The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1877-02-02

| HOtc AIr. BeIIGnIy Tried to Keep HIS Eye!
| Open In Church and the Woes it
Brought upon HIM.
The other day Mr.. Bellamy, of PonC
street, read in a religious paper the fol
lowing paragraph:
Many very good people are annoyed
by sleepiness in church. The following
remedy is recommended Lift the foot
seven inches from the foor, and hold it in
suspense without support for the limb,
and repeat the remedy if the attack re-
turns"
Now, Mr.. Bellamy is very good man,
and he is subject to that very annoyance,
which in his case amounts to a positive
atfiiction. So he cut that paragraph out,
in accordance with che appended instruc-
tion, and pasted it in his hat, and was
rejoiced in his inmost soul to think that
he had found relief from his annoyance
He hoped that deacon Ashbury, who
had frowned at him so often and so
dreadfully for nodding, hadn't seen the
paragraph, for the deacon sometimes
slept under the preached word, and Mr..
Bellamy wanted to get even with him.
And Mr.. Driscoll, who used to sit in the
choir, and cover his own sleepiness and
divert attention from his own heavy eyes
by laughing in a most irTeverent and in
decorous manner at Mr.. Bellamy's sleepy
visage and struggling eyes and head
how the good man did want to get it on
Driscoll. So he chuckled and hugged
his treasure, so to speak, in his mind. He
was so confident that he had found the
panacea for his trouble that he went to
the minister and told him what burden
his drowsiness had been to him, but that
he had made his mind now to shake it
off, and to continue to keep it off, and he
was certain that he had sufficient strength
of mind and force of will to overcome the
habit. And the minister was so pleased,
and commended Mr.. Bellamy 50 warmly
and said that he wished he had one hun
dred such men in his congregation, that
Mr.. Bellamy was so elated, and happy,
and confident that he could hardly wait
for Sunday to come to try his new
method of averting drowsiness.
Sunday came, however, and soon
enough, too, for it was Saturday after
noon plumb, chick, chock full of men
with bills, overdue notes, trifing ac-
counts, little balances, payroll, rent,
narrow-gauge subscriptions, political as
sessments, and one little thing and an
other, almost before Mr.. Bellamy knew
it, although it hadn't been here half an
hour before he had some suspicion of it,
and was soon very confident of it. Sun
day morning found this good man in his
accustomed place, devout and drowsy as
ever. The church was very comfortably
filled with an attentive congregation, and
Mr.. Bellamy was soon cornered up in one
end Of the pew, and the strange young
lady who sat next to him was attended by
very small white dog that looked like
roll of cotton batting with red
eyes and black nose. The opening ex-
ercises passed off without incident, and
the minister hadn't got to secondly when
Mr.. Bellamy suddenly reused himself
with a start from doze into which he
was dropping. His heart fairly stood
still as he thought how nearly he had
forgotten his recipe. He feared TO at
tract any attention to himself, lest his
precious method should be discovered,
and slowly lifted his left foot from the
footstool and held it about seven inches
in the air. AS he raised his foot the
strange young lady shrunk away from
him in evident alarm. This annoyed Mr..
Bellamy, and disconnected him SO that
he was on the point of lowering his foot
and whispering an explanation, when the
dog, which had been quietly sleeping by
the footstool, opened his eyes, and seeing
the uplifted foot slowly descending in
its direction, hastily scrambled to its feet
and backed away, barking and yelling
terriically. The young lady, nov thor
oughly alarmed, jerkcd her feet from off
the footstool, which Immediately flew up
under the weight of Mr.. Bellamy's foot,
and the dog, excited by this additional
catastrophe, fairly barked himself into
convulsions. Deacon Ashbury, awakened
by the racket, came tiptOeing and frown-
ing down the aisle, bending his shaggy
brows upon Mr.. Bellamy, who actually
believed that if he got sny hotter he
would break out in flames that not even
the beaded perspiration that was stand
ing out in his scarlet face could extin-
guish. The young lady rose to leave the
pew, Mr.. Bellamy rose to explain, and as
he did so she was quite convinced of what
she had before been suspicious-that he
was crazy. She backed out of the pew
and sought Deacon Ashbury protection.
Mr.. Bellamy attempted to whisper mex
pIauation to the deacon, but that austere
official motioned him back to his seat, and
as the minister paused until the inter-
r1ntion should cease, said in severe
undertone that was heard all over the
church:
"You've been dreaming again, brother
Bellamy."
Mr.. Bellamy sank into his seat, quite
covered with confusion as with couple
of garments and bed-quilt, and his un-
happiness was greatly aggravated when
he looked up into the choir and saw Dris-
coll convulsed with merriment, stufhng
his handkerchief into his mouth ana
shaking with suppressed laughter.
After service Mr.. Bellamy, who was all