The Benton record. [volume] (Benton, M.T. [Mont.]) 1875-1879, 1877-07-20

and silver, was to curb and restrain the
ambition of his citizens, to disable them
from making conquests, and in manner
to force them to confne themselves within
the narrow bounds of their own country"
The Turkish Recruiting Officer.
Prof, Theopbilus Blinks was a peripa-
tetic walker.
In other words, he was a tramp.
He was a professor of all virtues, but
his practice was exceedingly limited, ex-
eept at the bar. With that noble disregard
/ of fashion, with which every true genius IS
inspired, his costume was noted for its
extreme simplicity. It consisted of a fan
nelshirt, pair of corduroys, linen duster
stovepipe hat, and one shoe, all (which
were in the last stages of decomposition.
The professor was walking up Broadway,
''the observed of all observers" when the
following sign struck his eye, not in a
pagilistic, but q figurative sense
VOLUNTEERS FOR TURKEY.
Apply to SrUFrEM PAsHA, Second Floor
He rushed frantically up the stairs, and.
two minutes later, was in the presence of
the celebrated stuffem Pasha, who had
covered himself with glory at the battle of
Wjknrsvich. A little man, speaking En-
glish with French accent, rose to receive
him. He proved to be the interpreter.
Blinks opened the ball as follows:
"Good-morning, boss. Is this the Turk
ey free lunch establishment?7
"Yes, sare. replied the interpreter, a
little puzzled, but catching the word
Turkey"
"Well, trot her out" said Blnks. "I
haven't had a square meal for week.
Been living on sawdust and Eastwood
chips till my stomach cries for reform. I
can eat more turkey than any galoot be
tween here and Frisco" And, with the
back of his hand, he hastily wiped off the
tobacco juice which was trickling down his
chin.
"sare," interposea the interpreter, Il
comprehend notn
.'You don't, eh ?" replied Blinks. "Why,
| tell ,you am hungrier than Minnesota
ID can pof ne,4~: J : Il
turkey of yours in seven minutes by the
watch. Bring on that noble bird. /
haven't tasted one since last Thanksgi wing,
W aen presided at General o 'Leary's fare.
well banquet" And he smiled spas
"sare, You mecstake. zis is not re
hotel, but ze reeruit-ofees.
'.Well," rejoined Blinks, don't | say
my system needs recruiting, stranger? I've
got a eastiron constitution, but you can't
expect man to live by faith Tor basswood
ehips) alone. Once more, I say, produce
he fowl, and I'll show you some foul play
hat will make Boueicault turn green with
.nvy."
mo, nc" broke in the interpreter, I'VE
Wish men to fight
"Ah! is it even thus Once more unto
he breach, dear friends.f' said Blinks,
aking off his coat, and hanging it up on
he floor. I'm the words of the prophet
samuel, Here l amn Will you have the
.indness to raise that lower sash, and
tate whether you wonid prefer to go out
eadfrst or sideHays7"
"No-o.o, you comprehend not said the
larmed .Frcnchman=; I'VE hire men to
ght in Turkey
20, Isee. Well, youdon' seem to be
DING very Russian business. What
Inducements can you offer to a gentleman
'ho bas had long and valuable experience
! the art of war ?'' Blinks assumed the !
ttitude Of Napoleon at Austerlitz, but the
nterpreter did not seem to be at all i'm 7
ressed.
He now began to question Blinks, who J
aA gEs uIASu HIS codl.
"Did you effer leefin Tarkeyl'
"Dil | have eleven turkeys? Yes, / !
ad sixteen turkeys. two geese, and a pig, :
ne day when was leading 'sherman's
arch to the sea- You see, I commanded
le noble army ofbummers, and I've been 9 9
raging ever since 3
No, monsieur; ! near, did you effer
efia Turkey .
No, I never left any behind. Always :
eaned out the roost.' u
The Frenchman tried it once more.
"Haf you reside in Turkey?' Il
f'No bat I've been in Greece replied $
links. a
@Ab, gou haf been in Greece = b
Yes, slePtin q soap factory night be-
re last. Look at mr. elothes-tbey're
easy yet.
"Ah, monsieur jasts. But tell me, are j,
u sound in body 7, :
4 should say 50. Why, stranger tele. : :
ones are noting compared with me-