The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1877-12-08
The Romance of Sleeping Car.

The Romance Of a Sleeping Car.
1t was the Cedar Rapids sleeper. Out
side it was as dark as the inside of an
mk-bottle. In the sleeping-car people
Slept.
Or tried it.
Some of them slept like Christian men
and women, peacefully and sweetly and
quietly. . .
Others slept like demons, malignant
", hideously, fendishly, as though it
was their mission to keep everybody
else awake.
Of these, the man in lower number
three was the "boss." When it came
to a square snore, with variations, YOU
wanted to count Clover three" in.
With a full hand and a pocket full of
rocks.
We never heard anything snore like
him. 1t was the most systematic snor-
ing that was ever done, even on one of
those tournaments of snoring, q sleep
ng-car. He didn't begin as soon as the
lamps were turned down and everybody
was in bed. o no! There was more
cold-blooded diabolism in his system
than that. He waited until everybody
had had a taste of sleep, just to see how
nice and pleasant it was, and then he
broke in on their slumbers like a
winged, breathing demon, and they
never knew what peace was again that
night ~.
He started out with a terrific
Gn-r-r-rtr'
That opened every eye in the car. We
all hoped it was an accident. however,
and, trusting that he wouldn't do it
again, we all forgave him. Then he
blasted our hopes and curdled the sweet
serenity of our forgiveness by u long
drawn
"Gw-a-h-h-hahr' f#
That sounded too much like business
to be accidental. Then every head in
that sleepless sleeper was held off the
pillow for minute, waiting in breath
less suspense to hear the worst, and the
sleeper in CLOVER three went on in
long-drawn, regular cadences that in
Dictated good staying qualities.
"Gwa-a-ah! Gwa-a-a-a-h! Galway
way! Gahwahwah! Enthusiastically
Evidently it was going to last all
night, and the weary heads dropped
back on the sleeplesS pillows and the
swearing began. 1t mumbled along in
low, muttering tones, like the distant
echoes of a profane thunderstorm.
Pretty soon CLOVER three gave us a
little variation. He shot off a spiteful
"Gwookr'
Which sounded as though his nose
had got mad at him and was going to
strike. Then there was pause, and
we began to hope he had either
awakened from sleep or strangled to
death, nobody cared very particularly
which. But he disappointed everybody
with 4 cultural
Gurroochn'
Then he paused again for breath, and
when he had accumulated enough for
his purpose he resumed business with II
stentoriOuS
"Kowpfm
That nearly shot the roof off the car.
Then he went on playing such fantastic
tricks with his nose, and breathing
things that would make the immortal
gods weep, if they did but hear him.
1t seemed matter incredible, it
seemed an utter, preposterous impossi-
bility, that any human being could make
the mOnstrous, hideous noises with its
breathing machine that the fellow in
clover three" was making with his.
He ran through all the ranges of the
usual gamut, he went up and down u
very chromatic scale of snores, he ran
through intricate and fearful variations
until it seemed that his nose must be
out of joint in thousand places. All
the night and all day through he told his
story.
"Gawoh! gurrah! gu-r-r T! Kowpfi!
Gawawwah! gawah-hah! gwock! gwart!
gwah-h-h-h whoofr'
Just as the other passengers had con-
suited together how they might STAY
him, morning dawned, and Flower
number three" awoke Everybody
watched the curtain to see what manner
of man it was that made that beau
tiful sleeping car a pandemonium.
Presently the toilet was completed, the
curtains parted, and Clover number
three stood revealed.
Great heavens! ~.
1t was fair young girl, with golden
hair and timid, pleading eyes, like a
hunted fawn' s.-Burlingtoa Hawb-Eye.