Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1877-10-25
PARAGRAPHICALlTIES.

fTEVy,
The Keely motor stock is original 1t is
never quoted. -Picayune.
There isn't vegetable that can ketchup
with the tomatoe- Worcester Press.
THE umbilical hyphen unites the two Re-
publican dailies of Detroit and the Tribune
Post is the result
The Atlanta, Georgia, Republican State
Committee have disbanded Dt twelve men,
bers present ten voted aye.
The number of voters in Philadelphia VIII
have registered this year is 1S0,3 1923, decrease
of $500 from last year.
Perhaps the reason why the Turks can't
get hold of the Balkan passes is that the pass
es are not transferable. Neacs.
''Grandma, why don't you keep servant
any longer?" ''Well, you see. my child, I'm
getting old now, and can't take care of one
as used to, you know. ''-E1change.
A Newport man named his race horse Dead
head. The result was that all the other horses
''passed" him.-Boston Commercial BsaIdtis
Science is discussing the question, "What
will become of the last man?" We know.
He'll get left. Burlington Haackeye.
WHAT inspired Hayes to speak of ''the
great industries of the South was water
melon dug g-out used as ferry boat on one of
the Georgia rivers.
s'There is no man in this country, accord
ing to his story, but has lost from five-hun-
dred to one thousand umbrellas" HISTORY
cal fact Worcester Press.
The remains OF General Custer were bur-
led at West Point on the the 10th inst. I'm
posing funeral services, in which the military
hOrQ q nrOrninpnt mart took Mace
"a Militiaman' writes to inquire what is
divine service. Why, at ''prayed rest,' we
should say Commercial Aduertiser.
A correspondent wants to know how an
oyster can get fresh air when its shell is closed
tight? Why, the air passes in bi-valves, OF
course. Ask US something harder Whate-
hall Times.
PONTIAC, Michigan, glories in the first
Bourbon paper started in that State IN ten
years. In his salutatory the editor says:
''Although this paper will be Democratic, it
will not be unfit for children to read"
''How dreadful is this defiance OF law and
robbery of innocent people, said, with
sigh of indignation, the Director OF an ex-
ploded savings bank, as he read of band of
Western railroad robbers having stopped a
train and plundered the passengers.--Neso
York World.
A young lady, on Hoyne avenue, asked her
young man why he called her his Ultra, and
he courteously replied it was Latin quota
ton. ''This,' said he, sis my knee, and
when I add you to it have my knee, plus
Ultra, which is Latin for 4 don't want any
thing more on my knee Don't you see, my
darling?" She said she did, Chicago 117-
bune.
THE New York Graphic thinks ex-Presi-
dent Grants free criticism upon his old ene-
mics will do no harm. AS to charges against
Mr.. Sumner, the Graphic says: ''It is easily
conceivable that Charles Sumner, as honest
man as ever lived, in his passionate desire to
make a point, and in the full swing OF his
feelings, should make statements which were
anything but judicial in their fairness or &C.
curacy."
SPRINGFIELD (Mass.) girls are out with
new wrinkle. They ask their gentlemen
friends to give them ten cent pieces which
have been ground smooth on one side and
adorned with the gentleman's monogram, at
the giver's expense. These coins the tair
beggars wear about their necks in strings as
the Egyptian and Turkish women do, the one
with the longest string being an object OF
envious congratulation.
CHARLES Fox FREDERICK ADAM, third Sec
retary of the British Legation at Washing
ton. is to marry the daughter of Dr. Palmer,
Of the United States navy, in the fall, and
will be the third member of the British Le-
CATION who has married at Washington within
a few years. Mr.. Howard married daugh-
ter of the banker, George Riggs, and VIM.
Oswald Charlton, the eldest son of one of
England's oldest families, and the heir to a
very large property in Northumberland, mar
ried Miss Campbell.
He was graduate of Harvard, and he got
position on one of the Philadelphia daiIies
last week. ''Cut that stuff of yours down,
said the city editor, as the new man came in
with column where stick only was required.
s'Do you mean judicious elimination of the
superfluous phraseology?" mildly returned
the Harvard man. 'No! Boil it down."
thundered the city editor. The new man is
gone now-gone back to Boston, He says
there amt ''cultuah" enough in Philadelphia.
Philadelphia Press.
TWELVE years ago, James Shaw married
Hattie Fox, at Rockton, Wis. They did not
agree and were divorced. Then Hattie mar
ried Marshall Mellin, and had baby, and
then separated from No. 2. Shaw went to
Chicago and engaged in business, prospered
and married. Last winter Shaw's wife No.
2 died. The old love was strong, and Shaw
returned to Rockton and remarked the wife
of his youth.
Alex. Wands, formerly Lieutenant Colonel
of the 10th IN. W regiment, was what is
termed fast man, and his wife, being salts
fed of his infdelity, procured a divorce from
him. Being free she obtained the position of !
matron in the Middletown IN. ~ Insane
Asylum. Here Joseph w. Harper. one of
the firm of Harper s. Bros met her, finally