The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-03-03
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

seryatiOn Of the country can De eQuahy "'''A'
between the creator OF President Hayes IN 'he
pcnitentiary and the creature of James Madison
Wells in the White House"
The Pittsburg Post opens the food gate ana
stands back TO see radcalism pour ITS cont'me.
lyupon the memory of Thomas Jefferson for
squsndering sl5,OOO0oo in the purchase OF
Louisiana, when, by waiting seventy three years,
it could have been bought OF j. Madison Wells
for sl,O0O0O0.
They had baby show in Chicago last week
Although some twenty tempting prizes were Of
fcrrcd. but 212 little chaps were placed on cx
hibitien. The paucity Of the number is account
ed for by the fact that by the rules none but
legitimate children were eligible. +-
At the grand Turner bal-masquc in Joliet last
week the prizes for the mos. hideous countc.
nances were taken by jim Goodspeed, OF the he
publican, and Styx, OF the Ft,nir. They went
without masks-they didn't need any. As Styx
confesses, ave looked enough like two rogucs
aud fools without them"
Chow are We to reach the pockets Of the peo-
Pile ~ is the leading question asked by the man.
ayers OF the Boston Moody revival. Our Sug-
gestion is, that II all other means fail, few re
publican post.masters and custom house officers
might be employed on commission.
Had Cazeneuve lived 900 years ago he could
have performed miracles" and called himself n
son OF God The people would not have doubt.
ed him.-Aurora Nears.
Don't you fool yourself. They had scoundres
1900 years ago quite as keen and ruthless as
any OF to-day Even Joe Bradey's court scarce.
ly eQualed In impudent rascality that over which
P. Plate presided. -
Washington wit says the fact is nov recog-
nized that Judge Lawrence, Of Ohio is the abcst
lawyer OF the House, because he has admitted
i, himself. Concessions OF this description are
the only ones that can be wrung from the aver
age lawyer except by due process Of law.
The editor 81 the Oil City (Pa) Derrick doubt
less speaks from sad experience in saying, "When
man without cash or credit attempts to leave
hotel ana lowers his yaise out Of back win
dow by means Of a rope, it makes charity seem
cold to hear the voice OF the landlord below
yelling up: "All right I've go, the valse; let
go the rope"
California has just escaped a disastrous
draught. The usual winter rains were so long
delayed that they finally resorted to the Indian
custom Of building fires from wood Of trees that
had been struck by lightning. That brought the
showers, OF course.
On Tuesday last Rutherford B. Hayes, With
the fifteen stolen votes buttoned safely in his
pocket, presided at o religious meeting in Gin
cinnati, and made brief speech urging Chris.
tan men and women to MD in the suppression
Of falsehood and crime.
There's queer case Of twins reported a,
Ackley, Iowa: While one OF these twins was
born on the 18th of December, 1876, the other
postponed his appearance until the lat Of Feb.
ruary, 1877, 1t is a bona tide case, and the doc.
tors Of the town are nearly insane over it.
Vermont agricultural journal says there are
fifteen women in the nclghborhood of its Office
who can lift barrel Of potatoes into wagon.
We don't call that much Of lift for fifteen
women
We suggest this coupet from Butler us q
motto for the Electoral Commission:
as not the High Court OF Justice sworn
TO Judge that law that serves their turn"
New maple sugar has appeared IN the market.
II is now the right season for thrifty grocery.
men TO boil down the rInsings OF old molasses
barrels and 10y a little mixture with the genuine
article food the market with little cakes Of maple
sugar ut 8 cents apiece.
Do you understand the nature Of an OATH?
juryman was asked in ST. Louis courtroom.
"Of course lido" was the reply DO you mis-
take me for member Of the electoral commits
SONY
The Herald says a Jersey City goat chcws TO-
baccO. Sad. Only the third week of the new
year.-F. Y. Graphic.
Let us do all we can for the poor, the rich can
be relieved by almost anybody that's sharp
enough Washington Nation.
Garfield has sued the Cincinnati Enquirer for
charging him with having attended a quadroon
ball in New Orleans. The Enquirer laughs at it,
but will it laugh when the quadroons bring their
suit for libel in stating that characters like Gar
field were admitted to the ball:
A Detroit restaurant keeper hangs out sign
Of Stree chops" end when the Old loafers come
around lac shows them IN AK and woodpilc.
There is no position in this life more nm.
healthy than that OF being the oldest Free.
mason" lie is dying pretty much ali the time,
Of late.
Brooklyn girl was asked by q very thin gen.
teman If She could learn 10 love him. III
might il you was stuffed" was the laughing
reply.
Mr.. Talmage, the Brooklyn sens ational preach.
er, has preached this winter about lawyers, doc.
tors, theatres, cards, chess and checkers, and his
congregation is In hopes that II he lives long
enough he will yet preach about religion.
Mrs. Oliver says that Il was on The sofa tha:
Simon Cameron promised 10 marry her and be.
come the father OF her children. sofa aud no
father" says Simon.-AuT0rd Nors.
This is the way in which a Chinese Ambassa-
dor recently confirmed his oath in London
court. He broke cup, kneeled aud rected the
following formula, speaking after the interprc.
ter, DIR. Mccartney: Il will speak the truth, the
whole truth and nothing but the truth; the cup
is broken, and II speak not tue truth, may my