Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1877-08-23
FacetiOus Facts.

Last words OF New Ork Sulcide:-
Farewell, dear Mr.. Didier; / vii
just go and see what is going on il
the other world.' ifE f1
@Musing on the infinite, eh?" said &
facetious chap to a melancholy indi.
vidual who was walking along the
roadside with bowed head and seri-
Gus countenance. well, yes; same
thing-thinking OF my debts" ac
Scientific research is said to dem
onstrate that cold victuals are more
healthful than the hot, and yet
we wonder at the staying powers Of
tramps. fI sat AaE 1aiic
A contemporary says Of a very
prominent militia general that "his
sword was never drawn but once
and then N rattle" @
Young Hodge Gn expectation Of a
copper)-"Oi'll open the gate" Young
lady on horseback -"You are very
civil lad. You don't come from these
parts?" Young Hodge mot getting
the penny)-"Yow're liar. ] dew!'
A Sunday school teacher in Albion,
N. Y, asked her class the question
"What did Simon say?" Thumbs
up!' answered the children in chorus
For the small sum OF twenty five
cents, says the Worcester Press, you
can hire at almost any seaside re-
sort a bathing suit that will make the
sad-eyed little fishes stand on their
bald heads and weep. a-acm sd ~
A Louisiana swamp doctor married
a widow some time ago and com.
mitted suicide. six weeks afterward
They can't account for his singular
conduct. unless it was that, being
morbidly fastidous, he didn't like the
cut of the first husbands clothes. "a
Oneof the disadvantages Of sere-
nading these nights, when the win
dowsmust be kept open, is just as
singers have got down to pianissimo,
the party serenaded may startle the
harmony of the occasion by suddenly
awaking and, with kick at the bed
post, cry out: aI 10 wish these con-
founded things wouldn't bite So"
An old darky fishing on a wharf at
Galveston was heard talking TO the
fish he saw swimming around his
line in this fashion :~Giye me bite,
honey; dc children am crying down
to my house, and I tell you its fish or
nothing in dat establishment"
If Rogers, the sculptor, had only
been able to catch and translate into
marble the nose and facial expression
of young man. as he .chalIzs the
billiard cue and calculates a, difficult
shot, he would not have looked on
the Greek SlayeT as his most glori-
Gus work.
Mamma said little boy, lis our
old hen going to be sent away for the
guess my son.
she replied; Sbut whyido you ask the
question?r, Because 1 heard pa tell
our new hired girl that they would
have such a sweet time when he sent
his old hen away for the summer
Col. Sellers, otherwise 4. J. Ray
mond. passed the treasury depart
ment ia Washington the other day,
and said mildly, @there's millions in
itl' and Immediately added. reflect
lively. "there's millions afterit.vI
Inquisitive School. Board officer to
Hibernian parent WAS your boy
born IN Glascae?" NO, sor; an /
hope he-neyerWill be- -
IS A company has been formed in the
East to cover with Eugs advertise
ments the prominences OF the. West
II so, there will never again be sue h
a golden opportunity for young men
to make money by renting their shirt
collars for sign boards.
A Mississippi farmer found a new
born infant on his doorstep the other
morning, labeled, samuel J. TiIden.
He is convinced that there has been
fraud somewhere.
Gail Hamilton once taught school
at Mauchb Chunk, Pennsyivania. n A
man 50 years old tells this story, and
shows ridges in proof of it, which he
earries'toithis day. gfsn. s.siA4ss -
It's enough to bring tesirs 70 the
eyes of a potato to- see a Burlington
nun on "lodge night brace himself
up against the Office door and try to
open a postal card to see what Is In II
and who it's from sat - sEis esis
Judge (nndecidedly):: sHumphl
the court must be clear on the point
brothers Jenkins" Anxious usher:
"Clear the court.v ds reprimanded
Tor excess ofazeaD. Y 1s
p New York Nail: sour New York
Water Works. proudly remarks a
.cohtemporarya From which 1t may
be inferred that the old water didn't
work. - x1i sssblhg..a juet !.
Ha,ckehe: man out on West
Hill was grievously tormcntei with a
| thomas cat. And he determined to
slay the same. So he caught the
cat, put 1t in a bucket, covered II
with a board, intending to sit down
on it,, intending to fiji the bucket
With water, and thus drown the {. @.
But as he sat down the actise' prison
er pushed away the board.'a and when
the man arose and sainterediinto the
7 axi4lrx-l A. g l-z<.x "a