The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1877-04-05
Nip and Tuck.

We thought, from the way he came
into the Office and slammed his cane
down on the table ID took the best
chair and spat GA TIE ,,Goye and said,
"Well, Gully, how does the old thing
work." that he was a circus agent, but
his card showed him to be modest, un-
pretending advertising agent of a Wis
consin paper. He had just come from
Chicago, he said. We said "AhP" not
because there was any particular, orig
inal brilliancy in the remark, but be-
cause that is what we generally say,
with rising accent on the final sylla-
BILE, when a man tells us he has been to
Chicago. "Yes," he said, he had been
to Chicago. "Had we man up
thereP" "No," we hadn't. "Well,"
he said, "don't send one there. Just
waste of time. I've been there near
ly three weeks and just club myself
every time think what a fool was to
throw away so much time that might
have put in somewhere else to advan-
tage."
"Didn't he do any thing in Chica-
go?" we asked, rather timidly, for we
began to see that we were in the pres
ence of Master Mind.
Naw-w-wl" he snarled in most
contemptuous tone; "hardly made ex-
penses; didn't pay salary. There three
weeks and only come away with $500
worth of ads. All cash, of course, and
that makes it little better, but didn't
pay for all that time. How much Chi
cago advertising are you carrying!"
We couldn't tell him, indeed, with
out consulting the business manager,
but we were confident that the Haack-
eye had, at inside figures, at least three
or four dollars worth of live Chicago
advertisements. We began to think
what jewel this man must be on the
business staff of daily paper. Was
he going to st. Louis? we asked.
He burst into a snort of derisive
laughter, for all the world like the OPP
position benches in Congress.
"Been there" he said, Sand amt
going back until times pick up little.
Deadest place you ever struck in your
life. Nothing doing. Just nothing.
Why, 1 was there ten days, ten whole
long days, as I'm truthful man, and
only got-let me see-I'll give you the
figures" and he pulled out his note
book and ran over the leaves and down
long columns of figures-''yes sir, was
in st. Louis ten days to an hour, and
only got 81, 227 so, and 81, 1896. 75 have
to take in trade, and only 50, 100 cash.
in-advance ads. Don't you send a man
to st. Louis il you don't want to pay
his fare home"
Which way was he going from Bur-
lington? we asked, deeply impressed.
"Oh, out along the line of the B. &
NJ" he said, "out to Omaha, and
maybe out to Lincoln and up to Des
Moines."
Snow, don't go there" we begged
him; don't go out that way at all.
1t won't pay you; we know this coun-
try, and we know you won't make a
cent on that trip"
"Why notl" he asked, defantly, and
in a rather incredulous tone of coun-
tenance.
because" we said, "the Hdwk-eye
had man out all through that country
one day last week. 1t may appear in
credible, but, sir, that man was. gone
fifteen minutes, and came back with
only s72, 900 cash ads, couple of ma
tional banks, six Nebraska farms,
Kansas cattle ranch, and the Iowa State
Treasury, and the Captain discharged
him for not making his wages. It's as
But he was gone, and we heard him
down stairs, asking the business man.
ager if he thought it was necessary to
import thoroughbred liar to edit his
yanar - H1srk e,ge