davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-11-23
ScIssOrlngs.

A Kentucky man rarely chews
tobacco; he eats it. y, ,17 :
1t was good OF the President to
let the turkeys have a months
notice Of Thanksgiving.
The Free Press is still away be-
hind the age, for 1t thinks cit is
better that woMan should keep
her stockings in rcpair than that
aid should know the origin Of the
rainbow"
Here is one of Mrs. Corson's
bills of fare for sIx poor people
one day: Breakfast, broth and
bread, ten eents;- dinner, baked
beans, ten cents; supper macaroni,
with cheese, twelve cents. Total,
thirty-two cents. yser -. =,
FEVER AND AGUE.-One pint OF
pure vinegar and six ounces of
salt. Drank, one, half of mixture
and half an hour took balance,
when i was relieved Of q black
mess OF bile, and, have not hsd 3
shiver or q shake AInee.-Jones.
The Ohio Wesleyan University
at Delaware, Ohio, commenced the
year with exceedingly fiattering
prospects, 225 new students hav-
ing entered the several depart
ments. About $50 of these are
gentlemen. The consolidation Of
the Female College with the Uni
versity is working with great sat-
isfaction and success. The num-
Der of students Of both sexes now
In attendance at the University is
4S0, being n large advance on the
attendance in recent years.
The employees of the Railway
Mail Service are to be uniformed.
The uniform viii be Of plain blue
material, and is expected to cost
something less than $28 per suit.
The purpose of the order Is TO
guard more effectually against rob-
berries of the mails, and especially
to prevent the handling Of mHil
bags between wagons and the ON
ces or cars by persons who boldly
take advantage of the presump-
tion that they have q right to be
carrying the mail pouches that
that may be seen in their hands
The employees affected by this or,
der number nearly 5000.
Edward w. Fisher went to q
picnic In Harrisburg, Pa, with 6
girl, and during the day he Tel
gradually but surely in love with
her. In the evening he wished tC
call on her, but abe told him she
had an engagement with another
fellow, who was to spend the even
ing with her. Fisher went unde
her window and took laudnum
but the dose was not sufficient Il
kill. Then he shot himself, Blu
the bullet missed his heart, max
ing q a wound nom which he viii
recover. He is now being nurse,
by the girl, and she may learn 4
love him, after the NstorY bool
fashion. although as yet she says
"He's too big an idiot to live, bu
Idon't want him to die on my &C
count.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-11-23
Bay windows are safe harbors q
night for little emacks.

Bay windows are safe harbors ct
night for little smaeks.
The good are never successful in
catching fab. We have tried it our
selves.
There e. Ne man who needs SO
Anch watching ~ the one who IL
all the time watching some one
else.
blessed is the man who give his
wife tea csnts, without asking her
what che is going to do with 1t.
Swinging is said BY the doctors
TO be good exercise for health, but
many . poor wretch has come to
HE death By it.
~GObang" is the name Of 9 new
EDglish p6rlor game for children.
In the country It is played upon the
piano, and has been In vogue ever
since We can remember.
"Do y0u think your father is 60
ing 20 move out coon 2" inquired
the owner Of . rented house Of the
tenant. Reckon So" was the reply,
we've begun using window frames
for fPeWOod."
As the trial OF Q breach-Of prom
lee salt WAS about to begin in San
Francisco, . juror arose and asked
60 be excused, because he was en-
gagged TO be married, and conss.
QOently his mind wac not free from
biaa. He WAS excused.
"A country girl wrote 6 letter TO
her lover: 'Now, George, don't
yOu fale to be ct the sIneing school
tonight" George wrote back that
''in the bright lexicon OF youth
WsbGter's Unabridgsd-lhere's no
S0ch word - fale."
"My son,s said Mr.. X, kindly to
his youthful heir, "accustom your
self to be polite to the porter, the
servant girl, the coachmAn, to all
the servants; thus you will come In
time 20 be courteous to all people,
even your parents"
A Waterville girl worked the
motto, 81 need thee every hour"
and presented it to her chap. He
says ne cSn't help 1t; 1t takes him
two hours to milk, and feed the
pigs, morning and night, and bnsi-
ness has to be attended to.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-11-23


Agony peesonlflad-A bachelor edit
or trying % prepare an able and judi
cious article on che baby show.
RichelIeu says: "There's no such
word as fail" He however never lived
in the country, and besides probably
kept his money out Of savings banks.
OF misery man who died of soft
eniDg Of the brain local paper said /:
"HIS head gave way but his hand new
81 did. His brain sOftened, but his
heart couldn't"
A lot Of Frenchmen, Prussians and
Engiishmen chIseled Their names on an
AAciant Egyptian tomb. and over them
All N Indignant savAnt engraved, IA
list Of FOOLS"
A Nevada mans Chinese laborer re-
Gently refused 20 chep wood On Sunday
moEnings and when the reason was
asked be answered: cheap no work
Sunday; eli same white man. Heap
pisy poker" Oar bsnighted Chinese
a witness on entering the box, had
. testament presented 70 him, but he
declined % be sworn. Being asked
his reason for refusing, he naively re-
Piled: SE'u tell . lie VII ony mon T
Eneiand, bat III not swear to L."
We often see advertisements about
VAIuAble cats being lost, and . reward
offered for their return. Many = man
e he reads them IN the morning, chuck
les inwardly and chances affsctioaately
e the bOottack, which always says
aTWah thet did It."
Those who have the maintenance Of
the standard Of Americas literature II
heart viii learn with Rladness that the
Patent Once fire will not Interfere
With the regular publication Of those
absorbing reports which are the de-
light and glory of the reading world
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-11-23
TERN;
Postage free to ate Subscribers IN
the United States.

Harper's Magazine one year $1,000. 90
Harper's Weekly one year. 90
= a ri Sazar one year of IT /; e "
Subscriptions to Harpes's Magazine, Week
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An extra copy Of either the Magazine.
every club Of Ave subscribers at 81 90 each.
paid for by one remittance; or, six copies one
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Back numbers can be supplied at any time.
Tho volumes of the magazines commence
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A complete set of Harper's Magazine. now
comprising So volumes, in neat cloth binding,
purchaser. for 8 50 per volume. Single vol
umes, by mail, post paid, 81 %. Cloth cases,
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which constitutes this periodical perfect IL
Illustrated cyclopedia. Syo, cloth, s. 60; half
g v 81 Sss aSa the
commence with the year. When no time is
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the freight does not exceed one dollar,
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tcals only.
Newspapers ara not to copy this advertise
ment without the express order OF Harper
Brothers.
Address HARPER BROTHERS,
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The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-11-23
EMPORIA NEW s.
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER q, 1877.
no scandal ElOngers.

Ye vile and murderous scandal
mongers, both male aud female,
and also We OF doubtful sex,
whether We live in New York, Yer
mont or wheresoeyer, read these
words, and try and live more clean
" in the future:
The following admonition should
be read by many young men and
not a few old ones. Never use .
lady's name, in an improper place
at any improper time, or in mixed
company. Never make assertions
about her that you think to be I'M
true, or illusions that herself
would blush to hear. When you
meet with men who do not scruple
to use q woman's name in areck-
LEES manner, shun them; they are
the very worst members Of the
community ~men lost to every
sence Of honor, every feeling OF
humanity. Many . good and
worthy woman's character has
been forever ruined and her hear
broken by lie manufactured by
some villain, and repeated when ii
should not have been, and in pres
ence of those whose little judg-
meHt could not deter them from
circulating the foul and Dragging
report. A Islander is soon pregna-
ted, and the smallest thing derog
atory to . woman's character will
fly on the wings Of the wind and
magnify as it circulates, until iti
monstrOus weight brushes the pool
unconscious victim. Respect the
name of woman. Your mother
and sisters are women, and - you
would have their fair names untar
nlshed, aud their lives unembitter
ed by the slanderers bitter tongue
heed the ill yoar own words may
bring upon the mother, the sisrel
or the wife Of some fellow creature
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-11-23
TranR CarAs.

Ihav never kn0wn 3 second wife;
but what Waz bOas Of the slraashuu.
Whiskeo Il hard thing tu convince,
therefore never arSee with drunk
en- man.
After man gifts ta be- 80 years old
he kant form emmy new habits mutSh !;
the best he kan du Il 70 etser hiz cid
ones.
Emmy man who can swop horses or
keLch flsh and not lie about it, Il about
as Plus - men ever get 20 be Ia this
world.
The sasyoess man I ever met d .
henpekt husband when he Il away
from home.
An enthusiast IS en- individual who
heleayea about & times AZ mulch a he
kan prove, aad who kan prove about
4 times ~ match - emmy body else BE-
leaves.
The dog that will follow everybody
Amt worth . cuSS.
ThOse people who are trying 70 glt
/ tu heaven on their kreed Will ind cut
at last that they didn't hAv . thru
ticket, 3tA Ac
Natur seldum makes . phoOI, she
simply furnishes the raw materials and
lets the fellow flash the Job 70 suit
himself.
Yung man, learn to walt, ify uan.
dertake tn set hen before she IL reddy
yu viii lose yUre time and conf0zs IN
hen besides.
One ofthe bsst trades emmy msncaE
make IL tn sen his Tellgus kFead sAnC
vest the proceeds In charity.
One quart Of cheap whisky (ths
cheaper the better) tudisho0sly appli
ed, will do moro bIzzlness for the devL
than the smAFtess deakon ho has got.
BE merslphul to all dumb anlmals-,
no man kan ride into heaven on . sor'
backed hOrss.
Prudes always seem 70 me tu haV.
more proprieEy On hand than theJ
know what to do with.
When, men retire from the WoriC
they go into the crOaking Dizziness
and It amounts 20 just about 81 mucl
AZ the croaklng Of bullirog.
There IL two things about the devi
which I admire, and which arr Wur
thy OF initiation he Il alwuss blzzy
and never Wac known 20 break an en-
IgAaemenI.
4 When you have bored the buIl's eye
set down and keep still: folks vii
think then IN kan hit it any time y
have mind 20.
i don't soooleks OF ever doing ann.
thing that Waz just . little a8hAme'
OV, but what somebody remembered Il
and Waz sure once In while % pO
me In mind ov it.
. I am willing 70 rock baby all CD
J elme while the Wi0E1In loaks aEe bill
/ soap, I am WIlllng tn kat rags, 9
] work up intu rag carpeess they kA
keep me hunting hena' eggs wet day.
: or picking green c0rranea, or ! WI
even dip kandless or koro apples 20
! sass, or turn . grind stone. bat, b
thunder, won't churn. / have exam
lined myself on this s1bjekt, and Be
lax knife, 90 long - he remains q
his right mind, Josh Billings won
churn.
Il The wust cuss on earth Is WhitG
WAsht christian, beccx be = j0st d
opposIt Of ! true ones
The next Wuse cuss Is 9 WhIts-Wesk
reEormer. He'll do more deVil1en
than . regiment OF common folks.
Boss Tweed was = yslia' o1s ref0rl
when has arms wer up Go his elbow
10 the treasury and dsvln' deeper q
J 1.-THE time.
any stsaliE, doaa, o. any Oskne EzHAEall
! | ~, one OF theze WhIfeWaaht cnssl
) dn4 lt.
Il Look out fur 'em with both eye
I They ara kuts and slippegy. They pa
I on long faces tu hide the devil In 'eu
/. and kfy reform "a hover their seealiS
/ Intenshuns. Watch se0; they'll bal
: lie. You can p1t . pin thare ever
time. JoaH BIELuGas.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-11-23

The worst thing about the New
Jersey election IL that the Legisla-
ture Just chosen, with . Democratic
joint majority of nine, viii have the
redistrioling of the State, and may
be able 70 30 do IL that IL will not
be 90 easy for the RepublicAnss to
carry the Legislature when the
Democrats have q majority OF thous-
ands In the State. Last year In the
face Of Tilden's l2,OO0 majority, the
Democrats had bnt one majority in
the Legislature.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-11-23


The young colored man who
was refrsed admission to the uni
versity of New York, where he
wanted to study. medicine, has
lnAtriculated at Michigan Univer-
sity.
The Music Teachers National
Convection that was to have met at
Delaware, Ohio, in the coming
holidays, has been postponed II
viii probably meet next July, and
Lake Chautauqua II suggested -
the most suitable place.
The State OF Texas has pur-
chased 1,4OO acres Of land, with
buildings and improvements, near
Hampstead, for the State Univer-
atty Tor colored youths. The In
tention il TO combi1e the State
University with the Agricultural
and Mechanical College.
Four Harvard College stndsats
were fined SIS aAd costs ia the
Police Court Ct Cambridge. Naas..
one day last week, nallciOus mis-.
chief. The young gestlemea hid
been amusing themselves, nndel
the cover Of night By pullins deNn
signs, overturning barber pole8
carrying oH gates, DC.
Bavaria shows 1871 industrial
schools for girls, with LIST teach.
ers and 1885 pupilss nlso, =
polytechnic school ct Munfch, sc
chronological schools, 8 known 81
higher Industrial, . veterinary
two superior Commercial, 8 81
architecture, 4 OF agricplture, with
9A7 special courses on the subject
in other schools. ?.
In regard to co-education ct the
University Of Wisconain, the com.
mittee WHO made the reeeAt IN,
favorable report on the hsalth oi
the young women only saw them
during the commencement week
whe they were naturaily fAtigned
with the work Of the year. ThG
friends Of the co-educktion elatA
that the health Of the girl grad
yates IL IS good as tha4 Of thstl
male classmates.
! Doctor Gardner, the old head
master Of the Boston Latin School
was exceedingly proud Of hil
economy In matters Of dress, and
often lectured to his pupils or
extrsvaganCe in the same. One
morning he entered his class room
which vas Alled with boys just ar
rived at their teens, and, atrnk
ing his venerable overcoat ap
provinsly, and surveying iss gen
eral effect, said grAvelY: "D'ye seG
this coat3 How many Of you boys
there can say you have HOrn {
c0at forty ysArs, - I have thisT
DR.. Z. G. Loring recently de-
livered an address before the New
York Medical association On thu
sub ject, sis the human eye grad
ually changing its form and be
coming near-sighted under the ID.
fiuenee OF modern educatioA2
He maintained the affirmative 81
tire proposition ana produced eva.
dence that the opinion generally
prevailed among medical and sci.
entific men who had given atte1.
ton to the subject. In New Yoek
City the percentage OF near sight
ed children Is greater among the
Germans than any other nation.
ality.
We report with satisfaction tia;
the "Freedmen's Normal and
Theological Institute of the Ar.
kansas Conference, II. e. Church
has been opened In Wesley Chapel,
Little Rock. Miss 81. NJ. Perkins
4ormerly of the Central Tennessee
College and later Of Wiley UniVer.
sity, Marshall, TAxas, has charge
Of the school. Special attention
win be given to pupils who hay,
completed q school course. We
have long seen the need Of such &
school in Arksnsss and hope that
it Will be literally patronized.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-11-23

A schoOl-board inspector asked .
ANAL pupil OF what the surface Of the
earth consists, and was promptly an.
swered, SLand and water" He varied
the question slightly, that the fact
might be Impressed On the boy pia9,
mediate response: "Mnd."
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-11-23
ESTABLISHED 1869.
r.. S. e A. p. LACEY
ArtOrneyS-at-A
5sS Seventh st. WASHINGTON, d. C.
Patents snd Inventors.

Patents saa Inventors.
We procure LEFTBEe PATzHT DRIVEN
applications for patents in the United States.
NO charges unless the patent Is granted. NO
fees for making preliminary examinations.
ing . rehearing. Special attention given to
InterEarence Cases before the Patent Once.
suits In dinsrens states, and al iitiSation
appertaining 20 Inventions and Patents- We
also procure Patents n Sanade ana otnsr 10r.
giving FULL INFoRAATIoN AND T1RHs.
United States Courts and Dspar42ents.
Claims prosecuted In the Supreme Court Of
glasses Of war claims before the Executive
ArreeEa Of Pay and Beauty.
l5OFRICERS, SOLDIERS and SAILORS Of the
late war. or their heirs are In many cases en-
titled TO money from the government. OF
S, slcn tney nave no 6 s s a1,,
and bounty received. Enclose stamp, and .
full reply after examination, will be given
you without charge.
All Onlcers. Soldiers and Sailors, at pres
ens disabled, however slightly, from wounds,
ed Or cSStrscsed in he iias q duty Il the Late
ing pensions are ensitied 10 increase.
UaIteA States 0easEai Had 0Aee.
Contested Land Cases. Private Laad Claims,
Mining Presumption, and Homestead case
Departments % the Interior.
EAad Warrants.
We pay cash for Bounty Land Warrants
and Additional Homestead Scrip. we invite
correspondence with all parties having any
for sale, and give full and explicit Instruction
where assignments are imperfect
We conduct our business IN separate bo-
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and experienced lawyers an& clerks, and give
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| 70 Us.
As We charge No fes unless succs ssfnl,
stamps for return postage should be seat us
j Liberal arrangements made with attorneys
in all classes OF Business. Address
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-11-23

A fat young hippopotamus
Sat grimly by the Nile,
Contrtving dire vengeance
On lady crocodile,
Who. that morning. for her breakfast
Ate up his brother's twain;
So he pondered long and deeply
How to pay her back again.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-11-23
FREIGHT by the
Heust0n and Texas Central Ry.

The following officers ana agents have been
established by this company. where Informal
ton may be had concerning not only the
u. Manchester, Eastern Passenger Agt.,
Gen. J. i. Robertson, Pass. and Inmlgra-
ton Akt, 1I3 North Third ST., St Louis 20
Clark st., Chicago, HI.
Nick Holiness southeastern Agt., No. 2
Burnett House, Cincinnati, Ohio
J. h Coin, Southern Passenger Aren't.
Chattanooga, Tenn.
Information may also be had at the agencies
o. the H.. =: = q. railway, in New York
CntcaSos Cincinnati Hannibal and {. Louis.
J. WALDO.
Gen. Pass. and Freight ACT,
.. DUEAHDs HoUsF0N fExAR
Genn up, Houston, Texas, a-iI
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-11-23
HARPER's WEEKLY.
ILLUSTRATED.
81 tha Pros.

NUI4Ctb Of inc I-Ftsbs
The weekly is the abiest and most pow
erEul illustrated periodical published in this
country. Its editorials are scholarly and con-
vincing and carry much weight. It's ilIustra-
tionSOf current events are full and fresh and
are prepared by our best designers.-Louis-
vile Cour. Jour.
sHarperss weekly should be ia every fam
ily throughout the land, - purer, more in
teFesting. higher toned. better illustrated pa
per is not published in this or any other cOun-
try Com. Bulletin Boston.
The Weekly Is the only illustrated paper
Of the day that in ats essential characteristics
Eagle.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-11-23
ssA Repository Of Fashion, Pleasure,
and instruction.
HARPER's Bazaar.
ILLUSTRATED.

NOtIC68 OF Inc fEtsS.
Bhe @Bazar'' is the organ of the fashioua-
BILE worid, and the expounder Of that worlds
laws; snd is is the authority ia all Mates OF
m0nners, etiquette, costume and social hab-
It's Boston Traveller.
The Bazaar commands itself to every
member Of the household-to the children by
drOlI and pretty pictures. to the young ladies
by its fashion plates in endless variety, 10 the
provident matron by its patterns for the chill
dren's clothes, to paterfamllias by Its tasteful
designs for embroidered slippers and luxuri-
Gus dreSsing.goWns. But the eading matter
of the Bazaar Is uniformly Of great excellence
The paper has aquired great popularity for
the hreside enjoyment it Affords, and has be-
come an established authority with the ladies
OF America N, Y. Eve. Post.
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-11-23
UnquestiOnabIy tie Best Sustained
Work OF the kind In the World.
NARPER'S MAGAZINE.
ILLUSTRATED.

Notices Of the Press.
The yetersn Magazine, which long ago cut
grew it original 3itie Of the Anew Monthly
Magazine has not In the least abated the
popularity it won at the OUTSET, but has added
20 1t in many ways, and has kept fairy
abreast of the times. thanks 70 the enterprise
OF the publishers and the tact and wisdom Of
It's editors. For whatever Is best and most
readable IN the literature Of travel, discovery
and fiction, the average reader Of to-day looks
20 sHarper's Magazine" just as expeltAntly
rs did the reader Of . quarter of 3 centuary
ago; there IS the same apmirable variety of
contents and the same freshness and sugges-
tiveness in its e iitorial departments now -
then.-Bost01 Journal,
81 Complete Pictorial History Of fAe Times -
-"5zs Rest, Cheapest. and most SHccsssfiGl
Family Paper SR tAs Cai0n."
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-11-23

COLD :$$; . ;;ss:; !: s 5:
IN every town 20 taKe subscriptions Tor The
largest cheapest and best illustrated family
publication IN the world Any one can DecCme
successful agent. The most elegant works
q art given free 70 subscribers. The price. Is
50 low that almost eVerybo subseribes Otse
agent reports making over $50 in week i
IN ten days. All who engage make money
fase. You can devote al your time 10 the
net be sHsy from kcnls over night. You s.,.,,
do u Is well - others. Euif pErtieuIars fIi
recfle1s and te<me Tree. Elegant and exisen-
eend rs year address et once 1k costs rsofli-
ing 70 try tAe business. No one who eneegea
fails 70 make great pay, Address ssThs Peos
Ple's Journal" Portland, Maine. es-iys
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-11-23

when cut goes the sherry eebbler,
In comes the Int turkey gObbleF.
You see, despite the chilly season,
All things Wo-k to rules Of reason
The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1877-11-23

Contested Land Cases, Private Laad Claims,
Mining Fre-emp tion. and Homestead Cases
presented before the General Land O4ee and
Department. ol the 1nteTior.