The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1877-12-29
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

they arc discussing liic pIoDicibi
that journal, 'let them get up some kind
money that Chicago bank can't get away with
The Ottawa Savings Bank is a source OF enc
less wonderment to the newspaper paragraphcr
because it stopped business without chealih
anybody. Such unsophistcatcd honesty IS ph'
nomenal and anachronistic. One paragrapht
in his enthusiasm declares: THAT Bank de
serves place in history by the side Of Abou be
Adhem and g. Washington
When faithful mother goes on q whaling eN
petition, she never fails to get all the blubbc
she wants
A Brooklyn Girl has been arrested for burglar
as if q woman had no right to be ont with he
jimmy.
II your health is poor, devote yourself to
buckwheat diet this winter, and you'll be allie t.
come up TO the scratch in the spring.
When Mr.. Eyarts counted upon the "logc o
politics" keeping Conklng and Blaine apart ht
seems TO have been warming his coat-tails ut
cod CRATE World.
A reporter on Chicago newspaper was dis
missed last week for speaking of a Chicago bust
ness house as "the largest in the West" instead
OF 'the largest in the world"
Phocion Howard lost between $500 and 500
in his few months management of the Tuscola
Regftqc Mighty smart man that Howard: saws
so himsclf-h. Il. Goatte.
The following ode to the prairie wind appears
il the Burlington Holckeye as original, though it
sounds aulaliGss,,y Ike Joaquin Mlll?ri
Oh, the blizzard, the beautiful blizzard; frccE-
inn q follow from Ia iyynrl mukiuU his
face as blue as a wizard, chilling the llfe-bOod
that flows from his gizzard; blowing, showing,
cold lizard; get up and get out Of this, beau
tful blizzard.
The Mendoza button factory, which stopped
business year ago, is to be revived. Money has
got so scarce out there that they expect to pass
off the buttons for nickcls.
There is an animated discussion going on
among the heightened critics at the east as to the
authorship Of the following exquisite obituary
stanzas. As if anybody could have written them
except Phlladelphia's great poet, &. Washington
Child, a. NJ:
Go. bury Bartholomew out in the woods,
in beautiful hole in the ground,
Where the woodpecker sings and the bumIlebccs
buzz,
And the straddc bugs tumble around
And when in the winter the snow has made white
The last resting place of the dead
HIS brother Artemus can 20 out with Jane
And visit the place with their sled.
How to make a catfsh-Lcayc her alone in
room with an aquarium.
The average man doesn't want an elephant on
his hands. -Sprinqted Rpldlicdn. No. nor on
hi. toes, either.-Bost Post.
Have the managers of the Young Ladies' TEN.
perance Society been thoughtful enough to pro-
vide blanks for young gentlemen that want to
swear off on the LIST of January? There should
also be a justice Of the peace kept at hand for
convenience.
Mice can live anywhere comfortably but in
church; they fat very slowly in u church This
proves that they can't live on religion any more
than a minister can"
In Switzerland donkeys have bells on their
nccks In this country it is not unusual to see |
them with bellies on their arms.-Lo,rR C0uyier. |
4 man named Duwitt died in Danbury, Conn, |
tie other day, and while he was being carted
past the Nacs office, fifteen compositors stuck
their heads out of the windows and remarked
loud enough TO DC heard in the editorial room,
''They haul Duwttn'
The Sweet Singer Of the Burlington Hartcp |
tune, his Tyre and sings as follows;
BENJAMIN b.
Told Annie ID.
That him would have she
If her would have he.
This will be generally accepted a. poetry, hut
Anna says ii is not truth.
North Carolina darkcy literary society re-.
Gently discussed the question: us ii cruel to fish
with angle wOrmsY That was an interesting
subject for dc bait, sure enough.
HdnEeyc \ baby has been born in Selma.
Alabama, with back bone so much larger than
il necessary that ii can wag the end Of it, Mr.
Darwin Mr. Darwin!! Iii, there; quick, Mr..
Darwlnlu
The Freeport Bulletin pollcs fun at a local law.
yer for quoting as scriptural the words, "Thc
battle IS not to the strong, but 10 the active the
yiSilant, the brave" Though the words are put
by William Weir into the mouth of Patrick Hen
ry, the Bulletin might find the same idea in a
dozen OF scriptural passages and almost the same
words in an address Of Judas Maccahus To his
little army before Mashpa.
I Methodist brother writing from the south i,
full Of admiration Of the singing of negroes,
though lie says they occasionally get the good
old hymn, slightly mixed. Thus he heard p
Gus colorcd sister sing:
sweet prospects, sweet birds and sweet flower,
Have ~ lost their sweetness bat mc.n
And another:
Am J a shoulder Of a hos,
\ quarter Of lamb"
She meant all right, though blcs, hes ,ood
heart.
I, was in Pennsylvania. He proposed TO the
daughter Of q ncighbor. She laughed al him
and told him she was going 10 marry another
man, rival whom he dislikcd. He then went
home and hanged himself. When she heard Of
bis death She cried ou:, "Oh, intended 10 mar
~ Billy. Twas only teasing him." and became
unconscious. So il would appear that Billy was
aone too soon in hanging himself Dpiba,y
G0~s
POPPING CORN.
We were popping corn,
S=ce, Kitty aud /
II danced about