The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-02-24
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

the photographs Of pair OF twihs' ino o'ue
ribbon was voted him by acclamatioh'
A Rhode Island man has written lecture Ell
titled when Shall Marry" It's a lhe "orh
fodds the Globe DenocraD but SO far as we are
able to see. holds to the old opinion that after
all there is nothing better than woman for a
man to marry.
This from the OH City Derrak, is probably too
good to be true:
Twas young printers devil who asked for
kiss,
But She quickly replied, did this pert little miss
"You look inky and black, tho your hc"u may
be level, .
But ri never consent to be kissed by the devil"
Years psssed, and the miss became an old maid
with frizZes and curls, false teeth and poinade.
Then sadly she sought to recall the old issue.
But the printea replied 1.-THE devil wont KISS
you"
Plain common sense is about as good protec
ton as u young woman can have In this wicked
world II she lacks this, pug nose and carroty
red hair will answer tolerably well.-St Louis
Repub.
The Detroit Free Press police reporter grows
poetic:
Hard was he up:
And, in the hardness Of his upness,
Stole nam.
Down on him swooped,
And swOoping, up him scooped
The miniOn OF the law.
While the following comes floating, like other
cream, on the surface Of our exchanges, it had
almost literal counterpart In this city within
month
Servant: al suppose ma'am, shall not have
70 wait on the table" Lady: "Oh, no! want
ma'am |
shall not have to make the beds?' Lady: (sur-
prIsed but cOmpOscdly): Certainly not" Ser
want thinking the place will suin: And
suppose, ma'aIn, / shall not be expected to an
swer the door, Lady: "Of course not. The
fact is / wnnt a servant TO look at! but l don't
think you will suit"
The newspapers seem to be making an unccc-
essary fuss because the Honorable Lyman Trum-
bull and Ex-Governor Palmer attended a niger
ball in New Orleans last fall. If they paid their
bills and behaved themselves, and the niggers
made no complaint, what have newspapers got
to do with 1t any way? Isn't the negro a man
and q brother'
1t is an old practice in Cambridgeshrc Eng
land, villages TO sprinkle with chaf the door
step of house belonging TO man suspected
of beating his wife. chat being the result OF
thrsshlng.
Considerable kicking is being done by some OF
our merchants because some OF the Dry Goods
stores keep open after seven o'clock-the time
agreed upon to close.-Aurord Ne,os
The effects OF hard kicking, it is said, can be
greatly amelioralcd by having the seat OF tn,
pants lined with boiler iron.
The Joliet Record thus eXhorteth
Pump, brothers. pump with care,
Pump those bulldOged witnesses there
Pump old j. Madison who's SO devilish sly
For you'll never get the bottom facts till old
Wells runs dry.
slgnor Blitz, the noted wizard man, died in
Philadelphia, a few days since. His change tc
another world was no scight- 0f. hand trick, bu
stern realty.-E1.
But as there were "A OF them, does the death
Of one signor Blitz dispose of all OF themg
All kings claim to be such by the grace o
God; but when Rutherford B. Hayes Is inaugu
rated as President by fraud IL must be by the
grace OF the other fellow.
Every heart knows its own sadness best, ant
will not betray It, You can't always tell from
The expression of u womans face when whale
bone is sticking into her.
II it had only been game Of seven.up for thu
Presidency, things would not have been 80 bad
but 1t is game Of eight to seven up.
1t has been decided that II man can legall
Kiss the hired girl, If he can prove that he mis-
teok her for his wife, but bow shall that prof
the man when he finds himself with only on
eye, and no hair on his head.
After the legislative committee that visi.e,
he iuaann @ yIum NJ lott xphi had "a.
pcrintendent and recommended an appropra
ton Of s257OO0 to run the institution for tn
next year, the Elgin watch factory refuse,
admittancc TO The committee to their works
holding that il was unsafe TO admit gentry o
that sort.
The negro here mentioned was cydcntl
trained in the Louisiana school OF Wells an
Casanaye:
negro WAS put on the stand US a witness
aid the Judge inquired II lie understood tn
nature OF an oath. For certain, boss" said tn
citizen, "if swear 10 a lie, must stick to him
The church Of the Incarnation in New Yor
City has big law suit on its hands for discharg
ing its choir leader, one Schcnck, noted auC
tioneer. The church claim that his 'naf-naf-n'a
isn't 'alf as musical projected from the choi
loft as from the auctioneers stand
Logan, says the TiaioN Washington spccia
walked the floor with his hands in his pocket
which is really good news, for Logan's habit la
been TO put 'em elsewhere.
At Amboy local club Of amateur dramatst
gave an entertainment 20 raise money 10 pu
chase suitable drapery to cover nude statu
Of the goddess Of liberty tha: had scandalizc
her public library hall.
People living near the West depot are n
longer troubled with the bad odor from the ga
works-there IS something else down there tia
is twice as loud.-.AureTd Neirs.
This is supposed to refer to the a!ycnt Of
Hawkins sprout
An Iowa woman tried To cowhide an odito
He was a big fellow and taking her under Ri