The Manchester journal. [volume] (Manchester, Vt.) 1861-current, 1877-05-17
4 WESTERN ROMANCE.

WESTERN ROMANCE.
The course OF true love can never run
smoothly when complicated with cats,
OF this great truth the Western town Of
Oshkosh has just furnished striking ex-
ample. Possibly, some punctilious in
hsbitant Of that town may deny this lat
ter assertion. He cannot, however,
deny that Oshkosh is an excellent place
for things to happen Ia, and, after all,
the locality of any interesting Western
event is mere matter Of detail. There
were then, until recently, two devoted
hearts ia Oshkosh which constantly beat
as one, except in matters relating TO cats.
The owner Of the feminine heart was
passionately addicted TO cats, while her
lover abhorred thm. The pair had
reached the third and last stage OF court
ship-the period when the lover has
strong desire TO enable bis future father
in-law to econ omize in the use of kero-
kene, and wien the loved one has become
convinced that the parlor sofa Is large
enough for two. Now, lover who has
successfully passed through the earlier
peanut aud gate swinging stages, has
good reason to believe that bis future
happiness is secured. lie has no longer
to hide the real purpose OF his visits be-
hind the pretext Of seeking agricultural
information from his sweelheart's father,
aud the frank aud open way in which
her parents promptly 20 to bed at nine
O'Clock, leaving him clear field, is the
very next thing TO the formal marriage
ceremony. TO this happy condition the
Oshkosh man had attaited few weeks
since, but now the parlor, the girl, and
her reverend parent seem to him only
beautiful fragments of broken dream.
Among the cats belonging to the ex-
pectant bride of Oshkosh, was large
cat of a delicate grayish neutral turn,
and of the gender which may be delicate
ly described as Thomasculine. One
Sunday evening the young man made
bis usual professional call at s o'clock,
devoted an hour to a cheerful conversa-
ton upon the best method of grating
turnips, or some other equally fascinat-
ing agricultural topic, and bsde an aflec.
tionate good night TO the authors OF his
idols being, as they went to bed at 9.07
p. IN. Immediately thereafter the young
lady seated herself in one corner of the
sofa, and the lover, after having satisfied
himself that no wicked waste of kerosene
would ensue, sat down with the heavy
lassitude OF happy man in the unoccu-
pied corner Of the sofa. Little was Le
aware that the gray cat was calmly sleep
ing in that precise spot, but he became
rapidly convinced that such was the case.
There was wild feline shrek, aud the
young man uttering loud and apparent
iy irrelevant illusions TO ancient Gaul,
together with remarks more fiji to be Ut
tered in the presence ut dilapidated
stockings than IN that ol 40 estimable
young lady, sprang to bis feet aud rush
ed wildly about The room. That cat
knew when he had sure thing, il the
expression may be allowed, and he held
on with tenscity which would have
done credit to bull dog. Meanwhile,
the shrleks Of the young lady filed the
room, aud il was not until the rest OF the
family had rushed to the scene OF uproar
that the young man, by backing firmly
against the edge Of the open door, brush.
ed off bis tormentor, and flew TO his
lodging, where he received on the fol-
lowing morniAg letter from bic beloved
object, in which cruelty to animals aud
gross intoxication were put forward as
sufficient reasons for her withdrawal
from the engagement.
The Young man was not poor, but he
was nevertheless proud. lie did not All
swer the letter, bat be swofe solemn
oath that be would get square with That
cat. With this end IN view, be placed
himself under the tuition ofa respectable
cat belonging to the landlady, and after
course Of SIX easy lessons for Que pound
Of meat, learned to new With so admir4.
bic accent. This done, be provided him
self with meal bag aud pair Of thick
gloves, aud made il his nightly practice
to conceal himself behind the fayorile
fence OF biz gray enemy, aud to try to
allure him within reach by plain,iye aud
tender newlng. For the fret two nlghis
he mewed snlil O'Clock In The morning
without the slightest result, the gray cat
evidently suspecting that there were
trcacaery and large clubs in The air On
The third nighi, however, there occurred
The simultaneous opening Of the windows
OF The young lady aud her father, whence
issued, FIRST, orders 10 scat, and secondly,
boolIacks aud erockeFy. Most loyers
w0uld have been ssddened GA receiving
from the hands Of loved one 8 wofn-onl
sh0e Of The Oshkoshtish tonnage, espec-
iSlly IL the proIeelile BIZ HIN directly on
tho nose bat this particular yoang man,