Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1877-12-22
Tho Ignorant Cuss.
Is you the editor ?"

small gamins with dirty faces, who had en-
tered the sanctum and stood nervously twitch-
ing their ragged caps before him.
{" Yes, sir. What DO you wint?"
"Well, you see, the Irish Boys and the
Silver Stars had game of ball to-day, and
we kinder thought as we'd like to have it pub
lished."
"Is that really so? l knew these two
crack clubs were going to play, but thought
it was next week To which club do you be-
long,"
I'VE belong to the Silver Stars I'm
ketcher and he's shortstop. And we walked
them fellers, didn't we, Bill?" "You bet" re-
sponted Bill "Why didn't you say SO be-
fore The Irish Boys is a good enough club,
but by Jove, give ME the Silver Stars Why,
I'm delighted to meet both of you. and the
editor rose up. shook both of them warmly by
the hands, and yelled for the printers devil to
bring the gentlemen ch,irs.
The two redoubtal!e Silver Stars looked at
each other very much perplexed. and seemed
at a loss whether to sit down or to dash out Of
the Office Finally they adopted the former
plan, and pulling their chairs near the door,
so as to be ready to dart out at the first sign
Of hostilties. sat suspiciously cycling the edi-
tor, who entrenched himself behind a mass Of
paper, pencil in hand. Now, then, tell me
all about the game, and III write it down"
Well, the Irish Boys they was bragein'
they could beat US, and we said we had TWEEN
ty-iye cents that they couldn't. We played
'em and give 'em six goose eggs"
40 now, boys" said the. editor, don't
tell any lies. 1t is wrong to lie. Where
could you get goose eggs this time Of the year 2
The catcher aud the shoristop Of the Silver
Stars looked at the editor in amazement, and
then seemed to he mentally deciding that he
was 40 Internal idiot.
"We mean to say" continued the catcher
of the Silver Stars, who was first to recover
from the shock to which he had been subject
ed, that we whitewashed EN-"
90, see" said the editor. with sudden
burst Of intelligence; "you put whitewash
over them until they looked like goose eggs.
BY Jove, that was good idea"
mo" said the catcher Of the Silver Stars,
with rising ire, eve skunked em, you know
--skunked EN-"
"Skunked 'em-wbat do you mean by
that?"
ave Chcagoed 'em-giv 'em no runs"
40, now | sec" said the editor, almost
bursting into a roar Of laughter at the look OF
intense relief which came over the face Of the
two Silver Stars "Go right on"
1--WE got right on ter the balls Of the pitch
or of the Irish Boys in the last innins, aud sc
pounded the life out Of him"
Hold on" said the editor, rapidly writing
"The Silver Stars stood on the ball in the last
inning, and almost killed the pitcher Of the
Irish Boys when be tried to get it.
For two whole minutes the Silver Stars &c
gardcd each other in spcechess astonishment,
then the shortstop pityingly asked:
Mister, diI you ever play base ball ?"
" Very little" said the editor, making her
cuean efforts to keep his face straight. "but
III scratch this ou, if it is no, all right"
Course it isn't right We mean to say
that we hit his balls easy we knocked 'em
hard. hit him for three bags, and made
hjme run"
" You did ?" said the editor, dashins off at
tremendous rate on the paper. THE catch
er Of the Silver Stars hi, three bags with
ball, aud made home run"
This was too much. The Silver Stars got
up and unanimously concluded that they must
90.
what is your hurry ?" asked the editor,
again shaking their hands warmly; stay
little while longer. If you can't, come up
this afternoon and bring all your friends with
you-glad to gee you at any time"
The catcher Of the Silver Stars blew bis
nose, wiped it on the cuff Of bis coat. and led
the way down stairs in deep thought.
At the bottom of the first fight his feelings
could no longer control themselves
Bill" mut,ered he, "if that fellow amt
the gnorantest cusS ever saw, Why yer can
jest shoot me-"
yes" replied Bill; "but he's awful friend
Iy. amt he?"