The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1877-12-19


ster is slid OUT Of her hands with bis
face wasted and hair eombed, his
clothing in ship shape order, and a
$40 chrome under his arm This all \
comes from knowing how. With a
man il is different. He makes elab- /
orate preparations and puts on the I
cir of one who is getting al eighty I
four gun ship ready f0c two years
cruise. He collects the youngsters I
duds together in a heap, gathering
them up from pretty much all over
the house, and after great deal of
ba wiling for this, and sharp swapping
inquiry for thar, and an unlimited
amount OF getting down on his knees
aud looking under the furniture for
the other (all Of which cDmes from
his having undressed the child the
night before) be at length sits re-
signedly down in chair and with a
feeble attempt at goodnature says:
Come, Freddie, come 10 papa, and
have your eoses on"
The child, who is just then travel
ing around in his night-dress, and
playing with damp towel and stove
wrench, makes bee line for the door,
full Of desire TO escape into the next
room.
Come, Freddie, come TO papa, like
a good boy" says the father, with
brave effort at patience
The child Keeps on its course.
Fred -
This sounds so much like business
that the youngsler stJps, turns and
ackIng slowly np 10 the now stern
browed parent, gradually gets with
IN rescn, when Il sudden grab of his
arm brings MIN into position where
the damp towel slaps around on the
fathers clean shirt front, and the
stove wrench pumps solldly down on
his foot.
Immortal Julius ~ he screams in
agony nursing his foot with one
hand and shaking The poor innocent
with the other whereupOn the iuno-
cent sets up an accompanying yell.
A voice from below, where the
wife and mother Is busted In getting
, breakfast, j0Ins in The cnOrus.
"Ulmstead Molieson, what on earth
are you doing u that child :"
"On, you be darned :" gUes back
the quick reply, in short, ugly, des-
perate growl Inat sllenees all further
inquiry.
Then the father after rubbing his
!, foot and groaning while, squares
the child around and begins the pro
cess Of dressing him, winch Is most
ly made up OF dreadful struggles be-
Y tween clumsy fingers and smooth
porcelain buttons, general mispla
o eing ot garments nind--1de before, up
D side down, searches after the missing
articles, ana talk like the following
: Turn arounai''
, Stand sull :"
Hold your arm up"
"Inuuder and nghtning CAM
r you lei things be ?"
9 stop reaching :"
up say J"
Cant you keep still?n
"W nere's that other skirt :"
"Snut up.'
e "Let go."
IL Blast tnat button :"
"Now, where IN the blazes is tha
pin z"
Stand ap!"
e There, by thunder :"
5 "Wny don't you fail down an b
G done win ~"
IS 'SLop howling
j. Stop"
e "0ucn! Devil take ,has pin,'
d Let that be!''
"Benayen"
L 'GreaL scat J"
q Say, why don't you have four c
; Eve Thousand more buttons on you
I'd clothes ~
Sc QUIT
% Now, where is that other stocl
u ingl"
{, keep your foot still !"
20 by Jove In Jerusalem -
'Glmme The Other iooi ~
u "Au, the other -
Cant you see ~
. "Saneuued Solomon, what d
r you want to spread your toes all G.
'e for! How DO you suppose I'm goiD
TO put your stocking on with yc,
1g fUol Ia that shape
be stop itl7
be Stop it, | say y
Let 20 there y
lis Prov, WOW e-e-u, WI
be stuck that pin IN thar way 2"
as You OF course" says a cold, th
er cutting voice; ana be glances up az
by sees his vile looking down on hi
III taunting, exasperaling sort
lss way. I'D be ashamed OF myself
she continued, "to go on in that wa
vn and get SO out OF patience with a Ii
so tie bit Oh baby. You've been m
cd king noise enough TO raise the dea
ana the clothes look as if they'd bee
=, thrown on with pitehfork. Gimn
Gu hlmn'
',s And ne gets up sheepishly and st
- leniy, and after slamming and STAN
- ing around the house after the liz
m ment bottle, and banging the doc
and making as big noise as he ca
,n' be works himself into such state
m- meanness ana modification that,
ns spite himself, he goes off down ios
GU without his breakfast.
nd
iio Where are you going asked o.
10 little fellow Of another who had sli
ny ped and fallen down on the paveme.
Going to get upv' was the reply.
Ike An old bachelor explains the COZ
we age of the Turks by saying that
q man with more than one wife oug
We to be able TO face death 8. g.
- sirro