The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-03-10
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

CREAM Uf UUK EACflANuEo.
The Chicago board Of trade held secret Sc;
sion on Monday evening to cogltatc over tn
following newspaper item;
A Canada "speculator" has been reaping
harvest in this wise: He stole six hogs at over
Sound and sold them ct Clifford; sole theh
again and sold them at Brussels; stole theu
again, together with few bags OF wheat an.
sod them to pork packing establishment u
Listowel, where they were Immediately siaugnt
cred and cut up, aud thus rendered 50 ineonVeh
lent for Transportation that they were leit aiohe
He made a net profit Of about three hundred
and fifty dollars on all these operations.
The question was whether they should oher
the presidency of the Board to this Canadian OF
to Joe Bradley.
Mr.. Spurgeon, speaking Of clerical throats
saws: 81 have heard surgeons affirm that DIS
senting bronchitis differs from the Church OF
ENGLAND article. There is an ecclesiastical
twarg which is much admired in the Establish
ment-a sort Of steeple-in-the.throat grandeur
an aristocratic, theologic, parsonic, supernatu'
raj, mira human mounting Of Language and roll
ing over OF words"
The poets are making the most Of Simon Cam.
eron's little love affair, in this wise;
Simple Simon,
Tilted Hymen,
But, at scventy.cght,
Wooed widow,
Yes, he did, OH
At the Treasury gate.
Then the widow
TO him said, Oh,
Let me see your money
Aud the Senate
For minute
Shouted, "Oh. ho. no .ho no ho-ho hoo
o-o.o-O-o.o-o-hu! It's funny!
The Louisiana rascals in Washington are near
ly all in very poor health. This is ominous; ac-
co.dlag to Homer the terrible pestencc which
smote the Greeks before the walls Of Troy be-
gan with the mules and hogs.
The famous gorilla that $50 cndearcd itself
to the people OF Berlin as Moncure Conway
explains it, is dead, and the cause OF its death
was, that having seen its master uniasten pad
lock, it attempted the same feat, but failed,
though trying for hours and day after day. This
wore upon il so that its mind finally gave way
and it died from the mental strain. What an
awful lesson, says the Y. World, this conveys
to the Republican editors who are attempting
to prove that Hayes was elected president Of
Of the United States.
There is mighty significance in that ~;
II we had had Davis
Davis would have saved US;
But since it was Bradley
"Scooped" we are badly.
Oh had we a Dave
Our cause he could save.
But having had Joe
We haven't a" show"
Thus fixed is our fate
BY seven to eight.
The Burlington Hamkeye relates the following
touching incident: -#.. .... ...
About two weeks ago young lady broke
through the ice OF deep skating pond near To
ronto, and young man rescued her at the FISK
Of his own life As the half-drowncd girl was
recovering consciousness her agonized father
arrived on the spot. Taking one OF her cold,
white hands in one Of his own, he reached out
the other for the hand OF her rescuer, but the
young man. realizing his danger, with one
frightened glance broke for the woods, and was
soon lost to view. He has not been heard OF
since, and it is supposed that he is travelling In
the United States under the false aud hollow
name 81 Smith.
A Peru photographer, according to the Herald,
requires his lady patrons, on taking their seats,
to to compose their countenances e" to bland
and severe character" by saying over mentally
the word BOSOM" or If they wish to assume a
sweet and noble, dignifed bearing, they are to
use the word brush" Several ladies' have al
ready died in the effort to look "severe and
bland at the same time, and it is thought the
photographer is undertaking too much.
The following used to be one OF Sankey's most
effective hymns, but he Is not allowed to sing 1t
at Boston on account OF Its manifest adaptation
to the republican presidential larceny:
Sowing the seed by the daylight fair,
Sowing the seed by the MONDAY glare.
Sowing the seed by the fiding light,
Sowing the seed in the solemn night
Oh, what shall the harvest beg
Sown 10 the darkness or sown in the light,
Sown in our weakness or sown In our might,
Gathered IN time or eternity,
Sure, ali! sure, Will the harvest be,
Oh, what shall the harvest be.
Sowing the seed OF a lingering pain,
Sowing the seed OF II maddened brain,
Sowing the seed Of Il furnished name,
Sowing the seed Of eternal shame
Oh, what shall the harvest bes
The San Francisco clergy, having discussed
the best method Of making pastoral vista
tiOns," unanimously condemned the practice Of
entering Pensioners premises over rear fences.
The young man who makes up the headlines
for the Boston HcraM rather startled the public
the other morning by coming out strong on a
Terrible, Heartrcnding Disaster. An Awful
Flood and a Whole Country Submerged. Latest
Telegraphic Particulars from the Scene Of the
Disaster The startling headlines had been
placed over one of Moody's sermons depicting
the Noachic GOOD. The young man in his haste
had mistaken il for a cable dispatch
From the Cincinnati EEqaircr we clip the fol.
lowing sweet thing: