Litchfield enquirer., 1877-05-10
ALMOST TRAGEDY.

Though as rule the theological stu= dent plays very weak game of whist owing to his habit of holding on to his 1 trumps to the last moment-he neverthe- I less has i.:s uses. Landladies find him extremely useful to have in the. house. since he can always be eoeroed into lend- ing his assistance in moving furniture during the house-cleaning season. More- over, for the purpose of escorting slngle middle-aged ladies home from evening meetings he is without rival. Generally speaking, and, of course, excepting his uIi- willingness to lead trumps, he IS an in offensive young man. containing no dele terious ingredients, and contributing in various ways to the benefit of his fellow men.
 Like the full grown clergyman. the the- ological student is by no means aquatic in his habits. Both clergyman and theo- logian occasionally attempt to manage sall- boats, but such exploits tend so di rectly to diminish the population l that they are sternly drowned down by all persons who are not sin cere Malthusians. Rowing is regarded as less objectionable, and many parishes allow their clergymen to row, on condition that no citizens of any real val ue are allowed to enter the clerical row. boat. The theological student. very nat 'qrally more reckless and deacon 0efying than the clergyman. is sometimes an hab- itual oarsman, and as rule he drowns only small proportion of his acquain- tances.
 The recent accident which befell a the- ological student at Waugekan ought to be a terrible warning to him and to others of his kind. One afternoon he asked his la dy, only fifteen years his senior ill age, to brave in his row boat the tempests and reef of the local mill pond. Remarking in the words of the poet, that his boat, was in the shore-house and his bark was on the sea, and further assert ing that if she would come with him, he would bring her home before tea, he won her consent, and in course of time gayly pushed from shore, trolling 8 wild chorus from his favorite hymn-book, and hand ling his oars with the air of a ruthless pirate. The water was fully ten feet deep which was enough for all useful pur poses, since objectionable people never I grow to the height of ten feet. The boat was & light and unusually crank craft, and the lady had the usuall middle-aged love for lilies. Of course she leaned over to pick lily, and of course the boat cap. sized, the lady instantly disappearing un- der the surfrce.
 In these circumstances, a man of mere ly ordinary courage and integrity would have swan quietly ashore, aud, after changing his clothes and finishing his supper, would have notified the Coroner that there was job waiting for him at the mill-pond. The theological student was, however. as brave as 8 combined Afri- can lion and Julius Cesar. Being 8 good swimmer, he amused himself by various aquatic feats until the lady reappeared, when he grasped her hat tightly In his left hand and struck out for the shore. He made such rapid progress that he glanced around to see how it was possible that 8 woman weighing seventy-one pounds could be dragged so easily, when to his great surprise, he found that she had separated from her hat, and had sunk for the second time. Hastily thrusting the hat into his bosom, careless of the pain inflicted by innumerable hair-pins, he waited for the reappearance of the la dy, and detarmined that this time he would secure firm hold. In few min. utes she rose to the surface in a reversed position, and the eager young man seiz- ing one of her feet, resolved to tow her ashore before placing her on an even keel 80 to speak. However, the lady rubber shoe parted from her foot almost as soon as he had seized 1t, and she sank for the third time. Once more she rose to the surface, and the theological student, grasping her by her hair, said to himself softly but joytully, ''ihis time I've got a sure thing" Hardly had he spoken, when the hair gave way, and he indignantly threw it from him. and began to despair of saving his companion from a watery grave. Nevertheless, that able woman was determined not to drown without making one more farewell appearance at the surface of the water. The theological student met ner views half way by diving for her, and grasping one of her ears. fortunately, the ear did not give way, and the lady arrived on shore greatly exhuas. ted. but still with sufficient presence of mind to clasp her arms around her ore. servers neck, and to call him her "dear. dear preserver.
 ''And afterward. of course, he married her." gratuitously remarks the reader at this point of the narrative. Strange as it may appear. that theologi- cal student, when visited by the ladv's father, and urged to name an early day for the wedding, he stoutly declined. He said that he did not regard priestly celi- bacy as an orthodox doctrine, and that it was possible that he might marry at some future day. He admitted that he held the lady whom he had rescued in high respect and esteem, but he felt compelled to say that she came apart altogether to easily. He did not mean to disparage her of or to cast auy reflection upon her par ents, but woman who was so insecurely constructed that she could not be touch- ed without falling apart was 'manifestly unftted for the dnties of pastors wife. It is pleasant to add that the father listened to these candid words in friend ly spirit, and returned home with deter imitation to have his daughter put in complete repair, no matter what the cost mighG be.
 This story teaches us that theolog- ical student may be the bravest of the brave, and that woman who is apparent lY firmly put together may be as prone to come apart as is an article of cheap furni- ture manufactured expressly to be sold at auction as part of the property of a leading citizen about to visit Europe. The weathercock on the steeple of the village church in Soudan, France. was timeworn and rusty, and those in author ity decided that it should be removed. A man elambered up the steeple, but just before he could reach the weathercock he lost his balance and slid down for 70 feet, then rebounded to the roof of the church, and was precipitated to the ground with out being seriously injured. Then a man named Chevalier strove to haul himself up by means of & rope; but at last his hands slipped and he fell backward.. His foot caught in the rope and there he re- mained, 12O feet from the ground, with his head down, beating the air with his arms, struggling to recover himself, and swaying backward and forward with a high wind. Pierre Pean now stepped forth and volunteered to the rescue of Chevalier, but, after doing his best for three-quraters of an hour, he had to de. scend. His place was taken by Moreau, 1 whn clinohino hinher than Chavaliar alin