The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1877-09-29
tiOn.'

VT come up to the bar TO get drink
In sleep he waits another seasons sup;
He's tomatoes; his pumps frizzen up!
DOG days are almost over, but cat
nights last all the year round.
A WESTERN sheriff wrote it: BY
virchew of writ of frey fakas,' but he
wasn't elected on the ground of superior
education.
THE fruit-dealer's sign" Pinch me,
don't pinch my fruit" Yes; but would
he want to have man bite him if he
found soft spot?
THE bogus Charley Ross said: You
can't come that on me. My mother
never spread the 'lasses on as thin as
that"
A FRIEND asks us if those beneath
Secretary Schurz could not be appropri-
ately called under Schurtz.-Rockland
Courier.
A WESTERN editor throws up the
sponge with the remark that it doesn't
pay to run paper in town where BUSH
ness men read almanacs and pick their
teeth with the tail of herring.
THE Haackeye pertinently asks why it
is that when a boy does something
funny, if you laugh at him he immedi-
ately feels it his solemn duty to do some
thing devilish in order to merit your APP
plause?
-Four children" said William Coch-
ran, of Liberty, Ky, recently, looking
with gentle rebuke down upon the suf-
fering Mrs. Cochran. My dear, did
you have it in mind to furnish the Rus
sian army with reinforcements"
LITTLE Emma, from Washington, was
sent on visit to her cousin, who was an
officer at Fortress Monroe. She became
homesick at last, and said, "Cousin A.,
please put stamp on my forehead and
send me home in the cars"
AT Harrison county, (Ky) wedding
the bride in playful mood kicked the
groom's hat off without touching his
head. After they have beer married a
few years her activity will not be APP
peased until she has kicked his heao, off
without touching his hat.-Puck.
AN English beauty who went to be
photographed at a seaside resort, after
| taking her seat in the chair of torture
was thus addressed by the insinuating
operator; Now, miss, you look at me
as if | was your young man and you q
met me unexpected"
A PAULDING farmer having cattle
trespassing upon his grain fields, posted
up the following: "Notis-If any man.
or wOman's COWS or oxen gifts in these
here otes his or her tale will be off as the
cass may be. | am Christian and pay
mi taxes, but darn man who lets his
critter run luse, say ~
DO you play the piano?' he asked
her. Il play that l play sometimes,
she answered, "but when I play | an
not playing, then ] play better than
play when playing pla,in. When
j play play it is sorry playing, and sorry
playing is a contradiction, 50 | do moi
play at all"
PREPARATIONS are being actively
made for the resumption of fall stndies
at the various large universities. Entire
new sets of bats and balls throughout
have been provided at Yale, and Harvard
is reported to have ordered large con
| signment of euchre decks from London
dealer.-N y. Commeeciol.
A MAN who had been out nearly ali
night told his wife on reaching home he
had made the important discovery that
! the earth had two moons as we'll as Mars
Just before he got into bed he tried tc
| blow out two flames of gas at the same
time, and in consequence his wife places
confidence in the discovery.
! "GOoD morning, Sniff; | see that yor
and Lufgins have been engaged to bring
up the rear of the fourth division of thu
procession on dedication day" "What
No. Lufgins and I? What makes vol
think sop Well, the rear is to be dis
tinguished citizens, and two respectable
men like you would just about cover the
whole ground"
A FRENCHMAN has discovered VIII,
Eve ate the apple in Eden. The gentle
manly devil, presenting it to her, re
marked that if Mr.. Adam eat re appe
he will become like our Dieu; but you
Madame ", cannot become more of
goddess than you are now" The com
pliment settled the question: ostol
Journal
WHAT" asked youth timidly of al
an eminent philologist, "what, is TIL
meaning of this phrase: modus oper
andi%" and the great linguist who's,
mind was saturated with the literature
of ancient Greece and Rome, replied
1t is Latin for How the old thing
works.
IN these days cometh the rustic to the
city, and he VANDERBILT up and down the
streets, and he lingereth at the door OF
the playhouse, yea, and he goeth IN, and
he gazeth on the fair maidens of the
Lydia Thompson Troupe, and when he
has returned to his home he confideth in
no one; but ne chuckleth TO himself and
he saith: am devil. "-Puck.
THE Danbury Neers reports disgrace
full fight in that usually quiet hamlet.
1.-The combatants," it says in conclusion,
"were seized by friends, dragged apart
and lifted out OF the dust. Flushed
bleeding, bruised, they stood and glared
at each other with malignant hatred
What a pitiful sight. Two friends at
enmity, one eye BACKED, two hearts
asunder, two coats torn, two lives embit-
tered, and three teeth missing"
A WEST HILL man, who travels a
great deal, has had his heart wrune
when he came in from the West be
cause the train ran right past his house
and carried him clear down town, and
he had to walk all the way back. Sc
the other morning he made up his
mind to get off the train at his own
gate if it scared him to death. He
wasn't very badly frightened. He got
one foot Oft the steps and down on the