The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1877-08-23
Ali Sorts og Paragraphs.

Is
The party majority there ranges from
10000 TO $4,000.
"A Baltimore belle, when told by the
waiter that they had no gooseberries, ex-
claimed, "What has happened to the
goosc?" The waiter wilted.
"Are these soaps all one scent?" in
quired lady of juvenile salesman.
no, nla'am, they arc al ton cent?" re-
piled the innocent youngster.
= The fashionable male shirt collar is
gradually decreasing in height. A young
man can now pass under telegraph
wire withou; duckirg lis head.
: Why is pretty girl like a locomo-
tive engine? Because BE sends off the
sparks, transport the mails, has train
following her, and passes over the plains
= 1t is getting TO be quite the thing in
some parts Of this glorious republic, and
particularly down in Arkansas for men
TO go around with one ear. 1t isn't al.
ways safe to ask them how they lost the
other.
= 1t may be well enough to whip a
boy when he needs it, but it is q waste of
time and talent 10 undertake to con-
vince him that you intend that thrash
ing for anything but your own amuse-
ment.
1T is standing rule in my church."
said one clergyman to another, "for the
sexton to wake up any man that he sees
asleep" II think," replied the othe,
that it would be better for the sexton
whenever man goes to sleep under your
preach 'g, to wake you up"
printer and asked the price of wedding
cards, and said that he had been intro.
duced to handsome girl the night before
who was worth some money, and thought
he would look around to see how much
the wedding fxings would cost before
proposing.
"A German lost his wife, and the
next week married again, and his new
wife asked him to take her out riding.
He felt indignant that she should have
no more respect than that for his de-
ceased wife, and said: "You dink ride
out nit another woman so soon after the
death Of mine frou."
= An old writer says: 81 have seen
women 80 delicate that they were afraid
to ride, for fear of the horse running
away; afraid to sail, for fear the boat
might be upset afraid to walk, for fear
they might fall but 1 have never seen
one afraid to be married, which is far
more riskful than all the others put to-
gether."
- A little three-year- old girl, whose
father did not use razor, was recently,
while visiting at neighbor's, greatly in
terested in the operation of shaving,
which tho head of the house was perform
ing. After watching inteutly for few
minutes, she said, "Mr. A., what do you
do that for? My papa don't wash his
face with little broom and wipe it with
knife"
= Senator David Davis, of Illinois.
late of the Supreme Court, is seriously
i'll !; and his reported disease is cancer in
the stomach, threatening, at least, the
speedy end of his personal activity and
public usefulness. His recent access to
the Senate was an occasion for nationa!
congratulation ; the Limitation Of his ac-
tive service there, either in time or quail
ity, will be great public misfortune.
= a physician recently took a couple
of girls to ride with him. They visited
one of the cemeteries, and while looking
at the various monuments the doctor re-
mar hed tiia: he knew one person buried
in the lot very we'll, he having been one
OF his patients. One OF the little girls,
looking around, waved her hand toward
the other monuments and inaocently in
quired, "And were all those your pa
ticnts, tool
= Two young ladies were singing a
duet in concert room. q stranger, who
had heard better performance, turned to
his neighbor, saying: "Does not the
lady in white sing wretchedly 2" "Ex-
cuse me, sir" replied he, II scarcely feel
at liberty 10 express my sentiments; she
is my sister" ~ beg your pardon, SIR"
answered he in much confusion, ~ meant
the lady in blue" "You are perfectly
right there" replied the neighbor; II
have often sold her 30 myself; she is my
wife,"
= One of the most distressing evil
dences of hard times is to be found in the
fact that the Industrious and frugal work.
ing classes of the larger cities are contin-
ually drawing on the little amounts thev
have gradually accumulated and depos-
tied in the savings banks. It appears
that the experience of these banks is very
much the same over the country. The
deserving 6epositorB have almost stopped
with their credits, being forced to draw
out NOT only the Interest. but frequently
the principal oFshe:r earniogs.
= The engineers of the United States
army, than whom iiiere arc no more oou,-
|Qetent judges of matters connected with
their vocation, expressed moro disfavor
of Capt. Eads' plan, when it was first dis
cussed, Of e. ietty system for opening a
channel through the South Pass of the
Mississippi than any other class of peo.
pie IN the country. It is therefore graft
flying to learn that having inspected the
work they have fled report in which
they frankly admit the success of tho
protector. Originally opposed to the
scheme, they have made up their verdict
with great delibevation, aud their conclu-
sion under such circumstances in its
favor enhances the value of their Gu.
dorsement. The Importance of the
trade and commerce Of the whole coun.
try of this enterprise cannot be overesti-
mated,