The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1877-11-22

this strange. cventful history" i' keo
scnc.
Ifyoa don't want 10 be robbed Of your
/ good name. do not have II painted on
I your umbrella.
A bookkcepcr while visiting Boston.
went 90 the top Of Bunker iiill Monu.
mcnt lie says IL VS. tho hardest col
umn 10 foot up he ever saw.
A London tailor has this sign 10 his
window NO American orders taken
without q deposit" Above q bar m Chi.
caeo may be read NO trust for English
noblemen.
When a boy runs Oh early in the morn.
| ing and stays away ali day. q is with nnx.
ious tread that be approaches his pa.
rental dofhicile. But what a relief u Il
10 find company at tea.
An Irishman. seeing a vessel very
heavily laden and scarcely above the
waters edge exclaimed Upon my
I sowl, II the river was bat a little higher.
the ship would 20 to the bottom
NY dear boy" said mother 20 her
son. a. he handed round his plate for
more turkey. this ~ tho fourth time
I you have been helped" u know. moth.
Y or. replied the boy, but that turkey
| pecked at me once. and ! want 20 get
square with him" lie got hia turkey.
Madam. don't you know that your
baby will catch is death Of cold there 2
NO, cir she promptly responded.
I Well its such carelessneal a. that which
l hlls our cemetery with little graves, be
continued While all the Old fools con.
tinue to live. she replied
Teutonic gentleman entered a drug.
store with a handful Of currency. aad
asked q rather green clerk in attendance
/ II he had "a ~ tollar pill. wishing 20
change bis small notes Tor a bill Of that
I denomination The clerk looked up
with bulginF eyes. and replied that tho
highest priced pills In tho store were only
two dollars q box
A Scotch farmer once took his wife 60
sec tho wonders Of a microscope. Toe
various curioaities seemed 20 please the
woman very well. t.ll the animaicula
| proicssed 10 be contained In a drop Of
water were shown of These seemed 10
/ poor Janet not 90 very pleasant n sight a.
the Others. She sat patiently. however.
I'LL the water tigers. maFnihcd 20 the
siEe Of twelve feet. appeared on the
sheet Sighting with their usual fcrociiy.
Janet now rose in great trcpidation. aud
cried 90 her husband Come ava.
John" "Sit still. woman. aud sec tho
show. said John. See tho show. man
What wad come o ua II the awfn.iiko
brutcs wad brak out o. the water p
minister was riding through a sec
ton Of the State Of South Carolina.
where custom forbade innkecpcrs 10 take
pay from the clergy who stayed with
them. Tho minister ia question took
supper without prayer aud ate his break.
fast without prayer or grace. and was
about 20 take hia departure when "mine
host presented his DILL "Ah. sir." said
be- II am a clergyman THAT may be"
responded Boniiaec bat you came here.
smoked Ike a sinner. aud ate aud drank
like a sinner and now. sir, you shall pay
like a sinner
A little girl braids tho hair OF one Who
sits In front Of her. instead Of studying.
when the teacher rem srks. Home i the
place for arranging the hair. not here
What would you think OF my braidnF
my hair ia uchoolg Presently Suaan'a
hand raised. and the tracher. suppos.
ing she wishes TO ak some question
about the lesson mods. when she hears
the following Mary says your hair l.
false. and that you wouldn't dare 10 do
10 here
Did you never. asked a transcend.
entail young lady Just three weeks from
Nnssar, Of The West llill young man.
Did you never feel vague. unrcscntful
yearninF after the beyond Wild.
strange. impulsivc longing and reaching
out after the unattainabio q Add the
West lIill man said ho oftcn bad. last
az such times a. be was trying
10 scratch a square inch fuil Of hives.
right between his shoulder bladcF and
Just out Of reach of anything
CHANGING Al the ticket reserved Tor the
boy travelling half fare a. under twelve.
be looked at him and then at his moth.
cr. then az the ticket, aud remarked
that he was a large boy 10 bc riding al
halt fare" 4 know he i sir." said the
lady. but hes grown a good deal since
We started. When last seen. Sandy.
The conductor of the noted slow train.
vas on his way 90 speak 10 the engineer
about a.
Mrs. spyke has a boy who mails
things One day be remarked In the
presence Of both parents. Ma. saw "a
Siss you Ia the woodshci last evening
ted 90 foolish an act 2" yes. he did
Jane says IL wasn't her. bat you Jane
doesn't work there now
An Illinois youth invested dollar
Ind a half in a New York firm 20 die.
cover How 70 appear we'll in society.
The receipt which he received hy return
mail. was short. simple. aud easily On.
ierstood Always keep yout nose clean.
md don't suck more than ono finger at
4 time
A young Lady Of Ilolyoke tied raw
ump Of red liver around her throat 10
,urc her hoaraencaa. Bat when she
,woke Ia the night aud fourd a select
company Of rats sitting around on her
,hin and shoulder. making lunch of
he liver. she went back 10 the good old
hartshorn linimcnt
When an enihuaiastir editor describes
! bride a. bnnny and an euvious com
positor sets her up AZ bony. az was done
a Jacksonville the other day hope for
season bids the world farewell. and free.
dom shriclgs a. the compositor falls al
ais form. Drained BY the brother Of the
blooming bride
The other day New York policeman.
In making cut a charge against an ar.
rested party. wrote The prisoner set
upon me dtaordsfly. and called me an
iss and precious ruiiian. and an idiot
All Of which certify 10 be true.
A boy. az be turned TO his uncle. and
pointed 90 q picture aaid. Uncle Ned.
" hat is that9 On being told that twas
a whale. he looked az "a again. aud said.