
ntile d.axttrr, thsce y~ars odd. had sl~ps
a. nagh; In . eosa tssn pslsee s.xtian,
SAVING hsss f~sad eryisx in the ssrs<as
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