Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1877-03-30
Glcanings.

The orgao grinders life is filed with
he most turn realities.
What is bookkeeping? Forgetting to
'eturn borrowed volumes
After blowing, the farmer divides his
+orces into narrowing details.
A SINFUL Rochester girl acknowledges
that she goes to church on purpose to
dirt.
With but one exception every railway
official on the Pennsylvania Road has
risen from the ranks.
Look out for the riaderpest It has ap-
peared in Germany and is headed this
way. Take ir your COW.
Men talk about the idle wind, but the
wind is always busy, and, like a cheerful
farmer, whistles at its work,
Mrs. Pari!ngton says that Ike has
bolght horse so spirituous that he al
ways goes off in Il decanter.
"That point is not we'll taken" as the
country schoolmaster observed when he
sat down on a pin.
A New York policeman shot a: mad
log and hit man in the neck. Then
the man was mad.
An exchange says that condensed milk
is ''pure milk with the water pressed out"
Is there no single cell in all the poets
heart for chalk,
A New York barber gives man a
shave, cigar, box OF tooth picks and
IA shine for twelve cents, and moreover,
asks him to call again.
What is the difference between pyrox-
line and truant SC 'ool hoy caught rabbit
huntingy One Is gun cottol tuj the 9TH
er is caught cunning.
A woman is very much like kettle if
yul cumr to think of it. She sings away
50 pleasant, then she stops Ind, Ind 'ss!..ep-
lou least expect it, she boil- over
Every man is, i'll sense. three different
men. In the first place inc is the man he
thinks himself 10 DE; in the second place
.ic is the n IN other persons think him to
he; and finally, h. is the man that he
really is
The New Orleans Tt "e insists that it
Is better for ,nsn t" g, 10 Texas a;id he
.,uag for horse stealing than to live In
Connecticut md have a fat office
Many d,mt,rs contend that the bite of
log will Oitel Cause HI drophohia, wheth-
er the canine he mad or not 1t is better
not 10 get bitten by dog NJ all
The proprietor of line of stages in New
York has adopted the picture of whale
.ss his Business embl;m. He says that
that fish was the first Stay-Jonah men
toned in history.
Doctors say that out of twenty men
shampooed by BARRIERS, at any season Of
the year, fifteen will catch cold and at
least two will die OF pneumonia. Read
this to the barber who says You have lots
of dandrutf
Have you blue counterpane on your
bed now, at nights:-Ec. A blue-eyed
wife is more healthy. A blue counter
pane won't get up first in the morning to
make the fire and 60 to market.-Norrss-
fa,cn Herald
II never 60 to church." said country
tradesman to his clergyman. II always
spend Sunday in settling accounts"
"You will find, sir" said the clergyman,
"tlla, the day of judgment. will be spent
in the same way"
Rumor has it that Midhat Pasha used
to get drunk occasionally. The Sultan
was finally obliged to say to him: You
don't do rs you Otto man: your dePorte-
ment is odious, and herewith give you
the grand bounce"
l. is claimed that if you cut of the
spray of hlac-bush and put it into hot
water so us to force it, there will be 3 :
perfect bloom. Which statement proves
that the agricultural editor will lilac any
other writer.
She said it was 4 very bright idea. He
said he knew brighter one, and when
she asked what it WAS, he answered.
Your eye, desr!" There was silence
the rim Of his car and wept.
81 never can enjoy poetry when I'm
cookin' " said an old lady; hut when
step out to feed the hogs, and hist my
self on the fence and throw my soul into
u few lines of 'Cap'n Jinks. it does seem
rs if this ailth was made to live On, after
all"
You never hear woman sing I'm
growing old" American women never
grow old. They are OH intimate terms
with Time, and that susceptible veteran
appears to find their society SO agreeable
that he never moves fast enough to get
out of their company
A New York lecturer on health, ridi-
c lies the Ir.h mite system. He recon-
mends less starch and more masiication,
less tea and more milk He said hran
bread I'd killed nearly al of his family.
aud rcnlered twenty Ave years of his
own lille miserable before he discarded It,
4 new dance has been introduced into
PARIS 1, ia call,d The Boston
Though not described 1t is presu.nable
that II Is one step forw ard and hitch eye
glass, two steps back and repeat, nose up
toes ~, all hands around and waltz down
stairs to u lunch of cold beans
Sensitive ears in Philadelphia are re-
belling against the clangor of church
bells The alleged noisy nuisance is he
ing fought in the courts. and, in the nli6sI
of the strife, an itinerant band of musi-
clans has been employed by the sntibell
people To play in front of tie churches
during Sunday services.
The Chicago Ar n says that Ger.
tain Boston deacon formed his Sunday
school in line and marched them along
the aisles, himself in front, singing
Hold the Fort" The CONSERVATION
which seized all parties at the second
stanza.
See the mighty host advancing.
Satan leading on"
can be better imagined than described.
Punch has worked up at length ''the
teatraylology" Of Jakkeriisnk,llern," An
art.poem libretto. with q Good Deal OF
Cupsn Sorcery in it, Accompanied by
Some Indication of the Glorious Uncon-
vcrsational Music OF the Future"
Chinese Free Aasonry:-A Chiusmau
thus explained to q reporter the object Of
the Celestial order Of Free Masonry:
One Chinymsn-hc bsd-steal-he BE-
long-put him out. S'pose gocd-work.
no steal-he sick-we pay; he die, We
catchee box and put him I'M"
Oil City (Ps) Derri.k: When man
without cash or credit attempts to leave
hotel, and lowers his valise out of back